. /.yOv ' • >>.-V : . '•> / '■• ; • , • •/AVI.'* ■■ ■ ■ ■ •. ;.v . 1 • . ■ : . ‘ ■ ■ ’ ■ )•: I ■ ■ ■ v ■ ■ '^,4 : ' ' ' : i ■ ‘ ’V y^wy-. • • v v, • Y , I- , . ■> .V. foJ i v - '•¥ h \-%y r h- V - " F : • y VH V Y ' ■ - •• ti ' ■' - v :• : S v: ■ i .. ■■ ' ■ * ?. : »?. v ’ •„$ Y ? • A - •• ■ > J ,.!■ Y - -yyy y /Y« Y»YYYYp : ' s -v ■ v 1 -h : a' ■s • 1 \s .. :< ' Y . * . v ' h . : . • ' 'f.Yv : . S w-l-. !. } ± Xvn . r * -rwM. vvyif^. .'Aik. ■ ••• . Y , Y.Y ?' • '" v ;• ■ ■ • ■ . . ' : ' ■ • hSlv.Ci ■ ’K : - ■ ' >5 ■ Y ■: Y '■ : « s. ^ v ‘-: Ys />■■..&4 '■ si/ v y\y - 5. .K y \i V’TVK. '■ Y' ' ■■ i - •: ■ " ■ 'Y Y: xH ; j 41 • ‘t 'Y ;.v y ; v )’ ■. . . kv • \Y . Y' Y Y-'Y-Y-Y- ■ ■ • ■ 1 > i ■ . - : THE LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROLINA AT CHAPEL HILL PR3691 #a53 1817 v« 2 ENDOWED BY THE DIALECTIC AND PHILANTHROPIC SOCIETIES . _ - ■ VERSITY OFJWRTH_CA50UNA CARD Please keep this card in book pocket a 00000 87264 8 This book is due at the LOUIS R. WILSON LIBRARY on the * last date stamped under “Date Due.” If not on hold it may be renewed by bringing it to the library. , DATL RET DUE Khl DATE D L , T DIE RET ' i r _ -L J 1 1 I 1 * • 1 i U - ,, — . ] 1 1 1 1_1 _! Sp. : V 'iXst .iluH $ <4 MJW- ; , T. P^bEIvI ■ • ' ' ■> HjfjV ■ ; ikvjaVCf tfi yjppp: sBjr* ; \. . JB % / ' -■ ... . Digitized by the Internet Archive in 2020 with funding from University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill https://archive.org/details/miscellaneouswor02smol_0 THE MISCELLANEOUS WORKS OF X TOBIAS SMOLLETT, M.D WITH MEMOIRS HIS LIFE AND WRITIN BY ROBERT ANDERSON , M.D. THE FIFTH EDITION, IN SIX VOLUMES, VOLUME II. CONTAINING THE ADVENTURES OF PEREGRINE PICKLE, PART L EDINBURGH; 'HINTED FOR SILVESTER DOIG # ANDREW STIRLING; PETER FAIRBAIRN, EDINBURGH : W. OTRIDGE ; BALDWIN, n. scholey; g. cowie % co. ; r. fenner; w« H. REID, LONDON : WILSON <$• AND JOHNSTON $ DEAS, JOHN 1817 . Duncan Stevenson and Co. Printers, Edinburgh . II. He is made acquainted with the characters of Commodore Trunnion and his adherents; meets with them by accident, and contracts an intimacy with that commander.......—..5 III. Mrs. Grizzle exerts herself in finding a proper match for her brother, who is accordingly introduced to the young lady, whom he marries in due season.15 IV. The behaviour of Mrs. Grizzle at the wedding, with an account of the guests... ............19 V. Mrs. Pickle assumes the reins of government in her own family; her sister-in-law undertakes an enterprise of great moment; but is for some time diverted from her purpsoeby a very interesting consideration. 22 VI. Mrs. Grizzle is indefatigable in gratifying her sister’s longings. Pere¬ grine is born, and managed contrary to the directions and remonstrances of his aunt, who is disgusted upon that account; and resumes the plan which she had before rejected....gg VII. Divers stratagems are invented, and put in practice, in order to over¬ come the obstinacy of Trunnion, who at length is teazed and tortured into the noose of wedlock .. . . ...37 VIII. Preparations are made lor the commodore’s wedding, which is de¬ layed by an accident that hurried him the Lord knows Whither 4i IX. He is found by the lieutenant; reconducted to his own house; married to Mrs. Grizzle, who meets with a small misfortune in the night, and as¬ serts her prerogative next morning; in consequence of which her hus¬ band’s eye is endangered ........ 48 X. The commodore being in some cases restive, his lady has recourse to artifice in the establishment of her throne; she exhibits symptoms of pregnancy, to the unspeakable joy of Trunnion, Who nevertheless is baulked in his expectation...54 XL Mrs. Trunnion erects a tyranny in the garrison, while her husband conceives an affection for his nephew Perry, who manifests a peculiarity of disposition, even in his tender years .... 60 XII. Peregrine is sent to a boarding-school, becomes remarkable for his genius and ambition......64 XIII. The commodore takes Peregrine under his own care. The boy ar¬ rives at the garrison ; is strangely received by his own mother; enters into a confederacy with Hatchway and Pipes, and executes a couple of waggish enterprises upon his aunt,.*........ 71 IV CONTENTS Chap. XIV. He is also, by their device, engaged in an adventure with the exciseman, who does not find his account in his own drollery.80 XV. The commodore detects the machinations of the conspirators, and hires a tutor for Peregrine, whom he settles at Winchester school.85 XVI. Peregrine distinguishes himself among his school-fellows, exposes his tutor, and attracts the particular notice of the master.90 XVII. He is concerned in a dangerous adventure with a certain gardener; sublimes his ideas, commences gallant, and becomes acquainted with Miss Emily Gauntlet.94 XV11I. He inquires into the situation of this young lady, with whom he is enamoured ; elopes from school; is found by the lieutenant; conveyed to Winchester ; and sends a letter, with a copy of verses, to his mistress.102 XIX. His messenger meets with a misfortune, to which he applies a very extraordinary expedient, that is attended with strange consequences... 110 XX. Peregrine is summoned to attend his uncle; is more and more hated by his own mother; appeals to his father, w'hose condescension is de¬ feated by the dominion of his wife...115 XXI. Trunnion is enraged at the conduct of Pickle. Peregrine resents the injustice of his mother, to whom he explains his sentiments in a letter. Is entered at the university of Oxford, where he signalizes himself as a youth of an enterprising genius. 120 XXII. He is insulted by his tutor, whom he lampoons; makes a consider¬ able progress in polite literature; and, in an excursion to Windsor, meets with Emilia by accident, and is very coldly received.....125 XXIII. After sundry unsuccessful efforts, he finds means to come to an explanation with his mistress; and a reconciliation ensues......132 XXIV. He achieves an adventure at the assembly, and quarrels with his governor. 140 XXV. He receives a letter from his aunt, breaks with the commodore, and disobliges the lieutenant, who, nevertheless, undertakes his cause.146 XXVI. He becomes melancholy and despondent; is favoured with a con¬ descending letter from his uncle; reconciles himself to his governor; and sets out with Emilia and her friend for Mrs. Gauntlet’s house.153 XXVII. They meet with a dreadful alarm on the road; arrive at their journey’s end. Peregrine is introduced to Emily’s brother; these two young gentlemen misunderstand each other. Pickle departs for the gar¬ rison. 157 XXVIII. Peregrine is overtaken by Mr. Gauntlet, with whom he fights a duel, and contracts an intimate friendship. He arrives at the garrison, and finds his mother as implacable as ever. He is insulted by his brother Gam, whose preceptor he disciplines with a horse-whip.......164 XXIX. He projects a plan of revenge, which is executed against the cu¬ rate..170 XXX. Mr. Sackbut and his pupil conspire against Peregrine, who, being apprised of their design by his sister, takes measures for counterworking their scheme, which is executed by mistake upon Mr. Gauntlet. This CONTENT?. V young soldier meets with a cordial reception from the commodore, who generously decoys him into his own interest...175 Chap. XXXI. The two young gentlemen display their talents for gallantry, in the course of which they are involved in a ludicrous circumstance of distress, and afterwards take vengeance on the author of their mishap.182 XXXII. The commodore sends a challenge to Gamaliel, and is imposed upon by a waggish invention of the lieutenant, Peregrine, and Gauntlet.188 XXXIIT. Peregrine takes leave of his aunt; sets out from the garrison ; parts with his uncle and Hatchway on the road ; and, with his governor, arrives in safety at Dover.192 XXXIV. He adjusts the method of his correspondence with Gauntlet ; meets by accident with an Italian charlatan, and a certain apothecary, who proves to be a noted character.195 XXXV. He embarks for France; is overtaken by a storm; is surprised with the appearance of Pipes ; lands at Calais, and has an affray with the officers of the custom-honse.202 XXXVI. He makes a fruitless attempt in gallantry; departs for Boulogne, where he spends the evening with certain English exiles.209 XXXVIf. Proceeds for the capital; takes up his lodgings at Bernay, where he is overtaken by Mr. Hornbeck, whose head he longs to fortify.215 XXXVIII. They set out in company, breakfast at Abbeville, dine at Amiens, and, about eleven o’clock, arrive at Chantilly, where Peregrine executes a plan which he had concerted upon Hornbeck . 219 XXXIX. He is involved in an adventure at Paris, and taken prisoner by the city guard. Becomes acquainted with a French nobleman, who in¬ troduces him in the beau monde.. 223 XL. Acquires a distinct idea of the French government. Quarrels with a mousquetaire, whom he afterwards fights and vanquishes, after having punished him for interfering in his amorous recreations.230 XLI. Mr. Jolter threatens to leave him, on account of his misconduct, which he promises to rectify; but his resolution is defeated by the im¬ petuosity of his passion. He meets accidentally with Mrs. Hornbeck, who elopes with him from her husband, but is restored by the interpo¬ sition of the British ambassador... 237 XLII. Peregrine resolves to return to England. Is diverted with the odd characters of two of his countrymen, with w hom he contracts an acquaint¬ ance in the apartments of the Palais Royal...24 5 XLIII. He introduces his new friends to Mr. Jolter, with whom the doctor enters into a dispute upon government, which had w'ell nigh terminated in open war.252 XL1V. The doctor prepares an entertainment in the manner of the ancients, which is attended with divers ridiculous circumstances. 257 XLV. The painter is persuaded to accompany Pickle to a masquerade in woman’s apparel. Is engaged in a troublesome adventure, and, with his companion, conveyed to the Bastile. 26G XLVI; By the fidelity of Pipes, Jolter is informed of his pupil’s fate. Con- VI CONTENTS fers with the physician. Applies to the ambassador,- who, #lth great dif¬ ficulty, obtains the discharge of the prisoners on certain conditions;....271 Chap. XLVII. Peregrine makes himself merry at the expence Of the painter# who curses his landlady, and breaks with the doctor.....;..;....275 XLVII 1. Pallet conceives a hearty contempt of his fellow-traveller# anti attaches himself to Pickle, who, nevertheless, persecutes him With his mischievous talents upon the road to Flanders.282 XLIX. Nor is the physician sacred from his ridicule. They reach Arras, where our adventurer engages in play with two French officers, who next morning give the landlord an interesting proof of their importance.283 L. Peregrine moralizes upon their behaviour, which is condemned by the doctor, and defended by the governor. They arrive in safety at Lisle $ dine at an ordinary ; visit the citadel. The physician quarrels with a North Briton, who is put in arrest.293 LI. Pickle engages with a knight of Malta in a conversation upon the English stage, which is followed by a dissertation on the theatres of the ancients by the doctor...29S LII. An adventure happens to Pipes, in consequence of which he is dismissed from Peregrine’s service. The whole company set out for Ghent in the diligence. Our hero is captivated by a lady in that carriage. Interests her spiritual director in his behalf.303 LIII. He makes some progress in her affections. Is interrupted by a dispute , between Jolter and the Jew. Appeases the wrath of the capuchin, who procures for him an interview with his fair enslaver, in which he finds himself deceived...... 309 LIV. He makes another effort towards the accomplishment of his wish, which is postponed by a strange accident.......314 LV. They depart from Ghent. Our hero engages in a political dispute with his mistress, whom he offends, and pacifies with submission. He prac¬ tises an expedient to detain the carriage at Alost, and confirms the priest in his interest ...318 LVI. The French coquette entraps the heart of the Jew, against whom Pallet enters into a conspiracy, by which Peregrine is again disappointed, and the Hebrew’s incontinence exposed.. • •♦•••• ••• • r* • • • •••• *•••••••• 323 LVII. Pallet, endeavouring to unravel the mystery of the treatment he had received, falls out of the fiying-pau into the fire.. 327 LVIII. Peregrine, almost distracted with his disappointments, conjures the fair Fleming to permit his visits at Brussels. She withdraws from his pursuit. 333 LIX. Peregrine meets with Mrs. Ilornbeck, and is consoled for his loss. His valet de chambre is embroiled with her duenna, whom, however, he finds means to appease. 343 LX. Hornbeck is informed of his wife’s adventure with Peregrine, for whom he prepares a stratagem, which is rendered ineffectual by the information of Pipes. The husband is ducked for his intention, and our hero appre¬ hended by the patrole. 347 LXI. Peregrine is released. Jolter confounded at his mysterious conduct. CONTENTS. • 4 Vll A contest happens between the poet and painter, who are reconciled by the mediation of their fellow-travellers.352 Chap. LXII. The travellers depart for Antwerp, at which place the painter gives a loose to his enthusiasm.358 LX 111. Peregrine artfully foments a quarrel between Pallet and the physi¬ cian, who fight a duel on the ramparts...364 LXIV. The doctor exults in his victory. They set out for Rotterdam, where they are entertained by two Dutch gentlemen in a yacht, which Is overturned in the Maese, to the manifest hazard of the painter’s life. They spend the evening with their entertainers, and next day visit a cabinet of curiosities.372 LXV. They proceed to the Hague, from whence they depart for Amsterdam, where they see a Dutch tragedy. Visit the music-house, in which Pere¬ grine quarrels with the captain of a man of war. They pass through Haarlem, in their way to Leyden. Return to Rotterdam, where the com¬ pany separates, and our hero, with his attendants, arrive in safety at Harwich. 378 LXVI. Peregrine delivers his letters of recommendation at London, and returns to the garrison, to the unspeakable joy of the commodore and his whole family ..383 LXVII. Sees his sister happily married. Visits Emilia, who receives him according to his deserts. 390 LXVIII. He attends his uncle with great affection during a fit of illness. Sets out again for London. Meets with his friend Godfrey, who is pre¬ vailed upon to accompany him to Bath; on the road to which place they chance to dine with a person who entertains them with a curious account of a certain company of adventurers.395 LXIX. Godfrey executes a scheme at Bath, by which a whole company of sharpers is ruined.......... 400 LXX. The two friends eclipse all their competitors in gallantry, and prac¬ tise a pleasant pioject of revenge upon the physicians of the place.404 LXXI. Peregrine humbles a noted Hector, and meets with a strange cha¬ racter, at the house of a certain lady. 412 LXXI!. He cultivates an acquaintance with the misanthrope, who favours him with a short sketch of his own history...417 LXXIII. Peregrine arrives at the garrison, where he receives the last ad¬ monitions of Commodore Trunnion, who next day resigns his breath, and is buried according to his own directions. Some gentlemen in the coun«* try make a fruitless attempt to accommodate matters betwixt Mr. Ga¬ maliel Pickle and his eldest son.424 LXXIV. The young gentleman having settled his domestic affairs, arrives in London, apd sets up a gay equipage. He meets with Emilia, and is introduced to her uncle.429 LXXV. He prosecutes his design upon Emilia with great art and perse¬ verance ..........434 LXXVI. He prevails upon Emilia to accompany him to a masquerade, makes VIII CONTENTS. a treacherous attempt upon her affection, and meets with a deserved re¬ pulse.,.439 Chap. LXXV1I. He endeavours to reconcile himself to his mistress, and expostulates with the uncle, who forbids him the house.446 LXXVT1I, He projects a violent scheme, in consequence of which he is involved in a most fatiguing adventure, which greatly tends towards the augmentation of his chagrin.449 LXXIX. Peregrine sends a message to Mrs. Gauntlet, who rejects his pro¬ posal. He repairs to the garrison.... .457 LXXX. He returns to London, and meets with Cadwallader, who enter¬ tains him with many curious particulars. Crabtree sounds the duchess, and undeceives Pickle, who, by an extraordinary accident, becomes ac¬ quainted with another lady of quality...461 ADVERTISEMENT TO THE THIRD EDITION. At length Peregrine Pickle makes his appearance in a new edition, in spite of all the art and industry that were used to stifle him in the birth, by certain booksellers and others, who were at uncommon pains to misrepresent the work and ca¬ lumniate the author. The performance was decried as an immoral piece, and a scurrilous libel; the author was charged with having defamed the characters of particular persons, to whom he lay under considerable obligations: and some formidable critics declared, that the book was void of humour, character, and sentiment. These charges, had they been supported by proof, would have certainly damned the writer and all his works; and even unsupported as they were, had an unfavourable effect with the public: but, luckily for him, his real character was not unknown; and some readers were determined to judge for themselves, rather than trust implicitly to the allegations of his enemies. The book was found not altogether unworthy of their recommendation; a very large impression has been sold in England; another was bought up in a neighbouring king¬ dom ; the work has been translated into the French language; and the demand for the original lately increased in England. It was the author’s duty, therefore, as well as his interest, to oblige the public with this edition, which he has endeavoured to render less unworthy of their acceptance, by retrenching the superfluities of the first, reforming its manners, and cor¬ recting its expression. Divers uninteresting incidents are wholly suppressed : some humorous scenes he has endeavour¬ ed to heighten; and he flatters himself that he has expunged every adventure, phrase, and insinuation, that could be con¬ strued by the most delicate reader into a trespass upon the rules of decorum. Vol, JL ft X He owns, with contrition, that, in one or two instances, he gave way too much to the suggestions of personal resentment, and represented characters as they appeared to him at that time, through the exaggerating medium of prejudice : but he has in this impression endeavoured to make atonement for these extravagancies. Howsoever he may have erred in point of judgment or discretion, he defies the whole world to prove that he was ever guilty of one act of malice, ingratitude, or dishonour. This declaration he may be permitted to make, without incurring the imputation of vanity or presumption, considering the numerous shafts of envy, rancour, and re¬ venge, that have lately, both in private and in public, been levelled at his reputation. THE ADVENTURES OF PEREGRINE PICKLE. CHAPTER I. An account of Mr Gamaliel Pickle—the disposition of his sis¬ ter described—he yields to her solicitations, and retires to the country. In a certain county of England, bounded on one side by the sea, and at the distance of one hundred miles from the metropolis, lived Gamaliel Pickle, Esquire, the father of that hero whose adventures we purpose to record. He was the son of a merchant in London, who (like Rome) from small beginnings had raised himself to the highest honours of the city, and acquired a plentiful fortune, though, to his infinite regret, he died before it amounted to a plum, conjuring his son, as he respected the last injunction of a parent, to imi¬ tate his industry, andadherb to his maxims, until he should have made up the deficiency, which was a sum considerably less than fifteen thousand pounds. This pathetic remonstrance had the desired effect upon his representative, who spared no pains to fulfil the request of the deceased, but exerted all the capacity with which na¬ ture had endowed him in a series of efforts, which, however, did not succeed; for, by the time he had been fifteen years in trade, he found himself five thousand pounds worse than he was when he first took possession of his father’s effects; a cir¬ cumstance that affected him so nearly, as to detach his in¬ clinations from business, and induce him to retire from the Vol, II. A 2 THE ADVENTURES OF world, to some place where he might at leisure deplore his misfortunes, and by frugality secure himself from want and the apprehensions of a jail, with which his imagination was incessantly haunted. He was often heard to express his fears of coming upon the parish, and to bless God, that, on ac¬ count of his having been so long a housekeeper, he was entit¬ led to that provision. In short, his talents were not naturally active, and there was a sort of inconsistency in his charac¬ ter; for, with all the desire of amassing which any citizen could possibly entertain, he was encumbered by a certain indolence and sluggishness that prevailed over every inte¬ rested consideration, and even hindered him from profiting by the singleness of apprehension and moderation of appe¬ tites, which have so frequently conduced to the acquisition of immense fortunes—qualities which lie possessed in a very remarkable degree. Nature, in all probability, had mixed little or nothing inflammable in his composition ; or, what¬ ever seeds of excess she might have sown within him, were effectually stifled and destroyed by the austerity of his edu¬ cation. The sallies of his youth, far from being inordinate Or cri¬ minal, never exceeded the bounds of that decent jollity, which an extraordinary pot, on extraordinary occasions, may be supposed to have produced in a club of sedate book¬ keepers, whose imaginations were neither very warm nor luxuriant. Little subject to refined sensations, he was scarce ever disturbed with violent emotions of any kind. The pas¬ sion of love never interrupted his tranquillity ; and if, as Mr. Creech says after Horace, Not to admire is all the art I know. To make men happy, and to keep them so, Mr Pickle was undoubtedly possessed of that invaluable secret; at least he was never known to betray the faintest symptom of transport, except one evening at the club, where he observed, with some demonstrations of vivacity, that he liad dined upon a delicate loin of veal. Notwithstanding this appearance of phlegm, he could not help feeling his disappointments in trade; and, upon the fail¬ ure of’ a certain underwriter, by which he lost five hundred PEREGRINE PICKLE. pounds, declared his design of relinquishing business, and retiring to the country. In this resolution he was comforted and encouraged by his only sister, Mrs Grizzle, who had managed his family since the death of his father, and was nowin the thirtieth year of her maidenhood, with a fortune of five thousand pounds, and a large stock of economy and devotion. These qualifications, one would think, might have been the means of abridging the term of her celibacy, as she never expressed any aversion to wedlock ; but it seems she was too delicate in her choice to find a mate to her inclination in the city ; for I cannot suppose that she remained so long un¬ solicited, though the charms of her person were not alto¬ gether enchanting, nor her manner over and above agree¬ able. Exclusive of a very wan (not to call it sallow) com¬ plexion, which perhaps was the effects of her virginity and mortification, she had a cast in her eyes that was not at all engaging, and such an extent of mouth, as no art or affec¬ tation could contract into any proportionable dimension : then her piety was rather peevish than resigned, and did not in the least diminish a certain stateliness in her demeanour and conversation, that delighted in communicating the im¬ portance and honour of her family, which, by the by, was not to be traced two generations back, by all the powers of heraldry or tradition. She seemed to have renounced all the ideas she had ac¬ quired before her father served the office of sheriff; and the era which regulated the dates of all her observations was the mayoralty of her papa. Nay, so solicitous was this good lady for the support and propagation of the family name, that, suppressing every selfish motive, she actually prevailed upon her brother to combat with his own disposition, and even surmount it so far as to declare a passion for the person whom he afterwards wedded, as we shall see in the sequel. Indeed she was the spur that instigated him in all his extra¬ ordinary undertakings ; and I question whether or not lie would have been able to disengage himself from that course ®f life in which he had so long mechanically moved, un- 4 THE ADVENTURES OF less he had been roused and actuated by her incessant ex¬ hortations. London, she observed, was a resceptacle of ini¬ quity, where an honest unsuspecting man was every day in danger of falling a sacrifice to craft; where innocence was exposed to continual temptations, and virtue eternally per¬ secuted by malice and slander ; where every thing was ruled by caprice and corruption, and merit utterly discou¬ raged and despised. This last imputation she pronounced with such emphasis and chagrin, as plainly denoted how far she considered herself as an example of what she advan¬ ced ; and really the charge was justified by the constructions that were put upon her retreat by her female friends, who, far from imputing it to the laudable motives that induced her, insinuated, in sarcastic commendations, that she had good reason to be dissatisfied with a place where she had been so long overlooked ; and that it was certainly her wisest course to make her last effort in the country, where, in all probability, her talents would be less eclipsed,and her fortune more attractive. Be this as it will, her admonitions, though they were powerful enough to convince, would have been insufficient to overcome the langour and vis inertia of her brother, had she not reinforced her arguments, by calling in question the credit of two or three merchants, with whom he was em¬ barked in trade. Alarmed at these hints of intelligence, he exerted himself effectually : he withdrew his money from trade, and laying it out in bank stock and India bonds, removed to a house in the country, which his father had built near the sea¬ side, for the convenience of carrying on a certain branch of traffic in which he had been deeply concerned. Here, then, Mr Pickle fixed his habitation for life, in the six-and-thirtieth year of his age ; and though the pangs he felt at parting with his intimate companions, and quit¬ ting all his former connections, were not quite so keen as to produce any dangerous disorder in his'constitution, he did not fail to be extremely disconcerted it his first entrance into a scene of life to which he was totany a stranger. Not PEREGRINE PICKLE. 5 but that he met with abundance of people in the country* who, in consideration of his fortune, courted his acquaint¬ ance, and breathed nothing but friendship and hospitali¬ ty; yet even the trouble of receiving and returning these civilities was an intolerable fatigue to a man of his habits and disposition. He therefore left the care of the ceremonial to his sister, who indulged herself in all the pride of formali¬ ty, while he himself, having made a discovery of a public house in the neighbourhood, went thither every evening, and enjoyed his pipe and cann, being very well satisfied with the behaviour of the landlord, whose communicative temper was a great comfort to his own taciturnity ; for he shunned all superfluity of speech as much as he avoided any other unnecessary expence. CHAPTER II. He is made acquainted with the characters of Commodore Trunnion and his adherents—meets with them by accident , and contracts an intimacy with that commander . This loquacious publican soon gave him sketches of all the characters in the county, and, among others, described that of his next neighbour, Commodore Trunnion, which was altogether singular and odd. 4 The commodore and your worship , 1 said he, c will in a short time be hand and /glove: he has a power of money, and spends it like a prince, that is, in his own way; for, to be sure, he is a little humoursome, as the saying is, and swears woundilv, though I’ll be sworn he means no more harm than a sucking babe. Lord help us! it will do your honour’s heart good to hear him tell a story, as how he lay alongside of the French, yard¬ arm and yard-arm, board and board, and of heaving grap- plings, and stinkpots, and grapes, and round and double¬ headed partridges, crows, and carters—Laud have mercy upon.us! he has been a great warrior in his time, and lost an eye and a heel in the service. Then he does not live like any other Christian land-man, but keeps garrison in his house 1) THE ADVENTURES OF as if he were in the midst of his enemies, and makes his ser¬ vants turn out in the night, watch and watch (as he calls it), all the year round. His habitation is defended by a ditch, over which he has laid a drawbridge, and planted his courtyard with patereroes continually loaded with shot,under the direction of one Mr Hatchway, who had one of his legs shot away, while he acted as lieutenant on board the com¬ modore's ship; and now being on half pay, lives with him as his companion. The lieutenant is a very brave man, a great joker, and, as the saying is, hath got the length of his commander's foot; though he has another favourite in the house, called Tom Pipes, that was his boatswain's mate, and now keeps the servants in order. Tom is a man of few words, but an excellent hand at a song, hussle-cap, and chuck-farthing. Concerning the botswain's whistle, there is not such another pipe in the county. So that the com¬ modore lives very happy in his own manner ; thof he be sometimes thrown into perilous passions and quandaries, by the application of his poor kinsmen, whom he can’t abide, because as how some of them were the first occasion of his going to sea. Then he sweats with agony at the sight of an attorney ; just for all the world, as some people have an anti¬ pathy to a cat; for it seems he was once at law for striking one of his officers, and cast in a swinging sum. He is, more¬ over, exceedingly afflicted with goblins that disturb his rest, and keep such a racket in his house, that you would think (God bless us!) all the devils in hell had broke loose upon him. It was no longer ago than last year about this time, that he was tormented the livelong night by two mischie¬ vous spirits that got into his chamber, and played a thou¬ sand pranks about his hammock (for there is not one bed within his walls). Well, Sir, he rung his bell, called up all his servants, got lights, and made a thorough search; but the devil a goblin was to be found. He had no sooner turned in again, and the rest of the family gone to sleep, than the foul fiends began their game anew. The commo¬ dore got up in the dark, drew his cutlass, and attacked them both so manfully, that, in five minutes, every thing in the PEREGRINE PICKLE. 7 apartment went to pieces. The lieutenant, hearing the noise, came to his assistance. Tom Pipes, being told what was the matter, lighted his match, and going down to the yard, fired all the patereroes as signals of distress. Well, to be sure, the whole parish was in a pucker; some thought the French had landed ; others imagined the commodore’s house was beset by thieves; for my own part, I called up two dragoons that are quartered upon me, and they swore, with deadly oaths, it was a gang of smugglers engaged with a party of their regiment that lies in the next yiU lage ; and mounting their horses, like lusty fellows, rode up into the country as fast as their beasts could carry them. Ah, master, these are hard times, when an industrious body cannot earn his bread without fear of the gallows. Your worship’s father (God rest his soul!) was a good gentleman, and as well respected in this parish as e’er a he that walks upon neat’s leather. And if your honour should want a small parcel of fine tea, or a few ankers of right Nants, I’ll be bound you shail be furnished to your heart’s content. But, as I was saying, the hubbub continued till morning, when the parson being sent for, conjured the spirits into the Red Sea ; and the house has been pretty quiet ever since. True it is, Mr Hatchway makes a mock of the whole affair ; and told his commander in this very blessed spot, that the two goblins were no other than a couple of jackdaws which had fallen down the chimney, and made a flapping with their wings up and down the apartment. But the commodore, who is very choleric, and does not like to be jeered, fell into a main high passion, and stormed like a perfect hur¬ ricane, swearing that he knew a devil from a jackdaw as w T ell as e’er a man in the three kingdoms. He owned, in¬ deed, that the birds were found, but denied that they were the occasion of the uproar. For my own part, master, I believe much may be said on both sides of the question, tliof, to be sure, the devil is al ways going about, as the saying is.’ This circumstantial account, extraordinary as it was, ne¬ ver altered one feature in the countenance of Mr Pickle, who having heard it to an end, took the pipe from his mouth* 8 THE ADVENTURES 0E saying, with a look of infinite sagacity and deliberation,— 6 I do suppose lie is of the Cornish Trunnions. What sort of a woman is his spouse ?’ 6 Spouse !’ cried the other, 4 odds heart! I don’t think he would marry the queen of Sheba, Lack-a-day ! Sir, he won’t suffer his own maids to lie in the garrison, but turns them into an out-house every night before the watch is set. Bless your honour’s soul, he is, as it were, a very oddish kind of a gentleman. Your worship would have seen him before now; for when he is well, he and my good master Hatchway come hither every even¬ ing, and drink a couple of canns of rumbo a-piece ; but he has been confined to his house this fortnight by a plaguy fit of the gout, which, I’ll assure your worship, is a good penny out of my pocket.’ At that instant, Mr Pickle’s ears were saluted with such a strange noise, as even discomposed the muscles of his face, which gave immediate indications of alarm. This com¬ position of notes, at first, resembled the crying of quails and croaking of bull-frogs ; but, as it approached nearer, he could distinguish articulate sounds pronounced with great violence, in such a cadence as one would expect to hear from a human creature scolding through the organs of an ass. It was neither speaking nor braying, but a surprising mixture of both, employed in the utterance of terms abso¬ lutely unintelligible to our wondering merchant, who had just opened his mouth to express his curiosity, when the landlord, starting up at the well-known sound, cried, 4 Odds nigers ! there is the commodore with his company, as sure as I live;’ and with his apron began to wipe the dust off an elbow chair placed at one side of the fire, and kept sacred for the ease and convenience of this infirm commander. While he was thus occupied, a voice still more uncouth than the former hauled aloud, 4 IIo ! the house, a hoy !’ Upon which the publican, clapping a hand to each side of his head, with his thumbs fixed to his ears, rebellowed in the same tone, which he had learned to imitate, 4 hilloah.’ The voice again exclaimed, have you got any attorneys aboard ? and when the landlord replied, 4 no, no,’ this peregrine pickle. man of strange expectation came in, supported by bis two dependents, and displayed a figure every way answerable to the oddity of his character. He was in stature at least six feet high, though he had contracted a habit of stooping, by living so long on board ; his complexion was tawny, and his aspect rendered hideous by a large scar across his nose, and a patch that covered the place of one eye. Be¬ ing seated in his chair with great formality, the landlord com¬ plimented him upon his being able to come abroad again ; and having, in a whisper, communicated the name of his fellow guest, whom the commodore already knew by report, went to prepare, with all imaginable dispatch, the first allowance of his favourite liquor, in three separate canns (for each was accommodated with his own portion apart), while the lieutenant sat down on the blind side of his com¬ mander ; and Tom Pipes, knowing his distance, with great modesty, took his station in the rear. After a pause of some minutes, the conversation was begun by this ferocious chief, who, fixing his eye upon the lieutenant with a sternness of countenance not to be described, adressed him in these words. 4 Damn my eyes ! Hatchway, I always took you to be a bet¬ ter seaman than to overset our chaise in such fair weather. Blood ! did’nt I tell you we were running bump ashore, and bid you set in the lee-brace, and haul upon a wind ?' 4 Yes,* (replied the other with an arch sneer), 4 I do confess as how you did give such orders, after you had run us foul of a post, so as that the carriage lay along, and could not right herself , 1 4 I run you foul of a post I 1 cried the commander ; ‘ damn my heart! you're a pretty dog, an't you, to tell me so aboveboard to my face ? Did I take charge of the chaise? Did I stand at the helm P 1 4 No , 1 answered Hatchway, e I must confess you did not steer ; but howsomever, you cunned all the way-, and so, as you could not see how the land lay, being blind of your larboard eye, we were fast ashore, before you knew any thing of the matter. Pipes, who stood abaft, can testify the truth of what I say,’ 4 Damn my limbs l 1 resumed the commodore, * I don't value what you or Pipes say a y op e-yarn, Y ou're a couple of mutinous—- 10 THE ADVENTURES OP I’ll say no more; bat you shan’t run your rig upon me, damn ye. 1 am the man that learnt you, Jack Hatchway, to splice a rope, and raise a perpendicular.’ The lieutenant, who was perfectly well acquainted with the trim of his captain, did not choose to carry on the alterca¬ tion any farther ; but taking up his cann, drank to the health of the stranger, who very courteously returned the com¬ pliment, without, however, presuming to join in the con¬ versation, which suffered a considerable pause. During this interruption, Mr Hatchway’s wit displayed itself in several practical jokes upon the commodore, with whom, he knew, it was dangerous to tamper in any other way. Being with¬ out the sphere of his vision, he securely pilfered his tobacco, drank his rumbo, made wry faces, and (to use the vulgar phrase) cocked his eye at him, to the no small entertain¬ ment of the spectators, Mr. Pickle himself not excepted, who gave evident tokens of uncommon satisfaction at the dexterity of this marine pantomime. Meanwhile, the captain’s choler gradually subsided, and he was pleased to desire Hatch way, by the familiar and friend¬ ly diminutive of Jack, to read a newspaper that lay on the table before him. This task was accordingly undertaken by the lame lieutenant, who, among other paragraphs, read that which follows, with an elevation of voice that seemed to prognosticate something extraordinary : 4 We are informed that Admiral Bower will very soon be created a British peer, for his eminent services during the war, particularly in his late engagement with the French fleet.’ Trunnion was thun¬ derstruck at this piece of intelligence. The mug dropped from his hand and shivered into a thousand pieces; his eye glistened like that of a rattlesnake, and some minutes elapsed before he could pronounce, ‘ avast! overhaul that article again.’ It was no sooner read the second time, than smit¬ ing the table with his fist, he started up, and, with the most violent emphasis of rage and indignation, exclaimed, ‘ Damn my heart and liver! ’tis a land lie, d’ye see ; and I will maintain it to be a lie, from the sprit-sail yard to the mizen- top-sail haulyards! Blood and thunder ! Will Bower a peer feregrine pickle. li of this realm ! a fellow of yesterday, that scarce knows a mast from a manger; a snotty-nose boy, whom I myself have ordered to the gun, for stealing eggs out of the hencoops ! and I, Hawser Trunnion, who commanded a ship before he could keep a reckoning, am laid aside, d'ye see, and for¬ gotten ! If so be as this be the case, there is a rotten plank in our constitution, which ought to be hove down and repair¬ ed, d—n my eyes ! For my own part, d’ye see, I was none of your Guinea pigs; I did not rise in the service by par- liamenteering interest or a handsome b— of a wife. I was not hoisted over the bellies of better men,nor strutted athwart the quarter-deck in a laced doublet, and thingumbobs at the wrists. Damn ray limbs ! I have been a hard-working man, and served all offices on board, from cook’s shifter to the command of a vessel Here, you Tunley, there’s the hand of a seaman, you dog.’ So saying, he laid hold on the land¬ lord’s fist, and honoured him with such a squeeze, as com¬ pelled him to roar with great vociferation, to the infinite satisfaction of the commodore, whose features were a little unbended by this acknowledgment of his vigour ; and he thus proceeded in a less outrageous strain.— 4 They make a damn’d noise about this engagement with the French ; but egad ! it was no more than a bumboat battle, in comparison with some that I have seen. There was old Rook and Jen¬ nings, and another whom I’ll be damn'd before I name, that knew what fighting was. As for my own share, d’ye see, I am none of those that hollow in their own commen¬ dation ; but if so be that I were minded to stand my own trumpeter, some of those little fellows that hold their heads so high, would be taken all aback, as the saying is ; they would be ashamed to show their colours, damn my eyes ! I once lay eight glasses along-side of the Flour de Louse, a French man of war, though her metal was heavier, and her complement larger by an hundred hands than mine. You, Jack Hatchway, damn ye, what d’ye grin at ? D’ye think I tell a story, because you never heard it before ?’ e Why, look ye, Sir,’ answered the lieutenant, 4 1 am glad to find you can stand your own trumpeter on occasion; THE ADVENTURES OP 1 * 1 /V thof I wish’you’would change the tune; for that is the same you have been piping every watch for these ten months past. Tunley himself will tell you, he has heard it five hundred times.’ 4 God forgive you, Mr Hatchway,’ said the landlord, interrupting him, 4 as I am an honest man and a housekeeper, 1 never heard a syllab of the matter.’ This declaration, though not strictly true, was extremely agreeable to Mr Trunnion, who, with an air of triumph, observed, 4 Aha ! Jack, I thought I should bring you up, with your jibes and your jokes: but suppose you had heard it before, is that any reason why it shouldn’t be told to an¬ other person? There’s the stranger,belike he has heard it five hundred times too; han’t you, brother?’ addressing himself to Mr Pickle; who replied, with a look expressing curi¬ osity, 4 no, never,’ he thus went on :— 4 Well, you seem to be an honest quiet sort of a man ; and therefore you must know, as I said before, I fell in with a French man of war, CapeFinisfcerre bearing about six leagues on the weather bow, and the chase three leagues to leeward, going before the wind ; whereupon l set my studding-sails, and, coming up with her, hoisted my jack and ensign, and poured in a whole broadside, before you could count three rattlins in the mizen shrouds ; for I always keep a good look out, and love to have the first fire.’ 4 That I’ll be sworn,’ said Hatch¬ way ; 4 for the day we made the Triumph, you ordered the men to fire when she was hull-to, by the same token we be¬ low pointed the guns at a flight of gulls ; and I won a cann of punch from the gunner, by killing the first bird.’ Exas¬ perated at this sarcasm, he replied with great vehemence,— 4 You lie, lubber ! damn your bones ! what business have you to come always athwart my hause in this manner? You Tipes, was upon deck, aud can bear witness, whether or not I fired too soon. Speak you blood of a —, and that upon the word of a seaman ; how did the chase bear of us, when I gave orders to fire ?’ Pipes, who had hitherto sat silent, being thus called upon to give bis evidence, after divers strange gesticulations, opened his mouth like a gasping cod, and, with a cadence PEREGRINE PICKLE. IS like that of the east wind singing through a cranny, pro¬ nounced, 6 Half a quarter of a league, right upon our lee- beam.’ 6 Nearer, you porpuss-fac’d swab !’ (cried the com¬ modore) 4 nearer by twelve fathom ; but howsomever, that’s enough to prove the falsehood of Hatchway’s jaw—and so, brother, d’ye see, (turning to Mr. Pickle,) I lay alongside of the Flour de Louse ? yard-arm and yard-arm, plying our great guns and small-arms, and heaving in stink-pots, pow¬ der-bottles, and hand grenades, till our shot was all ex¬ pended, double-headed, partridge, and grape ; then we loaded with iron-crows, mariinspikes, and old nails ; but finding the Frenchman took a great deal of drubbing, and that he had shot away all our rigging, and killed and wounded a great number of our men, d’ye see, I resolved to run him on board upon his quarter, and so ordered our grapplings to be got ready : but Monsieur, perceiving what we were about, filled his top-sails, and sheered off, leaving us like a log upon the water, and our scuppers running with blood ’ Mr Pickle and the landlord paid such extraordinary at¬ tention to the rehearsal of this exploit, that Trunnion was encouraged to entertain them with more stories of the same nature ; after which he observed, by way of encomium on the government, that all he had gained in the service was a lame foot and the loss of an eye. The lieutenant, who could not find in his heart to lose any opportunity of being witty at the expense of his commander, gave a loose to his satiri¬ cal talent once more, saying, 4 I have heard as how you came by your lame foot, by having your upper-decks overstovved with liquor, whereby you became crank, and rolled, d’ye see, in such a manner, that, by a pitch of the ship, your starboard heel was jammed in one of the scuppers ; and as lor the matter of your eye, that was knocked out by your own crew when the Lightning was paid off: there’s poor Pipes, who was beaten into all the colours of the rainbow for taking your part, and giving you time to sheer off; and I don’t find as bow you have rewarded him according as lie deserves.’ As the commodore could not deny the truth 14 THE ADVENTURES OE of these anecdotes, however unseasonably they were intro¬ duced, he affected to receive them with good humour, as jokes of the lieutenant’s own inventing; and replied,— 4 Ay, ay, Jack, every body knows your tongue is no slander; but howsomever, I’ll work you to an oil for this, you dog.’ So saying, lie lifted up one of* his crutches, intending to lay it gently across Mr Hatchway’s pate ; but Jack, with great agility, tilted up his wooden leg, with which he warded off the blow, to the no small admiration of Mr Pickle, and utter astonishment of the landlord, who, by the bye, had ex¬ pressed the same amazement, at the same feat, at the same hour, every night for three months before. Trunnion then directing his eye to the boatswain’s mate, 4 You, Pipes,’ said lie, 4 do you go about and tell people that I did not reward you for standing by me when I was hussled by these rebel¬ lious rapscallions ; d—n you, han’t you been rated on the books ever since ?’ Tom, who, indeed, had no words to spare, sat smoaking his pipe with great indifference, and never dreamed of paying any regard to these interrogations ; which being repeated and reinforced with many oaths, that, however, produced no effect, the commodore pulled out liis purse, saying, 4 Here, you bitch’s baby, here’s something better than a smart ticket ;’ and threw it at his silent de¬ liverer, who received and pocketed his bounty without the least demonstration of surprise or satisfaction ; while the donor, turning to Mr Pickle,— 4 You see, brother,’ said he, ‘ I make good the old saying, we sailors get money like horses, and spend it like asses : come, Pipes, let’s have the boatswain's whistle, and be jovial' This musician accord- inglv applied to his mouth the silver instrument that hung at a button-hole of ids jacket, by a chain of the same metal, and, though not quite so ravishing as the pipe of Hermes, produced a sound so loud and shrill, that the stranger (as it were instinctively) stopped his ears, to preserve his organs of hearing from such a dangerous invasion. The prelude being thus executed. Pipes fixed his eyes upon the egg of an ostrich that depended from the ceiling, and without once moving them from that object, performed the whole cantata PEREGRINE PICKLE. 15 * m a tone of voice that seemed to be the joint issue of an Irish bagpipe and a sow-gelder’s horn ; the commodore, the lieutenant and landlord, joined in the chorus, repeating this elegant stanza, Bustle, hustle, brave boys ! Let us sing, let us toil. And drink all the while, Since labours the price of our joys. The third line was no sooner pronounced, than the canu was lifted to every man’s mouth with admirable uniformity ; and the next word taken up at the end of their draught with a twang equally expressive and harmonious. In short, the company began to understand one another ; Mr-Pickle seem¬ ed to relish the entertainment, and a correspondence imme¬ diately commenced between him and Trunnion, who shook him by the hand, drank to further acquaintance, and even invited him to a mess of pork and pease in the garrison. The compliment was returned, good fellowship prevailed, and the night was pretty far advanced when the merchant’s man arrived with a Ian thorn to light his master home ; up¬ on which the new friends parted, after a mutual promise of meeting next evening in the same place. CHAPTER III. Mrs Grizzle exerts herself in finding a proper match for her brother; who is according introduced to the young lady , whom he marries in due season . I have been the more circumstantial in opening the charac¬ ter of Trunnion, because he bears a considerable share in the course of these memoirs; but now it is high time to resume the consideration of Mrs Grizzle, who, since her arrival in the country, had been engrossed by a double care, namely, that of finding a suitable match for her brother, and a com¬ fortable yoke-fellow for herself. Neither was this aim the result of any sinister or frail sug¬ gestion, but the pure dictates of that laudable ambition, which prompted her to the preservation of the family name. Nay, Id THE ADVENTURES OP so disinterested was she in this pursuit, that, postponing her nearest concern, or at least leaving her own fate to the silent operation of her charms, she laboured with such indefati¬ gable zeal in behalf of her brother, that, before thev had been three months settled in the country, the general topic of con¬ versation in the neighbourhood, was an intended match be¬ tween the rich Mr. Pickle, and the fair Miss Appleby, daughter of a gentleman who lived in the next parish, and who, though he had but little fortune to bestow upon his children, had (to use his own phrase) replenished their veins with some of the best blood in the country. This voung lady, whose character and disposition Mrs Grizzle had investigated to her own satisfaction, was destin¬ ed for the spouse of Mr Pickle, and an overture according- lv made to her father, who being overjoyed at the proposal, gave his consent without hesitation, and even recommend¬ ed the immediate execution of the project with such eager¬ ness, as seemed to indicate either a suspicion of Mr Pickle's constancy, or a diffidence of his own daughter's complexion, which perhaps he thought too sanguine to keep much longer cool. The previous point being thus settled, our merchant, at the instigation of Mrs Grizzle, went to visit his future father-in-law, and was introduced to the daughter, with whom he had, that same afternoon, an opportunity of being alone. What passed in that interview, I never could learn, though, from the character of the suitor, the reader may justly conclude, that she was not much teased with the im¬ pertinence of his addresses. He was not, I believe, the less welcome for that reason ; certain it is she made no objection to his taciturnity, and, when her father communicated his resolution, acquiesced with the most pious resignation. But Airs Grizzle, in order to give the lady a more favourable idea of his intellects than what his conversation could pos¬ sibly inspire, was resolved to dictate a letter, which her bro¬ ther should transcribe and transmit to his mistress, as the produce of his own understanding, and had actually com¬ posed a very tender billet for this purpose; vet her inten¬ tion was entirely frustrated by the misapprehension of the PEREGRINE PICKLE. 17 ]over himself, who, in consequence of his sister’s repeated admonitions, anticipated her scheme, by writing for him¬ self, and dispatching the letter one afternoon, while Mrs Grizzle was visiting at the parson’s. Neither was this step the effect of his vanity or precipita¬ tion ; but having been often assured by his sister, that it was absolutely necessary for him to make a declaration of his love in writing, he took this opportunity of acting in con¬ formity with her advice, when his imagination was unengag¬ ed or undisturbed by any other suggestion, v/ithout suspect¬ ing the least that she intended to save him the trouble of ex¬ ercising his own genuis. Left, therefore, as he imagined, to his own inventions, he sat down and produced the follow¬ ing morceau, which was transmitted to Miss Appleby, be¬ fore his sister and counsellor had the least information of the affair, f Miss Sally Appleby. e Madam,—Understanding you have a parcel of heart, warranted sound, to be disposed of, shall be willing to treat for said commo¬ dity, on reasonable terms. Doubt not shall agree for same. Shall ■waitof you for further information, when and where you shall ap¬ point. This the needful from yours, &c. ‘ Gam. Pickle/ This laconic epistle, simple and unadorned as it was, met with as cordial a reception from the person to whom it was addressed, as if it had been couched in the most elegant terms that delicacy of passion and cultivated genius could supply ; nay, I believe, was the more welcome, on account of its mercantile plainness: because, when an advantageous match is in view, a sensible w'oman often considers the flowery professions and rapturous exclamations of love as ensnaring ambiguities, or at best impertinent preliminaries, that retard the treaty they are designed to promote ; where¬ as Mr Pickle removed all disagreeable uncertainty, by de¬ scending at once to the most interesting particular. She had no sooner, as a dutiful child, communicated this billet-doux to her father, than he, as a careful parent, visit¬ ed Mr Pickle, and, in presence of Mrs Grizzle, demanded a formal explanation of his sentiments with regard to his Vol, II. b 18 THE ADVENTURES OR daughter Sally. Mr Gamaliel, without any ceremony, as¬ sured him he had a respect for the young woman, and, with his good leave, would take her for better for worse. Mr Appleby, after having expressed his satisfaction that he had fixed his affections in his family, comforted the lover with the assurance of his being agreeable to the young lady, and they forthwith proceeded to the articles of the marriage- settlement, which being discussed and determined, a law¬ yer was ordered to engross them ; the wedding-clothes were bought* and, in short, a day was appointed for the celebra® tion of their nuptials, to which every body of any fashion in the neighbourhood was invited. Among these Commo¬ dore Trunnion and Mr Hatchway were not forgotten, be¬ ing the sole companions of the bridegroom, with whom, by this time, they had contracted a sort of intimacy at their nocturnal rendezvous. They had received a previous intimation of what was on the anvil from the landlord, before Mr Pickle thought pro¬ per to declare himself; in consequence of which, the topic of the one-eyed commander’s discourse at their meeting, for several evenings before, had been the folly and plague of matrimony, on which he held forth with great vehemence of abuse, levelled at the fair sex, whom he represented as devils incarnate, sent from hell to torment mankind; and, in par¬ ticular, inveighed against old maids, for whom he seemed to entertain a singular aversion ; while his friend Jack con¬ firmed the truth of all his allegations, and gratified his own m dignant vein at the same time, by clenching every sentence with a sly joke upon the married state, built upon some al¬ lusion to a ship or seafaring life. lie compared a woman to a great gun, loaded with fire, brimstone, and noise, which, being violently heated, will bounce and fly, and play the devil, if you don’t take special care of her breechings. He said she was like a hurricane, that never blows from one quarter, but veers about to all points of the compass: he lik¬ ened her to a painted galley curiously rigged, with leak in her hold, which her husband would never be able to stop. He observed that her inclinations were like the bayof Biscay; PEREGRINE PICKLE. 19 for why ? because you may heave your deep sea lead long enough without ever reaching the bottom : that he who comes to anchor on a wife, may find himself moored in damned foul ground, and, after all, can’t for his blood slip his cable : and that, for his own part, thof he might make short trips for pastime, he would never embark in woman on the voyage of life, because he was afraid of foundering in the first foul weather. In all probability, these insinuations made some impres¬ sion on the mind of Mr Pickle, who was not very much in¬ clined to run great riks of any kind ; but the injunctions and importunities of his sister, who was bent upon the match, overbalanced the opinion of his sea friends, who finding him determined to marry, notwithstanding all the hints of caution they had thrown out, resol red to accept his invitation, and honoured his nuptials with their presence accordingly. CHAPTER IV. The behaviour of Mrs Grizzle at the wedding , with an account of the guests. I hope it will not be thought uncharitable, if I advance 9 by way of conjecture, that Mrs Grizzle, on this grand oc¬ casion, summoned her whole exertion, to play of the artil jery of her charms upon the single gentlemen who were in¬ vited to the entertainment: sure I am, she displayed to the best advantage all the engaging qualities she possessed : her affability at dinner was altogether uncommon ; her attention to the guests was superfluously hospitable; her tongue was sheathed with a most agreeable and infantine lisp ; her ad¬ dress was perfectly obliging ; and though, conscious of the extraordinary capacity of her mouth, she would not venture to hazard a laugh, she modelled her lips into an enchanting- simper, which played upon her countenance all day long; nay, she even profited by that defect in her vision we have already observed, and securely contemplated those features which were most to her liking, while the rest of the com- 20 THE ADVENTURES OP pany believed her regards were disposed in a quite contrary direction. With what humility of complaisance did she receive the compliments of those who could not help prais¬ ing the elegance of the banquet ! and how piously did she seize that opportunity of commemorating the honours of her sire, by observing, that it was no merit in her to understand something of entertainments, as she had occasion to preside at so many during the mayoralty of her papa ! Far from discovering the least symptom of pride and exultation, when the opulence of her family became the subject of conversa¬ tion, she assumed a severity of countenance ; and, after hav¬ ing moralized on the vanity of riches, declared, that those who looked upon her as a fortune were very much mistaken ; for her father had left her no more than poor five thousand pounds, which, with what little she had saved of the interest since his death, was all she had to depend upon ; indeed, if she had placed her chief felicity in wealth, she should not have been so forward in destroying her own expectations, by advising and promoting the event at which they were now so happily assembled ; but she hoped she should always have virtue enough to postpone any interested consideration, when it should happen to clash with the happiness of her friends. Finally, such was her modesty and self-denial, that she in¬ dustriously informed those whom it might concern, that she was no less than three years older than the bride, though, had she added ten to the reckoning, she would have com¬ mitted no mistake in point of computation. To contribute as much as lay in her power to the satisfac¬ tion of all present, she, in the afternoon, regaled them with a tune on the harpsichord, accompanied with her voice, which, though not the most melodious in the world, 1 dare say, would have been equally at their service, could she have vied with Philomel in song; and as the last effort of her complaisance, when dancing was proposed, she was pre¬ vailed upon, at the request ol her new sister, to open the ball in person. In a word, Mrs Grizzle was the principal figure in this fes¬ tival? and almost eclipsed the bride, who, iar irom seeming to PEREGRINE PICKLE. 91 tv A dispute the pre-eminence, very wisely allowed her to make the best of her talents; contenting herself with the lot to which fortune had already called her, and which she ima¬ gined would not be the less desirable, if her sister-in-law were detached from the family. I believe I need scarce advertise the reader, that, during tli is whole entertainment, the commodore and his lieutenant were quite out of their element; and this, indeed, was the case with the bridegroom himself, who, being utterly unac¬ quainted with any sort of polite commerce, found himself under a very disagreeable restraint during the whole scene. Trunnion, who had scarce ever been on shore till he was paid off, and never once in his whole life in the company of any females above the rank of those who herd upon the Point at Portsmouth, was more embarrassed about his beha¬ viour than if he had been surrounded at sea by the whole French navy. He had never pronounced the word madam since he was born; so that, far from entering into any con¬ versation with the ladies, he would not even return the com¬ pliment, or give the least nod of civility, when they drank to his health ; and, I verily believe, would rather have suf¬ fered suffocation than allowed the simple phrase your ser¬ vant to proceed from his mouth. lie was altogether as inflexible with respect to the attitudes of his body; for, either through obstinacy or bashfulness, he sat upright with¬ out motion, insomuch that he provoked the mirth of a cer¬ tain wag, who, addressing himself to the lieutenant, asked whether that was the commodore himself, or the wooden lion that used to stand at his gate? An image to which, it must be owned, Trunnion’s person bore no faint resemblance. Mr Hatchway, who was not quite so unpolished as the commodore, and had certain notions that seemed to approach the ideas of common life, made a less uncouth appearance ; but then he w r as a wit, and though of a very peculiar genius, partook largely of that disposition which is common to all Avits, who never enjoy themselves except when their talents meet with those marks of distinction and veneration, which, in their own opinion, they deserve. 22 THE ADVENTURES OP These circumstances being premised, it is not to be won¬ dered at if this triumvirate made no objections to the pro¬ posal, when some of the grave personages of the company made a motion for adjourning into another apartment, where they might enjoy their pipes and bottles, while the young folks indulged themselves in the continuance of their own favourite diversion. Thus rescued, as it were, from a state of annihilation, the first use the two lads of the castle made of their existence was to ply the bridegroom so hard with bumpers, that, in less than an hour, he made divers efforts to sing, and soon after was carried to bed, deprived of all man¬ ner of sensation, to the utter disappointment of the bride- men and maids, who, by this accident, were prevented from throwing the stocking, and performing certain other cere¬ monies practised on such occasions. As for the bride, she bore this misfortune with great good humour; and, indeed* on all occasions, behaved like a discreet woman perfectly well acquainted with the nature of her own situation. CHAPTER V. Mrs Piclde assumes the reins oj government in her own fa - mily—Her sister-in-law undertakes an enterprise of great moment-—hut is for some time diverted from her purpose by a very interesting consideration. w hateveu deference, not to say submission, she had paid to Mrs Grizzle before she was so nearly allied to her family, she no sooner became Mrs Pickle than she thought it in¬ cumbent upon her to act up to the dignity of the character ; and the very day after the marriage ventured to dispute with her sister-in-law on the subject of her own pedigree, which she affirmed to be more honourable in all respects than that of her husband ; observing, that several younger brothers of her house had arrived at the station of lord mayor of Lon¬ don, which was the highest pitch of greatness that any of Mr Pickled predecessors had ever attained. This presumption was like a thunderbolt to Mrs Grizzle, who began to perceive that she had not succeeded quite so PEREGRINE PICKLE. 23 well as she imagined, in selecting for her brother a gentle and obedient voke-fellovv who would always treat her with that J V profound respect which she thought due toiler superior ge¬ nius, and be entirely regulated by her advice and direction ; however, she still continued to manage the reins of govern¬ ment in the house, reprehending the servants as usual ; an office she performed with great capacity, and in w ich she seemed to take singular delight, until Mrs Pickle, on pre¬ tence of consulting her ease, told her one day she would take that trouble upon herself, and lor the future assume die management of her own family. Nothing could be more mortifying to Mrs G rizzle than such a declaration, to which, after a considerable pause, and strange distortion of look, she repled,— 4 I shall never refuse or repine at any trouble that may conduce to my brothers advantage/ 4 Dear madam,' answered the sister, 4 I am infinitely obliged to your kind concern for Mr Pickle’s interest, which I consider as my own, but I cannot bear to see you a sufferer by your friend¬ ship; and, therefore, insist upon exempting you from the fatigue you have borne so long/ In vain did the other protest that she took pleasure in the task; Mrs Pickle ascribed the assurance to her excess of complaisance, and expressed such tenderness of zeal for her dear sister’s health and tranquillity, that the reluctant maiden found herself obliged to resign her authority, without enjoy¬ ing the least pretext for complaining of her being deposed. This disgrace was attended by a fit of peevish devotion that lasted three or four weeks; during which period she had the additional chagrin of seeing the young lady gain an ascendancy over the mind of her brother, who was per¬ suaded to set up a gay equipage, and improve his house¬ keeping, by an augmentation in his expense to the amount of a thousand a-year at least; though this alteration in the economy of his household effected no change in his own disposition, or manner of life ; for as soon as the painful ceremony of receiving and returning visits was performed, he had recourse again to the company of his sea friends, with whom he spent the best part of his time. But if he was 24 THE ADVENTURES OF satisfied with his condition, the case was otherwise with Mrs Grizzle, who, fitiding her importance in the family greatly diminished, her attractions neglected by all the male sex in tlie neighbourhood, and the withering hand of time hang threatening; over her head, began to feel the horror of eternal o 7 o virginity, and, in a sort of desperation, resolved at any rate to rescue herself from that uncomfortable situation. Thus de¬ termined, she formed a plan, the execution of which, to a spirit less enterprising and sufficient than her’s, would have appeared altogether impracticable ; this was no other than to make a conquest of the commodore’s heart, which the reader will easily believe was not very susceptible of tender impressions; but, on the contrary, fortified with insensibility and prejudice against the charms of the whole sex, and par¬ ticularly prepossessed to the prejudice of that class distin¬ guished by the appellation of old maids , in which Mrs Grizzle was bv this time unhapply ranked. She neverthe¬ less took tlie field, and, having invested this seemingly im¬ pregnable fortress, began to break ground one day, when Trunnion dined at her brother’s, by springing certain en¬ snaring commendations on the honesty and sincerity of sea¬ faring people, paying a particular attention to his plate, and affecting a simper of approbation at every thing be said, which by any means she could construe into a joke, or with modesty be supposed to bear ; nay, even when he left decen¬ cy on the left hand, which was often the case, she ventured to reprimand his freedom of speech with a gracious grin, saying, 4 sure you gentlemen belonging to the sea have such an odd way with you.’ But all this complacency was so in¬ effectual, that, far from,suspecting the true cause of it, the commodore, that very evening, at the club, in presence of her brother, with whom by this time he could take any manner of freedom, did not scruple to damn lierfor a squint¬ ing, block-faced, chattering piss-kitchen ; and immediately after drank despair to ail old maids. The toast Mr Pickle pledged without the least hesitation, and next day intimated it to his sister, who bore the indignity with surprising resig¬ nation. and did notdherefore desist from her scheme, unpro- PEREGRINE PICKLE. mising as it seemed to be, until ber attention was called’off, and engaged in another care, which, for some time, inter¬ rupted the progress of this design. Her sister had not been married many months when she exhibited evident spmptoms of pregnancy, to the general satisfaction of all concerned, and the inexpressible joy of Mrs Grizzle, who, as we have al¬ ready hinted, was more interested in the preservation of the family name than in any other consideration whatever. She therefore no sooner discovered appearances to justify and confirm her hopes, than, postponing her own purpose, and laying aside that pique and resentment she had conceived from the behaviour of Mrs Pickle, when she superseded her authority, or perhaps considering her in no other light than that of the vehicle which contained and was destined to con¬ vey her brother’s heir to light, she determined to exert her uttermost in nursing, tending, and cherishing her, during the term of her important charge. With this view she pur¬ chased Culpepper s Midwifery, which, with that sagacious performance dignified with Aristotle’s name, she studied with indefatigable care, and diligently perused the Complete Housewife, together with Quincy’s Dispensatory, culling every jelly, marmalade, and conserve, which these authors recommend as either salutary or toothsome for the benefit and comfort of her sister-in-law, during her gestation. She restricted her from eating roots, pot-herbs, fruit, and all sorts of vegetables ; and one day when Mrs Pickle had plucked a peach with her own hand, and was in the very act of putting it between her teeth, Mrs Grizzle perceived the rash attempt, and running up to her, fell upon her knees in the garden, entreating her, with tears in her eyes, to resist such a pernicious appetite. Her request was no sooner complied with, than, recollecting that, if her sister’s longing was baulked, the child might be effected with some disagreeable mark, or deplorable disease, she begged as ear¬ nestly that she would swallow the fruit, and, in the mean time, ran for some cordial water of her own composing, which she forced upon her sister, as an antitode to the poison she had received. THE ADVENTURES OF This excessive zeal and tenderness did not fail to be very V troublesome to Mrs Pickle, who having resolved divers plans for the recovery of her own ease, at length determined to en¬ gage Mrs Grizzle in such employment as would interrupt that close attendance which she found so teasing and disagree¬ able Neither did she wait long for an opportunity of put¬ ting her resolution in practice. The very next day, a gen¬ tleman happening to dine with Mr Pickle, unfortunately mentioned a pine-apple, part of which he had eaten a week before at the house of a nobleman, who lived in another part of the country, at the distance of a hundred miles at least. The name of this fatal fruit was no sooner pronounced than Mrs Grizzle, who incessantly watched her sister’s looks, took the alarm, because she thought they gave certain in¬ dications of curiosity and desire ; and, after having observed that she herself could never eat pine-apples, which were al¬ together unnatural productions, extorted by the force of ar¬ tificial fire out of filthy manure, asked, with a faultering voice, if Mrs f ickle was not of her way of thinking ? This young lady, who wanted neither slyness nor penetration, at once divined her meaning, and replied, with seeming uncon¬ cern, that, for her own part, she should never repine if there was not a pine-apple in the universe, provided she could indulge herself with the fruits of her own country. This answer was calculated for the benefit of the stranger, who would certainly have suffered for his imprudence by the resentment of Mrs Grizzle, had her sister expressed the least relish for the fruit in question. It had the desired effect, and re-established the peace of the company, which was not a little endangered by the gentleman’s want of consideration. Next morning, however, after breakfast, the pregnant lady, in pursuance of her plan, yawned, as it were by accident, full in the face of her maiden sister, who being infinitely disturbed by this convulsion, affirmed it was a symptom of longing, and insisted upon knowing the object in desire; when Mrs Pickle, assumed an affected smile, told her she had eaten a most delicious pine-apple in her sleep. This de¬ claration was attended with an immediate scream, uttered by PEREGRINE PICKLE. 27 Mrs Grizzle, who instantly perceiving her sister surprised at the exclamation, clasped her in her arms, and assured her, with a sort of a hysterical laugh, that she .could not help screaming with joy, because she had it in her power to gratify her dear sister’s wish; a lady in the neighbour¬ hood having promised to send her, in a present, a couple of delicate pine-apples, which she would that very day go in quest of. Mrs Pickle would by no means consent to this proposal, on pretence of sparing the other unnecessary fatigue ; and assured her, that if she had any desire to eat a pine-apple, it was so faint that the disappointment could produce no bad consequence. But this assurance was conveyed in a manner (which she knew very well how to adopt) that, in¬ stead of dissuading, rather stimulated, Mrs Grizzle to set out immediately, not on a visit to that lady, whose promise she herself had feigned, with a view 7 of consulting her sister’s tranquillity, but on a random search through the whole county, for this unlucky fruit, which was like to produce so much vexation and prejudice to her and her father’s house During three whole days and nights did she, attended by a valet, ride from place to place, without success, un¬ mindful of her health, and careless of her reputation, that began to suffer from the nature of her enquiry, which was pursued with such peculiar eagerness and distraction, that every body with whom she conversed looked upon her as an unhappy person, whose intellects were not a little dis¬ ordered. Baffled in all her researches within the county, she at length resolved to visit that very nobleman, at whose house the officious stranger had been (for her) so unfortunately re¬ galed, and actually arrived in a post-chaise at the place of his habitation, where she introduced her business as an af¬ fair on which the happiness of a whole family depended. By virtue of a present to his lordship’s gardener she procured the Hesperian fruit, with which she returned in triumph. THE ADVENTURES OF 2S CHAPTER VI. Mrs Grizzle is indefatigable in gratifying her sister's longing —Peregrine is born , and managed contrary to the directions and remonstrances of his aunt , who is disgusted upon that ac¬ count , and resumes the plan which she had before rejected. The success of this device would have encouraged Mrs Pickle to practise more of the same sort upon her sister-in- law, had she not been deterred by a violent fever which seized her zealous ally, in consequence of the fatigue and uneasiness she had undergone ; which, while it lasted, as effectually conduced to her repose as any other stratagem she could invent. But Mrs Grizzle’s health was no sooner restored, than the other being as much incommoded as ever, was obliged, in her own defence, to have recourse to some other contrivance ; and managed her artifices in such a man¬ ner as leaves it at this day a doubt whether she was really so whimsical and capricious in her appetites as she herself pretended to be ; for her longings were not restricted to the demands of the palate and stomach, but also affected all the other organs of sense, and even invaded her imagination, which at this period seemed to be strangely diseased. One time she longed to pinch her husband’s ear; and it -was with infinite difficulty that her sister could prevail upon him to undergo the operation Yet this task was easy, in comparison with another she undertook for the gratification of Mrs Pickle’s unaccountable desire; which was no other than to persuade the commodore to submit his chin to the mercy of the big-bellied lady, who ardently wished for an opportunity of plucking three black hairs from his beard. When this proposal was first communicated to Mr Trunnion by the husband, his answer was nothing: but a dreadful effu- sion of oaths, accompanied with such a stare, and delivered in such a tone of voice, as terrified the poor beseecher into immediate silence ; so that Mrs Grizzle was fain to take the whole enterprise upon herself, and next day went to the gar¬ rison accordingly, where, having obtained entrance by means PEREGRINE PICKLE. §9 of the lieutenant, who, while his comrade was asleep, or¬ dered her to be admitted for the joke’s sake, she waited pa¬ tiently till he turned out, and then accosted him in the yard, where lie used to perform his morning walk. He was thun¬ derstruck at the appearance of a woman in a place which he had hitherto kept sacred from the whole sex, and immediately began to utter an apostrophe to Tom Pipes, whose turn it was then to watcii; when Mrs Grizzle, falling on her knees before him, conjured him, with many pathetic supplications, to hear and grant her request; which was no scooner signified, than he bellowed in such an outrageous manner, that the whole court re-echoed the opprobrious term bitch, and the word damnation, which he repeated with surprising volubi¬ lity, without any sort of propriety or connection ; and re¬ treated into his penetralia, leaving the baffled devotee in the humble posture she had so unsuccessfully chosen to melt his obdurate heart. Mortifying as this repulse must have been to a lady of her stately disposition, she did not relinquish her aim, but endeavoured to interest the commodore’s counsellors and ad¬ herents in her cause. With this view she solicited the interest of Mr. Hatchway, who being highly pleased with a circum¬ stance so productive of mirth and diversion, readily entered into her measures, and promised to employ his whole influ¬ ence for her satisfaction : and as for the boatswain’s mate, lie was rendered propitious by the present of a guinea, which she slipped into his hand. In short, Mrs Grizzle was continually engaged in this negociation for the space of ten days, during which the commodore was so incessantly pestered with her remonstrances, and the admonitions of his associates, that he swore his people had a design upon liis life, which becoming a burden to him, lie at last compued, and v as conducted to the scene like a victim to the altar, or rather like a reluctant bear, when he is led to the stake amidst the shouts and cries of butchers and their dogs. Af¬ ter all, this victory was not quite so decisive as the conquer¬ ors imagined; for the patient being set, and the performer prepared with a pair of pincers, a small difficulty occurred: 30 THE ADVENTURES OF she could not for some time discern one black hair on the whole superfices of Mr Trunnion’s face; when Mrs Grizzle, very much alarmed and disconcerted, had recourse to a magnifying glass that stood upon her toilet ; and, after a most accurate examination, discovered a fibre of a dusky hue, to which the instrument being applied, Mrs Pickle pulled it up by the root, to the no small discomposure of the owner, who feeling the smart much more severe than he had expected, started up, and swore he would not part with another hair to save them all from damnation. Mr Hatchway exhorted him to patience and resignation ; Mrs Grizzle repeated her entreaties with great humility; but finding him deaf to all her prayers, and absolutely bent upon leaving the house, she clasped his knees, and begged, for the love of God, that he would have compassion upon a distressed family, and endure a little more for the sake of the poor infant, who would otherwise be born with a grey beard upon its chin. Far from being melted, he was rather exasperated by this reflection ; to which he replied with great indignation, 4 D—n you for a yaw-sighted bitch ! he’ll be hanged long enough before he has any beard at allso saying, he disengaged himself from her embraces, flung out at the door, and halted homewards with such surprising speed, that the lieutenant could not overtake him until he had arrived at his own gate ; and Mrs Grizzle was so much affected with his escape, that her sister, in pure compassion, desired she would not afflict herself, protesting that her own wish was already gratified, for she had plucked three hairs at once, having from the beginning been dubious of the com¬ modore’s patience. But the labours of this assiduous kins¬ woman did not end with the achievement of this adventure ; her eloquence or industry was employed without ceasing, in the performance of other tasks imposed by the ingenious craft oi her sister-in-law, who, at another time, conceived an insuppressible affection for a fricassee of frogs, which should be the genuine natives of France ; so that there was a ne¬ cessity for dispatching a messenger on purpose to that king¬ dom ; but, as she could not depend upon the integrity of any PEREGRINE PICKLE. 31 Common servant, Mrs Grizzle undertook that province, and actually set sail in a cutter for Boulogne, from whence she returned in eight-and-forty hours with a tub-full of those live animals, which, being dressed according to art, her sister would not taste them, on pretence that her fit of longing was past; but then her inclinations took a different turn, and fixed themselves upon a curious implement belonging to a lady of quality in the neighbourhood, which was report¬ ed to be a very great curiosity ; this was no other than a porcelain chamber-pot of admirable workmanship, contrived by the honourable owner, who kept it for her own private vise, and cherished it as an utensil of inestimable value. Mrs Grizzle shuddered at the first hint she received of her sister's desire to possess this piece of furniture, because she knew it was not to be purchased ; and the lady’s charac¬ ter, which was none of the most amiable in point of huma¬ nity and condescension, forbade all hopes of borrowing it for a season ; she therefore attempted to reason down this capri¬ cious appetite, as an extravagance of imagination which ought to be combated and repressed ; and Mrs Pickle, to all appearance, was convinced and satisfied by her arguments and advice ; but, nevertheless, could make use of no other convenience, and was threatened with a very dangerous sup¬ pression. Roused at the peril in which she supposed her to be, Mrs Grizzle flew to the lady’s house, and, having obtained a private audience, disclosed the melancholy situa¬ tion of her sister, and implored the benevolence of her lady¬ ship ; who, contrary to expectation, received her very graci¬ ously, and consented to indulge Mrs Pickle’s longing. Mr Pickle began to be out of humour at the expence to which he was exposed by the caprice of his wife, who was herself alarmed at this last incident, and, for the future, kept her fancy within bounds; insomuch, that, without being sub¬ ject to any more extraordinary trouble, Mrs Grizzle reaped the long-wished-for fruits of her dearest expectation in the birth of a fine boy, whom her sister in a few months brought into the world. I shall omit the description of the rejoicings, which were 32 THE ADVENTURES OP infinite, on this important occasion, and only observe, that Mrs Pickle’s mother and aunt stood godmothers, and the commodore assisted at the ceremony as godfather to the child, who was christened by the name of Peregrine, in com¬ pliment to the memory of a deceased uncle. While the mo¬ ther was confined to her bed, and incapable of maintaining her own authority, Mrs Grizzle took charge of the infant by a double claim; and superintended with surprising vigilance the nurse and midwife in all the particulars of their re¬ spective offices, which were performed by her express direc¬ tion. But no sooner was Mrs Pickle in a condition to re¬ assume the management of her own affairs, than she thought proper to alter certain regulations concerning the child, which had obtained in consequence of her sister’s orders; directing, among other innovations, that the bandages with which the infant had been so neatly rolled up, like an Egyptian mummy, should be loosened and laid aside, in order to rid nature of all restraint, and give the blood free scope to cir¬ culate ; and with her own hands she plunged him headlong every morning in a tub-full of cold water. This operation seemed so barbarous to the tender-hearted Mrs Grizzle, that she not only opposed it with all her eloquence, shedding abundance of tears over the sacrifice when it was made, but took horse immediately, and departed for the habitation of an eminent country physician, whom she consulted in these -words : 4 Pray, doctor, is it not both dangerous and cruel to be the means of letting a poor tender infant perish, by sous¬ ing it in water as cold as ice?’ 4 Yes, 1 replied the doctor, 4 downright murder, I affirm.'’ 4 I see you are a person of great learning and sagacity, 1 said the other ; 4 and I must beg you will be so good as to signify your opinion in your own handwriting. 1 The doctor immediately complied with her request, and expressed himself upon a slip of paper to this purpose.— c These are to certify whom it may concern , that I firmly believe , and if is my unalterable opinion , that whosoever letteth an infant perish , by sousing it in cold water , even though the .said water should not be so cold as ice , is in effect guilty of the. murder of the said infant—-as witness my hand 4 Comfit Colycynth . 1 PEREGRINE PICKLE. S3 Having obtained this certificate, for which the physician was immediately acknowledged, she returned, exulting, and hoping, with such authority, to overthrow all opposition. Accordingly, next morning, when her nephew was about to undergo his diurnal baptism, she produced the commission, whereby she conceived herself empowered to overrule such inhuman proceedings. But she was disappointed in her ex¬ pectation, confident as it was; not that Mrs Pickle pretended to differ in opinion from Dr Colycynth, 6 for whose charac¬ ter and sentiments,’ said she, * I have such veneration, that I shall carefully observe the caution implied in this very cer¬ tificate, by which, far from condemning my method of prac¬ tice, he only asserts that killing is murder; an asseveration, the truth of which, it is to be hoped, I shall never dispute.’ Mrs Grizzle, who, sooth to say, had rather too superfi¬ cially considered the clause by which she thought herself authorised, perused the paper with more accuracy, and was confounded at her own want of penetration. Yet, though she was confuted, she was by no means convinced that her- objections to the cold-bath were unreasonable; on the con¬ trary, after having bestowed sundry opprobrious epithets on the physician, for his want of knowledge and candour, she protested, in the most earnest and solemn manner, against the pernicious practice of dipping the child : a piece of cruelty which, with God’s assistance, she should never suffer to be inflicted on her own issue: and washing her hands of the melancholy consequence that would certainly ensue, shut herself up in her closet, to indulge her sorrow and vexation. She was deceived, however, in her prognostic : the boy, in¬ stead of declining in point of health, seemed to acquire fresh vigour from every plunge, as if he had been resolved to dis¬ credit the wisdom and foresight of his aunt, who, in all pro¬ bability, could never forgive him for this want of reverence and respect. This conjecture is founded upon her behaviour to him in the sequel of his infancy, during which she was known to torture him more than once, when she had oppor¬ tunities of thrusting pins into his flesh, without any danger of being detected. In a word, her affection's were in a little time Vol. JL c 34 T1IE ADVENTURES OF altogether alienated from this hope of her family, whom she abandoned to the conduct of his mother, whose province it undoubtedly was to manage the nurture of her own child ; while sheherself resumed heroperations upon thecommodore, whom she was resolved at any rate to captivate and enslave. And it must be owned, that Mrs Grizzle’s knowledge of the human heart never shone so conspicuous, as in the methods she pursued for the accomplishment of this important aim. Through the rough unpolished husk that cased the soul of Trunnion, she could easily distinguish a large share of that vanity and self-conceit that generally predominate even in the most savage breast; and to this she constantly appealed. In his presence she always exclaimed against the craft and dishonest dissimulation of the world, and never failed of ut¬ tering particular invectives against those arts of chicanery in which the lawyers are so conversant, to the prejudice and ruin of their fellow-creatures ; observing, that, in a seafaring life, so far as she had opportunities of judging or being in¬ formed, there was nothing but friendship, sincerity, and a hearty contempt for every thing that was mean or selfish. This kind of conversation, with the assistance of certain particular civilities, insensibly made an impression on the mind of the commodore, and that the more effectually, as his former prepossessions were built upon very slender foun¬ dations : liis antipathy to old maids, which he had conceived upon hearsay, began gradually to diminish, when he found they were not quite such infernal animals as they had been represented ; and it was not long before he was heard to ob¬ serve, at the club, that Pickle’s sister had not so much of the core of bitch in her as he had imagined. This negative com¬ pliment, by the medium of her brother, soon reached the ears of Mrs Grizzle, who, thus encouraged, redoubled all her arts and attention ; so that, in less than three months after, he in the same place distinguished her with the epithet of a damned sensible jade. Hatchway taking the alarm at this declaration, which he feared foreboded something fatal to his interest, told his com¬ mander, with a sneer, that she had sense enough to bring him PEREGRINE PICKLE. 35 to under her stern ; and he did not doubt but that such an old crazy vessel would be the better for being taken in tow. 6 But howsomever,’ added this arch adviser, 4 I’d have you take care of your upper works; for il once you are made fast to her poop, egad ! she’ll spank it away, and make every beam in your body crack with straining.’ Our she-projector’s whole plan had like to have been ruined by the effect which this malicious hint had upon Trunnion, whose rage and sus¬ picion being awakened at once, his colour changed from tawny to a cadaverous pale, and then shifting to a deep and dusky red, such as we sometimes observe in the sky when it is replete with thunder, he, after his usual preamble of un¬ meaning oaths, answered in these words: 4 Damn ye, you jurv-legged dog, you would give all the stowage in your hold to be as sound as I am ; and as for being taken in tow, d’ye see, I’m not so disabled but that I can lie my course, and perform my voyage, without any assistance; and, egad l no man shall ever see Hawser Trunnion lagging astern in the wake of e’er a b— in Christendom.’ Mrs Grizzle, who every morning interrogated her brother with regard to the subject of his over-night’s conversation with his friends, soon received the unwelcome news of the commodore’s aversion to matrimony ; and justly imputing the greatest part of his disgust to the satirical insinuations of Mr Hatchway, resolved to level this obstruction to her suc¬ cess, and actually found means to interest him in her scheme. She had, indeed, on some occasions, a particular knack at making converts, being probably not unacquainted with that grand system of persuasion which is adopted by the greatest personages of the age, as fraught with maxims much more effectual than all the eloquence of Tully or Demosthenes, even when supported by the demonstrations of truth : besides, Mr Hatchway’s fidelity to his new ally was confirmed by his f oreseeing in his captain’s marriage an infinite fund of gra¬ tification for his own cynical disposition. Thus, therefore, converted and properly cautioned, he for the future suppress¬ ed all the virulence of his wit against the matrimonial state ; and, as he knew not how to open his mouth in the positive 36 THE ADVENTURES OP praise of any person whatever, took all opportunities of ex¬ cepting Mrs Grizzle by name from the censures he liberally bestowed upon the rest of her sex. 4 She is not a drunkard, like Nan Castick of Deptford (he would say); not a nin¬ compoop, like Peg Simper of Woolwich ; not a brimstone, like Kate Coddie of Chatham; nor a shrew, like Nell Griffin on the Point at Portsmouth (ladies to whom, at dif¬ ferent times they had both paid their addresses) ; but a tight, good-humoured, sensible wench, who knows very well how to box her compass; well trimmed aloft, and well sheathed alow, with a good cargo under her hatches . 