BLACK HOME 
 S^JIMTOWN 
 
 ED MO IT 
 
y • 
 
 LIBRARY 
 
 OF THE 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROLINA, 
 
 Endowed by the Dialectic and Philanthropic Societies. 
 
 Alcovk Shelf 
 
 •BONOS' 
 
 ■ 1^ • -le^ 
 
z. 
 
 3 
 
 This book must not 
 be taken from the 
 Library building. 
 
 Form No. 471 
 
 H 
 
THE BLACK HOMER OF 
 JIMTOWN 
 
r^e BLACK HOMER 
 
 ./ J I M T O W N 
 
 By Ed. Mott 
 
 AUTHOR OF ''PIKE COUNTY FOLKS'' 
 ''THE OLD SETTLER,'' ETC., ETC. 
 
 GROSSET & DUNLAP 
 
 ELEVEN EAST SIXTEENTH STREET 
 NEW YORK : : : : : : : : igoo 
 
These sketches originally appeared in the columns Oi 
 The New York Sun, and the author and publishers wish 
 to acknowledge the courtesy of the editor in permitting 
 their publication in book form. 
 
 Copyright, 1898 and 1S99, by 
 The Sun Printing and Publishing Association. 
 
 Copyright, 1900, by Grosset & Dunlap. 
 
JiMTOWN is in the piney woods, where the 
 air is soft and dry and balmy, and people live 
 long. The Black Homer dwells there. If you 
 should journey that way, you may find him at 
 his cabin, or perhaps at work in the turpen- 
 tine woods. Look him up, and it m.ay be that 
 he will tell you tales like these, if not some 
 that will be still more startling, of the days his 
 old mammy and Mahs' McKeever were wont to 
 remember, either personally or by proxy. 
 
 The Author. 
 
 ^0*50 \5^ 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 PAGE. 
 
 The Rise and Fall of Absalom 7 
 
 The Man from Caloosa-Hatchee 23 
 
 V A Plague of Egypt 35 
 
 Persecuted Sandy Bunn 49 
 
 Polite Simson Cowlip 63 
 
 Poor Bear's Bad Brother 81 
 
 The Selfish Gobbler 95 
 
 A Vanished Heap of Gold 1 1 1 
 
 The Jug of Live-Forever Water 127 
 
 Saved, by the Man in the Moon 141 
 
 One-eye Pete Neaffie's Parrot 155 
 
 vScornful Sue and Lean Lucinda 173 \ 
 
 King Bip 1S9 
 
 The Bones of Bozar Bunn 207 
 
 The Cranky Crane 223 , 
 
 Little Davy 239 
 
 Headless Ghost that Walked with a Crutch 261 
 
 Snuffy Sam's Kingdom 273 
 
THE RISE AND FALL OF 
 ABSALOM. 
 
i 
 
THE RISE AND FALL OF ABSALOM. 
 
 The Black Homer of Jimtown Introduces Mahs' 
 McKeever by an Impressive Temperance Tale 
 from the Cape Fear Country, 
 
 No, suh, I doan' bean bo'n in dis hyuh tah- 
 pentine belt on de sand hills o' de piney woods. 
 No, suh. I done spreng up 'way down yon in 
 de Cape Fair kentry, yeahs an' yeahs 'fo' de 
 wah, suh. An' I done spreng up on de ol' 
 McKeevuh plahntation, whah Mahs' IMcKeevuh's 
 fadduh an' he fadduh's fadduhs dey done spreng 
 up, too, ginerations an' ginerations of 'em, an' 
 whah my ol' mammy an' huh mammy, an' huh 
 mammy's mammy, I reckon, dey done spreng up 
 an' flo'rish an' pahs away ovuh Jo'dan w'en dey 
 time it come to pahs away — an' dey pahs aw^ay 
 happy, too, so dey do, suh ! IMighty fine times 
 we use to have down dah, suh ! An' Mahs' 
 McKeevuh ! Duh nevuh bean setch a man 
 
10 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 lack he bean ! I got oodles an' oodles o' tings 
 I kin tell yo' 'bout dat man an' de wun'ful skiv- 
 ellations he know bout defambly an' de plahn- 
 tations, an' de crackinacious tings he say an' do ! 
 Wun'ful, suh ! Wun'ful man, Mahs' McKeevuh 
 done bean, an' duh hain' bean no glimmuh nor 
 glammuh down yon, suh, since he glide to de 
 udduh sho', an' de plahntation it doan' be Mahs' 
 McKeevuh's no mo'. 
 
 Mahs' McKeevuh done give me a pow'ful 
 temp'unce lectchuh one time down yon, an' I 
 done fight mighty shy o' 'simmon beeuh, an' 
 scup'nong wine, an' peach an' honey, an' w'ite 
 co'n lickuh, suh, ev' sence dat time. Jicketty ! 
 Peahs to me lack I nevuh did heah tell o' setch 
 a temp'unce lectchuh lack dat lectchuh done 
 bean ! Ef all de cullud folks in de piney 
 woods kin have setch a temp'unce lectchuh 
 lack dat, duh done bean a powuhful sight mo' 
 nigguhs in de meetin' house, suh, hoUuh'n 
 ' Glory ! ' an' a mighty sight less of 'em snickin' 
 to de cock fight wiv a razuh in dey pocket ! 
 Yes, suh ! Sho's yo' bo'n ! 
 
 Long time sence de wah, Mahs' McKeevuh — • 
 co'se, he doan' bean Mahs' McKeevuh no mo' 
 den, but we des' natch'ly call him mahsuh 'kase 
 
The Rise and Fall of Absalom, ii 
 
 we cain't get out'n de way of it, an' he mighty 
 fine man — ]\lahs' McKeevuh he done t'ink he 
 go up No'th an' see how t'ings lookin' up dah, 
 an' he kim home bahmby tickle mos' to deff 
 ovuh a feesh pond w'at he done see on a man's 
 plahntation up dah, an' he tu'n to an' meek a 
 feesh pond fo' he ownseff right in de do' yahd. 
 An' he sen' an' he git gold feesh an' silvuh 
 feesh an' red feesh an' streaky feesh an' craw- 
 feesh, heaps an' heaps of 'em, an' tu'n 'em in de 
 pond, an' dey 'peah mighty fine, de way dey 
 scoot an' scrummage an' ramificate roun' in dat 
 pond, suh — mighty fine! Den, one day Mahs' 
 iNIcKeevuh he cotch in he net a monst'us big 
 mullet, an' he tu'n de mullet in de pond. De 
 mullet he root an' poke he snoot roun' on de 
 bottom, an' he so despu't bad lookin'dat mahsuh 
 he teck a great shine to him an' name him 
 Absalom. 
 
 One day Mahs' ]\IcKeevuh he bean watchin' 
 Absalom pokin' he snoot roun' an' roun' an' in 
 an' out, des' lack he bean sahchin' fo' sufiin' an' 
 he cain't fine it, an' bahmby mahsuh say : 
 
 " Tony," he say, " 'peahs to me dat dah feesh 
 done bean mighty dry. Dat feesh bean lookin' 
 fo' a drink o' suffin, sho's yo' bo'n ! " he say. 
 
12 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 I have to snickuh w'en mahs' he say dat, an' I 
 tink to myseff : " Guess yo' bean lookin' fo' 
 suffin' to drink yo' ownseff, Mahs' McKeevuh, 
 an' done foun' it, suh ! " But I say : 
 
 *' Sho, mahsuh ! " I say. " Feesh dey doan' 
 drink nuffin' ! Ef dey do, ain' day got de hull 
 pond to he'p deyseffs in ? " 
 
 "Tony," Mahs' McKeevuh say, "dat mullet 
 Absalom he know too much to drink wahtah ! " 
 an' mahsuh go to de house. Bahmby he kim 
 back wiv a bottle o' milk, an' he done fit a noz- 
 zle on it, suh. Den he shove dat nozzle down in 
 de pond, an' Absalom he cock he eye up at it a 
 spell, an' den he wiggle up an' grab it. He suck 
 he big mouf fullo' milk, but 'peaks he doan' lack 
 it, an' he sput it out an' wiggle back to de bot- 
 tom an' look up at Mahs' McKeevuh des' lack he 
 done bean 'gusted wiv him. I\Iahs' he lie back 
 an' snickuh an' chuckle. 
 
 " Absalom he done t'ink I teck him fo' a calf," 
 mahsuh say, " an' he doan' lack it ! I reckon 
 dat dat feesh know a heap," mahsuh say, " an' I 
 des' gwan to see how peeuht he done bean." 
 
 Den mahs' he ponduh in his mind an' bahmby 
 he say : 
 
 "Tony," he say, *'I done b'lieve dls hyuh 
 
The Rise and Fall of Absalom. 13 
 
 Absalom know so much dat 'simmon beeuh des' 
 gwan to set good on he system ! " 
 
 Now I des' pinin' fo' 'simmon beeuh my own- 
 seff, 'kaze I know de heaps o'joy duh bean in it, 
 an' I cain't satiate myseff to t'ink Alahs' Mc- 
 Keevuh done gwan to cas' he beeuh on de wah- 
 tuhs dat a-way, des' fo' dat ol' mud-snoot mullet 
 to poke he nose in, an' me right dah a-quiv'n an' 
 a-shiv'n fo' des' a little sniff of it my ownseff, an' 
 I holluh : 
 
 " Go 'way, Mahs' McKeevuh ! " I holluh. 
 " Dat monst'us foolish, suh ! Doan' yo' go 
 squanduh 'simmon beeuh on a clay-rootin' feesh 
 w'at ain' got no lips to smack ovuh it, suh, an' 
 cain't feel its snap. Dat de mos' onciv'lized 
 pusseedin' I evuh did heah of sence de wah, 
 suh.'' 
 
 But mahs' he des' grin an' say : " Tony," he 
 say, ** I done b'lieve dis hyuh Absalom know so 
 much dat 'simmon beeuh des' gwan to set good 
 on he system," an' he skittuh in de house, git a 
 bottle o" 'simmon beeuh, squeeze de nozzle on it, 
 an' p'int it down in de pond, Absalom he cock 
 he eye up at de «ozzle, an' bahmby he wiggle 
 heseff up to it wiv no mo' life in him, suh, dan a 
 Peedee nigguh in Augus'. But I des' weesh yo' 
 
14 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 kin see dat feesh w'en he poke he nose 'gin dat 
 nozzle an' git one sniff ! Jicketty ! He eyes dey 
 pop open, an' he fins dey rise lack dey done 
 been eahs on a skittish hoss, suh ! Den he close 
 he snoot on dat nozzle an' give a suck. Mighty 
 Gabr'el ! yo' des' ottuh see dat feesh den, suh ! 
 He leggo de nozzle and back off a little mite, an' 
 chaw on dat 'simmon beeuh, an' roll he eyes des 
 lack he done got de powuh dat blessed minute 
 an' gwan to shout " Hallelooyuh ! " Den he 
 swash up 'gin dat nozzle ag'in, shet he snoot on 
 it, an' suck an' suck, an' close he eyes, an' ope 
 he eyes, an' roll he eyes, an' try to pat heseff on 
 de belly wiv he tail till duh ain' a drap o' sim- 
 mon beeuh lef in de bottle, suh, an' Mahs' Mc- 
 Keevuh des' swoop back on de groun' an' roll 
 an' holluh an' kick he heels. An' he holluh : 
 
 *' Dah, Tony ! " he holluh. " Wat I done tol' 
 yo' ? Doan' dat feesh know enough fo' 'simmon 
 beeuh to set good on he system ?" 
 
 "'Peahs lack he do," I say. "An' I knows 
 des' as much as dat feesh, I reckon, Mahs' Mc- 
 Keevuh ! " I say; but mahs' he so desp'ut boun' 
 up in dat mud-rootin' ol' mullet dat he nevuh did 
 teck de hint, suh. An' w'at yo' t'ink dat feesh 
 done do ? He go back to de bottom, an' how he 
 
The Rise and Fall of Absalom. 15 
 
 do cut up didos ! He eyes day beige, an he grin' 
 lack he simple. He dive at de goldfeesh, an' 
 de silvuh feesh, an' de streaky feesh, an' he stan' 
 on he haid in de mud, an' wiggle he tail, an' teck 
 on shameful. He swash up to de top an' swish 
 'way outen de wahtuh, an tu'n ovun an' ovuh, 
 lack he bean a clown in de succuss, suh, an' ope 
 he mouf des' lack he boun'to holluh an' hoUuh ! 
 
 " Jicketty ! " >.Iahs' ]\IcKeevuh say, w'en he 
 kin quit chucklin' an' rollin' : " Absalom done 
 try to sing he woan' go home till mo'nin', sho's 
 yo' bo'n ! " 
 
 " j\Iahs' ISIcKeevuh," I say, " dat feesh bean 
 shameful drunk, suh ! " 
 
 " Sho'ly ! " mahs' he say. " Di'n' I tol' yo' he 
 done know a heap ? " 
 
 Den I go way, suh, mighty sad an' pow'ful 
 disapp'inted. Nex' mo'nin' I go ovuh to de 
 pond, an' Mahs' McKeevuh he kim down dah. 
 Absalom he lie humped up 'long a rock, lookin' 
 mighty dunipy, an' lack he feel monst'us bad. 
 He haid it 'peah desp'ut heavy, an' he eyes dey 
 mos' shet. 
 
 " Ho, ho ! " mahs' he say. " 'Peahs lack Ab- 
 salom aln' feelin' peeuht dis mo'nin'. I spec' he 
 done need a eye-openuh, Tony." 
 
 
i6 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 An' w'at yo' t'ink Mahs' McKeevuh done do, 
 suh ? He mix a pow'ful hoot o' peach an' honey 
 — a pow'ful hoot, suh ! Um-m-m-m — um ! how 
 it do meek my mouf wahtuh des to ketch de scent 
 o' dat hoot ! He mix it, an' he put it in de bot- 
 tle, an' he fit de nozzle on, an' he push it down 
 in de pond fo' dat disgraceful feesh to tampuh 
 wiv, suh ! Absalom he stagguh up an' guzzle it 
 lack an ol' topuh, an' he wiggle back an' prance 
 around an' show heseff an' swagguh 'mongst d' 
 udduh feesh des' lack he nevuh did feel bad in 
 he life ! An' how dat do tickle Mahs' JMcKee- 
 vuh ! 
 
 "Yah, yah ! " mahsuh chuckle. " Des' lack a 
 So'th'n gemmun, suh ! " he say. 
 
 " I cain't Stan' setch a was'e o' soothin' lickuh, 
 suh, 'kase it shameful, an' I skittuh 'way fum 
 dah. But Mahs' jNIcKeevuh des' spen' mos' he 
 time c'rousin' wiv dat monst'us bad feesh. He 
 fotch out he scup'nong wine, an' Absalom guzzle 
 dat lack he been fotch up to it from de cradle, 
 suh. Mahsuh fotch out de peach an' honey, an' 
 de feesh des' natch'ly at home wiv dat too. Yo' 
 cain't go ovuh to dat pond but dah bean dat 
 mullet stagguh'n roun' an' actin' shameful ; 'kase 
 he full o' lickuh de hull time, suh, an' Mahs' 
 
The Rise and Fall of Absalom, i? 
 
 McKeevuh lyin' back an' declah'n to goodness 
 dat feesh know des' as much as any So'th'n gem- 
 mun dah is from Cape Fair to ol' V'ginny. One 
 day Absalom he done load up on 'simmon beeuh 
 an' peach an' honey an' scup'nong wine, an' den 
 mahs' he fotch out he w'ite co"n lickuh, w'at 
 been made back yon in de hills, suh, an' done 
 run de blockade, too, suh, shu's yo' bo'n ! Dat 
 feesh nevuh do have none o' dat w'ite co'n yit, 
 an' w'en he suck a snootful froo de nozzle he 
 leggo mighty quick an' look pow'ful s'prise. De 
 wattuh it staht fum he eyes, an' he gape like he 
 ritchin' fo' wind. But he done git he breff 
 bahmby, an' he snatch dat nozzle ag'in an' 
 swamp mo'n five finguhs o' dat w'ite co'n fo' he 
 drap it. 
 
 "Jicketty!" Mahs' McKeevuh say. "Dat 
 dah feesh done got a soulbigguh'n a beef's haht, 
 suh ! " 
 
 But dat w'ite co'n it done teck to wuckin' on 
 Absalom bahmby, an' sho ! doan' he be mussy ! 
 He git full o' fight, suh. He swush 'mongst dem 
 gold feesh, an' dem silvuh feesh, an' dem streaky 
 feesh, an' he shove 'em, an' he punch 'em, an' he 
 swat 'em. Um-m-m-m-um ! how he do swat dem 
 po' fish ! He act desp'ut, suh, an' I declah I 
 Z 
 
1 8 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 spec' ev' minute dat he done pull a razuh ! De 
 gold feesh, an' de silvuh feesh, an' de streaky 
 feesh, dey done squifile away an' hide bes' dey 
 kin, an' den Absalom he tu'n to an' pick a fuss 
 wiv one o' dem crawfeesh. Dat crawfeesh he 
 ain' dah to be joggle by no crazy blind drunk 
 mud-snoot mullet, an' he des' ritch out wiv one 
 claw an' clutch Absalom on one side he jaw, an' 
 ritch out wiv he udduh claw an' clutch Absalom 
 on d' udduh side he jaw, an' he hoi' on an' pinch 
 an' nip an' squeeze de pow'fulles' kyine, an' done 
 lick dat big mussy feesh so quick he dunno 
 waffo' he livin', an' he mighty glad to stagguh off 
 an' hide 'hind a rock an' nuss he so' haid. 
 
 " 'Peahs lack w'ite co'n been a leetle too on- 
 soothin' fo' dat feesh," Mahs' T^IcKeevuh say. 
 " He strung a heap too fine fo' w'ite co'n," he 
 say. 
 
 Absalom he nevuh skittuh out fum dat rock 
 till evenin', suh, an' den mahs' go down dah an' 
 push down a bottle o' 'simmon beeuh. De feesh 
 swiggle a moufful, but sput it out. Mahs' he 
 t'ink mebbe Absalom's system bean shuck up too 
 much fo' 'simmon beeuh, an' he push down some 
 peach an' honey. Dat feesh sco'n it, suh ! Dat 
 feesh sco'n peach an' honey ! Den mahs' he 
 
The Rise and Fall of Absalom. 19 
 
 t'ink Absalom pinin' fo' wine, an' he fotch out de 
 scup'nong. Yo' t'ink dat shameful feesh done 
 look at scup'nong ? No, suh ! He tu'n up he 
 snoot at it ! An' dah bean me, suh, pinin' an' 
 quiv'n an shiv'n an' hank'n fo' des' one lap ! 
 
 " I declah ! " Mahs' McKeevuh say. " 'Peahs 
 lack dish yuh feesh done tu'n ovuh a new leaf ! " 
 
 But mahs' he fotch out de w'ite co'n lickuh 
 an' try Absalom vviv dat. Wat yo' tink, suh ? 
 Dat shameful feesh grab dat nozzle, an' he suck 
 an' guzzle an' woan' leggo till mahs' tap him 
 two free times on he haid wiv he cane ! Mighty 
 Gabr'el ! how low dat feesh done sink ! And 
 attuh dat nuffin' have powuh enough fo' Absa- 
 lom but w'ite co'n, an' he des' settle squah down 
 an' hang roun' all de time waitin' fo' mahsuh to 
 ask him to have suffin'. He dah so reg'luh, dat 
 one day mahsuh say : 
 
 "Tony," he say, " I declah ef it doan' 'peah 
 lack dis hyuh feesh done 'quiah a tas'e for 
 lickuh ! " 
 
 Den mahs' t'ink he breck Absalom fum it, 
 an' he tempuh he swigs o' w'ite co'n wiv a right 
 smaht o' wahtuh, an' den he stop de lickuh on 
 him squah off. But nex' day he go to de pond, 
 an' he see Absalom Vv'iv he eyes poppin' mos' 
 
20 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 outen he haid wiv skeeuh, pullin' heseff back in 
 a hole in de bank, des' lack he done tryin' to 
 hide fum suffin' w'at chasin' him. Den he 
 swush out an' skittuh lack oV Satan done bean 
 attuh him, an' hide 'hind a rock, an' peek out to 
 see ef it bean attuh him yit, an' he eyes mos' 
 drappin' on he cheeks, he so skeeuht ! 
 
 " Jicketty ! " INIahs' McKeevuh say. " Absa- 
 lom done see lizzuhds an' snakes an' red devils ! 
 He got de tremuhs. I done shet he lickuh off 
 too sudden, suh," mahs' he say. 
 
 Den mahs' he skittuh an' git he w'ite co'n. 
 Absalom scoot up an' grab it. Um-m-m-m-um ! 
 How lickin' good 'peahs lack dat do tas'e to him ! 
 He done slip free monst'us big hoots o' w'ite 
 co'n inside heseff, an' den he swagguh off 
 peeuht as evuh, suh ! But he on de downwud 
 paff ! He mus' have mo' an' mo' w'ite co'n ev' 
 day, an' he git swuU up an' scrumpy. He eyes 
 dey t'un raid, an' he doan' keeuh how drunk he 
 git. Mahs' doan' dah shet he lickuh off, kase 
 he get de snakes ag'in, an' mahs' caint bah to 
 see dat. He swuU an' bloat, an' git so shame- 
 ful dat de gold feesh an' de silvuh feesh an' de 
 streaky fish dey shun him lack he bean p'ison, 
 an' de crawfeesh pitch on him an' frow him out 
 
The Rise and Fall of Absalom. 21 
 
 ev' time he go roiin' whah decent feesh done 
 stay. Oh, he des' a common bummuh, suh, an' 
 bahmby he 'gin to feel he disgrace. One day 
 he hang roun' an' lay fo' w'ite co'n till 'peahs 
 lack ef he swamp any mo' he boun' to bus', 
 shu's he bo'n. Den he sneak to a rock way to 
 d' udduh end de pond, an' he stop lack he pon- 
 duh. Den 'peahs lack he done meek up he 
 mind, 'kase he stagguh back two, free feet, 
 an' wush heseff haid fus' 'gin dat rock, lack a 
 ram sheep buttin' he very bes'. Absalom he 
 bounce back lack a ball, shivuh a spell, an' tu'n 
 he belly to de sun, daid as a pisened pup^ suh ! 
 
 " Dah, Tony ! " Mahs' AIcKeevuh say. " See 
 w'at de cuss o' lickuh done do ! Fight shy of it, 
 Tony!" mahs' he say, an' done mix heseff de 
 stiffes' hoot o' peach an' honey I evuh see him 
 tampuh wiv, suh ! 
 
 But dat bean a pow'ful temp'ance lectchuh, 
 
 sho'ly, suh, an' I done fight mighty shy o' 
 
 t'ank yo', suh ! T'ank yo', suh ! Ah-h-h ! Ef 
 Mahs' McKeevuh only des' done keep it lack 
 dat, suh, Absalom he bean livin' yit, sho's yo' 
 bo'n, an' I nevuh done spen' all dese hyuh yeahs 
 fightin' shy, suh ! 
 
THE MAN FROM CALOOSA- 
 HATCHEE. 
 
THE MAN FROM CALOOSA- 
 HATCHEE. 
 
 How His Pitiful Tale Deceived the Black Ho- 
 mer, and Destroyed Forever His Confidence 
 in One-Legged Darkies. 
 
 I doan' nevuh lack to see a one-laig dahky, 
 suh, 'kase 'peahs to me lack dey des' natch'Iy 
 cain't have no conscience. Deed yo' eviih lose 
 free doUuh, suh ? I done lose free dolluh one 
 time, an' waffo' yo' tink I doan' fine it } 'Kase 
 I bean des' big enough fool nigguh not to know 
 \vhah to luke fo, dat free dolluh till it bean too 
 late. Dat's waffo' I doan' fine it, suh. 
 
 One time, long sence de wah , when I live 
 down yon 'long de Cape Fair Rivuh, a cullud 
 man kim pluggin' 'long dah wiv only one laig. 
 'Peahs lack he luke desp'rit sonk down in he 
 haht an' pow'ful hongry. 
 
 " Reckon yo' doan' keeuh 'bout givin' a gem- 
 mum suffin' to eat, does you? " he say. 
 
 25 
 
26 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 " Why, sho'ly ! " I say. " Com in de house." 
 
 De man he kim in de house, an' de vvooman 
 she done sot him out suffin' to eat, an' he done 
 sot to an' swamp it, suh, lack he hain' sock he 
 teef in nuffin' lack dat dah dis long time. 
 
 " Whah yo' done cum fum ? " I say. 
 
 " 'Loosyhatchy," he sa3\ 
 
 " Huh, huh," I say, but I doan' know whah 
 'Loosyhatchy been no mo' dan ef it doan' bean 
 nowhah. Den bahmby I say, " 'Loosyhatchy, 
 huh ? Dat bean fah ? " 
 
 " Fah ! " de man he say. " Co'se dat bean 
 fah ! Dat bean way down in Flah'dy. Co'se 
 yo' done heah 'bout de Daddy Dick fambly of 
 'Loosyhatchy ? " he say. 
 
 " Nevuh deed heah 'bout 'em at all ! " I say. 
 
 " Sho ! " he say. " Dat bean monst'us queeuh ! 
 Nevuh deed heah 'bout de Daddy Dick fambly, 
 w'hat de 'gahtus done bean so pow'ful fond of ? 
 Dat monst'us queeuh ! I bean mos' de las' 
 membuh dat dah famblv. I done lose dis hyuh 
 laig 'case I bean one de Daddy Dick fambly. 
 Dah nevuh wuz no fambly 'long de 'Loosyhatchy 
 wa't de 'gahtus bean so fond of as dey bean of 
 dat fambly of ou'n. Why, de 'gahtus done bean 
 so pow'ful fond o' dat fambly dey teck my ol' 
 
The Man from Caloosa-Hatchee. 27 
 
 fadduh all to deyseffs, an' dey teck my pic'ninny 
 sistuh all to deyseffs, an' dey done try to teck 
 me, but all I kin spah to 'em des' bean dat dah 
 laig. Den dey hankuh fo' mybrudduh Lem, an' 
 dey teck so much of him dat he des' natch 'ly 
 pine away an' doan' nevuh geet ovuh it. Yo' 
 nevuh see how fond dem 'gahtus done bean o' 
 dat fambly, suh ! ^Nlonst'us queeuh yo' nevuh 
 deed heah 'bout ii ! " 
 
 I tell de man I pow'ful sorry, but I cain't hep 
 it. I nevuh did heah 'bout dat Daddy Dick 
 fambly. De man he look lack he feel hu't, but 
 it doan' teck he appetite, an' bahmby he done 
 eet all dey wuz an' den quit. 
 
 "Yes, suh," he say, woppin' de col' possum off 
 he chops wiv de back o' he han'. "It bean a 
 pitiful t'ing how dat fambly done wase away befo' 
 dem "Loosyhatchy 'gahtus ?" 
 
 Den de man he tell us 'bout it. 'Peahs lack 
 dat fambly bean happy in dey cabin as pottidge 
 in a cow-pea patch, so dis hyuh man he say, an' 
 one day oT Daddy Dick he teck he pole an' go' 
 out to de 'Loosyhatchy to cotch a mess o' feesh, 
 des' nio-h bv de cabin. He doan' come home to 
 he suppuh, an' dey go out to look whah he bean. 
 Dey nevuh did fine whah he bean, but dey done 
 
28 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 fine he hat an' he feesh pole on de bank. Dat 
 bean all. 
 
 " Ef I bean in de cote house on my dyin' oaf 
 dat dah minute," dis hyuh man he say, "an' de 
 Jedge done ask me whah I t'ink my fadduh is, I 
 des natch'ly say he bean snoozin' on de aidge o' 
 de 'Loosyhatchy, an' he done bean gollup by a 
 'gatuh ! Dat's wat I ansuh,*' dis hyuh man he 
 say, " 'kase dat bean de troof, sho's yo' bo'n ! " 
 
 " It ain' bean long attuh my ol' fadduh he go 
 *way wid de 'gatuhs/' de man he say, '"when I 
 geet home one day an' dah mammy she done sot 
 des' natch'ly belluh'n huh eyes mos' out'n huh 
 haid. 
 
 '* * Waffo' vo' done belluh'n, mammy ? ' I 
 say. 
 
 '^ ' Yo' little sistuh Rosybell she done gone 
 de way o' yo' po' ol' fadduh ! ' she say. ' Dat's 
 waffo' I belluh'n ! ' she say. 
 
 '' ^'Gatuhs?' I say. 
 
 ^' ' Huh, huh ! ' mammy she say. * 'Gatuhs 
 done teck huh home ! ' " 
 
 'Peahs Ivlammy Dick she done bean down to 
 de rivuh doi^n' huh washin', de way dis hyuh 
 man tell it, an' he little sistuh she bean 'long. 
 Bahmby Mammy Dick 'membuh she fo'git suf- 
 
The Man from Caloosa-Hatchee. 29 
 
 fin' she want, an' she go back to de cabin attuh 
 it. When she geet back to de rivuh duh ain't 
 no little sistuh dah, but de sand 'long de aidge 
 o' de rivuh it bean to' up right smaht, an' mam- 
 my she know a 'gatuh done come out, an' he 
 bean so fond o' Rosybell he des' cain't leave huh 
 dah, an' done teck huh 'way wiv him. 
 
 '^ Den I des' natch'ly git a gun;" dis hyuh 
 one-laig man he say, '*' an ' tote it wiv me when I 
 go feeshin', but one day w'at yo' 'spec' I done 
 do ? Jicketty ! I bean settin' 'long de 'Loosy- 
 hatchy feeshin,' an' I fo'git how dem 'gatuhs 
 bean so desp'rit fond o' de fambly, an' I drap 
 asleep, des' lack po' ol' daddy done do ! Bahm- 
 by suffin' week me up, an' I ope my eyes to see 
 w'at dat mus' be, an' sho ! w'at yo' tink ? It 
 bean a ol' 'gatuh, an' he have dat dah laig stuff 
 in he froat clean to de knee, an' he chawin' 
 away to geet de res' o' me ! I see he done gwan 
 to do it, sho's I bo'n, ef I doan' hump myseff, 
 an' so I ritch out an' grab a tree. I tug, an' de 
 'gatuh he tug, an' when he see he cain't git de 
 res' o' me wivout he wuck mighty hahd, he des' 
 chop dat laig squah off an' go back wiv it to he 
 home in de rivuh. Den I des' know'd dat dem 
 'Loosyhatchy 'gatuhs dey done have de hoodoo 
 
30 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 powuh^ an' kin spell folks to sleep, an' I nevuh 
 go 'long de rivuh no mo' wivout free haihs out'n 
 a wite boss's tail an' a rusty hosseshoe nail in 
 my pocket, so de 'gatuhs dey cain't hoodoo me 
 no mo', an' dey doan'. But my brudduh Lem he 
 done dah de 'gatuhs to gollup him, 'kase he 
 doan' feesh only fum he ol' canoe. I reckon he 
 been monst'us sorry fo' dat now! One day he 
 feeshin' fum he canoe, an' two big 'gatuhs dey 
 jump on it and upsot it in de watuh. Lem he 
 bean a pow'ful fine swimmuh, an' he pull fo' de 
 sho'. I bean dah feeshin', an' I tink Lem he 
 ritch de sho' 'fo' de 'gatuhs done git him, but 
 dey kim reshin' attuh him wiv dey jaws flung 
 wide open, an des' Lem he gwan to pull heseff 
 out on de bank, dey give a monst'us jomp an' 
 shet dey jaws tight on bofe he laigs an' teck 'em. 
 Dat's all dey kin geet o' Lem, but he so disap- 
 p'inted 'kase he misjege heseff an' de 'gatuhs 
 dat he pine an' pine heseff to deff ! 
 
