THE UNIVERSITY OF
NORTH CAROLINA
LIBRARY
THE WILMER COLLECTION
OF CIML WAR NOVELS
PRESENTED BY
RICHARD H. WILMER, JR.
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Page 233.
"WONTUS
OR
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION,
BY
COL. WILLIAM M. EUNKEL.
WITH ILLUSTRATIONS.
PHILADELPHIA:
J, B. LIPPINCOTT & CO.
1874.
Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1873, by
WM. M. RUXKEL,
In the Office of the Librarian of Congress at "Washington.
Lippincott's Press,
Philadelphia.
TO
CHARLES E. WARBURTON, Esq.,
PHILADELPHIA.
My dear Sir :— A desire to testify my appreciation of your friend-
ship impels me to dedicate this work to you.
I might have requested your permission thus to intrude upon you,
but I fear that if I had, your name would never have appeared on
this page.
Please accept this slight testimonial of my regard, and do me the
favor to remember always that I am
Yours very truly,
THE AUTHOR.
603219
PEEFACE.
"When I wrote these pages I had no other object
in view than to endeavor to please the people I
was writing for. Curious people, however, demand
that I shall say more than this, hence I indulge in
these prefatory remarks.
The question has been asked. Where and how did
I come into the possession of the information which
I now present to the world ? This question I would
like to answer, but necessity compels me to waive
it. By this I do not mean to imply, or even in-
sinuate in the remotest sense, that it is none of the
reader's business, but simply to dispose of a most
perplexing question in the briefest possible man-
ner. I might enter into a lengthy argument to
prove the absolute truth of all I have written, but
I have tried to say all I can say of my work, in it,
believing that not even the slightest semblance of
a doubt will ever linger in the mind of my readers
concerning its authenticity.
With the people most interested — I mean the
6
6 PREFACE.
characters themselves — I can only say that, al-
though they may resemble the people we meet in
every-day life in some degree, yet they are all
creatures of the imagination. Sufficient of the
characteristics, aims, and actions of each one is set
forth in the pages which follow, and in due time
will come under the notice of the attentive reader.
With this brief introduction I have the pleasure
to present the book itself.
November, 1873.
COlNTTEIfTS.
CHAPTER I.
PAOI
In which the Characters are introduced, and the Corps of Observa-
tion becomes a Thing of Life 11
CHAPTER II.
Wherein a Remarkable Man relates a Remarkable Story and aston-
ishes his Hearers 24
CHAPTER III.
Starts the Corps on its Winding Way, and relates some Accidents
which befell the Travelers 35
CHAPTER IV.
Details how an Ambitious Man may permit his Ambition to lead
Him into Great and Unlooked-for Difficulties . . . .47
CHAPTER V.
Dilates on the Beauties of Modern Improvements, introduces a New
Character, and restores Two Unfortunates to their Friends . 56
CHAPTER VI.
Tells of a Slight Error concerning Mr. Thomson, and the Valor of
Mr. Wontus. It also develops a New Phase in Gascon Nidd's
Character, and introduces a Woman 67
CHAPTER VII.
Quarters the Corps in Baltimore, and develops a New Talent in Mr.
Wilkins — It also takes three-quarters of the Party to a Ball, and
relates a Ludicrous Scene, and other Things too numerous to
mention 81
7
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER virr.
PAGE
Domiciles the Corps in the Capital of the Xation, and treats of
Sickness, Love, and other Thing's 9-4
CHAPTER IX.
The Sick Woman's Story — The Rivals — Love — Hate — Matrimony —
Misfortune — A Man which Wontus thinks he knows — The Arrest 105
CHAPTER X.
Introduces Mr. Nidd as a Critic, and comments on sundry Public
Institutions 120
CHAPTER XL
Introduces Mr. Xidd to the President, and places Benjamin "Wilkins
before the Reader as a Story-Teller 129
CHAPTER XXL
Mr. "Wontus comes to Grief and goes to Prison, and finds Himself
not alone — Mr. Xidd is exercised in more ways than one . . 142
CHAPTER XIIL
Makes Use of the President and liberates the Hero from Prison , 157
CHAPTER XIV.
Somewhat Philosophical — Wontus and Xidd visit the President and
make some Exj)lanations 170
CHAPTER XV.
In which the Corps gets ready for Field Service, and bids adieu
to Washington — Mr. Thomson meets some Old Friends, and Xidd
is made happy 181
CHAPTER XVL
Down the Chesapeake — The Pirates, and the Heroism of Benjamin
Wilkius 192
CHAPTER XVII.
Nidd meets with a Terrible Adventure, and the Corps makes sun-
dry Acquaintances of an Agreeable Character . . . . 20i.
CONTENTS. a
CHAPTER XVIII.
PAO>
Meeting of the Inflatus — Wontus and Nidd are Initiated and be-
come Members — A Jolly Time, with a Startling Denouement . 218
J
CHAPTER XIX.
The Corps takes passage for the Front — Thomas Thomson makes
Startling Disclosures, and Wilkins is declared a Champion . . 235
CHAPTER XX.
On to Richmond — The Corps at the Front — Mr. Wontus buys a
Relic, and Wilkins makes his First Failure 246
CHAPTER XXL
Details Sundry Haps and Mishaps, and carries the Corps to York-
town 254
CHAPTER XXII.
What the Guardsman said happened — What did happen . . 260
CHAPTER XXIII.
A New Character introduced, and an Old Story recalled , . 267
CHAPTER XXIV.
And it Rained — The Army moves onward, and the Corps witnesses
a Distressing Sight 275
CHAPTER XXV.
The Corps becomes Equestrian — Wontus exercises his Family Steed
and becomes exercised Himself — The Embalming Process, by B.
AVilkins, etc. 283
CHAPTER XXVI.
In which Gascon Nidd has a Startling Adventure .... 293
CHAPTER XXVII.
The Battle of Fair Oaks— The Corps under Fire— An Old Character
in a New Place — The Deserter — The Pursuit — The Capture and
Death 297
10 CONTENTS.
CHAPTER XXVIII.
PAGE
Mr. Xidd takes a Ride, and has an Unexpected Meeting with his
Kival . . . ^ 311
CHAPTER XXIX.
An Excellent Chapter, because it is Short, and accounts for some
Things not accounted for before 316
CHAPTER XXX.
Tells of Colonel Blakely's Love — The Change of Base — "Wontus's
Reinforcement of the Armj . . . - 317
CHAPTER XXXI.
This Chapter is principally devoted to Mr. Wilkins, who as a Sol-
dier does some very Marvelous Things — Homeward Bound . 328
CHAPTER XXXII.
In which Mr. Nidd revisits the Quaker City, becomes a Participant
in a Fireman's Riot, and is a Jilted Man 337
CHAPTER XXXIII.
Catches Mr. Wontus in the Toils of Love, and after several Disap-
pointments renders him Happy 341
CHAPTER XXXIV.
Disposes of some Characters, and begins the End .... 352
CHAPTER XXXV.
Makes TVontus happy and ends the Book 356
WONTUS,
OR
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION.
CHAPTER I.
IN WHICH THE CHARACTERS ARE INTRODUCED, AND THE
CORPS OP OBSERVATION BECOMES A THING OF LIFE.
" Tommy," said Mr Olympus Wontus to his man-servant,
"it's awful 1"
" Yes, sir," answered Tommy, and silence reigned.
" Yes, yes, it's awful !" repeated Mr. Wontus, as though
speaking to himself, rising from his chair and gazing abstract-
edly out of the window. " The thunder-bolts of Jove and the
dogs of war have been let loose on our beautiful land, and what
it has taken years to build up will be torn down in a day."
And Mr. Wontus continued to gaze out of the window.
" Can you see 'em, sir?" asked the man who had been ad-
dressed as Tommy, and who now looked up from his work of
scouring the andirons.
"See who?" asked Mr. Wontus, fixing his glance on the
questioner's face. "See who?" he repeated, sharply.
" The thunder-bugs of Jove and the dogs."
Mr. Wontus's face lost its vacant expression ; he thrust his
hands into his pantaloons pockets, and for a moment gazed on
his servant-man in silence. By-and-by his lips parted, and a
shade of sorrow seemed to pass over his face. At length he
spoke :
" Tommy, you're a fool I"
" Yes, sir."
11
12 ^ w ox TVS, on
" I've told you so a thousand times before, but there seems
to be no improvement in you."
"Yes, sir."
" Your associations must be bad."
" They must, sir."
There was silence for a few moments, during which Mr.
Wontus gazed fixedly on Tommy, and Tommy worked with
renewed vigor on the andirons.
" Tommy," said Mr. Wontus, mildly, " with whom do you
associate mostly?"
" With you, sir." And Tommy looked up with innocence
beaming in his face; but Mr. AVontus had turned and was
looking out of the window. His face was clouded, as much
as such a genial, happy face ever could be clouded ; but the
cloud was soon dispelled, and a look of firm resolution took its
place. He walked to the table and took a seat.
" Tommy, come here."
" Yes, sir." And the man arose, and running his grimy
fingers through his coarse, unkempt hair, and thus streaking
his face with the dirt from his hands until he looked like the
colored prints of the aboriginals which we see in the shop-
windows, he took his place before his employer.
" YouVe been a faithful man," said Mr. Wontus, after a
pause, " but, Thomas (Mr. Wontus spoke emphatically), you
are a very dull one ; that is, I think you are sometimes, and
then again I think you are not. Now, I did not say anything
about the thunder-bugs of Jove : I said thunder-bolts." Mr.
Wontus stopped speaking, and looked at his man.
" Yes, sir," said Tommy, humbly.
'' Then why didn't you understand me?"
It was evident that scenes of this kind had occurred before,
and that Mr. Wontus was now struggling for the mastership.
He repeated his question, and the man stood before him
scratching his head, as if in doubt. Soon a bright look stole
over his face, and with an air as much as to say, " I've hit on
the right thing," he answered:
" My association, sir."
"Damn it, sir!" cried Mr, Wontus, with explosive anger;
and, jumping up, he flung his hat upon his head, and in a
moment had vanished through the door, leaving his man stand-
ing in bewildering uncertainty whether to stay or fly. First
HcU
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 13
he looked at the chair on which Mr. Wontus had sat, then he
looked to the door, and thus in silent contemplation he stood
for a long while without moving. He appeared to he busy
with his thoughts. In time these found expression in
words.
'' Thomas Thomson," said he, " you've been to blame in this
here thing. Here you've been to work for Mr. Wontus these
here ten years, — since you was a boy, — and you ought to know
your man. (A pause.) I wonder why he didn't never get
married? As rich as cream; but here he's been a livin' all
alone in this here tavern for Lord knows how long, and ain't
got no wife yet. (Another pause.) Yes, a good man ; as
good a man as ever lived. Kind-hearted ? As kind-hearted
as ever a human could be. Lord ! why he wouldn't do a mean
thing to nothin' or nobody for the world ; and putty good lookin',
too. Says he was born and raised here ; but if he was, where's
all his 'lations ? (A pause.) Made his own money a boilin'
soap, an' ain't got nothin' or nobody to bother him. Why,
he's the goodest man I've ever seed in my life. Lord, look
as how he treats me ! I reckon I've made him mad now, but
I don't know ; I don't understand how it is that me and him
have so many misunderstandin's."
Thomas here fell into a condition of reflection so profound
that he did not notice that his master had returned, and was
standing inside the door, his face wearing its usual genial and
kindly expression.
" Thomas," said he, " I've been thinking." He walked to
the window, and gazed abstractedly into the street.
"You have?" said the gentleman addressed, looking up,
without manifesting the slightest concern at the change in the
manner of his master.
"Thomas," said Mr. Wontus, "I've concluded to go to
war."
" To war?" Thomas's mouth opened, and he gazed at his
master as though Mr. Wontus had suddenly transformed him-
self into a cannon, which he expected to explode in a moment.
" Yes, Thomas," said Mr. Wontus, firmly, " I think that's
what I'll do."
" You're a jokin'," cried Mr. Thomson. " They wouldn't
have you. And s'pose you did go, what would you do ? Them
'ar legs couldn't march." And Mr. Thomson cast a glance
2
14 woxTUS, on
over the understandings of his master, which was equivocal,
if nothing more.
" Yes, that's what I'll do," cried 3Ir. Wontus, without heed-
ing the remarks of his servant. " I want something to do,
something to engage my attention. Here I sit, day after day,
week in and week out, and do — do just nothing. Every man
ought to do something always, but more particularly now.
I've got money, — yes, more than I want. I've subscribed to
all the government loans, and about everything else, but I
want to be more active. Why, I can arrange it ; and who
knows but Olympus Wontus, the retired soap manufacturer,
muy be of some use in the world after all."
During the delivery of these remarks by the master, as
though he were talking to himself, the man's face, which but a
moment before was smiling, assumed a grave shape, and at
length settled into an expre.ssion of terror.
'■ Lord, Mr. Wontus !'' he cried, excitedly, '• you won't go to
the war, will you? Why, the rebels will cut you into little
pieces. You can't run like our fellei-s did at Bull Run, and,
sure as shootin', you'd be took and hung !"
" You don't understand," said M-r. Wontus, kindly, inter-
rupting. " No, you don't understand, Thomas," said he, after
a pause, during which he laid his hand on his servant's
shoulder.
'' Do 1/011 understand ?" cried Mr. Thomson, excitedly, — '' do
you understand, sir ? Was you ever captured and hung? No,
of course you wasn't ; and do ?/ou understand ? No, of course
you don't. Then how am I, a feller what ain't never been out
of New York in his life? No, I g-uess I don't; and 'scuse
me, 3Ir. Wontus, but I don't want to. This here country is
good enough for me, and them fellers what want to go can do
it; but Mr. Thomas Thomson don't go, nohow!' Having
finished his speech, which was delivered with great force and
vehemence, Mr. Thomas Thomson stepped back and looked at
his master as though his argument was unanswerable.
There was very little of that feeling which commonly exists
between a man and his servant, between Mr. Wontus and his
>ervant; in fact, it sometimes looked as though Mr. Wontus
^^as the servant and Mr. Thomson the master. ^Mr. Wontus
had peculiar ideas concerning his fellow-man, and while he
drew a strict line in social intercourse with the world, yet he
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 15
alwap felt that every man wlio was born in the image of his
Creator was liis equal, — no better, no worse. His servant had
been with him for years ; he had grown up to manhood in his
service, and he had, in his loneliness, come to look upon him
more as a companion than as a menial.
"Tommy," said Mr. Wontus, quietly, and with kindness
beaming from his large, brown eye, " you don't understand
me. Now listen and I'll tell you my plans. I don't intend
going into the army as a soldier, but simply as a corps of ob-
servation." (It may here be of interest to all concerned to
know that Mr. Wontus not unfrequently pronounced his words
as he had seen them spelled, and this fact gave rise to an in-
terruption.)
" A corpse !" cried Mr. Thomson, in evident trepidation.
" A corpse of observation ! Oh, IMr. Wontus ! my dear, good,
kind friend and pertector, don't be a corpse ! Be anything
else but a corpse. Corpses ain't healthy no times — never ;
and observation corpses are as bad as the worstest "
" Come, come, Tommy," cried Mr. Wontus, interrupting,
" as I said before, you do not understand me. Now keep quiet
until I explain. A corps ain't a corpse. Tommy ; it's another
thing. It's a man or two, or more than one man, or a good
many, according to the way it's done and the number who
want to go ; in fact, Tommy, it ain't exactly clear to my mind
what a corps is, only that it ain't a corpse after all. Greneral
McClellan, the great chief of our army, was a corps once ;
not a dead corpse. Tommy, but a corps of observation. He
was sent to the great siege of Sebastopool to see how things
were done there, and that's the reason why he was a corps.
You see, Tommy, Greneral McClellan was a corps, and that's
the kind of corps I intend to be. I don't intend to fight ; I
only want to see, — to have something to do, — to help the brave
fellows who are standing between us and the enemy who would
tear down that flag which we love so much and trample it in
the dust ; that's all, Tommy, — that's what I want to do."
For a few moments Mr. Thomson stood in an attitude of
deep thought. His head was bowed, his eyes were fixed on
the floor, and the dexter digit of his left hand lay along his
aquiline nose. He speaks :
" A corps of observation ain't a corpse?"
Mr. Wontus nodded.
16 WONTUS, OR
" A corj3S ain't a corpse ?"
"Not as you understand it," said Mr. Wontus.
" A corps ain't a dead corpse, but a live corps ?"
Again Mr. Wontus nodded.
" A corps " Mr. Thomson stopped suddenly and looked
perplexed, and then, as if speaking to himself, he continued :
" If a corps is a corpse, then it ain't a corpse ; if a corps
ain't a corpse, then it is a corps ! It's mighty sing'lar. I'm
blessed if I see it with these here lamps." And then again
he was silent.
" Tommy," said Mr. Wontus, " I shall need a man like you
to accompany me ; but I'll not press you to go if you don't
want to. I don't think there would be any danger."
" General McClellan was a corps, was he?" remarked Mr.
Thomson.
" He was."
" He ain't a corpse now ?"
" No."
" Could I be like the general?"
" Certainly," replied Mr. Wontus.
"Mr. Wontus," said Thomas, looking up, "I've never
deserted you, and I never will ! I'll go !"
And thus it was settled that Mr. Thomas Thomson, who
had stood by his master faithfully in the past, would stand by
him faithfully in the future, although there continued a lin-
gering doubt in his mind as to how men could be a corps and
yet not be a corpse. It is one of the beautiful idiosyncrasies
of our langTiage, and might confound wiser heads.
The matter between master and man having been satisfac-
torily arranged, Mr. Wontus again turned to the window, and
Mr. Thomson to the andirons. The day was bright and beau-
tiful, and the buds of early spring had just commenced to
make their appearance on the trees and shrubs in the small
yards about him. Mr. Wontus stood gazing out of the win-
dow at the flags which floated, " like a rainbow in the skies,"
from the diff"erent flagstafis of his patriotic neighbors, and was
apparently lost in thought.
" Yes, my mind is made up," said he, suddenly, looking
round. " Tommy, you know where Mr. Nidd's rooms are?"
" Yes, sir."
" Well, you go round to Xidd and ask him if he will not
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATIOX. 17
be kind enough to slip around here, on his way down-town
this afternoon. Tell him I have business of importance.
Yes," he continued, after a pause, " Nidd is the very man :
cool, sharp, and brave. He shall be one of the party. (He-
fleeting.) His meanness may prevent him. (A pause.) I'll
offer to bear half of his expenses myself. He'll go ; I'm sure
he will. Yes, yes, Tommy, run round and tell Nidd that I
want to see him to-day — this afternoon — as soon as possible."
In a brief time Tommy made his exit, and Mr, Wontus was
left to himself.
" Nidd's the man !" cried he, clapping his ftit hands to-
gether and rubbing them till they were red. " Yes, Nidd's
the veri/ man. Let me see : we've been acquainted fur ten —
yes, over ten years now, — and I guess Nidd's pretty well oif.
He's a little singular, and will quarrel over his rubber ; but
he's the very man, for all that. Let me see : I'll write to my
friend Moxley, and procure the necessary information and
papers from the departments at Washington." And Mr. Wontus
accordingly sat down and wrote the letters, giving full par-
ticulars about how he wished to go about among the soldiers,
at his own expense, and lend them a helping hand wherever
he was able. He had no fears but that his application would
meet with success, for his friend Moxley was a clerk in one of
the departments, and he felt that Mr. Lincoln, who had never
been known to refuse a kindness when it was in his power to
grant it, more particularly when it was intended for the good
of his brave soldiers, would grant his request. But as yet
Mr. Wontus did not know how many his party would number,
so, leaving a blank space, he patiently awaited the appearance
of his friend, Mr. Nidd.
" He's comin' !" shouted Thoma§, rushing into the room.
And in truth he was, for the words had scarce died on the ser-
vant's lijDS than a tall, red-ficed, gaunt-looking, middle-aged
gentleman presented himself at the door, and, without further
ceremony, w^ilked into the room. His hair was of a brownish
hue, and was clipped close to his head. A pair of small,
deep-set blue eyes looked out from beneath a pair of shaggy
eyebrows; and a stiff, reddish beard, trimmed close, sur-
rounded his face and mouth. His legs and arms were long,
but not disproportionate to his body, and his clothes were of
the shabby-genteel order, much the worse for wear.
2^
18 WOXTUS, OR
" Wontus," said he, in a sharp, brusque manner, "what do
you want?"
" My dear Nidd !" cried Mr. Wontus, jumping up and
grasping his friend by the hand, " I want to give you a little
recreation : I want you to accompany me, to leave business to
the dogs for awhile, and enjoy a little of life while there is
yet time."
" Uh !" ejaculated Mr. Nidd.
" Why, it will be grand ; so new, so novel, and decidedly
original. Why, we'll be the wonder and admiration of the
world," continued Wontus, without heeding the skeptical
glances which his friend bestowed upon him. " Why, I can see
us now, as we journey along and view — always from a safe
place, Nidd, always from a safe place — the shock of battle,
and "
" Stop !" cried Mr. Nidd, commandingly. " What in the
devil are you talking about?"
" Yes, yes," said Wontus, " I had forgotten. Come, be
seated, my dear Nidd. Tommy, give us two glasses and that
bottle on the top shelf. Come, sit down, Nidd, and I'll relate
to you my plans."
Both gentlemen were seated, and, after having refreshed
themselves, Mr. Wontus entered into a full and complete
explanation of his plans. At first Mr. Nidd laughed, and
pooh-poohed the whole affiiir as visionary and impracticable ;
but Mr. Wontus knew better, and then the gentlemen again
refreshed themselves from the bottle, which stood between
them on the table.
" My business," said Mr. Nidd, after a time, " would suf-
fer by my absence ; in truth, to be candid, Wontus, I'm too
poor."
" Poor?" echoed Mr. Wontus. " Why, Nidd, you haven't
spent an unnecessary cent since your good wife died ; let me
see, that's five years ago, and your conveyancing business has
been large, — I know it has. You ought to be a very rich
man. I'm afraid "
Mr. Wontus was intemipted by his friend jumping up and
declaring that the whole aflfair was impossible ; and then he
showered such a multitude of objections and obstacles on Mr.
Wontus that, had that gentleman not been thoroughly imbued
with the idea, he would probably have given it up.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 19
"Come, come, Nidd !" cried Wontus, rising, forcing his
friend into a cliair, " I need your services in tliis matter, and
I am willing to pay for them. (Nidd's eyes brightened.) Yes,
you will receive enough from me to bear your expenses, and I
insist that you shall take a holiday, — your health and spirits
need it." And then Mr. Wontus grew eloquent over the origi-
nality and beauty of his plans, and argued so conclusively that
at length Mr. Nidd was able to see some merit in it, and re-
marked that he did need a little recreation, and finally, with
the influence of the friendly bottle, consented to at once close
up his office, and assist in making the necessary awangements.
" Thomas will accompany us," said Mr. Wontus, after it had
been settled that Mr. Nidd would immediately render his as-
sistance in making the preparations ; " but I've been thinking,"
he continued, after a pause, " that it wouldn't be a bad idea
for us to have with us a younger and more experienced man
than you or I, Nidd, — a man who has seen the world, and who
is familiar with men and things. Such a man could probably
be procured, and, I have no doubt, would be a great saving
as well as service to us. I've thought for a long time of placing
a man in the Army as a substitute for myself. I might get
such a man to accompany us, and when the Government needed
his services, why, we could just put him into the ranks. What
do you think of that, old fellow?" almost shouted Mr. Wontus;
" a grand idea, eh?"
" Well," replied Mr. Nidd, sipping his liquor, and gazing
out of the window, " the idea is good ; but I am afraid "
" What are you afraid of?" queried Mr. Wontus, firing up.
" The expense would be "
" Expense be dod-rotted 1" shouted Mr. Wontus. " Nidd,
I'm a rich man, and this war is making me richer ; my property
is worth nearly double w^hat it was a year ago, and I've got
more money than I really have any use for. To be sure, I've
contributed pretty well to the different funds for the help of
the government and the soldiers, but I've got money to spare.
I've never spent anything for pleasure ; I've lived like a miser
all my life, and I'm resolved to make a change. (A pause.)
Another thing, Nidd : we'll die some of these days, and we
can't take our money with us, you know."
" But we can benefit our families," suggested Mr. Nidd.
" Our families ? What family have you or I got ? Nobody.
20 WOXTUS, OR
I've got relations, but what do I know about them, or they
about me?" Mr. Wontus ceased speaking for a moment
and gazed abstractedly at the table. " Well, no matter," he
continued, as though following out a line of thought, "I'm
resolved."
And after a little more talk it was settled that Mr. Wontus,
Mr. Nidd, and Mr. Thomas Thomson should immediately
settle their affairs and be ready to leave for the war without
delay.
" Nidd," said Mr. Wontus, as that gentleman was about to
leave, " see if you can't get such a man as we want. See some
of your friends, and get a man if possible ; for such a man —
a smart, active fellow — will be of great service to us ; don't
you see ? '
Mr. Wontus would probably have gone on expatiating on
the necessary qualities for such a man to be possessed of for
an indefinite time, but Mr. Nidd suddenly signified that he
did see ! and left the room, promising to call again in the
evening.
x\ll was bustle and excitement in Mr. Wontus's room during
the rest of the day. Thomas Thomson was dodging here and
there ; one moment doing a chore here and the next moment
undoing what he had just completed. The closets and trunks
and boxes were raked out, and their contents piled in heaps
on the floor, only to be thrown back again in worse confusion
than they were before ; chaos existed in every direction, and
Mr. Thomson appeared to have suddenly been transferred to
realms of perfect bliss. He chuckled with inward delight ; the
longings of his heart were at last to be gratified, — he was to see
the world, and in a sphere which, he fondly hoped, would pass
his name into history. (Be it known that Thomas Thomson,
although a man filling an humble station in life, had aspirations
like other men, and, without knowing exactly how or why, he
hoped to gratify them.) As for Mr. Wontus, he was the em-
bodiment of pleasurable excitement. His room was too small
to contain him, and, leaving Tommy to make whatever arrange-
ments he chose, he rushed down-stairs to acquaint his landlord
with his determination. This he did in a flighty, almost in-
coherent, way, much to that gentleman's consternation and
sorrow, for Mr. Wontus was not only one of his most respect-
able boarders, but one of the most profitable, and he was sorry
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 21
to have him leave ; but Mr. Wontus was determined, and the
landlord's best efforts toward persuading him to relinquish his
project were lost. Mr. Wontus would listen to nothing, and
in high glee he rushed into the street, buttonholing his ac-
quaintances, and bestowing alms on all who asked. He was
at peace with himself and all mankind, and he looked upon
every soldier he met as his friend and companion. He was
not what is generally termed a " drinking man," although he
would occasionally imbibe with a friend, but on this occasion
he came near forgetting that he was the retired merchant, and
evening found the jolly Mr. Wontus jollier than ever.
On returning to his quarters, he found them occupied by
his friend, Mr. Gascon Nidd, and a stranger. The new-comer
appeared to be perfectly at his ease, and, with one leg thrown
over the arm of his chair, he sat reading one of the papers
which Mr. Thomson had raked from the closet and left lying
on the floor.
Throwing his hat upon the table, and running his fingers
through his hair, he hailed the gentlemen in a gleeful way, and
offered a hand to each. Mr. Nidd merely nodded his head,
but the strange gentleman was on his feet in a flash, and,
grasping Mr. AVontus's extended hand in both of his, imme-
diately poured forth such a volume of language that, for the
moment, Mr. Wontus was taken quite aback.
" I'm delighted to see and know you, sir," cried the stranger.
" I hope you enjoy good health, and will continue to do so
forever."
" Mr. Wilkins, — Mr. Benjamin Wilkins, Mr. Wontus," said
Nidd, introducing the gentleman.
" Glad to see you, sir ; very glad to see you, sir. Sorry I
can't offer you more hospitable quarters ; but, you see, I'm
about to go to war, and Tommy! Tommy!" shouted
Mr. Wontus ; but Tommy was not to be found. Like his
master, he had found it impossible to restrain his joy, and he
had gone out, where there was room to vent it.
" AVar, Mr. Wontus, war ?" remarked the new acquaintance,
with considerable gusto, as Mr. Wontus sank into a chair.
" Ah, sir, I have seen it in all its beauties, terrors, and vicissi-
tudes. The treacherous sands of Mexico have blistered my
feet, and I've slept among the magnolias and cactuses ; the
burning suns of India have blinded me, — I was one of the de-
22 WONTUS, OR
voted garrison of Liicknow. — and my eyes beheld the snows
and suflerin's of the Crimea. I have seen it all as a soldier of
fortune, and I love the life with all its dangers ; bravery con-
quers all difficulties."
" You've seen it all !" gasped Mr. Wontus.
'■^AU! Yes, and more "
It is impossible to say how much further Mr. Wilkins would
have gone had it not been that Mr. Nidd interrupted him with
the statement that Benjamin Wilkins was the man who had
been recommended to him as the sort of person Mr. Wontus
wished to secure.
"Ah, yes, — yes, I remember; a capital man, Mr. Nidd, — a
capital man. Mr. Wilkins, I am glad to see you, — to know
you, sir. You have heard what we propose to do ?" And Mr.
Wontus again grasped the new-comer's hand and shook it
warmly.
At last it was all arranged that Mr. Wilkins should go
with the party as a substitute and general managing man.
He was to receive thirteen dollars a month during the time
that he was with ^Ir. Wontus, and when that gentleman de-
sired him to enter the service of his country as his represent-
ative, he was to receive a present of five hundred dollars in
A day passed. During the time that the baggage was being
packed and the effects of the different gentlemen were being
disposed of, Mr. Wilkins' s services were of great value. He
understood everything, and appeared to have an instinctive
knowledge as to where everything was to be had at the shortest
notice. ■ Had it not been for his expensive habits Mr. Wontus
would have thought — he was very near to it already — that his
services were absolutely indispensable.
At length everything was arranged. By the advice of Mr.
Wilkins, each one of the party was provided with an outfit
of woolen clothing; and an extensive assortment of bottles, etc.,
were put in the charge of Mr. Thomas Thomson. At last all
was in readiness, and the party — Mr. Wontus, Mr. Nidd, Mr.
Wilkins, and 3Ir. Thomson — were assembled in the first-named
gentleman's room for the last time.
'* I feel a little sad. for all," said Mr. Wontus, looking about
the familiar walls of his room.
" Bad time !" snapped Mr. Nidd.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 23
" There is a feelin' of tenderness for that which we have
lived among," said Mr. Wilkins, sympathetically, — '^ a sort of
indescribable feelin' ; I don't wonder at your havin' sad
feelin's, Mr. Wontus. For myself, I am a man of the world,
and all places are home to me."
" Wilkins," said Mr. Wontus, touched with the remarks of
his companion, " I have to look at you, sometimes ; you are
evidently a man of varied attainments and ability. Some day
you must tell us the story of your life, — why not to-night?"
" I would be delighted to do so ; but first I have a propo-
sition to make which I hope will meet with your approval. It
is this : That inasmuch as we shall be all together, and travelin' ,
as it was, as one man, I propose that we resolve ourselves into
a corps, and that, out of compliment to the chief of our party,
we call it ' The Wontus Corps of Observation,' as a slight
testimonial of our high regard, confidence, and respect. What
say you, gentlemen ?"
" I beg of you, gentlemen," cried Mr. Wontus, who was
modest, but who, for all that, had his little vanities, — " I beg
of you, gentlemen, don't call "
" Mr. Wilkins, your proposition is a good one," cried Mr.
Nidd. "I say ' The Wontus Corps of Observation' ;" and so
it was settled. They drank each other's good health, Mr.
Thomson arriving in time to be one of the party, and then
Mr. Wontus demanded the story.
" Well, gentlemen, I'll tell you something about myself;
but I beg of you not to be curious." And Mr. Wilkins drew
the back of his hand across his mouth, and, leaning forward
in his chair, commenced a sketch of his life, which properly
should have a place of its own.
24 WOXTUS, OR
CHAPTER 11.
"WHEREIN A REMARKABLE MAN RELATES A REMARKABLE
STORY AND ASTONISHES HIS HEARERS.
" It is scarcely necessary," said the narrator, " for me to
say that I was born, since the fact of my bein' here is fair
evidence of that important fact. I was born, however, in
America, but exactly when or where I can't fully determine,
for m}^ father was a man of the world, and moved his family
frequently ; but I think it was somewhere on the coast of New
Jersey, since my earliest recollections are associated with sand
and the sea. Ours was a numerous family, well known and
highly respected, I assure you ; in fact, my father once had
some idea of being governor of the State, but soon after the
idea occurred to him he moved into the State of Delaware,
and the idea was practically lost forever. To be brief, soon
after takin' up our residence in our new home, my father had
the misfortune to be taken down with a fever, and finally
handed in his checks. Well, I was the youngest in the
family, and, guessin' from that stand-point, I must now be
somewhere in the neighborhood of thirty years old.
" As I have before remarked, the family was large, and so
each one — we were all boys — was compelled to go to work.
I fancied the gay and hardy life of a sailor, and accordiu'ly,
soon after the old man's death, shipped before the mast in
a vessel bound for Spain. I couldn't have been more than
fifteen years old at the time, but from that moment a new
life, with all its charms and allurements, was spread before me.
Our crew wasn't numerous, so, boy that I was, I did man's
duty ; and, to show you how I succeeded, allow me to relate
the fii*st adventure of my life. It seems to me that I was cut
out for adventures. But let me to the adventure.
"Perhaps you gentlemen are not familiar with vessels?
But no matter. You see we were standin' out of Delaware
Bay with a spankin' breeze on our lee quarter ; the cook had
just served coff"eej and I was just commencin' to take my
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 25
trick at the tiller, when Captain Coldin', who commanded the
Jane Ann, came abaft the galley, and, throwin' an eye to
windward, remarked that he guessed that we'd have a blow.
I looked up, but not bein' much versed in the weather signs
at that time, I said nothin,' but kept her close up to the wind.
'Mr. Johnsing,' said the captain, addressin' the first mate,
* what's your 'pinion as to dust ?' That's a singular way these
seaf'arin' men have of talkin'," remarked Mr. Wilkins, as his
listeners manifested some surprise. " ' Shake my eyes,' says the
mate, ' but I guess we'll have a spell.' Well, the officers went on
talkin' for some time, when all at once the heavens became
overcast and the wind blowed great guns. ' Tack, tack !'
cried Captain Coldin', as he grasped the taifi-ail and swung
the spanker-boom around on her davits. ' Tack she is !' I
shouted ; but it wasn't within the power of mortal man to
save her. §he swung round on her beam like a tub, and
plunged a couple of times, and then went down in eighty
fathoms of water with every soul on board."
" Oh, dear !" cried Mr. Wontus, with a shudder. " How
horrible ! And were none of them saved ?"
" Where were you?" interrupted Mr. Nidd, incredulously.
"Well," continued Mr. Wilkins, "I had learned to swim
before I left home ; and, although I was chilled by the water,
for it was in November, if I mistake not, I no sooner found that
it would be useless to undertake to save the ship or her crew,
than I grew selfish, and resolved to save myself. It is singu-
lar — perhaps you have noticed it yourself — how a man's
thoughts will travel through his head in the short space of a
little while, but it is nevertheless true, for, as I sank down, I
formed a plan by which I felt that I could save myself; so the
moment I struck bottom I says to myself, ' Ben, this is do or
die; there's a telegraph cable laid somewhere hereabouts, and
if you can find it, why, you can find the shore,' — you see I
knew that the other end was fastened to the shore somewhere
near one of the light-houses, — so I commenced huntin' around
in the mud, and, after considerable trouble, I found it, and
hand over hand pulled myself to dry laud."
" Just stop there, will you, Mr. Wilkins?" asked Mr. Nidd.
" How far from land do you suppose you were when your
vessel capsized?"
" About seven miles."
B 3
26 )VOXTUS, OR
"The cable was lying on the bottom, I suppose?"
" Yes, sir."
'• And you pulled yourself all the way to land by means of
the cable?"
" Yes, sir."
" Well, now, sir," continued Mr. Nidd, in a decided and
matter-of-fact manner, "we would like to know how long you
can hold your breath eighty fathoms under water?"
The party all looked at ]Mr. Wilkins, and that gentleman
looked puzzled. The question was evidently a poser and quite
unexpected. In a moment his face assumed an air of injured
innocence, and he said :
" You see, I didn't hold fast to the cable all the time, but
would let go every once in awhile, come to the surface, take
a breath, and go down again. That's the way it was. You
see there is nothin' astonishin' in that."
" Certainly not," said Mr. Xidd, evidently relieved from a
painful doubt.
" A most miraculous escape," cried Mr. Wontus. " Take
something, Mr. Wilkins ; it makes the cold chills crawl up my
back to iJimk cf it."
Why a libation should have such a soothing effect upon man
has been a mooted question with the philosophers since the
days of Xoah, and will continue time without end, and it would
be folly for a man to undertake to analyze the causes now.
Certain it is, however, that frequent libations invariably make
men better or worse than when in their rational, sober senses ;
and on this occasion even the austere Nidd became more genial
and clever than was usual with him.
'' But you haven't finished," said Wontus, after the com-
pany had sipped their liquor for a few moments in silence.
'• By no means," cried Mr. Nidd, — " by no means. Go on,
Mr. Wilkins."
'' Well, as I was savin'," continued Mr. Wilkins, " I landed
at the light-house, and had just strength enough to crawl to
its friendly shelter, when I fainted, — something I never did
before or since ; and that was the last I knowed until I found
myself comfortably tucked in bed, with a bright fire in the
hearth and the savory odor of delicious cookin' pervadin' my
room. To make a long story short, for the most important
part of my life is unspoken as yet, I remained at the light-house
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 27
for some two years as assistant to Mr. Caddie, the light-keeper,
and finally ended by shippin' on a passin' brigantine I'or Liver-
pool."
" Did you never hear of the Jane Ann f" queried Mr.
Wontus, anxiously.
" Nary a word."
" Nor her crew ?" asked Mr. Thomson.
" They w:is never heard of more, — leastwise not by me !"
" Proceed !" commanded Mr. Nidd.
Cleansing his throat, Mr. Wilkins proceeded :
" For me to tell you all that happened to me from that day
to this — how I was wrecked on a lonely island, and remained
over four years, to be at last picked up by a man-of-war which
had lost her course ; how I came out safely and again went to
Europe, to become a soldier in Her Majesty's Second Royal In-
fantry ; how I fought and bled in the Crimea, and the deeds I
done ; how I went clear through the Injun rebellion from
Tzgampopore to Lucknow, and then walked through Germany
and Central Europe — would take more time than we have at
our disposal at present."
Mr. Nidd drew a long breath.
" Arrivin' in Holland, I for the first time heard of these
domestic conwulsions that was disturbin' the equilibrium of
society in my native land ; and proceedin' at once to Amster-
djini, I there learned that the strife had commenced, and men
was needed to perpetuate the honor and glory of our govern-
ment. I had been away from my native land for a long while ;
but there was always, under all circumstances, a lingerin' love
for the home of my childhood, and I resolved to make my
way homeward. I was compelled to wait for some days for a
vessel, and durin' this time a most unfortunate accident oc-
curred to me. But I will only state that I had the misfortune
to be robbed at my hotel of everything I possessed, and when
the vessel was ready to sail, instead of takin' my place in her
as a saloon passenger, as would become me, — a man of the
world, — I was compelled to ship before the mast."
" A shame !" groaned Mr. Wontus.
" Yes, gentlemen, I felt a little cast down like at my mis-
fortune ; but I was used to all sorts of life, and I felt that I
would certainly be appreciated when I once had an opportunity
to make my value known to the captain. The sailors was all
28 WOXTUS, OB
Dutch, and from the start appeared to take a dislike to me ;
hut when the captain finally took me aft, and made me his
confidential clerk, their rage was tremendious. But what
mattered that to me ? I only asked time to prove to them
that I was their best friend ; but, alas ! that time never came.
My duties kept me very busy, for I made out all the reckon-
in's, kept the log, and so forth, and although we was out
nearly two months, yet I never had an opportunity in all that
time to approach my messmates. I assure you there was
nothin' of pride in the matter on my part. Everything went
along smoothly durin' the voyage, and I think we had been
out about seven weeks, when one bright mornin' we became
becalmed. There we lay a rollin' and pitchin' in the trough
of the sea for days, and the thing got monotonous ; I felt it
myself. The ofiicers raved and the men swore ; but it was all
of no account, — there wasn't enough wind to tilt a cockle-shell.
" I was brought up a protestant, gentlemen," continued the
speaker, " and there never was anything like superstition in
my composition. But sailors, as a class, are superstitious, you
know, and Dutch sailors particula'ly so ; so, when one of the
fo'top men said that the reason why we was becalmed was be-
cause we had an evil spirit on board, there was a general howl
of assent on the fo'castle, and from that moment nothin'
would do but that the man, whoever he was, must be chucked
overboard. The officers did their best, but everybody was
dissatisfied, and the affair resulted in somebody assertin' that
/was the cause of all the misery, and that / should be the
man to go into the sea. Well, gentlemen, I was never afraid
in my life, and I didn't fear even now ; but I certainly did
object to the unceremonious way they had of declarin' that I
was the man possessed, so I proposed that it wouldn't be any-
thing more than fair for us to draw lots, and the man who
drawed the unlucky number should be the man to go over-
board. They wouldn't listen to this for a time, but the
officers and passengers all said that it wasn't nothin' more than
was right, and at last the men had to give in. The arrangements
were all made, and the first mate cut the requisite number of
papers, and marked one ' unlucky,' and the man who drawed
this one was to be considered as guilty of harborin' an evil
spirit, and should pay the penalty with his life."
Here 31r. Nidd gave Thomas Thomson a severe kick, and
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION: 29
directed liim to snore in a lower key ; liis high notes were dis-
agreeable. Mr. Thomson took a new position, and settled
back into the arms of Morpheus.
The narrator continued :
" The captain put the papers in his hat, and each of the
men stepped up and without lookin' drew one of the papers
out and handed it to the mate, who looked at it carefully for
the word that was to decide the drawer's fate. We had
formed a line, and I was about in the middle. It didn't make
much difference to me whether I drew the word or not ; so,
when I walked up, I just stuck my hand carelessly into the
hat, drawed a paper, handed it to the mate, and was walk in'
aft when I heerd a shout from the men which appeared at that
moment like my death-knell. I had drawed the unlucky
paper !"
Mr. Wontus groaned, and fortified himself with a small
libation.
" I halted, and the mate walked up to me, and handed me
the paper. There was no occasion for me to look at it, so I
merely remarked that I would be ready in a little while, and
then returned to the cabin to finish the ship's work, which I
had commenced before goin' to the drawin', and to arrange my
own private affairs.
" By the ship's chart, I reckoned that we were at this time
somewhere off the coast of South Carolina, and about four
hundred miles from land. I had finished the ship's business,
and was engaged in writin' a letter home, when I was inter-
rupted by the captain, who came in and said that the men
was impatient, and that I must immej lately come on deck.
I tore my letter to pieces, and in a moment was on the fo'-
castle. The faces of the men were wreathed in smiles of joy ;
but the officers and passengers looked sorrowful, and as they
approached to bid me adieu forever, I noticed the tears trick-
lin' down the cheeks of more than one brave feller. But while
I was receivin' their adieus, it occurred to n;e that it was my
duty to make an effort to save my life, so, signifyin' that I
desired to speak, the officers and men drew near, and I com-
menced :
" ' Elates,' says I, ' it has been my misfortune to draw the
unlucky paper { but I don't complain. I bow to the rule ;
but, while I do so, I have a slight boon to ask, which I feel
3-x-
30 WON TVS, OR
sure you will gratify me in.' There was a buzz went through
the crowd, but I went on. ' What I want,' I said, ' is that
you shall give me one of the ship's casks and put me inside.
I want some bread, meat, and water ; and also that you will
give me the bung-hole plug in my hand and leave the bung-hole
open. There is but little chance for me to save my life, but
still, if you will grant me this request, you shall retain a place
in my memory which can't never fade while I live.' Some
of the men understood me, and some didn't, but after the
officer had translated my remarks I noticed that the men
looked as though they would grant my request. ' Let him
have what he wants,' cried the boatswain ; ' if he leaves the
ship all will be well !' ' Yes, let him have it,' echoed some
others ; and, as there was no objection, the carpenter got out
one of the empty casks, and, while the men were getting me
the provisions I asked for, the carpenter gave me the bung-
plug, put me in the cask, and when I had said good-by to
the party, and got my stores, headed up the cask, and I was
ready to be tossed overboard.
" Some time elapsed from the time between the he^idin' up
of the cask and the time that it was chucked overboard, which
I took advantage of in arrangin' my provisions and water,
and decidiu' how I would act. I tried the plug, which I held
in my hand, into the bung-hole, and it fit spendidly. ' Now,'
says I to myself ' when they cast me overboard, I'll just jam
the plug into the hole and hold it there until I come to the
surface, when I can take it out, and thus give myself all the
air I want ; but I must be careful to keep the bung-hole up,
or else the water will come in, and I'll be drowned sure."
" Yes, yes, I see," said Mr. Wontus, drawing his chair
closer, his fiice wearing an expression of intense interest.
" I had hardly got my calculations all made, when I felt
the cask raised from the deck, carried to the side of the ship,
and chucked overboard. I had taken the precaution to jam
the plug into the hole, so when the cask went down under the
water she rolled some, but I was as dry as we gentlemen are
at this moment. The cask didn't remain under the water
verj' long, and when it rose to the surface I pulled the plug
out, and thus I was safe and sound. — not so sci/e. but very
sound. (Here Mr. W. laughed.) The wind springin' up
shortly after, I was left floatiu' on the ragin', boundless
THE CORPS OF OnSERVATTOy. 31
ocean, witli the sliuimest chance for my life that ever mortal
man had since the creation of the world. I rather beat old
Noah ; and I felt it, bnt I didn't cave, for, says I to myself,
' a man who has passed throngh what you have, Ben AVilkins,
and come out safe, shouldn't never despair.'
" Well, the wind kept on frcshenin' until it came to blow a
perfect gale. I couldn't see anything, for the bung-hole was
my only window, but I knew the sea must be runnin' high
from the motion of the cask. The trouble I had is beyond
description ; but between keepin' the provisions in their places
and the bung-hole closed over when the waves rolled over the
cask, or vice versa, was a job, I tell you. Sometimes the cask
would roll clean over, and at them times I had to be mighty
spry to keep the water out and at the same time to let enough
air in ; but I was equal to the task, although I felt weak and
faint very often ; and when the storm went over, and the
sea became more calm, I set to work at gettin' somethin'
to eat. There were hams, ship-biscuit, a jar full of water, and
some dried fruits and vegetables, and so settin' down, with
the bung-hole immejiately over my head, and my provisions
between my knees, I managed to make a solid, square meal ;
and so on I lived for over a week, with nothin' happenin'
worth noticin', until one mornin' — I had fallen into a doze —
a light wind sprang up and my cask careened to one side. Of
course I was awake in a moment, and by shiftin' myself and
my provisions I righted her before any damage was done, but,
when I came to look, I had lost the plug. (Sensation on the
part of the listeners.) Whatever became of that plug I don't
know, for I could never find it. So from that time out I was
afraid to go to sleep. More days passed, — how many I can't
say, — and I was almost perishin' for sleep, and, besides, my
provisions commenced to be scarce, and I was compelled to
put myself on half rations. It wasn't until now that I com-
menced to despair. Were there no ships passin' to pick me
up, or would they if they did see my barrel ? I feared not.
Was there no land near? I couldn't see nothin' but the sky.
I was thinkin' these things over one afternoon, when the cask
gave a sudden heave, and I felt her strike bottom. * The
breakers !' I cried ; and from that moment I took heart.
Bunqi, bump, I went, strikin' the ground at every roll of the
sea, but I braced my legs against the side of the cask and kept
32 WOXTUS, OR
her level. So on it went for an hour or two, when at length
one wave, bigger and heavier than the othei"s, picked me up
and throwed the cask upon the sand."
" My, oh !" cried Mr. Nidd, skepticjdly.
"Terrible! wa.sn't it?" said Mr. Wuntus. "But go on,
Mr. Wilkins, go on."
" I felt that I was safe. But fearin' that I might be washed
back into the sea again, I doubled myself up, as I had seen
the circus actors do at Madrid, and in that way rolled my cask
over and over, until I could hear it crush in' the twigs and
grass beneath it, and then I felt that I was safe. It makes me
shudder even now, gentlemen, when 1 think over it."
" I should think so !" cried Mr. Wontus; "shouldn't you,
Nidd?"
Mr. Nidd volunteered a simple " Uh !" in reply.
" But how did you make out ? Where did you find your-
self?" asked Mr. Wontus, all interest.
" My glass, if you please," said 3Ir. Wilkins, with a bland
smile.
"Shame, shame, Nidd! 9/ou ought to have thought of it;
here Wilkins ha.sn't had a drop all this time ! Certainly, Mr.
Wilkins ; drink hearty ; your good health, sir." And Wontus
helped Wilkins and then helped himself, and both drank.
" Well," said Mr. Wilkins, after having wiped his mouth with
the back of his hand, "you see I was now in a new fix ; to
be sure there was no danger of my bein' drowned, but there I
was coopered up in the cask, as tight and as fast as if I was
so much mess-pork. I tried to break the heads and the sides,
but both were too strong for me, — want of sleep and short
rations had made me very weak, you know, — so I took to
shoutin', and shouted until I was hoarse ; but all of no avail,
for another day dawned and found me as great a prisoner as
ever Baron Trenck was. The sun rose clear and beautiful, and
the birds sang their sweetest notes among the trees which
surrounded me, but there I was. My cask lay with the bung-
hole toward the land, and I could see the green fields and all
the ether beauties of nature, but no human bein' or habita-
tion. I beat the sides of the cask with fury and shed tears of
anger. I couldn't stand it mach longer, and for the first time
in my life I was commencin' to despair, when, lo ! a drove of
cattle hove in sight. How I watched them cattle ! For a
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 33
long while I alternated between hope and fear, but at length —
I cuiild not be mistaken— they were comin' toward me. Now,
thinks I, these cattle will be attended by a human bein' with
whom I can communicate, and then I shall be liberated. I
looked again; yes, they were comin' toward me, but oh, how
slow! Gradually they approached nearer and nearer, and
then, to my great sorrow, I discovered that they were unat-
tended. Now I heard a horn blowin', such as is used in
country-places to call the workmen to meals. Heavens ! was
I to lay here, within sight and hearin' of civilization, after
passin' through what I had, and then die of starvation ? The
thought was madness to me. But I was weak and could
not break the walls that surrounded me. I was hoarse and
could not call aloud.
" By this time the cattle had come quite near me, and as
they walked past, switchin' the flies from their backs, a new
thoudit struck me. What if I could catch one of those long
tails and pull it through the bung-hole ? Happy thought !
Certainly the animal would be frightened and run, and then
there would be a chance of the cask bein' broken, and me
liberated. I resolved to adopt the plan."
" Glorious idea!" shouted Mr. Wontus, interrupting.
" No spider ever watched his fly with more interest than I
did them tails. The animals came and rubbed their noses
ao-ainst the cask, but I wanted the other end, and kept quiet,
fearin' that I might frighten them away altogether. At
length a fine large bull came up, and after takin' a calm sur-
vey°of the cask, walked leisurely along by its side and halted.
Now was the time! so with fingers ready to seize the tail
which occasionally swept past the hole, I waited. The long-
looked-for moment came at last, and catchin' hold of the end
of the tail, I quickly drew it through the hole, and in a twink-
lin' had tied a knot in that portion which I had inside. I
couldn't see what was bein' done outside, for the tail com-
pletely blocked up the hole, but directly I felt the cask move,
first gently, then fiistcr, and faster, and faster, until my head
reeled, and my bones cracked and ached like a man on the
rack. Onward the bull went, tearin' through hedge and field,
as though the devil had sent him, and sendin' up such terrific
roars a? to make the very earth tremble,— at least I should
think so. I have no recollection of how he came to stop, for
B*
34 WOXTUS, OR
I am free to confess that I fainted ; but the first thing I did
know was, that I was surrounded with people, whose voices I
could hear but whose language I could not distinguish.
Presently, light shone in at the bung-hole, and the knotted end
of the bull's tail fell into my hands. Soon after this, blows
resounded on the side of the cask, and it was broken open,
and in a few moments after, amid exclamations of great wonder,
I was lifted out more dead than alive.
" Things — brandy and water — were administered to me, and
after awhile I revived sufficient to be able to inquire where
I was. The people informed me that I was in the vicinity of
Onionville, on the coast of North Carolina, and that I had been
brought to my present location by the bull that lay dead by the
side of the cask. I looked and there hi3 did lay, sure enough.
" I could have embraced that bull, gentlemen, dead as he was,
had I been able, but I wasn't ; and as the people insisted on
knowin' who I was, and how I came to be in the cask, I related
as much of the affair as I thought proper, — for they were a
skeptical people and I was afraid to tell them the whole truth,
as I have told you, — and after receivin' the mayor and other
city authorities who had come out to see me, in fittin' and
proper style, I consented to accept the hospitality offered me,
and shoitly afterward took my place in the chariot, and pro-
ceeded to the city. Here I was waited on by the principal
citizens, who heard of my wonderful escape from death, and
in due course of time recovered my health, and was induced
to accept the pastorate of one of the principal churches of the
place. Here I remained for some three weeks, beloved by my
flock, until it came to be understood that I was a Northern
man, and then I was promised a suit of clothes made of
feathers and tar, and directed to leave. The inducement was
great, but, after a hasty consideration, I concluded to forego
the pleasure of wearin' such a suit of clothes, and one evening,
with tears of regret, I left, and here I am.
" Now, gentlemen," said Mr. Wilkins, after a pause, " ycu
know the principal points of my history, and I hope it is
satisfactory. I have only to add, that I am to be depended
on ; and while I acknowledge that self-praise is a poor recom-
mendation, yet I take the liberty of tellin' you that I think
you have, in securin' me. got the right man in the right place.
Finally, should you ever relate to any man what I have just
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION'. 35
related to you, and he should doubt it, hand him over to me,
and I'll attend to his case with care and consideration."
" My gracious !" cried Mr. Wontus, " but you are really—
yes, you are really— but there's Nidd gone to sleep. Nidd,
Nidd ! I say, come, wake up."
"Is it over?" queried Mr. Nidd, opening his eyes. On
beini^ assured that the story was entirely done, Mr. Nidd
quietly remarked that he was going home, and accordingly
started for the door sans ceremonle.
"Remember, Nidd," said Mr. Wontus, "we start for
Philadelphia at eight to-morrow morning, so look sharp !"
" All right,' ' sai'd the gentleman. And he passed out of the
door, soon to be followed by Messrs. Wilkins and Thomson, who
were, on this occasion, to lodge together.
" A wonderful man,— a treasure ; a being with a charmed
life. Just to think of it, here I am nearly double the age of
that fellow, and yet not seen anything. Never mind, my time
will come yet." And thus soliloquizing, Mr. Wontus un-
dressed, and sank into slumber, to dream that he had visited
the moon, and was to dine with the man in it on the morrow.
CHAPTER III.
STARTS THE CORPS ON ITS WINDING WAY, AND RELATES
SOME ACCIDENTS WHICH BEFELL THE TRAVELERS.
The sun had scarcely commenced tinging the eastern hori-
zon with its golden hues, when Mr. Wontus leaped from his
couch, and, consulting his watch, hastily dressed himself
Everything was in confusion about the room; trunks and
]t)oxes — some that were to go, and some that were to be left \>q-
hind — were jumbled in confusion in different parts of the
room ; and Mr. Wontus was in deep distress. He shouted
for Tommy to fetch his shaving- water ; but there was no re-
sponse from his usually punctual servant. Mr. Wontus's
anger did not have the slightest eifect on the man ; and that
very moment the servant was regaling himself with sundry
"smiles," in company with Mr. Wilkins, in the bar-room
36 T^^o.vrr.S', or
below, where they had spent the entire night drinking to the
health, wealth, and prosperity of Mr, Wontus, who they both
declared was the best man in the world, and who, by the way,
was to settle for the liquor they were drinking. The arrival
of Mr. Gascon Nidd put an end to their amusement, as it also
did to the rather forcible language of Mr. AVontus.
Both the servant and Mr. Wilkins were very drunk when
they presented themselves ; but there was no time to lose, and,
at the risk of numerous necessary articles being left behind,
both of the worthies were hustled into the express-wagon, and
were quickly followed by such baggage as had been arranged
the day previous ; Mr. Wontas and Mr. Nidd each lending
his assistance in handling the trunks and boxes. At length
the wagon rattled away from the door, and Mr. Wontus re-
turned to the bar-room to bid his landlord adieu.
AVith a final shake of the hand Mr. Wontus parted from
the generous Mr. Diddler, and the carriage, containing Mr.
Wontus and his friend, rumbled through the streets to the
ferry, where the duo which had preceded them waited.
Thus far everything had progressed rather favorably, and
Mr. Wontus and the other members of the corps had scarcely
taken their seats in the cars when the little trials and incidents
were dismissed from Mr. Wontus' s mind, and he devoted him-
self to an inspection of surrounding objects, while Mr Xidd
settled himself back in his seat and buried his flice in the
morning newspaper. Messrs. Thomson and Wilkins had taken
an end seat, and having planted their feet on the seat in front
of them, which I presume is an indication of serene independ-
ence, settled themselves to sleep.
The day was bright and pleasant, and Mr. Wontus gave
full sway to his feelings, and was heard to remark, as the cars
sped along, that " it was worth living for." Now, exactly
what Mr. Wontus considered as worth living for will perhaps
never be positively known ; but he looked so perfectly con-
tented that any one possessed with a fair share of the milk of
human kindness would have considered it cruel to disturb him.
A halt. Passengers got out and in ; among the latter a
rather corpulent lady, with a very red face, and numerous
boxes and baskets ; who, after taking a survey of the diflferent
faces, ventured to sit down by the side of 3Ir. Wontus. To
that gentleman's credit be it said, he was very gallant to
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 37
the ladies on most occasions, and on this one he not only
screwed himself up into the smallest possible proportions, but
he absolutely — whether through necessity or not I am unable
to say — took one of the baskets on his knees.
" Mr. Nidd !" cried Mr. Wontus, leaning back and talking
over his shoulder to that gentleman, who had taken a seat
behind him, " it's a long while since I passed over this road
before. Why, it was long before I quit business ; and now
everything seems strange to me. What place was that we just
passed through ? I think the conductor called it Baldeytow^n ;
but those fellows speak so indistinctly that it is impossible to
understand what they do say."
" Bordintown, sir !" shouted the corpulent lady by his side,
in tones loud and shrill enough to draw the attention of all
the passengers in the coach.
" Yes, ma'am ; thank you !" cried Mr. Wontus ; and then
turning to Nidd, he added, in a low tone :
" In the name of all that is good, don't ask any questions.
What place did she say it was ? I was so taken aback that I
could not understand."
Mr. Nidd gave him the desired information ; but whether
the corpulent lady had taken offense at what Mr. Wontus had
said, or whether she had misunderstood what he said, will
probably never be known ; but no sooner had Wontus turned
his attention to surrounding objects again than the lady com-
menced acting as though her seat had suddenly become un-
comfortable. Mr. Wontus compressed himself still smaller.
" Mister !" cried the lady, emphasizing the noun, " p'raps
my company ain't agreeable ? "
" Nothing of the kind, madam, I assure you," cried Mr.
Wontus, smiling blandly.
"Give me that!" shouted the lady. And, snatching the
basket which he had so kindly been holding on his knees for
the past two hours, wanted to know if Mr. Wontus " hadn't
come out to put on airs with poor folks."
" Madam," cried Mr. Wontus, beseechingly, " I assure you
that nothing was said by my friend or myself to offend the
most delicate ears. I would rather "
" ' Madam !' Don't madam me, you old reprobate !" inter-
rupted the lady. " I'm no ma-dam^ sir. You've made a
mistake, sir. I've seen your kind of folks before. Folks may
4
38 wo XT us, OR
talk about the 'moralizin' eifects of the war, and you look like
one of them ; and you're the first man I've seen — juan ! did
I say? No, sir, you're no man, or you would never think of
insultin' a lone woman who was tryin' to do you a favor.
You, you " The lady could stand it no longer ; her face
had become redder and redder as she progressed, and now the
veins in her forehead threatened to burst. Drawing her hand-
kerchief from her pocket, she buried her face in it.
Mr. Wontus, during the delivery of this tirade, had sat per-
fectly immovable, and was the observed of all observers. lie
looked over his shoulder at Mr. Nidd, but that gentleman was
absorbed in his newspaper ; his assistants were asleep ; there
was no sympathy anywhere. He looked out of the window,
and then quickly turning, as though a sudden thought had
occurred to him, he stood up in his seat, thrusting one foot
out toward the aisle, was about stepping past his companion,
whose face was still buried in the folds of the handkerchief,
when a sudden jolt of the car unsettled his equilibrium, and
down went the extended foot into one of the boxes of the
lady, and 3Ir. Wontus seated himself rather unceremoniously,
and with a sudden jerk, in her lap. Consternation is not the
word to depict the scene that followed. It was at once aw-
fully and woefully exciting. The coqiulent lady screamed
murder, and Mr. Wontus made frantic efforts to release him-
self from the unpleasant and rather ridiculous situation, but
, the room between Mr. Wontus's knees and the seat before
him, and the almost interminable mass of boxes and baskets
at his feet, acted as an effectual stopper to his best intentions.
He struggled ; the lady struggled and shouted ; the passengers
assembled about them. Mr. Nidd stood up in his seat and
shook his head dolefully,
" Go it, old boss !" shouted one passenger.
" You're doing right well for a man of your age," laughed
another.
" Why, the lady seems to like it," said another.
"Mr. Nidd," said Wontus, ceasing his efforts for a moment,
and looking at that gentleman with mingled rage and suppli-
cation, '-will you help me out of this, sir?"
" I'll help you out !" shouted the lady, and instantly there
fell upon Mr. Wontus's devoted head such a shower of blo-ws
as to induce him to redouble his efforts, and finally to throw
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATIOy. 39
himself, pantino; and sore,' into a vacant seat on the other side
of the car How much further progress this scene might
have made cannot be said, for the train had arrived at Camden,
and everybody, inehiding the corpulent lady, who kept up a
constant scream of invectives addressed to all brutish beasts,
but Mr Wontus in particular, busied themselves in collecting
their bagoacre and leaving the ciirs. At last Mr. Wontus and
party were all that was left. Mr. Nidd stood in the aisle look-
ino- at Mr Wontus, while Thomson and Wilkins sat upright,
rubbino- their eyes. As for Mr. Wontus, his spirit seemed to
be crushed, and he sat, with his hand to his head, gazing list-
lessly out of the window; he was wrapped in deep meditation.
" All aboard !" shouted the conductor as the ferry-boat bell
tapped for the last time.
"Come, boys," cried Mr. Nidd, "assist your master from
the cars." The boys did as they were bid, and Mr. \\ ontus
suffered himself to be led to the boat without a word. His
fellow-passengers indulged in some facetious remarks as he
passed but he was immovable, and sat looking at one object,
like the enchanted people whom I recollect to have read about
when a boy. ^ n i • i i
The Quaker City, with its row after row of brick houses,
ri'^ino- one above the other like steps, was reached, and it now
became IMr. Wilkins's duty to secure quarters for the party,
for Mr. Wontus declared that he would go no firther just
now,— perhaps never,— and he begged of Mr. Nidd never to
mention to any living person the scene that had taken place
in the cars. . .
With the party temporarily quartered on the river, in a
quarter of the town not calculated to impress any one with
the beauty or cleanliness of the place, 3Ir. Wilkins drew an
advance on his month's salary and started out in search of
other lodgings, as it had been finally decided that the party
should reraam for a time in Philadelphia.
That Mr. Wilkins should feel himself perfectly at home in
Philadelphia is not to be wondered at when we remember,
first, that he is a man of the world, and second, that his
varied experiences have given him such a familiarity with
men and things as to make him perfectly at home anywhere.
So without deionino- to ask his way, he jammed his hands into
his pockets and walked up Walnut Street to the Exchange.
40 WOXTUS, OR
Here, as was more common then than now, all was bustle and
excitement, and, after refreshing himself with numerous pota-
tions of the great naticrual drink — whisky — he sauntered out
among the car-drivers and otl>er gentry, such as generally con-
gregate about that locality. His happiness was entirely too
great for him to enjoy alone ; but, after two or three fruitless
attempts to cultivate acquaintances, he secured the company
of a gentleman of fine military bearing, who introduced him-
self over a glass, as Major Flick, of Indiana, at present on
duty in Philadelphia, as a special officer of the government
on secret service. Mr. Wilkins was delighted to make such
a distinguished acquai-ntaiK-e, — wouldn't the major be per-
suaded to take just one more. The major was persuaded ;
and then Mr. Wilkins confidentially informed him that he,
too, was on secret service, but in the employ of a private party,
and with many mj^sterious winks and nods proceeded to add
that he was now out in search of lodgings for himself and
party. With many more winks and nods from the major, that
individual said that he understood, and would be delighted to
be of service to his friend.
" You're not acquainted in the city ?" queried the major.
" Oh, yes," cried Mr. Wilkins ; and then, pausing a moment,
he added : " That is, I was here some years ago ; but I sup-
pose things have changed very much since then, major?*'
" Considerably ! Will you have a cigar, Mr. — Mr. .
What is your name ? Indeed, I've forgotten."
" Wilkins, sir, — Benjamin Wilkins, formerly of Jersey, but
now — now, major, a man of the world."
" I'm glad I've met you, Mr. Wilkins. Ill call you Ben,
if you have no objections.
"No objections in the least, major; I'm a common man
like yourself. Allow ???e to pay for them cigars."
The major allowed him.
" So your party is at Hodgood's temporarily, eh ? Well,
never mind, there will be plenty of time an hour hence for
you to look for new quarters for them. Have you ever seen
the noble old State House, where the Declaration of Inde-
pendence was framed and proclaimed, and where Jefferson
and his compeers fought the battle that has made us the gTeat
nation that we are? What a pity it is," cried the major,
after a brief pause, " that we — I mean the whole country —
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 41
haven't got tlic same kind of material in the councils of our
nation ! They — they were Southern men, Mr. Wilkins, —
Ben, I mean, — but to-day, alas ! they arc no more. I'm a
Southron myself, sir; would you believe it?"
" Certainly, major, certainly. I took your measure the mo-
ment I clapped my eyes on you. What's your tonnage?"
" Come," said the major, rising, without appearing to hear
Mr. Wilkins's query, " we will take a walk up, and have a
squint at the State House."
"Certainly!" cried Mr. "Wilkins, and arm-in-arm they
started off together.
" 'E's a rum chap that," said a burly Englishman to a com-
panion, as the gentlemen passed out of the door ; " but the
major'U fix 'im, I'll warrant. 'E's a coon, is the major !"
Turning up Third Street, and passing the newspaper offices,
which were besieged with anxious crowds, waiting to hear the
latest news from the front, and turning up Chestnut Street,
Mr. Wilkins found numerous things to admire and excite his
curiosity, and in course of conversation remarked to the major
that it wasn't so much of a village after all.
In due time the precincts of the State House were reached,
and as the major discoursed learnedly on the ancient appear-
ance of the structure, and the many deeds of glory it had
witnessed, Mr. Wilkins was filled with so much pleasure that
nothing would satisfy him but a little more — one more — in-
dulgence ; and the major consented.
[It should ifot be understood that Mr. Wilkins had missed
the opportunity of an acquaintance with the major to venti-
late some of his own little peculiarities in the wonderful line,
for he did ventilate them whenever opportunity offered ; but
as he frequently appears in the course of this narrative, we
have thought proper to merely trace him in liis travels in
search of lodgings.]
Major Flick was one of that sort of men that all cities are
possessed of. No one knew from whence he came or how he
lived. He had grown to be an institution in certain localities,
and was as regular in his habit of appearing at certain places,
at certain times, as the most attentive merchant. Early in
the morning the vicinity of Dock and Water Streets — a thriv-
ing locality for certain questionable characters of both sexes
as well as other people — saw him ere he brushed the cobwebs
4^-
42 WOXTUS, OR
from liis throat. A little later he graced the pavement in
front of the State House, where he met the men who govern
the city, and where he hobnobed, drank, and lunched with the
rulers with that ease and freedom which I learn is an inherent
right in all who assist in lubricating the cumbrous machinery
of a city government. In brief, he might be called a politi-
cian, for ife was whispered among his associates, and hence
reached the ears of the patriots who were willing to assume
the grave responsibilities and toil of public office, that he car-
ried such and such a division in his pocket, and if he had
carried a whole congressional district about him he certainly
could not have been more respected among his associates. His
clothes were of last season's fashion, and were unduly polished
in some places, but withal he was imposing. His complexion
was dark, and his regular features were surrounded by heavy,
black whiskers, which, together with his erect bearing and
particular poise of the head, gave him that peculiar air which
men are apt to fancy only belongs to military gentlemen.
That the major had ever been in the army is questionable,
but the war had given him the opportunity of making some-
thing of himself (in a manner not in the general acceptance
of the term), and hence he became major more by virtue of
his military appearance than by his prowess. It was a custom
of the times for all men, of a i)eculiar class, to make the most
of whatever fell in their way, and the major was with them
heart and soul. I may be excused for mentioning here that
fortunately these men were in a striking minority, so far as
numbers were concerned ; had it been otherwise, the flag
which they hurrahed so lustily for, when all was bright, might
have been dragged and trampled in the dust without their
stirring a foot to prevent it. But they were powerful then,
and will continue to be powerful just so long as the respecta-
ble and retiring tax-payers of the land choose to allow them
to be, — and that may be forever. But I digress.
The Hall of Independence, with its ancient pictures, or pic-
tures of ancient men, was gone through ; the old bell with its
prophetic inscription was gazed at ; and the chair and the pew
used by the immortal Washington, were all displayed to the
enraptured vision of 3Ir. Wilkins, and duly expatiated on by
the major. But the crowning feature of the day was yet to
come: the steeple was to be visited; and armed with due
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 43
authority, — it is passing strange that any man can secure a
ticket to visit the steeple by asking for it, and yet cannot visit
the steeple without it ! — the party passed up the winding,
dirty, rickety stairs, and were rewarded for their trouble, when
at the top, by a fine view of the city. Stretching far away
beyond the power of sight, with the naked eye, to the north,
west, and south, lies the city, with its regular streets, smoking
chimneys, and toy-like houses ; while on the east and south-
west run the rivers, glittering like silver threads in the sun-
light. "Not so much village," muttered Mr. Wilkins, after
contemplating the picture for a time in silence.
" Not so much," replied the major ; and the gentlemen re-
turned to terra Jirma, to again meet hosts of the major's
friends, and indulge in many toasts to their friends and ton-
fusion to their enemies. Darkness at length found Mr.
Wilkins, somewhat under the influence of liquor and still
searching for lodgings, wending his way down Dock Street,
with his hand resting on the arm of his friend, and indulging
in the relation of sundry little episodes, which made both
gentlemen laugh most uproariously. Down Dock, until that
street became^ a part of Spruce Street, the worthies wended
their way ; thence into Water Street, and thence into one of
the numerous lodging-houses, where the sign "Boarding,
Wine, and Liquors," gives the weary traveler to understand
that he can be at once lodged, fed, and refreshed. Into these
establishments, kept genemlly by men of low character, the
general drift of the river and the town found its way. They
always remind me of the eddies in the river formed by a jut-
ing of land, or other obstacle, wherein all the scum and filth
which floats on the surface of the water is caught, twirled
round and round as if on inspection, and then allowed to
float on, soon to be followed by more and more until the end
of time.
The room into which the major ushered his friend Mr.
Wilkins was cramped. The ceiling was low, and the atmos-
phere was thick with the fumes of liquor and tobacco smoke.
A hio-h counter traversed the back part of the room, behind
which were arrayed bottles, glasses, lemons, and such otlier
paraphernalia common to all bar-rooms, not to forget the pic-
ture of Noah's Ark, with the animals and birds just in the
act of entering it, flanked by the time-honored portraits of
44 WOXTUS, OR
Washington and Paul Jones. A motley assemblaire of per-
haps a dozen tilled the room. Here sat the half-drunken
sailor, with unkempt hair and disfigured countenance, flanked
on either side by the stool-pigeons of the landlord, whose
business is to see that Jack judiciously spends all his money
in a proper manner — which is highly improper in a moral
sense — in the shortest possible time, that he may be reshii)ped,
and his "advance" consumed by the loving landlord before
he shall have had the chance of becoming food for other
sharks, or been maimed for life by the master of the ship
with whom he sails, — all of which has since been altered by a
wholesome law. The longshore-man, with cadaverous eyes and
ruddy complexion, sits opposite, rising only from his chair at
regular intervals to quaft' the villainous mixture set before him,
and for which be pays with the proceeds of sundry ropes and
bits of ironmongery which a vessel had lost the night before,
and which found its way to the junk-shop ere the sun was au
hour high.
Woman lends her soothing influence and presence, and the
haggard faces, sunkeai eyes, and colorless lips speak of a life
of debauchery and crime.
The landlord, an Englishman of rotund form, dark com-
plexion, close-crjDpped hair, and lustreless, fishy eyes, stands
leaning on the bar, and watches with the keenest interest the
proceedings of the assemblage before him, lest at some unpro-
pitious moment there shall be a moiety of the hard-earned cash
of his customers that will slip into other hands than his. All,
all is his !
x\.s the major and his friend stepped into the room, and the
landlord caught sight of the rather genteel-looking Mr. Wilkins,
his fishy eyes brightened and his lips parted.
" (rood-even', major ; I'm glad to set e3'es on you. Ah ! —
a friend?"
"Good-evening, Tommy, my boy!" returned the major,
grasping the fat, purple hand of the landlord, and shaking it
vigorously. " My friend, Mr. Wilkins."
" I'm glad to see you, sir." And then followed a hearty hand-
shaking between Mr. Wilkins and the landlord, and sundry
knowing winks between the latter and the major, after which
the landlord passed behind the counter, and with a business-
like flourish set out the glasses.
THE CORPS OF OnSEIiVATIOX. 45
"What will it be, gents?*'
The query was lost on Mr. Wilkins, for with his chin on
his breast and that stupid gaze peculiar to a person in a state
of semi-intoxication, that gentleman was taking a survey of
the premises and the people, as became a man of the world.
The question was repeated, and aided by a nudge from his com-
panion, ]Mr. Wilkins at length swung around and pronounced
the word " w — hisky !"
" The same," said the major. " Perhaps you'll join us ?"
this was addressed to the landlord.
" Hi never drink in my own 'ouse," replied that most virtu-
ous gentleman ; and then added, in a w^hisper, intended only for
the major's ear, " Fresh fish ?"
" Secret service," whispered the major; and seeing that Mr.
Wilkins was again interested in the company, he added : " Full
of cash ?"
" No tricks, major ; it won't do 'ere, you know."
Mr. Wilkins drew a chair to the side of one of the ladies and
entered into a vivid description of his experience as a man of
the world and the responsibilities of his present mysterious
duty.
" What's 'is lay?" asked the host.
"Sh ," whispered the major; "that's what I want to
find out." And then a conversation ensued betw^een the major
and the landlord, which plainly indicated that the English gen-
tleman was interested in the recruiting business, and that an
efi"ort should be made to hold Mr. Wilkins over until the next
morning, and, if satisfactory, Mr. Wilkins should enlist in one
of the many offices then open for that purpose, and the bounty
due him should be shared between the agents. [At this time
the bounties, both national and local, were small, and the biisi-
Qiess of manufacturing recruits had not arrived at that condition
of perfection which followed at a later day, although fairly un-
derstood and practiced by a few of the vampires who preyed
upon the unsuspecting public]
Mr. Wilkins, encouraged by the smiles and graces of his fair
companion, had slid gracefully from the historic to the senti-
mental ; his hand had stolen around her waist, and his lips
were alarmingly close to her damask cheek ; w^ords of love and
fidelity poured from his lips like the limpid water of a gushing
streamlet. His fortunes should be hers ; his boundless estates
46 wo XT US, OR
in the Raratonga Islands should be hers if she would fly with
him. She smiled and returned evasive answers to his heated
questions. He became vehement, and, at a moment most un-
fortunate, threw his disengaged hand around her neck, and,
drawing her toward him, imprinted a kiss upon her lips which
Sounded like the crack of a whip-h^sh. At this juncture the
landlord, who had been watching the scene with eyes glowing
like living coals, and whose bosom was evidently filled with a
deep-seated and overpowering jealousy, advanced with hasty
strides to the side of Mr. Wilkins, and, with one tremendous
blow, felled that gentleman to the floor like an ox struck by
the axe of a butcher.
" Murder!" shouted the major, without disturbing his atti-
tude at the counter. •' Murder!" screamed the ladies. '-Mur-
der !" shouted the landlord, throwing open the door and giving
]Mr. WilkiiLs's prostrate form a sounding kick as he did so.
'• Fight ! fight !" shouted the rabble in the street, and every-
body seemed highly amused at the prospect. "What int^Jit have
occurred is simply a matter of conjecture, for three vigilant
guardians of the public peace soon made their appearance on
the scene, and. after the landlord had explained how Mr. Wil-
kins had ferociously tried to murder one of the beautiful young
ladies, which assertion was backed up by a chorus of voices,
including Major Flick's, and how he had only been prevented
from fulfilling his blood-thirsty intentions by the timely inter-
ference of the landlord, the prostrate and senseless form of ]Mr.
Wilkins was dragged from the house and thence to the police
station, where it was thrust into a cell, to await the charge
which would be sworn to before the police magistrate by the
landlord at the hearing in the morning.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 47
CHAPTER IV.
DETAILS now AN AMBITIOUS MAN MAY PERMIT niS AMBI-
TION TO LEAD IIIM INTO GREAT AND UNLOOKICD-FOR
DIFFICULTIES.
Mr. Wontus had recovered his accustomed good spirits,
and after being tired with inspecting the shipping on the river,
suggested that he and Nidd should proceed to see some of the
sights of the city. Mr. Nidd being in an agreeable mood,
accepted the suggestion, and after dinner — they dined at one
o'clock — the gentlemen set out, leaving Thomas Thomson to
await the arrival of jNlr. Wilkins. But it is not my intention
to follow our hero, but to devote a few pages to no greater
person than Thom is Thomson.
The refreshing sleep which Tommy had enjoyed in the cars,
together with the newness of his situation, naturally created
in his rather inquiring disposition a desire to see more than
could be found in the limits of a hotel sitting-room, and Mr.
Wontus' s coat-tail had scarcely vanished from the doorway
when Mr. Thomson stretched himself and walked to the win-
dow. Here he gazed for a long time at the wagons, drays, and
crowds of busy people who kept passing him ; presently he
buttoned his coat and crammed his hands to the very bottom
of his pantaloons pockets. Evidently there was something on
his mind. He drew his hands from his pockets and raised the
window and looked up and down the street ; he drew his head
in and shut the window down ; then he balanced himself, first
on one foot, then on the other. This he repeated many times,
and then finally spreading his legs out so that they formed the
letter V inverted, he again thrust his hands into his pockets
and stood gazing into the street.
"Harm?" said he, speaking to himself, "of course there
ain't no harm in it. Why, I won't stay two minutes." And he
collected his feet together and walked out to the sidewalk.
Here he stood for some time as if in doubt. He gazed up and
down, when suddenly something down the street attracted his
48 WOXTCS, OR
attention and he followed his desires, and did not cease walk-
ing until he had reached the oyster dock, a square from the
hotel.
Be it remembered that Thomas Thomson was a most loving
and faithful subject, although his mind was a little clouded at
times, and that in all his term of years in the sen'ice of Mr.
Wontus he had been most obedient, honest, and faithful. To
be sure, Mr. Wontus's wants were not so extravagant or so
fashionable but that a plain, unlettered man like Thomas
Thomson suited him, and for his fidelity Mr. Wontus had at
different times rewarded him, besides giving him very fair
wages. Mr. Thomson was, to the best of his own knowledge
and belief, an orphan ; and as his wants were few and easily
satisfied, he had managed to stow away his money from time
to time, until now he considered himself a man of almost
boundless wealth, and a part of this wealth, consisting of some
two hundred dollars, he had brought with him, more for Mr.
Wontus's use than for his own, for he frequently said to him-
self, " Maybe he'll get out some time, and then Til make him
open his eyes by offerin' to lend him some." That he might
not appear poor when in company, he generally carried some
money about him, and at the time of his wandering along the
oyster docks he had in his pockets four five-dollar notes, a two-
dollar note, and some small change, amounting in all to about
twenty-three dollars.
The scene was new to him, and he watched the oyster deal-
ers and the people who came to buy with great interest. He
looked at the shallops, as they rolled and dipped with each suc-
cessive wave ; and, as he had never been on a boat of this kind
in his life, he stepped aboard of one of them, and permitted
himself to enjoy the easy, swaying motion. Crowds of men
were passing from vessel to vessel, engaged in showing their
oysters to customers, and when tired of holding part of the rig-
ging to keep himself from falling into the water, Mr. Thomson
fell into a passing bevy of gentlemen, who appeared to be in a
high good humor, and followed them to the wharf. Once
ashore, he became more confident than he had been while on
the vessel, and without knowing, or, in fact, caring, he followed
the gentlemen into a neighboring saloon, and while there en-
gaged in inspecting the pictures on the walls, he was invited
and pressed to take something. It was a new thing for Mr.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 49
Thomson to be asked to imbibe by a stranger, and he felt highly
elated and complimented. He felt as though something was
expected of him, and placing his hat, which was new, on
the side of his head, he thanked the gentlemen, and drank his
liquor with as much gusto as the best of them.
He had long desired to be one of those free-and-easy fellows
wdio pass as gentlemen, and it now occurred to him that here
was an opportunity to distinguish himself; and, forgetting for
the time that such a being as Mr. Wontus ever lived, he cMtered
into a conversation with the man behind the bar for a few min-
utes, and ended that conversation by insisting that all the gentle-
men should join him. The company was of that convivial
character which one often finds in places where he is least ex-
pecting it, and the gentlemen were all watermen, in one way
or other, and possessed to a considerable extent that sociability
and, I may add, capacity for which this class is celebrated
throughout the wide world. The man behind the bar vouch-
safed the information that the gentlemen had just completed
a fine bargain in the sale of a certain steamboat, and were
jolly good fellows. Mr. Thomson was delightedj and, with
spirits somewhat elevated, he again insisted on the gentlemen
joining him in a "sociable." And they did, each raising his
glass and drinking the good health of iMr. Thomson.
" My name is Birkill," said one of the gentlemen, stepping
up and extending his hand. " Excuse me, sir, but I didn't
hear yours."
Mr. Thomson took the extended hand in his. The gentle-
men shook hands and were acquainted.
Mr. Birkill was a man measuring, say about five feet seven in
height, and would weigh in the neighborhood of a hundred
and fifty pounds, certainly nothing under. He had a round
head, probably as broad as it was long, and his complexion was
inclined to be light, though exposure to the weather had bronzed
it. His fiice w^as as round as his head, and his features cor-
responded with everything else about him : they were mod-
erately prominent, and were well displayed by the close cropping
of his hair. His eyes were of a grayish cast, surface-like, but
twinkling, and his manner was such that a close observer W(juld
be apt to put him down a man of wonderful aptitude in what-
ever direction he chose to throw his energy. In conversation he
was rather more inquiring than communicative j he never made a
c 5
50 wax res, on
flat denial of anything, yet there was a doc:ree of cynicism about
him that always assumed an amusincr pha.se, whether'in earnest
or in jest ; in a word, he belonued to that class of men who,
while they impress us with their manners, invariably leave
doubts in our mind as to their sincerity.
'• Jones," cried Mr. Birkill, " an old friend." And Mr.
Thomson was introduced to Mr. Jones. " Smith, Brown,
Ciip'n Iluskins, Walker, Magdus, Lorton," continued Mr.
Birkill, introducing the different gentlemen. " Lamber,
IMcMinigan, Outslager — damn it, gentlemen, this is Mr.
Thomson, introduce yourselves." And the different gentle-
men of the party, to the number of a dozen, stepped up and
shook hands with Thomas Thomson, for they were in a merry
mood, and would have shaken hands with a wooden tobacco
sign had one been presented. The party became thoroughly
homogeneous ere long, and the liquor was poured frequently ;
they were jolly to a man, and Mr. Thomson was so far in his
cups as not to care, even if he did remember that .Mr. Wontua
would be looking for him. To his credit be it said, that he
intended to return to the hotel, but somehow or another every
time he set about doing so an invisible and irresistible hand
took hold of his coat-tail and pulled him back.
I have never known exactly how " merry a marriage-bell "
was, but since it has become the stereotyped phrase in all de-
scriptions of gatherings, I may be excused for following the ex-
ample of other writers and saying that everything went along
"As merry as a marriage-bell."'
Still Thomas Thomson lingered. He was treated with dis-
tinguished consideration and many of his remarks loudly ap-
plauded by the company, led by Mr. Birkill. He had been a
witness to many amusing times like the present, he said, but
he never knew that there was so much real pleasure about
them. Mr. Magdus assured him that this was an excep-
tionable time, — that the company were all perfect gentlemen,
and it was probable that the same thing would never happen
again. The landlord spread a lunch in an adjoining room, and
the gentlemen were invited in. As they entered the door
Captain Huskins. a man of large size and herculean form, stood
in the doorway and compelled each to take off his hat and bow
to the picture of Washington. All were seated at the board,
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 51
the hats deposited on a little table which stood in the corner.
They ate, drank, and sang patriotic songs, and Mr. Thomson
became easier in his manner as the affair progressed. He
already felt that he was a gentleman.
'' Tum-diddle tnm, diddlc-dum-dum-dum !" shouted Mr.
Birkill, arising from his chair, seizing a hat, and marching
around the room in military style. " Trat-de-tat-de-tat-tat-
ta !" shouted Mr. Smith, following suit, and marching into the
bar-room. Captain Huskins now arose, and taking his well-
worn hat from the pile on the table, cut the rim so as to leave
a visor in front. " That's the style !" shouted the captain,
and striking his rather well-developed stomach vigorous blows
in imitation of the artist who performs on that most melodious
instrument, the bass drum, he became a member of the mili-
tary corps of Mr. Birkill.
The captain's hat excited a new interest ; it had a unique,
semi-military appearance, and was just the style for the oc-
casion. Brooms and sticks were added, and soon the entire
company was adorned with hats like the captain's. There
was no respect paid to right or justice in the selection of the
hats, but each gentleman seized the first one that came to hand ;
new and old, large and small, found customers, and not with
any regard to the " eternal fitness of things" either. Thus
Mr. Birkill, whose head was round, wore a hat that was long
and narrow, while Mr. McMinigan, whose head was very small,
wore a hat intended for a man wdth a very large head.
Thomas Thomson was not so drunk but that he thought of
his new tile, but it was bereft of its rim and perched on Mr.
Jones's head. There was a hat left, and Thomson, believing
that it was his bounden duty, took it and joined the procession,
most of which was composed of musicians, and everybody in a
high good humor. But it was suddenly discovered that there
wasn't room enough in the house, and wdth draw^n sword.
Captain Huskins formed the troops into line and addressed
them:
" This here time," said the captain, " is beared down with
monstrous interests, which must and shall be kept up. [Cheers. J
Me noble warriors, your looks speak your determination [loud
applause] to follow me [cries of "We'll elect you !" and ap-
plause] and never desert your — your liquor. [Sensation.] You
are here — I see it in your eyes — straighten up there, Smith — •
52 WOXTUS, OR
and I tell you — I tell you — yes, gentlemen [applause], I tell
you "
The captain was evidently in want of words.
" Let the band play !" cried Birkill, relieving the captain,
and instantly the trat-de-tat, tum-diddle-de-dum, and other
sounds, intended for imitations of various musical instruments,
sounded from all the voices, and most effectually put a stop to
further remarks from the captain.
'' Right face !" commanded the captain, " forward — march !"
and the party stepped off in true military style, with the line
a little zigzag.
'- Here, this here way," cried the captain, as the head of
the line reached the bar. " Xo chargin' till the word's give."
