--- ~ ~  ~     ~    ~     lih~o
~ - >;~~7F~T~1~7~~ ~ QF~ 
"TELL IT ALL":
THE STORY OF A LIFE'S EXPERIENCE
IN
MORMONISM.
i't "   BY
MRS. T. B. H..ENHOUSE,
OF SALT LKE CITY,
FOR MORE THAN TWENTY YEARS THE WIFE OF A MORMON MISSIONARY AND ELDER.
WITH INTRODUCTORY PREFACE BY MRS. HARRIET BEECHER STOWE.
Full-page Jllustrations, and see-ate Portrait of the Author.
[PUBLISHED BY SUBSCRIPTION ONLY.]
HARTFORD, CONN.:
A. D. WORTHINGTON & Co., PUBLISHERS.
QUEEN CITY PUBLISHING Co., CINCINNATI.   EXCELSIOR PUBLISHING Co., ST. LOUIS.
LOUIS LLOYD & Co., CHICAGO.  A. L. BANCROFT & Co., SAN FRANCISCO.
I875.
an   utbxgan: 
F 
[All rights of translation reserved.]
.-I
Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year I874,
BY A. D. WORTHINGTON & CO.,
In the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington, D. C.
[Entered also at Stationers Hall, London, Eng.]
, /-. 
TO
MY CHILDREN;
WITH
ALL A MOTHER'S LOVE AND TENDERNESS,
THIS VOLUME,
THE
STORY OF MY LIFE'S EXPERIENCE,
Is
AFFECTIONATELY INSCRIBED.
1 4o
.[3  A,h
0 
I'
CHAS. SPIEGLE, OF NEW YORK.
PAGE.
I. STEEL-PLATE PORTRAIT OF THE AUTHOR,  - -  Fron/zisiece.
2. STEEL-PLATE PORTRAIT OF BRIGHAM YOUNG, -  - - To face, 265
PILLARS OF THE MORMON CHURCH, -—...                  63
3. GEORGE A. SMITH, THE NEW TRUSTEE-IN-TRUST,   - -     63
4. "YOUNG BRIGGY," THE PROBABLE SUCCESSOR OF THE PROPHET,  63
5. "PRESIDENT" DANIEL H. WELLS, MAYOR OF SALT LAKE CITY, - 63
6. THE APOSTLE ORSON PRATT, "THE CHAMPION OF POLYGAMY,"   63
7. ATTACKING THE SHOEMAKER,......... — 4
8. TOO TRUE! -..    x —   ----- _- - -- -34
9. MOCKED WITH WORDS, -.....   1 — -      ----- 83
Io. "GATHERING TO ZION"-LIFE BY THE WAY,.. —---        2-4
iI. OVER AT LAST,...... —---      --       ---— 225
12. VIEW OF MAIN STREET, SALT LAKE CITY, [From a Photograph], -    249
THE LADIES' SIDE OF MORMONISM,.... — - ----   284
'3. AMELIA FOLSOM YOUNG, BRIGHAM'S FAVORITE WIFE,  -    284
'4. "ANN-ELIZA," BRIGHAM'S NINETEENTH WIFE,...   --— 284
'5. MISS ELIZA R. SNOW, MORMON POETESS AND HIGH PRIESTESS,  284
I6. MRS. JOHN W. YOUNG, WIFE OF BRIGHAM'S APOSTATE SON,  -  284
I7. BROTHER BRIGHAM'S LAST BABY, -... ---- -  - -       284
'8. SCENE OF THE MOUNTAIN MEADOWS' MASSACRE,    - -     335
I9. MY TALKATIVE FRIEND,..... —--     - ----    4-3
20. THE CRISIS OF A LIFE-ENTERING INTO POLYGAMY,  -  -  455
2.. PUTTING HIMSELF IN HER PLACE,... —----.   473
22. "CHURCH" STORE-MUST BE RIGHT! _-.. - ___503
23. POLYGAMY IN LOW LIFE-THE POOR MAN'S FAMILY,    -   5I5
24. POLYGAMY IN HIGH LIFE-THE PROPHET'S MANSION, - - -  55
25. DESPAIR! -...... ---- _____ —--                     525
26. FAC-SIMILE OF A MORMON "BILL OF DIVORCE,"   --       557
27. LIGHT AT EVENTIDE,... _..__.._. -     569 
PUBLISHERS' NOTICE.
BY the merest accident, a few months ago, in New York
City, the Publishers became personally acquainted with Mr.
T. B. H. Stenhouse, of Salt Lake City, the husband of the
Author of the present volume, and before they separated,
preliminary steps were taken for its publication.
Almost a year before that time, Mrs. Harriet Beecher
Stowe, the talented author of  "Uncle Tom's Cabin," had
addressed a kind note to Mrs. Stenhouse, congratulating her
upon the appeal which she had made on behalf of the women
of Utah, in a little work which she had then just published.
Some correspondence subsequently ensued between the two
ladies who had so successfully attacked "the twin relics of
barbarism"-polygamy and slavery.  They afterwards became
personally acquainted; and when Mrs. Stenhouse requested
Mrs. Stowe to write the preface for her new work, that gifted
author unhesitatingly replied: " I am happy to be able to do
the least thing which can show how heartily I sympathise
with the effort you are making.   May God bless both it
and you, is the prayer of yours ever truly,-P,- B _STOWE." 
PREFACE
BY
MRS. HARRIET BEECHER
IN these pages, a woman, a wife and mother, speaks the
sorrows and oppressions of which she has been the witness
and the victim.
It is because her sorrows and her oppressions are those of
thousands, who, suffering like her, cannot or dare not speak
for themselves, that she thus gives this history to the public.
It is no sensational story, but a plain, unvarnished tale of
truth, stranger and sadder than fiction.
Our day has seen a glorious breaking of fetters. The
slave-pens of the South have become a nightmare of the
past; the auction-block and whipping-post have given place
to the church and school-house; and the songs of emancipated millions are heard through our land.
Shall we not then hope that the hour is come to loose the
bonds of a cruel slavery whose chains have cut into the very
hearts of thousands of our sisters-a slavery which debases
and degrades womanhood, motherhood, and the family?
Let every happy wife and mother who reads these lines
give her sympathy, prayers, and efforts to free her sisters
from this degrading bondage. Let all the womanhood of the
country stand united for them.   There is a power in combined enlightened sentiment and sympathy before which
every form of injustice and cruelty inist finally go down.
May He who came to break every yoke hasten this deliver
ance.
HARRIET BEECHER STOWE.
STOWE.
. 0 - 
PREFACE.
IN the fall of the year I869, a few earnest, thinking men,
members of the Mormon Church, and living in Salt Lake
City, inaugurated what was regarded at the time as a grand
schism. Those who had watched with anxiety the progress of
Mormonism, hailed the "New Movement" as the harbinger
of the work of disintegration so long anticipated by the
thoughtful-minded Saints, and believed that the opposition to
Theocracy then begun, would continue until the extraordinary assumptions of the Mormon priesthood were exploded,
and Mormonism itself should lose its political status and firnd
its place only among the singular sects of the day.
It was freely predicted that Woman, in her turn, would
accept her part in the work of reformation, take up the
marriage question among the Saints, and make al end of
polygamy.
Little did I imagine at that period, that any such mission
as that which I have since realised as mine, was in the Providence of Time awaiting me, or that I should ever have the
boldness, either with tongue or pen, to plead the cause of the
Women of Utah. But, impelled by those unseen influences
which shape our destinies, I took my stand with the "heretics;" and, as it happened, my own was the first woman's
name enrolled in their cause.
The circumstances which wrought a change in my own
life produced a corresponding revolution in the life of my
husband.
In withdrawing from the Mormon Church, we laid our
I
o  -_ 
PREFACE.
selves, our associations and the labors of over twenty years,
upon the altar, and took up the burden of life anew. We
had sacrificed everything in obedience to the "counsel" of
Brigham Young; and my husband, to give a new direction
to his mind, and also to form some plan for our future life,
thought it advisable that he should visit New York. He did
so; and shortly after employed himself in writing a history
of the Mormon Church, which has since been published.
In course of time, the burden of providing for a large
family, and the anxiety and care of conducting successfully
a business among a people who make it a religious duty to
sternly set their faces against those who dissent from their
faith, exhausted my physical and mental strength. Considering, therefore, that change might be beneficial to me, and my
own personal affairs urgently calling me to New York City, I
followed my husband thither.
On  my way East, I met a highly-valued friend of my
family, who, in the course of our journey together over the
Pacific Railroad, enthusiastically urged me to tell the story
of my life, and to give to the world what I knew about
Polygamy. I had been repeatedly advised to do so by friends
at home, but up to that time no plan had been arranged
for carrying out the suggestion.
I had hardly arrived in New York, before the electric
messenger announced that a severe snow-storm was raging
on the vast plains between the Rocky Mountains and the
Missouri River, and for several weeks all traffic over the
Union Pacific Railroad was interrupted, and I could not return
to my home in the distant West.
That unlooked-for snow-blockade became seriously annoying; for not only was I most anxious to return to my children,
but also, never having known an idle hour, I could not live
without something to do. At that moment of unsettled
feeling, a lady-friend, with whom I was visiting, suggested
again " the book;" and she would not permit me to leave her
house, until she had exacted from me a promise that it should
be written.
viii 
PREFACE.
Next morning, I began my task in earnest. I faithfully
kept my room and labored unremittingly; and in. three weeks
the manuscript of my little work on "Polygamy in Utah," was
completed.
It was issued in pamphlet form, and was very kindly
welcomed by the press- both secular and religious-and
for this I was sincerely grateful. I had not, up to that time,
thought of much else than its effect upon the people of
Utah; but the voluminous notices which that little book
received, showed the deep interest which the people of the
United States had taken in "the Mormon question," and how
ardently they desired to see the extinction of the polygamic
institution among the Saints.
In Salt Lake City, I was so situated that I was daily-I
might almost say hourly -brought in contact with visitors
to the Modern Zion; for, during the summer, thousands of
travellers pass over the Pacific Railroad. Not a few of these
called to see me; and I received from ladies and gentlemenwhose kind interest in my welfare I felt very deeply-many
personal attentions, many words of sympathy and encouragement, and many intelligent and useful suggestions in respect
to my future life. Indeed, I saw myself quite unexpectedly,
and, I may truthfully say, without my own desire, become an
object of interest.
By the earnest suggestions of friends and strangers, and
by the widely published opinions of the press, I was made to
feel that I had but beg-tin my work-that I had but partly drawn
aside the veil that covered the worst oppression and degradation of woman ever known in a civilised country. Nearly
all who spoke to me expressed their surprise that intelligent
men and women should be found in communion with the
Mormon Church, in which it was so clearly evident that the
teachings of Christianity had been supplanted by an attempt
to imitate the barbarism of Oriental nations in a long past
age, and the sweet influences of the religion of Jesus were
superseded by the most objectionable practices of the ancient
Jews. How persons of education and refinement could ever
ix 
PREFACE.
have embraced a faith that prostrated them at the feet of
the Mormon Prophet, and his successor Brigham Young, was
to the enquiring mind a perfect mystery.
The numerous questions which I had to answer, and the
explanations which I had to give, shewed me that my little
book had only whetted the appetite of the intelligent investigator, and that there was a general call for a woman's book
on Mormonism, a book that should reveal the iinzer life of
the Saints,-exhibit the influences which had contributed to
draw Christian people away from Christian Churches to the
standard of the American Prophet, Joseph Smith, and subject
them to the power of that organisation which has, since his
death, subjugated the mass of the Mormon people in Utah
to the will and wickedness of the Priesthood under the leadership of Brother Brigham.
There have from time to time appeared many works on
Mormonism which professed to give an insight into the "inner
life" of the Saints. Some of those books were written by
women; some by visitors to Utah, or persons who had resided
for a longer or shorter period in the Territory; and more than
one at least was published under the name of women who
claimed to be members of the Mormon Church. How untrustworthy the accounts of visitors and Gentiles are, and the
reason why such should be the case, I shall hereafter, in the
course of this volume, have occasion to explain;-and that
the autobiographies of supposed Mormon women were equally
unreliable, the following facts will clearly demonstrate.
A French Lady-a Countess and a woman of the worldMadame Olympe Odouard-came to see me in Salt Lake City.
She was a woman of intelligence and quick perception, with
whom to spend an hour was a perfect pleasure. After her
return to France, she, of course, wrote a book, entitled Le Far
West. And in that book, (page 335,) she said:
"II y a deux grands journaux A Salt Lake City: le New Descret et le NVew
Telegrafph.  Mr. Stenhouse, le redacteur en chef du premier, est un homme
eminemment instruit. Allemand d'origine, il parle le Frangais tres purement.
Sa femme, nee Frangaise, est une femme du monde, bonne, charmante, tresinstruite, bonne musicienne, et mere de treize beaux enfants. C'est une ex-Sceur
x 
PREFACE.
de Charit6 et la seule femme Catholique et Frangaise quo soit parmi les Mormones."
Some of my readers may perhaps have forgotten their
French lessons: I, therefore, translate:
There are two principal journals in Salt Lake City-the New Descret and the
New Telegraph.  Mr.  Stenhouse is editor-in-chief of the first.   He is a welltaught man of German origin, and speaks the French language with the greatest
purity. His wife, a French lady, is a woman of the world-good looking, charming, well educated, a good musician, and the mother of thirteen fine children.
She is an ex-Sister of Charity, and the only French Catholic who has joined
the "Mormon Church."
Now here is an example in type.. Let us judge of its truthfulness. In the first place there never was such a paper as
the New Descret or the New Telegraph.  The Deseret NVews
has been in existence for some years. My husband assisted
on its staff, but he was never editor-in-chief. The Daily Telegrapk was my husband's own paper, but it never appeared
under any other name. Little items may seem of small importance, but in a case where truthfulness is called in question,
they are worth mentioning. Mr. Stenhouse is a Scotchman
by birth, and I am an Englishwoman. His acquaintance with
the French tongue is, of course, limited; while I, for my part,
never was, or will be, either a Roman Catholic or a Sister of
Charity. Ten, and not thirteen "fine" children are all who call
me mother; and at the time when Madame Olympe wrote there
were only eight. Here I state the whole case briefly. Let
the reader judge of the truthfulness of "travellers' stories."
That comprehensive and truthful works on this subject
have appeared, I readily admit, but most of them are mere
sketches:-such, for example, as that by Secretary Ferris-a
Gentile, but a fair and impartial author;-or else were published-as that, for instance, by John Hyde, a good man and
a vigorous writer-so many years ago that they are now, to a
great extent, out of date. Mrs. Waite is the best Gentile
lady-writer; but for obvious reasons, although she was a
woman of intelligence and penetration, her knowledge of the
inner life of Mormonism was necessarily circumscribed.
Two books appeared, each claiming to be written by genu
xi 
PREFACE.
ine Mormon women. They were, however, originally published fifteen or twenty years ago; and although they are still
on sale, they are, as a matter of course, silent concerning
recent events.  The first of these two volumes was really
written by a gentleman who was himself neither a Mormon
nor had any intimate acquaintance with the system and doctrines of that people. He obtained from the lady-the supposed author-all the information which she was capable of
imparting, and then worked it up in a startling and sensational
manner, mingling facts and fiction in such a way that the
Mormons have always declared that the whole volume was a
scandalous libel.
The other volume was first published nearly twenty years
ago. It was professedly written by the wife of a Mormon elder;
but it was really the production of an old lady in New Jersey,
who had never even been out to Utah, and who drew entirely
upon her own imagination for all that she could not adapt
from other sensational writers on Mormonism. This book
was first published by a New York firm, and being supposed
by the innocent public to be genuine, it had an extraordinary
circulation-forty or fifty thousand being sold. The publishers, however, failed, and the stereotype plates passed into other
hands. Subsequently the work having come under the notice
of a subscription firm at Hartford, they negotiated for the use
of the plates. One word of the heading of each page was
cut out, a new title was selected, some old illustrations and a
few new ones were added, and an ancient steel-plate portrait, which had once done duty in some book of poetry or
illustrated volume of fashionable beauties of years ago, was
vamped up, and the supposed signature of the fictitious author
was engraved beneath it. This book, now re-christened, and
apparently a new volume, was launched upon the market.  It
is at the present moment advertised in many local newspapers,
and the confiding public cheerfully buy it under the impression that it is the genuine production of a Mormon woman.
Such is the history of some of the so-called autobiographies
which have appeared.
xfi 
PREFACE.
I mention these facts to show that the demand for a true
history by a real Miormon woman has never yet been supplied.
It was this knowledge which induced me to publish my former
little work, and encourages me to hope that the present volume may meet with acceptance.
A few months after the publication of my first book, I was
invited to lecture upon "Polygamy in Utah," and wherever 1
spoke I observed the same spirit of enquiry and met with a
renewed demand for more of circumstance and narrativewhich I had, from a sense of personal delicacy, withheld in
my former work.
I saw no way of satisfying myself and others than by
accepting the rather spiteful invitation of a certain Mormon
paper to "TELL IT ALL," and this, in a narrative of my own
personal experience, which I now present to the reader, I
have endeavored to do. Myself not in any sense a literary
woman, or making any pretensions as a writer, I hope to
escape severe criticism from the public and the press.   I
had a simple story to tell-the story of my life and of the
wrongs of women in Utah. Startling and terrible facts have
fallen under my observation. These also I have related; but
my constant effort has been to tell my story in the plainest,
simplest way, and to avoid exaggeration, but never shrink
from a straightforward statement of facts. I have disguised
nothing, and palliated nothing; and I feel assured that those
who from their actual and intimate acquaintance with Mormonism in Utah as it really is, are capable of passing a just
and impartial judgment upon my story, will pronounce without
hesitation that I have told "the truth, the whole truth, and
nothing but the truth."
FANNY STENHOUSE.
SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH.
xiii 
-0
CHAPTER IL
MY EARLY LIFER
The Memory of my Youthful Days-Early Religious Impressions-I become
a Church-Member-My Pious Admirer-A brief Homily on Feminine
Vanities-My first Start in Life-Faithful Counsels of a Friend-Life
in a French School-The Maison-Martin-Preparing my Lessons-Ob jecting to a Protestant-"Assisting" at Service-My Ghostly Adviser The "instructions" of a Handsome Young Priest-Flirtation and Apos tolic Succession-The Blind Leading the Blind-The Scene of Labor
Changed-Domestic Life at St. Brieux-An indifferent Young Gentle man-The Presence of an "Icicle"-Quiet Attentions to "Mademoiselle Miss"-The Man who Waits Wins-My Affianced Lover-Reasons why
a French Girl Marries-Views of Marriage among the French-Traces of
Early Teachings-Mental Struggles and Doubts-I Resolve to Visit
England —The Crisis of My Life.     --....... 31
CHAPTER II.
MY FIRST INTRODUCTION TO MORMONISM.
Returning Home-" Au Revoir"-A  Visit to Jersey-The Home of my
Childhood-My First Introduction to Mormonism-An "Apostate's"
View of the Saints-Revelation and Roguery-A Matter of Personal
Interest-A Lady's Logic-A Warning against the New Religion-First
Visit to a Mormon Meeting-Catching the "Mormon Fever"-Snubbing
an EIder-A Polite Saint-Fighting a Delusion-Among Dear Friends "Full of the Spirit"-Religion in Practical Life-Preparing Comforts
for the Missionary Elders-Emotional Religion-The Testimony of the
Spirit-Sunday Service among the Saints-Contagious Enthusiasm-The
Story of a too-confiding Convert-HIow He Went out to Zion-Terrible
Fate of an Apostate-Killed by "the Indians"-Preaching under Diffi culties-My First Introduction to my Future Husband-" The Other
Daughter from France"-The Eloquence of Elder Stenhouse-Creating
an Impression-A Memorable Era in My Life.-..         - -— 39
Co~~~~tfft'#~~~~~ 
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER III.
THE LABOR OF MY LIFE BEGUN:-HOW THE MORMON MISSIONARIES MADE
CONVERTS.
A Confirmation Meeting-The Age for Baptism-How Sister Martha was
Confirmed-How Mormon Saints are "Blessed"-The Spirit of Prophecy
-A Lecture by Elder Stenhouse-The New Gospel Explained-A Vision
of Latter-Day Glory-How I was Convinced-The Finger of Destiny
Draws Me On-A Mormon Baptism-I Become a Member of the Church
-I am Baptised, Confirmed, and Blessed-I begin a New  Life-A
Happy Dream of Missionary Usefulness-I begin Work with Enthusiasm
-Methodism and Mormonism Compared-HIow Converts are Made-Re ligious Revivals-The Anxious Seats-A Testimony Meeting-How Brig.
ham Young has Damped the Ardor of the Saints-Magical Effects of an
Elder's Speech-The Mormon Marsellaise-Effects of Song upon Reli gious Feeling.......
CHAPTER IV.
LIFE AMONG THE SAINTS-MY NEW ENGAGEMENTS.
Beginning Life as a Mormon-Breaking Way from the Past-My Friends in
France-Placed in a Difficult Position-I Remember my Betrothed-Ex clusiveness of my New Faith-An "Apostle" Lays Down the Law-How
to Keep aloof from the Gentiles-Womaji's Duty-" The Foundation of
a Little Family Kingdom"-The "Gift of Tongues" in Modern Days An Extraordinary Meeting-Sister Ellis exercises her "Gift"-Need of an
Interpreter-Emotional Religion-How Brother Brigham once "Spake in
Tongues"-A "High Time" at Kirtland in the days Qf Joseph-A Scene
in the Lion House-One of the Prophet's Wives "Speaks"-Another
Wife Interprets-I Receive a Blessing-Brother Young Discountenances
the "Gift"-Only half Convinced-" To Doubt is Sin"-I Arrive at an
Important Conclusion-I instruct Elder Stenhouse in the French language
-An Interesting Pupil-Declining the verb y'Aime-Studies in the Back
Parlor-A Persevering Young Man-Why I listened to Elder Stenhouse's
Suit-I am Engaged to Him-I become a Missionary's Wife-I Write to
my  Friends in France-A Free Confession-Pleasant Memories of the
Past.........                      6i
CHAPTER V.
.iORMON WONDERS:-ANOINTINGS AND MIRACLES.
How a "Miracle" was Performed-The Evidence of One's Senses-Suc cessful use of Scripture Arguments-Mormon verszus Local Preacher A lively Discussion-A little "Personal" Matter-A Man who Never Saw
a Miracle-Success Dependent upon Faith-"I Hardly know what to
Think of It"-A New Convert-How Sister Armstrong was Healed-A
Genuine Case-Five Years of Helplessness-Testing the Claims:-A
xv
50 
CONTENTS.
fair Proposal-The Faithful Accept the Offer-The Magnetic PrincipleA good Dose of Oil-How the Anointing was Performed:' Aaron Outdone-Making the Passes-An Exhausting Labor-" Give me your Hand,
Brother"-" Have faith, Sister Armstrong!"-" We Thought that She
was Dead"-My first Introduction to Mary Burton-A Wilful LassieWe become Fast Friends-Seeing is Sometimes Believing-Elder Stenhouse Works a Miracle:-Cures a man of the Cholera-How a "regular
battle" was Fought-A Wife's unprofitable Faith-How the Miraculous
Power was All Used Up-How my Husband made himself Useful again.
CHIAPTER VI.
TIHE FIRST WHISPERINGS OF POLYGAMY.
Meeting a Living "Apostle"-The London Conference-What I Expected Four Apostles at One Time-The Charms of a Priestly Life-Leading
About a "Sister"-The "Mystery of Godliness"-Imitating Solomon The Formation of a "Branch"-Doing the Work of the Lord-The
Apostle Lorenzo Snow-An Argument by the Way-Silent Snow-The
Apostle Snow Thaws at the Right Time-H-ow a Convenient Revelation
was Thrice Received-Unwilling Consent-A Cruel Wrong-He Would
be Five Years Away-The Conference Organised-A Mission to Italy A Pleasant Position for a Wife-The Vicissitudes of a Year-God's Mercy
a Safe Trust-A Valedictory Picnic-Not Far from Netley Abbey-Bid ding Good-bye to the Missionaries-My Ideas of My Husband's Work Mary Suggests a New Idea-What She Said-" I'm Not a Little Girl" "I Kissed Her, and Continued"-All, all False-Elder Stenhouse Departs
for Italy-Italy is the End of Our Miserable Hopes-How the Missiona ries Departed-I Bid Adieu to My Husband. -.
CHAPTER VII.
MY HUSBAND'S MISSION:-I AM LEFT ALONE.
The Italian Mission-A Saint's Responsibility-Obliging a Friend-Th
Pains and Penalties of a Saintly Life-My Letters to my Husband-Th
Whisperings of the Coming Storm-Polygamy Denied-The Wretche
Subterfuges of certain Elders-The Lying Basis of Polygamy-Wha
Apostle Taylor said-My Personal Experience-How Polygamy was Intrc
duced among the Saints-I want to find My own Groove-Suffering fo
Conscience Sake-Lonely Contemplation of a Weary Soul-The Ameri
can Apostles-" Without Purse or Scrip"-The Swiss Mission-My ow
Enthusiasm-My Darling Clara-Lighting the "load" of Love-Mar
Burton's Love Affairs-The Apostle Lorenzo Snow-Missionary Work I Bear my own Troubles Alone-The Difficulties of Missionary Work A Shoemaker who respected his Soul-Work Indefatigable-Le Gover
neur d6 L' Hopital-Our New Convert-Days of Poverty-Practica
Faith-How we Endured-The Darkness which Precedes the Dawn-Th
Suffering of all who Work to Win.              -......*
xvi
74
90
- 101 
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER VIII.
OUR MISSION IN SWITZERLAND:-MUTTERINGS OF THE COMING STORM.
An Apostle Comes to Help Me-How the Wives of Missionaries were Sup ported —I Meet with Friends-My Attempts at Proselytizing-Madame
Baiiff Rejects the Revelation-Primitive Meetings of the Saints-Certain
Bashful Men-A Lady Weak in the Faith-How My Faith was Tried "If You Could Get that Child Healed"-Wanted: The Gift of Healing What Governor Stoudeman Did-The Fate of a Little Child-Madame
Baliff Makes a Suggestion-An Effort of Faith-My Doubts and Fears An Anxious Night-Mary Burton's Letter-Elder Shrewsbury Manifests
Himself-A Girl's Opinion of HIer Lover-Fears of Polygamy-Certain
Imprudent Elders-The American Brethren-Learning a Business-Jeal ous of Her IHusband-" My Elder"-An Unsettled Mind-Obtaining
Information-Nothing Determined. - -..I.12I
CHAPTER IX.
THE REVELATION ON CELESTIAL "MARRIAGE."
Waiting for the Revelation-The Milenzial Star-The Revelation on the
Order of "Celestial Marriage"-" My Servant Joseph"-The Keys of the
Kingdom-Marrying for Eternity-The Unpardonable Sin-Being "As
the Angels"-Sealed by the Holy Spirit-Shedding Innocent Blood-The
Example of Abraham-The Power of the Priesthood-" Mine hlandmaid,
Emma Smith"-If li-e have Ten Virgins Given Unto Him"-Let this
Suffice for the Present-An Astonishing Message from Heaven-Learning
to Bear the Cross-Without Hope-Longing to Confide in Some One My Indignant Reception of the "Revelation"-" I Dared Not even Kneel
to God"-" There Was a Knock at My Chamber Door"-Not a Very
Entertaining Party-" The Old Gentleman Stood the Test"-Monsieur
Petitpierre "Thinks Prayerfully Over the 3/latter."     -.. 134
CI-APTER X.
MISSIONARY WORK:-TEACHING POLYGAMY.
Preaching Polygamy-A Phase of Missionary Life-An Embarrassing Posi tion-Bearing the Cross-One Ever-Present Thought-The Haunting Spectre of My Life-My Little Daughter Clara-The Work of Repen tance-Why Men are Sent on Mission-Working in the Dark-Days and
Nights of Prayer and Fasting-Preparing for Work-Breaking the News My First Convert-The Victim Chosen-The "Beauties" of "Celestial"
Matrimony"-Introducing a Pleasant Subject-"- Came Down Stairs Sing ing"-A Cruel Task-" Does My Serge Believe This?"-" I Tried to
Comfort IIer"-Not Wisely, but Too Well-How the Swiss Women Re ceived the Revelation-A Companion in Misery-A Letter from Mary
Burton-Polygamy in England-Elder Shrewsbury in Difficulties-Love
and Religion-How Polygamy Was Denied-Looking Most Miserable "lIe Kissed My Hland Sorrowfully.".....                         142
2
xvii 
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER XI.
MORMONISM IN ENGLAND:-PREPARING TO EMIGRATE.
A Blissful State of Ignorance-The Opinions of Monsieur Petitpierre-Strong
Arguments-How He Became an Apostate-" -le Shall Rule over Hier" The Nobler Sex-How  Women were Sufficientlys Honored-Looking
Anxiously for a Change-Establishing a Morlmon Paper-Denouncing the
Gentiles-Terrible Expectations —Hastening to Zion-A Journey of Many
Days-The Swiss Pilgrims-Death by the Way-Disobeying Counsel  The "Judgments" of the Lord-The Love of Many Waxes Cold-The
President of the London Conference-I)istinguished Apostates-Strange
News from Zion-An "Object of Interest"-Great Success of Mormon  ism in Britain-How Saints were Re-baptized-Poor Elder Marsden!  The Emigration Season-My Little Daughter Minnie-Saintly Treatment
-A Visit from Mary Burton-Hlow Love Affairs Progressed-Pacifying
a Lover-The Meaning of the Word "Patience." I -154
CHAPTER XII.
EMIGRATION TO ZION:-WE ARRIVE IN NEW YORK.
Mary Burton Tells her Story-A Persevering Lover-A Long Conversation
-Some "Strong Points" of the Revelation-A Trifling Circumstance Terrible Doings in Zion-low Orson Hyde became an Apostate-He
Bears Witness Against Joseph Smith-" Danites" and "Avenging An gels "-Murders Committed  by "Indians! "-Emigration in the Old
Times-A Journey of Nine Months-H-ow the Mormon Emigration was
Managed-A Favored Apostle-How the Profits were Pocketed-On
Board Ship-We Suffer Loss-low we were Deceived-An Untruthful
Apostle-Hlow Poor Mr. Tennant was Robbed-Brigham Young Acts
his Accustomed Part-Love and Marriage at Sea-Cooking Under Diffi  culties-" Harry and the Rats"-A Smnart Lad-An Ancient Scotch Sis  ter-Working "for a Consideration"-Christmas on Board Ship-Cruel
Treatment of Seamen-A New Year in the New World.. -  i67
CIIAPTER XIII.
LIFE IN NEW YORK:-CONDUCTING A MORMON PAPER.
An Introduction to a New World-The New York Saints-How Certain
Elders Disappeared-An Uncomfortable Week-Left all Alone-Love
Waxing Cold-Mental Slavery-The School-House at Williamsburgh Miserable Condition of the Emigrants-Suffering for Their Faith-The
Apostle Taylor Lectures the Saints-Some Smart "Counsel"-Buying
Shovels-An Unprofitable Speculation-The "Mean Yankee Gentiles"  Days and Nights of Trial-How the "Mormon" was Edited-A Rather
Small Salary-The Doings of High-Priests and "Seventies"-An Amiable
Connecticut Girl-Half-a-Dozen Wives-Permission from Brigham Young
-Certain Elders who had " I)isease of the IHeart"-The Course of True
Love-A Young Widow Who Looked Well in Weeds-Arranging the
Affairs of the lHeart —The lrue Source of Modern Revelations.   -   - I79
xviii 
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER XIV.
SAINTLY PILGRIMS ON THE WAY-THE " DIVINE" HAND-CART SCHEME
The Eastern Saints-Service in Williamsburgh-The " Prophet of the Lord"
Tries an Experiment-The Pilgrims Cross the Plains-The Hand-Cart
Scheme-lThe Poor Emigrants-A "Divine" Plan-The Great Gathering
to Zion-An Interesting Letter from Mary Burton-How Elder Shrews bury Won his Bride-A Solemn Oath Against Polygamy-Mary Burton's
Marriage-Arrival of the IHand-Cart Emigrants-Scene at Castle Garden
-Meeting with Mary Burton and her Husband-The Story of her Court ship-Her Trustful Enthusiasm-Proposing to make Brigham Young a
Kztng-Anticipations of War-How the Prophet Defrauded Brother Ten nant of Sixty Thousand Dollars-The Pilgrims Leave for the West-The
Story of a Truant Wife-Second Thoughts are Sometimes Best-The
Mormon Paper Comes to Grief-A New Trial of Faith-Literary Work Waiting for Permission to Journey Zionward. -.       i9i
CHAPTER XV.
A TERRIBLE STORY:-THE HAND-CART EMIGRANTS CROSSING THE PLAINS.
The HIand-Cart Emigration-Mary Burton's Story-Crossing the Plains The Camp at Iowa City-Shameful Neglect of the Church Authorities Making the Hand-Carts-The Outfit of the Emigrants-On the Way "A  Day's March Nearer Home"-Stout-hearted  Pilgrims-Traveling
through Iowa-Showing Kindness to the Emigrants-Need of Help and
Sympathy-Perils and Privations of the Journey-How they Suffered
Hunger, and Fainted by the Way-Very Scanty Rations-Distress of the
Women and Children: the Weak and the Sickly-How the Church "took
Care" of the Emigrants' Money-Suffering from the Heat-Arriving at
Florence, near Omaha-H-ow a Mass-meeting was Held-Taking Counsel
-A Rash and Foolish Decision-Offering to Swallow a Snow-Storm Brave Advice of Elder Levi Savage-" Weak in the Faith"-How they
Continued their fatal Pilgrimage-The Camp at Eventide-False and
Dangerous Security-The Carts Break Down-The Cattle Stampede On Short Allowance-Visitors of Importance Arrive-Delusive Prophecy
of the Apostles-How they took the Bread of the Starving-Selfish Con duct of Saintly Leaders-Promises of Help. -  206
CHAPTER XVI.
MARY  BURTON'S STORY CONTINUED:-TERRIBLE ENDING OF THE HAND                           CART SCHEME.
The Pilgrims Arrive at Laramie-Disappointed Hopes-A Message from
the Apostle Richards-Help Again Promised-Fearful Sufferings and
Privations of the Emigrants-The Frosts of Winter Come On-The
Storm-Clouds are Gathering-Presentiments of Death-The Night-Air of
the Wilderness-The Bitter End-A  Wife's Unchanging Devotion Death in the Camp-Falling by the Way-A Shocking Incident-Faithful
Even in Death-The Good Deeds of Elder Chislett-How Faith Sustained
xix 
CONTENTS.
Them-Lost in the Snow-Storm-Brigham Young's Tardy Repentance"Joseph A." Comes to the Rescue-In the Grasp of Death-Fearful
Position of a Brave Woman-The Evil Day Comes at Last-A Night of
Horrors-Waiting for Assistance-The Finger of Death-The Cry of the
Wolves-A Scene too Terrible for Description-Who Died That Night
-" God was Near Me Then "-A Change for the Better-Three Anxious
Days-Light at Eventide-" Help Came Too Late for Them"-The
Victims of Fanaticism-The Remnant that Arrived-The Conclusion of
a Terrible Story.   -                                          221
CHAPTER XVII.
WE FORSAKE ALL, AND SET OUT FOR ZION-OUR JOURNEY ACROSS THE
PLAINS.
Considering Our Position-Doubts and Fears-A Visit from the Apostle Geo.
Q. Cannon-We are "Counselled" to Emigrate-Giving up All for the
Church-Taking Charge of the Emigrants-The Insignificance of Women
-Wives are Never to Follow their own Judgment-" Be Obedient"-We
Begin our Pilgrimage-The Perpetual Emigration Fund-How Mormon
Emigration is Managed-Settling the Debts of a Lady-Love-How Cer tain Imprudent Englishmen Have Suffered-The "Emigration" of Miss
Blank-An Ancient "Sister" who was Forced to Wait-Living Contra dictions-First Glimpse of Salt Lake City-A Glorious Panorama-The
Spectre of my Existence-The Prison-Walls of the Mountains-Without
Hope-Life in the Wagons-Search for a House-" Roughing It" in
Zion-First Impressions-A Cheerless Prospect for Winter-Daniel H.
Wells Promises Assistance-A Woful Spectacle of Tallow Candles Odorous Illumination-" L'Eglise c'est moi"-" An Ugly Man with a Cast
in his Eve"-An Awkward Mistake-Beginning Life in Zion. -   -   - 237
CHAPTER XVIII.
MY FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF THE CITY OF THE SAINTS.
Some Personal Observations-An Innocent Prophet-Living Witnesses of
the Truth-How Salt Lake City was Laid Out and Built-The Houses of
Many-Wived Men-My First Sunday in the Tabernacle-Curious Millin ery of Lady Saints-Two Remarkable Young Ladies-A Doubtful Exper iment-l-ow Service is Conducted in the Tabernacle-Extraordinary
Sermons-Deceitful Dealings of the Original Prophet-Why  Joseph,
the "Seer," Married Miss Snow-Another of the Prophet's Wives-A
Shameful Story-Aunty Shearer, and her Funny Ways-Spiritual Wives
and Proxy Wives-How the Saints are Married for Time and fQr Eternity
-Concerning  Certain Generous  Elders-How  Wives are  Secretly
"Sealed"-Extraordinary Request of One of Brigham's Wives-" The
Next Best Thing"-Mormon Ideas of the Marriage at Cana-Ttle "Fix ins" of a Mormon Husband-How "The Kingdom" is Built Up-Women
Only to be Saved by Their Husbands-A Painful Story-A Very Cau
xx 
CONTENTS.
tious Woman-A  Woman who wanted to be "Queen" —A  Deceitful
Lover-A Strange Home-Picture-"These Constitute my Kingdom"Forebodings.                                                 -.....  - 246
CHAPTER XIX.
BRIGHAM YOUNG AT HOME:-WE VISIT THE PROPHET AND HIS WIVES.
Inside the Lion House-The Family-Circle of the Prophet-A Gracious Re ception-A Woman's Description of Brigham Young-His Early Life
and Struggles-Working for "Six Bits" a Day-HIow he "Ate Up all the
Corn"-How he Worked as a Painter and Glazier-Born at the Right
Time-Brigham Young's Character Summed Up-How he Obtained his
Position-The Twelve Apostles of Mormonism-Intrigues for Place and
Power-Pulling the Nose of a Queen-Delivered Over to "The Buffetings
of Satan"-Pqor Sidney!-The "First Presidency"-Yearly Elections-A
Foe to Education-What Boys and Girls Should Learn-An Unfortu nate Musical Society-Moral Delinquencies of the Prophet-Borrowing
Clothes for a Conference —Iow a Million Dollars were Borrowed and
Paid!-Brigham's Avarice, Cowardice, and Thefts-A Terrible Despotism
-Lost Opportunities..........263
CHAPTER XX.
THE WIVES OF BRIGHAM YOUNG:-THEIR HISTORY AND THEIR DAILY LIFE.
The Prophet at Ilome-His Own Little Family-Domestic Life of a Patri arch-Wife the First-Two Sisters Married to the Same Man -Brigham's
Son at West Point-She " I-Iad her Day"-A Troublesome Wife-The
Privileges of Mormon Women-Shocking Case of Infatuation-Emmeline
The Forsaken Favorite-The Fickle Fancies of the Prophet:-Amelia:
"the Queen of the Harem"-The Follies of a Modern  Prophet-The
Charms of Julia Dean-The Spirit of the Prophet Subdued by Amelia's
Will-Eliza Ann Tells her Own Story-How Brother Brigham Won his
Last Wife-Fictions and Frauds-Brigham Names the Marriage Day He Came "Just as it Happened"-Getting Groceries in a Small Way  "Two Bits' worth of Fresh Meat"-The Conclusion of Eliza-Ann's Story
-A Patriarchal Family-The Father of Fifty Children-A Questionable
Story-" Whose Child is He"-Inside the Prophet's Mansion-Pocket Money and Divorce-Domestic Life of the Prophet-Entertaining a Vis itor-How a Large Family is Managed-The Patriarch at Home.  -   275
CHAPTER XXI.
THE ORIGIN OF "THE REFORMATION": EXTRAORDINARY DOINGS OF THE
SAINTS.
Some Peculiar Mormon Doctrines-The Faith of the Saints-Extraordinary
Ideas of Sacred Subjects-Polytheism Taught-Preexistence of the Soul Assisting the Spirits to Emigrate-" The Body that Shall Be"-The Ori
xxi 
CONTENTS.
gin of the Devil-Brigham's Adam Deity-" Kolob":-the Sun of SunsFather Adam Descends to Eden-The Grades of the Priesthood-Place
and Position in the Church-Obedience the Cardinal Virtue-Patriarchal
Blessings-How an Ancient Dame Sold her Petticoats to Buy a Blessing
-The Thin End of the Wedge-Terrible Doings in Missouri-Mormon
Politics-The Avenging Angels-Origin of the "Danites"-Whisperinlgs of
Dark Deeds-The Bearded "Daughters" of Zion-Brigham's ThreatThe "Death Society"-The Prophet Smith Murdered-" Milking the
Gentiles"-" Whittling an Apostate"-Treasonable Speeches and Practices-Brigham as Governor of Utah-Great Excitement in Salt Lake
City-A Crisis. - - -....                                           295
CHAPTER XXII.
THE " REIGN OF TERROR" IN UTAH:-THE REFORMATION OF THE SAINTS.
Days of Trouble in the Valley-Shedding Innocent Blood-What is Murder?
About Killing a Cat-Better than Their Faith-Cutting Throats for Love
-The Deeds of the Apostle "Jeddy"-The Celebrated Mule-The Saints
Accused-Missionaries Called Home-Their Consciences Accuse Them!
-The Blood-Atonement-What was Said in the Tabernacle-Terrible
Doctrines Taught-Brigham a "God!"-Fearful Blasphemy of Brigham
Young-The Shedding of Blood-" Righteously" Murdered-The Princi ples of Eternity-Deeds of Darkness-A "Saint" Murders his Wife-A
Terrible Story-How Children Were Married-A Petticoat on a Fence Pole-A Scarcity of Unmarried Girls-Obeying "Counsel"-Propositions
of Marriage-A Trifling Mistake-Stubborn Facts and Figures-The
Most Fearful Deed of All.-....                                    31o
CHAPTER XXIII.
THE MOUNTAIN MEADOWS' MASSACRE:-" I WILL REPAY, SAITH THE LORD."
The Train from Arkansas-The Story of a Friend-HIow an Apostle Merited
Death-Mormon Hospitality?-How Justice Slumbered-That Sinner
McLean-Weary and Footsore-What the Governor of the Territory Did
not Do-The Story of a Frightful Sin-A Weary Journey-" Without
Morsel of Bread"-Christian-like Indians-Empty Wagons-Militar
Murderers-Corn, but no Mercy-A Regular Military Call-Pursuing th
Pilgrims-The Muster-Call-The Little Children not to be Killed-Th
Infamous John D. Lee-The Flag of Truce-" The State of Deseret"-A
Deed of Fearful Treachery-Surrounded by "Indians!"-The Emigrant
Besieged-Dying for Want of Water-Without Bread-The Mountai
Meadows-Atrocious Mormon Villainy-The White Flag-The "Indi
ans" Again-The Mormon  Story of the Massacre-Treachery-Th
" White" Indians-Mormon Perfidy-How the Emigrants Were Betraye
-Marching to Death-A Few Children Saved-The Spoil-The Murde
of Many Men-The End of a Terrible Story....
xxii
- 324 
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER XXIV.
WAYS AND WORKS OF THE SAINTS:-THE PROPHET'S MILLINERY BILL.
Life in Zion-Introduced to Brother IHeber-" Have you got the Blues!" A Wife's Trials: Counselled to Take Another Wife-The Tabernacle
Sermons-The Crowning Glory of a Man-Spiritual Food-" Filled with
the Devil"-Face to Face with Polygamy-Winter in Salt Lake City-A
New Position-I Produce my Treasures-My "Talkative Friend"-Com.
forting Visitors-" I Don't Like Crying Women "-Afraid of Opposition
-Paid in Salt Chips and Whetstones-Creating a Business-" Something
Like Ilome"-A Bonnet for Brigham's Favorite Wife-Running up a
Little Bill-How the Honest Prophet Paid It-hlas Ile any Conscience? My whole Fortune Gone. -......340
CHAPTER XXV.
MYSTERIES OF THE ENDOWMENT HOUSE:-FEARFUL OATHS AND SECRET
-   CEREMONIES.
Saintly Privileges-The Origin of the Endowments-The Fraternity of the
Saints-Story of the Mysteries-Shocking Doings in Days Gone By Whisperings of Terrible Deeds —How the Mormons Mind Their Own
Business-The Temple Garments-Inside the Endowment Ilouse-The
Book of Life-Our Robes and Our Oil Bottles-The  Washings and
Anointings-The High Priestess-Invoking Blessings-The Mysterious
Garment-A New Name-The Garden of Eden-An Extraordinary Rep resentation-The Duplicate of the Devil-The First Degree-Terrible
and Revengeful Oaths-The Punishment of the Apostate-Pains and Pen alties of Betrayal-Grips and Passwords-The Mysterious Mark-Singular
Apostolic Sermon-The Second Degree-Secret and Significant Signs Behind the Veil-The Third Degree-Celestial Matrimony-Eight Hours
of "Mystery"-I Justify Myself........-                            352
CHAPTER XXVI.
SECRETS OF SAINTLY SPOUSES:-A VISIT FROM MY TALKATIVE FRIEND.
I Receive Congratulations-A "Bit of Advice"-How a Woman found
Wives for Her Husband-A "Rather Backward Man"-H-ow a Mormon
Husband was Managed-Anxious for Alice to Marry-A Very Obedient
Husband-Marrying for Principle: Not Love-How Saints are Silly over
New Wives-Taking Life Easily-" Miss Alice! We shall See"-Bring ing Home a "Sister"-Wife, Number Three-How a Wife Lost hter
Influence-How a Wife Consoled Herself Under Difficulties-Understand ing the "Order of the Kingdom"-The Necessity of Having Two Wives
at Least-Not Needful to Fall in Love-A Good Example.   -   -    370
Xxiii 
,CONTENTS.
CHAPTER XXVII.
SOCIAL LIFE IN SALT LAKE CITY:-BALL-ROOMS, " WALL-FLOWERS," AND
DIVORCE.
Seeking for Old Friends-In the Ball-Room-Social Life-How Brother
Brigham Built a Theatre-Short-Sightedness of the Prophet-Poets and
Polygamy Disagree-What a Woman would Think-The Ideal of True
Love-Unpleasant Comparisons-Bearing the Cross-Rather Old Boys Subduing a Wife and Getting a Wife-What the Wives Say in Secret Introduced to an Apostle's Five Wives-" I'm Afraid You are Not Too
Strong in the Faith"-The "Model Saint"-Improved Prospects-An Old
Friend Discovered-Another Victim to Polygamy-A Divorce for Ten
Dollars!-Pin-Money for Brother Brigham's Wives-Four Husbands of a
Girl of Twenty-One!-How will the Knot be Untied?  -   -    -   -8
CHAPTER XXVIII.
WHAT WOMEN SUFFER IN POLYGAMY:-THE STORY OF MARY BURTON.
A Surprise-Meeting an Old Friend-The Traces of Grief-Mary in Trouble
-Sympathy-" There is No Help!"-Painful Memories-The Remem brance of a Dead Love-" He Used to Almost Worship You"-" It
Changed hlim Altogether"-" htow can we Help Ourselves?"-Living up
to his Privileges-The Time for Beginning Polygamy-That Promise! A Wife's Prayers Refused-The System a Fearful Curse-Dangerous to
Talk!-" Is the Child Dead?"-H-is whole Nature Altered-Mary's Little
Girl. - Frantic with Sorrow-" Not Much to make Them IHappy"-A Mis erable Resource-A Sad Story of Wifely Sorrow-Htow Elder Shrewsbury
Kept his Promise to his Wife-" She shall Believe"-Marryinlg two Sis ters on the Same Day-Memories of Other Days.          393
CHAPTER XXIX.
HOW  MARRIAGES ARE MADE  IN  UTAH-A  NEW  WIFE FOUND FOR  MY
HUSBAND.
My Old Friend Madame Baliff-Painful Reverses of Fortune-Shameful
" Counsel" during the "Reformation"-A Choice of Two Evils-Remi niscences of a Happier Life-A Message from Brigham Young-A Seri ous Trust-An Interesting Case-Suffering for the Faith-My Talkative
Friend Again -I Receive Strange Congratulations-An Inquisitive Lady
-A  Lady who Could "Build-Up" a Rebellious Wife-The Apostle
Heber C. Kimball Pays Me a Special Visit-" Plenty of Wives around
the Town"-A Morning Drive with the "Model Saint"-A Lesson on
Children's Dresses-Good "Counsel" thrown Away-Heber Suggests a
Wife for nry I-usband-How ILove is Developed in Mormon Wives "The Flnest Thing in the World"-The Shadow of Coming Evil. -. 405
xxiv 
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER XXX.
TAKING A SECOND WIFE:-THE EXPERIENCE OF THE FIRST.
A Mysterious Errand-Going a Courting-Silence and Obedience, a Wife's
Duty-Kept in the Dark-Mistaken  Kindness-The Conflict between
Faith and Reason-A "Rebellious Woman"-My Poor Friend Carrie Women Advocating Polygamy-Finding a Wife for My Husband-The
Poor Victim-An Unusually Loving  Husband-A Consultation with
Brother Brigham-The Curse of a whole Life-The Fiat of the Prophet
-The Penalties of Disobedience-" I Can Only Consent"-A Message
from Eliza R. Snow-The Bad Logic of the Poetess-An Unwilling Sac rifice-An Unalterable Decision.-....
CHAPTER XXXI.
TRIALS-THE SECOND WIFE CHOSEN-SHADOWS OF LIFE.
A List of Eligible Young Ladies-Making a Selection-Asking the First
Wife's Consent-My Husband's Bride Elect-Watching a Husband's
Wooing-" Her Little Day of Triumph"-Another Victim to the Heavenly
"Order"-The Important Claims of Love-Reminiscences of a First
Love-Submissive to the Faith-A Man Cannot Love Two at One Time
-A Very Youthful Bride-A "Very Painful Task"-A Long Courtship
-Bearing the Cross-A Visit from my Husband's Bride-Elect-Belinda Carrie Grant's Illness-Divulging a Secret-" Love me One Day Longer"
-The Approach of Death-A Strange Promise for a Wife to Give-I
Choose a Wife for my Husband-Carrie's Last Hours-" It is Better So"
-A Sacred Pledge-My Last Visit to Carrie-A Sad Farewell.       -. 433
CHAPTER XXXII.
MARRIAGE FOR THE DEAD-ENTERING INTO POLYGAMY-THE NEW WIFE,
Memories of My Poor Friend Carrie-The Last Untroubled Sleep-Her
Hopes and Mine-Alone in the Night-A Mysterious "Presence"-" "I
Plainly Saw Carrie Leaning Over  Me"-The Wedding-Ring-" The
' Presence' in the Room was Gone"-Troubled about the Ring-Beside
the Coffin of my Dead Friend-I Place the Ring on her Finger-My Hus band's Gift for Carrie-'' He Considered it was only a Dream"-Waiting
for the Event-The Saddest Day of my Life-My Husband's Second Mar riage-I Give Away the Bride!-Fulfilling my Promise-I am Married to
my Ihusband for Carrie-Brigham's Decree: The Claims of the Living
and the Dead-Married for Eternity-The Bride and Bridegroom-After
the Wedding-Loneliness and Grief-A Night of Darkness and Sorrow-  446
xxv
420 
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER XXXIII.
DOMESTIC ARRANGEMENTS OF THE SAINTS:-POLYGAMY FROM A WOMAN'$
STANDPOINT.
A First Wife's Experience in Polygamy-" Getting Used to It"-The Doings
and Devices of Polygamic Wives-How Mormon Men Deceive and are
Deceived-Feminine Drill-Sergeants-The Ladies who Advocate Poly gamy!-A Present for Brother Brigham-Getting up a Petition-How
Signatures are Procured-Inscribing the Names of the Dead as Voters Cruel Efforts of Hopeless Women-A Mormon Idea of a Husband's
Duty-The Domestic Arrangements of the Saints-A Man with Six
Wives-How he Divides his Time-A Crafty Proceeding-The Reward
of Generosity-Primitive Habitations-Polygamy in the Rough-The
Discarded Wife in the Wagon-Box —"Build up the Kingdom!"-Four
Wives and their Children in One Room-Advantages of a Large House Wealthy Polygamists-Married to Two Sisters-Marrying a Step-Daugh ter-Managing a Husband-The Influence of Good Cookery-Wives in
Various Settlements-The Case Reversed: A Picture.                 -.  459
CHAPTER XXXIV.
LIGHTS AND SHADOWS OF POLYGAMY:-MARRIAGE AND BAPTISM FOR THE
DEAD.
Domestic Difficulties-Husband and Lover-How Brother Brigham Treats
His Wives-Polygamy in Poverty-Obedience the Crowning Virtue How Women Feel and Act in Polygamy-A First Wife's Trials-The
Young Second Wife-Home Life in Polygamy-The Husband Displays
His "Jewels"-Our Worldy Prosperity-The First Daily Paper in Utah
-Whisperings of Murder-Not in the Confidence of "The Church" Brigham's Inconsistencies-Mr. Stenhouse Refuses a Contract-How
Brother Brigham "Jumps at an Offer"-How He Makes His Money-I
Remind My Husband of Certain Things-Another Visit from My Talka tive Friend-Baptism for the Dead-Baptized for Queen Anne-A Strange
Description of Paradise-Napoleon and Washington Mormon Elders Queen Elizabeth Enters into Polygamy-Becoming Proxy for Henry VIII.
-The Wife of the Thief on the Cross-Waiting for Queen Fanny!    - 474
CHAPTER XXXV.
FESTIVITIES AND SOCIAL GATHERINGS OF THE SAINTS -THE PROPHET'S
WHISKEY SHOP AND DRY-GOODS STORE.
An Absent Husband's "Kingdom"-A Suggestion-A Pleasant Time for a
Wife-" The Old Woman is Full of the Devil"-What I heard at the Pic
xxvi 
CONTENTS.
Nics-A "Bishop" and his Four Wives-Quite a Spectacle:-Th
"' Woman in White!"-The "Peg" that "God Made for Brigham's Hat
-Dancing among the Saints-How Balls and Social Parties are Conducte
-A Man Disgraced byfollowing his Wife-Sad Fate of a Swedish LadyLife in a "Dug-Out"-Another Phase of Celestial Marriage!-A Wronge
Wife who Poisoned Herself-An Apostle's Five Wives!-Doing a Kind
ness for a Dead Uncle-Marrying four Wives on the Same Day-Th
Fish Brought in by Brother Brigham's Net-A Slumbering ConscienceThe Prophet's Theatre-The "Word of Wisdom"-Brigham Young
Whiskey-making Establishment-The "Revelation" and the Five-Gallo
Keg-Why Brigham Sells Bad Whiskey-The Dry-Goods Store of "th
Prophet of the Lord."                                               4
CHAPTER XXXVI.
MY DAUGHTER BECOMES THE FOURTH WIFE OF BRIGHAM YOUNG'S SON                     THE SECOND ENDOWMENTS.
Learning More of the Inner Life-The Mistakes of Newspaper Correspond ents in Utah-Looking through Mormon Spectacles-Kept in the Dark The Second Wife Begins Housekeeping-Getting Rid of Her!-My
Clara's  Lover-Joseph A. Young-The  Engagement-Waiting  for
"Something" to Turn Up-Asking Permission to Go East-How Mor mon Girls are Deceived and Deceive Themselves-Brother Brigham
"Counsels" Brother Stenhouse-The Wedding Day Fixed-The Marriage
Ceremony in the Endowment-House-Brother Brigham Officiates-Mar  ried for Time and for All Eternity-The Fourth Wife of a Polygamist  A Mother's Sorrow-We Receive our Second Endowments-" Our" Hus  band Anointed King and Priest-Belinda and Myself made Queens and
Priestesses-A Little Stranger: The Second Wife's Baby-" The Conclu  sion of the Whole Matter.".....506
CHAPTER XXXVII.
REALITIES OF POLYGAMIC LIFE:-ORSON PRATT: THE STORY OF HIS YOUNG
ENGLISH WIFE.
Peculiar Position of Plural Wives-The-Troubles of a Pretty Young Welsh
Girl-The Story of Orson Pratt and His Young Wife-The "Champion
of Polygamy"-The Wife of an Apostle-Leaving a Mother and her
Babes to Starve-The Neglected Wife-Destitute and Forsaken-At tacked by Fever-The Wretched Wife Loses her Senses-She Wanders
Forth Upon the Prairie with her Babes-The Good Deeds of Brother Kel sey and his Wife-They Clothe and Feed the Poor Wife-The "Philos opher" and his dying Wife-He Takes Matters Comfortably-" It is Too
Late, Orson; Too Late!" Another Victim to Polygamy-How a Wifeb
I xxvii
- 493 
Rocking-chair was Stolen-How a Good Brother Whipped His Little
Wife-Whence Come the Elders' Wives-Dupes from the Old World"Gone East!"-His other " Iome"-The Advent of Three Little Babies
-Why I Blame those Men.        --. -. <...        -.519
CHAPTER XXXVIII.
" OUR" HUSBAND'S FIANCEE-A SECOND WIFE'S SORROWS-STEPS TOWARDS
APOSTACY.
A Little Misapprehension-My Husband's Kingdom-The chosen Maiden
-The Prophet's daughter, Zina-Reviewing a Lady-Love-A Strange
Consultation-The Accepted Lover-Love of no Ordinary Kind-" Some thing very Beautiful"-" He Never Loved Before"-Progressive Affection
-Why Zina Pitied Us'-" Our Husband!"-Sorrows of a Second Wife:
Belinda in Trouble-A Pleasant "Duty!"-The Flirting in the Prophet's
Parlor-Wavering Faith-The "Revelation" Criticised-Homceopathic
Religion-The Book of Mormon condemns Polygamy!-A very Question able "Prophet"-Belinda's Bereavement-Accused of Favoring the Gen tiles-Lover's Quarrels-A Long Courtship-" If One Girl Won't Another
Will!"-Steps Towards Apostacy. -...535
CHAPTER XXXIX.
SOME CURIOUS COURTSHIPS-BRIGHAM RUINS OUR FORTUNES-BELINDA
DIVORCES "OUR" HUSBAND.
Some Curious Courtships-" The Nicest ole'oman in the Country!"-" Be spoke" Wives-Marrying in Haste-A Woman with Nine Husbands
-A Difficult Question-The Autocrat of Utah-Reminding a Husband Accused of Favoring the Gentiles-The "Subjugation of Women" The Daily Telegraph in Trouble-Removing to Ogden-Brigham Young
Resolves to Ruin Us —A Crafty Prophet-The Ruin of Our Fortunes "It Makes Me a Free Man!"-"Our" Husband's Divorce-" Take
Care of That Paper "-Inside the Prophet's Office-Signing the Docu ment-A Curious Bill of Divorce-Belinda-Forming a Resolution-A
'Sacrifice Worth Making. -   -....-548
CHAPTER XL.
MARY BURTON-LIFE'S JOURNEY ENDED: REST AT LAST.
Sent for in Haste-" Sister Mary had Taken Poison "-Mary's Troubles Elder Shrewsbury's Wives-Removing to Salt Lake City-Domestic Life
xxviii
CONTENTS. 
CONTENTS.
without Love-A Wife's Despair-A Divided Household-Seeking Sympathy-The forsaken Wife-The change which Polygamy produced in a
Husband-Comforting a heartbroken Wife-Dark Thoughts-Waiting
for the End-Mary attempts to destroy Herself-A Painful StoryHeartless conduct of Elder Shrewsbury-A Wife's Curse-Shadows of
the Night-Broken-Hearted-The Little Medicine Chest-A fatal Potion
-Elder Shrewsbury visits his dying Wife-" What a Curse was there 1"
-With my dying Friend-Life's Journey Ended-Rest at last.  - 56I
CHAPTER XLI.
MY HUSBAND DISFELLOWSHIPPED-WE APOSTATISE-BRUTAL OUTRAGE UPON
MY HUSBAND AND MYSELF.
A Crisis-Effects of Superstition and Blind Obedience-Questioning Bi-other
Brigham's Authority-The Faithful are "Counselled" Against My lius band-The School of the Prophets-Arbitrary Measures-My Hlusband
is Disfellowshipped-"I Will Be Free! "-The  Breaking of Bonds The Day of Liberty-Asking to be "Cut Off" from the Church-A
Brutal Outrage Upon My Husband and Myself-The Secret Police-Who
Were the Guilty?-How the Bodies of Murdered Men are "Discovered!"
-The Fate of Apostates-Carrying Out the Teachings of Brigham  Who Otg',ht to be Blamed- What an Ill-Treated Wife Told Me-Brig ham's Explanation-lie Accuses Belinda's Brothers-flow Crimes Are
Explained Away-Why Brigham Withdrew an Offered Reward-What
People Dared Not Say..........
CHAPTER XLII.
AMUSING TROUBLES OF MY TALKATIVE FRIENDCHARLOTTE WITH THE
GOLDEN HAIR!
Another Visit from my Talkative Friend-A preliminary Fuss-" The pir ture of Despair? "-He did it on Purpose-" That little Shrimp of a
Girl"-Her red hair: "Charlotte's hair is Golden!"-A Little Hasty! An Object of Interest-" My husband is a Man"-" You can't calculate
a Man "-A nice Question of Privilege-Rather too much to Manage A nice Young Woman of Thirty-Five or so!-Stout in Proportion-Old
enough to be his Grandmother, and Squinted-Getting used to a pro posed Bride-Watching a Truant Husband-Not the least Jealous?-A
curious kind of Church-Meeting'!-Keeping up his Dignity-" Enjoying
themselves  without  mze! "-A  little  " Unpleasantness "-Charlotte's
Scratched Face-She didn't like such "Accidents"-" My Henry and
that Girl! "-Millinery and Prayers-Bringing a Husband to Reason Wife against Wife-Too busy to Apostatise..   *.585
xxix
5,76 
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER XLIII.
AFTER WE LEFT THE CHURCH-INTERESTING FACTS AND FIGURES-THE
MORMONISM AND MORMONS OF TO-DAY.
After We Left the Church-Beginning Life Afresh-The Coldness of Our
Former Friends-Disposing of the Daily Telegraph-How Fuller Flour ished: Ran a Paper and Ran Away-Our New Position-My Husband
Goes East-Effects of the  "New Movement "-" Zion's Co-operative
Mercantile Institution"-Brigham's Store-" Country-folks Seeking After
a Sign "-An Old Lady's Stock in the "Coop "-A Pound and a half of
Nails!-The "Order of Enoch "-The Crowning Swindle!-The Very
Vilest Slavery of All-How Reporters and Visitors are Fooled by Brig ham-The Ladies' Petitions-Legalising the Marriage of Children! The Franchise Conferred on Mormon Women-How Unanimously they
Vote!-The Ballot Farce in Utah-How  they Allowed the Mules to
Vote!-Finery versus Faith-The Position in Utah To-day-The Apostacy
of Brother Brigham's Son-Some Singular Statistics-Undoing the Past.  598
L'ENVOI.
xxx
6I8 
CHAPTER I.
MY EARLY LIFE.
The Memory of my Youthful Days-Early Religious Impressions-I become a
Church-Member-My Pious Admirer-A brief Homily on Feminine Vanities
-My first Start in Life-Faithful Counsels of a Friend-Life in a French
School-The Maison-Martin-Preparing my Lessons-Objecting to a Prot estant-" Assisting" at Service-My Ghostly Adviser-The "instructions"
of a Handsome Young Priest-Flirtation and Apostolic Succession-The Blind
Leading the Blind-The Scene of Labor Changed-Domestic life at St. Brieux An indifferent Young Gentleman-The Presence of an "Icicle "-Quiet Atten tions to "Mademoiselle-Miss "-The Man who waits Wins-My Affianced
Lover-Reasons why a French girl Marries-Views of Marriage among the
French-Traces of Early Teachings-Mental Struggles and Doubts-I Resolve
to Visit England-The Crisis of my Life.
THE  story which I propose to tell in these pages is a
plain, unexaggerated record of facts which have come
immediately under my own notice, or which I have myself
personally experienced.
Much that to the reader may seem altogether incredible,
would to a Mormon mind appear simply a matter of ordinary
every-day occurrence with which everyone in Utah is supposed to be perfectly familiar. The reader must please remember that I am not telling-as so many writers have told in
newspaper correspondence and sensational stonries-the hasty
and incorrect statements and opinions gleaned during a short
visit to Salt Lake City; but my own experience-the story of
a faith, strange, wild, and terrible it may be, but which was
once so intimately enwoven with all my associations that it
became a part of my very existence itself; and facts, the too
true reality of which there are living witnesses by hundreds
and even thousands who could attest if only they would. 
DAYS OF CHILDHOOD.
With the reader's permission I shall briefly sketch my
experience from the very beginning.
I was born in the year I829, in St. Heliers, Jersey-one of
the islands of the English Channel.
From my earliest recollection I was favorably disposed to
religious influences, and when only fourteen years of age I
became a member of the Baptist Church, of which my father
and mother were also members. With the simplicity and
enthusiasm of youth I was devoted to the religious faith of
the denomination to which I had attached myself, and sought
to live in a manner which should be acceptable to God.
My childhood passed away without the occurrence of any
events which would be worthy of mention, although, of course,
my mind was even then receiving that religious bias which
afterwards led me to adopt the faith of the Latter-day Saints.
Like most girls in their teens I had a natural love of dressa weakness, if such it be, of the sex generally. I was not
extravagant, for that I could not be; but thirty years ago
members of dissenting churches were more staid in their
dress and demeanor and were less of the world, I think, than
they are to-day. In plainness of dress the Methodists and
Baptists much resembled the Quakers. My girlish weakness
caused me to be the subject of many a reprimand from older
church-members, who were rather strict in their views. I
well remember one smooth-faced, pious, corpulent brother
who was old enough to be my father, saying to me one day:
"My dear young sister, were it not for your love of dress, I
have seriously thought that I would some day make you my
wife." I wickedly resolved that if a few bright colored ribbons would disgust my pious admirer, it should not be my
fault if he still continued to think of me. But many of our
other church-members were more lenient. Our good minister
in particular bore with my childish imperfections, as he said, on
account of my youth and inexperience; and later still, when I
was ready to leave my native island, an extra ribbon or a
fashionable dress had not affected my standing in the Baptist
denomination.
32 
MY LIFE IN FRANCE.
I mention these trifles, not because I attach any importance to them in themselves, but because similar religious
tendencies and a devotional feeling were almost universally
found to be the causes which induced men and women to join
the Mormon Church. From among Roman Catholics, who
place unquestioning confidence in their priesthood, and also
from among persons predisposed to infidelity, came few, if
any, converts to Mormonism. But it was from among the
religiously inclined-the Evangelical Protestants of the Old
World that the greater number of proselytes came.
But to return to my story. I was one of the younger members of a large family; and when I thought of the future I
readily saw that if I desired a position in life I should have to
make it for myself; and this I resolved to do.  I began by
consulting all my friends who I thought would be able to
counsel or assist me in carrying out my determination; and
before long I found the opportunity which I sought. An
English lady, the wife of a captain in the British army, to
whom I had confided my aspirations, proposed-although I
was not yet fifteen years of age-to take me with her to
France, in the temporary capacity of governess to her children, assuring me at the same time that she would advance
my interests in every possible way after our arrival.
This lady and her husband were as kind to me as my own
parents could have been; and soon after our arrival in France
they procured for me a situation in one of the best schools in
St. Brieux, called the Maison-Martin, where, young as I was, I
engaged myself to teach the young ladies fancy-needlework and
embroidery, as well as to give lessons in English. Some of
the elder girls, I soon found, were further advanced in fancyneedlework and some other matters than I was myself. This,
of course, I did not tell them; but to supply my deficiency I
spent many a midnight hour in study and in preparing myself
to give the advanced instructions which would be required by
my pupils on the following day. For some time after I began
my work as teacher in that school, I spent the whole of my
salary in paying for private lessons to keep me in advance of
3
33 
" INSTRUCTING " A PROTESTANT.
my pupils.  It was for awhile a severe task and a strain upon
my youthful energies; but I have never since regretted it, as
it gave an impulse to my mind that has remained with me
through life.
I had not been more than six months in my situation when
the parents of one of the pupils objected to the school retaining a Protestant teacher, and I was consequently given to
understand that unless I consented to be instructed, if nothing
more, in the Roman Catholic faith, I could not remain in my
present position. This was my first experience of that religious intolerance of which I afterwards saw so much. The
principal of the establishment, however, being very kindly
disposed towards me, advised me to submit, and it was finally
agreed that I should be allowed twelve months for instruction
and consideration.
During this probationary year I attended mass every
morning from seven to eight o'clock, and was present at
vespers at least three times a week. Every Saturday morning I accompanied my pupils to the confessional, where I had
to remain from seven o'clock till noon; after which we
returned to breakfast. On Sundays there was the usual
morning mass, and after that high mass; and in the afternoon,
from two to four, we listened to a sermon. In addition to all
these services, at which I was expected to "assist," a very
good-looking, interesting young priest was appointed to attend
to the spiritual instruction of the young Protestant, as they
called me, after school hours. Hie saw me frequently, but he
was ill-qualified to instruct me in the Catholic faith or to
remove my doubts, for he was not himself too happy in the
sacerdotal robe. At first he aimed at convincing me that the
apostolic priesthood vested in the Fishermen of Galilee had
descended in unbroken succession in the Church of Rome;
but he seemed to me much more inclined for a flirtation than
for argument; I thought I could at times discover something
of regret on his own part at having taken holy orders; and in
after years I heard that he had abandoned his profession.
To the numerous stories of Catholic oppression and arti
34 
MY NEW  POSITION.
fice in undermining Protestants and seducing them from their
faith, I cannot add my own testimony. Those among whom
I lived very naturally desired that I should be instructed in
their religion and join the church to which they belonged;
but their bearing towards me was ever kind and respectful;
although when the twelve months of probation had expired,
I found myself as much attached to the religion of my childhood as ever, and had in consequence to resign my situation. I had made many warm friends in the school, and none
were kinder to me than the principal, who proved her attachment by finding for me a lucrative situation in a wealthy
private family.
My new position was a decided advance in social life. The
family consisted of husband and wife, two children, the husband's brother, and an elderly uncle. The husband was a
wealthy commoner. The lady by birth was of the noblesse,
but poor. The guardians of the titled lady had formed a matrimonial alliance for her by advertisement, and, fortunately
for them, when the husband and wife first saw each other,
they loved-an experience not too common in France. The
fruits of this marriage were happiness and two sweet little
girls, who were, when I first knew them, of the ages of five
and seven years respectively. The young gentleman alluded
to-the husband's brother-had been educated for the church,
but when the proper time came had refused to take orders;
the uncle was a fine old gentleman, a retired general in the
French army and a bachelor. Altogether they formed as
happy a domestic circle as I had ever known. The position
which I occupied among them was that of governess and
English teacher to the two little girls.
My young charges during the first year made rapid progress, which was very gratifying to the family and secured for
me their good-will and interest. Had I been their nearest
relative I could not have received more respect and consideration from them. One member of the circle alone seemed to
be entirely indifferent to my presence; this was the brother
of Monsieur De Bosque. Though I had lived in the same
35 
36       A PRESENT FOR "MADEMOISELLE-MISS."
house with him a whole year, and had sat at the same table
every day, scarcely a word had ever passed between us beyond
a formal salutation.
The young gentleman was very handsome, and when conversing with others his manner was extremely fascinating. I
did not believe that I particularly desired his attentions, but
his indifference annoyed me-for I had never before been
treated with such coldness, and I determined to become as
frigid and formal as he could possibly be himself. This formal acquaintanceship continued for two years, and I persuaded myself that I had become altogether indifferent to the
presence of my icicle, while at the same time all the other
members of the family increased in their manifestations of
attachment to me.
But trifles often possess a great significance. It was the
custom of the family to get up a little lottery once a week for
the children, if my report of their deportment and progress
was favorable. In this lottery were presents of books, toys,
gloves, and a variety of fancy articles, and among them there
was sure to be a bouquet of choice flowers for "MademoiselleMiss," as they familiarly called me. I knew not positively
whom to thank, although I instinctively felt from whom they
came, for the other members of the family always made me
more useful presents. In time one little attention led to
another, until at the end of three years I found myself the
fiance of the wealthy Constant De Bosque.  Then-or rather
shortly before-he avowed that he had been silently watching
me all those years.
Madame De Bosque was opposed to my marriage with her
brother-in-law, as she desired that he should marry one of her
own wealthy cousins of the old noblesse of France. She
treated me, notwithstanding, with great kindness and confined
her opposition to persuading me not to listen to her brother's
suit; but finding opposition to his wishes ineffectual, she
finally consented to our engagement, which took place in the
following winter.
From what I observed of the relations which existed be 
ENGAGED.
tween husbands and wives in France, I did not feel perfectly
happy in the thought of becomihg the wife of a Frenchman,
although I dearly loved the French people. Several of my
young lady acquaintances, I knew, had married because it was
fashionable, and especially because it was an emancipation
from what ladies in the higher ranks of society regarded as a
severe social restraint. It was considered shocking for any
young lady to be seen talking to a young gentleman in the
street; indeed it was hardly proper for any unmarried girl to
be seen in the street at all without a bonne or some married
lady to accompany her. But immediately she was married
she was at liberty to flirt and promenade with all the gentlemen of her acquaintance, while her husband enjoyed the
same liberty among the ladies. This state of affairs did not
at all coincide with my English ideas, for to me the very
thought of marriage was invested with the most sacred obligations, and I knew I should never be able to bring my mind
to accept less from my husband than I should feel it my duty
to render to him.
I loved the French people, and was pleased with their polite
mannerism, but I was not French in character; and though
the prospect before me of an alliance with a wealthy and
noble family was certainly pleasant, and I was greatly attached
to my fiancee, my mind was considerably agitated upon the subject of marriage, as it had before been occupied with religion.
During my sojourn in France I had frequently questioned
myself whether I had not done wrong in remaining absent for
so many years from my home and from communion with the
church of my childhood, and I had always looked forward to
the time when I should return to them again. To this occasional self-examination was now added another cause of anxiety, produced by the thought of marriage with a person of a
different faith. Marriage, to me, was the all-important event
in a woman's life, and some mysterious presentiment seemed
to forewarn me that marriage in my life was to be more than
an ordinary episode-though little did I then dream that it
would have a polygamic shaping.
3? 
THE FINGER OF DESTINY DRAWS ME ON.
My young ambition alone had led me to France. I had
aspired to an honorable social position, and had found both it
and also devoted friends. Sometimes I felt that I could not
relinquish what I had gained; at other times I yearned for
the associations of my childhood and the guiding hand of
earlier friends.  The conflict in my mind was often painful.
My early prejudices and the teachings of those around me
induced me to believe that the Roman Catholic religion was
entirely wrong; yet, notwithstanding, while living among
Catholics I saw nothing to condemn in their personal lives,
but much to the contrary. In fact, Romanism fascinated me,
while it failed to convince my judgment.
While laboring under these conflicting sentiments, I resolved to visit my native land, to consult with my parents
about my contemplated marriage; and for that purpose I
asked and obtained two months' vacation. Surely some mysterious destiny must have been drawing me to England at
that particular crisis, and before the fulfilling of my engagement, which would have changed so entirely the whole current of my existence.
38 
CHAPTER II.
MY FIRST INTRODUCTION TO MORMONISM.
Returning Home-" Au Revoir"-A visit to Jersey-The Home of my Child hood-My First Introduction to Mormonism-An "Apostate's" View of the
Saints-Revelation and Roguery-A Matter of Personal Interest-A Lady's
Logic-A Warning against the New Religion-First Visit to a Mormon Meet ing-Catching the "Mormon Fever "-Snubbing an Elder-A Polite Saint Fighting a Delusion-Among Dear Friends-" Full of the Spirit"-Religion
in Practical Life-Preparing Comforts for the Missionary Elders-Emotional
Religion-The Testimony of the Spirit-Sunday Service among the Saints Contagious Enthusiasm-The Story of a Too-confiding Convert-How He
Went out to Zion-Terrible Fate of an Apostate-Killed by "the Indians "
Preaching under Difficulties-My First Introduction to my Future Husband "The Other Daughter from France "-The Eloquence of Elder Stenhouse Creating an Impression-A Memorable Era in My Life.
URING my residence in France, my parents had left St.
Heliers and returned to Southampton, England. To
visit them now I had to take a sailing vessel from Portrieux
to the Isle of Jersey, and thence I could take the steamer to
Southampton.
Monsieur and Madame De Bosque, together with the two
little girls, accompanied me in their private carriage to Portrieux, a distance of forty miles, in order to confide me safely
to the captain's care.  As they wished me "bon voyage" and
embraced me affectionately, Mons. De Bosque handed me a
valuable purse for pocket-money during my absence, and they
all exhibited great anxiety for my welfare, saying over and
over again au revoir, as they entered their carriage to return
to their happy home;-thereby implying that this was not a
final adieu, but that we should soon meet again.
I cannot tell why it was, but I experienced at that moment a
painful feeling of mental indecision about the future. I had no 
40       THE MEMORY OF CHILDHOOD S HOURS.
real reason to doubt my return to France and the certainty of a
warm welcome when I should again greet those dear ones who
were now leaving me in tears; but my mind was troubled by
a vague feeling of uncertainty which made me anything but
happy. Filial affection and a sense of duty drew me towards
my parents in England; while a feeling of gratitude, and, I
think, another and more tender sentiment, turned the current
of my thoughts towards the happy home at St. Brieux.
It was not necessary for me to stop in Jersey for more than
a few hours, but I wanted to revisit the scenes of my childhood's happy days and to speak again with those whom I had
known and loved in early life. In later years the scenes and
memories of childhood seem like the imaginings of a pleasant
dream. A sweet charm is thrown around all that we then
said and did; and the men and women who then were known
to us are pictured in our recollection as beings possessing
charms and graces such as never belonged to the commonplace children of earth. The glamour of a fairy wand is over
all the past history of mankind; but upon nothing does it
cast so potent a spell as upon the personal reminiscences of
our own infant years. To me that little island had charms
which no stranger could ever have discovered; and even now
after the lapse of so many long, eventful years I often feel an
earnest wish to visit again those rock-bound shores, to listen
to the everlasting murmur of the wild, wild waves, to watch
the distant speck-like vessels far away upon the swelling
ocean, and to drink in the invigorating breezes which seem to
give life and energy to every pulsation of the living soul.
But I must not theorise: life has been to me too earnest
and too painful to admit of much sentiment or fancy as I recall the past. Little as I thought it, during the short visit
which I paid to my birthplace, the web of destiny was being
woven for me in a way which I could not then have conjectured even in a dream.
At St. Heliers I heard for the first time of the Latter-day
Saints, or Mormonites, as they were more familiarly called;
but I cannot express how perfectly astonished I was when I 
SERVANTS OF THE EVIL ONE.
learned that my father, mother, sisters, and one of my brothers nad been converted to the new faith.
It was my own brother-in-law who told me this. He himself, with my sister, were "Apostate" Mormons.  They had
been baptized into the Mormon Church, but became dissatisfied and abandoned it. The St. Heliers' branch of the Latterday Saints had had a turbulent experience. Their first teachings had been a mixture of Bible texts about the last days,
and arguments about the millennium, the return of the Jews
to Palestine, the resurrection of the dead, and a new revelation and a new prophet; but the improper conduct of some
of the elders had disgusted the people with their doctrines,
and the tales of wickedness which I heard were, if true,
certainly sufficient to justify them in rejecting such instructors.
The more I heard of this strange religion the more I was
troubled; yet, as I knew my parents were devoted Christians,
I could hardly believe that Mormonism was such a vile delusion and imposture as it had been represented to me, or they
would never have accepted it: still it was possible that they
had been led astray by the fascinations of a new religion.
In this state of mind I met in the street the wife of the
Baptist minister  whom  I have already  mentioned.   She
greeted me affectionately and then began at once to warn me
against the Latter-day Saints. I enquired what she knew of
them, and she replied that personally she knew nothing, but
she believed them to be servants of the Evil One, adding,
"There is a strange power with them that fascinates the people and draws them into their meshes in spite of themselves.
Let me entreat you not to go near them.   Do  not trust
yourself at one of their meetings, or the delusion will take
hold of you too."
"I cannot ignore Mormonism in this way," I said, "or pass
it by with indifference, for my parents whom I tenderly love
have been blinded by this delusion, and I can do no less than
investigate its teachings thoroughly, and expose its errors, and,
if possible, save my father's family from ruin."
4I 
CATCHING THE MORMON FEVER.
She was not convinced that this was the wisest course for
me to pursue, but I resolved at once to attend a meeting of
the Saints and judge for myself. My brother-in-law, when he
heard of my intentions, tried to dissuade me, but, finding
me determined, finally offered to escort me to the meetingplace.
What I heard on this occasion made a great impression on
my mind, and set me thinking as I had never thought before.
On returning to my sister's house she asked me what opinion I
had now formed of the Latter-day Saints. I replied that I had
not yet formed any conclusion, but that what I had heard had
given me serious cause for reflection.  "Oh," she said, " You
have caught the Mormon fever, I see."
I felt a disposition to resent this implication, but I was half
afraid that, after all, my sister was right. Much that I had
heard could, I knew, be proved true from Scripture; and the
rest seemed to me to be capable of demonstration from the
same authority.   I resolved,  however,  to  fortify  myself
against a too easy credulity, and thought that probably if
I heard more of these doctrines I might be able to discover
their falsity.
On the following day, the elder who had preached at the
meeting, and who, by the way, is one of the present proprietors of the Salt Lake Herald, called to see me, as he had
been intimate with my parents before they left the island. I
hardly knew how to be civil to him, though he had done nothing to offend me, nor had he been the cause of my parents
entering the Mormon Church; but I disliked him solely on
account of the stories which I had heard about the Mormons.
Intending only to be kind to me, he told me that on the following day he proposed to take the steamer for Southampton,
as he was going to attend a conference of the Saints in London, and that he should be pleased to shew me any attentions
while crossing the Channel, and would see me safe home in
:England. I confess I really felt insulted at a Mormon Elder
offering to be my escort; and although my trunks were
ready packed for my departure by the same steamer, and Mr.
42 
AFRAID TO TRUST MYSELF.
Dunbar knew it, I thanked him politely but said I would not
go by that boat. He tried to -persuade me to change my
mind and said that I should have to wait a whole week for another vessel; and at last I frankly told him the abhorrence I
felt at the things I had heard about the Mormons, and that I
should be afraid to travel in the same steamer with him or any
of the Mormon Elders who I regarded as no better than so
many whited sepulchres. He, however, very kindly took no
offence for he knew that I had been listening to those who
disliked the Saints. I felt ashamed at having been betrayed
into such unladylike rudeness, but, notwithstanding, tried to
persuade myself that his civility was, after all, an insult; for I
had conceived a detestation of every Mormon, on account of the
deception which I felt sure had been practiced upon my family.
This feeling was not lessened by the consciousness that an
impression had been made upon my own mind. The more in
accordance with Scripture the teaching of the Elders appeared,
the more firmly I believed it must be a powerful delusion.
Here, I said, Satan has indeed taken the form of an angel of
light to deceive, if possible, the very elect.
Elder Dunbar finding me unyielding, left by the next
steamer and had a pleasant passage across the Channel, and I
remained on the island another week. During that interval
my mind was haunted with what I had heard of this new gospel dispensation, as it was called. That angels had again
descended from heaven to teach men upon earth; that a prophet had been raised up to speak again the mind of the Lord
to the children of men; that the Saints were partakers of the
gifts of the Spirit, as in the Early Christian Church,-all these
assumed facts took the form of reality, and came back into
my mind with greater force every time I strove to drive them
away; just as our thoughts do when we desire to sleep, and
cannot-our very efforts to dismiss them bring them back
with greater force to torment us.
We had an unusually bad passage across the Channel,
which annoyed me all the more when I remembered my
scornful refusal to go in the same boat with Elder Dunbar.
43
k,
l1 
44.  THE FULNESS OF THE EVERLASTING GOSPEL.
On my arrival in Southampton I soon discovered that my
father, mother, and sisters were full of the spirit of Mormonism. They were rejoicing in it, ardently believing that it
was the fulness of the everlasting gospel, as the elders styled
it; and whatever I might think of the new religion I was
forced to confess that it brought into my father's house peace,
love, kindness, and charity such as were seldom seen in many
households of religious people. My sisters were completely
changed in their manner of life. They cared nothing for the
amusements which girls of their age usually crave and enjoy.
Their whole thoughts seemed to be occupied with the Church,
attending the meetings of the saints, and employing every
leisure hour in preparing comforts for the Elders who were
travelling and preaching without purse and scrip. And in all
this they were as happy as children.
Of my parents I might say the same. My dear mother rejoiced in the belief that she had been peculiarly blessed in
being privileged to live at a time when "the last dispensation" was revealed; and my father, though an invalid, rejoiced
that he had entered into the kingdom by baptism. Such was
the condition of my father's house; and who can wonder that,
accustomed as I was to listen with respect to the opinions of
my parents, I was more than ever troubled about the new religion which they had adopted.
The first Sunday morning that I was in England, my
parents asked me to accompany them to meeting, and I readily complied, as I wanted to hear more of the strange doctrines which in some mysterious way had made our family so
happy, but which in other quarters had provoked such bitter"
hostility. I know now that this joyousness of heart is not
peculiar to new converts to Mormonism, but may be found
among the newly-converted of every sect which allows the
emotional feelings to come into play. To me, at the time,
however, it was a mystery, but I must confess that the change
which had taken place in those nearest and dearest to me,
affecting me personally, and being so evidently in accordance
with the teachings of the Saviour, led me to regard Mormon 
' ZION'S STANDARD IS UNFURLED."
ism with less antipathy. The bright side alone of the new
faith was presented to the world abroad; we had yet to go to
Utah and witness the effects of Brigham Young's teachings
at home before we could know what Mormonism really was.
I shall never forget the trial it was to my pride to enter the
dirty, mean-looking room where the Saints assembled at that
time. No one would rent a respectable hall to them, and they
were glad to obtain the use of any place which was large
enough for their meetings. On the present occasion there
was a very fair gathering of people, who had come together
influenced by the most varied motives. The Presiding Elder
-I should here remark that the word "Elder" has among the
Mormons no reference whatever to age, but is simply a rank
in the priesthood-called the meeting to order, and read the
following hymn:
The morning breaks, the shadows flee;
Lo! Zion's standard is unfurled!
The dawning of a brighter day
Majestic rises on the world.
The clouds of error disappear
Before the rays of truth divine;
The glory bursting from afar,
Wide o'er the nations soon will shine!
The Gentile fulness now comes in,
And Israel's blessings are at hand;
Lo! Judah's remnant, cleansed from sin,
Shall in the promised Canaan stand.
Angels from heaven and truth from earth
Have met, and both have record borne;
Thus Zion's light is bursting forth
To bring her ransomed children home.
Every word of this hymn had a meaning peculiar to itself,
relating to the distinctive doctrines of the Saints. The congregation sang with an energy and enthusiasm which made
the room shake again. Self and the outer world were alike
forgotten, and an ecstacy of rapture seemed to possess the
45 
THE MISSION OF ELDER STENHOUSE.
souls of all present. Then all kneeled down, and prayer was
offered for the Prophet, the apostles, high-priests, "seventies," elders, priests, teachers, and deacons; blessings were
invoked upon the Saints, and power to convert the Gentiles;
and as the earnest words of supplication left the speaker's
lips, the congregation shouted a loud "Amen."
There was no prepared sermon. There never is at a Mormon meeting. The people are taught that the Holy Ghost is
"mouth, matter, and wisdom."  Whatever the preaching elder
may say is supposed to come directly by inspiration from
heaven, and the Saints listening, as they believe, not to his
utterances but to the words of God Himself, have nothing to
do but to hear and obey.
The first speaker on this occasion was a young gentleman
of respectable family, who had been recently baptized and
ordained. He, too, was from St. Heliers, and I had known
him from childhood. His address impressed me very much.
He had been a member of the Baptist church, and he related
his experience, told how often he had wondered why there
were not inspired men to preach the glad tidings of salvation
to the world to-day, as there were eighteen centuries ago.
He spoke of the joy which he had experienced in being baptized into the Mormon Church and realising that he had
received the "gift of the Holy Ghost."  The simplicity with
which he spoke, his evident honesty, and the sacrifice he had
made in leaving the respectable Baptists and joining the
despised Mormons, were, I thought, so many evidences of his
sincerity.
Alas! how little could that young preacher conjecture how
different the practical Mormonism in Utah was from the
theoretical Mormonism which he had learned to believe in
Europe, before polygamy was known among the Saints. A
short time afterwards he gave up his business, married an
accomplished young lady, and went with her to Salt Lake
City. There they were soon utterly disgusted with what they
witnessed, apostatized, and set out for England. When they
had gone three-fourths of their way back to the Missouri
46 
"A CERTAIN ELDER."
river, the young man, his wife, child, and another apostate
and his wife, were killed by "Indians:"-such, at least, was
the report; but dissenting Mormons have always charged
their "taking off" to the order of the leaders of the Mormon
Church.
But to return to the meeting. The reader must please forgive me if I dwell a little upon the events of that particular
morning, for naturally they made a deep impression upon my
own mind-it was there that I saw for the first time my hus
band who was to be.
I had heard a good deal about a certain elder, from my family and from the Saints who visited at our house. They spoke
with great enthusiasm of the earnestness with which he
preached, of the influence which his addresses produced, and
of his confidence in the final triumph of "the kingdom."
At that time-the summer of 1849-although the branch
of the Mormon Church in Britain was in a most flourishing
condition, there were not in England more than two or three
American elders preaching the faith, for when-two years
before the period of which I speak-the Saints left Nauvoo
and undertook that most extraordinary exodus across the
plains to the Rocky Mountains, the missionary elders were all
called home, and the work of proselytizing in Europe was left
entirely to the native elders. To direct their labors there was
placed over them an American elder named Orson Spencer, a
graduate of Dartmouth University, a scholar and a gentleman-a man well calculated from his previous Christian
education to give an elevated tone to the teachings of the
young English missionaries.
Mormonism in England, then, had no resemblance to the
Mormonism of Utah to-day. The Mormons were then simply an earnest religious people, in many respects like the
Methodists, especially in their missionary zeal and fervor of
spirit. The Mormon Church abroad was purely a religious
institution, and Mormonism was preached by the elders as the
gospel of Christianity restored. The church had no political
shaping nor the remotest antagonism to the civil power. The
47 
HOW CONVERTS WERE MADE.
name of Joseph Smith was seldom spoken, and still more
seldom was heard the name of Brigham Young, and then
only so far as they had reference to the Church of the Saints.
About eighteen months before I visited Southampton, one
of these missionaries had come into that town, "without
purse or scrip." He was quite a young man and almost pen-.
niless, but he was rich in faith and overflowing with zeal. He
knew no one there, and homeless, and frequently hungry, he
continued his labors. Of fasting he knew much, of feasting
nothing. He first preached under the branches of a spreading beech tree in a public park, and when more favored he
held forth in a school-room or public hall. He had come to
convert the people to Mormonism or he was going to die
among them, and before such zeal and determination, discouragements, of course, soon vanished away. He troubled the
ministers of other dissenting churches when they found him
distributing tracts and talking to'their people. He was sowing broadcast dissatisfaction and discontent wherever he could
get any one to listen to him, and thus he drew down upon
himself the eloquence of the dissenting pulpits and the derision of the local press.' But the more they attacked him the
more zealously did he labor, and defied his opponents to
public discussion. Mormonism was bold then in Europe-it
had no American history to meet in those days.
This, and a great deal more, I had heard discussed in glowing language by my relatives and friends; and thus the young
missionary-Elder Stenhouse-was, by name, no stranger to
me.
It was Elder Stenhouse who now addressed the meeting,
and I listened to him with attention. The reader must
remember that at that time polygamy was unheard of as a
doctrine of the Saints, and the blood-atonement, the doctrine
that Adam is God, together with the polytheism and priestly
theocracy of after years were things undreamed of. The
saving love of Christ, the glory and fulness of the everlasting Gospel, the gifts and graces of the Spirit, together with
repentance, baptism, and faith, were the points upon which
48 
"THE OTHER DAUGHTER" FROM FRANCE.
the Mormon teachers touched; and who can wonder that
with such topics as these, and fortifying every statement with
powerful and numerous texts of Scripture, they should capti vate the minds of religiously inclined people? However this
may be, I can only confess that as I listened to Elder Stenhouse's earnest discourse, I felt my antipathy to Mormonism
rapidly melting away.
At the close of the service, when he left the platform, he
was warmly received by the brethren and sisters, for so the
Saints speak of one another, and they came about him to
shake hands, or it might be to seize the opportunity of slipping a trifle into his hand to help him in his work.  Young
and old, the poor and their more wealthy neighbors mingled
together like one happy family.  It was altogether a most
pleasing scene, and, whatever explanation may yet be given to
Mormonism in America, one thing I know-the facts of its
early history in Europe are among the most pleasant reminiscences of my life.
Elder Stenhouse came up in a familiar and open-hearted
way to my mother and sisters, and I was introduced to him
as "the other daughter from France." He kindly welcomed
me, and when I frankly told him the state of my mind, he
made, I must admit, a successful attempt to solve my doubts,
and when I left the meeting it was with sentiments towards
the saints and their religion far different from those which I
entertained when I entered.
This meeting was a memorable era in my life.
4
49 
CHAPTER III.
THE LABOR OF MY LIFE BEGUN:-HOW THE MORMON MIS.
SIONARIES MADE CONVERTS.
A Confirmation Meeting-The Age for Baptism-How Sister Martha was Con firmed-How Mormon Saints are "Blessed "-The Spirit of Prophecy-A
Lecture by Elder Stenhouse-The New Gospel Explained-A Vision of Lat ter-Day Glory-How I was Convinced-The Finger of Destiny draws Me On A Mormon Baptism-I Become a Member of the Church-I am Baptized,
Confirmed, and Blessed-I begin a New Life-A Happy Dream of Missionary
Usefulness-I begin Work with Enthusiasm-Methodism and Mormonism
Compared-How Converts are made- Religious Revivals- The Anxious
Seats-A Testimony Meeting-How Brigham Young has Damped the Ardor
of the Saints-Magical Effects of an Elder's Speech-The Mormon Marseil laise-Effects of Song upon Religious Feeling.
N the afternoon I attended a meeting of a still more inter   esting character. These Sunday afternoon meetings were
held for the purpose of receiving the sacrament, and the confirmation of those who had been baptized during the week;
they were intended exclusively for the Saints, but for certain
reasons I was permitted to be present.
The meeting was opened with singing and prayer, and then
the presiding Elder-Brother Cowdy-arose, and invited all
those who had been baptized during the week to come to the
front seats. Several ladies and gentlemen came forward, and
also three little children. Upon inquiry I found' that children
of eight years of age were admitted members of the Church
by baptism-which is administered by immersion. At that
age they are supposed to understand what they are doing; but
before that, if of Mormon parents, they are considered members of the Church by virtue of the blessing which they re 
THE RITE OF CONFIRMATION.
ceived in infancy.   Brother Cowdy  the presiding elderthen called upon two other elders to assist him in the confirmation.
One of the ladies took off her bonnet but retained her seat,
when all three of the Elders placed their hands upon her head,
and one of them said:
"Martha; by virtue of the authority vested in us, we confirm you a member
of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints; and as you have been
obedient to the teachings of the Elders, and have gone down into the waters of
baptism for the remission of your sins, we confer upon you the Gift of the Holy
Ghost, that it may abide with you for ever, and be a lamp unto your feet and a
light upon your pathway, leading and guiding you into all truth.  This blessing
we confirm upon your head, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of
the Holy Ghost. Amen."
Then, before they took their hands off her head, the presiding Elder asked the other two if they wished to say anything.
Whereupon one of them began to invoke a blessing upon the
newly-confirmed sister. He spoke for some time with extreme
earnestness, when suddenly he was seized with a nervous trembling which was quite perceptible, and which evidently betokened
intense mental or physical excitement. He began to prophesy
great things for this sister in the future, and in solemn and mysterious language proclaimed the wonders which God would perform for her sake. When we consider the excited state of her
mind, and if the statements of psychologists be true the
magnetic currents which were being transmitted from the
sensitive nature of the man into the excited brain of the new
convert, together with the pressure of half a dozen human
hands upon her head, it is not at all astonishing that when the
hands were lifted off she should firmly believe that she had
been blessed indeed.   She had been told that she should
receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost; and she did not for an
instant doubt that her expectations had been realized.
Each of the newly baptized went through the same ceremony, and then they all partook of the sacrament, when, after
,~~
another hymn, the meeting was closed with prayer.
In the evening I returned to listen to a lecture upon "  e
character, spirit, and genius" of the new church, delivered by
5I 
52      ELDER STENHOUSE DELIVERS A LECTURE.
Elder Stenhouse; and I was captivated by the picture which
he drew of the marvellous latter-day work which he affirmed
had already begun. The visions of by-gone ages were again
vouchsafed to men; angels had visibly descended to earth;
God had raised up in a mighty way a Prophet, as of old, to
preach the dispensation of the last days; gifts of prophecy,
healing, and the working of miracles were now, as in the days
of the Apostles, witnesses to the power of God. The long-lost
tribes of Israel were about to be gathered into the one great
fold of Christ; and the fulness of the Gentiles being come,
they, too, were to be taken under the care of the Good Shepherd. All were freely invited to come and cast away their
sins, ere it was too late; and the fullest offers of pardon, grace,
sanctification and blessing, in this world and in the next, were
presented to every repentant soul.
Surely, I thought, these are the selfsame doctrines which
my mother taught me when I knelt beside her in childhood,
and which I have so often heard-only in colder and less persuasive language urged from the pulpits of those whom I
have ever regarded in the light of true disciples of Jesus. Who
can wonder that I listened with rapt attention, and that my
heart was even then half won to the new faith?  The days
passed; and as I pondered over these things it appeared to me
that I had at last found that which I had so long earnestly
desired and prayed for-a knowledge of that true religion for
which the Saviour presented Himself a Holy Sacrifice, and
which the Apostles preached at peril of their lives-the only
faith, in which I might find joy and peace in believing.
But why should I dwell upon those moments, soul-absorbing
as was their interest to me then-sadly-pleasing as is their
memory now! The reader can see the drift of my thoughts
at that time; and I feel sure, although I have but hastily
sketched the causes which brought about these great changes
in my religious belief and in my life, that he will not hastily
accuse me of fickleness and love of change, if he himself has
fowght the battles of the soul and has learned even in a slight
measure to rqalize the mystery of his inner-being. 
I AM BAPTISED A MORMON SAINT.
Each day the finger of destiny drew me nearer to the final
step. The young Elder, whose words I had listened to with
such strange and, to me, momentous results, was intimate with
my father's family and called frequently to see us, and before
long he convinced me that it was my duty to test for myself
whether the work was of God, or not.  In the agitated state
of my mind at that time, I could not withstand the earnest
appeals which were made to my affections and hopes; and
within two weeks after my arrival in England, I became form ally a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day
Saints; or in more popular language-I became a Mormon.
The day was fixed for my baptism. Several others were to
be baptized at the same time; for scarcely a week passed with out quite a number of persons joining the church. For this
purpose we all repaired to a bath-house on the banks of the
Southampton river. This place was not perhaps the most
convenient, and it certainly was devoid of the slightest tinge
of romance; but it was the only one available to the saints at
that time.
When we were all assembled and had united in singing and
prayer, Elder Stenhouse went down into the water first, and
then two men went down and were baptized, and came up
again. Now came my turn. I was greatly agitated, for I felt
all the solemnity of the occasion.  I had dressed myself very
neatly and purely, for I believed that angel eyes were upon
me; I wished to give myself-a perfect and acceptable offering-to my God, and I was filled with the determination henceforth to devote my whole life to his service.
As I went down into the waters of baptism, how thankful I
felt that it had been my privilege to hear the gospel in my
youth, for now I could give my heart in all its freshness to the
Lord, before it had been chilled by the cold, hard experience
of life.
I descended the steps, and Elder Stenhouse came forward
and led me out into the water; then taking both my hands in
one of his, he raised his other hand towards heaven, and in a
solemn and impressive voice he said:
53 
54   I RECEIVE THE BLESSINGS OF THE PRIESTHOOD.
"Fanny; by virtue of the authority vested in me, I baptize you for the remission
of your sins; in the name of the Eather, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.
Amen."
Then he immersed me in the water; and as I reaiscended
the steps, I really felt like another being: all my past was
buried in the deep-the waters of baptism had washed away
my sins; and a new life lay open before me, in which my footsteps would be guided by the inspired servants of God. All
now would be peace and joy within me, for I had obeyed the
commands of God, and I doubted not that I should receive the
promised blessing, and that now I could indeed go on my way
rejoicing.
My baptism took place one Saturday afternoon, and the
afternoon following I was confirmed a member of the church.
Elder Stenhouse presided at the meeting, and he, with Elder
Cowdy and two other elders, confirmed me.   As  the "blessing" which I then myself received differs somewhat from the
one which I have already given, and as it is a very fair specimen of those effusions, I present it to the reader in full.
Elder Stenhouse, Elder Cowdy, and the two other elders,
placed their hands solemnly upon my head, and Elder Stenhlouse said
"Fanny; by virtue of the authority  vested in me, I confirm you a member
of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints; and inasmuch as you have
been obedient to the command of God, through his servants, and have been baptized for the remission of your sins, I say unto you that those sins are remitted.
And in the name of God I bless you, and say unto you, that inasmuch as you are
faithful and obedient to teachings of the priesthood, and seek the advancement of
the kingdom, there is no good thing that your heart can desire that the Lord will
not give unto you. You shall have visions and dreams, and angels shall visit you
by day and by night. You shall stand in the temple in Zion, and administer to the
Saints of the Most High God. You shall speak in tongues, and prophesy; and
the Lord shall bless you abundantly, both temporally and spiritually. These
blessings I seal upon your head, inasmuch as you shall be faithful; and I pray
heaven to bless you; and say unto you-Be thou blessed, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen."
After the meeting, I received the congratulations of all the
Saints present, and more particularly those of my own family.
My dear mother and father were overjoyed, and I now learned
how anxious they had been, and how they had feared that I 
I ENGAGE IN MISSIONARY WORK.
should return to France and reject the faith of the new dis pensation. Altogether we were very happy.
Elder Stenhouse and Elder Cowdy returned home with us
to tea, and afterwards we all attended the usual evening
lecture. In this way was passed one of the happiest days of
my life-one which I shall ever remember;-and yet that
memory will always be mingled with regret that so much love
and devotion as I then felt were not enlisted in a better cause.
Thus began a new era in my life.  All my former friends
and associations were now to be remembered no more: my
lot was cast among the Saints; and in the state of my mind
at that time, I believed that I should be happy in my new
position, and resolved to give evidence of the sincerity of my
faith.
The untiring energy and restless activity of Elder Stenhouse was ever before our eyes, and inspired all who associated with him with a similar enthusiasm. There were no
drones in that hive. The brethren, at a word from him,
would roam the country, teaching and preaching in the open
air, while the sisters would go from house to house in the
city, distributing tracts about the new faith. I caught the
enthusiasm of the rest, and was soon in the ranks with the
other sisters, as devoted in my endeavors as a young, ambitious
heart could be. I was indeed like one born again from an old
existence into a new life.  I felt grateful and happy -I
began to dream of the eternal honor which crowns a faithful
missionary life; and I soon found an ample field for testing
my fitness for that vocation.
At the time of which I speak, the Primitive Methodists in
England were doing a great work in the way of converting
sinners. Their missionaries were zealous and devoted men,
though generally poor and uneducated. They resembled very
closely the Mormon elders in their labors; and, in fact, a very
large number of the leading Mormons had been Methodist
local-preachers and exhorters; and the greater number of the
new-born Saints -had come from that denomination with their
former teachers, or else had followed them soon after.
55 
CONVERTS IN COUNTRY PLACES.
The change from Methodist to Mormon was, in course of
time, very strongly marked; but for a considerable period the
same, or what seemed the same, influences were at work
among the people.  Remarkable scenes of excitement were
often witnessed at the " love feasts;" and from the "anxious
seats," as they were called, might be heard, the entreaties of
self-accusing souls, frightened by a multitude of sins, crying
earnestly, nay, wildly, for grace, mercy, and the Holy Ghost,
while many of the supplicants would fall upon the ground,
completely overcome by nervous excitement. Then they
would have visions, and beheld great and unutterable things;
received the forgiveness of their sins; and, coming back to
consciousness, believed themselves now to be the children of
God, and new creatures; doubting not that they would ever
after be happy in the Lord.
The  experience of the Saints at their meetings, when
Mormonism was first preached, was exactly similar to this.
Into the psychological, moral, or religious causes of these
scenes of excitement I cannot here enter;-I simply mention
facts as they came under my own observation.
The Mormon Missionary often came upon whole communities in the rural districts of England, where this "good time"
was in full operation; and being a man of texts he would'
follow up the revival, preaching that the spirit of the prophet
was subject to the prophet, and not the prophet subject to the
spirit. Controversy would arise, and his appeal to Scripture,
literally interpreted, was almost invariably triumphant. Even
in this country, especially in New York and Ohio, the same
causes produced the same effects. It was after his mind was
excited by a general revival near his native place, that Joseph
Smith, the founder of Mormonism, received his first religious
impression, and saw, as he asserted, his first angelic vision.
His followers, even in the early days of the church, had
revival-meetings and meetings at which the most extraordin,
ary excitement was manifested,-when the Saints fell -into
ecstatic trances, saw heaven opened, and spake with tongues.
But Joseph, shrewd man as he was, albeit "a prophet," when
5-6.  
THE GIFT OF THE SPIRIT -REVELATION AND PROPHECY. 57
he found too many rival seers were coming into the field,
announced by "special revelation," that these too-gifted persons were possessed by devils, and that their visions and
prophecyings must be at once suppressed. And he did sup-r
press them.
Not long after my own baptism I was present at a meeting
of this description, in Southampton.  It was called a "testimony meeting," and was held in a large upper room situated,.
if I rightly remember, in Chandos street. No one from the
outside would have supposed that it was the place of assembly
of the Saints, for it was generally used for ordinary secular
meetings, and I have heard that great objections were at first
raised as to the propriety of letting it to the- Mormons.
As we entered the door, we were saluted by Brother
Williams, who expressed great pleasure at seeing us. There
was a full attendance of the Saints, and every face wore an
expression of peaceful earnestness. A person who has never
attended a Mormon meeting can form no idea of the joyous
spirit which seemed to animate every one present.  I am not,
of course, speaking of modern meetings, but of meetings as
they used to be.  Whence and whatever that "spirit" might
be which moved the sisters and brethren when they met in
early times, I cannot tell; but I, and with me, ten thousand
Mormons and seceding Mormons in Utah, can, from our own
experience, testify that tlhat spirit no longer visits the Tabernacle services over which Brigham Young presides, or the
meetings of the Saints since they adopted the accursed
doctrine of polygamy, and forsook the gentle leadings of their
first love.
Often have I heard Mormons of good standing and high
position in the church, lament the "good old times" as they
called them, when the outpouring of the Spirit was so abundant, and mourn over the cold, barren services of the present
day.  But the elders explain this away.  It is, they say, the
fault of the people themselves, and because their own hearts
have become cold.
At the meeting of which I speak, that happy spirit was 
58     SAINTS AT WORK:-A TESTIMONY MEETING.
peculiarly marked. An encouraging smile, or a kind word,
greeted me on every side, and, as a newly converted sister, I
received the most cordial welcome. The brethren were seated
on forms and chairs and any other convenient article which
came to hand, while at the further end of the room was
Brother Bench, who was to preside, and with him several
other leading elders.  Brother Bench gave out a suitable
hymn.
The whole congregation joined in the singing, and every
heart seemed lifted up with devotion. Then another elder
rose and offered a spirit-moving prayer; and then the brother
who presided stated that for the time he withdrew his control
of the proceedings, and, as the phrase was, he "put the meeting in the hands of the Saints," exhorting them not to let the
time pass by unimproved.
There was at first a momentary hesitation, but Brother
Burton got up and fixed the hearts of the Saints by relating
what the Lord had done for him. He told us of his zeal for
the faith, and how, during the week, he had had a terrible
discussion with an unbeliever-a clever and learned man, too,
and well skilled in dialectics-how he trembled at first at the
idea of contesting with such an antagonist, but that the Lord
had helped him, until argument after argument had been
overthrown and he had come off victor in the fight. Then
appealing to every one present he exhorted them to similar
zeal, and promised them abundant help from on high to
achieve a like result.
Then arose Brother Edwards, a well-tried champion of the
faith, and to him every one listened with profound attention,
eagerly drinking in his every utterance. I could almost, even
now, imagine that he was really inspired.   Tlzen I firmly
believed he was.  His voice thrilled with an earnestness
which seemed to us something more than the mere excitement of the soul. A burning fire seemed to flash from his
large, expressive eyes; his features were lighted up with that
animation which gives a saint-like halo to the earnest face
when fired with indignation or pleading soul-felt truths; while 
THE MORMON MARSEILLAISE.
his whole frame seemed to glow with the glory of a land
beyond this earth, as in the most impressive and convincing
language he reminded us that our sins had been washed
away by the waters of baptism, that upon us had been poured
the gifts and graces of the Spirit, and that it was our sacred
privilege to testify of these things.
The effect of this exhortation was magical. We forgot all
our outward surroundings, in the realisation that the great
work of the Lord was so gloriously begun and that it would
surely go on, conquering and to conquer. One sister-an
elderly woman-who was present, unable to control her emotion, burst out with that Mormon hymn which I have heard
some old Nauvoo Saints declare produced upon the people
in those days an enthusiasm similar to that which moves the
heart of every true Frenchman when he listens to the soulstirring notes of the Marseillaise:
The Spirit of God like a fire is burning!
The latter-day glory begins to come forth;
The visions and blessings of old are returning,
The angels are coming to visit the earth.
We'll sing and we'll shout with the armies of heaven
Hosannah! Hosannah, to God and the Lamb!
All glory to them in the highest be given,
Henceforth and for ever: Amen, and Amen!
I have often heard in magnificent- cathedrals, hoary with
the dust of time, and in vast places of amusement dedicated
specially to music and to song, the outpouring of that glorious
vocal flood, which a chorus of a thousand well-trained singers
can alone send forth. I have felt sometimes that entrancing
state of ecstacy which thrilled the soul of the seer in Patmos,
as he listened to the melody of the angelic throng-" the
voice of many waters, and the peal of mighty thunders, and
the notes of harpers harping upon their harps;" but never,
even when surrounded by all that was best calculated to
produce a sentiment of devotion in my mind-never did I
experience so rapt a feeling of communion with "the armies
of heaven "-as I felt in that unadorned meeting-room surrounded by those plain but earnest and united people.
59 
THE UNISON OF RELIGION AND SONG.
Nor was I alone in this.  The feeling was contagious.
There was not one present who did not sympathise. And
thus, I suppose, melody has always played a prominent part
in all religious revivals, whether of divine or human  origin.
The Apostles had their psalms, and hymns, and spiritual
songs; the Martyrs their Te Dezm; the Waldenses made the
hills and vales of Piedmont vocal with their singing; the
Lollards and  Hussites had their melodies;  and in more
modern days the followers of Luther, Wesley, and (may I
add?) Joseph Smith, have poured out the fulness of their
souls after the same fashion.
The last notes of the hymn had scarcely died away when
another, and then another brother arose and bore testimony
to the great work, told what the Lord had done for them
personally, told of their zeal for the faith, and fervently
exhorted all present to persevere unto the end.  Again prayer
was offered, another hymn sung, and the Saints were dismissed with a solemn benediction.
60: 
CHAPTER IV.
LIFE AMONG THE SAINTS:-MY NEW ENGAGEMENTS.
Beginning Life as a Mormon-Breaking Way from the Past-My Friends in
France-Placed in a Difficult Position-I Remember my Betrothed-Exclu siveness of my New Faith-An "Apostle" lays down the Law-How to Keep
aloof from the Gentiles-Woman's Duty-" The Foundation of a Little Family
Kingdom "-The "Gift of Tongues" in Modern Days-An Extraordinary
Meeting-Sister Ellis exercises her "Gift,"-Need of an Interpreter-Emo tional Religion-How Brother Brigham once "Spake in Tongues "-A "High
time" at Kirtland in the days of Joseph-A Scene in the Lion House-One of
the Prophet's Wives "Speaks "-Another Wife Interprets-I Receive a Bless ing-Brother Young Discountenances the "Gift "-Only half Convinced-" To
Doubt is Sin "-I Arrive at an Important Conclusion-I instruct Elder Sten house in the French Language-An Interesting Pupil-Declining the verb
7'Aiime-Studies in the Back Parlor-A Persevering Young Man-Why I
listened to Elder Stenhouse's Suit-I am Engaged to Him-I become a Mis sionary's Wife-I write to my Friends in France-A Free Confession-Plea sant Memories of the Past.
WAS now a Mormon in every sense of the word, although
entirely ignorant of Utah politics and polygamy.
My dreams were of a life of happiness spent in seeking to
convert the whole world to the religion of Jesus, which I believed had been restored again to earth by the ministry of
holy angels. It is easy to say that such an ambition was illdirected when associated with Mormonism, but no one can
deny that, in itself, it was the noblest and purest that could
inspire the heart of man.  There was no sacrifice too great
for me to make; there was no object too dear for me to resign, if it stood in the way of my sacred calling. The whole
current of my thoughts and plans was now changed. It was
henceforth my duty to be entirely forgetful of self, and to devote my energies-my all-to the advancement of the King 
MATRIMONIAL DIFFICULTIES.
dom of God.   My life was to be identified with the Saints,my faith required it, and I was willing that it should be so.
But what of my beloved France, all this time; and my betrothed husband?
This reflection aroused within me a most painful train of
thought. How many fond and endearing memories entwined
themselves around my heart at that moment, when most I
needed to banish them for ever! With what lingering love
did I look back to those dear ones from whom I had parted
but a few short weeks before, and who I might perhaps never
see again! To return would be to desert my newly-adopted
friends and faith-to violate the covenant which I had made
at baptism to "be ever afterwards governed by the servants
of God."
No; it was too late-I could not now return;-I tried to
persuade myself that I did not even wish to;-in a word,
affection, and what I thought duty, were at war together in
my heart. All my former ties and associations must now be
severed, however terrible the cost might be; and I was bound
not only to submit, but even to glory in the sacrifice.
Thus I argued away the regrets which would at times agitate
my very soul itself, and caused me so much painful thought.
The trial of my profession in the new faith came swiftly to
my- door.   My  marriage-engagement must  be broken off,
though I knew not how that could honorably and conscientiously be done. Of myself I had no wish to draw back from
anything that I had promised of my own free will; and much
less did I desire to be faithless to my solemnly plighted
word.
I now first realised the all-absorbing influence of an earnest
religious faith. I was brought face to face with the fact that
I could not marry out of the Mormon Church. The teaching
of the elders was against it, and I saw that in this they were
consistent. Great as was the trial, and painful as was the
sacrifice, I resolved to be true to my religion.  How very
earnestly the elders insisted upon such sacrifices, may be seen
from an appeal made at a later date by the "Apostle" Orson
62 
77   CEOI CA.SM IT                      BRI(Cc
OBABLE SUCCESS( R!
r~IE PROP),
)RSON fR  l I \ X
PILL F'L       THE MO
jj ~    A,_j AKEClT~/;   ~\
PILLARS OF THE MOR~MON CHRH
I NEW    TRUST
-IN     -TRUST  
AN APOSTLE LAYS DOWN THE LAW.
Pratt. Brother Orson was in Europe, and, speaking authoritatively, he set forth the duties of mothers and daughters in
"Babylon," as he graciously styled the rest of the world, in
the following terms which unmistakably show the purposes
of the leaders relative to marriage
"Many of you have daughters, some of whom are grown to womanhood;
others are now young. Would you have them gather with you to a land where
virtue and peace dwell, where God has promised to protect and bless the righteous? If so, teach them, as they love their parents, and the Saints, and the
truth, not to throw themselves away by marrying Gentiles; teach them to keep
themselves entirely aloof from Gentile courtships and associations.  Scores of
women who once were counselled as you are now, are mourning in wretchedness,
in bondage to Gentile husbands, cut off from all privilege of gathering with their
fathers, mothers, brethren, and sisters; and, in some instances, cut off from
even attending the Saints' meetings. But this is not all. They are raising up
children in these lands to perish with themselves in the general desolations coming upon Babylon.  But what is still more aggravating and heart-rending, they
are raising up children not only destined for temporal judgments, but who must
for ever be cut off from the presence of God and the glory of the celestial kingdom  *  *  *  *  *  What fearful responsibility for anyyoungsister to voluntarily take upon herself, after all the warnings she has received. See to it,
then, parents, that you not only do not give your consent, but actually forbid all
such marriages.
*          *          *           *          *           *"
Let them marry according to the holy order of God, and begin to lay the
foundation of a little family kingdom which shall no more be scattered upon the
face of the earth, but dwell in one country, keeping their genealogies from generation to generation, until each man's house shall be multiplied as the stars of
heaven."
These were the influences which were brought to bear upon
my mind at a time when it was peculiarly sensitive and open
to impressions from without.
While in this uncertain state a little incident occurred
which, though in itself of the most trifling nature, assisted in
forming my ultimate decision.
It was a beautiful evening in early summer, and my mother
and sister asked me to accompany them to one of the testimony-meetings which I have already described. This meeting was very similar to the others, with one notable exception:- it was here that I saw and heard, for the first time in
my own experience, the "gift of tongues" exercised.
65 
THE GIFT OF TONGUES.
I had, of course, heard a great deal about this" gift," much
of which was anything but satisfactory, as I think the reader
will agree with me, when I explain myself.
I had read in Scripture that the Apostles of Jesus Christ
tarried in Jerusalem  until the day of Pentecost, when power
was given them from on high.. Being all together in one
place, engaged in earnest supplication and the praise of God,
suddenly the building in which they were, shook to its very
foundation, and the sound of a mighty, rushing wind was
heard, and the Spirit of the Eternal One, who, ere the dawning of creation moved upon the waters of chaos, descended in
visible shape, palpable to their eyes in the form of a cloven
tongue, an emblem of the gift of eloquence and diversity 6f
speech which was henceforth to be theirs.
Then arose Peter, that disciple so full of zeal.  Henceforth
he was no longer to be called a disciple, but an "Apostle,"
which by interpretation is one "sent forth;"-for now he had
received his commission, and, in the power of the Highest, he,
with the other Ambassadors of Jesus, could go forth upon
their glorious work.  But newly pardoned for his great transgression, and still remembering the Saviour's pitying look, and
the thrice-repeated question-" Lovest thou Me more than
these?"-burning, also, with zeal to give evidence of his love
-the Leader of the Apostles addressed the multitude gathered
from every clime to keep the feast.
Lo, then, a miracle! The Jew of Jerusalem wondered at
the wisdom of the unlettered Fisherman. The magi from the
still more distant Orient were amazed to hear so strange a
story.  The Greek paused at the utterances of this new philosophy.  But strangest of all was the fact that, though utterly
unable to comprehend each other's speech, they all, listening
at the same time, could understand the words of the untaught
fisherman.
Long before I had even heard of Mormonism, I had frequently
thought how wonderfully useful this gift must have been to the
Apostles. One of the great difficulties encountered by the
missionary is learning the language of the people among whom
66 
A MODERN ORACLE.
he works and lives. To be able to dispense with all this
labor, and to be understood wherever he went, must have
lightened the mind of the holy man of half its load; and
naturally, when I heard that the Mormons had "the Gift of
Tongues," I supposed it was the self-same power of diverse
speech as that exercised by the Apostles; and I presume the
reader will conjecture with me that it was the same "gift," or, at
least, some imitation of it. How surprised I was when I first
discovered the meaning of the term "speaking in tongues,"
among the Mormons, may perhaps be imagined when I ex  plain what happened at that testimony-meeting.
After prayer, and singing, and listening to several very fer vent addresses from some of the elders, Brother Seely had
delivered a most impassioned speech, and had hardly con cluded, when Sister Ellis, who was sitting near me, gave evi dence of being in an abnormal condition of mind, which to
me was painful in the extreme. Her hands were clenched,
and her eyes had that wild and supernatural glare which is
never seen, save in cases of lunacy or intense feverish excite ment. Every one waited breathlessly, listening to catch what
she might say;-you might have heard a pin drop.
Then in oracular language and with all the impassioned
dignity of one inspired of heaven, she began to speak.
I say "speak," as that term is generally applied to the utterances of the human voice; but she did not speak in the
sense in which we always employ that word; she simply
emitted a series of sounds. They seemed to me chiefly the
repetition of the same syllables-something like a child repeating, la, la, la, le, lo; mna, ma, ma, mi, nma; dele, dete,
dele, hela-followed, perhaps, by a number of sounds strung
together, which could not be rendered in any shape by the
pen. Sometimes in the Far West, in later years, I have heard
old Indian women, crooning wierdly monotonous and outlandish ditties in their native tongue. These wild dirges, more
nearly than anything else I ever heard, resembled the prophetic utterances of Sister Ellis; save only, that the appearance of the latter was far too solemn to admit of even a smile
at what she said.
5
67 
THE INTERPRETATION OF TONGUES.
Ridiculous as this appears when I now write it down on
paper, and strange as even then it was to me, there was something so commanding, so earnest, so " inspirational," if I may
be allowed the term, in Sister Ellis's manner, that I could not
wonder at the attention which the brethren- and sisters paid
to this gifted speaker in tongues.
I now know that these extraordinary displays are by no
means confined to Mormonism. People of a certain temperament, excited to frenzy-generally by religious enthusiasmhave in all ages given painful illustrations of this mental disease; as the student who remembers the Convulsionnaires of
the middle ages, the Munster Anabaptists of Luther's time,
and the various emotional sects of more modern days, will
abundantly bear me witness. But at that time, new in the
faith, and believing as I did, that, as the elders said, it was
the manifestation of the power of God, as foretold by the
prophet Joel, though I secretly felt a sense of repugnance, I
tried to combat my better sentiments.
Overcome by the excitement of the moment, Sister Ellis
suddenly paused, not so much intentionally as from sheer
inability to proceed; and the leading elders looked round
from one to another to see if any one was present who could
interpret. The gift of interpretation is very rarely possessed
by the same person who has the gift of tongues, and you may
)ften hear one after another arise and "speak," but there is
no one to "interpret," and the Saints go away unedified.
Even when an interpreter is present, there is no authority to
determine whether he gives the proper rendering of the
sounds uttered, and I have over and over again heard the
most ludicrous stories of the comical interpretation placed by
some half witty or half-witted expounder upon these oracles.
When Brother Brigham-then a man who was lowly in his
own eyes-first met the prophet Joseph Smith, at Kirtland,
Ohio, there was a scene somewhat like the one I have described; and the future leader of "this people," as he calls
the Saints, himself spake with tongues and uttered wonderful
things. But even supposing his words at that time to have
68
O 
BROTHER BRIGHAM PLAYS THE PROPHET.
been of the wisest, we all know from the example of Balaam's
reprover, that it does not require a very high order of intellect
to speak in unaccustomed language-and that, too, to some
purpose. In later days the exercise of this gift has been dis couraged by the elders, and especially by Brigham Young.
Going one day, some years after, to the Lion-House to see a
certain member of the Prophet's little family concerning a
subject which lay very near to my heart at that time, we
prayed together earnestly and anxiously; when suddenly the
lady's face was lighted up with a supernatural glow, and
placing her hand on my head she, sibyl-like, poured forth a
flood of eloquence which-although I did not understand a
single word that was uttered-I confess sent through me  a
magnetic thrill as if I had been listening to an inspired
seeress. Another of Brigham's wives who was present interpreted the words of blessing to me, but added: "Do not
speak of this, Sister Stenhouse, for Brother Young does not
like to hear of these things." Thus we see that one inspired
prophet in the presence of another "prophet, seer, and revelator," could himself take part at one time in a miraculous
manifestation, which in later years he "would not like to hear
of," if it was only one of his many wives who enacted the
prophet's roAle.
But my meeting! I have wandered far away from that.
Let me proceed.
After more testimony, more "speaking," and much enthusiasm, the Saints separated. My sister was talking with a
young-lady friend, and regretting that no one present had
been able to interpret; and I stood by, but did not join in the
conversation. Suddenly the young lady turned to me and
said: "Sister Fanny, do you not see in all this, more and
more, the convincing power of God?"
Rather hesitatingly I replied, "Yes, I think I do."
" Tzink! sister?" said she, with warmth.   "Oh, yes, I see
by your looks that you are only half convinced; your faith is
not strong enough yet; but remember, whatsoever is of doubt
is sin!"
69 
ELDER STENHOUSE'S FRENCH LESSONS.
"But," I answered, "I do not see clearly what good we
receive from these manifestations when no one can understand them."
"That is your want of faith-nothing else; you have the
evidence of the truth before you, and you see how these
miraculous powers build up the belief of God's people; and
yet you doubt. To doubt is sini: whatsoever is not of faith is
sin. You must pray and strive, sister, to be strengthened
against temptation."
All this was not very logical, and it certainly did not help
to dispel my doubts. But, twice in the course of a few short
sentences, she had used a certain expression which, though
trifling in itself, was recalled to my mind very forcibly before
many days had passed.
This was my first experience of speaking in tongues.
But there were every-day matters of much more real
importance to me than those strange speculations which had
recently employed so much of my time and attention. It
was now necessary that I should either return to France and
fulfill my engagement with Monsieur De Bosque, or else
resolve, once and for ever, to renounce all those ties which
had become so dear to me.
Meanwhile, religious theories were not the only influences
brought to bear upon my mind.
While day by day I began to be still more doubtful whether
it would not after all be sinful in God's sight forme to leave
my friends in the new faith and go back to France and my
betrothed, who I knew neither was nor ever could become a
Saint, other thoughts began to intrude themselves, and to
shake my determination.