 '^ Ain' dat dah de pitifulles' ting w'at yo' 
 evuh did heah ? Den ol' mammy she des' natch- 
 'ly done give up, an' de 'gatuhs dey done have 
 huh, too, long fo' dis hyuh time, ef she doan' 
 move 'way fum de 'Loosyhatchy, an' she do. 
 She say she know Daddy Dick an' de res' o' de 
 
The Man from Caloosa-Hatchee. 31 
 
 fambly dey done gone to Heaven, an' she be 
 monst'us glad to jine 'em, but she say she doan' 
 hankuh attuh gwan by de 'Loosyhatchy 'gatuh 
 line. So she done go to huhbrudduh's, 'way off 
 fum dah, an' so I bean 'mos' de las^ membuh 
 dat Daddy Dick fambly, an' I wand' up an' down 
 de wide wul', wivout no home, an' only one 
 laig." 
 
 I done feel monst'us sorry fo' de po' man, an' 
 I tell him to stay dah wiv us two, free days, an' 
 res' heseff, an' cheeuh heseff up. He done stay. 
 We feed dat cullud pusson on de fat o' de Ian', 
 an' he cheeuh up pow'fulles' kyine two, free 
 days. Den he reckon he got to wanduh in de 
 wide wul' ag'in, an' 'way he peg down de road, 
 an' we nevuh did see him no mo'. Attuh he 
 bean gone, 'long kim Sandy IMcKeevuh, an' he 
 have a nice fat shoat he want to sale fo' free 
 dolluh. I tink I buy dat shoat, an' go in de 
 house to git free dolluh w'at bean in my ol' 
 jacket hangin' on de kitchen do'. De free dol- 
 luh it doan' be dah, an' I cain't fine it nowhah. 
 I cain't tink whah I kin lose dat free dolluh, but 
 it done been los'. I cain't buy de shoat, an' 
 Sandy he feel mighty bad an' go back home. 
 Nex' day strange w'ite man kim ridin' by dah. 
 
32 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 " Anybody done seen a one-laig nigguh 'roun' 
 dese hyuh plahntations ? " he say. 
 
 I tell him duh wus a cullud gemman bean stop- 
 pin' dah two^ free days, an' he only have one laig. 
 
 ^' Whah he come fum ? " de w'ite man say. 
 
 '"Loosyhatchy, Flah'dy," I say, an' den I 
 done tell de w'ite man 'bout de po' cullud gem- 
 mun, an' how he bean mos' de las' membuh he 
 fambly, wand'n up an' down de wide wul' wiv 
 only one laig, 'kase de 'Loosyhatchy 'gatuhs bean 
 so fond o' he fambly. De w'ite man he only 
 des' grin', an' den he say: 
 
 " Las' spring, up yon in de Drowndin' Creek 
 kentry," he say, " Squiah Gammon he miss he 
 sheep so much he done t'ink a bah bean attuh 
 'em, an' he sot a trap to cotch dat bah. Nex^ 
 mo'nin' de Squiah he go out to see ef de trap 
 done geet dat bah, an' w'at yo' tink? De trap 
 it have de bah w'at done bean stealin' dem 
 sheep. De bah bean Pete Bunk, de mos' wuf- 
 flesses' nigguh in No'th C'lina ! De trap chaw 
 de laig so bad dey have to cut it off. Dat's de 
 nighest he ev' bean to 'Loosyhatchy, an' dat's 
 de way 'gatuhs chop he laig off ! Ise attuh him 
 wiv a wah'nt des' now, 'kase he's done bean 
 stealin' Squiuh Gammon's gol' watch ! " 
 
The Man from Caloosa-Hatchee. 33 
 
 De w'ite man he rid on down de road, an' ef 
 he cotch dat cullud pusson I nevuh did heah 
 'bout it. But I know den dat I bean des' big 
 enough fool nigguh not to know whah to luke 
 fo' dat free dolluh I lose till it bean too late. 
 
 No, suh ! I doan' nevuh lack to see one 
 laig dahky, 'kase 'peahs to me lack dey cain't 
 have no conscience, suh ! 'Peahs to me so ; an' 
 dat's a fact ! 
 3 
 
A PLAGUE OF EGYPT. 
 
A PLAGUE OF EGYPT. 
 
 How Mahs' McKeever Took to Eating it, and, 
 True to the Black Homer's Old Mammy's 
 Prophecy, Something Desperate Covered the 
 Land, and Tribulation Came to Mah's Jim. 
 
 I RECKON yo' done heah oodles o' feesh stories 
 wa't bean monst'us queeuh," but I bet yo' anyting, 
 suh, yo' nevuli did heah one so queeuh as one 
 vv'at done happen down yon 'long de Cape Fair 
 Rivuh, 'fo' de wah, dune the wah, an' sence de 
 wah. I doan' tink I done fo'got dat feesh story. 
 Bean a long time ago, dough. Lemme see. How 
 dat feesh story go ? Um-m-m — sho ! How dat 
 go.'' Oh, jicketty! Now I 'membuh ! Dat feesh 
 story it done staht in wid a frog — a monst'us big 
 frog. No, suh, it doan', needuh ! It staht way 
 up norf in Can'dy, whahev' dat bean, wiv a run- 
 away nigguh — dis hyuh way : 
 
 One time one o' ol' mahsuh's nigguhshe t'un 
 up missin' an' mahs' he cain' fine hide no wool 
 
 S7 
 
38 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 o' dat nigguh. He done gone des' lack he seenk 
 froo de groun'. He pow'ful high price nigguh, 
 dat un bean, an' ol' mahs' he desp'rit put out 
 'kase he cain't geet on he track. Time it go and 
 go, an' bahmby mahs' he geet a lettuh one day. 
 Dat lettuh it kim all de way from Can'dy, an' it 
 bean from Zim, de missin' nigguh. Not zac'ly it 
 doan' been fum him, needuh, 'kase co'se Zim he 
 cain't write, but it bean writ by some un in 
 Can'dy fo' Zim, an' it say dat Zim he des' natch'ly 
 'bout frizz to deff up dah, an' he pinin' to get 
 back on de o' Cape Fair, but he doan' know de 
 way. He plid wid mahsuh to come up dah an' 
 geet him, or sen' some un attuh him, an' he des* 
 jog 'long back wiv him, an' be pow'ful good all 
 de res' he days. Ol' mahs', he mighty glad to 
 heah dis hyuh, an' he go to Can'dy he ownseff 
 to fotch Zim back. While he bean up dah, mahs' 
 he done live fine, 'kase he fall in wiv dat kyine 
 o' man, an' 'bove all tings else he done do, he 
 lahn to eat frogs ! Yes, suh ! Jicketty ! Des' tink 
 o' dat dah, suh ! An' he meek Zim lahn to cook 
 'em 'fo' dey staht home, an' when dey git back 
 to de ol' plahntation an' mahs' he oduh me out 
 'long de rivuh to cotch frogs, an' we fine out he 
 gwan to eat 'em, it skeeuh ev'body on the plahn- 
 
A Plague of Egypt. 39 
 
 tation most in fits. My oV mammy she mos' 
 drap daid when she heah 'boat it, an' she frow 
 up huh eyes an' huh han's, an' she holluh : 
 
 " Frogs ! " she dun holluh. " Dey bean one o' 
 de plaigs of Idjipt, an' ol' mahs' he dun tu'n to 
 an' eat 'em ! Gabr'el, is yo gwan to blow dis 
 hyuh minute, or is duh suffin' desp'rit gwan to 
 kivvuh de Ian' ? " 
 
 Mammy she wait an' listen, an' Gabr'el he doan' 
 toot. Den she holluh : 
 
 "'Tain't Gabr'el!" she holluh. " De great 
 day it ain't come yit ; but it des* natch'ly mowt 
 bettuh be, 'kase w'en folks dey teck and tu'n to 
 an' eat de plaigs of Idjipt, den suffin' desp'rit 
 boun' to kivvuh de Ian', sho's yo' bo'n ! " 
 
 An' w'at yo' tink, suh ? De wah it kim 'long 
 de nex' yeah ! An' my ol' mammy she holluh : 
 
 " Dah ! W'at I done tol' yo' > De Ian' w'at 
 eats de plaigs of Idjipt been boun' to have suf- 
 fin' desp'rit kivvuh'n it ! 01' mahs' he done gwan 
 to have a heap to ans' fo' on de great day ! " 
 
 An' heap o' udduh folks dey t'ink so, too, but 
 mahs' he des' kip right on eatin' he frogs an' 'joy 
 'em pow'ful. Um-m-m — um ! how mahsuh did 
 'joy dem frogs ! One day I bean gwan to de 
 rivuh to cotch him a mess- duh been a monst'us 
 
40 The Black Homer of Jimtown 
 
 lot o' frogs 'long dah in dem days — w'en 1 see de 
 mos' jubilatiness' big frog w'at I evuh heah tell 
 about, seatin' on a gum stump, close by de wat- 
 tuh, sassy as a bulldog. 'Peahs lack dat frog 
 been bigguh dan a pup', an' he eyes dey lie out 
 on he cheeks lack a nigguh's skeeuhtby aghos'. 
 
 " Jicketty ! " I say. " Weesh mammy wuz 
 hyuh ! I feel des' lack dat frog done gwan to 
 gobble me, he so monst'us ! " 
 
 Den I tu'n heel an' scrummidge away from 
 dah, but I ain' scrummidge but a leetle ways 
 w'en I mos' dab squah ag'in mahsuh comin' down 
 de road. 
 
 " Whah yo gwan ? " he holluh. " Waffo' yo' 
 done scrummidge back dis hyuh way ! " 
 
 I mighty skeeuht, but I tell mahsuh 'bout de 
 monst'us big frog w'at sot me scrummidgin'. 
 
 " He mos' big as a piccaninny ! " I say. 
 
 " Sho' ! " he say. " Whah he is ! " 
 
 " He seatin' on the big gum stump, down yon," 
 I say. 
 
 "Come wiv me," he say. "We done cotch 
 him fo' my dinnuh." 
 
 I trimble an' shivvuh lack a coon dog w'en de 
 fros' tetch de 'simmons, but I mus' g'long wiv 
 mahsuh, an' I done go. Fus' I hope de monst'- 
 
A Plague of Egypt. 41 
 
 us frog woan' be dah, he so spooky to look at ; 
 an' den I hope he will be dah, 'kase ef he ain' 
 den mahs' he des' lack's not swat me an' say I 
 done bean lyin' to get shet o' cotchin' frogs dat 
 day. But he dah ! Jicketty ! An' he look big- 
 guh'n evuh ! 
 
 " My Ceasuh ! " mahs' he say. " Dat a pow'- 
 ful frog ! " 
 
 Mahs' he bean gwan to de deep hole in de 
 rivuh to dough ball de wattuh to fotch de jack- 
 feesh bait in so de jacks came 'long attuh 'em, 
 an' meek de feeshin' good, an' he teck a dough 
 ball out'n he pocket an' toss it to de frog. De 
 frog he gobble it, an' mahs' he toss nudduh one. 
 De frog he gobble dat un, an' 'peahs lack he so 
 fon' o' dem dough balls he done jomp fum de 
 stump an' hop close to ol' mahs' on de sho', so 
 he kin git de dough balls quickuh. An' dah he 
 squat an' gobble dough balls till mahs' he done 
 feed him all he got — mo' dan a quaht, suh — an' 
 den de frog he leeck he chops, cock he big eye 
 till he reckon mahsuh ain' done got no mo', an' 
 den heave he shoulduhs, an' way he go, k'chug ! 
 in de rivuh, an' we doan' see him ag'in dat day. 
 
 " I done gwan to fat dat frog," mahs' he 
 say, " an' bahmby I meek my dinnuh on he sad- 
 
42 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 dies ! I show him waffo' he gobble my dough 
 balls!" 
 
 An' mahs' he go down dah mos' ev' day, an' 
 de frog it bean dah to gobble de dough balls, an' 
 bahmby it teck to foll'n mahsuh home, kase it 
 so pow'ful fon' dem balls an' want mo'. 
 
 One day 'bout dat time Pudge Conklin he 
 kim home fum de wah. He show ol' mahsuh a 
 mighty fine gol' watch an' long chain, wiv lot o' 
 nice tings danglin' to its tuduh end. He want 
 to sell mahsuh dat watch an' chain, but Pudge 
 he nevuh had a pow'ful good name round dah, 
 an' mahs' he 'quiuh whah he geet dat watch an' 
 chain. 
 
 " I ween it," Pudge he declah, " playin' kyahds 
 in Newbu'n." 
 
 He tell de ting so straight dat mahs' he done 
 buy de watch an' chain, an' meek young mahsuh 
 Jim, he son w'at ten yeah ol' des' dat day, a birf- 
 day present of 'em. Dey mighty fine, I tell yo', 
 an' young Mahsuh Jim he pow'ful proud of 'em. 
 Dull done bean some lettuhs inside de watch, 
 but nobody dey din' know w'at dem lettuhs mean, 
 an' dey doan' keeuh. 
 
 Nex' day mahs' he done go down whah de big 
 frog kip heseff, an' de frog it skittuh home attuh 
 
The Plague of Egypt. 43 
 
 him to git mo' dough balls. We all bean use to 
 de monst'us chap by dis time, 'cep' my oV mam- 
 my, an' she kip' sayin' : 
 
 " I wahn yo', Mahs' McKeevuh ! I wahn 
 yo' ! Dat frog done bean de fadduh of all dem 
 plaigs of Idjipt yo' bean eatin' all dese hyuh 
 months, an' he hain't humpin' heseff roun' hyuh 
 fo' nuffin' ! " 
 
 Dis hyuh day de frog done come 'long home 
 wiv mahsuh, he doan' git no mo' dough balls. 
 He hang roun'^ but mahs' he doan' give him 
 none, an' de frog he git he back up desp'rites' 
 kyine. Mahs' he weenk at Zim an' say : 
 
 " He fat enough, now. 'Bot t'mah I knock 
 him in de haid an' feas' on he saddles. Um-m- 
 m-m — um ! But dey des' gwan to be pow'ful 
 fine!" 
 
 De big frog he bean squattin' on a stone by 
 de rivuh, an' young IMahsuh Jim he standin' by 
 him. De frog desp'rit mad. Mahsuh Jim he 
 teck holt de eend o' he watch chain an' dangle 
 de watch down 'fo' de frog's belgin' eyes, des' to 
 aggumvate him. De frog he give one snap o' he 
 monst'us jaws, gobble de watch lack it bean a 
 dough ball, rise on he laigs, an' gok'chug! in de 
 rivuh, snatchin' de chain out'n ^^lahsuh Jim's 
 
44 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 han' an' teckin' all dat fine birfday present wiv 
 him ! Jicketty ! But don' duh done bean aheap 
 o' music roun' dat plahntation ! Young Jim he 
 mos' belluh he haht away, an' ol" mahs' he swah 
 till de ol' tuckey gobbluh's red chops dey done 
 tu'n blue ! Mammy she sheck huh haid an' 
 say : 
 
 ** I done wahn yo ! I done wahn yo' ! Dat 
 fadduh of all de plaigs of Idjipt w'at yo' bean 
 eatin' ain't humpin' heseff roun' hyuh fo' nuffin' ! " 
 
 But bahmby ol' mahs' he cool down, an' he say 
 to Mahsuh Jim : 
 
 " Sho ! Dis hyuh bean all right, honey ! Dat 
 frog only des' lose hetempuh 'kase he doan' geet 
 no mo' dough balls. He doan' want dat watch 
 an' chain. He fotch 'em back t' mah down yon 
 by de big gum stump, an' we geet 'em. An' we 
 done geet dat frog, too, by jicketty ! " 
 
 But dat frog he doan' fotch dat watch an' 
 chain back t'mah, no' de nex' day, no' de nex'. 
 He nevuh fotch dat watch an' chain back at all, 
 suh. An' ol' mahsuh he do swah pow'ful ! 
 
 " I monst'us dis'p'inted in dat frog ! " he say. 
 " I done trit dat frog lack a king, so I do, an' I 
 tink he gwan to be mighty tankful, but he tu'n 
 out to be des' a common highway robbuh ! " 
 
A Plague of Egypt. 45 
 
 But bahmby, one da}-, ol' mahs' he mighty 
 sorry he tink dat a-way 'bout dat po' frog, fo' 
 dat day ]Mahsuh Jim he go feeshin' fo' jack feesh 
 down in de deep hole. He geet a pow'ful bite, 
 an' he tink he nevuh will geet dat feesh to sho', 
 it pull, an' swobble, an' heng back so. But attuh 
 while Jim he Ian' de feesh, an' he see suffin' 
 shiny in its mouf. Jim he look, an' he see dat 
 shiny ting done bean a gol' chain. He pull on 
 de chain, an' jicketty ! Wat yo' tink, suh .? At 
 the udduh eend o' dat chain he pull in a monst'- 
 us bis: fros ! One eend dat chain it bean in de 
 jack feesh's gullet, an' t'udduh eend dat chain it 
 bean in the frog's gullet. IMahsuh Jim he cutde 
 frog, an' he fine de watch. He cut de jack feesh 
 an' he fine de lot o' nice tings w'at done dangle 
 at d'udduh eend dat chain ! 
 
 "Whoop!" IMahsuh Jim he holluh, an' he 
 skittuh home lack de wind an' show he fadduh. 
 or mahs' he mighty tickle 'kase Jim fine de 
 w^atch an' chain, but he feel desp'rit bad 'kase 
 he jedge dat po' frog an' call him a highway 
 robbuh. 
 
 " Dat frog done bean hones', attuh all," he 
 Bay. "He bean fotchin' dat birfday present 
 back, sho'ly, w'en dat hongry jack feesh see 
 
46 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 dem bright tings danglin' an' des' gobble 'em — 
 an' de frog cain't geet away an' des' bean 
 drownded ! I pow'f ul sorry I call him a robbuh ! 
 An' I pow'ful sorry dem saddles o' his'n done 
 spile ! " 
 
 But mammy she hold out. 
 
 *' Yo' des ottuh he tankful in yo' haht to dat 
 jack feesh, Mahs' McKeevuh, fo' 'stroyin' dat 
 fadduh of all dem plaigs of Idjipt yo' done bean 
 eatin' ! " she say. " Dat monst'us frog he done 
 have he eye on yo', suh ! Yo' ottuh be tankful in 
 yo' haht fo' dat jack feesh." 
 
 Time it go an' go, an' Mahsuh Jim he grow to 
 be a fine young man, suh. Co'se, he doan' be 
 Mahsuh Jim no mo', kase de wah it sot us free, 
 but dat ain't no diffunce. He 'peah des' de 
 same, young Mahsuh Jim. An' den he fadduh 
 tink Jim he doan' have chance enough 'long de 
 Cape Fair, an' he sen' him to New York, whah 
 duh been mo' room. Jim he git 'long right 
 smaht up dah, an' fus' ting he know he done fall 
 in love wiv a rich man's daughtuh, an' she done 
 fall in love wiv him, an' huh fadduh he lack Jim, 
 an' say it bean all right, he kin have huh. Jim 
 he have dat watch an' chain yit, an' he tink de 
 wul' an' all of 'em. But he gal she teck a fancy 
 
A Plague of Egypt. 47 
 
 to 'em, an' Jim done give 'em to huh. She so 
 tickle she call huh fadduh an' holluh : 
 
 " See fadduh, w'at Jim he done gimme ! " 
 
 De fadduh he teck de watch an' chain, and 
 he eyes dey begin to beige w'en he see 'em. He 
 open de watch an' see de lettuhs on de inside. 
 Den he holluh to Jim : 
 
 " Whah yo' geet dis hyuh watch ? " 
 
 " IMy fadduh done gimme it fo' a birfday pre- 
 sent, dune de wah," Jim he say. 
 
 " Den yo' fadduh's a damn tief ! " de gal's fad- 
 duh he holluh. 
 
 Jim he cain't stan' dat, an' he jomp up, an' I 
 done 'spec ' he joggle dat gal's fadduh till he 
 nevuh holluh no mo', only fo' de gal frowin' huh 
 ahms roun' Jim's neck an' holdin' him an' huggin' 
 him, an' pliddin' wid him. Den he tell de gal's 
 fadduh how he fadduh got de watch an' chain, 
 an' how he los' it an' got it back ag'in. Den de 
 gal's fadduh he 'pol'gize pow'fuUes' kyine, and 
 say : 
 
 " I done git some bullets froo me dune a fight 
 in de wah, an' tumble on de fiel', whah I cain't 
 move a finguh, an' I tink I gwan to die, sho's I 
 bo'n. Den some un kim along an' choke me 
 desp'rit, an' yank off my watch an' chain, an' 
 
48 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 snick away. Dis hyuh de same watch an' chain, 
 suh, an' I bet yo' a doUuh it bean dat man Pudge 
 Conklin w'at done stole 'em." 
 
 An' Mahsuh Jim mah' de rich man's daughtuh, 
 and dey bean happiest kyine o' folks ev' sence. 
 
 Dah, suh ! I bet yo' nevuh did heah a feesh 
 story so pow'ful queeuh as dat in all yo' bo'n 
 days, an' I done 'spec' yo' heah'd oodles of 'em. 
 Mahsuh Jim he live in New Yo'k yit, an' ef yo' 
 evuh see him I bet yo' he tell yo' dis bean true 
 w'at I tol' yo', ev'y seengle wu'd. Yo' gwan to 
 see him w'en yo' go back ? Well, Mahsuh Jim 
 he doan' live in New Yo'k 'zac'ly. Not 'zac'ly. 
 He done move out a ways. Califo'ny. Dat's 
 whah he done move to. Califo'ny. Dah's whah 
 yo' fine him, suh. Califo'ny. 
 
PERSECUTED SANDY BUNN. 
 
PERSECUTED SANDY BUNN, 
 
 The Black Homer Tells of Sandy's Trials and 
 Tribulations at the Hands of Unbelieving 
 Crushers of the Truth in the Cape Fear Country. 
 
 I 'spec' yo' done see Sandy Bunn up Norf ev' 
 little while, suh ? No? Sho ! Dat's mighty 
 queeuh ! He up dah ! Why, he bean up dah 
 dese hyuh five, six yeah ! 'Peahs lack yo' mus' 
 see him, suh ! Tall man ? White whiskuhs all 
 roun' he face ? Lame in he lef laig vvhah he 
 mule kick him ? 'Membuh him now, doan' yo', 
 suh? — No? Sho ! Cain't be dat dat fool nig- 
 guh des' natch'ly hidin' heseif yit, 'kaze he 
 'feeuhd dey attuh him to pussecute him ? Dat's 
 des' w'at he doin', I bet a bah'l o' tahpentine ! 
 But dey ain't attuh him. I weesh yo' tell Sandy 
 so when yo' go back Norf, suh. Tell him I say 
 so. Tell him dey tink yit dat he bean de 
 monst'uses' liah evuh wuz long de Cape Fair 
 
 51 
 
52 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 Rivuh, but dey ain't attuh him no mo' to pusse- 
 cute him. I done spec' it gwan to hu't him 
 pow'ful to heah dey ain't got ovuh tinkin' he a 
 monst'us liah, but I reckon it gwan to lift a heap 
 offen Sandy's mind to heah dey ain't attuh him 
 to pussecute him. So I weesh yo' des' tell him, 
 suh. Tell him I say so. 
 
 Sandy Bunn, he done live a long time down 
 yon on de Cape Fair. He live all by heself in a 
 cabin w'at bean a right smaht one 'fo' de wah, 
 but git mighty ramified sence. 'Peahs lack dat 
 cabin des' natch'ly keflummux in a heap ef yo' 
 doan' walk by it on yo' teep toes, it so wobbly, 
 but it nevuh do ; an' it done stan' dah yit, suh, 
 lack it boun' to show folks dey doan' know half 
 so much dey done tink dey does. Sandy he live 
 dah long time, an' somehow de white folks down 
 dah dey pussecute him desp'rit. Um-m-m — 
 umm ! how dey do pussecute dat man ! Dey 
 doan' nevuh lay dey ban's on him, but dey pus- 
 secute him wiv dey tongues, an' dat's de wusses' 
 kyine o' pussecution. I 'membuh one time oV 
 Cap'n McKenzie he fine dat somebody snatchin' 
 he wattuh melons out'n he field, an' he sot a 
 watch dah. Dey seen a pusson snick in de field 
 an' yank a melon. Dey chase de pusson, an' de 
 
Persecuted Sandy Bunn. 53 
 
 pusson drap de melon an' run lack de ol' boy 
 bean on he heels. Dey cain't cotch de pusson, 
 but dey say dey 'cognize who it bean. An' w'at 
 dey done do ? Dey go out se'nadin', an' dey 
 se'nade Sandy, an' dey sing dis hyuh pussecutin' 
 
 song : 
 
 ** Some folks say nigguh woan' steal, 
 But we cotch one in a melon fiel'. 
 He drap de melon an' 'way he run 
 Lack nobody kin but Sandy Bunn." 
 
 Co'se, dat mos' breck po' Sandy's haht, but he 
 bean pow'ful pious, an' he des' coodle down in 
 one co'nuh he cabin, and sheck he haid, an' 
 grieve to t'ink how dey kin cunjuh up setch 
 weekedness. An' he fo'give 'em, an' doan' nevuh 
 say a wud back, suh. Dat's w'at he tol' me 
 many times. He pow'ful pious, Sandy wuz. 
 Pow'ful pious. 
 
 One time a man down yon on de Cape Fair he 
 cunjuh up de idee dat duh bean a heap o' money 
 in keepin' chickens, an' he tink he do it, Co'se, 
 he cain't do it wivout he pussecute Sandy Bunn 
 fust, an' he go to Sandy an' say : 
 
 " Sandy, I done tink I keep a right smaht o' 
 chickens." 
 
 Sandy he say " Yes ? " 
 
54 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 De man he say : ^' Yes. I want to keep a 
 heap o' chickens, an' folks done tell me de bes* 
 ting I kin do is to hiah yo'." 
 
 Sandy he know all 'bout keepin' chickens, an' 
 he mighty glad to be hiahd, an' he tell de man 
 so. 
 
 "Yes," de man he say. ''Folks done tell me 
 if I want to keep chickens I mus' hiah yo'. So 
 I gwan to hiah yo'. I want to keep chickens, so 
 I gwan to hiah yo' to move fum hyuh 'way down 
 to de Peedee kentry." 
 
 Dat bean a desp'rit blow to po' Sandy. He 
 mos' seenk froo de groun', dat pussecution bean 
 so hefty. But he doan' say a wud. He des' go 
 to he cabin an' rassel wiv he feelin's an' fo'give 
 he pussecutuh. Dat's w'at Sandy done tell me 
 many time. 
 
 But bahmby, suh, dey lay dey pussecution on 
 Sandy so deep he des' cain't stan' it no mo', an' 
 he pick up he feet an' shake de dust of de Cape 
 Fair kentry offen 'em clean. One day I bean 
 comin' 'long de road, des' up yon, an' udduh way 
 kim a man lack he walkin' 'gin time an' done bean 
 a right smaht bit behind it. Bahmby I know 
 him. He bean Sandy Bunn, lookin' lack he 
 pow'ful skeeuht. 
 
Persecuted Sandy Bunn. 55 
 
 **Why, Sandy," I say, " Waffo' yo' scootin 
 'long dis hyuh way so mons'us fast ?" 
 
 Sandy, he say, " Kase I'se fleein' fum pussecu- 
 tion, sub ! Dey done put de las' straw on de 
 camomile's back, an' it bean mo' dan he kin 
 tote ! Stan' outen de way, brudduh ! Doan' 
 hinduh me ! I'se fleein' fum pussecution, an' 
 I'se monst'us feeuhd dat de pussecution is on 
 hossback wiv a wah'nt fum de Squiuh ! Stan' 
 outen de way an' doan' hinduh me ! " 
 
 Jickitty ! how po' Sandy wuz joggled ! 
 
 " Sho ! " I say to him. *' If pussecution is 
 attuh yo' on hossback, it sho'ly run yo' down ef 
 yo' keep de road ! Des' yo' snick up in de 
 wudes wiv me, an' when de pussecution gits 
 along dis hyuh way, we kin wutch its boss tote it 
 by an' kin chuckle to see it ! " 
 
 Den Sandy he 'peah mighty glad kaze I 
 hinduh him, an' we snick up in de wudes an' 
 hide. We ain't hahdly plunk down 'hind an ol' 
 pine stump w'en 'long come dat pussecution, 
 sho' enough, ridin' Gunnel Ray's best hoss. Zip ! 
 it scoot by ! 
 
 "Who dat pussecution on Gunnel Ray's 
 hoss ? " I say. 
 
 " Dat bean Joe Feeny, de Gape Fair con- 
 
56 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 stable, an' I done spec' he got a wah'nt," Sandy 
 he say. 
 
 " Wah'nt fo' who ? " I say. 
 
 Sandy, he say : '' Fo' me, I reckon." 
 
 " Jicketty ! '' I say. " Pussecution ain^t nevuh 
 chase yo' befo' on hossback wiv a wah'nt. 
 Waffo' it rise up so desp'rit dis hyuh time.'*" 
 
 Sandy he say : " Kaze dey bean a disb'lievin' 
 gen'ration o' vipuhs down yon on de Cape Fair ! 
 'Kaze dey sco'n de troof an' want to cresh it ! 
 Dat's waffo' pussecution done rise up so desp'rit 
 dis hyuh time ! " 
 
 Yo' see, suh, des* de yeah 'fo' dat duh bean a 
 mighty flood in de Cape Fair Rivuh. It rise an' 
 it rise an' it rise till it bean mos' to de do' of 
 Sandy's cabin. Dis hyuh w^'at Sandy he tell me 
 in de wudes whah we hide dat day. Night it 
 kim 'long, an' de flood it keep risin', and Sandy 
 he done shet heseff in de cabin, waitin^ fo' de 
 wuss. He teck down he ol' fiddle an' he play 
 hymn tunes, 'kase he pow'ful pious, an' he doan' 
 feah. Bahmby bang ! bang ! suffin' clattuh at de 
 do'. Sandy he quit he fiddlin' an' holluh : 
 
 " Who dat bangin' at my do' ? I know yo', 
 suh ! Dat yo', Mahs' Devil, comin' hyuh tinkin' 
 yo' skeeuh me an' I quit fiddlin' de hymn tunes ! 
 
Persecuted Sandy Bunn. 57 
 
 Go 'way fum dah ! Yo' cain't skeeuh me, 
 suh ! " 
 
 Den Sandy he play mo' hymn tunes, an' bang ! 
 bang ! bang ! suffin' clattuh at de do' ag'in. 
 Sandy he quit he fiddlin'. 
 
 " Sho ! " he say. " Dat ain't de ol' devil ! He 
 nevuh wase he time bangin' at de do' if he want 
 in. He des' natch'ly scuffle down de chimbly. 
 Who dah ? " 
 
 De suffin' it doan' sav nuffin' — des' bang:, 
 bang de do'. Sandy he git up an' snatch de do' 
 open. Den he mos' drap daid, 'kase dah stan' a 
 monst'us big bah, up to he knees in watuh, an' 
 des' dreppin' wet all ovuh. Sandy he done gwan 
 to slam de do' in de bah's face, w'en he see setch 
 a look in de bah's eyes it mos' meek him shed 
 teahs. De bah it sho'ly say wiv its eyes dat 
 it want get in de cabin or it be drownded in de 
 flood. 
 