And the line faced about and marched down the room again.
Mr. Thomson thought the fun was grand, and he laughed im-
moderately.
" To the right flank there !" commanded the captain, whose
knowledge of military tactics and evolutions was rather limited.
" Now, square around. Here, you Smith, get back ; throw
your eyes to the right and dress. A little back, Mr. Thomson,
if you please. Now then, me braves, before you lies the foe ;
we conquer to-night, or to-morrow Mrs. Huskins' a widow —
charge !" With a shout the line rushed forward ; the bar was
stormed and capitulated unconditionally.
" Faces aft !" cried the captain, as the gentlemen deposited
their glasses after emptying them of their contents. " Port
there a little, Birkill, — blarst your soldier lingo, I can't go it.
Now then, march ! — this way. gentlemen," and the party poured
forth into the street. Down the avenue the motley platoon
marched. South Street was reached ; " Larboard !" cried the
captain, adding: "I've run a steamboat for twenty 3'eai-s, —
blarst me if it" ain't the only talk that tells after all." The
platoon filed to the left and marched on board the ferry-boat,
and without accident were conveyed to Gloucester, where the
party disembarked, and, in battle array, marched through the
town, to the great wonder of some and amusement of others.
[As the readei"s of these pages may be inclined to think
that some portions of this narrative are overdrawn, and hence
false, we desire to add our testimony to the truth of everything
herein contained. Who the historian of the '' Wontus Corps
of Observation" was we are unable to say ; but a patient pe-
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 53
rusal of the MSS. which have passed into our hands leads us
to the beUef that he has endeavored to be as fair as he is truth-
ful, and that the scenes and men which he speaks of — or men
and scenes like them — have come under the observation of most
men who dwell in cities, and who move about, observe, and
note the incidents of the day. — Pub.]
" Halt !" commanded Captain Huskins, himself unable to
execute the command without the assistance of a friehdly fence-
post. " Luff there a little, Outslager. Now, boys, here's the
enemy." And as he spoke, he pointed with his sword to a
neighborino- house, which had painted, in red, white, and blue
letters, on the window,
TiiE^'^Ea'-^trAvEIj^ rEs/
" And now, gents, do your duty."
The captain evidently did not lack the courage to lead his
men, for he made divers efforts to start, but the fence-post
clung to him so tenaciously that he was finally compelled to
throw himself at full length on the ground. The captain down,
the military line at once became a mass.
'' To the rescue !" shouted Mr. Birkill.
No attention was paid to the order, until Mr. Thomas Thom-
son made his appearance in the front rank and offered his
assistance in raising the captain.
"Certainly, certainly, Mr, Thomson, — without the 'p', I
believe, sir, — I am glad you're come to the rescue of our be-
loved commander. Lift him up ; convey him to yonder friendly
shelter, and you shall receive a handsome reward — in heaven."
Mr. Thomson's will was strong, but his joints were weak ; and
the more he undertook to lift the captain up, the more he fell
down himself Exhausted, he at length stretched himself by
the side of his commander, and vowed he would stay there.
Such fidelity is rare, and the observing Birkill, who during the
time that the private was endeavoring to raise his captain was
sobering the men up by a vigorous course of tactics, noticed
the condition of affairs, demanded the assistance of the company
in conveying the wounded to the " Weary Traveler's liest,"
" You shall be promoted," he whispered to Thomas, as he as-
sisted in putting that personage on his feet.
" The Weary Traveler's Rest" had been duly invested by the
6*
54 W ox TVS, OB
party, who, after partaking of the planked shad, for wliich the
town has been celebrated, paid their reckoning, and wore pre-
pared to vacate the place, when, upon vote, it was agreed that
thej should pay their respects to the establishment of a gentle-
man whose tent stood on the street leading to the ferry, and
who had on exhibition a fat woman, a thin man, an anaconda,
a goat with five legs, and sundry other curiosities ; all of which
could be seen for the small sum of ten cents. The resolution
passed, the party started, under the command of 3Ir. Birkill,
who took the place of Captain Huskins, by reason of that gen-
tleman's declination to serve in that capacity, and who exalted
Mr.Thomson by promoting him to sergeant, and presenting him
with a lockless musket.
" Forward — march !" cried the new captain. And, with the
usual rat-tat-tat, the party moved off, Thomas Thomson leiiding,
his hat ornamented with a plume, and his musket by his side.
*' File right !" And the showman's tent was reached.
" Captain," said Mr. Birkill, halting his command, and
saluting the showman in true military style, '*' we wish to enter
this show."
'''Ten cents apiece, gents. The greatest living curiosities,
secured at an enormous expense "
" Hold up !" interrupted Mr. Birkill, " we want in !"
" Ten cents, gents !"
" Couldn't you lump it an' make it fifty for the lot ? Wery
interestin' crowd, you see."
" Ten cents, sir ; it ought to be twenty-five. No such
curiosities to be seen anywhere else "
" Hold up !" cried Mr. Birkill, again interrupting. " Can't
you be persuaded?"
"No, sir."
" Ain't there no inducements we could offer except payin'
the price ?"
" No, sir."
" You won't lump it and let us in for half price, bein' it's
a crowd ?"
" Can't do it, gents." And the showman went on expatiating
on the beauties of his curiosities.
" Face around here, fellers," said Mr. Birkill. And the line
spread itself out before him, in all the magnitude it could
muster.
TBE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 55
" Eum'ns, feller-citizens, and me braves," said he, tragically,
" I'm agoin' to address you. I'm your iMark Antony ; but
it's not for the likes of me to excite your passions ; more better
should I counsel peace, which I do." Hear me for our siike,
that you who do hear may come to the right understandin'^ of
this here grievous wrong which has been done you'ns. This
here man is your Brutus ; and he's an hon'rable man, as hon'-
rable men goes in these here times ; but I would put to him
a question." Mr. Birkill assumed a still more tragic attitude,
and, turning to the showman, said :
" Can these here gentlemen, all rum'ns, go into this here
show, or not ?"
" I have already answered that question, sir."
" Then they can't go in ?"
" Not without paying the admittance fee."
Turning to his men, Mr. Birkill continued :
" Eum'ns and feller-citizens : I want to know if it's accordin'
to the dignity of an American citizen to not go into this here
show? [Cries of " No ! no !"] Then foller me !" And brandish-
ing his stick in the air, he marched to the entrance, which the
showman immediately threw aside, and in the most matter-of-
fact way imaginable, said :
" Walk in, gentlemen ! walk right in !"
Trat-de-tat, trat-de-tat, trat-de-tat, trat-tat-tat ! and the platoon
marched in, with colors flying and band playing.
Once inside, Thomas Thomson left the ranks, and diligently
inspected the curiosities. He had the snakes stirred up by
the keeper of the den, and he made the thin man walk before
him in review. He pinched the fat woman's arms, and won-
dered if it was real flesh. He conversed with her, and spoke
feelingly of a young lady whose image he declared she resem-
bled. He wished her joy, and, notwithstanding the incoher-
ence of his remarks, would probably have made love to the lady
had it not suddenly occurred to him that he was alone, — that
his friends had left him. He left the fat lady quickly and
unceremoniously, and proceeded to the ferry, arriving just m
time to see the boat containing his companions rounding out
of the slip. There was nothing to do but wait for the next boat,
so he solaced himself at a ntaghboring tavern, and when the
next boat left for Philadelphia, it had for a part of its precious
frei"ht a drunken man, and his name was Thomas Thomson.
56 W ox TVS, OR
From the time that ^Ir. Thomson took the boat at Glouces-
ter until he awoke some time in the nii:ht, very thirsty, in the
police station, all was blank and confused, and as he sat and
listened to the drunken ravings of those around him, he ac-
cused himself of being a fool instead of a gentleman, and vowed
that he'd do so never again.
CHAPTER V.
DILATES OX THE BEAUTIES OF MODERN IMPROVEMENTS,
INTRODUCES A NEW CHARACTER, AND RESTORES TWO
UNFORTUNATES TO THEIR FRIENDS.
GrASCON XiDD and Mr. Wontus strolled leisurely along the
river until reaching Market Street, then turned up to Third.
" How very happy these people should be !" said Mr. Wontus,
looking about him.
'' Why ?'' questioned Mr. Nidd.
" Look at their delightful railroads ; see, every street is
traversed with them. I suppose these companies pay the
people very handsomely for the use of their streets?"
" Guess not."
" Guess not ? Why, Nidd, certainly when citizens give up
their highways — the streets which they have paid for — to cor-
porations, they ought to be well paid for it."
" Mr. Wontus," said Xidd, laying his hand on his friend's
shoulder. " 3'ou are a very innocent man."
Mr. Wontus looked amazed.
" Don't you know," said Nidd, continuing, " that all cities
are governed the same as New York, — except not quite so bad,
— and that the corporations are all politicians, and that politi-
cians are all corporations ; they own everything."
Mr. Wontus looked incredulous.
" Yes, sir, we have the reputation of being a free people
here, but I tell you there is no people in the world so shame-
fully treated, and more tyrannized over than we are. We
vote for whom we please, but what difference does that make ?
The whole affair has been arranged beforehand by one party
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 57
or the other, and whichever side wins, the men who pay the
taxes are the only ones to suffer, and so the world has always
been, and I presume ever will be."
Mr. Nidd having delivered himself of this rather extraor-
dinary homily, took his hand from Mr. Wontus's shoulder,
and that gentleman said, "Shameful!" and they continued
their walk.
Soldiers incipient, and soldiers mature, were prevalent
everywhere, and Mr. Wontus spoke of them as noble fellows,
and hoped they would all live to come back and enjoy the
fruits of their labor and hardship. Sight-seeing was post-
poned until a more favorable time, for Mr. Wontus confessed
that his little affair with the ruddy-faced, corpulent lady in
the cars had somewhat unmanned him, and he desired rest.
It was near tea-time, however, when Mr. Nidd walked into
the hotel, with Mr. Wontus close behind him, and inquired
for Thomas Thomson.
"Out?" said Mr. Nidd.
" Out ?" echoed Mr. Wontus. " Pray how long has he been
out, sir?"
The clerk consulted the clock carefully, as all hotel clerks
do under similar circumstances. " At least three hours."
" Zounds !" cried Mr. Wontus, in astonishment, " then our
baggage is gone."
The clerk assured him that it was safe in the baggage-room.
Mr. Wontus's face assumed a more placid expression.
"And Wilkins, — Mr. Wilkins ?" said Mr. Nidd, inquiringly.
" Not returned yet."
" Uh !" grunted Mr. Wontus.
" Hasn't found a satisfactory place yet," said Mr. Nidd,
turning to Mr. Wontus. " Careful man, — highly recom-
mended by "
" But Tommy !" interrupted Mr. Wontus ; " he'll be lost."
"Streets very plain and straight," suggested the clerk,
smiling blandly. " Will the gents have tea?"
" Of course," said Mr. Wontus.
" Certainly," said Mr. Nidd. And the gentlemen walked
into the di«ing-room, and were discussing the probabilities of
the whereabouts of Messrs. Wilkins and Thomson.
" Are you sure your man Wilkins is the right sort of a
man?" asked Mr. Wontus, as he sipped his tea.
c* '
58 wo XT us, OR
" He's not my man," cried Mr. XiJd, wiping his mouth.
" Why, yes he is," insisted Mr. Wuutus.
"Certainly he isn't!"
" You hired him."
" I secured him for yow. He's the kind of man you wanted.
Tou recollect his story of himself?"
"Yes, yes," said Mr. Wontus, reflectively; "but you, Mr.
Nidd, ought to have known ''
" The gentleman waits outside," said a servant, handing
Mr. Wontus a card.
Wontus took the card, and adjusting his glasses, read :
" Edward Pason Montcalmb Higginsox — Scrihendi'''
Mr. Wontus looked at the card a long while in silence. " I
don't know him, — at lea.st I dont recollect him," said he, and
he handed the card to Mr. Nidd.
"Scribendi?" said Mr. Nidd, thoughtfully. "Don't know
him ! ' And handing the card back, he went on with his eating.
" Fine name," said Mr. Wontus, again reading the card
thoughtfully. " Old family I expect ; I've often heard of
these old Philadelphia families, — great place for blood. My
compliments to the gentleman," said he, aloud, "ask him to
be kind enough to wait a few moments." Mr. Wontus de-
posited the card in his vest-pocket, and casting a look about
him which seemed to say, " I did that very well," he sipped
his tea in silence.
Tea concluded, Mr. Wontus ran his fingers through his
hair, pulled down his waistcoat, and left the room followed by
Mr. Nidd. On entering the office an inquiring glance was
cast at the clerk, who in turn cast an inquiring glance at the
clock and said : " Not yet, sir !" the supposition being that
Mr. Wontus had inquired concerning the looked-for arrival
of Tommy and Mr. Wilkins.
Edward Pason Montcalmb Higginson was a gentleman of
medium height, light complexion, and light chestnut hair, which
he brushed very slick over his forehead. His features were
well cut, and his form sinewy and compact. He had a gray-
ish-blue eye, which appeared to be perfectly under its owner's
control and which spoke defiance, anger, or sorrow at his bid-
ding. A large and luxuriant moustache graced his upper lip,
and lent a rather distingue appearance to his mouth. His
manner was easy, though at times a little forced and con-
THE CORPS OF OnSERVATIOX. 59
strained ; and having cultivated a supreme love for association
with the best society, he not only believed it necessary, but
wherever opportunity offered made use of the most glowiivj;
language, which he delivered in a studied, impressive style.
Such a person stepped up to Mr. Wontus as he entered the
gentlemen's sitting-room, and remarked :
" Mr. Wontus, if I am not mistaken, sir ?"
" At your service, sir," said Mr. Wontus, bowing. " ^Ir.
Higginson, I presume, sir?"
" Your obedient servant." And Mr. Higginson bowed very
low.
" ^Ir. Nidd, sir, one of our party. Mr. Nidd, Mr. Higgin-
son."
" Delighted to meet you, sir," said Mr. Higginson, bowing
very low again; "of New York, I presume" (turning to Mr.
Wontus). " What a strong likeness to Sherman, who I predict
is destined to be one of our great leaders ! Mr. Nidd, pardon
me, sir, but your name is familiar ; let me see. Yes, I am
sure I've heard your name ; perhaps some member of your
family — but excuse me, gentlemen ; I had almost forgotten.
It was by the merest accident in the world that I learned of
your distinguished presence in the city. Was here to meet a
friend from your delightful city. Heard from a gentleman
who was on the train that you were here. Always too happy
to be of service to strangers visiting our city. Consider me at
your service. Y'"ou propose staying with us awhile, I hope.
Much to see of interest, I assure you."
Mr. Wontus turned to Nidd and whispered: "Some mis-
take."
" Evidently," whispered Nidd.
" Not at all, gentlemen," cried the voluble Higginson, who
had overheard the remarks. "Not at all, gentlemen. Y'our
secret is safe with me (and he winked knowingly). I can
well understand your desire to be incog. Momentous time !
very, indeed. Men intrusted with important governmental
business cannot be too careful." (Mr. AVontus and Mr. Nidd
exchanged glances.) " Only men of sterling integrity and great
qualifications would be chosen, I know. One moment, gentle-
men." And jMr. Higginson dashed out of the room to return in
a moment and inform Mr. Wontus that the train had come in,
and it would be necessary for him to tear himself away. Would
60 WOXTUS, OR
they pardon his intrusion ? They would. Would they call
upon him and take a glass of old wine before they left town?
They would. "Would they pardon him for calling on them
again to-morrow ? They would be pleased to see him. He
shook them by the hand heartily, and was gone like a flash.
" Strange," said Nidd.
" Veri/ strange," said Mr. Wontus.
" For whom, and what in the devil does he take us ? Per-
haps Wilkins has been talking."
" Perhaps," said Mr. Wontus. And both gentlemen settled
back in their chairs and into silence at the same time.
The hour of ten at length tolled from the old State-House
bell, and lingered on the quiet air. '• Eight, nine, ten ; yes,
ten o'clock," said Wontus, counting the strokes and consulting
his watch.
" Poor boys! perhaps they have found a watery grave."
" No danger," growled Nidd, without looking up.
'• Perhaps they have ventured on the river," said "Wontus,
reflectively.
" People who are born to be hung will never be drowned,"
growled Mr. Nidd, rising. "I'm going to bed." and without
further ado he marched out and asked to be shown to his room.
Mr. Wontus sat in a thoughtful mood for a long while, but
the dreamy god claimed him for his own, and he concluded to
go to bed. although sorely worried at the protracted absence
of his people.
The following morning the two gentlemen were up by times,
and were smoking their after-breakfast cigars, when Mr. Ed-
ward Pason Montcalmb Higginson again presented himself.
" Ah !" cried Mr. Wontus. " have you seen Thomas or
Wilkins ? — pardon me, Mr. Higginson, but these men have
worried me so that I forgot that you were not acquainted with
them. '
'' I will, freely, — don't mention it, sir. I know what it is to
be looking for people with whom one has urgent business, — it
impresses itself on one's mind so terribly. Just the other day
I had an engagement of importance with the Hon. Mr. High-
strung, — you know him? Splendid, genial, high-toned soul, I
assure you ; and do you know that I was so worried by the
pressure on my brain that I really asked General ]McDabb — he
of the lion-heart — if he had seen him, when really the general
THE COUPS OF OBSERVATION. 61
doesn't know him at all. ITa ! ha ! it was really laughable. Do
you know the general ? As brave a man and as gallant a sol-
dier as ever drew a sword. He dined with me yesterday, in
company with the Hon. Judge Nabem, — the judge is a distant
relation of mine, and a capital fellow at table, I assure you."
Mr. \Yontus and Mr. Nidd both said that they had no
acquaintance with the gentleman.
"I'm sure you would be perfectly delighted with the gen-
eral, — destined to command the army, and occupy a high place
in the councils of the nation ; and he deserves it."
" Scribendi !" said Mr. Nidd.
Mr. Edward Pason Montcalmb Higginson looked at Mr. Nidd,
when that gentleman apologetically asked him why he placed
that word on his card.
" Oh, yes, gentlemen ; I ought to have explained before.
Well, you see, while I am not exactly a paid contributor to any
of our daily newspapers, yet, you see, as the adage has it,
' knowledge is power,' and I occasionally contribute matter a
trifle deeper and more varied than the editors are accustomed
to handle, and my intercourse with the most prominent men
of the country gives me an opportunity to speak by the card
about the events of the day. Besides this," continued Mr.
Higginson, after a brief pause, " these newspaper fellows are
generally a clever set of fellows, — that is, in their places, — and
I occasionally assist them when I feel that they are unable to
assist themselves ; hence I placed the word on the card which
I sent into you yesterday."
Mr. Nidd drew a long breath and walked to the clerk's desk.
That gentleman looked up at the clock, and said : " Not yet,
sir." And Mr. Nidd walked back again and said to Mr. Won-
tus: "Not yet."
" Very strange," said Mr. Wontus.
" Did you notice the little address I made last evening ?"
asked Mr. Higginson.
]Mr. Wontus answered in the negative, — he had not had the
pleasure.
" In these times one must do all he can to give the govern-
ment the support which it needs. It's rather a pleasing posi-
tion for me, although I cannot agree with the Hon. Secretary
of War that the Virginia campaign should be conducted on the
basis he proposes. You see — but then I presume you know
62 WOXTUS, OR
quite as mucli as I do. Ifideed, gentlemen, I would be glad
to have you take a glass of wine with me to-day. But my
address last evening (producing a paper from his coat-tuil
pocket) I had almost forgotten. I really feel ashamed, the
reporter has so very highly praised me ; but then, you know,
there is no way of stopping them if they take a ftincy to you."
And Mr. Higginson laid the paper on the table and turned
away. Of course Mr. Wontus looked at the paper. Mr. Hig-
ginson knew he would when he laid it down. After a brief
perusal, Mr. Wontus pronounced the whole affair as capital.
[Note. — Be it known that Mr. Higginson had written the
speech and the flattering preface himself, and worried one of
the reporters with numerous invitations to dine and wine with
him, until he secured it a place in the columns of the Morning
Flash.']
" I hope you may be successful," said Mr. Higginson, turn-
ing to Mr. Nidd.
'^ I hope so," replied Mr. Nidd.
" But is it so very secret?"
"Pretty secret."
" Perhaps I'm mistaken, but I have understood "
" What have you understood?" cried Mr. Nidd, internipting.
" That you were secret officers of the government on impor-
tant business connected Avith the Treasur3\"
Mr. Nidd laughed heartily as he repeated the conversation
to Mr. AVontus, who had been deeply interested in the j^aper,
and ]\Ir. Higginson looked astonished and angry.
"Why, dash it, old fellow," cried Mr. Nidd, "it is all a
mistake. My friend here is a retired soap-boiler, and I am a
poor conveyancer ; we are traveling for our own pleasure, and
at oui* own expense."
Mr. Higgiusou's manner changed at once.
" Then you are not officers of the government ?"
" No."
"' Nor on secret business ?"
" No."
" Soap-boiler and conveyancer," said Mr. Higginson, sneer-
ingly.
" Yes." And Mr. Nidd and Mr. Wontus both laughed most
heartily.
" Good -morning !" cried Higginson, rising.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 63
" Don't hurry," said Nidd, but Mr. Iligginson was gone.
" That man is not to be trusted," said jNIr. Nidd, seriously.
" Ha, ha, ha !" laughed Mr. Wontus. " Soap-boiler did the
business for him."
Further remark on the part of the gentlemen was cut short
by a gentleman asking if Colonel Wontus was in.
" Been promoted," said Nidd, laconically.
A tall, military-looking gentleman stepped up to Mr. Wontus
and inquired if he was Colonel Wontus. The gentleman
answered that his name was Wontus, but he had never had the
pleasure of being an army officer, much less a colonel.
" Ah, yes, I see," said the major. " Your friend here, per-
haps he "
" No, nor he either."
" Rather surprising in these days, gentlemen, — but no
matter, — I am Major Flick, of the secret service, your most
obedient servant." And the major bowed and looked really
humble.
" Secret service," said Mr. Nidd, aside ; " dash the secret
service ! Scribendi next, I presume."
"Well, sir," said Mr. Wontus, dignity and severity beam-
ing from every lineament of his pastoral countenance, " what
is your business ?" And he eyed the major from head to foot,
and then from foot to head.
" A word in your private ear," said the major, confidently,
in no wise abashed by the stern manner of Mr. Wontus, and
castino- a meaning glance at Nidd.
" No secrets from that gentleman," said Mr. Wontus, de-
cisively. " Pray go on, sir."
" You have a gentleman — a most excellent gentleman — by
the name of Wilkins in your party ?"
Mr. Wontus and Mr. Nidd exchanced glances.
" We had !" replied Mr. Wontus.
" He isn't here now ?"
A nod.
" You don't know where he is ?"
" In heaven, we hope !" interposed Mr. Nidd.
" In prison," said the major.
" Nidd, I have feared from the first that that man of yours
would get us into trouble," said Mr. Wontus, addressing him-
self to his friend.
G4 WOXTUS, OR
" He's not my man, sir !" said Mr. Nidd, sharply ; " you
wanted him, and I procured him.'
" Not his fault by any mean.s," cried the major, spiritedly ;
" looking for quart<jrs — stopped to take a snifter with a friend
— was brutally assaulted — knocked down by dasUird ruffians —
did all I could for him — was nearly killed myself — perfectly
false charges against the gentleman — dragged him to station-
house — been to see him this morning — great shame — matter
should be investio-ated "
" And shall !" cried Mr. AVontus.
Mr. Nidd looked incredulous, but said nothing.
" Where is he — where are his accusers?" asked Mr. AVontus,
"whose heart has been touched by the recital of the bad treat-
ment of Wilkins.
" I shall be pleased to accompany you to the place," said the
major, rising. " It has only been a short time since I left
there. I called to see the unfortunate gentleman early this
morning, — wanted to do something for him. He sent me to
you."
" Very jDroperly," said Mr. Wontus, rising. " Come, Nidd !"
turning to the major : " Will you take a Httle something, Mr.
— major, before going !"
" No — ah, no !" sighed the major, his looks belying his
words.
" Couldn't you be persuaded?" said Mr. Nidd.
The gentleman was persuaded, and the party left under
convoy of Major Flick, who, Mr. Wont as remarked, was very
entertaining, and soon reached the police office.
Mr. Wilkins had already had a hearing, but as no charges
were brought against him, except by the officer who arrested
him, a fine was imposed, and, Mr. Wilkins being unable to
pay the fine and charges, was returned to his cell to await
transportation to the county prison. Of course Mr. Wilkins
protested against the whole proceeding as being unjust, if not
unlawful ; but he was directed to shut up, which he did like a
philosopher, knowing that might made right, whether law or
justice guaranteed it or not.
The sight of Mr. Wontus's well-filled wallet soon gained
an interview with Mr. Wilkins, who was found with a dam-
aged countenance, and after the fines and charges had been
settled he was liberated ; and then followed a rehearsal of the
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 05
whole affair by IMr. Wilkins, done up in that gentleman's
own inimitable and glowing style. Mr. Wontus listened with
wonder, and Mr. Nidd took the liberty of questioning some
portions of the story ; but Mr. Wilkins appealed to the major,
and that gentleman not only verified every word of it, but
added his own testimony to the bravery of Mr. Wilkins, and
how they (he and Mr. Wilkins) were only overcome after all
by the great paucity of numbers.
"Did you notice mef' cried the major, as the party en-
tered the hotel. " Ah, I stood by you truly, but it was of no
use ; there was nothing that saved me but — it's all right now.
Didn't I call to see you and offer you my services the first
thing this morning? Of course I did, and I would have had
you liberated without troubling your friends but for my acci-
dentally forgetting my pocket-book." Mr. Wilkins nodded as-
sent continually, and Mr. Wontus said : " Generous fellow !"
and then went to the clerk, who looked at the clock and said :
" Not yet !"
"Where can Tommy be?" remarked Mr. Wontus.
" Have you seen him?" asked Mr. Nidd of Mr. Wilkins.
That gentleman looked as much surprised as a man with a
pair of black eyes can look, and said he had not.
" Search must be at once made ; inquiries must be insti-
tuted ; the authorities must be notified. Thomas must be
found if alive. Poor fellow!" and Mr. Wontus's fiice w^ore a
sorrowful expression, " perhaps he has been drowned. I am
sure he would never have left the house except under the
most extraordinary circumstances."
" General," cried the clerk, speaking to Mr. Nidd (it was
a fashion of the time that every stranger should be hailed by
a military title), "your man is in ' moco' ; there is an ofiicer
here who has just been sent here to inform you of the fact."
" Moco ?" said Mr. Nidd, with a puzzled air. " Pray, sir,
wdiere is ' moco' ?"
" Prison !" laughed the clerk.
"Oh!" said Mr. Nidd, and he called Mr. Wontus aside
to impart the information that Thomas Thomson was in prison,
otherwise called " moco."
iMr. Wontus was astonished ; he could not believe it ; but
there was the officer, who reiterated the statement of the clerk,
and Mr. Wontus was forced to believe it, much against his will.
C*
66 WOXTUS, OR
" Xidd, 111 g^o home ; yes, I'll go home. One day out, and
enough trouble to ruin a stronger mun than I am. I can't
bear it, Nidd ! Tommy is close to me ; he's been with me
since a boy, and I feel the disgrace as much as if he was my
son." Mr. W'ontus spoke in accents of the deepest distress.
" Nidd, Nidd, what am I to do ? You are a strong, wise,
cool man, — your advice ! What course had I better pursue?"
Mr. Nidd, thus appealed to, coughed two or three times,
rubbed his chin with the palm of his hand, and in a soothing
voice bid Mr. AVoutus take courage. " It will all come right,
I've no doubt," he continued. '" Had you been a married
man, Mr. Wontus, you would have been used to these little
vexations ; perhaps some villains have treated Thomas as Mr.
Wilkins was treated."
" I will get married No. I won't !" cried Mr. Wontus,
the language of his friend still lingering in his mind. '• Per-
haps," he said, after a moment's pause, — •' perhaps Tommy has
been unfortunate ; I must not be hasty. Danm it, I will stand
it ! — I'll stand anything ! Go home ? No. never !" And his
face at once assumed a determined, cheerful expression.
"Where is this place?" asked Wontus, turning to the
officer, " this ^Morocco, or whatever you call it ?"
The officer said that it was but a short distance off, and,
directing Mr. Wilkius to remain until his return, he and Mr.
Nidd and the officer started for the police station.
Thomas Thomson was found, as usual in such cases, and
was liberated in the customary manner, much to his own
pleasure and Mr. Wontus's relief. On returning to the hotel
his story was related, and after everything had been fully ex-
plained, Mr. Nidd suggested that as quarters had not yet been
found, that Mr. Wontus and himself should go out and seek
lodgings, and that uuder no circumstances should 3Ir. Thom-
son and 3Ir. Wilkins leave the hotel until their return. The
major stood by and looked as though he might be " persuaded,"
but as he was simply the friend of Mr. Wilkius. and as Mr.
Wilkins was out of spirits, the major soon left, promising to
call again ; and our hero and his friend sallied forth in search
of a more desirable location.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 67
CHAPTER VI.
TELLS OF A SLIGHT ERROR CONCERNING MR. THOMSON,
AND THE VALOR OF MR. WONTUS. IT ALSO DEVELOPS
A NEW PHASE IN GASCON NIDD'S CHARACTER, AND IN-
TRODUCES A WOMAN.
The practical business tact of Mr. Nidd, although as a p:en-
eral thing of little use to the party, was of great service to them
on this occasion. He informed Mr. Wontus at the outset that
he would attend to the matter, and he commenced by deliber-
ately stopping and buttonholing every genteel man who came
along, and asking him where he could find a suitable lodging-
house. His rather grave and dignified appearance spoke well
for him in most cases, but it was not until he had inquired of
some half-dozen or so, with various results, that he was suc-
cessful in finding the man who had confidence and cleverness
enough to direct him to such a place as he thought would suit
the inquirer and his party.
The house — a very nice-looking one, on Walnut Street — -
was reached, and, upon stating their business, Mrs. Squirm
was called, and introduced as the landlady. Her manner was
mild and suave ; but, as Mr. Wontus afterward said to Mr. Nidd,
privately, her looks were rather against accepting her at her
own estimate. That made but little dilfereuce, Mr. Nidd said ;
and after Mr. Wontus had expressed himself as pleased with
the rooms, the question of rental was settled, and the gentle-
men left, promising to return with their baggage in course of
the afternoon.
"I think it is a good place," said Mr. Wontus, "for the
little time we shall remain here."
Mr. Nidd acquiesced, and they journeyed to the hotel, where,
somewhat to their surprise, they found both Mr. Thomson and
Mr. Wilkins awaiting them, and without any accident having
happened to either during their absence.
The clerk was notified of their intention to leave, and after
that gentleman had gone through the regular process of cou-
68 WOXTUS, OR
suiting the clock, the bill was made out, paid, and a wagon
loaded with the baggage, and Tommy and Wiikins placed on
the top as a guard, Mr. Wontus and his friend intending to
direct the movement of the whole from the sidewalk. All
Toeing in readiness, the " percession," as Mr. AVilkins called it,
moved from the hotel, and thence up Walnut Street.
" No accident to-day," said Mr. Nidd, as they walked along,
looking at the surging mass of citizens and soldiers who crowded
the sidewalks.
"None," said Mr. Wontus, and his flice looked as calm
and placid as a mirror. The wagon was just crossing Third
Street, and Mr. Wontus had just taken his eyes off that mag-
nificent pile of stones called the Exchange, when a man on the
sidewalk opposite cast a hurried but penetrating glance at
Tommy, and in a twinkling climbed up into the wagon, and,
without ceremony, laid his hand on Mr. Thomson's shoulder,
and said :
" My prisoner !"
Mr. Thomson looked at the man with terror and astonish-
ment.
" Come, get out !" cried the man, hurriedly ; " I've been look-
ing for you these two weeks."
" What for? I don't want to," cried Mr. Thomson, in pite-
ous accents, trying to lay his hand on ^Ir. Wilkins's shoulder,
who was sitting in front with the driver, engaged in an absorb-
ing and animated conversation.
" Come, get !" cried the man, pulling Tommy by the shoul-
der; "you belong to the Seventy-second, and you're wanted."
The proceeding had been watched by Mr. Wontus. " Nidd !
Wiikins ! driver ! anybody !" cried he, rushing into the street,
in a terrible condition of excitement, much to the great amuse-
ment of some and the astonishment of others, *'
" Will nobody stop this infernal wagon ?" he shouted, trying
to put his very short legs into the very tall wagon. " Ho !
there, ho ! there," he continued, reluctantly giving up his
efforts to get into the wagon. " What in the devil do you
mean, sir ? Get out of that wagon, and leave that man alone,
or I'll have you arrested. I'll brain you with a stone." And
he commenced trying to pull one of the paving-stones from its
bed.
" He's a deserter, I tell you," cried the man to the driver,
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATIOX. CQ
•who had been attracted by the cries of Toimiiy and jMr. Won-
tiis, and handed Mr. Wilkins the reins.
" It' that's it, why, take him," said the patriotic driver. And
taking the reins again, he pulled in alongside the curb, and
with Wilkins calmly looked on at the man trying to get Thomas
out of the wagon and Thomas trying to keep himself in.
" What's the matter?" coolly inquired Mr. Nidd, who had
just noticed Mr. Wontus's efforts to unloosen the paving-stone,
but who as yet was ignorant of the trouble in the wagon.
"jMatter?" cried Mr. Wontus, with redoubled exertions,
" look there !" And he pointed, with an excited gesture, to
the struggle going on in the wagon. Mr. Nidd was at a loss
to comprehend for a moment. The usually innocent and placid
•Mr. Wontus in such a position and in such a passion was new
to him. But he saw that something unusual had occurred,
and, with gigantic strides, he crossed the street, stepped up to
the wagon, and demanded to know the reason for such strange
proceeding's. Thomas was very red in the face, and so was
the man, for neither appeared to have much the advantage of
the other in strength, and both appeared to be satisfied to quit
their struggles to answer Mr. Nidd's question. At this junc-
ture Mr. Wontus came up, and would probably have made
somebody feel the weight of a huge stone which he held in his
hand, had it not been for the fact that the stranger, catching
sight of his threatening countenance and menacing attitude,
leaped from the wagon and ran up a neighboring street, amid
the shouts of the crowd who had been attracted to the scene
by the rather unusual proceedings.
" Bully for the old duck !" shouted one ; " Hunkey boy !"
shouted another ; and then the crowd sent up such a yell that
Mr. Wontus was brought to a true understanding of the rather
ludicrous figure he was cutting, in a very sudden manner.
" Drive on !" cried Mr. Nidd, in a commanding manner, as
the man disappeared around the corner, and Mr. Wontus cast
his boulder into the street. '' Drive on !" And leaving an ex-
planation of the affair to follow in course of time, the party
journeyed on without further mishap until the mansion of
Mrs. Squirm was reached and the corps safely installed in its
new quarters. Thomas was able to impart scarcely more thau
the reader is already familiar with, and the conclusion arrived
at by all was, that the strange man was either a detective or
70 WOXTUS, OR
a recruiting agent, and had selected Thomas as his own, and
would probably have succeeded in making him a soldier but
for the courageous interference of Mr. Wontus. Mr. Wilkins
Wcis loud in the praise of Mr. Wontus, but desired it to be fully
and perfectly understood that he had stood inactive merely to
secui-e the man himself and then turn him over to the authori-
ties, which he was sure he would have done had it not been
for the interference of Mr. Wontus, and so the matter stood.
The new quarters were comfortable, and after tea the gen-
tlemen came up refreshed and lively. 31r. Thomson particu-
larly so. Experience had taught him wisdom, for, besides
being confined in the narrow, filthy, sickly limits of a police
station cell, he had been so unfortunate as to find that all of his
money had mysteriously disappeared, at a time when he had
undertaken to play the part of a gentleman. Besides that, had
he not escaped from the hands of a ruffian, who would have
dragged him away if he could ? To be sure he had, and he
felt like rejoicing.
As for Mr. Wilkins, his equilibrium did not appear to have
been disturbed in the least ; his almost impenetrable counte-
nance was ornamented by a pair of swollen black eyes, which were
less penetrable and expressive than usual. His disposition was
not of that kind that can be called excessively sensitive ; he
was not easily cast down, and was hard to keep down when
he did go down at all ; and as he sat on the top of Mr. Wontus's
trunk, with his legs stretched out before him, no serener or
happier-looking man (with exception of the eyes) could pos-
sibly be found. The misfortunes of the day before were evi-
dently not calculated to make much of an impression upon a
nature such as his; in fact, as a " man of the world," he looked
on these little events as but passing ripples upon the placid
bosom of life's river. He often quoted from his miscelhmeous
lore, " let the dead past bury the dead," and endeavored to live
up to that doctrine by burying disagreeable thing's the moment
they were numbered among the past.
Mr. Nidd had listened to Mr. Thomson's story, had formed
his own opinion of everything connected with the aflfair, ajid
without deigning to give vent to his opinion, took his place
at the window and was soon engaged with his evening news-
paper. Mr. Wontus appeared to think that there were traces
of the late accidents lingering in the minds of the company,
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 71
and no fooner did that thought take possession of him than he
resolved to dispel it and accordiniily proposed a game of euchre.
After a little persuasion Mr. Nidd consented, and Mr. Wilkins
was directed to procure a pack of cards, which he quickly did
from one of the boxes, much to the surprise of Mr. Wontus,
who, while he liked the game, could not bear the idea of his
dying suddenly and having a pack of cards found among his
elFects. The game was started, and progressed for some time in
silence, but Mr. Nidd being constantly the winner, Mr. Wontus
declared that it was becoming monotonous and proposed to
make it a four-hander, taking in Messrs. Wilkins and Thomson.
Nidd assented, with a chuckle of ill-disguised pleasure, and
they threw around for partners. Whether by accident or de-
sign cannot be said, but despite Mr. Wontus's best wishes to
the contrary, it occurred that Nidd and Wilkins held the two
highest cards, and hence were partners against Wontus and
Thomson.
Of course it would be understood', as the game progi'essed,
that Mr. Thomson was not much of a player, but still I venture
to verify the matter in advance, and avouch, on my own
account, that he hardly knew a knave from a king. The game
went on, and notwithstanding the want of science on Mr.
Thomson's part, and the want of that important adjunct,
" luck," on Mr. Wontus's part, he won a majority of the games
at the end of the first hour.
During the time it was noticeable that while Mr. Nidd did
not appear to take much interest in the game, yet there seemed
to be a perfect system of telegraphing between him and his
partner. Mr. Wontus was in high glee, and once or twice,
when Mr. Nidd suggested that it was growing late, Mr. Wontus
twitted him with the remark, that he guessed if he couldn't
play any better than he (Nidd) did, that he'd want to go to
bed too.
" But it's so dry," said Nidd.
" Ha, ha !" laughed Mr. Wontus, " that's your game, is it?
Yery well. Now, Thomas, we will show them something ;
well make it interesting ; the loser to pay for the wine, the
winner to go for it. Is it agreed ?"
Mr. Wilkins said he was, perfectly. Mr. Nidd said nothing,
but in a knowing way commenced to shuffle the cards.
" Best two in three," said Mr. Wontus.
72 WOXTUS, OR
" Best two in three," said Mr. Nidcl, and the p:ame pro-
gressed. The tclcirraphing between Mr. Nidd and Wilkins
continued, and at the close of the first rubber Mr. Wontus lost
by just one point.
" Very close," said he, turning down his counters. " If I
had played my ace on that second trick," he continued, " I
"Would have euchred you."
" Unquestionably," remarked Mr. Wilkins, with great po-
liteness.
The next rubber Mr. Wontus won without trouble ; but now
came what Mr. Wilkins declared was the " sugar," and the
coterie was individually and collectivel}' interested.
" Now, Tommy, you' must exercise care," said Mr. Wontus,
advising his partner; "our reputation is at stake," and Mr.
Wontus played the knave of hearts ; Wilkins followed with a
side-card. '-Now, Tommy," said Mr. Wontus, "your play;
be careful !"
" Yes, sir," answered Mr. Thomson, fingering his cards and
looking at them intently. " What's trump ?"
" Hearts !" cried Mr. Wontus, excitedly.
" Then the jack of diamonds is the next best card to the
jack of hearts, ain't it?"
" Certainly. Now "
Mr. Thomson played the knave of diamonds.
" Thunderation !" cried Mr. Wontus, excitedly, jumping up
from his chair and endeavoring to look into his partners hand.
" No instructions !" cried Mr. Nidd, interposing, and forcing
Mr. Wontus into his chair. " No instructions !"
" Have j'ou no other heart?" almost shouted Mr. Wontus.
Tommy looked at his hand, then at his partner, then at his
hand again, but said nothing. He looked bewildered.
" No instructions !" cried Mr. Nidd again, and he played a
small card and pushed the trick over to Mr. Wontus.
He led again ; this time a spade. Mr. Wilkins trumped it.
Thomas played a spade ; so did Nidd, and the trick was won,
much to the chagrin of Mr. Wontus, who cast fierce glances
at his partner. Mr. Wilkins led the ace of hearts ; Tommy
played the ten, Nidd played the queen ; and Mr. Wontus the
king.
"Any more, gentlemen?" said Mr. Wilkins, as he played
out the nine.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 73
« A euchre, by thunder !' ' shouted Mr. Wontus ; " and with
enough cards in our hands to have made a march, ihomas,
you are a stupid ass." , „r > xi, * p
^ The gentlemen all laughed at Mr. Wontus s outburst of
passion,^ind the game went on. But our hero had lo«t all in-
terest in the game, and let it go by default.
"You've Tost," said Mr. Nidd, deprecatmgly, laymg his
hand on Mr. Wontus's arm. u r.ivi ..^f
" Mr. Nidd," said Wontus, calmly, but severely, /d d not
lose ; it was that infernal jackass sitting there 1 And with this
he jumped up from his chair, and, mashing his hat on his
head, walked with hearty strides to the door, which he flung
open as though he was going out. Suddenly he halted.
" Nidd " he cried, in a subdued voice, " come here.
Mr. Nidd advanced to the door and looked in the direction
indicated by Mr. Wontus's finger. " Scribendi! he whis-
pered. And, in truth, there stood Mr. Edward Pason Mont-
calmb Higginson, with his ann encircling the waist ol Mrs.
Scmirm, the landlady. ... , .
" What's to be done?" asked Mr. Wontus, partially closmg
the door, his face losing its vexed expression.
" Whit's to be done ?" echoed Mr. Nidd. " Why, what u
to be done?" _^ ^ . i
"It's so amusing," whispered Mr. Wontus, mysteriously
and he shrugged his shoulders and gave vent to a subdued
laugh. " Let us have another peep at them.
The door was opened cautiously, but Mr. Edward Pason
Montcalmb Higginson, who had been standing in the mom
just across the first landing on the stairs, and not more than
a dozen yards off, had mysteriously disappeared, and the land-
lady was sitting in the centre of the room, completely ab-
sorbed in writing. j ^v ,„i,
"Very singular," said Mr. Wontus, as he ga^d through
the partially-open door at her placid, innocent face; very
singular!"
"Rather good-looking, said Mr. Nidcl.
" Pleasant, too," continued Mr. Wontus. ^,
" All women are pleasant until you are married to them,
replied Mr. Nidd.
" Nidd, I'm astonished." . ,,
" You'd be more astonished if you were married.
7
7-1 WOXTUS, OB
" But, Nidd," continued Mr. Wontns, without heeding his
friend's last remark, " men are the same. I do not approve
of this fasliiou men have of laying everything to women."
'• The first great cause,'' said Nidd, deci.^ively.
'• I was never married," and Mr. Wontus's face assumed a
rather regretful cast as he spoke, '"but I am sure "
" So am I sure .'" interrupted Mr. Nidd. " That's the rea-
son why I spoke. I loved my wife "
" Ahem !" sjiid a female voice just outside of the door.
Mr. Nidd darted on tip-toe to the front window and looked
out. Mr. Wontus stood with his hand on the knob of the
door, the picture of perplexity ; he seemed to be rooted to
the spot. A gentle knocking at the door did not relieve him
in the least. He feared to move lest he should be heard, and
he feared to speak lest his close proximity to the partially
open door would indicate the fact that he had been peeping.
Another gentle rapping. Mr. Wontus's face flushed and his
knees trembled. Mr. Wontus felt that he had been guilty of
something that was really disgraceful. Something must be
done, and he commenced a series of pantomimic signs to
Tommy and Wilkins, but these gentlemen were busily engaged
in a lesson at seven-up, and failed to see the signs and postures
which Mr. Wontus threw them to attract their attention.
The knock was repeated ; this time a trifle louder than before.
The party looked up and gazed in mute astonishment at the
contortions of Mr. Wontus's face and body. First he would
wave his hand to command silence ; then he would wriggle
his body as though troubled with a pain ; then he would point
to the door with such a look of intense disgust that he pre-
sented a really painful picture.
Tommy no sooner saw the position and contortions of his
master than he was upon his feet in a moment, upsetting his
chair, and making considerable noise in his efforts to be quick,
and was about to fly to the rescue, when he was checked by
the warning hand and grievous face of 3Ir. Wontus.
•'What's the matter?" cried Tommy, excitedly.
Mr. Wontus only waved his hand more vigorously and
shook his head warningly.
" Sit down," whispered Mr. Wilkins, instantly comprehend-
ing the situation.
Mr. Thomson resumed his seat with wondennent depicted
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 75
in ever}^ lineament of his countenance, and IMr. Wontus
looked somewhat relieved. All this had transpired in the
brief space of a few seconds ; but as Mr. Wilkins advanced
to the door atid placed himself between it and Mr. Wontus
the latter gentleman's face was bathed in perspiration.
" Beg pardon, madam, did you knock?" said Mr. Wilkins,
forcing Mr. Wontus into a corner and opening the door. He
spoke in his blandest and sweetest accents.
Mr. Wontus looked relieved, and for the first time since
the scene commenced drew a long breath.
" Beg your pardon, sir," said a sweet, mellow female voice,
" but Ihetird you talking and I thought I would step over
and see if you would like to have anything. I like my
boarders to be waited on properly."
Mr. Wontus wiped the perspiration from his face and en-
deavored to peer through the chink of the door.
" Not at all, madam," said Mr. Wilkins, shading his already
shaded eyes. " We were deeply interested in a philosophical
question, — you are very kind, — no occasion to ask pardon, —
only very happy not to be so situated as to trouble you."
" Grood-evening, sir," and the voice and its owner, Mrs.
Squirm, vanished down the stairs. Wilkins shut the door.
"Splendid! splendid!" shouted Mr. Wontus, capering
about the room. " Wilkins, you are a man of ;he world ; a
perfect jewel. Who could have done the thing ro well as you?
Nobody. Nidd's a deserter. What a sweet voice she ha.s !
But there's that man Higginson ; what's he doing here? No
matter, she is an elegant woman, — a splendid woman ; and what
anxiety she manifests for our comfort ! Nidd, I say, why did
you desert? I am confounded glad you did ; but why did you ?"
" Mr. Wontus," said Mr. Nidd, turning from the window for
the first time, "that is a fine woman, — an exception to the rule.
No nonsense about her ; all business, — common sense ; the first
woman of the kind I have ever seen. In some respects she
reminds me of my deceased, dear wife. Fine round form,
blue eyes, dark hair; and what shoulders! Grand woman.
Mr. Wontus, if we remain here any length of time I shall take
pains to cultivate her acquaintance. What was the matter
with you ? You did not show that courage that a man of your
age should always display in the presence of the fair sex. I
was amazed at you."
"76 WOXTUS, OR
" You! you amazed at nie !" cried Mr. Wontus. picking up
the cards and tlirowing them down again with violence. " You
amazed ! Well, sir, it was / who ought to have been amazed !
I stood by the door and would have entertained the lady most
handsomely had she entered, but she did not. As it was, you
deserted. Where is your gallantry, Mr. Nidd ? Where is it?"
Mr. Nidd did not deign to reply to these remarks, or if he
did, he did not have the opportunity, for Mr. Wilkins's mildest
voice suggested that if the liquor which had been played for
and won was not forthcoming pretty soon it would be too late.
But the harmony of the occasion was disturbed, and Wontus
suddenly became crabbed and disagreeable.
" Good-night, sir," said Mr, Nidd, and he walked into his
room, adjoining Mr. Wontus's, and closed the door after him.
"A cheat," soliloquized Mr. Wontus, and then adding,
aloud : " Go to bed, boys, go to bed ; there has been enough
excitement in the past few days to kill a man ; we all want
rest." And directing Mr. Thomson to turn oiF the gas, 3Ir.
Wontus rolled himself into bed, and thought of the vexations
and mishaps that had met him thus far at every step on his
journey. After a time his thoughts assumed a more agreeable
line, and he fell asleep with the mellow voice of Mrs. Squirm
ringing in his ears and bright pictures of the future dancing
before his eyes.
[It would be tedious for the reader to wade through the
many pages of closely written matter which tell of the steps
of the members of the club, from the time they became in-
stalled in Mrs. Squirm's house until they left the City of
Brotherly Love, a week afterwards, therefore w^e have set one
of our savants to work with a view to cull the choicest mor-
sels, and present them, with a brief summary, to the reader. —
Pub.]
Mr. Nidd could never tell why he had taken a dislike to
Mr. Edward Pason Montcalmb Higginson at the first, and now
that they were both quartered beneath the same roof, and eat-
ing day after day at the same table, the feeling was not im-
proved in the slightest. Mr. Higginson quietly ignored the
members of the corps, and treated them as though they were
perfect strangers. With Mr. Wontus this made no particular
difference, because he was seldom in the house except to
meals; but with Mr. Nidd the matter was quite different.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION^. 77
That gentleman appeared to take a particular delight in thrust-
ing himself into Mr. Iligginson's way whenever opportunity
ofiered. If he met Mr. lligginson on the stairs, he stood in
his way, and that gentleman quietly walked round him. If
]Mr. Higginson said to anybody in Mr. Nidd's presence that
the weather was charming, that gentleman at once said to some-
body else that it Wiis miserable. If he said the news from the
front was distressing, Mr. Nidd at once pronounced it delight-
ful and most cheering. To all of which Mr. Higginson never
ventured a reply or even a look. But what angered Mr. Nidd
more than anything else was the assiduous attention bestowed
upon the charming Mrs. Squirm. There were two reasons for
this : first, because Mr. Nidd was naturally a jealous man, and
second, because Mrs. Squirm was always attentive to him,
when Mr. Higginson was not present, but appeared to lose in-
terest in him when Mr. Higginson was there. As the days
wore on the condition of affairs grew worse instead of better,
and finally the matter came to a head, after a style that will
be delineated farther on in these pages. .
With Mr. Wontus everything was very pleasant. He
awoke the morning after his game of euchre, feeling re-
freshed ; and, while he dressed himself, thought over the
affair with his friend the night before, and was willing to
confess to himself that his anger had really a woman at the
bottom of it, and that woman w^is Mrs. Squirm, his landlady.
"Wine and women," said he, "are at the bottom of most
things, but with the second I am forever done." And thus
he philosophized, and quietly dismissed the matter from his
head — after asking his friend's pardon.
From that time out his happiness was not clouded by a
single mishap. He kept both Tommy and Mr. Wilkins by
his side continually, and spent his days visiting the different
places of interest about the city, and his nights either in his
room or at the theatre. He visited the Volunteer llefresh-
ment Saloons at the lower end of the city, where thousands
of brave men were fed by the dainty hands of fair ladies
every day, and watched with the keenest interest the sacrifices
that were made by men and women, young and old, rich and
poor, that the government and the ^ag which they loved so
well might be preserved to them and posterity. He heard the
heartfelt thanks and the hearty cheers that welled up from
7*
78 WONTUS, OR
the bosoms of the brave fellows who were thus so generously
cared for, and his hands itched with the desire to aid with his
personal services the patriotic men and women who toiled,
without money, without price, for the dear old flag of our
fathers. There was help in abundance, for each and every
one seemed to vie with his neighbor as to who should con-
tribute the most to the welfare of their soldier guests, and
both day and night found willing hands to minister to the
wants of all.
Girard College also came in for a share of his attention ;
and here a little incident occurred, which, though trifling in
its character, deserves a place in the archives of the corps. It
was a bright, cheerful morning when Mr. Wontus and his
friends, armed with the necessary pass and dressed with more
care than usual, presented themselves at the gate for admittance.
" Gentlemen of your cloth are not permitted to visit the
institution," said the gate-keeper, looking at Mr. Wontus,
" but these other gentlemen can go in if they desire." And he
pointed to Wilkius and Thomson.
" Not go in?" said Mr. Wontus, regretfully.
" No, sir."
" These men can go in ?"
" Yes, sir."
" Then why not me also ?" asked Mr. Wontus, excitedly.
" You haven't read your card of admission carefully, have
you ?"
"No."
" You ought to do it."
"Why?" said Mr. Wontus. " I did not understand that
any man was excluded from visiting this place, and I would
like to know, sir, why I am singled out in this manner?"
" Well, sir," said the gate-keeper, with a smile, " men of
your calling — ministers of the gospel — are not admitted. It
is a part of the will of the gentleman who founded the col-
lege, and was intended, I presume, to keep the scholars from
quarreling about the difterent modes of worshiping God."
" Thuuderation !" cried Mr. Wontus, not exactly compre-
hending the matter. " I am not a minister. I was a soap
manufacturer, but "
" Soap manufacturers are admitted," interrupted the gate-
keeper, laconically, and he ushered the party in.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 79
It was a long while before Mr. Wontus got the matter
thoroughly fixed in his head ; but during his wanderings
through tiie spacious halls of the institution he finally accom-
plished that important feat, and informed Mr. AVilkins that
he thought it was perfectly right, and that Mr. Girard must
have been a man of great foresight and penetration to have
ever thought of such a thing; for himself (Wontus), he
would never have dreamed of it.
At the close of the club's first week with Mrs. Squirm the
chasm existing between Mr. Nidd and Mr. Higginson had
grown wider, deeper, and more threatening. The landlady,
anxious to please both parties, had endeavored to keep herself
out of the way of both ; but, somehow or other, Mr.^ Nidd
always managed to find her and spend an hour or so in her
company, at such times regaling her with the admii-able attri-
butes of the former Mrs. Nidd, and hinting at the many simi-
larities which existed between that lamented lady and Mrs.
Squirm. These occasions generally occurred during the ab-
sence of Mr. Wontus, and, strange to say, were invariably
interrupted by Mr. Higginson calling Mrs. Squirm away to
look at some delicate flowers, or something of that sort, which
he had just purchased.
At such times Mr. Nidd indulged in words not proper to
mention here, and showered curses deep and long on the de-
voted head of the aforesaid Higginson. Finally affliirs were
brought to a climax one evening by Mr. Nidd calling his rival
a snipe, a puppy, and various other choice names, ending the
whole by giving Mrs. Squirm, in Higginson's presence, an ac-
count of "' Scribendi's" visit to them at the hotel ; the airs he
put on, and the invitations he had given them to dine and wine
with him. The lady expressed her astonishment, but begged
the gentleman to forbear. Mr. Higginson in his loftiest manner
undertook to explain the matter to the lady, but making sundry
trifling errors in point of truth, Nidd grew more furious than
ever, and ended the scene by pulling ^Ir. Higginson's nose,
telling him he could have satisfaction if required, and dashing
out into the street.
Mr. Wontus returned rather later than usual, and was much
surprised to find Mr. Nidd absent. He proceeded directly to
his room, and was therefore unacquainted with what the reader
already knows. In blissful ignorance, he felt happy ; the day
80 WOXTCS, OR
had been full of interest, and the news from the army was
more cheering. McClellan had perfected all his arrangements ;
the troops were brigaded ; the brigades were formed into corps,
and everything betokened activity and an early movement.
Mr. WonlQS was sitting ruminating over the news, when
he was .startled by the well-known voice of Mr. Nidd singing
"Hail Columbia," in a minor key, and so high that his voice
occasionall}' found it necessary to change into a falsetto of the
most distresiiing shrillness. Had a bombshell fallen into the
room Mr. Wontus could not have been more astounded, but
there was little time for thought, before the tall form of Mr.
Nidd came bounding into the room in the most unceremonious
and uncalled-for manner imaginable.
" I'm drunk," said Mr. Nidd. His saying so was entirely
superfluous, for anybody who had eyes could see that he was.
" Hush !" said Wontus. shutting the door and forcing Nidd
into a chair. '• Hush ! you will alarm the house."
" Alar-alar-alarm the house ? That's what I want to do !"
And followinir this. Mr. Nidd indultred in a howl, somethino'
between the cry of a mastiff and a Sioux war-whoop.
" In Heaven's name, hush !"" cried Mr. Wontus. " Tommy,
"Wilkins," he continued, " come here." But these gentlemen
had retired or gone out.
" 111 li-hic him now ! ' cried Mr. Nidd. endeavoring to force
himself out of the chair. " Yes, 111 li-hic him now — this
very min't. Hi2:-Hiir'son, where are you? Scribendi. come
fo-forth."
Mr. Wontus endeavored to find out where his friend had
been, and after considerable effort on Mr. Nidd's part, in which
Higginson — gin — nose pulled — fight — Squirm — muss — pis-
tols, etc., were prominently mixed up, that gentleman said
enough to give Mr. Wontus to understand that there had been
a difliculty, that was likely to end in something serious, and
that his friend had been fortifying himself. This ascertained,
he succeeded in getting him to bed, and at once made prepara-
tions for leaving the city.
The next morning Mr. Wontus consulted the party at an
early hour. Mr. Nidd coming up " groggy," as the pugilists
say, and informed them that the corps would leave on the eight
o'clock train for Baltimore. Mr. Nidd demurred at first, but
finally consented, and after breakfast the bill was paid, Mrs.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 81
Squirm bid adieu by all but IMr. Nidd, and tlie corps was again
on its way toward the seat of war.
As a simple matter of justice I am constrained to say that
if Mr. Nidd remembered anything of the evening before, he
never permitted a syllable of it to pass his lips ; therefore, as
is customary under like circumstances, we shall be charitable
enough to believe that Mr. Nidd had entirely forgotten that
he had pulled Edward Pason Montcalmb Higginson's nose and
had promised satisfaction, with the saving clause, " if required."
It is probably well enough for the reader to know that it was
not required, and that Mr. Higginson only wished that he
could remain at home and demand satisfaction ; but most un-
fortunately, business called him to New York, on the six o'clock
train, hence he was on his way two hours before his antagonist
was awake, and thus what might have been a decided "affiiir
of honor," was successfully checkmated by an affair of business.
CHAPTER YII.
QUARTERS THE CORPS IN BALTIMORE, AND DEVELOPS A
NEW TALENT IN MR. WILKINS — IT ALSO TAKES THREE-
QUARTERS OF THE PARTY TO A BALL, AND RELATES A
LUDICROUS SCENE, AND OTHER THINGS TOO NUMEROUS
TO MENTION.
The ride to Baltimore was unattended by any occurrence
worthy of note, and had it not been that Mr. Wilkins had
only checked the baggage to that place, it is probable that the
Monumental City would have been left out of these records,
or if mentioned at all, would have received but a passing notice.
That Mr. Wilkins did a most lucky thing in doing this there
can be no question, for while the corps was eager to proceed
directly to AVashington, Mr. Wontus has since expressed him-
self as being delighted at his having assumed extraordinary
authority on the occasion, and insisted on spending a day or
two with the Baltimoreans. He had heard of the disloyal
element which was said to pervade the city so extensively, and
as he had never seen any disloyal people outside of his native
82 WOXTUS, OR
city, he concluded that it would be time well spent for him to
per^^onull}^ investigate the charge.
Rooms were secured at a hotel on Pratt Street by Mr. AVil-
kius, and after dinner Messrs. Wontus and Nidd sauntered
through the city, leaving Wilkins and Thomson to arranj_e the
baggage. The trunks once in the rooms, Mr. Wilkins suggested
the propriety of his calling on some friends ; and leaving 31 r.
Thomson to await the return of his employer, he took his de-
parture, assuring Tommy that his absence would be of very
brief duration.
That a man's life should be one constant round of exciting
or vexing incidents seems at the first glance to be rather im-
probable, if not exactly impossible, and yet it is within the
knowledge of almost every man who has a large circle of ac-
quaintance that there are men in the world whose mode of
living and thii-st for the exciting and curious render their
every-day life a perfect panorama of the Diost singular mis-
haps and exciting scenes. That these accidents should occur
day after day without cessation, however, is a little singular,
and the reader would be inclined to believe, if they followed
in regular rotation, that the writer w.-^s allowing his imagina-
tion to play an important part in th • detailing of events that
came beneath his notice. Now thi>; should not be, for in the
days we write of no man who moved about, particularly in
the vicinity of the large cities or" the country, could fail to
notice — if not too much absorbed in himself — that every day
brought with it something interesting ; either ludicrous, pleas-
ant, or distressing. Thu.>< far it has been the fortune of the
members of the Wontus Corps of Observation to be the prin-
cipal actors in strange comedies or ludicrous farces ; nor is
this at all singular when we consider how differently in many
things each member was constituted, and how each, if we may
except the usually skeptical Mr. Nidd. thirsted for entertain-
ment and consequent adventure. " If all the trees of the
forests were made into pens, and all the oceans were ink."'
there would scarcely be enough of either to indite the noticeable
incidents that transpire beneath the notice of the most com-
monplace sight-seer in the course of a lifetime of threescore
years and ten. But I digress.
As Mr. Wontus and his friend did nothing more than wan-
der about and look at the monuments and forts during the first
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 83
two days of their stay, I shall leave that important fraction of
the club and turn to our friend Mr. Wilkins. It is not ex-
actly certain that that gentleman had ever been in BaltiuiDro
before, but he strode up Pratt Street to Light, and turned up
that street with the air of a man who knows what he v ants
to do and means to do it. He had a happy faculty, and (»uc
which sits well on very few people, that of bestowing a coii-
tinuous nod of recognition on gentlemen that he mot on the
street, and which was invariably returned, sometimes out of
politeness and at others because the gentleman (Wilkins) had
one of those peculiar faces which (constantly remind us of some
person who exists in the misty memories of the past.
I say this was a happy faculty, and so it was, for on more
than one occasion Mr. Wilkins was greeted most warmly by
men who had never seen him before in their lives, and to whom
he instantly made himself a most agreeable acquaintance by
his suavity and knowledge of the world, — not as the term is
generally understood, but in a geographical sense. These oc-
casions he never allowed to slip by, but at once proceeded to
turn them to advantage in some way.
" Good-evening, doctor," cried a gentleman, rushing up to
Mr. Wilkins as he turned into Baltimore Street.
" Ah, good-evening," returned Wilkins, and both shook
hands most heartily.
" How have you been ? I'm glad to see you looking so
well — family all well, I hope. Terrible times these — much
sickness in your locality ?" And again Mr. Wilkins shook the
gentleman's hand most vigorously.
" I fear I am mistaken," said the gentleman, after a close
scrutiny of Mr. Wilkins's face and form. " Indeed, I must
ask your pardon, sir ; I thought you were my old friend, Doctor
Nimrod."
It was now Mr. Wilkins's turn to be surprised, and he did
it most beautifully. " And are you not my old friend, Sena-
tor ?" He mentioned a certain prominent gentleman's
name and then stepped back and threw his eyes over the gentle-
man's person. The gentleman answered that he was plain
Mr. Jones, but looked as though his being mistaken for Sena-
tor was quite a compliment. Mr. Wilkins saw that he
had him.
" Indeed, sir, it is I who should apologize," said Mr. Wilkins.
g4 WOXTUS, OR
" Dasli it ! it's neither of us," returned the gentleman.
" We have both been mistaken. Allow me to be so imperti-
nent as to ask your name."
'• "Wilkins, sir ; of the secret service."
" Ah ! G-lad to have met you, Mr. Wilkins ; allow mt, as
a settlement of this difficulty, to insist on you joining me in a
glass of wine."
Mr. Wilkins demurred.
Mr. Jones insisted, and finally pei*suaded Mr. Wilkins to
walk around to Barnum's, where they cracked a bottle of wine
and numerous jokes at the same time. "Wine' works won-
ders," says an old play, and in this case it created a most genial
friendship between the two gentlemen who had been brought
together in such an unexpected and strange manner.
" Secret service, eh?" said Mr. Jones, sipping his wine.
" Yes, — a party of us ; excellent gentlemen, I assure you."
And Mr. Wilkins reclined back in his chair, and threw one
leg over the other like a man who feels his importance.
'• Going to remain any time in town?" asked Mr. Jones.
" Can't tell exactly ; don't think we will remain more than a
day or two longer. You see I am dressed for out-door service."
" I hope you will remain over Wednesday ; splendid party
on AVednesday evening ; strangers attached to the service and
known to the committee are invited ; elegant time, I assure
you ; everything first class ; would like to invite your party ;
all gentlemen?"
'• Perfect gentlemen," said Mr. Wilkins ; " and I've no
doubt but that they'd be pleased to attend, if convenient."
" Have you a card?" asked Mr. Jones.
Mr. Wilkins went through the unnecessary trouble — for he
knew he had none — of searching his pockets, and then said he
had not. Mr. Jones took one of his own cards, and asked Mr.
Wilkins his address. Having written it down, and ascertained
how many there were in Mr. Wilkins's party, the gentleman
excused himself for a moment and left the room. Wilkins
was perfectly satisfied with ever^'thing thus far, and gave him-
self no concern as to the future. In a few moments Mr. Jones
returned, and brought with him a piece of printed paper, in-
viting Major Benjamin Wilkins and friends to the Union As-
sembly, which would take place on Wednesday evening next
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 85
" There," said the gentleman, placing the paper in Mr. Wil-
kins's hand ; " now I hope you will be able to come ; pretty
girls, good music. You will enjoy yourselves, I know."
Mr. Wilkins thanked him most fluently, and Mr. Jones soon
after remarking that he had an engagement, the gentlemen ex-
pressed the pleasure each had derived from meeting the other,
and, with a promise to meet again on Wednesday, they parted.
It being near tea-time, Mr. Wilkins returned to the hotel,
congratulating himself on his good fortune, and thinking of
the surprise he had in store for the other members of the corps.
AVontus and Nidd came in soon after, and all the members
proceeded to the tea-table in excellent spirits.
During the meal Mr. Wilkins related, in a matter-of-fact
sort of way, how he had met an old friend of his, whom he
had not seen since he left him at Ems, in Germany, some two
years before, and how his old friend Jonesey (he grew familiar)
had insisted on inviting the whole party to attend the very
fashionable and very select Union Assemblies that were then
being held every two weeks in the city, and wound up his
story by the production of the invitation. It is but proper to
say that Mr. Nidd believed Mr. Wilkins to be relating what
was not true when Mr. Wilkins spoke of " Jonesey," but the
production of the invitation was more than he could bear
quietly, and he ejaculated :
" The devil !" and was about to say more, but was stopped
by Mr. Wontus declaring that he was in favor of remaining
over Wednesday and participating in the affair.
And so it was settled that the corps should remain over
Wednesday and attend the hop. Two things are here necessary
to be understood : the first is, that to all outward appearances
all the members of the party were on the same footing, except
on occasions that were mutually understood ; and .second, that
neither Wontus, Nidd, nor Thomson had ever danced a step in
their lives. Had Mr. Wilkins? Certainly, he had waltzed
with the Duchess of Sadowa, at Copenhagen, and " varsovieii-
nied" with the Princess Metternich at the Tuileries ; but,
then, his circumstances were such that his dress was not the
most creditable in point of elegance and fashion.
" That just makes me think," said :Mr. Wontus. " What
are we to do for proper wardrobes to attend the party in ?
Nidd, have you anything to suit?"
y
86 wo XT us, OB
Mr. Nidd said he guessed he could make out, and Mr.
Wontus guessed he could ; but Wilkins ? That gentleman's
wardrobe was brief, or, in other words, it did not take any
considerable length of time to pack or unpack.
The party left the table and adjourned to the sitting-room,
where the subject was renewed. Mr. Wontus guessed that
Tommy didn't want to go, and referred to that gentleman for
an answer. Tommy guessed he didn't. Mr. Wilkins guessed
that he'd not go, but Mr. Wontus would not hear of such a
thing.
" Why, we don't know anybody," said Mr. Nidd.
" No," said Mr. Wontus.
" Got no proper clothing," said Mr. Wilkins, looking down
at himself suggestively.
" We'll fix't^iat," said Mr. Nidd. " Eh, Wontus?" Mr.
Wontus nodded, and thus it was settled that three-fourths of
the corps should attend the next party, — the last of the season.
Wednesday evening came, and with- it came rain, — a pa-
tient, easy-going rain, which seemed to say that it had come
with a determination to stay and shed its liquid influences
upon all mankind. The storm was quite an inconvenience to
most people, but to our friends it was quite a blessing, for Mr.
Nidd said — and he was authority on such matters in the
party — that any peculiarity of dress, or absence of dress-coats
on such an evening, would be perfectly excusable.
The hours rolled round, and about half-past seven Mr.
Wontus presented himself in the parlor, followed by Nidd,
Wilkins, and Tommy, the latter a spectator ; and, as they
stood surveying themselves in the mirror, let me devote a few
minutes to a description of each.
About Mr. Wontus there was nothing particularly notice-
able, except that his shirt-collar appeared to be making an
effort to embrace his ears, which effort Mr. Wontus was con-
stantly frustrating by elevating his chin and smoothing down
the collar with his hands. His shirt-bosom was rather elab-
orate, — that is, it fell in a bulging, wavy sort of manner over
his noble bosom; but with these little exceptions he was fault-
less, in a black sack-coat, blue vest, and black pantaloons.
Mr. Nidd had rendered himself captivating in a blue cloth
swallow-tail coat, ornamented wit*li brass buttons. It came up
very high about his neck and down very low about his legsj
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 87
the sleeves might have been longer, for as it was, every time
Mr. Nidd extended his arm in any direction the sleeves would
bashfully shrink up his arm, leaving his cuffs entirely exposed,
or displaying, in a ravishing manner, his bony wrists. It was
not a new garment by any means, — if I mistake not, the
owner was married in it, — and the collar luxuriated in a su-
perfluous quantity of pomatum, in which dust and oil were
probably the most important, if not the only ingredients. The
seams, too, were plainly visible to the naked eye, but, as the
gentleman was not a proud man in point of dress, this made
little difference. His dark-green vest was cut very low iu
front, and was rather short-waisted. His pants were of black
cassimere, and resembled his coat in more than one respect.
They had been cut in the flishion of some years before, were
tight in the legs and low at the waist, thus givimg his long
legs the semblance of a large pair of tongs. His feet were
encased in a neat pair of boots, — as neat as his feet would
permit, — whose legs were plainly outlined on the outside of
his pants. At first sight, the casual observer might be in-
duced to think that Mr. Nidd's pantaloons gave him trouble, —
for he frequently pulled them up that they might meet his
vest, and just as frequently pulled them down again that they
might cover as much of his feet as was possible, — but this
was not the case. Mr. Nidd was entirely at his ease. He
had carefully brushed his hair, trimmed his whiskers, and
oiled them, and, as he surveyed himself in the mirror, he
looked as though he would like to say, " Much improved."
Mr. Wilkins mildly protested against changing his dress,
for he saw that little improvement could be made. But both
Mr. Wontus and Mr. Nidd insisted on his wearing certain
articles of dress which they selected from among their own
stock of clothing, and, as a "man of the world," Mr. Wilkins
bowed in submission to fate. As he stood in the middle of
the floor, he made a figure at once severely grotesque. One
of Mr. Nidd's well-worn bottle-green frock-coats hung in loose
folds about his back and shoulders, while a waistcoat of Mr.
Wontus's, mammoth in its proportions, enveloped his chest
and extended far down toward the abdominal regions. A pair
of black pantaloons, also the property of Mr. Wontus, graced
his lower extremities. These articles of dress had been made
expressly for Mr. Wontus, and hence were very wide and
88 woxTus, on
baggy in every part, but more particularly so about the hips.
They were short in the legs, too, — that is, for Mr. Wilkins, — .
and altogether resembled, as well as I can imagine it, that pic-
ture of looseness which is intended to be represented by the
phrase "a shirt on a bean-pole." Mr. Wilkins had made
sundry tucks in different parts of his dress, and, with the
assistance of a few towels and other articles, had filled out the
parts, so that, so long as the tucks held good and the filling
remained in its place, he presented the appearance of a gentle-
man who was growing suddenly corpulent, and whose tailor
was anticipating further developments.
The Union Assemblies of Baltimore were probably the most
social and enjoyable, as well as the most fashionable, parties
given in the Union during the war. Gotten up and supported
entirely and exclusively by the Union men of the city, the
officers of the army and uslvj, as well as other distinguished
Union men who happened to be passing through or stationed
in the city, were invited to enjoy the hospitalities. As the
name indicates, they were social assemblies in fact, for all
who met there were looked upon as belonging to one common
family. In this way men and lovely "women were brought
together, amid scenes that were never to be forgotten ; and
acquaintances formed among the people of the city, which, in
many instances, ripened into the closest friendship. The
greatest care was taken by the committees that no person who
was tinged with disloj'alty to the government should secure
admittance, and thus those who were strangers to the people
of the city were able to select for themselves friends from
among those only who were friendly to the cause which they
espoused. That such a thing was necessary those who mingled
with the citizen population of the border State cities can very
well understand. But to proceed.
" Nidd, you're looking young again," said Mr. Wontus,
taking a survey of his friend ; " I told you that a little out — a
little recreation from business would do you good, and by
gTacious, it has."
'•Think so?" said Mr. Xidd, elevating his eyebrows and
casting side glances at Mr. Wontus.
" You'll be at your old game of flirting with the women
again, I expect," laughed Mr. Wontus, as Nidd strode proudly
across the room.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 89
" Ah !" ejaculated Mr. Nidd.
" It" 31rs. Squirm could be here," said Mr. Wilkins, with
animation, " then "
" It's time to go !" cried Mr. Nidd, suddenly and almost
fiercely.
" So it is," said Mr. "Wontus, looking at his watch, and
directing Thomas to wait up for them. The gentlemen pro-
ceeded to the assembly.
" Wilkins and friends," said the door-keeper, as the gentle-
men presented themselves. " Wilkins and friends," echoed a
committee-man, who looked over the list of enrolled guests.
" All right, gentlemen ; walk in."
'' Secret service," said the committee-man, whispering to the
door-keeper, and casting significant glances at the party.
The door-keeper winked his eye in a knov/ing way, and the
gentlemen were ushered in in imposing style.
The opening promenade had not taken place, and the three-
quarters of the Wontus Corps of Observation stood near the
doorway and gazed with rapturous delight upon the living
panorama of beautiful women and gallant men who passed
them. Mr. Nidd's eyes fairly danced in their sockets, and his
constant requests for Mr. Wontus to look here and then there,
as some pleasing female face or form met his gaze, at length
induced Mr. Wontus to move a little to one side and enjoy the
scene uninterruptedly. In the gallery at the upper end of the
room the fine band of the 2d Artillery was stationed. Along
each side, arranged in couples or in groups, were ofiicers of
the ordnance department, cavalry, artillery, and infantry ; each
was chaperoned by a fair lady, whose sparkling eyes were
rendering captive the sons of Mars.
The band plays a march, and in double files the company
moves in grand review around the room. The scene was both
new and inspiring to Mr. Wontus, and perhaps to Mr. Nidd,
but the latter gentleman was so deep in his admiration for the
ladies that he appeared lost to all else. Mr. Wilkins stood
with his right foot extended, his left hand on his left hip, and
his right in the upper button-hole of his coat, and surveyed
the throng as it passed with dignified scrutiny.
" Mr. Jones, I'm delighted to be with you," said Mr.
Wilkins, advancing toward a gentleman who was passing.
*' I've been looking for you ; allow me to introduce my friends
3*
90 woxrrs, or
— splendid affair — excels the court ball at St. Cloud. ]\Ir.
Jones allow me to introduce Colonel Wontus, 3Iajor Nidd, —
particular friends of mine, and true blue to the core. (Aside.)
In disguise — all of us — keep mum." And with a knowing look,
he dragged ^Ir. Jones to one side and whispered sonK3 infor-
mation in that gentleman's ear which the world will never
know, leaving Wontus and Nidd to express their surprise at
the titles which had just been bestowed upon them.
" Gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to the company.
It is our desire that all who visit here should enjoy themselves."
And taking the senior member of the corps by the arm, Mr.
Jones excused himself to Wilkins and escorted them through
the hall, and introduced them to the different ladies and gen-
tlemen of his acquaintance. Some of the ladies smiled, and
the gentlemen exchanged glances as the rather odd-looking
gentlemen were introduced ; but after a little whispering from
Mr. Jones, in which the words " secret service" and " dis-
guise" were easily distinguishable, the smiles invariably gave
way to looks of awe. (The word " secret," no matter under
what circumstances it may be spoken, invariably carries with
it a mysterious influence, which no other word in the language
can or ever does command.) Mr. Nidd. observing that con-
siderable attention was being paid to them on every hand,
became more enamored of himself than usual, and elevated his
chin higher than ever.
At length the first quadrille was summoned by a blast of
a trumpet, and a grand dash was made for places on the floor.
Mr. Jones was engaged for the first set, and placing Mr.
Wontus in the hands of a venerable-looking gentleman wearing
the straps of a brigadier-general, and introducing Mr. Nidd to
a lady who answered to the descriptive language of the three
F's, viz., "fat, fair, and forty," he bounded away, and was
soon lost in the throng.
To inform the reader that Mr. Wontus soon found himself
in the refreshment-room with the venerable-looking gentleman
with the brigadier's uniform, and that that gentleman (the
brigadier) would persist in drinking numerous toasts to tlie
secret service, until both gentlemen became a little mixed,
would simply be what really happened. To add that Mr. Nidd
frequently visited the refreshment-room during the evening,
in company with the three F's, and that his pants would per-
THE CORPS OF OBSEUVATTON. 91
sist in being either too long or too short, and that as the even-
ing progressed he became more and more didactic in his
manners, would simply be superfluous, fur it belonged to Mr.
AV^ilkins to play the part of the real hero of the occasion.
That gentleman presented a never-to-be-forgotten appearance,
but his countenance was as clear and his manner as self-assured
as though he was attired in the tip of the mode and the cyno-
sure of all observers. Fashion, in choosing him as her own,
would make a fearful mistake, and yet he stood there, after
Mr. Jones had left with his friends, in an attitude which gave
all who chose to look, to understand that he was in no way em-
barrassed or impressed by the beauty, life, and grandeur that
surrounded him. Under such circumstances, inactivity and
non-communication with those that were about him was equal
to all the tortures of the rack. By accident or intent, an
officer of infontry took his stand close by him. Now was the
time, and Mr. Wilkins commenced the siege.
" Fine party, sir, — seen nothing to excel it since the grand
fete in Venice in honor of the Doge in '57. Ever been in
Venice ?" Mr. Wilkins paused for a reply.
The officer surveyed the rather singular-looking gentleman
for a moment, and answered :
" No, sir."
" Splendid place ; girls beautiful — large black eyes — dark
hair — dark skins — real Venuses." (A pause.) " Any place
where a thirsty man could wet his whistle?" continued Mr.
Wilkins, in an under-tone.
" Up-stairs," said the officer, a captain, moving his head in
the direction of the refreshment-room.
" Thanks, colonel, thanks," said Mr. Wilkins, in his most
impressive manner. "■ But, pardon me, will you do me the
favor to tell me that gentleman's name ?" (He pointed with his
finger.) " I think I met him at Moscow a year or two since."
There is nothing like a modest-looking and yet familiar man
to take hold of and hold one's attention. I look at one of these
gentlemen with the same absorbing, anxious interest that I do
at a loaded cannon, expecting that it will go oiF — when it does
go ofi" — in some unexpected moment and direction.
The officer looked on Mr. Wilkins as if he was one of this
sort of cannon, and after giving Mr. Wilkins the desired in-
formation, seemed to await the next explosion. But it never
92 WOXTUS, OR
came. Mr. TTilkins no sooner heard the gentleman's name
pronounced audibly by the captain, and pronounced it himself
to insure correctness, than, throwing his left hand in the hollow
of his back and keeping his right in the lapel of his coat, he
marched up to the gentleman and spoke :
" Pardon me, sir, if I intrude ; but, if I mistake not, you are
Mr. Pattei-son ?" Mr. AVilkins paused for a reply.
" You are right, sir," said the gentleman, pleasantly ; " that
is my name."
" Let me see," solilociuized Mr. Wilkins, in an attitude of
deep thought, " I was endeavoring to place you, — remember
your name very well, but can't place you to save me." And
again Mr. Wilkins fell to thinking.
'' I've traveled considerably," said the gentleman : " South
America, Mexico, and our own continent, from the Atlantic
to the Pacific ; in fact, pretty generally evcr^'where."
'"Let me see," said Mr. Wilkins, contemplatively, '"Pots-
dam, — ever been at Potsdam?"
"Prussia?"
" Yes ; grand review, — splendid military spectacle, — 23d of
May, '59.'"''
The gentleman nodded in the affirmative.
" Glad to meet you once again," cried Mr. Wilkins, and
seizing the gentleman's hand he shook it warmly.
Mr. Patterson could not be brought to remember the familiar
face of Mr. Wilkins. although that gentleman pointed out, by
means of an imaginary diagram, which he drew with the toe
of his boot on the floor, the exact location and relative posi-
tions of the gentleman and himself on the particular 2od of
May. He even went so far as to repeat the very language
which Count Seidelitz used on the occasion of their introduction,
and described, in precise lang-uage, how his friend was stand-
ing beneath the shade of a tree, with one foot resting on a
bench and a malacca cane under his arm, at the very moment
the introduction took place. Quite a group had collected
around the gentlemen, attracted by ]Mr, Wilkins' s singular
appearance and animated manner, and this made that gentle-
man anxious that he should be acknowledged. At length
the gentleman did think that he had a faint recollection of
the matter, which Mr. Wilkins at once clinched by saying,
'^Certainly you have," and resumed the hand-shaking.
THE CORPS OF OTiSEIiVATIOy. 93
This was the point that Mr. Wilkins had been watching
for, and taking the gentleman by the arm lie insisted on Mr.
Patterson joining him in a short " eommodieum,'" and bowing
to the group which surrounded him, he absolutely compelled
his new acquaintance to show him to the refreshment-saloon
and there help him to some liquor and drink to Auld Lang
Syne. From this moment he was once more " a man of the
world." He managed to impress in a mysterious way all who
came in contact with him of the importance of the secret
service, and he enjoined on all who learned his name that he
desired to remain entirely and completely incog. ^ and as an
evidence of his sincerity, he pointed, with no little gravity, to
his dress, which was certainly calculated to impress all who
saw it with the idea that it was either intended as a disguise
or that the wearer was a lunatic. To jMr. Wilkins this made
no particular difference. It had been selected by Messrs.
AVontus and Nidd, and he felt that whatever odium was at-
tached to it, all of it certainly belonged to them.
How many times he endeavored to find a partner, and how
many times he was refused, and how many times he solaced
himself by visiting the refreshment-saloon, I cannot undertake
to say, but the times were certainly numerous. The more he
was refused the more he pressed himself, until, at length, his
importunities became almost unbearable. He felt that he was
not understood, or at least not appreciated ; and where he
would have stopped can never be recorded, for it transpired in
course of time that Mr. Wontus indignantly denied, in his
conversation with the brigadier, that either he or any of his
party belonged to the secret service, and to make assurances
doubly sure, he further said that any man who said that he or any
of his party belonged to, or had, in any manner, the remotest
connection with the service, was an impostor and should be
kicked. This becoming noised about, taken in connection
with Mr. Wilkins's excessive "freshness," soon brought that
gentleman in the midst of a throng of excited and angry men,
who insisted on his leaving the room at once. Mr. Wilkins
would argue the point with them. He belonged to Mr.
' Wontus's party, and that gentleman, or Mr. Nidd, could prove
him to be anything else than an impostor. They laughed at
him, and quoted Mr. Wontus's language used to the brigadier.
He asked to be allowed to seek Mr. Nidd or Mr. Wontus, but
94 WOXTUS, OR
they would hear nothing except his immediate departure,
Mr. Wilkins was becoming dejected. A sight met his gaze,
it was Nidd with the three F's hanging on his arm. Mr.
Wilkins called to him, but Mr. Nidd was deaf to all but the
charming voice of the F's. The situation became desperate.
He must see Mr. Nidd, — that gentleman could untangle the
matter. He undertook to fly to his side, but the undertaking
was misunderstood to be an effort to escape, and a dozen hands
took hold of him. He struggled, and more hands took hold.
The tucks in his pants commenced giving way, and the towels,
etc., began to show signs of uneasiness.
" Out with him !" was shouted on all sides; and just at a
most critical moment, when his pantaloons appeared to have a
desire to take leave of his pereon, and the filling of his breast
had sought a resting-place under his right arm, he was raised
from the floor and conveyed — one grand, struggling mass of
ill-assorted clothes — to the door and thence down the stairs,
where he was liberated and directed to depart., amid the
laughter and jeers of the company.
It was rather late when Mr. Wontus and Nidd arrived at
the hotel, and they expressed considerable astonishment whoa
they found that Mr, Wilkins had reached there before them.
He pleaded sickness as the cause of his leaving the assembly
so unceremoniously, and as the gentlemen were in utter igno-
rance as to the true cause, the party soon after retired.
CHAPTER YIII.
DOMICILES THE CORPS IN THE CAPITAL OF THE NATION,
AND TREATS OF SICKNESS, LOVE, AND OTHER THINGS.
Nothing of particular interest transpired during the re-
maining time that the corps spent in the Monumental City.
Mr. Wilkins was entirely recovered from his sickness the next
morning, and the party were all enjoying the most excellent
health and spirits. The more Mr. Wontus saw of the world
the better he liked it, nnd Mr. Nidd, although less expressive,
was none the less charmed by the novelty of being entirely
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 95
free from care. That Mr. Thomson was delighted, certainly
none who have noticed his fidelity to Mr. Wontiis can question.
The morning at length arrived for the corps to take its de-
parture, and it bid adieu to Baltimore witli feelings akin to
re*^ret.
"As they passed along in the cars toward the capital of the
nation, Mr. Wontus could scarcely restrain himself from ask-
ing the conductor to stop the train, that he might converse
wi'th and assist the soldiers who guarded every mile of the
road. It was the first real indication of war that he had seen,
and the tenderest emotions of his sympathetic bosom were
awakened. The train would not stop and Mr. Wontus knew it,
so he bought all the daily newspapers he could from the news-
dealer on "the train, and as he passed along he dropped them
from the window, that the lonely guardians of his peace and
safety might at least know that they were remembered. The
papers becoming exhausted, he fell to throwing out money,
and although Mr. Nidd expostulated with him, he persisted
in doing so until the train moved into the depot at Washington.
The ''depot of any of the great railroad lines, during the
rebellion, was an object of peculiar interest. The strange
faces; the incidents which graduated "from grave to gay,
from lively to severe," were afiliirs, not of days or hours, but
of moments. Each click of the clock pointed to a moment
preirnant with startling events, and faces marked with all the
different passions which fill the human breast, made up one
grand picture, which having been once seen, can never be
obliterated by the march of thue. That the Washington depot,
of the solitary line then leading to that great centre, from
the populous North, West, and East, should be particularly
noticeable is not surprising.
G-rief-stricken mothers in search of wounded sons ; disheart-
ened wives in search of missing husbands ; bereaved sisters
prepared to follow a loved soldier-brother to a premature grave ;
men seeking office ; politicians seeking jobs ; statesmen,^ soldiers,
sjamen. and men of every cast, condition, and complexion, were
here to be seen, the whole a living panorama of humanity, done
in such colors and shapes as to defy the pencil of the most
astute artist.
Each was intent on the business which brought him or her
to this grand centre, and the commoner fbelings of respect and
96 wo XT us, OR
love gave place to one of supreme selfishness. At least Mr.
Wontus thought so, when he observed the grand rush and dash
made by each and every individual to keep ahead of his neigh-
bor, and reach the street.
Having reached the avenue, Mr. Wontus insisted on a halt,
and for the space of a few moments was apparently lost in
contemplation of the wondrous pile of marble, which stood
before him, and marked its grand outline against the clear,
blue sky.
