Q 
 
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LIBRARY 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF 
 
 NORTH CAROLINA 
 
 A/23 
 
- 
 
< -' \ 
 
THE 
 
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 J> ' 
 
 Vfjzjy' 
 
 SPECTATOR, 
 
 ouTKj 
 
 ■\ 
 
 VOLUME THE'SEVEKTE 
 
 C 
 
 GLASGOW: 
 
 Printed for A. Stalker and R. U r I I. 
 
 M. D C C. L. 
 
T © 
 
 Mr. M E T H U E N. 
 
 S I R, 
 
 OttfiKg T is with very great pleafure 
 
 SK* bflf I take an opportunity of pu- 
 
 8k99QSpIi blilhing the gratitude I owe 
 
 i^ you, for the place you allow me in 
 
 rs. 
 
 A 2- 
 
 your 
 
 
DEDICATION. 
 
 your friendfhip and familiarity. I will 
 not acknowlege to you that I have oft- 
 en had you in my thoughts, when I 
 have endeavoured to draw, in fome parts 
 of thefe difcourfes, the character of a 
 good-natured, honeft, and accomplifh- 
 ed gentleman. But fuch reprefentations 
 give my reader an idea of a perfon 
 blamelefs only, or only laudable for fuch 
 perfections as extend no farther than to 
 his own private advantage and reputa- 
 tion. 
 
 BUT when I fpeak of you, I cele- 
 brate one who has had the happinefs 
 of pofTeffing alfo thofe qualities which 
 make a man ufeful to fociety, and of 
 
 having 
 
DEDICATION. 
 
 having had opportunities of exerting 
 them m the moit confpicuous manner. 
 
 THE great part you had, as Britim 
 ambaffador, in procuring and cultivat- 
 ing the advantageous commerce between 
 the courts of England and Portugal, has 
 purchafed you the kiting efleem of all 
 who underftand the intereft of either 
 nation. 
 
 TH O S E perfonal excellencies which 
 are over- rated by the ordinary world, 
 and too much neglected by wife men, 
 you have applied with the jufteft (kill 
 and judgment. The moft graceful ad- 
 drefs in horfemanfhip, in the ufe of. the 
 A 3 fword, 
 
DEDICATION. 
 
 fword, and in dancing, has been em- 
 ployed by you as lower arts, and as 
 they have occasionally ferved to cover, 
 or introduce the talents of a fkilful mi- 
 nijfler. 
 
 BUT your abilities have not appeared 
 only in one nation. When it was your 
 province to act as her majefty's minifferat 
 the court of Savoy, at that time encamped, 
 you accompanied that gallant prince .thro' 
 all the viciffitudes of his fortune, and 
 ihared, by his fide, the dangers of that 
 glorious day in which he recovered hia 
 capital. As far as it regards perfonal qua- 
 ities , you attained, in that one hour, 
 the highefl military reputation. The 
 
 beha- 
 
DEDICATION. 
 
 behaviour of our minifter in the action,- 
 and the good offices done the vanquifh- 
 ed in the name of the queen of Eng- 
 land, gave both the conqueror and the 
 captive the moft lively examples of the 
 courage and generality of the nation he 
 reprefented. 
 
 YOUR friends and companions in 
 your abfence frequently talk thefe things 
 of you, and you cannot hide from us, 
 (by the moft difcreet filence in any thing 
 which regards yourfelf) that the frank 
 entertainment we have at your table, 
 your eafy condefcenfion in little incidents 
 of mirth and diveriion, and general com- 
 placency of manners, are far from being 
 A 4 the 
 
DEDICATION. 
 
 the greateft obligations we have to you. 
 I do allure you there is not one of your 
 friends has a greater fenfe of your merit 
 in general, and of the favours you every 
 day do us, than. 
 
 S I R ? 
 
 YOUR MOST OBEDIENT, AND 
 
 MOST HUMBLE SERVANT, 
 
 RICHARD STEELE, 
 
THE 
 
 S P E C TA T 
 
 VOL. VII. 
 
 N° 474. Wednefday^ September 3, 171 
 
 Afperitas agreftis et inconcinna- 
 
 Hor. Ep. 18. 1. 1. v. 6. 
 
 A clown] fl) roughnefs, and unkindly clofe, 
 Unfriendly, Jliff } and peev'i/bly morofe. Creech. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 Iff^l^g^: EING of the number of thofe that have 
 ff^Y^;. lately retired from the center of buii- 
 hl^^f^i:)} nefs and pleafure, my uneafinefs in 
 jflp^^Tv the country where I am, arifes rather 
 | ^ l|feyy fP from the fociety than the folitn.de of 
 ©jM^wpt^ it. To be obliged to receive and re- 
 turn vifits from and to a circle of neighbours, who 
 through diverlity of age or inclinations can neither 
 be entertaining or ferviceable to us, is a vile lofs of 
 time, and a flavery from which a man fhould deliver 
 himfelf, if pomble : for why muft I lofe the remain- 
 ing part of my life, becaufe they have thrown away 
 the former part of theirs? It is to me an infupport- 
 able affliction, to be tormented with the narrations 
 of a fet of people, who are warm in their expreflions 
 of the quick relifh of that pleafure which their dnv$ 
 and horfes have a more delicate taile of. I do alfo 
 A 5 'in 
 
lo THE SPECTATOR. NO474. 
 
 ' in my heart deteft and abhor that damnable doclrine 
 ' and pofition of the neceffity of a bumper, though to 
 
 * one's own toaft ; for tho' it is pretended that thefe 
 ' deep potations are ufed only to infpire gaiety, they 
 ' certainly drown that chearfulnefs which would fur- 
 ' vive a moderate circulation. If at thefe meetings it 
 ' were left to every ftranger either to fill his glafs ac- 
 ' cording to his own inclination, or to make his re- 
 ' treat when he finds he has been fufficicntly obedient 
 ' to that of others, thefe entertainments would be go- 
 i verned^ with more good fenfe, and confequently with 
 ' more good-breeding, than at prefent they are. In- 
 ' deed where any of the guefts are known to meafure 
 ' their fame or pleafure by their glafs, proper exhor- 
 ' tations might be uied to thefe to puih their fortunes 
 
 * in this fort of reputation ; but where it is unfeafon- 
 4 ably infilled on to a modefl ftranger, this drench 
 
 * may be faid to be fwallowed with the fame neceffity, 
 *^as if it had been tendered in the horn for that pur- 
 
 * pofe, with this aggravating circumflance, that it di- 
 ' ftreffes the entertainer's gueft in the fame degree as 
 
 * it relieves his horfes. 
 
 ' TO attend without impatience an account of five- 
 ' barred gates, double ditches, and precipices, and to 
 
 * furvey the orator with defiring eyes, is to me ex- 
 ' tremely difficult, but abfolutely neeefl'ary, to be up- 
 
 * on tolerable terms with him : but then the occafio- 
 ' nal burfting out into laughter, is of all other accom- 
 ' pliihments the moft requifite. I confefs at prefent I 
 
 * have not command of thefe convulsions, as is ne- 
 ' cefTary to be good company ; therefore I beg you 
 ' would publifii this letter, and let me be known all at 
 
 * once for a queer fellow, and avoided. It is mon-' 
 
 * ftrous to me, that we, who are given to reading and 
 ' calm converfation, fhould ever be vifited by thefe 
 ' roarers : but they think they themfelves, as neigh- 
 1 bours, may come into our rooms with the fame right, 
 ' that they and their dogs hunt in our grounds. 
 
 ' YOUR infiitution of clubs I have always admired, 
 ' in which you confiantiy endeavoured the union of 
 ' the metaphoricalSy defnncl, that is fuch as are nei- 
 
 * ther fcrviceabie to the bufy and enterprizing part of 
 
 * man- 
 
Ko 474 . THE SPECTATOR. n 
 
 i mankind, nor entertaining to the retired and fpecu- 
 
 * lative. There fhould certainly therefore, in each 
 
 < county, be eftablifhed a club of the perfons whofe 
 ' converfations I have defcribed, who, for the'r own 
 ' private, as alfo the public emolument fhould ex- 
 
 < elude, and be excluded all other fociety. Their attire 
 ' fhould be the fame with their huntfmens, and none 
 ' fhould be admitted into this green converfation-piece, 
 
 * except he had broke his collar bone thrice. A broken 
 
 < rib or two might alfo admit a man without the lead op- 
 
 * pofition. Theprefidentmuft neceffarily have broken 
 1 his neck, and have been taken up dead once or twice: 
 ' for the more maims this brotherhood fhall have met 
 ' with, the eafier will their converfation flow and keep 
 1 up ; and when any one of thefe vigorous invalids had 
 
 * finifhed his narration of the collar-bone, this natn- 
 
 * rally would introduce the hiftory of the ribs. Be- 
 ' fides, the different circumflances of their falls and 
 
 * fraftures would help to prolong and dlverfify their 
 
 * relations. There fliould alfo be another club of fuch 
 
 * men, who have not fucceeded fo welj in maiming 
 'themfeives, but are however in the conftant purfuit 
 
 * of thefe accomplifhments. I would by no means be 
 
 * fufpecled by v/hat I have faid to traduce in general 
 
 * the body of fox-hunters ; for whilfl I look upon a 
 
 < reafonable creature full fpeed after a pack of dogs, 
 
 * by way of pleafure, and not of bufinefs, I fhall al- 
 
 * ways make honourable mention of it. 
 
 'BUT the mod irkfome converfation of all others 
 1 I have met with in the neighbourhood, has been a- 
 
 * mong two or three of your travellers, who have o- 
 
 * verlooked men and manners, and have paffed thro' 
 I France and Italy with the fame obfervation rhat the 
 
 * carriers and ftage coachmen do thro' Great-Britain ; 
 « that is, their ftops and ftages have been regulated ac- 
 ' cording to the liquor they have met with in their paf- 
 ' fage. They indeed remember the names of abundance 
 ' of places, with the particular fineries of certain 
 i churches : but their diftinguifhing mark is certain 
 
 < prettineffes of foreign languages, the meaning of 
 « which they could have better exprefled in their own. 
 
 * The 
 
12- THE SPECTATOR. NO474. 
 
 < The entertainment of thefe fine obfervers, Shakefpear 
 
 < has defcribed to confift 
 
 ' In talking of the Alpi and Apennines 7 
 ' The Pyrenean, and the river Po. 
 
 * and then concludes with a figh, 
 
 * Now this is worjhipful fociety ! 
 
 1 I WO U L D not be thought in all this to hate fuch 
 honeft creatures as dogs ; lam only unhappy that I 
 cannot partake in their diverfions. But I love them 
 fo well, as dogs, that I often go with my pockets fluf- 
 fed with bread to difpenfe my favours, or make my 
 way through them at neighbours houfes. There is 
 in particular a young hound of great expectation, 
 vivacity, and enterprize, that attends my flights 
 where-ever he fpies me. This creature obferves my 
 countenance, and behaves himfelf accordingly. Hi3 
 mirth, his frolic, and joy upon the fight of me has 
 been obferved, and 1 have been gravely defired not 
 to encourage him fo much, for it fpoils his parts ; but 
 I think he fhewsthem furficiently in thefeveralboun- 
 dings, frifkings, and fcourings, when he makes his 
 court to me : but I forefee in a little time he and I 
 muft keep company with one another only, for we 
 are fit for no other in thefe parts. Having informed 
 you how I do pafs my time in the country where I 
 am, 1 muft proceed to tell you how I would pafs it, 
 had I fuch a fortune as would put me above the ob- 
 fervance of ceremony and cuftom. 
 'MY fcheme of a country life then fliould be as fol- 
 lows. As I am happy in three or four agreeable 
 friends, thefe I would conftantly have with me ; and 
 the freedom we took with one another at fchool and 
 the univerfity we would maintain and exert upon all 
 occafions v/ith great courage. There fliould be cer- 
 tain hours of the day to be employed in reading, dur- 
 ing which time it fliould be impoflible for any one of 
 us to enter the other's chamber, unlefs by ftorm. Af- 
 ter this we would communicate the traili or treafure 
 we had met with, with our own reflections upon the 
 matter ; the juftnefs of which we would controvert 
 
 ' with 
 
M°474- THE SPECTATOR. 13 
 
 ' with good-humoured warmth, and never fpare one 
 
 * another out of that complaifant fpirit of converfati- 
 ' on, which makes others affirm and deny the fame 
 
 * matter in a quarter of an hour. If any of the neigh - 
 ' bouring gentlemen, not of our turn, fhould take it 
 ' in their heads to vifit me, I fhould look upon thefe 
 1 perfons in the fame degree enemies to my particular 
 i ftate of happinefs, as ever the French were to that of 
 
 * the public, and I would be at an annual expen.ee in 
 ' fpies to obferve their motions. Whenever I mould be 
 ' furprized with a vifit, as I hate drinking, I would be 
 ' brilk in fwelling bumpers, upon this maxim, Thar 
 
 * it is better to trouble others with my impertinence, 
 
 * than to be troubled myfelf with theirs. The necef- 
 1 fity of an infirmary makes me refolve to fall into that 
 
 * project ; and as we fhould be but five, the terrors of 
 
 * an involuntary feparation, which our number can- 
 ' not fo well admit of, would make us exert onrfelves, 
 ' in oppofition to all the particulars mentioned in your 
 ' infiitution of that equitable confinement. This my 
 ' way of life I know would fubjecl me to the imputa- 
 1 tion of a morofe, covetous, and finguJar fellow. 
 1 Thefe and all other hard words, with all manner of 
 1 infipid jefts, and all other reproach, would be mat- 
 
 * ter of mirth to me and my friends : befides, I would 
 ' deftroy the application of the epithets Morofe and 
 
 * Covetous, by a yearly relief of my undefervedly ne- 
 
 * ceffitous neighbours, and by treating my friends 
 ( and domeftics with an humanity that mould exprefs 
 ' the obligation to lie rather on my fide ; and as for 
 
 * the word Singular, I was always of opinion every 
 
 * man mull be fo, to be what one would defire him. 
 
 Tour very humble fervant, 
 
 J. R. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 ' A BOUT two years ago, I was called upon by the 
 1 il younger part of a country family, by my mo- 
 i ther's fide related to me, to vifit Mr. Campbell, the 
 ' dumb man ; for they told me that that was chiefly 
 
 * what brought them to town, having heard wonders 
 ' of him in EfTex. I, who alwa) s wanted faith in mat- 
 
 ' ters 
 
i 4 THE SPECTATOR. N°474- 
 
 ters of that kind., was not eahly prevailed on to go; 
 bat left they mould take it ill, I went with them; 
 when, to my furprize, Mr. Campbell related ail their 
 pad life; in fhort, had he not been prevented, fitch 
 a difcovery would have come out, as would have 
 ruined the next defign of their coming to town, viz, 
 buying wedding-clothes. Our names — —though he 
 never heard of us before — and we endeavoured to 
 conceal — were as familiar to him as to ourfclves. To 
 before, Mr. Spectator, he is a very learned and 
 wife man. Being impatient to know my fortune, 
 having paid my refpects in a family- Jacobus, he 
 told me, after his manner, among fevera! other 
 things, that in a year and nine months I fhould 
 fall ill of a new fever, be given over by my pbyfici- 
 ans, but fhould, with much difficulty, recover: that 
 the firft time I took the air afterwards, I fhould be 
 addreffed to by a young gentleman of a plentiful for- 
 tune, good fen fe, and a generous fpirit. Mr. Spec- 
 tator, he is the pureft man in the world, for 
 all he faid is come to pafs, and I am the happieft 
 fhe in Kent. I have been in queft of Mr. Campbell 
 thefe three months, and cannot find him out. Now 
 hearing you are a dumb man too, I thought you 
 m'ght correfpond, and be able to tell mefomething ; 
 for I think myfelf highly obliged to make his fortune, 
 as he has mine. It is very poffible your worfhip, who 
 has fpies all over this town, can inform me how to 
 fend to him : if you can, I befeech you be as fpeedy 
 as poffible, and you will highly oblige 
 
 Tour conftant reader and admirer y 
 
 Dulcibella Thankley. 
 
 ORDERED, That the infpe&or I employ about 
 wonders, inquire at the Golden-Lion, oppofite to the 
 Half-Moon tavern in Drury-Lane, into the merits of 
 this filent fage, and report accordingly. T 
 
 Thttrfdajj 
 
N° 475. Thurjday, September 4. 
 
 — Quae res in fe neque confilium, neque modum 
 Habet uJtam, earn conjilio rege're twnpotes. 
 
 Ter. Eun. Aft. I. Sc. I. 
 
 Advice is thrown oivajr, where the cafe admits of 
 neither counfel nor moderation. 
 
 IT is an old obfervation, which has been made of 
 politicians who would rather ingratiate themfelves 
 with their fovereign, than promote his real fer- 
 vice,that they accommodate their counsels to his incli- 
 nations, and advife him to fuch aftions only as his 
 heart is naturally fet upon. The privy counsellor of 
 one in love nnifl obferve the fame conduct, unlefs he 
 would forfeit the friendfhip of the peifon who defires 
 his advice. I have known feveral odd cafes of this na- 
 ture. Hipparchus was going to marry a common wo- 
 man, but being refolved to do nothing without the ad- 
 vice of his friend Philander, he confulted him upon 
 the occafion. Philander told him his mind freely, and 
 reprefented his miiirefs to him in fuch ftrong colours, 
 that the next morning he received a challenge for his 
 pains, and before twelve o' clock was run through the 
 body by the .man who had afked his advice. Ceiia was 
 more prucf-nt on the like occafion ; fhe defired Leonil- 
 la to give er opinion freely upon a young fellow who 
 made his addreffes to her. Leonilla to oblige her, 
 told her, with great frank nefs, that fhe looked upon 
 
 him as one of the moft worthiefs Celia, forefeeing 
 
 what a charaftcr fiie was to expeft, begged her not to 
 go on, for that (lie had been privately married to him 
 above a fortnight. The truth of it is, a woman feldom 
 afks advice before fhe has bought her wedding-clothes, 
 "When fhe has made her own choice, for form's fake 
 fhe .'ends a Conge Welir'e to her friends. 
 
 IF we look into the fecret fprings and motives that 
 fct people at work on thefe occafions, and put them 
 
 upon 
 
16 THE SPECTATOR. NO475. 
 
 upon afking advice which they never intend to take ; 
 I look upon it to be none of the leafl, that they are in- 
 capable of keeping a fecret which is fo very pleafing 
 to them. A girl longs to tell her confident, that fhe 
 hopes to be married in a little time, and, in order to 
 talk of the pretty fellow that dwells fo much in her 
 thoughts, afks her very gravely, what fhe would ad- 
 vife her to do in a cafe of fo much difficulty. Why elfe 
 fhould Meliffa, who had not a thoufand pound in the 
 world, go into every quarter of the town to afk her 
 acquaintance whether they would advife her to take 
 Tom Townly, that made his addrelfes to her with an 
 eftate of live thoufand a year ? It is very pleafant on 
 this occafion, to hear the lady propofe her doubts, 
 and to fee the pains fhe is at to get over them. 
 
 I MUST not here omit a practice that is in ufe a- 
 mong the vainer part of our own fex, who will often 
 afk a friend's advice in relation to a fortune whom 
 they are never likely to come at. Will Honey- 
 comb, who is now on the verge of threefcore, took 
 me afide not long fince, and afked me in his molt fe- 
 rious look, whether I would advife him to marry my 
 lady Betty Single, who, by the way, is one of the 
 greateft fortunes about town. I flared him full in the 
 face upon fo ftrangea queftion ; upon which he imme- 
 diately gave me an inventory of her jewels and eftate, 
 adding, that he was refolved to do nothing in a matter 
 of fuch confequence without my approbation. Find- 
 ing he would have an anfwer, I told him, if he could 
 get the lady's confent he had mine. This is about 
 the tenth match which, to my knowlege, Will has 
 confulted his friends upon, without ever opening his 
 mind to the party herfelf. 
 
 I HAVE been engaged in this fubject by the follow- 
 ing letter, which comes to me from fome notable young 
 female fcribe, who, by the contents of it, feems to 
 have carried matters fo far, that fhe is ripe for afking 
 advice ; but as I would not lofe her good-will, nor 
 forfeit the reputation which I have with her for wif- 
 dom, 1 fhall only commianicate the letter to the pub- 
 lic, without returning any anfwer to it. 
 
 Mr. 
 
NO 47 j; 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 I? 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 NOW, Sir, the thing is this : Mr. Shapely is the 
 prettieft gentleman about town. He is very 
 tall, but not too tall neither. He dances like an an- 
 gel. His mouth is" made I do not know how, but it is 
 the prettied that I ever faw in my life. He is always 
 laughing, for he has an infinite deal of wit. If you 
 did but fee how he rolls hisftockings ! He hasathou- 
 fand pretty fancies, and I am fure, if you faw him, 
 you would like him. He is a very good fcholar, and 
 can talk Latin as faft as Englifh. 1 wifh you could 
 but fee him dance. Now you muft underftand poor 
 Mr. Shapely has no eftate ; but how can he help that, 
 you know ? And yet my friends are fo unreafonable 
 as to be always teazing me about him, becaufehe has 
 no eftate 5 but I am fure he has that that is better 
 than an eftate ; for he is a good-natured, ingenious, 
 model!:, civil, tall, well-bred, handfom man, and I am 
 obliged to him for his civilities ever fince I faw him. 
 I forgot to tell you that he has black eyes, and looks 
 upon me now and then as if he had tears in them. 
 And yet my friends are fo unreafonable, that they 
 would have me be uncivil to him. I have a good por- 
 tion which they cannot hinder me of, and I fhall be 
 fourteen on the 29th day of Auguft next, and I am 
 therefore willing to fettle in the world as foon as I 
 can, and fo is Mr. Shapely. But every body Iadvife 
 with here is poor Mr. Shapely's enemy. I defire 
 therefore you will give me your advice, for I know 
 you are a wife man ; and if you advife me well, I am 
 refolved to follow it- I heartily wifh you could fee 
 him dance, and am, 
 
 SIR, 
 
 Tour moft humble fcrvant :t 
 
 B. D. 
 
 ' He loves your Spectators mightily. 
 C 
 
 FrldaVf 
 
|8 THE SPECTATOR. NO476. 
 
 N° 476. Friday, September 5. 
 
 -Lucidus or do. 
 
 Hor. Ars Poet. v. 41. 
 
 Perfpicuous method. 
 
 MONG my daily papers which I beftow on the 
 public, there are feme which are written with 
 regularity and method, and others that run out 
 into the wildnefs of thofe compofitions which go by 
 the name of EfTays. As for the firft, I have the whole 
 fcheme of the difconrfe in my mind before I fct pen to 
 paper. In the other kind of writing, it is fufficient that 
 I have feveral thoughts on a fubjecl, without troubling 
 myfelf to range them in fuch order, that they may feem 
 to grow out of one another, and be difpofed under the 
 proper heads. Seneca and Montaigne are patterns for 
 writing in this laft kind, as Tully and Ariftotle excel in 
 the other. When I read an author of genius who writes 
 without method, I fancy myfelf ina wood that abounds 
 with a great many noble objects, riling among one ano- 
 ther in the greater! confufion and diforder. When I 
 read a methodical difcourfe, I am in a regular planta- 
 tion, and can place myfelf in its feveral centres, fo as 
 to take a view of all the lines and walks that ate ftruck 
 from them. You may ramble in the one a whole day 
 together, and every moment difcover fomething or o- 
 ther that is new to you ; but when you have done, you 
 will have but a confufed imperfect notion of the place : 
 in the othei your eye commands the whole profpect, 
 and gives you fuch an idea of it, as it is not eaiily worn 
 out of the memory.' 
 
 IRREGULARITY and want of method, are only 
 fupportable in men of great learning or genius, who 
 are often too full to be exact, and therefore choofe to 
 throw down their pearls in heaps before the reader, ra- 
 ther than be' at the pains of flringing them. 
 
 METHOD 
 
Ko 467. THE SPECTATOR. 19 
 
 METHOD is of advantage t a work both in re- 
 fpecl to the writer and the reader. In regard to the firft, 
 it is a great help to his invention. When a man has 
 planned his difcourfe, lie finds a great many thoughts 
 riling out of every head, that do not offer themfelves 
 upon the general furvey of a fubjec~t. His thoughts are 
 at the fame time more intelligible, and better difcover 
 their drift and meaning, when they are placed in their 
 proper lights, and follow one another in a regular feries, 
 than when they are thrown together without order and 
 connexion. There is always an obfeurity inconfufion, 
 and the fame fentence that would have enlightened the 
 reader in one part of a difcourfe, perplexes him in ano- 
 ther. For the fame reafon likewife every thought in a 
 methodical difcourie fnews itlelf in its greateft beauty, 
 as the feveral figures in a piece of painting receive new 
 grace from their difpofition in the picture. The ad- 
 vantages of a reader from a methodical difcourfe, are 
 correfpondent with thofe of the writer. He compre- 
 hends every thing eafily, takes it in with pleafure, and 
 retains it long. 
 
 METHOD is not lefs reqoifite in ordinary conver- 
 fation than in writing, provided a man would talk to 
 make himfelf underftood. I, who hear a thoufand cof- 
 fee-houfe debates every day, am very fenlible of this 
 want of method in the thoughts of my honeft country- 
 men. There is not one difpute in ten which is manag- 
 ed in thofe fchools of politics, where, after the three 
 firft fentences, the queftion is not intirely loft. Our 
 difputants put me in mind of the fcuttle-fifii, that when 
 he is unable to extricate himfelf, blackens all the wa- 
 ter about him till he become invifible. The man who 
 does not know how to methodife his thoughts has al- 
 ways, to borrow a phrafe from the Difpenfary, a bar- 
 ren fuperfluity of words ; the fruit is loft amidft the ex- 
 uberance of leaves. 
 
 TOM PUZZLE is one of the moft eminent imme- 
 thodical dilputants of any that has fallen under my ob- 
 servation. Tom has read enough to make him very 
 impertinent ; his knowlege is fufficient to raife doubts, 
 but not to clear them. It is pity that he has fo much 
 learning, or that he has not a great deal more. With 
 
 thefc 
 
2 o THE SPECTATOR. N° 476. 
 
 thefe qualifications Tom fetsupfor a free-thinker, finds 
 a great many things to blame in the conftitution of his 
 country, and gives fhrewd intimations that he does not 
 believe another world. In fhort, Puzzle is an athcift 
 as much as his parts will give him leave. He has got 
 about half a dozen common-place topics, into which 
 he never fails to turn the converfation, whatever was 
 the occafion of it: tho' the matter in debate be about 
 Doway orDenain, it is ten to onebut half his difcourfe 
 runs upon the unreafonablenefs of bigotry and prieft- 
 craft. This makes Mr. Puzzle the admiration of all 
 thofe who have lefs fenfe than himfelf, and the con 
 tempt of all thofe who have more. There is none in 
 town whom Tom dreads fo much as my friend Will 
 Dry. Will, who is acquainted with Tom's logic, when 
 he finds him running off the queftion, cuts him fhort 
 w.ith a What then? IV e allow all this to be true, but 
 what is it to our prefent purpofe f I have known Tom 
 eloquent half an hour together, and triumphing, as he 
 thought, in the fuperiority of the argument, when he 
 has been nonplufed on a fudden by Mr. Dry's defiring 
 him to tell the company what it was that he endea- 
 voured to prove. In fhort, Dry is a man of a clear me- 
 thodical head, but few words, and gains the fame ad- 
 vantage over Puzzle, that a fmall body of regular troops 
 would gain over a numberlefs undifciplined militia. G 
 
 Saturday, 
 
K° 477. THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 N° 477. . Saturday, September 6. 
 
 ■ An me ludit amabilis 
 
 Infanta ? audire, et videor pios 
 Err are per lucos, amoenae 
 
 Quos et aquae fubeunt, et aurae. 
 
 Hor. Od. 4. 1. 3. v. 5. 
 
 Does airy fancy cheat 
 
 I\Iy mind, well pleas' d with the deceit ? 
 
 1 fesm to hear, Ifeem to move, 
 
 And wonder thro'' the happy grove, 
 
 Where fmooth fprings flow, and murm'ring breeze 
 
 U anions thro' the waving trees. Creech. 
 
 I R,' 
 
 AVING lately read your eflay on the pleafures 
 of the imagination, I was fo taken with your 
 thoughts. upon fome of our Englifli gardens, 
 that I cannot forbear troubling you with a letter upon 
 that fubjecl:. I am one, you muft know, who am looked 
 upon as an hum.ourift in gardening. I have feveral acres 
 about my houfe, which I call my garden, and which a 
 fkilful gardener would not know what to call. It is a 
 confuflon of kitchin and parterre, orchard and flower- 
 garden, which lie fo mixt and interwoven with one 
 another, that if a foreigner, who had feen nothing of 
 our country, mould be conveyed into my garden at his 
 firft landing, he would look upon it as a natural wilder- 
 nefs, and one of the uncultivated parts of our country. 
 My flowers grow up in feveral parts of the garden in 
 the greatefi luxuriancy and profufion. I am fo far from 
 being fond of any particular one, by reafon of its rari- 
 ty, that if I meet with any one in a field which pleafes 
 me, I give it a place in my garden. By this means when 
 a (tranger walks with me, he is furprifed to fee feveral 
 large {pots of ground covered with ten thoufand diffe- 
 rent colours, and has often fingled out flowers that he 
 
 might 
 
22 THE SPECTATOR. NO4.77. 
 
 might have met with under a common hedge, in a field 
 or in a meadow, as fome of the greateft beauties of the 
 place. The only mehod I obferve in this particular, 
 is to range in the fame quarter the products of the fame 
 feafon, that they may make their appearance together, 
 and compofe a picture of the greateft variety. There is 
 the fame irregularity in my plantations, which run in- 
 to as great a wildnefs as their natures will permit. I 
 take in none that do not naturally rejoice in the foil, 
 and am pleafed when I am walking in a labyrinth of my 
 own railing, not to know whether the next tree I fhall 
 meet with is an apple or an oak, an elm or a pear-tree. 
 My kitchin has likewife its particular quarters alligned 
 it; for befides the wholfom luxury which that place 
 abounds with, I have always thought a kitchin-garden 
 a more pleafant fight than the fineft orangery, or artifi- 
 cial green-houfe. I love to fee every thing in its per- 
 fection, and am more pleafejd to furvey my rows of 
 colworts and cabbages, with a thoufand namelefs pot- 
 herbs, fpringing up in their full fragrancy and verdure, 
 than to fee the tender plants of foreign countries kept 
 alive by artificial heats, or withering in an air and foil 
 that are not adapted to them. I muff, not omit, that 
 there is a fountain riling in the upper part of my gar- 
 den, which forms a little wandring rill, and adminifters 
 to the pleafure as well as the plenty of the place. I have 
 fo conducted it, that it vifits mo ft of my plantations; 
 and have taken particular care to let it run in the fame 
 manner as it would do in an open field, fo that it gene- 
 rally pafTesjthro' banks of violets and primrofes, plats 
 of willow, or other plants, that fcem to be of its own 
 producing. There is another circumftance in which I 
 am very particular, or, as my neighbours call me, very 
 whimfical : as my garden invites into it all the birds 
 of the country, by offering them the conveniency of 
 fprings and (hades, folitude and fhelter, I do not fuffer 
 any one to deftroy their nefts in the fpring, or drive 
 them from their ufual haunts in fruit-time. I value my 
 garden more for being full of blackbirds than cherries, 
 and very frankly give them fruit for their fongs. By 
 this means I have always the mufic of the feafon in its 
 perfection, and am highly delighted to fee the -jay or 
 
 the 
 
Ts°477- THE SPECTATOR. 23 
 
 the thrufh hopping about my walks, and (hooting before 
 my eye acrofs the feveral little glades and alleys that I 
 pafs thro'. I think there'are as-many kinds of garden- 
 ing as of poetry : your makers of parterres and flower- 
 gardens, are epigrammatifts and fonneteers in this art: 
 contriveis of bowers and grottos, treillages and cas- 
 cades, are romance writers. Wife and London are our 
 heroic poets : and if, as a critic, I may fingle out any 
 paflage of their works to commend, I fhall take no- 
 tice of that part in the upper garden, at Kenfington, 
 which was at firfl nothing but a gravel pit. It muff have 
 been a fine genius for gardening, that could have 
 thought of forming fuch an unfightly hollow into fo 
 beautiful an area, and to have hit the eye with fo un- 
 common and agreeable a fcene as that which it is now 
 wrought into. To give this particular fpot of ground 
 the greater effect, they have made a very pleafing con- 
 trail: ; for as on one lide of the walk you fee this hol- 
 low bafon, with its feveral little plantations lying fo 
 conveniently under the eye of the beholder ; on the 
 other ilde of it there appears a feeming mount, made 
 up of trees riling one higher than another in propor- 
 tion as they approach the centre. A fnectator, who 
 has not heard this account of it, would think this cir- 
 cular mount was not only a real one, but that it had 
 been actually fcooped out of that hollow fpace which I 
 have before mentioned. I never yet met with any one 
 who has walked in this garden, who was not ftruck 
 with that part of it which I have here mentioned. As 
 for myfelf, you will find, by the account which I have 
 already given you, that my compofitions in gardening 
 are altogether after the Pindaric manner, and run into 
 the beautiful wildnefs of nature, without affecting the 
 nicer elegancies of art. What I am now going to 
 mention, will, perhaps, deferve your attention more 
 than any thing I have yet faid. I find that in the 
 difcourfe which I fpoke of at the beginning of my let- 
 ter, you are againfr filling an Englifh garden with ever- 
 greens ; and indeed I am fo far of your opinion, that I 
 can by no means think the verdure of an ever-green 
 comparable to that which fhoots out annually, and 
 clothes our trees in the fummer-feafon. But I have 
 
 often 
 
24 THE SPECTATOR. NO 477. 
 
 often wondered that thofe who are like myfelf, and love 
 to live in gardens, have never thought of contriving a 
 Winter-Garden, which would conliil of fuch trees on- 
 ly as never caft: their leaves. We have very often little 
 {hatches of funfhine and fair weather in the mod un- 
 comfortable parts of the year, and have frequently fe* 
 veral days in November and January that are as agree- 
 able as any in the finefl months. At fuch times, there- 
 fore, I think there could not be a greater pleafure, than 
 to walk in fuch a Winter-Garden as I have propofed. 
 In the fummer-feafon the whole country blooms, and 
 is a kind of garden, for which reafon we are not fo 
 fenlible of thofe beauties that at this time may be every 
 where met with ; but when nature is in her defolation, 
 and prefentsus with nothing but bleak and barren pro- 
 fpects, there is fomething unfpeakably chearful in a 
 fpot of ground which is covered with trees that fmile 
 amidfl: all the rigour of winter, and give us a view of 
 the moll gay feafon in the midft of that which is the 
 mod dead and melancholy. I have fo far indulged my- 
 felf in this thought, that I have fet apart a whole acre 
 of ground for the executing of it. The walls are cover- 
 ed with ivy inftead of vines. The laurel, the horn- 
 beam, and the holly, with many other trees and plants 
 of the fame nature, grow fo thick in it, that you can- 
 not imagine a more lively fcene. The glowing red- 
 nefs of the berries with which they are hung at this 
 time, vies with the verdure of their leaves, and are apt 
 to infpire the heart of the beholder with that vernal 
 delight which you have fomewhere taken notice of in 
 your former papers. It is very pleafant, at the fame 
 time, to fee the feveral kinds of birds retiring into this 
 little green fpot, and enjoying themfelves among the 
 branches and foliage, when my great garden, which I 
 have before mentioned to you, does not afford a lingle 
 leaf for their fhelter. 
 
 YOU mull know, Sir, that I look upon the pleafure 
 which we take in a garden, as one of the molt innocent 
 delights in human "life. A garden was the habitation 
 of our firft parents before the fall. It is naturally apt to 
 fill the mind with calmnefs and tranquillity, and to lay 
 all its turbulent paflions at reft. It gives us a great 
 
 infight 
 
No 478. THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 2J 
 
 infight into the contrivance and wifdom of providence, 
 and fuggefts innumerable fubjecTs for meditation. S 
 cannot but think the very complacency and fatisfaclion 
 which a man takes in thefe works of nature, to be a 
 laudable, if not a virtuous habit of mind. For all 
 which reafons I hope you will pardon the length of my 
 prefent letter. 
 C 1 am, 
 
 S 1 R, etc. 
 
 Ufus, 
 
 Quern penes arbitrhun eft, et jus et norma 
 
 Hor. Ars Poet. v. 72. 
 Fajhions a judge, a law, and ftandard rule. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 IT happened lately, that a friend of mine, who had 
 many things to buy for his family, would oblige 
 me to walk with him to the mops. He was very 
 nice in his way, and fond of having every thing fhewn, 
 which at firit made me very uneafy ; but as his humour 
 (till continued, the things which I had been (taring at 
 along with him, began to fill my head, and led me 
 into a fet of amufing thoughts concerning them. 
 
 I FANCIED it mull be very furprizing to any one 
 who enters into a detail of fafhions, to confider how 
 far the vanity of mankind has laid itfelf out in drefs, 
 what a prodigious number of people it maintains, and 
 what a circulation of money it occafions. Providence 
 in this cafe makes ufe of the folly which we will not 
 give up, and it becomes inftramental to the fupport 
 of thofe who are willing to labour. Hence it is that 
 fringe-makers, lace-men, tire-women, and a number 
 of other trades, which would be ufelefs in a fimple 
 ftate of nature, draw their fubfiftence; though it is 
 VOL. VII. B . ' J:ldom 
 
26 THE SPECTATOR. N© 478, 
 
 feldom feen that fuch as thefe are extremely rich, be- 
 caufe their original fault of being founded upon va- 
 nity, keeps them poor by the light inconftancy of its 
 nature. The variablenefs of fafliion turns the flreara 
 of bufinefs, which flows from it, now into one chan- 
 nel, and anon into another ; fo that the different fets 
 of people fink or flonrifh in their turns by it. 
 
 FROM the mops we retired to the tavern, where 
 I found my friend exprefs i'o much fatisiaction for the 
 bargains he had made, that my moral reflections, if I 
 had told them, might have palled for a reproof; fo I 
 chofe rather to fall in with him, and let the difcourfe 
 run upon the ufe of fafhions. 
 
 HERE we remembered how much man is governed 
 by his fenfes, how lively he is (truck by the objects 
 which appear to him in an agreeable manner, how 
 much clothes contribute to make us agreeable objects, 
 and bow much we owe it to ourfelves that we fhould 
 appear fo. 
 
 WE confidered man as belonging to focieties ; fo- 
 cieties as formed of different ranks ; and different 
 ranks diftinguifhed by habits, that all proper duty or 
 refpect might attend their appearance. 
 
 W E took notice of feveral advantages which are 
 met with in the occurrences of converfation : how the 
 bafhful man has been fometimes fo raifed, as to ex- 
 prefs himfelf with an air of freedom, when he imagines 
 that hishabit introduces him to company withabecom- 
 ing manner ; and again, how a fool in fine clothes 
 (hall be fuddenly heard with attention, till he has be- 
 trayed himfelf; whereas a man of fenfe appearing with 
 adrefs of negligence (hall be but coldly received, till he 
 be proved by time, and eftablifhed in a charatfer. Such 
 things as thefe we could recollecf to have happened 
 to our own knowlege fo very often, that we conclud- 
 ed the author had his reafons, who advifes his fon to 
 go in drefs rather above his fortune than under it. 
 
 A T hit the fubject feemed fo confiderable, that it 
 was propofed to have a repofitory built for fafhions, 
 as there are chambers for medals and other rarities. 
 The building may be fhaped as that which (lands among 
 the pyramids, in the form of a woman's head. This 
 
 may 
 
N° 478. THE SPECTATOR. 27 
 
 may be raifed upon pillars, whole ornaments fliall bear 
 a julr. relation to the defign. Thus there maybe an 
 imitation of fringe carved in the bafe, a fort of appear- 
 ance of lace in the frize, and a reprefentation of cur* 
 ling locks, with bows of ribbon Hoping over them, 
 may fill up the work of the cornifh. The infide may 
 be divided into two apartments appropriated to each 
 fex. The apartments may be filled with (helves, on 
 which boxes are to ftand as regulaily as books in a li- 
 brary. Thefe are to have folding-doors, which being 
 opened you are to behold a baby diefled out in fome 
 fafhion which has flourilhed, and Handing upon a pe* 
 dedal, where the time of its reign is marked down. 
 For its. farther regulation, let it be ordered, that every 
 one who invents a fafliion fliall bring in his box, 
 whofe front he may at pleafure have either worked of 
 painted with fome amorous or gay device, that, like 
 books with gilded leaves and covers, it may the fooner 
 draw the eyes of the beholders. And to the end that 
 thefe may be preferved with all due caie, let there be 
 a keeper appointed, who fliall be a gentleman qualified 
 with a competent knowlege in clothes ; fo that by this 
 means the piace will be a comfortable fupport for fome 
 beau who has fpent his eftate in drefling. 
 
 THE reafons offered by which we expect to gain 
 the approbation of the public, were as follows. 
 
 FIRST, That every one who is confiderable enough 
 to be a mode, and has any imperfection of nature or 
 chance, which it is poflible to hide by the advantage 
 of clothes, may, by coming to this repolitory, be fur- 
 niflied herfelf, and furnifli all who are under the fame 
 misfortune, with the mod agreeable manner of conceal- 
 ing it ; and that on the other fide, every one who has 
 any beauty in face or ihape, may alfo be furniflied with 
 the mod agreeable manner of fhewing it. 
 
 SECONDLY, That whereas fome of our young 
 gentlemen who travel,' give us great reafon to fufpect 
 that they only go abroad to make or improve a fancy ' 
 for drefs, a project of this nature may be a means to 
 keep them at home, which is in effect the keeping of 
 fo much money in the kingdom. And perhaps the ba- 
 lance of fafhion in Europe, which now leans upon the 
 B 2 fide 
 
23 THE SPECTATOR. N° 4 78. 
 
 fide of France, may be fo altered for the future, that 
 it may become as common with Frenchmen to come to 
 England for their finifhingftroke of breeding, as it has 
 been for Englifhmen to go to France for it. 
 
 THIRDLY, "Whereas feveral great fcholars, who 
 might have been otherwife ufeful to the world, have 
 fpent their time in ftudying to defcribe the dreffes of 
 the antients from dark hints, which they are fain to 
 interpret and fupport with much learning --/it will from 
 henceforth happen, that they mail be freed from the 
 trouble, and the world from ufelefs volumes. This 
 project will be a regiftry, to which pofterity may have 
 recourfe, for the clearing foch obfcure paflTages as tend 
 that way in authors ; and therefore we flial] not for the 
 future fubmit ourfelves to the learning of etymology, 
 which might perfuade the age to come, that the far- 
 thingal was worn for cheapnefs, or the furbelow for 
 warmth. 
 
 FOURTHLY, Whereas they who are old them- 
 felves, have often a way of railing at the extravagance 
 of youth, andthewholeage in which theirchildrenlive; 
 it is noped that this ill humour will be much fuppref- 
 fed, when we can have recourfe to the fafhions of 
 their times, produce them in our vindication, and be 
 able to fhew that it might have been as expenfive in 
 queen Elizabeth's time only to wafh and quill a ruff, 
 as it is now to buy cravats or neck-handkerchiefs. 
 
 W E deiire alfo to have it taken notice of, that be- 
 caufe we would mew a particular refpect to foreigners, 
 which may induce them to perfect their breeding here 
 in a knowlege which is very proper for pretty gentle- 
 men, we have conceived the motto for the houfe in 
 the learned language. There is to be a picture over 
 the door with a looking-glafs and a dreffing chair in 
 the middle of it : then on one fide are to be feen, a- 
 bove one another, patch-boxes, pin-cufhions, and 
 little bottles ; on the other, powder-bags, puffs, 
 ' combs, and brumes ; beyond thefe, (words with fine 
 knots, whofe points are hidden, and fans almoft clof- 
 ed, with the handles downward, are to ftand out in- 
 terchangeably from the fides, till they meet at the 
 top, and form afemicircle over the reft of the figures: 
 
 beneath 
 
K°473. THE SPECTATOR, 29 
 
 beneath all, the writing is to run in this pretty found- 
 ing manner : , 
 
 Adejle, quotquot funt, Veneres, Graticie, Cupidities, 
 En vobis a IJ'uitt in promptu 
 Faces, vinculo, fpicula ; 
 Hinc eligite, fumite, regite. 
 
 All ye Venufes, Graces, and Cupids, attend : 
 See prepared to your hands 
 Darts, torches, and bands : 
 
 Your weapons here choofe, and your empire extend. 
 / am, SIR, 
 
 Tour moft humble fervant, 
 
 A. B. 
 
 THE propofal of my correfpondent I cannot but 
 look upon as an ingenious method of placing perfons 
 (whofe parts make them ambitious to exert themfelves 
 in frivolous things) in a rank by themfelves. In order 
 to this, I would propofe that there be a board of di- 
 rectors ©f the fafhionable fociety ; and becaufe it is a 
 matter of too much weight for a private man*to de- 
 termine alone, I mould be highly obliged to my cor- 
 refpondents if they would give in lifts of perfons qua- 
 lified for this truft. If the chief coffee-houfes, the con- 
 verfations of which places are carried on by perfons, 
 each of whom has his little number of followers and 
 admirers, would name, from among themfelves, two 
 or three to be inferted, they fhould be put up with 
 great faithfulnefs. Old beaus are to be prefented in 
 the firft place ; but as that feet, with relation to drefs, 
 is almoft extinct, it will, I fear, be abfolutely necefta- 
 ry to take in all time-fervers, properly fo deemed ; 
 that is, fuch as, without any conviction of confidence 
 or view of intereft, change with the world, and that 
 merely from a terror of being out of faftiion. Such al- 
 fo, who, from facility of temper, and too much ob- 
 fequioufnefs, are vicious againft their will, and fol- 
 low leaders whom they do not approve, for want of 
 courage to go their own way, are capable perfons for 
 this fuperintendency. Thofe who are loth to grow 
 old, or would do any thing contrary to the courfe 
 B 2 and 
 
50 THE SPECTA T O R. N° 4-9. 
 
 and order of things, out of fondnefs to be in fafhion, 
 are proper candidates. To conclude, thofe who are 
 in falhion without apparent merit, mult be fuppofed to 
 have latent qualities, which would appear in a poftof 
 direction ; and therefore are to be regarded in forming 
 thcfe lifts. Any who mall be pleated according to 
 thefe, or what farther qualifications may occur to him- 
 felf, to fend a lift, is defired to do it within fourteen, 
 days after this date. 
 
 N. B. THE place of the phyfician to this foci ety, ac- 
 tor ding to the lajl mentioned qualification, is already en- 
 gaged. T 
 
 479. Tuefday, September 9. 
 
 Dare jura maritis. Hor. ArsPoet. v. 3518. 
 
 To regulate the matrimonial life. 
 
 A N Y are the epiftles I every day receive from 
 hufbands, who complain of Vanity, pride, 
 bat above all, ill-nature, in their wives. I 
 cannot tell how it is, but I think I fee in all their let- 
 ters, that the caufe of their uneafinefs is in themfelves ;, 
 and indeed I have hardly ever obfcrved the married 
 condition unhappy, but for want of judgment or tem- 
 per in the man. The truth is, we generally make 
 love in a ftile, and with fentiments very unfit for or- 
 dinary life : they are half theatrical, half romantic. 
 33y this means we raife our imaginations to what is not 
 to be expected in human life ; and becaufe we did not 
 beforehand think of the creature we are enamoured of, 
 as fubjecl: to difhumour, age, ficknefs, impatience, or 
 fullennefs, but altogether confidered her as the object 
 of joy, human nature itfelf is often imputed to her as 
 her particular imperfection or defect. 
 
 I TAKE it to be a rule proper to be obferved in all 
 occurrences of life, but more efpecialiy in thedomeftic 
 or matrimonial part of it, to preferve always a difpofi-- 
 
 . ' lion 
 
 * 
 
No 479. THE SPECTATOR. 31 
 
 tion to be pleafed. This cannot be fupported but by 
 confidering things in their right light, and as nature 
 has formed them, and not as our own fancies and ap- 
 petites would have them. He then who took a young 
 lady to his bed, with no other consideration than the 
 expectation of fcenes of, dalliance, and thought of her, 
 aslfaid before, only as fee was to administer to the gra- 
 tification of delire ; as that defire flags, will, without 
 her fault, think her charms and her merit abated : 
 from hence rnuft follow indifference, diflike, pecvifh- 
 nefs. and rage. But the man who brings his reafon 
 to fupport his paflion, and beholds what he loves as 
 liable to all the calamities of human life both in body 
 and mind, and even at the beft whatmuft bring upon 
 him new cares and new relations ; fuch a lover, I fay, 
 will form himfelf accordingly, and adapt his mind to 
 the nature of his circumitances. This latter perfon 
 will be prepared to be a father, a friend, an advocate, 
 a fteward for people vet unborn, and has proper affe- 
 ctions ready for every incident in the marriage ftate. 
 Such a man can hear the cries of children with pity in- 
 ftead of anger ; and when they run over his head, he 
 is not difturbed at their noife, but is glad of their mirth 
 and health. Tom Trufty has told me, that he thinks 
 it doubles his attention to the moll: intricate affair he is 
 about, to hear his children, for whom all his cares 
 are applied, make a noife in the next room : on the 
 other fide, Will Sparkifh cannot put on his peiiwig,or 
 adjufthis cravat at the glafs, for the noife of thole 
 damned nurfes and fqualling brats ; and then ends 
 with a gallant reflection upon the comforts of matri- 
 mony, runs out of the hearing, and drives to the cho- 
 colate-houfe. 
 
 ACCORDING as the hufband is difpofecHn himfelf, 
 every circumftance of his life is to give him torment 
 or pleafure. When the affection is well placed, and 
 fupported by the confiderations ef duty, honour, and 
 friendfhip, which are in the higheft degree engaged in 
 this alliance, there can nothing rife in the common 
 courfe of life, or from the blows or favours of for- 
 tune, in which a man will not find matters of fome 
 delight tt&known to a (ingle condition. 
 
 B 4 HE 
 
32 THE SPECTATOR. N° 479. 
 
 HE who fincerely loves his wife and family, and 
 iiudies to improve that affeclion in himfelf, conceives 
 pleafure from the molt indifferent things ; while the 
 married man, who has not bid adieu to the fafhions 
 and falfe gallantries of the town, is perplexed with 
 every thing around him. In both thefe cafes men can- 
 not, indeed, make a fillier figure, than in repeating 
 fuch pleafures and pains to the reft of the world ; but 
 I fpeak of them only, as they fit upon thofe who are 
 involved in them. As I vifit all forts of people, I can- 
 not indeed but fmile, when the good lady tells 
 her hufband what extraordinary things the child 
 ipoke fince he went out. No longer than yeflerday 
 I was prevailed with to go home with a fond huf- 
 band ; and his wife told him, that his fon, of his 
 own head, when the clock in the parlour flruck two, 
 faid, Papa would come home to dinner prefently. 
 While the father has him in -a rapture in his arms, and 
 is drowning him with kifTes, the wife tells me he is but 
 juft four years old. Then they both ftruggle for him, 
 and bring him up to me, and repeat his obfervation of 
 two o'clock. I was called upon, by looks upon the 
 child, and then at me, to fay fomething ; and I told 
 the father, that this remark of the infant, of his. coming 
 home, and joining the time with it, was a certain in- 
 dication that he would be a great hiftorian and chro- 
 nologer. They are neither of them fools, yet receiv- 
 ed my compliment with great acknowlegement of my 
 prefcience. I fared very well at dinner,, and heard ma- 
 ny other notable fayings'of their heir, which would 
 have given very little entertainment to one lefs turn- 
 ed to reflection than I was ; but it was a pleafing fpe- 
 culation to remark on thehappinefs of a life, in which 
 things of no moment give occ&fion of hope, felf-fatif- 
 fadion, and triumph. On the other hand, I have 
 known an ill-natured coxcomb, who has hardly im- 
 proved in any thing but bulk, for want: of this difpo^ 
 fition, filencethe whole family, as a fet of filly women 
 and children, for recounting things which were really 
 above his own capacity. 
 
 WHEN I fay all this, I cannot deny but there are 
 jperverfe jades that fall -to mens lots, with whom It re- 
 quires 
 
 # 
 
N°479- THE SPECTATOR. 33 
 
 quires more than common proficiency in philofophy to 
 be able to live. When thefe are joined to men of warm 
 fpirits, without temper or learning, they are frequent- 
 ly corrected with ftripes : but one of our famous law- 
 yers is of opinion, that this ought to be ufed fparing- 
 ly ; as I remember, thole are his very words : but as 
 it is proper to draw fome fpiritual ufe out of all affli- 
 ctions, I mould rather recommend to thofe who are 
 vifited with women of fpirit, to form themfelves for 
 the world by patience at home. Socrates, who is by 
 all accounts the undoubted head of the feet of the hen- 
 pecked, owned and acknowleged that he owed great 
 part of his virtue to the exercife which his ufeful wife 
 conftantly gave it. There are feveral good infrructi- 
 ons may be drawn from his wife anfwers to people of 
 lefs fortitude than himfelf on her fiibject. A friend, 
 with indignation, afiied how fogood a man could live 
 with fo violent a creature ? He obferved to him, That 
 they who learn to keep a good feat on horfeback,mount the 
 leafl manageable they can get , and when they have nia- 
 ftered them, they are fure never to be difcompofed on the 
 backs of feeds lefs reftive. At feveral times, to diffe- 
 rent perfons, on the fame fubject, he has faid, My 
 dear friend, you are beholden to Xantippe, that I bear fo 
 •well your flying out in a difputc. To another, My hen 
 clacks very much, but /he brings me chickens. They 
 that live in a trading fire et, are not difturbed at thepaf- 
 fage of carts. I would have, if poffible, a wife man 
 be contented with his lot, even with a fhrew ; for 
 though he cannot make her better, he may, you fee ? 
 make himfelf better by her means. 
 
 BUT Inftead of purfuing my delign of difplaying 
 conjugal love in its natural beauties and attractions, I 
 am got into tales to the difadvantage of that ftate of 
 life. I rnuft fay therefore, that I am verily perfuaded 
 that whatever is delightful in human life, is to be en- 
 joyed in greater perfection in the married, than in the 
 fingle condition. He that has this paffion in perfecti- 
 on, in occafions of joy can fay to himfelf, befides his 
 own fatisfa&ion, How happy will this make my wife 
 and children ? Upon occurrences of diftrefs or danger 
 can comfort himfelf, But all this while my wife and 
 B S - child- 
 
34 THE SPECTATOR. N° 480. 
 
 children are fafe. There is fomething in it that doubles - 
 fatisfactions becaufe others participate them ; and dil- 
 pels afflictions, becaufe others are exempt from them. 
 All who are married without this relifli of their cir- 
 cumftance, are in either a taftelefs indolence and ne- 
 gligence, which is hardly to be attained, or elfe live 
 in the hourly repetition of (harp anfwers, eager up- 
 braidings, and diffracting reproaches. In a word, the 
 married ffate, with and without the affection fuitable 
 to it, is the completed image of heaven and hell we 
 are capable of receiving in this life. T 
 
 N°48o. Wed?iefday> September 10. 
 
 Refponfare cupidinibtts, coniemnere honorcs, 
 Fortls, et in feipfo totus, teres atquc rotundas. 
 
 Hor. Sat. 7. 1. 2. v. 85. 
 
 Who' s proof againft the charms of vain delight : 
 
 Whom feeble fortune Jlrives in vain to wound, 
 
 So clofely gathered in a perfecl round. Creech. 
 
 1"^HE other day looking over thofe old manu- 
 fcripts, of which I have formerly given fome 
 account, and which relate to the character of 
 the mighty Pharamond of France, and the clofe friend" 
 fhip between him and his friend Eucrate ; I found a- 
 mong the letters which had been in the cuftody of the 
 latter, an epiftle from a country gentleman to Phara- 
 mond, wherein he excufes himielf from coming to 
 court. The gentleman, it feems, was contented with 
 his condition, had formerly been in the king's fer- 
 vice ; but at the writing the following letter, had, 
 from leifure and reflection, quite another fenfe of 
 things than that which he had in the more active part 
 of his life. 
 
 Ma feu 
 
N° 480. THE SPECTATOR. 35 
 
 Monfieur Chezluy to Pharamond. 
 
 Dread Sir, 
 
 I HAVE from your own hand (inclofed under the 
 cover of Mr. Eucrate of your majefly's bed- 
 chamber) a letter which invites me to court. I un- 
 derstand this great honour to be done me out of re- 
 fpedt and inclination to me, rather than regard to 
 your own fervice : for which reafons I beg leave to 
 lay before your majefly my reafons for declining to 
 depart from home ; and will not doubt but, as your 
 motive in deflring my attendance was to make me 
 an happier man, when you think that will not be ef- 
 fected by my remove, you will permit me to ftay 
 where I am. Thofe who have an ambition to ap- 
 pear in court, have ever an opinion that their per- 
 fons or their talents are particularly formed for the 
 fervice or ornament of that place ; or elfe are hur- 
 ried by downright defire of gain, or what they call 
 honour, or take upon themfelves whatever tbe ge- 
 nerofity of their mafter can give them opportunities 
 to grafp at. But your goodnefs mail, not be thus 
 impofed upon by me : I will therefore confefs to 
 you, that frequent folitude, and long converfation 
 with fiich who know no arts which polifh life, have 
 made me the plaineft creature in your dominions. 
 Thofe lefs capacities of moving with a good grace, 
 bearing a ready affability to all around me, and act- 
 ing with eafe before many, have quite left me. I am 
 come to that, with regard to my perfon, that I con- 
 sider it only as a machine I am obliged to take care 
 of, in order to enjoy my foul in its faculties with a- 
 lacrity ; well remembering, that this habitation of 
 clay will, in a few years, be a meaner piece of earth 
 than any utenfil about my houfe. When this is, as 
 it really is, the moft frequent reflection I have, you 
 will eafilyimaginehowwell.Ifhould become a drawing- 
 room : add to this, what (hall a man without defires 
 do about the generous Pharamond ? Monfieur Eucra- 
 te has hinted to me, that you have thoughts of di- 
 flinguifhing me with titles. As fotmyfelf, in the 
 temper of my prefent mind, appellations of honour 
 
 ' would 
 
3 6 THE SPECTATOR. N° 480.- 
 
 * would but embarrafs difcourfe, and new behaviour 
 
 * towards me perplex me in every habitude of life. I 
 
 * am alio to acknowlege to you, that my children, of 
 ' whom your majefty condefcended to enquire, are all 
 i of them mean, both in their perfons and genius. 
 
 * The eftate my eldeft fon is heir to, is more than he 
 
 * can enjoy with a good grace. My felf-love will not 
 f carry me fo far, as to impofe upon mankind the ad- 
 4 vancement of perfons (merely for their being relat- 
 
 * ed to me) into high distinctions, who ought, for their 
 i own fakes, as well as that of the public, to affect ob- 
 
 * fcurity. I wifh, my generous prince, as it is in 
 4 your power to give honours and offices, it were al-v 
 
 * fo to give talents fuitable to them : were it fo, the 
 *. noble Pharamond would reward the zeal of my 
 
 * youth with abilities to do him fervice in my age. 
 
 4 THOSE who accept of favour without merit, fup- 
 
 * port themfelves in it at the expence of your majefty- 
 
 * Give me leave to tell you, Sir, this is the reafon 
 4 that we in the country hear fo often repeated the 
 i word prerogative. That part of your law which is. 
 
 * referved in yourfelf for the readier fervice and good 
 
 * of the public, flight men are eternally buzzing in our 
 
 * ears to cover their own follies and mifcarriages. It 
 
 * would be an addition to the high favour you have 
 
 * done me, if you would let Euerate fend me word how 
 s often, and in what cafes you allow a conftable to in- 
 
 * lift upon the prerogative. From the higheft to the 
 ' s loweft officer in your dominions, fomething of theiu 
 
 * own carriage they would exempt from examination 
 
 * under the fhelter of the word prerogative. I would 
 
 * fain, moft noble Pharamond, fee one of your officers 
 
 * affert your prerogative by good and gracious actions. 
 '. When is it ufed to help the afflicted, to refcue the in? 
 
 * nocent, to comfort the ftranger ? Uncommon me- 
 
 * thods, apparently undertaken to attain worthy ends, 
 
 * would never make power invidious. You fee, Sir, I 
 ■'. talk to you with the freedom your noble nature ap- 
 
 * proves in all whom you admit to your converfation. 
 
 * BUT, to return to your majefty's letter, I hum? 
 
 * bly conceive, that all diftinctions are ufeful to men, 
 I only as they are to act in public; and it would be a 
 
 * roman- 
 
N° 4 So. THE SPECTATOR. Qj 
 
 < romantic madnefs, for a man to be a lord in his clo-. 
 ' fet. Nothing can be honourable to a man apart 
 
 < from the world, but the reflection upon worthy a&i- 
 1 ons ; and he that places honour in a confcioufnefs 
 1 of well-doing, will have but little relifh for any om> 
 4 ward homage tSat is paid him, fince what gives him 
 
 * diftin&ion to himfelf, cannot come within the ob- 
 1 fervation of his beholders. Thus all the_ words of 
 1 lordfliip, honour, and grace, are only repetitions to a 
 
 * man that the king has ordered him to be called fo ; 
 ' but no evidences that there is any_ thing in himfelf 
 ' that would give the man, who applies to him,, thofe 
 i ideas, without the creation of his mafter. 
 
 \ I HAVE, mod noble Pharamond, all honours and 
 « all titles in your own approbation ; I triumph in 
 i them as they are your gift, I refufe them as they are 
 1 to give me the obfervation of others. Indulge me, 
 4 my noble mafter, in this chaftity of renown ; let me 
 ' know myfelf in the favour of Pharamond; and look 
 * down upon the applaufe of the people. I am, 
 
 In all duty and loyalty, 
 
 Tour majefty's moft obedient 
 Subjett andfervant? 
 
 Jean Chezluy. 
 
 S I R, 
 
 * T NEED not tell with what difadvantages men of 
 4 A low fortunes and great modefty come into the 
 ( world : what wrong meafures their diffidence of 
 4 themfelves, and fear of offending, often obliges 
 1 them to take ; and what a pity is it that their greateft 
 
 * virtues and qualities, that mould fooneft recommend 
 4 them, are the main obftacle in the way of their pre- 
 4 ferment. 
 
 ' THIS, Sir, is my cafe; I was bred at acountry- 
 4 fchool, where I learned Latin and Greek. The 
 < misfortunes of my family forced me up to town, 
 f where a profefTion of the politer fort has protected 
 * me againft infamy and want. I am now clerk to a 
 4 lawyer, and in times of vacancy and recefs from bu- 
 
38 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. N&^ft-. 
 
 finefs, have made myfelf ma^er of Italian and French ; 
 and tho' the progress I have made in my bufifaefs has 
 gained me reputation enough for one of my ftanding, 
 yet my mind fuggefts to me every day, that it is r,ot 
 upon that foundation I am to build my fortune. 
 * THE perfon I have my prefent dependence .tipon. 
 has it in his nature, as v/ell as in his power, to ad- 
 vance me, by recommending me to a gentleman that 
 is going beyond r ea in a public employment. I 
 know the printing this letter would point'me out to 
 thofe I want confidence to fpeak to, and I hope it is 
 not in your power to rcfufe making any body happy. 
 
 September, 9. 
 1712. 
 
 Tours, etc. 
 
 M. D. 
 
 N°48i. c Tburfday i September n. 
 
 : Uti non 
 
 Compojltus melius cum Bit ho Bacchius ; In jus 
 Acres procurrunt Hor. Sat. 7. 1. 1. v. 19, 
 
 Wot better match' 'd with Blthus Bacchius firove : 
 To law they run. ■ 
 
 IT is fomething pleafant enough to confider the 
 different notions which different perfons hsve of 
 the fame thing, if men of low condition very often 
 fet a value on things, which are not prized by thofe 
 who are in an higher ftation of life, there are many 
 things thefe efleem which are in no value among 
 perfons of an inferior rank. Common people are, 
 in particular, very much aftonifhed, when they hear 
 of thofe folemn contefts and debates, which are 
 made among the great upon the punctilios of a 
 public ceremony ; and wonder to hear that any 
 bufinefs of confequence fhould be retarded by thofe 
 little circumdances, which they reprefent to them- 
 felves as trifling and infignifkant. I am mightily 
 
 pleafed 
 
N° 481. THE S P E C T A T O R. 3? 
 
 plcafed with a porter's decifion in one of Mr. South- 
 ern's plays, which is founded upon that line diitrefs 
 of a virtuous woman's marrying a fecond hufband, 
 while her fir 11: was yet living. The firft hufband, who 
 was fuppofed to have been dead> returning to his houfe 
 after a long abfence, raifes a noble perplexity for the 
 tragic part of the play. In the mean while, the nurfc 
 and the porter conferring upon the difficulties that 
 would enfue in fuch a cafe, honeft Samfon thinks 
 the matter may be ealily decided, and folves it very 
 judicioufiy, by the old proverb, that if his firft ma- 
 iler be ftill living, The man mnft have his mare again. 
 There is nothing in my time which has fo much fur- 
 prifed and confounded the greateft part of my honeft 
 countrymen, as the prefent controverfy between count 
 Rechteren and monfieur Mefnager, which employs the 
 wife heads of fo many nations, and holds all the affairs 
 of Europe in fufpence. 
 
 UPON my going into a coifee-houfe yefterday, and 
 lending an ear to the next table, which was encom- 
 pafted with a circle of inferior politicians, one of them, 
 after having read over the news very attentively, broke 
 out into the following remarks. I am afraid, fays 
 he, this unhappy rupture between the footmen at 
 Utrecht will retard the peace of chriftendom. I wifh 
 the pope may not be at the bottom of it. His holi- 
 nefs has a very good hand at fomenting a divifion, 
 as the poor Swifs Cantons have lately experienced to 
 their coft. If monfieur What-d'ye-call him's domeftic 
 will not come to an accommodation, I do not know 
 how the quarrel can be ended, but by a religious 
 War. 
 
 WHY truly, fays a Wifeacre that fat by him, were 
 I as the king of France, I would fcorn to take part with 
 the footmen of-either fide : Here is all the bufinefs of 
 Europe ftands ftill, becaufe monfieur Mefnager's man 
 has had his head broke. If count Reclrum had given 
 them a pot of ale after it, all would have been well, 
 without any of this buftle ; but they fay he is a warm 
 man and does not care to be made mouths at. 
 
 U P O N this, one, that had held his tongue hi* 
 therto, began to exert himfelf ; declaring, that he was 
 
 very 
 
4o THE SPECTATOR. N® 4 8i. 
 
 very well pleafed the plenipotentaries of our chriflian 
 princes took this matter into their ferious confiderati- 
 on ; for that lackeys were never fo faucy and pragmati- 
 cal,, as they are now-a-days, and that he mould he glad 
 to fee them taken down in the treaty of peace, if it 
 might be done without prejudice to the public affairs. 
 
 ONE who fat at the other end of the table, and 
 feemed to be in the interelts of the French king, told 
 them, that they did not take the matter right, for that 
 his mod: chriflian majefty did not refent this matter 
 becaufe it was an injury done to monfieur Mefnager's 
 footmen ; for fays he, what are monfieur Mefnager's 
 footmen to him ? but becaufe it was done to his fub- 
 jedts. Now, fays he, let me tell you, it would look 
 very odd for a fubject of France to have a bloody nofe, 
 and his fovereign not to take notice of it. He is obli- 
 ged in honour to defend his people againfl hoftilities; 
 and if the Dutch will be fo infolent to a crowned head, 
 as, in any wife, to cuff or kick thofe who are under his 
 protection, I think he is in the right to call them to an 
 account for it. 
 
 THIS diftinction fet the controverfy upon a new 
 foot, and feemed to be very well approved by moft that 
 heard it, 'till a little warm fellow, who declared him- 
 felf a friend to the houfe of Auftria, fell moft unmer- 
 cifully upon his Gallic majefty, as encouraging his 
 fubjects to make mouths at their betters, and afterwards 
 ikreening them from the punifhment that was due to 
 their inf'olence. To which he added, that the French 
 nation was fo addi&ed to grimace, that if there was not 
 a ftop put to it at the general congrefs, there would be 
 no walking the ftreets for them in a time of peace, e- 
 fpecially if they continued mailers of the Weft-Indies. 
 The little man proceeded with a great deal of warmth, 
 declaring, that if the allies were of his mind, he would 
 oblige the French king to burn his gallies, and tolerate 
 the proteftant religion in his dominions, before he 
 would fheath his fword. He concluded with calling 
 monfieur Mefnager an infignificant prig. 
 
 THE difpute was now growing very warm, and 
 one does not know where it would have ended, had not 
 a young man of about one and twenty, who feems to 
 
 have 
 
NO 482. THE SPECTATOR. 4T 
 
 have been brought up with an eye to the law, taken 
 the debate into his hand, and given it as his opinion, 
 that neither count Rechteren nor monfieur Mefnager 
 had behaved themfelves right in this affair. Count 
 Rechteren, fays he, fhould have made affidavit that his 
 fervants had been affronted, and then monfieur Mef- 
 nager would have done him juftice, by taking away 
 their liveries from them, or fome other way that he 
 might have thought the moft proper ; for let me tell you, 
 if a man makes a mouth at me, I am not to knock the 
 teeth out of it for his pains. Then again, as for mon- 
 fieur Mefnager, upon his fervants being beaten, why, 
 he might have had his action of affault and battery. 
 But as the cafe now ftands, if you will have my opini- 
 on, I think they ought to bring it to referees. 
 
 I HEARD a great deal more of this conference, 
 but I muftconfefs with little edification; for all I could 
 learn at laft from thefe honeft gentlemen, was, that the 
 matter in debate was of too high a nature for fuch. 
 heads as theirs, or mine, to comprehend. O 
 
 N°482. Friday , September 12. 
 
 Floriferis ut apes infaltibut omnia libant. 
 
 Lucr. 1. 3. v. 11. 
 
 As from the fiveetefl fiow'rs the lab'ring bee 
 Extracts her precious fiveets. Creech. 
 
 WHEN I have publifhed any fingle paper that 
 falls in with the popular tafte, and pleafea 
 more than ordinary, it always brings me in a 
 geat return of letters. My Tuefday'sdifcourfe, where- 
 in I gave feveral admonitions to the fraternity of the 
 Henpecked, has already produced-me very many cor- 
 refpondents; the reafon I cannot guefs-at, unlefs it be 
 that fuch a difcourfe is of general ufe, and e,very marri- 
 ed man's money. An honeft tradefman, who dates 
 his letter from Cheapfide, fends me thanks in the name 
 ofacl ub, who, he tells me, meet as often as their- 
 
 wiyes 
 
42 THE SPECTATOR. _ NO382. 
 
 wives will give them leave, and flay together 'till they 
 are fent for home. He informs me, that my paper has 
 adminiftered great confolaticn to their whole club, and 
 defires me -to give fome further account of Socrates, 
 and to acquaint them in whefe fign he lived, whether 
 he was a citizen or a courtier, whether he buried Xan- 
 tippe, with many other particulars; for that by his 
 fayings he appears to have been a very wife man and a 
 good Christian. Another,, who writes himfelf Ben ja- 
 mine Bamboo, tells me, that being coupled with a 
 fhrew, he had endeavoured to tame her by fuch lawful 
 means as thefe which I mentioned in my laft Tugftlay's 
 paper, and that in his wrath he had often gone further 
 than Braclon allows in thofe cafes ; but that for the fu- 
 ture he was refolved to bear it like a man of temper 
 and learning, and confider her only as one who lives 
 in his houfe to teach him philofophy. Tom Dapperwit 
 fays, that he agrees with me in that whole difcourfe, 
 excepting only the laft fentence, where 1 affirm the 
 married (bate to be either an heaven or an hell. Tom 
 has been at the charge of a penny upon this occafion, 
 to tell me, that by his experience it is neither one nor 
 the other, but rather that middle kind of date, com- 
 monly called by the name of Purgatory. 
 
 THE fair fex have likewife obliged me with their 
 reflexions upon the fame difcourfe. A lady, who 
 calls herfelf Euterpe, and feems a woman ci letters, 
 afks me whether I am for eftablifhing the Salic law in 
 every family, and why it is not fit that a woman who 
 has difcretion and learning fhould fit at the helm, 
 when the hufband is weak and illiterate ? Another, of 
 a quite contrary character, fubferibes herfelf Xantippe, 
 and tells me, that ihe follows the example of her name- 
 fake ; for being married to a bookiih man, who has no 
 knowlege of the world, (he ?.s forced to take their af- 
 fairs into her own hands, and to fpirit him up now 
 and then that he may not grow rnufty, and unfit for 
 converfation. 
 
 AFTER this abrigement of fome letters which 
 are come to my hands upon this occafion, I lhallpub- 
 lifli one of them at large. 
 
 Mr. 
 
N° 482. THE SPECTATOR. 43 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 YOU have given us a lively picture of that kind 
 ofhufband who comes under the denomina- 
 tion of the hen-pecked ; but I do not remember that 
 you have ever touched upon one that is of the quite 
 different character, and who, in feveral places of 
 England, goes by the name of a cot-quean. I have 
 the misfortune to be joined for life with one of this 
 character, who in reality is more a woman than I 
 am. He was bred up under the tuition of a tender 
 mother, 'till me had made him as good a houfevvife 
 as herfelf. He could preferve apricots, and make gel- 
 lies, before he had been two years out of the nurfery. 
 He was never fuffered to go abroad, for fear of catch- 
 ing cold ; when he mould have been hunting down 
 a buck, he was by his mother's fide learning how 
 to f'eafon it, or put it in cruft; and was making pa- 
 pers-boats with his filters, at an age when other young 
 gentlemen are cfdffiftg the leas, or travelling into 
 foreign countries. He has the whitefr. hand that 
 you ever faw in your life, and raifes parte better than 
 any woman in England. Thefc qualifications make 
 him a fad hulband : he is perpetually in the kitchen, 
 and has a thoufand fquabbles with the cook-maid. 
 He is better acquainted with the milk-fcore, than his 
 fteward's accounts. I fret to death when I hear him 
 find fault with a difh that is not dreiled to his lik- 
 ing, and inftrucling his friends that dine with him in 
 the beft pickle for a walnut, or fauce for an hanch 
 of venifons. With all this, he is a very good-na- 
 tured hulband, and never fell out with me in his life 
 but once, upon the over-rofting of a dim of wild-fowl: 
 at the fame time I mult own I would rather he was a 
 man of a rough temper, that would treat me harfhly 
 fometimes, than of fuch an effeminate bufy nature 
 in a province that does not belong to him. Since 
 you have given us the character of a wife who wears 
 the breeches, pray fay fomething of a hufband that 
 wears the petticoat. Why mould not a female cha» 
 racier be as ridiculous in a man, as a male character 
 in one of our fex ? 
 O I am } etc. 
 
 Saturday t 
 
44 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. NO4S3. 
 
 N° 483. Saturday > September 13. 
 
 Nee deus inter fit, nifi dignus vindice nodus 
 
 Incident 1 Hor. Ars Poet. v. 191. 
 
 Never pre fume to make a god appear ■, 
 But for a bujinefs worthy of a god. 
 
 Roscommon. 
 
 WE cannot be guilty of a greater ad of unchari- 
 tablenefs,than to interpret the afflictions which 
 befalour neighbours, as punifhments and judg- 
 ments. It aggravates the evil to him who fuifers, 
 when he looks upon himfelf as the mark of divine 
 vengeance, and abates the compaffion of thofe towards 
 him, who regard him in fo dreadful a light. This hu- 
 mour of turning every misfortune into a judgment 
 proceeds from v/rong notions of religion, which, in its 
 Own nature, produces good-will towards men, and puts 
 the mildeft conftruction upon every accident that be- 
 fals them. In this cafe, therefore, it is not religion 
 that fours a man's temper, but it is his temper that fours 
 his religion: People of gloomy nnchearful imaginati- 
 ons, or of envious malignant tempers, whatever kind 
 of life they are engaged in, will difcover their natural 
 tincture of mind in all their thoughts, words, and a- 
 ctions. As the fined wines have often the tafte of the 
 foil, fo even the moft religious thoughts often draw 
 fomething that is particular from the conflitution of 
 the mind in which they arife. When folly or fuperfti- 
 tion ftrike in with this natural depravity of temper, it 
 is not in the power, even of religion itfelf, to preferve 
 the character of the perfon who is polfefTed with it, 
 from appearing highly abfurd and ridiculous. 
 
 AN old maiden gentlewoman, v/hom I fhall conceal 
 under the name of Nemefis, is the greater! difcoverer 
 of judgments that I have met with. She can tell you 
 what fin it was that fet fuch a man's houfe on fire, or 
 blew down his barns. Talk to her of an unfortunate 
 
 young 
 
No 483' THE SPECTATOR. 45 
 
 young lady that loft her beauty by the fmall-pox, fhe 
 fetches a deep figh, and tells you, that when (he had a 
 fine face (He was always looking on it in her glafs. 
 Tell her of a piece of good-fortune that has befailen 
 one of her acquaintance ; and fhe wifhes it may profper 
 with her, but her mother ufed one of her neices very 
 barbaroufly. Her ufual remarks turn upon people who 
 had great eltates, but never enjoyed them, by reafon of 
 fome flaw in their own, or their father's behaviour. 
 She can give you the reafon why fuch a one died child- 
 lefs : why fuch an one was cut off in the flower of 
 his youth: why fuch an one was unhappy in her mar- 
 riage: why one broke his leg on fuch a particular fpot 
 of ground, and why another was killed with a back- 
 iword, rather than with any other kind of weapon. 
 She has a crime for every misfortune that can befal 
 any of her acquaintance ; and when fhe hears of a rob- 
 bery that has been made, or a murder that has been 
 committed, enlarges more on the guilt of the fufFering 
 perfon, than on that of the thief or the afTaffin. In 
 fhort, (he is fogood a chriftian, that whatever happens 
 to herfelf is a trial, and whatever happens to her neigh- 
 bours is a judgment. 
 
 THE very defcription of this folly, in ordinary 
 life, is fufficient to expofe it; but when it appears in a 
 pomp and dignity of (tile, it is very apt to amufe and 
 terrify the mind of the reader. Herodotus and Plu- 
 tarch very often apply their judgments as impertinent- 
 ly as the old woman I have before mentioned, though 
 their manner of relating them makes the folly itfelf ap- 
 pear venerable. Indeed, moft hiftorians, as well chri- 
 liian as pagan, have fallen into this idle fuperftition, 
 and fpoken of ill fuccefs, unforefeen difafters, and ter- 
 rible events, as if they had been let into the fecrets of 
 providence, and made acquainted with that private con- 
 duct by which the world is governed. One would think 
 feveral of our own hiftorians in particular had many 
 revelations of this kind made to them. Our old Englifli 
 monks feldom let any of their kings depart in peace, 
 who had endeavoured to diminifh the power or wealth 
 of which the ecclefiaftics were in thofe times poire fled. 
 William the Conqueror's race generally found their 
 
 judg- 
 
•46 THE SPECTATOR. NO 483.- 
 
 ments in the New-Foreft, where their father had pul- 
 led down churches and monafteries. In ihort, read one 
 of the chronicles written by an author of this frame of 
 mind, and you would think you were reading an hiflo- 
 ry of the kings of Ifrael or Judah, where the hiftori- 
 ans were actually infpired, and where, by a particular 
 fcheme of providence, the kings were diitinguifhed by 
 judgments or bleflings, according as they promoted 
 idolatry or the worfhip of the true God. 
 
 I CANNOT but look upon this manner of judging 
 upon misfortunes, not only to be very uncharitable in 
 regard to the oerfor. whom they befal, but very prefump- 
 tuous in regard to him who is fuppofed to inflict them. 
 It is a ftrong argument for a flate of retribution here- 
 after, that in this world virtuous perfons arc very of- 
 ten unfortunate, and vicious perfons profperous ; which 
 is wholly repugnant to the nature of a being who ap- 
 pears infinitely wife and good in all his works, unlefs 
 we may fuppofe that fuch a promifcuous and undiftin- 
 guifhing distribution of good and evil, which was ne-< 
 celfary for carrying on the defigns of providence in 
 this life, will be rectified and made amends for in ano- 
 ther. We are not therefore to expect that iire fhould 
 fall from heaven in the ordinary courfe of providence; 
 nor when we fee triumphant guilt or deprefled virtue 
 in particular perfons, that omnipotence will make bare 
 its holy arm in the defence of the one, or punifhment 
 of the other. It is fufficient that there is a day fet a- 
 part for the hearing and requiting cf both according to 
 their refpective merits. 
 
 THE foliy of afcribing temporal judgments to any 
 particular crimes, may appear from fcveral confederati- 
 ons. I fhall only mention two: Firft, That, generally 
 fpeaking, there is no calamity or affliction, which is 
 fuppofed to have happened as a judgment to a vicious 
 man, which does not fometimes happen to men of ap- 
 proved religion and virtue. WhenDiagoras the atheifr. 
 was on board one of the Athenian fhips, there arofe a 
 very violent tempeft: upon which the mariners told 
 him, that it was a juft judgment upon them for having 
 taken fo impious a man on board. Diagoras begged 
 them to look upon the reft of the fhips that were in the 
 
 fame 
 
K° 4 83- THE SPECTATOR. 47 
 
 fame diftrefs, and aflced them whether or no Diagoras 
 was on board every veffel in the fleet. We are all in- 
 volved in the fame calamities, and fubjecl to the fame 
 accidents : and when we fee any one of the fpecies un- 
 der any particular oppreflion, we (hould look upon it 
 as arifing from the common lot of human nature, ra- 
 ther than from the guilt of the perfon who fuffers. 
 
 ANOTHER conhderation, that may check our 
 prcfumption in putting fuch a conftrucYion upon a mif- 
 fortune, is this, that it is impoflible for us to know 
 what are calamities and what are blefTings. How ma- 
 ny accidents have paHed for misfortunes, which have 
 turned to the welfare and profperity of the perfons in 
 ' re lot they have fallen ? How many difappoint- 
 ments have, in their confequences, faved a man from 
 ruin ? If we could look into the effecls of every thing, 
 we might bft allowed to pronounce boldly upon blef- 
 ftngs and judgments ; but for a man to give his opini- 
 on of what he fees but in part, and in its beginnings, 
 is an unjustifiable piece of rafhnefs and folly. The (lo- 
 ry of Biton and Clitobus, which was in great reputati- 
 < * nong the heathens, (for we fee it quoted by all the 
 antient authors, both Greek and Latin, who have writ- 
 ten .ipon the immortality of the foul,) may teach us a 
 caution in this matter. Thefe two brothers, being the 
 fens of a lady who was prieftefs to Juno, drew their 
 mother's chariot to the temple at the time of a great 
 folemnity, the perfons being abfent who by their office 
 were to have drawn her chariot on that occafion. The 
 mother was fo tranfported with this inftance of filial 
 duty, that fne petitioned her goddefs to bellow upon 
 them the greateft gift thai could be given to men ; up- 
 on which they were both call: into a deep fleep, and the 
 next morning found dead in the temple. This was 
 fuch an event, as would have been conftrued into a 
 judgment, had it happened to the two brothers after 
 an aft of difobedience, and would doubtlefs have been 
 reprefented as fuch by any ancient hiftorian who had 
 given us an account of it, O 
 
 Monday, 
 
o 
 
 4$ THE SPECTATOR. NO484. 
 
 N° 484. Monday, September 1 5. 
 
 Neque cuiqv.am tarn flatim clarum ingenium ef?, ut pi fit 
 emergere; nifi illi materia, occajio, fuutor etiam com- 
 mendatorque contingat. Plin. Epifl:. 
 
 No man'' 's abilities are fo remarkably fhining, as not to 
 /land in need of a proper opportunity, a patron, and 
 even the praifes of a friend, to recommend them to the 
 notice of the world. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 F all the young fellows who are in their pro- 
 grefs thro' any profeflion, none feem to have 
 fo good a title to the protection of the men of 
 eminence in it as the modeft man; not fo much be- 
 caufe his modefty is a certain indication of his merit, 
 as becaufeitis a certain obitacle to the producing of it. 
 Now, as of all profeifions this virtue is thought to be 
 more particularly unneceffary in that of the law than 
 in any other, I mail only apply mylelf to the relief 
 of fuch who follow this profeflion with this difadvan- 
 tage. What aggravates the matter is, that thofeper- 
 fons who, the better to prepare themfelves for this 
 ftudy, have made fome progrefs in others, have, by 
 addicting themfelves to letters, increafed their na- 
 tural modefty, and confequently heightened the ob- 
 ftruclion to this fort of preferment; fo that every one 
 of thefe may emphatically be faid to be fuch a one as 
 lal>ouretb and taketh pains, and is fill the more be- 
 hind. It may be a matter worth difcufling then, 
 Why that Which made a youth fo amiable to the an- 
 cients, mould make him appear fo ridiculous to 
 the moderns ? and, Why in our days there fhould 
 be neglect, and even oppreffion of young begin- 
 ners, inllead of that protection which was the 
 pride of theirs? In the profeiHon fpoken of, it 
 is obvious to every one whofe attendance is re- 
 quired at Weftminfter-Hall, with what difficulty a 
 
 ' youth 
 
N°4$4« THE SPECTAT OR. 
 
 49 
 
 youth of any modefty has been permitted to make 
 an obfervation, that could in no wile detract from the 
 merit of his elJers, and is absolutely necelfary for the 
 advancing his own. I have often feen one of thefe 
 not only molefted in his utterance of fomething very 
 pertinent, but even plundered of his queftion, and 
 by a ftrong fetjeant fiiouldered out of his rank, which 
 he has recovered with much difficulty and confufi- 
 on. Now as great part of the buflnels of this profef- 
 licn might be difparched by one that perhaps 
 
 Ahcfl vh-iute diferti 
 
 Mejfalaty nee fat quantum Caufieltiws Aldus ; 
 
 Hor. Ars Poet. v. 
 
 370. 
 
 -wants MefTala's powerful eloquence, 
 
 And is lefs read than deep Caufelius ; 
 
 R o s c o m m o n . 
 fo I cannot conceive the injuftice done to the public, 
 if the men of reputation in this calling would intro- 
 duce fuch of the young ones into bu/inefs, whofe ap- 
 plication to this ftudy will let them into the fecrets 
 of it, as much as their modefty will hinder them from 
 the practice; I fay, it would be laying an everlafting 
 obligation upon a young man, to be introduced at firft 
 only as a mute, till by this countenance, and a refo- 
 lution tofupportthe good opinion conceived of him 
 in his betters, his complexion (hail be fo well fettled, 
 that the litigious of this ifland may be fecure of h'.s 
 obftreperous aid. If I might be indulged to {peak in 
 the (Hie of a lawyer, I would fay, That any one about 
 thirty years of age might make a common motion to 
 the court with as much elegance and propriety as the 
 mo ft aged advocate in the hall. 
 