 "Yes," Sandy he say to de bah, ^'but doan' yo' 
 spec' I know bahs ? Ef I let yo' in, an' de flood 
 it shrenk an' doan' teck de cabin an' us wiv it, 
 den what? Yo' des' natch'ly tu'n an' snatch me 
 bald-headed, lack yo' fo'fadduhs done do to po' 
 ol' Uncle 'Lijuh ! I know bahs, so I guess I 
 shet yo' out in de flood ! " 
 
S8 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 But de bah it sheck its haid, an' criss cross its 
 breas' free times dat it won't snatch Sandy, an' 
 so he done let it in de cabin. It coodle down in 
 a co'nuh an' go to sleep an' Sandy 'fiddle mo' 
 hymn tunes. Free days an' nights dat monst'us 
 flood it dash an' splash an' holluh 'bout dat 
 cabin, 'fo' it shrenk away, an' den Sandy he ope 
 de do'. De bah it rise up, sheck itself, and go 
 'way, lookin' so pow'ful tankful, Sandy he say, 
 dat he mos' belluh he eyes out. 
 
 " I des' only weesh some o' dem pussecutin' 
 folks see dat bah w'en it go way ! " Sandy he 
 say. " It des' shame 'em to dey dyin' day ! " 
 
 Den dat yeah attuh de big flood de season it 
 kim desp'rit dry 'long de Cape Fair. De co'n it 
 all shrenk an' wiv'uh, an' folks dey doan' know 
 w'at dey gwan to do. Sandy's co'n patch, so he 
 tell me dat day, it all tu'n to dust, an' he pig it 
 des' wase an' wase away an' stahv to deff, 'kase 
 it doan' have nuffin' to eat. Sandy he set in 
 he cabin waitin' an' waitin' to follow he pig, an' 
 playin' hymn tunes on de ol' fiddle. He las' bit 
 o' co'n meal done gone, an' he feel he boun' to 
 be de same 'fo' many days. De night 'fo' he 
 scheck de dust of de Cape Fair kentry offen he 
 feet he sot in de cabin fiddlin' an' fiddlin'. 
 
Persecuted Sandy Bunn. 59 
 
 Bahmby bang ! bang ! bang ! suffin clattuh at 
 he do'. Sandy he keep right on fiddlin', an' 
 holluh : 
 
 " Go 'way fum dah ! I know yo' ! Yo' bean 
 po' ol' r^Iammy Jutkin comin' to baig me fo' a 
 little co'n. Go 'way, mammy ! Ef I put all de 
 meal I got in yo' eye yo' nevuh feel it." 
 
 Dis w'at Sandy he done tell me dat day in de 
 wudes. No mattuh who it bean at de cabin do,' 
 dey doan' go 'way. Bang ! bang ! bang ! dey 
 clattuh de do' ag'in. 
 
 " I des' sot an' finish de tune I bean fiddlin'," 
 Sandy he say, " an' den git up an' open de do. 
 An' who yo' done spec' bean standin' dah ? A 
 big bah ! De same ol' bah I save fum de flood 
 las' yeah ! Unduh one ahm he holdin' a nice fat 
 shoat, an' unduh d'udduh one he holdin' a bas: 
 o' meal ! 'Fo' I kin say a wud, he lie dat shoat 
 an' dat bag o' meal on de do' step an' 'way he 
 go 'fo' de wudes ! Den I know I done frow my 
 bread on de watuh w'en I save dat bah, an' 
 hyuh it wuz fotched back a hundud fol', suh ! " 
 
 Sandy he des nach'ly yanked dat shoat an' 
 dat meal in de cabin, so he tell me, an' feas'es ! 
 U-m-m-m-umm ! how dat man did feas'. An' 
 den he mos' wo' he ol' fiddle to pieces playin' 
 
6o The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 hymn tunes 'fo' he tomble in he bed. Nex' 
 mo'nin' Sandy he bean eatin' he breakfas' offen 
 some mo' o' dat bread he done frow on de watuhs 
 de yeah befo', w'en de cabin do' it fly open an' 
 in strut ol' Gunnel Ray. Dah lie he shoat on de 
 cabin flo', an' dah lie de bag o' meal. 
 
 *• Whah yo' done git dat shoat } " he holluh 
 to Sandy. " Whah yo' done git dat bag o' 
 co'n } " 
 
 " Why," Sandy he say, " dem bean bread I 
 frow on de watuhs a yeah ago ! " 
 
 Den Sandy he done tol' de Gunnel 'bout de 
 flood an' de bah, an' how de bah bean so tank- 
 ful he des' tote in dat shoat an' dat co'n. De 
 Gunnel he give a snote lack a mad bull, an' 
 swah an' swah till de cabin bean blue, an' den 
 he 'gin to pussecute Sandy. 
 
 " Dat my shoat, an' dat my co'n ! " he holluh. 
 *' Dey bean stole las' night, an' de bah w'at stole 
 em an' fotch 'em hyuh is done gwan to bunk in 
 Gape Fair jail des' as soon as I kin git a wah'nt 
 fum de Squiuh ! " 
 
 Den he resh outen de cabin. Sandy he see 
 dat dey boun' to pussecute him to deff at las', 
 an' he des' rise up an' sheck de dust o' de Gape 
 Fair kentry offen he feet, an' flewed away. He 
 
Persecuted Sandy Bunn. 6i 
 
 up Norf, now, an' 'peahs lack he hidin' yit, fo' 
 feeuh dey attuh him to pussecute him to dis day. 
 But dey ain't ; an' w'en yo' go back I weesh yo' 
 des' tell him so. But tell him dey hain't got 
 ovuh tinkin' down yon dat he bean de monst'us- 
 es' liah dat evuh wuz 'long de Cape Fair Rivuh 
 — an' dat' too bad, suh, fo' Sandy he bean pow'- 
 ful pious ! 
 
POLITE SIMSON COWLIP. 
 
POLITE SIMSON COWLIP. 
 
 The Black Homer's Recollection of Simson Nat- 
 ually Lead Him to Some Reference to Other 
 Startling Products of the Piney Woods and the 
 Cape Fear Country. 
 
 I doan' spec' yo' evuh did heah 'bout Simson 
 Cowlip, w'at live down 'long de Cape Fair 'fo' 
 de wall, an' bean so monst'ous pullite ? Co'se 
 yo' didn't ! I des' natch'ly mowt know'd yo' 
 nevuh did heah 'boat him, suh. Desp'rit pul- 
 lite, he bean ! Um-m-m-um ! How pulli-i-i-te 
 dat man bean ! Pow'ful nice man, dough, Sim- 
 son he bean. Pow'ful nice man. Yo' often 
 heah 'boat folks bein' so very kyine dey won't 
 hahm a fly, but Simson Cowlip he so ovuh- 
 whemmin' kyine he jes' natch'ly won't even shoo 
 a fly ! Yes, suh ! Dat's a fac', suh ! Why, one 
 time at dinnuh he wife say to him : 
 
 "Yo' Simson!" she say, " waffo' yo' doan' 
 
 eat yo' pie ? Ain' dat pie good ? " 
 
 5 65 
 
66 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 *' Nev' bean bettuh pie on top dis hyuh erf ! " 
 Simson he say. " But duh's a fly on it, honey ! " 
 
 Den he wife she say : " Fly on it ? Dat doan' 
 hu't de pie ! Shoo de fly away ! Shoo de fly 
 away, an' eat yo' pie ! " 
 
 " Cain't do it, honey ! " Simson he say. " Dis 
 hyuh fly's wife cain't meek pie fo' him, an' he 
 jes' natch'ly inj'yin' yo's ! I cain't shoo him 
 away ! Bimeby he done go 'w^ay he ownseff, an' 
 den I eat de pie, honey ! " 
 
 Now ain' dat des' too mogrifyin' fo' dis hyuh 
 erf? But dat de kyine o' man Simson Cowlip 
 done bean. Too pullite. Too monst'us pullite. 
 Why, w"at you t'ink.^ I see him mo'n a heap o' 
 times, suh, bare he haid an' bow de geeses into 
 de bahn ! Fac', suh ! Geeses dey bean mighty 
 funny creetuhs. Ev'body know dat. Sometimes 
 all day dey try to git froo a knothole in de fence 
 w'at dey cain't even git dey bills froo, an' den 
 dey bob dey heads goin' froo a bahn do' so high 
 dat a giant kin walk in it 'dout tetchin' de top ! 
 An' many, many time I see Simson Cowlip, w'en 
 he bean standin' by de bahn do', an' a geese it 
 come up an' bob its haid to git in, teck off he 
 hat an' bow to it, an' to nex' geese, an' to nex' 
 geese, till he done bow de hull flock o' geeses in 
 
Polite Simson Cowlip. 67 
 
 de bahn, he so raonst'ous puUite ! Sho ! \\'"at 
 a-yo' t'ink o' dat, now ? Ain' dat been pow'ful 
 queeuh, suh ? But I done see him do it heap o' 
 times ! Heap o' times ! 
 
 Plainty bahs down in de Cape Fair kentry 
 dem days. Plenty of 'em, suh. 'Fo' de wah. 
 Desp'rit ugly bahs, too. Fight teel dey die, an' 
 lookin' fo' fight all de time, suh. All-1-1-1 de 
 time. Simson Cowlip he doan' keeuh fo' dem 
 bahs. Poof! W'at he keeuh fo' dem bahs.? 
 He great bah huntuh. One time, des' when he 
 pow'ful busy plahntin', 'long kim as hiny young 
 chap w'at say he kim all de way fum V'ginny, 
 an' want to hunt an' feesh. Simson he so 
 monst'ous puUite he des' quit lie plahntin' an' tote 
 dat chap 'roun' wiv he bes' hoss, days an' days. 
 Den Simson he say to de shiny chap : 
 " How yo' lack to keel a bah, suh ? " 
 Dat shiny chap he say he lack dat desp'rites' 
 kvine. So Simson he teck him oat in de wudes 
 to keel a bah. Dey hunt an' hunt, an' bahmby 
 Simson he push up a pow'ful big bah. De bah 
 it back up 'gin a gum tree an' gnash he teef an' 
 poun' he dies', an' des' mowt as well holluh to 
 Simson dat he dah him to peetch in. Simson 
 he could keel dat bah right dah, suh, wiv one 
 
68 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 shot, but sho ! dat won't be pullite to he guest, 
 de shiny chap. De shiny chap he spludgin' 
 'roun' in de wudes up de rivuh, an' Simson he 
 holluh to him : 
 
 "Would yo' please be so kyine as to come dis 
 hyuh way, suh ? " 
 
 Dat's w'at Simson he holluh, an' de shiny 
 chap he kim wollupin' down whah Simson bean 
 facin' de bah. He doan' see de bah, but he 
 kim up close to Simson. Simson he smile, teck 
 off he hat, bow to de shiny chap pullites' kyine, 
 p'int to de bah, an' say : 
 
 " Attuh yo', suh !" 
 
 Den de shiny chap he look an' see de bah. 
 He tu'n de coUuh o' w'itewush. He lift one 
 yell out'n heseff, an' I done 'spec' setch a desj^'- 
 rit yell nevuh wuz heeuh'd, suh, 'long de Cape 
 Fair Rivuh, nevuh befo' no' sence, suh ! He 
 done lif dat yell, he drap he gun, an' 'way he 
 scrumble fum dah lack de Ol' Boy heseff kick 
 him in end ! Simson he have he hat in he han^ 
 yit, an' he back bent yit wiv dat pullite bow. 
 He so pow'ful s'prise at de onpulliteness o' de 
 shiny chap dat he bean frow cleah off he gahd, 
 an' 'fo' he git it back ag'in dat ol' bah wuz 
 clawin' an' chawin' an' scrummagin' him all ovuh, 
 
Polite Simson Cowlip. 69 
 
 suh ! Bowleg Jeff Pool, he choppin' in de 
 wudes on de yon side de Cape Fair, an' he heah 
 de onpleasantness. He wobble ovuh dah, an' 
 lie say dat ef he didn't git dah des' de time he 
 do, an' squash dat bah's haid in wiv he ax, dah 
 wouldn't bean 'nough o' Simson lef fo' de Cali- 
 nuh's inques' to set on, suh ! As it bean, dey 
 haf to tote Simson home on a stretchuh, an' he 
 done stay in he bed free weeks. Den he 
 ask fo' de shiny chap, an' dey tell him fo' de 
 fus' time dat de shiny chap done gone away 
 long ago, in de night time, an' teck one o' 
 Simson's hosses wiv him, an' nevuh come back 
 no mo'. 
 
 " W'ich hoss .'' " Simson he say. 
 
 Dey tell him, " De gray geldin'." 
 
 " Oh ! " he say, " dat bean monst'ous shame- 
 ful ! Why," he say, " de gray geldin' it lame 
 in bofe its hin' laigs an' its fo' laigs, desp'rites' 
 kyine, an' dat po' chap he done gone away 
 t'inkin' I onpuUite 'nough to leave a lame hoss 
 dah a pu'pose ! Oh, dat monst'ous shameful ! " 
 
 Seems to me, suh, I nevuh see or heeuh 'bout 
 a man dat bean so pow'ful pullite as Simson 
 Cowlip bean. Nevuh, suh ! 
 
 An' dat dah done mind me dat dahkies dev 
 
70 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 bean pow'ful skeeuht o' bah. Doan' 'spec' yo' 
 know de reeson, suh ? Co'se yo' doan'. De 
 reeson dahkies so pow'ful skeeuht o' bah is dat 
 dey's full o' de idee dat duh ain' noffin' bahs is 
 so desp'rit fond o' doin' as to chaw off nigguhs' 
 heels, suh ! If yo' skimmish roun' hyuh a right 
 smaht, suh, an' don't miss any p'ints, bahmby I 
 bet yo' be sayin' to yo'se'f : " Sho ! Hain' some o' 
 dese cullud folks's laigs sot a desp'rit sight 
 fo'wuds on de hoof ? " I bet dat's wa't yo'd be 
 sayin', suh, 'cause natch'ly dat's jes' w'at yo'd 
 see. I'se built a heap on dat plan myse'f, suh. 
 Bressed ef I kin tell yo' w'at's de use fo' all dat 
 heel ! I nevuh knowed 'cept one time when it 
 'peah'd lack dat heel might a ben put on de dahky 
 fo' business, an' dat time de 'speriment didn' 
 wuck, jes' 'cause de dahky w'ut owned de heel 
 didn't know 'nuff not to make a ho^ o' hese'f, 
 suh. A heap o' cullud gemmen bean tossin' 
 pennies, suh — dem great big coppuh ones we 
 use to have. Dey bean tossin' so pow'ful, suh, 
 dat fus' along mo'n couple dozen pennies rollin' 
 roun' on de groun' at one time. Sam Cheste'- 
 field he didn' des' happen to have no pennies to 
 toss, an' he prancin' roun' countin' heads an' 
 tails, an' mixin' hese'f up in de game mighty 
 
Polite Simson Cowlip. 71 
 
 'fishus. I nevuh did see setch a desp'rit lot o* 
 flesh layin' on de hind side of a nigguh's foot 
 as Sam Cheste'field fro wed back frum his — 
 nevuh, suh ! Bimeby dem pennies dey took to 
 shrinking an' dey shrink an' dey shrink, till 
 bahmby dey cain't find no mo'n 'bout a dozen to 
 toss wiv. Den Shacky Dillin'ham he cock he 
 eye an' sheck he haid an' say : 
 
 *' Sho's yo' bo'n, gemmen," he say, " dah's a 
 nigguh hyuh w'at's got tah on he heel ! " 
 
 Den all de dahkeys dey tu'n up dey feet, 'cept 
 Sam Cheste'field, an' he 'gin to aidge away, suh. 
 But dey cotch him, an' w'at yo' tink, suh ? Sam 
 he have tah on he heel, an' twelve o' dem big 
 pennies bean stickin' in it, suh, snug as kin be, 
 wiv plenty room fo' de uddah twelve, suh ! 
 Bress me ! but Sam Cheste'field he did have a 
 pow'ful heel ! Ef a bah evuh chaw dat heel off 
 o' Sam's foot, it be like cuttin' a dog's tail off 
 des' 'hind his ears, suh ! But vv'at good dat heel 
 do Sam ? Not a speck, suh, des' 'kaze he make 
 a hog o' hese'f, an' ritch out to git all dem pen- 
 nies, 'sted of wobblin' off wiv twelve when he 
 hab de chance, suh. 
 
 Yes, suh. Dat's why dahkies so desp'rit skeeuht 
 o' bah. Dey's full o' de idee dat bahs des' 
 
72 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 natch'ly won't do nuffin' else if dey kin git to 
 cliaw nigguhs' heels. 
 
 Reckon I bettuh tell yo', suh, 'bout how 
 crackinacious bahs dey done bean, down dis 
 hyuh way. De bahs o' de Drownin' Creek 
 kentry, dey hog bahs. De bahs down yon in de 
 Cape F'air kentry, dey co'n bahs. De bahs way 
 up yon in de mountain grass kentry, dey sheep 
 bahs. An' de hull caboodle of 'em, suh, hog 
 bahs, co'n bahs, an' sheep bahs, dey jes' natch'ly 
 de devil's own ! Pow'ful bad beas'es. Pow'ful 
 bad! 
 
 Waffo' dey call 'em hog bahs, an' co'n bahs, 
 an' sheep bahs .? Dat's des' w'at I done gwan 
 tell yo', suh. 'Zac'ly w'at I done gwan tell yo'. 
 Drownin' Creek bahs, dem call hog bahs 'kase 
 dey steal hogs. Cape Fair Kentry bahs, dem 
 call co'n bahs 'kase dey steal co'n. Mountain 
 grass kentry bahs, dem call sheep bahs 'kase 
 dey steal sheep. Waffo' Drownin' Creek bahs 
 steal hogs? 'Kase dey done like hogs bett'n 
 anyt'ing else ? No, suh ! Waffo' Cape Fair 
 Rivuh bahs steal co'n ? 'Kase dey done like 
 co'n bett'n anyt'ing else ? No, suh ! Waffo' 
 mountain grass kentry bah steal sheep ? 'Kase 
 dey done like sheep bett'n anyt'ing else ? No, 
 
Polite Simson Cowlip. 73 
 
 suh ! Den waffo' dem bahs do dein t'ings ? 
 Des' 'kase dey de devil's own, dat's v;hy, suh ! 
 
 Des' yo' listen hyuh, suh. I tell yo' suffin'. 
 De po' man down yon in de Drownin' Creek 
 kentry he done 'pen' on he hogs to he'p him froo 
 de wintuh. He doan' rise no co'n to sell much. 
 Des' 'nough fo' hominy wiv he hog. He kin 
 sell hog an' buy co'n. Po' man on Drownin' 
 Creek he lose he hog he lose a heap, suh. Po' 
 man in de Cape Fair kentry he done 'pen' on he 
 co'n mos' of all, kase he rise a heap o' co'n, an' 
 sell it, an' buy po'k if he want to. But he 'pen' 
 on he co'n pow'ful to help him froo. Po' man 
 up yon in de mountain grass kentry he done 
 'pen' on he sheep, an' he kin buy co'n an' po'k, 
 too. Dem bahs dey done know all dat, suh, des' 
 as well as de po' mans do. Den w'at dey do.-* 
 Drownin' Creek bahs dey steal po' man's hogs. 
 Cape Fair kentry bahs dey steal po' man's co'n. 
 Mountain grass kentry bahs dey steal po' man's 
 sheep. Drowmin' Creek bahs steal po' men's 
 hogs des' so he cain't sell hogs to buy co'n. 
 Cape Fare bahs steal po' man's co'n so he cain't 
 sell co'n to buy hog. Mountain grass kentry 
 bahs steal po' man's sheep so he cain't sell sheep 
 to buy co'n an' hog. Dat's why. If Drownin' 
 
74 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 Creek po' man he rise sheep, den Drownin' 
 Greek bahs dey steal he sheep. If Cape Fair 
 po' man rise hogs, Cape Fair bahs dey steal he 
 hogs. If mountain grass kentry po' man rise 
 co'n, mountain grass bahs steal he co'n. Dey 
 povv'ful bad beas'es ! Yo' bettuh look out fo' 
 'em, suh. I done tol' yo' ! 
 
 Now yo' des' see w'at dey do, suh. Dey in 
 cahoots, dem bahs is. It des' dis-a-\vay, like. 
 ^Maybe long time ago de Cape Fair kentry bahs 
 dey say to de Drownin' Creek bahs an' de moun- 
 tain grass kentry bahs : 
 
 " Look-a hyuh," dey say, '' po' man rise heap 
 o' co'n in Cape Fair kentry. Yo' know dat ? ' 
 
 An' de udduh bahs dey say, " Reckon so ! " 
 
 Den Cape Fair kentry bahs dey say, '' Po' 
 man rise right smaht o' hogs on Drovvnin' Creek, 
 don't he ? " 
 
 An' Drownin' Creek bahs dey say, " Huh, 
 huh ! Oodles of 'em ! " 
 
 Den Cape Fair kentry bahs dey says : " Spec' 
 it pow'ful nice po'k. " 
 
 An' de Drownin' Creek bahs dey smack dey 
 chops an' say: '^'Um-m-m — um ! Sweet as 
 honey, suh ! " 
 
 Den de Cape Fair kentry bahs dey say : " Po' 
 
Polite Simson Cowlip. 75 
 
 man, he rise pow'ful fat sheep in de mountain 
 grass kentry, don't he?" 
 
 An' de mountain grass kentry bahs dey say : 
 " Des'prit fat ! " 
 
 Den de Cape Fair kentry bahs dey say, 
 * Look-a-hyuh. Yo' Drownin Creek bahs yo' 
 des' gevvuh in de po'k crap in yo' kentry, an' we 
 Cape Fair kentry bahs we des' reap de co'n crap 
 down dah. Den we swop yo' co'n fo' po'k, an' 
 yo' swop us po'k fo' co'n, an' we bofe us swop 
 co'n an' po'k to de mountain grass kentry bahs 
 fo' sheep, an' dey swop us sheep fo' co'n an' 
 po'k, an', by jicketty ! we all live highuh dan 
 nigguhs chawin' simmon fed possum ! Um-m-m- 
 um!" 
 
 An' de Drownin' Creek bahs an' de mountain 
 grass kentry bahs dey smack dey chops an' hol- 
 luh: 
 
 " Wow ! Dat's de palatinest ting we evuh did 
 heah ! We done do dat, sho's yo' bo'n ! " 
 
 An' dey done do it evuh sence, suh ! Dey 
 pow'ful bad beas'es ! Dey de devil's own ! 
 
 Now listen, suh ! W'at I gwan tell yo' I 
 nevuh did see myseff, but I heah 'bout it, an' 
 Squiuh Blue he done see it, an' he say so. So 
 nobody dey cain't say : " Sho ! Dat jes' a lie 
 
'](^ The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 piece out'n de story books, dat's all ! " No, 
 suh ! Dey cain't do dat, 'kase Squiuh Blue he 
 done see it, an' he say so. Dis hyuk de way it 
 bean. Squiuh Blue he rise mighty fine hogs in 
 de Drownin' Creek kentry, an' dem bahs dey 
 he'p deyseffs to he hogs monst'uses' kyine. Dey 
 mighty smaht, dem bahs, and Squiuh Blue he 
 des' cain't set he eyes on 'em, nohow, fo' longest 
 time he evuh see. Den bimeby he cotch a big 
 ol' bah totin' off one.o' he shoats, an' he push de 
 bah so pow'ful hahd de bah drap de shoat an' 
 done scoot. 
 
 " Yi, yi ! " Squiuh Blue he say. " Bimeby I 
 gwan to let yo' have dis hyah shoat, Alahs' Bah, 
 but wain yo' git him I git yo' suh ! I done tol' 
 yo' ! " 
 
 Den Squiuh Blue he sen' way up in de moun- 
 tain grass kentry an' get a big bah trap. Den 
 he go 'way out in de wudes, whah he mighty 
 sahtin dat ol' bah lives, an' he take de shoat wiv 
 him. Den he make a pen wiv logs, an' he set de 
 trap in de pen, an' he tie de po' shoat so he lay 
 nigh de trap, and nobody evuh tink dat ol' bah' 
 kin git dat shoat wivout de trap git de ol' bah. 
 
 " Dah ! " Squiuh Blue he say. " Dah's a nice 
 fat shoat fo' yo', Mahs' Bah ! Yo' des' come git 
 
Polite Simson Cowlip. 77 
 
 him, den I come git yo', an' stretch yo' oV hide 
 on my fence ! Dat's w'at I done do, suh ! " 
 
 Den he go home, chucklin' pow'fullest kyine, 
 he feel so good 'kase he done gwan cotch de ol' 
 bah. Two, free days he go out in de wudes to 
 git de bah. He snickin' up to de pen, w'en he 
 see a big bah snickin' up too. De bah have 
 heap o' co'n in he ahms, an' he go in de open 
 side de pen. Den Squiuh Blue he snick up close 
 an' peek froo de chink, an' he see suffin' he nev- 
 uh did fo'git, suh. Dah de ol' bah w'at he sot 
 de trap fo'. Dah de trap, tight shet like it nevuh 
 did be sot. Dah de po' shoat, tied des' lack de 
 Squiuh done tie him. Dah a big heap co'n on 
 de groun', ah' dah de udduh bah chuckin' he 
 ahmful on de heap. De ol' bah w'at de Squiuh 
 done sot de trap fo', he look de heap o' de co'n 
 all ovuh, an' den he nod he haid to udduh bah, 
 an' udduh bah he jDick up de trap an' shoat an' 
 'way he go, p'intin' fo' de Cape Fair kentry. 
 Squiuh Blue he des' natch'ly pick heself up an' 
 scoot 'way from dah, he so pow'ful skeeuht, an' 
 he nevuh say a t'ing, suh, till he git safe home in 
 he house, den he holluh : 
 
 "Mighty Gabr'el!" he holluh. " Dem ain' 
 bahs ! Dem devils ! " 
 
78 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 Wat 5'o fink o' dat, siih ? Ain' dat desp'rit ? 
 But dat ain' de all of it. Joe Yandle he a po' 
 man down yon in de Cape Fair kentry. He 
 rise co'n on he plahntation, an' debahs dey keep 
 a reapin' he crap so pow'ful much, he des' git 
 him an ol' gun, an' he load it, an' he tromp, 
 tromp up an' down he plahntation, an' peppuh de 
 bahs w'en dey come snickin' roun' attuh he co'n. 
 De bahs dey try to skeeuh him ^vay, but dey 
 cain't do it, an' one day a pow'ful big bah he des' 
 come squah at Joe an' pitch in to tah him all to 
 pieces, but Joe he peppuh a hole clean froo de 
 bah, an' attuh dat de bahs dey done fight shy o' 
 Joe's co'n fiel'. Joe he chuckle, 'kase he tink he 
 skeer de bahs so dey done got 'nough o' him, but 
 he tromp he plahntation wiv he ol' gun des' de 
 same. One day he trompin' froo he co'n fiel' an' 
 he see a pile o' shucks on de groun' an' he haul 
 off an' kick it. Snap ! suffin' go in de shucks, 
 an' Joe he des' stan' still an' holluh like a bull 
 at a beefin'. Waffo' Joe he holluh ? He done 
 been cotch in a bah trap, dat's w^affo' he hol- 
 luh ! Den two big bahs dey resh out'n de high 
 co'n, an' des' gwan to tah Joe all to pieces, 'kase 
 he done fas' in de trap, but Joe he peppuh a hole 
 froo one dem bahs mighty quick, suh, an' scrunch 
 
Polite Simson Cowlip. 79 
 
 udduh ball's haid wiv he gun, an' slash he froat 
 wiv he knife 'fo' de bah know w'at done drap on 
 him ! Joe he holluh so loud dey hear 'im 'way 
 to de house, an' come an' pry him out'n de bah 
 trap. Squiuh Blue he heah "bout dis hyuh, bahm- 
 by, an' den he know. Dat bah wiv de co'n w'at 
 he see de day he snick to de bah trap in de pen, 
 dat bean a Cape Fairkentry bah come up to de 
 "Drownin' Creek kentry to sw^op co'n fo' po'k. 
 He fum Joe Yandle's plahntation. He done see 
 de bah trap, an' des' natch'ly want it, so dey kin 
 cotch Joe, an' he strike up a swop fo' de trap, 
 too, an' tote it back an' set it fo' Joe ! Sho ! 
 Dem bahs de devil's own ! Yes, suh ! Dey 
 pow'ful bad beas'es ! You bettuh look out fo' 
 em, suh 1 I done tol' yo' i 
 
POOR BEAR'S BAD BROTHER. 
 
POOR BEAR'S BAD BROTHER. 
 
 The Black Homer Tells why He Weeded out corn 
 Instead of Going Fishmg, Although Mahs' Mc- 
 Keever Said He Might Go, and the Fish were 
 Biting Like Everything. 
 
 I BEEN des' a pickaninny yit, an' one day I 
 say to Mahs' ^^IcKeevuh : 
 
 " Mahsuh, 'peahs lack I want to go feeshin' 
 miglity bad dis evenin'." 
 
 Mahs' he say, "Is de feesh bitin' wufE yo' 
 w'ile ? " 
 
 •' Um-m-m-m ! " I say. " Nobody kin 'membuh 
 suh, when feesh been bitin' so strenuous ! " 
 
 " Sho ! " mahs', he say. " Whah dey bitin' de 
 bes' ? " 
 
 " 'Way down yon whah de rivuh bend, suh, in 
 de black hole," I say. 
 
 " Huh, huh ! " mahs' he say. " I doan' spec' 
 
 yo' got bait enough to cotch des' one little red 
 
 mullet ! " he say. 
 
 S3 
 
84 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 " Jicketty ! " I say. " I done got bait enough 
 to cotch a whale, suh ! " 
 
 Den mahs' he ponduh in he mind a w'ile, an^ 
 bahmby he say : 
 
 " Co'se you done heah 'bout de bah w'at doan' 
 do nuffin' but des' lay in de woods down by de 
 black hole in de bend, waitin' togollup anything 
 w'at he kin lie he ban's on ? Co'se vo' done 
 heah 'bout dat bah." 
 
 " Mighty Gabr'el ! " I say, " I nevuh do heah 
 nuffin' 'bout dat bah ! " 
 
 Den I\Iahs' McKeevuh he done look at me 
 right smaht, an' bahmby he say : 
 
 " An' doan' yo' nevuh heah 'bout datbah'spo' 
 brudduh, neiduh .? " 
 
 " No, suh," I say. " Is dat bah's brudduh 
 down dah, too ? " 
 
 " Co'se he ain't ! " mahs' he say. " How kin 
 he be down dah w'en he been daid dese yeahs 
 an' yeahs? Sho ! I reckon I bettuh tellyo' 'bout 
 dat bah's brudduh, 'kase he been a Cape Fair 
 kentry bah, an' dey pow'ful smaht. Some 
 day maybe yo' have 'sperience wid Cape Fair 
 kentry bahs, an' den yo' be on yo' gahd 'gin 
 'em." 
 