1 The commodore at first imagined this'commendation was ironical, but hearing it repeated again and again, was filled with astonishment at this surprising change in the lieutenant’s behaviour; and after a long fit of musing, concluded that Hatchway himself harboured a matrimonial design on the person of Mrs Grizzle. Pleased with this conjecture, he rallied Jack in his turn, and one night toasted her health as a compliment to his passion ; a circumstance which the lady learned next day by the usual canal of her intelligence, and interpreting as the result of his own tenderness for her, she congratulated herself upon the victory she had obtained; and, thinking it un¬ necessary to continue the reserve she had hitherto industri¬ ously affected, resolved from that day to sweeten her beha¬ viour towards him with such a dish of affection as could not fail to persuade him that he had inspired her with a reci¬ procal flame. In consequence of this determination, he was invited to dinner, and, while he staid, treated with such cloy¬ ing proofs of her regard, that not only the rest of the com¬ pany, but even Trunnion himself, perceived her drift; and taking the alarm accordingly, could not help exclaiming,— 4 Oho, I see how the land lies, and if I don’t weather the point I’ll be damned.’ Having thus expressed himself to his afflicted inamorata, he made the best of his way to the gar¬ rison, in which he shut himself up for the space of ten days, and had no communication with his friends and domestics but by looks, which were most significantly picturesque. 37 PEREGRINE PICKLE. CHAPTER VII. Divers stratagems are inve?ited and put in practice , in order to overcome the obstinacy of Trunnion , who at length is teased and tortured into the noose of wedlock. This abrupt departure and unkind declaration affected Mrs Grizzle so much, that she fell sick of sorrow and mortifica¬ tion ; and, after having confined herself to her bed for three days, sent for her brother, told him she perceived her end drawing near, and desired that a lawyer might be brought, in order to write her last will. Mr Pickle, surprised at her demand, began to act the part of a comforter, assuring her that her distemper was not at all dangerous; and that he would instantly send for a physician, who would convince her that she was in no manner of jeopardy ; so that there was no occasion at present to employ an officious attorney in such a melancholy task. Indeed, this affectionate brother was of opinion, that a will was altogether superfluous at any rate, as he himself w r as heir-at-law to his sister’s whole real and personal estate. Rut she insisted upon his compliance with such determined obstinacy, that he could no longer re¬ sist her importunities ; and a scrivener arriving, she dictated and executed her will, in which she bequeathed to Coin- modoreTrunnion one thousand pounds topurchase a mourn¬ ing ring, which she hoped he would wear as a pledge of her friendship and affection. Her brother, though he did not much relish this testimony of her love, nevertheless that same evening gave an aecount of this particular to Mr Hatch¬ way, who was also, as Mr Pickle assured him, generously remembered by the testatrix. The lieutenant, fraught with this piece of intelligence, watched for an opportunity ; and as soon as he perceived the commodore’s features a little unbended from that fero¬ cious contraction they had retained so long, ventured to in¬ form him that Pickle’s sister lay at the point of death, and that she had left him a thousand pounds in her will. This piece of news overwhelmed him with confusion ; and Mr Hatchway, imputing his silence to remorse, resolved to take 38 THE ADVENTURES OF advantage of that favourable moment, and counselled him to go and visit the poor young woman, who was dying for love of him. But his admonition happened to be somewhat useasonable; for Trunnion no sooner heard him mention the cause of her disorder, than, his morosity recurring, he burst out into a violent fit of cursing, and forthwith betook himself again to his hammock, where he lay uttering, in a low growling tone of voice, a repetition of oaths and impre¬ cations, for the space of four-and-twenty hours without ceas¬ ing. This was a delicious meal to the lieutenant, who, eager to enhance the pleasure of the entertainment, and, at the same time, conduce to the success of the cause he had es¬ poused, invented a stratagem, the execution of which had all the effect he could desire. He prevailed upon Pipes, who was devoted to his service, to get upon the top of the chim¬ ney belonging to the commodore’s chamber, at midnight, and to lower down by a rope a bunch of stincking w hitings ; which being performed, he put a speaking trumpet to his mouth, and hollowed down the vent, in a voice like thun¬ der, ‘Trunnion! Trunnion! turnout and be spliced, or lie still and be damned . 1 This dreadful note, the terror of which was increased by the silence and darkness of the night, as well as the echo of the passage through which it was con¬ veyed, no sooner reached the ears of the astonished commo¬ dore, than turning his eye towards the place from whence this solemn address seemed to proceed, he beheld a glitter¬ ing object that vanished in an instant. Just as his supersti¬ tious fear had improved the apparition into some superna¬ tural messenger clothed in shining array, his opinion was confirmed by a sudden explosion, which he took for thunder, though it was no other than the noise of a pistol fired down the chimney by the boatswain's mate, according to the in¬ structions he had received ; and he had time enough to de¬ scend before lie was in any danger of being detected by his commander, who could not for a whole hour recollect himself from the amazement and consternation which had over¬ powered his faculties. At length, however, he got up and rung his bell with PEREGRINE PICKLE. 3i) great agitation. He repeated the summons more than once; but no regard being paid to this alarm, his dread returned with double terror: a cold sweat bedewed his limbs, his knees knocked together, his hair bristled up, and the re¬ mains of his teeth were shattered to pieces in the convulsive vibrations of his jaws. In the midst of this agony, he made one desperate effort, and, bursting open the door of his apartment, bolted into Hatchway’s chamber, which happened to be on the same floor. There he found the lieutenant in a counterfeit swoon, who pretended to wake from his trance in an ejaculation of 4 Lord have mercy upon us P And being questioned by the terri¬ fied commodore, with regard to what had happened, assur¬ ed him he had heard the same voice and clap of thunder by which Trunnion himself had been discomposed. Pipes, whose turn it was to watch, concurred in giving evidence to the same purpose ; and the commodore not only owned that he had heard the voice, but likewise communi¬ cated his vision, with all the aggravation which his disturb¬ ed fancy suggested. A consultation immediately ensued, in which Mr. Hatch way very gravely observed, that the finger of God was plain¬ ly perceivable in those signals; and that it would be both sinful and foolish to disregard his commands, especially as the match proposed was, in all respects, more advantageous than any that one at his years and infirmities could reason¬ ably expect; declaring, that, for his own part, he would not endanger his soul and body, by living one day longer under the same roof with a man who despised the holy will of hea¬ ven ; and Tom Pipes adhered to the same pious resolution. Trunnion’s perseverance could not resist the number and diversity of considerations that assaulted it; he revolved in silence all the opposite motives that occurred to his reflec¬ tion ; and after having been, to all appearance, bewildered in the labyrinth of his own thoughts, he wiped the sweat from his forehead, and, heaving a piteous groan, yielded to their remonstrances, in these words : £ Well, since must be so, I think we must e’en grapple: but, damn my 40 THE ADVENTURES OF eyes! ’tis a damn’d hard case that a fellow of my years should be compelled, d’ye see, to beat up to windward all the rest of his life, against the current of his own inclination. Th is important article being discussed, Mr Hatchway set out in the morning to visit the despairing shepherdess, and was handsomely rewarded for the enlivening tidings with which he blessed her ears. Sick as she was, she could not help laughing heartily at the contrivance, in consequence of which her swain’s assent had been obtained, and gave the lieutenant ten guineas for Tom Pipes, in consideration of the part he had acted in the farce. In the afternoon the commodore suffered himself to be conveyed to her apartment, like a felon to execution, and was received by her in a languishing manner, and genteel dishabille, accompanied by her sister-in-law, who was, for very obvious reasons, extremely solicitous about her success. Though the lieutenant had tutored him, touching his be¬ haviour at this interview, he made a thousand wry face be¬ fore he could pronounce the simple salutation of how d’ye ? to his mistress; and, after his counsellor had urged him with twenty or thirty whispers, to each of which he had replied aloud, ’ Damn your eyes, I won’t,’ he got up, and halting towards the couch on which Mrs Grizzle reclined in a state of strange expectation, he seized her hand, and press¬ ed it to his lips ; but this piece of gallantry he performed in such a reluctant, uncouth, indignant manner, that the nymph had need of all her resolution to endure the com¬ pliment without shrinking; and he himself was so discon¬ certed at what he had done, that he instantly retired to the other end of the room, where he sat silent, broiling with shame and vexation. Mrs Pickle, like a sensible matron, quitted the place, on pretence of going to the nursery; and Mr Hatchway, taking the hint, recollected that he had left his tobacco pouch in the parlour, whither he immedi¬ ately descended, leaving the two lovers to their mutual en¬ dearments. Never had the commodore found himself in such a disagreeable dilemma before. He sat in an agony of suspense, as if he every moment dreaded the dissolution of PEREGRINE PICKLE. 41 nature ; and the imploring sighs of his future bride added if possible, to the pangs of his distress. Impatient of his situation, he rolled his eye around in quest of some relief, and, unable to contain himself, exclaimed, 4 Damnation seize the fellow and his pouch too! I believe he has sheer¬ ed off, and left me here in the stays . 1 Mrs Grizzle, who could not help taking some notice of this manifestation of chagrin, lamented her unhappy fate in being so disagreeable to him, that he could nor put up with her company for a few moments without repining; and began, in very tender terms, to reproach him with his inhumanity and indifference. To this expostulation he replid ,— 4 Zounds! what would the woman have ? let the parson do his office when he wool: here I am ready to be reeved in the matrimonial block, d’ye see, and damn all nonsensical palaver . 1 So saying, he retreated, leaving his mistress not at all disobliged at his plain dealing. That same evening the treaty of marriage was brought upon the carpet, and, by means of Mr Pickle and the lieutenant, settled to the satisfaction of all parties, without the intervention of lawyers, whom Mr Trunnion expressly excluded from all share in the business; making that condition the indispensable preliminary of the whole agreement. Things being brought to this bearing, Mrs Grizzle’s heart dilated with joy : her health, which, by the was never dangerously impaired, she recovered as if by enchantment; and a day being fixed for the nuptials, em¬ ployed the short period of her celibacy in chusing ornaments for the celebration of her entrance into the married state. CHAPTER VIII. Preparations are made for the commodore's wedding,which is de¬ layed by an accident that hurried him the Lord knows whither . The fame of this extraordinary conjunction spread all over the county ; and on the day appointed for their spousals, the church was surrounded by an inconceivable multitude. The commodore, to give a specimen of his gallantry, by 42 THE ADVENTURES OP the advice of his friend Hatchway, resolved to appear on horseback on the grand occasion, at the head of all his male attendants, whom he had rigged with the white shirts and black caps formerly belonging to his barge's crew; and he bought a couple of hunters for the accommodation of him¬ self and his lieutenant. With this equipage, then, he set out from the garrison for the church, after having dispatched a messenger to apprise the bride that he and his company were mounted. She got immediately into the coach, accom¬ panied by her brother and his wife, and drove directlv to the place of assignation, where several pews were demolish¬ ed, and divers persons almost pressed to death, by the ea¬ gerness of the crowd that broke in to see the ceremony per¬ formed. dims arrived at the altar, and the priest in atten¬ dance, they waited a whole half hour for the commodore at whose slowness they began to be under some apprehen¬ sion, and accordingly dismissed a servant to quicken his pace. The valet having rode something more than a mile espied the whole troop disposed in a long field, crossing the road obliquely, and heeded by the bridegroom and his friend Hatchway, who, finding himself hindered by a hedge from proceeding farther in the same direction, fired a pistol, and stood over to the other side, making an obtuse angle with the line of his former course; and the rest of the squadron followed his example, keeping always in the rear of each other like a flight of wild geese. Surprised at this strange method of journeying, the mes¬ senger came up, and told the commodore that his lady and 3ier company expected him in the church, where they had tarried a considerable time, and were beginning to be very uneasy at his delay ; and therefore desired he would proceed wifh more expedition. To this message Mr Trunnion re¬ plied,— 4 Hark ye, brother, don't you see we make all pos¬ sible speed ? go back, and tell those who sent you, that the wind has shifted since we weighed anchor, and that we are obliged to make very short trips in tacking, by reason of the narrowness of the channel; and that as we lie within six points of the wind, they must make some allowance for PEREGRINE PICKLE. 43 variation and leeway.’ fi Lord, Sir! said the valet, what oc¬ casion have you to go zig-zag in that manner P do but clap spurs to your horses, and ride straight forward, and I’ll en¬ gage you shalf be at the church-porch in less than a quar¬ tet of an hour.’ 4 What ! right in the wind’s eye ?' answer¬ ed the commander: 4 ahey ! brother, where did you learn your navigation? Hawser Trunnion is not to be taught at this time of day how to lie his course, or keep his own reck¬ oning. And as for you, brother, you best know the trim of your own frigate.’ The courier finding he had to do with people who would not be easily persuaded out of their own opinions, returned to the temple, and made a report of what he had seen and heard, to the no small consolation of the bride, who had begun to discover some signs of disquiet. Composed, however, by this piece of intelligence, she exert¬ ed her patience for the space of another half hour, during which period, seeing no bridegroom arrive, she w r as exceed¬ ingly alarmed ; so that all the spectators could easily perceive her pertubation, which manifested itself in frequent palpita¬ tions, heart-heavings, and alterations of countenance, in spite of the assistance of a smelling-bottle, \yhich she in¬ cessantly applied to her nostrils. Various were the conjectures of the company on this oc¬ casion ; some imagined he had mistaken the place of ren¬ dezvous, as he had never been at church since he first set¬ tled in that parish : others believed he had met with some accident, in consequence of which his attendants had car¬ ried him back to his own house; and a third set, in which the bride herself was thought to be comprehended, could not help suspecting that the commodore had changed his mind, But all these suppositions, ingenious as they were, happen¬ ed to be wide of the true cause that detained him, which was no other than this.—The commodore and his crew had, by dint of turning, almost weathered the parson’s house that stood to windward of the church, when the notes of a pack of hounds unluckily reached the ears of the tw r o hunters which Trunnion and the lieutenant bestrode. These fleet animals no sooner heard the enlivening sound, than, eager 44 THE ADVENTURES OF for the chase, they sprang away all of a sudden, and strain¬ ing every nerve to partake of the sport, flew across the fields with incredible speed, overleaped hedges and ditches, and every thing in their way, without the least regard to their unfortunate riders. The lieutenant, whose steed had got the heels of the other, finding it would be great folly and presumption in him to pretend to keep the saddle with his wooden leg, very wisely took the opportunity of throwing himself off in his passage through a field of rich clover, among which he lay at his ease ; and seeing his captain advancing at full gallop, hailed him with the salutation of 6 What cheer ? ho !’ The commodore, w T ho was in infinite distress, eyeing him askance as he passed, replied with a faltering voice ,— ( O damn you ! you are safe at an anchor : I wish to God I were as fast moored.’ Nevertheless, con¬ scious of his disabled heel, be would not venture to try the experiment which had succeeded so well with Hatchway, but resolved to stick as close as possible to his horse’s back, until Providence should interpose in his behalf. With this view he dropped his whip, and with his right hand laid fast hold on the pummel, contracting every muscle in his body to secure himself in the seat, and grinning most for¬ midably, in consequence of this exertion. In this attitude he was hurried on a considerable way, when all of a sudden his view was comforted by a five-bar gate that appeared be¬ fore him, as he never doubted that there the career of his hunter must necessarily end. But, alas ! he reckoned with¬ out his host: far from halting at this obstruction, the horse sprung over it with amazing agility, to the utter confusion and disorder of his owner, who lost his hat and periwig in the leap, and now began to think in good earnest that he was actually mounted on the back of the devil. He recom¬ mended himself to God, bis reflection forsook him, his eye¬ sight and all his other senses failed, he quitted the reins, and, fastening by instinct on the mane, was in this condition con veyed into the midst of the sportsmen, who were astonished at the sight of such an apparition. Neither was their sur¬ prise to be wondered at, if we reflect on the figure that pre- PEREGRINE PICKLE. 45 sented itself to their view. The commodore’s person was at all times an object of admiration; much more so on this oc¬ casion, when every singularity was aggravated by the cir¬ cumstances of his dress and disaster. He had put on, in honour of his nuptials, his best coat of blue broad cloth, cut by a tailor of Ramsgate, and trimmed with five dozen of brass buttons, large and small; his breeches were of the same piece, fastened at the knees with large bunches of tape; his waistcoat was of red plush, lapelled with green velvet, and garnished with vellum holes; his boots bore an infinite resemblance, both in colour and shape, to a pair of leather buckets; his shoulder was graced with a broad buff belt, from whence depended a huge hanger, with a hilt like that of a backsword; and on each side of his pummel appeared a rusty pistol, rammed in a case covered with a bearskin. The loss of his tie periwig and laced hat, which were curiosities of the kind, did not at all contribute to the improvement of the picture, but, on the contrary, by exhibiting his bald pate, and the natural extension of his lanthorn jaws, added to the peculiarity and extravagance of the whole. Such a spectacle could not have failed of di¬ verting the whole company from the chase, had his horse thought proper to pursue a different route, but the beast was too keen a sporter to choose any other way than that which the stag followed; and therefore, without stopping to gra, tify the curiosity of the spectators, he, in a few minutes, out¬ stripped every hunter in the field. There being a deep hol¬ low way betwixt him and the hounds,rather than ride round about the length of a furlong to a path that crossed the lane, he transported himself at one jump, to the unspeakable as¬ tonishment and terror of a waggoner who chanced to be un¬ derneath, and saw this phenomenon fly over his carriage. This was not the only adventure he achieved. The stag having taken a deep river that lay in his way, every man directed his course to a bridge in the neighbourhood ; but our bridegroom’s courser, despising all such conveniencies, plunged into the stream without hesitation, and swam in a twinkling to the opposite shore. This sudden immersion in- 46 THE ADVENTURES OF to an element, of which Trunnion was properly a native? in all probability helped to recruit the exhausted spirits of his rider, who, at lus landing on the other side, gave some tokens of sensation, by hollowing aloud for assistance, which he could not possibly receive, because his horse still main¬ tained the advantage he had gained, and would not allow* himself to be overtaken. In short, after a long chase, that lasted several hours, and extended to a dozen miles at least, he was the first in at the death of the deer, being seconded by the lieutenant’s geld¬ ing, which, actuated by the same spirit, had, without a rider, followed his companion’s example. Our bridegroom finding himself at last brought up, or, in other words, at the end of his career, took the opportunity of the first pause, to desire the huntsmen would lend him a hand in dismounting ; and was by their condescension safely placed on the grass, where he sat staring at the company as they came in, with such wildness of astonishment in his looks, as if lie had been a creature of another species, dropt among them from the clouds. Before they had fleshed the hounds, however, he recol¬ lected himself, and seeing one of the sportsmen take a small flask out of his pocket and apply it to his mouth, judged the cordial to be no other than neat coniac, which it really was ; and expressing a desire of participation, was immedi¬ ately accommodated with a moderate dose, which perfectly completed his recovery. By this time he and his two horses had engrossed the at¬ tention of the whole crowd : while some admired the elegant proportion and uncommon spirit of the two animals, the rest contemplated the surprising appearance of their master, whom before they had only seen en passant; and at length one of the gentlemen accosting him very courteously, sig¬ nified his wonder at seeing him in such an equipage, and asked him if he had not dropped his companion by the way ? 6 Why, look ye, brother,’ replied the commodore, 4 mayhap you think me an odd sort of a fellow, seeing me in this trim, especially as I have lost part of my rigging ; but this here is PEREGRINE PICKLE. 47 the case, d’ye see: I weighed anchor from my own house this morning at ten A. M. with fair weather and a favour¬ able breeze at south-south east, being bound to the next church on the voyage of matrimony ; but howsomever, we had not run down a quarter of a league, when the wind shifting, blowed directly in our teeth ; so that we were forced to tack all the way d’ye see, and had almost beat up within sight of the port, when these sons of bitches of horses, which I had bought but two days before (for my own part, I be r lieve they are devils incarnate), luffed round in a trice, and then refusing the helm, drove away like lightning with me and my lieutenant, who soon came to anchor in an exceeding good birth. As for my own part, I have been carried over rocks, and flats, and quicksands, among which I have pitched away a special good tie-periwig, and an iron-bound hat; and at last, thank God, am got into smooth water and safe riding; but if ever I venture my carcase upon such hare’um scare’um blood of a bitch again, my name is not Hawser Trunnion* damn my eyes !’ One of the company, struck with this name, which he had often heard, immediately laid hold on his declaration at the close of this singular account; and observing that his horses were very vicious, asked how he intended to return ? 4 As for that matter,’ replied Mr Trunnion, 4 I am resolved to hire a sledge or waggon, or such thing as a jack-ass; for Til be damned if ever I cross the back of a horse again.’ 4 And what do you propose to do with these creatures ?’ (said the other, pointing to the hunters), 4 they seem to have some mettle ; but then they are mere colts, and will take the devil and all of breaking. Methinks this hinder one is shoulder-slipped.’ 4 Damn them,’ cried the commodore, 4 I wish both their necks were broke, thof the two cost me forty good yellow-boys.’ 4 Forty guineas !’ (exclaimed the stranger, who was a squire and a jockey, as well as owner of the pack), 4 Lord ! Lord ! how a man may be imposed upon ! Why, these cattle are clumsy enough to go to plough : mind what a flat counter; do but observe how sharp this here one is in the withers ? then he’s fired in the further fet- 48 THE ADVENTURES OF lock.’ In short, this connoisseur in horse flesh, having dis¬ covered in them all the defects which can possibly be found in that species of animals, offered to give him ten guineas for the two, saying he would convert them into beasts of burden. The owner, who (after what had happened) was very well disposed to listen to any thing that was said to their prejudice, implicitly believed the truth of the stranger’s asseverations, discharged a furious volley of oaths against the rascal who had taken him in, and forthwith struck a bargain with the squire, who paid him instantly for his purchase ; in consequence of which he won the plate at the next Canterbury races. Th is affair being transacted to the mutual satisfaction of both parties, as well as to the general entertainment of the company, who laughed in their sleeves at the dexterity of their friend, Trunnion was set upon the squire’s own horse, and Jed by his servant in the midst of this cavalcade, which proceeded to a neighbouring village, where they had bespoke dinner, and where our bridegroom found means to provide himself with another hat and wig. With regard to his mar¬ riage, he bore his disappointment with the temper of a phi¬ losopher; and the exercise he had undergone having quick¬ ened his appetite, sat down at table in the midst of his new acquaintance, making a very hearty meal, and moistening every morsel with a draught of the ale, which he found very much to his satisfaction. CHAPTER IX. He is found by the lieutenant—recoriducted to his own house — married to Mrs Grizzle—who meets with a small misfortune in the nighty and asserts her prerogative next morning—in consequence of which , her husband's eye is endangered. Meanwhile Lieutenant Hatchway made shift to hobble to the church, where he informed the company of what had happened to the commodore ; and the bride behaved with great decency on the occasion ; for, as soon as she under- PEREGRINE PICKLE. 49 stood the danger to which her future husband was expo¬ sed, she fainted in the arms of her sister-in-law, to the sur¬ prise of all the spectators, who could not comprehend the cause of her disorder; and when she was recovered by the application of smelling-bottles, earnestly begged that Mr. Hatchway and Tom Pipes would take her brother’s coach, and go in quest of their commander. X ms task they readdy undertook, being escorted by all the rest of his adherents on horseback ; while the bride and her friends were invited to the parson’s house, and the ceremony deferred till another occasion/ ' The lieutenant, steering his course as near the line of di¬ rection in which Trunnion went off, as the coach road would permit, got intelligence of his track from one farm-house to another; for such an apparition could not fail of attracting particular notice: and one of the horsemen having picked up his hat and wig in a bye-path, the whole troop entered the village where he was lodged, about four o’clock in the after¬ noon. When they understood he was safely housed at the George, tney lode up to the door in a body, and expressed their satisfaction in three cheers, which were returned by the company within, as soon as they were instructed in the natui e of the salute by Xrunnion, who by this tune had en¬ tered into all the jollity of his new friends, and was indeed more than half seas over. The lieutenant was introduced to all present as his sworn brother, and had something tossed up foi his dinner. Pom Xhpes and the crew were regaled in another room; and a fresh pair of horses being put to the coacn, about six in the evening the commodore, with all his attendants, departed for the garrison, after having shook hands with every individual in the house. Without any farther accident, he was conveyed in safety to his own gate, before nine, and committed to the care of Pipes, who carried him instantly to his hammock, while the lieutenant was driven away to the place where the bride and her friends remained in great anxiety, which vanished when lie assured them that his commodore was safe, being suc¬ ceeded by aoundance of mirth and pleasantry, at the account he gave of Trunnion’s adventure. VoL II, n 50 THE ADVENTU RES OF Another day was fixed for the nuptials; and in order to baulk the curiosity of idle people, which had given great offence, the parson was prevailed upon to perform the cere¬ mony in the garrison, which all that day was adorned with flags and pendants displayed, and at night illuminated by the direction of Hatchway, who also ordered the patereroes to be fired as soon as the marriage knot was tied. Neither o were the other parts of the entertainment neglected by this ingenious contriver, who produced undeniable proofs of his elegance and art in the wedding supper, which had been com- mitted to his management and direction. This genial banquet was entirely composed of sea dishes : a huge pillaw, consist¬ ing of a large piece of beef sliced, a couple of fowls, and half a peck of rice, smoked in the middle of the board ; a dish of hard fish swimming in oil appeared at each end, the sides being furnished with a mess of that savoury composition known by the name of lobscourse, and a plate of salmagundy. The second course displayed a goose of a monstrous magni¬ tude, flanked with two Guinea hens, a pig barbecued, an hock of salt pork in the midst of a pease pudding, a leg of mutton roasted, with potatoes, and another boiled with yams. The third service was made up with a loin of fresh pork with apple sauce, a kid smothered with onions, and a terrapin baked in the shell ; and, last of all, a prodigious sea- pye was presented, with an infinite volume of pancakes and fritters. That every thing might be answerable to the mag¬ nificence of this delicate feast, he had provided vast quan¬ tities of strong beer, flip, rumbo, and burnt brandy, with plenty of Barbadoes water, for the ladies, and hired all the fiddles within six miles, who, with the addition of a drum, bagpipe, and Welch harp, regaled the guests with a most melodious concert. The company, who were not at all exceptions, seemed ex¬ tremely well pleased with every particular of the entertain¬ ment; and the evening being spent in the most social man¬ ner, the bride was by her sister conducted to her apartment, where, however, a trifling circumstance had like to have de*. Stroyed the harmony which had been hitherto maintained. PEREGRINE PICKLE. 51 I have already observed, that there was not one standing bed within the walls; therefore the reader will not wonder that Mrs Trunnion was out of humour, when she found her¬ self under the necessity of being confined with her spouse in a hammock, which, though enlarged with a double portion of canvas, and dilated with a yoke for the occasion, was at best but a disagreeable, not to sav dangerous situation. She accordingly complained with some warmth of this incon¬ venience, which she imputed to disrespect, and at first abso¬ lutely refused to put up with the expedient; but Mrs Pickle soon brought her to reason and compliance, by observing that one night would soon be elapsed, and next day she might regulate her own economy, Thus persuaded, she ventured into the vehicle, and was visited by her husband in less than an hour, the company being departed to their own homes, and the garrison left to the command of his lieutenant and mate. But it seems the hooks that supported this swinging couch were not calcu¬ lated for the addition of weight which they were now destined to bear; and therefore gave way in the middle of the night, to the no small terror of Mrs Trunnion, who, perceiving herself falling, screamed aloud, and by that exclamation brought Hatchway, with a light into the chamber. Though she had received no injury by the fall, she was extremely discomposed and incensed at the accident, which she even openly ascribed to the obstinacy and whimsical oddity of the commodore, in such petulant terms as evidently declar¬ ed that she thought her great aim accomplished, and her authority secured against all the shocks of fortune. Indeed her bedfellow seemed to be of the same opinion, by his tacit resignation ; for he made no reply to her insinuations, but, with a most vinegar aspect, crawled out of his nest, and be¬ took himself to rest in another apartment, while his irrita¬ ted spouse dismissed the lieutenant, and from the wreck of the hammock made an occasional bed for herself on the Ooor, fully determined to provide better accommodation for the next night’s lodging. Having no inclination to sleep, her thoughts, during the i) 2 52 THE ADVENTURES OF remaining part of the night, were engrossed by a scheme oi reformation she was resolved to execute in the family ; and no sonner did the first lark bid salutation to the morn, than starting from her humble couch, and huddling on her clothes* she sallied from her chamber, explored her way through paths before unknown, and in the course of her researches, perceived a large bell, to which she made such effectual ap¬ plication as alarmed every soul in the family. In a moment she was surrounded by Hatchway, Pipes, and all the rest of the servants, half dressed ; but seeing none of the feminine gender appear, she began to storm at the sloth and laziness of the maids, who, she observed, ought to have been at work an hour at least before she called ; and then, for the first time, understood that no woman was permitted to sleep with¬ in the walls. She did not fail to exclaim against this regulation ; and being informed that the cook and chambermaid lodged in & small office-house, that stood without the gate, ordered the draw-bridge to be let down,and in person beat up their quar¬ ters, commanding them forthwith to set about scouring the rooms, which had not been hitherto kept in a very decent condition, while two men were immediately employed to transport the bed on which she used to lie, from her bro¬ ther’s house to her new habitation ; so that, in less than two hours, the whole economy of the garrison was turned topsy- turvev, and every thing involved in tumult and noise. Trim nion being disturbed and distracted with the uproar, turned out in his shirt like a maniac, and arming himself with a cudgel of crab-tree, made an irruption into his wife’s apart¬ ment, where, perceiving a couple of carpenters at work, in joining a bedstead, he, with many dreadful oaths and oppro¬ brious invectives, ordered them to desist, swearing he would suffer no bulk-heads nor hurricane houses to stand where he was master ; but finding his remonstrances disregarded bv these mechanics, who believed him to be some madman be¬ longing to the family, who had broke from his confinement, he assaulted them both with great fury and indignation, and was handled so roughly in the encounter, that, in a very short PEREGRINE PICKLE. 53 lime, lie measured his length on the floor, in consequence of a blow that he received from a hammer, by which the sight of his remaining eye was grievously endangered. Having thus reduced him to a state of subjection, they re¬ solved to secure him with cords, and were actually busy in adjusting his fetters, when he was exempted from the dis¬ grace, by the accidental entrance of his spouse, who rescued him from the hands of his adversaries, and, in the midst of her condolence, imputed his misfortune to the inconsiderate roughness of his own disposition. He breathed nothing but revenge, and made some efforts to chastise the insolence of the workmen, who, as soon as they understood his quality, asked forgiveness for what they had done with great humility, protesting that they did not know he was master of the house. But, far from being satis¬ fied with this apology, he groped about for the bell (the in¬ flammation of his eye having utterly deprived him of sight), and the rope being, by the precaution of the delinquents, conveyed out of his reach, began to storm with incredible vociferation, like a lion roaring in the toil, pouring forth innumerable oaths and execrations, and calling by name Hatchway and Pipes, who being within hearing, obeyed the extraordinary summons, and were ordered to put the car¬ penters in irons, for having audaciously assaulted him in his own house. His myrmidons seeing he had been evil entreated, were ex¬ asperated at the insult he had suffered, which they considered as an affront upon the dignity of the garrison : the more so, as the mutineers seemed to put themselves in a posture of defence, and set their authority at defiance : they therefore unsheathed their cutlasses, which they commonly wore as badges of their commission ; and a desperate engagement, in all probability, would have ensued, had not the lady of the castle interposed, and prevented the effects of their animosi¬ ty, by assuring the lieutenant that the commodore had been the aggressor, and that the workmen finding themselves at¬ tacked in such an extraordinary manner, by a person whom they did not know, were obliged to act in their own defence, by which he had received that unlucky contusion. u THE ADVENTURES OF Mr Hatchway no sooner learnt the sentiments of Mrs Trunnion, than sheathing his indignation, he told the com¬ modore that he should always be ready to execute his law¬ ful commands, but that he could not in conscience be con¬ cerned in oppressing poor people, who had been guilty of no offence. This unexpected declaration, together with the behaviour of his wife, who in his hearing desired the carpenters to re¬ sume their work, filled the breast of Trunnion with rage and mortification. He pulled off his woollen night-cap, pum¬ melled his bare pate, beat the floor alternately with his feet, swore his people had betrayed him, and cursed himself to the lowest pit of hell, for having admitted such a cockatrice into his family. But all these exclamations did not avail; they were among the last essays of his resistance to the will of his wife, whose influence among his adherents had already swallowed up his own, and who now peremptorily told him, that he must leave the management of every thing within doors to her, who understood best what was for his honour and advantage She then ordered a poultice to be prepared for his eye, which being applied, he was committed to the care of Pipes, by whom he was led about the house like a blind bear growling for prey, while his industrious yoke¬ fellow executed every circumstance of the plan she had pro¬ jected ; so that, when he recovered his vision, he was an utter stranger in his own house. CHAPTER X. 1 he commodore being in some cases restive , his lady has recourse to artifice in the establishment of her throne—she exhibits symptoms of pregnancy , to the unspeakable joy of Trunnion , who nevertheless is baulked in his expectation. These innovations weTe not effected without many loud ob¬ jections on his part; and divers curious dialogues passed be¬ tween him and his yoke-fellow, who always came off victo¬ rious from the dispute; insomuch that his countenance gra- PEREGRINE PICKLE. dually fell; he began to suppress, and at length entirely de¬ voured, his chagrin ; the terrors of superior authority were plainly perceivable in his features, and in less than three months he became a thorough-paced husband. Not that his obstinacy was extinguished, though overcome; in some things he was as inflexible and mulish as ever; but then he durst not kick so openly, and was reduced to the necessity of being passive in his resentments. Mrs Trunnion, for ex¬ ample, proposed that a coach and six should be purchased, as she could not ride on horseback, and the chaise was a scandalous carriage for a person of her condition ; the com¬ modore, conscious of his own inferior capacity in point of reasoning, did not think proper to dispute the proposal, but lent a deaf ear to her remonstrances, though they were en¬ forced with every argument which she thought could soothe, terrify, shame, or decoy him into compliance ; in vain did she urge the excess of affection she had for him, as meriting some return of tenderness and condescension ; he was even proof against certain menacing hints she gave, touching the resentment of a slighted woman, and he stood out against all the considerations of dignity or disgrace, like a bulwark of brass. Neither was he moved to any indecent or unkind expressions of contradiction, even when she upbraided him with his sordid disposition, and put him in mind of the for¬ tune and honour he had acquired by his marriage, but seemed to retire within himself, like a tortoise when attacked, that shrinks within its shell, and silently endured the scourge of her reproaches, without seeming sensible of the smart. This, however, was the only point in which she had been baffled since her nuptials ; and as she could by no means digest the miscarriage, she tortured her invention for some new plan, by which she might augment her influence and authority : what her genius refused was supplied by acci¬ dent d for she had not lived four months in the garrison, when she was seized with frequent qualms and retchings, her breasts began to harden, and her stomach to be remarkably prominent; in a word, she congratulated herself on the symptoms of her own fertility, and the commodore was trails- 56 THE ADVENTURES OF ported with joy at the prospect of an heir of his own be¬ getting. She knew this was the proper season for vindicating her own sovereignty, and accordingly employed the means which nature had put in her power. There was not a rare piece of furniture and apparel for which she did not long: and one day as she went to church, seeing Lady Stately’s equi¬ page arrive, she suddenly fainted away. Her husband, whose vanity had never been so perfectly gratified as with this promised harvest of his own sowing, took the alarm im¬ mediately, and in order to prevent relapses of that kind, which might be attended with fatal consequences to his hope, gave her leave to bespeak a coach, horses, and liveries, to her own liking. Thus authorised, she in a very little time exhibited such a specimen of her own taste and magnifi¬ cence, as afforded speculation to the whole country, and made Trunnion's heart quake within him, because he fore¬ saw no limits to her extravagance, which also manifested itself in tfie most expensive preparations for her lying-in. Her pride, which had hitherto regarded the representative of her father’s house, seemed now to lose all that hereditary respect, and prompt her to outshine and undervalue the elder branch of her family. She behaved to Mrs Pickle with a sort of civil reserve that implied a conscious superiority ; and an emulation in point of grandeur immediately commenced between the two sisters. She every day communicated her importance to the whole parish, under pretence of taking the air in her coach, and endeavoured to extend her ac¬ quaintance among people of fashion. Nor was this an un¬ dertaking attended with great difficulty ; for all persons whatever, capable of maintaining a certain appearance, will always find admission into what is called the best company, and be rated, in point of character, according to their own valuation, without subjecting their pretensions to the small* est doubt or examination. In all her visits and parties, she seized every opportunity of declaring her present condition, observing that she was forbid by her physicians to taste such a pickle, and that such a dish was poison to a woman PEREGRINE PICKLE. 57 in her way ; nay, where she was on a footing of familiarity, she affected to make wry faces, and complained that the young rogue began to be very unruly, writhing herself into divers contortions, as if she had been grievously incommod¬ ed by the metal of this future Trunnion. The husband him¬ self did not behave with all the moderation that might have been expected : at the club he frequently mentioned this circumstance of his own vigour as a pretty successful feat to be performed by an old fellow of fifty-five, and confirm¬ ed the opinion of his strength by redoubled squeezes of the landlord’s hand, which never failed extorting a satisfac¬ tory certificate of his might. When his companions drank to the Hans in kelder, or dack in the low cellar, he could not help displaying an extraordinary complacence of coun¬ tenance, and signified his intention of sending the young dog to sea, as soon as he should be able to carry a cartridge, in hopes of seeing him an officer before his own death. This hope helped to console him under the extraordinary expence to which he was exposed by the profusion of his wife, especially when he considered that his compliance with her prodigality would be limited to the expiration of the nine months, of which the best part was by this time elapsed; yet, in spite of all this philosophical resignation, her fancy sometimes soared to such a ridiculous and into¬ lerable pitch of insolence and absurdity, that his temper forsook him, and he could not help wishing in secret, that her pride might be confounded in the dissipation of her most flattering hopes, even though he himself should be a prin¬ cipal sufferer by the disappointment. These, however, were no other than the suggestions of temporary disgusts, that commonly subsided as suddenly as they arose, and ne¬ ver gave the least disturbance to the person who inspired them, because he took care to conceal them carefully from her knowledge. Meanwhile she happily advanced in her reckoning, with the promise of a favourable issue ; the term of her compu¬ tation expired, and in the middle of the night she was vi¬ sited by certain warnings that seemed to bespeak the ap~ 58 THE ADVENTURES OF proach of the critical moment. The commodore got up with great alacrity, and called the midwife, who had been several days in the house ; the gossips were immediately summoned, and the most interesting expectations prevailed ; but the symptoms of labour gradually vanished, and, as the matrons sagely observed, this was no more than a false alarm. Two nights after, they received a second intimation ; and as she was sensibly diminished in the waist, every thing was supposed to be in a fair way : yet this visitation was not more conclusive than the former ; her pains wore off in spite of all her endeavours to encourage them, and the good women betook themselves to their respective homes, in ex¬ pectation of finding the third attack decisive, alluding to the well known maxim, that number three is always fortunate. For once, however, this apothegm failed ; the next call was altogether as ineffectual as the former ; and moreover attend¬ ed with a phenomenon which to them was equally strange and inexplicable: this was nO other than such a reduction in th e size of Mrs Trunnion as might have been expected after the birth of a full-grown child. Startled at such an unaccountable event, they sat in close divan ; and conclud¬ ing that the case was in all respects unnatural and pro¬ digious, desired that a messenger might be immediately dispatched for some male practitioner in the art of mid¬ wifery. The commodore, without guessing the cause of their per¬ plexity, ordered Pipes immediately on this piece of duty; and in less than two hours they were assisted by the advice of a surgeon of the neighbourhood, who boldly affirmed that the patient had never been with child. This asseveration was like a clap of thunder to Mr Trunnion, who had been, dur¬ ing eight whole days and nights, in continual expectation of being hailed with the appellation of father. After some recollection, he swore the .surgeon was an ig¬ norant fellow, and that he would not take his word for what he advanced, being comforted and confirmed in his want of faith by the insinuations of the midwife, who still PEREGRINE PICKLE. 59 persisted to feed Mrs Trunnion with hopes of a speedy and safe delivery; observing that she had been concerned in manv a case of the same nature, where a fine child was found, even after all signs of the mother’s pregnancy had disappeared. Every twig of hope, how slender soever it may be, is eagerly caught hold on by people who find them¬ selves in danger of being disappointed. To every question proposed by her to the lady with the preambles of 6 han’t you ?’ or 4 don’t you?’ an answer was made in the affirma¬ tive, whether agreeable to truth or not; because the respon¬ dent could not find in her heart to disown any symptom that might favour the notion she had so long indulged. This experienced proficient in the obstetric art was there¬ fore kept in close attendance for the space of three weeks, during which the patient had several returns of what she pleased herself with believing to he labour pains, till at length she and her husband became the standing joke of the parish ; and this infatuated couple could scarce be prevailed upon to part with their hopes, even when she appeared as lank as a greyhound, and they were furnished with other unquestionable proofs of their having been deceived. But they could not for ever remain under the influence of this sweet delusion, which at last faded away, and was succeed¬ ed by a paroxysm of shame and confusion, that kept the husband within doors for the space of a whole fortnight, and confined his lady to her bed for a series of weeks, during which she suffered all the anguish of the most intense mor¬ tification ; yet even this was subdued by the lenient hand of time. The first respite from her chagrin was employed in the strict discharge of what are called the duties of religion, which she performed with the most rancorous severity, set¬ ting on foot a persecution in her own family, that made the house too hot for all the menial servants, even ruffled the almost invincible indifference of Tom Pipes, harassed the commodore himself out of all patience, and spared no individual but lieutenant Hatchway, whom she never ven¬ tured to disoblige* the adventures of §0 CHAPTER XL Mrs Trunnion erects a tyranny in the garrison , while her hus - conceives an affection for his nephew Perry , icAo mani¬ fests a peculiarity of disposition even in his lender years. Having exercised herself three months in such pious amuse¬ ments, she appeared again in the world ; but her misfortune had made such an impression on her mind, that she could not bear the sight of a child, and trembled whenever the conversation happened to turn upon a christening. Her temper, which was naturally none of the sweetest, seemed to have imbibed a double proportion of souring from her disappointment ; of consequence, her company was not much coveted, and she found very few people disposed to treat her with those marks of consideration which she look¬ ed upon as her due. This neglect detached her from the society of an unmannerly world ; she concentered the energy of all her talents in the government of her own house, which groaned accordingly under her arbitrary sway; and in the brandy bottle found ample consolation for all the affliction she had undergone. As for the commodore, he, in a little time, weathered his disgrace, after having sustained many severe jokes from the lieutenant; and now his chief aim being to be absent from his own house as much as possible, he frequented the public house more than ever, more assiduously cultivated the friend¬ ship of his brother-in-law, Mr Pickle, and, in the course of their intimacy, conceived an affection for his nephew Perry, which did not end but with his life. Indeed, it must be owned that Trunnion was not naturally deficient in the social passions of the soul, which, though they were strange¬ ly warped, disguised, and overborne, by the circumstances of his boisterous life and education, did not fail to mani¬ fest themselves occasionally through the whole course of his behaviour. PEREGRINE PICKLE, 61 As all the hopes of propagating his own name had perished, and his relations lay under the interdiction of his hate, it is no wonder that, through the familiarity and friendly in~ tercourse subsisting between him and Mr Gamaliel, he. con¬ tracted a liking for the boy, who by this time entered the third year of his age, and was indeed a very handsome, healthy, and promising child ; and what seemed to ingra¬ tiate him still more with his uncle, was a certain oddity of disposition, for which he had been remarkable, even from his cradle. It is reported of him, that, before the first year of his infancy was elapsed, he used very often, immediately after being dressed, in the midst of the caresses which were bestowed upon him by his mother, while she indulged her¬ self in the contemplation of her own happiness, all of a sud¬ den, to alarm her with a fit of shrieks and cries, which con¬ tinued with great violence till he was stripped to the skin with the utmost expedition, by order of his affrighted pa¬ rent, who thought his tender body was tortured by the mis¬ application of some unlucky pin ; and when he had given them all this disturbance and unnecessary trouble, he would he-sprawling and laughing in their faces, as if he ridiculed the impertinence of their concern. Nay, it is affirmed, that one day, when an old woman, who attended in the nursery, had by stealth conveyed a bottle of cordial waters to her mouth, he pulled his nurse by the sleeve, and, by a slight glance detecting the theft, tipt her the wink with a particu¬ lar slyness of countenance, as if he had said with a sneer,— 6 Ay, ay, that is what you must all come to.’ But these in¬ stances of reflection in a babe nine months old are so incre¬ dible, that I look upon them as ex post facto observations, founded upon imaginary recollection, when he was in a more advanced age, and his peculiarities of temper become much more remarkable ;—of a piece with the ingenious dis¬ coveries of those sagacious observers who can discern some¬ thing evidently characteristic in the features of any noted personage, whose character they have previously heard ex¬ plained: yet, without pretending to specify at what period ®f his childhood this singularity first appeared, I can with 62 THE ADVENTURES OP great truth declare, that, when he first, attracted the notice and affection of his uncle, it was plainly perceivable. One would imagine he had marked out the commodore as a proper object of ridicule, for almost all his little childish satire was levelled against him I will not deny that he might have been influenced in this particular by the ex¬ ample and instruction of Mr Hatchway, who delighted in superintending the first essays of his genius. As the gout had taken up its residence in Mr Trunnion's great toe, from whence it never removed, no not for a day, little Perry took great pleasure in treading by accident on this infirm mem¬ ber ; and when his uncle, incensed by the pain, used to damn him for a hell-begotten brat, he would appease him in a twinkling, by returning the curse with equal emphasis, and asking what was the matter with old Hannibal Tough ; an appellation by which the lieutenant had taught him to dis¬ tinguish this grim commander. Neither was this the only experiment he tried upon the patience of the commodore, with whose nose he used to take indecent freedoms, even while he was fondled on his knee; in one month he put him to the expense of two guineas in seal-skin, by picking his pocket of divers tobacco pouches, all of which he in secret committed to the flames. Nor did the caprice of his disposition abstain from the favourite be verage of Trunnion, who more than once swallowed a whole fraught, in which his brother’s snuff box had been emptied, before he perceived the disagreeable infusion : and one day, when the commodore had chastised him by a gen¬ tle tap with his cane, he fell flat on the floor, as if he had been deprived of all sense and motion, to the terror and amazement of the striker ; and after having filled the whole house with confusion and dismay, opened his eyes, and laughed heartily at the success of his own imposition. It would be an endless, and perhaps no very agreeable task, to enumerate all the unlucky pranks he played upon his uncle and others, before he attained the fourth year of his age ; about which time he was sent, with an attendant, to a day-school in the neighbourhood, that (to use his good ma» PEREGRINE PICKLE. 63 tiler’s own expression) he might be out of harm’s way. Here, however, he made little progress, except in mischief, which he practised with impunity, because the schoolmistress would run no risk of disobliging a lady of fortune, by exercising unnecessary severities upon her only child. Nevertheless, Mrs Pickle was not so blindly partial as to be pleased with such unseasonable indulgence. Perry was taken out of the hands of this courteous teacher, and committed to the in¬ struction of a pedagogue, who was ordered to administer such correction as the boy should (in his opinion) deserve. This authority he did not neglect to use: his pupil was re¬ gularly flogged twice a-day ; and, after having been sub¬ jected to this course of discipline for the space of eighteen months, declared the most obstinate, dull, and untoward genius that ever had fallen under his cultivation ; instead of being reformed, he seemed rather hardened and confirmed in his vicious inclinations, and was dead to all sense of fear as well as shame. His mother was extremely mortified at these symptoms of stupidity, which she considered as an in¬ heritance derived from the spirit of his father, and conse¬ quently unsurmountable by all the efforts of human care. But the commodore rejoiced over the ruggedness of his na¬ ture, and was particularly pleased, when, upon inquiry, he found that Perry had beaten all the boys in the school; a circumstance from which he prognosticated every thing that was fair and fortunate in his future fate ; observing that, at his age, he himself was just such another. The boy, who was now turned of six, having profited so little under the birch of his unsparing governor, Mrs Pickle w ? as coun¬ selled to send him to a boarding-school not far from Lon¬ don, which was kept by a certain person very eminent for his successful method of education. This advice she the more readily embraced, because at that time she found herself pretty far gone with another child, that she hoped would console her for the disappointment she had met with in the unpromising talents of Perry, or, at any rate, divide her concern, so as to enable her to endure the absence of either. 04 THE ADVENTURES O? CHAPTER XII. Peregrine is sent to a boarding-school—becomes remarkable for his genius arid ambition . The commodore understanding her determination, to which her husband did not venture to make the least objection, in¬ terested himself so much in behalf of his favourite, as to fit him out at his own charge, and accompany him in person to the place of his destination, where he defrayed the expense of his entrance, and left him to the particular care and in¬ spection of the usher, who having been recommended to him as a person of parts and integrity, received per advance a handsome consideration for the task he undertook. Nothing could be better judged than this piece of libe, rality ; the assistant was actually a man of learning, probity, and good sense; and, though obliged by the scandalous ad¬ ministration of fortune to act in the character of an inferior teacher, had, by his sole capacity and application, brought the school to that degree of reputation, which it never could have obtained from the talents of his superior. He had established an economy, which, though regular, was not at all se\ ere, by enacting a body of laws suited to the age and compiehension of every individual; and each transgressor was fairly tried by his peers, and punished according to the verdict of the jury. No boy was scourged for want of ap¬ prehension, but a spirit of emulation was raised by well-timed praise and aittul comparison, and maintained by a distri* button of small prizes, which were adjudged to those who signalized themselves either by their industry, sobriety, or genius, i his tutor, whose name w r as Jennings, began with 1 eriy, accoiding to his constant maxim, by examining the soil; that is, studying his temper, in order to consult the bias ox his disposition, which was strangely perverted by the absurd discipline he had undergone. ; He found him in a state of sullen insensibility, which the child had gradually contiacted in a long course of stupifying correction ; and at first he was not in the least actuated by that commends- PEREGRINE PICKLE. f>5 tion which animated the rest of his school-fellows ; nor was it in the power of reproach to excite his ambition, which had been buried, as it were, in the grave of disgrace : the usher, therefore, had recourse to contemptuous neglect, with which lie affected to treat this stubborn spirit; foreseeing, that, if he retained any seeds of sentiment, this weather would infallibly raise them into vegetation. His judgment was justified by the event; the boy in a little time began to make observations; he perceived the marks of distinction with which virtue was rewarded, grew ashamed of the des¬ picable figure he himself made among his companions, who, far from courting, rather shunned his conversation, and actually pined at his own want of importance. Mr Jennings saw and rejoiced at his mortification, which he suffered to proceed as far as possible, without endanger¬ ing his health. The child lost all relish for diversion, loathed his food, grew pensive, solitary, and was frequently found weeping by himself. These symptoms plainly evinced the recovery of his feelings, to which his governor thought it now high time to make application ; and therefore, by little and little, altered his behaviour from the indifference he had put on, to the appearance of more regard and attention. This produced a favourable change in the boy, whose eyes sparkled with satisfaction one day, when his master expressed him¬ self with a show of surprise in these words : ‘ So, Perry ! I find you don’t want genius, when you think proper to use it.’ Such encomiums kindled a spirit of emulation in his little breast; he exerted himself with surprising alacrity, by which he soon acquitted himself of the imputation of dulness, and obtained sundry honorary silver pennies, as acknowledgments of his application : his school-fellows now solicited his friend¬ ship as eagerly as they had avoided it before; and, in less than a twelvemonth after his arrival, this supposed dunce was remarkable for the brightness of his parts ; having in that short period learnt to read English perfectly well, made great progress in writing, enabled himself to speak the French language without hesitation, and acquired some knowledge in the rudiments of the Latin tongue. The usher did not Vol. //. E 66 THE ADVENTURES OP fail to transmit an account of his proficiency to the commo¬ dore, who received it with transport, and forthwith commu¬ nicated the happy tidings to the parents. Mr Gamaliel Pickle, who was never subject to violent emotions, heard them with a sort of phlegmatic satisfaction, that scarce manifested itself either in his countenance or ex¬ pressions ; nor did the child’s mother break forth into that rapture and admiration which might have been expected, when she understood how much the talents of her first-born had exceeded the hope of her warmest imagination. Not but that she professed herself well pleased with Perry’s re¬ putation, though she observed that, in these commendations, the truth was always exaggerated by schoolmasters, for their own interest; and pretended to wonder that the usher had not mingled more probability with his praise. Trunnion was offended at her indifference and want of faith ; and be¬ lieving that she refined too much in her discernment, swore that Jennings had declared the truth, and nothing hut the truth ; for he himself had prophesied from the beginning that the boy would turn out a credit to his family. But by this time Mrs Pickle was blessed with a daughter, whom she had brought into the world about six months before the intelli¬ gence arrived ; so that her care and affection being otherwise engrossed, the praise of Perry was the less greedily devoured. The abatement of her fondness was an advantage to his edu¬ cation, which would have been retarded, and perhaps ruined, by pernicious indulgence and preposterous interposition, had her love considered him as an only child; whereas, her concern being now diverted to another object, that shared, at least, one half of her affection, he was left to the manage¬ ment of his preceptor, who tutored him according to his own plan, without any let or interruption. Indeed, all his sagacity and circumspection were hut barely sufficient to keep the young gentleman in order ; for now that he had won the palm of victory from his rivals in point of scholarship, his ambition dilated, and lie was seized with the desire of sub¬ jecting the whole school by the valour of his arm. Before he could bring his project to bear, innumerable battles were PEREGRINE PICKLE. 67 fought, with various success; every day a’^ bloody nose and complaint were presented against him, and his own visage commonly bore some livid marks of obstinate contention. At length, however, he accomplished his aim : his adver¬ saries were subdued, his prowess acknowledged, and he ob¬ tained the laurel in war as well as in wit. Thus triumph¬ ant, he was intoxicated with success. His pride rose in pro¬ portion to his power, and, in spite of all the endeavours of Jennings, who practised every method he could invent for curbing his licentious conduct, without depressing his spirit, he contracted a large proportion of insolence, which a series of misfortunes that happened to him in the sequel could scarce effectually tame. Nevertheless there was a fund of good nature and generosity in his composition, and though he established a tyranny among his comrades, the tranquil¬ lity of his reign w T as maintained by the love rather than by the fear of his subjects. In the midst of all his enjoyment of empire, he never once violated that respectful awe with which the usher had found means to inspire him ; but he by no means preserved the same regard for the principal master,an old illiterate German quack, who had formerly practised corn-cutting among the quality, and sold cosmetic washes to the ladies, together with teeth-powders, hair-dyeing liquors, prolific elixirs, and tinc¬ tures to sweeten the breath. These nostrums, recommended by the art of cringing, in which he was consummate, ingra¬ tiated him so much with people of fashion, that he was en¬ abled to set up school with five-and-twenty boys of the best families, whom he boarded on his own terms, and undertook to instruct in the French and Latin languages, so as to qua¬ lify them for the colleges of Westminster and Eton. While this plan was in its infancy, he was so fortunate as to meet with Jennings, who, for the paltry consideration of thirty pounds a-year, which his necessities compelled him to accept, took the whole trouble of educating the children upon him¬ self, contrived an execellent system for that purpose, and by his assiduity and knowledge, executed all the particulars to the entire satisfaction of those concerned, who, by the by, 68 THE ADVENTURES OP never inquired into bis qualifications, but suffered the other to enjoy the fruits of his labour and ingenuity. Over and above a large stock of avarice, ignorance, and vanity, this superior had certain ridiculous peculiarities in his person, such us a hunch upon his back, and distorted limbs, that seemed to attract the satirical notice of Pere¬ grine, who, young as he was, took offence at his want of reverence for his usher, over whom he sometimes chose op¬ portunities of displaying his authority, that the boys might not displace their veneration. Mr Keypstick, therefore, such as I have described him, incurred the contempt and displeasure of this enterprising pupil, who now, being in the tenth year of his age, had capacity enough to give him abundance of vexation. He underwent many mortifying jokes from the invention of Pickle and his confederates ; so that he began to entertain suspicion of Mr Jennings, who, he could not help thinking, had been at the bottom of them all, and spirited up principles of rebellion in the school, with a view of making himself independent. Possessed with this chimera, which was void of ail foundation, the Ger¬ man descended so low as to tamper in private with the boys, from whom he hoped to draw some very important discovery ; but he was disapoointed in his expectation ; and this mean practice reaching the ears of his usher, he volun¬ tarily resigned his employment. Finding interest to obtain holy orders in a little time after, he left the kingdom, hoping to find a settlement in some of our American plantations. The departure of Mr Jennings produced a great revolu¬ tion in the affairs of Keypstick, which declined from that moment, because he had neither authority to enforce obe¬ dience, nor prudence to maintain order among his scholars ; so that the school degenerated into anarchy and confusion, and he himself dwindled in the opinion of his emplovers, who looked upon him as superannuated, and withdrew their children from his tuition. Peregrine, seeing this dissolution of their society, and find¬ ing himself every day deprived of some companion, began to repine at his situation^ and resolved, if possible, to pro- PEREGRINE PICKLE. 69 cure his release from the jurisdiction of the person whom he both detested and despised. With this view he went to work, and composed the following billet, addressed to the commodore, which was the first specimen of his composition in the epistolary way.— * Honoured and loving Uncle, c Hoping you are in good health, this serves to inform you, that Mr Jennings is gone, and that Mr Keypstick will never meet with his fellow. The school is already almost broke up, and the rest daily going away; and I beg of you of all love to have me fetched away also, for I cannot bear to be any longer under one who is a perfect ignoramus, who scarce knows the declination of musa, and is more fit to be a scarecrow than a schoolmaster; hoping you will send for me soon, with my love to my aunt, and my duty to my honoured parents, craving their blessing and yours. And this is all at present from, honoured uncle, your well beloved and dutiful nephew and godson, and humble servant to command till death, ( Peregrine Pickle.' Trunnion was overjoyed at the receipt of this letter, which he looked upon as one of the greatest efforts of human ge¬ nius, and as such communicated the contents to his lady, whom he had disturbed for the purpose in the middle of her devotion, by sending a message to her closet, whither it was her custom very frequently to retire. She was out of hu¬ mour at being interrupted, and therefore did not peruse this specimen of her nephew's understanding with all the relish that the commodore himself had enjoyed ; on the contrary, after sundry paralytical endeavours to speak (for her tongue sometimes refused its office), she observed that the boy was a pert jackanapes, and deserved to he severely chastised for treating his betters with such disrespect. Her husband un¬ dertook his godson’s defence, representing, with great warmth, that he knew Keypstick to be a good-for-nothing pimping old rascal, and that Terry showed a great deal of spirit and good sense in desiring to he taken from under his command ; he therefore declared, that the hoy should not live a week longer with such a shambling son of a b—, and sanctioned his declaration with abundance of oaths. 70 THE ADVENTURES OF Mrs Trunnion composing her countenance into a look of religious demureness, rebuked him for his profane way oi talking; and asked, in a magisterial tone, if he intended never to lay aside that brutal behaviour ? Irritated at this reproach, he answered, in terms of indignation, that he knew how to behave himself as well as e’er a woman that wore a head, bade her mind her own affairs, and, with an¬ other repetition of oaths, gave her to understand that he would be master in his own house. This insinuation operated upon her spirits like friction upon a glass globe ; her face gleamed with resentment, and every pore seemed to emit particles of flame. She replied with incredible fluency of the bitterest expressions. He re¬ torted, with equal rage, in broken hints and incoherent im¬ precations. She rejoined with redoubled fury; and in con¬ clusion he was fain to betake himself to flight, ejaculating curses against her, and muttering something concerning the brandy bottle, which, however, he took care should never reach her ears. From his own house he went directly to visit Mrs Pickle, to whom he imparted Peregrine’s epistle, with many enco¬ miums upon the boy’s promising parts ; and finding his com¬ mendations but coldly received, desired she would permit him to take his godson under his own care. This lady, whose family was now encreased by another son, who seemed to engross her care for the present, had not seen Perry during a course of four years, and, with regard to him, was perfectly weaned of that infirmity known by the name of maternal fondness ; she therefore consented to the commodore’s request with great condescension, and a polite compliment to him on the concern he had all alone- manifested for the welfare of the child. PEREGRINE PICKLE. 71 % ! t CHAPTER XIII. The commodore takes Peregrine under his own care—the hoy ar¬ rives at the garrison—is strangely received by his own mother •—enters into a confederacy with Hatchway and Pipes , and executes a couple of waggish enterprises upon his aunt. Trunnion having obtained this permission, that very after¬ noon dispatched the lieutenant in a post-chaise to Keyp- stick’s house, from whence, in two days, he returned with our young hero ; who, being now in the eleventh year of his age, had outgrown the expectation of all his family, and was remarkable for the beauty and elegance of his person. His gcdfather was transported at his arrival, as if he had been actually the issue of his own loins. He shook him heartily by the hand, turned him round and round, surveyed him from top to bottom, bade Hatchway take notice how hand¬ somely he was built; squeezed his hand again, saying,— 6 Damn ye, you dog, I suppose you don’t value such an old crazy son of a b— as me a rope’s end. You have forgot how I wont to dandle you on my knee, when you was a little urchin no bigger than the davit, and played a thousand tricks upon me, burning my bacco-pouches, and poisoning my rumbo : O damn ye, you can grin fast enough, I see, I warrant you have learnt more things than writing and the Latin lingo.’ Even Tom Pipes expressed uncommon satis¬ faction on this joyful occasion ; and coming up to Perry, thrust forth his fore paw, and accosted him with the saluta¬ tion of, 6 What cheer, my good master? I am glad to see thee with all my heart.’ Those compliments being passed, his uncle halted to the door of his wife’s chamber, at w hich he stood hallooing, 4 Here’s your kinsman Perry, belike you won’t come and bid him welcome.’— 4 Lord ! Mr Trun¬ nion,’ said she, 4 why will you continually harass me in this manner, with your impertinent intrusion ?’ 4 I harrow you !’ replied the commodore ; 4 ’sblood, 1 believe vour upper works are damaged ; I only came to inform you that h re was your cousin, whom you have not seen these four long years ; and 72 THE ADVENTURES OP 111 be damn’d if there is such another of his age within the king’s dominions, d’ye see, either for make or mettle ; he’s a credit to the name, d’ye see ; but, damn my eyes, I’ll say no more of the matter; if you come, you may ; if you won’t, you may let it alone.’ 4 Well, I won’t come then,’ answered his yoke-fellow, 4 for I am at present more agreeably employ¬ ed.’ 4 Oho : you are P I believe so too;’ cried the commodore, making wry faces, and mimicking the action of dram-drink-* ing. Then addressing himself to Hatchway,—‘Prithee Jack,’ said he, 4 go and try thy skill on that stubborn hulk ; if any body can bring her about, I know you wool.’ The lieutenant accordingly taking his station at the door, conveyed his per¬ suasion in these words: 4 What, won’t you turn out and hail little Perry ? it will do your heart good to see such a hand¬ some young dog; I’m sure he is the very moral of you, and as like as if he had been spit out of your own mouth, as the saying is; do show a little respect for your kinsman, can’t you ?’ To this remonstrance she replied, in a mild tone of voice,— 4 Dear Mr Hatchway, you are always teasing one in such a manner ; sure I am, nobody can tax me with un¬ kindness, or want of natural affection.’ So saying, she open¬ ed the door, and advancing to the hall, where her nephew stood, received him very graciously, and observed that he was the very image of her papa. In the afternoon he was conducted by the commodore to the house of his parents ; and, strange to tell, no sooner was he presented to his mother, than her countenance changed ; she eyed him with tokens of affliction and surprise, and burst¬ ing into tears, exclaimed her child was dead, and this was no other than an impostor whom they had brought to defraud her sorrow. Trunnion was confounded at this unaccount¬ able passion, which had no other foundation than caprice and whim ; and Gamaliel himself was so disconcerted and unsettled in his own belief, which began to waver, that he knew not how to behave towards the boy,whom his godfather immediately carried back to the garrison,swearing all the way that Perry should never cross their thresnold again with his goodwill. Nay, so much was he incensed at this unnatural PEREGRINE PICKLE. 73 and absurd renunciation, that he refused to carry on any farther correspondence with Pickle, until he was appeased by his solicitations and submission, and Peregrine owned as his son and heir. But this acknowledgment was made without the privity of his wife, whose vitious aversion he was obliged, in appearance, to adopt. Thus exiled from his fathers house, the young gentleman was left entirely to the disposal of the commodore, whose affection for him daily- increased, insomuch that he could scarce prevail upon him¬ self to part with him, when his education absolutely requi¬ red that he should be otherwise disposed of. In all probability, this extraordinary attachment was, if not produced, at least rivetted, by that peculiar turn in Peregrine's imagination which we have already observed; and which, during his residence in the castle, appeared in sundry stratagems he practised upon his uncle and aunt, un¬ der the auspices of Mr Hatchway, who assisted him in the contrivance and execution of all his schemes. Nor was Pipes exempted from a share in their undertakings : for, being a trusty fellow, not without dexterity in some cases, and alto¬ gether resigned to their will, they found him a serviceable instrument for their purpose, and used him accordingly. The first sample of their art was exhibited upon Mrs Trunnion. They terrified that good lady with strange noises when she retired to her devotion. Pipes was a natural genius in the composition of discords; he could imitate the sound produced by the winding of a jack, the filing of a saw, and the swinging of a malefactor hanging in chains ; he could counterfeit the braying of an ass, the screeching of anight owl, the caterwauling of cats, the howling of a dog, the squeaking of a pig, the crowing of a cock ; and he had learnt the war-hoop uttered by the Indians in North America. These talents were exerted successively at different times and places, to the terror of Mrs Trunnion, the discomposure of the commodore himself, and the consternation of all the ser¬ vants in the castle. Peregrine, with a sheet over his clothes, sometimes tumbled before his aunt in the twilight, when her organs of vision were a little impaired by the cordial she 74 THE ADVENTURES OF bad swallowed ; and the boatswain’s mate taught him to shoe cats with walnut-shells, so that they made a most dreadful clattering in their nocturnal excursions. The mind of Mrs Trunnion was not a little disturbed by these alarms,which, in her opinion, portended the death of some principal person in the family : she redoubled her religious exercises, and forth fled her spirits with fresh potations ; nay, she began to take notice that Mr Trunnion’s constitution was very much broke, and seemed dissatisfied when people observed that they never saw him look better. Her frequent visits to the closet, where all her consolation w T as deposited, inspired the confederates with a device which had like to have been attended with tra¬ gical consequences. They found an opportunity to infuse jalap in one of her case-bottles, and she took so largely of this medicine that her constitution had well nigh sunk under the violence of its effects. She suffered a succession of fainting¬ fits that reduced her to the brink of the grave, in spite of all the remedies that were administered by a physician, who was called in the beginning of her disorder. After having exa¬ mined the symptoms, he declared that the patient had been poisoned with arsenic, and prescribed oily draughts and lu¬ bricating injections, to defend the coats of the stomach and intestines from the vellicating particles of that pernicious mi¬ neral ; at the same time hinting, with a look of infinite saga¬ city, that it was not difficult to divine the whole mystery. He affected to deplore the poor lady, as if she was exposed to more attempts of the same nature ; thereby glancing ob¬ liquely at the innocent commodore, whom the officious son of JSsculapius suspected as the author of this expedient, to rid his hands of a yoke-fellow for whom he was well known to have no great devotion. This impertinent and malicious insinuation made some impression upon the bystanders, and furnished ample field for slander to asperse the morals of Trunnion, who was represented through the whole district as a monster of barbarity. Nay, the sufferer herself, though she behaved with great decency and prudence, could not help entertaining some small diffidence of her husband ; not that she imagined he had any design upon her life, but that PEREGRINE PICKLE. 75 lie had been at pains to adulterate the brandy, with a view of detaching her from that favourite liquor. On this supposition she resolved to act with more caution for the future, without setting on foot any inquiry about the affair : while the commodore, imputing her indisposition to some natural cause, after the danger was past, never bestowed a thought upon the subject; so that the perpe¬ trators were quit of their fear, which, however, had pu¬ nished them so effectually, that they never would hazard any more jokes of the same nature. The shafts of their wit were now directed against the com¬ mander himself, whom they teased and terrified almost out of his senses. One day while he was at dinner, Pipes came and told him that there was a person below that wanted to speak with him immediately about an affair of the greatest importance, that would admit of no delay; upon which he ordered the stranger to be told that he was engaged, and that he must send up his name and business. To this de¬ mand he received for answer a message, importing that the person's name was unknown to him, and his business of such a nature, that it could not be disclosed to any one but the commodore himself, whom he earnestly desired to see without loss of time. Trunnion, surprised at this importunity, got up with great reluctance, in the middle of his meal, and descending to a parlour where the stranger was, asked him, in a surly tone ? what he wanted with him in such a damn'd hurry, that he could not wait till he had made an end of his mess. The other, not at all disconcerted at this rough address, advanced close up to him on his tiptoes, and, with a look of confidence and conceit, laying his mouth to one side of the commodore’s head, whispered softly in his ear,— c Sir, I am the attorney whom you wanted to converse with in private.’ c The attor¬ ney V cried Trunnion, staring and half choked with choler. 6 Yes, sir, at your service,’ replied this retainer to the law, c and,, if you please, the sooner we dispatch the affair the better, for it is an old observation that delay breeds danger.’ * Truly, brother,’ said the commodore, who could no longer 76 the adventures op contain himself, ( I do confess that I am very much of your way of thinking, d'ye see; and therefore you shall be dis¬ patched in a trice :' so saying, he lifted up his walking staff, which was something between a crutch and a cudgel, and discharged it with such energy on the seat of the attorney's understanding, that, if there had been any thing but solid bone, the contents of his skull must have been evacuated. Fortified as he was by nature against all such assaults, lie could not withstand the momentum of the blow, which in an instant laid him flat on the floor, deprived of all sense and motion ; and Trunnion hopped up stairs to dinner, ap¬ plauding himself in ejaculations all the way for the venge¬ ance he had taken on such an impudent pettifogging mis¬ creant. The attorney no sooner awaked from his trance, in which he had been so unexpectedly lulled, than he cast his eyes around in quest of evidence, by which he might be enabled the more easily to prove the injury he had sustained ; but not a soul appearing, he made shift to get upon his legs again, and, with the blood trickling over his nose, followed one of the servants into the dining room, resolved to come to an explanation with the assailant, and either extort money from him byway of satisfaction, or provoke him to a second ap¬ plication before witnesses. With this view he entered the room in a peal of clamour, to the amazement of all present, and the terror of Mrs Trunnion, who shrieked at the ap¬ pearance of such a spectacle; and addressing himself to the commodore, ‘ I'll tell you what, Sir,' said he, 6 if there be law in England, I’ll make you smart for this here assault; you think you have screened yourself from a prosecution, by sending all your servants out of the way, but that circum¬ stance will appear upon trial to be a plain proof of the ma¬ lice prepense with which the fact was committed, especially when corroborated by the evidence of this here letter, under your own hand, whereby I am desired to come to your own house to transact an affair of consequence.' So saying, he produced the writing, and read the contents in these words:—• PEREGRINE PICKLE. 77 * Mr Roger Ravine. ‘ Sir,*— Being in a manner prisoner in my own house, I desire you will give me a call precisely at three o’clock in the afternoon, and insist upon seeing me myself, as I have an affair of great consequence, in which your particular advice is wanted, by your humble servant, * Hawser Trunnion.’ The one-eyed commander, who had been satisfied with the chastisement he had already bestowed upon the plaintiff, hearing him read this audacious piece of* forgery, which he considered as the effect of his own villany, started up from table, and seizing a huge turkey that lay in a dish before him, would have applied it, sauce and all, by way of poul¬ tice to his wound, had he not been restrained by Hatchway, who laid fast hold on both his arms, and fixed him to his chair again, advising the attorney to sheer off’ with what he had got. Far from following this salutary counsel, he re¬ doubled his threats, and set Trunnion at defiance, telling him he was not a man of true courage, although he had com¬ manded a ship of war, or-else he would not have attacked any person in such a cowardly and clandestine manner. This provocation would have answered his purpose effectually, had not his adversary’s indignation been repressed by the suggestions of the lieutenant, who desired his friend, in a whisper, to be easy, for he would take care to have the at¬ torney tossed in a blanket for his presumption. This pro¬ posal, which he received with great approbation, pacified him in a moment: he wiped the sweat from his forehead, and his features relaxed into a grim smile. Hatchway disappeared, and Ravine proceeded with great fluency of abuse, until he was interrupted by the arrival of Pipes, who, without any expostulation, led him out by the hand, and conducted him to the yard, where he was put into a carpet, and in a twinkling sent into the air by the strength and dexterity of five stout operators, whom the lieutenant had selected from the number of domestics for that singular spell of duty. In vain did the astonished vaulter beg for the love of God and passion of Christ, that they would take pity upon him. 78 THE ADVENTURES OF and put an end to his involuntary gambols; they were deaf to his prayers and protestations, even when he swore, in the most solemn manner, that, if they would cease tormenting him, he would forget and forgive what was past, and de¬ part in peace to his own habitation ; and continued the game till they were fatigued with the exercise. Ravine being dismissed in a most melancholy plight, brought an action of assault and battery against the com¬ modore, and subpoenaed all the servants as evidences in the cause; but as none of them had seen what happened, he did not find his account in the prosecution, though lie himself examined all the witnesses, and, among other questions, asked, whether they had not seen him come in like another man ? and whether they had ever seen any other man in such a condition as that in which he had crawled off' ? but this last interrogation they were not obliged to answer, be¬ cause it had a reference to the second discipline he had un¬ dergone, in which they, and they only, were concerned ; and no person is bound to give testimony against himself. In short, the attorney was nonsuited, to the satisfaction of all who knew him, and found himself under the necessity of proving that he had received, in course of post, the letter, which was declared in court a scandalous forgery, in order to prevent an indictment with which he was threatened by the commodore, who little dreamed that the whole affair had been planned and executed by Peregrine and his associates. The next enterprise in which this triumvirate engaged, was a scheme to frighten Trunnion with an apparition, which they prepared and executed in this manner :—To the hide of a large ox, Pipes fitted a leathern vizor, of a most terrible appearance, stretched on the jaws of a shark, which he had brought from sea, and accommodated with a couple of broad glasses, instead of eyes. On the inside of these ' lie placed two rush-lights, and with a composition of sulphur and saltpetre, made a pretty large fuse, which he fixed be¬ tween two rows of the teeth. This equipage being finished, he, one dark night chosen for the purpose, put it on, and following the commodore into a long passage, in which he PEREGRINE PICKLE. 79 was preceded by Perry with a light in his hand, kindled his fire-work with a match, and began to bellcw like a bull.— The boy, as it was concerted, looking behind him, screamed aloud, and dropped the light, which was extinguished in the fall: when Trunnion, alarmed at his nephew's conster¬ nation, exclamed,—‘Zounds! what’s the matter?’ And turning about to see the cause of his dismay, beheld a hide¬ ous phantom vomiting blue flame, which aggravated the hor¬ rors of its aspect, He was instantly seized with an agony of fear, which divested him of his reason ; nevertheless, he, as it were mechanically, raised his trusty supporter in his own defence, and the apparition advancing towards him, aimed it at this dreadful annoyance with such a convulsive exertion of strength, that, had nor the blow chanced to light upon one of the horns, Mr Pipes would have had no cause to value himself upon his invention. Misapplied as it was, he did not fail to stagger at the shock, and, dreading an¬ other such salutation, closed with the commodore, and hav¬ ing tripped up his heels, retreated with great expedition. It was then that Peregrine, pretending to recollect himself a little, ran with all the marks of disturbance and affright, and called up the servants to the assistance of their master, whom they found in a cold sweat upon the floor, his features betokening horror and confusion. Hatchway raised him up, and, having comforted him with a cup of Nantz, began to inquire into the cause of his disorder ; but he could not ex¬ tract one word of answer from his friend, who, after a con¬ siderable pause, during which he seemed to be wrapt up in profound contemplation, pronounced aloud,—‘ By the Lord ! Jack, you may say what you wool ; but Pii be damn’d if it was not Davy Jones himself I know him by his saucer-eyes, his three rows of teeth, his horns and tail, and the blue smoke that came out of his nostrils. What does the blackguard hell’s baby want with me ? I am sure I ne. ver committed murder, except in the way of my profession, nor wronged any man whatsomever since I first went to sea.’ This same Davy Jones, according to the mythology of sailors, is the fiend that presides over all the evil spirits of so THE ADVENTURES OF the deep, and is often seen in various shapes, perching among the rigging ou the eve of hurricanes, shipwrecks, and other disasters, to which a seafaring life is exposed; warn¬ ing the devoted wretch of death and woe. No wonder, then, that Trunnion was disturbed by a supposed visit of this de¬ mon,which, in his opinion, foreboded some dreadful calamity. CHAPTER X. He is also , by their advice , engaged in an adventure with the ex¬ ciseman, who does not find his account in his own drollery . * Howsoever preposterous and unaccountable that passion may be, which prompts persons, otherwise generous and sympathising, to afflict and perplex their fellow-creatures, certain it is, our confederates entertained such a large pro¬ portion of it, that, not satisfied with the pranks they had already played, they still persecuted the commodore without ceasing. In the course of his own history, the particulars of which he delighted to recount, he had often rehearsed an adventure of deer-stealing, in which (during the unthinking impetuosity of his youth) he had been unfortunately concern¬ ed. Far from succeeding in that achievement, he and his as¬ sociates had (it seems) been made prisoners, after an obsti¬ nate engagement with the keepers, and carried before a neigh¬ bouring justice of the peace, who used Trunnion with great indignity, and with his companions committed him to jail. His own relations, and in particular an uncle, on whom he chiefly depended, treated him during his confinement with great rigour and inhumanity, and absolutely refused to inter¬ pose their influence in his behalf, unless he would sign a writing, obliging himself to goto sea within thirty days after his release, under the penalty of being proceeded against as a felon. The alternative was, either to undergo this volun¬ tary exile, or remain in prison, disowned and deserted by every body, and, after all, suffer an ignominious trial, that might end in a sentence of transportation for life. He there¬ fore, without much hesitation, embraced the proposal of his PEREGRINE PICKLE. 8L kinsman, and (as be observed) was, in less than a month after bis discharge, turned adrift to the mercy of the wind and waves. Since that period he had never maintained any correspon¬ dence with his relations, all of whom had concurred in send¬ ing him off: nor would he ever pay the least regard to the humiliations and supplications of some among them, who had prostrated themselves before him, on the advancement of his fortune ; but he retained a most inveterate resentment against his uncle, who was still in being, though extremely old and infirm, and frequently mentioned his name with all the bitterness of revenge. Perry being perfectly well acquainted with the particulars of this story, which he had heard so often repeated, propos¬ ed to Hatchway, that a person should be hired to introduce himself to the commodore, with a supposititous letter of re¬ commendation from this detested kinsman; an imposition that, in all likelihood, would afford abundance of diversion. The lieutenant relished the scheme, and young Pickle having composed an epistle for the occasion, the exciseman of the parish, a fellow of great impudence and some humour, in whom Hatchway could confide, undertook to transcribe and deliver itgwith his own hand, and also personate the man in whose favour it was feigned to be writ. He accordingly one morning arrived on horsebankat the garrison, two hours at least before Trunnion used to get up, and gave Pipes, who admitted him, to understand, that he had a letter for his master, which he was ordered to deliver to none but the commodore himself. This message was no sooner com- municated, than the indignant chief (who had been waked for the purpose) began to curse the messenger for breaking his rest, and swore he would not budge till his usual time of turning out. This resolution being conveyed to the stran¬ ger, he desired the carrier to go back and tell him, he had such joyful tidings to impart that he was sure the commo¬ dore would think himself amply rewarded for his trouble, even if he had been raised from the grave to receive them. Tiffs assurance, flattering as it was, would not have been VoL II. f 82 the adventures of powerful enough to persuade him, had it not been assisted with the exhortations of his spouse, which never failed to influence his conduct. He therefore crept out of bed, though not without great repugnance, and, wrapping himself in his morning gown, was supported down stairs, rubbing his eye, yawning fearfully, and grumbling all the way. As soon as he popped his head into the parlour, the supposed stranger made divers awkward bows, and with a grinning aspect ac¬ costed him in these words: 4 Your most humble servant, most noble commodore ! I hope you are in good health ; you look pure and hearty ; and, if it was not for that mis¬ fortune of your eye, one would not desire to see a more plea¬ sant countenance in a summer's day. Sure as I am a living soul, one would take you to be on this side of threescore. Laud help us ! I should have known you to be a Trunnion, if I had met with you in the midst of Salisbury plain, as the saying is. 1 The commodore, who was not at all in the hu¬ mour of relishing such an impertinent preamble, interrupted him in this place, saying, with a peevish accent, 4 Pshaw ! pshaw! brother, there’s no occasion to bowss out so much unnecessary gum P if you can’t .bring your discourse to bear on the right subject, you had much better clap a stopper on your tongue, and bring yourself up, d’ye see: I was told you had something to deliver.’ 4 Deliver !’ cried the waggish imposter, 4 odds heart! I have got something for you that will make your very entrails rejoice within your body. Here’s a letter from a dear and worthy friend of yours. Take, read it, and be happy. Blessings on his old heart! one would think be had renewed his age, like the eagles.’ Trun¬ nion’s expectation being thus raised, he called for his spec¬ tacles, adjusted them to his eye, took the letter, and, being curious to know the subscription, no sooner perceived his uncle’s name, than he started back, his lip quivered, and he began to shake in every limb with resentment and surprise; nevertheless, eager to know the subject.of an epistle from a person who had never before troubled him with any sort of address, lie endeavoured to recollect himself, and perused the contents, which were these.— PEREGRINE PICKLE. 83 * Loving Nephew, ' I doubt not but you will be rejoiced to hear of my welfare; and well you may, considering what a kind uncle I have been to you in the days of your youth, and how little you deserved any such thing ; for you was always a graceless young man, given to wicked courses and bad company, whereby you would have come to a shameful end, had it not been for my care in sending you out of mischief’s way. But this is not the cause of my present writing. The bearer, Mr Timothy Trickle, is a distant relation of yours, being the son of the cousin of your aunt Margery, and is not over and above well as to worldly matters. He thinks of going to London, to see for some post in the excise or customs, if so be that you will recommend him to some great man of your acquaintance, and give him a small matter to keep him till he is provided. I doubt not, nephew, but you will be glad to serve him, if it was no more but for the respect you bear to me, who am, loving nephew, your affectionate uncle, and servant to command, f Tobiah Tbunnion. It would be a difficult task for the inimitable Hogarth himself to exhibit the ludicrous expression of the commo¬ dore’s countenance, while he read this letter. It was not a stare of astonishment, a convulsion of rage, or a ghastly grin of revenge, but an association of all three, that took possession of his features. At length he hawked up, with incredible straining, the interjection ah ! that seemed to have stuck some time in his windpipe, and thus gave vent to his indignation: 6 Have I come alongside of you at last, you old stinking curmudgeon! You lie, you lousy hulk, you lie—you did all in your power to founder me when I was a stripling; and as for being graceless, and wicked, and keep¬ ing bad company, you tell a damned lie again, you thief; there was not a more peaceable lad in the county, and I kept no bad company but your own, dy’e see. Therefore, you Trickle, or what’s your name, tell the old rascal that sent you hither, that I spit in his face, and call him horse ; that I tear his letter into rags, so ; and that I trample upon it as I would upon his own villanous carcase, d’ye see. 1 So saying, ha danced in a sort of frenzy upon the fragments of the paper, which he had scattered about the room, to the inexpressible satisfaction of the triumvirate, who beheld the scene. 84 THE ADVENTURES OF The exciseman having got between him and the door, which was left open for his escape, in case of necessity, af¬ fected great confusion and surprise at his behaviour, saving, with an air of mortification ,— 4 Lord be merciful unto me ! is this the way you treat your own relations, and the recom¬ mendation of your best friend ? Surely all gratitude and vir¬ tue have left this sinful world! What will cousin Tim, and Dick, and Tom, and good mother Pipkin, and her daugh¬ ters. cousins Sue, and Prue, and Peg, with all the rest of our kinsfolk, sav, when they hear of this unconscionable recep¬ tion that I have met with ? Consider, Sir, that ingratitude is w orse than the sin of witchcraft, as the apostle wisely ob¬ serves ; and do not send me away with such unchristian usage, which will lay a heavy load of guilt upon your poor miserable soul."' 4 What, you are on a cruise for a post, brother Trickle, an’t ye ?’ (said Trunnion, interrupting him), * we shall find a post for you in a trice, my boy. Here, Pipes, take this saucy son of a bitch, belay him to the whipping¬ post in the yard. I'll teach you to rouse me in the morn¬ ing with such impertinent messages.’ Pipes, who wanted to carry the joke farther than the exciseman dreamed of, laid hold of him in a twinkling, and executed the orders of his commander, notwithstanding all his nods, winking, and significant gestures, which the boatswain’s mate w T ould by no means understand : so that he began to repent of the part he acted in this performance, which was like to end so tragically, and stood fastened to the stake, in a very dis¬ agreeable state of suspense, casting many a rueful look over his left shoulder (while Pipes was absent in quest of a cat- o’-nine tails), in expectation of being relieved by the in¬ terposition of the lieutenant, w ho did not, however, appear. Tom, returning with the instrument of correction, undressed the delinquent in a trice, and whispering in his ear, that he was very sorry for being employed in such an office, but durst not for his soul disobey the orders of his commander, flourished the scourge bout his head, and, with admirable dexterity, made such a smarting application to the offender’s back and shoulders, that the distracted gauger performed PEREGRINE PICKLE. 85 sundry new cuts with liis feet, and bellowed hideously with pain, to tlie infinite satisfaction of the spectators. At length, when he was almost tleakl from his rump to the nape of his neck, Hatchway, who had purposely absented himself hi¬ therto, appeared in the yard, and, interposing in his behalf, prevailed upon Trunnion to call off the executioner, and ordered the malefactor to be released. The exiseman, mad with the catastrophe he had under¬ gone, threatened to be revenged upon his employers, by mak¬ ing a candid confession of the whole plot; but the lieutenant giving him to understand, that, in so doing, he would bring upon himself a prosecution for fraud, forgery, and impos¬ ture, he was fain to put up with his loss, and sneaked out of the garrison, attended with a volley of curses discharged upon him by the commodore, who was exceedingly irritated by the disturbance and disappointment he had undergone. CHAPTER XV. The commodore detects the machinations of the conspirators , and hires atutor for Peregrine, whom he settles at Winchester school. This was not the least affliction he suffered from the un¬ wearied endeavours and unexhausted invention of his tor¬ mentors, who harassed him with such a variety of mischievous pranks, that he began to think all the devils in hell had con¬ spired against his peace; and accordingly became very serious and contemplative on the subject. In the course of his meditations, when he recollected and compared the circumstances of every mortification to which he had been lately exposed, he could not help suspecting that some of them must have been contrived to vex him ; and, as he was not ignorant of his lieutenant’s disposition, nor un¬ acquainted with the talents of Peregrine, he resolved to ob¬ serve them both for the future with the utmost care and cir¬ cumspection. This resolution, aided by the incautious con¬ duct of the conspirators, whom, by this time, success had rendered heedless and indiscreet, was attended with the de- 86 THE ADVENTURES OF sired effect. He in a little time detected Perry in a new plot, and, by dint of a little chastisement and a great many threats, extorted from him a confession of all the contrivances in which he had been concerned. The commodore was thunderstruck at the discovery, and so much incensed against Hatchway for the part he had acted in the whole, that he de¬ liberated with himself,whether he should demand satisfaction with sword and pistol, or dismiss him from the garrison, and renounce all friendship with him at once. But he had been so long accustomed to Jack’s company, that he could not live without him; and, upon more cool reflection, perceiv¬ ing that what he had done was rather the effect of wanton¬ ness than malice, which he himself would have laughed to see take place upon any other person, he determined to de¬ vour his chagrin, and extend his forgiveness even to Pipes, whom, in the first sally of his passion, he had looked upon in a more criminal light than that of a simple mutineer. This determination was seconded by another, which he thought absolutely necessary for his own repose, and in which his own interest and that of his nephew concurred. Peregrine, who was now turned of twelve, had made such advances under the instruction of Jennings, that he often dis¬ puted upon grammar, and was sometimes thought to have the better in his contests with the parish priest, who, not¬ withstanding this acknowledged superiority of his antagonist, did great justice to his genius, which he assured Mr Trun¬ nion would be lost for want of cultivation, if the boy was not immediately sent to prosecute his studies at some proper seminary of learning. This maxim had been more than once inculcated upon the commodore by Mrs Trunnion, who, over and above the de¬ ference she paid to the parson’s opinion, had a reason of her own for wishing to see the house clear of Peregrine, at whose prying disposition she began to be very uneasy. Induced by these motives, which were joined.by the solicitation of the youth himself, who ardently longed to see a little more of the world, his uncle determined to send him forthwith to Winchester, under the immediate care and inspection of a PEREGRINE PICKLE. 87 governor, to whom he allowed a very handsome appoint¬ ment for that purpose. This gentleman, whose name was Mr Jacob Jolter, had been school-fellow with the parson of the parish, who recommended him to Mrs Trunnion as a person of great wortli and learning, in every respect qualified for the office of a tutor. He likewise added, by way of eulo- gium, that he was a man of exemplary piety, and particu- larly zealous for the honour of the church, of which he was a member, having been many years in holy orders, though he did not then exercise any function of the priesthood. Indeed Mr Jolter’s zeal was so exceedingly fervent, as on some oc¬ casions to get the better of his discretion ; for, being an high churchman, and of consequence a malcontent, his resentment was habituated into an insurmountable prejudice against the present disposition of affairs, which, by confounding the na¬ tion with the ministry, sometimes led him into erroneous, not to say absurd, calculations ; otherwise a man of good morals, well versed in mathematics and school divinity, stu¬ dies which had not at all contributed to sweeten and unbend the natural sourness and severity of his complexion. This gentleman being destined to the charge of superin¬ tending Perry’s education, every thing was prepared for their departure; and Tom Pipes, in consequence of his own peti¬ tion, put into livery, and appointed footman to the young squire. But before thev set out, the commodore paid the compliment of communicating his design to Mr Pickle, who approved of the plan, though he durst not venture to see the boy ; so much was he intimidated by the remonstrances of his wife, whose aversion to her first-born became every day more inveterate and unaccountable. This unnatural caprice seemed to be supported by a consideration which (one would imagine) might have rather vanquished her dis¬ gust . Her second son Gam, who was now in the fourth year of his age, had been rickety from the cradle, and as remarkably unpromising in appearance as Perry was agree¬ able in his person. As the deformity increased, the mother’s fondness was augmented, and the virulence of her hateagainst the other son seemed to prevail in the same proportion. 88 THE ADVENTURES OP Far from allowing Perry to enjoy the common privileges of a child, she would not suffer him to approach his father’s house, expressed uneasiness whenever his name happened to he mentioned, sickened at his praise, and in all respects be¬ haved like a most rancorous stepmother. Though she no longer retained that ridiculous notion of his being an impos¬ tor, she still continued to abhor him, as if she really believed him to be such; and when any person desired to know the cause of her surprising dislike, she always lost her temper, and peevishly replied, that she had reasons of her own, which she was not obliged to declare; nay, so much was she affect¬ ed by this vitious partiality, that she broke off all commerce with her sister-in-law and the commodore, because they fa¬ voured the poor child with their countenance and protection. Her malice, however, was frustrated by the love and ge¬ nerosity of Trunnion, who, having adopted him as his own son, equipped him accordingly, and carried him and his go¬ vernor in his own coach to the place of destination, where they were settled on a very genteel footing, and every thing regulated according to their desires. Mrs Trunnion behaved with £reat decency at the de- parture of her nephew, to whom, with a great many pious advices and injunctions to behave with submission and re¬ verence towards his tutor, she presented a diamond ring of small value, and a gold medal, as tokens of her affection and esteem. As for the lieutenant, he accompanied them in the coach ; and such was the friendship he had contracted for Perry, that, when the commodore proposed to return, after having accomplished the intent of his journey, Jack abso¬ lutely refused to attend him, and signified his resolution to stay where he was. Trunnion was the more startled at this declaration, as Hatchway was become so necessary to him in almost all the purposes of his life, that he foresaw he should not be able to exist without his company. Not a little affected with this consideration, he turned his eye ruefully upon the lieu¬ tenant, saying, in a piteous tone ,— 4 What! leave me at last, Jack, after we have weathered so many hard gales together ? / PEREGRINE pickle. 89 Damn my limbs ! I thought you had been more of an honest heart: I looked upon you as my foremast, and Tom Pipes as my mizen ; now he is carried away; if so be as you go too, my standing rigging being decayed, d’ye see, the first squall will bring me by the board. Damn ye, if in case I have given offence, can’t you speak above board, and I shall make you amends.’ Jack being ashamed to own the true situation of his thoughts, after some hesitation, answered with perplexity and incoherence ,— 4 No, demme ! that an’t the case neither ; to be sure you always used me in an officer-like manner, that I must own, to give the devil his due, as the saying is ; but for all that, this here is the case, I have some thoughts of going to school myself to learn your Latin lingo ; for, as the saving is, better late mend than never; and I am informed as how one can get more for the money here than anywhere else . 1 In vain did Trunnion endeavour to convince him of the folly of going to school at his years, by representing that the boys would make game of him, and that he would become a laughing-stock to all the world; he persisted in his reso¬ lution to stay, and the commodore was fain to have recourse to the mediation of Pipes and Perry, who employed their influence with Jack, and at last prevailed upon him to re¬ turn to the garrison, after Trunnion had promised he should be at liberty to visit them once a-month. This stipulation beiftg settled, he and his friend took leave of the pupil, go¬ vernor, and attendant, and next morning set out for their habitation, which they reached in safety that same night. Such was Hatchway’s reluctance to leave Peregrine, that he is said, for the first time in his life, to have looked misty at parting ; certain I am, that on the road homewards, after a long pause of silence, which the commodore never dreamed of interrupting, he exclaimed all of a sudden, 4 I’ll be damn’d if the dog han’t given me some stuff* to make me love him.’ Indeed there was something congenial in the disposition of these two friends, which never failed to manifest itself in the sequel, howsoever different their edu¬ cation, circumstances, and connections happened to be. 90 THE ADVENTURES OF CHAPTER XVI. Peregrine distinguishes himself among his schoolfellows,exposes his tutor, and attracts the particular notice of the master. Thus left to the prosecution of his studies, Peregrine was in a little time a distinguished character, not only for his acuteness of apprehension, but also for that mischievous fertility of fancy, of which we have already given such pregnant examples. But, as there was a great of number of such luminaries in this new sphere to which he belonged, his talents were not so conspicuous, while they shone in his single capacity, as they afterwards appeared, when they con¬ centered and reflected the rays of the whole constellation. At first he confined himself to piddling game, exercising his genius upon his own tutor, who attracted his attention by endeavouring to season his mind with certain political maxims, the fallacy of which he had discernment enough to perceive. Scarce a day passed in which he did not find means to render Mr Joiter the object of ridicule ; his violent prejudices, ludicrous vanity, awkward solemnity, and igno¬ rance of mankind, afforded continual food for the raillery, petulence, and satire of his pupil, who never neglected an opportunity of laughing, and making others laugh, at his expense. Some times, in their parties, by mixing brandy in his wine, he decoyed this pedagogue into a debauch, during which his caution forsook him, and he exposed himself to the censure of the company. Some times, when the con¬ versation turned upon intricate subjects, he practised upon him the Socratic method of confutation, and, under pre-i tence of being informed, by an artful train of puzzling questions, insensibly betrayed him into self-contradiction. All the remains of authority which he had hitherto preser¬ ved over Peregrine soon vanished ; so that, for the future, no sort of ceremony subsisted betwixt them, and all Mr Jolter’s precepts were conveyed in hints of friendly advice, which the other might either follow or neglect at his own pleasure. No wonder then that Peregrine gave a loose to his inclina- PEREGRINE PICKLE. 91 lions, and by dint of genius, and an enterprising temper, made a figure among the younger class of heroes in the school. Before he had been a full year at Winchester, he had signalized himself in so many achievements in defiance to the laws and regulations of the place, that he was looked upon with admiration, and actually chosen dux , or leader, by a large body of his contemporaries. It was not long before his fame reached the ears of his master, who sent for Mr Joker, communicated to him the informations he had received, and desired him to check the vivacity of his charge, and redouble his vigilance in time to come, else he should be obliged to make a public example of his pupil for the bene¬ fit of the school. The governor, conscious of his own unimportance, was not a little disconcerted at this injunction, which it was not in his power to fulfil by any compulsive means. He there¬ fore went home in a very pensive mood, and, after mature deliberation, resolved to expostulate with Peregrine in the most familiar terms, and endeavour to dissuade him from practices which might affect his character as well as inte¬ rest. He accordingly frankly told him the subject of the master’s discourse, represented the disgrace he might incur by neglecting this warning, and, putting him in mind of his own situation, hinted the consequences of the commodore’s displeasure, in case he should be brought to disapprove of his conduct. These insinuations made the greater impres¬ sion, as they were delivered with many expressions of friend¬ ship and concern. The young gentleman was not so raw but that he could perceive the solidity of Mr Joker’s ad¬ vice, to which he promised to conform, because his pride was interested in the affair; and he considered his own re¬ formation as the only means of avoiding that infamy which (even in idea) he could not bear. His governor, finding him so reasonable, profited by these moments of reflection, and, in order to prevent a relapse, proposed that he should engage in some delightful study, that would agreeably amuse his imagination, and gradually 92 THE ADVENTURES OF detach him from those connections which had involved him in so many troublesome adventures. For this purpose, he, with many rapturous encomiums, recommended the mathe¬ matics, as yielding more rational and sensible pleasure to a youthful fancy than any other subject of contemplation, and actually began to read Euclid with him that same af, ternoon. Peregrine entered upon this branch of learning with all that warmth of application which boys commonly yield on the first change of study ; but he had scarce advanced be¬ yond the pons asinorum when his ardour abated; the test of truth by demonstration did not elevate him to those trans ports of joy with which his preceptor had regaled his ex¬ pectation ; and before he arrived at the fortieth-and-seventh proposition, he began to yawn drearily, make abundance of wry faces, and thought himself but indifferently paid for his attention, when he shared the vast discovery of Pytha¬ goras, and understood that the square of the hypothenuse was equal to the squares of the other two sides of a right- angled triangle. He was ashamed, however, to fail in his undertaking, and persevered with great industry, until he had finished the first four books, acquired plain trigonome¬ try, with the method of algebraical calculation, and made himself well acquainted with the principles of surveying. But no consideration could prevail upon him to extend his inquiries farther in this science, and he returned with double relish to his former avocations, like a stream, which, being dammed, accumulates more force, and, bursting over its mounds, rushes down with double impetuosity. Mr Jolter saw with astonishment and chagrin, but could not resist the torrent. Plis behaviour was now no other than a series of licence and effrontery ; prank succeeded prank,and outrage followed outrage, with surprising velocity. Complaints were every day preferre i against him ; in vain were admonitions bestowed by the governor in private, and menaces discharged by the masters in public; he disre¬ garded the first, despised the latter, divested himself of all manner of restraint, and proceeded in his career to such u PEREGRINE PICKLE. pitch of audacity, that a consultation was held upon the sub¬ ject, in which it was determined that this untoward spirit should be humbled by a severe and ignominious flogging for the very next offence he should commit. In the mean time, Mr Jolter was desired to write in the master’s name to the commodore, requesting him to remove Tom Pipes from the person of his nephew, the said Pipes being a principal actor and abettor in all his malversations ; and to put a stop to the monthly visitations of the mutilated lieutenant, who had never once failed to use his permission, but came punctual to a day, always fraught with some new invention. Indeed, by this time, Mr Hatchway was as well known, and much better beloved, by every boy in the school, than the master who instructed him, and always received by a number of scholars, who used to attend Peregrine when he went forth to meet his friend, and conduct him to his lodging with public testimonies of joy and applause. As for Tom Pipes, he was not so properly the attendant of Peregrine as master of the revels to the whole school. He mingled in all their parties, and superintended their di¬ versions, deciding between boy and boy, as if he acted by commission under the great seal. He regulated their motions by his whistle, instructed the young boys in the games of hustle-cap, leap-frog, and chuck-farthing; impart¬ ed to those of a more advanced age the sciences of cribbage and all-fours, together with the method of storming the castle, acting the comedy of Prince Arthur, and other pan¬ tomimes, as they are commonly exhibited at sea ; and in¬ structed the seniors, who were distinguished by the appel¬ lation of bloods, in cudgel-playing, dancing the St Giles’s hornpipe, drinking flip, and smoking tobacco. These qua¬ lifications had rendered him so necessary and acceptable to the scholars, that, exclusive of Perry's concern in the af¬ fair, his dismission, in all probability, would have produced some dangerous convulsion in the community. Jolter, therefore, knowing his importance, informed his pupil of the directions he had received, and very candidly asked how he should demean himself in the execution, for lie durst not Trunnion, and felt all the pangs of an ingenuous mind that labours under obligations to a person whom it contemns. Far from obeying her injunction, or humbling himself by a submissive answer to her reprehension, his resentment buoy¬ ed him up above every selfish consideration; he resolved to attach himself to Emilia, if possible, more than ever; and although he was tempted to punish the officiousness of Jolter, by recriminating upon his life and conversation, he gene¬ rously withstood the impulse of his passion, because he knew that his governor had no other dependence than the good opinion of the commodore. He could not, however, digest in silence the severe expostulations of his aunt, to which he replied by the following letter, addressed to her husband.— f Sir, —Though mv temper could never stoop to offer, nor, I be¬ lieve, your disposition deign to receive, that gross incense which the illiberal only expect, and none but .the base-minded condescend to pay, my sentiments have always done justice to your generosity, and my intention scrupulously adhered to the dictates of my duty. Conscious of this integrity of heart, I cannot but severely feel your lady’s unkind {I will not call it ungenerous) recapitulation of the favours I have re¬ ceived ; and, as I take it for granted that you knew and approved of her letter, I must beg leave to assure you, that, far from being sway¬ ed by menaces and reproach, I am determined to embrace the most abject extremity of fortune, rather then submit to such a dishonour¬ able compulsion. When I am treated in a more delicate and respect¬ able manner, I hope I shall behave as becomes, Sir, your obliged f P. Prcivi.E,* K 2 148 THE ADVENTURES OF The commodore, who did not understand those nice dis¬ tinctions of behaviour, and dreaded the consequence of Pe¬ regrine’s amour, against which he was strangely prepos¬ sessed, seemed exasperated at the insolence and obstinacy of his adopted son; to whose epistle he wrote the following answer, which was transmitted by the hands of Hatchway, who had orders to bring the delinquent along with him to the garrison.— O - * Hark ye, child, you need not bring your fine speeches to bear up¬ on me. You only expend your ammunition to no purpose. Your aunt told you nothing but truth ; for it is always fair and honest to be above board, d’ye see. I am informed as how you are in chase of a painted galley, which will decoy you upon the flats of destruction, unless you keep a better look-out and a surer reckoning than you have hitherto done; and I have sent Jack Hatchway to see how the land lies, and warn you of your danger: if so be as you will put about ship, and let him steer you into this harbour, you shall meet with a safe birth and friendly reception ; but if you refuse to alter your course, you cannot expect any further assistance from yours, as you behave, ‘ Hawser Trunnion.’ Peregrine was equally piqued and disconcerted at the re¬ ceipt of this letter, which was quite different from what he had expected, and declared in a resolute tone to the lieu¬ tenant, who brought it, that lie might return as soon as he pleased, for he was determined to consult his own inclination, and remain for some time longer where he was. Hatchway endeavoured to persuade him by all the argu¬ ments which his sagacity and friendship could supply, to show a little more deference for the old man, who was by this time rendered fretful and peevish by the gout, which now hindered him from enjoying himself as usual, and who might, in his passion, take some step very much to the de¬ triment of the young gentleman, whom he had hitherto con¬ sidered as his own son. Among other remonstrances, Jack observed, that mayhaps Peregrine had got under Emilia’s hatches, and did not chuse to set her adrift; and if that was the case, he himself would take charge of the vessel, and see her cargo safely delivered ; for he had a respect for the ■voung woman, and his needle pointed towards matrimony PEREGRINE PICKLE. 149 and as, in all probability, she could not be much the worse for the wear, be would make shift to scud through life with her under an easy sail. Our lover was deaf to all his admonitions, and, having thanked him for this last instance of his complaisance, re* peated his resolution of adhering to his first purpose. Hatch¬ way having profited so little by mild exhortations, assumed a more peremptory aspect, and plainly told him he neither could nor would go home without him ; so he had best make immediate preparation for the voyage. Peregrine made no other reply to this declaration than by a contemptuous smile, and rose from his seat in order to re¬ tire ; upon which the lieutenant started up, and posting him¬ self by the door, protested, with some menacing gestures, that he would not suffer him to run a-head neither. The other incensed at his presumption, in attempting to detain him by force, tripped up his wooden leg, and laid him on his back in a moment; then walked deliberately towards the park, in order to indulge his reflection, which at that time teemed with disagreeable thoughts. He had not proceeded two hundred steps, when he heard something blowing and stamping behind him ; and, looking back, perceived the lieutenant at his heels, with rage and indignation in his countenance. This exasperated seaman, impatient of the affront he had received, and forgetting all the circumstances of their former intimacy, advanced with great eagerness to his old friend, saying ,— 4 Look ye, brother, you’re a saucy boy, and if you was at sea, I would have your backside brought to the davit for your disobedience; but as we are on shore, you and I must crack a pistol at one another; here is a brace, you shall take which you please.’ Peregrine, upon recollection, was sorry for having been laid under the necessity of disobliging honest Jack, and very frankly asked his pardon for what he had done. But this condescension was misinterpreted by the other, who refused any other satisfaction but that which an officer ought to claim; and, with some irreverent expressions, asked if Perry was afraid of his bacon. The youth, inflamed at 150 THE ADVENTURES OF this unjust insinuation, darted a ferocious look at the chal¬ lenger, told him he had paid but too much regard to his infirmities, and bid him walk forward to the park, where he would soon convince him of his error, if he thought his con¬ cession proceeded from fear. About this time, they were overtaken by Pipes, who 1 la¬ ving heard the lieutenant's fall, and seen him pocket his pistols, suspected that there was a quarrel in the case, and followed him with a view of protecting his master. Pere¬ grine seeing him arrive, and guessing his intention, assu¬ med an air of serenity, and pretending that he had left his handkerchief at the inn, ordered his man to go thither and fetch it to him in the park, where he would find them at his return. This command was twice repeated before Tom would take any other notice of the message, except by sha¬ king his head ; but being urged with many threats and curses to obedience, he ^ave them to understand that he knew their drift too well to trust them by themselves. e As for you, Lieutenant Hatchway,’ said he, c I have been your sliig- mate, and know you to be a sailor, that’s enough ; and as for master, I know him to be as good a man as ever stepped betM^een stem and stern, whereby, if you have any thing to say to him, I am your man, as the saying is. Here’s my sap- pling, and I don’t value your crackers of a rope’s end.’ This oration, the longest that ever Pipes was known to make, he concluded with a flourish of his cudgel, and en forced with such determined refusals to leave them, that they found it impossible to bring the cause to mortal arbi- trement at that time, and strolled about the park in profound silence ; during which Hatchwav’s indignation subsiding, he all of a sudden thrust out his hand, as an advance to re¬ conciliation, which being cordially shaken by Peregrine, a general pacification ensued ; and was followed by a consulta¬ tion about the means of extricating the youth from his pre¬ sent perplexity. Had his disposition been like that of most other young men, it would have deen no difficult task to overcome his difficulties ; but such was the obstinacy of his pride, that he deemed himself bound in honour to resent- PEREGRINE PICKLE. 151 the letters he had received ; and, instead of submitting to the pleasure of the commodore, expected an acknowledgment from him, without which he would listen to no terms of ac¬ commodation. 4 Had I been his own son,’ said he, 4 I should have bore his reproof, and sued for forgiveness ; but know¬ ing myself to be on the footing of an orphan, who depends entirely upon his benevolence, I am jealous of every thing that can be construed into disrespect, and insist upon be¬ ing treated with the most punctual regard. I shall now make application to my father, who is obliged to provide for me by the ties of nature, as well as the laws of the land : and if he shall refuse to do me justice,*1 can never want em¬ ployment while men are required for his majesty’s service.’ The lieutenant, alarmed at this intimation, begged he would take no new step until he should hear from him ; and that very evening set out for the garrison, where he gave Trunnion an account of the miscarriage of his nego- tiation ; told him how highly Peregrine was offended at tin? letter; communicated the young gentleman’s sentiments and resolution ; and, finally, assured him, that unless he should think proper to ask pardon for the offence he had committed, he would, in all appearance, never more behold the face of his godson. The old commodore was utterly confounded at his piece of intelligence ; he had expected all the humility of obedi¬ ence and contrition from the young man; and, instead of that, received nothing but the most indignant opposition, and even found himself in the circumstances of an offender, obli¬ ged to make atonement, or forfeit all correspondence with his favourite. These insolent conditions at first threw him into * an agony of wrath, and he vented execrations with such rapidity, that he left himself no time to breathe, and had almost been suffocated with his choler. He inveighed bit¬ terly against the ingratitude of Peregrine, whom he men¬ tioned with many opprobrious epithets, and swore that he ought to be keelhauled for his presumption ; but when he began to reflect more coolly upon the spirit of the young gentleman, which had already manifested itself on many 152 THE ADVENTURES OF occasions, and listened to the suggestions of Hatchway, whom he had always considered as an oracle in his way, his resentment abated, and he determined to take Perry into favour again : this placability being not a little facilitated by Jack’s narrative of our hero’s intrepid behaviour at the assembly, as well as in the contest with him in the park. But still this plaguy amour occurred like a bugbear to his imagination; for he held it as an infallible maxim, that woman was an eternal source of misery to man. Indeed this apothegm he seldom repeated since his marriage, ex¬ cept in the company of a very few intimates, to whose se¬ crecy and discretion he could trust. Finding Jack himself at a nonplus in the affair of Emilia, he consulted Mrs Trunnion, who was equally surprised and offended when she understood that her letter did not produce the desired effect; and, after having imputed the youth’s obstinacy to his uncle’s unseasonable indulgence, had recourse to the ad¬ vice of the parson, who, still with an eye to his friend’s ad¬ vantage, counselled them to send the young gentleman on his travels, in the course of which he would, in all probabi¬ lity, forget the amusements of his greener years. 4 The pro¬ posal was judicious, and immediately approved; when Trun¬ nion going into his closet, after divers efforts, produced the following billet, with which Jack departed for Windsor that same afternoon.— f My good Lad, ( If I gave offence in my last letter. I’m sorry for’t, d'ye see ; I thought it was the likeliest way to bring you up ; but, in time to come, you shall have a larger swing of cable. When you can spare time, I shall be glad if you will make a short trip, and see your aunt, and him who is your loving godfather and humble servant, * Hawser Trunnion/ e P. S. If you want money, you may draw upon me payable at sight/ PEREGRINE PICKLE. 153 CHAPTER XXVI. He becomes melancholy and despondent; is favoured with a conde¬ scending' letter from his uncle ; reconciles himself to his go¬ vernor , and sets out with Emilia and her friend for Mrs Gauntlet's house. Peregrine, fortified as he was with pride and indignation, did not fail to feel the smarting suggestions of his present situation ; after having lived so long in an affluent and im¬ perious manner, he could ill brook the thoughts of sub¬ mitting to the mortifying exigencies of life. All the gaudy- schemes of pomp and pleasure, which his luxuriant ima¬ gination had formed, began to dissolve, a train of melan¬ choly ideas took possession of his thoughts, and the pros¬ pect of losing Emilia was not the least part of his afflic¬ tion. Though he endeavoured to suppress the chagrin that preyed upon his heart, he could not conceal the disturb¬ ance of his mind from the penetration of that amiable young lady, who sympathized with him in her heart, though she could not give her tongue the liberty of asking the cause of his disorder : for, notwithstanding all the ardour of his addresses, he never could obtain from her the declaration of a mutual flame; because, though he had hitherto treated her with the utmost reverence of respect, he had never once mentioned the final aim of his passion. However honour¬ able she supposed it to be, she had discernment enough to foresee that vanity or interest, co-operating with the levity of youth, might one day deprive her of her lover, and she was too proud to give him any handle of exulting at her expenee. Although he was received by her with the most distinguished civility, and even an intimacy of friendship, all his solicitations could never extort from her an acknow¬ ledgment of love; on the contrary, being of a gay dispo¬ sition, she sometimes coquetted with other admirers, that his attention, thus whetted, might never abate, and that he might see she had other resources, in case he should flag in his affection. This being the prudential plan on which she acted, it 154 THE ADVENTURES OP cannot be supposed that she would condescend to inquire into the state of his thoughts, when she saw him thus affect¬ ed ; but she, nevertheless, imposed that task on her cousin and confident, who, as they walked together in the park, observed that he seemed to be out of humour. When this is the case, such a question generally increases the dis¬ ease ; at least it had that affect upon Peregrine, who re¬ plied somewhat peevishly, 6 I assure you, madam, you never was more mistaken in your observations.’— 4 I think so too,’ said Emilia, 4 for I never saw Mr Pickle in higher spirits.’ This ironical encomium completed his confusion ; he affect¬ ed to smile, but it was a smile of anguish, and in his heart he cursed the vivacity of both. Pie could not for his soul recollect himself so as to utter one connected sentence; and the suspicion that they observed every circumstance of his behaviour, threw such a damp on his spirits, that he was quite overwhelmed with shame and resentment, when Sophy, casting her eyes toward the gate, said, 4 Yonder is your servant, Mr Pickle, with another man who seems to ♦ have a wooden leg.’ Peregrine started at this intelligence, and immediately underwent sundry changes of complexion, knowing that his fate in a great measure depended upon the information he would receive from his friend. Hatchway, advancing to the company, after a brace of sea bows to the ladies, took the youth aside and put the commodore’s letter into his hand, which threw him into such an agitation, that he could scarce pronounce 6 Ladies, will you give me leave ?’ When, in consequence of their permission, he attempted to open the billet, he fumbled with such manifest disorder, that his mistress, who watched his motions, began to think there was something very inte¬ resting in the message; and so much was she affected with his concern, that she was fain to turn her head another way, and wipe the tears from her lovely eyes. Meanwhile, Peregrine no sooner read the first sentence, than his countenance, which before was overcast with a deep gloom, began to be lighted up, and every feature unbend- ing by degrees, be recovered his serenity. Having perused PEREGRINE PICKLE, 155 the letter, liis eyes sparkling with joy and gratitude, he hug¬ ged the lieutenant in his arms, and presented him to the ladies as one of his best friends. Jack met with a most gracious reception, and shook Emilia by the hand, telling her, with the familiar appellation of old acquaintance , that he did not care how soon he was master of such another clean¬ going frigate as herself. The whole company partook of this favourable change that evidently appeared in our lover’s recollection, and en¬ livened his conversation with such an uncommon flow of sprightliness and good humour, as even made an impres¬ sion on the iron countenance of Pipes himself, who actually smiled with satisfaction as he walked behind them. The evening being pretty far advanced, they directed their course homeward ; and while the valet attended Hatch¬ way to the inn, Peregrine escorted the ladies to their lod¬ gings, where he owned the justness of Sophy’s remark, in saying he was out of humour, and told them he had been extremely chagrined at a difference which had happened between him and his uncle, to whom (by the letter which they had seen him receive) he now found himself happily reconciled. Having received their congratulations, and declined stay¬ ing to sup with them, on account of the longing desire he. had to converse with his friend Jack, he took his leave, and repaired to the inn, where Hatchway informed him of every thing that had happened in the garrison upon his repre¬ sentations. Far from being disgusted, he was perfectly well pleased with the prospect of going abroad, which flattered his vanity and ambition, gratified his thirst after knowledge, and indulged that turn for observation, for which he had been remarkable from his most tender years. Neither did he believe a short absence would tend to the prejudice of his love, but, on the contrary, enhance the value of his heart, because he should return better accomplished, and conse¬ quently a more welcome offering to his mistress. Elevated with these sentiments, his heart dilated with joy, and the sluices of his natural benevolence being opened by this hap- THE ADVENTURES OL*’ 156 py turn of his affairs, he sent his compliments to Mr Jolter, to whom he had not spoken during a whole week, and de¬ sired he would favour Mr Hatchway and him with his com¬ pany at supper. The governor was not weak enough to decline this invi¬ tation ; in consequence of which he forthwith appeared, and was cordially welcomed by the relenting pupil, who ex¬ pressed his sorrow for the misunderstanding which had pre¬ vailed between them, and assured him, that, for the future# he would avoid giving him any just cause of complaint.—- Jolter, who did not want affection, was melted by this acknowledgment, which lie could not have expected, and earnestly protested, that his chief study had always been, and ever should be, to promote Mr Pickle’s interest and happiness. The best part of the night being spent in the circulation of a cheerful glass, the company broke up ; and next morn- in o* Peregrine went out with a view of making his mistress acquainted with his uncle’s intention of sending him out of the kingdom for his improvement, and of saying every thing which he thought necessary for the interest of his love- He found her at breakfast with her cousin; and, as he was very full of the subject of his visit, had scarce fixed him¬ self in his seat, when he brought it upon the carpet, by asking, with a smile, if the ladies had any commands for Paris. Emilia, at this question, began to stare, and her con¬ fident desired to know who was going thither. He no sooner crave them to understand that he himself intended in a short o time to visit that capital, than his mistress, with great pre¬ cipitation, wished him a good journey, and affected to talk with indifference about the pleasures he would enjoy in France; but when he seriously assured Sophy, who asked if he was in earnest, that his uncle actually insisted upon his making a short tour, the tears gushed into poor Emilia’s eyes, and she was at great pains to conceal her concern, by observing that the tea was so scalding hot, as to make her eyes water. This pretext was too thin to impose upon her lover, or even deceive the observation of her friend Sophy, PEREGRINE PICKLE. 157 who, after breakfast, took an opportunity of quitting the room. Thus left by themselves, Peregrine imparted to her what he had learned of the commodore's intention, without, how¬ ever, mentioning a syllable of his being offended at their cor¬ respondence, and accompanied his information with such fervent vows of eternal constancy and solemn promises of a speedy return, that Emilia’s heart, which had been in¬ vaded by a suspicion that this scheme of travelling was the effect of her lover’s inconstancy, began to be more at ease ; and she could not help signifying her approbation of his design. This affair being amicably compromised, he asked how SGon she proposed to set out for her mother’s house; and understanding that her departure was fixed for next day but one, and that her cousin Sophy intended to accompany her in her father’s chariot, he repeated his intention of at¬ tending her. In the mean time he dismissed his governor and the lieutenant to the garrison, with his compliments to his aunt and the commodore, and a faithful promise of his being with them in six days at farthest. These previous measures being taken, he, attended by Pipes, set out with the ladies; and they had also a convoy for twelve miles from Sophy’s father, who at parting recom¬ mended them piously to the care of Peregrine, with whom, by this time, he was perfectly well acquainted. CHAPTER XXVII. They meet with a dreadful alarm on the road—arrive at their journey's end-—Peregrine is introduced to Emily's brother — these two young gentlemen misunderstand each other—Pickle departs for the garrison. As they travelled at an easy rate, they had performed some¬ thing more than one half of their journey, when they were benighted near an inn, at which they resolved to lodge : the accommodation was very good; they supped together 15 $ TIIK ADVENTURES OF with great mirth and enjoyment, and it was not till after he had been warned by the yawns of the ladies, that he con¬ ducted them to their apartment; where wishing them good night, he retired to his own, and went to rest. The house was crowded with country people who had been at a neighbouring fair, and now regaled themselves with ale and tobbacco in the yard ; so that their consideration, which at anytime was but slender, being now overwhelmed by this debauch, they staggered into their respective ken¬ nels, and left a lighted candle sticking to one of the wooden pillars that supported the gallery. The flame in a little time laid hold on the wood, which was as dry as tinder, and the whole gallery was on fire, when Peregrine suddenly awaked, and found himself almost suffocated. He sprung up in an instant, slipped on his breeches, and throwing open the door of his chamber, saw the whole entry in a blaze. Heavens! what were the emotions of his soul, when he beheld the volumes of flame and smoke rolling towards the room where his dear Emilia lay ! Regardless of his own dan¬ ger, he darted himself through the thickest of the gloom, when knocking hard, and calling at the same time to the la¬ dies, with the most anxious entreaty to be admitted, the door was opened by Emilia in her shift, who asked, with the utmost trepidation, what was the matter. He made no re¬ ply, but snatching hpr up in his arms, like another iEneas, bore her through the flames to a place of safety ; where, leaving her before she could recollect herself, or pronounce one word, but ‘ Alas! my cousin Sophy !’ he flew back to the rescue of that young lady, and found her already deliver¬ ed by Pipes, who, having been alarmed by the smell of fire, had got up, rushed immediately to the chamber where he knew these companions lodged, and (Emily being saved by her lover) brought off Miss Sophy with the loss of his own shock head of hair, which was singed off in his retreat. By this time the whole inn was alarmed ; every lodger, as well as servant, exerted himself, in order to stop the progress of this calamity; and fliere being a well replenished horse- I PEREGRINE PICKLE. 15$ pond in the yard, in less than an hour the fire was totally extinguished, without having done any other damage than that of consuming about twx> yards of the wooden gallery. All this time our young gentleman closely attended his fair charge, each of whom had swooned with apprehension ; but as their constitutions were good, and their spirits not easily dissipated, when, upon reflection, they found them¬ selves and their company safe, and that the flames wpre hap¬ pily quenched, the tumult of their fears subsided, they put on their clothes, recovered their good humour, and began to rally each other on the trim in which they had been secured. Sophy observed, that now Mr Pickle had an indisputable claim to her cousin's affection ; and therefore she ought to lay aside all affected reserve for the future, and frankly avow the sentiments of her heart. Emily retorted the argument, putting her in mind, that, by the same claim, Mr Pipes was entitled to the like return from her. Her friend admit¬ ted the force of the conclusion, provided she could not find means of satisfying her deliverer in another shape; and turning to the valet, who happened to be present, asked if his heart was not otherwise engaged. Tom, who did not conceive the meaning of the question, stood silent, according to custom; and the interrogation being repeated, answered, with a grin, 4 Heart whole as a biscuit. I’ll assure you, mistress.’ 4 What!’ said Emilia, have you never been in love, Thomas?’ ‘Yes, forsooth,’ replied the valet, with¬ out hesitation, 4 sometimes of a morning.’ Peregrine could not help laughing, and his mistress looked a little disconcert¬ ed, at this blunt repartee : while Sophy slipping a purse into liis hand, told him there was something to purchase a peri¬ wig. Tom, having consulted his master's eyes, refused the present, saying, 4 No, thank ye as much as if did.’ And, though she insisted upon his putting it in bis pocket, as a small testimony of her gratitude, he could not be prevailed upon to avail himself of her generosity ; but, following her to the other end of the room, thrust it into her sleeve without ceremony, exclaiming,— 4 I’ll be damn’d to h—11 if I do.’ Peregrine having checked him for his boorish behaviour, sent 160 THE ADVENTURES 01? him out of the room, and begged that Miss Sophy would not endeavour to debauch the morals of his servant, who, rough and uncultivated as he was, had sense enough to per¬ ceive that he had no pretension to any such acknowledg¬ ment. But she argued with great vehemence that she should never be able to make an acknowledgment adequate to the service he had done her, and that she should never be per¬ fectly easy in her own mind, until she found some opportu¬ nity of manifesting the sense she had of the obligation : e I do not pretend,’ said she, ‘ to reward Mr Pipes; but I shall be absolutelv unhappy, unless I am allowed to give him some token of my regard.’ Peregrine, thus earnestly solicited, desired that, since she was bent upon displaying her generosity, she would not be¬ stow upon him any pecuniary gratification, but honour him with some trinket, as a mark of consideration ; because he himself had such a particular value for the fellow, on account of his attachment and fidelity, that he should be sorry to see him treated on the footing of a common merce¬ nary domestic. There was not one jewel in the possession of this grate¬ ful young lady, that she would not have gladly given as a recompence, or badge of distinction, to her rescuer; but his master pitched upon a seal-ring of no great value, that hung at her watch, and Pipes being called in, had permis¬ sion to accept that testimony of Miss Sophy’s favour. Tom received it accordingly with sundry scrapes, and, having kissed it with great devotion, put it on his little finger, and strutted off, extremely proud of his acquisition. Emilia, with a most enchanting sweetness of aspect, told her lover, that he had instructed her how to behave towards him; and taking a diamond ring from her finger, desired he would wear it for her sake. He received the pledge as became him, and presented another in exchange, which she at first refused, alleging, that it would destroy the intent of her acknowledgment; but Peregrine assured her, he had accepted her jewel, not as a proof of her gratitude, but as the mark of her love ; and that, if she refused a mutual token. PEREGRINE PICKLE. 161 lie should look upon himself as the object of her disdain. Her eyes kindled, and her cheeks glowed with resentment, at this impudent intimation, which she considered as ail unseasonable insult; and the young gentleman, perceiving her emotion, stood corrected for his temerity, and asked pardon for the liberty of his remonstrance, which he hoped she would ascribe to the prevalence of that principle alone which he had always taken pride in avowing. Sophy, seeing him disconcerted, interposed in his behalf, and chid her cousin for having practised such unnecessary affectation ; upon which Emilia, softened into compliance, held out her finger as a signal of her condescension. Pere¬ grine put on the ring with great eagerness, mumbled her soft white hand in an extacy, which would not allow him to confine his embraces to that limb, but urged him to seize her by the waist, and snatch a delicious kiss from her love- pouting lips; nor would he leave her a butt to the ridicule of Sophy, on whose mouth he instantly committed a rape of the same nature; so that the two friends, countenanced by each other, reprehended him with such gentleness of re¬ buke, that he was almost tempted to repeat the offence. The morning being now lighted up, and the servants of the inn on foot, he ordered some chocolate for breakfast, and, at the desire of the ladies, sent Pipes to see the horses fed, and the chariot prepared, while he went to the bar, and discharged the bill. These measures being taken, they set out about five o’clock, and having refreshed themselves and their cattle at another inn on the road, proceeded in the afternoon. Without meet¬ ing with any other accident, they safely arrived at the place of their destination, where Mrs Gauntlet expressed her joy at seeing her old friend Mr Pickle, whom, however, she kindly reproached for the long discontinuance of his regard. Without explaining the cause of that interruption, he pro¬ tested, that his love and esteem had never been discontinued, and that,'for the future, he should omit no occasion of testi¬ fying how much he had her friendship at heart. She then Vol. 1L K 162 THE ADVENTURES OP made him acquainted with her son, who at that time was in the house, being excused from his duty by furlough. This young man, whose name was Godfrey, was about the age of twenty, of a middling size, vigorous make, re¬ markably well shaped ; and the scars of the small pox, of which he bore a good number, added a peculiar manliness to the air of his countenance. His capacity was good, and his disposition naturally frank and easy ; but he had been a soldier from his infancy, and his education was altogether in the military style. He looked upon taste and letters as mere pedantry, beneath the consideration of a gentleman ; and every civil station of life as mean, when compared with the profession of arms. He had made great progress in the gymnastic sciences of dancing, fencing, and riding, played perfectly well on the German flute, and, above all things, valued himself upon a scrupulous observance of all the points of honour. Had Peregrine and he considered themselves upon equal footing, in all probability they would have immediately en¬ tered into a league of intimacy and friendship : but this sufficient soldier looked upon his sister’s admirer as a young student, raw from the university, and utterly ignorant of mankind ; while Squire Pickle beheld Godfrey in the light of a needy volunteer, greatly inferior to himself in fortune, as well as every other accomplishment. This mutual mis¬ understanding could not fail of producing animosities. The very next day after Peregrine’s arrival, some sharp repartees passed between them in presence of the ladies, before whom each endeavoured to assert his own superiority. In these contests our hero never failed of obtaining the victory, be¬ cause his genius was more acute, and his talents better cul¬ tivated than those of his antagonist, who therefore took um¬ brage at his success, became jealous of his reputation, and began to treat him with marks of scorn and disrespect. His sister saw, and dreading the consequence of his fe¬ rocity, not only took him to task in private for his impolite behaviour, but also entreated her lover to make allowances for theroughnessof her brother’s education. He kindly assured PEREGRINE PICKLE. 163 her, that, whatever pains it might cost him to vanquish his own impetuous temper, he would for her sake endure all the mortifications to which her brother’s arrogance might expose him ; and after having stayed with her two days, and en¬ joyed several private interviews, during which he acted the part of a most passionate lover, he took his leave of Mrs Gauntlet over night, and told the young ladies he would call early next morning to bid them farewell. He did not neglect this piece of duty, and found the two friends and breakfast already prepared in the parlour. All three being extremely affected with the thoughts of parting, a most pathetic silence for some time prevailed, till Peregrine put an end to it, by lamenting his fate, in being obliged to exile himself so long from the dear object of his most interesting wish. He begged, with the most earnest supplications, that she would now, in consideration of the cruel absence he must suffer, give him the consolation which she had hitherto refused, namely, that of knowing he possessed a place within her heart. The confidant seconded his request, representing, that it was now no time to disguise her sentiments, when her lover was about to leave the kingdom, and might be in danger of contracting other connections, unless he was confirmed in his constancy, by knowing how far he could depend upon her love; .and, in short, she was pjliecl with such irresistible importunities, that she answered, in the utmost confusion,— 6 Though I have avoided literal acknowledgments, methinksthe circumstances of my behaviour might have convinced Mr Pickle that I do not regard him as a common acquaintance.’ 4 My charming Emily !’ cried the impatient lover, throwing himself at her feet, 4 why will you deal out my happiness in such scanty portions? why w r iil you thus mince the declaration which would overwhelm me with pleasure, and cheer my lonely reflection, while I sigh amid the solitude of separation ?’ Plis fair mistress, melted by this image, replied, with the tears gushing from her eyes,— 4 I’m afraid I shall feel that sepa¬ ration more severely than you imagine.’ Transported at this flattering confession, lie pressed her to his breast, and, while her head reclined upon his neck, mingled his tears with lier’s l 2 164 THE ADVENTURES OF in great abundance, breathing the most tender vows of eter¬ nal fidelity. The gentle heart of Sophy could not bear this scene unmoved; she wept with sympathy, and encouraged the lovers to resign themselves to the will of fate, and support their spirits with the hope of meeting again on happier terms. Finally, after mutual promises, exhortations, and endearments, Peregrine took his leave, his heart being so full* that he could scarce pronounce the word adieu ! and, mount¬ ing his horse at the door, set out with Pipes for the garrison* CHAPTER XXVIII. Peregrine is overtaken by Mr Gauntlet , with whom he fights a duel , and contracts an intimate friendship—-he arrives at the garrison , and finds his mother as implacable as ever—he is insulted bp his brother Gam , whose preceptor he disciplines with a horse-whip. In order to expel the melancholy images that took possession of his fancy at parting from his mistress, he called in the flattering ideas of those pleasures he expected to enjoy in France; and, before he had rode ten miles, his imagination was effectually amused. 4/ While he thus prosecuted his travels by anticipation, and indulged himself in all the insolence of hope, at the turning of a lane he was all of a sudden overtaken by Emilia’s bro¬ ther on horseback, who told him he was riding the same way, and should be glad of his company. This young gentleman, whether prompted by personal pique, or actuated with zeal for the honour of his family, had followed our hero, with a view of obliging him to ex¬ plain the nature of his attachment to his sister Peregrine returned his compliment with such disdainful civility, as gave him room to believe that he suspected his errand; and therefore, without further preamble, he declared his busi¬ ness, in these words c Mr Pickle, you have carried on a correspondence with my sister f or some time, and I should be glad to know the nature of it.’ To this question our lover replied,— £ Sir, I should be glad to know what title you PEREGRINE PICKLE. 165 Lave to demand that satisfaction.’ 4 Sir,’ answered the other, 4 I demand it in the capacity of a brother, jealous of his own honour, as well as of his sister’s reputation ; and if your intentions are honourable, you will not refuse it.’ 6 Sir,’ said Peregrine, 4 1 am not at present disposed to appeal to your opinion for the rectitude of my intentions; and I think you assume a little too much importance, in pretending to judge my conduct.’ 4 Sir,’ replied the soldier, 4 I pretend to judge the conduct of every man w ho interferes with my concerns, and even to chastise him, if I think he acts amiss.' 4 Chastise !’ cried the youth, with indignation in his looks, 4 sure you dare not apply that term to me !’ 4 You are mis¬ taken,’ said Godfrey ; 4 I dare do any thing that becomes the character of a gentleman.’ 4 Gentleman ! God wot f replied the other, looking contemptuously at his equipage, which was none of the most superb; 4 a very pretty gentleman, truly !’ The soldier’s wrath was inflamed by this ironical re¬ petition, the contempt of which his conscious poverty made him feel ; and he called his antagonist, presumptuous boy ! insolent upstart! with other epithets, which Perry retorted with great bitterness. A formal challenge having passed between them, they alighted at the first inn, and walked into the next field, in order to decide their quarrel by the sword. Having pitched upon the spot, helped to pull off each other’s boots, and laid aside their coats and waistcoats, Mr Gauntlet told his opponent, that he himself was looked upon in the army as an expert swordsman ; and that, if Mr Pickle had not made that science his particular study, they should be upon a more equal footing in using pistols. Pe¬ regrine was too much incensed to thank him for his plain dealing, and too confident of his own skill to relish the other’s proposal, which he accordingly rejected : then, drawing his sword, he observed, that, were he to treat Mr Gauntlet accordingly to his deserts, he would order his man to punish his audacity with a horse-whip. Exasperated at this expression, which he considered as an indelible affront, he made no reply, but attacked his adversary with equal ferocity and address. The youth parried his first and se« 106 TilE ADVENTURES OF cond thrust, but received the third in the outside of his sword arm. Though the wound was superficial, he was transported with rage at sight of his own blood, and returned the assault with such fury and precipitation, that Gauntlet, loath to take advantage of his unguarded heat, stood upon the de¬ fensive. In tlie second lounge, Peregrine’s weapon entering a kind of net-work in the shell of Godfrey’s sword, the blade snapped in two, and left him at the mercy of the soldier, who, far from makinc* an insolent use of the victory he had gained, put up his toledowith great deliberation, like a man who had been used to that kind of rencounter, and ob¬ served, that such a blade as Peregrine’s was not to be trusted with a man’s life: then advising the owner to treat a gentle¬ man in distress with more respect for the future, he slipped on his boots, and, with sullen dignity of demeanour, stalked back to the inn. Though Pickle was extremely mortified at his miscarriage in this adventure, he was also struck with the behaviour of his antagonist, which affected him the more, as lie under¬ stood that Godfrey’s ficrle had proceeded from the jealous sensibility of a gentleman declined into the vale of mis¬ fortune. Gauntlet’s valour and moderation induced him to put a favourable construction on all those circumstances of that young soldier’s conduct, which had before given him disgust. Though, in any other case, he would have indus¬ triously avoided the least appearance of submission, he fol¬ lowed his conqueror to the inn, with a view of thanking him for his generous forbearance, and of soliciting his friendship and correspondence. Godfrey had his foot in the stirrup to mount, when Pe¬ regrine coming up to him, desired he would defer his de¬ parture for a quarter of an hour, and favour him with a little private conversation. The soldier, who mistook the meaning of the request, immediately quitted his horse, and followed Pickle into a chamber, where he expected to find a brace of pistols loaded on the table; but he was very agreeably de¬ ceived, when our hero, in the most respectful terms, acknow~ PEREGRINE PICKLE. 167 lodged his noble deportment in the field, owned that till then lie had misunderstood his character, and begged that he would honour him with his intimacy and correspondence. Gauntlet, who had seen undoubted proofs of Peregrine’s courage, which had considerably raised him in his esteem, and had sense enough to perceive that this concession was not owing to any sordid or sinister motive, embraced his offer with demonstrations of infinite satisfaction. When he understood the terms on which Mr. Pickle was with his sister, he proffered his service in his turn, either as agent, mediator, or confidant: nay, to give his new friend a con¬ vincing proof of his sincerity, he disclosed to him a passion which he had for some time entertained for his cousin Miss Sophy, though he durst not reveal his sentiments to her la¬ ther, lest he should be offended at his presumption, and withdraw his protection from the family. Peregrine’s generous heart was wrung with anguish, when he understood that this young gentleman, who was the only son of a distinguished officer, had carried arms for the space of five years, without being able to obtain a subaltern’s com¬ mission, though he had always behaved with remarkable re¬ gularity and spirit, and acquired the friendship and esteem of all the officers under whom he had served. He would at that time, with the utmost pleasure, have shared his finances with him; but, as he would not run the risk of offending the young soldier’s delicacy of honour, by a premature exertion of his liberality, he resolved to insinuate himself into an intimacy with him, before he would venture to take such freedoms ; and, with that view, pressed Mr Gauntlet to accompany him to the garrison, where he did not doubt of having influence enough to make him a wel¬ come guest. Godfrey thanked him very courteously for his invitation, which he said he could not immediately accept; but promised, if he would favour him with a letter, and fix the time at which he proposed to set out for France, he would endeavour to visit him at the commodore’s habita¬ tion, and from thence give him a convoy to Hover. This new treaty being settled, and a dossil of lint, with a snip of THE ADVENTURES OF plaster, applied to our adventurer’s wound, he parted from fhe brother of his dear Emilia, to whom, and his friend Sophy, he sent his kindest wishes; and having lodged one night upon the road, arrived next day in the afternoon at the garrison, where lie found all his friends in good health, and overjoyed at his return. The commodore, who was by this time turned of seventy 9 and altogether crippled by the gout, seldom went abroad and, as his conversation was not very entertaining, had but little company within doors; so that his spirits must have quite stagnated, had they not been kept in motion by the conversation of Hatchway, and received, at different times, a wholesome fillip from the discipline of his spouse? who, by the force of pride, religion, and coniac, had erected a most terrible tyranny in the house. There was such a quick circulation of domestics in the family, that every suit of livery had been worn by figures of all dimensions. Trun¬ nion himself had, long before this time, yielded to the torrent of her arbitrary sway, though not without divers obstinate efforts to maintain his liberty; and now that he was dis¬ abled by his infirmities, when he used to hear his empress singing the loud Orthyan song among the servants below, he would often, in whispers, communicate to the lieutenant hints of what he would do, if so be as how he was not de¬ prived of the use of his precious limbs. Hatchway was the only person whom the temper of Mrs Trunnion respected, either because she dreaded his ridicule, or looked upon his person w r ith eyes of affection. This being the situation of things in the garrison, it is not to be doubted that the old gentleman highly enjoyed the presence of Peregrine, who found means to ingratiate himself so effectually with his aunt, that, while he remained at home, she seemed to have exchanged the disposition of a tigress for that of a gentle kid : but he found his own mother as implacable, and his father as much henpecked as ever. Gamaliel, who now very seldom enjoyed the conversa¬ tion of his old friend the commodore, had some time ago entered into an amicable society, consisting of the barber, PEREGRINE PICKLE. 169 apothecary, attorney, and exciseman of the parish, among whom he used to spend the evening at Tunley’s, and listen to their disputes upon philosophy and politics with great comfort and edification, while his sovereign lady domineer® ed at home as usual, visited with great pomp in the neigh¬ bourhood, and employed her chief care in the education of her darling son Gam, who was now in the fifteenth year of his age, and so remarkable for his perverse disposition, that, in spite of his mothers influence and authority, he was not only hated, but also despised both at home and abroad. She had put him under the tuition of the curate, who lived in the family, and was obliged to attend him in all his exercises and excursions. The governor was a low-bred fellow, who had neither experience nor ingenuity, but pos¬ sessed a large fund of adulation and servile complaisance, by which he had gained the good graces of Mrs Pickle? and presided over all her deliberations, in the same manner as his superior managed those of Mrs Trunnion. He had one day rode out to take the air with his pupil? who, as I have already observed, was odious to the poor people, for having killed their dogs, and broken their inclo¬ sures, and, on account of his hump, was distinguished by the title of My Lord , when, in a narrow lane they chanced to meet Peregrine on horseback. The young squire no sooner perceived his elder brother, against whom he had been instructed to bear the most in¬ veterate grudge, than he resolved to insult him en passant , and actually rode against him full gallop. Our hero, guess¬ ing his aim, f xed himself in his stirrups, and by a dexterous management of the reins, avoided the shock in such a man¬ ner, as that their legs only should encounter, by which means My Lord was tilted out of his saddle, and, in a twink¬ ling, laid sprawling in the dirt. The governor, enraged at the disgrace of his charge, advanced with great insolence and fury, and struck at Peregrine with his whip. Nothing could be more agreeable to our young gentleman than this assault, which furnished him with an opportunity of chastising an officious wretch, whose petulance and malice he had longed no THE ADVENTURES OF to punish. He, therefore, spurring up his horse towards his antagonist, overthrew him in the middle of a hedge. Be¬ fore he had time to recollect himself from the confusion of the fall, Pickle alighted in a trice, and exercised his horse¬ whip with such agility about the curate’s face and ears, that he was fain to prostrate himself before his enraged conqueror, and implore his forbearance in the most abject terms. While Peregrine was thus employed, his brother Gam had made shift to rise and attack him in the rear; for which reason, when the tutor was quelled, the victor faced about, snatched the weapon out of his hand, and having broken it in pieces, remounted his horse, and rode off, without deigning to ho¬ nour him with any other notice. The condition in which they returned produced infinite clamour against the conqueror, who was represented as a ruffian who had lain in ambush to make away with his bro¬ ther, in whose defence the curate was said to have received those cruel stripes, that hindered him from appearing for three whole weeks in the performance of his duty at church. Complaints were made to the commodore, who, having inquired into the circumstances of the affair, approved of what his nephew had done ; adding, with many oaths, that, provided Peregrine had been out of the scrape, he wished Crook-back had broke bis neck in the fall. CHAPTER XXIX. He projects a plan of revenge, which is executed against the curate . Our hero, exasperated at the villany of the curate in the treacherous misrepresentation he had made of this rencoun¬ ter, determined to practise upon him'a method of revenge, which should be not only effectual, but also unattended with any bad consequence to himself. For this purpose he and Hatchway, to whom he imparted his plan, went to the ale¬ house one evening, and called for an empty room, knowing there w^as no other but that which they had chosen for the scene of action. This apartment was a sort of a parlour, PEREGRINE PICKLE. 171 that fronted the kitchen, with a window towards the yard ; where, after they had sat some time, the lieutenant found means to amuse the landlord in discourse, while Peregrine, stepping out into the yard, by the talent of mimicry, which he possessed in a surprising degree, counterfeited a dialogue between the curate and Tunley’s wife. This reaching the ears of the publican, for whose hearing it was calculated, inflamed his naturally jealous disposition to such a degree, that he could not conceal his emotion, but made an hundred efforts to quit the room ; while the lieutenant, smoking his pipe with great gravity, as if he neither heard what passed, nor took notice of the landlord’s disorder, detained] him on the spot by a succession of questions which he could not refuse to answer, though he stood sweating with agony all the time, stretching his neck every instant towards the win¬ dow through which the voices were conveyed, scratching his head, and exhibiting sundry other symptoms of impa¬ tience and agitation. At length the supposed conversation came to such a pitch of amorous complaisance, that the hus¬ band quite frantic with his imaginary disgrace, rushed out at the door crying, c coming, sir.’ But, as he was obliged to make a circuit round one half of the house, Peregrine had got in by the window before Tunley arrived in the yard. According to the feigned intelligence he had received, he ran directly to the barn, in expectation of making some very extraordinary discovery; and having employed some minutes in rummaging the straw to no purpose, returned in a state of distraction to the kitchen, just as his wife chanced to enter at the other door. The circumstances of her appearance con¬ firmed him in the opinion that the deed was done. As the disease of being henpecked was epidemic in the parish, he durst not express the least hint of his uneasiness to her, but resolved to take vengeance on the libidinous priest, who, he imagined, had corrupted the chastity of his spouse. The two confederates, in order to be certified that their scheme had taken effect, as well as to blow up the flame which they had kindled, called for Tunley, in whose coun¬ tenance they could easily discern his confusion. Peregrine, THE ADVENTURES OF 172 desiring him to sit down and drink a glass with them, began to interrogate him about his family, and, among other things, asked him how long he had been married to that handsome wife. This question, which was put with an arch signifi¬ cance of look, alarmed the publican, who began to fear that Pickle had overheard his dishonour ; and this suspicion was not at all removed, when the lieutenant, with a sly regard, pronounced, 4 Tunley, wan’t you noosed by the curate ?’ c Yes, I was,’ replied the landlord, with an eagerness and perplexity of tone, as if he thought the lieutenant knew that thereby hung a idle ; and Hatchway supported this suspi¬ cion, by answering,— 4 Nay, as for that matter, the curate may be a very sufficient man in his way.’ This transition from his wife to the curate, convinced him that his shame was known to his guests; and, in the transport of his indig¬ nation, he pronounced with great emphasis,— 4 A sufficient man ! odds heart! I believe they are wolves in sheep’s cloth¬ ing. I wish to God I could see the day, master, when there shall not be a priest, an exciseman, or a customhouse officer in this kingdom. As for that fellow of a curate, if I do catch him—it don’t signify talking—but, by the Lord !—gentle¬ men, my service to you.’ The associates being satisfied, by these abrupt insinuations? that they had so far succeeded in their aim, waited with im¬ patience two or three days, in expectation of hearing that Tunley had fallen upon some method of being revenged for this imaginary wrong : but finding that either his invention was too shallow, or his inclination too languid, to gratify their desire of his own accord, they determined to bring the affair to such a crisis, that he should not be able to withstand the opportunity of executing his vengeance. With this view they one evening hired a boy to-run to Mr Pickle’s house and tell the curate, that Mrs Tunley, being taken suddenly ill, her husband desired he would come immediately, and pray with her Meanwhile, they had taken possession of a room in the house ; and Hatchway engaging the landlord in. conversation. Peregrine, in his return from the yard,, obser¬ ved, as if by accident, that the parson was gone into the kitch¬ en, in order, as he supposed, to catechise Tunley’s wife. PEREGRINE PICKLE* 173 The publican started at this intelligence, and, under pre¬ tence of serving another company in the next room, went out to the barn, where, arming himself with a flail, he re¬ paired to a lane through which the curate was under a ne¬ cessity of passing in his way home. There he lay in ambush, with fell intent; and, when the supposed author of his shame arrived, greeted him in the dark with such a salutation as forced him to stagger backward three paces at least. If the second application had taken effect, in all probability that spot would have been the boundary of the parson’s mortal peregrination ; but, luckily for him, his antagonist was not expert in the management of the weapon, which, by a twist of the thong that connected the legs, instead of pitching up¬ on the head of the astonished curate, descended in an ob¬ lique direction on his own pate, with such a swing, that the skull actually rung like an apothecary’s mortar, and ten thousand lights seemed to dance before his eyes. The curate recollecting himself during the respite he obtained from this accident, and believing his aggressor to be some thief who lurked in that place for prey, resolved to make a running fight, until he should arrive within cry of his habitation. With this design he raised up his cudgel for the defence of his head, and, betaking himself to his heels, began to roar for help with the lungs of a Stentor. Tunley, throwing away the flail, which he durst no longer trust with the exe¬ cution of his revenge, pursued the fugitive with all the speed lie could exert; and the other, either unnerved by fear, or stumbling over a stone, was overtaken before he had run an hundred paces. He no sooner felt the wind of the publican’s fist that whistled round his ears, than he fell flat upon the earth at full length, and the cudgel flew from his unclasping hand; when Tunley, springing like a tiger upon his back, rained such a shower of blows upon his carcase, that he ima¬ gined himself under the discipline of ten pair of fists at least; yet the imaginary cuckold, not satisfied with annoying the priest in this manner, laid hold on one of his ears with his teeth, and bit so unmercifully, that the curate was found al¬ most entranced with pain by two labourers, at whose ap¬ proach the assailant retreated unperceived. 174 THE ADVENTURES OF The lieutenant had posted himself at the window, in or¬ der to see the landlord at his first return ; and no sooner per¬ ceived him enter the yard, than hecalled him into the apart¬ ment, impatient to learn the effects of their stratagem. Tun- ley obeyed the summons, and appeared before his guests in all the violence of rage, disorder, and fatigue ; his nostrils were dilated more than one half beyond their natural capa¬ city, his eyes rolled, his teeth chattered, he snored in breath¬ ing as if he had been oppressed by the night-mare, and streams of sweat flowed down each side of his forehead. Peregrine, affecting to start at the approach of such an uncouth figure, asked if he had been wrestling with a spirit; upon which he answered, with great vehemence,— 4 Spirit ! no, no, master, I have had a roll and tumble with the flesh. A dog ! I’ll teach him to come a-caterwauling about my doors.’ Guessing, from this reply, that his aim was accom¬ plished, and curious to know the particulars of the rencoun¬ ter,—- 4 Well then,’ said the youth, 6 I hope you have pre¬ vailed against the flesh, Tunley.’ c Yes, yes,’ answered the publican, 6 I have cooled his capissens, as the saying is; I have played such a tune about his ears, that I’ll be bound he shan’t long for music this month, A goatish ram-faced rascal ! Why, lie’s a perfect parish bull, as I hope to live.’ Hatchway, observingyhat he seemed to have made a stout battle, desired he would sit down and recover wind ; and, after he had swallowed a brace of bumpers, his vanity prompted him to expatiate upon his own exploit in such a manner, that the confederates, without seeming to know the curate was his antagonist, became acquainted with every circumstance of the ambuscade. Tunley bad scarce got the better of bis agitation, when his wife entered the room, told them, by way of news, that some waggish body bad sent Mr »Sackbut the curate to pray with her. This name inflamed the husband’s choler anew'; and, forgetting all his complaisance for his spouse, he replied, witha rancorous grin, ‘ Add rabbit him ! I doubt not but you found his admonitions deadly comfortable!’ The landlady, looking at her vassal with a sovereign aspect. PEREGRINE PICKLE. 175 € What crotchets, 1 said she, 6 have you got in your fool’s head, I trow ? I know no business you have to sit here like a gentleman with your arms akimbo, when there’s another company in the house to be served. 1 The submissive hus¬ band took the hint, and without further expostulation, sneaked out of the room. Next day it was reported, that Mr Sackbut had been way-laid, and almost murdered by robbers, and an adver- tisment was pasted upon the church-door, offering a re¬ ward to any person that should discover the assassin; but he reaped no satisfaction from this expedient, and was con¬ fined to his chamber a whole fortnight by the bruises he had received. CHAPTER XXX. Mr Sackbut and his pupil conspire against Peregrine , who being apprised, o f their design by his sister , takes measures for counterworking their scheme , which is executed bij mis¬ take upon Mr Gauntlet—this young soldier meets with a cordial reception from the commodore , who generously de¬ coys him into his own interest , w hen he considered the circumstances of the ambuscade, he could not persuade himself that he had been assaulted by a common thief, because it was not to be supposed that a robber would have amused himself in pommelling rather than in rifling his prey ; he therefore ascribed his misfortune to the secret enmity of some person who had a design upon Jiis life ; and, upon mature deliberation, fixed his suspicion upon Peregrine, who was the only man on earth from whom he thought he deserved such treatment. He communicated his conjecture to his pupil, who readily adopted his opinion, and advised him strenuously to revenge the wrong by a like contrivance, without seeking to make a narrower inquiry, lest his enemy should be thereby put upon his guard. Th is proposal being relished, they in concert revolved the means of retorting the ambush with interest, and actually laid such a villanous plan for attacking our hero in the dark. 176 THE ADVENTURES OP that, had it been executed according to their intention, the young gentleman’s scheme of travelling would have been ef¬ fectually marred. But their machinations were overheard by Miss Pickle, who was nowin the seventeenth year of her age, and, in sprite of the prejudice of education, entertained in secret a most sisterly affection for her brother Perry, though she had never spoke to him, and was deterred by the precepts, vigilance, and menaces of her mother, from at¬ tempting any means of meeting him in private. She was not, however, insensible to his praise, which was loudly sounded forth in the neighbourhood, and never failed of go¬ ing to church, and every other place where she thought she might have an opportunity of seeing this amiable brother. With these sentiments it cannot be supposed that she would hear the conspiracy without emotion. She was shocked at the treacherous barbarity of Gam, and shuddered at the prospect of the danger to which Peregrine would be exposed from their malice. She durst not communicate this plot to her mother, because she was afraid that lady’s unac¬ countable aversion for her first-born would hinder her from interposing in his behalf, and consequently render her a sort of accomplice in the guilt of his assassins. She therefore resolved to warn Peregrine of the conspiracy, an account of which she transmitted to him in an affectionate letter, by means of a young gentleman in that neighbourhood, who made his addresses to her at that time, and who, at her re¬ quest, offered his service to our hero, in defeating the pro« jects of his adversaries. Peregrine was startled when he read the particulars of their scheme, which was no other than an intention to sally upon him when he should be altogether unprovided against such an attack, cut off his ears, and otherwise mutilate him in such a manner, that he should have no cause to be vain of his person for the future. Incensed as he was against the brutal disposition of his own father’s son, he could not help being moved at the in¬ tegrity and tenderness of his sister, of whose inclinations to¬ wards him he had been hitherto kept in ignorance. He PEREGRINE PICKLE. 