 ' I CANNOT advance the merit of modefty by any 
 argument of my own fo powerfully, as by inquiring 
 into the fentiments the greateft among the ancients 
 of different ages entertained upon this virtue. If we 
 go back to -the days of Solomon, we (hail find favour 
 a necelfary confequence to a fname-faced man. Pliny, 
 the greateft lawyer and moft elegant writer of the 
 age he lived in, in feveral of his epiftles is very folici- 
 tous in recommending to the public fomc voting men 
 
 VOL. VII. C * of 
 
50 THE SPECTATOR. N° 484 . 
 
 ' of his own profeflion, and very often undertakes to 
 
 * become an advocate, upon condition that fome one 
 
 * of thefe his favourites might be joined with him, in 
 
 * order to produce the merit of fuch, whofe modeliy 
 
 * otherwife would have fupprefTed it. It may feem ve- 
 
 * ry marvellous to a faucy modern, that Mult nm fan- 
 ' guinis,multumverecundiae } ?nu'tumfoHcitudinis in ore; 
 
 * to have the face fir ft full of blood, then the countenance 
 
 * dajhed •with mode fly, and then the whole afpeft as of 
 6 one dying with fear, when a man begins to fpeak ; 
 £ fhould be efteemed by Pliny the neceflary qnaliiicati- 
 
 * ons of a fine fpeaker. Shakefpear alfo has exprelFed 
 
 * himfelf in the fame favourable (train of modeity, 
 ' when he fays, 
 
 In the mode fly of fearful duty 
 
 1 read as much as from the rattling tongue 
 Of fancy and audacious eloquence 
 
 ' NOWfince thefe authors have profefled themfelves 
 ' for the modeft man, even in the utmoft confufions 
 
 * of fpeech and countenance, why mould an intrepid 
 
 * utterance and a reiolute vociferation thunder fo fuc- 
 
 * cefsfully in our courts of juftice? And why mould 
 
 * that confidence of fpeech and behaviour, which feems 
 ' to sxknowlege no fuperior, and to defy all contradi- 
 
 * ction, prevail over that deference and refignation 
 ' with which the modeft man implores that favourable 
 
 * opinion which the other feems to command ? 
 
 * AS the cafe at prefent (lands, the belt confolation 
 ' that I can adminilter to thofe who cannot get into 
 ' that ftroke of bnfinefs (as the phrafe is) which they 
 
 * defcrve, is to reckon every particular acquilkion of 
 ' knowlege in this ftudy as a real increafe ol their for- 
 ' tune ; and fully to believe, that one day this imagi- 
 
 * nary gain will certainly be made out by one more 
 
 * fubftantial. I wilh you would talk to us a little on 
 
 * this head, you would oblige, 
 
 S I R, Your humble fervant. 
 
 THE author of this letter is certainly a man of 
 good fenfe : but I am perhaps particular in my opinion 
 on this occalion ; for I have obferved, that under the 
 
 notion 
 
K° 484. THE SPECTATOR. 51 
 
 notion of modefty, men have indulged themfelves ia 
 a fpiritlefs fheepifhnefs, and been for ever loft to them- 
 felves, their families, their friends, and their country. 
 When a man hatf taken care to pretend to nothing 
 but what he may juftly aim at, and can execute as well 
 as any other, without injuftice to any other ; it is ever 
 want of breeding or courage to be brow-beaten or el- 
 bowed out of his honeft ambition. I have faid often, 
 modefty mull be an ad of the will, and yet it always 
 implies felf-denial: For if a man has an ardent defire 
 to do what is laudable for him to perform, and, from an 
 unmanly bafhfulnefs, {brinks away, and lets his merit 
 languifh in filence, he ought not to be angry at the 
 world that a more unfkilful actor fucceeds in his part, 
 becaufe he has not confidence to come upon the ftage 
 bhnfelf? The generofity my correfpondent mentions 
 of Pliny, cannot be enough applauded. To cherim the 
 dawn of merit, and haften its maturity, was a work 
 worthy a noble Roman and a liberal fcbolar. That 
 concern which is defcribed in the 'etter, is to all the 
 World the greateft charm imaginable; but then the 
 mode!!: man muft proceed, and drew a latent refolution 
 in himfelf; for the admiration 01 his modefty arifes 
 From the manifeftation of his merit. Imuft confefs we 
 live in an age wherein a few empty blufterers carry a- 
 way the praife of fpeaking 7 while a croud of fellows 
 over-ftocked with knowlege are run down by them : I 
 fay, over-ftocked, becaufe they certainly are fo as to 
 their fervice of mankind, if from their very ftore they 
 raife to themfeivos. ideas of refpec~t,and greatnefs of the 
 occafion, .and I know not what, to difable themfelves 
 from explaining their thoughts. I mu ft confefs, when I 
 have feec Charles Frankair rife up-with a commanding 
 mien, andtorrentof handfom words, talk a mile off the 
 purpofe,and drive down twenty bafhful boobies often 
 times his fenfe, who at the lame time were, envying his 
 impudence and defpifing his understanding, it has been 
 matter of great mirth to me; but it foon ended in a 
 fecret lamentation, that the fountains of every thing 
 praife-worthy in thefe realms, the univerfities, mould 
 be fo muddied with a falfe fenfe of this virtue, as to 
 produce n,ea capable of being fo abufed. I will be bold 
 C 2 te 
 
*2 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 N° 485. 
 
 to fay, that it is. a ridiculous education which does not 
 qualify a man to make his belt appearance before the 
 greatefi man and the fined woman to whom he can ad- 
 drefs . himfelf. "Were this judicioufly corrected in the 
 nurferies of learning, pert coxcombs would know their 
 diftance: but we muff bear with this falfe modefly in 
 our young nobility and gentry, 'till they ceafe at Ox- 
 lord and Cambridge to grow dumb in the ftudy of elo- 
 quence, T 
 
 N°485. Tuefday, September 16. 
 
 Nihil tarn firmum efl, qui tericulum non (it , etiam 
 ab invalido. Quint. Curt. 1. 7. c. 8. 
 
 7 he ftroigeft things are in danger even from the 
 -weaken. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 ®~ Y lord Clarendon has obferved, That few men 
 have 'done more harm than tho/eivho have been 
 thought 10 be able to do leaji ; and there can- 
 4 not be a greater error, than to believe a man whom we 
 1 fee qualified with too mean parts to do good, to be there- 
 ' fore incapable of doing hurt. There is a fupply ofma- 
 1 lice, of pride, of induflry, and even of folly, in the 
 
 * weake/l, when hefets his heart upon it, that makes a 
 
 * ftrange progrefs in mifchief. "What may feem to the 
 ' reader the greateft paradox in the reflexion of the 
 ' hiftorian, is, 1 fuppofe, that folly, which is gene- 
 
 * rally thought incapable of contriving or executing 
 ' any defign, fhould be fo formidable to thofe whom it 
 
 * exerts itfelf to moleft. But this will appear very plain, 
 ' if we remember that Solomon fays, // isfport to a fool 
 1 to do mifchief; and that he might the more emphati- 
 1 cally exprefs the calamitous circumftances of hiin who 
 i falls under the difpleafure of this wanton perfon, the 
 i fame author adds further, That a /lone is heavy, and 
 1 the find weighty, but a fool's -wrath is heavier than 
 1 them both. It is impoflible to fupprefs my own illu- 
 
 ' flration 
 
N° 4 85- THE SPECTATOR. 53 
 
 « ftration upon this matter, which is, that as the man 
 « of fagacity beitirs bimfelf to diftrefs his enemy by 
 I methods probable and reducible to reafon, fo the 
 f. fame reafon will fortify his enemy to elude thefe his 
 
 * regular efforts; but your fool projeds, ads, and con- 
 
 * eludes with fuch notable inconfiflence, trrat no regu- 
 « lar courfe of thought can evade or counterplot his 
 
 < prodigious machinations. My frontifpiece, I believe, 
 
 * may be extended to imply, That feveral of our mis- 
 i fortunes arife from things, as well as perfons that 
 
 * feem of very little convenience. Into what tragical 
 
 * extravagancies does Shakefpear hurry Othello upon 
 
 < the lofs of an handkerchief only ? and what barbari- 
 1 ties does Defdemona fuffer from a flight inadvertency 
 1 in regard to this fatal trifle 2 If the febemes of all 
 
 * the enterprizing fpirits were to be carefully examin- 
 i ed, fome intervening accident, not confiderable e- 
 '< nough to occafion any debate upon, or give them any 
 •< apprehenfion of ill confequence'from it, will be found 
 
 * to be the occafion of their ill fuccefs, rather than any 
 
 * error in points of moment and difficulty, which natu- 
 ' rally engaged their matureft deliberations, if you go 
 1 to the levee of any great man, you will obferve hin-i 
 
 * exceeding gracious to feveral very iniignificant fel- 
 < lows ; and this upon this maxim, That the neglect of 
 
 * any perfon muft arife from the mean opinion you have 
 1 of his capacity to do you any fervice or prejudice; 
 ' and that this calling his fufficiency in question, muft 
 ' give him inclination, and where this is, there never 
 ' wants ftrength or opportunity to annoy you. There 
 
 * is no body fo weak of invention, that cannot aggra- 
 ■' vate or make fome little ftories to vilify his enemy ; 
 ' and there are very few but have good inclinations to 
 1 hear them, and it is infinite pleafure to the majority 
 i of mankind, to level a perfon fuperior to his neigh- 
 
 -*■ bours. Befides,in all matters of controverfy, that party 
 
 * which has the greateft abilities labours under this pre - 
 
 * judice, that he will certainly be fu-ppofed, upon account 
 ' of his abilities, to have done an injury, when perhaps 
 
 * he has received one. It would be tedious to enume- 
 ' rate the (trokes that nations and particular friends 
 f have fuffered from perfons very contemptible. 
 
 C 2 ' I 
 
£4 THE SPECTATOR. N° 45^, 
 
 * I THINK Henry IV. of France, fo formidable to his 
 neighbours, could no more be fecured againft the re- 
 foute villany of Kavillac, than Villiers, duke of 
 Buckingham, could be againft that of Felton. And 
 there is no incenfed perfon fo deftitute, but can pro- 
 vide himfelf with a knife or a piftol, if he finds fto- 
 mach to apply them. That things and perfons of 
 no moment fhoufd give fuch powerful revolutions to 
 the progrefs of thofe of the greateft, Items a providen- 
 tial difpofition to bafHe and abate the pride of hu- 
 man fufficiency ; as alfo to engage the humanity and 
 benevolence of fuperiors to all below them, by letting 
 them into thi&fecret, that the flronger depends upon 
 the weaker. 
 
 1 am t SIR, Tour very humble fervant. 
 
 Dear Sir, Temple, Paper-Buildings* 
 
 I RECEIVED a letter from you fome time ago, 
 which I mould have anfwered fooner, had you in- 
 formed me in yours to what part of this ifland I might 
 have directed my impertinence; but having been let 
 into the knowlege of that matter, this handfom ex- 
 cufe is no longer ferviceable. My neighbour Pretty- 
 man fnall be the fubject of this letter ; who falling in 
 with the SPECTATOR'sdo&rine concerning the month 
 of May, began from that feafon to dedicate himfelf to- 
 the fervice of the fair in the following manner. I ob- 
 served at the beginning of the month he bought him a 
 new night-gown, either fide to be worn outwards, 
 both equally gorgeous and attractive ; but 'till the end 
 of the month I did not enter fo fully into the know- 
 lege of his contrivance, as the ufe of that garment 
 has fincefuggefted to me. Now you mull know that 
 all new clothes raife and warm the wearer's imagina- 
 tion into a conceit of his. being a much finer gentle- 
 man than he was before, banifhing all fobriety and 
 reflexion, and giving him up to gallantry and amour. 
 Inflamed therefore with this way of thinking, and full 
 of the fpirit of the month of May, did this mercilefs 
 youth refolve upon the bufinefs of captivating. At 
 £rft he confined himlelf to his room only, now and 
 
 * thea 
 
K o 4 8 5 . THE SPECTATOR. 5? 
 
 « then appearing at his window in his night-gown, and 
 « PBftilng that eafy pofture which expreifes the very 
 
 * $ and dignity of languilhment It was pleafant 
 i to P fee him diverfify his lSvelinefs fometimes obl.gmg 
 
 ■ the rfengers only with a fide-face, with a book in 
 
 ■ his hand? fometirftes being fo generous ■*»**- 
 
 ■ pofe the whole in the fulnefs of us beauty ; at other 
 
 * times, by a judicious throwing bick of his penwig he 
 
 « would throw in his ears. You know he is that fort of 
 < perfon which the mob call a hanafom jolly man ; 
 « which appearance cannot mifs of captives m this part 
 
 * of the town. Being emboldened by daily fuccefs, he 
 
 * leaves his room with a refolution to extend his con- 
 
 * tfflefts ; and I have apprehended him in his mgnt- 
 « Jown fmiting in all parts of this neighbourhood 
 
 4 THIS I "being of an amorous complexion, law 
 < with indignation, and had thoughts of purchafing a 
 <wi C in thefe parts; into which, being at a greater 
 
 * difance from the earth, I might have thrown a very 
 ' liberal mixture of white horfe-hair, which would make 
 « a fairer, and confequently a handfomer appearance, 
 ' while my fituation would fecure me agamlt any culcc- 
 <veries But the paflion to the handforo gentleman 
 « feems to be fo fixed to that part of the building, that 
 « it will be extremely difficult to divert it to mine, io 
 
 * that I am refolved to ftand boldly to the complexion 
 < of my own eye-brow, and prepare me an immenie 
 « black wig of the fame fort of ftrutfure with that of 
 « my rival. Now, though by this I (hall not, perhaps, 
 
 * lei'fen the number of the admirers of his complexion, 
 l I (hall have a fair chance to divide the paiiengers by 
 « the irrefiftible force of mine. " 
 
 * I EXPECT fudden difpatches from you, with ad- 
 
 * vice of the familv you are in now, how to deport my- 
 
 < felf upon this fo' delicate a conjuncture; with iome 
 
 * comfortable refolutions in favour of the handiom. 
 
 < black man againft the handfom fair one. 
 
 Jam, S J R, Your moji humble fervent, 
 
 N. B. He who writ this, is a black man two pair of 
 /fairs'; the gentleman of whom he writes, is fair, and 
 .ncfalr of fairs. ^ ^ 
 
56 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. N° 486. 
 
 Mr. Spectator., 
 
 ONLY fay, that it is impoffible for me to fay how 
 much I am 
 
 Tours, 
 
 Robin Shorter. 
 
 P. S. * I fhall think it a little hard, if you do not 
 
 * take as much notice of this epiflle, as you have of the 
 
 * ingenious Mr. Short's. I am not afraid to let the 
 ' world fee which is the deeper man of the two. 
 
 ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 London, September 15. 
 WHEREAS a young woman on horfeback, in an eque- 
 ftrian habit , out ho i~$lh 1 njl ant in the evening met the 
 Spectator within a mils and an half of this town, 
 &nd flying in the face ofju/lice, pulled off her hat, in 
 which there was a feather, with the mien and air of a 
 young officer, faying at the fame time, Tour fervant ,Mr . 
 Spec, or words to that purpofe ; This is to give notice, 
 . that if any perfon can difcover the name, and place of a- 
 lode of the f aid offender, fo as /he can be brought to ju~ 
 jlice, the informant Jh all have all fitting encouragement . 
 
 N° 486. Wednefday, September 17. 
 
 Audire eft operae pretium, procedere recle 
 
 Qui moechis non vultis Hor. Sat. 2. 1. I. v. 38 < 
 
 Imitated. 
 
 - All you, who think, the city ne'er can thrive, 
 Till ev'ry cuckold-maker y s fed' 'd alive, 
 Attend Pope. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 HERE are very many of my acquaintance fol- 
 lowers of Socrates, with more particular regard 
 to that part of his philofophy which wc, among 
 ourfelves, call his DoraefUcs; underwhich denomina- 
 
 F1R. o 
 
 T 
 
 tion, 
 
N° 4 86. THE SPECTATOR. 57 
 
 ticn, cr title, we include all the conjugal joys and 
 fnfferings. We have indeed, with very great pleafure, 
 obferved the honour you do the whole fraternity of 
 the hen-pecked, in placing that illuftrious man at our 
 head, and it does in a very great meal u re baffle the ral- 
 lery of pert rogues, who have no advantage above us, 
 but in that they are (ingle. But when you look about 
 into the croud of mankind, you will find the fair fex 
 reigns with greater tyranny over lovers than hus- 
 bands. You (hall hardly meet one in a thonfand who 
 is wholly exempt from their dominion, and thofe that 
 are fo are capable of no talle of life, and breathe and 
 walk about the earth as infignificants. But I am go- 
 ing todeiire your further favour in behalf of our harm- 
 lefs brotherhood, and hope you will (hew in. a true 
 light the unmarried hen-pecked, as well as you have 
 done juftiee to us, who (ubmit to the conduct of our 
 wives. I am very particularly acquainted with one 
 who is under intire fubmiilion to a kind girl, as he 
 calls her ; and tho' he knows I have been witnefs both 
 to the ill ufage he has received from- her, and his in- 
 ability to refill her tyranny, he ftiii pretends to make 
 a jeft of me for a little more than ordinary obfequi- 
 oufnefs to my fpoufe. No longer than Tuefday lalt he 
 took me with him to vifit his miftrefs ; and he having, 
 it fcems, been a little in difgrace before, thought by- 
 bringing me with him (he would conftrain herfelf, and 
 in(en(ibly fall into general difcourfe- with him; and 
 fo he might break the iee, and fave himfelf all the 
 ordinary compunctions and mortifications (he ufed to 
 make him fuffer before (he would be reconciled, after 
 any act of rebellion on his part. YV heir- we came into 
 the room, we were received with the utmoftcoldnefs; 
 and when he prelented me as Mr. fuch-a-one, his very 
 good friend, (he juft had patience to fu(fer my faluta- 
 tion ;, but when he himfelf ? , with a very gay air, of- 
 fered to follow me, (he gave him a thundering box on 
 the ear, called him a pitiful poor-fpirited wretch, how 
 durft he fee her face ? His wig and hat fell on diffe- 
 rent parts of the floor. She feized the wig too foon 
 for him to recover it, and kicking it down flairs, threw 
 herfelf into an oppolite room, pullinp the door after 
 C. £ * hfiBP 
 
£# THE SPECTATOR. N° 4 £& 
 
 ' her with a force, that you would have thought the 
 ' hinges would have given way. We went down, you 
 
 * mult think, with no very good countenances; and as 
 ' we fneaked off, and were driving home together, he- 
 ' confefTed to me, that her anger was thus highly raifed, 
 
 * becaufe-he did not think tit to fight a gentleman who. 
 1 had faid, fhe was what fhe was ; but, fays he, a kind let-- 
 1 ter or two, or fifty pieces, will put her in humour a- 
 ' gain. I allied him why he did not part with her;, hean- 
 ' fweredjhelovcdherwith alLthe tendernefs imaginable^ 
 'and fhe had too many charms to be abandoned for a 
 
 * little quicknefs of fpirifc. Thus does this illegitimate 
 ' hen-pecked overlook the huffy 's having no regard to> 
 'his very life and.famSj. in putting him upon an infa- 
 '■ mous difpute about, her- reputation ; yet has he the 
 '■confidence to laugh. afcme-jbseaufe.1 obey my poor dear 
 
 * in keeping out of harm's way, and not (laying too late 
 ' from my own family, tc pais through- the hazards of 
 *-a town full of ranters and debauchees... You that are 
 
 * a philofopher mould urge in our behalf, that when we 
 
 * bear with a froward woman,.our patience is preferved, 
 'in confide/ction that- a breachw.hh her might be a dif- 
 ' honour to.- children, who are defcended from us, and: 
 'whofe concern raake-s us tolerate athoufanxl frailties, 
 
 * for fear they fhcu-ki redound dishonour upon the in- 
 
 * nocent-.. This and the like circumftances, which car-- 
 ••ry with them ths moil valuable regards of human lifcy. 
 'maybe mentioned for- our long fuffering}-. but in the 
 ' cafe of gallants*, they fwallow -ill ufage from one to. 
 
 * whom they have no obligation, but from a bafe paf- 
 ' lion, which it : is mean to indulge, and which it, would 
 '-be glorious to overcome. 
 
 *-. THE3E fort of fellows are very numerous, and 
 
 * fome have been confpicuoufly fuch, without fhame;: 
 *nay they have carried on the jeil in the very article of 
 'death, and, to the diminution of the wealth andhap- 
 
 * pinefs of their families, in -bar of thofe honourably. 
 .* near to them, have J eft immenfe wealth to their para- 
 '•mours. What is this but being a cully in the grave! 
 ' fure this is being hen-pecked with a vengeance ! But: 
 ' without dwelling upon thefe lefs frequent inftances of 
 
 >■ eminent cr.llYifm.whin is there fo.comm.on as. to hear, 
 
N© 4 8<$. 
 
 THE SPECTATOR'. 
 
 577 
 
 a fellow enrfe his fate that he cannot get rid of a paf- 
 lion to a jilt, and quote an half-line out of a mifcel- 
 lany poem to prove his weaknefs is natural ? If they 
 will go on thus, 1 have nothing to lay to it : but 
 then let them not pretend to be free all this while, 
 and laugh at us poor married patients. 
 ' I HAVE known one wench in this town carry an- 
 haughty dominion over her lovers fo well, that fhe 
 has at the fame time been- kept by a feu-captain in- 
 the Straits, a merchant in the city,, a country gen- 
 tleman in Hampfliire, and had all her correfponder- 
 ces managed by one fhe kept for her own ufes. 
 This happy man, as the phrafe is-,, ufed to write 
 very punctually, every pott, letters for die miflrcfs 
 to trinferibe. He would fit in his night gown and: 
 flippers, and be as grave giving; an account, on- 
 ly changing names-, that/there was • nothing.. in thole 1 
 idle reports they had heard cf fueh afcoundrtl as one 
 of the other lovers was ' r and how eotikl he think fhe 
 could condefcend fo low, after fuch a fine.eentieman 
 as each of them ?' For the fame apiftle faia the fame- 
 thing to and of every one of them. And fo Mr. Se- 
 cretary and his lady went to bed with great order. 
 ' TO be fho-rt, Mr. Spectator, we hufbands (hell 
 never make the figure we. ought in the imaginations 
 ot young men gvowing up in the wcrldj except you 
 can bring it about that a man of thetown fhall be as 
 infamous a character as a woman of the town. But 
 of all that I have met- in my time, commend me 
 to Betty Duall : lhe is the wife of a failor, and the 
 keptmiirrefs of a man of quality ;.fhedwells with the 
 latter during the fea-faring of the former. The huf-- 
 band-ailcs no qtieftions, fees his apartments furnifhed- 
 with riches not his, when he comes into port, and the 
 lover is as joyful as a man • arrived at his haven wbeiv 
 the other puts to fe-a. Betty is the moft eminently, 
 victorious of any of her fex, and ought: to- (land re- 
 corded the only woman of the age in which fhe lives, 
 who has pofTelfed at the fame time two abufed, and 
 twa contented IT 
 
 9£J«r$feg& 
 
THE SPECTATOR. N° 4S7. 
 
 N° 487. c ThnrJday y September 18. 
 
 ■ Cum proflrata fopore 
 
 Urget membra atties, et mens fine pondere ludit.. Petr- 
 While Jleep oppreffes the tir'd limbs , the mind 
 Plays without weight, and wantons unconfu'd.. 
 
 THOUGH there are many authors-, who have 
 written on dreams, they have generally confi- 
 dered them only as revelations of what has al- 
 ready happened in diftant parts of the- world, or as pre- 
 fages of what is to happsn iafuture periods of time. 
 
 I SUA L L confides? this fubject in another, light, as- 
 dreams may give us feme idea of the great excellency 
 of an human foul, and forne intimation of its indepen- 
 dency on matter^ 
 
 IN the fir ft place, our dreams are great Lnftances of 
 that activity which is natural to- the- human foul, and 
 which it is not- in the power of fleep to deaden or -a- 
 bate. When the man appears tired and worn out with 
 the labours of the day, this active part in his competi- 
 tion is itill bufied and unwearied. When the organs 
 of fenfe want their due repofe and neceffary reparati- 
 ons, and the body is no longer, able to keep pace with 
 that fpiritual fubitar.ee to which it is united,.- the foul 
 exerts herfel-f in her feveral faculties, and continues in 
 action till her partner is again qualified to bear her 
 company. In this cafe dreams look like the relaxati- 
 ons and amufements of the foul, when the is difincum- 
 bered of her machine, her fports and recreations, when 
 lhe has laid her- charge afleep. 
 
 IIS the fecond place, dreams are an instance of that 
 agility arid perfection which is natural to the faculties 
 of the mind, when they are difengaged from the body. 
 The foul is clogged and retarded^ in her operations, 
 when lhe ads in conjunction with a companion that is 
 \'o heavy and unwieldy in its motions. But.in dreams, 
 ijt is wonderful to obferve with what a fprightlinefs and 
 sUscrlty ilie exerts herfclf. The flow of fpeech make 
 
 UJ>> 
 
N0 4 8 7 . THE SPECTATOR. 61 
 
 unpremeditated harangues, or converfe readily in lan- 
 guages that they are but little acquainted with. The 
 grave abound in plcafantries, the dull in repartees and 
 points of wit. There is not a more painful action of the 
 mind, than invention ; yet in dreams it works with that 
 eafe and activity that we are not fenlible when the fa- 
 culty is employed. For inllance, I believe every one, 
 fome time or other, dreams that he is reading papers, 
 books, or letters ; in which cafe the invention prompts 
 fo readily, that the mind is impofed upon, and miftakes 
 its own fuggef lions for the compofitions of another. 
 
 I SHALL, under this head, quote a pafTage out of 
 the Religio Medici, in which the ingenious author 
 gives an account of himfelf in his dreaming and his 
 waking thoughts. We are fomewhat more than ourfelvej 
 hi our Jleep\, and the jlumber of the body feems to be but 
 the waking of the foul. It is the ligation offenfe, but 
 the liberty of reafon; and our waking conceptions do not 
 match the fancies of our fleeps. At my nativity my afcen- 
 dant was the watery (ign of Scorpius : I was born in 
 the planetary hour of Saturn, and I think I have a piece. 
 &f that leaden planet in me. I am no way facetious , nor 
 difp'fed for the mirth and galliardize of company ; yet 
 in one dream I can compofe a whole comedy, behold the 
 aftion, apprehend the jefts, and laugh tnyfelf awake at 
 the conceits thereof. Were my memory as faithful as my 
 rcafon is then fruitful, I would never fludy but in my 
 dream r ; and this time alfo would I c hoof e for my devoti- 
 ons i but our proffer memories have then fo little hold of 
 our abflrat~l-ed under/landings, that they forget the flory, 
 and can only relate to our awakened fouls a conftfed and 
 broken tale of that that has pajfed — Thus it is obferv- 
 td that men fometimes, upon the hour of their departure, 
 do f peak and reafon above themfelves ; for then the foul 
 beginning to be freed from the ligaments of the body, be- 
 gins to reafon like herfelf, and to difcourfe. in a flrain 
 above mortality. 
 
 WE may likewife obferve, in the third place, that the 
 paffions affect the mind with greater ftrength when we 
 are afleep, than when we are awake. Joy and forrow 
 give us more vigorous fenfations of pain or pleafure at 
 this time, than at any other. Devotion likewife, as the 
 
62 THE SPECTATOR. 1S 7 ° 4 37, 
 
 excellent author above-mentioned has hinted, is in a 
 very particular manner heightened and inflamed, when 
 it riles in the foul at a time that the body is thus laid at 
 reft. Every man's experience will inform him in this 
 matter, tho r it is very probable, that this may happen 
 differently in different conftitutions. I fhall conclude 
 this head with the two following problems, which I fliall 
 leave to the fohition of my reader. Supposing a man 
 always happy in his dreams, and miferable in his wak- 
 ing thoughts, and that his life was equally divided be- 
 tween them, whether would he be more happy or mi- 
 ferable ? Were a man a king in his dreams, and a= 
 beggar awake, and dreamed as confecmentially, and in 
 as continued unbroken fchemes as he thinks when a- 
 wake, whether he would be in reality a king or a beg- 
 gar, or rather whether he would not be both ? 
 
 THERE is another circumftance, which methinks 
 gives us a very high idea of the nature of the foul, in 
 regard to what paifes in dreams ; I mean that innume- 
 rable multitude and variety of ideas which then arifein 
 her. Were that aftive watchful being only confeious 
 ©f her own exiftence at fuch a time, what a painful fo- 
 litude would her hours of fleep be ? Were the foul fen- 
 fible of her being alone in her fleeping moments, after 
 the fame manner that fhe is fenfible of it while awake, 
 the time would hang very heavy on her, as it often ac- 
 tually doe3 when fhe dreams that me is in ftich folitude. 
 
 Semper que rel'mqu'i 
 
 Sola fibi, femper longam incomitata vicfetur 
 
 he viam Virg. MA. 4. v. 466. 
 
 She feems alone 
 
 To wander in her fleep thro' ways unknown, 
 Guidlefs and dark- Dryden, 
 
 BUT this obfervation I only make by the way. 
 What I would here remark, is that wonderful power in 
 the foul, of producing her own company on thefe oc- 
 cafions. She converfes with numberlefs beings of her 
 own creation, and is tranfported into ten thoufand 
 fcenes of her own railing. She is herfelf the theatre, 
 the adors, and the beholder. This puts me in mind of a 
 
Tv0 4 ff7- THE SPECTATOR. 63 
 
 faying which I am infinitely pleafed with, and which 
 Ptutarch afcribes to Heraclitus, That all men whilft they 
 are awake are in one-common world;, but that each ofthem > 
 when he is afleep, is in a world of kTs own. The waking, 
 man is con'veriant in the world of nature; when he 
 fleeps he retires to a private world that is particular to 
 himfelf. There feems fomething in this confederation 
 tli at intimates to us a natural grandeur and perfection 
 in the foul, which is rather to be admired than explained. 
 I MUST not omit that argument for the excellency 
 of the foul, which I have feen quoted out of Tertulli- 
 an, namely, its power of divining in dreams. That fe- 
 veral fucb divinations have been made, none can que- 
 ftion, who believes the holy writings,, or who has but 
 the leaft degree of a common hiltorical faith ; there be- 
 ing innumerable infiances of this nature" in feveral au- 
 thors, both antient and modern, facred and profane, 
 Whether fitch dark prefages,fuch vifions of the night, 
 proceed from any latent power in the foul,. during this- 
 her date of abftraelion, or from any communication 
 with the fiipreme Being, or from any operation of fub- 
 ordinate fplrits, has been, a- great drfpute among the 
 learned; the matter of fact, is, I think, inconteftable, 
 and has been looked upon as fuch by the greateft writ- 
 ers, who have been never fu ''peeled either of fuperftiti- 
 on or enlhunafm. 
 
 I DO not fuppofe, that the foul in thefe inft'ances is 
 ictirely Ioofe and unfettered from the body; it is fufil- 
 cient, "if (he is not fo far funk, and immerfed in mat- 
 ter, nor intangled and perplexed in her operations, 
 with fuch motions of blood and fpirits, as when fhe' 
 actuates the machine in its waking hours. The corpo- 
 real union is flackned enough to give the mind more 
 play. The foul : feems gathered within herfelf, and re- 
 covers thatfpr'ng which is broke and weakened, when, 
 fhe operates more in concert with the body. 
 
 THE fpeculations I have here made, if they are not 
 arguments, they are at leaft ftrongintimations, not only 
 ef the excellency of an human foul, but of its indepen- 
 dence on the body ; and if they do not prove, do at leaft 
 confirm thefe two great points, which are eftablifhed by 
 ■many other reafons thatare altogether unanfwe-rable. O 
 
 Friday^ 
 
6 4 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 NO 4 83. 
 
 N°488. Friday, September ig. 
 
 Quanti emptae? parvo. Quant i ergo ? oclo ajjihus. Eheu! 
 
 Hor. Sat. 3. 1. 2. v. 156. 
 What doth it coft ? Not much, upon my word. 
 Hem much y pray ? Why, Two pence. Twopence'. 
 Lord ! - Creech. 
 
 I FIND, by feveralietters which I receive daily, that 
 many of my readers would be better pleafed to pay 
 three half-pence for my paper, than two-pence. 
 The ingenious T. W. tells me, that I have deprived 
 him of the beft part of his breakfah:, for that lince the 
 rife of my paper, he is forced every morning to drink 
 his dim of coffee by itfelf, without the addition of the 
 Spectator, that ufed to he better than lace to it. Euge- 
 nius informs me very obligingly, that he never thought 
 he mould have difliked any pailage in my paper, but 
 that of late there have been two words in every one of 
 them, which he could heartily wifh left out, viz. Price 
 two-pence. I have a le:ter from a fope-boiler, who con- 
 doles with me very affectionately, upon the nectffity 
 we both lie under of fetting a higher price on our 
 commodities, fince the late tax has been laid upon 
 them, and defiring me when I write next on that fub- 
 jecl, to fpeak a word or two upon the prefent duties on 
 caflle-fope. But there is none of thele my correfpon- 
 dents,who writes with a greater turn of good fenfe and 
 elegance cf expreflion, than the generous Philomedes, 
 who advifes me to valueevery Spectator at fix-pen-ce, and 
 promifes that he himfelf will engage for above an hun- 
 dred of his acquaintance, who dial] take it in at that 
 price. 
 
 LETTERS from the female world are likewife come 
 to me, in great quantities,upon the fame occafion ; and 
 as I naturally bear a great deference to this part of our 
 fpecies, I am very glad to find thatthofe who approve 
 my conduct in this particular, are much more nume- 
 rous than thofe who condemn it. A large family of 
 daughters have drawn me up a very handfom- remon- 
 strance.,. 
 
N° 488. THE SPECTATOR. 6s 
 
 (trance, in which they fet forth that their father hav- 
 ing refufed to take in the Spectator, tince the additio- 
 nal price was fet upon it, they offered him unanimous- 
 ly to bate him the article of bread and butter in the 
 tea-table account, provided the Spectator might be 
 ferved up to them every morning as ufnal. Upoia this 
 the old gentleman, being pleafed, it feems, with their 
 defire of improving themfelves, has granted them the 
 continuance both of the Spectator and their bread and 
 butter ; Saving given particular orders, that the tea- 
 table (hall be fet forth every morning with itscuftoma- 
 ry bill of fare, and without any manner of defalcation. 
 I thought myfelf obliged to mention this particular, 
 as it does honour to this worthy gentleman ; and if 
 the young lady Laetitia, who fent me this account, 
 wiii acquaint me with his name, I will infert it at 
 length in one of my papers, if he defires it. 
 
 I SHOULD be very glad to find out any expedient 
 that might alleviate the expence which this my paper 
 brings to any of my readers ; and, in order to it, mull 
 propofe two points to their confideration. Firft, that 
 if they retrench any the fnnllcll particular in their or- 
 dinary expence, it will eafdymuke up the baif-penny-a- 
 day, which we have now under confideration. Let a 
 lady facrifice but a fingle ribband to her morning ftu- 
 dies, and it will be fufficient : let a family burn but a 
 candle a-night lefs than their ufual number, and they 
 may take in the Spectator without detriment to their 
 private affairs. 
 
 IN the next place, if my readers will not go to the 
 price of buying my papers by retail, let them have pa- 
 tience, and they may buy them in the lump, without the 
 burden of a tax upon them. My (peculations, when 
 they are fold hngle, like cherries upon the Hick, are de- 
 lights for the rich and wealthy; after fome time they 
 come to market in greater quantities, and are every or- 
 dinary man's money. The truth of it is, they have a 
 certain flavour at their firft appearance, from feyeral 
 accidental circumftances of time, place, and perfon, 
 which they may lofe if they are not taken early ; but 
 in this cafe every reader is to confider, whether it is 
 not better for him to be half a year behind-hand with 
 
 the 
 
66 THE SPECTATOR. NO488, 
 
 the fifhionable and polite part of the world, than to 
 ftrain himfelf beyond his circumstances. My bookfeller 
 has no\r about ten thoufand of the third and fourth vo- 
 lumes, -which he is ready to publifh, having already 
 difpofed of as large an edition both of the firft and fe- 
 cond volume. As he is a perfon whofe head is'very 
 well turned to his bufinefs, he thinks they would be a 
 very proper prefent to be made to perfons at Chriiten- 
 ings, marriages, vifiting-days, and the like joyful fo- 
 lemnities, as feveral other books are frequently given 
 at funerals. He has printed them in fuch a little port- 
 able volume, that many of them may be ranged toge- 
 ther upon a fingle plate ; and is of opinion, that a fal- 
 ver of Spectators would be as acceptable an entertain- 
 ment to the ladies, as a falver of fweetmeats. 
 
 I SHALL conclude this paper with an epigram late- 
 ly fent to the writer of the Spectator, after having re- 
 turned my thanks to the ingenious author of it. 
 
 SIR, 
 
 1 TJAVING heard the following epigram very 
 ' JlJL much commended, I wonder that it has not 
 
 * yet had a place in any of your papers ; I think the 
 
 * fufFrage of our poet laureat mould not be overlooked, 
 
 * which (hews the opinion he entertains of your pa- 
 
 * per, whether the notion he proceeds upon be true 
 ' or falfe. I make bold to convey it to you, not 
 ' knowing if it has yet come to your hands. 
 
 On the Spectator. 
 By Mr. TATE. 
 
 Aliufque et idem 
 
 Nafceris <■ Hor. Cann. Saec. v. 10. 
 
 You rife another and the fame. 
 
 WHEN fir fl the Tatler to a mute was fura'df 
 Great Britain for her cen/br's filence mourn' 'di 
 Robbed of his fprightly beams, (he wept the. night, 
 'Till the Spectator rofe, and b'laz'd as bright. 
 So the firft man the fun'' 's firft fetting view'd, 
 Andfigh'd, 'till circling day. his joys renew' d ; 
 
K° 489, THE SPECTATOR. 67 
 
 Yet doubtful hota tbatfecondfkn to name, 
 
 Whether a bright fuccc for, or the fame. 
 
 So we : but now from this fit f pence are freed, ~} 
 
 Since all agree, who but with judgment ready v 
 
 y Tis the fame fun, and does himfelffucceed* y 
 
 O 
 
 N° 489. Saturday, Septanber 20. 
 
 BrtGufpwTao [tiyx <=&£>"&-• 'LlKSctmo. Horn. 
 
 The mighty force of ocean'' s troubled flood* 
 
 SIR, 
 
 UPON reading your effay concerning the pleafures 
 of the imagination, I find among the three 
 fources of thofe pleafures which you have dis- 
 covered, that Greatnefs is one. This has fuggefted 
 to me the reafbni why, of all objects that I have ever 
 feen, there is none which affe&s my imagination fo 
 much as the fea or ocean. I cannot fee the heavings 
 of this prodigious bulk of waters, even in a calm, with- 
 out a very pleafing afr.onifh.ment ; but when it is work- 
 ed up in a tempeft, fo that the horizon on every fide is 
 nothing but foaming billows and floating mountains, 
 it is impoflible to defcribe the agreeable horror thatrifes 
 from fuch a profpecl. A-troubled ocean, to a maa 
 who fails upon it, is, I think, the biggeft object that 
 he can fee in motion, and consequently gives his ima- 
 gination one of the higheft kinds of pleafure that can 
 arife from greatnefs. I muft confefs, it is impoflible 
 for me to furvey this world of fluid matter, without 
 thinking on the hand that firft poured it out, and made 
 a proper channel for its reception. Such an object na- 
 turally raifes in my thoughts the idea of an almighty 
 Being, and convinces me of his exiftenceas much as 3. 
 metaphyfical demonftration. The imagination prompts 
 the understanding, and, by the greatnefs of the fen- 
 fible object, produces in it the idea of a being who is 
 neither circumfcribcd by time, nor fpace, 
 
 AS 
 
6B THE SPECTATOR. ^489. 
 
 AS I have made feveral voyages upon the Tea, I have 
 often been tofled in ftorms, and on that occafion have 
 frequently reflected on the defcriptions of them in an- 
 tient poets. I remember Longinns highly recommends 
 one in Homer, becaufe the poet has not amufed him- 
 feif with little fancies upon the occalion, as authors of 
 an inferior genius, whom he mentions, had done, but 
 becaufe he has gathered together thole circumftanccs 
 which are the moll apt to terrify the imagination, and 
 which really happen in the raging of a temped. It is 
 for the fame reafon, that I prefer the following de- 
 fcription of a (hip in a ftorm, which the Pfalmill has 
 made, before any other I have ever met with. They 
 that go down to the fea in flips, that do bufinefs in great 
 waters : thefe fee the works of the Lord, and his won- 
 ders in the deep. For he commandeth and raifeth the 
 jlormy winds, which lifteth up the waters thereof: they 
 mount up to the heavens, they go down again to the depths, 
 their foul is melted becaufe of trouble. They reel to and 
 fro, and Jl agger like a drunken man, and are at their 
 wits end. Then they cry unto the Lord in their trouble, 
 an i he bfingeth them out of their diflreJTes. He mukelh 
 the form a calm, fo thai the wave thereof are ft ill. 
 Then they are glad, becaufe they be quiet, fo he bringeib 
 them unto their def red haven. 
 
 BY the way, how much more comfortable as well 
 as rational, is this fyftcm of the Pfalmift, than the Pa- 
 gan fcheme in Virgil, and other poets, where one de- 
 ity is reprefented as railing a dorm, and another as 
 laying it? Were we only to conlider the fublime in 
 this piece of poetry, what can be nobler than the idea 
 it gives us of the fupreme Being thus railing a tumult 
 among the elements, and recovering them out of their 
 confufion, thus troubling and becalming nature ? 
 
 GREAT painters do not only give us landfkips of 
 gardens, groves, and meadows, but very often employ 
 their pencils upon fea-pieces : I could wifh you would 
 follow their example. If this fmall iketch may deferve 
 a place among your works, I fliall accompany it with 
 a divine ode, made by a gentleman upon the conclu- 
 iion of his travels. 
 
 i. HOir 
 
N°489. THE SPECTATOR. 6$ 
 
 I. 
 
 'OJV are thy fervants blefl, Lord.' 
 How fire is their defence ! 
 Eternal wifdom is their guide, 
 Their help, omnipotence. 
 
 II. 
 
 In foreign realms and lands remote, 
 
 Supported by thy care, 
 Through burning climes I pafs\l unhurt, 
 
 Ana breath \d in tainted air. 
 III. 
 Tin ''mercy fweel en\i ev'ry foil. 
 
 Made ev'ry region pleafe : 
 The hoary Alpine hills it warm'd, 
 
 And /mooted the Tyrrhene feas. 
 IV. 
 Think, my foul, devoutly think, 
 
 How with affrighted eyes, 
 Thou faw\ft the wide extended deep 
 
 In all its horrors rife ! 
 V. 
 Confufion dwelt in ev'ry face, 
 
 And fear in ev'ry heart ; 
 When waves on waves, and gulphs on gulphs, 
 
 O'ercame the pilot' s art . 
 VI. 
 Yet then from all my griefs, Lord, 
 
 Thy mercy fet me free^ 
 Whilfl in the confidence of prafr 
 
 My foul took hold on thee. 
 VII. 
 For thai' in dreadful whirls we hung 
 
 High on the broken wave, 
 I knew thou' wert not flow to hear, 
 
 Nor impotent to five. 
 VIII. 
 The florin was laid, the winds retir'd, 
 
 Obedient to thy will ; 
 The fea that roar'd at thy command, 
 
 At thy command was flill. 
 
 IX. In 
 
jo THE SPECTATOR. N<> 490. 
 
 IX. 
 
 In midft of dangers, fears , and death, 
 
 Thy goodnefs 1 7/ adore, 
 And pra'ife thee for thy mercies paj}, 
 
 And humbly hope fr more. 
 X. 
 JMy life, if thou preferv'Jl my life, 
 
 Thy facrifice Jhail he ; 
 And death, if death muji he my dosnn, 
 
 Shall join my foul to thee, 
 
 N°490. Monday, September 22. 
 
 Domus et placens uxor. Hor. Od. 14. I. 2. v. 21. 
 Thy hotife and pleafing vjife. Creech. 
 
 I HAVE very long entertained an ambition to make 
 the' word wife the mod agreeable and delightful 
 name in nature. If it be not fo in itfelf, all the 
 wifer part of mankind from the beginning of the world 
 to this day has confented in an error : but our unhap- 
 pinefs in England has been, that a few loofe men of 
 genius for pleafure, have turned it all to the gratifica- 
 tion of ungoverned deiires, in fpite of good fenfe, 
 form, and order ; when, in truth, any fatisfaclion 
 beyond the boundaries of reafon, is but a ftep towards 
 madnefs and folly. But is the fenfe of joy and accom- 
 plilhment of defhe no way to be indulged or attained ? 
 and have we appetites given us not to be at all grati- 
 fied ? Yes certainly : marriage is an inftitution calcu- 
 lited for a conftant fcene of as much delight as our be- 
 ing is capable of. Two perfons who have chofcn 
 each other out of all the fpecies, with defign to be 
 each other's mutual comfort and entertainment, have 
 in that action bound themfelves to be good-humoured, 
 affable, difcreet, forgiving, patient, and joyful, with 
 refpecl to each other's frailties and perfections, to the 
 end of their lives. The wifer of the two (and it al- 
 ways happens one of them is fuch) will, for her or his 
 
 own 
 
NO 490. THE SPECTATOR. 7r 
 
 own fake, keep things from outrage with the utmoft 
 fanctity. When this union is thus preferved,as I have 
 often faid, the molt indifferent cjrcumftance admini- 
 fters delight. Their condition is an endlcis fource of 
 new gratifications. The married man can fay, if I 
 am unacceptable to all the world beiide, there is one 
 whom I intirely love, that will receive me with joy 
 and tranfport, and think herfelf obliged to double her 
 kindnefs and careffes of me from the gloom with which 
 Ihe fees me overcaft. I need not diflemble the forrow 
 ! of my heart to be agreeable there, that very forrow 
 quickens her affection. 
 
 THIS paflion towards each other, when once well 
 fixed, enters into the very conftitution, and the kind- 
 nefs flows as eafilyand filently as the Wood in the veins. 
 When this affection is enjoyed in the mod fublime de- 
 gree, unfkilfnl eyes lee nothing of it ; but when it is 
 fubject to be changed, and has an allay in it that may 
 make it end in diftafie, it is apt to break into rage, or 
 overflow into fondnefs, before the reft of the world. 
 
 UXANDER and Viramira are amorous and young, 
 and have been married thefe two years ; yet do they 
 fo much diftinguifh each other in company, that in 
 your converfation with the dear things you are ftill 
 put to a fort of crofs-purpofes. Whenever you ad- 
 drefs yourfelf in ordinary difcourfe to Viramira, lhe 
 turns head another way, and the anfwer is made to the 
 dear Uxander : if ycu tell a merry tale, the applicati- 
 on is (Ell directed to her dear ; and when fne fliould 
 commend you, ihe fays to him, as If he had fpoke it, 
 
 That is, my dear, fo pretty This puts me in mind 
 
 of what I have fomewhereread in the admired memoirs 
 of the famous Cervantes, where, while honeft Sancho 
 Panca is putting fome neceffary humble queftion con- 
 cerning Rozinante, his fupper, or his lodgings, the 
 knight of the forrowful countenance is ever improving 
 the harnilefs lowly hints of his fquire to the poetical 
 conceit, rapture, and flight, in contemplation of the 
 dear Dulcineaof his affections. 
 
 ON the other fide, Dictamnus and Moria are ever 
 fquabbling, and you may obferve them all the time they 
 are in company, in a ftate of impatience. As Uxander 
 
 and 
 
THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 490, 
 
 and Viramira wi(h 5 ? ou all gone, that they may be at 
 freedom for dalliance; Dictaninus and Moria wait your 
 abfence that they may fpeak their harfli interpretations 
 on each other's words and actions during the time you 
 were with them. 
 
 I T is certain that the greater part of the evils at- 
 tending this condition of life, arifes from fafhion. Pre- 
 judice in this cafe is turned the wrong way, and inftcad 
 of expecting more happinefs than we fhall meet with 
 in it, -we are laughed into a prepolfeflion, that we (hall 
 be difappolnted if we hope for lading fatisfacYions. 
 
 "W I T H all perfons who have made good fenfe the 
 rule of action, marriage is defcribed as the (late cap- 
 able of the higheit human felicity. Tnlly has epiftles 
 full ol affe*cTaonate pleafure, when he writes to his wife, 
 or fpeaks of his children. But above all the hints of 
 this kind I have met with in writers of antient date, I 
 am pleafed with an epigram of Martial, in honour of 
 the beauty of his wife Cleopatra. Commentators fay 
 it was written the day alter his wedding-night. When 
 his fpoufe was retired to the bathing-room in the heat 
 of the day, he, it feems, came in upon her when /he 
 was juft going into the water. To her beauty and 
 carriage on this occafion we owe the following epi- 
 gram, which I (hewed my friend Will Honeycomb 
 in French, who has tranflated it as follows, without 
 underiranding the original. I expect it will pleafe 
 the Englifh better than the Latin reader. 
 
 When my bright con forty now nor wife nor maid, 
 
 Afhamd and wanton, of embrace afraid. 
 
 Fled to the flreams, the ftr earns my fair betrayed ; 
 
 To my fond eyes fie all tr anf parent flood. 
 
 She blti/h'd, Ifmil'dat the flight covering flood. 
 
 Thus thro' the glafs the lovely lily glows, 
 
 Thus thro'' the ambient gem fines forth the rofe. 
 
 If aw new charm 1 ;, ana {plung 'd to feize my flore y 
 
 Kijfes I f natch' d, the waves prevented more. 
 
 MY friend would not allowthatthislufciousaccount 
 could be given of a wife, and therefore ufed the word 
 t'(?«/c/;-/;whichhelearnedlyfaidwouldferveforamifi:refs 
 
K° 49c?. THE SPECTATOR. 73 
 
 as well, and give a more gentlemanly turn to the epi- 
 gram. But, under favour of him, and all other fuch 
 fine gentlemen, I cannot be perfuaded but that the 
 pafTion abridegroom has for a virtuous young woman, 
 will, by little and little, grow into friendihip, and 
 then it is afcended to a higher pleafure than it was in 
 its fir ft fervour. Without this happens, he is a very 
 unfortunate man who has entered into this ftate, and 
 left the habitudes of life he might have enjoyed with 
 a faithful friend. But when the wife proves capable of 
 filling ferious as well as joyous hours, ihe brings hap- 
 pinefs unknown to friendihip itfelf. Spenfer fpeaks 
 of each kind of love with great juftice, and attributes 
 the higheft praife to friendship ; and indeed there is no 
 disputing that point, but by making that Iriendfliip 
 take place between two married perfons. 
 
 Hard is the doubt, and difficult to deem. 
 When all three kinds of love together meet, 
 And do difpdrt the heart with power extreme, 
 Whether Jhall weigh the balance down ,• to wit, 
 The dear affection unto kindred fweet, 
 Or raging fire of love to womankind, 
 Or zeal of friends combin'd by virtues meet : 
 But, of them all, the band of virtuous mind 
 Me thinks the gentle heart Jbould mofl affured bind. 
 
 - For natural affection foon doth ceafe, 
 
 And quenched is with Cupid y s greater flame ; 
 But faithful friend/hip doth them both fuppreh, 
 And them with majlering difcipline doth tame, 
 Through thoughts afpiring to eternal fame. 
 For as the foul doth rule this earthly mafs, 
 And all the fervice of the body frame ; 
 So love of foul doth love of body pafs, 
 
 No lefs than perfect gold furmounts the meaneft brafs. 
 
 T 
 
 VOL. VII. D Tuefdavs 
 
74 THE SPECTATOR. ~N°^l, 
 
 N°49i. Tuefday % September 23. 
 
 — Dlgna fails fortuna revi fit. Virg. JEn. 3. v. 318. 
 A j uft reverft of for tune on htm waits. 
 
 IT is common with me to run from book to book to 
 e'xerciie my mind with many obje&s, and qualify 
 myfelf for my daily labours. After an hour fpent 
 in this loitering way of reading, fomething will remain 
 to be food to the imagination. The writings that pleafe 
 me moll on fuch occallons are (lories, for the truth of 
 whida there is good authority. The mind of man is 
 naturally a lover of juftice, and when we read a (lory 
 wherein a criminal is overtaken, in whom there is no 
 quality which is the object of pity, the foul enjoys a 
 certain revenge for the offence done to its nature, in 
 the wicked actions committed in the preceding part 
 of the hiftory. This will be better underftood by the 
 reader from the following narration itfelf, than "from 
 any thing which I can fay to introduce it. 
 
 "HEN Charles duke of Burgundy, firnamed The 
 Bold, reigned over fpacious dominions now 
 (wallowed up by the power of France, he heaped 
 many favours and honours upon Claudius Rhynfauit, 
 a German, who had ferved him in his wars againft the 
 Infults of his neighbours. A great part of Zealand was 
 at that time in fubjecKon to that dukedom. The prince 
 himfeif was a perfon of lingular humanity and juftice. 
 Rhynfauit, with no other real quality than courage, 
 had diflimulation enough to pafs upon his generous and 
 unfufpicious mafter fox a perfon of blunt ho nefty and 
 fidelity, without any vice that could bias him from the 
 execution of juftice. His highnefs prepolfefTed to 
 his advantage, upon the deceafe of the governor of his 
 chief town of Zealand, gave Rhynfauit that command. 
 He was not long feated in that government, before he 
 call his eyes upon Sapphira, a woman of exquifite beau- 
 tv, the wife of Paul Danvelt, a wealthy merchant of 
 
 the 
 
N° 491. THE SPECTATO R. 7* 
 
 the city under his protection and government. Rhyn-» 
 fault was a man of a warm conititution. and violent 
 inclination to women, and not unikilled in the foft 
 arts which win their favour. He knew what it was to 
 enjoy the fatisfactions which are reaped from the pof- 
 feilion of beauty, but was an utter ftranger to the de- 
 cencies, honours, and delicacies, that attend the paf- 
 fi on towards them in elegant minds. However he had 
 fo much of the world, that he had a great fliare of the 
 language which ufually prevails upon the weaker part 
 of that fex, and he could with his tongue utter a pafiioii 
 with which his heart was wholly untouched. He was 
 one of thofe brutal minds which can be gratified with 
 the violation of innocence and beauty without the lead 
 pity, paffion, or love to that with which they are £0 
 much delighted. Ingratitude is a vice inieparable to 
 aluftful man ; and the poiTefnon ofawoman byhimwho 
 has no thought but allaying a paifion painful to him- 
 fclf, is neceifarily followed by di'lafte and averfion. 
 Rhynfault being refolvedto accomplish his will on the 
 wife of Danvelt, left no arts untried to get into a fa- 
 miliarity at her houfe ; but (lie knew his character and 
 difpofition too well, not to fiiun all occafions that 
 might infnare her into his converfation. The gover- 
 nor defpairing of fuccefs by ordinary means, appre- 
 hended and imprifoned her hufband, under pretence 
 of an information that he was guilty of a correfpond- 
 er.ee with the enemies of the duke to betray the town 
 into their poileflion. This defign had its defired effect ; 
 and the wife of the unfortunate Danvelt, the day be- 
 fore that which was appointed for his execution, pre- 
 ferred herfelf in the hall of the governor's houfe, and 
 as he pa!fed thro' the apartment, threw herfelf at his 
 fect,andhcldinghisknees,befeeched hismercy. Rhyn- 
 fault beheld her with a diifembled fatisfaclion, and af- 
 fuming an air of thought and authority, he bid her arife, 
 and told her fhe mud follow him to his clofet ; and 
 afkirig her whether fhe knew the hand of the letter he 
 pulled out of his pocket, went from her, leaving this 
 admonition alond, If you will fave your husband, you 
 run ft give ms an account of all you know without prevari- 
 cation j for every body is fatisfied he was too fond of you 
 
 b 2 to 
 
76 THE SPECTATOR, N° 491. 
 
 to be able to hide from you the names of the reft ?f the con- 
 fpiraiors, or any other particulars whaljoever. He went 
 to his clofet, and foon after the lady was fent for to an 
 audience. The fervant knew his didance when mat- 
 ters of date were to be debated ; and the governor lay- 
 ing afide the air with which he had appeared in public, 
 began to be the fnpplicant, to rally an affliction, which 
 it was in her power eafily to remove, and relieve an in- 
 nocent man from his imprifonment. She eafily perceiv- 
 ed his intention, and, bathed in tears, began to depre- 
 cate fo wicked a defign. Lull, like ambition, takes all 
 the faculties of the mind and body into its fervice and 
 kibjection. Her becoming tears, her honed anguiih, 
 the wringing of her hands, and the many changes of 
 her podure and figure in the vehemence of fpeaking, 
 were but fo many attitudes in which he beheld her beau- 
 ty, and farther incentives of his defire. All humanity 
 was lod in that one appetite, and he fignified to her in 
 fo many plain terms, that he was unhappy till he had 
 poflefTed her, and nothing leFs fhould be the price of 
 her hufband's life ; and fhe mud, before the following 
 noon, pronounce the death or enlargement of Danvelt. 
 After this notification, when he faw Sapphira enough 
 again diffracted to make the fubject of their difcourfe to 
 common eyes appear different from what it was, he cal- 
 led fervants to conduct her to the gate. Loaded with 
 infupportable affliction, fhe immediately repairs to her 
 hufband, and having fignified to his goalers, that fhe 
 had a propofal to make to her hufband from the gover- 
 nor, fhe was left alone with him, revealed to him all 
 that had paffed, and repre Tented the endlefs conflict fhe 
 was in between love to his perfon, and fidelity to his 
 bed. It is eafy to imagine the fharp affliction this honed 
 pair was in upon fuch an incident, in lives not ufed 
 to any but ordinary occurrences. The man was brid- 
 led by fhame from fpeaking what his fear prompted, 
 upon fo near an approach of death ; but let fall words 
 that fignified to her, he fhould not think her polluted, 
 though fiie had not yet confelfcd to him that the gover- 
 nor had violated her perfon, lince he knew her will 
 had no part in the action. She parted from him with 
 
 this 
 
N0 49 1 - THE SPECTATOR. 77 
 
 this oblique permiffion to fave a life he had not refolu- 
 tion enough to refign for the fafety of his honour. 
 
 THE next morning the unhappy Sapphira attended 
 the governor, and being led into a remote apartment, 
 fubmitted to his defires. Rhynfault commended her 
 charms, claimed a familiarity after what had paffed be- 
 tween them, and with an air of gaiety, in the language 
 of a gallant, bid her return, and take her hufband out 
 of prifon : but, continued he, my fair one mud not be 
 offended that I have taken care he fhould not be an in- 
 terruption to our future affignations. Thefelalt words 
 foreboded what (he found when fhe came to the goal, 
 her huiband executed by the order of Rhynfault. 
 
 I T was remarkable that' the woman, who was full 
 of tears and lamentations during the whole courfe or 
 her affliction, uttered neither figh nor complaint, but 
 ftood fixed with grief at this confummation of her mil- 
 fortunes. She betook herfelf to her abode, and after 
 having in folitude paid her devotions to him who is the 
 avenger of innocence, fhe repaired privately to court. 
 Her perfon, and a certain grandeur of forrow negli- 
 gent of forms, gained her paffageintotheprefenceof the 
 duke her fovereign. As fcon as fhe came into the pre- 
 fence, fhe broke forth into the following words, Behold, 
 mighty Charles, a wretch weary of life, tho' it has al- 
 ways beenfpent with innocence and virtue. It is not in your 
 power to redrefs my injuries, but it is to avenge then'. 
 And if the protection of the diflreffed,and thepunifhment 
 ofopprefors, is a tajk worthy a prince, I bring the duke 
 of Burgundy ample matter for doing honour to his own 
 great name, and wiping infamy of of mine, 
 
 WHEN fhe had fpoke this, fhe delivered the duke a 
 paper reciting herftory. He read it with all the emo- 
 tions that indignation and pity could raife in a prince 
 jealous of his honour in the behaviour of his officers, 
 and profperity of his fubjects. 
 
 UPON an appointed day, Rhynfault was feat for to 
 court, and in the prefence of a few of the council, con- 
 fronted by Sapphira : the prince afking, Do you know 
 that lady? Rhynfault, as foon as he could recover his 
 furprife, told the duke he would marry her, if his 
 highnefs would pleafe to think that a reparation. The 
 D 3 duke 
 
78 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 NO 49: 
 
 duke Teemed contented with this anfwer, and flood by 
 during the immediate folemnization of the ceremony. 
 At the concluflon of it he told Rhynfault, Thus far you 
 have done as conftrained by my authority : I fall not be 
 fatisfied of your kind ufage of her, without you fign a 
 gift of your ivhole eft ate to her after your deceafe. To 
 the performance of this alio the duke was a witnefs, 
 "When thefb two acts were executed, the duke turned 
 to the lady, and told her, it now remains for me to 
 put you in quiet poffeffionof what your hufband has fo 
 bountifully befrowed on you ; and ordered the imme- 
 diate execution of Rhynfault. T 
 
 492. 
 
 N° 
 
 Wedncfday, September 24. 
 
 Qui c quid eft boni maris levitate extingArht'r. Seneca. 
 
 Levity of behaviour is the bane of all that is good and 
 virtuous. 
 
 Dear Mr.. Spectator, Tu abridge, Sept. 18. 
 
 I A M a young woman of eighteen years of age, and 
 I do allure you, a maid of unfpotted reputation, 
 founded upon a very careful carriage in all 
 my looks, words, and actions. At the fame time 
 I muft own to you, that it is with much conftraint 
 to flefh and blood that my behaviour is fo ftrictly ir- 
 reproachable ; for I am naturally addicted to mirth, 
 to gaiety, to a free air, to motion, and gadding. 
 Now what gives me a great deal of anxiety, and is 
 fome difcouragement in the purfuit of virtue, is, that 
 the young women who run into greater freedoms 
 with the men are more taken notice of than I am. 
 The men are fuch unthinking lots, that they do not 
 prefer her who reftrains all her paffions and affecti- 
 ons, and keeps much within the bounds of what is 
 lawful, to her who goes to the utmoft verge of in- 
 nocence, and parlies at the very brink of vice, whe- 
 ther fhe fhall be a wife or a miftrefs. But I muft ap- 
 peal to yourfpectalorial wifdom, who, I find, have 
 pa/Ted very much of your time in the ftudy of wo- 
 
 ' man, 
 
K°492- THE SPECTATOR. 79 
 
 man, whether this is not a mod unreasonable pro- 
 ceeding. I have read fomewhere, that Hobbes of Mal- 
 mefbury afferts, that continent perfons have more of 
 what they contain, than thofe who give a loofe to 
 their defires. According to this rule, let there be 
 equal age, equal wit, and equal goo'd-humonr, in the 
 woman of prudence, and her of liberty ; what ftores has 
 he to expect, who takes the former ? What refufe 
 mu ft he be contented with, who choofes the latter ? 
 Well, but I fat down to write to you to vent my in- 
 dignation againft feveral pert creatures who are ad- 
 dreiled to and courted in this place, while poor I, 
 and two or three like me, are wholly unregarded. 
 ' EVERY one of thefe arfedt gaining the hearts of 
 your fex : this is generally attempted by a particular 
 manner of carrying themfelves with familiarity. 
 Clycera has a dancing walk, and keeps time in her 
 ordinary gate. Chloe, her filler, who is unwilling 
 to interrupt her conquefls, comes into the room be- 
 fore her with a familiar run. Dulciifa takes ad- 
 vantage of the approach of the winter, and has in- 
 troduced a very pretty Oliver ; doling up her (houij- 
 ers, and ilirinking as (he moves. All that are in this 
 mode carry their fans between both bunds before 
 them. DulcifTa herfelf, who is author of this far, 
 adds the pretty run to it ; and has alfo, when (he is 
 in very good humour, a taking familiarity in throw- 
 ing herfelf into the lowed feat in the room, and let- 
 ting her hooped petticoats fall with a lucky decency 
 about her. I know (lie praclifes this way of fitting 
 down in her chamber ; and indeed (lie does it as well 
 as you may have feen an aclrefs fall down dead 
 in a tragedy. Not the leaft indecency in her pofture. 
 If you have obferved what pretty carcafes are carried 
 off at the end of a verfe at the theatre, ir will give 
 you a notion how DulcifTa plumps into a chair. Here 
 is a little country girl that is very cunning, that 
 makes her ufe of being young and unbred, and out- 
 does the infnarers who are almoft twice her age. 
 The air that me takes is to come into company after 
 a walk, and is very, fuccefsfully out of breath upon 
 - occalioa. H&fmother is in the fecret, and calls her 
 D 4 ' romp, 
 
8o 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 NO 492. 
 
 romp, and then looks round to fee what young men 
 ftare at her. 
 
 'IT would take up more than can come into one of 
 your papers, to enumerate all the particular airs of 
 the younger company in this place. But I cannot o- 
 mit Dulceorella, whofe manner is the moft indolent 
 imaginable, but Hill as watchful of conqueft as the 
 bufieft virgin among us. She has a peculiar art of flar- 
 ing at a young fellow, till (lie fees fhe has got him, 
 and inflamed him by fo much obfervation. When fhe 
 fees fhe has him, and he begins to tofs his head upon 
 it, fhe is immediately fhort-fighted, and labours to 
 obferve what he is at a diftance with her eyes half 
 fhut. Thus the captive, that thought her firft flruck, 
 is to make very near approaches, or be wholly dif- 
 regarded. This artifice has done more execution than 
 all the ogling of the reft of the women here, with the 
 ut moft variety of half glances, at ten tiveheedlefTneiles, 
 childifh inadvertencies, haughtv contempts, or artifi- 
 cial overhghts. After I have laid thus much of ladies 
 among us who fight thus regularly, I am to complain 
 to you of a fet of familiar romps, who have broken 
 thro' all common rules, and have thought of a very 
 efFeclual wayoffhewing more charms than all of us. 
 Theie, Mr. Spectator, are the fwingers. You are 
 to know thefe careiefs pretty creatures are very in- 
 nocents again ; and it is to be no matter what they 
 do, for it is all harmlefs freedom. They get on ropes, 
 as you mil ft have feen the children, and are fwung 
 by their men vilitants. Thejeftis, that Mr. Such- 
 a-one, can name the colour of Mrs. Such-a-one f s 
 ftockings ; and fhe tells him, he is a lying thief, fo 
 he is, and full of roguery; and fhe will lay a wager, 
 and her lifter fhall tell the truth if he fays right, and 
 he cannot tell what colour her garters are of. In this 
 diverfion there are very many pretty fhrieks, not fo 
 much for fear of falling, as that their petticoats 
 fhould untye : for there is a great care had to avoid 
 improprieties ; and the lover who fwings the lady, 
 is to tye her clothes very clofe with his hatband, 
 i before fhe admits him to throw up her heels. 
 ' s N^GWj Mr. Spectator, except yon can note 
 
 * theft 
 
No 493- THE SPECTATOR. 81 
 
 thefe wantonneffes in their beginnings, and bring us 
 fober girls into obfervation, there is no help for it, 
 we mult fwim with the tide; the coquettes are too 
 powerful a party for us. To look into the merit of a 
 regular and well-behaved woman, is a flow thing. 
 A lbofe trivial fong gains the affections, when a wife 
 homily is not attended to. There is no other way 
 but to make war upon them, or we muft go over to 
 them. As for my part, I will fliew all the world it is 
 not for wanrof charms that I (land fo long unafked ; 
 and if you do not take meafures for the immediate 
 redrefs of us rigids,as the fellows call us, I can move 
 with a fpeaking mien, can look fignificantly, can 
 Jifp, can trip, can loll, can ftart, can blum, can rage, 
 can weep, if I muft do it, and can be frighted as a- 
 greeably as any fhe in England. All which is hum- 
 bly fubmitted to your fpedtatorial consideration with 
 ali humility, by 
 
 Tour mojl humble ferv ant, 
 
 Matilda Mohair. 
 
 493. Thurfday, September 25. 
 
 Qua fern commendes et'iam at que et'iam adfpice, ne mox 
 hicutiant aliena tibi peccata pudorem. 
 
 Hor. Ep. 18. L 1. v.76. 
 
 Commend not) ''till amanis throughly known t 
 
 A ■'•afcal prais'd, you make his faults your own. Anon. 
 
 T is nounpleafant matter of fpeculation to confide r 
 the recommendatory epiftles that pafs round this 
 _ town from hand to hand, and the abufe people put 
 upon one another in that kind. It is indeed come to 
 that pafs, that inftead of being the teftimony of merit 
 in the perfon recommended, the true reading of a let- 
 ter of this fort is, The bearer hereof is fo uneafy to me y 
 that it will be an aft of charity in you to take him off my 
 hands ; whether yon prefer him or not) it is all one, for 
 I hare no manner of kindnefs for him, or obligation to him 
 or his i and do what you pleafe as to that. As negligent 
 D 5 as 
 
82 THE SPECTATOR. NO493. 
 
 as men are in this refpecl, a point of honour is concern- 
 ed in it ; and there is nothing a man fhould be more 
 afhamedof, than paffing a worthlefs creature into the. 
 fervice or interefis of a man who has never injured 
 you. The women indeed are a little too keen in their 
 refentment?, to trefpafs often this way : but you (hall 
 fometimes know that the miftrefs and the maid (hall 
 quarrel, and give each other very free language, and 
 at laft the lady ihall be pacified to turn her out of doors, 
 and give her a very good word to any body elfe. Hence 
 it is that you fee,, in a year and half's time, the fame 
 face a domeftic in all parts of the town. Good-breed- 
 ing, and good-nature lead people, in a great meafure, 
 to this injufticc : when fuitors of no consideration will 
 have confidence enough to prefs upon their fuperiors, 
 thofe in power are tender of fpeaking the exceptions 
 they have againft them, and are mortgaged into pro- 
 mifes out of their impatience of importunity. In this 
 latter cafe^ it would be a very ufeful inquiry to know 
 the hiftory of recommendations : there are, you mull 
 know, certain abettors of this way of torment, who 
 make it a profeffion to manage the affairs of candidates: 
 thefe gentlemen let out their impudence to their clients, 
 and fupply any defective recommendation, by inform- 
 ing how fuch and fuch a man is to be attacked. They 
 will tell you, get the leaft fcrap from Mr. Snch-a-one, 
 and leave the reft to them. When one of thefe under- 
 takers have your buflnefs in hand, you may be fick, 
 abfent in town or country, and the patron fhall be 
 worried, cr you prevail. I remember to have been 
 fhewn a gentleman forae years ago, who punifhed a 
 whole people for their facility in giving their creden- 
 tials. This perfon had belonged to a regiment which 
 did duty in the Weft-Indies, and by the mortality of 
 the place happened to be commanding officer in the co- 
 lony. He opprefTed hisfubjects with great franknefs, 
 till he became fenfible that he was heartily hated by 
 every man under his command. When he had carried 
 his point, to be thus deteftable, in a pretended fit of 
 difhumour, and feigned uneafinefs of living where he 
 found he was fo univerfally unacceptable, he commu- 
 nicated to the chief inhabitants a defign he had to re- 
 turn 
 
No 493- T H E SPECTATO" R. 83 
 
 turn for England, provided they would give him ample 
 testimonials of their approbation. The planters came 
 into it to a man, and in proportion to his defervin.g 
 the quite contrary, the words jultice, generofity, and 
 courage, were inferted in his commiflion, not omitting 
 the general good-liking of people of all conditions in 
 the colony. The gentleman returns for England, and 
 within few months after came back to them their go- 
 vernor on the ftrength of their own telHmonials. 
 
 SUCH a rebuke as this cannot indeed happen to eafy 
 recommenders, in the ordinary courfe of things from 
 one hand to another ; but how would a man bear to 
 have it faid to him, the perfon I took into confidence 
 on the credit you gave him, has proved falfe, unjuft, 
 and has not anfwered any way the character you gave 
 me of him ? 
 
 I CANNOT but conceive very good hopes of that 
 rake Jack Toper of the Temple, for an honed: fcrnpu- 
 loufnefs in this point. A friend of his meeting with a 
 fervant that had formerly lived with Jack, and having 
 a mind to take him, fent to him to know "what faults 
 the fellow had, fince he could not pleaTe fuch a care- 
 lefs fellow as he was. His anfwer was as follows : 
 
 S J J?, 
 
 HO MAS that lived with me was turned away 
 becaufe he was too good for me. You know I 
 live in taverns ; he is an orderly fober rafcal, and 
 thinks much to deep in an entry till two in a morn- 
 ing. He told me one day when he was dreffing me, 
 that he wondered I was not dead before now, flnce 
 I went to dinner in the evening, and went to fupper 
 at two in the morning. We were coming down 
 EfTex-Street one night a little fluttered, and I wa?s 
 giving him the word to alarm the watch ; he had 
 the impudence to tell me it was againft the law. 
 You that are married, and live one day after another 
 the fame way, and fo on the whole week, I dare fay 
 will like him, and he will be glad to have his meat 
 in due feafon. The fellow is certainly very honed, 
 My fervice to your lady. Tours, J. T. 
 
 NOW 
 
84 THE SPECTATOR. N9 493. 
 
 N OW this was very fair dealing. Jack knew very 
 well, that tho' the love of order made a man very awk- 
 ward in his equipage, it was a valuable quality among 
 the queer people who live by rule ; and had too much 
 good fenfe and good-nature to let the fellow ftarve, 
 becaufe he was not fit to attend his vivacities. 
 
 I SHALL end this difcourfe with a letter of recom- 
 mendation from Horace to Claudius Nero. You will 
 fee in that letter a flownefs to afk a favour, a ftrong 
 reafon for being unable to deny his good word any 
 longer, and that it is a fervice to the perfon to whom 
 he recommends, to comply with what is afked : aM 
 which are necelfary circumftances, both in juftice and 
 good-breeding, if a man would aflc fo as to have rea- 
 fon to complain of a denial ; and indeed a man fliould 
 not in ftrictnefs aflc otherwife. In hopes the authority 
 of Horace, who perfectly underftood how to live with 
 great men, may have a good effect towards amending 
 this facility in people of condition, and the confidence 
 of thofe who apply to them without merit, I have 
 translated the epiftlc 
 
 To Claudius Nero. 
 
 SIR, 
 
 SEPTIMIUS, who waits upon you with this, is 
 very well acquainted with the place you are 
 pleated to allow me in your friendfhip. For when he 
 bcfeeches me to recommend him to your notice, in 
 fuch a manner as to be received by you, who are de- 
 licate in the choice of your friends and domeftics, he 
 knows our intimac}^, and underftands my ability 
 to fervehirn better than I do myfelf. I have defend- 
 ed myfelf again!! his ambition to be yours, as long 
 as I poflibly could ; but fearing the imputation of 
 hiding my power in you out of mean and felfifli con- 
 federations, I am at laft prevailed upon to give you 
 this trouble. Thus, to avoid the appearance of a 
 greater fault, I have put on this confidence. If you 
 can forgive this tranfgreffion of modefty in hehalf of 
 a friend, receive this gentleman into your interells 
 and friendihip, and take it from me that he is an ho- 
 ned: and a brave man, T 
 
N° 494. THE SPECTATOR. 8$ 
 
 N° 494. Friday, September 26. 
 
 JEgritudinem laudare, unam rem maxime deteftabileWf 
 quorum eft tandem ph'ilofophorwn ? Clc. 
 
 What kind of philofophy is it, to extol melancholy , 
 the mo ft deteftable thing in nature ? 
 
 ABOUT an age ago it was the fafliion in England, 
 for every one that would be thought religious, 
 to throw as much fanctity as poffible into his 
 face, and in particular to abftainfrom all appearances of 
 mirth and pleafantry, which were looked upon as the 
 marks of a carnal mind. The faint was of a forrowful 
 countenance, and generally eaten up with fpleen and 
 melancholy. A gentleman, who was lately a great or- 
 nament to the learned world, has diverted me more 
 than once with an account of the reception which he 
 met with from a very famous independent minifter, 
 who was head of a college in thofe times. This gen- 
 tleman was then a young adventurer in the republic of 
 letters, and juft fitted out for the univeriity with a good 
 cargo of Latin and Greek. His friends were refolved 
 that he ftiould try his fortune at an election which was 
 drawing near in the college, of which the independent 
 minifter whom I have before-mentioned was governor. 
 The youth, according to cuftom, waited on him in 
 order to be examined. He was received at the door 
 by a fervant, who was one of that gloomy generation 
 that were then in falhion. He conducted him, with 
 great iilence and ferioufnefs, to a long gallery which 
 was darkened at noon-day, and had only a fingle can- 
 dle burning in it. After a fhort ftay in this melancho- 
 ly apartment, he was led into a chamber hung with 
 black, where he entertained himfelf for fome time by 
 the glimmering of a taper, 'till at length the head of 
 the 'college came out to him, from an inner room, 
 with half a dozen night-caps upon his head, and reli- 
 gious horror in his countenance. The young man 
 trembled ; but his fears increafed, when, inftead of 
 
 being 
 
U THE SPECTATOR. N© 494. 
 
 being alked what progrefs he had made in learning, he 
 was examined how he abounded in grace. His Latin 
 and Greek flood him in little ftead ; he was to give an 
 account only of the flate of his foul, whether he was 
 of the number of the elect ; what was the occafion of 
 his conversion ; upon what day of the month, and hour 
 of the day it happened ; how it was carried on, and 
 when completed. The whole examination was fum- 
 med up with one fhort queftion, namely, Whether he 
 •was prepared for death ? The boy, who had been bred 
 up by honeft parents, was frighted out of his wits at 
 the folemnity of the proceeding, and by the laft dread- 
 ful interrogatory ; fo that upon making his efcape out 
 of the houfe of mourning, he could never be brought 
 a fecond time to the examination, as not being able 
 to go through the terrors of it. 
 
 N OT WITHSTAN DING this general form and 
 outfide of religion is pretty well worn out among us, 
 there are many perfons, who, by a natural unchear- 
 fulnefs of heart, miftaken notions of piety, or weak- 
 nefs of understanding, love to indulge this uncomfort- 
 able way of life, and give up themfelves a prey to 
 grief and melancholy. Su per ftitious fears and ground- 
 lefs fcruples cut them off from the pleafures of conver- 
 fation, and all thofe focial entertainments, which are 
 not only innocent, but laudable ; as if mirth was 
 made for reprobates, and chearfulnefs of heart denied 
 thofe who are the only perfons that have a proper title 
 to it. 
 
 SOMBRIUS is one of thefe fons of forrow. He 
 thinks himfelf obliged in duty to be fad and difconfo- 
 late. He looks on a fudden fit of laughter as a breach 
 of his baptifmal vow. An innocent jeft ftartles him like 
 blafphemy. Tell him of one who is advanced to a title 
 of honour, he lifts up his hands and eyes ; defcribe a 
 public ceremony, he makes his head ; fhew him a gay 
 equipage, he blefles himfelf. All the little ornaments 
 of life are pomps and vanities. Mirth is wanton, 
 and wit profane. He is fcandalized at youth for be- 
 ing lively, and at childhood for being playful. He 
 fits at a chriftning, or a marriage-feaft, as at a fune- 
 ral; fighsat the conckiflon of a merry ftory, and grows 
 
 devout 
 
N° 494- THE SPECTATOR. 87 
 
 devout when the reft of the company grow pleafant. 
 After all, Sombrius is a religious man, and would have 
 behaved himfelfvery properly, had he lived vvhenchri- 
 ftianity was under a general perfecution. 
 
 I WOULD by no means prefume to tax fuch chara- 
 cters with hypocrify, as is done too frequently ; that be- 
 ing a vice which I think none but he, who knows the 
 fecrets of mens hearts, mould pretend to difcover in 
 another, where the proofs of it do not amount to a de- 
 monftration. On the contrary, as there are many excel- 
 lent perfons, who are weighed down by this habitual 
 forrow of heart, they rather deferve our compaffion 
 than our reproaches. I think ; however, they would do 
 well to conlider whether fuch a behaviour does not de- 
 ter men from a religious life, by reprefenting it as an 
 unfociable ftate, thatextinguifhes all joy and gladnefs, 
 darkens the face of nature, and deftroys the relifh of 
 being itfelf. 
 
 I HAVE, ia former papers, fhewn how great a ten- 
 dency there is to chearfulnefs in religion, and how fuch 
 a frame of mind is not only the moft lovely, but the 
 moft commendable in a virtuous perfon. In fhort, thofe 
 who reprefent religion in fo unamiablea light, are like 
 the fpies, fentby Mofes to make a difcovery of the land 
 of Promife, when by their reports they difcouraged 
 the people from entering upon it. Thofe who mew us 
 the joy, the chearfulnefs, the good-humour, that na- 
 turally fpring up in this happy ftate, are like the fpies 
 bringing along with them the clutters of grapes, and 
 delicious fruits, that might invite their companions in- 
 to the pleafant country which produced them. 
 
 AN eminent pag^n writer has made a difcourfe, to 
 fhew that the atheift, who denies a God, does him lefs 
 difnonour than the man who owns his being, but at the 
 fame time believes him to be cruel, hard to pleafe, and 
 terrible to human nature. For my own part, fays he, I 
 would rather it fhould be faid of me, that there was 
 never any fuch man as Plutarch, than that Plutarch 
 was ill-natured, capricious, or inhumane. 
 
 IF we may believe our logicians, man is diftinguifh- 
 ed from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter. 
 He has an heart capable of mirth ; and naturally difpof- 
 
 ed 
 
§8 THE SPECTATOR. No 49 y, 
 
 ed to it. It is not the bufinefs of virtue to extirpate the 
 affections of the mind, but to regulate them. It may 
 moderate and reftrain, but was not defigned to banifh 
 gladnefs from the heart of man. Religion contracts the 
 circle of our pleafures, but leaves it wide enough for 
 her votaries to expatiate in. The contemplation of the 
 divine being, and the exercife of virtue, are in their 
 own nature fo far from excluding all gladnefs of heart, 
 that they are perpetual fources of it. In a word, the 
 true fpirit of religion cheers, as well as compofes the 
 foul ; it banifhes indeed all levity of behaviour, all vi- 
 cious and diffolute mirth, but in exchange fills the mind 
 with a perpetual ferenity, uninterrupted chearfulnefs, 
 and an habitual inclination to pleafe others, as well as 
 to be pleafed in itfelf. O 
 
 N° 495. Saturday, September 27. 
 
 Duris ut ilex ton/a bipennibus 
 Nlgrae feraci frondis inAlgido, 
 Per damna, per caedes, ab ipfo 
 Duclt opes animumque ferro. 
 
 Hor. Od. 4. 1. 4. v. 57. 
 
 tike an oak onfome cold mountain brow, 
 
 Ji ev'ry wound they fprout and grow : 
 The ax and /word new vigour give, 
 
 And by their ruins they revive. Anon. 
 
 AS I am one, who, by my profeffion, am obliged to 
 look into all kinds of men, there are none whom 
 I confider with fo much pleafure, as thofe who 
 have any thing new or extraordinary in their characters, 
 or ways of living. For this reafon I have often amufed 
 myfelf with fpeculations on the race of people called 
 Ws, many of whom I have met with in molt ot the 
 confiderable towns which I have patted through in the 
 courfe of my travels. They are, indeed, fo diffeminat- 
 ed through all the trading parts of the world, that they 
 are become the inftruments by which the molt diltant 
 nations convcrfe with, one another, and by which man- 
 kind 
 
N°495- 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 kind are knit together in a general correfpondence : 
 they are like the pegs and nails in a great building, 
 which tho' they are but little valued in.themfelves, are 
 abfolutely neceilary to keep the whole frame together. 
 
 THAT I may not fall into any common beaten tracks 
 of obfervation, I ihall confider this people in three 
 views : Firft, with regard to their number ; Secondly, 
 their difperflon ; and, Thirdly, their adherence to their 
 religion: and afterwards endeavour to fhew,Firit, what 
 natural reafons,and,Secondl5'-,what providential reafons 
 may be affigned for thefe three remarkable particulars. 
 
 THE jews are looked upon by many to be as nu- 
 merous at prefent, as they were formerly in the land 
 of Canaan. 
 
 THIS is wonderful, confidering the dreadful {laugh- 
 ter made-of them under fome of the Roman emperors, 
 which . kiftorians defcribe by the death of many hun- 
 ■ dred thoufands in a war; and the innumerable mafia- 
 cies and perfecutions they have undergone in Turkey, 
 as well as in all chriftian nations of the world. The 
 Rabbins, to exprefs the great havoc which has been 
 fometimes made of them, tell us, after their ufual man- 
 ner of hyperbole, that there were fuch torrents of ho- 
 ly blood (lied as carried rocks of an hundred yards in 
 circumference above three miles into the fea. 
 
 THEIR difperlion is the fecond remarkable particu- 
 lar in this people. They fwarm over all the Sail;; and are 
 fettled in the remoteft parts of China: they are fpread 
 thro'moft of the nations of Europe and Afric, and many 
 families of them are eftablifhed in theWeft-Indies : no-t 
 to mention whole nations bordering onPrefter-John's 
 country, and fome difcovered in the inner parts of Ame- 
 rica, if we may give any credit to their own writers. 
 
 THEIR firm adherence to their religion is no lefs 
 remarkable than their numbers and difperfion, efpecial- 
 ly confidering it as perfecuted or contemned over the 
 face of the whole earth. This is likewife the more re- 
 markable, if we confider the frequent apoftafies of this 
 people, when they lived under their kings, in the land 
 of Promife, and within fight of their temple. 
 
 IF in the next place we examine, what may be the 
 natural reafons for thefe three particulars which we find 
 
 10. 
 
90 THE SPECTATOR. N° 49 £. 
 
 in the Jews, and which are not to be found in any other 
 religion or people, I can in the firft place, attribute their 
 numbers to nothing but their conftant employment, 
 their abllinence, their exemption from wars, and above 
 all, their frequent marriages ; for they look, on celiba- 
 cy as an accurled ftate,and generally are married before 
 twenty, as hoping the Meffiahmay defcend fiom them. 
 
 THE difperlion of the Jews into all the nations of 
 the earth, is the fecond remarkable particular of that 
 people, though not fo hard to be accounted for. They 
 were always in rebellions and tumults while they had 
 the temple and holy city in view, for which reafon 
 they have often been driven out of their old habitati- 
 ons in the land of Promife. They have as often been 
 baniftied out of moft other places where they have fet- 
 tled, which mud: very much difperfe and fcatter a peo- 
 ple, and oblige them to feek a livelihood where they 
 can find it. Befides, the whole people is now a race of 
 fuch merchants as are wanderers by profeffion, and, at 
 the fame time, are in moft, if not all, places incapable 
 of either lands or offices, that might engage them to 
 make any part of the world their home. 
 
 THIS difperlion would probably have loft their re- 
 ligion, had it not been fecured by the flrength of its 
 constitution : for they are to live all in a body, and ge- 
 nerally within the fame inclofure; to marry among 
 themfelves, and to eat no meats that are not killed or 
 prepared their own way. This (huts them out from 
 all table-converfation, and the moft agreeable inter- 
 courfes of life; and, by confequence, excludes them 
 from the moft probable means of conversion. 
 
 IF, in the laft place, we confider what providential 
 reafon may be afligned for thefe three particulars, we 
 fhall find that their numbers, difperfion, and adherence 
 to their religion, have fumifhed every age, and every 
 nation of the world, with the ftrongeft arguments for 
 the chriftian faith, not only as thefe very particulars 
 are foretold of them, but as they themfelves are the de- 
 pofitaries of thefe and all the other prophefies, which 
 tend to their own confufion. Their number furnifhes 
 us with a fufficient cloud of witnefFes that atteft the 
 truth of the old bible. Their difperfion fpreads thefe 
 
 witneifes 
 
N° 496. THE SPECTATOR. 91 
 
 witneffes through all parts of the world. The adhe- 
 rence to their religion makes their teltimony unquesti- 
 onable. Had the whole body of the jews been convert- 
 ed to chriiiianity, we ihould certainly have thought all 
 the prophefies of the old teitament, that relate to the 
 coming snd hiftory of our BleiTed Saviour, forged 
 by chriftians, and have looked upon them, with the 
 prophefies of the Sibyls, as made many years after the 
 j events they pretended to fortel. O 
 
 N° 496. Monday, September 29. 
 
 Gv.atum parlier uti his decuit, ant etiam ampliitt , 
 Quod ilia act as magis ad haec utenna 1 done a eft. 
 
 Terent. Heaut. Act. 1. Sc. 1. 
 