" Have a hack, sir? Ride up, sir?" greeted his ears in
showers ; and drums were beating, and armed men marching
in every direction, but he was deaf to all ; his eyes were fixed
upon the Capitol.
Here was where the great men of the nation assembled ; here
it was that speeches were uttered that made the very earth
tremble, and made Europe look with undisguised emotion upon
the infant nation of the New World.
Ah, it was a great sight for Mr. Wontus; it kindled emotions
in his bosom that were strangers there before, and he longed
for the moment when he should be allowed to fiill down and
worship at the feet of the great men, whose greatness stared
him full in the fiice from the columns of every newspaper in
the land.
" Come along," said he, at length, '"'we have plenty of time
before us (it was not yet noon) ; we can let our baggage re-
main in the hands of the express company until we are ready
to send for it." And leading the way himself, the corps
passed along up the avenue without seeming to have the re-
motest idea as to where they were likely to halt.
Reaching Second Street, Mr. Wontus took a hasty survey
of the conservatory, where everybody, except those who pay
for it, are permitted to gather flowers, and expressed a desire
to pay it a visit. Mr. Nidd suggested that they return to
Baltimore, and was answered by an incredulous look from
Mr. Wontus.
" Fine woman — splendid !" said Nidd, half aloud.
Mr. Wontus looked in every direction, but not seeing any-
body particularly fine-looking, cast a glance at his friend, and
asked, ''Where?" He was compelled to repeat his question.
"Baltimore!" said Mr. Nidd. coolly.
"The three F's !" cried Mr. Wontus, laughing, the truth
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 97
darting into his mind. "Come, old boy," he continued,
punching Mr. Nidd in the side with his thumb, " this will
never do."
But whither were they to turn their footsteps? None
knew, and they stood on the sidewalk in a condition of uncer-
tainty bordering on uneasiness.
"Must have some place," said Mr. Wilkins, ramming his
hand first into one pocket and then into another, and then re-
turning to the first one and turning it inside out, and repeat-
ing the same process with his other pockets in regular order.
"Must have some place," echoed Mr. Wontus, abstractedly,
and then he silently contemplated Mr. Wilkins in the process
of turning his pockets inside out. "What's the matter?" he
asked, at length.
"Nothing partic'lar," said Mr. Wilkins, growing more in-
dustrious than ever.
"What are you looking for?" asked Mr. Wontus, corn-
man din gly.
Mr. Wilkins hesitated for some time before replying, but at
length faltered out, in an apologetic way, that he thought he
had some money, but he believed he hadn't, after all.
"Money?" said Mr. Wontus. "What do you want with
money?"
This was what Mr. Wilkins had been fishing for, — the ques-
tion, not the money, for he knew he had none of the latter, — •
and he quickly replied :
"You see, sir, if I could go into one of these saloons and
ask the landlord, it might be that he could tell me where to
find rooms; but I don't like to go in without taking some-
thing. I was just lookin' to see if I couldn't raise enough for
a short 'commodicum.' "
"A good idea," said Mr. Nidd.
"Very," said Mr. Wontus, comprehending; and handing
IMr. Wilkins a quarter, he directed him to see what could be
done.
The money once in Wilkins's hand, that gentleman lost no
time in finding his way into a neighboring saloon, from which
he emerged in a few moments, his face beaming with undis-
guised satisfaction, and a card in his hand.
"Got a place?" asked Mr. Nidd.
"Splendid!"
E 9
93 WOXTUS, OR
"Where?" asked Mr. Wontus, with interest.
'' No. — , D Street, two rooms, ample accommodations, widow
"woman, cheap, ver}' private, central, all hunkey."
And without allowing time for any questions to be asked,
Mr. Wilkins leads the way briskly up the avenue to Third
Street, and up Third to D Street, on which street, with great
fiimiliarity, he walked up to a door and rang the bell. A
lady waited on the door. The business being explained, the
party was admitted, and after the rooms had been examined a
bargain was struck, and 3Ir. Wilkins dispatched to the express
office for the baggage.
"]Moxley must be seen immediately," said Mr. Wontus;
"he can put us on the ri^ht course."
'•Certainly," said Mr. Nidd.
The two gentlemen were sitting in one of their two rooms,
looking out of the window, and Thomas Thomson was survey-
ing the various articles of furniture and the pictures that
graced the wall.
" Better leave it until to-mon'ow," said Mr. Nidd, and Mr.
Wontus making no objection, it was agreed that the visit to
Mr. Wontus's friend (Mr. 31oxley), who was a clerk* in one of
the departments, but which one Mr. Wontus was unable to
say, should be postponed until the following day.
The latitude of Washington is particularly agreeable in the
spring, because there is little or no monotony about it. The
clerk of the weather seems to have been particularly instructed
with respect to the latitude of Washington, and impressed
with the fact that the residents belong pretty generally to that
class who desire variety. Hence it is never very warm or very
cold, or very sunshiny or very cloudy, very long at a time, but
agreeably alternates between the different conditions. Some-
times, however, with a little — just a little — favoritism toward
one or the other of the four.
It had been clear and pleasant when the party arrived at the
capital, but while Mr. Wontus and Mr. Nidd were looking out
of the window the sky became suddenly overcast with clouds,
and this was soon followed by such a storm of rain as is seldom
seen on this side of the tropics. The gentlemen looked on in
silence.
" I reckon it'll rain," said Mr. Thomson, approaching the
window and looking out at the rain, which came down as
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 99
tlioiigli each stream was poured through a funnel. ^Ir. Nidd
gave the speaker a look of disgust, and Mr. Wontus became
suddenly interested in his right foot.
" Gout?" said Nidd, looking at the foot.
" Rheumatics, I think," said Mr. Wontus. " Terrible cli-
mate ; Tommy, have a fire made here as soon as possible;
roast a man one hour and freeze him the next. Oh, oh, oh !"
cried Mr. Wontus, seizing his foot with both ha;ids and twist-
ing his mouth and eyes so as to make flices which the clown in
a pantomime would be delighted to imitate. " Had it bad
before, but never so bad as this." And again he indulged in
numerous, long-drawn-out pronunciations of the vowel 0.
Mr. Nidd, contraiy to custom, proffered his sympathies, and
Tommy ran about the room like a madman, seeking for some-
thing with which to alleviate Mr. Wontus's pain. " What
shall I do?" he cried.
" Go to the devil — for a doctor!" cried Mr. Wontus, look-
ing up at his servant with enraged eyes.
Had Mr. Wontus directed Thomas to proceed directly to the
top of the dome of the Capitol and there take his stand on a
single and particular hair on the head of Miss America (who
surveys her vast domain from that position), Thomas would
gladly have undertaken the rather difficult task ; as it was, the
order to go to his satanic majesty for a doctor was fixed in his
mind theoretically, and it never occurred to him that it was
very nearly impossible to execute the command literally until
he had reached the street. Once there, he was in a worse
quandary than ever. He had a very erroneous idea in his
head that Mr. Wontus, his guardian, almost father, was going
to die, and this lent its wings to his steps, and he flew to the
first door that came in his way and asked for a doctor. It is
hard to go amiss in a search for the disciples of ^sculapius
nowadays. In this instance, Mr. Thomson's call — the first
door — was rewarded by a young gentleman promising to be
with Mr. Wontus in a few moments. And he was as good as
his word, for Tommy had scarcely given answer to the questions
that were showered upon him than the door-bell rang and
the doctor was shown in.
" Don't make an infernal blunder and call it gout," cried
Mr. Wontus, interspersing his remarks with numerous large
and small O's, as the professional gentleman examined his foot.
100 WON TVS, OB
The physician whom Tommy had called in to see Mr. Won-
tas had evidently taken one or more lessons in " acumen," and
the disease was accordin<rly pronounced an acute rheumatism.
Giving a few directions as to the treatment of the foot, the
doctor passed judgment on the weather — as is usual — and
bowed himself out, promising to call again in the morning. It
is a little singular, but nevertheless noticeable at least, that
the presence and opinion of a physician generally bring-s with
it a more comfortable feeling on the part of the patient, and
Mr. Wontus was no exception to the rule. He felt easier the
moment the doctor entered the door, and when he departed
the patient was loud in his praise of the gentleman's great
ability and discernment.
Mr. "Wontus had the gout !
To be thus crippled at the very outset, and amid such stir-
ring scenes as were constantly transpiring almost within their
hearing, was a matter which weighed heavily on the corps.
Mr. Wontus, at best, could but hobble about his room with
the assistance of a chair ; yet, while he deeply deplored his
own situation, he also sympathized with the other membei-s
of the party, and insisted on their going out and enjoying
themselves, and they did as Mr. Wontus requested.
For the first day or two the invalid moaned and groaned in
solitude and without complaint, but on the third day he
became peevish, and avowed that nobody cared anything about
him. Of course, each member individually denied the soft
impeachment. Mr. Wilkins was particularly verbose in ex-
plaining how it came that he had not given Mr. Wontus the
attention he desired to. There were so many high officers of
the army and navy about the city that he found that it would
be greatly to the corps' advantage in the future for him to
cultivate their acquaintance. Mr. Wontus groaned assent, and
the corps went on as before, with the honorable exception of
Thomas Thomson, who, by dint of great perseverance, managed
to spare time enough to attend to his master during the moments
of leisure allowed him by Mr. Wilkins. who insisted on Thomas
accompanying him, and waiting at a little distance, during the
first-named gentleman's visits to the difierent dignitaries.
Mr. Wontus promised a large reward to the doctor if he
would make him well in '• short metre," and the doctor prom-
ised that he would; but his acumen taught him that the
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. JQI
moment his patient was well that moment his fees ceased, and
as doctors,— youno- doctors,— like other people, do not wish to
give up a o-ood tliiuu-, Mr. Wontus was destined to take name-
less quantities of medicine and undergo sundry operations, all
of which displayed the skill of the doctor, if it did nothing more.
How long a modest, unobtrusive, uninquiring gentleman
might live in any one of the numerous lodging-houses of
Washington without knowing who lived in the room above, or
below, or on either side of him, is but a matter of conjecture;
and this brings me to the duty of recording the fact that one
day, while Mr. Wontus was in his room alone and unattended
by any one, a soft knocking came at his door. It was an un-
usual occurrence, and, with some pain and not a little trouble,
he reached the door and opened it. A pair of wondering
eyes, looking from a fresh, handsome little face, which face
Wiis surrounded by a mass of crisp, curly hair, looked up into
his face, and stood still in innocent bewilderment. It is a
part of such natures as that of Mr. Wontus to be fond of
children, and the moment he caught sight of the child the
painful frown, which a moment before had taken possession
of his brow, gave place to a smile and a look of love, and he
urged the child to come into his room, That he would have
succeeded in securing the company of his little visitor there
can be no doubt in the minds of those who know how kindly
he could look when he wanted to ; but a weak, feminine voice
frustrated his plans by calling the child to come up-stairs.
Mr. Wontus was astonished. That he had a neighbor
whose presence he knew not of until just now was unmTstak-
able, and as the child commenced climbing the stairs, he shut
the door and threw himself on the bed. Absence from ex-
citement to one who has been accustomed to it will make the
dullest mind curious, and as Mr. Wontus lay on the bed his
thoughts turned to the voice, and his curiosity demanded the
satisfaction of knowing who it belonged to. From that mo-
ment he ceased to be peevish, and iiistead of complaining at
the want of attention on the part of the members of the corps
he insisted that they should go out and enjoy themselves, and
made sundry advances on Mr. Wilkins's pay, to allow that
gentleman a wider and more influential sphere of action.
Hour by hour he sat there alone, thinking of that voice,
and imagining all sorte of situations that that voice might fall
102 WOXTUS, OR
into, bj which it (the voice) would be compelled to call on
him for assistance. His mental condition was similar to that
governing passion in Mrs. Toodles. He mi^Jit be at the door,
and the voice might tumble down-stairs, and then it would be
his duty to pick it up ; or he might be taken suddenl}^ ill, and
the voice might hear him and rush to his assistance. These
and a great many more situations of similar import passed
through his mind, but still nothing transpired out of the usual
routine. If the mother had eyes like the child he should love
her ; he felt that that was a fixed fact, but he kept his
secret, and the corps was none the wiser, at least not then.
A day passed, and still another. The doctor found that
Mr. Wontus's foot would convalesce in spite of him, and as the
weather was now clear and mild, the patient was advised to
tiike a little exercise in the fresh air. To the utter astonish-
ment of all, Mr. Wontus flatly declined to do anything of the
kind, and pleaded a probable relapse. Mr. Xidd brought forth
the most seductive arguments, and Mr. AVilkins grew eloquent
over the sights that were to be seen and enjoyed ; but Mr.
Wontus was deaf and blind to all the charms spread before
him, and, besides, insisted that the other members of the corps
should go out and enjoy themselves to their fullest desire. He
was very comfortable, and since the pain had almost left his
foot he rather enjoyed remaining in the house. It was very
sly in the old gentleman to do that, and he felt that he was
playing the part of a hypocrite, but then he didn't know what
might happen, and he excused and justified himself on the
ground that it was all for the best.
During the hours that the friends were in-doors Mr. Wontus's
foot appeared to be seriously influenced by their presence, for at
such times it was full of shooting pains, which, strange to say, shot
ofi" entirely the moment the foot was relieved of their presence.
War demoralizes a great many people, and it looks just now
as if the demoralizing fever had taken serious hold of Mr.
Wontus, for up to now he has proven himself on all occasions
to be a mai^ of sterling integrity and truth. But —
" Love is full of unbefitting strains,
All wanton as a child, skipping and vain ;
Formed by the eye, and therefore like the eye ;
Full of sti-ange shapes, of habits, and of forms."
We take it, therefore, that Mr. Wontus was in love. With
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 103
whom ? A fantasia ; a tiling of the imagination ; a heing that
ho had never laid eyes on. But how was he to make " its "
acfjiiaintance ? This question he asked himself a score of times,
and each time left it unanswered. Should he buy a flute and
serenade beneath her window, or, what was better, at the foot
of the stairs? Injudicious, because more than one person
might claim the serenade ; impracticable, because he had never
played a note in his life. Should he hire the Marine Band ?
No, that would create inquiry. A happy thought struck him :
he would write her a sonnet.
With great preparation he seated himself at the table with
paper and ink before him. He dipped the pen into the ink,
and was about to write, when it occurred to him that he did
not know " its " (for thus he termed the charming unknown)
name. He would write to " its " eyes ! Again he dipped his
pen. But what color were "its" eyes? Blue, black, brown,
gray, hazel, or a combination of all the shades? Again he
faltered, and his face assumed a grave and thoughtful expres-
sion. Now came desperation. Yes, he would write ! Black
was his favorite color, and per consequence "it" must have
black eyes. Were they large and expressive, or small and dull?
He dismissed the thought w^ith an expletive, and sat with the
paper before him. But the Muses would not come at his call,
and he essayed again and again ; " I would give" was as far
as he could get. In vain he walked the floor and ran his fingers
through his hair. The inspiration had flown, and he was just
considering whether he should send anything at all, when a
gentle tap came at the door and set his heart all a flutter. " It "
was there ! that knock was a woman's ; and, with marvelous
speed, the paper was snatched from the table and consigned to
the closet, and things generally put out of sight.
" Come in !" cried the gentleman, throwing himself into a
chair, and belying his looks by trying to appear disinterested
and unconcerned.
The landlady made her appearance, and a shade of displeasure
jassed over Mr. Wontus's countenance.
"Excuse me, sir," said the lady.
"Certainly," said Mr. Wontus, demurely. "Walk in."
" I called," ccntinucd the lady, " to ask you if you wouldn't
allow your men to come up and assist me in moving some of
the furniture in the room above. I have a sick lady there, —
104 woxTus, on
poor thing! I'm afraid she's going to die, — and she wants to
be able to see out of the window from her bed."
" Have mj men ? Certainly not, madam !" cried Mr. Won-
tus, springing to his feet, with sympathy marked on every
lineament of his countenance. '• Have ray men ! You shall
have me, madam !" And despite the landlady's efforts to dis-
suade him, Mr. Wontus would hear of nothing but the ac-
ceptance of his personal services.
If it is true that '* sympathy is akin to love," then it should
fjllow that love was akin to sympathy ; but since it makes no
material difference, I take leave of the argument which might
be brought to bear on the question, and proceed to relate the
fact that, without exactly knowing how, Mr. Wontus found
himself in the apartment above his own.
Deeply sympathetic at all times, Mr. Wontus took a survey
of the meanly-furnished room, with its rickety bedstead and
pallid occupant, and the exultant, expectant look of love which
had a moment before oversf)read his countenance suddenly
gave place to one of commiseration and sorrow. His heart
was too full for utterance, and his eyes were either riveted
upon the bed or wandering from the bed to the prattling child
at the window. The day was bright and beautiful without,
but the heavy though ragged curt<iins which shaded the soli-
tary dormer-window threw an additional gloom over the
already gloomy attic. Coarse, well-worn strips of dirty carpet
covered the floor ; two or three broken chairs and a high, old-
fashioned bureau stood like spectres in different parts of the
room ; a small stove and a table by the bedside completed the
inventory. Mr. Wontus was not accustomed to the sight of
poverty and misery, and as he assisted in placing the furniture
a crystal tear came stealing into his eye. His thoughts were
busy with plans for the alleviation of the suffering woman,
who thanked him with her great black eyes in language which
no words could express. Quickly, as if actuated by some sud-
den resolve, he drew out his wallet, and as he placed a note in
the dainty fingers he kissed the ruby lips of the child. The
tear was gone, but he blushed as he caught sight of the land-
lady's eye fixed inquiringly on his. No word escaped his lips,
save a few almost inaudible expressions for the improvement
of the sufferer, and he walked from the room and sought the
privacy of his own apartment.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 105
It can never be known what INIr. Wontiis's thou-lits really
were on this occasion, but since he felt it necessary to take
Thomas Thomson into his confidence, and made a regular
pack-horse of that gentleman in transportmg provisions coal,
and other necessities to the room above, it is reasonable to
believe that there was something of importance on his^mind
Day after day he visited the sick-room, bringing light and
pleasure with him, until he finally commenced to believe what
he had never believed before, and that was that he was ot
some use in the world after all. Such was the delicacy of his
thoudits that the other members of the corps Tommy ex-
cepted, were kept in ignorance of the facts, although their
suspici^ons were aroused, and during all his visits to the invalid
he had never so much as inquired her name or her history.
He had thought of it often, and one evening, while iommy
was busy at the fire, he ventured to ask of the ady a recital
of her troubles. What afterwards occurred will find a place
in another chapter.
CHAPTER IX.
THE SICK woman's STORY— THE RIVALS— LOVE— HATE-
MATRIMONY — MISFORTUNE— A MAN WHICH WONTUS
THINKS HE KNOWS — THE ARREST.
Mr. Wontus sat on a chair by the bedside of the sick
woman, and, as this may appear a little out of the line ot
strict propriety, as it is talked about in modern society, I may
be excused for mentioning the fact that it was not known but
that the gentleman was married ; in fact, his appearance (and
some people judge by that) went a great way toward mipress-
in- one with the idea that he was both a husband and a father
At any rate, he had been so delicate in his attentions, had
shown such noble qualities of heart and mind, that the pro-
priety of his sitting by the sick woman's bedside never occurred
to anybody, if I may except the landlady who soemed to t.ake
a sudden dislike to the sick lady and pay her as little attention
as was admissible, but at the same time was quite courteous and
attentive to Mr. Wontus, all of which Mr. Wontus did not notice.
106 WOXTUS, OR
As the unfortunate woman lay reclinin£r upon her support
of pillows, smoothed and arranged by the kind hands of Mr.
AVontus, she was beautiful in her misery. Her raven hair,
blushed carelessly back from a noble forehead, fell in wavy
masses upon the pillows, and gave to her pale face a back-
ground which displayed the beauty of her features in an
almost artistic manner. Her mouth was small and finely
chiseled, and her lips, though pale and bloodless, wore an
almost constant curl of hauteur. Sickness and trouble had
rendered her the wreck of a woman who, in her better days,
could, and no doubt did, command the homage of the courtiers
and gallants of her circle. Her manner was easy and ladylike
under all circumstances, and she appeared to be possessed of
the pleasurable faculty of knowing how to make those she
came in contact with perfectly at ease ; and Mr. Wontus won-
dered, as he sat there by her side, that he should feel much
more comfortable than he had ever known himself to feel
before in the society of a woman.
" My story, sir," said she, at length, "is but a poor one at
best, and to you may be a thrice-told tale ; yet, if you desire
to hear it, I will tell you." And she looked at ]Mr. Wontus
with her large eyes, until that gentleman asked Tommy if it
wasn't very warm, and directed him to open the stove door;
then, turning to the lady, he assured her that he had no de-
sire to be inquisitive, "but — but "
He could go no further,
"This terrible war; this wicked war; what misery has it
entailed!" She paused, but did not seem to notice ]Mr. Won-
tus's perplexity. " But for it — no, no, it would have been
the same !" She closed her eyes for a moment, and appeared
to be thinking. "My native place is in Alabama,"' she con-
tinued, her delicate white hand nei"vously clutching the bed-
covering, "and my family are direct descendants of the Ogle-
thorpes, one of the oldest families in the State, sir. My
father was one of the most respected men in the State, and
held many positions of importance and honor by the will of
the people, — a man of generous heart, a chivalric gentleman
of the old school, and so much unlike the miserable, grasping
wretches who now fill this cit}', as to seem to belong to another
race. My mother died when I was quite young, and, being
the only child, every emotion of my father's heart was cen-
THE CORPS OF OBSEUVATION. 107
tered in me. I was never sent to school, but was educated at
home, under the eye of my father, by a governess. Tliis
woman, although a native of the State of Massachusetts, w.iS
wedded to the South and the Southern people, and her every
energy seems now to have been devoted toward instilling into
my very blood a love for the institutions of my State and a
disregard for the cringing, mean-spirited people of the North.
"It may have been," she continued, after another pause,
*' that these principles were inculcated by the direction of my
father ; "but whether they were or not, He who reigns on high
knows that I have lived to see that chivalry is not confined to
the South or meanness to the North."
;Mr. Wontus said he guessed she was right, and she continued :
" I was but little over sixteen when I first made the ac-
quaintance of Lathrop Blakely, a young gentleman of fine
appearance and engaging manners, a resident of Ohio, who
came to our parts every season to purchase cotton for his
father's factory. It seems now, although it did not then, that
my father was under many monetary obligations to Mr.
Blakely, for, while we used to call him a Yankee and an abo-
litionist, yet he was always received at my father's plantation
with the greatest courtesy. He was calm and mild in his
manners, and so entirely diiferent from the young gentlemen
that I had been in the custom of meeting, that I was pleased
with his attentions and charmed by his frank, open manner.
I felt that he loved me, and only waited a favorable opportu-
nity to make it known ; and I knew that I loved him, — yes,
loved him deeply, sincerely."
Mr. Wontus sighed and took the child upon his knee
(where it soon fell asleep), because he felt that it was neces-
sary that he should do or say something just at that particular
moment.
" Time wore on," continued the invalid, " and the happiness
which had filled my young heart for nearly two years was about
to be crowned by the event of my marriage with Lathrop
Blakely (she raised her hands to her eyes and sighed). Ad-
joining our plantation was that of a gentleman, whose name I
shall not mention, — a gentleman of equal standing and wealth
with my father, — whose family consisted of a daughter about
my age and a son a few years my senior. I had danced and
ridden with this young man, and admired him for his bold,
108 WOXTUS, OR
defiant, and cliivalric bearing. A man of splendid proportions,
■with easy, crraceful manners, and a jaunty, careless carriage, he
■was just such a man as most girls would admire ; and while I,
in common with others, did admire him. yet I did not love him.
Like all others in our section, he had been educated a Southron,
and if there was anything that he prided himself on, it was his
supeiiority over Mr. Blakely. I had often listened to his cut-
ting remarks concerning the birth and business of my lover, and
also to his vows of regard for myself The first I was accus-
tomed to hear from childhood, the second I laughed over, and
never gave it a moment of serious consideration, until one day
he threw himself at my feet, vowed his love, and pleaded for
me to be his -wife. Up to this moment life had been but a
dream. I hesitated, because his flashing eye warned me of the
passion which filled him, and at length succeeded in sending
him away with an evasive answer, and without confessing my
love for Mr. Blakely.
'• Thus far I had acted independently in my aflfairs, but the
moment my dream of undisturbed happiness was dispelled I
sought the advice of my father. He was grieved and surprised
at first, because, as he said, it was very well to have business
with these Northerners, but to become related to them by mar-
riage, and more particularly an abolitionist, -was something he
could never agree to. My grief at these -words knew no bounds.
I shut myself up in my room and refused to see anybody for
days, when at length my father insisted on me seeing my
neighbor-lover, and infonned me that -while he could not ap-
prove of my marriage -with Mr. Blakely. yet it was necessary
that nothing should appear on the surface at present, and my
letters should be written in the usual vein ; on the other hand,
he was of the opinion that our neighbor was the most fitting
match, because of his high-toned social standing in the com-
munity, — his birth and fortune. Another thing was the fact
that our plantations were adjoining and our negroes had inter-
mamed. He did not want to influence me. he said ; but he
presented such a doleful picture of Mr. Blakely, whose father
might have been but a laborer, and suggested the probabilities
of the two contiguous plantations becoming as one, that, with-
out appearing to do so, my mind was half-made up as to my
future conduct ere I had time to think the subject over. The
idea of being a Yankee's wife was new to me ; it had never
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 109
presented itself to me before in that light, but now that I came
to think it over, the very thought was repugnant.
" From that moment my behavior toward my neighbor-
lover was altered. We sang together, rode together, and
scarcely a day passed but we saw each other. He was so dif-
ferent from Mr. Blakely that I often wondered at myself when
I thought over some of my actions ; but he seemed so noble,
was so fine-looking, and withal so gallant, that I almost com-
pelled myself to love him without knowing exactly why, except
that his family was one of the oldest in the country and it was
my duty as a Southern woman.
" Up to this time no particular day had been named for our
nuptials. Letters had passed between Mr. Blakely and my-
self as usual, but with a certain ambiguity on my part. Time
passed swiftly by, and the day was drawing near for the regu-
lar visit of my affianced. I had nerved myself for the inter-
view which I knew must come, and looked with confidence to
my new love for support. He came and we met. On his
part all was love and tenderness ; on my part, polite courtesy
and the part of a friend. I dared not break off the match sud-
denly, for fear of injuring some of my father's arrangements,
but Satan came to my assistance and assisted me in the task.
" He asked me if I had ceased to love him, and I returned
evasive replies. He wished me to name the day on which the
nuptials should be celebrated, but I laughed the matter off. I
had suddenly grown giddy-headed and trifling, and many times
during his stay I played the part of a coquette. I would
listen to his plans for our future, would acquiesce in them in
a gay, thoughtless manner, and in a moment after would join
my neighbor-lover, and go galloping away through the fields,
leaving Mr. Blakely to entertain himself as best he might.
To none of these actions did he once object; occasionally
twitting me with my new fimcy was all the notice he bestowed
upon them. Added to this were different slurs and inuendoes
from my neighbor-lover whenever they met, and I fancied at
times that a spark of anger gathered in his eye. If it did it
was momentary, and no word of complaint escaped his lips.
At first this angered me, but when I came to remember our
relationship and witness his patient, loving manner, I could
but admire him, and I felt my heart growing nearer and
nearer to him each day.
10
110 WOXTUS, OR
" It was the latter end of November, 186-. The whole
South was in a blaze of excitement. An abolition President
had been elected ; the negroes were to be set free ; a war of
races was to follow, and the people of the South were to be
trodden underfoot. Mr. Blakely was still with us, and I fre-
quently heard that the young men of our section had threat-
ened him with violence. But he did not hurry himself, and
I longed to tell him of his danger, but was prevented by fear
of the word ' traitor.' December came. South Carolina
declared her independence, and the Southern men who held
places in the army and navy were coming home to take part in
the grand fight for liberty and independence. Still, Mr.
Blakely remained to finish up his business and to receive my
answer.
" Men waited on him to have his views on the subject, and
he gave them without hesitation, and with so much candor
and earnestness that none could dislodge him. He believed
that the whole affair would blow over when the people became
more familiar with the real facts and the ambitious aims of the
demagogues who had set themselves up as leaders. He denied
that the government desired to assail the institutions of the
South in any manner, and confessed that he had voted for
Lincoln. These views becoming noised about, difierent gentle-
men waited upon my father and chided him for harboring such
an individual ; for myself, I could not respect, much less love,
a man who voted for Lincoln, and I informed him of my de-
termination to cancel the engagement. He appealed to my
sense of honor, but I was deaf alike to his appeals and his
entreaties, and left the house to spend a few days with our
neighbors, to rid myself of his presence."
Wontus changed his position, and seemed desirous to say
something, but no sound passed his lips, and the invalid con-
tinued :
" Arriving at my friend's house, at sunset, I was somewhat
surprised to find groups of men and horses in diflferent parts
of the lawn, all the men in high glee over some event of the
future or of the present. I passed into the house, and there
found quite a number of my acquaintances, who greeted me as
a Yankee. I indignantl}^ inquired the cause for their thus
addressing me, and was answered by my neighbor-lover to the
efi"ect that the Yankee, Blakely, had insulted the Southern
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION: HI
people ; that he was a spy, and that it had been determined
upon to give him a coat of tar and feathers and send him
home. The hidies and gentlemen were in high spirits, and
only waited the coming of some others who had promised to
be present. As we stood there, chatting and drawing word-
pictures of the scene about to take place, a note was put in my
hand from Mr. Blakely, which informed me that my treatment
had caused him to suddenly make up his mind to return to
Ohio, and he would leave early on the following morning,
" ' There !' I cried, walking to my neighbor-lover and putting
the note into his hands, ' who says I'm a Yankee now ?' "
Mr. Thomson looked at Mr. Wontus, and that gentleman
grew red in the face, but neither uttered a word.
" It was the first sacrifice that I made for the South, sir,"
continued the lady, without noticing Mr. Wontus, " and when
I heard the shouts that greeted the reading of the note, and
it was understood that it was a voluntary offering from me, I
felt proud of myself and my action.
" No time was to be lost or the bird would be gone ; but
some of the ladies insisted on being in the neighborhood at
the time the affair came off, and finally the gentlemen were
persuaded to take us along. I was glad to show them that I
would and could make a sacrifice.
" The night was clear, and the moon shone down brighter,
it seemed to me, than ever it had done before. Our cavalcade
was a grand one, numbering some twenty gentlemen, mounted
on spirited horses and surrounding the ladies, who rode in the
centre of the line. I dared not give myself time to think of
what I had done, so listened to the music of the horses' feet,
and to the plans to be acted upon when we should reach my
own home. Thirty minutes brought us within sight of the
house, and here the troop separated, so as to entirely surround
the house and prevent escape, leaving a guard of honor with
the ladies, with directions to proceed at once to the house and
announce our presence."
" Very good plan," said Mr. Wontus, dryly.
" My neighbor-lover was by my side, and as we rode along
he so excited me with his remarks concerning my regard for
the Yankee that I was ready to do almost anything to convince
him, and all the world besides, that I was ready to make almost
any sacrifice that might be demanded of mo. I so expressed
112 wo NT us, OR
myself, and, on alighting at my fjither's door, T was the first
to rush in and acquaint Mr. Blakely with the fact that there
was no occasion for him to fear, as our young gentlemen only
intended to provide him with an appropriate suit of clothes. I
shall never forget the look that he gave me as I thus laughingly
spoke to him of the ordeal he was about to pass through.
" ' You are joking, Catherine,' said he, at length, first look-
ing inquiringly at my father, who sat opposite to him, and
then glancing at me. I returned his glance with a look of
pride and defiance, and my father said he feared that what T
said was true, but remarked that he was surprised that the
aiFair was to take place now ; he had thought that he would
have had an opportunity of warning him of his danger, thus
giving him a chance to get out of the country ; he was about
to tell him when I entered.
" At first Mr. Blakely's face wore a puzzled, incredulous
expression, but as the clatter of hoofs sounded on the sward,
and the buzz of suppressed conversation and laughter beciime
more distinct in the stillness of the night, his lips curled with
ill-concealed scorn, and his blue eyes sparkled and flashed like
living coals ; his very body seemed to grow larger.
" ' What am I to do ?' he asked, rising from his chair, and
speaking in his usual mild way, and again he bent his gaze
on me.
" As he stood there he looked noble, the perfect embodiment
of a true and manly courage, and I felt the hot blood rushing
to my temples. I forgot that he was a Yankee ; I thought
only of his goodness, his gentleness, his afi'ection, and at that
moment would have given all I possessed in the world to have
had the courage to throw mj'self upon his heaving bosom and
swear anew my undying love and devotion.
" Oh, God !" she continued, after a moment's pause, during
which a tear stole into Mr. AYontus's eye, and Tommy drew
his chair nearer, " what I suffered at that moment ! Until
then I never knew what love was ; pride had filled its place
until the ti-ying moment came, and only then was I able to
distinguish the difference between the false and real. I looked
into his eyes and read there the mingled love and pain of a
true heart, but I lacked the courage to do right, and persisted
in forwarding that which my heart whispered was wrong. He
stood with one hand upon the table awaiting a reply. Ten
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 113
thousand thoughts passed through my head like flashing me-
teors, but no AYords rose to my Hps.
'' ' What does this mean ?' he cried, as numerous heavy foot-
steps were heard in the hall. ' Why am I thus treated by a
people whom I defy to put a finger on one action in my life
other than that which should become an honorable man and a
Christian ? Would you have me deny what I believe to be
right? Have you no respect for an honest difference of
opinion '
" ' Damn such opinions ! we've had too much of them !' cried
an excited voice, interrupting Mr. Blakely, as a number of
men entered the room, and ranged themselves in a semi-circle
around the table. I looked around, my neighbor-lover was by
my side, but not a syllable passed Mr. Blakely's compressed
lips. Slowly he elevated his head, and then folding his arms
he cast a glance about him, and the momentary silence became
oppressive. It was on my lips to appeal for mercy, but fiery
eyes were upon me, and I hesitated.
" ' What will you have of me, gentlemen ?' asked Blakely,
without changing his position.
" My father left the room.
" ' We want you to leave this country,' said one, whom I
recognized as a member of the State Legislature.
" ' When ?'
"'Now!'
" ' There is no train until morning. I will depart with
pleasure then ; but first tell me, gentlemen, why I am visited
in this strange, mysterious, and, I may say, discourteous man-
ner. Have you any reason for it ?'
" ' Reason ?' cried the spokesman, ' reason ? aye, thousands,
tens of thousands ! You are an abolitionist ; you would free
our niggers, you would murder and plunder the people of the
South ; you have robbed us for years, you have insulted us in
the national halls at Washington. You have wrongfully, and
without the consent of the people, elected a man to the presi-
dency. You, or your people, have encouraged our niggers to
run away ; have hid them from their rightful masters (a mur-
mur ran through the assemblage), and we cannot and will not
have it any longer. We are a proud people, a brave and chival-
ric people, but in this we are united : that come weal or come woe,
we will stand by South Carolina and her sisters forever !' A
10*
114 wo XT us, OR
wild shout rans: out upon the air as the gentleman finished.
I looked for Mr. Blakelj to tremble, but he did not; his face
wore the same clear, firm look, and he said, —
" ' I voted for Mr. Lincoln, gentlemen, because I believe him
to be a pure and honest man, for no other, — but I must deny
the other charges. I could prove to you conclusively that you
are wrong in most of your conclusions ; that you are the in-
struments of a wily set of unprincipled men, who seek to excite
your hatred for the government, that their own selfish ends
may be gratified. But this is neither time nor place '
" He was interrupted by shouts from those on the lawn.
' Fetch him out !' ' Don't listen to the mudsill !' ' Hang the
thief!' rang out from every side.
" A movement was made by my neighbor-lover to approach
Mr. Blakely, but he stepped back as Blakely seized a stick of
wood and addressed himself in a loud, clear voice to those
about him.
" ' Gentlemen,' he said, backing against the wall, ' I have
done you no harm. I have come among you on business, and
sooner would I have my right hand fall withered at my side
than seek to disturb you by any word or act calculated to ex-
cite anger or commotion among your people. I am a peace-
fully-disposed man, but like other men I have passions which
can be aroused, and I assure you, that while I am perfectly
willing and ready to do anything in reason that you may ask
of me, yet I shall return ^-iolence for violence.'
" A wild guffaw greeted his remarks, and one of the men
rushed forward, but was deterred from further action by the
uplifted stick of wood. How my heart quaked ! I admired
him more than ever. A whispered conversation now touk
place among some of the gentlemen, and I was commencing
to hope that some pacific measure might be adopted ; but in
this I was mistaken, for the voices on the lawn became more
clamorous and louder. My neighbor-lover looked at me, but
my face gave him no encouragement, and then he stepped for-
ward and demanded of Blakely to lay down his weapon. He
refused to do it, and then such a scene ensued as I had never
witnessed before, and hope I never shall again. Quick as
thought three of them closed in with him. I saw his weapon
descend like a flash of lightning, and the three men were
stretched bleeding on the floor, while the warm blood spurted
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. ' 115
in a stream from Mr. Blakcly's nose, and a deep crimson gash
marked its fearful outlines on his forehead.
" 'Have you no respect for ladies?' he cried. But I heard
no more : the rest of the gentlemen closed in upon him, the
member of the legislature standing off, a passive spectator ;
the ladies left the room and retired to my chamber, where the
exultant shout and boisterous laughter gave us the intelligence
that the work was being accomplished."
" Thunderation !" cried Mr. Wontus, excitedly ; and then,
quickly excusing himself, he begged the woman to go on with
her story.
'■'■ Some of the ladies who had met Mr. Blakely before made
remarks of pity, but so high was the excitement among all
classes of people that pity was soon changed to scorn, and the
verdict of all was that it served him right. For myself, I
w^as glad when all was over, and when the gentlemen amus-
ingly described how he had looked in his coat of tar and
feathers I laughed as loud as the loudest. I inquired how he
had acted during the operation, and was informed that he not
only fought like a tiger until overpowered, but had made sev-
eral sore heads, as some of the gentlemen were able to testify
from actual experience.
" I inquired as to his whereabouts, and was informed that
a portion of the ' committee,' as they styled themselves, had
taken him to Montgomery, from w^hence he w^ould soon be
able to reach his home, and where his clothes and effects
would find him in the morning.
" Amid the dancing and festivities that followed w'hile the
party was awaiting the return of those who had escorted Mr.
Blakely into the capital, all w^as forgotten but the fact that a
most commendable act had been performed, and ere the night
was spent I was the betrothed of my neighbor-lover, amid the
plaudits and congratulations of all the gay assemblage. It was
a suitable reward, they all said, for my lover's devotion and
activity in the cause. My father expressed himself as pleased
with my action, and on the very day — Christmas eve — on
which the election for delegates to attend the convention
called by Governor Moore to determine the position of Ala-
bama in the coming struggle took place, I became the wife of
— of my neighbor- lover."
" Was that your husband's name?" queried Tommy, inno-
116 WOXTUS, OR
cently. Mr. Wontus frowned, and directed Tommy to hold
his tongue.
'' In the exciting scenes which followed," said the woman,
without noticing the interruption, *' my husband was a most ac-
tive participant. The young men were rallying from all quar-
ters of the State, and on the eleventh day of January, when the
ordinance of secession was passed by the convention, which
commenced its sittings on the seventh, my husband was chosen
as a sort of envoy to proceed to this city and consult with the
members of Congress as to future action. You know, sir, as
well as I do, the public convulsions that followed quickly on
the heels of secession. AVith these came brilliant prospects,
and we lived here amid the most charming associations. Gen-
tlemen connected with the government and high in authority
were our constant visitors, for my husband was one of the
most bitter secessionists, and only played the part of a law-
abiding citizen that he might be better enabled to see and
know what was going on among the Yankees.
" When Sumter was captured the independence of the South
became a fixed fact, and, sir, we shall live, I hope, to see the
noble sons of my Southern home triumph over these crowds
of Hessians, who are constantly parading through the streets
of Washington, to desecrate the soil of Virginia with their
Vandal feet."
'• Madam," said Mr. Wontus, apologetically, as though he
disliked to break in upon the story and yet felt that it was his
duty to refute the charge, " I think, — I know you are mis-
taken. The soldiers of the government are confined to no
particular class of society, but come from the ranks of the
rich and highborn, as well as from the poor and lowly."
" But let me tell you," continued the invidid without ap-
pearing to notice the interruption, '• how it comes that you
should find me in the condition that I am in at present."
Mr. Wontus begged her to proceed.
" After we had fairly commenced and our communications
were cut off. we found it necessary to seek means of support,
and my husband accepted a position in one of the departments,
where he remained until we were informed, in a manner which
I do not care to state, that he had been appointed, by Grov-
ernor Moore, a major in one of the Alabama regiments, and
as soon as the necessary arrangements could be made he left
THE CORPS OF OnSERVATIOy. \\^
for the South, to protect his home anj fireside. He would
have taken nie with liim, but I felt perfectly easy, and be-
lieved that I had better wait here, where I could be of great
service in supplying information, until the war has concluded
and the South been guaranteed her rights. Not being accus-
tomed to economy, and the birth of my child occurring, I
soon consumed all the money I had, and finding it impossible
to communicate with my friends in Alabama and procure more,
as a last resort I accepted a situation in one of the depart-
ments, — for I assure you that until recently there were
plenty of dear friends in this city w^ho loved the South,—
where I remained until attacked with this terrible fever."
Mr. Wontus said "yes ma'am," and looked puzzled.
" But for my child," — and the woman cast a loving glance
on the sleeping little one in Mr. Wontus's arms, — " I would,
woman as I am, dare all the perils of the journey, and follow
my husband ; I would stand by his side and encourage him
to brave and noble deeds !" She paused and raised her hands
to her temples. « But no, it is willed otherwise ; but if God
is good enough to give me once again my health and strength,
the name of Flick "
"Flick, did you say, ma'am?" cried Mr. Wontus, spring-
ing to his feet, and almost letting the babe fall from his arms.
" Did I understand you to say Flick ? — Major Flick ?"
'' What have I done? What have I said?". cried the in-
valid, the blood rushing up to her thin, pale cheeks and her
w^hole body trembling with emotion.
"Did I understand you to say Flick?" and Mr. Wontus's
manner was that of intense interest. " You have nothing to
fear from me, madam ; a woman — a lone woman — is always
entitled to my respect (the gentleman placed his disengaged
hand on those ribs which are supposed to cover and shelter
the heart), and more particularly one who is in distress."
It was some time before the lady could overcome her emo-
tions sufiicient to inform Mr. Wontus that the name she had
accidentally uttered was really the name of her husband, and
riow that all was known she gave full vent to her pent-up feel-
ings, and, with tears rolling down her cheeks, she implored her
hearers not to mention the fact of her husband being in the
rebel army. The scene was deeply affecting, so much so in
fact, that our hero turned away his head and asked Thomas
113 wo XT us, OR
Thomson, who was crazinp: listlessly into the fire, what he was
crying- about. Tommy might have put the same (question to
Mr. Wontus with perfect propriety.
Had the lady asked Mr. Wontus to go hang himself it is
highly probable that that gentleman would have promised to
do it, without ever once considering the consequences. But
she did not. All that was asked of him was that he should
not tell anybody about her husband being in the rebel army.
This he believed he could do without violating any law, human
or divine; in fact he was on the point of informing the lady
that he knew her husband, and that he believed from her de-
scription of him that the gentleman was at that very moment
fighting a liquid enemy most bravely, in the City of Brotherly
Love.
I say he was about to do this ; but he did not, for the com-
mand '^ Halt ! Order arms !' and the sharp ring of muskets
on the pavement in front of the house attracted his attention.
" Ah ! soldiei*s," said he, gazing out of the window, with the
child still in his arms. " Brave fellows !"
The officer in command ascended the steps and rang the
bell.
" Coming here !" he exclaimed, and then suddenly recollect-
ing himself, he turned to the lady. " Don't disturb yourself,
madam," said he, soothingly, " no harm, I assure you ; some
mistake ;" and tenderly placing the child on the bed by the
side of its mother, Mr. Wontus walked down-staire to his own
apartments, followed by Mr. Thomson.
'• First floor, front," said the landlady, as if answering an
inquiry ; and this was followed by heavy footsteps on the stairs.
'- Throw open the door, wide," cried Mr. Wontus, to his
servant, rubbing his hands with delight. '' I have longed to
see these brave fellows, and now some most lucky mLstake
brings them right to m}' very anus."
x\n officer and a sergeant stood on the threshold.
" Mr. Wontus ?" queried the officer.
"My name, sir," said Mr. Wontus; "walk in, sir. I am
happy to see you ;" and he bustled about and, with the assist-
ance of Tommy, placed a decanter and ghisses on the table.
" Come in, gentlemen, come in." The officer and soldier walked
in, and were about to explain the object of their visit, but Mr.
Wontus would hear nothing until they had partaken of his
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. Hg
hospitality. Tliis done, IMr. Wontiis insisted on his visitors
being seated, but they declined.
" We have an unpleasant duty to perform, sir," said the
officer, after a little hesitation.
" Yes, yes," cried Mr. Wontus, his eyes speaking the pleas-
ure he felt. " It's your business — necessary, gentlemen, ne-
cessary !" and he threw himself back in his chair as though he
had done a wonderful deed.
"You are Mr. Wontus?"
" I am."
" I arrest you."
For a moment Mr. Wontus sat in speechless astonishment,
and Thomas Thomson looked as though he would like to be
somewhere else. The scene was distressing ; the look of joy
had given place to one of deep distress.
" Good joke, good joke !" said Mr. Wontus, recovering him-
self after a time, and laughing heartily.
" Excuse me, sir," said the officer, " but my time is precious ;
you will please make yourself ready to accompany this man ;"
and then turning to the sergeant he gave him directions to
convey Mr. Wontus to the provost-marshal's office, and with-
out further ceremony left the room.
" Come," said the sergeant.
'* Me ?" asked Mr. Wontus, his mouth openingr with wonder
" Yes." ^ "
" Mistake," said Thomas Thomson, laconically.
" No talk, or I'll take you," said the sergeant, casting a de-
preciating glance on Tommy.
Mr. Thomson was silent from that moment, and his master
was so completely overwhelmed with the condition in which
he found himself that he sat like a man who had suddenly
lost his senses.
" Come up here, a couple of you," cried the sergeant from
the window, to the men below.
" There must be some mistake," cried Mr. Wontus, recover-
ing himself.
" Don't know," said the sergeant ; " it's none of my business."
A happy thought struck Mr. Wontus : " What am I charged
with, and where is your authority?"
" I don't know anything about the charge ; here's my au-
thority," and the soldier tapped his musket with his knuckles.
120 WOXTUS, OR
Mr. Wontus now endeavored to persuade the sergeant that
it was all a mistake ; that he wasn't the man ; that there must
be another man by his name. Then he fell to coaxing and
pleading, but the sergeant was inexorable.
Then Mr. Wontus pointed to his foot and declared that he
could not walk — that he could not go — it was impossible 1
To all of this the sergeant only smiled incredulously, and
informed Mr. Wontus that if he was not ready to go with him
of his own free will and accord, the soldiers would carry him ;
and preparations were being made for that important event, by
some of the men taking oft' their belts, when Mr. Wontus con-
cluded that discretion was the better part of valor, and prepared
to accompany the sergeant and party.
CHAPTER X.
INTRODUCES MR. NIDD AS A CRITIC, AND COMMENTS ON
SUNDRY PUBLIC INSTITUTIONS.
The good news from the Southern and Western depart-
ments ; the bold and uncompromising stand of the new
Secretary of War, the probabilities of an earl}' movement of
the Grand Army of the Potomac, under the leadei-ship of
McClellan, gave to the nation a new lease on life, in the spring
of 1862. Up to this time leniency, and an evident desire to
look over all that it conveniently could, had been the policy of
the government. That it was a mistaken one, certainly none
who remember those days will hesitate to say. But the idea
seemed to be prevalent in official circles that the "uprising"
would be over in a little while, and then all the sorrows and
heart-burnings that might be engendered would be palliated
and rendered more easily healed. But now the condition of
afiairs commenced to change, and while the same leniency was
practiced, so far as possible, among the military authorities in
the field, yet a difi"erent path was opened up in the cities in the
States not in rebellion. The leniency of the government had
been mistaken for fear by the enemies of the Union, and
treason raised her bloody- hand fearle::sly, in the very streets
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. \2\
of the capital of the nation. Now for the first time the au-
thorities undertook the delicate task of dealing with that
despicable class who, while lacking the manly courage to be
open foes, did their worst in a secret, stealthy manner, to
paralyze the government by sowing seeds of discord among the
ignorant, and stabbing at the vitals of the army by giving in-
formation to the enemy, and thus thwarting every effort to
bring about an early settlement of the difficulties. The
country had been so long in peace, and the people had become
so thoroughly accustomed to obey the law, that those in high
places who sought to do damage sheltered themselves behind
the habeas corpus, and defied the power of the nation.
Treason had almost become popular, and yet the government
stood inactive. But a brighter day was dawning, and the bold
Btand taken by some of the military authorities in the Southern
departments was quickly followed by the arrest and incarcera-
tion of the men in the North who were doing greater damage
to the cause than the battles of the armed hosts of the
South.
It was unfortunate that Mr. Wontus went to Washington.
It was unfortunate weather. It was unfortunate that he
should be laid up after getting to Washington. It was un-
fortunate that he should fall in love with a voice. It was
unfortunate that his kindly nature should induce him to
spend so long a time with a sick lady. But it was particu-
larly unfortunate that his brief pleasure should have such a
quick and startling termination. So it was, however, and
none of the other members of the club, if I may except Mr.
Thomas Thomson, had partaken of any of these unfortunate
mishaps. On the contrary, Messrs. Nidd and Wilkins had
been from the very outset in the very best of spirits : the
latter gentleman, in fact, was fairly steeped in spirits most of
his time ; for, as a natural consequence, he had made himself
an indispensable guest among the soldiers who thronged the
city at the time, and no man could have made himself more
at home than did Mr. Wilkins among the men who had
learned, or were then learning, to look on to-morrow as a
myth.
The avenue, with its myriad of hotels of high and low de-
gree, was his constant promenade, and there Mr. Nidd would
leave him in the morning ; but it was not in the province of
F 11
122 ^woyrus, or
r man to tell where he could be fimnd in the evening. As for
Mr. Nidd, that gentleman's habits had undergone very little
change, and when he left his lodgings in the morning he could
be looked for, with the same regularity that we look for the
sun, in his seat in the gallery of the House, a little to the
right above the clock, and directly opposite to the Speaker. For
once the feeling of patriotism and love of country was para-
mount to that of greed and gain, and the members made the
proceedings of that deliberative body more interesting and
exciting than they usually are or were. It was fine enter-
tainment for Mr. Nidd, and, in fact, for every one else except
the reporters ; and there he sat hour after hour, and wondered,
as many had done before and man}^ will continue to do, that
the halo of glory which had surrounded so many men, as he
had read of them in New York, should fide away so quickly
and become so commonplace and tiresome on a nearer view.
Where were all the magnificent heads and wise-looking faces ?
No answer was vouchsafed ; but before him were men who
looked and acted just as he saw men look and act at home,
and he concluded at length that either the members were of
less mental calibre than he had been taught to believe they
were, or he himself was not up to that standard of judgment
•which allows a man to discriminate correctly between the
ring of the true and false metal. As but few men are ever
ready to condemn their own judgment, Gascon Nidd pro-
nounced the House wanting in — what some people would be
inclined to consider very requisite — brains, and from that mo-
ment he enjoyed the proceedings the same as he would a
comedy on the stage.
On a fly-leaf of Mr. Nidd's memorandum book I find the
following notes, which I take the liberty of reproducing, al-
though they were evidently not intended for publication :
House, "Wednesday. — Little man ; bald head ; damn fool ;
talks all the time ; mouth full of pebbles ; nobody listens but
big man with glasses. Shameful waste of time. Little man
wants something ; nobody knows or seems to care what ; big
man don't want him to have it ; little man red in face ;
friend tells him not to bust. Big man says it isn't con-
stitutional ; little man wants to be heard, for the great love
he's got for the government ; big man with glasses says i/oitr
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION, 123
love (laugh), and shakes his fist at the Speaker, and that
gentleman hammers on a stone with his mallet, and says,
"Favor, aye! Contrary, no!" Nobody hears him, and he
says, " Ayes have it," and that matter is settled. Clerk says,
"i)'e it enacted, and so forth'' and sits down. Mr. Blinkum
says he hopes the bill will pass. Mr. Slasher says he can't
see it. Blinkum hopes he won't object, but Slasher does
obje(A, and calls all the other members' attention to the fact
that he does object. The other members pay attention to
him by going into the cloak-room, or by reading the news-
papers in their seats. Mr. Blinkum says Slasher wants to
clog the wheels of legislation ; that his bill is harmless in a
general sense, and of great benefit in a particular sense, and
ought to receive the vote of every patriot ; refers to American
eaAe, loved banner of the free, etc. Mr. Slasher asks that
the bill be read again (cries of "Oh!"). Mr. Slasher insists.
Clerk reads: ''Be it enacted, and so forth,'' and gentleman
whispers in Mr. Slasher's ear, and he becomes enlightened;
will withdraw his objection. Speaker says, "Favor, aye!
Contrary, no !" Mr. Blinkum voted aye. Somebody wants
the ayes and nays. Clerk calls the roll, and members say aye
and no, and tfien look surprised. All done. Speaker says,
" 61 ayes, 52 nays." Member stands up in his seat (wants to
vote on the strong side). Speaker says, " The gentleman from
! were you within the bar of the House when the roll
was called?" The gentleman from says "Aye," and
sits down. Motion to adjourn. Adjourned. Business of
to-day's session : two bills p'assed, neither of which are known
or understood by anybody except Mr. Blinkum and the little
* man with the bald head.
Saw my representative, — member from my district. Very
sociable, clever fellow, before the election; spoke to me a
score of times every day. Met him in lobby this afternoon ;
said " How de-do, Sam ?" Didn't know me; asked him if he
didn't remember me; guessed maybe he had seen me some-
where, but couldn't recollect; head so full of important gov-
ernment business wouldn't hardly know his own children.
Knew another man who keeps a tavern; talked to him for an
hour; shook hands, and was much pained at parting; very
strange. A thought strikes me. I'll write it down : " Cir-
cumstances alter cases!"
124 WOXTUS, OR
Further on in ^Ir. Nitld's memorandum book are found the
following reflections on that high judicial institution, the Su-
preme Court:
Supreme Court. — Thursday. Law is a great thing; it is
justice blindfolded, with the privilege of looking a little out
of one eye, to see that in dealing out the commodity, law, it
don't allow too many grains of common sense to creep in, and
thereby make things easily understood by those who have oc-
casion to deal in the article. Lawyers are the spirits of jus-
tice, made manifest in the flesh, and are dispensers of myste-
rious terms and long speeches. They are also collectors of
high tarifi" prices from all who have occasion to sail into their
port, either through ignorance, misfortune, or choice ; and are
not notoriously sensitive on any subject except fees. That
their calling is most praiseworthy and respectable none can
deny (or if they could, would dare to), for they not only insist
on its high position among the trades of the land, but they
insist on compelling everybody else to do the same. They
are up to all sorts of roguery ; their business is to be true to
their own interests, and as their interests are commensurate
with their success in getting their fellow-men into and out of
trouble, they are generally prepared to stand up and proclaim
for either side. But there are exceptions to most rules, and
there may be exceptions to those gentlemen who stand in the
shadow of Miss Justice, and prevent that much-abused blind
young woman from bestowing her favors promiscuously about
among her gentlemen in waiting. Young woman aforesaid
being perfectly blind, except as previously noted, the attorneys
don't hesitate to indulge in sundry gymnastic performances in
her presence which would certainly make her blush if she
saw them; but she can't, for she's blind, stone blind, — not by
nature, but on principle. Besides the terrible afiliction of
being blind, she is also deaf; leastwise, it is our duty to be-
lieve that she is, because it invariably becomes necessary for
her courtiers to shout at the top of their voices, whenever
they plead before her for the salvation or damnation of a crea-
ture who seeks her protection. I'd alter all this if I could,
but I can't ! Time has sanctioned the practice, and while I
acknowledge the almost gross impropriety of my speaking of a
business which has assisted me thus far through life, yet there
are many things about it that ought to be condemned, and I
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 125
regard it as just that the condemnation should come from
among its own practitioners.
[This paper shall be consumed by fire, for should it become
known that I had written such things I would be condemned
and severely criticised by every lawyer in the land. " Self-
preservation is the first law of nature." — Gr. N.]
Six men, whose heads have been frosted by the hand of
time, sitting behind a high desk, which stands on an elevated
platform, directly in front of me, as I look in the door. Four
vacant chairs behind the desk ; whole number of chairs, occu-
pied and unoccupied, ten. Everything clean and neat ; but
solemn old gentlemen behind the desk look like epicurean
preachers, dressed in black bags, and look solemnly uncomfort-
able ; doze occasiomdly, nod habitually, and look very wise.
Squire McFinegan's ofiice on the Bowery surpasses it. And
here is where constitutional law is laid down and held up !
Well, what have looks to do with things? Nothing; else
many men would be put down for what they are not.
A gentleman in black, with a long neck and high shirt-collar,
wants to address the bench. Why a bench ? There is nothing
like a bench among the chairs that the black bags sit' on, or
about the desk, and yet they are " on the bench." As a semi-
member of the legal profession, I have never been able to see
why justice was always supposed to be incorporated in men
who sat on benches, rather than those wltb sat anywhere else.
But the gentleman in black says there is a hiatus, maxime
defendus somewhere, Tind then proceeds to state, in a very in;-
pressive and exciting manner, that the results of sundry sur-
veys establish certain parallels, and that these certain parallels
prove most conclusively that his client owns some hundreds
of miles of territory, which somebody else is endeavoring to take
away from him ; and all the black bags look at each other and
nod their heads. Another gentleman in front of the desk, who
looks as though he had been living on a diet of terrapin, lobster,
oysters, and brandy for a greater part of his life, tells the honora-
ble bags that he is on the side of right and justice, and only wants
to honi esuriciiti ex ore exscidpere prsedam, and further than
that, that sundry surveys, establishing certain parallels, cer-
tainly prove nothing, as such parallels never existed, and never
could exist, unless the continent was turned the other end up.
The whole affair was certainly nothing more than a deep-laid
126 TTO.vrr.S', or
plan to steal from his clients — a most honest, self-sacrificing, and
deserving corporation of gentlemen — the lands which had be-
longed to their forefathers at the very moment that Christopher
Columbus discovered the continent. He summed up his case,
and made it so clear that any honest man would have decided
in his favor ; but then the man in black got up, and when he
was through the case, was (and I never like to give an opinion),
to say the least, doubtful. The honorable black bag-s woke up
by and by, whispered together, said there were still some points
in doubt ; case would be continued next month. Man in black
and the man who looks as if he had lived on a lobster diet ad-
journed to a tavern and refreshed, the same as if they had
never said but the most harmless word of each other. Con-
clude that Washington is a great place, and that my education
has been a little neglected.
Here this rather extraordinaiy and singular commentary
ends ; and nowhere through all the pages of the book can a
word be found which refers to anything else in the great city
of Washington.
The order from the President, dated January 27, 18G2,
which commanded an early movement of the army then ly-
ing in front of Washington, and which held the Secretaries
of War and Navy, and those in command under them, to a
strict accountability, sent a thrill of pleasure to every loyal
heart in the land. The defeat at Bull Run, and the almost
countless other defeats of minor importance that followed it,
were made the springs from which great rejoicing flowed
throughout the South, and the chivalric sons of chivalric sires
laughed with scorn at the " mudsills" who had come, and were
coming, to '• manure the land of the South with their car-
casses." A great dark cloud hung heavily over the North,
East, and West, which the President tried to dispel, but was
thwarted at every turn by the hand of " military science,"
until patience ceased to be a virtue, and then came an order
to accomplish that which he had tried for months to secure
through patient waiting and kind words. As if by magic, the
foreboding cloud which had shadowed the loyal States like a
pall rolled gradually back, until once more the bright sun
shone forth and put new life into brave hearts, and bid them
go forth with new energy. Up to this time the army had been
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 127
recruited mainly from among the young unmarried men, but
now the firm stand of the government gave recruiting a new
stimulus, and it once more became really fashionable and credit-
able. Married men, whose age did not exclude them, now
came forward, and men who were beyond i]i% legal standard
in years stood by and cheered the departing ones with loving
promises and hopeful wishes. The fires on the altars of patri^
otism were re-lighted, and the flame burned bright and clear.
The enemy had evacuated Manassas, and were — we scarcely
knew where. '' On to Richmond !" heralded the newspapers.
" Be patient," said the President. " Be patient," echoed the
people. " More troops," cried McClellan. More came, and
every day the people heard the plaintive cry, " All quiet on the
Potomac."
I am not a philosopher, nor do I often indulge in pane-
gyrics, yet I am sure that those who happen to read these pages
years from now (for I shall leave them where they can Ibe
found) will pardon me if I speak a few words in regard to an
individual whose name is now familiar to the civilized world.
I am handling the affairs that transpire under my own indi-
vidual eye, hence I risk being called fulsome when I say that
General McClellan is a model soldier; perhaps he is too much
model. _ I saw him yesterday, as he passed down the avenue
with his staff", and I loved him. Why or wherefore, I'm sure
I cannot tell, unless love is contagious, and I have been in-
oculated by the troops under his command. That they love
him, that the people of the whole country north of the
Potomac love him, none dare gainsay. Like yonder brio-ht
star that peeps in at my window as I write, he is fixed in the
country's firmament, and we look to him to guide us through
ihQ storms and vicissitudes of an eventful epoch. If ySu
doubt the truth of these lines, listen to the clang and
clatter and the wild huzzas that greet his unheralded appear-
ance among the boys in blue, who fringe the horizon on yon-
der hill. Why this should all be I cannot tell, and yet it is !
To speak ill of this man I dare not if I would; his friends
number like the blades of grass, and yet who knows what may
be his destiny. Public favor is but a flitting courtier at best,
and he who basks in its sunshine to-day may be stricken by
its thunder on the morrow.
How well he sits his horse — a noble-looking man indeed.
128 wo X TVS, OR
How wondrous clever, too ; see how he lifts his hat and smiles
on those rugged-faced fellows who are tossing their caps in his
face, in their wild delirium of love. Can this ever change ?
Can that eye which now flashes with just pride before the
homage of a whole people shed a tear because it is so ? Aye !
But dare I say so in public ? I opine not, lest my head pay
the forfeit of so bold a sentence ; and yet the time may come
when men on all sides shall be ready to say, " I told you so !"
But enough of this ; before I close this chapter I have a word
to record concerning Mr. Benjamin Wilkins.
Among the thousands of strangers, both civil and military,
who crowded the capital while the army lay encamped there,
were hundreds of spirits congenial to Mr. Wilkins, as well as
others who were less experienced in the ways of the world.
AVith the first Mr. Wilkins associated and spent the money
which he was so fortunate as to draw in divers ways from the
second. His everyday life was one of continuous sunshine,
and he found himself in so rich a pasturage that his whole
being seemed to be instilled with a new spirit, which nothing
short of death itself could put an end to. He manifested the
most profound wordy interest for the members of the corps
while he wjis in their presence, but the moment the door
closed upon his back in the morning his interest in them
ceased, and until necessity brought him again in contact with
them, no such beings consumed oxygen on earth.
The brief time he had spent in Washington had been taken
advantage of, and served to render him a living walking ency-
clopedia of places, events, men, and things in general. That
such a man as this should be a most valuable addition to the
institutions of any city, no argument is necessary to prove, —
that he should be really indispensable in a city like Washington,
all men will readily concede.
I cannot undertake to describe the self-sacrificing magna-
nimity of Mr. Wilkins, as he walked through the hotels and
volunteered his services to all whom chance threw in his way.
That he should talk of Seward, Stanton, and the other cabinet
ofiicers as familiarly as he would of his most intimate acquaint-
ances, will not surprise any who remember his buoyant dispo-
sition.
" Stanton's a fine fellow," he would say, with that impressive
sang-froid that carries instant conviction to unsophisticated
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 129
minds. " In flict, he's one of the best men I know. A little
cross and determined sometimes, when he don't know a man,
but taken on the whole, a mighty fine feller when you're ac-
quainted. Reminds me of my old friend Gladstone : severe on
duty, but kind and gentle as a kitten among friends." He
handled the generals of the army and the officers of the navy
in the same easy, familiar, matter-of-fact way, and was ready
at any moment to enter into an argument that the Capitol
building could not compare with the Coliseum, or the White
House with the Tuileries. Since Mr. Wilkins never vouchsafed
the information (and it is believed that no other human being
ever could), where he picked up his knowledge of men and
places I am certainly at a loss to determine; but I have
always suspected, from the strangeness of some of his similes,
that he had been an attentive listener at some peri )d of his
life, and that what he had heard became so vividly impressed
upon his susceptible mind, that what first found a place in his
brain as a picture of fancy soon became impressed as a fact ;
that once having taken place he believed it, and was ever ready
to retail it to patient listeners as a part and parcel of his own
individual experience. That such a man found ample oppor-
tunity to gratify his peculiarities in the city of Washington
during the early days of the war, is natural to suppose. Could
Benjamin Wilkins fail to do so ? No !
CHAPTER XI.
INTRODUCES MR. NIDD TO THE PRESIDENT, AND PLACES
BENJAMIN WILKINS BEFORE THE READER AS A STORY-
TELLER.
On the day on which Mr. Wontus had had his labor of
love so ruthlessly interfered with by the military authorities,
Gascon Nidd had devoted himself to an inspection of the treas-
ury building, and at the very moment that the chief of the
corps was being dragged through the streets to the inhospitable
quarters of the provost-marshal, he was deeply absorbed in the
study of the manipulations which the new paper money of the
130 WOXTUS, OR
country was being put through by the deft hands of women.
Now I have said, or implied, that Mr. Nidd was interested in
the icork. Well, perhaps he was, but even the casual observer
could not fail to notice that while it was true that he did east
occasional glances at the piles of money which he saw lying
about, yet his eyes, at times, remained so long fixed on some
one of the cheerful intelligent faces that confronted him, that
one would be inclined to imagine that all that absorbing love
for money, which is supposed to fill the heart of all men, had
given place to a love for something else, and that something
else was the new officials, who had been so recently introduced
to these departments of the government, and who (I blush to
use the term) wore petticoats.
It is highly probabfe that Mr. Xidd would have indulged in
a few flattering remarks with these officials, if not in overtures
of love and affection, for in that direction he was seriously
weak, had it not been for two reai<ons : the one, non-intercourse
was a rule of the department ; the other was that Mr. Xidd's
form did not appear to strike anybody as the form of a member
of Congress, hence he received nothing but furtive glances, such
as would be cast on any other stranger. He had expected more
than this, and as he was a man of gumption as well as discern-
ment, he cast a scornful look about him and swung himself
majestically around on his heel, and then swung himself with
quick nervous strides out of the building.
Mr. Nidd congratulated himself on finding himself on the
steps looking toward the President's mansion, for it was more
by chance than good management that he found his way through
the halls, and came out through the very door that he most
desired. As he stood on the steps and wiped the moisture
from his brow, he suffered his eye to take what might be called
a desultory view of the landscape spread before him. In the
foreground stood the White House, — called ichite, I presume,
because it is generally nearer a cream color than anything else,
— and stretching off gracefully and gradually toward the river,
which sparkled in the distance, were the grounds, which Mr.
Nidd supposed were a common, but which are really the Pres-
ident's pleasure grounds.
As Mr. Nidd stood on the treasury steps, his very soul ex-
panded with the magnitude of everything that surrounded him.
Passing his eyes over the green-houses contiguous to, and in
X() I'.WOItS OK A.N^- KIM) Tl) ASK
Pilfto 1 :'.;-).
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 131
the rear of, the White House, he allowed them to roam amo»<''
the trees on what he believed to be the common, and finally
rest on the miniature mountains. He was not of a poetic
nature, but he felt that he was incapable of doing justice to
ihQ scene in prose. His mind wandered back to his childhood
t^'^ys — for he had been born in the country, — and, tragically
extending his hand, his face wearing a look of serene happi-
ness, he said :
"How doth the little busy bee
Improve each shining hour,
And gather honey all the day
From every opening flower."
[There can be no particular reason assigned for the rather
singular quotation which Mr. Nidd used on this occasion ; nor
can anything be said in praise of its appropriateness. But it
was poetry, and, like many others who make use of the Muses
on similar occasions, he furnished the material without regard
to the matter.]
" Ah !" ejaculated the gentleman, as a smile of satisfaction
flitted across his placid face, " nothing like beautiful nature
to bring out the fine points in a man's composition." And,
following this, Mr. Nidd permitted his fancy to play upon the
scene before him until his usually methodical mind was a per-
fect picture-gallery, wherein mountains, valleys, rivers, and
cascades figured most extensively. Absence from the cares
of business was having its efibct on the austere conveyancer ;
and it was not until he had personally inspected the miniature
mountains, and found them to be piles of ashes, stones, and
garbage of different kinds, that his mind came back to its ac-
customed train of thought, and he wondered that he should
ever have wandered from the beaten path. In this frame of
mind his attention was called to that magnificent pile of marble
which stands on the banks of the canal (an imported feature
of Venetian grandeur), and which may one day present a most
imposing appearance from the other side of the river. In
this case distance did not lend enchantment to the view, and
as Mr. Nidd saw it for the first time, he came* very near per
mitting himself to believe that it was the remains of a chimney
which one day had played an important part in the manufac
tures (if there ever were any) of Washington. I say that he
came very near permitting himself to believe that this was the
132 WOXTUS, OR
case, and probably would have believed it, had it not been that
the diagram which he carried in his pocket informed him that
it was the Washington Monument. The moment this infor-
mation found a place in the mind of the gazer, that moment
the smoke-stack of a moment before became a venerated, not
to say beautiful, pile, and he fell into a reflective mood.
He had seated himself on the remains of a cart, which con-
stituted one of the ornaments of the grounds ; and as he sat
there he kept nodding his head like a man who is perfectly
satisfied with his thoughts, and his face was as solemn-looking
as a grave-yard in winter. Exactly what passed through his
mind as he sat there can only be a matter of conjecture, for
only that which found vent in expression finds a place here.
" So that's Washington's Monument !" soliloquized he, and
then he went nodding his head as before. " Great man, — one
among ten thousand. What ! yes, one among all the men in
the world, — got his equal nowhere, and never had. Talk of
your Acestes, your Chiron, your Itonus, your Belus, your
Alexanders, your Napoleons, your Brutuses, and all the rest,
not one of them all who could, would, or did equal him.
Look at him," continued Mr. Nidd, pointing with his finger
in the direction of the monument, and speaking with animation ;
'• he was brave, he was good ; he sought no power, and only
accepted it when it was forced on him. Did he look out for
himself? Not once 1 The country he had helped to establish
was his only care, and he worked for her happiness, her glory,
her prosperity, and renown only ! He was worshiped by the
people. Could he have made himself king ? I'll bet you he
could ! Did he ? I'll bet you he didn't ! And there's where
he stands, a head and shoulder above all the heroes the world
has ever seen, for not one of them would have cast the crown
away if he ever once got his hands on it. Argue as you please,
it's a fact."
Having delivered himself as though he was addressing an
individual, the speaker once more fell to nodding his head.
Again he speaks :
"So that's Washington's Monument! Well, I'm glad to
hear it ; but it's an infernal shame to let it stand there look-
ing like a cross between a chimney and a dilapidated light-
house. Who's a-building it ? I don't know ; it's been so
long since I heard of it that I've forgotten. Not the gov-
THE CORPS Of observation. 133
eminent ? No ! It would not be becoming in a government
like ours to erect a pile like that, even to Washington. It
would make an aristocracy of family, and heaven knows we're
drifting into that silliness fast enough as it is. (A pause.)
Yes, I remember ; the citizens of the States were to build
this monument. (A long pause.) Will that time ever come
again ? My poor, unhappy country ! what have you done to
be thus dismembered, thus torn and bled ? I pray for the
early pacification of the troubled waters. Our nation is too
great, our future too brilliant, to allow of any such rupture.
Stand by the flag, boys !" And Mr. Nidd rose to his feet and
fairly shouted the peroration ; and then, looking around him,
he bit his lips with evident vexation, said the words "I'm a
fool !" quite audibly, and retraced his steps to the avenue.
Gascon Nidd was not only a democrat in the literal sense
of the term, but he was also one politically. He never knew
exactly icliy he was a Democrat, since he had little or nothing
to do with politics or politicians, but, having polled his first vote
on that side, he continued in that faith, always feeling assured
in his own mind that there wasn't much choice between the
two great parties, so far as the real administration of afi'airs
was concerned. He lived as happily under one as he did
under the other. He had not voted for Abraham Lincoln ;
in fact, to the best of his knowledge and belief, that gentle-
man was not the sort of man who ought to be President, but
now that it was within his power he thought he would call on
the President, just to see how he looked.
It is presumable that no man who ever occupied the presi-
dential chair had more, if as many, personal interviews with
the people of this country, than had President Lincoln. Nor
were his interviews confined to any particular kind or class of
people, but to all. The intensely exciting times, and the mo-
mentous issues involved, together with the regular business
of his office, brought him in contact with many people ; but
aside from that, the droll stories, his quaint sayings, and,
above all, his goodness of heart, had made for him a reputa-
tion which time cannot efface, and created a curiosity on the
part of the people of the country which no man who visited
the capital neglected to gratify if in his power.
It was simply a matter of curiosity on the part of IMr.
Nidd when that gentleman detennincd to pay the President a
12
134 woyTus, OR
visit, and, as lie passed under the rather primitive — not to use
a harsher term — portico, he felt an unconquerable disregard
for men and things pass through his system.
"Your business, sir?" asked a man, the moment Mr. Nidd
set his foot inside the doors.
'■' AVhat's that to you ?" asked Mr. Nidd.
"Do you wish to see the President?" continued the man,
without noticing Mr. Nidd's manner.
"I do!"
" I am very sorry, sir ; but it is after visiting hours, and
none save members of Congress, heads of departments, are ad-
mitted. Have you any important business with the President ?"
" Yes, sir," said Mr. Nidd, taking a survey of the room,
and assuming a dignified mien ; " I want to see this man they
call the President. I am a sovereign, — one of the men who
make presidents, members of Congress, heads of departments,
and the like ; what more do you want?"
As Mr. Nidd spoke, a tall, gaunt, sorrowful-looking man
came slowly down the stairs, and stood leaning against the
wall. His face wore an abstracted appearance, but as Mr.
Nidd progressed, a smile wreathed his mouth, and for a mo-
ment his kindly eye was lighted by a radiant look, and ere
the door-keeper had an opportunity to reply, he approached
the visitor and announced himself to be the President.
" Glad to see you, sir," said Mr. Nidd, extending his hand
with the same familiarity that he would have greeted an old
friend.
Mr. Lincoln took his visitor's hand in both of his, and look-
ing into his face, asked :
" What can I do for you, sir ?"
" Nothing."
" No advice to sjive me ?"
" No."
" Desire no contract?"
" No."
"An office?"
" No."
" A pass to go beyond the lines ?"
" No, sir."
"No politician?"
"No."
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 135
" No favors of any kind to ask ?"
" No, sir," said Mr. Nidd, decisively ; " I came to see you ;
having seen you, I'll go."
The President still held his visitor's hand in his, and stood
thoughtfully gazing into vacancy. " No advice," he muttered,
as though speaking to himself; "no contract; no pass; no
politician. No flivors of any kind ! My friend, you are wel-
come." And looking into Mr. Nidd's eyes, he shook his hand
warmly and drew him to a seat. The heavy, earnest look on
the President's foce gave way to a more cheerful cast, as he
seated himself by Mr. Nidd and commenced conversation.
" And is it really true that you do not desire a favor of any
kind at my hands?" asked Mr. Lincoln. "It has been so
long since I saw a man, or woman, who did not want some
office, contract, or favor of some description or other, that I
am at a loss to understand a man who calls on me out of pure,
unselfish friendship."
Mr. Nidd was about to explain his visit," for so kind and
generous did the President appear that he commenced to feel
UQComfortable.
"Are you sure there is nothing that I can do for you?"
asked the President, rising ; " I should be glad to talk with
you longer, but I have an engagement with the Secretary of
State, and was about to attend to it when I was arrested by
your conversation with the door-keeper."
" You can do something," said Mr. Nidd, rising, and speak-
ing with some emotion.
"Ah!"
" Yes ; be brave, be true, be faithful, and bring this most
terrible war to an end as soon as possible."
" My friend," said the President, turning to Mr. Nidd and
laying his hand on that gentleman's shoulder, his face again
assuming its cast of mingled determination and sadness,
"with the help of Him who reigns on high, all these things
will I be, and more, if He wills it ! Grood-by, sir." And Mr.
Lincoln spoke with such impressive fervency that even the
skeptical Nidd felt that he had been wrong in condemning the
man before he knew him.
It was not until after Mr. Nidd had been left alone that
he came to properly comprehend what he had done. With-
out knowing it, or rather without appreciating the fact, he
136 WOXTUS, OR
had been talking in tlie most commonplace manner to a man
whom, if he had occupied a relative position anywhere else in
the world, he would have approached with fear and trepidation.
But he had been taught to think ill not only of Mr. Lincoln's
ability, but of his aims and intentions, and this was the only rea-
son that he could assign for his unceremonious conduct. When
he entered the White House he had a supreme disregard for
the man, which now was changed into the most profound
respect and veneration.
" And they say we Democrats don't love the Union. Well,
well, we shall see. That man loves the Union ; he is a Dem-
ocrat by nature, and I love him." Thus Mr. Xidd soliloquized
as he passed down the graveled walk, and thence into the ave-
nue. Once in the street, his attention was completely absorbed
in his own thoughts, and it was only when he was about pass-
ing Willard's that it was attracted elsewhere.
At this time the hotel known as Willard's was the centre
of Washington life. Here the politicians, who thirsted for
office and its emoluments, were congregated ; here the officers
of the army made their appointments ; and here the sight-see-
ing strangers, and others, whose business was as mysterious as
themselves, assembled ; some to see their friends, others to seek
the aid of some man of influence, others to hear the news of
the day, and still more who came to prey on the innocent and
unsuspecting. From early morning until late at night — in
fact, it was never ceasing — crowds of men were here to be
found, all engaged in the same occupation, talking. In fact,
talking in all its different styles, from the loud and command-
ing to the supplicating whisper, was to be heard on all sides.
I sometimes think that from the earnestness which some of
these men threw into the conversation, their very lives must
depend upon it. There was every shade of the masculine gen-
der of the human family to be seen here at a glance, and pov-
erty walked side by side with the richest. Like the grave,
the saloons of Willard's were the great levelers of man : the
high and low, who were strangers, found a common footing
and a common welcome.
It was the first time that Mr. Nidd had ever paid a visit to
this celebrated localit}', and it was not without trouble that he
managed to effect an entrance to that portion of the hotel called
the bar-room. Once here, he took a survey of his surroundings,
THE CORPS OF ODSERVATIOy. 137
and among" the first faces that he saw was that of Mr. Benja-
min Wilkins, of the Wontus Corps of Observation.
It cannot be said that 3Ir. Nidd was astonished to find Mr.
Wilkins here, because there were few things that that gentle-
man could or did do that surprised his fellow-members ; but
that he was a little taken aback, so to speak, there was no
question. Mr. Wilkins had failed to notice the arrival of Mr.
Nidd, and at the very moment that Mr. Nidd first saw him he
was indulging in a few deprecatory remarks, which, I believe,
are customary on such occasions, over the last bottle of cham-
pagne which he had so generously assisted to consume. He
was the centre of a group of gentlemen, who occupied the dis-
tant corner of the bar, some of whom were military men, and
othei-s were men whom Mr. Nidd recognized as members of
one of the houses of Congress, but whether of the first, second,
or third house, he was unable at that moment to determine.
The third house of Congress is composed of an unlimited num-
ber of members, and resembles the other two houses in only
one thing, viz., the persistency with which it hangs to a mat-
ter or question after having once become interested in it. A
great number of its members are lawyers from difi"erent sections
of the country, and they are presumed to be very useful ad-
juncts when it becomes necessary to pass what is called a
private bill. They do not receive stipulated salaries, like the
members of the other two houses, nor do they have seats, ex-
cept in the neighboring hotels. They are as well known about
the Capitol as the members of either of the other houses, and
are infinitely better than a great many who figure in the pub-
lished proceedings. Besides, they are somewhat of a privileged
class, and their offices are behind the pillars which support or
ornament difi"erent portions of the building, or in the alcoves
and niches, which afibrd a convenient standing-place. In
brief, they are not very choice as to exactly where they transact
their business, and not unfrequently have been known to make
use of the cellar. They are, in short, a very large element in
the mysteries of Washington. But again I digress.
The party, of Avhich Mr. AVilkins was one, were arguing on
that staple subject, the "conduct of the war." In this con-
versation the military gentlemen, strange as it may seem, ap-
peared to take but little part ; but that fact did not seem to
make any particular breach in the line of argument, for the
12*
138 WOXTUS, OR
other gentlemen had so many opinions, and wore so careful to
set them forth in so clear a manner, that the fire of conver-
sation was continuous. But everj'thing must have an end ;
and although Mr. Wilkins was encouraged in his suggestions
as to the proper mode of conrjuering the enemy in the briefest
imaginable time, and was also indefatigable in his eiforts to
agree with all the opinions and suggestions of the other gen-
tlemen, yet the conversation gradually, and I may say grace-
fully, changed in some unaccountable manner from war to
ghosts. Ghosts are prolific of conversation, which may or
may not become prolix; it depends on the early education or
associations of those who indulge in the luxury of a vivid
imagination.
The gentlemen having become fatigued standing at the bar.
one of the members proposed taking a seat, and as the bar-
room was not provided with that convenience, they passed
out. closely followed by Mr. Nidd. The reading- and sitting-
rooms were all full to overflowing, but a friendly stack of
trunks, near the clerk's desk, offered a perch, and on these the
gentlemen congregated.
It was some time before Mr. Wilkins could gain the undi-
vided attention of his hearers, but he finally succeeded, pre-
facing his remarks with sundry rather complex questions in
regard to ghosts that need not be related here, and said :
"I was born in Jersey, — not the island of that name, but
the Stato. I have traveled in every section of the globe, and
know things when I see 'em, without askin' a question. I am
not in the habit of relatin' what most people choose to call
stories, but there are some facts, — and facts, you know, are
stranger than fiction, after all, — occurrences in my own life,
which I do not mind relatin' when I meet with clever gentle-
men like yourselves."
At this juncture the gentleman jumped down from his
perch, and inclined his head in an attitude of the deepest re-
spect. Having placed his cane under his arm, and eased his
shirt-collar by running his fingers about his neck, he con-
tinued :
" Adjoining my father's plantation was that of Gascon Nidd,
E.squire, of New York (Mr. Nidd drew nearer), a man of
almost boundless wealth, but whose heart, I am sorry to say,
was as cold and flinty as a stone. Perhaps you've heard of
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 139
him ; but no matter. Nidd was tlie fatlier of a most ioter-
esting family, consistin' of two girls — lovely creatures — and
a boy. Imogene, the oldest of the girls, resembled her father
in every respect, except in disposition, and I have said that
his was cold ; hers was as warm and genial as the sun of an
Italian sky. She was tall and graceful ; her complexion was
neither a blonde nor a brunette, but was a charmin' hit be-
twixt the two. Her hair — such hair! — was as brown as a
chestnut, and fell in graceful confusion over a noble forehead
and alabaster shoulders. Her eyes were brown, a beautiful
brown, I think, — resembled mine a little, I always thought, —
and swam, as it was, in liquid glory. Gentlemen, I loved
that girl !"
" So it is to be presumed," said the Hon. Mr. Leatherhead.
" But what of the ghost ?"
" Oh, yes ; pardon me, — I had almost forgot. Let me see."
And Mr. Wilkins at once fell into a contemplative attitude.
" I think it was in June. I had never declared my love to
Imogene, nor yet she to me ; but no matter. Old Nidd, her
father, was a violent man ; but, gentlemen, it takes more than
words to frighten me, and while he often tried to scare me
with his talk, I still went on, a little clandestinely, but I went.
Nidd's field joined ours, and for short I used to cut across the
fields on evenin's when I was returnin' home. One night I
met the old man near the woods. Says he, ' Count,' — he
always called me Count, — says he, ' you'd better stay at home.'
" ' Why ?' says I.
" ' It's dangerous hereabouts,' says he.
" ' Think so ?' says I.
" ' Very dangerous,' says the old man. I thought I'd see
what the old codger was up to, so says I:
" ' What's the reason ?'
" ' Ghosts,' says he ; and he looked as solemn as an owl.
" Seein' there wasn't nothin' to be made on either side, we
soon parted, and as I walked along I stopped to gaze on a
thunderin' fine white bull, which I saw by the moonlight,
grazin' in the field. Next mornin' I found out that it was a
new animal which old Nidd had been buyin', and I thought
nothin' more about it. (Mr. Nidd drew farther into the
shade.) Well, as near as I can recollect, it was about two
nights after I had the talk with the old man, that I had been
140 WOXTUS, OR
spondin' the eveniii' with Imogene, and stayed pretty late.
The night was a Httle cloudy, but the moon was near its full,
and I had all the light I wanted to go home by.
'' I never could understand it before, nor since, but somehow
or another there was a queerish kind of a haze pervadin' the
air that night, but I didn't make much account of it, and
savin' good-night to Imogene, and puttin' a kiss on her ruby
lips, I hopped over the fence and started home. Everything
was serene, and I went a-whistlin' ' Comia' through the Rye.'
As I came to the pasture-field, about two dozen acres big, I
saw the white bull eatin' away in one corner, and I noticed as
I got near the middle of the field that he behaved a little sin-
gular ; but I didn't disturb myself any, for, says I, ' Ben, if
that bull gets rambunctious, you know how to take care of
yourself;' and I continued on. I had just got about in the
middle of the field, when, thunder and Mars ! here comes the
bull towards me, puffin' and blowin' like a steam-enginCj and
his eyes a-glarin' like balls of fire "
" What did you do ?' ' interrupted one of the gentlemen,
anxiously.
" Hold on," continued Mr. Wilkins ; " all in good time.
Well, thinks I, here's a go ; and for a moment I felt as if I'd
like to be on the other side of the fence. But there wasn't
much time to think, and I made up my mind to fight it out.
There wasn't time for me to take my coat ofi" before the in-
fernal monster come snortin', foamin', and dartin' into me;
his head down and his tail up. I braced myself this way
(Mr. Wilkins assumed an attitude of defense), and jist about
the time the infernal scoundrel thought he'd give me a hook,
I grabbed him by the horns, and was carried chuck ofi" my
feet before you could say Jack Robinson. But I held fast to
the horns, and right then and there took place such a bull-
fight as was never seen in those parts before, I'll bet a dollar.
As soon as I could get my feet on the ground, and get a pur-
chase, I give Mr. Bull a lurch and thro wed him on his back ;
but he wasn't no sooner down than he was up again, and then
we went pitchin' and tossin' around and around that field.
First I'd throw him down, and then he'd toss me up ; but I'd
made up my mind to conquer or die, and I stuck to him.
One time I thought it was all up with me ; the rascal give me
a pretty high toss, and when I come down, instead of lightiu'
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATIOX. 141
on my feet, as I intended, I fell on my side, and before I
could get up he made for me like a bolt of greased liglitnin'.
" My presence of mind is good at any time, but tiiis here
time it was wonderful that I should think at all ; but I did,
and in a flash my plans were laid. Up come the bull, the
blood squirtin' from his nose, and his eyes fierier than ever ;
he was just goin' to hook me, when I rolled under his nose,
grabbed his fore-feet, and tossed him over again on his back,
lucky Ben Wilkins on top."
" Wonderful !" exclaimed the Hon. Mr. Leatherhead.
" Wonderful, indeed !" exclaimed the other gentlemen.