177 thanked the gentleman for his honourable dealing, and ex¬ pressed a desire of being better acquainted with his virtues; told him, that, now he was cautioned, he hoped there would be no necessity for giving him any further trouble; and wrote by him a letter of.acknowledgement to his sister, for whom he expressed the utmost love and regard, beseeching her to favour him with an interview before his departure, that he might indulge his fraternal fondness, and be blessed with the company and countenance of one at least belong¬ ing to his own family. Having imparted this discovery to his friend Hatchway, they came to a resolution of countermining the plan of their enemies. As they did not chuse to expose themselves to the insinuations of slander, which would have exerted itself at their expense, had they, even in defending themselves, em¬ ployed any harsh means of retaliation, they invented a me¬ thod of disappointing and disgracing their foes, and imme¬ diately set Pipes at work to forward the preparations. Miss Pickle having described the spot which the assassins had pitched upon for the scene of their vengeance, our tri¬ umvirate intended to have placed a centinel among the corn, who should come and give then intelligence when the am¬ buscade was laid ; and, in consequence of that information, they would steal softly towards the place, attended by three or four of the domestics, and draw a large net over the con¬ spirators, w r ho, being entangled in the toil, should be dis¬ armed, fettered, heartily scourged, and suspended between two trees in the snare, as a spectacle to all passengers that should chance to travel that way. The plan being thus digested, and the commodore made acquainted with the whole affair, the spy was sent upon duty, and everybody within doors prepared to go forth up¬ on the first notice. One whole evening did they spend in the most impatient expectation ; but, on the second, the scout crept into the garrison, and assured them, that he had per¬ ceived three men skulking behind the hedge, on the road that led to the public house, from which Peregrine and the lieu¬ tenant used every night to return about that hour, Vol. IT. m 178 THE ADVENTURES OF this intelligence, the confederates set out immediately, with all their implements. Approaching the scene with as little noise as possible, they heard the sound of blows: and, though the night was dark, perceived a sort of tumultuous conflict on the very spot which the conspirators had possessed. Sur¬ prised at this occurrence, the meaning of which he could not comprehend, Peregrine ordered his myrmidons to halt and reconnoitre; and immediately his ears were saluted with an exclamation of, 6 You shan't 'scape me, rascal.’ The voice being quite familiar to him, he all at once divined the cause of that confusion which they had observed : and running up to the assistance of the exclaimer, found a fellow on his knees begging his life of Mr Gauntlet, who stood over him with a naked hanger in his hand. Pickle instantly made himself known to his friend, who told him, that, having left his horse at Tunley’s, he was, in his way to the garrison, set upon by three ruffians, one of whom being the very individual person now in his power, had come behind him, and struck with a bludgeon at his head, which, however, lie missed, and the instrument de¬ scended on his left shoulder ; that, upon drawing his hanger, and laying about him in the dark, the other two fled, leav¬ ing their companion, whom he had disabled, in the lurch. Peregrine congratulated him upon his safety, and having ordered Pipes to secure the prisoner, conducted Mr Gaunt¬ let to the garrison, where he met with a very hearty recep¬ tion from the commodore, to whom he was introduced as his nephew’s intimate friend : not but that, in all likelihood, he would have abated somewhat of his hospitality, had he known that he was the brother of Perry’s mistress ; but her name the old gentleman had never thought of asking, when he inquired into the particulars of his godson’s amour. The captive being examined, in presence of Trunnion and all his adherents, touching the ambuscade, owned, that, be. ing in the service of Gam Pickle, he had been prevailed upon, by the solicitations of his master and the curate, to ac¬ company them in their expedition, and undertake the part which he had acted against the stranger, whom he and his PEREGRINE I’ICKLE. 179 employees mistook for Peregrine. In consideration of this frank acknowledgement, and a severe wound he had received in his right arm, they resolved to inflict no other punishment on this malefactor, than to detain him all night in the gar¬ rison, and next morning carry him before a justice of the peace; to whom he repeated all that he had said over night, and, with his own hand subscribed his confession, copies ot which were handed about the neighbourhood, to the un¬ speakable confusion and disgrace of the curate and his pro¬ mising pupil. Meanwhile Trunnion treated the young soldier with un¬ common marks of respect, being prepossessed in his favour by this adventure, which he had so gallantly achieved, as well as by the encomiums that Peregrine bestowed upon his valour and generosity. He liked his countenance, which was bold and hardy, admired his Herculean limbs, and de¬ lighted in asking questions concerning the service he hadseen. The day after his arrival, while the conversation turned on this last subject, the commodore, taking the pipe out of his mouth,— 4 I’ll tell you what brother,’ said he, 6 five-and- forty years ago, when I was third lieutenant of the Warwick man of war, there was a very stout young fellow on board, a subaltern officer of marines ; his name was not unlike your own, d'ye see, being Guntlet, with a G-. I remember he and I could not abide one another at first, because, d’ye see, I was a sailor and he a landman, till we fell in with a French¬ man, whom we engaged for eight glasses, and at length boarded and took. I was the first man that stood on the enemy’s deck, and I should have come scurvily off, d’ye see, if Guntlet had not jumped to my assistance; but we soon cleared ship, and drove them to close quarters, so that they were obliged to strike; and from that day Guntlet and I were sworn brothers as long as he remained on board. He was exchanged into a marching regiment, and what became of him afterwards, Lord in heaven knows ; but this I’ll say of him, whether he be dead or alive, he feared no man that ever wore a head, and was, moreover, a very hearty mess¬ mate.’ r fIIE ADVENTURES OF 186 The stranger's breast glowed at this eulogium, which W3a§ no sooner pronounced, than he eagerly asked if the French ship was not the Diligence ? the commodore replied with a stare, 6 the very same, my lad.’ 6 Then,’ said Gauntlet, 6 the person of whom yoit are pleased to make such honour¬ able mention was my own father.’ 6 The devil he was !’ cried Trunnion, shaking him by the hand, 6 I am rejoiced to see a son of Ned Guntlet in my house.’ This discovery produced a thousand questions, in the course of which the old gentleman learnt the situation of his friend’s family, and discharged innumerable execrations up¬ on the ingratitude and injustice of the ministry, which had failed to provide for the son of such a brave soldier. Nor was his friendship confined to such ineffectual expressions; he that same evening signified to Peregrine a desire of doing something for his friend. This inclination was so much prais¬ ed, encouraged* and promoted by his godson, and even sup¬ ported by his counsellor Hatchway, that our hero w as em¬ powered to present him with a sum of money sufficient to purchase a commission. Though nothing could be more agreeable to Pickle than this permission, he was afraid that Godfrey’s scrupulous dis¬ position would hinder him from subjecting himself to any such obligation ; and therefore proposed that he should be decoyed into his own interest by a feigned story, in conse¬ quence of which he would be prevailed upon to accept of the money, as a debt which the commodore had contracted of his father at sea. Trunnion made wry faces at this ex¬ pedient, the necessity of which he could not conceive, with¬ out calling in question the common sense of Gauntlet, as he took it for granted, that such offers as those were not to be rejected on any consideration whatever. Besides, he could not digest an artifice, by which he himself must own that he had lived so many years, without manifesting the least in¬ tention of doing justice to his creditor! All these objections, however, were removed by the zeal and rhetoric of Peregrine, who represented that it would be impossible to befriend him on any other terms ; that his silence hitherto would be im- PEREGRINE PICKLE* 181 puted to liis want of information, touching the circumstances and condition of his friend ; and that his remembering and insisting upon discharging the obligation, after such an in¬ terval of time, when the whole affair was in oblivion, would be the greatest compliment lie could pay to his own honour and integrity. Thus persuaded, he took an opportunity of Gauntlet’s being alone with him to broach the affair, telling the young man, that his father had advanced a sum of money for him when they sailed together, on account of the mess, as well as to stop the mouth of a clamorous creditor at Portsmouth ; and that the said sum, with interest, amounted to about four hundred pounds, which he would now, with great thankful¬ ness, repay. Godfrey was amazed at this declaration, and, after a considerable pause, replied, that he had never heard his parents mention any such debt; that no memorandum or voucher of it was found among his father’s papers ; and that, in all probability, it must have been discharged long ago, although the commodore, in such a long course of time, and hurry of occupation, might have forgot the re¬ payment ; he therefore desired to be excused from accepting what, in his own conscience, he believed was not his due ; and complimented the old gentleman upon his being so scrupulously just and honourable. The soldier’s refusal, which was matter of astonishment to Trunnion, increased his inclination to assist him ; and, on pretence of acquitting his own character, he urged his bene¬ ficence with such obstinacy, that Gauntlet, afraid of disoblig¬ ing him, was in a manner compelled to receive a draft for the money, for which he subscribed an ample discharge? and immediately transmitted the order to his mother, whom, at the same time, he informed of the circumstances by which they had so unexpectedly gained this accession of fortune. Such a piece of news could not fail of being agreeable to Mrs Gauntlet, who, by the first post, wrote a polite letter of acknowledgement to the commodore, another to her own son, importing, that she had already sent the draft to a 182 THE ADVENTURES OP friend in London, with directions to deposit it in the hands of a certain banker, for the purchase of the first ensigncy to be sold ; and she took the liberty of sending a third to Pere¬ grine, couched in very affectionate terms, with a kind post¬ script, signed by Miss Sophy and his charming Emilia. This affair being transacted to the satisfaction of all con¬ cerned, preparations were set on foot for the departure of our hero, on whom his uncle settled an annuity of eight hundred pounds, being little less than one half of his whole income. By this time, indeed, the old gentleman could easily afford to alienate such a part of his fortune, because he entertain¬ ed little or no company, kept few servants, and was remark- ably plain and frugal in his house-keeping ; Mrs Trunnion being now some years on the wrong side of fifty, her infirmi¬ ties began to increase ; and though her pride had suffered no diminution, her vanity was altogether subdued by her avarice. A Swiss valet de chambre, who had already made the tour of Europe, was hired for the care of Peregrine’s own person. Pipes being ignorant of the French language, as well as otherwise unfit for the office of a fashionable attend¬ ant, it was resolved that he should remain in garrison ; and bis place was immediately supplied by a Parisian lacquey engaged at London for that purpose. Pipes did not seem to relish this disposition of things; and though he made no verbal objections to it, looked remarkably sour at his succes¬ sor upon his first arrival; but this sullen fit seemed gradually to wear off; and long before his master’s departure he had resumed his former tranquillity and unconcern. CHAPTER XXXI. The tico young gentlemen display their talents for gallantry , in the course of which they are involved in a ludicrous cir¬ cumstance of distress , and afterwards take vengeance on the author o f their mishap . Meanwhile our hero and his new friend, together with honest Jack Hatchway, made daily excursions into the PEREGRINE PICKLE. 183 country, visited the gentlemen in the neighbourhood, and frequently accompanied them to the chase ; all three being exceedingly caressed on account of their talents, which could accommodate themselves with great facility to the tempers and turns of their entertainers. The lieutenant was a droll in his way, Peregrine possessed a great fund of sprightliness and good humour, and Godfrey, among his other qualifica¬ tions already recited, sung a most excellent song; so that the company of this triumvirate was courted in all parties, whether male or female ; and if the hearts of our young gen¬ tlemen had not been pre-engaged, they would have met with opportunities in abundance of displaying their address in the art of love: not but that they gave loose to their gal¬ lantry without much interesting their affections, and amused themselves with little intrigues, which, in the opinion of a man of pleasure, do not affect his fidelity to the acknow¬ ledged sovereign of his soul. In the midst of these amusements, our hero received an intimation from his sister, that she should be overjoyed to meet him next day, at five o’clock in the afternoon, at the house of her nurse, who lived in a cottage hard by her fa¬ ther’s habitation, she being debarred from all opportunity of seeing him in any other place by the severity of her mother, who suspected her inclination. He accordinly obeyed the summons, and went at the time appointed to the place of rendezvous, where he met this af¬ fectionate young lady, who, when he entered the room, ran towards him with all the eagerness of transport, flung her arms about his neck, and shed a flood of tears in his bosom before she could utter one word, except a repetition of 4 my dear, dear brotherHe embraced her with all the piety of fraternal tenderness, wept over her in his turn, assured her that this was one of the happiest moments of his life, and kindly thanked her for having resisted the example and dis¬ obeyed the injunctions of his mother’s unnatural aversion. He was ravished to find by her conversation, that she possessed a great share of sensibility and prudent reflection ; for she lamented the infatuation of her parents with the most THE ADVENTURES OF filial regret, and expressed such abhorrence and concern at the villanous disposition of her younger brother, as a humane sister may be supposed to have entertained. He made her acquainted with all the circumstances of his own fortune; and, as he supposed she spent her time very disagreeably at home, among characters which must be shockingly distress¬ ing, professed a desire of removing her into some other sphere, where she could live with more tranquillity and satisfaction* She objected to this proposal, as an expedient that would infallibly subject her to the implacable resentment of her mo¬ ther, whose favour and affection she at present enjoyed but in a very inconsiderable degree ; and they had canvassed divers schemes of corresponding for the future, when the voice of Mrs Pickle was heard at the door. M iss Julia (that was the young lady’s name) finding her¬ self betrayed, was seized with a violent agitation of fear, and Peregrine scarce had time to encourage her with a promise of protection, before the door of the apartment being flung open, this irreconcilable parent rushed in, and, with a fu¬ rious aspect, flew directly at her trembling daughter, when the son interposing, received the first discharge of her fury. Her eyes gleamed with all the rage of indignation, which choked up her utterance, and seemed to convulse her whole frame: she twisted her left hand in his hair, and with the other buffetted him about the face till the blood gushed from his nostrils and mouth ; while he defended his sister from the cruelty of Gam, who assaulted her from another quarter, seeing his brother engaged. This attack lasted several mi¬ nutes with great violence, till at length Peregrine, finding himself in danger of being overpowered, if he should re¬ main any longer on the defensive, laid his brother on his back ; then he disentangled his mother’s hand from his own hair, and, having pushed her gently out of the room, bolted the door on the inside ; finally, turning to Gam, he threw him out at the window, among a parcel of hogs that fed under it. By this time Julia was almost quite distracted with terror; she knew she had offended beyond all hope of for¬ giveness, and from that moment considered herself as an exile PEREGRINE PICKLE. 185 from her father’s house. In vain did her brother strive to console her with fresh protestations of love and protection; she counted herself extremely miserable in being obliged to endure the eternal resentment of a parent with whom she had hitherto lived, and dreaded the censure of the world, which, from her mothers misrepresentation, she was sensible would condemn her unheard. That she might not, however, ne¬ glect any means in her power of averting this storm, she re¬ solved to appease, if possible, her mother’s wrath with hu¬ miliation, and even appeal to the influence of her father, weak as it was, before she would despair of being forgiven. But the good lady spared her this unnecessary application, by telling her, through the key-hole, that she must never expect to come within her father’s door again ; for from that hour she renounced her as unworthy of her affection and regard. Julia, weeping bitterly, endeavoured to soften the rigour of this sentence, by the most submissive and reason¬ able remonstrances ; but as in her vindication she of neces¬ sity espoused her elder brother’s cause, her endeavours, in¬ stead of soothing, served only to exasperate her mother to an higher pitch of indignation, which discharged itself in invectives against Peregrine, whom she reviled with the epi¬ thets of a worthless abandoned reprobate. The youth, hearing these unjust aspersions, trembled with resentment through every limb, assuring the upbraider that he considered her as an object of compassion; 4 for, with¬ out all doubt,’ said he, 4 your diabolical rancour must be severely punished by the thorns of your own conscience, which this very instant taxes you with the malice and false¬ hood of your reproaches. As for my sister, I bless God that you have not been able to infect her with your unnatural prejudice, which, because she is too just, too virtuous, too humane to imbibe, you reject her as an alien to your blood, and turn her out unprovided into a barbarous world. But even there your vicious purpose shall be defeated ; that same Providence that screened me from the cruelty of your hate shall extend its protection to her, until I shall find it con¬ venient to assert by law that right of maintenance which, na- THE ADVENTURES OP 1S0 ture, it seems, hath bestowed upon us in vain. In the mean time, you will enjoy the satisfaction of paying an undivided attention to that darling son, whose amiable qualities have so long engaged and engrossed your love and esteem.’ This freedom of expostulation exalted his mother’s ire to mere frenzy : she cursed him with the bitterest imprecations, and raved like a bedlamite at the door, which she attempted to burst opon. Her efforts were seconded by her favourite son, who denounced vengeance against Peregrine, made fu¬ rious assaults against the lock, which resisted all their ap¬ plications, until our hero, espying,, his friends Gauntlet and Pipes stepping over a stile that stood about a furlong from the window, called them to his assistance; giving them to understand how he was besieged, he desired they would keep off his mother, that he might the more easily secure his sister Julia’s retreat. The young soldier entered accordingly, and, posting himself between Mrs Pickle and the door, gave the signal to his friend, who, lifting up his sister in his arms, carried her safe without the clutches of this she dragon, while Pipes, with his cudgel, kept young master at bay. The mother being thus deprived of her prey, sprung up¬ on Gauntlet like a lioness robbed of her whelps; and he must have suffered sorely in the flesh, had he not prevent¬ ed her mischievous intent by seizing both her wrists, and so keeping her at due distance. In attempting to disengage herself from his grasp, she struggled with such exertion, and suffered such agony of passion at the same time, that she actually fell into a severe fit, during which she was put to bed, and the confederates retired without further molesta¬ tion. In the mean time,Peregrine was not a little perplexed about the disposal of his sister, whom he had rescued. He could not endure the thoughts of saddling the commodore with a new expense; and he was afraid of undertaking the charge of Julia, without his benefactor’s advice and direction ; for the present, however, he caried her to the house of a gentle¬ man in the neighbourhood, whose lady was her godmother, where she was received with great tenderness and condo- PEREGRINE PICKLE. 187 lence; and he proposed to inquire for some creditable house where she might be genteelly boarded in his absence, resol¬ ving to maintain her from the savings of his own allowance, which he thought might very well bear such deduction. But this intention was frustrated by the publication of the whole affair, whih was divulged next day, and soon reached the ears of Trunnion, who chid his godson for having concealed the adventure ; and, with the approbation of his wife, order¬ ed him to bring Julia forthwith to the garrison. The young gentleman, with tears of gratitude in his eyes, explained his design of maintaining her at his own expense, and earnest¬ ly begged that he might not be deprived of that satisfaction. But his uncle was deaf to all his entreaties, and insisted up¬ on her living in the garrison, though for no other reason than that of being company to her aunt, who, he observed, was lost for want of conversation. Julia was accordingly brought home, and settled under the tuition of Mrs Trunnion, who, whatever face she might put on the matter, could have dispensed with the society of her niece; though she was not without hope of gratifying her pique to Mrs Pickle, by the intelligence she would re¬ ceive from the daughter of that lady’s economy and do¬ mestic behaviour. The mother herself seemed conscious of this advantage which her sister-in-law had now gained over her, being as much chagrined at the news of Julia’s recep¬ tion in the garrison as if she had heard of her own hus¬ band’s death. She even tortured her invention to propagate calumnies against the reputation of her own daughter, whom she slandered in all companies ; she exclaimed against the commodore as an old ruffian, who spirited up a rebellion among her children, and imputed the hospitality of his wife, in countenancing them, to nothing else but her inve¬ terate enmity to their mother, whom they had disobliged. She now insisted, in the most peremptory terms, upon her husband’s renouncing all commerce with the old lad of the , O castle and his adherents; and Mr Gamaliel, having by this time contracted other friendships, readily submitted to her will, nay, even refused to communicate with the commodore THE ADVENTURES OF IS8 one night, when they happened to meet by accident at the public house. CHAPTER XXXII. The commodore seiids a challenge to Gamaliel , and is imposed up¬ on by a waggish invention of the lieutenant , Peregrine, and Gauntlet . This affront Trunnion could by no means digest ; he ad¬ vised with the lieutenant upon the subject; and the result of their consultation was a defiance, which the old commander sent to Pickle, demanding that he would meet him at such a place on horseback with a brace of pistols, and give satis¬ faction for the slight he had put upon him. Nothing could have afforded more pleasure to Jack than the acceptance of this challenge, which he delivered verbally to Mr Gamaliel, who was called out from the club at Tunley’s for that purpose. The nature of this message had an instantaneous effect upon the constitution of the pacific Pickle, whose bowels yearned with apprehension, and un¬ derwent such violent agitation on the spot, that one would have thought the operation proceeded from some severe joke of the apothecary, which he had swallowed in his beer. The messenger, despairing of a satisfactory answer, left him in his woeful condition ; and, being loath to lose any opportunity of raising the laugh against the commodore, went immediately and communicated the whole affair to the young gentlemen, entreating them, for the love of God, to concert some means of bringing old Hannibal into the field. The two friends relished the proposal, and, after some deli¬ beration, it was resolved that Hatchway should tell Trun¬ nion his invitation was accepted by Gamaliel, who would meet him at the place appointed, with his second, to-mor¬ row in the twilight, because, if either should fall, the other would have the better chance for escaping in the dark ; that Godfrey should personate old Pickle’s friend, and Peregrine represent his own father, while the lieutenant should fake PEREGRINE PICKLE. 189 care* in loading the pistols, to keep out the shot, so that no damage might be done in the rencounter. These circumstances being adjusted, the lieutenant re¬ turned to his principal with a most thundering reply from his antagonist, whose courageous behaviour, though it could not intimidate, did not fail to astonish the commodore, who ascribed it to the spirit of his wife, which had inspired him. Trunnion that instant desired his counsellor to prepare his cartridge-box, and order the quietest horse in the stable to be kept ready saddled for the occasion: his eye seemed to lighten with alacrity and pleasure at the prospect of smelling gunpowder once more before his death ; and when Jack advised him to make his will, in case of accident, he rejected his counsel with disdain, saying,— c What: dost think that Hawser Trunnion, who has stood the fire of so many floating batteries, runs any risk from the lousy pops of a landman ? thou shalt see, thou shalt see how I shall make him lower his topsails.’ Next day Peregrine and the soldier provided themselves with horses at the public house, from whence, at the destined hour, they rode to the field of battle, each of them being muffled in a great coat, which, with the dimness of the light, effectually shielded them from the knowledge of the one-eyed commander, who having taken horse, on pretence of enjoying the fresh air, soon ap¬ peared with Hatchway in his rear. When they came with¬ in sight of each other, the seconds advanced, in order to divide the ground, and regulate the measures of the com¬ bat ; when it was determined, by mutual consent, that two pistols should be discharged on each side, and that, if neither should prove decisive, recourse must he had to the broad swords, in order to ascertain the victory. These articles being settled, the opponents rode forward to their respec¬ tive stations, when Peregrine, cocking his pistol, and pre¬ senting, counterfeited hi§, father’s voice, bidding Trunnion take care of his remaining eye. The commodore took his advice, being unwilling to hazard his day-light, and very deliberately opposed the patched side of his face to the muz¬ zle of his antagonist’s piece, desiring him to do his duty 190 THE ADVENTURES OP without farther jaw. The young man accordingly fired, and the distance being small, the wad of his pistol took place with a smart stroke on the forehead of Trunnion, who, mis¬ taking it for a ball, which he thought was lodged in his brain, spurred up his steed in a state of desperation towards his an¬ tagonist, and holdingjhis piece within two yards of his body. Jet it off, without any regard to the laws of battle. Sur¬ prised and enraged to see it had made no impression, he hallooed in a terrible tone ,— 4 O damn ye, you have got your netting stuffed, I see and, advancing, discharged his second pistol so near his godson’s head, that, had he not been defended by his great coat, the powder must have scorched his face. Having thus thrown away his fire, he remained at the mercy of Peregrine, who clapping the piece he had in reserve to his head, commanded him to beg his life, and ask pardon for his presumption. The commodore made no reply to this imperious injunction, but dropping his pistol, aud unsheathing his broad sword in an instant, attacked our hero with such incredible agility, that, if he had not made shift to ward off the stroke with his piece, the adventure, in all likelihood, would have turned out a very tragical joke. Peregrine finding it would be in vain for him to think of drawing his weapon, or standing on the defensive against this furious aggressor, very fairly clapped spurs to his nag, and sought his safety in flight. Trunnion pursued him with infinite eagerness, and his steed being the better of the two, would have overtaken the fugitive to his peril, had he not been unfortunately encountered by the boughs of a tree, that happened to stand on his blind side, and incommoded him so much, that he was fain to quit his sword, and lay hold on the mane, in order to maintain his seat. Perry perceiving his disaster, wheeled about, and now finding leisure to produce his weapon, returned upon his disarmed foe, brandishing his ferrara, threatening to make him shorter by the head, if he would not immediately crave quarter and yield. There was nothing farther from the in¬ tention of the old gentleman than such submission, which he flatly refused to pay, alleging that he had already compel- PEREGRINE PICKLE. 191 led his enemy to clap on all his sails, and that his own pre¬ sent misfortune was owing to accident, all one as if a ship should be attacked, after she had been obliged to heave her guns overboard in a storm. Before Peregrine had time to answer this remonstrance, the lieutenant interposed, and taking cognizance of the case, established a truce, until he and the other second should dis¬ cuss and decide upon the merits of the cause. They ac¬ cordingly retired to a small distance, and, after having con¬ ferred a few minutes, Hatchway returned, and pronounced the commodore vanquished by the chance of war. Never was rage more transported than that which took possession of old Hannibal, when he heard the sentence : it was some time before he could utter aught, except the reproachful expression, you lie! which he repeated more than twenty times in a sort of delirious insensibility. When he recovered the further use of speech, he abused the arbi¬ trators with such bitter invectives, renouncing their sentence, and appealing to another trial, that the confederates began to repent of having carried the joke so far ; and Peregrine, in order to appease his choler, owned himself overcome. This acknowledgment calmed the tumult of his wrath, though he could not for some days forgive the lieutenant; and the two young gentlemen rode back to Tunley’s, while Hatchway, taking the commodore’s horse by the bridle, re¬ conducted him to his mansion, growling all the way to Jack for his unjust and unfriendly decree; though he could not help observing, as how he had made his words good, in making his adversary strike his topsails : ‘ and yet,’ said he, 4 before God ! I think the fellow’s head is made of a wool-pack; for my shot rebounded from his face like a wad of spun-yarn from the side of a ship. But if so be that son of a bitch of a tree hadn’t come athwart my weather-bow, d’ye see, I’ll be damn’d if I hadn’t snapt his main-yard in the slings, and mayhap let out his bulge-water into the bar¬ gain.’ He seemed particularly vain of this exploit, which dwelt upon his imagination, and was cherished as the child of his old age; for though he could not with decency rehearse 192 THE ADVENTURES OF it to the young men and his wife at supper, he gave shrewd hints of his own manhood, even at these years, and attested Hatchway as a voucher for his metal; while the triumvi¬ rate, diverted by his vanity, enjoyed in secret the sucess of their imposition. CHAPTER XXXIII. Peregrine takes his leave of his aunt and sister—sets out from the garrison—parts with his uncle and Hatchway on the road , and , with his governor , arrives in safety at Dover . This, however, was the last effort of invention which they practised upon him ; and every thing being now prepared for the departure of his godson, that hopeful youth in two days took leave of all his friends in the neighbourhood. He was closetted two whole hours with his aunt, who enriched him with many pious advices ; recapitulated all the benefits which through her means had been conferred upon him since his infancy ; cautioned him against the temptations of lewd women, who bring many a man to a morsel of bread ; laid strict injunctions upon him to live in the fear of the Lord and the true protestant faith ; to eschew quarrels and contentions ; to treat Mr Jolter with reverence and regard, and, above all things, to abstain from the beastly sin of dunkenness, which exposed a man to the scorn and con¬ tempt of his fellow-creatures, and, by divesting him of rea¬ son and reflection, rendered him fit for all manner of vice and debauchery. She recommended to him economy and the care of his health, bade him remember the honour of his family ; and, in all the circumstances of his behaviour, as¬ sured him, that he might always depend upon the friendship and generosity of the commodore. Finally, presenting him with her own picture set in gold, and a hundred guineas from her privy purse, she embraced him affectionately, and wished him all manner of happiness and prosperity. Being thus kindly dismissed by Mrs Trunnion, he locked himself up with his sister Julia, whom he admonished PEREGRINE PICKLE. 193 cultivate her aunt with the most complaisant and respectful attention, without stooping to any circumstance of sub¬ mission that she should judge unworthy of her practice; he protested, that his chief study should be to make her amends for the privilege she had forfeited by her affection for him ; entreated her to enter into no engagement without his know¬ ledge and approbation : put into her hand the purse which he had received from his aunt, to defray her pocket expenses in his absence, and parted from her not without tears, after she had for some minutes hung about his neck, kissing him, and weeping in the most pathetic silence. Having performed these duties of affection and consan¬ guinity over night, he went to bed, and was, by his own direction, called at four o’clock in the morning, when he found the post-chaise, coach, and riding horses, ready at the gate, his friends Gauntlet and Hatchway on foot, the commodore himself almost dressed, and every servant in the garrison assembled in the yard to wish him a good journey. Our hero shook each of these humble friends by the hand, tipping them at the same time with marks of his bounty ; and w r as very much surprised when he could not perceive his old attendant Pipes among the number. When he ex¬ pressed his wonder at this disrespectful omission of Tom, some of those present ran to his chamber, in order to give him a call, but his hammock and room were both deserted, and they soon returned with an account of his having eloped. Peregrine was disturbed at this information, be¬ lieving that the fellow had taken some desperate course in consequence of his being dismissed from his service, and began to wish that he had indulged his inclination, by re¬ taining him still about his person. However, as there was now no other remedy, he recommended him strenuously to the particular favour and distinction of his uncle and Hatchway, in case he should appear again; and, as he went out of the gate, was saluted with three cheers by all the do¬ mestics in the family. The commodore, Gauntlet, lieutenant. Peregrine, and Jolter, went into the coach together, that they might enjoy each other’s conversation as much as pos» Vol //. N 194 THE ADVENTURES OF sible, resolved to breakfast at an inn upon the road, where Trunnion and Hatchway intended to bid our adventurer farewell; the valet de chambre got into the post-chaise, the French lacquey rode one horse, and led another, one of the valets of the garrison mounted at the back of the coach, and thus the cavalcade set out on the road to Dover. As the commodore could not bear the fatigue of jolting, they tra¬ velled at an easy pace during the first stage, so that the old gentleman had an opportunity of communicating his exhor¬ tations to his godson, with regard to his conduct abroad; he advised him, now that he was going into foreign parts, to be upon his guard against the fair weather of the French politesse, which was no more to be trusted than a whirlpool at sea. He observed, that many young men had gone to Paris with good cargoes of sense, and returned with a great deal of canvas, and no ballast at all, whereby they became crank all the days of their lives, and sometimes carried their keels above water. He desired Mr Jolter to keep his pupil out of the clutches of those sharking priests, who lie in wait to make converts of all young strangers; and, in a particular manner, cautioned the youth against carnal con¬ versation with the Parisian dames, who, he understood, were no better than gaudy fireships, ready primed with death and destruction. Peregrine listened with great respect, thanking him for his kind admonitions, which he faithfully promised to ob¬ serve. They halted and breakfasted at the end of the stage, where Jolter provided himself with a horse, and the com¬ modore settled the method of corresponding with his ne. phew. The minute of parting being arrived, the old com¬ mander wrung his godson by the hand, saying,—‘ I wish thee a prosperous voyage and good cheer, my lad; my tim¬ bers are now a little crazy, d’ye see ; and God knows if 1 shall keep afloat till such a time as I see thee again; but howsomever, hap what will, thou wilt find thyself in a con. dition to keep in the line with the best of thy fellows.’ He then reminded Gauntlet of his promise to call at the garrison iq his return from Dover, and imparted something in g, whis» PEREGRINE PICKLE. 195 per to the governor, while Jack Hatchway, unable to speak, pulled his hat over his eyes, and, squeezing Peregrine by the hand, gave him an iron pistol of curious workmanship, as a memorial of his friendship. Our youth, who was not unmoved on this occasion, received the pledge, which he acknowledged with the present of a silver tobacco-box, bought for that purpose ; and the two lads of the castle getting into the coach, were driven homewards in a state of silent dejection. Godfrey and Peregrine seated themselves in the post- chaise, and Jolter, the valet de chambre,and lacquey, bestrid¬ ing their beasts, they proceeded for the place of their destina¬ tion, at which they arrived in safety that same night, and be¬ spoke a passage in the packet-boat, which was to sail next day. CHAPTER XXXIV. He adjusts the method of his correspondence with Gauntlet— meets by accident with an Italian charlatan , and a certain apothecary , who proves to be a noted character . -There the two friends adjusted the articles of their fu¬ ture correspondence; and Peregrine having written a letter to his mistress, wherein he renewed his former vows of eternal fidelity, it was entrusted to the care of her brother; while Mr Jolter, at the desire of his pupil, provided an elegant supper, and some excellent Burgundy, that they might spend this eve of his departure with the greater en¬ joyment. Things being thus disposed, and a servant employed in laying the cloth, their ears were of a sudden invaded by a strange tumultuous noise in the next room, occasioned by the overthrow of tables, chairs, and glasses, with odd unin¬ telligible exclamations in broken French, and a jargon of threats in the Welch dialect,. Our young gentleman ran immediately into the apartment from whence this clamour seemed to proceed, and found a thin, meagre, swarthy figure, gasping in all the agony of fear, under the hands of a squat, n 2 196 THE ADVENTURES OP thick, hard-featured man, who collared him with great de¬ monstrations of wrath, saying,— e If you was as mighty a magician as Owen Glendower, or the witch of Entor, look you, ay, or as Paul Beor himself, I will make pold, by the assistance of Got, and in his majesty’s naam, to seize and secure, and confine and confront you, until such time as you suffer, and endure, and undergo the pains and penalties of the law, for your diabolical practices. Shentlemens, (added he, turning to our adventurers), I take you to wit¬ ness that I protest, and assert, and avow, that this person is as pig a necromancer as you would desire to pehold ; and I supplicate and beseech and entreat of you, that he may be pro ugh t pefore his petters, and compelled to give an ac¬ count of his compact and commerce with the imps of dark¬ ness, look you; for as 1 am a Christian soul, and hope for joyful resurrection, I have this plessed evening seen him per¬ form such things as could not be done without the aid and instruction and connivance of the tevil.’ Gauntlet seemed to enter into the sentiments of this Welch reformer, and actually laid hold on the delinquent’s shoulder, crying, 6 Damn the rascal! I'll lay any wager that he’s a jesuitj for none of his order travel without a familiar.’ But Peregrine, who looked upon the affair in another point of view, interposed in behalf of the stranger, whom he freed from his aggressors, observing that there was no occasion to use violence, and asked in French what he had done to incur the censure of the informer. The poor foreigner, more dead than alive, answered that lie was an Italian charlatan, who had practised with some reputation in Padua, until he had the misfortune to attract the notice of the inquisition, by exhibiting certain wonderful performances by his skill in natural knowledge, which that tribunal considered as the effects of sorcery, and persecuted him accordingly ; so that he had been fain to make a precipitate retreat into France, where not finding his account in his- talents, he was now arrived in England, with a view of practising his art in Lon¬ don ; and that, in consequence of a specimen which he had given to a company below, the choleric gentleman had PEREGRINE PICKLE. 197 followed him up stairs to his own apartment, and assaulted him in that inhospitable manner. He therefore earnestly begged that our hero would take him under his protection ; and if he entertained the least suspicion of his employing preternatural means in the operations of his art, he would freely communicate all the secrets in his possession. The youth dispelled his apprehension, by assuring him that he was in no danger of suffering for his art in England, where, if ever he should be questioned by the zeal of su¬ perstitious individuals, he had nothing to do but appeal to the next justice of the peace, who would immediately quit him of the charge, and punish his accusers for their imper¬ tinence and indiscretion. He then told Gauntlet and theWelchman that the stranger had a good action against them for an assault, by virtue of an act of parliament, which makes it criminal for any person to accuse another of sorcery and witchcraft, these idle no¬ tions being now justly exploded by all sensible men. Mr Jolter, who had by this time joined the company, could not help signifying his dissent from this opinion of his pupil, which he endeavoured to invalidate by the authority of scripture, quotations from the fathers, and the confession of many wretches who suffered death for having carried on cor¬ respondence with evil spirits, together with the evidence of Satan’s Invisible World, and Morton’s History of Witchcraft. The soldier corroborated these testimonies by facts that had happened within the sphere of his own knowledge ; and, in particular, mentioned the case of an old woman in the parish in which he was born, who used to transform herself into the shapes of sundry animals, and was at last killed by small shot in the character of a hare. The Welchman thus supported, expressed his surprise at hearing that the le¬ gislature had shown such tenderness for criminals of so dark a hue ; and offered to prove, by undeniable instances, that there was not a mountain in Wales which had not been, in his memory, the scene of necromancy and witchcraft :— ‘ Wherefore,’ said he, c I am assuredly more than apove asto¬ nished, and confounded, and concerned, that the parliament 198 THE ADVENTURES OP of Great Pritain should, in their great wisdoms, and their prudence, and their penetration, give countenance and en¬ couragement, look you, to the works of darkness and the empire of Pelzepup: ofer and apove the evidence of holy writ, and those writers who have been quoted by that aggu- rate and learned shentleman, we are informed by profane history, of the pribbles and pranks of the old serpent, in the bortents and oragles of antiquity; as you will find in that most excellent historian Bolypius, and Titus Lifius ; ay, and moreofer in the Commentaries of Julius Csesar himself, who, as the ole world knows, was a most famous, and a most faliant, and a most wise, and a most prudent, and a most fortunate chiftan, and a most renowned orator; ay, and a most elegant writer to boot.’ Peregrine did not think proper to enter the lists of dispute with three such obstinate antagonists; but contented him¬ self with saying, that he believed it would be no difficult matter to impugn the arguments they had advanced, though he did not find himself at all disposed to undertake the task, which must, of course, break in upon the evening’s entertainment. He therefore invited the Italian to supper, and asked the same favour of his accuser, who seemed to have something curious and characteristic in his manner and disposition, resolving to make himself an eye witness of those surprising feats which had given offence to the choleric Briton. This scrupulous gentleman thanked our hero for his courtesy, but declined communicating with the stranger, until his character should be farther explained ; upon which his inviter, after some conversation with the charlatan, as¬ sured him that he would himself undertake for the inno¬ cence of his art; and then he was prevailed upon to favour them with his company. In the course of the conversation, Peregrine learnt that the Welchman was a surgeon of Canterbury, who had been called in to a consultation at Dover, and, understanding that his name was Morgan, took the liberty of asking if he was not the person so respectfully mentioned in the Adventures of lloderick Random. Mr Morgan assumed a look of gravity / PEREGRINE PICKLE. 199 Sind importance at this interrogation, and, screwing up his mouth, answered, * Mr Rantum, my goot Sir, I believe upon my conscience and salfation, is my very goot frient and wellwisher ; and he and I have been companions, and messmates, and fellow sufferers, look you ; but nevertheless, for all that, peradventure he hath not pehaved with so much complaisance and affability and respect, as I might have expected from him; pecause he hath revealed, and tivulged, and published our private affairs, without my knowledge, and privity and consent; but as God is my Saviour, I think he had no evil invention in his pelly : and though there be certain persons, look you, who, as I am told, take upon them to laugh at his descriptions of my person, deport¬ ment, and conversation, I do affirm, and maintain, and insist, with my heart, and my ploot, and my soul, that those persons are no petter than ignorant asses, and that they know not how to discern, and distinguish, and define true ridi¬ cule, or, as Aristotle calls it, the to geloion, no more, look you, than a herd of mountain goats; for I will make pold to observe, and I hope this goot company will be of the same opinion, that there is nothing said of me in that per¬ formance which is unworthy of a Christian and a shentleman. 1 Our young gentleman and his friends acquiesced in the justness of his observation. Peregrine particularly assured him, that, from reading the book, he had conceived the utmost regard and veneration for his character, and that he thought himself extremely fortunate in having this oppor¬ tunity of enjoying his conversation. Morgan, not a little proud of such advances from a person of Peregrine’s ap¬ pearance, returned the compliment with a profusion of ci¬ vility, and, in the warmth of acknowledgment, expressed a desire of seeing him and his company at his house in Can¬ terbury. ‘ I will not pretend, or premise, kind Sir, 1 said he ? ( to entertain you according to your merits and deserts, but you shall be as welcome to my poor cottage, and my wife and family, as the prince of Wales himself; and it shall go hard, if, one way or other, I do not find ways and means of making you confess that there is some good fellowship in I 200 THE ADVENTURES OF an ancient Priton: for though I am no petter than a sim¬ ple apothecary, I have as goot plood circulating in my veins as any he in the country; and I can describe, and deli¬ neate, and demonstrate my pedigree to the satisfaction of the ’ole ’orld; and, moreofer, by Got’s goot providence and assistance, I can afford to treat my friend with a joint of goot mutton, and a pottle of excellent wine ; and no tradesman can peard me with a bill.’ He was congratulated on his happy situation, and assured that our youth would visit him on his return from France, provided he should take Can¬ terbury on his route. As Peregrine manifested an inclina¬ tion of being acquainted with the state of his affairs, he very complaisantly satisfied his curiosity, by giving him to know, that his spouse had left off breeding, after having blessed him with two boys and a girl, who were still alive and well ; that he lived in good esteem with his neighbours, and by his practice, which was considerably extended im¬ mediately after the publication of Roderick Random, had saved some thousand pounds. He had begun to think of re¬ tiring among his own relations in Glamorganshire, though his wife made objections to this proposal, and opposed the execution of it with such obstinacy, that he had been at infinite pains in asserting his own prerogative, by convinc ing her, both from reason and example, that he was king and priest in his own family, and that she owed the most implicit submission to his will. He likewise informed the company, that he had lately seen his friend Roderick, who had come from London on purpose to visit him, after having gained his law-suit with Mr Topehall, who was obliged to pay Narcissa’s fortune ; that Mr Random, in all appearance, led a very happy life in the conversation of his father and bedfellow, by whom he enjoyed a son and daughter; and that Morgan had received, in a present from him, a piece of very fine linen of his wife’s own making, several kits of salmon, and two casks of pickled pork, the most delicate he had ever tasted, together with a barrel of excellent her¬ rings for salmagundy, which he knew to be his favourite dish. PEREGRINE PICKLE. 201 Tills topic of conversation being discussed, the Italian was desired to exhibit a specimen of his art, and in a few mi¬ nutes conducted the company into the next room, where, to their great astonishment and affright, they beheld a thou¬ sand serpents winding along the cieling. Morgan, struck with this phenomenon, which he had not seen before, began to utter exorcisms with great devotion, Mr Jolter ran terri¬ fied out of the room, Gauntlet drew his hanger, and Pere¬ grine himself was disconcerted. The operator perceiving their confusion, desired them to retire, and calling them back in an instant, there was not a viper to be seen. Pie raised their admiration by sundry other performances, and the Welchman’s former opinion and abhorrence of his character began to recur, when, in consideration of the civility with which he had been treated, this Italian imparted to them all the methods by which he had acted such wonders, that were no other than the effects of natural causes curiously com¬ bined ; so that Morgan became a convert to his skill, asked pardon for the suspicion he had entertained, and invited the stranger to pass a few days with him at Canterbury. The scruples of Godfrey and Jolter were removed at the same time, and Peregrine testified his approbation by a handsome gratuity which be bestowed upon their entertainer. The evening being spent in this sociable manner, every man retired to his respective chamber; and next morning they breakfasted together, when Morgan declared he would stay till he should see our hero fairly embarked, that he might have the pleasure of Mr Gauntlet’s company to his own habitation: meanwhile, by the skipper’s advice, the servants were ordered to carry a store of wine and provision on board, in case of accident; and as the packet-boat could not sail before one o’clock, the company walked up hill to visit the castle, where they saw the sword of Julius Caesar, and Queen Elizabeth’s pocket pistol, repeated Shakespeare’s description, while they surveyed the chalky cliffs on each side, and'cast their eyes towards the city of Calais, that was obscured by a thick cloud, which did not much regale their eye-sight, because it seemed to portend foul weather. 202 THE ADVENTURES OF Having reviewed every thing remarkable in this place, they returned to the pier, where, after the compliments of parting, and an affectionate embrace between the two young gentlemen, Peregrine and his governor stepped aboard, the sails were hoisted, and they went to sea with a fair wind, while Godfrey, Morgan, and the conjuror, walked back to the inn, from whence they set out for Canterbury before dinner. CHAPTER XXXV. He embarks for France—is overtaken by a storm—is surprised with the appearance of Pipes—lands at Calais , and has an affray with the officers of the customhouse. Scarce had the vessel proceeded two leagues on the pass¬ age, when the wind shifting, blew directly in their teeth ; so that they were obliged to haul upon a wind, and alter their course. The sea running pretty high at the same time, our hero, who was below in his cabin, began to be squeamish, and, in consequence of the skipper’s advice, went upon the deck for the comfort of his stomach j while the governor, experienced in these disasters, slipt into bed, where he lay at his ease, amusing himself with a treatise on the cycloid, with algebraical demonstrations, which never failed to engage his imagination in the most agreeable manner In the meantime the wind increased to a very hard gale, the vessel pitched with great violence, the sea washed over the decks, the master was alarmed, the crew were confound* ed, the passengers were overwhelmed with sickness and fear, and universal distraction ensued. In the midst of this uproar, Peregrine holding fast by the taffrill, and looking ruefully ahead, the countenance of Pipes presented itself to his as¬ tonished view, rising as it were from the hold of the ship. At first he imagined it was a fear-formed shadow 1 ' of his ow r n brain, though he did not remain long in this terror, but plainly perceived that it was no other than the real person of Thomas, who, jumping on the quarter-deck, took charge of the helm, and dictated to the sailors with as much authority as if he had been commander of the ship. The skipper PEREGRINE PICKLE. §03 looked upon him as an angel sent to his assistance, and the crew soon discovering him to be a thorough-bred seaman, notwithstanding his livery frock, obeyed his orders with such alacrity, that in a little time the confusion vanished, and every necessary step was taken to weather the gale. Our young gentleman immediately conceived the mean¬ ing of Tom’s appearance on board, and, when the tumult was a little subsided, went up, and encouraged him to exert himself for the preservation of the ship, promising to take him again into his service, from which he should never be dismissed, except at his own desire. This assurance had a surprising effect upon Pipes, who, though he made no man¬ ner of reply, thrust the helm into the master’s hand, saying, 6 Here, you old bumboat woman, take hold of the tiller, and keep her thus, boy, thus ;’ and skipped about the vessel, trimming the sails, and managing the ropes with such agility and skill, that everybody on deck stood amazed at his dex¬ terity. Mr Jolter was far from being unconcerned at the uncom¬ mon motion of the vessel, the singing of the wind, and the uproar which he heard above him; he looked towards the cabin-door with the most fearful expectation, in hope of seeing some person who could give some account of the weather, and what was doing upon deck; but not a soul appeared, and he was too well acquainted with the disposition of his own bowels to make the least alteration in his attitude. When he had lain a good while in all the agony of suspense, the boy tumbled headlong into his apartment, with such noise, that he believed the mast had gone by the board, and starting upright in his bed, asked, witli all the symptoms of horror, what was the cause of that disturbance. The boy, half stunned by his fall, answered, in a dolorous tone, c Pin come to put up the dead-lights.’ At the mention of dead¬ lights, the meaning of which he did not understand, the poor governor’s heart died within him, and he shivered with despair. His recollection forsaking him, he fell upon his knees in the bed, and fixing bis eyes upon the book which was in his hand, began to pronounce aloud, with great fer- 204 THE ADVENTURES OP vour, 4 The time of a complete oscillation in the cycloid is to the time in which a body would fall through the axis of the cycloid VD, as the circumference of a circle to its dia¬ meter.' He would in all likelihood have proceeded with the demonstration of this proposition, had he not been seized with such a qualm, as compelled him to drop the book, and accommodate himself to the emergency of his distemper; he therefore stretched himself at full length, and, putting up ejaculations to heaven, began to prepare himself for his latter end, when all of a sudden the noise above was intermitted; and, as he could not conceive the cause of this tremendous silence, he imagined that either the men w^ere washed over¬ board, or that, despairing of safety, they had ceased to op¬ pose the tempest. While he was harrowed by this miser¬ able uncertainity, which, however, was not altogether unen¬ lightened by some scattered rays of hope, the master entered the cabin; then he asked, with a voice half extinguished by fear, how matters went upon deck ; and the skipper, with a large bottle of brandy applied to his mouth, answered, in a hollow tone, 4 All’s over now, master.’ Upon which, Mr Jolter, giving himself over for lost, exclaimed, with the utmost horror, 4 Lord have mercy upon us! Christ have mercy upon us P and repeated this supplication as it were mechanically, until the master undeceived him by explain¬ ing the meaning of what he had said, and assuring him that the squall was over. Such a sudden transition from fear to joy occasioned a violent agitation both in his mind and body ; and it was a full quarter of an hour before he recovered the right use of his organs. By this time the weather cleared up, the wind began to blow again from the right corner, and the spires of Calais appeared at the distance of five leagues ; so that the countenances of all on board were lighted up with joy¬ ous expectation; and Peregrine venturing to go down into the cabin, comforted his governor with an account of the happy turn of their affairs. Jolter, transported with the thoughts of a speedy landing, began to launch out in praise of that country for which i PEREGRINE PICKLE. 205 they were bound. He observed, that France was the land of politeness and Hospitality, which were conspicuous in the behaviour of all ranks and degress, from the peer to the pea¬ sant ; that a gentleman and a foreigner, far from being in¬ sulted and imposed upon by the lower class of people, as in England, was treated with the utmost reverence, candour, and respect; that their fields were fertile, their climate pure and healthy, their farmers rich and industrious, and the subjects in general the happiest of men. He would have prosecuted this favourite theme still farther, had not his pupil been obliged to run upon deck, in consequence of cer¬ tain warnings he received from his stomach. The skipper seeing his condition, very honestly reminded him of the cold ham and fowls, with a basket of wine, which he had ordered to be sent on-board, and asked if he would have the cloth laid below. He could not have chosen a more seasonable opportunity of manifesting his own disinterested¬ ness. Peregrine made wry faces at the mention of food, bid¬ ding him (for Christ’s sake) talk no more on that subject. He then descended into the cabin, and put the same ques¬ tion to Mr Jolter, who, he knew, entertained the same ab¬ horrence for his proposal; and, meeting with the like recep¬ tion from him, went between decks, and repeated his cour¬ teous proffer to the valet de chamhre and lacquey, who lay sprawling in all the pangs of a double evacuation, and re¬ jected his civility with the most horrible loathing. Thus baffled in all his kind endeavours, he ordered his boy to secure the provision in one of his own lockers, according to the custom of the ship. It being low water when they arrived on the French coast, the vessel could not enter the harbour, and they were obliged to bring to, and wait for a boat, which in less than half an hour came along-side from the shore. Mr Jolter now came upon deck, and snuffing up the French air with symptoms of infinite satisfaction, asked of the boatmen (with the friendly appellation of mes enfans) what they demanded for transporting him and his pupil, with their baggage, to the pier. But how was he disconcerted when those polite THE ADVENTURES OP 20 a candid, reasonable watermen, demanded a louis d’or for that service ! Peregrine, with a sarcastic sneer, observed, that he already began to perceive the justice of his encomiums on the t rench ; and the disappointed governor could say no¬ thing in his own vindication, but that they were debauched by their intercourse with the inhabitants of Dover. His pupil, however, was so much offended at their extortion, that he absolutely refused to employ them, even when they abated one half in their demand, and swore he would stay on board till the packet should be able to enter the harbour rather than encourage such imposition. 'Ihe master, who, in all probability, had some sort of fel¬ low-feeling with the boatmen, in vain represented, that he could not with safety lie to, or anchor upon a lee-shore; our hero having consulted Pipes, answered, that he had hired his vessel to transport them to Calais, and that he would oblige him to perform what he had undertaken. T.he skipper, very much mortified at this peremptory re¬ ply, which was not over and above agreeable to Mr Jolter, dismissed the boat, notwithstanding the solicitations and condescension of the watermen. Running a little farther in ^hore, they came to an anchor, and waited till there was water enough to float them over the bar. Then they stood into the harbour, and our gentleman, with his attendants and baggage, were landed on the pier by the sailors, whom be liberally rewarded for their trouble. He was immediately plied by a great number of porters, who, like as many hungry wolves, laid hold on his baggage, and began to carry it off piecemeal, without his order & or direction. Incensed at this officious insolence, he command¬ ed them to desist, with many oaths and opprobrious terms, that his anger suggested ; and, perceiving that one of them did not seem to pay any regard to what he said, but marched off with his burden, he snatched a cudgel out of his lacquey’s iiand, and, overtaking the fellow in a twinkling, brought him (o the ground with one blow. He was instantly surrounded by the whole congregation of this canaille , who resented the injury which their brother had sustained, and would have PEREGRINE PICKLE. 207 taken immediate satisfaction of the aggressor, had not Pipes, seeing his master involved, brought the whole crew to his assistance, and exerted himself so manfully, that the enemy were obliged to retreat with many marks of defeat, and me¬ naces of interesting the commandant in their quarrel. Jol- ter, who knew and dreaded the power of the French gover¬ nor, began to shake with apprehension, when he heard their repeated threats ; but they durst not apply to this ma¬ gistrate, who, upon a fair representation of the case, would have punished them severely for their rapacious and insolent behaviour. Peregrine, without further molestation, availed himself of his own attendants, who shouldered his baggage, and followed him to the gate, where they were stopped by the centinels, until their names should be registered. Mr Joiter, who had undergone this examination before, resolved to profit by his experience, and cunningly repre¬ sented his pupil as a young English lord. This intimation, supported by the appearance of his equipage, was no sooner communicated to the officer, than he turned out the guard, and ordered his soldiers to rest upon their arms, while his lordship passed in great state to the Lion tVArgent , where he took up his lodgings for the night, resolving to set out for Paris next morning in a post-chaise. The governor triumphed greatly in this piece of com¬ plaisance and respect with which they had been honoured, and resumed his beloved topic of discourse, in applauding the method and subordination of the French government, which was better calculated for maintaining order, and pro¬ tecting the people, than any constitution upon earth. Of their courteous attention to strangers, there needed no other proof than the compliment which had been paid to them, together with the governor’s connivance at Peregrine’s em¬ ploying his own servants in carrying the baggage to the inn, contrary to the privilege of the inhabitants. While he expatiated, with a remarkable degree of self-in¬ dulgence on this subject, the valet de chambre coming into the room, interrupted his harangue, by telling his master that their trunks and portmanteaus must be carried to the 208 THE ADVENTURES OF custom-house, in order to be searched, and sealed with lead, which must remain untouched until their arrival at Paris. Peregrine made no objection to this practice, which was in itself reasonable enough ; but when he understood that the gate was besieged by another multitude of porters, who in¬ sisted upon their right of carrying the goods, and also of fix¬ ing their own price, he absolutely refused to comply with their demand. Nay, lie chastised some of the most clamor¬ ous among them with his foot, and told them, that if their custom-house officers had a mind to examine his baggage, they might come to the inn for that purpose. The valet de chambre was abashed at this boldness of his master's behavi¬ our, which, the lacquey, shrugging up his shoulders, observ¬ ed, was bien a VAngloise ; while the governor represented it as an indignity to the whole nation, and endeavoured to per¬ suade his pupil to comply with the custom of the place. But Peregrine's natural haughtiness of disposition hindered him from giving ear to Jolter’s wholesome advice ; and, in less than half an hour, they observed a file of musqueteers march¬ ing up to the gate. At sight of this detachment the tutor trembled, the valet grew pale, and the lacquey crossed him¬ self; but our hero, without exhibiting any other symptoms than those of indignation, met them on the threshold, and, with a ferocious air, demanded their business. The corpo¬ ral, who commanded the file, answered with great delibera¬ tion, that he had orders to convey his baggage to the cus¬ tom house ; and seeing trunks standing in the entry, placed his men between them and the owner, while the porters that followed took them up, and proceeded to the Douane with¬ out opposition. Pickle was not mad enough to dispute the authority of this message; but, in order to gall, and specify his contempt for those who brought it, he called aloud to his valet, desiring him, in French, to accompany his things, and see that none of his linens and effects should be stolen by the searchers. The corporal, mortified at this satirical insinuation, darted a look of resentment at the author, as if he had been interested for the glory of his nation, and told him that he could per- PEREGRINE PICKLE. 209 \ ceive he was a stranger in France, or else he would have saved himself the trouble of such a needless precaution. CHAPTER XXXVI. He makes a fruitless attempt in gallantry—departs for Bou¬ logne , where he spends the evening with certain English exiles Having thus yielded to the hand of power, he inquired if there was any other English company in the house ; when, understanding that a gentleman and lady lodged in the next apartment, and had bespoke a post-chaise for Paris, he or¬ dered Pipes to ingratiate himself with their footman, and, if possible, learn their names and condition, while he and Mr Joker, attended by the lacquey, took a turn round the ram¬ parts, and viewed the particulars of the fortification. Tom was so very successful in his inquiry, that, when his master returned, he was able to give him a satisfactory aC’ count of his fellow-lodgers, in consequence of having treated his brother with a bottle of wine. The people in question were a gentleman and his lady lately arrived from England, in their way to Paris. The husband was a man of good for¬ tune, who had been a libertine in his youth, and a professed declaimer against matrimony. He wanted neither sense nor experience, and piqued himself in particular upon his art of avoiding the snares of the female sex, in which he pretended to be deeply versed. Rut notwithstanding all his caution and skill, he had lately fallen a sacrifice to the attractions of an oyster wench, who had found means to decoy him into the bands of wedlock ; and, in order to avoid the compli¬ ments and congratulations of his friends and acquaintance, he had come so far on a tour to Paris, where he intended to initiate his spouse in the beau monde. In the mean time he chose to live upon the reserve, because her natural talents had as yet received but little cultivation ; and he had not the most implicit confidence in her virtue and discretion, which, Vol. //. # 210 THB ADVENTURES OP “t seems, had like to have yielded to the addresses of an of¬ ficer at Canterbury, who had made shift to insinuate him¬ self into her acquaintance and favour. Peregrine’s curiosity being inflamed by this information, he lounged about the yard, in hopes of seeing the Dulcinea who had captivated the old bachelor ; and, at length, ob¬ serving her at a window, took the liberty of bowing to her with great respect. She returned the compliment with a courtesy, and appeared so decent in her dress and manner, that, unless he had been previously informed of her former life and conversation, he never would have dreamed that her education was different from that of other ladies of fashion: so easy is it to acquire that external deportment on which people of condition value themselves so much. Not but that Mr Pickle pretended to distinguish a certain vulgar audacity in her countenance, which, in a lady of birth and fortune, would have passed for an agreeable vivacity that enlivens the aspect, and gives poignancy to every feature: but as she pos¬ sessed a pair of fine eyes, and a clear complexion overspread with the glow of health, which never fails of recommending the owner, he could not help gazing at her with desire, and, forming the design of making a conquest of her heart. With this view he sent his compliments to her husband, whose name was Hornbeck, with an intimation that he pro¬ posed to set out next day for Paris, and as he understood that he was resolved upon the same journey, he should be ex¬ tremely glad of his company on the road, if he was not bet¬ ter engaged. Hornbeck, who in all probability did not chuse to accommodate his wife with a squire of our hero’s appearance, sent a civil answer to his message, professing infinite mortification at his being unable to embrace the fa¬ vour of his kind offer, by reason of the indisposition of his wife, who, he was afraid, would not be in a condition for some days to bear the fatigue of travelling. This rebuff, which Peregrine ascribed to the husband’s jealousy, stifled his project in embryo; he ordered his French servant to take a place for himself in the diligence, where all his luggage was stowed,, except a small trunk with some linen and other no PEREGRINE PICKLE- 211 cessaries, that was fixed upon the post-chaise, which they hir¬ ed of the landlord; and early next morning he and Mr Jol- ter departed from Calais, attended by his valet de chambre and Pipes on horseback. They proceeded without any ac¬ cident as far as Boulogne, where they breakfasted, and vi¬ sited old Father Graham, a Scottish gentleman of the go¬ vernor’s acquaintance, who had lived as a capuchin in that place for the space of threescore years, and during that period conformed to all the austerities of the order with the most rigorous exactness ; being equally remarkable for the frank¬ ness of his conversation, the humanity of his disposition, and the simplicity of his manners. From Boulogne they took their departure about noon, and, as they proposed to sleep that night at Abbeville, commanded the postilion to drive with extraordinary speed. Perhaps it was well for his cattle that the axletree gave way, and the chaise of course overturned, before they had travelled one third part of the stage. This accident compelled them to return to the place from whence they had set out; and as they could not procure an¬ other conveyance, they found themselves under the necessity of staying till their chaise could be refitted. Understanding that this operation would detain them a whole day, our young gentleman had recourse to his patience, and demanded to know what they would have for dinner; the garcon, or waiter, thus questioned, vanished in a moment, and immediately they were surprised with the appearance of a strange figure, which, from the extravagance of its dress and gesticulation, Pere¬ grine mistook for a madman of the growth of France. This phantom (which, by the bye, happened to be no other than the cook), was a tall, long-legged, meagre, swarthy fellow, that stooped very much ; his cheek bones were remarkably raised, his nose bent into the shape and size of a powder- horn, and the sockets of his eyes as raw round the edges as if the skin had been pared off. On his head he wore a hand¬ kerchief, which had once been white, and now served to co¬ ver the upper part of a black periwig, to which was attached a bag, at least a foot square, with a solitaire and rose that stuck up on each side to his ear ; so that he looked like a o 2 212 THE ADVENTURES OP criminal on the pillory. His back was accommodated with a linen waistcoat, his hands adorned with long ruffles of the same piece, his middle was girded by an apron tucked up, that it might not conceal his white silk stockings rolled ; and at his entrance he brandished a bloody weapon full three feet in length. Peregrine, when he first saw him approach in this menacing attitude,put himself upon his guard ; a but, being in¬ formed of his quality, perused his bill of fare, and having be¬ spoke three or four things for dinner, walked out with Mr Jolter to view both towns, which they had not leisure to con¬ sider minutely before. In their return from the harbour, they met with four or five gentlemen, all of whom seemed to look with an air of dejection, and, perceiving our hero and his go¬ vernor to be English by their dress, bowed with great respect as they passed. Pickle, who was naturally compassionate, felt an emotion of sympathy ; and seeing a person, who by his habit he judged to be one of their servants, accosted him in English, and asked who the English were. The lacquey gave him to understand that they were his own countrymen, exiled from their native homes, in consequence of their ad¬ herence to an unfortunate and ruined cause ; and that they were gone to the sea-side, according to their daily practice, in order to indulge their longing eyes with a prospect of the white cliffs of Albion, which they must never more approach. Though our young gentleman differed widely from them in point of political principles, he was not one of those en¬ thusiasts who look upon every schism from the established articles of faith as damnable, and exclude the sceptic from every benefit of humanity and Christian forgiveness: he could easily comprehend how a man of the most unblemished mo¬ rals might, by the prejudice of education, or indispensable attachments, be engaged in such a blameworthy and perni¬ cious undertaking ; and thought that they bad already suf¬ fered severely for their imprudence. He was affected with the account of their diurnal pilgrimage to the sea-side, which he considered as a pathetic proof of their affliction, and in¬ vested Mr Jolter with the agreeable office of goinor to them v-ith a compliment in his name, and begging the honour o t PEREGRINE PICKLE. 213 drinking a glass with them in the evening. They accepted the proposal with great satisfaction and respectful acknow¬ ledgment, and in the afternoon waited upon the kind inviter, who treated them with coffee, and would have detained them to supper; but they entreated the favour of his company at the house which they frequented, so earnestly, that he yield¬ ed to their solicitations, and with'his governor was conduct¬ ed by them to the place, where they had provided an elegant repast, and regaled them with some of the best claret in France. It was easy for them to perceive that their principal guest was no favourer of their state maxims, and therefore they industriously avoided every subject of conversation which could give the least offence; not but that they lamented their own situation, which cut them off from all their dearest con¬ nections, and doomed them to perpetual banishment from their families and friends; but they did not, even by the most distant hint, impeach the justice of that sentence by which they were condemned; although one of them, who seemed to be about the age of thirty, wept bitterly over this misfortune, which had involved a beloved wife and three children in misery and distress, and, in the impatience of his grief, cursed his own fate with frantic imprecations. His companions, with a view of beguilinghis sorrows, and mani¬ festing their own hospitality at the same time, changed the topic of discourse, and circulated the bumpers with great as¬ siduity ; so that all their cares were overwhelmed and for- V gotten; several drinking French catches were sung,and mirth and good fellowship prevailed. In the midst of this elevation, which commonly unlocks the most hidden sentiment, and dispels every consideration of caution and constraint, one of the entertainers, being more intoxicated than his fellows, proposed a toast, to which Peregrine with some warmth excepted, as an unmannerly insult. The other maintained his proposition with indecent heat; and the dispute beginning to grow very serious, the company interposed, and gave judgment against their friend, who was so keenly reproached and rebuked for his impolite behaviour, that he retired in high dudgeon, threaten!fng to * O O' " 214 TIIE ADVENTURES OF relinquish their society, and branding them with the appella¬ tion of apostates from the common cause. Mortified at the' behaviour of their companion, those that remained were ear¬ nest in their apologies to their guests, whom they besought to forgive his intemperance, assuring them, with great con¬ fidence, that he would, upon the recovery of his reflection, wait upon them in person, and ask pardon for the umbrage he had given. Pickle was satisfied with their remonstrances, resumed his good humour, and the night being pretty far advanced, resisted all their importunities with which he was intreated to see another bottle go round, and was escorted to his own lodgings more than half seas over. Next morning, about eight o’clock, he was waked by his valet de chambre, who told him that two of the gentlemen with whom he had spent the evening were in the house, and desired the favour of being admitted into his chamber. He could not conceive the meaning of this extraordinary visit, and, ordering his man to show them into his apartments, beheld the person who had affronted him enter, with the gentleman who had reprehended his rudeness. He who had given the offence, after having made an apo¬ logy for disturbing Mr Pickle, told him that his friend there present had been with him early that morning, and propo¬ sed the alternative of either fighting with him immediately^ or coming to beg pardon for his unmannerly deportment over night; that, though he had courage enough to face any man in the field in a righteous cause, he was not so brutal as to disobey the dictates of his own duty and reflec¬ tion, in consequence of which, and not out of any regard to the other’s menaces, which he despised, he had now taken the liberty of interrupting his repose, that he might, as soon as possible atone for the injury he had done him, which he protested was the effect of intoxication alone, and begged his forgiveness accordingly. Our hero accepted of his ac¬ knowledgment very graciously, thanked the other gentle¬ man for the gallant part he had acted in his behalf; and per¬ ceiving that his companion was a little irritated at his offi¬ cious interposition, effected a reconciliation, by convincing PEREGRINE PICKLE. 215 him that what he had done was for the honour of the com¬ pany. He then kept them to breakfast, expressed a desire of seeing their situation altered for the better; and, the chaise being repaired, took leave of his entertainers, who came to wish him a good journey, and with his attendants left Boulogne for the second time. CHAPTER XXXVII. Proceed for the capital—takes up his lodgings at Bernay , where he is overtaken by Mr Hornbeck , whose head he longs to fortify . During this day’s expedition, Mr Jolter took an opportu¬ nity of imparting to his pupil the remarks he had made upon the industry of the French, as an undeniable proof of which he bade him cast his eyes around, and observe with what care every spot of ground was cultivated ; and from the fertility of that province, which is reckoned the poorest in France, conceive the wealth and affluence of the nation in general. Peregrine, amazed as well as disgusted at this in¬ fatuation, answered, that what he ascribed to industry was the effect of mere wretchedness ; the miserable peasants being obliged to plough up every inch of ground to satisfy their oppressive landlords, while they themselves and their cattle looked like so many images of famine; that their extreme poverty was evident from the face of the country, on which there was not one inclosure to be seen, or any other object, except scanty crops of barley and oats, which could never reward the toil of the husbandman; that their habitations were no better than paltry huts; that, in twenty miles of extent, not one gentleman’s house appeared; that nothing was more abject and forlorn than the attire of their country people; that the equipage of their travelling chaises was infinitely inferior to that of a dung-carton England; and that the postilion who then drove their carriage, had nei¬ ther stockings to his legs, nor a shirt to his back. The governor, finding his charge so untractable, resolve to leave him in the midst of his own ignorance and prejudice. 216 THE ADVENTURES OP and reserve his observations for those who would pay more deference to his opinion; and indeed this resolution he had often made, and as often broken, in the transports of his zeal, that frequently hurried him out of the plan of conduct which in his cooler moments he had laid down. They halted for a refreshment at Montreuil, and about seven in the even¬ ing arrived at a village called Bernay, where, while they wait¬ ed for fresh horses, they were informed by the landlord, that the gates of Abbeville were shut every night punctually at eight o’clock, so that it would be impossible for them to get admittance. He said there was not another place of enter¬ tainment on the road where they could pass the night; and therefore, as a friend, he advised them to stay at his house, where they would find the best of accommodation, and pro¬ ceed upon their journey betimes in the morning. Mr Jolter, though he had travelled on that road before, could not recollect whether or not mine host spoke truth; but his remonstrance being very plausible, our hero determined to follow his advice, and, being conducted into an apart¬ ment, asked what they could have for supper. The land¬ lord mentioned every thing that was eatable in the house, and the whole being engrossed for the use of him and his attendants, lie amused himself till such time as it should be dressed, in strolling about the house, which stands in a very rural situation. While he thus loitered away the time that hung heavy on his hands, another chaise arrived at the inn ; and, upon inquiry, he found that the new-comers were Mr Hornbeck and his lady. The landlord, conscious of his in¬ ability to entertain this second company, came and begged, with great humiliation, that Mr Pickle would spare them some part or the victuals he had bespoke ; but he refused to part with so much as the wing of a partridge, though at the same time he sent his compliments to the strangers, and, giving them to understand how ill the house was provided for their reception, invited them to partake of his supper. Mr Hornbeck, who was not deficient in point of politeness, and extremely well disposed for a relishing meal, which he had reason to expect, from the savoury steam that issued from PEREGRINE PICKLfi. 217 the kitchen, could not resist this second instance of our young gentleman’s civility, which he acknowledged by a message, importing that he and his wife would do themselves the pleasure of profiting by his courteous offer. Peregrine’s cheeks glowed when he found himself on the eve of being acquainted with Mrs Hornbeck, of whose heart lie had already made a conquest in imagination ; and he forthwith set his invention at work to contrive some means of defeating her husband’s vigilance. When supper was ready, he in person gave notice to his guest, and leading the lady into his apartment, seated her in an elbow chair at the upper end of the table, squeezing her hand, and darting a most insidious glance at the same time. This abrupt behaviour he practised, on the presumption that a lady of her breeding wasnotto be addressed with the tedious forms that must be observed in one’s advances to a person of birth and genteel education. In all probability his calculation was just ; for Mrs Hornbeck gave no signs of discontent at this sort of treatment, but, on the contrary, seemed to consi¬ der it as a proof of the young gentleman’s regard; and though she did not venture to open her mouth three times during the whole repast, she showed herself particularly well satis¬ fied with her entertainer, by sundry sly and significant looks, while her husband’s eyes were directed another way, and divers loud peals of laughter, signifying her approbation of the sallies which he uttered in the course of their conversa¬ tion. Her spouse began to be very uneasy at the frank de¬ meanour of his yoke-fellow, whom he endeavoured to check in her vivacity, by assuming a severity of aspect; but whe¬ ther she obeyed the dictates of her own disposition, which perhaps was merry and unreserved, or wanted to punish Mr Hornbeck for his jealousy of temper, certain it is, her gaiety increased to such a degree, that her husband was grievously alarmed and incensed at her conduct, and resolved to make her sensible of his displeasure, by treading in secret upon her toes. He was, however, so disconcerted by his indigna¬ tion, that he mistook his mark, and applied the sharp heel of liis shoe to the side of Mr Joker’s foot, comprehending 218 THE ADVENTURES OV his little toe that was studded with an angry corn, which he invaded with such a sudden jerk, that the governor, un¬ able to endure the torture in silence, started up, and, dancing on the floor, roared hideously, with repeated bellow- ings, 'to the unspeakable enjoyment of Peregrine and the lady, who laughed themselves almost into convulsions at the joke. Hornbeck, confounded at the mistake he had committed, begged pardon of the injured tutor, with great contrition, protesting that the blow he had so unfortunately received was intended for an ugly cur which he thought had posted himself under the table. It was lucky for him that there was actually a dog in the room, to justify this excuse, which Jolter admitted with the tears running over his cheeks; and the economy of the table was recomposed. As soon, however, as the strangers could with decency withdraw, this suspicious husband took hisleave of the vouth, on pretence of being fatigued with his journey, after having, by way of compliment, proposed that they should travel to¬ gether next day ; and Peregrine handed the lady to her chamber, where he wished her good night, with another warm squeeze, which she returned. This favourable hint made his heart bound with a transport of joy ; he lay in wait for an opportunity of declaring himself; and seeing the husband go down into the yard with a candle, glided softly into his apartment, where he found her almost undressed. Impelled by the impetuosity of his passion, which was still more inflamed by her present luscious appearance, and en- eouiaged by the approbation she had already expressed, he ran towards her with eagerness, crying, 4 Zounds, madam, } charms are irresistible!’ and, without further ceremonv, would have clasped her in his arms, had she not begged him, foi the love of God, to retire, for should Mr Hornbeck re¬ turn and find him there, she would be undone for ever. He was not so blinded by his passion, but that he saw the reason¬ ableness of her fear ; and as he could not pretend to crown his wishes at that interview, he avowed himself her lover, as¬ sured her that he would exhaust his whole invention in find* ing a proper opportunity for throwing himself at her feet; peregrine pickle. 219 and in the mean time he ravished sundry small favours, which she, in the hurry of her fright, could not withhold from his impudence of address. Having thus happily settled the pre¬ liminaries, he withdrew to his own chamber, and spent the whole night in contriving stratagems to elude the jealous caution of his fellow-traveller. CHAPTER XXXVIII. They set out in company, breakfast at Abbeville , dine at Amiens, and about eleven o'clock arrive at Chantilly , where Peregrine executes a plan which he had concerted upon Hornbeck . The whole company, by agreement, rose and departed before day, and breakfasted at Abbeville, where they became acquainted with the finesse of their Bernay landlord, who had imposed upon them, in affirming that they would not have been admitted after the gates were shut. From thence they proceeded to Amiens, where they dined, and were pes¬ tered by begging friars ; and the roads being deep, it was eleven o’clock at night before they reached Chantilly, where they found supper alradey dressed, in consequence of having dispatched the valet de chambre before them on horseback. The constitution of Hornbeck being very much impaired by a life of irregularity, he found himself so fatigued with his day’s journey, which amounted to upwards of an hun¬ dred miles, that, when he sat down at table, he could scarcely sit upright; and, in less than three minutes, began to nod in his chair. Peregrine, who had foreseen and provided for this occasion, advised him to exhilarate his spirits with a glass of wine; and the proposal being embraced, tipped his valet de chambre the wink, who, according to the instruc¬ tions he had received, qualified the Burgundy with thirty drops of laudanum, which this unfortunate husband swal¬ lowed in one glass. The dose, co-operating with his former ^drowsiness, lulled him so fast asleep, as it were instantane¬ ously, that it was found necessary to convey him to his own chamber, where his footman undressed and put him to bed, 220 THE ADVENTURES OP Nor was Jolter (naturally of a sluggish disposition) able to resist his propensity to sleep, without suffering divers dread¬ ful yawns, which encouraged his pupil to administer the same does to him, which had operated so successfully upon the other Argus. This cordial had not such a gentle effect upon the rugged organs of Jolter, as upon the more delicate nerves of Hornbcck, but discovered itself in certain involuntary startings, and convulsive motions in the muscles of his face ; and when his nature at length yielded to the power of this medicine, he sounded the trumpet so loud through his nos¬ trils, that our adventurer was afraid the noise would wake his other patient, and consequently prevent the accomplish¬ ment of his aim. The governor was therefore committed to the care of Pipes, who lugged him into the next room, and having stripped off his clothes, tumbled him into his nest- while the two lovers remained at full liberty to indulge their mutual passion. Peregrine, in the impatience of his inclination, would have finished tlie fate of Hornbeck immediately ; but his inamorata disapproved of his intention, and represented that their being together by themselves for any length of time would be observed by her servant, who was kept as a spy upon her actions ; so that they had recourse to another scheme, which was executed in this manner.—He conducted her into her own apartment, in presence or her footman, who lighted them thither, and, wishing her good rest, re¬ turned to his own chamber, where he waited till every thing w r as quiet in the house; than stealing softly to her door, which had been left open for his admission in the dark, he found the husband still secure in the embraces of sleep, and the lady in a loose gown, ready to seal his happiness. He conveyed her to his own chamber; but bis guilty passion was not gratified. Ihe opium which had been given to Jolter, together with the wine he had drank, produced such a perturbation in his fancy, that he was visited with horrible dreams, and, among other miserable situations, imagined himself in danger of perishing in the flames, whi&h he thought had taken hold peregrine pickle. 