 Den mahs' he done tell me. 'Peahs one time 
 
Poor Bear's Bad Brother. 85 
 
 duh bean a schoolhouse in de woods on de Mc- 
 Keevuh plahntation, an' mahs' he git a mighty 
 nice young gal from 'way up on de Tah Rivuh to 
 titch dat school. Dat gal's name it done bean 
 Jane Chippendale, an' fum w'at mahsuh say I 
 reckon she bean pow'ful peeuht. She live heah, 
 an' she live dah, an' she live yon, 'kaze folks dey 
 say dat gal she too nice to shine on des' one 
 family all de hull time, an' so some time she 
 boun' to teck pow'ful long walks 'fo' she git to 
 the place whah she livin'. A monst'us big bah 
 bean ramificatin' round dat kentry des' 'bout dat 
 dah time, stealin' pigs an' cuttin' up didoes, an' 
 nobody bean smaht enough to cotch him. Jane 
 Chippendale she doan' know nuffin' 'bout dis 
 hyuh bah, an' de bah he doan' knownuffin"bout 
 Jane Chippendale, till one day Jane she bean 
 gwan home fum school down to Squiuh Cam- 
 mun's, whah she livin' den, an' des^ she glidin' 
 by de ol' field pine lot, on de aidge o' de planta- 
 tion, she heah suffin' squidjle in the bresh, an' 
 'fo' she kin tu'n to look an' see w'at done do de 
 squidjlin^, out in the road kim a bah, wiv de 
 brussels on he back riz up, an' he eyes snappin' 
 lack dey done have fiah in 'em, Jane she bean 
 so skeeuht she stan' dah lack she bean glued to 
 
86 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 de groun', an' she cain't even holluh. De bah 
 he stop an' tu'n he eyes on Jane, an' jicketty! 
 de snap it done quit he eyes dat minute, an' he 
 brussels dey drap flat on he hide. 
 
 " He des' give a gasp an' a gulp," Jane Chip- 
 pendale she say when she tell 'bout it, " an' rise 
 squah up on he hind feet an' gleam at me wiv 
 one eye. He rise up he han's des' lack he done 
 bean so 'stounded he cain't b'lieve he own eyes. 
 Den," Jane she say, " I see de bah's haht go 
 plunky, plunky, 'gin he chist, des' lack it boun' 
 to jump out'n dah, he bean scrimmaging froo de 
 bresh so fast, I reckon," Jane she say. 
 
 But young Mahsuh Sam Cammun he know a 
 heap bettuh'n dat. He know dat bean des' 
 'zac'ly de way he own haht done plunky plunk 
 'gin he chist fus' time he see dat little Janey, an' 
 de way it done keep plunkin ev' time he t'ink 
 'bout huh sence. But no diffunce. Dat bah he 
 Stan' dah an' gleam at Jane mo'n two minutes, 
 wiv he haht a plunkin', and den Jane she 'mem- 
 buh she hav huh lungs wiv huh, an' she des' t'un 
 'em loose. 'Peahs lack dat transmogrify de 
 bah. He scootle ovuh de fence, but he frow 
 sheep's eyes at Jane all de time, so she do de- 
 clah. Den Jane she des' skittuh by lack de 
 
Poor Bear's Bad Brother. 8y 
 
 win', but cain't he'p frowin' huh eye back 
 bahmby, an' dah she see dat bah whah he done 
 dumb on de fence, suh, gleamin' attuh huh, wiv 
 bofe he paws lyin' right whah Jane done see he 
 haht plunkin'in he chist ! Den Jane she skittuh 
 on, an' w'en she git down in de holluh whah she 
 t^ink de bah cain't see huh no mo', she stop an' 
 look back. An' w'at yo' t'ink, suh ? Dah she 
 see de bah, in de top of a big daid tree, gleamin' 
 attuh huh yit, an' his paws dey done bean 
 squeeze tight ag'in he chist, suh ! Dat bah 
 scrooch in dat tree yit when Jane scoot in 
 i\lahsuh Cammun's house, but when she look 
 out'n de window de bah bean gone. 
 
 Co'se, ev'body dey know dis hyuh bah bean 
 de one w'at bean scrummagin' roun' de plahnta- 
 tions so long, an' when Jane she heah de slam- 
 bacious t'ings w'at dat bah done do, she mighty 
 skeeuht 'bout gwan to huh school nex' mo'nin', 
 but young Mahsuh Sam he teck he gun an' go 
 wiv huh, so he kin kill dat bah if it kim out dat 
 a-way ag'in. But de bah doan' show heseff, an' 
 Mahsuh Sam he done go back home wiv he haht 
 plunkin' 'gin he chist wussuh dan evuh. But 
 when Jane she glide 'long dat way to de planta- 
 tion attuh school dat evenin', dah de bah ag'in ! 
 
8S The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 Dis time he keep 'way ovuh in de ol' field, but he 
 gleam at Jane, an' press he paws 'gin he chist, 
 an' roll an' scroll he eyes, Jane she do declah, 
 des' lack a dyin' calf. Jane she doan be skeeuht 
 lack she bean d'udduh time, but she scoot by, 
 an' when she look back, dah de bah on de fence, 
 gleamin' attuh huh ; an' when she git down in 
 de holluh, dah de bah up in de tree, holdin' he 
 paws 'gin he chist, des' lack he keepin' he haht 
 from plunkin' out o' dah ! 
 
 Nex' day all de folks dey lie fo' dat bah in de 
 ol' field wiv guns, so dey kin wuffle him down 
 wiv lead ef he 'peah dah on parade fo' Jane, but 
 he doan' 'peah. Jane she glide on by whah de 
 men dey lyin' fo' de bah, an' fo' she done gone 
 fah, dah de bah, suh, sho's you bo'n, peekin' 
 out at huh fum de bush, wiv he paws on he 
 chist ! So bahmby folks dey see de bah boun' 
 to act so lack a gemman, an' doan' lie roun' dah 
 to chaw de peeuht little schoolma'am, an' bean 
 so took up wiv huh dat he give de pigs a rest, 
 dat dey doan' was'e dey time no mo' lyin' fo' him 
 wiv guns. An' Jane, she doan be feeuhd o' de 
 bah no mo', but 'peahs lack she mighty tickled 
 to see him waitin' fo^ huh, fus' in one place, den 
 in annudduh, nevuh comin' nigh huh, but always 
 
Poor Bear's Bad Brother. 89 
 
 gleamin' at huh like a dyin' calf, an' holdin' he 
 haht down wiv he paws. Ev'body dey teck to 
 teasin' Jane an' jokin' huh 'kaze a bah des' 
 natch'ly tumble haid ovah heels in love wiv huh 
 — ev'body but young ]\Iahsuh Sam Cammun, an' 
 he swah an' swah dat de fus' t'ing dat bah know 
 he done git he soft pate knocked off. But some- 
 how Mahsuh Sam he nevuh did 'peah to go an' 
 teck de job he ownseff. 
 
 Now dey bean some desp'rit scrunchy folks 
 down dah, an' Jane Chippendale she done fine 
 de pickin' mighty slim sometimes whah she 
 boa'd. Bahmby she git to one o' dem dah 
 places, an' folks dey say : 
 
 " Po' Janey. She des' natch'ly stahve to deff 
 dah ! Dey doan' nevuh have nuffin' dah but co'n 
 pone an' 'lasses, an' 'lasses an' co'n pone ; an' 
 dey nevuh do have much o' dat! " 
 
 But w'at yo' t'ink, suh ? Fus' mo'nin' attuh 
 Janey bean dah, ef dey doan' fine on de do' step 
 the nices' hunk o' juicy ven'son w'at evuh did 
 be sliced fum a buck or a doe.' An' w'at else 
 yo' t'ink, suh ? Bah tracks dey done lead fum 
 de woods to dat do' step, an' bah tracks dey 
 done lead 'way fum dat do' step to de woods ! 
 An' dem bah tracks dey bean so monst'us big 
 
90 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 dat folks know duh ain't no bah kin meek 'em 
 but dat singacious bah w'at lose he haht ovuh 
 de little schoolma'm ! An' all de time Janey she 
 done boa'd dah dat bah keep de house in ven'- 
 son, and Janey she des' live on de fat o' de Ian ! 
 An' dat pestuh folks de desp'uttes' kyine, 'kaze 
 it spooky, suh ! It spooky ! 
 
 \A'ell, suh, dat plunkin' o' jMahsuh Sam Cam- 
 mun's haht it doan' plunk fo' nuffin', suh, 'kase 
 bahmby folks dey see dat Jane she kyine o' like it, 
 an' one day Jane she say she gwan to quit de 
 school, 'kaze she gwan to marry Sam. 'Peahs lack 
 de bah doan heah nuffin' 'bout dat, 'kaze Jane 
 she see him heah an' dah an' yon, peekin' at huh 
 wid dem dyin' calf's eyes an' holdin' he haht in 
 he chist. Sometimes he stay all day high in de 
 wild bullis grapevines back de school-house, 
 peekin' at Janey, an' she doan' tell nobody,' kase 
 she doan' want folks to shoot de bah. 
 
 Den de day it kim when Janey an' Mahsuh 
 Sam dey gone gwan to be married. Dey ridin' 
 to de preachuh, an' 'way up 'long de road Janey 
 she done see de bah, and de bah he ain' got no 
 eyes des' den fo' nobody but Janey, and he look 
 soft at huh, an' hold he chist. Den bahmby he 
 see Mahsuh Sam. An' den he see Janey she all 
 
Poor Bear's Bad Brother. 91 
 
 in huh white dress, an' huh ribbons flyin an' 
 she des' a-beamin' on Sam, an' Sam des' 
 a-beamin' on huh. Den dat bah he know. 
 Janey she done declah she nevuh did see setch 
 a t'ing as de way dat bah done look out'n he 
 eyes des' ef de hull wul' it done tu'n dark an' 
 dreary ! Janey she do declah it mos' meek huh 
 weep big teahs, De bah he poun' he chist an' 
 'way he scuffle in de woods. Des' little w'ile 
 attuh dat IMahs' McKeevuh say he bean gwan 
 by de schoolhouse an' he heah a sloshin' in de 
 wild bullis grapevines back dab. He go in dah, 
 an' w'at yo' t'ink, suh ,'' 'Way up in de vines 
 hang dat bah. He done twis'a vine roun' he 
 neck an' drap out'n de tree, an' dah he hang, 
 suh, kickin' he las' kick. 
 
 " He des' natch'ly done kill heseff fo' love," 
 Mahs' McKeevuh he say. " Dat's all. He a 
 mighty smaht bah, but jicketty ! w'at a sapana- 
 cious fool he done bean ! An' dat savage oV 
 bah down dah by de black hole in de bend o' de 
 rivuh he bean dat po' bah's brudduh come hyuh 
 to des' 'venge him ! Dat's w'at he done do," 
 mahs' he say. 
 
 Den Mahs' McKeevuh he look at me right 
 smaht ag'in, an' he say : 
 
92 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 " Sho ! Why, yo' bean fattuh dan a 'simmon- 
 fed possum ! '' he say. " I nevuh do see setch a 
 fat little nigguh lack yo' ! An' I des' bet yo' 
 bean tenduh as a chicken ! Whew ! How dat 
 po' bah's brudduh done gwan to smack he lips 
 an' chuckle when he see yo' feeshin' down dah 
 in de black hole ! Um-m-m-m — um ! how he 
 done chuckle ! Why, sho'ly yo' kin go feeshin'," 
 mahs' he say, " ef yo' bean sho' yo' done got 
 bait enough, an' dat de feesh dey bean bitin'. 
 Co'se yo' kin go feeshin'," mahs' he say. 
 
 But den I des' happen to t'ink how dat co'n 
 done need weedin' out, 'kaze de weeds dey 
 growin' mighty rank, an' I feel monst'us guilty 
 dat I doan' go he'p weed dat co'n 'stid o' t'inkin' 
 'bout mopin' on de rivuh bank wiv a ol' feesh 
 pole, an' I say to mahsuh : 
 
 "Yo' very kyine, mahsuh, but 'peahs lack I 
 bettuh he'p weed out dat co'n, suh." 
 
 Mahs' he grin an' say dat bean all right, an' I 
 skittuh fo' de co'n field. Des' fo' I git dah I 
 look back, an' I see mahsuh totin' de feesh pole 
 an' de bait he ownseff, an' p'intin' straight fo' 
 de black hole. 
 
 "Jicketty!" I say, "Mahs' McKeevuh done 
 bean de bol'est man I evuh did see ! I des' bet 
 
Poor Bear's Bad Brother. 93 
 
 he gwan clown von to kill dat ol' bah. He 
 mighty kyine man, mahsuh bean," I say. 
 
 I he'p weed de co'n all day, an' mahs' he kim 
 back dat evenin', totin' a heap o' jackfeesh w'at 
 he done cotch, but he doan' have de coccuss o' 
 dat monst'us ol' bah. Bahmby I say : 
 
 " Di'n de ol' bah joggle yo', mahsuh ? " 
 
 " He done peek out o' dem woods ! "' mahs' he 
 say, "but I reckon he t'ink I too ol' an' tough, 
 an' he skeeuh'd o' me." 
 
 Den mahs' he look at me an' chuckle ovuh de 
 wav he done fool dat ol' bah, an' he tell me I kin 
 git some mo' bait an' go feeshin' down dah nex' 
 day, but I bean so busy wiv de co'n dat I can't 
 git away, an' I nevuh did see de vengeful brud- 
 duh o' dat po' bah w'at done kill heseff fo' love. 
 Doan' dat be too monst'us bad, suh ? 
 
THE SELFISH GOBBLER. 
 
THE SELFISH GOBBLER. 
 
 A Story by the Black Homer, Showing Tow Greed 
 is Sure to Over-reach itself, and How Much 
 Better it is to Share with Your P'ellows, even 
 though They may Not be in Your Set. 
 
 He chillun an' he chillun's chillun might be 
 livin' dah yit, I reckon, if dat ol' gobbluh didn't 
 have trouble wiv an ol' bah w'at come snoopin' 
 roun' in dah. Dat gobbluh an' he fambly have 
 nicest kyine o' pickin' in dat timbuh. Um-m-m, 
 um-m-m ! w'at nice pickin' dat ol' tucky an' he 
 fambly have ! Ac'ons, aco'ns, aco'ns — heaps an' 
 heaps of 'em ; an' wil' grapes ! Sho ! Wil' 
 grapes jes' natch'ly dim an' kink an' twis' 'em- 
 se'fs 'mongst dat timbuh, an' ritch out dis a-way, 
 dat a-way, dis a-way, dat a-way, till it 'peahs like 
 dey goin' to hug an' squeeze dat big timbuh jes' 
 'bout to deff wiv joy, dey so pow'ful glad dey 
 livin' in dah ! But dat ol' tucky gobbluh he done 
 7 97 
 
98 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 t'ink it ain't 'nough fo' him to be jes' a tucky, an' 
 he set heseff up to be a hog, too, an' he overritch 
 heseff. Desp'rit sight, he did, suh ! Desp'rit 
 sight ! 
 
 Monst'us cur'us, too, waffo' dat ol' gobbluh be 
 so seffish, 'kase he mighty good to he wife, an' 
 wil' tucky gobbkihs w'at don' lickdey wifes, suh, 
 dey's pow'ful scahce. 'Tickly w'en dey wifes is 
 gwan to hatch dey aigs. Den de gobbluhs dey 
 git mad an' ugly as a nigguli wiv he head full o' 
 pine-top rum, suh, an' kick an' pick an' joggle 
 dey wifes 'round till de po' wifes dey wush dey 
 daid, an' snick away an' hide dey seffs whah dey 
 husban' can't fin' 'em, so dey kin lay dey aigs an' 
 hatch 'em. But dis hyuh ol' gobbluh he doan' do 
 dat a-way. He mighty kyine to he wife w'en 
 she hatchin', so it monst'us cur'us he so pow'ful 
 seffish. 
 
 One day he drap he big wings on de groun', 
 an' swuU up he ches", an' turn all he blood into 
 he wiskuhs, an' stret roun' an' roun', to show he 
 wife w'at a pow'ful gran' chap he been, whah 
 she sot on de nes', hatchin' a new fambly. 
 Bimeby he quit strettin', an' say to he wife: 
 
 " Ise gwan ovuh yon," he say, " to scratch up 
 some las' yeah's aco'ns fo' mah dinnuh," he say, 
 
The Selfish Gobbler. 99 
 
 " an' see wuvvuh de grape vines is buddin' right 
 smaht," he say. 
 
 He wife she say : " All right, suh," an' he went. 
 
 De ol' gobbluh he scratch up an' pick aco'ns 
 till he craw 'mos' bustin',w'en he heeuhd a scrunch 
 in de groun' hehin' him, an' a noise, way down 
 in somefin's froat, w'at say : 
 
 " Boo-o-o-o-f ! Boo-o-o-o-f ! " 
 
 De gobbluh mighty skeeuht, an' fly up on a 
 limb. Den he look down, an' see an' ol' bah an' 
 two teeny cubs. Dat make de ol' gobbluh des- 
 p'rit mad, an' he holluh : 
 
 " Hyuh, yo' t'ievin' bah ! W'affo' yo' come 
 snoopin' roun' hyuh, rootin' up mah aco'ns ? 
 Bimeby I 'spec' yo' be attuh mah grapes, too ! 
 G'way fum hyuh, bah ! Dis hyuh's mah plahnta- 
 tion, suh ! G'way, I tell yo' ! " 
 
 Den de ol' bah des' natch'ly lay back an' lahf 
 an' lahf, an' de teeny cubs dey mos' tickle dey- 
 seffs to deff. Bimeby de ol' bah say : 
 
 " Sho', ]\Iahs' Gobbluh ! Ain' yo' 'shame yo'- 
 seff ? Wh}'', dah's mo' aco'ns layin' roun' hyuh 
 dan all de bahs an' tuckeys dah is anywhah' 
 mos', could eat in a yeah ! " 
 
 " Doan' keeuh fo' dat, suh ! " de gobbluh he hol- 
 luh. " Dis hyuh's my plahntation ! Doan' want 
 
100 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 no t'ievin' bahs loafin' on it, suh ! G'way, I tell 
 yo ! 
 
 Den de ol' bah lay back an' lahf an' lahf mo'n 
 evuh, an' de teeny cubs dey des' mos' couldn' hoi' 
 deyseffs, dey so tickled. Den de ol'bah root up 
 a heap o' aco'ns an' chomp 'em, an' cock she eye 
 up an* say : 
 
 "Dese mighty fine aco'ns, Mahs' Gobbluh ! 
 Mighty fine, suh ! " 
 
 Den she lahf some mo', an' root an' chomp, 
 an' lahf some mo', an' root an' chomp, till de ol' 
 gobbluh he des' natch'ly git so pow'ful mad he 
 riz up an' plink down squah on de bah's back. 
 An' he monst'us heavy, dat ol' gobbluh, suh, an' 
 mos' knock de breff clean out dat bah w'en he 
 light. But de bah cotch she breff, an' done kick 
 an' growl an' snap, an' try to sheck de gobbluh 
 off, but de gobbluh he clutch de bah's wool 
 mighty deep wiv he long toenails, an' scrunch 
 'em down in de bah's meat till she squeal, I tell 
 yo', suh ! An' he peck at de bah's eyes wiv he 
 sharp bill, an' hammuh her wiv he big wings till 
 she gevvuh sheself up an' meek tracks mighty 
 fas' 'way from dat plahntation, de ol' gobbluh 
 clutchin' de bah' meat clean to de backbone, an' 
 peckin', and holl'n : 
 
The Selfish Gobbler. loi 
 
 " I tol' yo' to g'way f'um mah plahntation, yo 
 t'ievin' bah ! I meek yo lahf on udduh side yo' 
 ugly chops ! Reckon yo' won' come rootin' up 
 mah aco'ns mighty soon ag'in ! " 
 
 De ol' gobbluh he joggle de bah dat a-way fo' 
 mos' a mile, an' de teeny cubs dey tumble 'long 
 behind, squealin' an' whinin', an' mos' wushin' 
 dey bean daid. Den de gobbluh he let loose an' 
 fly up in a tree, an' lahf an' holluh, an' holluh an' 
 lahf, till de ol' bah an' de teeny cubs los' f'um 
 he sight in de timbuh. Den he go home an' tell 
 he wife how he whup de ol' bah, an' he frow he 
 blood in he w'iskuhs an' swell he ches', an' stret 
 an' stret an' stret. 
 
 Bimeby de ol' bah she stop an' flop down an' 
 wait fo' de cubs. Wen dey cotch up she pant 
 awhile an' say : 
 
 " Chillun, dat ol' tuckey cock de mos' mon- 
 st'us seffish crittuh on de face o' dis wide erf ! 
 But nevuh min', chillun ! Yo' mammy git even 
 wiv dat tuckey 'fo' she die ! Min' w'at I tell 
 yo ! 
 
 Den de ol' bah tell de cubs to come along, an' 
 she go to a big holluh tree whah she secon' 
 cousin, Mahs' Coon, he liv wiv he fambly. Mahs' 
 Coon he home, an' de ol' bah she say : 
 
102 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 " Mighty glad to see yo,' Cousin Coon ! " 
 
 Mahs' Coon he say he mighty glad to see he 
 Cousin Bah, an' bimeby dey sen' de coon Chil- 
 ian an' de bah chillun out to play, an' de ol' 
 bah she tell de coon how de seffish ol' tuckey 
 gobbluh joggle huh an' muss huh up. 
 
 " Bress my soul!" de coon he say. ^*Ise 
 pow'ful 'stonished ! " 
 
 ** Yes, suh ! " de bah say. " Dat's w'at dat sef- 
 fish crittuh done gwan an' do to me, suh ! Does 
 yo' know dat gobbluh .'' " 
 
 "'Deed I does, Cousin Bah ! " de coon he say. 
 " Mighty fine neighbuhs dey am, too ! De ol' 
 gobbluh's wife she des' staht in yis'day to hatch 
 her fambly." 
 
 '^ Dat's joyful news, Cousin Coon!" de bah 
 say, an' grit huh teef, and look desp'rit ugly. 
 " Am de gobbluh fon' o' he wife ? " 
 
 " Um-m-m — um-m-m ! " de coon he say. " A 
 heap, I tell yo' ! " 
 
 " Am de wife fon' o' dat hatchin' .'' " de ol'bah 
 she say. 
 
 De coon he say : " Pow'ful, pow'ful. Cousin 
 Bah ! Breck her haht if she lose dem aigs. She 
 drap daid, sho'ly ! An' de ol' gobbluh too, I 
 reckon ! " 
 
The Selfish Gobbler. 103 
 
 Den de ol' bah she grin an' she grin, an' de 
 way she talk 'way down in huh froat make de 
 coon's blood tu'n desp'rit col', suh. 
 
 " Now we git even wiv dat ol' gobbluh ! " de 
 bah say : " Yo' mus' snick dem aigs, Cousin 
 Coon ! " she say. 
 
 *' Bress yo' haht ! " de coon he say. " I cain't 
 do dat ! Dem tuckeys good neighbuhs to me, 
 Cousin Bah ! Mighty fine neighbuhs ! I cain't 
 breck dey hahts dat a-\vay ! 'Deed I cain't ! " 
 
 " Blood am tickuh dan wahtuh, Cousin Coon ! " 
 de bah say. " Yo' mus' snick dtm aigs ! '' 
 
 But de coon he mighty sly, an' he doan' say 
 nuffin' fo' a spell, an' den he say : " I done tell 
 yo' de troof 'bout it. Cousin Bah," he say. " I'se 
 des' watchin' out fo' dat hatchin', 'kaze I ain' 
 mighty fon' o' aigs, an' my fambly ain', but 
 we'se mighty fon' o' young tuckeys. So I'se des' 
 keepin' an eye skinned on dat hatchin', so's 
 w'en de ol' gobbluh's new fambly comes 'long I 
 kin des' natch'ly snick 'em. Dat's de troof, 
 Cousin Bah, so I cain't snick dem aigs, doan' yo' 
 see ? " 
 
 Now de troof bean, suh, de coon he try to 
 snick dem aigs only dat mo'nin', but de gobbluh's 
 wife she holluh, an' de gobbluh come an' give de 
 
104 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 coon setch a jogglin' 'fo' he could git away dat it 
 bean monst'us wond'ful dat he git away at all, suh. 
 He want de aigs mighty bad yit, but he doan' 
 reckon he'd try to snick 'em ag'in, Cousin Bah 
 or no Cousin Bah. Dat bean de troof, an' so de 
 coon des' natch'ly lie pow'ful hahd to de bah. 
 
 Wen de ol' bah heah de coon say why he 
 won't snick the aigs, she des' crunch her teef 
 an' swah ! Jicketty, how she did swah ! An' 
 she holluh : 
 
 " Yo' des' as monst'us seffish as de tuckey gob- 
 bluh ! " she holluh, an' den she haul off an' she 
 sw-a-a-a-t dat coon ! Um-m-m-um — m-m-m ! how 
 she do swat dat coon ! She lif de coon off he 
 feet, an' he nevuh Ian' ag'in till he sail away 
 mo'n ten yahds, suh, an' tumble in de bushes ! 
 Den de ol' bah she holluh to her chillun, an' 
 'way dey done went. De coon's wife she scam- 
 puh out an' fotch him in, an' t'ink he a daid coon, 
 sho'ly, but bahmby he come to heseff, an' say he 
 wish to de Ian' o' goodness dah nevuh bean any 
 tuckey aigs no' Cousin Bahs in de wide, wide 
 wuld. 
 
 De ol' bah she hunt up a holluh log an' snug- 
 gle de cubs in it an' tell 'em to take a snooze, 
 an' she go fo' a walk. Bamby she come to a 
 
The Selfish Gobbler. 105 
 
 big pine tree, an' she rise up to scratch huh 
 mahk on it, an' gnash de bahk ; like bahs does, 
 sub. She scratch an' she gnash an' meek de 
 bahk an' de wood fly, till bahmby she fin' her 
 paws pow"iul sticky, an' when she put 'em on de 
 groun', sho ! she 'mos' stick fas' dah, suh ! She 
 skeeuht, an' she look up at de tree what she scratch 
 an' gnash it. Juice runnin' out dat tree stiff as 
 tah, suh. Dat bean a tahp'ntine tree, but de bah 
 doan' know dat, an' she bean des' gwan to run away 
 fum it, she so- skeeuht, w'en suffin' meek huh stop 
 an' considuh. She doan' considuh mo'n a minute, 
 w'en she des' lay down an' lahf an' roll an' holluh. 
 
 •' I git even wiv dat oF tuckey gobbluh now ! " 
 she holluh, an* she rise up an* gnash dat tree 
 till de bahk an' de wood fly off clean fum de 
 groun' high up as she kin ritch, an' de stiff juice 
 resh down like rain. Den she dig a hole in de 
 groun' mo'n a foot squah an' deep as a dish pan, 
 an' lahf an' hug sheseff like she crazy, an' watch 
 de juice tumble down an' fill de hole. 
 
 INIahs' Coon, back in de holluh tree, he git ovuh 
 he swattin' bahmby, an'staht out fo'a walk. He 
 heah a noise, an' snick up whah it am, an' peek- 
 in' out fum 'hind a stump, he see de ol' bah 
 gnashin' away at de tree. 
 
io6 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 " Jicketty ! " he say. " Dah's Cousin Bah w'at 
 swat me ! " 
 
 He watch an' he listen. He heah de ol' bah 
 say she git even wiv dat tuckey gobbluh now, an' 
 he heah huh say she kivvuh up dat hole full o' 
 tah juice wiv leafs, so it look des' like de natch'l 
 groun', an' den she gwan to lay a trail o' aco'ns 
 to it, an' put aco'ns roun' it, so de ol' gob- 
 bluh he teck de trail an' come 'long right to 
 de hole o' tah juice, step on de leafs, an' 
 squash ! dah he be, cotch in de tah, an' he 
 cain't git away ! 
 
 " Den I come roun' hyuh dis even in' an' have 
 tuckey for suppuh ! " de coon heah de ol' bah say. 
 " I git even wiv dat sefiish ol' gobbluh ! Yum, 
 yum ! " she say, an' smack huh lips. 
 
 Den de bah she go back to de gobbluh's plahn- 
 tation to staht de aco'n trail, an' de coon he des* 
 lay back 'hind de stump an' sheck heseff a lahfin'. 
 Den he scoot back home. He tell he wife suffin', 
 an' she lahf and holluh, an' den he call one o' he 
 chillun an' tell dat chile sufiEin', an' de chile he 
 done run off fas' in de woods one way, an' de 
 fadduh he run nudduh way. De chile he run to 
 de log whah de ol' bah snuggle her cubs, an' he 
 wake 'em up an' say : 
 
The Selfish Gobbler. 107 
 
 *' I know \vhah duh's a honey tree," he say. 
 "Come 'long an' he'p lick it." 
 
 One cub he say no, but udduh one he say he 
 go, an' he do. De fadduh coon he run to whah 
 de or tuckey's wife bean settin' on de nes'. 01' 
 gobbluh he dah, too, an' he des' gwan to plink 
 heseff on ]Mahs' Coon an' joggle him, w'en de 
 coon he hoi' up he ban's an' tell de gobbluh w'at 
 de ol' bah gwan to do to him, an' how he done 
 gwan tu'n de tables on huh. De gobbluh he des' 
 dance, he so tickle, an' he wife she snickuh a 
 pow'ful lot, an' dey bofe go long wiv de coon to 
 see de fun. Dey git to de tahp'ntine tree an' 
 des' hide, w'en 'long come de coon's chile an' de 
 bah's cub. De weeked vouno: coon he show he 
 little cousin de juice on de tree, an' tell him to 
 lick de honey. De po' little bah he step up 
 mighty peauht, an' sink down in de hole an' dah 
 he stick. He wiggle an' squeal an' try to pull 
 heseff out, but he fas' dah as if he grow dah. An' 
 de coons an' de tuckies dey des' lahf an' holluh. 
 Bahmby de coon he say : 
 
 " Sh-h-h ! Dah comes de ol' bah, layin' her 
 aco'n trail ! " 
 
 Den dey all shet dey moufs an' keep still as 
 moles. De ol' bah she come 'long, drappin' huh 
 
io8 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 aco'ns, an' w'en she got to de tree an' see luih 
 chile cotch in de trap she sot fo' de gobbkih, she 
 mos' drap sheseff. Den de tuckies dey fly up on 
 a limb an' hoUuh at de ol' bah, an' lahf an' 
 chuckle at huh till she des' natch'ly mos' go crazy, 
 she so mad, an^ she yank an' tug at de cub till 
 she git him out de hole, cuff he eahs good, an' 
 snick wiv him 'way in de woods. De tuckies lahf 
 an' holluh so much dey doan' notice dat Mahs' 
 Coon he ain't dah no mo ; an' dey stahtfo' home 
 tickled mos' to deff. W'en dey gits home de 
 gobbluh's wife she go to squat on de nest, but 
 she des' give one yell, suh, an' tumble ovuh daid ! 
 De aigs done gone, suh ! De gobbluh's wife's haht 
 des' broke, suh, an' she die daid ! De ol' gob- 
 bluh, w'en he see de nest empty an' he wife daid, 
 he des' butt he haid wiv all he might ag'in a big 
 gum tree, an* fall down by he wife's coccus ! An' 
 de weeked IMahs^ an' Missus Coon dey snug in 
 dey holluh tree, snick'in' an' snick'in', 'kaze 
 dey got the aigs ! 
 
 De ol' bah, w'en she git to de log an' chuck 
 huh cub in, she so pow'ful mad she staht out to 
 git even wiv de tuckey gobbluh, wevvuh or no. 
 She slosh right along fo' he home, an' git dah 
 des' as de ol' gobbluh he floppin' on degroun'. 
 