Elder Stenhouse's visits to my father's house began to be
more frequent than ever, but as he desired to become familiar
with the French language, and would bring his French grammar with him "to get a lesson," as he said, no particular
notice was taken of his frequent coming. He was always
welcomed with pleasure by the whole family, and, of course,
by myself, who was his teacher. After awhile he took so
70 
DECLINING THE VERB JAIME.
much delight in his studies that he could not endure to let an
evening pass without a lesson; and somehow or other, I must
confess, it was the first time since I had been a teacher that I
felt such a peculiar pleasure in imparting instruction. I suppose it was the interest which all teachers experience when
their pupils are studiously inclined. My pupil was particularly studious-so much so that he told my father and mother
that he could not study very well in the parlor where every
one was conversing, and begged the privilege of having the
folding doors thrown partly open, that we might sit in the
back parlor and be more quiet.
This was granted. But after a few evenings my pupil took
a notion to partly close the folding doors after him, and as
mothers' eyes are ever watchful, one of my sisters was sent
in with her sewing to keep us company. But my pupil by
this time had made rapid progress in the French language,
and while my sister was innocently sewing, he was repeating
his lesson to me; and it was not our fault if in those French
phrase-books there were passages expressive of love and
devotion. Unconsciously to us both, he formed the habit of
repeating those phrases to me at all times, and I formed the
equally bad habit of blushing whenever he made use of
them.
This my sister observed, and communicated the fact to my
mother, who immediately said that we had better discontinue
our French for awhile, as it was monopolizing too much of
our time, and keeping both of us from attending to other
and more important duties. But the discontinuation of the
French lessons did not put an end to the visits of Elder Stenhouse. He was a persevering young man; but the secret of
the great interest taken in the French lessons was soon discovered.
Then it was that arguments of all kinds, and strong reasons
were brought forward to shake my purpose of returning to
France. I was "in doubt".-when one day, discussing the
point, Elder Stenhouse made use of the very same expression
which had fallen from the sister's lips at the testimony-meet
7I 
MY MARRIED LIFE BEGINS.
ing-" Whatsoever is not of faith is sin." My mind unsettled,
with all the strength of argument and religion on the one
side, and on the other no one to plead for reason and for my
return to France, who can wonder that I-at best only a
weak and inexperienced girl-listened to the entreaties of my
friends, and resolved to stay.
In the course of a few months I was engaged to be married to Elder Stenhouse. It may, perhaps, seem strange that
I could so soon forget the past, with all its pleasant memories,
and renouncing my betrothed husband, accept the attentions
of another; but it should be remembered that I now firmly
believed it was my duty-a duty which I dared not neglectto blot out for ever all past associations, however dear to my
heart they might be. Besides which, I, in common with all
around me, had learned to look upon Elder Stenhouse as
almost an angel, on account of what he had endured for the
Gospel's sake; and I thought that any girl might consider
herself honored by an offer of marriage from a man in his
position in the church. My marriage in France would, I
feared, have been but doubtful happiness in this world, and
certain ruin in the next; but heaven itself would bless my
union with one of its own ordained and tried servants.
Thus it came to pass that on the 6th of February, I85oeight months after my arrival in Southampton-I was married to the young Mormon missionary, Elder Stenhouse. I
entered upon my new sphere as a missionary's wife, feeling
that there were no obstacles so great that I could not overcome them for the Gospel's sake. How little could I then
imagine the life that was before me.
I wrote to my friends in France. I told them frankly all.
In return they wrote to me-especially Monsieur De Bosque
entreating me to alter my determination. Kind, and very
gentle, were those letters. Dear, very dear, has been the
memory of them, and of their writers, in later days. But,
at the time, I felt that the influence which they still retained
over me was in itself a sin.
I told all to my friends at home —showed them the letters
72 
THE MEMORY OF EARLY DAYS.
and everything-and, both before and after my marriage with
Elder Stenhouse, I never hid from myself and from him the
fact that until my dying day I should cherish with an unchanging affection the memory of those friends whose tender
love was the charm of my early life.
73 
CHAPTER V.
MORMON WONDERS:-ANOINTINGS AND MIRACLES.
How a "Miracle" was Performed-The Evidence of One's Senses-Successful
use of Scripture Arguments-Mormon versus Local Preacher-A lively Dis cussion-A little "Personal" Matter-A Man who Never saw a Miracle-Suc cess Dependent upon Faith-" I Hardly know What to Think of It "-A New
Convert-How Sister Armstrong was Healed-A Genuine Case-Five Years
of Helplessness-Testing the Claims:-A fair Proposal-The Faithful Accept
the Offer-The Magnetic Principle-A good Dose of Oil-How the Anointing
was performed:-Aaron Outdone-Making the Passes-An Exhausting Labor
-"Give me your hand, Brother"-" Have faith, Sister Armstrong!"-" We
Thought that She was Dead "-My first Introduction to Mary Burton-A Wil ful Lassie-We become Fast Friends-Seeing is sometimes Believing-Elder
Stenhouse Works a Miracle:-Cures a man of the Cholera-How a "regular
battle" was Fought-A Wife's unprofitable Faith-How the Miraculous Power
was All Used Up-How my Husband made Himself useful Again.
\OT long after my marriage I saw a miracle performed     a real, true miracle.
Let not the reader smile, or think that I am only jesting,
for I am quite in earnest, and mean what I say. I saw a sick
person who for years had been confined to her bed, her limbs
distorted and her back bent; I was present when, after her
conversion, the elders visited her; I saw them anoint her, and
lay hands on her, and pray most fervently; and I saw the same
decrepit old woman walking and singing and praising God.
If that was not a miracle, I should like to know what is?
The Mormon leaders preached everywhere that their religion
was not really a new one-it was only the fuitness of the Gospel-the dispensation of the last days.  Just-they said-as
Jesus Christ fulfilled and completed the old Jewish law, so the
modern prophet preached the perfection of Christ's Gospel;nothing new; only the perfection of the old. This it was that 
4
METHODIST ve'rsus MORMON.
made them so very successful when arguing with people who
were well-taught in the letter of the Bible, but otherwise had
received very little educational training.
The following attempt at an argument, which was once carried on between a Mormon Missionary and a Methodist local
preacher, in my presence will serve to explain what I mean.
Local Preacher: But, sir, I deny in toto that your elders
ever do work miracles. The age of miracles is past.
Morinon:  Statement is not proof.  You say, sir, that the
age of miracles is past.-Do you believe in the Bible?
L. P.: Certainly.
M.: Well then, sir,-do you consider that the Bible asserts
that miracles can be, and have been worked,-do you believe
that, or not?
L. P.: Certainly I do. Christ and His Apostles worked
miracles, and the Bible speaks of many others besides.
M.: We agree on that point. But did Christ anywhere say
that miracles should ever cease? Did His Apostles?
L. P.: Yes-No-Yes,-that is to say, I don't remember.
M.: Let me try to refresh your memory. Have not all
the sacred writers foretold that ultimately this globe should be
destroyed by fire, that the heavens should pass away, and the
earth melt, and the sun, and the stars, and the moon be blotted out?
L. P.: Yes, of course, we all know that.
Al.: Then let me ask you, Is such a terrible convulsion a
common matter of fact. Is it not out of all calculation, out.of
all order of nature?  Is it not a miracle-and a miracle yet to
be performed.-Have then miracles ceased?
L. P.: Oh yes; but that's not a personal matter like healing the sick.
M.: Tell me then, does the Bible teach, or does it not
teach, that bone shall come to bone and sinew to sinew and
earth and sea shall give up their dead, at the last trump? Is
not that a miracle, and don't you think it's a little "personal"
to you and to me?
L. P.: Well, of course I admit that.
75 
LATTER-DAY MIRACLES.
M.:  But I have not done yet.  Did, or did not Christ say,
"These signs shall follow them that believe; in my name they
shall cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues; they
shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it
shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick and they
shall recover?"   Now tell me-Are  not miracles promised
there, and nothing said about when they should cease. Is it
not just as fair for the infidel to say that one of Christ's promises was of no avail as for you to say that He has broken His
word? Solemnly He makes a promise to be with them to the
end of the world and to confirm their miracles. You, because
of your want of faith, see and work no miracles, and so you
virtually say Christ broke His word on that point. The rest
of the promise you don't deny, because you can say it is fulfilled without bringing forth any visible proofs.
L. P.:  Well, I hardly know what to say to all this.
M.:  Let me ask you one more question sir-Have you ever
seen a miracle of any kind performed?
L. P.:  No sir. Certainly not!
M.: And are you a teacher in Israel and know not these
things? Have you been preaching the Gospel, as I think you
said you had, for over eighteen years, and never yet saw a
miracle performed: been preaching Christ and yet never saw
Him discover His power in proof of what you taught?
~. P.:  I'm afraid not, sir:-you trouble me.
N.: No, sir, it is not I who trouble you: it is He troubles
you whose word you have doubted.   Only last week  Mr.
Sterne-a minister of your own persuasion-but not far, I
trust, from the kingdom of God-visited Bill Wright, the murderer, in prison. Bill had lived a life of infamy-the vilest of
the vile-and he wound up his horrible crimes by cutting the
throat of his wife. That brute in human form refused at first
to speak with any one.   Day after day and night after night
the good man went to see him, but long in vain. At length
one day he chanced to mention the words of Jesus:  "Him
that cometh unto me, I will in no wise cast out." A little boy,
by his mother's knee, the murderer had listened to those words
a
76 
PUTTING IT TO THE TEST.
which have brought peace to so many broken hearts. The
appeals of the good minister had fallen dead upon his ears
But now was the time of the Spirit's influence, and the strong
man wept. I have seen that fiendish man, whose very face
betrays the depths of degradation to which his nature has
fallen-I have seen him listening meekly and humbly to the
word of God-without hope for earth, but with a changed soul
within.   Tell me, was not that a miracle if ever there was
one?
L. P.:  Sir, I admit that what you say is very forcible.  I
admit that these things are miraculous; but what I deny is
that, in these days, men,-whether Catholic priests, or Mormon Missionaries, can like St. Paul, or St. Peter, go about
with power to heal the sick or raise the dead.
M.: And what I assert, sir, is, that God in these last days
has raised up a holy priesthood to preach the fulness of the
everlasting Gospel.   Peter quoted the prophecy of Joel, and
said that it was now fulfilled, and that "your young men
should see visions, and your old men dream dreams, and I will
pour out my Spirit upon all flesh, saith the Lord." Now if
those were the last days-what are these? That was the beginning of the end; this is the end. I do not deny that much
imposture has been practiced; but the existence of a counterfeit only proves that the real thing must be somewhere. In
many instances, too, some of our holiest men have failed, and
the world has scoffed at what it called their imposture. But
even the disciples of Christ, you remember, once tried to work
a miracle, and were not able to do so. What did Christ say,
but that it was their want of faith, and bade them fast and
pray more?
L. P.: Well, sir, I am willing to allow this, but if you yourself could perform a miracle before my eyes-if, for instance,
you'd cure some man or woman who I knew really and truly
was a confirmed invalid-then, sir, I'd accept all you say-I'd
become a Mormon at once; but you'd decline that test, I sup
pose?
Al.:  No, sir! I would not decline!  Brother Sturges, a new
77 
78   THE PRAYER OF FAITH SHALL SAVE THE SICK.
convert of ours, has been ill for years. You know him well,
for he used to go to your meeting, years ago before he fell
from a ladder and the doctors pronounced him incurably deaf.
Your religion didn't help him, and the doctors didn't;-but if
that man has only faith-faith as a little child-he shall,hear
as well as you or I hear to-day. We are going to pray over
him; will you go with me?
L. P.:  Yes.  I'll go, but-but I hardly know what to think
of it.
So saying, the two disputants walked off together. What
ocular demonstration of miracle-working was presented to
the Methodist minister, I do not know; I can only say that a
fortnight after, I was present at a meeting of the Saints when
he was admitted into the Church by immersion. He was followed by a goodly number of his flock; he became a very
earnest missionary, and, years after, died in the full odor of
sanctity and was buried in Zion, clothed in the full canonicals
of a high-priest.
At the time of which I speak, such arguments as those I
have briefly sketched from memory, and many which were
much more forcibly put, had great weight with me. The Holy
Scriptures I implicitly believed; and taking them quite literally I found that the reasoning employed by the Mormons,
was, at least to me, altogether unanswerable.
But, for all that, I always liked my believing to be mixed
with a little seeing and judging for myself; and on this account
it was that I went, with a good deal of pleasure, to the house
of Sister Armstrong upon whom the elders were going to lay
hands and pray. St. James had said: "Is any sick among
you?  Let him call for the Elders of the Church; and let
them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the
Lord: and the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord
shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall
be forgiven him." I wanted to see this command obeyed in
these days, and to note results.
Sister Armstrong lived in a by-street not very far from the
place where our meetings were held. She had lived in South 
HOW A MIRACLE WAS WORKED.
ampton nearly all her life, and probably even now, although
in the course of nature she must long since have gone to her
rest, there must be many persons living who could remember
her and her sudden recovery from illness; for at the time, as
might be expected, it produced no small sensation in the
immediate locality in which she resided. She had been the
wife of a master-builder, who meeting with an accident while
engaged in business, was for a long time confined helplessly
to the house, and then to his bed, from which he never
arose.
His wife was a faithful and good woman. She nursed him
tenderly, and by dint of great exertions on her part, was able
to provide all the necessaries and decencies of life for her
afflicted husband, herself, and their two little girls, besides
paying for suitable medical attendance. In course of time
the girls were sent to school-it was the mother's pride that
they should not go to a free-school, or as schools of that class
are called in England, a "charity-school "-and, night and
day, she would toil with her needle in order to carry out this
praiseworthy determination. When their father died, the
girls were a great comfort to their mother. They were now
almost grown up to womanhood, and were able by their own
exertions to add very considerably to the family income.
Thus happily and contentedly they lived together for several
years, until one of the girls married very suitably a good,
hard-working mechanic who had known her from childhood;
but the other remained at home with her mother.
Not long after the marriage of her elder daughter, Mrs.
Armstrong was troubled with a severe cold which confined
her for some weeks to the house. She grew alarmingly
worse, and finally took to her bed. One morning her daughter
found her speechless, and a doctor being called in, he pronounced her condition desperate. She was subject to convulsive fits which were at first of very frequent occurrence.
After a time they came only at intervals, but their effect upon
her was terrible; her limbs were drawn up towards her body
and her spine was completely curved, while all one side of her
79 
PROOFS OF AUTHORITY.
face was permanently distorted;-and this continued for over
five years.                                   H
Sarah, the younger daughter, watched her mother tenderly;
earning meanwhile a modest living by her needle, and from
the proceeds of a little miscellaneous shop which she was able
to tend without leaving the invalid for more than a few
minutes at a time. Thus they lived together contentedly and
happy until the arrival of the Mormon Missionaries in
Southampton.
The married daughter and her husband being rather better
in education and position than people of that class usually are
in England, had made it a rule to go regularly every Sunday
to their own parish church, and their children were baptized
by the regular clergyman. This latter gentleman, however,
died, and his successor who, of course, was appointed without
consulting the wishes of the people, was, although a scholar
and a gentleman, utterly without the slightest tinge of religious enthusiasm. The Methodists at that time had a grandrevival, and the young couple being induced to attend one of
their meetings, liked what they heard, and, not long after,
left off their attendance at the Anglican Church and joined
the denomination to which they had become attached. This
change, as might be expected, somewhat unsettled them, and
when the Mormon Missionaries came, Bible in hand, and
quoting chapter and verse for everything they said, they
found ready listeners; and in a very short time the whole
family was admitted into the Mormon Church by baptism.
The affliction of the old lady was naturally the subject of
conversation among these newly-made Saints and their neighbors. As we have seen, the Mormon Missionaries not only
asserted their power to work miracles, but appealed to them
as proofs of their mission. People suggested that if this was
really true, here was an opportunity of the best kind for
putting these pretensions to the test; for every one knew
that there was no deception about the malady of Sister
Armstrong.
Themselves firmly believing in what they taught, the
80 
ANOINTING THE SICK.
Elders desired nothing more than to be able to prove the
truth of their assertions, and declared their readiness to do
what was required of them. A proper time was appointed
when the relations and friends of the sick person should meet
together to intercede for her in solemn prayer, after which
they would anoint her with oil, as the Apostle James had
directed, and lay their hands upon her, that the prayer of
faith might save the sick, and God should raise her up.
The room was full of people. There were several of the
leading elders present, and also a goodly number of the
Saints, who naturally felt a deep interest in the result of
these proceedings; besides these, the neighbors who, of
course, had heard what was going on, came and filled up the
room quite inconveniently.
A stranger would at once have been struck with the prevalence of that peculiar magnetic feeling which evidently influenced all present. Even those who, as the poet says, came to
scoff, felt the same influence, as many afterwards acknowledged. The elders surrounded the bed, and after a brief but
most earnest address from one of them, we all engaged in
prayer.  The subject of the prayer can readily be supposed;
but the earnestness-the intense, anxious pleading of tho
supplicants-no one could comprehend who had never been
present at such a scene.
A bottle of oil was now brought out by the eldest daughter
of the invalid; and three of the elders took it in their hands.
It was an Italian flask of very thin glass, covered with wicker,
and holding somewhat more than a pint. In taking hold of
it, the elders placed their fingers quite round it; though,
where many assist in the consecration, I have seen them
simply touch it with their fingers. Then one of the elders
said:
"By virtue of the holy priesthood, and in the name of Jesus Christ; we consecrate this oil to the healing of all those who are sick and afflicted; that it may
remove all infirmities and impurities of the system. And may this oil, which
we dedicate especially to the healing of our afflicted sister, penetrate her to the
afflicted parts, and give them new life and vigor, that she may be strengthened
and healed by the power of faith, and the laying on of hands, as commanded by
8i 
EVIL SPIRITS CAST OUT.
thy servants in the last days;-for this especial purpose do we bless and consecrate this oil; in the name of Jesus Christ.-Amen."
After this a large tablespoon was brought forth and filled
with the consecrated oil, which latter was poured down the
throat of the patient. She was then thoroughly anointed the oil not being applied by the tip of the finger as in
"extreme unction," but poured  pofz her much after the fashion
described by King David when he says the precious fluid ran
down the beard of Aaron and saturated all his clothing.
The patient, however, was Patient indeed. To her it was
no idle form. She was newly converted and her heart was
burning with zeal and faith. Perhaps the reader may think
that this had much to do with the success of the operation,
as probably it had. However this might be, the elders, who
while they anointed her had mingled prayers and benedictions above her head, now once more united in fervent supplication, and then laid their hands upon her, according to the
letter of the Scripture.
There was something peculiar about this laying on of
hands. It was not a mere gentle touching, but a thorough
manipulation. The two hands were placed firmly on the top
of the head and then drawn energetically down the body
while vigorous "passes "-as magnetizers call the actionwere made repeatedly over the affected parts. These prayers
and manipulations were made for very nearly three hours,
when the elders engaged in the work-for work it was-were
thoroughly exhausted. One of them then placing his right
hand on the head of the sufferer suddenly blessed her in the
name of the Lord, told her that her sins were forgiven her;
that the evil spirits who had afflicted her were cast out; that
the infirmity and disease which for five long years had kept her
bound upon the bed of sickness was rebuked, and would
torment her no more; and bade her be strong in the faith and
be of good cheer, for God would raise her up.
Watching all this, as I was; believing all this, as I did;
my heart filled with joy at the manifestation of heavenly
power which I expected to witness,-I must nevertheless
82 
FAITH TRIUMPHANT.
acknowledge that a feeling of wonder pervaded my mind
when I saw Sister Armstrong, who for so many years had
been unable even to turn in the bed by herself, stretch forth
hler poor, bony arm, all unassisted, and say to one of the
elders —" Give me your hand, brother."
One of the brethren put forth his hand, and took hers,
saying as he did so: "Have faith; have faith Sister Arm strong;"-while the brother who had recently blessed her
repeated: "The prayer of faith shall save the sick, and God
shall raise him up!"
Sister Armstrong, who an hour before could not, unaided,
have changed her position, now grasping the elder's hand,
raised herself up in the bed. She looked upon us with a smile
of triumph for a moment-faith was triumphant. But nature
asserted her immutable laws and the next instant the poor
sister sank gently back upon the pillows and closed her eyes.
We thought that she was dead.
The room was cleared of all but those immediately connected with the sufferer, and I, on account of my new position as Elder Stenhouse's wife, was allowed to remain. Sarah
and her younger sister applied such simple restoratives as
came conveniently to hand, and we were soon satisfied that
Sister Armstrong had only fainted; and who could wonder at it?
I sat there, not far from the bed, lost in astonishment at
what I had seen, and wondering whether what Elder Bronson
had said was true-that in a day or two, at furthest, she
would be quite well. To me it was all a mystery. I knew
then nothing of the miraculous power of faith-not religious
faith, but often just the reverse, which has so often relieved
and cured diseases and infirmities which have baffled the
power of the most skilful physicians. Moreover I knew
nothing then of that peculiar magnetic power which scientific
men now have proved belongs to certain constitutions and
can be used for curative purposes. So, in the childlike simplicity of my heart, I knelt down and thankfully poured forth
my gratitude to God that he had permitted me to witness
this wonderful manifestation of his power and love.
6
83 
MARY BURTON'S STORY.
As I rose from my knees, I saw standing just by me and
intently watching my movements, a young girl-little more
than a child-who was destined in after years to cross my path
more than once, and whose sisterly affection I shall ever
cherish among the treasures of my heart. She wore a light
summer dress, with little or no ornament, and indeed she
needed none; while on her head was a little coquettish hat of
the prettiest and most becoming style. Her hair was bright
and golden-such hair as I have never seen, except in pictures and on one or two extremely rare occasions-and
her eyes, I could not tell the deep, deep love-the charming, engaging beauty which beamed from them.
The reader may perhaps think I am romancing a little, but
I do assure him that when I first saw that young girl in all
the heavenly beauty of budding maidenhood, I could hardly
persuade myself for a moment that I was not dreaming after
the fashion of some fairy story. Years passed away-years
of anxious cruel trial to us both, and now how changed we
are! She then a pretty, gentle faerie queen; I, a new-made
bride, hardly out of my teens. What are we both now?
She came right up to me, and said, "Mrs.  Stenhouse, you
don't know me, but I have seen you often, and I like you
very much-yes, and I want to talk to you."
"Yes, dear," I said, and I kissed her on both cheeks and
she looked pleased,-in her simplicity she thought it was a
great honor to be noticed by a missionary's wife.
Then we sat down together and she told me all about herself:-how her father was a wealthy man, a doctor in good
practice and with property beside; how he had accidentally
met with a Mormon gentleman-a man of education and
position; for many such joined the Church before the
blighting doctrine of polygamy was promulgated;-how that
his arguments and Bible-proofs had been so convincing that
her father had been baptized and had cast in his lot among
the Saints;-how that he, being called away on business,
had left her with a maiden aunt who did not belong to the
Mormon Church, and who would not let her come to see
84 
ELDER STENHOUSE WORKS A MIRACLE.
Sister Armstrong anointed; and how she had quietly crept
out unnoticed, and would now have to return quite alone."
No," I said, "I will go  with you  and  see you  safe
home, but you must not come out all by yourself in this
way again."
She kissed me, with a comical little smile dancing on her
lips, as much as to intimate that whatever I might sagely
suggest, she would, after all, be pretty certain to have her
own way.
I saw my young friend safely to her father's house, and
then I went home myself, thinking of her childish beauty
and winning ways, and pondering over what I had witnessed.
The next morning Sarah called in to see us. She told us
that her mother had had a calm and peaceful night, and had
been much refreshed; that when she awoke she insisted upon
being washed and dressed and was now sitting up, with my
new acquaintance-Mary Burton-talking to her. I could
hardly believe this could be true, so I put on my bonnet and
went to see.
There, sure enough, was Sister Armstrong, very pale, and
evidently very weak, but quite another woman. Nb one could
have recognised her. The muscles of her face were no longer
contracted, and she sat there straight enough for a woman of
her age. I could scarcely believe my eyes. The poor old
lady seemed glad to see me, and it did my heart good to hear
her talk of the mercies of God.
As we talked, Mary came near and put her hand in mine.
I stooped down and touched her cheek gently, and kissed her.
"You did not even tell me what your other name was, dear?"
I asked.
"No, Sister Stenhouse; but I told you everything else.
My name is Mary Burton," she replied, "but you must call me
only Mary."
I stooped down and kissed her again. That was my only
answer.
Then she arose from the stool on which she was sitting,
85 
CURING THE CHOLERA.
and said: "I must leave you for a few minutes, please; I
promised to go back directly I'd seen how Mrs. Armstrong
was; but I'll return soon." And with a little whimsical nod
and an imperative wave of the hand, she tripped away.
After this I saw plenty of the gift of healing and the
working of miracles. Some cases were not quite so successful as that which I have described. Then we were told the
fault was in our want of faith. That cures were really affected,
no one who has been present on such occasions could possibly
doubt. That they were miracles in the sense in which we
generally use that term, I do not for a moment believe; but I
think that in cases where the efforts of the elders were successful, scientific enquiry would readily show that the effects
were only natural results of natural causes.
One brother-a deacon in the church-was suddenly attacked with cholera. He sent immediately for Elder Stenhouse. It matters not what the disease may be, the same
means are employed. Young and old, of both sexes, are
treated alike;-from measles to cholera morbus, from toothache to blindness, from whooping-cough to deafness; and
from headache to "possession by devils "-the same prescription serves for every one. And so satisfied are the Saints
that this is the only right way to effect a cure, that, until
very recently, to send for a physician would have been
accounted a sin-doubting the promises of God-want of
faith.
In the case of the deacon to whom I have just alluded, the
experiment was successful. Another missionary happened to
be in Southampton at that time, and he was with Elder Stenhouse when the messenger arrived. They were both much
surprised, for they had seen the sick man only an hour and a
half before, but they set off at once, and found him in such a
state that he could hardly be recognised.
They immediately anointed him with oil, administering a
good dose internally; then laid hands on him and prayed for
him; but the cholera maintained its hold.  The two Missionaries were full of zeal and were determined not to yield to the
86 
DISAPPOINTED EXPECTATIONS.
terrible disease; from early evening to the following morning
at daybreak they continued to anoint the brother and to lay
hands on him, praying for his recovery probably thirty times
during the night. In their rough but expressive language,
they" had a regular battle."
Victory at length crowned their efforts: —the disease was
mastered; but they themselves were utterly prostrated by the
physical and mental exertions of the night.
The Saints regarded this as a great miracle; but unbelievers would doubtless wonder why, if it was done by " the
power of God "-as the Elders asserted-it had cost so much
exertion on the part of man. I, however, simply state the
facts as they fell under my own observation; and I may add
that, during that same night, in the same block of low
tenement buildings, five persons died of that dreadful
scourge.
On the following day, an enthusiastic sister came running to
Elder Stenhouse for him to come and lay hands upon her
husband who had also been attacked by the cholera. She
was a woman of great faith, or thought she was, and she had
no doubt that a wonderful miracle would be wrought. Even
in the midst of the affliction at home she was perfectly jubilant over the idea that the power of the priesthood would be
demonstrated. She had called in several of her neighbors
before the elders arrived, and they stood round the bed of
the sick man.
When the elders reached the house, the livid countenance
of the sufferer told plainly that he was very far gone. Elder
Stenhouse laid his hands upon him in the usual way, but instead of commanding the disease to depart, as it was expected
he would, he prayed that the afflicted brother himself might
pass away in peace. The head of the dying man instantly fell
back upon his pillow, and all was over.
The bereaved woman was almost petrified with surprise and
disappointment, and the unexpected change which had made
her a widow. Elder Stenhouse could only answer that there
was "no virtue in. him;" he had no faith at that moment to
87 
A MOTHER'S SORROW.
heal any one; the former exercise of the gift had exhausted
him. There was, perhaps, more truth in his answer than he
himself imagined.
The poor woman of whom I have spoken must have been
greatly distressed when she saw the promise of miraculous
assistance upon which she had so confidently relied fail her
in such an unexpected manner. But she was not alone in her
disappointment. Many a man and woman who believed that
the laws of nature would be reversed and the decrees of the
Almighty set aside because their faith was strong and they
"expected" God to act in such and such a way, made shipwreck of their hopes as this poor woman did, upon the quicksands of a false expectation.
My husband and myself were invited to take tea at the
house of a brother in Southampton. The brother's name was
Isles, and he and his wife had a child who had been very seriously ill for nearly three weeks. Mr. Stenhouse had frequently
"administered" to him by the laying on of hands.  On the
evening to which I allude the child appeared to be much better, and he even sat up to the tea-table, perched, child-like,
upon his high chair and in accordance with his own earnest request. We all thought that he was doing very nicely.
After tea, and just when we were about to leave, Sister
Isles said:" Brother Stenhouse, please lay your hands upon
my babe, and ask the Lord to bless him, that he may have a
refreshing sleep to-night. My husband complied, and began
by praying that the child might rest well,-when, suddenly, as
if by an irresistible impulse he implored that the child might
die easily and without pain. I instinctively glanced at the
mother, and our eyes met. She looked as if frozen to the
heart; and in a moment we knew that the child was dying,not painfully, but calmly and peacefully, as if he were going
to sleep. The poor mother wept piteously; but my husband bade her not trouble the last moments of the dying
child.
In a few moments all was over; and I-and probably the
mother, too-asked mentally;-if this also is the age of mir
88 
FAITH GIVES PLACE TO THE DOCTOR.
acles —" is the Lord's hand shortened that He cannot save,
or His ear heavy that He will not hear?" We had yet to
learn that the thoughts of God are beyond the comprehension of man.
Since those times when the spirit of enthusiasm and religious zeal animated the Mormon missionaries and teachers, and
stirred up the Saints who listened to them to emulate in faithfulness the Christians of the Early Church, a great change
has come over everything connected with the doctrines which
were then taught and practiced.
Several years after the occurrence of the events which I
have just narrated, when we had been for a considerable time
resident in Salt Lake City, our faith in the miraculous gift of
healing was still so strong that we suffered one of our children
to lie almost at the door of death before we would dare to call
in medical assistance, and when, at length, love for our suffering child overcame, to a certain extent, our scruples, it was
under protest and with many an effort to silence the voice of a
falsely-accusing conscience, that my husband reluctantly went
for the physician.
Now-so great are the changes which the influx of Gentiles
and more intimate contact with the advanced civilisation of the
age have produced-there is not one of the most pious leaders
of the Church including Brother Brigham (who but a very
little while ago denounced such a course as the first step
towards rank apostasy)-who would not call in, if it appeared
needful, the very best medical assistance-whether Mormon
or Gentile-which could be procured. And yet Brigham,
despite his notorious inconsistencies, lays claim to an "Infallible Priesthood!"
The Saints, in theory, still cling to the first teachings of the
Church; but, if the truth must be told, not only does "iniquity
abound," but "the love of many has waxed cold."
89 
CHAPTER VI.
THE FIRST WHISPERINGS OF POLYGAMY.
Meeting a Living "Apostle "-The London Conference-What I Expected Four Apostles at One Time-The Charms of a Priestly Life-Leading About
a "Sister"-The "Mystery of Godliness "-Imitating Solomon-The Form ation of a "Branch"-Doing the Work of the Lord-The Apostle Lorenzo
Snow-An Argument by the Way-Silent Snow-The Apostle Snow Thaws
at the Right Time-How a Convenient Revelation was Thrice Received Unwilling Consent-A Cruel Wrong-He Would be Five Years Away-The
Conference Organised-A Mission to Italy-A Pleasant Position for a Wife The Vicissitudes of a Year-God's Mercy a Safe Trust-A Valedictory Pic nic-Not Far From Netley Abbey-Bidding Good-bye to the Missionaries My Ideas of My Husband's Work-Mary Suggests a New Idea-What She
Said-"I'm Not a Little Girl "-" I Kissed Her, and Continued "-All, all
False-Elder Stenhouse Departs for Italy-Italy is the End of Our Miserable
Hopes-How the Missionaries Departed-I Bid Adieu to My Husband.
BOUT three months after our marriage it was rumored
that four of the Twelve Apostles had been appointed to
foreign missions, and were then on their way to England.
The Saints in Britain had been for several years without
any missionaries direct from the body of the church, and the
announcement of this foreign mission was hailed with joy.
I confess to experiencing much pleasure at the thought of
becoming acquainted with a living Apostle. How often in my
girlhood I had wished that I had lived when men inspired of
God walked the earth. What a joy, I thought, it would have
been to have listened to the wisdom of such teachers. Now
the time was near when I should realise all the happiness of
my day-dreams-when I should really have the privilege of
conversing with those chosen men of God. The invitation,
therefore, to meet the conference in London on the first of
June, was very welcome intelligence. 
THE LONDON CONFERENCE.
It must not, however, be supposed that I expected to find
in them anything which would place them out of the ordinary
pale of humanity. I knew that the Apostles of our Lord were
very ordinary men, who in their day pursued the common
avocations of life. Their charm and glory consisted only in
the fact that the spirit of God rested upon them, guiding
them in all their ways. These men who now were coming to
England were, I firmly believed, as true Apostles as any who
ever saw Christ in the flesh; but they, like the chosen ones
of old, had also the gift of inspiration, and were consecrated
and set apart specially, by direct revelation from on high, to
perform a great and glorious work. But though I did not
expect to find them differ, either in appearance or in ordinary
conversation, much from their brethren, I expected to find in
them grave and very earnest men, and I certainly did experience a sense of disappointment when, in all their conversation and in all their doings, I found that American Prophets
and Apostles were, after all, very much like other men.
We went to the London Conference-my husband and Iand there for the first time I met with Apostles, who were also
Prophets, and Priests, and High-priests, and Teachers, and
Elders, and Deacons-all assembled in solemn convocation.
The four Apostles whom I met at that time were John Taylor, Lorenzo Snow, Erastus Snow, and Franklin D. Richards
-pleasant and agreeable men, and withal very fair specimens
of Mormon missionaries, who had found favor in the eyes of
Brigham Young and of the leaders in Zion, and who had
been promoted accordingly. They lived comfortably, wore
the finest broadcloth, fashionably cut, and were not averse to
gold chains, and charms, and signet-rings, and other personal
adornments. They put on no particular airs, were as polite
and attentive to ladies as gentlemen always are, and could go
to a theatre or any other place of amusement without hesitation. I afterwards discovered that in one particular, at least,
if not in all, they resembled the early Apostles, for they too
could, like St. Paul, "lead about a sister" without any compunctions of conscience.
9I 
LEADING ABOUT A SISTER.
At that time I had not become acquainted with the Mormon "mystery of godliness," and was far from suspecting
these pleasant American Apostles of having even the slightest
inclination to imitate King Solomon or the patriarchs in their
domestic habits. That was to be a discovery of later date.
I do not care to describe this London Conference, as it was
very much like any other meeting of the same kind. It had
been specially called for the purpose of welcoming the four
newly-arrived Apostles. Saints from every part of Britain
were assembled, and a good deal of enthusiasm was manifested. Hymns and prayers were interspersed with speeches,
and business details of all kinds were fully entered into.
The Southampton Saints had hitherto formed only a branch
of the London Conference, but did not form a conference of
their own. It was now resolved that since so large a number
had recently been baptized in Hampshire, the several branches
of the church-there should be organised into a special conference at Southampton, with Elder Stenhouse as its president;
and the Sunday following was appointed for that purpose,
when the Apostle Snow, en roznte to Italy-to which country
he had just been appointed missionary would honor the
occasion with his presence.
As we returned, some gentlemen in the same railway carriage, to while away the time, I suppose, entered into a religious discussion. What the subject was I do not now remember, but I can recollect that a good deal was said as to which
of all the numerous Christian sects really possessed divine
authority. Elder Stenhouse took an active part in the argument, and being, like all the Mormon missionaries at that
time, very well posted in Scriptural discussions, he attracted
considerable attention, and was much complimented by several persons present.
The Apostle Lorenzo Snow was silent all the time, but he
took note of all that passed. Elder Stenhouse was a man of
great zeal and untiring energy-qualities in which perhaps
Brother Snow felt himself a little deficient; and he was going
on a mission which required unflagging devotion and perse
92 
SENT ON A MISSION TO ITALY.
verance. We had not been an hour at home, before he told
my husband that the Lord had thrice revealed to him that he
should accompany him to Italy! How often-even while I
still clung to Mormonism-did it appear strange to me that
the  "revelations" of distinguished Saints should so frequently coincide with their own personal wishes, and come
at such convenient times.
I had laid aside my travelling dress, and was hastening to
provide some refreshment for the Apostle, when my husband
came and told me of the revelation which had been so opportunely received. I was at that time as much an enthusiast as
Elder Stenhouse himself, and I felt honored that my husband
should be the first English elder appointed to a foreign mission.   Here was the fulfilment of my  ambition that we
should be in the forefront of the battle, and should obtain
distinction as zealous servants of God. But at what a cost
was this ambition purchased! My poor, weak heart sickened
at the thought-I had been but four months married.
When the Apostle asked me if I were willing that Elder
Stenhouse should go to Italy, I answered "Yes," though I
felt that my heart would break. I remembered that in my
first transport of joy and gratitude after being baptized, I had
made a covenant with the Lord that I would do anything
which he might require of me, and I dared not rebel or break
that vow. Oh, the agony that fell upon my young heart; it
seemed that the weight of a mountain rested upon it when I
was told that my husband might be five years absent. He
had already been five years a travelling elder, without a home,
trusting for daily bread to the voluntary kindness of the
Saints. He had labored faithfully, and looked forward to the
day when his "conference" should be established, and he
could count upon an improvement in his temporal position,
and an early call to emigrate to Zion. In the few months
that I had been his wife, it was only natural that I should
share his hopes; but just at the moment when they were
about to be realised, hopes and expectations were scattered to
the winds.
93 
" L'HOMAIE PROPOSE ET DIEU DISPOSE,."
On the following day the Saints assembled, the Southampton Conference was organised, and Elder Stenhouse elected
its president. Ten minutes later he was publicly appointed
by the Apostle on a mission to Italy.
In one short year what changes I had seen.  I had relinquished a happy home in France and forsaken the friends of
my youth; I had set aside an alliance that promised wealth
and honor, to embrace a faith that was everywhere ridiculed,
and to cast in my lot among a people universally regarded as
dupes and fools; I had married a missionary elder who could
offer me nothing but toil and privation; and now to complete
the changes of an eventful year, my husband was about to
leave me-probably for five years, and in fact it was very possible that I might never see him again. All this for faith-a
faith no doubt mistaken, but certainly sincere.
During the few days which intervened between the time
when Elder Stenhouse received his appointment, to the hour
of his departure, I enjoyed but little of his society. Arranging the affairs of the conference which he was leaving, and
preparation for his mission, fully occupied his attention. I
do not think we either of us uttered a word, when alone
together, respecting the future that was before us. It was
probably better that we did not. There are moments of our
life when silence is better than speech, and it is safer to trust
in the mercy of God than try to shape our own destiny.
The Saints are noted for the fraternal spirit which exists
among them. There are, of course, exceptions; but, as a rule,
every Mormon is willing to help his brother in the faith, acting upon the principle, "One is your Master, even Christ:
and all ye are brethren." The Southampton Saints were no
exception to this rule, but showed their kindness both to my
husband and myself in a thousand little ways. I have spoken
of my unhappiness during that week of preparation, but I
must not forget that there were gleams of hope in the darkness. One occasion I shall never forget-a pic-nic which our
friends held as a kind of valedictory feast in honor of the
missionaries-Qf Elder Stenhouse in particular.
94 
A PARTING PIC-NIC AT BITTERN.
Right up the Southampton River, not far from Netley
Abbey, is a pleasant and picturesque spot named Bittern,
which I need not too particularly describe, although the
memory of its beauty recalls recollections of mingled sadness'
and pleasure to my mind. There my parents now lived, and
thither it was proposed our friends should go. They could
obtain all they needed for the pic-nic at my father's house,
and we could take our good things into the woods and enjoy
ourselves as we pleased.  We had a very happy time-for the
moment, even I forgot the cloud that was hanging over me,
and our dear friends not only enjoyed themselves to the
utmost, but seemed bent upon making the time pass pleasantly to everyone else.
I had been talking to Sister White about the recent doings
of the Saints, the establishment of the conference and the
sending away of Elder Stenhouse. I wanted Sister White, as
in fact I wanted everyone else, to think that I was perfectly
happy in the separation, and that I counted my feelings as
a wife as nothing when placed in the balance against my duty
as a missionary, and I tried to impress upon her how proud I
was that my husband should be the first English Elder
entrusted with a foreign mission. We talked together a great
deal. She was still quite a young woman, though married,
and the mother of four darling little children; but probably
she had a better experience than I had and could see through
my attempts to stifle my natural feelings, while at the same
time she sympathised with me. She spoke very kindly to
me; and as we talked, we wandered inadvertently away from
the rest of the party. Suddenly she thought of her little boy,
and, mother-like, thinking he might be in danger, ran off to
find where he was, promising to come back immediately.
I sat down upon the grass to await her return. I was
somewhat excited by the conversation which had passed
between us; but as I sat musing my agitation began to cool
down and I was soon lost in thought and did not notice that
I was not alone.
I did not hear the light footsteps near me, and did not sce
95 
FIRST WHISPERINGS OF POLYGAMY.
my fairy friend, as I called her, pass between me and the sun.
But a tiny hand was laid gently on my shoulder, and looking
up I saw the loving eyes of Mary Burton looking straight
down into mine.
"Where have you been, dear?" I asked, "Why, I have
hardly seen you all the day."
"But I knew you were here," she said, "and I thought you
were alone-and I wanted to see you and talk with you."
"Come and sit down beside me, Mary," I said, "and let us
have a little chat together." Then I drew her gently towards
me, and she sat down by my side. For a few moments we
said nothing, but I was watching her, and waiting to hear
what she would say. She seemed such a pretty, such a
sweet and gentle girl-more like one of those little birds of
glorious plumage and thrilling song that we see glittering
among the dew-drops and the dancing leaves, than a child of
earth. And I pitied her for her beauty, for such beauty is a
snare; and I wondered whether her innocent soul was as fair
and glorious before God as her face was sweet to me; and I
asked whether, in years to come, when the glory of her childish radiance had passed away, the brightness of a soul pure
and serene would lend a new beauty to her features-the
beauty not of childish innocence but of a noble womanhood.
I took her hand in mine, and asked her some trifling question; but she did not answer. Suddenly she looked up full
into my face and said, "Sister Stenlouse; I'm very, very sorry
for you."
"Sorry for me, dear?" I said, " Wily should you be sorry?
I am not sad."
"You shouldn't say so," she replied, "you know in your
heart you are sad, although you don't say so. It's a fine
thing, no doubt, for Elder Stenhouse to go away, though for
my part I'd rather stop at home if I loved any one there, and
at-any-rate, you must feel sorry that he is going away so far,
if you love him."
"But Mary," I said, "you know it is his duty to go, and he
has been called to it by the Apostle, and it is a great honor."
96 
A STORY THAT WAS TOLD IN SECRET.
"Oh yes, I know that," she replied-" I know that."  Then
we relapsed into silence for some few moments. Presently
drawing nearer to me, she said again quite suddenly, "Sister
Stenhouse, do you know the meaning of the word Polyganmy!"
"Why, what a funny question to ask me, child!" I exclaimed.
"Child, you call me, Sister Stenhouse, but I'm not a childat least not quite a child-I shall be fifteen next birthday."
"Well dear," I said, "I did not mean to offend you; and
I call you'child' because I love you; but you asked me such
a strange question and used such a strange word."
This was quite true, for at that time the word Polygamy
was as seldom used as the word'polyandry,' or any other
word signifying a state of things with which we have nothing
to do.
"I'm not offended," she said, "only people have a way of
treating me as if I were only such a very little girl:-I suppose I look so."
She certainly did look so, and I suppose she read my
thoughts. Womanhood, by and by, brought to her more of
reality both in face and figure as well as in the terrible facts
of life; but at that time the term "little fairy," which I have
so often used respecting her, seemed the most appropriate.
The meaning of that terrible word "Polygamy" she understood, in later years, fully as well as I did.
"Well dear," I said, "Why did you ask me that strange
question?"
"You must promise not to be angry with me if I tell you,"
she answered, "and yet I think you ought to know."
I readily promised-what could I have refused her?-and
she said:
"The other day two of the Sisters were at our house-I
may not tell you their names for fear of making mischief
and they were talking together between themselves and did
not notice that I was present-or else they didn't care. And
I heard one of them tell the other that she had heard secretly
that in Zion men were allowed to have many wives, and she
97 
~ SHE WAS NOT CONVINCED."
used that word "Polygamy" very often, and said that was
what the people of the world called it."
"Well, Mary dear," I replied, "that is no great secret.  We
have all heard that said before. Wicked people who hate the
Gospel say that, and a great deal more, in order to bring
scandal upon the Church; but of course it isn't true."
"Ah, but I haven't told you all," she said, "the sisters had
a long talk about it and they explained who they heard it
from, and it was from no one outside the Church; and then
one of them said that Elder Stenhouse had heard all about it
and knew it was true, only of course he did not talk about
such things yet; but that the time would come when everyone would acknowledge it, and all the Saints would have
many wives. I was frightened when I heard this, and very
angry-for I thought of you-and I spoke to her and said it
was all untrue and I'd ask Elder Stenhouse; and they
scolded me very much for saying so, and said it was very
wicked for a child to listen, and that was why I did not like
you to call me'child."'
"Well darling," I said, "I'll not offend you any more in
that way-and it was very good of you to tell me anything
you thought I ought to know." Then I kissed her, and continued: "But, after all, I don't think it's of any consequence.
It's the old scandal, just as in the early days they said wicked
things of Christ and His apostles. Elder Stenhouse knows all
that people say, but he has told me again and again that there
is not a word of truth in it, and I believe him."
"You think so, Sister Stenhouse," she replied, "and I suppose I ought to think so too, but if it's all false how did
people first begin to think of it? People don't say that the
Mormons are murderers or thieves, because we have given
them no reason to think so. Then why should they think of
such an unheard-of thing as Polygamy- surely there must
have been some reason. Don't you think so?"
"No, dear," I answered, " Elder Stenhouse says that some
very wicked men have sometimes joined the Church, and
have done all manner of shocking things, so that they had to
98 
DEPARTURE OF THE MISSIONARIES -I AM LEFT ALONE. 99
be cut off, and then they went about trying to make other
people believe that the Mormons were as wicked as they
were. There was John C. Bennett who lived a frightful life
at Nauvoo, and then tried to make out that Joseph Smith
was as bad as he was. And Marsh, the president of the
twelve apostles, and Orson Hyde, when they apostatised not
only said bad things of Joseph, but took affidavit and swore
solemnly before the magistrates that the prophet had been
guilty of the'most fearful crimes."
I kissed her again, and she said, "Well, perhaps you are
right"; but I could see that in her heart she was not
convinced.
Then we talked of ourselves and all that interested us, and
she told me all her childish hopes and ambitions; and to meyoung as I was myself-it was pleasant to listen to her innocent prattle. She promised to come and see me when
Elder Stenhouse had gone and I should be left alone; and
when we got back to the rest of the party we were as firm
friends as if we had known each other a lifetime.
At midnight, Saturday, June I5th, I850, the steamer left
Southampton for Havre-de-Grace, bearing on board the first
two Mormon Missionaries to Italy-one of them was my
husband.
The Saints had called in the evening to bid Elder Stenhouse good-bye, and as he was, of course, to travel "without
purse or scrip," they vied with each other in showing their
appreciation of his position and his devotion to the faith.
The poorest among them would not be denied the privilege
of contributing their mites to aid in the conversion of the
Italians, and none of the brethren felt that they could show too
much kindness to the departing missionary. Just in this way
have all the foreign missions of the Mormon Church been
projected and sustained; the elements of success were always
present-devotion and self-abnegation on the part of the
missionaries, and an earnest, self-sacrificing disposition on the
part of the people, commanding respect, however erroneous
or foolish the foundation of their faith.
7 
THE LORD WILL PROVIDE.
In the bustle of departure, Mr. Stenhouse seemed never to
have thought about himself, and certainly he made no preparation for me. I had full confidence in him, however, and loved
him devotedly, and knew that my love was returned. But
men who look for miracles, and count upon special providences for daily bread, are not generally very prudent or farseeing in their domestic arrangements. Elder Stenhouse had
been told that "the Lord would provide," and it therefore
seemed to him superfluous that he should interfere; it would
have been a lack of faith to have shown too much interest in
what might become of me. He left me with only ~i.
I now realised the loneliness of my position,-there was no
earthly friend to Whom I could turn for sympathy at a time
like this. Before my Heavenly Father alone I could pour out
the bitterness of my soul and all my griefs, and ia His presence weep'and pray.
I00 
CHAPTER VII.
MY HUSBAND'S MISSION:-I AM LEFT ALONE.
The  Italian Mission-A  Saint's Responsibility-Obliging  a  Friend-The
Pains and Penalties of a Saintly Life-My Letters to my Husband-The
Whisperings of the Coming Storm-Polygamy Denied-The Wretched Sub terfuges of Certain Elders-The Lying Basis of Polygamy-What Apostle
Taylor said-My  Personal Experience-How  Polygamy was Introduced
among the Saints-I want to find My own Groove-Suffering for Con science Sake-Lonely Contemplation of a Weary Soul-The American Apos tles-"Without Purse or Scrip "-The  Swiss Mission-My own Enthusi asm-My Darling Clara-Lighting the "load" of Love-Mary Burton's Love
Affairs-The Apostle Lorenzo Snow-Missionary Work-I Bear my own
Troubles Alone-The Difficulties of Missionary Work-A Shoemaker who
respected his Soul-Work Indefatigable-Le Governeur d6 L' Hopital Our New Convert-Days of Poverty-Practical Faith-How we Endured The Darkness which Proceeds the Dawn-The Suffering of all who Work
to Win.
HEN  the Apostle Snow called upon Mr. Stenhouse to
go to Italy, the Saints willingly accepted the responsibility of providing for me during his absence.
They thought it was more an honor than a burden to have
this charge committed to them; but it was very humiliating to
me to be placed in such a position, however anxious they
might be to assist me and to serve the general cause. To
face opposition or to give my all for my religion, I was willing
indeed; but to depend upon others for my daily bread was
utterly repugnant to my feelings, although, of course, if the
Church sent away my husband, whose proper place and duty
it was to support his family, it was only right that the members of that Church should undertake the responsibility. But 
A MORMON MISSIONARY'S WIFE.
then, and at many other times during my life, I have learned
the truth of Christ's precept "It is more blessed to give than
to receive."
The American Apostle was not without worldly wisdom
when he proposed that an unmarried man should be appointed
to preside over the Southampton conference, as his wants
would be few. But Mr. Stenhouse had been solicited by a
friend who had a wife and children, to secure his appointment, and with ready confidence in that friend, he overlooked
his own interests and my welfare, and I was left to pass
through trials and privations which I can never forget.
The Saints were very kind, and took pleasure in doing all
they could for me; but the mistake which my husband cotmmitted in leaving his friend to succeed him as president of the
conference was soon apparent.  The' friend' thought of his
own family first, and the family required all that the Saints
could reasonably be expected to contribute, and even then
they had not enough. I therefore received only such little
sums  as could be withheld from them, and to make the
matter worse those who had any property or estate were
counselled to sell all and "gather to Zion."  The  mfore wealthy Saints were soon gone, and the current expenses of the
church fell heavily upon those who were hardly able to support their own families.
They tried to send me something every week, and I have
no doubt they did send me all that they could. When their
contributions reached four or five shillings (about $I) I
thought myself fortunate; more often I did not receive the
value of fifty cents in the whole week, at times less, and sometimes nothing at all. That unfailing comfort to respectable
English poverty-a cup of tea-was my greatest luxury, but
at times for weeks together I had not even that; I had nothing but bread-but I never complained.
Whenever it was possible I concealed my true situation
from every one, and in my almost daily letters to my husband
not a shadow of a hint was ever dropped relative to my own
privations. I wanted him to be successful in his mission,
I02 
A DECEITFUL "APOSTLE'"-POLYGAMY DENIED.  I03
and I feared that his energy would desert him if he knew of my
difficulties. I was in extreme poverty, certainly, but for myself I was not in trouble. God would provide for me, I felt,
and it was glorious to suffer in a sacred cause.
But darker days-days of severer trial, were creeping slowly
near me. Up to this time I had worshipped God and loved
my husband with a perfect heart. Now the dark shadow of
an accursed thing was looming in the distance, but approaching surely if slowly. The strange suggestions made by darling little Mary Burton at the pic-nic, were not the first
whisperings that I had heard of a probable change in our
faith and practice respecting marriage, though I did not care
to tell her so. Others had spoken in my presence of the
same subject, but I had not believed them. I had questioned my husband, and his answers had reassured me.
Although Polygamy was utterly denied by the Missionaries
in Europe, yet long before it was openly avowed a great deal
was written and said on the subject. Joseph Smith, whatever
he said and did in private, always denied it in public, and after
his death the leaders of the Church followed his example.
In some way, however, an idea had got abroad that the Mormons were somewhat unsound respecting the marriage question. Still the elders stoutly denied the charge, and the
more they were accused the more strenuous became their
denials.
At a public discussion at Boulogne-sur-mer in France, the
Apostle John Taylor, in reply to the accusations of Polygamy
which were brought against him, said:
"We are accused here of actions the most indelicate and disgusting, such
as none but a corrupt and depraved heart could have contrived. These things
were too outrageous to admit of belief.......  I shall content myself
with quoting our views of chastity and marriage from a work published by us,
containing some of our articles of faith-Doctrine and Covenants."
He then proceeded to quote from the Book of Doctrine and
Covenants" such passages as the following:
"Marriage is ordained by God unto man; wherefore it is lawful that he
should have one wife, and they twain should be one flesh.  [p. 218]. 
104   THE FLIRTATIONS OF A DISTINGUISHED ELDER.
He quoted many other things also, among which might be
enumerated the following:
" Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her,
and none else."
He quoted also many other passages of Scripture which had
reference to the subject;-each powerful to put aside even
the idea of polygamy; and each equally powerful as an argument against polygamy itself.
Let the reader here note the value of what Mormons say
when their faith is called in question:-See and judge:  Brother Taylor, who spoke at that meeting, and utterly
denied polygamy, had himself-at that very moment when he
so atrociously perjured himself and when he swore that no
Mormon had more than one  wife-five wives living in Salt
Lake City: One of his friends there present had two wives;
and the other was married to a mother and her own
daughter!
Any conclusion, any expression of disgust at these abominations and deliberate perjuries, I leave to the reader.
Among those who came to see Mr. Stenhouse before he
left for Italy, was Elder Margetts, an English elder of some
prominence in the British mission. At the pic-nic, of which
I have already spoken, I noticed that this elder was more than
usually attentive to a pretty young sister who was also present. There was always an affectionate familiarity among the
Saints; as I previously mentioned, they were like brothers
and sisters, and addressed each other as such. But the attentions of the elder I speak of pointed a little beyond all this.
He could not, perhaps, be accused of any open impropriety,
but he certainly looked much more like the girl's lover than
an ordinary friend or her spiritual adviser.
I knew this Elder's family in London, and his conduct
pained me a good deal. So I drew the attention of my husband to the circumstance, and he said the Elder was foolish
but he would speak to them both; and this he did.
After the departure of the missionaries, this elder remained
for several days. He then returned to London, but it was not 
PREPARING THE WAY FOR THE NEW DOCTRINE.   I05
long before he was again in Southampton, and he still paid
marked attention to the same young sister. This caused unpleasant remarks among the Saints, who at this time certainly did  not believe that polygamy  was  practiced  in
Utah.
At a later date this Elder, with some others, was again in
Southampton, and I was invited to take tea with them at the
house of one of the Saints. In the course of the evening
there was a general conversation on "the work of the Lord,"
-in which I, of course, was greatly interested.
Whenever any of the missionaries were visiting, the Saints
would seek their society just like children who were glad to
meet again their parents after a long absence; and at such
times they were at liberty to ask what questions they pleased.
On the evening I speak of, I well remember that the general
subject of conversation was the apostasy of the Christian
Church from the true order of God's salvation. Prominence
was given to the history of Abraham and his descendants, and
occasional allusion was made to their marital relations; but
nothing directly was spoken. It was very evident that these
elders only wanted to drop a word or two here and there to
suit those who wanted it, but nevertheless they spoke so obscurely and mysteriously that they could easily have retracted
what was said if any one had accused them of teaching a doctrine which they were unwilling openly to avow.
When I returned home that night I was fully satisfied that
the Elder I have spoken of had a reason for his frequent visits
to Southampton, and shortly after, the young sister went to
London. Whether Polygamy was ever to be a doctrine of the
Church or not, it was very clear to me that the London Elder
was a polygamist at heart.  The more my mind dwelt on
these things, the more sick at heart did I become, and faint
and weary.
I had, however, personal cares and trials enough to engage
my attention. I found that I could not depend upon the
Saints to provide me with even the barest necessaries of life,
so I looked about me and made enquiries for some light em 
TRIALS OF A SAD AND LONELY WIFE.
ployment by which I might support myself. My health at
that time would not have allowed me to do much, but for a
long time I could not get anything at all to do. I had, of
course, been used to teaching, but employment of that kind it
was just then impossible for me to take, even if I could have
got it; the only resource which seemed left to me was to
find occupation for my needle, and it was a long and weary
time before I could obtain even this.
At length I got a little plain sewing to do, and out of the
miserable pittance thus earned I contrived to pay my rent and
provide a few necessaries; but at times that too was beyond
my power, and I have gone a fortnight at a time with nothing
to eat but dry bread. Still my faith never failed. And thus
the weary days passed by.
Now, however, a new interest began to gather round my life,
for I expected before the end of the year the arrival of a little
stranger to share my affections and my care. This certainly
was a sad beginning of domestic bliss, but still the thought
was pleasant to me. I had at that time no one to aid me or
comfort me. The Saints were very kind, but they could not
supply the place of an absent husband. My dearest friend,
Mary Burton, used to come as often as she could to see me,
and her presence was like a gleam of sunshine; but she was
so young, and innocent, and happy that I had not the heart to
trouble her with my sorrows. All my jewelry and trinkets
and the greater part of my wardrobe had gone in providing for
my daily wants and in preparing those necessary trifles upon
which a young mother bestows so much loving care. My
health was daily failing, and sometimes I doubted if I should
ever be well and strong again. But all that I suffered was for
the Church, and that thought sustained me.
Often I would sit alone and think-think of the past and
all my early day-dreams of love, and hope, and bliss; think of
my husband in a far-off land devoting his life and all his energies to the preaching of the latter-day glory; think of those
whisperings of that accursed doctrine which has since brought
desolation and anguish to the hearts of so many weary women;
Io6 
a
THE MISSIONARY IN ITALY.
think of my future life, dark as its promise even then appeared.
Sometimes I heard from Italy, heard how my husband was
progressing with his work, and with wifely love I sympathised
with him in all his difficulties, for he told me how arduous the
task was in which he was engaged.
It was not the expectation of the Mormon Apostles that the
missionaries would do much in Catholic Italy. The same
causes were in operation there as affected the work in France.
Few, if any, really good Roman Catholics have ever joined the
Saints. The Irish Mission was never successful, and the same
may be said of the French and Italian Missions. In France
and Italy by far the greater part of the people might be classed
under two heads-Roman Catholics, and infidels.   The first
had already an infallible guide in which they trusted, and as
for the infidels, they ridiculed the idea of any guide at all.
Both classes were utterly devoid of that acquaintance with
Scripture of which the Mormon Missionaries understood so
well how to take advantage, and which rendered them so susceptible to religious influences which took the Bible as their
basis. The Missionaries in Italy soon experienced the difficulties presented by these facts.
After their arrival in Genoa, Mr. Stenhouse was directed to
carry the gospel to the Waldenses-those brave old Protestants
of the dark ages, who so manfully suffered, even unto death, for
conscience sake; and some time after he had begun his labors
among them, the Apostle Snow joined him.
Whatever they might believe or teach theoretically, there
can be no doubt that the American Apostles were largely endowed with the "organ" of caution. Preaching without purse
or scrip among people who either detest you as a heretic or
else regard you with profound indifference is not a pleasant
task, and the Mormon Apostles very prudently "took up" liberal collections in England before they started. Had it not
been for this common-sense proceeding I am at a loss to say
what would have become of the Missionaries in Italy; and as
it was, their lot was not a very enviable one.
1o7 
WANTED-"THE GIFT OF TONGUES."
Besides the scarcity of money, the other great difficulty experienced by the Missionaries was learning the language of
their destined converts.   For many years, it was supposed
among the Saints that the "Gift of Tongues" would be all-sufficient for this purpose. The two distinguished Apostles, Orson
and Parley P. Pratt, whose writings did so much for Mormonism, had both of them eloquently discussed the subject in print;
but the Missionaries soon discovered that for practical purposes the "gift" was not of much service; and the two Pratts
themselves afterwards experienced-the one in South America
and the other in Austria-the fallacy of their theories.  Without the "gift" in any shape the work in Italy was necessarily
very slow, and an Elder who could speak a little French was
sent out from London to assist them. They had at last come
to the conclusion that if the Lord would not bestow the "gift"
upon them, they must try to acquire it themselves.
The Apostle Snow now thought of sending the Gospel to
the Swiss, and Mr. Stenhouse was selected for the work. But
before he went it was determined that the Church in Italy
should be "organised," and about a week later, I received a
long account of how this was done.   I heard how, one pleasant November morning, the Apostle Snow, Elders Stenhouse
and Woodward, together with several Waldenses whom they
had converted, ascended the mountain-side contiguous to La
Tour, and overlooking the fertile valley of Pinerello. There
they sang praises and prayed:-they christened the place
" Mount Brigham;" and the stone upon which the three elders
stood and offered up a written prayer, they named "The Rock
of Prophecy"; and there they organised the church-dedicating
the soil of Italy to the Lord. Moreover, then and there,
my husband was solemnly consecrated a "High-Priest, after
the Order of the Son of God."
All this I heard, and much more; and in confiding faith that
this was indeed a great and glorious work, I rejoiced that I
had been accounted worthy to suffer patiently at home, if only
my husband might successfully fulfil his task abroad.
After that I heard that he had left Italy and had arrived in
Io8 
LITTLE CLARA INTRODUCED TO THE WORLD.
Geneva, believing that he would be more successful among the
Swiss than the Italians.
A few days after the arrival of the Missionary in Geneva,
an event occurred which interested my own self personallymy little Clara was born. Very happy was I when I looked
upon her tiny little face for the first time and kissed her for
being the prettiest baby in the world: very happy was I when
I folded her in my arms and talked to her as if she could understand all that I said-very happy indeed, as I looked at her
again and again, and marvelled whether she really could be
indeed and certainly my own baby girl. It seemed as if baby's
papa would never come back again, but I had a companion
now in my child; and weak and weary as I was, with new responsibilities and less power to help myself, I found comfort
in my new care, and realised the truth of the old Scotch song:
"Muckle lichter is the load,
When Juve bears up the creel."
I was not now alone.
Then, too, came round to see me, Mary Burton. She was
as fond and tender to me as ever, and tripped quietly about
the roorm, and tried to wait upon me, and sat by the bed, playing with baby, calling her all the pretty things she could
think of, and I felt that her presence brought new light and
life to my room. She brought me another letter from my husband, and I found that he was now acquiring for himself the
"gift" of the French tongue, unable to do much else, as he and
everybody didn't understand each other. He could not yet
talk to the French-speaking Genevese; and the English-speaking residents would not listen to him; they'had only heard of
Mormonism as a clumsy fraud, and looked upon the prophet
Joseph Smith as an impostor. So, for a,whole winter, he sat
shut up in his own room poring over a French grammar, and
deploring his hard fate in being denied the gift of tongues.
In the spring of the new year I received a distinguished
visitor who kindly interested himself in my welfare. The
Apostle Lorenzo Snow left Piedmont for England and passed
through Geneva egg route.   On his way to London he called
Io9 
RE-UNITED.
upon me at Southampton, and expressed much sympathy for
me.-he noticed the change in my appearance, and immediately
sent for Mr. Stenhouse to return to England. He acted very
kindly by me at that time; did all that he could to assist me,
and said that he never again would ask any man to make such
a sacrifice. I fully appreciated all his kindness; but much as I
wanted to, I did not venture to ask him about the truth or
falsity of those terrible suggestions which I had heard whispered of late.
My husband hastened home, coming by way of Calais, in
order to meet his president and receive his instructions. The
Apostle showed much sympathy for him, and very early in the
morning accompanied him some miles to the railway station;
but he never once mentioned how I had been situated in
Southampton until he left him, and then he exacted from him
a promise not to open his lips whatever he might learn.
I need not say that I was happy to see my husband once
again, and to present to him his little daughter who was now
five months old. He was, of course, soon busy in visiting the
Saints, and he received from them many tokens of attachment.
In the beginning of June a General Conference of the
branches of the Church in Britain was held in London. The
Apostles and foreign Missionaries were present, and my husband and I were also there. We had speeches and prayers.
The business of the Conference occupied but very few minutes,
for no measure was questioned. Among the Mormons there
are no opinions, no discussion. The presiding head has made
out his programme before he comes to the conference; he
knows what he wants to do, and no one ever questions him.
IHe may perhaps for form's sake invite the brethren to speak
on any point he introduces; but when he has furnished the
clew to his wishes, the Elders who speak only spend their time
in arguments in favor of his measures. At the Conference of
which I speak the reports of the native elders were very cheering to us. Throughout England and Wales they had been
most successful in adding members to the Church. Mormonism was then most successfully preached in Britain. There
IIO 
HOW THEY KEPT THE SECRET.
were more Mormons there than in all Utah Territory: there
were fifty Conferences, with over seven hundred organised
"Branches," and more than six thousand men  ordained to
the priesthood. That peculiar influence which the Mormons
call "the Spirit," of which I have spoken, elsewhere, was
spoken of by the Elders as being a common experience everywhere.
During all that Conference, I listened carefully for a word
from the lips of any of the speakers which might indicate in
any way that Polygamy was part of the Mormon faith; but
not a whisper, not a hint was uttered. I naturally concluded
that the Elders, whose doubtful expressions at Southampton
had so troubled my mind, were misinformed or unsafe men.
Still I could not altogether banish my apprehension of coming
evil; but so bound to secresy were those who did know of
Polygamy being practiced in Utah, that there was not one
who would admit it, and even my own husband's lips were
sealed to me. He did not deny it, but he would not talk
about it, and did everything he could to banish the thought
from my mind.
At that Conference the Apostle Snow spoke very strongly
of the way in which I had been neglected; and it was
arranged that Elder Stenhouse should return to Switzerland,
and that I should accompany him. My knowledge of French
was expected to be very serviceable.
We now made preparations for an early departure, and prepared to leave our friends. To the reader it may seem strange
for a man, his wife, and babe, to be sent out in this way on a
mission without any proper arrangement for their maintenance, but to my mind, at the time, it seemed to me not only
perfectly proper, but altogether in accordance with God's word
and commandment.
My young friend, Mary Burton, came round to bid me goodbye; and the poor girl wept, and I wept with her, and we
kissed one another tenderly as our tears mingled. We had
become very dear to each other, and the thought of separation for years, or perhaps for ever, was very painful to us.
I I I 
" WE THREE SET FORTH."
She hung about my neck at the last moment, kissing me and
begging me not to forget to write to her very, very often, and
this I gladly promised her, asking the same in return. Then
with a fond embrace we parted, and it was years before I saw
her dear face again.
Thus it was that we three-my husband, my babe, and
myself-set forth on our pilgrimage to convert the Swiss.
It was with no ordinary feelings that I entered the ancient
city of Geneva. I was not ignorant of its history and the
struggles of its inhabitants for civil and religious liberty. It
had been the refuge for the English Protestants during the
fiery days of Queen Mary, just as in the time of the French
Revolution it was the refuge of infidel and Papist, royalist
and republican alike;-there Calvin lived in gloomy austerity, battling with Rome; there Servitus, the Unitarian, was
condemned to be roasted alive as a heretic; and there we
expected in our own humble way to be able to testify, by our
suffering and patience, to what we firmly believed was the
truth.
In free countries like England and the United States-free
from the surveillance of a military police, it is easy, if he
wishes it, for the Missionary to mount a chair at a street corner, or hold forth under a tree, and such has often been done.
But all over continental Europe there is hardly a place where
this would be possible. In the various grand duchies, kingdoms, and empires, paternal governments look too closely
after the morals and religion of their subjects; while under
the ephemeral republics, as long as they happen to last, there
is often to be found, under the name of liberty, a despotism
more despotic than under the rule of royalty.  It is the colporteur, the man of books and tracts, who makes the converts
there, and in this slow way we soon found that we were destined to proceed.
During my husband's former stay in Geneva he had had
neither Mormon books nor Mormon papers, with the exception
of a paper published at Boulogne, containing a letter by the
apostle Taylor, in French and English. This single copy he
II2 
V
a 
"I 
jj\~~~~~~~
ffi~
I 
ATTACKING THE SHOEMAKER. 
HOW THE TAILOR WAS ORDAINED A PRIEST.
lent to a Genevese to read, and never saw it again.; and yet
in a short time, even before he could properly speak French,
he converted and baptized two men in the Rhone, one of
whom is to-day a devoted Mormon in Southern Utah.
His first attack was upon a shoemaker whom he visited for
the purpose of repairs.  While the shoemaker worked, Elder
Stenhouse talked; and as the English are all reputed wealthy
on the Continent, the friendly overtures of the Mormon Missionary were graciously received. As they grew intimate,
Elder Stenhouse would sit down on the bench beside the man
as he worked, and taking from his pocket a French Testament, which he always carried about with him, would try to
read it aloud-the good-natured shoemaker undertaking to correct his pronunciation.   In this way he kept his auditor's
attention constantly fixed upon certain passages, more especially those which spoke of baptism for the remission of sins,
and the laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.
So persistent was he that at last the shoemaker's curiosity
was awakened, and finally he was baptized; but unfortunately,
not long after, a small pamphlet upon the mission of Joseph
Smith fell into his hands and made shipwreck of his faith.
With his second convert he was much more successful.
This time it was his landlord who was to be the subject of
attack. He was a tailor, and, fortunately for the Missionary,
somewhat talkative. The same arrangement was made about
reading and correction, and with a like result-the tailor was
baptized. Just at this time came the Apostle Snow's letter
telling my husband to return to England; and as he might
not leave the country without a representative, he ordained
the tailor a Priest in the Mormon Church.
When we arrived in Geneva, Monsieur le tailleur was all
that constituted the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day
Saints in Switzerland.
Soon a few personal friends began to gather to hear the
English Missionary tell about the new religion, and my husband being very much in earnest, interest before long began
to be excited. I remember well our first meetings among the
I I 5 
e
MY OWN MISSIONARY WORK.
Swiss:-half-a-dozen people sitting round a table with open
Bibles before them, passages from which Mr. Stenhouse was
trying in very bad French to make them understand. I pitied
him very much, but those who were present made as if they
did not notice his embarrassment, and listened with marked
attention. Among the Mormons it is a woman's duty to keep
silence; I therefore remained a listener only. But at the
close of the service-for such it was regarded-when I might
speak, my missionary labors began, I was aroused to eloquence, and our parting was longer than our meeting.
The warmth with which the few who were present responded
to our efforts satisfied me that they had come under the same
mysterious influence which I had observed in England. I
was then convinced that Mormonism could awaken the Christian soul more to a realisation of what it already possessed,
than impart to it any new moral or religious qualities. Mormonism of itself never made Christians, but Christianity
built up Mormonism. It was an awakening to the teachings
of Christ and his Apostles that begat confidence in the mission of the Mormon Prophet.
Although we observed the very strictest economy, it did
not take long for us to exhaust what little money we brought
from England. This placed us in a very awkward position.
It is inconvenient enough to be without money in one's own
country, where one understands and is understood by everybody; but to be in a strange land, especially in a country like
Switzerland, where every Englishman is supposed to be a
"milor" and the bounteous dispenser of unlimited wealth, it is
more than inconvenient.
We left our first quarters, where we had had so many visitors,
and rented a room from a widow woman, who fortunately was
not inquisitive. She had a family of children to support, and
as we paid our rent monthly in advance, she had no occasion
to know whether or not we kept a bank account, and we were
thankful that it was so, for, had it been so ordained, we could
there have starved to death without attracting the notice of
any one.-A nice thing to be thankful for.
II6 
" AS BLACK AS THE DEVIL."
We were not hopeless, though we were heavy-hearted; but
we had expected trial, and could not complain, for we knew
from the beginning that thus it would probably be.
One day my husband received a letter from an infidel gentleman who lived in Lausanne-a neighboring canton-requesting him to come and see him, that they might talk
together over Mormonism, for he had heard of us and of our
doctrine, and my husband resolved to visit him before our
money was all gone.
When Mr. Stenhouse reached Lausanne, he visited first a
Protestant minister with whom he had some slight acquaintance, and who was also interested in Mormonism, and told
him that he was going to call upon the Governeur de
l'Hopital. The minister was greatly opposed to my husband
visiting such a man. "He is a socialist," he said-" a revolutionist; he fought at the barricades; he is a mauvais sujet,
and anything but a fit person to be spoken to about religion."
This only increased the interest which Mr. Stenhouse felt
in the Governor, and made him more than ever determined to
see him; and he did see him, although the good minister had
represented him "aussi noir que le diable."  So they met; and
my husband began the work for which he had come. They
had long talks together, and my husband-as did the Elders
ever in such cases-spoke to the Governor of redemption
through Christ, and baptism for the remission of sins. Faith
is not an act of the will. Like the unseen wind, it comes, and
we see the power thereof, but know not whence it proceeds.
Thus at first the unbelieving Governor found it-he might
find himself no match for the arguments of his opponent, but
he could not force his heart to believe, and he was by no
means a willing convert. My husband, however, remained
with him, and before he left, the Governor had been baptized
into the Church.
Our new convert proved to be a most excellent and worthy
man, notwithstanding his former infidelity, and he was subsequently a great aid to us in our mission. We felt satisfied
8
IIt7 
I"THE  LORD WILL PROVIDE."
that the expenses of that journey had been well spent,
although a few francs at that time could ill be spared.
But our circumstances seemed to be getting worse and
worse, and my health began to fail. For several months
neither of us had had sufficient nourishment, and my anxieties
increased my physical weakness; I was dispirited, yet I feared
to complain, or even to let my husband know what I felt. At
length I was really ill, and could not leave my bed. I well
remember the solemn silence that reigned in our home one
day. I had risen from my bed, weak, and Oh, so fainthearted, that I had scarcely any desire to live; and I was
sitting with my little daughter in my arms. She had cried
herself to sleep, cold and hungry, and much as I loved hernay, idolised her-I confess that for an instant, I harbored in
my soul the impious, the unnatural wish, that rather than s e
my darling awake again to cold and hunger, she might sle(ep
her sweet young life away.   For me to yield to such a
thought-to wish my child to wake no more-I, who would
have given gladly the last drop of my life-blood to save herfor me to look upon her innocent little face with such a
thought! I can hardly now believe that such a thing was
possible, even for a moment. But I was desperate, and bold,
and cowardly-all at the same time-or my heart was humiliated by poverty, and my faith was rousing bitter thoughts
in my mind.
My husband was pacing the room; I knew too well all that
was passing in his mind, although we had long been silent.
At length I said to him: "Take courage, dear, for we are the
servants of the great God, and surely He will find a means of
escape for us. We were sent here; we came because the
Lord wanted us to come, and surely He will provide for us!"
He turned to me in reply, and said kindly, "We can at
least have some water," and he went for some water, and then
with as reverential feeling in his soul as ever inspired a grace
before dinner, he blessed it, and we drank.
We had scarcely done so when the mail-courier brought a
letter to our door.
II8 
THE TRIAL OF OUR FAITH.
Governor Stoudeman, with a feeling of delicacy, had hesitated, when my husband visited him at Lausanne, to offer him
any assistance; but, he said in his letter, he had been "impressed" to do so, and hoped that we should not be offended.
As the letter was opened, a piece of gold fell upon the table.
We could hardly believe that God had so soon answered our
prayers and sent us relief, and our emotions of gratitude for
this timely aid, found expression in tears.
All this time our landlady knew nothing of our distress;
she was as ignorant of our situation as if she had never seen
us. So long as I was able to walk about, I used at regular
hours to go to the kitchen, get the cooking utensils, and go
through the routine of cooking as if we had had a well-filled
larder all the time. I set the table with punctilious care, and
the good old widow never suspected but that we had plenty.
Thus supposing that we wanted nothing, she and her children
were more than ordinarily kind to us and to our little girl,
who was now old enough to toddle round and go from room to
room. Very often they would get her into their room at
meal-time and give her little things to please her; and while
they felt honored in being permitted to do so, we  were
silently thankful for our child's sake, for her sufferings
were more than we could endure.
The temporary aid from Lausanne was very welcome to us,
though it only served to make us feel more keenly our
dependent position. I might relate stories-alas, too true-of
cold and want; of days, and even almost an entire week passed
at one time without food-stories which for painful detail
would eclipse romance. It was a weary waiting for Providence! Such things are better forgotten. And yet I feel
that in after years my temper was more subdued and my
mind more patient under affliction than it would have been
had I not experienced this preparatory discipline.
People who have heard, with a sneer, of Mormon Missionaries and their work, would perhaps have realised that faith
may be sincere, although mistaken, if they could have seen us
at that time. The first teachers of a doctrine, whether it be
II9 
WAITING FOR PROVIDENCE.
good or evil, if only it stems the current opinions of the hour,
have ever found that at the end of a rocky way there was
waiting for them a crown of thorns.
Many a time since then I have felt the weight of anxious
care in providing for my family-the trial of our faith has not
been light or seldom repeated; but those days of trouble in
Switzerland were, I think, the darkest that I ever experienced.
We realised literally the necessity of trusting to God's daily
mercies for our daily bread; and the assurance that the Lord
would provide was our only hope. To say that we practiced
the strictest economy would be to give but a faint idea of the
way in which we had to consider and contrive in order to
exist at all.  For years we kept "The Word of Wisdom"a "Revelation of Joseph Smith," which enjoined abstinence
from wine, coffee, tea, or, in fact, warm drinks of any kind;
and trifling as such self-denial may at first appear, it was not
really so when other privations were added thereto.   For
months at a time we existed,-for I dare not say lived,without what are considered, even by the poorest, the most
common necessaries. I can even recall to mind one trying
week in Switzerland, when, for the whole seven long days, we
had less than a pint of corn-flour to live upon, and that was
chiefly reserved for our poor child.
As I look back to those dark, painful times I feel that it
was by little short of a miracle that our lives were sparedclour faith alone saved us.
120 
CHAPTER VIII.
OUR MISSION IN SWITZERLAND:-MUTTERINGS OF THE
COMING STORM.
An Apostle Comes to Help Me-How the Wives of Missionaries were Sup ported —I Meet with Friends-My Attempts at Proselytizing-Madame Balif
Rejects the Revelation-Primitive Meetings of the Saints-Certain Bashful
Men-A  Lady Weak in the Faith-How My Faith was Tried-" If You
Could Get that Child Healed "-Wanted:  The Gift of Healing-What
Governor Stoudeman Did-The Fate of a Little Child-Madame Balif Makes
a Suggestion-An Effort of Faith-My Doubts and Fears-An Anxious
Night-Mary  Burton's Letter-Elder  Shrewsbury Manifests  Himself-A
Girl's Opinion of Her Lover-Fears of Polygamy-Certain Imprudent Elders
-The American Brethren-Learning a Business-Jealous of Her Husband "My Elder "-An Unsettled Mind-Obtaining Information-Nothing Deter.
mined.
VTERY soon after this we were notified that the Apostle
Snow was on his way to Switzerland, and that we might
shortly expect him.
This to me was joyful news, for he had relieved me of my
trouble once before, and I almost looked upon him as my
good angel. He came, and remained with us a few days, and
before he left he instructed Mr. Stenhouse to repair to England to raise funds to aid the mission. He also gave me a
few pounds to procure what I needed for an event which I
expected shortly to take place. This kindness on his part
brought to my mind such a sense of relief, and renewed my
energy, so that I felt ready for my missionary labors again.
When my second child was about two months old, I went
to Lausanne, to reside, while my husband was absent in
England. Apartments were engaged for me at the house of
a gentleman who had recently been baptized. I was made 
HOW I LIVED ON A DOLLAR A WEEK.
very comfortable there, and for the first time since my husband was sent on a mission, I experienced a feeling of repose,
so that I now had some hopes of regaining mental and
physical strength. No provision had been made by the Saints
for my support; but even without that, I thought, living
among those who were themselves happy, and one with us in
the faith, I should myself find more tranquillity of mind.
Madame and Monsieur Balif, in whose house I resided, were
persons of good social position. The husband was one of
nature's gentlemen, and as good a man as I ever knew. He
received the Mormonism taught by Mr. Stenhouse with all
his heart, and never seemed weary of showing his gratitude
by his good deeds. Madame Balif did not at once join the
Church, and probably never would have done so but for the
love which she bore to her husband; she was not however
hostile to the new faith, as some other wives were, and she
did all that she could to render pleasant my stay with them,
and tried to make me forget what I had suffered in Geneva.
Madame Balif was a high-spirited, impulsive woman, and
devotedly attached to her husband; I never saw a woman
more so. She impressed me as being one of the happiest of
wives; he one of the best of husbands. After I had lived in
the house a few weeks, she was baptized; but she never was
satisfied with Mormonism. Poor, dear lady! How often
have I bitterly regretted that I was instrumental in leading
her into the Mormon Church, in which, as years later, in
Utah, she told me, she endured such cruel humiliation and
martyrdom. I knew well indeed then what all that meant.
While I lived with them, it was agreed that I should pay
for my apartments monthly; but after I had paid for the first
month, Monsieur Balif told me that I should do so no more;
and knowing that he meant it as an expression of kindness
and gratitude on his part, I felt relieved of all anxiety on that
account. All that'I had, even then, for the support of myself
and my two little ones was about five francs ($I) a week, but
my wants were few, for I had taught myself to require nothing
but what was absolutely necessary to keep me alive.
I22 
LITTLE CLARA BECOMES A TEST OF FAITH.
During Mr. Stenhouse's absence, the meetings were held in
my parlor, and as the brethren who had joined the Church
had not previously been religious men, though they were persons of the best moral character, they were very diffident
about conducting the meetings, and for a time could not
think of praying before others. It devolved upon me-of
sheer necessity, for I disliked prominence as much as they
did to lead the singing, to pray, to preach, in fact, to do
everything. Had I not done so, they would have sat looking
at each other, for they were all too timid to speak. I encouraged them in every way to try, and finally we got along
very well. A "good spirit" prevailed, and we were like a
little band of brothers and sisters.
The only person, now, who gave me  any anxiety was
Madame Balif, who was very weak in the faith. Her doubts
and fears troubled me much, for I had conceived a very great
regard for her. I feared that with a heart so proud and rebellious as hers, she would never get salvation, and I trembled
for her happiness. How slight a hold the new faith had taken
of her mind I was forcibly reminded by an incident which
was at the time a great trial to me.
My little daughter fell sick of intermittent fever, and I
dared not call in a physician; it would not do for me a missionary's wife, to show lack of faith. Such was our zeal in
those days; but now, as I once before stated, even the most
orthodox Mormons, including Brigham Young, do not think
of relying upon God and the ordinances of the Church, as
they used to in former years, but call in the best physician
they can get.
I was much troubled about my little girl, for she was evidently failing fast.  She had been "administered to" by one
the native Elders who had anointed her with oil and prayed
over her, but yet she did not get better.  Madame Balif, in
the midst of my affliction taunted me about the child not recovering, and asked where was the power of God, of which I
had talked so much: "Now," said she, "if you could get that
child healed, it would be some proof, to my mind, that the
123 
( WE KNELT AND PRAYED."
power you speak of is still in the Church." I felt ashamed
that I had not exercised more faith; I was certain that the
gift of healing was in the Church, and I believed it was my
own fault that the child was not even now well. In my zeal
I replied rather warmly: "My child will be healed, and you
shall see it." But I had no sooner uttered these words than
I began to fear I had promised too much.
I determined, however, that nothing on my part should be
left undone. I sent for Governor Stoudeman-our new convert-as he was the President of the branch and an Elder. I
told him that this child must be healed by the power of God.
We had not witnessed any manifestation of the healing power
among the Saints in Switzerland, up to that time, and I ear.
nestly desired that now for the first time this gift might be
proved among us, for the sake of the Church as well as for my
own. So I told the Governor that it was his duty, as well as
mine, to fast and pray that the Lord might grant us this blessing, that it might be a testimony that it was His work and that
we were His servants.
He became as enthusiastic as I was myself, and we fasted
and prayed for nearly two days. At the end of that time he
came to see me, and by the bedside we knelt and prayed, and
he laid his hands upon the child and blessed her in the name
of the Lord.
That night the child was very low, and though I strove to
show my faith, I dreaded that she would have her usual attack of fever about midnight. After the departure of the
elder, Madame Balif came into the room and said: "Your
child is very ill; if your God cannot help her, why do not you
send for a physician?" This appeared to me so profane and
such an insult to my God and.my faith, that I replied indignantly: "Madame; she will and shall be healed this very
night; for I know that power is in the Church. The reason
why the child was not healed before is because I have not
been earnest enough in seeking the Lord."
When I was left alone I sat down by the bedside, trembling
lest I had been too rash in declaring that the child would be
124 
MIDNIGHT PRAYER.
healed that same night. Much and fondly as I loved my little
treasure, I confess that I suffered more at the thought of
God's name suffering reproach than I did from fear of my
darling's death; and I tried earnestly to banish my doubts
with the remembrance that all things are possible to them
that believe.
Kneeling there in the dark and lonesome midnight, I
poured out my soul fervently to God, beseeching Him for His
kingdom's sake and for the glory of His great name to answer,
and not to suffer'my unworthiness to stand in the way. I
watched hour after hour beside my darling's bed, and the
child slept on peacefully, without any symptoms of returning fever; and, Oh, how anxiously I waited for her awaking.
At last, worn out with fatigue and watching, I laid myself
down on the bed beside her, and soon fell asleep; and when I
awoke it was daylight, and my little one was peacefully sleeping on still-the fever had left her.  No tongue could tell the
gratitude which filled my heart; I could only weep tears of
joy and sing aloud my praise to God.
Madame Bailif entered the room early in the morning to
see what kind of a night we had passed. Then I drew her to
the bedside, and told her how tranquilly the child had slept
all night, and showed her how much better she looked, and
asked her if she did not see in all this the providence of God.
But she simply said: "Ah, well! I suppose the disease had
run its course." This grieved me, for I had trusted that such
a direct answer to my prayers would have helped to increase
her faith in our religion, but Mormonism had not touched her
heart, and I believe it is much more the devotion of the heart
than it is the mental acquiescence in doctrine which gives us
the power to hope, and endure and believe.
When, by-and-by, my little Clara awoke, she was evidently
very much better, and not only free from the fever, but
bright and cheerful, like her former self, and she never re.
lapsed. In the course of a week she was running about as
well as ever, and the Saints were greatly confirmed in their
faith.
I25 
A LETTER FROM MARY BURTON.
One morning not long after this, Madame Balif brought me
a letter which, as it bore the English post-mark, she supposed
came from my husband. The writing, however, was strange
to me; and dreading that some terrible thing might have happened, I tore it open. There, at the bottom of the last pagefor the letter was very long-in neat, clear characters, was the
signature of my fairy friend, as I called her, Mary Burton. I
read the letter through with the deepest interest. It was
addressed "to darling Sister Stenhouse," and was overflowing with affection.   Used as I was to all her endearing
ways, I could almost fancy that while I read I heard her
speaking the words. After a great outpouring of love, she
said:
........ Since you left Southampton, we have had many
changes. We remained there until nearly all our old friends had left us and
emigrated to Zion; and although my father could not possibly go at that time,
and I was much too young to travel alone, the President actually scolded me for
not being willing to emigrate with the others. When I told him that I was
too young to act for myself he said a good deal about Elder Shrewsbury. I do
not know whether you will remember Elder Shrewsbury but I will try to bring him
to your mind. Do you not remember a gentleman who came several times to the
meeting with me, and who was at the pic-nic just before you left England? He
was very young, with dark hair and beautiful dark eyes to match. He came
with Papa first to the meeting, and then he contrived to make friends with me,
and I used to see him very often, and he paid me much attention.
I suppose I ought to tell you all that I think about him, and how we have
had such pleasant times together,-and so I would, too, if you were here so that
I might be kissed first, as you used to do; but it seems so formal to write such
things on paper; I'm afraid almost that he might see. No! I never told him
yet that I cared for him a bit, and I am not sure myself whether I do. I think
he's very nice, but I know he's a good Mormon, and if I thought there was any
truth in those things which we used to talk about, I'd die before I'd marry him,
or go to Salt Lake either.
I remember you talked to him on the day of the pic-nic, and I thought you
seemed to like him; in fact you could not help doing so, for he is so clever
and so intellectual. That was a happy time we had then; the brethren and sisters all seemed to have cast dull care to the winds, and to have given themselves
up to full and free enjoyment, with the exception of one solitary pair of married
lovers-you know who I mean-but now you are again united, I suppose, and,
of course happy.
I told the President that I had not the "spirit of gathering," and that if my
father agreed, I would perhaps go next season; but, entre nous, I did not tell
him that I had another reason besides. What would you think, dear, if I were
to go out as a bride? But I am very naughty I suppose to think of such a thing.
I26 
HOW THE MARRIED ELDERS "MADE LOVE."
Since you went, I have grown quite an old woman. You used to call me
:'little fairy," but, Sister Stenhouse, I am much bigger now. I am now a good
deal over fifteen, and people say that I am getting to be quite a woman. I
might tell you some other pretty things that are said about me, but I'm afraid
you'd say it was all vanity of vanities. If you stay away much longer you won't
recognise me when we meet again.
And now I want to tell you something that interests you as much as me. I
have not been able to discover anything more with certainty about those hateful
things of which I told you, although the word Polygamy seems to me to become
every day much more familiar in people's conversation. Elder Shrewsbury tells
me that there is not a word of truth in it, and he has had a good deal of conversation upon that subject with the apostles who are here, and also with a man named
Curtis E. Bolton-an Elder from the Salt Lake; and they all positively declare
that it is a foul slander upon the Saints of the Most High. So you see that all
our unhappiness was for nought. Our Saviour said we should be blessed when
all men spoke evil of us falsely for His name's sake; and the wicked scandal
which has been raised against our religion has had a tendency to strengthen
my faith, which you know was rather wavering.
And yet do you know, Sister Stenhouse, that even while I am writing to you
in this strain, I am weak enough to allow doubts and fears to creep into my heart
when I think of the conduct of some of the American brethren.
They appear to me, for married men, to act so very imprudently; and to call
their conduct'imprudent' is really treating it with the greatest leniency, for I
have often been quite shocked at the way in which some of the brethren and
sisters acted. But I will tell you a little about it, and you shall judge for yourself.
When I found out, as I had long suspected, that dear Papa was going to
marry again, I at once resolved that I would no longer be a burden to him, but
would find some employment and support myself. I was induced to dothis
partly because, as you know, step-mothers and daughters do not always love each
other quite as much as they might. So I communicated my wishes to Papa, and
told him that I had been introduced to a very nice lady, who has a large dress.
makinig establishment at the west end of London; she is a member of the
Church, and has always been very highly spoken of. I told him that she employed a number of highly respectable young girls, and that four, at least, of
them were members of the Church, and that in consideration of my lonely
situation, and at the earnest request of Elder Shrewsbury, she was willing to
take me into her house to board and lodge me, and teach me the business
thoroughly, if my father would pay her a premium of fifty pounds.
This Papa readily agreed to do, as I expected he would, for he is so taken up
with my step-mama-that is to be-and besides which he has, I know, been unfortunate lately in some railway speculations, and has lost a great deal of
money, and therefore wishes to economise. In this way I went to London,
and became a member of Mrs. Elsworth's family-and here I am still.
Now you have been in London, Sister Stenhouse, and must remember "the
office" in Jewin Street-the head-quarters where all the elders congregate, and
where the American elders board, and Church-business is managed. Well,
the very first week I was at Mrs. Elsworth's I noticed that the four young
sisters who were working there were constantly talking of Jewin Street and the
127 
A WOMAN WHO WAS ALWAYS SAD.
dear American brethren who were stopping there. One of them in particular
was always talking about dear Elder Snow; and another girl whispered to me
that she went to Jewin Street every evening, and frequently remained there to
tea with him, and went afterwards to the theatre with him, or to a meeting, as
the case might be; and, the young lady added, "She does make such a fuss
over him, toying with him and brushing and combing his hair. I know that
she does it, for I have been there with her, and have seen her do it; and he
appears to enjoy it quite as much as she does, and, I believe, if Polygamy
was true he would marry her."
"But," I said, " it is not true, and therefore it is very wrong for her to act in
that way, for he is a married man."
"Oh, but you know," she answered, " that we are all brothers and sisters,
and the brethren tell us that those little attentions make them feel that they are
not so far from home, and they are thus enabled to perform their mission better;
and if that is so, it is the duty of the young sisters to encourage them.
These little attentions cost nothing, and I'm sure it's quite a pleasure to me."
"Then you go to Jewin Street?" I asked.
"Yes," she said, "sometimes, but not very often, for my elder calls here frequently, as he is acquainted with Mrs. Elsworth; and then I take my work up
into the parlor sometimes and have a long talk with him. Mrs. Elsworth does
not like it, I know, but she does not care to oppose the Elders;-in fact her husband will not allow any such thing-he has dared her to do so. After all,
she is very silly, for we ought to love each other and be free and friendly.
My Elder-I call him my elder, you know, simply because I like him better than
the others-calls Mr$. Elsworth' Gentilish,' and says she'll get over when she
goes to Zion. But she says she won't. She is awfully jealous of her husband
and a certain Miss Caroline somebody, though she doesn't care for him."
"But what difference can it make to him," I asked her; "he has a wife and
ought not to pay attention to other women."
"Ah, you silly child," she said, "it is only brotherly love, after all, and men
often have wives who do not make them happy and that makes them seek the
society of the young sisters, for those who are far from home are lonely. My
own elder's wife is here in London, but he isn't much with her. He spends
nearly all his time in Jewin Street; he is a travelling Elder, and when he is
going anywhere to preach he always calls for me, as he does not like going
alone, he is such a genial soul. If Polygamy were true I'd promise to marry him
when we reached the valley."
Then I asked why his wife didn't go with him, and she said: "Oh, poor man!
he has no pleasure in her society. She is always moping and unhappy; you
know, some women are naturally so. I do all I can to make him feel well, for
it must be awful to be married to a woman who is always sad."
I asked her why his wife should be so unhappy, and she said: "He tells me
that she has got it into her head that somehow or other Polygamy is practiced in
Zion; and I'm sure I, for one, wish it was so, for then we could marry whoever
we pleased."
"Oh, for shame!" I said, "i'm sure I'd never go there if I thought so."
Then I asked her whether she did not think it was wrong for her to encourage
the attentions of her elder; and she said: "He wishes it just as much as I do,
I28 
FAITH AND FLIRTATION.
and his wife had better behave herself, or I'll marry him whether Polygamy
exists or not in Zion; and he does not know, though we both suspect, that there
is something in the rumors which we have heard." Then I told her I thought
it was very wicked to encourage the visits of that man, for I believe that if he
paid a little more attention to his wife she would be less unhappy-for I supposed she knew of his attentions to her.
She said the wife knew nothing about it; that he was obliged to be out late
at night, preaching, or at Jewin Street, which I knew meant flirting with the sisters and going to the theatre, and I fancy he does more of that than preaching.
But she seemed to think it was all the wife's fault, and blamed her. I asked her
if she would like to be treated so, if she were an Elder's wife, and had to work
as hard and endure as much as all the Missionaries' wives do; but she said she
never could be in such a position, and told me that I was not a good Mormon or
I would not set myself up as the accuser of the brethren. But I ask you, Sister
Stenhouse, if that is the Mormonism which the elders used to teach us?
And now I have told you all our long talk together and so you can judge for
yourself what a change has taken place since you left.
The same day, after dinner, Brother Snow called, in company with two other
elders, to see Mrs. Elsworth, and to ask her and the girls to a tea-party the
next day. Mrs. Elsworth declined; but one young lady would go with Brother
Snow, and Miss Caroline went with another Elder; and my light-hearted
friend waited till her Elder came also to ask her. After that, came Elder Shrewsbury, and I, of course, was to go with him.
With all my faith, I am very much troubled about these things. They are not
right, I think. Why, scarcely a day passes but some of those Elders, who appear
to have very little to do, call here and send for one or two of these young sisters,
and detain them from their work, much to the annoyance of poor Mrs. Elsworth,
who I believe will apostatise over it eventually. 
See what a long letter I have written to you! I am afraid it will tire you. I
often long to have you here, that I might come to you and tell you all my
troubles.  But perhaps, after all, I am wrong, and ought to see things in a different light. Have not the Elders and Apostles positively denied that Polygamy
or any other sin was practiced in Utah, or formed any part of the Mormon
religion; and we know that these men of God would not lie to us.
Be sure, dear, to write a nice long letter to me very soon; and with fondest
love remember your own
MARY BURTON."
I read this letter carefully through, and I sat down and
thought of dear Mary Burton, and felt deeply sorry that she
should be placed in a situation surrounded by so many
temptations. To myself the letter brought a sad confirmation
of all my fears. There was something painful in the thought.
Had polygamy been openly avowed as a Mormon doctrine I
should never have joined the Church. But now, what could
I do?'
129 
CERTAIN UNBLUSHING FALSEHOODS.
After three months' absence, Mr. Stenhouse was to return
home, and I went to Geneva to meet him, feeling very happy
when I saw him once again. Numbers of persons, both in
Geneva and Lausanne had been converted while he was away
and were waiting for him to baptize them;-among them was
, retired Protestant minister, Monsieur Petitpierre, of whom
I have something yet to mention. We began at last to rejoice
n our success and to be thankful that the Lord had answered
)ur prayers.
I was now more than ever anxious about Polygamy. From
much thinking on that subject, it had become the haunting
spectre of my existence, and I dreaded what every day might
bring forth. The news which my husband brought with him
by no means reassured me. He told me that he had heard
in England from the American Elders that there was a
general expectation among the Saints in Utah that at the
October Conference in Salt Lake City, Brigham Young
would publish to the world that Polygamy was a doctrine of
the Mormon Church.
After all the prevarications and denials then of the Apostles
and Elders, Polygamy among the Saints was really a fact. As
the truth became clearer to my mind, I thought I should lose
my senses;-the very foundations of my faith were shaken,
and not only did I feel a personal repugnance to the unholy
doctrine, but I began to realise that the men to whom I had
listened with such profound respect and had regarded as the
representatives of God, had been guilty of the most deliberate
and unblushing falsehood, and I began to ask myself whether
if they could do this in order to carry out their purpose in one
particular, might they not be guilty of deception upon other
points?  Who could I trust now?  For ten years the Mormon
Prophets and Apostles had been living in Polygamy at home,
while abroad they vehemently denied it and spoke of it as a
deadly sin.  This was a painful awakening to me; we had all
of us been betrayed; I lost confidence in man, and even began
to question within myself whether I could even trust in God.
There was no argument between Mr. Stenhouse and my
130 
ANXIOUS ABOUT POLYGAMY.
self. It would have been worse than useless, for it was not
his doing, and he assured me that he had as great a repugnance to the doctrine as I had. He had at first only hinted
that it might eventually be acknowledged by the leaders of
the Church, but it was a matter of too deeply a personal
character for me to keep silence, and I did not rest until he
had told me all. He had not seen the revelation, but the
information which- he had received was beyond a question;
and singularly enough Elder Margetts, the London Elder, of
whose flirtation in Southampton I have already spoken, was at
that time on a visit to Switzerland, and confirmed all that my
husband had said. Thus the very man who, two years before,
first excited my suspicions, now confirmed my fears, and
openly stated as a fact, that which he then was ashamed
almost to suggest.
Elder Margetts had been in Utah from the time I saw him
in England, and was now on a mission to Italy. He knew,
therefore, very well what was said and done among the Saints
in Zion. I, and those like me, whose faith was not too strong,
were spoken of as' babes' to whom milk only must be given;
and in this way any deception necessary to quiet our tender
consciences was allowable; but Elder Margetts was one-of
the'strong men' to whom meat was necessary:-in other
words, they were initiated into all the mysteries of the faith.
My husband enjoined me not to speak of what I had heard,
and I felt very little inclination to do so-my heart was too
full. The pleasant dreams and hopes of life were ended now
to me-what could I look forward to?  Henceforth the stern
realities of a lonely and weary existence were all the future
that should be mine.
Still, the "Revelation" sanctioning a change in the doctrines
and practice of the Church, was not yet published; and until
Polygamy was openly avowed I felt that the doom of my
happiness was not yet sealed, and like many another heartbroken woman, I hoped against hope.
I3I 
CHAPTER IX.
THE REVELATION ON "CELESTIAL MARRIAGE."
Waiting for the Revelation-The Mizeiennial Star-The Revelation on the Order
of "Celestial Marriage "-" My Servant Joseph "-The Keys of the Kingdom
-Marrying for Eternity-The Unpardonable Sin-Being "As the Angels" Sealed by the Holy Spirit-Shedding  Innocent Blood-The Example of
Abraham-The Power of the Priesthood-" Mine Handmaid, Emma Smith"
-"If He have Ten Virgins Given Unto Him "-Let This Suffice for the
Present-An Astonishing Message from Heaven-Learning to Bear the Cross
-Without Hope-Longing to Confide in Some One-My Indignant Recep tion of the "Revelation"-"I Dared Not even Kneel to God "-" There Was
"A Knock at My Chamber Door"-Not a Very Entertaining Party-"The
Old Gentleman Stood the Test "-Monsieur Petitpierre "Thinks Prayerfully"
Over the Matter.
A ND time flew by; and at length the dreaded Revelation
came.
One very pleasant morning, early in January, I853, two
Elders of the Italian Mission, Jabez Woodward and Thomas
Margetts, took breakfast with us; and with them also was
Mons. Petitpierre from Geneva, the Protestant minister of
whom I have already spoken. While I was busy preparing
the meal, Mr. Stenhouse and the two English Elders went to
the post-office to get their letters, for at that time they were
expecting important news. When they returned, breakfast
was quite ready, and they took their seats at the table. I
asked if there were any letters from England, and my husband said: " No; no letters, but there is a Star, and it contains the Revelation on Polygamy."
He handed me a copy of the Millennial Star-a Mormon
paper published in Liverpool-and as I took it, I felt as if I  
TOO TRUE!
ii 
"CELESTIAL MARRIAGE."
were receiving my death-warrant -.it was indeed the deathwarrant to all my hopes of happiness.  I rose from the table,
asking them to excuse me; and overcome with agitation and
conflicting emotions, I retired to my own chamber. There, for
the first time, I read that document which has since brought
such sorrow and misery to so many wronged and heartbroken women. The reader may perhaps like to see the only
foundation and authority for the practice of Polygamy, ever
produced by the Mormon leaders. So I copy exactly from
the Millennial Star, what I then read, leaving out only a few
lines here and there, which had no special reference to the
subject, but helped to swell the size of the "revelation:"
CELESTIAL MARRIAGE:
A REVELATION ON THE PATRIARCHAL ORDER OF MATRIMONY, OR
PLURALITY OF WIVES.
Given to yoseph Smith, the Seer, in Vauvoo, yuly I2th, I843.
I. Verily, thus saith the Lord, unto you, my servant Joseph, that inasmuch as
you have inquired of my hand, to know and understand wherein I, the Lord,
justified my servants, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; as also Moses, David, and
Solomon, my servants, as touching the principle and doctrine of their having
many wives and concubines: Behold! and lo, I am the Lord thy God, and wil
answer thee as touching this matter: Therefore prepare thy heart to receive and
obey the instructions which I am about to give unto you; for all those who have
this law revealed unto them must obey the same; for behold! I reveal unto you
a new and everlasting covenant, and if ye abide not that covenant, then are ye
damned; for no one can reject this covenant, and be permitted to enter into my
glory; for all who will have a blessing at my hands shall abide the law which
was appointed for that blessing, and the conditions thereof, as was instituted
from before the foundations of the world: and as pertaining to the new and
everlasting covenant, it was instituted for the fulness of my glory; and he that
receiveth a fulness thereof, must and shall abide the law, or he shall be damned,
saith the Lord God.
2. And verily I say unto you, that the conditions of this law are these: All
covenants, contracts, bonds, obligations, oaths, vows, performances, connections,
associations, or expectations, that are not made or entered into, and sealed, by
the Holy Spirit of promise, of him who is annointed both as well for time and
for all eternity, and that too most holy, by revelation and commandment, through
the medium of mine anointed, whom I have appointed on the earth to hold this
power, (and I have appqinted unto my servant Joseph to hold this power in the
last days, and there is never but one on the earth at a time; on whom this power
and the keys of the priesthood are conferred), are of no efficacy, virtue, or force,
9
I35 
MATRIMONY REVISED.
in and after the resurrection from the dead: for all contracts that are not made
unto this end, have an end when men are dead.
4. Therefore, if a man marry him a wife in the world, and he marry her not
by me, nor by my word; and he covenant with her so long as he is in the world,
and she with him, their covenant and marriage is not of force when they are
dead, and when they are out of the world; therefore they are not bound by any
law when they are out of the world; therefore, when they are out of the world,
they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are appointed angels in
heaven, which angels are ministeriing servants, to minister for those who are
worthy of a far more, and an exceeding, and an eternal weight of glory; for these
angels did not abide my law, therefore they cannot be enlarged, but remain
separately and singly, without exaltation, in their saved condition, to all eternity,
and from henceforth are not gods, but are angels of God for ever and ever.
5. And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife, and make a covenant with her for time, and for all eternity, if that covenant is not by me, or by
my word, which is my law, and is not sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise,
through him whom I have anointed and appointed unto this power, then it is
not valid, neither of force, when they are out of the world, because they are not
joined by me, saith the Lord, neither by my word; when they are out of the
world, it cannot be received there, because the angels and the gods are appointed
there, by wvhom they cannot pass; they cannot, therefore, inherit my glory, for
my house is a house of order, saith the Lord God.
6. And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife by my word, which
is my law, and by the new and everlasting covenant, and it is sealed unto them
by the Holy Spirit of promise, by him who is anointed, unto whom I have
appointed this power, and the keys of this priesthood, and it shall be said unto
them, Ye shall come forth in the first resurrection; and if it be after the first
resurrection, in the next resurrection; and shall inherit thrones, kingdoms,
principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths-then shall it be
written in the Lamb's Book of Life, that he shall commit no murder whereby to
shed innocent blood; and if ye abide in my covenant, and commit no murder
whereby to shed innocent blood, it shall be done unto them in all things whatsoever my servant hath put upon them, in time, and through all eternity, and shall
be of full force when they are out of the world; and they shall pass by the
angels, and the gods, which are set there, to their exaltation and glory in all
things, as hath been sealed upon their heads, which glory shall be a fulness and
a continuation of the seeds for ever and ever.
7. Then shall they be gods, because they have no end; therefore shall they
be from everlasting to everlasting, because they continue; then shall they be
above all, because all things are subject unto them. Then shall they be gods,
because they have all power, and the angels are subject unto them.
*  *     *       *       *      *       *       *       *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9. Verily, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife according to my word,
and they are sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, according to mine appointment, and he or she shall commit any sin or transgression of the new and everlasting covenant whatever, and all manner of blasphemies, and if they commit
no murder, wherein they shed innocent blood-yet they shall come forth in the
I36 
THE COMMISSION OF THE KEYS.
first resurrection, and enter into their exaltation, but thzey shall be destroyed il
the flesh, and shall be delivered unto the buffetings of Satan, unto the day of
redemption, saith the Lord God.
Io. The blasphemy against the Holy Ghost, which shall not be forgiven in this
world, nor out of the world, is in that ye commit mnurder, wherein ye shed innocent blood, and assent unto my death, after ye have received my new and everlasting covenant, saith the Lord God; and he that abideth not this law can in no
wise enter into my glory, but shall be damned, saith the Lord.
13. God commanded Abraham, and Sarah gave Hagar to Abraham, to wife.
And why did she do it? Because this was the law, and from Hagar sprang
many people. This, therefore, was fulfilling, among other things, the promises.
Was Abraham, therefore, under condemnation? Verily, I say unto you, NVay;
for I, the Lord, commanded it. Abraham was commanded to offer his son
Isaac; nevertheless, it was written, Thou shalt not kill. Abraham, however,
did not refuse, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.
I4. Abraham received concubines, and they bare him children, and it was
accounted unto him for righteousness, because they were given unto him, and he
abode in my law: as Isaac also, and Jacob did none other things than that
which they were commanded, they have entered into their exaltation, according
to the promises, and sit upon thrones; and are not angels, but are gods. David
also received many wives and concubines, as also Solomon, and Moses my
servant; as also many others of my servants, from the beginning of creation
until this time; and in nothing did they sin, save in those things which they
received not of me.
15. David's wives and concubines were given unto him of me, by the hand of
Nathan, my servant, and others of the prophets who had the keys of this
power; and in none of these things did he sin against me, save in the case of
Uriah and his wife; and therefore, he hath fallen from his exaltation, and
received his portion; and he shall not inherit them out of the world; for I gave
them unto another, saith the Lord.
i6. I am the Lord thy God, and I gave unto thee, my servant Joseph, an
appointment, and restore all things;.........          I have conferred
upon you the keys and power of the Priesthood, wherein I restore all things, and
make known unto you all things, in due time.
I7. And verily, verily I say unto you, that whatsoever you seal on earth shall
be sealed in heaven; and whatsoever you bind on earth, in my name, and by my
word, saith the Lord, it shall be eternally bound in the heavens; and whosesoever sins you remit on earth shall be remitted eternally in the heavens; and
whosesoever sins you retain on earth shall be retained in heaven.
I8. And again, verily I say, whomsoever you bless I will bless, and whomsoever you curse I will curse, saith the Lord; for I, the Lord, am thy God.
I9. And again, verily I say unto you, my servant Joseph, that whatsoever you
give on earth, and to whomsoever you give any one on earth, by my word, and
according to my law, it shall be visited with blessings.
*       *       *       *      *       *       *       *       *
20. Verily I say unto you, a commandment I give unto mine handmaid Emma
Smith your wife....  let mine handmaid, Emma Smith, receive all those
137 
HIOW TO TAKE EXTRA WIVES.
that have been given unto my servant Joseph, and who are virtuous and pure
before me; and those who are not pure, and have said they were pure, shall be
destroyed, saith the Lord God!.... I give unto my servant Joseph, that
he shall be made ruler over many things, for he hath been faithful over a few
things, and from hencefoth I will strengthen him.
2I. And I command mine handmaid, Emma Smith, to abide and cleave unto
my servant Joseph, and to none else. But if she will not abide this commandment, she shall be destroyed, saith the Lord; for I am the Lord thy God, and
will destroy her if she abide not in my law; but if she will not abide this commandment, then shall my servant Joseph do all things for her, even as he hath
said; and I will bless him, and multiply him, and give unto him a hundred fold
in this world, of fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, houses and lands,
wives and children, and crowns of eternal lives in the eternal worlds. And
again, verily I say, let mine handmaid forgive my servant Joseph his trespasses,
and then shall she be forgiven her trespasses, wherein she has trespassed against
me; and I, the Lord thy God, will bless her, and multiply her, and make her
heart to rejoice.
* *-      *       *       *       *       *       *       *
24. And again, as pertaining to the law of the priesthood: If any man espouse
a virgin, and desire to espouse another, and the first give her consent; and if he
espouse the second, and they are virgins, and have vowed to no other man, then
is he justified; he cannot commit adultery, for they are given him; for he cannot commit adultery with that that belongeth unto him, and to none else; and if
he have ten virgins given unto him by this law, he cannot commit adultery, for
they belong to him; and they are given unto him-therefore is he justified. But
if one or either of the ten virgins, after she is espoused, shall be with another
man, she has committed adultery, and shall be destroyed; for they are given
unto him to multiply and replenish the earth, according to my comrTndment,
and to fulfil the promise which was given by my Father before the foundation of
the world; and for their exaltation in the eternal worlds, that they may bear the
souls of men; for herein is the work of my Father continued, that He may be
glorified.
25. And again, verily, verily I say unto you, if any man have a wife who holds
the keys of this power, and he teaches unto her the law of my priesthood, as
pertaining to these things; then shall she believe and administer unto him, or
she shall be destroyed, saith the Lord your God; for I will destroy her; for
I will magnify my name upon all those who receive and abide in my law.
Therefore, it shall be lawful in me, if she receive not this law, for him to receive
all things whatsoever I, the Lord his God, will give unto him, because she did
not believe and administer unto him, according to my word; and she then
becomes the transgressor, and he is exempt from the law of Sarah, who administered unto Abraham according to the law, when I commanded Abraham to
take Hagar to wife. And now, as pertaining to this law: Verily, verily I say
unto you, I will reveal more unto you, hereafter; therefore, let this suffice for
the present. Behold, I am Alpha and Omega. Amen.
And this was the "revelation!"-this mass of confusion,
cunning absurdity, falsehood, and bad grammar! Tlzis was
I38 
HOW THE "REVELATION  CAME TO ME.
the celebrated document which was henceforth to be law to
the confiding men and women who had embraced Mormonism!
Looking at it now; noting its inconsistencies and its flagrant
outrage upon common decency and morality, I can hardly
credit that I should ever have been such a silly dupe as to
give it a second thought. And yet, what could I do? I was
bound hand and foot, as it were, and my very vision itself
was distorted. Unquestioning obedience, we had been
taught, was the highest virtue; rebellion was as the sin of
witchcraft. I had been convinced of the truth of some of the
tenets of the Mormon faith, and confident in them, I accepted
without question all the rest. Never, till the possibility that
polygamy might some day be acknowledged by the Church,
began to be whispered among the Saints-never did a solitary
doubt respecting my religion intrude itself upon my mind;
and after my apprehensions were fairly aroused by those
rumors, whenever I felt the faintest shadow of unbelief or
suspicion arising in my heart, I banished it as an unholy
thing. The time had not yet come when I could judge dispassionately: the "revelation" aroused within me feelings of
horror and dismay, but I did not dare to question its authenticity. It brought bitterness to my soul, but I believed it was
from God, and that I must learn to bear the cross patiently.
I did not at that time read the document through from
beginning to end. No; my indignation was such that before
I had read half of it I threw it from me in anger. Perhaps if
I had read it all, and considered it carefully, my own judgment and my sense of right and wrong might have pointed
out its absurdity and wickedness. But I was far from being
tranquil enough to think calmly. I felt bitterly that this new
doctrine was a degradation to woman, and I wondered why
God should see fit to humiliate my sex in this way. I was
willing to devote myself, my life, my all to His service, but
wherefore should He doom me to everlasting sorrow.
What now was to be a woman's lot among the Mormons?
A life without hope! Who can express the terrible meaning
of those words-without hope!  Yet so it was.  Hereafter
I39 
ALONE AND IN TROUBLE.
our hearts were to be daily and hourly trampled upon; the
most sacred feelings of our sex were to be outraged, our affections were to be crushed;-henceforth we were to be nothing
by ourselves; without a husband, we were told, we could not
even enter heaven! But had our trials been limited to this
life we might have borne them, as many a weary soul has
done, waiting for the relief of death. But death was to bring
no hope to us: we were told that in the other world Polygamy
should be the only order of marriage, and that without it none
could be exalted in glory. We were told these things by men
who we believed were true and holy men of God; and we
trusted in them.
Rebellious I felt, indeed, as I paced the room after I had
thrown the Revelation on the ground: I almost felt as if I
should lose my reason. A woman in the time of trouble
always looks to some one in whom she can confide; but to
whom could I turn for one kind or cheering word-who would
comfort me? I had neither relation or friend to whom I
could speak of this trial; there was no one who could understand me. I could not turn to my husband in this sorrow, and
I dared not even kneel to my God to implore His aid. _It was
He, they said, who had declared this revelation was His will;
how then could I turn to Him? No; my heart sank within
me; henceforth there was to be no hope, no peace for me!
There was a knock at my chamber door, and my husband
came in. He knew how acutely I must feel, and he came to
comfort me. I was almost choked with emotion and tears,
but he threw his arms round me tenderly and spoke to me as
if I had been a child that needed consolation. He tried to
persuade me that God as a loving Father could never have
intended the pain or misery of his children, and that when we
came to understand the doctrine better, we should find that
all would be well. He spoke also of his own unchanging
attachment, and appealed to me whether I thought he could
ever love me less or place his affections on another.
I tried to believe, and when I felt a little better I went with
him to the breakfast room where the others were waiting for us.
140 
AN OLD MAN'S IDEA OF ISHMAEL.
We were not a very entertaining party that morning. The
Elders present, of course knew what had kept me in my
room, and their attempt at cheerfulness was not very successful.  My husband was in sympathy with me, and I have no
doubt that I looked sad enough. There was only one person
present who did not appreciate the situation-Monsieur
Petitpierre, the Protestant minister-and they handed the
Revelation to him. Mr. Stenhouse and the other Elders had
some misgivings as to how he would receive it, and they were
afraid it might disgust him with Mormonism. But the old
gentleman stood the test bravely, and I saw then, as I have
seen since, that men can be easily satisfied that the Revelation
on Polygamy, or any other revelation, is divine, if they desire
it to be so.
Here was old Monsieur Petitpierre, a man of more than
three score years, and childless. To him the example of
Abraham and Solomon appeared most instructive-an example which might be followed with advantage. His wife,
like Sarah of old, had never been called by a mother's name;
and now although, thus far, he had no idea who might act the
part of a second Hagar, there seemed a fair chance that a
little Ishmael might perpetuate the race of Petitpierres on
earth, if only the Revelation was acted upon by the faithful.
It ought to be prayerfully thought of," he said.
Prayerfully thought of! Poor, silly old man!  Before then
I had respect for his years and learning; but now-what could
I think of a man who talked such nonsense? Had the revelation told him that the wife of his youth, now tottering in step,
and with hair silvered by age, was commanded to take two or
a dozen young husbands-I wondered whether he would have
added with such satisfaction: "It ought to be prayerfully
thought of!"
From that day I learned to regard polygamy as an essential
part of the Mormon faith, and such for many years the world
has considered it; but when I first joined the Church, such
an innovation would have appeared to the European Saints
beyond the wildest fancies of a dream
I41 
CHAPTER X.
MISSIONARY WORK:-TEACHING POLYGAMY.
Preaching Polygamy-A Phase of Missionary Life-An Embarrassing Position
-Bearing the Cross-One Ever-Present Thought-The Haunting Spectre of
My Life-My Little Daughter Clara-The Work of Repentance-Why Men
are Sent on Mission-Working in the Dark-Days and Nights of Prayer and
Fasting-Preparing for Work-Breaking the News-My First Convert-The
Victim Chosen-The "Beauties" of "Celestial Matrimony "-Introducing a
Pleasant Subject-" Came Down Stairs Singing "-A Cruel Task-" Does
My Serge Believe This? "-" I Tried to Comfort Her "-Not Wisely, but Too
Well-Itow the Swiss Women Received the Revelation-A Companion in
Misery-A Letter from Mary Burton-Polygamy in England-Elder Shrews bury in. Difficulties-Love and Religion-How Polygamy Was  Denied Looking Most Miserable-"He Kissed My Hand Sorrowfully."
NOW  entered upon a new phase of my Missionary life;
the Elders assured me that it was my duty to teach
Polygamy to the women of Switzerland.
Hitherto, although I had suffered much from poverty and
privation, my work as a Missionary had been very pleasant.
I believed with my whole heart all that I taught, and my best
wishes for the people around me were that they might
become altogether such as I was, except in my sufferings.
Now, however, all this was changed. It was no longer salvation through faith in Christ, or repentance, or baptism; it
was no longer love and peace for this world and the promise
of everlasting joy in the world to come, that I was called upon
to teach. My task hitherto had been a labor of love; now
it was to be a weary work of pain. How could I teach
the sisters, the affection of whose guileless hearts I had
won to myself- how could I teach them that which my own 
THE SPECTRE OF MY DREAMS.
heart abhorred, a doctrine which I hated with my whole
soul!
How I strove against my rebellious nature: how I battled
with myself! That God had sent the Revelation I never
questioned, and all rebellion to His will I knew must be
sinful. I had no thought of evading the responsibility: my
heart must be subdued. It might be subdued; it might be
crushed and broken, but I could never again, I felt, be truly
happy. I tried to reason with myself and to persuade myself
that it was I who was to blame and not the Revelation. If the
Lord required me to submit, it must be for some good pur  pose, and I must not refuse the cross that He called upon me
to bear. Sometimes for a few moments something would
attract my attention and divert my thoughts; but the terrible
reality-Polygamy, refused to be ignored, and I felt all the
more bitterly afterwards. I never was happy, for life had
lost its charm to me. Ere I slept at night one dreadful
thought was haunting my pillow,-it disturbed my very
dreams,-and when I awoke in the morning, it was with a
feverish apprehension of coming evil hanging over me. All
through the long, weary day it haunted my footsteps like a
spectre, and like a fearful blight that had fallen upon me it
seemed to be withering my soul. One thought was ever
present in my mind-that thought, Polygamy!
It can be no wonder that I lost all interest in life, and that
I should almost wish to die rather than live that life of degra
dation which I dreaded would be mine. But death flies from
those who woo her; the wretched, the weary, the hopeless,
they find her not. I felt that there was no rest for me. My
only comfort was in my children; no revelation, I felt, could
change their relationship to me. But over my little daughter
Clara I mourned, for I thought if this revelation were acted
upon by the Saints, as doubtless it would be, she would some
day be called upon to suffer as I did. How little did I then,
however, anticipate in what way my fears would be realised!
My Clara is now the daughter-in-law of Brigham Young,
having married his eldest son, Joseph A. Young.
I43 
TEACIHING POLYGAMY.
I am afraid at that time I was somewhat of a trial to my
husband, for my heart was not yet quite subdued. I grew
impatient at the wrong which I felt had been done to me, and
I often said bitter things against the Prophet of the Lord and
all his sex, including my husband, who was then, and for
years after, a devoted Mormon, and was quite horrified at
what I said. He often told me that I was a great hindrance to
him, and that it was impossible for any one who lived with me
to enjoy the Spirit of God,-and I was afraid that he only
spoke the truth.
Then I repented, and sought to chasten myself; and I fasted
and prayed and asked forgiveness of God and my husband.
But even when most subdued I was as unhappy as ever, and
some one was sure to say something which reminded me of
my trouble, and whenever the Elders came to the house they
were sure to discuss the one painful topic. Then my indignant feelings all came back again, and I felt the spirit of rebellion stirring within me. I could not help it, for I felt that
woman's nature itself was insulted by the degrading doctrine,
and any mention of it excited my anger.
My husband and the Elders had anticipated that I would
not readily submit, and they bore with me as patiently as they
could, losing no opportunity of strengthening me in the faith,
ever keeping before me the obligation that rested upon me
in particular to explain the doctrine to the Swiss sisters.
They knew very well that nothing tends more to confirm the
faith of the wavering than setting them to teach others. Brigham Young has always acted on this principle, and whenever
any of the brethren have evinced signs of doubt or disaffection
they have been at once despatched on Mission. Their efforts
to convert others, established their own faith.
Among the Swiss we had never spoken on Polygamy or any
kindred subject, and we were therefore spared the humiliation
which the British Elders experienced in having to retract their
own teachings.   Nevertheless, Mr. Stenhouse and the other
Elders felt great anxiety as to how the new doctrine would be
received. My husband did not at once openly tell them that
I44 
THE FIRST VICTIM.
such a Revelation had been sent from Zion; but whenever an
opportunity presented he took them aside singly and spoke to
them about the ancient patriarchs who practiced Polygamy;
and so great was his influence with the converts that he soon
won them over to the new teaching, and made them feel that
they would not be justified in rejecting the Revelation. Many
of the Swiss Saints before their conversion had been more
Socialists than Christians, and they probably thought that this
change in the marriage institution was a sign of advancing intellectual supremacy; but their wives were very far from sharing these opinions with them.
After many days and nights of prayer and fasting I prepared
myself for my work. To a certain extent I had brought my
own self under control, or I thought I had, and I almost felt
anxious to begin, so that I might get over the painful scenes
which I fully anticipated. It was agreed that Madame Baliff,
of whom I have already spoken as being rather sceptical when
my child recovered from her critical condition, should be the
first to whom the intelligence should be imparted, for it was
thought that if she accepted the Revelation without much difficulty, the other sisters would be more easily won over. She
was a well-educated and intelligent woman, and had seen a
good deal of the world. She had met her husband while travelling in Russia, had married him, and they had returned to
their native land. She was in every respect a lady, but she
was a spoilt child and had her whims; and she possessed a
great influence over the minds of the other sisters. On this account it was that she was selected as the victim to whom
should first be imparted the mysteries of the Revelation, for it
was thought that whatever reception she might give to Polygamy, her views would greatly influence the conduct of the rest.
As I before mentioned, Madame Baliff and her husband were
models of affection to one another, and it seemed to me quite
a sin that I should introduce into such a household a doctrine
which could only produce disunion and misery. I had, however, schooled my heart to what I thought was my duty, and
I strove to smother the rebellion rising within me. But, after
I45
Of 
"I HESITATED STILL."
all it seemed to me hardly fair that I should be selected for this
painful task. These husbands had not courage enough, or were
ashamed, to tell their own wives about this wonderful Revelation; and so I, a weak woman, hating in my heart the doctrine
as much as a woman could hate-I was chosen to introduce
this pleasant subject, and to persuade those I loved to their
own ruin. I had had it all fully explained to me, and I thoroughly understood the beauties of the system in the sight of
the Elders, and what they considered the strong points in the
Revelation;-but it is miserable work to try to convince others
of a thing that you yourself detest.
One day, quite unexpectedly to her, they had told Madame
Baliff that a new Revelation had been sent from Zion, and that
I would explain it to her; then Monsieur Baliff left the house
and remained absent until the wife whom he so devotedly
loved should have heard this new thing.