221 on his apartment. This vision made such an impression upon his faculties, that he alarmed the whole house with the repeated cries of fire! fire ! and even leaped out of his bed, though he still continued fast asleep. The lovers were very disagreeably disturbed by this dreadful exclamation ; and Mrs Hornbeck, running in great confusion to the door, had the mortification to see the footman, with a light in his hand, enter her husband’s chamber, in order to give him notice of this accident. She knew that she would be in¬ stantly missed, and could easily divine the consequence, un¬ less her invention could immediately trump up some plau¬ sible excuse for her absence. Women are naturally fruitful of expedients in cases of such emergency: she employed but a few seconds in recol¬ lection, and rushing directly towards the apartment of the governor, who still continued to holoo in the same note, ex¬ claimed, in a screaming tone, 4 Lord have mercy upon us ! where ? where By this time all the servants were assembled in strange attire; Peregrine burst into Joker’s room, and seeing him stalking in his shirt, with his eyes shut, bestowed such a slap upon bis back, as in a moment dissolved his dream, and restored him to the use of his senses. He was astonished and ashamed at being discovered in such an in¬ decent attitude ; and taking refuge under the clothes, asked pardon of ail present for the disturbance he had occasioned ; soliciting with great humility the forgiveness of the lady, who, to a miracle, conterfeited the utmost agitation of terror and surprise. Meanwhile, Hornbeck being awakened by the repeated efforts of his man, no sooner understood that his wife was missing, than all the chimeras of jealousy taking possession of his imagination,he started up in a sort of frenzy, and snatching his sword, flew straight to Peregrine’s charn^ her ; where, though he found not that which he looked for ? he unluckily perceived an under-petticoat, which his wife had forgot in the hurry of her retreat. This discovery add¬ ed fuel to the flame of his resentment. Pie seized the fatal proof of his dishonour, and meeting his spouse in her return to bed, presented it to her view, saying, with a most express- 222 THE ADVENTURES OF sive countenance, 6 Madam, you have dropped your un¬ der-petticoat in the next room. 1 Mrs Hornbeck, who in¬ herited from nature a most admirable presence of mind, looked earnestly at the object in question, and, with incre¬ dible serenity of countenance, affirmed that the petticoat must belong to the house, for she had none such in her pos¬ session. Peregrine, who walked behind her, hearing this as¬ severation, immediately interposed, and pulling Hornbeck by the sleeve into his chamber, ‘ Gads zooks I 1 said lie, e what business had you with that petticoat ? Can’t you let a young fellow enjoy a little amour with an innkeeper’s daughter, without exposing his infirmities to your wife ? Pshaw ! it is malicious, because you have quitted these adventures your¬ self, to spoil the sport of other people.’ The poor husband was so confounded at the effrontery of his w r ife, and this ca¬ valier declaration of the young man, that his faith began to waver: he distrusted his own conscious diffidence of temper, which, that he might not expose, he expressed no doubts of Peregrine’s veracity, but, asking pardon for the mistake lie had committed, retired. He was not yet satisfied with the behaviour of his ingenious helpmate, but, on the contrary, determined to inquire more minutely into the circumstances of this adventure, which turned out so little to his satisfaction, that he ordered his servant to get every thing ready for his departure by break of day ; and when our adventurer rose next morning, he found that his fellow-travellers were gone above three hours, though they had agreed to stay all the forenoon, with a view of seeing the Prince of Conde’s palace, and to proceed altogether for Paris in the afternoon. Peregrine was a little chagrined w T hen he understood that he was so suddenly deprived of this untasted morsel; and Jolter could not conceive the meaning of their abrupt and uncivil disappearance, which, after many profound conjec¬ tures, he accounted for, by supposing that Hornbeck was some sharper who had run away with an heiress, whom he found it necessary to conceal from the inquiry of her friends. The pupil, who was well assured of the true motive, al¬ lowed his governor to enjoy the triumph of his own penetra- PEREGRINE PICKLE* 223 tion, and consoled himself with the hope of seeing his dul- cinea again at some of the public places in Paris, which he proposed to frequent. Thus comforted, he visited the mag¬ nificent stables and palace of Chantilly, and immediately after dinner they set out for Paris, where they arrived in the evening, and hired apartments at a hotel in the fauxburgh St Germaine, not far from the playhouse. CHAPTER XXXIX. lie is involved in an adventure at Paris , and taken prisoner by the city-guard—becomes acquainted with a French noble - man , who introduces him in the beau monde. They were no sooner settled in these lodgings than our hero wrote to his uncle an account of their safe arrival, and sent another letter to his friend Gauntlet, with a very tender billet inclosed for his dear Emilia, to whom he repeated all his former vows of constancy and love. The next care that engrossed him was that of bespeaking several suits of clothes suitable to the French mode, and in the mean time he never appeared abroad, except in the Eng¬ lish coffeehouse, where he soon became acquainted with some of his own countrymen, who were at Paris on the same foot¬ ing with himself. The third evening after his journey, he was engaged in a party of those young sparks, at the house of a noted traiteur, wdiose wife was remarkably handsome, and otherwise extremely well qualified for alluring customers to her house. To this lady our young gentleman w r as intro¬ duced as a stranger fresh from England ; and he was charm¬ ed with her personal accomplishments, as well a§ with the freedom and gaiety of her conversation. Her frank deport¬ ment persuaded him that she was one of those kind creatures who granted favours to the best bidder ; on this supposition he began to be so importunate in his addresses, that the fair bourgeoise was compelled to cry aloud in defence of her own virtue. Her husband ran immediately to her assistance, and, finding her in a very alarming situation, flew upon her ra- visher with such fury, that he was fain to quit his prey, and 224 THE ADVENTURES OP turn against tlie exasperated traiteur, whom he punished without mercy for his impudent intrusion. The lady seeing her yoke-fellow treated with so little respect, espoused his cause, and fixing her nails in his antagonist’s face, scarified all one side of his nose. The noise of this encounter brought - O all the servants of the house to the rescue of their master, and Peregrine’s company opposing them, a general battle ensued, in which the French were totally routed, the wife insulted, and the husband kicked down stairs. The publican, enraged at the indignity which had been offered to him and his family, went out into the street, and implored the protection of the guet, or city-guard, which having heard his complaint, fixed their bayonets and sur¬ rounded the door, to the number of twelve or fourteen. The young gentlemen, flushed with their success, and considering the soldiers as so many London watchmen, whom they had often put to flight, drew their swords, and sallied out, with Peregrine at their head. Whether the guard respected them as foreigners,or inexperienced youths intoxicated with liquor, they opened to right and left, and gave them room to pass without opposition. This complaisance, which was the effect of compassion,being misinterpreted by the English leader,he, out of mere wantonness, attempted to trip up the heels of the soldier that stood next him, but failed in the execution, and received a blow on his breast with the but end of his fusil, that made him stagger several paces backward. Incensed at this audacious application, the whole company charged the detachment sword in hand, and, after an obstinate en¬ gagement, in which divers wounds were given and received, every soul of them was taken, and conveyed to the main- guard. The commanding officer, being made acquainted with the circumstances of the quarrel, in consideration of their youth and national ferocity, for which the French make large allowances, set them all at liberty, after having gently rebuked them for the irregularity and insolence of their con¬ duct: so that all our hero acquired by his gallantry and courage, was a number of scandalous marks upon his visage, that confined him a whole week to his chamber. It wasim- peregrine pickle. 225 possible to eoneeal this disaster from Mr Jolter, who having obtained intelligence of the particulars, did not fail to re¬ monstrate against the rashness of the adventure, which, he observed, must have been fatal to them, had their enemies been other than Frenchmen, who, of all people under the sun, most rigorously observe the laws of hospitality. As the governor’s acquaintance lay chiefly among Irish and English priests, and a set of low people who live by making themselves necessary to strangers, either in teaching the French language, or executing small commissions with which they are intrusted, he was not the most proper person in the world for regulating the taste of a young gentleman who travelled for improvement, in expectation of making a figure one day in his own country. Being conscious of his own incapacity, he contented himself with the office of a steward, and kept a faithful account of all the money that was disbursed in the course of their family expense ; not but that he was acquainted with all the places which were visited by strangers on their first arrival at Paris ; and he knew to a hard what was commonly given to the Swiss of each re¬ markable hotel; though, with respect to the curious paint¬ ings and statuary that everywhere abound in that metropo¬ lis, he was more ignorant than the domestic that attends for a livre a-day. In short, Mr Jolter could give a very good account of the stages on the road, and save the expense of Antonini’s detail of the curiosities in Paris ; he was a connoisseur in ordinaries, from twelve to five-and-thirty livres, knew all the rates of a fiacre and remise, could dispute with a taileur or a traiteur upon the articles of his bill, and scold the servants in tole¬ rable French. But the laws, customs, and genius of the people, the characters of individuals, and scenes of polished life, were subjects which he had neither opportunities to ob¬ serve, inclination to consider, nor discernment to distinguish. All his maxims were the suggestions of pedantry and pre¬ judice; so- that his perception was obscured, his judgment biassed, his address awkward, and his conversation absurd and unentertaining; vet, such as I have represented this tutor, VoL 1L p 226 THE ADVENTURES OP is the greatest part of those animals who lead raw boys about the world, under the denomination of travelling governors. Peregrine, therefore, being perfectly well acquainted with the extent of Mr Jolter s abilities, never dreamed of consulting him in the disposition of his conduct, but parcelled out his time according to the dictates of his own reflection, and the information and direction of his companions, who had lived longer in France, and consequently were better acquainted with the pleasures of the place. xAs soon as he was in a condition to appear a la Francoise , he hired a genteel chariot by the month, made the tour of the Luxembourg gallery, Palais Royal, all the remarkable hotels, churches, and celebrated places in Paris; visited St Cloud, Marli, Versailles, Trianon, St Germaine, and Fountainbleau; enjoyed the opera, masquerades, Italian and French comedy; and seldom failed of appearing in the public walks, in hopes of meeting with Mrs Hornbeck, or some adventure suited to his romantic disposition. He never doubted that his person would attract the notice of some distinguished inamorata, and was vain enough to believe that few female hearts were able to resist the artillery of his accomplishments, should he once find on opportunity of planting it to advantage. He pre¬ sented himself, however, at all the spectacles for many weeks, without reaping the fruits of his expectation ; and began to entertain a very indifferent idea of the French discernment, which had overlooked him so long, when one day, in his way to the opera, his chariot was stopped by an embarrass in the street, occasioned by two peasants, who, having driven their carts against each other, quarrelled, and went to loggerheads on the spot. Such a rencounter is so uncommon in France, that the people shut up their shops, and from their windows threw cold water upon the combatants, with a view of putting an end to the battle, which was maintained with great fury and very little skill, until one of them receiving an accidental fall, the other took the advantage of .this misfortune, and fastening upon him as he lay, began to thump the pave¬ ment with his head. Our hero’s equipage being detained close by the field of this contention, Pipes could not bear to PEREGRINE PICKLE. 227 see the laws of boxing so scandalously transgressed^nd^eap- Ing from his station, pulled the offender from his antagonist, whom he raised up, and, in the English language, encou¬ raged to a second essay, instructing him at the same time by clenching his fists according to art, and putting himself in a proper attitude. Thus confirmed, the enraged carman sprung upon his foe, and, in all appearance, would have effectually revenged the injury he had sustained, if he had not been prevented by the interposition of a lacquey belong¬ ing to a nobleman, whose coach was obliged to halt in con¬ sequence of the dispute. This footman, who was distinguish¬ ed by a cane, descending from his post, without the least ce¬ remony or expostulation, began to employ his weapon upon the head and shoulders of the peasant who had been patron¬ ised by Pipes ; upon which Thomas resenting such ungene¬ rous behaviour, bestowed such a stomacher upon the officious intermeddler, as discomposed the whole economy of his en¬ trails, and obliged him to discharge the interjection ah ! with demonstrations of great anguish and amazement. The other two footmen, who stood behind the coach, seeing their fellow- servant so insolently assaulted, flew to his assistance, and rained a most disagreeable shower upon the head of his ag¬ gressor, who had no means of diversion or defence. Pere¬ grine, though he did not approve of Tom’s conduct, could not bear to see him so roughly handled, especially as he thought his own honour concerned in the fray, and therefore quitting his machine, came to the rescue of his attendant, and charged his adversaries sword in hand. Two of them nosooner perceived thisreinforcement than they betook them¬ selves to flight; and Pipes, having twisted the cane out of the hands of the third, belaboured him so unmercifully, that our hero thought proper to interpose his authority in his be¬ half. The common people stood aghast at this unprecedent¬ ed boldness of Pickle, who, understanding that the person whose servants he had disciplined was a general and prince of the blood, went up to the coach, and asked pardon for what he had done, imputing his own behaviour to his ig¬ norance of the other’s quality. The old noblemen accept* p 2 228 THE ADVENTURES OF ed of his apology with great politeness, thanking him for the trouble he had taken to reform the manners of his do¬ mestics ; and guessing from our youth’s appearance, that he was some stranger of condition, very courteously invited him into the coach, on the supposition that they were both go¬ ing to the opera. Pickle gladly embraced this opportunity of becoming acquainted with a person of such rank, and, ordering his own chariot to follow, accompanied the count to his loge, where he conversed with him during the whole entertainment. He soon perceived that Peregrine was not deficient in spirit or sense ; and seemed particularly pleased witli his en¬ gaging manner and easy deportment, qualifications for which the English nation is by no means remarkable in France, and therefore the more conspicuous and agreeable in the character of our hero, whom the nobleman carried home that same evening, and introduced to his lady, and several persons of fashion, who supped at his house. Peregrine was quite captivated by their affable behaviour and the vivacity of their discourse ; and after having been honoured with particular marks of consideration, took his leave, fully de¬ termined to cultivate such a valuable acquaintance. His vanity suggested, that now the time was come when he should profit by his talents among the fair sex, on whom lie resolved to employ his utmost art and address. With this view he assiduously engaged in all parties to which he had access by means of his noble friend, who let slip no op¬ portunity of gratifving his ambition. He, for some time, shared in all his amusements, and was entertained in many of the best families of France; but he did not long enjoy that elevation of hope, which had flattered his imagination. He soon perceived that it would be impossible to maintain the honourable connections he had made,without engaging every day at quadrille, or, in other words, losing his money ; for every person of rank, whether male or female, was a pro¬ fessed gamester, who knew and practised all the finesse of the art, of which he was entirely ignorant. Besides, he be¬ gan to find himself a mere novice in French gallantry, which PEREGRINE PICKLE. is supported by an amazing volubility of tongue, art obse¬ quious and incredible attention to trifles, a surprising facili¬ ty of laughing out of pure complaisance, and a nothingness of conversation, which he could never attain. In short, our hero, who, among his own countrymen, would have passed for a sprightly entertaining fellow, was considered, in the brilliant assemblies of France, as a youth of a very phleg¬ matic disposition. No wonder, then, that his pride was mor¬ tified at his own want of importance, which he did not fail to ascribe to their defect in point of judgment and taste ; he conceived a disgust at the mercenary conduct, as well as the shallow intellects of the ladies; and, after he had spent some months, and a round sum of money, in fruitless attendance and addresses, he fairly quitted the pursuit, and consoled himself with the conversation of a merry Jille dejoie , whose good graces he acquired by an allowance of twenty iouis per month. That he might the more easily afford this expense, he dismissed his chariot and French lacquey at the same time. He then entered himself in a noted academy, in order to finish his exercises, and contracted an acquaintance with a few sensible people, whom he distinguished at the coffee¬ house and ordinary to which he resorted, and who contri¬ buted not a little to the improvement of his knowledge and taste; for, prejudice apart, it must be owned that France abounds with men of consummate honour, profound saga¬ city, and the most liberal education. From the conversa¬ tion of such, he obtained a distinct idea of their govern¬ ment and constitution; and though he could not help ad¬ miring the excellent order and economy of their police, the result of all his inquiries was self-congratulation on his title to the privileges of a British subject. Indeed this invalua¬ ble birthright was rendered conspicuous by such flagrant occurrences, which fell every day almost under his observa¬ tion, that nothing but the grossest prejudice could dispute its existence. 230 THE ADVENTURES OF CHAPTER XL. Acquires a distinct idea of the French government-—quarrels with a mousquetaire , whom he afterwards fights and van¬ quishes, after having punished him for interfering in his amorous recreations . A Among many other instances of the same nature, I believe it will not be amiss to exhibit a few specimens of their ad¬ ministration, which happened during his abode at Paris, that those who have not the opportunity of observing lor themselves, or are in danger of being influenced by misre¬ presentation, may compare their own condition with that of their neighbours, and do justice to the constitution under which they live. A lady of distinguished character having been lampooned by some obscure scribbler, who could not be discovered, the ministry, in consequence of her complaint, ordered no fewer than five-and-twenty abbes to be apprehended and sent to the Bastile, on the maxim of Herod, when he commanded the innocents to be murdered, hoping that the principal ob¬ ject of his cruelty would not escape in the general calamity ; and the friends of those unhappy prisoners durst not even • complain of the unjust persecution, but shrugged up their shoulders, and, in silence, deplored their misfortune, uncer¬ tain whether or not they should ever set eyes on them again. About the same time a gentleman of family? who had been oppressed by a certain powerlul duke that lived in the neighbourhood, found means to be introduced to the king, who receiving his petition very graciously, asked in what regiment he served; and, when the memorialist answered, that he had not the honour of being in the service, returned the paper unopened, and refused to hear one circumstance of his complaint; so that, far from being redressed, he remain¬ ed more than ever exposed to the tyranny of his oppressor. Nay, so notorious is the discouragement of all those who presume to live independent of court favour and connections, that one of the gentlemen, whose friendship Peregrine culti¬ vated, frankly owned he was in possession of a most roman- PEREGRINE PICKLE# 231 tic place in one of the provinces, and deeply enamoured of a country life ; and yet he durst not reside upon his own estate, lest, by slackening in his attendance upon the great, who honoured him with their protection, he should fall a prey to some rapacious intendant. As for the common people, they are so much inured to the scourge and insolence of power, that every shabby sub¬ altern, every beggarly cadet of the noblesse, every low re¬ tainer to the court, insults and injures them with impunity. A certain ecuyer, or horse-dealer, belonging to the king, being one day under the hands of a barber, who happened to cut the head of a pimple on his face, he started up, and drawing his sword, wounded him desperately in the shoulder. The poor tradesman, hurt as he was, made an effort to retire- and was followed by this barbarous assassin, who, not con¬ tented with the vengeance he had taken, plunged his sword a second time into his body, and killed him on the spot. Having performed this inhuman exploit, he dressed himself with great deliberation, and, going to Versailles, immediate¬ ly obtained a pardon for what he had done ; triumphing in his brutality with such insolence, that the very next time he had occasion to be shaved, he sat with his sword rea¬ dy drawn, in order to repeat the murder, in case the barber should commit the same mistake. Yet so tamed are those poor people to subjection, that when Peregrine mentioned this assassination to his own trimmer, with expressions of horror and detestation, the infatuated wretch replied, that without all doubt it was a misfortune, but it proceeded from the gentleman’s passion ; and observed, by way of encomium on the government, that such vivacity is never punished in France. A few days after this outrage was committed, our youth, who was a professed enemy to all oppression, being in one of the first loges at the comedy, was eye-witness of an ad¬ venture, which filled him with indignation.-—A tall fero¬ cious fellow in the parterre, without the least provocation, but prompted by the mere wantonness of pride, took hold of the hat of a very decent young man, who happened to 232 THE ADVENTURES OF stand before him, and twirled it round upon his head. The party thus offended turned to the aggresser, and civilly ask¬ ed the reason of such treatment, but he received no answer; and when he looked the other way, the insult was repeat¬ ed ; upon which he expressed his resentment as became a man of spirit, and desired the offender to walk out with him. No sooner did he thus signify his intention, than his adversary, swelling with rage, cocked his hat fiercely in his face, and fixing his hands in his sides, pronounced, with the most imperious tone,— fi Hark ye, Mr Round Periwig, you must know that I am a mousquetaire.’’ Scarce had this awful word escaped from his lips, wheli the blood forsook the lips of the poor challenger, who, with the most abject submission, begged pardon for his presumption, and with difficulty obtained it, on condition that he should immedi¬ ately quite the place. Having thus exercised his authority, he turned to one of his companions, and, with an air of dis¬ dainful ridicule, told him he was like to have had an affair with a burgeois; adding, by way of heightening the irony, * Egad, I believe he’s a physician.’ Our hero was so much shocked and irritated at this licen¬ tious behaviour, that he could not suppress his resentment, which he manifested by saying to this Hector,— 4 Sir, a phy¬ sician may be a man of honour.’ To this remonstrance, which was delivered with a very significant countenance, the mousquetaire made no other reply, but that of echoing his assertion with a loud laugh, in which he was joined by his confederates. Peregrine, glowing with resentment, called him a fanfaron , and withdrew in expectation of being fol¬ lowed into the street. The other understood the hint, and a rencounter must have ensued, had not the officer of the guard, who overheard what passed, prevented their meeting by putting the mousquetaire immediately under arrest. Our young genntleman waited at the door of the parterre, until lie was informed of this interposition, and then went home very much chagrined at his disappointment; for he was an utter stranger to fear and diffidence on those occasions, and had set his heart upon chastising the insolence of this bully, who had treated him with such disrespect. PEREGRINE PICKLE. 233 This adventure was not so private but that it reached the ears of Mr Jolter, by the canal of some English gentle¬ men who were present when it happened ; and the governor, who entertained a most dreadful idea of the mousquetaires, being alarmed at a quarrel, the consequence of which might be fatal to his charge, waited on the British ambassador, and begged he would take Peregrine under his immediate protection. His excellency having heard the circumstances of the dispute, sent one of his gentlemen to invite the youth to dinner; and, after having assured him that he might de¬ pend upon his countenance and regard, represented the rash¬ ness and impetuosity of his conduct so much to his convic¬ tion, that he promised to act more circumspectly for the future, and drop all thoughts of the mousquetaire from that moment. A few days after he had taken this laudable resolution. Pipes, who had carried a billet to hismistress, informed him that he had perceived a laced hat lying upon a marble slab in her apartment; and that, when she came out of her own chamber, to receive the letter, she appeared in mani¬ fest disorder. From these hints of intelligence, our young gentleman suspected, or rather made no doubt of her infidelity ; and, being by this time well nigh cloyed with possession, was not sorry to find that she had given him cause to renounce her correspondence. That he might therefore detect her in the very breach of duty, and, at the same time, punish the gallant who had the presumption to invade his territories, lie concerted with himself a plan, which was executed in this manner.—During his next interwiew with his Dulcinea, far from discovering the least sign of jealousy or discontent, he affected the appearance of extraordinary fondness ; and, after having spent the afternoon with the show of uncom¬ mon satisfaction, told her he was engaged in a party for Fountainbleau, and would set out from Paris that same evening ; so that he should not have the pleasure of seeing her again for some days. The lady, who was very well versed in the arts of her oc- 234 THE ADVENTURES OP cupation, pretended to receive this piece of news with great affliction, and conjured him, with such marks of real tender¬ ness, to return as soon as possible to her longing arms, that he went away almost convinced of her sincerity. Determin¬ ed, however, to prosecute his scheme, he actually departed from Paris with two or three gentlemen of his acquaintance, who had hired a remise for a jaunt to Versailles ; and, having accompanied them as far as the village of Passe, re¬ turned in the dusk of the evening on foot. He waited patiently till midnight, and then arming him¬ self with a case of pocket pistols, and attended by trusty Tom, with a cudgel in his hand, repaired to the lodgings of his suspected inamorata. Having given Pipes his cue, he knocked gently at the door, which was no sooner opened by the lacquey, than he bolted in, before the fellow could re¬ collect himself from the confusion occasioned by his unex¬ pected appearance; and, leaving Tom to guard the door, ordered the trembling valet to light him up stairs into his lady’s apartment. The first object that presented itself to his view, when he entered the antichamber, was a sword upon the table, which he immediately seized, exclaiming in aloud and menancing voice, that his mistress was false, and then in bed with another gallant, whom he would instantly put to death. This declaration, confirmed by many terrible oaths, he calculated for the hearing of his rival, who, understand¬ ing his sanguinary purpose, started up in great trepidation, and, naked as lie was, dropped from the balcony into the street, while Peregrine thundered at the door for admittance; and guessing his design, gave him an opportunity of mak¬ ing this precipitate retreat. Pipes, who stood centinel at the door, observing the fugitive descend, attacked him with his cudgel, and sweating him from one end of the street to the other, at last committed him to the guet, by whom he was conveyed to the officer on duty in a most disgraceful and deplorable condition. Meanwhile, Peregrine having burst open the chamber door, found the lady in the utmost dread and consternation, and the spoils of her favourite scattered about the room ; PEREGRINE PICKLE. 235 but his resentment was doubly gratified, when he learnt, upon inquiry, that the person who had been so disagreeably interrupted, was no other than that individual mousquetaire, with whom he had quarrelled at the comedy. He upbraided the nymph with her perfidy and ingratitude, and, telling her that she must not expect the continuance of his re¬ gard, or the appointments which she had hitherto enjoyed from his bounty, went home to his own lodgings, overjoyed at the issue of the adventure. The soldier, exasperated at the disgrace he had under¬ gone, as well as at the outrageous insult of the English va¬ let, whom he believed his master had tutored for the pur¬ pose, no sooner extricated himself from the opprobrious si¬ tuation he had incurred, than, breathing vengeance against the author of the affront, he came to Peregrine’s apartment, and demanded satisfaction upon the ramparts next morning before sun-rise. Our hero assured him, he would not fail to pay his respects to him at the time and place appointed ; and, foreseeing that he might be prevented from keeping this engagement by the officious care of his governor, who saw the mousquetaire come in, he told Mr Jolter, that the Frenchman had visited him in consequence of an order he bad received from his superiors, to make an apology for his rude behavior to him in the playhouse, and that they bad parted good friends. This assurance, together with Pickle’s very tranquil and unconcerned behaviour through the day, quieted the terrors which had begun to take posses¬ sion of his tutor’s imagination ; so that the youth had an opportunity of giving him the slip at night, when he be¬ took himself to the lodgings of a friend, whom he engaged as his second, and with whom he immediately took the field, in order to avoid the search which Jolter, upon miss¬ ing him, might set on foot. This was a necessary precaution ; for, as he did not ap¬ pear at supper, and Pipes, who usually attended him in his excursions, could give no account of his motions, the gover¬ nor was dreadfully alarmed at his absence, and ordered his man to run in quest of his master to all the places which he THE ADVENTURES OF 23G used to frequent, while he himself went to the commissaire, and, communicating his suspicions, was accommodated with a party of the horse guards, who patroled round all the en¬ virons of the city, with a view of preventing the rencoun¬ ter. Pipes might have directed them to the lady, by whose information they could have learnt the name and lodging of the mousquetaire, and, if he had been apprehended, the duel would not have happened ; but he did not chuse to run the risk of disobliging his master, by intermeddling in the affair, and was moreover very desirous that the French¬ man should be humbled; for he never doubted that Pere¬ grine was more than a match for any two men in France. In this confidence, therefore, he sought his master with great diligence, not with a view of disappointing his atten¬ tion, but in order to attend him to the battle, that he might stand by him and see justice done. While this inquiry was carried on, our hero and his com¬ panion concealed themselves among some weeds that grew on the edge of the parapet, a few yards from the spot where lie had agreed to meet the mousquetaire ; and scarce had the morning rendered objects distinguishable, when they per¬ ceived their men advancing boldly to the place. Peregrine, seeing them approach, sprung forward to the ground, that he might have the glory of anticipating his antagonist; and, swords being drawn, all four were engaged in a twinkling. Pickle’s eagerness had well nigh cost him his life; for, without minding his footing, he flew directly to his oppo¬ site, and stumbling over a stone, was wounded on one side of his head, before he could recover his attitude. Far from being dispirited at this check, it served only to animate him the more; being endowed with uncommon agility, he re¬ trieved his posture in a moment, and, having parried a se¬ cond thrust, returned the longe with such incredible speed, that the soldier had not time to resume his guard, but was immediately run through the bend of his right arm, and the sword dropping out of his hand, our heroes victory was complete. Having dispatched his own business, and received the PEREGRINE PICKLE. •237 acknowledgment of his adversary, who, with a look of infi¬ nite mortification, observed, that his was the fortune of the day, he ran to part the seconds, just as the weapon was twisted out of Ills companion’s hand : upon which he took his place, and, in all likelihood, an obstinate dispute would have ensued, had they not been interrupted by the guard, at sight of whom the two Frenchmen scampered off. Our young gentleman and his friend allowed themselves to be taken prisoners by the detachment, which had been sent out for that purpose, and were carried before the magistrate, who, having sharply reprimanded them for presuming to act in contempt of the laws, set them at liberty, in considera¬ tion of their being strangers, cautioning them, at the same time, to beware of such exploits for the future. When Peregrine returned to his own lodgings. Pipes, seeing the blood trickling down upon his master’s neck-cloth and solitaire, gave evident tokens of surprise and concern, not for the consequences of the wound, which he did not suppose dangerous, but for the glory of Old England, which he was afraid had suffered in the engagement; for he could hot help saying, with an air of chagrin, as he fellowed the youth into his chamber, 6 I do suppose as how you gave that lubberly Frenchman as good as he brought.’ CHAPTER XLI. Mr Jolter threatens to leave him on account of his misconduct, which he promises to rectify—hut his resolution is defeated by the impetuosity of his passions—he meets accidentally with Mrs Ilornheck, who dopes with him from her husband , but is restored by the interposition of the British ambassador . 1 hough Mr Jolter was extremely well pleased at the safe¬ ty of his pupil, he could not forgive him for the terror and anxiety he had undergone on his account; and roundly told him, that, notwithstanding the inclination and attachment he had to his person, he would immediately depart for England, if ever he should hear of his beins: involved in such another adventure; for it could not be expected that he would 238 THE ADVENTUHES OF sacrifice his own quiet to an unrequited regard for one who seemed determined to keep him in continued uneasiness and apprehension. To this declaration Pickle made answer, that Mr Jolter, by this time, ought to be convinced of the attention he had always paid to his ease and satisfaction ; since he well knew, that he had ever looked upon him in the light of a friend, rather than as a counsellor or tutor, and desired his company in France, with a view of promoting his interest, not for any emolument he could expect from his instruction. This being the case, he was at liberty to consult his own inclinations, with regard to going or staying; though he could not help owning himself obliged by the concern he expressed for his safety, and would endeavour, for his own sake, to avoid giving; him any cause of disturbance in time to come. O O j No man was more capable of moralizing upon Peregrine’s misconduct than himself; his reflections were extremely just and sagacious, and attended with no other disadvantage but that of occurring too late. He projected a thousand salu¬ tary schemes of deportment, but, like other projectors, he never had interest enough with the ministry of his passions to bring any one of them to bear. He had, in the heyday of his gallantry, received a letter from his friend Gauntlet, with a kind postscript from his charming Emilia : but it arrived at a very unseasonable juncture, when his imagina¬ tion was engrossed by conquests that more agreeably flat¬ tered his ambition ; so that he could not find leisure and inclination, from that day, to honour the correspondence which he himself had solicited. His vanity had by this time disapproved of the engagement he had contracted in the rawness and inexperience of youth ; suggesting, that he was born to make such an important figure in life as ought to raise his ideas above the consideration of any such middling connections, and fix his attention upon objects of the most sublime attraction. These dictates of ridiculous pride had almost effaced the remembrance of his amiable mistress, or at least so far warped his morals and integrity, that he ac¬ tually began to conceive hopes of her altogether unworthy of his own character and her deserts. peregrine pickle. 239 Meanwhile, being destitute of a toy for the dalliance of his idle hours, he employed several spies, and almost every day made a tour of the public places in person, with a view of procuring intelligence of Mr Hornbeck, with whose wife he longed to have another interview. In this course of ex- pectation had he exercised himself a whole fortnight, when, chancing to be at the hospital of invalids, with a gentleman lately arrived from England, he no sooner entered the church, than he perceived this lady, attended by her spouse, who, at sight of our hero, changed colour, and looked another way* in order to discourage any communication between them. But the young man, who was not so easily repulsed, advanced with great assurance to his fellow-traveller, and, taking him by the hand, expressed his satisfaction at this unexpected meeting, kindly upbraiding him for his preci¬ pitate retreat from Chantilly. Before Hornbeck could make any reply, he went up to his wife, whom he complimented in the same manner, assuring her, with some significant glances, he was extremely mortified that she had put it out of his power to pay his respects to her on his first arrival at Paris ; and then, turning to her husband, who thought pro¬ per to keep close to him in this conference, begged to know where he could have the honour of waiting upon him; ob¬ serving, at the same time, that he himself lived a FAcademic de Palfrenier. Mr Hornbeck, without making any apology for his elope¬ ment on the road, thanked Mr Pickle for his complaisance in a very cool and disobliging manner, saying, that as he intended to shift his lodgings in a day or two, he could not expect the pleasure of seeing him until he should be settled, when he would call at the academy, and conduct him to his new habitation. Pickle, who was not unacquainted with the sentiments ot this jealous gentleman, did not put much confidence in liis promise, and therefore made divers efforts to enjoy a little private conversation with his wife ; but he was baffled in. all his attempts by the indefatigable vigilance of her keeper, and reaped no other immediate pleasure from this acci- 240 THE ADVENTURES OE dental meeting than that of a kind squeeze while he handed her into the coach. However, as he had been witness to some instances of her invention, and was no stranger to the favourable disposition of her heart, he entertained some faint hopes of profiting by her understanding, and was not de¬ ceived in his expectations; for, the very next afternoon, a Savoyard called at the academy, and put the following billet into his hand.— ‘ Coind sur, heaving the playsure of meating with you at the ofs- pital of anvilheads, I take this lubbertea of latin you know, that I lotch at the hottail de May cong dangle rouy Doghouseten, with two postis at the gait, naytheir of um very hole, ware I shall be at the windore, if in kais you will be so good as to pass that way at sicks a cloak in the heavening, when Mr Ilornbeck goes to the Calf hay de Contea. Prey for the loaf of Geesus keep this from the nolegs of my hussban, ells he will make me leed a hell upon urth. Being all from* deer sur, your most umbell servan wile e Deborah Hornbeck/ Our young gentleman was ravished at the receipt of this elegant epistle, which was directed A Monsr Monsr Pickett? a la Gaddamme de Paul Freni/, and did not fail to obey the summons at the hour of assignation; when the lady, true to her appointment, beckoned him up stairs, and he had the good fortune to be admitted unseen. After the first transports of their mutual joy at meeting, she told him that her husband had been very surly and cross ever since the adventure at Chantilly, which he had not yet digested; that he had laid severe injunctions upon her to avoid all commerce with Pickle, and even threatened to shut her up in a convent for life, if ever she should discover the least inclination to renew that acquaintance; that she had been cooped up in her chamber since her arrival at Paris, without being permitted to see the place, or indeed any com¬ pany, except that of her landlady, whose language she did not understand ; so that her spirit being broke, and her health impaired, be was prevailed upon, some days ago, to indulge her in a few airings, during which she had seen the gardens of the Luxembourg, the Thuilleries, and Palais Royal, though at those times when there was no company in the 241 I*EREGR?NE PICKLE. walks ; and that it was in one of those excursions she had the happiness of meeting with him. Finally, she gave him to understand, that, rather than continue longer under such confinement, with the man whom she could not love, she would instantly give him the slip, and put herself under the protection of her lover. Rash and unthinking as this declaration might be, the young gentleman was so much of a gallant, that he would not baulk the lady’s inclinations, and too infatuated by his passion to foresee the consequences of such a dangerous step. He therefore, without hesitation, embraced the proposal; and the coast being clear, they sallied into the street, where Peregrine called a fiacre, and ordered the coachman to drive them to a tavern : but, knowing it would not be in his power to conceal her from the search of the lieutenant de police, if she should remain within the walls of Paris, he hired a re¬ mise, and carried her that same evening to Villejuif, about four leagues from town, where he staid with her all night; and, having boarded her on a genteel pension, and settled the economy of his future visits, returned next day to his own lodgings. While he thus enjoyed his success, her husband endured the tortures of the damned. When he returned from the coffeehouse, and understood that his wife had eloped,without being perceived by any person in the family, he began to rave and foam with rage and jealousy, and in the fury of dis¬ traction, accused the landlady of being an accomplice in her escape, threatening to complain of her to the commissaire. The woman could not conceive how Mrs Hornbeck, who she knew was an utter stranger to the French language, and kept no sort of company, could elude the caution of her husband, and find any refuge in a place where she had no acquaintance; and began to suspect the lodger’s emotion was no other than an affected passion to conceal his own practices upon his wife, who had perhaps fallen a sacrifice to his jealous disposition. She therefore spared him the trouble of putting his menaces into execution, by going to the magistrate without any farther deliberation, and giving Vol 1L ' * * 242 THE ADVENTURES OF an account of what slie knew concerning this mysterious affair, with certain insinuations against Hornbeck’s charac¬ ter, which she represented as peevish and capricious to the last degree. While she thus anticipated the purpose of the plaintiff* her information was interrupted by the arrival of the party himself, who exhibited his complaint with such evident marks of perturbation, anger, and impatience, that the com- missaire could easily perceive that he had no share in the disappearance of his wife ; and directed them to the lieute¬ nant de police, whose province it is to take cognizance of such occurrences. This gentleman, who presides over the city of Paris, having heard the particulars of Horn beck's misfortune, asked if be suspected any individual person as the seducer of his yoke-fellow; and, when he mentioned Pe¬ regrine as the object of his suspicion, granted a warrant, mid a detachment of soldiers, to search for and retrieve the fugitive. The husband conducted them immediately to the academy where our hero lodged, and having rummaged the whole place, to the astonishment of Mr Jolter, without finding either his wife or the supposed ravisher, accompanied them to all the public houses in the fauxbourg; which having examined also without success, he returned to the magistrate in a state of despair, and obtained a promise of bis making such an effectual inquiry, that, in three days, lie should have an account of her, provided she was alive, and within the v/alls of Paris. Our adventurer, who had foreseen all this disturbance, was not at all surprised when his governor told him what had happened, and conjured him to restore the woman to the right owner, with many pathetic remonstrances touching the heinous sin of adultery, the distraction of the unfortunate husband, and the danger of incurring the resentment oi an arbitrary government, which, upon application being made, would not fail of espousing the cause of the injured. He denied, with great effrontery, that he had the least concern ip the matter, pretended to regret the deportment of Horn- PEREGRINE PICKLE. 243 bock, whom lie threatened to chastise for his scandalous sus¬ picion, and expressed his displeasure at the credulity of Jol- ter, who seemed to doubt the veracity of his asseveration. Notwithstanding this confident behaviour, Jolter could not help entertaining doubts of his sincerity ; and, visiting the disconsolate swain, begged he would, for the honour of his country, as well as for the sake of his own reputation, discontinue his addresses to the lieutenant de police, and ap¬ ply to the British ambassador, who, by dint of friendly ad¬ monitions, would certainly prevail upon Mr Pickle to do him aM the justice in his power, if he was really the author of the injury he had sustained. The governor urged this advice with the appearance of so much sympathy and con¬ cern, promising to co-operate with all Ins influence in his behalf, that Hornbeck embraced the proposal, comfriunicated his purpose to the magistrate, who commended the resolu¬ tion as the most decent and desirable expedient he could use, and then waited upon his excellency, who readily espoused his cause, and sending for the young gentleman that same evening, read him such a lecture in private, as extorted a confession of the whole affair. Not that he assailed him with sour and supercilious maxims, or severe rebuke, because he had penetration enough to discern that Peregrine’s dis¬ position was impregnable to all such attacks; but he first of all rallied him upon his intriguing genius, then, in a hu¬ morous manner, described the distraction of the poor cuck¬ old, who, he owned, was justly punished for the absurdity of his conduct; and, lastly,upon the supposition that it would be no great effort in Pickle to part with such a conquest, especially after it had been for some time possessed. He re¬ presented the necessity and expediency of restoring her, not only out of regard to his own character, and that of his nation, but also with a view to his ease, which would in a little time be very much invaded by such an encumbrance, that in all probability would involve him in a thousand difficulties and disgusts. Besides, he assured him, that he w r as already, by order of the lieutenant de police, surround¬ ed with spies, who would watch all his motions, and imme- 244 THE ADVENTURES OP diately discover the retreat in which he had disposed of his prize. These arguments, and the frank familiar manner in which they were delivered, but, above all, the last consi¬ deration, induced the young gentleman to disclose the whole of his proceedings to the ambassador, and promised to be governed by his direction, provided the lady should not suffer for the step she had taken, but be received by her husband with due reverence and respect. These stipulations being agreed to, he undertook to produce her in eight-and- forty hours ; and taking coach immediately, drove to the place of her residence, where he spent a whole day and a night in convincing her of the impossibility of their enjoy¬ ing each other in that manner. Then, returning to Paris, he delivered her into the hands of the ambassador, who, having assured her that she might depend upon his friend¬ ship and protection, in case she should find herself aggriev¬ ed by the jealous temper of Mr Hornbeck, restored her to her legitimate lord, whom he counselled *to exempt her from that restraint which in all probability had been the cause of her elopement, and endeavour to conciliate her affection by tender and respectful usage. The husband behaved with great humility and compli¬ ance, protesting that his chief study should be to contrive parties for her pleasure and satisfaction. But no sooner did he regain possession of his stray sheep, than he locked her up more closely than ever ; and, after having revolved va¬ rious schemes for her reformation, determined to board her in a convent, under the inspection of a prudent abbess, who should superintend her morals, and recal her to the paths of virtue, which she had forsaken. With this view he con¬ sulted an English priest of his acquaintance, who advised him to settle her in a monastery at Lisle, that she might be as far as possible from the machinations of her lover; and gave him a letter of recommendation to the superior ot a certain convent in that place, for which Mr Hornbeck set out in a few days with his troublesome charge. PEREGRINE PICKLE. 245 CHAPTER XLII. Peregrine, resolves to return to England—is diverted with the odd characters of two of his countrymen , with whom he con¬ tracts an acquaintance in the apartments of the Palais Royal. In the mean time, our hero received a letter from his aunt, importing, that the commodore was in a very declining way, and longed much to see him at the garrison; and, at the same time, he heard from his sister, who gave him to un¬ derstand, that the young gentleman who had for some time made his addresses to her, was become very pressing in his solicitations; so that she wanted to know in what manner she should answer his repeated entreaties. These two consi* derations determined the young gentleman to return to his native country, a resolution that was far from being dis¬ agreeable to Jolter, who knew that the incumbent on a living which was in the gift of Trunnion was extremely old, and that it would be his interest to be upon the spot at the said incumbent’s decease. Peregrine, who had resided about fifteen months in France thought he was now sufficiently qualified for eclipsing most of his contemporaries in England, and therefore prepared for his departure with infinite alacrity, being moreover in¬ flamed with the most ardent desire of revisiting his friends, and renewing his connections, particularly with Emilia, whose heart he, by this time, thought he was able to reduce on his own terms. As lie proposed to make the tour of Flanders and Holland in his return to England, he resolved to stay at Paris a week or two after his affairs were settled, in hope of finding some agreeable companion disposed for the same journey; and, in order to refresh his memory, made a second circuit round all the places in that capital, where any curious production of art is to be seen. In the course of this second examination, he chanced to enter the Palais Royal, just as two gentlemen alighted from a fiacre at the gate; and all three being ad¬ mitted at the same time, he soon perceived that the strangers £46 THE ADVENTURES were of his own country. One of them was a young man in whose air and countenance appeared all the uncouth gra¬ vity and supercilious self-conceit of a physician piping hot from his studies; while the other, to whom his companion spoke by the appellation of Mr Pallet, displayed at first sight a strange composition of levity and assurance. Indeed their characters, dress, and address, were strongly contrasted : the doctor wore a suit of black, and a huge tie-wig, neither suit¬ able to his own age, nor the fashion of the country where he then lived ; whereas the other, though seemingly turned of fifty, strutted in a gay summer dress of the Parisian cut, with a bag to his own grey hair, and a red feather in his hat, which he carried under his arm. As these figures seemed to promise something entertaining, Pickle entered into con¬ versation with them immediately, and soon discovered that the old gentleman was a painter from London, who had stole a fortnight from his occupation, in order to visit the re¬ markable paintings of France and Flanders; and that the doctor had taken the opportunity of accompanying him in his tour. Being extremely talkative, he not only communi¬ cated these particulars to our hero in a very few minutes after their meeting, but also took occasion to whisper in his ear, that his fellow-traveller was a man of vast learning, and, beyond all doubt, the greatest poet in the age. As for him¬ self, he was under no necessity of making his own eulogium ; for he soon gave such specimens of his taste and talents, as left Pickle no room to doubt of his capacity. While they stood considering the pictures in one of the first apartments, which are by no means the most masterly compositions, the Swiss, who sets up for a connoisseur, look¬ ing at a certain piece, pronounced the word magnijique! with a note of admiration ; upon which Mr Pallet, who was not at all a critic in the French language, replied with great vi¬ vacity, ‘ Manufac , you mean, and a very indifferent piece of manufacture it is ; pray, gentlemen,'take notice, there is no keeping in those heads upon the back ground, nor no relief in the principal figure: then you'll observe the shadings are .harsh to the last degree ; and—come a little closer this PEREGRINE PICKLE. 247 way—don't you perceive that the fore-shortening of that arm is monstrous—agad, Sir, there is an absolute fracture in the limb—doctor, you understand anatomy ; don’t you think that muscle evidently misplaced ? Hark ye, Mr What d'ye call um (turning to the attendant), what is the name of the dauber who painted that miserable performance ?' The Swiss, imagining that he was all this time expressing his sa¬ tisfaction, sanctioned his supposed commendation, by ex¬ claiming sans prix. 6 Right,' cried Pallet, c I could not re¬ collect his. name, though his manner is quite familiar to me. We have a few pieces in England done by that same Sang- pree ; but there they are in no estimation ; we have more taste among us than to relish the productions of such a miserable gout. A'n't he an ignorant coxcomb, doctor?' The physician, ashamed of his companion's blunder, thought it was necessary, for the honour of his own character, to take notice of it before the stranger, and therefore answered his question, by repeating this line from Horace,— Mutato nomine, de te Tabula narratur. The painter, who was rather more ignorant of Latin than of French, taking it for granted that this quotation of his friend conveyed an assent to his opinion, 4 Very true,’ said he c potato domine date ,—this piece is not worth a single po¬ tato.' Peregrine was astonished at this surprising perversion of the words and meaning of a Latin line, which, at first, he could not help thinking was a premeditated joke: but upon second thoughts, he saw no reason to doubt that it was the extemporaneous effect of sheer pertness and igno¬ rance, at which lie broke out into an immoderate fit of laughter. Pallet, believing that the gentleman's mirth was occasioned by his arch animadversion upon the works of Sangpree, underwent the same emotion in a much louder strain, and endeavoured to heighten the jest by more obser¬ vations of the same nature ; while the doctor, confounded at his Impudence and want of knowledge, reprimanded him in these words of Homer :—* Siga me tis alios Achaion touton akouse muthon* 248 THE ADVENTURES OF This rebuke, the reader will easily perceive, was not calcu¬ lated for the meridian of his friend’s intellects, but uttered with a view of raising his own character in the opinion of Mr Pickle, who retorted this parade of learning in three verses from the same author, being part of the speech of Poly- damas to Hector, importing that it is impossible for one man to excel in every thing. The self-sufficient physician, who did not expect such a repartee from a youth of Peregrine’s appearance, looked upon his reply as a fair challenge, and instantly rehearsed forty or fifty lines of the Iliad in a breath. Observing that the stranger made no effort to match this eflusion, he interpreted his silence into submission; then, in order to ascertain his victory, insulted him with divers fragments of authors, whom his supposed competitor did not even know by name; while Mr Pallet stared with ad¬ miration at the profound scholarship of his companion. Our younggentleman, farfrom repining at this superiority, laugh¬ ed within himself at the ridiculous ambition of the pedantic doctor. He rated him in his own mind as a mere index- hunter, who held the eel of science by the tail; and foresaw an infinite fund of diversion in his solemnity and pride, if properly extracted by means of his fellow-traveller’s van it v and assurance. Prompted by these considerations, he re¬ solved to cultivate their acquaintance, and, if possible, amuse himself at their expence in his journey through Flanders, understanding that they were determined upon the same, route. In this view he treated them with extraordinary attention, and seemed to pay particular deference to the re¬ marks of the painter, who with great intrepidity pronounced judgment upon every picture in the palace, or, in other words, exposed his own nakedness in every sentence that proceeded from his mouth. When they came to consider the Murder of the Innocents, by Le Brun, the Swiss observed, that it was un beau morceau ; and Mr Pallet replied, 4 Yes, yes, one may see with half an eye, that it can be the production of no other; for Bo- morso’s style, both in colouring and drapery, is- altogether peculiar; then his design is tame 5 and his expression antic PEREGRINE PICKLE. 249 and unnatural. Doctor, you have seen my Judgment of Solomon ; I think I may, without presumption—but I don’t chuse to make comparisons; I leave that odious task to other people, and let my works speak for themselves. France, to be sure, is rich in the arts ; but what is the reason ? The king encourages men of genius with honour and rewards; whereas, in England, we are obliged to stand upon our own feet, and combat the envy and malice of our brethren— agad ! I have a good mind to come and settle here in Paris; I should like to have an apartment in the Louvre, with a snug pension of so many thousand livres.’ In this manner did Pallet proceed with an eternal rotation of tongue, floun¬ dering from one mistake to another, until it was the turn of Poussin’s Seven Sacraments to be examined. Here again the Swiss, out of the abundance of his zeal, expressed his admiration, by saying these pieces were impayable; when the painter, turning to him with an air of exultation, 4 Par¬ don me, friend, there you happen to be mistaken ; these are none of Impayable’s, but done by Nicholas Pouseen. I have seen prints of them in England ; so that none of your tricks upon travellers, Mr Swiss, or Swash, or what’s your name.’ He was very much elated by this imaginary triumph of his understanding, which animated him to per¬ severe in his curious observations upon all the other pieces of that celebrated collection ; but perceiving that the doctor manifested no signs of pleasure and satisfaction, but rather beheld them with a silent air of disdain, he could not digest his indifference, and asked, with a waggish sneer, if ever he had seen such a number of masterpieces before. The physician, eyeing him with a look of compassion mingled with contempt, observed, that there was nothing there which deserved the attention of any person acquainted with the ideas of the ancients ; and that the author of the finest piece now in being was unworthy to clean the brushes of one of those great masters who are celebrated by the Greek and Ro¬ man writers. 4 O lud ! O lud !’ exclaimed the painter, with a loud laugh, 4 you have fairly brought yourself into a di„ lemma at last, dear doctor ; for it is well known that your 250 THE ADVENTURES OF ancient Greek and Roman artists knew nothing at all of the matter, in comparison with out modern masters; for this good reason, because they had but three or four colours, and knew not how to paint with oil : besides, which of all vour old fusty Grecians would you put upon a footing with the divine Raphael, the most excellent Michael Angelo, Bona Roti, the graceful Guido, the bewitching Titian, and, above all others, the sublime Rubens, the’—He would have pro¬ ceeded with a long catalogue of names which he had got by heart for the purpose, without retaining the least idea of their several qualifications, had not he been interrupted by his friend, whose indignation being kindled by the irreverence' with which he mentioned the Greeks, be called him blas¬ phemer, Goth, Boeotian, and, in his turn, asked with great vehemence, which of those puny moderns could match witli Fanmnus of Athens, and his brother Phidias, Polycletus of Sicyon, Polygnotus the Thracian, Parrhasias of Ephesus, surnamed Abrodiaitos, or the Beau , and Apelles, the prince of painters ? He challenged him to show any portrait of these days that could vie with the Helen of Zeuxis, the lieraclean, or any composition equal to the sacrifice of Xphigenia, by Timanthes the Sicyonian ; not to mention the Twelve Gods of Asclepiadorus the Athenian, for which Mnason, tyrant of Elatea, gave him about three hundred pounds a-piece ; or Homer’s hell, by Nicias, who refused sixty talents, amount¬ ing to upwards of eleven thousand pounds, and generously made a present of it to his own country. He desired him to produce a collection equal to that in the temple of Delphos, mentioned in the Ion of Euripides, where Hercules and his companion lolaus are represented in the act of killing the __ , , A to Per nman hydra, with golden sickles, krus e a is h a rp a is , where Beil crop! ion appears on his winged steed, vanquishing the fire-breathing chimera, tan puripneousan , and the w r ar of the giants is described—here Jupiter stands wielding the red- hot thunderbolt, Keraunon amphipuron; there Pallas, dread¬ ful to the view, Gorgopon, brandisheth her spear against the huge Enceladus; and Bacchus, with slender ivy rods, defeats and slays the gas teJaion , or mighty son of earth PEREGRINE PICKLE* 251 The painter was astonished and confounded at this rhap¬ sody of names and instances, which was uttered with sur¬ prising eagerness and rapidity, and suspected at tirst that the whole was the creation of his own brain ; but when Fickle, with a view of flattering the doctor’s self-conceit, espoused his side of the question, and confirmed the truth of every thing he advanced, Mr Pallet changed his opinion, and in emphatic silence adored the immensity of his friend’s un¬ derstanding. In short, Peregrine easily perceived that they were false enthusiasts, without the smallest pretensions to taste and sensibility, and pretended to be in raptures with they knew not what, the one thinking it was incumbent upon him to express transports on seeing the works of those who had been most eminent in his profession, whether they did or did not really raise his admiration ; and the other, as a scholar, deeming it his duty to magnify the ancients above all competition, with an affected fervour, which the know¬ ledge of their excellencies never inspired. Indeed, our young gentleman so successfully accommodated himself to the dis¬ positions of each, that long before tlieir'review was finished, he was become a particular favourite with both. From the Palais Royal he accompanied them to the clois¬ ters of the Carthusians, where they considered the History of St Bruno, by Le Seur, whose name being utterly un¬ known to the painter, he gave judgment against the whole composition, as pitiful and paltry, though in the opinion of all good judges, it is a most masterly performance. Having satisfied their curiosity in this place. Peregrine asked them to favour him with their company at dinner; but whether out of caution against the insinuations of one whose character they did not know, or by reason of a prior engagement, they declined his invitation, on pretence of having an appointment at a certain ordinary, though they expressed a desire of being farther acquainted with him; and Mr Pallet took the freedom of asking his name, which he not only declared, but promised, as they were strangers in Paris, to wait upon them next day in the forenoon, in or¬ der to conduct them to tfyc hotel de Thouiouse, and the 252 the adventures of houses of several other noblemen, remarkable for paintings or curious furniture. They thankfully embraced his pro¬ posal, and that same day made inquiry among the English gentlemen about the character of our hero, which they found so much to their satisfaction, that upon their second meet¬ ing they courted his good graces without reserve ; and, as they had heard of his intended departure, begged earnestly to have the honour of accompanying him through the Low Countries. He assured them, that nothing could be more agreeable to him than the prospect of having such fellow- travellers; and they immediately appointed a day for setting out on that tour. CHAPTER XLIII. He introduces his new friends to Mr Jolter , with whom the doctor enters into a dispute upon government , which had well night terminated in open war . Meanwhile, he not only made them acquainted with every thing worth seeing in town, but attended them in their ex¬ cursions to all the king’s houses within a day’s journey of Paris ; and, in the course of these parties, treated them with an elegant dinner at his own apartments, where a dispute arose between the doctor and Mr Jolter, which had well nigh terminated in an irreconcilable animosity. These gen¬ tlemen, with an equal share of pride, pedantry, and satur¬ nine disposition, were, by the accidents of education and company, diametrically opposite in political maxims; the one, as we have already observed, being a bigotted high- churchman, and the other a rank republican. It was an article of the governor’s creed, that the people could not be happy, nor the earth yield its fruits in abundance, under a restricted clergy and limited government; whereas, in the doctor’s opinion, it was an eternal truth, that no constitu¬ tion was so perfect as the democracy, and that no country could flourish, but under the administration of the mob. These considerations being premised, no wonder that they PEREGRINE PICKLE, 253 happened to disagree in the freedom of an unreserved con¬ versation, especially as their entertainer took all opportu¬ nities of encouraging and inflaming the contention. The first source of their difference was an unlucky remark of the painter, who observed that the partridge of which he was then eating, had the finest relish of any he had ever tasted. His friend owned that the birds were the best of the kind he had seen in France; but affirmed that they were neither so pflump nor so delicious as those that were caught in England. The governor, considering this observation as the effect of prejudice and inexperience, said, with a sar&astical smile,— 6 I believe, Sir, you are very well disposed to find every thing here inferior to the productions of your own country.’ 4 True, Sir,’ (answered the physician, with a certain solemnity of aspect), 4 and not without good reason, I hope.’ ‘ And pray,' (resumed the tutor), 4 why may not the partridges of France be as good as those of England ?’ 4 For a very plain reason,’ (replied the other), 4 because they are not so well fed. The iron hand of oppression is extended to ail animals within the French dominions, even to the beasts of the field and the fowls of the air. Kunessin oionoisi tepasiS ‘Egad!’ cried the painter, 4 that is a truth not to be controverted ; for my own part, I am none of your tit-bits, one would think, but yet there’s a freshness in the English complexion, a ginseekye, I think you call it, so inviting to a hungry Frenchman, that I have caught several in the very act of viewing me with an eye of extreme appetite as I passed ; and as for their curs, or rather their wolves, whenever I set my eyes on one of ’em, ah ! your humble servant, Mr Son of a bitch ; I am upon my guard in an instant. The doctor can testify that their verv horses, or more properly their live carrion, that drew our chaise, used to reach back their long necks, and smell at us, as a couple of delicious morsels.’ This sally of Mr Pallet, which was received with a general laugh of approbation, would, in all probability, have stifled the dispute in embryo, had not Mr Jolter, with a self-applauding simper, ironically complimented the strangers on their talking like true En¬ glishmen, The doctor, affronted at the insinuation, told him 26 i THE ADVENTURES OP with some warmth, that he was mistaken in his conjecture^ his affections and ideas being confined to no part" iilar coun¬ try ; for he considered himself as a citizen of the world. He owned himself more attached to England than to any other kingdom, but tins preference was the effect of reflection, and not of prejudice; because the British constitution approached nearer than any other to that perfection of government, the democracy of Athens, winch he hoped one day to see reviv¬ ed He mentioned the death of Charles I. and the expulsion of his son, with raptures of applause; inveighed with great acrimony against the kingly name ; and, in order to strength¬ en his opinion, repeated forty or fifty lines from one of the philippics of Demosthenes. Joker hearing him speak so dis¬ respectfully of the higher powers, glowed with indignation. He said his doctrines were detestable, and destructive of all right, order, and society ; that monarchy was of divine insti¬ tution, therefore indefeasible by any human power ; and, of consequence, those events in the English history, which he had so liberally commended, were no other than flagrant in¬ stances of sacrilege, perfidy, and sedition; that the demo¬ cracy of Athens was a most absurd constitution, productive of anarchy and mischief, which must always happen when the government of a nation depends upon the caprice of the ignorant hair-brained vulgar : that it was in the power of the most profligate member of the commonwealth, provided he was endowed with eloquence, to ruin the most deserving, by a desperate exertion of his talents upon the populace, who had often been persuaded to act in the most ungrate¬ ful and imprudent manner against the greatest patriots that their country had produced; and, finally, he averred, that the liberal arts and sciences had never flourished so much in a republic as under the encouragement and protection of absolute power ; witness the Augustan age, and the reign of Lewis XIV,; nor was it to be supposed that g;enius and merit could ever be so amply recompensed by the indivi¬ duals or distracted councils of a commonwealth, as by the generosity and magnificence of one who had the whole trea¬ sures at his own command. PEREGRINE PICKLE. 25,5 Peregrine, who was pleased to find the contest grow warm, observed that there seemed to be a good deal of truth in what Mr Jolter advanced ; and the painter, whose opinion began to waver, looked with a face of expectation at his friend, who, modelling his features into an expression of exulting disdain, asked of his antagonist, if he did not think that the very power of rewarding merit enabled an absolute prince to indulge himself in the most arbitrary licence over the lives and fortunes of his people. Before the governor had time to answer this question, Pallet broke forth into an exclama¬ tion of 4 By the Lord ! that is certainly fact, egad ! that was a home thrust, doctor/ When Mr Jolter, chastising this shallow intruder with a contemptuous look, affirmed, that though supreme power furnished a good prince with the means of exerting his virtues, it would not support a tyrant in the exercise of cruelty and oppression ; because in all na¬ tions the genius of the people must be consulted by their go¬ vernors, and the burden proportioned to the shoulders on which it is laid ,— 4 Else, what follows ?’ said the physician. 6 The consequence is plain,’ replied the governor, 4 insurrec¬ tion, revolt, and his own destruction ; for it is not to be sup¬ posed that the subjects of any nation would be so abject and pusillanimous as to neglect the means which Heaven had put in their power for their own preservation.’ 4 Gadzooks, you’re in the right, Sir,’ cried Pallet, 4 that, I grant you, must be confessed : doctor, I’m afraid we have got into the wrong box/ This son of Paean, however, far from being of his friend’s opinion, observer, with an air of triumph, that he would not only demonstrate the sophistry of the gentleman’s last allegation by arguments and facts, but even confute him with Ins own words. Joker’s eyes kindling at this presump¬ tuous declaration, he told his antagonist, while his lip quiver¬ ed with resentment, that if his arguments were no better than his breeding, he was sure he would make very few converts to his opinion ; and the doctor, with all the insolence of tri¬ umph, advised him to beware of disputes for the future, mil til he should have made himself more master of his subject. Peregrine both wished and hoped to see the disputants pro* THE ADVENTURES OF 25G ceed to arguments of more weight and conviction ; and the painter, dreading the same issue, interposed with the usual exclamation of 6 For God’s sake, gentlemen !’ when the go¬ vernor rose from table in great dudgeon, and left the room, muttering some ejaculation, of which the word coxcomb only could be distinctly heard.—The physician being thus left master of the field of battle, was complimented on his vic¬ tory by Peregrine, and so elevated by his success, that he declaimed a full hour on the absurdity of Jolter’s proposition, and the beauty of the democratic administration; canvassed the whole scheme of Plato’s republic, with many quotations from that ideal author, touching the to kalon; from thence he made a transition to the moral sense of Shaftesbury, and concluded his harangue with the greatest part of that frothy writer’s rhapsody, which he repeated with all the violence of enthusiastic agitation, to the unspeakable satisfaction of his entertainer, and the unutterable admiration of Pallet, who looked upon him as something supernatural and divine. So intoxicated was this vain young man with the ironical praises of Pickle, that he forthwith shook off all reserve, and, having professed a friendship for our hero, whose taste and learning lie did not fail to extol, intimated, in plain terms, that he was the only person in these latter ages who possessed that sublime genius, that portion of the divinity, of ti theion , which immortalized the Grecian poets; that as Pythagoras affirmed the spirit of Euphorbus had transmigrated into his body, he, the doctor, was strangely possessed with the opi¬ nion that he himself was inspired by the soul of Pindar; be¬ cause, making allowance for the difference of languages in which they wrote, there was a surprising affinity between his own works and those of that celebrated Theban ; and, as a confirmation of this truth, he immediately produced a sample of each, which, though in spirit and versification as different as the odes of Horace and our present poet laureat, Pere¬ grine did not scruple to pronounce altogether congenial, not¬ withstanding the violence he by this sentence offered to his own conscience, and a certain alarm of his pride, that was weak enough to be distributed by the physician’s ridiculous PEREGRINE PICKLE. 257 vanity and presumption, which, not contented with display¬ ing his importance in the world of taste and polite literature, manifested itself in arrogating certain material discoveries in the province of physic, which could not fail to advance him to the highest pinnacle of that profession, considering the recommendation of his other talents, together with a liberal fortune which he inherited from his father. CHAPTER XLXI. The doctor prepares an entertainment in the manner of the cm- dents , which is attended with divers ridiculous circumstances. In a word, our young gentleman, by his insinuating behavi¬ our, acquired the full confidence of the doctor, who invited him to an entertainment, which he intended to prepare in the manner of the ancients. Pickle, struck with this idea, eagerly embraced the proposal, which he honoured with many en¬ comiums, as a plan in all respects worthy of his genius and apprehension ; and the day was appointed at some distance of time, that the treater might have leisure to compose cer¬ tain pickles and confections, which were not to be found among the culinary preparations of these degenerate days. With a view of rendering the physician’s taste more con¬ spicuous, and extracting from it the more diversion. Pere¬ grine proposed that some foreigners should partake of the banquet; and the task being left to his care and discretion, he actually bespoke the company of a French marquis, an Italian count, and a German baron, whom he knew to be egregious coxcombs, and therefore more likely to enhance the joy of the entertainment. Accordingly, the hour being arrived, he conducted them to the hotel where the physician lodged, after having regaled their expectations with an elegant meal in the genuine old Roman taste ; and they were received by Mr Pallet, who did the honours of the house, while his friend superintended the cook below. By this communicative painter, the guests un-» To/. II. R 258 THE ADVENTURES Of derstood that the doctor had met with numerous difficulties 111 ^ )e execution of his design ; that no fewer than five cooks had been dismissed, because they could not prevail upon their own consciences to obey his directions in things that were contrary to the present practice of their art; and that although lie had at last engaged a person, by an extraordi- nary premium, to comply with his orders, the fellow was so astonished, mortified, and incensed, at the commands he had received, that his h air stood on end, and he begged on his knees to be released from the agreement he had made; but finding that his employer insisted upon the performance of ids contract, and threatened to introduce him to the com- missaire, if he should flinch from the hargasn, he had, in the discharge of his office, wept, sung, cursed, and capered, for two hours without intermission. While the company listened to this odd information, by which they were prepossessed with strange notions of the dinner, their ears were invaded by a piteous voice, that ex¬ claimed in French, 4 For the love of God ! dear Sir ! for the passion of Jesus Christ! spare me the mortification of the honey and oil f Their ears still vibrated with the sound, when the doctor entering, washy Peregrine made acquaint¬ ed with the strangers, to whom he, in the transports of lvis wrath, could not help complaining of the want of complai¬ sance he had found in the Parisian vulgar, by which his plan had been almost entirely ruined and set aside. .The French marquis, who thought the honour of his nation was concerned at this declaration, professed his sorrow for what had happened, so contrary to the established character of the people, and undertook to see the delinquents severely punished, provided he could be informed of their names or places of abode. The mutual compliments that passed on this occasion were scarce finished, when a servant coming into the room, announced dinner ; and the entertainer led the way into another apartment, where they found a long ta¬ ble, or rather two boards joined together, and furnished with a variety of dishes, the steams of which had such evident ef¬ fect upon the nerves of the company, that the marquis made PEREGRINE PICKLE. 259 frightful grimaces, under pretence of taking snuff; the Ita¬ lian’s eyes watered, the German’s visage underwent several distortions of feature ; our hero found means to exclude the odour from his sense of smelling, by breathing only through bis mouth ; and the poor painter, running into another room, plugged his nostrils with tobacco. The doctor himself, who was the only person then present whose organs were not discomposed, pointing to a couple of couches placed on each side of the table, told his guests that he was sorry he could not procure the exact triclinia of the ancients, which were somewhat different from these conveniences, and desired they would have the goodness to repose themselves without ceremony, each in his respective couchette, while he and his friend Mr Pallet would place themselves upright at the ends, that they might have the pleasure of serving those that lay along. This disposition, of which the strangers had no pre¬ vious idea, disconcerted and perplexed them in a most ridi¬ culous manner; the marquis and baron stood bowing to each other, on pretence of disputing the lower seat, but, in reality, with a view of profiting by the example of each other: for neither of them understood the manner in which they were to loll; and Peregrine, who enjoyed their confu¬ sion, handed the count to the other side, where, with the most mischievous politeness, he insisted upon his taking pos¬ session of the upper place. In this disagreeable and ludicrous sqspense,they continued acting a pantomime of gesticulations, until the doctor earnest¬ ly entreated them to wave all compliment and form, lest the dinner should be spoiled before the ceremonial could be ad¬ justed. Thus conjured, Peregrine took the lower couch on the left-hand side, laying himself gently down, with his face towards the table. The marquis, in imitation of this pat¬ tern, (though he would have much rather fasted three days than run the risk of discomposing his dress by such an atti¬ tude), stretched himself upon the opposite place, reclining upon his elbow in a most painful and awkward situation with his head raised above the end of the couch, that the economy of his hair might not suffer by the projection of 2t30 THE ADVENTURES OP his body. The Italian, being a thin limber creature, planted himself’ next to Pickle, without sustaining any misfortune, but that of his stocking being torn by a ragged nail of the seat, as he raised his legs on a level with the rest of his limbs. But the baron, who was neither so wieldy nor supple in his joints as his companions, flounced himself down with such precipitation, that his feet, suddenly tilting up, came in . furious contact with the head of the marquis, and demolish¬ ed every curl in a twinkling, while his own skull, at the same instant, descended upon the side of his couch with such vio¬ lence, that his periwig was struck off, and the whole room fllied with puivilio. The drollery of distress that attended this disaster entirely vanquished the affected gravity of our young gentleman, who was obliged to suppress his laughter by cramming his handkerchief into his mouth ; for the bareheaded German asked pardon with such ridiculous confusion, and the mar¬ quis admitted his apology with such rueful complaisance, as were sufficient to awaken the mirth of a quietist. This misfortune being repaired, as well as the circum¬ stances of the occasion would permit, and every one settled according to the arangement already described, the doctor graciously undertook to give some account of the dishes as they occured, that the company might be directed in their choice ; and, with an air of infinite satisfaction, thus began: —‘ This here, gentlemen, is a boiled goose, served up in a sauce composed of pepper, lovage, coriander, mint, rue, anchovies, and oil. I wish for your sakes, gentlemen, it was one of the geese of Ferrara, so much celebrated among the ancients for the magnitude of their livers, one of which is said to have weighed upwards of two pounds; with this food, exquisite as it was, did the tyrant Heliogabalus regale his hounds. But I beg pardon, I had almost forgot the soup, which I hear is so necessary an article at all tables in France. At each end there are dishes of the salacacabia of the Ro¬ mans; one is made of parsley, pennyroyal, cheese, pine- tops, honey, vinegar, brine, eggs, cucumbers, onions, and hen livers; the other is much the same as the soup-maigre PEREGRINE PICKLE. 261 of this country. Then there is a loin of boiled veal with fennel and carraway seed, on a pottage composed of pickle, oil, honey, and flour, and a curious hashis of the lights, liver, and blood of a hare, together with a dish of roasted pigeons. Monsieur le Baron, shall I help you to a plate of this soup ?’ The German, who did not at all disapprove of the ingre¬ dients, assented to the proposal, and seemed to relish the composition ; while the marquis, being asked by the painter which of the sillykickabys he chose, was, in consequence of his desire, accommodated with a portion of the soup-maigre; and the count, in lieu of spoon meat, of which he said he was no great admirer, supplied himself with a pigeon, there¬ in conforming to the choice of our young gentleman, whose example he determined to follow through the whole course of the entermainment. The Frenchman, having swallowed the first spoonful,made a full pause, his throat swelled as if an egg had stuck in his gullet, his eyes rolled, and his mouth underwent a series of involuntary (contractions and dilations. Pallet, who looked steadfastly at this connoisseur, with a view of consulting his taste, before he himself would venture upon the soup, began to be disturbed at these emotions, and observed, with some concern, that the poor gentleman seemed to be going into a fit; when Peregrine assured him, that these were symptoms of ecstacy, and, for further confirmation, asked the marquis how he found the soup. It was with infinite difficulty that his complaisance could so far master his disgust, as to enable him to answer, 4 Altogether excellent, upon my honour V and the painter, being certified of his approbation, lilted the spoon to his mouth without scruple; but far from justifying the eulogium of his taster, when this precious composition dif¬ fused itself upon his palate, he seemed to be deprived of all sense and motion, and sat like the leaden statue of some river god, with the liquor flowing out at both sides of his mouth. The doctor, alarmed at this indecent phenomenon, ear¬ nestly inquired into the cause of it; and when Pallet reco¬ vered his recollection, and swore that he would rather swal¬ low porridge made of burning brimstone than such an infernal 262 THE ADVENTURES OF mess as that which he had tasted, the physician, in his own vindication, assured the company, that, except the usual in¬ gredients, he had mixed nothing in the soup but some sal ammoniac, instead of the ancient nitrum, which could not now be procured; and appealed to the marquis, whether such a succedaneum was not an improvement on the whole, lhe unfortunate petit maitre, driven to the extremity of his condescension, acknowledged it to be a masterly refinement; and deeming himself obliged, in point of honour, to evince bis sentiments by his practice, forced a few more mouthfuls of this disagreeable potion down his threat, till his stomach was so much offended, that he was compelled to start up of a sudden ; and, in the hurry of his elevation, overturned his plate into the bosom of the baron. The emergency of his occasions would not permit him to stay and make apolo¬ gies for this abrupt behaviour ; so that he flew inso another apartment, where Pickle found him puking, and crossing himself with great devotion ; and a chair, at his desire, be¬ ing brought to the door, he slipped into it more dead than alive, conjuring his friend Pickle to make his peace with the company, and in particular excuse him to the baron, on account of the violent fit of illness with which he had been seized. It was not without reason that he employed a me¬ diator ; for when our hero returned to the dining-room, the German got up, and was under the hands of his own lacquey, who wiped the grease from a rich embroidered waistcoat, while he, almost frantic with his misfortune, stamped upon the ground, and in High Dutch cursed the unlucky banquet, and the impertinent entertainer, who all this time, with great deliberation, consoled him for the disaster, by assuring him, that the damage might be repaired with some oil of turpen¬ tine and a hot iron. Peregrine, who could scarce refrain from laughing in his face, appeased his indignation, by tell¬ ing him how much the whole company, and especially the marquis, was mortified at the accident; and the unhappy salacacabia being removed, the places were filled with two pyes, one of dormice, liquored with syrup of white poppies, which the doctor had substituted in the room of roasted PEREGRINE PICKLE* 203 poppy-seed, formerly eaten with honey, as a dessert; and the other composed of an hock of pork baked in honey. Pallet, hearing the first of these dishes described, lifted up his hands and eyes, and, with signs of loathing and amaze¬ ment, pronounced, ‘ A pye made of dormice and syrup of poppies ! Lord in heaven ! what beastly fellows those Romans were !’ His friend checked him for his irreverent exclamation with a severe look, and recommended the veal, of which he himself cheerfully ate, with such encomiums to the company, that the baron resolved to imitate his example, after having called for a bumper of Burgundy, which the physician, for his sake, wished to have been the true wine of Falernum. The painter, seeing nothing else upon the table which he would venture to touch, made a merit of necessity, and had recourse to the veal also ; although he could not help saying, that he would not give one slice of the roast beef of Old England for all the dainties of a Roman emperor’s table. Bat all the doctor’s invitations and assurances could not pre¬ vail upon his guests to honour the hashis and the goose ; and that course was succeeded by another, in which he told them were divers of those dishes, which, among the ancients, had obtained the appellation of politeles , or magnificent. 6 That which smokes in the middle,’ said he, is a sow’s stomach, filled with a composition of minced pork, hog’s brains, eggs, pepper, cloves, garlic, aniseed, rue, ginger, oil, wine, and pickle. On the right-hand side are the teats and belly of a sow, just farrowed, fried with sweet wine, oil, flour, lovage, and pepper. On the left is a fricassee of snails, fed, or rather purged, with milk. At that end next Mr Pallet are fritters of pompions, lovage, origanum, and oil; and here are a couple of pullets, roasted and stuffed in the manner of Appicius.’ The painter, who had by wry faces testified his abhorrence of the sow’s stomach, which he compared to a bagpipe, and the snails which had undergone purgation, no sooner heard him mention the roasted pullets, than he eagerly solicited a wing of the fowl; upon which the doctor desired he would take the trouble of cutting them up, and accordingly sent 2(34 THE ADVENTURES OF them round, while Mr Pallet tucked the table-cloth under his chin, and brandished his knife and fork with singular ad¬ dress ; but scarce were they set down before him, when the tears ran down his cheeks, and he called aloud, in a manifest disorder ,— 4 Zounds ! this is the essence of a w r hole bed of garlic !’ That he might not, however, disappoint or disgrace the entertainer, he applied his instruments to one of the birds ; and, when he opened up the cavity, was assaulted by such an irruption of intolerable smells, that, without staying to disengage himself from the cloth, he sprung away, with an exclamation ol 4 .Lord *Tesus ! and involved the whole table in havoc, ruin, and confusion. Before Pickle could accomplish his escape, he was sauced with a syrup of the dormice pye, which went to pieces in the general wreck : and as for the Italian count, he was over¬ whelmed by the sow’s stomach, which, bursting in the fall, discharged its contents upon his leg and thigh, and scalded mm so miserably, that he shrieked with anguish, and grinned with a most ghastly and horrible aspect. The baron, who sat secure without the vortex of this tu¬ mult, was not at all displeased at seeing his companions in¬ volved in such a calamity as that which he had already shared ; but the doctor was confounded with shame and vex¬ ation. After having prescribed an application of oil to the count’s leg, he expressed his sorrow for the misadventure, which he openly ascribed to want of taste and prudence in the painter, who did not think proper to return, and make an apology in person ; and protested that there was nothing in the fowls which could give offence to a sensible nose, the stuffing being a mixture of pepper, lovage, and assafeetida, and the sauce consisting of wine and herring-pickle, which he had used instead of the celebrated gariim of the Romans; tuat famous pickle having been prepared sometimes of the scombri , which were a sort of tunny fish, and sometimes of the silurus , or shad fish ; nay, he observed, that there was a thire. kind called garum Juemation , made of the guts, gills and blood of the ihi/nnus. Ihe physician, finding it would be impracticable to re- PEREGRINE TICKLE. 