The Selfish Gobbler. 109 
 
 " Ho ! ho ! Mahs' Gobbluh ! " de ol' bah 
 chuckle. " I reckon I des' natch'ly teck de title 
 to dat plahntation o' yo'n now, suh ! " 
 
 An' he chomp de ol' gobbluh's haid clean 
 off, suh, an' had tuckey fo' suppuh, anyhow. 
 
A VANISHED HEAP OF GOLD. 
 
A VANISHED HEAP OF GOLD. 
 
 How Mahs' McKeever's Gallant Father, as the 
 Black Homer Recalls It, Lost Untold Riches 
 and a Bride Through the Amazing Conduct of 
 a Passing Cloud. 
 
 How high yo' reckon dem dah clouds bean, up 
 yon, suh ? Mile or mile an' half? Huh! huh! 
 I reckon so. An' duh doan' bean nuffin' de- 
 ceivin'some 'bout 'em, neiduh. An' duh doan' 
 bean t'ick an' heavy. Any one kin see dat dem 
 bean clouds, easy 'nough. It bean pow'ful mis- 
 fo'tunous fo' Mahs' McKeevuh dat dey doan 
 have setch clouds lack dem down in dat Mexico 
 kentry. Pow'ful misfo'tunous, suh ! Mahs' 
 IMcKeevuh he mowt bean de monst'uses' riches' 
 man in No'th C'lina, suh, if he fadduh doan' 
 tu'n to an' lose a heap o" gold down in dat 
 IMexico kentry, one time dune de wah we done 
 have wiv dem Mexicos. But ■Mahs' McKeevuh 
 8 113 
 
114 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 he nevuh do 'peah to keeuh 'bout it one teeny 
 mite, suh, an' he only des' laugh an' snickuh 
 w'en he done tell 'bout it, lack it bean des' nuf- 
 fin' but a pow'ful good joke. I nevuh do see de 
 lacks o' dat man, suh ! He wun'ful ! How fuh 
 yo' spec' dat Mexico kentry done bean, suh? 
 'Spec' it bean fuh as de Peedee kentry ? What ! 
 Fudduh dan dat yit ? Mighty Gabr'el ! Whew ! 
 Dat des' natch'ly mos' knock me breffless ! Fud- 
 duh yit dan de Peedee kentry ! Why, man, dat 
 mus' be mos' to de udduh aind de wul' ! Sho ! 
 Dat done squinch me fo' sahtin', suh ! Yeahs 
 an' yeahs I bean t'inkin' miaybe I go down to 
 dat Mexico kentry some day an' skrimmidge 
 roun' dah, an' maybe I bean peeuht enough to 
 fine dat heap o' gold w'at Mahs' McKeevuh's 
 fadduh done lose. Jicketty ! Den I kin come 
 back hyuh an' be des' natch'ly de skiluriouses' 
 citizen in de hull piney woods ! But now duh 
 ain' no use. Dat Mexico kentry bean too dis- 
 tantatious fo' me. Fudduh yit dan de Peedee 
 kentry ! Whew ! Why, dat mus' be mos' to de 
 udduh aind o' de wul, suh ! 
 
 I done spec' fum all de mighty tings I heah 
 my ol' mammy an' Mahs' McKeevuh tell about 
 him, Mahs' McKeevuh's faddah mus' bean de 
 
A Vanished Heap of Gold. 115 
 
 fightines' man w'at evuh stomp he feet an 
 holluh. If duh doan' be no wah an' bloodshed 
 w'at he kin git he hand in, den it 'peahs lack he 
 des pine an' pine, an' declah de wuT it ain' no 
 kyine a place to live in nohow. One day, time 
 I bean des' a pickaninny, I say to my ol' mammy : 
 
 " i\Iahs' IMcKeevuh's fadduh he mus' bean a 
 mighty sojuh man, mammy." 
 
 " Sojuh man ! " my ol' mammy she say. " Why 
 he doan' nevuh bean a sojuh man ! He bean a 
 Majuh in de ahmy, chile, an' rode a hoss ! 
 Sojuhs dey doan' hef to ride a hoss ! Dem 
 mans on hossback, dey ain't sojuhs. Dey bean 
 Gen "Is an' Gunnels an' ]\Iajuhs. Sojuhs dey 
 doan' haf to ride hossback, chile, riskin' dey life 
 by de hoss r'arin' an' frowin' 'em off an' steppin' 
 on 'em an' breckin' dey bones. Sho ! Sojuhs 
 dey des' walks de groun', an' dey doan' haf to do 
 nuftin' only des' tote a nice shiny gun, an' a 
 monst'ous big wahm blanket, an' a right smaht 
 o' kittles an' tin cups, an' a box strap to dey 
 shoulduhs, des' to kip dey balance so dey kin 
 tromp easy. Bress yo' haht, chile," my ol' 
 mammy she say, '* dem dah mans on hossback 
 dey haf to sleep nights in hot tents, dey do, 
 w'ile de sojuh he kin mahch up and down, up an' 
 
ii6 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 down, right in front o' dem dah tents, all de 
 night long, whah he kin breave de fraish aiuh o' 
 heaven, an' see de stahs twinkle an' twankle in 
 de sky, an' heah de owls an' de tree toads sing, 
 an'des'joy heseff de pow'fulles* kyine. INIahs' 
 IMcKeevuh's fadduh bean a Majuh in de ahmy, 
 chile," my ol' mammy she say. '' He doan' bean 
 no sojuh ! " 
 
 But he bean a mighty fightin* man, an' time 
 dat w^ah wiv dem dah Mexicos it kim alons:, 
 Tvlahs McKeevuh's fadduh he 'des' stomp an' 
 holluh, he so pow'ful tickled, an' he scrumble on 
 he hoss an' dash away to dat Mexico kentry to 
 cut an' slash and dye heseff red wiv blood, an' 
 dat wun'ful man bean mo'n sixty yeah ol', suh ! 
 Jicketty ! 'Peahs lack I dreamin', time my ol' 
 mammy done tell me dat. But he done dash 
 away to Mexico an' he fowt an' fowt. I heah 
 my ol' mammy say dat dem Mexicos dey bean 
 de coldes' blooded folks in de hull wul', an' 
 I spec' Mahs' McKeevuh's fadduh stan' knee 
 deep in dey blood so long dat he cotch he deff 
 o' cold, kaze he kim back home mighty po'ly, 
 an' bimeby he done die. But he have time to 
 tell 'em 'bout de tings he done do down dah, an', 
 jicketty ! wat mighty tings dey bean ! Dey des' 
 
A Vanished Heap of Gold, 117 
 
 natcli'ly meek yo' haiuh stan' straight on yo' 
 haid lack a po'eupine's fedduhs, suh ! An' he 
 done tell 'em dis hyuh 'bout how he lose dat 
 heap o' gold. 
 
 " 'Peahs lack dat Mahs' McKeevuh's fadduh 
 bean cuttin' and slashin' down dah, an' he fine 
 heseff in a place whah duh bean mountains an' 
 mountains, an' mountains dat rise mos' lack de 
 walls of a house, suh, dey bean so steep, an' 
 mountains dat poke dey haids clean froo de 
 clouds, suh, dey bean so high, an' he kin see 
 eagles flyin' 'roun', 'way up dah, whah dey have 
 dey nests. An' he fine heaps o' Mexico gals dah 
 w'at he do declah bean han'some as pictuhs. 
 
 Dem dah gals, he say, dey look attuh flocks 
 o' sheep, an' w'at yo' t'ink, suh ? Mahs' McKee- 
 vuh's fadduh he done tumble haid ovuh heels in 
 love wiv one o' dem gals ! Yes, suh ! Ef he do 
 be a mighty fightuh, an' boun' to cut an' slash, 
 he have a tenduh spot somewhah in he haht, 
 suh. Yes, suh ! Mahs' McKeevuh's fadduh he 
 done tumble haid ovuh heels in love wiv dat 
 Mexico gal. Mind yo', suh, Mahs' McKeevuh's 
 fadduh done bean a wid'wuh. Oh, yes ! An' 
 dat dah Mexico gal she tickled 'mos" to deff an' 
 tu'n to an' tumble in love wiv Mahs' McKeevuh's 
 
ii8 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 fadduh, too, so she do declah. All de time 
 w'en he doan' be out cuttin' an' slashin', Mahs' 
 McKeevuh's fadduh be settin' down unduh de 
 trees whah dat dah IMexico gal she watch huh 
 sheep, so de eagles dey woan' swoop down an' 
 tote de lambs to dey nests, 'way up in de moun- 
 tains, 'bove de clouds. One day she p'int to de 
 top o' one o' dem monst'us high mountains an' 
 she tell Mahs' JMcKeevuh's fadduh dat one time, 
 long, long befo' huh gran'fadduh bean bo'n, suh, 
 a king have he hidin' place up dah, an' dat he 
 done kivuh up tons an' tons o* gold up dah, an' 
 all dat gold it done lie hid up dah yit, des' fo' any 
 one dat bean peeuht enough to climb de moun- 
 tain an' git it. Mahs' JMcKeevuh's fadduh he 
 glim he eye up de side o' dat mountain an' see it 
 liftin' it haid "bove dem clouds, mo'n a mile away, 
 an' he declah to de gal dat he wouldn't dig he 
 way up dah not fo' all de gold duh bean in de 
 wide wul'. 
 
 " Anyhow," he say to dat dah Mexico gal, " yo' 
 done bean all de traizhuh I want ! ' he sa}^, " Yo' 
 wuff mo' to me dan any gold mine kin evuh be ! " 
 he say. 
 
 Doan' dat des' about kill yo', suh? Do yo' 
 evuh heah de lacks o' dat ? An' it des' tickle 
 
A Vanished Heap of Gold. 119 
 
 dat dah IMexicogal mos' to deff, so she gitkyine 
 o' keeuhless watchin' de sheep, an' fus' ting she 
 know, swoo-o-o-sh ! down drap an eagle fum de 
 sky an' gobble a nice fat lamb, an' swimpuh 'way 
 wiv it to'ds de mountain top, des' as ea-e-e-e-e- 
 sy ! An' dat lamb bean dat i\Iexico gal's pet 
 lamb, w'at she so pow'fulfon' of dat it des' breck 
 huh haht w'en she see de eagle swimpuh'n up, 
 up, up wiv it to'ds he home on de mountain top, 
 an' she des' scream an' holluh, an' scream an' 
 holluh, an' declah she die, she know she do, ef 
 she doan' git dat lamb back fum dat monst'us 
 eagle. Mahs' McKeevuh's fadduh he fold dat 
 gal in he ahms an' he cheeuh huh up an' he say : 
 
 " I git yo' dat dah lamb back I " he say. " I 
 done chase dat eagle to he nest an' squabble him 
 till he tongue hang out," Mahs' McKeevuh's 
 fadduh he sav. 
 
 Den he grit he teef, an' snatch he swo'd an' 
 dash to de mountain to climb it to de easfle's 
 nest, an' winch dat lamb away an' squabble de 
 monst'us robbuh till he tongue hang ont. An' 
 w'at yo' tink, suh ? Dat dah mountain bean de 
 same mountain w'at have de king's heap o' gold 
 hid in it, 'way up dah 'bove de clouds, an' wat 
 Mahs' McKeevuh's fadduh do declah he nevuh 
 
120 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 will dig he way up, not fo' all de gold in de hull 
 wide wul' ! Jicketty ! ' An' dah he des going to 
 cut an' slash he way up dat steep mountain, des' 
 to git back dat Mexico gal's pet lamb. Did yo' 
 evuh, suh ? Did — yo' — evuh ? Des' ef it doan' 
 be no mo' to climb 'way 'bove de clouds an' cotch 
 an eagle, suh, dun it bean to co'nuh a chicken in 
 de bahnyard an' gevvuh it in I 
 
 Up an' up dat mountain dat wun'ful man cut 
 an' slash he way, ovuh de mighty rocks, an' 'cross 
 de monst'us gulleys w'at gap dey black moufs to 
 gollup him down dey froats, chasin' dat dah 
 eagle. De eagle it ritch de clouds an' punch an' 
 winch its way froo, till ]\Iahs' INIcKeevuh's fad- 
 duh he cain' see it no mo', but he cut an' slash 
 an' dig up on dat eagle's trail. An' bahs dey 
 woosh out o' dey dens an' gruzzle at him, an' 
 resh to kill him ; an' panthuhs dey drap down 
 fum de tree-tops an' scrunch at he froat ; an' 
 M'olves dey yell an' sniff an' toggle at he heels, 
 but Mahs' McKeevuh's fadduh he des' cut an' 
 slash wiv he trusty swo'd, an' plunge it froo a 
 bah's haht dis a-way, an' slosh a panthuh's win'- 
 pipe dat a-way, an' slit a wolf open hyuh, an' slit 
 'nudduh wolf open dah, an' skit 'nudduh wolf 
 open yon, till dem feeuce wile beases dey glim- 
 
A Vanished Heap of Gold. 121 
 
 muh an' dey gruzzle, and dey weevuh an' dey 
 wavuh, an' dey wunnuh w'at dis hyuh pow'ful 
 t'ing it be w'at cut an' slash an' scattuh em to de 
 winds an' sen' dey blood reshin' down dat dah 
 mountain lack a flood ! 
 
 Up an' up dat mountain Mahs' McKeevuh's 
 fadduh cut an' slash he way, scattuh'n he paff 
 v/iv bah an' panthuh an' wolves, till bahmby he 
 ritch de clouds. He nevuh did see setch clouds 
 lack dem. Dey bean so monst'us heavy an' 
 hahd dat he cain' do nuffin' but cut he way froo 
 'em wiv he swo'd — chip, chop, chip, chop, des' 
 lack he nogglin' a gum tree wiv a ax w'at ain' got 
 no aidge on it. Jicketty ! w'at a desp'rit time 
 Mahs' McKeevuh's fadduh do have, chippin' 
 an' choppin' he way froo dem deh clouds ! 
 Doan' he know dat Mexico gal's lamb bean 
 down de froats o' dat eagle's fambly long befo' 
 dis ? He spec' maybe dat bean so, but he boun' 
 to fine out, an' squabble de eagle anyhow and all 
 he fambly. 
 
 Bahmeby, l^.Iahs' McKeevuh's fadduh he done 
 git a hole chop froo dat dah cloud, an' he pull 
 heseff up an' fine heseff mos' to de haid o' dat 
 mountain. He cut an' slash he way on up, an' 
 dah on de very tip-top he see a ol' daid tree, an' 
 
122 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 on dat tree sot de eagle. Squah at de foot o' 
 dat daid tree dah lie de lamb ! De eagle ain' 
 kill an' eat dat lamb yit, suh, but des' roostin' 
 dah gloatin' oviih it, an' waitin' fo' he mate to 
 git dah 'fo' dey fall to andsquench it. ]\Iahs' Mc- 
 Keevuh's fadduh he resh up to'ds de tree. De 
 tree it sot up on a ledge, an' de eagle it 'skivvuh 
 him an' swoop down at him lack it t'ink it done 
 gwan to wipe him from de face o' de Ian' wiv 
 one resh. But INIahs' McKeevuh's fadduh's 
 tresty swo'd it flash in de sun, an' glide froo dat 
 eagle fum he wizzen to he tail, an' dat eagle 
 nevuh did know w'at lamb done tase like ag'in. 
 Den Mahs' McKeevuh's fadduh he 'gin to 
 scrumble up dat ledge to git de lamb. He grab 
 a bush to help him rise, w'en, bim ! de bush it 
 pull out, an' de rocks dey 'gin to fall, an' ]\Iahs' 
 McKeevuh's fadduh he have to jomp, I tell 
 yo', suh, or he bean kivuh wiv 'em lack de babes 
 in de woods ! An' w'at yo' t'ink he see den ? 
 Dah, in de led^^e, stan' a pow'ful big hole, an' 
 dat hole it bean piled des' as full o' gold, suh, as 
 it kin be crammed in dah ! Um-m-m — um ! How 
 dat hole bean jammed an' crammed an' slammed 
 wiv gold ! 
 
 "Huh! "Mahs' McKeevuh's fadduh he say. 
 
A Vanished Heap of Gold. 123 
 
 " Ef dah ain' dat ol' misuh king's traizhuh, sho's 
 I bo'n ! I reckon it's done gwan to be mine 
 attuh dis hyuh ! " he say. 
 
 De Mexico gal's pet lamb it dim' down an' 
 jine Mails' McKeevuh's fadduh, an' bean des' 
 tickle to deff. Mahs' McKeevuh's fadduh he 
 mighty tahd, an' so he t'ink he lie down an' teck 
 a nap 'fo' he load heseff up wiv gold, an' he 
 stretch heseff down on de aidge of a big rock 
 w'at lie on de face o' de mountain. He nevuh 
 did know, suh, how long he sleep, but w'en he 
 week up an' stretch heseff an' rub he eyes an' 
 look 'roun' to teck a look at de hole whah de 
 gold bean jammed an' crammed, sho ! dey ain' 
 no hole dah ! He look dis a-way, dat a-way, an' 
 he 'skivvuh dat he ain' on de mountain w'at he 
 done cut an' slash he way up, an' he cain' tell 
 w'at mountain he done bean on. De lamb, dah 
 it bean lyin' by he side, but \vhah de big rock 
 w'at dey done lie on ? Mahs' McKeevuh's fad- 
 duh look roun', an' dah he see dat big rock 
 standin' out in de aiuh mo'n fifty yahds away, 
 an' a floatin' on fudduh an' fudduh. W'at yo' 
 t'ink, suh ? De big rock w'at Mahs' McKeevuh's 
 fadduh an' de lamb lie down to teck a nap on it 
 doan' bean no rock at all, suh. It bean a de- 
 
124 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 ceivin'some cloud, an' it done float an' float 
 away, an' some time Ian' 'em on 'nudduh moun- 
 tain, whah dey week up ! Ain' dat monst'us ? 
 'Peahs lack I nevuh do heah nuffin' so monst'us 
 as dat ! 
 
 But Mahs' McKeevuh's fadduh he doan' stay 
 dah an' moan. He got de lamb, anyhow, an' he 
 staht down dat mountain to fine he way back to 
 whah dat Mexico gal Hve, an' meek huh happy. 
 But 'p'eahs lack dey bean toted on dat dah cloud 
 a heap o' miles fum dah, an' Mahs' McKeevuh's 
 fadduh nevuh do fine he's way back fo' mo'n two 
 weeks, suh. When he git dah at las' he skittuh 
 to whah dat Mexico gal watch huh sheep. She 
 doan' be dah. 
 
 " Whah she is ? " Mahs' McKeevuh say to huh 
 mammy. 
 
 "Oh, she done git mah'd yiste'day,'' huh 
 mammy say, " an' go to 'nudduh paht de kentry, 
 suh ! " 
 
 Mahs' McKeevuh's fadduh he swah till he do 
 declah de kentry roun' dah smell pow'ful wdv 
 sulphuh, an' den he resh out froo de kentry ag'in 
 an' cut an' slash an' stan knee deep in dat col' 
 Mexico blood till de wah bean ovuh. Den he 
 kim home an' bahmby he die. It bean mighty 
 
A Vanished Heap of Gold. 125 
 
 misfo'tunous fo' Mahs' McKeevuh, suh, dat dey 
 doan' have setch clouds lack dem up yon down 
 in dat Mexico kentry, 'kase den he fadduh woan' 
 lose dat heap o' gold, an' Mahs' McKeevuh 
 bean de riches' man in No'th C'lina, suh. 
 
 Fudduh yit dan de Peedee kentry, huh ? 
 Mighty Gabr'el ! Dat mus' be mos' to de ud- 
 duh aind de wul', suh ! 
 
THE JUG OF LIVE-FOREVER 
 
 WATER. 
 
THE JUG OF LIVE-FOREVER 
 WATER. 
 
 How i\Iahs' McKeever's Father's Grandfather 
 Got it From a Thousand-year-old Indian, and 
 How its Virtues Escaped Him and Passed to a 
 Decrepit Mule that Now Roams the Earth, a 
 Never-Dying Methuselah Among Mules. 
 
 "I RECKON- yo' been scrimmidgin' 'round de 
 kentry, heah an' dah an' yon, a right smaht o' yo' 
 time, suh ? " said the Black Homer. 
 
 The Northern man replied that he traveled 
 about quite a bit ; yes. 
 
 " Den I bet yo' mus' a-see somewhah dat 
 
 evuh-livin' mule o' Mahs' ]\IcKeevuh's, sho'ly ! 
 
 I ain' nevuh see dat mule my ownseff not fo' 
 
 mos' fo'ty yeahs, but he boun' to have de same 
 
 swuUin' on he jaw, an' de same tail rubbed off 
 
 so nigh he hams dat it ain' no bigguh dan a 
 
 nickel's wuff o' twis' plug tobacco, an' de same 
 9 ^29 
 
130 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 string halt in he off hine laig. But he woan' look 
 a minute olduh, suh, 'kaze he cain't look no 
 olduh, but he look so aged dat ef yo' see him I 
 bet yo' des' up an' declah, suh, dat he a twin 
 brudduh to de mule dat Balaam bean ridin' time 
 it s'prise him by speakin' to de angel ! Co'se 
 yo' done see dat mule somewhah in yo' scrim- 
 midgin' 'bout de kentry, suh ? " 
 
 The Northern man said he had never seen the 
 mule. 
 
 " Dat monst'us queeuh ! " exclaimed the Black 
 Homer of Jimtown. '' It bean mos' fo'ty yeahs 
 sence I sot eyes on dat dah mule my ownseff, 
 but he boun' to be wand'n' on de face o' de Ian' 
 somewhah, suh ! He cain t help heself ! Mighty 
 queeuh yo' hain' nevuh see dat mule in yo' 
 scrimmidgin'." 
 
 But the Northern man insisted that he hadn't 
 seen the mule, nevertheless. The Black Homer 
 mused again, and by and by said : 
 
 " I weesh yo' only done bean down yon in de 
 Cape Fair kentry 'fo' de wah, suh. Den yo' kin 
 know Mahs' McKeevuh, an' heah him talk 
 'bout tings. Jicketty ! He bean de mos' wun- 
 ful man w'at evuh do live, 'peahs to me I But 
 co'se he cain't help dat, 'kase he fadduh an' he 
 
The Jug of Live- Forever Water. 131 
 
 gran'faddiih an' he fadduh's gran'fadduh dey all 
 bean monst'us wun'ful folks, too." 
 
 The Black Homer of Jimtown paused and 
 mused again. Then he said : 
 
 " Ef it doan' be fo' de man w'at own datevuh- 
 livin' mule, suh, ]\Iahs' ^IcKeevuh's fadduh's 
 gran'fadduh an' gran'mudduh dey bofe be livin' 
 to dis hyuh day, chippuh an' peeuht as goo- 
 buhs, so dey would, an' dat w^and'n' mule he 
 be daid dis hyuh hund'd an' fifty yeahs an' 
 mo ! 
 
 There must have been a look on the North- 
 erner's face that the Black Homer interpreted to 
 the disadvantap:e of his amazino; statement, for 
 he said quickly : 
 
 " Yo' reckon dat bean mighty queeuh, huh? 
 Well, suh, Mahs' McKeevuh done say dat, an' 
 Mahs' McKeevuh's fadduh he done say it, an' 
 my ol' mammy she done say it ! Now w'at yo' 
 gwan to, reckon 'bout it, suh, attuh dat?" 
 
 The Northern man declared that he had no 
 idea of reckoning anything at all about it, after 
 that citing of authorities, and the Black Homer 
 nodded his head decisively and said : 
 
 " Dat des' w'at I done reckon yo' gwan to 
 reckon, suh ! " 
 
132 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 Then he looked up at the clouds awhile, and 
 by and by continued : 
 
 "1 spec' I bettuh tell yo' 'bout dat, suh, des' 
 to clarify yo' mind, an' den I bet yo' weesh yo' 
 ownseff dat yo' done been down yon in de Cape 
 Fair kentry befo' de wah. Long time befo' de 
 wah it 'peahs to me lack dat mule been old 
 enough to die long ago, an' I say to Mahs' Mc- 
 Keevuh : 
 
 " ' Mahs' INIcKeevuh,' I say, ' waffo' dat dah 
 mule livin' ? ' 
 
 " Mahs' McKeevuh he cock he eye down at 
 me an' he grin an' he say : 
 
 " ' Dat dah mule livin',' he say, ' 'kaze he cain't 
 he'p heseff ! Ask yo' mammy 'bout dat dah 
 mule,' he say, and Mahs' McKeevuh he grin 
 pow'ful. 
 
 " Den I done ask my ol' mammy, an' w'at yo' 
 tink? I fin' out dat de mule kim to de Cape 
 Fair kentry 'long wiv Mahs' McKeevuh's fad- 
 duh's gran'fadduh, suh ! An' I fine out dat ef it 
 doan' be fo' de man w'at fust own dat mule den 
 Mah's McKeevuh's fadduh's gran'fadduh an' 
 gran'mudduh dey done bean livin' to dis hyuh 
 day, suh, an' dat wand'n' mule o' mine it done bean 
 daid dis hyuh hund'd an' fifty yeahs or mo' ! 
 
The Jug of Live-Forever Water. 133 
 
 " Maybe yo' mowt heah befo' dis, suh, 'bout 
 folks dat bean hiintin', yeahs an' yeahs an' yeahs 
 ago, to fine a spring 'way down in Flah'dy some- 
 whah, an' dat spring it boun' to meek 'em live 
 fo'evuh ef dey des' git a sup o' de wahtuh outen 
 it, but dey nevuh kin fin' it, an' de Injins done 
 kill all of 'em w'at doan' die wiv de chills an' 
 fevuh ? ;Maybe yo' mowt heah o' dat befo' 
 dis, suh ?" 
 
 The Northern man said he had heard of the 
 search for such a fabled fountain of youth. 
 
 " Huh ! huh ! Co'se yo' have ! An' I bet yo' 
 ef yo' only des' tink desp'rut hahd, suh, yo' kin 
 'membuh dat yo' done see dat dah wand'n' mule 
 somewhah in yo' scrimmidgin' ! Cain' do dat, 
 huh ? Dat's pow^'f ul queeuh ! Pow'f ul queeuh, 
 suh ! I\Iahs' ]McKeevuh's fadduh's gran'fadduh 
 he doan' be down dah in Flah'dy, huntin' fo' . 
 dat wun'ful spring, but he des' down dah spyin' 
 round to see waffo' kyine o' Ian' duh been dah, 
 'kaze maybe he mowt skittuh 'way fum de Cape 
 Fair kentry an' go down dah ef de Ian' it bean 
 mo' promisin'. He spyin' an' spyin' roun', an' 
 one day a monst'us big Injin man he done step 
 outen de bresh squah in front o' Mahs' ]McKee- 
 vuh's fadduh's gran'fadduh, an' de ol' man he 
 
134 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 des' natch'ly mos' skeeuht nigh to deff. But de 
 Injin man he doan' resh on Mahs' McKeevuh's 
 fadduh's gran'fadduh, an' swosh he sca'p off he 
 haid, lack de ol' man done reckon he gwan to 
 do, but he stan' up straight befo' de ol' man, 
 biff heseff two, free times on he chis' wiv he 
 han' an' say : 
 
 " ' How ol' yo' reckon I done bean, suh ? ' 
 
 "Mahs' McKeevuh's fadduh's gran'fadduh 
 he tink he see a chance to tickle de Injin man, 
 an' he say : 
 
 " ' I reckon yo' bean quite a heap shy o' fo'ty- 
 two, suh.' 
 
 " ' Puh ! ' de Injin man he say. * I bean nine 
 hund'd an' fo'ty-seven yeahs an' free months ol', 
 an' I ain' hahdly staht in to live yit ! ' he say. 
 
 " Den dat minute Mahs' McKeevuh's fadduh's 
 gran'fadduh he know w'at. Dat Injin man done 
 diskivvuh dat wun'ful spring mos' a t'ousan 
 yeahs befo' an' sup its wahtuh, an' dah he bean, 
 standin' dah old as Met'uslum, suh ! Jicketty ! 
 Des' tink o' dat, suh ! Mahs' McKeevuh's fad- 
 duh's gran'fadduh he mos' drap froo de groun', 
 an' befo' he kin say anyt'ing de Injin man he 
 say : 
 
 " ' Yo' got a wife, I reckon, suh ? ' 
 
The Jug of Live- Forever Water. 135 
 
 " De oV man he say yes ; he got a wife. 
 
 " ' Den co'se yo' doan' want to live fo'evuh ! * 
 de Injin man he say, an' he tu'n to skittuh 'way 
 froo de bresh. But INIahs' McKeevuh's faddiih's 
 gran'fadduh he holluh to de Injin man to stop, 
 'kaze he done 'spec' he kin cunjur de Injin man 
 to show him dat spring, so he kin sup dat wat- 
 tuh he ownseff. De Injin he say : 
 
 " ' I bean nine hund'd an' fo'ty-seven yeahs 
 an' free months ol',' he say, * an' I ain' hahdiy 
 staht in to live yit ! I des' pinin' to die an' I 
 cain't, 'kaze I sup frum de wun'ful spring, and I 
 done live fo'evuh. Fo' nine hund'd an' fo'ty- 
 seven yeahs,' he say, '1 bean happy as de 
 boundin' fawn, suh, but fo' de free months des' 
 done gone, I bean mis'able as de smoked coon 
 in de hollow tree, suh, an' I pinin' to die ! Waf- 
 fo' I pinin' to die ? 'Kaze free months ago I 
 done teck a wife, suh ! I shaiuh my wigwum 
 wiv' a squaw, an' now I pinin' to die ! Ef I 
 doan' only be setch a ramificatin' mutton head,' 
 de Injin man say, ' dat I done go an' giv dat 
 squaw o^ mine a sup o' de fountain o' life too, 
 den I kin stan' it; but dah she bean, suh ! She 
 drink de wahtuh, an' now she nevuh kin die, 
 neiduh ! I pinin' to die, but I cain't, 'less I teck 
 
136 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 an' show dat spring's hidin' place. Co'se yo' 
 doan' want to know dat, suh, 'kaze yo' done got 
 a wife yo'seff, an' co'se den yo' doan' want to 
 live fo'evuh ! ' de Injin man he say, an' he look 
 pow'ful cast down. 
 
 " ' Des' yo' pause a speck, suh ! ' Mahs' IMc- 
 Keevuh's fadduh's gran'fadduh, he say. ' Ef 
 yo' pinin to die, show me de wun'ful spring, suh, 
 an' tu'n up yo' toes an' die ! ' 
 
 " De Injin man he des' cry fo' joy, an' he kiss 
 de ol' man's han's. Den he skittuh 'way in de 
 bresh an' kim back wiv a big jug. He say to de 
 ol' man to follow him, an' de ol' man follow him. 
 Bahmby dey kim to de place whah de wun'ful 
 spring it lie hid, an' de Injin man he p'int it out 
 to Mahs' McKeevuh's fadduh's gran'fadduh. 
 
 " ' He'p yo'seff ! ' de Injin man he say, ' an' I 
 t'ousan' times 'bliged to yo', suh ! ' he say. 
 
 "Den he give a quivuh, an' den he give a 
 quavuh. Den he shivuh lack a tree des' gwan to 
 fall. Den he tumble to de groun', an' dah he lie 
 daid, suh, wiv a smile on he face lack he nevuh 
 kin be so happy ef he des' kim in from teckin' a 
 heap o' sca'ps, suh ! Den see w'at Mahs' Mc- 
 Keevuh's fadduh's gran'fadduh he done do ! 
 He ain' gwan to be seffish 'nough, suh, to des' 
 
The Jug of Live-Forever Water. 137 
 
 lie dah an' sup dat live-fo'evuh wahtuh all by he 
 ownseff, an' he des' natch'ly fill dejugwivit, 
 co'k it up, an' staht fo' de Cape Fair kentry to 
 shaiuh dat wahtuh wiv he folks, so dey kin all 
 live fo'evuh, suh ! 
 
