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UNIVERSITY!

NORTH CAROLINA

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UNIVERSITY OF N C AT CHAPEL MILL

00022094378

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This Book may be kept out TWO WEEKS
ONLY, and is subject to a fine of FIVE
CENTS a day thereafter. It was taken out on
t = the day indicated below:

1 Apri9 40

" Iun25'40
— 7Feb'46LS

- 9Jul'4rM I
5Jui'47LS

MAR29 , 9:C'

JUL JO 'j,

LUNC lOM-Ap 39

Digitized by the Internet Archive

in 2012 with funding from

University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

http://www.archive.org/details/goopshowtobethemburg

G O O P S

AND HOW TO BE THEM

GO'OPS

AND HOW TO BE THEM

A Manual of Manners for Polite Infants

Inculcating many Juvenile Virtues

Both by Precept and Example

With Ninety Drawings

By GELETT BURGESS

N ew York

Frederick A. Stokes Company

Pu blishers

TWENTY-SECOND PRINTING. APRIL 1, 1932

Printed in the United States of America

Llbl, I, | v (

Introduction .... P*g' I

Table Manners — I. ... 3

Table Manners — II. . . 5

Cleanliness 7

Neatness 9

Courtesy U

Generosity 13

Consideration 15

Miss Manners 17

Borrowing 19

Memory 21

Books 23

Honesty Page 25

"Why?" 27

Bed-Time 29

Modesty 31

Disfiguration . . . . 33

Bravery 35

Tidiness 37

Patience 39

Fortitude 4 1

George Adolphus ... 43

Politeness 45

Gentleness 47

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Hospitality
Pets . . .
Remember!
Curiosity
Willy . .
Clothes .
Helpfulness
Quietness .
Order
Teasing .

Page 49

5 1

53
55

59
6i

63
65
67

Interruption . Page 69

7 1

Caution ......

Tardiness .

Obedience .....

Church Headaches

■ 79

Doll-Time

Combing and Curling .

Cheerfulness .

Of these Rhymes, ten first appeared in
"St. Nicholas," and are here reprinted
by permission of the Century Company

INTRODUCTION

Let me introduce a Race
Void of Beauty and of Grace,
Extraordinary Creatures
With a Paucity of Features.
Though their Forms are fashioned ill,
They have Manners stranger still;
For in Rudeness they're Precocious,
They 're Atrocious, they 're Ferocious
Yet you'll learn, if you are Bright,
Politeness from the Impolite.
When you 've finished with the Book,
At your Conduct take a Look;
Ask yourself, upon the Spot,
Are you Goop, or are you Not f
For, although it's Fun to See them
It is Terrible to Be them!

The Goops they lick their fingers,
And the Goops they lick their
knives;
They spill their broth on the table-
cloth —
Oh, they lead disgusting lives!
The Goops they talk while eating,

And loud and fast they chew;

And that is why I 'm glad that I

Am not a Goop — are you?

TABLE MANNERS. -IL

The Goops are gluttonous and rude,
They gug and gumble with their food;
They throw their crumbs upon the floor,
And at dessert they tease for more;
They will not eat their soup and bread
But like to gobble sweets, instead,
And this is why I oft decline,
When I am asked to stay and dine !

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CLEANLINESS

The Goops they are spotted on chin and on cheek,
You could dig the dirt off with a trowel !

But you wash your face twenty times every week,
And you don't do it all with the towel!

The Goops are all dirty, and what do they do?

They like to be dirty, and stay so.
But \{ you were dirty, you'd wash, wouldn't you?

If you needed a bath, you would say so !

NEATNESS

Goops leave traces every-
where —

Gum stuck underneath the
chair,

Muddy footprints in the
hall,

Show that Goops have been
to call ;

Shoes and stockings on "the
floor

Show where Goops have
been before !

COURT EST

I wonder why it is polite

In shaking hands, to give your right.

1 wonder why it is refined

In passing one, to go behind.

I wonder why it is well-bred,

If you must sneeze, to turn your head.

Perhaps the reason is because

The Goops, they never have such laws I

GENEROSITT

When you have candy, do you go
And give your sister halt?

When little brother stubs his toe,
Do you look on and laugh?