265 establish the order of the banquet, by presenting again the dishes which had been discomposed, ordered every thing to be removed, a clean cloth to be laid, and the dessert to be brought in. Meanwhile, he regretted his incapacity to give them a specimen of the alieus , or fish-meals of the ancients, such as the jus diabaton , the conger-eel, which, in Galen’s opinion, is hard of digestion ; the cornuta , or gurnard, described by Pliny in his Natural History, who says, the horns of many were a foot and a half in length ; the mullet and lamprey, that were in the highest estimation of old, of which last Julius Caesar borrowed six thousand for one triumphal supper. He observed, that the manner of dressing them was described by Horace, in the account he gives of the en¬ tertainment to which Maecenas was invited by the epicure Nasicdenus, Affertur squillos inter Murena natantes, &c. and told them, that they were commonly eaten with the thus Syriacum , a certain anodyne and astringent seed, which qualified the purgative nature of the fish. Finally, this learn¬ ed physician gave them to understand, that, though this was reckoned a luxurious dish in the zenith of the Roman taste, it was by no means comparable, in point of expence, to some preparations in vogue about the time of that absurd voluptuary Heliogabalus, who ordered the brains of six hun¬ dred ostriches to be compounded in one mess. By this time the dessert appeared, and the company were not a little rejoiceu to see plain olives in salt and water : but what the master of the feast valued himself upon was a sort of jelly, which he affirmed to be preferable to the hypo - trimma of Hcsychius, being a mixture of vinegar, pickle, and honey, boiled to a proper consistence, and candied as- safoetida, which he asserted, in contradiction to Aumelber- gius and Lister, was no other than the laser Syriacum , so precious as to be sold among the ancients to the weight of a silver penny. The gentlemen took his word for the excel¬ lency of this gum, but contented themselves with the olives, which gave such an agreeable relish to the wine, that they 266 THE ADVENTURES OF seemed very well disposed to console themselves for the dis¬ graces they had endured ; and Pickle, unwilling to lose the least circumstance of entertainment that could be enjoyed in their company, went in quest of the painter, who re¬ mained in his penitentials in another apartment, and could not be persuaded to re-enter the banqueting room, until Pe¬ regrine undertook to procure his pardon from those whom he had injured. Having assured him of this indulgence, our young gentleman led him in like a criminal, bowing on all hands with an air of humility and contrition ; and par¬ ticularly addressing himself to the count, to whom he swore in English, as God was his Saviour, he had no intent to affront man, woman, or child ; but was fain to make the best of his way, that he might not give the honourable company .cause of offence, by obeying the dictates of nature in their presence. When Pickle interpreted this apology to the Italian, Pallet was forgiven in very polite terms, and even received into favour by his friend the doctor, in consequence of our hero’i intercession ; so that all the guests forgot their chagrin, and paid their respects so piously to the bottle, that, in a short time, the champaign produced very evident effects in the be* baviour of all present. CHAPTER XLV. The painter is persuaded to accompany Pickle to a masquerade in woman s apparel—is engaged in a troublesome adventure, a and, with his companion , conveyed tQ the Bastile . The painter, at the request of Pickle, who had a design upon the count’s sense of hearing, favoured the company with the song of Bumper squire Jones , which yielded infinite satisfaction to the baron; but affected the delicate ears of the Italian in such a manner, that his features expressed astonishment and disquiet; and, by his sudden and repeated journeys to the door, it plainly appeared that he was in the same predicament with those who, as Shakespeare observes^ I PEREGRINE PICKLE. 267 when the bagpipe sings in the nose, cannot, contain their urine for affection. With a view, therefore, of vindicating music from such a barbarous taste, Mr Pallet had no sooner performed his task, than the count honoured his friends with some favourite airs of his own country, which he warbled with infinite grace and expression, though they had not energy sufficient to en¬ gage the attention of the German, who fell fast asleep upon his couch, and snored so loud as to interrupt, and totally an¬ nul, this ravishing entertainment; so that they were fain to have recourse again to the glass, which made such innova¬ tions upon the brain of the physician, that he sung divers odes of Anacrean, to a tune of his own composing, and held forth upon the music and recitative of the ancients with great erudition ; while Pallet, having found means to make the Italian acquainted with the nature of his profession, ha¬ rangued upon painting with wonderful volubility, in a lan¬ guage which (it was well for his own credit) the stranger did not understand. At length the doctor was seized with such a qualm, that he begged Peregrine to lead him to bis chamber; and the baron being waked, retired with the count. Peregrine, being rendered frolicsome with the wine he had drank, proposed that he and Pallet should go to a mas¬ querade, which he recollected was to be given that night. The painter did not want curiosity and inclination to accom¬ pany him, but expressed his apprehension of losing him in the ball, an accident which could not fail to be very disa¬ greeable, as he was an utter stranger to the language and the town. To obviate this objection, the landlady, who was of their council, advised him to appear in a woman’s dress, which would lay his companion under the necessity of attending him with more care, as he could not, with decen¬ cy, detach himself from the lady whom he should introduce ; besides, such a supposed connection would hinder the ladies of pleasure from accosting and employing their seducing arts upon a person already engaged. Our young gentleman, foreseeing the abundance of diver- 268 THE ADVENTURES OP 81011 in the execution of this project, seconded the proposal with such importunity and address, that the painter allowed himself to be habited in a suit belonging to* the landlady, who also procured for him a mask and domino, while Pickle provided himself with a Spanish dr ess. In this disguise, which they put on about eleven o’clock, did they, attended by Pipes, set out in a fiacre for the ball room, into which Pickle led this supposititious temale, to the astonishment of the whole company, who had never seen such an uncouth figure in the appearance of a woman. Alter they had taken a view of all the remarkable masks, and the painter had been treated with a glass of liquor, his mischievous companion gave him the slip, and vanishing in an instant, returned with another mask and a domino over his habit, that he might enjoy Pallet’s perplexity, and be at hand to protect him from insult. The poor painter, having lost his guide, was almost dis¬ tracted with anxiety, and stalked about the room in quest of him, with such huge strides and oddity of gesture, that he was followed by a whole multitude, who gazed at him as a preternatural phenomenon. This attendance increased his uneasiness to such a degree, that he could not help uttering a soliloquy aloud, in which he cursed his fate for having de¬ pended upon the promise of such a wag; and swore, that, if once he was clear of this scrape, he would not bring him¬ self into such a premunire again for the whole kingdom of France. Divers petit-maitres understanding the masque was a fo¬ reigner, who, in all probability, could not speak French, made up to him in their turns, in order to display their wit and address, and teased him with several arch questions, to which he made no other answer than, 6 No jmrly Francy . Damn your chattering !—go about your business, can’t ye i’ Among the masks was a nobleman, who began to be very free with the supposed lady, and attempted to plunge his hand into her bosom : but the painter was too modest to suffer such indecent treatment ; and, when the gallant repeated his efforts in a manner still more indelicate, lent him such a PEREGRINE PICKLE. 269 box on the ear, as made the lights dance before him, and created such a suspicion of Pallet’s sex, that the French¬ man swore he was either a male or hermaphrodite, and in¬ sisted upon a scrutiny, for the sake of his own honour, with such obstinacy of resentment, that the fictitous nymph was in imminent danger, not only of being exposed, but also of undergoing severe chastisement, for having made so free with the prince’s ear; when Peregrine, who saw and overheard every thing that passed, thought it was high time to interpose ; and accordingly asserted nis pretensions to the insulted lady, who was overjoyed at this proof of his pro¬ tection. The affronted gallant persevered in demanding to know who she was, and our hero as strenuously refused to give him that satisfaction : so that high words ensued ;»and the prince threatening to punish his insolence, the young gentle¬ man, who was not supposed to know his quality, pointed to the place where his own sword used to hang; and, snapping his fingers in his face, laid hold on the painter’s arm, and led him to another part of the room, leaving his antagonist to the meditation of his own revenge. Pallet, having chid his conductor for his barbarous de¬ sertion, made him acquainted with the difficulty in which he had been involved, and, flatly telling him he would not put it in his power to give him the slip again, held fast by his arm during the remaining part of the entertainment, to the no small diversion of the company, whose attention was altogether engrossed in the contemplation of such an awk¬ ward, ungainly, stalking apparition. At last, Pickle being tired of exhibiting this raree-show, complied with the re¬ peated desires of his companion, and handed her into the coach; which he himself had no sooner entered, than they were surrounded by a file of musketeers, commanded by an exempt, who, ordering the coach-door to he opened, took his place with great deliberation, while one of his detachment mounted the box, in order to direct the driver, x. Peregrine at once conceived the meaning of this arrest, and it was well for him he had no weapon wherewith to stand 270 THE ADVENTURES OF upon his defence; for sucli was the impetuosity and rashness of his temper,, that, had lie been armed, he would have run all risks rather than surrender himself to any odds whatever ; but Pallet, imagining that the officer was some gentleman who had mistaken their carriage for his own, desired his friend to undeceive the stranger; and when he was inform ed of the real state of their condition, his knees began to shake, his teeth to chatter, and he uttered a most doleful lamentation, importing' his fear of being carried to some hideous dungeon of the Bastile, where he should spend the rest of his days in misery and horror, and never see the light of (jod s sun, nor the face ol a friend, but perish in a foreign land, far removed from his family and connections. Pickle damned him for his pusillanimity ; and the exempt hearing a lady bemoan herself so piteously, expressed his mortifica¬ tion at being the instrument of giving her such pain, and endea\ouied to console them, by representing the lenity of the French government, and the singular generosity of the prince by whose order they were apprehended. Peregrine, whose discretion seemed to forsake him on all such occasions, exclaimed with great bitterness against the arbitrary administration of France, and inveighed, with many expressions of contempt, against the character of the offended prince, whose resentment, far from being noble, he said, was pitiful, ungenerous, and unjust. To this remon- stiance the officei mane no reply, but shrugged up his shoul¬ ders in silent astonishment at the hardiesse of the prisoner; and the fiacie was just on the point of setting out, when they heard the noise of a scuffie, at the back of the coach, and the voice of Tom Pipes, pronouncing, 4 Fll be damn’d if I do.’ Ibis trusty attendant had been desired by one of the guard to descend from his station in the rear, but, as he resolved to share Ins master s fate, he took no notice of their entreaties, until they were seconded by force; and that he endeavoured to repel with his heel, which lie applied with such energy to the jaws of the soldier who first came in contact with him, that they emitted a crashing sound like a dried walnut be¬ tween the guilders ol a templar m the pit. Exasperated at PEREGRINE PICKLE. 271 ibis outrage, the other saluted Tom’s posteriors with his bay¬ onet, which incommoded him so much, that he could no longer keep his post, but leaping upon the ground, gave his antagonist a chuck under the chin, which laid him upon his back, and then skipping over him with infinite agility, ab¬ sconded among the crowd of coaches, till he saw the guard mount before and behind upon his master’s fiacre, which no sooner set forward than he followed at a small distance, to reconnoitre the place where Peregrine should be confined. After having proceeded slowly through many windings and turnings, to a part of Paris in which Pipes was an utter stranger, the coach stopped at a great gate, with a wicket in the middle, which being opened at the approach of the car¬ riage, the prisoners were admitted ; and the guard returning with the fiacre. Tom determined to watch in that place all night, that in the morning lie might make such observations as might be conducive to the enlargement of his master. CHAPTER XLVI. By the Jidelity of Pipes, Jolter is informed of his pupil's fate —confers with the physician—applies to the ambassador , who , with great difficulty , obtains the discharge of the pri¬ soners, on certain conditions. This plan he executed, notwithstanding the pain of his wound, and the questions of the city guard, both horse and foot, to which he could make no other answer than 4 An- glois , Anglois and as soon as it was light, taking an accu¬ rate survey of the castle (for such it seemed to be) into which Peregrine and Pedlet had been conveyed, together with its situation in respect to the river, he went home to their lod¬ gings, and waking Mr Jolter, gave him an account of the ad¬ venture. The governor wrung his hands in the utmost grief and consternation, when he heard this unfortunate piece of news; he did not doubt that his pupil was imprisoned in the Bastile for life; and, in the anguish of his apprehension, cursed the day on which lie had undertaken to superintend the conduct of such an imprudent young man, who had, by 272 the adventures op reiterated insults, provoked the vengeance of such a mild forbearing administration. That he might not, however, neglect any means in his power to extricate him from his present misfortune, he dispatched Thomas to the doctor, with an account of his companion's fate, that they might ]oin their interest in behalf of the captives ; and the physi¬ cian being informed of what had happened, immediately dressed himself, and repaired to Jolter, whom he accosted in these words : ‘ Now, Sir, I hope you are convinced of your error, in asserting, that oppression can never be the effect of arbitrary power. Such a calamity as this could never have happened under the Athenian democracy ; nay, even when the tyrant Pisistratus got possession of that commonwealth, he durst not venture to rule with such absolute and unjust dominion. You shall see now that Mr Pickle and my friend Pallet will fall a sacrifice to the tyranny of lawless power ; and, in my opinion, we shall be accessory to the ruin of this poor enslaved people, if we bestir ourselves in demanding or imploring the release of our unhappy countrymen; as we mav thereby prevent the commission of a flagrant crime, which would fill up the vengeance of Heaven against the per¬ petrators, and perhaps be the means of restoring a whole na¬ tion to the unspeakable fruition of freedom. For my own part, I should rejoice to see the blood of my father spilt in such a glorious cause, provided such a victim would furnish me with the opportunity of dissolving the chains of slavery, and vindicating that liberty which is the birthright of man. Then would my name be immortalized among tbe patriot heroes of antiquity, and my memory, like that of Harmo- dius and Aristogiton, be honoured by statues erected at the public expense.’ This rhapsody, which was delivered with great emphasis and agitation, gave so much offence to Jolter, that, without speaking one word, he retired in great wrath to his own chamber, and the republican returned to his lodg¬ ing, in full hope of his prognostic being verified in the death and destruction of Peregrine and the painter, which must give rise to some renowned revolution, wherein he himself would act a principal part. But the governor, whose ima- peregrine pickle. 273 gination was not quite so warm and prolific, went directly to the ambassador, whom he informed of his pupil’s situation, and besought to interpose with the French ministry, that he and the other British subject might obtain their liberty. His excellency asked if Joiter could guess at the cause of his imprisonment, that he might be the better prepared to vindicate or excuse his conduct; but neither he nor Pipes could give the smallest hint of intelligence on that subject; though he furnished himself, from Tom’s own mouth, with a circumstantial account of the manner in which his master had been arrested, as well as of his own behaviour, and the dis¬ aster he had received on that occasion. His lordship never doubted that Pickle had brought this calamity upon himself by some unlucky prank he had played at the masquerade; especially when he understood that the young gentleman had drank freely in the afternoon, and been so whimsical as to go thither with a man in woman’s apparel: and he, that same day, waited on the French minister, in full confidence of obtaining his discharge; but met with more difficulty than he expected, the court of France being extremely punc¬ tilious in every thing that concerns a prince of the blood: the ambassador was therefore obliged to talk in very high terms ; and though the present circumstances of the French politics would not allow them to fall out with the British ad¬ ministration for trifles, all the favour he could procure, was a promise that Pickle should be set at liberty, provided he would ask pardon of the prince to whom he had given of¬ fence. His excellency thought this was but a reasonable con¬ descension, supposing Peregrine to have been in the wrong ; and Joiter was admitted to him, in order to communicate and reinforce his lordship’s advice, which was, that he should comply with the terms proposed. The governor, who did not enter this gloomy fortress without fear and trembling, found his pupil in a dismal apartment, void of all furniture, but a stool and truckle-bed : the moment he was admitted, he perceived the youth whistling with great unconcern, and working with his pencil at the bare wall, on which he had delineated a ludicrous figure, labelled with the name of the Vol. //. s 274 THE ADVENTURES OP nobleman whom he had affronted, and an English mastiff, with his leg lifted up, in the attitude of making water in his shoe. He had been even so presumptuous as to explain the device with satirical inscriptions in the French language, which, when Jolter perused, his hair stood on end with af¬ fright. The very turnkey was confounded and overawed by the boldness of his behaviour, which he had never seen matched by any inhabitant of that place ; and actually joined Ins friend in persuading him to submit to the easy demand of the minister. But our hero, far from embracing the coun¬ sel of this advocate, handed him to the door with great C e- remony, and dismissed him with a kick on the breech ; and to all the supplications, and even tears of Jolter, made no other reply, than that he would stoop to no condescension, because he had committed no crime; but would leave his case to the cognizance and exertion of the British court, whose duty it was to see justice done to its own subjects : he desired, however, that Pallet, who was confined in another place, might avail himself of his own disposition, which was sufficiently pliable. But when the governor desired to see his fellow-prisoner, the turnkey gave him to understand, that he had received no orders relating to the lady, and therefore could not admit him into her apartment ; though he was complaisant enough to tell him, that she seemed very much mortified at her confinement, and at certain times be¬ haved as if her brain was not a little disordered. Jolter, thus bafflled in all his endeavours, quitted the Bastile with a heavy heart, and reported his fruitless negotiation to the ambassador, who could not help breaking forth into some acrimonious expressions against the obstinacy and insolence of the young man, who, he said, deserved to suffer for his foily. Nevertheless, he did not desist from his representa tions to the French ministry, which he found so unyielding, that lie was obliged to threaten, in plain terms, to make it a national concern ; and not only write to his court for in- sti actions, but even advise the council to make reprisals, and send some French gentleman in London to the Tower, vl his intimation had an effect upon the ministry at Ver- PEREGRINE PICKLE. 275 sallies, who, rather than run the risk of incensing a people, whom it was neither their interest nor inclination to disoblige? consented to discharge the offenders, on condition that they should leave Paris in three days after their enlargement* This proposal was readily agreed to bv Peregrine, who was now a little more tractable, and heartily tired of being coop¬ ed up in such an uncomfortable abode, for the space of three long days, without any sort of comm unication or en¬ tertainment but that which his own imagination suggested. CHAPTER XLVII. Peregrine makes himself merry at the expence of the painter , who curses his landlady , and breaks with the doctor. As he could easily conceive the situation of his companion in adversity, he was unwilling to leave the place until he had reaped some diversion from his distress, and with that view repaired to the dungeon of the afflicted painter, to which he had by this time fr.ee access. When he entered, the first object that presented itself to his eye was so uncom¬ monly ridic ulous, that he could scarce preserve that gravity of countenance which he had affected in order to execute the joke he had planned. The forlorn Pallet sat upright in his bed, in a dishabille that was altogether extraordinary.] He had laid aside his monstrous hoop, together with his stays, gown, and petticoat, wrapped his lappets about his head by way of night-cap, and wore his domino as a loose morn¬ ing dress; his grizzled locks hung down about his lack¬ lustre eyes and tawny neck, in all the disorder of negli¬ gence; his grey beard bristled about half an inch through the remains of the paint with which his visage had been be¬ daubed, and every feature of his face was lengthened to the most ridiculous expression of grief and d ismay. Seeing Pere¬ grine come in, he started up in a sort of frantic ecstacy, and, running towards him with open arms, no sooner perceived the woful appearance into which our hero had modelled his physiognomy, than lie stopped short all of a sudden, and 276 THE ADVENTURES OP the joy which had begun to take possession of his heart was in a moment dispelled by the most rueful presages; so that lie stood in a most ludicrous posture of dejection, like a ma¬ lefactor at the Old Bailey, when sentence is about to be pro¬ nounced. Pickle, taking him by the hand, heaved a pro¬ found sigh, and, after having protested that he was extremely mortified at being pitched upon as the messenger of bad news, told him, with an air of sympathy and infinite con¬ cern, that the French court, having discovered his sex, had resolved, in consideration of the outrageous indignity he of¬ fered in public to a prince of the blood, to detain him in the Bastile a prisoner for life ; and that this sentence was a mi¬ tigation obtained by the importunities of the British ambas¬ sador, the punishment ordained by law being no other than breaking alive upon the wheel. These tidings aggravated the horrors of the painter to such a degree, that he roared aloud, and skipped about the room in all the extravagance of distraction ; taking God and man to witness, that he would rather suffer immediate death than endure one year’s im¬ prisonment in such a hideous place; and cursing the hour of his birth, and the moment in which he departed from his own country. For my own part (said his tormentor, in a hypocritical tone), I was obliged to swallow the bitter pill of making submissions to the prince, who, as I had not pre¬ sumed to strike him, received acknowdedgments, in conse¬ quence of which I will be this day set at liberty ; and there is even one expedient left for the recovery of your freedom. It is, I own, a disagreeable remedy ; but one had better un¬ dergo a little mortification than be for ever wretched. Be¬ sides, upon second thoughts, I begin to imagine that you will not, tor such a trifle, sacrifice yourself to the unceasing hor¬ rors of a solitary dungeon, especially as your condescension will, in all probability, be attended with advantages which you could not otherwise enjoy. Pallet, interrupting him with great eagerness, begged for the love of God that he would no longer keep him in the torture of suspense, but mention that same remedy, which he was resolved to swallow, let it be never so unpalatable. PEREGRINE PICKLE. 277 Peregrine, having thus played upon his passions of fear and hope, answered, that as the offence was committed in the habit of a woman, which was a disguise unworthy of the other sex, the French court was of opinion that the delinquent should be reduced to the neuter gender ; so that there was an alternative in his own option, by which he had it in his power to regain immediate freedom. 6 What!’ cried the painter, in despair, 6 become a singer? gadzooks ! and the devil and. all that; I’ll rather lie still where I am, and let myself be de¬ voured by vermin.’ Then, thrusting out his throat, 6 here is my wind-pipe,’ said he ‘be so good, my dear friend, as to give it a slice or two ; if you don’t, I shall one of these days be found dangling in my garters. What an unfortunate rascal I am ! what a blockhead, and a beast, and a fool, was I, to trust myself among such a barbarous ruffian race ! Lord forgive you, Mr. Pickle, for having been the immediate cause of my disaster; if you had stood by me from the be¬ ginning, according to your promise, I should not have been teased by that coxcomb who has brought me to this pass* And why did I put on this damn’d unlucky dress ? Lard curse that chattering Jezebel of a landlady, who advised such a preposterous disguise ! a disguise which hath not on¬ ly brought me to this pass, but also rendered me abomi¬ nable to myself, and frightful to others; for when I this morning signified to the turnkey that I wanted to be shaved, he looked at my beard with astonishment, and, crossing , himself, muttered his pater-noster, believing me (I suppose) to be a witch, or something worse. And Heaven confound that loathsome banquet of the ancients, which provoked me to drink too freely, that I might wash away the taste of that accursed sillykickaby.’ Our young gentleman, having heard his lamentation to an end, excused himself for his conduct, by representing, that he could not possibly foresee the disagreeable consequences that attended it; and, in the mean time, strenuously counsel¬ led him to submit to the terms of his enlargement. He ob- served, that he was now arrived at that time of life, when the lusts of the flesh should be entirely mortified within him, V 278 THE ADVENTURES OP and his greatest concern ought to be the health ol his soui, O O to which nothing could more effectually contribute than the amputation which was proposed ; that his body, as well as his mind, would profit by the change, because he would have no dangerous appetite to gratify, and no carnal thoughts to divert him from the duties of his profession ; and his voice, which was naturally sweet, would improve to such a degree, that lie would captivate the ears of all the people of fashion and taste, and in a little time be celebrated under the appel lation of the English Sencsino. These arguments did not fail to make an impression upon the painter, who nevertheless started two objections to his compliance ; namely the disgrace of the punishment, and the dread of his wife. Fickle undertook to obviate these difficulties, by assuring him that the sentence would be ex¬ ecuted so privately as never to transpire ; and that his wife could not be so unconscionable, alter so many years of coha¬ bitation, as to take exceptions to an expedient, by which she would not only enjoy the conversation of her husband, but even the fruits of those talents, which the knife would so remarkably refine. Pallet shook his head at this last remonstrance, as if he thought it would not be altogether convincing to his spouse ; but yielded to the proposal, provided her consent could be obtained. Just as he signified this condescension, the jailor entered, and addressing himself to the supposed lady, expres¬ sed his satisfaction in having the honour to tell her, that she was no longer a prisoner. As the painter did not under¬ stand one word of what lie said, Peregrine undertook the office of interpreter, and made his friend believe the jailor s speech was no other than an intimation, that the ministry had sent a surgeon to execute what was proposed, and that the instruments and dressings were prepared in the next room. Alarmed and terrified at this sudden appointment, lie flew|to the other end of the room, and, snatching up an earthen chamber-pot, which .was the only offensive weapon in the place, put himself in a posture of defence, and, with many oaths, threatened to try the temper of the barber s skull",if he should presumeto set his nose within the apartment. PEREGRINE PICKLE. 279 The jailor, who little expected such a reception, conclud¬ ed that the poor gentlewoman had actually lost her wits, and retreated with precipitation, leaving the door open as he went out. Upon which Pickle, gathering up the particulars of his dress with great dispatch, crammed them into Pallet’s arms, and, taking notice that now the coast was clear, ex¬ horted him to follow his footsteps to the gate, where a hack¬ ney coach stood for his reception. There being no time for hesitation, the painter took his advice, and, without quitting the utensil, which, in his hurry, he forgot to lay down, sal¬ lied out in the rear of our hero, with all that wildness of ter¬ ror and impatience which may be reasonably supposed to take possession of a man who Hies from perpetual imprison¬ ment. Such was the tumult of his agitation, that his faculty of thinking was for the present utterly overwhelmed, and he saw no object but his conductor, whom he followed by a sort of instinctive impulse, without regarding the keepers and sentinels, who, as he passed, with his clothes under one arm, and his chamber-pot brandished above his head, were coii j founded, and even dismayed, at the strange apparition. D uring the whole course of this irruption, he ceased not to cry, with great vociferation, 6 Drive, coachman, drive in the name of God f And the carriage had proceeded the length of a whole street, before he manifested the least sign of reflection, but stared like the gorgon’s head, with his mouth wide open, and each particular hair crawling and twining like an animated serpent. At length, however, he began to recover the use of his senses, and asked if Peregrine thought him out of all danger of being retaken. This unrelenting wag, not yet satisfied with the affliction he had imposed up¬ on the sufferer, answered, with an air of doubt and concern, that lie hoped they would not be overtaken, and prayed to God they might not be retarded by a stop of carriages. Pal¬ let fervently joined in this supplication, and they advanced a few yards further, when the noise of a coach at full speed behind them invaded their ears; and Pickle, having looked out of the window, withdrew his head in seeming confu¬ sion, and exclaimed, < Lord have mercy upon us! I wish TI1E ADVENTURES OF 280 tliat may not be a guard sent after us. Methinks I saw the muzzle of a fusil sticking out of the coach.’ The painter, hearing these tidings, that instant thrust himself half out at the window, with his helmet still in his hand, bellowing to the coachman, as loud as he could roar, 4 Drive! damn ) e * drive to the gates of Jericho, and ends of the earth ! Drive youraggamuffin, you rascallion,you hell-hound ! drive us to the pit of hell, rather than we should be taken P Such a phantom could not pass without attracting the cu¬ riosity of the people, who ran to the doors and windows, in order to behold this object of admiration. With the same view, that coach, which was supposed to be in pursuit of him, stopped just as the windows of each happened to be opposite ; and Pallet, looking behind, and seeing three men stanoing upon the foot-board, armed with canes, which his iear converted into fusils, never doubted that his friend’s sus¬ picion was just; but, shaking his jordan at the imaginary guard, swore he would sooner die than part with his precious waie. I lie owner of the coach, who was a nobleman of the iust quality, mistook him for some unhappy woman depriv¬ ed of her senses; and, ordering his coachman to proceed, convinced the fugitive, to his infinite joy, that this was no more than a false alarm. He was not, for all that, freed Horn anxiety and trepidation; but our young gentleman, fearing his brain would not bear a repetition of the same joke, permitted him to gain his own lodgings, without fur¬ ther molestation. His landlady, meeting him on the stair, was so affected at his appearance, that she screamed aloud, and betook herself to flight; while he, cursing her with great bitterness, rushed into the apartment of the doctor, who, instead of re ceiving him with cordial embraces, and congratulating him upon his deliverance, gave evident tokens of umbrage and oiseontent; and even plainly told him, he hoped to have heard that he and Mr Pickle had acted the glorious part of Cato an event which would have laid the foundation of such noble struggles, as could not fail to end in hap¬ piness and freedom ; and that he had already made some PEREGRINE PICKLE. 281 progress in an ode that would have immortalized their names, and inspired the flame of liberty in every honest breast.—- ‘ There , 1 said he, I would have proved, that great talents, and high sentiments of liberty, do reciprocally produce and assist each other; and illustrated my assertions with such notes and quotations from the Greek writers, as would have opened the eyes of the most blind and unthinking, and touch¬ ed the most callous and obdurate heart. O fool! to think the man , whose ample mind must grasp whatever ponder stars survey. —Pray,Mr Pallet, what is your opinion of that image of the mind’s grasping the whole universe? For my own part, I can’t help thinking it the most happy conception that ever entered my imagination.’ The painter, who was not such a flaming enthusiast in the cause of liberty, could not brook the doctor’s reflections, which he thought savoured a little too much of indifference and deficiency in point of private friendship ; and therefore seized the present opportunity of mortifying his pride, by observing, that the image was, without all doubt, very grand and magnificent; but that he had been obliged for the idea to Mr Bayes, in the Rehearsal, who values himself upon the same figure, conveyed in these words, But all these clouds , when by the eye of reason grasp'd, <$fC. Upon any other occasion, the painter would have triumphed greatly in this detection ; but such was the flutter and confusion of his spi¬ rits, under the apprehension of being retaken, that, without further communication, he retreated to his own room, in order to resume his own dress, which he hoped would alter his appearance in such a manner as to baffle all search and examination : while the physician remained ashamed and abashed, to find himself convicted of bombast by a person of such contemptible talents. He was offended at this proof of his memory, and so much enraged at his presumption in exhibiting it, that he could never forgive his want of reve¬ rence, and took every opportunity of exposing his ignorance and folly in the sequel. Indeed the ties of private affection were too weak to engage the heart of this republican, whose zeal for the community had entirely swallowed up his con- THE ADVENTURES OF .282 cern for individuals. He looked upon particular friendships as a passion unworthy of his ample soul, and was a professed admirer of L. Manlius, Junius Brutus, and those later patriots of the same name, who shut their ears against the cries of na¬ ture, and resisted all the dictates of gratitude and humanity. CHAPTER XLVIII. Pallet conceives a hearty contempt of his fellow-traveller, and attaches himself to Pickle, who , nevertheless persecutes him with his mischievo7is talents upon the road to Flanders. In the mean time his companion having employed divers pails full of water, in cleansing himself from the squalor of a jail, submitted his face to the barber, tinged his eye-brows with a sable hue, and, being dressed in his own clothes, ventured to visit Peregrine, who was still under the hands of his valet de chambre, and who gave him to understand, that his escape had been connived at, and that the condition of their de¬ liverance was their departure from Paris in three davs. The painter was transported with joy, when he learnt that he ran no risk of being retaken ; and, far from repining at the terms of his enlargement, would have willingly set out on his return to England that same afternoon ; for the Bas- tiie had made such an impression upon him, that he started at the sound of every coach, and turned pale at sight of a French soldier. In the fullness of his heart, he complained of the doctor’s indifference, and related what had passed at their meeting, with evident marks of resentment and disre¬ spect ; which were not at all diminished, when Jolter inform¬ ed him of the physician’s behaviour, when he sent for him to confer about the means of abridging their confinement. Pickle himself was incensed at his want of bowels ; and, per¬ ceiving how much he had sunk in the opinion of his fellow- traveller, resolved to encourage these sentiments of disgust, and occasionally foment the division to a downright quarrel, which he foresaw would produce some diversion, and perhaps expose the poet’s character in such a light as would effectual¬ ly punish him for his arrogance and barbarity. With this PEREGRINE PICKLE. ms View, he levelled several satirical jokes at the doctor’s pe¬ dantry and taste, which had appeared so conspicuous in the quotations he had got by heart from ancient authors ; in his affected disdain of tne best pictures in the world, which, had he been endowed with the least share of discernment, he could not have beheld with such insensibility ; and, lastly, in his ridiculous banquet, which none but an egregious cox¬ comb, devoid of all elegance and sense, would have prepared, or presented to rational beings. In a word, our young gen¬ tleman played the artillery of his wit against him with such success, that the painter seemed to wake from a dream, and went home with the most hearty contempt for the per¬ son he had formerly adored. i Instead of using the privilege of a friend, to enter his apart¬ ment without ceremony, he sent in his servant with a mes sap’e, importing, that he intended to set out from Paris next day, in company with Mr Pickle, and desiring to know whether or not he was or would be prepared for the journey. The doctor, struck with the manner, as well as the matter, of this intimation, went immediately to Pallet’s room, and de¬ manded to know the cause of such a sudden determination, without his privity or concurrence; and when he understood the necessity of their affairs, rather than travel by himself, lie ordered his baggage to be packed up, and signified his readiness to conform to the emergency of the case; though, he was not at all pleased with the cavalier behaviour of Pallet, to whom he threw out some hints of his own importance, and the immensity of his condescension, in favouring him with such marks of regard. But by this time these insinua¬ tions bad lost their effect upon the painter, who told him, with an arch sneer, that he did not at all question his learn¬ ing and abilities, and particularly bis skill in cookery, which he should never forget while his palate retained its function ; but nevertheless advised him, for the sake of the degenerate eaters of these days, to spare a little o« his sal aimotuae in the next sillykickaby he should prepare, and bate somewhat of the devil’s dung, which he had so plentiful! e> ammea in¬ fo the roasted fowls, unless he had a mind to converts his 284 THE ADVENTURES OF guests into patients, with a view of licking himself whole for the expense of the entertainment. The physician, nettled at these sarcasms, eyed him witli a look of indignation and disdain ; and, being unwilling to express himself in English, lest, in the course of the alter¬ cation, Pallet should be so much irritated as to depart with¬ out him, he vented his anger in Greek. The painter, though, by the sound, he supposed this quotation to be Greek, complimented his friend upbn his knowledge in the Welch language, and found means to rally him quite out of temper; so that he retired to his own chamber in the ut¬ most wrath and mortification, and left his antagonist exult¬ ing over the victory he had won. While those things passed between these originals, Pere¬ grine waited upon the ambassador, whom he thanked for his kind interposition, acknowledging the indiscretion of his own conduct, with such appearance of conviction and promises of reformation, that his excellency freely forgave him for all the trouble he had been put to on his account, fortified him with sensible advices, and, assuring him of his continual favour and friendship, gave him, at parting, letters of introduction to several persons of quality belonging to the British court. Thus distinguished, our young gentleman took leave of all his French acquaintance, and spent the evening with some of those who had enjoyed the greatest share of his in¬ timacy and confidence ; while Jolter superintended his do¬ mestic concerns, and, with infinite joy, bespoke a post-chaise and horses, in order to convey him from a place where he lived m continual apprehension of suffering by the dangerous disposition of his pupil. Every thing being adjusted ac¬ cording to their plan, they and their fellow-travellers next day dined together, and, about four in the afternoon, took their departure in two chaises, escorted by the valet de chambre, Pipes, and the doctor’s lacquey, on horseback, weli furnished with arms and ammunition, in case of being attacked by robbers on the road. It was about eleven o’clock at night when they arrived at Senlis, which was the place at which they proposed to lodge, PEREGRINE PICKLE. 285 find where they were obliged to knock up the people of the inn, before they could have their supper prepared. All the provision in the house was but barely sufficient to furnish one indifferent meal: however, the painter consoled himself for the quantity with the quality of the dishes, one of which was a fricassee of rabbit, a preparation which he valued above all the dainties that ever smoked upon the table of the su m p t u ou sHel iogaba 1 u s. He had no sooner expressed himself to this effect, than our hero, who was almost incessantly laying traps for di¬ version at his neighbours'’ expense, laid hold on the declara¬ tion ; and, recollecting the story of Scipio and the muleteer in Gil Bias, resolved to perpetrate a joke upon the stomach of Pallet, which seemed particularly well disposed to an hearty supper. He accordingly digested his plan ; and, the company being seated at table, affected to gaze with peculiar eagerness at the painter, who had helped himself to a large portion of the fricassee, and began to swallow it with infinite relish. Pallet, notwithstanding the keenness of his appetite, could not help taking notice of Pickle’s demeanour; and, making a short pause in the exercise of his grinders, ‘ You are surprised,’ said he, 4 to see me make so much dispatch: but I was extremely hungry, and this is one of the best fri¬ cassees I ever tasted: the French are very expert in these dishes, that I must allow'; and, upon my conscience, I would never desire to eat a more delicate rabbit than this that lies upon ray plate.’ Peregrine made no other reply to this encomium, than the repetition of the word 4 rabbit!’ with a note of admiration, and such a significant shake of the head, as effectually alarm¬ ed the other, who instantly suspended the action of his jaws, and, with the morsel half chewed in his mouth, stared round him with a certain solidity of apprehension, which is easier conceived than described, until his eyesencountered the coun¬ tenance of Thomas Pipes, who being instructed, and posted opposite to him for the occasion, exhibited an arch grin, that completed the painter’s disorder. Afraid of swallowing bis mouthful, and ashamed to dispose of it any other way, he 286 THE ADVENTURES OF sat some time in a most distressed state of suspense ; and, being questioned by Mr Jolter touching bis calamity, made a violent effort of the muscles of his gullet, which with dif¬ ficulty performed their office, and then, with great confusion and concern, asked if Mr Pickle suspected the rabbit’s identity. The young gentleman, assuming a mysterious air, pretended ignorance of the matter; observing, that he was apt to suspect all dishes of that kind, since he had been informed of the tricks which were commonly played at inns in France, Italy, and Spain, and recounted that passage in Gil Bias, which we have hinted at above, saying, he did not pretend to be a connoisseur in animals, but the legs of the creature which composed that fricassee, did not, in his opi¬ nion, resemble those of the rabbits he had usually seen. This observation had an evident effect upon the features of the painter, who, with certain signs of loathing and astonish¬ ment, exclaimed, ‘ Lord Jesus !’ and appealed to Pipes for a discovery of the truth, by asking if he knew any thing of the affair. Tom very gravely replied, that he did suppose the food was wholesome enough, for he had seen the skin and feet of a special ram-cat, new flea’d hanging upon the door of a small pantry adjoining to the kitchen. Before this sentence was uttered, Pallet’s belly seemed to move in contact with his back-bone, his colour changed, no part but the white of his eyes were to be seen, he dropped his lower jaw, and fixing his hands in his sides, retched with such convulsive agonies, as amazed and disconcerted the whole company ; and what augmented his disorder, was the tenacious retention of his stomach, which absolutely re¬ fused to part with its contents, notwithstanding all the en¬ ergy of his abhorrence, which threw him into a cold sweat, and almost into a swoon. Pickle, alarmed at his condition, assured him it was a genuine rabbit, and that he had tutored Pipes to say other¬ wise, for the joke’s sake. But this confession lie considered as a friendly artifice of Pickle's compassion, and therefore it had little effect upon his constitution, By the assistance, liowevei, oi a laige bumper of brandy, his spirits were re- PEREGRINE PICKLE. 287 cruited, and his recollection so far recovered, that he was able to declare, with divers contortions of face, that the dish had a particular rankness of taste which he had imputed partly to the nature of the French coney, and partly to the com¬ position of their sauces : then he inveighed against the in¬ famous practices of French publicans, attributing such im¬ position to their oppressive government, which kept them so necessitous, that they were tempted to exercise all manner of knavery upon their unwary guests. Jolter, who could not find in his heart to let slip any op¬ portunity of speaking in favour of the French, told him, * that he was a very great stranger to their police, else he would know, that, if upon information to the magistrate, it should appear that any traveller, native or foreigner, had been imposed upon or ill-treated by a publican, the offender would be immediately obliged to shut up bis house; and, if his behaviour bad been notorious, he himself would be sent to the galleys, without the least hesitation ; and, as for the dish which has been made the occasion of your present disor¬ der, 1 said he, 4 I will take upon me to affirm it was prepared of a genuine rabbit which was skinned in my presence ; and, in confirmation of what I assert, though such fricassees are not the favourite of my taste, I will eat a part of this with out scruple. 1 So saying, he swallowed several mouthfuls of the questioned coney, and Pallet seemed to eye it again with inclination ; nay, he even resumed his knife and fork, and, being just on the point of applying them, was seized with another qualm of apprehension, that broke out in an excla¬ mation of, 4 After all, Mr Jolter, if it should be a real ram- cat—Lord have mercy upon me ! here is one of the claws. 1 With these words he presented the tip of a toe, of which Pipes had snipped off* five or six from a duck that was roast¬ ed, and purposely scattered them in the fricassee ; and the governor could not behold this testimonial without symptoms of uneasiness and remorse ; so that he and the painter sat silenced ahd abashed, and made faces at each other ; while the physician, who hated them both, exulted over their af¬ fliction, bidding them be of good cheer,and proceed with their 28S THE ADVENTURES OP meal; for he was ready to demonstrate, that the flesh of a cat was as nourishing and delicious as veal or mutton, pro¬ vided they could prove that the said cat was not of the boar- kind, and had fed chiefly on vegetable diet, or even confined its carnivorous appetite to rats and mice, which he affirmed to be dainties of exquisite taste and flavour. He said, it was a vulgar mistake to think that all flesh-devouring creatures were unfit to be eaten ; witness the consumption of swine and ducks, animals that delight in carnage, as well as fish, which prey upon each other, and feed on bait and carrion ; together with the demand for bear, of which the best hams in the world arc made. He then observed, that the negroes on the coast of Guinea, who are healthy and vigorous people, prefer cats and dogs to all other fare; and mentioned from history several sieges, during which the inhabitants, who w ere blocked up, lived upon these animals, and had recourse even to human flesh, which, to his certain knowledge, was in all respects preferable to pork ; for, in the course of his studies, he had, for the experiment’s sake, eaten a steak cut from the buttock of a person who had been hanged. This dissertation, far from composing, increased the dis¬ quiet in the stomachs of the governor and painter, who, hear¬ ing the last illustration, turned their eyes upon the orator, at the same instant, with looks of horror and disgust; and the one muttering the term cannibal , and the other pronoun¬ cing the word abomination , they rose from table in a great hurry, and, running towards another apartment, jostled with such violence in the passage, that both were overturned by the shock, which also contributed to the effect of their nausea, that mutually defiled them as they lay. CHAPTER XLIX. Nor is the physician sacred from his ridicule—they reach Arras , where our adventurer engages in play with two French offi~ cers , who next morning give the landlord an interesting proof of their importance. T he doctor remained sullen and dejected during the whole journey—not but that he attempted to recovei his import- PEREGRINE PICKLE. 289 ance, by haranguing upon the Roman highways, when Mr Joiter desired the company to take notice of the fine pave¬ ment upon which they travelled from Paris into Fianders; but Pallet, who thought he had now gained the ascen¬ dency over the physician, exerted himself in maintaining the superiori ty he had acquired, by venting various sarcasms upon his self-conceit and affectation of learning, and even utter¬ ing puns and conundrums upon the remarks which the re¬ publican retailed. When he talked of the Flaminian way the painter questioned if it was a better pavement than the Fleminian way on which they travelled : and the doctor ha¬ ving observed, that this road was made for the convenience of drawing the French artillery into Flanders, which was often the seat of w r ar, his competitor in wit replied, with in¬ finite vivacity, 4 There are more great guns than the French king knows of drawn along this causeway, doctor f Encouraged by the success of these efforts, which tickled the imagination of Joiter, and drew smiles (as he imagined) of approbation from our hero, he sported in many other equivoques of the same nature ; and at dinner told the phy¬ sician, that he was like the root of the tongue, as being cursedly down in the mouth. By this time, such was the animosity subsisting between these quondam friends, that they never conversed together, except with a view of exposing each other to the ridicule or contempt of their fellow-travellers. The doctor was at great pains to point out the folly and ignorance of Pallet in pri¬ vate to Peregrine, who was often conjured in the same man¬ ner by the painter to take notice of the physician’s want of manners and taste. Pickle pretended to acquiesce in the truth of their mutual severity, which indeed was extremely just; and, by malicious insinuation, blew up their contention, with a view of bringing it to open hostility. But both seem¬ ed so averse to deeds of mortal purpose, that for a long time his arts were baffled, and he could not spirit them up to any pitch of resentment higher than scurrilous repartee. Before they reached Arras, the city gates were shut, so that they were obliged to take up their lodging at an indiffer- Vol. II. T 290 THE ADVENTURES OP ent house in the suburbs,where they found a couple of French' officers, who had also rode post from Paris so far on their way to Lisle. These gentlemen were about the age of thirty, and their deportment distinguished by such an air of inso- fence, as disgusted our hero, who nevertheless accosted them politely in the yard, and proposed that they should sup toge¬ ther. They thanked him for the honour of his invitation, which, however, they declined, upon pretence of having ordered something for themselves, but promised to wait upon him and his company immediately after their repast. This they accordingly performed ; and, after having drank a few glasses of Burgundy, one of them asked if the young gentleman would, for pastime, take a hand at quadrille. Pere. grine easily divined the meaning of this proposal, which was made with no other view than that of fleecing him and his fellow-travellers ; for he well knew to what shifts a subaltern, in the French service is reduced, in order to maintain the appearance of a gentleman, and had reason to believe that most of them were sharpers from their youth : but, as he depended a good deal upon his own penetration and address, he gratified the stranger's desire; and a party was instantly formed of the painter, the physician, the proposer, and him¬ self, the other officer having professed himself utterly igno¬ rant of the game ; yet, in the course of the play, he took his station at the back of Pickle’s chair, which was opposite to his friend, on pretence of amusing himself with seeing his manner of conducting the cards. The youth was not such a novice but that he perceived the design of this palpable piece of behaviour, which, notwithstanding, he overlooked for the present, with a view r of flattering their hopes in the begin¬ ning, that they might be the more effectually punished by their disappointment in the end. The game was scarce begun, when, by the reflection of a glass, be discerned the officer at bis back making signs to his companion, who, by these preconcerted gestures, wasper-^ fectly informed of the contents of Peregrine’s band, and of consequence fortunate in the course of the play. Thus they were allowed to enjoy the fruits of their dexts- PEREGRINE PICKLE. 291 rity, until their money amounted to some louis, when our young gentleman, thinking it high time to do himself‘justice, signified, in very polite terms, to the gentleman who stood behind him, that he could never play with ease and delibe¬ ration when he was overlooked by any bystander, and begged that he would have the goodness to be seated. As tins was a remonstrance which the stranger could not with any show of breeding resist, he asked pardon, and re¬ tired to the chair of the physician, who frankly told him, that it was not the fashion of his country for one to submit his hand to the perusal of a spectator; and when, in con¬ sequence of this rebuff, he wanted to quarter himself upon the painter, he was refused by a wave of the hand, and shake of the head, with an exclamation of pardonncz moi ! which was repeated with such emphasis, as discomposed his effrontery, and he found himself obliged to sit down in a state of mortification. The odds being thus removed, fortune proceeded in her usual channel; and though the Frenchman, deprived of' his ally, endeavoured to practise divers strokes of finesse, the rest of the company observed him with such vigilance and cau¬ tion as baffled all his attempts, and in a very little time he was compelled to part with his winning : but having engaged in the match with an intention of taking all advantages, whether fair or unfair, that bis superior skill should give him over the Englishmen, the money was not refunded without a thousand disputes, in the course of which lie essayed to in¬ timidate his antagonist with high words, which were retorted by our hero with such interest, as convinced him that he had mistaken his man, and persuaded him to make his retreat in quiet. Indeed it was not without cause that they repined at the bad success of their enterprise ; because, in all likeli¬ hood, they had nothing to depend upon for the present but their own industry, and knew not how to defray their ex¬ penses on the road, except by some acquisition of this kind. Next morning they rose at day-break, and, resolving to anticipate their fellow-lodgers, bespoke post horses as soon they could be admitted into the city ; so that, when our THE ADVENTURES OP 292 company appeared, their beasts were ready in the yard ; and they only waited to discuss the bill, which they had ordered to be made out. The landlord of the inn presented his carte with fear and trembling to one of those ferocious ca¬ valiers, who no sooner cast his eye on the sum total, than lie discharged a volley of dreadful oaths, and asked if the king’s officers were to be treated in that manner. The poor publican protested, with great humility, that he had the ut<- most respect for his majesty, and every thing that belonged to him ; and that, far from consulting his own interest, all that he desired was to be barely indemnified for the expense of their lodging. This condescension seemed to have no other effect than that of encouraging their arrogance, They swore his extor¬ tion should be explained to the commandant of the town, who would, by making him a public example, teach other inn keepers how to behave towards men of honour ; and threatened with such confidence of indignation, that the wretched landlord, dreading the consequence of their wrath, implored pardon in the most abject manner, begging, with many supplications, that he might have the pleasure of lodging them at his own charge. This was a favour which he with great difficulty obtained ; they chid him severely for his imposition, exhorted him to have more regard for his own conscience, as well as for the convenience of his guests ; and cautioning him in particular touching his behaviour to the gentlemen of the army, mounted their horses, and rode off in great state, leaving him very thankful for having so successfully appeased the choler of two officers, who wanted either inclination or ability to pay their bill; for experience had taught him to be apprehensive of all such travellers, who commonly lay the landlord under contribution, by way of atonement for the extravagance of his demands, even after he has professed his willingness to entertain them on their own terms. peregrine pickle. 293 CHAPTER L. Peregrine moralizes upon their behaviour , which is condemned by the doctor , and defended bp the governor—they arrive in safety at Lisle , dine at an ordinary , visit the citadel—the physician quarrels with a North Briton , who is put in arrest . These honourable adventurers being gone. Peregrine, who was present during the transaction, informed himself of the particulars from the mouth of the innkeeper himself, who took God and the saints to witness, that he should have been a loser by their custom, even if the bill had been paid; be¬ cause he was on his guard against their objections, and had charged every article at an under price: but such was the authority of officers in France, that he durst not dispute the least circumstance of their will; for, had the case come un¬ der the cognizance of the magistrate, he must in course have suffered by the maxims of their government, which never fail to abet the oppression of the army ; and besides run the risk of incurring their future resentment, which would be sufficient to ruin him from top to bottom. Our hero boiled with indignation at this instance of in¬ justice and arbitrary power; and, turning to his governor, asked if this too was a proof of the happiness enjoyed by the French people. Jolter replied, that every human con¬ stitution must in some things be imperfect; and owned, that in this kingdom gentlemen were more countenanced than the vulgar, because it was to be presumed that their own senti¬ ments of honour and superior qualifications would entitle them to this pre-eminence, which had also a retrospective view to the merit of their ancestors, in consideration of which they were at first ennobled: but he affirmed that the inn¬ keeper had misrepresented the magistracy, which in France never failed to punish flagrant outrages and abuse without respect of persons. The painter approved of the wisdom of the French go¬ vernment in bridling the insolence of the mob, by which^ he assured them, he had often suffered in his own person ; THE ADVENTURES OP 294 having been often bespattered by hackney-coachmen, jostled by draymen and porters, and reviled in the most oppro¬ brious terms by the watermen of London, where he had once lost his bag and a considerable quantity of hair, which had been cut off by some rascal in his passage through Ludgate, during the lord mayor’s procession. On the other hand, the doctor, with great warmth, alleged, that those officers ought to suffer death, or banishment at least, for having plundered the people in this manner, which was so impudent and barefaced, as plainly to prove they were cer¬ tain of escaping with impunity, and that they were old offenders in the same degree of delinquency. He said, that the greatest man in Athens would have been condemned to perpetual exile, and seen his estate confiscated for public use, had he dared in such a licentious manner to violate the rights of a fellow-citizen ; and as for the little affronts to which a man may be subject from the petulance of the multitude, he looked upon them as glorious indications of liberty, which ought not to be repressed, and would at any time re¬ joice to find himself overthrown in a kennel by the insolence of a son of freedom, even though the fall should cost him a limb; adding, by way of illustration, that the greatest plea¬ sure he ever enjoyed was in seeing a dustman wilfully over¬ turn a gentleman’s coach, in which two ladies were bruised, even to the danger of their lives. Pallet, shocked at the ex¬ travagance of this declaration,—< If that be the case,’ said he, { I wish you may see every bone in your body broke by the first carman you meet in the streets of London.’ This argument being discussed, and the reckoning dis¬ charged without any deduction, although the landlord, in stydng the articles, had an eye to the loss lie had sustained b}j his own countrymen, they departed from Arras, and ar¬ rived in safety at Lisle, about two o’clock in the afternoon. 1 They had scarce taken possession of their lodgings, in a jfu'ge hotel in the Grande Place, when the innkeeper gave ’'them to understand, that he kept an ordinary below, which was frequented by several English gentlemen who resided in tmyn 5 and that dinner was then upon the table. Peregrine, PEREGRINE PICKLE. 295 who seized all opportunities of observing new characters, persuaded his company to dine in public ; and they were accordingly conducted to the place, where they found a mix¬ ture of Scotch and Dutch officers, who had come from Hol¬ land to learn their exercises at the academy, and some gen¬ tlemen in the French service, who were upon garrison duty in the citadel. Among these last was a person about the age of fifty, of a remarkably genteel air and polite address, dignified with a Maltese cross, and distinguished by the par¬ ticular veneration of all those who knew him. When he understood that Pickle and his friends were travellers, he accosted the youth in English, which he spoke tolerably w'ell; and, as they were strangers, offered to attend them in the afternoon to all the places worth seeing in Lisle. Our hero thanked him for his excess of politeness, which (he said) was peculiar to the French nation ; and, struck with his en¬ gaging appearance, industriously courted his conversation, in the course of which he learned that this chevalier was a man of good sense and great experience, that he was per¬ fectly well acquainted with the greatest part of Europe, had lived some years in England, and was no stranger to the constitution and genius of that people. Having dined, and drank to the healths of the English and French kings, two fiacres were called, in one of which the knight, with one of his companions, the governor, and Peregrine, seated themselves, the other being occupied by the physician, Pallet, and two Scottish officers, who proposed to accompany them in their circuit. The first place they vi¬ sited was the citadel, round the ramparts of which they walked, under the conduct of the knighUwho explained with great accuracy the intention of every particular fortifica¬ tion belonging to that seemingly impregnable fortress ; and, ■when they had satisfied their curiosity, took coach again, in order to view the arsenal, which stands in another quarter of the town; but, just as Pickle’s carriage had crossed the pro¬ menade, he heard his own name bawled aloud by the painter ; and, ordering the fiacre to stop, saw Pallet with one half of his body thrust out at the window of the other coach, cry- 296 THE ADVENTURES OF ing, with a terrified look, c Mr Pickle ! Mr Pickle! for the love of God halt, and prevent bloodshed, else here will be carnage and cutting of throats.’ Peregrine, surprised at this exclamation, immediately alighted, and, advancing to the other vehicle, found one of their military companions stand¬ ing upon the ground at the further side of the coach, with his sword drawn, and fury in his countenance; and the pnysician, with a quivering lip and haggard aspect, strug¬ gling with the other, who had interposed in the quarrel, and detained him in his place. Our young gentleman, upon inquiry, found that this ani¬ mosity had sprung from a dispute that happened upon the ramparts, touching the strength of the fortification, which the doctor, according to custom, undervalued, because it was a modern work ; saying, that, by the help of the mili¬ tary engines used among the ancients, and a few thousands ol pioneers, he would engage to take it in less than ten days after he should sit down before it. The North Briton, who was as great a pedant as the physician, having studied for¬ tification, and made himself master of Caesar’s Commentaries and Polybius, with the observations of Polard, affirmed, that all the methods of besieging practised by the ancients would be utterly ineffectual against such a plan as that of the cita¬ del of Lisle ; and began to compare the vinea, aggeres , anetes , scorpiones , and calapulta of the Romans, with the trenches, mines, batteries, and mortars used in the pre¬ sent art of war. The republican, finding himself attacked upon what he thought his strong side, summoned all his learning to his aid ; and, describing the famous siege of I lata?a, happened to misquote a passage of Thucydides, in which he was corrected by the other, who having been edu¬ cated for the church, was also a connoisseur in the Greek language. The doctor, incensed at being detected in such a blunder, in presence of Pallet, who, he knew, would promul¬ gate his shame, told the officer, with great arrogance, that his objection was frivolous, and that he must not pretend to dispute on these matters with one who had considered them with the utmost accuracy and care. His antagonist, piqued 4 PEREGRINE PICKLE. 297 i at this supercilious insinuation, replied, with great beat, that, for aught he knew, the doctor might be a very expert apothecary, but that, in the art of war, and knowledge in the Greek tongue, he was no other than an ignorant pretender. This asseveration produced an answer full of virulence, in¬ cluding a national reflection upon the soldier’s country ; and the contention rose to mutual abuse, when it was suppressed by the admonitions of the other two, who begged they would not expose themselves iu a strange place, but behave them¬ selves like fellow-subjects and friends. They accordingly ceased reviling each other, and the affair was seemingly for¬ got ; but after they had resumed their places in the coach, the painter unfortunately asked the meaning of the word tortoise , which he had heard them mention among the Kg- man implements of war. This question was answered by the physician, who described the nature of this expedient so little to the satisfaction of the officer, that he contradicted him flatly, in the midst of his explanation ; a circumstance which provoked the republican to such a degree, that, in the temerity of his passion, he uttered the epithet impertinent scoundrel; which was no sooner pronounced than the Cale¬ donian made manual application to his nose, and, leaping out of the coach, stood waiting for him on the plain ; while he (the physician) made feeble efforts to join him, being easily retained by the other soldier; and Pallet, dreading the consequence, in which he himself might be involved, bellowed aloud for prevention. Our hero endeavoured to quiet the commotion, by repre¬ senting to the Scot, that he had already taken satisfaction for the injury he had received, and telling the doctor that he had deserved the chastisement which was inflicted upon him : but the officer (encouraged perhaps by the confusion of his antagonist) insisted upon his asking pardon for what he had said; and the doctor believing himself under the protection of his friend Pickle, far from agreeing to such concession, breathed nothing but defiance and revenge ; so that the che¬ valier, in order to prevent mischief, put the soldier under arrest, and sent him to his lodgings, under the care of the 298 THE ADVENTURES OF other French gentleman and his own companion ; they being also accompanied by Mr Jolter, who, having formerly seen all the curiosities of Lisle, willingly surrendered his place to the physician. CHAPTER LI. Pickle engages with a knight o f Malta in a conversation upon the English stage , which is followed by a dissertation on the theatres of the ancients , by the doctor. 1 he rest of the company proceeded to the arsenal, which having viewed, together with some remarkable churches, they, in their return, went to the comedy, and saw the Cid of Corneille tolerably well represented. In consequence of this entertainment, the discourse at supper turned upon dra¬ matic performances ; and all the objections of Mons. de Scu- dery to the piece they had seen acted, together with the de¬ cision of the French academy, were canvassed and discussed. T. lie knight was a man of letters and taste, and particularly well acquainted with the state of the English stage; so that when the painter boldly pronounced sentence against the French manner of acting, on the strength of having f re - quented a Covent-Garden Club of critics, and been often admitted, by virtue of an order, into the pit, a comparison immediately ensued, not between the authors but the actors of both nations, to whom the chevalier and Peregrine were no strangers. Our hero, like a good Englishman, made no scruple of giving the preference to the performers of his own country, who, lie alleged, obeyed the genuine impulses of nature, in exhibiting the passions of the human mind ; and entered so warmly into the spirit of their several parts, that they often fancied themselves the very heroes they represent¬ ed ; whereas the action of the Parisian players, even in their most interesting characters, was generally such an extrava¬ gance in voice and gesture, as is nowhere to be observed but on the stage. To illustrate this assertion, he availed himself of his talents, and mimicked the jmanner and voice of all the PEREGRINE PICKLE. 299 principal performers,male and female,belonging to tlieFreneh comedy, to the admiration of the chevalier, who, having com¬ plimented him upon his surprising modulation, begged leave to dissent in some particulars from the opinion he had avow¬ ed. 6 That you have good actors in England, 1 said he, c it would be unjust and absurd in me to deny ; your theatre is adorned by one woman, whose sensibility and sweetness of voice is such as I have never observed on any other stage ; she has, besides, an elegance of person and expression of features, that wonderfully adapt her for the most engaging characters of your best plays; and I must freely own that 1 have been as highly delighted and as deeply affected by a Monimia and Belvidera at London, as ever I was by a Cor¬ nelia and Cleopatra at Paris. Your favourite actor is a sur¬ prising genius. You can, moreover, boast of several comic actors, who are perfect masters of buffoonery and grimace ; though, to be free with you, I think, in these qualifications, you are excelled by the players of Amsterdam. Yet one of your gratiosos I cannot admire, in all the characters he as¬ sumes. His utterance is a continual sing-song, like the pliant* ing of vespers, and his action resembles that of heaving bal¬ last into the hold of a ship. In his outward deportment he seems to have confounded the ideas of dignity and insolence of mien; acts the crafty, cool, designing Crookback, as a loud, shallow, blustering Hector; in the character of the mild patriot Brutus he loses all temper and decorum; nay, so ridiculous is the behaviour of him and Cassius at their in¬ terview, that, setting foot o foot, and grinning at each other, with the aspect of two cobblers enraged, they thrust their left sides together with repeated shocks, that the hilts of their swords may clash for the entertainment of the audience, as if they were a couple of merry-andrews, endeavouring to raise the laugh of the vulgar, on some scaffold at Bartholemew fair. The despair of a great man, who falls a sacrifice to the infernal practices of a subtle traitor that enjoyed bis confi¬ dence, this English iEsopus represents, by beating bis own forehead, and bellowing like a bull; and indeed, in almost fill his most interesting scenes, performs such strange sha- 300 THE ADVENTURES OF kings of the head, and other antic gesticulations, that, when I first saw him act, I imagined the poor man laboured under that paralytica] disorder which is known by the name of St Vitus’s dance. In short, he seems to be a stranger to the more refined sensations of the soul, consequently his expres¬ sion is of the vulgar kind, and he must often sink under the idea of the poet; so that he has recourse to such violence of affected agitation, as imposes upon the undiscernmg spec¬ tator, but to the eye of taste, evinces him a mere player of that class whom your admired Shakespeare justly compares to nature’s journeymen tearing a passion to rags. Yet this man, in spite of all these absurdities, is an admirable FalstafF, exhibits the character of the eighth Henry to the life, is reasonably applauded in the Plain Dealer, excels in the part of Sir John Brute, and would be equal to many humorous situations in low comedy, which his pride will notallow him to undertake. I should not have been so severe upon this actor had I not seen him extolled by his partisans with the most ridiculous and fulsome manifestations of praise, even in ' those very circumstances wherein (as I have observed) he chiefly failed.’ Pickle, not a little piqued to hear the qualifications of such a celebrated actor in England treated with such freedom and disrespect, answered, with some asperity, that the chevalier Avas a true critic, more industrious in observing the blemishes, than in acknowledging the excellence of those who fell under his examination. It was not to be supposed that one actor could shine equal¬ ly in all characters; and though his observations were un¬ doubtedly very judicious, he himself could not help Avonder- ing that some of them had always escaped his notice, though he had been an assiduous frequenter of the playhouse. 4 The player in question,’ said he, 4 has, in your own opinion, con¬ siderable share of merit in the characters of comic life; and as to the manners of the great personages in tragedy, and the operation of the grand passions of the soul, I apprehend they may be variously represented, according to the various complexion and cultivation of different men. A Spaniard, peregrine pickle. SOI for example, though impelled by the same passion, will ex¬ press it very differently from a Frenchman ; and what is looked upon as graceful vivacity and address by the one, would be considered as impertinence and foppery by the other; nay, so opposite is your common deportment from that of some other nations, that one of your own country¬ men, in the relation of his travels, observes, that the Per¬ sians even of this age, when they see any man perform un¬ necessary gestures, say he is either a fool or a Frenchman. The standard of demeanour being thus unsettled, a Turk, a Moor, an Indian, or inhabitant of any country, whose customs and dress are widely different from ours, may, in his sentiments, possess all the dignity of the human heart, and be inspired by the noblest passion that animates the soul, and yet excite the laughter rather than the respect of an European spectator. c When I first beheld your famous Parisian stage-heroine, in one of her principal parts, her attitudes seemed so violent, and she tossed her arms around with such extravagance, that she put me in mind of a wind-mill under the agitation of a hard gale; while her voice and features exhibited the lively representation of an English scold. The action of your favourite male performer was, in my opinion, equally unnatural; he appeared with the affected airs of a dancing- inaster ; at the most pathetic junctures of his fate he lifted up his hands above his head, like a tumbler going to vault, and spoke as if his throat had been obstructed by an hair¬ brush; yet, when I compared their manners with those of the people before whom they performed, and made allow¬ ance for that exaggeration which obtains on all theatres, I was insensibly reconciled to their method of performance, and I could distinguish abundance of merit beneath that oddity of appearance." The chevalier, perceiving Peregrine a little irritated at what he had said, asked pardon for the liberty be had taken in censuring the English players, assuring him that he had an infinite veneration for the British learning, genius, and taste, which were so justly distinguished in the world of let¬ ters ; and that, notwithstanding the severity of his criticism, 502 THE ADVENTURES 0^ lie thought the theatre of London much better supplied with actors than that of Paris The young gentleman thanked him for his polite condescension, at which Pallet exulted, saying with a shake o! the head, 4 1 believe so too, Monsieur and the physician, impatient of the dispute in which he had bore no share, observed, with a supercilious air, that the modern stape was altogether beneath the notice of one who had an idea of ancient magnificence and execution ; that plays ought to be exhibited at the expense of the state, as those of Sophocles were by the Athenians; and that proper judges should be appointed for receiving or rejecting all such performances as are offered to the public. He then described the theatre at Rome, which contained eighty thousand spectators, gave them a learned disquisition into the nature of the persona, or mask, worn by the Roman actors, which (he said ) was a machine that covered the whole head, furnished on the inside with a brazen concavity, that by reverberating the sound,as it issuedfrom the mouth,raised the voice so as to render it audible to such an extended au¬ dience. He explained the difference between the saltalor and declamator , one of whom acted, while the other rehearsed the part; and from thence took occasion to mention the perfec¬ tions of their pantomimes, which were so amazingly distinct in the exercise of their art, that a certain Prince of Pontus, being at the court of Nero, and seeing one of them represent a story, begged him of the emperor, in order to employ him as an interpreter among barbarous nations, whose language he did not understand. Nay, divers cynic philosophers, who had condemned this entertainment unseen, when they chan¬ ced to be eye-witnesses of their admirable dexterity, express¬ ed their sorrow for having so long debarred themselves of such rational enjoyment. He dissented, however, from the opinion *of Peregrine,who, as a proof of their excellence, had advanced, that some of the English actors fancied themselves the very thing they repre¬ sented, and recounted a story from Lucian, of a certain cele¬ brated pantomime, who, in acting the part of Ajax, in his frenzy, was transported into a real fit of delirium, during PEREGRINE PICKLE. 393 which he tore to pieces the clothes of that actor who stalked before him, beating the stage with iron shoes, in order to in¬ crease the noise, snatched an instrument from one of the mu¬ sicians, and broke it over the head of him who represented Ulysses; and, running to the consular bench, mistook a couple of senators for the sheep which were to be slain. The audience applauded him to the skies; but so conscious was the mimic of his own extravagance, when he recovered the use of his reason, that he actually fell sick with mortifi¬ cation ; and being afterwards desired to react the piece, flatly refused to appear in any such character, saying, that the shortest follies were the best, and that it was sufficient for him to have been a madman once in his life. CHAPTER LII. An adventure happens to Pipes , in consequence of which he is dismissed from Peregrine''s service—the whole company set out for Ghent in the diligence—our hero is captivated by a lady in that carriage—-interests her spiritual director in hi $ behalf The doctor, being fairly engaged on the subject of the an¬ cients, would have proceeded the Lord knows how far, with¬ out hesitation, had not he been interrupted by the arrival of Mr Jolter, who, in great confusion, told them, that Pipes, having affronted a soldier, was then surrounded in the street, and would certainly be put to death, if some person of au¬ thority did not immediately interpose in hts behalf. Peregrine no sooner learned the danger of his trusty squire, than, snatching Up his sword, he ran down stairs, and was followed by the chevalier, entreating him. to leave the affair to his management. Within ten yards of the door they found Tom with his back to a wall, defending himself man¬ fully with a mopstick against the assault oi three or four soldiers, who, at sight of the Maltese cross, desisted from the attack, and were taken into custody by order of the knight. One of the aggressors, being an Irishman, beggeo to be heard with great importunity, before he should be sent to the. 304 THE ADVENTURES OF guard ; and, bv the mediation of Pickle, was accordingly brought into the hotel, with his companions, all three bearing upon their heads and faces evident marks of their adversary’s prowess and dexterity. The spokesman being confronted with Pipes, informed the company, that, having by accident met with Mr Pipes, whom he considered as his country¬ man, though fortune had disposed of them in different ser¬ vices, he invited him to drink a glass of wine, and accord¬ ingly carried him to a cabaret, where he introduced him to his comrades; but, in the course of the conversation, which turned upon the power and greatness of the kings of France and England, Mr Pipes had been pleased to treat his most Christian majesty with great disrespect; and when he (the entertainer) expostulated with him in a friendly manner about his impolite behaviour, observing, that he being in the French service, would be under the necessity of resenting his abuse, if he did not put a stop to it before the other gentlemen of the cloth should comprehend his meaning, he had set them all three at defiance, dishonoured him in particular with the opprobrious epithet of rebel to his native king and country , and even drank (in broken French) to the perdition of Lewis and all his adherents ! that, compelled by this outrageous conduct, he, as the person who had recommended him to their society, had, in vindication of his own character, de¬ manded satisfaction of the delinquent, who, on pretence of fetching a sword, had gone to his lodging, from whence he all of a sudden sallied upon them with the mopstick, which he employed in the annoyance of them all without distinc¬ tion, so that they were obliged to draw in their own defence. Pipes, being questioned by his master with regard to the truth of this account, owned that every circumstance was justly represented ; saying, he did not value their cheese- toasters a pinch of oakum ; and that, if the gentleman had not shot in betwixt them, he would have trimmed them to such a tune, that they should not have had a whole yard to square. Peregrine reprimanded him sharply for his un¬ mannerly behaviour, and insisted upon his asking pardon ol those he had injured upon the spot. But no considera- PEREGRINE PICKLE. 305 lion was efficacious enough to produce such concession : to this command he was both deaf and dumb, and the repeated threats of his master had no more effect than if they had been %/ addressed to a marble statue. At length our hero, incensed at his obstinacy, started up, and would have chastised him with manual operation, had not he been prevented by the chevalier, who found means to moderate his indignation so far, that he contented himself with dismissing the offender from his service; and after having obtained the discharge of the prisoners, gave them a Jouis to drink, by way of re- compence for the disgrace and damage they had sustained. The knight, perceiving our young gentleman very much ruffled at this accident, and reflecting upon the extraordi¬ nary deportment and appearance of his valet, whose hair had by this time adopted a grizzly hue, imagined he was some favourite domestic, who had grown grey in the service of his master’s family, and that of consequence he was uneasy at. the sacrifice he had made. Swayed by this conjecture, he earnestly solicited in his behalf; but all lie could obtain w r as a promise of readmitting him into favour on the terms al¬ ready proposed, or at least on condition that he should make his acknowledgment to the chevalier, for his want of reve¬ rence and respect for the French monarch. Upon this condescension, the culprit was called up stairs, and made acquainted with the mitigation of his fate; upon which he said, he would down on his marrow bones to his own master, but would be damned before he would ask par- don of e’er a Frenchman m Christendom. Pickle, exaspe¬ rated at this blunt declaration, ordered him out of his pre¬ sence, and charged him never to appear before his face again ; while the officer in vain employed all his influence and ad¬ dress to appease his resentment, and about midnight took his leave with marks of mortification at his want of success. Next day the company agreed to travel through Flanders in the diligence, by the advice of Peregrine, who was not without hope of meeting with some adventure or amusement in that carriage; and Jolter took care to secure places for hem all: it being resolved that the valet de chambre ami Vol II. v 308 THE ADVENTURES GV the doctors man should attend the vehicle on horseback ; and as for the forlorn Pipes, he was left to reap the fruits of his own stubborn disposition, notwithstanding the united efforts of the whole triumvirate, who endeavoured to procure his Every previous measure being thus taken, they set out from Lisle about six in the morning, and found themselves in the company of a female adventurer, a very handsome young lady, a capuchin, and a Rotterdam Jew. Our young gentleman, being the first of this society that entered, sur¬ veyed the strangers with an attentive eye, and seated him¬ self immediately behind the beautiful unknown, who at once attracted his attention. Pallet, seeing another lady unen¬ gaged, in imitation of his friend, took possession of her neigh¬ bourhood ; the physician paired with the priest, and Jolter sat down by the Jew. The machine had not proceeded many furlongs, when Pickle, accosting the fair incognita, congratulated himself upon his happiness in being the fellow-traveller of so charm¬ ing a lady. She, without the least reserve or affectation, thanked him for his compliment, and replied, with a spright¬ ly air, that now they were embarked in one common bot¬ tom, they must club their endeavours to make one another as happy as the nature of their situation would permit them to be. Encouraged by this frank intimation, and captiva¬ ted by her fine black eyes and easy behaviour, he attached himself to her from that moment; and, in a little time, the conversation became so particular, that the capuchin thought proper to interfere in the discourse, in such a manner as gave the youth to understand that he was there on purpose to su¬ perintend her conduct. lie was doubly rejoiced at this dis¬ covery, in consequence of which he hoped to profit in his addresses, not only by the young lady’s restraint, that never fails to operate in behalf of the lover, but also by the cor¬ ruptibility ol her guardian, whom he did not doubt of render¬ ing propitious to his cause. Flushed with these expectations^ he behaved with uncommon complacency to the father, who was charmed with the affability of his carriage, and on the PEREGRINE PICKLE. 307 faith of his generosity, abated of his vigilance so much, that our hero carried on his suit withoutfurther molestation ; while the painter, in signs and loud bursts of laughter, conversed with his Dulcinea, who was perfectly well versed in these simple expressions of satisfaction, and had already found means to make a dangerous invasion upon his heart. Nor were the governor and physician unemployed, while their friends interested themselves in this agreeable manner. Jolter no sooner perceived the Hollander was a Jew, than he entered into an investigation of the Hebrew tongue, in which he was a connoisseur ; and the doctor at thesnne time attacked the mendicant on the ridiculons maxims of his or¬ der, together with the impositions of priest-craft in general, which, he observed, prevailed so much among those who profess the Roman catholic religion. Thus coupled, each committee enjoyed their own conver¬ sation apart, without any danger of encroachment; and all were so intent upon their several topics, that they scarce al¬ lowed themselves a small interval in viewing the desolation of Menin, as they passed through that ruined frontier. About twelve o’clock they arrived at Courtray, where the horses are always changed, and the company halt an hour for refresh¬ ment. Here Peregrine handed his charmer into an apart¬ ment, where she was joined by the other lady; and, on pre¬ tence of seeing some of the churches in town, put himself under the direction of the capuchin, from whom he learned that the young lady was wife to a French gentleman, to whom she had been married about a year, and that she was now on her journey to visit her mother, who lived at Brussels, and who at that time laboured under a lingering distemper,which, in all probability, would soon put a period to her life. He then launched out in praise of her daughter’s virtue and con¬ jugal affection; and, lastly, told him, that he washer father confessor, and pitched upon to be her conductor through Flanders, by her husband, who, as well as his wife, placed the utmost confidence in his prudence and integrity. Pickle easily comprehended the meaning of this insinua¬ tion, and took the hint accordingly. He tickled the priest’s THE ADVENTURES OF vanity with extraordinary encomiums upon the disinterested' principles of his order, which were detached from all worldy pursuits, and altogether devoted to the eternal salvation of mankind. He applauded their patience, humility, and learn¬ ing, and lavished aworld of praise upon their talent in preach¬ ing, which (he said) had more than once operated so power¬ fully upon him, that, had he not been restrained by certain considerations which he could not possibly wave, lie should have embraced their tenets, and begged admission into their fraternity: but, as the circumstances of his fate would not permit him to take such a salutary measure for the present, he entreated the good father to accept a small token of his love and respect, for the benefit of that convent to which he belonged. So saying, he pulled out a purse of ten guineas, which the capuchin observing, turned his head another way, and, lifting up his arm, displayed a pocket almost as high as his collar bone, in which he deposited the money. This proof of affection for the order produced a sudden and surprising effect upon the friar. In the transport of his zeal, he wrung this semi-converfs hand, showered a thousand benedictions upon his head, and exhorted him, with the tears flowing from his eyes, to perfect the great work which the finger of God had begun in his heart; and, as an instance of his concern for the welfare of his precious soul, the holy brother promised to recommend him strenuously to the pious admonitions of the young woman under his care, who was a perfect saint upon earth, and endowed with the peculiar gift of mollifying the hearts of obdurate sinners. 