" Well, that was the beginnin' of the end," continued Mr.
Wilkins, complacently, " for, from that moment out, the fight
was all one-sided. At last he got so that he couldn't stand
on his pins any longer, and he laid over on his side. ' This
is my time,' says I, leapin' to my feet; and, givin' a bound, I
jumped on him with my heels, and continued to jump on
him till there wasn't any more life in him than there is in
that trunk.
"Now, gentlemen," said Wilkins, as the party made a
movement to go, " the most singular part of the story is yet to
come. When I got through with the fight of course I was
tired, so started straight for home and went to bed. The
next mornin' the folks were all up before I was, and when I
come down-stairs the old man, my father, was standin' in the
door.
" ' Dad,' says I, ' I guess I've got you into trouble.'
" ' Why ?' says he.
" ' I killed old Nidd's bull last night.'
" ' Done what ?' says he.
" ' Killed Nidd's bull,' says I.
" ' You're a fool !' says the old man, and he went on a-
lookin' out of the door.
" ' What's the matter ?' says I.
" ' Killed Nidd's bull ?' says he. ' Not much, for there he
stands now, jist like he stood before he was driv into the
barn last evenin'.'
" ' Wasn't that bull in that field all night ?' says I.
" ' No, sir-ee !' says the old man. And then I went on and
told him just what had happened. He kind of doubted it at
first, but when we went up to the field and seen the ground
142 woxTus, on
all tore up, and pieces of the bull's hide and pieces of my
clothes layin' around, and the white bull standin' as peaceful
as a lamb, says the old man, ' Ben, you've been fightin' a
ghost !' And, by thunder ! that's just what I had done, for 3'ou
might shake sixty thousand red blankets before that bull's
face, and he'd never move a muscle."
His hearere were astounded.
"Now, gentlemen," said Mr. Wilkins, after a pause, "there
is nothin' much about this story except that it's a fact, and
that I am here, livin' and well, to tell it."
" Liar!" hissed a voice which Wilkins knew full well, and
Gascon Nidd walked past him into the street.
That liquor was necessary to put the finishing touch on
such a story is believed to be eminently proper and requisite,
and of coui-se it was done. Here we must leave Mr. Wilkins,
and attend to other matters of vital interest to the corps.
CHAPTER XII.
MR. WONTUS COMES TO GRIEF AND GOES TO PRISON, AND
FINDS HIMSELF NOT ALONE MR. NIDD IS EXERCISED
IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE.
It is not within the province of a pen wielded by the
hands of mortal man to depict the unexpressed feelings of
Mr. Wontus as he hobbled along to the guard-house under
the charge of a squad of soldiers, who were commanded by a
sergeant who evidently knew nothing save his duty. Custom
had made the men quick steppei'S, and it was not without
great difficulty that the prisoner could keep his place in the
ranks. Sometimes the admonition from the sergeant to " keep
up there" induced Mr. Wontus to put forth his best efforts,
for he felt sure that there was a mistake that could and would be
rectified the moment he reached the head-C|uart€rs of the guaid,
and he desired that moment to arrive as speedily as possible.
Thjit Mr. Wontus was enraged is to be supposed from the fiict
that his face was very red, and large drops of perspiration
stood out like beads upon hiij forehead. In vain he tried to
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION 143
k^ep Step ; but the more he tried the more he found that he
could not do it. One of the soldiers by his side endeavored
to help the prisoner, but his endeavors were futile, and it was
only when the party arrived at the guard-house, and Mr.
\\ ontus was handed over to the tender care of the officer in
charo-e, that he was relieved of the misery he felt while
marching through the streets.
Once inside the guard-house, Mr. Wontus was conducted
to the office, where he plunged himself into a chair, and ru-
mmated, as dispassionately as circumstances would permit,
over his present situation and the probabilities of his ever
seeing his home again. While the prisoner was doing this
the sergeant was making his report to the officer, at the con-
clusion of which that gentleman (the officer) said •
" Stand up, sir !" ^
Mr Wontus, not supposing that any such command would
be addressed to him, sat unmoved, with his head restino- on
his hands and his eyes fixed abstractedly on the floor. ""
"Stand up, sir!" cried the officer; this time in tones that
not only made Mr. Wontus look up quickly, but made the
very windows rattle.
Mr. Wontus cast his eyes around the room, but as there
was nobody there except the officer, the sergeant, and him.
self, he wondered who the officer was speaking to. The ser^
geant was already standing ; in flict, he had not sat down ; the
officer certainly could not be speaking to himself, and it finally
occurred to him that perhaps he was the man addressed. He
cast an inquiring glance on the officer, which was answered
by the command :
" Stand up, sir, — youT
Mr. Wontus stood up.
" Take olf your hat," said the officer.
Mr. Wontus took off his hat.
'' You have been brought here," said the officer, " charged
with " ^
"With what?" interrupted Mr. Wontus, excitedly.
"No interruptions, sir!' commanded the officer, savagely
iou are charged with giving aid, comfort, and assistance to
the enemy ; and, if I mistake not, you will c^et what so many
of your kind richly deserve, a neck-tie, which, I assure you
will never wear out."
144 WOXTUS, OR
Mr. Wontus was almost speechless with astonishment. ITe
giving aid and comfort to the enemy ! Wh}', the very idea
was not only preposterous, but was cruel and unnatural. But
his train of thought was cut short by the officer commanding
some invisible person to "escort the prisoner to the back
parlor."
" This way," said a soldier, tapping Mr. Wontus on the shoul-
der ; " this way, — come !" But Mr. Wontus did not come.
" What !'' cried he, in a condition of fierce* excitement,
" am I to be incarcerated in a dungeon ; me, Olympus Won-
tus ? What have I done that I should be thus treated? Who
are my accusere ? Bring them forth, that I may crush them
at a glance and force the horrible lies down, yes, down to their
very bowels ! Who are they, where are they, and what are
they ? Who knows aught of me that is tinged with treason
or disloyalty ? I love my government and its flag. I would
die, if my dying would save it from destruction ; and you
would imprison me, — I who hate her enemies as a cat hates
water ! Oh, come, gentlemen ! this is but a joke ; it has
gone far enough. Let me go, and I promise you that while
I ought to report you to your superiors, yet I never will.
Now come "
" Come, come, me old flint," cried the man, " we've got no
time to listen to what evei-ybody's got to say that comes here.
Come, follow me, or I'll take ye."
Mr. Wontus could not persuade himself but that the whole
afiair was a huge joke, and taking that view of it, indulged in
a short h3'st€ric laugh, — a sort of stage laugh, — which so ex-
asperated the man who had charge of him that he insisted on
Mr. Wontus accompanying him without further delay.
" I appeal to you. officer !" cried the prisoner ; but that gen-
tleman had taken his departure for more congenial quarters ;
and ere Mr. Wontus was aware of what was exactly going on,
the guard walked up behind him, and, taking him up in his
arms, endeavored to force him through the doorway. But
Mr. Wontus was not to be put away from daylight and liberty
without a struggle, and then and there commenced a battle
which has never found a place in any history outside of these
pages.
For some moments it looked as though the guard was des-
tined to be successful in his undertaking ; but the advantage
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 145
was momentary, for Mr. Wontus no sooner found himself going
through the doorway than he threw out his legs and arms, thus
making a figure like the letter X, and defied the herculean
efforts of his captor to get him an inch farther. Mr. Wontus
did not offer to strike, but simply vigorously opposed his eject-
ment from the room. His lips were compressed, and his face,
though very red, wore a most determined aspect. The guard
pushed, pulled, and swore ; Mr. Wontus kept up his X, and
groaned with every surge. Now the guard undertook to dash
him on the floor, but even there Mr. Wontus was too much
for him, and when they did fall Mr. Wontus was on top. The
prisoner's foot did not hurt him, or if it did, he did not heed
it, and the moment he was able to disentangle himself from
the prostrate man, he sought the protection of the officer's desk,
behind which article of furniture he stood at bay, puffing like
a porpoise, while the guard called lustily for the corporal of
the guard. It was not many moments before that much-used
and much-abused official put in an appearance, backed by some
half a dozen of his attendants. The condition of affairs was
soon explained by the man, and without further ado Mr. Won-
tus was taken bodily up, and conveyed to that portion of the
establishment known as the best parlor — which was base irony
— amid shouts of laughter. The imprecations which the pris-
oner bestowed on the guard, and the whole world besides, were
loud and long, but they availed nothing, for when he reached
the " parlor" door he was placed on his feet and pushed head-
long down.
I cannot describe the " parlor" any further than to say that
it was dark and gloomy, and a few degrees warmer than the
temperature outside, and that it was the common receptacle of
every class and description of people who happened to be ar-
rested, and whose cases had not been disposed of It is a
singular flict, but none the less true for being singular, that
most soldiers will get drunk ! As there were a great many
about Washington at this time, it is reasonable to suppose that
some of them fell into the clutches of the guard, and through
that instrumentality found their way to the guard-house. At
any rate, the company into which Mr. Wontus had been so
unexpectedly precipitated was composed mostly of that class
of people, and the arrival of a civilian was hailed with the
greatest imaginable joy.
Q 13
14G WU.VTUS, OR
The cry of "fresh fish"' sounded in all directions, and it was
some moments after he entered before he could distinguish
objects in the gloom; but his eyes soon became accustomed to
it, and he glanced about him for a place to sit down. Nothing
met his gaze but the bare walls and floor. In desperation he
sank down on the boards, and burying his face in his hands,
commenced to meditate and grieve over his truly lamentable
situation.
" Heaven be merciful !" he cried ; and he would have con-
tinued his prayer to a greater extent but for the interruption
of his fellow-prisoners.
"Who are yez ?" said a tall cavahyman, whose language
indicated that he was an Irishman.
" I'm a poor, lone, lorn, lost man," sighed 3Ir. Wontus,
without looking; up.
"An' where does yez come from?" queried the cavalry-
man.
" New York," cried Mr. Wontus.
" An' fwhat are yez here for?"
Mr. Wontus made no reply.
" Been a tippin' yer negus, I dunno, ain't yez ?"
Mr. Wontus said that he did not understand.
" Have yez any of the crathur about your clothes? do yez
understand that f
To this our hero replied that if the gentleman meant liquor,
he could truthfully say that he had not.
"Got any tobackee?" asked a little man, whose clothes
were considerably the worse for wear, or bad treatment,
" No, sir, I haven't."
"Got any soap?" continued the little man with the ragged
clothes,
" Yes," cried a score of voices, " have you got any money ?"
The prisoners, at the cry of " fresh fish," when IVontus en-
tered the room, had assembled, and were now clustered about
ftim.
•• If you have," continued the little man, "give it to us."
Mr. Wontus declined, and therefore a tumult arose during
which he feared for his life. " Gag 'em !" cried one : " Smother
'em !" cried another ; and equally threatening language was
coming from every quarter when the loud voice of the Irish-
man was heard above all the rest :
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 147
" Hoiild on there, ye howlin' divils, ye !" he shouted.
" Have yez no respect for the feelin's of a gintleman, ye mur-
therin' wretches, that you'd frighten 'em out of 'em's wits ?
Yez have no manners ; that what yez haven't." And stoop-
ing down so that his voice only reached the ear of Mr. Wontus,
he continued : " Could yez lend me the loan of a dollar or
two, sur, for to keep the howlin' devils quiet wid ? I'm an
honest man, sur, an' wouldn't see a hair of your blessed head
harmed, for the blessin' of the saints."
" There, there !" cried Mr. Wontus, handing all the money
he happened to have about him to his new-found friend.
" Take it, but for Heaven's sake keep them men away from
me ; I'm on the verge of insanity now. You'll pay me back
sometime, I know you will."
" Ye have the honest word of Michael Skilligan for that,
sur." And as he spoke he cast a droll glance at his com-
panions, crammed the money into his pocket, and drew oiF to
another part of the room, followed by the others. The room
resounded with cheer after cheer soon after, and Mr. AVontus
was left for a time to his own sorrowful reflections.
There are a great many things and circumstances about a
large army which may be called mysterious ; but probably the
most mysterious of all is to tell exactly how and where the
soldiers get liquor. Cases have come under notice where,
from the situation of the troops, it was believed that to pro-
cure a drop of liquor was simply an impossibility, and yet,
just at such times and places, the poorest soldiers in the com-
mand would be found as drunk as lords day after day, defying
the most searching inquiries and investigations.
Mr. Wontus found it next to impossible to secure a glass
of water and a piece of bread, but he noticed, with alarm,
that his fellow-prisoners not only had plenty to eat, but were
quenching their thirst from a well-filled jug of whisky, —
which jug was most jealously guarded by the Irishman who
had borrowed his money. He knew it was whisky, for he
had found it absolutely necessary to taste it.
As night threw its sombre mantle over the guard-house,
what had been bedlam before now became pandemonium.
Men, wild with the excitement produced by the liquor they
had quaffed, made the night, as near as Mr. Wontus was able
to imagine it, a perfect hell, and it was not until they had
148 WOXTUS, OR
become so drunk that they could no longer stand up, that the
turmoil ceased. Not until then did Mr. Wontus permit him-
self to rise from the floor and pace the narrow space left him
by his companions, who were lying in every conceivable posi-
tion about the floor. How long he continued his walk, and
what he thought of during his walk, it is impossible to say,
but it is known that in course of time he became wearied and
tired, and sank down near the door, and soon after fell into
a fitful sleep, during which he had most horrible visions of
death in every shape, but always in the presence of the mili-
tary.
It must have been far into the night, and at a moment
when our hero imagined himself on a scaff"old, with the halter
around his neck and the drop ready to fall, when the door of
the " parlor" was suddenly opened, and just as suddenly shut
again. Mr. Wontus awoke in a terrible condition of mind,
the cold drops of perspiration oozing from every pore, and was
on the point of crying murder when he was arrested by a voice
which he thought he had heard before, singing, —
" My name is Cap — Cap'n Kidd,
As I sail, as I sail ;
My name is Cap'n Kidd,
As I sail, as I sail.
Mv name is Cap'n Kidd
I've "
" Wilkins — Mr. Wilkins !" whispered Mr. Wontus, without
moving, and the singing ceased. '• 3Ir. Wilkins !"' again whis-
pered Mr. Wontus.
" Ah, ha ! What do I see before me ? Who cal-calls ?"
"Is it you, Mr, Wilkins?" whispered Mr. Wontus, rising
to a sitting posture, and making a speaking trumpet of his
hands.
" 'Tis me — 'tis I ! Ham (hie) let, the Dane, and my name
is Cap'n Kidd, as I sa "
" Sh !" cried Mr. Wontus, beneath his breath. " Be quiet,
or we shall be murdered. Draw near — this way, Mr. Wilkins.
Oh, I am so glad you are here ! A little to the right, 3Ir.
Wilkins ; there, now sit down. Softly, Mr. Wilkins, for this
place is full of fiends incarnate. I've been expecting to be
murdered, drawn, and quartered ever since I've been in this
horrible place."
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATIOX. 149
" Mis'er TVon-wontus," said Mr. Wilkins, without appearing
to heed the caution oi" his employer, " you musbe drunk — /
am!'' And having uttered these words, Mr. Wilkins, for it
was none otljer than that redoubtable personage, stretched
himself out on the floor, with the assistance of Mr. Wontus,
and in a few moments was snoring away in perfect cadence
and harmony with the others, leaving Mr. Wontus to spend
the balance of the night as best he could, which, as may be
readily imagined, was miserable enough.
The reader will please retrace his steps (more properly, his
thoughts) to the moment when Mr. Nidd pronounced the
expressive word Liar! and walked out of Willard's Hotel
with a full and complete understanding within himself that
Benjamin Wilkins should be amply paid for the free and un-
constrained manner in which he had used his (Nidd's) name.
It is always " evening" after noon among the natives of
the capital ; therefore, to make the distinction, it becomes
necessary for me to say that it was night when Mr. Nidd
ushered himself into the quarters of the corps on D Street.
There was no light in the room, as was customary, but Mr,
Nidd was in no humor to notice things very particularly, and
it was not until he had lighted the gas that he observed he
was the only occupant of the room. He was not alarmed at
this, only a little surprised, for no later than the morning Mr.
AVontus had declared that his foot was much worse, and that
it was utterly impossible for him to take any out-door exercise.
In the fact that Thomas Thomson was also absent, it was fair
to presume that Mr. Wontus had changed his mind ; and, by
way of occupying his time, Mr. Nidd procured writing mate-
rials, and sat down to write a letter — which was but fulfilling
a promise — to Mrs. Squirm. Business had made him a rather
slow and prosy composer at best, and it was only after a long
while that he succeeded in producing the following letter,
which, I may say, bears, to some extent, the impress of a mind
tinged with a curious mixture of love, and conveyancing and
mysterious threats :
At the Capital of the Nation.
My dear Mrs. Squirm : uMadam, — I have seen much
of the world since leaving your hospitcible roof, and have
been subjected to many adventures appertaining to said sight
of the world aforesaid. My recollections of your house and
13*
150 WONT us, OR
its appurtenances are of the most pleasing kind, and I feel as
though I had some right, title, and interest therein ; provided,
always, nevertheless, that the presence therein of a certain
being, by the name of H , is in nowise desired or per-
mitted by the — I may say — charming occupant thereof In
contemplating the aforesaid H 's infamous presumption in
prosecuting all that certain widow, who shall be nameless, for
a dower, I am sometimes led to commit, in my mind, a homi-
cide, and fear to contemplate what might be should I meet
the said H in the aforesaid house or lot, or in any of the
ways, or courses, or appurtenances thereof whatsoever. Let
him beware ! of the which he now hath timely notice.
My dear Mrs. Squirm, as first above written, I should have
written to you at some previous time ; but the scenes and in-
cidents, as hereinbefore mentioned, appertaining to a man of
the world, of the which, I may say, I have become one, have
prevented me from accomplishing the document last above
referred to. Pardon this seeming neglect ; in consideration
whereof I hereby bargain, consent, and agree not to allow it
to occur again, as will more fully and at large appear.
With deep feeling for your welfare, and earnest desire to do
bodily injury to the caid H , I am, my dear 31rs. Squirm,
as aforesaid, yours, etc., Gascon Nidd.
The adage has it that " habit is second nature ;" and if the
foregoing letter proves anything, it verifies the truth of the
adage, and conclusively shows that a man may become so
thoroughly accustomed to using regular set expressions and
terms that they even find a place in productions that are not
of a business nature. Nidd himself was a man of habit.
Habit had made him the severe business man referred to by
Mr. Wontus in the earlier records of the corps ; and when he
signed his name to the foregoing he also added the words,
" signed, sealed, and delivered in the presence of ." But
it occurred to him that that language was not exactly the
language for a production which he chose to term a love-letter,
and he expunged them with his knife, folded the letter care-
fully, and addressed it to Mrs. Squirm.
The letter being sealed, and a stamp affixed. 3Ir. Nidd con-
sulted his watch, and said, " Ten o'clock ! Something wrong
here ;" and he then opened the window and looked up and
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 151
down the street, and then resumed his seat. A half-hour
more passed, but still no signs of any single member of the
corps. He became alarmed, and walked to the head of the
stairs, and called lustily for the landlady. That personage,
who was entirely familiar with some of the important incidents
narrated in the foregoing, was evidently expecting to be called
upon, and Mr. Nidd's voice had scarcely ceased to sound
through the house when a female voice from below demanded
to know what was wanted.
" Where's Mr. Wontus ?" asked Mr. Nidd, down the stairs.
" Gone."
" Where's Thomson ?"
" Gone out !"
" Where have they gone to ; do you know, ma'am ?"
" The first mentioned has been arrested by the authorities,
and the other one has gone out — I don't know where," cried
the female voice. ^
There was silence for a few moments.
" Madam, I would like to speak to you ; will you come up,
or shall I come down?" asked Mr. Nidd ; but without waiting
for a reply the gentleman started down-stairs, at the bottom
of which he found the landlady.
It is said of the daughters of Oceanus and Amphitrite that
their smiles were so charming that those of the other sex who
beheld them were so completely spell-bound that they found
it impossible to move, and hence often died of starvation. Now,
I cannot say that Mr. Nidd's landlady had aspirations anything
like the mythological young ladies referred to, but certain it
is that when Mr. Nidd found her her face was wreathed in
smiles, and her manner most entertaining and captivating. At
almost any other time during the life of Mr. Nidd, that gen-
tleman would have fallen a ready victim to the slightest blan-
dishments of a woman like his landlady ; but now his mind
was filled with other subjects (and he carried the letter to
Mrs. Squirm in his pocket), so, without heeding the mellow
voice and sweet smile, he bravely asked the lady what she
knew of Mr. AVontus. She insisted on Mr. Nidd walking into
the parlor, but the gentleman declined on account of the late-
ness of the hour, and repeated his cpiestion. Still she insisted
on his walking in, and it was only when Mr. Nidd's patience
was well-nigh exhausted that the lady vouchsafed the infor-
152 WOXTUS, OR I
mation, in rather bitter tones, that Mr. "Wontus had been de-
voting a great part of his time recently to a rebel woman who
roomed in the third-story front, and that the provost-marshal
had sent a guard to arrest him.
"Why, what for?" anxiously inquired Mr. Nidd, whose
eyes had been thoroughly opened by the statement of the lady.
"I asked one of the men," replied the landlady, "and ho
said that the dear man was charged with aiJin' and supportin'
the rebellion."
" The devil you say !" cried Mr. Nidd, excitedly. " And
they took him oif ?"
" Yes, sir ! Poor man ! how my very heart did ache when
I saw him marchin' off between them ugly soldiers! We'ans
have no peace anywhar any more, anyhow." She looked as
though she might weep with a slight effort.
" Where's Thomson ?" shouted Nidd, abruptly- rushing up
the stairs.
" Grone out, sir !"
Mr. Nidd stopped to hear no more, but leaving a short note
informing the other members of the corps that he had gone
out in search of Mr. Wontus. he was about rushing into the
street, when Thomas Thomson's face, as pale as ashes, confronted
him. In a moment Mr. Nidd had seized that individual by
the collar, and dragged him up-stairs.
" Now, sir, where is your master?" said Mr. Nidd.
" Gone to be a corpse of observation, I reckon," replied Mr.
Thomson, throwing himself into a chair, and speaking most
dolefully. " He's been wantin' for to do it for a long time, and
I guess he's gone."
" What do you mean?" said Mr. Nidd, passionately. " No
trifling, you scoundrel ! where is Mr. Wontus ? answer me
Cjuickly, or by sand-hill, I'll brain you !" Mr. Nidd was almost
beside himself, and that he should be is not at all surprising
when we recollect that the brief statement which he received
from the landlady was but a poor guide to turn his ideas into
such a current as would attribute any crime whatsoever to his
dearest friend, and now he demanded again a full explanation
from Thomas Thomson. Fear of personal violence assisted
Mr. Thomson to find his tongue, and he quickly informed Mr.
Nidd of all the facts concerning the arrest, together with some
observations on the singular conduct of the landlady. Further
THE CORPS OF OBSERYATIOX. I53
he could not say, altliough he had been out all evening search-
ing for the place at which Mr. Wontus was confined.
" I see," said Mr. Nidd, assuming a thoughtful attitude and
consulting his wartch. " Jealousy !"
Complete and, to Thomas Thomson, most painful silence
reigned for some time, and when it was l3roken, the breach was
made by Mr. Nidd. His voice had assumed its accustomed dry
philosophical tone, and his foce was bereft of any of those traces
which the philologists put under the head of the word " feeling."
" Thomson," said Mr. Nidd, rubbing the palms of his hands
on his knees, " what has brought all this about ?"
" I don't know, sir," answered Thomson, meekly.
" Was it a woman ?"
" I think it was, sir."
" Oh, you think it was ?"
" Yes, sir."
" What woman?"
" I don't know, sir."
" The devil you don't !" cried Mr. Nidd, with some asperity ;
but after a moment's pause, he added, in his usual voice:
" Was it the woman up-stairs or the woman down-stairs ?"
" I think it was, sir."
" You think what was ?"
" I think it was one of 'em."
" Yes, yes, — I know ; but which one ?"
" If I was blistered, sir, I couldn't tell."
" Was Mr. Wontus anyways sociable with the woman up-
stairs?"
" I think he was." And Mr. Thomson commenced edging
towards the door.
" With the woman down-stairs ?" continued Mr. Nidd.
" I think he was, as also with her too, sir ; bat not so much
as 'tother one."
" Stop !" commanded Mr. Nidd, noticing Tommy's intention
to leave the room. Tommy stopped. " Sit down," com-
manded Mr. Nidd. Thomson sat down. " Now, sir, I want
you to tell me truly, and as precisely as you can, just what has
happened in this house since your master has been indisposed.
I think I see where the trouble lies ; but I must know my
case thoroughly, as the lawyers say, before I commence pro-
ceedings. Don't be afraid, Mr. Thomson ; it is all for Mr.
154 WOXTUS, OR
Wontus's benefit, and FU see that 3'our part in the matter is
fully explained."
Mr. Nidd was compelled to use further seductive arguments
before he could induce the man to divulge anything ; but at
length Mr. Thomson opened his heart, and Mr. Nidd's eyes,
by the recital of much that the reader already knows, together
with a full interpretation of sundry glances and mutterings
which the landlady had made use of on divers occasions when
she found Mr. Wontus so attentive to the sick woman.
" And the sick woman's a rebel, eh ?"
" A rank rebel. I heard her say so to Mr. Wontus this
very day."
" Very good, very good," cried Mr. Nidd. rising. " All
plain. The old fool ! Women, women ! I thought so, goU
if I didn't." With this indelicate but expressive lanpruage,
Mr. Xidd again looked at his watch, remarked that Wilkins
was not in yet, and. dismissing Mr. Thomson, soon after turned
into bed.
Mr. Nidd was not exactly the type of a handsome man at
any time, but there were times when he looked worse than he
did on others. The next morning his appearance was anything
but prepossessing. His short hair would persist in standing
out in a way very shocking to the rules of propriety, and his
face was darker than ever. During breakfast he uttered not
so much as a syllable to Mr. Thomson, and it was only after he
had lit his cigar that he deigned to say that he was going out
in search of Mr. Wontus, and intended bringing him back with
him. He spoke calmly and deliberately, but would not li.-?ten
to Mr. Thomson's offer to accompany him. He would go alone.
Men, great numbers of them, have had the privilege of
seeing, among the other mysteries of Wa.shington, a tall, gen-
teel gentleman, whose suave manners and graceful mien occa-
sionally made him the admiration of the ladies, and whose
little peculiarities made him an object of more than passing
interest to every male visitor at the capital. I have said that
he was occasionally the admiration of the ladies : those occa-
sions were when he was in that condition vulgarly called
" luck," and at such times he found himself encased in a suit
of clothes, if not exactly in the fashion, why, very near it.
His face was as familiar to the tradespeople of the city as the
dome of the Capitol, and his appearance at any man's door
i
THE CORPS OF OBSEIiVATION. 155
was the signal for closing the same. He was the mortal foe
of tailors, shoemakers, and others who dealt in gentlemen's
ware. The moment a stranger set up business this m m
Wiis sure to hear of it, and \inless the stranger was very quick
he was made to pay the penalty of his tardiness with a suit
of clothes or something of that sort. Beau Groodsell was as
distinctive a feature in Washington as Brummel, years ago,
Wtis in London.
Hotels, unlike other establishments, cannot very well close
their doors on a man, particularly if that man is good-natured
as well as polite and agreeable. Therefore, the man called
Beau Goodsell — and who, by the way, might have been the
owner of some other name — was a constant guest at the dif-
ferent hotels : not the kind of guest which we usually mean
when we use that term, but one of those peculiar guests who,
through having nothing else to do, soon come to look upon
themselves as a part of the furniture or other fixtures. No-
body ever knew how Mr. Groodsell lived ; in fact, it is ques-
tionable whether he knew himself, since it was so seldom that
he could be seen outside of some one of the hotels on the
avenue. He was vivacious, and necessity had made him
quick to seize on everything that could turn to his advantage.
He was never known to have any money, at least not in those
days, but played the same part to society that a barnacle does
to a ship. That it should turn out as unfortunate that a gen-
tleman like this and one like Mr. Wilkins should accidentally
meet, the sequel will show.
When Mr. Nidd passed out of the hotel, at the conclusion
of Mr. Wilkins's short story, another gentleman passed in ;
and it was not long before the gentleman who had just en-
tered espied Mr. Wilkins. To a stranger, and even to those
who knew him well, Mr. Wilkins's appearance was at times
dec^eptive. His manner was that of a man of the world, and
when Mr. Goodsell saw him he felt sure that there was fish
for his net. When the party went into the bar-room to
liquor he followed, and nodded to Wilkins as one casual ac-
quaintance would nod to another. It is almost superfluous to
say that Mr. Wilkins returned the nod with compound interest.
Mr. Groodsell knew Mr. Wilkins.
Mr. Wilkins was ready to swear that he had met Mr. Grood-
sell at the verge of the crater of Vesuvius.
156 WOXTUS,'OR
Mr. Goodsell recollected the circumstance perfectly well.
Mr. Wilkins had forprotten his name. Mr. Goodsell gave
it to him, and Mr. Wilkins introduced him to the Hon. Mr.
Leatherhead and the rest. The military men smiled know-
ingly, and all drank. Then they conversed a little while, and
all drank again. A little more conversation, and all drank
again. Mr. Wilkins was very polite to Mr. Goodsell, and
Mr. Goodsell Wcis very polite to Mr. Wilkins.
Question by Hon. Mr. Leatherhead : '* Will you gentlemen
take tea with me?"
The gentlemen were only too happy, and did take tea ; . and
after that visited the Canterbury, where they drank many
times — so many times that Mr. Goodsell allowed that he was
" a little yo»€," but for all that volunteered to accompany Mr.
Wilkins home. The Hon. Mr. Leatherhead and the military
gentlemen went one way, and Mr. Wilkins and his new-found
friend would have gone another had it not been that that fear-
ful gTiard, the provost, caught them. 3Ir. Wilkins vowed that
he belonged to the French embassy, and Mr. Goodsell was not
only willing to swear that such was the fact, but went further,
and did swear it. But the provost was incorrigible. Mr.
Goodsell had evidently been in their hands before, and was
summarily dismissed ; but Mr. Wilkins, despite his most
vehement and indignant protests, followed by magnificent
promises and maudlin entreaties, was marched oflP to the
guard-house.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 157
CHAPTER XIII.
MAKES USE OF THE PRESIDENT AND LIBERATES THE HERO
FROM PRISON.
"A prison is a house of care,
A place where none can thrive,
A touchstone true to try a friend,
A grave for one alive ;
Sometimes a place of right,
Sometimes a place of wrong,
Sometimes a place of rogues and thieves,
And honest men among."
These lines, or tliouglits of similar import, ran through Mr.
Wontus's head, as, for the first time, he permitted his eyes to
wander calmly from object to object, until he had taken a full
and complete survey of the room and its occupants. The
new-born day had just rolled back the sombre sheet of night
and opened his wondrous eye, so full of light and beauty, and
Phoebus, as fresh as a bridegroom to his mate, came dancing
forth, smiling as he did so, until his whole path was lit up
with the dazzling beauty of his morning robes. From far
over the tree-tops in the distant east came the brazen glances
of Sol, first tinging the plumes on the head of America (on
the dome of the Capitol) with his golden touch, and then
throwing aslant his glances over the house-tops until they
found their way through the barred windows and into the
guard-room where Mr. Wontus was having a new experience.
Snoring lustily by his side was the prostrate form of Mr.
Wilkins, and lying in different parts of the room were the
forqas of the men, rendered careless and hard by constant
association with miseiy and death. The blast of trumpets
and the beating of drums sounding the reveille, and habit soon
brought most of the shapeless masses of humanity to their
feet, and they assumed the form of men. Mr. Wontus was
on his feet, — in fact, he had been in that position most of the
uight; for fear, and the horrible thought that through his
14
158 wo XT us, on
ignorance of military affairs he might have been innocently
guilty of some act which made him amenable to the law, so
worked upon his nervous system that he would have found it
impossible to sleep even had he been provided with a com-
fortable bed. Reaction had set in, and the courage which he
had so wonderfully displayed the day before gently simmered
away, until morning found it much worse than it had been
since his incarceration, and supplanted by the most distressing
goblins of a badly-shattered and distressed mind. He en-
deavored to shake off the feeling, and hoped to assist himself
in so doing by conversation with some of his fellow-prisoners.
His Irish friend was yet stretched out upon the floor, and a
desire to talk with somebody induced him to single out an
individual. Near him, sitting on the floor, with his feet
drawn up, his arms locked over his knees, and his face resting
on them, was a soldier whom Mr. Wontus ventured to address.
" Good-morning, sir," said he, speaking in a low and modest
tone. ' ' Grood-morning. ' '
Mr. Wontus was really startled at the sound of his own
voice, but the soldier neither heeded the remark nor displayed
the slightest indication that he had even heard him. The step
once taken, Mr. Wontus felt that he must follow it up.
"Good-morning, sir," he repeated; this time a little louder
than before.
No movement or reply.
" Fine morning," said Mr. Wontus, looking toward the
grated window.
" Go to !" shouted the soldier, vehemently, using such
language as made even Mr. Wontus tremble, and hence would
be highly improper to mention here. Its effect was instanta-
neous and salutary, for Mr. Wontus at once shrank back, and
thought he had good reason to venture no further remarks.
It was not many moments after the instance just narrated,
before the door swung open, and the officer of the guard and
a file of men walked into the room, and shouted, " Fall in,
company Q !"
The seventeenth letter of the alphabet is probably not one
of the most euphonious, nor should it be understood by the
unmilitary mind as being any part or parcel of a regimental
organization, and yet company Q was quite as familiar to many
men in the army as any other company was to the regimental
THE COUPS OF OBSERVATION. I59
commander. It had, at the time I write, and will no doubt
continue to have, one most striking peculiarity, that is, that
it never needs the services of a recruiting officer to keep it up
to the standard. Another thing concerning this particular
company is its rather paradoxical condition at all times, viz.,
that it is always full, even if it has but one man in it, and can
be, and is, dispensed with at any moment, and without a pang
of regret. Other companies of a regiment melt away, or fall
like the tender grass before the scythe, and are spoken of in
wonderful whispers ; but company Q may melt (it never falls),
but it will not stay melted, for a breath may instill into its weak-
ening ranks all the excitement and vigor of a giant. To continue.
Slowly and sadly the men ranged themselves along one side
of the room, preparatory to being counted and answering to
the call of the roll. The noise and buj^tle had no effect upon
Mr. Wilkins, further than to induce him to change his position
a little, and it was not until he had received the particular
attention of the toe of the officer's boot that he managed to get
himself into a sitting posture. Among the things that I have often
heard of, but which I have never seen, is a toad eating fire ;
in fact, I can scarcely bring my mind to believe that a toad
will eat fire at all, at least voluntarily, and yet I have been in-
formed on more than one occasion that certain people's eyes
snapped and winked " like a toad eating fire." Taking it for
granted, then, that a toad will eat fire, and that his eyes will
have a very peculiar appearance during the moments that he
is indulging in that rather exciting diet, I may be excused for
saying that Mr. Wilkins's eyes snapped like a toad eating fire,
as he gazed with stupid wonderment at his surroundings. As
for Mr. AVontus, he had an idea, which was soon put to flight,
however, that he had nothing in common with the other pris-
oners, and accordingly walked to the other end of the room.
The officer had kept his eye on Mr. Wontus, and as soon as
Wilkins had been made to understand what was expected of
him, and had taken his place in the ranks of company Q, the
officer commanded Mr. Wontus to come forward and take his
place in the ranks. This was the crowning of his trouble; and
when at length he had taken his place in the line and answered
to his name, the tears welled up in his eyes, and he gave vent
to such a sigh as to cause the soldiers nearest to him to look
upon him with pity.
160 WONTUS, OR
The roll called and the prisoners again counted, the officer
and his men withdrew, and soon after breakfast was served.
Now this breakfast was no bettor and no worse than the sol-
diers in the field were eating, and consisted of a box of bread,
a piece of cold boiled pork, and a tincup of coffee ; but had
it been the most savory dish from the hand of Soyer, Mr. Won-
tus could not have enjoyed it. Through the kindness of one
of his fellow-prisoners, who loaned him his cup, ^Ir. Wontus
partook of a little coffee, but with that exception he fasted.
3Ir. Wilkius had evidently slept himself into forgetful ness,
or else he purposely avoided Mr. Wontus, for both names were
called among the Ws; at any rate, he did not come in contact
with him, but buried himself in conversation with the prison-
ers. Mr. Wontus was in too much trouble to notice this par-
ticularly, and had taken his place in a dark corner of the
room, when the well-remembered voice of Michael Skilligan
shouted :
" Howly Mother ! the relief! Hurrah, boys, the new guard's
come; but we'll be out o' this I dunno purty soon!" It
cannot be known whether Mr. Skilligan meant this to be a
mere remembrance of pleasure, or whether he intended it as
an interrogatory; but whatever it was intended for, it appeared
to answer all purposes, and at once the men gathered up their
blankets and clustered about the doorway.
''Come out o' that, ye auld guffin," cried the Irishman,
beckoning vigorously to Mr. Wontus. Mr. Wontus obeyed,
and took his place at the end of the line. Wilkins was some
distance ahead of him, but he now noticed Mr. Wontus, and,
with certain grimaces and contortions, insisted on Wontus
taking his place. W. answered only by a melancholy inclina-
tion of the head, and the doors being opened, the prisoners
were marched out. Mr. Wontus followed in the line, and was
persuading himself to insist on an apology for the treatment
he had experienced; but when he came to pass through the
door the guard placed his musket across the way, and re-
marked, as he shut the door with a bang :
" You can't go just now, mister. Only the boys that have
to join their regiments are wanted." And Mr. Wontus tottered
back into the guard-house, and paced the floor in a condition
of mind bordering on insanity.
Let us now return to the other members of the corps.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. IGl
With tremendous strides Gascon Nidd passed tlirougli the
City Hall square, up E to Seventh, thence to F, and thence
to the Avenue and Seventeenth Street. Having, by inquiry,
ascertained that the commandant of the city was in his office,
Mr. Nidd rushed through the crowd which thronged the side-
walk, and no doubt would have made his way immediately to
the presence of the general, had it not been for the persuasions
of one of the boys in blue, who, the more Mr. Nidd insisted
on passing him, the more he insisted that he should not; and
it was not until that gentleman had been forced back into the
crowd that he bethought himself of the necessity of caution
and clever engineering. He wrote his name on a card, and,
doing it up in a bill, he gave it to a messenger, and begged
that it be presented. Mr. Nidd was shown up in a few mo-
ments, while men who came before him, but who were not
possessed of the "open sesame," waited.
His name was announced, and he was shown into the pres-
ence of the commandant. Mr. Nidd was accustomed to cut-
ting business short, and, without unnecessary delay, he laid
the whole affair of Mr. Wontus's arrest before the officer.
" Very sorry, sir," said the general, " but that's a very se-
rious charge ; and while what you say may be perfectly true,
yet I do not feel like acting hastily in the matter."
"Who is his accuser?' asked Mr. Nidd.
The officer took some papers up and announced that the
charge was signed by a lady by the name of Battadore.
" The landlady !" cried Mr. Nidd. " I thought so !" And then
he undertook to explain how the charges were entirely false and
groundless ; how an act of kindness was made to appear a crime.
The general listened patiently, and at the conclusion of Mr.
Nidd's remarks proceeded to say that the government had ex-
perienced so much treachery in the most unlooked-for places,
that it had been determined upon to throttle treason wherever
it was found. He was sorry to hear that a gentleman like Mr.
AVontus should be among the sufferers, but as the charges had
been made, and he knew nothing concerning the truth or falsity
of them, he considered it his duty to investigate them. He
could not tell when the investigation would take place, but he
hoped within a day or two. As he concluded, he rang a bell,
ind a man presented himself who had lost a horse, and believed
1-0 had been stolen, but by whom he could not say, — never-
14*
162 woxTcs; or
theless he believed it was the soldiprs, and ho had come to
secure the money vahie of the hor.se from the government.
Mr. Xidd saw that he was to receive no further attention,
and having given his address to tlie commandant, he left the
building sorely troubled. At first he thought he would go to
see ]Mr. Wontus, but it occurred to him that unless he had
good news for him he had better remain away ; and it was
while these thoughts were pa.ssing through his head that it oc-
cuired to him that it might result in some good for him to call
on Mr. Lincoln. Passing down the avenue, he proceeded
directly to the White House.
It was yet early — scarcely nine o'clock, I think — when he
walked in and proceeded directly to the waiting-room. Once
here a sight met his eyes which at once gave him the true in-
terpretation of Mr. Lincoln's care-worn look. The waiting-
room itself was not only filled to overflowing with people, but
the halls and lobbies had each their quota. A gentleman sat
at a desk in the centre of the room and received the cards of
the visitors as they were presented, and gave such information
to inquiries as was called for. Here were women robed in the
weeds of mourning, who came to ask the intercession of the
chief magistrate of the nation for a son, now languishing in
some one of the prison-pens of the South. Here, a man whose
son had enlisted in the army against his will ; there, a woman
with brazen effrontery demanding pay for a barn in which she
had concealed a party of the enemy ; here, an ofiicer who had
been dismissed the service, and wished to be reinstated ; there,
a congressman who wished a place for his henchman ; yonder,
a man who asks a contract ; there, a general who wishes to
complain of the treatment he had received from his superior ;
here, a man who wishes to advise as to the proper mode of
conducting the war ; and scores of others stand by, eager and
determined to secure the private ear of the President. How
many tales of woe and sorrow ; how many stories of falseness
and cruelty ; how many words indicative of all the different
passions which actuate men, does this man have to listen to
each day, thought Mr. Xidd, as he surveyed the groups ; and
then he added, who would be the President of the republic
at such a time as this ? He answered the query himself and
declared that with all his poverty and obscurity he would not
change places.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 163
It was over an hour Qre Mr. Nidd succeeded in being pre-
sented to tlie President, and during all this time the crowd of
visitors multiplied, until there was scarcely standing room
left.
"Mr. Gascon Nidd !" shouted the usher, and Mr. Nidd fol-
lowed him into the room and stood in the presence of the
President. He sat at his desk writing, and the same sad
smile played about his mouth and looked out of his eyes.
" Well, sir," asked the President, in a commonplace, weary
tone, " what can I do for you?" As he spoke he looked up,
and seeing the tall form of Mr. Nidd bowing before him like
a slender reed bows to the wind, his eye lit up, and reaching
out his hand, remarked, " You want something; sit down."
What in Mr. Nidd had been respect before was now ven-
eration, and he felt as he never felt before, and never expected
to be made feel by mortal man. The multitude of people who
had seen the President already this morning, and the throng
yet to come, presented themselves before him like the figures
of a vision, and he felt that it would be better in him to seek
some other channel.
"Excuse me, sir," remarked the President, after a brief
pause ; "I have much to attend to, as you see, for I must
speak a comforting word to all these people who come to me
with their troubles, as well as attend to the other business of
my office. What can I do for you ? I know you want some-
thing."
"Mr. Lincoln," said Mr. Nidd, apologetically, "I am very
sorry to have to trouble you, — you v/ho have so much to at-
tend to, and I "
"Never mind, my friend; we have no time for apologies;
speak what you wish." And the President's long fingers
moved nervously, as though they would go on with the work
of their own volition.
Mr. Nidd comprehended the case and at once commenced
giving the President a history of Mr. Wontus's situation in
the clearest possible manner, not forgetting to put forth his
philanthropy and patriotism in the very best possible light.
The President listened patiently, and at the conclusion asked
Mr. Nidd if he could call again at eight o'clock in the evening.
" I can give you no good reason to hope," said the President,
as Mr. Nidd moved toward the door, " but call at that hour,
1(54 WON TVS, OR
and we will sog what can be done ; in the mean time go see
your friend, and tell him to be of good cheer ; to never say
die ; the darkest hour, you know, is just before day. I some-
times think that it is the hour before day with our army, and
that it is not rightly awake yet." And smiling, he touched
the bell, the usher appeared, Mr. Nidd walked out, and others
took his place.
Xidd at once proceeded to the guard-house, where he had a
rather distressing and protracted interview with Mr. Wontus,
who, after having the affair fully explained to him, appeared
to gain back some of his lost spirit and courage, and his friend
lef^him after a time in a condition as cheerful as any man
could be who was confined in prison for befriending the cause
that imprisoned him ; for as yet Mr. Wontus was entirely at
sea concerning the reason for the charges.
On arriving at his lodgings the first individual Nidd met
was Mr. AYilkius, who had attended to his wardrobe, and pre-
sented quite a respectable appearance. When Mr. Nidd in-
formed him that Wontus was in the guard-house, Wilkins
elevated his eyebrows, shrugged his shoulders, and remarked
in the most commonplace way that he had only left him a
few hours since, and knew all about it. Mr. Nidd quite for-
got the use that Mr. Wilkins had made of his name the even-
ing previous, and with more interest than he usually displayed,
insisted on Wilkins telling him all about it. As the reader
is already aware that he knew nothing of the incarceration of
Mr. Wontus, except the mere fact that he had seen him in
the guard-house, it is only necessar}" to state that his story to
Mr. Nidd was strangely at variance with the facts, because he
avowed that he had insisted on being confined simply that he
might be enabled to protect and afibrd Mr. Wontus the solace
of company.
'• Much to my regret," he continued, '• Mr. Wontus didn't
want any company, and paid as little attention to me as he
could."
Mr. Nidd's next business was to find the landlady, which
he did without trouble, that lady being very close to the door
and in a position which might suggest that she had been list-
ening. Mr. Nidd opened the business in rather sharp, legal
style, and before the lady was rightly aware of what he was
saying, had showered upon her such a quantity of language,
THE CORPS OF OnSERVATfOy. 1G5
in which the words lie, flilse charges, meanness, sick woman,
and jealousy were prominently set forth, that at the conclusion
the lady said he was a brute, and that she should faint, and
accordingly passed to her own apartment to indulge in that
luxury.
Following this, Mr. Nidd insisted on Thomas Thomson es-
corting him up-stairs and introducing him to the sick woman.
Mr. Thomson reluctantly consented, and it was done. Mr.
Nidd was not exactly prepared to meet the sight afforded him
on entering the room, and he quailed beneath the flashing eye
that met his. The lady asked him twice what his business
was before he answered ; but finally he found his tongue, and
gave her the full particulars as far as his knowledge went, not
once forgetting, however, to give to the treacherous landlady
her full quantum of credit. The invalid expressed pain, mor-
tification, and sorrow, and blamed herself for being the sole
cause of all JMr. Wontus's trouble.
Before Nidd had seen the lady he was fully convinced
that she had considerable to answer for in the matter ; but
now that he had seen her, that she was before him, such
thoughts faded away, and he was ready to avow, in the
strongest terms necessary, that she was in no way answerable.
She recounted Mr. Wontus's many virtues ; how noble-
hearted and kind he was, and how he saved her and her child
from a condition of abject poverty and misery. It is probable
that Mr. Nidd spent a longer time than was absolutely neces-
sary with the invalid ; but, like other things, the interview
had an end, and he and Mr. Thomson, who had been present
all the time, started to leave the room. I say started, because
Mr. Nidd did not go just at that moment, but stopped to take
another look and mention the fact that he had an appointment
with the President in Mr. Wontus's behalf.
" I pray you do not heed that cruel monster !" cried the
lady, at the mention of Mr. Lincoln's name.
" Why not?" inquired Mr. Nidd, somewhat surprised.
" Oh, the untold misery, the cruelty, the treachery of that
man !" cried the*lady ; ^' that heathen, which I can only liken
unto a Vandal ! The very mention of his name makes me
shudder !" And she covered her face with her hands.
" Umph !" ejaculated Mr. Nidd. And then, after a mo-
ment's pause, he said, in a slow, earnest manner: "Madam,
166 W ox TVS, OR
until very recently I thought as you do. I had not seen the
man. I did not know him. I had heard people speak of him
as you have spoken of him, even in my own city; and I could
agree with them then, but now I cannot. I have no desire to
force an opinion upon you which may be distasteful to you,
but it is a simple duty which I consider one owes to his fel-
low-man to speak of a man as you find him. Politically, I
have opposed Abraham Lincoln ; but if he were a candidate
for the presidenc}' tomorrow. I would vote for him. I have
met him, and have seen with my own eyes that a nobler-
hearted, more upright. Christian man never lived since the
days of Washington. This I know, this I feel, and, madam,
I stand by it. If you — even you — had seen what I have
seen to-drt}^, if you could have seen his patience and heard his
kind words to people who come to him with the most trifling
complaints, I am sure you would — every just and honorable
person would — agree with me. I will keep my engagement."
Having said this, Mr. Nidd did not wait for a reply, but
walked quickly down the stairs.
At eight o'clock 3Ir. Xidd was at the presidential mansion.
The night was cloudy, and the street lamps were just bright
enough along the wide avenue to present everything in its
gloomiest light. The doorkeeper had taken Mr. Nidd's card
up, and the visitor threw himself into a chair, and was busy
with his thoughts, when a hand was laid upon his shoulder,
and the President stood before him. Mr. Xidd rose quickly,
and gi'asping the extended hand, looked at him as though he
were a spectre who had thus suddenly come upon him. Mr.
Lincoln wore a slouch hat, well pulled down over his face, and a
long suitout, which hung in loose folds about his slender person.
"Are you ready?" he asked, in a mild, quiet tone. '^We
have but little time, for I have an engagement with the Sec-
retary of War at nine o'clock, which nothing short of death
should defer."
Mr. Nidd signified that he was ready, and the two gentle-
men started out together, and pa.ssed quietly through the
grounds and into the street. As they walked" along. 3Ir. Nidd
looked at the tall form of the President, and tried to guess his
thoughts. What were they? Perhaps with the army, which
lies surrounding the States in rebellion ; perhaps with some
poor, unfortunate boy, whose ignorance of duty had brought
THE conrs of observation. ig7
litm to the vorpie of disgrace, perhaps death ; perhaps with liis
own family and little ones ; but surely not with himself
"Are you not afraid, sir?" asked Mr. Nidd, as they walked
alonu;.
''Afraid!" echoed Mr. Lincoln. "Why should I be
afraid? Surely, I have done no harm to any man."'
" Yes, yes," cried Mr. Nidd. " But all the people of the
whole South are your enemies, and there are also many in the
North who hate you."
" My friend," said the President, moderating his gait and
speaking earnestly, " I understand you ; but that I am here
with you is an evidence that I am not afraid. I have a deep
and abiding faith in Him who doeth all things well. If I am
to die, I stand ready at all times to obey His will. I would
not voluntarily throw myself into danger, for I feel that I
have a duty to perform before I shall be called away ; and yet
(his voice assumed a deeper tone as he spoke), could my poor
life save the country in this hour of danger, — could it avert
the misery which this terrible war must entail upon the
people, — I would give it, not only willingly, but gladly. I
have made every overture to the South that an honorable man
could or the loyal people will allow ; but they scoff at my best
endeavors, and seek to destroy that which I have sworn to
protect and preserve. No, no, my friend. I feel that I am
entirely in the hands of my Maker, and I pray to Him to give
me the strength and courage to do my duty. Yes, the day
will come when I shall pass away ; but when it does, believe
me that I shall be prepared to bow in deep submission to Him
who rules the high and low alike."
Mr. Nidd was deeply affected with the manner and language
of the President, and nothing more was said until they arrived
opposite the guard-house.
" I do not want to be known, if I can help it," said Mr.
Lincoln, " and you must assist me in preserving my incog.
Insist on seeing the officer of the guard, and then, if neces-
sary, — if we cannot see your friend without, — I shall make
myself known."
As they approached, an officer was standing in the door-
way, who scrutinized them closely as they entered.
" You have a prisoner here by the name of Wontus?" said
iMr. Nidd, approaching him. " I would like to see him."
168 WOXTUS, OR
" Impossible, sir, at this hour."
" Not for a moment?"
*' Not for a second, sir."
" This gentleman is an attorney," said Mr. Nidd, pointing
to the President. " Can't he be brought into the office for a
moment?"
" I have no objections myself, gentlemen, but the orders are
very strict, and I do not care to take the responsibility of
breaking them."
" Would that all the officers were that way !" said Mr. Lin-
coln, in a whisper.
"Is the general here, — the military governor?" inquired
Mr. Nidd.
" No, sir ; he is at his room, I presume."
" Is there any one here who acts for him in his absence ?"
asked Nidd.
" The Officer of the Day — that gentleman there — does so
occasionally." And he pointed to an officer who, at that
moment, was passing along the hall.
Mr. Nidd attacked this officer immediatel}', and with strong
pleading at length induced him to have Mr. Wontus brought
to the office. When he came in he looked bad, very bad.
His eyes were swollen and red, his unkempt hair fell in tangled
masses about his face, and he was but a wreck of the jolly,
good-natured Wontus. There wasn't spirit enough in him to
greet Mr. Nidd, and it was only by dint of persuasion that he
was induced to sit down and be composed.
The President soon took a seat by his side, and as they were
alone in the room, except the guard, he commenced a conversa-
tion with Mr. Wontus, following about the same line that an
honest attorney would before accepting a retainer. He inquired
fully into Mr. Wontus' s aims and intentions, and then offered his
sei-vices as a volunteer counsel. To this Mr. Wontus would
not agree ; he had done nothing, and he would rather languish
in prison all his life than make an effort to clear himself of a
charge which had no foundation, and thereby give color to the
proceedings. At the end of the conversation Mr. Lincoln
took Nidd aside, and informed him that he believed his friend
to be unquestionably guiltless, and that he should be instantly
liberated.
'* Good-by, sir," said the President, taking Mr. Wontus's
TTIE CORPS OF OBSERVATION, 't 1^9
fevered, tremblinp; Lands in his and looking at him with sym-
pathy beaming in his eye. " I think I can satisfy the Secre-
tary of War of your innocence, although he has the reputation
of being a cold man ; and if I am successful, you will be lib-
erated in a few minutes. Good-by, sir," he repeated. " Your
friend must fetch you to see me." And saying this he walked
out of the room.
Ten minutes had passed since he left, and yet no word. Mr,
Nidd was becoming nervous ; Mr, Wontus was resigned. The
guard had twice suggested that Mr. Wontus ought to return
to the " parlor" ; but Nidd begged but a minute more time,
and he sat listening for the footsteps of the messenger.
" He comes !" cried Nidd, as voices were heard in the hall.
The sound of voices was soon followed by the officer, accom-
panied by a soldier in undress uniform, and stepping up to the
light, the officer read a paper which had just been presented
to him. '' You are free to depart, sir," said he, turning to Mr.
Wontus. But the words had scarcely died upon his lips when
Mr. Wontus swooned away. With Nidd the good news had
quite a different effect. He at once became very affectionate,
and, besides doing very many other strange things, insisted on
embracing the messenger from the Secretary of War, which
kindness was respectfully but positively declined. Leaving the
officer to attend to Mr. Wontus, Mr. Nidd rushed out, and in
a few moments returned with a carriage. He found Mr. Won-
tus entirely recovered from his swoon, and scarcely taking time
to thank the officer for his services in the premises, he escorted
his friend to the vehicle, and was soon rattling down the
avenue toward his lodgings.
15
170 * • WONTUS, OR
CHAPTER XIV.
SOMEWHAT PHILOSOPHICAL WONTUS AND NIDD VISIT THE
PRESIDENT AND MAKE SOME EXPLANATIONS.
Men who are always precisely in the same mood or humor
are so exceedingly rare that I have often wondered, and so
have others. I presume, when reading works of fiction, whether
the writers had drawn their characters from real life, or whether
their existence was merely the fanciful picture of the brain.
Of course there are always particular veins of character which
stand out more prominently than others, and which may, and
no doubt do, cling to people almost from the cradle to the
grave ; but to see a man or woman who is the same at all
times and under all circumstances is really something extraor-
dinary. Mr. Nidd probably came nearer the stereotyped indi-
vidual than any of the other members of the corps, and yet I
have seen him, too, change in many things. In Mr. Wontus,
none who know him well, since he set out on his travels, look
for much stability of temper, because it is well known that his
disposition is such that he can be easily impressed, and be very
ardent in whatever direction his mind turns. He lives in the
present, and looks only at the bright side of the future and the
past. Being of this nature, he no sooner found himself
once more in the enjoyment of his liberty than he forgot his
recent misery, and was willing to look over it, and even forget
those who had inflicted it on him. Not so with Mr. Nidd.
That gentleman insisted on having the landlady arrested and
made to pay for the trouble she had caused, and he would
probably have attended to the matter himself had it not been
that Mr. Wontus expressly forbid anything of the kind.
Once in the house, Mr. Wontus received the congratulations
of the corps. Mr. Thomson was affected to tears, while Mr.
Wilkins's countenance lit up with a conscious importance of
the prominent part he had played in the aihiir, for it should
be understood that that gentleman had come to believe that
he had been instrumental, in some way or another, in securing
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 171
the release of i\Ir. "Wontus. But Mr. Wontiis was too much
fatigued to either listen to or indulge in much conversation,
and after a complete change of attire he retired to bed, and
dreamed that the corps was a huge chain of iron, whose links
were welded together with a fire of the strongest love. Not-
withstanding the hardness of the material used in creating
this vision in his sleep, Mr. Wontus's rest was soft and peace-
ful, and the morning found him a rejuvenated man. His fii'st
business, and, in fact, only business, after breakfast was to
dispatch Thomas Thomson to the room of Mrs. Catherine
Flick, to know whether she would receive him. During
Tommy's absence, Mr. Nidd gave Mr. Wontus a full and
graphic description of his interview with the President, and
the part Mr. Lincoln had taken in his release.
" x\nd that was his hand — the President's hand — that I
grasped last night !" cried Mr. Wontus. " God bless him ! I
will go to see him, — we will all go to see him, and I will thank
him. What wouldn't I do for such a man ! (A pause.)
And that was the President, Abraham Lincoln, — Abraham the
just !" As he spoke a most happy smile played over his
face, and he went on echoing the President's name until his
soliloquy was interrupted by the entrance of Tommy, who in-
formed him that the lady was glad to hear of his safe return,
and would be pleased to see him.
A single man, with a fair amount of learning, is generally
one of two things in the presence of ladies, — either very much
of a lamb or very much of a lion. Mr. Wontus was always
the former. He felt that this was awkward and unbecoming,
and he had often endeavored to strike what is called a happy
medium, but he was never successful, and like most men
similarly situated, he thought on more than one occasion that
he did not care for ladies' society in the least. Facts spoke
differently.
He had dashed up the stairs very much as a man would
dash who had a perfect right to dash anywhere, and it was not
until he had knocked at Mrs. Flick's door that he bethought
himself of his situation. Before the other members of the
party, particularly Nidd, knew of his acquaintance with the
lady, he had felt comparatively at ease, but now he was sure
that all eyes were upon him, and he felt correspondingly un-
comfortable. It was with an effort that he succeeded in
172 WOXTUS, OB
answering to the summons to " come in," by croinjr in. Once
inside, and in the presence of the lady for whom he now had
a new and sudden and most unconquerable respect, he stam-
mered out an apology for presenting himself thus early in the
morning, but laid it to a desire to see the little one. It was a
happy idea, and he thought so, as he expressed it in language,
and at once set about an extravagant hugging and kissing of
the child. Absence of a few hours had made him almost a
stranger again. He looked as though he would like to cease
hugging the child long before he did cease, but he was at a
loss what else to do ; open the convei-sation he could not, and
he was only prevented from smothering the child entirely by
the mother expressing her sympathy fur him in his late
troubles. He was about to say in reply that he was very
happy to have undergone the trouble, when it struck him that
that would not be exactly the thing, so he said nothing. He
talked that particular language which most people have an idea
is necessary on such occasions, and which I may be excused
for calling " lingo." to the child, but as the little chemb could
make no intelligible reply to his many expressions of love,
admiration, and so forth, he soon relapsed into a silence quite
expressive.
I have never been able exactly to understand why it is
that women are braver in their conversation among men than
men are among women, but it has often occurred to me that
such was a fact. Now, whether this condition of thing-s comes
from an innate innocence, and hence confidence, on the part of
Womankind, or is due to her great reputation for conversational
powei-s, is something beyond the scope of my philosophy.
Even commonplace observers cannot fail to have noticed that
when a young woman or a middle-aged woman and a young
man or a middle-aged man are thrown together, that the young
woman generally not only leads the conversation, but does a
greater part of it. Of course there are exceptions to the rule,
but they are few. I am unable to say whether women nci-ice
this fact and indulge themselves accordingly, or whether it is
a part and parcel of their sweet natures. I am inclined to
think, however, that they do notice it. and these thoughts are
in a manner verified by the fact that Mrs. Flick, without ap-
pearing to notice Mr. Wontus's bashfulness. carried on such a
stream of conversation that the gentleman finally found courage
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 173
enough to put the child on the floor and participate in the
convcu'sation. An honorable, I may say a charitable, motive
prevented Mr. Wontus from mentioning that he knew of a
gentleman by the name of Flick, or even hinting at such a
thing. He knew that the lady was in trouble, and notwith-
standing her disloyal proclivities, the natural goodness of his
heart would not permit him to heap more trouble upon her by
the mention of anything, either in connection with his own
arrest or anything else, that would be calculated to disturb her
mind. He even took pains to direct the conversation so that
it might steer clear of the war, and in this manner succeeded
in passing a couple of hours very agreeably in the company of
the invalid.
It would be impossible to relate all that Mr. Wontus said on
this occasion, or all that was said by the other party ; yet I
am sure that nothing but pure sympathetic friendship found
a place in the conversation. Mr. Wontus was loath to leave
the invalid in her present condition in the city, more particu-
larly when he recollected the spleen of the landlady ; but how
to make her situation more comfortable, or in fact to assist
her at all, was a matter which weighed very heavily upon his
mind, but found no vent in words.
When the moment came for him to make his exit he spoke
feelingly of the fact that it would be necessary for his party
and himself to leave the city in a short time, — perhaps a day
or two. As he spoke the chubby hands of the child were ex-
tended toward him, and the beautiful eyes of the mother
looked what she would speak. It shook his determination,
and at that moment Mr. Wontus was inclined to take back all
he had said, and remain. But he had taken Nidd from his
business, and had made up his own mind to see the war, and
he held back the words. It was a very awkward thing for
Mr. Wontus to get out of the room ; but he did it, his bash-
fulness being indexed by the color of his face. Once out he
made his way down-stairs, and after a talk with Mr. Nidd in
regard to future movements, it was decided that there was no
time to lose if the corps desired to see anything of the grand
military movements so mysteriously hinted at by the news-
papers. As Mr. Wontus would not hear of returning to
Philadelphia, and Mr. Nidd had no particular fancy for or
attraction in Washington, it was soon arranged that the corps
15^
174 WOXTCS, OR
should commence a movement of some kind as early as prac-
ticable. With this view Mr. Wilkins was directed to notify
the landlady of the corps' intention to vacate the premises, and
to 'secure the necessary outfit for field service. This being
done, it now occurred that recent orders made it necessary for
civilians visiting the army to have special permission t^j do so,
duly signed, sealed, and delivered by an officer appointed for
that purpose. Wontus was in a dilemma ; he wanted to be
with the soldiers, not merely out of curiosity, for his faith in
them was still unshaken, but he believed that he could be
useful to them, if not to the cause. How to secure the per-
mission was a question the perpjlexedness of which was put to
flight by Xidd's proposing a call on the President, who he
was sure would do anything for them within the bounds of
his duty.
The morning was clear and beautiful, though warm, and as
Wontus and Xidd took their course along the very route pur-
sued by the guard who had conveyed Mr. "Wontus to prison,
that gentleman remarked the difference in his feelings, and for
the first time noticed that his foot was no longer ailing, but
had completely convalesced under the pressure of excitement
and a most rigorous diet. Mr. Nidd had very little to say ;
but as there was nothing remarkable about that, Mr. Wontus
walked by his side and endeavored to keep down the image
of the invalid, which would persist in finding a place in every-
thing he looked at or thought of He did not know that this
was wrong, but he thought perhaps it might be, for as yet he
did not know but that the Maj(jr Fiick whom he had met in
Philadelphia might be some other Flick than the husband of
Mrs. Catherine Flick, the invalid ; and yet he was inclined to
believe that the husband of Mrs. Flick and Major Flick, of
the secret sei-vice, were identical. It is pleasing to notice a
man who has great interest in his fellow-man, but who never
allows that interest to assume the shape of curiosity. That
Mr. Nidd had an abiding interest in Mr. Wontus, his actions
— and they spoke much louder and plainer than words — could
testify, and yet up to this moment he had never allowed him-
self to ask of Mr. Woutus a share in his confidence. Mr.
Wontus thought of this ; and the fact that his confidence was
unasked, together with his want of knowledge how to pro-
ceed, induced him to open his heart to his friend.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 175
"Nidd," said he, as they passed along through the crowds
of idlers in front of the post-office, " do you know Mrs. i^ lick f
" Know the major," replied Nidd, dryly.
Mr. Wontus faltered. He scarcely knew how to reach the
point.
" I mean the sick lady."
" I've seen her."
" Don't you think she is a very fine woman (
" Very tine. Devilish bitter rebel, though. Hates Lincoln
worse than poison." , .
" Brouoht up that way,— hates you and me, because we re
Yankees,'^said Mr. Wontus, laconically, casting a side glance at
Mr. Nidd. , , . -, ^^ i ^ • i
Nidd looked incredulous, shrugged his shoulders, but said
nothing.
" Fine child," remarked Mr. Wontus.
" Very "
The gentlemen were evidently fencing, and were guarded in
their movements. There was silence for a time.
" I'm very much interested in that woman, remarked Mr.
Wontus.
" So I perceive," replied Nidd. , . -,, i •
" I feel very sorry for her ; she is poor, friendless, and m a
helv)less condition." , ,
' She's a rebel ; a bitter, unrelenting rebel ; one who would
do damage if in her power "
" But it's not in her power," interrupted Mr. Wontus 1
know that she is a rebel ; but, Nidd, she's in trouble. It we
knew nothing about it it would make no difference ; but, since
we do know about it, I want to know if it isn t our duty to
assist her '
m Nidd was silent. There was evidently something more
than a mere desire to help an unfortunate woman, a though he
felt confident that Mr. Wontus did not let any other reason
find a place in his thoughts. , ,r vir x .i „
" You're narrow-minded," continued Mr. Wontus, as they
turned from F Street into the avenue. ^
" I've been thinking," said Nidd, after a time, '• that it wou.d
be more proper for a man imbued with the principles that you
are, being in favor of waging a war of comparative extermina-
tion to find widows and orphans of your own way of thinkmg,
176 WOXTCS, OR
wlio rielily deserve — as the world goes — all the charity you
have to spare."
Mr. AVoiitus halted for a momcut, and laying his hand on
his friend's shoulder, remarked :
^' Xidd, whether it is a virtue or a sin for me to be charitable
toward all in misfortune is a matter which needs no argument.
I am in favor of a war of extermination ; a war that shall for-
ever put to rest and bury in a grave so deep that the sound of
Gabriel's bugle shall never awaken it to life again, the perni-
cious, the hellish, ideas of those men who would destroy such
a government and such a country as this, that their own am-
bitious aims might be gratified, and that an aristocracy might
be reared among us whose very nature would compel it to drift
into such a condition of selfishness as would make our country
a monarchy, whose chief pillar would be the institution of
slavery. I would spare the innocent victims of these men's de-
lusive powers, Nidd, but I should never cease to teach them
that love of country which in itself would guarantee her their
support. There is where my extermination begins ; there ia
where it ends. Now for the widows and orphans of my way
of thinking. Oh, I know ; I cannot shut my eyes to the knowl-
edge that there are now, and will be in the future, countless
households rendered sad and desolate which need the sympathy
and support of the rich and happy. How many of these poor
people I have aided you are somewhat aware of; if there are
more who are suffering that you know of, why not tell me, and
I will do unto them what I have done unto others."
" I ask your pardon, AYontus !" cried Mr. Nidd, with more
feeling than was usual, " I ask your pardon !" And the two
gentlemen gra.sped each other's hands and were understood.
" Now, what I want to get at," said Mr. Wontus, blowing
his nose vigorously, " is to know how I can take care — have
some watch over this woman during our absence."
" Suppose we submit it to Mr. Lincoln ; he is not the man
to turn a deaf ear to such a case."
'• But think of her political principles !" cried Mr. Wontus,
in alarm ; " why, he would have her arrested at once."
" She'd be well taken care of then," remarked Nidd, shsrply.
Mr. "Wontus was horrified at the thought, and mentioned
her hate of the President. To this Nidd replied that Mr.
Lincoln, he guessed, was accustomed to such things, and he
THE CORPS OF OnSEIiVATlOX. 177
did not think that that would deter him from doing an act of
kindness. And by the time the o-entlemen reached the executive
mansion, it was settled that Mr. Lincoln should be made aware
of the case and his advice followed, provided that Mr. Wontus
would not be called on to countenance or do anytlung that ins
conscience or his feelings did not approve of.
It was now hi-h noon, and, as the gentlemen entered, they
were informed that the hour for visitors to see the President
had passed. Mr. Wontus's face became a blank, but iMr.
Nidd, with the air of a man who feels that his knowledge is
a little oreater than those about him, drew a card from his
pocket, on which he wrote his name, and, handing it to an
orderly, asked that it be given to the President. Ihe man
had started, but Mr. Nidd hurriedly called him back, and
takino- the card, wrote the word " Important !" across its tace.
There were other people standing about, hoping that accident
would give them the opportunity of seeing the President, and as
Mr Nidd handed the card to the orderly again he remarked,
in his decided way, " I guess that will fetch him " He was
rio-ht, for in a few moments the orderly returned, and iNidcl
ami Wontus were ushered into the little reception-room.
The President was lying on a lounge, one hand shading his
eyes and the other hanging idly by his side.
" Be seated, gentlemen, and excuse me. I have had a
very hard day of it, and begin to feel exhausted." He spoke
in a weary, but friendly way. " I had made up my mmd to
see no more people to-day, but observing that your card was
marked 'important,' I sent for you to come in. As the
President spoke Nidd cast a glance on Wontus, which was
understood to mean "I told you so," and Mr. Wontus returned
the glance with a nod of approval. ^,
" You are the gentleman for whom I could do nothing,
said Mr. Lincoln, rising to a sitting posture and smiling at
Nidd. " You've changed your mind again, eh?"
Mr. Nidd suddenly discovered a loose piece of leather on
the heel of his boot, which he found it necessary to tear off at
that particular moment ; and xMr. Wontus came to the rescue
with a multitude of thanks for his liberty, and, without a
pause to show where the connection was broken, immediately
commenced with the subject nearest his heart,— the cai^ ot
the invalid. Now Mr. Nidd had had this matter all diplo-
178 wo XT us, OR
matically arranged in liis mind, but before he had an opportu-
tunity to broach the subject Mr. Wontus had hiunched himself
into it, and, to all intents and purposes, was oblivious to every-
thing else. With Mr. Nidd the most important object of this
visit was the securing of the authority which gave the party
leave to visit the army, and out of this fact there grew a scene.
" You see, sir," said 3Ir. Wontus, in a very confidential
manner, " it will be necessary for somebody here to have an
acquaintance with us, so that everything will be properly un-
derstood."
" Certainly," cried Mr. Xidd.
*• I don't know that it would be necessary to have anything
in writing," continued Mr. Wontus.
^' It mmt be in writing, or printed," exclaimed Mr. Nidd.
Wontus cast a deprecatory glance at Mr. Nidd, and con-
tinued : " You see, Mr. Lincoln, my friend and I have dif-
ferent views on the subject, and we've agreed to leave the
matter to 3'ou."
" But. Wontus," cried Mr. Nidd, " we must have writing, —
something to show, — in case it is demanded."
" Demanded !" echoed Mr. W^ontus. " Demanded ! Why,
Mr. Nidd, you astonish me!" (Turning to the President:)
" Excuse me, Mr. President ; perhaps we are worrying you."
" Never mind me, gentlemen," said the President, opening
a packet of papers just put into his hands.
'" Well, see here," said Mr. Nidd, in a manner which looked
as though he intended to clinch the subject. " Suppose we
go from here without the papers to show that everything is
right, — what then ?"
"Why, who knows anything about it except the landlady?"
cried Mr. Wontus, who noticed Mr. Nidd's manner more than
he did his words.
"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed Nidd. "Why, my friend, you
don't understand."
"The woman did me harm," cried Wontus, " but I forgave
her, and only hope she may be as freely forgiven hereafter as I
forgive her now."
" My friends," said Mr. Lincoln, in that usual quiet, droll
way of his, " you are talking to cross purposes. Neither of
you appear to understand the other. Now let me unravel the
knot- You want authority to visit the army ?' '
THE CORPS OF ODSERVATIOX. 179
" Yes, sir," replied Mr. Nidd, who was the party addressed.
"You want the same thing?" said he, turning to Mr.
AVontus. " Stop one moment, please !" as Mr. Wontus was
about to reply. " You want something additional ; and while
you have not exactly said what that something additional was,
yet, from what I can see of it, there is at least one woman ia
it ; perhaps more."
Mr. Nidd looked incredulous. Mr. Wontus was abashed.
" Now, gentlemen," continued the President, without wait-
ing for a reply, " I suppose I ought to be very dignified ; and
so I am, I hope, sometimes. But God made man, and man
made dignity ; and fashion has made dignity to be more like
a suit of clothes, — to be put on and taken oflF at pleasure. But
no matter about that now. It crossed my mind on reading
one of these papers, and I mentioned it. Let me ask the
questions which I think you gentlemen want answered, and in
that way I think we shall make better progress. Suppose we
consider the leave to visit the army first."
The gentlemen both nodded.
" Well, I fear it can't be granted."
Wontus and Nidd exchanged glances.
" The commander of the army complains of the number of
citizens who are allowed within the lines, and, for myself, I do
not like to break in upon any rules he may establish," Mr.
Wontus's face wore a look of deep concern, and Mr. Nidd
appeared to be preparing for an argument, when the President
resumed : " The best I can do for you is to give you a note
to the general, and if he permits you there will be no complaint
from me. One moment," said he, observing that both the
gentlemen were about to speak : " this is the best I can do ;
and I assure you that I would not do that much were I not
thoroughly convinced of your loyalty and good intentions."
He turned to the desk and at once wrote a few hues, which he
inclosed and handed to Nidd.
" Now, my friend," said he, smilingly, laying his hand on
Mr. Wontus's knee, "you want something, and you don't
exactly know what."
" He," interrupted Nidd, looking up from the note just
handed him by the President, — " he would "
Mr. Wontus took hold of the extreme end of Nidd's coat-
tail and gave it two or three vigorous pulls. The pulls were
180 WOXTUS, OR
understood, and Mr. Nidd at once became as silent as an oyster,
■while our hero gave Mr. Lincoln a clear and succinct account
of his acquaintance with the invalid, beginning with his acci-
dental visit to her room at the request of the landlady. He
gave full particulars concerning her disloyalty and hatred of
himself, and brought his statement to a close by setting forth
the woman's impoverished condition in such a pathetic manner
as not only to bring tears to his own eyes, but to cause the
President to have a sudden desire to look for certain papers in
places where he least expected to find them.
"And you want me to tell you what to do?" asked Mr.
Lincoln, who had not been successful in finding the papers.
'• What do you propose to do?"
Said Mr. Wontus, " I propose to devise some means by
which this lady may be enabled to live comfortably until such
time as she is able to labor for herself, and to do this I am
willing to contribute a small sum of money ; but, as I do not
wish to wound her feelings by handing it to her, why I wish
to secure the services of somebody who will see to her without
being seen himself
" A woman of delicate sensibilities," said Mr. Nidd, in a
deprecatory manner.
*' Have you no friends here to whom you could give this
important trust ?" asked the President, with interest mani-
fested in his manner.
"What do you think of my plan?" asked Mr. Wontus,
proudly.
" Very good, very good ; but how am I to help you ? If
you only knew some trustworthy man "
" I do !" cried Mr. Wontus, risins: to his feet ; " 3Ioxley !
eh, Nidd?"
" Don't know him," said Mr. Xidd. " Heard of him ;
that's all."
" This is a gentleman who is an employee in one of the
departments here," said Mr. Wontus, turning to the President.
'• I knew him in New York before the war. A very good
man, I'm sure."
'• You do not know which one of the departments he is in?"
asked the President, tapping a bell.
" No."
A man entered the room, to whom Mr. Lincoln gave some
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 181
directions concerning the finding of Mr. Moxley ; and turning
to Mr. Wontus, he informed him that he would send him to his
lodgings the moment he could be found, and that it was settled
that, if Mr. Wontus was satisfied with the arrangements, the
President would do all in his power to forward them ; and
soon after the gentlemen prepared to take their departure.
CHAPTER XV,
IN WHICH THE CORPS GETS READY FOR FIELD SERVICE,
AND BIDS ADIEU TO WASHINGTON — MR. THOMSON MEETS
SOME OLD FRIENDS, AND NIDD IS MADE HAPPY.
The world has probably never produced a man with more
gentleness of nature, goodness of heart, and lack of egotism,
than Abraham Lincoln. Without those assumed, and hence
false, — for no man is born with them, — imperial mannerisms
which fasten themselves to some men the moment they don
the robes of authority or assume a more elevated position in
the scale of wealth, there was nothing about him calculated
to repel the poorest and most humble of his race. On the
other hand, perfectly natural, unostentatious in his manners,
there was a degree of that peculiar magnetism about him at
all times which, while it attracted and charmed those who
came in contact with him, never gave, even to the unlettered,
that license for assurance which men who lack understanding
so frequently indulge in when treated as equals. Nor did he
ever set himself up as the judge of his fellow-men's sociid
status. He believed with Chalmers that " true greatness lies
wholly in force of soul," and he exemplified his belief by his
conduct. To the high and low, rich and poor, he was alike
the kind and courteous gentleman, and the veriest aristocrat
of foreign or native manufacture found him the same as the
simple-minded and unsophisticated plebeian. Ever ready to
assist the troubled and unfortunate, with a mind that had
" charity for all and malice toward none," he was approached
by men of all conditions and complexions, and more than one
heart that was clouded and sad had a bright and pleasant sun-
16
182 WOXTUS, OR
beam thrown upon it by the kind words and s}TnpathetIc acts
of Abraham Lincoln.
As the gentlemen moved across the room toward the door,
the President arose, and walking by the side of Mr. Wontus,
slipped a bank-bill into his hand, and in a whisper sjiid, " I
belit've in you, sir ; I am glad I have had the pleasure of see-
iirj; and knowing you ; put this to whatever good use you see
proper." And as he spoke he pressed Mr. Wontuss hand,
and before that gentleman had time to reply the President
had turned to Mr. Nidd, and was directing him where and
how to proceed in securing the permit. For a moment Mr.
Wontus was in doubt what course to pursue. '• I am richer,
— have more money than he has, and not one-tenth of the
expenses; I will give it back." But Mr. Wontus did not
have the opportunity to carry out h\* resolve, for the President
managed to keep aloof from him and to effectually prevent the
conversation turning in that direction.
" Good-by, gentlemen," Siiid the President, cheerfully, as he
extended his hand ; " I hope you may not only have a pleas-
ant journey and a safe return, but that you may succeed in
doing something to alleviate the sufferings of those poor fel-
lows who are giving up their lives that their country may
live." His face assumed its wonted gTave and serious look as
he spoke, and the visitors departed deeply impressed.
" A great and good man," said 3Ir. Wontus.
Mr. Nidd hungj his head as though in deep thought, but
said nothing, and the gentlemen passed on to their lodgings,
to prepare for their departure.
The outfit of a soldier on a peace footing differs very mate-
rially from the outfit of the same sort of an individual on a
war footing. As Mr. Wilkins has given ample, I may say
profuse, oral evidence of his vast army experience, it is fair
to presume that some part of his time — in all the years that
he served — must have been whiled away during a time of
peace, or at least there must have been a brief cessation of
hostilities sometime, somewhere, somehow ; and during those
moments., I repeat that it is fair to presume that a man of his
intelligence ought to be able to note the difference between an
outfit for the field and one for garrison duty. I do not desire
to impeach Mr. Wilkins, or doubt his word in the slightest
particular ; but I do wish to say that when he executed Mr.
WONT! s j)i;ri,i.\-i:s to bk pit i\ thk <;rARi)-HursK,
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 183
Wontiis's order to procure a proper outfit for the party, that
I think that it is at least probable that he exceeded Mr. Won-
tus's wishes, if nothing more. True, he had no special orders
to procure any special articles. Mr. Wontus considered that
special directions to a " man of the world," and a tried and
experienced soldier, like Mr. Wilkins, would be simply super-
fluous, and further, would show a lack of confidence, which he
certainly did not feel. The order, therefore, was carte blanche,
and Mr. Wilkins proceeded to fill it as he thought proper.
On such an important occasion as the filling of this order,
]Mr. Wilkins found it utterly impossible to be alone, and con-
sequently the aid of a congenial companion was enlisted. To
undertake to describe the mystery and importance which Mr.
Wilkins threw around and attached to the duty during his
conversations at the hotels and elsewhere, would be a task far
beyond the scope of a pen not gifted with almost supernatural
powers, and I forbear, with the simple statement that it was
immense. W^hen he walked into a shop, it was done with the
air of a man who intended purchasing the whole establishment
at the owner's first price, and without question. His manner
was slow and stately, and his voice, as he rejected article after
article, assumed a sepulchral tone. When he referred anything
to his companion for /as judgment, it was done in such a man-
ner as to be very impressive ; not that the gentleman's opinion
amounted to anything with Mr. Wilkins, for his purchases were
generally directly opposite to the advice of the aforesaid ; but
still he asked his opinion, and that was doing a gTeat deal for
so humble a follower, and Mr. Wilkins felt it.
If time was made for slaves, then it is safe to say that Mr.
Wilkins was no slave, for it was not until the slant rays of the
sun fell on both sides of the slant streets of the capital, that
he completed his purchases. He had made it a rule early in
the day that the purchase of an article entitled him to a treat at
the expense of the seller, hence it was dark when he presented
himself and the following schedule of articles purchased for the
corps. It was written on a sheet of foolscap, and was headed :
CAMP AND GARRISON EQUIPAGE OF THE W^ONTUS
CORPS OF OBSERVATION— INVENTORY.
Two double bedsteads (cottage style).
Blankets and bedding for do.
184 W ox TVS, OR
One wash-stand, with service complete (cottage style).
Three tents (two hirge and one small).
One roll of oil-cloth.
Two door-mats.
One warming-pan.
One mess-chest.
One set china (ornamented).
Two baskets (market).
Four large bowie-knives,
do do horse-pistols.
Pans, pots, kettles.
Demijohns, decanters.
Etcetera.
The lights were burning when Mr. Wilkins presented him-
self and the schedule to the party at their quarters. The spirits
he had partaken of had lent wings to his usually fruitful im-
agination, and he set forth the virtues of his different purchases,
made with an eye single to comfort and convenience, so tempt-
ingly, that Thomas Thomson was in ecstacies ; Mr. Wontus
signified his willingness to pay the bill, and Mr. Nidd gave a
silent acquiescence to the whole arrangement.
Mr. Wontus did not pay much attention to the reading of
the schedule, because, first, he believed that just such things
would be necessary, and second, because his mind was more con-
centrated on another subject. With Mr. Thomson, however,
there was a degTee of inquisitiveness manifested which Wilkins
found necessary to set at rest before dismissing the subject, and
he proceeded to do it in this wise :
" Them bedsteads," said he, with his finger on the paper,
" are for the comfort of the members of the corps after a march.
The blankets ditto, ditto, which means the same. The wash-
stand must be for the colonel and Niddy's tent, — give 'em
character and standin'. The two big tents are for the corps;
the little tent is for the cook, for it would be degradin' for the
members of the corps to do their own cookin'. The oil-cloth is
an indispensable article of furniture, and goes in the colonel's
tent. The door-mat is to notify visitors that the party is
clean in their habits, and others is expected for to be the same.
The warm'n-pan is partic'lary necessary, as it gives style to the
looks of things, and to warm the beds and dry 'em after a
shower, which, as soldiers, we must be expectin' as we go along.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 185
The mess-chest is a soldier's eontrr.ption, and couldn't be done
without, nohow. China is useful, and looks well. You know
what baskets are for. The knives and pistols are for the safety
and protection of the cor]\s in the hour of danger, which must
be encountered in the reg'lar course of events which transpire
in the field of gory blood (Mr. Wilkins waved his hand trag-
ically). The pans, pots, and demijohns — well, you know what
they're for."
He ceased speaking, and would have turned away, but
Thomas Thomson had noticed that there was still an article on
the list which Wilkins had not noticed, so he called his attention
to the fiict, and insisted on being enlightened. Mr. Wilkins
cast his eye toward Wontus and Nidcl, and seeing that they
were engaged in some matter of their own, he assumed a serious
manner, and, placing his finger on the word etcetera^ said :
" Mr. Thomson, it appears to me that you ain't very well
learned in your general education. The word which you see
there comes most frequent in conversation when men have a
great deal to say and don't know how to say it. It's a
foreigner which has been naturalized into our language, and
comes mostly from its root, as I have been informed, which
means many things not hereinbefore mentioned, as it was ;
therefore, you see, it means here as if it was not here at all,
but as if somethin' else took its place ; and, consequently, it
is generally put at the conclusion of a number of things not
mentioned, as in the case now before us." As Mr. Wilkins
concluded, he drew a long breath to fill the vacuum caused by
expressing the rather lengthy sentence, and then turned to
Tommy and remarked, " Don't you see ?"'
Tommy scrutinized the word as it was written on the paper
before him as though he expected the word itself to throw
some light on the subject, scratched his head, and then re-
marked that he did see. This being the desired result, the
conversation turned upon other subjects, and soon after the
gentlemen retired.
The next day Mr. Nidd proceeded to secure the necessary
papers to enable the corps to visit the army, and Mr. Moxley
waited on Wontus, and was introduced to the invalid. In
brief, the arrangements were all satisfactorily made, and the
party was ready for the forward movement.
A great part of the army had departed for Fortress Moa-
16*
186 WONTUS, OR
roe. General McClellan would leave for the scene of opera-
tions on the morrow, and with all the necessary details at^
tended to, including the " camp and pirrison equipage," the
corps was ready to follow the little hero the next day. It
was found impossible to secure transportation from AVashing-
ton, and it therefore became necessiir}" for the gentlemen to
proceed to Baltimore, and reach the scene of operations by
way of the bay steamers ; at least, this was the programme
laid out by Mr. Xidd after his return from the War Depart>
ment. The party would leave the next morning early, and,
without a word to anj^body, Mr. Wontus sent for the landlady's
bill and paid it. He harbored no enmity, and would leave in
peace. But there was one duty yet to be attended to.
We are entirely conversant with the fact that Mr. Wontus
found it a rather difficult and embarrassing task to present
himself to the invalid at any time ; but now that he was going
away, and perhaps forever, his frame of mind was rather
more distressing than otherwise. Up to this time the invalid
had never expressed a word indicative of more than a high
regard and deep appreciation of the gentleman, and Mr. Won-
tus had forced himself to think — well, no, not exactly think,
either, but, more properly, to believe — that his regard for the
lady, notwithstanding her disloyal proclivities and condemna-
tion of those he loved, was simply such a feeling as any other
woman might stir up in his bosom under similar circumstan-
ces. I say he had forced himself to believe this, and the rea-
son why I say it is because his actions resembled so strongly
those of a man who is deeply, darkly, and strangely in love.
He wished to see her, and yet he feared the interview ; and in
this condition he did many strange things, which excited the
curiosity of Mr. Nidd, and caused that gentleman to tell Mr.
Wontus that he resembled a boy who was experiencing his
first love. But a word was needed, and with the quickness
that a shot will roll oflP a shovel, the senior member proceeded
up-stairs. He had been expected ; and. although Mrs. Batta-
dore had done just as little as was possible, yet the apartment
and its occupants presented rather a better appearance than
was usual.
During the interview, which was rather protracted, Mr.