 DI\ foil ought to have fhared in thefe things equally , or 
 rather more ; as being of an age fitter to relijh fitch 
 engagements, 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 ^HO S E ancients who were the molt accurate 
 in their remarks on the genius and temper of 
 mankind, by confidering the various bent and 
 fcope of our actions throughout the progrefs of life, 
 have with-great exactnefs allotted inclinations and ob- 
 jects of delire particular to every irage, according to- 
 the different circumitances of our conversation and 
 fortune, thro' the feveral periods of it. Hence they 
 were difpofed eafily to excufe thofe excefTes which 
 might poflibly arife from a too eager purfuit of the af- 
 fections more immediately proper to each ftate : they 
 indulged the levity of childhood with tendernefs, o- 
 verlooked the gaiety of youth with good-nature, tem- 
 pered the forward ambition and impatience of ripened 
 manhood with difcretion, and kindly imputed the te- 
 nacious avarice of old men to their want of relifh for 
 any other enjoyment. Such allowances as thefe were 
 no lefs advantageous to common fociety than oblig- 
 ing to particular perfons ; for by maintaining a de- 
 cency and regularity in the courfe of life, they fup- 
 
 e ' ported 
 
92 THE SPECTATOR. NO496. 
 
 ' ported the dignity of human nature, which then fuf- 
 ' fers the greateft violence when the order of things is 
 ' inverted ; and in nothing is it more remarkably vili- 
 ' fled and ridiculous, than when feeblenefs prepofter- 
 ' oufly attempts to adorn itfelf with that outward pomp 
 ' and luftre, which ferve only to fet off the bloom of 
 ' youth with better advantage. I was infenfibly carried 
 1 into reflexions of this nature, byjuftnow meeting 
 
 * Paulino (who is in his climacteric) bedecked with the 
 1 ntmoft fplendor of drefs and equipage, and giving an 
 1 unbounded loofe to all manner of pleafure, whilft his 
 1 only fon is debarred all innocent diverfion, and may 
 ' be feen frequently folacing himfelf in the Mall with 
 
 * no other attendance than one antiquated fervant of 
 ' his father's for a companion and director. 
 
 ' IT is a monftrous want of reflexion, that a man 
 ' cannot confider, that when he cannot refign the plea- 
 ' fures of life in his decay of appetite and inclination to 
 i them, his fon muft have a much uneafier tafk to refill 
 
 * the impetuofity of growing defires. The (kill therefore 
 ' mould, methinks, be to let a fon want no lawful di- 
 ' verfion, in proportion tor his future fortune, and the 
 ' figure he is to make in the world. The firlr. ftep to- 
 
 * wards virtue that I have obferved in young men of 
 
 * condition that have run into excefTes, has been that 
 ' they had a regard to their quality and reputation in 
 1 the management of their vices. Narrownefs in their 
 ' circumftances has made many youths, to fupply them* 
 ' felves as debauchees, commence cheats and rafcals. 
 
 * The father who allows his fon to his utmoir. ability a- 
 ' voids this latter evil, which as to the world is much 
 ' greater than the former. But the contrary practice has 
 I prevailed fo much among fome men, that I have known 
 ' them deny them what was merely neceflary for educa- 
 ' tion fuitable to their quality. Poor young Antonio is 
 ' a lamentable inftance of ill conduct in this kind. The 
 ' young man did not want natural talents ; but the fa- 
 ' ther of him was a coxcomb, who affected being a fine 
 ' gentleman fo unmercifully, that he could not endure 
 ' in his fight, or the frequent mention of one, who was 
 
 * his fon, growing into manhood, and thrufting him 
 
 * out of the gay world. I have often thought the father 
 
 ' took 
 
No 49 6. THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 93 
 
 ' tookafccret pleafure in reflecting, that when that fine 
 
 * houfe and feat came into the next hands, it would re- 
 
 * vive his memory, as a perfon who knew how to enjoy 
 ' them, from obfervation of the rufticity and ignorance 
 
 * of his fuccefTor. Certain it is that a man may, if he 
 1 will, let his heart clofe to the having no regard to 
 ' any thing but his dear felf, even with exclufion of his 
 
 * very children. I recommend this fubject to your con- 
 
 * fideration, and am, 
 
 SIR, Tour mojl humble fervant, T. P. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 London, Sept. 26, 17 12. 
 
 I AM jufl: come from Tunbridge, and have fince my 
 return read Mrs. Matilda Mohair's letter to you: 
 ' She pretends to make a mighty Aory about the diver- 
 ■ fion of twinging in that place. What was done, ivas 
 
 * only among relations; and no man fwung any woman 
 1 who was not fecond coulin at fartheft. She is pleafed 
 ' to fay, care was taken that the gallants tied the ladies 
 ' legs before they were wafted into the air. Since fhe is fo 
 ' fpitefnl, I will tell you the plain truth ; There was no 
 ' fi:ch nicety obferved, fince we were all, as I jufl: now 
 ' told yon, near relations ; but Mrs. Mohair herfelf has 
 i been fwung there, and fhe invents all this malice, be- 
 ' caufe it was obferved (he has crooked legs, of which 
 
 * I was an eye-witnefs. 
 
 Tour humble fervant, 
 
 Richard Shoeltring. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, Tunbridge, Sept. 26, 1712. 
 
 WE have jufl: now read your paper, containing 
 Mrs. Mohair's letter. It is an invention of her 
 own from one end to the other ; and I defire you would 
 print the inclofed letter by itfelf, and fhorten it fo as 
 to come within the compafs of your half-fheet. She 
 is the mod malicious minx in the world, for all (lie 
 looks fo innocent. Do not leave out that part about 
 her being in love with her father's butler, which makes 
 her fhun men ; for that is the trueft of it all. 
 Tour humble fervant, 
 
 Sarah Trice. 
 P. S. ( She has crooked legs. 
 
 Ma. 
 
94 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 NO 497. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, Tunbrldge, Sept. 26, 1712. 
 
 ' A LL that Mrs. Mohair is To vexed at againft the 
 ' X"\_good company of this place, is, that we all know 
 
 * fhe has crooked legs. This is certainly true. I do not 
 ' care for putting my name, becaufeone would not be in 
 ' the power of the creature. 
 
 Tour humble fervant unknown. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, Tunbridge, Sept, 26, 1712. 
 
 HHAT infufferable prude Mrs. Mohair, who has 
 told fuch flories of the company here, is with 
 { child, for all her nice airs and her crooked leg?. Pray 
 
 * be fure to put her in for both thofe two things, and 
 i you will oblige everybody here, efpecially 
 
 Tour humble fervant^ 
 T Alice Bluegarter. 
 
 N° 497. Tuefday, September 30. 
 
 yj cunning old fox this ! 
 
 Menander. 
 
 FAVOUR well beflowed is almoft as great an 
 honour to him who confers it, as to him who re- 
 ceives it. W hat indeed makeb for the fuperior re- 
 putation of the patron in this cafe, is, that he is always 
 lurrounded with fpecious pretences of unworthy can- 
 didates, and is often alone in the kind inclination he has 
 towards the v/ell-deferving. Juilice is the full quality 
 in the man who is in a polt of direction ; and I remember 
 to have heard an old gentleman talk of the civil wars, 
 and in his relation give an account of a general officer, 
 who with this one quality, without any mining endow- 
 ments, became fo peculiarly beloved and honoured, that 
 all decifions between man and man were laid before him 
 by the parties concerned in a private way; and they 
 would lay by their animofities implicitly, if he bid them 
 be friends, or fubmit themfelves in the wrong without 
 reluctance, if he faid it, without waiting the judgment 
 
 of 
 
N° 497. THE SPECTATOR. 9? 
 
 of court-marfnals. His manner was to keep the dates 
 of all commiffions in his clofet, and wholly difmifs 
 from the fervicc fuch who were deficient in their duty ; 
 and after that took care to prefer according to the order 
 of battle. His familiars werehisintire friends, and could 
 have no interefted views in courting his acquaintance; 
 for his affection was no ftep to their preferment, tho' it 
 was to their reputation. By this means a kind afreet, a 
 falutation, a fmile, and giving out his hand, had the 
 weight of what is eiteemed by vulgar minds more fub- 
 itantial. His buflnefs was very fhort, and he who had 
 nothing to do but juftice, was never affronted with aie- 
 queft of a familiar daily vifitant for what was due to a 
 braveman at a diftance. Extraordinary merit he ufed to 
 recommend to the king for fome diftindlion at home, till 
 the order of battle made way for his riiingin the troops. 
 Add to this, that he had an excellent manner of getting 
 rid of fuch whom he obferved were good at a Halt, as 
 hisphrafe was. Under this defcription he comprehended 
 all thofe who were contented to live without reproach, 
 and had no promptitude in their minds towards glory. 
 Thefe fellows v/ere alfo recommended to the king, and 
 taken off of the general's hands into pods wherein dili- 
 gence and common honefty were all that were necefla- 
 ry. This general had no weak part in his line, but eve- 
 ry man had as much care upon him, and as much ho- 
 nour to lofe as himfelf. Every officer could anfwer for 
 what paffed where he was, and the general's prefence 
 was never necefTaryany where, but where he had placed 
 himfelf at the firft difpofltion, except that accident hap- 
 pened from extraordinary efforts of the enemy which 
 he could not forefee; but it was remarkable that it ne- 
 ver fell out from failure in his own troops. It mud be 
 confeffed the world is ju(t fo much out of order, as an 
 unworthy perfon poffeffes what fhould be in the directi- 
 on of him who has better pretentions to it. 
 
 INSTEAD of fuch a conduct as this old fellow ufed 
 to defcribe in his general, all the evils which have ever 
 happened among mankind have a?o r e from the wanton 
 difpofltion of the favours of the powerful. It isgenerally 
 all that men ofmodefty and virtue can do, to fail in with 
 fome whimfical turn in a great man, to make way for 
 
 things 
 
?6 THE SPECTATOR. NO497. 
 
 things of real and abfolute fervice. In the time of Don 
 Sebaftian of Portugal, or fome time fince, the firft mini- 
 fter would let nothing come near him but what bore the 
 moft profound face of wifdom and gravity. They carri- 
 ed it fo far, that, for the greater (hew of their profound 
 knowlege, a pair of fpectacles tied on their nofes, with 
 a black ribbon round their heads, was what completed 
 the drefs of thofe who made their court at his levee, and 
 none with naked nofes were admitted to his prefence. 
 A blunt honeft fellow, who had a command in the train 
 of artillery, had attempted to make an impreffion upon 
 theporterdayafterdayinvain, till at length he made his 
 appearance in a very thoughtful darkfute of clothes, and 
 two pair of fpeftacles on at once. He was conducted 
 from room to room, with great deference, to the minift- 
 er ; and carrying on the farce of the place, he told his 
 excellence that he had pretended in this manner to be 
 wifer than he really was, but with no ill intention ; but 
 he was honeft fuch-a-one of the train, and he came to 
 tell him that they wanted wheel-barrows and pick-axes. 
 The thing happened not to difpleafe, the great man 
 wasfeento fmile, and thefuccefsful officer was recondu- 
 cted with the fame profound ceremony out of thehoufe. 
 WHENLeoX, reigned pope of Rome, his holinefs, 
 tho' a man of fenfe, and of an excellent tafte of letters, 
 of all things affected fools, buffoons, humourifts, and, 
 coxcombs : whether it were from vanity, and that he 
 enjoyed no talents in other men but what were infe- 
 rioi to him, or whatever it was, he carried it fo far, that 
 his whole delight was in finding out new fools, and, 
 as our phrafeis, playing them off, and making them fhcw 
 themfelves to advantage. Aprieft of his former acquain- 
 tance fuffered a great many difappointments in attempt- 
 ing to findaccefs to him in a regular character, till at laft 
 in defpair he retired fromRome, and returned in an equi- 
 page fo very fantaftical, both as to the drefs of himfelf 
 and fervants, that the whole court were in an emulation 
 who fhouldfirft introducehim to his holinefs. What ad- 
 ded to the expe&ation his holinefs had of the pleafure 
 he mould have in his follies, was, that this fellow, in a 
 drefs the moft exquifitely ridiculous, defired he might 
 fpeak to him alone, for he had matters of the higheft 
 
 im- 
 
 ?•■ 
 
No 497- 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 97 
 
 importance, upon whJch he wanted a conference. No- 
 thing could be denied to a coxcomb of fo great hope ; 
 but when they were apart, the impoftor revealed him- 
 felf, and fpoke as follows : 
 
 O not be furprized, moll; holy father, at feeing, 
 inflead of a coxcomb to laugh at, your old friend 
 who has taken this way of accefs to admonifh you of 
 your own folly. Can any thing fnew your holinefs how 
 unworthily you treat mankind, more than my being 
 put upon this d'fficulty to £°ak with you ? It is a de- 
 gree of folly to delight to ice it in others, and it is the 
 greuteft infolence imaginable to rejoice in the difg race 
 of human nature. It is a criminal humility in a per- 
 fon of your holinefs's understanding, to believe you 
 cannot excel but in the converfation of half-wits, hu- 
 mourifts, coxcombs and buffoons. If your holinefs has 
 a mind to be diverted like a rational man, you have a 
 great opportunity for it, in difrobing all the imperti- 
 nents you have favoured, of all their riches and trap- 
 pings at once, and bellowing them on the humble, the 
 virtuous, and the meek. If your holinefs is not concern- 
 ed for the fake of virtue and religion, be plea fed to re- 
 flect, that for the fake of your own fafety it is not pro- 
 per to be fo very much in jell:. When the pope is thus 
 merry, the people will in time begin to think many 
 things, which they have hitherto beheld with great ve- 
 neration, are in themfelves objects of fcorn and deri- 
 fion. If they once get a trick of knowing how to laugh, 
 your holinefs's faying this fentence in one nioht-can 
 and the other with the other, the change of your (Hypers, 
 bringing you your ftafFin the midft of a prayer, then 
 ftripping you of one veil and clapping on a fecond dur- 
 ing divine fervice, will be found out to have nothing 
 in it. Confider, Sir, that at this rate a head will be rec- 
 koned never the wifer for being bald, and the ignorant 
 will be apt to fay, that going bare-foot does not at all 
 help on in the way 10 heaven. The red cap and the 
 conl will fall under the fame contempt ; and the vul- 
 gar will tell us to our faces that we fliall have no au- 
 ji thority over them, but from the force of our arguments, 
 and the fandlity of our lives. T 
 
 VOL. VII. E Wc.hefday, 
 
93 THE SPECTATOR. Ko 49 3. 
 
 N° 49 8. 
 
 JVed?2efday\ OBober 
 
 i. 
 
 - Fruflra retinacula tendens 
 
 Fertur equis auriga t neque audit currus habenas. 
 
 Virg. Georg. i. v. 514. 
 
 Nor reins, nor curbs , nor cries, tbe borfes fear, 
 Hut force along tbe trembling charioteer. Dryden. 
 
 To the Spectator-Ge^ral of Great Britain. 
 
 From the farther end of the widow's coffee-houfe in Deve* 
 reux-Courty Monday evening, twenty eight minutes 
 and a half pafl fix . 
 
 Dear Dumb, 
 
 IN fhort, to ufe no farther preface, if I mould tell 
 you that I have feen a hackney-coachman, when 
 he has come to fet down his fare, which has 
 confuted of two or three very fine ladies, hand them 
 out, and falute every one of them with an air of fa- 
 miliarity, without giving the lead offence, you would 
 perhaps think me guilty of a gafconade. But to clear 
 myfelf from that imputation, and to explain this mat- 
 ter to you, I allure you that there are many illuftri- 
 ous youths within this city, who frequently recreate 
 themfelves by driving of a hackney-coach : but thofe 
 whom, above all others, I would recommend to you, 
 are the young gentlemen belonging to our inns of 
 court. We have, I think, about a dozen coachmen, 
 who have chambers here in the Temple ; and as it 
 is reafonable to believe others will follow their ex- 
 ample, we may perhaps in time, if it (hall be thought 
 convenient, be drove to Weftminfter by our own 
 fraternity, allowing every fifth perfon to apply his 
 meditations this way, which is but amodeft computa- 
 tion, as the humour is now likely to take. It is to 
 be hoped likewife, that there are in the other nurfe- 
 ries of the law to be found a proportionable number 
 of thefe hopeful plants, fpringing up, to the everlaft- 
 in renown of their native country. Of how long 
 
 * {landing 
 
No 498. THE SPECTATOR. 99 
 
 {landing this humour has been, I know toot ; the 
 fidt time I had any particular reafon to take notice 
 of it, was about this time twelve-month, when being 
 upon Hampftead Heath with Come of thefe Studious 
 young men, who went thither purely for the fake of 
 contemplation, nothing would ferve them but I muft 
 go thro' a courfe of this phiiofophy too J and being 
 ever willing to embellifli myfelf with any commend- 
 able qualification, it was not long ere they perfuaded 
 me into the coach-box ; nor indeed much longer,be- 
 fore I underwent the fate of my brother Phaeton ; for 
 having drove about fifty paces with pretty good fuccefs, 
 thro' my own natural Sagacity, together with the good 
 instructions of my tutors, who, to give them their 
 due, were on all hands encouraging and aSTiftingme 
 in this laudable undertaking ; I lay , Sir, having drove 
 about fifty paces with pretty good fucceTs, I muit 
 needs be exercifing the lafh, which the horfes refent- 
 cd lb ill from my hand^, that they gave a fudden Start, 
 and thereby pitched me directly upon my head, as I 
 very well remembered about half an hour afterwards, 
 which not only deprived me of all the knowlegelhad 
 gained for fifty yards before, but had like to have 
 broke my neck into the bargain. After fuch a S'e- 
 vere reprimand, you may imagine I was not very ea- 
 fily prevailed with to make a fecond attempt; and in- 
 deed, upon mature deliberation, the whole fcience 
 feemed, at leaSt to me, to be furrounded with fo many 
 difficulties, that notwithstanding the unknown ad- 
 vantages which might have accrued to me thereby, I 
 gave over all hopes of attaining it ; and I believe had 
 never thought of it more, but that my memory has 
 been lately refrefhed by feeing fome of thefe ingeni- 
 ous gentlemen play in the open llreets, one of which 
 I fiw receive fo fuitable a reward of his labours, that 
 tho' I know you are no friend to Story-telling, yet 1 
 muft beg leave to trouble you with this at large. 
 *■ ABOUT a fortnight fince, as I was diverting my- 
 felf with a pennyworth of walnuts at the Temple- 
 gate, a lively young fellow in a funian jacket {hot 
 by me, beckoned a coach, and told the coachman he 
 wanted to go as far asChelfea : they agreed upon the 
 E 2 ' mice, 
 
jo T H E S P E C T A T R. N° 49 g. 
 
 price, and this young gentleman mounts the coach- 
 box ; the fellow, (taring at him, deilred to know, if 
 he mould not drive till they were out of town ? No, 
 no, replied he : he was then going to climb up to him, 
 but received another check, and was then ordered to 
 get into the coach, or behind it, for that he wanted 
 no inftrudtors ; but be fure, you dog you, fays he, 
 don't you bilk me. The fellow thereupon furrender- 
 ed his whip, Scratched his head, and crept into the 
 coach. Having myfelf occasion to go into the Strand 
 about the fame time, we darted both together ; but 
 the {Irect being very full of coaches, and he not fo 
 able a coachman as perhaps he imagined himfelf, I 
 had foon got a little way before him ; often, however, 
 having the curiofity to cad: my eye back upon him, 
 to obferve how he behaved himfelf in this high ftati- 
 on ; which he did with great compofure, till he came 
 to the pafs, which is a military term the brothers of 
 the whip have given to the Itrait at St. Clement's 
 church : when he was arrived near this place, where 
 are always coaches in waiting, the coachmen began 
 to fuck up the mufcles of their checks, and to tip the 
 wink upon each other, as if they had fome roguery 
 in their heads, which I was immediately convinced 
 of; for he no fooner came within reach, but the nrft 
 of them with his whip took the exad dimenfion of 
 his moulders, which he very ingenioufly called en- 
 dorhng ; and indeed I muft fay, that every one of 
 them took due care to endorfe him as he came thro' 
 their hands. He feemed at firft a little unea'fy under 
 the operation, and was going in all hafte to take the 
 numbers of their coaches; but at length, by the me- 
 diation of the worthy gentleman in the coach, his 
 wrath was afTuaged, and he prevailed upon to purfue 
 hisjourney; tho' indeed I thought theyhadclapt fuch 
 a fpoke in his wheel, as had difablcd him from being 
 a coachman for that day at le^rt : for I am only mi- 
 flsiken, Mr. Spec, if fome of thofe indorsements were 
 not wrote in fo ftrong a hand, that they are ftill le- 
 gible. Upon my inquiring the reafon of this unufual 
 falutation, they told me, that it was a cuftom .among 
 them, whenever they faw a brother tottering or un- 
 
 < ft able 
 
K°499- THE SPECTATOR. 101 
 
 (table in his port, to lend him a hand, in order to fet- 
 tle him again therein : for my part, I thought their 
 allegations but reasonable, and fo marched off. Be- 
 hdesour coachmen, we abound in divers other forts 
 of ingenious robuft youth, who, 1 hope, will not take 
 it ill if I refer giving you an account of their feveral 
 recreations to another opportunity. In the mean 
 time, if you would but beftow a little of your whol- 
 fom advice upon our coachmen, it might perhaps be 
 a reprieve to fome of their necks. As I underftand 
 you have feveral infpeclors under you, if you wonld 
 but fend one amongft us here in the Temple, I am 
 perfuaded he would not want employment. But I 
 leave this to your own confideration, and am, 
 
 S I R, your very humble fervant, 
 
 Mofes Greenbag. 
 
 1 P. S. I HAVE heard our critics in the coffee- 
 houfes hereabout talk mightily of the unity of time 
 and place : according to my notion of the matter, I 
 have endeavoured at fomething like it in the bepi li- 
 ning of my epittle. I defire to be informed a little as 
 to that particular. In my next I defign to give you 
 fome account of excellent watermen, who are bied 
 to the law, and far outdo the land Undents above- 
 mentioned. T 
 
 N° 499. Thurfday, OBober 2. 
 
 Nimis uncis 
 
 Naribus indulges Per. Sat. i. v. 40. 
 
 You drive the jejl too far. D R y d e n . 
 
 MY friend Will Honeycomb has told me, for 
 above this half year, that he had a great mind 
 to try his hand at a Spectator, and that he 
 w ould fain have one of his writing in my works. This 
 morning I received from him the following letter, 
 which, after having rectified fome orthographical mi- 
 ftakes, I mail make a prefent to the public. 
 
 E 3 Dear 
 
102 THE SPECTATOR. No 499 . 
 
 Dear Spec, 
 
 I WAS about two nights ago, in company with ve- 
 ry agreeable young people ofbothfexes, where,, 
 talking of fome of your papers which are written on 
 conjugal love, there arofe a difpute among us, whe- 
 ther there were not more bad hufbands in the world 
 than bad wives. A gentleman, who was advocate for 
 the ladies, took this occafion to tell us the flory of a 
 famous flege in Germany, which I have fince found re- 
 lated in my hifiorical dictionary, after the following 
 manner. When the emperor C'onrade the third had 
 befieged Guelphus, duke of Bavaria, in the city of 
 Henfberg, the women finding that the town could 
 not poiTibly hold out long, petitioned the emperor that 
 they might depart out of it, with fo much as each of 
 them could carry. The emperor knowing they could 
 not convey away many of their effects, granted them 
 their petition ; when the women, to his great fur- 
 prize, came out of the place with every one her huf~ 
 band upon her back. The emperor was fo moved at 
 the fight, that he bnrfl into tears, and after having 
 very much extolled the women for their conjugal 
 affection, gave the men to their wives, and received 
 the duke into his favour. 
 
 6 THE ladies did not a little triumph at this ftory,. 
 afking us at the fame time, whether in our confei- 
 ences we believed that the men in any town of Great 
 Britain would, upon the fame offer, and at the fame 
 conjuncture, have loaden themfelves with their wives • 
 or rather, whether they would not have been glad of 
 fuch an opportunity to get rid of them ? To .this my 
 very good friend Tom Dapperwit, who took upon 
 him to be the mouth of our fex, replied, that they 
 would be very much to blame if they would not do 
 the fame good office for the women, confidering that 
 their ftrength would be greater, and their burdens 
 lighter. A s we were amufing ourfelves with difcourf- 
 es of this nature in order to pafs away the evening, 
 which now begins to grow tedious, we fell into that 
 laudable and primitive diveifion of queftions and 
 commands. I was no fooner veiled with the regal, 
 authority, but I injoined all the ladies, under pain 
 
 * of 
 
NO 499. THE SPECTATOR. 103 
 
 of my difpleafure, to tell the company ingenioufly, 
 in cafe they had been in the fiege above-mentioned, 
 and had the fame offers made them as the good wo- 
 men of that place,*what every one of them would have 
 brought off with her, and have thought mod worth 
 the faving ? There were feveral merry anfwers made 
 to my queftion, which entertained us till bed-time. 
 This filled my mind with fuch a huddle of ideas, that 
 upon my going to fleep, I fell into the following dream. 
 1 1 SAW a town of this ifland, which fhallbe name- 
 lefs, inverted on every fide, and the inhabitants of it 
 fo flraitned as to cry for quarter. The general refuf- 
 ed any other terms than thofe granted to the above- 
 mentioned town of Henfberg, namely, that the mar- 
 ried women might come out with what they could 
 bring along with them. Immediately the city-gates 
 flew open, and a female proceflion appeared, multi- 
 tudes of the fex following one another in a row, and 
 daggering under their refpective burdens. I took my 
 ftand upon an eminence in the enemies camp, which 
 was appointed for the general rendezvous of thefe fe- 
 male carriers, being very defirous to look into their 
 feveral ladings. The firft of them had a huge D.ckupon 
 her fhoulders, which fhe fet down with great care : 
 upon the opening of it, when I expected to have feen 
 her hufband Jhot out of it, I found it was filled with 
 china-ware. The next appeared in a more decent fi- 
 gure, carrying a handfom young fellow upon herback : 
 I could not forbear commending the young woman fc r 
 her conjugal affection, when, to my great furprize, £ 
 found that (he had left the good man at borne, and 
 brought away her gallant. I faw the third, at fome 
 diftance, with a little withered face peeping over her 
 fhoulder, whom I could not fufpecT: for any but her 
 fpoufe, till upon her fetting him down I heard her 
 call him dear pug, and found him to be her favourite 
 monkey. A fourth brought a huge bale of cards along 
 with her ; and the fifth a Bolonia lap-dog ; for her 
 hufband, it feems, being a very burly man, me thought 
 it would be lefs trouble for her to bring away little 
 Cupid. The next was the wife of a rich uferer,loaden 
 with a bag of gold ; fhe told us that her fpoufe was 
 E .4 ' scry 
 
104 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 N° 499. 
 
 very old, and by the courfe of nature could not ex- 
 pect to live long ; and that to (hew her tender re- 
 gards for him, fhe had faved that which the poor man 
 loved better than his li e. The next came towards 
 us with her fon upon her back, who, we were told, 
 was the greated rake in the place, but fo much the 
 mother's darling, that me left her hufband behind 
 with a large family of hopeful fons and daughters, 
 for the fake of this gracelefs youth. 
 'IT would be encllefs to mention the feveral perfons, 
 with their feveral loads that appeared to me in this 
 flrange vifion. AH the place about me was covered 
 with packs of ribbons, brocades, embroidery, and 
 ten thoufand other materials fnfficient to have fur- 
 niihed a whole ftreet of toy-fhops. One of the wo- 
 men, having an hufband, who was none of the hea- 
 vier!:, was bringing him off upon her moulders, at 
 the fame time that fhe carried a great bundle of Flan- 
 ders-lace under her arm ; but finding herfelf fo over- 
 loaden,that fhe could not favebothof them, fhe drop- 
 ped the good man, and brought away the bundle. In 
 fhort,lfoundbut one hufbandamongthisgreat moun- 
 tain of baggage, who was a lively cobler, that kicked 
 and fpnrred all the while his wife was carrying him 
 on, and, as it was faid, had fcarce palled a day in his 
 life without giving her the difcipline of the ftrap. 
 1 I CANNOT conclude my letter, dear Spec, with- 
 out telling thee one very odd whim in this my dream. 
 I faw, methoughts, a dozen women employed in bring- 
 ing ofFone man ; I could not guefs who it fhould be, 
 till upon his nearer approach I difcovered thy fliort 
 phiz. The women all declared that it was for the 
 fake of thy works, and not thy perfon, that they 
 brought thee off, and that it was on condition that 
 thou moulded continue the Spectator. If thou think - 
 ed this dream will make a tolerable one, it is at thy 
 fervice, from, 
 
 Dear Spe c, thins, fleeping and waking, .- 
 
 Will Honeycomb.' 
 
 THE ladies will fee, by this letter, what I have 
 
 often told them, that W 1 l l is one of thofe old-fafhion- 
 
 ed men of wit and pleafure of the town, that fhews his 
 
 parts 
 
NO 500. THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 lOf 
 
 parts by rallery on marriage, and one who has often 
 tried his fortune that way without fnccefs. I cannot 
 however difmifs his letter, without obferving, that 
 the true ftory on which it is built does honour to the 
 fex, and that in order to abufe them, the writer is ob- 
 bliged to have recourfe to dream and fiction. 
 
 1 
 
 N° 500. Friday > Ofiober 3. 
 
 o 
 
 Hue natas adjice fieptem, 
 
 Et totidem juve'ies, et mox generofique imrufique, 
 Quaerite nunc, habeat quam noftra fiipevb'.a caufam. 
 Ovid, Met. 1. 6. v. 182. 
 
 Seven are my daughters, of a firm divine, 
 With feven 'fair fins, an indefietiive line. 
 Go, fools, con filer this, and afk the can fie, 
 From which my pride its Jlrong prefiumption drazvs. 
 
 Croxal. 
 SIR, 
 
 OU who are fo well acquainted with the ftory 
 of Socrates, muft have read how, upon his 
 making a difcourfe concerning love, he pref- 
 fed his point with fo much fuccefs, that all the ba- 
 chelors in his audience took a refolution to marry by 
 the firft opportunity, and that all the married men 
 immediately took horfe and galloped home to their 
 wives. I am apt to think your difcourfes, in which 
 you have drawn fo many agreeable pictures of mar- 
 riage, have had a very good effect this way in Eng- 
 land. We are obliged to you, at leaft for having 
 taken off" that fenfelefs ridicule, which for many 
 years the witlings of the town have turned upon their 
 fathers and mothers. For my own part, I was born 
 in wedloc, and I do not care who knows it ; for 
 which reafon, among many others, I mould look 
 upon myfelf as a moft in fufferable coxcomb, did I 
 endeavour to maintain that cuckoldomwas infepar- 
 able from marriage, or to make ufe of Hufband and 
 Wife as terms of reproach. Nay, Sir, I will go one 
 ftep further, and declare to you, before the whole 
 E 5 ' world, 
 
io£ THE S P E C T A T R. NO 3 oo 
 
 world, that I am a married man, and at the fame 
 time I have fo much allurance as not to be afhamed 
 of what I have done. 
 
 ' AIMONG the feveral pleafures that accompany 
 this ftate of life, and which you have defcribed in' 
 your former papers, there are two you have not 
 taken notice of, and which are feldom call; into the 
 account, by thofe who write on this fubject. You 
 muft have obferved, in your {peculations on human 
 nature, that nothing is more gratifying to the mind 
 of man than power or dominion ; and this I think 
 myfelf amply pofTefiTed of, as I am the father of a fa- 
 mily. I am perpetually taken up in giving out or- 
 ders, in prescribing duties, in hearing parties, in 
 adminiftring juftice, and in diftributing rewards and 
 puniihments. To fpeak in the language of the cen- 
 turion-, I fay unto one, Go, and he goeth ; and to an- 
 other , Come, and he cometh ,■ and to my fervant, Do 
 ihh, and he doth it. In (hort, Sir, I took upon my 
 family as a patriarchal Sovereignty, in which I am 
 myfelf both king and prieft. All great governments 
 are nothing elfe but clufters of thefe little private 
 royalties, and therefore I conflder the matters of fa- 
 milies as fmali deputy-governors prehding over the 
 feveral little parcels and divisions of their fellow Sub- 
 jects. As I take great pleafure in the administration 
 of my government in particular,: fo I look upon my- 
 felf not only as a more ufeful, but as a much greater 
 and happier man than any bachelor in England, of 
 rny rank and condition. 
 
 - TH E R E is another accidental advantage in mar- 
 riage, which has likewife fallen to my (hare, I mean 
 the having a multitude of children. Thefe I cannot 
 but regard as very great blelTings. When I fee my 
 little troop before me, I rejoice in the additions 
 1 which I have made to my fpecies, to my country, 
 and to my religion, in having produced fuch a num- 
 ' ber of reafonable creatures, citizens, and Chri- 
 : ftians, I am pleafed to fee myfelf thus perpetuated ; 
 : and as there is no production comparable to that of 
 ' a human creature, I am more proud of having been 
 ' the occasion of ten fuch glorious productions, than 
 
 * if 
 
NO co©. 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 107 
 
 if I had built a hundred pyramids at my own expence, 
 or puMiihed as many volumes of the fined: wit and 
 learning. In what a beautiful light has the holy fcrip- 
 ture reprefented Abdon, one of the judges of Ifrael, 
 who had forty fons and thirty grandfons, that rode 
 on threefcore and ten afs colts, according to the 
 magnificence of the eaftern countries ? How muft 
 the heart of the old man rejoice, when he faw fuch a 
 beautiful proceflion ofhisowndefcendants, fuch a nu- 
 merous cavalcade ofhis own railing ? For my own part, 
 I can fit in my parlour with great content, when I take 
 a review of half a dozen of my little boys mounting 
 upon hobby-horfes, and of as many little girls tutor- 
 ing their babies, each of them endeavouring to ex- 
 cel the reft, and to do fomething that may gain my 
 favour and approbation. I cannot queftion but he, 
 who has blefled me with fo many children, will affift 
 my endeavours in providing for them. There is one 
 thing I am able to give each of them, which is a vir- 
 tuous education. I think it is Sir Francis Bacon's ob- 
 fervation, that in a numerous family of children, the 
 eldeft is often fpoiled by the profpect of an eftate, 
 and the youngeit by being the darling of the parent ; 
 but that fome one or other in the middle, who has 
 not perhaps been regarded, has made his way in the 
 world, and over-topped the reft. It is my bufinefs 
 to implant in everyone of my children the fame feeds 
 of indufiry, and the fame honeft principles. Ey this 
 means, I think, I have a fair chance, that one or o- 
 ther of them may grow confiderable in fome or other 
 way of life, whether it be in the army, or in the fleet, 
 in trade, or any of the three learned pro feflions ; for 
 you muft know, Sir, that from long experience and 
 obfervation, I am perfuaded of what feems a paradox 
 to moft of thofe with whom I converfe, namely, 
 That a man who has many children, and gives them 
 a good education, is more likely to raife a family, 
 than he who has but one, notwithftanding he leaves 
 him his whole eftate. For this reafon I cannot for- 
 bear amufing myfelf with finding out a general, an 
 admiral, or an alderman of London, a divine, a 
 phyfician, ®r a lawyer, among my little people who 
 
 i are 
 
io3 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. \^ - M 
 
 ,* are now perhaps in petticoats ; and when I fee the 
 ' motherly airs of my Lttle daughters when they are 
 
 * playing with their puppets, I cannot but flatter myfelf 
 ' that their hufbands and children will be happy in the 
 
 * porTefllon of inch wives and mothers. 
 
 ' IF you are a father, you will not perhaps think this 
 ' letter impertinent : but if you areaiingle man, you 
 
 * will not know the meaning of it, and probably throw 
 
 * it into the fire: whatever you determine of it, you 
 ' may allure yourfelf that it comes from one who is 
 
 Tour mojl humble fervant, and well-wi/her, 
 O Philogamus. 
 
 N° 501. Saturday, Qflober 4 
 
 Durun : fed levins fit pa t tent i a 
 
 Quicquid corrigere ejl nefas . Hor. Od. 24.I.1.V.19. 
 'Tis bard : but when we needs mu ft bear, 
 Enduring patience makes the burden light. Creech. 
 
 S fome of the fined compofitions among the an- 
 tients are in allegory, I have endeavoured, in 
 feveral of my papers, to revive that way of 
 writing, and hope I have not been altogether unfuccefs- 1 
 f'ul in it ; for I find there is always a great demand for 
 tho'e particular papers, and cannot but obferve, that 
 feveral authors have endeavoured of late to excel in 
 works of this nature. Among thefe, I do not know 
 any one who has fticceeded better than a verv ingeni- 
 ous gentleman, to whom I am obliged for tie following 
 piece, and who was the author of the vifion in the 
 CCCCLXth paper. O 
 
 O W are we tortured with the abfence of what we 
 covet to poflefs, when it appears to be loft to us ! 
 "What excursions does the foul make in imagination af- 
 ter it! And how does it turn into itlelf again, more 
 Xoolilhly foncl and dejected, at the difappointment ! 
 Our grief, inftead of having recourfe to reafon, which 
 might refbain it, fearches to find a further nouriih- 
 
 ment. 
 
NOyoi. THE SPECTATOR. 109 
 
 ment It calls upon memory to relate the feveral paf- 
 fages and circumuances of fatisfactions which we for- 
 merly enjoyed ; the pleafures we purchafed by thofe 
 riches that are taken from us ; or the power and fplen- 
 dor of our departed honours ; or the voice, the words, 
 the looks, the temper, and affections of our friends 
 that are deceafed. It needs muft happen from hence 
 that the pjjTion mould often fwell to fuch a fize as to 
 burit the heart which contains it, if time did not make 
 thefe circumftances lefs ftrong and lively, fo that rea- 
 fon mould become a more equal match for the paflion, 
 or if another defire which becomes more prefent did 
 not overpower them with a livelier reprefentation. 
 Thefe are thoughts which I had, when I fell into a 
 kind of vifion upon this fubjecl, and may therefore 
 (land for a proper introduction to a relation of it. 
 
 I FOUND myfelf upon a naked more, with com- 
 pany whofe afflicted countenances witnelTed their con- 
 ditions. Before us flowed a water deep, blent, and 
 called the river of Tears, which ifiuingfrom two foun- 
 tains on an upper ground, encompafled an ifland that 
 lay before us. The boat which plied in it was eld and 
 mattered, having been fometimes overfet by the im- 
 patience and haft of (ingle paiTengers to arrive at the 
 other fide. This immediately was brought to us by 
 Misfortune who ftcers it, and we were all preparing 
 to take our places, when there appeared a woman of a 
 mild and compofed behaviour, who began to deter us 
 from it, by reprefenting the dangers which would at- 
 tend our voyage. Hereupon Tome who knew her for 
 Patience, and fome of thofe too who, till then cried 
 the loudeft, were perfuaded by her, and returned back. 
 The reit of us went In, and (he (whofe good-nature 
 would not fufTer her to forfake perfonsin trouble) de- 
 fired leave to accompany us, that fhe might at leaf! ad- 
 mlnifter fome finall comfort or advice while we failed. 
 "We were no fooner embarked but the boat was pufhed 
 oft', the fheet was fpread ; and being filled with Sighs, 
 which are the winds of that country, we made a paf- 
 • fage to the farther bank, through feveral difficulties of 
 which the mod of us feemed utterly regardlefs. 
 
 WHEN 
 
no THE SPECTATOR. N°5<>i. 
 
 WHEN we landed, we perceived the ifland to be 
 flxangely overcaft with fogs, which no brightnefs could 
 pierce, fo that a kind of gloomy horror fat always 
 brooding over it. This had fomething in it very 
 {hocking to eafy tempers, infomuch that fome others, 
 whom Patience had by this time gained over, left us- 
 here, and privily conveyed themfelves round the verge 
 of the ifland to find a ford by which fhe told them they 
 might efcape. 
 
 FOR my part, I ftill went along with thofe who 
 were for piercing into the center of the place ; and 
 joining ourfelves to others whom we found upon 
 the fame journey, we marched folemnly as at a fune- 
 ral thro' bordering hedges of rofemary, and thro' 
 a grove of yew-trees, which love to over-fliadow 
 tombs and flourifh in church-yards. Here we heard 
 on every fide the wailings and complaints of feve- 
 ral of the inhabitants, who had call themfelves dif- 
 confolately at the feet of trees ; and as we chanced 
 to approach any of thefe, we might perceive them 
 wringing their hands, beating their breafls, tearing 
 their hair, or after fome other manner vifibly agitat- 
 ed with vexation. Our forrows were heightened by 
 the influence of what we heard and faw, and one 
 of our number was wrought up to fuch a pitch of 
 wildnefs, as to talk of hanging himfelf upon a bough 
 which (hot temptingly acrofs the path we travelled 
 in ; but he was retrained from it by the kind en- 
 deavours of our above-mentioned companion. 
 
 WE had now gotten into the moft dulky filentpart 
 of the ifland, and by the redoubled founds of fighs, 
 which made a doleful whittling in the branches, the 
 thicknefs of air which occafioned faintifh refpiration, 
 and the violent throbbings of heart which more and 
 more affedted us,we found that we approached theGrotto 
 of Grief. It was a wide, hollow, and melancholy cave, 
 funk deep in a dale, and watered by rivulets that had 
 a colour between red and black. Thefe crept flow 
 and half congealed amongft: its windings, and mixed 
 their heavy murmurs with the echo of groans that 
 rolled thro' all the paflages. In the mod retired part 
 of it fat the Doleful Being herfelf j the path to her 
 
 was 
 
N°5<>i' THE SPECTATOR. rir 
 
 was ftrowed with goads, ftings, and thorns ; and her 
 throne on which (he fat was broken into a rock, with 
 ragged pieces pointing upwards for her to lean upon. 
 A heavy mift hung above her ; her head opprelfed withit 
 reclined upon her arm : thus did flie reign over her 
 difconfolate fubje&s, full of herfelf to ftupidity, in e- 
 ternal penfiveneis, and the profoundeft filence. On one 
 fide of her Itood Dejeclion juft dropping into a fwoon, 
 and Palenefs waiting to a Ikeleton ; on the other fide 
 were Care inwardly tormented with imaginations, and 
 Anguifh fuffering outward Troubles to fuck the blood 
 from her heart in the (hape of Vultures. The whole 
 vault had a genuine difmalnefs in it, which a few fcat- 
 tered lamps, whofe bluifh flames arofe and funk in their 
 urns, difcovered to our eyes with increafe. Some of us 
 fell down, overcome and fpent with what they fufTered 
 in the way, and were given over to thofe tormentors 
 that Itood on either hand of the prefence; others, gal- 
 led and mortified with pain, recovered the entrance,, 
 where Patience, whom we had left behind, was ftill 
 waiting to receive us. 
 
 WITH her (whofe company was now become more 
 grateful to us by the want we had found of her) we 
 winded round the grotto, and afcendedat the back of it, 
 out of the mournful dale in whofe bottom it lay. On 
 this eminence we halted, by her advice, to pant for 
 breath ; and lifting our eyes, which 'till then were fix- 
 ed downwards, felt a fullen fort of fatisfaclion, in ob- 
 ferving through the (hades what numbers had entered 
 the illand. This fatisfaclion, which appears to have ill- 
 nature in it, was excufable, becaufe it happened at a 
 time when we were too much taken up with our own 
 concern, to have refpect to that of others; and there- 
 fore we did not confider them as fuffering, but our- 
 feives as not fuffering in the molt forlorn eftate. It 
 had alfo the ground-work of humanity and compaffion 
 in it, tho' the mind was then too dark and too deeply 
 engaged to perceive it ; but as we proceeded onwards^ 
 it began to difcover itfelf, and from obferving that o- 
 thers were unhappy, we came to queftion one another, 
 when it was that we met, and what were the fad occa- 
 fions that brought us together, Then we heard our fto- 
 
 ries, 
 
H2 THE SPECTATOR. No 501 
 
 rles, we compared them, we mutually gave and receiv- 
 ed pity, and fo by degrees became tolerable company. 
 
 A CONSIDERABLE part of the troublefom road 
 was thus deceived; at length the openings among the 
 trees grew larger, the air ieemed thinner, it lay with 
 Jefs oppreffion upon us, and we could now and then dif- 
 ce.n tracks in it of a lighter graynefs, like the break- 
 ings of day, fhort in duration, much enlivening, and 
 called in that country Gleams of amufement. Within a 
 fhort while thefe gleams began to appear more frequent, 
 and then brighter and of a longer continuance; the 
 Sighs, that hitherto filled the air with fo much doleful- 
 nefs, altered to the found of common breezes, and in 
 general the horrors of the ifland were abated. 
 
 WHEN we had arrived at laft at the ford by which 
 we were to pafs out, we met with thofe fafiuonable 
 mourners, who had been ferried over along with us, 
 and who being unwilling to go as far as we, had coaft- 
 ed by the more to find the place, where they waited 
 our coming; that by (hewing themfejves to the world 
 only at the time when we did, they might feem alfo to 
 have been among the troubles of the grotto. Here the 
 waters that roiled on the other fide fo deep and filent, 
 were much dried up, and it was an eafier matter for us 
 to wade over. 
 
 THE river be'ng crofied, we were received upon the 
 further bank by our friends and acquaintance, whom 
 Comfort had brought out to congratulate our appear- 
 ance in the world again. Some of thefe blamed us for 
 flaying fo long away from them, others advifed us a- 
 gainft all temptations of going back again; every one 
 was cautious not to renew our trouble, by afking any 
 particulars of the journey : and all concluded, that in 
 a cafe of fo much melancholy and affliction, we could 
 not have made choice of a fitter companion than Pati- 
 er.c*. Here Pat'ence, appearing ferene at her praifes, 
 delivered us over to Comfort. Comfort fmiled at his 
 receiving the charge; immediately the fky purpled on 
 that fide to which he turned, and double day at once 
 broke in upon me. 
 
 Monday f 
 
N° 502. Monday, OBober 6. 
 
 Melius , pej 'us , profit, obfit, nil vi dent niji quod lubent. 
 Ter. Heaut. Act. 4. Sc. 1. 
 
 Better or ivorfe, profitable or dif advantageous, they 
 fee nothing but what the) lift. 
 
 HEN men read, they tafte the matter with 
 which they are entertained, according as their 
 own refpeclive ftudies, and inclinations have 
 prepared them, and make their reflexions accordingly. 
 Some, peruhng Roman writers, would find in them, 
 whatever the fubject of the difcourfes were, parts which 
 implied the grandeur of that people in their warfare 
 or their politics. As for my part, who am a mereSpEC- 
 tator, I drew this morning conclufions of their emi- 
 nence in what I think great, to wit, in having worthy 
 fentiments,fromthereadingacomedy of Terence. The 
 play was the Self-Tormentor. It is from the begin- 
 ning to the end a pel feci picture of human life, but I did 
 not obferve in the whole one paffage that could raife a 
 laugh. How well difpofed mult that people be, who 
 could be entertained with fatisfaclion by fo fober and 
 polite mirth ? In the firft fcene of the comedy, when 
 one of the old men accufes the other of impertinence 
 for interpofing in his affairs, he anfwers, / am a man, 
 and cannot help feeling any for row that c:-n arrive at man. 
 It is faid, this fentence was received with an univerfal 
 applaufe. There cannot be a greater argument of the 
 general good underftanding of a people, than a fudden 
 confent to give their approbation of a fentiment which 
 has no emotion in it. If it were fpoken with never fo 
 great Hull in the a6tor, the manner of uttering that fen- 
 tence could have nothing in it which could ftrike any 
 but people of the greateft. humanity, nay people elegant 
 and flcilful in obfervations upon it. It is poflible he 
 might have laid his hand on his bread:, and with a win- 
 ning insinuation in his countenance, exprelfed to his 
 
 neighbour 
 
114 THE SPECTATOR. NO 502. 
 
 neighbour that he was a man who made his cafe his 
 own ; yet I will engage a player in Covent-Garden 
 might hit fuch an attitude a thoufand times before 
 he would have been regarded. I have heard that a mi- 
 nifkr of ftate in the reign of queen Elizabeth had all 
 manner of books and ballads brought to him, of what 
 kind foever, and took great notice how much they took 
 with the people; upon which he would, and certainly 
 might, very well judge of their prefent difpofitions, and 
 the moft proper way of applying them according to his 
 own purpofes. What panes on the ftage, and the re- 
 ception it meets with from the audience, is a very ufe- 
 ful inftrudtion of this kind. According to what you 
 may obferve there on our ftage, you fee them often 
 moved fo directly againft all common fenfe and huma- 
 nity, thatyou would be apt to pronounce us a nation of 
 favages. It cannot be called a miftake of what is plea- 
 fant, but the very contrary to it is what moft afluredly 
 takes with them. The other night an old woman car- 
 ried off with a pain in her fide, with all the diftortions 
 and anguifh of countenance which is natural to one in 
 that condition, was laughed and clapped off the ftage. 
 Terence's comedy, which I am fpeaking of, is indeed 
 written as if he hoped to pleafe none but fuch as had as 
 good a tafte as himfelf. I could not but reflect upon the 
 natural defcription of the innocent young woman made 
 by the fervant to his mafter. When I came to the houfe, 
 faid he, an old woman opened the door, and I followed 
 her in, becaufe I could by entering upon them unawares 
 better obferve what wa s your ?niftrefs' s ordinary manner of 
 fpending her time, the only way of judging any one^s in- 
 clinations and genius. I found her at her needle in a fort 
 of fecond mourning, which fie wore for an aunt Jhe had 
 lately loft, She had nothing on but what fhewedjl.ie dref- 
 fed only for herfelf. Her hair hung negligently about her 
 Jhoulders. She had none of the arts with which others- 
 uje tofet themfehes off, but had that negligence ofper- 
 fon which is remarkable in thofe who are careful of their 
 minds — Then Jhe had a maid who was at work near her , 
 that was a flat tern, becaufe her miftrefs was carelefs ; 
 which I take to be another argument of your fecurity hi 
 her; for the Go-betweens of women of intrigue are re- 
 warded 
 
N G 5©2. THE SPECTATOR. nj 
 
 warded too well to be dirty. When you were named, and 
 1 told her you defired to fee her, Jhe threw down her 
 work for joy, covered her face, and decently hid her 
 tears He muft be a very good actor, and draw at- 
 tention rather from his own character than the words 
 of the author, that could gain it among us for this 
 fpeech, though fo full of nature and good fenfe. 
 
 THE intolerable folly and confidence of players 
 putting in words of their own, does in a great meafure 
 feed the abfurd tafte of the audience. But however 
 that is, it is ordinary for a clufter of coxcombs, to take 
 up the houfe to themfelves, and equally infult both the 
 actors and the company. Thefe favages, who want 
 all manner of regard and deference to the reft: of man- 
 kind, come only to (hew themfelves to us, without any 
 other purpofe than to let us know they defpife us. 
 
 THE grofs of an audience is compofedof two forts 
 of people, thofe who know no pleafure but of the body, 
 and thofe who improve or command corporeal pleafures 
 by the addition of finefentiments of the mind. At pre- 
 fent the intelligent part of the company are wholly 
 iubdued, by tkeinfurrecrions of thofe who know no fa- 
 tisfaclions but what they have in common with all o- 
 ther animals. 
 
 THIS is the reafon that when a fcene tending to,. 
 procreation is acted, you fee the whole pit in fuch a 
 chuckle, and old letchers, with mouths open, ftare at 
 the loofe gesticulations on ti e ftage with ihameful ear- 
 neftnefs; when thejufteft pictures of human life in its 
 calm dignity, and the propereft fcntiments for the con- 
 duct of it, pafs by like mere narration, as conducing 
 only to fornewhat much better which is to come after. 
 I have feen the whole houfe at fome times in fo proper 
 a difpofition, that indeed I have trembled for the boxes, 
 and feared the entertainment would end in the repre- 
 fentation of the rape of the Sabines. 
 
 I WOULD not be underftood in this talk to argue, 
 that nothing is tolerable on the ftage but what has an 
 immediate tendency to the promotion of virtue. On 
 the contrary, I can allow, provided there is nothing a- 
 gainft the interefts of virtue, and is not ofFenfive to 
 good-manners, that things of an indifferent nature may 
 
 be 
 
n6 THE SPECTATOR. Koj 2. 
 
 be reprefented. For this reafon I have no exception 
 to the well-drawn rufticities in the Country- Wake ; 
 and there is fomething fo miraculoufly pleafant in Dog- 
 get's acting the aukward triumph and comic forrow of 
 Hob in different circumftances, that I fhall not be able 
 to flay away whenever it is acted. All that vexes me is, 
 that the gallantry of taking the cudgels for Gloucefter- 
 fliire, with the pride of heart in tucking himfelf up, 
 and taking aim at his adverfary, as well as the other's 
 proteftation in the humanity of low romance, that he 
 could not promife the fquire to break Hob's head, 
 but he would, if he could, do it in love ; then flourifh 
 and begin : I fay, what vexes me is, that fuch excel- 
 lent touches as thefe, as well as the fquire's being out 
 of all patience at Hob's fuccefs, and venturing him- 
 felf into the croud, are circumftances hardly taken no- 
 tice of, and the height of the jeft is only in the very 
 point that heads are broken. I am confident, were 
 there a fcene written, wherein Pinkethman fhould break 
 his leg by wreftling with Bulloc, and Dicky come in to 
 fet it, without one word faid but what fhould be accord- 
 ing to the exact rules of furgery in making the e:\tenfi- 
 on, and binding up the leg, the whole houfe mould be 
 iii a roar of applaufe at the dilTembled anguifh of the 
 patient, the help given by him who threw him down, 
 and the handy addrefs and arch looks of the furgeon. 
 To enumerate the entrance of ghofts, the embattling of 
 armies, the .noife of heroes in love, with a thoufand 
 other enormities, would be to tranfgrefs the bounds of 
 this paper, for which reafon it is poffible they may have 
 hereafter difHnct difcourfes ; not forgetting any of the 
 audience who fhall fet up for actors, and interrupt the 
 play on the ftage : and players who fhall prefer the ap- 
 plaufe of fools to that of the reafonable part of the 
 company. T 
 
 Tutflcu 
 
N°$03. THE SPECTATOR. 117 
 
 N° 503. Tuefday, Oftoberj. 
 
 Deleo otnnes dehinc ex animo mul/erer. 
 
 Ter. Eun. Act. 2. Sc. 3. 
 Henceforth I blot all -women from my thoughts. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 OU have often mentioned with great vehemence 
 and indignation themifbehaviour of people at 
 church ; but I am at prefent to talk to you on 
 ' that fubject, and complain to you of one, whom at the 
 ' fame time I know not what to accufe of, except it be 
 ' looking too well there, and diverting the eyes of the 
 1 congregation to that one object. However I have 
 ' this to fay, that ihe might have (raid at her own pa- 
 1 rifh, and not come to perplex thofe who are other- 
 ' wife intent upon their duty. 
 
 ' LAST Sunday was feven-night I went into a church 
 i not far from London -Bridge ; but I wifh I had been 
 1 contented to go to my own pariih, I am fure it had 
 ' been better for me : I fay, I went to church thither, and 
 ' got into a pew very near the pulpit. I had hardly been 
 ' accommodated with a feat, before there entered into 
 
 • the ifle a young lady in the very bloom of youth and 
 ' beauty, and dreifed in the moft elegant manner imagi- 
 
 • nable. Her form was fuch, that it engaged the eyes of 
 ' the whole congregation in an inftant, and mine among 
 « the reft. Tho' we were all thus fixed upon her, (he was 
 1 not in the leaft out of countenance, or under the leaft 
 ' diforder, tho' unattended by any one, and not feeming 
 
 • to know particularly where to place herfelf. However, 
 ' (he had not in the leaft a confident afpecT, but moved 
 ! on with the moft graceful modeity, every one making 
 
 • way till flie came to a feat juft ovcr-againft that in 
 « which I was placed. The deputy of the ward fat in that 
 ' pew, and (he ftood oppofite to him, and at a glance 
 'into the feat, tho' me did not appear the leaft acquaint- 
 « edwith the gentleman, was let in, with a confufion 
 « thatfpoke much admiration at the novelty of the thing. 
 
 'The 
 
Ii8 THE SPECTATOR. N ^: 
 
 e Thefervice immediately began, and fhecompofed her* 
 ' felf for it with an air of fo much goodnefs and fweet- 
 
 * nefs,that the confeffion, which (he uttered fo as to be 
 ' heard where I fat, appeared an act of humiliation more 
 ' than fhe had occafion for. The truth is, her beauty 
 ' had fomething fo innocent, and yet fo fublime, that 
 e we all gazed upon her like a phantom. None of the 
 ' pictures which we behold of the belt Italian painters, 
 
 * have any thing like the fpirit which appeared in her 
 ' countenance, at the different fentiments expreffed in 
 
 * the feveral parts of divine fervice: that gratitude and 
 4 joy at a thankfgiving, that lowlinefs and forrow at the 
 e prayers for the fick and diftreffed, that triumph at the 
 'paffages which gave inftances of the divine mercy, 
 ' which appeared refpectively in her afpect, will be in 
 
 * my memory to my laft hour. I proteft to yon, Sir, (he 
 ' fufpended the devotion of every one around her ; and 
 
 * the eafe fhe did every thing with, foon difperfed the 
 
 * churlifh diflike and hefitation in approving what is ex- 
 4 cellent, too frequent amongft us, to a general attenti- 
 on and entertainment in obferving her behaviour. 
 
 * All the while that we were gazing at her, flie took no- 
 ' tice of no object about her, but had an art of feerning 
 4 aukwardly attentive, whatever elfe her eyes were acci- 
 
 * dentally thrown upon. One thing indeed wasparticu- 
 4 lar, fhe ftood the whole fervice, and never kneeled or 
 4 fat : I do not queftion but that was to fhewherfelf with 
 ' the greater advantage, and fet forth to better grace her 
 4 hands and arms, lifted up with the moft ardent devo- 
 4 tion, and her bofom, the faired that ever was feen, 
 4 bare to obfervation ; while fhe, you muft think, knew 
 4 nothing of the concern fhe gave others, any other than 
 « as an example of devotion, thr.t threw herfelf out, 
 ' without regard to drefs or garment, all contrition, 
 
 < andloofeof all worldly regards, in ecftafy of devotion. 
 « Well, now the organ was to piay a voluntary ; and 
 i fhe was'fo fkilful in mufic, and fo touched with it, that 
 
 < fhe kept time not only with fome motion of her head, 
 i but alfo with a different air in her countenance. 
 « When the mufic was ftrong and bold, fhe looked ex- 
 « alted, but ferious ; when lively and airy, fhe was 
 « fmiling and gracious ; when the notes were more foft 
 
 4 and 
 
No 503. THE SPECTATOR. 119 
 
 and languishing, fhe was kind and full of pity. When 
 fhe had now made it vifible to the whole congregati- 
 on, by her motion and ear, that fhe could dance, and 
 (he wanted now only to inform us that fhe could fing 
 too, when the Pfalm was given out, her voice was di- 
 ftinguifhed above all the reft, or rather people did not 
 exert their own in order to hear her. Never was any 
 heard fo fweer, and fo ftrong. The organift obferved 
 it, and he thought fit to play to her only, and fhe fwel- 
 led every note, when fhe found fhe had thrown us all 
 ont, and had the laft verfe to herfelf in fuch a manner 
 as the whole congregation was intent upon her, in the 
 fame manner as we fee in the cathedrals they are on 
 the perfon who fings alone the anthem. Well, it came 
 at laft to the fermon, and our young lady would not 
 lofe her part in that neither ; for fhe fixed her eye up- 
 on the preacher, and as he faid any thing fhe approv- 
 ed, with one of Charles Mather's fine tables fhe fet 
 down the fentence, at once fhewing her fine hand, the 
 gold pen, her readinefs in writing, and her judgment 
 in choofing what to write. To fum up what I intend 
 by this long and particular account, I mean to appeal 
 to you, whether it is reafonable that fuch a creature as 
 this fhall come from a janty part of the town, arid 
 give herfelf fuch violent airs, to the difturbance of an 
 innocent and inoffenfive congregation, with her fubli- 
 mities. The fact, I affure you, was as I have related ; 
 but I had like to have forgot another very considerable 
 particular. As foon as church was done fhe immedi- 
 ately ftepped out of her pew, and fell into the fineft 
 pitty-patair,forfooth,wonderfully out of countenance, 
 toffing her head up and down, as fhe fwam along the 
 body of the church. I, with feveral others of the inha- 
 bitants, followed her out, and faw her hold up her fan 
 to an hackney-coach at a diftance, who immediately 
 came up to her, arid fhe whipped into it with great 
 nimblenefs, pulled the door with a bowing mien, as 
 if fhe bad been ufed to a better glafs. She faid a- 
 ioud, Ten know where to go, and drove off. By this 
 time the beft of the congregation was at the church- 
 door, and I could hear fome fay, A very fine lady, o- 
 tbers, I'll warrant ye, fiie is no better than fie Jbould 
 
 ' be 2 
 
120 THE SPECTATOR. NO504. 
 
 8 be : and one very wife old lady faid, She ought to have 
 ' been taken up. Mr. Spectator, I think, this matter 
 ' lies wholly before yon : for the offence does not come 
 ' under any law, tho' it is apparent this creature came 
 ' among us only to give herfelf airs, and enjoy her full 
 4 fwing in being admired. I defire you would print this, 
 
 • that fhe may be confined to her own parifh ; for I can 
 
 • allure you there is no attending any thing elfe in a 
 1 place where (he is a novelty. She has been talked of 
 ' among us ever fince under the name of the Phantom : 
 « but I would advife her to come no more; for thore 
 ' is fo ftrong a party made by the women againft her, 
 ' that fhe mufc expect they will not be excelled afecond 
 
 ♦ time in fo outrag'tous a manner, without doing her 
 
 * fome infult. Young women, who alTurne after this 
 ' rate, and affect expofing themfclves to view in con- 
 ' gregationsat theother endof the town, arenot fo mif- 
 ' chievous, becaufe they are rivalled by more of the 
 ' fame ambition, who will not let the reft of the com- 
 ' pany be particular : but in the name of the whole 
 ' congregation where I was, I defire you to keep thefe 
 ' agreeable disturbances out of the city, where fobrie- 
 ' ty of manners is ftill preferved, and all glaring and 
 ' oftentatious behaviour, even in things laudable, d i . - 
 
 * countenanced. I wifh you may never fee the phan- 
 ' torn, and am, 
 
 T S I 'R, Tour moft huniblefervant, 
 
 Ralph Wonder. 
 
 N° 504. Wednefday, OBober 8. 
 
 Lepus tute eS'j et piilpamentum quoer-is. 
 
 Ten Eun. Act. 3. Sc. 1. 
 
 You are a hare yourf elf, an J want dainties, forfooth. 
 
 TT is a great convenience to thofe who want wit to 
 A furnifh outaconverfation,thatthereis Something or 
 other/m all companies where it is wanteddubftitu ted in its 
 
 ftead, 
 
NO 504, THE SPECTATOR. 121 
 
 fiead, which, according to their tafte, does the bufmefs 
 as well. Of this nature is the agreeable paftime in coun- 
 try-halls of crofs-purpofes, queitions and commands, 
 and the like. A little fuperior to thefe are thofe who 
 can play at crambo, orcap verfes. Then above them are 
 fuch as can make verfes, that is, rhyme; and among 
 thofe who have the Latin tongue, fuch as ufe to make 
 what they call golden verfes. Commend me alfo to 
 thofe who have notbrains enough for any of thefe exer- 
 cifes, and yet do not give up their pretenlions to mirth . 
 Thefe can flap you on the back unawares, laugh loud, afk 
 you how you do with a twang on your moulders, fay you 
 are dull to-day, and laugh a voluntary to put you in hu- 
 mour ; not to mention the laborious way among the 
 miner poets, of making things come into fuch and fuch 
 a fhape, as that of an egg, an hand, an ax, or any 
 thing that no-body had ever thought on before for that 
 purpofe, or which would have coft a great deal of pains 
 to accomplifh it if they did. But all thefe methods, tho' 
 they are mechanical, and may be arrived at with the fmal- 
 left capacity, do not ferve an honeft gentleman who 
 wants witforhisordinaryoccafions; thereforeitisabfo- 
 lutelyneceflary that the poor in imagination mould have 
 fomething which maybe ferviceable to them at al! hours 
 upon all common occurrences. That which we call pun- 
 ning is therefore greatly affecled by men of fmail intel- 
 lects. 7'hefe men need not be concerned with you for 
 the whole fentence ; but if they can fay a quaint thing, 
 or bring in a word which founds like any one word you 
 have fpoken to them, they can turn the difcourfe, or 
 diftraci: you fo that you cannot go on,, and by confe- 
 quence if they cannot be as witty as you are, they can 
 hinder your being any wittier than they are. Thus if you 
 talk of a candle, he can deal with you ; and if you alk to 
 help you to fome bread, a punfter mould think himfelf 
 very ill-bred if he did not ; and if he is not as well- 
 bred as yourfelf, he hopes for grains of allowance. If 
 you do not underftand that laft fancy, you mult re- 
 collect that bread is made of grain ; and fo they go on 
 for ever, without poflibility of being cxhaufted. 
 
 THERE are another kind of people of fmail facul- 
 ties, who fupply want of wit with want of breeding ; 
 
 Vol. VII. F and 
 
122 THE SPECTATOR, NO 504. 
 
 and becaufe women are both by nature and education 
 more offended at any thing which is immodeft,than we 
 men are, thefe are ever harping upon things they ought 
 not to allude to, and deal mightily in double meanings. 
 Every one's own obfervation will fuggefl: inflances e- 
 nough of this kind, without my mentioning any ; for 
 your double meaners are difperfed up and down thro' all 
 parts of town or city where there are any to offend, in 
 order to fet off themfelves. Thefe men are mighty 
 loud laughers, and held very pretty gentlemen with the 
 fillier and unbred part of womankind. But above all 
 already mentioned, or any who ever were, or ever can 
 be in the world, the happieft and fureft to be pleafant, 
 are a fort of people whom we have not indeed lately 
 heard much of, and thofe are your biters. 
 
 A BITER is one who tells you a thing you have no | 
 reafon to difbelieve in itfelf, and perhaps has given you, 
 before he bit you, no reafon to difbelieve it for his fay- 
 ing it ; and if you give him credit, laughs in your face, 
 and triumphs that he has deceived you. In a word, a 
 biter is one who thinks you a fool, becaufe you do not 
 think him a knave. This defcription of him one may in- 
 iift upon to be a juft one ; for what elfe but a degree of 
 knavery is it, to depend upon deceit for what you gain 
 of another, be it in point of wit, or intereft, or any 
 thing elfe ? 
 
 THIS way of wit is called biting, by a metaphor 
 taken from beafts of prey, which devour harmlefs and 
 unarmed animals, and look upon them as their food 
 wherever they meet them. The fharpers about town 
 very ingeniouflyunderftood themfelves to be to the un- 
 defigning part of mankind what foxes are to lambs, and 
 therefore ufed the word biting to exprefs any exploit 
 wherein they had over-reached any innocent and inad- 
 vertent man of his purfe. Thefe rafcals of late years have 
 been the gallants of the town, and carried it with a 
 fafhionable haughty air, to the difcouragement of mo 
 defty and all honed arts. Shallow fops, who are go 
 verned by the eye, and admire every thing that ftruts 
 in vogue, took up from the (harpers the phrafe of bit- 
 ing, and ufed it upon all occaflons, either to difown any 
 nonfenfical fluff they mould talk themfelves, or evade 
 
 the 
 
No 504. 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 123 
 
 the force of what was reafonably faid by others. Thus, 
 when one of thefe cunning creatures was entered into a 
 debate with you, whether it was practicable in the pre- 
 fentftate of affairs to accompiiflifuch a proposition, and 
 you thought he had let fall what deftxoyed his fide of the 
 queftion, as foon as you looked with an earneftnefs 
 ready to lay hold of it, he immediately cried, Bite, and 
 you were immediately to acknowlege all that part was 
 in jeft. They carry this to all the extravagance imagi- 
 nable, and if one of thefe witlings knows any particulars 
 which may give authority to what he fays, he is flill the. 
 more ingenious if he impofcs upon your credulity. I re- 
 member a remarkable inftance of this kind. There came 
 up a flirewd young fellow to a plain young man, his 
 countryman, and taking him afide with a grave con- 
 cerned countenance, goes on at this rate : I fee you 
 here, and have you heard nothing out of Yorkshire ?—-- 
 You look fo furprized you could not have heard of it— * 
 and yet the particulars are fuch, that it cannot be falfe : 
 I am fony I am got into it fo far that I now frtufi: tell 
 you ; but I know not but it may be for your fervice to 
 know — on Tuefday laft, juft after dinner — you know 
 his manner is to fmoke, opening his box, your father 
 fell down dead of an apoplexy. The youth fhewed the 
 filial forrow which he ought — Upon which the witty 
 man cried, Bile, there is nothing in all this — 
 
 T O put an end to this filly, pernicious, frivolou? 
 way at once, I will give the reader one late inftance or 
 a bite, which no biter for the future will ever be able 
 to equal, tho' I heartily wifh him the fame occaflon. It 
 is a iuperftition with feme fnrgeons who beg the bodies 
 ■of condemned malefactors, to go to the goal, and bar- 
 gain for the carcafe with the crimi ml himfelf. A good 
 honeft fellow did fo lafl fcfUons, and was admitted to 
 the condemned men on the morning wherein thev died. 
 The furgeon communicated his bufinefs, and fell into 
 difcourfe with a little fellow, who refufed twelve mil- 
 lings, and inilfled upon fifteen for his body. The fel- 
 low, who killed the officer of Newgate, very forwardly, 
 and like a man who was willing to deal, told him, Look 
 you, Mr. Surgeon, that little dry fellow, who has been 
 half-ftavved all his life, and is now half-dead with fear, 
 
 F 2 
 
 can- 
 
I2 4 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. N° 505. 
 
 cannot anfwer your purpofe. I have ever lived highly 
 and freely, my veins are full, I have not pined in im- 
 prilonment ; you fee my crell fwells to your knife, and 
 after Jack-Catch has done, upon my honour you will 
 find me as found as ever a bullock in any of the mar- 
 kets. Come, for twenty (hillings I am your man — 
 
 Says the Surgeon, Done, there is a guinea This 
 
 witty rogue took the money, and as foon as he had it 
 in his fift, cries Bite, .1 dm to be kanged in chains. T 
 
 N 
 
 O -, 
 
 My 
 
 Thurfday, OBober 9. 
 
 Non habeo denique nauci Marfum augurem, 
 Nonvicanos arufpices, non tie circo aftrologos, 
 Non Ijiacos conjetlores, non irkerpretes /omnium : 
 Non enim fiint ii, aut fcientia, aut arte'diviui, 
 SedfMperfiitir.fi vates, impudent ef que harioli, 
 Aut inert es, aut nifani, aut quibus egejlas imperat : 
 Qui fui quejlus caufa fields fufcitam t feu tent i as. 
 Qui fibifemiiam non fapiunt , alien monftrcntt viam, 
 Quibus divitias pollicentur, ab lis drachm am petunt : 
 De divitiis deducant drachma/::, reddaut caetera. 
 
 Ennius. 
 Augurs, and foothfayers, aftrdogers, 
 Diviners, and interpreters of dreams, 
 I ne'er confult, and heartily defpife : 
 Vain their pretence to more than human /kill : 
 For gain imaginary fch ernes they draw : 
 Wanderers themfeives, they guide another 's fleps ; 
 And for poor /ixpence promife count lefs wealth : 
 Lei them, if they expecl to be believ'd, 
 Deducl the /ixpence, and beftoiu the reft. 
 
 HOSE who have maintained that men would be 
 more miferable than beads, were their hopes 
 confined to this life only, among other consi- 
 derations take notice that the latter are only aiHicled 
 with the anguilh of theprefent evil, whereas the former 
 are very often pained by the reHedion on what is palled, 
 
 • and 
 
7X0 s°S- THE SPECTATOR. 125 
 
 and the fear of what is to come. This fear of any fu- 
 ture difficulties or misfortunes is fo natural to the mind, 
 that were a man's ibrrows and difquietudes fummedup 
 at the end of his life, it would generally be found that 
 he had furlered more from the apprehenhon of fuch 
 evils as never happened to him, than from thole evils 
 which had really befallen him. To this we may add, 
 that among thofe evils which befal us, there are ma- 
 ny that have been more painful to us in the profpecl, 
 than by their actual pretfure. 
 
 THIS natural impatience to look into futurity, and 
 to know what accidents may happen to us hereafter, 
 has given birth to many ridiculous arts and inventions. 
 Some found the prefcience on the lines of a man's hand, 
 others on the features of his face ; fome on the figna- 
 tures which nature has impreffed on his body, and o- 
 thers on his own hand-writing : fome read mens for- 
 tunes in the ftars, as others have fearched after them 
 in the entrails of beafts, or the flights of birds. Men 
 of the bell fenfe have been touched more or lefs with 
 thefe groundlefs horrors and prefages of futurity, up- 
 on furveying the moft indifferent works of nature. Can 
 any thing be more furprizing than to confider Cicero, 
 who made the greater! figure at the bar, and in the fe- 
 nate of the Roman commonwealth, and, at the fame 
 time, out-fhined all the philofophers of antiquity in 
 his library and in his retirements, as bufying himfelf 
 in the college of augurs, and obferving with a religious 
 attention, after what manner the chickens pecked the 
 feveral grains of corn which were thrown to them ? 
 
 NOTWITHSTANDING thefe follies are pretty 
 well worn out of the minds of the wife and learned in 
 the prefent age, multitudes of weak and ignorant per- 
 fons are Mill flaves to them. There are numberlefs arts 
 of prediction among the vulgar, which are too trifling 
 to enumerate ; and infinite obfervations, of days, num- 
 bers, voices, and figures, which are regarded by them 
 as portents and prodigies. In fhort, every thing pro- 
 phefies to the fnperftitious man ; there is fcarce a ftraw 
 or a rufty piece of iron that lies in his way by accident. 
 
 IT is not to be conceived how many wizards, gipfies, 
 
 and cunning-men are difperfed thro' all the countries 
 
 F 3 and 
 
126 THE SPECTATOR. N° 505. 
 
 and market-towns of Great-Britain, not to mention the 
 fortune-tellers and aftrologers, who live very comfor- 
 tably upon the cnriofity of feveral well-difpofed per- 
 fons in the cities of London and Weltminfter. 
 
 AMONG the many pretended arts of divination, 
 there is none which fo univerfally amnfes as that by 
 dreams. I have indeed obferved in a late fpeculation,. 
 that there have been fometimcs, upon very extraordi- 
 nary occafions, fupernatural revelations made to cer- 
 tain perfons by this means ; but as it is the chief bu- 
 finefs of this paper to root out popular errors, I muff, 
 endeavour to expole the folly and fuperftition of 
 thofe perfons, who, in the common and ordinary 
 courfe of life, lay any ftrefs upon things of fo uncertain, 
 ihadowy, and chimerical a nature. This I cannot do 
 more effectually than by the following letter, which is- 
 dated from a quarter cf the town that has always been 
 the habitation of fome prophetic Philomath ; it hav- 
 ing been ufuai time out of mind for all fuch people as 
 have lolt their wits, to refort to that place either for 
 their cure or for their inftruction. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, M-jrefields, OB. 4, 1712=. 
 
 * T IfAVITSG long considered whether there be any 
 i 3- JL trade wanting in this great city, after having 
 
 * fnrveyed very attentively all kinds of ranks and pro-* 
 i feffions, I do not find in any quarter of the town an 
 ' oneirocritic, or, in plain Englifh, an interpreter of 
 
 * dreams. For want of fo ufeful a perfon, there are 
 ' feveral good people who are very much puzzled in 
 ' this particular, and dream a whole year together 
 i without being ever the wifer for it. I hope I am 
 ' pretty well qualified for this office, having ftudied by 
 
 * candlelight all the rules of art which have been laid 
 ' down upon this fubjedr. My great uncle by my 
 
 * wife's lide was a Scotch Highlander, and fecond- 
 ' lighted. I have four fingers and two thumbs upon- 
 ' one hand, and was born on the longefl: night of the 
 ' year. My chriftian and fir-name begin and end with 
 
 * the fame letters. I am lodged in Morefields, in a 
 
 * houfe that for thefe fifty years has been always ten- 
 
 * anted by a conjurer* 
 
 < IF 
 
No 505. THE SPECTATOR. 127 
 
 ' IF you had been in company, fo much as myfelf, 
 ■with ordinary women of the town, you mnft know 
 that there are many of them who every day in their 
 lives, upon feeing or hearing of any thing that is un- 
 expected, cry, My dream is out ; and cannot go to 
 fleep in quiet the next night, till fomething or other 
 has happened which has expounded the virions of 
 the preceding one. There are others who are in 
 very great pain for not being able, to recover the 
 circumftances of a dream, that made ftrong imprel- 
 fions upon them while it laired. In fhort, Sir, there 
 are many whofe waking thoughts are wholly employ- 
 ed on their fleeping ones. For the benefit therefore of 
 this curious and inquifitive part of my fellow-fub- 
 je&s, I (hall in the firfl: place tell thofe perfons what 
 they dreamed of, who fancy they never dream at all. 
 In the next place, I (hall, make out any dream, up- 
 on hearing a fingle circumftance of it ; and in 
 the laft place, (hall expound to them the good or bad 
 fortune which fuch dreams portend. If they do not 
 prefage good luck," I (hall defire nothing for my 
 pains ; not queftioning at the fame time that thofe 
 who confult me will be fo reafonable as to afford me 
 a moderate (hare out of any considerable eftate, pro- 
 fit, or emolument which I fhali difcover to them. I 
 interpret to the poor for nothing, on condition 
 that their names may be inferted in public advertife- 
 ments, to atteft the truth of fuch my interpretations. 
 As for people of quality or others who are indifpof- 
 ed, and do not care to come in perfon, I can inter- 
 pret their dreams by feeing their water. I fet alide 
 one day in the week for lovers ; and interpret by 
 the great for any gentlewoman who is turned of lix- 
 ty, after the rate of half a crown per week, with the 
 ufual allowances for good luck. I have feveral rooms 
 and apartments fitted up, at reafonable rates, for 
 fuch as have not conveniencies for dreaming at their 
 own houfes. 
 
 Tiii'.s Trophonius. 
 ■ N. B. < I AM not dumb. O 
 
 F 4 Friday, 
 
J28 THE SPECTATOR. N° 506. 
 
 N° 506. Friday, Oftoher 10. 
 
 Candida perpetuo refide, Concordia, leclo, 
 
 Tamque pari fcmper jit Venus aeqita jugo. 
 Diligat iila fenem quondam : fed et ipfa marl to , 
 Tunc quoque cum fieri t, nbn vide at ur anus . 
 
 Mart. Epig. 13. 1. 4. v. 7, 
 Perpetual harmony their bed attend, 
 And Venus fill the -well-match y d pair befriend. 
 Mayjhe, -when time has funk him into years. 
 Love her old man, and cherifb his white hairs ; 
 Nor he perceive her charms thro' age decay, 
 But think each happy fun his bridal day. 
 
 HE following efFay is written by the gentle- 
 man, to whom the world is obliged for thofe 
 feveral excellent difcourfes which have been 
 marked with the letter X. 
 
 T HAVE fomewhere met with a fable that made 
 X Wealth the father of Love. It is certain, that a 
 mind ought^ at least, to be free from the apprehenfi- 
 ons of want and poverty, before it can fully attend to 
 all the foftnelfes and endearments of this paffion. 
 Notwithstanding we fee multitudes of married people, 
 who are utter strangers to this delightful paflion amidst 
 all the affluence of the mod plentiful fortunes. 
 
 IT is not fufficient to make a marriage happy, that 
 the humours of two people mould be alike ; I could 
 instance an hundred pair, who have not the-leafl fen- 
 timent of love remaining for one another, yet are (o 
 like in their humours, that if" they were not already 
 married, the whole world would design them for man 
 and wife. 
 
 THE fpirit of love has fomething fo extremely fine 
 in it, that it is very often disturbed and loft, by fome 
 little accidents which the carelefs and unpolite never 
 attend to, till it is gone paft recovery. 
 
 NO- 
 
N° 5 o6. THE SPECTATOR. 129 
 
 NOTHING has more contributed to banifli it from 
 a married (late, than too great a familiarity, and lay- 
 ing ahde the common rules of decency. Tho' I could 
 give inftances of this in feveral particulars, I (hall only 
 mention that of drefs. The beaus and belles about 
 town, who drefs purely to catch one another, think 
 there is no farther occaiion for the bait, when their 
 firft defign has fucceeded. But befides the too com- 
 mon fault in point of neatnefs, there are feveral others 
 which I do not remember to have feen touched upon, 
 but in one of our modern comedies, where a French 
 woman offering to undrefs and drefs herfelf before the 
 lover of the play, and affuring her miftrefs that it was 
 very ufual in France, the lady tells her that is a fecret 
 in drefs (he never knew before, and that (he was fo 
 unpoliflied an Englifh woman, as to refolve never to 
 learn to drefs even before her huiband. 
 
 THERE is fomething fo grofs in the carriage of 
 fome wives, that they lofe their huhbands hearts for 
 faults, which, if a man has either good-nature or good- 
 breeding, he knows not how to teli them of. I am a- 
 fraid, indeed, the ladies are generally mod; faulty in 
 this particular ; who, at their firft giving into love, 
 find the way fo fmooth and pleafant, that they fancy 
 it is fcarce poffible to be tired in it. 
 
 THERE is fo much nicety and difcretion required 
 to keep love alive after marriage, and make converi~a° 
 tion (fill new and agreeable after twenty or thirty years, 
 that I know nothing which feems readily to proraife 
 it, but an earneft endeavour to pleafe on both (Ides, 
 and fuperior good {en.i'e on the part of the man. 
 
 BY a man of fenfe, I mean one acquainted with bu- 
 finefs and letters. 
 
 A WOMAN very much fettles her efteem for a man, 
 according to the figure he makes in the world, and the 
 character he bears among his own fex. As learning 
 is the chief advantage we have over them, it is, me- 
 thinks, as fcandalous and inexcusable for a man of 
 fortune to be illiterate, as for a woman not to know 
 how to behave herfelf on the moft ordinary occalions. 
 It is this which fet? the two fexes at the gre-.teft di- 
 ftance ; ? woman u' vexed and fnrptized, to find no- 
 F 5 thin a 
 
jga THE SPECTATOR. N© 506. 
 
 thing more in the convcrfation of a man, than in the 
 common tattle of her own fex. 
 
 SOME fmall engagement at ieaft in bufinefs, not 
 only fets a man's talents in the faireft light, and allots 
 him a part to act, in which a wife cannot well inter- 
 meddle ; but gives frequent occafion-s for thofe little 
 abfences, which, whatever feeming uneafmefs they 
 may give, are fome of the beft prefervatives of love 
 and defire. 
 
 T H E fair fex are fo confcious to themfelves, that 
 they have nothing in them which can deferve intirely 
 to ingrofs the whole man, that they heartily defpife 
 one, who, to ufe their own expreffion, is always 
 hanging at their apron-ftrings. 
 
 LA EXIT I A is pretty, mcdeft, tender, and has 
 fenfe enough ; fhe married Eraftus, who is in a poft 
 of fome bulinefs, and has a general tafte in moll parts ; 
 of polite learning. Laetitia, whefe-ever fhe vifils, 
 has the pleafure to hear of fomething which was hand- 
 fotnly faid or done by Eraftus. Eraftus, fiitce his mar- 
 riage, is more gay in his drefs than ever, and in ail 
 companies is as complaifant to Laetitia as to any other 
 lady. I have feen him give her her fan, when it has 
 dropped, with all the gallantry of a lover. When 
 they take the air together, Eraftus is continually im- 
 proving her thoughts, and, with a turn of wit andfpirit 
 which is peculiar to him, giving her an infight into 
 things fhe had no notions of before. Laetitia is trans- 
 ported at having a new world thus opened to her, and 
 hangs upon the man that gives her fuch agreeable in- 
 formations. Eraftus has carried this point ftill further, 
 as he makes her daily not only more fond of him, but 
 infinitely more fatisiled with herfelf. Eraftus finds a 
 juftntjfs or beauty in whatever fhe fays or obferves, 
 that Laetitia herfelf was not aware of; and, by his af- 
 fiftance, fhe has difcovered an hundred good qualities 
 and accomplishments in herfelf, which fhe never be- 
 fore once dreamed of. Eraftus, with the moft artful 
 eomplaifance in the world, by feveral remote hints, 
 finds the means to make her fay or propofe almoft 
 whatever he has a mind to, which he always receives 
 
^o 5 o6. THE SPECTATOR. 13! 
 
 as her own difcovery, and gives her all the reputation 
 of it. 
 
 ERASTUS has a perfect tafte in painting, and car- 
 ried Laetitia with him the other day to fee a colle&i- 
 on of pictures I fometimes vifit this happy couple. 
 As we were laft week walking in the long gallery be- 
 fore dinner, I have lately laid out fame money in paint- 
 ings fays Eraftus ; / bcv.gbt that Venus and Adonis 
 purely upon Laetitia' 's judgment ; it coft me three/core 
 guineas, and J was this morning offered a hundred for it. 
 I turned towards Laetitia, and faw her cheeks glow 
 with pleafure, while at the fame time fhe call: a look 
 upon Eraftus, the moft tender and affectionate I ever 
 beheld. 
 
 FLAVILLA married Tom Tawdry ; fhe was taken 
 with his laced coat and rich fword-knot • fhe has the 
 mortification to fee Tom defpifed by all the worthy 
 part of his own fex. Tom has nothing to do after 
 dinner, but to determine whether he will pair his nails 
 at St. James's, White's, or his own houfe. He has 
 faid nothing to Flavilla fince they were married, which 
 fhe might not have heard as well from her own woman. 
 He however takes great care to keep up the faucy ill- 
 natured authority of ahufband. Whatever Flavilla hap- 
 pens to affert, Tom immediately contradicts with an 
 oath by way of preface, and, My dear, I miift telly ou, 
 you talk moft confoundedly filly. Flavilla had a heart 
 naturally as well difpofed for all the tendernefs of love 
 as that of Laetitia ; but as love feldom continues long 
 after efteem, it is difficult to determine, at prefect, 
 whether the unhappy Flavilla hates or defpifes the 
 perfon moft, whom fhe is obliged to lead her whole 
 life with. X 
 
 Saturn 
 
 :1 
 
132 THE SPECTATOR. N°£0/. 
 
 N° 507. Saturday, CBobern. 
 
 Defe/.dit numerus, junilaeque umbone phalanges . 
 
 Juv. Sat. 2. v. 46. 
 Numbers confpire to patronize the crime. 
 
 THERE is Something very fublime, tho' very 
 fanciful, in Plato's description of the fupreme 
 Being, That truth is his body, and light his 
 fhadow. According to th's definition, there is nothng 
 fo contradictory to his nature, as error and falfhood. 
 The Platonifts have fo juft a notion of the Almighty's 
 averfion to every thing which is ialfe and erroneous, 1 
 that they looked upon truth as no lefs neceiTary than 
 virtue, to qualify a human foul for the enjoyment of a 
 feparate ltate. For this reafon as they recommended 
 moral duties to qualify and feafon the will for a future 
 life, fo they prefcribed feveral contemplations and 
 fciences to rectify the underrtanding. Thus Plato has 
 called mathematical demonilrations the cathartics or 
 purgatives of the foul, as being the mod proper means 
 to cleanfe it from error, and to give it a relifh of 
 truth ; which is the natural food and nourishment of 
 the underftanding, as virtue is the perfection and hap- 
 pinefs of the will. 
 