4 O father P (cried the hypocritical projector, who by this time perceived that his money was not thrown away), s if I could be fa¬ voured but for one half hour with the private instruction of that inspired devotee, my mind presages that I should be a strayed sheep brought back into the fold, and that I should find easy entrance at the gates of heaven ! there is something supernatural in her aspect; I gaze upon her with the most pious fervour, and my whole soul is agitated with tumults of hope and despair !’ Having pronounced this rhapsody , with transport, half natural and half affected, the priest as- PEREGRINE PICKLE* 309 sored him, that these were operations of the spirit, which must not be repressed ; and comforted him with the hope of enjoying the blessed interview which he desired, protesting, that, as far as his influence extended, his wish should be that very evening indulged. The gracious pupil thanked him for his benevolent concern, which he swore should not be squandered upon an ungrateful object : and the rest of the company interrupting the conversation, they returned in a body to the inn, where they dined altogether, and the ladies were persuaded to be our hero’s guests. As the subjects on which they had been engaged before dinner were not exhausted, each brace resumed their former theme when they were replaced in the diligence. The paint¬ er’s mistress finished her conquest, by exerting her skill in the art of ogling, accompanied by frequent bewitching sighs, and some tender French songs, that she sung with such pa¬ thetic expression, as quite melted the resolution of Pallet, and utterly subdued his affection; and he, to convince her of the importance of her victory, gave a specimen of his own talents, by intertaining her with that celebrated English ditty, the burthen of which begins with, the pigs they lie with their - bare . CHAPTER LI1I. He makes progress in her affection—is interrupted by a dis¬ pute between Jolter and the Jew—appeases the wrath of the capuchin , who procures for him an interview with his fair enslaver , in which he finds himself deceived. Peregrine, meanwhile, employed all his insinuation and address, in practising upon the heart of the capuchin’s fair charge. He had long ago declared his passion, not in the superficial manner of a French gallant, but with all the ar¬ dour of an enthusiast. He had languished, vowed, flattered, kissed her hand by stealth, and had no reason to complain of his reception. Though by a man of a less sanguine dispo¬ sition, her particular complaisance tvould have been deem- 310 THE ADVENTURES OF ed equivocal, and perhaps nothing more than the effect of French breeding and constitutional vivacity, he gave his own qualifications credit for the whole, and with these sentiments carried on the attack with such unabating vigour, that she was actually prevailed upon to accept a ring, which he pre¬ sented as a token of his esteem; and every thing proceeded in a most prosperous train, when they were disturbed by the governor and Israelite, who, in the heat of disputation, raised their voices, and poured forth such effusions of gutturals, as set our lover's teeth on edge. As they spoke in a language unknown to every one in the carriage but themselves, and looked at each other with mutual animosity and rancour, Peregrine desired to know the cause of their contention ; up» on which Jolter exclaimed in a furious tone,— 4 This learned Fevite, forsooth, has the impudence to tell me that I don’t understand Hebrew ; and affirms, that the word benoni sig¬ nifies child of joy ; whereas I can prove, and indeed have al¬ ready said enough to convince any reasonable man, that in the Septuagint it is rightly translated into son of my sorrow Having thus explained himself to his pupil, he turned to the priest, with intention to appeal to his determination ; but the Jew pulled him by the sleeve with great eagerness, saying, 4 For the love of God be quiet, the capuchin will discover who we are!’ Jolter, offended at this conjunction, echoed, 4 Who we are !’ with great emphasis; and repeating nos po~ ma natamus , asked ironically to which of the tribes the Jew thought he belonged. The Levite, affronted at his compar¬ ing him to a ball of horse-dung, replied, with a most signi¬ ficant grin, 4 To the tribe of Issachar.’ His antagonist, tak¬ ing the advantage of his unwillingness to be known by the friar, and prompted by revenge for the freedom lie had us¬ ed, answered in the French language, that the judgment of God was still manifest upon their whole race, not only in their being in the state of exiles from their native land, but also in the spite of their hearts and pravity of their disposi¬ tions, which demonstrate them to be the genuine offspring pf those who crucified the Saviour of the world. His expectation was, however, defeated ; the priest him. peregrine fickle. 311 self was too deeply engaged to attend to the debates of other people. The physician, in the pride and insolence of his learning, had undertaking to display the absurdity of the Christian faith ; having already (as he thought) confuted the capuchin, touching the points of belief in which the Roman catholics differ from the rest of the world. Rut not content¬ ed with the imagined victory he had gained, he began to strike at the fundamentals of religion ; and the father, with incredible forbearance, suffered him to make very free with the doctrine of the Trinity: but when he levelled the shafts of his ridicule at the immaculate conception of the Blessed Virgin, the good maids patience forsook him, Iris eyes seem¬ ed to kindle with indignation, he trembled in every joint, and uttered, with a loud voice,— c You are an abominable —I will not call thee heretic, for thou art worse (if possible) than a Jew; you deserve to be inclosed in a furnace seven times heated, and I have a good mind to lodge an informa¬ tion against you with the governor of Ghent, that you may be apprehended and punished as an impious blasphemer.’ This menace operated like a charm on all present. The doctor was confounded, the governor dismayed, the Lc- vite’s teeth chattered, the painter was astonished at the ge¬ neral confusion, the cause of which he could not comprehend; and Pickle himself, not a little alarmed, was obliged to use all his interest and assiduity in appeasing this son of the church, who, at length, in consideration of the friendship he pro¬ fessed for the young gentleman, consented to forgive what had passed, but absolutely refused to sit in contact with such a profane wretch, whom lie looked upon as a fiend of dark¬ ness, sent by the enemy of mankind to poison the minds of weak people ; so that, after having crossed himself, and mut¬ tered certain exorcisms, he insisted upon the doctor’s chang¬ ing places with the Jew, who approached the offended ec¬ clesiastic in an agony of fear. Matters being thus compromised, the conversation flowed in a more general channel; and without the intervention of any other acident, or bone of contention, the carriage arriv¬ ed at the city of Ghent about seven in the evening. Supper 312 THE ADVENTURES OF being bespoke for the whole company, our adventurer and his friends went out to take a superficial view of the place, leaving Ins new mistress to the pious exhortations of her con- nessor, whom (as we have already observed) he had secured hi his interest. This zealous mediator spoke so warmly in nis commendation, and interested her conscience so much in the affair, that she could not refuse her helping hand to the gidU, work of his conversion, and promised to grant the in¬ terview he desired. 'This agreeable piece of intelligence, which the capuchin communicated to Peregrine at his return, elevated his spirits to such a degree, that he shone at supper with uncommon hi dhance, iii a thousand sallies of wit and pleasantry, to the admiration and delight of all present, especially of his fair Fleming, who seemed quite captivated by bis person and be¬ haviour .. he e^ emng being thus spent to the satisfaction of all par- ' jC *' ie company broke up, and retired to their several apart¬ ments, when our lover, to his unspeakable mortification, learned that tne two ladies were obliged to lie in the same room, all the other chambers of the inn being pre-occupied. lieu he imparted this difficulty to the priest, that chari- facm father, who was very fruitful in expedients, assured him that nis spiritual concerns should not be obstructed by such a slender impediment; and accordingly availed himself of his pieiogative, by going into bis daughter’s chamber when she was almost undressed, and leading her into his own, on pretence of administering salutary food for her soul. Having hi ought the two votaries together, he prayed for success to dm operations of grace, and left them to their mutual me¬ ditations, after having conjured them, in the most solemn mannei, to let no impure sentiments, or temptations of the ‘ » intcnei e with the hallowed design of their meeting. I he reverend intercessor being gone, and the door fasten¬ ed on the inside, the pscudo-convert-, transported with his passion, threw himself at Amanda’s feet; -and begging she w ouid spare him the tedious form of addresses, which the na- ; v.recf their interview would not permit him to observe, bg I \ PEREGRINE PICKLE, 313 gan, with all the impetuosity of love, to make the most by the occasion. But whether she was displeased by the intre¬ pidity and assurance of his behaviour, thinking herself en¬ titled to more courtship and respect, or was really better for¬ tified with chastity than he or his procurer had supposed her to be, certain it is, she expressed resentment and surprise at his boldness and presumption, and upbraided him with hav¬ ing imposed upon the charity of the friar. The young gen¬ tleman was really as much astonished at this rebuff, as she pretended to be at his declaration, and earnestly entreated her to consider how precious the moments were, and for once sacrifice superfluous ceremony to tiie happiness of one who adored her with such a flame, as could not fail to consume his vitals, if she would not deign to bless him with her fa¬ vour. Notwithstanding, all his tears, vows, and supplications, his personal accomplishments, and the tempting opportu¬ nity, all that he could obtain was an acknowledgment of bis having made an impression upon her heart, which she hoped the dictates ol her duty would enable her to erase. This confession he considered as a delicate consent; and, obeying the impulse of his love, snatched her up in his arms, with an intention ol seizing that which she declined to o-ive * when this French Lucretia, unable to defend her virtue any other way, screamed aloud; and the capuchin, setting his shouldef to the door, forced it open, and entered it in an affected ecstacy of amazement. He lifted up his hands and eyes, and pretended to be thunderstruck at the discovery he had made; then, in broken exclamations, professed his horror at the wicked intention of our hero, who had covered such a damnable scheme with the mask of religion. O In short, he performed his cue witli such dexterity, that the lady, believing him in earnest, begged he would forgive the stranger, on account of his youth and education, which had been tainted by the errors of heresy: and he was on these considerations content to accept the submission of our hero, who, far from renouncing his expectations, notwithstanding this mortifying repulse, confided so much in his own talents, and the confession which his mistress had made, that he re- 314 THE ADVENTURES OF solved to make another effort, to which nothing could have prompted him but the utmost turbulence of unruly desire. CHAPTER LIY. He makes another effort towards the accomplishment of Ms wish, which is postponed by a strange accident. He directed his valet de chambre, who was a thorough- paced pimp, to kindle some straw in the yard, and then pass by the door of her apartment, crying, with a loud voice, that the house was on fire. This alarm brought both ladies out of their chamber in a moment ; and Peregrine, taking the advantage of their running to the street-door, entered the room, and concealed himself under a large table that stood in an unobserved corner. The nymphs, as soon as they under¬ stood the cause of his Mercury's supposed affright, returned to their apartment, and, having said their prayers, undressed themselves, and went to bed. This scene, which fell under the observation of Pickle, did not at all contribute to the cool¬ ing of his concupiscence, but, on the contrary, inflamed him to such a degree, that he could scarce restrain his impatience, until by her breathing deep, he concluded the fellow-lodger of his Amanda was asleep. This welcome note no sooner sa¬ luted his ears, than he crept to his charmer’s bid-side, and, placing himself on his knees, gently laid hold on her white hand, and pressed it to his lips. She had just begun to close her eyes, and enjoy the agreeable oppression of slum¬ ber, when she was roused by this rape, at which she started, pronouncing, in a tone of surprise and dismay, 4 My God ! who's that?' The lover, with the most insinuating humi- lity, besought her to hear him ; vowing, that his inten¬ tion in approaching her thus, was not to violate the laws of decency, or that indelible esteem which she had engraven on his heart, but to manifest his sorrow and contrition for the umbrage he had given, to pour forth the overflowings of His soul, and tell her, that he neither could nor would sur¬ vive her displeasure. These, and many other pathetic pro. PEREGRINE PICKLE. 315 -testations, accompanied with sighs and tears, and other expressions of' grief, which our hero had at command, could not fail to melt the tender heart of the amiable Fleming, al¬ ready prepossessed in favour of his qualifications. She sym¬ pathized «so much with his affliction, as to weep in her turn, when she represented the impossibility of her rewarding his passion; and he, seizing the favourable moment, reinforced his solicitations with such irresistible transports, that her re¬ solution gave way, she began to breathe quick, expressed her fear of being overheard by the other lady, and, with an ejaculation of ‘O Heavens! I’m undone,’ suffered him, after a taint struggle, to make a lodgement upon the co¬ vered way of her bed. Her honour, however, was secured for the present by a strange sort of knocking upon the wainscot, at the other end of the room, hard by the bed in which the female adventurer lay. Surprised at this circumstance, the lady begged him for heaven’s sake to retreat, or her reputation would be ruined for ever; but when he represented to her, that her charac¬ ter would run a much greater risk if he should be detected in withdrawing, she consented, with great trepidation , to his stay ; and they listened in silence to the sequel of the < oise that alarmed them. This was no other than an expedient of the painter to awaken his Dulcinea, with whom he had made an assignation, or, at least, interchanged such signals as he thought amounted to a firm appointment. His nymph, being disturbed in her first sleep, immediately understood the sound, and, true to the agreement, rose, and unbolting the door as softly as possible, gave him admittance, leaving it open for his more commodious retreat. While this happy gallant was employed in disengaging himself from the dishabile in which be had entered, the ca¬ puchin, suspecting that Peregrine would make another at¬ tempt upon his charge, had crept silently to the apartment, in order to reconnoitre, lest the adventure should be achiev¬ ed without his knowledge : a circumstance that would de- prive him of the profits lie might expect from his privity and concurrence. Finding the door unlatched, his suspicion 316 THE ADVENTURES OP was confirmed, and lie made no scruple of creeping into the chamber on all four; so that the painter, having stripped himself to the shirt, in groping about for his Dulcinea’s bed, chanced to lay his hand upon the shaven crown of the father s head, which, by a circular motion, the priest began to turn round in his grasps like a ball in a socket, to the surprise and consternation of poor Pallet, who, having neither pene¬ tration to comprehend the case, nor resolution to withdraw his lingers from this strange object of his touch, stood sweating in the dark, and venting ejaculations with great devotion. The friar, tired with his exercise, and the pain¬ ful posture in which he stooped, raised himself gradually upon his feet, heaving up at the same time the hand of the painter, whose terror and amazement increased to such a degree at this unaccountable elevation, that his faculties began to fail; and his palm, in the confusion of his fright, sliding over the priest’s forehead, one of his fingers happen¬ ed to slip into his mouth, and was immediately secured be¬ tween the capuchin’s teeth, with as firm a fixture as if it had been screwed in a blacksmith’s vice. The painter was so much disordered by this sudden snap, which tortured him to the bone, that, forgetting all other considerations, he roared aloud, s Murder! a fire ! a trap, a trap ! help, Christians, for the love of God, help !’ Our hero, confounded by these ex¬ clamations, which he knew would soon fill the room with spectators, and incensed at his own mortifying disappoint¬ ment, was obliged to quit the untasted banquet, and, ap¬ proaching the cause of his misfortune, just as his tormentor had thought proper to release his finger, discharged such a hearty slap between his shoulders, as brought him to the ground with hideous bellowing ; then retiring unperceived to his own chamber, was one of the first who returned with a light, on pretence of having been alarmed with his cries. The capuchin had taken the same precaution, and fol¬ lowed Peregrine into the room, pronouncing Benedicitc, and crossing himself with many marks of astonishment. The physician and Jolter appearing at the same time, the unfor¬ tunate painter was found lying naked on the floor, in all the PEREGRINE PICKLE, 317 agony of horror and dismay, blowing upon his left hand, that hung dangling from the elbow. The circumstances of his be¬ ing found in that apartment, and the attitude of his affliction, which was extremely ridiculous, provoked the doctor to a smile, and produced a small relaxation in the severity of tlife governor’s countenance; while Pickle, testifying surprise and concern, lifted him from the ground, and inquired into the cause of his present situation. Having, after some recollec¬ tion, and fruitless endeavours to speak, recovered the use of his tongue, he told them that the house was certainly haunted by evil spirits, by which he had been conveyed (he knew not how) into that apartment, and afflicted with all the tortures of hell: that one of them had made itself sensible to his feel¬ ing, in the shape of a round ball of smooth flesh, wnich turned round under his hand, like an astronomer’s globe, and then, rising up to a surprising height, was converted into a machine that laid hold on his finger, by a snap, and, ha¬ ving pinned him to the spot, lie continued for some moments in unspeakable agony. At last, he said the engine seemed to melt away from his finger, and he received a sudden thwack upon his shoulders, as if discharged by the arm of a giant, which overthrew him in an instant upon the floor. The priest, hearing this strange account, pulled out of one of his pouches a piece of consecrated candle, which he lighted immediately, and muttered certain mysterious conjurations. Jolter, imagining that Pallet was drunk, shook his head, say¬ ing he believed the spirit was nowhere but in his own brain. The physician for once condescended to be a wag, and look¬ ing towards one of the beds, observed that, in his opinion, the painter had been misled by the flesh, and not by the spirit. The fair Fleming lay in silent astonishment and af¬ fright; and her fellow-lodger, in order to acquit herself of all suspicion, exclaimed with incredible volubility against the author of this uproar, who (she did not doubt) had concealed himself in the apartment, with a view of perpetra¬ ting some wicked attempt upon her precious virtue, and was punished and prevented by the immediate interposition of Heaven. At her desire, therefore, and at the earnest solid- THE ADVENTURES OF 318 tation of the other lady, he was conducted to his own bed/ and the chamber being evacuated, they locked their door, fully resolved to admit no more visitants for that night: wnile Peregrine, mad with seeing the delicious morsel snatched (as it were) from his very lip, stalked through the passage like a ghost, in hope of finding some opportunity of re-entering, till the day beginning to break, he was obliged to retire, cursing the idiotical conduct of the painter, which had so unluckly interfered with his delight. CHAPTER LV. They depart from Ghent—our hero engages in a political dispute with his mistress whom he offends, and pacifies with sub mis ~ sion—he practises an expedient to detain the carriage at Alost , and confirms the priest in his interest. Next day, about one o'clock, after having seen everything remarkable in town, and been present at the execution of baa brought them thither; and the conversation turning upon the punishment they had seen inflicted, the Flemish beauty expressed great sympathy and compassion for the un- happy sufferers, who (as she had been informed) had fallen victims to the malice ol the accuser. Her sentiments were espoused by all the company, except the French lady of pleasure, woo, thinking the credit of the sisterhood con¬ cerned in the affair, bitterly inveighed against the profliga¬ cy of the age, and particularly the base and villanous at¬ tempts ol man upon the chastity of the weaker sex ; saying, with a look of indignation, directed to the painter, that, for her own part, she should never be able to manifest the ac¬ knowledgment she owned to Providence, for having protected her last night from the wicked aims of unbridled lust. This observation introduced a series of jokes, at the expence of Pallet, who hung his ears, and sat with a silent air of dejec¬ tion, fearing that, through the malevolence of the physician, his adventure might reach the ears of his wife. Indeed*; PEREGRINE PICKLE. 310 though we have made shift to explain the whole taansaction to the reader, it was an inextricable mystery to every indivi¬ dual in the diligence : because the part which was acted by the capuchin was known to himself alone ; and even he was utterly ignorant of Pickle’s being concerned in the affair; so that the greatest share of the painter’s sufferings were sup¬ posed to be the exaggerations of his own extravagant imagi¬ nation. In the midst of their discourse on this extraordinary sub¬ ject, the driver told them, that they were now on the very spot where a detachment of the allied army had been inter¬ cepted and cut off by the French ; and, stopping the ve¬ hicle, entertained them with a local description of the battle of Melle. Upon this occasion, the Flemish lady, who, since her marriage, had become a keen partizan for the French, gave a minute detail of all the circumstances, as they had been represented to her by her husband’s brother, who was in the action. This account, which sunk the number of the French to sixteen, and raised that of the allies to twenty thousand men, was so disagreeable to truth, as well as to the laudable partiality of Peregrine, that he ventured to con¬ tradict her assertions, and a fierce dispute commenced, that not only regarded the present question, but also comprehend¬ ed all the battles in which the duke of Marlborough had com- manded against Lewis XIV. In the course of these debates, she divested the great general of all the glory he had acqui¬ red, by affirming, that every victory he gained was purpose¬ ly lost by the French generals, in order to bring the schemes of Madame de Maintenon into discredit; and, as a particu¬ lar instance, alleged, that while the citadel of Lisle was be¬ sieged, Lewis said, in presence of the dauphin, that, if the allies should be obliged to raise the siege, he would imme¬ diately declare his marriage with that lady ; upon which the son sent private orders to Marshal Eoufflers to surrender the place. This strange allegation was supported by theas„ severations of the priest and the courtezan, and admitted as truth by the governor, who pretended to have heard it from good authority; while the doctor sat neutral, as one 320 THE ADVENTURES OP who thought it scandalous to know the history of such mo¬ dern events. The Israelite, being a true Dutchman, listed himself under the banners of our hero, who, in attempting to demonstrate the absurdity and improbability of what they had advanced, raised such a hue and cry against himself? and being insensibly heated in the altercation, irritated his Amanda to such a degree, that her charming eyes kindled with fury, and he saw great reason to think, that if he did not fall upon some method to deprecate her wrath, she would in a twinkling sacrifice all her esteem for him to her own zeal for the glory of the French nation. Moved by this ap¬ prehension, his ardour cooled by degrees, and he insensibly detached himself from the argument, leaving the whole care of supporting it on the Jew, who, finding himself deserted, was fain to yield at discretion ; so that the French remained masters of the field, and their young heroine resumed her good humour. Our hero having prudently submitted to the superior intel¬ ligence of his fair enslaver, began to be harassed with the fears of losing her for ever, and set his invention at work, to contrive some means of indemnifying himself for his assi¬ duities, presents, and the disappointments he had already un¬ dergone. On pretence of enjoying a free air, he mounted the box, and employed his elocution and generosity with such success, 'that the driver undertook to disable the diligence from proceeding beyond the town of Alost for that day ; and, in consequence of his promise, gently overturned it when they were but a mile short of that baiting place. He had taken his measures so discreetly, that this accident was attended with no other inconvenience than a fit of fear that took pos¬ session of the ladies, and the necessity to which they were reduced by the declaration of the coachman, who, upon ex¬ amining the carriage, assured the company that the axle, tree had given way, and advised them to walk forward to the inn, where he would jog after them at a slow pace, and do his endeavour that the damage should be immediately repaired* Peregrine pretended to be very much concerned at what had happened, and even cursed the driver for his inadvertency r PEREGRINE PICKLE. 321 expressing infinite impatience to be at Brussels, and wishing that this misfortune might not detain them another night upon the road ; but when his understrapper, according to his instructions, came afterwards to the inn, and gave them, to understand, that the workman lie had employed could not possibly refit the machine in less than six hours, the crafty youth affected to lose all temper, stormed at his emissary, whom he reviled in the most opprobrious terms, and threat¬ ened to cane for his misconduct. The fellow protested, with great humility, that their being overturned was owing to the failure of the axle-tree, and not to his want of care or dex¬ terity in driving; .though rather than be thought the cause of incommoding him, he would inquire for a post-chaise, in which he might depart for Brussels immediately. This ex¬ pedient Pickle rejected unless the whole company could be accommodated in the same manner; and he had been pre¬ viously informed by the driver, that the town could not furnish more than one vehicle of that sort. His governor, w ho was quite ignorant of his scheme, represented that one night would soon be passed, and exhorted him to bear this small disappointment w r ith a good grace, especially as the house seemed to be well provided for their entertainment,and the company so much disposed to be sociable. The capuchin, who had found his account in cultivating the acquaintance of the young stranger, was not ill pleased at this event, which might, by protracting the term of their intercourse, yield him some opportunity of profiting still further bv bis libe- rality; he therefore joined Mr Jolter in his admonitions, congratulating himself upon the prospect of enjoying his conversation a little longer than he had expected. Our young gentleman received a compliment to the same pur¬ pose from the Hebrew, who had that day exercised his gal¬ lantry upon the French coquette, and was not without hope of reaping the fruits of his attention, his rival, the painter, being quite disgraced and dejected by the adventure of last night. As-for the doctor, he was too much engrossed in the contemplation of his own importance, to interest himself in the affair, or its consequences, further than by observing, that 5 o le I Ii jr THE ADVENTURES OF the European powers ought to establish public games, like those that were celebrated of old in Greece ; in which case every state would be supplied with such dexterous chario¬ teers, as would drive a machine at full speed, within a hair’s breadth of a precipice, without any danger of its being over¬ thrown. Peregrine could not help yielding to their remon¬ strances and united L 'complaisance, for which he thanked them in very polite terms; and, his passion seeming to sub¬ side, proposed that they should amuse themselves in walk¬ ing round the ramparts. He hoped to enjoy some private conversation with his admired Fleming, who had this whole day behaved with remarkable reserve. The proposal being embraced, he (as usual) handed her into the street, and took all opportunities of promoting his suit: but they were attended so closely by her father confessor, that he faresaw it would be impracticable to accomplish his aim, without the connivance of that ecclesiastic. This he was obliged to purchase with another purse, which he offered, and was ac¬ cepted, as a charitable atonement for his criminal behaviour during the interview which the friar had procured for the good of his soul. The benefaction was no sooner made, than the pious mendicant edged off by little and little, till he joined the rest of the company, leaving his generous patron at full liberty to prosecute his purpose. It is not to be doubted that our adventurer made a good use of this occa¬ sion: he practised a thousand flowers of rhetoric, and actu¬ ally exhausted his whole address, in persuading her to have compassion upon his misery, and indulge him with another private audience, without which he should run distracted, and be guilty of extravagancies which, in the humanity of her disposition, she would weep to see. But, instead of com¬ plying with his request, she chid him severely for his pre¬ sumption, in persecuting her with his vicious addresses. She assured him, that although she had secured a chamber for herself in this place, because she had no ambition to be better acquainted with the other lady, he would be in the wrong $0 disturb her with another nocturnal visit; for she was de* ermined to deny him admittance, The lover was comforted PEREGRINE PICKLE, 323 by tliis hint, which he understood in the true acceptation, and his passion being inflamed by the obstacles he had met with, his heart beat high with the prospect of possession. These raptures of expectation produced an inquietude, which disabled him from bearing that share of the conversation for which he used to be distinguished. His behavourat supper was a vicissitude of startings and reveries. The capuchin, imputing this disorder to a second repulse from his charge, began to be invaded with the apprehension of being obliged to refund, and, in a whisper, forbade our hero to despair. CHAPTER LVI. The French coquette entraps the heart of the Jew , against whom Pallet enters into a conspiracy ; by which Peregrine is again disappointed , and the Hebrew'’s incontinence exposed. Meanwhile the French syren, baulked in her design upon her English cully, who was so easily disheartened, and hung his ears in manifest despondence, rather than run the risk of making a voyage that should be altogether unprofitable, re¬ solved to practise her charms upon the Dutch merchant. She had already made such innovations upon his heart, that he cultivated her with peculiar complacency, gazed upon her with a most libidinous stare, and unbended his aspect into a grin that was truly Israelitish. The painter saw, and was offended at this correspondence, which he considered as an insult upon his misfortune, as well as an evident preference of his rival; and, conscious of his own timidity, swallowed an extraordinary glass, that his invention might be stimu¬ lated, and his resolution raised to the extravagance and exe¬ cution of some scheme of revenge. The wine, however, failed in the expected effect, ai\d, without inspiring him with the plan, served only to quicken his desire of vengeance; so that he communicated his purpose to his friend Peregrine, and beggedhis assistance ; but our young gentleman was too in¬ tent upon his own affair, to mind the concerns of any other person; and he declining to be engaged in the project. Pallet x 2 324 THE ADVENTURES OF had recourse to the genius of Pickle’s valet dechambre, who readily embarked in the undertaking, and invented a plan, which was executed accordingly. The evening being pretty far advanced, and the company separated into their respective apartments, Pickle repaired, in all the impatience of youth and desire, to the chamber of his charmer, and finding the door unbolted, entered in a transport of joy. By the light of the moon, which shone through the window, he was conducted to her bed, which lie approached in the utmost agitation, and perceiving her to all appearance asleep, essayed to wake her with a gentle kiss; but this method proved ineffectual, because she was determined to save herself the confusion of being an accom¬ plice in his guilt. He repeated the application, murmured a most passionate salutation in her ear, and took such other gentle methods of signifying his presence, as persuaded him that she was resolved to sleep, in spite of all his endeavours : flushed with this agreeable supposition, he locked the door, in order to prevent interruption, and stealing himself under the clothes, set fortune at defiance, while he held the fair creature circled in his arms. Nevertheless, near as he seemed to be to the happy ac¬ complishment of his desire, his hope was again frustrated with a frightful noise, which, in a moment, av T aked his Aman¬ da in a fright, and, for the present, engaged all his attention. His valet de chambre, whom Pallet had consulted as a con¬ federate in his revenge against the lady of pleasure and her Jewish gallant, had hired of certain Bohemians, who chan¬ ced to lodge at the inn, a jack-ass adorned with bells, which, when every body was retired to rest, and the Hebrew sup¬ posed to be bedded with his mistress, they led up stairs into a long thoroughfare, from which the chambers were detach¬ ed on each side. The painter, perceiving the lady’s door a-jar, according to his expectation, mounted this animal, with in¬ tention to ride into the room, and disturb the lovers in the midst of their mutual endearments ; but the ass, true to it$ kind, finding himself bestrid by an unknown rider, instead of advancing, iu obedience to his conductor, retreated back- peregrine pickle. 325 wards to the other end of the passage, in spite of all the ef¬ forts of the painter, who spurred, and kicked, and pommelled to no purpose. It was the noise of this contention between Pallet and the ass which invaded the ears of Peregrine and his mistress, neither of whom could form the least rational conjecture about the cause of such strange disturbance, which increased as the animal approached the apartment. At length, the bourrique’s retrograde motion was obstructed by the door, which it forced open in a twinkling with one kick, and entered with such complication of sound, as ter¬ rified the lady almost into a fit, and threw her lover into the utmost perplexity and confusion. The painter, finding him¬ self thus violently intruded into the bed-chamber of he knew not whom, and dreading the resentment of the possessor, who might discharge a pistol at him, as a robber who had broke into his apartment, was overwhelmed with consternation, and redoubled his exertion to accomplish a speedy retreat, sweat¬ ing all the time with fear, and putting up petitions to Heaven for his safety ; but his obstinate companion, regardless of his situation, instead of submitting to his conduct began to turn round like a mill-stone, the united sound of his feet and bells producing a most surprising concert. The unfortunate rider whirling about in this manner, would have quitted his seat, and left the beast to his own amusement; but the rotation was so rapid, that the terror of a severe fall hindered him from attempting to dismount, and, in the desperation of his heart, he seized one of its ears, which he pinched so unmercifully, that the creature set up his throat, and brayed aloud. This hideous exclamation waa no sooner heard by the fair Fleming, already chilled by panic, and prepared with super¬ stition, than believing herself visited by the devil, who was permitted to punish her for her infidelity to the marriage bed, she uttered a scream, and began to repeat her pater¬ noster with a loud voice. Her lover, finding himself under the necessity of retiring, started up, and stung with the most violent pangs of rage and disappointment, ran directly to the spot whence this diabolical noise seemed to proceed. There, ,€.ncountering the ass, he discharged such a volley of blow? 326 THE ADVENTURES OP at him and his rider, that the creature carried him off at a round trot, and they roared in unison all the way. Having thus cleared the room of such disagreeable company, he went back to his mistress, and assuring her that this was only some foolish prank of Pallet, took his leave, with a promise of re¬ turning after the quiet of the inn should be re-established. In the mean time, the noise of the bourrique, the cries of the painter, and the lady's scream, had alarmed the whole house ; and the ass, in the precipitation of his retreat, seeing people with lights before him, took shelter in the apartment for which he was at first designed, just as the Levite, arou¬ sed at the uproar, had quitted his Dulcinea, and was attempt¬ ing to recover his own chamber unperceived. Seeing him¬ self opposed by such an animal, mounted by a tall, meagre, lanthorn-jaw'd figure, half naked, with a white nightcap upon his head, which added to the natural paleness of his complexion, the Jew was sorely troubled in mind, and, be¬ lieving it to be an apparition of Balaam and his ass, fled backward with a nimble pace* and crept under the bed, where he lay concealed. Mr Jolter and the priest, who were the foremost of those who had been aroused by the noise, were not unmoved when they saw such a spectacle rushing into the chamber, from whence the lady of pleasure began to shriek The governor made a full halt, and the capuchin discovered no inclination to proceed. They were, however, by the pressure of the crowd that followed them, thrust for¬ ward to the door, through which the vision entered; and there Jolter,with great ceremony, complimented his reverence with the pass, beseeching him to walk in. The mendicant was too courteous and humble to accept this pre-eminence, and a very earnest dispute ensued ; during which the ass, in the course of his circuit, showed himself and rider, and in a trice decided the contest; for, struck with the second glimpse, both at one instant sprung backward with such force, as overturned the next men, who communicated the impulse to those that stood behind them, and these again to others; so that the whole passage was strewed with a long file of people., that lay in a line, like the sequel and depend PEREGRINE PICKLE. 327 dence of a pack of cards. In tlie midst of this havoc, our hero returned from his own room with an air of astonishment, ask¬ ing the cause of this uproar. Receiving such hints of intelli¬ gence as Joker’s consternation would permit him to give, he snatched the candle out of his hand, and advanced into the haunted chamber without hesitation, being followed by all present, who broke forth into a long and loud peal of laugh¬ ter, when they perceived the ludicrous source of their dis¬ quiet. The painter himself made an effort to join their mirth ; but he had been so harrowed by fear, and smarted so much with the pain of the discipline he had received from Pickle that he could not, with all his endeavour, vanquish the rue¬ fulness of his countenance. His attempt served only to in¬ crease the awkwardness of his situation, which was not at ail mended by the behaviour of the coquette, who, furious with her disappointment, slipped on a petticoat and bedgown, and, springing upon him like another Hecuba, with her nails deprived all one side of his nose of the skin, and would not have left him an eye to see through, if some of the company had not rescued him from her unmerciful talons. Provoked at this outrage, as well as by her behaviour to him in the di¬ ligence, he publicly explained his intention in entering her chamber in this equipage; and, missing the Hebrew among the spectators, assured them that he must have absconded somewhere in the apartment. In pursuance of this intima¬ tion, the room was immediately searched, and the mortified Levite pulled by the heels from his lurking place ; so that Pallet had the good fortune at last to transfer the laugh from himself to his rival and the French inamorata, who accord- ingly underwent the ridicule of the whole audience. CHAPTER EVIL Pallet endeavouring to unravel the mystery of the treatment he had received, falls out of the frying-pan into the fire . Nevertheless, Pallet was still confounded and chagrined cby one consideration, which was no other than that of hie 328 THE ADVENTURES OF % having been so roughly handled in the chamber belonging (as he found upon inquiry) to the handsome young lady who was under the capuchin’s direction. He recollected that the door was fast locked when his beast burst it open ; and he had no reason to believe that any person followed him in his irruption; on the other hand, he could not imagine that such a gentle creature would either attempt to commit, or be able to execute, such a desperate assault as that which his body had sustained ; and her demeanour was so modest and circumspect, that he durst not harbour the least suspi¬ cion of her virtue. These reflections bewildered him inthelabyrinth of thought; he rummaged his whole imagination, endeavouring to account for what had happened. At length he concluded, that either Peregrine, or the devil, or both, must have been at the bot¬ tom of the whole affair, and determined, for the satisfaction of his curiosity, to watch our hero’s motions, during the re¬ maining part of the night, so narrowly, that his conduct, mys¬ terious as it was, should not be able to elude his penetration. With these sentiments, he retired to his own room, after the ass had been restored to the right owners, and the priest bad visited and confirmed bis fair ward, who had been almost distracted with fear. Silence no sooner prevailed again, than he crawled darkling towards her door, and huddled himself up in an obscure corner, from whence he might observe the ingress or egress of any human creature. He had not long remained in this posture, when, fatigued with this adventure, and that of the preceding night, his faculties were gradu¬ ally overpowered with slumber ; and, falling fast asleep, he began to snore like a whole congregation of presbyterians. T1 ie Flemish beauty, bearing this discordant noise in the pas¬ sage began to be afraid of some new alarm, and very pru¬ dently bolted her door; so that when her lover wanted to re¬ peat his visit, he was not only surprised and incensed at this disagreeable serenade, the author of which he did not know ; but whem compelled by his passion, which was by this time wound to the highest pitch, he ventured to ap¬ proach the entrance, he had the extreme mortification to peregrine pickle. 320 find himself shut out. He durst not knock to signify his presence in any other manner, on account of the lady’s re¬ putation, which would have greatly suffered, had the snorer been waked by his endeavours. Had he known that the person who thus thwarted his views was the painter, he would have taken some effectual step to remove him ; but he could not conceive what should induce Pallet to take up his residence in that corner ; nor could lie use the assistance of a light to distinguish him, because there was not a candle burning in the house. It is impossible to describe the rage and vexation of our hero, while he continued thus tantalized upon the brink of bliss, after his desire had been exasperated by the circum¬ stances of his two former disappointments. He ejaculated a thousand execrations against his own fortune, cursed his fellow-travellers without exception, vowed revenge against the painter, who had twice confounded his most interesting scheme, and was tempted to execute immediate vengeance upon the unknown cause of his present miscarriage. In this agony of distraction did lie sweat two whole hours in the passage, though not without some faint hopes of being deli j vered from his tormentor, who, he imagined, upon waking, would undoubtedly shift his quarters, and leave the field free to his designs; but when he heard the cock repeat his salu¬ tation to the morn, which began to open on the rear of night, he could no longer restrain his indignation. Going to his own chamber, lie filled a basin with cold water, andj standing at some distance, discharged it full in the face of the gaping snorer, who, over and above the surprise occa¬ sioned by the application, was almost suffocated by the liquor that entered his mouth, and ran down into his wind-pipe. While he gasped like a person half drowned, without know, ing the nature of his disaster, or remembering the situation in which he fell asleep, Peregrine retired to his own door, and, to his no small astonishment, from a long howl that in¬ vaded his ears, learned that the patient was no other than Pallet, who had now for the third time baulked his good fortune. 330 THE ADVENTURES OF Enraged at the complicated trespasses of this unfortunate offender, he rushed from his apartment with a horse-whip, and encountering the painter in his flight, overturned him in the passage. There lie exerted the instrument of his wrath with great severity, on pretence of mistaking him for some presumptuous cur, which had disturbed the repose of the inn ; nay, when he called aloud for mercy in a suppli¬ cating tone, and his chastiser could no longer pretend to treat him as a quadruped, such was the virulence of the young gentleman’s indignation, that he could not help declaring his satisfaction, by telling Pallet he had richly deserved the pu¬ nishment he had undergone, for his madness, folly, and im¬ pertinence, in contriving and executing such idle schemes, as had no other tendency than that of plaguing his neighbours. Pallet protested with great vehemence, that he was inno¬ cent as the child unborn, of an intention to give umbrage to any person whatever, except the Israelite and his doxy, who he knew had incurred his displeasure. 4 But, as God is my saviour,’ said he, 4 I believe I am persecuted with witch¬ craft, and begin to think that damned priest is an agent for the devil; for he has been but two nights in our company, during which I have not closed an eye, but, on the con¬ trary, have been tormented by all the fiends of hell.’ Pickle peevishly replied, that his torments had been occasioned by his own foolish imagination; and asked him how he came to howl in that corner; the painter, who did not think pro¬ per to own the truth, said that he had been transported thither by some preternatural conveyance, and soused in wa¬ ter by an invisible hand. The youth, in hope of profiting by his absence, advised him to retire immediately to his bed, and by sleep strive to comfort his brain, which seemed to be not a little disordered by the want of that refreshment. Pallet himself began to be very much of the same way of thinking ; and, in compliance with such wholesome counsel, betook himself to rest, muttering prayers all the way for the reco¬ very of his own understanding. Pickle attended him to his chamber, and, locking him up, put the key in his own pocket, that he might not have it in PEREGRINE PICKLE. 331 his power to interrupt him again; but in his return he was met by Mr Jolter and the doctor, who had been a second time alarmed by the painter's cries, and come to inquire about this new adventure. Half frantic with such a series of dis¬ appointments, he cursed them in his heart for their unseason¬ able appearance. When they questioned him about Pallet, he told them he had found him stark staring mad, howling in a corner, and wet to the skin, and conducted him to his room, where he was now a-bed. The physician, hearing this circumstance, made a merit of his vanity ; and, under pretence of concern for the patient's welfare, desired he might have an opportunity of examining the symptoms of his disor¬ der without loss of time; alleging that many diseases might have been stifled in the birth, which afterwards baffled all the endeavours of the medical art. The young gentleman accordingly delivered the key, and once more withdrew into his own chamber, with a view of seizing the first occasion that should present itself of renewing his application to his Amanda’s door ; while the doctor, in his way to Pallet’s apart¬ ment, hinted to the governor his suspicion that the patient laboured under that dreadful symptom called the hydro- phobia, which, he observed, had sometimes appeared in per¬ sons who were not previously bit by a mad dog. This con¬ jecture he founded upon the howl he uttered when he was soused with water, and began to recollect certain circum¬ stances of the painter’s behaviour for some days past, which now he could plainly perceive had prognosticated some such calamity. He then ascribed the distemper to the violent frights he had lately undergone; affirmed that the affair of the Bastile had made such a violent encroachment upon his understanding, that his manner of thinking and speaking was entirely altered. By a theory of his own invention, he explained the effect of fear upon a loose system of nerves, and demonstrated the modus in which the animal spirits operate upon the ideas and power of imagination. This disquisition, which was communicated at the painter’s door, might have lasted till breakfast, had not Jolter remind¬ ed him of his own maxim, Vemeriti occur rite morbo; upon 332 THE ADVENTURES OP which he put the key to immediate use, and they walked softly towards the bed, where the patient lay extended at full length in the arms of sleep. The physician took notice of his breathing hard, and his mouth being open ; and from these diagnostics declared that the liquidum nervosum was in¬ timately affected, and the saliva impregnated with the spi- culated particles of the virus , howsoever contracted. This sentence was still farther confirmed by the state of his pulse, which, being full and slow, indicated an oppressed circula¬ tion, from a loss of elasticity in the propelling arteries. He proposed that he should immediately suffer a second asper¬ sion of water, which would not only contribute to the cure, but also certify them beyond all possibility of doubt, with re¬ gard to the state of the disease ; for it would evidently appear, from the manner in which lie would bear the application, whether or not his horror of water amounted to a confirmed hydrophobia. Mr Jolter, in compliance with this proposal, began to empty a bottle of water, which lie found in the room, in a basin ; when he was interrupted by the prescriber, who advised him to use the contents of the chamber-pot, which, being impregnated with salt, v. r ould operate more ef¬ fectually than pure element. Thus directed, the governor lifted up the vessel, which was replete with medicine, and, with one turn of his hand, discharged the whole healing in¬ undation upon the ili-omened patient, who, waking in the utmost distraction of horror, yelled most hideously, just at the time when Peregrine had brought his mistress to a par¬ ley, and entertained hopes of being admitted into her cham¬ ber. Terrified at this exclamation, she instantly broke off the treaty, beseeching him to retire from the door, that her ho¬ nour might receive no injury from his being found in that place : and he bad just enough of recollection left to see the necessity of obeying the order; in conformity to which be retreated, well nigh deprived of his senses, and almost per¬ suaded that so many unaccountable disappointments must have proceeded from some supernatural cause, of which the ideot Pallet was no more than the involuntary instrument PEREGRINE PICKLE 333 Meanwhile the doctor, having ascertained the malady of the patient, whose cries, interrupted by frequent sobs and sighs, he interpreted into the barking of a dog, and having no more salt water at hand, resolved to renew the bath with such materials as chance would afford. He actually laid hold of the bottle and basin ; but by this time the painter had recovered the use of his senses so well, as to perceive his drift; and, starting up like a frantic bedlamite, ran directly to his sword, swearing, with many horrid imprecations, that he would murder them both immediately, if he should be hanged before dinner. They did not chuse to wait the issue of his threat, but retired with such precipitation, that the physician had almost dislocated his shoulder, by run- iiing against one side of the entry. Jolter, having pulled the door after him, and turned the key, betook himself to flight, roaring aloud for assistance. His colleague, seeing the door secured, valued himself upon his resolution, and exhorted him to return ; declaring, that, for his own part, he was more afraid of the madman’s teeth than of his weapon, and admonishing the governor to re-enter, and execute what they had left undone. 6 Go in,’ said he 6 without fear or ap¬ prehension, and if any accident shall happen to you, either from his slaver or his sword, I wiil assist you with my advice, which from this station I can more coolly and distinctly ad¬ minister, than I should be able to supply, if my ideas were disturbed, or my attention engaged in any personal concern.' 9 Jolter, who could make no objection to the justness of the conclusion, frankly owned, that he had no inclination to try the experiment; observing that self-preservation was the first law of nature ; that his connections with the unhappy lunatic were but slight; and that it could not be reasonably expect¬ ed that he would run such risks for his service, as were de¬ clined by one who had set out with him from England on the footing of a companion. This insinuation introduced a dispute upon the nature of benevolence and the moral sense^ which, the republican aigued, existed independent of any private consideration, and could never be affected by any contingent circumstance of time and fortune; while the other, THE ADVENTURES OF 334 . who abhorred his principles, asserted the duties and tfxcel- lence of private friendship with infinite rancour of alterca¬ tion. During the hottest of the argument, they were joined by the capuchin, who, being astonished to see them thus viru¬ lently engaged at the door, and to hear the painter bellow¬ ing within the chamber, conjured them, in the name of God, to tell him the cause of that confusion, which had kept the whole house in continual alarm during the best part of the night, and seemed to be the immediate work of the devil and his angels. When the governor gave him to understand that Pallet was visited with an evil spirit, he muttered a prayer of St Antonio de Padua, and undertook to cure the painter, provided he could be secured, so as that he might, without danger to himself, burn part of a certain relic under his nose, which he assured them was equal to the miraculous power of Eleazar’s ring. They expressed great curiosity to know what this treasure was; and the priest was prevailed upon to tell them, in confidence, that it was a collection of the parings of the nails belonging to those two madmen whom Jesus purged of the legion of devils that afterwards entered the swine. So saying, he pulled from one of his pockets a small box, containing about an ounce of the parings of an horsed hoof; at sight of which, the governor could not help smiling, on account of the grossness of the imposition. The doctor asked, with a supercilious smile, whether those ma¬ niacs, whom Jesus cured, were of the sorrel complexion, or dapple grey; for, from the texture of these parings, he could prove, that the original owners were of the quadruped order, and even distinguish that their feet had been fortified with shoes of iron. The mendicant, who bore an inveterate grudge against this son of iEscuiapius, ever since he had made so free with the catholic religion, replied, with great bitterness, that he was a wretch, with whom no Christian ought to communi¬ cate ; that the vengeance of Heaven would one day overtake him, on account of his profanity; and that his heart was shod with a metal much harder than iron, which nothing but hell-fire would be able to melt. PEREGRINE PICKLE. 3S5 It was now broad day, and all the servants of the inn were a-foot. Peregrine, seeing it would be impossible to obtain any sort of indemnification for the time he had lost, and the perturbation of his spirits hindering him from enjoying re¬ pose, which was, moreover, obstructed by the noise of Pallet and his attendants, put on his clothes at once, and, in exceed-, ing ill humour, arrived at the spot where this triumvirate stood debating about the means of overpowering the furious painter, who still continued his song of oaths and execrations, and made sundry efforts to break open the door. Chagrined as our hero was, he could not help laughing when lie heard how the patient had been treated ; and his indignation change ing into compassion, he called to him through the key-hole, desiring: to know the reason of his distracted behaviour. Pal- let no sooner recognised his voice, than lowering his own to a whimpering tone ,— 6 My dear friend,’ said he, 1 I have at last detected the ruffians who have persecuted me so much. I caught them in the fact of suffocating me with cold water ; and by the Lord I will be revenged, or may I never live to finish my Cleopatra. For the love of God, open the door, and I will make that conceited pagan, that pretender to taste, that false devotee of the ancients, who poisons people with sillykickabies and devil’s dung; I say, I will make him a monument of my wrath, and an example to all the cheats and impostors of the faculty: and as for that thick-headed insolent pedant, his confederate, w r ho emptied my own jordan upon me while I slept, he had better been in his beloved Paris, botching schemes for his friend the pretender, than incur the effects of my resentment ; gadsbodikins ! I w^on’t leave him a windpipe for the hangman to stop at the end of another rebellion.’ Pickle told him his conduct had been so extravagant, as to confirm the whole company in the belief that he was ac¬ tually deprived of his senses ; on which supposition Mr J-oI- ter and the doctor had acted the part of friends, in doing that which they thought most conducive to his recovery ; so that their concern merited his thankful acknowledgment, instead of his frantic menaces; that, for his own part, he would be the first to condemn him, as one utterly bereft of bis wits. 336 THE ADVENTURES OE and give orders for his being secured as a madman, unless he would immediately give a proof of his sanity, by laying aside his sword, composing his spirits, and thanking his in¬ jured friends for their care of his person. This alternative quieted his transports in a moment; he was terrified at the apprehension of being treated like a bed¬ lamite, being dubious of the state of his own brain ; and, on the other hand, had conceived such a horror and antipathy for his tormentors, that, far from believing himself obliged by what they had done, he could not even think of them with¬ out the utmost rage and detestation. Ife, therefore, in the most tranquil voice he could assume, protested, that he never was less out of his senses than at present, though he did not know how long he might retain them, if he should be con¬ sidered in the light of a lunatic ; that, in order to prove his being compos mentis , he was willing to sacrifice the resent¬ ment he so justly harboured against those who, by their malice, had brought him to this pass ; but, as he apprehend¬ ed it would be the greatest sign of madness he amid exhibit, to thank them for the mischiefs they had brought upon him, he desired to be excused from making any such concession : and swore he would endure every thing, rather than be guil¬ ty of such mean absurdity. Peregrine held a consultation upon this reply, when the governor and physician strenuously argued against any ca¬ pitulation with a maniac, and proposed that some method might be taken to seize, fetter, and convey him into a dark room, where he might be treated according to the rules of art. But the capuchin, understanding the circumstances of the case, undertook to restore him to his former state, with¬ out having any recourse to such violent measures. Pickle, who was a better judge of the affair than any person present, opened the door without further hesitation, and displayed the poor painter standing with a woful countenance, shivering in his shirt, which was as wet as if he had been dragged through the Dender: a spectacle which gave such offence to the* chaste eyes of the Hebrew's mistress, who was by this time one of the spectators, that she turned her head another way. PEREGRINE PICKLE. 337 and withdrew to her own room, exclaiming against the in¬ decent practices of men. Pallet, seeing the young gentleman enter, ran to him, and, shaking him by the hand, called him his best friend, and said he had rescued him from those who had a design against, his life. The priest would have produced his parings, and applied them to his nose, but was hindered by Pickle, who advised the patient to shift himself, and put on his clothes. This being done with great order and deliberation, Mr Jol- ter, who, with the doctor, had kept a wary distance, in ex¬ pectation of seeing some strange effects of his distraction, be¬ gan to believe that he had been guilty of a mistake, and ac¬ cused the physician of having misled him by his false diag¬ nostic. The doctor still insisted upon his former declaration, assuring him, that although Pallet enjoyed a short interval for the present, the delirium would soon recur, unless they would profit by this momentary calm, and ordered him to be blooded, blistered, and purged, with all imaginable dispatch. The governor, however, notwithstanding this caution, ad¬ vanced to the injured party, and begged pardon for the share he had in giving him such disturbance. He declared, in the most solemn manner, that he had no other intention than that of contributing towards his welfare, and that his behaviour was the result of the physician's prescription, which he affirmed was absolutely necessary for the recovery of his health. The painter, who had very little gall in his disposition, was satisfied with this apology ; but his resentment, which was before divided, now glowed with double fire against his first fellow-traveller, whom he looked upon as the author of all the mischances he had undergone, and marked out for his vengeance accordingly. Yet the doors of reconciliation were not shut against the doctor, who, with great justice, might have transferred this load of offence from himself to Peregrine, who was, without doubt, the source of the paint¬ er’s misfortune: but, in that case, he must have owned him¬ self mistaken in his medical capacity; and he did not think the friendship of Pallet important enough to be retrieved by Vol. If. y THE ADVENTURES OF such condescension ; so that he resolved to neglect him en¬ tirely? and gradually forget the former correspondence he had maintained with a person whom he deemed so unworthy of his notice. CHAPTER LVIII. Peregrine , almost distracted with his disappointments , conjures- the fair Fleming to permit his visits at Brussels—she with - draws from his pursuit . TL kings being thus adjusted, and all the company dressed? they went to breakfast about five in the morning ; and in less than an hour after were seated in the diligence, where a pro¬ found silence prevailed. Peregrine, who used to be the life of the society, was extremely pensive and melancholy on account of his mishap; the Israelite and his Dulcincadeject¬ ed, in consequence of their disgrace; the poet absorpt in lofty meditation, the painter in-schemes of revenge, while Joker, rocked by the motion of the carriage, made himself amends for the want of rest he had sustained ; and the men¬ dicant, with lus fair charge, were infected by the cloudy as¬ pect of our youth, in whose disappointment each of them, for different reasons, bore no inconsiderable share. This general languor and recess from all bodily exercise disposed them all to receive the gentle yoke of slumber ; and, in half an hour after they had embarked, there was not one of them awake, except our hero and his mistress, unless the capu¬ chin was pleased to counterfeit sleep, in order to indulge our young gentleman with an opportunity of enjoying some pri¬ vate conversation with his beauteous ward. Peregrine did not neglect the occasion ; but, on the con¬ trary, seized the first minute, and, in gentle murmurs,lament¬ ed his hard hap in being thus the sport of fortune. He as* sured her (and that with great sincerity), that all the cross accidents of his life had not cost him one half of the vexa¬ tion and keenness of chagrin which he had suffered last night; and that, now he was on the brink of parting from her, he PEREGRINE PICKLE. 339 Should be overwhelmed with the blackest despair.* if she would not extend her compassion so far as to give him an opportunity of sighing at her feet in Brussels, during the few days his affairs would permit him to spend in that city. This young lady, with an air of mortification, expressed her sorrow for being the innocent cause of his anxiety ; said, she hoped last night’s adventure would be a salutary warn¬ ing to both their souls, for she was persuaded that her vir¬ tue was protected by the intervention of Heaven ; that, what¬ ever impression it might have made upon him, she was en¬ abled by it to adhere to that duty from which her passion had begun to swerve ; and, beseeching him to forget her for his own peace, gave him to understand, that neither the plan she had laid down for her own conduct, nor the die tates of her honour, would allow her to receive his visits, or carry on any other correspondence with him, while she was restricted by the articles of her marriage vow. This explanation produced such a violent effect upon her admirer, that he was for some minutes deprived of the fa¬ culty of speech ; which he no sooner recovered, than he gave vent to the most unbridled transports of passion. He taxed her with barbarity and indifference; told her, that she had robbed him of his reason and internal peace; that he would follow her to the ends of the earth, and cease to live sooner than cease to love her; that he would sacrifice the innocent fool who had been the occasion of all this disquiet, and mur¬ der every man whom he considered as an obstruction to his views. In a word, his passions, which had continued so long in a state of the highest fermentation, together with the want of that repose which calms and quiets the perturbation of the spirits, had wrought him up to a pitch of real distrac¬ tion. While he uttered these delirious expressions, the tears ran down his cheeks ; and he underwent such agitation that the tender heart of the fair Fleming was affected with bis condition ; and, while her own face was bedewed with the streams of sympathy, she begged him, for Heaven’s sake, to be composed; and promised, for his satisfaction, to abate somewhat of the rigour of her purpose. Consoled by y 2 THE ADVENTURES OF 340 this kind declaration, he recollected himself; and, taking out his pencil, gave her his address, when she had assured him that he should hear from her in four-and-twenty hours- at farthest after their separation. Thus soothed, he regained the empire of himself, and, by degrees, recovered his serenity. But this was not the case with his Amanda, who, from this sample of his disposition, dreaded the impetuosity of his youth, and was effectually deterred from entering into any engagements that might sub¬ ject her peace and reputation to the rash effects of such a violent spirit Though she was captivated by his person and accomplishments, she had reflection enough to foresee, that the longer she countenanced his passion, her own heart would be more and more irretrievably engaged, and the quiet of her life the more exposed to continual interruption. She therefore profited by these considerations, and a sense of religious honour, which helped her to withstand the sug¬ gestions of inclination, and resolved to amuse her lover with false hopes, until she should have it in her power to relin¬ quish bis conversation, without running any risk of suffer¬ ing by the inconsiderate sallies of his love. It was with this view that she desired he would not insist upon attend¬ ing her to her mother’s house, when the diligence arrived at Brussels ; and he, cajoled by her artifice, took a formal leave of her, together with the other strangers, fixing bis habitation at the inn to which he and his fellow-travellers had been directed, in the impatient expectation of receiv¬ ing a kind summons from her within the limited time. Meanwhile, in order to divert his imagination, he went to see the stadthouse, park, and arsenal, took a superficial view of the bookseller’s cabinet of curiosities, and spent the evening at the Italian opera, which w r as at that time exhi¬ bited for tlie entertainment of Prince Charles of Lorraine, then governor of the Low Countries. In short, the stated period was almost elapsed, when Peregrine received a letter to this purpose :— ‘ Sir, if you knew what violence I do my own heart, in declar¬ ing that I have withdrawrwnyself far ever from your addresses, PEREGRINE PICKLE. you would surely applaud the sacrifice I make to virtue, and strive to imitate this example of self-denial. Yes, Sir, Heaven hath lent me grace to struggle with my guilty passion, and henceforth to avoid the dangerous sight of him who inspired it. I therefore con¬ jure you, by the regard you ought to have for the eternal welfare of us both, as well as by the esteem and affection you process, to war with your unruly inclination, and desist fr >m ail attempts of frustrating the laudable resolution 1 have made. Seek not to in¬ vade the peace of one who loves you, to disturb the quiet of a fa¬ mily that never did you wrong, and to alienate the thoughts of a weak woman from a deserving man, who, by the most sacred claim, ought to have the full possession of her heart.’ This billet, without either date or subscription, banished all remains of discretion from the mind of our hero, who ran instantly to the landlord, in all the ecstacy of madness, and demanded to see the messenger who brought the letter, on pain of putting his whole family to the sword. The inn¬ keeper, terrified by bis looks and menaces, fell upon bis knees, protesting in the face of heaven, that he was utterly ignorant and innocent of any thing that could give him offence, and •that the billet was brought by a person whom he did not know, and who retired immediately, saying it required no answer. He then gave utterance to his fury in a thousand imprecations and invectives against the writer, whom he dis¬ honoured with the appellations of a coquette, a jilt, an ad¬ venturer, wfiio, by means of a pimping priest, had defrauded him of his money. He denounced vengeance against the mendicant, whom he swore he would destroy, if ever he set eyes on him again. The painter unluckily appearing during •this paroxysm of rage, lie seized him by the throat, saying, lie was ruined by his accursed folly ; end, in all likelihood^ poor Pallet would have been strangled, had not Jolter inter¬ posed in his behalf, beseeching ins pupil to have mercy upon the sufferer, and, with infinite anxiety, desiring to know the cause of this violent assault, tie received no answer but a string of incoherent curses. When the painter, with un.* speakable astonishment, took God to witness that he had done nothing to disoblige him, the governor began to think, in sad earnest, that Peregrine’s vivacityr had at length risen to 342 THE ADVENTURES OF the transports of actual madness, and was himself almost distracted with this supposition. That he might the better judge what remedy ought to be applied, he used his whole influence, and practised all his eloquence upon the youth, in order to learn the immediate cause of his delirium. He em¬ ployed the most pathetic entreaties, and even shed tears in the course of his supplication ; so that Pickle (the first vio¬ lence of the hurricane being blown over) was ashamed of his own imprudence, and retired to his chamber, in order to re¬ collect his dissipated thoughts. There he shut himself up, and, for the second time, perusing the fatal epistle, began to ~waver in his opinion of the author's character and intention. He sometimes considered her as one of those nymphs who, under the mask of innocence and simplicity, practise upon the hearts and purses of unwary and unexperienced youths. This was the suggestion of his wrath, inflamed by disap¬ pointment ; but when he reflected upon the circumstances of her behaviour, and recalled her particular charms to his imagination, the severity of his censure gave w r ay, and his heart declared in favour of her sincerity. Yet even this consideration aggravated the sense of his loss, and he was in danger of relapsing into his former distraction, when his passion was a little becalmed by the hope of seeing her again, either by accident, or in the course of a diligent and minute inquiry, which he forthwith resolved to set on foot. He had reason to believe that her own heart w ould espouse his cause, in spite of her virtue’s determination, and did not de¬ spair of metting with the capuchin, whose good offices he knew he could at any time command. Comforted with these reflections, the tempest of his soul subsided. In less than two hours he joined his company, with an air of composure, and asked the painter’s forgiveness for the freedom he had taken—the cause of which lie promised hereafter to explain. Pallet was glad of being reconciled on any terms to one whose countenance supported him in equilibrio with his antagonist the doctor; and Mr Jolter was rejoiced beyond measure p,p }i is pupil's recovery. PEREGRINE PICKLE. CHAPTER LIX. 3 Peregrine meets with Mrs Hornbeck , and is consoled for his loss—his valet de chambre is embroiled with her duenna , whom , however , Ae means to appease. Every thing having thus resumed its natural channel, they dined together in great tranquillity. In the afternoon. Pe¬ regrine, on pretence of staying at home to write letters, w hile his companions were at the coffeehouse, ordered a coach to be called, and, with his valet de chambre, who was the only person acquainted with the present state of his thoughts, set out for the promenade, to which all the ladies of fashion resort in the evening during the summer season, in hopes ot seeing his fugitive among the rest. Having made a circuit round the walk, and narrowly observed every female in the place, he perceived at some distance the livery of Hornbeck upon a lacquey that stood at the back of a coach ; upon which he ordered his man to reconnoitre the said carriage, while he pulled up his glasses, that he might not be discovered, before he should have re¬ ceived some intelligence, by which he might conduct him¬ self on this unexpected occasion, that already began to in¬ terfere with the purpose of his coming thither, though it could not dispute his attention with the idea of his charming unknown. His Mercury having made his observations, reported, that there was nobody in the coach but Airs Hornbeck and an elderly woman, who had all the air of a duenna, and that the servant was not the same footman that had attended them in France. Encouraged by this information, our hero ordered himself to be driven close up to that side of their convenience on which his old mistress sat; and accosted her with the usual salutation. This lady no sooner beheld her gallant, than her cheeks reddened with a double glow ; and she exclaimed,— 4 Dear brother, I am overjoyed to see you; pray come int© our coach.’ He took the hint immediately 9 and, complying with her request, embraced this new sister with great affection. THE ADVENTURES OP Perceiving that her attendant was very much surprised and alarmed at this unexpected meeting, she, in order to banish her suspicion, and at the same time give her lover his cue, told him, that his brother (meaning her husband) was gone to the Spa for a few weeks, by the advice of physicians, on account of his ill state of health ; and that, from his last let¬ ter, she had the pleasure to tell him, he was in a fair way of doing well. The young gentleman expressed his satisfaction at this piece of news; observing, with an air of fraternal con¬ cern, that if his brother had not made too free with his con¬ stitution, his friends in England would have had no occasion to repine at his absence and want of health, by which lie was banished from his own country and connections. He then asked (with an affectation of surprise), why she had not ac¬ companied her spouse ; and was given to understand, that his tenderness of affection would not suffer him to expose her to the fatigues of the journey, which lay among rocks that were almost inaccessible. The duenna’s doubts being eased by this preamble of con¬ versation, he changed the subject to the pleasures of the place, and, among other such questions, inquired if she had as yet visited Versailles. This is a public-house, situated upon the canal, at the distance of about two miles from town, accommodated with tolerable gardens for the entertainment of company. When she replied in the negative, he proposed to accompany her thither immediately ; but the governante, who had hitherto sat silent, objected to this proposal, telling them, in broken English, that as the lady w r as under her care, she could not answer to Mr Hornbeck for allowing her to go and visit such a suspicious place. c As for that matter, madam,’ said the confident gallant, 6 give yourself no trouble ; the consequences shall be at my peril, and I will undertake to insure you against my brother’s resentment.’ So saying, he directed the coachman to the place, and or¬ dered his own to follow, under the auspices of his valet de chambre, while the old gentlewoman, over-ruled by his as¬ surance, quietly submitted to his authority. Being arrived at the place, he handed the ladies from the coach,, and then, for the first time, observed that the duenna peregrine picicle. was lame ; a circumstance of which lie did not scruple to take the advantage; for they had scarce alighted, and drank a glass of wine, when he advised his sister to enjoy a walk in the garden ; and although the attendant made shift to keep them almost always in view, they enjoyed a detached con¬ versation, in which Peregrine learned, that the true cause of her being lett behind at Brussels, while her husband proceed¬ ed to Spa, was the dread of the company and familiarities ot that place, to which his jealousy durst not expose her; and that she had lived three weeks in a convent at Lisle, from which she was delivered by his own free motion, because, in¬ deed, he .could no longer exist without her company; and, lastly, our lover understood, that her governance was a mere dragon, who had been recommended to him by a Spanish merchant, whose wife she attended to her dying; day : but she very much questioned whether or not her fidelity was proof enough against money and strong waters. Peregrine assured her the experiment should be tried before parting; and they agreed to pass the night at Versailles, provided his endeavours should succeed. Having exercised themselves in this manner, until the du¬ enna’s spirits were pretty much exhausted, tliat she might be the better disposed to recruit them with a glass of liquor, they returned to their apartment, and the cordial was recommend¬ ed and received in a bumper; but as it did not produce such a visible alteration as the sanguine hopes of Pickle had made him expect, and the old gentlewoman observed that it began to be late, and that the gates would be shut in a little time, he filled up a parting glass, and pledged her in equal quantity. Her blood was too much chilled to be warmed even by this extraordinary dose, which made immediate innovation in tlio brain of our youth, who, in the gaiety of his imagination, overwhelmed this she Argus with such profusion of gallantry, that she was more intoxicated with his expressions than with the spirits she had drank. When, in the course of toying, lie dropped a purse into her bosom, she seemed to forget how the night wore, and, with the approbation of her charge, assented to Lis proposal of having something for supper. 346 THE ADVENTURES OF This was a great point which our adventurer had gained ; and yet he plainly perceived that the governante mistook his meaning, by giving herself credit for all the passion he had professed. As this error could be rectified by no other means than those of plying her with the bottle, until her distinguish¬ ing faculties should be overpowered, he promoted a quick circulation. She did him justice, without any manifest signs -of inebriation, so long, that his own eyes began to reel in the sockets ; and he found, that, before his scheme could be ae. complished, he should be effectually unfitted for all the pur¬ poses of love. He, therefore, had recourse to his valet de chambre, who understood the hint as soon as it was given, and readily undertook to perform the part, of which his master had played the prelude. This affair being settled to his satisfaction, and the night at odds with morning, he took an opportunity of imparting to the ear of this aged Dulcinea a kind whisper, importing a promise of visiting her, when his sister should be retired to her own chamber, and an earnest desire of leaving her door unlocked. This agreeable intimation being communicated, he convey¬ ed a caution of the same nature to Mrs Hornbeek, as he led her to her aparment^ and darkness and silence no sooner prevailed in the house, than he and his trusty squire set out on their different voyages. Every thing would have succeed¬ ed according to their wish, had not the valet de chambre suffered himself to fall asleep at the side of his inamorata, and, in the agitatation of a violent dream, exclamed in a voice so unlike that of her supposed adorer, that she distin¬ guished the difference at once. Waking him with a pinch and a loud shriek, she threatened to prosecute him for a rape, and reviled him with all the epithets her rage and dis¬ appointment could suggest. The Frenchman, finding himself detected, behaved with great temper and address : he begged she would compose herself, on account of her own reputation,which was extreme¬ ly dear to him; protesting, that he had a most inviolable esteem for her person. Ilis representations had weight with the duenna* who, upon recollection, comprehended the whole \ PEREGRINE PICKLE. 34 ? ^affair, and thought it would be her interest to bring matters to an accommodation. She, therefore, admitted the apolo¬ gies of her bed-fellow, provided he would promise to atone by marriage for the injury she had sustained ; and in this particular, he set her heart at ease by repeated vows, which he uttered with surprising volubility, though without any intention to perform the least tittle of their contents. Peregrine, who had been alarmed by her exclamation, and run over to the door with a view of interposing, according to the emergency of the case, hearing the affair thus com¬ promised, returned to his mistress, who was highly entertain¬ ed with an account of what had passed, foreseeing, that, for the future, she should be under no difficulty or restriction from the severity of her guard. CHAPTER LX. JlorribecJc is informed of his wife's adventure witji Peregrine , for whom he prepares a stratagem, which is rendered, ineffec¬ tual by the information of Pipes—the husband ducked for his intention , and our hero apprehended by the patrole. T- here was another person, however, still ungained; and that was no other than her footman, whose secrecy our hero attempted to secure in the morning by a handsome present which he received with many professions of gratitude and devotion to his service; yet this complaisance was nothing but a cloak used to disguise the design he harboured of ma king his master acquainted with the whole transaction. In¬ deed this lacquey had been hired, not only as a spy upon his mistress, but also as a check on the conduct of the gover- nante, with promise of ample reward, if ever he should dis¬ cover any sinister or suspicious practices in the course of her behaviour. As for the footman whom they had brought from England, he was retained in attendance upon the person of his master, whose confidence he had lost, by advising him to gentle methods of reclaiming his lady, when her irregulari¬ ties had subjected her to his wrath. 348 THE ADVENTURES OF The Flemish valet, in consequence of the office he had undertaken, wrote to Hornbeck by the first post, giving an exact detail of the adventure at Versailles, with such a de¬ scription of the pretended brother, as left the husband no room to think he could be any other person than his first dishonourer; and exasperated him to such a degree, that he resolved to lay an ambush for this invader, and at once dis¬ qualify him from disturbing his repose, by maintaining fur¬ ther correspondence with his wife. Meanwhile, the lovers enjoyed themselves without re¬ straint ; and Peregrine's plan of inquiry after his dear un¬ known was for the present postponed. His fellow-travellers were confounded at his mysterious motions, which filled the heart of Jolter with anxiety and terror. This careful con¬ ductor was fraught with such experience of his pupil’s dis¬ position, that he trembled with the apprehension of some sudden accident, and lived in continual alarm, like a man that w r alks under the w r all of a nodding tower. Nor did he enjoy any alleviation of his fears, when, upon telling the young gentleman, that the rest of the company were desi¬ rous of departing for Antwerp, he answered, that they were at liberty to consult their own inclinations ; but for his own part, he v r as resolved to stay in Brussels a few days longer. By this declaration, the governor was confirmed in the opi¬ nion of his having some intrigue upon the anvil. In the bit¬ terness of his vexation, he took the liberty of signifying his suspicion, and reminding him of the dangerous dilemmas to which he had been reduced by his former precipitation. Peregrine took his caution in good part, and promised to behave with such circumspection as would screen him from any troublesome consequences for the future; but neverthe¬ less, behaved that same evening in such a manner, as plainly showed, that his prudence was nothing else than vain specula¬ tion. He had made an appointment to spend the night, as usual, with Airs Hornbeck ; and, about nine o’clock, hasten¬ ed to her lodgings, wdien he was accosted in the street by his old discarded friend Thomas Pipes, who, without any other preamble, told him, that, for all he had turned him adrift PEREGRINE PICKLE, 319 he did not chuse to see him run full sail into his enemy’s harbour, without giving him timely notice of the dan or. * I 11 tell you what, said he, 4 mayhap you think I want to curry favour, that I may be taken in tow again ; if you do, you have made a mistake in your reckoning, I am old enough to be laid up, and have where withal to keep my planks from the weather. But this here is the affair ; I have known you since you were no higher than a marl in spike, and should’nt care to see you deprived of your rigging at these years; whereby, I am informed by Hornbeck’s man, whom I this afternoon fell in with by chance, as how his master has got intelligence of your boarding his wife, and has steered privately into this port, with a large complement of hands, in order, d’ye see, to secure you while you are un¬ der the hatches. Now, if so be as how you have a mind to give him a salt eel for his supper, here am I, without hope of fee or reward, ready to stand by you as long as my tim¬ bers will stick together ; and if I expect any recompence, may I be bound to eat oakum and drink bilgewator for life.’ Startled at this information, Peregrme examined him upon the particulars of his discourse with the lacquev ; and when he understood that Horn beck’s intelligence flowed from the canal of bis 1* icmisli footman, be believed every circum¬ stance of 3 oin s report, thanked him for this warning, and, after having reprimanded him for bis misbehaviour at Lisle, assured him that it should be his own fault if ever they should part again. lie then deliberated with himself whe¬ ther or not he should retort the purpose upon his adver¬ sary ; but when nc considered that Hornbeek was not the aggressor, and made that unhappy husband’s case his own, he could not help acquitting his intention of revenge, though, in his opinion, it ought to have been executed in a more honourable manner ; and therefore be determined to chas¬ tise him for his want of spirit. Nothing, su elv, cm' b more insolent and unjust than this determination, , Inch induced him to punish a person for his want of courage to redress the injury which he himself had done to his reputation and peace; and yet tins barbarity of decision is authorised by the opinion and practice of mankind. 350 THE ADVENTURES OF With these sentiments, he returned to the inn, and, put* ting a pair of pistols in his pocket, ordered his valet de chain- bre and Pipes to follow him at a small distance, so as that they should be within call in case of necessity, and then post¬ ed himself within thirty yards of his Dulcinea’s door. There he had not been above half an hour, when he perceived four men take their station on the other side, witli a view, as he guessed, to watch for his going in, that he might be taken unaware. But when they had tarried a considerable time in that corner, without reaping the fruits of their expectation, their leader, persuaded that the gallant had gained admit¬ tance by some secret means, approached the door with his followers, who, according to the instructions they had re¬ ceived, no sooner saw it opened than they rushed in, leav¬ ing their employer in the street, where he thought his per¬ son would be least endangered. Our adventurer, seeing him all alone, advanced with speed, and, clapping a pistol to his breast, commanded him to follow his footsteps, with¬ out noise, on pain of immediate death. Terrified at this sudden apparition, Hornbeck obeyed in silence; and, in a few minutes* they arrived at the quay r , where Pickle, halting, gave him to understand that he was no stranger to his villanous design—told him, that if he con¬ ceived himself injured by any circumstance of his conduct, he would now give him an opportunity of resenting the wrong, in a manner becoming a man of honour. 6 You have a sword about you,’ said he, 4 or, if you don’t chuse to put the affair on that issue, here is a brace of pistols, take which you please.’ Such an address could not fail to dis¬ concert a man of his character. After some hesitation, he, in a faultering accent, denied that his design was to mutilate Mr Pickle, but that he thought himself entitled to the be¬ nefit of the law, by which he would have obtained a di¬ vorce, if he could have procured evidence of his wife’s in¬ fidelity ; and, with that view, he had employed people to take advantage of the information he had received. With regard to this alternative, he declined it entirely, because he could not see what satisfaction he should enjoy, in being peregrine pickle. 