Madame Baliff came down stairs singing, in her usual gay
spirits, little expecting what she was going to hear; and when
she came to me I felt so unfitted for my task that I dared not
look her'straight in the face, although she was my dearest
friend and I had such an affection for her.  I stood there, pale
and trembling, and she thought that I was not well;-I was not
indeed well-I was sick at heart. Never before had the face
of a friend been so unwelcome.
She asked me what it was that I had to tell her; and when
I hesitatingly denied having wanted to speak to her at all, she
said she knew there must be something, as her husband had
told her so.
I hesitated still; but at last found courage, and told her all.
It was a cruel task to impose upon me. Day after day I had
observed her and her husband, I had noticed their deep affection; had seen her watching at the window for his return;
and he would come with a little offering of choice fruit or flowers: and I thought no woman could be happier than Madame
Baliff. And now for me to so cruelly awaken them from their
dream of bliss!
She sat and listened eagerly as I told my story; and when
I46 
A WOMAN'S INDIGNATION.
at length she began to understand what was meant by it, she
thought that I must be playing some unseasonable joke upon
her, and showed as much in her countenance. But when she
saw that I really was in earnest, she sprang up and cried out:
"Oh, my God! what a beastly religion! How dared your
husband and you come to us Swiss with such a religion as
that?" My eyes sank before her as she turned on me with
mingled rage and disgust, as if she would wither me with her
contemptuous looks. I felt as humbled as if I myself had
been the author of the Revelation.
"And does my Serge believe this?" she cried.
I assured her that he did believe it, and she paced the room,
to and fro, as if she would go crazy; my heart ached for her.
She gave way to a perfect storm of rage, and then sobbed and
cried like a child who had lost its mother. I was silent, for I
knew how she must feel, and I felt that she would be relieved
by tears. I had gone through the trial all alone, without one
word from a woman's heart that could reach my own. And I
tried to comfort her. I remembered how I had felt myself,
and I believed that thus it was now with her.   In an instant,
when I first realised that Polygamy had anything to do with
me, just as I have heard it said of dying men, all my past life
rushed to my remembrance, and every word or deed of love
therein, stood out in brightest reality. Thus I doubted not it
was with my friend. Every tender word which her husband
had ever uttered; every loving deed he had ever done, came
to her recollection with a ten-fold dearness as she realised the
horrors which awaited her in the future.
How little did we either of us imagine the story she would
afterwards tell me in Utah!
I tried to soothe her, and she threw her arms passionately
round me, and pressed me to her throbbing heart, and wept
again. She thought of her husband and her little girls. But
with all her fears she dreamed not how miserable was the life
before her in poverty and Polygamy.   She was herself handsome in form and fair in feature, and, in the full enjoyment of
all that could be desired in her sphere of life, she was as happy
I47 
TRAITORS TO OURSELVES.
as a youthful wife could be. She pictured to herself a timenot now, her Serge loved her too truly now-when her husband might cast his eyes upon some blooming damsel, younger
than she was then, and might begin to take a nearer interest
in Polygamy. She pictured him bestowing on the youthful
beauty the love and tenderness which he had always bestowed
on her;-how his affections would die out towards her; how her
heart would be desolate and alone!
I took her hand in mine and spoke very gently to her, and
when she was calmer, I talked to her more freely. We found
now, as we tried to look our common enemy in the face, how
strong a hold Mormonism had taken of us; and it is in this
that persons unacquainted with the Saints have so greatly misjudged the women of Utah; they know how small a hold such
a religion-now they look upon Mormonism and Polygamy as
identical-would have upon them; and they forget how allabsorbing was our faith in Mormonism without Polygamy. We
confided not wisely, but too well.
Had Polygamy been an invention of our husbands, or a system which they capriciously adopted, we might have been
grieved, but we should have known how to act, for we were in
a Christian country where women had rights as well as men;
-it was our own hearts which were traitors to us. We had
been taught to regard Abraham and Jacob, and David and
Solomon as types of holiness, as men who were fit objects for
imitation; and now it was proved to us, from Scripture, that
these men were Polygamists,'and yet were blessed by God;
and we were called upon to follow their example. Thus we
tried to crush out the remembrance of our own womanhood.
Had we but followed the light of reason which God had given
for our guide, we should have trampled in the dust that vile
burlesque upon the holy religion of Jesus, called a "Revelation
upon Celestial Marriage." As it was, the religious teachings
which we had received both before and after we embraced
Mormonism alike combined to blind us to the truth.
In this state of mind we knelt and prayed for the Lord to
increase our faith in that very doctrine which in our hearts we
I48 
A COMPAFNION IN MISERY.
cursed and hated; and on our knees we wept again; and
natural feelings of repugnance mingled with an earnest struggle to submit to the will of God.   Madame Baliff had not so
much faith in Mormonism as I had, and she had consequently
less to trouble her in that respect; but she loved her husband,
and she knew that he was determined to go to Zion as soon
as he could, and then not only would all the luxuries of a happy
home be sacrificed, but all her anticipations of the future were
overshadowed by a terrible apprehension.   Thus we were
equally troubled, though I had to endure most, as the task of
teaching fell upon me.   I did at last manage to persuade her
not to offer any active opposition to the revelation, but I could
not satisfy her that all was right. She even went so far as to
promise to try to overcome her own feelings, for if it was really
true she did not wish to be found fighting against the Lord.
She had, however, hardly ceased speaking when the thought
of her little daughters crossed her mind and once more she
paced the room like an enraged tigress, declaring angrily
that "no vile Polygamist should ever possess either of her
sweet girls." I had felt like this for my own darling Clara.
I had now a companion in misery-some one who could
sympathise with me. Even had my husband detested the dmtrine, as I did, he could not have comforted me as a woman
and a mother could. My poor friend could feel as I felt, and
her sympathy was very dear to me-misery loves companionship-we were sisters in affliction.  Not only so-Madame
Baliff declared that this painful task should not rest on me
alone; she would help me in speaking to the sisters. Thus
we helped each other in the time of our trouble.
It must have been about this time that I received another
letter from Mary Burton. The postmark is quite indistinct,
but a week or two one way or the other does not signify
much. In her usual quick and impulsive way she gave me
her views of the "beauties" of Polygamy, and perhaps the
reader would like to hear what she said.
....... I am very miserable, Sister Stenhouse, and furiously indigo
nant. I little thought when I last wrote to you that I should have such news to
tell; but I suppose you know it all without my saying a word. How we all felt
I49 
150 HOW THE SAINTS IN ENGLAND RECEIVED POLYGAMY.
when we first learned that Polygamy was true, no words of mine can describe;
we hardly dared look one another in the face. Let me tell you how it was.
One night, quite late, Elder Shrewsbury came round in a hurry, and asked to
see me. I went down into the parlour to meet him, and Mrs. Elsworth came
down also, and remained until he went away. Elder Shrewsbury looked very
strange that night, just like a man who had been doing something wrong and
was ashamed of it-and well he might feel so. He began by talking to Mrs.
Elsworth about the weather, and when they had both said all they could think of
on that interesting and original subject, we all three sat silent for some time.
Elder Shrewsbury at last spoke.
He excused himself for coming so late, but he said he had only just received
some important news, and could not rest until he had seen us.  He had been
round at the Conference-house, and had there seen a good many of the Elders.
They were all talking earnestly upon the same subject, for that day they had
received not only letters from the Apostle at Liverpool, but also copies of the
Millennial Star, with the Revelation in it, which I suppose you have seen.  Of
course it was impossible for them to doubt any longer, but most of them felt it
was a cruel blow. Elder Shrewsbury said they looked at one another, but did
not dare to speak. Nearly all of them had been anxiously trying to get rid of
the false scandal, as they supposed the accusation of Polygamy to be; and in
public in their sermons, and in private to all the weak brethren, they had over
and over again solemnly declared that Polygamy was unheard of among the
Saints, that it was a Gentile lie; and they had proved from the Bible, and from
the Book of Mormon, that a doctrine so sinful could never be believed or practiced by God's people.
Now, all this would be thrown in their teeth. Those who hated Mormonism
would revile them for it, and, worse still, the Saints themselves would despise
and doubt them for the lies which many of them had innocently tol. Who
could tell where all this would end? When they were found to have been
deceived in a matter like Polygamy, about which it was so easy to arrive at facts
and certainty, who would trust them concerning other doctrines which depended
upon their veracity and testimony alone?
Then, too, there was worse to be said about the American Elders and Apostles. Who could believe that Orson Pratt or Lorenzo Snow knew nothing of
Polygamy? And yet they denied it in the most solemn way. And, oh, Sister
Stenhouse, think of the Apostle Taylor calling God to witness his truth when
he proved from the Book of Covenants that there was no such thing as Polygamy: and all the while he had himself five wives in Salt Lake City!  Oh, my!
This is dreadful. Whether the doctrine is true or not, I can never believe that
God would forgive all that abominable lying about it.
But I was telling you of that evening.
Elder Shrewsbury told us all this, but he spoke slowly and disjointedly, like a
man whose mind is troubled. He said he hardly knew what he was doing.
Then he gave Mrs. Elsworth a copy of the Star, and he asked me, too, to read
the Revelation carefully before I condemned it.
"If the Revelation, as you call it, allows Polygamy," I exclaimed, "it is a lie,
and I hate and despise it, and you, and Mormonism, and all!" I was quite in a
fury, and I did feel as if I hated him then. 
"NICE FOOD FOR BABES!'
He did not answer me; he seemed too cut up to utter a word, but I did not
pity him. I felt that men who would write such a revelation as that for their
own wicked purposes deserved all the hatred which the cruellest heart could
muster up-they were loathesome to any pure-minded woman. Then we went
down stairs, for I generally go to see him out. He took my hand in his to shake
it, and he held it there, although I tried to take it away, and he said mournfully, "Sister Mary, I know you have good cause for anger; but be just.  I
have been just as much deceived as ever you have been. It has unsettled all
my faith; even our best and most tried Missionaries are shrinking from it. Do
not blame me for what I have not done. I never deceived you about it."
"How can I tell that?" I said.  "If the Apostles thought nothing of deceiving us and perjuring themselves, how can I trust any one? If they had only
held their tongues, I should have thought it wrong for them to passively let us
be deceived; but you yourself know how solemnly they affirmed that it was all
false. I tell you fairly, I hate them."
The Apostles, he said, had told some who were strong enough in the faith to
bear it, all the truth, but they gave us milk, as the Bible says, because we were
babes and our faith was weak.
"Nonsense!" I said, "to tell me such stuff as that! As if the Bible called
lies and perjury'milk!' Nice food for babes, indeed!  Why, it's blasphemy
even to talk so!"
"I cannot help it, Sister Mary," he said:-" I am more sorry than I can tell
you-but what can I do?"
I did not answer him, and after a few moments, during which he still held my
hand in his, he said:-" Mary, I want to speak to you alone about these things;
I have much that I want to say, and I don't want Mrs. Elsworth to be with us.
Can I see you, to-morrow evening, if I call?  Can I speak with you for half an
hour by ourselves?"
"I wish you would not call me'Mary,' any more, Elder Shrewsbury," I said;
"it is too familiar now. We have been far too friendly, but, thank God, I have
found out in time, and know how to act. I hardly think I ought to let you call
me Sister Mary even;-there can be no brotherhood or sisterhood with Polygamy; but I don't want to be unkind to you." Then I told him that he might
come as he said, and that I would ask Mrs. Elsworth to let me see him.
He went away looking most miserable, and Mrs. Elsworth scolded me for
being so long at the door. I suppose she thought we were love-making, but
she was greatly mistaken. She did not seem much pleased or vexed about the
Revelation, and she told me that she knew quite well before that it would come
some day; and as she said that there was a peculiar look of determination about
her mouth that I had never noticed before.  I felt sure at once that she had
formed a plan of some kind, that she would carry it out if it cost her her life.
Then I went to my own room, and tried to think the matter out. If I were
married, as you are, Sister Stenhouse, and if my husband believed in the Revelation, I think I should go crazy. As it was, I felt it terribly. You know, dear, I
told you that I liked Elder Shrewsbury very well, but nothing more. Well, that
was very true then, but now I know that it was not all the truth. I take care
that he shall never know what I think of him, but, entre nous, I know that he is
not the same to me as other people. I do not think I love him; no, I'm sure I
I0
'lI5'I 
LOVE-MAKING UNDER DIFFICULTIES.
don't nfow; but I do feel a great deal of interest in him. That night, however,
I felt very bad at him. That he had been deceived, I knew, and also that he
must have felt sorry for having deceived me; and, if he cares for me, he must
have felt uneasy for what I might say or do, now the doctrine was proclaimed.
But I thought that as a man he ought to have shown more courage, and not to
have appeared so thoroughly frightened before a girl like me.
Well, the more I thought of it, the more angry I became, and I couldn't sleep
all night. The next morning I wrote a little note to Elder Shrewsbury, saying
that after all that had happened, I had fully resolved not to see him again.
Many of my friends, I said, were married and could not help themselves, but I
both could and would. The Mormon sisters I should ever pity and love; but as
for the Mormon men, I would never have anything to do with one of them as
long as I lived. I did not want to be unkind to him personally, but I really
could not trust any one now.
Then I showed this note to Mrs. Elsworth, and asked her to give it to Elder
Shrewsbury that night when he came.
He came, of course, and he came again and again; but I would not see him;
and I did not even go to the meetings for fear of coming across him there. He
had long talks with Mrs. Elsworth, and tried to get her to interfere, and at last
he sent me a long letter, entreating me not to refuse him. I was cooler now,
and when Mrs. Elsworth said I ought at least to see him, even if I dismissed
him then, I agreed to do so, and the next night he came.
He was very humble that night. You know what torrents of eloquence he
pours forth about anything that interests him, and how earnest he is. But then
all his eloquence had fled. He hesitated and blundered until I really quite
pitied him. He came and sat by me, and would have taken my hand, but I
would not let him. He did not tell me that he loved me, but he spoke as if I
were conscious of the fact, and you know, of course, I couldn't help feeling that
he cared for me, whether he spoke about it or not. He assured me over and
over again that though he had often heard the scandal-as I had done-he did
not for a moment believe it; he said that he should nzever himself act up to the
Revelation; that if he loved it should be an undivided and all-absorbing love;
that he would rather have less glory in eternity, with one whom he could idolize,
than obey the Revelation on Polygamy, and obtain a higher position.
All this time he hardly once looked at me, but when I did see his eyes they
seemed very sorrowful and very earnest. I confess to you that what he said
made me feel very differently for him. For a man of his ability and talents, who
has such an influence, and wins so much respect from every one he meets, to be
sitting there all bashful, like a naughty child, before a young girl like me, and
all because he loved me, made me feel for him a pity which was very near to
love.
But it was not love quite; and I did not let him read my thoughts. I asked
him to tell me all he knew, and to explain to me the meaning of different parts
of the Revelation which were rather obscure to me; and he did so. Then he
tried to shake my resolution, and so anxious and troubled did he seem, that I
really do think that if I had asked him to give up Mormonism altogether, he
would have done so for my sake. I told him that I had quite resolved, now that
Polygamy was acknowledged, never to see him again, except as I might see the
152 
DECIDED MEASURES -MARY DISMISSES HER LOVER.  I53
other Elders at meeting. I said I believed I was still a good Mormon, as Mor mons used to be, but I would never receive Polygamy, or be more than an ordi nary friend to any one who did believe it. We talked together a good deal,
and we sat silently together a long while; and at last he rose to go. He kissed
my hand sorrowfully-and I didn't like to be vexed with him for doing so, he
looked so doleful-and he said he'd wait.and wait, ever so long, if I wanted him
to do so; but that he would hope on, trusting that some day I might change. I
told him I thought-I knew I should never change.
After that I only saw him at meeting. And, oh dear! you should see what
meetings we have now! Half the people don't attend, and everything is so
cold and lifeless. Some of our most earnest Elders never come; and it is said
among the brethren, that Polygamy will produce the greatest apostasy which the
Church has ever seen. Every one seems ashamed of it.
And now, dear, I have written you a terrible long letter, but you must please
forgive me, for I have no one to whom I can open my heart except to you. I
wish I had sonAe keepsake to remember you by.  Well, I don't mean that, but I
should so like to have your portrait. Did you not once tell me that Elder Stenhouse talked of learning photography? Does he ever practice it now? And if
so, couldn't you get him to take a shadow of yourself? I should so like to have
one. Mine I will send you as soon as it is taken. I mean to write again to you
in the course of a day or two, and then I'll tell you what Elder Shrewsbury said
about the Revelation itself. Meanwhile, dear, kiss both the babies, please, for
me; and write soon to your most affectionately loving,
MARY BURTON."
Poor girl! I said, as I folded up her letter; but it is better
for her to suffer a little now than for her to have been married
first, as I was, and then, when too late to go back, to have
Polygamy announced as an article of faith. 
CHAPTER XI.
MORMONISM IN ENGLAND:-PREPARING TO EMIGRATE.
A Blissful State of Ignorance-The Opinions of Monsieur Petitpierre-Strong
Arguments-How He Became an Apostate-" He Shall Rule oier Her "-The
Nobler Sex-How Women were Sufficiently Honored-Looking Anxiously
for a Chang -Establishing a Mormon Paper-Denouncing the Gentiles
Terrible Expectations-Hastening to Zion-A Journey of Many Days-The
Swiss Pilgrims-Death by the Way-Disobeying Counsel-The "Judg ments" of the Lord-The Love of Many Waxes Cold-The President of the
London Conference-Distinguished Apostates-Strange News from Zion An "Object of Interest"-Great Success of Mormonism in Britain-How
Saints were Re-baptized-Poor Elder Marsden!- The Emigration Season My Little Daughter Minnie-Saintly Treatment-A Visit from Mary Burton
-How Love Affairs Progressed-Pacifying a Lover-The Meaning of the
Word "Patience."
T was fortunate for the Swiss Mission that the new con  verts in general could not read any language but their
own, and thus were ignorant of the deceptions which the
American Elders had practiced upon the people.
Monsieur Petitpierre, the Protestant minister, who thought
that the Revelation ought to be "prayerfully considered," was
the only one who understood English, and his knowledge was
very limited. His wife did not at all coincide with him about
the prayerful consideration of Polygamy; she disposed of the
subject without any prayer at all, and it is to be regretted that
in this respect the whole body of the Mormon women did not
follow her example.
What arguments she used I do not know; but that they
were very much to the point no one can doubt, for they banished for ever all thoughts of Polygamy from her husband's
II 
A LITTLE ISHMAEL.
mind. It was said among the Saints that she was very ener getic in her private discussions with her husband. But how ever this might be, it is certain that Monsieur Petitpierre
resisted as long as he could, for the revelation quite fascinated
the childless old man, and it is possible that he might have
held fast to the faith; but, unfortunately, just then certain
documents and publications of the Apostles, and a very large
amount of evidence respecting them and their doings,
attracted his attention. He was in the main a good and
truthful  man, although of small mental calibre, and the
deceptions and contradictions which he discovered quite dis gusted him. His wife's strong personal arguments gave the
finishing blow to his faith, and the spell was broken. The
vision of a modern Hagar and a little Ishmael vanished from
his mind; he apostatised-and Mr. Stenhouse lost the services
of a very useful translator.
When I heard that he had left the Church, how I wished
that I could have followed in his footsteps. But apostasy
from Mormonism is only possible to two classes-the young
disciple, who has embraced the faith more from enthusiasm
than from conviction, whose experience is limited, and the
old disciple who has entirely outgrown it, and has become disgusted with it all.
I was neither of these. My faith was too firmly grounded
to admit of my giving it up. Though I hated Polygamy, I
did not dare to question the divinity of its origin. I only
pitied myself and my sex for the burden which God had seen
fit to place upon us. I never for a moment supposed that
any man would have been so wicked as to fabricate a "Revelation," or so blasphemous as to palm it off in the name of
the Lord.
Oh yes, I hated Polygamy in my heart. And my efforts in
teaching it only increased my hatred; for when I was gravely
told by the Elders that woman had been cursed in the Garden of Eden, and that Polygamy was one of the results of
that curse-"her desire shall be unto her husband, and he
shall rule over her! "-I must confess that my heart within me
I55: 
MY HUSBANDS WORK,-AND MINE.
was rebellious. From my earliest childhood I had thought of
God as a father and a friend, to whom I might go and tell all
my griefs and cares; but now He was presented to me as a
hard taskmaster, not as a father or a friend.
I met with much kindness, but I did not meet with much
sympathy from the brethren. They could not understand
that opposition to Polygamy was anything else than selfishness on the part of the sisters; they did not comprehend the
feelings of a woman's heart-its craving for some object
upon which to devote its whole wealth of love. They were
taught that theirs was a nobler position than that of the
sisters, and that women might consider themselves sufficiently
honored in being allowed to become the mothers of their children and to help in building up their "kingdom."
Of my Missionary work in Switzerland subsequent to the
introduction of Polygamy I will say but little, except that it
was too successful. The same sorrow and indignation which
Madame  Baliff had so forcibly expressed, were shown by
almost every new convert, and I had to bear the blame of
teaching such a doctrine. The sisters became unhappy, and
wished that they had died in ignorance of Mormonism; and I
felt humbled to the dust to think that I should be the innocent cause of so much misery to others. I looked anxiously
for a change, but the only change which seemed probable was
that we might be permitted to emigrate to Utah, and there
was no comfort for me in that prospect.
We remained in Switzerland until the close of the year
I854, and through the unremitting efforts of my husband,
Mormonism was introduced into six cantons of the Confederation. Monsieur Baliff became an indefatigable Missionary,
as was also Governor Stoudeman; and to their liberality and
zeal Mr. Stenhouse was greatly indebted. With the aid of
Monsieur Baliff, he established in Geneva a monthly periodical in the French language, for the edification of the Saints,
beside a volume in reply to the attacks of the clergy, and
many minor effusions.
At that time there was great excitement among the Saints
1-5'6 
SAINTS, AND THEIR SACRIFICE.
in Utah. Brigham Young and his Apostles were denouncing
the Gentiles in the most unmeasured language. As I write
a volume of sermons delivered at that time is before me, and
I really can hardly credit that so much ridiculous nonsense,
bad grammar, and blasphemy, could ever have been uttered
in a public place of worship;-yet it was so. The Saints
were told that in these last times all the Vials of the Wrath of
God were about to be poured upon the earth; wars and desolations, anarchy and persecution, fire, pestilence, and unheard
of horrors, were to desolate all the world, until men should
call upon the rocks to hide them, and in the bitterness of
their souls curse the day in which they were born; death was
to be sought for, but not found. Believing, as they did, that
all this was true, it is no wonder that the Saints in Europe
were alarmed, and became anxious to emigrate to Utah, where
they were told they would be safe. A seven years' famine
was said to be at the door, when a sack of wheat should be
sold for a sack of gold, and Gentile Kings and Princes were
to come and crouch to the Saints for a morsel of bread. The
very women in Zion were counselled to sell the ribbons from
their bonnets, to buy flour with the proceeds, and to hide it
away against the day of wrath. 
The brethren and sisters in Switzerland who could dispose
of their property hastened to "flee to Zion."  Some did so at
a ruinous sacrifice.  One gentleman-a Monsieur Robella-I
knew, who was part proprietor of a newspaper and printing
establishment.  In a very short time it would have been
entirely in his own hands; but he sold out at a great loss,
dreading that the storm might overtake him before he reached
the "Chambers of the Lord in the Mountains," as the Elders
called Salt Lake City.
The journey from Europe to Utah at that time occupied
six or eight months; it was a very tedious pilgrimage. My
Swiss friends had first to travel to Liverpool; thence by sailing vessel to New Orleans; by steamer up the Mississippi as
far as St. Louis; up the Missouri to the frontiers; and then
across the Plains by ox-teams. Much of this distance had to
I57 
THE PILGRIMS FROM SWITZERLAND.
be travelled during the worst part of the year. They left
their homes while the Jura Mountains were still draped in
snow, and those who escaped the ravages of cholera and the
perils of the way, reached their destination just as the frosts
of winter were beginning to whiten the hoary heads of the
hills which stand about Zion.
All the Swiss pilgrims travelled together until they arrived
at St. Louis; there they separated, one party going up the
river, and the other making the journey overland.   The
cholera attacked the latter party and cut off the greater number of them, and their bones now whiten the prairie.
The news of their death soon arrived in Switzerland, and
the people at Lausanne were exasperated against the Mormon
Missionaries, and when my husband visited that place he
found it prudent not to remain long. At the same time those
of the Saints whose relations had perished in the emigration
were pained to hear that it was because they "had not obeyed
counsel," and gone up the river with the other party, that they
fell by the way. And, as if in mockery of this statement, the
next news that we received was that a Missouri steamer, on
board of which were many Mormon Missionaries- all most
obedient to counsel-had been blown to atoms. Many'of the
Saints began to consider these things, and their love waxed
cold.
Through all this our position was anything but pleasant,
and my husband applied for permission to be released from
the Presidency of the Swiss and Italian Missions, in order
that he might "gather to Zion." His request was granted;
and in the autumn of I854, we bade a final adieu to Switzerland.
We might now be said to have begaun our journey to Zion,
although we tarried long by the way,  and several years
elapsed before we reached our destination.
When we arrived in London we obtained apartments in the
house of the President of the London Conference, and there
I had opportunities of observing the effects of the system
upon the English Saints. Elder Marsden, the President, was
I58 
WHISPERINGS OF FEARFUL DEEDS.
a thorough Mormon, and a man who was very highly thought
of. He had been acquainted with all the Apostles and High priests who had resided in Liverpool the great renidezvous of
the Saints in England; had been President of the Confer ence there, and now occupied the highest position of the
European mission. He was a pleasant, intelligent man, who
in his day had done much to build up the Church; but like
his two predecessors, John Banks and Thomas Margetts, he
also apostatised from the Mormonism of later years. At the
time, however, of which I speak, he was considered to be of
good standing among the Saints.
Up to this time I had never seriously doubted my religion,
and I probably never should have done so had it not been for
the introduction of Polygamy.   But what I saw in London at
that time sadly shook my faith, and the stories which I heard
from Utah quite frightened me. Nothing, of course, was
openly said, and at first I disbelieved every evil report, until
at last it was impossible for me altogether to reject what was
told me. The testimony of an Apostate or of a Gentile would
have been dismissed with contempt; but when we saw letters
from mothers to their children, and husbands to their wivesall people of unquestioned faith, setting forth the troubled
state of men's minds in Utah, expressing fears for their own
safety, and hinting at "cutting off" the transgressor, and the
doings of "Avenging Angels," we could not cast them aside
with contempt. My views of the glories of Zion were changing;-henceforth I was never firm in the faith-I felt that
there was somnetlinzg wrong.
Perhaps the reader may think that now I might have left
the Church, and thus have avoided all those troubles which
awaited me in Utah. But let him remember that, although
my faith was shaken, it was not wholly destroyed. All that I
clung to on earth my husband, whom I truly loved, and my
darling children-were part and parcel of Mormonism.   I
could not tear myself from them, and isolate my soul from all
that made life worth having.
My unsettled state. of mind, however, did not long remain
159 
I6o    THE DOINGS OF THE LONDON CONFERENCE.
a secret.  It was spoken of among the Saints, and I became
an object of interest. The Pastor over the London and
adjoining Conferences was the son of one of the chief Apostles in Utah-a young man, whose good nature was far better
than his religion.  He visited us very frequently, and used to
bring with him the distinguished American Elders who might
be visiting the metropolis. I have no doubt that they were
sincere in their desire to do me good, but it was not kind
attentions that I then needed, it was the removal of the cause
of my sorrows.
They tried to persuade me that it was all "the work of theLord;" but I could not see it in that light, and very often in
reply to their consolations I said very hard things of Polygamy and the leaders of the Church, whose conduct I considered sinful. And in this I did not stand alone, for I soon
found that the President of the Conference-Elder Marsden
-had been in the same position for years, and his wife was
"quite through" with Mormonism.  In fact, so great had been
the distrust occasioned by Polygamy, that in the report ending June 30th, I853, it was stated that from the whole British
Church-which then numbered very nearly thirty-one thousand souls-seventeen hundred and seventy-six had been excommunicated for apostasy!
Of those who remained faithful I cannot give a much more
cheering account. The Elders who visited President Marsden made as damaging reports of the condition of the Saints
as their worst enemies could desire. All that my young
friend, Mary Burton, had told me did not equal the truth of
what I saw for myself. No one had any confidence now in
what the Elders said;-how could they be trusted after so
many years of deception?
The Elders who visited me and reasoned with me about my
want of faith, tried to persuade me to be baptized again.
Among the Mormons it is the privilege of the faithful to be
baptized over and over again, as often as may be needed, for
the remission of their sins, which are thus washed away, and
the penitent is enabled to start afresh. At that time of fear 
I AM BAPTIZED AGAIN.
ful excitement in Utah, called by the Mormons "The Reformation," when people were being exhorted under terrible penalties to confess their sins, many were so frightened that they
acknowledged themselves guilty of crimes of which they had
never dreamed, while at the same time many horrible and
detestable sins were brought to light. Brigham and the leaders found that they were confessing too much-the sinners
were far more numerous than the godly. Brigham, with his
usual craft, soon found a way of escape; the people were told
to be baptized again, as then, their sins being washed away,
they could truly say they were not guilty of such crimes of
which they might be accused.
I was not convinced, and did not see that I had anything
to repent of, but I was quite willing to be re-baptized if it was
thought proper. At the same time I stipulated that the President of the Conference-Elder Marsden-should be baptized
with me. I felt that if I required re-baptizing, how much
more necessary was it for Elder Marsden to have his sins
washed away also. I partly believed in the fearful stories
that I had heard from Zion, but it was he who had shown
them to me. The Pastor of the Conference gave no sign that
he suspected my meaning in wishing Elder Marsden to'be
baptized at the same time as I was, though I believe he must
have formed a pretty shrewd guess. And so we two went
down into the water, but I am afraid that little of our sins
was washed away. Not long after, President MIarsden apostatised, and my heart remained as hard as ever. At least I
was frequently told so.
Poor Elder Marsden! He was branded with the most
opprobrious titles which Mormon ingenuity or malice could
fling against him:-and yet I know of imany men-not one
nor two-associated most intimately with Brigham Young,
to-day, whose faith is not a whit stronger than that apostate's,
who serve the Prophet because it is their interest to do so,
but who in their hearts no more believe in his high pretensions than did James Marsden, the President of the London
Conference.
I6i 
" OUR LITTLE MINNIE.'
Meanwhile, the season for emigration had again arrived,
and we were directed to hold ourselves in readiness to start.
Although by no means unexpected, this "counsel" to emrnigrate came very painfully to me, for every step we took
toward Utah seemed to bring me nearer to the realisation of
my worst apprehensions. I had lost my affection for Mormonism, and my enthusiasm had now quite melted away.
But to refuse to go was altogether out of the question.
Two little ones had been added to our family in Geneva,
and a fourth was born in London, the Christmas day after our
return from the Continent. The foggy atmosphere of the
metropolis did not agree with them at all-accustomed, as
they had been, to the pure and bracing air of Switzerlandand I soon had serious illness in my family. My second
little girl, Minnie, was so sick that we almost despaired of her
life, and the others required constant attention, while the
little baby boy only a few weeks old, was seldom out of my
arms.  Just then it was, when so very awkwardly situated,
that the notification came for us to set our faces Zionward.
They chided us for our want of faith, because we did not
take our poor little sick child from her bed at the risk of life;
but I thank God now that nature was stronger than our fanaticism, and that our little girl was spared to grow up a blessing
of which we shall ever be proud.
One day, President Marsden came to me confidentially and
told me that the brethren were determined that I should leave
England, and had counted upon my yielding in a moment of
despair. My husband was to be counselled to go without me
to Utah, if I persisted in my refusal.  After he had left
London, Elder Marsden was to give me notice to leave his
house; and left destitute, and entirely among strangers, it was
thought that I should be only too glad to follow.
I cannot tell how indignant I was; I could not find words
sufficiently contemptuous to express what I felt, but I reproached Elder Marsden with cowardice for agreeing to such
an inhuman proposition, and I declared that I would not risk
the life of my child if an eternity of suffering awaited me.
162 
NOT QUITE A SLAVE. 
My huisband was absent when this took place; but when
he returned he approved of what I had done; and Elder
Marsden was consequently "counselled" to send us away.
The doctor warned us against the danger of exposing my
little daughter to the cold in removing her, but we had no
choice, for we were obliged to leave. Those were very painful times. Constant watching and anxiety had undermined
my own health, and I fell ill. Even then, had we been left
alone, we might have escaped much of our trouble, but the
incessant meddling of "counsel" was a perpetual irritation,
and we were completely worn out with annoyance.
A pleasant apartment at the west end of the town was
taken for me, by the advice of the medical man, and I was
removed thither with my baby. I was not equal even to the
task of taking care of that little thing, and had to procure the
assistance of a nurse; the other children were cared for by
friends. All that I needed was rest and tranquility of mind,
and I soon began to recover strength, though far from well.
But this state of quietude was soon to be disturbed. Again
we were notified that the last emigrant ship of the season
was about to leave, and we must sail in her, and again we
were obliged to refuse.   My  husband telegraphed to tte
Apostle at Liverpool that I was not well enough to travel,
and he was told to "bring me  along, and I should get
better." The Apostle (!) cared nothing for individual suffering,
providing the ambitious plans of the priesthood in Salt Lake
City were carried out. But my husband, anxious though he
was to set out for Utah, and obedient, as he ever was to
"counsel," was not such a slave as they thought him, and he
positively refused to go. For this he was very much blamed,
and it was said that his own faith must be wavering.
Since my arrival in London I had several times seen my
young friend, Mary Burton, but some one was always present
at the time. She had, as she told me in her letters, very
greatly changed, for she had now become quite a young lady.
Still she retained most of her winning ways, though her
childish prettiness had given place tc the more mature beauty
-I63 
MARY BURTON'S LOVERS
of womanhood, and when I saw her I was not surprised that
she should be an object of attention, or that Elder Shrewsbury should have felt so deeply her rejection of him. She
was as loving to me as ever, and when she found that we
could not have one of our old quiet chats together, on account
of the people who were present, she promised to call on me
some afternoon when we should be quite alone.
Before she came, however, I had a visit from another person, whom I little expected to see. This was no other than
Elder Shrewsbury himself, who, I had been informed, had left
London some months before. This, after the usual salutations, he told me was quite true; —he had left London and
gone to work as a Missionary hundreds of miles away; trying
to forget his disappointment, but to no purpose.  His was
one of those natures which, though kind and considerate to
every one, are not ready to form hasty attachments, but
which, when once they do meet with an object upon which to
lavish their affections, become devoted in friendship and
unchanging in love. Their affections flow more deeply than
those of most people.
Such was Elder Shrewsbury, and such I thought he would
always be; but what disposition, however good, can be relied
upon when influenced by religious fanaticism?  He stood
before me, tieiz, manly and upright in his bearing, truthful and
honest, a man who would have scorned evasion or deceit, and
his every thought of Mary was replete with tenderness and
love. And yet I lived to see that man again, in Utah-alas,
how changed a man!
Before we first left England I was acquainted with Elder
Shrewsbury, but not very intimately. We had had one or
two interesting conversations together, but I remembered
him chiefly in connection with Mary Burton. It was about
her that he now came to see me;-he wanted me to talk to her
and intercede with her in his behalf. But I was no mnatchmaker, and all my thoughts respecting love and marriage had
recently been anything  but pleasant.  I told him plainly that
I thought Mary had dose quite right in refusing to see him;
7i6A 
ONE OF EVE'S.
and, in fact, declining to receive the attentions of any Mormon man. I did not doubt his love for her at present, I said,
but no one could any longer rely upon a Mormon Elder's
word. Years to come, when they had a little family growing
up around them, and when it would be too late for Mary to
repent of trusting him, he might suddenly be convinced of
the necessity of obeying the Revelation, and then, what could
she do?  No! Even supposing that she loved him, which, I
said, was very questionable, it was better that she should suffer a disappointment now than have her heart wrung with
cruelty and neglect in after years.
"What!" he cried, his eyes flashing with indignation; "do
you take me for a dog that I should treat her so?"
"No, no," I said, and tried to pacify him; "I do not think
anything bad of you, but I look upon you as a man who is in
love, and therefore blind. You think of nothing now but
Mary, and are willing to sacrifice everything, and to promise
anything, providing you can win her. But when she has
become your wife, if she ever does, and you have time to cool
down, you'll begin to see things in another light. You'll find
that she is a real ordinary woman, made of flesh and blood,
like all th6 other daughters of Eve, and with, I daresay, qurte
as many whims, and fancies, and perverse ways as any ot
them; and then, when she ceases to be'an angel' in your eyes,
and becomes merely a woman, you'll begin to assert your right
to think and judge for yourself, and very probably all your
former devotion to your religion will return."
"Sister Stenhouse," he replied, "you do not seem to have
a very high opinion of my constancy; but I can assure you
that I have given this matter my most earnest, prayerful
thought. My love for Mary I need not mention; my devotion to my religion you only partly know. While we were
told that Polygamy was not true, no one could be more steadfast in the faith than I was; and when the Revelation came, I
looked upon it as a blight and a curse to the Church of God,
and how well-founded my fears were you can see from this
terrible apostasy which has come upon us. I almost myself
I65 
" THE MEANING OF THAT WORD."
left the Church.' Then I went to the Apostle, and I told him
how I was situated. I told him all about Mary, and my devotion to her; that I wished to win her for my wife, but that I
knew she would not marry me if she thought there was the
shadow of a chance that I should live up to the Revelation.  I
told him that I myself should be perfectly wretched in Polygamy, and that it was impossible that I should love more than
one. The Apostle said that I was quite right in all this. We
had no proof, he said, in the Bible, that Isaac had more than
one wife, and he was accepted by God.  He counselled me
to do all I could to win Mary, and told me that I might truthfully promise her that I would never enter into Polygamy.
But Mary would not so much as listen to me-in fact, since
then she never would see me alone."
"I am not sure," I answered, "whether I am doing right;
but I don't mind saying to you that I think, from what I have
seen of Mary, that she does not dislike you; but she is a sensible girl, and does not choose to risk the happiness of her
whole life."
He was vexed with me for saying this. How could I suppose that he would wreck her happiness? Was he not willing to die if it would give her a moment's pleasure? And
much more lovers' nonsense he talked. He had met her at
the meetings sometimes, but she had very coldly said goodmorning, or evening, as the case might be; but whenever he
had ventured a word more than that, she had made some
excuse to leave him. What he wanted me to do was to invite
Mary to meet him with me, and to use my influence with her
in his favor. I answered him very kindly, and did my best to
reassure him, but I told him that I never would try to influence the conduct or affections of any one in a matter of the
heart; such things should take their own course; and if he
waited patiently no doubt all would be well.
"Patience!" he said; "Sister Stenhouse, do you think a
man in love knows the meaning of that word?  Patience,
indeed I"
i66 
CHAPTER XII.
EMIGRATING TO ZION:-WE ARRIVE IN NEW YORK.
),ary Burton Tells her Story-A Persevering Lover-A Long Conversation Some "Strong Points" of the Revelation-A Trifling Circumstance-Terrible
Doings in Zion-How Orson Hyde became an Apostate-He Bears Witness
Against Joseph Smith-"Danites" and "Avenging Angels"-Murders Commit ted by "Indians!"-Emigration in the Old Times-A Journey of Nine Months
-How the Mormon Emigration was Managed-A Favored Apostle-How
the Profits were Pocketed-On Board Ship-We Suffer Loss-How we were
Deceived-An Untruthful Apostle-How Poor Mr. Tennant was Robbed Brigham Young Acts his Accustomed Part-Love and Marriage at Sea Cooking Under Difficulties-" Harry and the Rats "-A Smart Lad-An An cient Scotch Sister-Working "for a Consideration "-Christmas on Board
Ship-Cruel Treatment of Seamen-A New Year in the New World.
THE  afternoon following, Mary herself came to see me,
her face all flushed with excitement, and eager to tell me
something.
"Who do you think I've been talking to, Sister Stenhouse?" she exclaimed, "You'd never guess."
"I don't think there's much need for guessing," I said,
"Your face betrays the secret, Mary."
"Well," she said, "perhaps it does, but you wouldn't wonder
at it, if you only knew how very anxious I have been. All this
time I have kept my word, and I did not see him or speak to
him once, except at meetings, and not much then, and I have
been very unhappy. This afternoon I came round about an
hour ago to see you, and there on the step was Elder Shrewsbury. He said he was here yesterday, and was just going to
call on you again, and then he asked me to go a little way with
II 
A LOVER'S ELOQUENCE.
him, as he had something very important to say to me. At
first I refused to go, but he wouldn't listen to it for a moment.
So I went with him, and we have been talking ever since; or
rather he has been talking, and I have been listening to him.
I can't tell you, Sister Stenhouse, all he said-you can guess
better than I can tell you. But I'm afraid I shall not be able
to keep my resolution much longer, for when we came back to
the door again he said he wouldn't come in to see you now, and
when he begged me to let him call at Mrs. Elsworth's to-morrow night, I did not feel it in my heart to refuse him;-was it
very wrong of me to do so?"
Said I-" I'm afraid, Mary, my opinion would not matter
much either way; Elder Shrewsbury's eloquence is the music
which you like best to listen to."
She blushed, and came and sat down beside me, and we
talked together until the sun went down and my little room
was quite dark. I told her of my troubles in Switzerland and
of the miserable effects of introducing Polygamy there; and
she in return told me all her love affairs with Elder Shrewsbury and of her resolution not to listen to him unless he solemnly promised never to have anything to do with the hated
Revelation. Her faith in Mormonism itself had, as I expected,
been very severely shaken, and I think that had it not been
for my efforts to re-assure her, she would have left the Church
at that time. Would, to God, she had.
After tea, she said-" Have you a copy of the Revelation
here, Sister Stenhouse? I want to show you some strong
points in it which I think will astonish you. I learned all
about it from Elder Shrewsbury that night when he came to
see me, and it was that that disgusted me with the whole
affair." We searched through my trunk but could not find
the document, and I told her that I had not patience to read
it quite through when it was given to me, and that since
then I was not sure that I had even seen it. " Never
mind," she said, "I'll bring it with me when I come again."
How often have I thought since how much depended upon
that trifling circumstance.  Had we then together read over
i68 
WHISPERINGS OF SCANDAL.
the Revelation and noticed the "strong points," of which she
spoke, I believe my eyes would have been opened and I never
should have submitted to the misery which I afterwards en dured in Utah.
By and by she asked me whether I had heard anything of the
terrible doings out in Zion, and I, in return, asked her what
doings she alluded to.
"Well," she said, "I hardly like to tell you, if you have
heard nothing about the matter, for I'm not quite sure
whether it all is true; but we have had some strange reports
floating about here, just like the reports of Polygamy, before
it was acknowledged. It is said that in the time of Joseph
Smith a band of men was organised who put to death any one
who was troublesome to the Church or offended the Elders.
Some people say that it was one or perhaps more of this band
who fired at Governor Boggs, of Missouri, and who killed
many other Gentiles. Dr. Avard and Sidney Rigdon are
said to have been mixed up in the matter, and that wretched
man, John C. Bennett, tells a frightful story about it. But that
is not the worst, for Elder Shrewsbury himself told me long
ago that Thomas B. Marsh, the then President of the Twelve,
when he apostatised, took oath that the Saints had formed a
"Destruction Company," as he called it, for the purpose of
avenging themselves, and Orson Hyde, in a solemn affidavit
swore that all that Marsh had said was true."
"Well dear," I said, " I've heard all that before, but no doubt
it is all scandal."
"I'm afraid not," she replied; "for I have heard from people
who ought to know, that since the Saints have been in Salt
Lake Valley the same things have been done; only now they
speak of those men as "Danites" and "Avenging Angels."
People say that those who are dissatisfied and want to leave
Zion, almost always are killed after they set out, by the Indians,
and they dare not say boldly who they believe those "Indians"
are. Then, too, one lady told me that she had heard from her
sister' that not only were apostates killed in a mysterious way
by Indians or some one else, but that many people were "mis
I69 
THE MORMON EMIGRATION.
sing," or else found murdered, who were only suspected of
being very weak in the faith. These things are horrible, and
sometimes I think I will never go out to Zion."
I had heard these very same stories, and told her so; and I
tried to make her believe that they were without foundation;
but I could see that what she had heard had made a great impression on her mind. So I turned the conversation to other
topics, and we talked over our plans and prospects for the
future. Neither of us were very hopeful-she because she
was undecided what course to pursue; I because of the
shadow of coming sorrow which already began to darken my
way. We tried, however, to comfort each other; and when
she left I certainly felt more assured and hopeful.
At this time I was left much alone, for my husband having
no business in which to employ himself was sent by the Pastor of the London Conference to travel among the Saints;
domestic comfort or the claims of a wife were never for a
moment thought worthy of consideration. Then it was that
I felt how lonely one may be in the midst of that Great City.
Towards the end of the year I855, it was determined that a
company of Mormon emigrants, numbering several hundreds,
should leave Liverpool en route for Salt Lake City; and for
that purpose a vessel was chartered early in November. This
was not the ordinary season for emigration, but there were
then in England numbers of the Saints, anxious to go to Zion,
but too poor to pay their passage all the way. It was thought
that when they arrived in New York they would have time
to earn sufficient to carry them on, and it was then supposed they could join those who came over by the ordinary
spring emigration. My husband and myself were counselled
to join these emigrants in Liverpool and proceed at once to
New York.
I was now strong enough to travel, and though far from well,
and the prospect of such a journey in the middle of winter, was
anything but cheering. My husband, however, who was anxious to go, smoothed away every difficulty, and it was resolved
that this time.we should "obey" counsel.
170 
JOURNEYING ZIONWARD,-A LONG, LONG WAY.
The reader may perhaps think me somewhat unreasonable
in regarding such a journey as more than an ordinary annoyance;  but he should  remember  that I am  speaking
of eighteen years ago. The passage across the Atlantic
Ocean in mid-winter is anything but inviting even under
the best of circumstances, but in the old days of sailing-vessels it was infinitely worse. The ocean-steamers now make the
passage in from ten to fourteen days; but then a month was considered a good, quick passage for a sailing boat. Then too the
modern accommodations-even for steerage passengers-bear
no comparison with the frightful disorder and utter lack of comfoirt experienced in former times. All this ought to be taken
into consideration when speaking of the early Mormon emigr;nts and the sacrifices which that people then made
foi' their faith. There was the same difference between them
and the snug little party which a year ago crossed the ocean
under the guidance of the councillor Apostle G. A. Smith, and
the childless versifier Eliza R. Snow, as there was between
St. Paul braving the perils of shipwreck with the tempestuous
Euroclydon, and the modern orthodox missionary with wellfilled purse and comfortable outfit on board the magnificent
steamers of the Mediterranean.
The Mormon emigration has always been a well-managed
business; and, forming a united body, under the guidance of
inspired leaders, the Mormons have never given so much trouble
as ordinary passengers. At the time of which I speak, the emigration was on a much larger scale than at present; although
even now several thousand converts arrive every summer in
New York on their way to Utah. Now the journey from
Liverpool to Salt Lake City is accomplished easily in less
than a month;-then it required nine. The Saints used then
to speak of Zion as being "a thousand miles from everywhere;" and when they went East they used to talk of" going
to the States" as if they belonged to another nation:-but
now the Great Pacific Railway has knit together the utmost
limits of this vast country, and a journey to the Far West is
only a pleasant summer tour.
I71 
HOW WE BEGAN OUR TRAVELS.
Every presiding Elder in Britain is a Mormon EmigrationAgent:- unpaid, but no less effective.  It is a part of his mission.  The Elder presiding over "the office" at Liverpoolgenerally some favored Apostle-pockets all tAe Sprofits of the
transaction, and has but little trouble in return. The Saints
are notified through the Star of the day when the vessel will
sail, and are told to forward their emigration-money, or at
least a portion of it;-as the Church risks nothing. The
Apostle, being thus secured by the deposits, arranges with the
shipping agent for the passage of a specified number of
persons, and receives a very nice commission upon each emigrant-which commission is one of the chief perquisites of
his office.
The Mormons in London were very kind to us before we
left and did all they could to help us in preparing for our
journey. A kinder people than the Saints in Europe could nowhere be found. My husband had been directed to take
charge of the emigrants in the transit from London to Liverpool, and consequently I received no assistance from him. It
seemed to me a very cruel arrangement for the Elders to take
away from me and my helpless little ones the very person to
whom we  ought naturally to have turned for protection;
but what were the feelings of a weak woman when they
came in conflict with the "counsel" of inspired Apostles?
We arrived in Liverpool the same evening, and there my
husband was relieved of the charge of the company, and some
of the brethren were appointed to see that the baggage was
safely transferred from the railway to the ship. Early
the next morning we went on board, and it was not long
before we began to experience the pleasures (?) of an emigrant life.
Before we set out for Liverpool, I had been told that on
board ship I should be able to obtain all the help that I might
desire; and anxious to provide for the comfort of the children,
I engaged the services of two young girls to look after them
and assist me generally. This was an imprudent step, as I
afterwards found to my cost; but at the time I thought that
172 
FIRST EXPERIENCES ON BOARD SHIP.
I had made a very sensible arrangement. Help being secured, my next thought was to get our berths fixed, so that all
might be ready before the rolling of the ship began. My first
enquiries were for our bedding; but it was no where to be
found. Now this was very annoying, for we were all tired and
the children, poor things, were fidgetty; and anticipating a
long and unpleasant voyage I wanted to have everything in
readiness. Besides which I had made special preparations in
the shape of many additional comforts which I knew on board
ship would be absolutely necessary, and had even sold my
watch and jewelry for that purpose.
I enquired of the proper authorities, but could obtain no
information, and nothing remained but for me to wait until the
Apostle came on board to bid a final adieu to the emigrants.
I felt this annoyance all the more as I considered that we had
no right to expect such mismanagement. We would naturally have preferred to make our own arrangements and to
go alone, had we been permitted to do so; but we had, over
and over again, been instructed not to go by any other vessel
but that chartered by the Apostle Richards, that so we
might escape the perils which were sure to overtake the Gentiles. Imagine our disgust when we found that as thtre
were not enough of the Saints to occupy the whole ship, the
lower deck was filled with Irish emigrants of the most barbarous type, and that their luggage and ours had been thrown
together indiscriminately into the hold. Most of the Mormon
emigrants recovered their property when they arrived at New
York, but as for our own, personally, we never saw it
again, and all the voyage through we were left utterly destitute.
The Apostle Richards and Pastor Kimball came on board
before the vessel sailed and I told them all about it. We
could not possibly put to sea in that condition, I said, and I
wanted to leave the ship. He promised that the things should
be looked after, and assured me that on no account should we
be permitted to sail without being properly provided for. I
not only trusted their word as gentlemen but I believed in
I73 
HOW MR. TENANT LOST HIS MONEY.
them as favored servants of God; and when subsequently I
found that they had wilfully deceived me I became conscious
that there was as little of the true and truthful gentleman
about some of the modern Apostles, as there was of the apostle about ordinary gentlemen.
Thus  in the cold, foggy days of an English  November
we set out, bereft of the commonest necessaries, and deceived
by our own leaders, to begin a new life in a new world.
I would not for my own sake mention these unpleasant
reminiscences were it not that so many mean and cruel deceptions-and, were it not that I do not care to use harsh
words, I might call downright "swiidiles"-had come beneath
my observation in connection with the Mormon emigration
in past years. I will mention one alone which ought not to
be passed by unnoticed.
In'the year 1854, Brigham Young and the leading Elders
were most anxious to draw to Zion the converts from every
part of the globe; and for this purpose the faithful were called
upon to bring in freely their contributions to the Perpetual
Emigration Fund. To set them an example, Brother Brigham himself stated that he would present as a free-gift his
own property-a valuable city house and lot, if any purchaser
could be found wealthy enough to purchase it. An English
gentleman named Tenant, a new convert, accepted the offer and
advanced the money-thirty thousand dollars-and set out for
Salt Lake Ci'.ty, expecting there to be put in possession of the
property. He was one of the unfortunate Hand-Cart Emigrants, of whom I shall presently have occasion to speak more
fully; and he died on the plains. His wife and children, when
they arrived in the Valley, were told that the transaction was
not made with them but with Mr. Tenant, and all their efforts
to obtain the property, which in common justice was theirs,
were unavailing. At the present moment Mr. Tenant's wife
lives in miserable poverty in Salt Lake City, while there is no
one to bring the honest Prophet to account.
The vessel sailed, and we heard no more of our property.
Whether it ever left London, or whether some obliging
I74 
MISERIES OF AN EMIGRANT SHIP.
brother took charge of it on his own account, I cannot say,
but I could form a pretty good guess. I frequently see that
man in Salt Lake City, and I aways think of my bedding
when I see him. Nothing, however, remained but for me to
put the best face I could upon matters. I took my wearing
apparel and other articles out of the trunks and put them into
pillow slips, and extemporised as well as I could a rough substitute for beds. These served for the children, and I covered them with my cloaks and shawls; and for our own
berths and bed-covering I had only a few pieces of carpet
which I had put aside for the cabin floor, together with a
worn-out blanket which an old lady on board was good
enough to lend me.
We had not been long at sea when the young sisters whom
I had engaged to help me, fell sick, and some of the brethren
were very anxious to nurse them. This appeared to be quite
the established order of things, for I then found that it was
very seldom that a Mormon emigrant ship crossed the ocean
without one or more marriages on board. It was, no doubt,
very interesting to them, but to me it was extremely inconvenient, especially considering that my husband had now
taken to his berth, which he did not leave during the remainder of the voyage, and myself and the children were not
much better off.
Sick as I was, I had to prepare our food, and manage everything, for in those times emigrants either took out their own
provisions or were allowanced in raw material, and in either
case had to do their own cooking. My chief difficulty was ill
getting what I had prepared to the fire-galley, for I could nol
leave the children, and I was afraid to venture myself upon
deck. So I got any of the brethren who chanced to be passing to take it up, and of course they were willing to oblige
me; but the galley was so crowded every one having his or
her own interests to attend to-that I very rarely, if ever, had
my provisions decently cooked, and on more than one occasion I never saw them again. This was an inconvenience
which modern emigrants do not suffer at the present day.
I75
i 
" HARRY AND THE RATS."
Unsuccessful with the young sisters, I thought I would try
if I could not get one of the brethren to help me, and fortune
at first appeared to favor me. There was on board a young
man-Harry, they called him,-and he was so situated that
I found it easy to open a negotiation with him. He had been
a saddler's apprentice in a country town in England, and having listened to some itinerant preacher, had been converted,
joined the Church, and begun to think for himself. So hearing that terrible judgments were quickly coming upon the Old
World, he resolved to flee to the New, and in his hurry to get
there he forgot to inform his master that he was about to
leave. This accounted for his being so badly provided for.
Now, Harry had those two great blessings-a splendid
appetite and unimpeachable powers of digestion. I will not
say that he enjoyed these two blessings, for that he did not,
on account of lacking a third blessing, namely, the wherewithal to make the first two blessings a pleasure, and not an
inconvenience. The ship's allowance was altogether insufficient for him, and he, therefore, gladly engaged to do what
few things I required upon condition that I should add a little
to his own private commissariat.
Harry was a smart lad and at first very useful, and'he soon
convinced me that he had told the truth when he said that
he had not had enough to eat ever since he came on boardit seemed to me very questionable whether he ever had
before. He had, however, nothing to complain of in that
respect while in our employment, for although the children
were able to eat whenever we had anything fit for them, my
husband and myself could seldom touch our rations, and as
everything that was not used fell to Harry's share, he fared
pretty well.
Harry was not the lad to neglect his own interests, and as
our interests appeared just then to be his also, matters worked
very harmoniously. Our bread was never now brought back
to us half raw or burnt to a cinder. It must be properly
cooked for our eating or it would not do for Harry's, and as
for it being lost or delayed on its way to or from the galley
170 
AN ANCIENT SCOTTISH SISTER.
that was, of course, quite out of the question. But the
strangest thing of all connected with Harry was that immediately after his coming we were incessantly annoyed by the
rats. I had brought for the children's use a small supply of
preserves and other little delicacies; but these mysteriously
disappeared with alarming rapidity, and whenever I saved any
trifle for the children to eat between meals, that also was gone
when it was wanted, and in every instance Harry suggested
that it was "the rats," though I never could find any traces
of those interesting animals. I was sorry to part with Harry,
for he used to tell funny stories to the children, and amused
them a great deal, but "the rats" and Harry were so closely
associated in my mind that I thought if Harry left, the rats
might perhaps also cease their visits. So Harry went, and I
was once more left alone to do the best I could.
The weather was very cold, and though we wore our clothing day and night, we felt its severity very much. The rigging of the ship was hung with icicles, and without fire or
warmth of any sort, it is no wonder that we all were soon
hardly able to move from cold and sickness. I have heard
emigrants who came over in steam-vessels say that even in
mid-winter the heat in their berths was almost unendurable;
but in a sailing-vessel there were, of course, no engine fires
to warm the ship, and the passengers suffered accordingly.
In the midst of my trouble I was told of an ancient Scotch
sister-a maiden lady, sharp and shrewd,-who, like the miser
in Scott's "Forturfes of Nigel," was willing to help us "for a
consideration." So we talked the matter over, and it was
agreed that she should give me her services for the remainder of the voyage; and the "consideration" was to be two
pounds English. Small as was our stock of money, and much
as I knew we should need it upon our arrival, I felt that I
could do no better than engage her. There was no saying
upon whom she might chance to set her maiden fancy, but
there was not the remotest chance of any of the brethren falling
in love wzth her; so I considered her a safe investment, and,
besides, I must have somebody-there was no alternative.
177 
I78     CHRISTMAS AT SEA-DISAPPOINTED HOPES.
It was now Christmas time-a season which in England
was always sacred to joyous memories and festivities; but
to us, exiles and wanderers, seeking a land of which we knew
nothing, and which to us was a new and untried world, it was
far from being a happy time. In the midst of the wild, dreary
ocean there was nothing to recall the pleasant reminiscences
of the past, or to inspire us with hope and courage as we
thought of the future.
The Captain told us that we might prepare to eat our
Christmas dinner in New York; but he was mistaken. I can
form no opinion of the captain as a seaman, but as a man I
detested him for his cruel treatment of two unfortunate men
who were under him. These men-one a Spaniard, and the
other a Hungarian-had agreed to work out their passage to
New York, but they were quite unfit for sea life. One of them
when he refused or was unable to go up into the shrouds,
was dragged aloft by main force, and there they tied him,
and there they kept him until he was nearly frozen to death.
On another occasion they beat both of these men with spikes,
and I feared they would kill them, and their cries and groans
right above my head were most painful to listen to. In fact,
so badly were they treated that on their arrival theyhad to
be carried to the hospital.  Such was the "discipline" on
board that ship.
The Captain was mistaken in his calculations. We did not
eat our Christmas dinner in New York, as he had promised.
A storm came on, which compelled us to stand out to sea
again, and then a dead calm followed, and it was not until
New Year's eve that we set foot upon the shore of the New
World.
We were now three thousand miles nearer to Zion; but my
heart misgave me as I thought of the future, and the first
New Year's day that I spent in the United States was any
thing but a day of pleasure to me. 
CHAPTER XIII.
LIFE IN NEW YORK:-CONDUCTING A MORMON PAPER.
An Introduction to a New World-The New York Saints-How Certain Elders
Disappeared-An Uncomfortable Week-Left all Alone-Love Waxing Cold
-Mental Slavery-The School-House at Williamsburgh-Miserable Condi tion of the Emigrants-Suffering for Their Faith-The Apostle Taylor Lec.
tures the Saints-Some Smart "Counsel "-Buying Shovels-An Unprofit able Speculation-The "Mean Yankee Gentiles "-Days and Nights of Trial
-How the " MFormon" was Edited-A Rather Small Salary-The Doings of
High-Priests and "Seventies "-An Amiable Connecticut Girl-Ihalf-a-dozen
Wives-Permission from Brigham Young-Certain Elders who had "Disease
of the Heart"-The Course of True Love-A Young Widow Who Looked
Well in Weeds-Arranging the Affairs of the Heart-The True Source of
Modern Revelations.
ERY cold, and dark, and dreary, were the first days which
we spent in the New World.  That faith which once had
led me to hope, and believe, and endure all things, was now
powerless to nerve me to any new course of action for my
religion's sake; for the dark shadow of Polygamy had come
across my way; hope had fled, and my love, with the love of
many other faithful Saints, had waxed cold.
To my husband and children I was, of course, devotedly
attached, and was willing to combat any difficulty or endure
any trial with them, or for their sake; and it was not long
before my constancy was put to the test.
The Mormon emigrants have always a Captain and two
"Counsellors" to every company. The Captain on board the
Emerald Isle-the vessel in which we came-was a returning
Utah Elder;-one of his Counsellors was also a returning
Elder, and my husband was the other. As soon as the Mor 
THE BEGINNING OF A NEW LIFE.
mon Captain had come on shore, aud had reported to the
Apostle in charge of the New York Saints, he left to visit his
friends. The Utah Counsellor had a young lady in the company to whom he had become very much attached, and who
afterward became one of his wives.   I was not, therefore,
surprised that, as soon as he could get his baggage, he also
should disappear; but my husband-the other Counsellorbeing encumbered with a wife and family, was obliged to
remain, and the whole charge of seeing to the company
devolved upon him.
We had, therefore, to remain in Castle Gardens until the
whole company of emigrants was provided for; and during all
the next week I, with my four children, remained in that public place, sick and weary, and as destitute of bedding and
covering as we had been on board ship. The weather was
intensely cold, and, unaccustomed as we were to the severity
of an American winter, we suffered not a little. The other
unfortunate victims to faith were in the same condition, with
the exception that they had something to sleep on at nights,
while I had nothing but the bare boards for my bed since
we left Liverpool;-all that I could gather together had been
reserved for my babes. How we lived through that journey
I know not, but I am certain that, could I have forseen what
we should have to endure, I would never have left England,
whatever my refusal might have cost me.
I could not refrain from contrasting my life before and
since I knew Mormonism. Before, I scarcely knew what suffering was, so little had I been called upon to endure; I never
knew what it was to be without money, or to want for anything; but now I was in a strange land, in the depth of winter, without a home, without a pillow to rest my weary head
upon, and with a future before me so dark that not a single
ray of light gave to it the promise of hope. Could any
slavery be more complete than mine? My fanaticism and
zeal were all gone-I had nothing to sustain me. Certainly,
I was still held by the fear that Mormonism, after all, sigIt
be of God, and that all this suffering mightz be necessary for
I8o 
WHAT WAS DONE AT CASTLE GARDENS.
my salvation-but if at that time I had only had a friend whose
mind was clear from all the nonsense of Mormonism, and who
had felt sufficient interest in me to advise me for my good, I
think even then I might have freed myself from the mental
slavery in which I was bound. But I had no intercourse
with any but Mormons; and, indeed, a wish to form Gentile
friendships I should then have considered a sin.
A week after our arrival, my husband found time to seek
for apartments for his family, and I was thankful to leave our
miserable quarters at Castle Gardens.
The Mormon authorities had, meanwhile, given instructions
to the other emigrants how to act, and they did little more
than this. Those who had not found work or places to go to
were ordered to leave the Gardens, and received permission
to occupy an old dilapidated school-room in Williamsburgh,
which had been used for preaching. I went there almost
daily to see them, and therefore state what I saw as an eyewitness, and neither exaggerate nor misrepresent. There they
huddled together about one hundred and fifty men, women
and children. Most of the men had been respectable mechanics in their own country; many of them I had knows
personally and had visited in their cosy English homes; and
their wives and families had been decently brought up. What
they must have suffered under this change of circumstances I
leave the reader to guess.
In that miserable place they lived day and night-the poor,
dispirited mothers many of them very sick-having to cook,
and wash, and perform all the necessary domestic duties,
round two small sheet-iron stoves. It was not long before
the place became like a pest-house from so many being confined in so small a place, and breathing the same fetid and
pestilential atmosphere, and many of the young children died
of an epidemic which was raging among them.
They had saved some of their ship's provisions, and that
was all they had to eat, and it did not last long. To me it
was most distressing to witness so much misery without
being able to render any assistance, particularly to see the
i8i 
LECTURING THE BRETHREN.
poor little children shivering and crying with hunger and cold,
while many of their mothers were in such a miserable state
of apathy that they paid little or no attention to them. I
often tried to awaken in them feelings of human sympathy,
but I was met with a murmur of discontent-the people, men
and women alike -seemed to be utterly demoralised. Nor
can this be a matter of wonder; for in England the men had
been told that-while at home they could only earn four or
five shillings a day, and would never be able to put by enough
to carry them all the way to Utah-in New York they would
be able to earn two-and-a-half to three, and even four dollars a
day- equal to from ten to sixteen shillings English-and that
employers would even come on board ship anxious to engage
them. Thus they had by false statements been allured from
their homes and plunged into the most abject poverty. Day
by day they went out seeking work, but finding none, willing
to do anything to provide bread for their families, but returning nightly, unsuccessful, to their starving wives and children.
My own resources were gone. I could do nothing. When
we left Castle Garden I think we only had about five dollars
left, while the heavy snow which covered the ground End the
intense cold promised many weeks of unusual severity.
Needing so greatly pity myself, how I sympathised with
those poor sufferers, how I pitied them!
In the midst of all this, the Apostle John Taylor learned
that some of these poor souls had been seen begging. So he
came from his comfortable boarding-house in Brooklyn, well
wrapped up in a handsome overcoat, and scolded these poor,
starving creatures, and harangued them concerning the meanness of begging. With great swelling words he spoke of the
dignity of the Saints of the Most High, and told them that
he despised a Mormon who could fall to the level of a common street beggar.
Could he have heard the, unspoken curses of the poor,
wounded hearts of those who listened to him, as they thought
of his brother "Apostle" in England, and of how he had
deceived them and sent them into a strange country, in the
182 
*\,
~~~~~                                            ~
~   \\       \\ I/[;\\\Y\j\\  \\\              ~~j~
>~~~j\ N
~                                                
MOCKED WITH WORDS.
~         C, SIP so  I     ~ I
I~-  i1
I -    
THE WISDOM OF AN APOSTLE.
depth of winter, to beg, to starve, or to steal, he would have
learned that though the victim of a delusive faith may men tally submit to man-made creeds and priesthoods, in his heart
he will judge, not so much the words he hears as the man
who utters them,
The wisdom of the Apostle found out a remedy. He
"counselled" the men and boys to buy shovels, and go forth
into the streets and clean away the snow from the fronts of
the doors and from the side-walks, and told them that they
would thus get plenty of money to keep them until winter
was over. One elderly brother, who had a little money left,
bought a stock of shovels; but the emigrants found that
there were plenty of others who were as eager as they for
work, and who were much better acquainted with the way of
obtaining it. The shovel experiment was a failure, and the
poor old brother lost his money in the investment.
For whatever the Apostle Taylor may have contributed to
these unfortunate persons-whether in "counsel," money, or
provisions-he will doubtless have his reward; and, for aught
I know, he may have been unable to give anything more than
counsel; but, at the same time, my opinion of the value of
counsel remains unchanged. There has been no lack of
"counsel" or counsellors in the Mormon Church.  "Counsel"
has been given in abundance to all, and by no means always for
the benefit of those who received it. It was not, however,
because he failed to assist them practically that the people
hated the Apostle Taylor, and have hated him ever since, but
it was for his pride and arrogance, and the way in which he
dared to talk to free-born Englishmen and Englishwomen
about the dignity of the Priesthood, and the contempt in
which he held them in the hour of their humiliation and distress-for that they hated him.
I do not, of course, wish to justify the people in begging;
such conduct would have been despicable if they could have
found employment of any sort. But when I saw the starving condition of those men and their helpless families, in that
wretched school-house, in my heart I almost honored them for
I2
I85 
IN THE NEW WORLD.
having the courage to beg; and I thanked God that the
"mean Yankee Gentiles "- as the Elders taught the Saints
to call American citizens who did not believe in Mormonism
-were able and willing to assist them.
One of those emigrants very recently related to me some
of the painful circumstances through which he passed at that
time. He told me that he walked the streets of Williamsburgh for three days and three nights without a mouthful of
anything to eat, or a place to lay his head; —he could obtain
no work, and at length, in sheer desperation, he was forced to
beg.  The Church authorities knew well the misery of the
people, but took no adequate steps to alleviate it.
During the first weeks after our arrival in New York city
we had nothing to depend upon but the provisions which we
had saved from the ship's rations. I had known what it was
to be in a foreign country without money and without food;
and on board ship I took care of our rations when they were
not consumed by Harry or "the rats;" for I thought that if I
did not need them-which, indeed, I sincerely hoped might
be the case-I could certainly find some one who would be
thankful for them. These rations consisted chiefly of sugar
that was almost black; very bad black tea, which when made
looked like dye; the poorest kind of sea-biscuit; and other
things accordingly. The provisions for the Mormon emigrants were purchased in bulk by the Church authorities, who
made their own profits out of them, and the Apostle at Liverpool had the benefit of all that could be saved out of them
during the voyage. It was commonly said among the people
that the sight of them alone was quite sufficient for any one
who was not half-starved; and yet they had paid the price of
the best.
We had been in New York several weeks when one day my
husband called at the office of a paper called The Mormon,
and there met with the Apostle Taylor who conducted that
paper. The Apostle expressed great regret that Mr. Stenhouse should be without occupation at that season of the year,
and with a family of children upon his hands. This sympathy
I86 
APOSTOLIC LIBERALITY.
coming from a brother Missionary was, I thought, very tardy,
for my husband had then devoted over ten years of his life to
the cause, and his record in the Church had been untarnished.
The Apostle was living in an elegant house surrounded by
every comfort and luxury, while he knew that we had not so
much as a chair, or even a bed to lie upon. What had he
done for the Church more than my husband had done? In deed, I firmly believe that he had not endured half as much,
but-he was an Apostle! His unhelping sympathy appeared
to me a little more than questionable.
He told my husband that he might come into the office of
Thze Mormon, and write the addresses on the wrappers, and
that he would give him a few dollars a week "to help things
along," until something better presented itself. My husband
thought this a disinterested action on the part of the Apostle
John Taylor, but my experience in Mormonism led me to be
distrustful and suspicious of everything that an Elder or
Apostle said or did. This offer, however, came when we
really had nothing to look to, and dared not refuse any assistance that was offered, however small it might be.  But I must
allow that my ideas of Apostolic liberality were very muah
shocked when at the end of the week Mr. Stenhouse informed
me that he had been allowed four dollars for his services, and
that out of that magnificent sum the Apostle John Taylor had
deducted twenty-five cents which sheer necessity had compelled him to borrow for the week's ferriage. 
The Apostle-editor had two assistants from Utah with him
in the " Mor'noz" office-the one a "Seventy," and the other
a "High-Priest "-terms and titles which I shall presently explain. A few weeks after my husband entered the office, the
"Seventy" who had charge of getting out the paper was allowed to return to Zion. The High-Priest remained in the
Eastern States visiting alternately the various branches of the
Church, and doing some very zealous courting with a young
English girl who lived in Williamsburgh, while his two unsuspecting wives at home in Salt Lake City were earnestly praying the Lord to bless him in his "mission."
s87 
"TROUBLED WITH HEART-DISEASE."
Whatever the Apostle may have thought of his associate,
he could not very well remonstrate with him, for he himself
was, and had been for some time, doing a good deal in that
line with an amiable Connecticut girl, and was only waiting
for special permission from Brigham Young, to add her to the
half-dozen wives he already had in Utah.
There was, moreover, another High-Priest attached to that
office, but no one seemed to understand his exact position. To
all appearance his principal occupation was travelling from New
York to Connecticut and from Connecticut back again to New
York. He was a very robust-looking man, but it was reported
that he was troubled with heart-disease, and that the purer air
of Connecticut was a great relief to him. This I fully believed
when, some time after, I discovered that the young lady engaged to the Apostle had a charming sister, for I thought it
very probable that she rendered no small assistance to the
Connecticut air in giving relief to his diseased heart.
My husband not being at that particular time under the influence of "heart-disease," soon became very useful on the
editorial staff. In fact, pretty well everything was left to him,
and not unfrequently for two or three days he saw nothing of
the Apostle or either of his associates, and the whole responsibility of getting out the paper-at the magnificent salary of
four dollars a week! —rested upon him.  He was told that he
must regard it as a mission and be prepared to act accordingly.
In course of time, however, the visits to Connecticut came
to an end. The Apostle obtained Brother Brigham's permission to practice a little Polygamy among the Gentiles, and
Miss Young made him an excellent housekeeper in a handsomely furnished house in Brooklyn. The poor High-Priest
and the Seventy did not fare so well: they were expected to
wait until they reached Zion. The two young ladies to whom
they were engaged were amiable and good girls who would
without doubt have met with excellent husbands either in or
out of the Church; but the name of an Apostle or HighPriest-when the men themselves were away from home-,
I88 
"THE HAPPIEST OF THE THREE.
carried with it many charms, and won the hearts of the young
ladies and their friends. The Apostle was, of course, well
used to the training of wives in the "celestial order," and
when he returned home with his youngest bride he suffered
no particular inconvenience. But the High-Priests realised
the truth of the adage "the course of true love never did
run smooth." The first wife of one of them refused to have
anything to do with his new bride, and kept him at a respectful distance from herself then and ever afterwards; while the
first wife of the other declined to acknowledge the claims of
her youthful rival. The first High-Priest has gone to heaven;
the other, in the course of time, gave a bill of divorce to his
young wife. What happiness either of these three girls found
in Polygamy, they best know, but the young widow appears
decidedly the happiest of the three.
I had heard so much while in London about men taking
'wives "from principle" and that, after the first wife, they
made no open display of their love, but I could not see that
they differed in the slightest from their Gentile brethren in
that respect; the Utah Elders, of whom I have spoken, always seemed to me very human.  In all Polygamic courtships
that I have since witnessed, the brethren have appeared to
think that the "Lord's" revelation was a trifle too slow in arranging affairs of the heart, and they have very zealously prepared for its coming. In some instances the revelation has
come too late, and in many others it would have been very disastrous if it had not come at all. In all cases it may be safely
asserted that all that has been said about getting the consent
of the first wife and obtaining a revelation from the Lord as
to whether it is pleasing in His sight for a man to take another wife, or not-is purely folly and nonsense. Brigham
Young is the only "lord" who has ever been consulted on
that question. If he acknowledged this to the people and
they chose to abide by it, they alone wduld be to blame; but
it is the grossest of frauds for men claiming to be the representatives of Jesus Christ to play upon the credulity of an
honest people, trifling with the most sacred subjects, and tell
I89 
TRUE SOURCE OF MODERN REVELATIONS.
ing them that God answers by special revelation and declares
whether or not it is His will that each of these plural marriages should take place. The Apostles and Elders themselves are not deceived. They know well enough that there is
no truth in all this mockery; they know that the only
source of all their revelations is the man Brigham Young.
I9o 
CHAPTER XIV.
SAINTLY PILGRIMS ON THE WAY-THE "DIVINE" HAND                       CART SCHEME.
The Eastern Saints-Service in Williamsburgh-" The "Prophet of the Lord"
Tries an Experiment-The Pilgrims Cross the Plains-The  Hand-Cart
Scheme-The Poor Emigrants-A "Divine" Plan-The Great Gathering to
Zion-An Interesting Letter from Mary Burton-How Elder Shrewsbury Won
his Bride-A Solemn Oath Against Polygamy-Mary Burton's Marriage Arrival of the Hand-Cart Emigrants-Scene at Castle Gardens-Meeting with
Mary Burton and her Husband-The Story of her Courtship-Her Trustful
Enthusiasm-Proposing to make Brigham Young a Ding!-Anticipations of
War-How the Prophet Defrauded Brother Tenant of Sixty Thousand Dol lars-The Pilgrims Leave for the West-The Story of a Truant Wife-Second
Thoughts are Sometimes Best-The Mormon Paper Comes to Grief-A New
Trial of Faith-Literary Work-Waiting for Permission to Journey Zi ward.
ONE Sunday morning in early spring, I attended a meet ing of the Saints in Williamsburgh.
My husband was there and took part in the service, and so
did the Apostle Taylor, and one or two other Utah Elders.
I went to that meeting in a very desponding state of mind,
for our prospects since the day of our arrival had  not
brightened very much, and I felt the need of some comforting and cheering words.
Whether it was the influence of the clear spring morning,
or that the Elders had noticed the depression of spirit
among the Saints, I cannot tell, but I know that on that
particular occasion their words seemed to me more earnest
and encouraging than they had been for a long time past. 
THE "DIVINE" PLAN.
As we came out from the meeting, Brother Benton, one of
the Elders, stepped up to my husband and said: "Brother
Stenhouse, they are expected to arrive to-night or to-morrow;
I suppose you will be down at the "Gardens" to meet them."
I knew well enough who "they" were who were expected
to arrive, and so did Mr. Stenhouse.  "Yes," he said, "of
course I shall be there, but most likely we shall have to wait
a few days before they come." Then he stopped and talked
over the matter with Elder Benton.
Now it chanced that at that time Brigham Young was trying an experiment.  The "Prophet of the Lord" sometimes
finds it necessary-notwithstanding the "revelations" which he
is supposed to receive-to try experiments like other men before he can feel sure that his plans are likely to succeed. The
only difference between him and other men is, that he-knowing himself that his plans are his own inventions, or the inventions of the leaders-gives out that they come direct from
God, thereby deceiving the ignorant, innocent, and confiding
people; and when his plans fail, as they often do, he never
confesses that he is wrong or mistaken, but lays all the blame
on some other person, or, failing that, on "the Lord" or the
devil.  Other men, as a rule, say nothing about the "Lord" or
devil, but when their experiments fail, they frankly confess
that they themselves were not inspired, but were liable to err.
That is all the difference.
In the present instance Brigham Young tried an experiment upon a rather large scale.
Up to the year I856,'the Mormon emigrants made the
journey from the Frontiers across the Plains by ox-teams, as
I have already described, and every season some of the
wealthier Mormons formed themselves into an independent
company, paid their own expenses, and travelled with more
comfort. The expense to the poorer emigrants was very
small, for they performed the greater part of the journey on
foot the ox-teams being used for transporting provisions and
baggage-one hundred pounds of the latter being allowed to
each emigrant.
192 
PILGRIMS CROSSING THE PLAINS.
This "plan" was, so far, a success, and the settlements of the
Saints increased thereby slowly but surely, in population and
wealth. There were, however, at that time thousands of
Saints in Europe anxious to emigrate, but who were too poor
to provide the small sum requisite for that purpose. During
the winter of i855, this difficulty was discussed in Conference
by Brigham and the leading men in Salt Lake, and some one
suggested what was afterwards known as the "Hand-Cart
Scheme." The idea of this "scheme" was to transfer the
people from Liverpool to the Frontiers in the cheapest possible way, and for them then to cross the Plains with lightmade hand-carts, just strong enough to carry the fewest possible necessary articles, but sufficiently light for the men,
women, and even young girls, to draw them.
This "plan" would not perhaps have been a bad one if it had
been properly carried out, and if Brigham Young had seen,
as he might have done, that suitable preparations were made
beforehand. But the Hand-Cart Emigration Scheme began
with a lie and ended in ruin.
The confiding Saints were told that "God" had specially inspired His servant Brigham for this purpose, and the scheme
was a revelation direct from on high. No proper measurts
were taken to provide for the emigrants-all was done upon
faith-faith on the part of the people in their-as they sup.
posed -inspired leaders; deception on the part of those lead.
ers towards the people, whose only fault was that they trusted
them too well.
The Miilennial Star proclaimed the "plan" to the Saints in
Europe, and so great was the response to this special summons that in that year-I856-it was roughly estimated that
no fewer than five or six thousand Mormon emigrants
travelled from Liverpool to Salt Lake City. It was the first
company of these emigrants that Brother Benton alluded to
when he told Mr. Stenhouse that "they" were expected that
night or the next; but in those days emigrant vessels were frequently delayed by adverse winds and other circumstances, and
no one could calculate upon the exact time of their arrival in port.
I93 
SHE PROMISED TO BECOME HIS WIFE.
The following morning, my husband when he returned from
the Mormon office, brought with him a letter bearing the English postmark and addressed to me in the neat unmistakeable
handwriting of Mary Burton. I had been waiting and watching for a letter from her ever since our arrival; I was anxious
to hear from her, and I hastily tore it open, so impatient was I
to know how she was getting on. What I read interested me
deeply, though it did not surprise me. I had seen Mary many
times after the interview which I have already related, and
our conversations and discussions were to us of all-absorbing
interest; but as they were mostly personal, I have not cared
to record them in this narrative.  To tell the truth, her love
affairs with Elder Shrewsbury occupied more and more the
most prominent place in all our discussions. His enthusiasm
was perfectly infectious. As long as Mary absolutely refused
to see him, her love for him and her faith in Mormonism were
anything but overpowering. But Elder Shrewsbury was one
of those peculiar persons who have a sort of magnetic charm
about them, who without our knowing it, or even, in some
instances, contrary to our will and reason, enlist all our sympathies and leave behind them an impression that we vainly
try to efface.  He only wanted opportunzity and his "uccesp
was sure.
Opportunity he had had for pressing his suit with Mary and
making an impression upon her heart, ever since the day when
they had met at my door, and had taken that walk together,
as Mary said, for the purpose of discussing important matters.
Now the letter which I received opened to me another
chapter in Mary's life which, without the gift of prophecy, I
might have easily predicated.  Elder Shrewsbury's patience
and perseverance met with their due reward, and Mary at
length promised to become his wife;-but fascinated though
she was, and herself almost as deeply in love as he was, she
nevertheless made one condition which showed that she'had
not entirely lost that prudence and determination which she
had shown in the early days of their courtship. 
A BRIDE'S CORRESPONDENCE.
"When he spoke to me in that way,-you know how, Sister Stenhouse "-she
said in her impulsive way:-" How could I persist in saying NVo to him?"  It
wasn't in my heart to do so.  I didn't say "Yes" ill SO many words, but I simply
said nothing, and he took my silence for consent.  Then           but no, I won't
even tell you everything.,..........       I know he thought
he was going to have it all his own way; but I didn't think so. I told him then
that I had firmly resolved upon one thing-that I never would marry him unless
he made a solemn vow and promise before God that he would never enter into
Polygamy. I could not hide from him that I loved him-he knew it and could
see it; but I said I never would go to Utah alone, and  I certainly never would
marry at the risk of my husband taking another wife. No; I was willing to
give him my heart, my all-it was only fair for him to do the same by me...
He was very near me then; and my hand was in his; and he was looking
up into my eyes. Then he whispered the promise I had asked of him, and, dear
Sister Stenhouse, I know I can depend upon his word. We shall be happier in
this world by ourselves, and we feel quite sure that God will not ask us to do
anything in heaven that would make us miserable.  Perhaps I oughtn't to say
this, but I'm so happy that I cannot allow myself one single wretched doubt
about the future or may husband, such as I used to have.... 
We were married on the 27th of January.
"And now we are getting ready for Zion, and are busy day and night., Of
course you have heard of the "Divine Plan "-the Hand-Cart Scheme. Oh,
Sister Stenhouse, I amn so very, very much ashamed of myself for all the wicked
things that I used to say about the Apostles and the Elders. Since our marriage, Elder Shrewsbury has explained everything to me and set things in their
right light.  It is a glorious privilege for us to be permitted to gather to Zion
,and now that I know my dear husband will never even think of another besides
myself, I glory in the thought of leaving the Gentile world and all itp
wickedness.
*   *   *   *    *           *          *          *          *.          *. I  I8                       ~       
We go with the first company this season.
I will tell you all the rest of the news -when I meet you, dear"
So Mary Burton was married, and coming with the Hands
Cart Company. " Why," I said, turning to my husband" they'll
be here in a day or two now."
"Perhaps to-day," he replied.
They did not, however, arrive either that day or the next;
but towards the end of the week we were told that their vessel was in the river, and I accompanied my husband to Castle
Gardens to see them.
A strange spectacle was presented to our view.  More-than
six hundred Mormon emigrants were gathered there, all on
I95
lb t 
WE MET AT CASTLE GARDENS.
their way to Zion, and burning with zeal and enthusiasm worthy of a better cause. There were aged men and women,
whose heads were hoary with the snows of many a winter, and
whose tottering steps had borne them to the verge of three
score years and ten; there were stout-hearted fathers of
families, and matrons with sons and daughters growing up
around them; there were young men in the pride and strength
of manhood; and maidens in the modest blush of womanly
beauty; and little toddling children, and babes in their mother's
arms-all obedient to what they thought was the command of
God Himself-all with their faces set steadfastly and anxiously
Zionward.
Let not the reader smile at. the blind infatuation of those
poor emigrants. Would he or she have suffered so confidingly- so faithfully-for his or her religion?  They might be
mistaken; but truly theirs was a faith which "hoped all things,
believed all things, endured all things." Surely, in His sightwho judges the heart-the blind obedience of those men and
women who were ready to suffer and to endure unto the
bitter end, because in their child-like faith they thought it was
His holy will-such practical devotion was more trulyacceptable than the formal professions of an untested faith which orthodox professors are so ready to make.
I met at Castle Gardens many whom I had known in the
old country; but it was one particular face which I was anxious to see. A man wrapped in a thick great-coat, and with a
fur cap upon his head, brushed against me; and before I had
time to raise my eyes, my hand was grasped in his, and I heard
Mary's husband say "Oh Sister Stenhouse, I'm so glad to see
you: I knew we should meet you in New York. Come and
see Mary.  She's may Mary now!"
I went with Elder Shrewsbury and I saw Mary. But oh,
how greatly was she changed! When I returned from our
Swiss mission and saw her, after an interval of several years,
I was, of course, struck with the alteration which had then
transformed her from a pretty little fairy-like girl into a decorous young lady contemplating matrimony; but although I had
'i96 
MATRIMONY CHANGED HER.
now been absent from England only a few months, I observed
a much more striking alteration in her than on the previous
occasion. It was not now, I thought, so much an outward and
personal change, as a new development of her inner consciousness-her soul itself. Her form was as graceful, and
her eyes as bright as ever; but from those eyes there now
shone forth another light than that which I had thought so
charming in the by-gone time.
Her affection for me was as warm and demonstrative as
when we first met -She recognised me in a moment, before
her husband had time to say a word; and, throwing both her
arms round me, she kissed me again and again with all the
effusion of her childish days. Taking my hand she led me
gently into a quiet corner and seated me beside her upon a big
trunk, and then she began to talk. It was the same soft
sweet voice again, which used to be so dear to me when I was
left all alone in Southampton, soon after my marriage, while
my husband was on mission in Italy.
She told me all the story of her courtship-all, and much
more than she had told me in her letter. But it was when she
came to speak of her marriage, of her husband, and especially
of their pilgrimage to Utah that I observed more especially
the change which had taken place in her. She was no longer
the light-hearted girl, half-doubting her strange religion, and
rejecting it altogether when it did not coincide with her own
ideas and wishes. No: Elder Shrewsbury-had he been ten
times a Mormon Elder-could not have wished for a more obedient, a more earnest, I might say-a more fanatical believer
than was now to be found in his young and beautiful wife.
Her eyes really glowed with enthusiasm as she spoke of "the
work of the Lord" and of "gathering to Zion;" and her voice,
though soft and sweet as ever, had in it, now and then, a tinge
of sternness which told of a determination and spirit which
the casual observer would never have suspected.
I expressed some surprise that she and her husband, not
being without funds, should have gone with the Hand-Cart
Company when they might have waited and have gone with
I97 
A MATTER OF FAITH.
so much more comfort with one of the independent companies.
" Why, Sister Stenhouse,",she said, "We have done it as a
matter of faith. Certainly we could have afforded to go in
any way we chose, but my husband said we ought to be an
example to the poorer saints; so we gave away nearly all our
money to help the emigration fund, and then we came, just as
you see us, along with the rest."
"But the danger and discomfort is so great," I suggested.
"Surely the Lord does not want us to sacrifice ourselves when
no one is benefitted by it?"
"Not a bit," said she, "there's no danger, Sister Stenhouse,
and if there were it would only please me all the more. As
for discomfort, why we should have had that any way, and we
both glory in making sacrifices. Besides which, we have been
told by the Apostle that this will be the most pleasant and
successful journey across the plains that has ever been
made."
"I am a little doubtful of the promises of Apostles and
Elders," I said, "and I remember, Mary, when you used to
agree with me."
"I know I did," she answered, "but Brother Shrewsbury
has shown me how wrong I was I never doubt now. But I
think you have a wrong notion about this hand-cart scheme.
It is not an ordinary plan such as any man might have made.
God Himself revealed this plan to Brigham, and in fact we
zall it'the divine plan' in our songs. Oh, you should hear
our songs! They're a little rough, but the singing is so
earnest and the voices of the men and girls blend so well
together that I know you'd like them. There's only one
thing that I don't like about this plan, and that I daresay is
all right if only I knew it."
"I think, Mary," I said, "I could tell you a good deal that
you wouldn't like if you knew it."
No, dear," she replied hastily, as if afraid to hear me,
'don't tell me unpleasant matters.  I'll tell you all I meant.
The Prophet and Heber C. Kimball, and Jedediah Grant
I98 
BRIGHAM YOUNG PROPOSED AS KING!
counselled the richer emigrants to give as much as they could
-all their property, if they had faith enough-to help the
poor brethren to emigrate; but the American Elders had
private instructions-so Brother Shrewsbury told me-to use
the money to help out all the unmarried girls who are willing
to go. I confess that this troubled me not a little; but my
husband says that when we get to Zion we shall find all will
be right, and of course I believe him."
Mary's conversation puzzled me a good deal at the time.
She had formerly been so clear-sighted and so unbiassed by
prejudice, and now she seemed ready to believe anything.
All her husband's enthusiasm was now her own; she saw
with his eyes, and in the intensity of her love for him she
believed all that he accepted as true.  Long after, when I
thought of that short interview, I called to mind her impulsive
earnestness, and I felt that a secret misgiving, unconsciously
to herself, was partly the cause of it. Unknown to herself
her excess of zeal was the offspring of doubt.
Life in the future was in anticipation to my poor friend one
long day of hope and happiness. She could not see the
shadow of a cloud-no coming sorrow darkened her way.
Zion, to her excited imagination, was the abode of peace. ant
sanctity, and unchanging joy.
I asked her whether the Saints in England had heard any
of those strange reports about Brigham Young defying the
Government, which had attracted so much attention in this
country.
"Certainly," she said, "it is because the day is so very
near when all intercourse between God's people and the
Gentile world shall be cut off for ever that these great efforts
are being made to gather the Saints to Zion.  Of course you
know this, but I don't think you know all. Why, at the last
general conference in Liverpool, the president had instructions from Salt Lake to propose Brigham Young as'prophet,
seer, revelator, and King!"'
" King?"  I said, "How  can President Young ever be
'king?' Utah is part of the territory of the States, and
I99 
200   - HOW BROTHER TENANT LOST HIS MONEY.
under their jurisdiction; it is not even a State itself yet, and
Congress has refused to sanction the name of Deseret. This
country will never suffer a kingdom to be set up in Utah;
you must be misinformed, Sister Mary."
"No, Sister Stenhouse," she exclaimed, "I am under no
mistake. My husband assured me that the conference
accepted the proposition, and that it was received unanimously.
The Saints are gathering in from all parts of the world, and
when war is declared they will not be found unprepared.
Why, here on board with us, the American Elders are all
provided with swords and revolvers of the very best make
that could be got for love or money, and I myself have heard
them say that Brigham Young intends shortly to declare his
independence of the United States. We didn't know this
before we left England, but we felt sure that he had some
great purpose in view which had been revealed to him."
"Before we left," I said, "the Saints were all eager to
emigrate."
"Yes, dear," she answered, "but nothing like they are now.
You have no idea how excited and anxious everybody is.
Some of the people, in order to obey counsel, sold their
watches and jewelry, and even their best clothes, scarcely
keeping enough for the journey, and every one who had any
money gave it away. Brigham Young set a noble example in
that; even the Gentiles would admire him if they knew alL
Why, we had on board ship with us Brother Tenant, the rich,
new convert who paid thirty thousand dollars for the property
which Brigham Young so generously gave to help the Emigration Fund. He hardly had enough left to carry him and
his family to Zion; and now he is going to cross the Plains
with us, to settle in Salt Lake City. He is somewhere here
among the emigrants, I believe, at the present moment, and
you could ask him all about it if you liked. The brethren
assure him that Brother Brigham is so liberal that he will get
vastly more than the value of his thirty thousand dollars when
he reaches Zion, and I hope he will, for I like both him and
his wife." 
PARTING WITH AN OLD FRIEND.
All this was thus far true, but it was with some misgivings
that I heard Mary talk about it. Still I tried to persuade
myself that it was a sin to doubt. How little did either of us
imagine that after poor Mr. Tenant's miserable death upon
the Plains we should live to see his wife-destitute and
defrauded of her property by generous-hearted Brighamdragging out a miserable existence in Zion, and dependent
even for a crust of bread upon the kindness of the brethren.
And yet, as I previously stated in another place, this was
how the Prophet, under the mask of liberality, contrived, for
his own purposes, to cheat this unfortunate and too-confiding
Saint.
Then we talked of what more nearly interested ourselves,
and Mary asked me when Mr. Stenhouse and myself were
coming out. I told her that it was quite uncertain, but that
we expected to before long.  "At any rate you will come out
before the season is over," she said.
"Most likely so," I replied, "but you will be safely there
and settled before we arrive."
How little did she imagine the fearful scenes she was to
witness-the terrible sufferings she was to endure before th,
season she spoke of had passed away. Could I at that time
have known all, I would have prayed that sooner than set out
on that fearful journey she might find refuge in the grave
from the horrors which, unknown to her, were brooding over
her way.
We  talked long, and then my husband joined us-Elder
Shrewsbury was called away by some necessary duty-and
when we parted it was with many promises to write frequently
to each other of our common religious interests, as well as the
welfare of ourselves and those we loved. Then I spoke with
several other old friends, and we exchanged greetings with all
sorts of people, for my husband wherever he goes is always
sure to be upon speaking terms with almost everybody he
meets.
The Hand-Cart Company left New York for Utah-a long
and formidable journey at best-but in that instance, through
I3
201 
THE HAND-CART EMIGRATION.
mismanagement and neglect, one of the most fatal expeditions
that imprudent man has ever undertaken; and it was not
until months and months had passed away, and another
season had come round that we heard anything of their fate.
And time went on, but my troubles did not lighten. My
husband still continued to work at the Moriinon office, and
after a while his salary was slightly increased from time to
time; but still his earnings were altogether inadequate for the
support of a family, and I found it absolutely necessary to
obtain some employment for myself. It cost me many a long
and weary day of search and enquiry, and many a battle with
my pride before I could get anything to do, but at last I was
successful, and although my little ones required constant
attention, I contrived to add a very decent quota to the
scanty family purse.
And thus matters continued until the following year-our
life of uncertainty and care unchanged. Little in my life at
that time is worth recording: to me it was one long, painful
struggle, and any change which could come, I felt must be
for the better. My experience of Mormonism was of course
enlarged as new facts presented themselves to my observation,
and by nothing was my faith so much shaken as by The discrepancies between the written and spoken Mormonism which
was presented with fair face to the European Saints and the
world at large, and the actual conduct of the Elders.
From the first moment when Polygamy was announced,
the leaders had strictly forbidden the missionaries to enter
into any alliances with the sisters abroad, or to make any
proposals of marriage to them, or to enter into any matrimonial covenants.  In the language of Heber C. KimballBrigham's first counsellor-they were "not to pick out from
the flock the young, fair, and tender lambs," but were to
bring them all safely home to Zion.
This counsel was all very well, for it tended to keep the
Elders out of mischief, and afforded an opportunity to the
brethren at home to select more, and more youthful wives
from the fair converts who were gathered in to Zion. But
202 
A RUNAWAY  WIFE.,
the missionaries found it very irksome to obey this counsel,
and in point of fact, those who did so formed a very small
minority.
One of the Missionaries who had just returned from Europe
came one day to our house in New York, and brought a
youthful sister with him. He was by no means a handsome
man or prepossessing in his appearance, but I saw at once
that he had succeeded in obtaining considerable influence
over the young sister's mind. He said she was not very
happy, and he wanted her to stay with some respectable
family for a week or two until they set out for Utah, and I
agreed that she should stay with us.
She began to play with the children, and took one of them
in her arms in a way which attracted my attention, for I
noticed that tears were in her eyes, and she excited my sympathy. I asked her as gently and as delicately as I could
what was the matter with her, and what her sorrow was, and
she told me that she herself had two little ones at home and
was wretched at being parted from them. She had obeyed
counsel, and had left her husband and a happy home to go to
Zion. She loved them all dearly, but deluded by false teachings, and promises that she should soon have her childrtn
again, she had stolen away and left them all.
I reasoned with her, tried to make her see how wrongly
she had acted, and persuaded her to return to her husband
and seek his forgiveness. No; it was all in vain. The salvation of her soul she thought was beyond all earthly considerations; she must stifle the suggestions of her heart
within her; she must hasten to Zion. Thus she left me, and
like many another victim, I never expected to see her again.
One morning, a few months later, I was astonished to
receive a visit from her.  After expressing my pleasure at
seeing her once more, she told me that what I said had so
impressed her that when the emigrants had arrived at St.
Louis she had refused to proceed any further on the journey,
had written to her husband, had made all right with him, and
was now on her way back to her home in England.
03 
THE "MORMON" DISCONTINUED.
My story is so full of painful reminiscences, that it is with
pleasure that I record this incident-one of the rare cases
in which folly was not succeeded by utter ruin and misery.
Alas, how many instances I might mention, which fell
beneath my own personal observation, of wives and mothers
led away by the delusive doctrines which they mistook for
inspiration, and who sought vainly, through years of misery,
for peace and rest, until at length they found it in the darkness of the tomb.
Towards the end of the year I857, the difficulties in Utah,
and a financial panic in New York, resulted in the discontinuance of the Mormnon.  My husband was thus thrown out
of employment, and to add to our difficulties, the people for
whom I worked suspended operations. This new trial of our
faith, however, was not long; out of apparent evil, good came.
Released from his obligations to the Apostle and the Mormon
paper, my husband now set earnestly to work to obtain a
living without the crippling influences of "counsel" or the
dictates of those whom his religion taught him to respect.
I had always believed that if suffered to act for himself, his
energy was such that he would certainly carve his way to a
respectable position in the world. In this I was not dceived,
either at the time of which I speak or at a later period when
in Salt Lake City he engaged in active business on his own
account.                         In New York, where he had been, by this time, appointed President of the Eastern Mission, and was actively
engaged in advocating the claims of the Mormon Church, he
s o         u g h t    and found employment on the staff    of the Herald, and
in connection with other daily papers; and such was his suc                                                   Q
cess, that from a condition of misery and poverty we were very
soon raised to a position of comfort, and surrounded by every
luxury suitable to our station in life; and this position we enjoyed until called upon to leave all and journey across the
Plains to Zion.
Our own journey to Zion was postponed for a while; but
not long before we set forth, I received the long-expected
letter which Mary Burton had promised me; and as it con,
204 
A TERRIBLE STORY.
tains a vivid picture of a mode of transit-the only mode
which could then be used-across the Plains; and shows what
people were forced to endure so recently as a few short years
ago, I shall give extracts from it in the following chapter; for
I feel sure that if the reader did not peruse the story in the
exact words of my unfortunate friend, he never would believe
that in this country and in our own times such a terrible tragedy could have been enacted
0
205
IV 
CHAPTER XV.
A TERRIBLE STORY:-THE HAND-CART EMIGRANTS CROSSING
THE PLAINS.
The Hand-Cart Emigration-Mary Burton's Story-Crossing the Plains-The
Camp at Iowa City-Shameful Neglect of the Church Authorities-Making
the Hand-Carts-The Outfit of the Emigrants-On the Way-" A Day's
March Nearer Home "-Stout-hearted Pilgrims-Travelling through Iowa Showing Kindness to the Emigrants-Need of Help and Sympathy-Perils
and Privations of the Journey-How they Suffered Hunger, and Fainted by
the Way-Very Scanty Rations-Distress of the Women and Children: the
Weak and the Sickly-How the Church "took Care" of the Emigrants' Money
-Suffering from the Heat-Arriving at Florence, near Omaha-How a Mass meeting was Held-Taking Counsel-A Rash and Foolish Decision-Offer ing to Swallow a Snow-Storm-Brave'Advice of Elder Levi Savage —" Weak
in the Faith "-How they Continued their fatal Pilgrimage-The Camp at
Eventide-False and Dangerous Security-The Carts Break down-The
Cattle Stampede-On Short Allowance-Visitors of Importance Arrive Delusive Prophecy of the Apostles-How they took the Bread of the Starving
-Selfish Conduct of Saintly Leaders-Promises of Help.
I PROMISED to write and tell you all about our journey
across the Plains, but I little expected to have such a
terrible tale to tell.
"You have heard so much of the journey to Salt Lake Valley that you know pretty well how we must have travelled to
Iowa City where it was necessary that we should wait until
the whole company was quite ready for the long journey which
lay before us.
"Our life up to a certain point was much the same, and we
met with the same difficulties as all other emigrants who had
gone before us. But there the comparison ends. Privation, 
THE JOURNEY ACROSS THE PLAINS.
and toil, and weariness, and not infrequently sickness and
death, wore out many of the companies that went before us,
but they never suffered as we did. It is utterly impossible
for me to tell you all that we went through. And when I
finish this letter and lay down my pen, and even when you
read the fearful story of my own experience during that journey, you will still have but the faintest idea of the horrors and
sufferings which we endured.
"At Iowa City we found nothing prepared for us.  When
we left Liverpool we were told that hand-carts, provisions, and
all that we needed should be provided before we arrived. If
this had been done we should have had just fairly time
enough to travel over the Plains and reach Salt Lake before
the terrible cold of winter set in. As it was, everything went
wrong. The Elders who had been sent out before us to buy
tents and carts and all that we wanted, had either been
unfortunate or very careless, for, as I said, when we arrived in Iowa City not the slightest preparation had been
made.
"You know how strong my faith was when we left New
York and how Brother Shrewsbury and myself were ready to
sacrifice everything. I can assure you that we were fuflly
tested, and I do think. that but for.our strong faith, not a
single soul of all that company would have survived that
journey.
"Three companies had, after a long delay, been sent out
before we reached Iowa City. As it was then early in the
season they completed their journey before the cold of winter
set in. I afterwards heard that Brigham Young and the Elders, when they saw those companies arrive safely in Salt Lake
City, spoke of the scheme as a szuccessful experiinelt. We had
been taught that the scheme came directly from heaven and
was neither speculation nor experiment, and when I heard
that, after all, the Prophet himself spoke of it as a matter
of doubtful issue, I asked myself- Who then can we believe?
"We waited three weeks in Iowa Camp while they were
207 
THE HAND-CART EMIGRANTS.
making the hand-carts. They were very lightly made and
I think not at all suitable for such a long and wearisome journey; and being so hastily put together and most of the wood
unseasoned, they were utterly unfit for the rough work for
which they were constructed. Twenty of these carts-one to
every five-were allowed to every hundred persons, who were
also allowed five good-sized tents, and one Chicago wagon,
with three yoke of oxen to transport the baggage and provisions. We were only allowed seventeen pounds of bedding
and clothing each, which, with cooking utensils, &c., made up
about one hundred pounds to each cart, and that was quite as
much as the cart (itself only sixty pounds in weight) could
carry. You can see, Sister Stenhouse, how difficult it must
have been out of every hundred persons-men, women, and
children-to find twenty who were strong enough to pull even
such frail things as those hand-carts were. The married men
and the young men and boys did the best they could, but they
could do no more, and some of the carts were drawn by young
girls alone.
"The girls and women who had no husbands used to occupy a tent by themselves at night, but in the other tents,
whole families, without respect to age or sex, together with
the young men who assisted them.during the day, used to
find shelter. This you will see at once was exceedingly inconvenient, but we had no choice, and we had been so
long associated and had suffered so much together that
we did not feel it as much as we otherwise must have
done.
"What weary days we spent!  Hour after hour went by,
mile after mile we walked, and never, never seemed to be a
step the further on our way. Sometimes I recalled to mind a
hymn which we used to sing at Sunday School, when I was a
child-an evening hymn in which we returned thanks that we
were
'A day's march nearer home.'
" But day after day went by- wearily, hopelessly-and
208 
PASSING THROUGH IOWA.
when each night came on, and, tired and footsore, we lay
down to rest we seemed no nearer to our home in Zion.
"Do not think, Sister Stenhouse, that we gave way to
despondency.  What we felt, God alone knows; but our poor
weary hearts were full of confiding faith in Him, and  we
placed undoubting confidence in the promises and prophecies
which we had received through His chosen servants. The
young folks were light-hearted and gay, and with all the enthusiasm of youth they pressed on, thinking not of the way
but only of the end; and their example was most encouraging.
"My husband was one of the bravest and truest of all that
band. He drew the cart which we shared with another Elder
and his wife and their grown-up daughter. They were old
people-I mean the Elder and his wife-and the daughter was
an old maid, unpleasant, thin, and sour, and too feeble to do
anything. There were reasons why I was excused from taking any share in hard work; but I felt as zealous as the
rest, and day after day walked beside my husband thinking
that, if nothing more, my companionship might cheer him.
The old folks walked behind, and so did the children, but
sometimes, when the little ones were very weary indeed, the
parents would place them on the top of the bedding in the
hand-cart and give them a lift. But some of the elderly people who were unused to walking far, and whom it was impossible to carry, suffered a great deal; and sometimes mothers
with children at their breasts would trudge on mile after mile
in all the heat and dust without a murmur or complaint
until they almost dropped down with fatigue. What some of
those poor creatures suffered, no words could tell.
"The sun shone down upon us with intense heat as we travelled through Iowa, and the people from the farm-houses and
villages came out to see us and wondered at our rashness in
undertaking such a journey. They were very kind to us and
came and visited us in our camps and offered some of the men
work and good wages if they would wait there instead of going
on to Zion.  A few of the people accepted these offers, but
209 
210   THE CHURCH "TAKING CARE" OF THE MONEY.
the Elders, as you may suppose, watched carefully every company and every man; and in the evening, when meetings for
prayer and preaching were held, we were earnestly exhorted to
obedience, and the sin of acting upon our own judgments was
set forth in the very plainest terms. The kindness of the
Iowa people, however, encouraged us, and they freely gave
to those who most needed whatever they could to help us on
our way.
"And we needed help and sympathy.
"Of course, with only one wagon to carry all the provisions
for a hundred persons, besides five tents, our supply of food
was very limited. At that period of the journey the grownup people were allowed ten ounces of flour a day and a littleand but a very little-coffee, sugar, rice, and bacon. This
was a very scanty allowance for people who all day long had
to draw the hand-carts or to trudge mile after mile in all that
burning heat and dust-but we never complained. Some of
the men ate all their rations at breakfast, and went without
anything more until the next morning, unless they were able
to beg a little of some friendly farmer by the way. The little
children received just half as much as the others. With a
very small amount of management this inconvenience might
certainly have been avoided, for provisions of all sorts were
very cheap in the districts through which we passed. Some
of the more thoughtful Saints, I know, felt very bitterly the
injustice of this, for, as you are aware, we had paid all our expenses in fuill-even to the uttermost farthing; and we had
been promised in return a safe and sufficient outfit with plenty
of provisions, and in fact all that was necessary. Had we been
left to ourselves we should of course have provided for every
contingency; but we came in obedience to counsel under the
direction of the Church, and after we had paid for everything;
the Church even "took care" of our money, so that we therefore could not procure necessaries by the way, as otherwise
we might have done.
"Thus wearily, and suffering not a little privation,  we
travelled all through Iowa until we came to the  Missouri 
A THOUSAND MILES ON FOOT.
river and encamped at Florence, a place about six miles north
of Omaha, and there we remained about a week preparing for
our journey across the Plains.
"It was the middle of August when we arrived at Florence,
and we had been delayed so much on the way that it appeared
to many of the more experienced that it would now be the
height of imprudence for us to cross the Plains at that season.
With old people, delicate women, and little children, and without carriages of any sort-except the frail hand-carts that carried our bedding-it would be a weary long time, before we
could reach Salt Lake. Every step must be trudged on foot,
and it was quite impossible that we could walk many miles a
day, while there was before us a journey of over a thousand. Some of the Elders proposed that we should settle
where we were, or somewhere near by until the following
spring, and then go on to Zion; but others who were more
confident urged that we should proceed at once. The Elders
called a great meeting to settle the matter, at which we were
all present.
"I should tell you that when we first started, our whole
company was placed under the guidance of Elder James G.
Willie as captain; and we were again sub-divided into five
parties of about one hundred each, and over every hundred
was placed an Elder or sub-captain. The first hundred was
headed by Elder Atwood, the second by Levi Savage, the
third by William Woodward, the fourth by John Chislett, and
the fifth by Elder Ahmensen. About two hundred of the
people were Scotch and Scandinavians; nearly all the rest
were English. All were assembled at the meeting. You
know, Sister Stenhouse, how meetings were held at home.
Well, it was just the same there. We, of course, had nothing
really to say we had only to obey counsel and sanction the
decision of the leading Elders. I used to feel annoyed rather
at that sort of thing in London, as you may remember, but
now when life and death depended upon the wisdom of our
decision, with all my faith, I felt worse than annoyed, wicked
as I have no doubt it was for me to feel so. My husband
2II 
PRUDENT COUNSEL REJECTED.
never uttered a word, but I know he felt much as I did, and
in that he was not alone among the Elders.
"We had neither vote nor influence-the elders held our
destiny in their hands. In all our company there were only
three or four men who had been out to Salt Lake before, and
of course they could not be overlooked, so they gave their
opinion at the meeting. They must have fully known the
dangers and difficulties of the way, and what hardships muzst
overtake a company so scantily provided for as was ours, if
we continued our journey. But, for all that, they not only
spoke slightingly of the danger which threatened us, but
prophesied in the name of the Lord, that we should pass
through triumphantly and suffer neither loss nor harm.
"One man alone-Levi Savage-dared to tell the truth.
People well-mounted, or even with good ox-teams, could safely
and easily make the journey, he said, but for a band of people like ourselves, with aged folks, and women, and little
children, to attempt it so late was little short of madness.
He strongly urged that we should take up our quarters there
for the Winter, when, he said, as soon as Spring came on, we
could safely and successfully perform the remainder of our
journey.
"The other Elders thought that he was weak in the faith,
and plainly told him so; and one of them even said he'd eat
all the snow that fell between Florence and Salt Lake City.
The people, of course, believed without question what they
were told to believe, for they had long ago made up their
minds that the leaders were inspired, and therefore they dared
not doubt them, and the prudent counsel of Brother Savage
was rejected accordingly. I was not near enough to hear his
words, but I was afterward told that he said:'What I have
said, I know is the truth; but as you are counseled to go forward, I will go with you; I will work, and rest, and suffer
with you, and, if God wills it so, I will also die with you.'
Never was man more faithful to his word than was Brother
Savage, and often after that, when sickness, and weariness,
and cold, and hunger, and death, overtook us-as he had fore
2I2 
0 
"GATHERING TO ZION "-LIFE BY THE WAY. 
ACROSS THE PLAINS.
seen-he never for one moment forgot the promise which he
had so solemnly made.
"Then-the middle of August being passed-, we left Florence behind us, and began our weary journey across the
Plains in much the same fashion as we had already travelled
through Iowa. We had, however, taken in fresh provisions
to last us until we reached Utah, and as the oxen could not
draw so much extra weight, one sack, weighing about a hundred pounds, was placed on each of the hand-carts, in addition to the other baggage. This was a severe task upon the
endurance of the people, but most of them bore it without a
murmur. On the other hand, we fared a little better in the
matter of provisions, for we were allowed a pound of flour a
day each, and also, occasionally, a little fresh beef, and, besides
that, each hundred had three or four milch cows. As we
continued our journey, and the provisions were consumed, the
burdens on the carts, of course, grew lighter.
"But this was only the beginning of our pilgrimage:-the
end we could not foresee. Every evening, when we pitched
our tents, we endeavored by songs, and jests, and interesting
stories, to beguile the tediousness of the way. The days were
not quite so warm now, and the nights were more chilly; bu't
altogether it was much more pleasant travelling than it was
in the earlier part of the journey, and no one seemed to
remember the almost prophetic remonstrance of Brother
Savage.
"Still we travelled very slowly, for the carts were always
breaking down; the wheels came off, and we had nothing to
grease them with. The boxes of the wheels were made of
unseasoned wood, and the heavy pressure upon them, and the
dust that got into them, soon wore them out. Some of the
people cut off the tops of their boots and wrapped them
round the axles, and others cut up their tin plates and kettles
for the same purpose, and for grease they used soap, and even
their pitiful allowance of bacon. But as the days passed, and
the flour began to be used up, these accidents became less
frequent.
2I5 
VISITORS TO THE CAMP.
"Upon an average, they said, we travelled about fifteen
miles a day, which I think was very good. Some few days we
even made a little over twenty miles, but they were balanced
by the shortcomings.  We  tried to feel happy and hopeful,
and even the aged and infirm tried to make light of their
toil and privations, for we did not yet see that heavy cloud
which was looming across our way. I frequently talked with
the old and weakly among the people, to whom both my husband and myself were able to offer little kindnesses, and they
all spoke cheerfully of our prospects. Such faith had they in
the promises of the Elders.
"Just before we reached Wood river, vast herds of buffaloes appeared in our vicinity, and one evening all our cattle
stampeded, and the men had to go in search of them. About
thirty were lost, and after hunting after them for three days,
we gave them up. We had only one yoke of oxen now for
each wagon, and as the wagons were loaded each with three
thousand pounds of flour, the teams could not move them.
So they yoked up the beef-cattle, and cows, and heifers, but
they were unmanageable-and at last we were obliged again
to place a sack of flour upon each hand-cart.
"This sorely tried us all.  Some of the people evn  complained, but the greater part of us bore up bravely, believing
that it was the will of the Lord. We still had faith that all
would yet be well. This was, however, a hard blow. Our
milch cows were useless to us, our beef-rations were stopped,
and the burdens which we drew were doubled. Every one
did his or her best, but many of us began to be disheartened,
and could hardly get along.
"One evening there was quite a commotion in the camp.
We had pitched our tents for the night on the banks of the
Platte River, I think, when suddenly quite a grand turn-out of
carriages and light wagons came up from the east and joined
us. Each carriage was drawn by four horses, and the outfits
were in first-class style. Nothing could be too good for
Apostles and other "distinguished" servants of the Lord.   I
was anxious to know who they were, but was  not long in
2i6 
' THE PROPHETS PROPHESY FALSELY."
finding out. There was the Apostle Franklin Richards, and
Elders Webb and Felt, and Joseph A. Young, the son of the
Prophet, and Elders Dunbar, and Kimball, and Grant-all
returning Missionaries. They stayed with us all night, and
in the morning called a great meeting, and the Apostle Richards delivered a speech, which troubled me not a little, and
made me very sorrowful.
"He had heard of what Brother Savage had said, and then
and there, before us all, he rebuked him. He then exhorted
us to remember the hope set before us, and told us to pray
and work on, and especially to be obedient to counsel; and he
finished by solemnly prophesying, in the name of the God of
Israel, that the Almighty would make a way for us to Zion,
and that though the snow might fall and the storm rage on
the right hand and on the left, not a hair of our heads should
perish.
"Some of the people wept with joy as they heard these
words. My own heart was full. To me, this was the voice
of inspiration-the voice of God-how could I doubt again?
"Sister Stenhouse; before a month was over, I saw with
my own eyes that prophecy, those promises, falsified to the
very letter; and yet at the time they came to me and to all
else as the word of the Lord from heaven. Tell me, if men
can thus deceive themselves-for I do not doubt for a moment
that the Apostle believed his own prophecy- and if we could
be so sadly deluded as to believe that what was said was
divine, what surety have we for our religion at all? I strive
against these sinful doubts, but they will sometimes creep
into my heart unbidden.
"The Apostle and the Elders with him told Captain Willie
that they wanted some fresh meat, and the Elders killed and
gave them of our very best. What could be denied to the
Servants of the Lord? We were then more than four
hundred in number-aged men and feeble women, with babes
and poor little children too young to walk; many of them
infirm and sick, all of them footsore and weary. We were far
away from home, travelling slowly hundreds and hundreds of
2I7 
LEFT ALONE.
miles, worn out and without sufficient provisions for the way
or the remotest chance of obtaining any: And yet, Oh God!
I shame to tell it; these servants of Heaven-our leaders, our
guides, our example-these chosen vessels who came to us,
riding comfortably and at ease in their well-appointed carriages, took of our poverty-took the very best we had!
"As they left the camp, I looked up into my husband's
face and our eyes met. We said not a word, but in our hearts
there was the same thought. Sister Stenhouse, there must
have been that selfsame thought in the mind of many another
poor soul who watched those Elders depart after they had
lectured us on faith and patience and obedience!
"They crossed the river pleasantly enough, and pointed out
the best fording-place and then they watched us wade through
-the water there being nearly a mile in width, and in some
places two and even three feet in depth-and though many of
the heavy-laden carts were drawn by women and girls, they
never so much as offered to lend us the aid of their handsome
teams. One sister told me that they watched the poor people
crossing, through glasses, as if it were an entertainment, but
I did not see that, and can hardly believe it was true. All
that they did, however, was to promise that when we reached
Laramie we should find provisions and bedding and other
necessaries ready for us, and that they would send help from
Salt Lake Valley to meet us."
2I8 
CHAPTER XVI.
MARY BURTON'S STORY CONTINUED:-TERRIBLE ENDING
OF TIHE HAND-CART SCHEME.
The Pilgrims Arrive at Laramie-Disappointed Hopes-A Message from the
Apostle Richards-Help Again Promised-Fearful Sufferings and Privations
of the Emigrants-The Frosts of Winter Come On-The Storm-Clouds are
Gathering-Presentiments of Death-The Night-Air of the Wilderness-The
Bitter End-A Wife's Unchanging Devotion-Death in the Camp-Falling
by the Way-A Shocking Incident-Faithful Even in Death-The Good
Deeds of Elder Chislett-How Faith Sustained Them-Lost in the Snow Storm-Brigham Young's Tardy Repentance-" Joseph A." Comes to the
Rescue-In the Grasp of Death-Fearful Position of a Brave Woman-The
Evil Day Comes at Last-A Night of Horrors-Waiting for Assistance-The
Finger of Death-The Cry of the Wolves-A Scene Too Terrible for De scription-Who Died That Night-" God Was Near Me Then "-A Change
for the Better-Three Anxious Days-Light at Eventide-" Help Came Too
Late for Them "-The Victims of Fanaticism-The Remnant that Arrived The Conclusion of a Terrible Story.
I T was early in September when we reached Laramie, but
we found nothing awaiting us there. We were all very
much discouraged at this, and Captain Willie called another
meeting for consultation. We knew, of course, beforehand,
that our position was very bad, but figures when stated plainly
become startling facts. We now learned that if we continued
at the same rate as that which we had previously been travelling, and received each the same allowance daily, we should
be left utterly destitute of provisions when we were yet three
hundred and fifty miles from the end of our journey. Nothing
I4 
THE POST-OFFICE IN THE DESERT.
remained but to reduce our allowance; so, instead of one
pound, we were rationed at three-quarters of a pound a day,
and, at the same time, were forced to make incredible exertions to travel faster.
"Not long after this, Captain Willie received a message
from the Apostle Richards. It is the custom, you know, for
people who want to send messages to emigrants who come
after them, to write a note on a scrap of paper and tie it to a
stone or a piece of wood and leave it on the way. No one
disturbs it, as no one but the emigrants travel along that
road, and they are sure to find it. It was from a rough postoffice like this that Captain Willie got his letter. In it the
Apostle told him that we should receive supplies from Salt
Lake when we reached the South Pass; but that we knew
would be too late.  So our allowance was again reduced, and
after that we were rationed at an average of ten ounces for
every person over ten years of age. The men who drew the
carts received twelve ounces, the women and aged men, nine
ounces, and the children from four to eight ounces according
to age. Before this, the men with families had done better
than the single men, as they had been able to save a little
from the children's rations, and of course they did tot like
this new arrangement so well.
"Picture to yourself these men-in the cool air of September, drawing after them each one a loaded cart, with one or
more children most frequently superadded to its weight,
trudging wearily every day, ten, fifteen, or twenty miles over
the rough desert, wading across streams with the women and
children, setting up tents at night, working as they never
worked before in all their lives, and withal keeping soul and
body together upon twelve ounces of flour a day. This is but
one side of the picture-the physical toil and endurance of
the working men. Think what the feeble and aged, the sick,
the women and children must have endured!
"By this time many of those who had hitherto held out
bravely began to fail, and the people in general were greatly
discouraged.  Captain Willie and the Elders who  assisted
220 
THE PRESENTIMENT OF APPROACHING DEATH.
him did their best to keep up the spirits of the people and to
get them over as much ground as they could each day.  The
captains over the hundreds had also no little work to perform
in distributing provisions, helping the sick and infirm, and, in
fact, superintending everything.
"For some time the nights had been getting colder and
colder, and by the time we arrived at the Sweetwater river
we suffered considerably from that cause; we felt that winter
was fast approaching. In fact, it came on earlier and more
severely last year than at any time before, since the Saints
settled in Utah. Does it not seem strange that at the very
time when they were offering up special prayers for us in
Zion, that we might be defended from cold and storm, the
terrors of a more than ordinary winter overtook us and
proved fatal to so many of our company!  The mountains
were covered with snow, and it was soon quite evident, even
to those who had prophesied most loudly that the Lord would
work a special miracle in our behalf, that the storm-clouds of
winter would soon burst upon us.
" You have never seen the Sweetwater river, so I may as
well tell you that it is a very irregular stream, and we had to
cross it again and again upon our way. As usual we had ~o
wade through the water each time, and though the men
helped over the women and children as well as they could,
many of us got very wet indeed, and quite chilled, and we
were all cold and miserable.  Still, our faith never gave waysome, I know, began to doubt a little, but they had not yet
lost all faith, and discouraged and wretched, as indeed we
were, the greater number bore up with heroic resolution. I
noticed, however, on the faces of some poor souls-men and
women-a peculiar expression which it is quite impossible for
me to describe.  Later on I was led to believe that at that
time they, perhaps unconsciously, felt the presentiment of
that fearful death which so soon overtook them.
"We suffered much at night. You may remember that I
told you we were only allowed seventeen pounds of clothing
and bedding, and that, of course, was of little use. Sleeping
22I 
THE GRAVES BY THE WAY-SIDE.
in a tent, under any circumstances, is not generally pleasant
to those who are accustomed to the shelter of a house, but
sleeping in a tent, exposed to the keen night air of the wilderness, and with scarcely a rag of covering, was almost sufficient to prove fatal to the stoutest and strongest. During
the summer time, although our fare was scanty and our labor
incessant, we rose each morning refreshed and strengthened
and ready for the toils of the day. But now we crept out of
our tents cramped and miserable, half-frozen, and with our
eyes red and tearful with the cold. We seemed to have no
life left in us.
"These things soon began to tell upon the health of every
one of us, especially upon the aged and those who were sickly.
Hope at last died out in their poor weary hearts. One by
one they fell off utterly worn out. Poor things! how they
had longed to see the promised Zion, and now all expectation
of peaceful test on earth was over the bitter end had come.
"We dug graves for them by the wayside in the desert, and
there we laid them with many tears, scarcely daring to look
one another in the face, for we felt that our own time might
perhaps be nearer than we thought.
"One by one at first they fell off, but before lolfg the
deaths became so frequent that it was seldom that we left a
camp-ground without burying one or more. This was, however, only the beginning of evil.
"Soon it was no longer the aged and the sickly who were
taken off, but the young and strong, who under other circumstances would have set disease and death at defiance. Cold,
hunger, and excessive toil brought on dysentery, and when
once attacked by that, there was little hope for the sufferer,
for we had no medicine, and it was quite out of our power to
give them relief in any other way.  I now began to fear for
my husband, for I had noticed for some time an expression of
extreme weariness in his face. Our trials had not hardened
our hearts; on the contrary, I think, as death seemed to be
drawing near, our affection for each other grew more pure and
devoted, and in my heart I often prayed, that if it were His
222 
THE BITTER END.
will, God would let us die together and rest in the same
grave. We never spoke a word to each other on this subject,
but we felt the more. I exerted all my strength, and day
after day toiled along at his side, helping him all I could;
but although he never complained, I saw in his eyes a dull
and heavy look which, more than any words, told of failing
strength and the approach of disease, and my heart sank
within me.
"But my own troubles did not alone engross my attention;
there was too much wretchedness around us to allow anyone
to be absorbed entirely in his own griefs. Acts of devotion
on the part of both parents and children came before me daily
such as would have put to shame the stories of filial and
parental piety which we used to be taught at school.
"I saw one poor man whose health had evidently never
been strong, draw the cart with his two little ones in it, as
well as the baggage, mile after mile; until he could hardly
drag his weary limbs a step further; his wife carried a little
five months old baby in her bosom. This they did day after
day, until disease attacked the husband, and it was evident
that he could bear up no longer. The next morning I saw
him, pale as a corpse, bowed down, and shivering in every
limb, but still stumbling on as best he could. Before the day
was half over, the poor wife lagged behind with her babe, and
the husband did not seem to notice her. This was not the
result of heartlessness on his part; I believe that even then
he had lost all consciousness.  He did not know it, but he
was dying. Still he stumbled on, until the short wintry day
came to a close, and we pitched our camp, and then I missed
him. There was no time to enquire, and a chill came over
my heart as I thought of what might be his fate. Presently
my husband came to the tent and told me all. The poor man
had dragged the cart up to the last moment, and, when the
company halted for the night, he had turned aside, and sitting
down he bowed his head between his knees and never spoke
again. Later still, the poor wife reached the camp, and I saw
her then. There was no tear in her eyes, and she uttered
223 
HEROIC CONDUCT OF ELDER CHISLETT.
neither cry nor moan, but there was upon her features a
terrible expression of fixed despair which I dared not even
look upon.
A few days after this, one morning as we were almost
ready to start, I saw that poor mother in her tent, just as they
had found her. She was cold and still-frozen to deathher sorrows were over at last, and her poor weary spirit was
at rest; but on her bosom, still clasped in her arms, and still
living, was her little child, unconscious of its mother's fate.