Wontus was about as ignorant of the past, present, and the
future as any man well could be, and his modesty would not
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 187
nllow him to do more than to liint, in a very ol).sciirc way,
that tlic invalid should not trouble herself, but should take
courage, and do her best to convalesce speedily ; also, that
IMr. Moxley lived in the immediate neighborhood, and Avould
be pleased to render her assistance at any moment if she
would call on him ; a.t the same time he hinted that her
iiiends had been communicated with in some mysterious man-
ner, and that her wants would be attended to. The return
for all this kindness of Mr. Wontus was most profuse thanks
on the part of the invalid. The gentleman could stand almost
anything better than thanks, and, as he rose to depart, his old
agitation returned, and, fearing that he was about to make a
scene, he bade a hasty adieu, and dashed out of the room.
The others had retired when Mr. Wontus readied his room,
and noiselessly he mixed himself a decoction of brandy, water,
and sugar, and sat down to reflect. His reflections were nu-
merous and strangely mixed, and it was only after he had in-
dulged in more brandy, water, and sugar that " nature's sweet
restorer, balmy sleep," came to relieve his troubled mind of the
pressure.
It was very near the last day of April or the first day of
May, but exactly which I am unable to say just now, for each
day of the week and of the month so closely resembled the
other in scenes and events that there was nothing by which to
mark the march of time, that ThomiLS Thomson rose with the
sun, and soon after called up the other members. Everything
had been attended to, and the moment that breakfast was fin-
ished the party proceeded to the depot, and took their last
survey of the Capitol. With Wilkins and Thomson the idea
of a change was refreshing, and these two gentlemen were in
high good humor, and, to their credit be it said, were also
sober. AVith Nidd there was nothing particularly noticeable.
His face bore the same imperturable, grave a])pearance, and he
moved about with the same firm stride and elevated head.
Wontus's face wore a mingled look of sorrow and pleasure :
a soft smile played about his mouth, but sorrow looked forth
from his eyes. He moved about in a mechanical way, and it was
not until he took his seat in the car^s that he ventured a remark.
'' Is everything all right?" he asked of Mr. Nidd.
"To the best of my knowledge and belief, it is," said Mr.
Nidd, dryly.
188 WOXTUS, OR
It is reasonable to suppose that more would have been said,
but two things occurred Avhich prevent-jd : one was the start-
ing; of ilie train, and the other was the presence of Mr. AVil-
kins. This gentleman had taken char2'e of the hand baggage
of the corps, and ensconced himself in the centre of the car,
and at the moment he presented himself to Mr, Wontus, re-
sembled a man who had traveled all his life, and knew just
exactly how it should be done. His hat was pulled firmly
down over his head, almost to his ears, and a handkerchief,
which had one day been white, was folded carefully about his
neck.
" Mr. Wontus !"' he cried, as he leaned over that gentleman's
seat, and supported himself by its back. Mr. Wontus looked
'• I ve . ' Further remarks were lost in the clatter of the
wheels and the sudden backing of the speaker, caused by the
train moving around a curve.
"What did you say?' yelled Mr. Wontus, with his hand
at his ear to catch the reply.
Clatter, clatter, clatter ! went the wheels. Skruge, bang !
went the couplings. Whew, whew, whew ! screamed the
whistle, and the cars rocked and swayed as only cars can rock
and sway.
Mr. Wilkins held firmly to the seat, and Mr. Wontus looked
into his face in expectation of what was to come.
A conversation held in the cars is never a very agreeable
one, but it is particularly ti-^ing and vexatious when the car is
an old one, the track a rough one, and the train bounding
along at what is very properly called break-neck speed. This w:is
exactly the sort of a train that the party had taken passage on,
and when Mr. Wilkins succeeded in assuming an upright
position, and a moment afterward was cast headlong across
Mr. Xidd's legs, nobody was particularly astonished, except
the two gentlemen most concerned. Whether Mr. Nidd con-
sidered the unceremonious conduct of Mr. Wilkins intentional
or not I cannot say, but I am enabled to relate that which
immediately followed, to wit : After the first shock Mr. Nidd's
face wore a really savage expression, and as the prostrate form
of Wilkins lay across his knees, his mind may have wandered
back to the moment wherein the man who was now so com-
pletely in his power had used his name in a rather unwarrant-
THE CORPS OF OBSEBVATION. 189
able way ; at any rate, he no sooner noticed who the party
was. than he seized him by the neck, and before Mr. Wontus
could interfere, commenced exercising his fist on the party's
head, neck, and back, very much after the same fashion that
he would have exercised it on the drum in an accompaniment
to a wonderfully quick march. Mr. Wilkins was no passive
party to all this, but displayed his interest in the affair by
shouting and kicking to an extent truly wonderful. The more
he kicked the more Mr. Nidd thumped, until at length the
friendly arms of Mr. Wontus interfered, and Mr. Wilkins was
allowed to gather himself up from the floor, where he had cast
himself the moment Mr. Nidd relaxed his muscular exercise.
It was a relief to everybody to get out of the car at Balti-
more ; and, leaving Mr. Wilkins to attend to the transportation
of the baggage, the other gentlemen proceeded at once to the
steamboat, which left for Fortress Monroe in the evening.
There was plenty of time ; and aft«r the tickets and the
necessary military passes had been secured, and the luggage
stacked away, Mr. Wontus gave notice that each and every
member of the corps was at liberty to do as he pleased until
five o'clock, at which hour the boat would leave her moorings.
Wontus and Nidd declared their intention to remain on the
boat, but Wilkins and Thomson concluded to do otherwise,
and accordingly made their way toward the Canton-street
railroad depot. Mr. Thomson's conduct while in Washington
had been of such an exemplary character that he had not only
husbanded his own resources, but had also won numerous
small rewards from his employer, and hence to-day, in the
parlance of the times, he was pretty well " fixed," which,
when explained, means that he had a fair amount of money.
Pecuniarily, Mr. AVilkins was not " fixed" at all, but as that
was a matter which seldom disturbed him so long as his com-
panions were, Mr. Wilkins went along quite gleefully, first
borrowing and treating, and then changing the condition of
things a little by treating and borrowing afterward. That this
suited both gentlemen there can be no question. Mr. Thom-
son had confidence in human nature, and believed that the
liberal loans he was making to his friend would be returned,
and, per consequence, his pleasure was actually costing him
nothing. Mr. Wilkins's intentions were of the very highest
order, but his almost constant mingling of pleasure with duty
190 WOXTUS, OR
invariably rendered his most excellent intentions null and
void ; he therefore borrowed with impunity.
I do not know that there is any particular fascination about
a railroad depot ; in fact, I am sure there is not, except that
it affords one a fine opportunity to have a hasty glance at
hasty people ; and yet what stranger who had time hanging
heavily on his hands ever passed a railroad depot without
going in and tiiking a look around ? If there are any such,
Messrs. Thomson and Wilkins were exceptions. The Canton-
street depot fell in their way, and they walked in. A train of
cars had just come in, and was freighted, as was usual, with a
goodly number of soldiei-s. It was rather a novel sight for
Mr. Thomson, and, steadying himself by the doorway, he
gazed vacantly into the faces as they passed. I am thoroughly
convinced in my own mind, and the circumstance which I am
about to relate proves the correctness of my belief, that Mr.
Thomson did not see arfV single individual who passed him.
The fiice of a man partially drunk would certainly never be
chosen by an artist for the study of intelligence, and I am
brought to this conclusion by the fact that while Mr. Thomson
stood leanins; against the doorwav. a number of men came alons:
CD ~ 1/ - O
whose faces, I am sure. Mr. Thomson would have recollected,
had he been in his sober senses. There were Birkill, 3Iagdus,
Captain Haskius, Smith, McMinigan, and, if I mistake not, all
the other heroes of Mr. Thomson's first eifort at being a gen-
tleman. The party were dressed in the livery of that ubiqui-
tous old gentleman, Uncle Sam, and appeared to be in the
same flow of good spirits which characterized them on Mr.
Thomson's first acquaintance, at the oyster wharves elsewhere.
It was no unusual thing, in these early days of the war, for
parties who had been boys and men together for years to enlist
in a body, and it so occurred that the gentlemen above referred
to had been attacked by the war fever, and were now eu route
to join their regiment.
" I tell you it's him," cried Birkill. as he called the attention
of the party to the form of Thomas Thomson.
'' B'lieve my soul it is," replied Captain Magdus.
" And he don't see us," said Birkill, hairing the party, and
a merry twinkle coming into his eyes. " Here's some fun !"
he continued, after a moment's pause. " Follow me !" and
then, to the inspiring vocal strains of " The Girl I left Behind
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION: 191
Mc," with the imitation drum accompaniment, the party moved
aloni?, and by the nn^rest accident in the world, tirst hustled
Mr. Thomson from his support, and then allowed him to t'.U
to the ground. There was considerable surprise and no littb
solicitude manifested by the party when it was discovered that
a gentleman had been accidental/ >/ knocked down, but when the
gentleman was picked up, and was discovered to be '• our old
friend, Mr. Thomson without the ' p,' "the surprise was doubled,
and the most friendly congratulations and inquiries followed.
After Mr. Wilkins had been introduced, the entire party
proceeded to the boat. It wanted but a few moments of the
hour for the vessel to start, and as Thomas Thomson expressed
a desire to remain out of the sight of Mr. Wontus, he was
carefully deposited on a pile of quartermaster's stores, in the
gangway, while Mr. Wilkins and the others fell to enjoying
themselves as best suited their fancy.
Mr. Wontus was quietly enjoying what is expressively
called a " snooze," and Mr. Nidd was taking a view of Fort
McHenry, and wondering that the sentinels who paced the
wall by the edge of the water did not first fall asleep and then
fall into the water, when the bell tapped, and the hurry and
bustle of easting ofi" the fastenings commenced. This roused
Mr. Nidd from his reverie, and he took his stand on the
promenade deck at the rear of the boat.
'' Cast off that stern hawser !" cried the captain, and the
wheels commenced to revolve. " Cast loose, for'ard, there !"
This was all Mr. Nidd heard, for an object in the shape of
a man, with a large traveling-bag in his hand, came moving
down the street at a rapid rate of speed, sawing the air with
his disengaged hand, and yelling at the top of his voice for
the boat to wait for him. For a moment Mr. Nidd stood as
though riveted to the spot. His hands nervously clutched
the taffrail, and he bent forward to be better able to see the
face of the new-comer. The man came nearer, and a moment
more would see him upon the boat. The tide was running
out swiftly, and the motion of the wheels was fast moving the
craft out into the stream. If they were stopped there was a
fair chance that the party would get aboard. But they were
not, and all because Mr. Nidd suddenly cried out "Scribendi!"
and (piickly followed that exclamation Avith " Let her go ! Cast
off them ropes! Be lively ! be quick — botheration! be quick!"
192 WOXTUS, OR
These expressions. startHnfr in themselves, were accompanied
by a series of frantic gesticulations, which drew the attention
not only of the officers of the boat, but everybody else, to the
speaker, and induced the pilot to believe that something ter-
rible had happened or was about to happen, and to ring on
more steam; the ultimate result of which was that the boat
shot rapidly forward, and left the wharf just far enough be-
hind to prevent the gentleman on shore from undertaking to
leap on board. The whole affair occurred under the imme-
diate and intensely interested supervision of Mr. Nidd ; and
no sooner did he observe the result, and the disappointed
look which the face of the man on the slip wore, than he
threw his head back, placed his thumbs in the arm-holes of
his waistcoat, and then and there actually danced what he in-
tended for a most triumphant jig.
The conduct of 3Ir. Nidd on this occasion was without
question malevolent ; for, as he stood on the deck, his eyes
fixed on the receding form of his rival, a shade of pleasurable
emotion appeared to glide over his countenance, and, without
deig-ning to give any one a reason for his singular behavior,
he walked to his state-room, muttering the word, " Beautiful !"
CHAPTER XYL
DOWN THE CHESAPEAKE — THE PIRATES, AND THE HERO-
ISM OF BENJAMIN WILKINS.
The coolness of the sea air. together with the monotonous
motion of the boat, soon lulled the passengers into silence, and
afterwards to sleep, and the next morning dawned very much
the same as it dawns on all other mornings when the weather
is clear. When it became light enough to distinguish objects
at a distance, the form of Thomas Thomson was seen standing
on the forward deck, his hands resting on the rail, and his
eyes fixed upon the foaming water beneath him. As he stood
there his face wore an expression of deep distress, if not despair,
and he mentally vowed, as he had done before, that he would
never get drunk any more.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 193
The sun was just showing his face over the tops of the pine
trees which fringed the eastern shore of the bay when lAIr. ^
Wontus stepped out from his state-room, accompanied by Mr.
Nidd. The two made their way to the promenade deck, where
they were shortly joined by Mr. Wilkins.
"A grand and imposing morning," said Mr. Wontus,
stretching his arms and beating his breast with his hands.
'' And lies left behind," said Mr. Nidd, rubbing his hands.
" Left behind !" cried Mr. Wontus, wonderingly. " Who
is left behind ?"
Mr. Nidd made no reply ; his mind appeared to be wander-
ing back to the evening before, when he had been so instru-
mental in clearing the boat from her fastenings, and thereby
leaving an anxious gentleman on shore.
Mr. Wontus found it necessary to repeat his question.
" Scribendi !— Edward Pason Montcalm Higginson." As
Mr. Nidd spoke he laughed most immoderately, and as such
conduct on his part was extraordinary, Mr. Wontus looked
more astonished than ever, and asked Mr. Nidd if he had slept
well, and if he felt well now.
" I am almost sorry," said Mr. Nidd, after a pause, and
without heeding his friend's query concerning his health,
" that I didn't let him get aboard. (A pause, during which
Mr. Nidd looked down into the water.) I'd have drowned
him." he continued, his face assuming an almost savage ex-
pression. " Would I forgive him ? I'll see ; yes, I'll see.
This was said as though he was speaking to himself; and more
of the same style might have followed had it not been that
Mr. Wontus interrupted by demanding an explanation. The
whole affair was a mystery to him, and he feared that Nidd
might be afflicted with the primary symptoms of lunacy. Mr.
Nidd therefore explained, and the party soon after retired to
breakfast. n t x a
It was after breakfast, for the boat was unusually late, and
Mr. Wontus and Nidd were sitting on the after-deck, smoking
their cio-ars and listening to the conversation of the passengers
concernmg the conduct of the war (a veiy popular subject at
this time), when Mr. Wilkins approached and asked Mr.
Wontus for the loan of his cigar until he lit his. ^^
" This is a perfect inland sea,— a beautiful sheet of water,
said Mr. Wontus, without addressing anybody in particular.
I 17
194 WO X TVS, OR
" Very fine," said Mr. Nidrl. puffinir his cigar.
" It 'minds me," said Mr. Wilkins, sitting down and placing
his feet on the chair in front of him, and holding his cigar
between his fingers, '' of a voyage I once made in tlie Caribbean
Sea. The pirates were very troublesome at that time."
" Pirates !" interrupted Mr. Wontus, turning to Mr. AVilkins,
and speaking in accents of interest; " I've often read of them,
but it has never been my good fortune to meet with a man who
has come in contiict with them."
'•Didn't?" asked Mr. Wilkins, nonchalantly.
'• Never !" said Mr. Wontus.
" Oh, I've met 'em, often, in different ways and latitudes,"
replied AVilkius. pufl&ng his cigar again.
'' Indeed !" cried Mr. Wontus. '• Why, I thought they
were such blood-thirsty people that no man was ever left to tell
the tale."
" Nor they ain't, as a general thing," said Mr. Wilkins.
" And you met them ? — the pirates themselves?"
" Yes."
"And escaped ?"
"Yes."
" Didn't lose your life?"
It was a rather singular question under the circumstances.
" No, but I had considerable trouble to save it, although I
didn't think much of it then." This was said by Mr. Wilkins
in such a manner as to convey the idea that he considered it
but an every-day affiiir, and would like to drop the subject.
But Mr. Wontus was interested, and insisted on hearing the
story. '' We have plenty of time yet," said he. " The captain
says that we will not be in for an hour or two, and I should
like to hear you tell it. Wouldn't we. Nidd ?" Mr. Nidd,
thus appealed to, thought he would oblige 3Ir. Wontus, and
accordingly said " We would. '
" It was just such a place as this here, but a little off shore,"
said Mr. Wilkins. clearing his throat and moving his hand
toward the land. '' We had touched at Barbadoes the day be-
fore to take on the captain's niece, one of the most beautiful
and interestin' young ladies I ever saw ; and was all a lookin'
to a quick and safe pa.ssage home, and in a pretty general high
good humor. We were standin' a little to the no'th of east,
under a stiff breeze, with the mizzeu, spanker, fo'-top gallants,
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 195
all the jibs, mains'l, and maintop studdin' sails all set and trim ;
and the skys'l in the wind. (A pause.) But>— indeed, gen-
tlemen, I don't want to be horrofierin' you with scenes like
this one was." And Mr. Wilkins again smoked his cigar.
" Go on, Mr. Wilkins, go on !" cried Mr. Wontus, turning
round in his chair and looking at Wilkins. " Go on, sir ;
I demand— we demand it. Don't we, Nidd ?" Mr. Nidd said
" We do," and the story proceeded.
" Well," continued the story-teller, " I was, at this time, the
first mate of the brig Galatsea, as trim and snug a craft as ever
carved the water of the ocean, and almost as swift as the Flyin'
Dutchman. Captain Jacobs, of the State of Maine, was her
commander, and I was the first officer. We were sailin' along
on the outside of the islands, and were just a little off" Martin-
ique, when a lively-lookin' ketch shot out from under the land
up toward Dominica, — I'm partic'lar about the places, because
I want to come right down to the facts,— and made right for
us, with all her canvas pullin' like a harpooned whale. There
wasn't nothin' singular about the boat, and I've seen hundreds
of 'em pass the ship without givin' 'em the slightest particle
of notice, but this here feller kind of somehow or another ex-
cited my attention, and says I to myself, says I, ' Ben, better
keep your weather eye open, old boy ;' and, by gracious ! I did,
old man. Bonaparte can say what he pleases, gentlemen, about
Providence bein' on the side of the heaviest artillery,^ but my
experience is that Provey's somewhere else too, sometimes."
" Quite right,'- remarked Mr. Wontus, in an attitude of deep
attention. " Quite right."
" You see, our ship bein' a merchantman, didn't have more
than enough men to work her, and very few arms ; so without
lettin' on, says I to old Joe Bunker, one of the fo'-top men,
' Joe, you go down in the hold and get out that chist of cut-
lasses, and send 'em up along with all the muskets you can
find. I want,' says I, ' to see just what there is on this here
ship, and clean things up, so that when we get into port we
can invite folks on board and make somethin' like a show.'
The old man didn't say nothin', nor did I, for I didn't want
to raise no fuss or alarm, but I thought I'd just have things
ready, and if there wasn't any occasion to use 'em, why, it
wasn't any trouble to put 'em away again ; all the time, though,
I kind of thought that we'd want 'em, and kept my eye on
196 WOXTUS, OR
the ketch." (The speaker ceased, and commenced vigorously
puffing his cigar.) ''She looked innocent enough, was as light
as a duck, and was now just abreast of the waist of the ship,
and seemed to be gettin' in on the same tack as ourselves,
without comin' closer ; but still I watched her, and it was a
pretty good thing I did, for it gave us a show which we
wouldn't a' had if I hadn't. It wasn't long before Joe sent
the chist and the muskets up, and I was look in' at 'em ; thinks
I, them's pretty heavy war material, but I didn't say nothin',
only call a couple of men and start 'em to gettin' out the am-
munition and cleanin' the muskets up. The chist I undertook
to open myself, but, be thunder ! it was rusted clean shut and
the hinges wouldn't move, so I sent for a screw-driver and
took the hinges off. (Smoke.) Now, gentlemen, a screw-
driver ain't much of an instrument for fightin' with, is it?"
Mr. Wontus said it was not, and the bystanders agreed with
him,
" Well, while I was gettin' out the cutlasses, the young lady
come along, looking so sweet and nice, that I almost trembled
when I looked at her.
" ' What are you doin', Mr. Wilkins?' says she, kickin' the
butt of a musket with her pretty little foot.
" ' Oh, just brightneu' up things,' says I ; ' when we've got
handsome young ladies aboard we've got to have things lookin'
ship-shape.'
" ' Why,' says she, a-smilin' in a way that most made my
heart sick, ' you look as if you were cxpectin' a corsair to
attack us, and you were makin' preparations to defend us.'
" ' Oh, I guess not,' says I. And I took a sly squint at
my ketch over the taffrail.
" ' Oh, I hope one will come ! I would so love to see a
real live corsair, such as I have read about.' And the young
lady went on a-clappin' her hands in high delight. Directly
says she, a-soberin' down and lookin' regretful like, ' I don't
believe any will come ; but I wish they would ; I do so.' And
sayin' this, she flung herself around and passed aft."
" Brave girl ! very brave girl !" said some of the passengers,
who had become interested listeners.
" Fool ! " said Mr. Xidd, without raising his head or show-
ing the slightest emotion.
Mr. Wontus cast a glance at his friend, and would probably
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 197
have made some rem:irk had it not been for Mr. Wilkins, who
secured a new light tor his cigar, and continued :
'' It was about four bells, I guess, when I first spied my
gentleman, and it was now nearly noon, and yet the feller had
been about the same distance off for the last hour. Every-
thing was now in as good order as it could be put in, and the
guns was all loaded, and I kept 'em on deck without creatin'
any talk by sayin' we'd have a salute at sundown in honor of
the young lady. (Smoke.) ' Now, Benjamin,' says I, ' you've
done about what's right, you'd better go aloft and see what
you can see.' Up I goes, and I had hardly got into the top
when the ketch laid her helm hard aport, and was makin' right
for us. (Smoke.) From where I was I could see her deck
through the glass ; but there was nothin' there but the cove
at the" helm and two or three fellers tendin' sail. I commenced
to think that I'd been mistaken after all, and that the feller
was nothin' more'n a market craft, when I spied some move-
ments about the aft hatch, and two or three heads stick out and
then dart back again. This was pretty convincin' evidence
that the feller wasn't exactly snug and right, so I goes down
on deck and tell the captain the whole affair.
" ' Mr. Wilkins,' says he, in a partic'lar laughin' way he had
when he didn't exactly take things in, ' I guess there ain't
nothin' the matter with the feller ; there ain't none of them
kind of people in these waters about now, I'm of the opinion ;
but it won't hurt nothin' to put on a little more sail, and we'll
leave him astern just for fun.'
" ' Ay, ay, cap,' says I ; but I meant to keep a bright
eye in my head, and I went on deck and had the ship dressed
in all the canvas she owned. My eyes ! she nearly jumped
out of the water, and I commenced to think that the thing
was about over, when old Joe Bunker comes up, and, says he,
' xMr. Wilkins, them fellers is a-catchin' up on to us.' I
looked over the rail, and, by gracious ! there the ketch come
sure enough, a-jumpin' through the water like mad, and with
my naked eye I could see her deck a-swarmin' with as dirty
a lookin' set of thieves as ever st<)od up under canvas.
" ' Beat to quarters !' I yelled, thinkin' I was on board a
man-o'-war. But it didn't make any difference, for it seemed
as if everybody understood the thing at once ; and, nearly as
17*
198 woxTUS, on
quick as it takes me to tell it, every man had his musket and
sabre : some of 'em had two sabres.
'' ' What in the devil's up ?' cried Captain Jacobs, comin'
out of the cabin, with the young lady close behind him.
" ' Up?' says I. ' The devils up !' And I pointed to the
ketch, which was glidin' over the water like a gull, and comin'
close and closer every minute.
" ' Put on more sail !' cried the captain.
" ' Can't do it, sir,' says I. ' She's got all she'll hold now.'
The captain thro wed his eyes aloft, and seen the truth of my
■words.
" ' The Galatea never was beat a-sailin', cried the captain,
'and she sha'n't be beat now.' "
A murmur ran through the crowd of listeners, and Mr.
Wilkins smoked more vigorously than ever.
" I cast my eye at the ketch, which was now jumpin' along
like a race-horse, and beside which the Galataea seemed to be
a snail, and then I looked at the lovely girl. There she stood,
her silky tresses wavin' in the breeze, and her blue eyes
flashin' like lanterns on a dark night. Her brow was clouded, ^
and her ruby lips was frozed together like chunks of coral.
(Smoke.) I can't say exactly that I know what love is, gen-
tlemen, but at that moment I rather think that I loved that
girl, for I made up my mind that, live or die, sink or swim,
bust up or go down, I'd stand by her. ' Ben Wilkins,' says
I, 'you shall do it !' and shiver my tarry top-lights if I didn't.
But there wasn't much time to think of anything, so I
glanced around at the men ; but. from the looks of things, I
felt that there wasn't much to be looked for from them, and
the captain had gone below for his pistols.
" ' Miss,' says I, stcppin' up to the young woman. ' can you
fight?'
" ' Fight ?' says she, her lips curlin' and her beautiful eyes
snappin'. 'Fight? Indeed, I can! But I haven't got no
arms.'
" '• There's a pistol,' says I, handin' one of my weapons to
her. I turned my attention to other things."
" Astonishing !" interrupted Mr. Wontus.
" Astonishin' ? Well, I should think it was. But just
hold on a minute. Directin' the girl to stand by me, and
tellin' her that no harm should come to her except over my
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. ]<)9
lifeless body, I took another look over the side, and there was
the ketch, swarmin' with pirates, just under our (quarter.
" ' Here they come, boys !' I cried, and I jumped for a cut-
lass. Old Joe Bunker jumped at the same time, and as soon
as we got our weapons, me and him and the girl went to the
poop and prepared ourselves for the muss." (Here Mr. Wil-
kins paused for a moment, as though overcome by the memo-
ries of that dreadful day.) " Poor man ! I've never seen
Captain Jacobs since. We had hardly got the lady sheltered
behind us when the devils come a-rushin' over the side like a
parcel of monkeys. There must have been over a hundred
of 'em, and our crew didn't count over twenty-two men, all
told ; and each of 'em was armed with a kind of a spear like
a boat-hook, and a big knife. I can never forget 'em. As
they crawled along the bulwarks, they looked so much like the
blood-thirsty monsters which I fell in with once off the coast
of Africa. But somethin' had to be done, so I sung out to look
out for them ; and then such a scene took place as I hope, as I
am a livin' man, I never want to see again. The boys had got
together on the fo'cas'le, and were poppin' away as fast as
they could load ; but the thieves dropped over the sides, and
hid behind the galley and other places, until there must have
been more than half of the whole crowd on the ship. Of
course, Joe and I weren't idle, and we made more than one
of the bloody scoundrels roll round in his own gore durin' the
time they were gettin' together for a charge."
" The girl ! the young lady !" cried Mr. Wontus, excitedly.
"What was she doing?"
" She? — she was couchin' behind the binnacle. I wouldn't
let her expose her life needlessly, although she kept her pistol
cocked, and often wanted to have a shot. But I couldn't
allow it, you see, gentlemen ; I couldn't allow it."
" Certainly not !" cried a chorus of voices.
" Well, the whole thing took place in a flash, and before I
knowed exactly what had been done, there wasn't a man of all
our crew left standin' on the deck. The pirates rushed into
the poor fellers in a mob, and them that they didn't spear or
cut down with their knives they chucked overboard, and the
deck was swimmin' with blood. The crew fighted well, — like
tigers, — but the number was overpowerin', and they caved
like srass before the mower. The cuttin' and slashin' was
200 TVOXTUS, OR
horrible, and for a moment — only a moment — I didn't know
wliiit to do. There was one big feller, with a red cap on his
head, who appeared to be the leader, and thinks I to myself,
' If I can get you, this thing may make a change yet.' I was
just runnin' this through my mind when the pirates got a
sight of the young woman's dress floatin' in the wind, and,
with a fiendish howl, they started aft. My mind was made
up in a moment, and tellin' the girl to keep quiet, and biddin'
Joe follow me, I dashed down ofi" the poop and made for 'em,
Joe just behind me. (Smoke.)
" A good many of the devils was a-lookin' after plunder
about the ship, but there must have been more nor a dozen
under the command of the feller with the red cap. We met
'em about amidships, and me and the feller with the red cap
commenced business immediately. I pulled my pistol on bim,
but she missed fire, and then we closed. The man was nearly
double my heft, and fought like a fiend. But it was no use,
for we clinched; and I just doubled him over backwards, arid
then rammed the end of his spear-handle down his throat,
and he went under. (Sensation on the part of the listeners.)
When I got time to look around, Joe was a-lyin' dead at my
feet, with about a dozen lyin' dead around him, every one
bearin' the wide mark of Joe's cutlass. But there wasn't
much time to do any lookin' or thinkin' either just about
then ; so, drawin' my weapon, I sailed into the crowd, and
beat 'em back to near the fo'mast, where they turned on me,
and things got warmer than I ever want to see 'em again, I
tell you.'^
"How many were in the crowd which you and Joe attacked
in the first place ?" asked Mr. Xidd, looking up.
" Well, over a dozen, I reckon."
" And Joe had a dozen dead ones piled around him, had
he?"
" Yes."
" Well now, Mr. Wilkins, how many was in the party you
drove to the mast?" A murmur ran through the crowd of
listeners.
The narrator saw that he had made a slight mistake, and
sought to rectify it. " You see," said he, placing his cigar in
his mouth and rolling it around like a cow does her cud,
" there was a lot of 'em come up out of the fo'hatch just as
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 201
I was a scttlin' the leader, so after Joe had finished his men
there was as many more left."
The explanation was evidently satisfactory, and the speaker
continued :
" My idea was to keep myself between the pirates and the
girl, but, gentlemen, it wasn't within the range of a human
bein's power to do it, for they crowded around me as thick as
flies in a sugar bar'l, and I had to take the best ground I
could to defend myself I kept 'em back a long while, and we
cut and slashed in fine style. I don't think I ever made so
many — and I've made considerable — narrow escapes in my
life. Why, really my clothin' was fairly shaved off from my
body, and one feller would have taken off my head if I hadn't
been a little too quick for him and dodged ; as it was he cut
off all the hair on the top of my head so thunderin' close that
I looked as if I was bald. (Another murmur in the crowd.)
But I stuck to 'em until my strength commenced to give out,
and then castin' my eyes to the poop, I saw that it was all
up, for two or three of the scoundrels were there and was
holdin' the strugglin' girl by the arms. 'Here's the only
chance left,' says I ; so knockin' three or four of 'em down
with my fists, I took hold of the mainstay, and, before they
recovered themselves, I pulled myself, hand over hand, out of
their reach, and then swung myself on to the main yard-arm
and took a blow. But maybe I'm tirin' you, gentlemen?"
said Mr. Wilkins, complacently, after a pause.
" No ; go on ! go on !" cried Mr. Wontus and others. "Go
on!"
The speaker went on : " But I wasn't allowed to rest there
long before a half-dozen of the pirates commenced climbin'
the shrouds, holdin' their knives in their teeth. Says I, ' Ben,
your time's about come ;' but bein' a good swimmer I made
up my mind that I'd make one more effort, so just as they were
climbin' over the main-top I dropped down into the sea with
a yell, and swam under the ship's bottom, where I took hold
of the keel and held fast till I felt sure that the pirates would
believe I had gone to the bottom or been devoured by sharks
(Smoke.)
" I forgot to mentK)n," said the speaker, pausing, " that I
dropped my cutlass durin' the fight on deck, and picked up
the screw-driver and rammed it in my belt just as I was goiu'
I*
202 woyrus, or
up the stay. I mention this here because that screw-driver
is of considerable account in the completion of this story, or
was to me, anyhow. Well, as I was sayiu', I held fast to the
keel for some considerable time, and then pulled myself along
the bottom till I saw the ketch move off, and the ship luff
around into the wind and move toward the shore. Now,
thinks I, most of 'em have gone and now's the time for me
to act. Climbin' up the cut-water, which was pretty hard
work, I swung myself on the martingale, got on to the jib-
boom and took a peep over the deck ; and there, what a sight
met my eyes ! (Smoke.") The deck was swimmin' with
blood, and not more than fifteen or twenty of the pirates were
left to navigate the ship. There was the mu-kets a-layin'
scattered over the fo' castle, but there were two or three of the
villains between me and them, and I commenced to form a
plan for gittin' to 'em. I had no weapons, leastwise I thought
I hadn't, when my hand accidentall}^ touched the screw-driver
in my belt, and my heart liked to have jumped out of my
mouth with gladness. Have you ever been that way ?" asked
Mr. Wilkins, stopping the story and looking round at the
party ; but before any one had an opportunity to reply he an-
swered the question himself, and commenced to furnish a dis-
sertation on the different feelings w^hich come over a man
under sundry circumstances which he mentioned. In fact, he
waded so deeply into his new subject that it was only after a
rather severe reprimand from Mr. Wontus that he went on
with the narrative.
"AYell, to return," said he. "The moment I felt the
screw-driver in my hand, that minute I felt that there was
hope. For myself I didn't care ; but the desire to save the
beautiful creature, thus left alone among a barid of ferocious,
unchristian devils, gave me new strength, and I felt that I
could fight a regiment. The fellers between me and the mus-
kets had their backs to me ; so slidin' down the boom, with
the screw-driver in my right hand, I made one bound for the
nearest man, and sunk the tool so hard into his back that it
came out the other side. Quick as lightnin' I drew it from
his body, and sunk it into another feller, while with my left
hand I twisted another's head so bad that hp fell down dead.
So in I went, the sight of warm, fresh blood addiu' fuel to my
infuriated passion, until I reached the muskets. Once among
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION: 203
tlie muskets, with all the pirates at the stern, I commenced
lo.alin' and firin' as fast as I could, and in less than ten
minutes there wasn't a live head to be seen anywhere on the
ship s deck except the young lady. I called to her to conic
to me, and she did, and throwed her arms around my neck
and called me her deliverer. (Smoke.) But this wasn't no
time for thanks, so I went to work a-batterin' down the
hatches, to keep the skunks below that had gone there to keep
clear of me. When that was done, I commenced lookin'
around to see how things stood. There was the ketch a-sailiu'
otf as gay as a lark, thinkin' that the Galat'^a would follow.
But she didn't, for, takin' the young woman to the wheel, I
showed her how to keep the ship steady. Then I went to work
throwin' the carcasses overboard, and there must have been over
fifty of 'em, all told, — all pirates. (Sensation and more smoke.)
" I soon got things pretty well fixed, and then went to the
wheel myself Of course, the girl was about played out with
the scenes she'd seen and the work she'd done, but she didn't
want to give up ; but it was no use. So makin' her sit down
I commenced manoeuvrin' the ship, so as to make the pirates
on the ketch think she was becalmed, and in that way night
come and give us a chance to escape. They signaled once or
twice, and I throwed the ship around into the wind to fool
'em, and when the sun went down they was hull down. As
soon as they were out of sight I tacked ship, and by morniu'
was far enough out of their reach."
" But what became of the ship and the young lady ?" asked
Mr. AVoutus, as Wilkins ceased speaking, and was about to
move Oil.
" AV'hy, we had a good breeze and fine weather," he con-
tinued, turning round, " and takin' turns, me and the girl
sailed her into New Orleans in less than a fortnight, and there
I left her to keep my business engagements in another quar-
ter. The pirates who had hid in the hold I kept there, and
delivered them to the authorities, and they were hung."
"But the girl?" queried Mr. Wontus.
'' Well, me and her were pretty thick, that's a fiict, and the
owners wanted me to marry her and take charge of the Ca-
lat^a, but I hadn't time, and one evenin' I just cleared out
without sayin' a word to anybody, and I've never seen any of
'em since."
204 WOXTUS, OR
" Wonderful !" said Mr. Nidd, skeptically.
" Self-sacrificing !" said Mr. Wontus.
"Deserved a great reward," said a score of voices; and
amid the exclamations of surprise which this rather remark-
able story had elicited, Mr. Wilkins threw his cigar over-
board, and modestly withdrew^ from the party.
"A great liar !" said Mr. Nidd, looking after the retreating
form of the hero. " Baron Munchausen must look to his
laurels as long as that man lives. Munchausen himself "
"Mr. Xidd ! Mr. Nidd!" cried Mr. Wontus, interrupting,
" be a little charitable. Perhaps the man has gone through
these things. In fact, from his earnest manner and his great
familiarity with the subject, I have no doubt of it."
" You're right, old man," cried a voice on the outside of
the crowd, which sounded like Mr. Birkell's ; " I was on that
ship myself; was one of 'em that was chucked overboard. I
swam ashore, and am here to corroborate the story, — every
word of it. It's as true as preachin'."
Mr. Wontus jumped to his feet the moment the words
were spoken, and, slapping Nidd on the shoulder, with a tri-
umphant look in his eye, demanded to know what he (Nidd)
thought of that. The bystanders also manifested considerable
interest. But the boat was approaching her landing, and
amid the bustle and excitement which followed this event, the
affair was completely swallowed, and some important informa-
tion probably lost forever.
CHAPTER XVII.
NIDD MEETS WITH A TERRIBLE ADVENTURE, AND THE
CORPS MAKES SUNDRY ACQUAINTANCES OF AN AGREE-
ABLE CHARACTER.
Few of my readers, I dare say, have ever met in society or
elsewhere the renowned Doctor ^sculapius, yet I imagine
him to be pretty well known for all that, for on every side I
hear of his beautiful daughter Hygeia. I am not certain, but
I presume that it must have been the fashion of the day in
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 205
which this daughter was born to the doctor, for each and every
one of the female sex to assume some degree or title, for I find
it recorded that this young lady grew to the years of mature
womanhood without experiencing the mumps or the measles,
or any of the other events which mark the passing years of
youth, and hence on arriving at that interesting age was
christened Hygeia, the goddess of health.
Now the young woman being christened a goddess, and
goddesses being quite fashionable, and fashionable people being
much sought after, suggests the thought that the hotel at
Fortress Monroe is called the Hygeia.
A hotel anywhere along the sea-coast and in the vicinity of
a fort is not generally such an important afiair as to become a
matter of history, and yet there is something so exceedingly
odd and interesting about this hotel, just at this time, that I
cannot forbear mentioning it. Now by this I do not mean
that the hotel itself — that is, the building and the different
rooms — is very odd ; but I refer more particularly to the
people who inhabit the hotel, and may be considered as fix-
tures, either of the building or its immediate vicinity.
It was Sunday morning that the Wontus Corps of Observa-
tion first laid eyes on the Hygeia Hotel, and saw its dark and
sombre background, the walls of Fortress Monroe. A few
clouds had made their appearance in the sky, and the weather
was warm and murky. I cannot say whether Mr. Wontus
was aware of the fact that it was Sunday or not, but when at
length the boat was fastened to the wharf he insisted that the
corps should remain on board, and it was not until every other
passenger had gone ashore that Mr. Wontus and his party
ventured up the gang-plank to where the captain of the boat
was standing. Once here, Mr. Wontus inquired if his baggage
could remain aboard until he had secured apartments at the
hotel, and being answered in the affirmative, he took Mr.
Nidd's arm and sauntered up the wharf. The scene was so
entirely new to him that he lost no time in expressing his
delight, which at each moment was heightened by some new
object meeting his gaze, and ere he had gone many steps he
stood stock still and looked about him.
Directly in front of him stood the hotel, its white walls
peeping out from amidst the green shrubbery, and behind it
were the gray walls of the fort, from whose parapet looked
18
206 wax TVS, or
outward the black muzzles of the heavy g:uns of defense. In
his rear lie the pleasant waters of Hampton Roads, in the
middle of which were the Rip-raps, with its derricks and
tripods, a shapeless mass of hny:(i stones and iron ; and farther
over were the glittering white sands of the shores, gradually
losing themselves in the Elizabeth River. To his right were
the capes and the open sea in the distance, and nearer was the
red hull of the light-sliip rocking in the silent, ncver-cea.sing
swell of the ocean. On the left, and beyond the shipping
which lie at anchor in the dim distance, the James River came
stealing down until it mingled with the Elizabeth and is lost
in the waters of the Roads ; while nearer is the faint outline
of Newport News, and the grounds made forever memorable
by the Monitor and Merrimac but a few days before. Shore-
ward are seen the tree-tops where the village of Hampton
stood, and still nearer the marine hospitid stands like a
vidette picket on the bleak sands of the Peninsula. Coming
closer are the camps of troops, and still nearer is the settlement
of contrabands. All these things Mr. Wontus saw and
admired ; not only admired himself, but compelled the com-
pany to join him in his admiration and agi*ee in his remarks.
The passengers, and those who had flocked to the boat to
secure the newspapers of the day before, had left the wharf,
but still ]Mr. Wontus and his party lingered. Now the freight
was being landed ; all the space was needed, and the corps was
politely requested to move on. The party started, and. in all
probability would have gone directly to the hotel, but fur the
directions from a sentinel to " go in there," pointing at the
same time to a small frame building, over the door of which
were the words " Provost 3Iai*shal.'' Mr. Wontus looked at
Nidd, then at the guard, and then at the words over the door.
It was evident that he still retained some recollection of his
Washington experience, for no sooner had he comprehended
the meaning of the words than he almost upset Mr. Nidd by
the suddenness of his movements in the direction indicated by
the sentinel.
'' Your passes, gentlemen," said an officer who was sitting
behind a small rough table in one corner of the little room.
'' Yes, sir," said Mr. Wontus. and forthwith he commenced
fumbling in his different pockets. But the passes were not
there, and the great drops of perspiration stood out upon his
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 207
brow as he announced the fact that he could not find the
documents.
'' Very sorry, gentlemen ; but you will have to go on board
the steamer auain and return to Baltimore. Persons not in
the service and without written authority are not permitted to
land on the Point."
Mr. Nidd, who had been gazing out of the window, with his
attention fixed on the shipping, to the exclusion of more impor-
tant business, now turned round, and, seeing Mr. Wontus and
the rest wearing such sorrowful countenances, asked the reason
therefor, and was informed. His only reply was a low muttering,
and he deposited the passes on the table.
" All correct !" remarked the officer, scanning the papers ;
and with more elasticity than was usual with him Mr. Wontus
walked out of the room and led the way toward the hotel.
" How very beautiful it is!" cried Mr. Wontus, as he reached
the sidewalk running in front of the hotel, and pointing to the
long, wide veranda which traversed the entire south front of
the building. "How cool and refreshing it looks!" said he,
plucking the leaves from an overhanging branch. " I suppose
this is the entrance." And he laid his hand upon the gate and
opened it.
" Very quiet," said Mr. Nidd, looking up and down the
veranda.
" Somebody's dead, I reckon," remarked Mr. Wilkins,
coming forward and manifesting his accustomed interest.
" Shutters shut."
" Ah, there's a man !" cried Wontus, as a soldier with his
musket at a shoulder came slowly along the path. " We'll
walk in." The gentlemen walked in.
" Halt !" commanded the soldier, quickly, but not so quick
as to prevent Mr. Wilkins from throwing himself at full length
on the luxuriant grass. "You can't go in here, sir!" The
last was addressed to Mr. Nidd, who was staring the man in
the face in a manner which some people would be inclined to
call impudent.
" You must get out of here !" continued the soldier.
" Certainly," said Mr. Wontus; and he walked out, accom-
panied by Wilkins and Thomson. The day was warm, and
the shade of the trees was most refreshing. Mr. Nidd con-
cluded that he would stay where he was.
208 WOXTUS, OR
" Yr»u must get out of here," said the guard, as Xidd seated
himself on the steps and commenced fanning himself with his
hat.
"This way," cried Mr. Won t us, cheerfully ; and he passed
on up the sidewalk. Mr. Nidd neitlier .spoke nor moved, his
face wore a look of warm, stoical indifference, and he fanned
himself vigorously.
" Are you going out?" asked the soldier.
Mr. Nidd made no reply, nor was there evpn the slightest
indication that he had heard the remark. There was silence for
a time, during which the soldier looked at Mr. Nidd, and Mr.
Nidd looked at everything but the interrogator.
" Come, come!"' said the guard, at length, speaking quickly,
and looking about him as though he was fearful that he might
be observed and thought negligent of his duty ; " you must
got out of here, do you hear ?"
Mr. Nidd cast a contemptuous glance at the guard, and then
glanced up and down the porch. Placing his hat upon his
head he at length stood upon his feet, aud the guard, believing
that he was about taking his departure from the grounds and
that portion of the building used by the military authorities
for the storage of a variety of material, faced about and pro-
ceeded on his beat. That the sentinel was mistaken in his
conclusions there can be no reasonable doubt, for the moment
his back was turned, Nidd very unceremoniously stepped along
the sward, and again seated himself on the porch. From his
new position he had a good view of Mr. Wontus. who was
busily engaged in making sundry necessary inquiries of a
number of gentlemen at the corner of the hotel. Mr. Nidd
had planted" himself beneath the shade of a bushy apple-tree
whose blossoms perfumed the air with their fragrance, and as
he took off his hat and recommenced the fanning process, his
face wore a more serene and contented appearance. He looked
comfortable.
I have heard of men, ignorant of the imminent peril which
underlaid them, sitting on a barrel of powder, complacently
smoking their pipes ; and I have often imagined how exceed-
ingly uncomfortable they must have been when made ac-
quainted with the fact. But there is a degi'ee of pleasure
found in being in the midst of danger, when you feel sure in
your own mind that either Providence or some arrangement
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 209
of your own makes you porfectly safe, which cannot be found
in an}' other condition in life ; at least, such is my experience.
But no matter.
Mr. Nidd had fixed himself in the most comfortable atti-
tude, and was enjoying the cool sea air which fanned his
heated brow, when the guard again approached, but at such a
distance that Mr. Nidd felt sure that he would escape his at-
tention. And he bid fair to do so, for the guard passed
slowly along, with his eyes turned toward the shipping.
Not knowing exactly, I take the liberty of presuming, that
most people have experienced that peculiar sensation caused
by a most intense desire to scratch a certain part of the body
just at some particular time when one's hands are in such a
position or condition as to effectually prevent any such move-
ment, and to make a noise just at some particular moment
when it was your heart's greatest desire to remain perfectly
quiet. At the very moment that jMr. Nidd believed that he
was going to escape the vigilance of the guard and be allowed
a continuation of his enjoyment, he was taken with an irre-
pressible desire to sneeze. Now sneezing was something that
Mr. Nidd was seldom afflicted with, but just now he felt that
he must sneeze or die. In vain he pressed his handkerchief
into his mouth and held his nose ; it icoidd come, and come
it did, and in a most astounding fashion. Once, twice, three
times he sneezed, and in such a manner as would astonish the
ears of a cannoneer.
Instinctively, the guard no sooner heard the sound emanating
from a forbidden direction than he let his piece fall into the
hollow of his left hand, and, gazing through the intermediate
foliage, he demanded with an oath what ]Mr. Nidd was doing
there. Had IMr. Nidd been inclined to answer, it is probable
that he could not have articulated a word, for he was diligently
applying his handkerchief to his nose, and large, pearly tears
were standing in his eyes.
The knowledge that the intruder had disobeyed the former
orders to vacate the premises, and the rather nonchalant man-
ner of Mr. Nidd, had evilently aroused the guard's ire, for,
upon his receiving no reply to his request, without further
ceremony he charged at Mr. Nidd with a rush, and barely
gave that gentleman time to gather up his long legs and
spiing on to the floor of the veranda before he was upon
18"-
210 WOXTUS, OR
him. The reader knows that 3Ir. NidJ was by habit generally
austere and didactic in his manner ; but now that he was op-
posed in such a terrible manner, and had little or no exper-
ience as to the duties or privileges of a soldier, his severe
manner was increased, and the moment he was out of the way
of the bayonet that moment he commenced such a tirade of
abuse as to cause 3Ir. Wontus and the party to look round in
wonder.
" Come down out of there !" cried the soldier.
" I'm a free American citizen," shouted Mr. Nidd, savagely,
in return, '' and I'll see you cursed first !''
" I'll shoot you !" cried the soldier, cocking his piece,
which, Mr. Xidd observed, was without a cap.
"Shoot and be continentaled !'' cried Nidd, at the same
time, however, seeking the protection of the pile of material
on the porch.
The sentinel was now thoroughly aroused. There was mis-
chief lurking in his eye and manner. " I'll see about this !"
said he ; and, with a bound, he leaped on to the floor, and,
with his piece at a charge, he made at Nidd as though he
thirsted for his blood.
'' Go it, old man !" cried the party at the corner, now thor-
oughly interested in the affair.
But Mr. Xidd wanted no advice, for the determined manner
and the vigorous lunges which the guard made at him whtn-
ever he came near enough to warrant the effort was all that
was necessary to induce him to go it just as fast as his leg's
would carry him.
The affair commenced to assume a serious as well as a
ludicrous aspect ; serious to Mr. Nidd, but ludicrous to the
bystanders. First around one corner of the heap of boxes
went Nidd, his hat on the back of his head, and his eyes
thrown to the rear in the most fearful manner, and close behind
him came the g-uard. Now they went following each other
round and round the pile, which reached nearly to the ceiling ;
then they halt at different corners, and eye each other with
fiendish glances, and the chase began again. The crowd of
spectators became larger each moment, and the choicest mor-
sels of advice were showered upon Nidd and his assailant.
Again they halted, each peeping from his corner, each intent
on doing his best,, and then around they went again.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 211
" Tear down the boxes !" slioiited a soldit;r from the fence.
The guard cast his eye upward, and iMr. Nidd seized upon
the moment to make a grand dash for lite and liberty.
" There he goes !" cried tlie lookers-on, and round the cor-
ner came the guard with quickened steps, and now the chase
became more exciting than ever,
" Stop, stop !" cried Mr. AVontus, drawing nearer ; but some-
body politely requested him to mind his own business, and he
did as he was directed, but not without first appealing to some
of the bystanders to save his friend's life, which he considered
was in danger, on account of the gleaming bayonet and the
stalwart form behind it.
Up and down, in and out, first dodging behind this tree and ^
then that, went the guard and Mr. Nidd, in the narrow place
between the fence and the veranda ; and to everybody save
the participants themselves the afi'air was most laughable.
Mr. Nidd's face was now the color of a well-baked brick,
and the perspiration stood out on his brow like huge beads,
and trickled from the end of his nose as though that impor-
tant feature had suddenly become a miniature fountain. On a
straight run he was the better man, because of his long legs,
but at close quarters and in dodging the guard was many de-
grees his superior, for many reasons, but principally for his
short legs. The aifair from the commencement had occupied
but a few minutes, and now the end was drawing near. Twice
in the last heat the guard had thrust at Mr. Nidd, and Nidd
had escaped by the merest chance. It is probable that he
would have run out at the gate, but every time that he essayed
that movement his long legs occupied too much time in turn-
ing the necessary corners, and the close proximity of the guard
forbade the undertaking. But the denouement was at hand.
Nidd had thrice successfully created erroneous ideas in the
mind of his pursuer by some clever feints at the lower end of
the inclosure, and now he sprang forward with huge strides,
and made directly for the front yard, with the bayonet close
behind him. It was now plain that he intended leaping the
fence at any hazard of life or limb, and he was encouraged in
his determination by Thomas Thomson, who, oblivious to all
surroundings, was carrying on a most astonishing pantomimic
performance intended to be expressive of his desire to see Mr.
Nidd safely through his difiiculties.
212 WOXTUS, OR
The decisive momeat was at hand. Gathering himself up
for the leap, he clinched his hands and made the spring. His
toes touched the top rail, his hands swung wildly in the air,
and his eyes wore a horrifying expression ; his equipoise has
been disturbed, and his body slanted to the right ; he is clear ;
n(j, the guard is too close, and the bright bayonet flashes in
the sunshine. An encouraging word escaped the lips of Mr.
^Vontus, and the spectators laughed gleefully. He struggles
to clear his foot from the rail ; he succeeds ! No, it is too
late, and the glittering bayonet is thrust forward like a flash,
and Mr. Nidd tumbles, not to the ground, for the bayonet has
punctured the back part of his trousers, and he is impaled on
^ its point, while the soldier makes a fulcrum of the fence, and
holds the gentleman aloft, as an angler would a fish. It was
all done with the quickness of thought, and the soldier rested
l:is body on the st(X'k of his musket, while the long arms and
longer legs of Mr. Nidd dangled in the air, like a huge spider
dangling from his web.
What hard-heiirted fellows these soldiers are ! This Mr.
Wontus not only thought, but said, as he motioned Wilkins
to follow him, and the two flew to the rescue. To extricate the
gentleman from his uncomfortable position was a work of some
magnitude, owing to the dogged indifference of the soldier,
who hung to his musket and his victim with a satisfaction so
grim as to excite feelings of the greatest disgust in the breast
of our hero. At last the task was done, but not until the
hands of two or three of the delicate-looking gentlemen who
were standing by had lent their assistance. Mr. Nidd was
once more upon his feet, while the guard stood leaning on his
piece, eyeing the rent in his victim's pantaloons with savage
pleasure.
It was some minutes before Mr. Xidd regained his compo-
sure, and the moment he did so he inspected his pantaloons,
and then cast curses lung and deep upon the head of the soldier,
who was now at a safe distance, perambulating his beat as though
nothing had occurred to disturb the even current of his life.
'• Most unfortunate !" said Mr. Wontus ; " I hope you are
not hurt." And he looked at his fellow-member with solicitude
and sympathy.
"Hurt!" cried Mr. Nidd, savagely. "Hurt! I am hurt, — ■
I am crushed, — I shall die of mortification ! I shall leave here
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATIOX. 213
on the next boat. Stay ? No, sir ; I will not stay. Wounded?
No, sir, I am not wounded ! My flesh is intact, thank God, but
I have had enough of this, and enough is as good as a feast!"
Mr. Wontus now endeavored to soothe the wounded spirit
of his friend, and cited his own experience to prove that he
had been deah with more severely and witliout cause. Misery
loves company, and the recollections of Mr. Wontus's experience,
together with that gentleman's sympathetic manner, so palliated
the sufferings of Mr. Nidd, that he finally allowed himself to
be led into the office of the hotel, where an explanation of af-
fairs was made to the Officer of the Day by IMr. Wontus, which
was so entirely satisfactory that the officer gave them no further
trouble. Everybody else appeared to take the matter as an
every-day affair, and while Mr. Nidd came in for a fair share
of quizzical looks, none were so indelicate as to address him on
the subject.
In those days, the office of the Hygeia Hotel was more than an
office ; it was, among other things, a sort of grand entrepot for
everything, from an officer's haversack to a quartermaster's out-
fit, as well as a bed-chamber, dining-room, parlor, and reading-
room ; and the vast concourse of people who are constantly en
route from or to some one of the scenes of military operations
made it what it was. It was a most interesting sight, to be
seated here and watch the different people who came and went,
like the tide. Of course everything was under the control of
the military authorities, and but few men were here save those
who came armed with that authority in some way or another.
Birkill and his fellow-recruits were not allowed to enter the
hotel, and Mr. Thomson had walked with them as far as he
dare on their road to Camp Hamilton. Soldiers were everywhere,
and the clean, bright uniform of the garrison contrasts strongly
with that of those who come from far over the tops of the green
pine-trees, to the westward.
But here is a group of men whose dress and manner indicate
that they do not belong to th^ army, or, if they do, they are
of a corps distinct from any branch of the service I have ever
seen. Perhaps there are a dozen of them. They appear to
be known by everybody, and everybody, from the greatest and
most dignified general to the lowest private, has a word with
them. There is a spice of jollity and nonchalance about them
which IS charming to look upon in these days of military pre-
214 WOXTL'S, OR
cision, and yet the lines of thouuht are so strongly marked on
each countenance as to indicate that there is more about them
than is seen on the surface. Quick at repartee, and with a
pleasant smile for all who come in contact with them, they
wander about the grounds in a careless, listless manner, and
3X't I find that the smallest event is noticed. None of them
are old men, not even what we call middle-aged men, and yet
each wears a sort of indescribable air about him, which seems
to say, so far shalt thou go and no farther.
They wear no uniform. Each appears to be clothed to suit
himself, and with an eye single to comfort and convenience.
Nor do they appear to be engaged in any movement which
needs concert of action, but each moves about individually,
except at stated intervals, and then they come together and
engage in whispers most mysterious. It was this fiict which
first caused 31r. Wontus to notice them particularly, and as
they apparently belonged to a class that he had never met be-
fore, he considered it his duty, as a corps of observation, to
inquire who and what they were. Leaving Nidd still brooding
over his troubles, seated on the CiUitle of a saddle which lay
on the floor, Mr. "Wontus walked to the clerk, and asked :
" Who are those gentlemen ?" and as he spoke he nodded
his head in the direction of a group of men who stood in the
doorway.
" The men who make considerable of the generals and other
great men," said the clerk, with a smile.
"Ah!" exclaimed Mr. Wontus, a shade of doubt passing
over his foce. " Yes, but where did they come from?"
Our hero did not like to expose his ignorance, and ap-
proached the matter delicately.
" From every quarter. All the cities, North, East, and
West."
" Any from New York ?" asked Mr. Wontus.
" Let me see," said the clerk, leaning his chin upon his
hand and gazing at the party. " See those two on the
right?"
Mr. Wontus nodded.
"They're from New York. The one just outside, from
Philadelphia ; that little fellow, with specs, from Cincinnati ;
the others from Chicago. St. Louis, and, in fact, from all over."
"Engineers?" queried 31r. Wontus, softly.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 215
"Engineers? I should think so!" The clerk laughed,
and then added, in a mysterious whisper, " Bohemians !"
Now, 3Ir. Wontus had often heard of Bohemians, and had
a rather indistinct idea that they were gypsies, or, more prob-
ably, natives of Bohemia, and ho* remarked to the clerk that
it was really wonderful that the government would allow them
to be at such an important place, in a military sense, as Fort-
ress Monroe.
" Allow them to be here ?" said the clerk, with surprise
manifested in his tone. " Why, sir, they are probably one of
the most important, useful, and powerful elements in the
army. To be sure, they often disclose the news of an impor-
tant movement, which may be wrong ; but I don't think there
is one among them who would do so willfully. In fact, I know
them to have been blamed many times for disclosures of this
character when they were as guiltless as you are, and when
the very men themselves who made the charges against them
were the ones who were really in fault and to blame."
Mr. Wontus saii "Yes, sir," and stood like a man be-
fogged. The clerk's language was incomprehensible.
" They are always ready," continued the clerk, " to do a
good turn for a friend, and I often wonder at them doing so
much for everybody and so little for themselves. I have seen
men have them work for them day after day, at work which
they couldn't do themselves, and then give them a 'thank
you' for pay. But they don't often say anything about it (he
lowered his voice to a whisper), although I know that some
of 'em don't get more pay than will keep body and soul to-
gether. And then they are blamed for about everything that
happens. Powerful ? why, I'll tell you how powerful. Why,
you see people can talk about their not believing anything
they see in the newspapers, but everybody does believe, not-
w^ithstanding. Well, suppose these men undertake to tell
half — -just half — of what they could tell if they were so
minded, it wouldn't take long before they'd have the people
disgusted with about half the gi'eat men which we hear
about; but they don't. Occasionally they may sail into a
fellow who has been weighed frequently and found wanting,
but that don't take place often, considering how many men
of that kind we come across every day. And, just now, look
at what they are doing for the government by encouraging
216 wax TVS, on
eulistraents. — you know they could discourage them just as
easily, — and how much they are doing for the people by keep-
ing them informed of the whereabouts and condition of the
members of their families who are in the army. Brave ? as
brave as anybody else. They go everywhere that the army
goes, and have a good deal worse time of it than many of the
soldiers, because they are entirely alone and unprovided for in
any respect. Thanks? not much. If they do their best they
haVe simply done their duty, and I've known men about here
to speak in the severest terms about them because they spoke
of them in a way that they richly deserved, but not half as
bad as nine out of every ten men you meet would have done
under the same circumstances."
Mr. Wontus had asked numerous questions, and listened
most eagerly, but when the clerk had concluded he knew as
little in regard to who the men were as he did before.
"Good fellows?" asked Mr. Wontus, by way of starting
the conversation anew. " Don't carry any weapons, do they?"
The clerk laughed immoderately. " Carry weapons?" said
he. " No. Wiiy, don't you really know who they are?"
Mr. Wontus assumed a dignified manner, and said that he
did not.
" They are Bohemians, — reporters, editors, correspondents
for the newspapers. I'll introduce you."
Mr. Wontus stood back like a man who had suddenly
touched the poles of a galvanic battery, and a mingled expres-
sion of pleasure and surprise came over his flice, and he gazed
at the group of young men in the doorway with renewed inter-
est. " And these are the men who do so much of our think-
ing for us," said he ; and then, turning to the clerk, he assured
that gentleman that nothing could possibly give him more
pleasure than to be introduced to the mysterious fraternity.
The clerk called some of the gentlemen by name, and, as they
came up, introduced them to Mr. Wontus by the names of
the papers they represented, and, in a moment, Mr. Wontus
found himself talking to them as if he had known them all
his life.
The sun had so fir traveled his path that now his face could
not be seen, still. ^Ir. Nidd sat like a statue on the saddle
where he had first seated himself Thomas Thomson was
standing in the roadway, engaged in inspecting the different
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 217
objects of interest that came within the line of his vision.
And Benjamin Wilkins was gone, nobody knew wheie.
It now occurred to Mr. Wontus that it was high time tliat
the baggage was moved ashore, and accommodations secured
at the hotel. It was impossible for Mr. Wontus to siiy how
long he should remain on the Point, and it was only after he
had signed his own name and that of his companions on the
book that he was informed by the clerk that he was ^'cry soriy
to say that it would be impossible to accommodate them with
rooms, but he was very glad to be able to say that he could
give them meals, — at least just now.
This information was astonishing. For the first time Mr.
Wontus^ commenced to realize some of the vicissitudes of war,
and he immediately communicated the information he had re-
ceived to Mr. Nidd. I have never noticed how^ cross a bear
with a sore head is, or can be, yet the phrase is familiar, and
I now say that Mr. Nidd was as cross as a bear with a sore
head, and was commensurately disagreeable. Nothing but an
immediate departure for home would suit him, and Mr. Wontus
finally gave up endeavoring to persuade him to take a philo-
sophical view of his affair with the guard, and started out in
quest of Mr. Wilkins. It was gome time before the factotum
could be found, and when he was found it was on the steps of
one of the many small buildings which lined the way from the
Fort to Camp Hamilton. He was the centre of a group of
listeners, whose eager manners and sparkling eyes told how
interested they were; but Mr. Wontus calted him sharply,
and his story was ended most unceremoniously.
Directing Wilkins to secure the services of Mr. Thomson,
and immediately have all the corps effects brought to the
hotel, Mr. Wontus returned to Nidd, and found that gentleman
deeply absorbed in relating to one of the correspondents the
full particulars of his aflfair with the guard.
"And now," cried Mr. Nidd, bringing his right fist down
into his left hand with great force, " I'll bet I can flog him ;
and I will do it, if I have a chance."
" Certainly, certainly, sir," replied the correspondent; "but
then, you see, it is not the man's fault. It is his officer's
fault, and he is the man upon whom you should wreak your
vengeance."
" Certainly," chimed in Mr. Wontus ; and Mr. Nidd, glad
K 19
218 WOXTUS, OR
to secure any honorable way of getting out of the affair, finally
agreed that his friends were right, but avowed, in the strongest
lawful language, that the next time such a thing occurred there
would be blood spilt, and it would not be his.
Good counsel prevailed in the conversation which followed,
and by the time 3Ir. Wilkins, with the assistance of a score
or so of " contrabands," had succeeded in getting the baggage
all ashore and conveyed to the neighborhood of the hotel (I
lay some stress on the word neighborhood, because it was im-
possible to find storage for it i/i the hotel) Mr. Nidd had so
far forgotten, or rather forgiven, the indignity he had suffered
as to insist on all the gentlemen with whom he had had con-
versation taking a glass of whisky with him from his private
flask. During this ceremony Mr. Wontus was loud in his
complaints concerning the want of accommodations at the
Hygeia ; but his trouble was laid aside for the time by the
generous offer of the New York Morning Glorij^ inviting him
to a place in the " Halls of the Literati." Mr. Wontus, with-
out knowing what or where this was, gladly accepted the offer
for himself and Nidd, and what followed the acceptance must
find a place in another chapter.
CHAPTER XVIIL
MEETING OF THE INFLATUS — TVONTUS AND NIDD ARE
INITIATED AND BECOME MEMBERS A JOLLY TIME, WITH
A STARTLING DENOUEMENT.
If the first floor of the Hygeia Hotel was full, the second
was crowded. Not crowded in a wide or general sense, but
crowded in that particular sense which might be called jammed,
by those who are not accustomed to the peculiar style of dove-
tailing practiced by hotel-keepers in those localities where
armies most do congregate. Every room in the house was
full ; so were the halls, so were the stairways, and so was the
yard.
I think that I have mentioned before that Mr. Wontus
was a deeply -grateful man ; therefore it is not necessary for
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 219
me to reiterate the fact here. He was keenly sensible to the
kindness of the New York Morning Glory, for observation
and inquiry had given him to understand that, unless some-
body took him in, his bed was likely to be the pebbly sands
of the sea-side, or perhaps the proverbial soft side of a plank.
He had no fears for the other members of the corps. Mr.
Thomson was with Wilkins, and he was sure that Wilkins
would provide himself with quarters without difficulty, and
then Tommy would be taken care of
Early in the evening our hero had directed Wilkins to
hand over to the care of the clerk one of the largest demi-
johns, and when the hour came for retiring, he had fully ma-
tured his plans and decided that his new-found and very jolly
friends should have a substantial evidence of his appreciation.
The contents of the demijohn had been purchased for the use
of the sick soldiers, and Mr. Wontus was loth to part with
a drop of it ; but he felt that common courtesy demanded
something at his hands, and he sacrificed a principle to do
what he considered a kindness. With thoughts like these he
followed the gentlemen up-stairs, keeping the demijohn well
concealed behind his portly person. The company should
have a surprise as well as a treat.
The aeriform fluid known as gas was not among the luxu-
ries of Old Point Comfort. So our friends and their new
companions found their way up-stairs amid the refulgency of
those luminaries called "dips," and were in high good humor.
The literati of the Point were generally in a good humor, but
just now the stirring events which were transpiring around
them every day gave ample employment to their minds and
pens, and they were comparatively happy. The hall of the
second floor was reached, and all the rooms being full, — and by
that I mean they were to be full some time during the night,
— it was resolved that the regular meeting of the literati should
be held in the hall.
"Sit down, sir!" said the Morning Glory, elevating his
candle above his head that he might be better enabled to see,
and pointing to one of the cots which were arranged along
one side of the hall ; " sit down, gentlemen. We are exceed-
ingly glad to see you, but somewhat depressed in spirits at
not being able to offer you more comfortable quarters ; but
really this grand hotel, although accustomed to a great many
220 WONTUS, OR
things, is not accustomed to such an influx of visitors. Poor
quarters are better than none, though, and you are welcome ;
make yourselves at home. The boys are not all in yet, — out
on the war-path, I suppose, — but they will all be in presently."
And the speaker went on fastening his candle to the door
frame, while Mr. Wontus and the others seated themselves on
the cots and such other furniture as could be found.
In the dull, flickering liiiht of two candles the party pre-
sented a picture at once odd and singularly grotesque. The
feeble rays from the candles but seemed to cast elongated
shadows on the walls and make the dark background of the
hall look thrice darker than it w^is. The solitary chair which
found a place in the circle became a spectre as it marked \\.s
dull outline on the floor beyond, and as Mr. Wontus peered
into the darkness and then cast a glance over the deeply-
shadowed faces about him, he remarked, in an under-tone, to
Mr. Nidd, that he never had seen anything so solemn in his
life, which remark he recalled a moment afterwards, and ex-
cepted the guard-house at AYashington. To this Mr. Xidd
made no reply, but sat down on a cot which had been stretched
across the hall for his accommodation.
" Ah, gentlemen !" cried the Morning Glory ^ after he had
succeeded in fastening the candles to his satistaction and was
about sitting down, " if I mistake not, I have forgotten to
introduce you to my friends, — your friends, friends of all of
us. This is Mr. Wompus "
" Wontus !" interrupted the gentleman introduced ; '• Won-
tus, sir ! Wontus !"
"Ah. yes; excuse me, sir," continued the gentleman, in the
most polite and affable manner. " Mr. Wontus."
The gentlemen rose from their seats and bowed, and all the
gentlemen said they were very glad to see him.
" This is Mr. Diddler," cried the spokesman, turning to
Mr. Nidd. " Xo relation to the celebrated Jeremy. The
friend of "
" Nidd !" cried Mr. Wontus, again interrupting when he
heard his friend" s name subjected to such a metamorphosis;
" Mr. Nidd ! Not Diddler,— Nidd !"
" Ten thousand pardons, sir ! I really hope you will ex-
cuse me. I heard your name very indistinctly when intro-
duced, and I assure you I am very soriy that I should have
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 221
made such a blunder. You do not look like a man who would
be the owner of such a name. I might have known better by
a single glance. Mr. Nidd, gentlemen !"
Mr. Nidd was inclined to leave his seat when he first heard
himself called by — what he considered — the horrible name
of Diddler; but the MoDiing Glory s serenity, together with
his (Nidd's) want of knowledge as to where he should go in
case he did leave, held him in his place, and he expressed
himself as fully and entirely satisfied with the apology and
explanation.
And then the company extended the same greeting to him
that they had extended to Mr. Wontus.
The Morning Glory was a man of medium height, spare,
wiry frame, and finely-developed head. His complexion had
been light, but exposure had bronzed it so, that now, in the
dim candle-light, it was a dark olive. His features were
regular, and his forehead was strongly marked at the base by
a pair of heavy eyebrows, which shaded and at times almost
hid his sparkling blue eyes from view. A continual smile
seemed to play over his features ; yet each look and gesture
conveyed to the surface every emotion, either real or assumed,
which found a place in his heart or mind. He was a ruling
spirit among his companions, and his presence was always the
signal for a jolly time.
" Now, gentlemen," cried this ruling spirit, addressing him-
self to Wontus and Nidd, and speaking in a deep, serious
voice, which was strangely at variance with the sparkle in his
eye, " we have no strangers within the precincts of this hal-
lowed circle. The halls of The Infiatus — the name of our
association — are sacred, and none dare breathe the scented air
save those wlio are bound by the ties of membership. As
individuals, we stand like the planets in the blue arch above
us — alone ; as an association, we are as homogeneous as granu-
lated silver; and it therefore becomes my duty, before going
further, to introduce the members of our association, to explain
certain rules, and to do certain acts, before you can be taken
into the full embrace of our circle, which —
Has made a brotherhood to tower,
Erect aud high, a sovereign power.
"As 1 have already remarked, the precincts of The Inflatus
19*
222 WOXTUS, OR
are sacred ; therefore its scented air is never profaned by the
mention of a mortal's name. Need I say more than to men-
tion that those beautiful, euphonious names, Smith, Brown,
and Jones, would dispel the most charming illusion? Per
consequence, as all men must be recognized in some way, we
have ruled that the moment the club commences its session,
each gentleman who is a member of the craft takes the name
of the journal which he represents in this most sanguinary
field, and holds it until he becomes the individual he was
before he entered."
Messi-s. Wontus and Nidd exchanged glances. The Morn-
ing Ghjry proceeded :
" I am now about to introduce you to our good fellows.
Let me commence with myself. ( Sensation. j As you have
already understood, my name is plain Thomas Spadrick ; but
as I represent that most powerful and influential (cries of
" Oh !" and '* Draw it mild !"' from the company) journal, the
New York Monung Glory ^ I take that name, and am known
by none other while I am here.
" The gentleman on your right." continued the speaker,
pointing to a gentleman sitting by Mr. Nidd, " is the Chicago
Trumpet of Liberty, an ephemeral sheet of strong convictions
on both sides of every question. The next gentleman is the
Philadelphia Voice of Truth, a paper noted among its few
readers for the falsehoods with which its columns teem day
after day, time without end. The next gentleman is the Bos-
ton Illustrated Grape Shot, a paper of large paits, limited cir-
culation, but rather more able than any of the other illustrated
journals, whose representatives are not among us now. This
latter fact accounts, in a measure, for its greatness. His paper
is able, and in it can be found the most heart-rending cuts ;
price-.ten cents. The gentleman who represents the Cincin-
nati Falcon sits here on my left. He can speak for himself.
That gentleman there, he with the green spectacles and min-
isterial countenance, is from that diabolical and most infamous
journal, the New York Slasher, a paper of no importance
(sensation, and cries of " Don't !") ; of limited circulation and
no influence ; notorious only for making a map of the battle
of Bull Bun answer for all the battles fought since that day
in every quarter of the globe, each time underlined with the
words, ' Drawn by our special artist on the spot.' "
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 223
"Successful rival of the Morning Glory 1'^ cried the Grap6
jShof, iu a stage whisper.
The speaker proceeded, without noticing the interruption :
" This gentleman is the Cleveland Bantam, a paper of small
size, but great liberality in point of salaries, and of astonishing
perseverance. It employs, as you observe, only the very best
talent, and was never known to back down from an assertion
once made. The reverse of this is the fine-looking gentleman
sitting there, just back of Mr. Didd — Nidd. He represents, or
rather the Baltimore Echo sent him here ; but since he has
never been known to be fully aw\ake except at the meetings of
The Inflatus, I doubt whether he represents anybody but him-
self. However, I presume he drawls his salary, and that's saying
a great deal !" And the gentleman continued in this strain
until all were introduced.
The smile which each face had worn during what I may be
excused for calling the performance, now broke into a roar of
laughter and applause, amid which the Mornhig Glory took
his seat, and Mr. Wontus brought forth his demijohn from be-
neath the cot.
Mr. Wontus always considered himself one of the most un-
fortunate of men in a social point of view, for while he was
extravagantly fond of fun of almost every description, yet, when
in company, he found himself entirely incapable of contributing
the slightest moiety to the general fund. He often tried to
do his share, but his stories fell flat on the listeners, and when
he essayed to repeat w4iat he had enjoyed himself and knew
that others enjoyed, his version was spiritless, and made every-
body look at him in astonishment. In short, experience had
taught him that he was a bad story-teller, and, like other mea
have done, and will continue to do, he made his contribution
to the pleasure of the party through the gastronomic organs.
In other words, he found men's hearts by way of their mouths.
I am not positively certain, and therefore cannot say with
truth, that any of the members of The Inflatus saw Mr. Won-
tus produce the demijohn, which he had so carefully placed
under the cot on which he was sitting, and yet I do not consider
it presumption on my part when I say I am inclined to believe,
taking the action of the members as my guide, that they did.
First, the Voice of Truth arose and stole silently away into
the darkness. Then, in quick succession, as if by some pre-
224 WOXTCS, OR
conc-ertod arrangement, mysteriously followed the SlasJicr^ the
Grape Shot, the Moriiing Glory, and the Trinnpef of Liberty.
Mr. Wuutus and Mr. Nidd looked at the silent movements of
their new friends with some astonishment, but ere they had
an opportunity to express their thoughts upon the subject, the
gentlemen came flitting back again, and dropped into their
seats as silently as they had left them. The smile had faded
from their fl^ces, and a look of grave drollery had taken ita
place. Each held something in his hand, but in the uncertain
light of the candles Mr. Wontus was unable to determine what
it was, although he believed it to be a piece of glassware. For
a moment the silence was only broken by the deep roar of the
sea. The Voice of Truth after a time, rose to his feet, and in
slow, measured tones, and with mock gravity in his manner,
addressed the company :
" Oh, sjDeak, if voice thou hast !
Tell me what sacrifice can soothe your spirits,
Can still the unquiet sleepers of the grave,
For this most horrid visitation
Beyond endurance of the noblest mind."
Solemn voices : " The generous wine ; the flowing bowl."
Mr. Wontus looked alarmed. His fingers nervously clutched
the neck of the demijohn, and he glanced first at the Morning
Glory and then at Nidd. The Morning Glory had his face
turned to the ceiling, and Nidd's eyes were tight shut.
" Let us rise !" said the Bantam., in a deep, sepulchral voice ;
and the company, with the exception of Messrs. Wontus and
Nidd, rose to their feet. Mr. Wontus looked more astonished
than ever. He was about to ask an explanation, when he was
interrupted by the Grape Shot :
" Fill full. Why, this is as it should be. Here
Is my true realm, amidst bright eyes and faces."
Voices : " All hail the initiates !"
As they spoke, the members of The Inflatus assumed differ-
ent positions, mostly of a highly dramatic character, each ex-
tending his hand, in which was grasped a goblet or other
drinking vessel, toward Mr. Wontus. The movement was
sudden, and was not accomplished without considerable confu-
sion, which confusion brought Mr. Nidd to his feet, and startled
Mr. Wontus into an efi'ort to extricate himself from the cots.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. £25
and fly. A dozen hands were extended to prevent the con-
summation of the movement, but Mr. Nidd's long arms out-
reached the others, and ere Mr. Wontus could recover himself
^^idd had seized the demijohn and was pouring its contents
into the -oblets. Once filled, and before Mr. Wontus rightly
comprehended what had been done, the Grape Shot, m a
clear, ringing voice, sang a verse, commencing —
" List ! 'twill be well for thee !
List ! while I tell for thee
What magic spell for thee
I have in store."
At the conclusion of this, a chorus was sung, and the Morn-
ing Glory pronounced Messrs. Wontus and Nidd full-fledged
members and fellows of The Inflatus.
I do not exactly know why, at this particular moment,
^sop's Fables should come stealing before my mind's eye
like some fancy of my childhood, and yet so it is. I see now
the first picture, as I saw it many years ago in a little book
which I prized most highly. There are the boys, with frolic-
some innocence depicted on their faces, playing at marbles m
the shady path, with their kites, and bows, and arrows lying
by. I see a man, whose hair and beard have been frosted by
the hand of time, his tall and commanding form bending over
as he watches the game with keen interest. His forehead,
high and massive, bespeaks intellect, and his face wears the
lines of deep study, yet his eye is sparkling and bright, and
tells me that cultivation has not absorbed the nutriment which
dame Nature had planted in the system. See ! He stoops
and plays with the lads as gayly as the gayest one among them,
and their youthful happiness is rendered most complete by his
presence among them in their play. But another character
comes standing out upon the picture, and I hate him now as
I hated him years ago. The new-comer is a man of scrupulous
nicety in dress, and his features are rigid and severe. He
gazes for a moment in silence at the game, his lips curling with
a lofty look of mingled pity and scorn, and then he speaks to
the old man :
" I am surprised, sir, to see a man of your years and learn-
ing, to be thus playing with idle lads like these."
%e bends his haughty head, and the muscles of his face
seem to fall into the grooves already prepared to receive them.
226 wo XT us, OR
But hark ! The old man, with a chilulike smile on his lips,
has taken up the bow and arrows, and is speaking.
" Sir," he says, his voice low and musical, " do you see this
bow ? If it is kept strunc: and bent all the time, it soon loses
its elasticity, and is rendered unfit for use ; but if you will
unstring it every time you have done using it, and let it spring
back to its natural shape, when you come to use it again it
will possess all the elasticity and power of a new bow. So it
is with the human mind. Keep it strunir up and bent to
labor all the time, and it soon becomes worthless ; let it do its
work and then return to the shape in which He who doeth all
things well created it, and when it is called on to labor again
it, like the bow, is fresh and ready for the task." The man I
hate is silenced.
But wh}^ should this picture present itself to me just now ?
This question I have asked myself; but the answer is vague
and unsatisfactory. Can it be that I have pennitted my mind
to wander among the haunts of the money kings of the world ;
among the men whose very business seems to dictate a solemn,
or at least a serious, cast of countenance and demeanor ? It
must be that, for if not that, why should it occur to me that
the men who are here before me now are the men to whom
the future historian, and the patriot at home, are now look-
ing for that information so essential to their success and
happiness ? Pardon the digression.
" Two corps !" cried Mr. AVontus, as a goblet was handed
him. and Nidd filled it. " "We are now members of two corps."
And with this, he laughed most heartily, — not that he was par-
ticularly overjoyed with the fact of his being a member of two
corps, but because he felt that it was necessary for him to do
something to disabuse the minds of his new friends of anvlinaer-
ing doubt as to his courage and knowledge of men and things.
" It now becomes my duty," said the Falcon, " to announce
to you, as a past officer, that you are members of our circle,
with all the rights, privileges, and immunities thereunto be-
longing, and as such we now drink your good health, wishing
you every happiness and good fortune."
" Here's to our noble selves ! jNIay our shadows never grow
less !" And with this the company elevated their glasses and
drained them, — Nidd and Wontus joining in the ceremony, —
and at once proceeded to make themselves comfortable.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 227
"It's a comfort," said Nidd, wliispering to Mr. Wontus,
" to fall among gciitlcnien like these, — smart fellows !"
Mr. Wontus nodded, and was about to reply, when the voice
of the Morning Glory was heard above the buzz of conversa-
tion:
" The witching time of night," said he, " has come, when a
song is in order."
Voices. " Certainly ; a song ! A song, by all means !"
" And, if I mistake not, brethren of the mysterious scalp-
ing-knives, 'tis the Trumpet of Liberty s turn to sing."
"Hi! hi! the Trumpet of Liberty ! the Trumpet of Lib-
erty I Let the band play !" And all eyes were at once turned
toward the gentleman whose turn it was to sing.
" What shall I sing?" asked the gentleman, getting on his
legs and supporting himself by the door-frame, his eyes wander-
ing to the faces of his companions.
"I Dreamt that I Dwelt in Marble Halls," shouted the
Bantam.
" Why do Summer Roses Fade ?" cried the Eclio.
"Give it up!" said the Voice of Truth, as though a
conundrum hacl been propounded.
Then followed in quick succession the titles of a score of
other pieces. At last the voice of the Morning Glory de-
manded silence. The command being obeyed, he continued :
" Brethren of the gory locks, if I mistake not, the brother
promised at our last meeting to furnish the ' Song of The
Inflatus.'"
" Song of The Inflatus 1" A babel of voices demanded the
song.
" I've not written it yet !" cried the chosen singer.
" No matter ; sing it !" commanded the chairman. " Yes,
sing it. It must be sung, composed or not," demanded the
company. And there being no way of escape, the singer ex-
plained how necessary it was that all should join in the chorus,
which being fully understood, he commenced :
THE SONG OF THE INFLATUS.
Every day when all our work is done,
Good wine, we love good wine!
We assemble here and have great fun,
Good wine, we love good wine!
228 WOXTUS, OR
We indite strange things and history make,
We cause the globe to tremble and shake, —
And when we've done we're all awake.
And ready then our thirst to slake
With good wine !
Chorus. — We fight with lead and with steel,
Good wine, we love good wine!
And only 't beauty's shrine we kneel,
Good wine !
Unlike knights of old, as we are told,
Good wine, we love good wine !
We ask no fame but to make and mould,
Good wine, we love good wine!
We seek but little, but get much less :
We ask good wine our lives to bless;
We make much fame, that is, we guess,
For the men who love us, no more no less —
Than we love good wine !
Chorus.
When among ourselves we throw off the mask,
Good wine, we love good wine !
Which society makes us as a task, —
Good wine, we love good wine !
Wear to suit the tastes and days.
That like others we may have strange ways, —
At blinding those whose curious gaze
Would fathom the depths of future days, —
And partake of good wine !
Chorus.
Good fellows we love and will stand by.
Good wine, we love good wine !
Yes, we'll stand by them till the sea runs dry,
Good wine, we love good wine !
Then join in the chorus and make it ring.
For to be merry and jolly will always bring
A balm for every ache and sting
That may fall to the lot of this charmed ring,
While it sings of good wine !
Chorus.
As an exquisitelj-wroiiglit frame will make a picture appear
more beautiful, so too will the suiTOundings of an accident
often throw about the accident a charm, which, if seen under
different circumstances, would be insipid, — perhaps disgusting.
"We take it, therefore, that the shouts of applause and bravos
which rent the air at the conclusion of the song of the
Trumpet were induced more by the peculiar circumstances
under which it was rendered than by any noticeable merit
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 229
either in the song itself or the manner in which it was sung.
Yet it answered the purpose for which it was intended, and
the Trumpet was congratulated most heartily for his happy hit.
There was a sort of cloudy understanding in Mr. Wontus's
mind that the song was quite appropriate to the time and
place, and he therefore insisted on the singer partaking of the
contents of the demijohn. This suggestion was acted upon
not only by the singer himself but by the w. S^ company,
and Mr. Wontus was highly complimented by fii^ Morning
Glory ^ speaking in behalf of The Inflatus for his forethought
in producing, unasked, that which was so highly necessary in
the initiation of a new member, but which had generally to
be sent for on those occasions, owing to the want of a common
degree of understanding on the part of applicants for member-
ship. It occurred to Mr. Wontus that he had never made
any application ; but he rose to his feet and thanked the gen-
tlemen for their politeness and kindness.
Now, for a man to rise to his feet in a jovial company is
generally the signal for him to be called upon for something,
and in this instance loud calls were made for a song from
Wontus. As we already know, Mr. Wontus was not much
of a poetaster, but still less a songster ; and he was at a loss
to know what course to pursue, when his attention was at-
tracted to Mr. Nidd, who was giving to the Grape Sliot^ in
a loud voice, a sketch of a gentleman whom, from his descrip-
tion, Mr. Wontus recognized as Scribendi. For once in his
life a happy thought struck our hero, and, in the most glow-
ing terms that he could command, he referred to the superior
vocal qualities of his friend, and hoped the gentlemen would
excuse him, and allow Mr. Nidd to take his place.
It is probable that nothing would have persuaded Mr. Nidd
to sing had he been familiar with the manner in which he
had been selected ; but he was not, for he had been so com-
pletely absorbed in his conversation that hearing his name
pronounced by a dozen voices in chorus was the first intima-
tion he had of the matter.
There are two things which I desire to mention here : one
is, that while Mr. Nidd was generally very careful that he
should not make himself ridiculous in any respect, yet there
were times when he did become a little that way inclined ; the
other is, that I have never heard the jay-bird sing except in
20
230 WOXTUS, OR
the most distressing accents, and yet I firmly believe that this
bird is Mr. Nidd's superior as a songster.
The liquor had had its influence on -Mr. Nidd as on the
others, and those influences were plainly to be seen the mo-
ment he took the floor and begged the gentlemen to excuse
him : he never did sing ; he never knew a song in his life.
His voice was drowned in cries of " Nidd ! Nidd ! a song !
a song !" And seeing that nothing he could say would excuse
him, the gentleman cleared his voice, and commencing some-
where near high G, and gradually ascending, sang, in a minor
key, the
SOXG OF COLORS.
I won't wear the red any more, any more, —
I won't wear the red, Sally Jenkins, !
I won't wear the red, 'cause it's the color of my head.
Chorus. — Buy me the tally-ally-i,
Buy me the double-row-sariberry-sic-a-
Jinny-hey-green-gown-tally-i-brown-berry,
Sally Jenkins, !
I won't wear the yellow any more, any more, —
I won't wear the yellow, Sally Jenkins, 0!
I won't wear the yellow, 'cause it makes a cow bellow.
Chorns. — Buy me the tally-ally-i, etc.
I Avon't wear the gray any more, any more, —
I won't wear the gray, Sally Jenkins, !
I won't wear the gray, 'cause it's the color of the hay.
Chorus. — Buy me the tally-ally-i, etc.
It has been a long while ago since I saw on the stage the
representation of a wandering minstrel, who was supposed to
meander through the country (the scene was laid in England)
and perform in his own peculiar way on the clarionet ; and it
struck me at the time I witnessed the piece that the musical
talent, together with the tone of the instrument, would make
the minstrel a most valuable auxiliary to a private lunatic
asylum. The reason why I thought this was because I felt
sure that those who were compelled to listen to the tones of
the instrument, if not insane at the time, would soon become
so, and those who were suff'ering under temporary fits of the
malady would soon become incurable. I can only compare
Mr. Nidd's rendition of his song to that minstrel.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATIOX. 231
To even guess where the gentleman procured his song is
simply a m.itter which I number among the impossibilities.
It may have been the treasured recollections of childhood, or
it m ly have been anything else ; but whatever it was, it was
received with uproarious exclamations of delight by The In-
flatus, and the singer sat down amidst the most impressive
plaudits. Just at this juncture the other members, whom
the Morning Glory had referred to at an earlier stage of the
proceedings as being on the war-path, made their appearance
in the hall, and Wontus and Nidd were introduced. Now, on
the introduction of a gentleman or gentlemen to an assemblage
such as this, it is not, as a general thing, proper to give either
three or any other number of cheers; but Mr. Wontus, who
had, in common with the rest, indulged rather freely in the
contents of the demijohn, believed that it was incumbent
upon him as a new member to impress the new-comers with
the fact that he had not only been initiated but was a member
in the fullest meaning of the word.