The greediest Goop would give away
The things he didn't need —

To share the toys with which you play,
That 's generous, indeed !

CONSIDERATION

When you 're old, and get to be
Thirty-four or forty-three,
Don't you hope that you will see
Children all respect you?

Will they, without being told,
Wait on you, when you are old,
Or be heedless, selfish, cold?
I hope they '11 not neglect
you!

And the largest one of all
Or the nicest, big or small —
Well, I think you 'd better
leave her that one too!

BORROWING

Whose doll is that on the table?

Whose book is that on the chair?
The knife and the pencils and other
utensils,

Now how do they come to be there?

Did n't you say they were borrowed?

You'd better take back just a few!
If you lent your playthings, I think
you would say things

If no one returned them to you!

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MEMORT

My teacher taught me, yesterday,

A very pretty piece to say;

But when I try to think of it,

I can't remember it a bit!

My head 's so full of toys and such,

I can't remember very much!

My teacher told me yesterday
"Work when you work;

Play when you play /"
When 1 am playing with my toys
I am the busiest of boys;
But when I study or I work
I'm 'fraid I am inclined to shirk!

HONESTT

The boy who plays at marbles and does n't try to cheat,
Who always keeps his temper, no matter if he's beat,
Is sure to be a favorite with all upon the street.

The girl who counts her hundreds very fairly, when she's "it"

Who doesn't peep or listen, nor turn around a bit,

I'm sure she's not a Goop, in fact, she's quite the opposite!

Josephus never yet was h<
To say but just one singl<
When father said to go to
Then "Why?" was all Josephus said.
When mother bade him stop his play,
Then " Why?" Josephus used to say.
He always made the same reply.
'T was never anything but
"WHY?"

(]

BED -TIME

«"

The night is different from the day —
It's darker in the night;
How can you ever hope to play
When it's no longer light?

When bed-time comes, it's time for you
To stop, for when you 're yawning,
You should be dreaming what you'll do
When it's to-morrow morning.

MODESTT

The proper time for you to show
Whatever little tricks you know
Is when grown people ask you to;
Then you may show what you
can do !
ut sometimes mother's head
will ache
With all the jolly noise you make,
nd sometimes other people, too,
an't spend the time to play
with you !

DISFIGURATION

Have you ever seen the scrawls
On the fences and the walls,
All the horrid little pictures and the horrid
little names?
Don't you think it is a shame?
Are the Goops the ones to blame?
Did you ever catch them playing at their
horrid little gai

It 's terrible brave

To try to save
A girl on a runaway horse;
You could do that, of course!

But think of trying

To keep from crying,
When you 're hungry and tired

and cross —
You couldn't do that*
of course!

TIDINESS

Little scraps of paper,
Little crumbs of food,

Make a room untidy,
Everywhere they're
strewed.

Do you sharpen pencils,

Ever, on the floor?
What becomes of orange-
peels
And your apple-core?

Can you blameyour mother

If she looks severe.
When she says, "It looks

to me
As if the Goops were

here" ?

The clock will go slow
If you watch it, you know;
You must work right along
and forget it.
So study your best
Till it's time for a rest,

The clock will go fast, if you
let it!

FORTITUDE

When you have been a naughty child,
Or taken more than was your share,

When you 've been, sulky, cross or wild,
You must not say, "Oh, I don't
care !

But when vou hate to see it rain,

And when it's time to comb your hair,

And when you have a little pain,

Then you can say, "Oh, I don't care!"

GEORGE ADOLPHUS

Oh, think what George Adolphus did!
The children point and stare.
He went where mother had forbid,
And said he "didnt care!"

Oh, think

what George Adolphi
did!

He made his mother cry!

The child

ren whoop "You are
Goop !

Fie! G<

sorge Adolphus, fie!'
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POLITENESS

I think it would be lots of fun
To be polite to every one;
A boy would doff his little hat,
A girl would curtsey, just like that

And both would use such words as

these :
"Excuse me, Sir" and " If 'you please ;"(
Not only just at home, you know,
But everywhere that they should go.

HOSPITALITT

When a person visits you, remember he's your guest,
Receive him very kindly, and be sure he has the best;
Make him very comfortable and show him all your toys,
And only play the games you 're very sure that he enjoys.