 " Attuh while de ol' man he git to de Cape 
 Fair kentry wiv he jug o' live-fo'evuh wahtuh. 
 He been monst'us tahd, an' he lie down in de 
 shade to res' heseff, an' he done drap soun' 
 asleep. Bahmby long kim a man ridin' a mule 
 wiv a big swuUin' on he jaw, an' a tail w'at been 
 rub off so nigh to he hams dat it look des' lack 
 a nickel's wuff o' twis' plug tobacco, an' wiv a 
 string halt in he off hind laig. De man on de 
 mule he 'skivvuh de man w'at soun' asleep in de 
 shade, wiv de jug by he side. 
 
 '"'Peahs lack dat dah jug bean mighty spi- 
 cious-lookinV de man on de mule he say. ' I 
 bet yo* duh bean co'n juice in dat dah jug ! ' an' 
 de man he stop he mule an' crip off he back sly 
 as a fox, an' snick up an' lif dat jug. 
 
 " Mahs' McKeevuh's fadduh's gran'fadduh he 
 doan' week up, but he scrudgel a mite, lack he 
 feel suffin' ain' des' right. De man he done snip 
 de co'k outen de jug an' sniff it. Dat doan' des' 
 'peah lack it gwan to he'p him on he junny wiv 
 
138 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 a heap of joy, an' he tase o' de jug. He sput 
 out w'at he teck in he mouf, an' he look skeeuht. 
 
 " ' Jicketty ! ' he say. ' It bean wahtuh, an' I 
 mos' swallow some ! I reckon I bettuh wathuh de 
 ol' mule wiv it,' he say, ' 'kaze he bean dryuh 'n a 
 powduh ho'n ! ' 
 
 " He teck off de ol' wahtuh'n bucket w'at jag- 
 gle fum de mule's sussingle, an' he tu'n all dat 
 live-fo'evuh wahtuh outen de jug into de bucket, 
 an' dah dat mule des' lay to an' swig it, suh, to 
 de las' drap ! Ain' dat monst'us ? Did yo' evuh 
 heah any mo'tal t'ing lack dat, suh ? " 
 
 The Northern man never had. 
 
 " But des' den Mahs' McKeevuh's fadduh's 
 gran'fadduh done week up. He 'skivvuh he jug 
 gone. Den he 'skivvuh de man an' de mule an' 
 de wathuh bucket. Den he know'd w'at, an' he 
 rise up. Jicketty, how dat ol' man did rise up ! 
 An' he smite de man w'at own de mule hip an' 
 thigh, suh, till de man he resli away an^ disap- 
 peah, holdin' he haid lack de pain in it bean 
 monst'us. But w'at good dat gwan to do Mahs' 
 McKeevuh's fadduh's gran'fadduh > De live- 
 fo'evuh wathuh bean all gone, an' he nevuh kin 
 git it back. But he a wun'ful man, suh. Mighty 
 Gabr'el ! w'at a wun'ful man he bean ! 
 
The Jug of Live-Forever Water. 139 
 
 " ' Nevuh mind ! ' he say. * Ef we done drenk 
 dat wahtuh, co'se den we woan' nevuh git to 
 heaven, an' dat woan' do ! An' ef dat man doan' 
 feed it to he mule, den I woan' have no mule, 
 an' I have to walk home 'sted o' ridin', lack I 
 done gwan to do now ! ' he say. 
 
 " An' he mount the scruffy ol' mule an' ride de 
 res' o' de way home, whah dey all bean desp'rut 
 glad to see him. An' dah bean de mule ! Co'se, 
 he got de chahm o' dat wun'ful Flah'dy spring 
 in him, an' he des' keep on livin'. Mahs' Mc- 
 Keevuh's fadduh's gran'fadduh an' gran'mudduh 
 dey pass to de kingdom, but dat mule he des' 
 keep on livin'. 'Peahs lack he doan' keeuh 'bout 
 doin' it, but he cain't he'p heseff. De wah it kim 
 along an' Mahs' IMcKeevuh he go fo' a sojuh, 
 an' he teck de nevuh dyin' mule wiv him. He 
 kim back w'en de wah bean done, but de mule 
 he doan' come along. 
 
 " ' De Yankees dey done smuggle him 'way 
 fum us,' Mahs' McKeevuh say, an' massuh he 
 grin pow'ful, 'kaze I reckon he doan' keeuh. 
 
 '' So dat mule he des' wand'in' an' wand'in' 
 somewhah, sho'ly ; an' I des' weesh yo' only 
 bean down yon in de Cape Fair kentry befo' de 
 wah, suh, 'kaze den yo' kin heah Mahs' McKee- 
 
140 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 vuh tell yo' 'bout it, right fum de staht, suh. 
 But it bean mighty queeuh yo' ain' nevuh see dat 
 evuh-livin' mule somewhah in yo' scrimmidgin' 
 'bout de kentry, suh ! Mighty queeuh 1 " 
 
SAVED BY THE MAN IN THE 
 
 MOON. 
 
SAVED BY THE MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 He Was a Forgetful Man, More Forgetful Yet 
 than Uncle Camp who Cooked the 'Possum, or 
 He Would Not Have Been Chased up the North 
 Pole by the Hungry Polar Bear, So Mahs' Mc- 
 Keever Told the Black Homer's Old Mammy. 
 
 ^Peahs lack duh bean a right smaht snack c 
 folks dese hyuh days w'at doan' b'lieve duh bean 
 setch a t'ing as a man in de moon. W'at yo' 
 done reckon 'bout dat, suh ? Yo' doan' b'lieve 
 it neiduh ? Den I done 'spec', too, dat mebbe 
 yo' doubt dat a man evuh did climb de No'th 
 Pole, suh ? So yo' does, huh ? Not even ef de 
 man bean chase lack ol' hickory by a monst'us 
 big poluh bah, suh ? Sho ! Den yo' hain' nevuh 
 bean down in de Cape Fair kentry befo' de wah, 
 sahtin enough, suh ! Lack as not duh doan' 
 bean no man in de moon no mo' now, 'kaze de 
 wah done meek mighty changes wiv folks. But 
 
 143 
 
144 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 befo' de wah, suh, duh mus' bean a man in de 
 moon, sho'ly, an' duh mus' bean a man dim' de 
 No'th Pole, suh, 'kaze ol' Mahs' McKeevuh he 
 know de man w'at done do it, an' dat man done 
 sheck han's wiv de man in de moon, suh, 'kaze 
 Mahs' McKeevuh say de man done tell him so ! 
 Duh, suh ! How yo' gwan to git roun' dat, I 
 des lack to heah yo' tell me ! Huh, huh, honey ! 
 How yo' gwan to git roun' dat, suh ? Yo' ain' 
 gwan to try? Huh, huh! Dat a heap de 
 easiest way, suh ! A heap de easiest ! 'Kaze 
 yo' des' boun' to tiah yo'seif to death ef yo' 
 evuh do try to git 'roun' dat, suh. Mahs' 
 McKeevuh know de man w'at dim' de No'th 
 Pole, an' de man dat sheck han's wiv de 
 man in de moon, an' done tell INIahs' McKee- 
 vuh so. I wesh yo' been down in de Cape Fair 
 kentry befo' de wah, suh. Den yo' done heah 
 ail about it while it fraish. One night, time I 
 ain' been no bigguh'n a tucky buzzud, I settin' 
 on my ol' mammy's lap watchin' de moon scoot- 
 in' 'long in de sky lack it mighty skeeuht o' suf- 
 fin' w'at chasin' it, an' mammy des' been tellin' 
 me 'bout de man in de moon eatin' cabbage wiv 
 a spoon, w'en Mahs' McKeevuh he kirn 'long dah 
 by the cabin. 
 
Saved by the Man in the Moon. 145 
 
 " Rosybell," he say to my mammy, "how 
 yo' lack to sheck han's wiv de man in de 
 moon ? " 
 
 Mammy she shedduh so she mos' shedduh me 
 off huh lap, an' she holluh : "Mighty Gabr'el, 
 Mahs' jMcKeevuh ! Dat des' natch'ly 'mos' 
 skeeuh me cold ! Yo' spec' I want to be whushed 
 away and rolled along up dah 'mongst de clouds 
 wiv dat ol' man in de moon ? Sho ! I s'prised at 
 yo', suh ! " 
 
 Den ]Mahs' IMcKeevuh he snickuh an' snickuh, 
 an' say to my ol' mammy : 
 
 " Oh, de man in de moon, he doan' be setch 
 
 a scarifyin' creatuh. I know a man one time 
 
 w'at tell me he done sheck han's wiv him, an' 
 
 dat man ain' rollin' 'long up dah in de clouds 
 
 wiv him. No, suh ! 'Peahs lack dis hyuh man 
 
 he live way up No'th, an', so he done tell me, 
 
 he meek up his mind one day dat he t'ink he 
 
 bettuh go 'skivuh de No'th Pole. Heap o' folks 
 
 dey bean skittuh'n 'roun' tryin' to 'skivuh de 
 
 No'th Pole, an' dey cain't fine it, but dis hyuh 
 
 man he feel sahtin he kin 'skivuh it, an' so he 
 
 done staht out. But he bean pow'ful fo'gitful, 
 
 dis hyuh man bean. Pow'ful fo'gitful ! I reckon, 
 
 fum w'at he done tell me, dis hyuh man mus' 
 10 
 
146 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 bean de fo'gitfulles' creatuh w'at evuh breave de 
 breff o' life ! " 
 
 Den my ol' mammy she say : " T'ink he kin 
 be as fo'gitful as ol' Uncle Camp bean, suh ? " 
 
 Den Mahs' McKeevuh he snickuh an' snote 
 an' holluh, an' mammy she snickuh an' snote an' 
 holluh, an' I snickuh an' snote an' holluh, 'kaze 
 I know about ol' Uncle Camp, even ef I doan' 
 bean no bigguh'n a tuckey buzzud. Co'se yo' 
 done heah 'bout ol' Uncle Camp long 'fo' dis 
 time, suh? No? Sho ! Dat pow'ful queeuh ! De 
 whole kentry bean knowin' 'bout ol' Uncle Camp 
 mos' evuh sence it bean knowin' 'bout anyt'ing. 
 Befo' de wah Uncle Camp bean de pow'fules' 
 'possum huntuh of all de 'possum huntuhs 'long 
 de ol' Cape Fair, an' he monst'us fond o' 'possum 
 meat. Um-m-m — um ! how fond dat man bean o' 
 'possum ! He nevuh t'ink nuffin' o' clah'n de 
 meat offen de bones o' de fattes' 'possum w'at 
 evuh dim a gum tree, all alone by heseff, an' 
 den pitchin' in an' clah'n 'nudduh one des' as 
 big an' fat. One day Uncle Camp he go out in 
 de swamp to cotch a possum, fo' he gittin' 
 mighty 'possum hongry. 'Peahs lack 'possum dey 
 mighty skeeus dat day, an' Uncle Camp he tromp 
 an' tromp long, long time 'fo' he shin one up a 
 
Saved by the Man in the Moon. 147 
 
 tree. He cotch him an' fotch him home. Uncle 
 Camp he monst'us tiah'd, but he clean dat 'pos- 
 sum an' salt an' peppuh him down in de pot to 
 cook him, 'kaze he too hongry to fix him fo' to 
 bake wiv sweet 'tatuhs. Den Uncle Camp he lie 
 down on de flo' wiv he feet toads de fiah, an' 
 zip ! he done gone to sleep so quick he di'n 
 know it, an' sno' an' sno' an' sno', des' lack a ol' 
 bah growlin'. Uncle Camp he sleep mighty 
 tight, an' he doan' do heah dat boy Jum o' his'n 
 snick in de cabin. Jum he done have de devil 
 in him bigguh'n a fambly o' tame coons. He sot 
 down and waitch de 'possum simmuh in de pot, 
 an' sniff de smell of it till he mos' go crazy. 
 Uncle Camp he done keep sleepin' 'way lack a 
 run-out houn', an' de 'possum he done keep 
 a-cookin', an' Jum he done keep sniffin' an' 
 winchin' heseff roun' on he cheeuh lack he nigh 
 bustin' tryin' to hoi' heseff. Bahmby Jum he 
 t'ink dat 'possum smell lack it bean ready fo' to 
 chaw, an' he cain' hoi' heseff no mo', an' des' 
 natch'ly teck iC outen de pot. 
 
 " Po' ol' daddy he mighty tiah'd," Jum he say 
 to heseff. " Nappin' it bean pow'ful sight bettuh 
 fo' him dan 'possum. I des' let him have all de 
 nap he want an' put away de 'possum my ownseff." 
 
148 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 So dat Satan boy Jum he sot to, an' fust t'ing 
 he know duh ain' nuffin' o' dat 'possum lef, suh, 
 but a heap o' bones. De meat an' de fat it all 
 bean stow away 'neaf Jum's sussingle. Jum he 
 look at de heap o' bones an' den he look at he 
 po' ol' fadduh nappin' an' sno'tin' on de flo'. 
 Den de ol' Satan in Jum it done teck to wuckin', 
 an' Jum he grin lack he ain' nevuh bean so tickle 
 sence he bo'n. He snatch up all de bones o' 
 dat 'possum an' stack 'em in a heap nigh he 
 daddy. Den he teck an' daub Uncle Camp's 
 nose an' chops an' whiskuhs all ovuh wiv 'possum 
 grease an' snick outen de cabin. 
 
 Uncle Camp he done git rested out bahmby, 
 an' week up. De cabin bean chock full o' de 
 smell o' 'possiim yit, an' Uncle Camp he 'gin to 
 grin an' smack he lips. He rise up an' teck de 
 kivvuh off de pot an* peek in. Den his jaw it 
 drap lack a pump handle. He rub he eyes an' 
 look in de pot ag'in. Nuffin' in dah but de 
 smell ! 
 
 *' Mighty Gabr'el ! " he holluh. " De 'possum 
 done gone ! " 
 
 Des' den Uncle Camp he drap he eyes to de 
 flo' an' he see de heap o' bones polished up des' 
 de way he done polish 'possum bones. He ope 
 
Saved by the Man in the IMoon. 149 
 
 he eyes big as onions. Den he rub he han' on 
 he chops an' feel de 'possum grease, an' he 'skiv- 
 uh it on he nose an' in he whiskuhs. Den Uncle 
 Camp he breck out in a grin dat wrinkle he 
 brack neck from he chin to he wool, an' meek 
 de 'possum fat glisten mo' an' mo'. He rub he 
 ban's up an' down on he paunch, an' smack he 
 lips an' roll he eyes an' grin widuh'n evuh. 
 
 " Um-m-m — um ! " he grunt. "Um-m-m — 
 um ! 'Fo' de Lo'd ! " he hoUuh. " I done fo'git 
 I eat dat 'possum ! " 
 
 Dat boy Jum he bean pickin' froo de crack in 
 de do' an' listenin'. When he see an' heah how 
 pow'ful fo'gitful he ol' daddy bean, he des' 
 waddle out to de co'nfield an' roll an' holluh. 
 Den he skrimmidge ovuh an' tell my ol' mammy 
 w'at he done do, an' she have to roll an' holluh 
 so huh ownseff dat she cain't chide dat Satan 
 boy, suh, to save huhseff. I\Iy ol' mammy she 
 tell Mahs' McKeevuh, an' he roll an' holluh — 
 an' dat's de Uncle Camp my ol' mammy bean 
 p'intin' at dat evenin' w^'en Mahs' McKeevuh 
 tellin' 'bout de man w'at sheck ban's wiv de man 
 in de moon bein' so monst'us fo'gitful, an' meek 
 Mahs' McKeevuh holluh an' snote. Funny yo' 
 nevuh did heah 'bout him, suh ! Dis hyuh 
 
i5o The Black Homer of Jimtown. ' 
 
 kentry done heah 'bout Uncle Camp sence long 
 befo' de wah, suh. 
 
 *'Yes, suh, Rosybell," JNIahs' McKeevuh say 
 to my ol' mammy, attuh he done squelch he hol- 
 luh'n an' sno'tin'. " Dis hyuh man w'at tell me 
 he sheck ban's wiv de man in de moon he pow'- 
 ful sight mo' fo'gitfuller dan Uncle Camp yit. 
 Dis hyuh man he t'ink he mus' go an' 'skivuh de 
 No'th Pole. He tromp an' he tromp up froo de 
 snow an' de ice, froo de snow an' de ice, till he 
 'gin to git pow'ful col' an' hungry, an' nighuh 
 an' nighuh to whah de moon it done rise, "way 
 up dah in de No'th. He git nighuh an' nighuh 
 to de place, till he tromp so nigh he kin 'mos' 
 ritch up an' tetch de moon whah it done git up 
 an' sail down dis hyuh way, to shine an' shine on 
 de lan's he done lef behin' him. He keep he eye 
 peeled fo' de man in de moon, 'kaze he know 
 about him eatin' cabbage dah wiv a spoon, an' 
 he t'ink mebbe he kin holluh to him to des' frow 
 him out a spoonful o' dat dah cabbage, he bean 
 so monst'us hongry. But dis hyuh man, so he 
 done tell me, he doan' see nuffin o' de man in 
 de moon, but bahmby he tromp so nigh dat he 
 declah he kin smell dat dah cabbage ! 
 
 " Bahmby one day he see suffin' risin' up ag'in 
 
Saved by the Man in the Moon. 151 
 
 de sky, outen a mountain o' ice, an' it 'peah des' 
 lack a big dead pine standin' dah. 
 
 " ' Jicketty ! ' he holluh. * Dat bean de No'th 
 Pole, sho's I bo'n, an' I done 'skivuh it ! ' 
 
 *' Dis hyuh meek de man feel pow'ful tickled, 
 'kaze now he know dat bahmby he soon git dah, 
 an' he des' chuckle to heseff how he done gwan 
 to heat heseff up choppin' dat No'th Pole down 
 w'en he git to it. He tromp on froo de snow 
 an' de ice, an' he ain' no mo' dan half a milefum 
 de No'th Pole w'en he happen to t'ink about 
 suffin'. 
 
 " ' Mighty Gabr'el ! ' he holluh. ' I cain't chop 
 dat No'th Pole down, 'kaze I done fo'git to fotch 
 my ax ! " 
 
 "Dat dah man, Rosybell," Mahs' McKeevuh 
 he say to my ol' mammy, " he done bean de 
 fo'gitfulles' creatuh w'at evuh breave de breff o' 
 life ! " 
 
 " He des' natch'ly a bombatious fool, dat w'at 
 he bean ! " my ol' mammy she say. "But waifo' 
 he want to git dat No'th Pole, anyhow ?" 
 
 " Dunno ! " I\Iahs' McKeevuh he say. " He 
 des' tell me dis hyuh, dat's all. I di'n ask him 
 waffo he want de No'th Pole. Dat doan' bean 
 none o' my business, Rosybell. But he tromp 
 
152 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 an' tromp on froo de snow an' froo de ice, an' 
 bahmby he heah a noise behin' him. He squinch 
 roun' to see w'at meek dat noise, an' sho ! w'at 
 yo' tink he done see skrimmidgin' attuh him ? A 
 monst'us big polah bah ! Dat dah doan' skeeiih 
 de man, 'kaze he a mighty huntuh, an' he know- 
 he kin kill dat polah bah wiv one shot, but des' 
 dat minute suffin' pop in he mind. 
 
 " ' Mighty Gabr'el ! ' he holluh. * I cain't kill 
 dat polah bah, 'kaze I done fo'git to fotch my 
 gun! ' 
 
 " Rosybell," IMahs' McKeevuh say to my ol' 
 mammy, " was duh evuh setch a fo'gitful creatuh 
 bo'n on erf as dat dah man ? 
 
 " Mahs' McKeevuh,'' my ol' mammy she say, 
 " ef I only des' have dat dah man hyuh dis min- 
 ute, I done joggle him till he wish he kin fo'git 
 he evuh had teef in he haid ! Dat's w'at I done 
 do wiv him, suh ? " 
 
 "Co'se," Mahs' McKeevuh he say, "de man 
 he doan' want to stan' dah an' be gobbled by dat 
 polah bah, so 'way he skrimmidge, fas' as he 
 laigs kin tote him, straight as he kin p'int fo' dat 
 No'th Pole. He p'intin' to ritch de pole an' shin 
 up to de top. He done ritch de pole, an' up he 
 go. He ritch de top an' des' 'gin to chuckle 
 
Saved by the Man in the Moon. 153 
 
 an' chuckle, w'en he look down, an' jicketty 
 dah dat monst'us polah bah shinnin' upde No'th 
 Pole attuh him ! Sho's yo' bo'n, Rosybell," 
 Mahs' jMcKeevuh he say to my ol' mammy, " ef 
 suffin' doan' happen des' de nex' minute, dat dah 
 man he nevuh would tol' me dis hyuh in diswide 
 wul' ! Nevuh I An' w'at yo' spec' done hap- 
 pen ? 
 
 " De polah bah des' gwan to gobble de man, 
 so he tell me, w'en, wush ! up rise de moon an' 
 mos' bresh dat dah man in de face wiv itseff ! 
 An' dah bean de man in de moon, ritchin' he han' 
 out to dat man on de top o' de No'th Pole. De 
 man on de pole co'se he tink de man in demoon 
 des' feelin' sorry fo' him, an' ritchin' he han' out 
 to sheck ban's wiv him good-by. So dis hyuh 
 man he ritch he own han' out an' grab de man in 
 de moon's han' an' began sheckin' it an' holluh'n 
 ' Good-by ! ' when he feel heseff snatch offen dat 
 pole lack he bean a 'simmon winched off a tree 
 by a 'possum, an' de nex' minute he swushin' 
 away 'long wiv de man in de moon, wiv de polah 
 bah scroochin' on top 0^ de No'th Pole, gnashin* 
 his teef an' sloshin' splintuhs outen de pole lack 
 lightnin' bean playin' wiv it ! Dat man he so 
 pow'ful fo'gitful, Rosybell," Mahs' McKeevuh he 
 
1 54 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 say to my ol' mammy, *'dat he nevuh did t'ink 
 to tell me whah de man in de moon done sot him 
 down ag'in, but dat's de way he sheck han's wiv 
 him, so he done tell me." 
 
 Dis hyuh was befo' de wah, suh, an' so duh 
 mus' bean a man in de moon den, suh, or how 
 kin dat man sheck han's wiv him, de way Mahs' 
 McKeevuh say dat man done tell him he did, 
 suh ? Dunno ? Cose yo' doan' ! 
 
OXE-EYE PETE NEAFFIE'S 
 PARROT. 
 
ONE-EYE PETE NEAFFIE'S PARROT. 
 
 A Bird of Sturdy Spirit and Great Flow of Lan- 
 guage, and How its Change of Heart, as the 
 Black Homer Alleges, Made its Strenuous 
 Owner Pious. 
 
 One time, des' 'bout de time de wah done 
 bean on its las' laigs, One-Eye Pete Neaffie he 
 kirn scrimmagin' into Mahs' McKeevuh's,an' he 
 say : 
 
 *' Whah Gunnel McKeevuh ? " 
 
 Somebody show him whah mahsuh bean, an' 
 Pete he say : 
 
 " Gunnel McKeevuh, I done do muhduh, suh ! 
 I'se a 'sassinatuh, Gunnel, an' duh ain' nuffin' to 
 do but des' teck me out an' hang me, suh ! " 
 
 Jicketty ! Dat des' meek all de eyes on dat 
 plahntation beige out lack dey bean de butt end 
 o' hen's aigs, suh, an' Mahs' McKeevuh he say: 
 
 " Wa' — wa' — w^a' yo' mean, Petuh ? Who yo' 
 done kill ? " 
 
 157 
 
158 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 " I done kill Nicodemus, suh ! " One-Eye Pete 
 he say. " Dat's who I done kill, an' yo' des' tell 
 'em to teck me out an' hang me ! " 
 
 Den Mahs' McKeevuh he git ovuh de flummix 
 Pete done frow him in when he say he bean 
 doin' muhduh, an' 'gin to grin, an' de eyes on 
 dat plahntation dey quit belgin', 'kaze we all 
 know who Nicodemus bean, but Pete he stick 
 to it dat he a 'sassinatuh, an' declah he mus' be 
 hung. 
 
 "I done bean de deff o' Nicodemus ! " he de- 
 clah. " If dat ain' muhduh, den I reckon duh 
 ain' no setch a t'ing as muhduh ! " 
 
 Co'se, Nicodemus bein' a — but I reckon I 
 bettuh tell yo' 'bout dat, suh. One-Eye Pete 
 Neaffie he bean des' about de streakiest man 
 w'at evuh live 'long de Cape Fair. Jicketty ! 
 w'at streaks dat man do take ! Ef Mahs' McKee- 
 vuh evuh t'ink o' doin' t'ings One-Eye Pete 
 Neaffie do, folks dey done sot him down as ravin' 
 crazy. But dey doan' t'ink Pete bean crazy. 
 Des' streaky, dat's all. Streakiest kyine, suh. 
 Long time 'fo' de wah Pete he run a sloop on de 
 Cape Fair, an' meek money. He own nigguhs, 
 an' he own a little plahntation. One time one o' 
 he nigguhs he done skin out in de night time an' 
 
One-Eye Pete Neaffie's Parrot. 159 
 
 doan' come back no mo'. Dat nigguh he leave 
 a wife, an' she b'long to Pete, too. Two, free 
 days attuh de nigguh run away Pete he say to 
 dat nigguh's wife : 
 
 " Suse, whah dat wuffless nigguh o' yo'n ? " 
 
 " I reckon he done scrimmage up No'th, Mahs' 
 Neaffie," Suse she say. 
 
 " Yo' know whah he bean } " 
 
 " Yes, I know whah he bean," Suse she say. 
 
 " Den yo' des' pick up yo' bundle an' go dah, 
 too ! " One-Eye Pete say, an' Suse she have to go. 
 
 Dat de kyine o' streaky man One-Eye Pete 
 Neaffie bean, an' when folks dey joggle him fo* 
 settin' one nigguh free 'kaze 'nudduh one run 
 away, he brestle up an' say : 
 
 " Nobody doan' 'bleege me to set my nigguhs 
 free," he say. " But look-a hyuh ! Duh's a time 
 comin' when all yo' own nigguhs dey done bean 
 sot free, an' yo' won't have nuffin' to say about 
 it, neiduh ! " 
 
 Dat dah bean monst'us hot sayin' fo' de Cape 
 Fair plahntations des' 'bout dat time, an' if Mahs' 
 McKeevuh done say it folks dey say he crazy, 
 sho's yo' bo'n. But One-Eye Pete — " he des' 
 streaky, dat's all ; des' streaky," dey say. 
 
 Des' a little time 'fo' de wah kim along Pete ; 
 
i6o The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 he go 'way wiv he sloop, an' he git 'way down to 
 Cha'lston, whah he tie up, an' one day he bean 
 gwan 'long de street an' he heah some un hol- 
 luh: 
 
 ''Damn fool!" 
 
 Pete he stop quick an' tu'n roun', but he di'n 
 see who dat kin be what holluh. He staht on, 
 w'en dat same holluh kim ag'in. Pete he stop, 
 an' den he see an ol' wooman wlv a parrot, an' 
 de parrot holluh : 
 
 "Damn fool!" 
 
 " Jicketty ! " he say. " Dat parrot he know 
 me, sho' enough, but I swah I nevuh know 
 him ! " 
 
 Den de parrot it begin to swah an' swah at 
 Pete till Pete he des' mighty neah laugh heseff to 
 deff, an* he buy dat parrot an' fotch him home. 
 Pete so tickle wiv him dat he doan' do nuffin' 
 but visit wiv him all de time. 
 
 " Ise gwan to quit boatin'," Pete he say. " Me 
 an' Nicodemus hain' got no time fo' boatin'," he 
 say. 
 
 "An' he quit boatin', sho's yo' bo'n, suh, an' 
 des' put all his time in wiv dat parrot. Den de 
 wah it begin to push along, an' One-Eye Pete 
 he say : 
 
One-Eye Pete Neaffie's Parrot. i6i 
 
 " Dah's gwan to be hell to pay 'roun hyuh 'fo' 
 long, an' me an' Nicodemus is gwan to teck to de 
 woods ! " 
 
 And wa't yo' tink ? He done sell he plahnta- 
 tion an' he nigguhs, an' scrimmage 'way up in 
 de wildes' kentry he kin fine, an' Nicodemus go 
 'long wiv him. Jicketty ! Wat a streaky man 
 dat One-Eye Pete Neaffie done bean ! Um-m-m- 
 um ! but he bean streaky ! 
 
 Pete an' Nicodemus dey done go 'way up 
 
 dah an' rise a cabin in de woods. Duh bean 
 
 heaps o' game up dah — oodles of it ; wile tucky, 
 
 bah, deeuh, 'possum, coon, wile ducks, wile 
 
 geeses, dey all des natch'ly bean plenty as gum 
 
 berries. An' de t'ings Nicodemus done git de 
 
 hang of in dem woods ! De wile tucky cain't 
 
 meek he own call nigh so natch'l as Nicodemus 
 
 kin, an' de way he quack like a duck, an' cackle 
 
 like a geese, an* blat like a fawn — why, it des' 
 
 monst'us ! All One-Eye Pete he have to do bean 
 
 to des' teck he gun an' go out in de woods an' 
 
 hide heseff, ef he pinin' fo' tucky or deeuh. 
 
 Nicodemus he des' set on a limb an holluh 'em 
 
 in, an' Pete he pick out de ones he keeuh fo' an' 
 
 knock 'em ovuh. Ef Pete he pinin' fo' geese 
 
 an' duck, den he des' hide by de creeks, an' Nico- 
 II 
 
1 62 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 demus be meek depo' fowls t'ink, when deybean 
 flyin' ovuh, dat dull bean flocks an' flocks o' 
 geese an' ducks feedin' on de fat o' de Ian' 
 down dah, de way he kin cackle an' quack, so 
 dey wheel an' drop down in dat creek to see 
 w'at all dem fowls done fine dah so pow'ful 
 good. Den Pete he whang 'em, an' Nicodemus 
 he laugh an holluh lack he des' tickle to deff de 
 way he fool dem geese an' ducks. But ef Pete 
 he evuh miss a tucky w'en Nicodemus call it 
 up to de gun, um-m-m-um ! How dat parrot 
 done cut loose wiv he tongue at Pete ! Swah ? 
 Why, jicketty ! Pete he cain't help gittin' 
 mighty skeeuht many time w'en Nicodemus 
 bean cuttin' loose dat-a-way, an' he say he des' 
 natch'ly set down an' wait fo' de showuh o' 
 fiah an' brimstone he feel mighty sahtin mus' 
 sho'ly tumble on him fo' dat parrot's mon- 
 st'us weekedness ! An' Nicodemus he done 
 swush at Pete, an' yank he haih out, an' swab- 
 ble he face, an' joggle him desp'rit. Pete he des' 
 lay low an' teck it all till Nicodemus git froo. 
 'Kaze he say any man w'at cain't hit a tucky 
 w'en it done been fotch to he gun, des' ought to 
 be joggled till he cain't see. 
 