 THERE are Kiany authors who have ihewn where- 
 in the malignity of a iye confifts, and fet forth, in pro- 
 per colours, the heinoufnefs of the offence. I fha'i 
 here confidcr one particular kind of this crime, which 
 has not been fo much fpoken to ; I mean that abomi- 
 nable pracTice of party-lying. This vice is fo very 
 predominant among us at prefent, that a man is 
 thought of no principles , who does not propagate a 
 ce/ta;nfyftem of lies. The coffee-houfes are Supported 
 by them, the prefs is choked with th?m, eminent au- 
 thors live upon them, Our bottle-converfation is fo 
 infected with them, that a party-lye is grown as faftii- 
 onabie an entertainment, as a lively catch or a merry 
 ftory : the truth of it \i, half the great talkers in the 
 nation would be (truck dumb, were this fountain of 
 
 dif- 
 
K c 507. THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 133 
 
 difcourfe dried up. There is however one advantage 
 refulting from this deteftable practice ; the very ap- 
 pearances of -truth are fo little regarded, that lies are 
 at preient difcharged in the air, and begin to hurt no- 
 body. When we hear a party-ftory from a ft r anger ? 
 we conflder whether he is a whig or a tory that relates 
 it, and immediately conclude they are words of courfe, 
 in which the honelt gentleman defigns to recommend 
 his zeal, without' any concern for his veracity. A 
 man is looked upon as bereft of common fenfe, that 
 gives credit to the relations of party-writers ; nay, his 
 own friends (hake their heads at him, and conllder 
 him in no other light than as an officious tool, or a 
 well-meaning idiot. When it was formerly the fafhicn 
 to hufband a lye, and trump it up in fome extraordi- 
 nary emergency, it generally did execution, and was 
 not a little ferviceable to the faction that made ufe of 
 it ; but at prefent every man is upon his guard, the 
 artifice has been too often repeated to take effect. 
 
 I HAVE frequently wondered to fee men of probi- 
 ty, who would fcorn to utter a falfhood for their own 
 particular advantage, give fo readily into a lye when it 
 becomes the voice of their faction, notwithflanding 
 they are thoroughly fenlible of it as fuch. How is it 
 poiTiblc for thofe who are men or honour in their per- 
 fons, thus to become notorious liars in their party ? 
 If we look into the bottom of this matter, we may find, 
 I think, three reafons for it, and at the fame time dis- 
 cover the infufficiency of thefe reafons to juftify fo cri- 
 minal a practice. 
 
 I N the firft place, men are apt to think that the 
 guilt of a lye, and confequently the puniflrment, may 
 be very much diminifhed, if not wholly worn out, by 
 the multitudes of thofe who partake in it. Tho' the 
 weight of a fallhood would be too heavy for one to bear, 
 it grows light in their imaginations, when it is fhared 
 among many. But in this cafe a man very much de- 
 ceives himfelf ; guilt, when it fpreads thro' numbers, 
 is not fo properly divided as multiplied : every One is 
 criminal in proportion to the offence which he com- 
 mits, not to the number of thofe who are his compa- 
 nions in it. Both the crime and the penalty lie as heavy 
 
 upon 
 
134. THE SPECTATOR. NO507. 
 
 upon every individual of an offending multitude, as 
 they would upon any fingle perfon had none fhared 
 with him in the offence. In a word, the divifion of 
 guilt is like to that of matter ; tho' it may be feparat- 
 edinto infinite portions, every portion lhall have the 
 whole effence of matter in it, and confift of as many 
 parts as the whole did before it was divided. 
 
 BUT in the fecond place, tho' multitudes, who join 
 in a lye, cannot exempt themfelves from the guilt, they 
 may from the fhame of it. The fcandal ©f a lye is in 
 a manner loft and annihilated, when diftufed among 
 feveral thoufands ; as a drop of the blacked tincture 
 wears away and vanifhes, when mixed and confufed in 
 a confiderable body of water ; the blot is ftill in it, 
 but is not able to difcover itfelf. This is certainly a 
 very great motive to feveral party-offenders, who a- 
 void crimes, not as they are prejudicial to their vir- 
 tue, but to their reputation. It is enough to fhew the 
 weaknefs of this reafon, which palliates guilt without 
 removing it, that every man who is influenced by it 
 declares himfelf in effect an infamous hypocrite, pre- 
 fers the appearance of virtue to its reality, and is de- 
 termined in his conduct neither by the dictates of his 
 own confcience, the fuggeftions of true honour, nor 
 the principles of religion. 
 
 THE third and laft great motive for mens joining 
 in a popular falfhood, or, as I have hitherto called 
 it, a party-lye, notwithstanding they are convinced 
 of it as fuch, is the doing good to acaufe which every 
 party may be fuppofed to look upon as the moll meri- 
 torious. The unfoundnef9 of this principle has been 
 fo often expofed, and is fo univerfally acknowleged, 
 that a man muft be an utter ftranger to the principles, 
 either of natural religion or .Chriftianity, who fuffers 
 himfelf to be guided by it. If a man might promote 
 the fuppofed good of his country by the blacken calum- 
 nies and falfhoods, our nation abounds more in patri- 
 ots than any other of the Chriftian world. When 
 Pompey was defired not to fet fail in a tempeft that 
 would hazard his life, It is necejfary for me, fays he, 
 to fail, but it is not necejfary for me to live : every man 
 mould fay to himfelf, with the fame fpirit, It is my 
 
 duty 
 
N0 5 o& THE SPECTATOR, 135 
 
 duty to fpeak truth, tho' it is not my duty to be hi art 
 office One of the fathers hath carried this point io 
 hioh," as to declare, He would not tell a lye, though he 
 •were Cure to gain heaven by it. However extravagant 
 fuch a protection may appear, every one will own, 
 that a man may fay very reafonably, He would not tell 
 a lye, if he were fare to gain hell by it ; or if you have 
 a mind to foften the expreffion, that he would not tell 
 a lye to gain any temporal reward by it, when he 
 (hould run the hazard of lofmg much more than it was 
 pofiible for him to gain. ° 
 
 N° 508. Monday, OBob er 13. 
 
 Omnes dutem et habentnr et dicuntur tyranni, qui po- 
 teftate funt perpetua, in ea civitate quae libertate 
 ufa eft. Corn. IS'epos in Milt. c. 8. 
 
 Now all are accounted and called tyrants, who are in- 
 veiled with power for life, in a jiate which formerly 
 enjoyed liberty, . 
 
 ^"If^HE following letters complain of what I have 
 
 I frequently obferved with very much indignatri- 
 
 JL on ; therefore I fhaltgive them to the public in 
 
 the words, with which my correfpondents, who fufFer 
 
 under the hardfliips mentioned in them, defcribe them. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 * Y N former ages, all pretentions to dominion have 
 ' X been fuppor ted and fbbmitted to, either upon ac- 
 ' count of inheritance, conqueft, or election ; and all 
 ' fuch perfons who have taken upon them any fove- 
 ' reignty over their fellow-creatures upon any other 
 ' account, have been always called tyrants, net fo 
 
 * much beemfe they were guilty of any particular bar-^ 
 
 * barities,as becaufe every attempt to fuch a fuperiori- 
 ' ty was in its nature tyrannical. But there is an- 
 ' other fort of potentates, who may with greater pro- 
 ' priety be called tyrants, than thofe laft mentioned, 
 
 « both 
 
t$6 THE SPECTATOR. N° joS. 
 
 both as they afTume a defpotic dominion over thofe 
 as free as thernfelves, and as they fupport it by acts 
 of notable oppreflion and injuftice ; and thefe are 
 the rules in all clubs and meetings. In other govern- 
 ments, the punifhments of fome have been alleviat- 
 ed by the rewards of others ; but what makes the 
 reign of thefe potentates lb particularly grievous, is, 
 that they are exquilite in punifhing their fubjedts, at 
 the fame time they have it not in their power to re- 
 ward them. That the reader may the better compre- 
 hend the nature of thefe monarchs, as well as the 
 miferable ftate of thofe that are their vaifals, I (hall 
 give an account of the king of the company I am 
 fallen into, whom, for his particular tyranny, I 
 fhall call Dionyflus ; as alfo of the feeds that fprung 
 up to this odd fort of empire. 
 
 'UPON all meetings at taverns, it is necelfary 
 fome one of the company mould take it upon him to 
 get all things in fuch order and readinefs, as may 
 contribute as much as poffible to the felicity of the 
 convention ; fuch as haftening the fire, getting a 
 fufficient number of candles, tailing the wine with a 
 judicious fmack, fixing the fbpper, and being briik 
 for the difpatch of it. Know then, that Dionyfius 
 went thro' thefe offices with an air that feemed to ex- 
 prefs a fatisfaclion rather in ferving the public, than 
 in gratifying any particular inclination of his own. 
 We thought himaperfon of an exquifite palate, and 
 therefore by confent befeeched him to be always our 
 proveditor ; which poll, after he had handfomly de- 
 nied, he could do no otherwife than accept. At 
 firft he made no other ufe of his power, than in re- 
 commending fuch and fuch things to the company, 
 ever allowing thefe points to be difputable ; info- 
 much that I have often carried the debate for par- 
 tridge, when his majeflyhas given intimation of the 
 high relifh of duck, but at the fame time has chear- 
 fully fubmitted, and devoured his partridge with mod 
 gracious refignation. This fubmiffion on his fide 
 naturally produced the like on ours ; of which he, in 
 a little time, made fuch barbarous advantage, as in 
 all thofe matters, which before feemed indifferent to 
 
 1 him, 
 
N°5o8. THE SPECTATOR. 137 
 
 him, to iffiie out certain edi<£ts as uncontroulable and 
 unalterable as the laws of the Medes and Perfians. 
 He is by turns outragious, peevifh, froward, and jo- 
 vial. He thinks it our duty for the little offices, as 
 proveditor, that in return all converfation is to be 
 interrupted or promoted by his inclination for or 
 againft the prefent humour of the company. We 
 feel, at prefent, in the utmoft extremity, the info- 
 lence of office; however, I, being naturally warm, 
 ventured to oppole him in a difpute about a haunch 
 of venifon. I was altogether for rolling, but Diony- 
 fius declared himfelf for boiling with fo much prowefs 
 and refolution, that the cook thought it necefTary to 
 confult his own fafety, rather than the luxury of my 
 propofition. With the fame authority that he orders 
 what we (hall eat and drink, he alfo commands us 
 whereto do it, and we change our taverns accord- 
 ing as he fufpedts any treafonable practices in the 
 fettling the bill by the mafter, or fees any bold re- 
 bellion in point of attendance by the waiters. An- 
 other reafon for changing the feat of empire, I con- 
 ceive to be the pride he takes in the promulgation of 
 our flavery, tho' we pay our club for our entertain- 
 ments even in thefe palaces of our grand monarch. 
 When he has a mind to take the air, a party of us 
 ard commanded out by way of life-guard, and we 
 march under as great reftrielions as they do. If we 
 meet a neighbouring king, we give or keep the way 
 according as we are out-numbered or not ; and if 
 the train of each is equal in number, rather than give 
 battle, the fuperiority is foon adjufted by a defer- 
 tion from one of them. 
 
 ' NOW, the expulMon of thefe unjuft rulers out of 
 all focieties would gain a man as everlafting a repu- 
 tation, as either of the Brutufes got from their en- 
 deavours to extirpate tyranny from among the Ro- 
 mans. I confefs myfelf to be in a confpiracy againft 
 the ufurper of our club ; and to fhew my reading, 
 as well as my merciful difpofition, (hall allow him 
 'till the ides of March, to dethrone himfelf. If he 
 feems to afFeel: empire 'till that time, and does not 
 gradually recede from the incuriions he has made 
 
 * upon 
 
i 3 8 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 No 508. 
 
 upon our liberties, he {hall find a dinner drefted which 
 he has no hand in, and {hall be treated with an order, 
 magnificence, and luxury as {hall break his proud 
 heart ; at the fame time that he {hall be convinced in. 
 his ftomach he was unfit for his poft, and a more 
 mild and fkilful prince receive the acclamations 
 of the people, and be fet up in his room : but, as 
 Milton fays, 
 
 ' Thefe thoug kts 
 
 * Full counfel muft mature. Peace is defpaWd, 
 
 * And who can think /libmi/Iion ? War y then, ivar t 
 ' Open, or underftood, ytufi be refolv^d. 
 
 I am, S I R, 
 
 Your raoft obedient humble fervant. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 A M a young woman at a gentleman's feat in the 
 country, who is a particular friend of my fa- 
 ther's, and came hither to pafs away a month or 
 two with his daughters. I have been entertained 
 with the utrnoft civility by the whole family, and 
 nothing has been omitted which can make my flay 
 eafy and agreeable on the part of the family \ but 
 there is a gentleman here, a vifitant as I am, whofe 
 behaviour has given me great uneafinenes. When I 
 firft arrived here, he ufed me with the utmoft com- 
 plaifance ; but, forfooth, that was not with regard 
 to my fex, and fiuce he has no deligns upon me, he 
 does not know why he fhould diftinguifh me from a 
 man in things indifferent. He is, you muft know, 
 one of thofe familiar coxcombs, who have obferved 
 fome well-bred men, with a good grace, converfe 
 with women, and fay no fine things, but yet treat 
 them with that fort of refpect which flows from the 
 heart and the underftanding, but is exerted in no 
 profeflions of compliments. This puppy, to imi- 
 tate this excellence, or avoid the contrary fault of 
 being troublefome in complaifance, takes upon him 
 to try his talent upon me, infomuch that he contra- 
 dicts me upon all occafions, and one day told me I 
 lied. If I had ftuck him with my bodkin, and be- 
 
 ' haved 
 
N°5oo. 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 139' 
 
 haved myfelf like a m<in, fince he will not treat me 
 as a woman, I had, I think, ferved him right. 1 wifh, 
 Sir, you would pleafe to give him fome maxims of 
 behaviour in thefe points, and refolve me if all maids 
 are not in point of converfation to be treated by all 
 bachelors as their miilreffes ? if not fo, are they not 
 to be ufed as gently as their filters ? Is it fufFerable, 
 that the fop, of whom I complain, fhould fay, as he 
 would rather have fuch-a-one without a groat, than 
 me with the Indies ? What right has any man to 
 make fuppofitions of things not in his power, and 
 then declare his will to the diilike of one that has ne- 
 ver offended him ? I affure you thefe are things wor- 
 thy your confideration, and I hope we fhall have 
 your thoughts upon them. I am, tho' a woman jufl- 
 ly offended, ready to forgive all this, becaufe I have 
 no remedy but leaving very agreeable company foon- 
 er than I deiire. This alfo is an heinous aggravation 
 of his offence, that he is inflicfing banifhment upon 
 me. Your printing this letter may perhaps be an ad- 
 monition to reform him : as foon as it appears I will 
 write my name at the end of it, and lay it in his 
 way; the making which juft reprimand, I hope you 
 will put in the power of, 
 
 SIR, Tour conjlant reader, 
 
 T and humble ferv ant. 
 
 N° 509. Tuefday, OBober 14. 
 
 Homiuis frugl et temper antis funBus officium. 
 
 Ter. Heaut. Aft. 3. Sc. 3. 
 
 Difcharging the part of a good oeconomifl. 
 
 l HE ufeful knowlege in the following letter fhall 
 have a place in my paper, tho' there is nothing 
 in it which immediately regards the polite or 
 the learned world ; I fay immediately, for upon re- 
 £e<5tion every man will find there is a remote influence 
 
 upon-. 
 
14° 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. NO 509. 
 
 upon his own affairs, in the profperity or decay of the 
 trading part of mankind. My prefent correfpondent, 
 I believe, was never in print before ; but what he fays 
 well deferves a general attention, tho' delivered in his 
 own homely maxims, and a kind of proverbial fim- 
 plicity ; which fort of learning has raifed moreeftates 
 than ever were, or will be, from attention to Virgil, 
 Horace, Tully, Seneca, Plutarch, or any of the reft, 
 whom, I dare fay, this worthy citizen would hold to 
 be indeed ingenious, but unprofitable writers. But 
 to the letter. 
 
 Mr. William Spectator. 
 
 SIR, Broadftreet, Oft. 10. 1712. 
 
 ACCUSE you of many difcourfes on the fubject 
 
 of money, which you have heretofore promifed 
 the public, but have not difcharged yourfelf thereof. 
 But, forafmuch as you feemed to depend upon ad- 
 vice from others what to do in that point, have fat 
 down to write you the needful upon that fubject. 
 But, before I enter thereupon, I fhall take this op- 
 portunity to obferve to you, that the thriving fru- 
 gal man fhews it in every part of his expence, drefs, 
 fervants, and houfe ; and I muff in the firft place, 
 complain to you, as Spectator, that in thefe par- 
 ticulars there is at this time, throughout the city of 
 London, a lamentable change from that fimplicity 
 of manners, which is the true fource of wealth and 
 profperity. I juft now faid, the man of thrift fhews 
 regularity in every thing ; but, you may, perhaps, 
 laugh that I take notice of fuch a particular as I am 
 going to do, for an inftance that this city is declin- 
 ing, if their antient oeconomy is not reftored. The 
 thing which gives me this profpeft, and fo much 
 offence, is the neglect of the Royal-Exchange, I 
 mean the edifice fo called, and the walks appertain- 
 ing thereunto. The Royal-Exchange is a fabric that 
 well deferves to be fo called, as well to exprefs that 
 our monarchs higheft glory and advantage confifts 
 in being the patrons of trade, as that it is commo- 
 dious for bufinefs, and an inftance of the grandeur 
 
 1 both 
 
N° 509. THE SPECTATOR. 14I 
 
 ' both of prince and people. But, alas ! at prefent 
 *■ it hardly fecms to be fet apart for any filch ufe or 
 purpofe. Inftead of the aflembly of honourable mer- 
 chants, fubftantial tradefmen, and knowing matters 
 offhips; the mumpers, the halt, the blind, and the 
 lame ; your venders of trafh, apples, plumbs ; your 
 raggamuffins, rakefhames, and wenches, have juft- 
 led the greater number of the former out of that 
 place. Thus it is,efpecially on the evening-change : 
 fo that what with the din of fquallings, oaths, and 
 cries of beggars, men of the greateft confequence in 
 our city abfent themfelves from the place. This 
 particular, by the way, is of evil confequence ; for 
 if the Change be no place for men of thehigheft cre- 
 dit to frequent, it will not be a difgrace to thofe of 
 lefs abilities to abfent. I remember the time when 
 rafcally company were kept out, and the unlucky 
 boys with toys and balls were whipped away by a 
 beadle. I have feen this done indeed of late, but 
 then it has been only to chafe the lads from chuck, 
 that the beadle might feize their copper. 
 ' I MUST repeat the abomination, that the walnut 
 trade is carried on by old women within the walks, 
 which makes the place impalTable by reafon of fhells 
 and trafh. The benches around are fo filthy, that 
 no one can fit down, yet the beadles and officers 
 have the impudence at Chriftmas to afk for their 
 box, tho' they deferve the Strapado. I do not think 
 it impertinent to have mentioned this, becaufe it 
 fpeaks a neglect in thedomeftic care of the city, and 
 the domeffic is the trueft picture of a man every- 
 where elfe. 
 
 ' BUT I defigned to fneak on the bufinefs of mo- 
 ney and advancement of gain. The man proper for 
 this, fpeaking in the general, isofafedate, plain, 
 good underfhnding, not apt to go out of his way, 
 but fo behaving himfelf at home, that bufinefs may 
 come to him. Sir William Turner, that valuable 
 citizen, has left behind him a mofr. excellent rule, 
 and couched it in very few words, fuited to the 
 meaneft capacity. He would fay, Keep your /hop, an£ 
 jour flop will keep you. It muit be confefTed, that if a 
 
 i man 
 
'142 
 
 THE SPECTATOR, NO c09 . 
 
 man of a great" genius could add (leadinefs to his 
 vivacities, or fubftitute flower men of fidelity to 
 tranfact the methodical part of his affairs, fuch-a-one 
 would outftrip the reft of the world : but bufinefs 
 and trade is not to be managed by the fame heads 
 which write poetry, and make plans for the conduct 
 of life in general. So though we are at this day be- 
 holden to the late witty and inventive duke of Buck- 
 ingham for the whole trade and manufacture of glafs, 
 yet I fuppofe there is no one will aver, that, were 
 his grace yet living, they would not rather deal with 
 my diligent friend and neighbour, Mr. Gumley, for 
 any goods to be prepared and delivered on fuch a 
 day, than he would with that illuitrious mechanic 
 above-mentioned. 
 
 ' NO, no, Mr. Spectator, you witsmuft not pre- 
 tend to be rich ; and it is poifible the reafon may be, 
 in fome meafure, becaufe you defpife, or at leaft you 
 do not value it enough to let it take up your chief 
 attention ; which the trader muff do, or lofe his 
 credit, which is to him what honour, reputation, 
 fame, or glory is to other fort of men. 
 f I SHALL not fpeak to the point of cafli itfelf, till 
 I fee how you approve of thefe my maxims in gene- 
 ral : but, I think, a fpecnlation upon Many a Hit Is 
 makes a mickle, A penny faved is a penny %ot, Penny 
 wife and pound foolifh, It is need that makes the old wife 
 trot, would be very ufeful to the world, and if you 
 treated them with knowlege would be ufeful to your- 
 felf, for it would make demands for your paper a- 
 mong thofe who have no notion of it at prefent. But 
 of thefe matters more hereafter. If you did this, as 
 you excel many writers of the prefent age for polite- 
 nefs, fo you would outgo the author of the true 
 ftrops of razors for ufe. 
 
 ' I SHALL conclude this difcourfe with an expla- 
 nation of a proverb, which, by vulgar error, is 
 taken and ufed when a man is reduced to an extre- 
 mity, whereas the propriety of the maxim is to ufe 
 it when you would fay, there is plenty, but you 
 muft make fuch a choice, as not to hurt another who 
 is to come after you. 
 
 <Mr. 
 
N°509- THE SPECTATOR. 143 
 
 ' Mr. TOBIAS HOBSON, from whom we have 
 the expreihon, was a very honourable man, for I 
 (hall ever call the man fo who gets an eftate honeft- 
 ly. Mr. Tobias Hobfon was a carrier, and being a 
 man of great abilities and invention, and one that 
 faw where there might good profit arife, though the 
 duller men over-looked it ; this ingenious man was 
 the firffc in this ifland who let out hackney-horfes. 
 He lived in Cambridge, and obferving that the fcho- 
 lars rid hard, his manner was to keep a large ftable 
 of horfes, with boots, bridles, and whips to furnifh 
 the gentlemen at once, without going from college 
 to college to borrow, as they have done fince the 
 death of this worthy man : I fay, Mr. Hobfon kept 
 a ftable of forty good cattle, always ready and fit for 
 travelling ; but when a man came for a horfe, he 
 was led into the ftable, where there was great 
 choice, but he obliged him to take the horfe which 
 ftood next to the ftable-door ; fo that every cuftomer 
 was alike well-ferved according to his chance, and 
 every horfe ridden with the fame juftice : from 
 whence it became a proverb, when what ought to be 
 your election was forced upon you, to fay, Hobfon's 
 choice. This memorable man ftands drawn in frefco 
 at an inn, which he ufed, in Bifhopfgate-Street, 
 with an hundred pound bag under his arm, with this 
 infeription upon the faid bag ; 
 
 ' The fruitful mother of a hundred more. 
 
 < WHATEVER tradefman will try the experiment, 
 and begin the day after you publifh this my dif- 
 courfe to treat his cuftomers all alike, and all rea- 
 fonably and honeftly, I will infure him the fame 
 fuccefs. 
 
 / am, SIR, 
 
 Tour loving friend, 
 
 Hezekiah Thrift, 
 
 Wtdnefday, 
 
I 4 4 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 NO 510, 
 
 N°5io. Wednefday y OSlobcr 15. 
 
 Si fapis, 
 
 Neque p'raeterquam quas ipfe amor ?noleJlias 
 Habet addas ; et illas, quas habet, refte feras. 
 
 Ter. Eun. A<ft. i. Sc. i. 
 If you are wife, neither add to the troubles, which 
 attend the paffion of love, and bear patiently thofe 
 which are infepar able from it. 
 
 I WAS the other day driving in a hack thro' Ger~ 
 rard-ftreet, when my eye was immediately catch- 
 ed with the prettied; object imaginable, the face of 
 a fair girl, between thirteen and fourteen, fixed at the 
 chin to a painted fafh and made part of the landfkip. 
 It feemed admirably done, and upon throwing my- 
 felf eagerly out of the coach to look at it, it laughed 
 and flung from the window. This amiable figure 
 dwelt upon me ; and I was confidering the vanity of 
 the girl, and her pleafant coquetry in acting a pic- 
 ture till fhe was taken notice of, and railing the ad- 
 miration of the beholders. This little cirenmftance 
 made me run into reflection upon the force of beauty, 
 and the wonderful influence the female fex has upon 
 the other part of the fpecies. Oui 
 with their inchantments, and the 
 brutal men, who, by that hardi 
 pleafure in them, can refill: their infinuations, though 
 never fo much againft our own intereft and opinion. 
 It is common with women to e'eftroy the good effects 
 a man's following his own way and inclination might 
 have upon his honour and fortune, by interpofing 
 their power over him in matters wherein they can- 
 not influence him, but to his lofs and difparage- 
 ment. I do not know therefore a talk fo diffi- 
 cult in human life, as to be proof againft the im- 
 portunities of a woman a man loves. There is cer- 
 tainly no armour againft tears, fallen looks, or at 
 
 befl 
 
 : female fex has upon 
 Our hearts are feized 
 lere are few of us, but 
 •dnefs, lofe the chief 
 
No 5 10. THE SPECTATOR. 14 j 
 
 beft conftrained familiarities, in her whom you legal- 
 ly meet with tranfport and alacrity. Sir Walter Raleigh 
 was quoted in a letter (of a very ingenious correfpon- 
 dent of mine) on this fubject. That author, who had 
 lived in courts, camps, travelled through many coun- 
 tries, and feen many men under feveral climates, and 
 of as various complexions, fpeuks of our impotence 
 to refill: the wiles of women, in very fevere terms. 
 His words are as follow : 
 
 WH AT means did the devil find out, or what inftrii- 
 meats did hit own fubtilty prefent him, as fitteft and 
 apt eft to work his mif chief by ? Even the unquiet va- 
 nity of the woman ,• fo as by Adam's hearkning to the voice 
 of his wife, contrary to the exprefs commandment of the 
 living God, mankind by that her incantation became the 
 fubjecl of labour, forrow, and death ; the woman being' 
 given to man for a comfcrter and 'companion, but not for 
 a counfellor. It is a/Jo to be noted by whom the woman 
 was tempted ; even by the m oft ugly and unworthy of all 
 beafts, into whom the devil entered and perfuaded. Se- 
 condly, what was the motive of her difobedieuce ? Even 
 a defer e to know what was mo ft unfitting her knowlege ; 
 an affetfion which has ever fine e remained in all the po- 
 fterity of her few Thirdly, What was it that moved 
 the man to yield to her perfuafions? Even the fame caufe 
 which hath moved all men fince to the like confent, name- 
 ly, an unwilling nefs to grieve her or make her fad, left 
 Jhe jhould pine, and be overcome with forrow. But if 
 Adam in the ft ate of perfeclion, and Solomon the fon of 
 David, God's chofen fervani, and him felf a man endued 
 with the greateft wifhrn, did both ofrhem difobey their 
 Creator by the psrfuafion and for the love they bare to a 
 woman, it is not fo wonderful as lamentable, that other 
 men in fucceeding age shave been allured to fo many incon- 
 venient and wicked practices by the perfuafion of their 
 wives, or other beloved darlings, who cover over and 
 Jhadow many malicious pv.rpofes with a counterfeit 
 pajfion of dijfmndate forrow and unquietnefs, 
 
 THE motions of the minds of lovers are no where 
 fo well defcribed, as in the works of ikilful writers for 
 the ftage. The fcene between Fulvia and Curius, in the 
 
 VOL. VII. G fecond 
 
146 THE SPECTATOR. NOyio. 
 
 fecond act of Johnfon's Catiline, is an excellent picture 
 of the power of a lady over her gallant. The wench 
 plays with his affections ; and as a man of all places in 
 the world wifhes to make a good figure with his miftrefs, 
 upon her upbraiding him with want of fpirit, he alludes 
 to enterprizes which he cannot reveal but with the ha- 
 zard of his life. When he is worked thus far, with a 
 little flattery of her opinion of his gallantry, anddefire 
 to know more of it out of her overflowing fondnefs to 
 him, he brags to her till his life is in her difpofal. 
 
 WHEN a man is thus liable to be vanquifhed by the 
 charms of her he loves, the fafeft way is to determine 
 what is proper to be done, but to avoid all expoftulati- 
 on with her before he executes what he has refolved. 
 Women are ever too hard for us upon a treaty, and 
 one mult consider how fenfelefs a thing it is to argue 
 with one whofe looks and geftures are more prevalent 
 "with you, than your reafon and arguments can be with 
 her. It is a moft miferable flavery to fubmit to what 
 you difapprove, and give up a truth for no other rea- 
 fon, but that you had not fortitude to fupport you in 
 afferting it. A man has enough to do to conquer his 
 own unreafonable wifhes and defires ; but he does that 
 in vain, if he has thofe of another to gratify. Let his 
 pride be in his wife and family, let him give them all 
 the conveniencies of life in fuch a manner as if he were 
 proud of them ; but let it be his own innocent pride, 
 and not their exorbitant defires, which are indulged by 
 him. In this cafe all the little arts imaginable are ufed 
 to foften a man's heart, and raife his paffion above his 
 understanding. But in all conceflions of this kind, a 
 man fhould confider whether the prefent he makes 
 flows from his own love, or the importunity of his be- 
 loved : if from the latter, he is her flave ; if from the 
 former, her friend. We laugh it off, and do not weigh 
 this Subjection to women with that ferioufnefs which 
 foimportantacircuraflancedeferves. Why was courage 
 given to man, if his wife's fears are to fruftrate it ? 
 When this is once indulged, you are no longer her 
 guardian and protector, as you were defigned by na- 
 ture, but, in compliance to her weaknefles, you have 
 difabled yourfelf from avoiding the misfortunes into 
 
 which 
 
K° 511, 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 M7 
 
 which they will lead you both, and you are to fee the 
 hour in which you are to be reproached by herfelf for 
 that very complaifance to her. It is indeed the moil 
 difficult mattery over ourfclves we can poffibly attain, 
 to refill; the grief of her who charms us ; but let the 
 heart ake, be the anguifh never fo quick and painful, 
 it is what mull be fuffered and puffed thro', if you think 
 to live like a gentleman, or be confeious to yourfelf 
 that you are a man of honelly. The old argument, 
 that You do not love me if you deny me this, which firft 
 was ufed to obtain a trifle, by habitual fuccefs will ob- 
 lige the unhappy man who gives way to it, to refign 
 the caufe even of his country and his honour. T 
 
 N°5ii. Thurfday, October 16. 
 
 Qj/is non invenlt turba quod amaret in ilia ? 
 
 Ovid.Ars Am. 1. 1. v. 175. 
 
 — — Who could fail to find) 
 
 Jnfuch a croud y a miftrefs to his mind ? 
 
 Dear Spec, 
 
 FINDING that my laft letter took, I do intend 
 to continue my epiftolary correfpondence with 
 thee, on thofe dear confounded creatures, 
 Women. Thou knoweft all the little learning I am 
 matter of is upon that fubjecT: ; I never looked in a 
 book, but for their fakes. I have lately met with two 
 pure ftories for a Spectator, which I am fure will 
 pleafe mightily, if they pafs thro' thy hands. The firft 
 of them I found by chance in an Engiifh book called 
 Herodotus, that lay in my friend Dapperwit's win- 
 dow, as I vifited him one morning. It luckily open* 
 ed in the place where I met with the following ac* 
 count. He tells us that it was the manner among the 
 Ferfians to have feveral fairs in the kingdom, at 
 which all the young unmarried women were annual- 
 ly expofed to fa'le. The men who wanted wives 
 came hither to provide themfelves; every woman 
 G 2 ' was 
 
THE SPECTATOR. N°su. 
 
 was given to the higheft bidder, and the money 
 which (he fetched laid allele for the public ufe, to be 
 employed as thou (halt hear by and by. By this means 
 the richeft people had the choice of the market, and 
 culled out all the moft extraordinary beauties. As 
 foon as the fair was thus picked, the refufe was to be 
 diflributed among the poor, and among thofe who 
 could not go to the price of a beauty. Several of thefe 
 married the agreeables, without paying a farthing 
 for them, unlefs fomebody chanced to think it worth 
 his while to bid for them, in which cafe the beft bid- 
 der was always the purchaser. But now you rouft 
 know, Spec, it happened in Perlia as it does in our 
 own country, that there were as many ugly women, 
 as beauties or agreeables ; fo that by confequence, 
 after the magi ft rates had put off a great many, there 
 were flill a great many that ftuck upon their hands. 
 In order therefore to clear the market, the money 
 which the beauties had fold for, was difpofed of a- 
 mong the ugly ; fo that a poor man, who could not 
 afford to have a beauty for his wife, was forced to take 
 up with a fortune; the greateft portion being always 
 given to the moft deformed. To this the author adds, 
 that every poor man was forced to live kindly with 
 his wife, or in cafe he repented of his bargain, to 
 re-turn her portion with her to the next public fale. 
 ' WHAT I would recommend to thee on this occa- 
 iion is, to eftablifli fuch an imaginary fair in Great 
 Britain : thou couldft make it very pleafant, by 
 matching women of quality with coblers and carmen, 
 ordefcribing titles and garters leading off in great 
 ceremony fhop-keepers and farmers daughters. Tho' 
 to tell thee the truth, I am confoundedly afraid that 
 as the love of money prevails in our iiland more than 
 it did in Perfia, we mould find that feme of our great- 
 eft men would choofe out the portions, and rival 
 one another for the richeft piece of deformity ; and 
 that on the contrary, the toafts and belies would be 
 bought up by extravagant heirs, gamefters, and fpend- 
 thrifts, Thou couldil make very pretty reflections 
 .upon this occalion in honour of the Periian politics, 
 who took care, by fuch marriages, to beautify the 
 
 i upper 
 
N^ 5 1 1 • THE SPECTATOR. 149 
 
 upper part of the fpecies, and to make the greateft 
 perfons in the government the molt graceful. But 
 this I (hall leave to thy judicious pen. 
 
 ' I HAVE another ftory to tell thee, which I like- 
 wife met with in a book. It feems the general of the 
 Tartars, after having laid fiege to a ftrong town in 
 China, and taken it by ftorm, would fet to fale all 
 the women that were found in it. Accordingly, he 
 put each of them into a fack, and after having tho- 
 roughly considered the value of the woman who was 
 inclofed, marked the price, that was demanded for 
 her upon thefack. There were a great confluence of 
 chapmen, that reforted from every part, with a de- 
 fign to purchafe, which they were todounfight un- 
 ken. The book mentions a merchant in particular, 
 who obferving one of the facks to be marked pretty 
 high, bargained for it, and carried it off with him 
 to his hoafe. As he was refting with it upon a half- 
 way bridge, he was refolved to take a furvey of his 
 purchafe : upon opening the fack, a little old wo- 
 man popped her head out of it ; at which the adven- 
 turer was in fo great a rage, that he was going to 
 jhoot her out into the river. The old lady, how- 
 ever, begged him firft of all to hear her ftory, by 
 which he learned that (he was lifter to a great Man- 
 darin, who would infallibly make the fortune of his 
 brother-in-law as foon as he fhould know to whofe 
 lot me fell. Upon which the merchant again tied 
 her up in his lack, and carried her to his houfe, 
 where fhe proved an excellent wife, and procured 
 him all the riches from her brother that Ihe had pro- 
 mi fed him. 
 
 ' I FANCY, if I was difpofed to dream a fecond 
 time, I could make a tolerable vifion upon this plan. 
 I would fuppofe all the unmarried women in London 
 and Weftminfter brought to market in facks with 
 their refpeclive price on each fack. The firft fack 
 that is fold is marked with five thoufand pound : up- 
 on the opening of it, I find it filled with an admir- 
 able houfe-wife, of an agreeable countenance : the 
 purchafer, upon hearing her go, J qualities, pays 
 down her price very cheat-fully. The fecond I would 
 G 3 l open, 
 
15© 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. N°5i2. 
 
 open, fhould be a five hundred pound fack : the lady 
 in it, to our furprize, has the face and perfon of a 
 toaft : as we are wondering how {he came to be 
 fet at fo low a price, we hear that (he would have 
 been valued at ten thoufand pound, but that the pub- 
 lic had made thefe abatements for her being a fcold . 
 I would afterwards find fome beautiful, modeft, and 
 difcreet woman, that fhould be the top of the market; 
 and perhaps difcover half a dozen romps tied up to- 
 gether in the fame fack, at one hundred pound an 
 head. The prude and the coquette fhould be valued 
 at the fame price, tho' the firfr. fhould go off the bet- 
 ter of the two. I fancy thou wouldfr. like fuch a vifi- 
 on, had I time to finifh it ; becaufe to talk in thy 
 own way, there is a moral in it. Whatever thou may'ft 
 think of it, pry'thee do not make any of thy queer a- 
 pologies for this letter as thou didft for my lafi. The 
 women love a gay lively fellow, and arejiever an- 
 gry at the ralleries of one who is their known ad- 
 mirer. I am always bitter upon them, but well with 
 them. Thine, 
 
 » Honeycomb. 
 
 N ( 
 
 512. Friday, QBober 17. 
 
 Lefforem deleftando, pariterque monendo. 
 
 Hor. Ars Poet. v. 344. 
 
 By which the reader is improved and plea? d. 
 
 THERE is nothing which we receive with fo much 
 reluctance as advice. We look upon the man 
 who gives it us as offering an affront to^p-ur un- 
 derftanding,and treating us like children or idiots. We 
 confider the inffruclion as an implicit cenfure, and the 
 zeal which any one fhews for our good on fuch an oc- 
 cafion as a piece of prefumption or impertinence. The 
 truth of it is, the perfon who pretends to advife, does, 
 in that particular, exercife a fuperiority over us, and 
 can have no other reafon for it, but that in comparing 
 us with himfelf, he thinks us defective either in our 
 
 ' con- 
 
IS 512. THE SPECTATOR. 151 
 
 conduct or our nnderftanding. For thefe reafons, there 
 is nothing fo difficult as the art of making advice agree- 
 able ; and indeed all the writers, both antient and 
 modern, have diftinguiflied themfelves among one an- 
 other, according to the perfection at which they have 
 arrived in this art. How many devices have been made 
 ufe of, to render this bitter potion palatable ? Some 
 convey their inftructions to us in the belt chofen 
 words, others in the molt harmonious numbers, fome 
 in points of wit, and others in fhort proverbs. 
 
 BUT among all the different ways of giving counlel, 
 I th'ok the fined, and that which pleafes the moil: uni- 
 verfaliy, is Fable, in whatfoever lhapc it appears. If 
 we confider this way of inftructing or giving advice, 
 it excels all others, becaufe it is the leaft mocking, 
 and the leaf: fubjeel to thofe exceptions which I have 
 before mentioned. 
 
 THIS will appear to us, if we reflect, in the firft 
 place, that upon the reading of a fable we are made to 
 believe we advife ourfelves. We perufe the author for 
 the fake of the ftory, and confider the precepts rather 
 as our own conclufions than his inftruclions. The mo- 
 ral infinuates itfelf imperceptibly, we are taught by 
 furprize, and become wifer and better unawares. In 
 fhort, by this method a man is fo far over-reached as 
 to think he is directing himfelf, while he is following 
 the dictates of another, and confequently is not fen- 
 fible of that which is the moft unpleafing circumftance 
 in advice. 
 
 I N the next place, if we look into human nature, 
 we fhall find that the mind is never fo much pleafed,as 
 when fhe exerts herfelf in any action that gives her an 
 idea of her own perfections and abilities. This natural 
 pride and -ambition of the foul is very much gratified in 
 the reading of a fable: for in writings of this kind, the 
 reader comes in for half of the performance; every 
 thing appears to him like a difcovery of his own ; he is 
 bufied all the while in applying characters and circum- 
 ftances, and is in this refpect both a reader and a com- 
 pofer. It is no wonder therefore that on fuch occafi- 
 ons, when the mind is thus pleafed with itfelf, and 
 amufed with its own difcoveries, that it is highly de- 
 G 4 ' lighted 
 
ija- THE SPECTATOR. NO512. 
 
 lighted with the writing which is the occafion of it. 
 For this reafon the ^bfalom and Achitophel was one 
 of the molt popular poems that ever appeared in En- 
 glim. The poetry is indeed very fine, but had it been 
 much finer, it would not have fo much pleafed, with- 
 out a plan which gave the reader an opportunity of 
 exerting his own talents. 
 
 THIS oblique manner of giving advice is fo inof- 
 fenfive, that if we look into antient histories, we find 
 the wife men of old very often, chofe to give counfel 
 to their kings in fables. To omit many which will oc- 
 cur to every one's memory, there is a pretty inftance 
 ef this nature in a .Turk ifh tale, which I do not like 
 the worfe for that little oriental extravagance which 
 is mixed with it. 
 
 WE are told that the fultan Mahmoud, by his per- 
 petual wars abroad, and his tyranny at home, had fil- 
 led his dominions with ruin and defolation, and half 
 unpeopled the Perfian. empire. The vifier to this great 
 fultan (whether an humorift or an enthufiaft, we are 
 not informed) pretended to have learned of a certain 
 cier/Sfe to underftand the language of birds, fo that 
 there was not a bird that could open his mouth, but 
 the vifier knew what it was he faid. As he was one 
 evening with the emperor, in their return from hunt- 
 ing, they faw a couple of owls upon a tree that grew 
 near an old wall out of an heap of rubbifh. I would fain 
 know') fays the fultan, what thofe two owls are faying 
 to one another ; liften to their difcourfe, and 1 give me an 
 account of it. The vifier approached the tree, pretend- 
 ing to be very attentive to the two owls. Upon his re- 
 turn to the fultan, Sir, fays he, / have heard part of 
 their converfation, but dare not till you what it is. The 
 fultan would not be fatisfied with fuch an anfwer, but 
 forced him to repeat word for word every thing the 
 owlshad faid. Ton nut ft know then, faid the vifier, that 
 one of thefe owh has a fon, and the other a daughter, 
 between whom they are now upon a treaty of marriage. 
 The father of the fon faid to the father of the daughter, 
 in my hearing, Brother, I confent to this marriage, pro- 
 vided you will fettle upon your daughter fifty ruined vil- 
 lages for her portion. To which the father of the daugh- 
 ter 
 
NO513. 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 *53 
 
 ter replied, In/lea J of fifty I will give her five hun lred r 
 if you pleafe. God grant a long life to fait an Mahmcud ; 
 w'hilft he reigns over us ,we [ball never "iv ant ruined 'villages. 
 
 THE ftory fays, the fultan was fo touched with the 
 fable, that he rebuilt the towns and villages which had 
 been deftroyed, and from that time forward confulted 
 the good of his people. 
 
 TO fill up my paper, I fhall add a moft ridiculous 
 piece of natural magic, which was taught by no lefs a 
 philofopher thanDemocritus, namely, that if the blood 
 of certain birds, which he mentioned, were mixed to- 
 gether, it would produce a ferpent of fuch a wonder- 
 ful virtue, that whoever did eat it mould be (killed in 
 the language of birds, and understand every thing they 
 faid to one another. Whether the dervife above-men- 
 tioned might not have eaten fuch a ferpent, I ilia.ll 
 leave to the determinations of the learned. O 
 
 513. Saturday, OSlober 
 
 -rQ 
 
 10. 
 
 4jflata eft numine quando 
 
 Jam propiore Dei 
 
 Virg. JEn.-6-v. 5"o. 
 
 When all the God came rufbing on her foul. Dry'den. 
 
 TH E following letter comes to me from that ex- 
 cellent man in holy orders, whom I have men- 
 tioned more than once as one of that fociety 
 who affifts me in my fpeculations. It is a thought in 
 ficknefs, and- of a very ferious nature, for which rea- 
 fon I give it a place in the paper of this day. 
 
 S I R, 
 
 THE indifpolition which has long hung upon me, 
 is at laft grown to fuch a head, that it muft 
 quickly make an end of me, or of itfeif. You may 
 imagine, that whilft I am in this bad ftate of health, 
 there are none of your works which I read : with 
 greater pleafure than your Saturday's papers. I 
 mould be very glad if I could furnifh you with any 
 hints for that day's entertainment. W ere I able to- 
 C 5; * dsei* 
 
154 THE SPEQTATOR. N° fly. 
 
 1 drefs up feveral thoughts of a ferious nature, which 
 *■ have made great imprefTions on my mind during a 
 
 * long fit of ficknefs, they might not be an improper 
 •' entertainment for that occafion. 
 
 * A M O N G all the reflections which ufuaily rife in 
 ' the mind of afickman, who has time and inclina- 
 i tion to confider his approaching end, there is none 
 ' more natural than that of his going to appear naked 
 ' and unbodied before him who made him. When a 
 
 * man confiders, that as foon as the vital union is dif- 
 ' folved, he fhall fee that fnpreme Being, whom he 
 
 * now contemplates at a diftance, and only in his 
 ' works ; or, to fpeak more philofophically, when, by 
 ' fome faculty in the foul, he mail apprehend the di- 
 
 * vine Being, and be more fenfible of his prefence, 
 
 * than we are now of the prefence of any objecl which 
 ' the eye beholds, a man mufl bz loir, incarelefnefsand 
 
 * ftupidity, who is not alarmed at fuch a thought. 
 ' Dr. Sherlock, in his excellent treatife upon death, 
 ' has reprefented, in very ftrong and lively colours, 
 ' the ftate of the foul in its firft feparation from the 
 
 * body, with regard to that invifible world which eve- 
 ' ry-where iurrounds us, though we are not able to 
 
 * difcover it through this grofler world of matter, 
 
 * which is accommodated to our fenfes in this life. 
 
 * His words are as follow. 
 
 * THAT death, which is our leaving this World, is 
 
 * nothing elf e but our putting off thefe bodies, teaches 
 
 * us, that it is only our union to thefe bodies, which in- 
 i tercepts the fight of the other world : the other world 
 
 * is not at fuch a di fiance from us, as we may imagine ; 
 1 the throne of God indeed is at a great remove from this 
 
 * earth, above the third heavens, where he difplays his 
 i elory to thofe blejfed fpirits which encompafs Ins 
 i 'throne; but as foon as wefiep out of thefe bodies, we 
 ' -fiep into the other world, which is not fo properly an- 
 1 other world, (for there is the fame heaven and earth 
 1 Jill 1) as a new fiat e of life. To live in thefe bodies is to 
 
 * live in this world ; to live outofthetnis to remove into 
 1 the next : for while our fouls are confined to thefe bo- 
 4 dies, andean look only thro' thefe material cafements, 
 
 * nothing 
 
N°$i3. THE SPECTATOR. 155 
 
 nothing but what is materia! can affefl us ; nay, nothing. 
 but what is fo grofs, that it can rejiecJ light, and con- 
 vey the Jhapes and colours of things with it to the eye : 
 
 fo that though within this vijible world, there be a 
 more glorious fcene of things than what appears io 
 us, we perceive nothing at all of it ; for this veil 
 offejh parts the vijible and invifible world : but when 
 we put off thefe bodies, there are new and furprizing 
 wonders prefent th em f elves to our views ; when thefe 
 material fpeflacles are taken off, the foul, with its 
 own naked eyes, fees what was invifible before : and 
 then we are in the other world, when we can fee 
 it, and cotwerfe with it : thus St. Paul tells us, 
 that when we are at home in the body, we are ab» 
 fent from the Lord ; but when we are abfent from the 
 body, we are prefent with the Lord, 2 Cor. v. 6, 8. 
 And me thinks this is enough to cure us of our fond- 
 nefs for thefe bodies, uulefs we think it more de- 
 ferable to be confined to a prifon,. and to took thro*' 
 a grate all our lives, which gives us but a very narrow 
 profpetl, and that none of the beft neither, than to 
 be fet at liberty to view all the glories of the world. 
 What would we give now for the leafi glimpfe of 
 that invifible world, which the firfl Jlep we take out 
 of thefe bodies will prefent us with ? There are 
 
 fitch things as eye hath not feen, nor ear heard,, 
 neither hath it entered into the heart of man to- 
 conceive : death opens our eyes, enlarges our pro- 
 
 fpetl, prefent s us with a new and more glorious 
 world, which we can never fee while we are /hut 
 up in fiejh ; which jhould make us as willing to part 
 with this veil, as to take the film off of our eyes, 
 which hinders our fight * 
 
 ' AS a thinking man cannot but be very much af- 
 fected with the idea of his appearing in the prefence 
 of that Being whom none can fee and live ; he muft be" 
 much more atfecled when he connders that this Be- 
 ing whom he appears before, will examine a9. the" 
 aclions of his pad: life, and reward or punifh him ac- 
 cordingly. I mud confefs that \ think there \z no- 
 fchenic of religion, beiides that of Chiiftianity,, 
 
 
156 THE SPECTATOR. Rtfa. 
 
 c which can poffibly fupport the mod virtuous per- 
 ' fon under this thought. Let a man's innocence be 
 ' what it will, let his virtues rife to the higheft pitch 
 ' of perfection attainable in this life, there will be {till 
 
 • in him fo many fecret fins, fo many human frailties, 
 
 * fo many offences of ignorance, paffion, and preju- 
 4 dice, fo many unguarded words and thoughts, and 
 ' in fhort, fo many defects in his belt actions, that, 
 4 without the advantages of fuch an expiation and 
 ' atonement as Christianity has revealed to us, it is. 
 ' impoffible that he fhould be cleared before his fove- 
 ' reign judge, or that he fhould be able to ft and in his 
 1 fight- < - )ur holy religion fuggeits to us the only 
 1 means whereby our guilt may be taken away, and 
 ' our imperfect obedience accepted. 
 
 ' IT is this feries of thought that I have endeavour- 
 4 ed to exprefs in the following hymn, which I have 
 ' compofed during this my ficknefs* 
 
 WHEN rifingfrom the bed of death. 
 Overwhelmed with guilt and fear, 
 I fee my Maker, face to face, 
 how ftpall 1 appear ! 
 
 II. 
 
 If 'yet , while pardon may be found, 
 
 And mercy may be fought , 
 My heart with inward horror /brinks, 
 
 And trembles at the thought. 
 
 III. 
 
 When thou, Lord, ft} alt ft and difchs'd 
 
 In majefty fevere, 
 Mud fit in judgment on my foul, 
 *<2 how ft all I appear i 
 
 IV. 
 
 But thou haft told the troubled njhid, 
 
 Who does her fins lament, 
 The t'.mely tribute of her tears 
 
 Shall endlefs woe prevent. 
 
 V- Than 
 
NO513. ' THE SPECTATOR. i?7 
 
 V. 
 
 Then fee the for row of my hearty 
 
 Ere yet it be too late ; 
 And hear my Saviour ' s dying groans , 
 
 To give thofe forrows weight. 
 
 VI. 
 
 For never pall my foul defpair 
 
 Her pardon to procure, 
 Who knows thy only Son has dy'd 
 
 To make her pardon fure. 
 
 ' THERE is a noble hymn in French, which raon- 
 ' fieur Bayle has celebrated for a very fine one, and 
 ' which the famovrs author of the Art of f peaking call? 
 4 an admirable one, that turns upon a thought of the 
 ' fame nature. If I could have done it juftice in Eng- 
 1 lifh, I would have lent it you translated ; it was writ- 
 ' ten by monfieur Des Barreaux, who had been one 
 ' of the greateft wits and libertines in France, but in 
 
 • his laft years was as remarkable a penitent. 
 
 GR AND Dieti, tes jugemens font remplis d'equite', 
 Toujour s tu prens plaiftr a nous ctre propice. 
 Mais f at t ant fait de mal, que jamais ta bonis 
 Ne me pardonnera, fans choquer tajuft'ue. 
 Out, mon Dial, la grandeur de mon impiete 
 Ne laijfe a ton pouvoir que le choix du fuplice : 
 Ton inter eft s y oppofe a ma felicite ; 
 Et ta clemence meme attend que je perifte. 
 Cont ente ton defir, puis qid it /' eft glorieux ; 
 Offenfe toy des pleurs qui coulent de mesyeux ; 
 Tonne, frapp e, it eft terns y rens mot guerre pour guerre ; 
 f adore en perijfant la raifon qui f aigrit. 
 Mais dejfus quel endroit tomb era ton tonnerre, 
 Qui nefoit tout convert dufangde Jesus-Christ? 
 
 1 I F thefe thoughts maybe ferviceable to you> I de- 
 
 * fire you would place them in a proper light, and am 
 ' ever with great fincerity, 
 
 S I F, Tours, etc. 
 O 
 
 Monday, 
 
10 
 
 THE SPECTATOR, No$i 4 . 
 
 N° 514. Monday, OBober 20. 
 
 Me PamaJJi defer t a per ardua dulcis 
 
 Rapt a amor ; juvat ire jugis qua nulla prior um 
 Caftaliam molli divertitur orbita clivo. 
 
 Virg. Georg. 3., v. 291. 
 But the commanding mufe my chariot guides, 
 Which o'er the dubious cliff fecurely rides : 
 And pleas' d I am no beaten road to take, 
 But fir ft the way to new difcov'ries make. Dryden. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 * ¥ CAME home a little later than ufual the other 
 
 * night, and not finding myfelf inclined to fleep, I 
 
 * JL took up Virgil to divert me till I mould be more 
 
 * difpofed to reft. He is the author whom 1 always 
 ' choofe on fuch occafions, no one writing in fo di- 
 
 * vine, fo harmonious, nor fo equal a ftrain, which 
 
 * leaves the mind compofed, and foftened into an a- 
 ' grc-eable melancholy ; the temper, in which, of all 
 ' others, I choofe to clofe the day. The parages I turn- 
 
 * ed to were thofe beautiful raptures in his Georgics, 
 ' where he profeftes himfclf intirely given up to the 
 ' mules, and fmit with the love of poetry, pafiionate- 
 ' ly wifhing to be tranfported to the cool fhades and 
 ' retirements of the mountain Haemus. I clofed the 
 ' book and went to bed. What J had juft before been 
 
 * reading made fo ftrong an impreffion on my mind, 
 ' that fancy feemed almoft to fulfil to me the wifh of 
 
 * Virgil, in prefenting to me the following vifion. 
 'METHOUGHT I was on a fudden placed in 
 
 * the plains of Boeotia, where, at the end of the ho- 
 
 < rizon, I law the mountain ParnafTus riling before 
 
 < me. The profpedl was of fo large an extent, that 
 
 * I had long wandered about to find a path which 
 
 < mould directly lead me to it, had I not feerr at 
 
 * fome diflance a grove of trees, which in a plain 
 ' that had nothing elfe remarkable enough i« it to fix 
 
 * my fight, immediately determined me to §b thither. 
 
 < When I arrived at it, I found it parted out into a great 
 
 1 nurr.bes.- 
 
N3 5I4- THE SPECTATOR. 159 
 
 ' number of walks and alleys, which often widened Into 
 
 * beautiful openings, as circles or ovals, let round with 
 ' yews and cyprefies, with niches, grottos, and caves 
 ' placed on the fides, encompalfed with ivy. There was 
 
 * no found to be heard in the whole place, but only that 
 ' of a gentle breeze pafling over the leaves of the for- 
 
 * eft, every thing befide was buried in a profound filence. 
 
 * I was captivated with the beauty and retirement of the 
 
 * place, and never fo much, before that hour, was pleaf- 
 ' ed with the enjoyment of myfelf. I indulged the hu- 
 ' mour, and fuffered myfelf to wander without choice 
 ' or dellgn. At length, at the end of a range of trees, 
 ' I faw three figures feated on a bank of mofs, with a 
 ' hient brook creeping at their feet. I adored them as 
 ' the tutelar divinities of the place, and flood ftill to take 
 ' a particular view of each of them. The middlemoft, 
 ' whofe name was Solitude, fat with her arms acrofs. 
 1 each other, and feemed rather penfive and wholly tak- 
 ' en up with her own thoughts^ than any ways grieved 
 
 ' or difpleafed. The only companions which fheadmit- 
 ' ed into that retirement, was the goddefs Silence, who 
 ' fat on her right hand with her linger on her mouth, 
 ' and on her left Contemplation, with her eyes fixed up- 
 
 * on the heavens. Before her lay a celeftial globe, with 
 ' feveial fchemes of mathematical theorems. She pre- 
 ' vented my fpeech with the greateft affability in the 
 ' world : Fear not, faid (he, I know your requeft before 
 
 * you fpeakit; you would beled-to the mountain of the 
 ' mufes ; the only way to it lies thro' this place, and no . 
 ' one is fo often employed in conducting perfons thi- 
 ' therasmyfelf. When fhehad thus fpoken,fhe rofefrom 
 ' her feat, and I immediately placed myfelf under her 
 ' direction; but whiiftl palled thro' the grove, I could 
 ' not help inquiring of her who were the perfons admit- 
 ' ted into that fweet retirement. Surely, faid I, there can 
 ' nothing enter here but virtue and virtuous thoughts : 
 
 ' the whole wood feemed defigned for the reception and 
 ' reward of fuch perfons as have fpent their lives, ac-, 
 ' cording to the dictates of their confeience and the 
 ' commands of the gods. You imagine right, faid fhe ; 
 ' affure yourfelf this place was at firft defigned for no o- 
 ' ther : fuch it continued to be in the reign of Saturn, 
 
 * when 
 
160 THE SPECTATOR. NO514. 
 
 * when none entered here but holy priefts, deliverers of 
 
 * their country from oppreffion and tyranny, who re- 
 i pofed themfelves here after their labours, and thofe 
 ' whom the ftudy and love of wifdom had fitted for di- 
 
 * vine converfation. But now it is become no lefs dan- 
 ' gerous than it was before defirable : vice has learned 
 ' lb to mimic virtue, that it often creeps in thither un- 
 
 * der its difguife. See there ! juft before you, Revenge 
 ' (talking by, habited in the robe of Honour. Obferve 
 ' not far fiom him Ambition (landing alone; if you afk 
 
 * him his name, he will tell you it is Emulation or Glo- 
 ' ry. But the mod frequent intruder we have is Luft, 
 ' who fucceeds now the deity to whom in better days 
 ' this grove was intirely devoted. Virtuous Love, with 
 ' Hymen, and the graces attending him, once reigned 
 ' in this happy place; a whole train of virtues waited 
 ' on him, and no dishonourable thought durft prefume 
 
 * for admittance: But now ! how is the whole profpecl 
 f changed ? and how feldom renewed by fome few who 
 ' dare defpife fordid wealth, and imagine themfelves fit 
 ' companions for fo charming a divinity? 
 
 ' THE goddefs had no fooner faid thus, but we were 
 < arrived at the utmod boundaries of the wood, which 
 1 lay contiguous to a plain that ended at the foot of the 
 ' mountain. Here I kept clofe to my guide, being foli- 
 ' cited by feveral phantoms, who aflured me they would 
 ' (hew me a nearer way to the mountain of the mufes. 
 
 * Among the reft Vanity was extremely importunate, 
 ' having deluded infinite numbers, whom I faw wander - 
 ' ing at the foot of the hill. I turned away from this 
 
 * defpicable troop with difdain, andaddrefling myfelfto 
 ' my guide, told her, that as I had fome hopes I (hould 
 
 * be able to reach up part of the afcent, fo I defpaired of 
 ' having ftrength enough to attain the plain on the top. 
 ' But being informed by her that it was impoffible to 
 
 * (land upon the fides, and that if I did not proceed on- 
 
 * wards, I (hould irrecoverably fall down to the lowed 
 ' verge, I refolved to hazard any labour and hardihip 
 « in the attempt: fo great a defire had 1 of enjoying 
 1 the fatisfaftion I hoped to meet with at the end of 
 ' my enterprife! 
 
 ' THERE were two paths ; which led up by different 
 
 * ways 
 
MO 5 J4 . THE SPECTATOR. -161 
 
 ways to the fummit of the mountain; the one v/as 
 guarded by the genius which prefides over the moment 
 of our bulbs. He had it in charge to examine the fe- 
 veral preienhons of thofe who defired topafsthatway, 
 but ro admit none excepting thofe only on whom Mel- 
 pomene had looked with a propitious eye at the hour 
 of their nativity. The other way was guarded by Di- 
 ligence, to whom many of thofe perfons applied who 
 had met with a denial the other way ; but he was fo 
 tedious in granting their requeit, and indeed after ad- 
 mittance the way was fo very intricate and laborious, 
 that rrcny after they had made fome progrefs, chofe 
 rather to return back, than proceed, and very few per- 
 fiftcd fo long as to arrive at the end they propofed. 
 Befides t;efe two paths, which at length feverallyled 
 to the top of the mountain, there was a third made up 
 of thefe two, which a little after the entrance joined 
 in one. This carried thofe happy few, whofe good 
 fortune it was to find it, directly to the throne of A- 
 pollo. I do not know whether I mould even now have 
 had the refolution to have demanded entrance at ei- 
 ther of thefe doors, had I not feen a peafant-like man 
 (followed by a numerous and lovely train of youths of 
 both fexes) infill upon entrance for all whom he led 
 up. He put me in mind of the country clown who is 
 painted in the map for leading prince Eugene over 
 the Alps. He had a bundle of papers in his hand, and 
 producing feveral, which, he faid, were given to him 
 b5' hands which he knew Apollo would allow as paf- 
 fes ; among which, methought, I faw fome of my own 
 writing. The whole affembly was admitted, and gave, 
 by their prefence, a new beauty and pleafure to thefe 
 happy manfions. 1 found the man did not pretend 
 to enter himfelf, but ferved as a kind of forefter in the 
 lawns to direct paifengers, who by their own merit, 
 or inftructions he procured for them, had virtue e- 
 nough to travel that way. I looked very attentively 
 upon this kind homely benefactor, and forgive me, 
 Mr. Spectator, if I own to you I took him for 
 yourfelf. We were no fooner entered, but we were 
 fprinkled three times with water of the fountain of 
 Aganippe, which had power to deliver us from all 
 
 ' Karros j 
 
l62 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. N°Ji4. 
 
 harms, but only envy, which reacheth even to the 
 end of our journey. We had not proceeded far in the 
 middle path when we arrived at the fummit of the 
 hill, where there immediately appeared to us two fi- 
 gures, which extremely engaged my attention : the 
 one was a young nymph in the prime of her youth and 
 beauty ; (he had wings on her (boulders and feet, and 
 was able to tranfport herfelf to the moft diftant regi- 
 ons in the frnalleft fpace of time. She was continual- 
 ly varying her drefs, fometimes into the molt natural 
 and becoming habits in the world, and at others into 
 the moll: wild and freakifh garb that can be imagined. 
 There flood by her a man full-aged, and of great gra- 
 vity, who corrected her inconilftencies, by (hewing 
 them in this mirrour, and ftill flung her affected and 
 unbecoming ornaments down the mountain, which 
 fell in the plan below, and were gathered up and wore 
 with great fatisfaclion by thofe that inhabited it. The 
 name cf the nymph was Fancy, the daughter of Li- 
 berty, the rnofl beautiful of all the mountain-nymphs. 
 The other was Judgment, the offspring of Time, and 
 the only child he acknowlegcd to be his. A youth, 
 who fat upon a throne juft between them, was their 
 genuine offspring ; his name was Wit, and his feat 
 was compofed of the works of the moft celebrated 
 authors. I could not but fee with a fecret joy, that 
 though the Greeks and Romans made the majority, 
 yet our own countrymen were the next both in num- 
 ber and dignity. I was now at liberty to take a full 
 profpecl of that delightful region ; I wasinfpired with 
 new vigour and life, and faw every thing in nobler 
 and more pleafing views than before; I breathed a 
 purer aether in a fky which was a continued azure, 
 gilded with perpetual fun -fhine. The two femmits of 
 the mountain rofe on each fide, and formed in the 
 midft a moft delicious vale, the habitation of the muf- 
 es, and of fuch as had compofed works worthy of im- 
 mortality. Apollo was feated upon a throne of gold, 
 and for a canopy an aged laurel fpread its boughs and 
 its (hade over his head. His bow and quiver lay at 
 his feet. He held his harp in his hand, whilft the 
 ( raufes round aboutbim celebrated with hymns his ei- 
 
 t ftory 
 
K0 JM . THE SPECTATOR. 163 
 
 ' dory over the ferpent Python, and fometimes fung 
 ' in foiter notes the loves of Leucothoe andDaphnis. 
 ' Homer, Virgil, and Milton were feated the next to 
 ' them. Behind were a great number of others, among 
 ' whom 1 was furprifed to fee fome in the habit of Lap- 
 ' landers, who, notwithftanding the uncouthnefs of 
 ' their drefs, had lately obtained a place upon the 
 'mountain. 1 faw Pindar walking all alone, no one 
 ' daring to accoit him, 'till Cowley joined himfelf to 
 ' him ; but growing weary of one who almoft walked 
 
 * him out of breath, he left him for Horace and Anacre- 
 1 on, with whom he feemed infinitely delighted. 
 
 ' A LITTLE further I faw anothergroupe of figures: 
 ' I made up to them, and found it was Socrates dictat- 
 
 * ing to Xenophon, and the fpirit of Plato ; but moft 
 ' of all, Mufaeus had the greateft audience about him, 
 
 * I was at too great a diftance to hear what he faid, or 
 
 * to difcover the faces of his hearers ; only I thought 
 'I now perceived Virgil, who had joined^them, and 
 ' ftood in a pofture full of admiration at the harmony 
 ' of his words. 
 
 * LASTLY, At the very brink of the hill I fawBoc- 
 ' calini fending difpatches to the World below of what 
 
 * happened upon ParnafTus : but I perceived he did it 
 ' without leave of the mufes, and by ftealth, and was 
 
 * unwilling to have them revifed by Apollo. I could 
 ' now from this height and ferene iky behold thein- 
 ' finite cares and anxieties with which mortals below 
 < fought out their way through the maze of life. I faw 
 ' the path of virtue lie (traight before them, whilfl in- 
 ' tereu, or fome malicious demon, (till hurried them 
 
 * out of the way. I was at once touched with pleafure 
 ' at my own happinefs, and compallion at the fight of 
 ' their inextricable errors. Here the two contending 
 6 paffions rofe fo high, that they were inconfiftent with 
 
 * the fweet repofe I enjoyed, and awaking with a fudden 
 ( ftart, the only confolation I could admit of for my 
 ' lofs, was the hopes that this relation of my dream 
 ' will not difpleafe you, T 
 
 TuefJay, 
 
164 THE SPECTATOR. N° 5 i5, 
 
 N° 5 1 5 . Tuefday, OBobcr 2 1 . 
 
 Pudet me et miferet, qui harum mores cantabat -mihi y 
 Monuijfe fruftra Ter.Heaut. Ad. 2. Sc. 2. 
 
 I am ajharned and grieved, that 1 neglected his advice, 
 •who* gave me the character of thefe creatures. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 I AM obliged to you for printing the account I late- 
 ly fent you of a coquette who diiturbed a fober con- 
 gregation in the city of London. Thatintelligence 
 ended at her taking coach, and bidding the driver go 
 where he knew. I could not leave her fo, but dogged 
 her, as hard as flie drove, to Paul's church-yard, where 
 there was a (top of coaches attending company coming 
 out of the cathedral. This gave mc opportunity to 
 hold up a crown to her coachman, who gave me the 
 fignal, that he would hurry on, and make no hafte, as 
 you know the way is when they favour a chafe. By 
 his many kind blunders, driving againft other coaches, 
 and flipping of fome of his tackle, I could keep up with 
 him, and lodged my fine lady in the parifh of St. 
 James's. As I guefled when I firfl fawher at church, 
 her bufinefs is to win hearts and throw them away, 
 regarding nothing but the triumph. I have had the 
 happinefs, by tracing her through all with whom I 
 heard flie was acquainted, to find one who was inti- 
 mate with a friend of mine, and to be introduced to 
 her notice. I have made fo goodufe of my time, as to 
 procure from that intimate of hers one of her letters, 
 which (he writ to her when in the country. This e- 
 piftle of her own may ferve to alarm the world againit 
 all her ordinary life, as mine, I hope did thofe, who 
 lhall behold her at church. The letter was written 
 laft winter to the lady who gave it me ; and I doubt 
 not but you will find it the foul of an happy felf-lov- 
 
 ' ins 
 
N°5I5- THE SPECTATOR. 165 
 
 ' ing dame, that takes all the admiration me can meet 
 1 with, and returns none of it in love to her admirers. 
 
 Dear Jenny, 
 a T AM glad to find you are likely to be difpofed of in 
 " X marriage fomuch to your approbation as you tell 
 " me. You fay you are afraid only of me,for I mall laugh 
 " at your fpoufe's airs. I beg of you not to fear it, for 
 (t I am too nice a difcerner to laugh at any, but whom 
 " molt other people think fine feilows; fo that your 
 *' dear may bring you hither as foon as his horfes are in 
 " cafe enough to appear in town, and ) f ou be very fafe 
 ft againft any rallery you may apprehend from me ; for 
 " lam furrounded with coxcombs of my own making, 
 " who are all ridiculous in a manner your good-man, 
 " I prefume, cannot exert himfelf. As men who cannot 
 " raife their fortunes, and are uneafy under the incapa- 
 " city of mining at court, rail at ambition ; fo do auk- 
 " ward and infipid women, who cannot warm the hearts 
 '•' and charm the eyes of men, rail at affeclation : but 
 " fhe that has the joy of feeing a man's heart leap into 
 " his eyes at beholding her, is in no pain for want of 
 u efteem among a crew of that part of her own fex, who 
 " have no fpiritbut that of envy, and no language but 
 '' that of malice. I do not in this, I hope, exprefs my- 
 u fell" infenfible of the merit of Leodacia, who lowers 
 " her beauty to all but her hufband, and never fp reads 
 " her charms but to gladden him who has a right in 
 " them : I fay, I do honour to thofe who can be co- 
 " quettes, and are not fuch ; but I defpife all who would 
 " be fo, and in defpair of arriving at it themfelves, hate 
 ." and vilify all thofe who can. But, be that as it will, in 
 '* anfwer to your defire of knowing my hiftory : One 
 " of my chief prefent pleafures is in country-dances: 
 a and, in obedience to me, as well as the pleafure of 
 it coming up to me with a good grace, (hewing them- 
 f* felves in their addrefs to others in my prefence, and 
 il toe like opportunities, they are all proficients that 
 "way: And I had the happinefs of being the other 
 iC night where we made fix couple, and every woman's 
 i( partner a profeffed lover of mine. The wildeft ima- 
 (( gination cannot form to itfelf on any occafion, higher 
 
 ■" delight 
 
166 THE SPECTATOR. N°$if. 
 
 il delight than I acknowlege myfelf to have been in all 
 " that evening. I chofe out of my admirers a fet of 
 " men who moft love me, and gave them partners of 
 f fuch of my own fex who moft envied me. 
 
 "MY way is, when any man who is my admirer 
 ". pretends to give himfelf airs of merit, as at this time 
 " a certain gentleman you know did, to mortify him 
 " by favouring in his prcfence the moft infignificant 
 " creature I can find. At this ball I was led Into the 
 " company by pretty Mr. Fanfly, who, you know, is 
 " the moft obfequious, well-fhaped, well-bred woman's 
 K man in town. I at firft entrance declared him my 
 " partner if 1 danced at all ; which put the whole af- 
 " fembly into a grin, as forming no terrors from fuch a 
 " rival. But we had not been long in the room, before 
 ". I overheard the meritorious gentleman above-menti- 
 u oned fay with an oath, There is no rallery in the 
 i( thing, me certainly loves the puppy. My gentleman, 
 " when we were dancing, took an occailon to be very 
 " foft in his oglings upon a lady he danced with, and 
 " whom he knew of all women I love moft to outmine. 
 " The conteft began who fhould plague the other moft. 
 " I, who do not care a farthing for him, had no hard 
 " tafk to outvex him. I made Fanfly, with a very little 
 11 encouragement, cut capers coupee, and then fink with 
 u all the air and tendernefs imaginable. When he per- 
 " formed this, I obferved the gentleman you know of 
 " fall into the fame way, and imitate as well as he 
 " could the defpifed Fanfly. I cannot well give yon, 
 te who are fo grave a country lady, the idea of the joy 
 u we have when we fee a ftubborn heart breaking, or a 
 " man of fenfe turningfool for our fakes ; but this hap- 
 " pened to our friend, and I expect his attendance 
 " whenever I go to church, to court, to the play, or the 
 " park. This is a facrifice due to us women of genius, 
 " who have the eloquence of beauty, an eafy mien. I 
 " mean by an eafy mien, one which can be on occafion 
 " eaflly affecled : For I muft tell you, dear Jenny, I 
 " hold one maxim, which is an uncommon one, to wit, 
 ii That our greateft charms are owing to affectation . 
 " It is to that our arms can lodge fo quietly juft over 
 i( our hips, and the fan can play without any force or 
 
 " mo- 
 
N°5i;. THE SPECTATOR. 16*7 
 
 " motion but juft of the wrift. It is to affectation we 
 il owe the penlive attention of Deidamia at a tragedy, 
 '* the fcornfiil approbation of Dulcimara at a comedy, 
 " and the lowly afpect of Lanquicelfa at a fermon. 
 
 " TO tell you the plain truth, I know no pleafure 
 ** but in being admired, and have yet never failed of at- 
 " taining the approbation of the man whole regard I 
 <l had a mind to. You fee all the men who make afi- 
 " gure in the world (as wife a look as they arc pleafed 
 " to put upon the matter) are moved by the fame vani- 
 " ty as I am. What is there in ambition, but to make 
 " other people's wills depend upon yours ? This indeed 
 11 is not to be aimed at by one who has a genius no 
 " higher than to think of being a very good houfewife 
 " in a country gentleman's family. The care of poul- 
 " try and pigs are great enemies to the countenance : 
 " the vacant look of a fine lady is not to be preferved, 
 " if (lie admits any thing to take up her thoughts but 
 " her own dear perfon. But I interrupt you too long 
 '* from your cares, and myfelf from my conquefts. 
 
 / am, MADAM, 
 
 Tour moft humble fervant . 
 
 'GIVE me leave, Mr. Spectator, to add her 
 ' friend's anfwer to this epiftle, who is a very difcreet 
 ' ingenious woman. 
 
 Dear Gatty, 
 
 " T TAKE your rallery in very good part, and am 
 " A obliged to you for the free air with which you 
 <l fpeak of your own gaieties. But this is but a barren 
 " fuperficial pleafure. Indeed, Gatty, we are made for 
 " man, and in ferious fadnefs I muft tell you, whether 
 " you yourfelf know it or no, all thefe gallantries tend 
 " to no other end but to be a wife and mother as fall 
 " as you can. 
 
 / am, MAD AM, 
 
 T Tour tnofl bumble fervant, 
 
 Wednefclay, 
 
168 THE SPECTATOR. N3;i6, 
 
 N-° 516. IVednefday, OBober 22. 
 
 Jmmortale odium et nunquam fanabile vulnus . 
 Inde furor vulgo, quo J minima vicinorum 
 Odit titer que locus, qtiwn folos credit habcndos 
 
 Effe deos quos ipfe colit Juv. Sat 15. v. 34. 
 
 A grutch, time out of mind, begun, 
 
 An 1 mutually bequeathed from fire to'fon : 
 Re'igiomfpite', and pious Jpleen bred fir [I 
 The quarrel, which fo long the bigots nttrft : 
 Each calls the other's god a fenfelefs flock ; 
 His own 7 divine. Tate. 
 
 F all the monftrous paffions and opinions which 
 have crept into the world, there is none fo 
 wonderful as that thofe who profefs the com- 
 mon name of Chriflians, mould purfue each other with 
 rancour and hatred for differences in their way of fol- 
 lowing the example of their Saviour. It feems fo natu- 
 ral that all who purfue the fleps of any leader mould 
 form themfelves after his manners, that it is impoffrble 
 to account for effe els fo different from what we might 
 expect from thofe who profefs themfelves followers of 
 the higheft pattern of meeknefs and charity, but by ai- 
 cribing fuch effects to the ambition and corruption of 
 thofe who arefo audacious, with fouls full of fury, to 
 fcrve at the altars of the God of peace. 
 
 THE maffacres to which the church of Rome has a- 
 ftimatcd the ordinary people, are dreadful inftances of 
 the truth of this obfervation ; and whoever reads the 
 hiftory of the Trim rebellion, and the cruelties which 
 en fired thereupon, will be fufficiently convinced to 
 what rage poor ignorants may be worked up by 
 thofe who profefs holinefs, and become incendiar'es, 
 and, under the difpenfation of grace, promote evils 
 abhorrent to nature. 
 
 THIS fubject and cataftrophe, which deferve fo 
 well to be remarked by the pro u flint world, will, I 
 
 doubt 
 
M*5*.f< THE SPECTATOR. 169 
 
 doubt not, be confidered by the reverend and learned 
 prelate that preaches to-morrow before many of the 
 defcendants of thofe who perifhed on-that lamentable 
 day, in a manner fuitable to the oecafion, and worthy 
 Ins own great virtue and eloquence. 
 
 I SHALL not dwell upon it any further, but only 
 tranfcribe out of a litle tract, called, The Qhriftian 
 hero, publifhed in 1701, what I find there in hon~j- 
 of the renowned hero William III. who refcued that 
 nation from the repetition of the fame difallers. His 
 late majefty, of glorious memory, and the molt Clin- 
 ician king, are considered at the conclnfion of that 
 treatife as heads of the Protellant and Roman catho- 
 lic world in the following manner. 
 
 '' THERE were not ever, before the entrance of the 
 ' Chriftian name into the world, men who have main- 
 
 * tained a more renowned carriage, than the two great 
 .'* rivals who poflefs the full fame of the prefent age, 
 
 ' and will be the theme and examination of the future. 
 ' They are exactly formed by nature for thofe ends to 
 ( which heaven feems to have fent them among ft us-: 
 
 * both animated with a reftlefs dellre of glory, but pur-. 
 1 fue it by different means, and with different motives. 
 ' To one it conliftsin an extenfive undifputed empire 
 ' over his fubjects, to the other in their rational and 
 *■ voluntary obedience-:- one's happinefs is founded in 
 ' their want of power, the other's in their want of de- 
 ' fire to oppofe him. The one enjoys the fummit of 
 
 * fortune with the luxury of a Perfian, the other with 
 
 * the moderation of a Spartan. One is made to op- 
 ' prefs, the other to relieve the oppreffed ; the one 
 
 * is fatisfied with the pomp and oftentation of power 
 ' to prefer and debafe his inferiors, the other delight- 
 ' ed only with the caufe and foundation- of it to 
 ' cherim and protect them. To one therefore religi- 
 
 * on is but a convenient difguife, to the other a vi- 
 ' gorous motive of aclion. 
 
 < FOR without fuch tics of real and folid honour, 
 ' there is no way of forming a monarch, but after the 
 "' Machiavillian fcheme, by which a prince mult ever 
 c item to have all virtues, but really" to be mailer of 
 *' none; but is to be liberal, merciful, and juft.only as 
 
 VOL. VII. H < they 
 
170 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. NO516. 
 
 they ferve his interefls; while, with the noble art 
 of hypocrify, empire would be to be extended, 
 and new conquefts be made by new devices, by 
 which prompt addrefs his creatures might infen- 
 fibly give law in the bufinefs of life, by leading 
 men in the entertainment of it. 
 ' T HUS when words and (how are apt to pafs for 
 the fubllantial things they are only to expvefs, there 
 would need no more to enflave a country but to adorn 
 a court; for while every man's vanity makes him 
 believe himfelf capable of becoming luxury, enjoy- 
 ments are a ready bait for fufferings, and the hopes 
 of preferment invitations to fervitude ; which flavery 
 would be coloured with all the agreements, as they 
 call it, imaginable. The noblefr. arts and artiits, the 
 fin eft pens and rnoft elegant minds, jointly employed 
 to fet it oif, with the various embelliihments of fump- 
 tuous entertainments, charming arTemblies, andpo- 
 lifhed difconrfes ; and thofe apoftate abilities of men, 
 the adored monarch might profufely and lkilfully en- 
 courage, while they flatter h-is virtue, and gild his 
 vice at fo high a rate, that he, without fcorn of the 
 one, or love of the other, would alternately and oc- 
 cafionally ufe both : fo that his bounty fliould fup- 
 port him in his rapines, bis mercy in his cruelties. 
 'NOR is it to give things a more fevere look than 
 is natural, to fuppofe fuch muft be the confequenccs 
 of a prince's having no other purfuit than that of his 
 own glory; for if we conhder an infant born into 
 the world, and beholding itfelf the mightieft thing in 
 it, itfelf the prefent admiration and future profpecT 
 of a fawning people, whaprofefs themfelves great or 
 mean, according to the figure he is to make amongft 
 
 hem, what fancy would not be debauched to believe 
 hey were but what they profefled themfelves, his 
 mere creatures, and ufe them as fuch by purchafmg 
 with their lives a boundlefs renown, which he, for 
 want of a more juft pfofpecl, would place in the 
 number of his Haves, and the extent of his territo- 
 ries ? Such undoubtedly would be the tragical eifecls 
 of a prince's living with no religion, which are not 
 to be furparTed bit by his having a falfe one. 
 
 1 ■ IF 
 
N 5<6. THE SPECTATOR. 171 
 
 1 IF ambition were fpirited with zeal, what would 
 
 * follow, but that bis people fhould be converted into 
 
 < an army, whole (words can make right in power v 
 1 and folve controverfy in belief? And if men fhould 
 
 < be IHfT-necked to the doclrine of that viflble churcb, 
 
 * let them be contented with an oar and a chain, in 
 
 * the midfl of flripes and anguifh, to contemplate on 
 
 * him, whofs yoke is eafy, and vohofe burden is light. 
 
 ' WITH a tyranny begun on his own fubjects, and 
 
 < indignation that others draw their breath independ- 
 1 eitt of his frown or fmile, why fhould he not proceed 
 
 * to the feizure of the world ? And if nothing but the 
 4 thirft of fway were the motive of his actions, why 
 ' fhould treaties be other than mere words, or folemn 
 ' national compacts be any thing but an halt in the 
 ' march of that army, who are never to lay down their 
 
 * arms, till all men are reducd to the neceffity of hang- 
 ' ing their lives on his wayward will ; who might fu- 
 ' pinely, and at Icifure, expiate his own fins by other 
 
 * mens fufferings, while he daily meditates new flaugh- 
 i tcr, and new conquelt ? 
 
 ' FOR mere man, when giddy with unbridled power, 
 
 * is an infatiate idol, not to be appeafedwith myriad; 
 ' offered to his pride, which may be puffed up by the 
 
 * adulation of a bafe and proftrate world, into an opi- 
 ' nion that he is fomething more than human, by be- 
 
 * ing fomething lefs : and, alas, what is there that mor- 
 
 * tal man will not believe of himfelf, when compli- 
 
 * mented with the attributes of God ? He can then 
 
 * conceive thoughts of a power as omniprefent as his* 
 
 * But fhould there be fuch a foe of mankind now upon 
 
 * earth, have our fins fo far provoked heaven, that we 
 
 * are left utterly naked to his fury ? Is there no 
 i power, no leader, no genius, that can conduct and 
 
 * animate us to our death or our defence . ? Yes ; our 
 
 < great God never gave one to reign by his permiflion, 
 
 * but he gave to another alfo to reign by his grace. 
 
 'ALL the circumflances of the illuftrious life of 
 ' our prince feem to have confpired to make him the 
 
 * check and bridle of tyranny ; for his mind has been 
 
 < ftrengthened and confirmed by one continual ftruggle, 
 
 * and heaven has educated him by adverfity to a quick 
 
 H 2 < fenfe 
 
172 THE SPECTATOR. NOjitf. 
 
 « fenfe of the diftrefTes and miferies of mankind, which 
 
 < he was born to redrefs : in juft fcorn of the trivial 
 ' glories and light oftentations of power> that glorious 
 <■ inftrument of providence moves, like that, in a fted- 
 
 ■'* dy, calm, and filent courfe, independent either of 
 'f applaufe or calumny ; which renders him, if not in 
 e a political, yet in a moral, a philofophic, an heroic, 
 ' and a Chriuian fenfe, an abfolute monarch ; who, 
 
 * fatisfied with this unchangeable, julr, and ample glo- 
 
 < ry, muft needs turn all his regards for himfelf to the 
 1 fervice of others ; for he begins his enterprizes with 
 "■* his own fhare in the fuccefs of them ; for integrity 
 ' bears in itfelf its reward, nor can that which depends 
 
 * not on event ever know difappointment. 
 
 * WITH the undoubted character of a glorious cap- 
 
 < tain, and (what he much more values than the mod 
 
 < fplendid titles) that of a fincere and honeft man, he 
 
 < is the hope and ftay of Europe, an univerfal good 
 
 * not to be engroffed by us only, for diftant potentates 
 
 * implore his friendship, and injured empires court his 
 
 < afliftance. He rules the world, not by an invafion 
 
 * of the people of the earth, but the addrefs of its 
 
 < princes ; and if that world fhould be again ronfed 
 
 * from the repofe which his prevailing arms had given 
 ' it, why mould we not hope that there is an Almigh- 
 
 * ty, by whofe influence the terrible enemy that thinks 
 « himfelf prepared for battle, may find he is but ripe 
 1 for deftruclion ? and that there may be in the womb 
 
 * of time great incidents, which may make the cata- 
 ' ftropheof aprofperous life as unfortunate as the par- 
 ' ticular fcenes of it were fuccefsful ? For there does 
 
 < not want a fliilful eye and refolute arm to obferve 
 ' and grafp the occafion : a prince who from — 
 
 < Fuit Ilium et ingens 
 
 * Gloria ' Virg. JEn. 2. v. 325:. 
 
 ( Troy is no more, and Ilium was a town. 
 
 Dryden. 
 
 Thurfdaji 
 
NO 517. THE SPECTATOR. 173 
 
 N° 517. Thurfday, OBober 23. 
 
 Hen pie t as ! heu prifca fides ! 
 
 Virg. JEn. 6. v. 878. 
 Mirrotir of antient faith ! 
 Undaunted worth ! inviolable truth ! Dryden. 
 
 WE laft night received a piece of ill news at our 
 club, which very fenflbly afflicted every one 
 of us. I queftion not but my readers them- 
 felves v/ill be troubled at the hearing of it. To keep 
 them no longer in fufpence, Sir Roger de CovERLEy 
 is dead- He departed this life at his houfe in the 
 country, after a few weeks ficknefs. Sir Andrew 
 Freeport has a letter from one of his correfpondents 
 in thofe parts, that informs him the old man caught a 
 cold at the county-feffions, as he was very warmly 
 promoting an addrefs of his own penning, in which he 
 fucceeded according to his wifties. But this particu- 
 lar comes from a whig juftice of peace, who was al- 
 ways Sir Roger's enemy andantagonift. I have let- 
 ters both from the chaplain and captain Sentry \:hich 
 mention nothing of it, but are filled with many parti- 
 culars to the honour of the good old man. I have 
 likewife a letter from the butler, who took fo much 
 care of me laft fummer when I was at the knight's 
 houfe. As my friend the butler mentions, in the fim- 
 plicity of his heart, feveral cirenmftances the others 
 have pafTed over in filence, I mail give my reader a 
 copy of his letter, without any alteration or dimi- 
 nution. 
 
 Honoured Sir, 
 
 1 T7* NOWING that you was my old mailer's good 
 ' j^. friend, I could not forbear lending you the me- 
 ' lancholy news of his death, which has afflicted the 
 
 * whole country, as well as his poor fervants, who 
 
 * loved him, I may fay, better than we did our lives. 
 
 H 5 'lam 
 
V74 THE SPECTATOR. tfWjtfy. 
 