"Most of those who died, as far as I could tell, seemed to
pass away quietly and with little pain, as if every feeling of
the heart were numbed and dead. But my own sufferings
and fears at that time were so great that I could not be a very
close observer. Strange as it may seem, the fear of death
did not so much appear to terrify these poor victims as the
thought that their bodies would be buried by the way-side in
the desert, instead of in the sacred ground of Zion.  Poor
souls! the absorbing passion of their life was strong in death.
"As death thinned our ranks, the labors of those who
survived were increased, until at last there were hardly
enough left with strength sufficient to pitch our tints at
night.  A  great deal  devolved  upon the  captain of our
hundred, Elder Chislett. He is a very good man, and a
devoted Saint; and I am glad to say that both he and a lady
to whom he was betrothed, and who was also with our company, escaped with their lives. I have often seen him, when
we stopped for the night, carrying the sick and feeble on his
back from the wagon to the fire, and then working harder
than a slave would work in putting things straight for the
night. He showed a great many kindnesses to my husband
and myself.
"But individual efforts availed nothing against fatigue and
hunger, and the fearful cold. To the minds of all of us, the
end was fast approaching. Nothing but our faith sustained
us; and foolish as many people would think that faith, I am
quite sure, that but for it, no living soul of all our company
would have ever reached Salt Lake.
224 
OVER AT LAST. 
I 
OVERTAKEN BY THE SNOW-STORM.
"At last the storm came, and the snow fell-I think it
must have been at least five or six inches deep within half an
hour. The wind was very keen and cutting, and it drifted
the snow right into our faces; and thus blinded by the storm,
and scarcely able to stand, we stumbled on that day for fully
sixteen miles. What we suffered it would be useless for me
to attempt to describe. The scenes we witnessed were too
terrible to describe.
"There was a young girl, with whom  I was very well
acquainted, and who I saw struggling in the snow, clinging
to one of the hand-carts, and vainly trying to help in pushing
it on, but really doing just the contrary. She is now in Salt
Lake City, and you can see her wandering about any day
upon the stumps of her knees, her limbs downwards having
been frozen during that storm, and subsequently amputated.
A poor old woman, too, who I think you must have known in
London, lingered behind later in the day. When night came
on it was impossible for any one to go back to search for her,
but, in the morning, not very far from the camp, some torn
rags-the remains of her dress-were found, a few bones, a
quantity of hair, and at a little distance a female skull, well
gnawed. and with the marks of the wolf fangs still wet ulpon
it; —the snow all round was crimsoned with blood.
"We halted for a little while in the middle of that day, and
to our surprise and joy, Joseph A. Young and Elder Stephen
Taylor drove into the camp. We found that when the
returning missionaries, of whom I have already told you, left
us by the Platte river, they made their way as speedily as
they could to Salt Lake City. Joseph A., who felt deeply for
outr sufferings, although he had been away from home for two
whole years, hastened to his father and reported to him the
condition in which we were. Brigham Young was of course
anxious to undo the mischief which had resulted from the
people following his inspired counsel, and at his son's earnest
entreaty allowed him to return with provisions and clothing
to meet us. Joseph A. lost no time, but pressed on to the
rescue, and having told us that assistance was on the way,
227 
228 A WIFE'S DEVOTION -THE ONLY CHANCE FOR LIFE.
hastened eastward to meet the company that was following
Us.
"I cannot tell you what a relief this intelligence was to the
minds of all, and how much the poor people felt encouraged
by it. But as for me, at that time my heart was sad enough.
For some time my husband's strength had evidently been
failing, and for the last two days I had felt very serious
apprehensions on his behalf. He had been overtasked, and
like the rest of us he was starving with cold and hunger, and
I saw that he could not hold out much longer. My worst
fears were speedily realised. We had not journeyed half a
mile from the place where we rested at noon, when, blinded
by the snow, and completely broken down, he dropped the
rail of the cart, and I saw that he could go no further. How
I felt, you, as a wife and mother, only can guess. In a
moment my own weakness was forgotten; my love for my
husband made me strong again. To leave him there or to
delay would have been death to one if not all of us. So I
called to those who shared the cart with us, and they helped
me as well as they could to lift my husband up and put
him under part of the bedding. It was the only chance
of saving his life, for, as I before mentioned, some, previous
to this, who had been overcome, and had lingered by the way,
had been frozen to death or devoured by the wolves.
"I then took hold of the cross-bar or handle of the cart,
and numbed with the cold, and trembling in every limb, it
was as much as I could do to raise it from the ground. To
move the cart was impossible, so I appealed to the old folks
again, and they exerted all their strength to push it from
behind, and our combined efforts at length succeeded; but the
chief weight fell upon me. How gladly I bore it; how gladly
I would have borne anything for the mere chance of saving
my dear husband's life, your own heart can tell.
"The snow drifted wildly around us, and beat in our faces
so blindingly that we could hardly proceed. The greater part
of the train had passed on while we delayed on account of my
husband, and now every one was making the most desperate 
WATCHING AT NIGHT:-THE DYING AND THE DEAD.  229
efforts to keep up with the rest; to be left behind was death.
Had I been asked whether under any circumstances I could
have dragged that heavy cart along in all that storm, I should
certainly have replied that it would be utterly impossible;
but until we are tried we do not know what we can bear. It
was not until the night came on, and we pitched our tents,
that I realised what I had passed through.
"They helped me to carry my husband to the tent, and
there we laid him, and I tried to make him as easy as was
possible under the circumstances, but comfort or rest was
altogether out of the question. All that night I sat beside
him,  sometimes watching, sometimes falling into a fitful
sleep. I did not believe that he would live through the
night. In the morning he was by no means improved, and
then I felt too truly the abject misery of our position. It is a
painful thing to watch at the bedside of those we love when
hope for their recovery is gone, but think what it must be to
sit upon the cold earth in a tent, upon the open desert, with
the piercing wind of winter penetrating to the very bones,
and there before you, the dear one-your life, your all on
earth-dying, and you without a drop of medicine, or even a
morsel of the coarsest nourishment, to give him. Oh, the
bitterness of my soul at that moment!  I tried to pray, but
my heart was full of cursing; it seemed to me as if even God
Himself had forgotten us. The fearful misery of that dark
hour has left on my soul itself a record as ineffaceable as the
imprint of a burning iron upon the flesh.
"The morning broke at last, dark and dreary, and a thick
heavy mantle of snow covered all the camp, but we contrived
to communicate with each other, and soon it was whispered
that five poor creatures had been found dead in the tents.
Want, and weariness, and the bitter cold had done their work,
and we did not weep for them-they were at rest; but for
ourselves we wept that we were left behind-and we looked
at one another, wistfully, wondering which of us would be
taken next.
We  buried those five poor frozen corpses in one grave, 
230 THE LAST EXTREMITY:-DESPAIR OF THE EMIGRANTS.
wrapped in the clothing in which they died, and then we comforted each other as best we might, and left the dead who
were now beyond our reach, that we might do what we could
for those who were fast following them to the grave. A
meeting of the leaders was held, and it was resolved that we
should remain where we were until the promised supplies
reached us. We could not, in fact, do otherwise, for the snow
was so deep that it was impossible for us to proceed, and the
sick and dying demanded immediate attention. That morning, for the first time, no flour was distributed-there was
none. All that remained, besides our miserable cattle, was a
small quantity of hard biscuit which Captain Willie bought at
Laramie, and a few pounds of rice and dried apples. Nearly
all the biscuit was at once divided among the whole company,
and the few pounds which remained, together with the rice and
apples, were given to Elder Chislett for the use of the sick
and the very little children. They also killed two of the cattle and divided the beef. Most of the people got through
their miserable allowance that very morning, and then they
had to fast.
"Captain Willie set out that morning with another Elder to
meet the coming supplies and hasten them on, and as we saw
them disappear in the distant west we almost felt as if our last
hope departed with them, so many chances there were that we
should never see them again.
"The whole of that long, long day I sat beside my husband
in the tent-and I might almost say I did no more. There
was nothing that I could do. The little bedding that was allowed for both of us I made up into a couch for him; but
what a wretched make-shift it was! And I got from Elder
Chislett a few of the dried apples which had been reserved for
the sick; but it was not until nightfall that my husband was
capable of swallowing anything-and then, what nourishment
to give to a sick man! The day was freezingly cold, and I
had hardly anything on me, and had eaten nothing since the
day before; for my mind was so agitated that I do not think
the most delicate food would have tempted me. God alone 
"OH GOD, MY GOD, LET ME DIE!"
knows the bitterness of my heart as I sat there during all that
weary day. I never expected to see my husband open his
eyes again, and I thought that when evening came I would
lie down beside him and we would take our last long sleep on
earth together.
"When night came on and all was dark I still saf there; I
dreaded to move lest I should learn the terrible truth-my
husband dead! I looked towards the place where I knew he
was lying, but I could see nothing. I listened, and I fancied
that I heard a gentle breathing-but it was only fancy. Then,
louder than the incessant moaning of the wind, I could hear in
the distance a fearful cry-a cry which had often chilled our
hearts at midnight on the plains-it was the wolves! The
darkness grew darker still-so thick that one could almost
feel it; the horror of death seemed stealing over all my senses.
Oh that there might be one long eternal night to blot out for
ever our miseries and our existence. I threw my hands
wildly above me and cried bitterly:' Oh God, my God, let me
die!"'
"God was nearer to me than I thought. As my hand dropped
lifelessly to the ground it touched some moving thing-it was
my husband's hand-the same hand which I had watched in
the twilight, stiffening, as I thought, in death. The long, thin
fingers grasped my own, and though they were very, very cold,
I felt that life was in them; and as I stooped down to kiss
them I heard my husband's voice, very weak and feeble, saying in a whisper-" Mary." I threw myself upon his bosom.
In a moment the fear of death-the longing for death-the
wild and terrible thoughts, all had gone;-the sound of that
voice was life to me, and forgetful of his weakness, forgetful
of everything but him, I threw myself upon his bosom and
wept tears of joy.
"Very carefully and gently I raised him up, and, in the
darkness, every whispered word conveyed more meaning to
my mind than all his eloquence in by-gone times. After some
time I persuaded him to take a little nourishment-miserable
stuff that it was-and presently he fell asleep again. I laid his
23I 
TERRIBLE SCENES IN THE CAMP.
dear head upon the best pillow that I could make of some of
my own clothes, and then I slept a little myself-not much,
but it was more refreshing than any sleep that had visited my
eyes for long time past-hope had come again.
"The next morning my husband was evidently better, and
I knelt down beside him and thanked God for the miracle that
He had wrought; for was it not a miracle thus to raise my
dead to life again? How many stronger, stouter men than he
had I seen fall sick and die; but to me God had shown mercy
in my utmost need.
"We waited three long days for the return of Captain Willie. My heart was so full of thankfulness that my husband
had been spared that I certainly did not feel so acutely the
misery with which I was surrounded as I otherwise should
have done; I was like the prisoner who feels happy in a reprieve from death, but whose situation is nevertheless such as
would appear to any other person the most wretched in which
he could be placed. The misery that was suffered in that
camp was beyond the power of words to describe. On the
second day they gave us some more beef-rations, but they did
us little good. The beef was, of course, of the poorest, and,
eaten alone, it did not seem to satisfy hunger, and those who
were prostrated by dysentery, although they ate it ravenously,
suffered much in consequence afterwards.
"The number of the sick rapidly increased, and not a few
died from exhaustion; and really those seemed happiest who
were thus taken from the horrors which surrounded them.
Had it not been for the intense frost, we should all probably
have fallen victims to the intolerable atmosphere of the camp.
I would not even allow my mind to recall some of the scenes
which I witnessed at that time: scenes, the disgusting and
filthy horrors of which, no decent words could describe.
When you consider the frightful condition in which we were,
the hunger and cold which we endured, you may perhaps be
able in a small degree to conjecture-as far as a person can
conjecture who has not himself suffered such things-what we
then passed through. I saw poor miserable creatures, utterly
23g 
HELP IN TIME OF NEED.
worn out, dying in the arms of other forlorn and hopeless
creatures as wretched as themselves; I saw strong and honest,
honorable men, or who had once been such, begging of the
captain for the miserable scraps which had been saved for the
sick and the helpless children; I saw poor heart-broken
mothers freezing to death, but clasping as they died, in an
agony of loving woe, the torn and wretched remnants of clothing which they still retained, around the emaciated forms of
their innocent babes-the mother-instinct strong in death;
and sometimes at night when, all unbidden, I see again in
dreams the awful sufferings of those poor God-forsaken
wretches, I start in horror and pray the Almighty rather
to blot out from my mind the memory of all the past,
than to let me ever recollect, if but in fancy, that fearful
time.
"The third day came, and still no relief. There are mysterious powers of endurance in human nature, weak as we
often deem it, but there is a point beyond which the bow,
however flexible, will not bend. It was evident that if no help
arrived speedily, the end was not far off.
"The sun was sinking behind the distant western hills, in
all the glory of the clear frosty atmosphere of the desert, and
many who gazed upon its beauty did so with a mournful interest, believing that they would never again behold the light of
day. But at that moment some who were anxiously watching
with a last hope-watching for what they hardly dared expect
to see-raised a shout of joy.  We knew what it was!  Men,
women, and children rushed from their tents to welcome the
approaching wagons and our friends in time of need. Captain
Willie and the other Elder had found the rescue from Salt
Lake overtaken by the storm just as we were, but he had told
them of our terrible situation, and they had hastened on without a moment's delay. It was he and they, convoying good
supplies, who now approached us. The poor creatures shouted
wildly for joy, even the strong men shed tears, and the sisters,
overcome with the sudden change from death to life, flung
themselves into the arms of the brethren as they came into
233 
DISTRIBUTING THE SUPPLIES.
the camp and covered them with kisses. Such happiness you
never saw-everyone shaking hands and speaking joyfully
everyone saying'God bless you' with a meaning such as is
seldom attached to those words.
"The supplies were to us more than food and clothingthey were life itself. Elder John Chislett was appointed to
distribute the provisions and clothing, and everything was
placed in his hands. He gave out to us all what was immediately necessary, but strongly cautioned us to be very moderate in what we ate, as it was dangerous to go from the
extreme of fasting to a full meal. After supper, the clothing
and bedding was fairly divided, and we felt more thankful for
those little comforts than a person, who had never endured as
we had, would have felt had he become suddenly the recipient
of boundless luxury.
"Two of the Elders who had held forth such delusive hopes
to the company, not long before, as I have already told you,
were with the brethren who came to our relief. I have never
ventured to ask how it was that they could hold out to us in
God's name such promises, when they must have known, after
a moment's reflection, that they were utterly baseless, but I
think that probably they left their comfortable homet in Salt
Lake City and came across the stormy desert with supplies to
meet us, only to show practically how anxious they were to
atone for having led us astray. Next morning Elder Grant
went on east to meet the company following us, but Elder
W. H. Kimball took command of our company for the rest of
the way.
"We  could now journey but very slowly, for the road was
bad, the sick and weakly were, however, able to ride, and
altogether we suffered less. To some this change for the
better arrived too late-the mental and physical sufferings
which they had endured were too much for them. Poor souls!
they alone and their Father in heaven knew'what they had
passed through. They seemed to have lost all consciousness,
as if their faculties had been numbed and stultified. We
talked to them of the past, but they looked at us with unmean
234 
" TOO LATE-TOO LATE!" 
ing eyes, as if we spoke of something in which they had no interest; we tried to lead their thoughts to Zion, and the promises of the Lord; but it was all in vain. They turned from
us with a look of terrible apathy; and one or two, who partly
seemed to understand, only replied with an indifference painful to witness-" too late, too late!"
"As we journeyed, the weather every day grew colder:
Many of the unfortunate people lost their fingers and toes,
others their ears; one poor woman lost her sight, and I was
told of a poor sick man who held on to the wagon-bars to save
himself from jolting and had all his fingers frozen off. Few,
if any, of the people recovered from the effects of that frost.
One morning they found a poor old man who had vainly tried
the evening before to keep up with the rest. His corpse was
not far from the camp, but it had been sadly mangled by the
wolves. Then there came another snow-storm, only worse in
proportion as the weather was colder, and it was with the utmost difficulty that we could be kept from freezing. We
wrapped blankets and anything else we could get around us,
but the cold wind penetrated to our very bones. I was told
that some of the people, even women and children who lagged
behind were whipped so as to make them keep up, and to keep
life in them. I did not see this myself, but I believe, if the
story was true, it was an act of mercy and not of cruelty, for to
delay a moment was fatal. The captain of our hundred, more
than once stayed behind the company to bury some unfortunate person who died on the road: how he ever got up with us
again I cannot tell, but he seemed to be as indefatigable in his
labors as he was wonderfully preserved.
"Sometimes the carts came to a dead stand-still, and
several had to be fastened together and drawn by a united
effort, and in more than one instance the poor people gave up
altogether;-they were carried on, while they lived, as well as
we could; but their carts were abandoned. The stragglers
came in slowly to camp the night of the storm; —the people
from the Valley even went back to fetch some in; and it was
nearly six o'clock in the morning before the last arrived
235 
FIFTEEN BURIED IN ONE GRAVE.
"The next day we remained in camp, for there were so
many sick and dying that we could not proceed. Early in
the morning Elder Chislett and three other Elders went
round to see who was dead, that they might be buried. They
found in the tents fifteen corpses-all stiff and frozen. Two
more died during the day. A large square hole was dug and
they were buried in it three abreast, and then they were
covered with leaves and earth, every precaution being taken
to keep them from the wolves. Few of the relatives of those
who were dead came to the burial-they did not seem to care
-death had become familiar to them, and personal misery
precluded sorrow for the dead.
" As we drew nearer to Salt Lake Valley we met more of
the brethren coming to our assistance. They supplied us with
all we needed, and then hastened on to meet those who
followed us. The atmosphere seemed to become sensibly
warmer, and our sufferings were proportionately less as we
approached Zion.
"What the feelings of others might have been when they
first saw the goal of our hopes-Zion of our prayers and
songs-I cannot tell. Weary, Oh, so weary I felt, but thankful, more than thankful that my husband's life had been
spared. He was pale and sick, but he was with me still.
"I have written too much already, Sister Stenhouse. I
cannot tell you more now, but I may as well add that when
we left Iowa City we were about five hundred in all. Some
left us on the way. When we left Florence and began the
journey across the Plains we were over four hundred and
twenty, of which number we buried sixty-seven-a sixth of
the whole. The company which followed us, and to which I
have frequently alluded, fared worse than we. They numbered six hundred when they started, but they buried one
hundred and fifty on the journey-one in every four.  May
God grant that I may never again see such a sight as was
presented by the miserable remnant of that last company as
they came on slowly through the Cajion towards Salt Lake
Valley,."
236 
CHAPTER XVII.
WE FORSAKE ALL, AND SET OUT FOR ZION:-OUR JOURNEY'
ACROSS THE PLAINS.
Considering Our Position-Doubts and Fears-A Visit from the Apostle Geo.
Q. Cannon-We are "Counselled" to Emigrate-Giving up All for the
Church-Taking Charge of the Emigrants-The Insignificance of Women Wives are Never to Follow their own Judgment-" Be Obedient "-We Begin
our Pilgrimage-The Perpetual Emigration Fund-How Mormon Emigration
is Managed-Settling the Debts of a Lady-Love-How Certain Imprudent
Englishmen Have Suffered-The "Emigration" of Miss Blank-An Ancient
"Sister" who was Forced to Wait-Living Contradictions-First Glimpse of
Salt Lake City-A Glorious Panorama-The Spectre of My Existence-The
Prison-Walls of the Mountains-Without Hope-Life in the Wagons Search for a House-" Roughing It" in Zion-First Impressions-A Cheer
less Prospect for Winter-Daniel H. Wells Promises Assistance-A Woful
Spectacle of Tallow Candles-Odorous Illumination-" "L'Elise t'est moi" "An Ugly Man With a Cast in His Eye "-An Awkward Mistake-Beginning Life in Zion.
T was with strange feelings of doubt and unrest that I read
that painful story; but I folded up Mary Burton's letter
and stored it carefully away in my desk, and then I began to
think.
Certainly I was still a Mormon-at least I was nothing
else-but I was not now so firmly grounded in my faith as once
I was, and these terrible stories completely unsettled my
mind. Then, too, I was well aware that, before long, my
husband and myself would be called upon to cross the Plains
to Zion, and I felt that if our experience were anything like
that of Mary Burton, I and my children would never reach
Salt Lake. The prospect was not very cheering.
I5 
WE RECEIVE MARCHING ORDERS.
One morning we were surprised to receive a visit from the
Apostle George Q. Cannon who informed us that he had
received letters from Utah and had come to take the place of
Mr. Stenhouse as President of the Mission in the Eastern
States, and that we might now prepare to travel with the
next company of emigrants.
To me this was most unpleasant intelligence.  Polygamy,the knowledge that before long I should be brought personally within its degrading influence,-had now for years been
the curse of my life, and I had welcomed every reprieve from
immediate contact with it in Utah. But the time had come
at last when I was to realise my worst apprehensions, and I
think at that time, had I been permitted to choose, I would
have preferred to die rather than journey to Zion. Besides
this, ever since my husband had been engaged with the
secular papers, we had been getting along very comfortably.
We had now a pleasant home and many comforts and little
luxuries which we had not enjoyed since we left Switzerland,
and I was beginning to hope that we should be allowed to
remain in New York for a few years at least. We had also
by this time six children-the youngest only a few days oldand I leave it to any mother to determine whether I tad not
good cause for vexation when I was told that we were
expected to leave New York within two weeks with the
emigrants who were then en route from England. My husband also was to take charge of the company, and therefore
everything would depend upon me all the preparations for
our long and perillous journey, the disposal of our furniture,
and, in fact, the thousand and one little necessary duties
which must attend the packing up and departure of a family.
In the course of a few days the emigrants arrived, and then
my husband was compelled to devote all his time to them.
When I told the Elders that it was almost impossible for me,
in the delicate state of health in which I was, and with a babe
only two weeks old, to undertake such a journey, they told
me that I had no faith in the power of God, and that if I
would arise and begin my preparations, the Lord would give
238 
WIVES MAY NOT JUDGE FOR THEMSELVES.
me strength according to my day. Thinking that probably
my husband believed as they did, I made the effort, but it
cost me much. In the Mormon Church the feelings or
sufferings of women are never considered.  If an order is
given to any man to take a journey or perform any given task,
his wife or wives are never thought of: They are his property just as much as his horses, mules, or oxen, and if one wife
should die, it is of little consequence, if he has others, and if
he has not he can easily get them; and if he is not young or
fascinating enough to win his way with the young ladies, he
has only to keep on good terms with Brigham Young, or even
with his bishop, and every difficulty will be smoothed away,
and they will be "counselled" to marry him.
It is never expected, nor would it be tolerated in any Mormon woman that she should exercise her own judgment in
opposition to her husband, no matter how much she might
feel that he was in the wrong: I have frequently seen intelligent women subjected to the grossest tyranny on the part of
ignorant and fanatical husbands who were influenced by the
absurd teachings of the Tabernacle. One of the greatest
Mormon writers has said:
"The wife should never follow her own judgment in preference to that of her
husband; for if her husband desires to do right, but errs in judgment, the Lord
will bless her in endeavoring to carry out his counsels; for God has placed him
at the head, and though he may err in judgment, yet God will not justify the
wife in disregarding his instructions and counsels; far greater is the sin of
rebellion, than the errors which arise from the want of judgment; therefore she
would be condemned for suffering her will to arise against his.  Be obedient, and
God will cause all things to work for good."
The trouble and annoyance occasioned by leaving a comfortable position in New York to travel to such an unknown
region as Utah was then, was not a trifle; but we hastened
our preparations, sacrificing all that we possessed, in the most
reckless manner, and in due time set out.
When we reached Florence-the starting-point on the
Frontiers-we were detained on account of some mismanagement on the part of the Church Agents, and remained for
three weeks in camp.  Ours was what was called "an inde
239 
THE EMIGRATION OF MISS EBLANK.
pendent company"; by which I mean that we were able to
defray our own expenses without borrowing from the Church:
the poorer emigrants were assisted from a fund provided for
that purpose-the Perpetual Emigration Fund. More than
twenty years ago contributions were levied on the more
wealthy Saints for the purpose of providing the passage,
outfit, &c., of those who could not otherwise have "gathered
to Zion." It was not, however, intended that a free passage
should be provided; those who had a little money were
assisted, and then, after all, they had to make good to the
last farthing, with interest, what they had borrowed from the
fund. I have known many people who contributed very
largely, and it was represented constantly as the duty of all
to do so.
Men who contemplate entering into the patriarchal order
of matrimony, if they are Americans, generally try to discover
whether the "emigration" of their lady-love has been "settled
for," and if their investigations end unfavorably the result
very frequently is that their devotion is turned into another
channel and some other maiden whose expenses have been
fully paid bears off the palm. Englishmen have not always
been quite so prudent, and some have married according to
their own sweet fancy without asking a question, and to their
dismay, not long after the wedding, an account has been sent
in for the emigration of Miss Blank. Others, again, have not
been allowed to marry the lady of their choice until she was
first paid for, and if the old man was very much in love, this
was a quick way of getting the account settled. The Mormon
Church never gives, it only lends to the poor.  Many a man
and woman has given enough to have emigrated himself or
herself over and over again. This was because they were old
people, and it was the young girls and young people generally
who received the benefits of the fund. Many years ago a
poor old Widow woman  in England said to me: "I have
nearly starved myself to contribute all that I could to the
emigration fund, in hopes that I should have the privilege of
going to Zion and mingling with the chosen people of God,
240 
THEN AND NOW.
but every season the young girls are all picked out of our
branch, and I am told to wait. I cannot think that this is
right, but I don't wish to judge the actions of God's servants.
I suppose I must wait."
She did wait, and died waiting.
Our company was in an infinitely better position than that
of those emigrants of whose sad fate my friend Mary Burton
had told me; for our journey was made at the proper season,
and as far as was possible under the circumstances, convenience and comfort had been attended to. The incidents which
befell us were few, and although, of course, every one of us
felt weary and worn out, we were not called upon to pass
through the miseries and sufferings endured by the hand-cart
emigrants. Looking back to our primitive mode of travelling,
it appears to me almost as if I must be making some mistake
about my own age, and that it must have been several centuries,
instead of a few years ago, since we crossed the plains. The
ox-team and wagon, the walk on foot in the day and the
camp life at night have been pleasantly exchanged for the
swift travel of a few days in a Pullman palace-car.
What  living contradictions we were as we crossed the
Plains-singing in a circle, night and morning, the songs of
Zion and listening to prayers and thanksgivings for having
been permitted to gather out of Babylon, and then during the
day as we trudged along in twos and threes expressing to
each other all our misgivings, and doubts, and fears, and the
bitterness of our thoughts against Polygamy; while each wife,
confiding in her husband's honor and faithfulness, solaced
herself with the hope that all might yet be well. How little
sometimes do the songs of gladness reflect the real sentiments
of the heart.  How often have I heard many a poor heartbroken woman singing the chorus:
"I never knew what joy was
Till I became a Mormon."
I never could sing that song, for my experience had been
exactly the reverse.
241 
FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF SALT LAKE CITY.
It was the month of September-the beginning of our
beautiful Indian summer-when we emerged from the cation,
and caught sight of Salt Lake City. Everything looked green
and lovely, and in spite of all my sad forebodings while crossing the Plains, I involuntarily exclaimed, "Ah, what a glorious
spot!"  It looked like a beautiful garden-another Eden-in
the midst of a desert valley. We had a glimpse of the Great
Salt Lake far away in the distance, stretching out like a placid
sheet of molten silver, while everywhere around were the
lonely4ooking snow-capped mountains, encircling us like
mighty prison-walls.
It would be impossible for me to describe my feelings at
that time. Even while I was enchanted with the glorious
prospect before me, there arose again in my mind that haunting spectre of my existence-Polygamy. I believed that this
little earthly paradise would probably be to me and my
daughters after me, a prison-house, and with a mother's instinct I shuddered as I thought of what they might be destined to suffer there. Lovely as the scene was, there was a
fatal shadow overhanging it all. Then, too, there was no escape: if the sad forebodings of my heart were revaised, it
would be utterly impossible for us ever to get away. The
idea of a railway being constructed across those desert plains
and rocky mountains never for a moment entered my mind,
and even had I thought it possible, I should have supposed
that it would take a life-time to complete. No, there was no
help for me, even if it came to the worst. I felt that my doom
was sealed; and there were many women in our company who
thought just the same as I did and who were troubled at heart
with fe~ars as sad as mine.
My first impressions of Salt Lake City when we began life
there were anything but pleasant-we had to "rough it."
For nearly two weeks we were obliged to remain in our wagons,
as it was quite impossible to obtain house-room. At that time
each family built their own little hut, and there were no
vacant houses to let.
The weather was now growing very cold and wintry, and it
242 
A CHEERFUL HOUSE FOR WINTER TIME!
was absolutely necessary that we should have some better
shelter than the wagons afforded. One day my husband told
me, when he came home, that he had been offered a house
which belonged to the Church.  It was in a very dilapidated
condition, he said, but that if I would go and look at it with
him, we could then decide about taking it. No time was to
be lost, for companies of emigrants were coming in almost
daily, and if we neglected this chance we might not find
another.
When we arrived at the house I was much discouraged at
seeing the condition it was in: the window panes were all
cracked or broken out, the floors and walls looked as if they
had never known soap or paint, and the upper rooms had no
ceilings; in fact it was not fit for any civilised Christian to
live in. In point of size there was nothing to complain of,
but of comfort or convenience there was none,-the wind
whistled through every door and every cracked window; and
altogether it presented anything but a cheering prospect for
winter.
My husband told me that Daniel H. Wells, who was superintendent of Church property and also one of the First
Presidency of the Church, had promised him that if we took
the house it should be repaired and made fit for living in, before winter fully set in; and under the circumstances we
thought we could do no better than accept his offer.
Thus we began housekeeping in Utah, and we unpacked
our trunks and tried to give the place as home-like an appearance as we possibly could. I had known what it was to be in
a strange country and destitute; and, therefore, benefiting by
experience, when I left New York, regardless of the teachings
of the Elders and of my own husband's directions to the con trary, I had secretly stowed away many little necessaries
towards housekeeping. Indeed, had I not done so, we should
have been as badly off when we reached Zion as when we ar rived in New York. Besides which, I have no doubt that our
wagons would have been filled with the trunks of those very
brethren who counselled us not to take more than was abso
243 
HOUSE-KEEPING IN A SMALL WAY.
lutely necessary. The brethren who gave this counsel were,
I noticed, constantly purchasing while they advised every one else to sell, and I thought it wiser to follow their example
than their precepts.
Among my treasures was some carpet, and when that was
laid down and the stove put up we began to feel almost at
home. The wind, however, soon drove away all thoughts of
comfort, for it came whistling in through a thousand undetec ted crevices, and the tallow candles which we were obliged to
burn presented a woful spectacle. Even the most wealthy,
then, had no other light but candles, and every family had to
make their own: I have often seen people burning a little
melted grease with a bit of cotton-rag stuck in the middle
for a wick-how pleasant the smell, and how brilliant the light
thus produced can be imagined.  Everything was upon the
same scale-and to keep house in any fashion was really a
formidable undertaking, especially to those who had been accustomed to the conveniences of large towns. I believe that
many women consented to their husbands taking other wives
for the sake of getting some assistance in their home duties.
We spent nearly all the first evening in our new house in
trying to discover some means of keeping out the storm,
but to little purpose. Nearly a fortnight passed before any one
came to see about repairing the house, but as it belonged to the
Church my husband seemed to think it must all be right.
The Mormon men are always very lenient towards "the
Church "-very much more so than the Mormon women, for
the latter have somehow got mixed up in their minds the idea
that Brigham  Young and "the Church" are synonymous
terms. I remember one day a good young sister-a daughter
of one of the twelve Apostles-saying to me, "I have just seen
the Church," and when I asked her what she meant, she said:
"I have just met Brigham Young and Hyram Clawson, and
are they not the Church?" It was evident to me that others
besides myself sometimes gave way  to wicked  thoughts.
Nevertheless I was still of opinion that "the Church" had
plenty of money and ought to have repaired the house.
244 
"AN UGLY MAN WITH A CAST IN HIS EYE." 
One day a man whom I had never seen before, called upon
me and asked what repairs I should like done. I was not
feeling very well, and had been annoyed at the delay, and I
answered rather ungraciously that I should like anything done,
if only it were done at once, for I thought we had waited long
enough. He answered me very politely and said that he would
see to it immediately. When Mr. Stenhouse returned home
in the evening he said: "So you have had a visit from President Wells."  "No," I said, "there has been no one here but
a carpenter-an ugly man with a cast in his eye, and I told
hinm that I wanted the house fixed right away."
"Why, that was President Wells," he said, very much
shocked, and I think I felt as bad as he did when I realised
that I had treated one of the "First Presidency" so unceremoniously.
This Daniel H. Wells, besides being an Apostle, a Counsellor of Brigham Young, and one of the three "Presidents"
who share with Brigham the first position in the Church, and
are associated with him in all his official acts, was LieutenantGeneral of the Nauvoo Legion, and at the present time and
for some years past, Mayor of Salt Lake City. It was a
shocking indiscretion, to say the least, to speak slightingly df
such a high and mighty personage.
The repairs, however, were seen to, and the house rendered
a little more habitable. We had now to begin the struggle of
life afresh and could not afford to be too particular about
trifles;-to obtain shelter was something-for the rest we
must still continue to hope and trust.
245 
CHAPTER XVIII.
MY FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF THE CITY OF THE SAINTS.
Some Personal Observations-An Innocent Prophet-Living Witnesses of the
Truth-How Salt Lake City was Laid Out and Built-The Houses of Many Wived Men-My First Sunday in the Tabernacle-Curious Millinery of Lady Saints-Two Remarkable Young  Ladies-A Doubtful  Experiment-How
Service is Conducted in the Tabernacle-Extraordinary Sermons-Deceitful
Dealings of the Original Prophet-Why Joseph, the "Seer," Married Miss
Snow-Another of the Prophet's Wives-A Shameful Story-Aunty Shearer,
and her Funny Ways-Spiritual Wives and Proxy Wives-How the Saints
are Married for Time and for Eternity-Concerning Certain Generous Elders
-How  Wives are Secretly "Sealed"-Extraordinary Request of One of
Brigham's Wives-" The Next Best Thing "-Mormon Ideas of the Marriage
at'Cana-The "Fixins" of a Mormon Husband-How "The Kingdom"  is
Built Up-Women Only to be Saved by Their Husbands-A Painful Story A Very Cautious Woman-A Woman Who Wanted to be "Queen"-A
Deceitful Lover-A Strange Home-Picture-"These Constitute My  King dom "-Forebodings. 
ITH the eager observation of a woman who has a great
personal interest at stake, I took note of everything in
Zion which was new to me, and especially all that related to
the system of plural marriages, and all my worst fears were
abundantly realised.
Although I had looked at the dark side of Mormonism and
had pictured with horror the life of women in Polygamy, there
were nevertheless some truths which broke upon my mind with
painful effect. In England we had heard so frequently from
the lips of the Apostles and Elders that not only was Polygamy contrary to the teachings of Joseph Smith, but that it
was utterly unknown in Nauvoo during the Prophet's life 
THE CITY OF THE SAINTS.
time. Directly the Revelation was published, we, of course,
knew that if it really proceeded from Joseph he could not
have been so innocent of Polygamy as we had been taught;
but I was hardly prepared to meet several of his wives out in
Utah; and yet almost the first thing that I heard was that
there were living in Salt Lake City, ladies well-known and
respected, who had been sealed to the Prophet. This I afterwards found was true.
The Mormon Colony in Salt Lake City had at first to
contend with all those difficulties and submit to all those
privations which beset the path of all new settlers in a strange
country. Until very recently the greater number of the
dwellings were small and low, like so many little huts, and
not infrequently you might see a row of these huts, with one
window and a door to each, and, inside, a wife, a bedstead,
two chairs and a table-with poverty to crown the whole.
But even then might be seen in the laying out of the streets,
and in the other arrangements, the germs of a great city.
The roadways were broad and the sidewalks convenient, and
provision was made-more with an eye to the future than to
present necessity-for a great depth in the measurement of
the houses and blocks. Down the sides of the streets flowed
a sparkling stream-the water of which was brought from the
mountains for the purpose of irrigating the gardens in the
city; and, as far as they possibly could, the settlers marked
out and planned a capital worthy of that name for the Mormon people.
When  I arrived in Salt Lake City, a great many improvements had been effected; and expecting, as I did, that this
would be our future home for many years, perhaps for life, I
was interested in everything that I saw. But even then, in
merely taking a walk about the city, I met with evidences of
the degrading teachings of Polygamy-I saw that little deference was paid to the women, they were rudely jostled at the
crossings, and seemed to be generally uncared for. Since the
completion of the railway and the consequent influx of
Gentiles, this, of course, has not been noticeable.
247 
PROPHET! WHAT OF THE FUNDS?
The city is built on a slope formed by a bend in the
mountain-range. Brigham Young's house is on the northern
side, and has a commanding prospect. The Tabernacle and
tithing-office are in the same street. The Tabernacle is a
plain-looking building entirely devoid of any architectural
beauty. It stands in the block where the Temple, which has
been building for the last quarter of a century, and is now
only a few feet above ground, is waiting to be finished.
Nearly twenty-six years ago Brigham wrote to Orson Spencer,
the President of the Mormon Church in England, urging him
to "gather up as much tithing as he possibly could, for glass,
nails, paint, &c., to assist in building up the Temple of the
Lord in the Valley of the Great Salt Lake." A large sum of
money was collected, and millions have been raised by tithing
and by other means, but there has been no one hitherto with
courage and authority sufficient to demand of the Prophet an
account of those funds, and the interest and compound interest
which should be accruing thereunto.
The first Sunday I went to the Tabernacle I was greatly
amused at the way in which some of the sisters were dressed.
Quite a number wore sun-bonnets, but the majority wore
curious and diverse specimens of the milliner's art-relics of
former days. Some wore a little tuft of gauze and feathers
on the top of the head, while others had helmets of extraordinary size. There were little bonnets, half-grown bonnets,
and "grandmother bonnets" with steeple crowns and fronts
so large that it was difficult to get a peep at the faces which
they concealed. As for the dresses, they were as diversified
as the bonnets. Some of them presented a rather curious
spectacle. I noticed two young women who sat near me:
they were dressed alike in green calico sun-bonnets, green
calico skirts, and pink calico sacks.  On enquiring who they
were, I was told that they were the wives of one man and
had both been married to him on  the same day, so that
neither could claim precedence of the other.  Outside of
Utah such a thing would seem impossible, but so many of the
young girls at that time came out to Zion without father or
248 
EW OF MAIN STREET, SALT LAKE CTl'lY.
[From a Photograph. ]  
INSIDE THE TABERNACLE:-THE SERVICES AND SAINTS. 25 
mother or any one else to guide them, and left to their own
inexperience and afraid to disobey "counsel" it is no wonder
that they soon yielded to the universal custom.
The two young women whom I have mentioned, did not
appear to me to be overburdened with intelligence; they
looked like girls who could be made to believe anything; but
after that I met with two well-educated women who, like these
foolish girls, thoughtlessly tried the experiment of two or
more marrying the same man on the same day,-agreeing
with their "lord" that that would be the best way to preserve
peace in their household. But they were terribly mistaken,
and even before the marriage-day was over, the poor bewildered husband had to fly to brother Brigham for counsel.
The Tabernacle services seemed to me as strange as the
women. There was no regular order in conducting the proceedings, but the prominent brethren made prayers, or "sermons" as they were called upon to do so. The "sermons" would
be more properly called speeches-they were nothing but a
rambling, disconnected glorification of the Saints, interspersed
with fearful denunciations of the Gentiles, and not infrequently a good sprinkling of words and expressions such as
are never used in decent society.  More unedifying discourse
could hardly be imagined. As for the spirituality and devotional feeling which characterised our meetings in England,
they were only conspicuous by their absence, and many
devout Saints have told me that when they first went therebefore the erection of the great organ-the free-and-easy
manners of the speakers and the brass band which was then
stationed in front of the platform, made them feel as if they
had come to witness a puppet-show, rather than to attend a
religious meeting.
There  was one lady at the Tabernacle service whom  I
regarded with considerable interest. This was no other than
Eliza R. Snow, one of the Prophet's wives.  I was told that
she was the first woman married in Polygamy after Joseph
Smith received the Revelation, and I believe it was so. People
who lived in Nauvoo, respectable people, and not one or two 
252      E. R. S.-HIGH-PRIESTESS OF THE CHURCH.
either, have assured me that for four years before Joseph is
said to have received the Revelation, he was practicing Poly gamy, or something worse, and that the Revelation was given
to justify what was already done. After it was given, or said
to be given, Joseph and his brother Hyrum cut off from the
Church more than one person for preaching it, and nine years
more passed away during which the Mormon Elders everywhere most emphatically and solemnly denied it, before it was
publicly avowed. However this might be, it is generally
understood that Eliza Snow was the first plural wife of the
Prophet, and I was told by a lady from Nauvoo that Joseph
did not care much for her, but that she was getting to be
quite a querulous old maid, and he married her to keep her
tongue quiet.  If that is true she has entirely changed her
tactics since she left Nauvoo, for her principal occupation at
the present time is converting rebellious wives to obedience
to their husbands and convincing young girls that it is their
duty to enter into Polygamy. Unhappy husbands derive
great consolation from her counsels. In matters of religion
she is a perfect fanatic, and in connection with the Female
Relief Society she reigns supreme; but otherwise there are
many excellent tr-aits in her character, and I could'tell of
many acts of loving-kindness and self-denial which she has
performed, and which will surely have their reward. She is
said to have been tolerably good-looking when young, but in
appearance there is nothing now to distinguish her. As the
chief poet of the Mormon Church, and as the representative
of Eve in the mysteries of the Endowment House, she enjoys
a reputation such as would be impossible to any other woman
among the Saints.
Another of the late Joseph's wives is a Mrs. Doctor Jacobs,
who was actually married to the Prophet while she was still
living with her original husband, Jacobs. Under the same
circumstances she married Brigham Young, after Joseph's
death. For some time her husband knew nothing of the
whole affair, but Brigham very soon gave him to understand
that his company was not wanted. The sister of Mrs. Jacobs 
A STRONG-MINDED, ANGULAR, "SPIRITUAL" WIFE. 253
-a Mrs. Buel-was another of Joseph's wives, and she mar ried the Apostle Heber C. Kimball, but does not appear to
have made a very good bargain.
Besides these there is another lady, a Mrs. Shearer-or as
she is familiarly called-" Aunty Shearer."  She is in every
respect a unique specimen of womanhood, tall and angular,
with cold yet eager grey eyes, a woman of great volubility,
and altogether grim-looking and strong-minded. She was an
early disciple and is said to have sacrificed everything for
Mormonism.  She lived in Joseph  Smith's family, and, of
course, saw and heard a great deal about Polygamy, and at
first it was a great stumbling-block to her. She was, however,
instructed by the immaculate Joseph, and so far managed to
overcome her feelings as to be married to him for eternity.
Like the others she is called "Mrs.," and I suppose there is a
Mr. Shearer somewhere, but upon that point she is very
reticent. Her little lonely hut is filled with innumerable
curiosities and little nick-nacks which some people are for
ever hoarding away in the belief that they will come into use
some day. She is a woman that one could not easily forget.
She wears a muslin cap with a very wide border flapping;n
the wind under a comical-looking hood, and is easily recognised by her old yellow marten-fur cape and enormous muff:
her dress. which is of her own spinning and weaving, is but
just wide enough, and its length could never inconvenience
her. Add to these personal ornaments a stout pair of
brogues, and you will see before you "Aunty Shearer," one
of the Prophet's spiritual wives.
I may as well explain what is meant by "spiritual" wives and
"proxy" wives.
Marriages contracted by the Gentiles, or by Mormons in
accordance with Gentile institutions, are not considered binding by the Saints.  That was partly the cause of my indignation and the indignation of many another wife and motherwe were' told that we had never been married at all, and that
our husbands and our children were not lawfully ours: surely
that was enough to excite the indignation of any wife, what 
254 HOW "PROXY" AND "SPIRITUAL" WIVES ARE "SEALED."
ever her faith might be.  For a marriage to be valid it mnust
be solemnized in the Endowment  House in Salt Lake City,
or the persons contracting it can never expect to be husband
and wife in eternity. Should the husband die before he
reaches Zion, and if the wife loves him sufficiently well to
wish to be his in eternity-when she arrives in Salt Lake City,
if she receives an offer of marriage from one of the brethren,
and does not object to him as a second husband in this world,
she will make an agreement with him that she will be his
wife for timne, but that in eternity she and all her children
shall be handed over to the first husband. A woman thus
married is called a "proxy" wife.  It can well be understood
that if the lady had lost her youth and good looks there
would be very little chance of her husband seeing her again
in eternity, as there would not be too many willing to stand
proxy for him, and in that case he would have to depend upon
the generosity of friends.
Now "spiritual" wives are of two classes.  The one consists of old ladies who have plenty of money or property
which of course needs looking after; and generous Elders
marry them, and accordingly "look after" that same property,
and the owner of it becomes the Elder's spiritual wife. She
will only be his real wife in eternity when she is rejuvenated
-the prospect of which rejuvenation is, I suppose, very
fascinating to some men, for I have known quite youthful
Elders who displayed their -self-sacrificing spirit by marrying
"spiritually" very old, but very wealthy, ladies.
The other kind of "spiritual" wife is one who is married
already, but who does not think that her husband can "exalt"
her to so high a position in the celestial world as she deserves;
perhaps some kind brother who'takes a great interest in
her welfare has told her so-she then is secretly "sealed" to
one of the brethren who is better able to exalt her-perhaps
to this same brother; and in the resurrection she will pass
from him who was her husband on earth to him who'is to be
her husband in heaven-if she has not done so before.
This is what is meant by " proxy" and "spiritual" wives. 
SHE WANTED TO,BE BRIGHAM YOUNG'S "QUEEN!"  255
I think it will be evident even to the dullest comprehension
that under such a system, "the world, the flesh, and the
devil" are far more likely to play a prominent part than any thing heavenly or spiritual.
All this is so repugnant to the instincts and feelings of a
true woman, that I feel quite ashamed to write about it. And
yet the working out of this system has produced results which
would be perfectly grotesque were it not that they outrage
every ordinary sense of propriety. Let me give an example.
One of the wives of Brigham Young-Mrs. Augusta Cobb
Young —a highly educated and intelligent Boston lady with
whom I am intimately acquainted, requested of her Prophethusband a favor of a most extraordinary description. She
had forsaken her lawful husband and family and a happy and
luxurious home to join the Saints, under the impression that
Brigham Young would make her his queen in heaven.  She
was a handsome woman a woman of many gifts and graces,
and Brigham thoroughly appreciated her; but she made a
slight miscalculation in respect to the Prophet. He cares
little enough for his first wife, poor lady, and few people who
know him doubt for a moment that he would un-queen her,
and cut her adrift for time'and eternity too, if his avaricious
soul saw the slightest prospect of gain by doing so-he did
not care for. her, but he never would allow himself to be
dictated to by any woman. So when the lady of whom I
speak asked him to place her at the head of his household, he
refused: she begged hard, but he would not relent. Then
finding that she could not be Brigham's "queen," and having
been taught by the highest Mormon Authorities that our
Saviour had, and has, many wives, she requested to be
" sealed" to Him!  Brigham Young told her (for what reason
I do not know) that it really was out of his power to do that,
but that he would do "the next best thing" for her-he would
"seal" her to Joseph Smith.  So she was sealed to Joseph
Smith, and though Brigham still supports her and she is
called by his name on earth, in the resurrection she will leave
him and go over to the original Prophet.
I6 
WHAT  IS A  "FIXIN?"
The reader will certainly be shocked at this terrible burlesque of sacred things, but I felt it my duty to state'the truth
and place facts in their right light. It is not generally known
that the Mormons are taught that the marriage at Cana of
Galilee was Christ's own nuptial feast, that Mary and Martha
were his plural wives, and that those women who in various
parts of the New Testament are spoken of as ministering to
him stood to him in the same relation.
Malicious first wives, especially if they are rather elderly
themselves, frequently call the proxy wives "fixins;" and the
tone in which some of them utter the word is in the last degree contemptuous.  These poor "fixins" are seldom treated
as real wives by the husband himself. He may think sufficiently well of the "proxy" wife to make her his for time and
to raise up children to his friend, as the Elders say, but he
never forgets that in eternity she will be handed over to the
man for whom he has stood proxy, and he expects that she
also will bear that in mind, and do all she can for her own
support, and never complain of his want of attention to her.
Some men, after having married a young proxy wife, have become so enamored that they grew jealous of the dead husband,
and have tried to get the wife to break faith with him, and be
married to them for eternity as well as time.  This was certainly rather mean. Very few Gentile husbands would fret
themselves about possibilities in the world to come, if in this
world they had the certainty of enjoying the undivided affections of their wives.
Mormon husbands are so influenced by their religion that
they neither act nor think like other men.  I am thinking of
one wretched family that I knew soon after I went to Utah.
There was a man and his wife and four children, all living
together in a miserable, poverty-stricken hut. I had heard
that the man was paying attentions to a young girl with a view
to making her his second wife, and I frequently watched the
first wife as she went in and out, doing her chores, and wondered how she felt about it. The poverty of the man, of
course, was of no consequence; living in the primitive style
256 
' SHE WOULD ONLY BE AN ANGEL!"'
.n which necessity then compelled the Saints to live, one or
even half-a-dozen extra wives, made very little difference, and
Brigham and the leading Elders have always represented it as
a meritorious act, for the young especially, to " build up the
kingdom," without regard to consequences, or the misery of
bringing up a family in a destitute condition. I never can see
children without loving them, and in this case it was not long
before I contrived to make acquaintance with the little ones.
One day, while I was talking to them, the mother came out.
She seemed pleased to see me, for she had heard of me that I
was not too strong in the faith, and she told me that her husband had said, in speaking of such women as myself, who did
not like the celestial order of marriage, that their husbands
ought to force them right into it, and that would show what
they were made of: if they were true-hearted women seeking
their husband's glory and "exaltation" in the world to come,
they would bear it well enough; and, if not, the sooner it
killed them the better; for if they were dead their husbands
could save them in the resurrection, but if they lived they
would only be an incumbrance.
This, I found, was the general opinion among the Mormoci
men.  Even in England, the American Elders had taught us
that the man was the head and "saviour" of the woman, and that
the woman was only responsible to her husband. It was necessary, we were told, that the woman should keep in favor
with her lord, otherwise he might withdraw his protection and
refuse to take her into the celestial kingdom; in which case
when she got to heaven she would only be an angel! To be
an angel is not considered by the Saints to be Dy any means
the highest state of glory. Those who do not obey the " Celestial Order of Marriage" will, like the angels, neither marry nor
be given in marriage; they will be located, the men in one
place, and the women in another, and will serve as slaves, lackeys, and boot-blacks to the Saints. Brigham Young once
publicly said of a certain President of the United States, that
he would clean the boots of the Mormon leaders in heaven.
He did not say this as a figure of speech, but meant it liter
257 
258 EXTRAORDINARY WAY OF PREPARING FOR A BRIDE.
ally. Those who have obeyed the Gospel of the new dispensation, but who have failed to enter into Polygamy will be as
upper servants, but the rebellious-the "vile apostates," and the
"wicked Gentiles" will join the angels and do all the drudgery for the men of many wives. Thus I learned in Zion that
my youthful notions about the glory of the cherubim were
quite a mistake, and that it was not such a fine thing to be an
angel, after all.
But I have run away from my story, and had almost
forgotten my poor acquaintance. She was a woman who was
likely to preserve a painful place in the memory of any one
who once saw her. Her face was pale as death, and her jetblack eyes glistened with an unearthly lustre; it was easy to
perceive that she was very unhappy, although she tried hard
to exhibit a cheerful disposition, and when our conversation
turned to that subject which to women here is all-absorbing,
the nervous twitching of her pale face showed how deeply painful such thoughts were to her. She told me that her husband
was soon to be married to a young girl about fourteen years
of age. "Do you see," she said, "that he is building for her?"
And sure enough he was, at odd hours, adding anotherhut to
the miserable hovel in which they already lived; and thither,
when it was finished, he intended to take his bride. As I
looked at the poor wife, I felt little doubt, that ere that time
came, her troubles on earth would have ended and her little
ones would be motherless.
The Mormon women, as well as the Mormon men, are noted
for attending to their own business-they do not care to tell
their sorrows and trials to strangers or to people who are
not of their own faith. In this way visitors to Salt Lake who
have gone there with the intention of "writing-up" the Saints in
the newspapers or in a book, have generally been misled. My
own experience as a Mormon woman leads me to form anything but a flattering opinion of the Mormon stories told by
Gentile pens. The following instance will show that the sisters are not quite so free in giving their experience as some
writers would suggest. 
STRANGE INTERVIEW WITH A THIRD WIFE.
One day, while passing through the city, I saw a young
woman running across the road with a little child in her arms.
The child was crying piteously, for the water was running
from its clothing, and I saw in a moment that it had fallen
into the stream which ran in front of the house. I followed, to see if I could be of any assistance, but fortunately
found that the little creature was not seriously hurt, but would
soon recover from the fright and cold. I helped the mother
to change its clothing, and while she was lulling her baby to
sleep, we entered into conversation. At first she appeared to
be very shy of me, and avoided speaking of anything in the
slightest degree personal; but growing more interested, she
said at last:
"Are you a Mormon?"
"Certainly," I answered, "but why do you ask me "
"Because," she said, "We have had one or two Gentile
women among us, and they go round among our people and
question the women, and get them to tell their troubles, which
God knows are heavy enough, and then they go and write
about it, and Brigham Young finds it out, and their husbands
are called to account for allowing their wives to speak to the
Gentiles.  You are sure you are a Mormon?"' she added,
and you are not deceiving me?"
"I'm sorry you should think such a thing," I said, "but if
you suppose I would deceive you, I will not trouble you with
my company." And I rose up to leave.
"Do not go yet," she said, "and pray forgive me if I have
wounded your feelings; it is simply the fear I have of getting
into trouble. BrighamYoung and the Elders have frequently
told us to have nothing to do with the Gentiles, for they are
enemies to the kingdom of God, and are seeking our overthrow-and I suppose it is true."
"How long have you been here?" I asked.
"Over two years," she replied," and it seems almost twenty
time has passed so slowly.  I left father and mother, sisters and brother for the Gospel's sake, and I do not regret it,
because it is right, but it was a very great sacrifice to make.
259 
A MORMON WIFE'S OPINION OF BRIGHAM.
Yet I believe that God blesses us for the sacrifices we make,
and I shall get my reward."
"You  have it already," I said, -in that pretty child on
your knee, and your husband, I hope, is a good man and
kind to you."
"Yes," she anwered, "my child is a very great source of
happiness to me, and I love my husband very much but-"
(hesitatingly) "are you in Polygamy?"
"No, not yet, but I do not know how soon my husband may
take it into his head to get another wife."
"Are you first wife?" she asked.
"Yes," I replied, "and I suppose you are also?"
"No, I am third wife," she said, " I wish I were first wife."
"But why," I suggested, "do you wish that?  If Polygamy
is the true order of marriage, I do not see that it makes
much difference whether one is the first or the twentieth wife?"
"Oh dear, yes," she replied, "it does make a great deal of
difference; for the first wife will be queen over all the others,
and reign with her husband. If I had known that before I
was married, I should have made my husband promise to place
me first. Men can do that if they like."
"But do you think you would be doing right in trying to
gain the position of first wife in that way?"
"Why not?" she said, "Didn't Jacob obtain his brother's
birthright by deception-and was he ever punished for it? Do
you think that Brother Brigham, notwithstanding that he is
the inspired servant of God, could have obtained his position,
and all his money, by simple honest dealing? If you think so,
I don't; and it is just as proper and right for us women to
secure a position for ourselves by such means as it is for Brigham Young-the end justifies the means."
"If that is so," I said, "it is a wonder to me that any
woman should consent to become second, third, or fourth wife
-seeing they cannot be queens."
"I can see that you have not yet had your' Endowments,"'
she said, "or you would understand more about these things,
but as you are a good Mormon I can speak freely to you.
260 
HOW A WOMAN CAN BECOME A QUEEN.
You see it is not always those who are first wives in this world
who will be first in the celestial kingdom. It all depends
upon the amount of sacrifice the wife is capable of making for
her husband, her faithfulness to him, and the number of
children she has borne him. If she pleases him in every particular and is good, patient, and above all things obedient to
all his wishes and commands, then she is almost certain to be
made queen, unless the first wife is just as good, and then I
don't know how they would fix that.  And so you see it is
safer to be first wife at once."
"Well but," I asked, "knowing all this, I am surprised that
you consented to be third wife!"
"But I did not know it then," she continued.  " My husband told me that all the wives were queens-all equal-and
he says so still when I talk to him about it. But he can't
deceive me. I have spoken to some of the old Nauvoo women
who know all about it, and they tell me that all the Polygamic wives will be subject to the first wife; but the first wife,
having suffered most, will be the one who has gone through
the fire and been purified, and found worthy."
"But do you think that your husband would wish to deceive
you about such an important matter?" I said. A
"Wait till you have lived a little longer here," she replied,
"and you will be able to answer that question yourself, or else
your experience will be very different from that of the rest of
the people here."
Just then the husband made his appearance, and put an end
to the conversation. He was a tall, dark-looking man, with
grey hair, old enough to be her father. He appeared to be
well educated and to have seen better days, though everything
about their home indicated poverty-the room in which we
were sitting had no carpet on the floor, there was a plain
white-pine table in the middle, a small sheet-iron stove, four
wooden chairs, a small looking-glass, and some cheap pictures.
This was the sitting-room for the whole family-three wives,
eleven children, one husband. He asked me if I had seen the
rest of the family.
26x 
THE FATHER OF THE LITTLE FAMILY.
I replied negatively, and he said he would see if any of them
were about.   Presently he. returned  accompanied  by  an
elderly woman whom he introduced as Mrs. Simpson. Then
came another, not quite as good-looking as the first, but a
great deal younger, and he introduced her as "My wife Ellen
And this one," he said, turning to the one with whom I had
been conversing, "is my wife Sarah. Don't you think I have
got three fine-looking women?"  Then, after a pause, he
added: "And they are just as good as they are good-looking
-good, obedient wives.   I have  no  trouble with them:
my wishes are law in this house.  Here you have a family in
which the Spirit of God reigns.  We are not rich in worldly
goods, as you see, but we are laying up treasure in heaven.
We all live in this little home of four rooms.   My wife Ellen,
here, has given up her room for a parlor f6r us all to meet
together in, and she sleeps in a wagon-box; it is not the most
comfortable, but she never grumbles. Then, here is our
Sarah; we are obliged to humor her a little, and give her a
room all to herself.  She is young and inexperienced, and
doesn't like to put up with the inconveniences that the Saints
have to bear with; while old mother here has got to have
half-a-dozen children in her room, but she never compmins."
"Why did you not wait," I said, "until you had a larger
house?"
"Then where would my kingdom be?" he answered,
"Young men may wait, but old men must improve their time."
There came in now a troop of children of all ages.  They
had been playing in the lot, were miserably clad, barefooted, and  some looked gaunt and hungry:-manners to
match. "These," he said, with all a father's fondness"these constitute my kingdom, and I am proud of them."
I felt thankful that I was not destined to be queen over
such a kingdom, wished them good-bye, and with a sad heart,
went home to my own darling little ones not knowing what
might be their fate
2:62 
CHAPTER XIX.
BRIGHAM YOUNG AT HOME:-WE VISIT THE PROPHET AND
HIS WIVES.
Inside the Lion House-The Family-Circle of the Prophet-A Gracious Recep.
tion-A Woman's Description of Brigham Young-His Early Life and Strug gles-Working for "Six Bits" a Day-How he "Ate Up all the Corn" How he Worked as a Painter and Glazier-Born at the Right Time-Brigham
Young's Character Summed Up-How he Obtained his Positionl-The Twelve
Apostles of Mormonism-Intrigues for Place and Power-Pulling the Nose of
a Queen-Delivered Over to "The Buffetings of Satan "-Poor Sidney! The "First Presidency "-Yearly Elections-A  Foe to Education-What
Boys and Girls Should Learn-An  Unfortunate Musical Society-Moral
Delinquencies of the Prophet-Borrowing Clothes for a Conference-How
a Million Dollars were Borrowed and Paid!-Brigham's Avarice, Cowardi,e,
and Thefts-A Terrible Despotism-Lost Opportunities.
HORTLY  after our arrival in Salt Lake City we visited
President Young, who received us very graciously and
appointed an early day for us to dine with him.
On that occasion he invited some of the Apostles and leading men to meet us at his table, and we passed an exceedingly
pleasant evening. The Prophet made himself very affable;
talked with us about our missionary life and other subjects of
personal and general interest; and expressed a high opinion
of the energy and ability which my husband had displayed.
His wives, too,-who I found, as far as I could judge from
such a casual acquaintance, to be amiable and kind-hearted
ladies,-made every effort to render our visit agreeable.
I was much pleased with the manner and appearance of 
A LIFE-PORTRAIT OF THE PROPHET.
Brigham Young, and felt greatly re-assured; for he did not
seem to me like a man who would preach and practice such
things as I had heard of him while I was in London. This I
was glad to see, for it encouraged me to think that, perhaps,
after all, matters might not be so bad as I had anticipated.
We were, in fact, very kindly received in Salt Lake City by
every one with whom we came in contact; for hating been Missionaries for so many years, we were, of course, well known by
name, and had a wide circle of acquaintances among the chief
Elders and emigrants.
Fifteen years have, of course, worked a great change in the
appearance of Brigham Young; but though he is now nearly
seventy-three years of age, he is still a portly-looking-I might
almost say handsome man. His good looks are not of the
poetic or romantic kind at all; he is very common-place and
practical in his appearance, but long and habitual exercise of
despotic authority has stamped itself upon his features, and is
seen even in the way he carries himself: —he might without
any stretch of the imagination be mistaken for a retired sea.
captain.
When I first knew him in appearance he was little over
fifty years of age, was of medium height, well built, Wright,
and, as I just stated, with the air of one accustomed to be
obeyed. His hair was light,-sandy, I suppose I ought to call
it,-with eyes to match; and the expression of his countenance was pleasant and manly. I, of course, regarded him
from a woman's stand-point; but there were others who were
accustomed to study physiognomy, and they detected-or
thought they detected-in the cold expression of his eye and
the stern, hard lines of his lips, evidences of cruelty, selfishness, and dogged determination which, it is only fair to say, I
myself never saw.
The lines on his face have deepened of late years, as what
little of gentleness his heart ever knew has died out within
him; but still he presents the appearance of a man who would
afford a deep study to the observer of human nature. In
early life he had to work hard for a living, and according to
264 
I
/ 
I 
THE PROPHET AS A PAINTER AND GLAZIER.
his own statement he had a rough time of it. He was, by
trade, a painter and glazier, and has frequently said in public
that in those times he was glad to work for "six bits" a day,
and to keep his hands busy from morning to night to get even
that. Whether or not the privations of early years fostered
in him that avaricious and grasping spirit which of late years
has been so conspicuous in him, I cannot say, but it is certain
that it cropped out very early in his career as a Saint. An
old Nauvoo Missionary,-a Mormon of the Mormons once,
but now, alas! a "vile apostate" as Brigham would politely
call him,-once told me that when the Prophet Joseph Smith
sent the Apostle Young on Mission, a good deal of discontent
was shown that the said Apostle did not account properly for
the collections and tithings which passed through his hands.
Brother Joseph who was then "the Church" suggested in a
pleasant way-for the Prophet Smith was a big, jovial fellow,
six feet two or three inches in height, and withal somewhat of
a humorist-that the said Apostle Brigham would appear in
his eyes a better Saint if he displayed a little less love for
filthy lucre. Thereupon the Apostle, like somebody else who
shall be nameless, quoted Scripture and reminded the Prophet
that Moses had said "Thou shalt not muzzle the mouth of tlhe
ox that treadeth out the corn." "True, Brother Brigham,"
said Joseph, "but Moses did not say the ox was to eat up all
the corn." Brother Brigham made no reply, but is said to
have "sulked" for two or three days.
I have not the slightest doubt that, but for Mormonism, the
Prophet would have remained all his life a.journeyman painter,
and his " sweetness," as the poet says, would have been wasted
"on the desert air." But he was born just at the right time,
and he fitted into the right groove; and thus, while, the original Prophet of the new faith-Joseph Smith-a man of ten
times the intellect of his successor, a man ignorant and
deluded, it is true, but, at the same time, a man in whom was
the material for one of those natural giants who from age to
age have left the impress of their individuality upon the history of the world;-while, I say, this man's name and doings
265
I 
265    THE REAL CHARACTER OF BRIGHAM YOUNG.
have ceased to interest any but persons of studious mindBrigham Young, whose narrow soul could never look beyond
the little circle in which he lived; whose selfishness and
heartlessness have been only equalled by, his cruelty and
degrading avarice, has, by the force of circumstances alone,
obtained a place in the recognition of the world, to which by
nature or by grace he had not the shadow of a claim.
I have often heard intelligent Gentiles remark "Well, Brigham Young may be a wicked man and an impostor, but there
must be a great deal of talent in him, to manage those people
for so many years."'
From this opinion I altogether dissent; and those who
know Brigham best, think with me, though many of them
would not dare to say so. I do not think Brigham Young a
wicked man or an impostor in the sense in which those words
are ordinarily used; and experience, and a careful study of his
life and doings, have convinced me that he is certainly not a
great man or a man of genius in any sense of the word.
There can be no doubt that he has been guilty of many and
great crimes, but I believe that in the early part of his career
he was so blinded by fanaticism that those crimes appeared to
him actually virtues:-the force of habit and the daily issociations of his life have so completely taken from him all sense of
right and wrong; while the devotion of his people has made
the idea that he could possibly do the slightest wrong so
utterly inconceivable to him and to them; that his perceptions of justice, truth, honor, honesty, and upright dealing are
as utterly stultified as they ever were in the mind of the
wildest savage who prowled among the cliffs and caions of
the Rocky Mountains.
People think that Brigham Young attained to his present
position by the exercise of ability, such as has been displayed,
only on a greater scale, by all those men, who, not being born
to power, nor having it thrust upon them, have by the force of
their genius seized it and held it-unlawfully it might be, but,
nevertheless, with talent and moral energy.
Nothing could be more untrue.  The fact that he was of a 
HOW BROTHER BRIGHAM OBTAINED HIS POSITION.   267
certain age at a certain time, and only that, was the cause of
Brother Brigham's first step up the ladder of ambition.
Joseph Smith endeavored, in organising his newly-invented
religion, to make it resemble as much as was possible both the
old and new dispensations of Christianity, and among other
institutions he appointed "Twelve Apostles" who were to assist
in governing the Church. He associated with himself his elder
brother, Hyrum, and also Sidney Rigdon, who had so greatly
assisted in every way to establish the new faith and define its
principles. This Rigdon is the same who has always been
suspected of the authorship of the Book of Mormon, though it
must be admitted that nothing more than circumstantial
evidence can be adduced in support of this statement. However that might be, the two Smiths, Joseph and Hyrum, and
Sidney Rigdon formed what was called the "First Presidency"
-in other words they were "the Church."  Next in order to
them came the "Twelve Apostles," and after them the "Seventies," and the other grades of the Priesthood, of which I shall
say more presently.  The "Twelve Apostles" were first appointed according to a plan of Joseph's own-Lyman Johnson
was placed first, Brigham Young came next, and the others
rfollowed. Not long after, however, Joseph made a new arrangement, and placed the Twelve according to their age, and
this plan was always followed subsequently. Thomas B.
Marsh now stood first, and next to him came David Patten,
and then Brigham Young.
I am obliged to give these little details, in order that the
reader may understand Brigham's position after the death of
Joseph Smith.
When Joseph was murdered in Carthage Jail, with his
brother Hyrum, Sidney Rigdon alone remained of the First
Presidency.
At that time Thomas B. Marsh, the first of the Apostles,
had apostatised; David Patten had been killed in a fight with
the mob; and, consequently, Brigham Youngwas now President of the Twelve-he being the next in age. Thus it will
be seen that even had he been (which he was not) the most 
268    "LITTLE VIC." THREATENED BY A PROPHET.
stupid and least fitted of all the Apostles to preside over the
Church, his years would nevertheless have given him the
leadership.
Up to this time there is no evidence that any idea of
becoming head of the Church had ever entered into Brigham's
mind.  Indeed it is reported that Joseph on one occasion, reproving him, said ironically that if ever the Church had the
misfortune to be led by Brother Brigham, he would lead it to
well, a place which is understood to be uncomfortably
warm. But Joseph was now dead, and Rigdon alone remained
between the Apostle Young and the headship of the Church.
Then it was that his eyes appear for the first time to have
been fully opened to the advantages of his position.
Now when the ancients took the fox as an emblem of craftiness, it was because they had never known Brigham. Brigham worked cautiously and prudently, for he probably is one
of the greatest cowards in existence, both morally and physically, and like all cowards he was perfectly aufait in working in the dark.   In accomplishing the removal of Rigdon, Rigdon himself was Brigham's best assistant. A man of,
prudence, or even of common sense, might have safely held
his position against all the Brighams in the world, but prudence and common sense were qualities utterly unknown to
Rigdon. He began to have wonderful visions and revelations,
announced the immediate ending of the world, and stated that
he would forthwith lead out the armies of the Lord to the
battle of Armageddon, in Palestine, and then return in triumph,
calling by the way, as he said, "to pull the nose of little Vic.!"
"Little Vic." was the English Queen-then a young woman
-but how she incurred Rigdon's wrath, I do not know. In
addition to all this absurd nonsense, he ordained some of his
particular friends to be prophets, priests, and kings, and
otherwise showed that he intended to' carry matters with a
high hand.
Brigham watched his chance, and when he considered that
matters were ripe for a change, by dint of secret manceuvering, he caused Rigdon to be tried before the "High Council" 
HOW BRIGHAM YOUNG OBTAINED HIS POSITION.   269
at Nauvoo. Rigdon sent word that he was sick, and could
not come, but the trial went on, and of course it could have
but one ending. The result was-as the Mormon papers at
the time reported-that: "Elder Young arose and delivered
Sidney Rigdon over to the buffetings of Satan, for a thousand
years, in the name of the Lord; and all the people said,
Amen."
Poor Sidney! He tried to set up a church for himself, and
a good many people followed him, but tile attempt was a failure. He is now a very old man, and cannot live long, but
he still believes in the truth of Mormonism, as established by
Joseph Smith.
Brigham's next step was to declare that the government of
the Church was now vested in the Twelve, of whom he was
the head. Later still he contrived, by selecting a time when
nearly all of the Apostles would be promoted or in some way
gratified by a change in the organisation of the Church, to get
himself elected President of the Church, in the place of
Joseph, with the two Apostles next under him as his associates, under the name of "counsellors;" and they together
formed the First Presidency.   Thus Brigham became in
name, as well as in fact, the head of the Mormon Church.
Every year, Brother Brigham, in common with all the other
officers of the Church, is duly re-elected; I need hardly say
that the re-election is a matter of course-an opposition candidate would stand but a poor chance of success.
Brigham Young is an uneducated man.   For that, of
course, he is not deserving of blame, but his opposition to
education in others and to all that is intellectual and elevating
does him little credit. Only a very few years ago he with his
two "Counsellors,"-Heber  C. Kimball  and Jedediah M.
Grant, who were both spoken of as model Saints,-held forth
in the Tabernacle, in the most unmieasured language, against
schools and scholastic acquirements of every description.
They were all three untaught men, and like all persons of
small mind who have not themselves received any education,
they hated and affected to despise those who had. Thought 
EDUCATION AT A DISCOUNT.
ful men, although they may never have enjoyed the advantages of literary culture, never fail to see the great power that
it is, either for good or evil; and in most cases they try to
secure for their children the blessing of which they themselves
have been denied. But the Mormon leaders, while they
ridiculed and affected to despise men of education, were
shrewd enough to see that if schools were established and the
children of the Saints permitted to attend them, the bonds
of superstition would certainly be shaken and the fabric of
Mormonism undermined.   They, consequently, discouraged
every attempt at self-improvement, and taught the people
to aspire to nothing higher for their children' than the rudiments of reading, writing, and arithmetic for the boys, and
a knowledge of household, dairy, and farm work for the girls.
Before the "Reformation" a few young men anxious to
improve their minds, organised what they called the " Literary and Musical Society." They gave pleasant social entertainments to their friends at which they gave recitations,
read essays, poems, and other literary productions, varying the programme with selections of music. The authorities looked upon the whole proceeding with disfavor,
and soon broke up the society. Not content with this, and
in order to show their contempt, they humiliated the members in every possible way, even publicly pointing them out
to ridicule, and appointing a good many of them to be doorkeepers in the Tabernacle. Brigham Young, who it is said,
never in his life read a book, could not understand that they
could find any pleasure in intellectual amusements, and accused them of pride, conceit, and even wickedness. Among
the Church leaders it is even now common to speak of any one
who has any literary acquirements as "having the big head,"
and being "next door to apostacy."
Recently greater efforts -to obtain a good education for their
children have been made by the more intelligent among the
Saints, and the Gentiles in Utah have established some very
excellent schools. A library and reading-room have also been
opened, and the latter has been well attended by the young
27o 
THE PROPHET S BANK ACCOUNT.
men, both Mormons and Gentiles. Brigham himself has with
his usual inconsistency even gone so far as to give to his own
children those advantages which he selfishly denied to his
poorer brethren.
Of the Prophet's moral character, the less said the better.
He has been remorseless and cruel in his enmities, and he has
connived at and even suggested, if nothing more, some of the
most atrocious crimes that have ever been perpetrated on the
face of the earth. In business matters, in the payment of
money-to use a popular phrase-his word is as good as his
bond, but in the accumulation of wealth he has evinced an
amount of dishonesty which can scarcely be credited. Brigham always meets his obligations, and pays his debts, and gets
a lawful receipt: —the prophetic business could not otherwise
be carried on; but the way in which he has obtained his
wealth would put to the blush the most dishonest member of
any "ring" in New York, or elsewhere.  When he attended
his first Conference, he says he had to borrow certain masculine garments and a pair of boots before he could put in
an appearance. Now it would be difficult to estimate the
value of his property.  He has taken up large tracts of land
all over the Territory, he has the uncontrolled and unquesf
tioned command of all the tithing and contributions of the
Saints, and from gifts and confiscations, and innumerable other
sources, his revenue pours in. It was once rumored that he
had eighteen or twenty millions of dollars in the Bank of England; but Brigham said that the report was not true.  "The
Church," he added, had a little money invested abroad. The
difference between "The Church" and the individual Brigham
Young has yet to be determined.
In the year I852 the "Prophet of the Lord" found that he
had borrowed an inconveniently large sum from the funds of
the Church.  He is " Trustee in Trust" and, of course, legally
responsible; but he never renders an account of his stewardship, and no one ever asks him for it. His sense of honesty
was, however, so strong that he resolved to have his account
balanced, and he went down to the Tithing-Office for that
I7
271 
272 HOW BRIGHAM RETURNED HIS LOAN TO THE CHURCH.
purpose. There he found that his indebtedness amounted to
two hundred thousand dollars, and he proceeded to pay it after
his own fashion:-the clerk was instructed to place to his
credit the same amount "for services rendered." In I867, he
owed very nearly one million dollars, which he had borrowed
from the same fund, and he balanced his account in the same
way. His contract for the Pacific Railroad is said to have
yielded him a quarter of a million, and his other contracts and
mining speculations, purchases and thefts of lands, houses,
&c., have been very profitable. The expenses of such a family
as Brother Brigham's must be something enormous, but the
contributions which by honest and dishonest means he has
levied have been so large that he must still be one of the
wealthiest men in the States.
Brigham is not a generous man. He has given occasionally, as for instance at the time of the Chicago fire, when he
presented a thousand dollars for the sufferers, but even then
his motive was evident-the affairs of "Deseret" were under
discussion in Congress. Without the certainty of a profitable
return, Brigham never gave a cent. The story of his sordid
avarice and his contemptible meanness in the accumulation
of money would fill a volume.  
Morally and physically the Prophet is a great coward.
When he and other Church leaders were arrested a year or
two ago, charged with the very gravest crimes, the effect upon
the Prophet was most distressing. He had solemnly sworn
in the Tabernacle that he would shoot the man who attempted
to arrest him; but when Judge McKean opened court and
placed him under arrest he swallowed his threats and played
the coward's part.  Before this the world has seen wretches
who were notorious for their cruelty and tyranny, and who
were also remarkable for their cowardice.  For many years
he has imitated royalty and has had a strong body-guard to
keep watch and ward around his person every night.  No
man  has less cause to apprehend personal violence than
Brother Brigham, but the voice of conscience, which, as the
poet says, makes cowards of us all, suggests his fears. 
LOST OPPORTUNITIES.
No one, probably, ever possessed and lost greater oppor tunities of doing good and leaving behind him an enviable
record than Brother Brigham.  In him the Saints, from the
smallest to the greatest, placed implicit trust, and it was in
his power to mould them at his will. The spiritual and
temporal welfare of the people was in his hands. The ability
to elevate them socially, mentally, and morally was his. A
great trust was committed to his charge.  But he has basely
betrayed that sacred trust, and has not only left undone what
he should have performed, but he has been guilty of the
most grievous wrong-doing. He has set at nought all moral ity with his horrible and debasing teachings respecting a
"blood-atonement "-in other words, the duty of assassination.
He has outraged decency and riven asunder the most sacred
social and domestic ties by his shameless introduction of
Polygamy. He has sacrilegiously defiled the temple of God,
by teaching his followers to worship Adam as their divinity,
and has robbed Christ of his birthright by proclaiming that men
are the only saviours of their wives and that in respect to
women the sacrifice of our Lord was of no direct avail. In a
word-both by his preaching and his practice he has set an
example so bad as to be utterly without parallel in this
civilised age. Kings and emperors there are who hold in
slavery the persons of men: hierarchs there are who hold in
bondage the souls of the deluded. But the despot meddles
not with the eternal welfare of his subject, nor does he pollute
the sacred precincts of the hearth and home; and the false
priest is not permitted to meddle with temporal affairs. But
the Mormon despot-Brigham Young-has played the tyrant
in both spiritual and worldly matters,-has meddled with the
person, the property, and the lives and the liberty of his
dupes; and has at the same time debased and enslaved their
souls.
But let it not be supposed that I write this hastily, or
without due consideration. People outside of Utah may be
deceived, as indeed they frequently are, by representations
made in ignorance of what Mormonism and the Prophet
273 
274 THE TRUE CHARACTER OF THE MORMON PEOPLE.
really are.  But the Gentiles long resident in Utah, the
Apostates, and even the Mormon people themselves, if only
they would tell the truth, could testify to the truthfulness of
the picture which I have drawn of Brother Brigham.
A better people-aside from their religion than the
believing Mormons when they emigrated to Utah, it would be
difficult to find. Their fault was in their faith. They were
honest, sober, industrious, and ready to sacrifice everything
to what they considered religious duty. I cannot think of
them and of the implicit confidence which they placed in
Brigham, without wondering at his folly in throwing away
the noble opportunity, which was once within his grasp, of
establishing a happy and contented people. Instead of this
he has gathered wealth to himself and family; out of the
poverty of his followers he has amassed enormous riches, and
with the power to leave behind him a name as one of the
benefactors of the human race, he has set the worst example
which despot or false prophet ever presented to the world.
lw
4 
CHAPTER XX.
THE WIVES OF BRIGHAM YOUNG:-THEIR HISTORY AND
THEIR DAILY LIFE.
The Prophet at Home-His Own Little Family-Domestic Life of a Patriarch Wife the First-Two Sisters Married to the Same Man-Brigham's Son at
West Point-She "Had Her Day "-A Troublesome Wife-The Privil eges of Mormon Women-Shocking Case of Infatuation-Emmeline-The
Forsaken Favorite-The Fickle Fancies of the Prophet:-Amelia: "the Queen
of the Harem "-The Follies of a Modern Prophet-The Charms of Julia
Dean-The Spirit of the Prophet Subdued by Amelia's Will-Eliza-Ann
Tells Her Own Story-How Brother Brigham Won His Last Wife-Fictions
and Frauds-Brigham Names the Marriage Day-He Came "Just as it Hap pened"-Getting Groceries in a Small Way-"Two Bits' Worth of Fresh
Meat"-The Conclusion of Eliza-Ann's Story-A Patriarchal Family-The
Father of Fifty Children-A Questionable Story-" Whose Child is He" Inside the Prophet's Mansion-Pocket-Money and Divorce-Domestic Life
of the Prophet-Entertaining a Visitor-How a Large Family is Managed -The Patriarch at Home.
THE  wives of Brigham Young have always been subjects
T of interest to Gentiles who visited Zion; and having
spoken of their husband, I think it is only fair that I should
say a few words about them.
For many years I have known personally all the Prophet's
wives who reside in Salt Lake City, and I wish to speak of
them with kindness and respect. They are women whom
any one would esteem-conscientious, good, earnest women;
faithful, true-hearted wives, who have devoted their lives to
the carrying out of what they believe is the revealed will of
Gods.
I 
THE WIVES OF BRIGHAM YOUNG.
When I first knew Brother Brigham, poor man, he had
only sixteen living with him in Salt Lake City; and even
now he has no more than nineteen! Perhaps I ought to say
eighteen, since Eliza-Ann has run away from him and left
the poor old gentleman desolate and forlorn. The three whom
he took after I came to Utah, were Amelia Folsom, Mary
Van Cott Cobb, and Eliza-Ann. But the reader will perhaps be interested in hearing about them all, and so I will
state the names and order of the ladies as they at present
stand-according to the date of their marriage; making
mention el the proxy wives last of all, for the sake of convenience and without reference to date. Of course Brother
Brigham has had many more than nineteen wives, but the
following are the living ladies: others are dead or have
strayed away, no one knew whither, and perhaps, as Brother
Heber once said to me, nobody cared.
Allow me to introduce the Mrs. Young.
MRS. MARY ANN ANGELL YOUNG.
[Number One.]
First in order is Mrs. Mary Ann Angell Young, buy she is
not the first-wife that Brother Brigham ever had. Once upon
a time, Brother Brigham was a Methodist; but after listening
to the preaching of the Mormon Missionaries he became a
vile apostate as he loves to call those who leave his present
faith and he forsook Methodism. In those days, before he
apostatised, and long before he ever dreamed of Polygamy, he
had but one wife-one only!  It must seem strange to the
Prophet to look back to that period of solitary existence. His
second wife was Mrs. Angell Young; and I call her his first
wife because she is the first of those living now. As she was
married to him after the death of his first wife, she is, of
course, his legal wife, and would be recognised as such in
any civilised country. She is a very fine-looking old lady and
very much devoted to her unfaithful lord and master, firmly
believing in his divine mission. She lives by herself and is
seldom troubled with a visit from her affectionate spouse.
276 
THE FIRST FAMILY OF BRIGHAM YOUNG.
Once in a while Brigham brings her out to a party when he
has invited any Gentiles, just for appearance sake. Quite a
number of persons in Utah believe that she is dead, so very
little is seen and known of her. She lives in the White
House-Brigham's first residence in Salt Lake City-and is
much thought of by those who do know her. Her children
are greatly attached to her, and show her a great deal of
attention, making up in this way, to a certain extent, for her
husband's neglect; her three sons, Joseph A., Brigham-who
it is expected will succeed his father as President of the
Church-and John W., as well as her two daughters, Alice and
Luna, are all in Polygamy. Each of the sons has three
wives; and each of the daughters has a half-sister as a
partner in her husband's affections. Brigham has not the
slightest objection to giving two of his daughters to the same
husband.
LUCY DECKER SEELY YOUNG.
[Number Two.]
Lucy Decker Seely Young was his first wife in Polygamy.
Her former husband was a Mr. Seely. She is short and
stout, a very excellent mother and a devoted wife. Her soti,
Brigham Heber, is now one of the cadets at West Point. The
sending of this young man to West Point to be educated,
when it was noticed in the public papers, excited some little
interest, and the faith of many of the good Mormons was
very much shaken by it. They had believed that Brigham
really meant what he taught when he told the people not to
allow their children to associate with the Gentiles, as it would
cause them to lose "the spirit."  But they were still further
shocked when they learned that several other sons of Brigham
were to go to the Eastern States to be educated. They have
yet to learn that the Prophet does not intend them to do as
he does but rather as he tells them.  My own opinion is that
Brother Brigham has advocated one course of conduct for the
people while he pursued another himself.
277 
THE PROPHET'S LITTLE FAMILY.
CLARA DECKER YOUNG.
[Number Three.]
Clara Decker Young is the third wife. She is a sister of
Lucy Seely, and like her is short and stout, but otherwise
good-looking. She is more than twenty years younger than
her lord, with whom she was once quite a favorite, but like
many others, she has "had her day"-to use Brigham's own
expression-and is now, as a matter of course, neglected.
HARRIET COOK YOUNG.
[Number Four.]
Harriet Cook Young, is tall, with light hair and blue eyes,
and is an intelligent but not at all a refined woman. She is
said to have given a great deal of trouble to Brother Brigham,
of whom she has frequently said very hard things. In times
past she had the reputation of being a good deal more than a
match for her husband when she had any cause of offence
against him, but in her quiet moments she is a very sincere
Mormon.  She has only one son-Oscar Young-now about
twenty-five years of age.  When he was born, Brigham,indly
announced to her that because she was not obedient she
should have no more children, and during more than a quarter
of a century he has kept his word.  Why she has remained
with him so long is a mystery, for she makes no secret of her
feelings towards him.
LUCY BIGELOW YOUNG.
[Number Five.]
Lucy Bigelow Young is quite a fine-looking woman-tall and
fair, and still quite young. She has three pretty daughters.
Brigham has recently sent her to live in southern Utah.
MRS. TWISS YOUNG.
[Number Six.]
Mrs. Twiss Young has no children, but she is a very good
housewife, and.Brigham appreciates her accordingly, and has
278 
THE LADIES IN THE LION HOUSE.
given her the position of housekeeper in the Lion House.
Women have two great privileges in the Mormon Churchthey may ask a man to marry them, if they chance to fancy
him, and if they don't like him afterwards they are able to
obtain a divorce for the moderate sum of ten dollars, which
sum the husband is expected to pay. Mrs. Twiss exercised
the first privilege in reference to Brother Brigham, but has
not yet availed herself of the last. There are other ladies who
thought it would be a great honor to be called the wives of
the Prophet, and they have requested him to allow them to be
called by his name. This he has done, but he has never
troubled them with his society.
MARTHA BOWKER YOUNG.
[Number Seven.]
Martha Bowker Young is a quiet little body, with piercing
dark eyes, and very retiring. Brother Brigham acts towards
her as if he had quite forgotten that he had ever married
her, and she lives in all the loneliness of married spinsterhood.
HARRIET BARNEY SEAGERS YOUNG,
[Number Eight]
Harriet Barney Seagers Young, the eighth wife, is a tall,
fine-looking woman. She was another man's wife when Brigham made love to her.  It is not supposed to be the correct
thing for a Saint to court his neighbor's wife, but the Prophet did so in the case of Harriet Barney, and in several other
cases too. Harriet was married to a respectable young Mormon gentleman, but after she had lived with him some time
and had borne three children -to him, the Prophet persuaded
her to join his ranks, and she did'so, believing that the word
of the Prophet was the revelation of the Lord to her, but she
has since had bitter cause to repent of her folly. To a Gentile mind such an infatuation must appear very strange, but the
Mormon people personally understand the powerful influence
which their religion exercises over them, and to them there is
nothing very singular in all this.
279
Vr 
280   BROTHER BRIGHAM'S DOMESTIC ARRANGEMENTS.
ELIZA BURGESS YOUNG.
[Number Nine.]
Eliza Burgess Young is the only English wife that Brigham
has. She fell in love with the Prophet, wanted him to marry
her, and even offered to wait, like Jacob, for seven years if she
might be his at last. So she served in the family of her lord
for the appointed time, and he finally took her to wife as a
recompense for her faithfulness. She has added one son to
the Prophet's kingdom.
SUSAN SNIVELY YOUNG.
[Number Ten.]
The tenth wife on my list is Susan Snively Young. She is
a German woman smart, active, and industrious. She has
no children, but has been quite a help-meet to her husband in
making butter and cheese, in which she excels. Smart Mormons have always had an eye to business, and while living up
to their privileges have not invariably sought for wives who
were only fair and pleasant to look upon, but have frequently
taken them for their own intrinsic worth -one as a good
dairymaid, another as a good cook, a third as a good laundress, and a fourth as a lady to grace the parlor-perhaps
even two or three of this last kind, if the Saint were wealthy.
There is a good deal of practical wisdom in this. Brother
Brigham has gathered of all sorts into his net, and has then
sorted them out, placing each lady in the place where he
considered she would be most useful and profitable to
himself.
MARGARET:PIERCE YOUNG.
[Number Eleven.]
Margaret Pierce Young is very lady-like, tall, and genteel.
She has the appearance of being very unhappy, and it is
certain that she has been very much neglected, but not more
so than many of the other wives. She has one son. 
EMMELINE:-A FORSAKEN FAVORITE.
EMMELINE FREE YOUNG.
[Number Twelve.]
When first I went to Utah, Emmeline Free Young was the
reigning favorite, and she was really the handsomest of
Brigham's wives-tall and graceful,with curling hair, beautiful
eyes, and fair complexion. Brigham was as fond of her, at
the time, as a man of his nature, with such a low estimate of
woman, could be. But a younger, though not a handsomer,
rival soon captivated his fickle heart, and he left poor Emmeline
to mourn in sorrow. She has never been herself since then,
and probably never will be-she is a broken-hearted woman.
She is the mother of quite a numerous family, and doubtless,
as she had been the favorite for so long a time, she had come
to believe that her husband would never seek another love.
But, if this was so, she sadly miscalculated Brigham, for when
his licentious fancy was attracted to another object of affection he cast off Emmeline as ruthlessly as he would an old
garment. What decent person could refrain from loathing
such a man! How often has my heart gone out in sympathy
towards that poor, wrecked woman whom he had forsake,;
what a pity I deemed it that so much love should be wasted
upon a creature who could never understand or appreciate it.
And yet Emmeline's fate has been no worse than that of the
others; but I was more with her, and saw how keenly she
suffered, and I sympathised with her when her sorrows
brought her nearly to the point of death.
AMELIA FOLSOM YOUNG.
[Number Thirteen.]
Amelia Folsom Young is now the favorite, and it is supposed that she will continue to be so, for at last poor Brother
Brigham has found a woman of whom he stands in dread. It
is doubtful whether he loves her, but nobody in Zion doubts
that he fears her. It is said that the Prophet has confided so
many of his secrets to Amelia that he is obliged to submit
to her tyranny, for fear of her leaving him, and exposing some
28i 
282 "PETTICOAT GOVERNMENT".-THE REIGNING FAVORITE.
of his little ways which would not bear the light. Be that
as it may, it is generally believed that after all his matrimonial
alliances he has at last found his master in the person of
Amelia. Even good Saints-friends of the Prophet-secretly
enjoy the idea of him being at last brought under petticoat
government, for it is believed that Brigham used unfair means
to obtain her, and that at last he only gained his object by
deluding her into the belief that the Lord had revealed to him
that it was her duty to become his wife. One thing is very
certain-he was as crazy over her as a silly boy over his first
love, much to the disgust of his more sober brethren who felt
rather ashamed of the folly of their leader. At the theatre a
seat was reserved for her at his side, and in the ball-room the
same special attention was shown to her. He would open the
ball, and, after dancing with each of his other wives who
might be present-simply for appearance sake-the remainder
of the evening was devoted to her.  For all that, his inconstant heart could not remain faithful to her, and old habits and
feelings, to all appearance, have come over him again, and he
has gone astray.
Julia Dean, the actress, was the first to draw hii from
Amelia's side, and it would have been a sorry day for Amelia
if Julia had favored the Prophet's suit. Then the charms of
Mary Van Cott touched his sensitive heart, to say nothing of
Eliza-Ann, his last but yet not his best-beloved.
With all this experience, and the constant evidences of the
fickleness of Brother Brigham's heart before her eyes, there is
no wonder that poor Amelia feels compelled to hold tight the
reins, now that they are in her own hands, for, if it is not
much to be known as Brigham's wife, it is a great deal to be
known as his favorite.  As for the future-it is whispered
that Brother Brigham has lately been "setting his house in
order," and in the ordinary course of nature, Amelia is almost
certain to outlive for many years her aged lord, she therefore
can afford to wait for the good time coming. But Amelia
knows that she would sink into oblivion if he were to cast her
off for another.before his death. 
.V 
<JMELIA FOLSO M Y  2X:       ELIZA AN N,"
M~LA   Y.-.../'
iON
THE LADIES' SIDE OF MORMONISM.
'~ "%w IF E.
E/TE ENTI-I
WI FE.
.,s 
BROTHER BRIGHAM'S LAST BABY.
MARY VAN COTT COBB YOUNG.
[Number    Fourteen.]
Mary Van Cott Cobb-who became Brigham's wife after his
marriage to  Amelia-is  a very handsome woman,  about
twenty-eight years of age. She is tall, slender, and graceful,
and h.s been married to the Prophet about six years.  At
first he appeared to be very devoted to her, but Amelia soon
put a stop to that. Nevertheless, she has since her marriage
presented a little daughter to her lord, greatly to the annoyance of Amelia, who has no children, and who is reported to
have said some naughty things about the matter, which was
very wrong of her, for Mary Van Cott is known by every one
to be beyond reproach or suspicion. She is said to be very
unhappy, and though Brigham has provided her with a fine
house and every comfort, yet she seldom sees him-not perhaps more than once in three months, or so-though it is
generally believed that his spirit is willing, but Amelia won't
allow it.
ELIZA-ANN WEBB DEE YOUNG.
[Number Fifteen.]
Eliza-Ann Webb Dee Young, whose separation from Brigham Young has attracted so much public attention has told
her own story in her own words which, as it forms an interesting page in the biography of the Prophet, I shall now present, exactly as it was written, to the reader:
I was living on my father's farm in Little Cottonwood, when, in the summer of
I867, Brigham Young informed my father that he wanted me for a wife. Brig.
ham, with a number of the Apostles and Elders from this city, was visiting Cottonwood on a Sunday and held two meetings for preaching. It was at the close
of the forenoon service on that occasion that he walked up to me and said
"Had I not better accompany you home."  I said, "Certainly, if you wish to."
On the way to my father's house Brigham asked me if I had had any proposals ot
marriage since I had obtained a divorce from my first husband. I answered him,
"Yes, that I had had several proposals." He then asked if there was any one ol
them that I wished to accept.  I said, "No," on which he said that he would
like to give me a little advice. He advised me not to wait to marry a person
whom I loved, but to marry some good man whom I could respect and look 
to and receive good counsel from.
285
J 
286  THE STORY OF ELIZA-ANN-" NUMBER NINETEEN!"
I thanked him for his counsel, and as my home was so near to the place of
meeting, the conversation abruptly terminated. I thought nothing further of it.
His brother Joseph and George Q. Cannon joined us at the dinner table, and
while there Brigham and the others remarked how youthful I had grown since I
had got out of my former troubles. As I had much improved in every way I did
not regard his observations as any intended compliment or any indication of
what afterwards I learned to be passing in his mind.
At the close of the afternoon service he went up to my father, took him aside and
talked for at least two hours to him about me, and told him how that he had watched
me from my infancy, saw me grow up to womanhood, had always loved me and
intended to marry me, but having taken Amelia just after the law was passed in
Congress prohibiting polygamy, he feared to take another wife soon after, lest it
should make trouble, or he would have taken me then. My marriage with a
young man was unlooked-for to him, and when he was made acquainted with it
he did not just like to stop it, he said, and so he let it go on, but always hoped
that the time would come when he would have me.
He wanted father and mother to use all their influence with me, as it would be
the best thing I could do. He asked father if a good house, well furnished, and
$I,ooo a year pocket money would be enough for me, and added that if it was
not enough I should have more. Father answered that he thought it would be
sufficient.
Brigham stood two hours or more with father and kept the whole of the carriages that conveyed the party standing waiting till after sundown, and little did
I think that I was "the object of interest."
When father came home he told mother by herself; then they told me. I
cannot describe my feelings; I was frightened. The thought of it was a perfect horror. I thought father had gone crazy, and I would not believe his
statement for hours. When I realised that it was a fact I could do nothing
but cry.
The idea of an old man, sixty-seven years of age, the husband of about
twenty wives living, asking me, at twenty-two, to be added to the number filled
me with the utmost abhorrence, and when I saw that my parents were under his
influence and sustained his proposition, I was ready to die in despair. Oh! the
horrible hours that I spent in crying and moaning, no tongue can picture.
When  father saw that I took it so badly he told me that I would not be
forced into it, but if I could bring my feelings to it and accept Brigham it would
be pleasing to him, and mother favored it in the same way.
About a month after this I was in the city with an intimate lady friend, and as
we were walking near to Brigham's house he came to the gate and waited
for our arrival. When I saw him I thought that I would get up courage
to tell him that I would not marry him, but I could not say it. That peculiar
influence that he throws over everybody when he has a purpose to effect completely overcame me. He did not allude to the subject at all. I shook hands
and passed on.
He became very kind to my parents, and saw father frequently. He sent for
me to come to the city on several occasions and met me at my father's city residence, and talked to me about marriage; told me how pure his feelings were,
and that his only motive was to do me good, save me in the kingdom and make 
"NUMBER NINETEEN" TELLS HER OWN STORY.  287
me a queen. All that had no effect upon me; it only disgusted me the more, and
the fear that I dared not resist him never left me. This continued for nearly a
year. My eldest brother had had some business transactions with Brigham and
one of his sons, which resulted in trouble and ultimately in financial injury to my
brother. Brigham had been very angry with him and threatened to cut him off
from the Church. I heard of those threats, and believing at that time in Mormonism, I heard them with deep sorrow, and confess that, in hopes of turning
. righam's anger away from my brother, I began to entertain the thought that I
would yield to his request I argued as many inexperienced persons do, that as
I had had a sorrowful life and my heart was crushed, my future life was nothing,
and if I could sacrifice myself for my brother's interest and please my parents, I
would at last submit.
Finally, Brigham named the marriage day and informed me, through my father,
that what I required in preparation for my marriage he would furnish; but
I would accept nothing. A day before my marriage he brought me three
dress patterns-one silk and two merino-and handed to me a purse with a
$50 bill.
On the      April, i868, I was married to him in the Endowment House by
Heber C. Kimball, his First Counsellor. My father and mother were present,
with others. Brigham's brother Joseph also took to himself a wife at the
same time. After the ceremony I walked over with him to the conference,
and in the evening I returned to my father's house and remained there for
a month.
For the first few months I had considerable of his attention; his visits were
frequent; after that his business cares so occupied him, he said, that he
could only call about once in three months. After that he came "just as it
happened."
When I was married he wanted my mother to live with me in the city, and 
year from the marriage he sent us to take charge of his farm, where we remained
till last August, and I removed again into the city. While I was at the farm he
came very seldom to see me, and oftentimes while he would visit and look round
at the farm he never came into the house.  I had caused him no trouble; indeed,
he had said I was the best wife he had, for I had never given him a cross word
or look. But for that good temper I take no credit, for my silence was all
through fear. I never loved hnn and never said to him that I loved himn I
looked upon him as a heartless despot.
From the very beginning of my married association with Brigham Young his
manner of providing for me was of the meanest character. I had to come up,
even from the farm, four miles distant, to the commissary of his family, and was
glad when I could get five pounds of sugar, one-quarter of a pound of tea, a bar
of soap and a pound of candles. That I would get about once a month. About
a year ago I complained to him that I had not sugar enough and he allowed
me what I required.
When I returned to the city he furnished me a house in a very ordinary way
and I continued to live in the best manner I could. But it was the same stingy
way. When a beef was killed I got some fresh meat; but I was frequently
months without seeing it.
Tired with this manner of existence, I asked his permission to keep board 
CRUEL TREATMENT OF "ELIZA-ANN."
ers, with the view of aiding myself and procuring for one of my sons a musical
instrument, as he was passionately fond of music. The permission was granted,
and I kept boarders from last March. My house was small, and the business
was not very lucrative. I consequently went to him, six weeks ago, and asked
him to aid me-to give me some assistance to make life tolerable. He sc m.red
angry, and complained that he had so m;r-y expenses and that he wanted me
to keep myself-to take the money that I hod saved to buy an organ for my son
and keep myself and family with it. I got a stove out of him, but that was all.
During the last year I only obtained from him two calico dresses. This interview made me sick and I was in bed for a week, with heart sickness.  One of the
boarders-who was a lawyer-and his wife, asked what ailed me, and I told the
story of my troubles and inquired if there was no redress. He said that he
thought that there was and he would consult with other lawyers and see what
could be done. During all my sickness, while I was his wife, he showed the
utmost indifference. He would hear what I had to say, but make almost no
answer. Last fall I was attacked with pleurisy, and I managed to get tc his
office to see him to tell him how ill I was and that I needed some few things,
He appeared to comprehend something and finally called "John," the commissary for the family, and told him to get me two bits worth of fresh meat. He
has not been inside my house for nearlv a year.
While I was feeling bad I read Mrs. Stenhouse's book, and that showed me
things in a clearer light than I had seen them before.
I knew every word was true from my own sad experience, and it encouraged
me to leave the hateful polygamic life, and I am glad that I have done it.
About five weeks ago I got very weak. I don't know what was the matter
with me-probably general debility from grief and mental suffering. My boarders, seeing my condition, aided me freely and were very kind to me.
I resolved to leave his house, packed up my clothes and instructed ax auctioneer two weeks ago to take away the furniture and sell it, as a part of it was my
own, and I thought I was entitled to the rest. The suit commenced has been
instituted by my attorneys, who have every confidence that I can obtain alimony;
but whether I do or not I think the world should know Brigham Young as he is,
and my story is a page of his biography.
This is the story of Eliza-Ann- told in her own words.
She is the only wife whom Brigham has not supported; but
she has been allowed to keep Gentile boarders. I suppose
Brother Young had saome reason when he made this exception.
"MISS" ELIZA R. SNOW.
[Number Sixteen.]
"Miss" Eliza R. Snow I mention here as I have not followed the order of date.  She and the three ladies, whose
names I shall presently give, are the proxy wives of Brigham,
living with him. Eliza-Ann, who has become notorious of
288 
THE HIGH-PRIESTESS OF THE SAINTS.
late, is popularly known as his nineteenth wife.  She is his
nineteenth living wife and the last-wedded, according to date;
but, if the deceased wives were taken into consideration, she
might perhaps be about the thirtieth. In this list I have put
all the living wives who are sealed to Brigham "for eternity,"
first; and thus I count Eliza-Ann number fifteen; but had I
placed the proxy wives,-who are only Brigham's "for time,"
in the list, she would, of course, be the nineteenth.   The
newspapers which have written her into notoriety know nothing of " proxy" and "spiritual" wives.  All are alike to them.
Eliza Roxy Snow, is always spoken of among the Saints as
I.Viss Eliza R. Snow. I have already mentioned her, and need
therefore only add that Eliza is the high-priestess and poetgeneral of the Church; she is highly thought of by the Saints,
and the year before last was one of a company of Mormon
missionaries who visited the Holy Land, for the purpose of
consecrating it to the Lord. Last summer she travelled
through the settlements in Utah, urging the women to enter
into the "Celestial Order."  She is only a proxy wife to Brigham, and will belong to Joseph Smith in the resurrection.
ZINA D. HUNTINGTON JACOBS YOUNG.
[Number Seventeen.]
Zina D. Huntington Jacobs Young is another proxy wife,
and a widow of the Prophet Joseph. She, too, will have to be
handed over in the day of reckoning. She has one grown up
daughter, of whom I shall presently speak under rather interesting - circumstances.
EMILY PARTRIDGE YOUNG.
[Number Eighteen.]
Emily Partridge Young is a tall, dark-eyed, handsome
woman, and she also is a "proxy" wife-a relict of Joseph.
When Joseph died, Brigham told his wives that they were at
liberty to choose whom they would for husbands; and some
of them showed their appreciation of his generosity by choosing him himself. Thus it was that Emily Partridge became
I8
289
m 
THE CHILDREN OF THE PROPHET.
Brigham's wife. The Prophet has dealt kindly to his brother
Joseph Smith, through her, for she has quite a family of
children to be handed over with her. She was young and
handsome when the Prophet died, but perhaps it would be
wrong to suppose that that had anything to do with Brigham's
generosity to his brother, for it is generally believed that he
took all those wives of Joseph, from pure principle.
AUGUSTA COBB YOUNG.
[Number Nineteen.]
Augusta Cobb Young is a very fine-looking woman and
must have been quite handsome in her youthful days. As I
before stated, she formerly lived in Boston, but hearing Brigham preach, she fell in love with him, abandoned her home,
children, and husband, and, taking her youngest child with
her, went to Salt Lake City, and was married to the Prophett.
It was she who, when Brigham began to neglect her, wanted
to be sealed to Christ, but was ultimately added to the kingdom
of Joseph Smith.
Now these are the Prophet's wives-his real, living wivesnineteen in all. How many spiritual wives he has had it
would be impossible to say. Probably he himself does not
know their number. Lately, I believe, he has been making
his will, and, if so, I suppose he has "taken count of all." He
has besides in various parts of Utah many other wives, who
are all more or less provided for, but they are of little account,
and he seldom or never sees them. The nineteen whom I
have named form his family at home, as I may say-are all
under his own roof, or at least they live in Salt Lake City, and
are known to every one as his wives. The number of his
children it would be very difficult to estimate. I can count
up by name'between forty and fifty, and I think the Prophet's
livinzg children are rather under the latter figure. His family
has however been much diminished by death, though since I
went to Utah this has not been the case so much as I believe
it was formerly. One Mormon writer-a very reliable and
trustworthy man-says that the children that the Prophet has
290 
A GENTILE STORY OF BROTHER BRIGHAM.
lost would fill a fair-sized graveyard.. This very probably may
be true, as in the early days of the settlement in Utah, priva tion and the lack of proper medical attendance must have
constantly proved fatal to the young children of the Saints.
But it was before my time, and therefore I cannot speak from
personal experience.
A Mormon gentleman one day told me a very funny story
in reference to the Prophet and his little family. He said that
he had just had occasion to call in at a store in Main street, to
make some purchases, when Brigham himself came in and
entered into conversation with him. A smart-looking, clever
little boy entered the store a few minutes after and handed a
note to the proprietor. Brother Brigham seemed to be greatly
interested in the child, and asked him several questions in a
playful way. Turning at length to my informant he said:
"That's a nice boy, Brother. Whose child is it?"  This
was a very awkward question, for the gentleman was aware
that the child was one of Brigham's own. He did not like to
tell him so, so he replied indirectly, "He's one of Mrs.....
Young's children, President." The Prophet looked somewhat
amused, but did not utter a word in reply. 
I give this story only for what it is worth and no more.
The gentleman who told it doubtless expected to be believed;
but knowing the Prophet and his family, as I do, I consider
the statement exaggerated, to say the least It is a heavy
responsibility to have five and forty children-most of them
girls, too-without being accused of forgetting their personality altogether.
In his habits and mode of living, Brigham Young is very
simple, or at least was so until recently. When I first knew
him he dressed in plain, homespun, homemade, and every
article about his person and his houses, was as plain and
unostentatious as could possibly be. But the importation of
Gentiles and Gentile goods, since the opening of the railway,
has worked a great change. His wives who once carried simplicity of dress almost to the verge of dowdyism, have now
acquired a taste for Eastern fashions, and I think if Brigham
291 
BRIGHAM YOUNG AT HOME.
were a younger man and were likely to live another ten years
he would find that.wives were more expensive luxuries now
than they were in the era of "dug-outs" and sun-bonnets.
The Prophet's first home in Utah was a little cottage which
is now known as the White House.-The same house, I
believe, which was valued at sixty thousand dollars, and which
Brother Tenant supposed he bought: -a more scandalous and
barefaced robbery never was perpetrated.
This on the hill-side, north of the Eagle Gate, and is now
the residence of his first wife, Mrs. Angell Young. The BeeHive House is the official residence of Brother Brigham.
There he used to reign supreme as "Governor" Young; and
thence he now issues secular and ecclesiastical edicts to all who
acknowledge his sway. There is one lady resident in this
house- Mrs. Lucy Decker Young-and no one else is permitted to intrude upon its privacy. Here the prophet has his
own private bedroom, and here he breakfasts when he has
been at home over night.
The Lion House is what ought to be the home of the
Prophet, for here nearly all his wives reside. He has, however,
many other houses in the city. On the basement floor, the
dining-room, kitchen, pantry, and other general offices. The
first floor is divided by a long passage with doors on each side.
On the right hand, about half a dozen wives with small families find accommodation. On the left, at the entrance, is the
parlor, and the other rooms on that side are occupied by
mothers with larger families, and ladies who have a little more
than ordinary attention. The upper floor is divided into twenty
square bedrooms.
There is no extravagance in the furniture or apparel of these
wives, but they are comfortable and are kept neat and clean.
Again and again, the Prophet has declared that the ten-dollar
fees which are obtained from the divorces provide his wives
with pin-money. I do not believe a word of this, as the
amount thus obtained is far more than the avaricious soul of
the Prophet would allow to pass out of his hands for feminine
vanities. But I know of another source-of income which is
292 
INSIDE THE LION HOUSE.
open to the wives. They are allowed all the fruit- peaches
especially- which they or their children, can gather or dry.
This, in fact, is pretty nearly their only "pin-money:" their
"lord" is not a generous man, and they have to make the most
of trifles.
The Prophet usually dines in the Lion House at three in
the afternoon. Mrs. Twiss Young, as I mentioned before,
acts the part of housekeeper, and she acts it well. At three
punctually the bell rings and the mothers with their children
move down to the dining room. They are all seated at a very
long table which is lengthened by turning round at the end of
the room. Each mother has her children around her. Brigham sits at the head of the table, with his favorite-when at
home-vis-a-vis, or on his left, and if a visitor is present he
sits at the Prophet's right hand. The repast is frugal but
ample, for Brigham is a sober and exceedingly economical
man. This is the first time he sees his family. In the evening at seven o'clock the bell again rings, and the mothers'and
the children again fill the sides and end of the parlor. When
they are all seated, the patriarch enters, takes his seat at the
table and chats quietly with those who chance to go in with
him to prayers. When all the members of the family ae
assembled, the door is closed. All kneel down and the
Prophet prays, invoking special blessings upon Zion and "the
kingdom." This is the last that his family see of him for the
day, unless they have occasion to seek him privately.
With his family Brother Brigham is said to be kind; but it
is supposed to be more the awe which his position as Prophet
inspires, than the love which they bear him as a man which
renders him successful in managing them. At the same time,
that sweet familiarity is destroyed which should exist between
husband and wife, father and children.  With such a number
of wives, he cannot possibly wait upon them in visiting, and
in the ball-room, and other places of amusement. With the
exception of his reigning favorite, whoever for the time she
may happen to be, no one expects his attentions. At the
theatre a full number of seats are reserved, and his wives
z93 
BOYISHNESS OF THE PROPHET.
attend, or remain at home, as they please. They sit in the
body of the parquette, among the rest of the people; but onc
of the two proscenium boxes is reserved for him, and beside
him is a chair for the favorite Amelia.
When he goes to the ball, the same special attention is shown.
He dances first with the favorite, and, if half a dozen more
of his wives have accompanied them, he will dance with each
of them once in the course of the evening; but with the
favorite he dances as frequently as any youth in the ball-room
with his first maiden love. The Apostles and leading men of
the community, who dance attendance on him and desire his
favor, are sure to seek the pleasure of her hand and place her
in the same cotillion with Brigham, who is thus able all the
evening to enjoy her company.
Some of the Apostles and Elders look with pain upon this
boyishness of the Prophet, and deplore it. Many of them are
attached to their first wives, and have shown them consideration and attention which has not always pleased Brother
Brigham. I have heard more than one of them express a wish
that the Prophet had been a little more attentive to his own
first wife.  It is only fair to Amelia-the reigning favoriteto state that she has always been kind and respectful to Mrs.
Angell Young.
Up to within the last few years the community heard
nothing of the Prophet's family but what was strictly decorous
and creditable. If there was any wrong-doing it must have
been very effectually hidden from the knowledge of outside
observers. His wives are kind and faithful mothers, seeking
to live their religion and ambitious to increase the glory of
their Lord. I know them all personally- some of them intimately; and, while I have heard from some, with heavy hearts,
of their difficulties in bearing "/te cross" which all Mormon
women have to sustain, they have tried, I know, to be submissive, and I think it due to them that I should make this
present recognition of their goodness of disposition and purity
of soul.
294 
CHAPTER XXI.
THE ORIGIN OF "THE REFORMATION":-EXTRAORDINARY
DOINGS OF THE SAINTS.
Some Peculiar Mormon Doctrines-The Faith of the Saints-Extraordinary
Ideas of Sacred Subjects-Polytheism Taught-Preexistence of the Soul Assisting the Spirits to Emigrate-" The Body that Shall Be "-The Origin
of the Devil-Brigham's Adam Deity-" Kolob" -the Sun of Suns-Father
Adam Descends to Eden-The Grades of the Priesthood-Place and Position
in the Church-Obedience the Cardinal Virtue-Patriarchal Blessings-How
an Ancient Dame Sold Her Petticoats to Buy a Blessing-The Thin End of
the Wedge-Terrible Doings in Missouri-Mormon Politics-The Avenging
Angels-Origin of the "Danites "-Whisperings of Dark Deeds-The
Bearded "Daughters" of Zion-Brigham's Threat-The "Death Society" The Prophet Smith Murdered-" Milking the Gentiles"-" Whittling an
Apostate "-Treasonable Speeches and Practices-Brigham as Governor of
Utah-Great Excitement in Salt Lake City-A Crisis.
FROM time to time, in the course of this narrative, I have
had occasion to allude to a certain period of extraordinary fanatical excitement among the Saints in Utah,-a
period which was there popularly termed "The Reformation;"
and I think that a brief sketch of the terrible sayings and
doings of that time, and the causes which led to them, may
be interesting to the reader and may help to explain much
which to a Gentile must otherwise be very obscure.
The popular idea of Mormonism is that the peculiar feature
which distinguishes it from all other Christian sects is Polygamy. To a certain extent this is, of course, true; but it is
only a partial statement of the truth. If Polygamy were to
be relinquished, it would still be found that Mormonism had
really very little in common with other sects, and very much
that was completely antagonistic to them. 
SOME PECULIAR MORMON DOCTRINES.
The confession of faith published by Joseph Smith during
his life-time would certainly deceive an uninitiated person; and
it was in consequence of the ambiguity of that very document
that so many unsuspecting persons were from the beginning
of Mormonism led astray by the teachings of the Mission aries. The convert was told that the Mormon faith pro claimed the existence of one true God, but he was not told
that Father Adam was that deity, and that He is "like a
well-to-do farmer." He was told that Christ was the Son of
God, but he was not taught that the Virgin Mary was "the
lawful wife of God the Father," and that "He intended after
the resurrection to take her again, as one of His own wives, to
raise up immortal spirits in eternity. He was told of faith in
a Saviour, he was not told that men were the only saviours
of their wives, and that unless a woman pleased her husband
and was obedient and was saved by himi, she could not be
saved at all. He was told that the Saints believed in the
Holy Ghost, but he was not told that "The Holy Ghost is a
man; he is one of the sons of our Father and our God...
You think our Father and our God is not a lively, sociable, and
cheerful man; He is one of the most lively men that ever lived!"
And yet, although such fearful and shocking blashemy
was, of course, hidden from the convert whom it was desirable
to impress with the idea that Mormonism was only a development of Christianity, it was openly taught in the sermons in
the Tabernacle before thousands of people, and inculcated in
the writing of the highest authorities. The passages, which I
have just quoted, were preached in public, were taken down in
short-hand, were revised under the superintendence of
Brigham Young or one of the chief leaders, were then
printed, and published in Salt Lake City, and afterwards
reprinted in another form.
The verbal repetition of such blasphemy as this would be
simply painful and disgusting to any right-minded person. I
shall therefore endeavor to give an idea of some Qf these
outrageous doctrines without entering too closely into details.
Should the reader, however, wish to search and see for him
296 
POLYTHEISM AMONG THE SAINTS.
self, I refer him to the yournals of Discourses, the files of the
Church papers, and the publications of the Mormon writers
generally.
One of the first innovations upon the received faith of
ordinary Christians was the doctrine of Polytheism. There
can be no doubt that, even in Joseph's time, that doctrine was
taught, although, as in the case of Polygamy, all knowledge
of it was kept from every one but the initiated-the "strong
men" who could be entrusted with the inner secrets of the
Church leaders. That such a doctrine, however, was beginning, even then, to form part of the faith of the Saints, may
be seen in the following lines upon the occasion of the
Prophet's murder:
. "Unchanged in death, with a Saviours love,
He pleads their cause in the courts above.
"His home's in the sky, he dwells with the Gods,
Far from the furious rage of mobs!
"He died! he died for those he loved;
He reigns!  He reigns in the realms above."
Many other instances, even stronger than this, could easily
be given.
The Mormon idea of the other world, while in some respects
it differed from the teachings of certain modern "Spiritualists"
was not altogether dissimilar. The soul was said to be
immortal, and it had three stages of existence. The first was
purely spiritual-the state of the soul before it came into this
world. Spirits in that condition were not perfect, they must
first take a fleshly body, and pass through the trials of life,
before they could attain to the highest state of existence.
Hence it was a solemn duty, as well as their highest privilege,
for men to practice Polygamy:-their duty, as by this means,
and by this alone, the yet imperfect souls now waiting to
come into this world could ever hope to be admitted into the
"Celestial Kingdom; "-and a privilege,-as all the souls whom
they thus assisted to emigrate would form their own "Kingdoms" in eternity, over which as kings and priests they
would reign for ever and ever
297 
THE MORMON "PLANS OF SALVATION."
The second stage of the soul's existence is the mortal;
with which we all are sadly well acquainted. The third is
the condition subsequent to the Resurrection, when they
believe the flesh and bones will form the raised body, but the
blood will not be there; for the blood is the principle of
corrupt life, and therefore another spirit supplies its place in
heaven. That Christ partook of some broiled fish and part of
a honeycomb is evident from Holy Scripture:-the Mormons
therefore teach that heaven will be very much the same as
earth, only considerably improved. We shall not marry there
or be given in marriage; hence it is necessary for us to
marry here, and to marry as much as we can, for then in
heaven a man will take the wives whom he married on earth,
or who have been sealed to him by proxy; they will be his
queens, and their children will be his subjects. We shall eat,
and drink, and feast, and spend a happy time generally. We
shall henceforth never die-hence we shall ourselves be
gods!
It was in the preexistent state, the Mormons teach, that the
work of salvation was first planned-but not after the fashion
believed by all Christians. A grand celestial council was
held, at which all the Sons of God appeared. Miclfael, the
father of all, presided, and stated that he proposed to create a
new world, of which he proceeded to give some details. His
first-begotten then arose, and made a speech, in which he
proposed that Michael, his father, should go down to the
world, when created, with Eve, his mother, and do there much
after the fashion of what is related of our first parents in the
book of Genesis; he himself would descend some thousands
of years subsequently, and would lead his erring brethren
back, and save them from their sins. Lucifer, the second son,
then stood forth and unfolded his plan. Jealous of the
popularity of his elder brother, he proposed to save men izn
their sins.
Great discussion ensued, in which the unnumbered family
of heaven divided into three parties,-one under each of the
two elder sons, and the third standing neutral.  After a ter
298 
THE ORIGIN OF THE DEVIL, THE NEGRO, AND THE WORLD.  299
rible conflict, Lucifer, the second son was defeated, and, with
all his followers, was driven out of heaven. They descended
into the abyss, where they founded the infernal kingdom, of
which Lucifer became the chief:-he was henceforth known
as the Devil. Adam created his world, and carried out his
part of the plan; and in due time the eldest son, who conquered in heaven, took upon him the form of flesh, dwelt
among men, and was known as their Redeemer. The spirits
who stood neutral during the fight subsequently took upon
them forms of flesh, entering into the children of Ham, and
were known as Negroes. Therefore it is, that although the
American Indians and all other races are eligible for the
Mormon priesthood, the negro alone can never attain to that
high dignity.
It is only natural, amidst all this confusion of ideas, to ask,
Who then is the real Originator of created things?
In the eternity of matter, the Mormons have from the first
believed; but they have supposed that the formation of
worlds and systems had definite dates, although they are
unknown to us. Far away in the immensity of space is
"KOLOB "-the great and glorious sun of suns, the abode of
the First Principle of Godhead of which we can form ant
conception.   Around  that  Sun, countless  other  systems
revolve, of which ours is one. That Sun itself may be only
one of many other systems whose origin and existence is lost
in inconceivable space, and concerning which we can form no
just realisation while in this finite state. From the First
Source in "KOLOB" other gods have proceeded in precisely
the same way as genealogies and  family-trees" have been
continued on earth.  Each new Patriarchal "god" has formed
his own earth out of the aggregation of matter; and over that
earth he reigns.
On the 9th of April, I852, Brigham Young publicly
announced that
"When our father Adam came into the Garden of Eden, he came into it with
a celestial body, and brought Eve, one of his wives, with him. lie helped to
make and organise this world. He is Michael the Archangel, the Ancient of 
300 BRIGHAM PUBLICLY TEACHES THAT ADAM IS GOD.
Days, about whom holy men have written and spoken. He is our' Father and
our God,' and the only god with whom we have to do."
This public declaration gave great offence and led to the
apostacy of many. Nevertheless Brigham Young thinks that
just as Adam came down to Eden and subsequently became
a god, in like manner he also himself will attain to the godhead. Heber C. Kimball, zealous to go a step further
declared that Brigham was "God," and that he, Kimball,
stood towards him in the same relation as the Third Person
in the Blessed Trinity does towards the First.
It will hence be seen that subordination is one of the first
principles of the Mormon faith, and this even in the Church
organisation of the Saints has been distinctively shown. For
the purposes for which it exists the Mormon hierarchy could
not be surpassed. Of the Priesthood there are two ordersthe Melchisedec and the Aaronic; of which the former ranks
first and highest. The lowest rank in the Church is the
"Deacon;" he looks after the places of meeting, takes up
collections, and attends to other similar duties. Next comes
the "Teacher";-he visits the Saints and takes note of their
standing-and reports the same: -weakness of faith or backwardness in paying tithing is never overlooked by hirr. After
him is the "Priest," and above him is the Elder whose office
it is to preach, baptize and lay on hands. All these belong to
the order of the Aaronic-or the Levitical priesthood.
"Bishops" are simply Church officers having local jurisdiction.
The lowest grade in the Melchisedec Priesthood is the
"Elder." He administers in all the ordinances of the Church.
Above him there is no higher rank as respects the priesthood,
but in respect to office there are various gradations, as, for
example, the "High Priests," the "Seventies," and "Bishops"
who occupy positions of authority, although both go on mission, and also the Apostles. The "Apostles" were chosen in
imitation of the "Twelve" appointed by Christ; and in the
same way the "Seventies," in imitation of the seventy
disciples sent forth to preach and work miracles. They claim
rank next to the Twelve. The "Quorum of the Apostles" is 
THE FIRST PRESIDENCY AND THE PATRIARCH.    30I
presided over by the eldest of their number; the "Quorums
of Seventies" are each composed of seventy Elders with a
"President" and six "Counsellors." The number of "quorums"
is unlimited; and over them all collectively is another president and six counsellors.
The highest authority in the Church is the "First Presidency"-the three members of which at present are Brigham
Young, George A. Smith, and Daniel H. Wells,-who are
said to represent on earth the three Persons of the Blessed
Trinity!
As, from "President" Young down to the most illiterate
"Elder," every one is supposed to be specially inspired, and to
be immediately guided by the gift of the Holy Ghost, education is utterly unnecessary to the members of the Mormon
Priesthood; in fact it has always been looked upon as an
impediment to its possessor. Obedience is considered the
highest qualification, and it was the strict enforcement of
obedience on the part of the ordinary people and the lower
grades of the Priesthood towards the higher that alone could
have made possible that state of affairs which existed during
the "Reformation."  Hence also it is that Brigham Young
and the leaders are rightly held responsible for the deeds ol
violence and fanaticism which their followers may perpetrate;
for it is well known that no Mormon, in a matter of grave
importance, would dare to act upon his own responsibility and
without he felt sure that what he did would meet with the
approbation of those in authority.
There is another class of Church-officer which I had very
nearly forgotten-the Patriarchs. The chief of these is called
"The Presiding Patriarch over the Church";  the rest are
,'Patriarchs in the Church." The office of these dignitaries
is to bless the people and to be paid for their blessings. The
price of good blessings is variable. Not long ago, when money
was scarce and payments were made in produce, two dollars
was considered reasonable; and if several were wanted for the
same family, a reduction was made.  Hyrum Smith, the original Prophet's eldest brother, was the first Patriarch; and to 
302     AN OLD LADY WHO VALUED A BLESSING.
him succeeded "Uncle John," as he was popularly called-the
eldest brother of Brigham;-the present Patriarch is the son
of Hyrum; still a young man, who obtained his office by
inheritance-and this, I believe, is about the only office in the
Church which Brother Brigham has permitted the Smith family
to inherit or enjoy.
Odd as it may seem, some of the people have quite a passion
for these "blessings."  I knew one old Frenchwoman who was
said, like the woman in the parable, in respect to the physicians, to have "spent all of her living upon them."  I met her
one day with a flannel-petticoat under her arm, which she was
going to sell. Upon enquiry she frankly told me that she had
given her last cent and had sold every scrap of any value which
she possessed, and very nearly all her clothes, in order to
obtain " blessings," and as she did not understand English she
was now going to sell her old petticoat-the very last article
of any value which she now possessed-to pay an old dame,
who knew a little English, for her services in translating the
"blessings." She was in a state of great sorrow at the thought
that now her supply of blessings would be stopped-she would
have to do without.