" Three cheers for The Inflatus !" cried the gentleman,
placing the accent on the penultimate syllable of the noun,
and swinging his hat wildly about his head. The cheers were
given with a will, the members rising to their feet, and in the
commotion which followed, knocking the candles from their
places on the doorway, and leaving the party in darkness.
" Three more cheers !" shouted the voice of Mr. Wontus,
apparently undismayed by the loss of the candles. But the
cheers were not given. No ; there were no cheers, for the
war-path gentlemen, and by that I mean those who had just
put in an appearance, seemed to think that it was highly
necessary for them to make their presence manifest in some
way or another, and from that moment the atmosphere of the
hall of The Inflatus was sadly changed. The meeting had
evidently reached its climax ; and so deeply had Mr. Wontus
been impressed with the ceremonies up to this moment, that
he fmcied that that which was now transpiring was but a part
of the regular order of business, and hence enjoyed it most
heartily.
Cots, which before the lights were extinguished were stead-
fast and sober, now reeled and tumbled in all directions, while
beds and bedding, pillows and bolsters, flew through the dark-
ness in such profusion as to not only cff"ectually prevent the
232 WOXTUS, on
relighting of the candles, but to make a position on the floor
and perfect quietness the safest place within the hall. All
this Mr. Wontus devoutly believed was a part of the ceremo-
nies, and ensconcing himself in a recess he patiently awaited
the conclusion. Others were evidently awaiting the end, for
divers doore were opened along the hall and divers voices were
heard to use proftine language and shower maledictions upon
the heads of all concerned. It so happened that it was a
general officer's doorway that had served as shelter for our
hero, and it was by that officer that he was discovered during
the height of the melee.
" What are you doing there, you cursed rascal?" cried the
enraged officer, opening the door and looking at the form of
Mr. Wontus. whose outline could be indistinctly seen crouch-
ing against the wall.
" Sh-h-h !" whispered Wontus.
" What do you mean, sir ? I'll teach you to disturb people
in this style !"
" Hush !" whispered Mr. Wontus, soothingly ; '• it's not
over yet."
" Over yet !" screamed the enraged individual. " It uill
be over, and will be over with some of you, cui*se you, as soon
as I can find my pistols !" And saying this the form dis-
appeared.
Mr. Wontus had cultivated an abiding faith in The Inflatus
and its members, and having already seen a number of strange
things in his brief connection with the association, the lan-
g-uage of the enraged officer fell upon him like the singing of
some harmless insect.
3Ir. Nidd did not consider it soldier-like for him to desert
the party, although he felt like doing so at the commence-
ment of hostilities, and it would probably have been well had
he done so ; for not desiring to be an active participant in the
lively scenes that were transpiring about him, he was groping
his way along the hall, on his hands and knees, at the very
moment that the enraged and savage gentleman who had gone
for his pistols was making his way to the door. Now the light
which came from the candle in the back part of the officer's
room, and thence found its way through the open door to the
hall, was no sooner descried by Nidd than that gentleman
turned his course in that direction, with a full determination
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 233
to seek the hospitality of tlie owner of the room, and there
await the end of the exercises. Holding his head well down,
that he might shield his face from the missiles that were now
flying through the air in all directions, Mr. Nidd did not notice
either the form of Mr. Wontus or the enraged officer, who,
in shirt and drawers, with his pistols in hand, was just mak-
ing a rapid advance to the entrance of his room. The sill of
the door was reached; Mr. Wontus' s form had been avoided,
and Nidd was just about congratulating himself on his superior
good fortune, when one of those accidents occurred which so
frequently turn our most pleasant anticipations to the bitterest
disappointment. The whole affair had occupied but a few
moments, yet, short as it was, there w^as ample time for enough
to happen to make the condition of affairs most terrible.
Looking toward the darkness, the officer could not see Mr.
Nidd, and Mr. Nidd did not see the officer because he was not
looking for him, and thus it occurred that just as Nidd was
about assuming an upright position the officer reached the
same spot, and in a moment had first trod on Nidd's hand
and then went tumbling on him and prostrating Nidd at full
length on the floor, amid the most startling vociferation from
both parties.
The voices were strange to each other, and it was this ftict,
together with the hurt to his hand, that induced Mr. Nidd to
allow his pugnacity to rise, and to clinch with his antagonist.
AVhat followed this cannot be more accurately described than
to say that there was a severe struggle, and that during the
struggle between the enraged officer and Nidd, pistol-shots
were fired, and most alarming shouts rang out from the throat
of Mr. Wontus and others. The light in the officer's room
suddenly went out, and confusion was now confounded. Those
of the guests wdio were annoyed before were now horribly
alarmed ; and the occupants of the different rooms rushed out
into the hall, and as is customary, everybody asked everybody
else what was the matter without anybody being able to tell.
"What's the matter?' cried 3Ir. Galumpus, the landlord,
coming upon the scene in his drawers, with a light in his
hand, flanked by a numerous corps of servants. Light settles
a great many perplexing things in the world, and on this occa-
sion it no sooner made its appearance on the scene than a
meeker, milder, and more innocent-looking set of gentlemen
20^^
234 WOXTUS, OR
did not exist than the members of The Inflatus, and Gahimpus
received no answer to his query. A brief council between the
landlord and some of the «riic'Sts was now held, and it was
resolved to advance en masse to the scene of conflict in room
Xo. — . First came boniface with his lamp elevated above his
head, and then followed a line of servants, the membei-s of The
Inflatus and the guests making up the main bod}' and bring-
ing up the rear. Stealthily and cautiously the force advanced
until it reached the doorway, where it found 3Ir. AVontus flat
on his face and partially concealed by a cot. which he had evi-
dently endeavored to crawl beneath, but failed to achieve suc-
cess owing to his alderman ic proportions ; and here the party
halted until the Grape Shot came forward and generously
assisted the gentleman to his feet, and without further ceremony
escorted him to the rear of the hall.
The noise and confusion in the officer's room had ceased, and
nothing could now be heard but low groans and suppressed,
long-drawn breaths. Which one of the participants was dead?
"Who had been shot ? These thoughts, with visions of pools
and ninning streams of blood, ran through the minds of the
company, and the landlord elevated his light still higher, and
looked in. The room was in a condition of confusion, but no
blood met his eye. He advanced still farther, and at length
stood inside of the room. The suppressed breathing could
still be heard ; but where were the combatants ? No living
being could be seen except those who had entered with the
light. Of course everybody was in a quandary. Could the
battle have been like that between the Kilkenny cats, where
each participant is said to have swallowed his adversary, or
had the gentlemen thrown each other out of the window ?
" Let us look around,*' cried the Bantam, advancing to the
front line, and at once a search was instituted, which resulted
in the enraged officer being dragged from the recess of a
closet, and Mr. Xidd being fished from under the bed. The
assembled company had now found its way into the room, and
anxious inquiries were made by the friends of each as to the
exact amount of damage sustained by the participants. It was
found that neither gentleman had suffered any considerable
injury, although both were well-nigh exhausted. As the
gentlemen stood thus in the candle-light. Xidd glared at his
adversary, and his adversary returned the look with compound
THE CORPS OF OnSEErATION. 235
interest, and the scene was only brought to a conclusion by
the first named suddenly rushing through the crowd and out
of the house.
The officer soon after peremptorily ordered everybody from
the room, and then it was that search was instituted for the
person of Mr. Nidd. That individual was nowhere to be
found, however, and where he spent the balance of^ that most
eventful night is a mystery, which even Mr. Wontus has
never dared to undertake to solve.
CHAPTER XIX.
THE CORPS TAKES PASSAGE FOR THE FRONT — THOMAS
THOMSON MAKES STARTLING DISCLOSURES, AND WILKINS
IS DECLARED A CHAMPION.
No boat left for the North on the morning following the
initiation of Messrs. Wontus and Nidd into the mystic circle
of The Inflatus, and that alone prevented Nidd from immedi-
ately leaving for home. The terrible experiences of the day
and evening- before had left him without bodily injury, but his
feelings had been so deeply wounded that it was found utterly
impossible to soothe him. The wounds were deep, but their
very depth seemed to steel his nature against every influence.
He was desperate. He had spent the night no one knew
where, and he was proof against all inquiries. In his remarks
he was severe and caustic,"and while his face was unexprcssive
of anything except determination, yet the short, hysterical
bursts of laughter which occasionally came from his lips when
the proceedings of the night before were referred to, told of
the bitterness within.
A guest at the Hygeia, in those days, might make his break-
fast on the flattest and toughest of cakes, or his dinner on the
roundest of potatoes or dumplings ; yet, if he secured enough
to eat, and thereby satisfied the cravings of the moment, his
meal was always a '^ square" one. Quantity, rather tlu.n
quality, was the great desideratum, and it was no unccmmcn
thing for a man to boast of his having made a good square
23G WOXTUS, OR
meal on " tacks." By this he would not mean that he feasted
on a pound or so of tho.se flat-headed, sharp-pointed little
pieces of ironuionuery which we occasionally find in most in-
convenient places in our chambers. No, he meant a far dif-
ferent thing, and Mr. Wontus was delighted when he devel-
oped the fact that " tacks" were in reality not tacks at all, but
were a sort of bread or unleavened cracker, which had been
invented by some diabolically-inclined individual — who must
have been a dentist — for the special amusement of the men
who enlisted in the army.
By times the corps iissembled, Mr. Wilkins and Mr. Thom-
son looking as though their slumbers might have been a little
ruffled or disturbed ; Mr. Nidd as before described, and 3Ir.
AVontus flushed and nervous, but pacific. By dint of perse-
verance, and through the assistance of the Morning Glory
and others of The Inflatus, the corps was enabled to secure a
seat at the seventh table, and partake of flapjacks and coffee.
During the meal reference was made to the scenes of the night
before, which references, though vague, were nevertheless
noticed by Mr. Wilkins, and some inquiries made, which,
however, were Cjuickly silenced and disposed of by th« re-
proachful and warning frowns of Mr. Wontus.
'' A boat leaves here for somewhere this morning, does it
not?" queried Mr. Nidd of the Grape Shot, as he was about
leaving the table.
"Let me see," said the gentleman addressed. "Yes, I
think the Veteran leaves for the front at eleven o'clock."
There was silence for a few moments, Mr. Wontus consult-
ing his watch in the mean time.
" We'll go in that boat," he remarked, with determination.
Mr. Wontus made a reply, but what it was could not be
determined on account of the conversation which sprang up
among the members of The Inflatus concerning the terrible
sc-anes, the privations and dangers, which a man threw himself
into when he persisted in going to the front at this particular
time. The Bantam was especially horrifying in his descrip-
tion of affairs as they existed at Yorktown, and went so far as
to declare that he had seen with his own eyes dead men piled
up along the roadside like cordwood. Other accounts, as to
how strangers were treated by the army, were given by differ-
ent gentlemen, most of which were calculated to cause a man
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 237
to deliberate some before he ventured among the scenes de-
scribed. But if i]\Q stories were intended to influence Mr.
Nidd and cause him to abandon his determination, they fell
wide of their mark. He listened, but his eye never quivered,
nor did liis face indicate the slightest change in the character
of his feelings, and he left the room with" his usual dignity.
He was soon followed by the others, and after seeking the
privacy of the bridge crossing the moat in the shade of the
walls of the fort, a sort of council of war was held, during
which the question of leaving for the front at eleven o'clock
was discussed.
Mr. Nidd was not only positive as to the duty of the corps'
leaving for the front immediately, but he swore roundly that,
whether the others departed or not, he certainly would. Mr.
Wontus was rather undecided. Mr. Thomson opposed the move-
ment in the strongest terms, and Mr. Wilkins, while he was in-
clined to the opinion of Mr. Nidd, nevertheless feared so much
for the welfare of Mr. Wontus that he was inclined to think
INIr. Wontus's plan the best. He backed his opinion with
pieces of his own experience in the many campaigns throutih
which he had passed. But what he said had no "other influ-
ence than to induce Mr. Nidd to refer in glowing terms to
their magnificent and ample outfit, by the aid of which he
was sure everybody could be made as comfortable as at home.
The argument was unanswerable, and it was then and there
settled that the party should depart at eleven o'clock, to take
its place in the midst of the active operations in the field, in
its legitimate character as a corps of observation.
_ Some days before the departure of the corps from the pre-
cincts of Fortress Monroe, some fifty thousand men and nearly
one hundred field guns had left the same locality and marched
up the Peninsula. This Mr. Wontus knew ; this the whole
country knew; and both the country and Mr. Wontus were
correspondingly happy over the proposed immediate engulf-
ing of the sundry opposing forces, which had been rendering
the government and the people uneasy and unsettled for the
past year. It was just such an idea as this that came into
iMr. Wontus's head as he lent a hand in shipping the camp and
garrison equipage of the corps on the steamer Vetei^an at the
hour of eleven. The captain of the boat, as well as the pro-
vost-marshal, had questioned Mr. Wilkins concerning' the
238 WOXTCS, OR
r<Uher extra amount of bagprapre claimed by the corps, but Mr.
AVilkins so pathetically pictured the sufferings of the sick and
wounded, and so minutely described the many incidents in
which such things were useful, that he led them to believe
that the party was a sort of private sanitary commission, and,
with that undei-standing, the baggage was penuitted to pass
without further questioning.
The parting between Mr. Wontus and the members of The
Inflatus was mast affecting; but with Nidd a sigh of relief
escaped him as the machinery commenced to move and the
boat swung off from the pier. Of course, it cannot be exactly
known whether Mr. Nidd allowed the sigh of relief to escape
him on account of his not having either heard from or seen
his advei-sary of the night's adventure in the halls of The In-
flatus, or for some other cause. At any rate, he disajipeared
in the cabin the moment he saw the boat fairly started,
and, despite the persuasive influences of Mr. Wontus, he
remained there in a condition of solitude and consequent
quiet.
Wontus and the others stood on the deck and waved their
handkerchiefs at the walls of the fort until the Veteran rounded
the point and passed the huge piece of ordnance, whose muzzle
looked to him like the opening of a cavern. A shade c:ime
over ]\Ir. Wontus's face as he stood there, his eyes wandering
from point to }x>int and from form to form, which gradunlly
faded away in the distance. His features lengthened, and he
grasped a friendly stanchion for support. He believed that
he had considered every phase and consequence of his journey
before starting, but now that he was on the direct road to the
scene of active hostilities, with nothing between him and
death but the frail craft which rocked and trembled beneath
him, his thoughts were carried back to his cosy little parlor
at Mr. Diddler's, and all that was needed was a kind word to
cause the teai-s of sadness which came struggling up to the
surface from bubbling over. Had this occurred there would
have been relief, but it did not. Neither Mr. Thomson nor
Wilkins were concerning themselves about their master, and
the tears were forced back into the heart, there to linger and
evaporate at leisure. He was sad ; and yet what was there in
the world that he should care for, or would care for him ?
"What business have I here?" he asked himself; and then
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 239
anr^wcrcd the question by saying, " None at all. Suppose by
any untbrcsoen accident I should be killed, who is there to
shjil a tear over my grave ? Nobody ! And if I was killed,
the verdict would be, ' Served hiin right : he had no business
to be there.' "
As he thus soliloquized, he looked around at Thomas
Thomson, and wondered if that individual ever had such
thoughts as he had.
Oblivious to all this, Thomas Thomson sat contentedly on
the top of a pile of freight, and listlessly watched the loons
as they went winging their way along the surface of the water,
in their frantic efforts to clear themselves from the vicinity of
the noisy paddle-wheels of the vessel.
'' Come here, Thomas," said Mr. Wontus, after a time,
dropping into a chair.
Tommy obeyed, and took a seat by the side of his master,
while Benjamin Wilkins made his way to the pilot-house, for
the purpose, he remarked, of seeing that things went right in
the navigation of the vessel.
Left alone with Thomas, Mr. Wontus at once opened the
conversation.
" We are getting there fast," he remarked, turning his eyes
toward the shore.
Thomas did not appear to have 'a very distinct idea as to
what Mr. Wontus meant; therefore he merely answered,
" Yes, sir." And for a time there was silence.
" Thomas, you are seeing a great deal of the world," said
]Mr. Wontus, as though he was giving utterance to the thoughts
which had been passing through his head ; " you are seeing
a great deal of the world."
" Resume I am, sir."
" I often wonder, Tommy, if you ever had a care, — if there
is anything in your philosophy which at any time weighs on
your spirits, and brings them down to that zero of thought
which freezes the warm blood, and makes one almost wish
that they had never been."
Mr. Wontus waited for a reply; but Tommy's head was
turned away, and he looked troubled.
" Do you know what philosophy is ?" continued Mr. Wontus,
after a time, tapping his man's shoulder in a gentle, friendly
way. " Do you know it?"
240 WOXTVS, OR
^^It /" cried Mr. Thomson, suddenly turning to his master,
and speaking with visible agitiitiou ; " it's a site /"
It was now Mr. AVontus's turn to be surprised. "Why,
Tommy, my boy, what do you mean ?"
'' Mean, mean !" cried Thomas, as though his pent-up feel-
ings were about to burst forth against his will; " I have never
said nothin' about it, sir, but she's allers been in my head."
It was cool, and a fine breeze blowing from off the land,
but Tommy nevertheless found it necessary to make use of his
handkerchief, and Mr. Wontus was fairly amazed at the new
and unexpected turn of affairs.
" 1*11 tell you, sir," said Tommy, recovering himself, and
looking down at the deck. " I ought to of told you much
afore this, but since you've guessed mor'n half, why, I'll jist
tell you the rest."
" You're a fool!" cried Mr. Wontus. He was forgetting
his own reflections.
" Yes, sir, an' I'll tell you jist how it come about." Mr.
Thomson spoke with considerable vehemence. " You see,
Phillis — she had a red head, but she was one of the peartist
gals anyways round our neighborhood. Eveiy mornin' when
1 Wcis a-blackin' yer boots out in the yard, Phil used for to
come a-peepin' over the fence, — it's morn a year ago since she
first commenced it, — an' would holler boots an' make faces at
me. At first I didn't took no notice onto her, but one day I
told her I'd fling a brush at her if she didn't clear about her
business, an' then she hollered boots an' made faces woi-se
nor ever. I can't say I was mad, but next mornin' when she
come agin an' commenced her foolin', I jist heaved the shinin'
brush at her, an' the darn thing went over the fence into the
yard where she was a livin'."
Mr. Wontus was all attention, and wheeled his chair around
to have a better view of the villain who would shy a blacking
brush at a young lady, but as yet he was unable to compre-
hend what the man was getting at.
" i\.ssoon as I chucked the brush," continued Tommy, play-
ing nervously with the corners of his handkerchief, " I was
sorry, 'cause the boots was blacked but wasn't sliined, an' I
went an' I peeped through a crack in the fence, an' there
was the brush a-layin' in the yard, an' there wasn't a
soul about anywheres, so I jist jumped over the fence, au'
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 241
was a-comin' right back agin' without disturbiii' notliin', when
some man come out of tlie liouse an' grabbed me. lie said
I was a thief, an' was just agoin' to give me to the polices,
M'lien the gal as which I had shied the brush at come to us
an' swore that she was all of the fault of it, an' that 'air made
the man stop touchin' of me an' tell me for to go about my
business, an' I got over the fence agin an' went on a-blackin'
the boots."
" Well, what then ?'' asked Mr. Wontus, interestedly, as
Tommy ceased speaking and commenced twining his handker-
chief into a small, hard knot. " What then?' repeated Mr.
W'outus.
" Well, sir," continued the speaker, hesitatingly, " me an'
her used for to talk every mornin' after that. Sometimes,
when she wasn't there, I used for to wait for her, an' some-
times, wdien I wasn't there, she used for to wait for me ; an'
evenin's when you didn't want me. an' she hadn't nothin' to
do, I used for to go round to Third x\ venue, an' she'd be
a-comin' from the store or somewhere (Mr. Wontus sighed), an*
we'd meet an' have a little chat. I couldn't get it out of my
head how she tooket all the blame on to her ownself when I
was in her boss's yard, an' every time I come neerd her I felt
closer an' closer ; but I never felted as how she was so clost
to me as since we've been away from New York on this here
corps of observation."
Here the speaker fairly broke down. Big tears came into
his eyes, and as he wiped them away with the sleeves of his
coat, he looked so beseechingly into Mr. Wontus's face that it
w^as with difficulty that that gentleman refrained from shedding
tears himself.
Both master and man sat for a time in silence, but Mr.
Wontus soon found his tongue, because he believed it necessary
for him to show Mr. Thomson that such conduct could not
be repeated vrith impunity.
" Well, sir," said he, " who was this young woman ? Tell
me her name, I command you, that I may write to her parents
and acquaint them with her unladylike conduct."
"She ain't got no parents, sir," interrupted Tommy.
" No matter, sir," cried Mr. Wontus, assuming a manner
which he certainly did not feel ; " what was or is her name ?"
" Phillis," said Mr. Thomson, meekly.
L 21
g42 WOXTUS, OR
" Her other name?"
"Offley."
"Phillis Offley, then, is her name, is it?' demanded Mr.
Wontus.
" Yes, sir ; Phillis Offley."
" Ha ! ha ! ha !" laughed Mr. Wontus, it just now occurring
to him how he had come to unearth this most inmost secret
of his sen'ant's heart ; and he smacked his knees with his
liands and laughed until his face was as red as Mr. Thomas's
handkerchief. '' Ha ! ha ! ha ! This is too good, — too rich.
Where is Nidd ? Where is somebody that can enjoy this with
me ?" And he turned round in his chair and looked about ;
but they were alone, and he continued to laugh most heartily,
while Thomas Thomson looked on demurely, not knowing
whether it was becoming in him to laugh or cry.
-' Tommy. Tommy, my boy, you did very wrong." And
here Mr. Wontus laughed more than ever. " Yet it was all
wrong to keep such things from me ; but then I knew nothing
of the matter, and it would have done no particular harm —
since we are away from there — if I had never found it out.
But I did not ask you anything about that. I asked you if
there was anything in jouy philosophy, — not Phillis Offley.' -
And here the gentleman went into another fit of laughing,
while Thomas commenced undoing the complicated knots in
his handkerchief, his flice wearing an expression of indecision.
A full and complete explanation from Wontus, together with
sundry hints of a pleasant nature, soon put Thomas Thomson
in a more comfortable mood, and the elder having evidently
turned his attention to more absorbing questions, both gentle-
men found themselves more pleasantly situated than either
expected when the conversation commenced. As a single sun-
beam will brighten the gloomiest day. so the little accident in
which misunderstanding and Thomas Thomson were promi-
nently mixed, served to brighten Mr. Wontus's thoughts, and
here we leave them to their enjoyment, and turn our attention
to the other members of the party.
Mr. Wilkins had proceeded to the pilot-house, as is the cus-
tom of traveled people, at the opening of the conversation be-
tween his employer and Mr. Thomson, that he should engage
in conversation with the pilot there can be no question, for at
the moment we take him up we find that gentleman (the pilot)
THE CORPS OF observation: ' 243
evidently endeavoring to outstrip Mr. Wilkins in the relation
of a story, the concluding portion of which is all that finds a
place hero.
" You see," remarked the pilot, giving the wheel a vigorous
turn, " we had just passed around Hatteras, and commenced
to think that we were to escape our usual dose of storm, when
Tim Brown, one of the best men that ever shook out a sail or
hove an anchor, sang out, ' A blow !' AVe were sliding oflf
before a good, stiff breeze, with every rag of canvas set, and as
soon as we heard Tim's voice every man was looking out, sure
enough. I was at the wheel at the time, and the captain was
standing in the waist. I couldn't see anything, and was just
about telling the captain so, when he guessed my thoughts and
pointed off to leeward. I looked, and at first could scarcely
believe my eyes, for right there, cutting clean athwart the wind,
was the blackest and most threatening cloud I most ever saw,
and it was coming to us like a flash of lightning. It was singular ;
it was unaccountable ; but there was no mistaking it, and orders
were immediately given to take in sail. The men jumped to
the work lively, but it was of no use, for before they could get
in a rag, the biggest cloud of mosquitoes went over us that
mortal man ever set eyes on." (Mr. Wilkins elevated his eye-
brows.) " Yes, sir ; the storm was nothing more than a cloud
of mosquitoes. Well, for awhile they made the day as dark
as night, and when they had all passed over and the daylight
shone again there wasn't the first patch of canvas left on the
spars. The infernal things had stripped us, and left the masts
as bare as a dead tree,"
The pilot turned to his wheel again as he finished speaking,
and Mr. Wilkins stood looking in the window. His face wore
a puzzled air ; and it was some time ere the silence was broken,
except by the clanking of the rudder-chains.
"It was late in the month of August, wasn't it?" said
Wilkins, in mild mjitter-of-fact manner.
" About the twenty-ninth," replied the pilot.
In a moment Mr. Wilkins's manner changed, and with a
smile on his lips he extended his hand toward his companion,
and said :
" Your hand, mate. I've been wantin' for years to meet a
man that was aboard that ship. I recollect the occasion jist
as well as if it was yesterday."
24:4: WOXTUS, OB
"You do?" interrupted the pilot in ill-concealed astonish-
ment.
" Yes, siree, I do !"
" How's that?" The pilot knew that Jie did not remember
either the accident or the day, and further than that he did
not believe that any other mortal man ever remembered seeing
such a thing, or that such a thing ever had existence in the
world.
" Well, you see," said Wilkins, without paying any atten-
tion to the manner of his companion, " I'll tell you jist how-
somever it was, — I recollect it jist as if it was yesterday. We
must have been dead to leeward of your ship about twenty
miles, I guess, when that same cloud made its appearance. I
know'd what it was the minute I clapped my eyes on it, so I
jist told the boys to look out for their eyes and not git
skeered. Well, sir, they come right along and went skimmin'
over us like the wind. I see right away that they'd been to
some other ship, so I jist laughed and kept shady."
" Did none of them stop ?" queried the pilot, with assumed
carelessness, as Mr. Wilkins ceased speaking.
" Oh, yes ; one or two of 'em couldn't go no fiirther, and
they stopped, but most of 'em went on. It was a thunderin'
gist of 'em, wasn't it?"
The pilot thus appealed to replied that it was, but looked
nonplused. After a time, however, he asked Wilkins how
he knew that the mosquitoes had visited another ship before
calling on him.
" I knowed," replied Wilkins, complacently, " because each
one of 'em wore canvas trousers, and a good sprinklin' of 'em
carried with 'em travelin' bags made out of new sailcloth."
The pilot looked at Wilkins and Wilkins looked at the
pilot. Neither spoke for some moments. The pilot felt that
he was defeated, and Mr. Wilkins was sure that he had gained
a victory.
" Stranger," remarked the pilot at length, " for twenty
years I've had a reputation among watennen of being able to
outlie any man that trod a plank, but I give it up ; yes, sir, I
relinquish all claim to the championship, and if you will only
accept my knife, you will do me a great favor. You won it
fair, by thunder !"
" Sir," remarked Wilkins, after a pause, •' I lay no claim to
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 245
tellin' lies, and I don't want your knife." And saying this he
cast a look of injured innocence at the pilot, and walked out
of the pilot-house.
i\lr. Nidd was still in the cr.bin. The beautiful sunshine
and the fresh, salt air had no charms for him. His thounhts
were far away, wandering among the elysian groves of fancy.
His face was grave and serious, with occasional flashes of sun-
shine. These flashes always accompanied pictures in which
the lovely Mrs. Squirm stood out in bold relief. The clouds
which followed them were brought there by Edward Pason
Montcalm Higginson, whose face always would come in and
darken the brightest dreams.
There was a'peculiar sort of tact about Mr. Nidd, which I
scarcely know whether to admire or condemn. I do not think
that he lacked courage, and yet I know that, despite his best
efforts to be the contrary, he was terribly afraid of his thoughts.
He seemed to belong to that peculiar class of people who
were always treasuring and bringing forward the darkest and
most disagreeable incidents in their past life, while the bright
ones were hidden away. It was a part of his life to keep this
fiict from the knowledge of a curious world, and often, when
he was troubled most at heart, his animal spirits fiiirly eff"er-
vesced, and it was in this concealment that his tact was of
value. I have always believed that he was excessively sensi-
tive. Not that he ever betrayed any particular outward show
of his feelings, but because I have always noticed that an
accident wherein he was worsted was invariably followed by a
condition of despondency, which in turn was followed by ex-
citement superinduced by liquor or other artificial means.
Sometimes this excitement would be of a boisterous character ;
at others it was nothing more than careless stubbornness. He
was careless and stubborn now.
21*
246 WOXTCS, OR
CHAPTER XX.
ON TO RICHMOND THE CORPS AT THE FRONT — MR. WON-
TUS BUYS A RELIC, AND WILKINS MAKES HIS FIRST
FAILURE.
For nearly a year the city of Richmond had been the grand
point upon which the attention of all the people of the land
had been riveted. With the men in the field, whose
months of weariness and exposure had commenced to make
them careless as to danger or destination, all places were alike;
but to those who rested from the toils of the day beneath the
shade of their leafy vines, or toasted their toes before the
glowing grate, and were surrounded by peace, plenty, and
happiness, the cry came forth, " (3n to Richmond !"
Ten thousand throats spread it to the breeze, and ten times
ten thousand echoed it, until the very trees seemed to say
'•On to Richmond!" Those mercuries of public opinion
which come silently stealing to our side at the breakfast-table
had wafted the cry upon the genial spring air. and now the
aiTny was again in motion. Again, did I say? Yes, again.
For three long, weary months naught had been heard save
the monotonous, plaintive cry, " All quiet on the Potomac !"
Ah, well may I say they were weary months. How many
weeping mothers and anxious friends listened day after day,
and wondered how, amid the storms of snow and sleet, with
nothing save their canvas tents between them and the storm
without, some loved one was resting wrapped in his blanket*
of uncertain warmth ! But it was over now. The grand
ai*my of the Potomac was in motion, and a new feeling came
to the hearts of the people and a new look to their ej'es.
Even the army itself assumed a new life. The odd mixture
of g^yety and misery consequent to winter quarters in the
field was forgotten, and joy beamed from the faces of men
who confronted death in all its varied and horrible shapes at
every step.
Mr. Wontus was always perfectly .=;ure that when once the
THE CORPS OF observation: 247
army commenced- the forward movement it would keep steadily
on until it possessed the capital of the Confederacy.
He had been standing alone gazing at the shore for some
moments, when he discovered that the Veteran had suddenly
made its way up a little inlet, and was just then being made
fast to one of the numerous canal barges which had been used
in transporting material for the army, but was now fast in the
mud and serving as wharfage for the transports.
"What place is this?" he asked of the captain, as that
officer walked by him.
" Cheesman's Creek ; your destination, sir. You can go no
farther by water." The officer had more than answered the
question.
Exactly how fir, in miles, Cheesman's Creek is from York-
town I am unable to say, but I know that it cannot be very
far, and I have two reasons for the assertion. First, because
the booming of the guns which were hurling their iron hail
into the town could be distinctly heard at the creek ; and
second, because it was one of the principal depots of sup-
plies. I cannot say that there was anything either enticing
or beautiful about the place, for there was little for the eye to
rest on but shimmering sand and rank vegetation, with a back-
ground of tall, straight pine-trees, whose very regularity was
wearisome to look at. Outward, looking toward the broad
waters of the bay, w^ere the ojster-beds, with their bounds
fairly marked out to the eye by the rows of tall stakes which
swayed and bent with the heaving of the waters ; and this was
all ; this completed the picture.
Mr. Wontus thought that it was a masterly idea on the part
of General McClellan when he ordered the provisional division
of Franklin into this inlet, there to remain on board the trans-
ports, and wait the moment that the enemy should be driven
from his stronghold, and then pounce upon him by sailing up
the river, disembarking, and throwing the division across his
path, thus placing him between two forces, one of which was
on his only line of retreat ; and he only ceased to admire it
when the boat was tied up.
It was some time before ^Ir. AVontus could induce Nidd to
come out of the cabin ; and when he did come out, it was evi-
dent that his meditations had not improved his disposition *
and I think now that the corps, after having taken a view of
248 WOXTUS, OR
the surroundings, -would as lief have remained on board the
Vetercni ; in fact, Mr. Wilkins hinted, distantly of course, that
even the Hygeia, with all its distressing circumstances cluster-
ing about it, was preferable to the comforts that could be had
among the sands and pines which surrounded them now. Mr.
Wontus's face wore a dubious expression, and it was only after
the pilot — who had guessed the state of affairs — had twitted
them severely that the gentlemen made their way down the
gang-plank to the deck of one of the barges. The baggage
had preceded them, and a good portion of it was already un-
dergoing a minute inspection in the hands of a squad of
soldiers. It was quite a long while before the united elo-
quence of Wontus and Wilkins could persuade the men that
the mass of stuff was private property ; but it was done after
a time, and ere Mr. Wontus was fully aware of what was
going on, Nidd had departed, and was out of sight, while
Thomson and Wilkins were busy in giving the men who sur-
rounded them the latest news from home.
Wontus never for a moment believed that he was at all likely
to be killed in the course of his observation in the army. He
argued that as he had simply come into the field to see and
render such assistance to the sick and wounded as he was able,
there was no reason, that he could see, why even so much as
a chance shot should come anywhere near him. In brief, he
had no thought but that he would soon be on his way back to
the latitude of Washington. With this idea firmly fixed in
his mind, he was determined that when he did return he would
carry with him such trophies and relics as would be indubitable
evidence of his having been among the scenes which he intended
to describe to his circle of friends at home. In this our hero
was no exception to the rule, for of all the people who visited
the troops in the field, scarcely more than one in every hun-
dred returned home without carrying — or endeavoring to carry
— with him some relic of the place he had visited. It was
a sort of disease, and as Mr. Wontus could not be expected
to escape its influences, I shall proceed to relate his experi-
ence.
" How do you like it here ?" he asked of one of the soldiers
who stood near him. The soldier replied, laughingly, that he
supposed that it didn't make much difference whether he liked
it or not, he would have to stay.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATIOX. 249
" It's pretty warm," continued Woutus, cheerily, by way of
continuing the conversation.
" Well, yes," replied the man ; "but not so warm as I've seen
it."
"Ah!" ejaculated Wontus; "been fighting, perliaps?"
" Some," said the soldier, laconically ; " took a little of Bull
Eun, Rich Mountain, and 'round Manassas."
" You don't tell me ! and — and unhurt?"
" Got a little one in the thigh, and lost a chunk of this ear,"
continued the soldier, pointing to his wounds.
" How wonderful !" soliloquized Mr. Wontus. And then turn-
ing to the soldier, and speaking aloud, he asked if it was pos-
sible for him to secure some relic from some one of the men
who had passed through so much.
" Why, certainly," replied the soldier, showing a much
greater interest in the conversation than he had heretofore done.
" Certainly ; I've some myself, and I know others who wouldn't
part with some of the relics they've got for anything in the
world."
" I don't like to trouble you, sir," said Mr. Wontus, after a
pause, " but I presume this would be a good place for me to
secure some little mementos ; could I see some of these things?"
" Of course," replied the soldier. " It's no trouble at all.
Just wait here a moment and I'll fetch some to you." Say-
ing this, the man turned quickly away, and in a few moments
more was lost among the tents of the camp.
Wilkins and Tommy were carrying the baggage ashore, and
Mr. Wontus found himself alone ; that is to say, that although
there were in the immediate vicinity thousands of men, yet of
all these there was none that he could call a friend or even an
acquaintance. Yet he smiled as he looked about him and en-
deavored to make himself think the horrors of war were
visionary, for on every side soldiers could be seen enjoying
themselves as best suited their fimcy. Idleness seemed to be
the rule, and our hero said to himself that it was no wonder
that there was nothing done since nobody appeared to have
anything to do. While he stood thinking, the soldier came
toward him, carrying in his arms a heterogeneous mass of
cannon rammers, belts, hats, shoes, and what not. As the man
drew near Mr. W^ontus's eyes brightened, and he advanced to
meet him. " You've got them," said he, pleasantly.
250 WOXTUS, OR
The soldier was nearly out of breath, but as he tossed the
relics on the ground, he managed to say that he had got them,
and that he had had considerable trouble in doing it, as they
were growing ver}' scarce.
" 2sow," Said AVontus, as he examined the stuff before him,
'' you must tell me about these things, — each one has an in-
teresting and eventful history, I've no doubt."
" This," said the soldier, taking up a somewhat dilapidated
shoe, which bore unmistakable evidences of having been but
recently taken from the foot of the owner, " is the only relic
in the country of a most remarkable event."
" Ah !" exclaimed our hero, examining the shoe critically.
" Yes, sir," continued the man ; " it was once the property
of a gentleman named Eussell. and was lost by him while
skedaddling from the field at Bull Run."
" Russelt? — Eussell?" said Mr. Wontus. '• I don't remem-
ber any general by that name."
" He wasn't a general," replied the soldier, "he was the
correspondent of a London newspaper."
" Yes, yes," cried Wontus. "I do remember now. I read
his vivid description of the battle you speak of in one of the
papers. And this is one of his shoes, lost in scampering
away from the battle-field. He must have been going very
fast?" Mr. Wontus spoke interestedly, and seemed deeply
absorbed.
"Fasti" said the soldier, " going fiist ! You just bet he
was. He hadn't time to pick up his shoe, and as I was stand-
ing by, and thought perhaps this was about the only thing
about him that I'd ever see again, I picked it up, and have
carried it ever since."
" What will you take for it ?" demanded Wontus. " It ?s
a relic, — a treasure." His patriotic feelings had been roused,
and when he remembered how disrespectfully the reputed
owner of the shoe had spoken of the government, he was de-
termined to have the relic at any price. " What will you
take for it ?" he repeated.
" I don't care about, selling it," said the man, doggedly.
" I'll give you five dollars for it," cried Wontus, toying
with the shoe, and looking covetous.
" I don't care about "
" ril give you ten dollars for it," interrupted Wontus.
THE CORPS OF OIlHEllVATION. 251
"I've carried it so long,'' said the man, regretfully, ''that
really I don't care about "
" Here's four (juarter eagles !" cried Mr. Wontus, shaking
the gold in his extended hand.
" Well," said the soldier after a time, and heaving a deep
sigh, as though he was making a terrible sacrifice, " you're a
clever sort of a man, and I'll let you have it, — providing," he
continued, as Mr. Wontus was about speaking, " that you let
me have it back again in case I live to get home."
This Mr. Wontus agreed to, and the money was deposited
in the soldier's pocket. " Do you want any of the other
things?" he asked, looking cautiously around.
Mr. Wontus believed not, — at least not at present ; and
while he still stood examining his prize, the soldier quietly
withdrew and disappeared.
" Why, he's left all his relics here," said Mr. Wontus, no-
ticing that the soldier was gone, and that the rammers, belts,
and so on were still lying before him on the ground. " He
knows he need have no fear of me," continued the gentleman,
proudly. And then, after some reflection and inquiry, it
occurred to him that he might have been swindled. The
soldier did not return for the relics which he had left on the
ground, and this fact, as much as anything else, convinced
Wontus that his purchase was valueless, — that the whole story
was a fraud, and that he had been swindled. What would
Nidd and the others say if they knew he had been deceived
by such a transparent trick ? He would never mention it !
And he solaced himself with the belief that after all he was
probably better ofi" than most relic-hunters, and with a sigh
he cast his treasure from him into the water at his feet.
The afternoon had nearly passed before the other members
of the party made their appearance, and preparations were
made for the first camp. It was wonderful. A sandy knoll
had been selected, and Wontus, Wilkins, and Thomson were
busy, under the superintendence of the second-named gentle-
man, in hunting out the diiferent articles necessary for the
formation of the camp. With a knowledge that he would be
expected to superintend the raising of the tents, Wilkins had
wandered among the camps which surrounded him, and had
so far conquered the mysteries about a tent, as to know that
poles, pins, and cordage were necessary to make one of them
'lo'l
WON TVS, OR
stand upright. This knowledge he put to the best possible
use b^' standing by and issuing directions as to where each
article should be laid, preparatory to the putting up of the
tent.
I have strongly intimated before that the varied experi-
ences of Benjamin Wilkins, as narrated by himself, had about
them, to say the least, the strong element of fiction ; but now
that he is so profuse in his orders and masterly inactive in
every other respect, I have come to the conclusion that the
gentleman was either entirely inexperienced or that his mem-
ory was extraordinarily faulty. Charitably accepting the
latter as the real cause of his singular conduct, let me leave
my speculations and proceed at once to describe the corps' first
experience at the front.
I have noticed, and so have others, I suppose, that whenever
the sun once commences to go down he goes duwn much
faster than is agreeable, if you have anything which you wish
to complete before he takes his departure. "Well, this was
exactly the case on the evening of our friends' arrival at
Cheesman's Creek.
Nidd, more sullen and uncommunicative than we (I always
mean the reader and myself) have seen him of late, sat facing
the water, with his back supported by a tree. He took no
part in the scenes that were transpiring about him, nor did he
offer a word of remonstrance or advice. Wontus was most
active, and with a view of stimulating the other members of
the party, his manner was calm and cheerful. Thomas
Thomson had scarceh^ compreheuded the new life which was
spread before him, and being subject to the orders of Mr.
Wilkins and the suggestions of Mr. Wontus, his time, I may
say, was fairly occupied.
" When I was in the Crimea,'" remarked Mr. Wilkins. with
a faint shadow of doubt on his face, " our tents were pitched
in this way." And as he spoke he thrust a ridge-pole into one
of the large tents, and raised the end from the ground. Once
having the tent in an upright position, he held it there, and
then followed such a multitude of directions as to what should
be done next, that both Mr. Wontus and Thomson bathed
themselves in perspiration in their efforts to execute all the
orders. But it was of no use. and with complaints long and
deep showered on the head of the manufacturer, Mr. AVilkins
THE CORPS OF OBSEEVATION. 253
finally gave all to understand that all the poles, and eveiy-
tlung else, in fact, had been made for some other tent, and
that the gentlemen would be compelled to wait until he Qould
procure new fixtures. When this came to be perfectly under-
stood, Mr. Wontus was really a sad picture. Was there no
house near in which he could shelter himself from the chillin-
night air which came fresh from the sea? He would be coii^
tent without a bed if he only had a roof to cover him. He
scanned the country in every direction, but nothing wearing
the semblance of a house met his eyes. He had walked to
where Mr. Nidd was sitting, and the sun went down as he did
so. His lips parted as if he would speak, but just then there
came up from the neighboring camps a sound which filled the
air like sweet perfume, and made even Mr. Nidd raise his
head and look about.
It was "retreat," and as the soft music came floating on
the stillness of the evening, and echoing again and a'n'ain
among the pines, Mr. Wontus felt a thrill of melancholy come
stealing into his heart, and he gazed in deep abstraction to-
ward the snowy canvas city. By-and-by, as the sweet, flimiliar
air of '' Home, Sweet Home" brought strange fancies before
him, like some shadow of the past, he rested against the tree,
and a bright, sparkling tear came to his eyes. It was sad!
very sad, and I have seen tears gathering into t\iQ eyes of
men, on like occasions, whose eyes had never felt the moisture
of a tear since childhood's hour.
The cun-ent of Mr. W^ontus's thoughts was changed. When
he first walked toward Nidd, it was with the evident intention
of complaining of the conduct of Benjamin Wilkins ; but now
his heart was melted, and it was only with some eff"ort that he
was enabled to direct his men to spread the tents out on the
ground and prepare some supper.
The first meal in the field came in for the stronirest con-
demnation of Mr. Nidd's strong language, and he wSit so far
as to hope that the enemy would come in the night and carry
all of them to Richmond as prisoners. In vain the other mem-
bers of the corps essayed to suit him. There was nothino-
right, and ere darkness had fairly settled down upon the camp
Mr. Nidd had rolled himself up in one of the tents and lay
on the ground, the semblance of a newly-preserved mummy
With the going down of the sun the wind freshened, and
12
254 WOXTUS, OR
ere " taps" had sounded in the canvas city Mr. "Wontus was
chilled to the bone. He had ordered Thomson and Wilkins
not to leave the immediate precincts of the camp, and now the
three gentlemen sat looking at the camp-fires which sparkled
and flashed in the distance, and wished, among other things,
that they too miuht have a fire. But this Mr. Wontus would
not hear to. His ideas of military life were peculiar concern-
ing discipline, and he almost feared to move lest by some mis-
hap or misunderstanding he might be shot down as a lurking
spy or murderer.
Thus he sat as the night wore on, his thoughts busy with
the past, present, and the future. The memories of the past
were tinged with a brightness reflective of purity and happi-
ness ; and he lingered among them as one is apt to do when
viewing the paintings of a master. He traced himself step
by step from childhood up, and there came up before him the
likeness of It, — she whom he had so tenderly cared for in
Washington. He dismissed this thought as quickly as he
could, and then looked out upon the future. It was blank and
void, and while he sat trying to gaze into the maze of dark-
ness, he instinctively gathered his wrappings, and, pulling the
folds of the tent about him, sank into a peaceful sleep.
CHAPTER XXI.
CORPS TO TORKTOWX.
Mr. Wontus was astonished when he awoke in the morn-
ing and found that he had slept through the din of reveille,
and that now the sun and a score of idle, curious soldiers were
looking down upon him with more intent than was agreeable.
At first he was at a loss to comprehend his situation, but when
he put his hand out from beneath the tent and felt the cold
moisture which had collected on the canvas during his slum-
bar, his mind appeared to take in the situation, and he com-
menced feeling his limbs as if to assure himself that no part
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION: 255
of him had mysteriously disappeared in the niii'ht. The gen-
tleman first raised his head and glanced around him, and then
rose up to a sitting posture and rubbed his eyes with his
knuckles. He had been performing this interesting and highly
necessary operation some moments, when," glancing toward the
water, his attention was at once riveted upon an object which
he saw there.
Even now I can go to the ornithological museum and find
no little pleasure in gazing at that strange, fmtastic bird called
the stork. His long, lank, greenish-yellow legs are to me the
most astonishing part of his general make up, and I have often
asked myself, when T saw the specimen wading through the
shallow water, whether there was anything in the human
family which resembled it. The same thought might have
occurred to Mr. AVontus, for when his gaze first met the object
which had caused him to cease rubbing his eyes and look
with so much attention upon one spot, he was in some doubt
whether the object belonged to the family Ardeinse, of colossal
proportions, or whether it was really a human being. It was
Gascon Nidd.
The rattling of drums and the blowing of bugles had
aroused Mr. Nidd at the break of day, and he had shook the
dampness from off his coverings and immediately arisen. His
first desire was to wash himself, and as there was no way of
reaching the water except over the muddy banks, he had
divested himself of his habiliments, except his red flannel
drawers and shirt, and was now floundering through the ooze
in search of some path by which he might return to dry land
without taking with him such vast quantities of the mud as
would persist in sticking to him. It was no wonder that
Wontus was surprised, for Mr. Nidd's long legs and slim body,
encased in tight-fitting red flannel, to which were added the
long, swinging arms and hatless head, were enough to make
even the natives of the region (if there were any) believe that
he was some singular nondescript who had suddenly dropped
among them from the clouds.
The gentleman in red flannel was still smarting under other
wounds, to which the new dilemma certainly added no salve.
The more he lifted his bare feet from the mud and endeavored
to lighten himself by sundry contortions of the body, the more
his feet would sink into it. Desperation finally induced him
256 WOXTUS, OB
to walk boldly forth, carrying with him everything that dis-
played a practical desire to cultivate so close an acquaintance
as to stick to him. What he said to Mr. "Wontus on drawing
near that gentleman was of so forcible a character as to induce
our hero to rise without delay and close his eai-s with las
hands.
The breakfiist which followed the first niuht in the field
was not what might be called a very luxurious one ; in fact,
the corps, while it was provided witli almost everything else,
was without a mouthful of provisions, and had it not been ftir
the persuasive abilities of Mr. Wilkins and the generosity of
some of the soldiers, it is probable that the party would have
had no breakfast at all. As it was, cofi'ee, which Mr. Wontus
declared wasn't fit for swine, and a few "hard-tacks" were
partaken of. and then a council was held as to the next move-
ment. There were just as many different opinions as there
were men. Wontus insisted on pushing on fiirther into the
field ; Xidd would go to Philadelphia or New York ; Thomson
would prefer New York, and Wilkins thought that more could
be seen in Washington than anywhere else. The arguments
jjro and con were strong and seductive ; but. to the utter sur-
prise of everybody, Mr. Wontus ended the matter by declaring
that the other gentlemen could desert him if they pleased, but
for himself, he had started out with a purpose, and he would
not return until he had fulfilled it.
Thomas Thomson was the first to declare his intention to
stand by Mr. Wontus, and after him came Wilkins. with the
strongest asseverations that he had never had any other desire
or intention than to stand by Mr. Wontus, anywhere and
everywhere, at all times. Nidd never quit his ground for a
moment, but it was plainly evident that while he differed from
the othei-s yet he was willing to abide by the will of the
majority. It was a victory for Mr. Wontus, and cur hero
knew it and felt it, and preparations were at once made for the
onward march.
But now a new dilemma presented itself. Here was baggage
enough to fill a wagon, but no wagon. Hundreds of wagons
were constantly passing and repassing, but it was only after
gi-eat trouble that a bargain was finally struck with one of the
teamsters, and the baggage loaded, with ]\lr. Wilkins detailed
as guard.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 257
The marcli to Yorktown was enjoyable to Mr. Wontus, for
he chatted cheerfully with the soldiers that he met by the
way ; but by the time the party emerged from the pines into
the rather pleasant fields in the rear of the right wing of the
besieging army, Mr. Nidd was footsore and miserable. His
feet had suffered considerable injury on account of the mud
which had found its way into his shoes in the morning, and
he looked vexed.
Once among the scenes of active hostilities, the gentlemen
selected a comfortable spot by the side of the road, and awaited
the arrival of the baggage, and amid the speculations and
scenes which followed even Nidd forgot his misfortunes and
became talkative, and Mr. Wontus was social and highly good-
humored.
Noon came ; but Wilkins and the baggage did not. The
gentlemen had partially fasted at breakfast, and bid fair to
repeat the ceremony at dinner. They wondered where Mr.
Wilkins could be, but there was so much to see that it was
not until late in the afternoon that the growlings of hunger
bid them make the acquaintance of somebody who could tell
them where something eatable might be had. The first man
questioned on this important subject gazed at them a moment
in astonishment, and then bobbed his head to one side and
passed on. The question was a failure. Mr. Nidd now took
the matter into his hands, and without further ado walked up
to a squad of soldiers and entered into conversation. When
he returned he had not only the information as to wlxere
something to eat might be had, but also had a verbal bill of
fare, and geographical directions for finding the purveyor.
No time was lost in following the leadership of Nidd, and ere
many minutes had passed Thomas Thomson was freighted
with a goodly quantity of food, among which the article
cheese figured most prominently.
During the afternoon, the sullen roar of the siege pieces
and mortars which were then being mounted with a view of
reducing the rebel stronghold, and the constant marching and
countermarching of soldiers, gave the corps sufficient excite-
ment to enable its members to pass the hours pleasantly.
Everything was neat and orderly, and but for the stacks of
muskets which stood like bristling, closely-cropped hedges in
the streets, many of the regimental camps might readily have
22-^
258 wo\Tr.<^, OR
been taken for the bivouac of an extensive picnic-party. The
men who were on duty were hidden from view by the woods
just beyond the lino of tents, while those who had gone
through their share of the toil and danger in the saps on the
night before sauntered about and talked of the future, when
the land should be once more at peace, and the victors re-
warded for their patriotism and fidelity. Here a party might
be seen indulging in euchre, while each convenient stump fur-
nished a desk for some brave fellow to indite a few hearty
lines to the loved ones at home. It was a strange sight, such
as was never seen in an army before, and such as will prob-
ably never be seen again. With nothing save disaster and
defeat as a prestige, the men seemed confident of ultimate
victory, and were merry.
Heavy mortars and siege trains passed along the road, but
IMr. Wilkins did not. Long lines of wagons also passed as
the shades of evening gathered, but among them all one was
wanting. It was the one containing the baggage. Time wore
on, and night came. Was ever a corps of observation so dLs-
tressed before? Strangers to all who surrounded them, alone
among half a hundred thousand men, three-quarters of the
Woutus Corps of Observation sat, and asked themselves what
they were doing there.
And it rained. A night of slow, misty, miserable rain is
bad, very bad, in the streets of a city ; but a night of rain in
the fields is superlatively bad. It is even distressing when
you are sheltered from its dampening influences, but when
you are without shelter it is simply iKsrrible.
I cannot undertake to follow Mr. Wilkins's every movement
since he was left to guard the baggage on the wagons at
Cheesman's Creek. I have therefore only to ask the reader
to imagine the guard and the teamster both on very fomiliar
terms and both gloriously and enthusiastically drunk. Mr.
Wontus might have thought of it before, but it wa.s not until
the night and the rain came on together, and found them
without shelter, that he concluded that that condition of affairs
was within the range of human possibilities. He communi-
cated his thoughts to Nidd, and received for a sympathetic
reply that such was no doubt the case, and that he was old
enough to have known better.
How the trio passed the night I must partially leave to the
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 259
imagination of the reader. Without a tent, blanket, overcoat,
or other coverinLi-, the gentlemen luiddletl together at the root
of a friendly i)ine, and there they sat during the night. Nidd's
mind had evidently taken a new turn, for while they were
sitting back to back, vainly trying to find a dry place beneath
the tree, Mr. Wontus remarked to Mr. Nidd that it was ter-
rible.
" Not much," replied Nidd, with savage satisfaction ; " not
much, sir ! Very pleasant, I am sure, for a man who desires
to gratify his curiosity ; supremely pleasant, sir !" There was
so much of irony in Mr. Nidd's manner that Wontus refrained
from addressing him further, and from that hour until the
breaking of the morning but few sounds broke the stillness
of the night save the fire of the gunboats on the river as they
showered their iron bolts at regular intervals into Yorktowu
and the answeiing shots of the uneasy foe.
To our friends the sound of screaming shells, as they went
flying through the air high above them, was something so
terrible that had it been daylight it is probable that Wontus
would have chosen a safer place than his present situation
seemed to be, and he was nervous and excited. Now he
waited for the gunboats to fire, and when the report had died
away, he drew his coat collar higher about his ears, and lis-
tened attentively for the dull inimitable thug — thug — thug,
of the ponderous bolt as it sped through the air on its mis-
sion of destruction. Then he waited for the shot in reply,
and listened to the echoing sounds which rolled and tossed
among the hills and vales away in the distance. Occasionally,
as a lull in the storm would give one particular shot a louder
and more distinct report than another, Mr. Wontus would
turn to his trembling servant and ask him if he had noticed it.
" There, notice that !" cried he, beneath his breath. " ^Y]^ere-
are-you^ tcliere-are-you, v:here-arc-you ? That's what that one
said. Oh, horror of horrors ! Tommy, I fear somebody will
be killed with this horrible firing." To this sage speech
Thomson made no reply, and the night wore away without
Mr. Wontus having the knowledge that he had closed his
eyes in repose for a moment.
260 WONTUS, OR
CHAPTER XXII.
"WHAT THE GUARDSMAN SAID HAPPENED WHAT DID
HAPPEN.
The morning came at last, leaden-colored and gloomy, and
the tliree gentlemen stood, soaked to the skin, beneath the pine-
tree, until the moving soldiers and the pangs of hunger warned
them that it was time they were astir.
The long line of white-covered wagons was scanned in vain
in the search for Wilkins and the baggage, but since each
wagon resembled the other so closely, and none contained the
smallest article which could be identified, their attention was
soon turned in another direction. Fortunately, Mr. Wontus
was well provided with money, and the soldiers were generous
with their colFee, or the gentlemen would have been compelled
to have breakfasted on cheese and water.
" Where can that man have gone to? What has become
of him?" asked Wontus, as he sipped his cofi'ee from a black
and rusty tin cup.
''Gone to the devil, I hope," replied Nidd, as he walked
about, with a tin cup in one hand and a great piece of cheese
in the other, looking for a dry spot to sit upon.
" P'raps somethin' has killed him," remarked Thomson.
Mr. Nidd halted, and looked scornfully at the speaker.
"Killed!" said he, after a moment's pause; "him killed?
Not much. The bullet was never made that could kill him.
He was born to be hung !"
" I hope "
Mr. Wontus was interrupted by Nidd : " You can hope ! but
what does hope amount to when applied to such a consummate
scoundrel as this fellow ? You should have known better than
to trust him, knowing his propensities."
'• There he is now !" shouted Tommy, joyfully, pointing to-
ward the woods.
Just emerging into the clear field was the form of Benjamin
Wilkins. His chin was resting upon his breast, his hands
THE COUPS OF OnSERVATIOX. 2C1
jammed into Ins pockets, ;iih1 liisj liii^crushed down over his
eyes. With slow and fahering stei)S he moved along, until
he reached his anxious friends, and then stood like a culprit
awaiting sentence.
" Well, sir !" cried Mr. Wontus, with dignified anger, "you
have arrived, have you?"
Mr. Wilkins shrugged his shoulders, and, drawing his
hands from his pockets, stood with his eyes fixed upon the
ground, as though he would have said, had he said anything,
that it was of no use to cry over spilt milk.
" You've evidently enjoyed yourself," said Mr. Nidd, ironi-
cally, taking a survey of his person.
To this Mr. Wilkins made no rejoiner, but raising his head
he took a hasty glance at his angular friend, and again shrugged
his shoulders. This movement was what Mr. Wontus had been
looking for, and as he caught sight of Benjamin's flice, he
started back with an exclamation of surprise. It was plain now
that the guardsman had been intoxicated. His clothes were
torn and besmeared with mud, and his eyes were discolored
and badly swollen. Added to this were sundry marks across
his forehead and cheeks, which gave him the appearance of
having fallen into hands which marked him well before per-
mitting him to depart.
"Where is the baggage?" cried Wontus, angrily. "I de-
mand an explanation, sir !"
" Could I have a mouthful to eat or " He spoke most
humbly, and tried to look with his bloodshot eyes beseechingly
at his employer. The look had done the business for Mr.
Wontus, and, much to the disgust of Nidd, that gentleman at
once offered the new-comer his cup, and ordered Tommy to
bring forth the cheese and crackers. While Wilkins was re-
freshing himself, Wontus wandered off and stood eyeing him
from a distance, and it was plain to be seen that the old gen-
tleman was determined to have an explanation as to what dis-
position had been made of the baggage. Wilkins's appetite
on this occasion was easily satisfied, and as he gulped down
his cup of coffee our hero walked up to him and renewed his
demand for an explanation. As the guardsman was not in a
very talkative mood, I will give his statement as he made it.
What Mr. Wilkins said iLappened. — " When you left," said
the speaker, " I told the driver which baggage he was for to
262 rroxTus, on
load, and then, that I n^ght be sure that everything was right,
I took charge of the jimuiijohn, and we mounted. Of course
you know it ain't very far from here to where we landed, but
somehow or another the wagon-driver, he lost his way. and al-
though I done all that laid in my power to get us straight on
the road again, it was night before we knowed exactly where
we'd got to. As soon as I got my bearin's, you just bet
we made tracks, because I knowed you would be anxious.
Well, everything went on all hunke}' until we struck the cor-
duvoY road, and jist there about forty men come out of the
woods and attacked us. The fii-st thing I knowed was that
the driver was knocked off his horse. I was a-sittin' up on the
wagon, and as soon as I saw this I jumped down and pitched
in. But there was too many of 'em. and they got the best of
me. They left me for dead, and when I come to, the wagon
and the driver and the attackin' party was gone, — clean
gone. As soon as I was able — for I'm kind of badly hurted —
I started out to find you, and now I'm decently well glad that
I'm alive."
Wontus listened attentively to the story, and then turned
away. A moment afterwards he heard from some straggling
soldiers
What did hcqyjjcn. — It was this: Wontus and party had
scarcely got out of sight when Mr. Wilkins and the driver of
the wagon sat down to a sociable game of cards. The game
was kept up for a greater part of the day, and toward evening
it was proposed that they should take up their line of march
toward Yorktown. This movement they had endeavored to
execute, but as they had transferred a greater part of the
liquor from the demijohn to their own stomachs, they found
it impossible for either of them to go in an}' particular direc-
tion for any great length of time, and finally pitched into each
other and had a grand fight. They were ably seconded by the
crews of some of the barges lying in the creek, and when
through, were quietly laid away to refresh. While thus they
were enjoying repose the barge-men had rifled the wagon of
its contents, and passed the vehicle itself over to the military
authorities, and that was all.
It was seldom that Mr. Wontus indulged in swearing, but
he did swear now. and looked around for Nidd, with whom he
desii-ed to consult as to the proper coui-se of action to be taken
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 263
in the premises. But Nidd was gone. He had departed a
few moments after Wilkins's arrival. Unable to find him, Mr.
AVontus consulted with himself, and concluded to discharge
Wilkius forthwith. But he never put his resolution into
effect. He never had the heart to do anything that would
harm anybody. He informed the guardsman of his intention,
but the guardsman's appeals were calculated to melt harder
substances than Mr.. Wontus's heart, and he ended the matter
by excusing him, provided it should never occur again.
The day was spent by Mr. Wontus and Tommy in inspect-
ing the works near at hand, and when night came our hero
and his man found themselves the guests of the Rev. Mr.
Grospill, of the — th New York. Mr. Wontus scarcely knew
how he had become acquainted with the reverend gentleman,
but he was delighted with his new companion, and gladly ac-
cepted the gentleman's invitation to make his (the chaplain's)
tent his home as long as circumstances would permit. Through
the same kind friend, Nidd and Wilkins were furnished with
a tent near at hand, and thus the corps was provided for.
There were some amusing things connected with the rela-
tionship which now existed between Nidd and Wilkins which
cannot find a place here, and for the record of the few days
which followed we must again have recourse to Mr. Nidd's
note-book.
[extract ]
Before Yorktown, Thursday^ May 1. — Wontus and
Thomson fixed with a minister ; the wretch Wilkins and
myself live together. Wontus furnishes the table. Every-
thing pretty good considering the war. No peace at night ;
thundering roar of cannons and scream of shells all night.
Wonder how the soldiers stand it; can't sleep for the noise.
Great preparations being made by McClellan for taking the
enemy's lines. Was out in a sap to-day. Men make the saps
and rifle-pits at night, and then lie in them all day, firing at
the enemy's gunners; great thing, but very dangerous. Some-
times two parties — one from each side — have selected the same
ground for a rifle-pit during the day, and go out under cover
of the darkness to make the work ; meet and fight in the dark.
Ugh ! Men go out at night full of life and good humor, and
come back dead in the morning, shot, or stuck with a bayonet.
Nobody makes much account of it. It makes me sad, but
264 WOXTUS, OR
what I write here I never mention. Members of tlie corps
are seeing the sights as best suits their f^iucy. Could write a
book about what I see, but will not.
Fridai/j May 2. — Making many acquaintances ; called on a
number of generals ; been received so-so by some, and very
pleasantly by others. Have found the difference between
tweedledum and tweedledee. One is an officer of the regular
army, and the other isn't. Notice many rather singular things,
and hear some surprising conversations. Come to the conclu-
sion that military genius is composed of three essentials : pluck,
luck, and perseverance ; don't believe there is anything else in
it except what an^Miian of common sense and gumption would
do without being educated to it. Know that this idea would
be unpopular, and therefore sha'n't mention it.
Heard a general say that he didn't like to fire into Magru-
der ; Magruder was an old classmate and a good fellow. Been
wondering if he was in earnest, and if he would cease firing
in case his classmate was endangered by it. Very singular,
and yet remarks of a similar character are plenty in many
circles. Don't expect a soldier to condemn his foe simply be-
cause he is his foe, but can't help feeling that there is more in
these remarks than appears on the surfoce. Thought I would
write to Mr. Lincoln, but have changed my mind.
Don't believe a man can or will fight and do his best if his
heart is not in the cause. Have concluded that some of our
high officers are here for fame. Hope they may get it, but
not at the expense of somebody else.
Saw Gi-eneral McClellan to-day. Splendid gentleman, and is
fairly worshiped by the men. Believe him to be a good man ;
think he dislikes to spill human blood. Very commendable,
but not of much value in war. Soldiers everywhere, and more
coming in all the time. The day is drawing near when we
shall crush the rebellion like a wisp of straw.
Saturday^ May 3. — Terrible firing all last night : listened
to the shells flying through the air, and then felt the sides of
the tent. Concluded that the tent wouldn't prevent the shells
from striking me. Horrible thought.
Been wondering why I haven't heard from [erasures] Phil-
adelphia. Very strange. Perhaps Scribendi ? We shall see.
I believe him to be a man of craven spirit and devoid of prin-
ciple. Time only is necessary to develop him.
THE CORPS OF ODSERVATIOiV. 2G5
The preparations for the grand assault still go on. Men
and large mortars were mounted last evening ; the trenches
are nearly finished ; the soldiers are in good spirits, and the
hour of victory seems to draw near. AVould to Heaven that
I could think so ! Am I a skeptic, or do I lack confidence in
the ability of the government and the courage and endurance
of the people ? Yes, I lack confidence. I would believe in
some men if I could ; but I cannot. But, since the country
is blind to their faults and shortcomings, should I complain ?
No!
Sunday^ May 4. — I think I am disconcerted this morning.
Have had an unexpected shock.
The enemy have evacuated their works. They did it well.
It was a masterly movement, — and we never thought of such
a thing until an hour since (four o'clock).
Like a coward, he has stolen away in the night. But he
did it well, and I give him credit for it. It was deeply strate-
gic. But the troops at Cheesman's Creek ! Ah ! I had
most forgotten. I see it all ; but still I fear. They will go
up the river on their boats ; but will they head him off ?
There is the question which troubles me.
Wontus is a simpleton. He does nothing but laugh, and
declare that the war is already ended. He says we must be
in at the death. We move immediately. Our troops are in
hot pursuit.
And it rained !
I have read of the battles of Waterloo, of Inkerman, of
Lowositz, of Rossbach, of Kollin, of Bunker Hill, of Mon-
mouth, of Monterey, of Puebla, of Sedan, and countless others,
and from these readings, and the prints I have gazed upon
with so much interest, I painted my first pictures of the hor-
rors, glories, and beauties of war.
The corps had marched to Williamsburg, and were willing
to confess that they had been most miserably, most shame-
fully, deceived. They looked for the gallant general, whose
waving plume and prancing horse was thought to be foremost
in the fniy, but have been disappointed. True, they saw him ;
but he was such a miserable-looking man, and his horse was
so quiet and submissive, that they should not have known
him had they not been so informed. They have looked for
M 23
266 WOXTUS, OR
the soldier on foot, who struggles among a score of men, with
no arms save a broken musket, to do battle against a score of
savage, blood-thirsty foes ; but they haven't seen him either,
and yet they have seen much that is painful and heart-rend-
ing to behold. All the blood and misery was there, and it
was easily to be seen that Mr. Wontus was seriously disap-
pointed in his first battle. The pictures from which he had
formed his ideas of a battle-field were faulty.
The rain fell in slow and easy, but drenching, showers, and
as the drenched and weary lines filed past him to take their
places where the fire was hottest and the danger most immi-
nent, he fell to regretting that his store of liquors and other
comforts which he had intended for just such occasions was
gone — had been swallowed by Wilkins. He was about to
remark something concerning the loss of the stores, when his
attention was attracted to Mr. Nidd. That gentleman, who
had been sitting on a stone by the roadside, had got upon his
feet, and, with glaring eyes, was scanning a troop of horsemen
who were passing. I have heard of people " looking daggers"'
at other people, and if such a thing can be, I am sure that
Nidd was "looking daggers" either at the troop of horse col-
lectively, or at some one of the horsemen individually. En-
tirely heedless of Mr. \idd or his manner, the troop passed
on, but it was not until they were obscured from view by the
mist and rain that he took his eyes from them.
" Did you see that ?"' he cried, turning to AVontus. '• Did
you see that ? The infernal scoundrel ! A.nd here we are,
weary and wet, and on foot, without a living soul to ask us to
even take so much as a smile, while that fellow is mounted,
and riding along like a prince."
"Why, what?" queried Mr. TVontus, entirely unable to
comprehend the meaning of his friend's strange language.
For himself, he had seen nothing about the cavalcade more
than a cluster of generals, and as it was no unusual thing to
see clusters of these gentleman, Mr. Wontus thought nothing
of it. He stood looking at Xidd in silence.
'•Didn't you see him?" cried Xidd, guessing Wontus's
thoughts ; " didn't you see him ?"
"Who?"
•• ^Ir. Edward Pason Montcalm Higginson." x\nd Nidd
fairly hissjd the name from between his teeth.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 267
Wilkins had taken refuge behind the trunk of a large oak,
which stood just where the principal tributary of King's
Creek is crossed by the Yorktown road, and sat with the tree
between the foe and himself. Thus far most of the heavy
firing had been done near where the Warwick road enters the
town, but now the right wing, which had been creeping up
through tlie wet, tangled grass in the fields almost within sight
of the York River, commenced to show itself to the enemy,
and was received with a furious cannonade. It was just at
this moment that Mr. Nidd had undertaken to explain his
conduct to Wontus more fully, when a screaming but " lazy"
shell came screaming through the air, and almost at the same
moment the entire corps, without waiting for a word of com-
mand, commenced an accelerated march in the direction of
Yorktown. Troops lined every road and by-path, and hun-
dreds of wagons littered the roads. The mud was deep and
traveling bad, but the furious firing which was constantly
kept up in the rear, induced our hero and his friends to
press onward, regardless alike of the roads and the men who
thronged them. Nor did they question each other for the
seeming haste. I cannot say that the corps was frightened,
but I can say that, with the exception of Mr. Wilkins, they
were disappointed. And it rained.
Yorktown was reached early in the evening, and by that
time the firing had nearly ceased, and couriers were arriving,
who related to anxious crowds of listeners that the enemy
would be held in his position for the night, and the fight
continued on the morrow.
CHAPTER XXIII.
A NEW CHARACTER INTRODUCED, AND AN OLD STORY RE-
CALLED.
The morning following the battle of Williamsburg was
clear and beautiful, and the wet leaves and grass glittered in
the sunlight as though made of wax. Wontus and his party
had spent the night in a hut near the landing, and, with the
268 WOXTUS, OR
exception of the recollection of the thorough ducking they had
received the day before, were in fine trim. Among the fii>t
Union men who had planted their feet on the landing at York-
town after the evacuation was a sutler, and through his instru-
mentality, or rather through his store, the gentlemen had
been enabled to refresh themselves.
The army sutler was a peculiar institution, and the reason
why he was peculiar was because he had made up his mind to
be peculiar before he left home. Like the vulture and turkey-
buzzard, he was a necessary evil. To fight was none of his
business ; to die was out of his calculations — he had come to
the army to live and fatten, and if he failed it was certainly
more the result of accident than intention. The first principle
in his business was to buy cheap and sell dear, and he was
never known to violate those principles in the slightest ; and
he was always happiest when others were most unhappy, and
that was when delicacies in the surrounding country were
scarce and his stock was full. He would sell anything ; his
whole life appeared to be a sell on a grand scale, and he was
ever ready to part with anything, except his life, at the short-
est notice, provided always that collat^-al of sufficient weight
and bulk could be seen withia easy reach. A clever volume
might be written about him, and — but I must '-On to Eich-
mond."
I must leave my readers to imagine what the evacuated
town looked like, and to imagine Mr. Nidd and the others —
Wontus excepted — loaded down with relics. Nor can I relate
the adventures of the gentlemen in search of the deadly tor-
pedoes, which the foe had ingeniously hidden in eveiy place
where they were most likely to be found. All these things I
must pass over, and proceed to state at once that, after the
gentlemen had become thoroughly dry and well rested, they
took a retrospective glance over the scenes and incidents of
the past twenty- four hours, and concluded that everything was
much better than they had reason to expect.
It was noon. Mr. AVontus sat on the wharf-log at the
landing, and waited for the news to come which should tell
him of the annihilation or capture o^the entire rebel army on
the Peninsula. He had every reason to expect this, because
he had heard from good authority that such was the intention
of the commander. But he was disappointed here again, for
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 269
instead of hearing of the capture of the enemy, he heard with
amazement that he had quKjtly slipped away from our hands
in the night, and was now well on his way toward the interior.
" It avails nothing," cried Wontus, a moment after he had
heard the news.
Nidd and the soldiers standing about looked at him in
astonishment.
" No, gentlemen ; it avails nothing. He cannot escape."
" He has escaped !" interrupted Nidd, dogmatically.
" Ah !" cried Mr. Wontus, rubbing his hands in great glee ;
" you've forgot the other army, on the transports, held back
on purpose for this occasion. It has gone up the river, and
by this time is standing like a wall of fire between the fly-
ing rebels and the haven of rest."
The bystanders remarked that Mr. Wontus was correct,
and from that moment nothing would suit him but the imme-
diate departure of the party for the new scene of action.
" What ! so close as we are to the scene, and not be there
when the final blow is struck ! Why, Nidd, I'm astonished !
Why, what would the people at home say if we were to leave
just at the very moment that the rebellion is about to be
brought to a close ? Of course we will go !"
This argument had the desired effect, and four o'clock in
the afternoon found the four gentlemen on one of the trans-
ports heading for West Point. For further particulars, see
the notes of Gascon Nidd :
[extract.]
Tuesday, May 6. — On board the fine steamer C. Vanderhilt.
Wilkins's cheek secured the passage. Things comfortable.
Whisky in great abundance. No water. Scenery fine and
safe. Grunboats just ahead of us, throwing occasional shells
into the woods and other places where an enemy might be
lurking. Wontus a fit subject for lunatic asylum. Wilkins
in a beastly state of intoxication ; has related seven chapters
of lies to the captain of the boat, and is taken, by more than
half the people on the boat, for the head of our party.
Ecening. — Have cast anchor among a number of other
vessels. Have no idea where we are. Have a place to sleep,
and will p'oceed to occupy it.
Wednesday^ May 7. — Was awakened by Wontus at day-
23*
270 WOXTUS, OR
break. Went on shore immediately. Fell in with lot of men
boiling meat and coflfee. K;it a iiearty breukfa.st with them.
Is this West Point? No point here.. West Point is just
opposite to us. Firing !
On landing from the transport Mr. Wontus had hastily
partaken of some of the strong salt beef and stronger coffee,
which the soldiers had kindly volunteered to give him, and
immediately after stepped up the sloping, gnissy bank, and
scanned the country. Before him lay a beautiful, level plain,
here and there dotted with the white tents of the troops who
had landed the evening before. On each side, and in front,
the plain was fringed by a thick wood, which entirely hid
from view the little rivulets which flowed sluggishly along
and mingled their waters with those of the York on either
flunk of the line of white tents. The country to the right
was level, and the glittering waters of the rapid Pamunkey
could be seen through the trees, flashing like a mirror as it
wound its serpentine course in the direction of the mountains
far beyond. On the left, and perhaps a half-mile distant from
the line of tents, was a steep bluff surmounted by a house,
and beyond that was the forest, symmetrical and unbroken.
The spot was one of surpassing beauty, and Mr. Wontus
drank in the loveliness of the scene, and lost all consciousness
of war and its attending horrors in the contemplation of pure,
innocent nature. Ah ! how many brave, noble-minded fellows,
he sighed, whose natures and education fitted them for the
enjoyment of just such scenes as these, lie buried beneath the
very branches which they looked upon and carried to their
hearts as a solace to the misery which war. cruel, inhuman
war had thrown about them ? Thousands !
Wontus had fallen into a deep reverie, from which he was
suddenly aroused by the bang and clatter of musketry. In a
breath he called Nidd, Thomson, and Wiikins, and in a mo-
ment after wondered why he had done so.
At first the shots were scattering, and Mr. Wontus com-
menced to hope that it was a returning picket-party who were
firing off their pieces ; but the soldiers knew better than that,
and when the long lines of blue commenced moving silently
through the haze of early morning out from among the tents,
our hero guessed the truth, and looked wonderingly at the
transports, whose decks were crowded with men, as they rode
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATIOX. 271
silently and bolcmnlj at anchor in niicl-rivcr. Did these men
belong to the division which was to stund like a wall across
the path of the flying enemy, or were they reinforcements ?
He had little or no knowledge of what is called the science
of war, but common sense taught him that if these were the
men who were to constitute the wall, it was time they were
moving ; he wondered why they had not moved before. Not
having any positive knowledge of the exact condition of
afiairs, he chose to believe that the men on the transports
were reinforcements, and that the division which had been
selected for the purpose was already standing across the track
of the retreating foe. It was a comfortable thought, and he
enjoyed it. The army needed a success; the country needed
a success ; and Mr. AVontus felt sure that the time had come
when the brilliant expectations of months were to be realized.
As the sun rose up from behind the trees, the fire, which
had been desultory and uncertain, became more regular, and
volley after volley broke upon the air. It came no nearer,
nor was it fluther off. What could it mean ? Informing
the others of his intentions, and bidding Tommy accompany
him, our hero walked through the deserted streets of the
camp and onward over the plain in the direction of the firing,
which became heavier as he progressed. As he walked,
he turned and glanced at the vessels in the river, and was de-
lighted with the fact that at last the troops were disembarking
and coming to the assistance of those already engaged in battle.
In the centre of the plain a barn of rough-hewn logs stood,
like a huge, grim sentinel, and toward this structure Mr.
Wontus bent his footsteps. It is not known that Wontus was
a coward, nor is it known that he was a brave man, except
when under some extraordinary excitement, but he wisely se-
lected the strong logs of the barn as a proj^er place for a corps
of observation to take its stand.
The fight went on, but nowhere could an enemy be seen.
For a time the lines of blue-coated men stood immovable, and
then they moved off briskly into the thick woods, only to be
received by a withering fire from a hidden foe. The wounded
men were carried to tlie rear by the members of the regimental
bands; and now, for the first time, Mr. Wontus was made ac-
quainted with the fact that instead of forming a wail of fire
across the line of retreat of the enemy, the enemy had actually
272 WOXTUS, OR
placed a wall before vi^, and but for the gunboats would have
driven us into the river ; as it was, a section of artillery had
made its way to the bluff on the extreme left, and for a time
threatened the destruction of the fleet of transports. The gun-
boats, however, thoroughly alive to the necessities of the occa-
sion, opened their iron mouths, and belched such a shower of
iron hail upon the battery, that it was compelled to retire.
The battle soon after ceased by the withdrawal of the enemy.
Wontus had been so deeply absorbed in the workings of a
battery planted near the barn, that it was not until he heard a
particular name mentioned that he cast his eyes over the
wounded men who were lying spread upon the ground in the
shade of its shelter,
" Are you hurt bad, colonel ?" asked a poor fellow who was
sitting near, binding up a wound in his ankle.
There was no answer,
" Who is he?" asked one of the musicians, who had been
diligently engaged carrying water to the wounded. " Who is
he?"
" Colonel Blakely, — Colonel Lathrop Blakely, of the — th
Ohio. He came up in the night, and when the fight commenced
to be pretty brisk, got a lot of men together and led them mto
that hell-trap there by the fence. They thought it was smart
to lay in the brush behind them rails, but it weren't ; anybody
could do that that was coward enough to think of it."
'' I don't think he's hurt badly," remarked the surgeon, who
was examining the colonel ; " only faint from loss of blood ;
no bones appear to be broken."
" Doctor," remarked the soldier with the wounded ankle,
mixing up his own troubles with the solicitude he felt for
another, " I hope he ain't hurt much — this confounded thing
bleeds so — good men are scarce, you know — I can't stop the
thunderin' bleeding — he comes from the same town I do — see
here, ain't you got one of them turneykets with you ? — where's
he hit, anyhow ? I saw one of them Mississippi fellers go for
him — I had it pretty well tied, darn it, look at that ! — I seen
him fall, too, but I got this feller about that time, and I don't
know whether he was stuck with a knife or hit with a bullet
— see here, doc, this thing won't amount to much, will it?"
And thus the soldier carried on a conversation which might
be called a double one, since it was an odd mixture, partially
THE CORPS OF OnSERVATIOX. 273
addressed to the surgeon and partially to the wound in his
ankle.
" What do you mean by saying that you don't know w^hether
he was stuck with a knife or not?" queried the surgeon.
" See here ; just fix this thing a little, will you, doctor? It
don't hurt so thuuderin' much, but it spouts blood like a stuck
whale." And the soldier ground his clinched teeth more in
anger than in pain.
The surgeon ordered Colonel Blakely to be conveyed to the
hospital, and then turned his attention to the soldier. Mr.
Wontus felt inclined to follow Blakely, but a desire to hear
the soldier's story held him back.
"You see," said the soldier, supporting his wounded leg
with his hands, " a lot of us fellers were separated from the
regiment, and when Colonel Blakely come along and asked us
if we'd follow him, why, we just went right in. Some of the
New York and Pennsylvaney boys who had just come out told
us we'd better stay out, but the colonel went on and we followed.
We'd just got in the middle of that swamp over there, when,
thunder and lightnin', how they did pour it into us ! Of
course we broke, and when I looked around I noticed Colonel
Blakely, who was on foot, had stuck in the swamp, — got mired ;
and just at the same time I saw one of the ugly devils jump
over the fence, with a big knife in his hand, and make for him.
That's all I saw, for, pink ! and down I goes myself with this
feller. You don't think it will amount to much, do you, doctor?"
The surgeon said he did not think the wound dangerous, and
then turning to Wontus, remarked : " I noticed that the officer's
wound was rather a peculiar one, and I guess that there is no
doubt but that it was done with a knife."
" Is the wound serious?" asked Wontus, anxiously.
" There is a large incision immediately in the rear and be-
low the left arm, but as yet I am unable to tell its exact extent."
As the surgeon spoke he moved off toward the hospital, and
AVontus at once commenced rendering such assistance as was
in his power to the men about him. At length the last one
was spread upon a stretcher and carried away. Mr. Wontus
and Tommy were alone.
" Tommy," remarked Mr. Wontus, after a time, " do I know
anybody by the name of Blakely, — Colonel Blakely ?"
" Maybe you do, sir."
274 WO\TUS, OR
" Yes, yes, T know ! I must certainly know somebody by
that name. I thouuht so the moment I heard it."
" Met 'em sdraewheres?' remarked Thomson, suggestively.
" For the life of me I can't t<?lV remarked Wontus ; " and
yet it must be so." And he looked upon the ground and com-
menced scratching his head as is customary on such occasions.
" Tommy," he remarked, after a long pause, " come, we must
go !" And he started toward the river as he spoke. " Just run
over a few of the names of the people that I know, Thomas ;
perhaps I may recollect."
"Gascon Nidd?" commenced Thomas.
" No, no ! some of the names of people that I am not familiar
with."
"Wilkins?"
" Xo, no ! but go on." Mr. Wontus spoke as if in desperation.
"Me?"
"No."
"Diddler?"
" No."
" None of them ?"
" No." And Thomas Thomson now commenced to scratch
his head.
"Go on !" commanded Mr. Wontus.
" Major Flick ?"
" That's it ! that's it !" almost shouted Wontus. " I've got
it ! Oh, yes. Flick. Now I see ; 3Irs. Flick, — you recollect,
Tommy, the sick woman in AVashington. Yes, this is the man.
I thought I heard the name somewhere, now I know all about
it. He's the gentleman that they tarred and feathered in Ala-
bama ; the very man. I wonder what she'd say now if she
was here. She'd pity him, I know she would. She loved him
once ; she said she did. I wonder if he loves her?" As he
spoke these words a shadow came over his face, but it was gone
in a moment, and he continued talking thus to himself until
he found Nidd and Wilkins eating oysters, which the latter
had fished from the plentiful supply at hand on the shoal-banks
of the river.
Neither Nidd nor Wilkins appeared to be at all disturbed
by Mr. Wontus's graphic account of the fight, and it was only
the feast of bivalves that was spread befi)re him that prevented
him from becoming angry, and consequently disagreeable.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 275
Eating does much toward assuaging the angry passions, and
on this occasion Mr. Wontus had scarcely partaken, when his
tongue was let loose again, and he related to the priviite ear of
Mr. Nidd all about the wounded officer and his knowledge of
him. Nidd listened patiently, and at the conclusion remarked
that it was a singular coincidence, and then went on with his
eating, as before.
During the remainder of the day there was peace and quiet-
ness in the camp, and Mr. Wontus wandered about among the
hospital tents, and sympathized with the wounded. He was
grieved that he could do no more. He had sought for Colonel
Blakely among the wounded, but he was not there. He had
been removed to one of the transports lying out in the river.
CHAPTER XXIV.
AND IT RAINED — THE ARMY 3I0VES ONWARD, AND THE
CORPS WITNESSES A DISTRESSING SIGHT.
Mr. Wontus' s assiduous attention to the sick and wounded
now brought him to the attention of the surgeons, and through
these kind-hearted gentlemen (to whom he had related the un-
fortunate loss of the stores which he had intended for the sick
and wounded) the quartette was provided with quarters in
one of the unused hospital tents. During the evening he was
introduced to quite a number of officers, and in listening to
one of Mr. AVilkins's narratives, in which Wilkins was the
central figure, and in which he drew a line of similitude to
many of the exploits performed by difi'erent parties on the
present occasion, Mr. Wontus forgot the miseries of the day
and fell asleep.
Again it becomes necessary to recur to Mr. Nidd's private
journal.
[extract.]
Thursday, May 8. — Weather delightful. All expected to
be made sick by sleeping on the ground. Everybody feels
splendid. Gunboats went up the Pamunkey (handsome name)
n*
276 woxrus, OR
Kiver this morning on reconnoitGring exjx^dition ; went alnn
Fired into things generally. Saw some of the infernal luflatus
this evening ; cut them.
Friday^ May 9. — Preparations for march. Everything
slow, easy, and pleasant.
Evening. — Eltham Farm; marched here this afternoon.
Only a step from the other camp. Splendid place. Took a
good look at the army to-day. Very large crowd of men.
Each regiment has a band of music. Each company has a
wagon. Each regiment has from ten to thirteen wagons.
Each company has its tents. Each tent has its complement
of men, — six men to a tent. Each tent resembles its neighbor
so much that I find it troublesome to tell where I live — if I
can call this living — if I turn around twice.
Saturday., May 10. — Everything quiet to-day. Com-
mander was here this afternoon. Looked splendid, and boys
cheered him.
Sunday. May 11. — Another move to-day.
Evening. — Jones's Farm. Have left the river, and will
take the inland road in future.
Monday, May 12. — The whole army collecting here. Gffand
sight ; but nothing of importance, that I can see, going on.
Tuesday. May 13. — Cumberland. Beautiful place. Marched
here this morning.
Evening. — Great excitement. Attack on wagon train. No
tents. A^ery warm. Sleep in plowed field. Wontus with
the surgeons. Wilkins missing. Good thing.
P. S. — "Wilkins is here. lias killed a hundred men, ac-
cording to his account !
And it rained. There is probably no situation in life which
can be compared, in the remotest sense, to a day of rain in an
army without shelter. It is at once painfully distressing, dis-
gusting, horrible, and disheartening. Such, in fact, is my faith
in the influence of a slow, steady rain, that I feel that any
army which jrtresses an attack under the auspices of Jupiter
Pluvius must of a necessity be worsted, if the fight is any-
where near equal. And this is the way Mr. Wontus felt.
"What sleep he had taken the night before was on the bare
ground, without so much as a handkerchief to cover and pro-
tect him from the blinding dust which always accompanied the
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 277
army in dry weather. This being the case, he was glad when
he saw the clouds gathering ; but when the rain came he com-
plained about it, and turned a deaf ear to the bitter language
of Nidd and the others.
With the close of the day, and after everybody wiis soaking
wet, the surgeons secured a tent, and into this solitary shelter
the gentlemen crowded. I verily believe that Wontus himself
would have been inclined to fight had there been a disposition
shown by anybody to deny him entrance. In course of time a
fire was kindled in front of the tent, and I must draw a veil
over the picture presented by the party as they sat there dry-
ing their clothes.