351 shot through the head, or run through the lungs, by a per¬ son who had already wronged him in an irreparable man¬ ner. ^Lastly, his fear made him propose, that the affair should be left to the arbitration of two creditable men, al¬ together unconcerned in the dispute. To these remonstrances, Peregrine replied, in the style of a hot-headed young man, conscious of his own unjustifiable behaviour, that every gentleman ought to be a judge of his own honour, and therefore he would submit to the decision of no umpire whatsoever; that he would forgive his want of courage, which might be a natural infirmity, but his mean dissimulation he could not pardon : that, as he was certified of the rascally intent of his ambuscade, by undoubt-, ed intelligence, he would treat him, not with a retaliation of his own treachery, but with such indignity as a scoundrel deserves to suffer, unless he would make one effort to main¬ tain the character he assumed in life. So saying, he again presented his pistols, which being rejected as before, he call¬ ed his two ministers, and ordered them to duck him in the canal. This command was pronounced and executed almost in the same breath, to the unspeakable terror and disorder of the poor shivering patient, who, having undergone the im¬ mersion, ran about like a drowned rat, squeaking for as¬ sistance and revenge. His cries were overheard by the pa- trole, who, chancing to pass that way, took him under their protection, and, in consequence of his complaint and infor¬ mation, went in pursuit of our adventurer and his attendants, who were soon overtaken and surrounded. Hash and in¬ considerate as the young gentleman was, lie did not pretend to stand upon the defensive against a file of musketeers, al¬ though Pipes had drawn his cutlass at their approach, but surrendered himself without opposition, and was conveyed to the main guard, where the commanding officer, engag¬ ed by his appearance and address, treated him with all im¬ aginable respect. Hearing the particulars of his adventure, he assured him that the prince would consider the whole as a tour dejennvsse, and order him to be released without delay* THE ADVENTURES OF 352 Next morning, when this gentleman gave in his report, he made such a favourable representation of the prisoner 9 that our hero was on the point of being discharged, when Hornbeck preferred a complaint, accusing him of a purpos¬ ed assassination, and praying that such punishment should be inflicted upon him as his highness should think adequate to the nature of the crime. The prince, perplexed with this petition, in consequence of which he foresaw that he must disoblige a British subject, sent for the plaintiff, of whom he had some knowledge, and in person exhorted him to drop the prosecution, which would only serve to propagate his own shame. But Hornbeck was too much incensed to listen to any proposal of that kind, and peremptorily demanded justice against the prisoner, whom he represented as an obscure adventurer, who had made repeated attempts upon his honour and his life. Prince Charles told him, that what he had advised was in the capacity of a friend; but, since he insisted upon his acting as a magistrate, the affair should be examined, and determined according to the die- tates of justice and truth. The petitioner being dismissed with this promise, the defendant was, in his turn, brought before the judge, whose prepossession in his favour was in a great measure weaken¬ ed by what his antagonist had said to the prejudice of his birth and reputation. CHAPTER LXI. Peregrine is released—Joiler confounded at his mysterious conduct—a contest happens between the poet and painter , who are reconciled by the mediation of their fellow-travellers. Our hero, understanding, from some expressions which escaped the prince, that he was considered in the light of a sharper and assassin, begged that he might have the liberty of sending for some vouchers, that would probably vindicate his character from the malicious aspersions of his adversary. This permission being granted, he wrote a letter to his go- PEREGRINE PICKLE. 353 vernor, desiring that he would bring to him the letters of recommendation which he had received from the British am¬ bassador at Paris, and such other papers as he thought con¬ ducive to evince the importance of his situation. The billet was given in charge to one of the subaltern officers on duty, who carried it to the inn, and demanded to speak with Mr Jolter. Pallet, who happened to be at the door when this messenger arrived, and heard him inquire for the tutor, ran directly to that gentleman’s apartment, and, in manifest disorder, told him that a huge fellow of a sob* dier, with a monstrous pair of whiskers, and a fur cap as big as a bushel, was asking for him at the door. The poor go¬ vernor began to shake at this intimation, though he was not conscious of having committed any thing that could attract the attention of the state. When the officer appeared at his chamber-door, his confusion increased to such a de¬ gree, that his perception seemed to vanish, and the subal¬ tern repeated the purport of his errand three times, before he could comprehend his meaning, or venture to receive the letter which he presented. At length he summoned all his fortitude, and having perused the epistle, his terror sunk into anxiety. His ingenious fear immediately sug¬ gested, that Peregrine was confined in a dungeon, for some outrage he had committed. He ran with great agitation to a trunk, and, taking out a bundle of papers, followed his conductor, being attended by the painter, to whom he had hinted his apprehension. When they passed through the guard, which was under arms, the hearts of both died with¬ in them; and when they came into the presence, there was such an expression of awful horror on the countenance of Jolter, that the prince, observing his dismay, was pleased io encourage him with an assurance that he had nothing to fear. Thus comforted, he recolleeted himself so well as to understand his pupil, when he desired him to produce the ambassador’s letters; some of which being open, were im¬ mediately read by his highness, who was personally acquaint¬ ed with the writer, and knew several of the noblemen to Whom they were addressed. These recommendations were VoL It z 354 TJIE ADVENTURES OP so warm, and represented the young gentleman in such an advantageous light, that the prince, convinced of the injus¬ tice his character had suffered by the misrepresentation of Hornbeck, took our hero by the hand, asked pardon for the doubts he had entertained of his honour, declared him from that moment at liberty, ordered his domestics to be enlarged, and offered him his countenance and protection as long as he should remain in the Austrian Netherlands. At the same time he catitioned him against indiscretion in the course of his gallantries; and took his word and honour, that he should drop all measures of resentment against the person of Hornbeck during his residence in that place. The delinquent, thus honourably acquitted, thanked the prince, in the most respectful manner, for his generosity and candour, and retired with his two friends, who were amaz¬ ed and bewildered in their thoughts at what they had seen and heard, the whole adventure still remaining without tire sphere of their comprehension, which was not at all enlar¬ ged by the unaccountable appearance of Pipes, who, with the valet de chambre, joined them at the castle gate. Had Jolter been a man of luxuriant imagination, his brain would un¬ doubtedly have suffered in the investigation of his pupil's mysterious conduct, which he strove in vain to unravel; but liis intellects were too solid to be affected by the miscarriage of his invention; and as Peregrine did not think proper to make him acquainted with the cause of his being appre¬ hended, he contented himself with supposing that there was a lady in the case. The painter, whose imagination was of a more flimsy texture, formed a thousand chimerical conjectures, w hich he communicated to Pickle, in imperfect insinuations, hoping, by his answers and behaviour, to discover the truth ; but the youth, in order to tantalize him, eluded all hjs inqui¬ ries, with such appearance of industry and art, as height¬ ened his curiosity, while it disappointed his aim, and in¬ flamed him to such a degree of impatience, that his wits be¬ gan to be unsettled. Then Peregrine was fain to recompose his brain, by telling hi and you yourself are a Goth, and a Turk, and a Tartar, and an im¬ pudent pretending jackanapes, to treat with such disrespect a production which, in the opinion of all the connoisseurs of the age, will, when finished, be a masterpiece in its kind, and do honour to human genius and skill. So X say again and again, (and I care not though your friend Playtor heard me), that you have no more taste than a drayman’s horse, and that those foolish notions of the ancients ought to be drubbed out of you with a good cudgel* that you might- PEREGRINE PICKLE. 357 learn to treat men of parts with more veneration. Perhaps you may not always be in the company of one who will hal¬ loo for assistance when you are on the brink of being chas¬ tised for your insolence, as I did, when you brought upon yourself the resentment of that Scot, who, by the Lard ! would have paid you both scot and lot, as FalstafF says, if the French officer had not put him in arrest.’ The physician, to this declamation, which was conveyed through the key hole, answered, that he (the painter) was a fellow so infinitely below his consideration, that his con¬ science upbraided him with no action of his life, expect that of chusing such a wretch for his companion and fellow-travel¬ ler ; that he had viewed his character through the medium of good-nature and compassion, which had prompted him to give Pallet an opportunity of acquiring some new ideas un¬ der his immediate instruction ; but he had abused his good¬ ness and condescension in such a flagrant manner, that he was now determined to discard him entirely from his ac¬ quaintance ; and desired him, for the present, to take him¬ self away, on pain of being kicked for his presumption. Pallet was too much incensed to be intimidated by this threat, which he retorted with great virulence, defying him to come forth, that it might appear which of them was best skilled in that pedestrian exercise, which he immediately be¬ gan to practise against the door, with such thundering ap¬ plication, as reached the ears of Pickle and his governor, who, coming out into the passage, and seeing him thus em ployed, asked if he had forgot the chamber-pots of A lost, that he ventured to behave in such a manner, as entitled him to a second prescription of the same nature. The doctor, understanding that there w r as company at hand, opened the door in a twinkling ; and, springing upon his antagonist like a tiger, a fierce contention would have ensued, to the infinite satisfaction of our hero, had not Jul- ter, to the manifest peril of his own person, interposed, and, partly by force, and partly by exhortations, put a stop to the engagement before it was fairly begun. After having de¬ monstrated the indecency of such a vulgar rencounter betwixt 358 THE ADVENTURES OP two fellow-citizens, in a foreign land, lie begged to know the cause of their dissension, and offered his good offices to¬ wards an accommodation. Peregrine also, seeing the fray was finished, expressed himself to the same purpose ; and the painter, for obvious reasons, declining an explanation, his antagonist told the youth what a mortifying interruption he had suffered by the impertinent intrusion of Pallet, and gave him a detail of the particulars of his vision, as above recited. The arbiter owned the provocation was not to be endured; and decreed, that the offender should make some atonement for his transgression. Upon which the painter observed, that, however he might have been disposed to make acknowledgments, if the physician had signified his displeasure like a gentleman, the complainant had now for« feited all claim to any such concessions, by the vulgar man¬ ner in which he had reviled him and his productions ; observ¬ ing, that, if he (the painter) had been inclined to retort his slanderous insinuations, the republican’s own works would have afforded ample subject for his ridicule and censure. After divers disputes and representations, peace was at length concluded, on condition, that, for the future, the doctor should never mention Cleopatra, unless he could say something in her praise ; and that Pallet, in consideration of his having been the first aggressor, should make a sketch of the physician's vision, to be engraved and prefixed to the next edition of his odes. CHAPTER LXII. Tkz travellers depart for Antwerp , at which place the painter gives a loose to his enthusiasm. \ Our adventurer, baffled in all his efforts to retrieve his lost Amanda, yielded at length to the remonstrances of his go¬ vernor and fellow-travellers, who, out of pure complaisance to him, had exceeded their intended stay by six days at least; and a couple of post-chaises, with three riding horses, being hired, they departed from Brussels in the morning, dined at peregrine pickle. "Mechlin, and arrived about eight in the evening at the ve¬ nerable city of Antwerp. During this day’s journey, Pallet was elevated to an uncommon flow of spirits, with the pro¬ spect of seeing the birth-place of Rubens, for whom he pro¬ fessed an enthusiastic admiration. He swore, that the plea¬ sure he felt was equal to that of a Mussulman, on the last day of his pilgrimage to Mecca; and that he already con¬ sidered himself a native of Antwerp, being so intimately ac¬ quainted with their so justly boasted citizen, from whom, at certain j unctures, he could not help believing himself derived, because his own pencil adopted the manner of that great man with surprising facility, and his face wanted nothing but a pair of whiskers and a beard to exhibit the express image of the Fleming's countenance. He told them, he was so proud of this resemblance, that, in order to render it more striking, he had, at one time of his life, resolved to keep his face sacred from the razor; and in that purpose had persevered, notwithstanding the continual reprehensions of Mrs Pallet, who, being then with child, said, his aspect was so hideous, that she dreaded a miscarriage every hour, until she threatened, in plain terms, to dispute the sanity of his intellects, and apply to the chancellor for a committee. The doctor, on this occasion, observed, that a man who is not proof against the solicitations of a woman, can never expect to make a great figure in life ; that painters and poets ought to cultivate no wives but the Muses: or, if they are, by the accidents of fortune, encumbered with families, they should carefully guard against that pernicious weakness, falsely honoured with the appellation of natural affection , and pay no manner of regard to the impertinent customs of the world. 4 Granting that you had been, for a short time, deemed a lunatic,’ said he, 4 you might have acquitted your¬ self honourably of that imputation, by some performance that would have raised your chaiacter above all censure. Sophocles himself, that celebrated tragic poet, who, for the sweetness -of his versification, was styled melitta, or the bee s in his old age suffered the same accusation from his own children, who, seeing him neglect his family affairs, and de* THE ADVENTURES OP 360 vote himself entirely to poetry, carried him before the ma¬ gistrate, as a man whose intellects were so much impaired by the infirmities of age, that he was no longer fit to manage his domestic concerns; upon which the reverend bard pro¬ duced his tragedy of Oedipus epi kolono 9 as a work he had just finished; which being perused, instead of being de¬ clared unsound of understanding, he was dismissed with ad¬ miration and applause. I wish your beard and whiskers had been sanctioned by the like authority; though I am afraid you would have been in the predicament of those disciples of a certain philosopher, who drank decoctions of cummin- seeds, that their faces might adopt the paleness of their mas¬ ter s complexion, hoping that, in being as wan, they would be as learned as their teacher.’ The painter, stung with this sarcasm, replied, e Or like those virtuosi, who, by repeating Greek, eating sillykickaby, and pretending to see visions, think they equal the ancients in taste and genius.’ The phy¬ sician retorted, Pallet rejoined, and the altercation continued until they entered the gates of Antwerp, when the admirer of Rubens broke forth into a rapturous exclamation, which put an end to the dispute, and attracted the notice of the inha¬ bitants, many of whom, by shrugging up their shoulders, and pointing to their foreheads, gave shrewd indications that they believed him a poor gentleman disordered in his brain. They had no sooner alighted at the inn, than this pseudo¬ enthusiast proposed to visit the great church, in which he had been informed some of his master’s pieces were to be seen ; and was remarkably chagrined, when he understood that he could not be admitted till next day. He rose next morning by day-break, and disturbed his fellow-travellers ip such a noisy and clamorous manner, that Peregrine deter¬ mined to punish him with some new infliction; and while he put on his clothes, actually formed the plan of promoting a duel between him and the doctor, in the management of which he promised himself store of entertainment, from the behaviour of both. Being provided with one of these domestics who are al¬ ways in waiting to offer their services to strangers on their PEREGRINE PICKLE. S61 •first arrival, they were conducted to the house of a gentle¬ man who had an excellent collection of pictures; and, though the greatest part of them were painted by his fa¬ vourite artist, Pallet condemned them all by the lump, be^ cause Pickle had told him beforehand, that there was not one performance of Rubens among the number. The next place they visited, was what they called the aca^ demy of painting, furnished with a number of paltry pieces, in which our painter recognized the style of Peter Paul* with many expressions of admiration, on the same sort of previous intelligence. From this repository they went to the great church ; and being led to the tomb of Rubens, the whimsical painter fell upon his knees, and worshipped with such appearance of devotion, that the attendant, scandalized at his superstition, pulled him up, observing, with great warmth, that the per¬ son buried in that place was no saint, but as great a sinner as himself; and that, if he was spiritually disposed, there was a chapel of the blessed Virgin, at the distance of three yards, on the right hand, to which he might retire. He thought it was incumbent upon him to manifest some extra¬ ordinary inspiration, while he resided on the spot where Ru¬ bens was born; and therefore his whole behaviour was an affectation of rapture, expressed in distracted exclamations, convulsive starts, and uncouth gesticulations. In the midst of his frantic behaviour, he saw an old capuchin, with a white beard, mount the pulpit, and hold forth to the con¬ gregation with such violence of emphasis and gesture as .captivated his fancy ; and, bawling aloud, £ Zounds ! what an excellent Paul preaching at Athens!’ he pulled a pencil and a small memorandum-book from his pocket, and began .to take a sketch of the orator, with great eagerness and agita¬ tion, saying, £ Egad ! friend Raphael, we shall see whether you or I have got the best knack at trumping up an apostle/ This appearance of disrespect gave offence to the audience* who began to murmer against this heretic libertine; when qpe of the priests belonging to the choir, in order to prevent any ill consequences from their displeasure, came and told 362 THE ADVENTURES OF him in the French language, that such liberties were not permitted in their religion, and advised him to lay aside his implements, lest the people should take umbrage at his de¬ sign, and be provoked to punish him as a profane scoffer at their worship. The painter, seeing himself addressed by a friar, who, while he spoke, bowed with great complaisance, imagined that he was a begging brother come to supplicate his cha¬ rity ; and his attention being quite engrossed by the design he was making, he patted the priest’s shaven crown with his hand, saying, oter terns , oter terns , and then resumed his pencil with great earnestness. The ecclesiastic, perceiving that the stranger did not comprehend his meaning, pulled him by the sleeve, and explained himself in the Latin tongue ; upon which Pallet, provoked at his intrusion, cursed him aloud for an impudent beggarly son of a w——, and,.taking out a shilling, flung it upon the pavement, with manifest signs of indignation. Some of the common people, enraged to see their religion contemned, and their priests insulted at the very altar, rose from their seats, and surrounding the astonished painter, one of the number snatched his book from his hand, and tore it in a thousand pieces. FTightened as he was, he could not help crying, 6 Fire and faggots ! all my favourite ideas are gone to wreck'!’ and was in danger of being very roughly handled by the crowd, had not Peregrine stepped in, and assured them, that he was a poor unhappy gentleman, who laboured under a transport of the brain. Those who understood the French language communicated this information to the rest, so that he escaped without any other chastisement than be¬ ing obliged to retire. And as they could not see the famous descent from the cross till after the service was finished, they were conducted by their domestic to the house of a painter, where they found a beggar standing for his picture, and the artist actually employed in representing a huge louse that crawled upon his shoulder. Pallet was wonderfully pleased with this circumstance, which he said was altogether a new tit ©light, and an excellent hint, of which he would make PEREGRINE PICKLE. 363 Jiis advantage; and, in the course of his survey of this Fleming’s performance, perceiving a piece in which two flies were engaged upon the carcass of a dog half devoured, he ran to his brother brush, and swore he was worthy of being a fellow-citizen of the immortal Rubens. He then lamented, with many expressions of grief and resentment, that he had lost his common-place book, in which he had preserved a thousand conceptions of the same sort, formed by the acci¬ dental objects of his senses and imagination ; and took an opportunity of telling his fellow r -traveiiers, that in execution he had equalled, if not excelled, the two ancient painters who vied with each other in representation of a curtain and a bunch of grapes; for he had exhibited the image of a cer¬ tain object so like to nature, that the bare sight of it set a whole hog-sty in an uproar. When he had examined and applauded all the produc¬ tions of this minute artist, they returned to the great church, and w r ere entertained with the view of that celebrated master¬ piece of Rubens, in which he has introduced the portraits of himself and his whole family. The doors that conceal this capital performance were no sooner unfolded, than our enthusiast, debarred the use of speech, by a previous cove¬ nant with his friend Pickle, lifted up his hands and eyes, and putting himself in the attitude of Hamlet, when his father’s ghost appears, adored in silent ecstasy and awe. He even made a merit of necessity ; and, when they had withdrawui from the place, protested that his whole faculties were swal¬ lowed up in love and admiration. He now professed himself more than ever enamoured of the Flemish school, raved in extravagant encomiums, and proposed that the whole com¬ pany should pay homage to the memory of the divine Ru¬ bens, by repairing forthwith to the house in which he lived, and prostrating themselves on the floor of his painting room. As there was nothing remarkable in the tenement, which had been rebuilt more than once since the death of that great man, Peregrine excused himself from complying with the proposal, on pretence of being fatigued with the circuit they had already performed. Jolter declined it for the same rea- 364 THE ADVENTURES OP son ; and the question being put to the doctor, he refused his company with an air of disdain. Pallet, piqued at his con* temptuous manner, asked if he would not go and seethe ha¬ bitation of Pindoor, provided he was in the city where that poet lived ? and when the physician observed, that there was an infinite difference between the men—« That I’ll al¬ low, , replied the painter 4 for the devil a poet ever lived in Greece or Troy, that was worthy to clean the pencils of our beloved Rubens.’ The physician could not, with any degree of temper and forbearance, hear this outrageous blasphemy, for which, he said, Pallet’s eyes ought to be picked out by owls: and the dispute arose, as usual, to such scurrilities of language, and indecency of behaviour, that passengers be¬ gan to take notice of their animosity, and Peregrine was obliged to interpose for his own credit. CHAPTER LXHL Peregrine artfully foments a quarrel between Pallet and the physician, who fight a duel on the ramparts. The painter betook himself to the house of the Flemish Ra¬ phael, and the rest of the company went back to their lod¬ gings ; where the young gentleman, taking the advantage of being alone with the physician, recapitulated all the affronts he had sustained from the painter’s petulance, aggravating every circumstance of the disgrace, and advising him, in the capacity of a f riend, to take care of his honour, which could not fail to sutler in the opinion of the world, if he allowed himself to be insulted with impunity by one so much his in¬ ferior in every degree of consideration. The physicain assured him, that Pallet had hitherto esca¬ ped chastisement, by being deemed an object unworthy his resentment, and in consideration of the wretch's family, for which his compassion was interested ; but that repeated injuries would inflame the most benevolent disposition ; and although he could find no precedent of duelling among the Greeks and Romans, whom he considered as the patterns of PEREGRINE PICKLE. 365 demeanour, Pallet should no longer avail himself of his ve- neration for the ancients, but be punished for the very next offence he should commit. Having thus spirited up the doctor to a resolution from which he could not decently swerve, our adventurer acted the incendiary with the other party also ; giving him to un¬ derstand, that the physician treated his character with such contempt, and behaved to him with such insolence, as no gentleman ought to bear: that, for his own part, he was every day put out of countenance by their mutual animosity, which appeared in nothing but vulgar expressions, more be¬ coming shoe-boys and oyster-women than men of honour and education ; and therefore he should be obliged, contrary to his inclination, to break off all correspondence with them both, if they would not fall upon some method to retrieve the dignity of their characters. These reprsentations would have had little effect upon the timidity of the painter, who was likewise too much of a Grecian to approve of single combat, in any other way than that of boxing, an exercise in which he was well skilled, had they not been accompanied with an insinuation, that his an¬ tagonist was no Hector, and that he might humble him in¬ to any concession, without running the least personal risk. Animated by this assurance, our second Rubens set the trumpet of defiance to his mouth, swore he valued not his life a rush, when his honour was concerned, and entreated Mr Pickle to be the bearer of a challenge, which he would instantly commit to writing. The mischievous fomenter highly applauded this manifes¬ tation of courage, by which he was at liberty to cultivate his friendship and society, but declined the office of carrying the billet, that his tenderness of Pallet’s reputation might not be misinterperted into an officious desire of promoting quarrels. At the same time he recommended Tom Pipes, not only as a very proper messenger on this occasion, but also as a trusty second in the field. The magnanimous painter took his advice, and, retiring to his chamber, penned a challenge in these term#.— 366 THE ADVENTURES OP e Sir, when I am heartily provoked, I fear not the devil himself } much less-1 will not call you a pedantic coxcomb, nor an unman¬ nerly fellow, because these are the hippythets of the wulgar: but, re¬ member, such as you are, I riyther love you nor fear you ; but, on the contrary, expect satisfaction for your audacious behaviour to me on divers occasions; and will, this evening, in the twilight, meet you on the ramparts with sword and pistol, where the Lord have mercy on the soul of one of us, for your body shall find no favour with your incensed defier, till death, 4 layman pallet.’ This resolute defiance, after having been submitted to the perusal, and honoured with the approbation, of our youth, was committed to the charge of Pipes, who, according to his orders, delivered it in the afternoon ; and brought for an¬ swer, that the physician would attend him at the appointed time and place. 1 he challenger was evidently discomposed at the unexpected news of this acceptance, and ran about the house in great disorder, in quest of Peregrine, to beg his further advice and assistance ; but understanding that the youth was engaged in private with his adversary, he began to suspect some collusion, and cursed himself for his folly and precipitation. He even entertained some thoughts of retract¬ ing his invitation, and submitting to the triumph of his anta¬ gonist : but before he would stoop to this opprobrious con¬ descension, he resolved to try another expedient,which might be the means of saving both his character and person. In this hope he visited Mr Jolter, and very gravely desired he would be so good as to undertake the office of his second in a duel which he w r as to fight that evening with the physician* I lie governor, instead of answering his expectation, in ex¬ pressing fear and concern, and breaking forth into exclama¬ tions of, 4 Good God ! gentlemen ! what d’ye mean ? You shall not murder one another while it is in my power to pre¬ vent your purpose. I will go directly to the governor of the place, who shall interpose his authority.’ I say, instead of these and other friendly menaces of prevention, Jolter heard the proposal with the most phlegmatic tranquillity, and ex¬ cused himself from accepting the honour he intended for him, on accour d of his character and situation, which would not PEREGRINE PICKLE. 367 permit him to be concerned in any such rencounters. In¬ deed this mortifying reception was owing to a previous hint from Peregrine, who, dreading some sort of interruption from his governor, had made him acquainted with his design, and assured him, that the affair should not be brought to any dangerous issue. 'I hus disappointed, the dejected challenger was overwhelm¬ ed with perplexity and dismay ; and, in the terrors of death or mutilation, resolved to deprecate the wrath of his enemy, and conform to any submission he should propose, when he was accidentally encountered by our adventurer, who, with demonstrations of infinite satisfaction, told him, in confi¬ dence, that his billet had thrown the doctor into an agony of consternation ; that his acceptance of his challenge was a mere effort of despair, calculated to confound the ferocity of the sender, and dispose him to listen to terms of accommo¬ dation ; that he had imparted the letter to him, with fear and trembling, on pretence of engaging him as a second, but, in reality, with a view of obtaining his good offices in promoting a reconciliation; 6 but perceiving the situation of his mind,’ added our hero, 4 I thought it would be more for your honour to baffle his expectation, and therefore I readily undertook the task of attending him to the field, in full assurance that he will there humble himself before you, even to prostration. In this security you may go and pre¬ pare your arms, and bespeak the assistance of Pipes, who will squire you to the field, while I keep myself up, that our correspondence may not be suspected by the physician.’ Pal¬ let’s spirits, that w'ere sunk to dejection, rose at this encou¬ ragement to all the insolence of triumph ; he again declared his contempt of danger; and his pistols being loaded and ac¬ commodated with new flints, by his trusty armour-bearer, he waited, without flinching, for the hour of battle. On the first approach of twilight, somebody knocked at his door, and Pipes having opened it at his desire, he heard the voice of his antagonist pronounce,— k Tell Mr Pallet, that I am going to the place of appointment.’ The painter was not a little surprised at this anticipation, which so ill agreed 368 THE ADVENTRES OF with the information he had received from Pickle; arid hisr concern beginning to recur, he fortified himself with a large bumper of brandy, which, however, did not overcome the anxiety of his thoughts. Nevertheless, he set out on the ex¬ pedition with his second, betwixt whom and himself the fol¬ lowing dialogue passed, in their way to the ramparts.—* Mr Pipes, 1 said the painter, with disordered accent, * methinks the doctor was in a pestilent hurry with that message of his. 5 Ey, ey, 1 answered Tom, * I do suppose he longs to be foul of you.’ 6 What!’ replied the other, 6 d'ye think he thirsts after my blood ?’ * To be sure a does, 1 (said Pipes) thrusting a large quid of tobacco into his cheek with great deliberation). * If that be the case, 1 cried Pallet, beginning to shake, 4 he is no better than a cannibal, and no Christian ought to fight him on equal footing. 1 Tom observing his emotion, eyed him with a frown of indignation, saying, 4 You an’t afraid, are you ?’ 4 God forbid f replied the challenger*- stammering with fear, 4 What should I be afraid of? the worst he can do is to take my life, and then he’ll be answerable both to God and man for the murder : Don’t you think he will ?’ 4 I think no such matter, 1 answered the second: 4 If so be as how he puts a brace of bullets through your bows, and kills you fairly, it is no more murder than if I was to bring down a noddy from the main-top-sail-yard. 1 By this time Pallet’s teeth chattered with such violence, that he could scarce pronounce this reply.— 4 Mr Thomas,you seemtomake very light of a man’s life; but I trust in the Almighty 1 shall not be so easily brought down. Sure many a man has fought a duel without losing his life. Do you imagine that I run such a hazard of falling by the hand of my adversary? 1 4 You may or you may not, 1 said the unconcerned Pipes, 4 just as it happens. What then ! death is a debt that every man owes, according to the song; and if you set foot to foot, I think one of you must go to pot.’ 4 Foot to foot!’ exclaim¬ ed the terrified painter, 4 that’s downright butchery; and I’ll be damn’d before I fight any man on earth in such a barbarous way. What! d’ye take me to be a savage beast ?’ This declaration he made wdiile they ascended the ramparts. PEREGRINE PICKLE. 369 His attendant, perceiving the physician and his second at the distance ot an hundred paces before them, gave him notice of their appearance, and advised him to make ready, and behave iike a man. Pallet m vain endeavoured to con¬ ceal his panic, which discovered itself in an universal trepi¬ dation ot body, and the lamentable tone in which he answer¬ ed this exhortation of Pipes, saying,-— c I do behave like a man ; but you would have me act the part of a brute.—Are they coming this way ?’ When Tom told him that they had faced about, and admonished him to advance, the nerves of his arm refused their office, he could not hold out his pistol, and instead of going forward, retreated with an insensibility of motion ; till Pipes, placing himself in the rear, set his own back to that of his principal, and swore he should not budge an inch farther in that direction. While the valet thus tutored the painter, his master enjoy¬ ed the terrors of the physician, which were more ridiculous than those of Pallet, because he was more intent upon dis¬ guising them. His declaration to Pickle in the morning would not sutler him to start any objections when he received the challenge ; and finding that the young gentleman made no offer of mediating the affair, but rather congratulated him on the occasion, when he communicated the painter’s billet^ all his efforts consisted in oblique hints, and general reflec¬ tions, upon the absurdity of duelling, which was first intro¬ duced among civilized nations by the barbarous Huns and Loogobards. He likewise pretended to ridicule the use of fire-arms, which confounded all the distinctions of skill and address, and deprived a combatant of the opportunity of signalizing his personal prowess. Pickle assented to the justness of his observations ; but, at the same time, represented the necessity of complying with the customs of this world (ridiculous as they were), on which a man’s honour and reputation depend. So that, seeing no hopes of profiting by that artifice, the republican’s agitation became more and more remarkable ; and he proposed, in plain terms, that they should contend in armour, like the combat¬ ants of ancient days; for it was but reasonable, that they Vol. II. 370 THE ADVENTURES C>F should practise the manner of fighting, since they adopted the disposition of those iron times. Nothing could have afforded more diversion to our hero than tiie sight of two such duellists cased in iron; and lie wished that he had promoted the quarrel in Brussels, where he could have hired the armour of Charles the V. and the valiantDuke of Parma, for their accommodation ; but as there was no possibility of furnishing them cap-a-pee at Antwerp, he persuaded him to conform to the modern use of the sword? and meet the painter on his own terms; and suspecting that his fear would supply him with other excuses for declining the combat, he comforted him with some distant insinuations, to the prejudice of his adversary’s courage, which would, in ull probability, evaporate before any mischief could happen. Notwithstanding this encouragement, he could not sup¬ press the reluctance witli which he went to the field, and cast many a wishful look over his left shoulder, to see whether or not his adversary was at his heels. When, by the advice of his second, he took possession of the ground, and turned about with his face to the enemy, it was not so dark, but that Peregrine could perceive the unusual paleness of his coun¬ tenance, and the sweat standing in large drops upon his fore¬ head ; nay, there w r as a manifest disorder in his speech, when he regretted his want of the pi/a and panna, with which he would have made a rattling noise, to astonish his foe, in -springing forward, and singing the hymn to battle, in the manner of the ancients. In the mean time,observing the hesitation of bis antagonist, who, far from advancing, seemed to recoil, and even struggle with his second, he guessed the situation of the painter’s thoughts, and collecting all the manhood that lie possessed, seized the opportunity of profiting by his enemy’s consterna¬ tion. Striking his sword and pistol together, he advanced in a sort of trot, raising a loud howl, in which he repeated, in lieu of the Spartan song, part of the strophe from one of Pindars Pythia, beginning with ek the on gar makanai pasai Broteais aretais, &c. This imitation of the Greeks had all the desired effect upon the painter, who seeing the physician run- PEREGRINE PICKLE. 371 siing towards him like a fury, witli a pistol in his right hand, which was extended, and hearing the dreadful yell he utter¬ ed, and the outlandish words he produced, was. seized with an universal palsy of his limbs. He would have dropped •down upon the ground, had not-Pipes supported and encou¬ raged him to stand upon his defence. The doctor, contrary to his expectation, finding that he had not flinched from the spot, though he had now performed one half of his ca¬ reer, put in practice the last effort, by firing his pistol, the noise of which no sooner reached the ears of the affrighted painter, than he recommended his soul to God, and;roared lor mercy with great vociferation. The republican, overjoyed at this exclamation, command¬ ed him to yield, and surrender his arms, on pain of immediate death. ; upon which he threw away his pistols and sword, in spite of all the admonitions and even threats of his second, who left h im to his fate, and went up to his master, stop . ping his nose with signs of loathing and abhorrence. The victor, having won the spolia opima , granted him his life, on condition that he would on his knees supplicate his pardon, acknowledging himself inferior to his conqueror in every virtue and qualification, and promise for the future to merit his favour by submission and respect. These insolent terms were readily embraced by the unfortunate challenger, who fairly owned, that he was not at all calculated for the purposes of war, and that henceforth he would contend with no weapon but his pencil. He begged, with great humility, that Mr Pickle would not think the worse of his morals for this defect of courage, which was a natural infirmity in-< herited from his father, and suspend his opinion of his ta¬ lents, until he should have an opportunity of contemplating the charms of his Cleopatra, which would be finished in less than three months. Our hero observed, with an affected air of displeasure, that no man could be justly condemned for being subject to the impressions of fear ; and therefore his cowardice might easily he forgiven: but there was something so presumptuous, dis- Jionest, and disingenuous, in arrogating a quality to which a a 2 372 THE ADVENTURES OP lie knew he had not the smallest pretension, that he could not forget his misbehaviour all at once, though he would conde¬ scend to communicate with him as formerly, in hopes of see¬ ing a reformation in his conduct. Pallet protested that there was no dissimulation in the case; for he was ignorant of his own weakness, until his resolution was put to the trial: he faithfully promised to demean himself, during the remaining part of the tour, with that conscious modesty and penitence which became a person in his condition ; and, for the present, implored the assistance of Mr Pipes, in disembarrassing him from the disagreeable consequence of his fear. CHAPTER LXIV. The doctor exults in his victory—they set out for Rotterdayn , where they are entertained by two Dutch gentlemen in a yacht , which is overturned in the Maese , to the manifest ha¬ zard of the painter s life—they spend the evening with their entertainers 9 and next day visit a cabinet of curiosities. Tom was accordingly ordered to minister to his occasions ; and the conqueror, elated with his success, which he in a great measure attributed to his manner of attack, and the hymn which he howled, told Peregrine, that he was now convinced of the truth of what Pindar sung in these words,— Ossa de me pephileke Zeus atuzontai Bonn Pieridon aionta ; for he had no sooner begun to repeat the mellifluent strains of that divine poet, than the wretch, his antagonist, was confounded, and his nerves unstrung. On their return to the inn, he expatiated on the prudence and tranquillity of his own behaviour, and ascribed the con¬ sternation of Pallet to the remembrance of some crime that lay heavy upon his conscience; for, in his opinion, a man of virtue and common sense could not possibly be afraid of death, which is not only the peaceful harbour that receives him shattered on the tempestuous sea of life, but also the eternal seal of his fame and glory, which it is no longer in bis power to forfeit and forego. He lamented his fate, in be- PEREGRINE PICKLE. 373 ing doomed to live in such degenerate days, when war is be¬ come a mercenary trade; and ardently wished that the dav would come, when he should have such an opportunity of signalizing his courage in the cause of liberty, as that of Marathon, where an handful of Athenians, fighting for their freedom, defeated the whole strength of the Persian empire. 6 Would to heaven,’ said he, 6 my muse were blessed with an occasion to emulate that glorious testimony on the trophy in Cyprus, erected by Cimon, for two great victories gained on the same day over the Persians by sea and land; in which it is very remarkable, that the greatness of the occasion has raised the manner of expression above the usual simplicity and modesty of ail other ancient inscriptions.’ He then re¬ peated it with all the pomp of declamation, and signified his hope that the French would one day invade us with such an army as that which Xerxes led into Grece, that it might becin his power to devote himself, like Leonidas, to the free¬ dom of his country. This memorable combat being thus determined, and every thing that was remarkable in Antwerp surveyed, they sent their baggage down the Scheldt to Rotterdam, and set out for the same place in a post waggon, which that same even¬ ing brought them in safety to the banks of the Maese. They put up at an English house of entertainment, remarkable for the modesty and moderation of the landlord; and next morning the doctor went in person to deliver letters of re¬ commendation to two Dutch gentlemen from one of his ac¬ quaintance at Paris. Neither of them happened to be at home when he called; so that he left a message at their lodgings, with his address; and in the afternoon they waited upon the company, and, after many hospitable professions, one of the two invited them to spend the evening at his house. Meanwhile, they had provided a pleasure yacht, in which they proposed to treat them with an excursion upon the Maese. This being almost the only diversion that place af¬ fords, our young gentleman relished the proposal; and, not¬ withstanding the remonstrances of Mr Jolter, who declined the voyage on account of the roughness of the weather, they THE ADVENTURES OF went on board without hesitation, and found a collation pre¬ pared in the cabin. While they tacked to and fro in the' river* under the impulse of a mackarel breeze, the physician expressed his satisfaction, and Pallet was ravished with the entertainment. But the wind increasing, to the unspeak¬ able joy of the Dutchmen, who had now an opportunity of shewing their dexterity in the management of the vessel, the guests found it inconvenient to stand upon deck, and im¬ possible to sit below, on account of the clouds of tobacco smoke which rolled from the pipes of their entertainers, in such volumes, as annoyed them even to the hazard of suffo¬ cation. This fumigation, together with the extraordinary motion of the ship, began to affect'the head and stomach of the painter, who begged earnestly to be set on shore: but the Dutch gentlemen, who had no idea of his* sufferings, in¬ sisted, with surprising obstinacy of regard, upon his staying until he should see an instance of the skill of their mariners ; and, bringing him on deck, commanded the men to carry the vessel’s leegun-wale under water. This nicety of navi¬ gation' they instantly performed, to the admiration of Pickle, the discomposure of the doctor, and terror of Pallet, who blessed himself from the courtesy of a Dutchman, and pray¬ ed to heaven for his deliverance. While the Hollanders enjoyed the reputation of this feat, and the distress of the painter'at the same time, the yacht was overtaken by a sudden squall, that overset her in a moment, and flung every man overboard into the Maese, before they could have the least warning of their fate, much less time to provide against the accident. Peregrine, who was an expert swimmer, reached the shore in safety; the physician, in the agonies of despair, laid fast hold on the trunk-breeches of one of the men, who dragged him to the other side ; the enter¬ tainers landed at the bomb-keys, smoking their pipes all the way with great deliberation ; and the poor painter must have gone to the bottom, had not he been encountered by the cable of a ship that lay at anchor near the scene of their disaster. Though his senses had foresaken him, his hands* fastened by instinct on this providential occurrence, which PEREGRINE PICKLE. m he held with such a convulsive grasp, that, when a boat was sent out to bring him on shore, it was with the utmost diffi¬ culty that his fingers were disengaged. He .was carried in- to a house, deprived of the use of speech, and bereft of all sensation ; and, being suspended by the heels, a vast quanti¬ ty of water ran out of his mouth. This evacuation being made, he began to utter dreadful groans, which gradually increased to a continued roar ; and, after he had regained the use of his senses, he underwent a delirium that lasted several hours. As for the treaters, they never dreamed o£ expressing the least concern to Pickle or the physician for what had happened, because it was an accident so common as to pass without notice. Leaving the care of the vessel to the seamen, the company retired to their respective lodgings, in order to shift their clothes ; and in the evening our travellers were conducted to the house of their new friend, who, with a view of making his invitation the more agreeable, had assembled to the num¬ ber of twenty or thirty Englishmen, of all ranks and de¬ grees, from the merchant to the periwig-maker's ’prentice. In the midst of this congregation stood a chafing dish with live coals, for the convenience of lighting their pipes, and every individual was accommodated with a spitting-box. There was not a mouth in the apartment unfurnished with a tube, so that they resembled a congregation of chimeras breathing fire and smoke ; and our gentlemen were fain to imitate their example in their own defence. It is not to be supposed that the conversation was either very sprightly or polite : the whole entertainment was of the Dutch cast, frowsy and phlegmatic ; and our adventurer, as he returned to his lodging, tortured with the headach, and disgusted with every circumstance of his treatment, cursed the hour in which the doctor had saddled them with such trouble¬ some com pan ion Si Next morning, by eight o’clock, these polite Hollanders returned the visit, and, after breakfast attended their En¬ glish friends to the house of a person that possessed a very curious cabinet of curiosities, to which they had secured our 376 THE ADVENTURES OP company’s admission. The owner of this collection was a cheesemonger, who received them in a woollen night-cap, with straps buttoned under his chin. As he understood no language but his own, he told them, by the canal of one of their conductors, that he did not make a practice of shewing his curiosities; but understanding that they were English¬ men, and recommended to his friends, was content to submit them to their perusal. So saying, he led them up a dark stair, into a small room, decorated with a few paltry figures in plaster of Paris, two or three miserable landscapes, the skins of an otter, seal, and some fishes stuffed ; and in one corner stood a glass-case, furnished with newts, frogs, lizards, and serpents, preserved in spirits; a human foetus, a calf with two heads, and about two dozen of butterflies pinned upon paper. The virtuoso having exhibited these particulars, eyed the strangers with a look soliciting admiration and applause ; and as he could not perceive any symptom of either in their gestures or countenances, withdrew a curtain, and displayed a wainscot chest of drawers, in which, he gave them to un¬ derstand, was something that would agreeably amuse the imagination. Our travellers, regaled with this notice, im¬ agined that they would be entertained with the sight of some curious medals, or other productions of antiquity ; but how were they disappointed, when they saw nothing but a varie¬ ty of shells, disposed in whimsical figures, in each drawer l After he had detained them full two hours with a tedious commentary upon the shape, size, and colour, of each depart¬ ment, he, with a supercilious simper, desired that the Eng¬ lish gentlemen would frankly and candidly declare, whether his cabinet or that of Mynheer Sloane at London, was the most valuable. When this request was signified in English to the company, the painter instantly exclaimed, 4 By the Lard ! they are not to be named of a day : and as for that matter, I would not give one corner of Saltero’s coffeehouse at Chelsea for all the trash he hath shewn.’ Peregrine, un¬ willing to mortify any person who had done his endeavour to please him, observed, that what he had seen was very cu* PEREGRINE PICKLE. 377 nous and entertaining; but that no private collection in Eu¬ rope was equal to that of Sir Hans Sloane, which, exclusive of presents, had cost an hundred thousand pounds. The two conductors were confounded at this asseveration, which being communicated to the cheesemonger, he shook his head with a significant grin ; and, though he did not chuse to express his incredulity in words, gave our hero to under¬ stand, that he did not much depend upon his veracity. From the house of this Dutch naturalist, they were dragged all round the city by the painful civility of their at¬ tendants, who did not quit them till the evening was well advanced, and then not till after they had promised to be with them before ten o’clock next day, in order to conduct them to a country house, situated in a pleasant village on the other side of the river. Pickle was already so much fatigued with their hospitali¬ ty, that, for the first time of his life, he suffered a dejection of spirits ; and resolved, at any rate, to avoid the threatened persecution of to-morrow. With this view, he ordered his servants to pack up some clothes and linen in a portmanteau ; and in the morning embarked, with his governor, in the treckskuyt, for the Hague, whether he pretended to be cal¬ led by some urgent occasion, leaving his fellow-travellers to make his apology to their friends; and assuring them that lie would not proceed for Amsterdam without their society. Pie arrived at the Hague in the forenoon, and dined at an ordinary frequented by officers and people of fashion; where being informed that the princess would see company in the evening, he dressed himself in a rich suit of the Pa¬ risian cut, and went to court, without any introduction. A person of his appearance could not fail to attract the notice of such a small circle. The prince himself, understanding he was an Englishman and a stranger, went up to him with¬ out ceremony, and, having welcomed him to the place, con¬ versed with him for some minutes on the common topics of discourse.. THE ADVENTURES OP CHAPTER LXV. They proceed to the Hague, from whence they depart for Am~ sterdam, where they see a Dutch tragedy—visit the music - house, in which Peregrine quarrels with the captain of a man of war—they pass through Haerletn, in their way to Leyden —return to Rotterdam, where the company separates, and our hero, with his attendants, ccrrice in safety at Harwich, Being joined by their fellow-travellers in the morning, they made a tour to all the remarkable places in this celebrated village ; saw the foundery, the st'adthouse, the spinhuys, Vauxhall, and Count Bcntinck’s gardens, and in the evening went to the French comedy, which was directed by a noted Harlequin, who had found means to flatter the Dutch taste so effectually, that they extolled him as the greatest actor that ever appeared in the province of Holland. This famous company did not represent regular theatrical pieces, but only a sort of impromptus, in which this noted player always performed the greatest part of the entertainment. Among other sallies of wit that escaped him, there was one circum¬ stance so remarkably adapted to the disposition and genius of his audience, that it were pity to pass it over in silence. A windmill being exhibited on the scene, Harlequin, after having surveyed it with curiosity aud admiration, asks one of the millers the use of that machine; and being told that it was a windmill, observed, with some concern,|that as there was not the least breath of wind, he could not have the plea¬ sure of seeing it turn round. Urged by this consideration, lie puts himself into the attitude of a person wrapt in pro¬ found meditation ; and having continued a few seconds In tliis posture, runs to the miller with great eagerness and joy, and telling him that he had found an expedient to make his mill work, very fairly unbuttons his breeches ; then present¬ ing liis posteriors to the sails of the machine, certain ex¬ plosions are immediately heard, and the arms of the mill begin to turn round, to the infinite satisfaction of the spec¬ tators, who approve the joke with loud peals of applause. Qur travellers staid a few r days at the Hague, during: PEiiifdi?r\’E Pickle. 37$ wliicli the young gentleman waited on the British ambassa¬ dor, to whomiic was recommended by his excellency at Paris and lost about thirty guineas at billiards to a French adven¬ turer, who decoyed him into the snare by keeping up his game. Then they departed in a*post-waggon for Amsterdam, being provided with letters of introduction to an Eimlisb merchant residing in that city, under whose auspices they visited every thing worth seeing, and, among other excur¬ sions, went to see sr Dutch tragedy acted ; an entertainment' winch, of all others-, had the strangest effect upon the organs of our hero : the dress of their chief personages was so antic, their manner so awkwardly absurd, and their lanpaiao-e so ridiculously unfit lor conveying the sentiments of love and honour, that Peregrine’s nerves were diuretically affected with the complicated absurdity, and be was compelled to' withdraw twenty times before the catastrophe of the piece. The subject of this performance was the famous story of Scipio’s continence and virtue, in restoring the fair captive to her lover. The young Roman hero was represented by a broad-faced Batavian, in a burgomaster’s gown and a fur cap, sitting smoking his pipe at a table famished with a cann of beer, a drinking glass, and a plate of tobacco: the lady was such a person as Scipio might very well be supposed to give away, without any great effort of generosity ; and indeed the Celtiberian prince seemed to be of that opinion; for, upon receiving her from the hand of the victor, he dis¬ covered none of those transports of gratitude and joy which Livy describes in recounting this event. The Dutch Scipio ? however, was complaisant enough in his way ; for he desired her to sit at his right hand, by the appellation of ya frow r and, with his own fingers, filling a clean pipe, presented it to Mynheer Allucio, the lover. The rest of the economy of the piece was in the same taste; which v r as so agreeable to the audience, that they seemed to have shaken off their na¬ tural phlegm, in order to applaud the performance. From the play our company adjourned to the house of their friend, where they spent the evening; and the conver¬ sation turning upon poetry, a Dutchman who was present^ 3S0 THE ADVENTURES OF and understood the English language, having listened very attentively to the discourse, lifted up with both hands the greatest part of a Cheshire cheese that lay upon the table, saying,— 4 I do know vat is boeter. Mine brotre be a great boet, and ave vrought a book as dick as all datd Pickle, diverted with this method of estimating an author according 1 • ° O to the quantity of his works, inquired about the subjects of this bard’s writings; but of these his brother could give no account, or other information, but that there was little market for the commodity, which hung heavy upon his hands, and induced him to wish lie had applied himself to another trade. The only remarkable scene in Amsterdam which our com¬ pany had not seen, was the Spuyl, or music-houses, which, by the connivance of the magistrates, are maintained for the recreation of those who might attempt the chastity of cre¬ ditable women, if they were not provided with such conve¬ niences. To one of these night-houses did our travellers repair, under the conduct of the English merchant, and were introduced into such another place as the ever-memorable coffeehouse of Moll King ; with this difference, that the company here were not so riotous as the bucks of Covent Garden, but formed themselves into a circle, within which some of the number danced to the music of a scurvy organ and a few other instruments, that uttered tunes very suitable to the disposition of the hearers, while the whole apartment was shrouded with clouds of smoke impervious to the view. When our gentlemen entered, the floor was occupied by two females and their gallants, who, in the performance of their exercise, lifted their legs like so many oxen at plough ; and the pipe of one of those hoppers happening to be ex¬ hausted in the midst of his saraband, he very deliberately drew forth his tobacco-box, filling and lighting it again, without any interruption to the dance. Peregrine, being unchecked by the presence of his governor, who was too tender of his own reputation to attend them in this expedi¬ tion, made up to a sprightly French girl, who sat in seeming expectation of a customer, and, prevailing upon her to be his partner, led her into the circle, and, in his turn, took the op- PEREGRINE PICKLE# 381 portunity of dancing a minuet, to the admiration of all pre¬ sent. He intended to have exhibited another specimen of his ability in this art, when a captain of a Dutch man of war chancing to come in, and seeing a stranger engaged with the lady whom, it seems, he had bespoke for his bedfellow, he advanced without any ceremony, and seizing her by the arm, pulled her to the other side of the room. Our adven¬ turer, who was not a man to put up with such a brutal af¬ front, followed the ravisher with indignation in his eyes, and, pushing himion one side, retook the subject of their contests and led her back to the place from whence she had been dragged. The Dutchman, enraged at the youth’s presump¬ tion, obeyed the first dictates of his choler, and lent his rival a hearty box on the ear ; which was immediately repaid with interest, before our hero could recollect himself sufficiently to lay his hand upon his sword, and beckon the aggressor to the door. Notwithstanding the confusion and disorder which this affair produced in the room, and the endeavours of Pickle’s company, who interposed in order to prevent bloodshed, the antagonists reached the street; and Peregrine, drawing, was surprised to see the captain advance against him with a long knife, which he preferred to the sword that hung by his side. The youth, confounded at this preposterous behaviour, de¬ sired him, in the French tongue, to lay aside that vulgar implement, and approach like a gentleman : but the Hol¬ lander, who neither understood the proposal, nor would have complied with his demand, had he been made acquainted with his meaning, rushed forward like a desperado, before Ids adversary could put himself on his guard; and if the young gentleman had not been endued with surprising agi lity, his nose would have fallen a sacrifice to the fury of the assailant. Finding himself in such imminent jeopardy, he leaped to one side, and the Dutchman passing him, in the force of his career, he, with one nimble kick, made such application to his enemy’s heels, that lie flew like lightning into the canal, where he had almost perished, by pitching upon one of the posts with which it is faced. TRE ADVENTURES OE Peregrine having performed this exploit, did not stay for •■the captain’s coming on shore, but retreated with al! dispatch, by the advice -of his conductor; and next day embarked, with his companions, in the skuyt, for Haerlem, where they dined, and, in the evening, arrived at the ancient city of Leyden, where they met with some English students, who treated them with great hospitality : not but that the har¬ mony of the conversation was that same night interrupted, by a dispute that arose between one of those youno- gentle- men and the physician, about the cold and hot methods of prescription in the gout and rheumatism ; and proceeded to such a degree of mutual reviling, that Pickle, ashamed and incensed at his fellow-traveller’s want of urbanity, espoused the other’s cause, and openly rebuked him for bis unman¬ nerly petulance, which (he said) rendered him unfit for the purposes, and unworthy of the benefit, of society. This unexpected declaration overwhelmed the doctor with amaze¬ ment and confusion; he was instantaneously deprived of his speech, and, during the remaining part of the night, sat in silent mortification. In all probability, he deliberated with himself, .whether or not he should expostulate with the young gentleman on the freedom he had taken with his character in a company of strangers ; but as be knew he bad not a Ihillet to deal with, be very prudently suppressed that sug¬ gestion, and in secret chewed the cud of resentment. After they bad visited the physic garden, the university, the anatomical hall, and every other thing that was recom¬ mended to their view, they returned to Rotterdam, and held a consultation upon the method of transporting themselves to England. The doctor, whose grudge against Peregrine was rather inflamed than allayed by our hero’s indifference and neglect, bad tampered with the simplicity of the painter, who was proud of 1 1 is advances, towards a perfect reconcilia¬ tion ; and now took the opportunity of parting with our ad¬ venturer, by declaring that lie and his friend Mr Pallet were resolved to take their passage in a trading sloop, after he had heard Peregrine object against that tedious, disagreeable, and uncertain method of conveyance. Pickle immediately saw PEREGRINE PICKLE. 363 ]us intention ; and, without using the least argument to dis¬ suade them from their design, or expressing the smallest de¬ gree o{ concern at their separation, very coolly wished them a prosperous voyage, and ordered his baggage to he sent to Helvoetsluys. There he himself and his retinue went on board of the packet next day, and, by the favour of a fair ; wind, m eighteen hours arrived at Harwich. CHATTER LXIII. j Peregrine delivers his Idlers of recommendation at London , and returns to the garrison, to the unspeakable joy of the commo¬ dore and his whole family. 2^ow that our hero found himself on English ground, his ‘heart dilated with the proud recollection of his own improv¬ ident since he left his native soil. He began to recognize the interesting ideas of his tender years ; he enjoyed, by anti 'dpation, the pleasure of seeing his friends in the garrison, after an absence of eighteen months ; and the image of his charming Emily, which other less worthy considerations had depressed, resumed the full possession of his breast. He re¬ membered, with shame, that he had neglected the corres¬ pondence with her brother, which he himself had solicited, and in consequence of which he had received a letter from that young gentleman, while he lived at Paris. In spite of these conscientious reflections, iie was too self-sufficient to think he should find any difficulty in obtainining forgiveness for such sins of omission ; and began to imagine, that his passion would be grejudicial to the dignity of his situation ir it could not be gratified upon terms which formerly his imagination durst not conceive. Sorry I am, that the task I have undertaken, lays me un¬ der the necessity of divulging this degeneracy in the senti¬ ments of our imperious youth, who was now in the heyday of his blood, flushed with the consciousness of his own qua¬ lifications, vain of his fortune, and elated on the wings of imaginary expectation. Though he was deeply enamoured 384 THE ADVENTURES OP of Miss Gauntlet, he was far from proposing her heart as the ultimate aim of his gallantry, which (he did not doubt) would triumph over the most illustrious females of the land, and at once regale his appetite and ambition. Meanwhile, being willing to make his appearance at the garrison equally surprising and agreeable, he cautioned Mr Jolter against writing to the commodore, who had not heard of* them since their departure from Paris, and hired a post- chaise and horses for London. The governor, going out to give orders about the carriage, inadvertently left a paper book open upon the table ; and his pupil, casting his eye up¬ on the page, chanced to read these words.- 6 Sept. 15. Arrived in safety, by the blessing of God, in this unhappy kingdom of England. And thus concludes the journal of my last peregrination." Peregrine’s curiosity being inflamed by this extraordinary conclusion, he turned to the beginning, and perused several sheets of a diary, such as is commonly kept by that class of people known by the denomination of travelling governors, for the satisfaction of themselves and the parents or guardians of their pupils, and for the edifica¬ tion and entertainment of their friends. That the reader may have a clear idea of Mr Joker’s per¬ formance, we shall transcribe the transactions of one day, as he had recorded them ; and that abstract will be a suffi¬ cient specimen of the whole plan and execution of the work 4 May 3. At eight o’clock set out from Boulogne in a post- chaise—the morning hazy and cold. Fortified my stomach with a cordial. Recommended ditto to Mr P. as an antidote against the fog. Mem. He refused it. The hither horse greased in the off-pastern of the hind leg. Arrive at Samers. Mem. This last was a post and a half, i. e. three leagues, or nine English miles. The day clears up. A fine cham¬ paign country, well stored with corn. The postilion says his prayers in passing by a%ooden crucifix upon the road. Mem. The horses staled in a small brook that runs in a bot¬ tom betwixt two hills. Arrive at Cormont. A common post. A dispute with my pupil, who is obstinate, and swayed by an unlucky prejudice. Proceed to Montreuil, where we dine peregrine pickle. 385 on choice pigeons. A very moderate charge. No chamber¬ pot in the room, owing to the negligence of the maid. This is an ordinary post. Set out again for Nampont. Trou¬ bled witfi flatulencies and indigestion. Mr P is sullen, and seems to mistake an eructation for the breaking of wind backwards. From Nampont depart for Bernay, at which place we arrive in the evening, and propose to stay ail night. N. B.—The two last are double posts, and our cattle very willing, though not strong. Sup on a delicate ragout and excellent partridges, in company with Mr H. and his spouse; Mem.—The said H. trod upon my corn by mistake. Dis¬ charge the bill, which is not very reasonable. Dispute with Mr P. about giving money to the servant; he insists upon my giving a twenty-four sols piece, which is too much by two thirds, in all conscience. N. B.—She was a pert bag¬ gage, and did not deserve a hard.’ Our hero was so much disobliged with certain circumstan¬ ces of this amusing and instructing journal, that, by way of punishing the author, he interlined these words betwixt two paragraphs, in a manner that exaetlv resembled the tutor's hand-writing.— 6 Mem. Had the pleasure of drinking my¬ self into a sweet intoxication, by toasting our lawful king, and his royal family, among some worthy English fathers of the society of Jesus.’ Having taken this revenge, he set out for London, where he waited upon those noblemen to whom he had letters of recommendation from Paris: and was not only graciously received, but even loaded with caresses and proffers of ser¬ vice, oecause they understood he was a young gentleman of fortune, who, far from standing in need of their countenance or assistance, would make an useful and creditable addition to the number of their adherents. He had the honour of dining at their tables, in consequence of pressing invitations, and of spending several evenings with the ladies, to whom he was particularly agreeable, on account of his person, ad¬ dress, and bleeding freely at play. Being thus initiated in the beau monde, he thought it was high time to pay his respects to his generous benefactor, the VoL II. b $86 THE ADVENTURES Of* commodore; and accordingly departed, one morning, with his train, for the garrison, at which he arrived in safety the same night. When he entered the gate, which was opened by a new servant that did not know him, he found his old friend Hatchway stalking in the yard, with a night-cap oil his head, and a pipe in his mouth ; and, advancing to him, took him by the hand, before he had any intimation of his approach. The lieutenant, thus saluted by a stranger, stared at him in silent astonishment, till he recollected his features, which were no sooner known, than, dashing the pipe upon the pavement, he exclaimed,— 6 Smite my cross-trees l th’art welcome to portand hugged him in his arms with great affection. He then, by a cordial squeeze, expressed bis satisfaction at seeing his old shipmate Tom, who apply¬ ing his whistle to his mouth, the whole castle echoed with his performance. The servants, hearing the well-known sound, poured out ill a tumult of joy; and, understanding that their young master was returned, raised such a peal of acclamation, as astonished the commodore and his lady, and inspired Julia with such an interesting presage, that her heart began to throb with violence. Running out in the hurry and per¬ turbation ol her hope, she was so much overwhelmed at sight of her brother, that she actually fainted in his arms. But from this France she soon awaked ; and Peregrine, having testified his pleasure and affeqtion, went up stairs, and pre¬ sented himself before his godfather and aunt. Mrs Trun¬ nion rose and received him with a gracious .embrace, bless¬ ing God for his happy return from a land of impiety and vice, in which she hoped his morals had not been corrupted nor bis principles of religion altered or impaired. The old gentleman being confined to his chair, was struck dumb with pleasure at his appearance : and, having made divers inef¬ fectual efforts to get up, at length discharged a volley of curses against liis own limbs, and held out his hand to his godson, who kissed it with great respect. After he had finished his apostrophe to the gout, which was the daily and hourly subject of his execrations,—* Well, my PEREGRINE PICKLE# 38 ? lad, said he, * I care not how soon I go to the bottom, now I behold thee safe in harbour again; and yet I tell a damn’d lie ; I would 1 could keep afloat until I should see a lusty boy of thy begetting. Odds my timbers"! I love thee so well, that I believe thou art the spawn of my own body ; though I can give-no account of thy being put upon the stocks.’ Then turning his eye upon Pipes, who by this time had penetrated into Ins apartment, and addressed him with the usual salutation of 4 what cheer ?’ 4 Ahey,’ cried he, 4 are you there you herring-faced son of a sea-calf? what a slip- peiy trick you played your old commander ! but come, you dog! theres my fist; I forgive you, for the love you bear to my godson. Go, man your tackle, and hoist a cask of strong beei into the yark, knock ©ut the -bung, and put a pump in it, for the use of all my servants and neighbours; and, dye hear, let thepatereroes be fired, and the garrison illuminated, as rejoicings for the safe arrival of your mas¬ ter. By the Lord ! if I had the use of these damn’d shamb¬ ling shanks, I would dance a hornpipe with tlie best of you.' The next object of his attention was Mr Jolter, who was honoured with particular marks of distinction, and the re¬ peated promise of enjoying the living in his gift, as an ac¬ knowledgment of the care and discretion with which he had superintended the education and morals of our hero. The governor was so affected by the generosity of his patron, that the tears ran down his cheeks, while he expressed his gratitude, and the infinite satisfaction he felt, in contem¬ plating the accomplishments of his pupil. Meanwhile Pipes did not neglect the orders he had receiv¬ ed; the beer was produced, the gates were thrown open for the admission of all comers, the whole house was lighted up, and the patereroes were discharged in repeated volleys# Such phenomena could not fail to attract the notice of the neigh¬ bourhood. The club at Tunley’s were astonished at the re¬ port of the guns, which produced various conjectures among the members of that sagacious society. The landlord obser¬ ved, that, in all likelihood, the commodore \yas visited by hobgoblins, and ordered the guns to be fired in token of dis« x b 2 388 THE ADVENTURES OF tress, as he had acted twenty years before, when he was an¬ noyed by the same grievance. The exciseman, with a wag¬ gish sneer, expressed his apprehension of Trunnion’s death, in consequence of which the patereroes might be discharged with an equivocal intent, either as signals of his lady’s sor¬ row or rejoicing. The attorney signified a suspicion of Hatch¬ way’s being married to Miss Pickle, and that the firing and illuminations were in honour of the nuptials ; upon which Gamaliel discovered some faint signs of emotion, and, taking the pipe from his mouth, gave it as his opinion, that his sister was brought to bed. While they were thus bewildered in the maze of their own imaginations, a company of countrymen, who sat drinking in the kitchen, and whose legs were more ready than their invention, sallied out to know the meaning of these exhibi¬ tions. Understanding that there was a butt of strong beer a-broach in the yard, to which they were invited by the ser¬ vants, they saved themselves the trouble and expense of re¬ turning to spend the evening at the public house, and listed themselves under the banner of Tom Pipes, who presided as director of this festival. The news of Peregrine’s return being communicated to the parish, the parson, and three or four neighbouring gentle¬ men, who were wellwishers to our hero, immediately repair¬ ed to the garrison, in order to pay their compliments on this happy event, and were detained to supper. An elegant en¬ tertainment was prepared by the direction of Miss Julia, who was an excellent housewife; and the commodore was so invigorated with joy, that he seemed to have renewed his age. Among those who honoured the occasion with his presence was Mr Clover, the young gentleman that made his addresses to Peregrine’s sister. Plis heart was so big with his passion, that, while the rest of the company were engrossed by their cups, he seized an opportunity of our hero’s being detached from the conversation, and, in the impatience of his love } conjured him to consent to his happiness; protesting, that he would comply with any terms of settlement that a man of his fortune could embrace, in favour of a young lady, who was absolute mistress of his affection. PEREGRINE PICKLE. 389 Our youth thanked him very politely for his favourable sentiments and honourable intention towards his sister, and told him, that at present he saw no reason to obstruct his desire; that he would consult Julia’s own inclination, and confer with him about the means of gratifying his wish ; but, in the mean time, begged to be excused from discussing any point of such importance to them both. Reminding him of the jovial purpose on which they were happily met, he promoted such a quick circulation of the bottle, that their mirth grew noisy and obstreperous; they broke forth into repeated peals of laughter, without any previous incitement, except that of claret. These explosions were succeeded by Bacchanalian songs, in which the old gentleman himself at-, tempted to bear a share; the sedate governor snapped time with his fingers, and the parish priest assisted in the chorus, with a most expressive nakedness of countenance. Before midnight, they were almost all pinned to their chairs, as if they had been fixed by tne power of enchantment; and, what rendered the confinement still more unfortunate, every ser¬ vant in the house was in the same situation; so that they were fain to take their repose as they sat, and nodded at each other like a congregation of anabaptists. Next day Peregrine communed with his sister on the sub-, ject of her match with Mr Clover, who (she told him) had offered to setle a jointure of four hundred pounds, and take her to wife, without any expectation of a dowry. She more¬ over gave him to understand, that, in his absence, she had received several messages from her mother, commanding her to return to her father’s house; but that she had refused to obey these orders, by the advice and injunction of her aunt and the commodore, which were indeed seconded by her own inclination; because she had all the reason in the world to believe, that her mother only wanted an opportunity of treating her with severity and rancour. The resentment of that lady had been carried to such indecent lengths, that, seeing her daughter at church one day, she rose up before the parson entered, and reviled her with great bitterness in the face of the whole congregation. 390 TUX adventures or CHAPTER LXVII. Sees his sister happily married—visits Emily , who receives him according to his deserts. Her brother being of opinion, that Mr Cover’s proposal was not to be neglected, especially as Julia’s heart was en¬ gaged in his favour, communicated the affair to his uncle, who^ with the approbation of Mrs Trunnion, declared him¬ self well satisfied with the young man’s addresses, and de¬ sired that they might be buckled with all expedition, with¬ out the knowledge or concurrence of her parents, to whom (on account of their unnatural barbarity) she was not bound to pay the least regard. Though our adventurer entertain¬ ed the same sentiments of the matter, and the lover dread¬ ing some obstruction, earnestly begged the immediate con¬ descension of his mistress, she could not be prevailed upon to take such a material step, without having first solicited the permission of her father, resolving, nevertheless, to com¬ ply with the dictates of her own heart, should Ms objections be frivolous or unjust. Urged by this determination, her admirer waited upon Mr Gamaliel at the public-house, and, with the appearance of great deference and respect, made him acquainted with his affection for his daughter, communicated the particulars of his fortune, with the terms of settlement he was ready to make ; and, in conclusion, told him, that he would marry her without a portion. This last offer seemed to have some ‘ weight with the father, who received it with civility, and promised in a day or two to favour him with a final answer to his demand. He, accordingly, that same evening con¬ sulted his wife, who being exasperated at the prospect of her daughter’s independency, argued with the most virulent ex¬ postulation against the match, as an impudent scheme of her own planning, with a view of insulting her parents, toward^ whom she had already been guilty of the most vi¬ cious disobedience. In short, she used such remonstrances, as not only averted this weak husband’s inclination from the PEREGRINE PICKLE. 3£1 proposal, which he had relished before, but even instigated him to apply for a warrant to apprehend his daughter, on the supposition that she was about to bestow herself in mar* riage without his privity or consent. The justice of peace, to whom this application was made* though he could not refuse the order, yet, being no stranger to the malevolence of the mother, which, together with Gamaliel's simplicity, was notorious in the county, he sent an intimation of what had happened to the garrison ; upon Which a couple of sentinels were placed on the gate, and, a! the pressing solicitation of the lover, as well as the desire of the commodore, her brother, and aunt, Julia was wedded without further delay; the ceremony being performed by Mr Jo! ter, because the parish priest prudently declined any occasion of giving offence, and the curate was too much in the interest of their enemies to be employed in that office. This domestic concern being settled to the satisfaction of our hero, he escorted her next day to the house of her hus« band, who immediately wrote a letter to her father, decla¬ ring his reasons for having thus superseded his authority ; and Mrs Pickle's mortification was unspeakable. * That the new married couple might be guarded against *11 insult, our young gentleman and bis friend Hatchway with their adherents, lodged in Mr Clover’s house for some weeks; during which they visited their acquaintance in the neighbourhood, according to custom. When the tranquil¬ lity of their family was perfectly established, and the con® tract of marriage executed in the presence of the old com¬ modore and his lady, who gave her niece five hundred pounds to purchase jewels and clothes, Mr Peregrine could no longer restrain his impatience to see his dear Emilia; and told hi® uncle, that next day he proposed to ride across the country^ in order to visit his friend Gauntlet, whom he had not neard of for a long time. The old gentleman, looking stedfastly in his face,—* Ah l damn your cunning f said he, * I find the anchor holds fast! I did suppose as how you would have slipt your cable and changed your birth ; but I see, when a young fellow 392 THE ADVENTURES OF is once brought up by a pretty wench, he may man his cap¬ stans and viol block if he wool; but he’ll as soon heave up the Peak of TenerifFe, as bring his anchor a-weigh ! Odds keartlikins! had I known the young woman was Ned Gauntlet’s daughter, I shouldn’t have thrown out a signal for leaving off chase.’ Our adventurer was not a little surprised to hear the com¬ modore talk in this style ; and immediately conjectured that his friend Godfrey had informed him of the whole affair. Instead of listening to this approbation of his flame, with those transports of joy which he would have felt, had he re¬ tained his former sentiments, he was chagrined at Trunnion’s declaration, and offended at the presumption of the young soldier, in presuming to disclose the secret with which he had intrusted him. Reddening with these reflections, he as¬ sured the commodore, that he never had serious thoughts of matrimony; so that, if any person had told him he was under any engagement of that kind, he had abused his ear; for he protested that he would never contract such attach¬ ments without his knowledge and express permission. Trunnion commended him for his prudent resolution, and observed, that, though no person mentioned to him what promises had passed betwixt him and his sweetheart, it was very plain that he had made love to her; and, therefore, it was to be supposed that his intentions were honourable; lor he could not believe he was such a rogue in his heart, as to endeavour to debauch the daughter of a brave officer, who had served his country with credit and reputation. Not¬ withstanding this remonstrance, which Pickle imputed to the commodore’s ignorance of the world, he §et out for the habitation of Mrs Gauntlet, with the unjustifiable sentiments of a man of pleasure, who sacrifices every consideration to the desire of his ruling appetite; and, as Winchester lay in his way, resolved to visit some of his friends who lived in that place. It was in the house of one of these that he was informed of Emilia’s being then in town with her mother; upon which he excused himself from staying to drink tea, and immediately repaired to their lodgings, acv cording to the directions he had received. PEREGRINE PICKLE. 393 When he arrived at the door, instead of undergoing that perturbation of spirits, which a lover in his interesting situa¬ tion might be supposed to feel, he suffered no emotion but that of vanity and pride, favoured with an opportunity of self-gratification, and entered his Emilia’s apartment with the air of a conceited petit-maitre, rather than that of the respectful admirer, when he visits the object of his passion, after an absence of seventeen months. The young lady, having been very much disobliged at his mortifying neglect of her brother’s letter, had summoned all her own pride and resolution to her aid; and, by means of a happy disposition, so far overcame her chagrin at his indifference, that she was able to behave in his presence with apparent tranquillity and ease. She was even pleased to find he had, by accident, chosen a time for his visit when she was surrounded by two or three young gentlemen, who pro¬ fessed themselves her admirers. Our gallant was no sooner announced, than she collected all her coquetry, put on the gayest air she could assume, and contrived to giggle just as he appeared at the room door. The compliments of salu¬ tation being performed, she welcomed him to England in a careless manner, asked the news of Paris, and, before he could make any reply, desired one of the other gentlemen to proceed with the sequel of that comical adventure, in the relation of which he had been interrupted. Peregrine smiled within himself at this behaviour, which, (without all doubt) he believed she had affected to punish him for his unkind silence while he was abroad, being fully persuaded that her heart was absolutely at his devotion. On this supposition, he practised his Parisian improvements in the art of conversation, and uttered a thousand prettinesses in the way of compliment, with such incredible rotation of tongue, that his rivals were struck dumb with astonish¬ ment, and Emilia fretted out of all temper, at seeing herself deprived of the prerogative of the sex. He persisted, how¬ ever, in this surprising loquacity, until the rest of the com¬ pany thought proper to withdraw, and then contracted his discourse into the focus of love, which now put on a very 394 THE ADVENTURES Of different appearance from that which it had formerly wdrn. Instead of awful veneration, which her presence used td inspire, that chastity of sentiment, and delicacy of expres¬ sion, he now gazed upon her with the eyes of a libertine; he glowed with the impatience of desire, talked in a strain that barely kept within the bounds of decency, and attempt¬ ed tc snatch such favours, as she, in the tenderness of mu¬ tual acknowledgment, had once vouchsafed to bestow.- Grieved and offended as she was, at this palpable altera¬ tion in his carriage, she disdained to remind him of his former deportment, and, with dissembled good humour, rallied him on the progress he had made in gallantry and address ; but, far from submitting to the liberties he would have taken, she kept her person sacred from his touch, and would not even suffer him to ravish a kiss of her fair hand; so that he reaped no other advantage from the exercise of his talents, during this interview, which lasted a whole hour, than that of knowing he had overrated his own importance^ and that Emily’s heart was not a garrison likely to surrender at discretion. At length his addresses were interrupted by the arrival of the mother, who had gone abroad to visit by herself; and the conversation becoming more general, he understood that Godfrey was at London, soliciting for a lieutenancy that had fallen vacant in the regiment to which he belonged ; and that Miss Sophy was at home with her father. Though our adventurer had not met with all the success he expected by his first visit, he did not despair of redu¬ cing the fortress, believing that in time there would be a mutiny in his favour ; andy accordingly, carried on 1 the siege for several days, without profiting by his perseverance; till, at length, having attended the ladies to their own house in the country, he began to look upon this adventure as time mis-spent, and resolved to discontinue his attack, in hopes of meeting with a more favourable occasion ; being, in the mean time, ambitious of displaying, in an higher sphere those qualifications which his vanity told him were at pre¬ sent misapplied. PEREGRINE PICKLE. 395 CHAPTER LXVIII. tie attends his uncle with great affection during a Jit of illness —sets out again for London—meets with his friend Godfrey, who is prevailed upon to accompany him to Bath; on the road to which place they chance to dine with a person who entertains them with a curious account of a certain company of adventurers. Thus determined, he took leave of Emilia and her mo¬ ther, on pretence of going to London, upon some urgent bu¬ siness, and returned to the garrison, leaving the good old lady very much concerned, and the daughter incensed at his behaviour, which was the more unexpected, because God¬ frey had told them, that the commodore approved of his nephew’s passion. Our adventurer found his uncle so ill of the gout, which, for the first time, had taken possession of his stomach, that his life was in imminent danger, and the whole family in disorder; he, therefore, took the reins of government in his own hands, sent for all the physicians in the neighbourhood, and attended him in person with the most affectionate care during the whole fit, which lasted a fortnight, and then re¬ tired before the strength of his constitution. When the old gentleman recovered his health, he w r as so penetrated with Peregrine’s behaviour, that he actually would have made over to him his whole fortune, and depended upon him for his own snbsistence, had not our youth op¬ posed the execution of the deed with all his influence and might, and even persuaded him to make a will, in which liis friend Hatchway, and all his other adherents, were libe¬ rally remembered, and his aunt provided for on her own terms. This material point being settled, he, with his uncle’s permission, departed for London, after having seen the family affairs established under the direction and admi¬ nistration of Mr Jolter and the lieutenent; for, by this time, Mrs Trunnion was wholly occupied with her spiritual con¬ cerns* On his first arrival at London, he sent a card to the lodg¬ ings of Gauntlet, in consequence of a direction from his 396 THE ADVENTURES OF mother; and that young gentleman waited on him next morning, though not with that alacrity of countenance and warmth of friendship which might have been expected from the intimacy of their former connection. Nor was Pere¬ grine himself actuated by the same unreserved affection for the soldier which he had formerly entertained. Godfrey, over and above the offence he had taken at Pickle’s omis¬ sion in point of corresponding with him, had been informed by a letter from his mother, of the youth’s cavalier behaviour to Emilia, during his last residence at Winchester ; and our young gentleman (as we have already observed) was dis¬ gusted at the supposed discovery which the soldier had made in his absence to the commodore. They perceived their mutual umbrage at meeting, and received each other with that civility of reserve which commonly happens between two persons when their friendship is in the wane. Gauntlet at once divined the cause of the other’s displea¬ sure; and, in order to vindicate his own character, after the first compliments were passed, took the opportunity, on inquiring after the health of the commodore, to tell Pere¬ grine, that, while he tarried at the garrison, on his return from Dover, the subject of the conversation one night hap¬ pening to turn on our hero’s passion, the old gentleman had expressed his concern about that affair ; and, among other observations, said, he supposed the object of his love was some paltry hussy, whom he had picked up when he was a boy at school. Upon which Mr Hatchway assured him, that she was a young woman ol as good a family as any in th i:.' > . * . * . . ' t . A ' I ‘ * . N. $j/