 < I am afraid he caught his death the laft county-fef- 
 
 < fions, where he would go to fee juftice done to a 
 ' poor widow woman, and her fatherlefs children, 
 ' that had been wronged by a neighbouring gentleman ; 
 
 < for you know, Sir, my good mafter was always the 
 
 < poor man's friend. Upon his coming home, the firfl 
 
 * complaint he made was, that he had loft his roft- 
 
 < beef ftomach, not being able to touch a firloin, 
 
 < which was ferved up according to cuftom ; and you 
 ' know he ufed to take great delight in it. From that 
 'time forward he grew worfe and worfe, but ftill kept 
 
 * a good heart to the laft. Indeed we were once in 
 4 great hope of his recovery? upon a kind meflage 
 '.that was lent him from the widow lady whom he had 
 ' made love to the forty Lift years of his life ; but this 
 'only proved a lightning before death. He has be- 
 
 < queathed to this lady, as a token of his love, a great 
 'pearl necklace, and a couple of filver bracelets fet 
 
 < with jeweis, which belonged to my good old lady 
 *■ his mother : he has bequeathed the fine white geld- 
 '.ing, that he ufed to ride a hunting upon, to his 
 'chaplain, becaufe he thought he would be kind to 
 'him, and has left you all his books. He has, more- 
 ' over, bequeathed to the chaplain a very pretty tene- 
 
 < ment with good lands about it. It being a very cold 
 
 * day when he made his will, he left for mourning, to 
 
 < every man in the parim, a great frize-coat, and to 
 
 < every woman, a black riding-hood. It was a moil 
 
 * moving fight to fee him take leave of his poor fer- 
 
 < vants, commending us all for our fidelity, whilft we 
 
 < were not able to JTpeak a word for weeping. As 
 « we mod of us are grown gray-headed in our dear ma- 
 
 < fter's fervice, he has left us penfions and legacies, 
 
 < which we may live very comfortably upon the remain- 
 ' ing part of our days. He has bequeathed a great deal 
 '. more in charity, which is not yet come to my know- 
 ' lege, and it is peremptorily faid in the parifh, that 
 
 < he has left money to build a fteeple to the church ; 
 
 < for he was heard to fay fome time ago, that if heliv- 
 
 < ed two years longer, Coverly church fhould have a 
 « fteeple to it. The chaplain tells every body that he 
 
 < made a, very good end, and never fpeaks of him with- 
 
 ' out 
 
N°ji7. THE SPECTATOR. 175 
 
 * out tears. He was buried, according to his own di- 
 rections, among the family of the Coveslies, on, 
 
 * the left hand of his father Sir Arthur. The coffin 
 
 * was carried by fix of his tenants, and the pall held 
 ' up by fix of the quorum : the whole parifti followed 
 ' the corpfe with heavy hearts, and in their mourning 
 ' fuits, the men in frize, and the women in ridhig- 
 
 * hoods. Captain Sentry, my mailer's nephew, has 
 ' taken poffefTion of the hall-houfe, and the whole 
 ' eftate. When my old mafter faw him a little before 
 
 * his death, he fhook him by the hand, and wiflied him 
 'joy of the eftate which was falling to him, defiring 
 
 * him only to make a good ufe of it, and to pay the 
 
 * feveral legacies, and the gifts of charity whicli he 
 
 * told him he had left as quit-rents upon the eftate. 
 ? The captain truly feems a courteous man, though he 
 ' fays but little. He makes much of thofe whom ray 
 
 * mafter loved, and fhews great kindnefies to the old 
 ' houfe-dog, that you know my poor mafter was fo 
 ' fond of. It would have gone to your heart to have 
 ' heard the moans the dumb creature made on the day 
 
 * of my matter's death. He has never joyed himfelf 
 1 fince ; no more has any of us. It was the melancho- 
 
 * lieft day for the poor people that ever happened ia 
 
 * Worcefterfhire. This is all from, 
 
 Honoured Sir, 
 
 Tour moft forrov:ful fervanly 
 
 Edward Bifcuit. 
 
 P. S. * M Y mafter defired, fome weeks before he 
 1 died, that a book which comes up to you by the car- 
 ' rier fhould be given to Sir Andrew Freeport, in 
 1 his name. 
 
 THIS letter, notwithftanding the poor butler's 
 manner of writing it, gave us fuch an idea of our good 
 old friend, that upon the reading of it there was not 
 a dry eye in the club. Sir Andrew opening the book, 
 found it to be a collection of acts of parliament. There 
 was in particular the act of uniformity, with fome 
 H 4 pafTages 
 
i 7 6 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 NO 5 1 8. 
 
 pafiagcs in it marked by Sir Roger's own hand. Sir 
 Andrew found that they related to two or three points, 
 which he had difputed with Sir Roger the laft time he 
 appeared at the club. Sir Andrew, who would have 
 been merry at fuch art incident on another occafl- 
 oh, at the fight of the old man's hand-writing burft 
 into tears, and put the book into his pocket. Captain 
 Sentry informs me, that the knight has left rings 
 .and mourning for every one in the chub. O 
 
 N°5i8. Friday , Offober 24. 
 
 ■Miferum eft alienae incumber e famae 
 
 Ne collapfa ruant fubduclis tecla columnis. 
 
 Juv. Sat. 8. v. 76. 
 '77.r poor relying on another's fame ; 
 For, take the pillars but away, and all 
 The fuperftru [lure mufl in ruins falL Stepney. 
 
 THIS being a day of bufinefs with me, I mud 
 make the prefent entertainment like a treat at 
 an houfc- warming, out of fuch prefents as have 
 been fent me by my guefts. The firft difh which I 
 fcrve up is a letter come frefli to my hand. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 ' IT is with inexpreflible forrow that I hear of the 
 ' *■ death of good Sir Roger, and do heartily con- 
 ' dole with you upon fo melancholy an occaflon. I 
 ' think you ought to have blackened the edges of a 
 ' paper which brought us fo ill news, and to have had 
 
 * it uamped likewife in black. It is expected of you 
 ' that you fhonld write his epitaph, and, if poflible, 
 ' fill his place in the club with as worthy and diverting 
 ' a member. I queflion not but you will receive many 
 
 * recommendations from the public of fuch as will ap- 
 ' pear candidates for that port, 
 
 'SINCE 
 
N°5iS- THE SPECTATOR. 177 
 
 \ SINCE I am talking of death, and have menfion- 
 5 ed an epitaph, I mull tell you, Sir, that 1 have made 
 ' difcovery of a church-yard in which I believe you 
 ' might fpend an afternoon, with great pleafure to 
 
 * yourfelf and to the public : it belongs'to the church 
 ' of Stebon-Heath, commonly called Stepney. Whe- 
 ' ther or no it be that the people of that parifh have a 
 
 * particular genius for an epitaph, or that there be 
 ' fome poet among them who undertakes that work by 
 ' the great, I cannot tell ; but there are more remark- 
 
 * able infcriptions in that place than in any other I 
 
 * have met with ; and I may fay without vanity, that 
 
 * there is not a gentleman in England better read in 
 
 * tomb-ftones than myfelf, myftudies having laid ve- 
 
 * ry much in church-yards. I (hall beg leave to fend 
 
 * you a couple of epitaphs, for a fample of thofe I have 
 ' juft now mentioned. They are written in a differ- 
 ' ent manner ; the firft being in the difFufed and lux- 
 ' uriant, the fecond in the clofe contracted (lile. The 
 ' firft has much of the fimple and pathetic ; the fecond 
 ' is fomething light, but nervous. The firft is thus : 
 
 Here Thomas Sapper lies interred. Ah why .' 
 Born in New England, did in London die ; 
 Was the third for. of eight, begot upon 
 His mother Martha by his father John. 
 Much favoured by his prince he 'gan to be, 
 But nipt by death at th' age of twenty-three. 
 Fatah to him was that wefnall-pox name, 
 By which his mother and two brethren came 
 Alfo to breathe their laft nine years before, 
 And now have left th sir father to deplore 
 The lofs of all his children, with his wife t 
 Who was the joy and comfort of his life. 
 
 The fecond is as follows : 
 
 Here lies the body of Daniel Saul, 
 Spittle-fields weaver, and that's all. 
 
 ' I will not difmifs you, whilft I am upon this fub- 
 ' jec~t, without fending a fhort epitaph which I once 
 
 * met with, though I cannot poffibly recoiled the 
 ' place. The thought of it is ferious, "and in mv opi- 
 
 H 5 ' nion, 
 
I7& THE SPECTATOR. NOji8. 
 
 * nion, the fineft that I ever met with upon this occa- 
 
 * fion. You know, Sir, it is ufual, after having told 
 f us the name of the perfon who lies interred, to 
 
 * launch out into his praifes. This epitaph takes a 
 
 * quite contrary turn, having keen made by the per- 
 *fon himfelf fo.ru e time before his death. 
 
 HicjacetR.C in expeftatione diei fapremi . Qua- 
 ils erat dies ifie indie abit. 
 
 * Here Iieth R. C. in expectation of the laft day, 
 
 * What fort of a man he was, that day will difeover. 
 
 I am, SIR, etc. 
 
 The following letter is dated froto Cambridge. 
 
 SIR, 
 
 * TTAVING lately read among yourfpecuktionS;- 
 i Xx an effay upon phyfiognomy, I cannot but think 
 *. that if you made a vifit to thi& antient univerfity,, 
 
 * you might receive very confiderable lights upon that 
 
 * lubjecl, there being fcarce a young fellow in it who 
 
 * does not give certain indications of his particular hu- 
 
 * mour and difpolition. conformable to the rules of 
 
 * that art. In courts and cities every body lays a 
 
 * conflraint upon his countenance, and endeavours to> 
 
 * look like the red of the world ;. but the youth of this. 
 
 * place, having not yet formed themfelves by conver- 
 
 * fation, and the knowlege of the world, give their 
 
 * limbs and features their full play. 
 
 'AS you have confidered human nature in all its 
 
 * lights, you muft be extremely well apprifed,. that 
 4 there is a very clofe correfpondence between the out- 
 6 ward and inward man ; that fcarce the leaft dawn- 
 ' ing, the leaft parturiency towards a thought, can be 
 
 * ftirring in the mind of man, without producing a 
 ' fuitable revolution in his exteriors, which will eafily 
 
 * difeover itfelf to an adept in the theory of the phiz. 
 
 * Hence it is, that the intrinfic worth and merit of a» 
 
 * fon of Alma Mater is ordinarily calculated from the 
 
 * caft of his vifage ; the contour of his perfon, the me- 
 
 *■ ehanifni 
 
N°p8. THE SPECTATOR. 179 
 
 chanifm of his drefs, the difpofition of his limbs, 
 the manner of his gate and air, with a number of 
 circumftances of equal confequence and information : 
 the practitioners in this art often make ufe of a gen- 
 tleman's eyes to give them light into the pofture of 
 his brains ; take a handle from his nofe, to judge of 
 the fize of his intellects ; and interpret the over- 
 much vifibility and pertncfs of one ear, as an infal- 
 lible mark of reprobation, and a fign the owner of fo 
 faucy a member fears neither God nor man. In con- 
 formity to this fcheme, a contracted brow, a lum- 
 pifh down-cart look, a fober fedate pace, with both 
 hands dangling' quiet and ftcddy in lines exactly pa- 
 rallel to each lateral pocket of the galligaikins, is lo- 
 gic, metaphyfics, and mathematics in perfection. So 
 likewife the Belles Lettres are typified by a fanter in 
 the gate, a fall of one wing of the peruke backward, 
 an infertion of one hand in the fob, and a negligent 
 fwing of the other, with a pinch of right and fine 
 Barcelona between finger and thumb, a due quanti- 
 ty of the fame upon the upper lip, and a noddle-cafe 
 loadenwith puivil. Again, a grave folemn ftalking 
 pace is heroic poetry, and politics ; an unequal one 
 a genius for the ode, and the modern ballad ; and 
 an open breaft, with an audacious difplay of the 
 holland fhirt, is conflrued a fatal tendency to the art 
 military. 
 
 * I MIGHT be much larger upon thefe hints, but I 
 know whom I write to. If you can graft any fpe- 
 culation upon them, or turn them to the advantage 
 of the perfons concerned in them, yon will do a 
 work very becoming the Bririfb Spectator, and ob- 
 lige 
 
 Tour very bumble few ant y 
 
 Tom. Tweer. 
 
 Stlturrfaj/f 
 
i8o 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. N<*$*yi 
 
 N° 519. Saturday, OBober 25. 
 
 hide homhiu-n pgcudumque genus, vitaeque volantum, 
 Et quae marmoreo fcri monjlrafub acquore pontus. 
 
 Virg. TEn. 6. v. 728. 
 Hence -men and leaf} s the breath of life obtain, 
 •And birds of air, and wonflers of the main, Dryden. 
 
 'HOUGH there is a great deal of pleafure in 
 contemplating the material world, by which I 
 mean that lyitem of bodies into which nature 
 .has fo curioufly wrought the mafs of dead matter, with 
 the feveral relations which thofe bodies bear to-one an- 
 other : there is dill, methinks, fomething more won- 
 derful and furprizing hi contemplations on the world 
 of life, by which I mean all thofe animals with which 
 every part of theuniverfe is furniihed. The material 
 world is only the (hell of the univcrfe : the world of 
 life are its inhabitants. 
 
 I F we condder thofe parts of the material world 
 which lie the neareit to us, and are therefore fubjecl: 
 to our obiervations and inquiries, it is amazing to con- 
 fider the infinity of animals with which it is flocked. 
 Every part of matter is peopled : every green leaf 
 fwarms with inhabitants. There is fcarce a (ingle hu- 
 mour in the body of a man, or any other animal, in 
 which our glades do not difcover myriads of living 
 creatures. The furface of animals is alfo covered with 
 other animals, which are in the fame manner the bads 
 of other animals that live upon it ; nay, we find in the 
 mod folid bodies, as in marble itfelf, innumerable cells 
 and cavities that are crouded with fuch imperceptible 
 inhabitants, as are too little for the naked eye to dil- 
 cover. On the other hand, if we look into the more 
 bulky parts of nature, we fee the leas, lakes, and ri- 
 vers, teeming withnumberlefs kinds of hvingcreatures': 
 we find every mountain and marfh, wildernels and 
 wood, plentifully docked with birds and beads, and 
 
 every 
 
NO 519. THE SPECTATOR. 181 
 
 every part of matter affording proper ncceflaries and 
 conveniencies for the livelihood of multitudes which 
 inhabit it. 
 
 THE author of the Plurality oj "worlds draws a 
 very good argument from this„confideration, for the 
 peopling of every planet ; as indeed it feems very pro- 
 bable from the analogy of reafon, that if no part of 
 matter, which we are acquainted with, lies waile and 
 ufelefs, thofe great bodies, which are at fuch a di- 
 ftance from us, mould not be defart and unpeopled, 
 but rather that they fhould be furnifhed with beings 
 adapted to their refpeclive fituation. 
 
 EXISTENCE isableffing to thofe beings only 
 which are endowed with perception, and is in a man- 
 ner thrown away upon dead matter, any farther than 
 as it is fubfervient to beings which are confcious of 
 their exiftence. Accordingly we find, from the bo- 
 dies which lie under our obfiervaticn, that matter is 
 only made as the bafis and fupport of animals, and 
 that there is no more of the one, than what is necef- 
 fary for the existence of the other. 
 
 INF.NITE goodnefs is of fo communicative a na- 
 ture, that it feems to delight in the conferring of ex- 
 iilence upon every degree of perceptive being. As 
 this is a fpeculation, which 1 have often purfued with 
 great pieafuic to myfelf, I mall enlarge farther upon 
 it, by confidering that part of the fcale of beings 
 which comes within our knowlege. 
 
 THERE are fome living creatures which are raifed? 
 but jr.lt above dead matter. To mention only that 
 fpecies of Ihell-fifh, which are formed in the fafhion of 
 a cone, that grow to the furface of feveral rocks, and 
 immediately die upon their being fevered from the 
 place where they grow. There are many other crea- 
 tures but one remove from thofe, which have no other 
 fenfe befides that of feeling and tafte. Others have (till 
 an additionaloneof heating ; othersof fmell,andothers 
 of light. It is wonderful to obferve, by what a gradu- 
 al progrefs the world of life advances through a pro- 
 digious variety of fpecies, before a creature is foimed 
 that is complete in all its fenfes ; and even among thefe 
 there is fuch a different degree of perfection in the 
 
 fenfe 
 
182 THE SPECTATOR. N°;i?, 
 
 fenfe which one animal enjoys beyond what appears 
 in another, that though the fenfe in different animals 
 be diftinguifhed by the fame common denomination,, 
 it feems almoft of a different nature. If after this- 
 we look into the feveral inward perfections of cun- 
 ning and fagacity, or what we generally call in- 
 ftinct, we find them riling after the fame manner 
 imperceptibly one above another, and receiving ad* 
 ditional improvements, according to the fpecies in 
 which they are implanted. This progrefs in nature 
 is fo very gradual, that the moil perfect of an in- 
 ferior fpecies comes very near to the mod imperfect 
 of that which is immediately above it. 
 
 THE exuberant and overflowing goodnefs of the fu- 
 preme Being, whofe mercy extends to all his works, 
 is plainly feen, as I have before hinted, from his hav- 
 ing made fo very little matter, at leaftwhat falls with- 
 in our knowlege, that does not fwarm with life : nor 
 is his goodnefs lefs feen in the diverfity, than in the 
 multitude of living creatures. Had he only made one 
 fpecies of animals, none of the reft would have en- 
 joyed the happinefk of exiftence ; he has, therefore, 
 fpecified in his creation every degree of life, every 
 capacity of being. The whole chafm of nature, from 
 a plant to a man, is filled up with diverfe kind of crea- 
 tures, riling one over another, by fuch a gentle and 
 eafy afcent, that the little tranfitions and deviations 
 from one fpecies to another, are almoft iufenfible. 
 This intermediate fpace is fo well hulbanded and ma- 
 naged, that there is fcarce a degree of perception which 
 does not appear in fome one part of the world of life. 
 Is the goodnefs or wifdom of the divine Being, more 
 manifeffed in this his proceeding ? 
 
 THERE is a confequence, befides thofe I have al- 
 ready mentioned, which feems very naturally deducible 
 from the foregoing eonfiderations. If the lcale of being 
 rifes by fuch a regular progrefs, fo high as man, we may 
 by a parity of reafon fuppofe that it Hill proceeds gra- 
 dually thro' thofe beings which are of a luperior na- 
 ture to him ; fince there is an infinitely greater fpace 
 and room for different degrees of perfection, between) 
 the flipreme Being and man, than between man and the 
 
 moli 
 
K° 5 fo. THE SPECTATOR. 183 
 
 molt defpicable infedt. The confequences of fo great a 
 variety of beings which are fuperior to ns, from that 
 variety which is inferior to us, is made by Mr. Locke, 
 in a paiTage which I mall here fet down, after having 
 premifed, that notwithstanding there is fuch infinite 
 room between man and his Maker for the creative pow- 
 er to exert itfelf in, it is impolTible that it mould ever 
 be filled up, fince there will be Hill an infinite gap 
 or diftance between the higheft created being, and 
 the power which produced him. 
 
 THAT there jhould he more fpecies of intelligent 
 creatures above us, than there are of fenfible and mate- 
 rial below us, is probable to me from hence; That in all 
 the vifible corporeal world, we fee no chafns, or no 
 gaps. All quite down from us, the defeat is by eafy 
 Jieps, and a continued feries of things, that in each re- 
 move differ very little one from the other. There are 
 fijhes that have wings, and are not grangers to the 
 airy region: and there are fome birds, that are inha- 
 bitants of the water; whofe blood is cold as fijhes, and 
 their fie jh fo like in tafte, that the fcrupulous are al- 
 lowed them on fijh-days. There are animals fo near of 
 kin both to birds and beafts, that they are in the middle 
 between both : amphibious animals link the terreflrial 
 end aquatic together : Seals live at land and at fea, 
 end p:rpoifes have the warm blood and entrails of a 
 bog; not to mention what is confidently reported of mer- 
 maids 'or fea-men. There are fome brutes, that fe em to 
 have as much knowlege and reafon, as fome that are 
 called men; and the animal and vegetable kingdoms are 
 fo nearly joined, that if you will take the ' low eft of 'one T 
 end the higheft of the other, there will fcarce be per- 
 ceived any great difference between them : and fo on Will 
 we come to the loweft and the mofl inorganical parts of 
 pii.tter, we Jhall find every where that the fever al 
 fpecies are linked together, and differ but in almoft in- 
 Jenjible degrees. And when we conjider the infinite pow- 
 er and wtfdom of the Maker, we have reafon to think 
 that it is fuitable to the magnificent harmony of the uni- 
 verfe, and the great defign and infinite goodnefs of the 
 architect, that the fpecies of creatures Jhould alfo, by 
 gentle degrees, afcendupwardfro'm us toward his infinite 
 
 per- 
 
i§4 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 N°$20. 
 
 perfection, as we fee they gradually defend from us 
 downward: IVhich if it be probable, we have reafon 
 then to be perfuaded, that there are far more fpecies 
 of creatures above us, than there are beneath ; we be~ 
 ing in degrees of perfection much more remote from 
 the infinite Being of God, than we are from the low* 
 eft ft ate of being, and that which approaches near eft 
 to nothing. And yet of all thofe di/lincl fpecies, we have 
 no clear diftincl ideas. 
 
 ' IN this fyftem of being, there is no creature Co 
 wonderful in its nature, and which fo much deferves 
 our particular attention, as man, who fills up the mid- 
 dle fpace between the animal and intellectual nature, 
 the vifible and invifible world, and is that link irt 
 the chain of beings, which has been often termed the 
 Nexus utriufaue mundi. So that he who in one re- 
 fpect is affociated with angels and arch-angels, may 
 look upon a being of infinite perfection as his father, 
 and the higheft order of fpirits as his brethren, may in 
 another refpect fay to corruption, thou art my father, 
 and to the worm, thou art my mother and my fijler, O 
 
 N° 52.0. Monday, OBober 27. 
 
 Quis defiderio fit pudor aut modus 
 Tarn cari capitis'. Hor. Od. 24. 1. 1. v. 1. 
 
 And who can grieve too much? what time flnill end 
 Our mourning for fo dear a friend? ^ Creech. 
 
 T 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 'HE juft value youhave expreffed for the matri- 
 monial ftate, is the reafon that I now venture to 
 ' A write to you, without fear of being ridiculous; 
 '' and confefs to you, that tho' it is three months fince 
 ' I loft a very agreeable woman, who was my wife, my 
 ' forrow is ftillfrefh; and I am often, in the midft of 
 ' company, upon any circumftance that revives her me- 
 ' mory, with a reflexion what fhe would fay or do on 
 
 < fuch 
 
N° 520. THE SPECTATOR. 183* 
 
 fuch an occafion : I fay, r.pon any occurrence of that 
 nature, which I can give you a fenfe of, tho' I cannot 
 exprefs it wholly, I am all over foftnefs, and am ob- 
 liged to retire, and give way to a few fighs and'tears, 
 before I can be eafy. I cannot but recommend the fub- 
 jecl of male widowhood to you, and beg of you to 
 touch upon it by the firfl opportunity. To thofe who 
 have not lived like hufbands during the lives of their 
 fpoufes, this would be a taftclefs jumble of words; 
 but to fuch (of whom there are not a few) who have 
 enjoyed that flate with the fentiments proper for it, 
 you will have every line, which hits the forrow, at- 
 tended with a tear of pity and confolation. For I 
 know not by what goodnefs of providence it is, that 
 every gufh of paffion is a ftep towards the relief of it ; 
 and there is a certain comfort in the very act of for- 
 rowing, which, I fuppofe, arifes from a fecret confei- 
 oufnefs in the mind, that the affliction it is under 
 flows from a virtuous caufe. My concern is not in- 
 deed fo outrageous as at the firft tranfport; for I 
 think it has fubfided rather into a fober Mate of mind, 
 than any actual perturbation of fpirit. There might 
 be rules formed for mens behaviour on this great in- 
 cident, to bring them from that misfortune into the 
 condition I am at prefent; which is, I think, that my 
 forrow has converted all roughnefs of temper into 
 meeknefs, good-nature, and complacency : But in- 
 deed, when in a ferious and lonely hour I prefent my 
 departed confort to my imagination, with that air 
 of perfuafion in her countenance when I have been in 
 paffion, that fweet affability when I have been in 
 good -humour, that tender compaffion when I have 
 had any thing which gave me uneafinefs ; I confefs to 
 you I am inconfolable, and my eyes gufh with grief 
 as if I had feen her but jufl then expire. In this con- 
 dition I am broken in upon by a charming young wo- 
 man, my daughter, who is the picture of what her 
 mother was on her wedding-day. The good girl 
 ftrives to comfort me; but how fhall I let you know 
 that all the comfort fhe gives me is to make my tears 
 flow more eafily ? The child knows fhe quickens my 
 forrowsi and rejoices my heart at the fame time. 
 
 < Oh, 
 
1 86 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. N° 520. 
 
 Oh, ye learned ! tell me by what word to fpeak a 
 motion of the foul, for which there is no name. 
 When (he kneels and bids me be comforted, (he is my 
 child; when I take her in my arms, and bid her fay 
 no more, (he is my very wife, and is the very com- 
 forter I lament the lofs of. I banifh her the room, 
 and weep aloud that I have loft her mother, and that 
 I have her. 
 
 * Mr. Spectator, I wifh it were poffible for you 
 to have a fenfe of thefe pleafing perplexities ; you 
 might communicate to the guilty part of mankind, 
 that they are incapable of the happinefs which is iiv 
 the very for rows of the virtuous. 
 
 * BUT pray fpare me a little longer; give me leave 
 to tell you the manner of her death. She took leave 
 of all her family, and bore the vain application of 
 medicines with the greateft patience imaginable. 
 When the phyfician told her fhe muft certainly die, 
 fiie defired, as well as fhe could, that all who were 
 prefent, except my felf, might depart the room. She 
 faid fhe had nothing to fay, for fhe was refigned, and 
 1 knew all fhe knew that concerned us in this world ; 
 but fhe defired to be alone, that in the prefence of 
 God only fhe might, without interruption, do her 
 laft duty to me> of thanking me for all my kindnefs 
 to her; adding, that fhe hoped in my laft moments I 
 fhould feel the fame comfort for my goodnefs to her, 
 as fiie did in that fhe had acquitted herfelf with ho- 
 
 1 nour, truth and virtue to me. 
 
 < I CURB my felf, and will not tell you that this 
 
 * kindnefs cut my heart in twain, when I expedted an 
 ' accufation for fome paffionate ftarts of mine, in fome 
 
 * parts of our time together, to fay nothing but thank 
 ' me for the good, if there was any good fuitable to 
 ' her own excellence ! All that I had ever faid to her, 
 
 * all the circumftances of for row and joy between us 
 ' crouded upon my mind in the fame inftant ; and when 
 ' immediately after I faw the pangs of death come up- 
 
 * on that dear body which I had often embraced with 
 ' tranfport, when I faw thofe cherifhing eyes begin t» 
 1 be ghaftly, and their laft ftruggle to be to fix them- 
 i felves on me, how did I lofe all patience ? She ex- 
 
 ' pired 
 
N° 520. THE SPECTATOR. 187 
 
 pired in my arms, and in my diffraction I thought I 
 law her bofom dill heave. There was certainly- life 
 
 yet Hill left; I cried, me juft now fpoke to me: but 
 alas ! I grew giddy, and all things moved about me 
 from the diltemper of my own head; for the belt of 
 women was breathlefs, and gone for ever. 
 
 < NOW the doctrine I would, methinks, have you 
 raife from this account I have given you, is, That 
 there is a certain equanimity in thofe who are good 
 
 and juftj which runs into their very forrow, and 
 difappoints the force of it. Though they' mult pafs 
 thro' afflictions in common with all who are inhuman 
 nature, yet their cenfcious integrity (hall undermine 
 their affliction; nay, th-it very affliction mall add 
 force to their integrity, from a reflexion of the ufe 
 of virtue in the hour of affliction. I fat down with 
 a defign to put you upon giving us rules how to o- 
 vercome fuch griefs as thefe, but I fhould rather ad- 
 vife you to teach men to be capable of them. 
 
 'YOU men of letters have what you call the fine 
 tafte in your apprehenlions of what is properly done 
 or laid : There is fomething like this deeply grafted 
 in the foul of him who is honeft and faithful in all his 
 thoughts and actions. Every thing which is falfe, vi- 
 cious or unworthy? is defpicabie to him, though all 
 the world fhould approve it. At the fame time he has 
 the mod lively fenfibility in all enjoyments and fuf- 
 ferings which it is proper for him to have, where any 
 duty of life is concerned. To want forrowwhen yon 
 in decency and truth fhould be afflicted* is, I fhould 
 think, a greater inftance of a man's being a blockhead* 
 than not to know the beauty of any pafTage in Virgil. 
 You have not yet obferved, Mr. Spectator., that the 
 fine gentlemen of this age fet up for hardnefs of heart, 
 and humanity has very little (hare in their pretences. 
 He is a brave fellow who is always ready to kill a man 
 he hates, but he does not Hand in the fame degree of 
 eilecm who laments for the woman he loves. I 
 fhould fancy you might work up a thoufand pretty, 
 thoughts, by reflecting upon the perfons moft fuf- 
 ceptible of the fort of forrow I have fpoken of; and 
 I dare lay you will find upon examination* that they 
 
 < are 
 
188 THE SPECTATOR. N°$ai. 
 
 * are the wifeft and the braved of mankind who are the 
 
 * mod capable of it. I am, 
 
 Norwich? SIR, 
 
 7° Oftobris, Your mo ft bumble fer-o 'ant ; 
 
 I712 ' V T 
 
 T *• J- 
 
 N° 
 
 521. Tuefday, Ottober 28. 
 
 Vera redit fades, dijfimnlata perit. P. Arb. 
 
 The real face returns, the counterfeit is loft. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 ' T HAVE been for many years loud in this afTer- 
 tion, That there are very few that can fee or hear> 
 
 -t I mean that can report what they have feen or 
 
 heard ; and this thro' incapacity or prejudice, one of 
 ' which difables almofl: every man who talks to you 
 ' from reprefenting things as he ought. For which 
 
 reafon I am come to a refolution of believing nothing 
 
 * I hear; and I contemn the man given to narration 
 ' under the appellation of a matter-of-fact man: and 
 
 * according to me, a matter-of-fact man, is one whofe 
 
 * life and cohyerfation is fpent in the report of what 
 
 * is not matter-of-fact. 
 
 ' I REMEMBER when prince Eugene was here, there 
 ' was no knowing his height or figure, till you, Mr. 
 'Spectator, gave the public fatisfaction in that 
 1 matter. In relations, the force of the expreflion lies 
 
 * very often more in the look, the tone of voice, or the 
 ' geflure, than the words themfelves; which being re- 
 ' peated in any other manner by the undifcerning, bear 
 
 * a very different interpretation from their original 
 
 * meaning. I mult confefs, I formerly have turned this 
 1 humour of mine to very good account; for when- 
 
 * ever I. heard any narration uttered with extraordinary 
 
 * vehemence, and grounded upon considerable autho- 
 
 « rity, 
 
K°pi. THE SPECTATOR. 189 
 
 < rity, I was always ready to lay any wager that it was 
 
 * notfo. Indeed I never pretended to be fo raih, as to fix 
 
 * the matter any particular way in oppofition to theirs; 
 t but as there are a hundred ways of any thing happen- 
 
 < ing, belides that it has happened, I only controver- 
 ted its falling out in that one manner as they fet- 
 
 < tied it, and left it to the ninety nine other ways, and 
 
 < confequently had more probability of fuccefs. I had 
 
 < arrived at a particular ikill in warming a man fo far in 
 
 < his narration, as to make him throw in a little of the 
 
 * marvellous, and then, if he has much fire, the next 
 1 degree is the impoffible. Now this is always the time 
 
 < for fixing the wager. But this requires the niceft ma- 
 
 * nagement, otherwife very probably the difpute may 
 
 * arife to the old determination by battle. In thefe con- 
 f ceits I have been very fortunate, and have won fome 
 
 * wagers of thofe who have profeiTedly valued them- 
 1 felves upon intelligence, and have put themfelves to 
 
 * great charge and expence to be mifinformed confider- 
 
 * ably fooner than the red of the world. 
 
 < HAVING got a comfortable fum by this my op- 
 i pofition to public report, I have brought myfelf now 
 
 * to fo great a perfection in inattention, more efpecially 
 
 * to party-relations, that at the fame time I feem with 
 
 < greedy ears to devour up the difcourfe, I certainly 
 
 * do not know one word of it, but purfuemy own comfe 
 
 * of thought, whether upon bufinefs or amufement, with 
 t much tranquillity : I fay inattention, becaufe a late 
 ' act of parliament has fecured all party-liars from the 
 f penalty of a wager, and confequently made itunpro- 
 
 * fitable to attend them. However, good-breeding ob- 
 
 * liges a man to maintain the figure of the keeneft-atten- 
 
 * tion, the true pofture of which in a coffee-houfe I take 
 
 < to confift in leaning over a table, with the edge of it 
 
 < prefling hard upon your ftomach : for the more pain 
 
 * the narration is received with, the more gracious is 
 ' your bending over. Befides that the narrator thinks 
 i you forget your pain, by the pleafure of hearing him. 
 
 * FORT Knock has occafioned feveral very perplexed 
 
 * and inelegant heats and animoilties ; and there was 
 
 * one the other day in a cofFee-houfe where I was, that 
 i took upon him to clear that bufinefs to me, for he faid 
 
 < he 
 
roo 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 N°$2r. 
 
 * he was there. I knew him to be that fort of man that 
 
 * had not ftrength of capacity to be informed of any 
 
 * thing that depended merely upon his being an eyc- 
 ' witrtefs, and therefore was fully fatisfied he could 
 i give me no information? for the very fame reafon he 
 
 < believed he could, for he was there. However, I 
 
 < heard him with the fame greedinefs as Shakefpear de- 
 
 * fcribes in the following lines. 
 
 c - I /aw a fin'ith ft and on his hammer, thin, 
 ( JVith open mouth fiv allowing a taylor's news. 
 
 1 I CONFESS of late I have not been fo much amaz- 
 i ed at thedeclaimers in coffec-houfes as I formerly was, 
 
 * being fatisfied that they expecl to be rewarded for 
 1 their vociferations. Of thefe liars there are two forts. 
 i The genius of the firit coniiitsin much impudence and 
 
 * a ftrong memory ; the others have added to thefe 
 
 * qualifications a good understanding and fmooth lan- 
 i guage. Thefe therefore havconlycertainheads, which 
 
 * they are as eloquent upon as they can, and may becal- 
 
 < led embellilhers ; the others repeat only what they 
 
 * hear from others as literally as their parts or zeal will 
 1 permit, and are called reciters. Here was a fellow in 
 
 * town fome years ago, who ufed to divert himielf by 
 
 * telling a lye at Charing-Crofs in the morning at 
 ' eight of the clock, and then following it through all 
 
 * parts of the town till eight at night; at which time 
 
 < he came to a club of his friends, and diverted them 
 
 * with an account what cenfure it had at Will's in Co- 
 
 < vent-Garden, how dangerous it was believed to be at 
 
 * Child's, and what inference they drew from it with 
 
 * relation to flocks at Jonathan's. I have had the ho- 
 *. nour to travel with this gentleman I fpeak of in fearch 
 
 < of one of his falfhoods; and have been preient when 
 ,,< they have defcribed the very man thev have fpoken 
 
 * to, as him who firlt reported it, tall or fhort, black or 
 
 * fair, a gentleman or a raggamuffin, according as they 
 ' liked the intelligence. I have heard one of our ingeni- 
 
 * ouswritersof news fay, that when he has had acufto- 
 
 < mer come with an advertifement of an apprentice or 
 
 * a wife run away, he has defired the advertifer to 
 
 * compofe himfelf a little, before he dictated the defcri- • 
 
 ' rtion 
 
N°52: 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 191 
 
 * ption of the offender: for when a perfon is put into 
 f a public paper by a man who is angry with him, the 
 ' real defcription of fuch perfon is hid in the deformi- 
 1 ty with which the angry man defcribed him; there- 
 ( fore this fellow always made his cuftomers defcribe 
 
 * him as he would the day before he offended, or elfe he 
 < was lure he would never find him out. Thefe and ma- 
 « ny other hints, I could foggeft to you for the eluci- 
 ' dation of all factions; but I leave it to your own fa- 
 
 * gacity to improve or neglect this fpeculation. 
 
 / m K S I R, 
 
 Your mofl obedient > 
 
 humble fervant. 
 Poilfcript to the Spectator, Number 502. 
 
 N. B. There are in the play of H he Self-Tormentor of 
 Terence, -which is allowed a mofl excellent comedy, f eve-, 
 ral incidents which would draw tears from any man of 
 fenfe, and not one which would move his laughter. T 
 
 N° 522. Wednesday ) OBober 29. 
 
 ; — Adjuro nunquam earn me defer turum ; 
 
 ■Non,jicapiundos mihifciam effe ir.imicosomnes homines. 
 Hanc mi hi expetivi, Cbntigit : conveniunt mores : 
 
 valeant, 
 Qui inter nos difcidium voluni . hanc, nifl mors, mi 
 
 adimet nemo. Ter. Andr. Act. 4. Sc. 2. 
 
 Jfvear never to for fake her; no, tho'' 1 were fire to 
 make all men my enemies : Her I defired ; her I have 
 obtained; our humours agree: Perijh all thofe who 
 would fepar cite us ! death akue fhall deprive me of her. 
 
 SHOULD efteem myfelf a very happy man, if my 
 fpeculations could in the lead: contribute to the re- 
 ctifying the conduct of my readers in one of the 
 moft" important affairs of life, to w ir, their choice in 
 
 mar- 
 
192 THE SPECTATOR. N° 522. 
 
 marriage. This ftate is the foundation of community, 
 and the chief band of fociety ; and I do not think I can 
 be too frequent on fubjects which may give light to my 
 unmarried readers in a particular which is fo elfential to 
 their following happinefs or mifery. A virtuous difpo- 
 fition, a good underftanding, an agreeable perfon, and 
 an eafy fortune, are the things which mould be chiefly 
 regarded on this occafion. Becaufe my prefent view is 
 to direct a young lady, who, I think, is now in doubt 
 whom to take of many lovers, I (hall talk at this time 
 to my female reader. The advantages, as I was going 
 to fay, of fenfe, beauty and riches, are what are certain- 
 ly the chief motives to a prudent young woman of for- 
 tune for changing her condition ; but as fhe is to have 
 her eye upon each of thefe, (he is to afkherfelf whether 
 the man who has molt of thefe recommendations in the 
 lump is not the moft defirable. He that has excellent 
 talents, with a moderate eftate, and an agreeable per- 
 fon, is preferable to him who is only rich, if it were on- 
 ly that good faculties may purchafe riches, but riches 
 cannot purchafe worthy endowments. I do not mean that 
 wit, and a capacity to entertain, is whatlhould be high- 
 ly valued, except it is founded upon good-nature and 
 humanity. There are many ingenious men, whofe abi- 
 lities do little elfe but make themfelves and thofe about 
 them uneafy : fuch are thofe who are far gone in the 
 plcafures of the town, who cannot fupport life without 
 quick fenfations and gay reflexions, and are ftrangers to 
 tranquillity, to right reafon, and a calm motion of fpi- f 
 rits without transport or dejection. Thefe ingenious 
 men, of all men living, are moft to be avoided by her 
 whowouldbehappyin ahufband. They are immediately 
 fated with poffeflion, and muft neceifarily fly to new ac- 
 quifitions of beauty, to pafs away the whiling mo- 
 ments and intervals of life; for with them every hour 
 is heavy that is not joyful. But there is a fort of man 
 of wit and fenfe, that can reflect upon his own make, 
 and that of his partner, with the eyes of reafon and 
 honour, and who believes lie offends againft both thefe, 
 if he does not look upon the woman (who chofe him 
 to be under his protection in ficknefs and health) with 
 the utmoft gratitude, whether from that moment fhe 
 
 is 
 
 at 
 
N°522. THE SPECTATOR. 104 
 
 is Alining or defective in perfon or mind : I Cay there 
 arc thofe who think thcmfclves bound to fupply with 
 good-nature the failings of thofe who love them, and 
 who always think thofe the objects of love and pity, 
 who came to their arms the obje&s of joy and ad- 
 miration. 
 
 OF this latter fort is Lyfander, a man of wit, learn- 
 ing, fobriety, and good-nature, of birth and edate 
 below no woman to accept, and of whom it might be 
 faidj mould he fucceed in his prefent wiflies, his mi- 
 (Irefs raifcd his fortune, but not that (he made it. 
 When a woman is deliberating with herfelf whom /he 
 mall choole of many near each other in other preten- 
 lions, certainly he of bed underdanding is to be pre- 
 ferred. Life hangs heavily in the repeated converfa- 
 tion of one who has no imagination to be fired at the 
 feveral occalions and objecls which come before him > 
 or who cannot ftrike out of his reflections new paths 
 of pleafing difcourfe. Honed: Will Thrafh and his 
 wife, tho' not married above four months, havelcarce 
 had a word to fay to each other this fix weeks ; and 
 one cannot form to one's felf a fillier picture, than 
 thefe two creatures in folemn pomp and plenty unable 
 to enjoy their fortunes, and at a full flop among a 
 croud of fervants, to whole tade of life they are be- 
 holden for the little fatisfaclions by which they can 
 be underdood to be fo much as barely in being. The 
 hours of the day, the didinctions of noon and night, 
 dinner and fupper, are the greated notices they are 
 capable of. This is perhaps reprefenting the life of a 
 very moded woman, joined to a dull fellow, more in- 
 lipid than it really deferves ; but I am fure it is not to 
 exalt the commerce with an ingenious companion too 
 high, to fay that every new accident or object, which 
 comes into fuch a gentleman's way, gives his wife new 
 pleafures and fatisfactions. The approbation of his 
 words and actions is a continual new fead to her, nor 
 can die enough. -applaud her good fortune in having her 
 life varied every hour, her mind more improved, and 
 her heart more glad from every circurnitance which 
 they meet with. He will lay oat his invention in 
 forming new pleafures and amufements, and make the 
 
 VOL. VII. I fortune 
 
194 THE SPECTATOR. N°522. 
 
 fortune (he has brought him fnbfervient to the hono-r 
 and reputation of her and hers. A man of fenle who 
 is thus obliged, is ever contriving the happinefsof her 
 who did him fo great a diftinction ; while the fool is 
 ungrateful without vice, and never returns a favour 
 becauie he is not fenfible of it. I would, methinks, 
 have fo much to lay for myfeif, that if I fell into the 
 hands of him who treated me ill, he ihould be fenfible 
 when he did lo : his conference mould be of my fide 
 whatever became of his inclination. I do not know 
 but it is the infipid choice which has been made by 
 ihofe who have the care of young women, that the 
 marriage Hate itfelf has been liable to fo mueh ridicule. 
 But a well-chofen love, moved by paffion on both 
 iides, and perfected by the generofity of one party, 
 muft be adorned with lb many bandfom incidents on 
 the other fide, that every particular couple would be 
 an example in many circumftances to all the reit of 
 the fpecies. I mall end the chat upon this fubjecT: 
 with a couple of letters, one from-a lover who is very 
 well acquainted with the way of bargaining on thefe 
 occafions ; and the other froi.. his rival, who has a 
 lefs eltate, but great gallantry of temper. As for my 
 man of prudence, he makes love, as he fays, as if he 
 were already a father, and laying afide the pafliorr, 
 comes to the reafon of the thing. 
 
 Madam, 
 
 Y counfel has perufed the inventory of your 
 eftate, and confidered what eltate you have, 
 which it feenis is only yours, and to the male-heirs 
 of your body; but, in default of fuch iifue, to the 
 right heirs of your uncle Edward for ever. Thus, 
 Madam, I am advifed you cannot (the remainder 
 not being in you) dock the entail ; by which means 
 my ettatc, which is fee-fimple, will come by the fet- 
 tlement propofed to your children begotten by me, 
 whether they are males or females ; but my child- 
 ren begotten upon you will not inherit your lands, 
 except I beget a fon. Now, Madam, fince things 
 are fo, you are a woman of that prudence, and un- 
 I ' derlland 
 
NO 5 22. THE SPECTATOR. 19.; 
 
 ' derftand the world To well, as not to expert I fliouM 
 
 * give you more than you can give me. 
 
 lam. Madam? 
 
 ■(■with great refpecl) 
 
 To:<r pi oft obedient humbkfervant, 
 T. W. 
 
 THE other lover's eft ate is lefs than this gentle- 
 man's, but he expreiTcd himfelf as follows. 
 
 Madam, 
 
 * THAVE given in my eftate to your counfel, and 
 
 * A defircd my own lawyer to infill upon no terms 
 
 * which your friends can propofe for your certain eafe 
 « and advantage : for indeed I have no notion o( 
 1 making difficulties of presenting you with what can- 
 < not make me happy without you. 
 
 I am-j Madam, 
 
 Your mo ft devoted humhhfsrvant, 
 
 B. T. 
 
 YOU muft know the relations have met upon this, 
 and the girl being mightily taken with the latter epi* 
 (He, (lie is laughed at, and uncle Edward is to be dealt 
 with to make her a fuitable match to the worthy gen- 
 tleman who has told her he does not care a farthing 
 for her. All 1 hope for is, that the lady fair will make 
 ufe of the firit. light night to (how B. T. (he under- 
 (Hnds a marriage is not to be considered as a common 
 bargain. T 
 
 I 2 Thnrfdayj 
 
196 THE SPECTATOR. NO523. 
 
 N° 5 2 3 . 'Thurfday, October 3 o . 
 
 Nunc augur Apollo, 
 
 Nunc Lyciae fortes, nunc et Jove miffiis ab ipfo 
 Interpres Divumfert horrida jtiffh per auras. 
 
 Scilicet is fuperis labor Virg. Mn. 4. v. 376. 
 
 Now Lycian lots, and now the Deli an god ,- 
 Now Hermes is employ'' 'd from Jove' 's abode, 
 To warn him hence ; as if the peaceful flat e 
 Of heavenly pow'rs were touched with human fate! 
 
 Dryden. 
 
 I A M always highly delighted with the difcovery of 
 any rifing genius among my countrymen. For this 
 reafon I have read over, with great pleafure, the 
 late mifcellany publifhed by Mr. Pope, in which there 
 are many excellent compofitions of that ingenious gen- 
 tleman. I have had a pleafure of the fame kind, in per- 
 illing a poem that is juft publifhed ontheprofpecJofpeace, 
 and which, I hope, will meet with fuch a reward from 
 its patrons, as fo noble a performance deferves. I 
 was particularly well pleafed to find that the author 
 had not amufed himfelf with fables out of the Pagan 
 theology, and that when he hints at any thing of this 
 nature he alludes to it only as to a fable. 
 
 MANY of our modern authors, whofe learning ve- 
 ry often extends no farther than Ovid's Metamorphofes, 
 do not know how to celebrate a great man, without 
 mixing a parcel of fchool-boy tales with the recital of 
 his actions. If you read a poem on a" fine woman, 
 among the authors of this clafs, you lhall fee that it 
 turns more upon Venus or Helen, than on the party 
 concerned. I have known a copy of verfes on a great 
 hero highly commended ; but upon aflcing to hear fome 
 ■ of the beaut'ful palTages, the admirer of it has repeated 
 to me a fpeech of Apollo, or a defcription of Poly- 
 pheme. At other times, when I have fearched for the 
 aclions of a great man, who gave afubjedtto the writ- 
 er, I have been entertained with the exploits of a ri- 
 ;-god, or have been forced to attend a fury in her 
 
 mif- 
 
NO 523. THE SPECTATOR. 197 
 
 mifchievous progrefs, from one end of the poem to 
 the other. When we are at fchool it is neceffary for 
 us to be acquainted with the fyflem of Pagan theolo- 
 gy, and may be allowed to enliven a theme, or point 
 an epigram with an heathen god ; but when we would 
 write a manly panegyric, that mould carry in it all the 
 colours of truth, nothing can be more ridiculous than 
 to have recourfe to our jupiters and Junos. 
 
 N O thought is beautiful which is not juft, and no 
 thought can be j u f r which is not founded in truth, or 
 at leaft in that which palfes for fuch. 
 
 I N mock-heroic poems, the ufe of the heathen my- 
 thology is not only excufablebut graceful, becaufe it 
 is the defign of fuch compofitions to divert, by adapt- 
 ing the fabulous machines of the antients to low fub- 
 jects, and at the fame time by ridiculing fuch kinds of 
 machinery in modern writers. If any are of opinion, 
 that there is a neceffity of admitting thefe claffical le- 
 gends into our ferious compofitions, in order to give 
 them a more poetical turn ; I would recommend to 
 their confideration the paftorals of Mr. Philips. One 
 would have thought it impoffible for this kind of poe- 
 try to have fubfifted without fawns and fatires, wood- 
 nymphs and water-nymphs, with all the tribe of rural 
 deities. But we fee he has given a new life, and a 
 more natural beauty to this way of writing, by fub- 
 liituting in the place of thefe antiquated fables, the fu- 
 perftitious mythology which prevails among the fhep- 
 herds of our own country. 
 
 VIRGIL and Homer might complement their he- 
 roes, by interweaving the aclions of deities with their 
 atchievements ; but for a Chriflian author to write in 
 the Pagan creed, to make prince Eugene a favourite 
 of Mars, or to carry on a correfpondence between 
 Bellona and the marfhal de Villars, would be down- 
 right puerility, and unpardonable in a poet that is paft 
 fixteen. It is want of fufficient elevation in a genius 
 to defcribe realities, and place them in a mining light, 
 that makes him have recourfe to fuch trifling antiquat- 
 ed fables ; as a man may write a fine defcription of 
 Bacchus or Apollo, that does not know how to draw 
 the character of any of his contemporaries. 
 
 13 IN 
 
198 T H E SPECT A T O R. NO 52 :.:. 
 
 IN order therefore to put a ftop to this abfurd pra- 
 ctice, I fhall publifh the following edict? by virtue of 
 that fpectatorial authority with which I ftand inverted. . 
 
 HERE A S the time of a general peace is, in 
 all appearance, drawing near, being informed 
 that there are feveral ingenious perfons who intend 
 to fhew their talents on fo happy an occafion, and 
 being willing, as much as in me lies, to prevent that 
 effufion of nonfenfe, which we have good caufe to 
 apprehend ;. I do hereby ftrictly require every perfon,. 
 who fhall write on this fubjcct, to remember that he 
 i's a Chri-ftian,and not to facrifice his catechifm to his 
 poetry. In order to it, I do expect of him in the 
 firft place, to make his own poem,, without depend- 
 ing upon Phoebus for any part of it, or calling out 
 for aid upon any one of the mufes by name. I do 
 likewife positively forbid the fending of Mercury with- 
 any particular melTage or difpatch relating to the 
 peace, and fhall by no means fuffer Minerva to take 
 upon her the fhape of any plenipotentiary concerned 
 in this great work. I do further declare,jthat I fhall 
 not allow the deftinies to have had an hand in the 
 deaths of the feveral thoufands who have been flain 
 in the late war, being of opinion that all fuch deaths 
 may be very well accounted for by the Chriftian fy- 
 ftem of powder and ball, I do therefore ftrictly 
 forbid the fates to cut the thread of man's life upon 
 any pretence whatfoever, unlefs it be for the fake of 
 therhime. And whereas I have good reafon to fear, 
 that Neptune will have a great deal of bufinefs op. 
 his hands, in feveral poems which we may now fup- 
 pofe are upon the anvil, I do alfo prohibit his appear- 
 ance, unlefs it be done in metaphor, fimile, or any 
 very fhort allufion, and that even here he be not per- 
 mitted to enter but with great caution and circum • 
 fpection. I defire that the fame rule may be extend- 
 ed to his whole fraternity of heathen gods, it being 
 my defign to condemn every poem to the flames in 
 which Jupiter thunders, or exercifes any other act: 
 of authority which does not belong to him : in fhort, 
 J expect that no Pagan agent fhall be introduced, or 
 
 4 anv 
 
N°524- THE SPECTATOR. 199 
 
 * any fa£t related which a man cannot give credit to 
 
 * with a good confcience. Provided always that no- 
 
 * thing herein contained (hall extend, or be conftrued 
 ' to extend, to feveral of the female poets in this na- 
 ' tion, who lhall (till be left in full pofTeffion of their 
 
 * geds and goddelfes, in the fame manner as if this 
 ' paper had never been written. O 
 
 N° 524. Friday, Odiober 31. 
 
 Nos populo damns Sen. 
 
 As the world leads t -we follow. 
 
 HEN I firft of all took it iri my head to write 
 dreams and vifions, I determined to print no- 
 thing of that nature, which was not of my 
 own invention. But feveral laborious dreamers have of 
 late communicated to me works of this nature, which, 
 for their reputations and my own, I have hitherto 
 fupprelFed. Had I printed every one that came to my 
 hands, my book of fpeculations would have been lit- 
 tle elie but a book of vifions. Some of my correfpon- 
 dents have indeed been fo very modeft, as to offer at 
 an excufe for their hot being in a capacity to dream 
 better. I have by me, for example, the dream of a 
 young gentleman not paft fifteen. I have likewife by 
 fne the dream of a perfon of quality, and another cal- 
 led the lady's dream. In thefe, and other pieces of 
 the fame nature, it is fuppofed the ufual allowances 
 will be made to the age, condition, and fex of the 
 dreamer. To prevent this inundation of dreams, 
 which daily flows in upon me, I fhall apply to all 
 dreamers of dreams, the advice which Epidletus has 
 couched, after his manner, in a very limple and con- 
 eifc precept. Neyer tell thy dreams, fays that philo- 
 fopher, for though thou thyfelfmayefl take a pleafure in 
 telling thy dream, another will take no pleafure in hear- 
 ing it. After this fhort preface, I muft do juftice to 
 two or three vilions which I have lately publilhed, and 
 I 4 which 
 
200 THE SPECTATOR. N° 5-24. 
 
 •which- I have owned to have been written by other 
 hands.. I fhall add a dream to thefe, which comes to 
 me from Scotland, by one who declares himfelf of that 
 country, and for all I know may be fecond-fighted. 
 There is, indeed, fomething in it of the fpirit of 
 John Bunyan ; but at the fame time a certain fublime, 
 which that author was never mafter of. I fhall publish 
 't, becaufe I queftion not but it will fall in with the 
 
 afle of all my popular readers, and amufe the imagi- 
 nations of thole who are more profound ; declaring 
 at the fame time, that this is the lalt dream which I in- 
 
 end to pnblilh this feafon. 
 
 S IF, 
 
 I WAS lad Sunday in the evening led into a ferious 
 reflection on the reafonablenefs of virtue, and 
 great folly of vice, from an excellent fermon I had 
 heard that afternoon in my parifh church. Among 
 other obfervations, the preacher fhewed us that the 
 temptations which the tempter propofed, were all 
 on a fuppofition, that we are either madmen or fools, 
 or with an intention to render us fuch ; that in no 
 other affair we would fuffer ourfelves to be thus im- 
 pofed upon, in a cafe fo plainly and clearly againfl 
 our viiible interefr . His illustrations and arguments 
 carried fo much perfuafion and conviction with 
 them, that they remained a confiderable while frefh, 
 and working in my memory ; 'till at lad the mind, 
 fatigued with thought gave way to the forcible op- 
 preffions of {lumber and deep, whilfl fancy, unwil- 
 ling yet to drop the fubject prefented me with the 
 fo' lowing vihon. 
 
 < iMETHOUGHT I was jufl awoke out of a fleep, 
 that I could never remember the beginning of; the 
 place where I found myfelf to be, was a wide and 
 fpacious plain, full of people that wandered up and 
 down through feveral beaten paths, whereof fome 
 few were ftraight, and in direct lines, but meft of 
 them winding and turning like a labyrinth ; but yet 
 it appeared to me afterwards, that thefe lafl all met 
 in one iffue, fo that many that feemed to fleer quite 
 contrary courfes, did at length meet and face one 
 
 * an-* 
 
K°524« THE SPECTATOR. 201 
 
 * another, to the no little amazement of many of 
 
 * them. 
 
 'IN the midft of the plain there was a great foun- 
 ' tain : they called it the fpring of Self-Love ; out of 
 ' it ifliied two rivulets to the eaftward and weftward ; 
 
 * the name of the firft was Heavenly-Wifdom, its \va- 
 *i ter was wonderfully clear, but of a yet more won- 
 i derful effect ; the other's name was Worldly- YYif- 
 ' dom, its water was thick, and yet far from being 
 ' dormant or Stagnating,- for it was in a continual via- 
 ' lent agitation ; which kept the travellers whom I Shall 
 ' mention by and by, from being fenfible of the foulnefs. 
 ' and thicknefs of the water; which had this effect, 
 ' that it intoxicated thofe who drunk it, and made 
 ' them miftake every object that lay before them : both 
 ' rivulets were parted near their fprings into fo many 
 ' others, as there were ftraight and crooked paths, 
 ' which they attended all along to their re fpectivei flues. 
 
 ' I OBSERVED from the feveral paths many now 
 c and then diverting, to refrefh and otherv/ays qualify 
 1 themfelves for their journey, to the refpeclive rivulets 
 ( that ran near them ; they contracted a very obferv- 
 ( able courage and fteadinefs in what they were about, 
 : by drinking thefe waters. At the end of the per- 
 ; fpecfive of every ftraight path, all which did end in 
 : one iifue and point, appeared a high pillar, all of 
 diamond, cafting rays as bright as thofe of the fua 
 into the paths; which rays had alfo certain fympa- 
 thizing.ahdalluring virtues in them, fo that whofoever 
 had made fome confiderable progrefs in his journey- 
 onwards towards the pillar, by the repeated imprel- 
 fion of thefe rays upon him, was wrought into an 
 habitual inclination and conversion of his fight to- 
 wards it, fo that it grew at laft in a manner natural 
 to him to look and gaze upon it, whereby he was; 
 kept fteady in the ftraight paths, which alone led to 
 that radiant body, the beholding of which was how 
 grown a gratification to his nature. 
 'AT the ifliie of the crooked paths there was a 
 great black tower, out of the center of which dream- 
 ed a long fucceflion of flames,, which did rife eve,n 
 above the clouds ; it gave a very great light to the 
 I 5. * whoie 
 
202 THE SPECTATOR. NO p 4 . 
 
 * whole plain, which did fometimes outfhine the light, 
 ' and oppreffed the beams of the adamantine pillar ; 
 
 * tho' by the obiervation I made afterwards, it ap- 
 
 * peared that it was not for any diminution of light, 
 '* but that this lay in the travellers, who would fome- 
 ' times ftep out of the flraight paths, where they loft. 
 ' the full profpeft of the radiant pillar, and faw it but 
 ' fide-ways : but the great light from the black tower, 
 
 * which was fomewhat particularly fcorching to them, 
 ' would generally light and haften them to their pro- 
 i per climate again. 
 
 * ROUND about the black tower there were, me- 
 
 * thoughts, many thoufancls of huge mifhapen ugly 
 
 * m'onfters ; thefe had great nets, which they were 
 
 * perpetually plying and calling towards the crooked 
 " paths, and they would now and then catch up thofe 
 1 that were neareft to them : thefe they took up 
 
 * flraight, and whirled over the walls into the flaming 
 
 * tower, and they were no more feen nor heard of. 
 'THEY would fometimes caft their nets towards 
 
 ' the right paths to catch the ftragglers, whofe eyes 
 ' for want of frequent drinking at the brook that ran 
 
 * by them grew dim, whereby they loft their way ; 
 ' thefe would fometimes very narrowly mifs being 
 
 * catched away, but I could not hear whether any of 
 
 * thofe had ever been fo unfortunate that had been be- 
 
 * fore very hearty in the flraight paths. 
 
 ' I CONSIDERED all thefe ftrange fights with great 
 
 * attention, 'till at laft I was interrupted by a clufler of 
 
 * the travellers in the crooked paths, who came up to 
 
 * me, bid me go along with them, and prefently Fell 
 '* to tinging and dancing ; they took me by the hand, 
 ',** and fo carried me away along with them. After I 
 ' had followed them a confiderable while, I perceived 
 
 ' I had loft the black tower of light, at which I greatly 
 
 * wondered; but as I looked and gazed round about 
 
 * me, and faw nothing, I begun to fancy my firft vifion 
 
 * had been but a dream? and there was no fuch thing 
 
 * in reality : but then I confidered, that if I could fancy 
 
 * to fee what was not, I might as well have an illufion 
 ' wrought on me at prefent, and not fee what was real- 
 ' ly before me. I was very much confirmed in this 
 
 ' thought, 
 
NO 524. THE SPECTATOR. 203. 
 
 thought, by the effect I then juft obferved the water 
 of Worldly-Wifdomhaduponme; for as I had drunk 
 a little of it again, I felt a very fenfible effect in my 
 head ; methought it diffracted and difordered all 
 there : this made me flop of a Hidden, fufpecling fome 
 charm or inchantment. As I was calling about with- 
 in myieif what I mould do, and whom to apply to in 
 this cafe, 1 fpied at fome diffance off me a man beck- 
 ning, and making figns to me to come over to him. I 
 cried to him, / dni not know the way. He then called to 
 me audibly, to Hep at leaff out of the path I was in ^ 
 for if I ftaid there any longer 1 was in danger to be 
 catched in a great net dial was juU hanging over me, 
 and ready to catch me up ; that he wondered I was 
 fo blind, 01 fo diffracted, as not to fee fo imminent 
 and vifible a danger, alluring me, that as foon as I 
 was out of that way, he would come to me to lead 
 me into a more fecure path. This he did, and he 
 brought me his palm full oi' the water of Heavenly- 
 Wifdom, which was of very great ufetome, for my 
 eves were ftraight cleared, md I faw the great black 
 tower juff before me; but tiie great net which I fpied 
 fo near me, caff me in fuch a terror, that I ran back as 
 far as I could in one breath, without looking behind 
 me : then my benefactor thus befpoke me ; You have 
 made the wonderfuieft eicape in the world, the water 
 you u fed to drink is of abewitching nature, you would 
 elfe have been mightily fhocked at the deformities and 
 meannefs of the place ; for befide the fet of blind fools 
 in whofe company you was, you may now behold 
 many others who are only bewitched after another 
 no lefs dangerous manner. Look a little that way, 
 there goes a croud of paffengers, they have indeed 
 fogood ahead as not to fuffer themfelves tobe blind- 
 ed by this bewitching water j the black tower is not 
 vanifhed out of their fight, they fee it whenever they 
 lookup to it; but fee how they go fide-ways, and 
 with their eyes downwards, as if they were mad, that 
 they may thus rufh into the net, without being be- 
 forehand troubled at the thought of fo miferable a 
 deftruction. Their wills are fo perverfe, and their 
 hearts fo fond of the pleafures of the place, that ra- 
 
 * th.es- 
 
204 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. S° §2S< 
 
 ther than forego them they will run all hazards and 
 venture upon all the miferies and woes before them.. 
 'SEE there that other company, tho' they fhould 
 drink none of the bewitching water, yet they take a 
 courfe bewitching and deluding ; fee how they choofe 
 the crookedeit paths, v/hereby they have often the 
 black tower behind them, and fome times fee the ra- 
 diant column fide-ways, which gives them fome weak 
 glimpfe of it. Thefe fools content themfelves with 
 that, not knowing whether any other have anymore 
 of its influence and light than themfelves :. this road 
 is called Jhat of Superftition or Human Invention ; 
 they grofly overlook that which the rules and laws 
 of the place prefcribe to them, and contrive fome 
 other fcheme and fet of directions and prefcriptions 
 for themselves, which they hope will ferve their turn. 
 He fhewed me many other kind of fools, which put 
 me quite out of humour with the place. Atlalr. he car- 
 ried me to the right paths, where I found true and fo- 
 lid plcafure? which entertained me all the way, 'tilt 
 we came in clofer fight of the pillar, where the fatif- 
 fadtion increafed to that meafure that my faculties- 
 were not able to contain it ; in the (training of them 
 1 was violently waked, not a little grieved at the 
 vanifhingof fo plcafing a dream. 
 Cla/row, Sept. 29. 
 
 Saturday, November i, 
 
 'O <r £$ to patyov W etpSTW t' kyuv zpas, 
 
 ZnKuroi chfysfarotariv Eurip. 
 
 That love alone, which virtue' r laws- controul f 
 Deferves reception in the human foul. 
 
 IT is my cuftom to take frequent opportunities of in- 
 quiring from time to time, what fuccefs my fpecula- 
 tion-s meet with in the town. I am glad to find m 
 particular,thatmydifcourfesonrnarriagehavebeenwell 
 received. A friend of mine givesme to understand, from 
 ^Doctors-Commons, that more licences have been taken 
 
 out. 
 
K0 52 -. THE SPECTATOR. 205 
 
 out there oflate than ufual. I am likewife informed 
 of feveral pretty fellows, who have refolved to com- 
 mence heads of families by the firit favourable oppor- 
 tunity : One of them writes me word, that he is rea- 
 dy to enter into the bonds of matrimony, provided 
 I will give it him under my hand (as I now do) that a 
 man may fhew his face in good company after he is 
 married, and that he need not be afhamed to treat a 
 woman with kindnefs, who puts herfelf into his power 
 for life. 
 
 I HAVE other letters on this fubject, which fay that 
 I am attempting to make a revolution in the world of 
 gallantry, and that the confeqnence of it will be, that 
 a great deal of the fprightlieft wit and i'atire of thelaft 
 age will be loft: that a bafliful fellow, upon changing 
 his condition, will be no longer puzzled how to ftand 
 the rallery of his facetious companions ; that he need 
 not own he married only to plunder an heirefs of her 
 fortune, nor pretend that he ufes her ill, to avoid the 
 ridiculous name of a fond hnfband. 
 
 INDEED if I may fpeak my opinion of great part 
 cf the writings which once prevailed among us under 
 the notion of humour, they are fuch as would tempt 
 one to think there had been an affociation among the 
 wits of thofe times to rally legitimacy out of our if- 
 land. A ftate of wedloc was the common mark of all 
 the adventurers in farce and comedy, as well as the 
 eilayers in lampoon and fatire, to (hoot at, and no- 
 thing was a more Handing jeft in all clubs of fafhiona- 
 ble mirth, and gay converfation. It was determined 
 among thofe airy critics, that the appellation of afober 
 man fhould ilgnify a fpiritlefs fellow. And I am apt 
 to think it was about the fame time, that good-nature, 
 a word fo peculiarly elegant in our language, that fome 
 have affirmed it cannot well be exprelfed in any other, 
 came firft to be rendered fufpicious, and in danger of 
 being transferred from its original fenfe to fo diftant 
 an idea as that of folly. 
 
 I MUST confefs it has been my ambition, in the 
 courfe of my writings, to reftore, as well as I was able, 
 the proper ideas of things. And as I have attempted 
 this already on the fubjeft of marriage, in feveral pa- 
 
 pexs r . 
 
206 THE SPECTATOR. NOJ25. 
 
 pers, I fhall here add fome farther obfervations which 
 occur to me on the fame head. 
 
 NOTHING feems to be thought, by our fine 
 gentlemen, fo indifpenfible an ornament in iaihionable 
 life, as love. A knight-errant, fays t)on Quisotst 
 ■without a mijlrefs, is like a tree ■without leaves ; and 
 a man of mode among us, who has not fome fair-one 
 to figh for, might as well pretend to appear drelfed, 
 without his periwig. We have lovers in profe innu- 
 merable. All our pretenders to rhime are profeffed 
 inamorato's; and .there is fcarce a poet, good or bad, 
 to be heard of, who has not fome real or fuppofed Sa- 
 cbariiTa to improve his vein. 
 
 IF love be any refinement, Conjugal love mud be 
 certainly fo in a much higher degree. There is no com- 
 panion between t e frivolous affectation of attracting 
 the eyes of women with whom you are only captivated 
 by way of amufement, and of whom perhaps you know 
 nothing more than their features, and a regular and u- 
 niform endeavour to make yourfelf valuable, both as a 
 friend and lover, to one whom you have chofen to be 
 the companion of your life. The firfr. is the fpring of 
 a thoufand fopperies, filly artifices, falfhoods, and per- 
 haps barbarities; or at bell rifes no higher than to a 
 kind of dancing-fchool breeding, to give the perfon a 
 more fparkling air. The latter is the parent of fub- 
 ftantial virtues and agreeable qualities, and cultivates 
 the mind while it improves the behaviour. The palTion 
 of love to a miftrefs, even where it is moil: finceie, re- 
 fembles too much the flame of a fever ; that to a wife 
 is like the vital heat. 
 
 I HAVE often thought, if the letters written by men 
 of good-nature to their wives, were to be compared 
 with thofe written by men of gallantry to their miftref- 
 fes, the former, notwithstanding any inequality of (tile, 
 would appear to have the advantage. Friendfhip, ten- 
 dernefs and conftancy, dreft in a (implicity of exprefll- 
 on, recommend themfelvesby a more native elegance, 
 than pallionate raptures, extravagant encomiums, and 
 flavifh adoration. If we were admitted to fearch the 
 cabinet of the beautiful NarciiTa, among heaps of epi- 
 files from feveral admirers, which are there preferved 
 
 witbi 
 
N<> 525. THE SPECTATOR. 207 
 
 ■with equal care, how few mould we find but would 
 make any one lick in the reading, except her who is 
 flattered by them ? But in how different a ftile tfluft 
 the wife Benevolus, who converfcs with that good fenle 
 and good-humour among all his friends, write to a 
 wife who is the worthy object of his utmoft affection ? 
 Benevolus, both in public and private, and all occaii- 
 ons of life, appears to have every good quality and de- 
 iirable ornament. Abroad he is reverenced and efteem- 
 ed ; at home beloved and happy, The fatisfaction he 
 enjoys there, fettles into an habitual complacency, 
 which fhmes in his countenance, enlivens his wit, and 
 feaibns his converfation ; even thofe of his acquaint- 
 ance, who have never feen him in his retirement, are 
 fharers in the happinefs of k ; and it is very much 
 owing to his being the beil and beit-belpved of huf- 
 bands, that he is the moil ftedfaft of friends, and the 
 molt agreeable of companions. 
 
 THER.E is a feni'ible pkafure in contemplating fuch 
 beautiful infhnces of domeftic life. The happinefs of 
 the conjugal flate appears heightened to the higheft de- 
 gree it is capable of, when we fee two perfons of ac- 
 compiiihed minds, not only united in the fame interefts 
 and afteclions, but in their tafte of the fame improve- 
 ments, pleaiures and divcrflons. Pliny, one of the 
 fined gentlemen, and politeft writers of the age in 
 which he lived, has left us in his letter to Hifpulla, his 
 wife's aunt, one of the molt agreeable family-pieces of 
 this kind I ever met with. I fliall end this difcourfe 
 with a tranflation of it; and I believe the reader will 
 be of my opinion, that Conjugal Love is drawn in it 
 with a delicacy which makes it appear to be, as I have 
 reprefeiited it, an ornament as well as a virtue. 
 
 PLINY TO HISPULLA. 
 
 ' A SI remember the great affedtion which was be- 
 ' X A. tween you and your excellent brother, and 
 ' know you love his daughter as your own, fo as not 
 * only to exprefs the tendernefs ofthebeft of aunts, 
 ' but even to fupply that of the belt of fathers ; I am 
 ' fure it will be a pleafure to you to hear that fhe proves 
 
 ' worthy- 
 
208 THE SPECTATOR. Ntyjft;. 
 
 ' worthy of her father, worthy of you, and of your 
 ' and her anceftors. Her ingenuity is admirable; her 
 
 * frugality extraordinary. She loves me, the furefr. 
 
 * pledge of her virtue; and adds to this a wonderful 
 ' difpofition to learning, which fhe has acquired from 
 ' her affection to me. She reads my writings, Itudies 
 
 * them, and even gets them by heart. You would 
 
 * fmile to fee the concern fhe is in when I have a caufe 
 ' to plead, and the joy fhe fliews when it is over. She 
 ' finds means to have the firft news brought her of 
 
 * the fuccefs I meet with in court, how I am heard? 
 ' and what decree is made. If I recite any thing in 
 ' public, fhe cannot refrain from placing herfelf pri- 
 ' vately in Tome corner to hear, where with the utraoft 
 ( delight fhe feafts upon my applaufes. Sometimes 
 1 fhe lings my verfes, and accompanies them with the 
 •' lute, without any mafter, except love, the beft of 
 
 : inftructors. From thefe inftances I take the moft 
 certain omens of our perpetual and increafing hap- 
 pinefs ; fince her affection is not founded on my 
 youth and perfon, which muft gradually decay, but 
 fhe is in love with the immortal part of me, my glo- 
 ry and reputation. Nor indeed could lefs be expe- 
 cted from one who had the happinefs to receive her 
 education from you, who in your houfe was accu- 
 ftomed to every thing that was virtuous and decent, 
 and even began to love me by your recommendati- 
 on. For, as you had always the greateft refpect 
 for my mother, you were pleafed from my infancy 
 to form me, to commend me, and kindly to prefage 
 I fhould be one day what my wife fancies I am. Ac- 
 cept therefore our united thanks ; mine, that you 
 have bellowed her on me, and hers, that you have 
 given me to her, as amutual grant of joy and felicity, 
 
 Monday.^ 
 
NO S 26. THE SPECTATOR. 209 
 
 N°52 6. Monday, November 3. 
 
 Fortius utereloris. Ovid. Met. 1. 2. v. 127, 
 
 Keep a ft iff rein . Addison. 
 
 A M very loth to come to extremities with the 
 young gentlemen mentioned in the following let- 
 ter, and do not care to chaftife them with my own 
 hand, till I am forced by provocations too great to be 
 fuffered without the abfolute deftrudtion of my fpecla- 
 torial dignity. The crimes of thefe offenders are placed 
 under the obfervation of one of my chief officers, who 
 is polled julr. at the entrance of the pafs between Lon- 
 don and Wefrminfter. As I have great confidence in the 
 capacity, refolution and integrity of the perfon deput- 
 ed by me to give an account of enormities, I doubt 
 not but I fhall foon have before me all proper notices 
 which are requifite for the amendment of manners in 
 public, and the inftrudtion of each individual of the 
 human fpecies in what is due from him, in refpedt to 
 the whole body of mankind. The prefent paper fhall 
 confift only of the above-mentioned letter, and the 
 copy of a deputation which I have given to my trufly 
 friend Mr. John Sly; wherein he is charged to notify 
 to me all that is neceffary for my animadverfion upon 
 the delinquents mentioned by my correfpondent, as 
 well as all others defcribed in the faid deputation. 
 
 To the Spectato r-G e n e r a l of Great-Britain. 
 
 * I GRANT it does look a little familiar, but I muft 
 ' call you 
 
 Dear Dumb, 
 
 EING got again to the farther end of the Wi- 
 dow's coffee-houfe, I fhall from hence give you 
 * fome account of the behaviour of our hackney-coach* 
 
 ' men 
 
2IO 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. NO 52 6. 
 
 men fince my lad. Thefe indefatigable gentlemen, 
 without the lend defign, I dare fay, of f'elf-intered 
 or advantage to themfelves, do flill ply as voluntiers 
 day and night for the good of their country. I will 
 not trouble you with enumerating many particulars, 
 but I mud by no means omit to inform you of an 
 infant about fix foot high, and between twenty and 
 thirty years of age, who was feen in the arms of a 
 hackney-coachman driving by Will's coffee-houfe in 
 Covent-Garden, between the hours of four and five 
 in the afternoon of that very day, wherein you pub- 
 limed a memorial againd them. This impudent 
 young cur, tho' he could not fit in a coach-box 
 without holding, yet would he venture his neck to bid 
 defiance to your fpectatorial authority, or to any 
 thing that you countenanced. Who he was I know 
 not, but I heard this relation this morning from a 
 gentleman who was an eye-witnefs of this his im- 
 pudence ; and I was willing to take the fird opportu- 
 nity to inform you of him, as holding it extremely re- 
 cjuifite that you mould nip him in the bud. But I am 
 myfelf mod concerned for my fellow-templars, fellow- 
 dudents, and fellow-labourers in the law, I mean 
 fuch of them as are dignified and didinguifhed under 
 the denomination of hackney-coachmen. Such afpi- 
 ring minds have thefe ambitious young men, that 
 they cannot enjoy themfelves out of a coach-box. It is 
 however an unfpeakable comfort to me, that lean now 
 tell you, that fome of them are grown fo bafhful as to 
 dudy only in the night-time, or in the coun try. The 
 other night I fpied one of our young gentlemen very 
 diligent at his lucubrations in Fleet-Street ; and by 
 i the way, I fhould be under fome concern, led this 
 ' hard dudent (liould one time or other crack his brain 
 
 * with dudying, but that I am in hopes nature has tak- 
 ; en care to fortify him in proportion to the great un- 
 ' dertakings he was defigned for. Another of my fel- 
 
 * low-templars> on Thurfday lad, was getting up into 
 
 * his dudy at the bottom of Grays-Inn-Lane, in order, 
 ' Ifuppofe, to contemplate in the freih air. Now, Sir, 
 
 * my requeft is, that the great modedy of thefe two- 
 i gentlemen may be recorded as a pattern to the red ; 
 
 ' and 
 
N°526. THE SPECTATOR. 21 x 
 
 * and if you would but give them two or three touches 
 
 * with your own pen, tho 1 you might not perhaps pre- 
 
 * vail with them to defllt intirely from their meditati- 
 ' ons, yet I doubt not but you would at Ieaft prefervc 
 ' them from being public fpectacles of folly in our 
 ' Streets, I fay, two or three touches with your own 
 f pen ; for I have really obferved,IVIr. Spec, that thole 
 ' Spectators which arc fo prettily laced down the fides 
 1 with little c's, how instructive foever they may be, do 
 i not carry with them that authority as the others. I 
 ' do again therefore defire, that, for the fake of their 
 
 * dear necks, you will bellow one penfui of your own 
 ' ink upon them. I know you are loth to expofe them ; 
 
 * and it is, I muft confefs, a thoufand pities that an'y 
 ' young gentleman, who is come of honeil parents, 
 ' mould be brought to public Shame: and indeed I 
 i Should be glad to have them handled a little tenderly 
 
 * at the firfl ; but if fair means will not prevail, there is 
 
 * then no other way to reclaim them, but by making 
 
 * ufe of fome wholfom feverities ; and I think it is bet- 
 1 ' ter that a dozen or two of fuch good-for-nothing fel- 
 
 t lows fhould be made examples of, than that therepu- 
 
 * tation of fome hundreds of as hopeful young gentle- 
 ' man as myfelf mould fuffer thro' their folly. It is 
 ' not, however, for me to direct you what to do; but 
 ' in Short, if our coachmen will drive on this trade, 
 ' the very firft of them that I do find meditating in the 
 
 * Street, I fhall make bold to take the number of his 
 
 * chambers, together with a note of his name, and dif- 
 
 * patch them to you, that you may chaStife him at your 
 
 * own discretion. 
 
 J am, Dear Spec, 
 
 For ever yours, 
 Mofes Greenbag, 
 Efq; if you pleafe. 
 
 P.S. TOM. HAMMERCLOTH, oneofonr 
 ' coachmen, is now pleading at the bar at the other end 
 
 * of the room, but has a little too much vehemence, 
 ' and throws out his arms too much to take his audi- 
 
 * ence with a good grace. 
 
 To 
 
212 THE SPECTATOR. N°$26. 
 
 To my loving and well-beloved John Sly, haberdafher 
 of hats , and tobacconift, between the cities of London 
 
 and Weftininfter. 
 
 WHEREAS frequent diforders, affronts, indigni- 
 ties, omiffions, and trefpaffes, for which there 
 are no remedies by any form of law, but which appa- 
 rently difturb and difquiet the minds of men, happen 
 near the place of your refidence; and that you are, as 
 well by your commodious fituation, as the good parts 
 with which you are endowed, properly qualified for the I f, 
 obfervation of the faid offences; I do hereby authorife | j 
 and depute you, from the hours of nine in the morn- 
 ing, till four in the afternoon, to keep a ftri<5t eye upon 
 all perfons and things that are conveyed in coaches, 
 carried in carts, or walk on foot from the city of Lon- 
 don to the city of Weftmimter, or from the city of 
 Weftminfter to the city of London, within the faid 
 hours. You are therefore not to depart from your ob- 
 fervatory at the end of Devereux-Court during the faid 
 fpace of each day; but to obferve the behaviour of all 
 perfons who are fuddenly tranfported from (tamping on 
 pebbles to fit at eafe in chariots, what notice they take 
 of their foot-acquaintance, and fend ma|he fpeedieft ad- 
 vice, when they are guilty of over-looking, turning 
 from, or appearing grave and diftant to their old 
 friends. "When man and wife are in the fame coach, 
 you are to fee whether they appear pleafed or tired with 
 each other, and whether they carry the due mean in 
 the eye of the world between fondnefs and coldnefs. 
 You are carefully to behold all fuch as (hall have addi- 
 tion of honour or riches, and report whether they pre- 
 serve the countenance they had before fuch addition. 
 As to perfons on foot, you are to be attentive whether 
 they are pleafed with their condition, and are dreffed 
 fuitableto it: butefpecially to diftinguifii fuch as appear 
 difcreet, by a low heel fhoe, with the decent ornament 
 of a leather-gaiter: to write down the names of fuch 
 country gentlemen as, upon the approach of peace, 
 have left the hunting for the military cock of the hat : 
 of all who ftrut, make a noife, and fwear at the drivers 
 of coaches to make hade, when they fee it impoffible 
 
 they 
 
NO 527. THE SPECTATOR. 213 
 
 they fliould pafs : of all young gentlemen in coach- 
 boxes, who labour at a perfection in what they are fure 
 to be excelled by the meaneft of the people. Yeu are 
 to do all that in you lies that coaches and paftengers 
 give way according to the courfe of bufinefs, all the 
 morning in term-time towards Weftminfter, the reft of 
 the year towards the Exchange. Upon thefe directions 
 together with other fecret articles herein inclofed, you 
 are to govern yourfelf, and give advertifement thereof 
 to me at all convenient and fpeclatorial hours, when 
 men of bufinefs are to be feen. Hereof you are not to 
 fail. Given under my feal of office. 
 T The Spectator. 
 
 N° 527. Tuefday, November 4. 
 
 Facile invenies et pejorem, et pejus moratam ; 
 Meliorem neque tu reperies, ncque fol videt. 
 
 Plautus in Sticho. 
 You will eafily find a worfe woman; abetter the ftm 
 never Jhone upon. 
 
 AM fo tender of my women-readers, that I cannot 
 defer the publication of any thing which concerns 
 their happinefs or quiet. The repofe of a married 
 woman is confulted in the firft of the following letters, 
 and the felicity of a maiden lady in the fecond. I call 
 it a felicity to have the addreifes of an agreeable man : 
 and I think I have not any where feen a prettier ap- 
 plication of a poetical ftory than that of his, in making 
 the tale of Cephalus and Procris the hiftory-picture of 
 a fan in fo gallant a manner as he addrefles it. But fee 
 the letters. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 ' TT is now almoft three months fince I was in town 
 'X about fome bufinefs; and the hurry of it being 
 \ over, took coach one afternoon, and drove to fee a re- 
 * lation, who marritd about fix years ago a wealthy ci- 
 
 * tizen. 
 
n-4 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. NO527. 
 
 * tizcn. I found her at home, but her hufb.ind gone to 
 '• the Exchange, and expected back within an hour at 
 ' the farthefl. After the ufual falutations of kindnefs. 
 ' and a hundred quefiions about friends m the country, 
 ' we fat down to piquet, played two or three* games, 
 ' and drank tea. 1 fhould have told you that this was 
 
 < my fecond time of feeing her fince marriage; but be- 
 
 * fore, (he lived at the fame town where I went tofchool; 
 ' fo that the plea of a relation, added to the innocence 
 ' of my youth, prevailed upon her good-humour to in- 
 ' dulge me in a freedom of converfation as often, and 
 ' oftner, than the ftrict difcipline of the fchool would 
 ' allow of. You may eafiiy imagine after fuch an ac- 
 
 * quaintance we might be exceeding merry without any 
 i offence, as in calling to mind how many inventions 
 
 * I had been put to in deluding the mailer, how many 
 
 * hands forged for excufes, how many times been fick 
 ' in perfect health; for I was then never fick but at 
 ' fchool, and only then becaufe out of her company. 
 ' We had whiled away three hours after this manner, 
 ' when I found it pall five ; and not expecting her 
 & hulband would return 'till late, rofe up, told her I 
 
 * mould go early next morning for the country : me 
 
 * kindly anfwered fhe was afraid it would be long before 
 
 < Die faw me again; fo I took my leave and parted. 
 ' Now, Sir, I had not been got home a fortnight, when 
 
 * I received a letter from a neighbour of theirs, that 
 
 * ever fince that fatal afternoon the lady had been moll 
 
 * inhumanly treated, and the hufband publicly fiormed 
 ' that he was made a member of too numerous a focicty. 
 *■ lie had, it feems, iiftned mod of the time my coufin 
 
 * and I were together. As jealous ears always hear 
 
 * double, fo he heard enough to make him mad ; and as 
 ' jealous eyes always fee thio' magnifying-glafles, fo he 
 *■ was certain k could not be I whom he had feen, a 
 ' beardlefs (tripling, but fancied he faw a gay gentle- 
 ' man of the Temple, ten years older than myfelf ; and 
 
 * for that reafon, I prefume,durfi not come in, nor take 
 *, any notice when I went out. He is perpetually afking 
 *■ his wife if fhe does not think the time long (as lhe faid 
 *■ flic fhouJd) till fhe fee her coufin again. Pray, Sir,' 
 
 < what can be done in this cafe ? I have writ to him to 
 
N°5 27- THE SPECTATOR. 215 
 
 * allure him I was at his houfe all that afternoon cx- 
 
 * pecting to fee him : Kis anfwer is, it is only a trick 
 
 * of hers, end that he neither can nor will beliese me. 
 f The parting kifs I find mightily nettles him, and 
 
 * confirms him in all his errors. Ben Johnfon, as I re- 
 
 * member, makes a foreigner in one of his comedies, 
 ' admire the defperate valour of the bol.l En^lijh, who 
 ' let out their wives to all encounters. The general cu- 
 
 < ftom of fulutation fhould excufe the favour done me, 
 ' or you fhould lay down rules when fuch diftinclions 
 ' are to be given or omitted. You cannot imagine, Sir, 
 
 * how troubled I am for this unhappy lady's misfor- 
 i tune, and beg you would infert this letter, that the 
 ' huiband may reflect upon this accident coolly. • It is 
 
 * no fmall matter, the eafe of a virtuous woman for her 
 1 whole life : I know flie will conform to any regula- 
 1 rities (tho' more Uriel than the common rules of our 
 ' country require) to which his particular temper fhall 
 ' incline him to oblige her. This accident puts me in 
 ' mind how gencroufly Pififtratus the Athenian tyrant 
 ' behaved himfelf on a like occafion, when he was infti- 
 1 gated by his wife to put to death a young gentleman, 
 i becaufe being paffionately fond of his daughter, he 
 i kified her in public as he met her in the ftreet; What 
 
 * (Tays (he) jhall we do to thofe who are our enemies, if 
 
 * we do thus to thofe who ere our friends ? I will not 
 ' trouble you much longer, but am exceedingly con- 
 
 < cerned left this accident may caufe a virtuous lady to 
 
 * lead a miferable life with a hufband, who has no 
 ' grounds for bis jealoufy but what I have faithfully 
 
 * related, and ought to be reckoned none. It is to be 
 
 < feared too, if at laft he fees his miftake, yet people will 
 
 * be as flow and unwilling in difbelieving fcandal, as 
 
 * they are quick and forward in believing it. I mall 
 
 * endeavour to enliven this plain honeft letter with O- 
 ' vid's relation about Cybele's image. This (hip where- 
 
 < in it was aboard was ftranded at the mouth of the 
 
 * Tiber, and the men were unable to move it, 'till 
 
 * Claudia, a virgin, but fufpected of unchaftity, by a 
 ' flight pull hawled it in. The ftory is told in the 
 ' fourth book of the Fafti. 
 