At the hour of three a.m. the army was again in motion.
The flood-gates of heaven seemed to have opened, and with
the dawn of day the rain poured down as if the clerk of the
weather thought that all mankind had been transformed into
turtles, and that water, and plenty of it, was necessary to their
existence. Weary, hungry, and wet, the soldiers plodded
along, the Wontus Corps of Observation among them. Scarcely
a word was said by anybody. Even the horses appeared dis-
gusted, and hung their heads lower and lower, as the march
progressed. The infantry had made a way for themselves
through the fields, while the artillery and wagons kept the
road. It was nearly noon when the advance columns came
out from the woods upon the beautiful plains of the W^hite
House. Luxuriant grass, heavy and sparkling with the drops
of rain, was waving in the wind. Farther on was a neat,
white cottage, with its cluster of " quarters," and beyond that
were the waters of the Pamunkey.
Mr. Wontus saw the waving grass, the cottage, and the
river ; but they moved him not. His spirits had been crushed
by the rain, and he was ready to yield up the ghost without a
murmur. The savagery which had beamed upon Nidd's face
disappeared with the sight of civilization, and Wilkins became
actually merry. Tommy was accustomed to follow the moods
of his master, and the party trudged on. At last the camp-
ing-ground was reached. It was on the high banks of the
river, and near the cosy, comfortable cottage. The regiments
were assigned their ground ; the arms were stacked ; and then
came the waiting for the baggage.
And it rained.
24
273 woyTus, OR
Fires were built, only to be squelched out by the rain, and
thvi men stood about with their ponchos pulled closely around
them. They were waiting for food and shelter. The sur-
geons and our friends had waited with the others, and their
patience was nearly exhausted, when Mr. Nidd proposed and
urged that they take shelter in one of the outhouses which
surrounded the cottage. AVhy not? Once proposed, it
needed but little argument to move the gentlemen, and they
proceeded at once to put the proposition into execution. Mr.
Nidd had inquired as to who the owner of the house was, and
on ascertaining that he was one of the most bitter and unre-
lenting foes of the government, he insisted that the cottage
itself was the only place suitable for a corps of observation.
He took the lead himself, and would have unceremoniously
entered the yard, but a guard was there who warned him
back. Mr. Nidd could scarcely believe his eyes.
Had it not been for our friend's experience with the same
sort of a man at Fortress Monroe, it is probable that there
would at least have been some questions asked ; but with this
experience before him Mr. Nidd's countenance fell, and he
turned away. Next the slave quarters were visited ; a guard
was there. The same at the barn, the corn-crib, the wagon-
house, the cooper-shop, the pig-sty ; everywhere that shelter
might be had from the pelting storm a blue-coated guard, with
bayonet fixed and visage grim, made to his suffering comrades
the same reply, " Ye cannot enter here !" and then mutter-
iugly cursed the inexorable law that bid him say it.
With the surgeons the condition of affairs was understood ;
with "Woutus it was incomprehensible ; with Nidd it was
damnable, and when out of the hearing of the guard he de-
nounced it in unmeasured terms.
''What!" said he, "is this the way the men who have
been reared by the hands of the government, and who are
now seeking her heart's blood, are treated? The man is an
ass — a knave — who enforces it, and were he here I'd tell him
so. Justitia virtutum regina^ as the lawyers say. Let us be
just to ourselves before we are generous. The man who is
not is a "
" Hush !" commanded one of the surgeons. " We can't
allow you to go on in that way, sir."
" You can't?" cried Nidd, bitterly. " Better by for if you
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 279
would not allow some other things to go on in the way they
are going."
Further remark by IMr. Nidd was cut short by Wontus
clinging to his arm, and begging him in a whisper to be
quiet. Nidd consented most unwillingly, and the party re-
turned to the river-bank and sought the shelter of the trees.
And it rained.
The night was coming on apace, and long lines of troops
kept pouring on to the plain, but as yet not a baggage-wagon
made its appearance. They were stuck fast in the mud.
The gunboats and a schooner lay at anchor in the river,
and as night threw her gloomy mantle over the plain an un-
disguised feeling of despondency pervaded all circles.
Not being familiar with the uses and consequent abuses of
many medicines, I am unable to state or even give an opinion
concerning the effectiveness of whisky, except as a disturbing
element, when taken in large and frequent doses. But it was
the practice in the army to administer doses of the medicine
to the men, and therefore I suppose it is both proper and
highly efficacious.
With an ease that was really astonishing, and with a copi-
ousness that was certainly wonderful, the rain poured down.
The troops had assembled in their company streets, and stood
huddled together like sheep. But few fires would burn, and
there was little or no fuel. There were the fences, but»wlio
dared touch a rail ? Not a man ! and as the bleak evening
wind came rushing up the river, the men stood and shivered.
Still, no wagons. "What can we do?" the officers asked of
each other. Noon had passed dinnerless, and night had come,
and yet nothing to eat. Nidd had secured a gigantic rooster
somewhere, nobody knew where or how, and he stood there,
defiantly holding it in ful-l view of all.
As time passed, results of different descriptions were brought
about in a way which, to the eyes of Mr. Wontus, were very
mysterious. He had been looking down the river-banks, and
noticed that a number of men were engaged at something on
the deck of the schooner ; but it was not until he saw men
with canteens, pots, and kettles passing and repassing him,
that he understood that a ration of whisky was being issued ;
first, because it was " regular," and second, because there was
nothing else. Eagerly the troops waited for the ration. Two
280 WOXTUS, OR
camp-kcttlefuls were to be issued to each company, but it
required no great amount of strategy for a company to receive
a duplicated quantity.
It was not necessary for a man to see or be informed tliat
the ration had been issued for him to know that it had been,
for it soon spoke for itself. Twenty thousand men thrtnged
about their quartermasters, and of that number, perhaps, nine-
teuths quaffed the " quarrelsome broth." Of these, some did
it because it had been the custom of their lives, others because
they had an appetite for it, and the remainder out of i)ure
desperation, fostered by a desire to be oblivious to passing ills.
And it rained.
It was now dark, — black, pitchy dark, — and the few camp-
fires that were burning seemed but to make the night look
darker and more dismal. For fully an hour the tide of sol-
diers had been carrying the liquor by the spot where our
friends were standing. A few jokes and suppressed laughter
were as yet the only effects of the stimulant ; but ere long the
jokes became broader, the laughter louder, and everything
much enlivened.
Where all had been quiet before, the song was now heard,
and in many of the streets bearded, savage-looking fellows
played the part of the fairer sex. and whirled each other over
the tangled grass in the mazes of the waltz. As they passed
and, repassed between ]Mr. Woutus and the fires, the dull blaze
cast a glare over their excited faces, and made the imagination
conjure them into some terrible ogres who had come to make
merry at the misery which surrounded them. The songs soon
gave place to cat-calls, and these were followed by yells of the
most unearthly character, which rang from one end of the vast
plain to the other. Jollity and good humor prevailed on all
sides, and the officers, glad to rest from the torment of men
whose wants could not be gratified, sought the shelter of the
trees and sipped their rations in silence.
It was a pleasant change from the gloom of an hour before,
but the end was not yet, and as Mr. Wontus and his friends
walked through the camp other sounds than those of joy
greeted their ears. The heated words of men quarreling
could be distinctly heard, and ere the gentlemen had fairly
returned to their old position on the river-bank, a sullen roar
of angry voices came up from one of the more distant camps,
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 281
and in a moment the cry of " Figlit !" " fight !" went rolling
over the waters of the river, and echoed again and again
among hills and woods beyond. It was a common cry, and
the officers had heard it many times before, but now it seemed
to have a startling significance. Belts were tightened, and
nervous hands grasped their swords. But whither were they
to turn, or who would respect their authority now? Crowds
of swaggering, swearing men pushed by. all eager for the
combat. Now a yell for some peculiar institution of their
native city would rend the air, and then again would come the
sullen roar of the fighting mob. Now the sharp crack of
muskets was heard ; something must be done. Regiments
fresh from the road came pouring in, and halted in amazement
as they heard the sounds. Horsemen dashed here and there,
and amid the noise and excitement Mr. Wontus declared that
it was pandemonium, and asked to be led to a place of safety ;
but ere his request could be acceded to, a brigade of fresh
men came marching among the rioters, and the noise and con-
fusion soon after died away. All night long the wet and
weary troops were marching into the camp to find repose and
refreshment in the pools of water which surrounded them.
But such is the soldier's life in the field, and it came only to
be forgotten.
As Wontus doubled himself up on the wet grass at a late
hour, he mentally vowed that if it was his good fortune to
live through the night the army would lose at least one man
in the morning, and that man would be himself Wilkins
was among the missing, but Nidd was there, and if the weather
was bad the conveyancer was correspondingly disagreeable,
and he clung to his chicken as though his very life depended
upon it.
But little sleeping was done by anybody that night, and
the gentlemen were astir at the peep of day. The rain had
ceased, but the atmosphere was hazy and warm,
" I leave here to-day !" remarked Mr. Wontus, as he looked
at the clouds and then at his own wet extremities.
" You do ?" cried Nidd, grasping his fowl more tightly, and
speaking with more than his usual excitement.
" I do !" replied Wontus, decidedly. And then he spread his
plans before Nidd and Tommy. He would leave after a
mouthful of breakfast, and would return to Washington.
2i*
282 wo XT US, OR
" How do you propose to go?" asked one of the surgeons,
as Mr. "SVontus unfolded his plans over a cup of coffee.
'• Take a boat," cried Nidd.
The gentlemen shook hands warmly, and although Mr.
Wilkins was still absent, bid the surgeons good-by, and made
their way to the landing. Vessels were now there in abund-
ance, but neither love nor money could induce them to carry
a passenger, and after many vain attempts the departure was
postponed for another day.
Finely situated for the encampment of an army, the view
presented at the White House was one of unqualitied beauty.
Receding from the river, and high above it, a level plain, cov-
ered with luxuriant grass, stretched back nearly a mile, and
terminated in a gentle acclivity. Fine springs existed on
every side, and the neighboring fields afforded abundant rich
pasturage for the cattle. The infantry and artillery lay on the
plain, while the cavalry occupied the hill-side.
By noon on the day following the season of rain, the troops
were in the places assigned to them, and when the bright sun
came out the scene was so enchanting that Mr. Wontns would
have been loth to leave had the op})ortunity presented. Dur-
ing the day he exerted his most persuasive talent to induce
Mr. Nidd to either kill the fowl, which he guarded with so
much jealous care, or to deposit it in some safe place. But
Nidd would listen to neither proposition.
'• Here comes the two old cocks," cried a fticetious soldier,
as the gentlemen were wandering about the grounds.
'- There !"' cried Mr. Wontus. "do you hear that?"
" Sir," returned Nidd, elevating his head and speaking with
great digni^:y, •' I do hear it ; but I have heard other things
in my life which I paid no attention to. So I treat this."
" But you hold us up to the ridicule of the whole arm}^,"
returned Mr. Wontus.
" Sir, I paid one dollar in good silver money for this bird,
and I intend keeping it until it suits me. to do something else
with it."
Here the conversation dropped, and the arrival of Benjamin
Wilkins, who had a lengthy tale of experiences to tell, changed
the subject, and the corps of observation accepted the situ-
ation and set about makina- itself comfortable.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 283
CHAPTP]R XXV.
THE CORPS BECOMES EQUESTRIAN — WONTUS EXERCISES
HIS FAMILY STEED AND BECOMES EXERCISED HIMSELF
THE EMBALMING PROCESS, BY B. WILKINS, ETC.
I HAVE seen men in that peculiar condition called glorious,
and I therefore consider it perfectly proper for me to say that
Mr. Benjamin AVilkins was in a glorious condition during the
time that the party remained at the White House. The army
concentrated at this point, and Benjamin found many con-
genial companions among its ranks. As a member of a corps
of observation, which connection ^Ir. Wilkins made free use
of when speaking of himself, — his importance and knowledge,
always great, were now simply tremendous.
By the advice of some of his acquaintances, Mr. Wontus
had secured a new outfit for the party, and Nidd and himself
were each the owner of what he called nice family horses ;
that is, they were warranted to be gentle in harness, and per-
fectly sound. (All army horses answer this description.) A
desire to economize had provided Messrs. Thomson and Wil-
kin s with a pair of those docile, obedient, and generous little
animals called by ]Mr. Thomson me-ules, and the corps be-
came equestrian. Neither Mr. Wontus, Mr. Nidd, or Thomas
Thomson had ever bestrode an animal in their lives, and either
one of them knew quite as much about flying as they did
about riding a saddle-horse. AVith Wilkins the case was dif-
ferent. As " a man of the world," he had had unlimited
experience in riding, and was master of the art. He would
teach the others.
The weather was now clear and beautiful ; and the pleas-
urable excitement attending the concentration of the army,
together with the positive knowledge that the enemy had
taken himself to his intrenchments about Richmond, over
twenty miles away, gave to our friends such a comfortable
feeling, that Wontus declared his intention to remain awhile
longer, and soon after forgot that he had ever entertained the
idea of leavins:.
284 WOXTUS, OR
Yesterday the fields, hills, and vales were reveling in the
quiet beauty of nature. No sound save the warble of the
bob-o'-link broke the peace and stillness of the air. No living
thing save the wild animals of the forest pressed the sod
where to-day a hundred thousand men, with all the para-
phernalia of war, make the welkin ring with their shouts.
The miseries of the march were forgotten in the season of
rest. The past was a fast-fading panorama, in which the
bright features were treasured in the memory, while the dark
ones were passed over and buried in oblivion. Yesterday but
a solitary home broke the view ; to-day a city swarming with
people, with regular streets and rows of canvas houses, fills the
plain. The sutler, with his mixed mass of stores, has come,
and from early morn until " taps" at night his mart is
crowded with anxious buyers, who seek for goods without
questioning the price. And all this shall fade and pass away
as quickly as it came, and '' leave not a wrack behind."
'• How strange ! How wonderful it is !" soliloquized Mr.
Wontus, as he and Mr. Nidd stood and gazed down upon the
lively scene before them.
'' There goes the cavalry," remarked Nidd. suddenly, with-
out appearing to notice the sentimental humor of his friend.
" Now. where do you suppose they are going ?"
Mr. Wontus, of course, could not answer the question, and as
he watched the long, moving line, as it crossed the railroad and
moved ofi" around the hill, his eyes grew bright, and ere Mr.
Nidd was aware of it the short legs of his friend were carry-
ing the body which they belonged to down the hill at a won-
derful rate of speed. As he neared the camp he called lustily
for AVilkins, and when that gentleman made his appearance,
commanded him to saddle his horse without delay.
" Gear him up !" cried our hero ; " the cavalry are going
out on an expedition, and I shall accompany them."
The bystanders looked on in amazement as Mr. Wontus
stuff"ed his pantaloons into the red legs of his new boots, and
buttoned up his coat preparatory to mounting. The horse
was " geared up" after a time, but not by ^Ir. Wilkins. for
the moment that gentleman noticed the restless condition of
the " family animal," he found important business elsewhere,
and handed the quadniped over to the hands of the doctor's
servant.
THE CORPS OF onsEnvATwy. 285
" Whevr ! look out, dur !" wlioutod the servant, as with head
and tail erect the horse manifested his dislike for the jirocess
of "gearing up." "Look out, dar, ye 'fernal bis-scrcant !"
repeated the negro ; " de gen'man dun gone an' took de starch
out ye d'rectly, I'll bet ye." And following this speech, Sam,
the doctor's boy, rolled his luminous eyes in their sockets, and
cast peculiar glances at Mr. Wontus.
By the time Mr. AVontus was ready to mount, Nidd, Wil-
kins, Thomson, and a score of acquaintances had assembled to
witness the performance. It now occurred to Wontus that
perhaps he had been a little hasty in making up his mind, and
when he remembered that he had never undertaken such a
feat before, he expressed doubts as to his ability. The gentle-
men present averred that it was the simplest thing in the
world, and all that was needed was confidence. To prove that
there was really no particular talent required, Sam, the doctor's
boy, was directed to mount the horse, and he did it. It was
very simple,
" A man should never ride without spurs," remarked one
of the company, as Mr. Wontus nervously took hold of the
bridle.
" Certainly not," chimed the bystanders. And then it was
explained how headstrong some horses were, and how very
necessary it was that the rider should wear spurs, that he
might be better able to manage his steed. Mr. Nidd echoed
the remark, and ere Mr. Wontus had a very distinct idea as
to what was really going on, a pair of gigantic Mexican spurs,
with rowels as large as his hand, and bells which tinkled with
every step, were strapped to his heels, and it was announced
that he was now all right.
Sam had mounted without the slightest trouble, but Mr.
Wontus would have given considerable if he had never seen
the horse. But it was too late to back out now, and again he
seized the bridle. As he stepped to the side of his charger,
the bells tinkled ; the horse pricked up his ears and shied off.
He had heard the sounds before. Three different times did
our hero attempt to mount, with precisely the same result each
time. Assistance had been offered hhn at first but he had de-
clined it ; now he would accept the services of anybody. A
dozjn hands held the horse, and as many more assisted him to
mount. In the excitement he had forgotten all about the
286 wo XT us, OR
cavalry expedition, which by this time had disappeared over
the hill, and he sat on his horse — as we have seen little boys
do it — with indecision marked in every feature.
The wags which this big army contained could be counted
by thousands, and the gratification of a whim with a vein of
humor in it was the rule, never the exception. As we already
know, Mr. Wontus was of an innocent, confiding nature, and
therefore it was unfortunate that he should have fallen into
the present company. He had the love and respect of all who
knew him, but even that feeling could not be allowed to step
in and prevent the gratification of " a little fun." Not a bit
of it.
As Wontus sat on his horse, with a rein in each hand, he
was a picture, which, having been once seen, could not easily
be forgotten. His army life had taken nothing from his rotund
figure, and his lately purchased coat displayed it to the best
possible advantage. Two or three times he had endeavored
to place his feet in the stirrups, but at each attempt the horse
would shy and endanger his equilibrium ; so he sat there with
his short legs drawn up like the letter Z. the flaming red tops
of his boots glistening in the sun.
'• I'll lead him a little,"' remarked Mr. Wilkins. And. suit-
ing the remark by his action, he took hold of the bridle and
walked the animal around the tents. On his return Mr. Won-
tus's face wore a smile, and although the big drops of perspiration
stood out on his forehead, yet he seemed to have gained confi-
dence by his little experiences, and tried it once around alone.
He was getting more courage every moment, and he looked at
Nidd after a manner which seemed to say, " Don't you wish
you were me ?" It was now that the assembled company com-
mended him most highl}', and persuaded him to try a longer
and a faster ride. Most men are susceptible to flattery, and
Olympus Wontus was no exception. Of course he would, and
he started. His gait was slow at fii-st, because his horse ap-
peared to admire it, but with numerous " Get up, Dick !" and
various other remarks, which I find it impossible to write, he
finally persuaded a trot, which had no sooner commenced than
he wished that he had been less ambitious. Onward went the
liorse, and up and down, like a vertical shuttle, went the rider.
He would have reined up if he could, but he could not. for it
requii'ed both hands to hold fast to the saddle, to keep him in
THE CORPS OF ODSERVATION. 287
an upright position. Between the ups and downs he endeav-
ored to speak sootliingly to the animal, and thus cease his tor-
ment, but the horse was either deaf or perverse, for he paid no
attention to his rider, but jogged along in such a manner as
certainly cannot be appreciated by anybody who has not tried
it. " Whoa !" cried Mr. Wontus. And now he commenced
to seek for his stirrups. What an unfortunate seek it was !
No sooner had the horse felt the motion of Mr. Wontus\s legs
about his sides than he quickened his pace, and the ups and
downs were more terrible than ever before. "Stop! stop!"
cried our modern Gilpin. And he pressed his legs closer to the
saddle. But the horse did not stop ; on the contrary, the more
his rider shouted, and the closer he pressed his spurred feet to
the flanks, the faster he went, until at length he broke into a
lively gallop.
Poor riders were plentiful in the earlier stages of the war ;
therefore a greater part of Mr. Wontus's ride had only been
witnessed by those who saw him start. But now the scene
was growing interesting, and the faster the horse traveled an 1
the more his rider shouted the larger became the circle of
spectators, until he was the cynosure of all observers, and as
he galloped through the camps yells from ten thousand throats
added a new impetus to the speed of the charger. Away sped
horse and rider ; the latter the picture of despair, the former
frenzied with excitement. Caps and knapsacks flew into the
air as each camp gave forth its spectators, and cries of " Catch
him !" " Stop him !" " Here he comes !" " There he goes !''
rang in Mr. Wontus's ears like a summons to instant death.
Away over the hill and down the other side dashed the horse,
followed by a motley throng of soldiers. A. Virginia fence
barred flirther progress in that direction. The rider closed his
eyes, and throwing himself forward, grasped his steed's neck.
This movement naturally elevated Mr. Wontus's legs, and con-
serjucntly relieved the horse's flanks of the pressure of the
spurs, and in a moment the maddened animal, only too glad
to be allowed the privilege, halted, and his rider fell to the
ground in a state of complete exhaustion.
When Thomas Thomson and the other gentlemen arrived on
the spot, Mr. Wontus had so far recovered as to be able to
stand. He had sheltered himself in one of the many angles
of the fence, and was gazing with subdued rage at his " family
2 88 WO XT us, OR
steed," wlio was at that moment quietly refreshing himself on
the tender grass before him, as if nothing out of the usual
routine of aflfairs had occurred. What our hero's thoughts
were I am unable to say, for, contrary to custom, he gave vent
to no word that would indicate them. Somebody suggested
that he should remount and return to camp. Wontus looked
at the speaker savagely, but said nothing. Motioning to
Tommy, he took his arm, and without casting so much as a
glance at the source of his woe, he hobbled silently over the
hill, and in due time was among his friends. Once here, and
the discovery made that no serious damage had been sustained,
such sympathy as he received would have melted Mr. Nidd, and
that is saying a great deal. Following the sympathy came
encomiums of praise, and following the praise came full and
complete explanations as to how the accident occurred. Sam
had not "geared the horse up" in a proper manner, and on
Sam's broad shoulders the blame was rested.
" After all," said Mr. Wontus, as he sat talking over the
matter in the evening, " I think I did very well."
" Well?" echoed the doctor; "you not only did well, you
did gi-andly. I know of no man in the brigade who could
have done half so well." And thus our hero was impressed
with the idea that what had been a premeditated practical
joke was purely the result of an accident, and although he
felt bruised and sore, he retired to his tent feeling that the
courage he had exhibited was well worth the price he had paid.
He had been the first of the party to ride on horseback, and
now that it was over he was very proud of his exploit.
Mr. Nidd's fowl had been a source of some trouble to him,
for by day as well as by night he found it necessary- to keep a
vigilant giiard over his captive. It was not often he left his
quarters, but when he did he carried his chicken with him.
" You remember," said he one daj', when Mr. Wontus expos-
tulated with him, " when at Yorktown we were minus so much
as would fill a tooth ? Well, sir, I do not propose to be caught
in that scrape again, and as live stock will not spoil by keep-
ing, I propose to save this bird alive until the day arrives that
we shall need it."
As a class, soldiers are peculiar. They are all improvident.
The wants of the present satisfied, they have no care for the
future. In this respect officers and men are alike, as the pay-
THE COUPS OF OBSERVATION. 289
rolls of the former will testify. Mr. Wontiis appears to Lave
become inoculated with something of a like peculiarity, and
in the pleasure of the present he forgot that there was a future,
and would have persuaded the conveyancer to be of the same
mind as himself, if be could. But he couldn't, and the fowl
lived for a few days more.
Our friends were surprisingly healthy, and gained so much
strength and confidence with the passage of time, that when
the vanguard of the army reached Cool Harbor, ]Mr. Wontus
longed to see some of the operations, and resolved to make tlie
journey. Each of the gentlemen hud made himself familiar
enough with his beast to be able to sit upon his back without
fear, and when the hour came for parting Mr. Nidd was found
to have made his fowl flist to the cantle of the saddle, much
to the undisguised grief of Sam, the doctor's boy, and many
others. But at length the party started, with directions to
follow the well-beaten path then being traveled by the trains
of supplies.
As they passed along, Mr. Wontus was struck with the
number of embalming establishments which had sprung up
like mushrooms along the roadside, and whose flaming signs
met the eye on every hand, but it was reserved for Mr. Wilkins
to signalize the occasion by a burst of knowledge.
"What's that air?" queried Thomas Thomson of Mr. Wil-
kins, as they rode side by side in the rear of Wontus and
Nidd.
"That?" asked Wilkins, pointing to an embalming estab-
lishment, whose sign set forth the virtues of this particular
establishment over all others, and ended with a poetic efi"usiou
which placed the beauties of the dead being sent back to those
who were alive, looking as if they were not dead at all ; " that's
a 'balniin' place." And Mr. Wilkins proceeded to spell out the
words which he saw on the sign.
" 'Balmin' ! What's 'balmin' ?" asked Mr. Thomson, suddenly
drawing up his foot to keep it out of the way of his mule, who
desired to scratch his ear with his rear foot.
" And you don't know what 'balmin' is?" laughed Mr. Wil-
kins, who had succeeded in mastering the sign. He laughed
insinuatingly.
" No, nor I don't believe you do, neither," quoth Thomson,
with spirit.
N 25
290 wdxTUS, OB
"Ha, ha, ha!" continued Wilkins, "I thought you were
smarter than that."
" Well, now, how smart are 3-ou ?" queried Thomson, sneer-
ino-ly. Mr. AVilkins paid no attention to the remark, but con-
tinued his laughter.
" You're a thunderin' fool !" cried Thomson, " and I don't
believe you know anything howsmuch about it." Having said
this, the gentleman commenced a vigorous thumping on the
sides of his animal, and would probably have left his companion
behind had it not been that j ust at the moment that the mule
had evidently made up his mind to perform some astonishing
feats, the nature of which we can only guess at, Mr. ^Yilkin3
ceased laughing and said :
" Mister Thomson, without any p, supposin' you was dead."
" Can't s'pose," replied Mr. Thomson, angrily, tugging at
his bridle. '• Never was dead, and can't s'pose nothin' about
it, no more nor you nor any other man kin."
" Whew !'' whistled our experienced friend, at Mr. Thomson's
unusual display of temper." " Yes, but jist supposin' you were
dead."
" Well, s posin' I was."
" Well, if you was to die, I'd insist on havin' you 'balmed.
Don't you see, I think more of you than you was a-thinkin' I
did.'
Mr. Thomson looked more pleased, and drew nearer his
companion.
" Well," continued Wilkins, " now we'll just supposin' you
are dead, and the colonel's concluded to send your carca.ss to
New York, to that gal. Well, the next thing to be done
would be to turn your carcass inside out. (Thomson looked
amazed.) You see, that'd keep you clean and neat. Well,
after that was all done, then you'd have to be biled for a day
or two, and then hung up in the sun to dry off and get hard
a"in. Well, as soon as you was hardened enough, then you'd
be taken into that place, or one like it, — it all depends on the
price, you know, — and them fellers would stuff you with a kind
of ingredients which they have got and you'd be preserved
just as good as new ; there ain't nothin' in the world could
destroy you, particularly if you got 'em to insure you."
" You don't say !"' cried Thomson, with startling emphasis.
" A fact, as sure as shootiu','' replied Mr. Wilkins ; and then,
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 291
as if fearful of further questioning, he whipped up his animal,
and in a moment had joined Wontus and Nidd. For the rest
of the day Thomas Thomson was in a condition of painful
doubt, and more than once was on the point of renewing the
conversation on the subject, but each time had his intentions
frustrated by Mr. Wilkins calling his attention to the many
interesting things which presented themselves as they journeyed
along.
When evening came the corps of observation found itself
in strange company ; that is to say, of all the men who swarmed
about there was not one face that any of the party save Mr.
Wilkins, of course, could recollect as ever having seen before.
" Let well enough alone" is a maxim which, if the corps
had heeded, would have eased them of the discomfiture and
vexation which attended their efforts at securing quarters after
arriving at Graines's Mill. The army had but recently moved
into its new position, and as yet everything was unsettled.
But a charitably disposed quartermaster's sergeant was found
at last, and in consideration of the payment of a small sum
the party was permitted to consider one of his tents as their
temporary home. The boxes and barrels which filled the tent
could not be, or at least were not, moved, and while they came
in very handy as sitting-room furniture, Mr. Nidd complained
of them as inconvenient, and somewhat uneven as beds. But
they were pleased for all that, and Nidd consumed the greater
part of his time in feeding and watching his fowl.
It was during the first few days of the corps' new situation
that an accident occurred, which, although comparatively com-
mon, was nevertheless somewhat disastrous in its conclusion.
It is well known that Mr. Nidd was not the most liberal man
in the world, and as this trait of character is generally con-
ceded to carry with it more or less selfishness, it is fair to
presume that he was a little selfish. I certainly have no
desire to deal harshly with Nidd, but when I say that he and
the sergeant agreed to eat the treasured fowl some time when
they were entirely alone, I feel that I have done nothing more
than is proper, for that was precisely the agreement they had
made. Nidd, to his credit be it said, felt some compunctions
of conscience, somewhat ashamed of the matter ; and he only
consented after it was settled that the feast should take place
at some spot where the participants would not be likely to be
292 WOXTUS, OR
disturbed by any of the members of the corps. The prelimi-
naries being all attended to, the sergeant and Mr. Nidd pro-
ceeded some distance from their camp, and the fowl was pre-
pared for the pot, which Nidd's companion had procured for
the occasion.
The day selected was one on which Mr. Wontus and the
others had made up their minds to pay a visit to the right
wing of the army, and Nidd was sure that they would bo
absent all day, hence when the pot commenced to boil, he
sniffed the aroma which arose from its contents, and smacked
his lips in anticipation of the enjoyment. He would have one
square meal now, if he never got another.
It was noon when Mr. Nidd seated himself by the side of
his new friend, at a little distance from the fire, and commenced
a story, which would have continued much longer than it did
had the sergeant not interrupted by declaring that the fowl
must certainly be done. No second reminder was necessary for
Nidd to immediately proceed to the pot. feel the fowl with his
knife, and then declare that it needed still more cookins:. How
. . . . .
many times this operation was repeated it is unnecessary to
say ; let it suffice that the times were very numerous, and that
it was not until his patience was entirely exhausted that he at
last permitted the fowl to be lifted from the pot and laid on a
large flat stone which had been washed and warmed to receive it.
That the gentlemen were hungry there can be no question,
and while his companion proceeded to develop the contents of
his haversack, Mr. Nidd proceeded to endeavor to dissect the
fowl. It was an endeavor only, for the fowl not only refused
to permit the knife to be inserted into its joints, but success-
fully defied every other effort made to dismember it. The
sergeant tried it, and Nidd tried it again and again, and it
was only after he had exhausted every known effort that he
gave it up in disgust.
" Well," said Nidd, while the sergeant was still working on
the carcass, " I paid for that chicken, and I'm glad of it. I
consider it a relic of the past, for having purchased it on the
very ground where Washington was married. I feel perfec-tly
confident that, had it the power of speech, it could detail every
event of that interesting occasion. I'm sure it was there on
that day." As he ceased speaking he cast a look of mingled
regret and anger at what was to have been a '^ square" meal,
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 293
and slowly proceeded to assist his companion in endeavoring
to dispose of the homely fare spread before him. But the end
was not yet.
It is no exaggeration to say that the fowl had been boiling,
or was in the pot, at least since noon, and now it was growing
dark. Nidd was provoked, and as he lay upon the grass de-
bating in his mind how he would account for the absence of
the fowl the sergeant bid him good-evening, and departed,
leaving the conveyancer to follow at his leisure. He was in a
bad humor. He thought of the many steps he had taken on
account of that fowl, and of the abuse he had suffered, that
in the end he might enjoy the fruits of his courage and labor.
But now to haveit dashed from his very lips, when anticipa-
tion had heightened his appetite, was more than he could
calmly submit to. So he lay there and thought until the sua
went down, and darkness was coming on apace.
Mr. Nidd was not at all near-sighted, and yet he has it re-
corded somewhere in the pages before this one, that the tents
of the army all looked so much alike that even in daylight he
occasionally experienced trouble in finding his quarters ; and
this being true, his trouble at night can be readily imagined.
Retreat had sounded in the cavalry camp, still he lingered
ruminating, and it was full dusk when he gathered his long
legs and prepared to move homeward. What happened to
him on his homeward walk deserves a short chaDter of its
own.
CHAPTER XXVI.
IN WHICH GASCON NIDD HAS A STARTLING ADVENTURE.
The Signal branch of the sei-vice had not come to that con-
dition of perfection which characterized it a year or two after
the peninsular campaign ; but still it was found to be of im-
mense advantage, and was freely used by the different com-
manders. Flags did the work in the day-time, but at night
the flaming flambeau was brought into requisition, and at
times long lines of lurid torches could be seen waving and
25*
204 WOXTUS, OB
dancing in the air like jack-o'-lanterns, and extending from
the outworks or picket line far back into the gloom, where a
division commander sat in his tent and anxiously listened to
the reports which came to him by the fiery, silent messengers.
2sidd walked slowly in the direction in which he believed his
quarters lay, quite busy with his reflections, and the darkness
had come ere he commenced to wonder if he was going in the
right direction. There were men and tents all around him ;
but as each man and each tent seemed to look so much like
those which he wished to find, and yet were not, he became
more and more confused as he passed along. Dark, heavy
clouds obscured the stars, and when Mr. Xidd failed to find
the quarters he was looking for he declared that the night
was the darkest he had ever seen in his life.
Like many other people, Gascon Nidd seemed to have an
idea that because a man was a soldier, that he would certainly
be acquainted with, or at least have some knowledge of, every
other soldier in the army ; hence he believed all the men he
had asked as to where Captain Saltems's quarters were were
very ignorant because they could not tell him. He had fully
made up his mind to this, because he had failed to get any
information ; and now resolved to go it, as he said, on his own
hook. Now it seems that one of the lines of signal-lights,
before referred to, was occasionally operated somewhere near
his quarters, so when he saw a line of these lights waving
before him he quickened his steps and walked toward the
nearest one. As the light would wave and dance about for a
time and then suddenly disajfjiear, Mr. Xidd found it abso-
lutely necessary for him to keep his eyes firmly fixed upon
the spot where he had last see it, and in that way he trudged
along through swamp and brier, only to find when he reached
the desired place that the light had in some unaccountable
way moved to another spot still farther away than ever. But
he persevered, and at last, bruised and sore, reached a station
only to find, when there, that the men here were as ignorant
as to Saltems's quarters as those he had left behind. This
was most vexatious, and he was thoroughly disg-usted. He
permitted this feeling to go so far as to commence to think
that the best thing he could do would be to remain where he
was all night ; but he dismissed the thought with a curse,
and suddenly resolved to make one more efiort. This eff"urt
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATIOX. 295
had an unfortunate termination, and it occurred in this
wise.
In his peregrinations Nidd htid floundered into a dcej) and
bushy ravine, and while there had become tliorouglily bewil-
dered. Now he would be ankle-deep in the mud, and when
he struggled out he would find himself firmly held by the
l)ramble, which stuck into his clothes and flesh in a most
frightful way. Thus far he had kept up his courage, but
now so many difl&culties beset him that he commenced to
weaken, and he sat down on the trunk of a fallen tree and
was in despair. It was while he was sitting here W'Ondering
what was to become of him, that he saw a faint light glim-
mering through the tangled bushes. It was like the beacon-
light to the wrecked mariner, and the moment he satisfied
himself that it was not his imagination w^hich created it, he
rose and made his w'ay as fast as possible toward it. He had
lost sight of the beacon, but was pushing on through the brush
in a direction which he was sure was right, when suddenly
his steps were terminated and his blood almost frozen by the
cry:
" Halt ! Who goes there ?"
It was pitchy dark, and while the voice seemed quite near
him, Mr. Nidd could not distinguish the slightest semblance
to a human being. But he halted for all that, and held his
hand up before his eyes to convince himself that it was really
as dark as he thought it was, and that he was not going blind.
" Who goes there ?" cried the voice.
" A friend," said Nidd, most humbly. He had seen enough
of army life to know what was necessary, and he was now
doing his very best.
" Advance, friend, and give the countersign !"
" I haven't got it," replied Mr. Nidd, still more humbly than
before.
" Stand fast !" commanded the voice, and then Nidd heard
the sharp quick click of the lock of a rifle. It was only a moment
from the time that Nidd heard the clicking occasioned by the
man cocking his piece and the time of his speaking again, but
that moment was pregnant with a multitude of thoughts of the
mo.st distressing character. He w^as sure that the sentinel was
directly in front of him, and but a few paces off; he w^as also
equally sure that the man had his piece cocked, and that the
296 WOXTUS, OR
muzzle was directly covering his body. Now he knew that it
required very little pressure on the trigger to fire the rifle, and
he felt sure that if the unseen man who stood before him was
just one-tenth as nervous as he was, that the piece which was
covering his body would surely go off, and that that would be
the end of all his earthly calculations and prospects. He was
sure that this result must inevitably follow if relief, in some
shape, was not afforded immediately, and he felt very much
happier when he heard the sentinel cry out:
''Corporal of the g-uard, post number four, double quick!"
The fear of the sentinel shooting him by accident was still
lingering in Mr. Nidd's mind, and with it, but now more
prominently than the other, was the thought that perhaps in
his travels he had wandered through some break in the lines of
his friends, and was now about to be taken in hand by his
foes. He felt like speaking to the sentinel, but the fear that
by so doing he might disturb the man's nerves and thereby
have himself shot, deterred him, and he stood there as im-
movable and as silent as a statue, while the big drops of per-
spiration came out upon his face and rolled down his cheeks
unheeded.
It was not long ere the sound of the corporal's feet could
be heard crushing the dry twigs ; and when that individual
broke through the bushes with a lantern in his hand, Nidd was
delighted to notice that he wore the blue of the government.
The sentinel soon explained why he had called, and after the
light of the lantern had been thrown full upon the person of
Mr. Nidd, that gentleman was directed to advance. It needed
no second invitation, and in due time the hero of this chapter
was taken in charge and escorted to the headquarters of the
guard. Once here, he made a full explanation as to how he
had come into his present situation, and then desired that he
should be escorted to his own Cjuarters, which he now learned
with great surprise were but a few hundred feet away. But
this request could not be granted, for aside from the rather
suspicious circumstances under which he had been made a
prisoner, his looks were decidedly against him. But Nidd
could not rest. The fear which had guided his actions but a
little while since was gone, and he demanded to see the
general whose headquarters' guard he had been captured by.
He pressed this point so frequently and so determinedly that the
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 297
officer of tlio guard finally convoyed him to the quarters of his
coniinandiug officer, and he was ushered into the tent.
The officer was about retiring-, and Mr. Nidd I'ound the
greatest difficulty in satisfying him as to his loyalty and busi-
ness ; but when he mentioned Mr. Wontus's name, the gen-
eral commenced to think better of him, and after Nidd had
made many promises, which he forgot the moment he was safe
in his own quarters, a soldier escorted him home, and he crept
into his place among the barrels and boxes, and laid plans for
keeping his adventure from the knowledge of his friends. For
a long while he was successful in this, but the fact that it finds
a place here is evidence that it leaked out at last.
CHAPTER XXYII.
THE BATTLE OF FAIR OAKS THE CORPS UNDER FIRE
AN OLD CHARACTER IN A NEW PLACE — THE DESERTER
THE PURSUIT THE CAPTURE AND DEATH.
Day after day rolled by, yet tbe army did not enter the
foe's capital. When he arose each morning, Mr. Wontus
asked: " When will the army move?" and when he retired at
night the same answer was returned: " To-morrow !"
The railroad stations of portions of Virginia were much
like the miles : they were rather uncertain. To be on a rail-
road train and find the cars stopping, and hear the conductor
call out " Mulligan's Corner," is generally the signal for all the
passengers to quit doing everything else and gaze out of the
windows. Usually there is something to be seen at these sta-
tions, but many of the stations on the line between West
Point and the city of Richmond could not boast of anything
more attractive than an almost impenetrable wood, with a sandy
cart-road leading to some place, so far away as to be entirely
beyond the line of vision. Such a place, with a few clear
fields interspersed, was Fair Oaks Station in the latter part of
•May, 1862.
The morning of the 31st of May found Messrs. Nidd, Won-
298 WOXTUS, OR
tus, Wilkins, and Thomson riding in the order in which they
are named into the yard of a pleasjant-lookiiig brick house,
which stood on an eminence near to and on the north side of
the raih-oad. It was this house that gave the place the name
of Savage's Station.
Some days before, the troops of the left wing of the army
had advanced from the banks of the Chickahominy, and now
fifteen regiments, from nearly half as many Stiitcs, lay
stretched along the railroad to within six miles of the rebel
capital. They had been nearer, but the orders of the general-
in-chief had brought them back, and when Mr. Wontus came
among them the advance lines were in the vicinity of Fair
Oaks.
Mr. Wontus and his party had been so assiduous in their
attention to the sick, and so clever to all who came in contact
with them, that they were now well known and welcome in
any part of the army. AVontus himself was most active, and
his money was always at the command of those who needed
it ; many a sick cot and mess-table was rendered happy by his
generosity.
There was nothing prepossessing in the looks, manners, or
style of the gentleman who greeted 3Ir. Wontus as he dis-
mounted, yet there was something indescribable in his bluff,
off-hand speech well calculated to make the casual observer
single him out as a man worthy of attention.
" Ah, come to see us, eh?" The voice was sharp, accom-
panied by a sharp nasal twang. " Glad to see you ; but you'd
better remount and go back." As the general spoke, he put
forth his hand, and while he grasped Mr. Wontus's warmly,
his little gray eyes seemed to express more than his words.
The conversation which ensued was something like this :
" We thought " said Mr. Wontus.
" You better return," interrupted the general.
" That we would come over here "
" Better return !"
" Because we heard that "
" Better return !"
" It was very probable that
" Everything is probable."
" There would be an advance —
" You'd be better off at home !'
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 299
" Of this wing-
" Can't move
Whieli would penetrate-
" The capital of a certain nameless region 1"
"Richmond."
"Oh!"
"Yes."
" Take my advice, and return to the other side of that in-
fernal swamp immediately."
"Must we return?" Mr. Wontus emphasized the verb,
and looked at the general wonderiugly.
" Would be glad to have you, but "
"But what?"
" There is danger here. ^Ye are here to be shot at ; it s
our duty, our business ; but there is no occasion for you to
expose yourself."
" But where is the danger?" asked Mr. Wontus. And as
he did so he noticed that there was a strange quietness per-
vading the camps, that but few stragglers could be seen, and
that the horses were standing saddled and ready for their riders.
" Do you hear those shots off there to the left?"
"Pickets firing," remarked Mr. Wontus, turning his eyes
towards the spot indicated.
"Picket firing? Hark at that; pickets don't often fire
shots like that. And as he spoke the roar of a field-piece was
heard, quickly followed by the shrill screaming of a shell.
Leaving Mr. Wontus to his thoughts, the general gathered
his staff about him, and in a few moments a dozen young
officers were flying over the fields in as many different direc-
tions, and the companies were forming in the streets of the
camp near by.
Still, there was nothing to be seen, and Wontus and his
friends made themselves as comfortable as they could, and
waited.
It was now noon, and dark, heavy clouds hung like a tuneral
pall over the grounds soon to be dyed by the crimson blood
from a thousand brave, bright hearts. Certainly no more fit-
ting ground could have been chosen for a battle-field. Undu-
lati^iig, and dotted here and there with clear fields and thick
wood's and tangled swamps. Mr. Wontus looked with eager ex-
pectations at the preparations which were going on about him.
300 WOXTU.^, OR
Xidd and "Wilkins, wlio had overheard the conversation be-
tween the general and their senior, vehemently uru^ed the ac-
ceptance of his advice, but Wontus was deaf alike to their
counsel and entreaties, and announced his determination to
remain. "For," said he, "this was my original intention. I
cannot fight, but I can assist the sick and wounded, and I .shall
remain and carry out my original idea ; the idea which induced
me to leave New York and come here." As the gentleman
spoke, his eyes blazed, and his lips quivered with the excite-
ment which filled his bosom. The impending battle had lent
wing* to his imagination, and, as had become customary, he
already pictured himself inspecting the curiosities of the rebel
capital.
But the sounds were drawing nearer, and the soldiers took
their arms and were marched into the field beyond, and the
fight commenced. The troops of the gallant Casey were in
advance. Indications of the projected attack had made them
watchful, and when the enemy struck they found a foeman
worthy of their steel, and the bloody work commenced.
Onward swept the columns of the enemy, only to be driven
back and held in check until reinforced. First the left, then
the centre, and then the right met death without a quiver.
But this was but the initiatory ceremony, and again the solid
columns of the foe moved like an avalanche, and swept down
upon the devoted left. The flank was turned, the lines broke,
and the troops, fighting as individuals, slowly fell back. Help
now, or the day is lost. Hark ! rising above the din of mus-
ketry and the roar of batteries, a cheer breaks upon the ear,
and the men of Pennsylvania, New York, and Massachusetts
have come to the assistance of their comrades, and the battle
went on afresh. Onward pressed the foe, not in regiments,
not in brigades, but in swarms. They had driven our men
from the rifle-pits, and the heaps of dead and dying tell the price
of the victory. Casey's position was no longer tenable ; his guns
were hot, his ammunition scarce, and his brave men exhausted,
and then the short but feared retreat commenced. Couch's
line was reached, but how fearful was the loss ! ]Men passed
from life and activity to silence and death like snow-flakes in
the sun of spring, while the roar of advancing cannons and
the exultant yells of the enemy couvej'ed the idea that the day
was nearly won.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 301
And it rained ! , , . ^ n *i .
In an instant the light of day was almost shut out from the
earth, and the deep peals and clashing of Heavens mighty
artillery swelled upon the air, and sank man s grandest, most
wondrous aehievements into insignificance <> oomier become
the day, yet the battle raged unceasingly, while the clou( s
opened and poured down their deluge of water. Backward,
still backward, the struggling lines of blue were pressed ; dis-
puting each foot of ground as though it were a treasure, until tlie
sheltering banks of the railroad were reached, and then the toe
was compelled to fly to the shelter of the woods, there to pre-
pare for the onslaught which was intended to crush and anni-
hilate the left wing of the army of the Potomac
But the prayer which had been ascending all day was an-
swered, and the men from Long Island, and Maine and xNew
Hampshire came marching over the tottering bridges which
spanned the maddened waters of the Chickahominy. To the
rescue, or all is lost. The momentary lull was but the calm
which precedes the storm, and belts were tightened and mus-
kets clutched firmer, for a change is being made among the
divisions of the enemy, and long lines of men in gray cwiie
swarming along the road, and disappear m the woods But
the lines'^of men in blue are no longer inactive; close by, and
with a clear, smooth, undulating field between him and the
enemy, the batteries of Heintzelman are manoeuvring under
the cover of the thick woods. Twelve pieces have already taken
their places, and more are following. Their movements are
masked from the sight of the enemy by the dense foliage of
the trees, and no word is spoken. Determinationis stamped
upon the orimy faces of the artillerists, and while the thunder
ot^the fight is sounding away to the right and left, all is silent
here. Heintzelman knows the love which his foe kis for the
cannon of the government ; he has seen him on other fields,
and at other times, do daring acts that he might embrace the
ol)iect of his affection, and now he is about to profit by it. A
section of six-pounders are advanced from the line in the woods,
and take up position in the clear, open field beyond, i hey
stand in plain view of the enemy, and pour their shot and shell
iut(. his ranks as though he were but a harmless target.
The ruse succeeded; the exultant foe debouched from the
woods, and advanced across the plain, with drums beatin
^ and
1.0
302 WOXTCS, OR
flags flying. Still the artilleryman with his two lone pieces
played upon them. Onward they came, line after line, in one
Solid mass, stretching from the railroad on our right to the
AVilliamsburg road on the left. They came up like a division
on review.
" Double shot with canister !" rang from the line of guns in
the wood, and the command was quickly executed, and again
all was silent and motionless.
" Charge !" cried the rebel leader, and with a triumphant
j'ell, the men let their guns fall into their hands, and bounded
forward. Onward they came, and now the lunbers and caissons
of the two pieces in the field are reversed and hastily retire,
leaving the cannoneers to seek shelter where best they may.
This movement is the signal for another yell, and the guns are
captured. For a moment the lines seem to falter as though
their duty had been performed, and then again they advance.
'• Fire !"' The command rings from the line of guns in the
woods, and a score of cannons hurl their hundreds of missiles
of death and destruction in the solid mass of advancing men.
Wide, gaping avenues are mowed by the resistless canister at
point-blank range, and the dead and dying lay where they fell
like grass in the swath of the mower. The lines quiver and
break, but the officers rally their followers, and in a moment
are ready for renewed action. Still the guns belch forth their
hail of iron and lead. Again the reformed lines are broken,
and resist the efi"orts of their officer to reform them, and con-
fusion pervades the ranks. Men are seen to throw themselves
on the ground and seek shelter behind the prostrate forms of
their dead comrades. Frenzied with excitement, the officers
endeavor to cheer their men, but without avail. A third and
fourth attempt is made to renew the charge, but the murderous
fire from the guns has had its influence, and the men will no
longer face the wall of death. They break again ; they fly and
seek the shelter of the woods from whence they came, and the
setting sun now breaks out from among the clouds and tells
us that the day is ours.
During the night which followed, long lines of men from
the north bank of the Chickahominy came upon the field, and
the dawn of day found the gallant Sumner ready for the fray.
Fighting Dick Richardson was the first to receive the compli-
ments of the enemy, and right well he accepted them. The
THE CORPS OF OnSERVATIOX. 303
fields, still strewn with the dead and wounded of the day before,
were fought over and over again, until at last the enemy with-
drew to the former grounds of Casey, and assumed a defensive
position. Now was the time for the decisive blow, but it fell
not, and ere the midnight hour had come the enemy had re-
treated and taken up a new position.
During the fighting of the first day, and far into the hours
of the night, Mr. Wontus, accompanied by Nidd and Thomson,
had endeavored to fulfill their self-imposed duties, and many a
wounded, dying soldier had his lips moistened and his terrible
thirst slaked by the hands of the corps of observation. In the
misery which surrounded him, Wontus appeared to forget the
dangers and fatigues of the battle, and he labored as he had
never labored before. Nor was Mr. Nidd or Thomas Thomson
backward in coming forward, but each did his best. Early in
the action, Wilkins'had started to search for a spring of water,
and Wontus was charitable enough to believe that the reason
he did not return was because he was lost or had been taken
prisoner. Neither accident had occurred ; Mr. Wilkins and
his mule were both safe, and on their way to the haunts of the
sutlers in the rear.
:Mr. Wontus and his friends had spent the night in the j)its
with Richardson, and the dawn of day found them astir.
With the light came the rebel legions, still intent on the anni-
hilation of the left wing. The — th Pennsylvania, the — th
New York, and the — th Massachusetts were drawn up to
receive their earliest compliments, and acting under orders,
our hero threw himself on the ground behind the friendly
heaps of dirt, and awaited developments. As he lay there he
saw, or thought he saw, the fiice of a man he had seen before,
in the person of a young officer wearing the insignia of a
colonel, who dashed hither and thither with a bravery that
made Mr. Wontus shudder. Our hero, usually forgetful,
found that the excitement and stirring scenes about him
caused his mind to wander in so many directions that it was
not until the officer dismounted in front of him that he could
concentrate his faculties, and then he recognized the face of
Colonel Blakely.
" Good morning, colonel," cried Richardson, extending his
hand and speaking in a manner which characterized him ; '' we
are likely to have some more of the lively times of yesterday ;
304 woxTus, on
but, old fellow, you've been in the saddle all night ; you must
be weary ; come, take something-. Staff duty's not so liglit as
it might be. eh?"
Colonel Blakely returned the greeting of the general with
warmth, and then the conversation turned upon the aff.iirs of
the past, and Mr. Wontus learned that the wound which the
colonel had received at Brick House had been but a slight
affair, and that he was now acting as a staff officer of the
commanding general. He had been engaged all night iu
carrying instructions and posting the different commands. He
had fulfilled his duties, and now wanted to sec some of the
fighting.
It was while this conversation between General Richardson
and Colonel Blakely was going on that a man from one of the
regiments drawn up in line near by came to our hero and asked
for a chew of tobacco. He was referred to Thomas Thomson,
and while he was engaged in cutting a slice from that gentle-
man's plug, both Wontus and Colonel Blakely looked at him
as one often does at the men who pass him in the street, and
who resemble, in some strange, unaccountable way, the char-
acters of a dream. The man was dressed in the uniform of a
private, and was tall and commanding in his presence. His
face was surrounded with heavy black whiskers, and the pecu-
liarity of his walk gave him a highly military air.
As the soldier deposited the tobacco iu his mouth, he cast
a quick, anxious glance toward the lines of the enemy, and
then took his place in his company. As he passed Colonel
Blakely that officer looked at him as though he would read
his very thoughts, and then fell into a thoughtful mood, from
which he was soon awakened by the voice of the general call-
ing his attention to the lines of gray then fringing the woods
alone the Williamsburg road.
" It cannot be," muttered the colonel, as he cast his eyes in
the direction indicated ; •' and yet the walk and general bearing
of the man is the same."
''I have seen that individual before," solilofjuized Mr.
Wontus, as he watched the man take his place in the ranks.
He was about to call Mr. Nidd's attention to the matter, when
the action along the front became general, and he deferred it
until a more quiet opportunity should be presented.
Hours passed, each second of which were recorded by the
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 305
dying breath of brave men, and the battle was at its height.
The regiment from whose ranks the man who had attracted
the attention of our hero and the youthful colonel came, had
been held in reserve. They had stood manfully, where bullets
flew the thickest, awaiting the word of command. ^Ir. Won-
tus had watched the man with anxiety, and despite his best
efforts to the contrary, his eyes would wander to that portion
of the line where the strange face — strange because it was
impressed on his memory and yet could not be fixed — had
taken its place. There had been a lull of the din for a few
moments, and Wontus was just about turning his attention to
another direction, when the man whose face he felt so much
interest in, stepped quickly forward, and jumping over the
rifle-pits, loosened his belts, and with a wild shout threw his
gun aside, and sprang forward across the field in the direction
of the enemy.
" A spy !" " A deserter !" rang out from a score of voices,
and a hundred muskets were leveled at the flying man. ^ But
none dared shoot. With a cat-like spring, a lithe, sinewy
form had come up as it were from the ground, and with
mighty strides was following in the footsteps of the deserter.
^ Don't shoot, fellers !" cried a voice which Mr. Thomson
at once recognized as his old friend Birkill. " It's Blakely, —
Colonel Blakely ; an' a thousand to one he wins. The rebs
are retreatin', an' it's a long chase." A cheer greeted this
remark, and the dangers of the battle were lost in the excite-
ment of the chase. Nearly a mile now intervened betvreen the
lines of Casey and those of the enemy, and the country was
clear and level. Onward flew the deserter, and at his heels
was his pursuer. Men volunteered to go to his assistance, but
they were denied the privilege. Now he gains ; again he loses ;
he falls ; and the deserter will escape ; a shade of sorrow passes
over the faces of the men. Again he has him almost within
his grasp, and now a curl of smoke is seen to ascend from the
hand of the pursuer, and the deserter falters, swings his arms
in the air — falls.
Wontus and Nidd, who had been witnesses to the whole
afi"air, could no longer restrain themselves, and with a shout
from Nidd, such as was never heard before and will probably
never be heard again, the two gentlemen left their shelter and
made their way to the spot as fast as the short legs and short
26*
306 WOXTCS, OR
wind of ]Mr. Wontus would permit. It was probably fortunate
that Gorman at this moment struck the rebel left and drew his
attention in that direction, otherwise the little knot of men
who had assembled in mid-field, about the wounded man, might
liave come in for a disagreeable share of utt<intion. As it was,
they were unmolested.
" Is he badly hurt?" asked Wontus, between breaths.
" I hope not," remarked Colonel Blakely. '• I saw that if I
did not bring him to a stand-still quickly, that it was likely he
would reach the enemy's lines ere I could come up with him ;
so, after repeated warnings, which I am sure he must have
heard, I drew my pistol and fired. I am sorry "
" Not a bit, sir ! not a bit ! ' interrupted 2s idd. '• There is
no occasion for it. The man was not only attempting to desert
from his command, but was endeavoring to play the part of a
spy, and carry information to the enemy. There is no occasion
to be sorry for what you have done, sir ; not a bit. A few
more men like you, sir, would "
" AVe had better carry him to the rear," interrupted the
colonel, who evidently had no desire to listen to his own
praise.
The wounded man lay on the ground, his eyes closed and
his face wearing the appearance of death. As Mr. \Yontus
stooped by his side and parted his lips, that he might pour a
little water into his mouth, the crimson tide from his heart
came gushing forth, and a convulsive shudder ran through his
frame.
"Thank Heaven, he is not dead!" exclaimed the colonel,
who had been an anxious witness to the scene.- " Now let us
get him to the rear, where a surgeon can be found. It is dan-
gerous here."
A blanket was procured, and the prostrate form of the de-
serter lifted into it, and in that manner conveyed to the hos-
pital, established in the shade of the pine-trees which had
masked the cannon on the day before. It was during the
walk to the hospital that Mr. Wontus entered into conversa-
tion with Colonel Blakely, and expressed the idea that by
some singular accident, fur which he could not then account,
the man had impressed him when he first came to him and
asked him for tobacco, and he found it impossible to dismiss
him from his thoufrhts.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATTON. 307
" I feel sure," remarked the colonel, " that I know the
man." And as he sjioke a shade of sorrow passed over his ex-
pressive face ; but in a moment he continued : " Yes, I feel
sure that I know him, and yet the circumstances of to-day and
those under which we last met are so widely different from
what I should reasonably expect, that I am half inclined to
believe that, after all, I must be mistaken."
The colonel ceased speaking, and fell into a contemplative
mood.
Wontus was completely mystified by the language of his
companion, but he refrained from intruding upon him by
questioninp:. and they followed along in silence.
The fighting had now fairly ceased, each combatant feeling
satisfied to remain on his own gTound without disturbing his
antagonist. The muskets of the troops were stacked, and the
men at " rest" in line of battle. Each looked forward to a
renewal of the fight.
" It is comfortable," remarked Mr. Nidd, as the blanket
containing the deserter was deposited on the moss-covered
ground, " to have this infernal shooting at an end. It is
wearisome, to say nothing of the danger."
As Nidd spoke, a surgeon made his appearance, and the
gentlemen assembled around to hear his report of the case.
Among these jMr. Nidd was foremost. The blanket was rolled
down, and as the surgeon turned the man upon his back, Nidd
gave vent to an exclamation of surprise, and then grasping
Mr. Wontus's arm, led that gentleman aside, and whispered
that he knew the man.
" You do ?" asked Wontus, in surprise.
" I do !" answered Nidd, decisively.
" I thought /did, but I can't place him," returned Wontus.
" You can't ?" And ]Mr. Nidd held his friend off at arms-
length and looked into his face with the air of a man who
doubts.
" Well, I think I know him ; but you know my memory is
not very good, and I've forgotten where I have seen him."
Mr. Wontus spoke sorrowfully.
" Not know him?" cried Nidd again.
Mr. Wontus declared that he did not.
" Do you recollect the man that brought us the word of
Wilkins's arrest in Philadelphia?"
308 wo XT US, OR
" Yes."
" Do you recollect his peculiar style?"
" Yes."
" Don't you remember his name?"
'• I do not," replied Wontus. reflecting.
" Wasn't it Flick.— Major Flick ?"
Mr. Wontus stood back airhast. He was startled as thou<xh
a stream of electricity had suddenly passed through his frame,
and for a moment he was speechless.
" It cannot be !" he cried at length.
" It is !" replied Nidd.
" Let me see," cried our hero. And he pushed his way
through the crowd, and for a moment stood looking into the
now upturned face in silence. " Colonel," said he at length,
addressing Blakely, " I know that man. I met him in Phila-
delphia. He was then a major on secret service, or at least
represented himself as such, and I am surprised to see him
here. His name is Flick !" Mr. Wontus looked about him
as though he deserved credit for the developments he had
made.
Colonel Blakely raised his eyes from the ground, but made
no reply. A deeply solemn look overspread his foce, and his
thoughts seemed to be far away amid the scenes of Alabama.
The lovely form of a bright and beautiful girl was once again
by his side, and the rich blood of 3'outh came unbidden to his
cheek. It faded and was gone in a moment, and his eyes
wandered to the form which kiy stretched before him. Mem-
ory, quickened by a face that was branded on his heart by
injustice and cruelty, now presented a different scene. He
saw himself again the reviled visitor where he should have
been the flivored guest, and felt anew the pangs of grief
caused by the cruelty of a love that once was his. Again the
scenes of his undeserved disgrace came before him, and he
clutched his hands and his brows knit with the recollections
of his pain. And now he lies there, a wounded, dying man,
and by the hands of the man he has so deeply, so cruelly,
wronged. The author of his misery, the fountain from which
sprang his first moments of bitterness, is here as helpless as a
babe, and in his power. Suddenly he raised his head, and a
brighter and more cheerful look has overspread his counte-
nance, and as he stoops to c^uestion the surgeon as to the
THE conrs of onsEHVATiox. 309
nature of tlie -wound, a deep sigh escaped his lips : " Th^ will
be done /"
'' He is dying," rcmavked the surgeon ; " the ball has
passed entirely through his body, in the immediate neighbor-
hood of the heart, lie must bleed to death ; no power on
earth can save him."
Men who had faced death in all its hideous forms, and had
heard the cry of the wounded and the dying, stood in silence,
and a shudder ran through the group.
"Dying — will bleed to death?" The man opened his
eyes, and his voice sounded hollow and thin. " Water !" he
gasped, and the sympathetic hand of Mr. AVontus was
stretched toward him in a moment. " Dying ! me dying ? oh,
no, do not tell me that !" And again his eyes closed and all
was silent.
" I must leave you," whispered the colonel to Mr. Wontus.
" Do whatever lies in your power to make him comfortable,
and when all is over be kind enough to report to me at head-
quarters."
" Stop !" The dying man opened his eyes again and threw
them full upon the face of the officer. He would have risen,
but weakness and the friendly hand of Mr. Wontus prevented
him. " Do not go now," he moaned ; " I know you, — I have
done my worst, and my course is nearly run."
" Never mind, my man," said the colonel, soothingly.
" Keep perfectly quiet, and you may see better days yet."
"Ha, ha!" The laugh was bitter and defiant. "You
would pretend you did not know me ; I know you do know
me ; I knew it this morning, but I little thought that you
were the man that would bring me here." He ceased speak-
ing for a moment and appeared to be in great pain. " God be
merciful," he continued ; " I have deserved much, but not
this. (Blakely was moving oiF.) One moment," cried the
suffering man, " I have much that I wish to tell you ; I will
soon pass away ; it will relieve my soul to tell it. I have dis-
graced myself and all who belong to me ; I married the girl
you loved, — the girl who loved you, and from that day I have
drank the dregs of bitterness. I sought it not ; it sought me,
and I was powerless to resist. I played the part of a spy in
Washington, and tiring of that I returned South and joined
my regiment, only to desert and play the part of a Yankee in
310 wax TVS, OR
the cities of the West and North. (Xidd and Wontus ex-
changed glances.) I was without money, and I became a
politician and a recruiting agent."
'' Your wife?" interrupted the colonel.
" She is — I know not where," groaned the major. " I have
not seen her since I left Washington."
Mr. Wontus was about to si3eak, but he was prevented by
the niitjor, who continued to relate how he had inveigled men
into the army for the little money he made by it, and how he
finally enlisted himself, with the determination to desert at the
first opportunity, and convey what information lie possessed to
the authorities at Eichmond. " I knew," he continued, after
moistening his lips. " that I would be well known there, and
that my action would be applauded." x\gain he ceased speak-
ing, and the whisper went round the circle that he was passing
away.
" No, no," gasped the dying man ; " I am not dying. I am
not fit to die. There are those that I would like to speak to ;
I have much to say. See, I am not dying." And as he spoke
he raised himself up, only to faW back into Wontus's arms in
a swoon. The effort had been too much for his exhausted
strength, and the blood flowed in a stream from his mouth.
His eyes were already sunken and glassy, and his groans were
growing fainter. The scene was most afiectiug; and while
none that were here now had been acquainted befoi*e, yet the
knowledge that each possessed of the other, and the circum-
stances that had brought them together, seemed to bind them
as a circle of friends.
The movement made by Wontus in passing the dying man
into the hands of Nidd and the colonel started the spark of
life anew. " Kate — mother," he muttered. " I curse myself"
And he ceased to speak forever. Gently the body was laid
upon the sod, and as the hands of Colonel Blakely covered the
body with a blanket, a tear stole into Mr. Wontus"s eyes, and
his thoughts flew back to the invalid in Washington.
In a rifle-pit which skirted the railroad midway between
Savage Station and Fair Oaks the body of the deceased was
deposited ; and as the warm, wet earth fell upon the unknown
corpses which lined the bottom of the ditch, Mr. Wontus, who
had been a silent spectator, stepped aside and fainted. The
excitement had overtasked him.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 311
CHAPTER XXVIII.
MR. NIDD TAKES A RIDE, AND HAS AN UNEXPECTED MEET-
ING WITH HIS RIVAL.
Mr. Wontus was not alone in the idea that the moment
was now at hand when the backbone of the rebellion would
be broken by the entrance of the armies into Richmond, and
that the moment which should witness the deed was near,
very near. Certainly fifteen millions of people were with him
in the belief, and wore correspondingly happy. Of these,
eighty thousand men, armed and equipped for war, were about
him, each feeling assured that the decisive moment was at
hand. Few meu, if any, believe at the commencement of a
battle that they individually have been chosen for the sacri-"
fice. It is a welcome, but perhaps a selfish, thought, that the
comrade on your right, and he on your left, will perhaps fall,
but that you are to be saved ; and yet so it is, and fortunately
so, for much grief and pain are hidden in the thought.
The morning of the 13th of June, 1862, broke clear and
beautiful ; but it was not the only thing that broke that morn-
ing by any means. Since the commencement of the war
" miisked batteries" had been epidemic, but now a new disease
broke suddenly forth, and without a note of warning played
sad havoc not only with the material of the army but with
the morals of the men composing it. The new disease was a
" raid," but as yet it had affected but one side. " Everything
quiet in every direction,'' wrote the commander to the Presi-
dent. While he wrote, fifteen hundred of the enemy were
gobbling up prisoners and destroying stores and communica-
tions on the road between his headquarters and his base of
supplies. The first intimation which most of the men of
the army had of the event was three days after, on the arrival
of the mails.
It was on this interesting occasion that Mr. Nidd found
himself on a train of cars on his way to the White House in
quest of provisions for the mess. It was full three days be-
312 wo X TVS, OR
fore he would vcutiire to return, and when he did so he gave
the following explanation to clear up the mystery of his
absence. Said he : '' AVe were going along over the road
smoothly, and were just going to slacken up for water, when
I heard an unearthly yell, accompanied by the clatter of small-
arms. It was the first intimation we had of anything in the
shape of an enemy being anywhere near us. Our train was
made up of about ten or a dozen freight cars, and I was on
the enuine.
" • There's the rebels !' shouted the fireman, pointing to a
field adjoining the railroad, and he threw himself at full length
on the wood-pile in the back part of the tender. I was some-
what startled, — I may have been frightened for the moment,
— and on looking around, I saw about three hundred ranged
along the railroad, tiring away at us as if it was a glorious
piece of fun, and I guess it was, but I must acknowledge that
I didn't enjoy it, at least not at that time. ' Down ! down !'
cried the engineer, and, Avith a courage and presence of mind
which does him honor, the fellow pulled the throttle-valve out
to its greatest limit, and then both of us took our places with
the fireman on the bottom of the tender. Without waiting
to say ' by your leave,' or even ' good-by,' the locomotive
dashed over the rough track, and before we were well collected
in our thoughts, the yells and shouts had died in the distance,
and we went dashing into the White House as though the
devil himself had sent us.
" The news of the raid had preceded us, and when we
told our story the excitement and confusion among the army
of sutlers and others was beyond description. Men seized
horses wherever they could and prepared for flight without
knowing which direction to go, and the quartermastei-s were
busy moving their stores aboard the transports. Seeing all
this, and not knowing exactly what was the matter, I reflected
on my favorite maxim, that self-preservation is the first law
of nature, and then concluded to take care of myself
" You recollect the bank and underbrush by the side of the
railroad near the spring," continued the speaker to Mr. Won-
tus. " Well, just as I noticed the place, somebody cried,
' Here they come !' and not being able to get on board any of
the vessels I made for the bank, found a neat hole, well shel-
tered from view, which I undertook to crawl in. But I
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 313
couldn't. There was somctliliii;- or somebody else there before
me, but as there was no time for ceremony I took all the risks
and crawled in as far as I could. I touched a foot ; it shrunk
up. I grasped further and touched a leg. (Mr. Wontus
shuddered.) That foot and that leg belonged to somebody,
that I knew ; and as we were likely to be companions for a
time, I thought I'd find out who it was.
" ' Say,' said I, calmly, for fear 1 might make a mistake ; but
I received no answer.
" ' Say,' I repeated ; but still no answer. The thought struck
me, perhaps the man is dead. I felt his leg ; it was warm, and
I think it trembled a little. I was now pretty well interested
in a new direction. I waited a little while and then thought
I would try something new.
"'They are right on top of us!' I cried, in a startling
whisper. A groan, an unearthly groan, answered me, and I
crowded up closer."
" Weren't you afraid ?" asked Mr. Wontus.
"Yes," continued Nidd, "I must acknowledge that I felt
rather strange, but I felt that the man in front of me was feel-
ing worse than I was ; I apprehended danger from the outside
only. But to continue.
" ' Isn't it pretty uncomfortable in here ?' I asked. Another
groan, deeper and more distressing than the others, was the
only reply, and then everything was silent."
"I'd a' pulled him out," cried Mr. Wilkins, with spirit.
Mr. Nidd made no reply, but casting a withering glance at
the speaker, continued : " I was in the hole, I guess, as much
as ten minutes ; but the heat was so intolerable and the air so
close that I must either get out or die ; so I backed out. There
was plenty of excitement about still, but I saw nothing like
fi»;htin.i>;, and in the course of half an hour the scouts had re-
'm
turned, and everything had become more settled. The scare
was pretty well over.
" Wait a moment!" commanded Mr. Nidd, as Wontus was
about to say something. " I'll soon finish it now.
" ' Halloo, there !' I shouted to the man in the hole. ' Come
out ! it's all right !' No answer. Perhaps the man will die,
I thought ; perhaps he might smother. So I cravrlcd in a little
way and took hold of his foot. ' Come out,' said I, ' it's all right.
The enemy have gone.'
27
3U WOXTUS, OR
" ' You want to come in here yourself.' suiJ the voice.
" ' Don't be a fool !' I continued. ' What would I want to
come in for ? I am outside, and as there is nobody here to
harm me, I'll stay here.'
" ' Are they all gone ?' asked the voice, with more spirit
than it had yet evinced.
" ' All gone,' said I. I could hear the fellow working him-
self out, and I stood and watched for his appearance. First
one leg came out, then the other, and then he stopped.
" ' What's the matter ?' I cried.
" ' Are they really gone ?' asked the fellow, peeping out from
under his arm.
" ' Certainly,' said I.
" ' They're not !' said the fellow, and suddenly he commenced
working back into the hole again. I thought perhaps the man
was somewhat unduly frightened, and to get him out of that con-
dition as soon as possible, I took hold of one of his feet, and
before he knew exactly what was the matter, I dragged him
out and took a glance at him. A man stood before me who
looked as though he had done himself up in such a style as to
be able to pass himself off for a lump of clay. He was mud
from head to foot. His parents wouldn't have known him.
" ' You appear to have been somewhat frightened,' said the
fellow, as if he had done me a great favor by coming out of
the hole.
" I could have butted my head against a tree," cried Xidd,
rising from his seat as he spoke, his face assuming a livid hue.
" The man I did not know ; the voice I did : it belonged to
Scribendi !"'
On this announcement, Wontus laughed most heartily, and
it was only after considerable trouble that Mr. Nidd could be
induced to finish the story, which was to the effect that the
moment Edward Pason Montcalm Higginson. otherwise Scri-
bendi, brushed the dirt from his person, he proceeded directly
to the headquarters of the officer in charge, and there related,
in the most particular way imaginable, exactly how he had
fought some half a dozen of the enemy until he was felled to
t1ie ground and left there for dead. He went further than
this, and announced that no fears of an attack should be appre-
hended, as he had watched the enemy — exactly how many he
could not tell — cross over the river a few miles distant. But
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 315
what warmed Mr. Nidd more than all the rest was the fact
that such were the airs and graces of the man that none seemed
capable of doubting his word, and he (Nidd) was too angry
to be able to disabuse their minds of the deceit practiced upon
them. He did undertaJie to relate the facts to one or two
officers whom chance threw in his way, but they seemed to ac-
cept his story as the tale of a harmless lunatic, and passed it
by w^ith a wink and an incredulous smile.
" Why, he's not a patriot !'" cried Wontus, at the finishing
of the recital. " He has no business to be here. A man like
that, besides being a coward, is a liar, and can't be trusted !"
Mr. Wontus's voice and manner were that of a man who
deeply felt all he said, and ere anybody had an opportunity
to disprove or verify his assertion he had gone off into such a
quantity of abuse that a stranger coming in just at this time
might imagine that he was the party who had been stung.
The moment an opportunity offered, Mr. Nidd opened his
vocal batteries in his own peculiar style, and from the manner
in which his eyes rolled and snapped I infer that the presence
of Edward Pason Montcalm Higginson at that particular mo-
ment would have been the signal for a scene.
" You thought," cried Nidd, turning to Mr. Wontus, "that
I disliked that man without cause ; that I was prejudiced
against him ; that I fancied he stood in my way in a matter
not necessary to mention here. Well, sir, you were mistaken.
He is a counterfeit, — the spurious y«c-si*»i?7e of a gentleman,
with all the details well attended to, but a bad signature, — a
very bad signature, because it contains all the elements of an
imitation in every line. Why, it looks as though it would
insinuate itself into your confidence and respect by its very
shape. But it's bad. I knew it the moment it discovered
that we were not the men it took us for when it first presented
itself to our attention in Philadelphia."
The vehemence and bitterness of Mr. Nidd had a soothing
influence on Wontus, and assuring his friend that he would
never be deceived again, the gentlemen proceeded to dispose
of the trifles which had been secured at the White House, and
in the stories which fell from the lips of genial souls who had
been invited to participate the experiences of Mr. Nidd were
forgotten, although that gentleman persisted in having the last
words, and they were entirely too vehement to be polite.
316 woyrus, or
CHAPTER XXIX.
AN EXCELLENT CHAPTER, BECAUSE IT IS SHORT, AND AC-
COUNTS FOR SOME THINGS NOT ACCOUNTED FOR BEFORE.
In conversiition Gascon Xidd invariably spoke of the ladies
in a way strangely at variance with his conduct when in their
presence. He resembled in some degree those insects which
flutter in and about the city street lamps in midsummer.
Those that are inside seem to desire to be out, and those out-
side seem to be exerting all their powers to get in. In other
words, before his wife's death, he was constantl}- preaching
how much better off a bachelor was than a benedict ; but as
a widower his actions belied his words, and he seemed ready
to assume the hymeneal noose whenever opportunity presented.
Being of a cynical turn of thinking, however, he frequently
selected in his mind the woman he would marry, and just as
frequently determined to look further before he acted. And
he was sly, very sly, in all his movements in this direction, for
while Mr. Wontus was familiar with the fiict that he (Xidd)
had had a desire to cultivate an intimacy with Mrs. Squirm,
yet he had no idea that that lady's image was still lingering in
the mind of his friend. But the image was there, and why
it lingered was because Mr. Xidd was in possession of certain
intelligence, which may, in a manner, account for the hatred
which he felt for Edward Pason Montcalm Higginson, other-
wise Scribendi.
How Mr. Xidd ever developed the fact will probably never
be known, but a fact it is, that he was in the possession of
the knowledge that Mrs. Squirm, in whose house the corps had
lodged while in Philadelphia, was the sole owner of a given
number of thousands of dollars, which were invested in sun-
dry back-allej- houses, which houses rented at very high
prices and were therefore valuable. Xow, whether these back-
alley houses had anything to do with Xidd's regard for the
owner of the houses, I cannot say. but I am inclined to be-
lieve that they had. In fact, he had frequently made up his
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 317
mind that on his return from the war he would propose to
these baek-alley houses, and if accepted, would move to the
Quaker City and spend the remainder of his life in ease and
comfort. He knew that the idea was a selfish one, and he
wondered what kind of a reception he would meet w^th at
the hands of Mrs. Squirm in case he carried it out. This was
a question which he frequently propounded to himself, and
at length he settled himself down into the belief that if one
man — just one man — was out of his way, there would be but
little difficulty in his prosecuting his claim successfully.
There, and only there, he believed, lay the trouble of a suc-
cessful suit. He was vain enough to think that but few
w^omeu could resist his overtures ; but he felt that in the per-
son of Mr. Higginson he had a man who was at least danger-
ous. "He's so plausible," he would say; "and has got so
many ways about him which are false, but which look so nice
on the surflice, that there is scarcely one woman in every one
thousand who wouldn't take him for the genuine article."
And then he regretted that he was without those elements
which would enable him to make people believe that he was
what he was not ; and he turned the matter over in his mind
many times, and found but one solution to the difficulty. The
man, Mr. Higginson, must be got rid of But how was this
to be done ? Of course men disappeared in the army and were
never heard of afterwards, and no questions were asked ; but
Nidd recoiled from the idea of doing the act himself, and he
lived on with \h.Q hope that accident might do the work
which he could not do himself.
CHAPTER XXX. *
TELLS OF COLONEL BLAKELY's LOVE THE CHANGE OF BASE
AND WONTUS'S REINFORCEMENT OF THE ARMY.
For nearly a month after the battle of Fair Oaks, the army
maintained its position in front of the rebel capital, and Mr.
Wontus found himself and his party the welcome guests of
Colonel Blakely.
318 WOXTFS, OR
Mr. Wontiis had commniiicated all the infunnation in his
possession concerning Mrs. Flick to his friend, and after a great
deal of trouble Mr. Wontus had written to the lady, inform-
ing her of the death of her husband. He was careful not to
harrow her already wounded feelings by the recital of the cir-
cumstances attending her husband's death, and studiously
avoided (by request) any mention of Colonel Blakely in con-
nection with the affair.
Wilkins, whom we left on his way to the White House at
the commencement of the battle of Fair Oaks, had returned.
Nidd had become well acquainted through the army, and was
valued by those who admired candor and plain speaking. The
battles at Hanover Court-House and Mechanicsville hud taken
place ; the different railroads leading toward Washington from
Richmond had been " raided " and tapped, and everything was
ready, if I may except the commanding general for the attack
on the rebel stronghold. McCall had come with liis troops,
and the people of" the country were waiting with breathless
anxiety for the end, which had been promised them day after
day for weeks.
And it rained.
I cannot undertake to relate, or even epitomize, the conver-
sations which took place between our friends and Colonel
Blakely. Let it therefore suffice for me to say that they un-
derstood each other perfectly. At times Wontus was almost
sorry that he had met Blakely, for while he would not ac-
knowledge, even to himself, that he was in love with the widow,
yet for all that he sometimes caught himself wamdering whether,
now that her husband was dead" the old love for Blakely woujd
not come back again, and the two hearts join as one. In vain
he endeavored to chase the thought away ; but it would linger,
and like a phantom present itself to him on the most unex-
pected occasions. Once he thought to rid himself of the affair
by leaving the hospitable quarters of the colonel,.for he had
often heard that " out of sight was out of mind/' and he would
rid himself of his thought's concerning the colonel by taking
his departure.
He was running this idea through his head one afternoon
as he sat alone in the shade of the pine-trees, when the object
of his thoughts came upon him unnoticed, and asked him, in a
jovial way," why he looked so sad. At most other times
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 319
Wontus would have avoided the question, but now, without
knowing exactly why, he made a plain, unvarnished statement
of his condition, and added that while he knew it was pi'obably
foolish and uncalled for, yet he could not help it, and now that
it was out he felt better.
A smile of intelligence spread over the colonel's countenance
as our hero commenced to speak,, which after a time disap-
peared and gave place to a look of unfeigned sadness.
" I have heard her speak of you," continued Wontus, " in
such terms, that I am led to believe that under the })rescnt
circumstances a reconciliation might easily be eftected," His
manner was that of a man who was making a confession which
he did not want to make and yet found it impossible to hold
back.
" ;My friend," remarked the colonel, sitting down and taking
Mr. Wontus's hand in his, " it has been a part of my life to
avoid seeing this lady, or hearing anything from her ; there
has been too much grief, too much bitterness, attached to the
recollection of her to induce me to seek to hear her name men-
tioned. For months she has been dead to me, and I have
striven to forget her. How strange is life ! The capture and
death of Flick ; the meeting with you and the words you have
been able to communicate to me concerning those who have
been dead to me so long, seem like the visions of a dream.
And that I, the man who was so deeply, cruelly, wronged,
should be the means of sending my rival to his grave ! The
thought is terrible, yet I simply did my duty. No, no, my
friend ; I have nothing to say for or against the woman I once
so fondly loved. I have struggled to tear her image from my
heart ; it is gone, and the place is occupied by sadness ; to me
she is a neuter, — a plant that has been moved from my flivor-
ite spot, never to be replaced. I look forward to the time
when a new love shall come, but I fear it is far distant ; the
plant which was strong in the sunlight of other days has been
smothered, its bright colors deaden<?d, and its very root torn
up, and burned on the altar of sacrifices." As he spoke, his
voice grew lower and sadder, and his whole form seemed to be
filled with a grief which he was vainly endeavoring to conceal.
For a time he sat in silence, his fingers nervously clutchinp-
the hand of Mr. Wontus, and liis eyes fixed upon the ground,
as if he saw among the mess and roots at his feet the pictures
320 WOXTUS, OR
of the past. Mr. '\\''ontus silently contemplated his friend, his
own troubles swallowed in the sympatlu' he felt for the man
he had learned to love.
" My friend," continued the colonel, " my confidence in
woman has been shaken. I have ever tried to be an honor-
able man myself, and have looked for the same honor in
others. An impression once made is hard to eradicate. I
find I have been mistaken, and now I must await the time
when nature shall restore to my heart those purer feelings,
which cruel wrongs have driven out."
" But I feel that a reconciliation could be easily effected,"
remarked Mr. Wontus, persuasively, as a man often does
when he feels that he ought to say something.
" Xever !" cried the officer, raising his head and sjieaking
spiritedly ; and then quickly relapsing into his former mood,
he continued : " Xo, no ; it can never be. She knows full
well the cruel pain she has inflicted upon me ; I could not
drive their imprint from my memory. For us to live together,
I feel, would be torture which could only end in death. I
shall avoid her in the future as I have in the past. She shall
have my best wishes for her prosperity, but no act of mine
can ever contribute to it. This may be wrong, but it is my
nature; I cannot help it. I forgive her freely; nothing
more."
He ceased speaking, and a moment after, as though a sud-
den thought had occurred to him, he turned to his listener,
and said :
" You will see her — perhaps you will see her again. If
you do, do not mention my name to her in any connection
whatever. Let it be as though you and I had never met.
This I ask as a favor ; you will grant it ? I know you will."
He was now looking into Woutus's face with anxiety pic-
tured on his countenance, and as our hero's glance met his,
Wontus promised that his request should be respected. But
he never, no never, expected to see her again. That our hero
believed what he said, and intended to carry it out to the letter,
there can be no doubt. His sympathy had carried him far
beyond a clear understanding of his own feelings, and if the
incidents in the pages which follow prove him to have been
guilty of a falsehood on this particular occasion, it must be set
down as an unintentional error, for which he is already par-
THE CORPS OF OBSEBVATIOX. 321
doned. But wc shall see more of him and liis friends ere we
part from them forever, and this bids us hasten.
On the 25th of June Johnson resolved that an effort should
be made to drive the invading army from before llichmond,
and on the afternoon of the next day the attack commenced.
That night the enemy rested at jMechanicsville, on the ground
occupied by the " boys in blue" but a few hours before. Mr.
Nidd's journal has so faithfully and briefly reported the events
which followed, that I venture to reproduce a few leaves from
his book :
[extract.]
Frida?/, Jane 27. — Things appear to be going wrong.
Much firing on the right ; Wontus swears we are to enter
Richmond immediately. Have made inquiries in every direc-
tion ; nobody knows more than I do. Much mystery. Feel
sure that something is going wrong. Note. — " Never buy
tripe on a Friday."
Saturday^ June 28. — No sleep all night. Heavy firing
continues, and draws nearer. Wagons and heavy guns pass-
ing through our camp all night. Going the wrong direction — •
away from the fighting. More mystery ; not much of anything
else.
Afternoon. — The news is out. We ai"e going to attack the
enemy in another direction. Don't believe it. Hear that
there has been hard fighting at Ellison's Mill, near Mechan-
icsville. Jackson is there. (Very strange.) The two Hills
are there ; Magruder is there ; Huger is there. If this be
true, my judgment is that about all the rebel army is there,
and we should now walk into Richmond.. Rain.
JSunday, June 29. — Excitement among troops ; running
and rushing about all night. Blakely tells us to be ready to
move. Ready ! General McClellan at Savage Station this
morning wants more reinforcements. Orders for White House
to be evacuated, and goods carried off or destroyed. Every-
thing excited. Wontus guesses he will not go into Richmond
for a few days. / guess we are in full retreat, but I can't
guess when it will end. Destruction of property terrible.
Afternoon. — On the march ; men, wagons, horses, and ar-
tillery line the road. Everybody understands what is going
on now, and things look better since people understand wha*
they have to do. Terrible fighting all around us. The men
o*
322 way TVS, on
stand up gallant!}^ ; they are modern Trojans. I ask myself,
" Will they ever be forp:otten for the sacrifices they are mak-
ing ?" Certainly ! Curious world.
Monday, June 30. — No eat, no drink, no sleep, — nothing
but fight, fight, fight. Wontus disgusted.
Afternoon. — James River. We can go no fjsrther. Have
lost men, horses, guns, stores, and about everything else but
courage. Vessels here loaded with supplies. Our friends
the gunboats with us once more. Sounds of fighting in every
direction. Terrible.
Tucsdai/. July 1. — I have no heart to write. Wontus and
the rest wander about like spooks. Fight, fight, fight : all
the time, everywhere. Will there never be any rest for the
poor soldiers ? The most terrible fighting this afternoon and
evening. We have mowed the enemy down with our cannon
by thousands. They are shattered, broken, almost disorgan-
ized. I know it. I can tell by the talk of the prisoners.
Xow we can go into Richmond. Will we ?
The day is ours. ]Malvern Hill is ours. The rebel army
of Virginia is ours. Will we take it ? Wontus says, " Now
we icill go into Richmond," and has gone to see the com-
manding general.
Wechiesdai/, July 2. — Very little fighting this morning.
Enemy retreating, and so are we. It makes space between
us much faster if both retreat at the Siime time than if only
one does.
When Mr. Wontus called on the commanding general at
Harrison's Landing, it was with the firm belief that he could
and would prove of some benefit. He did not consider him-
self competent to give his services in the shape of advice, as
was customary, but he had made up his mind to return North
without delay, and desired to offer himself as a bearer of dis-
patches to the President.
It is a very hard thing for a modest, unassuming man to
have access to a general in an army of active operations, and
so Mr. Wontus found it. Accident, however, favored him
with an interview with Colonel Blakely. whom he had not
seen for a week, and that officer escorted him through the
cordon of guards, and he reached the office of the chief of
staff. Here it was his duty to unburden his mind, and
transact whatever other business he might have ; but disap-
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 323
pointmcnt and want of faith had made him stubborn, and he
affirmed his intention to remain until such time as tlic com-
manding; general would see him.
It was while he was waiting that he noticed a gentlem \n
in whose fice there was something which carried his mind
back to Philadelphia. The man wore a military cap ami
blouse, but otherwise looked like a citizen. His moustache
was nicely curled, .and his face wore an air of importance. It
was Edward Pason iMontcalm Iligginson.