The Patriarchs, however, at no time possessed any particular
personal or official weight, and from them never proceeded any
of those strange doctrines which excited the people to violence
and bloodshed. In a religious sense this outrageous fanaticism was all originated in the first place in Missouri by some
of the more prominent men, such as Sidney Rigdon, Dr. Avard,
David Patten, and others, doubtless with the connivance of the
Prophet Joseph, not long after the organisation of the Church;
and subsequently by the extreme and preposterous doctrines
constantly inculcated by Brigham Young and some of the
leading Elders, among whom Jedediah M. Grant and Heber
C. Kimball were the most conspicuous. In a political sense
it was the natural result of the peculiar position of the Saints
in Missouri, Ohio, and Illinois, and of the ridiculous threats of
Brigham Young against the Federal Government, after the
exodus of the Mormons to Salt Lake Valley, together with the 
THE KINGDOM OF THE SAINTS ON EARTH.
idea which had become popular among the people, that a
temporal "kingdom" was to be set up among the Rocky
Mountains, and that Christ should personally reign and rule
there.
The idea of reviving the old Jewish polity was always uppermost in the minds of the first teachers. Hence they revived
the Priesthood and High-priesthood in their various forms; a
magnificent temple was built in Nauvoo, just as another temple
is now being erected at Salt Lake City; and so far did they
go that it was even determined that the ancient sacrifices
should eventually be restored. At the same time, while the
minds of the Mormons, newly-converted and fired with zeal,
were bent upon founding the Kingdom of the Saints on earth,
the people of Missouri, among whom they dwelt, heard that
even in social life the customs of the Jews were to be introduced, and that Polygamy was to be practiced. Husbands
and brothers trembled for their wives and sisters, and the
hatred to the new religion was increased when it was observed
that the Mormons in every political movement held all together
and voted as one man, thus exercising an influence which no
ordinary religious sect could have possessed or wielded; this,
the discipline of the hierarchy, to which I have already referred,
enabled them to do.
Ill-feeling was shown on both sides; in a thousand petty
ways at first, with more serious results presently. The Mormons were accused of circulating large quantities of base coin,
of cheating and defrauding the Gentiles, as they called everyone-even Jews-who rejected the new religion, and of even
being guilty of darker crimes;-which last charge, however,
was at first only hinted at. On the other hand, the Mormons
accused their enemies of every possible villainy of which men
and women  could be guilty.  The real fact would appear to
be that both the Mormons and their enemies were at that
time guilty of much wrong-doing against each other, while, at
the same time, much that was alleged on both sides was utterly
groundless, and only originated in the natural jealousy which
Western pioneers-rough-and-ready frontiers-men, such as
-303 
304    "THE AVENGING ANGELS":-" THE DANITES."
the people of those parts then were- would naturally feel
when enlisted in two parties, animated by religious and political hatred against each other.
Now came whisperings of still more atrocious deeds. It
was alleged that, among the Mormons, a secret body of men
had been chosen, who were enrolled, under the most frightful
oaths, to avenge every wrong which might be perpetrated
against the Saints. This band was said to have originated
with' Sidney Rigdon and Dr. Sampson Avard, and, as I have
somewhere else mentioned, Thomas B. Marsh and Hyde the
present chief of the Apostles both made affidavit that such
was the case, and that the band was sworn to commit the
most shocking acts of vengeance,-and surely Marsh and
Hyde ought to know.  Various names were chosen for this
"death society."  First the members were called Daughters
of Zion [from Micah iv. I 3.]  But as it sounded rather ridiculous to speak of bearded ruffians as'daughters,' that name
was abandoned, and the title "Avenging Angels" substituted;
and that, with some other names then temporarily used, were
subsequently dropped for the name "Danites" [friom Genesis
xlix. I7,] which has since been retained;-not by the Mormons, for they have ever denied the existence of any such
band, but by the Gentiles.
It matters very little what the name of such a society might
be, so long as it existed at all; and that it does, and has, existed in some form cannot reasonably be denied.  There probably is not at the present time any formally enrolled society,
but it is quite certain that for many years past if "The
Church" had only dropped a hint that any man's blood
ought to be shed, that man would have had a very short
tenure of his life. Even Brigham himself said publicly:
"If men come here and do not behave themselves, they will not only find the
Danites, whom they talk so much about, biting the horses' heels, but the scoundrels will find something biting their heels. In my plain remarks I simply call
things by their own names."
It is beyond a doubt that, notwithstanding all the social
changes and improvements of late years, the secret police of 
SAINTLY NOTIONS OF THE RIGHTS OF PROPERTY.   305
Salt Lake City are in matters of crime, as well as infact,
though not perhaps nominally, the successors of the original
"death society;"-many of its members are known to have
committed grievous crimes and to have repeatedly dyed their
hands in blood. The shocking deeds that every now and then
are divulged to the world are all of their doing, and no resident of Salt Lake City, whether Mormon or Gentile, although
he might prudently decline to state his opinions, would in his
mind question the fact that it is fear of consequences, and only
because the Saints are "on their good behavior" in the sight
of the Federal Government, that the hands of these wretches
are withheld from a continuance of their old enormities.
As might be supposed, the establishment of a secret band
of men professedly ready at a moment to steal, to shed blood,
or commit any crime at the command of their leaders created
great excitement in the whole State of Missouri, and especially
in the vicinity of the Mormon Settlements.
Like the Ishmaelites of old, the hands of the Saints were
against every man, and every man's hand was against them.
They were taught that they were "a chosen nation, a royal
priesthood, a peculiar people "-the "Sword of the Lord and
of Gideon" was to be theirs; they were to go forth conquering
and to conquer; and the Gentiles were to be trodden down
beneath their feet.
As might be expected, trouble immediately arose; the people
of Missouri outraged the Mormons, and the Mormons in return
outraged them. Murders, thefts, and the most shameful
atrocities were of daily occurrence, and the history of those
terrible doings would fill a good-sized volume. Suffice it to say,
that the excitement continued and increased, reprisals being
made on both sides; finally the mob was triumphant, and after
committing many fearful excesses it was organised into a
militia-the leading men in authority declaring that the Mormons must either leave the State or else they must be extirpated by the sword.
Notwithstanding all this, the Mormons, at all times an
industrious people, were in one sense successful and prosper
I9 
" WHITTLING OUT" A GENTILE.
ous; the morality, however, of some of their leading men was
to say the least very questionable. It was openly argued that
the silver and gold were the Lord's, and so were the cattle on
a thousand hills. The Scripture says that God has given his
people all things richly to enjoy. The Saints were the people
of God — He had given them all the wealth and substance of
the earth, and therefore it was no sin for them to help themselves-they were but taking their own. To over-reach or
defraud their enemies was facetiously called by the Mormons
"milking the Gentiles."
Their city called Nauvoo-The Beautiful,-a name given
by the Prophet Joseph and supposed to be of celestial origin,
was well laid out and well built, a costly Temple was nearly
complete, and the leaders, at least, began to show signs
of wealth and prosperity. This however was but the lull
before the storm. Writs upon various charges against Joseph
and the leading Elders had always been floating about, and
the serving of some of the later ones had only been prevented
by technical difficulties or the personal fears of the Sheriff.
To enter Nauvoo for the purpose of arresting the Prophet was
like bearding the lion in his den; for by this time one of the
best-equipped and best-drilled militia regiments under the
name of the Nauvoo Legion had been organised, and Joseph
had been elected Lieutenant-General. The regiment consisted solely of well-tried Mormons who were devotedly
attached to their leader; besides which, the whole of the
population of the city was at his call at a moment's notice.
Into the city of the Saints, as far as was possible to prevent
it, no Gentile was allowed to intrude. It was at risk of life
and property that any one ventured. One oddly original
mode of driving out the devoted stranger is worthy of mention
-it was called "whittling a man out of the town!"  Opposite the victim's door a number of men and overgrown boys
would take up their quarters-each armed with a stout stick
of wood and a huge knife. No sooner did the Gentile appear
than the whole horde gathered in a circle round him. Not a
word was uttered, but each man grasping firmly his stick in
3o6 
THE APOTHEOSIS OF THE PROPHET JOSEPH.
his left hand, pointed its other end to within a few inches of
the victim's face, while with the knife in his right hand he
sliced a shaving out of the wood in such a way as to bring the
point of the knife almost against the face of the unfortunate
man. Wherever he turned they attended him, always preserv ing the strictest silence, and never actually touching him.
The intolerable sensation caused by the "whittling" of this
strange body-guard-who were in attendance day and night and the unpleasantness of seeing half a score of sharp knives
flashing perpetually within an inch of his nose generally subdued the strongest-minded Gentile-few could endure it for
more than a day or so at the utmost: they were glad to leave
" Whittled out of the town!"
The evil day, however, at last came.  The Prophet, fearing arrest, fled, but was persuaded to return and deliver
himself up. The charge against him was one for which
reasonable bail could be taken: bail was offered, accepted,
and the prisoners discharged. Before leaving court, however, the Prophet and his brother Hyrum, the Patriarch,
were arrested upon a trumped-up charge of treason-a charge
for which it was impossible that bail should be taken; they
were therefore committed to custody in Carthage jail, under
solemn promise from Governor Ford of Illinois that the
State should be answerable for their personal protection.
The same day, however, a mob of over one hundred men,
assisted, it is said, by the militia who were left in charge,
burst into the jail and assassinated the Prophet and his
brother.
As might be supposed this outrage by no means weakened
the Mormon cause-their Prophet was now a martyr, and his
name more powerful after death than it could possibly have
been had he lived. It was, however, clearer than ever that
nothing could now reconcile the people of Illinois to the
Mormons, and the latter seriously began to think of leaving
that State in a body as they had formerly left Missouri.
The terrible doings of those times I have no idea of relating just now-I simply allude to them in order that the reader
307 
308     "ZION' IN SALT LAKE VALLEY FOUNDED.
may understand how, in the excitement produced in that
border-warfare, it was possible for such strange events as
afterwards transpired in Utah to originate. I may simply add,
that the Temple being completed, and the first "Endowments" given there, the people gathered up what little property they could rescue from the mob, and under the guidance of Brigham Young, and amidst privations, sufferings,
and outrages of the most painful character, left the city which
they had founded in Illinois and set out for the Rocky Mountains, where, beside the Great Salt Lake, they founded their
modern Zion.
Free now from the violence of mobs and Gentile enmity, it
might have been supposed that the hatred which had so long
been part of the Mormon faith would have died a natural
death. The contrary, however, was the case. The Mexican
war was then raging, and, en route to the Rocky Mountains,
the Mormons had received a proposal from the Federal
Government that they should supply a regiment, upon highly
advantageous conditions, to join the United States troops
which were then operating in California. This suggestion
was kindly made, for it was thought that the Mormon regiment thus raised would in reality be only marching their own
way in going to California, and that the outfits, pay, arms, &c.,
which were to be theirs, after the year for which they were
enrolled had expired, would be of essential service to them.
It was like paying men liberally for making a journey for
their own benefit.
Notwithstanding all this, Brigham Young and the leaders
represented the transaction in quite another light, and the
people were taught that an engagement, into which they had
entered of their own free will, and from which they had
derived substantial advantages, was an act of heartless cruelty
and despotic tyranny on the part of the Government. This
feeling was fostered, until at length the Saints as a body
regarded themselves as a wronged and outraged people, and
considered every Gentile-in fact the whole nation as their
natural enemies. This was perhaps all the more singular, 
TROUBLOUS TIMES AMONG THE MORMONS.
since, after the vast tract of country, of which Utah forms a
part, had, at the end of the war, been wrested from Mexico,
Brigham Young had been appointed by President Millard
Fillmore the first Governor and Indian Agent of, the territory; he was therefore in Federal pay, and bound, as long as
he retained office, to support the Government, or at the very
least not to stir up disaffection.
Trouble soon arose between Governor Young and the
Mormons on one side and the Judges and United States
courts and officials on the other. Once an armed mob burst
into the Supreme Court, and forced the Judge then sitting to
adjourn; at another time a bonfire was made of the books and
papers of the District Courts; then a Judge on the bench
was threatened with personal outrage; and subsequently a
posse summoned by legal (!) process "encamped" for a whole
fortnight over against another posse summoned without legal
process, the two bodies burning with bitter hatred and breathing out threatenings and slaughter. Such a state of affairs
could not, of course, last long. On the one side the wildest
statements were publicly made against the Government;
threats which uttered by a little band of pioneers against a
mighty nation were perfectly ridiculous, stirred up the hearts
of the Saints. On the other hand it was pretty certain that
Federal troops would have to be sent out to Utah to preserve
the peace of the Territory. The Federal Government was
nevertheless defied, abused, and derided, and the people,
thoroughly blinded by their fanaticism, did not for a moment
doubt that should Governor Young "declare war" the United
States troops would vanish before the "Armies" of the Saints
like chaff upon the threshing-floor. So absurd does all this
appear that I should really hardly venture to repeat it were it
not that every one in Utah-Mormon and Gentile-knows
that I am really understating facts rather than otherwise.
Now came a crisis in Mormon history, for which all these
wild sayings and unlawful doings had been so long paving the
way:- "THE REFORMATION" was destined to be the crowning
point of Saintly folly and Saintly sin.
309 
CHAPTER XXII.
THE "REIGN OF TERROR" IN UTA I:-THE REFORMATION
OF THE SAINTS.
Days of Trouble in the Valley-Shedding Innocent Blood-What is Murder?
About Killing a Cat-Better than Their Faith-Cutting Throats for Love The Deeds of the Apostle "Jeddy "-The Celebrated Mule-The Saints
Accused-Missionaries Called Home-Their Consciences Accuse Them! The Blood-Atonement-What was Said in the Tabernacle-Terrible Doctrines
Taught-Brigham a "God"!-Fearful Blasphemy of Brigham Young-The
Shedding of Blood-" Righteously  Murdered-The Principles of Eternity Deeds of Darkness-A "Saint" Murders Itis Wife-A Terrible Story-How
Children Were Married-A Petticoat on a Fence-Pole-A Scarcityof Un married Girls-Obeying "Counsel"-Propositions of Marriage-A Trifling
Mistake-Stubborn Facts and Figures-The Most Fearful Deed of All.
THE  people were now thoroughly excited.  Their religious
antipathy, their political hatred-two of the most powerful passions which move individuals or bodies of men-had
been appealed to, and both in public and private they had
been stirred up to a pitch of frenzy which it is hardly possible
at the present time to comprehend.
There were whisperings now of a most fearful doctrine,
calculated not only to strike terror into the hearts of those
whose faith was weakening, but even to shock with a sense
of horror those who only heard of it from afar-I mean the
doctrine of the BLOOD ATONEMENT.
The Saints had all along been taught to distinguish between
murder and the shedding of innocent blood-the former being 
THE " UNPARDONABLE SIN" DEFINED.
spoken of as a crime for which atonement might be made,
but for the latter there was no repentance on earth-it was
an unpardonable sin.  They were also taught to distinguish
carefully between sins which might be forgiven, and sins for
which'pardon was impossible. Now the difference between
murder and shedding innocent blood is this:-the latter is the
crime of killing a Saint, which can never be forgiven, but by
the death of the transgressor; but the former is of quite a
different character. To murder a Gentile may sometimes be
inexpedient, or perhaps even to a certain extent wrong, but it
is seldom, if ever, a crime, and never an unpardonable sin.
A friend of mine was in a state of apostacy. The Bishop
went to her to expostulate, and told her that if he were her
husband he would get rid of her and take away her children
as well-he would not on any account live with her.
"Perhaps," she said, "you would not allow me to live at
all?"
"Certainly not," he replied.  "I would think about as much
of killing you or any other miserable Apostate as I would
about killing a cat. If Brigham Young were to tell me to put
you to death I would do it with the greatest of pleasure;and it would be for your good, too."
Thus, when the famous Revelation on Polygamy says that
a man cannot be pardoned for shedding innocent blood, it
does not mean that he cannot be pardoned for murdering a
Gentile or an Apostate; for that, under some circumstances,
might even be meritorious; but that the murder of a Saint by
one of the brethren cannot under any circumstances be forgiven on earth, and that his only chance of forgiveness lies
in his own blood being shed as an "atonement."
Certain sins cannot be forgiven here on earth- Shedding
innocent blood, divulging the secrets of the Endowment
House -marital unfaithfulness on the part of the wifeApostacy; these are unpardonable. All other crimes which
Gentiles abhor may become even virtues, if done in the cause
of the Church. I do not, of course, mean to say that the mass
of the Mormon people act up to such atrocious doctrines; for
3II 
THE BLOOD ATONEMENT,
although, when among themselves, they would admit that the
theory was correct, the better instincts of their nature keep
them from even putting that theory into practice. But what
I do mean to say is, that such doctrines have, over and over
again, been distinctly taught in the plainest words in the public
hearing of thousands; that they have been printed and reprinted by authority; that they have been practiced, and the
very highest of the Mormon leaders have applauded; and that,
even at the present moment, these doctrines form part of the
dogmas of the Church. It is this day a matter of fact, and
not a matter of question, that if any Mormon Apostate were
to commit any of the unpardonable sins which I have mentioned, and if he or she were to be assassinated by a private
individual, all zealous  Mormons-all the leaders-would
maintain that not only was the deed justifiable but even
meritorious!
This may seem bad enough, but it is not the worst. The
doctrine of the "BLOOD ATONEMENT" is that the murder of
an Apostate is a deed of love! If a Saint sees another leave
the Church, or if even he only believes that his brother's faith
is weakening and that he will apostatise before long, heyknows
that the soul of his unbelieving brother will be lost if he dies
in such a state, and that only by his blood being shed is there
any chance of forgiveness for him; it is therefore the kindest
action that he can perform toward him to shed his blood-the
doing so is a deed of truest love. The nearer, the dearer, the
more tenderly loved the sinner is, the greater the affection
shown by the shedder of blood-the action is no longer murder or the shedding of innocent blood, for the taint of apostacy
takes away its innocence-it is making atonement, not a
crime; it is an act of mercy, therefore meritorious.
These were the terrible teachings which the "Reformation"
brought to light:-they had been whispered before among the
elect, and had been acted upon by the "Avenging Angels,"
but before this they had never been publicly and intelligibly
explained.
As I before said, the Saints had. been excited to a condition
312 
THE REIGN OF TERROR IN UTAH.
of frenzy and were ready to engage in any fanatical folly, but
the way in which the spark was applied to the powder was as
ridiculous as its results were terrible.
Jedediah M. Grant, an enthusiast of the wildest kind; a man
without education or mental discipline of any description; one
of the First Presidency and high in authority among the
Saints, had occasion to attend a meeting which was held at
Kaysville, a place about twenty-five miles distant from Salt
Lake City, and he invited some of the Elders to meet him
there to take part in the proceedings. To one of these,
"Jeddy" as he was familiarly called, obligingly lent a mule;
he himself did not accompany the party but went on before.
These Elders were pretty well mounted and one of them being
a good horseman made the rest keep up with him. In consequence of this when they arrived at Kaysville the beasts were
heated and tired. The Apostle "Jeddy" watched them but
said nothing.
Up to a certain point, the meeting passed off pleasantly
enough-the Elders present were "good at testimony" and
strong in exhorting their hearers to faithfulness. Jeddy was
the last speaker. He began in his usual way, but presently
warmed up until he became quite excited and then proceeded
to accuse every one present of all sorts of wrong-doing. The
Elders who had preceded him came in for their full share; he.
denounced them for their inconsistency and hypocrisy, and
bitterly upbraided them for running his mule and their own
beasts in such a manner. The Bishop of the place and his
counsellors he accused of inactivity and carelessness; and he
called loudly upon every one present to repent and do their
first works; threatening them with the speedy judgments of
Heaven.
All this was well enough if it had stopped there, for it might
have been taken for just what it was-an ebulition of temper
on the part of "Jeddy" who was naturally vexed that his mule
had been over-heated. But like many other manias and epidemics, this Mormon movement began with a most insignificant trifle, and the spirit of fiery denunciation became perfectly
3I3 
3I4 THE "REFORMATION":-EXCITEMENT AMONG THE SAINTS.
contagious.  Another meeting was held in the course of a few
weeks, and then the mutual accusations of those who were
present became, if possible, more bitter than before; the
"Saints" were denounced as the vilest of sinners and they
were all commanded to be re-baptized. Accordingly, after the
meeting, although it was night and the weather was cold, a
considerable number were immersed by the Elders, and Jeddy
himself was so enthusiastically engaged in the performance
that he remained in the water so long that he got a thorough
chill and contracted the disease of which he died.
Sunday after Sunday similar scenes were repeated in the
Tabernacle, until, had it not been painful, the whole affair
would have been ludicrous in the extreme. Every one had
strayed from the path of duty, and the fact was announced in
the strongest terms. People were called upon by name to
publicly confess their sins, and many were then and there
pointed out and accused of crimes of which they were entirely
guiltless but which they dared not deny. In the midst of all
this, the duty of implicit obedience to the Priesthood and the
payment of tithes was loudly insisted upon.
Then Missionaries were sent out all over the territory armed
with the full authority of the Priesthood and also a catechism
which, on account of its obscene character, has since been
bought up so successfully by Brigham that it is doubtful if
there is a copy in existence. The Mormons have a curious
way of appointing Missionaries. If a man is weak in the
faith, a depraved bad man, or even a youth with wild tendencies and inclined to sow his wild oats a little too luxuriantly,
he is sent on his travels to preach the Gospel: -nothing
strengthens a man's faith, it is thought, more than having to
defend it from the opposition of unbelievers, and the enforced
good example which the Missionary is obliged to set will, it is
said, produce a salutary effect upon the exuberance of youth
or the depravity of more mature years. In the present instance
many of the Missionaries thus sent forth were known to be
as immoral as they were grossly ignorant.
There was one terrible meeting at which Brigham himself 
SELF-CONVICTED.
was put to the blush.  Men of note were there-no one was
present who did not belong to the Priesthood. "Jeddy" held
forth, and Heber and Brigham were strong upon the occasion.
In the midst of the proceedings, Brother Brigham, full of confidence, in the plainest words called upon all who could not
plead guiltless of certain crimes to stand up. Three-fourths
of those present immediately arose.   Utterly shocked, the
Prophet entered into explanations; but self-convicted these
three-fourths of his hearers stood conscientiously firm. Even
Brigham saw the necessity of taking some stringent measures.
The Saints were told that if they were re-baptized their sins
would be washed away and they could then say they were not
guilty of the crimes suggested in the catechism. Subsequently
the catechism itself was, as I said, bought up and burnt.
The burden of every sermon was unquestioning obedience,
repentance, payment of tithing, and above all the taking of
more wives. The Missionaries, without the slightest ceremony,
would visit the houses of respectable Saints, examine them
out of the abominable catechism, and question husbands and
wives in the presence of their children about even their very
thoughts, in a manner, and upon subjects, which would amply
have justified their being hung up to the nearest tree-Lynch
law was in fact too good for such atrocities. Wicked ideas, the
utterance of which would have called forth a blush even if
heard from the lips of a drunken rowdy in a pot-house, were
suggested and explained to young children; while it would
have been literally at the risk of life for their parents to have
expostulated:-to do so would have shown want of faith, and
want of faith would have justified some fanatical scoundrel in
using his knife or his pistol for the loving purpose of cutting off his brother's soul from earth in order to save it in
heaven!
Meanwhile, Jedediah did not for a moment cease his exhortations, the work must be done thoroughly: the B16od-Atonement  must  not be forgotten.   On  one occasion, in the
Tabernacle, this crazy fanatic said:
"I would advise some of you men here to go to President Young, and confess
3I5 
THE BLOOD OF OFFENDERS TO BE SHED.
your sins, and ask him to take you outside the city and have your blood shed to
atone for your sins."
~............    ~
"There are men and women that I would advise to go to the President immediately, and ask him to appoint a committee to attend to their case; and then let
a place be selected, and let that committee shed their blood...I
"I would ask how many covenant-breakers there are in this city and in this
kingdom? I believe that there are a great many; and if they are covenantbreakers, we need a place designated where we can shed their blood."
"We have been trying long enough with this people, and I go in for letting
the sword of the Almighty be unsheathed, not only in word but in deed."
Lest he should be mistaken he said:
"What ought this meek people who keep the commandments of God do unto
them?' Why,' says one,'they ought to pray the Lord to kill them.' I want to
know if you would wish the Lord to come down and do all your dirty work?
....  When a man prays for a thing, he ought to be willing to perform
it himself......  Putting to death the transgressors would exhibit the
law of God, no matter by whomi it was done."
tHeber C. Kimball, the "model Saint," after a speech to the
same effect, in which, as usual, he made use of the most dis
gusting language, added:
"Joseph Smith was God to the inhabitants of the earth when he was among
us, and Brigham is God now!"
But more shocking than any other was the language of
Brigham Young himself.  On the 2ISt of September, I856, in
a discourse delivered in the Bowery, Great Salt Lake City, and
afterwards re-printed by authority in the Journals of Discourses, Vol. IV., pp. 53-4, he said:
"The time is coming when justice will be laid to the line and righteousness to
the plummet; when we shall take the old broadsword, and ask,'Are you for
God?' and if you are not heartily on the Lord's side, you will be hewn down! "
"There are sins that men commit for which they cannot receive forgiveness in
this world or in that which is to come; and if they had their eyes opened to see
their true condition, they would be perfectly willing to have their blood spilt upon
the ground, that the smoke thereof might xscend to Heaven as an offering for
thei.r sins, and. the smoking incense would atone for their sins; whereas, if such
is not the case, they will stick to them and remain with them in the spirit world.
1' I know, when you hear my brethren telling about cutting people off from the
earth, that you consider it is strong doctrine; but it is to save them, not to
destroy them..
"I do know that there are sins committed of such a nature that, if the people
3-i6
'p 
BRIGHAM YOUNG'S INTERPRETATION OF SCRIPTURE.  317
did understand the doctrine of salvation, they would tremble because of their
situation. And, furthermore, I know that there are transgressors who, if they
knew themselves, and the only condition upon which they can obtain forgiveness,
would beg of their brethren to shed their blood, that the smoke thereof might
ascend to God as an offering to appease the wrath that is kindled against them,
and that the low might have its course.  I will say, further, I have had men come
to me and offer their lives to atone for their sins.
"It is true that the blood of the Son of God was shed for sins through the fall
and those committed by men, yet men can commit sins which it can never remit.
As it wvas in ancient days, so it is in our day; and though the principles are
taught publicly from this stand, still the people do not understand them; yet the
law is precisely the same. There are sins that can be atoned for by an offering
upon an altar, as in ancient days; and there are sins that the blood of a lamb,
of a calf, or of turtle doves cannot remit, but they must be atoned for by thze blood
of the man."
One would have supposed that even Brigham had now
reached the culminating point of horror and blasphemy. But
no;-a month or so later he even surpassed himself when in a
Tabernacle sermon he said:
"When will we love our neighbors as ourselves?  In the first place, Jesus
said that no man hateth his own flesh. It is admitted by all that every person
loves himself. Now if we do rightly love ourselves we want to be saved, and
continue to exist, we want to go into the kingdom where we can enjoy eternity,
and see no more sorrow nor death. This is the desire of every person who
believes in God. Now take a person in this congregation who has knowledge
with regard to being saved in the kingdom of our God and our Father, and being
exalted, one who knows and understands the principles of eternal life, and sees
the beauties and excellency of the eternities before him compared with the vain
and foolish things Of the world, and suppose that he is overtaken in a gross fault,
that he has committed a sin that he knows will deprive him of that exaltation
which he desires, and that he cannot attain to it without the shedding of his
blood, and also knows that by having his blood shed he will atone for that sin
and be saved and exalted with the gods, is there a man or a woman in this house
but would say,'Shed my blood that I might be saved and exalted with the
gods?'
"All mankind love themselves: and let those principles but be known by an
individual, and he would be glad to have his blood shed. This would be loving
ourselves even unto an eternal exaltation. Will you love your brothers or sisters
likewise when they have a sin that cannot be atoned for without the shedding of
their blood? Will you love that man or woman well enough to shed their blood?
That is what jesus Christ meant.  lie never told a man or woman to love their
enemies in their wickedness, never. He never meant any such thing; His language is left as it is for those to read who have the spirit to discern between
truth and error; it was so left for those who can discern the things of God.
Jesus Christ never meant that we should love a wicked man in his wickedness.
"I could refer you to pleniy of instances wilere men have beent rigzhteously slain in 
"OUT OF LOVE HE CUT HER THROAT!"
order to atone for their sins.  I have seen scores and hundreds of people for whom
there would have been a chance (in the last resurrection there will be) if their
lives had been taken and their blood spilled on the ground as a smoking incense
to the Almighty, but who are now angels to the devil, until our elder brother,
Jesus Christ, raises them up and conquers death, hell, and the grave.
"I have known a great many men who have left this Church, for whom there
is no chance whatever for exaltation, but if their blood had been spilled it would
have been better for them.
"The wickedness and ignorance of the nations forbid this principle being in
full force, but the time will come when the law of God will be in full force. This
is loving our neighbor as ourselves; if he needs help, help himnt; if he wants
salvation, and it is necessary to spill his blood on the earth in order that he may
be saved, spill it.
"Any of you who understand the principles of eternity, if you have sinned a
sin requiring the shedding of blood, except the sin unto death, should not be
satisfied or rest until your blood should be spilled, that you might gain that
salvation you desire.  That is the way to love mankind....  Light and
darkness cannot dwell together, and so it is with the kingdom of God.
"Now, brethren and sisters, will you live your religion?  How many hundreds
of times have I asked that question? Will the Latter-Day Saints live their
religion?"
And so, according to Brigham Young, their Prophet, this
was the religion of the Saints! And the people acted up to
the "religion" thus taught: and the story is so terrible that
one dare not even whisper all its details.
It is no secret that all this was understood literally. The wife
of one Elder, when he was absent on a mission, acted unfaithfully towards him. Her husband took counsel of the authorities, and was reminded that the shedding of her blood alone
could save her. He returned and told her, but she asked for
time, which was readily granted. One day, in a moment of
affection, when she was seated on his knee, he reminded her
of her doom, and suggested that now when their hearts were
full of love was a suitable time for carrying it into execution.
She acquiesced, and out of love he cut her throat from ear to ear.
In many instances the outrages committed against persons
who were known to be innocent were so revolting that no
woman-nay, even no right-minded man-would venture to
more than just allude to them. A4 few however, and only a
few, and they by no means the worst, of the milder cases, I
will just mention.
318 
THt BLOOD ATONEMENT:-A VICTIM.
There was the murder of the Aikin party-six personswho were killed on their way to California. The same year a
man named Yates was killed under atrocious circumstances;
and Franklin McNeil who had sued Brigham for false imprisonment and who was killed at his hotel door. There was
Sergeant Pike, and there was Arnold and Drown. There
was Price and William Bryan at Fairfield; there was Almon
Babbitt, and Brassfield, and Dr. Robinson; there was also
James Cowdy and his wife and child, and Margetts and his
wife; and many another, too, to say nothing of that frightful
murder at the Mountain Meadows.
Besides these there is good reason to think that Lieutenant
Gunnison and his party were also victims, although it was
said that they were shot by "Indians." The Potter and Parrish
murders were notorious; Forbes, and Jones and his mother,
might be added to the same list; the dumb boy, Andrew
Bernard; a woman killed by her own husband; Morris the
rival Prophet, and Banks, and four women who belonged to
their party; Isaac Potter, and Charles Wilson, and John
Walker. These are but a few. The death list is too long for
me to venture to give it.
One instance I can give from my own personal knowledge.'
A sister who occasionally does a little work at my house on
one occasion said to me: "Mrs. Stenhouse, when first I came
to this country I lived in the southern portion of Utah. One
day I saw a woman running across the fields towards our
house, pale and trembling. When she came in she looked
round her as if she were frightened, and she asked if any one
besides our own family were present. On being assured that
there was no one present whom she might fear, she said:'Two men came to our house late last night and asked to see
my husband, who had already retired. He was in bed, but
they insisted that he must get up as they had a message from
"the authorities" for him.  When they saw him they requested him to go with them to attend, they said, to some
Church business. I became very much alarmed, for my poor
husband had been known to speak rather freely of late of
319 
320' "HAD THEIR BLOOD SHED-ALL FOR LOVE!"
some of the measures of the Church, but he tried to reassure
me and finally left the house with the two men. In about
an hour after they came back bearing between them his
lifeless body. They laid him upon the bed, and then one of
them pulled aside the curtain which constituted our only
cupboard, and took therefrom a bake-kettle and stood it beside
the bed, in order to catch the blood that was flowing from a
fearful wound in his throat. They then left the house telling
me to make as little noise about it as possible or they might
serve me in the same way. The men were masked, and I
cannot tell who they are, but I spent a fearful night with my
poor dead husband."' This sister added: "Sister Stenhouse,
in those more fearful times we dared not speak to each other
about such things for fear of spies."
These were all well-known and notorious instances. I say
nothing of those of whose fate nothing-not even a whisper
-was ever heard; and I say nothing of the frightful "cuttings off" before the Reformation and in recent years.
Gentile men and women were killed, for hatred; and that
"killing" was no murder, for theirs was not innocent blood.
Apostates, and Saints of doubtful faith, and those who were
obnoxious, had their blood shed-all for love-and that "cutting off" was also no murder, because to secure their salvation
by cutting their throats was an act of mercy. Can it be possible that men should thus act and say-and believe-that
Jesus, the gentle and merciful Saviour, commanded it when
He said: "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself?"
All through this Reign of Terror, marrying and giving in
marriage was the order of the day. It mattered not if a man
was seventy years of age, according to Brother Brigham he
was still a boy-"the brethren are all boys until they are
a hundred years old"-and some young girl of sixteen, fifteen,
or even younger would be "counselled"-that is, commanded
-to marry him. She might even have a sister no older than
herself, and then as likely as not he would take the two to
wife, and very probably both on the same day. The girls
were told that to marry a young man was not a safe thing, for 
AT WHAT AGE GIRLS SHOULD MARRY.
young men were not tried-it was better to marry a welltested patriarch and then their chances of "exaltation" in
the kingdom of heaven were sure and certain. In this way
the life-long happiness of many a girl-little more than a
child-was blighted for ever. At the time of which I speak,
every unmarried woman, or girl who could by the utmost
stretch of possibility be thought old enough to marry, was
forced to find a husband, or a husband was immediately found
for her, and without any regard to her wishes was forced upon
her. Young men, and even boys, were forced, not only into
marriage, but even Polygamy, and none dared resist. The
marrying mania, in fact, was universal and irresistible-every
one must marry or be given in marriage. So evidently was
this the case that women in jest said that, if one were to hang
a petticoat upon a fence-pole, half a dozen men would flock at
once to marry it! Absurd as this may seem it was not very
far from the truth. Young men and maidens, old men
and children, widows, virgins, and youths-in fact every one
whether married or unmarried, it mattered not, was "counselled "-commanded-to marry.
There is above fanaticism a stronger law which, despite
every effort of the deluded victim, will occasionally make itselft
heard-the voice of Nature. Even during that strange time
in which every Saint seemed to have gone stark crazy mad,
the frightful anomaly of men of fifty, sixty, and even seventy
marrying mere children- girls of fourteen, and even thirteen,
-forced itself upon the attention of some of the leaders.
The question arose-an odd question to Gentile ears-" At
what age is a girl old enough to marry?"  Considerable discussion ensued, and even in the Tabernacle the subject was
taken  up.   The  voice  of authority,  however,  eventually
answered the matter, but not in the way that any ordinary
civilised person would expect. 
In those times, unmarried girls were very scarce-in the
settlements it was difficult to find any at all. Not infrequently
it happened that a brother was "counselled" to marry, but
could not obey, as there was no unmarried woman in the place
20 
SOME EXTRAORDINARY MARRIAGES.
where he lived.  In that case he generally paid a visit to
Salt Lake City. But business at the Endowment House
nevertheless was pretty lively; in fact so much so that it was
deemed necessary to set apart certain days for the various
Settlements.  Once, when the "Provo day" was fast approaching, two old brethren from that town who had been counselled
to enlarge their families, but who had been unsuccessful in
finding partners, began to despair of being able to obey "the
word of the Lord!" The day before that appointed for the
Endowments and Celestial Marriage arrived, and they were as
far from success as ever.  Being neighbors, the two old
gentlemen met and mingled their griefs, and considered what
might be done. It then occurred to them that there was a
certain brother who had two daughters, respectively twelve
andfouiteen years of age, and they resolved to call upon him
about these children. As might be supposed, the father at
first refused them, giving as a reason that the girls were too
young. The old men explained that if they could not marry
the children it was impossible for them to "obey counsel,"
and the father then agreed. The next morning the marriage
ceremony was performed in the Endowment House. One of
these wretches was sixty years of age, and the other a few
years younger. The father of the children was about forty.
I am really afraid that the reader will think that I exaggerate
or misrepresent facts. I wish it were so, for the case is so
outrageously atrocious; but I am sorry to say that scores
and hundreds of instances similar to this, which occurred
during the Reformation, might be given.
Not long before this infamous transaction, one of these men
looking round in search of a wife, learned that a young English girl was stopping at the house of a certain brother in the
neighborhood. He immediately visited that brother, and said
he should like to be made acquainted with the girl. It happened that the young sister in question had recently been
married, but of that the ancient brother was of course ignorant, and his friend at whose house the lady was stopping,
being fond of a little practical joke at times, did not inform
322 
A LOVER'S DISAPPOINTMENT.
him of the fact. The would-be lover in a business-like way at
once began with his wooing; spoke to the young lady about the
Revelation; of the "counsel" he had received; of his desire
to obey; and finally offered her his hand and heart-at least as
much of the latter as remained. He expatiated upon his
prospects and possessions.-he had a small house and a large
lot, a good farm, a few cows, a yoke of oxen, and a wagon,
-another wife was a trifle which he felt himself well able to
keep. The sister listened in silence and seemed a little bashful. At last she said that about such a serious matter she
must have a little time for consideration, and asked for a
week's thinking-time.
Delighted with his success the gentleman withdrew; but
before the end of the week he found out that the lady was
married, he saw her husband, he saw the friend at whose
house the lady was stopping; and over the matter he made a
considerable fuss.
There are before me as I write, letters, papers, documents
of various sorts relative to marriage and the matrimonial
affairs of the Saints, at the time of which I speak, that I wish
the reader could peep at I would not like him to read them
J
-in fact, I dared not read them all myself, for some of them
are so shameful that the mere knowledge of having read them
through would make any right-minded person blush. Taking
more wives was the order of the day-Sow, was of little
matter.
The work of "Reformation" was in full progress; the
people were excited to frenzy; the Federal troops were expected; men were marrying and maidens were given in marriage; every one in Utah was looking forward to the time
when the prophecies of Joseph, the Seer, should be fulfilled.
and the Son of Man should come:-and then, when one would
have supposed that every man would have wished that his
hands should be pure, was perpetrated a deed which is unparalleled in modern civilised times-a deed at which angels and
men have stood aghast with horror.
323 
CHAPTER XXIII.
THE MOUNTAIN MEADOWS' MASSACRE:-" I WILL REPAY,
SAITH THE LORD."
The Train from Arkansas-The Story of a Friend-How an Apostle Merited
Death-Mormon Hospitality?- How Justice Slumbered-That Sinner,
McLean-Weary and Footsore-What the Governor of the Territory Did
not Do-The  Story of a Frightful Sin-A Weary Journey-" Without a
Morsel of Bread "-Christian-like Indians-Empty Wagons-Military Murder ers-Corn, but no Mercy-A Regular Military Call-Pursuing the Pilgrims The Muster-Call-The Little Children Not to be Killed-The Infamous John
D. Lee-The Flag of Truce-" The State of Deseret "-A Deed of Fearful
Treachery-Surrounded by "Indians!"-The Emigrants Besieged-Dying for
Want of Water-Without Bread-The Mountain Meadows-Atrocious Mor mon Villainy-The White Flag-The "Indians" Again-The Mormon Story
of the Massacre-Treachery-The " WIzite" Indians-Mormon Perfidity How the Emigrants Were Betrayed-Marching to Death-A Few Children
Saved-The Spoil-The Murder of Many Men-The End of a Terrible Story.
I FEEL myself utterly inadequate to tell the story of the
Mountain Meadows' Massacre-it is so shocking, so fiendlike. And yet it must be told.
While the work of "Reformation" was going on, and when
the United States troops were constantly expected in the
Valley of the Great Salt Lake, a large train of emigrants passed
through Utah on its way to California. The train consisted
of one hundred and twenty or one hundred and thirty persons,
and they came chiefly from Arkansas. They were people
from the country districts, sober, hard-working, plain folks, but
well-to-do and, taken all in all, about as respectable a band of
emigrants as ever passed through Salt Lake City.
0 
TEMOUNTAIN MEADOWS MASSACRE.
THE' MOUNTAIN MEADOWS MASSACRE.32
Nothing worthy of any particular note occurred to them
until they reached the Valley-that was the point from which
they started towards death.
My old friend Eli B. Kelsey travelled with them from Fort
Bridger to Salt Lake City, and he spoke of them in the highest
terms. If I remember rightly he said that the train was
divided into two parts-the first a rough-and-ready set of men
-regular frontier pioneers; the other a picked community, the
members of which were all more or less connected by family ties.
They travelled along in the most orderly fashion, without hurry
or confusion. On Sunday they rested, and one of their number
who had been a Methodist preacher conducted divine service.
All went well until they reached Salt Lake City, where they
expected to be able to refit and replenish their stock of provisions; but it was there that they first discovered that feeling
of enmity which finally resulted in their destruction.
Now it so happened that the minds of the Saints in Salt
Lake City were at that time strongly prejudiced against the
people of Arkansas, and for a most unsaintly reason. The
Apostle Parley P. Pratt, who was one of the earliest converts
to Mormonism, and who so ably defended his adopted creed
with his pen and from the platform, had not very long before
been sojourning in Arkansas and had there run away with
another man's wife.  This was only a trifle for an "Apostle"
to do, and the husband-Mr. McLean-might have known it.
But he was a most inconsiderate man and was actually
offended with the amorous Apostle for what he had done. He
pursued him and killed him, for in those rough parts it was
considered that the Apostle did wrong in marrying the man's
wife. Nobody, however, took any notice of the matter or
brought the murderer to trial. The Mormon people, of course,
took the side of the Apostle Parley P. Pratt.  Sensitive themselves to the highest degree concerning their wives and
daughters, they considered McLean a sinner for doing just
exactly what any Saint would have certainly done. Their
opinion, however, would have been a matter of consequence
only to themselves, had not such fatal consequences resulted
325 
THE ENEMY TO BE "CUT OFF."
from it. Reasoning without reason, they argued that McLean
was the enemy of every Mormon, and every Mormon was the
enemy of McLean;-McLean was protected in Arkansas
therefore every man from Arkansas was an enemy of the Mormons;-an enemy ought to be cut off-therefore it was the
duty of every Mormon  to "cut off "-if he could-every
Arkansas man.
This appears to have been the tone of thought which
actuated the minds of the leaders of the people at the time
when this emigrant train arrived in the City.
Weary and footsore they encamped by the Jordan River,
trusting there to recruit themselves and their teams, and to
replenish their stock of provisions.  The harvest in Utah that
year had been abundant, and there was nothing to hinder
them from obtaining a speedy and full supply. Brigham
Young was then Governor of Utah Territory, Commander-inChief of the Militia, and Indian Agent as well:-he was therefore responsible for all that took place within his jurisdiction.
It was his duty to protect all law-abiding persons who either
resided in or travelled through the country. The emigrants,
so far from being protected, were ordered to break up their
camp and move on; and it is said that written instructions
were sent on before them, directing the people in the settlements through which they would have to pass to have no
dealings with them. This, considering their need of provisions, was much the same as condemning them to certain
death.
Compelled to travel on, they pursued their journey slowly
towards Los Angeles. At American Fork they wished to
trade off some of their worn-out stock and to purchase fresh,
-they also desired to obtain provisions. There was abundance of everything from the farm and from the field, for God
had very greatly blessed the land that year; but they could
obtain nothing. They passed on, and went through Battle
Creek, Provo, Springville, Spanish Fork, Payson, Salt Creek
and Fillmore, and their reception was still the same,-the
word of the Mormon Pontiff had gone forth, and no man
326 
THE EMIGRANTS ON THE ROAD.
dared to hold communion or to trade with them. Now and
then, some Mormon, weak in the faith or braver or more fond
of money than his fellows, would steal into the camp, in the
darkness of the night, bearing with him just what he was able
to carry; but beyond this they could procure nothing. Their
only hope now lay in the chance of holding out until they
could push through to some Gentile settlement where the
word of the priestly Governor of Utah was not law. Through
fifteen different Mormon settlements did they pass, without
being able to purchase a morsel of bread. With empty
wagons and on short allowance, they pushed on until they
reached Corn Creek, where, for the first time in saintly Utah,
they met a friendly greeting from t/e Indianzs and purchased
from them thirty bushels of corn, of which they stood very
greatly in need.
At Beaver they were again repulsed, and at Parowan they
were not permitted to enter the town-they were forced to
leave the public highway and pass round the west side of the
fort wall. They encamped by the stream, and tried, as before,
to obtain food and fresh cattle, but again to no purpose.
The reason why they were refused admission into the town
was probably because the militia was there assembled undeg
Colonel Wm. H. Dame-which militia afterwards assisted in
their destruction, for which preparations were even now
made.
They made their way to Cedar City, the most populous of
all the towns of Southern Utah. Here they were allowed to
purchase fifty bushels of tithing wheat and to have it ground
at the mill of that infamous scoundrel John D. Lee, upon
whose memory will rest the eternal curses of all who have
ever heard his name. It was, however, no act of mercy-the
supplying of this corn. The sellers of it knew well enough
even then that it would return to them again in the course of
a few days. After all, they had but forty days' rations to
carry them on to San Bernardino, in California-a journey of
about seventy days.  Scanty kindness- miserable generosity!
-fifty bushels of corn for a seventy-days' journey, for men,
327 
THE MILITIA ASSEMBLED.
women, and young children, and at least one little one to be
born on the road.
They remained in Cedar City only one day, and so jaded
were their teams that it took them three days to travel thence
to Iron Creek-a distance of twenty miles; and two days
were occupied in journeying fifteen miles-the distance
between Iron Creek and the Meadows.
The morning after they left Iron Creek, the Mormon
militia followed them in pursuit, intending, it is supposed, to
assault them at Clara Crossing. That this was no private
outburst, and that, on the contrary, it was done by authority, is
evident from sworn testimony to the effect that the assembling
of those troops was the result of "a regular military call
from thie superior officers to the subordinate officers and privates
of ithe regiment... Said regiment was duly ordered to
muster, armed and equipped as the law directs, andprepared
for field operations." A regular military council was held at
Parowan, at which were present President Isaac C. Haight,
the Mormon High-Priest of Southern Utah, Colonel Dame,
Major John D. Lee, and the Apostle George A. Smith.
No military council, whether of the militia or the ordinary
troops of the line, would dare to determine upon such an
important matter as the cutting off of an emigrant train of
one hundred and thirty persons without receiving permission
from superior authority. Brigham Young was in this case
the superior authority-he was the Commander-in-Chief of
the Militia:-the inference is obvious. I do not, of course,
say that he gave the order for this accursed deed, but that it
was his business to bring the criminals to justice no one can
doubt or deny.
The regiment which started from Cedar City under the
command of Major John D. Lee, the sub-agent for Indian
affairs in Southern Utah, was accompanied by baggagewagons and the other paraphernalia of war, excepting only
heavy artillery, which in this case would have been useless.
But, at the same time, a large body of the Piede Indians had
been invited to accompany them.
328 
THE ORDER FOR THE MASSACRE.
An order came from head-quarters to cut off the entire
company except the little children. The emigrants were
utterly unprepared, and the first onslaught found them
defenceless. Accustomed, however, to border warfare, they
immediately corralled their wagons and prepared for a siegetheir great misfortune was that they had not any water.
Major John D. Lee, finding the emigrants resolute, sent to
Cedar City and Washington City for re-inforcements, which
duly arrived.
The next morning, Major John D. Lee assembled his
troops, including the auxiliaries which he had summoned,
about half a mile from the intrenchment of the fated emigrants, and then and there informed them, with all the coolness which such an infamous scoundrel alone could muster,
that the whole company was to be killed, and only the little
children who were too young to remember anything were to
be spared.
The unfortunate emigrants did not know who their foes
were. They saw Indians, or men who were so colored that
they looked like Indians, and they saw others who were more
than strangers to them, but they had no clue to the cause of
their detention. To them all was mystery. That Indians
should attack them was quite within the bounds of probability,
although there was at that time no cause for such an outrage;
but that such an attack should be persistent, and should be
carried on under the peculiar circumstances in question, was,
to say the least, highly improbable.
A flag of truce was sent down to the unfortunate emigrants: but wherefore a flag of truce?- wherefore any conditions of warfare? and wherefore should the militia regiment be
militant against them? No answer can be returned to these
questions without disclosing secret scenes of sin and shameful
iniquity at the mention of which even the souls of fiend might
stand aghast.
A message was sent to the emigrant camp-a message not
of Christian love and help, but such as might be sent from
one foeman to another. A flag of truce was sent, and with it
329 
THE FLAG OF TRUCE.
a message to the effect that, if the emigrants chose to lay down
their arms and surrender themselves to the militia, their lives
should be spared. Consider the atrocity of this. Here was a
company of harmless emigrants, against whom not even the
slightest wrong-doing had been suggested. Yet, unquestioned,
unaccused, innocent of all wrongdoing, the authorised and
duly constituted militia of Utah Territory-a Territory claiming even then to be admitted into the Union as the State of
"Deseret"-was encamped against those unoffending citizens,
with the cruel, the iniquitous purpose of cutting them off.
Who could rightly tell a story so fearful as this? The
emigrant train-men, women, and children fainting and famishing for want of bread and meat. In their pockets was
money wherewith the necessaries of life might have been
bought, and the generous hand of the Almighty had that year
been open so wide and had scattered those necessaries so liberally that nothing but the wickedness of man towards his
fellow could have created a dearth. But so it was that darkness and the fear of death-a fearful death even at the door
was all those poor emigrants had standing before their eyes.
What right had the Mormon militia to be pursuing, to be
hanging about the skirts of any body of emigrants.' Their
very presence was in itself unauthorised-criminal.   The
emigrants supposed that they were surrounded by Indians and
expected the cruellest treatment in case of resistance-not
death, but the outrage and shocking atrocities of savages.
They did not know that the red men who threatened their
lives and the lives of their helpless wives and infants were
brought together at that spot for that same purpose by the
counsel of Mormon authorities.  They did not know that so
many of the appearing red-skins were only painted devils, mocks
of humanity, wretches who under the mask of a red-skin's color
were eager to perpetrate the foulest of offences-scoundrels a
thousand times damned in the opinion of men and by the
decree of God.
Day after day went by, and the poor creatures began to
despair-who can wonder?  The brave men cared little for
330 
FIEND-LIKE DEEDS OF THE MORMON MILITIA.
their own lives; but there was something fearful in the thought
that their darling ones would be scalped, and torn in pieces, and
brutally outraged! Who can wonder that they resolved to sell
life as dearly as they possibly could? They might at least die in
defence of those they loved.
So day followed day.  The agony of the unhappy men and
women who were thus besieged and were in daily, hourly peril
of the most frightful of all deaths can be imagined-not told.
Meanwhile, what were those atrocious scoundrels doing who
were lying in wait for their blood? Some of them were
tricked out as Indians; some were in their own proper dresses;
and, moreover, real Utes were there. The unhappy victims
could not possibly escape-there was time for the murderers
to do their work leisurely. Between chance shots, which were
intended to, and did, carry death with them, they amused themselves with "pitching horse-shoe quoits:" such heartlessness
is almost beyond conception.
In terrible need of water, they thought that even the Indians
who they supposed were their assailants might possibly respect
a token of truce; so they dressed two little girls in white and
sent them down to the well. But the fiends the Mormon
militia-shot them down. In the day of doom, the blood Of
those babes will testify more heavily against Major John D.
Lee and Isaac C. Haight, and Colonel Dame, and George A.
Smith, and the other wretch who plotted and contrived that
fearful iniquity, than any of the base and cowardly crimes
which have for years and years blackened their contemptible
and miserable souls.
They could not possibly advance.  Their corn would not
last long.  They were famishing for water.  How long they
could hold out was evidently only a matter of time.  Had the
train consisted only of men, they might certainly, if with loss,
have cut their way through their besiegers and escaped; but
with wives and children, and others bound to them by the tenderest ties, such a thing was impossible. They looked and
waited. Savage Indians they supposed were their only enemies.   Coldly, strangely as they had been treated at the
33I 
THE "WHITE INDIANS":- TREACHERY.
Mormon settlements, they never for a moment supposed that
white men could be in league against them or could meditate
their destruction.
Up in the meadows —in the distance-there was a white
dusty cloud as if of some person or persons approaching:the hearts of the emigrants leaped for joy. Was help coming
at last? It was evident that a wagon was coming near, and the
wagon was filled with armed men;-here was hope. After all
the misery of that waitful watching, they were overjoyed, and
shouted aloud with gladness, and sprang with open arms to
welcome their visitors. Little did they suppose that the fiends
who then came down, with pale faces and the manners of
white men, were the same as those who, painted and decked
out like Indians, had been leaguered about their camp with
murderous intentions for so many days.
The wagon came near, and was found to be filled with armed
men.   Surely now, the unhappy emigrants thought, substantial help had come  the authorities of Utah  in  the
neighborhood, whether Gentile or Mormon, had come out in
the cause of civilisation and humanity, and succor was at hand.
A white flag was waved from the wagon as an emblem of
peace, and in order that the emigrants might know that it was
white men and not the red demons of the hills who approached.
They did not, indeed, know that these themselves were the
monsters who had wronged them all this time and who were
even now compassing their death.
Inside that wagon was President Haight, the infamous
Mormon Bishop John D. Lee, and other authorities of the
Church in Southern Utah. They professed to the emigrants
that they came upon the friendly errand of standing between
them and the Indians. They said that the Indians had taken
offence at something that the emigrants had done, that they
were thirsting for their blood, but that they-the Mormon officials - were on good terms with them and had influence,
and would use their good offices in the cause of mercy
and of peace. After some discussion they left with the professed view of. conciliating the Indians. Then they returned
332 
THE MASSACRE.
and said that the Indians had agreed, that if the emigrants
marched back to Salt Lake City their lives should be spared;
but that they must leave everything behind them in their
camp, even including the common weapons of defence which
every Western man carries about his person. The Mormon
officials then solemnly undertook to bring an armed force and
to guard the emigrants safely back again to the Settlements.
The emigrants were not cowards, and would doubtless have
preferred to cut their way through to the South, but they could
not leave their wives and little ones, and any terms, however
disadvantageous, were better than leaving those they loved to
the tender mercy of those wretches.
This agreement being made, the Mormon officials retired,
and after a short time again returned with thirty or forty
armed men. Then the emigrants were marched out-the
women and children in the front, and the men following, while
the Mormon guard followed in the rear. When they had
marched in this way about a mile and had arrived at the place
where the Indians were hid in the bushes on each side of the
road, the signal was given for the slaughter. So taken by surprise were the emigrants, and so implicitly had they confided
in these murderers that they offered no resistance. The Mrmon Militia-their guard- immediately opened fire upon them
from the rear, while the Indians, and Mormons disguised as
Indians, who were hidden among the bushes, rushed out upon
them, shooting them down with guns and bows and arrows,
and cutting some of the men's throats with knives. The
women and children, shrieking with mortal terror, scattered and
fled, some trying to hide in the bushes. Two young girls
actually did escape for about a quarter of a mile when they
were overtaken and butchered under circumstances of the
greatest brutality. The son of John D. Lee endeavored to
protect one poor girl who clung to him for help; but his
father, tearing her from him by violence, blew out her brains.
Another unhappy girl is said to have kneeled to this same
monster Lee, entreating him to spare her life. He dragged
her into the bushes, stripped her naked, and cut her throat
333 
" I WILL REPAY, SAITH THE LORD."
from ear to ear, after-she had suffered worse at his hands than
death itself. About half an hour was probably occupied in
the butchery, and every soul of that company was cut off,
excepting only a few little children who were supposed to be
too young to understand or remember what had taken place.
The unfortunate victims were then stripped, without reference
to age or sex, and then left to rot upon the field. There they
remained until torn and dismembered by the wolves, when it
was then thought prudent to conceal such as lay nearest to
the road. An eye-witness subsequently visiting the spot
said -
The scene of the massacre, even at this late day, was horrible to look upon.
Women's hair in detached locks and in masses hung to the sage bushes and
was strewn over the ground in many places.  Parts of little children's dresses
and of female costume dangled from the shrubbery, or lay scattered about, and
among these, here and there on every hand, for at least a mile in the direction
of the road, by two miles east and west, there gleamed, bleached white by the
weather, the skulls and other bones of those who had suffered. A glance into
the wagon, when all these had been collected, revealed a sight which never can
be forgotten.
The remains were subsequently gathered together by Major
Carleton, the United  States Commissioner, who  erected over
them a large cairn of stones, surmounted by a crossof red
cedar, with  an  inscription  thereon:  "  Vengeance  is mine: I
will  rcpay,  saitlI  te Lord;"  and  on  a stone  beneath  were
engraved the words:
"Here I20 men, wvomen, and children were massacred in
cold blood, early in September,  I857.  They were from
Arkansas."
It is said that this monument was subsequently destroyed
by order of Brigham Young, when he visited that part of the
Territory.
The little children, while their parents were being butchered,
had clung about their murderer's knees entreating mercy, but
none of them finding it save those who were little more than
infants. Their fears and cries the night after the murder are
said to have been heart-rending. One little babe, just beginning to walk, was shot through the arm.  Another little girl
334 
.A 
: OF THE MOUNTAIN  MEADO)WS' MASSACRKE.
" Vengeance is Mfine, 1 will reay-saihil the Lord." 
THE SPOIL OF THE MURDERED EMIGRANTS.
was shot through the ear, and the clothes of most of them were
saturated with their mothers' blood. They were distributed
among the people of the settlements, and when finally the
Government took them under the protection of the nation,
the people among whom these little ones lived actually charged
for their boarding. Two of them are said to have uttered
some words from which it was presumed that their intelligence
was in advance of their years. They were taken out quietly
and-buried! This happened some time after the massacre.
Most of the property of the emigrants was sold by pubic
auction in Cedar City:-the Indians got most of the flour and
ammunition, and the Mormons the more valuable articles.
They jested over it and called it "Spoil taken at the siege of
Sevastopol." There is legal proof that the clothing stripped
from the corpses, blood-stained, riddled by the bullets, and
with shreds of flesh attached to it, was placed in the cellar of
the tithing office, where it lay about three weeks, when it was
privately sold. The cellar is said to have smelt of it for years.
Long after this time, jewelry torn from the mangled bodies
of the unfortunate women was publicly worn in Salt Lake City,
and every one knew whence it came. A tithing of it all is
reported upon very conclusive evidence to have been laid at
the feet of Brigham Young.
This is the story-most imperfectly told-for I dare not
sketch its foulest details,-of the Mountain Meadows  Massacre. Brigham Young, who was at the time Governor of
the Territory and also Indian Agent, made no report of
the matter. Let that fact of itself speak for his innocence or
guilt. Would any other governor or agent in another Territory have been thus silent?  John D. Lee, and Dame, and
Haight, and the other wretches have never been brought to
trial or cut off from the Church, although their monstrous
crime has never been a secret, nor have any endeavors been
made to conceal it.
This fearful deed was one of the unavoidable results of the
teachings of the Mormon leaders during the Reformation.
There were crimes then perpetrated in secret which will never
337 
THE MURDER OF DOCTOR ROBINSON.
be known until the Day of Doom; and there were horrors
which have been known and recorded, but for which no one
has been brought to trial or has suffered inconvenience.
There are men in Salt Lake City, who walk about unblushingly in broad daylight, but who are known to be murderers,
and whose hands have been again and again dyed with blood
under circumstances of the most atrocious cruelty.
There was one cruel murder-but by no means the worstwhich came under my own personal observation, and which I
have alluded to elsewhere-the murder of Dr. John King Robinson in Salt Lake City-which attracted more than ordinary
attention. This gentleman was a physician of good standing,
who came out as assistant-surgeon with the United States army,
and afterwards began to practice in Salt Lake City. He was
known as a man of unimpeachable moral character, and there
are to this day hundreds of responsible people who would
testify to his fair fame and rectitude; although he had by some
means incurred the dislike of many of the Mormon leaders.
He formed the idea of taking possession of some warm springs
on the north of the city, and proposed to erect there baths, an
hospital, etc.  A  small wooden shanty was erected for the
purpose of holding possession, but the city authoritiesclaimed
the spring, and, after some very unpleasant proceedings, the
matter was referred to the law courts, and Judge Titus decided
against the doctor.
After this verdict had been rendered, Dr. Robinson seems
to have acted very prudently, and to have remained in-doors
as much as possible during the succeeding days. Between
eleven and twelve o'clock on the night of the third day, however, after the family had retired to rest, a man called at the
house, and stating that his brother had broken his leg by a
fall from a mule and was suffering very much, he, after some
earnest persuasion, induced the doctor to accompany him.
Anxious as he might be to remain in-doors at such a time, no
professional man would refuse to perform an act of mercy.
He accordingly went.  At a distance of about a couple of
hundred steps from the house he was struck over the head
338 
"WHEN'DESERET' BECOMES A STATE?"
with some sharp instrument, and immediately after shot
through the brain. His wife, a young girl, to whom he had
only been married a very short time, heard the report of the
pistol, and witnesses saw men fleeing from the spot. The
police were sent for, and the body was carried to Independence
Hall, and afterwards to the victim's house. The Mayor of
the city was not informed of the murder until ten o'clock the
next day, and the chief-of-police who was sitting round the
fire with his men when news of the murder arrived, went to
bed immediately and did not visit the scene of the outrage for
three days.
The following Sunday, Brigham Young, in the Tabernacle,
publicly suggested that the doctor had probably been murdered by some of the soldiers from Camp Douglas, who were
dissatisfied with his treatment when they were under his hands,
or else that he had fallen in some gambling transaction-both
of which statements, however, were known by every one present to be utterly false. No one was ever punished for this cruel
murder. This murder did not occur during the Reformation,
but it was the natural result of the teachings of those times.
I simply mention these facts without any comment of my
own. Let the reader form his own conclusion. More of these'
frightful stories I do not care to relate; and I should not even
have presented these to the notice of the reader had it not
been impossible otherwise to give any suitable idea of that
terrible "Reformation."   The Gentile army came in.  The
Union Pacific Railroad was opened. Changes and chances
altered all that had been, and brought into being that which
might be, and that which finally really was. Instead of looking to the events of three or four thousand years ago, men
began to act up to things which were-to think and act in the
present, not to dream of the past. The day has gone by-but
not far-when the perpetration openly of such deeds was possible; but it is still boasted that when "Deseret" becomes a
State the "Saints" will "shew still greater Zeal for ilie Lord!"
21
339 
CHAPTER XXIV.
WAYS AND WORKS OF TIE SAINTS:-THE PROPtIET'S MIL                       LINERY BILLS
Life in Zion-Introduced to Brother Heber-" Have you got the Blues!"-A
wife's trials: Counselled to take Another Wife-The Tabernacle Sermons
The Crowning Glory of a Man-Spiritual Food-" Filled with the Devil " Face to Face with Polygamy-Winter in Salt Lake City-A New Position-I
Produce My Treasures-My "Talkative Friend "-Comforting Visitors-" I
don't like Crying Women-Afraid of Opposition-Paid in Salt Chips and
Whetstones-Creating a Business-" Something Like Ihome "-A Bonnet for
Brigham's Favorite Wife-Running up a Little Bill-HIow the Honest Prophet
Paid It-Has lie any Conscience?-My Whole Fortune Gone.
HEN I arrived in Utah I found that nearly all the,Elders
with whom I had formerly been acquainted had more
than one wife there Many of these brethren called to see me,
and kindly insisted that I should visit their families; but this I
felt was almost an impossibility.
My whole nature rebelled at the thought of visiting where
there were several wives; for, in defiance of all the teaching
that I had listened to and the tyranny to which we had submitted, human nature would assert itself, and my womanly instincts revolted against the system. I could not endure the
thought of visiting those families in company with my husband.
I thought that perhaps sometimes I might venture alonze; but,
Oh, not with him,-no, not with him.  It was bad enough and
humiliating enough for me to witness by myself the degradation of my sex; but to do so in the presence of my husband
was more than I could calmly contemplate.  I knew that I 
'"HAVE YOU GOT THE BLUES?"
should not be able to control myself, and might probably say
some very unpleasant things, which I should afterwards regret;
for I so thoroughly loathed even the idea of Polygomy at that
time that I was filled with a desire to let every one know and
understand just what my feelings were on that subject.
I had left New York against my will, although I had not
openly rebelled. I had never reproached my husband about
it, for I felt that his lot was irrevocably cast with the Mormons:
I knew that when I married him, and it was of no use now for
me to repine. I must go on to the end-there was no help for
me. The journey across the Plains, and all the discoveries
which I had made, had not tended to soothe my rebellious
heart, and I am not quite sure that I did not sow by the way
a little discontent among the sisters. The idea, however, that
such was the case did not, I must admit, fill me with much
repentance. To my husband I had said very little, but I
think he would bear me witness that what I did say was said
effectively. Now when I was brought face to face with practical
Polygamy and could observe it in its most repulsive phases, I
hated it more than ever.
One day, not long after our arrival, as we were taking a walk
together, I saw across the road a man gesticulating after an
eccentric fashion and beckoning to us. Mr. Stenhouse said:
"that is Brother Heber C. Kimball;" and I looked again with
interest to see what that celebrated Apostle was like. I had
both heard and read a great deal about Brother Heber, and
what I had learned was not at all of a character to impress
me favorably-he had been so severe in his denunciation of
every woman who dared to oppose Polygamy. On the present
occasion his conduct was, I thought, anything but gentlemanly;
and when we crossed the road to him,-which on account of
his position in the Church-next to Brigham himself-we, of
course, were compelled to do,-my face must have betrayed
my feelings I am sure, for almost his first words after shaking
hands were: "Have you got the blues?"
My answer was ready in a moment-" I have had nothing
else ever since I came here."
341 
"I RATHER LIKE YOUR LOOKS."
"Well," he replied, "It is time that you should get rid of
them, and I am going to talk to you some day soon, for I rather
like your looks."
I did not like his looks much, however, nor was I at all
pleased with his manner.  I do not say that I was altogether
without blame in feeling thus, for I was prejudiced. Of course
I was prejudiced. From the first moment when I heard that
Polygamy was a doctrine of the Church, I was predisposed to
be dissatisfied with everything -I was henceforth not myself,
for the terrible apprehension of my own fate in the "Celestial
Order" had changed my whole nature, and that change of
itself was a great source of grief to me. I keenly realised
that I was no longer the light-hearted pleasant companion to
my husband that I had been, and many a time and oft I wished
for his sake that I could die, for I felt that I never could be
happy in Mormonism again.
How many times have I knelt by my husband's couch when
he was unconscious of it, and have wept bitter tears of sorrow,
earnestly praying to the Lord to subdue my rebellious heart,
and, if it were necessary, rather than I should be a continual
annoyance to my husband whom I loved with all my soul, that
every particle of love in my heart should be withered,so that
I might perchance, if without love, be able at least to do my
duty. I fully realised that in Polygamy there could be no real
love; and while my affections were still placed upon my husband, it was torture to live in a community where I was
compelled to listen to the "counsels" which were given to
him, day after day, regardless of my presence, to take another
wife. I was too proud to notice any ordinary allusion that
was made to the subject before me; but when the conversation
was turned in that direction by those who professed to be sincere friends and to entertain a kindly interest in my welfare, I
was compelled to listen and reply.
In my unhappy condition, I thought that perhaps I might
derive some consolation from the sermons in the Tabernaclesomething that might shed a softer light upon my rugged(
pathway. But instead of obtaining consolation, I heard that
342 
THE CROWNING GLORY OF CREATION!
which aroused every feeling of my soul to rebellion and
kindled again within me the indignation which I had been so
long struggling to conquer. I heard that woman was an inferior being, designed by the Lord for the especial glory and
exaltation of man, that she was a creature that should feeL
herself honored if he would only make her the mother of his
children-a creature who if very obedient and faithful through
all the trials and tribulations in life, might some day be.
rewarded  by becoming one of her  husband's queens, but
should even then shine only by virtue of the reflected light
derived from the glory of her spouse and lord. He was to be
her "saviour," for he was all in all to her; and it was through
him alone and at his will that she could obtain salvation. We
were informed that man was the crowning glory of creation,
for whom all things-woman included-were brought into
being; and that the chief object of woman's existence was to
help man to his great destiny.
Not a sentence; indeed, not a word did we ever hear as to
the possibility of womanly perfection and exaltation in her
own right; and not only so, but, as if this were not enough to
crush all ambition out of our souls, we were instructed in some
new views of marriage. The great object of marriage, we
were told, was the increase of children. Those diviner objects
-the companionship of soul; the devotion of a refined and
pure affection;  the indissoluble union of two existences
were never presented to the yearning hearts of those poor
women who listened to the miserable harangues of the Tabernacle: such aspirations had nothing to do with the hard,
cruel facts of their life in Polygamy.
And this I found was how the women of Utah were spiritually sustained. Seldom, indeed, was taught anything better,
but frequently much that was worse. If Nature, asserting its
right to a full return of love, should manifest itself and inspire
some of these poor wives to rebel against the lives which they
were compelled to lead in Polygamy, then it would be said, in
the language of the Tabernacle, that the women were "filled
with the devil," and that unless they repented speedily, they
343 
344    WHAT THEY TAUGHT IN THE TABERNACLE.
would "apostatise and go to hell;"-an assurance which was
scarcely necessary, for many of those poor souls were enduring as much as if they were there already. Or if some woman
was found objecting to Polygamy on account of its crushing
and degrading effects upon women generally, then, as I just
said, she was told in the coarse language of Brigham Young
himself that "such women had no business to complain; it
was quite enough honor for them to be permitted to bear
children to God's holy Priesthood."
I found, therefore, that the sermons in the Tabernacle were
not calculated to help me much spiritually. I had neither
friend nor counsellor on earth to whom I could turn for helpmy God alone remained to me. But, ah, how different were
my ideas of God then, from those which I entertained before
and since. Once I could look upon the beauties of nature
and the varied experiences of human life, and while my soul
was lifted up with devotion and gratitude, I could see the lov,
ing hand of my Heavenly Father in everything around me.
Now there was neither light nor beauty before my eyes-all
was dark and dreary; there was nothing to draw away my
heart from such sad thoughts as these. It was painfully clear
to my understanding, then as now, that in Mormonism woman
was to lose her personal identity. All that Christianity had
done to elevate her was to be ruthlessly set aside and trampled
under foot, and she was instantly to return to the position
which she occupied in the darkest ages of the world's
existence.
I had at that time the daily and hourly cares of a family
devolving upon me, and had not therefore much leisure to
spend in visiting my friends even if I had desired to do so.
Notwithstanding that, however, I had abundant opportunities
of observation; and thus my experience of Mormonism and
Polygamy in Utah is much the same as that of any Mormon
woman of ordinary sense; I only tell what others could relate if
they had the inclination to do so. It was not possible for me to
live in Salt Lake City without being brought face to face with
Polygamy in some shape or other every day of my life. Had 
PREPARING TO START AFRESHl.
it been otherwise, and if remaining at home would have kept
it from my view, I probably never should have had the courage to enter a house where it was practiced. To those who
know nothing of that degrading system this may seem rather
an exaggeration of feeling; and yet, even at that early day, I
had seen so much of the folly and weakness of the Mormon
brethren, both in London and New York, before we went to
Utah, and had witnessed so many evil results of their teachings, that it was with the greatest difficulty that I could control my feelings sufficiently to call upon any family where
there was more than one wife. And yet what I knew then
was nothing in comparison to what I afterwards witnessedyes, that I myself endured.
During the winter, although I visited very little, I attended
a good many parties at the Social Hall; but I did so more
from a wish to be agreeable to my husband than from any
pleasure that they afforded me, for life had lost its charm to
me, and I was not happy. How many times have I gazed
wistfully at those lofty mountains which surrounded the city,
and felt that they were indeed my prison walls. How bitterly
have I realised that I should never be able to go beyond then,
But in a new country, with a family to provide for, a mother
has not much time to waste in pip irg, even if it be for liberty
itself, and I would willingly draw the veil over that portion of
my life.
As my husband had beer on mission for so many years and
had spent all his time in f}.e service of the Church, with the
exception of a few bri.ef months before we left New York
when he was engaged on the staff of the New York HieraldI naturally enough thought that when we reached Zion his
occupation arould be gone.  There would be no need of
preaching to the Saints: on the contrary they would be able
to teach us; and we should have to find out what we could do
in this new country to support ourselves and our children. In
this I was not mistaken.
Now among the "absolutely necessary" things which I had
brought with me from New York, were about three hundred
345 
" THAT LOOKED A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS."
dollars' worth of millinery goods, which I had secreted among
our other properties, thinking that they would very probably
come in useful to the fair daughters of Zion- notwithstanding that the Elders had told me of fiery sermons delivered by
the Prophet himself condemning all feminine display, and that
the sisters would scorn to wear Gentile fashions. I knew my
own sex too well to believe that all this was strictly true, and
I felt certain that I should find, even among the Saints, some
weak sisters who would appreciate my thoughtfulness in
bringing such articles for their use. I had also noticed that
the American Elders themselves would frequently enquire
where they could buy the best gloves and the prettiest ribbons
and laces, and that looked a little suspicious.
Quite a number of such articles, therefore, found their way
into my list of "absolute necessaries," and I know that my
husband was secretly quite at a loss to know what had become
of a certain sum of money which he was aware I had obtained from the sale of some of our things in New York.
But my foresight in this instance was very useful to us when
we arrived in Zion.
One day when Mr. Stenhouse was absent seeking employment, I thought I would make a display of my treasures and
surprise him on his return. Accordingly, with the assistance of our faithful domestic, whom I had brought with me
across the Plains, and who had also lived with me in Switzerland, we contrived to place two or three planks in such a way
as to make a rough table on which to display the goods. I
had been secretly at work for about two weeks, trimming the
bonnets and hats, and making a number of head-dresses, such
as were worn in New York when  we  left; and, although
we had been three months on the Plains, and quite a month
in Utah, yet those bonnets and head-dresses were of the very
latest style to the ladies of Salt Lake City.
My. Swiss girl was quite a carpenter, and when my temporary table was arranged, I placed a pretty-looking cloth over
it to hide its defects, and then began to arrange the various
articles.  I found that I had a much finer assortment than I
'346 
I INTRODUCE MY " TALKATIVE FRIEND.
had imagined, for I had bought them at different times, and
had packed them away hurriedly, lest Mr.  Stenhouse or some
of the other Elders-for there were generally one or two in
the house-should object to my taking them. When my
table was filled, and I found that I had still more to display, I
was very much pleased, for I saw in my hats and bonnets,
flour, meat, and potatoes for my children, and I felt hopeful,
for one of the sisteis had assured me that I should be certain
to sell them.  The next thing to do was to advertise my stock
After some reflection, I remembered another of the sisters,
who was quite a good talker, and who felt very kindly towards
me.  I had known her in England-she had been in Utah
about three years, and her husband had by that time been
blessed with two other wives. She used to say that she had
no patience with a set of grumblingwomen who did not know
what was good for them. I do not think that the blessedness enjoyed by her husband was shared by the two wives,
for more forlorn-looking women I never saw.  My husband,
however, told me that this was none of my business, and I
believed him, of course, after the fashion of all good wives.
But to return.  This good sister, besides being an excellent
talker, had really nothing else to do besides visiting her neiglWbors, for the other wives now took entire charge of all the
household duties. So I made her a present of a new bonnet,
as I knew that then in two days my goods would be quite
sufficiently advertised; and in this I was not mistaken.
Almost the first visitors who called to see me were a lady
and her daughter. I talked freely to her and answered her
enquiries, and she told me that she herself had had some
experience in the business.  "In Salt Lake City," she said,
"I think you will not be able to sell those goods; they are too
fashionable for the people here, and there is no encouragement
given to any one in this business. I am afraid you will be
disappointed."
I bVlieved every word she said, and felt all my airy, hopeful
castles begin to crumble away. Before she left, however, she
very kindly offered to purchase all my goods at a low figure
347 
I1 DON'T LIKE CRYING WOMEN."
and thus relieve me of the anxiety and trouble of selling them.
But I had had a little experience in the world,-although probably I appeared to her somewhat innocent,-and I thought
that if she could sell them, there was a chance at least that I
also might be able to do so. At-any-rate, I resolved to try,
and I told her so when she left me with many kind wishes for
my success. But what she had said during her visit had
chilled my enthusiasm, and I pictured all my pretty newlymade articles becoming soiled and faded, with no one to buy
them; while the little ones, barefooted-like so many children
in Utah then-were running about crying for bread which I
could not buy them.  I felt bad, and-if I must confess it-I
sat down and had a good cry.
Just at that moment I heard a knock at the door, and
hastily drying my eyes, I opened it, and there stood my talkative friend.
"Stop crying!" she exclaimed, "What is the matter, my
dear? Oh do stop crying. I don't like crying women: we
see so many of them among the Saints of God that it is really
a shame and a disgrace. Tell me what is the matter?
Has your husband got another wife, or are you afraid that
he won't be able to get one?  Come, tell me!"
All this was uttered in a breath, and without the possibility
of my putting in a word by way of reply or remonstrance. At
last I told her that I had just had a visit from one of the
sisters and her daughter, whom I described.
"I know," she said, "I met her as I was coming here.  Do
you know who she is?"
"No," I replied, " I do not think she told me her name; she
simply came to look at the goods."
"And  did she tell you that they would sell well, and
that they are the best investment that you could have
made?"
"Quite the contrary," I said, "She discouraged me so much
that I could not help shedding tears."
"Well now," she answered, "that was Mrs. C......, one
of our milliners here; and you suppose she was going to en
348 
PAID IN SALT-CHIPS AND WHETSTONES    I
courage you to set Vp an opposition shop, do you? If you do,
why, you've got something yet to learn." Indeed I felt that I
had got a great deal to learn.
"Now I have come to tell you quite a different story," she
said, "This very afternoon you will have at least a dozen ladies
here; and ladies, too, who have got the money to pay for what
they have, and who won't pay you in salt chips and whetstones."
"Do they ever pay in such things?" I enquired.
"Why certainly they do. That is the kind of pay that the
good Saints generally expect their poor brethren and sisters
to be satisfied with, and to feed their hungry children upon.
But I say that this is wrong. Not that I want to set myself
up as a judge in Zion, or that I should criticise the actions of
the brethren-God forbid! But when I see the rich brethren
grinding the faces of the poor in that way, why, I say that it is
wrong. But you must not take any such pay as that. You
may not always get money, but you can at least get flour,
potatoes, and molasses. Now, I tell you that you are going to
sell every article that you have got, and I shall take pleasure
in recommending you and talking about it. Why, I've been to
about two score people already;-but, there! I see your hugband coming, and I must go!" My husband, indeed, was
there. He was not very fond of my talkative friend, and
passed her by with a polite salutation only; but when he saw
what I had been doing the light dawned upon his mind-he
no longer wondered what had become of the dollars in New
York, and-astonished at my success-he congratulated me
upon the good use to which I had put them.
After this interview I felt quite encouraged, and I very soon
found that my friend's predictions were correct. I had no
difficulty in selling, and I created quite a little business,
although we lived a considerable distance from Main Street.
And what with my efforts, and some employment which
my husband obtained, we contrived to get through our first
winter in Salt Lake City.
But I anticipate.
349 
350     THE MILLINERY BILL OF BRIGHAMeS WIVES.
One day my husband informed me that there was a house
about to be vacated shortly, and that Brigham Young had told
him we had better take it. It was pleasantly situated near
the Tabernacle, and, as houses then were, it was quite a desirable residence.  We  had it thoroughly cleaned, and then
moved in.  When  I arrived in the evening I found that Mr.
Stenhouse, with the assistance of our faithful Swiss girl, had
arranged everything as the goods arrived from the other
house; and the place looked so clean, and there was such a
bright fire burning that I felt that we now had really something like a home, and my heart was filled with gratitude.
Soon after our establishment in our new home, Brigham
sent for me and asked me to make a handsome bonnet for his
then favorite wife Emmeline. He left it entirely to my taste;
I was to make just what I pleased, so that it suited her and
gave satisfaction.
I made my bonnet; and when I presented it, Brigham
Young was so pleased that he immediately gave me an order
to make one for each of his wives. I was very much pleased at
this, for we needed furniture and many other necessaries very
badly, and I thought that this would enable me to get them. I
expected, of course, that my account would be paid in money,
for I did not suppose that the Prophet of the Lord would
offer me chips or whetstones:-he could afford to pay cash,
and, of course, would do so. He had furnished me with some
material out of his own store-for Brigham Young had a drygoods' and grocery store of his own at that time-and I was
to furnish the remainder.  It was very little indeed that he
supplied, and therefore my account was likely to amount to a
considerable sum, for almost every wife had at least one
bonnet which she wished made over with new trimmings,
besides the new one.
I worked constantly for three weeks, with the assistance of
two girls, to each of whom I paid six dollars a week besides
board. This was a difficult thing for me to do at that time in
Utah, for money was seldom seen there then; but I was
rejoicing in the prospect of the comfortable new furniture 
HOW BRIGHAM PAID FOR HIS WIVES' BONNETS!  35I
which I should have when it was all done. Furniture at that
time was very expensive; there was nothing better than white
pine articles-stained or painted. The commonest kind of
wooden rocking-chair cost fifteen dollars, and common painted
wooden chairs were six dollars a piece, with everything else in
proportion. This being our first winter, we had not been able
to get much, and I thought I would devote the proceeds of
the work I was doing for Brigham to fitting up the house a
little; and, with what I earned from my other customers,
I contrived to pay my help, so as to have all the rest clear.
All was completed, and great satisfaction expressed at the
result of my labors. So I asked my husband to present my
account and, if possible, get it settled-it amounted to about
two hundred and seventy-five dollars, although I had dealt
very liberally with the Prophet, and had charged for the goods
but little more than they cost me.  When he returned, I
hastened to meet him, for I had partly selected the furniture
and I wanted' to go and purchase it. But I was like poor Perrette, the milkmaid, who counted her chickens a little too
soon; for Mr. Stenhouse told me that Brother Brigham had
given orders that the amount should be credited to us for
titlzizg!  What a shock this was to me; for that sum, smallas it may appear, was my whole fortune at the time, and it
was gone at one sweep! "Can it be possible," I said, "that
he can be so mean as that? Where can his conscience be?
or has he any; to deprive me of my hard earnings in this
way. He shall not do it-I will make him pay me."
My indignation was so great that I did not reflect how
imprudent I was to talk thus of the Prophet of the Lord; but
my husband said: "What can you do? You cannot help
yourself. You can do nothing but submit. Let us try to
forget it; or, if not, it will perhaps be a lesson to us." But I
did not forget it and never could, although I tried very hard;
and when many months had passed, and I no longer suffered
from the effects of my loss, I still remembered it-and I
always shall remember the way in which Brigham paid for his
wives' bonnets. 
CHAPTER XXV.
MYSTERIES OF THE ENDOWMENT HOUSE:-FEARFUL OATHS
AND SECRET CEREMONIES.
Saintly Privileges-The Origin of the Endowments-The Fraternity of the
Saints-Story of the Mysteries-Shocking Doings in Days Gone By-Whis perings of Terrible Deeds-How the Mormons Mind Their Own Business The Temple Garments-Inside the Endowment House-The Book of Life Our Robes and Our Oil Bottles-The Washings and Anointings-The High Priestess-Invoking Blessings-The Mysterious Garment-A  New Name The Garden of Eden-An Extraordinary Representation-The Duplicate of
the Devil-The First Degree-Terrible and Revengeful Oaths-The Punish.
ment of the Apostate-Pains and Penalties of Betrayal-Grips and Pass words-The Mysterious Mark-Singular Apostolic Sermon-The Second
Degree-Secret and Significant Signs-Behind the Veil-The Third Degree
-Celestial Matrimony-Eight Hours of "Mystery "-I Justify Myself.
OT many weeks after our arrival in Salt Lake City, my
N     husband told me that we might now enjoy the privilege
of going through the Endowment House.
This was intended as a great favor to us, on the part of the
authorities, for most people have to wait a long while before
receiving their Endowments; but my husband's influence
and position in the Church was, I presume, the reason why
we were admitted so soon.
Now, I had heard so much of the Endowments and the:
Endowment House that I quite dreaded to pass through:this
ordeal. The idea of the whole ceremony was, that thereby we
should receive the special grace of God; be united-man and 
THE MYSTERIES OF THE ENDOWMENT HOUSE.
woman-making  one perfect creature; receive our inheritance as children of God; and, in fact, be made partakers of
the plenitude of every blessing.
All this sounds very well as a statement, but it is only the
statement which would be made from the ideal Mormon
standpoint. I had heard other things about the Endowments
which did not present such a favorable impression, and
although I do not wish to record all the absurd stories which
were, and are, current among the Gentiles, I think it only
right that I should state what my own views were before we
received our privileges.
Joseph Smith, the Prophet, and very many of his early
associates belonged to the ancient and honorable order of
Freemasons. When he was initiated into the mysteries of
that society, and what position he attained therein, I do not
know; but one thing is certain, that when he, under the
influence of his own peculiar religious fanaticism, endeavored
to engraft upon Freemasonry some of the leading ideas of the
new religion, he and those connected with him were publicly
disavowed by the lodges in the West. I cannot without some
trouble give here any documentary evidence, but I may be
permitted, perhaps, to state that I have myself seen newspaper
of that period-and the West then was a very primitive
country-which contained formal official declarations duly
signed by respectable persons, stating that Joseph Smith and
others were no longer to be considered in fellowship with any
of the Western lodges.
The idea of a bond of brotherhood-secret and indissoluble
-seems ever to have been present in Joseph's mind. Whether
the germ of this idea was derived from Masonry, or not, is of
little moment. Gentlemen who certainly ought to know have
assured me that such a notion was altogether ridiculous; but
of that, as a lady, I am, of course, not competent to judge. It
is, however, quite clear that the clannish or fraternal spirit
among the Mormons has always pre-eminently distinguished
them, and is just as noticeable at the present day as it was in
Joseph's time.
353 
354     TIlE MORMON IDEA OF LEGAL MARRIAGE.
It has always been commonly reported, and to a great
extent believed, that the mysteries of the Endowment House
were only a sort of imitation-burlesque, it might be-of the
rites of Masonry; but I need hardly say that this statement
when examined by the light of facts is altogether ungrounded
and absurd, as the reader will presently perceive. Still, the
notion that some deeply mysterious ceremony was celebrated
by the initiated has always possessed a charm to Gentile as
well as Mormon minds, and the most extravagant statements
have been made in reference to the Endowment House; in
fact, to such an extent has this been the case, that most, if not
all, of the Saints who have passed through the House have
looked forward to the period of their initiation as a most
impressive and painful ordeal, and the influence of this feeling
I myself fully realised.
I knew well that no marriage was considered binding unless
it had been celebrated in that place. I knew that the Saints,
however long they might have been wedded, were under the
necessity of being reunited there before they could be considered lawfully married and their children legitimate. According to the highest Mormon Authority no marriage is valid
unless  the ceremony is performed  in the Temple  The
Temple is not yet built, and as Joseph, the Prophet said, "No
fellow can be damned for doing the best he knows how," the
Saints meanwhile do "the next best thing," and are married
in the Endowment House.  I knew that there and then the
faithful were  said to be "endowed" with their heavenly
inheritance.  I saw how abso?utely nieedfzil it was that my
husband and myself should become partakers of those mysteries; but I was influenced by the strange stories which I
had heard of unhallowed and shameful doings in that same
Endowment House, and consequently I feared to enter in.
My  fears  were not,  however, altogether groundless  or
visionary.  It has been whispered-falsely perhaps-that in
that Endowment House scenes have been enacted so fearful
that words would falter on the lips of those who told the tale
concerning them.  I have heard of such things from men of 
WHISPERINGS OF TERRIBLE DEEDS.
integrity and honor; but they were not eye-witnesses of
what they related, and they could not, or would not, give me
their authorities.  One thing I am certain of;-if such hor rible deeds were ever perpetrated within those walls there
remains no living witness to testify of them. The lips of
who alone could tell the whole truth are sealed in silence
which the trump of doom alone shall break.
When I refer the reader to what I have already. spoken  of
the Blood-Atonement, and of the "Reformation," I think that
that plain statement of facts renders it clear to any ordinary
intelligence, that, if in the Endowment House no such deeds
of darkness were ever perpetrated, it was not because such
things were contrary to the spirit of Mormonism as taught by
Brigham Young and the Apostles, nor was it because such
things had never been done with the full approbation of the
leaders of the Church, but on account of some accidental
reason, into which it is needless to enquire.
It was, of course, no fear of any personal violence or any
painful disclosures in that respect that made me reluctant to
receive my Endowments, for at that time I was by profession
apparently a good Mormon; —if I had my doubts and mis-s
givings, I had them in common with nine-tenths of the Mormon women, and had therefore nothing to fear. The true
cause of my reluctance was of a more delicate and personal
nature. I had been informed that, if I refused to go, my husband
could not go alone, he would be compelled to take another wife
and go with her.  This was not all.  I found that it was quite
common for the Elders to take a second wife when they took
their first Endowments, and thus, as they coarsely expressed
it, "kill two birds with one stone."  Moreover, I had heard of
men who feared to introduce Polygamy into their households,
presenting to their wives, while going through the House, a
young girl as their intended bride, feeling sure that the wife
would not dare to make a scene before the Assembly. How
could I know that my husband also had not such an idea in his
mind?  True, I trusted him implicitly, and did not believe it
possible that he could deceive me. But had not men who
22
355, 
PREPARING FOR THE CEREMONY.
were universally known for their integrity and honor acted in,
the same way to their wives; and with so many evidences of
the best and most honest natures being corrupted by the
unrighteous teachings of their religion, could I be blamed for
doubting him whom I loved best?  Wives out of Utah doubt
their own husbands, and very frequently have the best of
reasons for doing so, but what woman, other than a Mormon,
ever lived in constant dread that her husband, who she knew
was devotedly attached to her, would do to her the cruellest
wrong that man can inflict and woman can endure, for the
sake of his religion and in the holy Saviour's name?
My mind was agitated by conflicting thoughts. Sometimes
fear and apprehension, sometimes indignation and hatred
would make me feel perfectly reckless. Then love to my
husband, and thoughts of our little ones calmed my, troubled
mind, and I was tranquil, until excited by some injury which I
witnessed, when once more brooding over the cruel wrongs
which, in God's name, had been inflicted upon the women of
Utah, my anger would revive again.
There was also another reason why I particularly objected
to passing through the Endowment House. I had been told
many strange and revolting stories about the ceremonies which
were there performed, for it is said that in the Nauvoo Temple
the most disgraceful things were done. About what was done
at Nauvoo I can say nothing, as it was before my time, but
still it is only fair to say, that people who in every other relation in life I should have deemed most reliable and trustworthy
were my informants respecting those strange stories. Of the
Endowments in Utah I can, of course, speak more positively,
as I myself passed through them; and I wish to say most distinctly that, although the initiation of the Saints into "The
Kingdom," appears now to my mind as a piece of the most
ridiculous absurdity, there was nevertheless nothing in it indecent or immoral;-of which the reader himself shall presently be the judge.
It is an invariable rule among the Mormons, as I have before
intimated, for.every man or woman to mind his or her own busi
356 
WHY THE SECRET IS KEPT.
ness, and nothing else. In this respect they certainly present
a good example to the Gentile world. Thus it was, that until
I myself went through the Endowments, I was totally ignorant
of what they were; although, of course, so many people with
whom I had daily intercourse could so easily have enlightened
me if they had been thus minded. With apostates, I, of course,
had nothing to do; and, had it been otherwise, it is most probable that they would have been so much ashamed of the folly
of the whole performance that they would not have spoken
explicitly about it. Besides this, every Mormon's mouth was
closed by the oath of that same Endowment House-the
penalty of breaking which was death-a penalty which no one
doubted would be sternly enforced. Thus, totally in the dark,
and remembering only the strange stories told about "washings" and "anointings" and an imitation of the Garden of
Eden, with Adam and Eve clothed in their own innocence
alone, it can be no wonder that any modest woman should wish
to evade all participation in such scenes.
I spoke to my husband about it, and he tried to reassure me,
but what he said had rather a contrary effect.
Before we left England, when speaking of these ceremonies,
my husband told me that they were simply a privilege and a matter of choice. But what a choice! I might go or refuse to
go; but, if I refused, he must-if he went through it all-take
another wife in my place-and, as I knew, there would be no
difficulty in finding one. I should in consequence be known as
a rebellious woman; annoyance and indignity would be heaped
upon me; while within my own home I should be compelled
to occupy the position of second wife-as the one who is
married first in the Endowment House is considered the first
wife and has the control of everything. My husband told
me that now he was most anxious to go:-he had already been
notified three times that such was his privilege, and there were,
he said, good reasons why we ought gladly to accept the opportunity. It was an honor, he said, for which many people
had waited for years.
My husband reminded me that we had been married by a
357 
THE TEMPLE ROBES.
Gentile and while living among Gentiles, and that-as I said
before-our marriage was not valid, and our children were
not legitimate. Only those children of ours who were born
after the ceremony in the Endowment House would be legitimate,-the others were outcasts from the "Kingdom" unless
we adopted them after our initiation, and thus made them
heirs. In any case, poor children! they could never be considered the real heirs-they could only be "heirs by adoption."
So I agreed to go, trying to persuade myself that it was a
sacred duty; for although my faith in Mormonism had been
roughly shaken, I still believed that its origin was divine.
As we had been but a few weeks in Utah we had not prepared our "Temple garments," not thinking that we should be
called upon so soon to go through. We had therefore to borrow, as most people do, for the occasion.
The Temple robe, which is a long, loose, flowing garment,
made of white linen or bleached muslin, and reaching to the
ancle, had been placed upon us just before we took the oaths.
It was gathered to a band about twelve inches long, which
rested on the right shoulder, passed across the breast, and came
together under the left arm, and was then fastened bya linen
belt. This leaves the left arm entirely free. The veil consists
of a large square of Swiss muslin, gathered in one corner so
as to form a sort of cap to fit the head; the remainder falls
down as a veil. The men wear the same kind of under garment as the women, and their robes are the same, but their
head-dress is a round piece of linen drawn up with a string
and a bow in front, something after the fashion of a Scotch
cap. All good Mormons, after they have received their first
Endowments, get whole suits of Temple robes made on purpose for them so that they may be ready for use at any time
when they are needed. All marriages in the Endowment
House are performed in these robes, and in them all Saints
who have received their Endowments are buried. Besides our
robes we were instructed to take with us a bottle of the best
olive oil.
At seven o'clock in the morning of the day appointed, we
358 
INSIDE THE ENDOWMENT HOUSE.
presented ourselves at the door of the Endowment House, and
were admitted by Brother Lyon, the Mormon poet. Everything within was beautifully neat and clean, and a solemn
silence pervaded the whole place. The only sound that could
be heard was the splashing of water, but whence the sound
proceeded we could not see. In spite of myself, a feeling of
dread and uncertainty respecting what I had to go through
would steal over my mind, and I earnestly wished that the day
was over.
We waited patiently for a little while, and presently a man
entered and seated himself at a table placed there for that purpose, upon which was a large book. He opened the book, and
then calling each person in turn, he took their names and ages
and the names of their fathers and mothers, and carefully entered each particular in the book. Our bottles of oil were
then taken from us, and we were supposed to be ready for the
ceremony.
First we were told to take off our shoes and leave them in
the ante-room, and then to take up our bundles and pass into
another room beyond. This was a large bath-room which was
divided down the middle by a curtain of heavy material placed
there for the purpose of separating the men from the women'
Here my husband left me-he going to the men's and I to the
women's division. In the bath-room were two or three large
bathing tubs supplied by streams of hot and cold water. We
were as much concealed from the men as if we had been in an
entirely separate room, and everything was very quiet and
orderly.
Miss Eliza R. Snow, the poetess, and a Mrs. Whitney, were
the officiating attendants on that occasion. The former conducted me to one of the bathing tubs, and placing me in it, she
proceeded to wash me from the crown of my head to the soles
of my feet. As she did this she repeated various formulas to
the effect that I was now washed clean from the blood of this
generation and should never, if I remained faithful, be partaker
in the plagues and miseries which were about to come upon
the earth. When I had thus been washed clean, she wiped
359 
360  WASHINGS AND ANOINTINGS:-A MYSTERIOUS GARMENT.
me dry, and then taking a large horn filled with the olive oil
which we had brought, she anointed me. The oil was poured
from the horn by Mrs. Whitney into the hand of Eliza Snow,
who then applied it to me. The horn was said to be the horn
of plenty which, like the widow's cruse of oil, would never fail
as long as the ordinance should continue to be administered.
In addition to the crown of my head, my eyes, ears and mouth
were also anointed; my eyes that they might be quick to see,
my ears that they might be apt at hearing, and my mouth that
I might with wisdom speak the words of eternal life. She
also anointed my feet, that they might be swift to run in the
ways of the Lord. I was then given a certain garment to
put on.
Now this garment is one peculiar to the Mormon people.
It is made so as to envelop the whole body and it is worn
night and day. I was told that after having once put it on, I
must never wholly take it off before putting on another, but
that I should change one half at a time, and that if I did so
I should be protected from disease and even from death itself;
for the bullet of an enemy would not penetrate that garment,
and that from it even the dagger's point should be turned
aside. It has been said that the Prophet Joseph carelessly
left off this peculiar garment on the day of his death, and that
had he not done so the rifles of his assassins would have been
harmless against him.
When thus arrayed, I proceeded to put on a white nightdress and skirt, stockings, and white linen shoes. A new name
was then whispered into my ear, which I was told I must never
mention to any living soul except my husband in the Endowment House. This name was taken from the Bible, and I was
given to understand that it would be the name whereby I
should be admitted into the celestial kingdom. This was of
course very gratifying. A circumstance, however, occurred
which took from me all the pride which might have been mine
in the possession of a new name. There was among our number a deaf woman; Mrs. Whitney had to tell her her name
once or twice over, loud enough for me to hear, and thus I 
A VOICE FROM BEHIND THE CURTAIN.
found that her new name, as well as mine, was Sarah. To
'mnake the matter worse, another sister whispered: "Why that
is my name too." This entirely dispelled any enthusiasm
which otherwise I might have felt. I could well understand
that I might yet become a Sarah in Israel, but if we all were
Sarahs, there would not be much distinction or honor in being
called by that name. As a matter of course I supposed that
the men would all become Abrahams.
Our washing and anointed being now over, we were ready
for the initiation-there were about fifteen couples in all.
A voice from behind the curtain asked Miss Snow if we
were ready, and was answered in the affirmative. We were
then arranged in a row, the curtain was drawn aside, and we
stood face to face with the men who had, of course, on their
side of the curtain been put through the same ordeal. I felt
dreadfully nervous, for I did not know what was coming next,
and I could not quite dismiss from my mind the stories that I
had heard about these mysteries. But in spite of my nervousness, curiosity was strong in me at that moment-as it
was, I suppose, in the others; for, as soon as the curtain was
drawn aside, we all cast our eyes in the direction of the men.
They, as might be expected, were looking in our direction, aind
when I beheld them, I must say that my sympathies were
drawn out towards the poor creatures. However little vanity
or personal pride they possessed, they must have felt it
unpleasant to have to appear in the presence of ladies in such
a dress-or rather undress; and notwithstanding the solemn
meaning of the ceremony, there was just the ghost of a smile
upon our faces as we looked at each other and dropped our
eyes again. To any one who did not feel as we did the religious nature of the initiation, the scene must have appeared
perfectly ludicrous. In fact, some of us felt it so. One sister,
just as the curtain was drawn up and we came in full view of
our lords, cried out: "Oh dear, oh dear, where shall I go?
What shall I do?" This, as may be supposed, caused a laugh
which was, of course, immediately suppressed.
We could see how the men looked, but of our own appear
36I 
362   A LUDICROUS SCENE: —VANITY AT A DISCOUNT.
ance we could not so easily judge. Certainly, we must nave
looked anything but handsome in our white garments and
with the oil trickling down our faces and into our eyes, making
them smart and look red. There was nothing, however, for
us to do but to submit quietly and make the best of it we
could. Ashamed as I was, I thought I might venture to look
at my husband-there could be no harm in that;-but when
I saw his demure-looking countenance and his efforts to keep
his clothing in order, I thought I should be compelled to laugh
outright, for I could see that his thoughts were more occupied
about his personal appearance than with the solemnity of the
occasion. The men were all dressed in the same kind of garment as the women:-drawers and shirt all in one-very
much like those which are used for children to sleep inand over that an ordinary white shirt, such as men always
wear;-that, with socks and white linen shoes, completed their
toilet.
Clad after this interesting fashion, we sat opposite to each
other for several minutes, and then my husband and myself
were instructed to come forward and kneel at the altar while
all the rest remained standing. It is the custom thus to select
two persons, and we were either picked out by chant, or it
might be, as my husband was thought a good deal of by the
authorities, that they considered he would feel honored by the
preference.
Suddenly a voice was heard speaking to some one, who also
replied. This voice from the unseen was supposed to be the
voice of Elohim in conversation with Jehovah, and the words
that were used were much the same as those contained in the
first chapter of the book of Genesis describing the creation
of the world.   Finally, Jehovah  and Elohim declare their
intention to come down and visit the earth. This they do,
and pronounce all that they behold very good; but they declare
that it is necessary that one of a higher order of intelligence
than the brute creation should be placed in the world to
govern and control all else.
Michael the Archangel is now called, and he is placed upon 
THE DEVIL MAKES HIS APPEARANCE.
the earth under the name of Adam, and power is given him
over all the beasts of the field, the fowls of the air, and the
fishes of the sea. Moreover the fruits of the earth are all
given to him for his sustenance and pleasure, but he is strictly
charged, as in Bible-story, not to eat of one particular tree
which stands in the midst of the garden. This tree is represented by a small real evergreen, and a few bunches of dried
raisins are hung upon it as fruit.
It is now discovered that it is not good for man to be alone;
Elohim and Jehovah, therefore, hold another conversation
upon that subject, and they finally determine to give a companion to Adam. They, therefore, cause a deep sleep to fall
upon Michael-or Adam as he is now called-and they prepare to operate upon him. Here we were all instructed to
assume the attitude of deep sleep by dropping our heads upon
our breasts.  Elohim and Jehovah then came down and go
through the motions of removing a rib from the side of the
sleeper, which said rib appears immediately upon the scene in
the person of Eliza R. Snow. Elohim and Jehovah are generally represented by two of the Twelve Apostles. When
Brigham is present he plays a prominent part.
And now the devil makes his appearance in the person of
W. W. Phelps.  Phelps used always to personate the devil in
the endowments, and the role suited him admirably. He is
dead now, but whether it has made any difference in his status,
I cannot tell, nor do I know who has succeeded him in his
office. The devil wears a very tight-fitting suit of black muslin, with knee breeches and black stockings and slippers. This
dress had all the appearance of a theatrical costume, and the
man himself looked as much like one might imagine the devil
would look, as he possibly could. He began by trying to
scrape acquaintance with Eve, whom he meets while taking a
walk in the garden. The innocent, unsuspecting woman is
fascinated by his attentions. Father Adam-who seems to
have had a touch of the Mormon about him-perhaps was not
the most attentive of husbands; or he may have fallen into
the same error into which many of his sons have fallen since
363 
364 THE GARDEN OF EDEN -TAKING THE "FIRST DEGREE."
-neglecting to pay the same attentions after marriage as he
was wont to before-and left his young wife to the mercy of
the tempter. However that may be, Satan and Eve are soon
discovered in conversation together, and Eve appears to be
particularly pleased with Satan. At length he offers her some
of the fruit of the forbidden tree, and after some little demur
she accepts it and eats thereof.
Then the devil leaves her, Adam makes his appearance, and
Eve persuades him also to eat of the fruit of the tree. After
this they make a dumb show of perceiving their condition,
and an apron of white linen is produced, on which are sewn
pieces of green silk, in imitation of fig leaves, and in these they
both attire themselves.
Then all the brethren and sisters produced similar aprons
which they had brought with them on purpose, and these they
put on, as Adam and Eve had already done. Elohim now
appeared again, and called Adam; but Adam was afraid, and
hid himself in the garden with Eve. The curse was now pronounced upon the serpent-the devil-who reappears upon
his hands and knees, making a hissing noise as one might suppose a serpent would do. We were then all driven out of the
Garden of Eden, into another room which represefnted the
world;-and this ended the "First Degree."
We were now supposed to be out in the world, earning our
daily bread by the sweat of our brows, and we were informed
that although we had been driven out from the presence of the
Lord, yet a plan of salvation would be devised for us, by
which we should be enabled to return to our first estate.
We were to wait patiently until this plan should be disclosed
to us.
There was here such a mixture of persons and events that
I could not exactly follow the idea that was intended to be
conveyed, if there was any idea at all. Men representing the
ancient prophets entered, and gave instructions to the people to
prepare themselves for the first coming of our Saviour upon
earth. Then we were taught certain pass-words and grips;
and then we were all arranged in a circle. The women 
THE TERRIBLE OATH OF SECRECY:-THE TRAITOR'S PENALTY. 365
covered their faces with their veils, and we all kneeled down,
and, with our right hands uplifted towards heaven, we* took the
solemn oath of obedience and secrecy.  We swore that by
every means in our power we would seek to avenge the death
of Joseph Smith, the Prophet, upon the Gentiles who had
caused his murder, and that we would teach our children to
do so;-we swore, that without murmur or questioning, we
would implicitly obey the commands of the priesthood in
everything;-we swore that we would not commit adulterywhich was explained to mean the taking of wives without the
permission of the holy Priesthood;;-and we swore that we
would never, under any circumstances, reveal that which transpired in the Endowment House.
The penalty for breaking this oath, which was worded in
the most startling and impressive way, was then explained to
us.-The throat of the traitor was to be cut from ear to ear;
his heart and tongue were to be cut out; and his bowels
were-while he was yet living-to be torn from him. In
the world to come, everlasting damnation would be his
portion.
Let not the reader think that this was merely an imaginary
penalty, or that it was expressed merely for the purpose ef
frightening the weak-minded, for I have already shown that
punishments quite as horrible as that have been deliberately
meted out to the Apostate, the Gentile, and the suspected
Saint by the Mormon Priesthood. The innocent blood which
cries for vengeance against Brigham Young and some of the
leaders of the Church is sufficient to weigh the purest spirit
which stands before the throne of God down to the nethermost abysses of hell.
After these fearful oaths had been taken, with due solemnity, we were instructed in the various signs representing
those dreadful penalties; and we were also given a "grip"
peculiar to this degree.
* I myself made a movement with my hand-for I believed that my life was
at stake and I dared not do otherwise. The words of the oath I did not utter.
[See explanation at the end of the chapter.] 
366    THE MYSTERIES OF THE " SECOND DEGREE."
We  were next entertained by, a long address from the
Apostle Heber C. Kimball. Never in my life-except from
Brigham Young-had I listened to such disgusting language,
and I trust I never shall be compelled to listen to anything
like it again. Brother Kimball always used to pride himself
upon using "plain" language, but that day I think he surpassed himself; he seemed to take quite a pleasure in saying
anything which could make us blush. The subject of which
he discoursed was the married life in the "Celestial Order;"
he also laid great stress upon the necessity of our keeping
silence concerning all that we had witnessed in the Endowment House-even husbands to their wives, and wives to their
husbands were not to utter a single word.  With the sermon
ended our "Second Degree."
We were now taken to another room for the purpose of passing through the "Third Degree" of the Order of the Melchisedec Priesthood.  When. we were all arranged on one side
against the wall, a number of individuals entered who were
supposed to represent the ministers of every denomination and
religion upon the face of the earth. The devil also makes his
appearance again. The ministers set forth the various claims
of their respective creeds,-each one striving to show Flat his
is the purest and the best,-but the devil sows division and
hatred among them, and a good deal of confusion ensues.
Then came in personages representing Peter, James, and
John, the Apostles, and they commanded ministers, devil, and
all, to depart. They then appeared to organise a new Church
in which the true principles of the Gospel were to be taught;
our Temple robes were also all changed from the right
shoulder to the left, indicating that we were now in the true
Church, and that we were to be absolutely and in every way
dependent upon the priesthood. Another grip was then given
to us, and thus we received the third degree of the Order of
Melchisedec Priesthood. In that room was a division made of
bleached muslin; in the division a door and in the door a hole,
with a lap of muslin over it, through which to pass the hand.
Whoever was on the other side could see us, but we could not 
GRIPS AND PASSWORDS OF THE "THIRD DEGREE." 367
see them. The men first approached this door. A person
representing the Apostle Peter appeared at the opening and
demanded who was there. He was told that some one desired
to enter. Hands came through the opening in the muslin
curtain, and mysterious fingers cut a mark on the left breast
of the men's shirts-one mark also over the abdomen, and one
over the right knee-which marks the women religiously imitated upon their own garments when they got home. The
applicant was then told to put his hand through the opening,
and give the last grip belonging to the "Third Degree," and
mention his new name. He was then permitted to enter.
This was called "going behind the veil." When the men
were all admitted, the women were suffered to approach, and
were passed through by their own husbands. When a woman
has no husband she is passed through by one of the brethren,
and to those who are not going to be married or sealed for
eternity here the ceremonies end.
Now, as I before stated, according to Mormon ideas, we had
never before been legally married. It was therefore necessary that we should now pass through that ceremony. We
accordingly were conducted to a desk where our names were
entered and we were then passed into another room. In that
room was a long, low altar, covered with red velvet, and an
arm chair placed at one end of it, in which sat Brigham
Young. My husband knelt at one side of the altar and I at
the other, with our hands clasped above it in the last grip
which had been given to us. Then the ordinary formula of
marriage was gone through with, and we were informed that
we were sealed for time and for eternity.
Thus we passed through the mysteries of the Endowment
House, and at three o'clock in the afternoon we found ourselves at liberty to return home. The various ceremonies had
occupied eight hours.
When we reached home, my husband said: "Well, what do
you think of the Endowments?" But I did not dare to
answer him truthfully at that time. Had I done so, I should
have told him that I was ashamed and disgusted. Never in 
368  "WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE ENDOWMENTS.?
all my life did I suffer such humiliation as I did that day; for
the whole time I was under the impression that those who
officiated looked upon us as a set of silly dupes, and I felt
annoyed to think that I dared not tell them so. So I told my
husband that I would rather not speak about it, and we never
have spoken of it to this day. What were his own feelings
about the matter, I do not know, for Mormon wives are taught
never to pry into their husband's feelings or meddle with their
actions. But notwithstanding all my feelings in reference to
the Endowments, so foolish was I, that when I afterwards
heard the brethren and sisters talking about the happiness
which they had experienced while going through, and saying
how privileged we ought to feel at being in Zion among the
Saints of God, secure in His Kingdom where we could bring
up our children in the fear of the Lord, I began again to think
that the fault was all in myself, and that it was I who was
wrong and not the Endowments. I wondered how, with such
a rebellious heart, I should ever get salvation, and I mourned
to think that I had not accepted everything with the simplicity of a child.
Some time after our initiation I met the Apostle Hgber C.
Kimball, and he asked me how I felt upon the occasion. I
frankly told him all, but added that I regretted feeling so.
He said: "I shall see if you cannot go through again; it is
not just the thing, but I shall try and make the opportunity."
Nothing more, however, was said about it. But that which
troubled me most was the fact that while the oaths were being
administered, I dropped my hand and inwardly vowed that I
would never subscribe to such things, and at the same time
my heart was filled with bitter opposition. This, although I
did it involuntarily-my better nature rising within me and
overcoming my superstition-I thought at the time was sinful.
I now, however, rejoice that such was the case; for not
having actually vowed to keep secret those abominable oaths,
I can say, without any cavil or equivocation, that I have
broken no promise and betrayed no trust by the discoveries
which I have just made. 
"NO ONE CAN CHARGE ME WITH TREACHERY."   369
I wish distinctly to make this statement. Others have more
or less divulged the  oaths of the Endowment House, and
have excused themselves with muck doubtful sophistry. I
NEVER really took the oaths, although present, and therefore
no one can charge me with treachery.
At a later date, some of the sisters kindly suggested that
the spirit of the Evil One had entered into me at that time.
But this was at least a very inconsistent statement, for the
Mormons believe that no evil spirit can enter into the Endowment House.
Of one thing I am certain-I was then indeed a miserable
slave, with no one to stretch forth a kindly hand and strike
away the fetters of my mental degradation and lead me forth
into light and liberty.
Al 
CHAPTER XXVIo
SECRETS OF SAINTLY SPOUSES:-A VISIT FROM MY TALK                      ATIVE FRIEND.
I Receive Congratulations-A "Bit of Advice "-How a Woman found Wives
for Her Husband-A " Rather Backward Man "-How  a Mormon Hus band was Managed-Anxious for Alice to Marry-A Very Obedient Husband
-Marrying for Principle: Not Love-How Saints are Silly over New Wives
-Taking Life Easily-" Miss Alice! We shall See "-Bringing Home a
" Sister "-Wife, Number Three-How a Wife Lost Her Influence-How
a Wife Consoled Herself Under Difficulties-Understanding the "order of
the Kingdom "-The Necessity of Having Two Wives at Least-Not Need ful to Fall in Love-A Good Example.
OT  long after I had received my Endowments my talk   ative friend, of whom I have already spoken, came to see
me and to offer her congratulations. She was quite enthusiastic upon the subject, spoke of the honor which had been conferred upon us, and promised to call frequently to "build me
up." She was particularly anxious to learn whether I did not
feel much better and happier now.
On that point I could say little, for to have answered her
truthfully would have provoked discussion, into which I did
not care to enter. I knew, too, that anything I said to her
would soon be known to everyone else. So I told her that I
was feeling well enough.
"'Well enough!"' she said, "Is that how you feel?  Come 
HOW A CERTAIN LADY MANAGED HER HUSBAND.  37I
now, I thought you would have got over all that when you had
been through your Endowments. You remind me of what
Brother Brigham says,-We have so many whining women in
Zion that it is quite a reproach. I do hope that you are not
going to become one of them. Let me give you a bit of
advice: The wisest thing you can do is to look out for another
wife for your husband, and get him to marry her."
"Oh My!" I said, "What  are you talking about?  You
surely cannot be in earnest."
"I never was more  earnest in my life," she answered.
If you had persuaded your husband to take another wife when
you went through your Endowments  you would have got
over all your troubles at one time. The anticipation is ten
times worse than the reality."
"I do not see it in that light," I said. "My own opinion is
that my troubles in that case would only then have begun. I
do not think that you yourself are really happy."
"Oh, nonsense!" she exclaimed.  "Why you can see how
happy I am. My husband has two other wives, besides myself,
and a more comfortable family could not be."
"You never told me," I said, "how your husband managed
to get those wives. I should like to hear."
"My husband managed! Why he did not manage at all;
it was I who arranged everything for him, and I'll tell you
how it was done.
"During the Reformation," she continued, "you, of course,
know the men were constantly urged to take more wives;
but my husband was rather backward, and used to tell me
there was plenty of time and not the slightest occasion for
him to be in a hurry. I had my own opinion of the matter
and did not agree with him, for you see I was afraid that
after all, he would pick up some young girl or other and fall
in love with her, and all my plans would be disarranged. It
is you know much the best for the first wife to look out for
some girl who will look up to her and respect her, but not love
her husband too much, and then they are likely to get on
well together. If the first wife selects the other wives, it has
23 
O"THEY GET USED TO IT."
the effect of showing them that the husband thinks much of
her judgment and is willing to abide by it, and that they will
have to do the same. This, of course, is as it should be. But
if she lets her husband choose his own wife, he is almost certain to take a fancy to some one whom the first wife does not
like at all, and consequently her authority is undermined.
The first wife ought to keep all the power in her own hands."
"Well," I said, "I should not care much, I think, who ruled
in my home if another wife was there."
"You think so now," she replied, "but when you get used
to Polygamy you will feel quite otherwise. People get used
to it-the women as well as the men-and then they leave off
fretting and become less selfish. But I was going to tell you
how I managed my husband.
"I was very anxious, as I told you, to find another wife for
him, and I took into consideration all the suitable girls I
knew. There was some objection to almost every one. Some
were too pretty and I knew I should detest them; and others
were not good-ldbking, and those my husband could not bear.
So I waited patiently, but did not give up the hope of succeeding eventually. At last I met with a girl who I;hought
would do. She was certainly not bad-looking, but she was
very young and I thought I should be able to manage her.
The name of this girl was Alice Maynard; she was a neighbor of ours, and one of a large family. She seemed to me to
be a quiet, modest little creature, and I knew that she had to
work hard and received very little in return. In fact, she led
at home a life of drudgery, and even her very clothing bore
witness to the'poverty of the family. Her mother had often
told me that she felt badly for Alice, for Mr. Maynard had
three other wives and it was more than he could do to support them all properly
"I called one day upon Mrs. Maynard to broach the matter
to her. She received me very kindly and entered into my
views at once. She was anxious, she said, for Alice to get
married, for then she would be better off. I asked her how
she would like her to marry my husband, and told her that we
I
372 
PROPOSING BY PROXY.
were very comfortably off, as you know we are, and that my
husband owned his house and lot and was doing a very good
business, and, of course, ought to take another wife. Would
she agree to my proposal and let me mention Alice to him?
"She said, she herself, had no objection, but that perhaps my
husband might not like Alice, or Alice might not like him.
"I felt indignant at the idea that any girl should hesitate to
marry my husband, and I told Sister Maynard that there could
not possibly be any hesitation on Alice's part.'I'm sure I
have no objection,' she said,'if Alice has none. I should
only be too happy to see my child in a more comfortable
home.'
"Well then, we'll consider the matter settled, I said, and
asked if I could see Alice; so her mother called her in, and I
proposed to her for my husband. You can guess, perhaps,
how astonished I was when she actually laughed in my face
and said she should like to consider the matter! I did not,
however, show her what I thought, but assented to what she
said, and invited her to come and take tea with us.
"My husband had often told me, when I was teasing him
about taking another wife, that he would willingly marry any
girl I might choose for him; and I felt pleased at this for it
showed confidence in my judgment. So when he came in,
later in the day, I told him I had found a wife for him at last,
and that I knew he would like her.'Why, Ann,' he said,
'I do believe you are going crazy over the wife question; but
if you are I do not want you to drive me crazy also.  I really
thought this was too bad, after all my trouble for him; but nevertheless I was resolved that the marriage should take place.
"Three days after that, in accordance with my invitation,
Alice came to take tea with us, and I fixed her up to look
nice. When she was ready, I took her into the parlor to
introduce her to my husband who was sitting there reading.
Henry, I said, this is Miss Maynard-the young lady of whom
I spoke to you the other day. He looked up from his paper,
and, to my astonishment, said,'Why, Alice, my girl, how do
you do?  How are mother and father?'
373 
AN INTERVIEW WITH MISS ALICE.
"What; I said, do you know Alice, Henry?
"'Certainly I do,' he answered,'Alice and I have met
many times before this, haven't we, Alice?'
"'Yes, sir,' she said, and, oh, so demurely.  Why, Sister
Stenhouse, I began to think that I had actually been deceived,
and that while I had innocently supposed that I had found out
the girl myself, it was the very one upon whom my husband had
had his eye for a long while past. I watched them, however,
very narrowly, for I was determined that if my husband
had really taken a fancy for the girl he should never have
her."
"Why, that would have facilitated matters, would it not?"
I said.
"Do you think," she replied, "that I would have allowed
them to marry, if they loved each other?  No, indeed!  The
Saints marry from principle and not from love, as Brother
Brigham has often told us. I hope you believe me, dear,
when I say that I'm not at all a jealous woman, but if my
husband dared t fall in love with a girl and to hide it from
me, I could not stand it I am sure. No! prinzciple is the only
thing,-there can be no love in Polygamy. If a man, loved
his wife do you think he could have the heart to pain her by
taking another? On the other hand, it is because of the
love which still remains in their hearts, and which they weary
themselves to crush out, that so many of the first wives are
miserable. But I was going to tell you about Alice. I was
mistaken in thinking that my husband had been paying her
any attentions. It appeared that he was acquainted with her
father and mother, and that at their house he had frequently
seen the child Alice, but never supposed she was the Miss
Maynard of whom I had spoken. But now they had come
together at last he took to her kindly and she to him, and
really I sometimes almost thought that they wished to ignore
me altogether.
"I did not let them waste much time fussing with one
another, but they got on very rapidly, nevertheless; and before
I had had time.to arrange matters properly, my husband told
374 
ASTONISHED AT THE CHANGE.
me that to please ine he was going to marry Ali,e. Only
fancy me being pleased at him marrying Alice! Why, it
wasn't to please myself that I introduced the child to him, but
simply because, if he miust have another wife, it was certainly
best for me to choose one whom I could manage. However,
they were married not long after, and really I think I never
was more disgusted in my life than I was on that occasion.
I was not jealous, but I do think he might have paid her a
little less attention. In fact I quite regretted, when it was
too late, that I had ever brought them together.
"The Mormon men always do make themselves silly over
their new wives, and I did not expect my husband to be an
exception to the rule; but I was perfectly astonished at the
change that took place in Alice.' Instead of the quiet, modest
girl she used to be, she put on all sorts of airs, and treated me
as if I were of not the slightest consequence. I couldn't
stand that, and I resolved, if it were only to take the pride
out of her, I would get my husband to marry another wife
still. He wouldn't object, I knew, for hi takes life very
easily and he has a great respect for my  opinion.  Besides
which, he is quite well enough off to support three wives, and
as a matter of duty, if nothing else, he ought to do so. That
would soon bring Miss Alice to a proper state of mind, and
she needed something of the sort, for, do you know, she had
actually made that silly husband of mine think that she ought
to be treated with the same consideration as myself."
"Well but," I said, "if the principle of Polygamy is of God,
it is only just that all the wives should be treated alike. If
my husband were to marry another woman, much as it would
pain me, I should certainly treat her as an equal."
"Then," she replied, "if you do so you will find that the
first wives will have nothing to do with you. You will find,
when you come to be better acquainted with the people here,
that the first wives do not waste much love over the polygamic wives; and, of course, as a rule, the polygamic wives
detest the first wives. Then the plural wives get together
and talk all manner of evil about the first wives, who do pretty
375 
SISTER ANN'S LABOR OF LOVE.
much the same in respect to them. It is only natural that
they should do so.
"But I was going to tell you," she continued, "how  I
selected the third wife. There was an emigrant-train expected
in every day; and you know, when the emigrants arrive, all
those women who want wives for their husbands, and all
those men who want tQ choose for themselves, go down to the
camping-ground, and if they see a girl who takes their fancy,
they ask her if she has got a place to go to, and if she has not
they offer to receive her themselves. There are hundreds of
young girls who arrive here without any one to look after
them, and who are only too glad to accept a home for the
winter. Now this was exactly what I did. I went down to
the camp and looked round for myself, and at last my eyes
rested upon a young woman of about thirty or thirty-five
years of age, who I thought would be a more suitable wife for
my husband than that giggling chit that I chose for him at
first. I decided at once that she would do, so I went up to
her and asked her if she had any friends. She said she had a
brother living in the City; but when I explained to her how
we were situated and said that I should like her to come and
stay with us till she could look round a little for herself, she
agreed at once. Now-I thought-Miss Alice, we shall see
whether you are going to have things all your own way any
longer!
"I told her, however, as well as my husband, that I had
brought home a sister to stay with us awhile, and they
received her very kindly, and she soon made herself very
useful and agreeable to us all. The Bishop came and talked
to my husband, and he made no difficulty at all in acceding to
my wishes, and before long he made our visitor-wife, number
three; and Alice, as a matter of course, lost a good deal of her
influence over him. For my own part, I am much more comfortable. The two plural wives do nearly all the work, and I
have little else to do than superintend the household and
enjoy myself. My husband is one of those quiet sort of men
who never interfere with domestic affairs, and I have matters
.'376 
"SET ONE TO WATCH THE OTHER."
pretty much my own way now. The only thing that annoys
me is his fondness for Alice who makes herself appear most
amiable to him, deceitful thing!  I can't break him of that,
but I often tell him that he will find her out some day. He
tells me that he looks upon her as a child and feels like a
father towards her; no woman, he says, can ever have his
love but me. That sounds all very well, but as for believing
it, that is quite another thing:-I keep my eye on them and
watch them well."
"But," I said, "it appears to me that it would have been far
better if you had never given him another wife at all. You
would have been saved from annoyance, and the privacy of
your home would not have been disturbed. I am the more
surprised, as your husband did not himself desire it."
"When you understand better the order of the kingdom,
you will not speak in that way," she said.  "Do you suppose
that I should be satisfied to be the wife of a man who could
not exalt me in the celestial kingdom-a man with only one
wife?  Why I have often told my husband that if he did not
get other wives I would leave him. It is necessary for a man
to have two wives at least if he would enter into the celestial
kingdom.  That is why I have been so anxious to get wives
for my husband. At the same time there is no necessity
for him to fall in love and act in a silly way over them. The
only way in such a case is to set one to watch the other, and
then they are pretty certain to keep the old man straight.
You think, perhaps, that I don't feel all this, but you must
not be deceived by appearances. I try to do the will of
Heaven with a smile on my face; and the brethren have
often told me that if the other sisters were more like me they
would not have so much difficulty in establishing Polygamy.
But, dear me, Sister Stenhouse, what a long talk we've had!
I'll come and see you soon again, but I must hasten away
now, for my husband will be home to supper by this time."
So she left me wondering over her strange story of X
woman's experience in supplying her own husband with
wives.
377 
CHAPTER XXVII.
SOCIAL LIFE IN SALT LAKE CITY:-BALL-ROOMS, " WALL                 FLOWERS," AND DIVORCE.