 Parent 
 
216 THE SPECTATOR. N° 527. 
 
 Parent of gods, began the weeping fair, 
 
 Reward or punijb, but, 0! hear my pray' r. 
 
 Jflewdnefs e'er defil'd my virgin bloom, 
 
 From heav'n with jujlice I receive my doom ; 
 
 But if my honour yet has known no /lain, 
 
 Thou, goddefs, thou my innocence maintain; 
 
 Thou, whom the nicejl rules of ' goodnefs fway \i ', 
 
 Vouchfafe tofolloiu an unblemijh'd maid. 
 
 She f poke, and touch' d the cord with glad fur prize, 
 
 (The truth was witnefs'd by ten thoufand eyes) 
 
 The pitying goddefs eafily comply' d, 
 
 Follow' d in triumph, and adorn d her guide ; 
 
 While Claudia, blujhing Jlillfor paft difgracc, 
 
 March' d filent on with a flow folemn pace : 
 
 Nor yet from fome was all dlflrufl remov'd, 
 
 Tho' heav'n fuch virtue by fuch wonders prov'd. 
 
 I am, SIR, 
 
 Your very humble fervant, 
 
 Philagnotes. 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 ( "X/'OU w ^ oblige a languishing lover, if you will 
 i X pleafe to print the inclofed verfes in your next- 
 
 * paper. If you remember theMetamorphohs, you know 
 ' Procris, the fond wife of Cephalus, is faid to have 
 e made her hufband, who delighted in the fports of the 
 
 * wood> a prefent of an unerring javelin. In procefs 
 
 * of time he was fo much in the foreft, that his lady 
 
 * fufpected he was purfuing fome nymph, under the 
 
 * pretence of following a chace more innocent. Under 
 ' this fufpicion (lie hid herfelf among the trees* to ob- 
 
 < ferve his motions. While fhe lay concealed, her huf- 
 
 * band, tired with the labour of hunting, came within 
 
 < her hearing. As he was fainting with heat, he cried 
 
 * out, Aura veni ; Oh charming air approach. 
 
 * THE unfortunate wife, taking the word Air to 
 
 * be the name of a woman, began to move among the 
 
 * buihes ; and the hulband believing it a deer, threw 
 ' his javelin and killed her. This hiftory painted on a 
 
 * fan, which I prefented to a lady, gave occalion to 
 
 * my growing poetical. 
 
 Come* 
 
KOfif, THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 Come, gentle air ! thl JEolianJhepherdfaid, 
 
 While Procris panted in the fecreijliade ; 
 
 Come, gentle air ! the fairer Delia cries, 
 
 While at her feet her /wain expiring lies. 
 
 Lo the glad gales o'er all her beauties fir ax -, 
 
 .Breathe on her lips-, and in her bofomplay. 
 
 In Delia's hand this toy ii fatal found, 
 
 Nor did that fabled dart more fur ely ■wound. 
 
 Both gifts definitive to the givers prove, 
 
 Alike both lovers fall by thofe they love : 
 
 Tet guilt lefs too this bright defiroyer lives, 
 
 At random wounds, nor knows the wound Jhe gives. 
 
 She views the fiory with attentive eyes y 
 
 And pities Procris-, while her lover dies. 
 
 :i7 
 
 N° 528. Wednefday y November 5, 
 
 Dum potuit, folita gemituin virtule r-eprefiit. 
 
 •Ovid. Met. 1. 9. v. 163. 
 
 With wonted fortitude floe bore thefmart, 
 
 And not a groan cojifefs'd her burning heart. Gay, 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 I WHO now write to yon, am a woman loaded 
 with injuries, and the aggravation of my misfor- 
 tune is, that they areiuch which are overlooked 
 by the generality of mankind, and though the moit 
 afflicting imaginable, not regarded as fuch in the ge- 
 neral fenfe of the world. I have hid my vexationfroni 
 dl mankind; but have now taken pen, ink, and pa- 
 per, and am refolved to unbofom myfelf to you, 
 and lay before you what grieves me and all the fex. 
 You have very often mentioned particular hard- 
 ships done to this or that lady ; but, methinks, yon 
 have not in any one fpeculation diredlly pointed at 
 the partial freedom men fake, the unreafonabie con- 
 finement women are obliged to, in the only circum- 
 ' ftance in which we are neceiTarily to hav£ a com- 
 merce with them, that of love. The cafe of celibacv 
 Vol, VII. K < U 
 
2i8 THE SPECTATOR. No 528. 
 
 ' is the great evil of our nation ; and the indulgence 
 ' of the vicious conduct of men in that date, with the 
 ' ridicule to which women are expofed, though ever 
 ' fo virtuous, if long unmarried, is the root of the 
 
 * greatefl irregularities of this nation. To (hew you, 
 ' Sir, that tho' you never have given us the catalogue 
 
 * of a lady's library as you promifed, we read good 
 ' books of our own choohng, I (hall infer t on this oc- 
 
 * cafion a Paragraph or two out of Echard's Roman 
 
 * Hiilory. In the 44th page of the fecond volume the 
 ' author obferves, that Auguftus, upon his return to 
 ' Rome at the end of a war, received complaints that 
 
 * too great a number of the young men of quality were 
 
 * unmarried. The emperor thereupon aflembled the 
 ' whole Equeitrian order ; and having feparated the 
 ' married from the hngle, did particular honours to the 
 
 * former; but he told the latter, that is to fay, Mr. 
 
 * Spectator, he told the bachelors, " That their 
 H lives and actions had been fo peculiar, that he knew 
 u not by what name to call them; not by that of men, 
 " for they performed nothing that was manly ; not by 
 (t that of citizens, for the city might perifh notwith- 
 " landing their care ; norby that of Romans, for they 
 " defigned to extirpate the Roman name." Then pro- 
 
 * ceedingto fhewhis tender care and hearty affection 
 ' for his people, he further told them, " That their 
 if courfeof life was of fuch pernicious confequence to 
 *' the glory and grandeur of the Roman nation, that 
 " he could not chufe but tell them, that all other crimes 
 " put together could not equalize theirs: for they were 
 " guilty of murder, in not fuffering thofe to be born 
 <l which mould proceed from them ; of impiety, in 
 u caufing the names and honours of their anceftors to 
 " ceafe; and offacrilege,indeitroying their kind, which 
 " proceeded from the immortal gods, and human nature, 
 ( ' the principal thing confecrated to them /therefore in 
 " tliis refpect they diflblved the government, in dif- 
 if obeying its laws ; betrayed their country,by making 
 < l it barren and wafle; nay and demolifhed their city, 
 <( in depriving it of inhabitants. And he was fenfible 
 « that all this proceeded not from any kind of virtue 
 " or abftinence, but from a loofenefs and wantonnefs, 
 il which ought never to be encouraged in any civil go- 
 
 i( verhment." 
 
NO j'rifc THE SPECTATOR. ite 
 
 c vernment." There are no particulars dwelt upon that 
 let us into the conduct of thefe young worthies, "whom 
 this great emperor treated withfo much juflicc and in- 
 dignation-; but any one who obferves what pafles in 
 this town, may very well frame to himfelf a notion of 
 their riots and debaucheries all night, and their ap- 
 parent preparations for them all day. It is not to be 
 doubted but thefe Romans never pafTed any of their 
 time innocently but when they were afieep, and never 
 flept but when they were weary and heavy with excef- 
 fes, and (lent only to prepare themfelves for the rcpe** 
 tition of them. If you did your duty as a Specta- 
 tor, you would carefully examine into the number 
 of births, marriages, and burials; and when you had 
 deducted out of your deaths all fuch as went out of the 
 world without marrying, then caftup the number of 
 both Fexes born within fuch a term of years laft paft, 
 you might from the Angle people departed make fome 
 ufeful inferences or gueiles how many there 3re left 
 unmarried, and raife fome ufeful fcheme for the amend- 
 ment of the «ge in that particular. I have not patien c<i 
 to proceed gravely on this abominable libertinifm; 
 for I cannot but reflect, as I am writing to you, upon 
 a certain lafcivious manner which all our young gen- 
 tlemen ufe in public, and examine our eyes with x 
 pctulancy in their own, which is a downright affront 
 to modefty. A difdainful look on fuch an occaiion is 
 returned with a countenance rebuked, but by averting 
 their eyes from the woman of honour and decency 
 to fome flippant creature, who will, as the phrafe is, 
 be kinder. I muft fet down things as they come into my 
 head, without (landing upon order. Ten tboufandto 
 one but the gay gentleman who ftared, at the fame 
 time is an housekeeper; for you muft know they have 
 got into a humour of late of being very regular in their 
 fins, and 'a young fellow (hall keep his four maids 
 and three footmen with the greateft gravity imagi- 
 nable. There are no lefs than (ix of thefe venerable 
 houfekeepers of my acquaintance. This humour a- 
 mong young men of condition is imitated by all the 
 world below them, and a general diflblution of man- 
 ners arifes from this one fourceof libertinifm, without 
 K 2 * foame 
 
220 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 No 528. 
 
 * fhame or reprehenfion in the male youth. It is from 
 
 * this one fountain that fo many beautiful helplefs young 
 
 * women are facrificed and given up to lewdnefs, fhame, 
 
 * poverty and difeafe. It is to this alfo that fo many 
 ' excellen t young women, who might be patterns of con - 
 ' jugal affeclion and parents of a worthy race, pine un- 
 ' der unhappy paflions for fuch as h?.ve not attention 
 ' enough to obferve, or virtue enough to prefer them to 
 
 * their common wenches. Now, Mr. Spectator, I 
 ' muft be free to own to you, that I myfelf fuffcr a tafte- 
 
 * lefs infipid being, from a confideration I have for a 
 
 * man who would not, as he has laid in my hearing, re- 
 ' fign his liberty as he calls it, for all the beauty and 
 ' wealth the whole fex is pofTefled of. Such calamities 
 i as theft: would not happen, if it could pofTibly be 
 
 * brought about, that by fining bachelors as papifts 
 ' convicl, or the like, they were diftinguiflied to their 
 
 * difadvantage from the reft of the world, who fall in 
 ' with the meafures of civil focieties. Left you mould 
 ' think I fpeak this as being, according to the fenfelefs 
 ' rude phrafe, a malicious old maid, I (hall acquaint 
 ' you I am a woman of condition not now three and 
 
 * twenty, and have had propofuls from atleaft ten dif- 
 "' ferent men, and the greater number of them have up- 
 
 * on the upfiiot refufed me. Something or other is al- 
 ' ways amifs when the lover takes to fome new wench : 
 f a fettlement is eafily excepted againit; and there is 
 
 * very little recourfe to avoid the vicious part of our 
 
 * youth, but throwing one's felf away upon fome lifelefs 
 ' blockhead, who, tho' he is without vice, is alfo with- 
 
 * out virtue. Now-a-days we mnft be contented if we 
 
 * can get creatures which are nofbad, good are not to 
 .* be expected. Mr. Spectator, I fat near you the" 
 
 ' other day, and think I did not difpleafe your fpecra- 
 
 * torial eyefight; which I fliall be a better judge of 
 e when ] fee whether you take notice of thefe evils your 
 
 * own way, or print this memorial didated from the 
 ' difdainful heavy heart of, 
 
 S I R, 
 
 Tour moft obedient humble fervant, 
 T Rachel Welladay. 
 
 Tburjdajy 
 
N°529« THE SPECTATOR. 221 
 
 N° 529. Tburfday, November 6. 
 
 Singula quaeque locum teneant fortiia decenter. 
 
 Hor.' Ars Poet. v. 92. 
 
 Let ev'ry thing have its due place. 
 
 Roscommon, 
 
 PON the hearing of feveral late difputes con- 
 cerning rank and precedence, I could not for- 
 bear amufing myfelf with fome observations, 
 which I have made upon the learned world, as to this 
 great particular. By the learned world I here mean 
 at large, all thofe who are any way concerned in works 
 of literature, whether in the writing, printing or re- 
 peating part. To begin with the writers ; I have, ob- 
 ferved that the author of a Folio, in all companies and 
 converfations, fets himfelf above the author of a Quar- 
 to; the author of a Quarto above the author of an 
 " Oclavo ; and fo on, by a gradual defcent and fnbordi- 
 nation, to an author in Twenty Fours. This dii'Knctioi 
 is fo well obferved, that in an aifembly of the learned, 
 I have feen a Folio writer place himfelf in an elbow- 
 chair, when the author of a Duodecimo has, out of a 
 juft deference to bis f uperior quality, feated himfelf up- 
 on a fquab. In a word, authors are ufually ranged in. 
 company after the fame manner as their works are up- 
 on a fhelf. 
 
 THE mod minute pocket-author hath beneath 
 him the writers of all pamphlets, or works that are on- 
 ly ititched. As for the pamphleteer, he takes place of 
 none but of the authors of lingle meets, and of that 
 fraternity who publifh their labours on certain days^ 
 or on every day of the week. I do not find that the 
 precedency among the individuals, in this latter clafs 
 of writers, is yet iettled. 
 
 FOR my own part, I have had fo ftrict a regard to 
 
 the ceremonial which prevails in the learned world, 
 
 K 3 that 
 
222 THE SPECTATOR. N°520. 
 
 thai I never prcfumcd to take place of a pamphleteer 
 'till my daily papers were gathered into thole two firffc 
 volumes, which have already appeared. After which, I 
 naturally jumped over the heads not only of all pam- 
 phleteers? but of every Ocftavo writer in Great-Britain, 
 that had written but one book. I am a-lfo informed by 
 my bcokfeller, that fix Odtavos have at alt times been 
 looked upon as an equivalent to a Folio, which I take 
 notice of the rather, becaufe I would nothave the learn- 
 ed world furprifed, if after the publication of half a do- 
 5-en volumes I take my place accordingly. When my 
 fcattered forces are thus rallied, and reduced into 
 regular bodies, I flatter myfelf that I fhall make no def- 
 picable figure at the head of them. 
 
 WHETHER thefe rules, which have been re- 
 ceived time out of mind in the commonwealth of let- 
 ters? were not originally eftablifhed with an eye to our 
 paper manufacture, I fhall leave to the di r cuifion of o- 
 S therSj and fhall only remark further in this place, that 
 % ailprinters and bookfellers take the wall of one ano- 
 ther, according to the abovementioned merits of the 
 U'uthors to whom they refpeclively belong. 
 
 I COME now to that point of precedency which 13 
 fettled among the three learned profeffions, by the wif- 
 dom of our laws. I need not here take notice of the 
 rank which is allotted to every doc~tor in each of thefe 
 profeffions, who are all of them, though not fo high as 
 knights, yet a degree above fquires; this laft order 
 of men, being the illiterate body of the nation, are con- 
 sequently thrown together into a clafs below the three 
 learned profeffions. I mention this for the fake of fe- 
 veral rural 'fquires, whofe reading does not rife fo high 
 as to the prefent flate of England, and who are often 
 apt to ufurp that precedency which by the laws of 
 their country is not due to them. Their want of learn- 
 ing, which has planted them in this ftation> may in 
 fome meafure extenuate their mifdemeanour , and our 
 profeffors ought to pardon them when they offend in 
 this particular, confidering that they are in a ftate of 
 ignorance, or, as we ufually fay? do not know their 
 sight hand from their left. 
 
 THERE 
 
NO^o. THE SPECTATOR. 223 
 
 THERE is another tribe of perfons who are retain- 
 ers to the learned world, and who regulate themfelves 
 upon all occafions by feveral laws peculiar to their bo- 
 dy. I mean the players or aclors of both fexes. A- 
 mong thefe it is a (landing and uncontroverted prin- 
 ciple, that a tragedian always takes place of a comedi- 
 an ; and 'tis very well known the merry drolls who 
 make us laugh are always placed at tbe lower end of 
 the table, and in every entertainment give way to the 
 dignity of the bufkin. It is a ftage maxim, Once a 
 king and always a king. For this reafonit would be 
 thought very abfurd in Mr. Bullock, notwithstanding 
 the height and gracefulnefs of his perfon, to (it at the 
 right hand of an hero, though he were but five foot 
 high. The fame diftinclion is obferved among the la- 
 dies of the theatre. Queens and heroines preferve their 
 rank in private converfation, while thofe who are 
 waiting-women and maids of honour upon the (tage, 
 keep their diftance alfo behind the fcenes. 
 
 I SHALL only »dd, that by a parity of reafon, all 
 writers of tragedy look upon it as their due to befeated, 
 ferved, or faluted before comic writers : thofe who 
 deal in tragi-comedyufually taking their feats between 
 the authors of either fide. There has been a long dif- 
 pute for precedency between the tragic and heroic po- 
 ets. Ariftotle would have the latter yield the pas to the 
 former ; but Mr. Dryden and many others would ne- 
 ver fubmit to this decifion. Burlefque writers pay the 
 fame deference to the heroic, as comic writers- to their 
 ferious brothers in the drama. 
 
 BY this (hort table of laws, order is kept up, and 
 di(lincl:ion preferved in the whole republic of let- 
 ters. O 
 
 K 4 Friday, 
 
224 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 J0Pfg«t 
 
 N ( 
 
 530. Friday, November 7. 
 
 Sic v'tfum Vemri j. cut placet imparcs 
 Format at que amnios- fub juga ahenea 
 
 Saevomittere cumjoco. Hor. OCL33. 1. l, v. io» 
 
 Thus Venus /ports ; the rich, the bafe, 
 Unlike in fortune, and in face, 
 To -dif agreeing love provokes ; 
 
 IV hen cruelly jocofe, 
 
 She ties the fatal noofr, 
 And binds unequal s to the brazen yokes . Cr e e c K-. 
 
 IT is very ufual for thofe who have been fevere 
 upon marriage, in fome part or other of their 
 lives to enter into the fraterrjty which they have 
 ridiculed,, and to fee their rallery return upon their 
 own heads. I fcarce ever knew a woman-hater that 
 did not, fooner or later, pay for it. Marriage, which 
 is a bkiFmg to another man, falls upon fuch an one as 
 a judgment. Mr. Congreve's Old-bachelor is fet forth 
 to us with much wit and humour, as an example of 
 this kind. In fhort, thofe who have raoft diftinguifh- 
 td themfelves by railing at the fex in general, very 
 often make an honourable amends, by chilling one of 
 the inert v/orthlefs perfons of it, for a companion and 
 yoke-fellow. Hymen takes his revenge in kind, on 
 thofe who turn his myfteries into ridicule. 
 
 MY friend Will Honeycomb, who was fo unmer- 
 cifully witty upon the women, in a couple of letters, 
 which I lately communicated to the public, has given 
 the ladies ample fatisfadtion by marrying a farmer's 
 daughter; a piece of news which came to our club by 
 ihelaftpoft. The Templar is very pofitivethathe has 
 married a dairy-maid: but Will, in his letter to me 
 on this occafion, fets the beft face upon the matter 
 that he can, and gives a more tolerable account of his 
 
 foo 
 
 ■uie. 
 
 I mull confefs I fufpe&ed fomething more 
 
 fehan 
 
Ts°53°- THE SPECTATOR. 225 
 
 than, ordinary, when upon opening the letter I found 
 that Will was fallen off from his former gaiety ,having 
 changed Dear Spec, which was his ufual falute at the 
 beginning of the letter, into My worthy />/>«./, and iub- 
 fcribed himfelf in the latter end of it at full length 
 William Honeycomb. Infhortthegay, the loud, the 
 vain Will Honeycomb, who had made love to every 
 great fortune that has appeared in town for above 
 thirty years together, and boailed of favours from la- 
 dies whom he had never feen, is at length wedded to a 
 plain country girl. 
 
 HIS letter gives us the picture of a converted rake. 
 The fbber character of the hufband is dallied with the 
 man of the town, and enlivened with thofe little cant- 
 phrafes which have made my friend Will often 
 thought very pretty company. But let us hear what 
 he fays for himfelf. 
 
 My worthy friend, 
 
 * T' QUESTION not but you, and the reft of my 
 ' JL acquaintance, wonder that I who have lived in the 
 ' fmoke and gallantries of the town for thirty years 
 ' together, fliould all on a fudden grow fond of a conn- 
 
 * try life. Had not my dog of a ftewardrun away as he^ 
 
 * did, without making up his accounts, I had ftili 
 
 < been immerfed in fin and fea-coal. But fince my late 
 
 < forced v-ifit to my eftate, I am fo pleafed with it, that 
 ' I am refolved to live and die upon it. I am every 
 ' day abroad among my acres, and can fcarce forbear 
 ' filling my letter with breezes, fhades, flowers, mea- 
 1 dows, and purling ftreams. The fimplicity of man- 
 ' ners, which I have heard you fo often fpeak of, and 
 1 which appears here in perfection, charms me won- 
 
 * derfully. As an inftance of it, I muft acquaint yon, 
 ' and by your means the whole club, that I have lately 
 ' married one of my tenant's daughters. She is born 
 ' of honefr. parents, and though fhe has no portion, 
 ' fhe has a great deal of virtue. The natural fweet- 
 ' nefs and innocence of her behaviour, the frefhnefs of 
 1 her complexion, the unaffected turn of her fhapeand 
 ' perfon, fhot me through and through every time I 
 ' faw her, and did more execution upon me in Gro- 
 
 K 5 ' gram, 
 
226 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 N°53o. 
 
 gram, than the greater!: beauty in town or court had 
 ever done in Brocade. In fhort, (he is fuch an one 
 as promifcs me a good heir to my eftate ; and if by 
 her means I cannot leave to my children what are 
 falfly called the gifts of birth, high titles and al- 
 liances, I hope to convey to them the more real and 
 valuable gifts of birth, flrong bodies, and healthy 
 conftitutions. As for your fine women, I need not 
 tell thee that I know them. I have had my fhare in 
 their graces, but no more of that. It fhall be my 
 bufinefs hereafter to live the life of an honefl: man, 
 and to ac"t as becomes the mafter of a family. I que- 
 ftion not but I fhall draw upon me the rallery of the 
 town, and be treated to the tune of The marriage- 
 hater matched \ but I am prepared for it. I have 
 been as witty upon others in my time. To tell thee 
 truly, I faw men a tribe of fafliionable young flutter- 
 ing coxcombs fliot up, that I did not think my poll 
 of an homme de ruske any longer tenable. I felt a 
 certain ftifThefs in my limbs, which intirely deftroy- 
 ed that jantinefs of air I was once mafter of. Be- 
 fides, for I may now confefs my age to thee, I have 
 been eight and forty above thefe twelve years. Since 
 my retirement into the country will make a vacancy 
 in the club, I could wifh you would fill up my place.- 
 with my friend Tom Dapperwit. He has an infinite 
 deal of fire, and knows the town. For my own part, 
 as I have laid before, I fhall endeavour to live here- 
 after fuitable to a man in my fta'tion, as a prndentr 
 head of a family, a good hufband, a careful father 
 (when it fhall fo happen) and as 
 
 Tear mofl fine ere friend,. 
 
 and humble fervant, 
 
 i William Honeycomb. 
 
 Saturday 
 
N° jgi- 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 2-r 
 
 N°53i. Saturday, November 8. 
 
 Qui mare et terras variifquevamdim 
 
 Temper At horis : 
 Uncle nil majus generatur ipfo, 
 Nee vieet quicquam jimile autfecundum. 
 
 Hor. Od. 12. 1. i. 
 
 v. I- 
 
 Creech. 
 
 Who guides below, and rules above, 
 The great difpofer, and the mighty king : 
 Than he none greater, next him none. 
 
 That can be, is, or was s- 
 Supreme he fingly fills the throne. 
 
 SIMONIDES, being afked by Dionyfius the tyrant 
 what God was, dclired a day's time to coniitier ot 
 it before he made his reply. When the day was 
 exoired, he defired two days ; and afterwards, mnead 
 of returning his anfwer, demanded flffl double time to 
 confider of it. Thisgreat poet and philofopher, the more 
 he contemplated the nature of the deity, found that he 
 waded but the more out of his depth ; and that he lott 
 himfelf in the thought, inftead of finding an end ot it. 
 IF we confider the idea which wife men, by the light 
 ofrcafon, have framed of the Divine Being, it amounts 
 to this : that he has in him all the perfection of a i pi- 
 ritual nature ; and lince we have no notion of any kind 
 of fpiri'tual perfection but what we difcover in our own 
 fouls, we join infinitude to each kind of thefe per- 
 fections, and what is a faculty in an human foul be- 
 comes an attribute in God. We exift in place and time, 
 the Divine Being fills the immenfity of fpace with his 
 prefence, and inhabits eternity. We are pofTeiled of a 
 little power and a little knowlege, the Divine Being 
 is almighty and omnifcient. In fhort,by adding infinity 
 to any kind of perfection we enjoy, and by joining all 
 
22$ THE SPECTATOR. N°jsr. 
 
 thefe different kinds of perfections in one being, we 
 form our idea of the great Sovereign of nature. 
 
 THOUGH every one that thinks muft have made 
 this obfervation, I fhall produce Mr. Locke's au- 
 thority to the fame purpofe, out'of his Eifay on human 
 underftanding. * If we examine the idea we have of 
 
 * the incomprehenfible Supreme Being, we ihall find, 
 
 * that we come by it the fame way*; and that the com- 
 
 * plex ideas we have both of God and feparate fpirits, 
 < are made up of the fimple ideas we receive from re- 
 
 * flexion: v.g. having, from what we experiment in 
 
 * ourfelves, got the ideas of exiftence and duration, 
 ' of know lege and power, of pleafure and happinefs, 
 ' and of feveral other qualities and powers, which it is 
 ( better to have than to be without ; when we would 
 
 * frame an idea the mod fnitable we can to the Su- 
 
 * preme Being, we enlarge every one of thefe with 
 
 * our ideaofin.inity ; and f o putting them together* 
 
 * make our complex idta of God. 
 
 : IT is not impoffible that there may be many kinds 
 s>f fpiritual perfection, bciides thofe which are lodged 
 in an human foul ; but it is impoffible that we mould 
 have ideas of any kinds of perfection, except thofe of 
 which we have fome fmaii rays and fhort imperfect 
 firokes in onrfelves. It would be therefore a very higb 
 prefuraption to determine whether the Supreme Being 
 has not many more attributes than thofe which enter 
 into our conceptions of him. This is certain, that if 
 there be any kind of fpiritual perfection which is riot 
 marked out in an human foul, it belongs in its fulnefs 
 to the divine nature. 
 
 SEVERAL eminent phil'ofophers have imagined^ 
 that the foul, in her feparate {fate, may have new facul- 
 ties fpringing up in her, which fhe is not capable of ex- 
 erting during her prefent union with the body ; and whe- 
 ther thefe faculties may not correfpond with other attri- 
 butes inthedivinenarure, and open to us hereafter new 
 matter of wonder and adoration, we are altogether igno- 
 rant. This, as I have faid before,we ought toacquiefce 
 in, that the fovereign Being,the great Author of nature, 
 bas in him all poffible perfection, as well in kind as in 
 
 degree \ 
 
N°53l. THE SPECTATOR. 229 
 
 degree; to fpeak according to our methods of conceiv- 
 ing. I mall only add under this head, that when we have 
 raifed our notion of this Infinite Being as high as it is 
 pofiible for the mind of man to go, it will fall infinitely 
 ihort of what he really is. There is no end of bis great- 
 ne/'s : the molt exalted creature he has made, is only cap- 
 able of adoring it, none but himfelf can comprehend it. 
 THE advice of the fon'of Sirach is very juft and 
 fublime in this light. By his word all things confift. We 
 may fpeak much, and yet come fiort : wherefore in fumy 
 he is all. How Jh all we be able to magnify him ? For he- 
 is great above all his works. The Lord is terrible and 
 very great ; and marvellous in his power. When you glo- 
 rify the Lord, exalt him as much as you can : for even yet 
 will he far exceed. And when you exalt him, put forth 
 all your flrength, and be not weary ; for you can never go 
 far enough. Who hath feen him, tbat he might tell us ? 
 And who can magnify him as he is ? There are yet hid 
 greater things than thefe be } for we have feen but a few 
 ef his works. 
 
 I HAVE here only confidered the Supreme Being by 
 the light of reafon and philofophy. If we would fee 
 him in all the wonders of his mercy we muff, have re- 
 courfe to revelation, which reprefents him to us, not 
 only as infinitely great and glorious, but as infinitely 
 good and juft in his difpenfations towards man. But 
 as this is a theory which falls under every one's confi- 
 deration, though indeed it can never be fufnciently con- 
 fidered, I (hall here only take notice of that habitual 
 worfhip and veneration which we ought to pay to this 
 Almighty Being, We fhould often refrelh our minds with 
 the thought of him, and annihilate ourfelves before 
 him, in the contemplation of our own worthleflhefs, 
 and of histranlcendent excellency and perfection. This 
 would imprint in our minds fuch a conftant and unin- 
 terrupted awe and veneration as that which I am here 
 recommending, and which is in reality a kind of in- 
 cefiant prayer, and reafonable humiliation of the foul 
 before him who made it. 
 
 THIS would effectually -kill in us all the little feeds 
 of pride, vanity and felf-conceit, which are apt to 
 flioot up in the minds of fv.ch whole thoughts turn 
 
 more 
 
230 THE SPECTATOR. NO531. 
 
 more on thofe comparative advantages which they en- 
 joy over fome of their fellow-creatures, than on that 
 infinite diftance which is placed between them and the 
 fupreme model of all perfection. It would likewife 
 quicken our defires and endeavours of uniting our- 
 felves to him by all the acts of religion and virtue. 
 
 SUCH an habitual homage to the Supreme Being 
 would, in a particular manner, baniih from among us 
 that prevailing impiety of ufing his name on the moft 
 trivial occafions. 
 
 I FIND the following pafTage in an excellent fer- 
 
 mon, preached at the funeral of a gentleman who was 
 
 an honour to his country, and a more diligent as well as 
 
 fuccefsful inquirer into the works of nature, than any 
 
 other our nation has ever produced : i He had the 
 
 profoundeft veneration for the great God of heaven 
 
 and earth that I have ever obferved in any perfon. 
 
 The very name of God was never mentioned by him 
 
 without a paufe, and a vifible flop in his difcourfe ; 
 
 in which, one that knew him moft particularly above 
 
 twenty years, has told me, that he was fo exact, that 
 
 he does not remember to have obferved him once to 
 
 fail in it. 
 
 EVERY one knows the veneration which was paid 
 by the Jews to a name fo great, wonderful and holy. 
 They would not let it enter even into their religious 
 difcourfes. "What can we then think of thofe who 
 make ufe of fo tremendous a name in the ordinary ex- 
 preffions of their anger, mirth, and moll impertinent 
 paffions ? Of thofe who admit it into the moll familiar 
 queftions and affertions, ludicrous phrafes and works- 
 of humour ? not to mention thofe who violate it by 
 folemn perjuries ? It would be an affront to reafon to 
 endeavour to fet forth the horror and profanenefs of 
 fuch a practice. The very mention of it expofes it 
 fufficiently to thofe in whom the light of nature, not 
 to fay religion, is not utterly extinguilhed. 6 
 
 Monday i 
 
N°532. THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 251 
 
 N° 532. Monday , November 10. 
 
 Fungor vice cotis, acutum 
 
 Redder e quae ferruni valet, exfors ipfafecand't. 
 
 Hor. ArsPoet. v. 304. 
 I play the whet ft one : ttfelefs and unfit 
 To cut my f elf } I Jharpen others wit. Creech. 
 
 IT is a very honeft action to be ftudious to produce 
 other mens merit; and I make no fcruple of faying 
 I have as much of this temper as any man in the 
 world. It would not be a thing to be bragged of, but 
 that it is what any man maybe mafter of who will take 
 pains enough for it. Much obfervation of the unwor- 
 thinefs in being pained at the excellence of another, 
 will bring you to a fcorn of yourfelf for that unwil- 
 lingnefs : and when you have got fo far, you will find 
 it a greater pleafure than you ever before knew, to be 
 zealous in promoting the fame and welfare of the praife- 
 worthy. I do not fpeak this as pretending to be a mor- 
 tified felf-denyingman, but as one who has turned his 
 ambition into a right channel. I claim to myfelf the 
 merit of having extorted excellent productions from a 
 perfon of the greateft abilities, who would not have let 
 them appeared by any other means ; to have animated 
 a few young gentlemen into worthy purfuits, who will 
 be a glory to our age ; and at all times, and by all pof- 
 iible means in my power, undermined the interefts of 
 ignorance, vice and folly, and attempted to fubftitute in 
 their Head, learning, piety and good fenfe. It is from 
 this honeft heart that I find my lelf honoured as agen- 
 tleman-uiher to the arts and fciences. Mr. Tickelland 
 Mr. Pope have, it feems, this idea of me. The former 
 has writ me an excellent paper of verfes in praife, for- 
 footh, of myfelf ; and the other inclofed for my perufal 
 an admirable poem, which, I hope, will fhortly fee the 
 light. In the mean time I cannot fupprefs any thought 
 of his, but infert his fentiment about the dying words of 
 Adrian. I will notdcrminein the cafe he mentions; but 
 
 hav° 
 
2y2 THE SPECTATOR. N° 532. 
 
 have thus much to fay in favour of his argument, that 
 many of his own works which I have feen, convince me 
 that very pretty and very fublime fentiments may be 
 lodged in the fame bofom without diminution to its 
 greatnefs. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 ' T WAS the other day in company with five or fix 
 ' X men of fome learning; where chancing to mention 
 
 * the famous verfes which the emperor Adrian fpokeon 
 
 * his death-bed, they were all agreed that it was a piece 
 
 < of gaiety unworthy that princein thofecircumftances. 
 
 < I could not but differ) t from this opinion : methinks 
 
 * it was by no means a gay, but averyferious foliloquy 
 
 * to his foul at the point of his departure: in which 
 
 < fenfe I naturally took the verfes at my firft reading 
 
 < them when I was very young, and before I knew what 
 
 * interpretation the world generally put upon them : 
 
 ' Antmula vagal a, blandula y 
 
 ' ( Hofpes comefque corporis, 
 
 * Quae nunc abibis in /oca ? 
 
 * Pallidula, rigiday nudula, 
 
 * Nee (ut files) dabisjocos! 
 
 { AlaS) my foul ! thou pleafing companion of this body y 
 1 thou fleeting thing that art now defer ting it J whither 
 
 * art thou fiying ? To what unknown region ? Thou art all 
 f trembling, fearful, and pen five. Now what is become of 
 1 thy former wit and humour ? Thou /halt jeft and be gay 
 ' no more. I confefs I cannot apprehend where lies the 
 
 * trifling in all this ; it is the mofl natural and obvious 
 i reflexion imaginable to a dying man: and if wecon- 
 ' fider the emperorwas a heathen>thatdoubt concerning 
 ' the future fate of his foul will feem fo far from being 
 
 * the effect of want of thought, that it was fcarce rea- 
 ' fonable he fhould think otherwife; not to mention that 
 
 * here is a plain confeffion included of his belief in its im- 
 
 * mortality. The diminutive epithets of Vagula> Blan- 
 
 * dula, and the reft, appear not to me as expreffions of 
 
 < levity,but ratherof endearment and concern ; fuch as 
 
 * we find in Catullus, and the authors of Henieca-fyllaki 
 « after him, where they are ufed to exprefs the utmoft 
 
 < love 
 
N°532. THE SPECTATOR. 23 J 
 
 ' love and tendernefs for their miftrelTes If you 
 
 ' think me right in my notion of the Iaft words of A- 
 ' drian> be pleafed to infert this ia the Spectator j 
 1 if not, to fupprefs it. 
 
 Jam, etc. 
 
 To the fuppofed Author of the Spectator. 
 
 IN courts licentious) and a Jhamelefs fiage, 
 Mow long the war (ball wit with virtue wage P 
 Inch anted by this pro/lit uted fair, 
 Our youth run headlong in the fatal fnare ; 
 In height of rapture clafp unheeded pains, 
 And fuck pollution thro'' their tingling veins. 
 
 THY fpotlefs thoughts unJhoelC d the priefl may hear > 
 And the pure veflal in her bojom wear. 
 To confciotis blujhes and diminifh'd pride, 
 Thy glafs betrays what treacherous love would hi de ; 
 Nor harjh thy precepts, but infused by Jlealth, 
 Pleafe while they cure, avd cheat us into health. 
 Thy works in Chlce's toilet gain a part, 
 Ai>d with his tailor fh are thefopling , s heart : 
 La/Pd in thy fatire, the penurious cit 
 Laughs at himfelf, and finds no harm in wit : 
 From felon gameflers the raw f qui re is free, 
 And Britain owes her refciCd oaks to thee. 
 His mifs the frolic vif count drea is to toqfl, 
 Or his third cure the Jh allow templar boafl ; 
 And the rajh fool whofcom'd the beaten road, 
 Dares quake at thunder, and confefs his God. 
 
 THE brainlefs jlripling, who, expell'd the town? 
 Damn'd the fiff college and pedantic gown, 
 Aw\i by thy name, is dumb, and thrice a week 
 spells uncouth Latin, and pretends to Greek. 
 A fantring tribe ! fuch born to wide eftates, 
 Wit h Tea and No infenates hold debates : 
 sit length dej'pis'd, each to his fields retires, 
 Firft with the dogs, and king amidjl the f quire s ;. 
 From pert to Jlupid finks fupinely down, 
 In youth a coxcomb, and in ape a clown. 
 
 SUCH 
 
234 T HE SPECTATOR. NO532. 
 
 SUCH readers fcorn'd, thou wing'/} thy daring flight 
 Above the ftars, and tread' jl the fields of light ; 
 Fame, heav'n and hell, are thy exalted theme, 
 And vifions fitch as Jove him] elf 'might dream ; 
 Man funk to flav'ry, tho' to glory born, 
 Heav'n' s pride when upright, and depraved his f corn. 
 
 SUCH hints alone could Britijh Virgil lend, 
 And thou alone deferve from fitch a friend; 
 A debt fo borrowed, is illuftrious fliame, 
 And fame when fhar'd with him is double fame. 
 So flu/h , d with Jweets, by beauty's queen befiow'd, 
 With more than mortal charms JEneas glow'd. 
 Such gen'rous ftrifes Eugene and Marlbro' try, 
 And as in glory fo in friend/hip vie. 
 
 PERMIT thefe lines by thee to live nor blanu 
 
 A mufe that pants and langui flies for fame ; 
 That fears to fink when humbler themes flie fings , 
 Lo/I in the mafs of mean forgotten things . 
 Received by thee, I prophefy, my rhimes 
 The praife of virgins infucceeding times : 
 Mix'd with thy works, their life no bounds fiiall fee, 
 But ftand proiecled, as infpir'd, by thee. 
 
 SO fome weak jlioot, which elfe would poorly rife y 
 Jove's tree adopts, and lifts him to the fkiss ; 
 Thro' the new pupil fojl' ring juices flow, 
 Thruft forth the gems, and give the flow' rs to blow 
 Ahft ; immortal reigns the plant unknown, 
 With borrow' d life, and vigour not his own. 
 
 To the Spectator-General. 
 
 Mr. John Sly humbly JJpeweth, 
 t r I V HAT upon reading the deputation given tc * 
 ' x the faid Mr. John Sly, all perfons pafling by h lS 
 i Obfervatory behaved themfelves with the fame deco" 
 ' rum, as if your honour yourfelf had been prefent. 
 
 * THAT your faid officer is preparing, according to 
 * your honour's fecret inftrucl:ions ; hats for the feveral 
 
 < kind 
 
K° 533- THE SPECTATOR. 23.5 
 
 ' kind of heads that make figures in the realms of 
 4 G reat-Britain, with cocks fignificant of their powers 
 * and faculties. 
 
 4 THAT your faid officer has taken- due notice of 
 1 your inftrucf ions and admonitions concerning the in- 
 4 ternals of the head from the outward form of the fame. 
 4 His hats for men of the faculties of law and phyfic 
 4 do but j uft turn up, to give a little life to their fagaci- 
 4 ty : his military hats glare full in the face; and he 
 4 has prepared a familiar eafy cock for all good com- 
 ' panions between the above-mentioned extremes. For 
 4 this end he has confulted the mod learned of his ac- 
 4 quaintance for the true form and dimenfions of the 
 4 Lepidum Caput, and made a hat fit for it. 
 
 4 YOUR faid officer does further reprefent, That 
 4 the young divines about town are many of them got 
 4 into the cock military, and defires your inftructions 
 4 therein. 
 
 4 THAT the town has been for feveral days very 
 4 well behaved* and farther your faid officer faith not, 
 
 T 
 
 N° 533. Tuefday, November u 
 
 Irnmo duas dabo, inquit ille, una ft parum eft : 
 Et fi duarum poenitebitj addentur duae. t Plaut. 
 Nay, fays he-> if one is too little, 1 will give you two ; 
 and if two will not fat is fy you, I will add two more. 
 
 TO THE SPECTATOR. 
 SIR, 
 
 YOU have often given us very excellent difcourfes 
 againft that unnatural cuftom of parents, in forc- 
 ing their children to marry contrary to their in- 
 clinations. My own cafe, without farther preface, I 
 will lay before you, and leave you to judge of it. My 
 father and mother both being in declining years, would 
 fain fee me, their eldeft fon, as they call it,, fettled. I 
 am as much for that as they can be ; but I muft be fet- 
 tkdj it feems, not according to my own, but their lik- 
 
 4 ing. 
 
236 THE SPECTATOR. NO533. 
 
 ing. Upon this account I am teized every day, becaufe 
 I have not yet fallen in love? infpite of nature, with 
 one of a neighbouringgentleman's daughters; for out 
 of their abundant generofity,they give me the choice of 
 four. Jack, begins my father, Mrs. Catharine is a fine 
 
 woman — , Yes, Sir, but (he is rather too old She 
 
 will make the more difcreet manager, boy. Then my 
 mother plays her part. Is not Mrs. Betty exceed- 
 ing fair ? Yes, madam, but fhe is of no converfation ; 
 (he has no fire,no agreeable vivaci ty ; me neither {peak s 
 nor looks with fpirit. True, fon; but for thofe 
 very reafons, fhe will be an eafy, foft, obliging, trace- 
 able creature. Afterall,criesanold aunt, (who belongs 
 to the clafs of thofe who read plays with fpectacles on) 
 what think 3^011, nephew, of proper Mrs. Dorothy ? 
 What do I think ? why, I think ihe cannot be above 
 fix foot two inches high. Well, well, you may banter 
 as long asyou pleafe,but heightof ftature iscommand- 
 ing and majeftic. Come, come, fays acoulin of mine 
 in the fanjily, I will fit him ; Fidelia is yet behind — ■ 
 
 Pretty MiFsFiddy mufi pleafe you Oh ! your very 
 
 humble fervant, dear coz, fhe is us much too young as 
 her eldeft fifter is too old. Is it fo indeed, quoth fhe, 
 good Mr. Pert? You whoarebutbarely turned of twen- 
 ty two, and Mifs Fiddy in half a year's time will be in 
 her teens, and fhe is capable of learning any thing. 
 Then fhe will be fo obfervant ; fhe will cry perhaps 
 now and then, but never be angry. Thus they will 
 think for me in this matter, wherein I am more parti- 
 cularly concerned than any bodyelfe. If I name any 
 woman in the world, one of thefe daughters has cer- 
 tainly the fame qualities. You fee by thefe few hints, 
 Mr. Spectator, what a comfortable life I lead. To 
 be flill more open and free with you, I have been paf- 
 fionately fond of a young lady (whom give me leave 
 to call Miranda) now for thefe three years. I have of- 
 ten urged the matter home to my parents with all the 
 fubmiffion of a fon, but the impatience of a lover. 
 Pray, Sir, think of three years ; what inexpreffible 
 fcenes of inquietude, what variety of mifery mud I 
 have gone thro' in three long whole years ? Miranda's 
 fortune is equal to thofe I have mentioned ; but her 
 
 re- 
 
NO 53?- THE SPECTATOR, 237 
 
 < relations are not intimates with mine. Ah! there is 
 'I ' the rub. Miranda's perfon, wit, and humour, are what 
 l r \ ' the niceft fancy could imagine; and though we know 
 1 you to be fo elegant a judge of beauty, yet there is 
 *■■ none among all your various characters of fine wo- 
 \ men preferable to Miranda. In a word, (he is never 
 ' guilty of doing any thing but one amifs, (if (he can 
 « be thought to do amifs by me) in being as blind to my 
 * faults, as flie is to her own perfections. 
 
 I am> SIR, 
 
 Tour very humble obedient fervant, 
 
 Duflererafhis. 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 WHEN you fpent fo much time as you did lately 
 in cenfuring the ambitious young gentlemen 
 who ride in triumph through town and country in 
 coach-boxes, I wilhed you had employed thofe mo- 
 ments in confederation of what pafles fometimes with- 
 in-fide of thofe vehicles. I am lure I furFered fuffici- 
 ently by the in folence and ill-breeding of fome perfons 
 who travelled lately with me in a ftage-coach out of 
 Eifex to London. I am fure, when you have heard 
 what I have to fay, you will think there are perfons 
 under the character of gentlemen that are fit to be no 
 where elfe but in the coach-box. Sir, I am a young 
 woman of afober and religious education, and have 
 preferved that character ; but on Monday was fortnight 
 it was my misfortune to come to London. I was no 
 fooner clapt in the coach, but to my great furprife, two 
 perfons in the habit of gentlemen attacked me with 
 fuch indecent difeourfe as I cannot repeat to you, fo 
 you may conclude not fit for me to hear. I had no re- 
 lief but the hopes of a fpeedy end of my fhort journey. 
 Sir, form toyourfelfwhat a perfecution this rauft needs 
 be to a virtuous and a chafte mind; and in order to your 
 proper handling fuch a fubject, fancy your wife or 
 daughter, if you had any, in fuch circumstances, and 
 what treatment you would think then due to fuch dra- 
 goons. One of them was called a captain, and enter- 
 tained us with nothing but filly ftupid queftions, or 
 lewd fongs, all the way. Ready to bum with fhame 
 
 f and 
 
238 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. N c 53; 
 
 and indignation, I repined that nature had not allow- 
 ed us as eafily to {hut our ears as our eyes. But was not 
 this a kind of rape ? Why fhould there be accefTaries 
 in ravifhment any more than murder ? Why mould 
 not every contributor to the abufe of chaftity fuffer 
 death? I am furethefe fhamelefs hell-hounds deferv- 
 ed it highly ? Can you exert yourfelf better than on 
 fuch an occafion ? If you do not do it efFe&ually, I 
 will read no more of your papers . Has every imperti- 
 nent fellow a privilege to torment me, who pay my 
 coach- hire as well as he ? Sir r pray confider us in this 
 refpecl-as the weakeft lex, and have nothing to defend 
 ourfelves ; and fthink it is as gentleman-like to chal- 
 lenge a woman to fight, as to talk obfcenely in her 
 company, efpecially when fhe has not power to ftir. 
 Pray let me tell you a ftory which you can make fit 
 for public view. I knew a gentleman, who having a 
 very good opinion of the gentlemen of the army? in- 
 vited ten or twelve of them to fup with him ; and at 
 the lame time invited two or three friends, who were 
 very fevere againft the manners and morals of gentle- 
 men ofthatprofefIion.lt happened one of them brought 
 two captains of his regiment newly come into the ar- 
 my, who at firft onfet engaged the company with ve- 
 ry lewd healths and fuitabledifcourfe. You may eafily 
 imagine the confufion of the entertainer, who finding 
 fome of his friends very uneafy, defired to tell them a 
 ftory of a great man, one Mr. Locke (whom I find 
 you frequently mention) that being invited to dine 
 with the then lords Halifax, Anglefey, and Shafts- 
 bury ; immediately after dinner, inftead of converfa- 
 tion, the cards were called for, where the bad or 
 good fuccefs produced the ufual paffions of gaming. 
 Mr. Locke retiring to a window, and writing, my 
 lord Anglefey defired to know what he was writing: 
 Why, My lords, anfwered he, I could 'tiot Jleep I aft night 
 for the pleafure and improvement I expelled from the 
 converfation of 'the great eft men of the age. This io 
 fenfibly flung them that they gladly compounded to 
 throw their cards in the fire if he would his paper, 
 and fo aconverfationenfuedfit for fuch perfons. This 
 ftory preft fo hard upon the young captains, together 
 
 ' with 
 
No 534- THE SPECTATOR. 239 
 
 1 with the concurrence of their fuperior officer?, that 
 « the young fellows left the company in confufion. 
 ' Sir, I know you hate long things ; but if you like 
 1 it, you may contract it, or how you will ; but I think 
 
 * it has a moral in it. 
 
 'BUT, Sir, I am told you are a famous mecha- 
 ' nic as well as a looker-on, and therefore humbly 
 
 * propofe you would invent fome padloc, with full 
 ? power under your hand and leal, for all modeft per- 
 1 fons either men or women, to clap upon the mouths 
 
 < of all fuch impertinent impudent fellows : and I with 
 
 < you would publifli a proclamation, that no modeit 
 f perfon that has a value for her countenance, and con- 
 ' fequently would not be put out of it, prefume to tra- 
 ' vel after fuch a day without one of them in their 
 ( pockets. I fancy a fmart Spectator upon this fubject 
 f would ferve for fuch a padloc; and that public no- 
 il tice may be given in your paper where they may be 
 
 * had with directions, price 2d, and that part of the 
 i directions may be, when any perfon prefumes to be 
 ' guilty of the above-mentioned crime, the party ag- 
 ' grieved may produce it to his free, with a requefl to 
 ' read it'To the company. He muft be very much hard- 
 <ened that could outface that rebuke; and his further 
 ( punifhment I leave you to prefcribe. 
 
 Your humble fervant, 
 T Penance Cruel. 
 
 N° 534. Wednefday, November 12. 
 
 Ranis enim ferine fenfus communis in ilia 
 
 Fortuna Juv. Sat. 8. v. 73. 
 
 ■ We feldom find 
 
 Muchfenfe with an exalted fortune joined. Stepne v. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 ' T AM a young woman of nineteen, the only daugh- 
 1 JL ter of very wealthy parents ; and have my whole 
 * life been ufed with a tendernefs which did' me no 
 
 ' great 
 
240 THE SPECTATOR. K°534« 
 
 6 great fervice in my education. I have perhaps an un- 
 
 * common defire for knowlege of what is fuitable to 
 *■ my fex and quality ; but as far as I can remember, 
 ' the whole difpute about me has been, whether fuch a 
 ' thing was proper for the child to do, or not ? Or whe- 
 
 * ther fuch or fuch a food was the more wholfom for the . 
 
 * young lady to eat ? This was ill for my fhape, that 
 
 * for my complexion, and the other for my eyes. I am 
 
 * not extravagant when I tell you, I do not know that I 
 
 * have trod upon the very earth ever fincel was ten years 
 "' old: a coach or chair I am obliged to for all my 
 
 ' motions from one place to another ever fince I can re- 
 ' member. All who had to do to inftrudt me, have ever' 
 
 * been bringing ftoriesof the notable things I have faid, 
 6 and the womanly manner of my behaving myfelf up- 
 
 * on fuch and fuch an occafion. This has been my ftate> 
 
 * 'till I came towards years of womanhood ; and ever 
 
 * fince I grew towards the age of fifteen, I have been 
 
 * abufed after another manner. Now, forfooth, I am 
 
 * fo killing, no one can fafely fpeak to me. Our houfe 
 
 * is frequented by men of fenfe,and I love to afk quefti- 
 
 * ons when I fall into fuch converfation ; but I am 
 
 * cutftiortwithfomethingorother about my bright eyes. 
 ' There is, Sir, a language particular for talking to 
 
 * women in ; and none but thofe of the very firftgood- 
 ' breeding (who are very few, and who feldom come 
 ' into my way) can fpeak to us without regard to our 
 
 * fex. Among the generality of thofe they call gentle- 
 ' men, it is impoffible for me to fpeak upon any fub- 
 4 ject whatfoever, withoutprovoking fome-body to fay, 
 e Oh! to be Jure fine Mrs . Juch-a-one mufl be very par ti- 
 
 * cularly acquainted with all that; all the world will 
 1 contribute to her entertainment and information. Thus 
 
 * Sir, I am fo handfom, that I murder all who ap- 
 'proackme; fo wife, that I want no new notice; and 
 6 fo well bred, that I am treated by all that know me 
 
 * Ifke a fool, for no one will anfwer as if I were 
 
 * their friend or companion. Pray, Sir, be pleafed to 
 ' take the part of us beauties and fortunes into your 
 ' conuderation, and do not let us be thus flattered out 
 
 * of our fenfes. I have got an huffy of a maid, who 
 
 * is molt craftily given to this ill quality. I was at flrft 
 
 ( diverted 
 
N° 534- 
 
 TH E SPECTATOR. 
 
 S4* 
 
 diverted with a certain abfurdity the creature was 
 guilty of in every thing fhe faid : She is a country 
 girl, and in the dialect of the (hire (lie was born in, 
 would tell me that every body reckoned her lady had 
 the pureft red and white in the world : then fhe 
 would teli me, I w r as the moft like one Sifly Dobfon 
 in their town, who made the miller make away with 
 "himfelf, and walk afterwards in the corn-field where 
 they ufed to meet. With all this, this cunning huf- 
 fy can lay letters in my way, and put a billet in my 
 gloves, and then ftand in it fhe knows nothing of it, 
 I do not know, from my birth to this day, that I 
 have been ever treated by any one as I ought; and 
 if it were not for a few books which I delight in, I 
 fhould be at this hour a novice to all common fenfe. 
 Would it not be worth your while to lay down rules 
 for behaviour in this cafe, and tell people, that we 
 fair-ones expect honeft plain anfwers as well as other 
 people ? Why muft I, good Sir, becaufe I have a 
 good air, a fine complexion, and am in the bloom 
 of my years, be mifled in all my acYions ; and have 
 the notions of good and ill confounded in my mind, 
 for no other offence, but becaufe I have the advan- 
 tages of beauty and fortune ? Indeed, Sir, what with 
 the filly homage which is paid to us by the fort of 
 people I have above fpoken of, and the utter negli- 
 gence which others have for us, the converfation of 
 us young women of condition is no other than what 
 muft expofe us to ignorance and vanity, if not vice. 
 All this is humbly fubmitted to your fpeclatorial wif- 
 dom, by, 
 
 s i r; 
 
 Tour humbls fervant, 
 
 y 
 
 Sharlot Wealthy, 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 Will's Coffse-houfe, 
 
 * T^RAY, Sir, it will ferve to fill up a paper, if you 
 
 * _L put in this; which is only to afk, whether that 
 i copy of verfes, which is a paraphrafe of Ifaiah, in 
 i one of your fpeculations,is not written by Mr. Pope? 
 
 VOL. VII. L 'Then 
 
THE SPECTATOR. NO534. 
 
 I 
 
 ' Then you get on another line, by putting in, with 
 
 * proper diftances, as at the end of a letter, 
 
 I am, SIR, 
 
 Tour humble fervantj 
 
 Abraham Dapperwit* 
 Mr. Dapperwit, 
 
 * T AM glad to get another line forward, by faying 
 ' •*■ that excellent piece is Mr. Pope's; and fo with 
 ' proper diftances, 
 
 1 am, S 1 R y 
 
 Tour humble fervanty 
 
 The Spectator. 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 WAS a wealthy grocer in the city, and as fortu- 
 nate as diligent; but I was a fingle man, and you 
 know there are women. One in particular came to 
 my (hop, who I wifhed might, but was afraid never 
 would, make a grocer's wife. I thought, however, 
 to take an effectual way of courting, and fold her 
 at lei's price than I bought, that I might buy at lefs 
 price than I fold. She, you may be Aire, often came, 
 and helped me to many cuftomers at the fame rate, 
 fancying I was obliged to her. You rnuft needs think, 
 this was a good living trade, and my riches muft be 
 vaftly improved. In fine, I was nigh being declared 
 bankrupt, when I declared myfelf her lover, and fhe 
 herfelf married. I was juft in a condition to fupport 
 myfelf, and am now in hopes of growing rich by lof- 
 ing my cuftomers. 
 
 Toursy 
 
 Jeremy Comfit. 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 I AM in the condition of the idol you was once 
 pleafed to mention, and bar-keeper of a coffee- 
 houfe. I believe it is needlefs to tell you the oppor- 
 tunities I muft give, and the importunities I fuffer. 
 But there is one gentleman who befieges me as clofe 
 as the French did Bouchain. His gravity makes him 
 
 * work 
 
N°534- THE SPECTATOR. 243 
 
 * work cautious, and his regular approaches denote a 
 
 * good engineer. You need not doubt of his orator) 1- , 
 ' as he is a lawyer; and efpecially fince he has had to 
 1 little ufe of it at Weftminfter, he may fpare the more 
 4 -for me. 
 
 ' WHAT then can weak woman do? I am wil- 
 
 * ling to farrender, but he would have it at difcretion, 
 ' and I with difcretion. In the mean time, whilft we 
 
 * parly, our feveral interefts are neglected. As his fiege 
 ' grows ftrongerj my tea grows weaker; and while he 
 1 pleads at my bar, none come to him for counfel but 
 
 * in forma pauperis. Dear Mr, Spectator, advife 
 
 * him not to infift upon hard articles, nor by his irre- 
 
 * gular dcfires contradict the well-meaning lines of his 
 
 * countenance. If we were agreed-, we might fettle to 
 ■* fomething, as foon as we could determine where we 
 ' mould get moft by the law, at the coffee-houfe, or at 
 *■ Weftminfter. 
 
 Tour humble few ant, 
 
 Lucinda Parly. 
 
 A minute from Mr. John Sly. 
 
 * ^"T^HE world is pretty regular for about forty rod 
 ' JL e aft, and ten weft of the obfervatory of the faid 
 ' Mr. Sly ; but he is credibly informed, that when they 
 ' are got beyond the pafs into the Strand, or thofe 
 ' who move city-ward are got within Temple-bar, they 
 
 * are juft as they were before. It is therefore humbly 
 ' propofed, that moving cen tries may be appointed 
 4 all the bufy hours of the day between the Exchange 
 ** and Weftminfter, and report what paries to your ho- 
 r nour, or yourfubordinate officers, from time to time. 
 
 Ordered, 
 
 THAT Mr. Sly name the faid officers, provided He 
 -w.il! anfv/er for their principles and morals. 
 
 L 2 T/jurfdajf 
 
N°535- ^bur/day, November 13, 
 
 Spem longam refcces- 
 Cut Jbort vain hopes. 
 
 Hor. Od. 
 
 11. 1. 1. 
 
 v. 7. 
 
 Y four hundred and feventy firft fpeculation 
 turned upon the fubjecT: of hope in general. I 
 deilgn this paper as a fpeculation upon that 
 vain and foolifh hope, which is mifemployed on tem- 
 poral objects, and produces many forrows and calami- 
 ties in human life. 
 
 IT is a precept federal times inculcated by Horace, 
 that we mould not entertain an hope of any thing in 
 life which lies at a great diftance from us. The fhort- 
 nefs and uncertainty of our time here makes fuch a 
 kind of hope unreasonable and abfurd. The grave lies 
 unleen between us and the object which we reach af- 
 ter, where one man lives to enjoy the good he has in 
 view, ten thoufand are cut off in the purfuit of it. 
 
 IT happens likewife unluckily, that one hope no 
 fooner dies in us, but another rifes up in its ftead. We 
 are apt to fancy that we fhall be happy and fatisfied if 
 we poirefs ourfelves of fuch and fuch particular enjoy- 
 ments ; but either by reafon of their emptinefs, or the 
 natural inquietude of the mind, we have no fooner 
 gained one point but we extend our hopes to another. 
 We Mill find new inviting fcenes and landfkips lying 
 behind thofe which at a diftance terminated our view. 
 THE natural confequences of fuch reflexions are 
 thefe; that we mould take care not to let our hopes 
 runout into too great a length; that we fhould fuffici- 
 ently weigh the objects of our hope, whether they be 
 fuch as we may reafonably expect from them what they 
 propofe in their fruition, and whether they are fuch 
 as we are pretty fure of attaining, in cafe our life ex* 
 tend itfelf fo far. If we hope for things which are at 
 
 too 
 
NO 5 35- THE SPECTATOR. 245 
 
 too great a diftance from us, it is poffible that we may 
 be intercepted by death in our progrefs towards them. 
 If we hope for things of which we have not thoroughly 
 confidered the value, our difappointment will be great- 
 er than our pleafure in the fruition of them. If we 
 hope for what we are not likely to poffefs, we act and 
 think in vain, and make life a greater dream and fha- 
 dow than it really is. 
 
 MANY of the miferies and misfortunes of life pro- 
 ceed from our want of confideration, in one or all of 
 fliefe particulars. They are the rocks on which the 
 ianguine tribe of lovers daily fplit, and on which the 
 bankrupt, the politician, the alchymift and projector 
 are caft away in every age. Men of warm imaginati- 
 ons and towring thoughts are apt to overlook the 
 goods of fortune which are near them, for fomething 
 that glitters in the fight at a diftance; to neglect (olid 
 and fubftantial happinefs, for what is fhowy and fu- 
 perficial; and to contemn that good that lies within 
 their reach, for that which they are not capable of at- 
 taining. Hope calculates its fchemes for a long and dur- 
 able life ; prefTes forward to imaginary points of blifs ; 
 and grafps at impollibilities ; and confequently very 
 often infnares men into beggary, ruin, and difhonour. 
 WHAT I have here laid, may ferve as a moral to 
 an Arabian fable, which I find tranflated into French 
 by monfieur Galland. The fable has in it fuch a 
 wild, but natural Simplicity, that I qneftion r.ot but 
 my reader will be as much pleafed with it as I h:tve 
 been, and that he will confider himfelf, if he reflects 
 on the feveral amufements of hope which have fome- - 
 times palled in his mind, as a near relation £0 the 
 Perfian glafs-man. 
 
 ALNASCHAR, fays the fable, was a very idle 
 fellow, that never would fet his hand to any bufinefs 
 during his father's life. When his father died, he 
 left him to the value of an hundred drachmas in Per- 
 fian money. Alnafchar, in order to make the beft of 
 it, laid it out in glades, bottles, and the fined earth- 
 en-ware. Thefe he piled up in a large open bafket, and 
 having made choice of a very little fhop, placed the 
 bafket at his feet, and leaned his back upon the Wall, 
 h 3 in 
 
2A6 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. NOjjj 
 
 in expectation of cufiorners. As he fat in this po> 
 iture with his eyes upon the baiket, he fell into a mod 
 amufing train of thought, and was overheard by one 
 of his neighbours, as he talked to himfelf in the fol- 
 lowing manner : This ba/ket, fays he, coft me at the 
 whole/ale merchant's an hundred drachmas, which is all 
 I have in the world. I /hall quickly make Ivjo hundred 
 of it, by felling it in retail. Thefe two hundred drach- 
 mas will in a very little while rife to four hundred,, 
 which of courfe will amount in time to four thoufand. 
 Four thoufand drachmas cannot fail of making eight 
 thoufand. As foon as by this means 1 am majler of ten 
 thoufand, I will lay a fide my trade of a glafs-man y 
 and turn jeweller* I /hall then deal in diamonds, 
 pearls, and all forts of rich ftouer. When I have got 
 together as much wealth as J can well dejire, I will 
 make a purchafe of the fin eft houfe I can find, with 
 lands , fiave*, eunuchs and horfes. I /hall then begin 
 to enjoy myfelf, and make a noife in the w-orld. I will 
 not, however, ftop there, but ftill continue my traffic, 
 till I have got together an hundred thoufand drachmas. 
 When 1 have thus made myfelf majler of an hundred 
 thoufand drachmas y I /hall naturally fet myfelf on the 
 foot of a prince, and will demand the grand vifier's 
 daughter in marriage, after having represented to that 
 7ninifter the information which I have received of the 
 beauty, wit, difcretion, and other high qualities which 
 his daughter po/fej/es. I will let him know at the fame 
 time, that it is my intention to make him a prefent of 
 a thoufand pieces of gold on our marriage night. As 
 foon as I have married the grand vifier's daughter, 
 I will buy her ten black eunuchs, the youngeft and beft 
 that can be got for -money. I muft afterwards make my 
 father-in-law a vifii with a great train of equipage. 
 And when I am placed at his right-hand, which he will 
 do of courfe, if it be only to honour his daughter, J will 
 give him the thoufand pieces of gold which I promifed 
 him, and afterwards to his great fur prife, will prefent 
 him another purfe of the fame value, with fome Jhort 
 fpeech : as, Sir, you fee I am a man of my word : I 
 always give more than I promife. 
 
 WHEN 
 
NO 536. THE SPECTATOR. 247 
 
 WHEN I have brought the prince fs to my houfe, I 
 /hall take particular care to breed her in a due refpeSt 
 to me, before I give the reins to love and dalliance. 
 To this end I jball confine her to her own apartment, 
 make her afhortvifit, and tali but little to her. Her 
 ■women will reprefent to me, that jhe is inconfolable by 
 reafon of my unkindnefs, and beg me with tears to carefs 
 her, and let her Jit down by me ; but I jball fit 1 1 remain 
 inexorable, and will turn my back upon her all the fir/} 
 night. Her mother will then come and bring her 
 daughter to me, as 1 am feated- upon my fofa. The 
 daughter, with tears in her eyes, will fling her f elf at 
 m/feet, and beg of me to receive her into my favour : 
 Then will I, to imprint in her & thorough veneration 
 for my perfon, draw up my legs and f pur n her from me 
 with my foot, in fuch a manner that Jhe /ball fall down, 
 fever al paces from the fofa. 
 
 A L NASC H A R was intirely fwallowed up in this, 
 chimerical vilion, and could not forbear acting with his 
 toot what he had in his thoughts.: fo that unluckily 
 finking his bafket of brittle ware,.which was the foun- 
 dation of all his grandeur, he kicked hb glades to a 
 great diftance from him into the ftreet, and broke them 
 into ten thoufand pieces. O 
 
 N°536. Friday ', November 14. 
 
 01 verae Phrygiae, veque enim Phryges ! 
 
 Virg. :3Sn. 9, v. 617. 
 
 Of lefs than women, in the fb apes of men! 
 
 Dryden. 
 
 S I was the other day (landing in my bookfellcr's. 
 
 mop, a pretty young thing about eighteen years 
 
 of age, ftept out of her coach, and brufhing by 
 
 me, beckoned the man of the mop to the further end of 
 
 his counter, where fhe whifpered fomething to him 
 
 With an attentive look? and at th,e fame time prefented 
 
 L 4 him 
 
248 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 NO 536. 
 
 him with a letter : After which, preffingthe end of her 
 fan upon his hand, fne delivered the remaining part of 
 her merTage, and withdrew. I obferved, in the midft 
 of her difcourle, that (he flufhed, and caft an eye up- 
 on me over her moulder, having been informed by my 
 bookfeller, that I was the man of the fhortface whom 
 fhe had fo often read of. Upon her pading by me, the 
 pretty blooming creature fmiled in my face, and drop- 
 ped me a curtfy. She fcarce gave me time to return 
 her falute, before (he quitted the mop with an eafy fkut- 
 tle, and ftepped again into her coach, giving the foot- 
 man directions to drive where they were bid. Upon 
 her departure) my bookfeller gave me a letter fuper- 
 fcribed, To the ingenious fpeffator, which the young 
 lady had deflred him to deliver into my own hands, 
 and to tell me that the f'peedy publication of it would 
 not only oblige herfelf, but a whole tea-table of 
 my friends. I opened it therefore, with a refolution 
 to publifh it, whatever it mould contain, and am fure, 
 if any of my male-readers will be fo feverely criti- 
 cal as not to like it, they would" have been as well 
 pleafed with it as myfelf, had they feen the face of the 
 pretty fcribe. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, London, Nov. 1712. 
 
 * "\7"OU are always ready to receive any ufeful hint 
 ' JL or propofal, and fuch, I believe, you will think 
 
 * one that may put you in a way to employ the mod 
 
 * idle part of the kingdom ; I mean that part of man- 
 ' kind who are known by the name of the womens- 
 
 * men or beaus, etc, Mr. Spectator, you are fen- 
 
 * fible thefe pretty gentlemen are not made for any 
 ' manly employments, and for want of bufinefs are 
 
 * often as much in the vapours as the ladies. Now 
 
 * what I propofe is this, that flnce knotting is again 
 
 * in fafhion, which has been found a very pretty amufe- 
 
 * ment, that you would recommend it to thefe gen- 
 
 * tlemen as fomething that may make them ufeful to 
 
 * the ladies they admire. And fince it is not incon- 
 
 * fiftent with any game, or other diverfion, for it may 
 ' be done in the play-houfe, in their coaches, at the tea- 
 
 * table, and in fhort ; in all places where they come for 
 
 ' the 
 
No 536. THE SPECTATOR. 249 
 
 the fake of the ladies (except at church, be pleafed to 
 forbid it there to prevent miftakes) it will be eafily 
 complied with. It is belides an employment that al- 
 lows, as we fee by the fair fex, of many graces, which 
 will make the beaus more readily come into it; it 
 mews a white hand and diamond ring to great advan- 
 tage ; it leaves the eyes at full liberty to be employed 
 as before, as alfo the thoughts, and the tongue. In 
 lhort, it feems in every relpect fo proper, that it is 
 needlefs to urge it farther, by fpeaking of the fatisfa- 
 ction thefe male-knotters will find, when they fee 
 their work mixed up in a fringe, and worn by the 
 fair lady for whom and with whom it was done. 
 Truly, Mr. Spectator, I cannot but be pleafed I 
 have hit upon fomething that thefe gentlemen are 
 capable of; for it is fad fo considerable a part of the 
 kingdom (I mean for numbers) mould be of no man- 
 ner of ufe. I mail not trouble you farther at this 
 time, but only to fay, that I am always your reader, 
 and generally your admirer. C. B. 
 
 P. S. e THE fooner thefe fine gentlemen are fet to 
 1 work, the better; there being at this time'feveral fine 
 i fringes that only itay for more hands. 
 
 I SHALL, in the next place, prefent my reader 
 with the defcription of a fet of men who are common 
 enough in the world, though I do not remember that 
 I have yet taken notice of them, as they are drawn in 
 the following letter. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 SINCE you have lately, to fo good purpofe, en- 
 larged upon conjugal love, it is to be hoped you 
 will difcourage every practice that rather proceeds 
 from a regard to intereft, than tohappinefs. Now you 
 cannot but obferve, that moft of our fine young la- 
 dies readily fall in with the direction of the. graver 
 fort, to retain in their fervice, by fome fmall encou- 
 ragement, as great a number as they can of fupernu- 
 merary and inligniflcant fellows, which they ufe like 
 v.hifflers.and commonly callShoeing-Horns, Thefe are 
 L 5 ' never 
 
2;o THE SPECTATO R. N° 536, 
 
 * never defigned to know the length of the foot, but 
 ' only, when a good offer comes, to whet and fpur him 
 
 * up to the point. Nay, it is the opinion of that grave 
 ' lady, Madam Matchwell, that it is abfolutely conve- 
 ' nient for every prudent family to have feveral of thefc 
 ' implements about the houfe, to clap on as occafion 
 
 * ferves, and that every fpark ought to produce a cer- 
 
 * tiflcate of his being a ihoeing-horn, before he be ad- 
 *■ mitted as a fhoe. A certain lady, whom I could 
 
 * name, if it was neceffary, has at prefent more fhoe- 
 
 * ing horns of all fizes, countries and' colours, in her 
 
 * fervice, than ever fhe had new fhoes in her life. I 
 
 * have known a woman make ufe of a fhoeing-horn 
 
 * for feveral years, and finding him unfuccefsful in that 
 
 * function, convert him at length into a fhoe. I am 
 
 * miftaken if your friend. Mr. William Honey- 
 ' comb was not a call fhoeing-horn before his late 
 ' marriage. As-for myfelf, I nnift frankly declare to 
 
 * you, that I have been an errant fhoeing-horn for 
 
 * above thefe twenty years. I ferved my firft miftrefs 
 
 * in that capacity above five of the number, before fhe* 
 < was fliod. I confefs, though fhe had many who 
 
 * made their applications to her, I always thought 
 4 myfelf the belt fhoe in her mop,- and it was not 
 
 * till a month before her marriage that I difcover- 
 ' ed what I was.. This had like to have broke my 
 
 * heart, and raifed fuch fuipicions in me> that I told 
 
 * the next I made love to, upon receiving fome unkind 
 ' nfage from her, that I began to look upon myfelf 
 4 as no more than her fhoeing-horn. Upon which, 
 ' my 4ear, who was a coquette in her nature, told me 
 
 * I was hypochondriacal, and that I might as well 
 
 * look upon myfelf to be an egg or a pipkin. But in a 
 f very fhort time after fhe gave me to know that I was 
 *• not miftaken in myfelf. It would be tedious to re- 
 
 * count to you the life of an unfortunate fhoeing-horn,. 
 ' or I might entertain you with a very long and me- 
 
 * lancholy relation of my fufferings. Upon the whole,, 
 
 * I think, Sir, it would very well become a man ii* 
 *• your poft, to determine in what cafes a woman may 
 *- be allowed, with honour, to make ufe of a fhoeing- 
 *■ horn, as alfo to declare whether, a maid on this 
 
 '•fide 
 
TJ© 537. THE SPECTATOR. 2;i 
 
 .* fide five and twenty, or a widow who has not been 
 
 * three years in that Hate,, may be granted fuch a pri- 
 
 * vilege, with other difficulties which will naturally 
 ' occur to you upon that {'abject, 
 
 I am, SIR, 
 O With the moft profound veneration. Yours,, etc, 
 
 N° 537, Saturday, November 15. 
 
 T« {aw yety yiv©* \v\m A rat.. 
 
 Far we are his offspring.. Acts xvii. 28* 
 
 TO THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 S I if, 
 
 FT has been ufual to remind perfons of rank, on 
 great occafions in lire, of their race and quality, 
 -ft- and to what expectations they were born ; that 
 by coniidering what is worthy of them, they may be 
 withdrawn from mean purfuits,. and encouraged to 
 laudable undertakings-. This is turning nobility in- 
 to a principle of virtue, and making it productive of 
 merit, as it is underftood to have been originally a 
 reward of it. 
 
 c It is for the like reafon, I imagine, that you have in 
 fome of your fpeculations aflerted to your readers the 
 dignity of human nature. But you cannot.be infenlible 
 that this is a controverted doctrine ; there are authors 
 who confrder human nature in a very different view, 
 and books of maxims have been written to fhew the 
 faljity of all human virtues. The reflexions which are 
 made on this fubject ufually take fome tincture from' 
 the tempers and characters of thofe that make them. 
 Politicians can refolvethe moftihining actions among 
 men into artifice and defign ; others, who are foured' 
 by difcontent, repulfes, or ill ufage^are apt to miftake* 
 
 fc fcrieia- 
 
!52 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. N° 537. 
 
 their fpleen for philofophy; men of profligate lives, 
 and fiicn as findthemfelves incapable of riling to any 
 dillinclion among their fellow-creatures, are for pul- 
 ling down all appearances of merit, which feem to 
 upbraid them: and fatirifis defcribe nothing but de- 
 formity. From all thefe hands we have fuch draughts 
 of mankind as are reprefented in thofe burlefque pi- 
 ctures, which the Italians call Caricaturas; where 
 the art confiils in preferving, amidft dillorted pro- 
 portions, and aggravated features, fome difiinguifh- 
 ing likenefs of the perfon, but in fuch a manner as to 
 transform the moil agreeable beauty into the molt o- 
 dious monfter. 
 
 f IT is very difingenuous to level the befl of man- 
 kind with the worft, and for the faults of particulars 
 to degrade the whole fpecies. Such methods tend not 
 only to remove a man's good opinion of others, but 
 to deftroy that reverence for himfelf, which is a great 
 guard of innocence, and a fpring of virtue. 
 ' IT is true indeed that there are furprifing mixtures 
 of beauty and deformity, of wifdom and foil}', vir- 
 tue and vice, in the human make; fuch a difparity 
 is found among numbers of the fame kind, and evtry 
 individual, in fome inllances, or at fome times, is 
 fo unequal to himfelf, that Man feems to be the molt 
 wavering and incontinent being in the whole creati- 
 on. So that the queftion in morality, concerning the 
 dignity of our nature, may at firft fight appear like 
 fome difficult queftions in natural philofophy, in 
 which the arguments on both fides feem to be of e- 
 qual ftrength. But as I began with confidering this 
 point as it relates to action, I (hall here borrow an 
 admirable reflection from monfieur Pafchal, which I 
 think fets ft in its proper light. 
 ' IT is of dangerous confequence, fays he, to reprefent 
 /2 man how near he is to the level of beafts, without 
 Jkewing him at the fame time his Greatnefs. It is like' 
 wife dangerous to let him fee his Greatnefs ', -without 
 his Meannefs. It is more dangerous yet to leave him 
 ignorant of either ; hut very beneficial that he/houldbe 
 madefenjible of both. Whatever imperfections we may 
 have in oar nature, it is the bufinefs of religion and 
 
 i virtue 
 
NO 53 7. THE SPECTATOR, 253 
 
 ' virtue to rectify them, as far as is confident with our 
 
 * prefent date. In the mean time, it is no fmall en- 
 
 * couragement to generous minds to confider that we 
 
 * fhall put them all off with our mortality. Thatfub- 
 
 * lime manner of falutation with which the jews ap- 
 ' proach their kings, 
 
 f O King, live for ever! 
 
 * may be addrefled to the lowed and mod defpifed mor- 
 ' tal among us, under all the infirmities and didredes 
 ' with which we fee him furrounded. And whoever 
 
 * believes the immortality of the foul, will not need a 
 ' better argument for the dignity of his nature, nor a 
 
 * dronger incitement to actions fuitable to it. 
 
 ' I AM naturally led by this reflexion to a fubjeel I 
 v have already touched upon in a former letter, and 
 ' cannot without pleafure call to mind the thoughts 
 
 * of Cicero to this purpofe, in the clofe of his book 
 ' concerning Old Age. Every one who is acquainted 
 ' with bis writings, will remember that the elder Cato 
 ' is introduced in that difcourfe as the fpeaker, and 
 ' Scipio and Lelius as his auditors. This venerable 
 ' perfon is reprefented looking forward as it were from 
 
 * the verge of extreme old age into a future date, and 
 ' rifing into a contemplation on the unperiihable part 
 ' of his nature, and its exiden.ee after death. I (hall 
 ' collecl part of his difcourfe. And as you have for- 
 
 * merly offered fome arguments for the foul's immorta- 
 
 * lity, agreeable both to reafon and the chridian do- 
 ' clrine, I believe your read: rs will not be difpleafed 
 
 * to fee how the fame great truth fhines in the pomp 
 ' of the Roman eloquence. 
 
 " THIS, fays Cato, is my firm perfuafion, that 
 u fince the human foul exerts itfelf with fo great acti- 
 " vity, fince it has fueh a remembrance of the pad, 
 " fuch a concern for the future, fince it is enrich- 
 u ed with fo many arts, fciences and difcoveries, it 
 " is impoffible but the being which contains all thefe 
 u mud be immortal. 
 
 '* THE elder Cyrus, jud before his death, is repre- 
 " fentedbyXENOPHON fpeaking after this manner." 
 
 < Think 
 
2J4 THE SPECTATOR. M? $$?. 
 
 4 Think not, my r'carejl children, thatwhen I depart from 
 
 * you I [hall be no mure, but remember, that my foul, even 
 4 while I lived among you, was invifible toyhu; yet by 
 
 * my actions you were fenfible it exijled in this boay\ 
 
 * Believe it therefore exi/liig flill, though it be (till 
 
 * unfeen. How quickly would the honours ef illuftricvs 
 
 * men peri/h after death, if their fou's performed no- 
 
 * thing to preferve their fame ? For my own part, I 
 
 * never could think that the foul while in a mortal body,. 
 1 lives, but when departed out of it, dies ; or that 
 4 its confcioufnefs is hft when it is difcharged out of an 
 
 * uncorfcious habitation. But when it is freed from. 
 1 all corporeal alliance, then it truly exifls. Further, 
 6 fince the human frame is broken by death, tell us what 
 
 * becomes of its parts ? It is vijible whither the state- 
 
 * rials of other beings are tranflated, namely, to the 
 
 * fource from whence they had their birth. The foul 
 1 alone, neither prefent or departed, is the objecl of 
 
 * our eyes. 
 
 " THUS Cyrus. But to proceed. No one {halt 
 " perfuade me, Scipio, that your worthy father, or 
 t( youv grandfathers Paulus and Africanus, or Africa- 
 ** nus his father or uncle, or many other excellent 
 " men whom I need not name, performed fo many 
 u actions to be remembred by pofterity, without be- 
 *' ing fenfible that futurity was their right. And, if 
 " I may be allowed an old man's privilege, to fpeak 
 u of myfelf, do you think I would have endured the 
 " fatigue of fo many wearifom days and nights, both 
 il at home and abroad, if I imagined that the fame 
 u boundary which is fet to my life mult terminate my 
 " glory r Were it not more deiirable to hav.e worn 
 " out my days in eafe and tranquillity, free from la- 
 *' bour and without emulation ? But I know not how, 
 *< my foul has always raifed itfelf, and looked forward 
 *' on futurity, in this view and expectation, that when 
 " it fhall depart out of life, it mail then live for ever; 
 * l and if this were not true, that the mind is immortal, 
 u the fouls of the mod: worthy would not, above all 
 ** others, have the flrongeft impulfe to glory. 
 
 " WHAT befides this is the caufe that the wifefr, 
 u men die with the greateft equanimity, the ignorant 
 
 " with: 
 
NOj 37 . THE SPECTATOR. 255 
 
 " with the greateft concern ? Does it not feem that 
 " thofe minds which have the mod extenfive views r 
 " forefee they are removing to a happier condition, 
 " which thole of a narrower fight do not perceive? I r 
 " for my part, am tranfported with the hope offee- 
 " ing your anceflors, whom I have honoured and lov- 
 " ed, and am earneltly deilrous of meeting not only 
 " thofe excellent perfons whom I have known, but 
 " thofe too of whom I have heard and read, and of 
 " whom I myfelf have written ; nor would I be de- 
 f tained from fo pleafing a journey. O happy dajs^ 
 u when I (hall efcape from this croud, this heap of pol- 
 H lution, and be admitted to that divine allembly of 
 u exalted fpirits ! When I fhall go not only to thofe 
 " great perfons I have named, but to my Cato, my 
 " Ion, than whom a better man was never born, and 
 (i whofe funeral rices I my Teif performed, whereas he 
 u ought rather to have attended mine. Yet has not 
 " his foul deferted me, but feeming to caft back a look 
 l< on me, is gone before to thofe habitations to which 
 " it was fenfible I mould follow him. And though I 
 (i might appear to have born my lofs with courage, I 
 " was not unaffected with it, but I comforted myfelf 
 " in the aiTurance that it would not be long before wc 
 ** mould meet again, and be divorced no- more. 
 
 / am, SIR, etc, 
 
 I QUESTION net hut my reader will be very much 
 pleafed to hear that th? gentleman who has obliged the 
 world with the foregoing letter, and who was the author 
 of the 210th ^peculation on the immortality of the foul, the 
 375th on virtue in diflrefs, the ^l^ih on conjugal love, 
 and two or three other very fine ones among thofe which 
 are not lettered at the end, willfoon publijb a noble poem, 
 intitled, An ode to the creator of the worki, occafion^ 
 ed by the fragments of 'Orpheus. 
 
 Mondays 
 
256 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. NO 538. 
 
 N°538. Monday \ November 17. 
 
 -Ultra 
 
 Finem tender e opus. Hor, 
 
 To lanch beyond all bounds. 
 
 Sat. 1. 1. 2. v. i. 
 
 SURPRISE is fo much the life of (lories, that 
 every one aims at it, who endeavours to pleafe by 
 telling them. Smooth delivery, an elegant choice 
 of words, and a fweet arrangement, are all beautifying 
 graces, but not the particulars in this point of con- 
 verfation which either long command the attention, or 
 ftrike with the violence of a fudden paflion, or occa- 
 fion the burfl of laughter which accompanies humour. 
 I have fometimes fancied that the mind is in this cafe 
 like a traveller who fees a fine feat in hade ; he ac- 
 knowleges the delightfulnefs of a walk fet with regula- 
 rity, but would be uneafy if he were obliged to pafs 
 it over, when the firfl view had let him into all its 
 beauties from one end to the other. 
 
 HOWEVER, a knowlege of the fuccefs which 
 (lories will have when they are attended with a turn 
 of furprife, as it has happily made the characters of 
 fome, fo has it alfo been the ruin of the characters of 
 others. There is a fet of men who outrage truth, 
 inftead of affecting us with a manner in telling it : 
 who overleap the line of probability, that they may 
 be feen to move out of the common road; and endea- 
 vour only to make their hearers flare, by impofing up- 
 on them with a kind of nonfenfe againfl the philofopby 
 of nature, or fuch a heap of wonders told upon their 
 own knowlege, as it is not likely one man fhould ever 
 have met with. 
 
 I HAVE been led to this obfervation by a company 
 into which I fell accidentally. The fubject of Antipa- 
 thies was a proper field wherein fuch falfe furprifers 
 might expatiate, and there were thofe prefent who ap- 
 peared very fond to (hew it in its full extent of tradi- 
 tional 
 
N°53 8 - THE SPECTATOR. 257 
 
 tional hiftory. Some of them-, in a learned manner, of- 
 fered to our confideration the miraculous powers which 
 the effluviums of cheefe have over bodies whole pores 
 arediipofed to receive them in a noxious manner; o- 
 thers gave an account of fuch who could indeed bear 
 the light of cheefe, but not the talte j for which they 
 brought a reafon from the miik of their nurfes. Others 
 again difcourfed without endeavouring at reafons, con- 
 cerning an unconquerableaverlion which fomeftomachs 
 have againlt a joint of meat when it is whole, and the 
 eager inclination they have for it, when by its being 
 cut up, the lhape which had affected them is altered. 
 From hence they paiTed to eels, then to parfnips,- 
 and fo from one averfion to another, till we had 
 worked up ourfelves to fuch a pitch of complaifance, 
 that when the dinner was to come in, we inquired the 
 name of every dim, and hoped it would be no offence 
 to any company, before it was admitted. When 
 we had fat down, this civility among us turned the 
 difcourfe from eatables to other forts of averfions ; and 
 the eternal cat, which plagues every converfation of 
 this nature, began then to engrofs the fubject. One had 
 fweated at the light of it, another had fmelled it out 
 as it lay concealed in a very diftant cupboard; and he 
 who crowned the whole fet of thefe (lories, reckoned up 
 the number of times in which it had occasioned him 
 to fwoon away. At lafl, fays he, that you may all 
 be fatisfied of my invincible averlion to a cat, I (hall 
 give an unanfwerable inftance : As I was going 
 through a ftreet of London, where I never had been 
 till then, I felt a general damp and faintnefs all over 
 me, which I could not tell how to account for, till I 
 chanced to call my eyes upwards, and found that 1 was 
 palfing under a fign-poft on which the picture of a cat 
 was hung. 
 
 THE extravagance of this turn in the way of fur- 
 prife, gave a ftop to the talk we had been carrying on : 
 Some were filent becaufe they doubted, and others be- 
 caufe they were conquered in their own way ; fo that 
 the gentleman had opportunity to prefs the belief of 
 it upon us, and let us fee that he was rather expofing 
 himfelf than ridiculing others. 
 
 I 
 
258 THE SPECTATOR. NO538. 
 
 I MUST freely own that I did not all this while dis- 
 believe every thing that was faid ; but yet I thought 
 fome in the company had been endeavouring who 
 fhould pitch the bar fartheft; that it had for fome time 
 been a meafuring caft, and at laft my friend of the cat 
 and fign-poft had thrown beyond them all. 
 
 I THEN confidered the manner in which this ftory 
 had been received, and thepoifibility that it mighthave 
 paused for a jeft upon others, if he had not laboured 
 againft himfelf. From hence, thought I, there are two 
 ways which the well-bred world generally takes to 
 correct fuch a practice, when they do not think fit to 
 contradict it flatly. 
 