 Des' see w'at a monst'us crittuh dat Nicodemus 
 
One-Eyed Pete Xeaffie's Parrot. 163 
 
 done bean, suh. Wen One-Eye Pete teck down 
 he gun to go in de woods attuh game dat parrot 
 he des' cock he eye up an' say : 
 
 " Tuckv, Pete ? " 
 
 Mebbe Pete he say no. Den Nicodemus he 
 say : 
 
 ''Duck?" 
 
 Mebbe Pete he say no ag'in. Den Nicodemus 
 say : 
 
 " Geese ? " 
 
 Ef Pete he say no, den Nicodemus say : 
 
 " Deeuh .? " 
 
 Den ef Pete sav no, Nicodemus he scrumble 
 heseff an' swah, an' holluh : 
 
 " Bah ! Damn bah ! " 
 
 'Kaze Nicodemus he doan' keeuh fo' bah 
 huntin', fo' he cain't call bah ; but he always go 
 'long des' to swah at Pete. One time Pete done 
 chase a bah all day long, an' he cain't git nigh 
 him. Nicodemus he swah an' swah an' swah, 
 an' tell Pete he bean so many monst'us t'ings 
 dat bahmby Peth he git skeeuht, an' t'ink sho'ly 
 dat ol' Satan done gobble him fo' he git outen 
 dem woods. Den de bah scootle into a swamp 
 so deep dat Pete he des' nach'ly give up, an' 
 say he gwan home. Den yo' ottuh heah Nice- 
 
164 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 demus ! He shy setch monst'us talk at Pete dat 
 Pete's haiuh rise up, an' he p'int he gun at 
 Nicodemus an' declah dat if dat parrot doan' 
 shet he mouf he git de bullet w'at bean in dat 
 gun fo' de bah. Do yo' t'ink Nicodemus shet he 
 mouf ? No, suh ! He des' swush at One-Eye 
 Pete an' swa-a-a-t him — um-m-m-m ! how he do 
 swat dat man ! Den he holluh dat he gwan to 
 git dat bah he ownseff, an' away he swushes in 
 de swamp. Bahmby Pete he heah mos' onright- 
 eous goin's on in dah. Nicodemus a yellin' an' 
 swah'n an' callin' names wussuh dan he evuh do 
 befo', an' de bah a howlin' an' scrummagin' an' 
 gnashin' he teef. 
 
 ** I declah," Pete he say, *' ef it doan' peah 
 lack dat fowl o' de aiuh des' natch'ly done gone 
 an' gobble dat wile beas' o' de wilduhness, sho's 
 I bo'n ! " 
 
 Den Pete he heah de bah comin' outen de 
 swamp, swishy-swashy ! crishy-crashy ! He 
 comin' squah right dah whah Pete bean standin', 
 an' Pete know dat parrot bean fotchin' him out, 
 'kaze he heah Nicodemus swah'n dat he is. Pete 
 he doan' feah dat bah, but he pow'ful distressed 
 ovuh de talk Nicodemus bean shyin' at de bah, 
 an' he know ef he doan' kill dat bah w'en it 
 
One-Eye Pete Neaffie's Parrot. 165 
 
 scrumble outen dat swamp he mowt des' well 
 jump in de creek an' drownd heseff. De bah 
 pop out, an' Pete cotch it wiv he rifle ball, an' 
 down it go an' doan' git up no mo'. An' des' 
 ahind de ol' bah kim two teeny cubs, wiv Nico- 
 demus jogglin' 'em desp'rit. Wen Nicodemus 
 see de ol' bah layin' dah daid, he cool down an' 
 roost on de bah's cahcuss. But w'en he fine dat 
 Pete he gwan to teck dem two cubs to de cabin, 
 Nicodemus he swush Pete all de way home, an' 
 call him monst'us t'ings squah in his face. But 
 Pete he boun' to have dem cubs, an' he des' let 
 Nicodemus swah. 
 
 Pete he done git pow'ful fond o' dem dah cubs, 
 an' Nicodemus he git pow'ful jealous of 'em, an' 
 make up he mind about 'em. Pete he keep de 
 cubs in de cabin, an' one night he week up and 
 heah Nicodemus swah'n lack a pirate, an' de cubs 
 whinin' lack dey ain' easy in dey mine. Pete he 
 lay low, an' bahmby he heah de cabin do' push 
 open, an' de moonshine it pop in, an' den he see 
 dat it bean Nicodemus push de do' open. Pete 
 he keep layin' low, an' wonduh w'at dat onright- 
 eous parrot gwan do. An' wat-a yo' tink he 
 done do, suh ? He des' natch'ly drive dem cubs 
 outen dat cabin, peckin' 'em wiv he hook bill, 
 
1 66 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 an' swah'n ! Jicketty ! How he been swah'n ! 
 An' he run dem po' little bahs 'way off in de 
 woods, an' dey know dey bettuh nevuh come 
 back dah agin, suh. Den Nicodemus he kim 
 back to de cabin, an' he chuckle an' chuckle, an' 
 git up on Pete's bunk an' holluh in he eauh : 
 
 "Damn fool ! " 
 
 Den Nicodemus chuckle some mo' an' go to 
 sleep. Dis hyah tickle Pete so pow'ful dat he 
 tink mo' o' dat weeked parrot dan he evuh tink 
 he kin. Nex' day Pete he boun' to tease Nico- 
 demus, an' he took down he gun. 
 
 " Tucky, Pete ? " Nicodemus he say. 
 
 " No," Pete he say. " Bah." 
 
 Nicodemus he swah he woan' go attuh bah, 
 but Pete he declah dat he go attuh bah or he 
 doan' go attuh nuffin, so Nicodemus he git up 
 an' go, but he mighty gruffy 'bout it, an' w'en 
 Pete he stop to look fo' bah signs, Nicodemus he 
 move on, lack he doan' keeuh fo' nuffin. He ain' 
 go but little ways, w'en Pete heah a swush, an' 
 den Nicodemus 37ellin' an' swah'n. Pete he look 
 dat a-way, an' des' tu'n col' as ice. A big hawk 
 it done swup down an' gobble Nicodemus, an' 
 'way it go wiv him, an' Pete doan' see him no 
 mo'. Den Pete he des' lop down an' tah he haih, 
 
One-Eye Pete Neaffie's Parrot. 167 
 
 " I bean de deff o' Nicodemus ! " he holluh. 
 " I done do muhduh, an' I des' go an let 'em 
 hang me. " 
 
 Duh nevuh bean setch a streaky man as dat 
 One-Eye Pete Neaffie. Nevuh in the wul', suh. 
 
 Dat bean de time w'en Pete he kim in to Mahs' 
 McKeevuh's plahntation, down yon 'long de Cape 
 Fair, an' tell mahsuh he done do muhduh, an' 
 he mus' hang. So w'en Alahs' McKeevuh he fine 
 who it bean dat Pete done muhduh, he say : 
 
 " Dey wantin' sojuh men pow'ful bad up yon 
 in V'ginny, Pete," he say. " Dis hyuh wah lookin' 
 ferocious. Dem Yanks dey pushin' de knife 
 'way up to de helt, an' we des' achin' fo' sojuh 
 men. Bes' t'ing yo' kin do, Petuh,' mahsuh 
 say, " 'been to go up dah an jine de ahmy. Yo' 
 git killed, des lack as not, an' dat mighty sight 
 bettuh'n hangin." 
 
 Pete he t'ink dat bean des' 'bout de t'ing, too, 
 an' 'way he go to jine de ahmy, dat man bean so 
 pow'ful streaky ! He jine de ahmy, an' he fight 
 and fight and fight. He fight mo'n six months 
 'fo' he git a scratch, an' den a Yankee bullet clip 
 him, an' dey tote him in to die. Dey tote him 
 to a big tent whah duh bean heaps mo' sojuh 
 men wiv Yankee bullets in 'em, an' dey des' 
 
i68 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 layin' Pete on he cot, w'en he heah some un 
 holluh : 
 
 " Halleluyuh, Petuh ! Let us pray ! " 
 Pete he ope he one eye an' look up skeeuht 
 wiv it, an' dah, on a stool in the tent, who yo' 
 done spec' he see ? Nicodemus ! Yes, suh ! 
 Big as life, suh, an' solemn as a unduhtakuh ! 
 Pete he des' shet dat eye o' his'n ag'in an' done 
 faint daid away, he des' dat streaky ! 
 
 How Nicodemus done git dah ? Dat bean so 
 sing'luh, suh, dat I doan^ spec' yo' gwan to 
 b'lieve it. Des' on udduh side dem woods whah 
 de hawk snatch Nicodemus up dat day an' tote 
 him off cussin' an' swah'n top o' he lungs, bean 
 de Craigie plahntation. De Craigie folks dey 
 bean de piouses' folks in all dat kentry, an' Mahs' 
 Craigie he done preach many times, heah an' 
 dah. Hawks bean totin' away de Craigie chick- 
 ens, des' de same, an' Mahs' Craigie bean layin' 
 fo' hawks wiv he gun, des' w'en de hawk w'at 
 gobble Nicodemus kim floatin' ovuh dat a-way. 
 He up pow'ful high, but ]\Iahs' Craigie he bean 
 a desp'rit man wiv a rifle, an' he sen' a bullet up 
 to meet dat hawk, an' the bullet done meet it, 
 sho'ly. De hawk kim tumblin' down, an' drap 
 daid in a co'n shock. Wen Mahs' Craigie go to 
 
One-Eye Pete Neaffie's Parrot. 169 
 
 pick de hawk up he mighty sot back to see a 
 parrot shet in its claws. Dat bean Nicodemus. 
 Co'se Mahs' Craigie doan' know dat. He t'ink 
 de parrot bean daid, an' he teck it to de house. 
 De fambly dey all lookin' at it, w'en bahmby Nico- 
 demus he 'gin to kick. Den dey know he ain' 
 daid, an' dey wait. Bahmby Nicodemus he ope 
 he eyes an' look roun' dah. Den he rise up an' 
 teck a bettuh look. Den he 'gin to give his 'pin- 
 ion o' t'ings. Nicodemus he ain' hahdly staht 
 in yit, w'en dat fambly 'gin to scattuh, an' dey 
 ain' nobody lef wiv Nicodemus but j\Iahs' Crai- 
 gie, an' he have he finguhs stuff 'way in he 
 eauhs, an' he eyes dey belgin'. Bahmby Nico- 
 demus he quit. Mahs' Craigie's fambly dey de- 
 clah dat he mus' teck de parrot out in de woods 
 an' shoot it, but he say no. But he done tote 
 Nicodemus up to a cabin he have in de woods, 
 an' dah he labuh an' rassle wiv dat onrighteous 
 fowl weeks an' weeks, day in an' day out, p'intin' 
 out to Nicodemus de evil of his ways. An' 
 w'at yo' spec' done happen ? Bahmby one day 
 Mahs' Craigie he kim in an' Nicodemus bean 
 wiv him. De fambly dey staht to quit de house 
 as fas' as dey laigs kin tote 'em, but Nicodemus 
 he hoUuh : 
 
i7o The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 " Hallyluyuh ! Let us pray ! " 
 
 Den de fambly kim back. Yes, suh. Mahs' 
 Craigie he done labuh wiv dat weeked Nicode- 
 mus till he tu'n him in dc straight an' narrow 
 path, suh, an' duh ain' bean none o' dat fambly 
 no mo' piousuh dan Nicodemus ! An' w'en 
 Mahs' Craigie he t'ink he mus' go an' jine de 
 ahmy, he done teck Nicodemus wiv him, an' 
 Mahs' Craigie an' him dey done bean in dat tent 
 w'en dey tote One-Eyed Pete Neaffie in. 
 
 Well, suh, Pete he doan' die, an' he mighty 
 tickle to fine dat Nicodemus ain' daid, but he 
 cain't git de hang o' all dat piousness. One day 
 Pete he feelin' streaky, an' he say to Nicode- 
 mus : 
 
 "We gwan out attuh bah to-day." 
 
 Nicodemus he shuffle he fedduhs up an' glare 
 he eye, an' holluh : 
 
 " Dam " 
 
 But he done cotch heseff right dah, an' say : 
 
 " Hallyluyuh, Petuh ! Let us pray ! " 
 
 Dat des' sot Pete to t'inkin', an' he t'ink so 
 hahd an' deep ovuh Nicodemus's change o' haht 
 dat when he bean ready to jine de ahmy ag'in 
 he des' as pious as Nicodemus, an' \v'at yo' 
 spec' Pete done do ? Attuh de wah bean done 
 
One-Eye Pete Neaffie's Parrot. 171 
 
 he des' natch'Iy go to preachin', and de Cape 
 Fair kentry ain' nevuh see setch a pow'ful 
 preachuh as One-Eye Pete Neaffie, befo' no' 
 sence de wah, suh. He des' dat oncommon 
 streaky ! 
 
SCORNFUL SUE AND LEAN 
 LUCLNDA. 
 
SCORNFUL SUE AND LEAN LU- 
 
 CINDA. 
 
 How the Screech Owl Charm Tangled the Love 
 Affairs of Poor Juniper Blue, and Sent Him 
 Forth Pining to Meet Some Wild and Rapa- 
 cious Bear. 
 
 " Yo' bean skrimmidgin' 'roun' in de piny woods 
 a heap, suh," said the Black Homer one day, 
 " and I spec' yo' done see Junipuh Blue befo' dis 
 time ? " 
 
 The Northerner had not seen Mr. Blue as yet. 
 
 " Den co'se dey done tell yo' 'bout him, suh ? " 
 said the Black Homer. 
 
 They had not told the Northerner anything 
 about Juniper Blue. 
 
 " Dat mighty queeuh ! " declared the Black 
 Homer of Jimtown. " Dat misfo'tunate man 
 bean slumpin' roun' froo de woods dis hyuh 
 
 long time." 
 
 175 
 
176 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 The Northern man, seeing nothing surprising 
 in that, said nothing, which evidently disturbed 
 the Black Homer, who, after a long pause, said : 
 
 '' An' waffo yo' 'spec' he done spen' he time 
 doin it, suh ? " 
 
 The Northerner was, of course, unable to say. 
 
 " Dat misfo'tunate man, suh," said the Black 
 Homer, " he slumpin' roun' froo de woods dat 
 a-way des' 'kase he achin' and hopin' an' prayin' 
 to meet a wild an' rippinacious bah face to face. 
 He doan' want to kill dat bah, an' he doan' want 
 dat bah to kill him, neiduh. He des' hopin' an' 
 prayin' to meet de bah, dat's all. Den attuh 
 dat he done spec' he boun' to be de happies' 
 man duh evuh did be in de Cape Fair kentry, 
 'tick'ly kaze den he kin sheck de mud o' de 
 Cape Fair kentry off he heels an' skrimmidge 
 'way fum dah. Did yo' evuh pine an' pine wiv 
 love, suh, till yo' mos' tink yo' kin des' natch'ly 
 lay down an' die wiv it, an' de gal w'at yo' pine 
 fo' she des' doan' keeuh a sniffle fo' yo', but 
 hankuh attuh 'nudduh man, till yo' tink yo' boun' 
 to go 'way an' die anyhow, suh .'' " 
 
 The Northerner said that this was a rather del- 
 icate subject to discuss, and he preferred to re- 
 main noncommittal on it. 
 
Scornful Sue and Lean Lucinda. 177 
 
 '' Oh, dat bean all right ! " said the Black 
 
 Homer. " It doan' meek a trifle o' diff ence to 
 
 me, suh ! Only, duh bean oodles an' oodles o' 
 
 folks w'at does pine and pine dat a-way, I 
 
 reckon, and I des' tink dat ef yo' mowt be one 
 
 o' dem folks I kin tell yo' how yo' kin meek de 
 
 gal pine fo' yo' ownseff, suh, an' meek d' udduh 
 
 man feel lack he boun' to go 'way an' des' lay 
 
 down an' die he ownseff. Dat bean all, suh. 
 
 But co'se ef you ain' pinin' it don't make no 
 
 diff'ence to you, suh. But it made a pow'ful 
 
 sight o' diff'ence to Junipuh, an' dat's des' why 
 
 he slump roun' froo de woods, hopin' an' achin' 
 
 and prayin' to meet dat wild and rippinacious bah. 
 
 Junipuh he bean drivin' mules fo' de ]\IcKeevuh 
 
 folks down yon — ol' ]\Iahs' ]\IcKeevuh folks, only 
 
 ol' Mahs' jNIcKeevuh he bean daid dese hyuh 
 
 yeahs an' yeahs. Junipuh's folks dey ain' Cape 
 
 Fair kentry folks. Dey live ovuh yon in de 
 
 Drowndin' Creek kentry. Junipuh he ain' been 
 
 wiv the iMcKeevuh mules a desp'ut while 'fo' he 
 
 'gin to pine an' pine an' pine wiv love. An' who 
 
 yo' spec' he done pinin' fo' .'' Susan Ray, who 
 
 bean a gal w^at step pow'ful high, suh, 'kaze she 
 
 de waitin' maid fo' young Missy McKeevuh. 
 
 Susan she tu'n huh nose up at Junipuh, an' dat 
 12 
 
178 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 des' meek him pine an' pine all de mo'. Mebbe 
 she woan' tu'n huh nose up quite so high, dough, 
 ef Sam Shackpole doan' be in de case. 
 
 " Sam Shackpole, he been groomin' fo' young 
 Capt. Gravely, des' de nex' place to IMcKee- 
 vuhs', an' he des' as spry as a cricket, an' de 
 bes' cakewalkuh in de hull Cape Fair kentry. 
 Wat kin Junipuh Blue 'spec he kin do 'gin a man 
 lack dat, even 'ef Susan Ray doan' tu'n up huh 
 nose 'kaze she a waitin' maid an' Junipuh des' a 
 mule drivuh ? 'Peahs lack Junipuh done lose he 
 haid, pinin' 'gin a man who kin Cakewalk bet- 
 tuh'n de hull Cape Fair kentry ; but he keep on 
 pinin', and Susan she keep on risin' huh nose at 
 him an' smilin' on Sam Shackpole, an' goin' 
 wiv him to all de meetin's, and de cakewalks, 
 an' de swarry's w'at come up 'long de Cape 
 Fair. 
 
 " One day Junipuh he t'ink he lack to go to de 
 Drowndin' Creek kentry an' see he folks, an' 
 so he do. He oV Aunt Mabel she ain' skeecely 
 sot huh eyes on him 'fo' she holluh : 
 
 " * Junipuh Blue ! waffo' yo' done look so wan 
 an' waily ? ' 
 
 " Junipuh he squimple out : ' Aunt Mabel, I 
 done spec' I'se pinin' ! 
 
 -' I > 
 
Scornful Sue and Lean Lucinda. 179 
 
 " ' Pinin' ! '* Aunt Mabel she holluh. ' Waffo' 
 yo' pinin, chile ? ' 
 
 "Den Junipuh he squimple out ag'in : ' I'se 
 pinin' fo' love ! ' 
 
 "'Love!' Aunt Mabel she holluh. 'An' I 
 spec' Is'e pinin' too ! I'se pinin' to swat yo', 
 Junipuh Blue ! Ise pinin' to swat yo' mighty 
 hahd ! Ef yo' pinin' fo' love waffo yo' doan' 
 git it ? ' 
 
 " Den Junipuh he done tell he Aunt oMabel all 
 about his pinin', and who he pinin' fo', an' how 
 she des tu'n huh nose up at him, an' smile on 
 'nudduh man. Attuh Junipuh tell he Aunt 
 Mabel dat, she des' glarify at him till Junipuh he 
 mos' sah'tin she done gwan to swat him attuh all. 
 But she doan' do it. She des' glarify at him, an' 
 bahmby she say : 
 
 " ' 'Peahs lack dat when folks sets deyseffs 
 down ovuh dah in dat Cape Fair kentry dey des' 
 doan' know nuffin no mo' ! Junipuh Blue, yo' 
 bean de foolest nigguh I know ! Hyuh yo' 
 pinin' an'" pinin', an' de gal she done sco'n yo', 
 when, ef yo' know enough to git back dah, yo' 
 kin put de shoe on d' udduh foot, yo' wan an' 
 waily man ! ' 
 
 "Den Junipuh he trimble an' speck lack he 
 
i8o The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 done have de aguh, an' holluh : * Wat in de 
 wide wul' yo' mean, Aunt Mabel ? ' 
 
 " * Go back to yo' Cape Fair kentry ! ' Aunt 
 Mabel she holluh. 'Git yo' a screech owl's 
 gizzuhd ! Bake it an' powduh it fine ! Trickle 
 a pinch o' dat powduh in de gal's victuals or 
 drink ! Den she's boun' to do de pinin' huh 
 own seff, an' de shoe be on d' udduh foot ! Go 
 back an' git yo' a screech owl's gizzuhd, yo' fool 
 nigguh, an' win yo' gal an' cease yo' pinin' ! 
 
 " Junipuh Blue, he cain't hahdly stop to t'ank 
 he Aunt INIabel, he so pow'ful tickled, and 'way 
 he done scrimmidge back to de Cape Fair ken- 
 try. An' he put in all de time he kin get lookin' 
 fo' dat screech owl. He hunt de swamps, an' 
 he slump froo de woods, but he cain't fine no 
 screech owl. One time he t'ink he see one in 
 a holluh tree, an' he 'gin to jolly an' hug heseff, 
 but dat doan' be no screech owl. It bean a 
 wilecat, an' it joggle Junipuh so monst'us 'fo' he 
 kin git away fum dah dat he leave a heap o' he 
 wool an' he skin in de woods. An' all de w'ile 
 he huntin' fo' dat screech owl Junipuh he pine 
 an' pine mo'n evuh, an' Susan she rise huh nose 
 highuh an' highuh, an' smile on Sam sweetuh an' 
 sweetuh. 
 
Scornful Sue and Lean Lucinda. i8i 
 
 " ' Dis hyuh bean monst'us hahd to beah ! ' 
 Junipuh he do declah. ' Ef I doan' git dat 
 screech owl 'fo' many days, I des' natch'ly go off 
 an' die in the wilduhness ! ' he declah. 
 
 " But bahmby he get dat screech owl ! He 
 fine it hidin' in de swamp, and he knock it 
 ovuh, an' hug it all de way home, he so fond of 
 it, 'kase now he donegwan to cease he pinin', fo' 
 Susan boun' to be his'n. He teck de owl's 
 gizzhud, an' he bake it, an' he powduh it fine, 
 an' he wait he chance, gloatin' 'kase he cain't help 
 I'inkin' how s'prise Sam Shackpole gwan to be 
 when he done see dat Susan doan' rise huh nose 
 no mo' at Junipuh, but des' smiles de sweetes' 
 kyine on him. Den de chance it kim along. 
 De brudduhn an' sistuhn done git up a cake- 
 walk fo' to rise money to pay de Elduh's wages, 
 an' co'se Sam he boun' to be dah, an' co'se he 
 gwan to teck Susan. Junipuh be gloatin' mo' 
 and mo', and he say to Sam : 
 
 " ' I spec' yo' gwan to teck Susan ? ' 
 
 " ' Co'se ! ' Sam he say. 
 
 " ' Joy yo'seff wiv her ? ' Junipuh say. ' Joy 
 yo'seff, Sam, 'kase I reckon dis hyuh gwan to 
 be yo' las' time ! Susan she boun' to go wiv 
 me attuh dis hyuh time. She gwan to smile 
 
1 82 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 on me from dis huyh on ! ' Junipuh he say 
 gloatin'. 
 
 " Sam he 'mos' roll an' holluh to hear Junipuh 
 say dat, an' when he tell Susan she 'mos' roll an' 
 holluh, too. Sam he teck Susan to de cake 
 walk, and dey des' feelin' gay when Junipuh he 
 kim along, an' dat meek 'em feel all de gayer, 
 'kase he so tickle ovuh w'at he done to say to 
 Sam. 
 
 " * Susan an' Sam,' Junipuh, he say,' come wiv 
 me. I'se gwan to treat yo'. 
 
 " Susan an' Sam dey glide wiv Junipuh to the 
 lemonade place, an' when Junipuh pass Susan 
 huh glass he trickle a pinch o' de powder fum 
 de screech owl's gizzuhd in it, sly as a possum. 
 But he ain' sly enough fo' Susan. Susan she 
 teck de glass, an' des' den she look roun' an' 
 scream : 
 
 " * Oh, my ! Hyuh's 'Cindy Chopup ! Yo' 
 mus' treat 'Cindy, too, Junipuh ! ' Susan she 
 scream. 
 
 " Fo' a cullud lady, I done 'spec' 'Cindy Chop- 
 up bean de skinniest an' de leanest creatuh w'at 
 yo' evuh sot yo' two eyes on, suh ! An' she have 
 a desp'ut cockeye, an' huh tempuh bean mon- 
 st'us sot on aidge, suh. When Susan 'skivvuh 
 
Scornful Sue and Lean Lucinda. 183 
 
 'Cindy at de lemonade place an' scream to 
 Junipuh dat he mus' treat 'Cindy, too, Junipuh 
 he say c'ose he will. 'Cindy she scuffle up, an' 
 Junipuh he tu'n to get huh a glass, too, when 
 Susan she holluh : 
 
 "'Yo' des' teck dis hyuh glass, 'Cindy, 'kase 
 I see it done been too pow'ful sweet fo' me ! ' 
 
 " An' 'fo' Junipuh he kin jump an' stop huh, 
 *Cindy done swump de hull glass, screech owl 
 gizzuhd an' all, suh ! Den Susan she t'ank 
 Junipuh de sweetes' kyine, and declah she done 
 change huh mind and woan' teck any lemonade 
 dis evenin' ! An' w'at you tink, suh ? Junipuh 
 he resh fum de place an' hide in de IMcKeevuh 
 haymow. He ain' been gone ten minutes, suh, 
 when 'Cindy 'gin to 'qniah an' 'quiah whah he 
 kin be, an' hunt high an' low fo' him. De 
 screech owl gizzuhd been actin', suh, an' 'Cindy 
 been pinin' fo' Junipuh ! An' dat night Sam 
 an' Susan dey des' go to de Elduh's an' git 
 married ! 
 
 "Well, suh, 'Cindy she pine an' pine so fo' 
 Junipuh, an' tag him 'roun' so an' pestuh him, 
 dat he des' pick heseff up an' skittuh away fum 
 de Cape Fair kentry, pinin' fo' Susan mo'n 
 evuh, an' leavin' 'Cindy pinin' fo' him most des- 
 
184 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 p'ut. Nobody didn't know whah Junipuh done 
 gone to, an' 'Cindy she pine an' pine an' pine 
 so onceasin' dat she teck a trip to de Drowndin' 
 Creek kentry, hopin' she might git track o' Juni- 
 puh. I doan' 'spec' youevuh did know, suh, dat 
 screech owls bean monst'us 'feahd of bahs ? " 
 
 The Northerner had never known that screech 
 owls were afraid of bears, and so informed the 
 Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 *' Monst'ous 'feahd, suh ! Screech owls bean 
 monst'us 'feahd o' bahs. 'Peahs lack dat dah 
 feah bean bo'n in de screech owls. So my ol' 
 mammy she done tell me. When de fuss' 
 screech owl bean made an' put in de woods it 
 ain't been a screech owl at all, 'kaze it didn't 
 have no voice to screech wiv. Dat owl bean 
 silent as a graveyahd, and de fuss' bah w'at 
 bean made an' put in de woods he doan' lack 
 dat. One day dat owl bean settin' on huh aigs 
 hatchin' out huh fambly, when 'long kim de bah 
 an' rise up, whoosh ! right outen de bresh in 
 front o' de owl, an' roah an' holluh de mos' rip- 
 pinacious kyine. Dat po' broodin' owl she 
 bean so monst'us skeeuht she des' fetch a screech 
 outen huhseff dat mos' skeeuh de bah he'seff. 
 Dat bean des' when she hatchin' dem aigs, an' 
 
Scornful Sue and Lean Lucinda. 185 
 
 when de owls w'at come outen dem aigs grow 
 up, w'at yo' tink, suh ! Dey kin screech like 
 wile Injins, an' so dey bean screech owls evuh 
 since, wiv a monst'us feah fo' bahs,, suh. 
 
 " 'Peahs dat 'fo' Junipuh Blue he skittuh 'way 
 fum de Cape Fair kentry he write to he Aunt 
 Mabel and tell huh how de screech owl's giz- 
 zuhd done bean tu'n ag'in him, so w'en 'Cindy 
 Chopup she 'peah in de Drowndin' Creek kentry 
 to 'quiah 'bout Junipuh, Junipuh's folks dey 
 know all de fac's in de case. 
 
 '^ ' Whah dat fool nigguh gone to ? ' Aunt 
 Mabel she holluh when 'Cindy 'peah dah an' 
 'quiah 'bout Junipuh. ' I nevuh kin tell yo' 'kaze 
 I doan' know.' 'Peahs lack duh ain' nobody in 
 de Cape Fair kentry w'at knows a t'ing ! Why 
 doan' yo' go meet a bah in de woods ? Ef yo' 
 des' only meet a bah dat bah bean sahtin to 
 skeeuh dat screech-owl chahm outen yo' so quick 
 yo' t'ink it nevuh bean dah ! Go meet a bah an' 
 cease yo' pinin' ! ' Aunt IMabel she holluh. 
 ' But I hope I woan' be t'inkin' 'bout yo' w'en yo' 
 meet de bah, fo' den de pine boun' to hit me ! If 
 anybody in dis hyuh wide wul' bean tinkin' o' yo' 
 w'en yo' meet dat bah, I pity dat pusson ! ' 
 Aunt Mabel she holluh. 
 
1 86 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 ^' Po' 'Cindy, she skittuh 'way from dah, tink- 
 in' Junipuh's folks dey been pokin' fun at huh, 
 an' doan' know whah she done gwan to, an' 
 pinin' an' pinin'. Bahmby she slump along in a 
 big woods, an' 'fo' she know it — whoosh ! rise a 
 wild and rippinacious bah outen de bush ! 'Cindy 
 she heah one pow'ful screech scoot outen huh, 
 but she declah dat she nevuh did meek dat 
 screech, 'kaze she tooskeeuht. Debah itskrim- 
 midge away, an' dah 'Cindy she 'skivvuh dat huh 
 pine bean gone ! 
 
 "Junipuh Blue, when he skittuh 'way from de 
 Cape Fair kentry, nevuh did stop till he git 'way 
 down in de Peedee kentry. One day, attuh he 
 git dah he feah dat 'Cindy she track him out an- 
 come dah, he git to tinkin' 'bout huh, an' he 
 feel mighty sorry fo' huh, but he mighty glad 
 he 'scape huh. Des' w'ile he tinkin' dat a-way ef 
 a pine fo' 'Cindy di'n teck him ! an' he pine an' he 
 pine so fo' huh, dat he skrimmidge back to de 
 Cape Fair kentry to git huh. He foun' huh, but 
 she tu'n up huh nose an' sco'n him ! Den he fine 
 dat des' de time he git dat pine fo' 'Cindy it bean 
 des' de time when de bah skeeuht de pine fo' 
 Junipuh 'way from 'Cindy ! Now, w'at yo' t'ink 
 o' dat, suh ? Ain' dat scarrifyin' mos' beyon' 
 
Scornful Sue and Lean Lucinda. 187 
 
 belief, suh ? " said the Black Homer of Jim- 
 town. 
 
 The Northerner had to admit that the circum- 
 stance tried credulity somewhat. 
 