Seeking for Old Friends-In the Ball-Room-Social Life-How Brother
Brigham Built a Theatre-Short-Sightedness of the Prophet-Poets and
Polygamy Disagree-What a Woman Would Think-The Ideal of True
Love-Unpleasant Comparisons-Bearing the Cross-Rather Old Boys-Sub duing a Wife and Getting a Wife-What the Wives Say in Secret-Intro duced to An Apostle's Five Wives-" I'm Afraid You are Not Too Strong
in the Faith "-The "Model Saint "-Improved Prospects-An Old Friend
Discovered-Another Victim to Polygamy-A Divorce for Ten Dollars! Pin-Money for Brother Brigham's Wives-Four Husbands of a Girl of Twenty One!-How Will the Knot be Untied?                          J
PRING opened bright and beautiful, and I began to feel
more at home in Zion and more contented with my position. I do not, however, mean that I was satisfied with
Polygamy or that I contemplated calmly the prospect of my
husband taking a plurality of wives; but that I had begun to
adapt myself to the manners and customs of the Saints, and
had already formed many of those pleasant intimacies which
lend such a charm to life.
My talkative friend was a constant visitor at our house;
and her strange views of life and of that all-absorbing subject
-the management of man under the plural wife systemtogether with her lively conversation and unceasing flow of
spirits, made her visits acceptable; and she often banished
from my mind thoughts which, if unchecked, would have made 
"TWO FACES I LONGED TO SEE."
379
my life unbearable. Her husband, too, poor creature, sometimes followed in her train, and on one occasion she actually
brought Alice with her that I might see what sort of a girl
she was. I found her quite good-looking, intelligent, and as
pleasant a little body as one could wish to know; but at the
same time I detected in the expression of her features lively
and self-reliant as she was-too many traces of that look of
subdued sadness which casts a cloud over the countenance of
every woman living in Polygamy.
Other friends, besides, I had, too numerous to mentionfriends whom I had known in England, with whom I had
wept over the horrors of Polygamy when it was first announced; and dear Swiss friends, not a few, who had come
to Zion before us and were now quite settled and at home.
Two faces I longed to see, but of their owners I could at
first get no tidings. Poor, dear Madame Bailiff-my old Swiss
friend, who in past days had shown me so many kindnesses
and whom I had so tenderly loved-where was she?  Somewhere, I knew, in Zion, but not in Salt Lake City; and to the
chapter of accidents, I felt that I must leave it, whether I ever
saw her again or not. And there, too, was Mary Burton, with
all her sweet, winning ways-she whom I had known asa
child; whose early womanhood had been darkened by apprehensions of that accursed abomination-Polygamy; who had
suffered that terrible martyrdom upon the Plains; who, for
aught I knew, might at that very time need most my sympathy
and sisterly love-Oh, where was she? Poor Mary! Might
it not be, that worn out with the fearful sufferings which she
had endured, she had gone to that peaceful rest which she had
so vainly sought on earth? I had asked every one who came
across my path, who was likely to know, whether they could
give me any information as to where she was; but I could
learn nothing more than that, not long after their arrival, she
and her husband had left the city and had gone to one of the
Settlements in Southern Utah. I had, therefore, to wait in
uncertainty for any chance which might accidentally bring us
again together. 
THE BALL SEASON IN SALT LAKE CITY.
I was very glad that the winter was over, for we had had
rather a rough time during our first few months in Salt Lake
City, and the various associations of our life had tended rather
to strengthen than to relieve my apprehensions respecting the
future. The ball season, which, of course, I cannot pass by
in silence, had been a source of annoyance, and, I may say,
disgust to me.  I had seen so much that was unpleasant at
those balls; and although what I witnessed did not then
affect me personally, yet it was painful to see others suffer,
and to hear poor women, whose hearts were crushed and broken,
tell to each other in whispers the sorrow which had blighted
their existence.
Dancing was always very popular among the Saints, and the
leading men among them have wisely fostered a taste for it.
When the people first went out to Utah, as may be supposed,
life was hard and amusements were few.  The Mormons, as a
body, are examples of industry and diligence; to them labor
is one of the cardinal virtues; and like all other pioneers
they found plenty of employment for their energies. Houses
had to be built, land prepared for cultivation, the commonest
necessaries of life to be' manufactured or raised; and busy
hands were perpetually engaged in a thousand useful-industries. But when the day was over, and the dust of toil was
washed from the careful brow, it was but natural that the need
of a little recreation should be felt.
So in very early days Brigham built a theatre, and a very
fair amount of histrionic talent was developed among the
Saints. The Social Hall, in which were held balls, public
entertainments, and other amusements, was used for histrionic performances before the theatre was built. Brighafin
owned the theatre. Money was to be made out of it; and
the chance of making money Brother Brigham never permitted to slip through his fingers. Brigham's eyes were sharp
enough to see that a theatre would be to him a source of
profit, but he did not look far enough.  That theatre,-under
the immediate direction of the Prophet; with his own
daughters acting in it; with the plays which were performed
"3 8o 
BRIGHAM YOUNG'S THEATRE.
under his own censorship-has been one of the many causes
which have perceptibly, although perhaps indirectly, shaken
the hold which Mormonism had upon many a woman's mind.
A man would probably witness the performance of a play
and return from the theatre with no other thought than the
remembrance of an hour's amusement. But not so a woman.
To her the play suggested something more, and her daughters
would share her thoughts. Daily and hourly, it might be, the
effects of Polygamy would be brought under their notice as a
matter affecting themselves personally. They might be firm
in the faith, but the observant instincts of their sex could
never be wholly crushed. They would notice the neglect
which wives endured even from good husbands; they would
see a man leaving the wife of his youth, the mother of his
children, and careless of the cruel wrong he did her, leave her
in lonely sorrow while he was spending his time in lovemaking with some young girl who might have been his
daughter. They would see a wife crushing out from her heart
the holiest impulses which God had implanted there, striving
to destroy all affection for him whose dearest treasure that
affection should have been, because, indeed, Polygamy could
not exist with love.  They would see, and know, and thern
selves personally feel, the degradation and misery of the
"Celestial Order of Marriage"; and that to them would be
the practical picture of life.
But in the theatre-short-sighted Brigham, to allow it to be
so!-another picture would be presented for their consideration,-a picture, it might be, ideal in its details and surroundings, but true to the letter in the lesson which it conveyed
and the thoughts which it suggested. The disgusting, the
brutalising cruelties of Polygamy were never represented on
the stage. Thoughts so coarse, so sensual, could never inspire the true poet's pen. No; the tale of love as the poet
tells it, is all that is refined, and chaste, and delicate, and pure
-the commingling of two souls, the unison of two loving
hearts, the hopes, the aspirations, the tender joyful sorrows of
two fond natures-of two alone! Such is the picture pre
38I 
A STARTLING COMPARISON.
sented as the ideal of the beautiful and of the good. Then,
too, the delicate attentions of the devoted lover-his happiness
even in the shadow of a smile from her, -the lofty pedestal
upon which to his imagination she stands, a queen and peerless;-or the confiding love of the heroine of the storyblushingly confessing to herself that there is one heart on
earth which is all her own and in which none but herself can
ever rule or reign.
The Mormon women are not devoid of common sense,
nor are they destitute of those quick perceptions which under
all circumstances distinguish their sex. They see on the stage
representations of the happiness attendant upon love and marriage, such as God ordained, and such as finds a response in
every heart; and they compare such pleasant pictures with
what they know and have witnessed of Polygamy, and they
draw painful inferences therefrom. Their faith may be proof
against apostasy, but the impression left upon their minds
produces its effect notwithstanding.
Another institution was the dance Brigham and the leaders knew that it would never do to leave the people without
amusements of some kind, and thus the balls and social gatherings were originated. The idea of Prophets, Apostles, HighPriests,and Patriarchs attending a ball and joining in a dance
must appear grotesquely incongruous to the Gentile mind;
but out among the Mormons it is quite the thing; and to the
men those balls and parties were very pleasant.
I do not think that many of the Mormon women enjoyed
the ball season, and I know to some of them it was the most
painful part of their lives. It is a cruel thing for a woman
anywhere to know that her husband's affections are divided,
that she is not his only love, and that his heart is no longer
all her own. But far worse is the lot of the wife in Utah.
She has to see and be present when the love-making is going
on, when her husband is flirting and saying soft nonsense, or
looking unutterable things at silly girls who are young enough
to be her daughters;-nay, her own daughters and her husband's may actually be older than the damsel he is courting
'382 
RATHER OLD "BOYS." 
for his second wife! Such an outrage upon the holiest feelings of womanhood would not for a moment be tolerated in
any civilised community; but among the Saints women are
taught that this is but one part of that cross which we all
have got to bear. Cross-bearing is all very well, and I do not
doubt that sorrow and tri.n1 have a sanctifying influence upon
the soul, but by all means let us have a fair division of the
burden. It is not just that the heaviest end of the beam
should be placed on poor, weak woman's shoulders, and that
her "lord" should even find pleasure in that cross which
weighs her to the dust and crushes out from her weary soul
the last sparks of love, and happiness, and hope! How sweetly
did the men preach patience and submission to the will of
Heaven. I wonder where their own patience and submission
would have been had matters been reversed and their wives
had been taught that it was their privilege and a religious duty
to court, and flirt with and marry men younger and handsomer
than their husbands!
The brethren never forget what Brother Brigham once said
about the Mormon men being all boys under a hundred years
of age, and they do not neglect their privileges.  Here in the
ball-room you may see men of three-score years and even older
joining in the dance with girls of sixteen and even youngermaking love to them, flirting with them, marrying them. Age
or plain looks are nothing with such men; the girls are taught
that they can exalt them to greater honor and happiness in
heaven than young and untried men could, and that they ought
to feel honored by receiving tender attentions from the chosen
servants of the Lord.  One wife, or even half-a-dozen, if they
chance to have so many, of course will not stand in the way.
The husband is the lord and master, and a woman's wishes
count for nought.
In the ball-room the company of the first wives and, in fact,
of many of the plural wives,-once worshipped, but who "had
had their day "-was not so much sought as that of young and
interesting maidens; and after having stood up with their
husbands in the first dance, as a matter of form, many of those
383 
THE " WALLFLOWERS."
forlorn wives might be seen sitting along the sides of the hall,
keeping each other company and talking over their sorrows.
We used to call these poor ladies "the wall-flowers." Sitting
there watchful, noting all that their husbands did or said, those
poor women were in themselves a touching protest against the
cruelty of the systemxn, such as none but a Mormon heart could
have resisted.
But for that horrible system, these balls and parties would,
of course, have been extremely pleasant. With the feeling of
fraternity which exists among the Saints, such gatherings
ought only to be a source of pleasure; but Polygamy blighted
everything, and it is with feelings almost of hatred that I re call some of those occasions. How many an aching heart has
there felt weary-felt so weary as to long for death. No
change of feature might betray the mental struggle, but the
bitterness of the soul was all the same. And I have seen
wives there whose husbands paid them marked attentions, so
that the girls to whom they were making love might notice
their devotion and draw favorable auguries for the future in
case they married t/em. And the wife has known all this,
and has valued her husband's attentions accordingly., And
yet the poor deluded women  persuade themselves that this
system is right and in accordance with the revealed will of
God; and they think that the evil-poor creatures!-is in
their own hearts and that they deserve to suffer.
The Mormon men sometimes would be rather surprised, I
think, if they could hear what their wives say of them at those
balls. I have seen very obedient wives so goaded to anger by
the conduct of their husbands that they have said very bitter
things indeed; and what was not spoken, was felt, I know, by
every wife in whose nature the last traces of womanly feeling
had not been altogether crushed out.
At one of those balls the Apostle Heber C. Kimball came
up to me and said in his jesting way that he would introduce
me to his wfe.  He brought up five or six ladies of various
ages, one after the other, and said: "There now, I think I'll
quit now, for I'm afraid you're not too strong in the faith."
384 
A MODEL SAINT.
" Are these all you have got?" I asked. 
"Oh dear no," he said, "I have a few more at home, and
about fifty scattered over the earth somewhere; but I've never
seen them since they were sealed to me in Nauvoo, and I hope
I never shall again."
Heber was called the model Saint!"
But the ball season passed, and the spring came on and our
prospects began to brighten. My husband not only found re munerative employment for his pen in Salt Lake City, but was
also engaged as special correspondent to the New York Herald,
and several of the California papers.
One morning, a countryman, roughly dressed and looking
the picture of care, called at our house and asked to see Mr.
Stenhouse. I gazed at him for a moment, for I thought there
was something familiar in the sound of his voice. He looked
at me and I at once recognised him-it was Monsieur Baliff
himself, in whose house we had lived in Switzerland. But, oh,
how changed he was! Once a refined, handsome, gentlemanly
man; now a mere wreck of his former self-careworn, roughlooking, poorly clad. He and his family had been in Utah six
years, and had suffered all the ills that poverty can induce:
the change which was wrought in him was so great, that for
some moments I was so overcome by my feelings that I could
not utter a word. In the few short years which had elapsed
since I saw him in his own bright and happy home, he had
become quite an old man.  I hardly dared to ask about his
wife, for I feared what his answer might be; but after a little
while he told me that she had sent her love and would like to
see me whenever I could find an opportunity to call upon her.
They lived some miles from the City, but I told him that I
would not fail to visit them whenever it was possible for me to
do so.
I talked a long while with Monsieur Baliff, and was much
interested in what he told me. He made no complaints; he
had still firm faith in Mormonism, and said that if the brethren
had not dealt fairly by him they would be answerable to God
for what they had done, "Besides," he added, "I do not blame
385 
MY SWISS FRIEND.
them so much, for they are Americans and would not be happy
if they did not get the advantage in some way."
I was anxious to ask him if he had been induced to take
another wife, as he had been in Utah during the "Reforma tion," and I did not see how it was possible for him to have
escaped; but while I was thinking how I might put the ques
tion delicately, he saved me the trouble by himself telling me
that he had married the young servant girl whom his wife had
taken from Switzerland with her. This information was quite
a shock to me, for I well knew the proud spirit of his wife and
I could realise what anguish this second marriage must have
caused her; I did not, however, like to question him on the
subject. So I turned the conversation into another channel,
and when he went away I sent kind messages to Madame
Baliff, saying that I would seize the very first opportunity of
hearing from her owni lips the story of all they had gone through.
Here again I found the trail of that monster-Polygamy.
This time in the home of my dearest friend. From the moment when she and I had mingled our tears together, in Switzerland, over that abomination, life had been to me one long,
weary, sickening battle with my own heart, one futile attempt
to fully convince myself that Polygamy was right and that I
was wrong. I certainly did believe, or thought that I believed,
the doctrine was true. But at times Nature prevailed in the
struggle, and womanly indignation and anger rose in arms
against Faith. These feelings were, however, at once and unhesitatingly subdued; Faith returned triumphant and I was
again convinced that the Revelation must have been the will
of the Lord, and that my duty was to submit but not to question. In moments of comparative self-control I had even tried,
as a Missionary's wife, to justify it to others, but only to witness an outburst of sorrow and anger, and to feel still more
the weakness of my position. That had been my own experience; but how had the time passed with my dear old
friend? She must, no doubt, have been as greatly disappointed
as I was when she came to Zion and saw things as they really
were, and not as they had been represented to us.
386 
THE REALITIES OF SAINTLY LIFE.
My own eyes had certainly been opened not a little since
my arrival. Instead of finding the people enjoying the com forts and blessings of life, which we had been taught were
strewn around them in profuse abundance, we found among
all but the leading families the greatest poverty and privation. The majority of the people were living in little log or
adobe houses, of one or at the utmost two rooms, of most
primitive construction, and without the slightest convenience
of any description. Their food was bread and molasses, and
it might be an occasional morsel of meat; but many of them
scarcely even indulged in the latter or in any article of
grocery, for months at a time. Their floors and walls were
bare, and their clothing poor and scanty; and yet, destitute
as they were of all the comforts and conveniences of life, they
were conscientiously endeavoring like good Saints to practice
Polygamy, because, as they believed, the Lord had commanded it.
In respect to education they were in even a worse position.
Books, pictures, and periodicals of any kind there were none,
with the exception of that dreary organ of the Church, the
"Deseret News,"-the  soporific influence of which some,
wicked Apostate has likened to a dose of Winslow's soothing
syrup;-Brigham Young, himself an illiterate man, and the
leading Elders frowned upon every attempt to raise the intellectual status of the people; and so little encouragement was
given that no one could afford to keep school. The consequence was that the boys and girls grew up with little more
education than their own sense of necessity taught them to
acquire for themselves, and it was not until very recently that
any suitable efforts were made to supply trained teachers and
to open schools in which a thorough education could be afforded.
I have already mentioned the sermons in the Tabernacle,
and observed how little calculated they were to elevate the
character or cultivate the minds of the people. I have before
me as I write a choice morsel extracted from one of the
sermons of Heber C, Kimball, which I think I must give for
the reader's benefit.
24
387 
388    AN APOSTLE'S VIEWS OF " EDICATED MEN!"
Fancy an "Apostle!" thus addressing a large and mixed
congregation of men, women, and children:
"IHere are some edicated men jest under my nose.  They come here and they
think they know more than I do, and then they git the big head, and it swells
and swells until it gits like the old woman's squash-you go to touch it and it
goes ker-smash; and when you look for the man, why he aint thar. They're
jest like so many pots in a furnace-yer know I've been a potter in my timealmighty thin and almighty big; and when they're sot up the heat makes'em
smoke a little, and then they collapse and tumble in, and they aint no whar."
This was Heber's style in general. Next to making modest
people blush, nothing pleased him better than to annoy or
ridicule any one who had the smallest pretensions to education; and yet naturally Heber was a kind-hearted man.
Brigham's style is very little better, and the substance of his
discourses quite as bad. I will give a very favorable specimen
taken from a sermon on Polygamy, delivered some years ago,
touched up and corrected, and published in the official organ,
the Deseret Nlews:
"Men will say-' My wife though a most excellent woman has not seen a
happy day since I took my second wife.'' No, not a happy day for a year, says
one; and another has not seen a happy day for five years.
"I am going to set every woman at liberty, and say to them, Ntw go your
way-my women with the rest; go your way. And my wives have got to do one
of two things; either round up their shoulders to endure the afflictions of this
world and live their religion, or they must leave; for I will not have them about
me. I will go into heaven alone rather than have them scratching and fighting
around me.  I will set all at liberty.'W\hat, first wife too!'  Yes, I will
liberate you all.  I know there is no cessation to the everlasting whinings of
many of the women in this territory; I am satisfied that this is the case; and if
the women will turn from the commandments of God, and continue to despise
the Order of Heaven, I will pray that the curse of the Almighty may be close to
their heels and that it may be following them all the day long. And those that
enter into it (the celestial order) and are faithful, I will promise them that they
shall be queens in heaven and rulers to all eternity.
"Now if any of you will deny the plurality of wives, and continue to do so, I
promise that you will be damned."
This was sweet language for a Prophet and a Saint to utter,
and yet it is not half so coarse or improper as some whole
sermons that I have listened to from the lips of Brother
Brigham and the other leaders of the Church.
The Apostle Orson Pratt is the only one who has dared, in
I 
BROTHER BRIGHAM'S IDEAS OF EDUCATION.
the presence of Brigham, to say that education was a proper
thing, and that there were many books which would be of
good service to the Saints, if they obtained and studied them.
On one occasion, Brigham arose in ire, and said:
"The Professor has told you that there are many books in the world, and I
tell you that there are many people there. He says there is something in all
these books; I say each of those persons has got a name. It would do you just
as much good to learn those somebodies' names as it would to read those books.
Five minutes revelation would teach me more truth than all this pack of non.
sense that I should have packed away in my unlucky brains from books."
But the Prophet has changed with the times, and there
are now in Utah very good schools, both Mormon and
Gentile, but none of them are free-schools. Bishop Taylor
once  said in a public lecture that they were  "destructive to
the best interests of the community;"-and the  Bishop's
"lord" in the Lion-House is exactly of the same opinion, for
he has repeatedly declared that "there shall be no'freeschools' within his Saintly'Kingdom' on earth."  Nevertheless, Brother Brigham and his "Infallible Priesthood" are at
last beginning to discover that although the night of ignorance and superstition may hate the clear daylight of truth
and knowledge, when the great Ruler of All commands the
light to come forth, it is not in the power of man, with all his
boasting, to forbid the sun to shine upon the dark places of
the earth.
Balls, parties, and the theatre provided amusement for the
people in Salt Lake City itself; but in the Settlements there
was little else in the shape of recreation than idle gossip or
the harangues of the Tabernacle. In the city, of course, this
has all been changed of late years, but in the Settlements of
Utah there is the same lack of civilisation as there was fifteen
or twenty years ago.
At the time when we went to Utah, Mormon society was
slowly recovering from that terrible marrying mania which
had set in during the " Reformation," and a season of divorce
was the result.
The authorities at that time-as I have already observedhad urged every person, without distinction, into Polygamy.
3$9 
A DIVORCE FOR TEN DOLLARS!
Men and women had been forced to marry one another without any respect to affection or fitness, and the result was
that hundreds of marriages were entered into which made
those who contracted them miserable for life, but the consequences of which they could not avoid.  At the same time
not a few were divorced almost immediately after they were
married, and these things were a matter of daily occurrence.
Brigham Young, with his eye perpetually on the dollar, finding that his marrying scheme, like many other of his "divine"
plans, was a failure, saw at once that quite a nice little sum
might be realised by charging a fee for divorces. Nothing
was charged for marrying; but if the people insisted on
having divorces-why, the best, and certainly the most profitable, thing was to make them pay for them. When we first
went to Utah, the Prophet was doing quite a flourishing
business in that line. Any one could get a divorce for ten
dollars; and Brigham publicly in the Tabernacle jested about
it and said that the money thus obtained came in very conveniently as pin-money for his wives though I doubt if they
ever received a dollar of it. He added, that so far as "eternity" was concerned, these divorces were not worth t,e paper
they were written on,-the people had married for eternity,
and in eternity they would have to live together, whether they
liked it or not. He says the same to-day; but still he sells
his divorces and gathers in the ten dollars.
All this is an anomaly, although the people do not appear
to see it. While, more than any other community, they
profess to regard marriage as a sacred institution, they marry
and are divorced in a more careless fashion than the people
of any civilised country. I could mention instances which
would be really ludicrous were they not so shocking.
I know a young woman in Salt Lake City, who is not over
twenty-one years of age. She is a very pretty girl and has
engaged quite extensively in the divorce business, for she now
lives with her fourth husband. She was in my employment
after she left her third, and I had an opportunity of studying
her character.. I noticed that she was frequently visited by a
390
4* 
A YOUNG LADY'S FOUR HUSBANDS.
certain young man who seemed to make himself very agreeable to her, and feeling a great deal of interest in her-for
she had left her father and mother in England, when a mere
child, in order to gather to Zion under the paternal care of
one of the Elders — I asked her why the young man came so
often to see her.
"He is my intended husband," she replied.
"Why," I said, quite astonished, "you have only just been
separated from your last husband, and after so much ill-treatment I should have thought you would have been afraid of
trying another-at-any-rate, so soon as this."
"You're wrong there," she replied, in quite a serious, earnest
way, "I am determined to marry until I get the right one, even
if I have to do so a dozen times. Don't you think I am
right?" This really seemed so shocking that I did not know
what to say.
The most absurd point in all this was, that of her three
former husbands, one was a Gentile, and two were Mbrmons.
The Gentile, of course, would have no chance in the world to
come, but to each of the two Mormons she was sealed for
eternity. Now if Brigham's divorces are of no force in the
next world, and if his marriages are binding, what will this
young woman do between her two Mormon husbands-to say
nothing of the two other Gentile ones, who "do not count!"
for the Mormons, though they are so generous to themselves
in the matter of wives, will not allow a woman to have a couple
of husbands, either here or in eternity.
What nonsense is all this: what blasphemy to ascribe it to
"the Lord!" How different I found the Mormon "lord" from
that great and glorious Being- source of all goodness, holiness, and truth- to whom in the days of my childhood I had
looked up and adored! The "lord" of whom they so flippantly spoke, was not the same with Him to whom things in
heaven and earth do bow, by whom, and in whom, are all things.
He never blighted the heart of woman, or cursed her with a
perpetual curse; but to Him, since I escaped from the cruel
thraldom which once blighted my existence, day by day my
I
391 
THE " LORD" OF WHOM THEY SPEAK.
soul goes out in love and gratitude. Would that I could infuse
into the worn and weary hearts of the women of Utah the
knowledge, that God has given freely to all His creatures-to
woman as well as man-no cruel law to torture their souls,
no wretched "Revelation" to embitter their lives, but a Gospel
o,f peace, and gentleness, and love, which makes perfect those
who walk therein.
392
a, 
CHAPTER XXVIII.
WHAT WOMEN SUFFER IN POLYGAMY:-THE STORY OF
MARY BURTON.
A Surprise-Meeting an Old Friend-The Traces of Grief-Mary in Trouble Sympathy-" There is No Help! "-Painful Memories-The Remembrance
of a Dead Love-" He Used to Almost Worship You"-" It Changed Him
Altogether "-" How can we Help Ourselves? "-Living up to His Privileges The Time for Beginning Polygamy-That Promise!-A Wife's Prayers Re fused-The System a Fearful Curse-Dangerous to Talk!-" Is the Child
Dead? "-His Whole Nature Altered-Mary's Little Girl-Frantic with Sor row-" Not Much to make Them Happy "-A Miserable Resource-A Sad
Story of Wifely Sorrow-How Elder Shrewsbury Kept His Promise to Hi,,
Wife-" She Shall Believe "-Marrying two Sisters on the same Day-Mem ories of Other Days.
NE bright summer morning, about six months after our
arrival in Salt Lake City, I was sitting in the work-room
busy with my girls, when a light tap was heard at the door,
and the next instant a lady entered, and coming straight up to
me was about to kiss me.
I started back a step, held out my hand, looked her full in
the face, and in a moment we were in each other's arms. It
was my old friend Mary Burton!,
I could with difficulty find words to express my astonishmcnt when I recognised her, so greatly was she changed in
every respect. From the very first, whenever we met after a
long separation, I had noticed a more than ordinary alteration 
THE UNEXPECTED VISIT.
in her appearance. But it must be remembered that at the
time of our first reunion she had grown out of childhood into
womanhood; when I met her again in New York she had
passed through the most interesting phase of a woman's life,she had forsaken maidenhood for matrimony,-and now I met
her once more after she had endured those horrors on the
Plains,-of which the reader has already heard,-and she
had entered into a life of sorrow worse than any she had
known before.   No wonder then, that now, as upon previous occasions, I noticed quite a startling change in her
appearance. Her dress was of the coarsest and plainest
kind, but neat, as was everything she touched,-yet not so
carefully arranged as in the old time in England. She used
formerly to have a way of adjusting a dress or a bonnet so
that jt set her off ten times better than it would a girl who
had not naturally the same taste; but now, although, as I said,
her clothes, if coarse, were neat, she evidently had not taken
any pains to set herself off to the best advantage; and in a
woman what a story did that simple fact tell! But it was in
her features and manner that the change was most remarkable. In looking at her face you would have been puzzled to
say in what the alteration consisted. Her cheeks wee thinner and sadly pale, but that was not the cause of her appearing
as she did. Had she been older, I verily believe the anguish
she had passed through would have blanched her hair and left
upon her brow deep marks of thought and suffering. As it
was, however, though no one feature in particular was very
greatly altered, the whole expression of her face was that of
one whose heart was utterly crushed and broken; and when
her eyes met mine, I could hardly refrain from tears as I saw
the mournful look of subdued pain, which told in them the
terrible conflict which her heart had endured.
I took her to my own room-poor girl, how my heart bled
for her!-and again and again I held her in my arms and
tried to comfort her, for she was very weary; and at last she
wept. I was glad to see that passionate flood of tears, for I
knew it would relieve her, and in that I was not mistaken.
'394 
THE STORY OF MARY BURTON.
She threw her arms round my neck, and kissing me repeatedly,
sobbed out: "Don't blame me, Sister Stenhouse, don't blame
me very much, I cannot help it."
"There, there, Mary," I said, "be calm and you will soon be
better. You must tell me all your troubles, and I will do all I
can to help and comfort you."
"There is no help, Sister Stenhouse, no comfort for tneI'm past all that," she answered.
"Don't say that, Mary," I said, "I know that you have passed
through a terrible amount of suffering, and have had much to
trouble you in every way; but your husband is still alive, is he
not? -and there may be many years of happiness before
you."
"It is the thought of him that makes me so wretched," she
said, "oh, I could have borne death a thousand times rather
than this. I would gladly have seen him die rather than see
him changed as he is now. You do not know, Sister Stenhouse, how my whole soul was wrapped up in that man, how I
almost worshipped him. When we suffered so much together
on the Plains, I felt happy in comparison with what I feel now.
I remember that terrible night when I believed he was dying,
I remember the anguish that I felt; but, oh, I knew t,Sw
that he loved me and that his heart was all my own. Had I
lost him-if I could myself have lived-I should have felt
that he had never loved another beside me; I should have
known that we would meet together again in heaven and be
happy in each other's love.  After all we went through
together, I loved him more and more; we seemed to live with
one life; we had the same thoughts, and hopes, and pleasures.
I leaned upon him, and I loved him-Ah, so fondly!-and,
Sister Stenhouse, I know he loved me tlzeiz. We were getting
over the effects of our sufferings on the Plains, and I was
gaining strength and was looking forward to the time when
my child'should be born. It was then that they came and
taught him that devils' doctrine and led him away from me.Oh dear! I cannot bear it, Sister Stenhouse, I cannot bear itit will drive me mad!"
395 
ELDER SHREWSBURY'S BROKEN PROMISE.
She buried her face in her hands and sobbed again.
"Mary dear," I said, "Don't talk like that-he cannot have
ceased to love you, I am sure; he used to almost worship you,
dear."
"It is because I know that he did once, that drives me crazy.
You do not know what I feel, what I have to bear!"
I did not utter a word-my own sorrows were hidden in
my own heart-The heart knoweth its bitterness, and a
stranger intermeddleth not in the matter.  "You have been
through the Endowments?" she asked.  "So have I.  We
went through, Sister Stenhouse, about three months after we
came to Utah, and never since then have I known a moment's
peace. I do not know what they said to my husband, but
whatever it was, it produced a great effect upon his mind, and
changed him altogether -he has been an altered man from
that very time. I have no doubt that they told him that it was
his duty to take another wife, and they would say that no
promise made to me before our marriage is binding if it comes
in opposition to our religion. You know how devoted he is,
how firm his faith is. Why, I do believe that he would obey
counsel even if it broke his heart and cost him his life.
Did they say anything to you or your husband, dear?",,
"Certainly they did, Mary-we have heard it daily and
hourly, and my husband is constantly being counselled about
it.  I am wretched, Mary, you know I must be; I feel just as
you do, but how can we help ourselves?"
"No, we cannot help ourselves - there is no hope;" she
said; "but it is a cruel wrong. You know well enough how
determined I was never to marry a man who would take
another wife. When I thought that Elder Shrewsbury might
be influenced by his religion, I made him go to the Apostle
and get counsel, and then he solemnly vowed to me that he
never would enter into Polygamy without my consent-which,
of course, was the same as saying that he never would do so at all.
Until we went through our Endowments, he never even hinted
at such a thing.  But they spoke to him then; and one day
after he had been having a long consultation with the Bishop,
.96 
GETTING USED TO IT.
he came and spoke to me. He was not unkind in the least.
In fact he seemed to be as much pained at all mention of the
subject as I was. He said that the Bishop had been urging
him to live up to his privileges, and had explained to him how
great a loss in the celestial world it would be, both to him and
to me, if he did not take more wives. He was told that now
while he was young was the time, and that I would soon get
over any pain that I might suffer. Yes, they actually said so.
Fancy tearing out the very affections of one's heart and blasting every hope and happiness in life, and then saying that I
should soon "get used to it!" I tell you, Sister Stenhouse, a
true woman never can "get used" to this hideous system.  If
the hearts of some are dead and cold, it is a curse to them and
a curse to their husbands and their children; and if a wife
seems careless or callous, as the case may be, it is because love
for her husband has first died out in her heart. She feels no
jealousy because she has no love; but if a woman has but a
spark of love for her husband she will hate with a deadly
hatred any other woman whom that husband loves."
"But what did Elder Shrewsbury say when they told him to
enter into Polygamy?" I enquired.
"At first he told them it was utterly impossible," she replied,
"and he mentioned his promise to me, and said we were very
happy together, and that he wished for nothing more. But
they knew his weakness and that he would do anything for his
religion, and they urged him on that point. It was even a sin
against me they said, for if he had no more than one wife he
could never exalt me in the Celestial Kingdom, -that I ought
to be treated like a child-a very dear, but spoilt child,-and
if I refused what was for my own and my husband's benefit and
everlasting welfare, he ought to act up to what he knew was
right, and leave the consequences with the Lord, who would
order all things for the best. My husband told me all this
very sadly at first, but I could see that it had an effect upon
his mind. They saw it, too, and did not let the subject drop.
Every day they spoke to him of it, and at last he gave wayfor nmy sake, he said! This was the cruellest wrong of all.
397 
MARRYING A GIRL OF FOURTEEN.
Then one day he told me very firmly and very coldly, as if he
had steeled his heart to do so, that he had made up his mind
to take another wife."
"What!" I exclaimed, "After the solemn oath he swore
never to do such a thing? Why, I could not have believed it
of Elder Shrewsbury!"
"I reminded him of his promise," she said, "but he told me
that the Revelation justified him in breaking it; that it said
in the second clause that' All covenants, contracts, and oaths
not sealed by him who is appointed on earth to hold this power
in the last days are of no force after the resurrection'; that
for this cause we had been married again for eternity, and
that now he was free from his oath. I knelt down before him,
and I wept and prayed as if for life itself-I entreated him, if
no more, to wait and put off all thoughts of another marriage
for a few months, until he had time to consider the matter
carefully. He had already thoroughly thought it over, he said,
and could not go back now, for the Bishop had chosen a wife
for him and had arranged everything. He even told me who it
was-a young girl named Wilbur, about fourteen years of agea mere child. I prayed him if he would be so wicked as to perjure himself and wrong me so foully, at least not to ad! to his
sin by injuring a poor innocent child. He was very indignant
with me for that, said that he was doing the child the greatest
good he possibly could by marrying her; that he was ensuring
her salvation as well as mine; and that he expected to receive
the blessing of God."
"Mary," I said, "this system is a fearful curse."
"Curse!" she exclaimed, "Curse is a heavenly word to apply
to such a system. Why there is nothing in hell so hateful, so
vile, so detestable. It is blight and ruin to everything that is
fair and good-I never pass a day but I curse with the bitterest hatred the men who devised it. Women can hate bitterly
when they choose; but I hate them more than ever woman
hated before."
"Hush! Hush, dear," I said, "You mustn't talk so, Mary!"
"I mustn't talk it perhaps-it's dangerous, I know;-but I
398 
ALL LOST!
may think it.  There is not a true-hearted woman in Utah
who does not feel as I do this day. Do you think that when
they have ruined all our hopes for time and for eternity we
shall love them still? Here, but for this wretched system, I
should have been a happy wife and mother, and now see what
I am-husband, child, all lost-all lost!"
"Is the child dead, Mary?" I asked, very gently, for I feared
to pain her.
"Yes dear," she replied, "in fact I believe it never livedthe one I was thinking of. I was ill, very ill indeed, after what my
husband had told me. They thought I should die, and I think
he was sorry, for he became very kind and tender to me, but
that only made me feel worse. Then my child was born, but
I niever saw it, for I was unconscious for more than a week
after, and then they told me that it was not alive, but my husband would never speak to me about it. As I grew better,
his cold, stern manner returned, and then at last he married
that girl Wilbur, and since then he has married two more, for
he is doing very well in business. I think that all his love for
me has gone. At first he thought of marrying again because
it was a religious principle; and as it was the time of the Reformation he did not dare to refuse; but now his heart fs
grown hard and cold. You see a change in me, Sister Stenhouse, but I think you'd see a greater change in him. I know,
of course, that I used to look at him with the eyes of love, and
of course did not see him as other people did; but that is not
the only change-it isn't in his face alone; his whole nature
seems altered. It quite pains me sometimes to see it."
"Do you feel any happier now-any calmer, Mary?"
"Yes," she said, "Yes, and no.  I do not love him as I used
to-how could I? But when I look into my heart I find, if I
tell you the truth, that a little love does remain there. If only
I could quite cease to love him I think I should be happy; but
when I pet and play with my little girl-for we have had one
child since that dreadful time-some of my love for him comes
back again, and I sit down and have a good cry. Sometimes
that isn't enough to calm me and I shut the door and walk up
399 
A WIFE'S DESPAIR.
and down the room and swear;-there, don't look so horrified,
Sister Stenhouse! I cannot help it; if I did not give way to
my feelings now and then I should die outright;-and some times I break a few things,-but he never knows it, and it
does me good. We came into the city yesterday on a visit,
and we shall stay for a few days. He brought me, I believe,
as a matter of form; but I found out where you lived, and I
came to see you. You never answered my letter and I did
not know whether you had left New York yet. I really am
glad to see you, Sister Stenhouse. And it is true that Brother
Stenhouse has not taken another wife yet?"
"Not yet," I said, "But, as I told you, he has been spoken
to about it, and I cannot tell what he may do. As you say,
Mary, the Mormon women have not much to make them
happy."
I took her in then to get some refreshments, and I asked her
to stay for the day. She said that she had a message which
some one had left for Elder Shrewsbury; that she would go
and leave it, as it was of some importance, and that she would
come back again.
In about an hour she returned, and somehow, although I had
intended to talk of quite another subject, we got bacl to our
common grievance again. I do not wonder at this for it was
the perpetual theme of all our thoughts. Queen Mary, of unpleasant memory, is said to have fretted over the loss of the
town of Calais until she believed that after her death that
name would be found written upon her heart; and I really do
thinkl, were such a thing possible, the word'Polygamy' would
be found indelibly engraved upon the heart of many a wretched
wife in Utah.
Mary gave me a great deal of information. In that she was
quite herself, as I knew her in by-gone days. Nothing escaped
her observation. She sat down with me and told me all her
troubles and I need hardly say how deeply I sympathised with
her. So I tried to comfort her, and spoke about her child, but
even respecting that poor little thing she felt no hope. "Why
when it grows up, she said, it will be as miserable as I am-I
I
40o 
THAT BROKEN VOW.
can see no prospect of happiness in the future for it." We
agreed that the only way whereby we might prevent our children from experiencing sorrow and misery similar to our own,
was to teach them from the very first that Polygamy was the
natural and proper, as well as the revealed, order of marriagein fact to "bring them up" in the system. What a miserable
resource was this for a mother who loved her children!
"One thing, Mary," I said, referring to her own personal experience in Polygamy-" one thing I do not quite understand.
You, of course, had made your husband specially promise before you married him that he would never take another wife,
and he was therefore bound, as a man, by every moral obligation, not to do so.  But other women have not been situated
as you were, and they have exacted no promises from their
husbands. Yet it always seemed to me that your doing so
was quite superfluous, for ydu must be aware, Mary, that the
Revelation says that before a man can take a second wife he
must have the full consent of the first. The Elders in Europe
used to make a great deal of that point, as you may remember, for they said that this provision took from the Revelation
any harshness or injustice which it might otherwise appear to
show. I know many women who submitted on this account, for they argued that if their permission was necessary,
they could always, by refusing, save themselves from any
further trouble. Now if that was so, how came your husband
to take another wife against your will? I say your husband,
because I should have no difficulty in many other cases. I
have been repeatedly told that husbands never troubled themselves about the Revelation when they wanted another wife,
unless it was to silence the first wife with it, if she rebelled.
But I always regarded Elder Shrewsbury as a conscientious
man, and I firmly believed that he would never willingly give
you a moment's pain. When he made that promise to you, he
had the Revelation before him, and had also the Apostle to go
to if he needed the'Word of the Lord.'  He was therefore
bound by that promise, notwithstanding anything that the
Revelation might say to the contrary; and even had he made
4o0 
"I WILL DESTROY HER."
no promise, the Revelation was on your side. We are tolil
that every woman must first give her consent."
"That is all very true, Sister Stenhouse," she said, "to a
certain extent. The theory is as you say, but you have not
heard the whole. I know the Revelation pretty nearly by
heart and so I can tell you exactly what it does say. The first
wife is said to hold the keys of this power, by which is meant
that she can refuse. But then it goes on to say that when her
husband has taught her the law of the Priesthood-that is
Polygamy-" she shall believe or she shall be destroyed, saith
the Lord your God, for I will destroy her." You see there is
no loophole of escape for the woman. Her husband is to teach
her the law and she shall believe; and if she does not-and
of course people have no power to make themselves believe
what they please-she is to be destroyed, and God will destroy
her!  Do  you know, Sister Stenhouse, there are stories
whispered here of women who did refuse and who stood in
their husband's way, and it is said that the Priesthood did not
wait for the Lord to destroy, but carried out the law themselves.
"My dear Mary, we really must not talk in this way," I
said-" it's quite wicked. My husband would never forgive
me if he knew what we have been talking about.  He says
that all these stories are untrue, and that they are all exaggerations or fabrications of the Apostates who wish to bring
scandal on our religion."
"I do not wish to shake your faith, Sister Stenhouse, but
my own is pretty well gone," she replied. "Of course I
never speak to my husband about these things, nor do I
dare to talk to any one else; but I feel it quite a relief to see
you and to be able to say what I think, for I know I can
confide in you.  But we  have wandered  sadly from your
question. You were talking about the first wife giving her
consent?"
"Yes," I said, "and you were about to tell me whether
it was really and practically necessary in every instance.
You have been here longer and have seen more than I have."
402 
THE FOUR WHO GIVE CONSENT.
"The wife's consent is by no means necessary, Sister
Stenhouse. It may be asked sometimes as a mere matter
of form, and, of course, in the Endowment House, when she
gives the other wives to her husband, she may be said to
give her consent to his marrying them. It is nothing but a
piece of folly to talk about women having the power to withhold their consent, and it is simply an insult and a mockery for their husbands to ask it; they well know before they
ask that their wives dare not refuse to give it. But it enables
them to boast to the Gentiles that they do not take other
wives until their first wife gave her consent. This is what is
meant by' the liberty of the Gospel,' I suppose, about which
Brother Brigham talks so much. But every one knows perfectly well that this is all a farce, and that he would take
other wives all the same however stoutly the first wife might refuse.. She would only make herself miserable. even if she got
off as well as that. The idea really is that in Polygamy there are
four who must give their consent: Brigham Young must first
receive a revelation from the Lord stating that he approves of
the proposed marriage. Then the first wife's permission
must be obtained. Then the consent of her parents. And,
last of all, the girl herself is to be asked.                 "
"This all sounds very fair," she continued, "but in practice it is quite otherwise. Without President Young's consent there can be no marriage at all; but if it is the will of
Brigham, the refusal of the first wife and the parents and
the girl herself do not for a moment signify."
"But did your husband, Mary, act in this way?"
"Well, not quite. He told me that if I refused it would
make not the slightest difference; and as I believed him, I,
of course, went, and did not make a scene.  It would have
only made matters worse. Some of the older sisters came
round and talked mne over, and explained and insisted, and
"labored" with me as they called it, until I hardly knew
what to think or do-my mind was quite unsettled.  Eliza
R. Snow is quite great at that sort of work.  When my
husband took his other two wives, he did not consult me at
25
4o3 
"LABORING" WITH REFRACTORY WIVES.
all, but simply told me that on a certain day I must go with
him to the Endowment House. We went, and he married
two sisters on the same day, but it did not do him much
good. They are handsome girls, but have very bad tempers
and we often have a very unpleasant time. The second wife,
poor child, suffered most when he married the other two. She
did not seem to like me very much at first, which was quite
natural, but when the other two were brought home she
seemed quite to cling to me, and I have, strange to say, taken
quite a fancy to her. In all our disputes she always sides with
me, and in return I always stand up for her, as a matter of
course. I am getting used to this wretched life; I have stifled
all my love; and I am sorry to say that sometimes I almost
hate every one around me, including my husband. Now and
then the old longing for some one to love, for some one to
confide in, comes over me. I felt like that this morning when
I came here, and that is what made me act so badly."
"Say nothing of that, Mary;" I replied.  "I wish you would
stay with me while you are in the City."
"No," she said, "We shall be here for a day or two, but I
do not think my husband would like me to spy here
altogether. He knows that you are aware of his attachment
to me once and his promises in the old times, and very likely
he would be a little ashamed to meet you.  He'll make
business an excuse, and in fact he is busy all the day. So
I'll come round alone as much as I can, and we'll have a good
talk again."
I saw her to the door, and then she turned and said, "I'll
come again and see you, Sister Stenhouse, before we leave
the city. I know you think me very wicked; but, there
don't be shocked, dear!-I'm not so very bad, after all."
Thus saying, she kissed me, laughed with the ghost of her
former merry ways when first I knew her, and said good-night.
I watched her till she was lost in the darkness, and then I
closed the door, saying to myself, with a sigh, "Ah me! can
this be the Mary that once I knew?"
I
404 
CHAPTER XXIX.
HOW MARRIAGES ARE MADE IN UTAH-A NEW WIFE FOUND
FOR MY HUSBAND.
My Old Friend Madame Baliff-Painful Reverses of Fortune-Shameful
"Counsel" during the "Reformation "-A Choice of Two Evils-Reminis cences of a Happier Life-A Message from Brigham Young-A Serious Trust
-An Interesting Case-Suffering for the Faith-My Talkative Friend Again
-I Receive Strange Congratulations-An Inquisitive Lady-A Lady who
Could "Build-Up" a Rebellious Wife-The Apostle Heber C. Kimball Pays
Me a Special Visit-" Plenty of Wives Around the Town "-A Morning drive
with the "Model Saint "-A Lesson on Children's Dresses-Good'" Coun sel" Thrown Away-Heber Suggests a Wife for my Husband-How Love
is Developed in Mormon Wives-" The Finest Thing in the World "-The
Shadow of Coming EviL
OT long after this, I was enabled to visit my Swiss
friend, Madame Baliff.  Ever since her husband had
called upon me in Salt Lake City, I had watched anxiously
for an opportunity of seeing her, for I felt much interested in
learning how time had passed with her since we parted in
Geneva.
I found her in a little log-cabin of two rooms, with bare
walls, bare floor, and miserably furnished; and in this
wretched abode Poverty and Polygamy had wrecked the life
of my poor friend, whom I had known under such different
circumstances. Here, together with their five children, lived
also the second wife, with her two children.  It was with diffi 
A CONTRAST.
culty that I could recognise in the poor, careworn, brokenspirited, and ill-clad woman who stood before me, the once
gay, light-hearted, happy, and elegantly-dressed lady whom I
had known in Switzerland. Mormonism had in her case
utterly blighted her existence. It seemed to me hardly possible that so great a change should have been wrought in her
in such a few years as had elapsed since last I saw her. What
suffering she must have endured, I thought, what mental
agony, what physical pain, to write those wrinkled lines of care
upon her once handsome face; and, Ah! what a pang I felt at
the remembrance that I myself had been instrumental in leading her into Mormonism and Polygamy. Self-reproach I did
not feel, but sorrow I did. I had thought to lead her into the
way of holiness and heavenly peace by winning her to the
religion of the Saints, but that which I in my enthusiasm had
believed would be the greatest blessing which one poor mortal
could communicate to another, had turned to a curse, and
instead of the happy wife and mother which she once had been,
she had become a victim to that faith which in its very existence is an insult to womanhood.
In temper and disposition she was, however, just the same;
her affectionate nature was unchanged. No doubt she read
in my features the painful surprise which I experienced in
witnessing her altered circumstances; but she met me with not
a single word of reproach for my being the cause of her leaving her own dear country. I should not have blamed her had
she hated me, though she knew, of course, that I had wronged
her innocently.
She told me of the difficulties which they had had to contend with after their arrival in Utah, and how they had been
compelled to part with almost everything they had, in order to
provide bread for their children. When they left London,
they took with them several handsome carpets, china, glass,
and a large quantity of silver ware, besides bedding and clothing of every description, for they were well-to-do in the world,
and had quite enough for themselves, after they had Iiberally
assisted the poorer Saints to emigrate. Upon their arrival in
406 
REVERSES OF FORTUNE.
Utah, the husband-good man that he was-was willing to
come down to the level of his brethren and to go farming
among them. A brother who knew him in his own country,
and imagined, I suppose, that he could afford to lose, sold him
a farm that he himself had become disgusted with, though, of
course, he did not say so, and when my inexperienced friend;
Monsieur Baliff, found that nothing could be done with it, he
supposed that the land was good enough but that he himself
was not competent to work it. No one-ventured to hint that
he had been cheated, as it was one of the Church authorities
who had sold him the land. After spending upon it all that
he possessed, he was finally compelled to abandon it. They
were now very much straightened in circumstances, and my
poor friend told me that she had frequently been compelled-.
as they were entirely destitute of money- to take a silver
spoon or fork to the butcher's market to trade with, and there
they drove a hard bargain with her, and she obtained next to
nothing in exchange for her silver. Her crystal and plate
now grace the table of a certain rich man in Utah. Every
article they possessed went in this way at a most ruinous
sacrifice, until nothing remained, and then the husband was
forced to engage in manual labor, while the poor wife employed
herself in whatever feminine work she could obtain; they receiving in return just what people chose to pay them. In the
midst of their troubles the husband was "counselled" to take
another wife.
"But why did he not refuse to do so?" I asked.
"If you had been here during the Reformation you would
not ask me such a question as that. Sister Stenhouse, you
ought to thank God that you were not here then. There
were shocking things done at that time, and the men were all
crazy about marrying.  They married every woman who was
single, and even little girls who had scarcely reached their
teens; it was a time of terror, and no one dared to rebel."
She then told me that her husband had been, as one might
say, compelled to marry a young Swiss girl whom they had
brought out to Utah with them as a domestic. This girl had.
407 
SOME RATHER COOL "COUNSEL!"
been a very faithful servant and Madame Baliff had become
very much attached to her. During the Reformation the
Bishop visited them and "counselled" Monsieur Baliff to take
a second wife. The girl was also "counselled" to marry, and
when she said that she did not know of any one to whom she
would like to be married, the Bishop told her that he himself
would find a suitable man.
"My husband told me what the Bishop had urged him to
do," said Madame Baliff, "and we talked the matter over in a
practical way. We knew that the girl would be forced to
marry somebody, and that then she would have to leave us,
which would put us to the very greatest inconvenience, for
situated as we were we could hardly get on without her
assistance. At the same time, he also would be compelled to
obey counsel, and we came to the conclusion that as there was
no way of evading the difficulty altogether, it would be better for
him to marry the girl than to bring a stranger into the house.
So he asked her, and she accepted him, and they were married. She is a good girl and tries to do her best, but it is a
great trial to me, and one which I trust you may never be
called upon to bear.  My husband is as kind and gentle a
man as ever lived, and he has done all he could to Beep me
from feeling unhappy; had it been otherwise I dare not think
what I should have done-I believe I should have gone mad
or died. In our household arrangements, of course it made
very little difference, but it was inexpressibly painful to me,
and though I suppose I shall remain a Mormon till the day of
my death I have learned to hate Mormonism."
Poor Madame Baliff!  Hers was a life of privation and
sorrow, of late years. Happy as woman could be in her
youthful days, she little dreamed what Providence had in
store for her ere her earthly course had run. With a faithful
and devoted husband; with a charming little family growing
up around her; with all that could make life fair and beautiful.
But that accursed thing-Polygamy-came and poisoned all
her happiness, and blighted all her hopes; and when, but a
few months ago, worn out and weary of life, she left behind
4o8 
THE LAST OF MY POOR SWISS FRIEND.
her all her sorrows and all her misery, I could not weep that
she had gone to a better land beyond the veil, but I thanked
God that at last, poor soul, her days of trial were for ever over
and she had entered into her eternal rest.
One day Brother Brigham sent me word that he wished to
see me.
I went to him, and he told me that he wanted me to become
acquainted with a certain young girl in whom he took a great
interest. She was the daughter, by his first wife, of Jedediah
M. Grant, the famous Apostle of the "Reformation "-her
name was Carrie, and she was now an orphan. Brother
Brigham wished me to have her with me every day, for she
was nof "feeling well," he said, and he thought I might do her
some good.  This "not feeling well" I afterwards discovered
meant that she was almost ready to apostatize. If she desired
it, I was to teach her my business; not that she needed to
follow any profession, for, as President Young explained, she
had a good home; but her mind needed occupation, and he
did not care how she employed her time, so long as she was
with me every day and could be made to "feel well."
I listened to all that Brother Brigham said, and accepted
the trust in good faith-not only to please him, but because
the girl was an orphan, and my heart went out towards her
even before I had seen her.
Before I returned home, I called at the house where Carrie
was stopping, and arranged that she should come every day to
see me, under pretext of learning the business. Now it so
happened that we each conceived a liking to the other the
very first moment we met; we made friends together at
once, and she wanted to begin coming to me the very next
day.  She was a sweet-looking and intelligent girl, fair but
fragile, and with a peculiar expression of melancholy sadness
dwelling upon her features, which gave her a painfully inter esting appearance. I never, before or since, met with a young
girl who habitually looked so unhappy; and I thought that
perhaps physical weakness might be the cause, for it was
4o9 
" CARRIE."
evident that in constitution she was extremely delicate-I
almost feared consumptive.
The first day we spent together she told me that her
parents had been among the pioneers to Utah, that her only
sister had died on the Plains, and that she had lost her mother
soon after they had arrived in Salt Lake City. As the only
remaining child of her mother, she had been a great pet with
her father, but he too had died about four years previous to
the time of which I speak, and she had never been happy
since.  "I often long to die," she said, "that I might join my
mother and father; no one loves me here, and I have nothing
to live for." Her father had married four wives after her
mother's death, and they were all very kind to her, but she
did not feel that she had a home. She told me, that about
six months before she came to me, she had started to go east,
to her mother's friends, for they had frequently written to her
urging her to come to them, and that when she was about
two weeks' journey from Salt Lake City, Brigham Young
sent after her, and she was brought back.  "But," she said,
"I shall never be happy here, Sister Stenhouse, I know I
never shall; and why should they not let me leave and go to
my relatives?" 
I knew very well that it was of no use for her to try to get
away, for we had no railroad then, and escape was almost
impossible. I therefore tried to make her more cheerful, and
told her that a girl as young as she was-for she was scarcely
seventeen-had much to live for.  But her unhappiness had
become almost a settled melancholy and she seemed to be
interested in nothing. Besides which, the task I attempted
was all the more difficult as I was not at all happy myself.
One day the conversation happened to turn upon Polygamy,
and in a moment I saw that all her trouble arose from that
miserable doctrine, and from that alone. We had not exchanged many words upon the subject when she exclaimed:
"Oh, how I hate Polygamy!  God forgive me; but I cannot
help it, Sister Stenhouse! I do hate it; and yet I believe
that it is true." Poor child! I understood her too well, for
'41o 
BRIGHAM YOUNG'S PROTEGEE.
her position was exactly mine;-from that moment we were
fast friends.
Here was the child of one of the greatest fanatics that
Mormonism has ever known, one of the wildest advocates of
the "Celestial Order of Marriage," perfectly loathing the sys tem; and yet, poor girl, believing it firmly, and believing too
that she could not obtain salvation unless she entered into
it.  How  I pitied and loved that poor girl!-and yet what
strength or consolation could I offer her, being myself as
painfully situated as she was. Our mutual sorrow united us
still more closely in loving companionship. I had rarely met
among the Mormon girls with one so thoughtful and observ ing, so kind and gentle. She had not been with me many
weeks before she had entwined herself so completely round
my heart that I was lonely when she stayed away and I tried
to keep her with me altogether. I tried in every way to
make her feel at home when at my house; and noticing her
delicate health, and thinking that she did not always get those
little things to tempt her appetite which an invalid should
always have, I found out many trifles which I believed would
please her, and always tried to get them for her. She seemed
to think much of these little attentions, and I have always
believed that she loved me very dearly.
Some of my neighbors began to whisper pretty plainly to
me that Brother Brigham had an object in view in asking me
to interest myself in Carrie's welfare. They told me they
believed that my husband, if he had not already been coun.
selled to marry her, would be before long. Knowing, as I
did, Carrie's aversion to Polygamy, these suggestions did not
trouble me very much; but I begged my informants not to
speak of the matter in my young friend's presence as it would
only disturb and annoy her. I was the more anxious on this
point as her health had by that time began very perceptibly
to improve, and sometimes she seemed to be almost joyous
and light-hearted. Sometimes she would sew, and sometimes
she read or played with the children, of whom she was very
fond, and I always allowed her to do just as she pleased.
411 
" SO MANY BUSYBODIES HIERE."
One day my talkative friend called to see me. She had
not been near the house for several months, and I think, at
her last visit, she must have taken offence at my telling her
that I thought she had not acted wisely in procuring wives
for her husband. She had, however, now an object in coming
which I soon discovered.
She was shown in, and as soon as she was fairly seated, I
observed that, while talking to me, she was inquisitively scrutinizing Carrie's face, as if trying to discover her character or
read her thoughts. Suddenly-she did everything impulsively  she interrupted the  conversation,  saying:  "Sister
Stenhouse, I want to speak to you privately." I asked her to
come with me into the next room, and she did so, but before
I had time to close the door, she exclaimed: "Allow me to
congratulate you: you have done very wisely!"
"Congratulate me upon what?" I asked.
"Upon the excellent choice you have made for your husband," she replied; "I knew very well you would ponder over
my good counsel and seek another wife for Brother Stenhouse,
and I am certain that my example and my faith and prayers
have helped you, for I have asked the Lord to strengthen you
to do just what you are doing."
"Doing!" I said, "What  am  I doing?  I really don't
understand what you mean."
"Oh nonsense!" she exclaimed, "But I understand, if you
don't.  You wish to keep it a secret, I suppose, until the
happy event takes place. And you are quite right in that, for
there are so many busybodies here, and they do interfere so
much in their neighbors' affairs that it isn't pleasant. But, of
course you needn't fear me-.I shouldn't think of breathing
one single word of the matter, unless you wished me to do
so."
"I'm really at a loss to know what you mean," I said, very
much annoyed with her.
"Oh," she said, "If you think that I am interfering, I will
not say another word, for I should very much dislike to be
considered meddlesome.  But you know, my dear Sister Sten
412 
MV TALKATIVE FRIEND.
i
i
I
I!l
,/)! 1 ;
i'
I,',,
I
I  
REALLY QUITE DISAPPOINTED.
house, the great interest I have always felt concerning you;
from the very first when I knew you in England I always
prophesied great things of you, but I was a little afraid when
I saw your opposition to Polygamy, and I cannot tell how
happy I felt when I heard yesterday that you had found a
wife-and a good wife tofor your husband.
"I find a wife for my husband!" I exclaimed. "That I
never would. I dislike Polygamy far too much to do so. No;
if he ever wants another wife, I shall never help him to find
her-he'll have to get her himself. Besides which, I don't
believe he does think of ever taking more wives."
I believed what I said. During our residence in Utah, my
fears had calmed down, for my husband very seldom mentioned
Polygamy in my presence, unless the brethren or sisters introduced the subject. I naturally concluded that, now he had
seen so much of the practical results of the doctrine, he, like
myself, had become disgusted with it. But my talkative
friend, of course, knew  nothing of my thoughts.  "Who  is
that young girl, then, that I saw just now?" she asked; "Is
not that Miss Grant?" I replied that it was.
"Well," said she, "I was told that you had asked her;o
marry your husband."
"There is no truth in the report," I said, " I am sure that
she has never thought of such a thing, nor have I, nor has my
husband; and I would not have such a thing spoken of for
the world."
"Well," she replied, "I am really quite disappointed.  You
have a splendid opportunity, and I do believe that that was
what Brother Brigham meant when he asked you to see after
her. In fact, I was told that it was his only motive, all along."
"Then Brother Brigham will soon find out his mistake, I can
assure you," I answered, "for I never will ask her; and, moreover, if I thought for a moment that she would ever wish such
a thing, much as I love her, I should then hate her."
"My dear Sister," she said, "how do you expect ever to get
salvation? I suppose you think that is none of my business,
and that I should leave you in the hands of the Lord.  But
I
4I5' 
"I WANT SISTER FANNY*"
before I go, let me ask you to see Eliza Snow as soon as you
have an opportunity. She will build you up, and do you a
world of good."
I told her I needed no "building up;" all I wanted was that
my husband and myself should be left alone, and that people
should not meddle with our affairs.
She apologised for what she had said, and we returned to
the sitting-room, and she asked me to introduce her to Miss
Grant. I did so, although I feared that in some way or other
she would be the means of interrupting the pleasant relationship which had hitherto existed between us.
After she had gone, her conversation troubled m; a great
deal. What did it all mean? Had the busybodies been trying to bring about an alliance between my husband and Carrie?
Had Brigham Young been working all along to this end?
However it might be, I resolved that, at least, Carrie should
know nothing of the matter from me.
One morning, the Apostle Heber C. Kimball called in his
carriage. It was very early, being only about seven o'clock.
Mr. Stenhouse went out to see him, but in his blunt way he
said: "I do not want you, I want Sister Fanny to takea ride
with me." My husband brought him into the house and he
told me he wanted to have a talk with me, "You must not fix
up," he said, "or I won't ride with you. Come along in your
wrapper and slippers, and just put on your sunbonnet."
I told him that I never went out in a sunbonnet.  "Well
then, do it for the first time," he said.
I suggested that I had had no breakfast, and asked him if he
would wait and have some with us.
"No," said he, "I have plenty of wives around this town,
and we will find breakfast somewhere." So I started just as
I was, and he told the driver-who, I think, was one of his own
sons-to call round and see "the folks "-meaning his wives.
Then, turning to me, he said: "You never looked prettier,
Sister Fanny, you ought always to wear a sunbonnet, but you
like dress a great deal too much-you will keep your husband
poor-and ther how will he be able to carry out the commands
4i6 
"THE FINEST THING IN THE WORLD."
of God? Did you ever think of that? Then, again, you dress
your children too much; it must take pretty well all your
time to make their clothes; and, see, what it must cost. Now,
I'm going to give you some good advice.  Do what my folks
do. I tell them to make a linsey dress for each of the children, in the spring, and let them wear it all the summer, and
then, when the winter comes, it will be so full of grease and
dirt that it will be sure to keep them warm. Now I'm sure
you won't consent to do that with your children, so it is good
counsel thrown away." I knew well enough that Brother Heber was only jesting, for apparently he provided very well for
his family, although he allowed them no luxuries.  He went on
to say: "But that isn't what I wanted to speak to you about;
I had something else to say.  When is your husband going to
marry Miss Grant? That girl has got to be looked after by
some good man and woman, and I think that you and Brother
Stenhouse would do first-class.  What do you think?"
"I should not like my husband to marry her," I said.
"And why not, Sister Fanny?" he asked.
"Because I myself love her," I replied.
"Why that is the very reason why he ought to do it th
sooner," he said, "and you would continue to love her, and
love her all the better, too, when she belonged to your husband, and when you saw how much he loved her." He laughed
outright as he said this, and told me not to look so solemn,
"Why," he said, "it's the finest thing in the world to develop
love in the women; a man never gets so much attention in his
life as when he has got several wives all trying their best tQ
please him."
"That may be," I said, "but who is to pay attention to their
wives?"
"Things have been all upside down in the world, Sister
Fanny," he answered, "and the Priesthood is going to set them
all in order. It is the women's place to minister to the men,
and the men, in return, will save them in the Kingdom, if
they are good girls."
By this time we had driven round several of his fields in the
I
417 
AN UNPLEASANT FACT.
lower part of the City, and at last we stopped at the house of
one of his wives.  She very kindly prepared breakfast for us;
after which we called to see two or three other wives, and
then returned home. On the way back, he tried to get me to
promise that I would persuade my husband to marry Miss
Grant. This I positively refused to do, although it would have
been dangerous for me not to acquiesce had it not been that
Brother Heberwas attached to me and allowed me to say what
I liked against Polygamy, laughing at me and telling me to
"hold on" when I became too much in earnest.
This constant reference to Carrie began to trouble me seriously, although, so far, I had not yet spoken about it either to
her or to my husband, and did not intend to. I felt sure that
Carrie, poor child, was perfectly innocent; she had refused to
go to several parties with us, and had otherwise declined to
accompany my husband, and I believed that I had no cause
for uneasiness.
Thus time passed, and more than a year flew by, and Carrie
still remained with me. Lately I thought that her manner
was changed and that she was a good deal altered. I noticed
that she was shy when in the presence of my husbad, and
that she rather avoided him. For a long time I had not suspected that anything was wrong between them, and the knowledge that Carrie was troubled, and that my husband was the
cause, came upon me suddenly. She began by staying away
for several days at a time, and at last she told me that she was
going away for a while to visit a friend in the country. She
looked so unhappy that I felt sure that all was not right, and
begged her not to go, but she would not listen to me. It was
necessary for her to go, she stated, and would say no more.
She bade me good-bye, and for two months I heard nothing
of her, supposing that she was in the country, and then I was
surprised to learn that she was visiting with a friend in another part of the city, and that she was very ill indeed. I immediately went to call upon her, and she was much pleased to
see me, and then I discovered that she had not been in the
country at all,.but had been there in the City with her friend.
4i8 
CARRIE'S LADY-FRIEND.
I could not at the time understand her conduct, but as she, in
common with most other delicate people, was rather capricious,
I allowed it to pass without any comment. She told me that
as soon as she felt a little better she would come and see me,
but she never came, and I was somewhat offended at her supposed neglect, and thought that before I visited her again I
would wait and see whether she first came up to our house.
All this time, a friend of Carrie's was in the habit of looking in very frequently upon some trifling errand or other, and
I noticed that she always waited for the return of my husband,
and then made some excuse to go out with him, and they had
long conversations together. There was some mystery, I
clearly perceived, and as a wife and a woman I determined
that it was my duty to find out what that mystery was.
4I9
Or 
CHAPTER Xxx.
TAKING A SECOND WIFE:-THE EXPERIENCE OF THE
FIRST.
A Mysterious Errand-Going a Courting-Silence and Obedience, a Wife's
Duty-Kept in the Dark-Mistaken Kindness-The Conflict Between Faith
and Reason-A "Rebellious Woman"-My  Poor Friend Carrie-Women
Advocating Polygamy-Finding a Wife for My Husband-The Poor Victim
-An Unusually Loving Husband-A Consultation with Brother Brigham —
The Curse of a Whole Life-The Fiat of the Prophet-The Penalties of
Disobedience-" I Can Only Consent "-A Message from Eliza R. Snow The Bad Logic of the Poetess-An Unwilling Sacrifice-An Unalterable
Decision. 
DID not presume to ask my husband what it was that he
I had to talk about with Carrie's friend, but I instinctively
felt what it might be, and I was so much troubled in mind
that I thought I would never go to see her again.
By that time I had learned, as every Mormon wife does
learn, never to ask questions. The wife of a Saint never
dares to ask her husband whither he is going or when he will
return. She is not expected to know or care what business
her husband may have on hand when he leaves home in the
evening, after making a most elaborate toilet, with frequent
admiration of himself in the mirror.  If the poor wife feels
that she must say something, to give vent to her overwrought
feelings, she simply asks in a conscious, guilty way, when he
will be home again; wishing too often in her secret heart 
SPARING A WIFE'S FEELINGS.
that he might say-Never. Her duty is to be silent and
unobservant; and though some poor women have, when their
outraged feelings were overcharged, inadvertently betrayed
curiosity respecting the movements of the absent ones, they
have soon been sternly taught their duty, and those loving
husbands have given them good cause to repent of their
inquisitiveness.
And who can blame these disconsolate, lonely women if
thus they feel? Their religion alone is to blame. It has
been the destruction of that sweet confidence which should
exist between husband and wife, and it has divided hearts and
interests which should inseparably have been for ever one.
This, slowly but no less painfully, I was beginning to understand. However earnestly I might try to combat the idea,
my life was wretched with the one continual fear of what I
might see or hear of my husband. I tried to drive away such
thoughts, and I called to mind all the acts of kindness and
devotion which he had shown whose love my heart held dear.
Sometimes, arguing with myself, I said: No, my husband will
not deceive me; no matter what other men may do or be with
their wives, many husband will be frank and true with me.
So I thought then; but I was destined to realise in my own
experience how utterly impossible it is for any man, no matter
how honest and truthful he may naturally be, to practice
Polygamy without becoming a hypocrite; and the more he
loves his wife, the greater hypocrite he will become, trying to
deceive her with the foolish notion that half his cruelty is
done in attempting to "spare her feelings."
Up to this time I had been able, with some effort, to banish
those doubts which would, against my will, intrude upon my
mind. I had schooled myself to believe, that when it was
really necessary, my husband would frankly and freely speak
to me about that subject which was ever uppermost in my
heart, and I knew my own nature sufficiently well to feel sure
that I could grapple with any difficulty, if once I looked it
boldly in the face. All that I feared was deception on my
husband's part. That, I felt, would be more than I could
26
42I 
"I DARED NOT THINK."
endure. In the whole course of our married life hitherto,- Ihad never known him to deceive me, and even now, although
influenced by the counsel of the Elders, he thought of bringing to our home another wife, I well knew that he sympathised with me; for he knew the deep, deep sorrow that the
dread alone of Polygamy had for years brought to my heart,
and he might well be apprehensive of what the practical
reality would be. At a later period, I knew that he fell into
that error, common among Mormon men, of keeping "it"
from their wives until all was settled. This was not the kind
of treatment calculated to inspire me with confidence; it may
suit some natures, but I doubt even that. Men frequently
imagine that they understand a woman's nature better than
she does herself, and acting upon this belief, and full of good
intentions, they err most fatally.
My husband thought that he was acting kindly to me when
he said nothing of all that transpired between him and Carrie;
but when I saw the visits of Carrie's lady-friend so frequently
repeated, I began to suspect the truth and was much troubled.
I was, however, too proud to question him on the subject, at
the risk of getting an evasive answer, and it was evident that
the two persons most intimately interested in the matter
intended that I should be kept in the dark. I saw through all
this and it did not tend either to restore my peace of mind or
to make me more pleasant in my intercourse with Carrie or
my husband. In their conduct I could see nothing but
deception, however good their intentions might be, and I felt
that they were treating me as a child. The thought was very
painful to me, and it was only with a great effort that I suppressed it.
In fact, I dared not think; but when doubts and fears
crowded themselves upon my mind, so that I was compelled
to give them utterance, I would lock myself in my room or
wander away to some lonely spot and there vent my feelings
in indignant words. At other times I did think over the
wrongs which Polygamy  inflicted, until my feelings werealmost beyond endurance; then in those moments of anguish
422 
A " REBELLIOUS" WOMAN.
I would prostrate myself in humility and repentance before
the Lord, and would plead for strength to endure and submit
to His will. Then again, I would pace the room, my soul
filled with rebellion, and heartfelt curses against a system
which had so withered and blighted all my life and had taken
for ever the sunshine out of my existence. For ever! Ah!
how those words lingered in my thoughts; how they chilled
my heart, and left me utterly without hope; for we were told
that eternity would be but a repetition of this life on eatth.
Polygamy, we were taught, was to be practiced in eternity;
it was to be the "Celestial Order of Heaven"; it was an
eternal law. But if it was so loathsome now, how should I
ever become reconciled to, and happy in, it? Then too we
were told by the Elders that we should have no other heaven
than that which we began on earth, and I was at a loss to
conjecture what sort of a heaven mine would be. It may
appear strange that such absurdities should ever seriously
have found a place in my mind; but when one at starting
accepts a system as true-however absurd that system may
be-and learns to regard all that is connected with it as
beyond the shadow of a doubt-after years of discipline, te
mind is ready to receive almost anything that may be offered
to it from the same source. In my own case, I was so convinced that, however reason might object, all that we were
taught was true, that I was utterly without hope, and would
have felt happy could I have believed that death was annihilation. Of earthly happiness I had given up all expectation.
These painful feelings, of course, had a marked effect upon
my daily life. I grew weary, and my health failed, I became
thin, and my features were marked with care and anxiety.
When people came to see me, I said little to them and their
very presence I felt irksome. Mechanically I went through
the daily routine of duty, but my heart was in nothing that I
did. I dared not even trust myself to speak to any one, for
fear of becoming the subject of conversation and' attracting
the attention of the authorities, which was not at all desirable,
for the position of a "rebellious woman" in those days was
I
423, 
ALONE!
anything but pleasant. I stood alone. Upon my husband I
looked with suspicion; my children were too young to under stand me; Carrie, whom I had taken to my heart, to whom I
had confided my sorrows, whose own welfare had been so dear
to me, had, as I thought, turned against me, like an adder,
and there was no one in whom I could trust. It seemed to
me too cruel for Carrie to treat me so, and yet I could not
doubt that she was acting unfaithfully towards me.
Surrounded by my children, living under the same roof
with my husband, my heart was, nevertheless, filled with a
sense of utter loneliness and desolation. There was no one
in whom I could confide, to whom I might tell my sorrows,
and from whose counsel or strength I might derive comfort.
I dared not even go and lay my griefs before God, for I had
been led to believe that all my suffering was caused by an
arbitrary decree which He willed to be enforced. How false
a notion of that loving heavenly Father whose tender care is
so manifestly shown in his gentle dealings with the weakest
of His creatures!
It was now about six months since Carrie left my house,
and I was under the impression that all that time certain
well-intentioned sisters had been doing all they could to bring
about a marriage between her and my husband. Her health,
however, was so bad that sometimes for weeks together she
did not leave her room. At the time, of course, I knew,
nothing of this, but I afterwards heard of it. When I called
upon her, which I did when I found that she was too ill to
come to see me, I thought she was greatly changed in her
manner, but when I thought of her lonely position my heart
warmed towards her and I forgot all my suspicions. Certainly, I wanted to ask her one plain question relative to my
husband, but my pride would not allow me to speak to her on
that subject unless she first mentioned it to me. One day I
thought that she was about to make a confession. Talking
indifferently of ordinary matters, she suddenly said, "I am
surprised you ever wish to see me; " but when I asked her
why, expecting that she would now explain what had so long
424 
AN OBJECT OF INTEREST.
troubled me, she answered evasively, and nothing more was
said.
I shall always believe that I myself was not the only person
interested at that time about Carrie's feelings. There are
some of the sisters who-strange as it may seem-spend their
lives in promoting the practice of Polygamy. When once
these good sisters have set their hearts to get a man a second
wife, they do not let a trifle discourage them; if they do not
succeed with one girl, they try with another, and it is seldom
that they fail of meeting with their reward.
In Carrie, at this time, they found a subject of peculiar
interest. If her failing health put an end, for a time, to all
thoughts of her own marriage, that was no reason why my
husband should not select a second wife elsewhere. Poor
victim!  He, of course, had no pleasure or interest in the
matter; his religion alone compelled him; he suffered as
much as I did! To look round on all the young and pretty
girls he knew; to select one and pay his court to her, was
painful enough I dare venture to assert; but he seemed to
bear it very well indeed, and the "Revelation" appeared to
agree with him nicely.
With Carrie's absence from our house, the rumors ab(Wt
her which had troubled me so much  somewhat subsided.
Nothing could silence the secret apprehension which continually held my soul in dread; but the fear of my young friend's
influence once removed, I was comparatively at peace. It was,
however, but the lull before the storm. I soon learned that
in losing Carrie I did not lose Polygamy, and from about that
time I can date my husband's desire to sustain his brethren in
the performance of their duty and his wish to act as they did,
especially in reference to the "Celestial Order of Heaven."
Just at that time the" Morrill Bill " for the suppression of
Polygamy was presented to Congress, and all true Mormons
were made to feel that it was their duty to stand by their
leader; and though, in itself, they might see nothing desirable
in Polygamy, yet, if they had not already multiplied wives, it
was their duty to do so without any delay.
-425 
POLYGAMY UPON THE MIND.
Ever watchful as I was, I noticed little changes in my husband, which under ordinary circumstances would have escaped
my observation. By this time one all-absorbing idea had
taken possession of my mind, and my husband's thoughts, I
believe, were turned in the same direction-only our wishes
did not exactly coincide. Polygamy was the thought common
to both, but upon its desirability we entertained dissimilar
views.
A man with Polygamy upon his mind was then a creature
which I did not understand, and which I had not fully studied.
Some years later, when I had a little more experience in Mormonism, I discovered several never-failing signs by which
one might know when a man wished to take another wife.
He would suddenly awaken to a sense of his duties; he would
have serious misgivings as to whether the Lord would pardon
his neglect in not living up to his privileges; he would become
very religious, and would attend to his meetings his "testimony meetings," singing meetings, and all sorts of other
"meetings," which  seemed just then to be very numerous,
and in various other ways he would show his anxiety to live
up to his religion. He would thus be frequently absent from
home, which, of course, he deeply regrets, as he lores so
dearly the society of his wife and children. The wife, perhaps, poor simple soul! thinks that he is becoming unusually
loving and affectionate, for he used not, at one time, to express
much sorrow at leaving her alone for a few hours; and she
thinks how happy she ought to feel that such a change has
come over her husband, although, to be sure, he was always
as good as most of the other Mormon men.
My husband was a good and consistent Mormon, and very
much like the rest of his brethren in these matters; and the
brethren, knowing themselves how he felt, sympathised with
him, and urged him on, and, by every means in their power,
aided him in his noble attempts to carry out "the commands
of God!"
One evening, when he came home, he seemed preoccupied
as if some matter of importance were troubling his mind
426 
BROUGHT HOME TO ME.
This set me thinking, too. I saw that he wanted to say something to me, and I waited patiently. " I am going to the ball,"
he presently remarked, "and I am going alone, for Brother
Brigham wishes me to meet him there." I knew at once
what was passing in his mind and dared not question him.
He went and saw Brigham.  What passed between them, I
do not know, but when my husband returned he intimated
to me that it had been arranged that he should take another
wife.
The idea that some day another wife would be added to our
household was ever present in my mind, but somehow, when
the fact was placed before me in so many unmistakeable
words, my heart sank within me, and I shrank from the realisation that our home was at last to be desecrated by the foul
presence of Polygamy. The very effort which my husband
made to break the news gently to me made my heart more
rebellious.
What intelligence could be more terrible to an affectionate
wife, the mother of a family, than this. In my girlhood, as
the reader knows, I had forsaken all for the sake of my husband and his religion. We had toiled together and suffered
together. For fifteen long years our interests and our affeCtions had been one and inseparable. Nothing, but the fear
of Polygamy, had ever come between my husband and myself;
-but for that horrible apprehension, and the unhappy feeling
which it occasioned, no wedded pair could have been more
truly united than my husband and myself, but that, certainlythat only-had cast a shadow over the bliss of our domestic
life.  Our little ones-a mutual care-had grown up around
us; they had occupied all our thoughts and all our attention, and in them our own love seemed to be renewed. They
were now, at least the elder ones, fast ripening into manhood and womanhood and gave promise that they would be
the glory and blessing of our old age.  Our home was never
disturbed by any of those petty dissentions and divided interests which make so many families unhappy. When in the
evening we gathered round our peaceful fireside, in the
'427 
"FATHER TAKING ANOTHER WIFE."
pleasant interchange of thought, in intelligent conversation,
and domestic amusements, and in little loving courtesies, we
realised, as far as could be realised in this imperfect state, the
meaning of that household expression-" a little heaven upon
earth." In a word;-while God had abundantly blessed us in
basket and in store,-my husband's tender affection had ever
been to me the same as it was on our marriage-day; my heart,
with all the true deep love which a woman can feel, had found
its only happiness in him; while our children, bound to each of
us alike by the fondest ties, formed a family, which for unos tentatious, but true, affection, and for unity of thought and
aim, could not anywhere have been surpassed.
But now all this was to be changed. Let a Gentile mother
think how she would feel if she heard her children talk of
"Father taking aznoter wife!"  Let her think what it would
be if another woman-however good and pure she might be
-were brought home to take her place in the family circle, to
divide with her her husband's affections, to come, after years
of undivided love, between herself and him who had so long
been all in all to her!  And yet, all this I felt, and, oh, much,
much more than I could ever express; for who can tell in words
the deepest bitterness which the heart too sadly feels?
Everything around me changed. Every one I met reminded me of the miserable idea which had taken possession
of my thoughts.   All that before had seemed so bright and
beautiful now revolted me, and my soul itself seemed filled
with unavailing and unnatural hatred. I hated Mormonism, I
hated the Revelation. I hated myself, and I hated my husband.  All that had been influenced by, or in contact with, the
detested and accursed thing I utterly abhorred. My woman's
soul within me made me feel that I should gladly stand aloof
from that degrading horror, and shake even from my clothes
the touch of any one, or anything, that had been polluted by
any connection with it.
Almost fainting, now that the truth came home to me in all
its startling reality, I asked my husband when he proposed to
take his second wife.
428 
HALTING BETWEEN TWO OPINIONS.
" Immediately," he replied, "that is to say, as soon as I
can."
We were silent for some time. My mind was troubled.
Had I been able to consider the whole affair as an outrage
upon humanity in general, and an insult to my sex in particular, I should have replied with scorn and defiance.  Had  I
implicitly believed in the divinity of the Revelation I should
have bowed my head in meek submission. But I did neither
of these. The feelings of my heart naturally led me to hate
with a most perfect hatred the very mention of the word
Polygamy, while at the same time I still believed, or tried to
make myself believe, that the Revelation was from God, and
must therefore be obeyed. Such was the strange and contradictory position in which I was placed.
I tried to reason with myself. My husband and the Elders
had taught me that the fault was not in Mormonism but in my
early Gentile training; and I believed them, and thought that
all the inconsistencies which I had heard of, or seen, in Brigham Young and the other prominent men, should be attributed
to the weakness of human nature; and not to the system. Still,
doubts would suggest themselves; only, however, to be immediately suppressed, for it was by slow degrees that the
truth dawned upon my mind. It was only natural that I
should hesitate. I was a wife and a mother, and I could not
consult my own wishes or desires. It was my duty, I knew,
to do what was right, at whatever cost to my own feelings, and
I dared not think of open rebellion. Had I then rebelled, I
must have renounced all that in life I held dearest-husband,
children, all. I knew my husband's devotion to the faith and
that he would not hesitate to make any sacrifice for it. He
would even glory in giving up what men hold dearest, for the
sake ot the Church, and we had both been taught that whosoever forsook husband or wife for the sake of the Church, it
should be accounted to them for righteousness. I saw around
me daily and hourly the effects of this teaching upon the unfortunate wives and children, but I nevertheless strove-how
painfully none but myself could tell-to banish from my mind
429 
DISCUSSING THE DIFFICULTY.
every doubt, and to esteem the natural questioning of my heart
a sin.
"Are you not satisfied that it is right for me to take another
wife?" my husband asked.
"I have never yet really doubted that the Revelation was
from God," I replied, "for I cannot believe that any man would
be so blasphemous and wicked as to set forth such a revelation in God's name, unless he received it as he said he did. If
it is from God, of course you are right to obey it; but if I
were to consult my own feelings I would never consent to live
in Polygamy. I would rather risk salvation, and tell the Lord
that He had placed upon me a burden heavier than I was able
to bear, and that I regarded Him as a hard taskmaster. But
when the salvation of my husband and children, to say nothing of my own, is at stake, my wishes and happiness go for
nothing, and I can only consent."
From that moment, I felt like a condemned criminal for
whom there was not a shadow of hope or a chance of escape.
Could I possibly have looked upon the sacred obligations of
marriage as lightly as Mormonism taught me to regard them,
I believe I should have broken every tie and risked the consequences.  But I had vowed to be faithful unto deathl, and if
this second marriage was for my husband's welfare, and for the
salvation of us and of our children, I resolved to make the
effort to subdue my rebellious heart, or die in the attempt.
For the first time in my life, I thanked God that I was not a
man, and that the salvation of my family did not depend upon
me; for if fifty revelations had commanded it I could not have
taken the responsibility of withering one loving, trustingo
heart. I felt that if such laws were given to us, our woman's
nature ought to have teen adapted to them, so that submission
to them might be as much a pleasure to us as it was to the
men, and that we might at least feel that we were justly dealt
with.
Not long after this, my husband brought me a message
from Eliza R. Snow. She wanted me to take tea with her and
he urged me to accept the invitation. I did not want to go,
430 
ELIZA'S LOGIC.
for I knew too well her object in sending for me.  She had
been talking with my husband about me, I felt sure, and that
was how she came to send the message by him. I went, however, and, as I anticipated, she wanted to talk with me about
Polygamy, and to try to convince me that it was for our best
interests that my husband should take another wife, and that
it was quite time he did so.
I told her that he was not yet in a position to do so. "We
have quite a family," I said, "and I think he should at least be
allowed to wait until he has accumulated a little before he
embarrasses himself with new responsibilities."
"And where would the kingdom of God be," she asked, "if
we had all talked in this way? Let your husband take more
wives, and let thenm help him, and you will feel blessed in
keeping the commands of God."
"There would be no good in my husband taking another
wife," I said, "while I feel as I do now. To be acceptable to
the Lord, a sacrifice should be made willingly and in a proper
spirit, and I do not think that under present circumstances it
is proper for him to do this thing."
"Let him be the judge of that," she replied; "do not seek
to control him; he alone is responsible, and therefore let him"
do as he thinks best."
"But," I said, "he himself does not want another wife yet."
But I spoke with hesitation, for my heart misgave me.
"You are mistaken;" she answered, "your husband is a very
good man'and desires to live his religion, and it is a great grief
to him to know that you feel as you do, and you really must
try to overcome your opposition. If you had a loaf of bread
to make, and you made it, and it was pronounced good, do you
think it would be of the slightest consequence what feelings
agitated your mind while you were making it, so long as it was
well made? So it is with the Lord. He does not care with
what feelings you give your husband another wife, so long as
you do so."
This was a miserable attempt at reasoning, to say nothing
f its falsity; and notwithstanding all she said, I still felt that
43  
I RESOLVE TO GIVE THEM TROUBLE.
no blessing would even attend an unwilling sacrifice, and I
told her so. She spoke to me very kindly, however, and tried
to encourage me, and suggested that Carrie would be a very
proper person for my husband to marry. I had now no longer
any doubt in my mind that it had been all "arranged," and that
opposition on my part would be all in vain. I was indignant
at this, for I believed that, as the Revelation itself said, Ithe first wife-ought first to have been consulted. This, however, I subsequently found was as false as the system itself.
I believed that I was the victim of a conspiracy, and I did not
intend to submit without giving them some trouble.
I returned home, pondering over what had been said to me,
with a feeling of intense weariness oppressing my heart. I
did not know what to think. It appeared to me that every
one had determined that Carrie should be my husband's second wife, and I now believed, with my talkative friend, that
Brigham Young had certainly intended it from the beginning.
I felt that I would rather that he should marry' almost any one
else than her; for I felt certain that I should hate any woman
whom  he might marry, no matter how much I might have
loved her before.
But my mind was soon relieved of its trouble respecting
poor Carrie, for, as I before mentioned, her failing health forbade
all thoughts of marriage, and my husband, after a short time,
never spoke to me about her. The real cause of my distress,
however, was by no means removed-it was determined,
without appeal, that my husband should, notwithstanding any
impediment to the contrary, take another wife, whoever that
chosen one might be,   my apprehensions, therefore, were not
removed, they were only turned in another direction.
I
432 
CHAPTER XXXIo
TRIALS-THE SECOND WIFE CHOSEN-SHADOWS OF LIFE.
A List of Eligible Young Ladies-Making a Selection-Asking the First Wife's
Consent-My Husband's Bride Elect-Watching a Husband's Wooing-" Her
Little Day of Triumph "-Another Victim to the Heavenly "Order "-The
Important Claims of Love-Reminiscences of a First Love-Submissive to
the Faith-A Man Cannot Love Two at One Time-A Very Youthful Bride A  "Very Painful Task"-A Long Courtship-Bearing the Cross-A Visit
from my Husband's Bride-Elect-Belinda-Carrie Grant's Illness-Divulging
a Secret-" Love me one day Longer "-The Approach of Death-A Strange
Promise for a Wife to Give-I Choose a Wife for My Husband-Carrie's 
Last Hours-" It is Better So "-A Sacred Pledge-My Last Visit to Carrie A Sad Farewell.
THE next day my husband proposed several young girls for
my consideration, but I felt that it was of very little
consequence to me upon whom his choice might fall.
It is a custom among the Mormon married men-those at
least who make any pretensions to doing what is right and
who wish to spare the feelings of their wives as much as the
degrading system will allow-to make it appear as if the second wife were chosen by the first, and they go through the
form of consulting with her as to who shall be selected. The
husband will mention the names of several eligible young
ladies, among whom is sure to be the one upon whom he has
already set his affections. If the wife should try to make
herself agreeable by suggesting one or another of these young 
THE BRIGHT, PARTICULAR STAR.
ladies, some objection is sure to be raised. One is too thoughtless; the relations of another are not quite so agreeable as
they might be; and the temper of a third is said to be not
very good. In this way, one after another is taken off the list,
until only one remains-the bright particular star of whom
all along the husband has been thinking, -and if the wife
should make any objections to this one, the husband, of course,
has a ready answer. In most cases her extreme youth is an
excuse for everything; she will have plenty of time to learn,
and will be the more ready to be taught.
When once they have obtained the reluctant consent of
their wives, it is astonishing how bright and cheerful these
Mormon husbands become. Notwithstanding all that they
have said to the contrary, it is evident that Polygamy is no
trial to their faith. They say that it is as great a cross% to
them as it is to their wives, but somehow or other they take
very kindly to it.
It was soon settled who should be the honored maiden to
whom my husband should pay his addresses. Her name was
Belinda, and she was the daughter of the Apostle Parley P.
Pratt, whom I have already mentioned as coming to an untimely
end in Arkansas. I, of course, was not expected to ask any
questions or evince any curiosity respecting the girl or my
husband's relations towards her. I had given my consent, I
had acted my part, or at least all the part that was expected of
me; I had fulfilled my duty as a Mormon first wife when I
agreed to another wife being taken, and, henceforth, all that
transpired was-so the Elders would have said-no business
of mine.
Mormon domestic matters are to the Gentile looker-on a
perfect mystery. No one outside of Mormonism can realise
the position of a wife, in her husband's own house, waiting for
him to bring home to her another wife. But the Mormon
women understand and feel it all. They know what it is to
watch the course of a husband's courtship and note how he
progresses with his wooing; and they could, if they dared, tell
the painful feelings that rankle in their breasts at such a time.
434 
" ANOrHER JEWEL IN HIS CROWN." 
Nor is the new wife much happier.  The girl against whom
the first wife now feels so bitterly, will, in all probability, some
day be as unhappy as she is now. In due course of time,
when the wooing is over and the maiden is won, she will be
brought home, and will have her little day of triumph until
her lord and master deems it necessary to add another "jewel"
to his crown, and then her heart will be rent, as the first wife's
was, and another crushed and degraded victim will be added
to that list of suffering women who have become martyrs to
this heavenly order of marriage!
Intent on his wooing, the husband is, of course, particularly
attentive to his personal appearance, and spares no pains to
render himself attractive to the young lady whose affections
he proposes to win.  Business, and domestic duties, of course,
give place to the more important claims of love, and everything must be sacrificed upon the altar of that blind divinity.
The wife sees all this, but she is not expected to feel. She
remembers the time when her husband used to find his greatest pleasure in paying to her those little endearing attentions
which love demands, and finds its reward in rendering. She
remembers the time when he vowed at the altar to be faithftl
until death, and how often afterwards he has reiterated that
vow and declared that no other woman should ever win from
him a thought that would be disloyal to her.
It is impossible for any man to act justly-to say nothing
of acting with affection-towards his wife while his thoughts
and wishes are wandering towards a younger rival. Words
are uttered, which in themselves perhaps are trifling, but which,
under the circumstances, have a meaning bitterly cruel; and
little things are done which, like the worm at the root, gnaw
the heart itself and embitter the whole existence. Women
whose minds were said to be strong, have written and spoken
much of late years in an endeavor to unsex themselves. That
men and women should be morally and socially equal, no rightminded person can for a moment doubt, but a woman never
was and never will be a man. In sentiment and feeling, her
mind is utterly the reverse of masculine, and no man, how
435 
HE COULD NOT LOVE TWO AT ONCE!
ever refined or sensitive he may be, can ever fully understand
a woman's heart. A man may be faithfully and devotedly attached to his wife, but she can never be to him what he is to
her. Every thought and affection of her soul is centred in
him. He is the life of her own existence. In her eyes he is
all that is noble and good and true.  He is her idol, her love,
her all.  Horribly then, Ah, a thousand times horribly and
cruelly do they sin against the holiest principles of human nature, who crush with coldness and unkindness those warm and
tender sentiments of affection which in her heart a woman
cherishes towards her husband. How often have I mourned
in secret some careless word, or cold, indifferent look which
my truant husband has thoughtlessly bestowed upon me when
leaving the house to visit his intended bride words, which, to
him, had no particular meaning, perhaps, but which pierced
my heart.-I knew too well that he could not love two at once.
It was evident which way his thoughts were wandering, although he, like the rest of his brethren, assured me that principle and religion-and no other motive-attracted him so
often to the side of his more youthful and, of course, more
pleasing companion.,
My husband's intended certainly was very young-almost
too young for a bride she would have been considered in any
other community-and I must in fairness allow that she was
very handsome. It is of the utmost importance that a Mormon girl should marry young. Women everywhere are never
anxious to grow old, but among the Mormons age is especially
dreaded by the women, for when years have robbed them of
their personal attractions, in most cases they lose all hold upon
their husband's affections and find themselves obliged to give
place to prettier and more youthful rivals. A woman's position in the world to come, as I have before mentioned, depends,
so the elders say, very much upon the number of children she
has borne in this; it is, therefore, a consideration of the very
first importance that she should marry as early in life as possible, and this obligation is never for a moment overlooked by
the refined and pure-minded Mormon men.
436 
A VERY PAINFUL TASK!
And now began the "painful task" of wooing the young
lady.  My husband told me that it was "a very painful duty,"
and as an obedient wife I felt bound to believe him. It was,
of course, no pleasure to him to pay his addresses to an in teresting young girl; it was no anxiety to be with her which
made him hasten away to the damsel's house of an evening.
Oh dear no! it was pure principle, love for the kingdom oi
God, and "a very painful task!"  He seemed, however, to
bear it remarkably well, and manifested a zeal which was per fectly astonishing to me considering the circumstances. In
fact, I felt it my duty to restrain him a little for the sake of his
health, for he seemed so anxious to perform his "task" prop erly that he could scarcely spare time to take his meals; but
regardless of his own feelings he did not pay much attention
to my suggestions.
But deeply as I sympathised with my husband, there were
times when I felt that mine was indeed no imaginary sorrow,
and that nothing could lull the storm that had gathered in my
breast. The affliction which I had so long dreaded was now
right at my door, and the most painful feelings agitated my
mind. Sometimes I shut myself up in my own room and tried
to reason with myself; then I would kneel, and pray, and weep
with passionate emotion; and again I would pace the floor,
my heart overflowing with anger and indignation. I never, at
that time, knew what it was to be happy, for I felt that I was a
burden and hindrance to my husband and I longed to die. I
had loved him so devotedly that I could not even now cast
him from my heart, and though I felt bitterly my position, I
believed that he would not willingly wound me and that he
was acting from the purest of motives.  But it was all in vain.
I could not change my nature, and my heart would rebel.
The courtship was continued for months, and the end seemed
as far off as ever; for on account of the youthfulness of the
bride elect my husband wished the marriage indefinitely postponed. It would be impossible for me to tell the thousand
annoyances and indignities to which I was forced to submittrials which might appear too trifling even to name, but which
27
437
-4 
" IF MATTERS WERE REVERSED?"
to a wife, under such circumstances, were crosses which she
found it hard enough to bear.  My husband knew nothing of
these things, and, had he done so, it is more than probable that
he would have considered it weakness in me to be troubled
about matters of such small consequence-little actions and
foolish words which he would have said I ought to have treated
with contempt. It was easy to say that, but not so easy to do.
Let any wife picture to herself how she would feel, if after
schooling her heart to submission, after realising that she was
no longer to be first and dearest in her husband's affections,
she were to be constantly hearing the friends and relations of
the young girl to whom her husband was engaged boasting of
his devotion to her and openly expressing their belief that he
had never loved before I How would any wife be pleased if,
whenever her husband's intended received a valuable present
from  him, she were particularly informed of the fact, and a
thousand little aggravating details were added to make her, if
possible, more miserable. I do not know how such things
would appear to a man's mind if matters were reversed and
the wife took a couple of husbands to her heart, but I have
noticed that "the lords of creation" are generally-and, no
doubt, justly-sensitive enough, even if they only suspect their
wives of engaging in a trifling flirtation; and I know that,
however silly she may be considered for doing so, a woman in
her heart feels all these things.
A woman can nerve herself to endure almost anything, and
outwardly she may conceal her feelings, but there are limits
beyond which endurance is not possible. A chance meeting
with the girl who has superseded her in her husband's love; or
worse still, should she chance to surprise the affectionate couple
tete d te'e, is sufficient to dispel all her good resolutions and
to destroy that tranquility of mind which she finds it so
difficult to preserve. She becomes sick at hleart,- nervous and
entirely unfitted for her duties. I have frequently heard Mormon women say that, notwithstanding their husbands had been
for many years polygamists, they could never see the other
wives without a feeling of anger and indignation arising in
438 
CULTIVATING BELINDA'S ACQUAINTANCE.
their hearts. I know that in my own case I never became
reconciled to the system.
My husband was called away to the Eastern States upon
business, and his marriage was postponed, as I have already
mentioned, to give the bride an opportunity of growing a little
older first. I thought that the present would be a good time
to show her some little attentions, which I believed it was my
duty to do. The idea of coming in contact with her was certainly not at all pleasant, but I felt that it was only right for
me to act in a friendly manner towards her, however painful it
might be. She was the cause of much sorrow to me, but I
could not blame her, for she had been born and brought up in
the system, and, of course, supposed it true; but, for all that,
it is utterly impossible for any woman to think complacently
of another who is weaning from her her husband's affections,
however innocent that other may be of intentional wrong.
Belinda was a very nice girl and, under other circumstances,
I believe I should have liked her very much. I looked upon
her as little more than a child, and my husband has frequently
told me that he also regarded her in that light, but to me it
was of small consequence that he thought of her as a child,
so long as he acted towards her as a woman. Now that he
was away from home there was no danger that she would meet
him, so I invited her in a friendly way to call upon me. She
came, and I had one or two other ladies present, for I was not
like my husband in that particular-I had no anxiety to be
alone with her.  My effort to cultivate a friendly feeling
towards her was not very successful. There was a coldness
and restraint on both sides which we could not overcome, and
I felt not a little relief when the evening was over. Subset
quently I renewed the attempt, but to no purpose; her very
presence in my house and among my children seemed in itself
an insult to me.
It was not strange that I should feel thus. Think what the
feelings of any wife would be under such circumstances. A
family of children was growing up around me. Anxious for
their future welfare, I surrounded them with the best influences
439' 
MY HUSBAND'S AFFIANCED WIFE!
which I could command, and my constant effort was to train
them so that they should blush at everything that was not
honorable and upright. I had daughters of my own - one of
them quite growing up into womanhood. Had my husband
been a Gentile, and had he gone astray, his wrong-doing would
not have been introduced into my home itself, nor would it
have been a subject of conversation among my children. But
under Mormonism how was I situated? Why, I was compelled
to drain the cup of degradation to its very dregs-the sanctity
of my home itself was invaded, and I felt ashamed to think
that I- wife and mother as I was -was entertaining many husband's affianzced "wzfe" (!) -a child no older than my own
eldest girl; and before long she would be brought home in
my presence and among my children! Oh, detestable and
unnatural desecration of the sanctity of home! Oh brutalising and immoral burlesque upon religious faith! How could
I ever have deluded myself into the idea that such a profanation
of all that is good could by any possibility be right, that such
an outrage upon decency and propriety, such a violation of the
laws of reason and religion could be pleasing in the sight of
an all-pure God?
During my husband's absence, my poor friend Carrie Grant
had been daily growing worse in health. I had once asked
my husband if there was any truth in the rumors that I had
heard of his attachment to her, but he had assured me that
there was no foundation for them. Subsequently I learned from
Carrie's own lips that this was not exactly true. She said he
had deceived me for the sake of sparing my feelings, but I did
not appreciate such kindness. Mormonism is full of deceptions. Men deceive their wives, and in return the wives
deceive their husbands; and it is all for the sake of the
kingdom of God.
Poor Carrie! Her's was a short and unhappy life-even
her little dream of love was overclouded by disappointment.
She was now constantly confined to her room, and whenever
it was possible I used to call upon her, and attempted to make
her feel more. happy and cheerful. She used to ask me to talk
I
440 
" I AM WEARY WAITING FOR DEATH."
with her about Mormonism.  "You know," she said, "that I
have never known any other religion, and I believe that this
is right though it does not make me happy.  My father loved
Mormonism so much that I feel it must be right; the fault is
in my own evil nature that does not bend to the will of
Heaven."
One  day she said to me: "I am  getting worse, Sister
Stenhouse, and I am glad of it, for I shall die. I am of no
good here there is nothing for me to do; if I lived, I should
only cause trouble; it is better as it is."
"Carrie," I said, "You must not talk like that. You are
still very young and probably will live for many years, and you
do not know what future may lie before you."
"Do not blame me too much," she replied, for I am not the only
unhappy girl in the city. I know many girls who are very miserable. Married women think that they are the only ones who
suffer, while we girls know that nowhere upon the face of the
earth can be found such an unhappy set as we are. Why did
Brigham Young keep me from going to my friends in the East?
I should have been happier then-I should have felt better.
But now I want to die, and I am weary waiting for death."
In this melancholy mood I found her one day when sh%
appeared particularly sad. She had been ill then about ten
months; but her loving blue eyes were just as bright as ever,
and I could see very little change in her, except that she was
not able now to leave her couch without assistance, and she
spoke as if it fatigued her very much. It was quite impossible to arouse her from the state of melancholy into which she
had fallen, and it seemed to me that she could not last long.
offered to take her to my house, and said I would nurse her
there and take care of her; but she said she was very kindly
treated by her father's family and did not wish to change.
She seemed to cling to me as if she could not bear that I
should leave her, and she told me'she had something on her
mind that troubled her; she wanted to have a long talk with
me about it, but not that day, she said. I went home that
evening with tears in my eyes.
441 
"' INDEED YOU DO LOVE ME."
As the end was fast approaching, she one day said: "I want
to tell you now, Sister Stenhouse, what I spoke of before, if
you are willing to listen and will not be angry with anything
I say. Remember, I am dying, or I never would speak to you
as I am going to."
I told her of my great love for her, and that nothing that
she could say would change that love.
"You do not know what I want to ask you, or you would
not say so," she replied; "and I so dread to lose your love that
I am afraid to tell you what is in my mind. But you know
that I am dying and you will not be very hard with me."
She was then silent for some time, as if too much fatigued
to continue the conversation.  "No: I cannot tell you to-day,"
she said at last, "I want you to love me one day longer."'
I urged her not to doubt that my love towards her could
never change, and told her that it was better for her to speak
at once and relieve her mind. She took my hand, and looked
long and tenderly at me, and then she said: "I will tell you
all, and if your love can stand that test, then indeed you do
love me."
I encouraged her, and she began: "Would you hate me if I
told you that I loved your husband?"
"No," I replied, "I would not hate you, Carrie." I said no
more, for it seemed to me that it would be wrong of me to tell
her of my suspicions and all that I had suffered at the thought
that my husband had conceived an affection for her.
"Can you possibly answer me as calmly as that?" she said;
"I thought that the very mention of such a thing would almost
kill you, for I saw how much you loved your husband, and, Ah,
how I have suffered at the thought of telling you. But that
is not all I wanted to say, or I need never have spoken to you
at all. I wanted to ask you to do me one last kindness, and
then I think I shall die happy. You know that we have been
taught that Polygamy is absolutely necessary to salvation, and
if I were to die without being sealed to some man I could not
possibly enter the celestial kingdom. My friends wish me to
be sealed to one of the authorities of the Church, but I can
442 
A SOLEMN PROMISE.
not becr the idea of being sealed to a man whom I do not
love.  I love your husband, and I wo,nt  ecu to promise that I
shall be sealed to him. If I had thought that I should recover,
I never would have let you know this, for I would not live to
give you sorrow. But, when I am gone, will you kneel by
your husband's side in the Endowment House, and be married
to him for me? Will it pain you much to do that for me,
Sister Stcnhouse?"
I felt so strangely as I listened to all this that I could not
utter a single word, and she continued: "We shall then be
together in eternity, and I am happy at the thought of that,
for I think I love you even better than I love him. And then
I believe we shall have overcome all our earthly feelings and
shall be prepared to live that celestial law, and perhaps we
may prefer it, for no doubt we shall know no unhappiness
there."
The exertion of talking seemed to be too much for her, and
she remained silent for some time. I felt ashamed that I had
allowed my feelings to influence me at such a moment, for
while she had been speaking I had allowed my thoughts to
travel back over the past year, and, now that she admitted her
love for my husband, very many circumstances came painfully
to my recollection and confirmed all that she said. I resolved,
however, not to question her, but to allow her to tell me just
what she pleased. So I knelt down by her side and whispered
into her ear a solemn promise that I would do all that she
desired. Poor girl: how I felt for her! When I had given
her this pledge, she appeared much relieved and told me freely
all that had passed between my husband and herself. and she
said she had left my house simply because she could not endure
to cause me any-sorrow. I told her of my husband's contemplated marriage with Belinda Pratt, and she appeared a good
deal troubled at it. "Let me be second," she said, "for then I
shall feel that I am nearer to you, and I want you always to
think that, when you die, if I have the power, I shall be the
first to meet you and take you by the hand."
Thus we talked together for a long time, and it was with
443 
HOPING AGAINST HOPE.
painful interest that I listened to what she said.  It was a
singular interview;  a wife receiving from a young girl the
confession that she loved her husband; that he had fully
returned her affection, and had even talked with her about
marriage: the girl requesting the wife to be married for her
to her own husband, and the wife, full of tender love towards
the girl, freely giving her a promise that she would do so. In
my sorrow at parting from her, and the great affection that I
felt towards her, all feelings of jealousy were utterly forgotten.
Before I left I said: "Carrie, whether you live or die, you shall
be married to my husband, if he ever enters into Polygamy;
and I say this although I do not doubt that he will do so, and
at the same time I think that you will live."
I really believed that she might recover; for now this burden was off her mind, I thought she would have strength to
subdue her sickness, and at first it seemed as if this would
really be the case.  The next day she appeared so much
better that her friends all became hopeful, and when I told
her that I had written to my husband and had told him, that
since he had made up his mind to go into Polygamy, I wished
him to marry her, she appeared so happy and showed her joy
in so many innocent ways that I could not be angry.
"How do you think he will feel," she said, "when he gets
your letter??-Do I look pretty well to-day? And do you
think that if I continue to get better I shall have regained my
looks before he comes home."
"Oh," I said, humoring her, "You will look quite pretty by
the time he returns, I shall be really jealous of you."
In an instant the thought of how much all mention of her
in connection with my husband must be painful to me, occurred
to her mind, and she begged me to forgive her for her carelessness.  "No," said she, "I will try never to give you pain,
and you must always love me."
For some days this improvement in her appearance continued, and I thought, and hoped, that we should soon have
her round again. I really wished her to live now, for if it
was absolutely necessary that Mr. Stenhouse must practice
0 
BESIDE THE BED OF DEATH.
Polygamy, I would prefer that, rather than any other woman,
he should marry her, for I felt that she would understand me
as no one else could.
Thus, after all, I really had selected a second wife for my
husband!
But the change in poor Carrie's looks was altogether
deceptive. News came to me one morning that she was very
much worse, and I hastened to see her. As I entered the
room, her eyes brightened, and she said: "I'm glad that you
have come, Sister Stenhouse, for I feel that I am going soon.
Then, after a pause, she added, holding up her hands-" Do
you know what that means?" The finger nails were turning
blue.
"That means death," she said; "and it is better so."
After this we conversed together for some time upon various
topics of special interest to her in the position in which she
then was, and presently she said, as if asking a question, —
"You will keep your promise, I know."
"Carrie," I answered, "if there is anything that I can say
or do that will make you feel more certain that I will keep
my promise, if I live to do so, tell me, and I will do it."
"I am afraid," she said, "that, after all, he never loved me.
He pitied my lonely situation and was so kind and good to
me that I learned to love him, and those meddlesome sisters
tried to get him to marry me, but I would not be false to you.
Then we both thought it was best not to tell you, as it would
make you grieve, although it never could take place. Even
now, had I not known that I was dying, I never would have
told you. But you will not love me less when you think of
me after I am gone?"
I told her that my affection for her would never change,
and I talked with her, and tried to soothe her dying moments,
and to make her feel less lonely; and thus the morning passed
away. In the afternoon she was silent and apparently unconscious, and before another day dawned she had passed away
to her rest.
445 
CHAPTER XXXII.
MARRIAGE FOR THE DEAD-ENTERING INTO POLYGAMY                     THE NEW WIFE.
Memor,'es of My Poor Friend Carrie-The Last Untroubled Sleep-Her Hopes
and Mine-Alone in the Night-A Mysterious "Presence"-" I Plainly Saw
Carrie Leaning Over Me"-The Wedding-Ring-"The'Presence' in the
Room  4was Gone"-Troubled About the Ring-Beside the Coffin of My
Dead Friend-I Place the Ring on Her Finger-My Husband's Gift for
Carrie-"He Considered it was Only a Dream"-Waiting for the Event The Saddest Day of My Life-My Husband's Second Marriage-I Give
Away the Bride!-Fulfilling My Promise-I Am Married to My Husband or
Carrie-Brigham's Decree: The Claims of the Living and the Dea-Mar ried for Eternity-The Bride and Bridegroom-After the Wedding-Lone.
liness and Grief-A Night of Darkness and Sorrow,
THE following evening I went round again to the house, to
gaze once more at the form of my dear friend.  She was
lying in her coffin, dressed for the grave, and I looked at her
long and tenderly as she rested sleeping there. Her features
were peaceful and natural as if in slumber; an expression of
calm tranquility hovered around her countenance, and in the
repose of death she seemed almost happy. Poor girl! her
life had been short indeed, and she had known but little
pleasure, but I believed that she was now beyond the reach of
earthly sorrow and earthly disappointment, happy in that land
where suffering and tears are all unknown.  "There shall be
no night there," the Lord of that other life had said. Sorrow
and sighing shall flee away from that bright and glorious land; 
BEYOND THE FLOODS OF DEATH.
atid the grief and pain which on earth are the portion of so
many tried and weary hearts, shall find no entrance into that
eternal rest which our Father in heaven has prepared for us
beyond the floods of death.
Oh, better far, I thought, it is that thus she should pass
away. True, she has seen but little of life, and has not tasted
many of its joys; but, as a compensation, how much has she
been spared. She was so gentle and so sensitive, so unfit to
battle with the stern realities of existence, that I felt she had
gained rather than lost in being taken away in the morning
of her life. Those anxieties, trials, and cares, which are more
or less the portion of every one of us, would never weary her
now; and, especially, she was for ever beyond the reach of
those painful thoughts and feelings which are the lot of the
Mormon women alone. Certainly, she thought, as also did I,
that in that other, future life, after the resurrection, we should
live together a life much like that which we lived on earth,
only more glorious and happy. We could not marry or be
given in marriage in the world to come; but those who had
been united on earth for eternity, whether personally or by
proxy, would, in heaven, lead a married life together and fulfil
all the duties and obligations of that position. Carrie believed
firmly, that if I were sealed to my husband for her, she would
be his second wife in heaven; and'the reason why I had
promised to be married for her before my husband was united
to other wives was, that by so doing, she would rank before
all the rest. I, as first wife, would be queen in my husband's
kingdom, if I continued faithful and very obedient: Carrie, as
second wife, would rank next to me; and the others who
might afterwards be added would be placed according to the
date of their marriage. We none of us doubted that all this
was true; and the thought that by her marriage with my husband she would be sure of "exaltation" in the celestial kingdom
had comforted the last hours of my poor friend.
I was musing sadly over these things as I returned home
that evening, resolved that nothing on my part should be left
undone which might ensure her future happiness, and I pre
447 
ALONE AT NIGHT.
sume that in my mind her death, and the promise which I had
made, were the all-absorbing thoughts. Certain it is that a
little incident occurred to me, which produced a vivid impression upon my mind, then and for a long time after. I believed
that I was visited by my departed friend.
Now, I was not naturally superstitious, and I would not, on
any account, have the reader think that I was a believer in the
very extraordinary claims of modern Spiritualism. At the
time of which I speak, I knew absolutely nothing of the
"manifestations" and "communications" received at seances
-I had, in fact, been so isolated, and was so ignorant of the
doings of the world in general, that I had never even heard of
such things. I certainly did not believe that apparitions of
the dead returned to trouble us with communications of any
kind; but, nevertheless, I was that night convinced that
Carrie's spirit stood beside me, and spoke to me, just as in life
she might herself have done. Even now, after the lapse of
several years, I hardly know what to think of the matter, for
it made such a powerful impression on my mind.  Probably
it was all a dream-a vivid and life-like dream, but nothing
more. The reader will remember that at the time I was in a
very delicate condition of health, my mind was quite un'settled
with trouble and anxiety, and for some time past my thoughts
had been constantly fixed upon poor Carrie and her sad fate.
These circumstances combined might perhaps have shaped
my ideas and raised up before me that strange vision. To
me, however, at the time, it had all the force of reality; and
while I leave it to the reader's common-sense to determine
what really were the facts of the case, I think I should not be
justified in altogether omitting an incident so singular, which, at
such a critical period of my life, so strongly affected me.
I was sitting alone in my room, and reading, when suddenly
I felt as if some one had opened the door and entered, and I
looked round to see who it was.  I felt a "Presence," if I
may so speak, but I saw no one. So, thinking that I was
nervous, and resolved to control my feelings, I took up my
book again and tried to interest myself in it. A few minutes
448 
THE "PRESENCE IN MY ROOM.
elapsed, and then I was startled again, for I felt sure that
some one was leaning over me, and I seemed almost to hear
them breathe.
Quite certain now that the events of the preceding day had
unsettled my mind, I laid aside my book and prepared to
retire for the night. But still I could not get rid of that
feeling which we all experience when some one is near us
whom we cannot see but of whose presence we are instinctively aware. After disrobing, I lay down and began to read
until I was sleepy; I then turned down the light, without
entirely extinguishing it, when, immediately after, the "Presence" seemed to stand beside my bed, and I lost all power
over myself. I was not, I believed, asleep, but at the same
time I did not seem to be perfectly awake. But the
"Presence" was now no longer invisible-I plainly saw Carrie
leaning over me.
"Is that you, Carrie?" I said.
"Yes," she answered, or seemed to answer, "i want something from you." Then pointing to a gold ring upon my
finger-not my wedding ring, though it was a wedding ring
-she said: "I want you to give me that ring."
"You shall have it," I answered; and she then bent ov'r
me and kissed my cheek. I distinctly felt the coldness of
her lips as she touched me; and in another instant she was
gone.
I was wide awake, but trembling, and covered with a cold
perspiration, for I felt certain that Carrie's spirit had been
with me, and now that she had spoken to me I felt that
the "Presence" in the room was gone.  I could sleep no
more, although all fear had left me, and I lay awake
for hours thinking over the matter and trying to explain it
away.
In the morning, I persuaded myself that it was all a dream
or the effects of a disturbed imagination; but as I had promised-whether dreaming or awake it mattered little-to give
her the ring, I resolved to keep my word and put it on her
finger secretly as she lay in her coffin. With that intention I
449 
POOR CARRIE'S RING.
went to the house, some time before the funeral was appointed
to take place, but, as there was constantly some one in the
room, I felt ashamed to carry out my purpose, lest they should
think me silly to do such a thing.
As the time approached when they should carry her to the
grave, I became so troubled about the ring that I could not
rest, so I went into another room where one of Brigham
Young's wives, and a plural wife of Carrie's father, were
talking together; and I told them of my dream; for so I
called the vision of my dead friend, although it seemed to
me reality.
They urged me to lose no time but to go instantly and put
the ring on the finger of the corpse. " If you do not," they
said,' You will never feel happy; she will never rest, but
will be sure to come back to reproach you." So I went and
did as they said. Without any one noticing me, I stood beside
the casket, and raised the beautiful hand which looked so pure
and wax-like, but oh, so cold!-and I placed the ring on the
wedding finger, and then covered it with the other hand.
Then again, beside the dead body of my friend, I vowed to be
faithful to the promise that I had made to her; and after that
I felt at peace.                                      w
Not long subsequently to this, my husband returned home.
The following morning he took from his pocket a very beautiful ring which he presented to me, asking me to wear it for
his sake. Directly after, he held up another-a plain gold
ring-and asked me if I knew who that was for. I thought
that I knew, for, as he was soon to be married to Miss Pratt, I
supposed it was for her. My pride, however, would not allow
me to say so. I therefore simply replied that I did not know,
feeling, at the same time, very much inclined to add, "You
had better give this one with it, whoever it is for;" for I
thought it unkind of him to show Belinda's ring to me.
I was silent, however, and he then said:" This one I bought
for Carrie when I received your letter."
"Then I shall have to wear it now," I said; and then I
told him all that I have just related, but I think he con.m
450 
THE TIME APPROACHING.
sidered it was only a dream or the fancy of a troubled imagination.
I now expected very soon to be called upon to undergo the
most painful ordeal that any wife can be required to pass
through: I was to give my husband another wife-such is
the sacrifice demanded of every Mormon woman.
The thought of doing this was worse than death to me. I
felt injured, humiliated and degraded by it, and yet I still tried
to believe that it was the will of God, and must therefore be
right. To me, this outrage upon all the purest feelings of
womanhood seemed more like the will of men-men of the
basest and most unholy passions It was repulsive to me in
whatever form it was presented, but still I reproached my own
rebellious heart for feeling so, for I had been told that the
ways of the Lord were past finding out, and however unlike
Him this Revelation might appear, we Mormon women
had been taught that it was our duty to bend our wills
and to suffer in unquestioning and uncomplaining silence,
As the time approached, I felt like a condemned criminal
awaiting the day of execution. A sense of apprehension, a
dread of coming evil, was ever present to my mind, and evere
thing appeared to me through the medium of my griefs. To a
certain extent, my husband also suffered, for it would be impossible, I think, for any man to see his wife suffering so
intensely without feeling for her, and I sometimes believed
that his sympathy for me was so great, that, if he had dared, he
would even then have refused to obey the counsel of the
Priesthood.
Then, too, he had a little trouble of his own, for he began
to realise that this innovation upon the sanctity of our home
would make a great change in his future-his freedom would
be gone.
However gratifying it may be to a man's feelings to know
that there is no limit to his privileges, and that he is always at
liberty-no matter how many wives he may already possessto fall in love with every pretty girl he meets, and marry her
451 
THAT DAY. -
if she consents; yet every intelligent man must be conscious
that it can be no easy matter to keep peace between many
wives in one house, and that, if he wishes to act rightly by all,
he must train himself to be scrupulously just, never showing
any partiality in look or deed, or even by a word. There are
many such men among the Mormons. They are conscientious and good men, who try to live their religion, but who at
the same time desire to act kindly towards their wives. My
husband began to realise the great responsibility that he was
about to take upon himself, and seeing his thoughtful and
troubled look, I tried to hide my own feelings; for every true
wife knows that nothing so powerfully arouses a woman to
struggle with her own sorrows as the knowledge that her husband is unhappy.
The dreaded day at length arrived, the day which for so
long, and with such painful forebodings, I had anticipated. I
had spent a very wakeful and unhappy night, and felt very
sick and nervous, for I was about to become a mother, and my
health was anything but strong. I hardly felt as if I should
have courage to go through that day. I was, however, compelled to nerve myself to the task, and I began to make my
preparations for going to the Endowment House.'Te only
thing that gave me strength was the thought that my husband
had consented that I should go through the ceremony of being
married to him that day for Carrie; for even then I supposed
that those who would be married in heaven must first be married on earth, and that, too, by those who had received authority from on high.
Ever since I had first embraced Mormonism I had been
entirely cut off from Gentile society, although living in the
Gentile world. Abroad, and also when in New York, the
cares of a family kept me very much at home, and the continual state of apprehension in which I was, rendered me
averse to visiting among friends. Thus it was that I never
conversed freely with any one who could have informed me
truthfully of the origin of Mormonism, and consequently I
brooded over my religion as a melancholy fact; but, though
.452 
MY HUSBAND S SECOND MARRIAGE.
with moments of weakness and wavering, I never thoroughly
doubted its divine origin.  The terrible sacrifice which was
about to be required of me, might, I thought, be painful to
make, but it was no less the will of God. I must submit,
whatever the effort might cost me.
The morning was bright and lovely-a morning calculated
'to inspire happy hopes and pleasant feelings; but to me
it brought nothing but fear and trembling. Even the innocent
prattle of my children annoyed me, and they not knowing how
deeply I was suffering looked at me with wonder in their eyes.
Oh, I thought, surely my husband will at length comprehend
the greatness of the love I bear him; surely he will now appreciate the sacrifice I make for his sake and for my religion.
Even now, if I did not know that he believes this doctrine to be
true, and he would feel condemned if, through any opposition
of mine, he were not allowed to practice i-, I would at the last
moment dash this bitter cup from my lips and take my chance
of the consequences in a future state!
Utterly cast down and broken-hearted, I felt almost as if
the Lord himself had forsaken me, and there was no one to
whom I could look for aid. I could not go to my husband in
that hour for sympathy; for I well knew that his thoughts
must be with his intended bride, and that my sorrows would
only trouble him at a time when he must desire to be at peace.
Besides which, I was too proud to plead for love at a shrine
that I felt should rightfully be all my own. And then, too,
I knew not but what he might tell her of my feelings; and it
would be too great a humiliation for me should she think me
jealous of the position which she now occupied, and her influence over my husband.
With such feelings I went to the Endowment House.
There at the altar I was to give proof of my obedience and of
my faith in my religion, by placing the hand of the new wife
in that of my. husband. The thought was almost madness.
To have followed my husband to the grave would have been
a       terrible blow to me; but to live to see him the husband of
another  woman was something that seemed to me beyond en              28
453 
"FOR ALL ETERNITY."
durance.   Notwithstanding  every effort of faith, doubts
would arise, and in bitterest anguish I thought-this is more
like the work of cruel man than of God. Why should man
have this power over woman, and she so helpless? Surely a
just and impartial God can have nothing to do with this!
There was a darkness before my eyes, and struggle as I might,
I could see no ray of light. No glimmering of hope.
First, my husband was married to Miss Pratt; and then to
me for Carrie. Thus I fulfilled my pledge to my departed
friend. Later in the day, I placed the ring which my husband
had bought for her upon my finger, instead of the one which I
had put on her wedding-finger in the coffin. I shall always
wear it in remembrance of her, although among the Mormons
at that time wedding-rings were never thought of, and to this
day are only used by the more educated and refined who cling
to Gentile customs. I had found before going to the Endowment House that I could not have Carrie sealed to my husband next to me, for Belinda had objected, and her mother'
had appealed to Brigham Young about it. They told me that
he had said that the living had claims before the dead, although
my own feelings would have led me to think otherwise. Brigham Young performed the ceremony. He sat at tlfe end of
the altar and we three knelt down-my husband on one side
and Miss Pratt and myself on the other. Speaking to me,
Brigham Young asked: "Are you willing to give this woman
to your husband to be his lawful wife for time and for all
eternity? If you are you will signify it by placing her right
hand within the right hand of your husband."
I did so; but what words can describe my feelings!  The
anguish of a whole lifetime was crowded into that one single
moment.  The painful meaning of those words, "for all
eternity" withered my soul, and the unending contract which
my husband had made with another woman was practically a
divorce from me. I had now laid everything upon the altar
of sacrifice, for I had given away my husband.  What more
could the Lord require of me that I was not prepared to do?
I was bewildered and almost beside myself, and yet I had
454 
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I
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#i 
AFTER THE MARRIAGE:-HOME.
to hide my feelings. Hope was for ever banished from my
life. To whom could I look for sympathy among those who
were around me? They were most of them men who had
ruthlessly wrecked the lives and lacerated the hearts of hundreds of women before my turn came, and the sight of an
unhappy wife was so common in their experience that it was
more likely to awaken their anger than their pity. I felt this
instinctively, and I resolved that they should never know how
much my poor heart was torn. My husband, it is true, was
there.  My husband!  Was he not now the husband of another woman, and, therefore, no longer belonging to me. I
knew that I never could overcome my early teaching sufficiently to feel that this was right, though, such was mywretched
fanaticism, that I mentally and verbally assented to it. I felt
that now I stood alone-our union was severed. There could
never be any copartnership between that other wife and myself-no, never.  Salvation or no salvation, it was impossible
that I could ever love her. From that day I began to hide all
my sorrows from my husband, and it was but very seldom that
I uttered a word of discontent, and when I expressed what I
felt, it was in anger; but never in sorrow, seeking sympathy.
I remember when we returned home-that home which had
now lost its charm, for the young wife was to live there-my
husband said to me: "You have been very brave, but it is not
so hard to bear, after all, is it?" I had hidden my feelings so
well that he really thought that I was indifferent. But during
the remainder of the day how I watched their looks and noticed
every word! To me their tender tones were daggers, piercing
my heart and filling me with a desire to revenge myself upon
the father of my children. Oh, what fanatics we Mormon
women have been ever to have believed for a single moment
that a just and loving Father and God would have given a
command that in almost every instance has produced such
fearful results upon those who should have been happy wives
and mothers, and consequently upon their children. Indeed,
even then it made me feel that there was no justice in heaven,
if this love which is the best part of woman's nature-this
457 
THAT NIGHT.
love that we had always believed was a part of divinity itself
-this principle, without which there would be nothing worth
living for-if this had been made our greatest curse, and the
woman who showed herself most actuated by this gentle influence was to be the greatest victim.
I felt that day that if I could not get away by myself alone,
and give expression to my overcharged feelings, I should certainly lose my reason. I was utterly miserable. It was only
in the dead of night, in my own chamber, that I gave way to
the terrible anguish that was consuming me. God and my
own soul can alone bear witness to what I suffered in that
time of woe. That night was to me such as even the most
God-forsaken might pray never to know; and morning dawned
without my having for a moment closed my eyes.
* 6
458 
CHAPTER XXXIII.
DOMESTIC ARRANGEMENTS OF THE SAINTS:-POLYGAMY
FROM A WOMAN'S STANDPOINT. 