 THE firft of thefeis a general filence, which I would 
 not advife any one to interpret in his own behalf. It is 
 often the effect of prudence in avoiding a quarrel, when 
 they fee another drive fb faff that there is no flopping 
 him without being run againft ; and but very feldom the 
 effect ofweaknefs in believing fuddenly. The generality 
 of mankind are not fo grofly ignorant, as fome over- 
 bearing fpirits would perfuade themfelves; and if the 
 authority of a character or a caution againft danger 
 make us fupprefs our opinions, yet neither of thefe are 
 of force enough to fupprefs our thoughts of them. If a 
 man who has endeavoured to amufe his company with 
 improbabilities could but look into their minds, he 
 would find that they imagine he lightly effeems of their 
 fenfe when he thinks to impofe upon them, and that he 
 is lefs efteemed by them for his attempt in doing fo. 
 His endeavour to glory at their expence becomes a 
 ground of quarrel, and the fcorn and indifference with 
 which they entertain it begins the immediate punifh- 
 ment: and indeed (if we fhould even go no further) 
 filence, or a negligent indifference, has a deeper way 
 of wounding than oppofition, becaufe oppofition pro- 
 ceeds from an anger that has a fort of generous fenti- 
 rnent for the adverfary mingling along with it, while it 
 Chews that there is fome efteemin your mind for him ; 
 in fhort, that you think him worth while to contefl 
 with : but filence, or a negligent indifference., proceeds 
 from anger, mixed with a fcorn that fhews another he 
 is thought by you too contemptible to be regarded. 
 
 THE 
 
NO J3». T HE SPECTATO R. 259 
 
 THE other method which the world has taken 
 for correcting this practice of filfe furprife, is to over- 
 moot fuch talkers in their own bow, or to raife the 
 ftory with further degrees of impofhbility, and fet np 
 for a voucher to them in fuch a manner as muft let 
 them fee they {land detected. Thus I have heard a 
 difcoiuTe was once managed upon the effects of iear. 
 One of the company had given an account how it 
 had turned his friend's hair gray in a night, while the 
 terrors of a fhipwreck encompalfed him. Another tak- 
 ing the hint from hence, began upon his own know- 
 lege, to enlarge his indances of the like nature to fuch 
 a number, that it was not probable he could ever have 
 met with them; and as he ftill grounded thofe upon 
 different caufes, for the fake of variety, it might fcem 
 at laft, from his ffnre of the converfation, almoft im- 
 poffible that any one who can feel the paflion of fear 
 ihould all his life ej'cape fo common an effect of it. By 
 this time fome of the company grew negligent, or de- 
 firous to contradict him : but one rebuked the reft with 
 an appearance of feverity, and with the known old flo- 
 ry in his head, allured them they need not fcruple to be- 
 lieve that the fear of any thing ean make a man's hair 
 gray, fince he knew one whofe periwig had fuffered fo 
 by it. Thus he flopped the talk, and made them eafy. 
 Thus is the fame method taken to bring us to fhame, 
 which we fondly take to increafe our character. It is in~ 
 deed a kind of mimicry, by which another puts on our 
 air of converfation to fhow us to ourfelves: he feems 
 to look ridiculous before you, that you may remember 
 how near a refemblance you bear to him, or that you 
 may know that he will not lie under the imputation of 
 believing you. Then it is that you are flruck dumb im- 
 mediately with a confeientious fhame for what you 
 have been faying. Then it is that you are inwardly 
 grieved at the fentiments which you cannot but per- 
 ceive others entertain concerning you. In fhort, you 
 are againft yourfelf; the laugh of the company runs 
 againlf you ; the cenfuring world is obliged to you for 
 that triumph which you have allowed them at your 
 own expence ; and truth, which you have injured, has 
 a near way of being revenged on you, when by the 
 
 bare 
 
260 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 N°539- 
 
 bare repetition of your ftory you become a frequent 
 diverfion for the public. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 TH E other day, walking in Pancras church- 
 yard, I thought of your paper wherein you 
 mention epitaphs, and am of opinion this has a 
 thought in it worth being communicated to your 
 readers. 
 
 Here innocence and beauty Her, ivhofe breath 
 Was /natch'' 'd by early, not untimely death. 
 Hence did fie go, ju ft as Jhe did begin 
 Sorrow to know, before jhe knew to fin. 
 Death, that does fin and forrow thus prevent y 
 Is the next blefiing to a life well/pent. 
 
 1 am, SIR, 
 
 Tour fiervant. 
 
 Heteroclyta funto. 
 Be they Heteroclites. 
 
 Quae Genus. 
 
 Mr. Spectataor. 
 
 1AM a young widow of a good fortune and family, 
 and juft come to town ; where I find I have clufters 
 of pretty fellows come already to vifit me, fome 
 dying with hopes, others with fears, tho' they never 
 fawme. Now what I would beg of you, would be to 
 know whether I may venture to ufe thefe pert fellows 
 with the fame freedom as I did my country acquain- 
 tance. I defire your leave to ufe them as to me fliall 
 feem meet, without imputation of a jilt ; for fince I 
 make declaration that not one of them lhallhave me, 
 1 think I ought to be allowed the liberty of infulting 
 thofe who have the vanity to believe it is in their pow- 
 er to make me break that refolution. There are fchools 
 
 ' for 
 
N°S39- THE SPECTATOR. 261 
 
 * for learning to ufe foils, frequented by thofe who ne- 
 ' ver defign to fight; and this ufelefs way of aiming at 
 
 * the heart, without defign to wound it on either fide, is 
 
 * the play with which I am refolved to divert rnyfelf : 
 
 * The man who pretends to win, I (hall ufe like him 
 
 * who comes into a fencing-fchool to pick a quarrel. I 
 ' hope, upon this foundation, you will give me the free 
 f 'ufe of the natural and artificial force of my eyes, looks, 
 
 * and geftures. As for verbal promifes, I will make 
 ? none, but (hall have no mercy on the conceited inter- 
 ' preters of glances and motions. I am particularly (kil- 
 
 * led in the downcaft eye, and the recovery into a fud- 
 ' den full afpecl, and away again, as you may have feen 
 i fometimes praclifed by us country beauties beyond all 
 ' that you have obferved in courts and cities. Add to 
 ' this, Sir, that I have a ruddy heedlefs look, which co- 
 
 * vers artifice the bed of any thing. Tho' 1 can dance 
 
 * very well, I affecT: a tottering untaught way of walk- 
 ' ing by which I appear an eafy prey ; and never exert 
 ' my inftrucf ed charms 'till I find I have engaged a pur- 
 ' fuer. Be pleafed, Sir, to print this letter; which will 
 
 * certainly begin the chace of a rich widow : The many 
 
 * foldings., efcapes, returns and doublings which I 
 ' make, I (hall from time to time communicate to you, 
 
 * for the better inftruction of all females who fet up, 
 
 * like me, for reducing the prefent exorbitant power 
 < and infolence of man. 
 
 / am, SIR, 
 
 Tour faithful correfpondent, 
 
 Relicta Lovely. 
 Dear Mr. Spectator, 
 
 I DEPEND upon your profefTed refpect for virtu- 
 ous love, for your immediate anfwering the defign 
 of this letter; which is no other than to lay before 
 the world the feverity of certain parents who defire to 
 fufpend the marriage of a difcreet young woman of 
 eighteen, three years longer, for no other reafon but 
 that of her being too young to enter into that Itate. 
 As to the confideration of riches, my circumftanees 
 
 ' are 
 
162 THE SPECTATOR. NO 539, 
 
 ( are fuch, that I cannot be fufpecced to make my ad- 
 c dreflfes to her on fuch low motives as avarice or am- 
 ' bition. If ever innocence, wit and beauty, united 
 
 * their utmoft charms, they have in her. I wifh you 
 ( would expatiate a little on this fubject, and admonifli 
 1 her parents that it may be from the very imperfection 
 ' of human nature itfelf, and not any perfonal frai'l- 
 ' ty of her on me, that our inclinations baffled at pre* 
 
 * fent may alter ; and while we are arguing with our- 
 4 felves to put off the enjoyment of our prefent pafll- 
 
 < ons, our affections may change their objects in the 
 
 * operation. It is a very delicate fubject to talk upon ; 
 « but if it were but hinted, I am in hopes it would give 
 
 < the parties concerned fome reflexion that might expe- 
 <. dite our happinefs. There is a pofllbility, and I hope 
 ( I may fay it without imputation of immodefty to her 
 ( I love with the higheft honour ; I fay, theie is a pof- 
 c fibility this delay may be as painful to her as it is to 
 t me. If it be as much, it muft be more, by reafon of 
 ( the fevere rules the fex are under in being denied 
 ( even the relief of complaint. If yon oblige me in 
 t this, and I fucceed, I promife you a place at my wed- 
 s ding, and a treatment fuitable to your fpectatorial 
 , dignity. 
 
 Tour moft humble fervant, 
 
 Euflace, 
 
 SIR, 
 
 ' T YESTERDAY heard a young gentleman, that 
 
 * JL looked as if he was juft come to the town and a 
 ' fcarf, upon evil-fpeaking; which fubject, you know, 
 
 * archbifhopTillotfon has fo nobly handled in afermon 
 
 * in his Folio. As foon as ever he had named his text, 
 
 * and had opened a little the drift of his difcourfe, I 
 ' was in great hopes he had been one ofSirRo ger's chap- 
 ' lains. I have conceived fo great an idea of the charm- 
 
 * ing difcourfe above, that I mould have thought one 
 
 * part of my fabbath very well fpent in hearing a repe- 
 
 * tition of it. But alas*! Mr. Spectator, this reve- 
 
 * tend divine gave us his grace's fermon, and yet I do 
 
 < not 
 
K° 540. THE SPECTATOR. 263 
 
 ' not know how ; even I, that I am fure have read it at 
 ' leaft twenty times, could not tell what to make of it, 
 f and was at a lofs fometimes to guefs what the man 
 ' aimed at. He was fo jull indeed, as to give ns all the 
 
 * heads and the fub-diviiions of the fermon; and far- 
 
 * ther I think there was not one beautiful thought in it 
 
 * but what we had. But then, Sir, this gentleman 
 
 * made fo many pretty additions ; and he could never 
 
 * give us a paragraph of the fermon, but he introduced 
 < it with fomething which, methought, looked more 
 
 * like a defign to (hew his own ingenuity, than to 
 
 * inftruct the people. In fhort, he added and cur- 
 
 * tailed in fuch a manner that he vexed me ; infomuch 
 ' that I could not forbear thinking (what I confels, 
 i I ought not to have thought of in fo holy a place) 
 
 * that this young (park was as juflly blameable as Bul- 
 i lock or Penkethman when they mend a noble play 
 
 * of Shakefpear or Johnfon. Pray, Sir, take this in- 
 
 * to your confideration ; and if we mult be entertain- 
 ' ed with the works of any of thofe great men, delire 
 
 * thefe gentlemen to give them us as they find them, 
 
 * that fo when we read them to our families at home, 
 f they may the better remember they have heard them 
 
 * at church. 
 
 SIR, 
 
 Tour humble fervant. 
 
 N° 540. Wednejday^ November 19. 
 
 ■ Non deficit alter. Virg. ]&n. 6. v. 143, 
 
 A fecund is not wanting. 
 
 Mr. Spectator? 
 
 THERE is no part of your writings which I 
 have in more efteem than your criticifm upon 
 Milton. It is an honourable and candid en- 
 deavour to fet the works of our noble writers in the 
 
 * graceful 
 
264 
 
 THE- SPECTATOR. N° 540. 
 
 graceful light which they deferve. You will lofe 
 much of my kind inclination towards you, if you do 
 not attempt the encomium of Spenfer alfo, or at 
 leaf): indulge my paflion for that charming author fo 
 far as to print the loofc hints I now give you on that 
 fubject. 
 
 f SPENSER's general plan is the representation 
 of fix virtues, holinefs, temperance, chaftity, friend- 
 ship, juftice, and courtefy, in fix legends by fix per- 
 fons. The fix perfonages are fnppofed under proper 
 allegories fuitable to their refpective characters, to do 
 all that is necefiary for the full manifeftation of the 
 refpective virtues which they are to exert. 
 ' THESE one might undertake to {hew, under the 
 feveral heads, are admirably drawn; no images im- 
 proper, and moit furprifingly beautiful. The red* 
 crofs knight runs through the whole fteps of the chri- 
 ftian life; Guyon does all that temperance can pofli- 
 bly require; Britomartis (a woman) obferves the 
 true rules of unaffected chaftity; Arthegal is in eve- 
 ry refpect of life ftrictly and wifely juft; Calidore is 
 rightly courteous. 
 
 'IN fhort, in Fairy-Land, where knights-errant 
 have a full fcope to range, and to do even what Ario- 
 ftos or Orlandos could not do in the world without 
 breaking into credibility, Spenfer's knights have, 
 under thofe fix heads, given a full and truly poeti- 
 cial fyftem of chriftian, public, and low life. 
 ' HIS legend of friendfhip is more diffufe, and yet 
 even there the allegory is finely drawn, only the 
 heads various, one knight could not there fupport 
 all the parts. 
 
 * TO do honour to his country, Prince Arthur is an 
 univerfal hero ; in holinefs, temperance, chaftity, 
 and juftice, fuper-excellent, For the fame reafon, and 
 to compliment queen Elizabeth, Gloriana, queen 
 of fairies, whofe court was the afylum of the op- 
 preffed, reprefents that glorious queen. At her com- 
 mands all thefe knights fet forth, and only at hers 
 the red-crofs knight deftroys the dragon, Guyon 
 overturns the bower of blifs, Arthegal (i. e. Juftice") 
 beats down Geryonea(i. e. Philip II. king of Spain) 
 
 * to 
 
N° 540. THE SPECTATOR. 265 
 
 * to refcne Beige (i. e. Holland) and he beats the Gran- 
 ■ torto (the lame Philip in another light) to reftore I- 
 
 * rena (i. e. Peace to Europe.) 
 
 < CHASTITY being the firft female virtue, Brito- 
 
 * martis is a Briton ; her part is fine, though it re- 
 
 * quires explication. His Itile is very poetical ; no 
 
 * puns, affectations of wit, forced antitheses, or any of 
 
 * that low tribe. 
 
 ' HIS old words are all true Englifh, and numbers 
 1 exqnifiite ; and fince of words there is the mult a re- 
 
 < nafcentur, fince they are all proper, fuch a poem 
 « fhould not (any more than Milton's) fubfift all of it 
 « of common ordinary words. See inftances of de- 
 
 < fcriptions. 
 
 Caufelefs Jealoufy in Britomartis, Book V. Cant. 6. 
 Stan. 14. in its reftleihefs. 
 
 Like as a wayward child, whofe founder fee p 
 Is broken with fome fearful dream' 's affright. 
 With fr award will doth fet himfelftcr weepy 
 Ne can be ftilVd for all his nurfe's night, 
 But kicks, and fetalis, and firleks for fell defpight > 
 Now fcratching her, and her loofe locks mi fifing. 
 Now fe eking darknef, and now fe eking light >• 
 Then craving fuck, and then the fuck rcfufing : 
 Such was this lady'' s fit in her love's fnd accufr.g. 
 
 Curiofity occafioned by Jealoufy, upon occafion of her 
 Lover's abfence. Ibid. Stan. 8, 9. 
 
 There as [he looked long, at lafi/lefpy'd 
 
 One coming towards her with hafiy fpeed, 
 
 Well ween'djhe then, ere him [be plain defcry V, 
 
 That it was one fent from her Love indeed ; 
 
 Whereat her heart was fill'd with hope and dread, 
 
 Ne would fie flay till he in place could come, 
 
 But ran to meet him forth to know his tidings fame ; 
 
 Even in the door him meeting, /he begun, 
 
 And where is he^ thy lord, and how far hence? 
 
 Declare at once; and hath he lofl or win f 
 
 VOL.. VII. M Cafe 
 
266 THE SPECTATOR. N°s 4 o. 
 
 Care and his houfe are defcribed thus, Book IV. Cant. 
 6. Stan. 32, 34, 35. 
 
 Not far away j not meet for any guefl, 
 
 They fpy'd a little cottage, like fame poor man's neft. 
 
 34- 
 There ent'ringin, they found the good-man' s f elf , 
 Full bufily unto his -work y bent, 
 Who was to weet a wretched weari/h elf, 
 With hollow eyes and raw-bone cheeks forfpent, 
 As if he h ad in pri [on long been pent. 
 Full black and grie/ly did his face appear, 
 Befmear'd with fnoke that nigh his eye- fight blent, 
 With rugged beard and hoary Jhaggy hair, 
 The which he never wont to comb, or comely fiiear. 
 
 35- 
 Rude was his garment and to rags all rent, 
 Ne better had he, ne for better car'd; 
 With blifier'd hands amonflg the cinders brent, 
 And fingers filthy, with long nails unpaid, 
 Right fit to rend the food on which he far' d. 
 His name was Care ; a blackfmith by his trade, 
 That neither day nor night from working fpar'd, 
 But to fm all purpofe iron wedges made : 
 Thofe be unquiet thoughts that careful minds invade. 
 
 1 HOMER's epithets were much admired by anti- 
 ' quity : See what great juftnefs and variety there is in 
 ' thefe epithets of the trees in the foreft where the 
 ' red-crofs knight loft Truth,B. I. Cant. I.Stan. 8,9. 
 
 The failing pine, the cedar proud and tally 
 The vine-prop elm, the poplar never dry, 
 The builder oak, fole king offorejjs all, 
 The afpine good for jlaves, the cyprefs funeral. 
 
 9- 
 
 The laurel, meed of mighty conquerors, 
 And poets fage ; the fir that weepeth Jlill, 
 The willow worn of forlorn paramours, 
 The yew obedient to the bender's will, 
 
 The 
 
 
NO 541. THE SPECTATOR, 267 
 
 The birch for fiafts, the fallow for the mill ; 
 The myrrhe fweet, bleeding in the bitter wound ', 
 The warlike beech, the a(h for nothing ill, 
 The fruitful olive, and the platane found. 
 The carver holm, the mapl-e feldom inward found. 
 
 c I SHALL trouble you no more, but defire you tc 
 
 * let me conclude with thefe verfes, tho' I think they 
 
 * have already been quoted by you T they are direction:? 
 ' to young ladies opprefTed with calumny. Book VL 
 
 Cant. 6. Stan. 14. 
 
 The beft (faid he) that I can you advife, 
 
 Is to avoid th' occafion of the ill; 
 
 For wheli the caufe whence evil doth arife 
 
 Removed 'is , the effect fur ceafeth ftill. 
 
 Ab (lain from pi e a fur e, and reftrain your will , 
 
 Subdue defire, and bridle loofe delight, 
 
 life fcanted diet, and forbear your fill, 
 
 Shunfecrecy, and talk in open fight ; 
 
 Scjballyoufoon repair your pre/hit evil plight. T 
 
 N°54i. 'Thurfday, November 20. 
 
 Format enim natura prias nos inius ad omnem 
 Fortunarum habitant ; juvat, aut impellit ad imnr, 
 Jfut ad humummperore gravi deducit et angit; 
 Pofl effert animi motus intsrprele lingua. 
 
 Hor. ASS Poet. v. 108. 
 For nature formsy and fftens us within, 
 And writes our fortune's changes in oar face : 
 Pleafure enchants, impetuous rage tranfports, 
 And grief dejects, and wrings the tortured foul ; 
 And thefe are all interpreted by fpeech. 
 
 Roscommon. 
 
 Y friend the Templar, whom I havefo often 
 mentioned in thefe writings, having detefmin- 
 ed to lay afide his poetical ftudies in order to a 
 dofer purfuit of the law, has put together, as afarewel 
 M 2 efTay, 
 
263 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 N°54i. 
 
 efTay, fome thoughts concerning Pronunciation and 
 Action, which he has given me leave to communicate 
 to the public. They are chiefly collected from his fa- 
 vourite author, Cicero, who is known to have been an 
 intimate friend of Rofcius the actor, and a good judge 
 of dramatic performances, as well as the mod eloquent 
 pleader of the time in which he lived. 
 
 CICERO concludes his celebrated books de Oratore 
 with fome precepts for pronunciation and action, with- 
 out which part he affirms that the beft orator in the 
 world can never fucceed; and an indifferent one, who 
 is matter of this, fhall gain much greater applaufe. 
 What could make a itronger impreffion, fays he, than 
 thofe exclamations of Gracchus — Whither fhall I turn? 
 Wretch that I am ! to what place betake m\felf? Ska!/ 
 
 I go to the Capitol '?. Alas! it is overflowed with 
 
 my brothers blood. Or fhall I retire to my houfeY Tet 
 there I behold my mother plunged in mi/ery, weeping and 
 de/p airing ! Thefe breaks and turns of paflion, it feems, 
 were Co enforced by the eyes, voice, and geftur e of the 
 fpeakcr, that his very enemies could not refrain from 
 tears. I infift, fays Tully, upon this the rather, be- 
 caufe our orators, who are as it were actors of the 
 truth itfelf, have quitted this manner of fpeaking; and 
 the players, who are but the. imitators of truth, have 
 taken it up. • ~ 
 
 I SHALL therefore purfne the hint he has here giv- 
 en me, and for the fervice of the Britifli ftage I fhall 
 copy fome of the rules which this great Roman matter 
 has laid down; yet, without confining myfelf wholly 
 to his thoughts or words: and to adapt this efTay the 
 more to the purpofe for which I intend it, inftead of 
 the examples he has inferted in this difcourfe, out of 
 the ancient tragedies, I fhall make ufe of parallel palla- 
 ges out of the mofl celebrated of our own. 
 
 THE delign of art is to affift action as much as 
 poffible in the reprefentation of nature; for the ap- 
 pearance of reality is that which moves us in all repre- 
 sentations, and thefe have always the greater force, the 
 nearer they approach to nature, and the lefs they fhew 
 of imitation. 
 
 NATURE 
 
NO 541. THE SPECTATOR. 269 
 
 N ATUR E herfeif has afligned, to every emotion 
 of the foul, its peculiar caft of" the countenance, tone 
 of voice, and manner of gefture; and the whole per- 
 fon, all the features of the face and tones of the voice, 
 anfwer, like firings upon mufical inftrurnents, to the 
 nnpreflions made on them by the mind. Thus the 
 founds of the voice, according to the various touches 
 which raife them, form themfelves into an acute or 
 grave, quick or flow, loud or foft tone. The'e 
 too may be fubdivided into various kinds of tones, as 
 the gentle, the rough, the contracted, the diffufe, 
 the continued, the intermitted, the broken, abrupt, 
 winding, foftned, or elevated. Every one of thele 
 may be employed with art and judgment; and all 
 iupply the actor, as colours do the painter, with an 
 fxpreilive variety. 
 
 ANGER exerts its peculiar voice in an acute, rail- 
 ed, and hurrying found. The paffionate character of 
 king Lear, as it is admirably drawn by Shakefpear,- a- 
 bounds with the flrongeft initances of this kind. 
 
 ■Death! confufion. 
 
 Fiery!— what quality?— why C Hotter! Ghftsr! 
 Vd fpeukivitb the duke ofComvjal and his w>fe. 
 Are they inform'' d of this ? my breath and blood ! 
 Fiery? the fiery duke?- etc. 
 
 SORROW and complaint demand a voice quite 
 different, flexible, flow, interrupted, and modulated 
 in a mournful tone; as in that pathetical foliloquy of 
 cardinal Wolfey on his fall. 
 
 Farewell a long farewel to all my greatnefs ! 
 
 This is the [late of man! To day he puts forth 
 The tender leaves of hopes ; to morrow blojfoms, 
 And bears his blufhing honours thick upon him. 
 The third day comes a fro ft, a killing froft, 
 And when he thinks, good tafy man, full fur e// 
 His greatnefs is a ripening, nips his root, 
 And then he falls as I do. 
 
 M 3 We 
 
2 JO 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. N°54i. 
 
 WE have likewife a fine example of this in the 
 whole part of Andromache in the Diftreft-Mother > 
 particularly in thefe lines. 
 
 Til go, and in the anguifh of my heart 
 
 Weep o'er my child If he mttfi die, my life 
 
 Is -wrapt in his, I /hall not long furvive. 
 
 'Tis for his fake that I have fufferd life, 
 
 Gron'din captivity, and out-liv'd Hetfor. 
 
 Tes, my Aftyanax, we'll go. together I 
 
 Together to the realms of night we'll go ; ~) 
 
 There to thy ravijh'd eyes thy fire I'll jhow-, V 
 
 And point him out among the (hades below. j, 
 
 FEAR expreffes itfelf in a low> hefitating and ap- 
 jedr found. If the reader confiders the following 
 fpeech of lady Macbeth? while her hnfbandis about 
 the murder of Duncan and his-grooms, he will imagine 
 her even affrighted with the found of her own voice 
 while fhe is fpeaking it. 
 
 Alas I I am afraid they have- aiaak'd, 
 And' 'tis not done ? th' atte-mpt, and not thedeed y 
 Confounds us — Hark ! — ■/ laid the daggers ready, 
 He could not mifs them, fled he not refembled 
 My father as he Jlept, I had done it. 
 
 COURAGE affumes a louder tone; as in that fpeech 
 of Don Sebaflian. 
 
 Here fati ate all your fury ; 
 Let fortune empty her whole quiver on me, 
 1 have a foul that like an ample jhield 
 Can take in all, and verge enough for more, 
 
 PLEASURE dilfolves into a luxurious,, mild, ten- 
 der, and joyous modalatio'n ; as in the following lines 
 in Caius Marius. 
 
 havinial there's mufic in the name, 
 That foftning me to infant iendernefs, 
 Makes my heart fpring, like thefirfl leaps of life. 
 
 AND 
 
NO 541. THE SPECTATOR. 271 
 
 AND perplexity is different from all thefe ; grave, 
 but not bemoaning, "with an earned uniform found of 
 voice ; as in that celebrated fpeech of Hamlet. 
 
 To be, or not to be ? that is the queflion; 
 
 Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to fuffer 
 The flings and arrows of 'outrageous fortune 9 
 Or to take arms againfl a fea of 'troubles , 
 And by oppoflng end them. To die, to fleep; 
 No more ; and by a flee p to fay we end 
 The heart-ach and the thoufand natural fhocks 
 That flejh is heir to ; 'tis a confummation 
 
 Devoutly to be ivijh\i. To die, to flee p 
 
 To fleep ; perchance to dream! Ay, there's the rub. 
 For in that fleep of death what dreams may come. 
 When we have Jhitflled off this mortal coil, '■ 
 
 Mufl give ui pa ufe There's the refpetl 
 
 That makes calamity of fo long life ; 
 
 For who would bear the whips and f corns of time, 
 
 Th' oppreflor's wrongs, the proud man' s contumely, 
 
 The pangs of def pis' d love, the law's delay. 
 
 The infolence of office, and the fpurns 
 
 That patient merit ofth' unworthy takes, 
 
 When he himfelf might his quietus make 
 
 With a bare bodkin ? Who would far dies bear, 
 
 To groan and fweat under a weary life ? 
 
 But that the dread of ' fomcthing after death, 
 
 That umlif cover' d country , from whofe bourn 
 
 No traveller returns, puzzles the will, 
 
 And makes us rather choofe thofe ills we have, 
 
 Than fly to others that we know not of. 
 
 AS all thefe varieties of voice are to be dire&ecl by 
 the fenfe, fo the aclion is to be directed by the voice, 
 and with a beautiful propriety, as it were to enforce it. 
 The arm, which by a ftrong figure Tully calls the Ora- 
 tor's Weapon, is to be fometimes raifed and extended; 
 and the hand, by its motion, fometimes to lead> and 
 fometimes to follow the words as they are uttered. 
 The damping of the foot too has its proper exprefiion. 
 in contention, anger or abfolute command. But the 
 face is the epitome of the whole man, and the eyes 
 M 4 are 
 
272 v THE SPECTATO R. N° 5-41. 
 
 are as it were the epitome of the face ; for which rea- 
 fon, he fays, the bed judges among the Romans were 
 not extremely pleafed, even with Rofcius himfelf in 
 his mafk. Nor part of the body, befides the face, is cap- 
 able of as many changes as there are different emo- 
 tions in the mind, and of exp re fling them all by tho-fe 
 changes. Not is this to be done without the freedom 
 of the eyes ; therefore Theophraftus called, one, who 
 barely rehearfed his fpeech with his eyes fixed, an ab- 
 ferit atlor. 
 
 AS the countenance admits of fo great variety, it 
 requires alfo great judgment to govern it. Not that 
 the form of the face is to be fiiifted on every occalion, 
 left it turn to farce and buffoonry; but it is certain, that 
 the eyes have a wonderful power of marking the emo- 
 tions of the mind, fometimes by a ftedfaft look, fome- 
 times by a carelefs one? now by a ftidden regard, then 
 by a joyful iparkiing, as the fenfe of the words is di- 
 versified : for action is, as it were, the fpeech of the 
 features and limbs, and mud therefore conform itfelf 
 always to the fentiments of the foul. And it may be 
 obferved, that in all which relates to the gefture, there 
 is a wonderful force implanted by nature, fince the 
 vulgar, the unfkilful, and even the moft barbarous are 
 chiefly affected by this. None are moved by the found 
 of words, but thofe who underftand the language ; and 
 the fenfe of many things is loft upon men of a dull ap- 
 prehenfion: but action is a kind of univerfal tongue; 
 all men are fubject to the fame paflions, and confe- 
 tjuently know the fame marks of them in others, by 
 which they themielves exprefs them. 
 
 PERHAPS fome of my readers may be of opini- 
 on, that the hints I have here made ufe of, out of Ci- 
 cero, are fomewhat too refined for the players on our 
 theatre: in anfwer to which, I venture to lay it down 
 as a maxim, that without good fenfe no one can be a 
 good player, and that he is very unfit to perfonate the 
 dignity of a Roman hero, *'ho cannot enter into the 
 rules for pronunciation and gefture delivered by a 
 Roman orator. 
 
 THERE is another thing which my author does 
 not think too minute to infill on, though it is purely 
 
 me- 
 
N° 542. T HE SPECTATO K. 273, 
 
 mechanical ; and that is the right pitching of the voice. 
 On this occaiion he tells the ilory of Gracchus, who 
 employed a fervant with a little ivory pipe to Hand be- 
 hind him, and give him the right pitch, as often as he 
 wandered too far from the proper modulation. Every 
 voice; fays Tully, has its particular medium and com- 
 pafs, and the fweetnefs of fpeech confifts in leading it 
 through all the variety of tones naturally, and without 
 touching any extreme. Therefore, fays he, Leave tie 
 pipe at homey but carry the fenfe of tins cujlom with 
 you. 
 
 N° 542. Friday^ November 21. 
 
 Et fibi preferri fe gaudet- 
 
 Ovid. Met. 1. 2. v. 430, 
 
 . He heard, 
 
 Well-pleas'' 'd, himfelf before himfelf prefer' d. 
 
 Addison. 
 
 ' HEN I have been prefent in alTemblies where 
 my paper has been talked of, 1 have been ve- 
 ry well pleafed to hear tbofe who would de- 
 tract from the author of it obferve, that the letters 
 which are fent to the Spectator are as good, if not bet- 
 ter than any of his works. Upon this occafion many 
 letters of mirth are ufually mentioned, which fome 
 think the Spectator writ to himfelf, and which others 
 commend becaufe they fancy he received them from his 
 correfpondents : Such are thofe from the Valetudina- 
 rian ; the infpeflor of the fign-pofts ; the mailer of the 
 fan-exercife; with that of the hooped petticoat; that 
 of Nicholas Hart the annual fleeper; that from Sir 
 John Envill ; that upon the London cries ; with multi- 
 tudes of the fame nature. As I love nothing more than 
 to mortify the ill-natured., that 1 may do it effectually, 
 I mud acquaint them, they have very often praifed me 
 when they did not defign it, and that they have ap- 
 M 5 proved 
 
274 THE SPECTATOR. N° 542. 
 
 proved my writings when they thought they had dero- 
 gated from them. I have heard feveral of thefe unhap- 
 py gentlemen proving, by undeniable arguments* that 
 I was not able to pen a letter which I had written the 
 day before. Nay, I have heard fome of them throw- 
 ing out ambiguous expreffions, and giving the compa- 
 ny reafon to fufpect that they themfeives did me the 
 honour to fend me fuch and fuch a particular epiftle, 
 which happened to be talked of with the eflieem or ap- 
 probation of thofe who were prefent. Thefe rigid cri- 
 tics are fo afraid of allowing me any thing which does 
 not belong to me, that they will not be pofitive whe- 
 ther the lion, the wild boar, and the flower-pots in 
 the play-houfe* did not actually write thofe letters 
 which came to me in their names. I muft therefore 
 inform thefe gentlemen, that I often choofe this way 
 of calling my thoughts into a letter, for the follow- 
 ing reafons ; Firft* out of the policy of thofe who try 
 their jeft upon another, before they own it themfeives. 
 Secondly, becaufe I would extort a little praife from 
 . fuch who will never applaud any thing whole author 
 is known and certain. Thirdly, becaufe it gave me 
 an opportunity of introducing a great variety of cha- 
 racters into my work, which could not have been 
 done, had I always written in the perfon of the Spe- 
 ctator. Fourthly* becaufe the dignity fpedtatorial 
 would have fuffered, had I pnblifhed as from myfelf 
 thofe feveral ludicrous compofitions which I have a- 
 fcribed to fictitious names and characters. And laftiy, 
 becaufe they often ferve to bring in more naturally, 
 fuch additional reflexions as have been placed at the 
 end of them. 
 
 THERE are others who have likewife done me a 
 very particular honour* though undesignedly. Thefe 
 are fuch who will needs have it, that I have tranflated 
 or borrowed many of my thoughts out of books 
 which are written in other languages. I have heard of 
 a perfon who is more famous for his library than his 
 learning, that has aflerted this more than once in his 
 private converfation. Were it true* I am fure he could 
 not fpeak it from his own knowlege; but had he read 
 the books which he has collected; he would find this 
 
NO 542. THE SPECTATOR. 275 
 
 accnfation to be wholly groundlefs. Thofe who are 
 truly learned will acquit me in this point, in which 
 I have been fo far from offending, that I have been 
 fcrupulous perhaps to a fault in quoting the authors 
 of feveral paifages which I might have made my own. 
 But as this ailertion is in reality an encomium on 
 what I have published, I ought rather to glory In it, 
 than endeavour to confute it. 
 
 SOME are fo very willing to alienate from me that 
 fmall reputation which might accrue to me from any 
 of thefe my fpeculations, that they attribute fome of 
 the bed of them to thofe imaginary manufcripts with 
 which I have introduced them, There are others, I 
 muff, confefs, whofe objections have given me a great- 
 er concern, as they feem to reflect, under this head, 
 rather on my morality than on my invention. Thefe 
 are they who fay an author is guilty of falfhood, 
 when he talks to the public of manufcripts which he 
 never faw, or defcribes fcenes of action or difcourfe 
 in which he was never engaged. But thefe gentlemen 
 would do well to confider, there is not a fable or pa- 
 rable, which ever was made ufe of, that is not liable to 
 this exception ; fince nothing, according to this no- 
 tion, can be related innocently, which was not once 
 matter of fact. Befides, I think the molt ordinary 
 reader may be able to difcover by my way of writ- 
 ing, what I deliver in thefe occurrences as truth, and 
 what as fiction. 
 
 SINCE I am unawares engaged in anfwering the 
 feveral objections which have been made againfl thefe 
 my works, I mult take notice that there are fome who 
 affirm a paper of this nature mould always turn upon 
 diverting fubjects, and others who find fault with eve- 
 ry one of them that hath not an immediate tendency 
 to the advancement of religion or learning. I fliall 
 leave thefe gentlemen to difpute it out among them- 
 felves; fince I fee one half of my conduct patronized 
 by each fide. Were I ferious on an improper fubject, 
 or trifling in a ferious one, I fhould defervedly draw 
 upon me the cenfure of my readers; or were I confei- 
 ous of any thing in my writings that is not innocent 
 at lead:, or that the greateft part of them were not fin- 
 
 cerely 
 
276 THE SPECTATOR. N° 542. 
 
 cerely defigned to difcountenance vice and ignorance, 
 and fupport the intereft of true wifdom and virtue, I 
 jhould be more fevere upon myfelf than the public is 
 difpofed to be. In the mean while I defire my reader 
 to confider every particular paper or difcourfe as a di- 
 ftincl trad by itfelf, and independent of every thing 
 that goes before or after it. 
 
 I SHALL end this paper with the following letter, 
 which was really fent me, as fome others have been 
 which I have published, and for which I mull own. my- 
 felf indebted to their refpective writers. 
 
 S I R y 
 
 ' TT WAS this morning in a company of your well- 
 1 X wifhers, when we read over, with great fatisfa- 
 ' clion, Tully's obfervations on action adapted to the 
 ' Britifh theatre : Though, by the way, we were ve- 
 ' ry forry to find that you have difpofed of another 
 ' member of your club. Poor Sir Roger is dead, and 
 ' the worthy clergyman dying. Captain Sentry has 
 ' taken pofieffion of a fair eflate; Will Honeycomb 
 ' has married a farmer's daughter; and the Templar 
 
 * withdraws himfelf into the bufinefs of his own pro- 
 ' fefTion. What will all this end in ? We are afraid 
 1 it portends no good to the public. Unlefs you ve- 
 
 * ry fpeedily fix a day for the ele&ion of new mera- 
 
 * bers, we are under apprehenfions of lofing the Bri- 
 < tifh Spectator. I hear of a party of ladies who in- 
 t tend to addrefs you on this fubject, and queftion 
 
 * not, if you do not give us the flip very fuddenly, 
 
 * that you will receive addrcfFes from all parts of the 
 
 * kingdom to continue fo ufeful a work. Pray deli- 
 ' ver us out of this perplexity, and among the multi- 
 « tude of your readers you will particularly oblige 
 
 Tour mafi fincere friend andfervant, 
 O Philo-Spcc 
 
 Saturday} 
 
N°543- THE SPECTATOR, 277 
 
 N° 543. Saturday, November 22. 
 
 -Fades non omnibus ttf.a> 
 
 Nee diver fa tamen Ovid. Met. I. 2. v. 13. 
 
 77; o 5 «o/ #//'<£<? , confenting parts agree, 
 FaJhion\i ivitb fimilar variety, 
 
 THOSE, who were fkilful in anatomy among the 
 ancients, concluded from the outward and in- 
 ward make of an human body, that it was the 
 work of a being tranfeendently wife and powerful. As' 
 the world grew more enlightened in this art, their di(- 
 coveries gave them frefh opportunities of admiring 
 the conduct of providence in the formation of an hu- 
 man body. Galen was converted by his diiledtions, and 
 could not but own a fupreme being upon a furvey of 
 this his handy-work. There were, indeed; many parts 
 of which the old anatomifts did not know the certain 
 ufe ; but as they faw that mod of thofe which they ex- 
 amined were adapted with admirable art to their feve- 
 ral functions, they did not queflion but thofe, whofe 
 u!es they could not determine, were contrived with the 
 fame wifdom for refpective ends and purpofes. Since 
 the circulation of the blood has been found out, and 
 many other great difcoveries have been made by our 
 modern anatomifts, we fee new wonders in the human 
 frame, and difcern feveral important ufes for thofe 
 parts, which ufes the ancients knew nothing of. In 
 foort, the body of man is fuch a fubject as ftands the 
 utmoft tell of examination. Tho' it appears formed 
 with the nicelt wifdom, upon the moft fuperficial fur- 
 vey of it, it ftill mends upon the fearch, and produces 
 our furprife and amazement in proportion as we pry 
 into it. What I have here faid of an human body, 
 may be applied to the body of every animal which has 
 been the fubject of anatomical obfervations. 
 
 THE body of an animal is an object adequate to 
 our feafes. It is a particular fyftem of providence; that 
 
 lies 
 
278 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. N° 543. 
 
 lies in a narrow compafs. The eye is able to com- 
 mand it, and by fucceifive inquiries can f'earch into all 
 its parts. Could the body of the whole earth, or in- 
 deed the whole univerfe, be thus fubmitted to the exa- 
 mination of our fenfes, were it not too big and difpro- 
 portioned for our inquiries, too unwieldy for the ma- 
 nagement of the eye and hand, there is no queftion 
 but it would appear to us as curious and well-contrived 
 a frame as that of .an human body. We would fee the 
 fame concatenation and fubferviency, the fame neceffi- 
 ty and ufefulnefs, the fame beauty and harmony in all 
 and every of its parts, as what we difcover in the bo- 
 dy of every fingle animal. 
 
 THE more extended our reafon is, and the more 
 able to grapple with immenfe objects, the greater (till 
 are thofe difcoveries which it makes of wifdom and 
 providence in the works of the creation. A Sir Ifaac 
 Newton who ftands up as the miracle of the prefent 
 age, can look through a whole planetary fyftem ; con- 
 fider it in its weight, number and meafure; and draw 
 from it as many demonftrations of infinite power and 
 wifdom, as a more confined underftanding is able to 
 deduce from the fyftem of an human body. 
 
 BUT to return to our fpeculations on anatomy, I 
 fhall here confider the fabric and texture of the bodies 
 of animals in one particular view; which, in my o- 
 pinion, {hews the hand of a thinking and all-wife be- 
 ing in their formation, with the evidence of a thou- 
 fand demonftrations. I think we may lay this down 
 as an incontefted principle, that chance never ac~ts in 
 a perpetual uniformity and confidence with itfelf. If 
 one fhould always fling the fame number with ten thou- 
 fand dice, or fee every throw juft five times lefs, or 
 five times more in number than the throw which im- 
 mediately preceded it, who would not imagine there is 
 fome invifible power which direcfs the caft ? This" is 
 the proceeding which we find in the operations of na- 
 ture. Every kind of animal is diversified by different 
 magnitudes, each of which gives rife to a different fpe- 
 cies. Let a man trace the dog or lion-kind, and he 
 will obferve how many of the works of nature are pub- 
 Jifhed, if I may ufe the exprefiion, in a variety of edi- 
 tions. 
 
NO 543. THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 279 
 
 tions. If we look into the reptile world, or into thofe 
 different kinds of animals that fill the element of wa- 
 ter, we meet with the fame repetitions among feveral 
 fpecies, that differ very little from one another, but in 
 iize and bulk. You find the fame creature that is drawn 
 at large, copied out in feveral proportions, and ending 
 in miniature. It would be tedious to produce inftances 
 of this regular conduct in providence, as it would be 
 fuperfluous to thofe who are verfed i-n the natural hifto- 
 ry of animals. The magnificent harmony of the uni- 
 Verfe is fuch that we may oblerve innumerable divifi- 
 6ns running upon the fame ground. I might alfo ex- 
 tend this fpeculation to the dead parts of nature, in 
 which we may find matter difpofed into many fimilar 
 fyltems, a3 well in our furvey of ftars and planets as 
 of ftones, vegetables, and other fublunary parts of the 
 creation. In a word, providence has fhewn the rich- 
 nets of its goodnefs and wifdom, not only in the pro- 
 duction of many original fpecies, but in the multipli- 
 city of defcants which it has made on every original 
 fpecies in particular. 
 
 BUT to purfue this thought (fill farther: Every 
 living creature considered in itfelf, has many very 
 complicated parts that are exact copies of fome other 
 parts which it poffefles, and which are complicated in 
 the fame manner. One eye would have been fufficient 
 for the fubfiftence and prefervation of an animal ; but, 
 in order to better his condition, we fee another placed 
 with a mathematical exa&nefs in the fame mofl advan- 
 tageous fituation, and in every particular of the fame 
 fize and texture. Is it poflible for chance to be thus 
 delicate and uniform in her operations ? Should a mil- 
 lion of dice turn up twice together the fame number, 
 the wonder would be nothing in comparifon with this. 
 But when we fee this fimilitude and refemblance in the 
 arm? the hand, the fingers ; when we fee one half of 
 the body intirely correfpond with the other in all thofe 
 minute ftrokes, without which a man might have very 
 well fubfifted; nay, when we often fee a lingle part re- 
 peated an hundred times in the fame body, notwith- 
 flanding it confifls of the moll: intricate weaving of 
 jiumberlefs fibres? and thefeparts differing (till in mag- 
 
 ni- 
 
a8o. THE SPECTATOR. No 54$. 
 
 nitude, as the convenience of their particular fituation 
 requires ; (lire a man mud have a ftrange call of under- 
 ftanding, who does not difcover the finger of God in 
 fo wonderful a work. Thefe duplicates in thofe partsof 
 the body, without which a man might have very well 
 fubfilted, tho' not fo well as with them, are a plain de- 
 monftration of an all-wife contriver ; as thofe more nu- 
 merous copyings, which are found among the veiTels 
 of the fame body, are evident demonstrations that they 
 could not be the work of chance. This argument re- 
 ceives additional ftrength, if we apply it to every ani- 
 mal and infect within ourknowlege, as well as to thofe 
 numberiefs living creatures that are objects too minute 
 for a human eye : and if we confider how the feveral 
 fpecies in this whole world of life refemble one ano- 
 ther in very many particulars? fo far as is convenient 
 for their refpe&ive (rates of exiftence ; it is much more 
 probable that an hundred million of dice mould be ca- 
 fually thrown a hundred million of times in the fame 
 number, than that the body of any fingle animal 
 mould be produced by the fortuitous concourfe of mat- 
 ter. And that the like chance mould arife in innu- 
 merable initances, requires a degree of credulity that 
 is not under the direction of common fenfe. We may 
 carry this confideration yet further, if we reflect on the 
 two fexes in every living fpecies, with their refemblan- 
 cas to each other, and thofe particular distinctions 
 that were necelTary for the keeping up of this great 
 world of life. 
 
 THERE are many more demonftrations of a fu- 
 preme being, and of his tranfcendent wifdom, power* 
 and goodnefs in the formation of the body of a living 
 creature, for which I refer my reader to other writ- 
 ings, particularly to the fixth book of the poem, in- 
 titled Creation, where the anatomy of the human bo- 
 dy is defcribed with great pet fpicuity and elegance. I 
 have been particular on the thought which runs through 
 this fpeculation, becaufe I have not feen it enlarged 
 upon by others. O 
 
 Monday) 
 
NO 5 44. THE SPECTATOR. 281 
 
 N° 544. Monday^ November 24. 
 
 Nanquam ita quifquam tarn bene fubdutla ratione a$ 
 
 vitam fit, 
 Qui>i res, aetas, ufus femper illiquid apportet novi, 
 Aliquid moneat ; m ilia, quae te fcire credos, nefcias, 
 Et quae tibi put oris prima, in experiundo lit repudies. 
 Ter. Adelph. Ad. 5. Sc. 2. 
 
 No man iv as ever fo completely [kiWdin the conduil of 
 life, as not to receive new information from age and 
 experience ; infomuch that we find ourfe Ives really ig- 
 norant of what ,we thought we underfiood, and fee 
 cav.fe to rejeft what we fancied our tniejl interefi. 
 
 'HERE are, I think, fentiments in the follow- 
 ing letter from my friend captain Sentry.^ 
 which difcover a rational and equal frame of 
 mind, as well prepared for an advantageous as an un- 
 fortunate change of condition. 
 
 SIR, Coverley-Hall, Nov, 15, Worcefierfhire-. 
 
 I AM come to the fucceflion of the eftate of my ho- 
 noured kinfman Sir Roger de Coverley ; I 
 afTure you I find it no eafy talk to keep up the figure 
 of mailer of the fortune which was fo handfomly en- 
 joyed by that honed plain man. I cannot (with re- 
 fpecl: to the great obligations I have, be it fpoken) 
 reflect upon his character, but I am confirmed in the 
 truth which I have, I think, heard fpoken at the 
 club, to wit, That a man of a warm and well-difpof- 
 ed heart* with a very fmall capacity, is highly fuperi- 
 or in human fociety to him who with the greateit ta- 
 lents is cold and languid in his affections. But, alas ! 
 why do I make a difficulty in fpeaking of my worthy 
 anceftor's failings ? His little abfurdities and incapa- 
 city for the converfation of the politeft men are dead 
 with him, and his greater qualities are even new ufe- 
 
 < hi 
 
282 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. NO 544 . 
 
 ful to him. I know not whether by naming thofe dis- 
 abilities I do not enhance his merit, fince he has left 
 behind him a reputation in his country which would 
 be worth the pains of the wifeft man's whole life to 
 arrive at. By the way I muft obferve to you, that 
 many of your readers have miftook that pafTage in 
 your writings, wherein Sir Roger is reported to have 
 inquired into the private character of the young wo- 
 man at the tavern. I know you mentioned that cir- 
 cumftance as an inftance of the fimplicity and inno- 
 cence of his mind, which made him imagine it a very 
 eafy thing to reclaim one of thofe criminals, and not 
 as an inclination in him to be guilty with her. The 
 lefs difcerningof your readers cannot enter into that 
 delicacy of defcription in the character: but indeed 
 my chief bufinefs at this time is to reprefent to you 
 my prefent ftate of mind, and the fatisfaction I promife 
 to myfelf in the polfeffion of my new fortune. I 
 have continued all Sir Roger's fervants, except 
 fuch as it was a relief to difmifs into little beings with- 
 in my manour : Thofe who are in a lift of the good 
 knight's own hand to be taken care of by me, I have 
 quartered upon fuch as have taken new leafes of me, 
 and added fo many advantages during the lives of 
 the perfons fo quartered, that it is the intereft of 
 thofe whom they are joined with, to cherifli and be- 
 friend them upon all occafions. I find a confidera- 
 ble fum of ready money, which I am laying out a- 
 mong my dependents at the common intereft, but 
 with a defign to lend it according to their merit, ra- 
 ther than according to their ability. 1 (hall lay a tax 
 upon fuch as I have highly obliged, to become fecuri- 
 ty to me for fuch of their own poor youth, whether 
 male or female, as want help towards getting into 
 fome being in the world. I, hope I fhall be able to ma- 
 nage my affairs fo, as to improve my fortune every 
 year by doing acts of kindnefs. I will lend my mo- 
 ney to the ufe of none but indigent men, fecured by 
 fuch as have ceafed to be indigent by the favour of my 
 family or myfelf. What makes this the more practi- 
 cable, is, that if they will do any one good with my 
 money, they are welcome to it upon their own fecu- 
 
 ' rity: 
 
N°'544- T HE SPECTATOR. 283 
 
 * rity : and I make no exception againft it,becaufe the 
 ' perfons who enter into the obligations, do it for their 
 
 * own family. I have laid out four thoufand pounds this 
 
 * way, and it is not to be imagined what a croud of peo- 
 
 * pie are obliged by it. In cafes where Sir Roger has 
 
 * recommended, I have lent money to put out children, 
 
 * with a claufe which makes void the obligation, in cafe 
 
 * the infant dies before he is out of his apprenticeship ; 
 
 * by which means the kindred and mailers are extreme- 
 
 * ly careful of breeding him to induftry, that he may re- 
 4 pay it himfelf by his labour, in three years journey- 
 < work after his time is out,. for the ufeof his fecurities. 
 
 * Opportunities of this kind are all that have occurred 
 ' fince I came to my ellate, but I allure you I will pre- 
 
 * fcrve a conllant difpofition to catch at all the occafi- 
 ' ons I can to promote the good and happinefs of my 
 ' neighbourhood. 
 
 i BUT give me leave to lay before you a little efta- 
 ' bliihment which has grown out of my pall life, that, 
 ' I doubt not, will adminifter great fatisfaclion to me 
 ' in that part of it, whatever that is, which is to came. 
 
 * THERE is a prejudice in favour of the way of 
 ' life to which a man has been educated, which I kno\y 
 1 not whether it would not be faulty to overcome: it is 
 ' like a partiality to the interefl of one's own country 
 i before that of any other nation, It is from an habit 
 ' of thinking, grown upon me from my youth fpent in 
 ' arms, that I have ever held gentlemen, who have pre- 
 ' ferved modelly, good-nature, jullice and humanity 
 ' in a foldier's life, to be the moft valuable and worthy 
 
 * perfons of human race. To pafs through imminent 
 ' dangers, fuffer painful watchings, frightful alarms, 
 
 * and laborious marches for the greater part of a man's 
 ' time, and pafs the reft in fobriety conformable to the 
 
 * rules of the moft virtuous civil life, is a merit too 
 ' great to deferve the treatment it ufually meets with 
 ' among the other part of the world. But I allure you, 
 
 * Sir, were there not very many who have this worth, 
 ' we could never have feen the glorious events which 
 ( we have in our days. I need not fay more to illu- 
 ' Urate the character of a foldier, than to tell you he 
 
 * is the very contrary to him you obferve loud, faucy, 
 
 1 ' and 
 
2S4 THE SPECTATOR. N° 544. 
 
 * and over-bearing in a red coat about town. But I 
 
 * was going to tell you, that in honour of the profef- 
 ' lion of arms, I have let apart a certain fum of money 
 ' for a table for fuch gentlemen as have ferved their 
 ' country in the army, and will pleafe from time to time 
 ' to foj'jurn all, or any part of the year, at Coverley. 
 
 * Such of them as will do me that honour, lhall find 
 
 * horfes, fervants, and all things neceilary for their ac- 
 4 commodation, and enjoyment of all the convenien- 
 ' cies of life in a pleafant various country. If colonel 
 ' Camperfelt be in town, and his abilities are not em- 
 ' ployed another way in the fervice, there is no man 
 4 would be more welcome here. That gentleman's tho- 
 
 * rough knowiege in his profeflion, together with the 
 ' fimpl.city of his manners, and goodnefs of his -heart, 
 1 would ind-uce others like him to honour my abode; 
 ■ and I fhould be glad my acquaintance would take 
 
 * themfelves to be invited or not, as their characters 
 ' have an affinity to his. 
 
 * I WOULD have all my friends know, that they 
 ' need not fear (though I am become a country gentle- 
 4 man) I will trefpafs againft their temperance and fo- 
 
 * briety. No, Sir, I mall retain fd much of the good 
 
 * fentiments for the conduct of life, which we cultivat- 
 ' ed in each other at our club? as to contemn all inor- 
 dinate pleafures: But particularly remember, with 
 
 * our beloved Tully, that the delight in food confiftsin 
 ' defire not fatiety. They who moft paffionately purfue 
 ' pleafure, feldomeft arrive at it. Ts'ow I am writing to 
 ' a philofopher, I cannot forbear mentioning the fatis~ 
 ' faction I took in the pafTage I read yeflcrday in the 
 
 * fame Tully. A nobleman of Athens made a compli- 
 i ment to Plato the morning after he had fupped at his 
 ' houfe, Tour entertainments do not only pleafe when yo'u 
 ' give them , but alfo the day after. 
 
 lam. My 'worthy friend, 
 
 Your rnofl obedient humble fervar.tr 
 
 T WilliamS e n t r t . 
 
 Tuefday, 
 
N° 545. Tuefday, November 25. 
 
 Qu'tn potius pacem aetcrnam pa fl of que hymenaeos 
 
 Exercemus Virg. JEn. 4. v. 99. 
 
 Let us promote eternal peace, and join 
 In Hymen's facred bands with rites divine. 
 
 I CANNOT but think the following letter from the 
 emperor of China to the pope of Rome, propofing 
 a coalition of theChinefeand Roman churches, will 
 be acceptable to the curious. I mull confefs, I myfelf be- 
 ing of opinion that the emperor has as much authority 
 to be interpreter to him he pretends to expound, as the 
 pope has to be vicar of the facred perfon he takes upon 
 him to reprefeht, I was not a little pleafed with their 
 treaty of alliance. What progrefs the negotiation be- 
 tween his majefty of Rome and his holinefs of China 
 makes (as we daily writers fay upon fubjects where we 
 are at a lofs) time will let us know. In the mean time, 
 fince they agree in the fundamentals of power and au- 
 thority, and differ only in matters of faith, we may ex- 
 peel the matter will go on without difficulty. 
 
 Copia di littera del Re deila China al Papa, interpre- 
 tata dal Padre Segretario dell' India della com- 
 pagna di Giefu. 
 
 A voi benedetto fopra i benedetti PP> ed ' interpret atore 
 grande de pontifici e paftore Xmo difpenfatore dell' og~ 
 Ho de i d' Europe Clement e XI. 
 
 I 
 
 L Favorito amico di Dio Gionata 7 Potentifhmo 
 »_ fopra tutti i potentiflimi della terra, Altiffimo fopra 
 tutti gl' Altiflimi fotto il fole e la luna, che fude nella 
 fede di fmeraldo della China fopra cento fcalini d'oro, 
 ad interpretare la lingua di Dio a tutti i defcendenti 
 fedeli d' Abramo, che de la vita e la morte a cento quin- 
 
 * dici 
 
286 THE SPECTATOR. N°J45. 
 
 * dici regni, ed a cento fettante Ifole, fcrive con la pen- 
 
 * na dello Struzzo vergine, e manda falute ed accreli- 
 ' mento di vechiezza. 
 
 ' ESS END O arrivato il tempo in cui il fiore della 
 
 * reale noftro gioventu deve maturare i Frutti della no- 
 ' lira vecluezza, e confortare con quell' i defiderii de i 
 
 * populi noftri divoti, epropogare il femedi quellapian- 
 
 * ta che deve proteggerli, habbiamo Stabilito d'accom- 
 ' pagnarci con una virgine eccelfa ad amorofa allatata al- 
 ' la mammella della leonelfa forte e dell' Agnella man- 
 ' fueta. Percio elTendo ci ftato figurato fempre il voflro 
 ' popnlo Europeo Romano per paefe di donne invitte, 
 ' i forte, e chafte; allongiamo la noftra mano potente, 
 i a ftringere una di loro, e quefta fara una voflro nipote, 
 
 * o nipote di qualche altrograri facerdote Latino, che li 
 
 * a quardata dail' occhio dritto diDio, fara feminata in 
 4 lei 1' Autorita di Sarra, la Fedelta d'Efther, e la Sapi- 
 
 * enza di Abba ; la vogliamo con l'occhio che guarda ii 
 
 * ciclo, e la terre, e con la bocca dello Conchiglia che 
 
 * fi pafce della ruggiada del matino. La fua eta non 
 
 * paffi ducento corli della Luna, la fua ftatura fia alta 
 
 * quanto la fpicca dritta del grano verde, e la fua grof- 
 
 * fezza quanto unmanipolodi grano fecco. NoLla man- 
 
 * daremmo a veftire per li noftri mandatici Ambafci- 
 ' adori, e chi la conduranno a noi, e noi incontrarem- 
 ' mo alia riva del fiume grande facendola falire fuo no- 
 ' ftro cocchio. Ella potra adorare aprelTo di noi il fuo 
 
 * Dio, con venti quatro altre a fua ellezione, e protra 
 
 * cantare con loro come la Tortora alia Primavera. 
 
 'SODISFANDOnoi Padre-e amico noftro quefta 
 
 * noftra brama, farete caggione di unire in perpetua a» 
 
 * micitia cotefti voftri regni d' Europa al noftro domi- 
 1 nante imperio, e fi abbraecirannole noftri leggi come 
 
 * l'edera abbraccia la pianta, e noi medefemi Spargeremo 
 ' del noftro feme reale in cotefteProvincei, rifcaldando 
 
 * i letti di voftri Principi con il fuoco amorofo delle no- 
 4 ftre Amazoni, d'alcune della quali i noftri mandatici 
 
 * ambafciadori vi porteranno le Somiglianza depinte. 
 
 * V.Confirmiamo ditenereinpaceledue.buone religiofe 
 
 * famiglie delli Miflionarii gli' Figlioli* d'Ignazio, e li 
 
 * bianchie neri figlioli diDominico il cui configlio degl' 
 
 * uni edegl' altri ci ferve di fcorta del noftro regimento 
 
 * e 
 
N°545- THE SPECTATOR. 287 
 
 * e di lume ad interpretare le divine legge come apun- 
 
 * &o fa lumel'oglioche figettain Mare. IntantoAlzan- 
 ' doci dqi noftro Trono per Abbracciarvi, vi di chiaria- 
 ' mo noftro conguinto e confederato, ed ordiniamo che 
 ' quelto fogiio fia fegnato col noftro fegno imperiale 
 ' dalla noftra citta, capo del rnondo, il quinto giorno 
 
 * dellaterzalunationel'anno quarto del noftro imperio. 
 
 'SIGILLOeun fole nelle cui faccia e anche quel- 
 
 < la della Luna ed intorno tra i Raggi vi fono trapofte 
 
 * alcune Spada. 
 
 ' DICO ill Traduttore che fecondo il Ceremonial di 
 
 < quefto Lettere e recedentiflimo fpecialmente FefTere 
 
 * fcritto con la penna dello Struzzo virgine con "la 
 ' quella non fogliofi fcrivere quei Re che le pregiere a 
 
 * Dio e fcrivendo a qualche altro a Principe del Mon- 
 ' do, la maggior Finezza che ufino, e fcrivergli con 
 
 * la penna del Pavone. 
 
 A letter from the emperor of China to the pope, inter- 
 preted by a father Jefuit, fecretary of the Indies. 
 
 To you blejfed above the blejfed, great emperor ofbi- 
 fbops, and pajlor of chriftians> difpenfer of the oil of 
 the kings of Europe, Clement XI. 
 
 * HT^HE favourite friend of God Gionetta the Vllth, 
 ' J_ moft powerful above the moft powerful of the 
 ' earth, higheft above the higheft under the fun and 
 ' moon, who fits on a throne of Emerald of China, a- 
 ' bove 1 00 fteps of gold, to interpret the language of 
 
 * God to the faithful, and who gives life and death to 
 
 * 115 kingdoms, and iyoifiands; he writes with the 
 « quill of aVirginOftrich, and fends health and increafe 
 
 * of old age. 
 
 < BEING arrived at the time of our age, in which 
 
 * the flower of our royal youth ought to ripen into fruit 
 1 towards old age, to comfort therewith the defire of 
 
 * our devoted people, and to propagate the feed of that 
 ' plant which muft protect them ; We have determined 
 
 * to accompany ourfelves with an high amorous virgin, 
 1 fuckledat the breaftof awildlionefs, and a meek lamb; 
 ' and imagining with ourfelves that your European Ro- 
 
 < man 
 
THE SPECTATOR. N°$45- 
 
 man people is the father of many unconquerable and 
 chafte ladies, We flretch out our powerful arm to 
 embrace one of them, and me (hall be one of your 
 neices, or the neiceof fome other great Latin prieft, 
 the darling of God's right eye. Let the authority 
 of Sarah be fown in her, the fidelity of Efther, and 
 the wifdom of Abba. We would have her eye like 
 that of a dove, which may look upon heaven and 
 earth, with the mouth of a fhell-fiih to feed upon the 
 dew of the morning ; Her age mud not exceed 200 
 courfes of the moon ; let her ftature be equal to that 
 of an ear of green corn, and her girth a handful. 
 
 * WE will fend our mandarines ambafiadors to 
 clothe her, and to conduct her to us, and we will 
 meet her on the bank of the great river, making her 
 to leap up into our chariot. She may with us wor- 
 fhip her own god ; together with twenty four vir- 
 gins of her own choofing; and fhe may fing with 
 them as the turtle in the fpring. You, O father and 
 friend, complying with this our defire, may be an 
 occafion of uniting in perpetual friendfhip our high 
 empire with your European kingdoms, and we may 
 embrace your laws, as the ivory embraces the tree; 
 and we ourfelves may fcatter our royal blood into 
 your provinces, warming the chief of your princes 
 with the amorous fire of our Amazons, the refem- 
 bling pictures of fome of which our faid mandarines 
 ambaffadors fhall convey to you. 
 
 * WE exhort you to keep in peace two good religi- 
 ous families of mifnonariesj the black fons of Igna- 
 tius, and the white and black fons of Dominicus ; 
 that the counfel, both of the one and the other, may 
 ferve as a guide to us in our government, and a light 
 to interpret the divine law, as the oil caft into the 
 fea produces light. 
 
 ' To conclude, we rifing up in our throne to em- 
 brace you, we declare you our ally and confederate ; 
 and have ordered this leaf to be fealed with our im- 
 perial fignet, in our royal city the head of the world, 
 the 8th day of the third lunation, and the 4th year 
 of our reign. 
 
 LET- 
 
K° 546. THE SPECTATOR. 289 
 
 LETTERS from Rome fay, the whole converfation 
 hoth among gentlemen and ladies has turned upon the 
 iubjedt of this epiftle, ever fince it arrived. The Jefuit 
 who tranflated it fays, it lofes much of the majefty of 
 -the original in the Italian. It feems there was an offer 
 of the fame nature made by a predeceflor of the prefent 
 emperor to Lewis the XHIth of France, but no lady of 
 •that court would take the voyage, that fex not being at 
 that time fo much ufed in politic negotiations. The 
 jnannerof treating the pope is> according to the Chinefe 
 ■ceremonial , very refpectful : For the emperor writes to 
 him with the quill of a virgin Oftrich, which was ne- 
 ver ufed before but in writing prayers. Inftruclions are 
 preparing for the lady who mall have fo much zeal as 
 to undertake this pilgrimage, and be an emprefs for 
 the lake of her religion. The principal of the Indian 
 miffionaries has given in a lift of the reigning fins in 
 China, in order to prepare indulgences necelfary to 
 this lady and her retinue, in advancing the interefts of 
 •the Roman catholic religion in thofe kingdoms. 
 
 71s the Spectator-General. 
 
 May it pleafe your honour •, 
 * T HAVE of late feen French hats of a prodigious 
 ' JL magnitude pafs by my obfervatory. 
 
 T John Sly, 
 
 N° 546. Wedmfday^ 'November 26. 
 
 Omnia patefachnda, ul ne quid omnino quod venditor 
 nority emptor ignoret. TuII. 
 
 Every thing Jhould be fairly told, that the buyer may 
 not be ignorant of any thing which the feller knovjs- 
 
 IT gives me very great fcandal to obferve, wherever 
 I go, howmuch (kill, in buying all manner of goods, 
 there is necelfary to defend yourfelf from being 
 cheated in whatever you fee expofed to fale. My read- 
 VOL. VII. N injr 
 
■soo THE SPECTATOR. N° 546. 
 
 ing makes fuch a ftrong impreffion upon me, that I 
 mould think myfelf a cheat in my way, if I mould tran- 
 flate any thing from another tongue, and not acknow- 
 lege it to my readers. I underftood from common re- 
 port, that Mr. Gibber was introducing a French play 
 upon our ftage, and thought myfelf concerned to let the 
 town know what was his, and what was foreign. When 
 I came to the rehearfal, I found the houfe fo partial to 
 one of their own fraternity, that they gave every thing 
 which was faid fuch grace, emphafis, and force in their 
 action, that it was no eafy matter to make any judgment 
 of the performance. Mrs. Oldfield, who, it feems, is the 
 heroic daughter, had fo jult a conception of her part, 
 that her action made what (he fpoke appear decent, j uft, 
 and noble. The paffions of terror and compaflion, they 
 made me believe were very artfully railed, and the 
 whole conduct of the play artful and furprifing. We 
 authors do not much relifh the endeavours of players in 
 this kind; but have the fame difdain as phyiicians and 
 lawyers have when attorneys and apothecaries give 
 advice. Gibber himfelf took the liberty to tell me, that, 
 he expected I would do him juftice, and allow the play 
 well prepared for his fpectators, whatever it was for his 
 readers. He added very many particulars not uncuri- 
 ous concerning the manner of taking an audience, and 
 laying wait not only for their fuperficial applaufe, but 
 alio for inflnuating into their affections and paffions, by 
 the artful management of the look, voice and gefture 
 of the fpeaker. 1 could not but confent that the heroic 
 daughter appeared in the rehearfal amoving entertain- 
 ment wrought out of a great and exemplary virtue. 
 
 THE advantages of action, fhow and drefs on thefe 
 occafions are allowable, becaufe the merit confifts in be- 
 ing capable of impofing upon us to our advantage and 
 entertainment. All that I was going to fay about the ho- 
 nefty an author in the fale of his ware, was that he ought 
 to own all that he had borrowed from others, and lay in 
 a clear light all that he gives his fpectators for their 
 money, with an account of the firft manufacturers. But I 
 intended to give the lecture of this day upon the com- 
 mon and proftituted behaviour of traders in ordinary 
 
 com- 
 
NO 546. THE SPECTATOR. 291 
 
 •commerce. The philofopher made It a rule of trade, 
 that your profit ought to be the common profit ; and it 
 is unjuft to make any ftep towards gain, wherein the 
 gain of even thofe to whom you fell is not alfo confult- 
 ed. A man may deceive himfelf if he thinks fit, but he 
 is no better than a cheat who fells any thing without 
 telling the exceptions againft it, as well as what is to 
 be faid to its advantage. The fcandalous abufe of lan- 
 guage and hardening of confeience, which may be ob« 
 lerved every day in going from one place to another, 
 is what makes a whole city to an unprejudiced eye a 
 den of thieves. It was no fmall pleafure to me for 
 this reafon to remark, as I pafTed by Cornhill, that the 
 (hop of that worthy, honeft, tho' lately unfortunate, 
 citizen, Mr. John Morton, fo well known in the linen 
 trade, is fitting up anew. Since a man has been in 
 a diftrefTed condition, it ought to be a great fatisfacli- 
 •on to have pafTed thro' it in fuch a manner as not to 
 have loft the friendfhip of thofe who fuffered with him, 
 but to receive an honourable acknowlegement of his 
 honefty from thofe very perfons to whom the law had 
 configned his eftate. 
 
 THE misfortune of this citizen is like to prove of 
 a very general advantage to thofe who (hall deal with 
 him hereafter: for the ftock with which he now fets 
 up being the loan of his friends, he cannot expofe that 
 to the hazard of giving credit, but enters into a ready- 
 money trade, by which means he will both buy and 
 fell the beft and cheapeft. He impofes upon himfelf 
 a rule of affixing the value of each piece he fells to the 
 piece itfelf; fo that the moft ignorant fervant or child 
 will be as good a buyer at his fhop as the moft fkilful 
 in the trade. For all which, you have all his hopes 
 and fortune for your fecurity. To encourage dealing 
 after this way, there is not only the avoiding the moft 
 infamous guilt in ordinary bartering ; but this obferva- 
 tion, That he who buys with ready money, faves as 
 much to his family, as the ftate exacts out of his land 
 for the fecurity and fervice of his country; that is to 
 fay, in plain Englifh, iixteen will do as much as twen- 
 ty millings. 
 
 N 2 Mr, 
 
292 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. N° 546. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 MY heart is fo fwelled with grateful fentiments 
 on account of fome favours which I have late- 
 ly received, that I muft beg leave to give them utte- 
 rance amongft the croud of other anonymous corre- 
 fpondents ; and writing, 1 hope, will be as great a re- 
 lief to my forced filence, as it is to your natural ta- 
 citurnity — My generous benefactor will not fuffer me 
 to fpeak to him in any terms of aknowlegement, but 
 ever treats me as if he had the greateft obligations, 
 and ufes me with a diftinction that is not to be ex- 
 pected from one fo much my fuperior in fortune, 
 years, and underflanding. He infinuates, as if I had 
 a certain right to his favours from fome merit, which 
 his particular indulgence to me has difcovered; but 
 that is only a beautiful artifice to leffen the pain an 
 honeft mind feels in receiving obligations, when 
 there is no probability of returning them. 
 ' A GIFT is doubled when accompanied with fuch 
 a delicacy of addrefs ; but what to me gives it an in- 
 expreflible value, is its coming from the man I moft 
 efteem in the world It pleafes me indeed, as it is 
 an advantage and addition to my fortune; but when 
 I confider it as an inftance of that good man's friend- 
 fhip, it overjoys, it tranfports me ; I look on it with 
 a lover's eye, and no longer regard the gift, but the 
 hand that gave it. For my friendfhip is fo intire- 
 ly void of any gainful views, that it often gives me 
 pain to think it fhould have been chargeable to him; 
 and I cannot at fome melancholy hours help doing 
 his generofity the injury of fearing it fhould cool on 
 this account, and that the laft favour might be a fort 
 of legacy of a departing friendfhip. 
 ' I CONFESS thefe fears feem very groundlefs and 
 unjuff, but you muft forgive them to the apprehen- 
 fion of one poflefTed of a great treafure, who is fright- 
 ed at the moft diftant fhadow of danger. 
 * SINCE I have thus far opened my heart to you, 
 I will not conceal the fecret fatisfaction I feel thereof 
 knowing the goodnefs of my friend will not be un- 
 
 * re- 
 
N°547- THE SPECTATOR. 293 
 
 ' rewarded. I am pleafed with thinking the provi- 
 ' dence of the Almighty hath fufficient bleflings in (tore., 
 ' for him, and will certainly difcharge the debt, tho' 
 ' J am not made the happy inftrument of doing it. 
 
 ' HOWEVER nothing in my power (hall be want- 
 ' ing to (hew my gratitude; I will make it thebufinefs 
 ' of my life to thank him, and mail efteem (next to 
 ' him) thofe my beft friends, who give me the great- 
 ' eft affiftance in this good work. Printing this letter 
 ' would be fome little inftance of my gratitude; and 
 ' your favour herein will very much oblige 
 
 Nov. 24. 
 
 Your moji humble few ant, etc. 
 
 W. C. 
 
 N° 547. Thurfday, November 27. 
 
 Si vulnus tibi, monflrata radice vel herba, 
 Non fieret levius, fugeres radice vel herb a 
 Proficiente nihil curarier — Hor. Ep. 2.1. 2. v. 149- 
 
 Suppofe you had a wound, and one had /how' 'd. 
 
 An herb, which you apply' d, but found, no good ; 
 
 Would you be fond of this, increafe your pain, 
 
 And ufe thefruitlefs remedy again ? Creech. 
 
 IT is very difficult to praife a man without putting 
 him out of countenance. My following correfpon- 
 dent has found out this uncommon art, and together 
 with his friends, has celebrated fome of my fpeculations 
 after fuch a concealed but divertingmanner, that jf any 
 of my readers think I am to blame in publiihing my 
 own commendations, they will allow I mould have de- 
 ferved their cenfure as much, had I fupprefi'ed the hu- 
 mour in which they are conveyed to me. 
 
 N 3 5 / R, 
 
294 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 N°* 4 7* 
 
 S I R y 
 
 I AM often in a private aflembly of wits of both 
 fexes, where we generally defcant upon your fpe- 
 culations, or upon the fubjec"ts on which" you have 
 treated. We were laft Tuefday talking of thofe two 
 volumes which you have lately publifhed. Some were 
 commending one of your papers, and fome another; 
 and there was fcarce a fingle perfon in the company 
 that had not a favourite fpectilation. Upon this 
 a man of wit and learning told us, he thought it 
 would not be amifs, if we paid the Spectator the 
 fame compliment that is often made in our public 
 prints to Sir William Read, Dr. Grant, Mr. Moor 
 the apothecary, and other eminent phyficians, where 
 it is ufual for the patients to publifh the cures which 
 have been made upon them, and the feveral diftem- 
 pers under which they laboured. The propofal took, 
 and the lady where we vifited having the two laft 
 volumes in large paper interleaved for her own pri- 
 vate ufe, ordered them to be brought down, and laid 
 in the window, whither every one in the company 
 retired, and writ down a particular advertifement 
 in the ftile and phrafe of the like ingenious compo- 
 sitions which we frequently meet with at the end of 
 our news-papers. When we had finifhed our work, 
 we read them with a great deal of mirth at the fire- 
 fide, and agreed, Nemlne contradiceute-, to get them 
 tranfcribed, and fent to the Spectator. The gentle- 
 man who made the propofal entered the following 
 advertifement before the title-page, after which the 
 reft fucceeded in order. 
 
 < RE MEDIUM efficax et miiverfum; or, An ef- 
 fectual remedy adapted to all capacities ; fhewing how 
 any perfon may curehimfelf of ill-nature, pride, par- 
 ty-fpleen, or any other diftemper incident to the hu- 
 man fyftem, with an eafy way to know when the in- 
 fection is upon him. This panacea is as innocent as 
 bread, agreeable to the tafte, and requires no confine- 
 ment. It has not its equal in the univerfe> as abun- 
 
 ' dance 
 
N° 547. THE SPECTATOR, 295 
 
 ' dance of the nobility and gentry throughout the 
 ( kingdom have experienced. 
 
 N. B. ' No family ought to be without it. 
 
 Over the two Spectators on Jealoufy, being the twofirfl 
 in the third volume. 
 
 * I W I L L I A M C R A Z Y , aged threefcore and 
 i feven, having been for feveral years affiicled with un- 
 
 * eafy doubts, fears and vapours, occafloned by the 
 ' youth and beauty of Mary my wife, aged twenty five, 
 
 * do hereby for the benefit of the public give notice, 
 1 that I have found great relief from the two following 
 
 * dofes, have taken them two mornings together with 
 
 * a difh of chocolate. Witnefs my hand, etc. 
 
 For the benefit of the poor. 
 
 * IN charity to fuch as are troubled with the dif- 
 * eafe of levee-hunting, and are forced to feek their 
 
 i bread every morning at the chamber-doors of great 
 
 * men; I A. B. do teftify, that for many years paft I 
 
 * laboured under this fafhionable diftemper, but was 
 1 cured of it by a remedy which I bought of Mrs. Bald- 
 ' win? contained in a half-iheet of paper, marked 
 1 N° 193, where any one may be provided with the 
 ' fame remedy at the price of a Angle penny. 
 
 ' AN infallible cure for Hypochondriac Melancho- 
 i ly,N° 173. 184. 191. 203. 209. 221. 233. 235. 239. 
 
 * 245.247.251. 
 
 Probatum eft. Charles Eafy. 
 
 <■ I CHRISTOPHER QUERY, having been 
 
 * troubled with a certain diftemper in my tongue, which 
 
 * fhewed itfelf in impertinent and fuperfluous interro- 
 ' gatories,have not allied one unnecefiary queftion fince 
 
 * my perufal of the prefcription marked N° 228. 
 
 ' THE Britannic Beautifier, being an efiay on mo- 
 
 * delty,N°23l. which gives fuch a delightful blufliing 
 
 N 4 < colour 
 
296 THE' SPECTATOR. N° 547. 
 
 * colour to the cheeks of thofe that are white or pale, 
 
 * that it is not to be diflinguifhed from a natural fine 
 ' complexion, nor perceived to be artificial by the 
 
 * neareft friend: Is nothing of paint, or in the lead 
 4 hurtfuh It renders the face delightfully handfom; is 
 
 * not fubject to be rubbed off, and cannot be parallel- 
 
 * ed by either warn, powder, cofmetic,,f/r. It is certain- 
 
 * ly the heft beautifier in the world. 
 
 Martha Gloworm. 
 
 ' I SAMUEL SELF, of the parifh of St. James's, 
 having a conflitution which naturally abounds with 
 ' acids, made ufe of a paper of directions marked N°- 
 i 177. recommending a healthful exercife called Good- 
 ' Nature, and have found it a molt excellent fweetner 
 ' of the bloods 
 
 'WHEREAS I, Elizabeth Rainbow, was troubled 
 
 * with that diftemper in my head, which about a year 
 
 * ago was pretty epidemical among the ladies, and dif- 
 
 * covered itfelf in the colour of their hoods, having 
 ' made ufe of the doctor's cephalic tincture, which he 
 
 * exhibited to the public in one of his l'aft year's pa- 
 1 pers, I recovered in a very few days. 
 
 ' I GEORGE GLOOM, having for a long time 
 
 ' been troubled with the fpleen, and being advifed by 
 
 * my friends to put myfelf into a courfe of Steele, did 
 
 * for that end make ufe of remedies conveyed to me fe- 
 
 * veral mornings, in lhort letters, from the hands of the 
 
 * invifible doctor. They were marked at the bottom 
 ' Nathaniel Henrooft, Alice Threadneedle, Rebecca 
 ' Nettletop, Tom Lovelefs, Mary Meanwell, Thomas 
 ' Smoaky, Anthony Freeman, Tom Meggot, Ruftick 
 
 * Sprightly, etc. which have had fo good an effect up- 
 ' on me, that I now find myfelf chearful, lightfom and 
 
 * eafy ; and therefore do recommend them to all fuch 
 
 * as labour under the fame diftemper. 
 
 NOT having room to infert all the advertifements 
 •which were fent me, I have only picked out fome few 
 
 from 
 
N© 548. THE SPECTATOR. 297 
 
 from the third volume, referving the fourth for another 
 opportunity. U 
 
 N° 548. Friday, November 28. 
 
 Vitiis nemo fine nafcitur, optimum Me 
 
 Qui minimis urgetur Hor. Sat. 3. 1. 1. v. 63. 
 
 There' 's none but has fome fault, and he's the befi> 
 Mofi virtuous he j that's /potted with the leajl. 
 
 Crkech. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, Nov. 27, 1712. 
 
 1 If AVE read this day's paper with a great deal of 
 pleafure, and could fend you an account of feve- 
 ral elixirs and antidotes in your third volume, 
 which your correfpondents have not taken notice of in 
 their advertifements : and at the fame time muft own 
 to you, that I have feldomfeen a (hop furnifhed with 
 fuch a variety of medicaments, and in which there 
 are fewer foporifics. The feveral vehicles you have 
 invented for conveying yonr unacceptable truths to us, 
 are what I mod particularly admire, as I am afraid they 
 are fecrets which will die with you. I dx> not find that 
 any of your critical effays are takennotice of in this pa- 
 per, notwithstanding I look upon them to be excellent 
 cleanfers of the brain, and could venture to fuperfcribe 
 them with an advertifement which I have lately feen in 
 one of our news-papers, wherein there is an account 
 given of a fovereign remedy for reftoring the taite of all 
 fuchperfons whofe palates have been vitiated by diftem- 
 pers, unwholfom food, or any the like occafions. But 
 to let fall the allufion, notwithstanding yous criticifms, 
 and particularly the candour which you have-difcoverecf 
 in them, are not the leaft taking partof your works, I 
 find your opinion concerning Poetical Juftice, as ijt is 
 cxprelTed in the firfl; part of vour fortieth Spectator, is 
 N £ ton.- 
 
2 oS THE SPECTATOR. NOj 4 S. 
 
 controverted by fome eminent critics ; and as you now 
 feem, to our great grief of heart, to be winding up 
 your bottoms, I hoped you would have enlarged a little 
 upon that fubjecl. It is indeed but a ilngle paragraph 
 in your works, and I believe thofe who have read it 
 with the fame attention I have done,, will think there is 
 nothing to be objected againft it. I have however 
 drawn up fome additional arguments to ftrengthen the 
 opinion which you hive there delivered, having en- 
 deavoured to go to the bottom of that matter, which 
 you may either publifh or fupprefs as you think fit. 
 ' HORACE in my motto fays, that all men are vi- 
 
 * cious, and that they differ from one another, only as 
 f they are more or lefs fo. Boileau has given the fame 
 ' account of our wifdom, as Horace has of our virtue. 
 
 To us les hommes font fous, et, malgrs tons leurs foins. 
 Ne different entre eux, que duplus et du mains . 
 
 All men, fays he, are fools, and in fpite of their endea- 
 vours to the contrary? differ from one another only as 
 they are more or lefs fo. 
 
 " TWO or three of the old Greek poets have given 
 ' the fame turn to a fentence which defcribes thehap- 
 " pinefs of man in this life; 
 
 To £w clKvTrcci, a,v£p& \$w zurvyjs. 
 
 That man is molt happy who is the lead miferabl'e. ' It 
 
 * will not perhaps be unentertaining to the polite rea- 
 
 * der to obferve how thefe three beautiful fentences are 
 
 * formed upon different fubje&s by the fame way of 
 1 thinking ; but I mall return to the firft. of them. 
 
 f OUR goodnefs being of a comparative, and not an 
 ' abfolute nature, there is none who in ftriclnefscanbe 
 ' called a virtuous man. Every one has in him. a natu- 
 
 * ral alloy, tho' one may be fuller of drofs than ano- 
 
 * then For this reafon I cannot think it right to in- 
 ' troduce a perfect or a faulrlefs man upon the ftage; 
 c not only beeaufe fuch a character is improper to move 
 
 * companion; but beeaufe there is no fuch thing in.na- 
 
 <• tuxev 
 
N°54 8 - THE SPECTATOR. 
 
 299 
 
 ture. This might probably be one reafon why the 
 Spectator in one of his papers took notice of that 
 late invented term called Poetical Juftice, and the 
 wrong notions into which it has led fome tragic 
 writers The moil perfect man has vices enough to 
 draw down puniihments upon his head, and to jufti- 
 fy providence in regard to any miferies that may be- 
 fal him. For this reafon I cannot think, but that the 
 inltruction and moral are much finer, where a man 
 who is virtuous in the main of his character falls into 
 diftrefs, and finks under the blows of fortune at the 
 end of a tragedy, than when he is reprefented as 
 happy and triumphant, Such an example corrects 
 the infolence of human nature, foftens the mind of 
 the beholder with fentiments of pity and compani- 
 on, comforts him under his own private affliction, 
 and teaches him not to judge of mens virtues by their 
 fuccefTes. I cannot think of one tealhero in ail an- 
 tiquity fo far raifed above human infirmities, that he 
 might not be very naturally reprefented in a tragedy 
 as plunged in misfortunes and calamities. The poet. 
 may (till find out fome prevailing pafllon or indifcre- 
 tion in his character, and fhew it in fuch a manner, 
 as willfufriciently acquit the gods of any injuftice in 
 his furlerings. For as Horace obferves in my text, 
 the beft man is faulty, though not in fo great a degree 
 as thcfe whom we generally call vicious men. 
 ' IF fuch a flrict poetical juftice, as fome gentlemen 
 infift upon, was to be obferved in this art, there is 
 no manner of reafon why it fhould not extend to he- 
 roic poetry, as well as tragedy. But we find it fo 
 little obferved in Homer, that his Achilles is placed 
 in the greateft point of glory and fuccefs,tho' his cha- 
 racter is morally vicious, and only poetically good, 
 if I may ufe the phrafe of our modern critics. The 
 iEneid is filled with innocent, unhappy peifons. 
 Nifus andEuryalus,Laufus and Pallas come all to un- 
 fortunate ends. The poet takes notice in particu- 
 lar, that in the racking of Troy, Ripheus fell; who 
 was the moil juft man among the Trojans. 
 
 ddlt 
 
?foo THE S P E G T A T O K. N<> 548. 
 
 Cadit et Ripbeus jiijlifimus unus. 
 
 Qui futt in Teucris, et fervantijfimus aequi : 
 
 Diis aliier vifum eji • JLn. 2. v. 427. 
 
 : And that Pantheus could neither be prefervedby his 
 4 tranfcendent piety, nor by the holy fillets of Apollo, 
 4 whofe prieft he was. 
 
 • nee te tua plurima, Pantbeu, 
 
 haberifim pietas, nee Apollinis infula texit. 
 
 Ibid. v. 429. 
 
 ' I might here mention the practice of ancient tragic 
 ' poets, both Greek and Latin; but as this particular 
 
 * is touched upon in the paper abovementioned, I mail 
 
 * pafs it over in filence. I could produce paffages out 
 
 * of Ariftotle in favour of my opinion, and if in one 
 
 * place he fays, that an abfolutely virtuous man mould 
 ' not be reprefented as unhappy, this does not juftify 
 
 * any one who {hall think fit to bring in an abfolutely 
 4 virtuous man upon the ftage. Thofe who are ac- 
 
 * quainted with that author's way of writing, know ve- 
 1 ry well, that to take the whole extent of his fubject 
 
 * into his divifions of it,heoften makesufe of fuch cafes 
 
 * as are imaginary, and not reducible to practice : he 
 
 * himfelf declares that fuch tragedies as ended unhap- 
 
 * pily bore away the prize in theatrical' contentions, 
 ' from thofe which ended happily ; andfor the fortieth 
 « (peculation, which I am now confidering, as it has 
 
 * given reafons why thefe are more apt to pl'eafe an au- 
 ' dience, fo it only proves that thefe are generally 
 4 preferable to the other, tho' - at the fame time it af- 
 '■ firms that many excellent tragedies have and may be 
 4 written in both kinds. 
 