As much to kill the time as through curiosity, Mr. Wontus
made sundry inquiries concerning the gentleman, who ap-
peared to have the faculty of figuring so extensively in IMr.
Nidd's mind, and learned that he was the guest of nobody in
particular and everybody in general.
" For myself," remarked Colonel Blakely, " T know very
little about him. He's a sort of an enigma. We all know
him, and yet do not know him. I presume he is a man of
considerable wealth and standing. He talks of the gi-eat men
of the nation as though he knew them all intimately, and his
manner and style is that of a thorough gentleman, although
I must confess that I have occasionally seen a vein of assur-
ance about him which I do not admire."
Mr. Wontus now proceeded to relate his first meeting with
the gentleman and Nidd's antipathy for him. He did not
mention any of the particulars of the acquaintanceship, or the
little incident between the gentleman and Nidd at the White
House ; in fact, he did not have the opportunity, for while
he was speaking the subject of the conversation entered the
tent, leaning on the arm and glibly talking with an officer.
Wontus was sitting on a camp-stool, near the centre of the
tent, and his friend, Colonel Blakely, was standing by his
side. At first Mr. Higginson did not appear to notice cither
the colonel or Wontus, although he had twice nearly touched
them as he passed. He was engaged in relating a humorous
story, and his laughter grated on our hero's ears with dis-
cordant sharpness.
'' Ah, colonel," cried the gentleman, for the first time
recognizing Blakely, " glad to see you ; haven't seen you for
an age. Terrible fighting since we last met. Safe and sound,
eh ?" As he spoke he grasped Blakely's hand and shook it
warmly. " I've just been relating to the gencral^how glo-
324 WOXTUS, OR
riouslj my friends Porter, Keys, Sykes, Meade, ^IcCall, But-
terfield, and tlie host of other good fellows, have acquitted
themselves. Splendid movement, splendidly executed !"
" Mr, Wontus," said Blakely, stepping- aside and introduc-
ing our hero ; " an old acquaintance, I think."
Wontus rose to his feet, and as he did so the bright look
faded from Mr. Higginsou's face. In a moment he recovered
himself, and bowing ceremoniously, asked the colonel to repeat
the name ; and then remarked that the gentleman certainly
had the advantage of him.
Mr. Wontus was certain that Higginson recognized him,
but his manner and overpowering impudence completely dum-
founded him, and he stammered something he scarcely knew
what, and felt like a culprit who has been caught in the act
of committing a theft.
''Come, colonel," cried the gentleman, in the midst of
Wontus's confusion, " come, take a turn about the camp, old
fellow, it will do you good." As he spoke his lip curled and
he cast a glance at our hero which seemed to say, '• You are
of very little importance, sir, very little." Wontus felt that
he must certainly do something, and that immediately. As
it was, Colonel Blakely must consider him wanting in truth.
With this idea uppermost, he managed to grasp his friend's
hand, and articulate a few words which, when put together,
signified that there was a mistake.
'• Oh, I moi/ have met you. sir," continued Higginson, with
a sang-froid that made Mr. Wontus tremble, — ^' I may have
met you, sir ; I meet thousands of people, yes, thousands,
whose mimes acd faces I do not recollect ; I cannot recall
them ; the thing is impossible ; I might as well tiy to remem-
ber the stars which throw their radiant glances at me from
the blue sky above us. or the dew-drops which sparkle in the
blades of grass in the morning sun. Impossible ; eh, colonel?"
'" You met me." cried Wontus, finding his tongue, and mad-
dened by the nonchalant manners of the speaker, — '• you met
me in Philadelphia ; at the hotel. You came, sir. believing
me and my friends to be distinguished characters. When Mr.
Nidd, a gentleman whom I think you do remember, informed
you of our real characters, you left. We saw you again at
our lodgings, and I happen to know you were impressed with
the preseace of one of our party. You were seen again at
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 325
the White House, where Mr. Nidd dragged you out of your
hiding-place, at the time of the raid. I have always thought
my friend was prejudiced against you ; I now believe all he
says of you, and what he says is not complimentar}'', by any
means. You do know me, and I know you, but in the future
I shall not know you. There, sir !"
Mr. Wontus could go no further, and he sat down and
rested his chin on his hand, looking terribly angry.
During the delivery of the remarks of Mr. Wontus, Hig-
ginson, otherwise " Scribendi," looked with mingled rage and
mortification at the speaker. At the conclusion he was about
to speak, but he was interrupted by the entrance of the gen-
eral, and turning upon his heel he tapped his forehead with
his finger, and glancing at Wontus, as though he would indi-
cate that our hero was insane, walked out of the tent, smiling.
At length the general would see Mr. Wontus, and, fore-
warned to be brief, our hero proceeded to inform the general
that he was on very intimate terms with Mr. Lincoln, and as
he intended proceeding North without delay, he would be de-
lighted to be the bearer of any message the former might
desire to send to the latter.
"Sir," said the general, mildly, "I have no message to
send ; but if you have influence enough to have some rein-
forcements sent to me I hope you will do so. With reinforce-
ments this change of base would have been unnecessary ; we
should have been in Richmond to-day."
The general turned to his chief-of-staff', and Mr. Wontus
left for his own quarters, deeply impressed with the inter-
view. The affair with Mr. Higginson had faded from his
mind.
" I have given up the idea of going into Eichmond," said
he to Mr. Nidd, philosophically, " and we will return home as
soon as transportation can be secured."'
It will be remembered, by those who have followed the
steps of Wontus and his party from the commencement, that
it was understood, in the agreement miade with Mr. Wilkins,
that that gentleman should enter the army whenever Mr.
Wontus considered it necessary, and was to receive a certain
stipulated sum for so doing. The particulars of this agree-
ment had popped into Wontus's head the moment the general
had mentioned his desire for reinforcements, and without
28
326 VfOXTUS, OR
mentioning his plan to anybody our hero quietly determined
that the general should have reinforcements, and the tirst in-
stalment should be Benjamin Wilkins.
The next morning Mr. Wilkins was summoned, and with
$500 in his pocket, Wontus, accompanied by Wilkins, set out
for the headquarters of the army. I am inclined to believe
that 31r. Wilkins was entirely ignorant of the part he was
to play in the forthcoming interview. He knew that he was
going to see the commander of the army, and that was all.
" You must be very careful," remarked Wontus, as they
passed along ; " the discipline and etiquette of headquarters
is very severe."
It is probable that Mr. Wontus would have proceeded to
give Wilkins some advice concerning the line of conduct
which he would expect from him, but his remarks were cut
short by Wilkins proceeding to relate in his own peculiar
fashion how he had lived and dined with the first generals
and admirals of the world, not to mention the crowned heads
and other notable people. In brief, ere he concluded, Mr.
Wontus was inclined to believe that in simple justice he
ought to change places with his man.
Fortune favored our friends, and they met the general and
some other officers just outside of his tent. Wontus was full
of delight, for now he felt that besides doing something for
his country, by enlisting a man in her service, he was also
about to give to the general that which he had been asking
for so long — reinforcements. Nudging Wilkins to follow
him, he immediately sought the side of the officer, and after
passing the compliments of the day, said :
" General, this is Benjamin Wilkins, an old soldier, and a
man who has seen service all over the World." Turning to
Wilkins he asked him if what he said was not true, and Wil-
kins said it was.
The general, with dignity in his manner, looked at Wilkins
and then at Wontus, but made no reply. To some men this
would have been a hint that their company was not agree-
able, but Wontus was too full of his subject to notice any-
thing except the business he was on, and he continued :
'* You've asked for reinforcements. I remarked to myself
yesterday you should have them, and here they are." The
siirht was a curious one. Wontus had turned to Wilkins as
THE CORPS OF OTiSERVATIOK. 327
he spoke, and was now standing with his hands extended, the
pahus turned upward, as though to signify that he made the
offering freely, and was now done. The different officers of
tlie group looked quizzically at each other, and Wilkins, who
had only now guessed the object of the visit, was, for the first
time since we have known him, in blank despair. The bargain
which he had made at the outset, and which he never ex-
pected to completely fill, flashed in his mind, and he could
see no avenue of escape. There was only one course left, and
that was to meet the matter fully in the face, and trust to
fortune what should follow ; but not a word escaped his lips.
The smile which had lit up the general's face at the com-
mencement of the interview now broke into a broad laugh,
and thanking Mr. Wontus for his kindness, he turned to one
of his staff, and said :
" Captain, see that these reinforcements are properly mus-
tered in." The officer addressed directed Wontus and Wil-
kins to follow him, and after the preliminaries had been
settled, and the promised money acknowledged, Wilkins was
duly " cussed," and found himself a private in the — th Regi-
ment Pennsylvania, where he was duly welcomed by Birkill,
Magdus, and the other gentlemen with whom Thomas Thomson
had had such an intimate acquaintance a few months before.
Wilkins' s shortcomings had been numerous, and as vexa-
tious as they were numerous, but for all that Mr. Wontus
could not resist a few tears of genuine sorrow when the for-
mer grasped his hand, and in a melodramatic way mentioned
the life that was before him, the deeds of bravery he should
perform, and the glory which awaited him should he be for-
tunate enough to return.
" And I hope you may return," cried Mr. Wontus, dashing
the tear from his eye. " I shall never forgive myself if you
do not return !" He could say no more, and took his departure.
"I have done a patriotic service," said Wontus to Mr.
Nidd, in finishing up his account of the affair.
" You've done more," cried Nidd. " You've rid the coun-
try, for a while at least, of one of the greatest liars that ever
breathed. He's in the right place now, and my only fear is
that he'll not stay."
Wontus begged his fi-iend to desist, and for the balance of the
day was gloomy and sad. He was busy with his thoughts.
328 WONTU^, OR
CHAPTER XXXI.
THIS CHAPTER IS PRINCIPALLY DEVOTED TO MR. WIL-
KIXS, WHO AS A SOLDIER DOES SOME VERY MARVELOUS
THINGS — HOMEWARD BOUND.
The transport wliich was to carry Mr. Wontiis and his
friends to Washington lay anchored in the stream, and the
hour had come for their departure. Nidd was impatient to
be off, but Mr. Wontus held him back, and together they
proceeded to bid a last good-bye to the many kind friends and
companions they had found in the army. It was pleasing to
have the prospect of early intercoui-se with civilization (war
has very little of civilization about it) and the comforts of
home ; but withal Mr. Wontus was sad. Now that he really
was going away from the araiy, he was sad ; yet he smiled
and endeavored to be cheerful.
'' I hate to leave them," said he, turning to Xidd, as they
walked. " Yes, I hate to leave them. I've met some noble
men, and I love them ; but I am disheartened and weary.
There's Blakely, poor fellow ! I wish we could induce him to
accompany us ; but he will not, his soul is in the war. (A
pause.) Poor Wilkins ! Xidd. do you think he'll be killed?"
He spoke as if he expected an immediate answer. He got it.
" Not he !" cried Xidd, '• don't worry yourself about that.
That interesting and devoutly-to-be-wished event will never
occur. A man who is born to be hanged can never be killed
in war, drowned at sea, or accidentally killed in any way.
Such a man is Benjamin Wilkins.*'
" You are severe," remarked Mr. Wontus, contemplative! v.
ui "
" Here he comes now," interrupted Xidd.
" Good mornin', gents," exclaimed a man dressed in full
uniform, which Wontus, after a moment's inspection, discov-
ered to be Wilkins. '' Purty heavy weather we bovs have,
hey?"
Both Xidd and Wontus greeted the new comer pleasantly —
the latter almost enthusiastically.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 329
" ITow's Tom ?" asked the soldier ; and tlicn followed such
a iiniltitude of inquiries concerning the health and prospects
of the party as would induce the casual listener to imagine
that the questioner had not seen his friends for a long, very
long time.
Mr. Wontus proceeded to answer the questions fully, but
ere he had fairly commenced Wilkins interrupted by stating
that he had been on picket the night before, and performed
some most daring service, which, if the gentlemen desired, he
would relate. Nidd swore roundly that there was no time to
spare, but Wontus was interested, and insisted on hearing the
story.
" It won't take a minute," said Wilkins, by way of assuag-
ing Mr. Nidd, and then he commenced.
"It ain't customary," said he, "for new men — new re-
cruits, I mean — to go on picket the first night they git into
camp, but I jis tole the cap'n that I'd been there a many a
time before, and wouldn't mind takin' a turn now, jist to git
my hand in. ' All right, my cove,' says he, and, jist afore
dark, I fell in and marched out with the rest of the fellers.
You know where Gragese's farm is, out here about four mile,
don't you?"
Mr. Wontus said he did not, and Nidd presumed that there
wasn't any such place in the United States.
" Well," continued Wilkins, without noticing the remark,
" that air farm was the outpost, — the most outest and most
dangerous post of 'em all ; and when the sergeant asked who'd
go out there, I tole him that I would, and smackin' me on
the shoulder, he says, says he, ' You' — meanin' me — ' you are
jist the feller I wanted;' and givin' me instructions to keep a
sharp lookout, — the regular thing, you know, — and so forth,
he left me. Shiver my timbers ! it was a wild and lonely
place, sure enough. There wasn't a house, except the one I
was at, nor nothin' else livin' anywhere in sight or hearin'.
Jist in front there was a woods so thunderin' thick you
couldn't see daylight through it if it was daylight. On the
right was a thicket of briars, and on the left was a wheat
field, with the wheat all a standin'."
" Cut it short !" interrupted Nidd, wdth a frown.
" Well," continued Wilkins, nodding his head, as though
he intended heeding the command, "you just bet it was
330 WOXTUS, OR
lonely ; and as I stood there, a lookin' at the stars, whicli was
a twinklin' and winkin' over me, says I, ' Ben,' says I, 'you'd
better keep your weather eye open,' — ^}'ou see I hadn't forgot
my sea lingo, — ' for this here's a dangerous place, or they'd
never put you here.' "
Wontus suid " Certainly," and the speaker continued:
" Sharp watchin' and the balmy breezes of the most beauti-
fulest night kind of got the best of me nigh unto about mid-
night, — I guess it was about midnight. — and I was gettin'
sleepy. I k no wed what the orders was, but we used to often
play off a little when I was in the Crimea, you know ; so says
I, ' I guess there won't be nobody about this here place any
more to-night,' and I commenced a-lookin' for a place to lay
myself down. I thought I'd take a little snooze, you know."
Wontus nodded his head, and bent forward with ea^er
attention.
" Well, jist as I was a-goin' to curl myself up on some fodder
in the yard, somethiu' seemed to tell me that I ought to take
a look around first. Well, there wasn't anything in the woods
as I could see or hear, nor in the briar thicket neither, and
as they was the two most likely places for to look for an
enemy, I felt easy, and was just a-goin' to spread myself,
when I looked over the wheat-field, and saw somethin'. It
wasn't a movin' nor nothin', but I remarked to myself, ' Ben,'
says I, ' that air wheat-field was as smooth as the Croton ba.-in
when you come here, and now what in the thunder is them
air stumps a-doin' there ?' I couldn't see how they got there,
you know.'
Again Mr. Wontus signified that he understood, by nodding
his head.
" I looked at the stumps — I guess there was a half-a-dozen
of 'em — for a while, and then says I, to myself, ' Them's too
big for stumps. What in the thunder can they be?' Well,
the more I looked the more I wasn't satisfied, and then it come
to me of a suddint that it was my duty to find out, so I com-
menced a skirmishin' in a small way to dewelcp 'em. I rather
felt a little shaky at first, but then, says I, 'This is your duty ;'
and I made up my mind to do it. From me to the wheat-field
must have been about as far as from th:it air tree to us (he
]>ointed out a tree which stood off some sixty paces distant from
where he was standing), and the objecks was a standiu'
THE CORPS OF observation: 331
amonp: the ■v^'lleat, jist a little insulc the fence. Well, the first
thing I did was to take oft" my cartridge-box and fill my I'Ocket^
with" cartridges, — I wanted to be free and easy, you see, — and
then I took my gun, and, keepin' in the shade of the trees,
sneaked into the woods and made for the field. It was so
infernal dark I had to feel my way by keepin' the pints of the
compass in my head, and then feelin' which w^as the rough
side of the bark of the trees."
At this juncture the narrator entered into a lengthy descrip-
tion of how he made his way through the woods without making
any noise, and from that branched oft" on to the dangers which
constantly surround an outpost in an enemy's country. Won-
tus, who was already much interested in the story, listened to
this part of it for a long while in silence ; but Wilkins disiilayed
no signs of returning to the interesting part of his narrative.
He h'ad evidently forgotten what he had commenced to talk
about.
" You got through the woods, did you ?'' asked Wontus,
impatiently, by way of calling Wilkins's attention to what he
appeared to have forgotten.
" Oh, yes," exclaimed the reinforcement, as if it had just
occurred to him that the most important part of the story was
to come, "I 'most forgot. Well, as I was sayin', I sneaked
through the wx'ods, and wdien I got to the fence I riz up, and
by gracious ! what do you think I seen ?"
" What ?" exclaimed Wontus, as though it was expected that
he should say something.
" Why, sir, what I had took for stumps was nothin' more'n
six fellers on horseback ! There they was a-standin' jist like
stone, and I might have thought they w^as stone if it hadn't
been that I could hear 'em wdiisperin' about how sharp their
knives was and how straight they could shoot with their p'istols."
" The mere recital of it makes me shiver," said Wontus,
shuddering; " but what did you do ? Six men, well mounted
and armed, were too much for you, eh ?"
" Thinks I to myself,"' continued Wilkins, in his oft'-hand,
matter-of-fact way, without noticing Mr. Wontus's remark,
" what's to be done now ? and I stood my gun up against the
fence and took a good long think. You see, I didn't want to
call up the support, and yet I wanted them fellers to kiu)W
that there was one man in this here big army of ours what had
332 wax TVS, or
an eye on 'em, if there wasn't any more. I was a-thinkin' this
thing over, when all at once an idea popped into me head — I
had a plan. The niuht wasn't very light, you know, and thinks
I to myself, thinks I, I'll jist crawl up to you gentlemen in the
wheat and ram my bayonet through you, one at a time. You
see, bayonets don't make no noise, and as the fellers was stand-
in' about twenty yards apart. I concluded I could do the job
purty easy. It was a purty heavy undertakin', wasn't it?"
Wontus thought it was, ver}'.
" Most men, I think," continued the speaker, '• would a'
turned back, but Id seen too much in India and other places
to do anything of that kind, and, stoopin' down, I crawled
under the fence and pulled myself along on my belly until I
got right under the first fellers horse. I was jist a goin' to
give 'em what the Irish call a prog, svhen the feller, says he to
the feller next to him, ' reckon it's about time, ain"t it ?'
" ' Don't know,' says the other feller.
" ' Who's at this here post?' says the first feller.
" ' Don't know exactly, but think it's that feller Wilkins.' "
Wontus uttered an exclamation of surprise, and AVilkins
continued :
" Yes. and I was surprised, too, when I heard my name
mentioned by such as them, and I commenced to think maybe
I was agoin' to hurt some of my friends. I was jist a thiukiu'
this when I heard the other feller say, says he :
" ' What kind of a feller is he ?' — meaniu' me.
" ' Not much,' says he ; ' I'm a thiukiu' he"d run if you fired
a pop-gun at him.'
" That was enough ; it had raised my dander. I didn't wait
to hear no more. That air last remark settled his hash, and
jam ! went my bayonet through his heart, and he tumbled off
his horse dead — stone dead."
'•Terrible!" groaned Mr. Wontus, wiping the perspiration
from his face, while Nidd, after casting a rather severe stare at
Wilkins, walked away whistling.
'• The other feller kept up a talkin' for awhile, but seein" the
dead feller's horse turn around and commence eatin' the wheat,
I guess he thought that the feller was tired of talkin'. and he
soon quit too. And jist so I went up to each individual of
'em, until I came to the sixth, — the last man. Now says I to
myselfj says I, Ben, things is gettin' more even : man to man ;
a i
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATWy. 333
SO jist suppose you make j'ourself known, an] kill tliis feller
in a gentleman-like and soldiery manner. I tliuught the idea
was a good one, and acted on it.
" ' Pleasant evenin', sir,' says I, standiu' up right alongside
of the feller's horse. I couldn't see his fiicc, but, by gravy ! I
knowed somethin' was up, for it seemed to me that lie 'most
bounced out of his saddle.
'" Who are you, sir?' says he, a recoverin' himself, and
speakin' as if he wasn't skeered.
" ' Ben Wilkins, of the great Yankee army, sir,' says I.
" Well, sir," continued the " reinforcement," after a brief
pause, " you jist ought to of seen it ; it was a picter and no
mistake. The minute I mentioned my name, the feller jist
swagged over to one side, and I commenced to think he was
a-goin' to fall oif for sure.
Wilkins ?' says he, ' of the — th Pcnnsylvany ?'
The same, sir,' says I, as polite as pie.
" There wasn't nothin' said for some time, so I jist kept my
gun up and a good ready on, for fear of an accident, you know.
" ' Wilkins ?' says he again, a thiukin' out loud. I was jist
agoin' for to say somethin' when he sung out with a yell, ' A
struggle for life and liberty !' and made a slash at me with his
sabre. But he wasn't quick enough, — he didn't know his man,
— and in about a twinklin' he was spread out on the ground as
dead as a herrin'. Well, of course, that was the end of it, and
so I jist gathered the horses and things together and waited for
daylight and the relief to come."
" Astonishing !" cried Wontus, giving vent to the excitement
wrought up by Wilkins's narrative. " And do your officers
know of this?" he asked.
" Well, no," remarked Wilkins complacently, as though the
affair had been quite a usual adventure. "No, they don't
know it, leastwise as fir as I know. When the sergeant come
up to relieve me this mornin', I jist turned the horses and the
men's 'coutrements over to him, and told him that if he'd go
over in the wheat-field he might find the men what they used
to belong to."
" ' Where are they?' says he, purty skeered.
" ' Gone to glory,' says I.
"'Dead?' says he.
Dead as smoked herrin,' says I.
((
(( i
334 WOXTUS, OR
" He woulflii't believe me till ve went over and looked, and
there they was a layin' jist where they fell, each of 'em with
a hole right up under his ribs and through his gizzard. I told
the sergeant how I'd come to do it. He made some remarks
about the thing bein' hard to beat; and says he, ' I'll make a
report of the affair to the cap'n.' ' Sergeant,' says I, ' I don't
want nothin' of the kind done ;' and then we fixed it up how
we'd tell that I'd found the horses and things in the woo<ls,
and then we come into camp ; and as I ain't heard nothin' about
it since, wh}- I guess the sergeant's a keepin' his word."
" Wilkins — Benjamin AVilkius," cried Wontus, taking his
hand in both of his, '■ you have perfomied a noble, a heroic act :
an act which deserves to be handed down to posterity ; an act
which does not have its parallel in the annals of history ; an act
which fairly eclipses romance ; an act which throws the deeds
of knights errant and the crusaders into insignificance, and for
which you should be well rewarded. I am glad you have told
me of it. I am on the eve of departure for home ; but I have
friends of power and influenc-e in the army, and you shall be
remembered. I am proud of you for your n(,)ble, brave acts ;
I can then set them down as my own ; and I feel that I shall
leave a representative behind me whose prowess must win him
laurels of imperishable fame, and to whom the War Depart-
ment and Congress must sooner or later "
'' Come, come !'' exclaimed Xidd, drawing near and taking
Mr. Wontus by the aim ; " the time is up, and wo must go. "
" Grood-bye, Benjamin Wilkins," cried Wontus, relinciuish-
inghis representative's band and moving off; " j*ou must take
good care of yourself, and let me hear from you frequently.
If at any time you are in want don't hesitate to communicate
the fiict, and " Further remarks were cut short by Nidd
dragging his friend out of speaking distance.
" Oh, he's a wonderful man ! I have said it before, and I
repeat it now," exclaimed Wontus ; and then he went over to
Nidd the story just related by the new recruit.
"It's a lie ! a lie cut from the whole cloth, and I'll wager
my life on it!" Nidd uttered these words wiih cutting
severity, and by the time the gentlemen had reached head-
quarters the two had had very high words concerning the
veracity of the new recruit.
"I will find out," cried Nidd, as Wontus met his friend,
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION^. 335
Colonel Blakcly, and in a moment his long legs were striding
toward the camp of Wilkins's regiment. Once here, he soon
found the tirst sergeant of Wilkins's company, and through
him learned that no detail — not a man — I'rom his company or
regiment had been on picket the night before, and that no
horses, or anything else, had been brought into camp since
their arrival at Harrison's Landing. This was just the in-
formation which Nidd expected, but" now his desire was to
convince Wontus that he was right, and that Wilkins was all
he had said he was. Accompanied by the sergeant, he imme-
diately sought his friend, and in his presence the following
dialogue took place between him (Nidd) and the sergeant :
Nidd. " Do you know Benjamin Wilkins?"
Sergeant. " I do."
Nidd. " How long has he been in your regimenl ?"
Sergeant. " He was mustered into my company yesterday
morning."
Nidd. " Describe him."
The sergeant described Benjamin Wilkins.
Nidd, turning to Wontus. " Our man, eh ?"
Wontus. " Yes."
Nidd, to the sergeant. " Was there any detail from your
company for picket or other duty last evening?"
Sergeant. " No."
Nidd. "Sure?"
Sergeant. " Sure."
Nidd. " Any from your regiment ?"
Sergeant. "No."
Nidd. "Sure?"
Sergeant. " Sure."
Nidd. "Was Benjamin Wilkins out of camp last night?"
Sergeant. "No."
Nidd. "Sure?"
Sergeant. " He bunked with me, and it was as much as I
could do to get him awake at reveille this morning."
Nidd. " Any horses brought into camp this morning?"
Sergeant. " No."
Nidd. "Sure?"
Sergeant. " Of course I am."
" Satisfied?" asked Nidd, with a sardonic smile on his face,
turninsr to Wontus.
336 WOXTUS, OR
Wontus looked pained and perplexed, but he said he was
satisfied, and the scrj^eant was dismissed with the most pro-
found thanks of his interrogator.
Mr. Wontus stood with his eyes upon the ground. He
had been deceived before, more than once, yet he had trusted.
Now his confidence in his fellow-man was seriously shaken.
He could not comprehend why it was that Wilkins should
tell him such an uncalled-for falsehood, and he was more sorry
than angry. It is probable that he would have delivered some
remarks concerning the incident, but he was prevented by Mr.
Nidd calling his attention to the ringing of the steamboat-
bell, and bidding his friend Blakely a most affectionate good-
by, he followed Nidd to the landing and thence on board the
boat, where Thomas Thomson was already waiting to receive
him. In the bustle of getting away the alFair was forgotten,
and ere the day was half spent the frowning walls of Fortress
Monroe were passed, and the party on their way to Wash-
ington.
"On arriving at the capital Nidd at once sought an interview
with the President, and spread his views concerning sundry
things connected with the war before him. While he was
doing this Mr. Woutus had found his friend Moxley, and
through him learned many things concerning Mrs. Flick,
some of which were agreeable and some were not. Among
the first were the kind words which the lady always used
when speaking of him (Wontus) during his absence. It was
his nature to look upon the agreeable side of life, so he forgot
the details of her lamentations over the death of a man whom
he looked upon as a villain, and thought only T)f the joy she
expressed when remembering his own kindness. He reiterated
to himself time and again that he did not love the lady, that
is, he didn't think he did, for he saw nothing in his actions
toward her that made him appear, in even the remotest sense,
like the lovers he had read of in the works of fiction or had
seen on the stage. But he dreamed of her the first night he
spent in Washington, for all that.
The following morning Gascon Nidd suddenly left Wash-
ington, and our hero was left with none of his original party,
save Thomas Thomson, to do him honor.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 337
CHAPTER XXXII.
IN WHICH MR. NIDD REVISITS THE QUAKER CITY, BE-
COMES A PARTICIPANT IN A FIREMAN's RIOT, AND IS
A JILTED MAN.
That Nidd's sudden departure from Washington did not ex-
cite any particular comment on the part of either of the leading
gentlemen of the corps, is probably due to the fact that each
one was preoccupied by other things. In fact, Mr. Wontus con-
fidentially communicated to Thomas Thomson that he would
feel very much freer in Mr. Nidd's absence than in his pres-
ence. As for Nidd, he took his seat in the cars as though he
was glad of the opportunity, and before the train had com-
menced to move, bid his friends good-bye, and settled himself
into a sleeping position, and in that way indicated, if he did
not utter it, that he had nothing more to say. He was going
to sleep. As the train sped along Mr. Nidd's rest was un-
easy. He was dreamy, and he saw a great many things that
were startling and strange ; but looming up from the chaos
there always came a maze of long narrow streets, dark lanes
and narrow back-alleys. Hovering over and about these
streets and alleys was the form of a woman. She came as
though riding on the edge of a mass of fleecy clouds, and
upon her head was a golden chaplet. Her form, save her
head and face, was lost in the gauzy drapery which fell in
graceful profusion about her, and then lost itself in the mist.
Nidd shook himself two or three times, and wondered what
could ever have put such nonsense in his head ; but when
again he dozed, the dream came back as before, with the
addition that the face of the woman in the clouds bore a
striking likeness to that of Mrs. Squirm. Baltimore was
reached and passed before he succeeded in waking himself
thoroughly, and he was almost sure, as he opened his eyes,
that the form of E. P. M. Higginson, otherwise Scribendi,
had just passed him. But he was in a condition of uncer-
tainty, and the knowledge that he had left his rival with the
K 29
338 WOXTCS, OR
army on the banks of the James made him place that gentle-
man among the characters of his dream, and b}' the time he
arrived in Philadelphia he had made up his mind as to the
course of action he should pursue concerning the object of
his visit.
It was night when he alighted from the cars, and as his
clothes were neither of a fashionable cut or very fine, or his
baggage of a very striking description, he quickly emerged
from the depot and thence through the throng of hackmen,
never once stopping or heeding anybody until he had reached
the opposite side of the street. Here he stopped and gazed
along the wide straight avenue. He had made up his mind,
while on the train, to proceed at once to the liouse of his
adored, but now that it was close at hand and the hour was
somewhat late, he commenced to question the propriety of the
visit. He turned the subject over in his mind many times
as he walked slowly along, and had just passed South Street
when he was startled by the cry of fire. Now tdmost any
sort of excitement had a charm for Mr. Nidd, providing he
could view it from a perfectly safe distance, and now that he
had nothing particular to do and the firemen commenced
running past him, and the bells were banging in every direc-
tion, he stopped and looked on with pleasurable interest.
There was considerable noise in every direction, but far be-
yond him, toward the centre of the city, there came up a dull
roaring sound, among which he could distinguish an occa-
sional cheer or yell of defiance.
He had often heard of those little pleasantries which the
firemen were accustomed to amuse themselves with, and which
the newspapers spoke of under the head of riots ; but as he
stood there listening, it never occurred to him that the roaring
or the yells emanated from any such occasion. Gradually the
sounds had been nearing him, and now they broke full upon
him, as a throng of surging, struggling men, among which he
could hear the clatter of bells and see the burnished bniss
mountings of an engine, came full in view from around a neigh-
boring corner. Onward they came, now one side of the street
and then the other ; and then, as if by some immutjible law,
compelled to do it, choking up the very street itself, until
from house to house every inch of space was filled Ijy ;i human
form. He stood and gazed, and was parsing the time pleas-
V0|- THINK MK ALONK AND nEFE.NSKLESs/ SHK CONTINUED."
Page ;M3.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 339
antly. Thus far he had been a passive spectator of the scene,
but as the crowd came surging along the street, now on this
side and then on that, he became more interested, and turning
to an urchin who stood by his side, he asked the reason of all
the excitement. " They're a racin','' said the boy, and then
Nidd and his young friend walked out into the street, that
they might be better able to observe what was passing.
This slight movement on Mr. Nidd's part was followed by
most disastrous results. A moment after he had reached the
cobble-stones there seemed to be a lull in the excitement.
The bells had ceased clanging, and the engine stood stationary
in the street. The lull was but momentary, for now the noise
broke forth with a violence thrice multiplied, and, with fright-
ful yells and cheers, the surging, struggling mass came sweep-
ing down, and ere Nidd was well aware of it, he was caught
in the tide and borne onward. Howling, shouting men were
on all sides of him, looking like demons in the dull glare of
the street lamps, and before he could escape from the stream
he had seen enough to convince him that his position was
precarious in the extreme. He struggled manfully to escape
from the throng, and once or twice succeeded, only to find
himself caught up again in a moment and carried back into
the melee. Panting and excited, he at length reached the
sidewalk, and sought the shelter of a tree-box, which he
clasped in his arms as though it was the dearest friend he had
on earth. Onward swept the crowd, but the worst was over.
Men and half-grown boys were still thronging the sidewalks ;
but he heeded them not, but stood congratulating himself
upon his escape from such imminent danger. It was now
plain to him that what he had just escaped from was a fire-
man's fight, and he shook his head in a threatening way, as
though nothing was wanting but power for him to forever do
away with the peculiar amusement. He was engaged in this
when a young gentleman, wearing a red shirt, stepped up to
him, and asked him what he run with.
In an instant Nidd was on his mettle. " I run with my
legs," he replied.
" Here's one of 'em !" shouted the man to some of his com-
panions in the street ; and without further ado, one-quarter of
the corps of observation, now in Philadeli^hia, was felled to
the ground, and then most cruelly beaten.
340 WOXTUS, OR
It was morning when Nidd came clearly and fully to him-
self, and found himself within the walls of a hospital. He
felt sore and was bruised, and his valise was missing. But
his attending phjsician said that there was no great haim
done, and that he was at liberty to leave the institution at any
time. I presume that most places come in for a share of the
curses of those who are unfortunate within their boun(]s.
Hence I venture nothing when I say that Nidd cursed the
Quaker City. A visit to one of its residents, and he would
leave it, and forever ! Circumstances alter cases.
It was late in the day when he presented himself at a fa-
miliar door on Walnut Street, and boldly pulled the bell. No
answer came, and he pulled again. As he stood on the step,
he thought that he heard suppressed laughter near him, Ijut
no form was visible. Could it be that the charming woman
was peeping at him from between the blinds ? It might be,
and yet he could not make himself believe that any womau
could so far deny herself of the pleasure of his company as to
keep him waiting even for a moment.
" You're too late," said a voice, in answer to the last pull.
And looking up, Mr. Nidd saw the face of Miss Bridget, Mrs.
Squirm's maid of all-work.
"Ah! Miss Bridget," cried Nidd, assuming his most be-
witching smile, " you've not all retired ?"
"Retired?" cried the woman. "An' faith, what time do
you think we retire ?"
"But you said I was too late," said Nidd. " My compli-
ments to Mrs. Squirm, if you please."
" An' sure, are you in earnest?"
"Certainly!" said Mr. Nidd, decidedly.
"An' you haven't heard?"
"Heard what?" demanded Nidd.
" Oh, dear ! oh, dear!" laughed the woman.
" Well?" cried Nidd, as though expecting an answer.
"An' sure, she's married,"
" Married !" said Mr. Nidd, as though he might have mis-
understood the remark.
"To Mr. Higginson, who came up from the army last night
for that very purpose, and they're now takin' a travelin' for a
few days," Nidd waited to hear no more. With an excla-
mation too violent for those who read this to pronounce, he
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 341
hurriedly left the house, turned the first corner, and was out
of siiiht.
How quickly and how wonderfully will "circumstances
alter cases." When the austere conveyancer believed himself
to be the successful wooer, the long, narrow streets, dark lanes,
and narrow back alleys, were famous and most desirable
property. Now that he was jilted, the whole property,
streets, lanes, back alleys, and all, were most undesirable and
worthless. But Nidd did not blame himself, for in after
years he was frequently heard to say that had it not been for
the firemen (and he swore when he said it), he would un-
doubtedly have been a twice-married man. A matter of a few
hours' had settled his fate. That night he left for New York,
and the following morning found his office- shutters open, and
the owner, wearing the same look as of old, standing in the
doorway. He was already looking for business.
CHAPTER XXXIII.
CATCHES MR. WONTUS IN THE TOILS OF LOVE, AND AFTER
SEVERAL DISAPPOINTMENTS RENDERS HIM HAPPY.
With Nidd at home in New York, it now becomes neces-
sary to return to Washington. The moment Mr. Wontus saw
the train move out of the depot, he returned to the hotel and
made preparations for a visit to the widow. He thought that
he knew her quite well, and he felt every confidence in his
ability to acquit himself with credit. Feeling this way, he
walked boldly up the street, and just as boldly knocked at the
door. He gave his name to the person who opened the door,
and was ushered into the parlor. A moment more and the
lady was before him. The bravery and confidence of Mr.
Wontus faded away like. a breath when Mrs. Flick entered
the room. AVlien she thanked him for his kindness io her,
he felt miserable; when she came to question him concerning
the death of her husband, he wished that he had not come.
" Are you sure it was him ?" she asked.
29*
342 WOXTUS, OB
It now became necessary for Wontus to tell her how he
knew, beyond question, that private Flick, of the — th Penn-
sylvania, and Major Flick, of the — th Alabama, were identi-
cal, and in doing this he unintentionally and thoughtlessly in-
troduced the name of Colonel Blakely.
^^ He there?" she cried, the tears for the first time coming
to her eyes. " He there, a witness to the death of my hus-
band! Heavenly Father, thy will be done!" She had been
leaning with her arm upon the table, but when she finished
sjDeaking she buried her face in her hands, and, lemming for-
ward, sobbed as though her very heart was bursting.
Wontus was no philosopher, at least not where tears were ;
he generally acted from the impulse of his heart, and now his
heart prompted him to soothe the sorrow-stricken woman.
'" Don't cry, madam." he said, rising to his feet and speak-
ing in the most pitiful accents. " Don't cry. He was a —
was a — he died game, madam, very game." Had Wontus
been a cock-fighter or a pugilist, it is probable that he could
not have chosen more fitting, or at least more expressive lan-
guage ; but to a refined woman, deeply stricken with grief, he
felt sure his words sounded harsh and coarse, and he sought
to improve his expressions of sympathy. He tried again and
again, but without success. '-What am I to do?" he cried.
" I have made a mistaka ; he did not die game ; that is. he
died g-ame enough ; but it's not that that I want to say. He
spoke of you fondly, madam, ver}' fondl3\ and I saw him
buried with honor, and with my own eyes. His wound wasn't
very painful ; it was the internal hemorrhage which caused
his death." Mr. Wontus ceased speaking, feeling that his
words were unsuitable to the occasion, and the lady's sobs cut
into his he^irt like a knife.
" Don't weep," he cried, almost beside himself, and speak-
ing in accents of the deepest commiseration. '• I beg of you,
madam, don't weep so ; I know it is sad, but there is a
brighter day dawning." As he spoke he glided to her side,
and sank upon his knees and clasped the folds of her dress
with his hands. Neither by look or action did she appear to
notice him. He thought he was doing better. " I knew
your husband well ; he was not deserving — I mean he was
deserving. But do. madam, do stop weeping." He grasped
her hand as he spoke, and held it. She did not ofi"er to with-
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 343
draw it. Tears stood in his eyes, but his face was fluslied.
As he aftervrards was heard to say, " a million thou<ahts"
passed through his head, but his li|)8 would not articulate a
syllable ; a strange lump came into his throat, and his tongue
was parched and dry. For a moment there was silence.
" Madam — Mrs. Flick — Catherine," he cried, at length,
" your husband is dead, — I love you !" Another word would
have choked him. I cannot undertake to describe him as he
knelt — rather sat — on the floor. There was too much in the
scene for anything, save the imagination, to picture. Had it
been so ordered that he should be hung at the expiration of
one minute if he did not speak, Wontus would have been no
more and our story ended.
It is probable that his silence more than his declaration
caused the woman to raise her head from the table, and throw
her swimming, sorrowful eyes full upon him. Brief as tlie
look was, it sent a thrill through Wontus's frame, and although
he quailed beneath it, his knees instinctively crawled forward
and brought him nearer.
" My dear Mrs. — ^ — ," his remarks were cut short by the
lady.
" Cease, sir ! cease, I pray you," she cried ; " do not add
insult to the other miseries which weigh upon me. You have
been kind, nay, generous, to me ; but rather to have you pre-
sume because of your generosity, I would beg my bread from
doT)r to door!" As she spoke she rose to her feet and stood
looking upon our hero with flashing eyes and heaving bosom.
" You think me alone and defenseless," she continued, " but
you mistake. I have a flither and fond friends who will pro-
tect me when I am unable to protect myself I am a Southern
woman, sir, and feel deeply the grief and insult that has been
put upon me, but not too deeply to resent it, sir. I have to
acknowledge your kindness, — your alms ; would to heaven it
were not so ! — but it shall be returned to you ; yes, sir ; and
with interest." She ceased speaking and sank into her chair.
Wontus saw now that he had been hasty ; that he had made
a serious mistake ; it was an error, — not an error of judgment,
for at that moment he had none, — but an error which S])rang
from an honest and honorable impulse over which he liad no
control. He was deeply wounded ; he felt that he had been
misunderstood ; and as he gathered himself from the floor and
344 WOXTCS, OR
Stood brushing the dust from his knees, he endeavored to ex-
plain, but every idea which came into his head seemed but to
add to the dilemma, and he resolved to go. He would leave
Washington immediately.
'•Madam," said he, with a sort of subdued dignity, taking
up his hat and walking toward the door, '^ you have misunder-
stood me; 'you have cruelly " He could say no more.
He opened the door without knowing exactly how, and walked
out into the street and made his way directly to the hotel.
Thomas Thomson was standing in the hall when his master
rushed into the house and up the stairs. He noticed that
there was something a little out of the usual routine on his
mind, but he was entirely unprepared for the burst of mingled
sorrow and rage which greeted him when he entered the room.
" Thomas," cried Mr. Wontus, turning over the papers
which lay on the table, and looking in all directions for some-
thing, he knew not what, " we shall leave this infernal place
on the next train. Not a word, Thomas ! Have everything
in readiness to leave." He spoke determinedly. " What
time does the next train leave ? We shall go in the first one,
Thomas, no matter where it goes to. We leave here imme-
diately." To all things Thomas answered as best he could ;
but not knowing anything about the departure of the railroad
trains, he said so. At any other time Wontus would have
diligently searched the newspapers to find the time schedule,
but now there appeared to be no time for doing anything.
'•' Tommy, you go down to the clerk's office ; tell him to
have our bill ready, and ask what time the next train leaves
for New York, or anywhere else." Wontus spoke with less
excitement than had characterized him a few moments before,
and as Thomson left the room, a painful shade of sorrow came
over his face, and he sat down and rested his head in his
hand.
" My life," he soliloquized, with a groan, " has been a mis-
take. I am an unhappy, miserable wretch. What do I live
for ? I visited the army, hoping that I might be of some ser-
vice ; but I have done nothing, literally nothing, and hun-
dreds of dollars have been squandered for nothing. I will
return to New York. (A pause.) Why are there no con-
vents, no nunneries for men like there are for women ? I have
money ; why not institute one myself, and be the first inmate ?
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 345
(His face brigliteiicd for a muiiient, and then again assumed
its former shade of sorrow.) No, no ; I'm a fool. No man
has a right, nobody, woman or man, has a right to shut them-
selves up from the world. (A pause.) I have been this
woman's friend. Shall I confess it, — that which is now so
plain, — I have loved her and she spurns me. I gave her no-
thing in charity ; I gave as I would give to any human being
who needed."
He ceased speaking, and for a moment looked at the floor
in silence. " Yes, yes," he continued; " one such mistake in
the life of a man is enough. Henceforth and forever, woman
shall be my aversion !"
He took up a newspaper and commenced to read. The
news from the West and South was most cheering. New
Orleans, under the old flag, was prospering ; Morgan was
being driven from Kentucky ; Grant and Farragut were pre-
paring for the reduction of Vicksburg, and Burnside was
winning new victories in the Carolinas. He read these
things, but they had lost their interest.
It was while he was reading of Morgan's raid into Ken-
tucky that he came across an item which seemed to attract his
attention, without his desiring it. Colonel Blakely had given
him the name of Mrs. Flick's father, and now that same name,
and from Alabama too, stood before him as one among the
killed in the fight at Cynthiana. A thrill passed through
his frame as he read. His first thought was to carry the
paper to Mrs. Flick ; his second, to say nothing about it, and
follow out his original intentions. He had just made up his
mind to the latter line of action when Tommy entered the
room and announced that the first train for New York left at
5.30, but that trains left every hour or two for Baltimore.
" Very good, very good," replied Mr. Wontus, his mind
wandering to the scene of the morning. He saw nothing
wrong in it ; perhaps a little improper, but certainly nothing-
wrong ; and then he fell to silent musing. It was while he
was thus engaged that a servant knocked at the door, and pre-
sented a note to Thomas Thomson, who handed it to Wontus.
He took it mechanically, and glanced at the superscription — •
" 0. Wontus, Esq.,
" Swimldem s Hotel.,
" Present. Washington'^
V*
34G woxTus, on
For Mr. "Wontus to receive a note was something which
did not often occur ; to receive one in Washin^on, where
he was so little acquainted, was ceitaiuly extraoidinary, and
so he appeared to consider it. There are times when men
who have the sharpest eyes seem to regard it as highly neces-
sary that they should be the possessors of a pair of specta-
cles, or something of that character. This was Wontut^'s
condition now. The moment he saw the note he noticed that
the superscription was in a lady's liand, and that it was ad-
dressed to him, yet he did not ofier to open it. First he
held it a long way off and to the right ; then he brought it
closer and to the left ; then he drew it still closer, and again
held it at arm's length. " From a woman? Certiiinly !" He
asked the question and answered it himself. Then he turned
it over and looked at the back, and then the edges, as though
he expected the paper inside to break forth of its own accord
and spread itself before him. Now he took it to the window,
and as he did so the sad look which had clouded his face a mo-
ment before was forced aside by a smile. It was really an
important occasion, and quite unexpected.
During all this time Thomas Thomson stood watching
Wontus closely, momentarily expecting some new development
to grow out of this most unusual, and, to him, unaccountable
event. But Wontus heeded him not. The man who but a
few moments before could not wait a moment was now seem-
ingly in no hurry whatever.
3Ir. Wontus having looked in vain for the envelope to burst
of its own accord, remarked to himself that he should keep
cool, and drawing a chair to the window he took a lingering,
questioning sort of farewell look at the envelope, and then
leisurely took out his knife, and inserted the blade under the
flaps of the cover. His action was that of a cool man, but his
hand shook nervously. The letter was before hini, and read
as follows :
'' 0. Wontus, Esq. :
" Respected Sir, — I beg of you to pardon me if I intrude,
but I feel that I owe you so much for your kindness that it
would be unchristian-like and ungrateful in me to permit you
to leave the city without thanking you.
" I was deeply pained this morning, yet I do not mention this
THE CORPS OF OliSEUYATION. 347
in excuse. Perhaps in calmer moments we might both act
differently. If this note reaches you and you do not consider
it too much trouble to call, I shall be glad to see you this
evening. " I am, sir, very respectfully,
" Thursday. C. L. Flick."
This was all that was needed to change the whole current
of Wontus's present life. The weight which had laid so heavily
upon his heart since his confession of love was lifted off in a
moment, and he felt lighter in the body by twenty pounds and
younger in the heart by twenty years. His joy partook of an
effervescing character, and he laughed heartily and did many
extravagant and unusual things. Occasionally he would stop
and gaze upon the note for a moment, and then go off again,
until at length excessive heat and exhaustion compelled him
to be seated. lie laid the note before him, then resting his
forehead on his hands and his elbows on the table, he gazed
upon the note in silent admiration.
" The clerk says the bill will be ready when you are ready,"
remarked Tommy, furnishing the information which he had
been sent to secure.
Wontus lifted his head for a moment and glared at his man
in silence.
" Everything are ready," continued Tommy, '' and we can
leave "
" Leave !" cried Wontus, " Leave ! "We'll never leave !" As
he spoke he struck the table a violent blow with his fist. No,
he would never leave. These were his thoughts at that mo-
ment, for but one line of the note found a place in his head,
and that was the line which asked him to call. Call ! He
would have undertaken to dance a jig on the Vice-President's
desk in the Senate chamber !
" Thomas," — Mr. Wontus spoke with a forced calmness, which
he intended to be terrible, — " ink, paper, pens ; this letter must
be answered."
Thomas merely said " Yes, sir," and was out of the door in
a jiffy (whatever that is). In due time he returned, and the
process of writing a fitting reply to the lady's note was com-
menced. Sheet after sheet was written, and destroyed almost
as quickly as it was written ; and. evening came and the reply
was no nearer written than before.
34S WOXTUS, OR
''Torn" (it was a very extraordinary occasion when Mr.
Wontus addressed 3Ir. Thomson by his abbreviated title),
" do you know where Third Street is?"
Thomson answered that he did.
" I am nervous and unsettled," continued Wontus, aside.
" I must send a reply, but I can't write it." With this, he
turned to his man and repeated the question already answered.
"You will go there," he continued, ''and tell Mrs. Flick
that, owing to business engagements, — owing to husutess en-
gagements. Tommy, do you hear? — I shall be compelled to
remain in the city much longer than I expected, and there-
fore, — and therefore, Tomm}', I shall do myself the honor of
calling upon her this evening. Be particular, and deliver the
message in the same dignified manner that I deliver it to
you. Do you hear?"
Thomas answered that he did hear, and in a moment had
rushed from the room and was going down the staii-s, taking
three steps at a leap. Suddenly it occurred to him that while
it was true tbat he did know where Third Street was. yet he
was entirely ignorant as to what particular part of Third Street
Mrs. Flick might be found at. He turned back with many
misgivings, and. like other men who do similar things and think
of them a moment too late, he bhimcd himself for his stupidity.
When he returned to the room Mr. Wontus was still gaz-
ing on the note, and he was smiling, as though well satisfied
with himself and all the world. '' Ah, Thomas, what now ?"
he asked.
Thomas explained, and in due time had full directions, and
set out to deliver the message which Wontus had found im-
possible to write.
During Thomson's absence, the meditations of Wontus were
varied in the extreme. That he loved, he no longer refused
to believe. He had loved before, when he was a young man,
but until he confessed his passion for the widow Flick his
love had never found expression in words. And now a new
question was presented. He had long since given up the idea
of taking a wife ; he had commenced to look upon himself as
a man who was incapable of making himself or an3-body else
happy. He had money ; he had everything but courage ; and
now that he had confessed his passion for the widow he felt
that he was in duty bound to follow it up. But how ? That
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. -* 349
was what puzzled him. lie had commenced to wish that he
had not paid any attention to the note, had conducted liim-
self as tliough he had never received it, when his meditations
were interrupted by the return of Thomson with the message
tliat the hidy was glad that Mr. Wontus's business had pre-
vented him from leaving the city ; also, that she would be
pleased to see him.
There was nothing deceitful about Mr. Wontus. lie was
terribly in earnest, and the very honesty of his intentions
made him believe and feel that he had gone too far to recede,
and that the lady had a right, and would therefore expect,
more than a mere declaration to spring from what had already
transpired. This was the construction he placed upon her
note, and this was the feeling which governed him as he set
about making his toilet for the visit.
When a man makes himself believe that he iiimt^ willing
or unwilling, do some certain thing, there is generally more or
less of what is called desperation about it than if he did it
without making himself believe that it was necessary. Won-
tus had made himself believe that this visit must be paid.
He had entirely ignored the scene of the morning, and as he
stood once more in the little parlor on Third Street his mind
was busy with the future.
The lady, neatly attired in black, entered the room, and
W^ontus's heart at once jumped to his mouth. He bowed
ceremoniously and awkwardly. Her first movement was to
walk directly up to him and take his hand in hers, and with
sorrowful, but dignified accents, to ask his pardon. He would
have pardoned her if she had been a murderess ; but no word
escaped his lips.
" Perhaps I may have been wrong," she said, with a quiet
dignity, which the knowledge that she was doing right made
most affecting, " in asking you to come here this evening "
" Wrong? Oh, no, niad:an ; not at all ; not at all, I assure
you," replied Wontus, without waiting for the sentence to be
finished.
" You have been very kind," continued the lady, without
noticing the interruption.
" Don't mention, — don't speak of it," again interposed
Wontus.
He had seated himself, and, with an effort to appear calm
3J
350 * wax TVS, or
and collected, had inserted his thumbs into the tops of his
trousers' pockets, and was engapred in playing a tattoo with
his fingers on the waistband of his pantaloons.
'^And the recollection of your kindness has induced
me •" continued the lady.
" Please forget it; we'll both forget it," remarked Wontus,
nervously.
"To look back," again continued the lady, "and "
" Back f almost shouted Wontus, drawing his bands from
his pockets. He was growing excited — why or wherefore he
could not tell. " Back ! Let us look forward — forward ! I
am sorry, too, but not for myself — no, not for myself"
The lady looked at him for a moment, and, tben, as if she
feared a repetition of the morning's scene, arose to her feet,
and remarked :
" Mr. Wontus, I find, sir, that it will become necessary for
me to leave you "
'• Leave meT' gasped Wontus, a tumult of thoughts aggra-
vating his brain. " Your note ! Yes, madam, your note !"
He could proceed no further.
'• ^Ij note, sir," continued the lady, mildly, " had no refer-
ence to the past, except insomuch as your kindness was con-
cerned. You will please accept my thanks, and allow me to
bid you adieu. I cannot listen to you more. I shall always
remember you with feelings of the highest respect, and my
constant wish wilj be for your well-being and happiness. It
will be useless for you to call upon me again, sir, fur I leave
for Alabama — for the home of my father — by the next train.
I have my permit to cross the lines."
During the remarks of the lady Wontus had sat in speech-
less astonishment. He saw that he had made a mistake
somewhere, and he was ready to sink under the pressure of
shame which crowded upon him. The words of the speaker
had found a place in his head, as do the pictures of a drciim.
He certainly had not heard them, yet they were there ; not
clear and distinct, but in a confused mass, in which his own
thoughts and conclusions were oddly mixed. His whole ac-
quaintance, from the moment he first saw her at his former
lodging-s to the present, floated mistily before him ; but when
she spoke of returning to the home of her father, his hand in-
stinctively wandered to his pocket, and drawing a newspaper
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 351
tlierefrom, he hastily ran his eyes over the cokimns, and then
waited for her to conclude.
"Madam," he cried, as the lady was about leaving the
room, " I — I am very, most deeply — it was purely an acci-
dent ; but I considered it my dut}' — you will excuse me — but
— but your father "
Tears came unbidden to his eyes, and handing the lady the
paper, he pointed to the paragraph containing the news of her
father's death, and turned away.
There was a certain degree of studied calmness and gen-
tility about Mrs. Flick at all times. She was one of those
peculiar kind of people who can do the most unexpected
things so very naturally, that a short acquaintance was enough
to make you look upon her as being something above the
common average of women. This was her education. Un-
derlying that, like the shining, valuable gold which lies hid-
den amid the rocks fiir down in the bowels of the earth, was
her nature. We know — I mean the reader and myself know
— that she was deeply sensible, and, therefore, thankful to
Mr. Wontus for his unasked — I may add, unlooked for —
kindness. It is also probable that his confession of love
had some influence upon her, for the heart which does not
appreciate the pure, unselfish love of a fellow-being — ^be he or
she ever so humble — even if it is unreciprocated, must, in-
deed, be barren and hard.
She took the paper from our hero's hand, and the muscles
of her face relaxed, and she looked less annoyed. Nearing the
window, she looked at the paragraph beneath her finger and
read the awful news. The silence was unbroken by a breath.
The delicate peach-color gradually faded from her checks, and
an ashy paleness overspread her face. The paper fell from her
hands to the floor, and her large eyes wandered with a vacant
stare about the room. No tears came up to soothe and mingle
their sympathies with the overwhelming grief Her lips were
closed, dry, and bloodless ; she stood like one suddenly stricken
by the hand of Him on high, and Wontus looked on in awe.
Silently she sank to her knees upon the floor ; her hands were
clasped in an attitude of prayer, and her eyes were turned
heavenward. Her body swayed to and fro for a moment, and,
but for the loving arm of him that she would have sent from
her, she would have fallen prostrate on the floor. She had
352 WOXTUS, OR
fliintecl, and now lay pillowed on the breast of her truest
friend.
Let us here draw the veil, and proceed with the next chapter.
CHAPTER XXXIY.
DISPOSES OF SOME CHARACTERS, AND BEGINS THE END.
Antietam's fields had been soaked with the rich blood of
thousands, and was now almost forgotten, save by those who suf-
fered. Lee had taken command of the Army of Virginia, and
was lying behind his works at Fredericksburg, while McClellan
was treading upon the treacherous quicksands of politics. The
story of Pope's retreat, and the shame of Fitz John Porter,
was being freshened in the minds of the people by inquiries
concerning the conduct of the war, and disaster after disaster
followed, with nothing to brighten the gloom save an occa-
sional success on the sea.
Mr. Nidd was pursuing the even tenor of his ways, but with
a sharp eye upon his old friend Wontus. He (Nidd) had
always suspected that there was something more than a mere
feeling of friendship existing between AVontus and Mrs. Flick,
but now it had come to pass that Wontus had ceased referring
to that lady in any way ; and yet Nidd knew that his friend's
absence from the house of Mr, Diddler for two or three days
at a time was to be accounted for by his presence at the capi-
tal. Of course, Nidd knew that Wont us had no bills of any
kind whatever to put before Congress, but he felt that our hero
had a suit to press in the court of Cupid, and. with a delicacy
usually foreign to him. he respected his friend's modesty, and
refrained from ever giving vent to his knowledge or suspicions.
Thomas Thomson was improving in his manners and gene-
ral education. His travels, although moderate, had been of
great service to him, and intercourse with men and things
had taught him that a corps was not a corpse, although he
contended on all occasions when reading of the movements
of the anny that a coi-ps was a corpse, and that all the rules
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 353
of orthoepy could not alter it. A corpse was a corps all the
world over, and so he would and did pronounce it. But there
were some things which had been developed during his visit
to the army which he was never heard to refer to. He knew
that Miss Phillis Offley had been a frequent and anxious in-
quirer at the house of Mr. Diddler during his absence, and
this knowledge so increased his respect for that young woman
that his eyes never met hers without a crimson flush coming
to his cheek. But Phillis Oftley had ceased her visits now,
and Mr. Diddler was no longer called upon to answer the
question : " How is the young gentleman what has gone a
sogerin' ?" The young gentleman who had gone a soldiering
was on the spot, and his frequent appearance in the neigh-
borhood of a certain house on Third Avenue made it quite
certain that if he had the privilege of deciding, that question
would never been asked of mortal man again. Day after day
they gazed into each other's faces, and talked of things which
neither thought of Such, I am told, is the custom with
bashful lovers.
With the man as well as the master Mr. Nidd was in-
terested, and he watched the progress of events in both cases
with manifest interest. His own disappointments did not seem
to inflict a very deep wound, — although he hated now a cer-
tain individual more than ever, — and the lack of excitement
in his business was balanced by the friendly feeling he com-
menced to experience toward the members of the old corps of
observation. He was as austere and as didactic in his man-
ners as ever, but he no longer endeavored to hide the good
that was in him, but let it come to the surface with the bad,
— nature was playing her part untrammeled. Even Wilkins
had been forgiven, and as Wontus had particularly requested
it, a correspondence had been opened with that gentleman.
Aside, however, from this request of Mr. Wontus, Nidd had
some curiosity to gratify. He had always argued that Wilkins
was born to be hung, and that he might verify his thoughts,
he continued the correspondence with great regularity.
Strange as the statement may appear when we come to
remember the feeling between these gentlemen, this corre-
spondence was particularly agreeable to Wilkins, and for two
reasons. The first, and probably most important, was that it
enabled him to make frequent requisitions on his correspoud-
30*
354 WOXTUS, OR
ent for snail sums of money, for whicli he invarialjly re-
turned his promissory note, drawn up in the most scrupuious
legal form ; the second was, because it gave him such an op-
portunity as was not to be neglected, to detail the particulars
of some of his most dashing and daring exploits without fear
of contradiction. Need I add that these notes, as well as the
letters, fell into the hands of Mr. Wontus ? Nidd contended
that it was enough for him to write the letters, and therefore
declined being compelled to pay for the privilege.
I cannot undertake to relate here the incidents and adven-
tures so peculiarly and graphically described by the man who
experienced theili. They were numerous and without a par-
allel, as was generally the case with everything which Benja-
min Wilkins recited. That he should be the confidential
friend and adviser of most of the prominent generals I have
only to refer to his letters to prove ; that he refused numerous
promotions and offices of great honor I am assured from the
same source. I feel sorry to part with Benjamin, and yet, as
with all the rest, he must be disposed of What better place
can I leave him in than in the army ? Here he stands alone,
in all the glory with which he has surrounded himself. He
has become the master of a wagon and six mules ; has ac-
cepted the position much against the wishes of his superiors,
who want him to go higher, simply because here he can make
himself most useful. He grows in popularity and influence
with a speed never before equaled, and his last letter hints
strongly at his soon yielding to the overtures already made,
when, in case he does yield, he becomes the commander of at
least a brigade of the army.
l^Votc. — Benjamin AVilkins did not yield.]
The friendship which had been cultivated under such sin-
gular and exciring circumstances between Wontus and Lath-
rop Blakely was lasting and most agreeable. The colonel was
colonel no longer. A star graced his shoulder, and where
bullets flew thickest there he was to be found. He was the
cheerful volunteer for every forlorn-hope, and although Won-
tus believed that his telling Blakely of his (Wontus's) afi'ec-
tion for his diU-iing Kate would be adding sorrow to a heart
already heavy, yet his sense of honor would not permit him to
withhold it. The letter which he received from the colonel
in return was laden with the kin. lest wis cs for his correspond-
THE CORPS OF OSSEEYATION. 355
ent's happiness in the future, but lie declined, most positively,
to be present on the one particular day in the near future at
which time Mr. Wontus declared he would cease to live for no-
thing. His duty was with the ai-my ; there he would remain.
Those who were about him said that his every-day life was
an enigma to his friends ; he lived, as it were, in a dream.
Occasionally his inborn nature — that nameless spirit which
He has placed in every human breast — would come to the sur-
face, only to be throttled and thrown back into the deep gloom
of a disappointed heart. Courteous and kind at all times, there
was an air about him which forbade inquiry, and his secrets
of the past were hidden from the gaze of a curious world.
As we already know, Edward Pason Montcalm Higginson
was ever a feature in the mind of Gascon Nidd. From the
very moment in which he first laid eyes on that gentleman, he
seemed to take an unconquerable dislike to him, and the dif-
ferent accidents which threw them together in later days
added no panacea to the cancerous sore. It is not known that
Mr. Higginson ever cared a snap of his finger for Mr. Nidd
or his dislike ; but this could not be said of Nidd, for in a
letter which that gentleman (Nidd) wrote to a mutual friend
on his return from the army the following is found :
" Edward Pason Montcalm Higginson, otherwise ' Scri-
bendi,' was such a man as can be seen in the political arena
every day. With a fine appearance, and a nature which bid
him seek credit for all that is good, he visited the army be-
cause he needed the knowledge and the evidence of men to
forward his ambitious, selfish purposes. Cringing and circum-
spect in the presence of those whose stations in life he believed
made them his superiors ; clownish and forcibly gay in the
presence of those by whom he was occasionally acknowledged
as an ec|ual ; boorish, and like the master of a dog, who kicks
or fondles with his animal as circumstances or his passions
dictate, he found it necessary at times to mingle with a class
which he judged to be his inferiors {iclio makes one Uian the
judge of his neighbor?), and thus occasionally found himself
in tile company of those who, when the rich and powerful
passed him, made him blush for his associations.
" He, like the rest of us, has returned, and his arrival has been
blazoned in the columns of the newspapers, and his deeds of
35 G WOXTUS, OR
bravery and hardiliocJ arc only excelled by those of the greatest
living fabricator, Benjamin Wilkins. He speaks of the great
men he has met, and details his conversation with them, with
an exactness painful to listen to. With him, like the followers
of Hamlet, clouds very like a whale vanished into thin air, or
assume another shape at a word from wealth or power. His
humbleness and impudence is Heep-like, and he knows well
where to use either commodity to the best advantage."
In vain Mr. Wontus endeavored to induce Xidd to forget
that such a man as '• Scribendi " ever lived. Nidd was changed
and softened in many respects, but concerning the individual
who had been more fortunate than himself, — for a woman was
at the bottom of it after all, — he knew no change, no mercy ;
nothing: but hatred old and bitter.
CHAPTER XXXV.
MAKES WONTUS HAPPY AND ENDS THE BOOK.
The time has at length arrived when I must bid adieu to
the friends who have been before me so many weeks, and whose
forms I have so many times during those weeks wished to
banish from my presence forever. But now that the hour is
at hand when I must say good-by, I find in my heart a desire
to linger with them just a little while longer. Even the yel-
lowish paper which lies on my table, filled with the angular
charactei-s which have had so much to do with the creation of
the men and women of the story, has become a flimiliar object
for me to gaze upon, and habit has taught me to look for it.
But the spot will soon be vacant now, for the end is near.
Time had altered Mr. Wontus in more ways than one. He
was graver and more sedate than formerly. He was braver,
too, and more self-reliant. Something had changed him. True,
his associates found him much the same as before, yet his tast<?s
were different,- and even Xidd, his particular friend and com-
panion, found it impossible to drag him from the voluntary
seclusion which he now seemed to enjoy so much.
THE CORPS OF OBSERYATIOX. 357
"Wasliington, once so distjistefiil and distressing to liim, had
undergone a strange metamorphosis in a few short montlis.
It was now a charming pUice, and its magical influences were
so strong that our hero was never more higlily pleased and
better satisfied than when alighting from the cars of that soli-
tary railroad leading into the capital. He acknowledged this, and
spoke by experience. His Sundays, and frequently other days,
were regularly spent there, and had been for some time. He
had come to think that he had something to live for.
When we last saw him, he had just communicated to Mrs.
Flick the news of her father's death, and she had swooned away
in his arms. As the couple looked at that moment, it was
questionable which of them was entitled to the most sympathy.
The face of the lady as she lay upon his shoulder was white,
and as rigid as marble ; the face of the gentleman was exceed-
ingly red, and his whole form trembled with emotion. Afraid
to call for help, lest his position might be misunderstood, and
never having been placed in such a position before, his corpulent
body swayed to and fro like a drunken man, and he felt that
the moment was drawing near when he would certainly faint
himself. But that moment did not come. Slowly his charge
opened her eyes and gazed about her, and then extended her
hand toward a chair. Mr. Wontus understood the movement,
and tenderly seating the lady, drew the table in front of her, and
then looked as if he would like to do something else for her
relief, without knowing how or where to commence. It was
a very painful sight, was this sorrowing woman for Mr. Wontus
to look upon, and he felt very awkward indeed as he walked
around the room endeavoring to find something upon which he
might rivet his attention until such time as it would be proper
for him to speak. He at length reached the window, and was
standing there looking into the street, with his thoughts a con-
fused mass which he found impossible to untangle, when his
attention was attracted by a movement of the lady. As he
turned toward her, he noticed that she had regained consider-
ably her usual composure, and with tear-wet eyes was gazing
abstractedly upon the floor.
" x\ll gone !" she moaned. " Whither shall I turn ? What
shall I do?" Her head bent forward as she spoke, and her
voice was low and pleading.
At this moment our hero could bear anything better than
358 wax TVS, or
silence. " Madnru," vSaid he, his voice low and tremulous
with emotion, '' please consider me your protector. I have no
desire to be more than a father — no, not exactly a father — to
3'ou, and I sympathize with j^ou most deeply. I love — I would
love " He could say no more.
It was a long while ere either spoke again ; but when the
silence was broken, the lady spoke in her slow, sad way : " My
best, nay, my dearest friend, I owe you much. — much more
than I can speak. To whom in this hour of my greatest grief
can I turn for that sympatliy and that succor which I so sadly
need ? Where are my friends ? To whom shall I look for a
word of counsel?"' As she finished speaking she turned her
expressive eyes upon "Wontus, and in a moment more that gen-
tleman was swearing eternal fidelity at her knees. She should
come to him, he would be her protector, and a father to her
child. The curtain falls.
That evening Mr. \Yontus returned to his hotel without
knowing whether he had walked or flown. His offer had been
accepted, and the widow and her child were his to protect and
defend until some one with a better right should take his place.
This accounted for his frequent visits to Washington after he
had returned to New York ; and this accounted for the many
changes in his disposition and mode of life. At first he had
looked upon himself as simply the guardian of the woman he
loved, but as he became a more frequent visitor his old ideas
returned. He pressed his suit delicately at first, and was met
with a mild rebuff, which only added stimulant to his passion ;
and ere the fall had settled into winter he was the affianced
husband of the only woman he had ever had the courage to
propose to. He informed Xidd of his engagement, and re-
quested that gentleman's assistance. He should have it.
It was January. The ides of the month had come, and the
snow stood on the house-tops like icing on a wedding-cake ;
it glistened in the morning sun like burnished silver, and the
air was keen and searching. It was the crowning day of
Wontus's life; it was his wedding-day. and he felt the respon-
sibilities of his situation. All the preparations had been m;.de.
Phillis Offley had become a part of his household, and certainly
no more careful and dutiful servant could have been selected.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 359
"For the last time Wontus looked upon himself as a bachelor ;
henceforth he was to wear the chains of a benedict, and he
was wondering what the future had in store for him.
Yesterday he had bid adieu to Mr. Diddler and his interest-
ing family, and now he stood in his own house on Lexington
Avenue, and gazed out of the window and worked nervously
at the white kid gloves which the dictates of fashion com-
pelled him to wear on this most important occasion. Bright,
cheerful fires threw their ruddy glare on the window-panes of
the newly and neatly-furnished house, and the merry jingle of
the passing sleighs came to his heart like the glad tidings of a
rejuvenated life, and that told him that others were as happy as
himself.
Two hours were yet wanting ere the important moment was
at hand, and Wontus wished that it was either further oif or
over; and he wandered from room to room with alternate
shades of joy and sadness overspreading his face. For the
hundredth time he had questioned Miss Offley concerning the
wardrobes and other fixtures of the chambers, and Thomas
Thomson had made himself tired in following his master about
and replacing the articles of furniture which Wontus in his
nervous excitement was constantly displacing.
I have always thought that Mr. Wontus's love was more the
result of accident than design. That he did love, and love
most earnestly, certainly none can question. But I have al-
ways thought that had any other woman been thrown in his
way the result would have been all the same. His nature was
all love, and his sympathies went out to every human being iu
distress. A veneration for woman, so high as to be almost
verging on the unnatural, had kept him a single man thus far,
and now his mind was so laden with the prospects of the new
life which his imagination spread before him that he seemed
to exist in that sphere generally assigned to Mahomet's coffin.
He had no fears for anything but himself, and the question
which he asked himself many times was whether he was worthy.
I have often wondered how it was that no question of her
love for him ever appeared to enter his mind. He loved, and
that was all he cared for. If she did not love in return, he
would ask her to respect him, and for this he would dedicate
his life to her. This was his mental resolve as he paced the
floor and awaited the all-important moment.
3G0 WOXTCS, OR
The bride had arrived the evening before in charge of Mr.
Nidd, and was now at the St. Nicholas ; the arrangements for
the wedding had all been made by the same gentleman, and
the preliminaries were disposed of with combined legal and
military exactness. There was no unnecessai-y, and hence
foolish, expenditure of money ; nor was there any ostentatious
show. Everything which Nidd did was after the same style
in which the gentleman had taught himself to live, and al-
though Wontus occasionally complained at the want of style,
he was invariably silenced with the remark that he (Xidd)
had been there, and knew that the money saved could be
mad of far greater and better use in some other direction.
They might want bread some time.
Mr. Diddler, his family, and a few particular personal
friends, were all that were invited to witness the ceremony,
and at two o'clock p.m. Olympus Wontus, with his wife on
his arm, walked into the house on Lexington Avenue, fol-
lowed by Mr. Nidd, with Diddler's daughter, '• Sis," Thomas
Thomson, and Phillis Offley. The bride was attired in a
dress of sombre hues, and her face was pale and thin, but as
she entered the parlor her eyes beamed with a look of sub-
dued happiness, and ere Mr. Wontus was aware of it she had
pillowed her head upon his heart. The storm was over, and
the ship was in the harbor of safety.
*' Should'st thoix live but once love's sweets to prove,
Thou wilt not love to live, unless thou live to love."
It was a part of Mr. Wontus's agreement with himself, that
under no circumstances woiild he ever refer to the past history
of his wife. He knew many things- concerning her which he
had learned from his friend Blakely, but he felt that she
would be happier if she did not know that he knew of them ;
and the days that were passing, although sometimes cold and
cheerless without, were always bright and happy within.
Sometimes he saw shades of sadness steal over his wife's
countenance as they read of the movements of the two oppos-
ing armies, but he knew that that was but natural, and as
each was content to live for the other, matters of oiDinion were
never permitted to disturb the serene happiness of their lives ;
and thus time flew by, and Mr. Wontus blessed the day on
which he had organized the Corps of Observation.
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. ^Qi
Among the most regular visitors whom Wontus could boast
of was Gascon Nidd. He had come to be very fond of Mrs.
Wontus and the little one, and occasionally referred to what
might have been had he had fair play. On these occasions
Mr. Wontus would laugh, and repeat what he had often said
before : that it was never too late to mend.
It was evening when Mr. Nidd unceremoniously rushed in
upon the privacy of the newly-married couple. He made no
apologies ; he attempted no excuse. His face wore an expres-
sion unusual of late, and was painfully savage. It was only
after he had drawn a newspaper from his pocket and shook
out its rustling folds that he deigned to speak.
^" Wontus," said he, and he clinched his lips as he spoke,
"I have a Philadelphia paper here. As it contains something
of interest to you, your good lady will probably allow me to
read it." Mr. Nidd might have left the latter part of his
speech unspoken, for before either Wontus or his " good lady"
had an opportunity to reply, the conveyancer cleared his
throat with an effort, and, stepping up to the light, read the
following, which he declared had the merit of having been
written by the recipient of the honors :
" We congratulate the President, the army, and our citizens
generally, over the fact that our esteemed and distinguished
fellow-citizen. Colonel Edward Pason Montcalm Higginson,
has received the unsolicited [remarks of a violent character
from the reader] appointment of minister to one of the most
powerful nations of the world. Mr. Higginson is a gentleman
of fine abilities [continuation of remarks], and although not a
journalist by profession, has contributed many most entertain-
ing and valuable articles to the columns of the different jour-
nals of this and other cities. He has but recently returned
from the sanguinary battle-fields [more remarks] of the Penin-
sula and elsewhere, and carries with him not only the respect
of the generals with whom he served, but many scars received
in honorable conflict. His services to the country have been
most valuable [cutting sarcasm by the reader], and it is with
peculiar pleasure that we congratulate him, personally, on the
further sacrifice [complicated words of advice and extended
remarks on sacrifices] which he feels it his duty to make.
He leaves for his new field of labor in a few days, accompa-
nied by his charming wife, and carries with him the hearty
Q 31
362 WOXTUS, OR
good wishes and most profound confidence of the government
and a host of loving friends."
" There !" cried Nidd, throwing the papers upon the floor,
and speaking with a vehemence customary under such circum-
stances, " there's a man who has nothing to recommend him
but his fliwning impudence, appointed to a lucrative ofl&ce,
while deserving" maimed men, who served their country out
of a pure and unselfish patriotic love, are left to fight poverty
and distress unaided, except by the hand of charity, while this
fellow is crowned with honors and lives in elegance and ease.
" I know him, — we know him,'' he continued, after a brief
pause, and addressing himself to Wontus, as though he ex-
pected that gentleman to back up his assertion, "don't we?
He wears the^ graces of Apollo, the beard of Hercules, and the
frowns of Mars ; but has, as Shakspeare says, ' a liver white as
milk.' " (Another pause, during which Mr. Wontus endeavored
to turn the conversation into a more pleasing and less abusive
channel.) " Great heavens !" continued Nidd, his manner
evincing intense disgust, " this should not be. I know that
that man (he pointed in the direction in which Washington
was supposed to lie) has been deceived."'
At this juncture Mrs. Wontus came to her husband's aid,
and with a woman's tact seized upon the suggestive pointing
of Nidd, to dilate at considerable length upon the many kind
actions of Mr. Lincoln. She would suffer no interruption, and
thus Edward Pason Montcalm Higginson was permitted to
enjoy his honors and his journey in peace. Mr. Nidd had no
words for any other subject, and ere the hour of ten had ar-
rived he could have been found in his lonely lodgings, deep in
cogitations over the cunning and deceit of people of both sexes.
When the gentle zephyrs of summer were waving the green,
fresh grass in the park, it was no unusual sight to see Mr.
Wontus, but a few short months before a bachelor, leading a
handsome little boy along the gravelly walks, and listening to
his childlike prattle with all the fondness of a loving parent.
Both Wontus and the child looked happy. The kind nature
of the man had won the child's affection, and he claimed Mr.
Wontus as his fiither.
If you asked the boy his name, he would tell you in a bold,
defiant way, that it was Lee Wigfall Wontus. If you went
THE CORPS OF OBSERVATION. 363
further and asked him which side of the great struggle he
favored, he would tell you that he loved the old flag, with its
pretty stripes and stars, — that he was a Union man and a
Yankee.
On these occasions Mr. Wontus would laugh most heartily, and
if you questioned Mm concerning the truth of the child's as-
sertion, he would refer you to Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Thomson,
who presided over certain departments in the house on Lex-
ington Avenue, and who, he declared, knew as much about his
affairs as he did himself.
THE END.
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Ferny Jm7'st Court. An Every -day Story. By th&
author of " Stone Edge," " Lettice Lisle," etc. With nu-
merous Illustrations. 8vo. Paper cover. 60 cents.
"An excellent novel of English so- I "An excellent story."— ^<7Sif^«7i7«r-
cietv, with many good engravings." — nal.
Philadelphui Press. \
C7VSS' Purposes. A Christmas Experie^ice in Seven
Stages. By T. C. de Leon, author of " Four Years in
Rebel Capitals," " Pluck, a Comedy," etc. With Illustra-
tions. i6mo. Tinted paper. Extra cloth. $1.25.
"The plot is most skillfully handled,
and the style is bright and sparkling."
- -New York Commercial A dvertiser.
" The reader will begin the narra-
tive without a desire to finisn it before
he has laid it down again." — Neia
York Times.
Himself his Worst Enemy ; or, Philip, Duke of
Wharton's Career. By Alfred P. Broiherhead. i2mo.
Fine cloth. $2.
"The story is very entertaining and I for this creditable work." — Pkiladel'
very well told." — Boston Post. phia Ledger.
" The author is entitled to high praise |
In Exile. A Novel. Translated from the German
of W. VON St. i2nio. Fine cloth. $2.
"No more interesting work of fiction i " A feast for heart and imagination.'
has been issued for some time."— ^i!. —Philadelphia Evening Bulletin.
Louis Democrat. |
The Struggle in Ferrara. A Story of the Reforina^
tion in Italy. By William Gilbert, author of " De Pro-
fundis," etc. Profusely Illustrated. 8vo. Paoer cover.
$1. Cloth. $1.50.
" Few works of religious fiction com-
pare with this in intensity, reality and
value." — Philadelphia North Ameri-
"It is a well-told story «.*the Re-
formation in \Xz\^."—Congregatiotia\
Quarterly.
Margueiite Kent. A Novel. By Marion W. Wayut.
i2mo. Fine cloth. ^2.
•* Marguerite Kent,' by Mrs. Mar-
ion W. Wayne, is an American novel,
original in many of its characters, nat-
ural in dialogue, artisticai in descrip-
tions of .scenery, probable in its inci-
dents and so thoroughly imbued with
individuality that the story, which has
taken the autobiographical form, has
itnpressed us with a strong feeling of
reality and truth." — Philadelphia
Press.
■' Is a novel of thought as well as
of action, of the inner as well as of
the outer life." — New Yo*-k Eve-ing
Mail
" The plot is novel and ingenious."
— Portland Transcript,
PUBLICATIONS OF J. B. LIPPIXCOTT 5^ CO.
Thrown Together. A Story. By Florence Mont-
gomer)', author of "Misunderstood," "A Very Simple
Story," etc. l2mo. Fine cloth. $1.50.
The author of ' Misunderstood' i is a deep and strong current of religioat
has ^ven us another charming story
of child-life. This, however, is not a
book for children. Adult readers of
Miss Montgomery's book will find
mucli that will lead them to profitable
reflection of childish character and
many graphically touched terms of
childish thought and expression which
will come home to their own experi-
Jnce." — London Ath^7UBunt.
•' A delightful stor>', founded upon
the lives of children. There is a
thread of gold in it upon which are
strung n?any lovely sentiments. There
feeling throughout the story, not a
prosy, unattractive lecturing upon re-
ligious subjects. A good, true and
earnest life is depicted, full of hope
and longing, and of happy fi-uition.
One cannot read this book without
being better for it, or without a more
tender charity being stirred up in his
heart." — IVasking^on Daily Chron-
icle.
'' The characters are drawn with a
delicacy that lends a charm to the
book." — Boston Saturday Evening
Gazette.
[2mo. Fine cloth. $1.75.
perusal and approval than 'Only i
Girl :' and ' Why Did He Not Die -»
possesses in at least an equal degree
all the elements of popularity. From
the beginning to the end the interest
never flags, and the characters and
scenes are drawn with great warmth
and power." — New York Herald,
By Emily T Read. d>vo.
Why Did He Not Die ? or, The Child from the
Ebraergang. From the German of Ad. von Volckhausei,.
By Mrs. A. L. Wister, translator of " Old Mam'selle's Se
cret," " Gold Elsie," etc.
" Mrs. Wister's admirable transla-
fions are among the books that every-
Dody reads. She certainly may be
said to possess unusual ability in re-
taining the peculiar weird flavor of a
German story, while rendering it with
Eerfect ease and grace into our own
inguage. Few recently published
novels have received more general
Aytoun. A Romance.
Paper cover. 40 cents.
"The febric is thoroughly wrought | "There are elements of power in
and truly dramatic." — Philadelphia i the novel, and some exciting scenes."
North American. \ — Xew York Evening Mail.
Old Song and New. A Volume of Poems. By
Margaret J. Preston, author of " Beechenbrook." i2mo.
Tinted paper. Extra cloth. $2.
" In point of variety and general I ship of which none need be ashamed,
grace of diction. 'Old Song and New' while much vies with our best lidng
js the best %'olume of poems that has I writers. Strength and beaut>-, scholar-
yet been written by an American ship and fine intuition are manifested
woman, whether North or South — the throughout so as to charm the reader
best, because on the whole the best , and assure honorable distinction to
n stained and the most thoughtful."— the writer. Such poetry is in no danger
B'lltimore Gazette. \ of becoming too abundant." — Phila-
" In this volume there is workman- i delphia Xorth A fnerican,
Margarce. A Poem. By Hampden Masson,
l6mo. Extra cloth. 75 cents.
PUBLICATIONS OF J. B. LIFPINCOTT &> CO.
Tricotrin. The Story of a Waif and Stray. By
•' OuiDA," author of " Under Two Flags," etc. With Por-
trait of the Author from an Engraving on Steel. i2nio.
Cloth. $2.
" The story is full of vivacity and
of thrilling interest." — Pittsburgh Ga-
zette.
" Tricotrin is a work of absolute
power, some truth and deep interest."
—N. Y. Day Book.
" The book abounds in beautiful
sentiment, expressed in a concen-
trated, compact style which cannot fail
to be attractive and will be read with
pleasure in every household.' — San
Francisco Times.
Bondage.
Granville de Vigne ; or, Held in
Tale of the Day. By " Ouida," author of " Idalia," "
cotrin," etc. i2mo. Cloth. $2.
"This is one of the most powerful | present century, so prolific in
lite
A
Tri-
light
lind spicy works of fiction which the | literature, has produced."
Strathmore ; or. Wrought by His Own Hand. A
Novel. By " OuiDA," author of " Granville de Vigne,"
etc. i2mo. Cloth. $2.
" It is a romance of the intense
school, but it is written with more
power, fluency and brilliancy than the
works of Miss Braddon and Mrs.
Wood, while its scenes and characters
are taken from high life." — Boston
Transcript.
Chandos. A Novel. By " Ouida^' author of
" Strathmore," " Idalia," etc.
"Those who have read these two
last named brilliant works of fiction
(Granville de Vigne and Strathmore)
will be sure to read Chandos. It is
characterized by the same gorgeous
!2mo. Cloth. %2.
coloring of style and somewhat exag-
gerated portraiture of scenes and cha-
racters, but it is a story of surprising
power and interest." — Pittsburgh Eve-
ning Chrofiicle.
Under Two Flags. A Story of the Household and
the Desert. By " OuiDA," author of " Tricotrin," " Gran-
ville de Vigne," etc. i2mo. Cloth. $2.
*• No one will be able to resist its
fascination who once begins its peru-
sal." — Phila. Evening Bulletin.
" This is probably the most popular
work of Ouida. It is enough of itself
Piiek. His Vicissitudes, Adventures, Observations,
Conclusions, Friendship and Philosophies. By " OuiDA,"
author of " Strathmore," " Idalia," " Tricotrin," etc.
i2mo. Fine cloth. $2.
"Its quaintness will provoke laugh-
ter, while the interest in the central
character is kept up unabated." — Al-
bany Journal.
to establish her fame as one of the
most eloquent and graphic writers of
fiction now living." — Chicago Journal
0/ Commerce.
" It sustains the widely-spread popu-
larity of the author." — Pittsburgh Go-
zette.
PUBLICATIONS OF J. B. LIPPLVCOTT &> CO.
The Old ManiselWs Secret. From the German of
E. Marlitt, author of " Gold Elsie," etc. By Mrs. A. L.
WisTER. Sixth edition. i2mo. Cloth. %l ^o.
" A more charming story, and one centrated. compact novels of the day.
wliich, having once commenced, it [ . . . And the work has the minute
seemed more difficult to leave, we fidelity of the author of 'The Initials,
have not met with for many a day."-
The Round Table.
" Is one of the most intense, con-
the dramatic unity of Reade and the
graphic power of George ElioL"
Columbus (C?.> Journal.
Gold Elsie. From the German of E. Marlitt, author
of " The Old Mam'selle's Secret," etc. By Mrs. A. L.
WiSTER. Fifth edition. i2mo. Cloth. $1.50.
"A charming book. It absorbs I "A charming story charminglj
your attention from the title-page to told." — Baltimore Gazette.
the end." — The Home Circle. \
Countess Gisela. From the German of E. Marlitt^
author of '• Gold Elsie," etc. By Mrs. A. L. Wister.
Third edition. i2mo. Cloth. $1.50.
"There is more dramatic power in \ est of the reader from the outset."—
this than in any of the stories by the
same author that we have read." — N.
O. Times.
" It is a story that arouses the inter-
Piitsbur^h Gazette.
"The best work by this author."—
Phiiadelphia Telegraph.
Over Yonder. From the German of E. Marlitt,
author of " Countess Gisela," etc. Third edition. With
a full-page Illustration. 8vo. Paper cover. 30 cents.
" ' Over Yonder ' is a charming ant of the merits of this author will
novelette. The admirers of ' Old find in it a pleasant introduction to the
Mam'selle's Secret' will give it a glad works of a gifted writer." — Daily Sen-
reception, while those who are ignor- | tinel.
The Little Moorla?id Pnncess. From the Germajt
of E. Marlitt, author of " The Old Mam'selle's Secret,"
" Gold Elsie," etc. By Mrs. A. L. Wister. Fourth edi-
tion. i2rao. P'ine cloth. ^1.75.
"By far the best foreign romance of I up to its balmy influence."— CA«:<iif»
the season." — Philadelphia Press. I Evening Jourtial.
" It is a great luxury to give one's self |
Magdalena. From the German of E. Marlitt,
author of" Countess Gisela," etc. And The Lonely Ones
("The Solitaries"). From the German of Paul Heyse,
With two Illustrations. 8vo. Paper cover. 35 cents.
"We know of no way in which a ] either of these tales." — IndiatuxpolM
leisure hour may be more pleasantly | Sentinel.
whiled away than by a perusal oi
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