A First Wife's Experience in Polygamy-"Getting Used to it"-The Doings
and Devices of Polygamic Wives-How Mormon Men Deceive and are De ceived-Feminine Drill-Sergeants-The Ladies who advocate Polygamy!-A
Present for Brother Brigham-Getting up a Petition-How Signatures are
Procured-Inscribing the Names of the Dead as Voters-Cruel efforts of
Hopeless Women-A Mormon idea of a Husband's Duty-The Domestic
Arrangements of the Saints-A Man with Six Wives-How he Divides his
Time-A Crafty Proceeding-The Reward of Generosity-Primitive Habita tions-Polygamy in the Rough-The Discarded Wife in the Wagon-Box "Build up the Kingdom! "-Four Wives and their Children in One Room Advantages of a Large House-Wealthy. Polygamists-Married to Two Sisw
ters-Marrying a Step-Daughter-Managing a Husband-The Influence of
Good Cookery-Wives in Various Settlements-The Case Reversed: A
icture.
I WAS now to realise personally in my own home life what
Polygamy actually was.  Hitherto I had observed how
other women suffered and how other men treated their wives;
but now the painful reality had come to my own door, and I was
to experience the effects of the system upon myself, and instead of noting the conduct of other men I should be able to
observe the change which Polygamy might work in my own
husband.
How little do the Mormon men know what it is in the truest
sense to have a wife, though they have so many "wives" after
their own fashion. Almost imperceptibly to the husband, and
even to the wife herself, a barrier rises between them from the 
DIVIDED INTERESTS.
very day that he marries another woman. It matters not how
much she believes in the doctrine of plural marriage, or how
willing she may be to submit. to it; the fact remains the same.
The estrangement begins by her trying to hide from him all
her secret sorrows; for she feels that what has been done cannot be undone now, and she says, "I cannot change it; neither
would I if I could, because it is the will of God, and I must
bear it; besides, what good will it do to worry my husband
with all my feelings?  He cannot help me; and is he not another woman's husband?" Then comes, perhaps, the painful
thought,'' I have no longer any desire to confide in him." Or
it may be that she detects some familiarity between her husband and the other wife; and she feels bitterly towards both,
for strive as she may, human nature cannot be altogether
crushed out.
Before long the wife begins to feel her husband's presence
itself become irksome to her-even his touch makes her shudder. She strives to hide all this; but, oh, with what anguish of
soul! She may keep up an appearance of tranquility, and
when spoken to about plural marriage may lead people to
believe that she is happy, and even her own husband may
think that she has become "used to it;" but women never
" get used to it" until they have in a great measure, or perhaps
entirely, lpst their love for their husbands. 
This was a mistake that my own husband made in respect to
me. He realised, I know-as much as the generality of men
ever can realise of a woman's feelings-that I was suffering
intensely, and he tried in every way to make my burden
lighter. But, like his brethren, he thought that, because he
was getting used to it, I was also. I can truly say I never did
get used to it, and never could.
That was a time of great misery to me, much as I tried to
control my feelings. Day by day I strove to hide from my
heart even the knowledge of my own unhappiness, and when
I could no longer endure, I would lock myself in my room and
give vent to the anguish that was consuming me. I realised,
however, that this continual conflict of feeling was unfitting
460
I 
EFFECTS OF POLYGAMY.
me for my duties. Everything was becoming a trial to me. I
could not bear to be spoken to; the prattle of my children
that had always been so dear to me, was now discordant to my
feelings; and all their little questionings were irksome. I determined that this should no longer be the case; I would battle with my own heart; I would henceforth devote my whole
life-worthless as that life appeared to have become-to the
welfare of my little ones. This was a conclusion that hundreds of wretched Mormon wives have arrived at, and when
this is the case there is some hope for them. But, many give
way to despair, and go down broken-hearted to their graves.
How much of true affection do the Mormon husbands lose!
A man may have a dozen wives; but from them all combined
he will not receive as much real love and devotion as he would
from one alone, if he made her feel that she had his undivided
affection and confidence. How terribly these men deceive
themselves! When peace, or rather quiet, reigns in their
homes, they think that the Spirit of God is there. But it is
not so. It is a calm not like the gentle silence of sleep, but
as the painful stillness of death-the death of the heart's best
affection and all that is worth calling love. All truite love has
fled, and indifference has taken its place.  The very children
feel it. What do they, what can they, care about their father,
whom they so seldom see? Of course, as in everything else,
there are exceptions to the rule; but I am speaking now of
Polygamists in general.
Some wives, afraid of creating a prejudice against themselves
and of being forsaken altogether, deceive their husbands, and
make them believe that they are satisfied. It must be admitted that, in acting thus, these wives are not always actuated
by a fear of losing the society or love of their husbands, for,
in Polygamy, love dies a natural death; but it is galling to a
woman's pride to have it said that she has been cast off for
another.  Then, too-and some women would consider this
the most important reason of all-the best provision is
usually made for the home where the husband stops most frequently; and the wife, if not for her own sake, at least for her
46I 
THE -"FEMALE RELIEF SOCIETY."
children's, will be anxious to have a well-provided house.
This is only natural.  The "divine" plan has always been
worked out in a very human way.
When a man has several wives, there is, of course, no
necessity for him to stay with an unhappy or mopish one, as
he can always find a more pleasant reception elsewhere. Men
who can really believe that women are satisfied and happy
under such a system must be entirely ignorant of human
nature. And yet I have known many gentlemen from Utah
who, when asked how the Mormon women submitted to Polygamy, have answered: "Oh, very well. They are perfectly
happy, for they look upon it as a religious duty, and are satisfied
and contented with it."
How false is all this! What an incorrect idea does it give
of the wives of Utah! Some of these very men, to my certain knowledge, know better than this, and have had a very
different experience in their own families. I have in my mind
a prominent man from Salt Lake City, who told a reporter of
the New York Herald how happily his own wives lived
together, while every one at home knows that they could not
well be more miserable, for his wives do not wear the mask.
I'could name many other families in which it is just thesame.
There is a class of women in Utah who act as a sort of
drill-sergeants to the other women; these form what is called
"The Female Relief Society;" they take the lead among the
Mormon women, get up memorials to Congress against antiPolygamic bills, and otherwise spend their time in advancing
the interests of the "Celestial Order."  To the good brethren
these ladies are invaluable helpers when they desire to add to
the number of their wives; and going from house to house to
gather contributions for the Society, they have ample opportunities for discovering the feelings of those who are rebellious,
and giving a great deal of "counsel" which frequently produces
very painful results. The members of this Relief Societyeven the poorest-are, without exception, expected to contribute to its funds -if it be only a skein of yarn or a spool of
thread. They make their visits fortnightly, and gather in
462 
A PRESENT FOR BROTHER BRIGHAM.
contributions with such success that in more than one ward
they have been able to build a fine store, have filled it with
goods, and have had a surplus in hand, which was duly handed
over as a present to Brother Brigham. Brother Brigham is
always ready and willing to receive gifts, whether large or
small. There was an instance of this which fell under my
own observation, and which, though I was still in the Church,
annoyed me very greatly. An old lady applied to me for sewing, and, as I was in need of some one, I employed her. She
suffered a good deal from asthma, and finally became sc bad
that it was with the greatest difficulty that she could even
walk.  She told me frequently that a cup of tea was "suck a
comfort to her;" but she would not allow herself that luxury,
as she was resolved to put by all that it might have cost her
for tea, and sugar, and other little luxuries, and make a present
of the money to Brother Brigham. I learned subsequently
that she did save up as much as $20, which, in the presence
of witnesses, she presented to the Prophet-and he actually
took it! I was told that in a sermon delivered at Ogden, a
short time after, he gave the poor woman great credit for having performed a good deed, and recommended others to go
and do likewise! 
It is difficult to discover how the poor are benefited by the
Relief Society, and yet it was ostensibly for their welfare and
assistance that the Society was called into existence. I know
of many instances where poor persons have applied for help,
which has either been refused them, or else has been offered
in such a way that it could not be accepted.
It must not be supposed that all the Mormon women who
belong to the Relief Society are as great admirers of Brother
Brigham as the ancient dame of whom I have just spoken.
Some belong to it because they cannot help themselves.  On_
of these very sisters once told me that when they got up the
ladies' petition to Mrs. Grant, praying her to use her influence
with the President in favor of Mormon husbands practicing
Polygamy, they did not give themselves the trouble to call
upon all the ladies who belonged to the Society, but took their
463 
THE SIGNATURE OF THE DEAD.
names from the books, without even obtaining permission first.,,
Another lady told me that when they came to her house to get
the signature of herself and daughters, they asked her if she
had any dead daughters, as, if she had, it was just as proper to
sign for them as for the living, for they would be certain to
believe in Polygamy now they were in heaven, whatever might
have been their condition on earth. This is the way in which
elections are conducted, and memorials and petitions are got
up in Utah.
Moreover, it must not be imagined that those who are most
zealous in signing.pet-tions and forcing them upon their sisters,
are necessarily the greatest relievers in the "Celestial Order."
No; in not a few of these women are seen some of the worst
effects of the.system. One of these very ladies told me that
she had "seen enough of old Brigham and Polygamy in this
world, she hoped she would never set eyes on him in the
next." And yet this lady was very highly spoken of for her
zeal in getting up the petition in favor of Polygamy. These
are the women who, finding their own happiness wrecked, are
not satisfied until they have dragged every other woman they
meet with into the same snare. They appear to have no
mercy upon their own sex, and when persuasive wordg fail to
soften the "rebellious" wife they will repeat to her that portion
of the "Revelation" which says that the wife who refuses
consent shall be destroyed; and thus they work upon her fears
and her devotion to her religion. It is painful to see women
so hopeless themselves that they find a satisfaction in making
others equally miserable.
An utter disregard to the feelings or happiness of individuals is one of the distinguishing features of Mormonism.
Polygamy hardens the hearts of both men and women towards
those whom they should love most tenderly; what wonder.
then that the less sacred ties of friendship and common
humanity should be disregarded?  "Do I not furnish you with
breadstuffs?" the wealthy Bishop or Apostle has often said to
a neglected wife, "what more do you want?"  She had perhaps complained of neglect, but his coarse nature could not
464, 
DOMESTIC ARRANGEMENTS IN POLYGAMY.
comprehend that her soul craved its daily food as much as her
body-that a true-hearted wife needs the love and companionship of her husband; and that she ought to feel that he is
living for her and for her children, just as faithfully as she is
living for him.
Any idea of mutual obligation between husbands and wives
has, I believe, never entered the mind of Brigham Young and
the leaders who most nearly imitate him. He himself has
forsaken wife after wife, giving them no love, no companion
ship; nay, scarcely even a thought. They have gone out of
his life as completely as if they had never possessed the
slightest interest in his eyes. He has, however, continued to
give them "breadstuffs," clothing and shelter, which he could
so well afford; but it was for appearance sake, and certainly
not for love.
When a man has more than one wife, his affections must of
necessity be divided; he really has no home in the truest sense
of the word; his houses are simply boarding-places. Should
he have all his wives in one house, as is often the case, they
are then all slaves to the system, each one is watching the
others-and they know it-trying to discover something that
can be secretly told to the husband to draw away his affections
from the rest.   What  more miserable position  could  be
imagined?.
There is, however, no fixed principle regulating Mormon
men in the management of their families-every one is at liberty to do as he thinks best, and scarcely two families are
governed alike. When Salt Lake City was first settled, the
people had to live as best they could, and a man was glad to
get even one roof under which he and all his wives might be
sheltered. Now, when the husband is wealthy he generally
provides separate homes for his wives. Some wealthy men,
however, still have all their wives and families together.
I have in my mind, as I write, a very prominent Mormon,
who has half a dozen wives; and he divides his time among
them after this fashion. The first week he stays with the first
wife; the next week he is with the second; then he goes back
465 
THE WIFE IN THE WAGON-BOX.
to the first. The fourth week he passes with the third wife;
then he returns for another week to the first. And thus he
continues to give one week to the first wife, and the next to
one of the other five in turn, until he has blessed them all
with his presence. Now, it would at a casual glance appear
that this first wife has by far the largest share of her hus band's society; but if the truth must be told, it must be
admitted that the husband is not quite so generous as he
appears. The last wife of this good man is a young and pretty
girl, and she lives with the first wife, and thus his devotion to
the latter is rewarded by the presence of the former. Each
of the other wives has one week of his society and attentions
in every eleven   about five weeks apiece of companionship
with their husband in the course of a whole year. Other men
with the same number of wives pass constantly between one
house and another; they can never be found when wanted;
their lives are one eternal round, and they may be said to have
no real abiding place.
In every settlement in Utah, long, low-roofed houses may
be seen with a row of doors and windows alternating. Even
in Salt Lake City, much as it has changed of late years, such
houses may still be found. To every door and window there
is, of course, a wife; and the furniture of her room consists
of a bed, three chairs, and a table. Then, if the man is a very
devout Mormon and wishes to increase his kingdom by adding
another wife to the inhabitants of the long many-doored house,
a wagon-box is so arranged as to form a sleeping apartment
for the new comer; or, what is more likely, one of the old
wives is put into the wagon-box, and the new one takes her
place.
A house with two wings is rather a favorite style with those
men, who, to silence their conscience and the priesthood, conclide to take "just one extra wife," and no more. The wives,
with their children, occupy, respectively, each a wing; and the
entrance-door opens into a parlor, which serves as a reception-room for both families. The husband in this case spends
a week on one side of the house and a week on the other,
466 
BUILDING UP THE "KINGDOM."
alternately; and thus, by an impartial division of his attentions,
he preserves peace in his family. A man who is comfortably
off can, of course, arrange his domestic affairs so as to avoid,
as far as is possible, the inconveniences of the system, but a
poor man is forced to submit to circumstances. Many men
have entered into Polygamy, with two, three, and even four
wives, all, with their children, living together under one roof
-in one room-in  the  most  disgraceful  and  barbarous
manner; but even for this the leaders were really more to
blame than the poor deluded men themselves; for the command to "Build up the Kingdom!-build up the Kingdom!"
-in other words, take many wives and raise up large families
-has been  so constantly and  imperatively insisted upon
that good sense and propriety have at last been entirely
overlooked.
In a very large house, with many wives, there is greater
safety and peace for the husband than in a small house with
only two wives. When there are only two apartments, the
husband, if not in one is supposed to be in the other, and the
neglected wife frequently expresses her opinion of her rival in
the opposite room in very powerful language. Scenes may be
witnessed in such households which are too shocking to disclose.  Brigham Young was conscious of this when he said
he "would stand no more  fighting and scratching around
him"; and yet, in the face of all this, he dares to tell the people
that this is the "Order of Celestial Marriage." With many
wives living together in a large house there are many advantages. The whereabouts of the husband is not so easily discovered, and the unhappy or jealous wife is at a loss to know
upon whom to vent her ire. On this account even men with
small means prefer to have three wives instead of two, as each
wife, not knowing which of the other two she ought to hate
the most, divides her jealousy. It takes, however, a wise man
to know how to live in Polygamy, so as to balance all the conflicting interests and obtain a little peace, if happiness is out
of the question.
Where thle husband is a rich man and has abundant wealth
467 
HORRORS OF THE SYSTEM.
wherewith to supply the wants of his numerous wives and
children, and to furnish all the necessary accommodation that
a growing family demands, much of the jealousy and ill-feeling inseparable from Polygamy can, to a certain extent, be
avoided. But when poor men, as I myself have witnessed,
live with several wives and a whole army of children, huddled together in a miserable room or two, it is painful and
inconvenient in the extreme. And yet such is frequently the
case. I know one man, otherwise very respectable, who lives
with three wives and eleven children in two wretched rooms
no better than a stable, and they think that in this they are
pleasing God.
Some men have entered into Polygamy so poor and unprovided for that their dwelling consisted of just one sitting room
and one sleeping apartment, for the two wives together with
the husband; and it is quite a common thing to see two or
even three wives living together in one very small house. A
family was pointed out to me, which consisted of two wives,
one son about sixteen years of age, a daughter of fifteen, and
numerous other younger children; and all lived together in
two small rooms and a shed.
It would be quite impossible, with any regard to prdtriety,
to relate all the horrible results of this disgraceful system. It
has debased the minds, and degraded the lives, of good and
honest men and women, while those who naturally had a tendency towards evil have become a hundred times worse. Marriages have been contracted between the nearest relatives;
and old men tottering on the brink of the grave have been
united to little girls scarcely in their teens; while unnatural
alliances of every description, which in any other community
would be regarded with disgust and abhorrence, are here
.ntered into in the name of God, and under the sanction
of a "Revelation" supposed to proceed from the pure and
holy Saviour.
I was much shocked and disgusted when first I went to
Utah, to find a man whom under other circumstances I had
known in London, living with two sisters whom he had mar
468 
MARRYING A WIDOW AND HER DAUGHTER!
ried in the manner I have just described, and, strange as it
may appear, it was not with them a matter of necessity. When
I knew the husband in Europe, I considered him a man of
education and refinement, but I certainly was mistaken, for no
man whose nature was at all sensitive would have lived as he
did. His wives, too, who had been considered highly respectable English girls, were not ashamed of their degraded position-they professed to believe in bringing the world back to
its primitive purity and innocence.
It is quite a common thing in Utah for a man to marry two
and even three sisters. I was well acquainted with one man
who married his half-sister; and I know several who have
married mother and daughter. I know also another man who
married a widow with several children; and when one of the
girls had grown into her teens he insisted on marrying her
also, having first by some means won her affections. The
mother, however, was much opposed to this marriage, and
finally gave up her husband entirely to her daughter; and to
this very day the daughter bears children to her step-father,
living as wife in the same house with her mother!
In another instance, a well-known man in Salt Lake City,
who has several wives and married daughters, married a youffg
girl of fifteen years of age whom his wife had adopted and
brought up as her own.
Men who do such things as these have no excuse in their
religion. It is pretended that the Mormon Prophet received a
Revelation sanctioning Polygamy, but no one ever supposed
that it was therefore necessary for persons so near akin in
blood to marry; when such disgraceful alliances have taken
place they have been the result of the brutal passions of men,
and cannot be charged directly to their religion, Their religion is to blame for debasing their minds and destroying in
them those pure feelings which would have rebelled against
these shameful marriages; but their religion only enjoined
them to marry many wives; it never taught them to select
those wives from their own households.
The women, in Polygamy, as might be expected, have all 
" SEE HOW I MANAGE MY WOMEN!
along had to bear the heaviest part of the burden.  It is pain ful to see how some of them will strive to maintain a hold
upon their husband's affections. They may, perhaps, feel bit terly their lonely and neglected position, and they may detest
the system, but they try, nevertheless, to make their homes as
pleasant and attractive as possible. Some do this for ome
reason, some for another; but in most instances the chief
motive is a desire to draw away the husband from the other
wives;-not that they particularly wish for his company or his
love, but they like to show their power over him.   I know
some of these Mormon men whose wives "manage" them in
this way. They think not a little of themselves, and believe
that they are indeed the lords of creation, and Can have everything their own way; while, all the time, they are perfect
objects of ridicule to every one who knows them, on account
of the way they are "managed" by their wives.  Such men
fancy that they govern absolutely in their households, and with
head erect they will boastfully say to their neighbors, "See
how I manage my women "-little thinking that it is the
women who are "managing" them.
Other good women make their homes pleasant from a sincere desire that their husbands should be happy, and will
study the most rigid economy while living alone, so as to save
out of their frequently poor allowance sufficient to entertain
the husband well when it comes to their turn to receive a visit
from him. Many a woman has thus earned the flattering
opinion of her husband for economy, and it has very materially
strengthened her influence over him. I knew a lady, who by
a little management of this sort so pleased her spouse that he
placed her at the head of his household, and the other wives
had to go to her for everything. This was all the glory she
had ever dreamed of or desired.
Women of years and experience act thus; but young and
thoughtless wives frequently try an opposite experiment, and
when their husbands come to see them they are always poor,
always needy-they never have enough of anything. This
attempt to excite sympathy is seldom or never so successful as
47o 
AFFECTION AND GOOD COOKERY.
the other plan.  The pleasant home and smiling welcome are
more attractive to the Mormon husband than the complaints
of a dissatisfied wife. Many a good Saint, although, of course,
he would scorn to acknowledge it, is well known to make his
principal home with the wife who is the best cook, notwith standing that affection may not run in the same direction; but
'when the wife who sets the best table is also the wife best
beloved, the husband is a happy man indeed.
Quite a number of the leading Mormons have wives in the
various settlements; and this is very convenient to them if
they have to travel much. If the wives are old and experienced, as wives who are sent into the country generally are,
they can then look after and manage a farm; and if they have
growing boys, the farm can be worked upon a very economical
plan. The younger wives in the city can be supplied from them
with all the butter, cheese, vegetables, &c., that they require.
It takes considerable shrewdness to manage women in such a
way as to turn all their abilities to good account and to make
them profitable. American men, I have always found, were
most successful in this experiment; the English, as a general
rule, are not smart enough, though I have known instances
where smart Englishmen with several wives have so arranged
as to live entirely without working themselves.  They managed matters to perfection; getting all the labor that was possible out of those unhappy women, and in return breaking
their hearts with unkindness and neglect.
Mormon men say, "Do not the Gentiles do just as bad?"
No; they do not! There are bad men everywhere, and, as
every one knows, there are among the Gentiles men whose
cruelty to their wives could not be surpassed. But those men
do not attempt to hide their sins under the mantle of religion;
they do not crucify their wives in the name of God.  Bad
men among the Gentiles support a woman-whether wife or
not-so long as they care anything about her; and do the
Mormon men do anything more?  Hundreds  of discarded
wives in Utah could bear me witness that when they grew
old, or their husbands grew tired of them, they cast them off
29
471 
A PICTURE.
quite as ruthlessly and with as little compunction as any
unprincipled Gentile man ever discarded a mistress who no
longer had any place in his affections. In one respect certainly the Mormon men bear off the palm for cruelty; for
they add insult to injury. The sins of wicked Gentiles are
hidden from their wives; but the Mormon men flaunt their
sins in their wives' faces, and in the faces of their grown-up
sons and daughters, and style their iniquity "The Celestial
Order of Heaven!"
Let me ask the good brethren who read this, to act for
once impartially, and try to put themselves  in a woman's
place; and let me for their benefit draw a little picture for
them to contemplate.
It is evening, and the family are all assembled in their
pleasant home-a home made happy by the kind and thoughtful care of a loving father. Peace and tranquility dwell in
every heart, and the father is happy in being surrounded by
his children, to whom he is fondly attached.. He listens to
the prattle of the little ones, or the music and songs of the
elder children; and for a time he is forgetful of everything
save the happiness of the hour.
Suddenly his wife-the mother of his children-whom he
dearly loves, rises from her seat Beside the fire and retires to
her own apartment. There she arranges her toilet with irreproachable care, sees that every straying curl is in its place,
and gives every touch to her appearance which she thinks is
likely to render her attractive in the eyes of a man. She now
descends the stairs, ready to leave the home of this, her first
husband, for she is going to see her second husband, or some
young man to whom she has taken a fancy, and who she
thinks would be suitable for a third. She kisses her children
good-bye, and is about to take an affectionate farewell of their
father when she suddenly discovers that he is not looking
happy.  "What is the matter now?" she says; "Is not your
home a pleasant one; have I not taken pains to train your
children in a proper manner; and have I not remained an
hour longer than usual with you? What folly it is for you to
472 
I                         111111  I         I                                I'
PUTTING HIMSLL IN HIR PLACL 
4
All 
THE CASE REVERSED.
be moping in this way: this is not the way to live our religion, if we expect to get the blessing of God. You know
very well it is very painful for me to leave you and my
children; but we must be obedient to the commands of God,
and I owe attentions to my other husband as well as to
you!"
Can any man be supposed who would for a moment endure
such an outrage upon decency and common-sense-such a
violation of all that is sacred in the human heart? And yet
this is only reversing the case; and just as any Mormon man
can suppose he would feel, if the wife he loved were to act in
the way I have described, so do Mormon wives feel-only as
much more acutely, as women are more sensitive in their
affections than men. I remember painfully the bitterness of
soul which I experienced when there was only one wife
besides myself; and thousands of women in Utah could bear
witness, if they would, to the hopeless misery which the
system causes, and the desolate void which it creates in the
heart of every thoughtful and affectionate wife.
475
4w 
CHAPTER XXXIV.
LIGHTS AND SHADOWS OF POLYGAMY:-MARRIAGE AND
BAPTISM FOR THE DEAD.
Domestic Difficulties-Husband and Lover-How Brother Brigham Treats His
Wives-Polygamy in Poverty- Obedience the Crowning  Virtue  I-How
Women Feel and Act in Polygamy-A First Wife's Trials-The Young
Second Wife-Home  Life in Polygamy-The  Husband Displays His
"Jewels "-Our Worldly Prosperity-The  First Daily Paper in Utah Whisperings of Murder-Not in the Confidence of "The Church"-Brig ham's Inconsistencies-Mr. Stenhouse Refuses a Contract-Hlw Brother
Brigham "Jumps at an Offer "-How He Makes His Money-I Remind My
Husband of Certain Things-Another Visit from My Talkative Friend Baptism for the Dead-Baptized for Queen Anne-A Strange Description of
Paradise-Napoleon and Washington Mormon Elders-Queen Elizabeth
Enters into Polygamy-Becoming Proxy for Henry VIII.-The Wife of the
Thief on the Cross-Waiting for Queen Fanny!
MY life was now one continued series of deceptions, as
was also that of my husband, and we began habitually
to wear the mask when in each other's presence. It cannot
be otherwise in Polygamy. To avoid wounding the feelings
of the first wife, the husband, if he cares for her, affects an
indifference for the second wife which he does not really feel;
and the first wife is not deceived by it, for she knows he is
only acting a part, and that as soon as her eyes are off him
he will be transformed into the most ardent lover.
If affectionate before and demonstrative in his love towards 
SECRET SORROWS.
his wife and -children, he has to suppress it all now, lest h-e
should arouse jealousy in the heart of the other wife and be
thought partial.   He can never now manifest a husband's or
a father's love; hence his own nature becomes cramped, and
the affections of his heart are dwarfed.  His childrcn grow up
ignorant of what he really is, and, although he is living in the
same house with them, it might truthfully be said that they
do not know what it is to have a father.  Consequently, their
love for him is very limited; they know nothing of those
spontaneous effusions of tenderness which link the heart of
the child to its parent; and themselves, in their own experience, ignorant of that domestic happiness which in childhood
is the charm of home, and, in fact, never knowing what a
home should be, when they, in their turn, marry and have
children of their own, they set up another of those cold and
soulless homes with which Polygamy is cursed.
But let me lift the curtain and give an illustration from
the family of Brigham Young himself. In that family I have
seen the practical working of the plural-wife system exemplified under its most favorable aspect. I have conversed with
Brigham's wives as a sister in the same faith, and I know how
they feel; but I am compelled to confess that, notwithstanding all the order and system which characterise the Prophet's
household, and the fact that his wives are, on account of his
great wealth, free from the troubles and inconveniences
entailed by Polygamy in poverty, and although they are,
taken collectively, as amiable and good women as any in
Utah-their lives are unhappy and they themselves are
miserable.  They have never known the meaning of domestic
happiness, and though to the casual observer they may
appear contented with their lot, secretly they mourn over the
constant struggle in their hearts between the system and
their own womanly nature. Even the most favored of them
lead cold, mechanical lives; joy and affection they have never
known. Many of them have been cast off for years, and all
are neglected except the favorite of the hour.
The Mormon leaders teach that a woman's exaltation in 
HOW BRIGHAM TREATS HIS WIVES.
heaven depends upon the number of her children, and yet
Brigham has wives who might be mothers of large families,
but whom he has neglected for years. They are called the
wives of Brigham Young, and they live under the same roof
with him; but they have no real husband, and their children
no father in the dear sense of that word as ordinary Christians understand it. They know nothing of the sweet familiarity, the loving interchange of thought and feeling which
belongs to true married life. Once a day they are honored
by the presence of their lord and master at their table; aRd
this privilege is, of course, only enjoyed by those who live in
the same house with him,-those who live in other houses
very seldom see him more frequently than once in two or
three months. They bask in the sunshine of his presence for
about half an hour in the evening when the family assembles
in the Lion House for prayer. But in the theatre, the Tabernacle, and the ball-room, the majority of them only see and
worship him at a distance. They are but pensioners upon
his bounty; all their individuality is destroyed, and they are
completely lost in him. They have no position in societyhe is the only person ever seen or talked 6f. People in Salt
Lake City neither know nor care any more about Mrs. Young
the first or the nineteenth than they do about the wives of
any other Saint. In their home life they have to bear all the
bitterness and heartburnings which, patient, pious women as
they are, the silly and licentious favoritism of their "husband"
for the last new wife, whoever she may be, always produces.
I think that no man in Utah so recklessly wounds the feelings
of his wives in this respect, or acts as if he thought it was a
woman's duty to crush every feeling and bring herself to
submit without a question to her' husband's will, as does
Brigham Young. And yet his wives, whose withered and
blighted existence is a reproach to humanity, are very good
specimens of what the Celestial Order of Matrimony can
produce. What, under less favorable conditions, Polygamy is,
I leave the reader to imagine.
Let us look at the family life in some of the country
478 
THE "PRIVILEGE" OF POLYGAMY!
settlements where the husband-without any order or system
in his nature, and without the means or even the idea of
providing for the comfort of his family-is seeking in his
coarse way to imitate Brother Brigham and to work out his
own idea of Celestial Marriage. There we shall find the same
repression of all womanly feoling, the absence of any sanctifying or refining influence, while at the same time the hard
lot of the wives is unrelieved by even the solitary recreations
and the personal comforts of Brigham Young's wives.  This
is the condition of many a poor, weary wife in Utah.
These are the women who Brigham Young has said should
be "damned" if they murmured or rebelled.  What hope is
there for them or for their children? Between the two extremes-Polygamy as it exists in the Prophet's household, and
as it is in the homes of poor Mormons in the Settlementsthe celestial order of marriage can be found under all conceivable circumstances of poverty and wealth, ignorance and culture. It had been told us frequently and emphatically that
the "privilege" of Polygamy was reserved for those who had
demonstrated their purity by a life of goodness; and the idea
that it was denied to the wicked and licentious was very reassuring to the minds of many.  But we soon discovered thlt
if only a man was obedient to the Priesthood, his moral character had little or nothing to do with his obtaining more wives.
Assassins and inebriates like Porter Rockwell, and even
murderers like Bill Hickman and John D. Lee, and other
wretches, had as many wives, and even more, than some of the
best men in the community. It is, I believe, true that John
D. Lee had several wives sealed to him after it was known that
he had taken such an atrocious part in the Mountain Meadows'
Massacre.
It is a fact that Polygamy among the Mormons has been
entered into by people of every kind, under all circumstances,
and from every conceivable motive-from the basest to the
purest. But its effect has invariably been to develope the
weaker side of human nature. At the same time, like other
institutions which for religious purposes have suppressed true
479 
:THE MOTIVES OF MORMON WOMEN.
manly and womanly instincts, it has in exceptional cases produced much that was noble and generous.  Many faithful first
wives, seeing in the practice of the celestial order the prospective glory of their husbands, have borne the heavy burden of
life patiently and uncomplainingly, and even, while daily suffering that which was worse than death, have sought to be kind
and loving to those very women, who under a false belief have
invaded the sanctuary of their rights and stolen from them
that which they held most dear. While I know of very many
polygamic wives who have sacrificed themselves continually,
receiving the most meagre show of love and attention, hoping
and striving to harmonise matters; on the other hand I could
tell of many first wives who have urged their husbands into
Polygamy, merely that the plural wives might become the
household drudges while they themselves took their ease and
pleasure.  Then, again, there are polygamic wives who have
taken the power into their own hands, grasping every comfort
and monopolising every attention, while the first wife pined
away unnoticed and crushed with domestic cares.  With men,
too, there was the same variety. Some have delayed entering
into Polygamy for years, and then they have taken every precaution to avoid giving pain to their first wives; whileothers,
on the contrary, have been perfectly indifferent as to what
pain they caused their wives, relentlessly trampling under their
feet every sentiment of delicacy and affection.
In my own case, my husband did all he could to spare my
feelings as much as possible; but it was, nevertheless, a hard
task for me to subdue.my own heart, and I found that all that
I had anticipated in imagination was nothing compared with
the realisation. Feelings of degradation, disgust, and humiliation filled my heart constantly and without ceasing. From the
day of my husband's second marriage, I could never look upon
him with pleasure-he was no longer many husband, and I now
felt no desire to confide in him. Even the very sight of him
filled my rebellious soul with the bitterest feelings, although, at
the same time, I knew and felt that he tried in every way to
smooth my rugged pathway.
:480 
THE SECOND WIFE.
Strange as it may at first appear, had it been otherwise my
burden would have been lighter, for, if he had treated me with
cruelty and neglect, I should have withdrawn all affection from
him and would have cast him out of my heart for ever. It is a
painful thing for a wife to think thus of the father of her
children.
It may have been wrong, perhaps, but I confess that for my
husband's intended bride I felt such a detestation that I could
not endure her presence, although I knew that she was not to
blame. I believed that I should not have felt it so much if
she had been a little older; but to have a mere child placed on
a level with me, and to be compelled to treat her with all the
respect due to a wife, was so terribly humiliating to me that at
times I thought that I could not endure it another day. She,
of course, expected to be treated with all the consideration
which is proper to a wife, and to be consulted in everything
by my husband, as a wife should be. She was not, however,
competent to undertake any household duties or wifely cares,
and was herself an additional responsibility to me. Young
and inexperienced as she was, she had everything to learn;
but, at the same time, she stood so' much upon her dignity that
it was anything but a pleasant task to teach her. It, of course,
devolved upon me to instruct her in everything, and I found
it anything but a congenial task. I soon began to look upon
her simply as a boarder, and expected nothing more from her
than I should if she had really been such.
She took very kindly to this position, and would spend her
days in her own room, reading and otherwise amusing herself,
and, of course, was always pleasant and well-dressed to receive
her husband. But this did not suit mie. In fact I do not
know what would have suited me at that time, for I was disposed to be displeased with everything. And yet a visitor to
our house would, I have no doubt, have said, How very pleasantly those two wives get along together. This has been said
of scores of women in Utah by casual observers-Gentiles
who thought they "understood" the system.  How little do
they know the aching void and the bitter hatred which exists
4' 
HOME LIFE IN POLYGAMY.
in the hearts of those wives-the detestation which they have of
one another. How little can they know, when everything is so
carefully hidden, even from their husbands. It is a shameful
thing that women-faithful wives and mothers-should be
placed in such a position.
How many times during the day have I been compelled to
leave everything and rush to my chamber, and there on my
bended knees supplicate for strength to endure, thinking all
the time that, in ordaining this Revelation, God had given us a
burden greater than we could bear.
Then, in the evening, when we were assembled together in
our cosy parlor, as we were wont to be, all traces that remained
of the terrible struggle which I had endured were a sad countenance and perhaps the deepening lines upon my brow, which
contrasted unpleasantly with the bright and cheerful face of
the young wife, and made my husband feel that I was getting
very sour in my disposition, as, indeed, was probably the case.
I was totally ashamed of these thoughts, at times, and felt
that it was very wrong of me to feel so unkindly towards this
young girl, whose only offence against me was that she had
acted up to the religious teachings that had been instilled into
her mind from infancy. I reminded myself that, for fught I
knew, my own dear child might be placed in a similar position;
and then how should I feel? How prophetic this fear proved
eventually, the reader will presently see.
Such thoughts as these would soften my heart towards the
young wife, and although she probably never dreamed that I
had felt unkindly towards her, yet, to silence my conscience, I
would strive in every possible way to show her some kind
attention. I could but feel and know that she was a good but
inexperienced girl; and I am bound to say that both she and
my husband tried to conduct themselves in such a way as to
give me as little offence as possible.  Situated as I was, however, nothing escaped my observation, and I felt most keenly.
Had I been treated with the cruelty and neglect which has
fallen to the lot of so many unfortunate women in Utah, I
should probably have been in my grave to-day, or in that
482 
DISPLAYING HIS "JEWELS!"
Asylum, which has been provided by the Church-situated on
a lonely hill at a sufficient distance from the city, so that the
cries of the unhappy, ill-treated, insane women should not be
heard.
Things and actions, which at another time I should have
considered too trifling to notice, had now a painful significance
to me. On one occasion, not long after the wedding, my husband asked me to take a walk with him, and I consented.
Among the Mormons it is a custom to take their wives out
together very frequently. Their object, I presume, is to display the "jewels" in their crowns before the eyes of their less
fortunate brethren. I had resolved that I would never submit to this-if my husband would not take me out alone I
would stay at home. On the occasion I mention, when I came
out of my room ready dressed, I found him and his wife, Belinda, waiting and chatting pleasantly together and looking
unutterable love at each other. At least, so I thought, and I
felt greatly insulted and annoyed, and told them I did not wish
to go. I carefully avoided showing any outbursts of temper
before the young lady which I thought would be undignified,
for I desired at least that she should respect me, though I did
not want her love. If I had expected that they would vfrge
me to accompany them, I should have been greatly mistaken,
for my refusal appeared to be just what they wanted. They
tripped off together as light-hearted and happy as children,
while I remained rooted to the spot, tearing my pocket handkerchief to pieces, and wishing I could do the same with them.
I used sometimes to wonder whether it would be the same
in the Mormon heaven, where this Celestial Order of Marriage
is expected to be carried out in all its fullness, and I felt
troubled for myself. These dreadful feelings would, I believed,
be the ruin of my soul, and I thought it was impossible for
me to obtain salvation until I had entirely subdued them, and
that I had not power yet to do. I had, however, so concealed
what I felt that my husband believed that I was becoming
used to this new life, which I am happy to say I never did.
Sometimes I felt that it was useless for me to fight agaihst
483
f 
ARGUMENTUM AD HOMINEM.
the will of Heaven, if this indeed was a divine law, and as yet
I dared nriot take upon myself to say it was not, although in
my secret heart I had at last begun sometimes to question in
earnest. My poor, benighted soul was looking anxiously at
that time for a ray of light to guide my faltering footsteps. I
did not wholly believe, but I dared not rebel, for fear of drawing down the wrath of an offended God upon my innocent
children and upon my husband, who I was firmly convinced
was actuated by a sincere desire to do the will of Heaven.
There were, however, sometimes, little things which did not
quite harmonise in my mind. I remember once saying to my
husband, when he was telling me that nothing but a firm belief
in the divinity of the Revelation would induce him to take
another wife and that he would do so from principle alone, that
I thought, if that were the case, an older and more plainlooking woman would do quite as well, and that he could dispense with so much courting. "You are compelled to wear
dresses," he replied, "but you do not allow those dresses to
occupy all your thoughts. Nevertheless, you take some pleasure in selecting them, and you desire that they should be
pretty and look well. So it is with men seeking wives."
This mode of putting the case was, I have no doubf, very
convincing to my husband's mind, and, at the moment, I could
not answer him.  But calmer thought would have told me that
while wearing and choosing dresses was by every right-minded
person considered perfectly legitimate, taking other wives was
by no means regarded in that light. The wrong was not so
much in the way the thing was done as in doing it at all and
under any circumstances. Logically speaking, the argument
was good enough, but the premises were utter'y unsound.
Day after day my rebellious soul was agitated by the same
troubled feelings. There was no rest for me-nothing upon
which I could stay my mind.  My husband was painfully
aware that there was a coldness and restraint existing between
his young wife and myself, and I know that he was grieved by
it, for he had tried in every way to create a friendly feeling
between us. I felt, however, that it was utterly impossible
484 
TIlE FIRST DAILY PAPER IN UTAH.
that I could ever be affectionate towards his other wife, much
as I might strive.  I would do my duty, but I could not love
her, or, in fact, him either for that matter, when he was asso-'
ciated with her.  I regret to be obliged to confess such a
truth, but from that time, and as long as I remained in Mormonism, the sentiment that was uppermost in my mind was an
utter detestation of the whole system.  I despised myself for
being the abject slave that I was.  Why could I not have the
moral courage to set everything at defiance-Revelation and
all-and free myself from the bondage that enthralled me?
I. know this day scores of women in Utah who think and
feel exactly as I did then, who suffer wrongs against which
their hearts daily and hourly rebel, but who, like me, dread to
cast aside the yoke of the oppressor.
At that time, in respect to pecuniary matters we were very
comfortably off. Almost immediately after our arrival in
Utah, Mr. Stenhouse had found employment on the staff of
the Deseret News. Before long, he obtained the appointment
of Postmaster for Salt Lake City, and before his marriage
with Miss Pratt, he had started the Telegrapih the first daily
paper that was ever published in Utah. From the beginning
it had been remarkably successful, for Brigham had counseled
the people to sustain it, knowing very well that he himself
would in return be supported by my husband. Brigham had
no more devoted follower than Mr. Stenhouse was then, for
the scales had not yet fallen from his eyes, and he believed the
Prophet was really what he claimed to be —a faithful servant
of God.  True, we had frequently talked together of his very,
mean actions; but my too generous, or perhaps too credulous,
husband had attributed all that to the weakness of his human
nature, and would not believe that it affected his priesthood
He therefore sustained him strongly and consistently before
the public; not for gain, for he had given too many instances
of his devotion to be suspected of that; but I may say from,
pure attachment, for I know too well that at that time he was,
almost ready to lay down his life for the.sake of his religion.
The. Telegraph  soon became  the leading journal in Utah,
'485 
OUR PROSPECTS BRIGHTEN.
and in a little while we were surrounded by every comfort and
luxury which at that time could be procured in Salt Lake City.
No family in the Territory was better provided for than was
ours, not excepting Brigham Young's. I had always believed
that if my husband were left alone, untrammelled by the
Church, to make his own way, he would do so successfully. In
this I was not mistaken. We now owned a fine dwelling house, a valuable city lot and house, where the paper was
printed, and also another very desirable lot, near to Brigham
Young's residence. This last lot was my own; it was very
beautifully situated, and we expended on it upwards of three
thousand dollars. Everything that my husband undertook at
that time seemed to prosper-not excepting his love affairs.
Just then a great deal was whispered privately about certain
murders which had been committed, all knowledge of which
was strenuously denied by the authorities. When any case
was so notorious that it could not possibly be altogether
hushed up, we were told that the murdered persons were dan gerous people and had been killed in self-defence by those
whom they in the first instance had attacked.
My husband, like hundreds of others, was never in theconfidence of the Church authorities in these matters. He believed
firmly in the divine mission of Joseph Smith, and shut his
eyes to the actions of Brigham Young, thinking that he alone
would be responsible to the Lord for his misdeeds. When I
drew his attention to the inconsistency of Brigham's conduct,
as on more than one occasion I did, he said we had enough to
do to look at home and see that we ourselves did what was
right. This, of course, was true, but I thought, nevertheless,
that a little more consistency on Brigham's part would not be
amiss.
I recollect a gentleman named Cook, for whose memory I
entertain the most sincere respect, wishing my husband to
take a contract to furnish grain for the Overland Mail Company, and how he urged him to do so for the benefit of his
family. Not long before that, however, Brigham had denounced in the Tabernacle all those who took contracts or
486 
THE PROPHET'S SWEET LANGUAGE.
who had any dealings with the Gentiles in any way whatsoever. One merchant in particular he singled out, and before
the whole congregation, showered upon him all his wrath
going so far as to call him a thief, and saying that he" would
apostatise and go to hell." Yet Brigham to-day is associated in
business with that same man!
Another gentleman, a Mr. Street, who constructed the first
telegraph line from California to Salt Lake City, acted a very
friendly part towards my husband, and wished to advance his
interests.  He one day came to me and said," Mrs. Stenhouse,
let me beg of you to use all your influence with your husband, and, if necessary, even insist upon his taking this contract which I have offered him. He is doing wrong to his
family by refusing, for he would make twenty thousand dollars, with very little trouble. I have urged him until I am
tired, and unless you insist he will refuse from fear of doing
wrong, after all that Brigham Young has said upon that subject; though I told him that Brigham would take it himself
and jump at it, if I were to offer it to him."
I had urged my husband before, and I felt certain that he
would not listen to my counsel. The contract was offered to
Brigham Young, and he did jump at it, and made his thousands
out of it. Even at that time I could not see why it would be
a sin for my husband to make the money, any more than for
Brigham to do so.  But this inconsistency was observable in
everything.   Many of the farmers' wives have frequently
told me that their husbands had been called to account
severely for taking their provisions to Camp Douglas to sell to
the Gentiles, while at the same time they had seen many of
Brigham's own teams there with produce
I felt it my duty to keep such things always before my
husband's eyes; but he was what is vulgarly called a" hardshell" Mormon and it took a great many raps to crack the
shell and let in a little light. He, of course, would deny this;
but wives, I think, are not generally mistaken in such matters.
I never neglected any opportunity, and when once I perceived
the slightest signs of weakness, I went to work with a will,
487 
" CHARMS FORK THE MEN."
until I got him to admit frankly that he was dissatisfied witlh
many things.  But for all that, he still held to the belief that
Mormonism was true, whatever Brigham might be. To get
him to admit that Brigham was not right was a great deal, and
it gave me hope forthe future.  I tried hard to enlighten his
understanding, but made very little progress. The difficulty,.
I believe, was that Mormonism possesses charms for the men
that it never has for the women. I firmly believe that they
willingly close their eyes to that which it does not suit them
to see.   However  that may  be, notwithstanding  all my
efforts, my husband still continued to sustain Brigham, and
worse still, before long he began to evince an earnest desire to
sustain one of Brigham's daughters also-of which I shall say
more presently.
My talkative friend called one day to speak of a very serious
subject.
"I have come, Sister Stenhouse,"'she said, "to talk to you
about a matter of great importance, but I don't want to
offend you, and you must promise beforehand to forgive me."
I readily promised, and she added:" I thought I should find
you very unhappy, Sister Stenhouse, about poor, dear'Carrie
Grant, and I think if you are so you deserve it, but I don't like
you to be miserable, and so I came to comfort you."
"But, Sister Ann," I said, "I don't want to be comforted
in the way you seem to mean.  I have been very sad indeed
at losing Carrie, but you know I did everything I could
for her, poor girl, and I have nothing to blame myself for."
"Nothing to blame yourself for?" she exclaimed. "Why,
Sister Stenhouse, you have everything to blame yourself for.
If poor Carrie has less glory it is all your fault."
"How so?" I said.
"Why," she answered, "if you had not held back and expressed your dislike, Carrie would have married your husband,
and would most likely have been alive now.  She would have
had her family, and would have added to your husband's glory;
while now, although she is your husband's wife, she has no
488 
SISTER ANN "COMFORTS" ME!
children, and, of course, must have less glory in the Kingdom.'
"Well, Sister Ann," I said, "I never thought of it in that
light.  I loved Carrie very much, and I tried to make her love
me. It was not until almost the last that I knew of her love
for my husband; but if I had known before, I am sure my
own heart would have rebelled against my husband taking
another wife. I did, however, ask him to marry her, and
after she was dead I was married to him for her."
"That's all very well, Sister Stenhouse," she replied, "but
for all that, I think you have committed a great wrong against
that poor orphan girl. You ought to be thankful that at last
you were able to repair a little of the mischief which you did.
I don't want to vex you, but I am really sorry that you had
such an antipathy to your husband having Carrie. However,
I suppose now he has really got another wife you are r t so
much set against Polygamy. You must find it quite a blessing to have Miss Pratt-I beg pardon, I mean Mrs. Stenhouse,
number two-with you now."
I did not answer her, for I had my own opinion about the
matter.  She went on without hesitation:  Well, you must
not be vexed with me, dear; I say it all for your good, ydli
know; but I do wish you felt a little more as I do about these
matters. Why, do you know, I have been trying to show
my faith and zeal in every possible way ever since we
came to Utah. It was only last week I was baptized for
Queen Anne."
"Queen Anne!"  I exclaimed.   "What can you possibly
mean?"
"Exactly what I say, Sister Stenhouse- I was baptized for
Queen Anne, and if you like I'll tell you all about it. It is
only just what every one else has been doing, only they were
baptized for other people. I don't think you've ever thought
much of this, and so I'll explain myself. You see, Sister
Stenhouse, the Elders teach us that the whole world is lying
in darkness and sin, and has been so, ever since the apostolic
gifts were lost ages ago. Now there is no salvation outside
30
489 
490     BAPTISM AND MARRIAGE FOR THE DEAD.
the Church, and you may remember that Christ Himself went
and preached to the miserable souls in Paradise."
"In Paradise?" I said, "why I thought that was a happy
place."
"Oh, no, Sister Stenhouse," she said, "not very happy. The
souls of those who have not heard the Gospel, and have not
been baptized, go there, and it's a sort of prison for them until
they are brought out again through the kindness of some
believer. The thief on the cross went there, and Christ went
there and preached to the spirits in prison, and when the
Elders die they go on mission to Paradise and preach to them
also. All your people and my people, our fathers, and mothers, and grandfathers, and so on, right up to the apostolic
times, are waiting in Paradise with millions and millions of
souls to be released and be admitted into the Celestial Kingdom. All the good brethren and sisters have been doing their
best to get out their relations and friends, and I know many
of them who have sent over to England and have spent large
sums of money in tracing their pedigrees and genealogies, in
order to find out the right names and to be baptized as proxies for the dead who owned those names. I have been baptized
for a good many of my own relations, and I mean tote baptized for scores more; and many of the brethren, too, have
been married as proxies for their own friends, and for distinguished people besides, so that they might be admitted into
the celestial kingdom and raise up patriarchal families of their
own. The poor souls, if they were released from Paradise by
a proxy baptism, could not, of course, have been married in
heaven, as there is no giving in marriage there; so some one
was married for them as proxy to some one else, and now they
can begin to establish their own celestial kingdoms."
"And have you been proxy in this way, Sister Ann?" I asked.
"No, and yes," she replied, "' I haven't yet been proxy in
marriage for any one, but I was proxy in baptism. When we
were children I remember we used to have some rhymes about
Queen Anne, and as it was my own name I always thought a
great deal of her. It seemed to me that it would be very nice, 
NAPOLEON AND WASHINGTON BECOME MORMON ELDERS. 491
and at the same time very charitable, if I were to help her out
of Paradise- It quite struck my fancy, for it was no small
thing to have a real queen thankful to you for so much.  So I
went and was baptized for her, and now she is out of Paradise
and has entered the Celestial Kingdom. But that isn't all.
There was my old friend, George Wilford, who heard all about
the matter, for I see him frequently, and he at once said that
he would be baptized for Prince George of Denmark, Queen
Anne's husband, and he means to do so, and, after that, we'll be
married by proxy for them here on earth, and then they'll both
be happy."
"Why, Sister Ann, what a droll idea," I said.
"Sister Stenhouse," she replied, quite seriously, "It's very
wrong of you to talk so. Some of the best Saints have stood
proxy in this way. There was one lady who stood proxy for
the Empress Josephine, and her son stood for Napoleon, and
some one else for Washington. Queen Elisabeth, too, has
been baptized by proxy. And now Napoleon and Washington
are both Mormon Elders, and I suppose some one will be
married for Queen Elizabeth, and she'll enter into Polygamy.
Do you know, Sister Stenhouse, there was one brother w!o
out of pure kindness said he would be baptized for the thief
on the cross, for he supposed that no one else would take pity
on him, and a sister who was present said she would be baptized for his wife, if Brother Brigham thought he ever had
one. I've been persuading my Henry to be baptized for Henry
the Eighth, for I'm sure he needed baptism for the remission
of sins; and he-I mean many Henry-has promised me to do
so; but he says that he means to ask Brother Brigham first
before he is married for him-if ever he is -as King Henry
was almost a polygamist in his way, and my husband thinks
there is not much need to be married for him at all."
"I can't help being amused," I said.  "Of course I have
often heard of being baptized for the dead, and I know the
Elders say that St. Paul spoke of it in one of his epistles, but
I never thought of it in that light; I always thought we should
have to wait till the Temple was finished." 
WAITING FOR QUEEN FANNY!
"That's true, Sister Stenhouse;" she replied,-"all the
marriages of all the Saints-of every one, in fact, on the face
of the earth-ought to be solemnized in the Temple here
in Salt Lake City, and every one ought to receive their Endowments in it; but as it is not yet finished, the Lord permits us
to be married, and everything else, in the Endowment House.
But you know yourself that there's a Record kept, and that
when the Temple is finished, the ceremony will be all gone
through with again. I've heard it said that many of the Elders
and their wives will live there, and that day and night perpetually the ceremonies will be going on. You ought to be baptized, however, now for as many relations as you can think of."
"I think I shall wait, Sister Ann," I said, "until I can find
a Queen Fanny, and then I'll be baptized for her."
She did not like me saying this, for she evidently thought I
was jesting. I was not jesting, however, but I felt greatly
amused, for this peculiar doctrine of the Saints had never
struck me in such an odd light before.   Sister Ann  was
shocked at the way in which I viewed her strange stories, but
"I'll come again in the course of a day or two, Sister Stenhouse," she said, "and put you all straight."          v
492 
CHAPTER XXXV.
FESTIVITIES AND SOCIAL GATHERINGS OF THE SAINTS: THlE PROPHET'S WHISKEY SHOP, AND DRY-GOODS STORE.
An Absent Husband's "'Kingdom "-A  Suggestion-A Pleasant Time for a
Wife-" The Old Womian is Full of the Devil"-What I heard at the Pic Nics-A ".Bishop" and his Four Wives-Quite a Spectacle:-The "Woman
in White! "-The "Peg" that God Made for Brigham's Hat-Dancing among
the Saints-How Balls and Social Parties are Conducted-A Man Disgraced by
Following his Wife-Sad Fate of a Swedish Lady-Life in a "Dug-Out" Another Phase of Celestial Marriage!-A Wronged Wife who Poisoned Her self-An Apostle's Five Wives!-Doing a Kindness for a Dead Uncle Marrying four Wives on the Same Day-The Fish Brought in by Brother
Brigham's Net-A  Slumbering Conscience-The Prophet's Theatre-The
"Word of Wisdom "-Brigham Young's Whiskey-making Establishment The "Revelation" and the Five-gallon Keg-Why Brigham sells bad Whis key-The Dry-Goods Store of "the Prophet of the Lord."
THE  more I saw of the practical working of the system in
Utah, the more did I learn to detest Polygamy; for
although I hesitated to reject Mormonism altogether, I could
not for a moment believe that many things of which I heard,
and many which came beneath my own observation, could
under any circumstances be considered right.
About that time, I made the acquaintance of a sister whom
I shall call Mrs. W   -.  Her husband was on mission and 
A ABSENT HUSBAND'S " KINGDOM."
had left his family without any suitable provision. She herself
was a remarkably neat and lady-like woman; but she appeared
to be delicate in health, and spoke with so much languor and
despondency that, directly I saw her, I was led to suspect that
her house also was haunted by that spectre- Polygamy.
She complained of poverty, and told me that her courage
was really failing; for, after she had striven so hard to provide a
home for her children, her husband had taken a young wife,
who seemed to think she had as much right in the sister's
house as the sister had herself. "She does not assist in the
least towards getting a living," she said, "and we have been left
entirely unprovided for, as the Church takes no care of the
Missionaries' wives. What is the use of slaving as I do to
prolong such a life as mine? My husband is coming home
soon, and he is sure to bring one or two girls with him. They
all do so."
During our conversation, she told me that some of the dignitaries of the Church had intimated to her that the wives of
Missionaries who were obliged to be absent for several years
had duties to perform which ought not to be neglected. It
devolved upon them to see that their husband's "kingdom"
did not suffer during their absence, and that if she Herself
were more complying in this respect, her pathway would be
rendered smoother. I had heard it hinted before that such
abominable suggestions had been thrown out, but this was the
first time that I had met with any one to whom they had personally been made. There are bad men in every community,
and the Saints are no exception. It is but fair to state that
the great mass of the Mormon people would be as truly horrified at such doctrines and practices as any Gentile man or
woman could be.
The constant anxiety of this lady, of whom I have been
speaking, was such that she often threatened to poison herself
and thus put an end to her misery. Her husband began to
pay his addresses to a young English girl who came in with
the hand-carts, and he made as great a simpleton of himself
as it is possible for a man to do when he is in love.  He was
494 
" THE OLD WOMAN IS FULL OF THE DEVIL."
scarcely ever at home; and often of an evening the wife would
see the young girl walking towards the house waiting for
her- the wife's-husband, and on  two occasions the girl
threw a little stone at the window to indicate that she was
there.  The poor wife never dared to say a word against
Polygamy in the presence of her husband. When she felt so
utterly miserable that she could no longer contain herself, and
ventured a word of remonstrance at his cruel neglect of
her and her five little ones, he would tell her-quoting the
brutal language of Brother Brigham-that "she had had her day,
and that it was nothing but right that his future wife should
now have some attentions paid her. She must round up her
shoulders and submit to the cross which we all have to bear!"
One day he brought the young girl home to tea without
saying a single word previously to his wife about it, and it was
as much as she could do to be civil to the girl. She mastered
her feelings, however, sufficiently to treat her properly; but
during the evening she had her temper tried to the uttermost.
Her husband sat all the time beside the girl, talking in an
under-tone, and toying with her.curls. At last the wife's feelings were worked up beyond endurance, and she told her
husband that, if he did not instantly desist, she would leve
the house. "You can go when you please," he said, "there
are plenty more women in the world, I guess. I suppose you
are jealous that you are not getting the same attention
yourself."
Then he turned to the girl and said, "Come, let us take a
walk; the old woman is full of the devil-she will get better
after awhile."
To say nothing of the man himself, what can be thought of
a girl who would marry a man who treated his wife in this
manner in her presence? And yet many Mormon girls think
that such men have simply been unfortunate in their first
choice of a wife, and will never treat themn so.
This was  another home, the happiness of which I saw
wrtcked. In England, that poor wife had been gay and
happy, and her husband was as faithful and attentive to her as
495 
A MORMON "BISHOP'S" FOUR WIVES.
a husband should be. Now, utterly broken-hearted, without
any interest in this world, and without hope for that which is
to come, she was going to her grave, forsaken by man and, as
she poor woman also thought, forsaken by her God.
Often at parties and at pic-nics I met with unhappy wives
who unfolded their griefs to me, and some of the things which
they related were of a very painful nature. There were instances of downright brutality and cruelty which would not
admit of repetition. There were also hundreds of cases in
which wives suffered, not so much by any one particular act of
wrong, as by innumerable daily and hourly trials, which came
upon them at all times, and made existence itself a curse to
them.
I remember once, at a pic-nic party, meeting with several
first wives whom I had known before I came to Utah, and the
stories which they told me were really shocking. At those
parties, which, of course, were intended for pleasure and
amusement, there was much that was painful in the conversation
of the women among themselves, but which would never have
been noticed by a stranger. Pic-nics are generally understood
to be held in the open air, and in the country; but w; used
to call the ward-parties which were held in the Social Hall by
that name. The Social Hall was built for this and similar
purposes, and was provided with a kitchen and other necessary offices, for the preparation of suppers and other refreshments. It was in this building that plays were acted before
the theatre was erected.
The pic-nic parties are quite an institution. Rich and poor,
young and old, babies and all, assembled at them to have "a
good time."  They take their own "pic-nic" with them, set
their own tables, make their own tea and coffee, and nurse
their own babies. On the occasion to which I allude we went
rather early, and thus I had an opportunity of watching the
arrivals. Some of them presented a very amusing appearance.
There was the Bishop of the ward and all his wives. Two of
his boys went in front of him, carrying a very large clotes
basket full of "pic-nic," as the eatables were called.  Then,
496 
"THE WOMAN IN WHITE!"
straggling after him, came four women and a bevy of noisy
children.  The wives were all dressed in grey linsey skirts,
blue muslin sacques, and green sunbonnets. When they took
off their bonnets I found that they all wore wreaths of roses or
some other flowers.  On entering, I found that quite a number had already assembled and were sitting bolt upright along
the sides of the hall, as whist as mice-the women on one side,
and the men on the other. At the further end of the hall I
saw an old lady sitting whom I recognised as one of my neighbors. She struck me as looking so strangely that I went
over to see what was the matter with her. She was pleased
to see me, asked me how I thought she looked, and said that
this was the first party she had attended since she came to
the Valley. She had supposed that it was absolutely necessary for her to wear something white, and had therefore arrayed herself in a white night-dress which answered the purpose of a loose sacque. Sacques and skirts were all the rage
at that time. She had on also a little white muslin nightcap,
and altogether she looked very neat and clean, but certainly
not fit for a party. I did not, of course, like to tell her so, but
I felt sorry to see her dressed in that style. 
Brigham Young was there, and kept his hat on all the time,
as was his custom; and Heber C. Kimball sat during the
evening with a red pocket-handkerchief thrown over his head,
while the Apostle George A. Smith, a cousin of Joseph, the originator of Mormonism, had a similar article thrown carelessly
round his neck. Heber once said publicly in the Tabernacle,
when speaking of the wearing of hats, and the proper degree of
respect which ought to be shown to the Prophet: "I never
feel as though I wanted to wear my'at when Brigham is present. I consider that the master should wear his'at, or'ang
it on the peg that God made for it, which is his'ead, of
course." All these things, however, have been changed since
Brigham came under the gentle control of Amelia.
On the occasion of which I speak, Heber came up the Hall,
soon after we entered, with five or six of his wives following
him. The wives always follow the husband. In fact, every
497 
LADIES GO LAST!
thing that is done, whether in word or deed, impresses one
with the conviction that the Mormons are determined to make
the women feel and fully understand that they are inferior
beings. Even in the dance the man takes the lead. In all
the classes and promenades he precedes his wives and all
other women. In a special council, held in Salt Lake City,
Brigham Young once said: "For a man to follow a woman is,
in the sight of Heaven, disgraceful to the name of a man."
They have a curious kind of dance in Salt Lake City, called a
double cotillion, in which one man dances with two women.
This is done in order to accommodate those who have many
wives. On entering the hall, a number is given to each man,
and he is not expected to dance until his number is called.
When that is done, they come like a streak across the hall to
the ladies' side, to get partners; and when the dance is ended
they conduct them back to their seats, and then all retire as
they came, with the exception of a few love-sick swains who
are reckless enough to break through this rule, in order to
enjoy the society of their lady-loves between the dances.
It is only old and hardened Saints, however, who will venture to set at defiance long established regulations and endure
the scrutinizing gaze of the brethren on the opposite side of
the hall. All this has a very unsociable and stiff appearance to those who attend one of these parties for the first
time.
At the particular pic-nic of which I speak, I met a Swedish
lady whom I had known in New York. She had come out to
Utah, believing fully all that had been told her of that new
Zion. She was not very young or good-looking when she
arrived, but she had a good deal of money, and consequently
was much troubled with offers of marriage. Finally she consented to become a second wife; but she very soon discovered that her husband thought more of her money than he
did of herself. He gave her no peace until he got it all into his
own hands, and then he neglected her utterly; scarcely ever
even coming to see her.
This poor woman, quite deserted by her husband, was
498 
HE MARRIED FIVE WIVES AT ONCE!
obliged to live in what they call in Utah a "dug-out."  A
"dug-out " is a large cellar, or hole, excavated in the ground,
just like the place formed in digging the foundation for a
house. It generally is only one fair-sized room, roofed in on
the top with boards, and with a few steps in front by which to
descend.  Sometimes in such a place a man  lives with a
couple of wives and a host of children, and this is one phase
of the order of" Celestial Marriage."
The Swedish lady, of whom I speak, had been well brought
up in her own country and was well educated; she could, however, speak but little English, and therefore found it very difficult to find employment, after the good brother had relieved
her of her property. So she worked in the fields, or did anything else which she could get to do. She lived a wretched
sort of life, and, finally, poisoned herself; but no one seemed
to care much about St, for very little attention is paid to the
death of a woman in Utah, unless she is a favorite wife. No
one troubles himself to make any investigations in such a case:
-the woman was neither young nor handsome, and she might
just as well die as live!
The visitor to Utah is only allowed to see the holiday, outside manners of the people.  If he thinks he sees more, he is
in most cases, deceived. But any one who really knows the
great mass of the Mormon wives as they really are, would confess that a more weary, worn, and dejected set of women could
nowhere be found.
How could it possibly be otherwise? The whole system is
radically wrong. How could men act properly to their wives
when they marry as many as three, four, five, and six in one
single day? Such things have actually been done, absurdly
impossible as it may seem. There was the Apostle Franklin
D. Richards, of whom I have previously had occasion to speak.
He married five wives. George Grant-the brother of Jedediah M. Grant, the Apostle of the Utah "Reformation "marriedfour women at one' time.  They owned some very fine
property, and ill-tempered people said that Brother Grant had
an eye principally to that. But he, good soul, would tell you
499 
NO CONFIDENCE.
that he did it altogether from principle.  They all do, and I
presume they ought to know best.,
When Franklin D. Richards married the five or six widows
of his uncle, Dr. Richards, some people said that he was actuated by the same motive; but his friends said that his only
wish was to be a father to the fatherless and a husband to the
widow! Brigham is always very willing that any of the
brethren should marry the widows of deceased Apostles or
other dignitaries; but as for their property, that is quite another thing. He himself always has an eye to that, and whenever it is possible, the net of the Prophet draws into its
meshes all that is valuable, whether small or great.
As for Brother Brigham's own iniquities, it would take a
book much larger than this present volume to tell them
all. He lives, in fact, and has lived, for years, in a condition
of such constant antagonism to all right and honorable principles, that I really believe that at last he hardly knows when
he is doing wrong. He does not like his actions to be scrutinized, and he has always taken special pains to prevent the
people from intermingling with the Gentiles, who he feared
might excite in them a spirit of inquiry.
When the United States army went to Utah, in i57, one
half of the old Tabernacle was appropriated to the sisters,
and the other half to the brethren. The centre of the new
Tabernacle is now devoted exclusively to the sisters, and no
husband or brother is permitted to sit near them. This is
done for the purpose of avoiding the slightest opportunity
for any Gentile to converse with them; for the Mormons,
as a rule, have not the slightest confidence in their wives,
and are very jealous of them. I suppose this is natural, and
that the men, knowing their own frailty, judge their wives
from their own stand-point of morality. Brigham Young is
the most distrustful of them all. He not only guarded the
women in the Tabernacle, but when the theatre was built
he arranged so that it would be impossible for Gentiles to mix
with the families of the Saints. The Mormon families occupied the parquette, and the Gentiles had the first circle. The
5oo 
THE DOER AND NOT THE DEED.
poor among the Saints are, of course, regarded as the common
herd, at all times, except when a collection is required, and
then they are solemnly reminded that they are a sanctified and
peculiar people.   It is not therefore necessary that any
trouble should be bestowed upon them, and no effort is made
to preserve them, in the theatre, from contamination with the
Gentiles. Gentiles and Mormons sit together in the second
and third circles, and no one is expected to take any notice of
it, as the theatre is Brigham's own property.
If the theatre had been owned or conducted by any one
else than Brother Brigham, it would have been a sin for the
Mormnons to have mingled in it with the Gentiles. The people
would have been "counselled" to remain at home, if they
could not sit by themselves exclusively. But the fact that
Brigham is the owner of the theatre does away with any sinfulness in the people attending it and sitting side by side with
the Gentiles.
In the same way, when Brigham made whiskey, the whiskey
was sanctified.  Joseph Smith gave a "revelation" which he
called "The Word of Wisdom," enjoining those who among
the Saints would be most saintly, never to touch any kind of
strong drink; not even tea or coffee, or anything warm. This
revelation, as I before mentioned, we ourselves followed while
on mission, as, in fact, did all the members of the Church in
Europe. It was only when we saw the American Apostles
and Elders-more fond of creature comforts than obeying the
commands of the Prophet-that we thought it was needless
for us abstain any longer; and accordingly followed their example, and ceased to deny ourselves many of those thmings
which are generally considered to be among the necessaries of
life. The Saints in Europe were not backward in imitating
the Apostolic example; and thus the "Word of Wisdom "has
fallen into disuse.
This I do not think was a matter to be regretted; for originally this revelation was, I believe, given not for the promotion of sobriety, but simply to get the people to save their
money, so as to bring in more to the coffers of the Church.
o50! 
BROTHER BRIGHAM'S WHISKEY.
Its disuse enabled many a poor soul-old men and sick
women to whom a cup of warm tea or coffee was the greatest
comfort of their lives-to partake of those beverages without
fear of committing sin against the "Word" of the Lord.
Whether Brother Joseph himself kept his "Word of Wisdom" may very well be doubted, for his own son, Alexander,
says, "There are those who say that the Revelation [on Polygamy] was received over a five-gallon keg of whiskey." Certain it is that Brother Brigham, seeing that even among the
Saints every one did not care to keep this "Word of Wisdom,"
turned the weakness of the people to profitable account.
A certain Mr. Howard set up a whiskey-making establishment in Salt Lake City, and was doing a very good business
in that line; but Brother Brigham declared that no more
should be made, and Mr. Howard was told to go on a mission
to preach the Gospel. Soon after he left, the establishment
was again running, and a great quantity of whiskey was sold;
but as it was dispensed at a store surmounted by an imitation
of the All-seeing Eye, over the inscription, "Holiness unto
the Lord "-the sign of Zion's Cooperative Institution-nothing was thought of the matter.  The nature of thewhiskey
was, of course, changed. Some said, however, that it was not
changed for the better, and that Brother Brigham's whiskey
was much inferior to Brother Howard's, and much weaker.
Probably, Brother Brigham thought that strong drinks were
not good for the people, and made the whiskey weaker out of
pure love to them.
Many young Mormon boys, otherwise respectably brought
up, have been ruined by the too free sale of whiskey by the
Church. I know one young man, in Utah, who told me that
this had been the case with himself and several others. He
always silenced his conscience by saying that he had never
tasted anything but what was made at Brother Brigham's
establishment and sold at one of the Church stores. Finally,
seeing the inconsistency of these things, he turned away from
Mormonism, Brigham, and whiskey, all at the same time, and
then became a respectable and steady young man.
502 
_    ~;
~
\\\\
"CHURCH" STORE-MUST BE RIGHT!
YE 
0 
THE PROPHET'S DRY-GOODS STORE!
When wve went to Salt Lake, the Saints were not permitted to
keep Gentile boarders. If they did so they lost their standing in the Church. Those who persisted in doing so created
great scandal, and were themselves attacked without mercy in
the Tabernacle sermons. They were told that intercourse in
any shape with the Gentiles would cause them to lose the
spirit, and they were, therefore, warned against it. Since then,
however, so greatly have matters changed, that two of Brigham
Young's own wives have taken in Gentile boarders; and more
than one of his daughters have taken in Gentile sewing in
order to provide a little extra pocket money for themselvesmoney which they spent in what their father calls "wretched
Gentile fashions."
While the Prophet himself, and Daniel H. Wells, his counsellor, the Mayor of Salt Lake City, have made themselves
conspicuous in denouncing everything that was not Mormon,
some of their wives, and also their own sons and daughters,
are at this moment aping every Gentile who comes within
sight, and have done their very best to dress according to the
very latest Gentile style. The people, when they see Brigham
and his family themselves leading the way, think that there
can be no great sin in following; and the more so as they are
able to purchase all the finery that their hearts can desire at
the dry-goods store of "the Prophet of the Lord!"
5o5 
CHAPTER XXXVI.
MY DAUGHTER BECOMES THE FOURTH WIFE OF BRIGHAM
YOUNG'S SON.-THE SECOND ENDOWMENTS.
Learning More of the Inner Life-The Mistakes of Newspaper Correspondents
in Utah-Looking through Mormon Spectacles-Kept in the Dark-The Sec ond Wife Begins Housekeeping-Getting Rid of Her!-My Clara's Lover Joseph A. Young-The Engagement-Waiting for "Something" to Turn
Up-Asking Permission to Go East-How Mormon Girls are Deceived and
Deceive Themselves-Brother Brigham "Counsels" Brother Stenhouse-Thy
Wedding Day Fixed-The Marriage Ceremony in the Endowment-Ilouse Brother Brigham Officiates-Married for Time and for All Eternity-The
Fourth Wife of a Polygamist-A Mother's Sorrow-We Receive our Second
Endowments-" Our" Husband Anointed King and Priest-Belinda and
Myself made Queens and Priestesses-A Little Stranger: The Second Wife's
Baby-" The Conclusion of the Whole Matter."
AFTER I had consented, and in reality nad given my
husband a second wife, my status in Mormon polygamic
society was very considerably improved. First wives who lived
in, and firmly believed, this "Order of Celestial Marriage,"
tried in every way to make me feel that I was one with them;
and those who had not much faith felt more kindly towards me,
because I had been caught in the same snare with themselves.
Every polygamic wife-whether first, second, third, or
tenth-no matter how much or how little she may believe in
"Celestial Marriage"; no matter how refined or how coarse and 
INTERVIEWING THE SAINTS.
degraded her nature may chance to be; cannot help feeling
that her position is inferior to that of a monogamic wife. On
this account, many of the Mormon women are never satisfied
until they have drawn every woman of their acquaintance
down to their own level.   The influence of this supposed
"Revelation" is by no means elevating or refining.
I was now upon an equal footing with other first wives.
They had, therefore, no hesitation in confiding to me their
griefs; and situated as I was, I had abundant opportunities of
hearing stories of cruelty, wrong, and suffering, under the
"Celestial" system-many of them so utterly revolting that I
would not dream of relating them again. Polygamy among
the Mormons is so involved in disgusting and disgraceful
details, that a modest woman would not dare to relate all she
knew. In this book I have endeavored to be true to my title
and to "tell all," as far as such a thing was possible. But
there are thousands of horrible incidents, too degrading for
mention, which form part and parcel of the system of Polygamy, but which no woman who had any respect for herself
would think of putting upon paper.
Previous to the time when my husband took his second
wife, although I had learned too much, I had to a certain extent
been kept in the dark respecting some of the vile and loathsome practices of Polygamy; but after that, by slow degrees,
I was thoroughly initiated into the system.
Visitors to Utah would perhaps notice in the faces of the
Mormon wives a dull, careworn, weary expression, altogether
the reverse of that contented look which is seen among
"Gentile" women. But those very women would never disclose to the stranger the depth of that sorrow which is wearing
away their lives.  Some few, indeed, have been led to speak
of their troubles; but they have afterwards found that the
very persons in whom they confided most, distorted and exaggerated every word that they had uttered, for the sake of
making a good story for the press. In many cases, the names
of those who were thoughtless enough to expose their sorrows,
together with little personal matters which should never have
31 
507 
508     LOOKING THROUGH MORMON SPECTACLES.
been made public, were put  into print; and when the matter
came before the Church authorities-as in course of time it
was certain to do-there was a great deal of trouble and
unpleasantness. Women, consequently, as a rule, tell nothinTg;
and book-makers and people connected with the press, while
they give to the world astonishing stories of what they have
heard know really nothing of the truth. When a smart man,
or a man connected with the press, comes to Utah, the Church
authorities take him in hand at once. He is carried here and
there, and treated with the utmost deference; a pair of Mormon spectacles is placed by Brigham, or one of his numerous
factotums, upon the visitor's eyes, and through them he looks
at all that transpires. Then comes a glowing account in the
papers, or else apocryphal stories appear in the visitor's last
new book; and unsophisticated people, who innocently suppose
that all that is in print must be true, begin to think that the'
stories of the evil-doing of the Prophet, which from time to
time have crept out, were only scandalous reports, and that
Brigham Young-like Somebody else who shall be nameless!-was, after all, not quite so black as he has been painted.
The intelligent Saints, however, are not thus deceived.
They may hold to Mormonism, and may regard Brigham in
his priestly capacity as a Prophet; but they are not blind to
his sins. I could, from my own personal knowledge, mention
the names of men in whom Brigham Young has the fullest
confidence and who are in daily communication with him.
Their faith, in most instances, has really fled, although in name
they are still "Saints;" they bow the knee before the Prophet's throne, but in their hearts they despise him; for years of
intercourse with him have taught them what he really is.
This is, however, carefully hidden from the outer world. A
gentleman, who had for five years resided in Salt Lake City,
said to me a few months ago: "Mrs. Stenhouse, when I had
been here about three weeks I thought that I knew enough of
Mormonism,-to write a book; when I had been here three
months I began to think that I did not know quite as much;
and now, after five years, I have come to the conclusion that I 
" OUR" SECOND WIFE BEGINS HOUSEKEEPING.
really know nothing at all. I have lived in a Mormon family
for the past year, but that has not increased my knowledge.
They are constantly upon their guard. They treat me kindly,
but they never let me know any thing."
This, I believe, has been the experience of nearly all the
Gentiles resident in Salt Lake City.   Gentlemen had no
chance of learning anything, and the opportunities of ladies
were only a trifle better.
Up to this time I had said very little to my children about
my doubts and fears. With the exception of my daughter
Clara, they were all too young. Clara was just budding into
womanhood and day by day gave promise of more beauty and
interest in her future life.  I dreaded to cast a cloud across
her way by telling her of my own apprehensions in respect to
Polygamy.  If that were the "Order"' of "Heaven," she would
certainly have to live in it; and in any case it was the "order" of
Brigham Young, and my child could not escape from it, for no
one, unless at peril of life, could flee from Zion, in those days.
I kept, therefore, from my daughter all my own troubles, feeling that she herself would soon enough have trials of her own.
She saw how much I suffered, and no doubt knew the cause;
and, although she could not fully enter into my feelings, her
companionship was a great consolation to me, and I loved her
all the more because I felt that my own heart was widowed.
HIow often I prayed that she might be spared such a life as
that which I lived.
We-had lived together in Polygamy about a year, when my
husband told me that his young wife desired to have a home
of her own, and that he intended to provide her with one.
This was very pleasant intelligence to me; for the sight of that
other wife constantly before my eyes-sitting at my table, in the
midst of my family, walking in the garden with my husband in
the evening, or tete-d-tete with him in the parlor-was more
than I could bear. I began to feel, whether justly or not, that
my presence was a restraint to them, and that they felt
annoyed when I was with theni. This feeling was so strong
with me that I constantly avoided them, and I finally concluded 
MY CLARA'S LOVER.
to spend the evenings in my own room with my children, for
then, being out of their presence, I should perhaps be at peace.
All this time I hoped that my husband would urge me to come
back again to the parlor, and several times he did so, but I
thought that I was de trop, and remained in my room. He
thought that I was making myself quite disagreeable, and
such probably was the case, for no wife could be pleasant or
happy, situated as I was.
This, however, was all changed when my husband established
a second home. I did not mind being deprived of his society
so long as I could get rid of her. Personally I had no ill feeling
towards her, for she had always treated me with respect; the
only reason why I hated her was because she was his wife;
even her presence was painful to me, and when she was near
me I hardly felt able to breathe.
Just at that time, the marriage of my daughter Clara first
began to be talked about seriously. One day my husband
being out driving with Joseph A. Young, the eldest son of the
Prophet, the subject was discussed between them, and Joseph
A. made a proposition of marriage. This, to me, was the
cause of considerable uneasiness, as Joseph A. was a polygamist, and at first I altogether refused to listen to the suggestion.
At that time Clara was not fifteen years of age, and not only
did I consider her altogether two young to think of marriage,
but I was shocked at the bare idea of her becoming a polygamic wife. I almost hated Joseph for asking for her.
Personally I had no objection to Clara's lover. I had known
him for several years. He was an intelligent, generous-hearted,
and handsome man, of very good standing among the Saints,
and wealthy. As a friend, I valued and esteemed him; but
that he, a polygamist, should wish to marry my darling daughter
was very repugnant to my feelings. Clara was then growing
old enough to understand my more serious thoughts and sentiments, and her companionship was very precious to me. The
thought of her marrying into Polygamy was to my mind almost
as painful as the thought of her death would have been.
My husband agreed with me that she was too young to
51o 
WAITING FOR " SOMETHING TO TURN UP."
marry; but on that point he could not offer any great objection, as his own wife although very womanly in appearance
was but very little older in years. I told Joseph A. of my reluctance to the proposed marriage and he fully entered into
my feelings. I could not absolutely refuse him, but I wished
to gain time. Every day found me more and more weak in
the faith, and I thought that, if I could only postpone my
Clara's fiarriagelfor a few years, something might transpire
which would relieve me of my difficulty.
Joseph promised to wait just as long as we thought proper,
if only we would allow him to speak to Clara and explain to
her the sentiments with which he regarded her. In this he
acted in a way very unlike the Mormon men generally, and I
respected him accordingly. I promised him that I would not
influence my daughter, but would let her decide for herself.
This, after much careful consideration, I came to the conclusion was all that I could do. My mind at that time was in a
very troubled state. Day by day my doubts respecting the
plural wife system became stronger and stronger, and I felt
that before very long some great change must take place, both
in my faith and in my life. At the same time, outward cir'cumstances gave no promise of any such change. My husband gave no signs of apostacy, and, as a Saint, I knew he
would never think of undertaking anything without the permission of Brother Brigham. We did not even dare to leave
the city without consulting the Prophet. In times, then very
recent, it was at the risk, and sometimes, indeed, at the sacrifice, of life, that any one left Salt Lake Valley without permission; and even at the present moment no good Saint who
values his standing in the Church would dream of going East
without first obtaining the approval of Brigham Young. I
could not, therefore, at the time of which I write, foresee the
great changes which have since taken place. To refuse my
daughter to the Prophet's son, would, I knew, be utterly useless. By partial submission I might gain some advantages;
and the longer I postponed the marriage, the greater chance
there was that "something" might turn up, which we all
5II 
BRIGHAM SETTLES, THE MATTER.
more or less look for when we are placed in circumstances
which admit of the exercise of very little choice or effort.
My only objection against Joseph A. was, as I just stated,
that he was a polygamist; but so long as we remained in the
Church I could not openly allege this in opposition to the
proposed marriage.  If my Clara married a single man, there
was every chance, if not an absolute certainty, that after a
while he would take another wife, or wives. This had been
the case with other girls with whom my child was acquainted.
They had married single men, trusting that their influence
over them would be sufficient to retain their affections ever to
themselves alone; but they had soon reason to see how groundless their expectations and hopes had been. If, on the other
hand, I gave my daughter to a polygamist, there was certainly
no reason why Joseph A. should be refused. I felt surrounded
on every side by difficulties, and out of them all I endeavored
to choose the least.
One day my husband told me that Brigham Young had seriously spoken to him about the matter, and had "counselled"
him to let the marriage take place at once, saying that my
Clara was quite old enough.  After this, objection onny part
would have been utterly unavailing. Everything was settled
at the f_at of Brigham; and the feelings and judgment of a
father and mother in respect to their own daughter were, of
course, of not the slightest consequence.
The wedding-day was therefore fixed, when the sweet flower
of my own quiet garden was to be transplanted to another
home.
We went to the' Endowment House-my husband, myself,
and our daughter, together with some friends of the family.
There we met with Joseph A. Young, the expectant bridegroom; his father, Brigham Young; Joseph A.'s first wifeMary Young; and several of the brethren. The bride and
bridegroom, and the bridegroom's first wife, were all dressed
in their Temple robes. We then entered a small room where
the altar, of which I have already spoken, is placed. At the
end of the altar, Brigham was seated in a large arm-chair
5I2 
MY CLARA'S WEDDING.
covered with crimson velvet. The altar was. also crimson;
Brigham offioiated.  Joseph A.'s first wife, Mary Young, knelt
in front of the long crimson altar; and my daughter Clara
knelt beside her on a sort of faldstool or ledge, arranged for
that purpose.  Behind the altar, knelt Joseph A.  Brigham
said: "Joseph, are you willing to take Clara Stenhouse to be
your lawful and wedded wife for time and for all eternity?"
Joseph answered, "Yes." Then Joseph's first wife was told
to place the right hand of my daughter in the right hand of
her husband, in token that she was willing; and then Clara
was questioned, as Joseph'had been. When she replied in the
affirmative, Brigham said, " I pronounce you man and wife in
the name of the Lord. Amen." They were now married;
and Brigham Young, Joseph A.'s first wife, and a few other
friends came home to the wedding breakfast, after which my
daughter went to her own pleasant home.
Thus my worst fears were realised-my own daughter had
become a polygamic wife-she was the fourth wife of her husband, Joseph A. Young.
It is a source of sorrow to any mother who really loves her
children to lose them, even if it be for their own good and
happiness; but in my own case there were reasons why I felt
the loss of my daughter more than I should have done under
ordinary circumstances. I felt quite desolate without her; for
when left all alone, when my husband took his second wife,
and when I had no one else to turn to, my little daughter had
entwined herself about my heart in a thousand sweet and
loving ways. She knew how great an influence music had
over me, and how much I loved to hear her play and sing;
and when she saw how sad my heart was, or caught me in
tears, she would go to her piano, and lure me to her side by
some sweet song which she knew was dear to my memory.
But, with her went all that love and gentleness which in my
time of'deepest trouble sustained me and kept me from absolute despair.
I have often wondered whether Joseph ever realised how
great, how dear, a gift I bestowed upon him when I gave him
513 
THE SECOND ENDOWMENTS.
my little Clara. But in saying this I do not mean to cast the
shadow of a doubt upon his true-heartedness and love towards
her. He was always kind and thoughtful, considering her
comfort in everything; and although they have now been
married seven years, he has never changed, but is the same to
her as on the first day of their marriage. A good, kind, and
gentle husband he has ever been, anticipating her every wish,
tenderly and caretully guarding her from even a painful thought.
My only regret has been that he is a polygamist, and she a
polygamic wife.
Not long after this, my husband one day told me that a select
few had been chosen to receive their Second Endowments, and
that we were to be honored with the same privilege. This I
was told was one of the highest honors that could be conferred
upon us, as the Second Endowments had never been given to
any one since the Mormons left Nauvoo.
The glory of this privilege I did not myself, however, feel;
and, notwithstanding any respect which might be intended by
our names being added to the list of chosen ones, I refused to
see the slightest good in the whole affair. I am afraid I was
naturally perverse, or was it that the light was now beginning to dawn more clearly upon my mind? I know not. But
I raised every possible objection, feeling, though I did, that all
opposition on my part was useless. I knew that I should have
to go, but I felt a dismal satisfaction in letting every one know
how much I hated the system.
Our second wife; I say " our," because I had been taught
that my husband and myself were indissolubly one, even in
the matter of taking wives; "our" second wife seemed the
happiest of us all when the day arrived, and I believe she considered that we were very highly favored. After preparing
our Temple robes, we started for the Endowment House.
The reluctance which I felt caused me to lag behind, and I
was gently reminded several times that I was making myself
very disagreeable. I did not, however, feel much remorse, for
my husband bad still one good, obedient wife walking at his
514 
POLYGAMY IN LOW LIFE:-THE POOR MAN'S FAMILY.
POLYGAY IN HIGH LIFE:-THE " —ROPHET'S" MANSION —.POLYGAMY IN HIGH LIFE: —THE "PROPHET'S" MANSION.  
WE ARE ORDAINED QUEENS AND PRIESTESSES!
side, who I knew would sympathise with him; and that, as
every one is aware, is more than falls to the lot of every man.
When we reached the Endowment House, we ladies were
shown into one room and ozur husband into another. We then
proceeded to array ourselves in our robes, caps, and apronsthe same as when we received our first Endowments-and
when all was ready we were ushered into another room by one
of the brethren, who was also dressed in his Temple robes.
There we met our husband and several other brethren, all
dressed in the same way. We sat down, and oil was then
poured upon the head of our husband, by two of the brethren
-Daniel H. Wells, and another-and he was then ordained a
King and Priest to all eternity. After that, we two wives were
anointed in like manner, and ordained Queens and Priestesses,
to reign and rule with our husband over his kingdom in the
celestial world.
Had I ever solaced myself with the notion, which some
Mormon women entertain, that first wives are queens over all
the rest, I should have been sadly disappointed when I heard
"ozur" second wife ordained to the same high office as myself.
As it was, however, my faith was so small that I should have
been quite contented had they consecrated her alone queenfor
Eternity, so long as they would have allowed me to rule and
reign by myself in my own home for Time.
The ceremony did not last long; but it all appeared to me
such folly that I was anxious to leave the place, and though
I dared not say so, I was truly ashamed to be seen coming
out of the House. While going through these Endowments
I was filled with a thorough contempt for everybody and
everything around me, and I suppose that my feelings were
visible upon my countenance, for, after leaving the House, I
remember the Apostle John Taylor asking me if I did not feel
well, and I told him as plainly as I dared what really was the
matter. He spoke to me very kindly, and tried to re-assure
me, but the scales were now falling from my eyes, and all his
arguments availed nothing.
Notwithstanding all this, I was not ready yet to cast off the
517 
" GOD BLESS YOU FOR THAT."
yoke, and a few months after our Second Endowments I again
gave evidence of my faith. An event occurred in the other
branch of my husband's family which produced a strong impression upon my mind-a little daughter was presented to
him by his second wife. I was, of course, expected to go and
visit the young mother and child, and I thought I could never
bring my mind to do that.
It would be impossible for me to define my feelings at that
time;-loathing and hatred for him and for her, and even for
the poor innocent babe, on the one side; and, on the other,
thoughts of what I considered was my duty towards God, my
husband, and his other lawful wife. I was bewildered.-My
heart said, Do not go; but my conscience said, It is your duty
to treat her kindly, for she believes she has done you no
wrong. Then I thought-She is a young mother, and without you frowning upon her, sorrow will come swiftly enough
to her door.
I saw that my husband was troubled as to what my feelings
might be, although he had not had courage to tell me himself
of the interesting event. He was afraid of paining me and
sent a lady friend with the intelligence. I spoke to him
myself and told him that I would go and see Belinda aid her
child.  He  thanked me and said, "God bless you for that."
Then I went to see her; but I was thankful when the visit
was over, and although I went again many times, and tried my
very best to treat her kindly and even affectionately, I could
never get over the painful feelings which agitated my mind
when in her presence.
5I8 
CHAPTER XXXVII.
REALITIES OF POLYGAMIC LIFE:-ORSON PRATT: THE STORY
OF HIS YOUNG ENGLISH WIFE.
Peculiar Position of Plural Wives-The Troubles of a Pretty Young Welsh Girl
-The Story of Orson Pratt and His Young Wife-The  "Champioia of
Polygamy "-The Wife of an Apostle-Leaving a Mother and her Babes to
Starve-The Neglected Wife-Destitute and Forsaken-Attacked by Fever
-The Wretched Wife Loses her Senses-She Wanders Forth Upon the
Prairie with her Babes-The Good Deeds of Brother Kelsey and his Wife
-They Clothe and Feed the Poor Wife-The "Philosopher" and his dying
Wife-He Takes Matters Comfortably-" It is Too Late, Orson; Too Late!"
Another Victim to Polygamy-How a Wife's Rocking-chair was Stolen How a Good Brother Whipped His Little Wife-Whence Come the Efders'
Wives-Dupes from the Old World-" Gone East!"-His other "Home" The Advent of Three Little Babies-Why I Blame those Men.
I DO not think that Polygamic wives feel the anomalies and
cruelties of the" Celestial Order" half so keenly as the first
wives, or they would never enter into it.
The position of the plural wives-second, third, fourth, or
twentieth, it matters not-is but a mockery, after all; and in
many respects they are more to be pitied than the first wives.
The first wives have known, if only for a little while, a husband's love and care; but that has never been felt by the
second wives. They are, in fact, in many respects little
better than slaves; and if they are sensitive girls, their position must be extremely painful, for they must realise at all
times that they are receiving the attentions of another 
TROUBLES OF A PRETTY WELSH GIRL.
woman's husband; and in many instances they are even
afraid to be seen speaking to their husband for fear of
bringing down the wrath of the first wife upon their heads.
Others, who are not so sensitive, assert their own rights and
are defiant.
I am well acquainted with a pretty young Welsh girl who
was a second wife. Her husband had converted her to Mormonism while he was on a mission to Europe, and, when they
reached Salt Lake, he married her. I saw her first two years
after her marriage, when one day she came to me in the greatest distress. She asked me if I would give her some employment, and, greatly surprised at the request, I asked her how
she came to need anything to do, as I knew her husband could
well afford to support her.
"I have left my husband," she answered, "for I could stand
no longer the ill-treatment that I received. I endured it
until, as you see, my health is failing and I am broken-hearted.
The creature I married has no manhood in him. He has
allowed me to be treated like a slave, and has himself halfstarved me and has acted towards me with the greatest inhumanity.  When I married him," she said, "I was willing to
make myself useful in the family, and I did so. But one thing
after another was given me to do until I became a regular
drudge-they would not have dared to treat a hired girl in the
way they treated me. I was put into a miserable little back
room, and was never allowed to see any of my friends; I had
to work early and late. When at last my position would not
admit of my working quite so much, they punished me with
all sorts of petty unkindnesses, and nearly starved me, giving
me only a little flour or a few potatoes every day.
"At last," she continued, "I went to Brother Brigham to
know what I should do. He sent for my husband and talked
to him a long,time, and he promised to do better if I would
go back with him. Brother Brigham counselled me to do
so, and try him again; and I went. Soon after that, my
babe was born, and then they treated me with worse unkindness."
520 
"THE CHAMPION OF POLYGAMY.!"
"Who do you mean by t,ey?" I asked.
"I mean my husband and his wife," she replied; "They
did not seem to look upon me as a wife at all, and, even in the
coldest mornings and immediately after my child was born,
they used to make me get up first and light fires and prepare breakfast and begin work generally, and I was only too
glad if I escaped with a little fault-finding. I stood it as
long as I could, because Brother Brigham had counselled
me to do so; but now I have left them again and do not
mean to return." This was the story of one poor girl's
troubles.
Now the man who did this is a good Mormon in good
standing in the Church  to-day.   He  is employed by the
authorities and his poor young wife is now working for the
Gentiles-a much happier woman, if her face speaks truly,
since her separation, although she has to support herself and
child. She, like hundreds of other young girls, came to Utah
without friend or relative, and this is how a good brother
"took care" of her.
But I must be permitted to relate a still more painful story
-the story of a poor innocent girl allured from her happy
home in England by one of the most distinguished of the
Mormon Apostles; brought over by him to Utah as his wife,
and there suffered to die in misery and neglect.
The Apostle Orson Pratt, who is called among the Saints
"The Champion of Polygamy,"-a man who has devoted his
life to Mormonism, and whose writings have done more than
the labors of all the other Apostles to win converts to Polygamy; a man who on more than one occasion has boldly stood
up against many of the absurdities and blasphemies of Brigham Young; a man upon whom, on account of his independence, Brigham has frowned, and who has consequently never
attained to the wealth of his more obsequious brethren; a
man who in all the ordinary affairs of life would command the
respect of every one around him.-This was the man who perpetrated the atrocious villainy which I am about to relate;
and much against my own personal inclinations I feel corn
52I 
DESTITUTE AND FORSAKEN.
pelled to tell the story, as it shows how shockingly this
debasing system can pervert an otherwise upright mind.
Orson Pratt married the young girl of whom I speak, in
Liverpool, by special dispensation from Brigham Young, and
her  parents-themselves  devout  Mormons-thought  that
their daughter was highly honored in becoming the wife of an
Apostle. She was very pretty and attractive, and for a time
he paid great attention to her, and brought her over to Utah
as his bride. Arrived there he utterly neglected her, and she
experienced all the horrors of polygamic life.
The Apostle was living in Salt Lake City. He had left his
young wife and her children ini Tooele-a place about forty
miles distant. There they lived in a wretched little log-cabin,
the young mother supporting her little ones as best she could.
When her last child was born she was suffering all the miseries of poverty, dependent entirely upon the charity of her
neighbors. At the time when most she needed the gentle
sympathy of her husband's love that husband never came to
see her.
One morning there was literally nothing in the house for
herself and her children, who, knowing nothing of their
mother's sufferings, cried to her for bread. 
The poor mother quieted them with a promise that they
should soon have something to eat, and then she went and
begged a few potatoes from a neighbor; and upon these they
subsisted for three days. She then took her children with
her, for they were too young to be left alone-her babe was
only three weeks old-and she went round to see if she could
get work of any kind to do. In this she was not successful;
and at length, worn out by continual anxiety and privation,
and heart-broken by the neglect which she had experienced,
she sank beneath a fever which promised very soon to prove
fatal.
For some time the neighbors nursed her; but they, of
course, had their own families to attend to, and could not give
her quite all their time, and thus occasionally she was left
alone. One evening, when such was the case, she got up in a
b22 
THE "PHILOSOPHER" AND HIS DYING WIFE.
state of delirium, and barefooted, and almost destitute of
clothing, took her children, and wandered forth with them
into the snow. The good people of Tooele went out over the
prairie, anxious to find and bring back the poor maniac, but
for a long time their search was in vain. At last, not knowing whither she went, she wandered to the house of Brother
Eli B. Kelsey-a "vile apostate" as Brigham Young would
call him; but known to every one else, Saint, Apostate, or
Gentile, as one of the best and kindest-hearted men that ever
lived. In Brother Kelsey's house, she and her little ones were
kindly received by him and his good wife-from whose lips I
first heard this painful story-and their wants attended to.
They were clothed and fed, and were then carried back to the
log-cabin which they called their home.
Next day the Mormon Bishop of Tooele assembled the
people, and money was collected and sent to Salt Lake City,
to Orson Pratt, begging him to come immediately, if he wished
to see his wife alive. But the Apostle did not come. At
that time he was actually engaged in taking another bride,
and he wanted to hear nothing of his dying wife.
Then the good Bishop sent a young man, who rode all
night, to compel him immediately to take the coach for
Tooele-the young man paying his fare so that he might
have no excuse. Then, at last, he came.
Arrived at the little town where his poor wife lay dying,
Orson conducted himself like the philosopher he professes to
be. Before him stood the hovel, within which were his
deserted little ones-wailing, as if sensible of the great loss
of a mother's care which they would soon have to sustain;and there, on her dying bed, was that poor wife and mother
tossing in wild delirium. But he, the cause of all that woe,
passed by that wretched hovel and its death-scene to the comfortable home of a well-to-do brother, at whose house he first
obtained his supper, and then calmly returning, entered the
place where his wife was lying, and for a moment surveyed
the scene. Then he quietly remarked to one of the sisters
present: "She has a good deal of fever." 
"TOO LATE!"
Another sister who stood by, impulsively exclaimed, "Good
God!-Brother Pratt, this is more than fever-she is dying."
"Oh dear, no, sister;" he calmly replied, "she will recover."
It was evident, however, to all but Orson that his wife was
dying, and that no earthly power could save her.
The next day she was still raving, and it was told me that
in her wild frenzy she even attempted to strangle her babe.
Orson essayed to hold her, but she caught his gold chain and
snapped it in two. His touch and the sight of the chain recalled
her for a moment to her senses, and she said reproachfully
"You are puffed up with pride, Orson, with your gold chain
and rings, while you leave me and my babes to starve. Poor
little lambs! where are they?"
For a moment the yearning of a mother's heart for her
children conquered the fever that tortured her mind, and she
listened to her husband's attempted words of comfort, as he
said, "I am with you now Eliza, and I will take care of you."
Steadily, for a moment, she looked up into his face, and, with
tears in her eyes, said mournfully: "It is too late, Orson-It is
too late!"
These were the last sane words which she uttered in this
life, although she still lingered on insensible.        "
The next morning, the Apostle Pratt resolved to leave for
Salt Lake City and his young bride. The Bishop, however,
called a council and summoned him to remain until his wife
was dead.  Nevertheless he did not wish to stay, and, being
an Apostle, he overruled the council. At the last moment
before his intended departure, one of the sisters said:'-Brother
Pratt, should she die, what shall we do with her?"
"Oh, she won't die," he replied.
"But should she," the sister urged.
"Then bury her with her children," he answered.
After much solicitation, he was prevailed upon to remain for
a few hours, and the next morning his wife died. The language of her last moments, as she raved and tossed in mad
delirium, showed how terrible had been her mental agony, and
how much she had suffered from this frightful system.
524  
o 
A MODEL HUSBAND.
But one might easily fill a large volume with stories quite
as cruel as this. It is simply absurd to expect that it should
be otherwise. Men and women can train and discipline their
minds, they can crush out the affections of their hearts if they
will; but no effort of man can change man's nature entirely
or root out altogether humanity from the soul. Women may
endure, as that poor woman did whose story I have just related,
but they never can get perfectly adapted to the system of
"Celestial Marriage." The nearer they approach to its requirements, the further they recede from all that is held good and
noble in womanhood, and as for the men, they are brutalised
by every effort which they make to conform with it.
During the summer, about three years ago, a young-looking
woman, very shabbily dressed, came frequently to my house
with heavy baskets of fruit which she entreated me to buy.
One day she said: "You do not remember me, Sister Stenhouse, I think, and I do not wonder for I am so changed. I
have to work very hard now, for all I have to live upon is what
I can make by selling fruit, or any little work that I can get
my neighbors to give me to do; and if my husband could prevent even that I believe he would. I am obliged to gather
my fruit at night and hide it from him, and that is why*I
urged you so to buy, for I never know when I may meet
him."
I was very much surprised at this, as her husband, I knew,
was getting a good salary, and appeared to be a most gentlemanly man. His first wife, I was aware, had left him-it was
said, on account of cruelty and neglect-and he had married
this one just after her arrival from England. I had every
reason to believe that she had been a good wife to him, and a
mother to his motherless children; but he had taken another
wife since he married her and had cruelly neglected this poor
woman, leaving her his first wife's children to take care of.
She said that he was again paying his addresses to another still,
and she expected that he would soon marry her. And yet
this woman [his second wife] told me that all he had left for
her and the children to live upon was a sack of bran and
32
527 
A REASON FOR WHIPPING A WIFE.
about fifty pounds of corn meal. Everything else had been
taken to the third wife, even to the best articles of furniture.
She said: "One evening I had been sitting in the porch in
my rocking-chair, when he came in and remained about an
hour. As soon as he left, I went out to bring in the chair,
and was just in time to see him carrying it off;-I knew where
he was going with it." I saw this poor woman frequently, and
bought her fruit often when I did not need it, for it grieved
me to see her carrying such heavy loads in her then delicate
situation. After a time I lost sight of her, and then I heard
that she was dead.  One day her own daughter,-for she was
a widow when she married this man,-came to me before
leaving the city. "I am going away to some friends," she
said, "for I will never live near that man-he killed my
mother; he kicked her so severely that she never recovered,
and when her child was born, they both died from the effects
of the blows which she had received-and I hate him."
Nothing was ever done to this man- his wife was his own
property. He is still regarded as a good Mormon; and when
he went to Washington, about two years ago. he took with
him letters of recommendation from the leading men in the
Church, and the Washington papers spoke of him as' being a
very gentlemanly and intelligent man. I would give his name,
but that I hardly think it would be fair to single him out from
his brethren, of so many of whom I could tell just as shameful stories. My Mormon friends, however, will know very well
of whom I speak.
Another first wife of one of the Mormon authorities told
me how her husband whipped her because she would not
consent to his stripping tcheir home of everything that was
either useful or handsome in order to furnish a house for his
second wife. Finally he shut her up while he took her entire
parlor furniture away. She was a fragile little woman and
perfectly helpless when in the power of a strong man, and
therefore was forced to submit, as there was no appeal to law
in Utah.
It is a very difficult thing for a woman after listening, day
528 
"HE COULD JUST AS WELL MARRY HIMSELF!"
after day, to such tales of woe and misery, and knowing them
to be true, to retain much respect for a polygamist, whoever
he may be. For my own part I regard them all with such
feelings of loathing- for I cannot forget my own sufferings
that I can hardly speak civilly of them, and would prefer never
to speak to them.  I know scores of ladies-married ladiesMormon ladies, who in secret feel and speak just as I do upon
this subject.
For many years past, the American Elders have derived a
rich harvest from Britain, and Scandinavia. After the introduction of Polygamy, an Elder was seldom known to return
from mission without bringing with him one, two, and sometimes three young girls, or else arranging in some way for
their emigration. The Missionaries, however, preferred, whenever it was possible, to bring the girls with them, for if they
trusted them to the care of a brother returning before or after,
he very frequently turned traitor, and carried off the prize
himself.
The Elders were not permitted to marry these extra wives
while on, or returning from, a mission, unless they had special
permission from Brigham Young. But quite a number of the
poor weak brethren were so impulsive and so anxious to be
married, that they could not wait for the ceremonies of the
Endowment House. One conscientious Swiss brother, named
Loba, who could find no one willing to take the responsibility
of marrying him while crossing the Plains, said that as he was
an Elder he could just as well marry himself, and be under no
obligation to anybody; and he did so. He had fallen in love
with a little miss-a mere child, about one quarter of his own
age.
Many men have married wives, and have brought them
home, before their first wives knew even that they were in
love. They had not had courage to introduce the subject, but
believed that when the wife found that it was done and could
not be undone, she would see the uselessness of feeling badly,
and would soon get over it. But no wife who has been thus
treated ever did ".get over it." What can a man know of
529 
KEEPING "COVENANTS."
woman's nature who would dare to act thus towards her, and
think that she would become reconciled to such treatment?
What strange ideas the Mormon men must have of woman's
nature if they believe that women can submit to such treatment as this and still love them! What folly to think even
of love! Can they not discover, if by nothing else, by the
changed. manner, the almost cold indifference, of those who
were once gushing over with affection, whose winning and
endearing ways captivated their hearts-that somnethiiig must
be wrong-that love has ceased to exist in the hearts of their
wives, and that a cold, stern sense of duty and religious obligation has taken its place?
It would be very wrong for me to say that there are no men
who try to be just in the practice of Polygamy, for I know
many who try their very best to act impartially to all their
wives, but this is not really the result of their religion about
which some of these men appear to care very little. I feel
sure that if they are good men, notwithstanding the evil
effects of Mormonism upon them, they would have been much
better men without it.
On the other hand, I have known men who, befoge they
became Mormons, were reputed good husbands and fathers,
but who afterwards became cold and harsh in their natures,
cruel to their wives, and neglectful to their children,-it
seemed as if they thought of nothing else but courting the girls
and taking more wives, altogether regardless as to whether
they could support them or not.
Some of the Elders, finding that they might not marry
plural wives before they reached Utah, have bound the foreign
girls by solemn vows and covenants to marry them when they
arrived in Salt Lake Valley; and the poor girls, believing,
that because these men were Missionaries, all they said and
did mtust be right, have often-in fact, in almost every
instance-to their own great injury, kept their "covenants"
and married the men to whom they were vowed. I have
known personally and intimately several sisters who have in
this way ruined their prospects and blighted the hopes c,f
530 
" PARTICULAR FRIENDS."
their whole lives, and sadder stories than theirs could not be
told.
My husband had again left Salt Lake City, and had gone to
"the States,"-as we then called "going East;" for it was
such a long journey that we felt ourselves altogether out of
the pale of civilisation. I felt, therefore, comparatively free; for
I could now, whenever I desired to do so, walk out, or visit a
friend, without the constant dread of meeting him and his
wife. It always humiliated me to see them together, although
I believed that it was perfectly right that my husband should
show attentions to his other wife. It was not now jealousy
that I felt-the day of jealous feeling was long past;-I felt
disgusted, and I was humbled at the sight of them. At one
time, for nearly six months I remained at home, never going
further than my own garden,-simply for the reason that I
feared to meet her in the presence of any of my friendsparticularly any of my Gentile friends; or worse still, with
him. I felt sure that, had we met, I should have tried to
avoid them or have passed them by unnoticed, which would,
of course, have been an insult, and would have caused remarks from strangers, and ill feeling, which, of all things, I
felt most anxious to avoid.
There is no privacy in a polygamic family where the wives
live together, and very little indeed when they live in separate houses; for each wife finds pleasure in telling all the
little weaknesses of the other wives to her own " particular
friends,"-and those "particular friends," in turn tell their
particular friends" until in due course it becomes known to
some kind-hearted busybody who considers it her duty to go
to the wife whose foibles have thus been bandied about from
one to the other, and tell her "how shamefully she has been
slandered." Then it is the poor husband's turn to hear the
whole burden of trouble,-never, of course, exaggerated in the
least,-and he is expected to make peace, if he can, among his
numerous wives.
Perhaps all this fuss has been caused by the husband
531 
A HUSBAND IN TROUBLE.
himself-he never intending it, all the time. Not unlikely he
gave a new dress or some article of wearing apparel to one
wife or her children, and the others have noticed it. It may
be that, perhaps, he did not think that the others needed it,
and probably they did not; but that does not matter in the
least. Jealous wives do not stop to consider such a trifle as
that. The poor man is told that he must be just and fair to
all, and when he gives a dress to one, he must give dresses to
the others also, whether he can afford it and they need it, or
not.
These wives are lynx-eyed, and each one notices every
article of clothing that the others wear; and, no matter how
economical one wife may be, or how extravagant another, the
careful one must never look better dressed than her less
saving rival, or the husband will certainly be blamed for
favoritism.
After living in Polygamy and observing all these things, I
came to the conclusion that the men who tried to act justly
were, after all, greatly to be pitied; and I had no doubt in my
mind that many of them would only be too happy to be monogamic husbands once again. At one time I believed this of
my own husband.  He appeared to be annoyed when   duty"
compelled him to leave my home and family circle, and go to
his other "home." I half fancied that he had at last come
to think that Polygamy was a most unnatural condition
of affairs, and that he would be very glad if it were not
compulsory. Of course, I drew my own conclusions, but I
by and by tound that they were somewhat premature.
I had supposed that, possibly, his young wife was not so
attractive to him now as she had been; and this I must
confess, did not grieve me very much. But, notwithstanding
all that, so great had been my fanaticism, that I had still remaining sufficient faith in the unholy practice to make me
feel that if we expected ever to get a blessing from heaven
through compliance with the "celestial" command, it was necessary that my husband should be just to his other wife and
treat her kindly and considerately.
532 
K IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF BROTHER BRIGHAM."
As I said before, from the moment when he first selected
another wife, his society lost every charm for me, and therefore I was not so very generous, after all, when I urged him
to spend as much time as he possibly could with Belinda. I
felt that if I had lost everything in this life for Polygamy; and
if Polygamy, after all, by any chance, might turn out true; I
might as well strive to get a little glory in the next world.
But, after all, it was but a poor soulless attempt, and so miserable did I feel that I frequently wished that I could be completely annihilated after death.
My husband's cares were also increasing, for his young wife
had already presented him with three daughters. I presume,
if at any time she was cross at his long absences, the children
were influenced by her spirit, and when my husband did visit
her, his reception was probably either too warm or too cool,
and, in any case, more lively than suited his quiet tastes. He
assured me that he never spoke an unkind word to her, but
would listen to all she had to say in a meek and quiet spiri4
feeling all the time that she was young and inexperienced.
This no doubt was all very well, but what woman can bear to
see a man listening quietly to all she has to say, when
she herself is in anything but a calm state of mind? We like
men to feel what we say.
I have known many husbands in Polygamy who made it a
practice not to say anything to their wives when they were recounting their wrongs, but preferred to get up and leave without a word-showing them no sympathy whatever, but teaching them, with all that cold indifference which in time chills
the most loving heart and silences the voice of affection for
ever, what their position really was.
I have also heard husbands say: "I provide my wife with
all she needs or can wish for, and surely she cannot suppose
that I will allow her or any other woman to dictate to me as
to what I shall do with myself or how I shall spend my time.
I shall follow in the footsteps of Brother Brigham, and go
where I please, and stay as long as I please, and come back
when it suits me."
533 
INCOMPATIBILITY.
The Mormon men are very much to blame in this respect.
They take young innocent girls from the warm and happy
influence of home, and after a few brief weeks of devotion,
they leave them in the cold atmosphere of the world, to battle
single-handed with new cares and new duties, to bear sickness and solitude with what courage they may, and thus, disconsolate and alone, go their way into the tangled mazes of
life. This the Mormon husbands do, without a thought of
the solemn vows they break and the heavy responsibilities
which they evade; for they never for one moment reflect,
that if there is incompatibility, it results in most instances
from the fact that they have acted worse than foolishly in
choosing girls so young and inexperienced that they could not
possibly be fit companions for men who might in point of age
have been their fathers, and even then have had a very faii
margin of years to spare.
534 
CHAPTER XXXVIII.
"OUR" HUSBAND'S FI,4ACEE-A SECOND WIFE'S SORROWS                STEPS TOWARDS APOSTACY.
A  Little Misapprehension-My Husband's Kingdom-The chosen Maiden The Prophet's daughter, Zina-Reviewing a Lady-Love-A Strange Consulta tion-The Accepted Lover-Love of no ordinary Kind-" Something very
Beautiful "-" He never loved Before "-Progressive Affection-Why Zina
pitied Us-" Our Husband!"-Sorrows of a Second Wife: Belinda in
Trouble-A  Pleasant  "Duty! "-The Flirting in the Prophet's Parlor Wavering Faith-The "Revelation" Criticised-Homceopathic Religion-The
Book of Mormon condemns Polygamy!-A very Questionable "Prophet" Belinda's Bereavement-Accused of Favoring the Gentiles-Lover's Quarrels
-A  Long Courtship-" If one girl wont, another will! "-Steps towards
Apostacy.
T one time, as I have already stated, I had almost begun
to think that my husband had seen enough of the discomforts and heartlessness of polygamic life, and that his eyes
were looking back wishfully to the time when, as the old Scotch
ballad says:
"One loving heart was all his own,
But there as king he reigned supreme."
My faith in my own acuteness and perception was, however,
very considerably shaken when one day he told me that he
thought it was about time for him to think of taking another
wife. I suppose he expected that I should express some astonishment or offer objections, for he proceeded to give me 
QUITE A DISTINGUISHED YOUNG LADY!
excellent reasons for what he was about to do. —His greatly
improved circumstances; his desire to sustain his brethren;
and, above all, the necessity that he should "build up a kingdom!"
There was no gainsaying all this. The Lord had certainly
very greatly blessed him in basket and in store; it was, moreover, praiseworthy in him to wish to sustain his brethren; and
nobody could deny that he ought to have a "kingdom!"  To
crown all, the young lady whom he proposed to honor this
time could not possibly be objected to by any loyal Saint, for
she was of the seed royal of the modern Israel-a daughter
of the high-priestly house of Brigham Young!
I suppose, if I had been a right-minded woman, I should
have felt the great glory that there was in this proposed alliance.
But, in point of fact, such is the perversity of human nature,
I did not feel at all pleased, although I could say nothing in
objection. I had had some slight suspicion that my husband's
eyes, to say nothing of his heart, had lately been inclined to
wander in a certain direction, for he had become so particularly
regular in his attendance at the theatre. I mentioned the
matter to him once or twice, but he answered, that as an editor it was a matter of necessity for him to attend, and that he
ought to be there always. This I might, perhaps, have believed,
had it not been that it was now several years since his paper
was first established, and hitherto his personal attendance at
every representation had not been considered absolutely indispensable-reporters had been able to do all that was necessary.
His proposal to marry this young lady, now it was openly
stated, shed light upon many things which had before appeared
to me rather obscure. Her name was Zina, and she was the
daughter of Mrs. Zina D. Huntington Jacobs, whom I have
already mentioned as one of the Prophet's wives. She was
one of the actresses in the theatre-for many of Brigham's
daughters at that time took part in the representations-and I
had frequently observed very pretty little notices of her in the
Salt Lake Daily Telcegrapph. Sometimes it had occurred to me
that these notices were not quite merited, for other actresses
536 
A CURIOUS CONSULTATION.
in the same play had really appeared more proficient; but that,
of course, was only my own private opinion. Somehow or
other, my husband's opinion seemed always to clash with mine
whenever there was a lady in the question; and in this case I
had again and again differed from him in opinion concerning
this same young lady, long before I suspected that he had a
more than friendly interest in her.
Strange as it would have appeared to any one unused to the
ways and works of Mormon Polygamy, my husband consulted
me about the matter; and it was agreed that he should propose to the lady in question. I offered little objection, except
mentioning that I thought he would have quite as well fulfilled
the commands of God if he had taken an older and plainerlooking wife. These things are generally fully determined
before any mention of the matter is made to the first wife, and
opposition on her part is seldom of any avail. Besides which,
I did not much care now how many wives my husband took,he might as well have twenty, as the one too many which he
already had,-his marriage to another could not possibly make
me feel any worse, provided I was not compelled to associate
with her. I had resolved that I would never live on familiar
terms with his other wives —not because I might disrespect
or dislike them personally, but because I could not overcome
the purer and better teachings of my early life.
My husband in due form proposed, and was accepted; and
it was soon rumored abroad that he was going to marry one of
the "President's" daughters,-Brigham is always spoken of as
"President" Young among the Saints.  In the course of a
day or two they were formally "engaged," and a more loving
couple could not possibly have been found. The young lady
herself afterwards told me that their love was of no ordinary
kind; and I'm sure I did not doubt her word. But consider
how pleasant such intelligence must have been to a wife!
Zina's friends who wished to cheer me up and make me
happy, told me that my husband's love for her was perfectly
engrossing, they "thought he could never have really loved before"-there was something very beautiful in their loves!"  I
537 
"HE NEVER REALLY LOVED BEFORE!"
need hardly say that I saw these things in quite another light.
Of course, when I saw the letters which were constantly passing to and fro,-brought to my house by persons who evidently
knew they were bearers of missives of love,-and when I
witnessed their effect upon my husband, and saw such anxiety
evinced that I should not see them, I did not for a moment
doubt their affectionate devotion to each other, but I must admit that to me there was very little "beauty" in it.
The young lady, I believe, regarded my husband's second
wife and myself with a great deal of sympathy; for she thought
that, however affectionate he might have been to us, she was
his first real love. It is a most astonishing fact, that if a
Mormon man has ten, fifteen, or even twenty wives, he will be
certain, when courting the twenty-first, to make her believe
that "he never really loved before;" and then, if afterwards
he took a twenty-second, you may be quite sure that she too
would be persuaded, or would persuade herself, into a belief in
the very same statement. With the last wife, it is always an
article of faith that she is the husband's first and only love.
It is a curious question:-If a man of many wives starts with
as much love for his first wife as ordinary one-wifed men have
for theirs, and goes on increasing his love with each azdditional
wife, so that he can always say to the last that "he never really
loved before;" how much love will he have when he gets to
the tenth or the twentieth? At that rate, Brigham, who in
the course of his life has had-say, thirty wives, must have a
"30-love" power of affection for the last. The extent of his
devotion must be something utterly astounding; by this time
the old man must be a perfect Vesuvius of love!
Zina pitied us, I know, when she realised that we could never
know the great depth of our husband's love for her. She
spoke and acted as if this were how she felt; and I have no
doubt that she intended, after her marriage with our husband,
to treat us with great kindness and consideration, as a sort of
recompense for what we never had truly known, and never could
know now-outr husband's love! This was very kind, certainly,
but I fear it was not at all appreciated by Belinda or myself.
538 
MISS ZINA' S OPINION.
As is almost always the case when the husband takes a third
wife, a better state of feeling was brought about between my
own husband's second wife and myself. Belinda no longer
centred all her jealousy in me, and I, of course, had to divide
mine. She now, to a certain extent, began to realise what I
had suffered when my husband courted her; she felt badly,
and I really did sympathise with her when I remembered how
young she was and that she was the mother of three little
children. She had her moiety of a husband, it is true; but,
like all other polygamic wives, that was her misfortune rather
than her comfort or strength. Many a wife would be happier
were she a widow; in fact, widows are the happiest class of
women in Utah, for they realise that it is far better to have a
dead sorrow than a living one.
Now, our husband always maintained that he was not in
love with Miss Zina, but that in making love to her he was
acting entirely from principle. So all the brethren say; and I
have never yet heard of any one of them ever confessingexcept, of course, to the maiden herself-that he was in love.
To the maiden herself he says, not only that, but a great deal
more. But if our husband, at the time of which I speak, was
not in love, the saints forbid that I should ever see him in tihat
condition! I am sure when I heard his fiancee speaking of
their devotion to each other, and of the fond attachment of
her heart to him (for she felt no delicacy in speaking to mehis wife-about such matters,) I came to the conclusion that
I had never known what it was to really love, and that my
nature was too crude and unrefined to understand the mysteries
of the tender passion. There was no love in the case, our
husband repeatedly told us-all pure duty!-There are some
men, especially among the Mormons, and at certain times, who
find this kind of "duty" quite a pleasure.
Long courtships had become quite fashionable among the
brethren in Salt Lake City, and I dreaded a long courtship
more than anything else, for there is so much that is humilia ting, and I might even say disgusting, to a wife when her hus band is engaged in love-making to another woman, that I
539 
NOT THE ONLY ONE.
hoped, as much as possible, to be spared passing through such
an ordeal a second time.
As the accepted lover and affianced husband of Brother
Brigham's daughter, ozir husband was, of course, constantly in
attendance at the Prophet's house. But he was not the only
good brother who spent his evenings in Brigham Young's
parlor; for it was then-and I suppose it is to-day-a regular
rendezvous for middle-aged and young men, and even boys;
and there the Prophet's little girls, as well as those who were
grown or growing up, obtained an excellent training in the
art of flirting and courting.
It has always been said among the Saints that Brigham's
girls and the daughters of Daniel H. Wells were the boldest
and least retiring maidens to be found in Salt Lake City, and
that they presumed greatly upon their imaginary high position; which position nobody but themselves cared anything
about. It is well known that the very people upon whom
they look down are those who rightly should receive their
warmest gratitude and respect, on account of the more than
liberal support which they have given to their father, even to
the detriment of their own children. But too much must not
be expected of young girls brought up in Polygamy.
When first I heard that my husband had set his affections
upon one of these girls, I felt convinced that he could not
have made a very wise choice. Men are never very wise in
such matters, but when they are influenced by the peculiar
motives which actuate the Mormon men they become doubly
silly; and I could not help dreading that the mere fact of
my husband having selected a daughter of the Prophet as his
future wife would bring trouble upon us all.  What shape that
trouble would take, I could form no conjecture, but I felt
sure that a change of some sort was fast approaching. My
faith was almost gone-I felt the degrading position in which
the "Celestial" system placed me  and my children, and it
seemed to me that I could no longer endure it. My children
I could not, and would not, leave, but it was impossible for me
to continue to live as I had been living-nor would I think of
540 
" SIMILIA SIMIILIBUS CURANTU.R. 
bringing up my children any longer to believe and live a reli gion which had so cruelly blighted all my own life. It was for
them that I feared now,-I felt that for their sake I must
break away from this horrible system.
My own life, I thought, was not worth caring for, but the
idea of my little girls growing up and following in my
footsteps and enduring as I had endured, was more than I
could bear. Something must be done to save them from
such a fate.
About this time I procured a copy of the "Revelation on
Celestial Marriage," and read it through carefully and calmly,
from beginning to end. The reader may, perhaps, remember
that when a copy of it was first given to me, in Switzerland, years before, I was so angry and indignant that when
I had got only partly through it I cast it from me in disgust
as an outrage upon all that was good and true. From that
time, although I had heard portions of it quoted and read, I
had never perused it as a whole. On two occasions, at least,
my friend Mary Burton was very near reading it through with
me, and had we done so, I have not the slightest doubt that
my eyes would have been opened to the absurdity and wickedness of the whole system, and years of wretchedness would
have been spared me.
Such, however, was not the case. It was not until I had
almost drained the cup of sorrow and degradation that, at last,
I found an antidote in the deadly thing itself which had been
the source of all my unhappiness. I was acting upon the
homoeopathic principle-"simnilia siinilibus cziraiz/ur,"-and
using a dose of poison to cure a disease caused by that
poison;-but if the reader has perused the "Revelation" I
think he will admit that it was a pretty big dose for any
woman to swallow.
As I read, I saw plainly from tle wordinig of the dociment that if ever it was given to Joseph Smith-no matter by
whom, it was given long after he had practziced Polygamy-or
something as bad-and to sanction what he had already done.
I had read in the Book of Mormon:
541 
WHAT THE BOOK OF MORMON SAYS.
"David and Solomon truly had many wives and concubines, whickh tling-was
ant abomination before me saiMh the Lord......  Hearken to the Word
of the Lord: for there shall not any man among you have, save it be one wife;
and concubines he shall have none."  [Book of i.ormonz, p.  I8.]
In the Book of the Covenants, given through Joseph Smith,
and held sacred by every Saint, I had read:
"Thou shalt love thy wzfe with all thy heart, and cleave unto her and none
else." [Book of Covenants, p. 124.]
And yet when I turned to the "Revelation" I found in
the very first clause:
Verily, thus saith the Lord unto my servant Joseph, that inasmuch as you
have enquired at my hand, to know and understand wherein I, the Lord,
JUSTIFIED [!] my servants Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, as also Moses, David
and Solomon, my servants, as touching the principle and doctrine of their
having many wives and concubines," &c.
What could I possibly think of a "Prophet" who, after
having the law laid down so clearly, and being told so distinctly that the doings of David and Solomon were an "abomination," and that a man should have but one wife, should
enquire of the Lord how he "jstified" the  very things which
He had just declared were "an abomination" unto him?Then, too, what blasphemy to represent God  as one day
giving a "Revelation" declaring a thing sinful, and the next
day "justifying" it!  I felt perfectly humiliated with myself
that I had never before had the courage to look the matter
calmly in the face and discover, as I must have discovered,
had I only used my unaided reason, the shameful imposture
which had been palmed upon us. I now made careful enquiry, and it was soon clear to me that evidence was not
wanting to prove that the doctrine of plural marriages originated in the licentious hearts of Joseph Smith and those associated with him. When once I was convinced of that, the
whole fabric of my religion crumbled before my eyes; and
from that time I can hardly say that I had faith in anything
that had been taught me.
My husband's second wife was also very unhappy now.
She, too, after the general rule, had flattered herself that size
542 
BELINDA' S CHILD.
was "his first and only love," and it was not pleasant to have
her dream of happiness dispelled; but now that another
"jewel" was to be added to our husband's crown she could no
longer deceive herself. She little knew, poor girl, when she
married, that a Mormon's heart is like a honeycombthere is always a vacant'cell wherein another may nestle.
Real trouble, too, she had.-One of her children was taken
very sick, and after a severe illness died. I remained with her
night and day, and did what I could for the poor child. Had
it been possible for me to have felt a greater loathing and
detestation for that vile system of Polygamy, that feeling
would have been conceived while I watched at the bed-side of
my husband's dying child. It was there that I vowed that no
Polygamist should ever marry another daughter of mine, and
resolved that to my dying day my voice should be raised
against the unholy and unnatural teachings of the Mormon
Priesthood. I looked at that lonely young mother, who in her
hour of trial ought to have had all her husband's sympathy,
all his attention, to support her; but who, instead, knew that,
however kind he might be to her, he was contemplating a new
marriage, and his thoughts must of necessity be more or less
with his purposed bride. All unkind feeling was banished
from my heart-I forgot that she was my husband's wife,
and remembered only that, like myself, she was a suffering
woman, a victim to a false faith; and I felt very deeply for
her in her time of sorrow and bereavement.