 ' I SHALL conclude with obferving, that though 
 ( the Spectator abovementioned is fo far againft the 
 
 * rule of poetical juftice, as to affirm, that good men 
 
 * may meet with an unhappy cataftrophe in tragedy, it 
 
 * does not fay that ill men may go off unpunifhed. 
 - The reafon for thisdiflindlion is very plain, namely, 
 ' becaufe the beft of men are vicious enough to juftify 
 *■ providence for any misfortunes andafni&ions which 
 
 4 may. 
 
NO 549. THE SPECTATOR. 301 
 
 4 may befal them, but there are many men fo criminal 
 
 * that they can have no claim or pretence to happinefs. 
 
 * The beft of men may deferve punimment, but the 
 1 worft of men cannot deferve happinefs. 
 
 N° 549. Saturday y November 29. 
 
 Quamvis digreffu veteris confufus amicij 
 
 Laudo tarn en Juv. Sat. 3. v. *» 
 
 7hd > griev'd at the departure of my friend T 
 His purpofe of retiring I commend. 
 
 I BELIEVE moS people begin the world with a re- 
 folution to withdraw from it into a ferious kind of 
 folitude or retirement, when they have made them- 
 felves eafy in it. Our unhappinefs is, that we find out 
 fome excufe or other for deferring fuch our good refo- 
 lutions till our intended retreat is cut off by death. 
 But among all kinds of people there are none who are 
 fo hard to part with the world, as thofe who are grown 
 old in the heaping up of riches. Their minds are fo 
 warped with their conftant attention to gain, that it is 
 very difficuk for them to give their fouls another bent, 
 and convert them towards thofe objects, which, though 
 they are proper for every ftage of life* are fo more e- 
 fpecially for the laft. Horace defcribes an old ufurer 
 as fo charmed with the pleafures of a country life, 
 that in order to make a purchafe he called in all his 
 money; but what was the event of it? Why, in a very 
 few days after he put it out again. I am engaged in 
 this feries of thought by a difcourfe which I had laft 
 week with my worthy friend Sir Andrew Free- 
 port, a man of fo much natural eloquence, good 
 fenfe, and probity of mind, that I always hear him with 
 a particularpleafnre. As we were fitting together, being 
 the fole remaining members of our club, Sir Andrew 
 gave me an account of the many bufy fcenes of life, in 
 
 which. 
 
302 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. N© 549. 
 
 which he had been engaged? and at the fame time reck- 
 oned up to me abundance of thofe lucky hits , which at 
 another time he would have called pieces of good for- 
 tune; but in the temper of mind he was then, he term- 
 ed them mercies, favours of providence, and bleffings 
 upon an honeft induftry. Now, fays he, you muftknow> 
 my good friend, I am fo ufed to eonfider myfelf as cre- 
 ditor and debtor, that I often ftate my accompts after 
 the fame manner with regard to heaven and my own 
 foul. In this cafe, when I look upon the debtor-fide, 
 I find fuch innumerable articles, that I want arithmetic 
 to cafl them up ; but when I look upon the creditor-fide, 
 I find little more than blank paper. Now tho' I am ve- 
 ry well fatisfied that it is not in my power to balance 
 accompts with my Maker, I am refblved however to 
 turn all my future endeavours that way. You mull 
 Jiot therefore be furprifed, my friend, if you hear that 
 I am betaking myfelf to a more thoughtful kind of life, 
 and if I meet you no more in this place. 
 
 I GOULD not but approve fo good a refolution, 
 notwithftanding the lofs I (hall fuffer by it. Sir An- 
 drew has fince explained himfelf to me more at large 
 in the following letter, which is juft come to my hands. 
 
 Good Mr. Spectator, 
 
 NOTWITHSTANDING my friends at the 
 club have always rallied me, when I have 
 talked of retiring from bufinefs, and repeated to me 
 one of my own fayings, That a Merchant kaj never 
 enough till he has got a little more ; I can now inform 
 you, that there is one in the world who thinks he has 
 enough, and is determined to pafs the remainder of 
 his life in the enjoyment of what he has. You know 
 me fo well, that I need not tell you, I mean, by the 
 enjoyments of my pofTeffions, the making of them 
 ufeful to the public. As the greateft part of my eftate 
 has been hitherto of an unfteady and volatile nature, 
 either toft upon feas.or-ftt'ctuating in funds; it is 
 now fixed and fettled in fubftantial acres and tene- 
 ments. I have removed it from the uncertainty of 
 flocks, winds and waves, and difpofed of it in a 
 
 * eon- 
 
N°549- THE SPECTATOR, 303 
 
 confiderable purchafe. This will give me great op- 
 portunity of being charitable in my way, that is in 
 fetting my poor neighbours to work, and giving them 
 a comfortable fubfiftence out of their own induftry. 
 My gardens, my fifhponds, my arable and pafture 
 grounds fhall be my feveral hofpitals, or rather 
 work-houfes, in which 1 propofe to maintain a great 
 many indigent perfons, who are now ftarving in my 
 neighbourhood. I have got a fine fpread of improve- 
 ablt lands, and in my own thoughts am already 
 plowing up fome of them, fencing others; planting 
 woods, and draining marfhes. In fine, as I have 
 my (hare in the furface of this ifland, I am refolved 
 to make it as beautiful a fpot as any in her ma- 
 jefty's dominions; at leaf! there is not an inch of 
 it which fhall not be cultivated to the belt advan- 
 tage, and do its utmoft for its owner. As in my 
 mercantile employment I fo difpofed of my affairs^ 
 that from whatever corner of the compafs the wind 
 blew, it was bringing home one or other of my fhips ; 
 I hope, as a hufbandman, to contrive it fo, that not 
 a mower of rain, or a glimpfe of fun-fhine, fhall fall 
 upon my eftate without bettering fome part of it, and 
 contributing to the products of the feafon. You know 
 it has been hitherto my opinion of life, that it is 
 thrown away when it isnotfomewayufeful to others. 
 But when I am riding out by myfelf, in die frefh air r 
 on the open heath that lies by my houfe, I find feve- 
 ral other thoughts growing up in me. I am now of 
 opinion, that a man of my age may find bufinefs e- 
 nough on himfclf, by fetting his mind in order, pre- 
 paring it for another world, and reconciling it to 
 the thoughts of death. I mult therefore acquaint 
 you, that belides thofe ufual methods of charity, of 
 which I have before fpoken, I am at this very in- 
 ftantfinding out a convenient place where I may build 
 an alms-houfe, which I intend to endow very hand- 
 fornly, for a dozen fuperannuated hufbandmen. It 
 will be a great pleafure to me to fay my prayers twice 
 a-day with men of my own years, who all of them, as 
 well as myfelf, may have their thoughts taken up 
 
 i how 
 
304 THE SPECTATOR. NO550. 
 
 ' how they (hall die, rather than how they fhall live. 
 
 * I remember an excellent faying that I learned at 
 ' fchool, Finis coronal opus. You know beft whether 
 ' it be in Virgil or in Horace, it is my bufinefs to apply 
 ' it. If your affairs will permit you to take the coun- 
 ' try air with me fometimes, you will find an apart- 
 ' ment fitted up for you, and (hall be every day enter- 
 i tained with beef or mutton of my own feeding; fifii 
 
 * out of my own ponds ; and fruit out of my own 
 ' gardens. You (hall have free egrefs and regrefs a- 
 ' bout my houfe, without having any queftions allied 
 ' you, and in a word fuch an hearty welcome as you 
 ' may expect from 
 
 Tour moji fine ere friend 
 and humble fervant, 
 
 Andrew Freeport. 
 
 THE club, of which I am a member, being intirely 
 difperfed, I fhall confult my reader next week upon a 
 project relating, to the institution of a new one. O 
 
 N° 5.50. Monday, December i. 
 
 Quid dignum tanto feret hie promijfor hiatu ? 
 
 Hor. Ars Poet. v. 138. 
 
 In what "will all this oftentation end? 
 
 Roscommon. 
 
 SINCE the late difTolution of the club whereof I 
 have often declared myfelf a member, there are 
 very many perfons who by letters, petitions and 
 recommendations, put up for the next election. At the 
 fame time I muft complain, that feveral indirect and un- 
 derhand practices have been made ufe of upon this oc- 
 
 cafioh. 
 
NO 550. THE SPECTATOR. g.05 
 
 fion. A certain country gentleman begun to tap upon 
 the iirft information he received of Sir Roger's death j 
 when he fent me up word, that if I would get him cho- 
 fen in the place of the deceafed, he would prefent me 
 with a barrel of the belt October I had ever drank in 
 my life. The ladies are in great pain to know whom 
 I intend to elect in the room of Will Honey- 
 comb. Some of them indeed are of opinion that Mr. 
 Honeycomb did not take fufficient care of their in- 
 terefts in the club? and are therefore defirous of hav- 
 ing in it hereafter a reprefentative of their own lex. 
 A citizen who fubfcribes himfelf Y. Z. tells me that he 
 has one and twenty mares in the African company, 
 and offers to bribe me with the odd one in cafe he may 
 fucceed Sir Andrew Free port, which he thinks 
 would raife the credit of that fund. I have feveral 
 letters, dated from Jenny Man's, by gentlemen who 
 are candidates for Capt. Sentry's place, and as ma- 
 ny from a coffee-houfe in Paul's church-yard of fuch. 
 who would fill up the vacancy occasioned by the death 
 of my worthy friend the sJergyman, whom I can never 
 mention but with a particular refpect. 
 
 HAVING maturely weighed thefe feveral particu- 
 lars, with the many remonftrances that have been 
 made to me on this fubject, and confidering how invi- 
 .dious an office I fhall take upon me if I make the whole 
 election depend upon my fingle voice, and being un- 
 willing to expofe myfelf to thofe clamours, which, on 
 fuch an occafion, will not fail to be railed againft me 
 for partiality, injuftice, corruption, and other quali- 
 ties which my nature abhors, I have formed to myfelf 
 the project of a club as follows. 
 
 I HAVE thoughts of ifTuing out writs to all and eve- 
 ry of the clubs that are eftablifhed in the cities of Lon- 
 don and Weftminfter, requiring them to choofeout of 
 their refpective bodies a perfon of the greateft merit, 
 and to return his name to me before Lady-day, at 
 which time I intend to fit upon bufinefs. 
 
 BY this means I may have reafon to hope, that the 
 club over which I fhall prefide will be the very flower 
 and quintefience of all other clubs. I have communi- 
 cated 
 
306 THE SPECTATOR. N°5jo. 
 
 cated this my project to none but a particular friend of 
 mine, whom I have celebrated twice or thrice for his 
 happinefs in that kind of wit which is commonly- 
 known by the name of a pun. The only objection 
 he makes to it is, that I mall raife up enemies to my- 
 felf if I act with fo regal an air, and that my detractors, 
 inftead of giving me the ufual title of Spectator, 
 will be apt to call me the king of clubs. 
 
 BUT to proceed on my intended project: It is ve- 
 ry well known that I at firft fet forth in this work with 
 the character of a filent man; and I think I have fo 
 well preferved my taciturnity, that I do not remem- 
 ber to have violated it with three fentences in the 
 fpace ofalmoft two years. As a monofyllable is my 
 delight, 1 have made very few excurfions in the con- 
 verfations which I have related, beyond a yes or a 
 no. By this means my readers have loft many good 
 things which I have had in my heart, though I did 
 not care for uttering them. 
 
 NOW in order to diverfify my character, and to 
 fhew the world how well I can talk if I have a mind, 
 I have thoughts of being very loquacious in the club 
 which I have now under consideration. But that I 
 may proceed the more regularly in this affair, I defign, 
 upon the firft meeting of the 'aid club, to have my mouth 
 opened in form ; intending to regulate myfelf in this 
 particular by a certain ritual which I have by me, that 
 contains all the ceremonies which are practifed at the 
 opening of the mouth of a cardinal. I have likewife 
 examined the forms which were ufed of old by Pytha- 
 goras, when any of his fcholars, after an apprenticefhip 
 of filence, was made free of his fpeech. In the mean 
 time, as I have of late found my name in foreign ga- 
 zettes upon lefs occafions, I queftion not but in their 
 next articles from Great-Britain, they will inform the 
 world that the Spectator's mouth is to be opened on the 
 twenty fifth of March next. I may perhaps publifh a 
 very ufeful paper at that time of the proceedings in that 
 folemnity, and of the perfons who fhall affift at it. But 
 of this more hereafter. O 
 
 Tuefday; 
 
N° 551. THE SPECTATOR. 307 
 
 N° 551. Tuefday, December 2. 
 
 Sic honor et nomen divinis vatihus atque 
 
 Carminibus venit. Hor. Ars Poet. v. 400. 
 
 So ancient is the pedigree ofverfe> 
 Andfo divine a poet's funclion. 
 
 Roscommon* 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 WHEN men of v/orthy and excellent geniufes 
 have obliged the world with beautiful and 
 inftructive writings, it is in the nature of 
 gratitude that praife fhould be returned them, as one 
 proper confequent reward of their performances. Nor 
 has mankind ever been fo degenerately funk, but they 
 have made this return, and even when they have not 
 been wrought up by the generous endeavour fo as to re- 
 ceive the advantages defigned by it. This praife? which 
 arifes firlt in the mouth of particular perfons, fpreads 
 and lafts according to the merit of authors; and when 
 it thus meets with a full fuccefs changes its denomina- 
 tion, and is called Fame. They who have happily arri- 
 ved at this, are, even while they live, inflamed by the 
 acknowlegements of others, and fpurred on to new un- 
 dertakings for the benefit of mankind, notwithstand- 
 ing the detraction which fome abject tempers would 
 call upon them : but when they deceafe, their charact- 
 ers being freed from the fhadow which Envy laid them 
 under, begin to fhine out with greater fplendor; their 
 fpirits furvive in their works; they are admitted into 
 the higheft companies, and they continue pleating and 
 inftrucling posterity from age to age. Some of the bed 
 gain a character, by being able to fhew that they are 
 no (hangers to them; and others obtain a new warmth 
 
 to 
 
308 THE SPECTATOR. tffifl. 
 
 to labour for the happinefs and eafe of mankind, from 
 a reflexion upon thofe honours which are paid to their 
 memories. 
 
 THE thought of this took me up as I turned over 
 thofe epigrams which are the remains of feveral of the 
 Wits of Greece, and perceived many dedicated to tfye 
 fame of thofe who had excelled in beautiful poetic per- 
 formances. AVherefore, in purfuance to my thought, 
 I concluded to do fomething along with them to bring 
 their praifes into a new light and language, for the 
 encouragement of thofe whofe modeft tempers may be 
 deterred by the fear of envy or detraction from fair at- 
 tempts, to which their parts might render them equal. 
 You will perceive them as they follow to be conceiv- 
 ed in the form of epitaphs, a fort of writing which is 
 wholly fet apart for a fnort-pointed method of praife. 
 
 On Orpheus, written by Antipater. 
 
 No longer, Orpheus, /hall thy J "acred ftrains 
 
 Lead Jlones, and trees, and beafts along the plains ; 
 
 No longer foot he the boiftrous winds to Jleep, 
 
 Or Jlill the hi Hows of the raging deep : 
 
 For thou art gone, themufes mourn d thy fall 
 
 Infolemn ftrains, thy mother moft of all. 
 
 Te mortals, idly for your forts ye moan. 
 
 If thus a goddefs could not fave her own. 
 
 OBSERVE here, that if we take the fable for 
 granted, as it was believed to be in that age when the 
 epigram was written, the turn appears to have piety 
 to the gods, and a refigning fpirit in its application. 
 But if we confider the point with refpedt to our prefent 
 knowlege* it will be lefs efteemed; though the author 
 himfelf, becaufe he believed it, may ftill be more va- 
 lued than any one who mould now write with a point 
 of the fame nature. 
 
 On Homer, by Aipheus of Mytilene. 
 
 Still in our ears Andromache complains, 
 And ftill in fight the fate of Troy remains ; 
 
 Still 
 
K° 5$i. THE SPECTATOR. 309 
 
 Still Jj ax fights, flill He Bar's dragged along, 
 Such ftrange inchantmenl dwells in Homer's fong ; 
 Whofe birth could more than one poor realm adorn f 
 For all the world is proud that he was born. 
 
 THE thought in the firfl: part of this is natural, and 
 depending upon the force of poefy: in the latter part 
 it looks as if it would aim at the hiftory of feven towns 
 contendingfor the honour of Homer's birth-place; but 
 when you expeft to meet with that common ftory, the 
 poet Aides by, and raifes the whole world for a kind 
 of arbiter, which is to end the contention amongft its 
 feveral parts. 
 
 On Anacreon, by Antipater. 
 
 This tomb be thine, Anacreon; all around 
 Let ivy wreath, let flour ets deck the ground, 
 And from its earth, enrich' d with fuch a prize. 
 Let wells of milk and fir -earns of wine arife : 
 So will thine a/hes yet a pleafure know, 
 If any pleafure reach the Jhades below. 
 
 THE poet here written upon, is an eafy gay au- 
 thor, and he who writes upon him has filled his own 
 head with the character of his fubjeft. He feems to 
 love his theme fo much, that he thinks of nothing but 
 pleafing him as if he were ftill alive, by entering into 
 his libertine fpirit; fo that the humour is eafy and 
 gay, refembling Anacreon in its air, raifed by fuch 
 images, andpointed with fuch a turn as he might have 
 ufed. I give it a place here, becaufe the author may 
 have defigned it for his honour ; and I take an opportu- 
 nity from it to advife others, that when they would 
 praife, they cautioufly avoid every loofer qualification, 
 and fix only where there is a real foundation in merit. 
 
 On Euripides, by Ion. 
 
 Divine Euripides, this tomb we fee 
 So fair, is not a monument for the£, 
 
 So 
 
310 THE SPECTATOR HO551. 
 
 So much as thou for it, fince all will own 
 Thy name and taping praife adorns the ft one. 
 
 THE thought here is fine, but its fault is, that it 
 is general, that it may belong to any great man, be- 
 caufe it points out no particular character. It would be 
 better, if when we light upon fuch a turn, we join it 
 with fomething that circumfcribes and bounds it to the 
 qualities of our fubje<5t. He who gives his praife in 
 grofs, will often appear either to have been a ftranger 
 to thofe he writes upon, or not to have foundany thing 
 in them which is praife- worthy . 
 
 On Sophocles, by Simonides. 
 
 Winde, gentle ever-green, to forma /hade, 
 Around the tomb where Sophocles is laid; 
 Sweet ivy winde thy boughs, and intertwine 
 With blujhing rofes and the cluft'ring vine : 
 Thus will thy lafting leaves, with, leauties bung, 
 Prove grateful emblems of the lays hefung; 
 Whofejoul, exalted like a god of wit, 
 Among the Mufes and the Graces writ. 
 
 THIS epigram I have opened more than any of the 
 former : the thought towards the latter end feemed 
 clofer couched, fo as to require an application. I fan- 
 cied the poet aimed at the pidlure which is generally 
 made of Apollo and the Mufes, he fitting with his harp 
 in the middle, and they around him. This looked 
 beautiful to my thought, and becaufe the image arofe 
 before me out of the words of the original as I was 
 reading it, I ventured to explain them fo. 
 
 On Menander, the author unnamed. 
 
 The very bees, fweet Menander, hung 
 To tafte the Mufes fpring upon thy tongue; 
 The very Graces made the fcenesyou writ 
 Their happy point of fine expreficn hit. 
 
 Thus 
 
N°s;i. THE SPECTATOR. 311 
 
 Thus flillyou live, you make your Athens fhine y 
 Andraifs its glory to the Jkies in thine^ 
 
 THIS epigram has a refpe6t to the character of its 
 fubjecT: ; for Menander writ remarkably with a juftnefs 
 and purity of language. It has alfo told the country 
 he was born in, without either a fet or a hidden man» 
 ner, while it twifts together the glory of the poet and 
 his nation, fo as to make the nation depend upon his 
 for an increafe of its own. 
 
 I WILL offer no more inftances at prefent, to fhew 
 that they who deferve praife have it returned them 
 from different ages. Let thefe which have been laid 
 down, fhew men that envy will not always prevail. 
 And to the end that writers may more fuccefsfully en- 
 liven the endeavours of one another, let them confi- 
 der, in fome fuch manner as I have attempted, what 
 may be the juflefl fpirit and art of praife. It is indeed 
 very hard to come up to it. Our praife is trifling when 
 it depends upon fable ; it is falfe when it depends upon 
 wrong qualifications; it means nothing when it is gene- 
 ral ; it is extremely difficult to hit when we propofe to 
 raife characters high,, while we keep to them juftly. 
 I fhall end this with tranfcribing that excellent epitaph 
 of Mr. Cowley, wherein, with a kind of grave and 
 philofophic humour, he very beautifully fpeaks of 
 himfelf (withdrawn from the world, and dead to all the 
 interefts of it) as of a man really deceafed. At the fame 
 time it is an inftruclion how to leave the public with a 
 good grace. 
 
 Epitaphium vivi authoris. 
 
 Hie, viator, fib /are parvulo 
 •Couieius hie eft conditus, hie jacet 
 
 Defun flits bumani laboris 
 
 Sorte, ftpervacuaque vita ; 
 Non indecora pauper ie nit ens, 
 Et non inerti nobilis otio, 
 
 Vanoque dileflis popello 
 
 D hit iis animofus h oft is. 
 
 Pofis 
 
3 i2 THE SPECTATOR. NO551. 
 
 Pojfis ut ilium dicere mortuum, 
 
 En terra- jam nunc quantula fufficit! 
 
 Exempt a fit curls > viator , 
 
 Terra fit ilia laevis> precare. 
 Hie fparge fiores y fparge breves rofas y 
 Nam vita gaudet mortua floribus 7 
 . Herbifque odoratis corona 
 
 Vat is adhuc cinerem calentem. 
 
 The living author's epitaph. 
 
 From life's fuperfluous cares enlarg'd, 
 
 His debt of human toil difcharg'd, 
 
 Here Cowley lies, beneath this fhed, 
 
 To ev'ry worldly intereft deed : 
 
 With decent poverty content; 
 
 His hours of eafe not idly fpent; 
 
 To fortune's goods a foe profefs'd, 
 
 And hating wealth, by all carefs'd. 
 
 'Tis fure, he's dead ; forlo! how fmall 
 
 A fpot of earth is now his all ! 
 
 O ! wifh that earth may lightly lay ! 
 
 And ev'ry care be far away ! 
 
 Bring flow'rs, the fhort-liv'd rofes bring, 
 
 To life deceafed fit offering ! 
 
 And fweets around the poetftrow, 
 
 Whilft yet with life his afhes glow. 
 
 THE publication of thefe criticifms having procur- 
 ed me the following letter from a very ingenious gen- 
 tleman, I cannot forbear inferring it in the volume, 
 though it did not come foon enough to have a place 
 in any of my (ingle papers. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, 
 
 * T TAVING read over in your paper, N° 551, 
 t J jL fomeof the epigrams made by the Grecian wits, 
 
 * in commendation of their celebrated poets, I could 
 « not forbear fending you another, out of the fame col- 
 < le&ion ; which I take to be as great a compliment to 
 
 * Homer, as any that has yet been paid to him. 
 
 Ti* 
 
N°5SI« THE SPECTATOR. 313 
 
 Tii W)' rov Y&'ki <wih£jj.w, etc. 
 
 Who fir/} tranfcrih'd the famous Trojan war. 
 And wife Ulyffes' afts, Jove, make known : 
 
 For fi'nce 'tis certain, thine thofe poems are, 
 No more lei Homer boaji tl#y are his own. 
 
 < IF you think it worthy of a place in your fpecula- 
 ' tions, for ought I know (by that means) it may in 
 ' time be printed as often in Englifh, as it has already 
 ' been in Greek. I am (like the reft of the world) 
 
 S I R, 
 
 4 th D-ec, Tour great admirer, 
 
 G. lu 
 
 THE reader may obferve that the beauty of thise- 
 pigram is different from that of any in the foregoing. 
 An irony is looked upon as the fineft palliative of 
 praife; and very often conveys the nobleft panegyric 
 under the appearance of fatire. Homer is here feem- 
 ingly accufed and treated as a plagiary; but what is 
 drawn up in the form of an accufationis certainly, as 
 my correfpondent obferves, the greateft compliment 
 that could have been paid.to that divine poet. 
 
 Dear Mr. Spectator, 
 ' T AM a gentleman of a pretty good fortune, and 
 
 * X of a temper impatient of any thing which I think 
 
 * an injury ; however I always quarrelled according to 
 f law, and inftead of attacking my adverfary by the 
 
 * dangerous method of fword and piftol, I made my 
 1 aflTaults by that more fecure one of writ or warrant. 
 
 < I cannot help telling you> that either by the juftice 
 
 * of my caufes or the fuperiority of my counlil, I have 
 
 < been generally fuccefsful ; and to my great fatisfacli- 
 <■ on I can fay it, that by three actions of flander, and 
 
 < half a dozen trefpalfes, I have for feveral years en- 
 
 * joyed a perfect tranquillity in my reputation and e- 
 
 * itate. Bv thefe means alfo I have been made known 
 
 VOL. VII. O to 
 
314 THE SPECTATOR. N°sji. 
 
 ' to the judges; the ferjeants of our circuit are my in- 
 
 * timate friends, and the ornamental counfil payave- 
 ' ry profound refpect to one who has made fo great a 
 
 * figure in the law. Affairs of confequence having 
 ' brought me to town, I had the curiofity the other 
 ' day to vilit Weftminfter-Hall ; and having placed 
 < myfelf in one of the courts, expected to be mod a- 
 ' greeably entertained. After the court and counfil 
 ' were, with due ceremony, feated, up ftands a learn- 
 
 * ed gentleman, and began, When this matter was lall 
 ' ftirred before your lordfhip ; the next humbly moved 
 
 * to quajh an indi Anient ; another complained that his 
 ' adverfary had ///<?/'/> V z. judgment ; the next informed 
 i the court that his client was ftripped of his poffeffi- 
 
 * on ; another begged leave to acquaint his lordfhip 
 ' they had been f addled with cofts.. At laft up got a 
 ' grave ferjeant, and told us his client bad been hung 
 
 * up a whole term by a writ of error. At this I 
 4 could bear it no longer, but came hither, and re- 
 ' folved to apply myfelf to your honour to interpofe 
 
 * with thefe gentlemen, that they would leave off fuch 
 ' low and unnatural expreffions: For furely tho' the 
 ' lawyers fublcribe to hideous French and falfe Latin, 
 ' yet they fhould let their clients have a little decent 
 ' and proper Englifh for their money. Whatman that 
 
 * has a value for a good-name would like to have it faid 
 ' in a public court, that Mr. fuch-a-one was ftripped, 
 f fiddled or hung up? This being what has efcaped 
 ' your fpeclatorial obfervation, be pleafed to correct 
 ' fuch an illiberal cant among profefled fpeakers, and 
 ' you will infinitely oblige, 
 
 Tour humble ferv ant f 
 Joe's Coffee- ho life t 
 Nov. 2d. Philonicus. 
 
 Wednefday y 
 
»«•$£>. THE SPECTATOR. 315 
 
 N° 552. Wednesday ', December 3. 
 
 . Qui praegravat artes 
 
 Infra fepcjit as j extinclus amabitur idem. 
 
 Hor. Ep. 1. 1. 2. v. 13,/ 
 
 For tbofc are hated that excel the reft> 
 Altho^y when dead, th-ey are beloved and blefl. 
 
 Creech. 
 
 AS I was tumbling about the town the other day 
 in ahackney-coach, and delighting myfelf with 
 bufy fcenes in the fhops of each fide of me, it 
 came into my head with no fmall remorfe, that I had 
 not been frequent enough in the mention and recom- 
 mendation of the induftrious part of mankind. It very 
 naturally, upon this occafion, touched my confcience 
 in particular, that I had not acquitted myfelf to my 
 friend Mr. Peter Motteux. That induftrious man of 
 trade, and formerly brother of the quill, has dedicated 
 to me a poem upon Tea. It would injure him, as a 
 man of bufinefs, if I did not let the world know that 
 the author of fo good verfes writ them before he was 
 concerned in traffic. In order to expiate my negli- 
 gence towards him, I immediately refolved to make him 
 a vifit. I found his fpacious ware-houfes filled and 
 adorned with tea, China and Indian ware. I could 
 obferve a beautiful ordonnance of the whole; andfuch 
 different and considerable branches of trade carried on, 
 in the fame houfe, I exulted in feeing difpofed by a 
 poetical head. In one place were expofed to view filks 
 of various (hades and colours, rich brocades? and the 
 wealthieft products of foreign looms. Here you might 
 fee the fineft laces held up by the faireft hands; and 
 there examined by the beauteous eyes of the buyers, 
 the molt delicate cambrics, muflins, and linens. I 
 could not but congratulate my friend on the humble, 
 O 2 but, 
 
3i6 THE SPECTATOR. NOjj2. 
 
 but, I hoped, beneficial ufe he had made of his talents, 
 and wifhed I could be a patron to his trade, as he had 
 been pleafed to make me of his poetry. The honeft 
 man has, I know, that modeft deiire of gain which is 
 peculiar to thofe who underftand better things than 
 riches : and I dare fay he would be contented with 
 much lefsthan what is called wealth at that quarter of 
 the town which he inhabits, and will oblige all his 
 cuftomers with demands agreeable to the moderation 
 of his defires. 
 
 AMONG other omiflions of which I have been al- 
 fo guilty, with relation to men of induftry of a fupe- 
 rior order, I muft acknowlege my hlence towards a 
 propofal frequently inclofed to me by Mr. Rcnatus 
 Harris, Organ-Builder. The ambition of this arti- 
 ficer is to erect an organ in St. Paul's cathedral, over 
 the weft door, at the entrance into the body of the 
 church, which in art and magnificence fiSail tranfcend 
 any work of that kind ever before invented. The pro- 
 pofal in perfpicuous language fets forth the honour 
 and advantage fuch a performance would be to the 
 Britifli name, as well as that it would apply the power 
 of founds, in a manner more amazingly forcible than, 
 perhaps, has yet been known, and I am fure to an end 
 much more worthy. Had the vaft fums which have 
 been kid out upon operas without lkill or conduct, 
 and to no other purpofe but to fufpend or vitiate our 
 underftandings,been difpofed this way, we fhouldnow 
 perhaps have an engine fo formed as to ftrike the 
 minds of half a people at once in a place of worihip, 
 with a forgetfulnefs of prefent care and calamity, 
 and a hope of endlefs rapture? joy, and hallelujah 
 hereafter. 
 
 WHEN I am doing this juftice, I am not to forget 
 the belt mechanic of my acquaintance, that ufeful fer- 
 vant to fcience and knowlege, Mr. John Rowley ; but 
 I think I lay a great obligation on the public, by ac- 
 quainting them with his propofals for a pair of new 
 globes. After his preamble, he promifes in the laid 
 propofals that, 
 
 In 
 
N°552. THE SPECTATOR. 317 
 
 In the celeflial globe, 
 
 < CARE ftiall be taken that the fixed ftars be placed 
 
 < according to their true longitude and latitude, from 
 4 the many and correfl obfervations of Hevelius,CafTi- 
 * ni, Mr. Flamftead Reg. Allronomer, Dr. Hally, .Sa- 
 il vilian Profeffor of geometry in Oxon ; and from 
 
 < whatever elfe can be procured to render the globe 
 
 < more exaft, inilrucYive and ufeful. 
 
 < THAT all the conftellations be drawn in a cu- 
 « rious, new, and particular manner; each ftar info 
 
 < jaft, diftinft, and confpicuous a proportion, that its 
 ' magnitude may be readily known by bare infpecuon, 
 
 < according to the different light and fizes of the liars. 
 « That the tragi or way of fuch comets as have been 
 « well obferved, but not hitherto expreffed in any 
 ' globe, be carefully delineated in this. 
 
 In the t err ejlrial globe, 
 
 ' THAT by reafon the defcriptions formerly made, 
 ' both in the Englifh and Dutch great globe, are erro- 
 \ neous, Afxa, Africa, and America, be drawn in a 
 
 < manner wholly new; by which means it is to be not- 
 « ed that the undertakers will be obliged to alter the 
 
 < latitude of fome places in ten degrees, the longitude 
 ' of others in 20 degrees ; befides which great and ne- 
 '■ ceflary alterations, there be many remarkable coun- 
 
 * tries, cities, towns, rivers, and lakes, omitted in o- 
 
 * ther globes, inferted here according to the bell dif- 
 
 * coveries made by our late navigators. Laftly, That 
 ' the courfe of the trade-winds, the Monfoons, and 
 
 * other winds periodically fhifting between the tro- 
 ' pics, be vifibly expreffed. 
 
 < NOW in regard that this undertaking is of fo 
 
 * univerfal ufe, as the advancement of the moll necel- 
 
 * fary parts of the mathematics, as well as tending to 
 ' the honour of theBritifh nation, and that the charge 
 ' of carrying it on is very expenfive ; it is deiired that 
 « all gentlemen who are willing to promote lo great a 
 i work, will be pleafed to fubferibe on the following 
 
 * conditions. 
 
 O 2 < I. THE 
 
3.i8 THE SPECTATOR. N° $S2> 
 
 * I. THE undertakers engage to furnifh each fub- 
 ( fcriber with a celeftial and terreftrial globe, each of 
 
 * 30 inches diameter, in all refpects curioufly adorned >. 
 1 the ftars gilded, the capital cities plainly diftinguifh- 
 4 ed, the frames, meridians, horizons, hour-circles and 
 ' indexes fo exactly finifhed up, and accurately divid- 
 4 ed, that a pair of thefe globes will really appear, in. 
 
 * the judgment of any difinterefted and intelligent per- 
 ' fon, worth fifteen pounds more than will be demand- 
 1 ed for them by the undertakers. 
 
 « II. WHOSOEVER will be pleated to fubfcribe,, 
 4 and pay twenty five pounds in the manner following* 
 
 * for a pair of thefe globes, either for their own ufe, 
 
 * or to prefent them to any college in the univerfities, 
 
 * or any public library or fchools, fhall have his coat 
 i of arms, name, title, feat, or place of refidence, etc.. 
 c iaferted in fome convenient place of the globe. 
 
 * III. THAT every fubfcriber do at firfl pay dowr* 
 
 * the fum of ten pounds, and fifteen pounds more upon 
 '■ the delivery of each pair of globes perfectly fitted up. 
 
 * And that the faid globes be delivered within twelve 
 ' months after the number of thirty fubfcFjbers be com- 
 
 * pleated ; and that the fubfcribers be ferved with globes 
 ' in the order in which they fubfcribed. 
 
 ' IV. That a pair of thefe globes fhall not hereafter 
 '■ be fold to any perfon but the fubfcribers under thir- 
 ' ty pounds, 
 
 *" V. THAT if there be not thirty fubfcribers with- 
 c in four months, after the firfl of December, 17 1 2, 
 f the money paid fhall be returned on demand by Mr. 
 *' John Warner goldfraith near Temple-Bar, who fhall 
 
 * receive and pay the fame, according to the above- 
 < mentioned articles. T 
 
 Thurfdayy 
 
No 553- 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. 319 
 
 N°553- < Tbitrfday i December 4. 
 
 ivec /tf/?/^ ^) /W »w» incldere luditm. 
 
 Hor. Ep. 14. 1. I. v. 36. 
 
 Once to be wild, it no fuch foul difgrace ; 
 But 'tisfo, flillto run the frantic race. 
 
 Creech. 
 
 HE projea which I published on Monday 
 laft bas brought me in feveral packets of let- 
 ters Amon? the reft 1 have received one 
 from a certain projector, wherein after hav^g re- 
 
 , - ■ s propc.- 
 
 Stationers-Hall for the more convenient exhibiting or 
 that public ceremony. He undertakes to be at the 
 charge of it himfelf, provided he may have the ereft- 
 ina of galleries on every fide, and the etting of 
 them out upon that occafion. 1 have a letter alfo 
 from a bookfeller, petitioning me in a very humble 
 manner, that he may have the printing of the ipeecii 
 which I (hall make to the affembly upon the firlt o- 
 pening of my mouth. I am informed from all parts, 
 that there are great canvaffings in the feveral clubs a- 
 bout town, upon the choofing of a proper perfon to lit 
 with me on thofe arduous affairs, to which I have 
 fummoned them. Three clubs have already proceed- 
 ed to election, whereof one has made a double return. 
 If I find that my enemies (hall take advantage or my 
 filence to begin hoftilities upon me, or if any other 
 exigency of affairs may fo require, fince I lee ele- 
 ctions in fo great a forwardnefs, we may pombly 
 meet before the day appointed ; or if matters go on to 
 my fatisfacTion, I may perhaps put off the meeting 
 O 4 to 
 
32a THE SPECTATOR, NO jijgt; 
 
 to a farther day; but of this public notice (hall be 
 given. 
 
 IN' the mean time, I muft confefs that I am not 
 a little gratified and obliged by that concern which 
 appears in this great city upon my prefent defign 
 of laying down this paper. It is likewife with much 
 fatisfadtion, that I find fome of the rrioft out-lying 
 parts of the kingdom alarmed upon this occanon* 
 having received letters to expoftulate with me about 
 it from feveral of my readers of the remote!! bo- 
 roughs of Great-Britain. Among thefe I am very 
 well pleafed with a letter dated from Berwick upon, 
 Tweed, wherein my correfpondent compares the of- 
 fice, which I have for fome time executed in thefe 
 realms, to the weeding of a great garden ; which* 
 lays he, it is not fufficient to weed once for all, and 
 afterwards to give over, but that the work rauft be 
 continued daily, or the fams fpots of ground which 
 are cleared for a while, v/ill in a little time be over- 
 run as much as ever. Another gentleman lays be- 
 fore me feveral enormities that are already fprout- 
 ing, and which he believes will difcover themfelves 
 in their growth immediately after my difappearance. 
 There is no doubt, fays he, but the ladies heads 
 will {hoot up as foon as they know they are no 
 longer under the Spectator's eye ; and I have alrea- 
 dy feen fuch monftrous broad-brimmed hats under 
 the arms of foreigners, that I queftion not but they 
 will over/hadow the illand within a month or two 
 after the dropping of your paper. But among all 
 the letters which are come to my hands, there is 
 none fo handfomly written as the folio wing one, 
 which I am the more pleafed with, as it is fent me 
 from gentlemen who belong to a body which I fhall 
 always honour, and where (I cannot fpeak it with- 
 out a fecret pride) my fpeculations have met with 
 a very kind reception. It is ufual for poets, upon 
 the publifiiing of their works, to print before them 
 fuch copies of verfes as have been made in their 
 praife. Hot that you muft imagine they are pleafed 
 with their own commendations, but becaufc the ele- 
 gant 
 
NO 5J§. T H E SPECTATOR. 
 
 3-21 
 
 gant compositions of their friends fhould not be loft. 
 1 muft make the fame apology for the publication of 
 the enfuing letter., in which I have fupprefTed no part 
 of thofe praifes that are given my fpeculations with 
 too lavifli and good-natured a hand; tho' my corre- 
 fpondents can witnefs for me, that at other times I 
 have generally blotted out thofe parts in the letters 
 which I have received from. them. O 
 
 Mr. Spectator, Oxford, Nov. 25. 
 
 N fpite of your invincible frlence you have found 
 out a method of being the moft agreeable com- 
 panion in the world; That kind of converfation^ 
 which you hold with the town, has the good for- 
 tune of being always pleahng to the men of tafteand 
 leifnre, and never oifenfive to thofe of hurry and 
 bufinefs. You are never heard, but at what Horace 
 calls dextro tempore, and have the happinefs to ob- 
 ferve the politic rule, which the fame difcerning au- 
 thor gave his friend, when he injoined him to deli- 
 ver his books to Auguftus; 
 
 * Si ■validus, fi lactus erit, fi denique pofcet. 
 
 Ep. 13. I. 1. v. 5. 
 
 • When vexing cares are fled, 
 
 When well, when merry, when he afks to read. 
 
 Creech, 
 
 * You never begin to talk, but when people are defir- 
 
 * ous to hear you; and I defy any one to be out of 
 
 < humour 'till you leave off. But I am led unawares inter 
 
 * reflexions, foreign to the original defign of this e- 
 1 piftle ; which was to let you know, that fome un- 
 ' feigned admirers of your inimitable papers, who 
 
 < could, without any flattery, greet you with the fa- 
 ( lutation ufed to the eaftern monarehs, viz. Spec? 
 1 live for ever, have lately been under the fame ap- 
 
 * prehenfions with Mr. Philo-Spec ; that the hafte you 
 ' have made to difpatch your bed friends portends na 
 
 < long duration to your own fhort vifage. We could 
 ' not, indeed, find any juft grounds for complaint in 
 
 * the method you took to diffolve that venerable body ; 
 ' No, the world was not worthy of your Divine. Wilc 
 
 O s ' Ho- 
 
Z?? 
 
 THE SPECTATOR. H°SH- 
 
 Honeycomb could not, with any reputation, live- 
 fingle any longer. It was high time for the Temp- 
 lar to turn himfelf to Coke: And Sir Roger's dy- 
 ing was the wifeft thing he eves did in his life. It 
 was, however, matter of great grief to us, to think 
 that we were in danger of lofing To elegant and valua- 
 ble an entertainment:. Andwecould not, without for- 
 row, reflect that we were likely to have nothing to in- 
 terrupt) our lips in a morning, and to fufpend our 
 coffee in mid-air, between our lips and right ear,, 
 but the ordinary trafti of news-papers. We refolved, 
 therefore, not to part with you fo. But fince, to- 
 make ufe of your own allufion? the cherries began 
 now to croud the market, and their feafon was al- 
 moll over, we confnlted our future enjoyments, and 
 endeavoured to make the exquifite pleafure that deli- 
 cious fruit gave our tafte as lafting as we could, 
 and by drying them protract their ftay beyond its na- 
 tural date. We own that thus they have not a fla- 
 vour equal to that of their juicy bloom; but yet, un- 
 der this difadvantage, they pique the palate, and be- 
 come a faiver better than any other fruit at its firft 
 appearance. To fpeak plain, there are a number of 
 us who have begun our works afrefh, and meet two* 
 nights in the week in order to give you a rehear- 
 ing. We never come together without drinking your 
 health, and as feldom part without general expref- 
 fions of thanks to you for our night's improvement.. 
 This we conceive to be a more ufeful inftitution than 
 any other club whatever, not excepting even that o£ 
 ugly faces. We have one manifeft advantage over 
 that renowned fociety, with refpect to Mr. Spectator's 
 company. For though they may brag, that you fome- 
 times make yourperfonal appearance amongft them, 
 it is impolTible they mould ever get a word from you. 
 Whereas you are with us the reverfe of what Phae- 
 dria would have his roiftrers be in his rival's com- 
 pany, Prefent in your abfence. We make you talk as 
 much and as long as we pleafe ; and let me tell you, 
 you feldom hold your tongue for the whole evening. 
 I promife myfelf you will look with an eye of fa- 
 ■ vour upon a meeting which owes its original to a mu- 
 
 < tual; 
 
N°554- THE SPECTATOR. 3*3 
 
 < tnal emulation among its members, who (hall (hew 
 
 < the mod profound refpedt for.your paper ; not but 
 « we have a very great value for your perfon : and I 
 
 * dare fay you can no where find four more fincere ad- 
 
 * mirers, and humble fervants, than 
 
 T F. GS. J T. ET, 
 
 N° 554. Friday, December 5. 
 
 -Tentanda via eft, qua me qnoque pofim 
 
 Tcllere humo, vi{forque virum volitars per ora. 
 
 Vir. Georg. 3. v. 9. 
 
 Nero ways I muft attempt, my groveling name 
 To raife aloft, and whig my flight to fame. 
 
 Dryden. 
 
 AM obliged for the following eflay, as well as for 
 that which lays down rules out of Tully for pro- 
 nunciation and acTion, to the ingenious author of 
 a poem juft published, intituled, An ode to the creator 
 of the world, occajioned by the fragments of Orpheus. 
 
 IT is a remark made,, as I remember, by a celebrat- 
 ed French author, that no man ever pujhed his ca- 
 pacity as far as it was able to extend. I (hall not 
 inquire whether this alfertion be ftritfly true. It may 
 fuffice to fay, that men of the greateft application and 
 acquirements can look back upon many vacant (paces, 
 and negledled parts of time, which have (lipped away 
 from them unemployed; and there is hardly any one 
 confidering perfon in the world, but is apt to fancy 
 with himfelf, at fome time or other, that if his hie 
 were to begin again, he could fill it up better. ■ 
 
 THE mind is moft provoked to caft on ltfelf this 
 ingenuous reproach,, when the examples of fucb men 
 are preferred to it, as have far outihot the generality or 
 E theis? 
 
324 THE SPECTATOR. NO554. 
 
 their fpecies, in learning, arts, or any valuable im- 
 provements. 
 
 ONE of the mod extenfive and improved geniufes 
 we have had any inftanceof in our ov/n nation, or in 
 any other, was that of Sir Francis Bacon lord Veru- 
 Jam. This great man, by an extraordinary force of 
 nature, coropafs of thought, and indefatigable Itudy, 
 had amafTed to himi'elf fuch (lores of knowlege as we 
 cannot look upon without amazement. His capacity 
 1'eems to have grafped all that was revealed in books 
 before his time ; and not fatisfied with that, he began 
 to ftrike out new tracks of fcience, too many to bs 
 travelled over by any one man, in the compafs of the 
 longed life. Thefe, therefore, he could only mark 
 down, like imperfect coaftings in maps, or fuppofed 
 points o? land, to be further difcovered,and afcertain- 
 ed by the indullry of after-ages, who fliould proceed 
 upon his notices or conjectures. 
 
 THE excellent Mr. Boyle was the perfbn, who feems, 
 to have been defigned by nature to fucceed to the la- 
 bours and inquiries of that extraordinary genius I have 
 juft mentioned. By innumerable experiments he, in a 
 great meafure, filled up thofe plans and out-lines of 
 fcience, which his predeceflbr had fketched out. His- 
 life was fpent in the purfuit of nature, through a great 
 variety of forms and changes, and in the moft ratio- 
 nal, as well as devout adoration of its divine au- 
 thor. 
 
 IT would be impoflible to name many perfons who- 
 have extended their capacities as far as thefe two, in 
 the ftudies they purfued ; but my learned readers, on 
 this occasion, will naturally turn their thoughts to a 
 Third, who is yet living, and is likewife the glory of 
 our own nation. The improvements which others had 
 made in natural and. mathematical knowlege have fo> 
 vaitly increafed in his hands, as to afford at once a 
 wonderful inftance how great the capacity is of a hu- 
 jpah foul, and how inexhauftible the fubjecT: of its in- 
 quiries ; fo ti ue is that remark in holy writ, that 
 thovgh a wife iv.an feek to find out the works of God 
 from the beginning to the end; yet Jh all he not be able t& 
 do &l 
 
 I CANNOT 
 
N°554- THE SPECTATOR. 32J 
 
 I CANNOT help mentioning here one character 
 more of a different kind indeed from thefe, yet fuch a 
 one as may ferve to (hew the wonderful force of nature 
 and of application, and is the moft angular inftance of 
 an univerfal genius I have ever met with. The perfon 
 I mean is Leonardo da Vinci, an Italian painter, de- 
 fended from a noble family in Tufcany , about the be- 
 ginning of the fixteenth century. In his profeffion of 
 hiftory-painting he was fo great a mailer, that fome 
 have affirmed he excelled all who went before him. It 
 is certain that he raifed the envy of Michael Angelo, who 
 was his contemporary, and that from the ftudy of hi3 
 works Raphael himfelf learned his beft manner of de- 
 figning. He was a mafter too in fculpture and archi- 
 tecture, and fkilful in anatomy, mathematics, and 
 mechanics. The aqueduct from the river Adda to 
 Milan, is mentioned as a work of his contrivance. 
 He had learned feveral languages, and was acquaint- 
 ed with the ftudies of hiftory, philofophy, poetry, 
 and mufic. Though it is not neceflary to my prefent 
 purpofe, I cannot but take notice, that all who have 
 wiit of him mention likewife his perfection of body. 
 The inftances of his ftrength are almoft incredible. He 
 is defcribed to have been of a well-formed perfon, and 
 a mafter of all genteel exercifes. And laftly, we are 
 told that his moral qualities were agreeable to his na- 
 tural and intellectual endowments, and that he was of 
 an honeft and generous mind, adorned with great 
 fweetnefs of manners » I might break off the account 
 of him here, but I imagine it will be an entertainment 
 to the curiofity of my readers? to find fo remarkable a 
 character diftinguifhed by as remarkable a circumftance 
 at his death. The fame of his works having gained him 
 an univerfal efteem, he was invited to the court of 
 France, where, after fome time, he fell fick \ and Fran- 
 cis the firft coming to fee him, he raifed himfelf in his 
 bed to acknowlege the honour which was done him by 
 that vifit. The king embraced him, and Leonardo 
 fainting at the fame inftant, expired in the arms of 
 that great monarch. 
 
 IT is impoflible to attend to fuch inftances as thefe, 
 without being raifed into a contemplation on the won- 
 derful 
 
326 THE SPECTATOR. N^ 55^4. 
 
 derful nature of an human mind, which is capable of 
 fuch progreffions in knowlege, and can contain fuch a 
 variety of ideas without perplexity or confufion. How 
 reafonable is it from hence to infer its divine original? 
 And whilft we find unthinking matter endued with a 
 natural power to laft for ever, unlefs annihilated by 
 omnipotence, how abfurd would it be to imagine, that 
 a being fo much fuperior to it mould not have the fame 
 privilege? 
 
 AT the fame time it is very furprifing, when we re- 
 move our thoughts from fuch inftances as I have men- 
 tioned, to tonfider thofe we fo frequently meet with in 
 the accounts of barbarous nations among the Indians; 
 where we find numbers of people who fcarce (hew the 
 firft glimmerings of reafon, and feem to have few ideas 
 above thofe of fenfe and appetite. Thefe, methinks, 
 appear like large wilds, or vaft uncultivated tracts of 
 human nature ; and when we compare them with men 
 of the moll exalted characters in arts and learning, we 
 find it difficult to believe that they are creatures of the 
 fame fpecies. 
 
 SOME are of opinion that the fouls of men are all 
 naturally equal, and that the great difparity, we fo of- 
 ten obferve, arifes from the different organization or 
 ftruclure of the bodies to which they are united. But 
 whatever constitutes this firft difparity, the next great 
 difference which we find between men in their leveral 
 acquirements is owing to accidental differences in their 
 education, fortunes, or courfe of life. The foul is a 
 kind of rough diamond, which requires art, labour, 
 and time to polifh it. For want of which, many a 
 good natural genius is loft? or liesunfafhioned, like a 
 jewel in the mine. 
 
 ONE of the ftrongeft incitements to excel in fuch 
 arts and aceomplifhments as are in the higheft efteem 
 amongftmen, is the natural paffion which the mind oi 
 man has for glory ; which, though it may be faulty 
 fn the excefs of it, ought by no means to be difcou- 
 raged. Perhaps fome moralifts are too fevere in beat- 
 ing down this principle, which feems to be a fpring 
 implanted by nature to give motion to all the latent 
 powers of the foul, and is always obferved to exert it- 
 
 fel€ 
 
N° jj4. THE S P E C T A T O R. 327 
 
 felf with the greateft force in the mod generous difpo- 
 iitions. The men, whofe characters have {hone the 
 brighteft among the ancient Romans, appear to have 
 been ftrongly animated by this paflion. Cicero, whofe 
 learning and fervices to his country are fo well known* 
 was inflamed by it to an extravagant degree, and warm- 
 ly prefTes Lucceius, who was compofing a hiftory of 
 thofe times, to be very particular and zealous in re- 
 lating the ftory of his confulfhip ; and to execute it 
 fpeedily, that he might have the pleafure of enjoying 
 in his life-time fome part of the honour which he fore- 
 faw would be paid to his memory. This was the am- 
 bition of a great mind; but he is faulty in the degree 
 ef it, and cannot refrain from foliciting the hiftorian 
 upon this occafion to neglect the ftric~t laws of hiftc- 
 ry, and, in praihng him, even to exceed the bounds of 
 truth. The younger Pliny appears to have had the 
 fame paflion for fame, but accompanied with greater 
 ehaitnefs and modefty. His ingenuous manner of own- 
 ing it to a friend, who had prompted him to under- 
 take fome great work, is exemifitely beautiful, and raifes- 
 him to a certain grandeur above the imputation of va- 
 nity. I mufl confefs, fays he, that nothing employs my 
 thoughts more than the defire 1 have of perpetuating my 
 name ; which in my opinion is a defgn worthy of a man, 
 at leajl of fuch a one, who being confeious of no guilt, 
 is not afraid to be remgjnbered by poflerity . 
 
 I THINK I ought not to conclude, without intereft- 
 ing all my readers in the fubject of this difcourfe: I 
 mall therefore lay it down as a maxim, that though all 
 are not capable of mining in learning or the politer 
 arts; yet every one is capable of excelling in fomething. 
 The foul has in this refpeft a certain vegetative power 
 which cannot lie wholly idle. If it is not laid out and 
 cultivated into a regular and beautiful garden, it will 
 of itfelf (hoot up in weeds or flowers of a wilder 
 growth,, 
 
 Saturday*, 
 
228 THE SPECTATOR. N°5j$-. 
 
 ^° 555' Saturday, December 6. 
 
 Refpue quod non es Perf. Sat. 4. v. JI. 
 
 Lay the fiftitious char after afide. 
 
 ALL the members of the imaginary fociety, which 
 were defcribed in my firft papers, having difap- 
 peared one after another, it is high time for the 
 Spectator himfelf to go off the ftage. But; now I am 
 to take my leave, I am under much greater anxiety 
 than I have known for the work of any day fince I 
 undertook this province, it is much more difficult to 
 eonverfe with the world in a real than a perfonated 
 character. That might pafs for humour in the Spe- 
 ctator, which would look like arrogance in a writer 
 who fets his name to his work. The fictitious per- 
 fon might contemn thofe who difapproved him, and ex- 
 tol his own performances, without giving offence. He 
 might afliime a mock -authority, without being looked 
 upon as vain and conceited. Thepraifes or cenfures 
 of himfelf fall only upon the creature of his imagina- 
 tion; and if any one finds fault with him, the author 
 may reply with the philofopher of old, Thou doft but 
 heat the cafe of Anaxarchus. "When! fpeak in my own 
 private fentiments, I cannot but addrefs myfelf to my 
 readers in a more fubmiffive manner, and with a juft 
 gratitude, for the kind reception which they have gi- 
 ven to thefe daily papers that have been publifhed for 
 almoft the fpace of two years laft paft. 
 
 I HOPE the apology I have made as to the licence 
 allowable to a feigned character, may excufe any thing 
 which has been faid in thefe difcourfes of the Specta- 
 tor and his works ; but the imputation of the grofleft, 
 vanity would ftill dwell upon me, if I did not give fome 
 account by what means I was enabled to keep up the 
 fpirit of fo long and approved a performance. All the pa- 
 pers marked with a C, an L, an I> or an O, that is to fay, 
 
 all 
 
No $&, THE SPECTATOR, 329 
 
 all the papers which I have diftinguifhed by any letter in 
 the name of the mufe CLIO? were given me by the 
 gentleman of whofe affiftancel formerly boafted in the 
 preface and concluding leaf of my Tatlers. I am indeed 
 much more proud of his iong-continued friendship, than 
 I fhould be of the fame of being thought the author of 
 any writings which he himfeif is capable of producing. 
 I remember when I finifhed the Tender Hufband,I told 
 him there was nothing I fo ardently wifhed, as that we 
 might fome time or other publifh a work written by us 
 both, which mould bear the name of the Monument, in 
 memory of our friendfhip. I heartily wifh what I have 
 done here, was as honorary to that facred name, as. 
 learning, wit, and humanity render thofe pieces which 
 I have taught the reader how to diitinguifh for his. 
 When the play abovementioned was laft. acted, there 
 were fo many applauded ftro'kes in it which,! had from 
 the fame hand,, that I thought very meanly of myfeif 
 that I had never publicly acknowleged them. After I 
 have put other friends upon importuning him to pub- 
 lish dramatic, as well as other writings he has by him, 
 I (hall end what I think I am obliged to fay on this head, 
 by giving my reader this hint for the better judging of 
 my productions, that the bed; comment upon them 
 would be an account when the patron to the Tender 
 Huflsand was in England, or abroad. 
 
 THE reader will alfo find fome papers which are 
 marked with the letter X, for which he is obliged to the 
 ingenious gentleman who diverted the town with the 
 epilogue to the DiftrerFed Mother. I might have owned 
 thefe feveral papers with the free confent of thefe gen- 
 tlemen, who did not write them with a deiign of being 
 known for the authors. But as a candid and fincere be- 
 haviour ought to be preferred to all other coniiderati- 
 ons, I would not let my heart reproach me with aconfci- 
 oufnefs of having acquired a praife which is not my 
 right. 
 
 THE other afiiftances which I have had, have been 
 conveyed by letter, fometimes by whole papers, and 
 other times by fhort hints from unknown hands. I have 
 not been able to trace favours of this kind, with any 
 certainty, but to the following names? which I place in 
 
 the 
 
330 THE SPECTATOR. 2**j&s 
 
 the order wherein I received the obligation ; tho' the 
 firffc I am going to name can hardly be mentioned in a 
 lift wherein he would not deferve the precedence. The 
 perfons to whom I am to make thefe acknowlegements 
 are Mr. Henry Martyn, Mr. Pope, Mr. Hughes, Mr. 
 Carey of New-College in Oxford, Mr. Tickell of 
 Queen's in the fame univerfity, Mr. Parnelle, and Mr. 
 Eufden,of Trinity in Cambridge. Thu?, to fpeakin the 
 language of my late friend Sir Andrew Freeport, I 
 have balanced my accompts with all my creditors for 
 wit and learning. But as thefe excellent performances 
 would not have feen the light without the means of 
 this paper, I may ftill arrogate to myfelf the merit of 
 their being communicated to the public. 
 
 I HAVE nothing more to add, but having fwelled 
 this work to five hundred and fifty five papers, they will 
 be difpofed into feven volumes, four of which are al- 
 ready publifhed, and the three others in the prefs. It 
 will not be demanded of me why I now leave off, tho' I 
 muft own myfelf obliged to give an account to the town 
 of my time hereafter ; fince I retire when their partiali- 
 ty to me is fo great, that an edition of the former vo- 
 lumes of Spectators of above nine thoufand each book 
 is already fold off, and the tax on each half fheet has 
 brought into the (lamp-office one week with another 
 above 20I. a-week arifing from this fingle paper, not- 
 withstanding it at firft reduced it to lefs than half the 
 number that was ufually printed before this tax was laid . 
 
 I HUMBLY befeech the continuance of this inclina- 
 tion to favour what I may hereafter produce, and hope 
 I have in my occurrences of life tailed fo deeply of pain 
 and forrow, that I am proof againft much more pro- 
 fperous circumftances than any advantages to which my 
 own induftry can poffibly exalt me. 
 
 / am, 
 
 My good-natured reader, 
 Tour mofl obedient, 
 
 Mo/} obliged humble fervant, 
 
 Richard Steele. 
 Vos valet e et plsudite. Ter. 
 
 THE 
 
N° 5?*- THE SPECTATOR. 231 
 
 THE following letter regard* an ingenious fet of 
 gentlemen, who have done me the honour to make me 
 ©ne of their fociety. 
 
 Mr. Spectator, Dec. 4. 1712, 
 
 THE academy of Painting, lately eftablilhed in 
 London, having done you and themfelves the 
 honour to choofe you one of their directors ; that 
 noble and lively art, which before was entitled to 
 your regards as a Spectator, has an additional claim 
 to you, and you feem to be under a double obligation 
 to take fome care of her interefts. 
 ' THE honour of oui country is alfo concerned in 
 the matter I am going to lay before you : we (and per- 
 haps other nations as well as we) have a national 
 falfe humility as well as a national vain-glory; and 
 tho' we boaft ourfelves to excel all the world in 
 things wherein we are outdone abroad, in other 
 things we attribute to others a fuperiority which we 
 ourlelves pofTefs. This is what is done, particular- 
 ly, in the art of Portrait or Face-Painting. 
 < PAINTING is an art of a vail extent, too- great 
 by much for any mortal man to be in full pofleflion 
 of, in all its parts; it is enough if any one fucceed 
 in painting faces, hiftory, battles, landscapes, r ea- 
 pieces, fruit, flowers, or drolls, etc. Nay, no- 
 man ever was excellent in all the branches (tho* 
 many in number) of thefe feveral arts, for a diftindt 
 art I take upon me to call every one of thofe feveral 
 kinds of painting. 
 
 1 AND as one man may be a good landfcape-paint- 
 ter, but unable to paint a face or a hiftory tolerably 
 well, and fo of the reft; one nation may excel in 
 fome kinds of painting, and other kinds may thrive 
 better in other climates.. 
 
 1 ITALY may have the preference of all other na- 
 tions for hiftory-painting : Holland for drolls, and a 
 neat finifhed manner of working; France, for gay, 
 janty, fluttering pictures; and England for por- 
 traits: but to give the honour of every one of thefe 
 kinds of painting to any one of thofe nations on ac- 
 count of their excellence in any of thefe parts of it > 
 
 < i* 
 
332 THE SPECTATOR. N° 555. 
 
 is like adjudging the prize of heroic, dramatic, ly- 
 ric or burlefque poetry, to him who has done well 
 in any one of them. 
 
 * WHERE there are the greatefl geniufes, and mod 
 helps and encouragements, it is reafonable to fuppofe 
 an art will arrive to the greatefl: perfection : by this 
 rule let us confider our own country with refpecl to 
 face-painting. No nation in the world delights fo 
 much in having their own, or friends, or relations 
 pictures; whether from their national good-nature, 
 or having a love to painting, and not being encou- 
 raged in the great article of religious pictures, which 
 the purity of our worfhip refufes the free life of, or 
 from whatever other caufe. Our helps are not inferi- 
 or to thofe of any other people, but rather they are 
 greater; for what the antique ftatues and bas-reliefs 
 which Italy enjoys are to the hiftory-painters, the 
 beautiful and noble faces with which England is con- 
 felled to abound, are to face-painters ; and befides 
 we have the greateft number of the works of the bed 
 maftersin that kind of any people, not without a com- 
 petent number of thofe of the mod excellent in every 
 other part of painting. And for encouragement, 
 the wealth and generolity of the Englilh nation af- 
 fords that in fuch a degree, as artiftshave no reafon 
 to complain. 
 
 'AND accordingly in fact, face-painting is no 
 where fo well performed as in England : I know not 
 whether it has lain in your way to obferve it, but I 
 have, and pretend to be a tolerablejudge. I have feen 
 what is done abroad, and can allure you, that the ho- 
 nour of that branch of painting is juftly due to us. I 
 appeal to the judicious obfervers for the truth of what 
 I aflert. If foreigners have oftentimes,* or even for 
 the molt part excelled our natives, it ought to be 
 imputed to the advantages they have met with here, 
 joined to their own ingenuity and induftry; nor has 
 any one nation diftingui(hed e themfelves fo as to raife 
 an argument in favour of their country: but it is 
 to be obferved that neither. French nor Italians, nor 
 any one of either nation, notwithstanding all our 
 prejudices in their favour, have or ever had, for 
 
 * any 
 
HOtlSh THE SPECTATOR. 333 
 
 any confiderable time, any character among us as 
 face-painters. 
 
 ' THIS honour is due to our own country; and 
 has been fo for near an age : fo that inflead of going 
 to Italy, or elfewhere, one that deiigns for portrait- 
 painting ought to ftudy in England. Hither fuch 
 mould come from Holland? France, Italy, Germany, 
 etc. as he that intends to pradtife any other kinds of 
 painting, fhould go to thofe parts where it is in 
 greateft perfection. It is faid the blefTed Virgin de- 
 scended from heaven, to lit to St. Luke ; I dare ven- 
 ture to affirm, that if (he fhould delire another Madon- 
 na to be painted by the life, (he would come to Eng- 
 land; and am of opinion that your prefent prefident, 
 Sir Godfrey Kneller, from his improvement fince he 
 arrived in this kingdom, would perform that office 
 better than any foreigner living. I am, with all pof- 
 ffible refpecf, 
 
 SIR, 
 
 Tour moft humble, and 
 
 Mojl obedient fervant, etc. 
 
 THE ingenious letters figned the Weather-daft, with 
 fever al others, were received, but came too late, 
 
 POSTSCRIPT. 
 
 IT had not come to my knowlege, when I left off the 
 Spectator, that I owe feveral excellent fentiments and 
 agreeable pieces in this work to Mr. Ince of Gray's Inn. 
 
 R. Steele, 
 
 THE 
 
THE 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 A. 
 
 ACTION, a necefTary qualification in an orator, 
 N. 541 . Tully's observations on action adapted 
 
 to the Britifh theatre, ibid. 
 Actor, abfent, who fo called by Theophraftus, N. 541 . 
 Advice ufually received with reluctance, N. 512. 
 Afflictions, how to be allievated, N. 501. 
 Allegories : the reception the Spectator's allegorical 
 
 writings meet with from the public, N. 501. 
 Anatomy : the Spectator's fpeculations on it, N. 543. 
 Arm (the) called by Tully the orator's weapon, N. 
 
 541. 
 Art, the defign of it, N. 541. 
 Audience, the grofs of an audience of whom com- 
 
 pofed, N. 502. The vicious tafte of our Englifh au- 
 diences, ibid. 
 Auguftus, his reproof to the Roman bachelors, N. 
 
 528. 
 Authors, their precedency fettled according to the 
 
 bulk of their works, N. 529. 
 
 B. 
 
 BACON (Sir Francis) his extraordinary learning 
 and parts, N. 554. 
 Bamboo (Benjamin) the philofophical ufe he refolves 
 to make of a fhrew of a wife, N. 482. 
 
 Beauty, 
 
THE INDEX. 
 
 Beauty, the force of it, N. 51®. 
 
 Beings: the fcale of beings confidered by the Specta- 
 
 tor, N. 519. 
 Biting, a kind of mungrel wit defcribed and exploded 
 
 by the Spectator, 504. 
 Biton and Clitobus, their (lory related, and applied by 
 
 the Spectator, N. 483. 
 Body (human) the work of a tranfcendently wife and 
 
 powerful being, N. 543. 
 
 C. 
 
 CALAMITIES not to be diftinguifhed from blef- 
 ings, N. 483. 
 Campbell (Mr.) the dumb fortune-teller, an extraor- 
 dinary perfon, N. 474. 
 Cato, the grounds for his belief of the immortality of 
 
 the foul, N. 537. 
 Celibacy, the great evil of the nation, N. £28. 
 Charity, the great want of it among chriftians, N. 5 16. 
 Chaftity of renown, what, N, 480. 
 Children, a multitude of them one of the bleflings of 
 
 the married Mate, N. 500. 
 Cicero, the great Roman orator, his extraordinary fu- 
 
 perftition, N. 505. and defire of glory, 554. 
 Clarendon (lord) a reflexion of that hiltorian's, N. 
 
 485. 
 Clubs, the institution and ufe of them, N. 474. 
 CofFee-houfe debates feldom regular, or methodical, "NT. 
 
 476. Coffee-houfe liars, two forts of them, 52 u 
 Comfort an attendant on patience, N. 501. 
 Contemplation, the way to the mountain- of the mufes, 
 
 N. 514. 
 Cot-queans, defcribed by a lady who has one for her 
 
 hulband, N. 482. 
 Coverley(Sir Roger de)anaccount of hisdeathbrought 
 
 to the Spectator's club, N. 517. His legacies, ibid: 
 Country-life, a fcheme of it, N. 474. 
 Country-wake, a farce, commended by the Spectator^ 
 
 N. 502. 
 
 • Dap- 
 
THE INDEX. 
 
 D. 
 
 j APPERWIT (Tom) his opinion of matrimony, 
 N. 482. recommended by Will Honeycomb to 
 fucceed him in the Spectator's club, N. 530. 
 
 Diagoras the atheift, his behaviour to the Athenians in 
 a ftorm, N. 483. 
 
 Dionyfius, a club-tyrant, N. 508. 
 
 Dogget the commedian, for what commended by the 
 Spe&ator, N. 502. 
 
 Dreams, in what manner cOnfldered by the Spectator, 
 N. 487. The folly of laying any ftrefsupon, ordraw- 
 ing confequences from our dreams, 505. The mul- 
 titude of dreams fent to the Spectator, 524. 
 
 Dry (Will) a man of a clear head, but few wordf, 
 N. 476. 
 
 E. 
 
 EMBELLISHERS, what perfons fo called, N. 521, 
 Epi&etus the philofopher, his advice to dream- 
 ers, N. 524. 
 Epiftles recommendatory, the injuftice and abfurdi'ty 
 
 of mod of them, N. 493. 
 EfTays, wherein differing from methodical difcourfes, 
 N. 476. 
 
 FABLES, the great ufefulnefs and antiquity of 
 them, N. 512. 
 
 Fairs for buying and felling of women cuflomary a- 
 mong the Perlians, N. jn. 
 
 Fancy the daughter of liberty, N. 514. 
 
 Fafhions, the vanity of them, wherein beneficial, N. 
 478. A repofitory propofed to be built for them. 
 Mid. The balance of fafhions leans on the fide of 
 France, Mid-. The evil influence of fafhion on the 
 married ftate, 490. 
 VOL. VII. P Fa- 
 
THE INDEX. 
 
 Fafhionable fociety (a board of directors of the) pro- 
 pofed, with the requilite qualifications of the mem- 
 bers, N. 478. 
 
 Fools naturally mifchievous, N. 485. 
 
 Frankair (Charles) a powerful and fuccefsful fpeaker, 
 N. 484. 
 
 Freeport (Sir Andrew) his refolution to retire from 
 hufinefs, N. 549. 
 
 French much addicted to grimace, N. 481. 
 
 Friendfhip, a neceffary ingredient in the married (late, 
 N. 490. Preferred by Spenfer to love and natural 
 affection, ibid. 
 
 G. 
 
 GARDEN, the innocent delights of one, N. 477. 
 What part of the garden at Kenfington to be moft 
 admired, ibid. In what manner gardening may be 
 compared to poetry, ibid. 
 Gladnefs of heart to be moderated, and retrained, but 
 
 not baniflied by virtue, N. 494. 
 God, an inltance of his exuberant goodnefs and 
 mercy, N. 519. A being of infinite perfections, N. 
 531- 
 
 H. 
 
 "ARRIS (Mr.) the organ-builder, his propofal, 
 — N. 5:52. 
 
 Heads never the wifer for being bald, N. 497. 
 
 Heraclitus, a remarkable faying of his, N. 487. 
 
 Herodotus, wherein condemned by the Spectator, N. 
 483. 
 
 Hobfon (Tobias) the Cambridge carrier, the firft man 
 in England who let out hackney-horfes, N. 509. 
 His juftice in his employment, and the fuceefs of it, 
 ibid. 
 
 Honeycomb (Will) refolved not to marry without the 
 advice of his friends, N. 475. His tranflation from 
 the French of an epigram, written by Martial in ho- 
 nour of the beauty of his wife Cleopatra, N. 490. 
 
 His 
 
THE INDEX. 
 
 His letters to the Spectator, N. 499, 511. Marries 
 
 a country-girl, N. 530. 
 Hope, the folly of it when mifemployed on temporal 
 
 objects, N. 535. inftahced in the fable of Alnafchaf 
 
 the Perfian glafsman, ibid. 
 Horace, his recommendatory letter to Claudius Nero 
 
 in behalf of his friend Septimius, N. 493. 
 Humanity, not regarded by the fine gentlemen of the 
 
 age, N. 520. 
 Hufband, a fond one defcribed, N. 479. 
 Hymen, a revengeful deity, N. 530. 
 
 I. 
 
 EWS, confidered by the Spectator, in relation to 
 their number, difperfion, and adherence to their 
 religion, N. 49J; and the reafons afligned for it, 
 ibid. The veneration paid by them to the name of 
 God, 531. ' 
 Independent minifter, the behaviour of one at his exa- 
 mination of a fcholar, who was in election to be ad- 
 mitted into a college of which he was governor, N. 
 
 494- 
 Ingratitude, a vice infeparable to a luftful mind, >N. 
 
 491. 
 Inftinct, the feveral degrees of it in feverai different 
 
 animals, N. 519. 
 Invention, the molt painful action of the mind, N. 
 
 4 8 7- 
 Juftice, to be efteemed as the firft quality in one who 
 
 is in a poll of power and direction, 479. 
 
 L. 
 
 AUGHTER, the diflinguifliing faculty in man ; 
 N. 494. 
 Learning highly neceffary to a man of fortune, N. 
 
 506. 
 Leo X. a great lover of buffoons and coxcombs, N. 
 497. In what manner reproved for it by a pried, 
 ibid. 
 
 P 2 Letters 
 
T 11 E INDEX. 
 
 Letters to the Spectator ; from J. R. complaining of 
 his neighbours, and the turn of their converfation 
 in the country, N. 474. From Dulcibella Thankley, 
 who wants a direction to Mr. Campbell, the dumb 
 fortune teller, ibid, from B. D. defiring the Specta- 
 tor's advice in a weighty affair, 476. From 
 
 containing a defcription of his garden, 477. From 
 A- B. with a diflertation on fafhions? and a propo- 
 fal for a building for the ufe of them, 478. From 
 monfieur Chezluy to Pharamond, 480. To the Spe- 
 ctator from a clerk to a lawyer, ibid. From 
 
 being a lady married to a cot-quean, 482. 
 
 From with a diflertation on modefty, 484. 
 
 From containing reflexions on the power- 
 ful effects of trifles, and trifling perfons, 485. From 
 a handfom black man two pail of flairs in the paper 
 buildings in the Temple, who rivals a handfom fair 
 man up one pair of flairs in the fame building, 
 485. From Robin Shorter, with a poftfcript, ibid. 
 
 From — — with an account of the unmarried 
 
 henpecked, and a vindication of the married, 486. 
 
 From— with an epigram on the Spectator by 
 
 Mr. Tate, 488. From with fome reflexions 
 
 on the ocean confidered both in a calm and a ftorm y 
 and a divine ode on that occafion, 489. From Matil- 
 da Mohair, at Tunbridge, complaining of the dif- 
 regard fhe meets with on account of her flrict virtue 
 from the men, who take more notice of the romps 
 and coquettes than the rigids, 492. From T. B. 
 complaining of the behaviour of fome fathers towards 
 their eldeft fons> 496. From Rachel Shoeftring, Sa- 
 rah Trice, an humble fervant unknown, and Alice 
 Bluegarter, in anfwer to that from Matilda Mohair, 
 who is with child, and has crooked legs, ibid. From 
 Mofes Greenbag, the lawyer, giving an account of 
 fome new brothers of the whip, who have chambers 
 in the Temple, 498. From Will Honeycomb with 
 his dream intended for a fpedtator, 499. From Phi- 
 logamus in commendation of the married ftate, 500. 
 From Ralph Wonder, complaining of the behaviour 
 of an unknown lady at the parifh-church ^iear the 
 
 Bridge, 
 
THE INDEX. 
 
 Bridge, 503. From Titus Trophonius, an interpre- 
 ter ofdreams, 505, From complaining of the 
 
 oppreflion and injuftice obferved in the rules or all 
 clubs and meetings, 508. From Hezekiah Thrift, 
 containing a difcourfe on trade, 509. From Will 
 Honeycomb, occafioned by two Itories he had met 
 with relating to a fale of women in Perfia and 
 China, 511. From the Spedator's clergyman being 
 
 a 'though in ficknefs, 513. From with 
 
 a vifion of ParnaMus, 514. From -with 
 
 two inclofed, one from a celebrated town-coquette 
 to her friend newly married in the country, and 
 her friend's anfwer, $15. From Ed. Bifcuit, Sir 
 Roger de Coverley's butler, with an account of his 
 
 mailer's death, 517. From. condoling with 
 
 him on Sir Roger's death, with fome remarkable 
 epitaphs, 518. From Tom Tweer, on phyfiogno- 
 my, etc. ibid. From F. J. a widower, with fome 
 thoughts on a man's behaviour in that condition, 
 
 520. From a great enemy to public report, 
 
 521. From T. W. a man of prudence tohismiitrefs, 
 
 522. To the Spe&ator from B. T. a fincere lover to 
 
 the fame, ibid. From dated from Glafgow in 
 
 Scotland, with a vifion, 524. From Pliny, to his 
 wife's aunt Hifpulla, 525. From Mofes Greenbag to 
 the Spectator, with a farther account of fome gentle- 
 men-brothers of the whip, 526. From Philagnotes, 
 giving an account of the ill effects of the vifit he 
 paid to a female married relation, 527. From— — 
 who had made his miitrefs a prefent of a fan, with 
 a copy of verfes on that occafion, ibid. From Ra- 
 chel Welladay, a virgin of twenty three, with a heavy 
 complaint againft the men, 528. From Will Ho- 
 neycomb lately married to a country girl, who has 
 no portion but a great deal of virtue, 530. From 
 Mr. Pope, on the verfes fpoken by the emperor A- 
 drianupon his death-bed, 532. From Duftereraftus, 
 whofe parents will not let him choofe a wife for 
 himfelf, 533. From Penance Cruel, complaining of 
 the behaviour of perfons who travelled with her in a 
 ft age-coach out of EfTex to London, ibid. From 
 
 to p 3 Sharlot 
 
THE INDEX. 
 
 Sharlot Wealthy, fetting forth the hard cafe of fuch 
 women as are beauties and fortunes? 534. From A - 
 braham Dapperwit, with the Spectator's anfwer, 
 ibid. From Jeremy Comfit, a grocer, who is in hopes 
 of growing rich by loiing his cuftomers, ibid. From 
 Lucinda Parly a cofFee-houfe idol, ibid. From C 
 B. recommending knotting as a proper amufement 
 
 to the beaus, 536. From a ihoeing-horn, 
 
 ibid. From Relicta Lovely, a widow, 539. From 
 Euftace, in love with a lady of eighteen, whofe 
 parents think her too young to marry by three 
 years, ibid. From complaining of a young di- 
 vine? who murdered archbifhop Tillotfon's fermon 
 
 upon evil-fpeaking, ibid. From with a 
 
 fhort critic on Spenfer,' 540. From Philo-Spec, 
 who apprehends a difTolution of the Spectator's club, 
 and the ill confequences of it, 542. From cap- 
 tain Sentry? lately come to the pofleffion of Sir Ro- 
 ger de Coverley's eftate, 544, From the emperor 
 of China to the pope, 545. From W. C. to the 
 .Spectator, in commendation of a generous benefa- 
 ctor, 546. From Charles Eafy, fetting forth the 
 fovereign ufe of the Spectators in feveral remarka- 
 ble inftances, 547. From on poetical ju- 
 
 ftice, 548. From Sir Andrew Freeport, who is re- 
 tiring from bufinefs, 549. From Philonicus, a li- 
 tigious gentleman, complaining; of fome impolite 
 law-terms, 551. From T. F. G. S. J. T. E. T. 
 in commendation of the Spectator, 553. 
 London (Mr.) the gardener, an heroic poet, N. 
 
 477- 
 
 Love, the capricioufnefs of it, N. 4.7 5". The roman- 
 tic ftile in which it is made, 479. A nice and fickle 
 paflion, 506. A method proposed to preferve it alive 
 after marriage, ibid. 
 
 Lying? the malignity of it, N. 507. Party-lying? the 
 prevalency of it, ibid. 
 
 Lyfander, his character, N. 522:. 
 
 MAN, 
 
THE INDEX. 
 
 M. 
 
 MAN, by what chiefly diftinguifhed from all other 
 creatures, N. 494. Suffers more from imaginary 
 than real evils, 505. His fubjeclion to the female 
 fex, 510. Wonderful in his nature, 519. 
 Married condition rarely unhappy, but from want 
 of judgment or temper in the hufband, N. 479. 
 The advantages of it preferable to a (ingle flate, 
 ibid, is 500. Termed purgatory by Tom Dapper- 
 wit, 482. The excellence of its inftitution, 490. 
 The pleafure and uneafinefs of married perfons, to 
 what imputed, 506. The foundation of community, 
 522. For what reafon liable to fo much ridicule, 
 ibid. Some further thoughts of the Spectator on 
 that fubjecT:, 525. 
 Matter the bafis of animals, N. 519. 
 Men of the town rarely make good hulbands, N. 
 
 522. 
 Method, the want of it, in whom only fupportable, 
 N. 476. The ufe and neceffity of it in writ- 
 ings, ibid. Seldom found in coffee-houfe debates? 
 ibid. 
 Mind (human) the wonderful nature of it, N. 55^4, 
 Misfortunes, our judgments upon them reproved, N. 
 
 483. 
 Modefty an unnecefTary virtue in the profelfors of the 
 law, N. 484. The fentiments entertained of it by the 
 ancients, ibid. Rules recommended to the model! 
 man by the Spectator, ibid. 
 Mootfields, by whom reforted to, N. 505. 
 Motteux (Peter) dedicates his poem on Tea to the Spe- 
 ctator,. N. 552. 
 
 N 
 
 N. 
 
 EMESIS, an old maid, a great difcoverer of 
 judgments, N. 483, 
 
 PAS* 
 
THE INDEX, 
 
 P. 
 
 PASSION relieved by hjfelf, N. 520. 
 ParnafTus, the viiion of it, N. 514. 
 Patience, an allegorical difcourfe upon it, N. £01. 
 Philips (Mr.) hispaftorals recommended by the fpe&a- 
 
 tor, N. 523. 
 Pififtratus, the Athenian tyrant, his generous behavi- 
 our on a particular occafion, N. 527. 
 Plato, his defcription of the fupreme being, N. 5:07. 
 Players, wherein to be condemned, N. 502. The pre- 
 cedency fettled among them, 529. 
 Pliny: the necefTary qualifications of a fine fpeaker 
 according to that author, N. 484. His letter to his 
 wife's aunt Hifpulla, 525. 
 Plutarch, for what reproved by theSpedtator, N.483. 
 Pope, (Mr.) his mifcellany commended by the Specta- 
 tor, N. 523. 
 Praife, when changed into fame, N. £$1. 
 Prediction, the many arts of it in ufe among the vul- 
 gar, N. 505. 
 Prerogative, when and how to be afTerted with honour, 
 
 N. 480. 
 Pronunciation necefTary to an orator. N. 541. 
 Prof peel of peace, a poem on that fubjedl commended 
 
 by the Spectator, N. 523. 
 Punning, by whom afFecled, N. 504. 
 Punfters, their talents, N. 504. 
 
 Puzzle (Tom) a moil eminent immethodical difpu- 
 tant, N. 476. 
 
 R. 
 
 RALEIGH (Sir Walter) his opinion of woman- 
 kind, N. 510. 
 Religion, a morofe melancholy behaviour, which is ob- 
 ferved in feveral precife profelfors of it, reproved by 
 the Spectator, N. 494. The true fpirit of it not on- 
 only compofes, but chears the foul, ibid. 
 Repofitory for fafhions, a building propofed and de- 
 scribed, N. 4.87. The ufefuinefs of it, ibid. 
 
 Rhyn- 
 
THE INDEX. 
 
 Rhynfault, the unjuft governor, in what manner pu- 
 nifhed by Charles duke of Burgundy, his fovereign, 
 
 N. 49i- 
 Roman's: an inftance of the general good underftand- 
 
 ing of the ancient Romans, N. 502. 
 Rowley (Mr.) his propofals for a new pair of globes, 
 
 N. 552. 
 
 S. 
 
 SENSE, the different degrees of it, in the feveral 
 different fpecies of animals, N, 519. 
 
 Sentry (captain) takes pofleffion of his uncle Sir Roger 
 de Coverley's eftate, N. 517. 
 
 Shoeing-horns, who, and by whom employed, N. 536. 
 
 Sicknefs, a thought on it, N. 513. 
 
 Sly (John) the tobacconift, his reprefentation to the 
 Spedlator, N. 532. His minute, 534. 
 
 Socrates, head of the feci: of the hen-pecked, N. 
 479. His domeftics, what, 486. The effect a dif- 
 courfe of his on marriage had with his audience, 
 500. 
 
 Soul, the excellency of it confidered in relation to 
 dreams, N. 487. 
 
 Sparkifh (Will) a modifh hufband, N. 479. 
 
 Spectator, his account of a coffee-houfe debate, re- 
 lating to the difference between count Rechteren and 
 monfieur Mefnager, 481. The different fenfe of his 
 readers upon the rife of his paper, and the Specta- 
 tor's propofals upon it, 488. His obfervations on 
 our modern poems, 523. His edict, ibid. The 
 effects of his difcourfes on marriage, ibid. Hits 
 deputation to J. Sly, haberdafher of hats, and 
 tobacconift, 526. The different judgments of his 
 readers concerning his fpeculations, 542. His rea- 
 fons for often calling his thoughts into a letter, 
 ibid. His project for the forming a new club, 550. 
 Vifits Mr. Motteux's warehoufes, £52. The great 
 concern the city is in upon his defign of laying 
 down his paper, 553. He takes his leave of the 
 town. 555. 
 
 Squires 
 
THE INDEX. 
 
 Squires (rural) their want of learning, N. 529. 
 Stripes, the ufe of them on perverfe wives, N. 479. 
 Surprife, the life of ftories, N. 538. 
 Swingers, a fet of familiar romps at Tunbridge, N» 
 492. 
 
 TERENCE, the Spectator's obfervations on one 
 of his plays, N. 502. 
 Thrafh (Will) and his wife, an infipid couple, N. 
 
 522. 
 Tickell (Mr.) his verfes to the Spectator, N. 532. 
 Titles, the flgnificancy, and abufe of them, N. 480. 
 Tom Trufty, a tender hufband, and careful father, N. 
 
 479- 
 Toper (Jack) his recommendatory letter in behalf of 
 
 a i'ervant, N. 493. 
 Travellers, the generality of them exploded, N. 474. 
 Truth, the excellence of it, N. J07. 
 Turner (Sir William) his excellent maxim, N. 509. 
 Tyrants, why fo called, N. 508. 
 
 V. 
 
 VINCI (Leonardo) his many accomplifhments and 
 remarkable circumftance at his death, N. 554. 
 Virtue, the ufe of it in our afflictions, N. 520. 
 
 W. 
 
 WEALTH, the father of love, N. 506. 
 Wedloc, the (late of it ridiculed by the town- 
 witlings, N. 525. 
 Wife, the mod: delightful name in nature, N. 490. 
 Winter-gardens recommended, and defcribed/N. 477. 
 William III. king of England, compared with the 
 
 French king, N. 516. 
 Wife (Mr.) the gardener? an heroic poet, N. 477- 
 Wit may purchafe riches, but is not to be purchafed 
 by riches, N. 522. 
 
 Wits 
 
.1 
 
 THE INDEX. 
 
 Wits minor, the feveral fpecies of them, N. 504. 
 
 wits ought not to pretend to be rich, 509. 
 Wives (perverfe) how to be managed* N. 479. 
 Women greater tyrants to their lovers, than hufbands, 
 
 N. 486. Reproved for their negledr of drefs after 
 
 they are married, 506. Their wonderful influence 
 
 upon the other fex, 510. 
 World of matter, and life, confidered by the Spectator, 
 
 N. 519. 
 
 The end of the feventh volume. 
 
 ERRATUM, 
 
 Page 91. in the motto, for engagements read en- 
 joyments. 
 
. --- s j — j,~.-^..v.. 7 *» i^imt poet, JN. 477- 
 
 Wit may purchafe riches, but is not to be purchafed 
 by riches, N. 522. 
 
 Wits 
 
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 tffci 
 
 
 
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