When you pay a visit, never grumble or complain,
Try to be so affable they '11 want you there again ;
Don't forget the older ones, your hostess least of all,
When you 're leaving tell her you have had a pleasant call !

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Almost everv Goop forgets
When it 's time to feed his pets,
'Cause his memory fails;

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CURIOSITT

I think that it would help you much

II you 'd remember not to touch.
The Goops do this, and they do more,
Thev peep and listen at the door!
They open bottles of cologne,
And feel of parcels not their own!
But there are many stupid folks

J Who do not care for children's jokes.

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DO NOT

TOUCH

THIS

JVILLT

Willy broke the window-
pane

Willy spilled the ink,
Willy left the water-pipe

Running in the sink!

Did his mother punish him ?
No! I'll tell you why.
Willy, he owned up to it,
And didn't tell a lie!

Willy told his mother
Before she found it out

He said: "I am so sorry!"
iWtfsaid "I have no doubt!

CLOTHES

When you are playing in the dirt,
You should wear clothes you cannot hurt;
It will not matter, when they 're worn,
If thev are just a little torn.

But when you 're really nicely dressed,
Be careful of your Sunday Best!
You must not crawl upon your knees;
Be careful of your elbows, please!

HELPFULNESS

I never knew a Goop to help his mother,
I never knew a Goop to. help his dad,
And they never do a thing lor one

another;
They are actually, absolutely bad !

If you ask a Goop to go and post a letter,
Or to run upon an errand, how they act !
But somehow I imagine you are better,
And you try to go, and cry to go, in fact !

QUIETNESS

Hush! tor your father is reading.
Hush! for your mother is ill.

Hush ! for the baby

Is sleeping, and may be
He'll catch a nice dream if you 're still.
Kiss me, and promise you will!

E§S=—

Make your soldiers march away,
When you 're finished with your

P la 7-
Lead them to the barrack-box,

Make them carry all your blocks.

Teach your doll to go to bed,

Not to lie about instead;

Tell her she must clear away

Everything she's used to-day.

All your playthings and your toys

Must be trained like girls and boys!

Tease to linger longer when your mother bids you go;
Tease to have a penny when your father answers, " No ! "
Tease to have a story when your uncle doesn't please;
That's the way to be a Goop — tease, tease, teasel

Hint about the carriage when there 's only room for three ;
Hint about the toys you like and every doll you see;
Hint about the candy, say you're fond

of peppermint;
That's the way to be a Goop — hint,
hint, hint!

inonis)

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INTERRUPTION

Don't interrupt your father when he's telling

funny jokes;
Don't interrupt your mother when she's

entertaining folks;

Don't interrupt the visitors when they have

come to call, —

In fact, it 's generally wiser

not to interrupt at all.

cRr-BABr

I'm sure that I would rather die

Than have my playmates see me cry ;

It twists your face

And knots your forehead.

And makes you look all cross and

horrid;
And every one who sees you cries
"What is the matter with your
eyes r

CAUTION

When you travel in the street.
Are you cautious and discreet?
Do you look about for horses
When your Jittle brother crosses?
Do you go the shortest way,
Never stopping once to play?

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TARDINESS

Goodness gracious sakes alive !

Mother said, "Come home at fivel"

Now the clock is striking six,

I am in a norful fix !

She will think I can't be trusted,

And she'll say that she's disgusted!

OBEDIENCE

CHURCH HEADACHES

When 't is time to go to church

Do you ever have a chill?
When 't is time to go to school,

Do you fancy you are ill?
Oh, be very cautious, please,
I can tell by signs like these
You have got the Coop Disease!

WlQ.

PERSEVERANCE

Tony started bright and early, clearing up his room,
Soon he found he had to stop and make a little broom;

So then he went into the yard to get a little stick,

But the garden needed weeding, so he set about it, quick!

Then he found his wagon he intended to repair,

So he went into the cellar for the hammer that was there;

He'd just begun to build a box, when it was time for dinner;
And that 's why Tony's father called his son a "good beginner!*

DOLL- TIME

Spring's the time for marbles
And Fall 's the time for tops,

But boys don't know, they only go
By seeing them in shops !

They like a sled in Winter,

In Summer 'tis a kite;
But dolls are found the whole year