My husband, at this time, had been a member of the Mormon Church for twenty-five years. He had lectured, preached,
written and published, in Great Britain, Switzerland, and the
United States, in support of the Mormon faith. He had been
a most earnest and consistent member of the Church, and
devotedly attached to Brigham Young. This attachment to
Brother Brigham he shared in common with all the staunchest
of his brethren; for while the members of the Church retain
unshaken confidence in the new revelation, they naturally
acquire a great regard for the Prophet, and render him un              33'
543 
SOME SERIOUS CONSIDERATIONS.
questioning obedience. I believe that my husband would
willingly have laid down his life, if by so doing he could have
shielded Brigham Young from harm or have been of essential
service to him.
But causes were now in operation which, by and by, detached him from the Church, and made it possible for me also
to leave the Mormon faith. Hitherto, for my children's sake,
I dared not leave the Church without my husband, and I
therefore anxiously watched for anything which might rescue
him from the bondage in which he was held.
As proprietor of a daily paper, his business had frequently
called him to the Eastern States for several months at a time,
and I observed that after those visits his editorials took a
more liberal turn. My Mormon friends frequently said to me,
"Brother Stenhouse is doing himself no good by his constant
association with the Gentiles;" and subsequently, when we did
apostatise, our secession from the Church was attributed to
contaminating Gentile influences.
Then, too, we had frequent visits from strangers passing
through Salt Lake City. I saw, with pleasure, that this intercourse with the outside world was gradually undermining my
husband's confidence in the teachings of the Elder, and it
gave me courage to hope that, after all, the day of liberty
might dawn at last. Feeling as I did thus, it will not surprise
the reader that I regarded with more and more distrust the
proposed marriage of my husband to Brother Brigham's
daughter; for I felt that then he would be deeper than ever in
the toils of the Priesthood, and I sometimes almost believed that
it was my duty to use every influence in my power to prevent it.
Putting my own feelings out of the question, it is probable that I might have done this simply for his own good;
for I doubted not that some day the scales must fall from
his eyes, and then he would be thankful that I had prevented
the marriage. Our paths by this time had certainly diverged
far asunder, and my husband had another wife and family;
but I believed that he was sincere, though sadly mistaken,
or I should not have felt so kindly towards him as I did.
544 
LOVERS' QUARRELS.
At other times, and observing his devotion, I almost myself
began to think that perhaps the nonsense that I had heard
was, after all, true, and that this girl was the only one he had
really loved; and, if so, of course he ought to marry her. In
fact, so divided was my attention that I hardly knew what to
think; I therefore resolved to act according to circumstances.
Brigham Young, in one of his sermons, says that: "The
first thing manifested in the case of apostacy was the idea
that the Prophet was liable to make a mistake: when a man
believes that, he has taken the first step towards apostacy; he
need only take one step more, and he is out of the Church."
This was spoken of Joseph and his Saints, but it suits just as
well Brigham and his: I knew very well that my husband had
taken the first step, and I sincerely hoped that he might soon
take the second. For my own part, I had for some time, not
only believed that a Prophet inig,t be mistaken, but, as Brother
Heber would say, I knew it.
My husband and his bride elect, like all other lovers, had
frequent little quarrels-I suppose for the purpose of making
up again, and being then all the more ardent in their affection.
But they now had a disagreement which lasted longer than all
that had gone before; although I suppose that neither of t'fem
had, at that time, the slightest idea how it was going to end.
They had been courting for fifteen months at least, and after
so much devotion on the part of my husband, and so much
fervent affection on the part of the young lady, it really did
seem too bad that so large an amount of love should be thrown
away. It was hard that after such a long strain upon their
religious and devotional feelings-for they were both very
pious lovers —all their labor of love should come to nought.
Things had certainly taken a twist, for I know well enough
that at one time they both firmly believed that their marriage
was preordained in heaven, and that they were as completely
one in feeling as mortals ever could be. The mother, too, who
was a very pious woman, once told my husband that she had
had a vision in which it was revealed to her that they were
destined for each other in the eternal worlds:- the lovers of
545 
( IF ONE WON'T, ANOTHER WILL!"
course firmly believed her. But, for all that, the estrangement still continued, and my husband was constantly making
it wider by the articles which appeared in his paper, until at
last certain of the sisters whispered that the heart of the lady
had been attracted towards some brighter luminary.
Long courtships often end disastrously; but when I heard
rumors of the lady's presumed faithlessness, it seemed to me
hardly fair, for the day had been fixed for the marriage and
the wedding-dress actually made. Of course I sympathised
with my husband. -Would any wife like to see her husband
disappointed in his love-affairs with another woman, I wonder?
While under these natural feelings of indignation, I one
day told Brigham Young, that I thought, after all the courting
that had been done-and it was not a trifle-they certainly
ought to be married. He said he was willing enough himself,
if they wished it; but girls, he said, often changed their minds,
and as they could have but one husband, it was only fair that
their wishes should be consulted.  "If Zina has really changed
her mind," he added, "I have plenty of other daughters, and
they have all got to be married, let him take one of them,-if
one won't, another will!" The reader will see the liberal ideas
which Brother Brigham entertains on the subject of nMarriage.
It may, perhaps, seem rather strange that I should be anxious
to have them marry; but, after all that I had seen and endured
in Polygamy, can it be wondered at that I should no longer
regard the father of my children as my own husband? Had
I thought him a bad man, or had he acted as I know
many of the good brethren do act; had he brought home girl
after girl with the hope of alluring one or more of them into
Polygamy, or had he been utterly reckless of my feelings, I
might perhaps have been able to cast him from my heart
without a single regret. But I really believed that he was
acting consistently with the teachings of his religion, and if I
felt degraded by the life I lived, it was not his fault-it was
the fault of the system. I therefore felt that if things came
to the worst,4nd if I were driven to extremities, and forced
to separate from him, I should like to know that he had a wife
546 
THEN AND NOW.
whom he loved. I felt certain that there was now but little
love between him and his second wife, and that some day a
separation was sure to take place. The idea of divorce was
so repugnant to my feelings that it was only in moments when
grief overpowered me, and my heart was wrung with anguish,
and I felt utterly reckless, that I for one moment thought of
anything like it. Even then I only entertained the idea of a
separate life-not divorce.   That last resource of the unhappy
wife was, however, spared me; and, looking back, I thank
God that in His all-wise providence He so shaped my life at
that time that my husband and myself, no longer disunited by
that disgrace to civilisation and Christianity-Polygamy-can
now rejoice together that that last step was never taken, and
that no false creed or superstition can ever again divide our
interests or our hopes.
Nevertheless, it was strange that the words of my talkative
friend should be again verified, and that a second time I should
be found persuading my husband to take another wife!
547 
CHAPTER XXXIX.
SOME CURIOUS COURTSHIPS-BRIGHIAM RUINS OUR FOR       TUNES-BELINDA DIVORCES "OUR" HUSBAND.
Some Curious Courtships —" The Nicest ole'oman in the Country!" —" Bespoke"
Wives-Marrying in Haste-A Woman with Nine Husbands-A Difficult
Question-The Autocrat of Utah-Reminding a Husband-Accused of Favor ing the Gentiles-The "Subjugation of Women "-The Daily Telegraph in
Trouble-Removing to Ogden-Brigham Young Resolves to Ruin Us-A
Crafty Prophet-The Ruin of Our Fortunes-" It Makes Me a Free Man!"
"Our" Hlusband's  Divorce-" Take Care of That Paper "-Inside the
Prophet's Office-Signing the Document-A Curious Bill of Divorce-Be linda-Forming a Resolutioni-A Sacrifice Worth Making.
THE  reader will see that, setting aside the fact that my
husband was already married, there was nothing in his
courtships to distinguish them from those of lovers among the
Gentiles.
But all courtships in Utah are not carried on in this fashion.
Some of the brethren entirely omit the love-making part, and
with them to take a new wife is simply to make a bargain.
The better the Saint, the less, as a rule, does he seem to care
about the feelings of the woman whom he makes his wife.
My husband, however, was still leavened with the fashions of
the old world and the days of his youth, and like some of the 
"THE NICEST OLE'OMAN IN THE COUNTRY!" 
other brethren of good standing in Salt Lake City, he fell into
Gentile ways instead of keeping to the true style of Mormon
courtship.
I heard of one American Elder who went to the young lady
upon whom he had fixed his choice, and without a word of
preliminary discourse of an affectionate nature, said: "I've
twenty head o' stock, fifty acres o' good land; got a good loghouse, an' thMe nicest ole'omnan inii the country! -Now, sis, will
you have me?" Whether the fair damsel was dazzled by this
alluring picture or not, I am not quite certain, but one would
suppose that she ought to have been.
Now, to balance the Yankee, it is only fair that I should
tell you of a certain Englishman who lived in Cache Valley,
about a hundred miles from Salt Lake, and who was very anxious to find a second wife. He could not get one in the place
where he lived, as the girls were all either married, or, as the
Mormons say, "bespoke;" so he came to Salt Lake City as a
last desperate resort. To the first unmarried girl to whom he
was introduced, without a moment's hesitation he proposed in
the following abrupt fashion:
"Say, sis!  My bishop told me to take a week's holiday, and
come down here and get a wife. Now, if you don't mind going
back with me, I shall start to-morrow morning."
The next morning, at seven o'clock, the young lady was to
be seen standing by the Englishman's wagon with a sunbonnet on her head and a bundle under her arm. They went to
the Endowment House, got sealed for all eternity, and started
for home. Hundreds of girls in Utah have been won "for all
eternity" with just as little trouble. They must have been
girls of rather more than average mortal intelligence, if in the
time taken to form their decision they could tell from the little
they know of the men who had proposed to them, that they
would be willing to live with them "for time;" but to make a
bargain for "eternity" with so little ground to rest upon,
certainly does seem a little rash.
The Mormons, of all people, with their peculiar notions
respecting the eternity of the marriage contract, should be
549 
a SEALED" TO NNINE HUSBANDS!
careful whom they marry. But, to tell the truth, they are the
most careless.
There is living in Utah, to-day, a woman whom I know, who
has been sealed "for all eternity" to no less than nine husbands; and if the divorces which she has obtained are, as
Brother Brigham says, not worth the paper upon which they
are written, she will be likely to have some trouble when she
meets them all in another world. I know of several others
who have been sealed to four, five, or six husbands! One of
Brigham's own sisters was the wife of several husbands after
this fashion. How all these matters can be set right it is
difficult to determine, but somebody will have work to do.
Mormonism had been, to my husband, everything. It had
for years grown with his growth, until it had become a part of
himself. Doubts had occasionally crept into his mind, it is
true, but it required time to effect a change. The measures
adopted by Brigham Young in the spring of I869, for the
purpose of controlling the commerce of Utah, as well as the
property and faith of the people, caused great discontent.
The teachings of the Tabernacle were wild and arrogant, and
Brigham assumed that it was his right to dictate in everything, "even,  he said, "to the setting up of a stocking or the
ribbons which a woman should wear." Many of the people,
when they heard these words and witnessed the fanaticism
created thereby, were aroused to opposition, but Brigham only
became more fierce in his denunciations and more harsh in
his measures.
I could plainly see that all this had the, to me, much
desired effect of alienating my husband from Mormonism, and
I never allowed an opportunity of strengthening the impression thus produced to pass unimproved. The articles in his
paper showed the condition of his mind, and brought down
upon him the wrath of Brigham. At this also I rejoiced, and
did not fail to make him feel that he ought to resent the
Prophet's interference. Brigham felt too certain of the submission of his slave, and accused Mr. Stenhouse of having
published favorable notices of Gentile stores, also of having
.550 
"TTHE SUBJUGATION OF WOMEN."
their advertisements in his paper, and otherwise aiding and
abetting the wicked Gentiles,-all which accusations my husband began to feel was an infringement upon his own private
personal rights as a citizen and a man. One circumstance
followed another, and I could plainly see that his confidence
in Brigham's inspiration was slowly but surely dwindling
away, and that the day which I had so long anxiously watched
for was breaking at last. Notwithstanding this, however,
there was one bond which still united him by no weak tie to
the Church-he was a Polygamist. The contemplated marriage between him and Brigham's daughter could, I believed,
never now take place; but even allowing that, he still had
another wife; and now that I had entirely lost faith in
Mormonism generally, and the "Celestial Order of Marriage" in
particular, I resolved that I would no longer have a partner
in my husband's affections-as if he were a "joint-stock
concern!"-I would have the whole of a husband, or none.
I had not yet, however, sufficient courage to speak to him of
my feelings.
I can imagine I see some strong-minded woman smile at
the idea of a wife wanting courage to speak to her husband.
But such women never knew what Mormonism is. Had they
been born Gentiles, they would probably never have entered
the Mormon Church; had they been born in the Church
they would have been what John Stuart Mill calls "subjugated."  John Stuart Mill considered the "Subjugation of
Women" among the Gentiles a hard thing, and he wrote a
pamphlet and "expressed his mind" about it.  But I fancy, if
he could have known the iron cruelty of Mormon Polygamy;
if he could have seen how the hearts of women are crushed
and  ground down by the  "Celestial" Order among the
Saints, until not a spark of womanhood remains in them; if
he could have seen the "Subjugation of Women" in Utah,
he would have considered their case a thousand times harder
than that of their Gentile sisters and would never have ceased
writing pamphlets or "expressing his mind."
One Sunday evening, Mr. Stenhouse, when he came home,
55I 
THE TRIAL OF OUR FAITH.
said to me: "Brother Brigham has given rme a mission; he
wishes me to go to Ogden and publish my paper there."
This was very unexpected news; but with the vividness of
lightning, a glimpse of what the Prophet intended by such
a strange proposition flashed across my mind. "He wishes
to ruin us!" I exclaimed; "You surely will not go!"
Now Brigham, of course, knew that my husband's paper
had a large circulation in Utah Territory as well as in Salt
Lake City, and that his business was in a most prosperous
condition; he knew also that to do aught that might impair
or destroy that business, would be to bring misery and
disaster upon all who were dependent upon it for their daily
bread. And yet, for all that, he told my husband to break up
his establishment, or in his own words, to "pull up root and
branch," and go to a place where the people were so miserably
poor that it was impossible to make a newspaper successful
among them.
In all this the crafty Prophet no doubt acted wisely. The
Daily Telegraph would in all probability become a power in
the Territory, and he feared that in a short time it would
emancipate itself from his control. Brother Brigham has
none of the far-seeing perception of the eagle-that'perception which has enabled great men to forecast coming events,
and thus, to a great extent, mould them when they came.
His is more the cunning, crafty eye peculiar to cats, which
are blinded when the pure light from heaven falls upon them,
but are very quick indeed to perceive the very smallest thing
which transpires in holes and dark places within their own
contracted little circle of vision. No man can be sharper or
more quick-sighted than Brigham in his own circle and within
range of his own mental powers; but his circle is limited,
and beyond it his mental powers never soared.
I do not doubt that, long before this time, he had noted
that my husband was weakening in the faith; but he had
waited for his opportunity, and now he considered that it had
come. We knew very well that this was the way in which he
had always acted towards those whom he feared or doubted:
552 
PULLING UP ROOT AND BRANCH.
-when he saw them growing weak in the faith he ruined
them, or did the best he could to that effect, before they
finally left the Church. I urged my husband to resist this
arbitrary decree on the part of the Prophet, and represented
strongly the misery wvhich would result from his failure, and
the utter impossibility of success. But I soon found that,
though he doubted Brigham, his faith in Mormonism was by
no means all gone-he, like many another, feared that in
disobeying Brigham, perhaps, after all, he might be resisting
God. He could see the wrong-doing of the Prophet, and
felt that his conduct was unworthy of one who pretended to
such great things; but he regarded this as the weakness of
the Prophet's humanity, at the same time believing that in
matters of religion he might be divinely inspired. He was
still under the influence of the past-he could not yet break
asunder the yoke, and bid defiance to Brigham and the
Priesthood. He told me that now was the time for him to
prove his obedience, cost what it might; and all the brethren
urged him to submit, saying that the Lord would overrule
everything for his good.
Believing this, he broke up his establishment at Salt Lake
City, and went, as "counselled," to Ogden. There he'remained for several months, during which time he was losing
money every day. Finding at last that he could stand it no
longer, he asked Brigham Young's permission to return and
recommence his paper in Salt Lake City, for no one then
dared stir a foot without permission. This was granted, for
Brigham had now accomplished his purpose. But some of
our friends told me that the teachers, when making their
weekly visits, were telling the people not to take in Brother
Stenhouse's paper again, if he came back to Salt Lake City,
for he was apostatising, and they must not sustain an
Apostate. Now, I thought, my husband will believe that I
was right in my judgment of Brigham's motives.
My own family and that of the second wife, did not accompany my husband to Ogden; he was therefore quite at home
when he returned, but the expense of transferring his business
553 
A FREE MAN AGAIN!
from one place -o another was perfectly ruinous. He had
not only purchased valuable property, as I before mentioned,
in the City, but he had also realised quite a comfortable little
fortune by the success of his paper; but now the property
had to be mortgaged, and his fortune was, of course, utterly
insufficient for these heavy daily losses. Just then, the severe
illness of my eldest son, in San Francisco, made it necessary
that we should leave immediately to attend him, for we had
received intelligence that he was not at all likely to recover.
As it was my own son who was sick, my husband had very
naturally determined that I should accompany him; but this
brought on such a severe fit of jealousy on the part of his
young wife, who already was by no means too happy, that
when we returned, after my son's recovery, she threatened to
obtain a divorce. My husband told me of this, but I had so
frequently heard such threats from wives who were unhappy
or neglected that I thought little about it.
One day, not long after our return, I was quite surprised to
see Mr. Stenhouse and Joseph A. Young drive up to the
door, looking as if something of great importance had just
transpired. Mr. Stenhouse jumped out of his buggy and
hurriedly gave me a letter, as I thought,-at the same time
saying, "Take great care of this for it makes me a free man
again." Saying this, he left the house, jumped into the buggy
again, and was gone, while I stood holding the paper, wondering what it all could mean.
My husband had told me to "take care" of the paper.  He
neither said "read it" or "don't read it," and, of course, I was
not in the least curious. The envelope was not sealed, so I
made up my mind that, though he had not said so, he must
have wished me to read what was inside, and at any rate I resolved to risk doing so. To my astonishment I found that the
document which he said set him free, was nothing else than
a bill of divorce between him and his young wife. It appeared
afterwards that she had been to Brother Brigham, had told
him of her grievances, and had asked for a divorce.
Now when the wife of any man who is of good standing in
554 
THE "BILL OF DIVORCE":-FEE, TEN DOLLARS! 555
the Church, and whom Brigham wishes to honor, comes to
him for a divorce, he generally sends for the husband first,
tells him about it, and they talk it over together. The husband is counselled to "make the matter up," and a compromise is effected. In the case of my husband, Brigham acted
otherwise. The clerk had been directed to make out the papers, which the second wife signed, and, as far as she was concerned, her marriage was dissolved. My husband was then
notified that he was wanted at the Prophet's office, and he had
a very shrewd guess as to what the nature of the business
was for which his presence was desired. He waited'till the
afternoon when he knew that Brigham would be absent, and
then as he was driving out with Joseph A., the Prophet's son,
he drew up before the office and asked Joseph to accompany
him inside in order to witness a little business which he had
to transact.  Joseph agreed; but when he found what the
business really was, he strongly urged my husband not to
sign the papers, or, at least, to take time and consult with
President Young first. Mr. Stenhouse, however, never for a
moment doubted that Brigham had expected by this hasty
move to bring him to his feet, and he would not therefore yield.
So, asking the clerk for the papers, he signed them, and Jogeph
also signed them as a witness-the other witness was David
Mackenzie, Brigham's clerk. Belinda had already affixed her
name.  Ten dollars were then handed over as the usual fee;
My husband took one copy of the a bill of divorce," the wife
had a right to a second copy, and the third was deposited in
the archives of Zion. My husband had then, as we have seen,
hastened home to tell me that he was "a free man: "-and yet
these two had been "sealed" to each other at the altar in the
Endowment House. "for all eternity!"
This is the way that divorces are granted in Utah:-there
is not the slightest difficulty about them, if only Brother Brigham is willing. The reader would, perhaps, be interested in
seeing one of these terrible documents. I therefore append a
true, perfect, and exact copy of my husband's own bill of divorce.  It is a fac simile-type, signatures, and all.  This is 
MY NEW POSITION.
a specimen of an orthodox divorce among the bon toiz in Salt
Lake City. Out in the Settlements they do things in a much
more primitive style, and some of their documents are rather
amusing. The following is a correct copy of a Mormon div    o    r     c    e     bill taken from the records of Beaver City:
March 8th I87I
To whomsoever it may concern
This is to certify that in the beginning of I869 when I gave a bill of divorce
to Sarah Ann Lowry I gave to her for the good of her four children the following property viz A parcel of land of about nine acres enclosed all around with a
house of two rooms and one cow and heifer
WILLIAM C RITTER
I could, if space permitted, give many others equally interesting.
I cannot say that I was much grieved at the sight of my husband's divorce. At the same time, long training in the school of
trouble had hardened my heart and rendered me almost indifferent, and I cannot say that I very greatly rejoiced. Nature
adapts us morally, as well as physically, to the positions which
we have to occupy in life. The hand of him who labors much
becomes hard, and the unshodden foot grows horny, and the
heart which at first is tender and, like the oeolian harp, ready
to answer to the slightest passing breath, by and by, beneath
the rough hand of trial and the world, becomes callous and
stony, and the roughest storms and the sweetest pleasures
alike seem to make little impression upon it.
Thus it was with me when I received that paper. A few
years before, a reliable assurance that my husband would never
enter into Polygamy would have been to me the realisation of
my best earthly wishes. But now my heart was almost dead,
and I felt as if I hardly cared one way or the other. If I felt
thus, who had still all my darling children around me, who
had never missed one dear little face from the fireside or from
the table; what must have been endured by those mothers
who not only gave away their husbands to other wives, but
who lost child after child, until, bereft of all they loved on
earth, they could but, like Rachael, sit down in ashes and
mourn for the dead?
556 
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* 
BRIGHAM'S DEVICES.
But the more I thought over what had happened, the more
doubtful I felt as to what the result would be. That there
would be some great change in our life, I felt assured; but to
me the change was coming almost too late.  Then, too, the
young wife who in her hasty anger had obtained the divorce.I felt that her happiness must surely be gone, and I could not
bear the thought that my peace should be purchased with the
sorrows of another. Brother Brigham's part in the matter
was also ever present in my mind. That he had resolved to
bring ruin upon my husband I did not now for a moment
doubt. But if a weak woman's efforts could in any way assist
in thwarting his designs, I fully resolved that he never should
have the satisfaction of seeing those designs successful. I
would stand by my husband, I would work for, and assist, him,
and would give not even a passing thought to what I might
have suffered, or remember that he had ever loved others better than myself. I would be to him now the true wife that
before God I had vowed to be, for worse as well as for better;
and however I myself might have been wronged, I would, for
my part, endeavor faithfully to perform my whole duty to my
husband and to God.
After I had formed this mental resolution, and had begun
to realise our new position, I felt as if awakening from a long
dream of many years;- I was released from the clutches of
that frightful nightmare-Polygamy; and I could once more
take my place beside my husband as his wife. I knew that
he would have much to contend against, and would need all
the moral support that I could accord to him. Brigham's
efforts in respect to my husband's paper had been far too successful, and although it was still carried on, fresh difficulties
sprang up every day.  My husband had been deceived by Brigham's oily manner and plausible way; but to others his intention in sending him away was no secret. A man, named Bull,
who is now and was also at that time, employed in the Deseret
News office, said that no one but Mr. Stenhouse had ever been
deceived by what the Prophet had done-it was commonly reported that Brigham intended to ruin my husband, and that
34
559 
KNAVE OR FOOL?
when he prophesied that the paper in Ogden should be a great
success, he was himself perfectly aware that it was utterly impossible that such should be the case.
Whether Brigham was the deceiver or the deceived, I do
not wish to say. Men who consider themselves inspired, and
go on day by day uttering all sorts of nonsense and blasphemy,
and giving impertinent and mischievous advice in the "name
of the Lord," at last become thoroughly impervious to reason,
and daily and hourly deceive themselves. I hope, for his own
sake, it was so with Brigham, for I would rather believe him a
self-made fool than a downright knave; and in many of his
transactions-perhaps I ought almost to say all-it is clear to
every one that he is either one or the other. Of one thing I
am certain, -I was fully contented that we should lose all, if
only my husband were taken, once and for ever, clean out of
the meshes of Mormonism. We might have to make a terrible sacrifice, but to me it was a sacrifice well worth the
making.
560
lw 
CHAPTER XL.
MARY BURTON-LIFE'S JOURNEY ENDED REST AT LAST.
Sent for in Haste-" Sister Mary had taken Poison "-Mary's Troubles-Elder
Shrewsbury's Wives-Removing to Salt Lake City-Domestic Life without
Love-A Wife's Despair-A Divided Household-Seeking Sympathy-The
forsaken Wife-The change which Polygamy produced in a Husband-Com forting a heartbroken Wife-Dark thoughts-Waiting for the End-Mary at tempts to destroy Herself-A Painful Story-Heartless conduct of Elder
Shrewsbury-A Wife's Curse-Shadows of the Night-Broken-Hearted-The
Little Medicine Chest-A fatal Potion-Elder Shrewsbury visits his dying
Wife-" What a Curse was there! "-With my dying Friend-Life's Journey
Ended-Rest at last.
wa
T was about this time that one morning, very early, before
I was well up, a young girl came to the house in a great
hurry, asking to speak to me without a moment's delay.
I threw a wrapper round me, and went out at once to see
her. She said she came from the house of Sister Mary Burton, and begged me to come directly and see her, for Mary
had taken poison and it was thought she was dying.
Now, I have been so much engaged of late in telling my
own sorrows, that Mary Burton has quite dropped out of my
story. But it must not be supposed that all that time I saw
nothing of my poor friend.  On the contrary, I had seen her
much more frequently of late than I used to when I first came
to Salt Lake City. When I last spoke of her it was when she
was about to return to Southern Utah, where she and her husband then resided. It was evident to me from her conversa 
MARY BURTON.
tion, as it must have been to the reader, that her faith in
Mormonism had even then entirely gone, that she felt her
husband's neglect and unkindness most keenly, and that she
had become a miserable, broken-hearted woman. It was very
painful to contrast what she now was with what she had been
when I first knew her, and then to think what a happy wife
and mother she might have been if the spectre of Mormonism
had not crossed her path.
Mary and her husband, Elder Shrewsbury, left the Settlements about a year after the time I last mentioned her, and
took up their abode in Salt Lake City. Elder Shrewsbury
had prospered exceedingly, and when he came to Salt Lake he
brought with him, besides Mary, his second wife, Ellen, who,
as we before noticed, had becoQme very much attached to her.
The other three wives and their children were left at the farm
in Southern Utah. He would probably have brought them all
with him, had there been in the City a house large enough to
hold them all. As it was, he purchased a good lot about half
a mile from where we resided, with a comfortable house upon
it; and there his first and second wives lived together. This
was the man who had solemnly sworn before God, that he
would never practice Polygamy!  But I doubt if Elder Shrewsbury, with his comfortable house in the City, his farm and
lands in the South, his fast increasing property, and his many
wives, felt truly the hundredth part of the happiness which he
would have experienced in the devotion of one faithful heart,
even had it been in the midst of poverty and care. He, however, poor infatuated man, did not think thus; he was actually
even now courting a young girl of about seventeen years of
age, who the two wives daily expected would be brought home
to aid in building up their husband's "Kingdom."  I do not
think Mary cared much about this. It was the taking of the
first plural wife that was her great sorrow. After that, her
love for her husband weakened, until it altogether died out, and
she did not care how many wives he took.
Mary's high spirit was always urging her into rebellion. In
married life both husband and wife give way to each other in
562 
THE STORY OF A WASTED LIFE.
a thousand little things, of no consequence in themselves, but
quite sufficient, without the presence of love, to sow the seeds
of discord. But when love has fled, and the husband looks
upon his wife-the companion of his youth, the mother of his
children-not as the partner of his whole life and the sharer
of all his joys and sorrows, but as a person whose presence is
a reproach to him and who is an inconvenience rather than
otherwise;-and when the wife regards her husband as one
whom formerly she loved with true devotion, but who has
cruelly broken her heart and trampled upon her feelings, and
who is nothing to her now but a tyrant whose very presence
is painful to her,-can there then be any forbearance, any of
those gentle kindnesses, any of those loving forgivenesses,
any of those mutual tendernesses and sweet confidences which
constitute the charm of married life, and make it what the
Apostle said it was-a type of the sacred union between
Christ and His people in heaven.
In giving up Mormonism, my unhappy friend gave up, as
too many have done, faith in all else. She had lived, as she
thought, a life of religion; and when she found what a terrible
mockery of all that is holy that so-called religion was, she cast
it aside, thinking that all religion was vain. She did not see
that she would have acted just as wisely in rejecting all food
because she chanced to partake of some that was poisoned
she did not see that, although the broken reed on which she
rested was unable to yield her any true support, nevertheless
the everlasting foundations of Eternal Truth which God Himself has laid can never be removed; and that though creeds
and systems may fail and pass away, only to give place
to others equally unsatisfactory, yet those divine verities
are established for ever, are beyond the reach of earthly vicissitudes, and know nothing of time or change.
U.tterly miserable and sick at heart, Mary cared not
whether she lived or died. There was nothing to bind her to
life, and beyond the life of this world she was altogether without hope. A more wretched existence it is scarcely possible
to imagine.
1563 
DESOLATE AND ALONE.
While they were still in the Settlements, she treated the
other wives with the greatest contempt, sitting by them at the
table or passing them in the house without vouchsafing a look
or a word. Her husband, as might be expected, avoided her
whenever it was possible, and the other wives returned her
coldness and disdain, and in turn annoyed her as much as they
could when they were not too busy looking after one another.
It would be impossible to picture a house more divided against
itself than was that of Elder Shrewsbury.
When the two wives, Ellen and Mary, lived together with
their husband in Salt Lake City, Mary, of course, had no opportunity of showing her hatred and contempt for the Polygamic wives. But towards her husband she evinced a cold disdain, as if he were now nothing at all to her-as if her very
heart itself had been withered. For Ellen, who since Elder
Shrewsbury had taken his other wives had clung to her
with a child-like affection, and to her own little girl alone, she
showed that deep and constant love which she had once
lavished upon such an unworthy object.
She used to come to me and tell me all her griefs; and in
a passion of rage and tears she would hurl defiance at Mormonism and curse bitterly the system that had wrecked her
life. Then I would soothe her, and speak calmly to her, and
try to place matters in their best light; and she would sit and
listen in a painful state of apathy as if she cared for none of
these things. Presently she would rise and go, and then, perhaps, I would not see her for weeks together, unless I chanced
to call upon her at her own house. Sometimes, for days and
even weeks at a time, she would shut herself up in her room
and refuse to see her husband or any one else, except her
little girl, who slept in the same room with her, and who at
such times used to bring in what food they wanted; for in
these melancholy fits she would not even let the servants
come near her.
There was a little table near the window, and from the casement of the window could be seen in the far distance the
lofty ranges of the Wahsatch Mountains. And sitting at that
,564 
A CHANGED MAN.
table, gazing from that window, with her cheek resting upon
her hand, Mary would watch the whole day long as if entranced in some ecstatic vision. Her little girl-a child of
winning ways, bashful to an extreme and very pretty, but,
though so young, with a look of wistful sadness upon her
childish face-had become accustomed to her mother's ways;
and when one of these long spells of melancholy came upon
her, she would either steal out quietly and wander away for a
long walk all by herself-for she never played with the other
children in her father's house-or else, as was more frequently
the case, she would sit down on the ground near her
mother and silently amuse herself with a book or some
childish toy.
To my mind there was something inexpressibly painful in
all this. When Mary did not come to see me, I would call
round at her husband's house, and try to draw her out from her
melancholy seclusion. It was very seldom that I saw Elder
Shrewsbury, and I cannot say that I wished to do so. He
had, as his wife told me, undergone a complete change since I
knew him in England.-The open look, the upright bearing,
the earnestness of speech, which then characterised him,
were now gone for ever. He was still a handsome ian,
rather portly, and evidently well to do in the world; but
there were lines about his eyes which ought not to have
been seen in the face of a man of his years; and his lips,
without uttering a word, told their own story. I could remember watching those lips-rather full and voluptuous even
then-in the old days when Polygamy was unknown and
Mormonism came upon us in all its freshness and stirred our
very souls to their utmost depths.-Then they seemed instinct
with the thought and intellect of the man, and their very expression conveyed a meaning almost as eloquent as the words
which proceeded from them. Now they were listless and
heavy; and if any expression hovered around them still, it
was an expression of sensuality and selfishness. Was it, I
sometimes asked myself, Polygamy that ruined that man; or
was there in his nature-hidden of course in early days-that
565 
'WEARY OF LIFE.
which led him to Polygamy, and which, had there been no
Mormonism, would have developed itself in some other
degrading way?
Heartbroken and wretched, weary of life; and yet with no
hopeful assurance of life beyond the grave, poor Mary lived on
year after year, while those who seemed to dance in the very
sunshine of existence were cut off like the summer flowers in
the harvest-field. Lately, however, 1 thought I saw symptoms
of a change. The pitcher may be taken often to the fountain,
but it will be broken at last, and this poor, weak body of
ours, wonderful as its powers of endurance are, cannot last
for ever. With a mind at ease and happy, we can bid defiance
to many of the ills which flesh is heir to, but when the
mind is troubled, and the heart is weary, and the flesh also
is weak, the thread of life is ready at any moment to be
snapped asunder.
I saw this clearly in the case of my poor friend. Every
time she came to see me, or I called at her house, I noticed
that she was perceptibly growing thinner and thinner; her
eye seemed brighter, and there was always a flush upon her
cheek, which would have been beautiful had it not been for the
seal of melancholy which was stamped upon every.'eature.
But the brightness of the eye, and the flush upon the cheek,
were not symbols of health, but the imprint of the finger
of death.
She did not know this.  Though she longed to die, she
little thought that death was so near her. Sometimes she
would talk almost happily of the old by-gone days; then she
would sit brooding over her griefs; and then again she
would talk anxiously about the future of her little daughter.
I had seen other wives as wretched as poor Mary was,-aye,
more so, for they had abject, grinding poverty superadded
to all their woes;-but, more than for any other I felt for
my poor friend, and exerted myself to the uttermost to comfort her. In this I had been to a certain extent successful.
She would appear for a time a little more cheerful, but it was
not long before she relapsed into her habitual melancholy way.
566 
PAINFUL QUESTIONS
That which troubled me most of late, in my intercourse
with Mary, was the fact that she was always talking about
death.  This certainly was no matter of surprise to me, but
it was very painful. Over and over again she would discuss the question-whether under any circumstances suicide
could be justified, and whether if any one, in absolute despair were to take away their own life, God would ever pardon
them.
I would never enter into such subjects as these, for I considered that such conversation showed a morbid condition of
mind, could not possibly be of any good to either of us, and
would only suggest harmful thoughts. But again and again
Mary reverted to the subject, and I really at last began to
grow quite anxious about her.
It was not, therefore, with surprise that I received the
summons that morning. I did not wait to ask any questions
about the poisoning, but hastened to the bedside of my
unfortunate friend, trusting that I might yet be in time to
render some assistance.
I found her lying on the bed, partly dressed, and, as it
seemed to me at first, asleep. There was, at the bedside, and
bending over her, the second wife, who was in as Much
trouble as if the sufferer had been her own sister. The poor
girl had been weeping, and was evidently very much distressed. There was also present in the room another sister,
whom I recognised as a friend of Mary's. The little daughter
of the unfortunate woman was there as well. One person,
whom every one would naturally have expected to see at the
bedside of a dying wife under such circumstances, was conspicuous by his absence, I mean, of course, Elder Shrewsbury himself.
I sat down on the bed, beside poor Mary, and took her
hand in mine. It was cold but damp, and her breathing was
somewhat heavy. She was still unconscious. I asked the
pretty pale-faced girl-the second wife-who was bending
over her, how it had all happened, and whether they had had
a doctor.
567 
A CRUEL PROPOSITION.
"Oh, yes," she said, sobbing all the time,' we sent for the
doctor, and he has only just gone. He said he had done all
he could, and that we could let her sleep on now."
She then told me what had taken place. It appeared that
the night before, Elder Shrewsbury had gone up into Mary's
room to speak to her about a matter of some importance.
Although living in the same house she had not seen him for
several weeks, and the mere fact of being in his presence
agitated her. He told her he had come to talk about her child
-little Mary, called Mary after her mother. For some reason
or other, which nobody then seemed to understand, Elder
Shrewsbury had taken a fancy that the child should be separated from her mother; he wanted to send her to stay with
his other family in the Settlements, and it was for this purpose he came to see Mary that night.  It certainly did seem
the refinement of cruelty to separate the child from her poor
mother, who would thus have become, as one might say,
doubly widowed; and I am strongly inclined to question
whether Elder Shrewsbury's motives were of the purest kind.
It is, however, only just to state, that subsequently, when
speaking to a friend about the matter, he said that he had
long noticed in his wife what he considered were irfipient
symptoms of madness, and he thought that his duty towards
the child imperatively demanded that he should immediately
take her away from her mother. He added-as was indeed
true-that his other wives in the South would have taken the
greatest care of her.
Mary was furious when the proposal was made to her.
She bitterly upbraided her husband for all his cruelty and
neglect, she cursed him for his perfidy, and she vowed that
nothing but death should separate her from her little girl.
Elder Shrewsbury trembled at the anger of his poor forsaken wife, and he crept out of her room and downstairs.
But Mary could not be appeased. She went to the room of
the second wife-the only creature in the house, besides her
little girl with whom she sometimes condescended to hold
intercourse-and there she acted in a very wild and extrav
568 
I )I.
I
I               ~
ME TO PASS THAT AT EVENTIDE THERE SHALL BE LIGHT." 
a, 
TROUBLED AT HEART.
agant way. It was with great difficulty that she was at last
persuaded to lie down and take a little rest. She would
not go to her own room; so Ellen-the second wife-persuaded her to remain with her all the night. She lay down,
but did not sleep. She muttered strange things, and by and
by sat up in the bed and spoke as if people were present
whom she had known years and years ago. Ellen was
frightened; but out of love to Mary, and not wishing that
others should see her in that crazy condition, she did not call
for help, thinking that presently she would fall asleep and in
the morning all would be right. But the long night passed
away, and just before day-break Ellen fell into a sort of
fitful slumber. It would seem that just then poor Mary discovered for the first time that she was not sleeping in her
own room, and that her little daughter was not with her.
Distracted as her mind was, she probably thought that they
had stolen the child away, and went in search of her.
She found her way to her own room, and then what hap,
pened no one, of course, could tell. She must have seen that
her child was safe; and it is not unlikely that, reassured on
that point, she felt that she needed rest, and thought that it
would be best to take some sedative to produce the seep
which she believed would restore her to herself again. She
had in her room a little leather medicine-chest-a very useful
article for any one travelling, or to keep in the house-and to
that she must have had resort. Certain it is, that when, an
hour later, Ellen awoke and went to see what had become of
her husband's first wife, she found the little medicine-chest
open upon the bureau, Mary lying upon the bed, apparently
asleep, and a faint sickly smell, which one better versed in
such things would have known was the smell of opium, pervading the whole room.
Ellen began to scream and call for help, and one of the
women about the house, who was up at that early hour, came
to see what was the matter. She, upon hearing what Ellen
said, rushed downstairs shrieking for assistance. Fortunately
for every one, Elder Shrewsbury, who had just risen, was
571 
"OH GOD! WHAT A CURSE WAS THERE!"
standing in the hall-way below.  He took hold of the noisy
woman and asked her what was the matter, and after hearing
all she had to say he sent her to attend to her domestic duties,
with a strict injunction to say nothing to a living soul about
what she had seen or heard.
Elder Shrewsbury then went up to Mary's room, and there
he learned that all that the silly woman had just said to him
was quite true. He, however, betrayed no emotion. Very
calmly he put the stopper back into the laudanum bottle, then
looked at his watch and hesitated, all the while that pale faced Ellen was looking anxiously at him, wanting to know
what she could do.  After a few moments of indecision, Elder
Shrewsbury turned to Ellen and said,  "Yes; go for the
doctor."
Ellen flew upon her mission.
Meanwhile, Elder Shrewsbury looked towards the bed
where poor Mary lay-Mary, for whose love he had perjured
his soul-Mary who never would have been his had he not
given that sacred promise, the breaking of which made him
an outlaw from heaven and a thing to be despised of men.
He looked for one single moment at his poor wife as she lay
there, and then he turned upon his heel and went out of the
room.  For the wealth of all the world I would not feel as
that man felt, if the thoughts which then crowded upon his
brain were what, for the sake of our common humanity, I
trust they were. The remembrance of the life which his folly
or fanaticism- it matters little which-had blasted; the
thought of that solemn vow which he had taken to love her
only and for ever; the sight of that dear one to whom he
had once plighted his troth, now desolate, forsaken, almost
maniac in her wretchedness.-Oh God! what a curse was
there for any man's soul to bear!
The physician, when he came, administered an emetic and
made them walk the patient about the room. Ellen and
the friend of Mary who was present volunteered for this
service. They supported her, one on each side, and paced
her round and round the room, thus compelling her to exer
572 
NEARING THE HAVEN.
tion; and from time to time they made her swallow doses of
strong coffee, in which a little brandy had been mixed. When,
at length, signs of returning consciousness were apparent, the
physician left, promising to call again in the course of the
niorning.
It was then that some one present thought of sending for
me, and I arrived not long after the physician had gone. I
was the only person, outside the family, beside the friend
whom I have mentioned, who knew of any thing that had
taken place-so careful were they that the matter should not
get abroad; and I should certainly not have been summoned
had it not been for the close intimacy which existed between
Mary and myself, which made us more like sisters than
friends. The reader must not, however, suppose that in relating this I am even now betraying a trust; for my friends in
Utah know as well as I do that so many unhappy wives have
in their desperation been driven to attempt self-destruction,
that having no clue in the name, which solely out of love for
my poor friend, I have all through this narrative given her,
they will not know who to fix upon as the person to whom I
allude.* There is, however, one still living-he will know-let
his own conscience be his accuser. 
In about half an hour's time, Mary began to recognise those
who were around her, but she did not seem disposed to speak.
She opened her eyes and looked dreamily at me for a long
time, but the slight pressure of my hand was her only recognition of my presence. I bent down over her and whispered
a few assuring words in her ear, and for a moment a faint,
weary smile lighted up her thin, pale face. It was not like
the sweet smiles of the by-gone days which used to suffuse her
whole countenance with sunshine-it was but the very ghost of
a smile. Presently she sank into a gentle slumber; but I
still sat by her on the bed, holding her hand in mine, and I
* Besides poor Mary's family, in ezvery other instance [with the solitary excep.
tion of Sister Ann-my "talkative friend "-who is still living and is so well
known in Salt Lake City,] I have been as scrupulous in giving real names as I
have been in stating only facts which I had either witnessed or knew beyond
question were true.
i573 
LIFE'S JOURNEY OVER.
remained there for two or three hours. Then, after seeing
that every thing was at hand which she could possibly want
if she awoke, and assured by Ellen that she would not leave
her until she was able to sit up, I left for my own home.
At the bottom of the stairs, in the hall-way, I was cohfronted by Elder Shrewsbury himself. This surprised me, as
hitherto he had most sedulously avoided coming in contact
with me. He gave me one searching glance, as if to read my
thoughts, and then said: "Sister Stenhouse, this is a most
unhappy affair, but say nothing about it-no good can come
of talking of such matters."
I assured him that for Mary's sake-not for his-I would
not speak of. what had transpired; but when he held out his
hand for me to shake I affected not to see it, but wished him
good-morning, and left the house.
For some time she said nothing to me about the sad event
which had so greatly troubled us, and when at length she
hesitatingly alluded to it, I was much relieved to find that the
taking of the deadly drug was on her part wholly accidental.
It was as I from the first suspected-for I knew and loved my
dear friend too well to wrong her even by a thought.  Cruelly
as she had suffered, wretched and miserable as she was, bitterly as she felt, the instincts of her heart were too true and
her nature too noble to allow of her seeking oblivion from her
troubles in voluntary and premeditated death, as I have known
was the case with many wretched Mormon wives. She had
only thought to take an opiate to soothe the feverish excitement which had almost bereft her of reason, and, in the weak
and enfeebled condition in which she was, the draught had
been too powerful for her. Guiltless as she was, she dreaded
that others might impute wrong motives to her in what she
had done; and even to me she spoke of her sickness painfully and with hesitation. 
After this, I called day after day upon my poor friend,
until she was sufficiently recovered to walk about and even to
get out of doors a little. The story of the unhappy attempt
574 
REST AT LAST.
which she was supposed to have made upon her life, by some
means, however, got rumored abroad, and she heard of it. She
said nothing at the time, but I believe it preyed upon her mind.
Weak and failing in health, as she long had been, the shockwhich
her system had received was too much for her, and it was evident
to every one who saw her that her earthly trials would soon
be ended. She sank gradually, and life ebbed from her gently
and without pain. A few days before she died, she sent for
me, and I spent several hours with her. I might say that
they were happy hours; for the near prospect of death
seemed to have dispelled all those gloomy fears of the future
life, which had for so many years troubled her soul; and she
now looked forward with peaceful resignation to her approaching change. Death came at last to her when she was sleeping,
and she passed away tranquilly and without a sigh. I almost
rejoiced when I heard that at last her weary journey was
over and she was at rest. She had been ever very dear to
me, and I loved her with the fondest affection. But I shall
never think of her without bitter feelings towards that unholy
system which brought her to an untimely grave; for she of
all others was one of the fairest flowers which were ever
blighted by Mormonism and Polygamy. 
575 
CHAPTER XLI.
MY HUSBAND DISFELLOWSHIPPED-WE APOSTATISE BRUTAL OUTRAGE UPON MY HUSBAND AND MYSELF.
A Crisis-Effects of Superstition and Blind Obedience-Questioning Brother
Brigham's Authority-The Faithful are "Counselled" Against My Husband
-The School of the Prophets-Arbitrary Measures-My Husband is Dis fellowshipped-"I Will Be Free! "-The Breaking of Bonds-The Day of
Liberty-Asking to be "Cut Off" from the Church-A  Brutal Outrage
Upon My Husband and Myself-The Secret Police-Who Were the Guilty? How the Bodies of Murdered Men are "Discovered! "-The Fate of Apos tates-Carrying Out the Teachings of Brigham-Who Ought to be Blamed What an Ill-Treated Wife Told Me-Brigham's Explanation-Hl Accuses
Belinda's Brothers-How Crimes Are Explained Away-Why Brigham
Withdrew an Offered Reward-What People Dared Not Say.
OTWITHSTANDING  all my  own personal troubles
and the difficulties which surrounded us, the loss of my
dear friend affected me very deeply. And yet her story is
the same as might be told of hundreds of other English girls
who have been lured from their happy homes and have died
broken-hearted and neglected in Utah.
Now came that change in our life which I had so long
hoped for, but which had always seemed to me so very far
distant. We had been tossed by many a storm, but the
violence of this last gale was such that it forced us clean out
of the sea of Mormonism, and landed us high and dry upon
the firm ground of apostacy.
My husband had been so long engaged in the defence of 
REBELLION AND APOSTACY.
Mormonism that it had become almost a part of himself;-its
doctrines and observances seemed to him beyond a question,
its weak and doubtful points were ignored, and implicit
obedience to the behests of the Priesthood was with him an
article of faith. When therefore I heard him, with others,
talking over some of the questionable teachings of the Church,
criticising Brigham's counsellings, doubting some of his
measures, and speaking of him as they would of any of the
other brethren, I was satisfied that his days of faith were
numbered. The point that I had all along been aiming at
was to get him to think for himself, for hitherto he had been
a mere tool in the hands of the Priesthood. Long years of
submission and receiving as divine inspiration all that a
"Prophet" is pleased to say, necessarily benumbs the soul
and withers its life, until unconsciously the victim becomes
an abject slave. And this is the position to-day of many
otherwise well-informed and intelligent people in the Mormon
Church-they are mere automata.
About the time when my husband returned with his paper
to Salt Lake  City, the  Utah  Magazine, a liberal journal
just struggling into existence, began to call in question some
of Brigham's measures, and the editors, who were all men of
some mark in the Mormon Church, presumed to hint that the
people had rights'and privileges as well as the Priesthood.
This. was done in a very quiet, unobtrusive way, but it was,
nevertheless, pronounced rebellion and apostacy.  My  husband's paper was silent upon the subject; and, in consequence,
he was suspected of being in league with the enemy.  This
was another good reason why the people should be "counselled" not to take in the Telegraph. Although he was not
yet sufficiently advanced in thought to give much direct aid
to the questioners of. Brigham's authority, I saw with pleasure
that he did not wish to'oppose them; the tone of his paper
was evidently changing, and the articles which appeared from
time to time gave serious offence to Brigham Young. This,
however, was not all his wrong-doing;-he had of late been
neglectful in his attendance at the "School of the Prophets 
35
577' 
DISFELLOWSHIPPED.
-a meeting which was then held every Saturday for the
benefit of the Elders, but which has now for a time been
discontinued, on account of some of the brethren turning
traitor and revealing all that was said.
Together with the editors of the  Utah Magazine, Mr.
Stenhouse and one or two others were summoned to appear at
the School on the following Saturday, to give their reasons for
previous non-attendance. This they had all along anticipated,
and were therefore not surprised at the summons, but they
hardly expected that Brigham would act so precipitately; for,
without waiting to hear their reasons, he disfellowshipped them
all for irregular attendance.
Brigham's assumption of the right to disfellowship men
from the Church because of irregular attendance at the School
was a stretch of authority which startled my husband: "What
will he not do next?" he said. "To submit would be to acknowledge him absolute, and me a slave. There is but one
alternative now-slavery or freedom. Cost me what it may,
I will be free!"
Those who have never been enslaved by a superstitious faith
which mentally and bodily enthrals its devotees, as Mormonism does, can form no idea of the joy, the happiness, which is
experienced when, after years of spiritual -servitude, the
shackles are burst asunder and the slave is "FREE!" There is
pleasure even in the thought itself that one is free-free to
think and free to act, free to worship according to the dictates
of one's own conscience, and free to speak one's own opinions
and sentiments, without the constant fear that sone spy is
listening to every word and that the consequences may be far
from pleasant!
In August of the same year, my husband sent a respectful
and kindly letter to the Bishop of our Ward, stating that he
had no faith in Brigham's claim to an "Infallible Priesthood,"
and that he considered that he ought to be cut off from the
Church. I added a postscript, stating that I wished to share
my husband's fate-little thinking that within three days my
request would be answered in a too literal manner.
578_ 
A NIGHT ATTACK.
A little after ten o'clock, on the Saturday night succeeding
our withdrawal from the Church, we were returning home
together.  The night was very dark, and as our residence is
in the suburbs of the City, north of the Temple block, and
the road very quiet, the walk was a very lonely one and perhaps not altogether too safe. We had gone about a third of
the way, when we suddenly saw four men come out from under
some trees at a little distance from us. In the gloom of the
night we could only see them very indistinctly, and could not
distinguish who they were. They separated; and two of them
came forward and stumbled up against us, and two passed on
beside us. For a moment I thought that they were intoxicated,
but it was soon clear that they were acting from design. As
soon as they approached, they seized hold of my husband's
arms, one on each side, and held him firmly, thus rendering him
almost powerless.  They were all masked, for it was supposed
that thus we should not be able to discover their identity, and
that if by any chance an investigation should subsequently be
made into the doings of that night it would not be possible for
any one to witness against them.
I am inclined to think that these wretches, when they
planned the attack, had not calculated upon my being present
with my husband, and I imagine that when they saw me with
him they supposed I should scream and run away, after the
manner of many women. In this, however, they were mistaken.  I still clung to my husband's arm, but with my left
hand caught hold of one of the ruffians by the collar of his
coat; for I apprehended the worst, well knowing of what
atrocities these men were capable. It is no secret that the
police of Salt Lake City-for it is the police who there commit murders and other inhuman outrages-treat with the
greatest brutality all the unhappy Gentiles and Apostates
whose misfortune it is to fall into their power. This also is
the wretched effects of the fanatical teaching of the Church.
These men believe that Utah is Zion-the "Kingdom of
God," and that citizens of the United States are but intruders
upon this holy ground; that they ought to be driven out and
579 
{ BRETHREN, DO YOUR DUTY "
despoiled of everything, and even murdered if opportunity
offers. They make no secret of these feelings towards the
Gentiles, and towards Apostate Mormons it is shown, if possible, in a somewhat stronger manner.
The movements of the two men who held my husband were
somewhat impeded by my clinging to his arm, and they seemed
to hesitate for a moment. The other two, who stood a few
feet distant from us, also hesitated. One of the men who
held my husband said to them, "Brethren, do your duty."  We
recognised his voice at once as that of a certain policemana young man whom we had known in England when a child,
and with whose family we had been upon the most friendly
terms.
In an instant I saw them raise their arms, as if taking aim,
and for one brief second I thought that our end had now surely
come, and that we, like so many obnoxious persons before us,
were about to be murdered for the great sin of apostacy.
This, I firmly believe, would have been my husband's fate, if I
had not chanced to be with him or had I run away; they
would probably have beaten him to death; -they, who I have
every reason to believe were two of the regular and two of the
special policemen;-and then, the next morning, they would
have "discovered" the body, and it would have been said that
he had been murdered by Gentiles or Apostates in a personal
quarrel or a  street  brawl.  My presence somewhat disarranged their plans, and it was that probably which caused the
two men to hesitate, not knowing what would be considered
their "duty" under present circumstances.
A much less noble fate than assassination was reserved for us.
The wretches, although otherwise well armed, were not holding revolvers in their hands as I at first supposed. They were
furnished with huge garden-syringes charged with the most
disgusting filth, in the preparation of which they took especial
pains. So kindred to their own base natures was such an act
that I doubt not they found it quite a labor of love. The
moment the syringes were pointed at us, my husband, thinking a shot was coming, moved his head, and thus to a certain
580 
THE FATE OF APOSTATES.
extent escaped the full force of the discharge.  I, howe~er. was
not so fortunate. My hair, bonnet, face, clothes, personevery inch of my body, every shred that I wore-were in an
instant saturated, and my husband and myself stood there
reeking from head to foot.
The villains, when they had perpetrated this disgusting and
brutal outrage, turned and fled. We ran after them for some
little distance, but we had no arms and nothing with which
to defend ourselves; in fact we pursued them instinctively
rather than with any idea of overtaking them. There was
another man standing a little distance off in the direction in
which they were running, and we could not tell how many
might be concealed:.-the place, too, was dark and lonely, for
they had gone behind the Temple block a fit corner for murderers to skulk in; a convenient spot for the commission of
any unholy deed. I was burning with indignation, and longed
to revenge myself upon the brutal cowards who had assaulted
us. In my anger I called upon them to come and kill us outright, for I would have preferred death to such an indignity.
I almost wonder that they did not take me at my word and
return and finish their foul work, for they have long acted
upon the principle that "dead men tell no tales." 
There were, at that time, in Utah, a great many special or
secret police who were always ready for any dirty, brutal, or
murderous work. Just near our home in Salt Lake City, there
is one miserable old fellow who has not yet been called to
account for his numerous crimes and villainies. In his younger
days he was one of these secret police, and, to judge from his
language, his only regret now is that he is no longer fit for
active service. He has often told a neighbor of mine, who he
believes is a good Mormon, that nothing would give him more
pleasure than to serve my husband and myself as he thinks
we deserve-simply because we have dared to oppose Mormonism. The wife of one of the men whom we had suspected,
not long after came to see me and told me that she did not
doubt that her husband had been engaged in the affair, for she
had accused him of it and he had not denied it.  It seems
58t 
WHERE THE BLAME REALLIY LIES.
perhaps strange that any wife should act thus, but this poor
woman had a great regard ior me, but none at all for her husband who treated her most brutally.
I shall never forget that night. I declared that henceforth
I would tear from my heart every association- every memory every affection, which still remained to bind me to Mormonism  not one solitary link should be left.  Henceforth I
would be the declared and open enemy of the Priesthood. To
the utmost of my power weak though I might be I would
arouse the women of Utah to a sense of the wrongs which
they endured; I would proclaim to the world the disgrace
which Mormonism is to the great American nation, the foul
blot that it is upon Christianity and the civilisation of the age!
I do not blame the mass of the Mormon people that such
outrages as this can be perpetrated in their midst,-I blame
the Priesthood, and I blame the leaders and their teachings.
I know the honest hearts of the Mormon community at large,
and that as a body they revolted at the atrocious wrong that
had been done to us. Although no one who valued their
standing in the Church dared openly express what they felt,
hundreds did so in private; while the whole Gentile community was aroused and indignant, and letters came from all parts
of the country, and visitors daily called upon me to express
their sympathy.
My son-in-law, Joseph A. Young, on the night of the attack
offered a reward to the chief of the police, for the apprehension of the ruffians; but we knew well enough they would
never be discovered. A few Gentile friends also offered a
reward of five hundred dollars for any evidence that might
lead to their identification, but nothing, of course, was elicited.
The Mormon paper, in order to divert attention from the guilty
parties, insinuated that the outrage had been provoked by
some family difficulty, and suggested that the brothers of my
husband's second, and now divorced, wife were the offenders.
This I knew was utterly false, for they were respectable young
men who would have scorned such an action, and between
them and my husband not the slightest ill feeling existed. I
582 
BRIGHAM AFRAID OF PERJURY!
therefore sent a letter to Belinda, telling her what had been
said and asking her to write to me stating that it was all
untrue. I felt.sure that she would willingly comply with my
request, and I proposed, as I informed her, to publish her
reply, and thus exonerate her brothers from all blame.
A lady who was present when Belinda received the note,
told me that she asked her mother, who was also there at the
time, what she should do about it, and that her mother said"You had better take the letter to Brother Brigham, and do
whatever he counsels you to do." She did so, and Brother
Brigham told her to pay no attention to it. Brigham did not
care whether her brothers or any one else were disgraced, or
who was made the scapegoat, so that the vile minions of the
Priesthood might escape undetected.
The suggestion that a personal difficulty or a family matter
had provoked the outrage was by no means a new one. In the
s      a       m      e way the "Indians" had been credited with many a deed
of                           blood when Apostates fleeing from Zion were found murdered and horribly mangled in the Carons or on the Plains.
The same course also was adopted when Dr. Robinson, of
whom I have already spoken, was assassinated. On the following Sunday, in the Tabernacle, Brigham Young suggested
that the doctor had met his death in a gambling quarrel, and
that some man whom he had personally wronged had dealt the
fatal blow. But every one in Salt Lake City —whether Mormon or Gentile, Brigham  Young included-knew that Dr.
Robinson was innocent of any gambling predilections, and
was the last man to make a personal enemy. Then Brigham
offered a reward of five hundred dollars for the discovery of
the murderers; but subsequently, when several of the brethren
had been arrested, charged with that very crime, and indictments against them had been found by the Grand Jury, he
withdrew his offer lest, as he said, some evil-minded person
might commit perjury for the sake of the reward!
It was the same with ourselves. Every one could conjecture with tolerable accuracy who it was that had planned the
outrage, but the reward which was offered was, as we well
583 
THE RESULT OF TABERNACLE TEACHINGS.
knew it would be, all in vain. Good Mormons did not dare to
express their thoughts; but we all knew that the outrage was
the direct result of the teachings of the Tabernacle, and that
although the authorities might not, and probably did not,
directly command it, they connived at it, and never took the
first step towards the discovery of the wretched scoundrels
who perpetrated the deed.
584
J 
CHAPTER XLII.
AMUSING TROUBLES OF MY TALKATIVE FRIEND-CHAR              LOTTE WITH THE GOLDEN HAIR!
Another Visit from my Talkative Friend-A preliminary Fuss-" The picture of
Despair? "-He did it on Purpose-"That little Shrimp of a Girl"-Hei
red hair: "Charlotte's hair is Golden! "-A Little Hasty!-An Object of In terest-" My husband is a Man"-"You  can't calculate a Man "-A nice
Question of Privilege-Rather too much to Manage-A nice Young Woman
of Thirty-Five or so!-Stout in Proportion-Old enough to be his Grand mother, and Squinted-Getting used to a proposed Bride-Watching a Tru ant Husband-Not the least Jealous?-A curious kind of Church-Meeting! Keeping up his Dignity-" Enjoying themselves without me! "-A little "Un pleasantness "-Charlotte's Scratched  Face-She  didn't like such  "Acci dents"-"  My Henry and that Girl! "-Millinery and  Prays-Bringing a
Husband to Reason-Wife against Wife-Too busy to Apostatise.
OT long after our separation from the Mormon Church, I
received another visit from my talkative friend.
As according to her custom she was making a preliminary
"fuss" at the door before entering, I heard her voice, and was
at a loss to conjecture whether she came for the purpose of
lamenting my apostacy and entreating my immediate return
to the bosom of the Church, or to condole with me concerning the brutal outrage to which we had been subjected. In
both suppositions I was, however, mistaken-she came to talk
about her own woes.
"You'll be surprised, my dear Sister Stenhouse," she said,
"'to see me looking so utterly miserable. I'm sure I must
look the picture of despair, and I feel it.  You don't know 
"HE DID IT ON PURPOSE!"
what I've been suffering, and how shamefully I have been
used."
"You look very well I think, but I'm sorry to hear you have
met with any difficulty," said I, when she stopped for a moment to take breath.
"Oh, you may say so," she replied, "but you know you
don't think so in your heart. Why, I did not even stop to put
on my bonnet straight," she said, stealing a look at the glass,
"and I ran all the way here, for I felt as if I should die if I
could not pour my sorrows into the bosom of some faithfulhearted friend.  Oh! I have been treated shamefully, and I
feel it the more as you know what a reserved woman I am and
how seldom it is that I open my lips about family matters,
even to my dearest friends!"
" Well, but," I said, "what really is the matter?  You have
not yet told me what your trouble is."
"Sister Stenhouse," she said, "you have had a few little
vexations in the course of your life, I know, but they are
nothing to compare to the frightful indignities that I have
suffered in the course of the last few days. I never thought
I should come to this!  I hate every man in the place and I
detest my husband most of all, and I loathe his wives, and I
execrate Brother Brig-"
"Why, Sister Ann, what can have happened?" I exclaimed,
interrupting her.
"Happened!" she cried, starting from her chair in indigna-,
tion, "I tell you, Sister Stenhouse, nothing has'happened'nothing was done by chance-he did it all with his eyes open
and against my advice-I tell you he did it on purpose!"
"Did what?" I asked, "and who was it that did it?"  But
by this time I had begun to form a shrewd guess as to who
the culprit was.
"Why, he married that wretched little shrimp of a girl, with
blue eyes, and red hair, and a die-away, lackadaisical mannerit was he-my husband, Henry-he married her this very day,
and I tell you he did it on purpose!"
"I'm sorry that it annoys you," I said, "but really I am sur
586 
CHARLOTTE WITH THE GOLDEN HAIR.
prised after all you have said to me that you should care if he
had taken half-a-dozen wives, to say nothing of the one he
married this morning, and who you say is only a very little
one.
"It doesn't matter the size, Sister Stenhouse," she said, "but
the color of the eyes and the shade of the hair matters a great
deal. If that miserable little minx had had black hair or green
eyes I daresay Henry would not have cared two straws about
her, unless he had done it out of sheer perversity, for all men
are made of the same contrary stuff. But he dotes on blue eyes;
I heard him myself tell her so one day, when I was listening
to them through the crack of the door, and they didn't know I
was so near. But my wounded feelings would not suffer me
to remain silent, and I bounced in, and, said I,-Henry, how
dare you talk such outrageous nonsense to that child in my
presence?
"' But I didn't know you were present,' he said.
"I tell you," said I, "I'm quite disgusted with you; a man
with three wives and me one of them-to go talking twaddle
to a little chattering hussy like that, with her cat's eyes and
her red hair!"
"' Golden hair, my dear,' he said,' Charlotte's hair is golden.'
I say red!-it's straight, staring red-as red as red can be,
I told him; and then we had a regular fight over it. I don't
mean that we came to blows, but we had some hot words, and
he went out and left us two alone. Then that young hussy
was impudent, and I don't know how it was, but, somehow,
when we left off our conversation I found some of Charlotte's
red hair between my fingers; and there"-she said, innocently,
holding out quite a respectable sized tuft of auburn hair,"there; I put it to you, Sister Stenhouse, is that red, or is it
not?"
I was about to reply; but, without waiting an instant, she
dashed the stolen locks to the ground, and said —" I daresay
Sister Stenhouse, you think me a little hasty, and yet among
my friends I've always been quite proverbial for the calmness
and evenness of my temper; but I've been tried very much
587
11 
THE PROVERBIAL CONSTANCY OF WOMEN!
lately, and-if only you would not keep interrupting me, dear!if you'd just allow me to say a word or two in my turn!-I'd
tell you something that would open your eyes to the ingratitude and wickedness of men. I don't wonder that you have
left the Church; I am thinking of doing so myself, and you
won't wonder at it when you hear what I've got to say. What
do you say to my leaving the Church?  Won't people be
astonished? But I declare, Sister Stenhouse, I do seriously
-mean to leave the Church as soon as I get my new bonnet "
"Why your new bonnet?" I asked in surprise.
"Because, dear, I shall become an object of interest. All
the sisters will have their eyes upon me, and even Gentiles
will say There's a lady who had the courage to leave the
Mormon Church and quit an ungrateful husband who was not
worthy of her. And you know, Sister Stenhouse, it would not
do to have people looking at me and talking about me before I
got my new bonnet."
This was a rather amusing reason for delay in changing
one's religion, but it was quite characteristic of my friend.  So
I humored her a little and tried to get her to explain how it
all came about.
"Oh yes," she said, "I ought to have told you that before, but
I was so angry at what had just happened that I forgot everything else.  The fact is, my husband is a man, and there's no
calculating what a man will do. Women, you kn6w, are proverbial for the constancy of their affections and their slowness
in changing their minds you know when you're talking to a
woman that she is a woman, and you know exactly what to do
with her; but with a man it's quite different. You can't calculate a man-you can't fathom him. When you've been
thinking one way and another, and at last begin to fancy you
know what to do, why then, a man-if it's him you've got to
do with-will turn just round, and while you've been making
everything smooth for him to do one thing, he'll go and do
exactly the opposite. I know what men are by this time, and
I speak from experience.
"It was just so with Henry and this girl.  He has gone 
RATHER MORE THAN SHE COULD MANAGE.
quite against the grain with me, and I feel it all the more because he used to be so quiet and anxious to do exactly what I
wanted. But he doesn't care a fig now whether I'm pleasedor not-he only thinks about this red-headed girl. In fact he's
quite crazy about her, and if there's any sin in apostacy, you
may remember that it was he who drove me into it."
"That seems hardly fair," I said, "for you knew all along
that it was his privilege to take more wives."
That's very true," she exclaimed, "it is his privilege to
take wives, but it's my privilege to choose them for him. I'm
a good Mormon and I don't mind how many wives my husband takes, if he'll only act reasonably about getting them.
But, Sister Stenhouse, I do not want a parcel of girls about the
house. I'm so far from wishing to usurp authority, that, as I
told Henry, I would not mind if his wives were even a little
older than me, but I won't have them younger. It makes
Henry look so silly. Why, to see him with that girl Charlotte,
now, who isn't more than half my own age —No; I don't mean
that, I mean she's slightly younger than I am-you might
really almost imagine that he thought more of her than he
does of me. I know he doesn't, for he has told me so, but
any one to see them together would get quite a wrong impression."
"When did he marry Charlotte?" I asked. "You spoke so
hastily, Sister Ann, that I did not quite understand you."
"When? Why he married her this morning, as I thought
I told you-he has only just done it. He said he was anxious
to be in a quiet state of mind to-day, so I gave him a piece of
my mind, and he was so astonished at the pointed way in
which I explained to him what a fool he'd been making of
himself that he quite showed it in his face. The fact is, Sister
Stenhouse, he has lately become rather more than I could
manage. About six months ago he seemed, I thought, to be
getting a little inattentive to his last wife, so I thought it was
quite time for me to see about finding him another.  So I
looked round, but didn't for some time meet with a suitable
person. At last I found a very nice young woman, thirty-five
589, 
A NICE, MOTHERLY WOMAN!
or forty years of age, who I thought would do. She was nice
and tall-a little taller than Henry himself, but that didn't
matter for she was stout in proportion. Henry would have it
that she didn't look straight with her two eyes, but that was
all nonsense. She was a nice, motherly woman, with a deep
bass voice which sounds so well in large, fat women; but
though she wasn't what you would call handsome, she certainly
wasn't plain. My reason in choosing her was that I thought
she would do nicely for the housework and could look after
the children, for I was forced to stay at home so much that it
was quite injuring my health."
"A very good reason," I said.
"So I thought, dear," she replied; "but I could not bring
Henry to see it in that light. Whenever I spoke to him
about her he said she was old enough to be his grandmother, and squinted. At last I got quite tired out, for I
could never get him to call upon her, and when she came to
the house he hardly said a word to her; so I got her to come
and stay with us, for then I thought Henry would become
accustomed to her presence.  But he took to holding his
tongue at meal times-the only times when we all met
together-and it was as much as I could do to keep up the
conversation, for you know I am naturally very. taciturn.
Therfhe suddenly took to attending all the Church meetings,
and it was astonishing how many he discovered it was his duty
to attend, he seemed to be absent almost every evening. The
mystery to me was, what could have made him so pious all of
a sudden-he seemed altogether too good You can understand, Sister Stenhouse, that had there been any young girl
at the meetings, to whom he had taken a fancy, it would have
been useless for them to try to throw dust in my eyes-you
know that I'm not likely to be deceived?"
I said that I did know it, and she continued:
"There was one of the brethren-a near neighbor of ours,
who, between ourselves, I think rather admires me, for he said
once quite publicly that I beat every one he knew in conversation, and if that's not a compliment, I don't know what is:
590 
DOUBLY WATCHFUL!
well, this brother I got to watch my husband. I told him that
I did not want him to act as a spy upon his movements, as
that would have been very mean. I only wanted him to watch
carefully all that he said and did at the meetings and to notice
who he spoke to, and if it was a meeting where women were
admitted, to be doubly watchful, and especially to notice how
he looked when he talked with any one. You see, Sister, I
agree with you that it is quite right for us to look closely after
our husbands, although, of course, I would be the last one to
encourage a system of espionage."
I ventured to suggest that I had not expressed any opinion
at all about watching our husbands, and said I believed there
were not half-a-dozen women in Salt Lake City who would
dare to think of such a thing.
"Well, never mind all that, Sister Stenhouse," she said, "If
you did not have that opinion you might have had it, and it
comes to much the same thing. I used to see the good brother
I spoke of very frequently-in fact, almost every day-and the
first question I always asked was -Did my husband come to
meeting last night? As often as not he said he didn't know for
he hadn't been himself, and after a month or more I had learned
nothing, except that my husband was never seen with aalady
at any of the meetings. This was all very well; but so certain was I that all his dressing and titivation was not done for
nothing, and that he wouldn't be so pious without expecting to
get something in return-for he is a very good and sensible
man in all religious matters-that I resolved to take the
whole affair in hand myself, and ferret out the mystery, if
there really was one. The very next night he went out as
usual, and I, having dressed myself in readiness, followed him.
But we hadn't gone two minutes walk before I met the brother
I just mentioned, and, of course, I was compelled to stop and
tell him all about it; and, by the time we left off, my husband
was out of sight and it was no good looking after him. Some
people, when they begin to talk, you never know when they'll
end, and this good brother is one of them-you can't edge in
a word.
59I 
BROTHER HENRY'S "-CHURCH-MEETING!"
"Well, you see, now I was out it seemed a pity to go home,
without calling upon some one; so I went round to Sister
Ellis. They told me she was out and I was just going away
when, lo and behold, who should I see but my dear Henry
marching down the street in the direction of the theatre with
a red-headed girl hanging on his arm. Oh, said I to myself,
that's the kind of Church-meeting you go to my dear, is it?
They were so busy with one another-I never saw Henry
look worse or more stupid in my life-that they didn't see me
at all. I did not cross over to them, for I felt too much compassion for their folly to wish to interrupt them then. Go on,
my dears, I thought; make the most of your opportunity for
I'll answer that one of you won't go to the theatre again for
some time.  I wasn't the least bit jealous-jealousy is a sentiment that could never dwell in my bosom-but I did hate
the sight of that odious girl, and I resolved to take my husband
in hand immediately."
"Well Sister," I said, "I should have thought that his finding
a wife for himself would have saved you a world of trouble."
"Oh dear no, Sister Stenhouse," she replied, "it was trouble
I did not want to be saved. Men have no business, in my
opinion, to choose their own wives, after the first. I knew the
men do do it, one and all; but it's a shameful stretch of authority.
I should like to know whether it is not of much more consequence to me what wife my husband has than it is to him?
However, I resolved that my husband should never marry the
red-headed girl, and the very next morning I told him so, and
what do you think the inhuman creature said?'You've been
persuading me all these years, he said,'to take another wife,
although I've already got three, and now I've begun to do so
you blame me. I think I've as good a right as any one to say
who I'll marry and who I won't.'  Did you ever hear of such
ingratitude? Would you hear of such a thing from your
husband, Sister Stenhouse?"
I told her that with Mormonism my husband had given up
Polygamy; and she continued:
"Well, I tried to bring him to reason, but it was of no use.
592 
"WAS IT NOT SHAMEFUL?"
And then I told him that the girl should never set foot inside
the house while I was in it. This was a very unfortunate
speech, for I do believe that up to that time he wanted as
much as possible to keep the girl out of my way; but the
moment I said that, to show his dignity I suppose, he declared
that she should come to tea with us that very afternoon, and
he would go and fetch her; and he did so. I woilldn't go
down to tea at first, though both the other wives were there
and he sent up for me, but my pride would not allow me to
stoop. At last I got tired of being all alone, and as it occurred
to me that perhaps they might be enjoying themselves without me, I resolved to go down and see if I could not do
something to annoy them.  Down  I went, and Henry, all
smiling, introduced the girl to me as'Sister Charlotte,' talking
of her as if he had known her for years. Was it not
shameful?"
"It must have been very awkward for you," I said.
"It was indeed, Sister Stenhouse, and I soon made it
awkward for them; I assure you, after I joined them, there
was not a soul present who had a moment's comfort till that
girl went away. My husband, however, took her home,and
from that very day he seemed resolved to have the upper
hand. He never for a moment would listen to a word I said
about the girl; he brought her in every evening and took her
to the theatre constantly, and paid her ten times more attention than he ever paid me.  I wasn't jealous, Sister Stenhouse;
no one-as I said before-could ever suspect me of jealousy,
but I did hate that girl. If he had not loved her, I can't saywhether I myself might not have liked her. But the very
fact of him loving her makes me detest her, but its only a
little proper pride on my part-I'm not in the least jealous,
Oh dear no!"
"Of course not," I said.
"I don't know about that," she said, "I've borne enough
from those two to drive fifty women crazy with jealousy and
things went on from bad to worse, until the other day when,
as I told you, we had that little unpleasantness.  My husband
36
593 - 
" THAT DETESTABLE LITTLE VIXEN!"
when he came back was downright angry, and made use of
shocking language, and told me that, if he could not have
peace in the house, he would have me board out by myself in
some other part of the city. He said that I had scratched
Charlotte's face and torn out her -hair; but that was quite
untrue, as I told him; and as for the hair which fell out, it was
all an accident. He said that Charlotte did not like such accidents and that he would not put up with it. He was very
cross and disagreeable all the rest of the day and made me
quite miserable and broken hearted, and the next day, to wind
it all up, he told me that he and Charlotte had arranged the
day of the wedding. I stormed and raved, for I had fully
resolved that, marry whom he might, he should never marry a
girl if he really loved her or if I had not chosen her. But it
was of no use  I was forced to go over with him to the
Endowment House to give him that detestable little vixen. I
tell you, Sister SteUnhouse, I hate her; and oh, oh, dear what
shall I do now my husband has fallen in love with her!"
Here, tp my infinite astonishment, she rose from her seat
and rushed about the room, wringing her hands and exclaiming, "Oh dear! Oh dear!" She then threw herself right
down on the couch and actually burst into tears,'crying out
"Oh dear, what shall I do with my Henry and that girl!"
I raised her up and tried to comfort her as well as I could,
but she was a very awkward woman to deal with under such
circumstances.  The more gently I spoke to her, the more
violent did she become, and the louder were her lamentations.
She forgot that she had been the cause of her husband taking
any plural wives at all, and she upbraided him as the source
of all her woes. One moment she would denounce him as a
heartless wretch: then she would go into fits of maudlin sympathy over him, declaring that her Henry was the dearest man
alive until "that'horrid red-headed girl" led him astray. "Oh
dear, dear Sister Stenhouse," she exclaimed as she threw both
her arms round my neck and covered me with tears-"never
do as I have done-never get a wife for your husband again,
or he'll learn to do it for himself. And, oh, Sister Stenhouse
594 
MAKING A WEDDING-DAY PLEASANT!
let us kneel down and ask the Lord to strengthen us in this
hour of tribulation; and, oh," she added piteously, "I should
take it such a very great favor, Sister, if you wouldn't mind
trimming that bonnet for me-you've got such taste!"
I assured her that I would trim the bonnet or do anything
else that would help to assuage her grief. So she had her cry
out and then she went on talking. She stopped and had some
lunch, and still she talked; and at last when a little girl came
round with a message from her husband saying that she was
wanted at home, she left me in the middle of a long speech in
which she'was explaining the steps which she meant to take
to bring her Henry "to reason," and to compel him to obtain
a divorce from "that red-headed hussy."
The same evening she came again.  This time she brought
with her the bonnet and the materials for trimming it, and I
promised her that she should have but a little while to wait;
for she said she was overflowing with anxiety to quit the'Iormon Church, and she felt convinced that that could not properly
be done by any one wearing an old or dowdy bonnet. She
had had a warm time with the bride and bridegroom, and
seemed quite cheerful at the thought that she had thoroughly
spoilt the happiness of their wedding-day, for she had left
them both with ruffled tempers and in the worst of humors.
After that she was almost always with me until the bonnet
was finished, which was not until a couple of days later, for I
was delayed by some more important matters which unexpectedly engaged my attention; and when she went away she was
as lavish with her thanks and praises as she was with her
promises respecting the mighty things which she was going to
do, and the bright example she would become to the women of
Utah.
I did not see her for several weeks, and then I accidentally
met-her in the street, and asked her why she had not called
upon me lately. She was wearing the new bonnet, but I had
heard nothing about her apostacy.
"Oh, Sister Stenhouse," she said, "I'm delighted to see you!
You've been constantly in my thoughts, but I've been so hard
595 
TOO BUSY TO APOSTATISE.
at work-Oh, so busy, that I really had not time for anything
-not even to apostatise."
"How was that?" I asked.
"Oh," she replied, "when I thought over the matter I saw
very clearly that it wouldn't do to render myself conspicuous
with this old dress. The bonnet's very nice and I want to
thank you, dear, for the trimming; but I must wait till I get
that silk dress which Henry says I really shall have soon.
I'm not so very sure though whether he would give me the
dress if I were to apostatise, so I'd better wait and get it first.
Then, too, you see I've had my hands full.- If you want to
make a man slight one woman and get tired of her, there's
nothing like putting a nicer woman than her in his way. So
I reconsidered the matter and resolved, cost what it might,
I'd get another wife for my husband right away.  I don't care
now whether she's old or young, ugly or pretty, so long as she
cuts gut that detestable red-headed girl. I've run all over the
town and rushed about here and there, all for his sake, though
he'll never be grateful for it; and now at last, do you know,
dear, I really do think I've got the girl I want. She's all dark
-dark hair, dark eyes, dark complexion.  If he marries her,
as I mean him to do, she'll lead him a fine life, notwitfstandming all her winning ways. I wouldn't stand in his shoes when
she's his wife; but I know I shall be able to manage her, for I
have a deeper insight into character than he has, and a better
command of temper. She'll teach Miss Charlotte to keep her
place, and she'll make Henry mind too.  It'll do him good;I've done it all out of love to him, not a spark of jealousy or
ill feeling, as you are well aware."
The idea of setting one wife against another, in order to
keep the peace, would appear in the case of my talkative
friend to have been successful; for, sure enough, six months
after the time of which  I have just spoken, her Henrydid
marry the dark beauty, and she and her auburn predecessor
presented an interesting contrast when they chanced to appear
in the street together in the company of their husband.  There
did not seem to be much love lost between them.
596
0 *4 
"AT LEAST SEVEN WIVES!"
Successful in her plans, and having, as she said, now
brought her Henry to reason, my talkative friend gave up all
idea of leaving the Church, and when I last saw her she said
"I'm busy now looking after a likely girl, for I do think a man
in my Henry's position ought to live his religion and have at
least seven wives!-seven, you know, is such a very lucky
number;'
0
597
0 
CHAPTER XLIII.
AFTER WE LEFT THE CHURCH-INTERESTING FACTS AND
FIGURES-THE MORMONISM AND MORMONS OF TO-DAY.
After We  Left the Church-Beginning Life Afresh-The Coldness of Our
Former Friends-Disposing of the Daily Telegraph-How Fuller Flourished:
Ran a Paper and Ran Away-Our New Position-My Husband Goes East Effects of the "New Movement"-" Zion's Co-operative Mercantile Insti tution "-Brigham's Store-" Country-folks Seeking After a Sign "-n Old
Lady's Stock in the "Coop "-A Pound and a half of Nails!-The "Order of
Enoch "-The Crowning Swindle!-The Very Vilest Slavery of All-How
Reporters and Visitors are Fooled by Brigham-The Ladies' Petitions-Legal ising the Marriage of Children!-The Franchise Conferred on Mormon
Women-How Unanimously they Vote!-The Ballot Farce in Utah-How
they Allowed the Mules to Vote!-Finery versus Faith-The Position in Utah
To-day-The Apostacy of Brother Brigham's Son-Some Singular Statistics
Undoing the Past.
"The world was all before them where to choose
Their place of rest: with Providence their guide,
They hand in hand with trembling steps and slow,
Through Eden took their solitary way."
Paradise Lost.
HEN we left the Mormon Church, we were not quite as
badly off as were our first parents when they began life,
although in some respects we certainly resembled them. The
world was all before us, and it was.necessary that we also 
THE CRISIS OF  OUR LIVES.
should choose a place of rest; but it was by no means an
Eden from which we were dismissed,- or, rather, had dismissed ourselves,-and in the matter of experience in the
thorny ways of that world in which we were about to begin
afresh the battle of existence, we certainly had the advantage
over the exiles from Paradise.
The crisis of our own lives had now arrived; - the act of
sending in our resignation as members of the Church cut us
off from all the associations of the past and all the friendships
and pleasant intimacies of so many years;-a great gulf divided
our by-gone life from the unknown future which lay before us.
My husband was now made painfully aware that it was altogether useless for him to attempt to carry on his paper, for his
subscribers, as I before stated, had been "counselled" to discontinue taking it in.  The Daily Telegraph had had a very
large circulation, but as there was very little money in the
Territory, the yearly subscriptions were mostly paid at harvest
time, and many of them in grain. At the time, therefore,
when the paper was finally given up, the Mormon people, as
the book-keeper in Ogden informed me, owed about twenty
thousand dollars; but when it was discovered that we were
"Apostates," the majority of them considered that they were
released from all obligations on that score, and my husband
being an easy, generous-minded man, most of them evaded
payment. The idea that, because we had left the Church, no
Saint was bound to pay us any debts which they might happen at the time to owe, was the natural result of the teachings
of the Tabernacle.   Apostates are delivered over to "the
buffetings of Satan," and the Saints consider it is their duty
to begin in this world their master's work of castigation. Any
ill turn that can be done to an Apostate is consequently a
good action in the opinion of the Mormons, and they neglect
no opportunity of showing that these are the sentiments which
influence them.
Although we had now left the Mormon Church, never to
return, my husband could not at once shake off entirely that
influence which had so long held him captive. His thoughts
599 
BEGINNING LIFE AFRESH.
and belief, his hopes and almbitions, had for a quarter of a
century all pointed in one direction, and the very idea of
rebellion on his part against the authority of the Priesthood,
would, but a very little while before the time of which I speak,
have been considered by him an utter impossibility. It was
impossible, in a few short months only, to undo the work of
five-and-twenty years-the best years of his life. He could
no longer remain in the Church or conscientiously support
Brigham Young; but he had not outgrown Mormonism suffi ciently to enable him to throw off the yoke entirely and make
his paper an opponent of Brigham and his faith.  Could he
have done so, I think it is highly probable that the Telegraph
might yet have been saved, for I know that many of the more
influential of the Gentiles would have aided him materially in
such a course.  As it was, nothing remained but to give it up
with the best grace he could.
Two offers in reference to the paper were received by Mr.
Stenhouse, and it remained for him to decide which he would
accept. One of them came from a Gentile, who proposed to
run it in opposition to Brigham Young, and the other came
from a certain Mr. Fuller, who had for some time been my
husband's travelling agent, and was a very intimate fflend of
John W. Young, Brigham's youngest son by his first wife.
:We knew that this Mr. Fuller had nothing beyond his salary,
'but, as the friend of Brigham's son, we thought that probably
it was the Prophet's wish that he should have this paper and
we believed that he-was simply buying it for the Church. My
husband argued that, although he could no longer unite with
the Mormons, he could at least refrain from doing them any
injury; he therefore concluded that, rather than let the paper
go into the hands of an avowed enemy, he would sell it to Mr.
Fuller, who, on account of his friendship for the Prophet's
family, would, he presumed, try to be just to the people.
This, no doubt, was very conscientious and just, although,
of course, no Mormon would give my husband credit for entertaining such sentiments. For my own part, I naturally
wished him to accept the offer that would pay him best, which 
OUR NEW POSITION.
was that made by the Gentile.  He could not, however, bring
his mind to do this. The paper,, therefore, was sold to Mr.
Fuller, who ran it for a few months and then himself ran
away, leaving behind him debts enough to swallow up eveything. Thus ended the Telegraph under that name, but destined, however, to rise again as the Salt Lake Herald-a paper
devoted to the interests of Brigham and the Priesthood. To
my husband it was an utter loss, but it was hardly fair that
his conscientious conduct should meet with such an ill return.
It was now necessary that some steps should be taken to
provide for our family. The reader may, perhaps, remember
that when we first arrived in Salt Lake City, as I stated, I myself engaged in business until my husband was able to find'
some suitable and profitable employment. When the Telegraph, however, was established and proved such a great success, and we were in a position of affluence, I considered-the
pressure of necessity being removed-that I should do well to
resign my own business connection and employ my time more
profitably in domestic affairs. This was a great relief to me,
for I always felt considerable repugnance to mixing with the
world in the way of business, while among my children and
attending to their wants and interests I found myself if! my
own legitimate sphere. But there was now no alternative
All interest in the Teleg6~at had been resigned; myshusband's property had been wasted in an attempt to keep it up,
.and he had nothing now to depend upon. Something must
be done, and I resolved that I would not be backward in bearing my full share of the burden.
It was only natural that we should feel very much unsettled
in mind by the great change which had taken place in our
position, for it is no easy matter to cut asunder the ties and
associations of a life-time. Any one suddenly changing his
religious faith would, to a certain extent, feel and understand
what I mean in this respect. But in reference to any ordinary
religion, the person forsaking it would probably experience
comparatively little alteration in his every-day life.  In Mormonism it is very different, especially to any one who  has
6oi 
THE BREAKING OF BONDS.
occupied a prominent position among the Saints.  To resign
our religion was to revolutionize our lives.  Every thing was
changed: the friends of years would look coldly on us and
at,oid us; persons whom we hlad before shunned as Gentiles
or Apostates would be the only individuals who would regard
us with favor;-our entire position in the midst of a most exclusive community was completely reversed; in a word, we
ourselves were now "Apostates!"
Thinking to turn the current of his thoughts, and believing
that change would be beneficial to him, I suggested to my husband that he should pay a visit to the Eastern States.  In
New York I believed he could find employment which would
help to divert his thoughts from Mormon affairs and, at the
same time, would be profitable to him in other respects. My
suggestion was acted upon, and my husband set out East,
while I prepared to engage again in the same business which
I had formerly conducted so successfully.
Now, for the first time since I embraced Mormonism, I
mixed freely with Gentiles and those who had left the Church,
and it was not long before I found that this intercourse with
the outer world produced a marked and decided effect upon
my mind. My views were enlarged and my thoughts'became
more liberal in their tone. My husband's letters showed me
that a similar change was taking place in him.
We were not the only Apostates from the Church at that
time.   The  New  Movement,  as the  reaction against the
tyranny of Brigham Young was called, was then in progress;
and the minds of all intelligent Saints were led to reflect upon
the unheard-of claims of Brigham's "Infallible" Priesthood.
At this time the Prophet endeavored to rivet still more firmly
the fetters which bound his deluded followers, by establishing
"Zion's Cooperative Mercantile Institution" and reviving
the "Order of Enoch."
The Cooperative Institution was announced as a joint-stock
concern, established under the pretence that it would be a
benefit to the working classes, and all the members of the
Church were invited to purchase shares, which were sold at
602
4 
THE  "CO-OP."
twenty-five dollars each. The statement so often made by
Brigham and repeated by strangers, to the effect that the exorbitant prices charged by Gentile merchants necessitated the
establishment of such an institution was, as every Mormon
knows, only a pretence, and a very shallow one, too; for the
Walker Brothers and other merchants had, for many years,
supplied goods to Mormons and Gentiles alike, at what, under
the circumstances, were reasonable and just prices; for the
railway not then being constructed, and every article of commerce being of necessity carried across the  Plains-a distance of over a thousand miles-by horse-teams, prices were,
of course, very high, and would, if this circumstance were not
taken into consideration, appear extortionate. In fact, subsequently, the "Cooperative" stores, which had started with high
rates, under the belief that every rival would be crushed, were
compelled to lower their prices to those of the Walker Brothers, or, in spite of their faith, the Mormons would have forsaken Brigham's Institution for the sake of their pockets.
Many, in fact, did secretly go to Gentile stores, but they were
watched by the police and reported to the teachers.
That large Mormon store, in which Brigham Youngwhad
such a heavy interest, was to become the parent establishment,
the fountain-head from which temporal blessings, in the shape
of cheap goods of every description, were to flow unto the
people.  Each Ward was to have its own store, and there the
Saints of that Ward were expected to deal exclusively, and, as
the teachers said, "keep off Main street where the Gentile
stores were located."   These Ward-stores purchased their
goods from the parent store where nothing was sold by wholesale.
All the lesser Mormon Merchants were "counselled" to sell
out their stock to the Church, for just what the Church chose
to offer them, or dispose of it otherwise as best they could,
and then they might go farming, or on mission, or anything
else-but sell out they must, for they were plainly told that they
would not be allowed to carry on business in opposition to the
new Institution.
603 
SEEKI0NG AFTER A SIGN!
O
Now, instead of benefitting the poorer Saints, by supplyinrg
goods to them at a small advance upon cost prices, as was at
first proclaimed to be the object of the "Co-op "-as the In stitution was briefly and familiarly called the reverse was the
case, for competition was altogether banished. All the trade
of the Gentile merchants-with one or two exceptions-was
forcibly taken from them, for the people were not to trade in
any store without first looking to see if the sign of the Institution  a picture of "The All-seeing Eye," and the words
"Holiness unto the Lord "-were over the door-way.  How
often I have seen groups of country people straggling along,
with their heads thrown back and'their eyes straining aloft in
eager quest of that sign, although perhaps their purchases
would only amount to a few yards of ribbon or a paper of
pins!
No one can predict what the Church-otherwise Brighamwill do, if money should chance to tempt him. In this case,
the parent Cooperative store turned, as I might say, traitor to
the Ward-stores its own children for no sooner had they
all been established, and had bought up all the old stock from
the parent store, than it was whispered abroad that the latter
was about to open in the retail line with a splendidstock of
new goods-to suit the Gentiles, of course; for the Saints
were not allowed to trade outside of their own Ward-stores,
where they were expected to buy up all the old goods. In
fact, in order to gain Gentile trade and fill the pockets of Brigham and the leading Elders who really constituted the Institution (and do so still), the same prices were asked at the parent
store as had been charged the poor, confi(fing stock-holders of
the Ward-stores at wholesale. This, of course, caused great
dissatisfaction, and many of the Saints rebelled, declaring they
would go where they pleased to spend their money, when they
had any to spend. The Ward-stores, in consequence, were
obliged, at great loss, to lower their prices, and many were
utterly ruined. Others which had more capital tided over the
difficulty, and learned a lesson concerning the honesty of the
Church leaders which it is to be hoped did them good
Il
604 
THE "ORDER OF ENOCH."
As an example of the way in which matters were nanaged,
I may instance a very old and infirm woman  who was one of
their victims.  She came to me one day and said, "Sister
Stenhouse, will you buy out my stock in the Cooperative store?'
Our store has failed, and I have my twenty-five dollars' worth
in my basket. I pitied her and asked her to let me see her
stock, and thereupon she brought out a pound and a half of
nails! I did buy out her stock, for I thought that the nails
might be handy to have in the house, although I did not give
her twenty-five dollars for them. Another person-a Frenchman, whom I knew-bought a share, and when he saw certain
ruin looming over his Ward-store, he went to the headquarters
and purchased twenty-five dollars' worth of goods, and having
got them all secured, laid down his shareholders' receipt in
payment and beat a hasty retreat. He was a fortunate man
and acted prudently, but Alas! for the poor souls who ventured all their little savings in these Church "Institutions" and
then were left to poverty and starvation.
The "Order of Enoch" is the crowning swindle of all. Its
victims, under a legal form, make over to the Church every
cent of which they may be possessed, even to the very clothes
upon their backs, and place themselves -their whole lifeland
being-entirely at the command of "The Church."  They do,
in fact, literally make themselves slaves, only their slavery is
infinitely worse and more debasing than the bondage of the
Negro, for they give soul and mind, as well as body and goods,
utterly, absolutely, and for ever, into the iron grasp of the
Mormon Priesthood.  This "Order of tnoch" is quite a favorite institution with Brigham Young, who has lately been
preaching it up throughout Utah; and many hundred fanatical
and deluded Saints have at his instigation given-not sold, for
they receive nothing in return- themselves into this abject
slavery. And yet these are the institutions which "unprejudiced" newspaper reporters and editors, when they visit Utah,
and are, according to the fixed and ordinary custom  of
Brigham, treated and toadied to until, poor dupes, they think
that the favors they receive are simply marks of the appre
6o5 
GETTING UP LADIES' PETITIONS.
ciation ot the Mormons for their own conceited or deluded
selves personally, and not part and parcel of his system. these, I say, are the institutions which such visitors laud to
the skies when they speak of the Prophet's generosity, his
open-heartedness, his patriarchal benevolence, and his other
saintly virtues.
When we left the Church, these institutions were attracting
a good deal of attention among the Saints. The "Coopera tive" still flourishes, and the "Order of Enoch" has within the
last few weeks been gathering into its net,' not tens, but
hundreds of dupes.
About this time, also, it was that the Mormon women, under
the auspices of Eliza R. Snow anid the Female Relief Society,
got up that petition to Mrs. Grant, to which I have referred
in another place, begging her to use her influence with the
President in favor of a toleration of Polygamy. The names
to that petition were affixed without any reference to propriety
or right. Hundreds of names were copied from the books of
the Society without any permission being obtained, or even
asked, of their owners. It was then, as I before stated, that
the names of the dead were actually added as subscribers to
the petition, and in one case, when a lady mentioned that her
dead daughter had never belonged to the Church, as she died
before her mother heard of Mormonism, she was told that her
daughter would now, of course, have found out that Polygamy
was the true order of domestic life in heaven, and that she
would certainly be willing to subscribe if she could return to
earth. Her name was, therefore, added without any further
ceremony, although she had been dead a good many years.
In January, I872, a counter-petition was got up by the
Gentile and Apostate ladies. It set forth the cruel bondage
which Polygamy inflicts upon women; spoke of the heartless
conduct of the Mormon leaders, and of the murders and other
foul crimes which had been committed by them or at their
instigation; showed that, should Utah become a State, under
the name of Deseret,-which has ever been the ambition of
Brigham Young,- there would be no protection for life or
,606 
THE MARRIAGE OF CHILDREN LEGALISED!
property; stated that the authorities themselves had declared
that when statehood was conferred, Gentiles and Apostates
would have good cause to tremble; and, finally, prayed the
National Government to stretch forth its long arm of power
for the defence and protection of honest and law-abiding citizens. This petition was signed by four hundred and forty
ladies of Utah, most of them members of the Mormon Church,
whose real names were all fairly and openly affixed by their
own selves.  It was presented to the Senate by the Hon.
Schuyler Colfax then Vice-President; was read, discussed,
and ordered to be printed. As might be supposed, it excited
a great deal of angry discussion of the part of the Church
authorities; and the following Sundays the names of those
who had signed were read out in the Tabernacle, and strong
remarks made upon their conduct, in order to intimidate them
and prevent others from following their example. The consequence was that many of their husbands and  sons were
threatened with loss of employment, and they were thus
forced to retract.
That same year, a bill was brought into the Territorial
Legislature, providing that boys of fifteen years of age and
girls of twelve mnight legally contract marriage, with theconsent of their parents or guardians!  In stating this disgraceful
fact, I feel certain that the reader who has never lived among
the Saints and is not versed in Utah affairs will think that I
must be mistaken in what I say. It is, however, I am sorry
to say, only too true, and the records of the Legislature will
bear me witness. The fact was stated in the New York
Herald of January 27, 1 872.
It will be a matter of interest to the advocates of women's
suffrage to learn that Brigham Young conferred the franchise
upon the Mormon ladies. This, at first, appears to be a very
liberal measure; but let not the innocent reader be deceived
thereby.  The opening of the mines and the great influx of
Gentiles, consequent upon the completion of the Union Pacific
Railroad, proved very clearly to Brigham that the day might
come when the Gentiles would have an equality, if not a
607' 
A WAGON-LOAD OF LADY-VOTERS!
majority, of votes, and in that day the slavish despotism of
the Mormon Priesthood would be overthrown. The time,
certainly, was very far off, but it was wise to provide for contingencies. So a bill was brought in conferring upon women
the privilege of voting. No Mormon woman would for a
moment ever dream of voting otherwise than she was directed
by her husband, and no man would think of voting except as he
was "counselled" by the Priesthood. Thus, a man with half
a dozen wives would now have half -a dozen votes, and Brother
Brigham, instead of having only his own single vote, would
have nineteen for his nineteen wives, to say nothing of his
daughters and the whole ariy of spiritual wives which he might
produce. I have often seen one solitary man driving into the
City a whole wagon-load of women of all ages and sizes-they
were going to the poll, and their votes would be one! It is
very easy to see how in this way the influence of the Priesthood has been extended, and women themselves have been
made the instruments for rivetting still more firmly their own
fetters. But it is by no means easy to see that women in
Utah have derived any benefit from being permitted to vote.
Voting among the Saints has always been carried on in a
very free and easy manner. One gentleman-an'english
convert-not long since told me that when he had been less
than two months in the States, and, of course, was not naturalised, and had no rights as a citizen, he was "counselled" by
the Mormon leaders to give in his vote; he did so,'and, in
obedience to instructions received, he gave in also his wife's
vote and the vote of their little baby girl-an infant of only
a few months old-although that was before the voting of
women was legalised.
Others have voted two or three times, so as to make sure
that the Church should not lose their interest.  And this very
common practice of the same persons voting over and over
again renders all statistics given by Mormon authority utterly
untrustworthy. Besides which, the voting-tickets are all numbered, and the voters' names carefully registered in a book, so
that the Priesthood can tell at a moment's notice onewhich
*
6og8 
HOW THEY MADE THE MULES VOTE!
side, or for whom, a man has cast his vote. In this way the
ballot in Utah becomes a most ridiculous farce, instead of a
means for obtaining unbiassed and uninfluenced elections.
Anxious to obtain admission into the Union as a State, it is
the interest of Brigham Young and the leaders to swell the
numbers of the population by every means in their power.
For this they have strained every nerve to bring over converts
from abroad, and with the same object- to "build up the kingdom"-they have forced Polygamy upon the people. The most
unscrupulous measures have been resorted to, and it is even
said that on one occasion when a goodly show of names was
needed, not only were the names of the dead and of relations
and converts who had never been in the country at all, added
as subscribers to the document, but that they actually Christened their mules -conferring upon them the names of men,
and then made them vote also!
Notwithstanding the vigilance of the Priesthood, many
young Mormon ladies have preferred Gentile husbands, and
some of them have left the Territory; but they have been
invariably traduced and scandalised, and whenever the rumor
of misfortune occurring to any of them reached Salt Lake
City, it was retailed with undisguised gratification, as a sweet
morsel, by the Priesthood.  Some Mormon mothers, hating
the idea of their daughters marrying polygamists, have encouraged the addresses of Gentiles, and were only too glad to have
their children marry out of Mormonism.  Such mothers, of
course, are apostate in heart, although nominally they may not
have left the Church.
The extravagancies of modern dress render it every year
more and more difficult for men of moderate means to support
many wives.  Fashion is proving a deadly foe to Polygamy,
and the feminine taste for finery is in Utah helping to bring
about some really good practical results. There is now a
pleasing change noticeable in the plural marriages in Salt
Lake City. There are not nearly so many marriages of this
kind among the actual citizens as there were three or four
years ago. The opening of the mines and the construction of
37
.6o9 
HOW THE GIRLS REGARD POLYGAMY.
the railroad brought so many strangers among us that it
was impossible to withstand their influence. Many of our
young Mormon maidens have been beguiled into matrimony
by these wicked Gentiles, against whom Brother Brigham has
so often warned us; and not only so, but many good Saints
have apparently come to the conclusion that though Polygamy
was so absolutely necessary to their own salvation, it is not by
any means essential to the salvation of their daughters.
Thus, some of them have given their daughters to the sons of
strangers, to become in due time mothers of a race of wicked
Gentiles, and if one might judge from their conversation they
do not appear to regret it very much.
The dislike of the women to Polygamy has increased, especially in'Salt Lake City, although in the Settlements fanaticism is as rampant as ever, and the "Celestial" system is the
order of the day.  Young Mormon girls are disgusted when
whey hear young men and even boys talking of their "privileges," boasting how many wives they mean to take, and how
they will take two on the same day in order to preserve peace.
Girls of the slightest feeling or intelligence resent all this and
the more refined regard these little would-be Polygamists, and
all they say, with intense loathing and contempt. To Gentile
girls such insults are of course unknown, and the Mormon
girls, when they have the opportunity of mixing with the
outside world, are not slow to discover that while, if they
marry among people of their own faith, they will never occupy
their proper position in society, if they become Gentile wives
they will be the cherished companions and equals of the men
to whom they are united. Sensitive girls will say that they
would rather have a little less glory in the world to come and
have a little more comfort in this.
Then, too, the married women compare the condition of the
Gentile wives with their own, and the comparison is by no
means in favor of Polygamy. A polygamic wife who is one
of many and only sees her husband occasionally, and that as
a favor, cannot well visit a Gentile wife in her own home
without drawing a comparison by no means in favor of Mor
6io 
BROTHER BRIGHAM'S APOSTATE SON.
monism. Many Mormon wives have thus become unhappy;
and hence the most strenuous exertions are made on the part
of the leaders to prevent as far as possible all intercourse
between the Saints and the outside world. Notwithstanding
this, a leading attorney in Salt Lake City told me, that during
the year succeeding our abandonment of Mormonism, more
than one hundred first wives called upon him proposing to
enter suit for divorce and alimony, and this represents but a
small proportion of those who would sacrifice almost anything
if only they could escape from Polygamy.
Left to itself, Mormonism would long ago have perished, so
great has been the number of Apostates. But England and
Scandinavia furnish yearly a multitude of dupes, who come
over every summer by thousands to aid in carrying on the
imposture.  These, with the people in the Settlements, who
are purposely kept in ignorance, slavery, and poverty, perpetuate Polygamy in Utah.
John W. Young, the Prophet's son, to whom I have already
alluded, became disgusted with Polygamy and abandoned it.
Therefore, according to his father's teaching, he cannot now
enter into the "Celestial Kingdom."  But Brigham Young
says that he, as the successor of Joseph Smith, holds the
"Keys of the Kingdom," and he probably thinks that he will
be able to shuffle his son John W. in, in a quiet way.  For
my own part I do not suppose that Brigham Young believes
one word of the nonsense he teaches to the people-he is far
too shrewd for that! A certain Utah official once said to my
husband, "Brigham has got the best thing in America, and
he means to hold on to it." That is about the sum and substance of Brigham's religion.
About eight years ago, John W.-who is a handsome,
gentlemanly young man-married a Miss Lucy Canfield, of
Ogden  it was said, in obedience to the "counsel" of his
father.  Two  years subsequently he  married Miss  Clara
Jones, whose father when living had occupied a prominent
position in the Church.  This lady also, it was stated, he
married in obedience to a command of the Prophet, who had
6Ir 
MEETING HIS " AFFINITY."
been known to say that he wished one of his sons to marry
her and that, if they did not, he would marry her himself.
Brigham has often told men to marry certain women, and they
have felt bound to obey, believing, probably, as Mormon men
generally do, that it makes very little difference, after all, who
they married, as they have, got to have a certain number of
wives in order to enter the "Celestial Kingdom," and among
them all they will be sure to find one whom they can love.
Mormon men are not very different from other men;  for
although they tell their numerous wives quite another story,
they can truly love but one woman at a time. Some good
Saints, I doubt not, do really believe to the contrary, but love
thus divided is not worthy of the name. In this respect men
resemble women,-no woman can love two men at the same
time.
The two young girls, the wives of John W.  Young, of
course, each in turn, believed that she was the beloved one;
but subsequently they discovered how greatly they had been
mistaken, for John W. had not yet met with his "affinity."
In the course of time, however, the fair one appeared who was
to enslave his heart, and John W. submitted without a
murmur.
Mrs. Lucy Canfield Young, the first wife, had cousins living
in Philadelphia, and as John W. was returning from England,
where he had been on mission, at the request of his wife he
called to see them, and there he met with his fate in the
person of Miss Lizzie Canfield-one of his wife's cousins. He
immediately fell deeply in love with this young lady and
requested her to go with him to Salt Lake City to visit his
wife. She agreed, and, with her sister, accompanied him, and
before they arrived at the termination of their journey she
had promised to marry him. She had no faith in Mormonism,
but every thing was forgotten in love.
After their marriage, Miss Canfield- now Mrs. John W.
Young, number three-became very unhappy, for she felt
deeply her degraded position, and though she dearly loved her
husband, would have left him had she not felt that such a step
6I2 
THE PROPHET'S NEPOTISM.
would render him perfectly miserable, for it was evident that
he cared nothing at all for his other two wives. They, poor
girls, were also destined to become victims to this disgraceful
system-abandoned in their youth, and  one  of them the
mother of two or three children.
The first wife Lucy Canfield Young-perceiving that her
husband no longer cared for her, with true womanly dignity
withdrew from his husbandly care, obtained a divorce, and
became "Miss" Lucy Canfield again.
Mrs. Clara Jones Young could not so easily bring her mind
to leave the father of her children, but still hopes that her
truant husband will return to his unhappy wife, from whom
he has not yet been divorced, although he no longer lives
with her.  In this, however, she is mistaken;-John W. will
never return to her, for he is completely disgusted with his
father's pet scheme of "Celestial" marriage, and, undoubtedly,
would be formally separated from his second wife, were it not
that, according to Mormon law, the wife alone has the privilege of applying for a divorce.  He is, in fact, at heart a "vile
Apostate," as his father calls seceders from the Church; for
no one can possibly be a good Mormon without believing with
all his soul in Polygamy.  Take Polygamy and the Endowments from Mormonism, and there is nothing left to distinguish that faith from any other of the absurd religions which
have from time to time been advocated by fanatical men.'
John W. Young, notwithstanding the apostate spirit which
has fallen upon him,'has lately been appointed to preside over
the Saints at St. George, in Southern Utah, and I sincerely
trust that he will lead all those good Saints, over whom he is
sent to preside, to think as he does respecting plural marriage,
and that his wife may do her best to create in the minds of
the unhappy and degraded sisters around her a desire for that
higher social position, that perfect equality with man, which
is the, inalienable right of every woman.
It is very fortunate for John W. Young that he is the son
of his father; for if he had been any other man's son, and
had abandoned Polygamy, he would never have been appointed
6I3 
BRIGHAM THE PRINCE OF APOSTATES!
to preside over the Saints in St. George, or anywhere else.
But Brigham is all-powerful in Mormondom; it is he who
controls the affairs of the "Kingdom"; and if he chooses to
allow an Apostate son not only to pass muster but to be
accounted worthy to rule among the Saints, who shall gainsay
it? Brigham has a bitter hatred of Apostates and apostacy.
The very name-" Apostate "-is the most cruel arrow in his
quiver. And yet the very man, who if Brigham's own precedent
were  followed, ought to succeed  him-Orson  Hyde, the
President of the Twelve Apostles, was once an Apostate, in
Missouri, and a very cowardly one at that. Brigham himself,
little as he perhaps imagines it, is the Prince of Apostates.
He became an Apostate Methodist when he left Methodism
and joined the Mormons, and certainly he is now an Apostate
from Mormonism as Joseph Smith first taught it. The change
from Methodism to Mormonism, as it was first presented to
the world, was nothing near so great as the departure which
Brigham has made from the original faith of the Saints.
There have been many Apostates from the teachings of
Joseph in early days, but, of all Apostates, Brother Brigham is
the chief.
It may, perhaps, surprise the reader to learn that i'n polygamous Utah, notwithstanding the constant importation of
young girls from abroad, there are two thousand and fifty-six
more males than females. In four counties only are the
females in excess of the males.  In Salt Lake County, which
includes Salt Lake City, there are two hundred and ninetynine more females than males; in Cache County there are
ninety-three more; in Iron County there are thirty-one; and
in San Pete there are two hundred and thirty-eight more
females than males. In all the other seventeen counties, the
males are in excess of the females. In many instances the
sexes are singularly balanced; as, for instance, in Washington
County, where there are fifteen hundred and thirty-two males
and exactly the same number of females. Weber County has
an excess of three hundred and thirty-six males; Piute has
sixty-nine males to thirteen females, and in Sevier County
6I4 
FACTS AND FIGURES EXTRAORDINARY.
there are nineteen'unfortunate males who are not blessed with
the presence of a single female! These figures I obtained
from the Census Bureau at Washington.  They speak for
themselves, and clearly demonstrate that, as far as Utah is
concerned, instead of Polygamy being a necessity on account
of the preponderance of the female sex, the facts are exactly
the reverse; and if some men have two, four, six, eight or ten
wives, for every wife they take some other man is forced to
remain single. Considering the multiplicity of wives among
the more pious Saints, and the large number of miners who,
of course, are either unmarried or have not brought their
wives with them to Utah, it is quite evident that there must
be a good many single men in Utah.
But before closing my narrative, I must add a few words
relative to myself. After my husband had been in New York
for some months, it became necessary on account of business
that I should join him there. I did so, and found him busy
upon a history of Mormonism which he had for some years
contemplated writing, and for which he had collected a large
amount of valuable facts and statistics from the Historian's
Office in Salt Lake City.  While still a Mormon he had proposed to vindicate the Saints and justify their leadem, but
now that his eyes were open to the degra' ding superstition and
cruel bondage of the system; he was determined, as far as he
had ability to do so, to expose the corruption and tyranny of
the Priesthood. I heartily coincided with him, and encouraged
him with wifely commendations.
At that time, I had no idea of becoming myself an author,
and it was not until the close of that same year, when I paid a
second visit to New York, that I first seriously entertained the
idea of appearing before the public.  I was induced to write a
little volume which I thought would expose some of -the cruel
wrongs, which Mormon Polygamy inflicts upon deluded, help-'
less women. My work was very kindly received and extensively circulated, but it was, I must confess, only a very
imperfect and brief sketch. In this present volume I have
endeavored to supply the deficiencies of the former, and in a
615 
.UNDOING THE PAST.
truthful, if imperfect, sketch of my own life and my own ex perience in, and observations of, the workings of the polyga mic system, I have endeavored to give my readers a just idea
of what Polygamy and Morm6nism really are.
With the exception of the little literary efforts which I have
made from time to time to expose through the press the iniquity
of the " Celestial Order of Marriage," no event of more than per sonal and private interest has, since I left the Mormon Church,
interrupted the even tenor of my life. Last year, however, I
was able to deal another blow-weak, it might be, but still it
was a blow-directed at that false system against which I have
sworn eternal enmity. I lectured upon Mormon Polygamy in
Washington, and Boston, and other large cities, and attempted
in my humble way to attract the attention of the Gentile
world to the iniquities of that terrible superstition which, in
Utah, has degraded womanhood and wrecked the happiness of
thousands of my deluded sisters. I met with sympathy everywhere, and then, as now, I resolved that efforts like these I
would never relax until, if God spared my life, I should see
the last stone in the fabric of Mormonism overturned and Mormon Polygamy counted among the sins and follies of the past.
His literary work accomplished, my husband retuled to
Salt Lake City. - Looking back over the past, our Missionary
life and our faith in Brighamism seems like a dream, so difficult is it for us to realise that we ever submitted our souls to
the slavery of the Priesthood or placed any credence in that
mass of folly, superstition, and licentiousness, known as Mormonism.  During all his efforts to obey counsel and build up
a "kingdom," my husband, I know, never ceased to love me.
For the misery which he then, in-as I firmly believe-his
conscientious endeavors to live his religion, inflicted upon me,
I have long ago freely and fully forgiven him.' I think that
during all that time he never ceased to entertain the fondest
affection for me; and, if he was foolishly confiding in those
who he believed were divinely authorised and speaking by inspiration, can I'blame him when I remember that I myself
was actuated by the same faith?
6i6 
THE SERPENT'S TRAIL.
It was impossible to obliterate utterly the education and influences  of a whole life's experience.  That wall of partitionPolygamy-which separated my husband from me for so many
years, is now for ever broken down. But the effects of Mormonism will, no doubt, though unconsciously to ourselves,
tinge the whole of our future life. We can never forget the
past.            The mournful sympathy which, according to the poet,
the Peri at the gate of Paradise expressed over the sins and sorrows of humanity, might, with a slight variation, be applied to
our       own lives:
"Poor race of men, said the pitying spirit,
Dearly ye pay for your primal fall;
Some traces of Eden ye still inherit,
But the trail of the serpent is over them all."
The terrible effects of our religion will, I know, follow us to
our graves; but that temporary alienation has, I think, like
the quarrels of lovers, only made us still dearer to each other;
and now, happy in our family circle, and with our children
growing up around us, untainted by the fearful superstition
which embittered and wasted their parents' lives, we feel that
in them is our greatest blessing, and thank God that we have
lived to see the day when our greatest ambition is, byevery
effort which lies within our reach, to aid in undoing that work
which we spent the best years of our life in endeavoring to
perform.
4
617 
L' ENVOI.
In the preceding pages I have endeavored to present to the
reader the story of my life's experience in Mormonism and
Polygamy, and to place before him a truthful picture of the
doctrines and practices of the Saints.
Much has already been written on this subject much that
is in accordance with facts, and much that is exaggerated and
false. Hitherto, with but one exception*-that of a lady who
wrote very many years ago, and who in her writings, so mixed
up fiction with what was true, that it was difficult to detrmine
where the one ended and the other began no woman who
really was a Mormon and lived in Polygamy ever wrote the
history of her own personal experience. Books have been
published, and narratives have appeared in the magazines and
journals, purporting to be written by Mormon wives; it is,
however, perhaps, unnecessary for me to state that, notwithstanding such narratives may be imposed upon the Gentile
world as genuine, that they were written by persons outside
the Mormon faith would in a moment be detected by any intelligent Saint who took the trouble to peruse them.
Two  objects influenced my mind when I first proposed to
write this volume. In the first place, I earnestly desired to
stir up my Mormon sisters to a just sense of their own position. I longed to make them feel, as I do, the cruel degrada
. Mrs. Ettie V. Smith. 
RIGHTS AND DUTIES OF WOMANHOOD.
tion, the humiliating tyranny, which Polygamy inflicts. I
wanted to arouse them to a sense of their own Womanhood,
and a just appreciation of those Rights and Duties which, as
women, God has conferred upon them. I was anxious that
they should understand and know the inconsistency and folly
of that superstitious faith by which they have been so egregiously deluded; that they might learn to hate and loathe the
falsely-named "Celestial" system of marriage; and rising in
honest indignation and disgust against the tyranny of the oppressor, break asunder the yoke of bondage, cast from them
for ever the moral, religious, and social fetters wherewith they
are bound, and, walking in the light of truth, assert their perfect equality with their sons, their husbands, their fathers, and
their brethren, and henceforth claim and occupy that position
which God assigned them, and which by right is theirs!
In the second place, I was anxious to enlist for them the
sympathy of the Gentile world. Most strenuous efforts have
been made, large sums of money have been spent, and secret
intrigues, as well as open and honorable negotiations, have
been carried on for the purpose of obtaining admission for
Utah into the Union, under the title of Thze State of
Deseret.  The name "Deseret" itself is taken from tl* Book
of Mormon, and is said to signify in the celestial tongue a
honey-bee; wherefore it is that the escutcheon of Utah Territory is a bee-hive; and to grant that name "Deseret" alone
would be a concession to Mormon superstition. Out here in
the Valley of the Great Salt Lake we are perfectly well aware
that, with Utah once admitted as a State, it would be almost
impossible for Gentiles to live peaceably and safely among the
Mormons; and of this fact their leading men and their official
organs have repeatedly boasted. With Utah as a State, and
Brigham Young once more Governor, the enslavement of the
people to the Priesthood would be complete, and the cruel
bondage of Polygamy would be rivetted a thousand times
more firmly upon the unfortunate women. I was anxious,
therefore, to attract the attention of Congress and the Nation
at large to these facts; that thus, when Mormon bills and
6i9 
THE RESUME OF MY LIFE.
Mormon petitions, replete with falsified statistics, and perverted, and  in many instances-utterly untrue, statements, are
presented to the National Legislature, neither the representatives of the Nation nor the Nation itself may be deceived
thereby. These were the two objects which I proposed to
myself in writing my own experience as a wife and mother
among the Mormons, and I trust to some extent at least I have
realised them.
I have told my story simply, but truthfully, and, as far as was
possible, I have endeavored to TELL IT ALL. Some facts I have
had occasion to relate, so horrible and repulsive, that a*person
unused to Mormonism and unversed in Mormon doctrine and
Mormon practice would find dificulty in giving credence to
such things-and yet, Alas! they are all too trute!  It is only
right that I should add, that in the conduct and publicly expressed opinions of Brigham Young and many of the leaders,
there have been such disgusting atrocities and such impure
statements that for the sake of decency and propriety I dared
not even mention them. For this suppressio veri I feel
assured the reader will not blame me.  In all that I have said
I have most scrupulously kept to thze very letter of the truthI have neither exaggerated nor concealed, and in every respect
my great endeavor has been to act with the strictest impartiality and justice.
Mine, in one sense, is the story of a wasted life.  From the
day when I linked my destiny with that of a Mormon Missionary Elder, to the time when, after long weary years of
trial and endurance, I abjured the faith of the modern Saints,
I suffered a constant martyrdom. Poverty, self-denial, and
suffering, I gloried in, when I believed myself the humble instrument in the hands of the Almighty for proclaiming the
"Fulness of the Gospel" to those who were walking in the darkness of unbelief.  The trials of a Missionary life were to me
a pleasure.  I bore with gladness the cross, believing that
hereafter I should exchange it for the glories of an eternal
crown; and I think, even now, I should never have wearied of
that life of devotion, so great was my faith in my religion, had
620 
THE RECORD OF MY OWN EXPERIENCE..
the leaders of the Church -remained'steadfast to that simple
Gospel creed which we were at first taught was the Evangel
of the Latter-Day Dispensation.  But when Polygamy-that
accursed thing! that offspring of deceit and licentiousness!came across our path, darkening the way and blighting the
affections, the hopes, the whole life, of every true woman
among the Saints; when Polygamy came, casting its foul stain
over all that was holy, crushing out from our hearts all that
was good, and pure, and heaven-born, degrading our womanhood and embittering existence itself; when its dark shadow,
like the gloom of the deadly Upas, brought death of the'soul
and the withering of the heart's true love to all who came
within its influence;-then my faith began to waver, my zeal
to wax cold, and in anticipation, and subsequently in realisation, of the cruel wrong which that system could inflict upon
the affections and life of a wife and mother, I endured daily a
trial of my faith-a moral and spiritual martyrdom, such as I
trust my readers may never experience.
Not a day passed but what more and more evidence of the
wickedness of the system, and its cruel debasement of woman's
nature, was brought beneath my observation. Whatever came
in contact with it, whoever fell beneath its influence, was the
subject of immediate loss;-men, women, and children alike
suffered from its effects. The innocence of childhood was
sullied by  its contamination; girlhood  and  youth  were
degraded and disgraced; the fair, sweet' dreams of virgin
purity were marred by its presence; the ideal of love-pure,
faithful, holy, heavenly, which God himself has implanted in
the heart, was rudely trampled upon,  and perverted, and
destroyed; the lives of wives and mothers were but the
record of outrage, cruelty, and wrong, or else the deadening
and blasting of every holy impulse and every tender emotion;
while men themselves were brutalised and debased;-the
husband became the lord, and frequently the tyrant and the
despot; and the wife was either the toy of the hour, or the
drudge who looked after the children-but never the cherished
companion, the help-meet of the man. Such was the influ
62'i 
622     THE TELL-TALE WITNESS TO THE TRUTH.
ence of Polygamy-such the results of the "Celestial Order
of Marriage!"
Contrary to the laws of the land; contrary to the holiest
sentiments of the heart; contrary to the divine teachings of
Heaven, that system still exists! It is a disgrace to the
National Government; it is a reproach to Civilisation; it is a
blot upon the fair escutcheon of the World's Greatest
Republic!
And yet visitors will come from Utah, and will tell you that
the Mormon women are happy in Polygamy, for it is a part
of their religion. Never; until new hearts and new natures
are given to the women of Utah, and all that is womanly, and
pure, and sacred, is crushed out from their souls, can one
single woman be truly happy in Polygamy! They may say
so publicly, they may, for their religion's sake, tell stranlCgers
that thus it is; but listen to them when they are alone among
themselves; read, if you can, their hearts, and mark the
bitterness which they try to stifle there; nay, see upon their
very features the handwriting which bears witness against
their assertion that they are happy and which proclaims to
the world the sorrow which they vainly try to hide!
I send forth this little book with many earnest prayers and
many heartfelt aspirations that my Mormon sisters may be
benefitted thereby. Out of the evil which man originates,
God alone can produce good; and I trust that my feeble
attempt to portray'the cruel wrong which Polygamy inflicts
upon the Women of Utah may excite the sympathy of every
man and woman whose influence may avail to hasten that
time when this relic of ancient barbarism may be utterly
rooted out before the advancing civilisation of the age.
The night-the gloomy night of superstition-cannot last
for ever.  Already there are signs of the coming dawn.  The
time, I trust and pray will not long be delayed when the veil
shall be removed from the eyes of the enslaved men and
women of our modern Zion, and they shall cast aside for ever
the yoke of the Priesthood. I trust that I shall yet live to see
the day when the Mormon wives and mothers shall awake to 
L' EN VOI.
a sense of their position and responsibilities, shall understand
that God never required that their womanhood should be
degraded, their love crushed out, and the holiest instincts of
their nature perverted; I trust to see them assert their
inalienable rights-their womanly prerogatives their very
birthright itself; I trust to see them shake off the slavery of
that cruel superstition which has so long held them captive;
I trust to see them take their places side by side with Gentile,
matrons-the honored wives and mothers of the men of
Utah; I trust to see that dark shadow banished from their
features, banished from their hearts, banished from their lives,
-I trust to see them FREE!
Full of love for them my sisters, my friends, the companions of my life hitherto, whose religion was once my own,
whose hopes and joys I have shared, whose sorrows and trials
have been also mine -with hopeful prayer I lay down
my pen and present my labors to the world. And if my
humble efforts shall have conduced, even in the smallest
degree, to keep one sister from entering into this sinful
"Order"; if they shall have aroused thl.e Women of Utah to
investigate the foundations of their faith, to calmly and
impartially consider the iniquities of the system of Potygamy,
to renounce the man-made slavery of the "Celestial Order";
if I shall be found to have awakened in the minds of thinking
men and women a hatred for the licentious doctrine which
enslaves the wives and daughters of the Sainrts; if I have to
any extent enlisted active, practical sympathy in their behalfI shall feel that my endeavors have been abundantly rewarded
and that my labors have not been bestowed in vain,
623 
GOOD READING.
ONE of the most deeply-felt wants of this generation, is
a pure, healthy, courageous, and inspiriting literature, presented attractively, yet in such a form as to make it attainable
by all.
Among the workers in this field, none deserve more credit
or heartier recommendation than
WOOD'S HOUSEHOLD MAGAZINE,
a publication always true to its wise mottoes, always welcome
to its readers, and always helpful with its delicate sympathy,
earnest advice, sound counsel, and interesting stories.
The present (fourteenth) volume of the Magazine proves
the promises of its enterprising publisher, and the'ability
of its well-known editor.
Under such supervision the public may be sure its hopes
will not be disappointed, while the rapidly increasing circulation of the work shows that it is duly appreciated.
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Address,
WOOD'S HOUSEHOLD MAGAZINE,
NEWBUR GH, N. Y.
S. E. SHUTES,  PUBLISHER.
MAY, I874.
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40
I
H. V. OSBORNE, EDITOR.