 "But/' continued the Black Homer, " Junipuh 
 he done tell me so heseff, an' ef anybody ottuh 
 know, it bean him, 'kaze he wuz dah ! Well, suh, 
 'Cindy she sco'n an' sco'n Junipuh, an' tu'n up 
 huh nose at him, an' treat him shameful. But 
 he pine an' pine fo' huh, an' cain't give huh up, 
 an' when he fine she boun' to be cruel to him to 
 huh dyin' day, he des' tu'n to an' slump froo de 
 woods, hopin' an' prayin' to meet a wild an' rap- 
 pinacious bah face to face, so it kin skeeuh dat 
 screech owl pine 'way fum him, so he kin sheck 
 de mud o' de Cape Fair kentry offen he heels 
 an' skrimmidge 'way fum dah ! 
 
 "It's pow'ful queeuh, suh, dat yo' ain't see 
 Junipuh Blue nowhah in yo' slumpin'roun' in de 
 woods, or dat dey doan' tell yo' 'bout him long 
 fo' dis. Pow'ful queeuh, suh ! " concluded the 
 black Homer ; but it did not strike the Northern 
 man that way. 
 
KING BIP. 
 
KING BIP. 
 
 The Tale of the Proud Slave Who Scorned Serv- 
 itude, to the Contempt of the Black Homer's 
 Mammy, and ^Yho Fled to Freedom and Met a 
 Fate that Made Him More than a King. 
 
 Long time "fo' de wab, ol' mahs' he have to 
 
 meek a trip to No'wleens, an' he fetch back wiv 
 
 'im a new nigguh w'at he done buy on de levy. 
 
 Dat new nigguh man bean de blackest I evuh 
 
 did see, suh. He a lackly young buck, but 
 
 black ! Um-m-m — um ! how black dat man 
 
 bean ! 'Peahs to me ef yo' dab tah on dat nig- 
 
 guh's cheek it done look lack a white mahk, suh ! 
 
 Pow'ful black, he wuz, pow'ful ! An' de eye dat 
 
 man had ! 'Peahs lack it bu'n a hole clean froo 
 
 yo' w'en he tu'n dat eye squah on yo' ! An' he 
 
 tote he haidmonst'us high, an' stret lack he t'ink 
 
 duh ain' no one on dat plahntation des' as good 
 
 as him. But he been kyine to all us dahkeys, 
 
 191 
 
192 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 if he do feel lack he 'way 'bove us, an' he wuck 
 in de field willin' as kin be, but all de tahm he 
 act des' lack he done bean doin' ol' mahsuh 
 mighty big favuh, an' des' lack mahsuh ottuh bean 
 wuckin' fo' him, 'sted o' him wuckin'fo' mahsuh. 
 But ol' mahs' he teck a pow'ful fancy to dis hyuh 
 new nigguh, an' t'ink he de bes'es' one he got on 
 the plahntation. Dat doan' meek no diff'ence to 
 de new nigguh, not a teeny bit, an' he done 
 tote he haid high, an' flash he eye, an' stret des' 
 de same. 
 
 Dis hyuh mighty proud man's name it bean 
 Bip, an' bahmby I done git tahdde way he stride 
 'roun' lack he a lion in a cage an' we bean only 
 des' tomcats, an' I say : 
 
 " Puh ! Waffo' yo' swuU up so pow'ful big ! 
 Waffo' yo' done tote yo' haid so high, an' stret 
 lack yo' bean a Leftenant in de Cha'Istown 
 Blues ? Puh ! Yo' des' only a common nigguh, 
 on ol' mahsuh's plahntation ! Dat's all ! " 
 
 Den Bip he frow up he haid an' fold he ahms 
 'cross he ches' an' flash he eye an' say : 
 
 " I'se wuckin' on dis hyuh plahntation des' 
 lack de res' de cattle, dat's so ! " he sa3^ " But 
 I ain' got no right to be doin' it ! I ain' no com- 
 mon nigguh ! I'se a kino; i I'se a king ! " 
 
King Bip. 193 
 
 Den Bip he done poim' he ches' wiv he fis', 
 an' frow he haid highuh an' highuh, an' flash he 
 eye till I quaviih in my feet, an' mos' seenk 
 whah I Stan' ! I heah, many times, 'bout de 
 King o' de Cannibal Islan's, an' I t'ink mebbe 
 Bip done bean dat hongry chap, an' gwan to 
 gobble me 'kase I bean so peeuht wiv him, an' I 
 spec' he see I mos' skeeuht to deif an' feel sorry 
 fo' me, 'kase bahmby he come off he high hoss, 
 an' we wuck along in de field ag'in, an' he done 
 tol' me 'bout heseff. 
 
 "Why!" he say. ''I 'membuh w'en I live 
 wiv my fadduh an' my mudduh, 'way ovuh in 
 Aff'ky, an' dough I done bean des' a piccaninny, 
 5, 6 yeah ol' I know my fadduh an' mudduh dey 
 bean King an' Queen o' dat kentry, an' rule a 
 mighty heap o' folks. ^Nly fadduh he wo' a 
 monst'us big gol' ring in he nose, an' my mudduh 
 she have eahrings big roun' as a teacup, an' brace- 
 lets on huh ahms an' ankles. 'Peahs to me 
 she doan' waiuh a pow'ful sight else but dem 
 rings an' bracelets, an' my fadduh's gahments 
 dey mighty skeeuhs, but nobody doan' come nigh 
 'em 'cep' dey bow 'way down to de groun'. Dey 
 pow'ful mona'chs, my fadduh an' mudduh, an' 
 all dat kentry an' all dem heaps o' people dey 
 13 
 
194 The Black Homer of JImtown 
 
 done gwan t' be mine, 'kase I de prince o' dat 
 house, but one day 'nudduh king he resh on us 
 wiv he tribe 'fo' we done spec' he nigh, an' 
 cotch us all an' tie us up, an' mahch us, mahch 
 us, mahch us, days an' days, till we ritch de sea, 
 an' den a lot o' white men dey teck us 'way in 
 boats, an' I nevuh see my fadduh no mo'. Dey 
 frow me an' my mudduh on a ship wiv heaps an' 
 heaps mo' cullud folks, an' sail us cross de sea 
 to Cuby. Dah dey put my mudduh, de queen, 
 wuckin' in de sugah plahntation, an' I live in de 
 mahsuh's house till I grow up, an' den one day, 
 while my mudduh bean wuckin' in de cane, dey 
 sell me to go to dis kentry, an' I nevuh did see 
 my mudduh no mo'. Dat ten yeahs ago, an' I 
 wuck in de Loosyanna sugah fields an' on de 
 levies till yo' ol' mahs' he buy me an' fotch me 
 heah. Dat's why I done tote my haid high and 
 stret. I ain' no common nigguh ! I'se a king ! 
 I'se a king ! I show yo' some day wevvuh I got 
 a right to be hyuh ! I show yo' ! " 
 
 Dat's w'at Bip he done tol' me, suh, an' I des' 
 guess I di'n go an' be peeuht wiv him no mo ' I 
 No, suh ! An' I tol' my ol' mammy 'bout Bip 
 bein' a king, an' how she bettuh be keeuhful how 
 she done joggle him, an' she snickuh an' say : 
 
King Bip. 195 
 
 " Doan' yo' be a fool nigguh, chile ! Dis de 
 Ian' o' de free, an' kings ain' no bettuh hyuh dan 
 mule drivuhs is. De las' king w'at try to hoi 
 he haid up an' stret in dis hyuh kentrybean dat 
 ol' king w'at send de Breetesh ovuh hyuh to run 
 t'ings, an' w'atyo' ol' mahsuh's fadduh done he'p 
 sen' back ag'in wiv a flea in dey eahs. Sho ! 
 Dis hyuh Bip bettuh be keeuhful wiv he high 
 haid an' he stret, or fus^ t'ing he know mahs' he 
 lay de black snake on 'im ! Doan' yo' be fool 
 nigguh, chile ! Dis de Ian' o' freedom, an' mahs' 
 he done whup de gizzuhd oat'n dat big-feelin' 
 fiel' han' Bip ef he doan' quit t'inkin' it ain't ! " 
 
 But, des' de same, I caiir't he'p feelin' dat 
 Bip bean a king, an' I kyine o' scrooch w'en he 
 came roun'. One mo'nin' Bip he doan' tu'n out 
 wid de rest of us to go to de fiel', an' de ove'- 
 seeuh he luke ev'whah but cain't fine hide no' 
 haiuh of 'im. Bip he done gone, sho's yo' 
 bo'n ! 
 
 *' Jicketty ! " I say. "Dat oncommon nigguh 
 done p'intin' fo' Aff'ky to git he kingdom back! 
 Dat's w'at he is ! " 
 
 " He done p'intin' fo' Can'dy, dah's whah he 
 done p'intin' fo' ! '' my ol' mammy say. "An' 
 w'en dey cotch 'im an' fotch 'im back, he be 
 
196 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 mighty sorry he try to git 'way fum dis hyuh 
 Ian' o' freedom ! " 
 
 Dey call out de dogs, an' bahmby de dogs 
 dey fine Bip's track, an' 'way dey go, whoo, 
 whoop ! It lead 'em plumb todes de big gum 
 swamp, an' swush ! into it dey go, ol' mahsuh 
 an' de ove'seeuh close ahine 'em. Mos' half a 
 day it go 'fo' we done heah from 'em, an den oV 
 mahsuh an' the ove'seeuh dey come back alone. 
 Whah de dogs? An' whah Bip ? 'Way off, 
 deep in de swamp, de dogs dey done run Bip 
 down. De ove'seeuh been leadin' ol' mahsuh in 
 de chase, an' he heah de rumpus de dogs meek, 
 an' he meek pov/f ul hase to git back 'fo' dey tah 
 Bip to pieces, 'kaze mahs' often say he woan' 
 take ten hundud doUuh fo' dat nigguh. De 
 ove'seeuh git dah des' as de two dogs meek dey 
 jomp fo' Bip's froat. Bip he standin' wiv he 
 back 'gin a big gum tree, flashin' he eyes, an' he 
 haid frowed high. De dogs bean de bigges' an' 
 feeuhses' bloodhoun's in all dat kentry. Dey 
 jomp fo' Bip's front. Bip he ritch out wiv bofe 
 he ban's, an' he cletch de win'pipe o' one dog wiv 
 one han', an' he cletch de win'pipe o' d' udduh 
 dos: wiv he udduh han', an' dah he hoi' 'em out 
 at ahm's lent', squeezin' de life out'n 'em, while 
 
King Bip. 197 
 
 dey kick an' twis' an' wriggle in he mighty cletch. 
 De ove'seeuli he so ove'whem'd wiv s'prise, he 
 des' Stan' dah lack he done took root in de 
 swamp, an' w'en he git he senses back, Bip bean 
 tah'n away out o' sight in de tangle, an' de dogs 
 dey bean stretch daid at de foot o' de big gum 
 tree, wiv dey eyes squeezed 'way out on dey 
 cheeks. OF mahs' he done come up des' den. 
 
 ^^ Whah he is ? " he puff, he breff mos' gone. 
 
 De ove'seeuh he des' p'int to de dogs layin' 
 dah choked to deff. He cain't say a wud. 
 Mahs' he look, an' he know. 
 
 "What a monst'us good nigguh dat Bip is!" 
 he say. ''It a mighty shame if he git up Norf 
 dah, an' stahv to deff ! We mus' put mo' dogs 
 attuh him ! " 
 
 So dey kim back an' git mo' dogs, an' whoop 
 'em 'long de trail. De dogs dey desp'rit eaguh 
 to git hold o' dat runaway till dey come to whah 
 d 'udduh two dogs lay daid, wiv dey eyes belgin' 
 out. Den dey stop an' sniff an' luke pow'ful 
 skeeuht, an' dey woan' go 'nudduh step on de 
 trail, suh ? No, suh ! Not 'nudduh step, an' 
 mahsuh no' de ove'seeuh cain't make 'em ! So 
 dah ain' nuffin' fo' to do but to come back an' 
 'lahm de kentry all roun' an' wahn folks to keep 
 
1 98 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 a right smaht eye out fo' Bip, an' fotch 'im back 
 to ol' mahsuh w'en dey fine 'im. But dey nevuh 
 did fine 'im, suh ! No, suli ! Dey nevuh did. 
 Ev' time I t'ink o' Bip attuli he gone I say : 
 
 '^ He a king, sho'ly, an' he des' natch'ly gone 
 back to Aff'ky to git he kingdom ! " 
 
 But I doan' say dat to my ol' mammy no mo', 
 'kaze she desp'rit put out at Bip fo' skitin' 'way 
 fum dat dah Ian' o' freedom, an' she swat me, 
 sho's yo' bo'n ! 
 
 Dis hyuh done happen in de ahly spring, an' 
 long todes de eend o' summuli one day dah come 
 a queeuli-lookin' man to de plahntation. He wo' 
 long hah, an' booshy w'iskuhs, an' a wool hat. 
 
 " Dis hyuh de McKeevuh plahntation ? " he say. 
 
 Mahsuh tol' him dat dah bean de McKeevuh 
 plahntation. 
 
 " Dis hyuh Gunnel McKeevuh ? " de stranguh 
 say. 
 
 " Yes, suh," mahs' he say. 
 
 '' Yo' done los' a nigguh name Bip.'"' de 
 stranguh he say. 
 
 " No, suh ! " mahs' he say. " De nigguh name 
 Bip he don los' heself ! " 
 
 '' No diff'nce ! " de stranguh he say, wavin' he 
 ban', " I come hyuh to buy dat nigguh j " 
 
King Bip. 199 
 
 or mahs' he luke at dat man lack he t'ink he 
 crazy. 
 
 " Waffo' yo' talk dat a- way, man ? " mahs' he 
 say. '•' How kin I sail yo' dat nigguh w'en I ain't 
 got 'im to sail } " 
 
 *^ No diff'nce ! " de man he say, wavin' he 
 han' ag'in. '' I done got 'im ! No, I hain', 
 needuh ! He done got me ! " 
 
 or mahs' he luke at dat man some mo', an' 
 den he git pow^ful mad, an' swah desp'rites' 
 kyine. 
 
 '•'Yo' got my nigguh?" he holluh. ^' Waffo 
 yo' doan' fotch 'im back, den ! Waffo' yo' doan' 
 fotch 'im back ? Dat man Bip wuff mo'n ten 
 hund'd dolluhs, suh ! " 
 
 " I done give yo' mo'n ten hund'd dolluhs fo' 
 'im ! " de man he holluh, des' as loud as ol' 
 mahsuh, but not mad; des' eaguh. 
 
 Den mahs' he luke pow'ful s'prise, but he 
 danduh it keep riz, an' he holluh : 
 
 "Yo' fotch my nigguh back or I meek yo' 
 wush yo' nevuh been bo'n, suh ! Yo' got my 
 nigguh ! Waffo' yo' doan' fotch him back ? " 
 
 " Gunnel," de man he say, kyine o' soovin', 
 " des' yo' hahk to me ! Des' yo' hahk to me a 
 spell, an' I done tell yo' why I doan' fotch 'im 
 
200 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 back. I live 'way, 'way ovuh yon in de Tennes- 
 see mountains. Right in de wilduhnus, suh, 
 lack John de Baptis', only John de Baptis' he 
 nevuh did have a wife an' chillun, an' I doan' 
 live on locus'es and wile honey. I live on co'n 
 bread an' bah meat and ven'zun. I live up dah 
 in de wilduhness, 'kase I doan' lack de ways o' 
 de wul', an' my wife she doan' lack de ways o' 
 de wul', and my chillun dey des natch'ly live dah 
 wiv us. So we move into dat wilduhness, rise a 
 face camp, an' settles down snugges' kyine, suh. 
 Neighbuhs dey bean pow'ful skeeuhce, an' dey 
 weekeduh dan dey is skeeuhce, an' I pritch de 
 gospel to 'em ef I git de chance, tryin' to tu'n 
 'em fum dey weeked ways. But dey 's mighty 
 stubb'n ! Mighty stubb'n, suh ! 
 
 *' Des' 'bout a week now I keel couple o' fat 
 deeuhs in de wudes, an' fotch 'em in an' heng 
 'em at de front do' o' de face camp. De front 
 do' of a face camp, suh, is de hull o' dat side o' 
 de cabin, so's de air, an' de light o' de moon, an' 
 de rain, too, dey have plenty room to git in. I 
 heng dem deeuhs up at de front do' o' de camp, 
 an' in de night de dogs dey week me up wiv dey 
 despr'it bahkin', an' I rise up in de bunk. De 
 free chillun dey sleepin' in 'nudduh bunk des' 
 
King Bip. 201 
 
 ovuh dat un. De moon shinin' lack day in de 
 camp, an' I see two big balls out do's, w'at snick 
 out'n de wudes to steal dem deeuh coccuss. De 
 noise it week up de wife an' de chillun, an' dey 
 see w'at meek de trouble, an' dey scream an' 
 holluh pow'ful. V\"en de bahs see de dogs, dey 
 resh at 'em, an' de dogs dey scrummidge plumb 
 into de camp. De bahs dey swoop in attuh de 
 dogs. I jomp fum bed des' den, an' de bahs 
 mos' run me dov/n an' tromp me in de groun'. 
 Fust ting I do I he'p my wife up to de bunk 
 whah de chillun is, out'n ritch o' de trouble, as I 
 done t'ink. Nex' t'ing I know I bean mixed up 
 wiv dogs an' bahs in de desp'rites' skrimmidge 
 w'at evuh happen in de Tennessee mountains. 
 Dey cram me 'gin de eend de cabin, an' it only 
 des' bean pine sidin', right unduh de bunks, 
 an' de cabin it sheck an' tremble lack it done 
 tumble in a heap nex' minute. I know dat it 
 kin only be des' a leetle spell 'fo' I be ripped to 
 pieces by dem bahs, an' I des' holluh'n to my 
 wife to jomp wiv de chillun an' run fo' dey lives 
 out'n dah, w'en sumpin' dahk'd de moonlight, an' 
 I glance dat way. Wat 'peah'd to be a monst'us 
 big man kim reshin' in de camp. I see a long 
 knife blade shinin' in he han', an' den he bean 
 
202 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 cuttin' an' sloshin' at dem bahs de despr'ites' 
 kyine. I see 'im slide dat knife clean to de belt 
 in one bah, an' it drap like a log ag'in de eend 
 o' de shecky cabin. Des' den d' udduh bah had 
 he fangs mos' fasten in my froat, an' dey bean 
 dah in annuduh second, an' rip it to strings, 
 w'en de man he frow heself on dat bah an' slash 
 it open 'most fum eend to eend. It tumble 
 ag'in de shecky cabin, an' crash ! come de camp 
 down an' kivvuh us deep 'neaf de timbuhs ! 
 
 " I creep out'n dat wrack somehow anudduh 
 an' dig fo' de rest. I heah my wife an' chillun 
 shricken' an' holluh'n, an' I know dey cain't be 
 daid, but de pow'ful man w'at drap in fum some- 
 whah an' save us fum de bahs, I cain't heah 'im, 
 an' I cain't see 'im. I dig out de wife an' de 
 chilluns, an' dey been mo' skeeuht dan hu't. 
 Den we all mine fo' de man, an' bahmby we on- 
 kivvuh him, an' we see dat he black— de blackes' 
 man I evuh did see, suh ! He monst'us to' up 
 by bahs, an' he crunched desp'rit by de wrack, 
 an' we t'ink he daid, sho'ly. We pull him out 
 an' do fo' him, an' bahmby he ope' he eyes, an' 
 we know he ain' daid, an' we keep at 'im, and 
 w'en mo'nin' come he kin rise to he feet, but 
 he desp'rit clawed up ! We feel des' lack we 
 
King Bip. 203 
 
 mus' drap on de groun' 'fo' dat man an' wush'p 
 him fo' what he do, but fo' we kin say a wud he 
 rise to he feet, frow up he haid monst'us high, 
 fold he ahms cross he ches', an' say : 
 
 " ' I'se a runaway nigguh ! ' 
 
 " ' No diff'nce ! ' I say. ' Yo' stay right hyuh 
 till yo' git well, an' den we he'p yo' ! ' 
 
 " Den he wilt right down, suh, an' tell us how 
 he feel he bean made to be a mastuh heseff, not 
 a slave, an' how he run away fum yo', suh, dough 
 yo' bean pow'ful kyine mastuh, an' he bean free 
 months getting to de Tennessee mountains on 
 his way Norf, an' how he happen to stumble on 
 my camp des'asde bah wus rippin' me to pieces, 
 an' des' pitch in an' save ouh lives, suh. " 
 
 " I meek up my min' dat very minute, an' I 
 des' stay dah long enough to rise anudduh 
 camp, an' den tell Bip — he tol' me he name — to 
 stay dah till I come back, 'kase I gwan 'way on 
 some business, an' I junneyovuh hyuh, suh, an' 
 I want to buy dat nigguh ! I mus' own dat nig- 
 guh, suh ! " 
 
 or mahs' he listen to all dat story, an' some- 
 times he breave hahd an' git mois' in he eye, but 
 w'en de stranguh say he mus' own dat nigguh, 
 he danduh rise ag'in, an he swah an holluh : 
 
204 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 " What ! Yo' ongrateful hippincrit ! Altuh 
 w'at he done do fo' yo', yo' want to own dat nig- 
 guh ! I desp'rit notion to squash yo' to de 
 groun' ! " 
 
 " Des hahk a minute, Gunnel ! " de man he 
 say. " I mus' own dat nigguh ! I mus' own dat 
 nigguh 'kase I want to set him free, an' let him 
 go whah he please in dis hyuh wide wul' ! " 
 
 " I be damn if yo' do ! " ol' mahs' he holluh. 
 '' Dat nigguh wuff mo'n ten hund'd doUuhs, an' 
 I woan' sell 'im to you,' an' yo' nevuh shall set 
 'im free ! No, suh ! I'll set 'im free myseff, 
 suh ! " 
 
 An' ol' mahs' he done draw up de papuhs 
 w'at sot Bip free, an' give 'em to de man fum de 
 Tennessee mountains, an' de man he des' 
 natch'ly mos' cry he eyes out, an' go away sayin' 
 ol' mahsuh boun' to go plumb to heaven, sho's 
 he bo'n ! But my o' mammy she desp'rit put out. 
 
 " Mahs' he done gwan crazy, dat a fac' ! " she 
 say. " Sho ! Castin' dat nigguh out o' dis hyuh 
 Ian' o' freedom on to de col' wul' lack dat ! " 
 
 Time it jog on an' jog on, an' we doan' heah 
 no mo' o' Bip, 'cep' de t'ankful wuds he send 
 mahsuh in a lettuh fum de Tennessee mountain 
 man. 
 
King Bip. 205 
 
 Den bahmby de wah it done come along. 
 Times dey gittin' mighty hot, an' mahsuh jine 
 de ahmy to go he'p swip de Yankees back fum 
 dat dah Ian' o' freedom. 
 
 " Dey mus' be gittin' desp'rit weak up Norf," 
 mahs' he say. " Dey send'n' nigguh sojuhs down 
 hyuh to he'p 'em ! " 
 
 Mahsuh go to de wah, an' he a pow'fulfightuh. 
 On day in a monst'us hahd battle he fine heseff 
 cut off from he men an' s'rounded by a heap o' 
 Yankees. He cut an' slash an' fight lack a 
 tiguh, but dah bean too many 'gin him. He lose 
 he pistols an' he sawd, an' a Yankee sojuh have 
 he gun aim plumb at mahsuh's haht. Des' den 
 a nigguh sojuh come reshin' froo, frowin' d' 
 udduh sojuhs heah an' dah lack chaff befo' de 
 win'. He dash heself 'gin ol' m.ahsuh des' de 
 time dat Yankee sojuh pull de trigguh of de gun 
 w'athe aim' plumb at mahsuh's haht. De bullet 
 it sink in dat po' nigguh sojuh 'sted of in ol' 
 mahsuh, des' as mahsuh see him an' know him 
 an' holluh : 
 
 "Bip!" 
 
 Yes, suh ! It bean Bip. He des' nod he haid 
 an' smile, an' die in ol' mahsuh's ahms ! 
 
 When mahsuh come home fum de wah an' 
 
2o6 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 tell 'bout dat, I des' belluh lack a baby, an' say, 
 an' say to dis day : 
 
 " Po' Bip ! A king ? Sho ! Mo' dan a king 
 he bean, sho'ly ! " 
 
THE BONES OF BOZAR BUNN. 
 
THE BONES OF BOZAR BUNN. 
 
 Being the Marvelous Tale of How They were 
 Scattered and Found Agam after the Persist- 
 ent Visits of the Boisterous Spooks and the 
 Specter Dog. 
 
 One time, oh, so long ago dat my ol' mammy 
 she only des' 'membuh it 'kaze huh ol' mammy 
 done tol' huh 'bout it, man named 'Kiah Juffkin 
 hekimdown yon 'long de Cape Fair Rivuh an' 
 teck a plahntation. He bean monst'ous queeuh 
 man, dat 'Kiah Juffkin bean, an' he sistuh Joan 
 she bean mighty queeuh wooman. Dey bofe 
 mighty ol', an' dey done look so scraggy and 
 skimpy dat ev'body down dah dey fowt shy of 'em, 
 and a heap o' people say : 
 
 " Huh ! Des' yo' mine w'at we done tell yo' ! 
 
 Dem Juffkinses dey bean hoodoos ! Des' yo' 
 
 mine ! Dey hoodoo somebody 'round hyuh, fus' 
 
 t'ing yo' know ! " 
 
 209 
 
210 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 But dey nevuh did hoodoo nobody roun' dah, 
 not 'co'din' to w'at my ol' mammy evuh heah 
 huh ol' mammy say, but dey done do wussuh 
 t'ing dan hoodoo ! Sho ! I des' bet ol' Satan he 
 bean mos' lahfin' heseff to deff, dese yeahs an' 
 yeahs, suh, seein' 'Kiah Juffkin an' he sistuh 
 Joan roas'in' an' toas'in' an' weepin' an' wailin' 
 an' gnashin' dey teef ! 
 
 Bozuh Bunn he bean a peddluh w'at done tote 
 he pack froo dat kentry so long dat ev'body 
 know him des' lack dey know dey ownseff. An' 
 dey know Bozuh's ol' w'ite dog des' well dey 
 know Bozuh, an' ef some time Bozuh he happen 
 to come 'long dat a-way, an' dey doan' see dat dog 
 joggin' 'long close 'hind Bozuh's heels, my ol' 
 mammy say she bet dey holluh : 
 
 " Jicketty ! Dis hyuh wul' comin' to an end, 
 sho'ly." 
 
 One day Bozuh he leave de Chink plahnta- 
 tion, whah he done sell some o' he goods, an' say 
 he gwan to de Dubbs plahntation. De Dubbs 
 plahntation bean eight miles fudduh on, an' 
 night it mos' fallin'. So de Chink folks dey say : 
 
 " Reckon yo' bettuh stay hyuh till mo'nin', 
 Bozuh." 
 
 But Bozuh he say, " Cain't do it. Dey 'spect- 
 
The Bones of Bozar Bunn. 211 
 
 in' me to de Dubbs plahntation to-night. I got 
 mighty fine t'ings fo' Janey, w'at gwan to git 
 mah'd, an' she be pow'ful dis'pinted if I doan' 
 git dah to-night." 
 
 So 'way Bozuh he go, de ol' w'ite dog joggin' 
 close 'hind he heels. Nex' day young ]\[ahsuh 
 Joe Dubbs he kim to de Chink plahntation. 
 
 " Bozuh Bunn bean hyuh .'' " he say. 
 
 De Chink folks dey say, " Why, sho'ly ! " 
 
 " Whah he done gone .'' " young Mahsuh Joe 
 he say. 
 
 De Chink folks, dey say : " Why, he done gone 
 to your plahntation lahs' night ! " 
 
 " He nevuh did git dah ! " young Mahsuh Joe 
 he say. 
 
 An' he nevuh did, suh ! Nevuh ! Folks dey 
 inquiah ev'whah. Lahs' anybody done see o' 
 Bozuh, Sam Pool he meet him an' he dog, nigh 
 de Juffkin cabin dat night, des' 'bout dahk. 
 Folks go dis a-way, dat a-way, all roun' de ken- 
 try, but nobody nevuh see po' Bozuh no' he dog 
 attuh dat. Den folks dey 'gin to talk. 
 
 "Jicketty!'' dey say. ''Nobody doan' spec' 
 Bozuh an' he dog done bean snatch up an' toted 
 'way to de skies, lack ol' 'Lijuh, does dey ? Co'se 
 not ! Den whah dey is ? Nobody doan' spec' 
 
212 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 Bozuh an' he dog done sonk down to de bottom- 
 less pit in de twenkle of an eye, does dey ? Co'se 
 not ? Den whah dey is ? We done tell yo' vvhah 
 dey is ! " folks gin to say. " Dey's whah ol' 'Kiah 
 Juffkin an' he sistuh Joan done put 'em ! Dah's 
 whah dey is ! " 
 
 Dis hyuh bean pow'ful strong talk, an' bahmby 
 ev'body dey t'ink it mus' be de troof, sho'ly, an' 
 dey go up to de Juffkin plahntation to see 'bout 
 it. Nobody dah ! Cabin empty as a dippuh 
 tu'n upside down, suh ! 'Kiah an' Joan dey 
 done gone, an' nobody 'cep' ol' Satan, who done 
 bean dey stiddy company ev' sence, suh, nevuh 
 did see 'em no mo'. 
 
 Time it pahs, an' pahs, an' pahs. Nobody 
 keeuh to teck up de Juffkin plahntation, an' it 
 lie dah desp'rit spooky. Den 'long kim Mahs' 
 Henry Dew, fum down in de Peedee kentry. 
 
 ''Why!" he say. " W^affo' dat plahntation 
 gwan to shucks ? " 
 
 Folks dey done tell him why dat plahntation 
 gwan to shucks. 
 
 " Poof ! " he say. " I teck dat plahntation ! '* 
 
 An^ Mahs' Henry done teck it, an' he tah 
 down de ol' cabin, an' 'gin to dig foundation fo' 
 new one. He men dey ain't dig mo'n free feet 
 
The Bones of Bozar Bunn. 213 
 
 'fo dey tu'n up a heap o' bones ! De men dey 
 drap dey tools an' run. 
 
 " Mahs' Henry ! Mahs' Henry ! " dey holluh. 
 " We done fine po' Bozuh's bones ? " 
 
 " How yo' know dey Bozuh's bones ? " Mahs' 
 Henry he say. 
 
 " Mus' be Bozuh's bones, Mahs' Henry ! " dey 
 holluh. '' Ain' no udduh pusson 'cep' Bozuh 
 los' any bones "roun' hyuh, suh." 
 
 But Mahs' Henry he say. " Poof ! Meb' dey's 
 Bozuh's bones and meb' dey ain't. S'pose dey 
 is? Bozuh doan' want 'em no mo'. Dey ain' 
 no use to Bozuh." 
 
 So Mahs' Henry he teck an' chuck de bones 
 off in de bresh. 
 
 " Dah," he say ; " fus' time Bozuh comes 'long 
 dis a-way 'quiah'n fo' he bones, des' tell him dey 
 layin' ovuh yon in de bresh, an' if he want 'em 
 he kin go git 'em ! " 
 
 Mahs' Henry he lahf lack he mos' tickle to 
 deff wiv he joke, but bahmby time kim w'en he 
 lahf on d'udduh side he face, suh ! Bahmby de 
 new house it done, an' Mahs' Henry he fotch he 
 folks an' move in. Dey ain' got squah settle 
 down yit, 'fo' a pow'ful oneasy ghos' it 'gin to 
 come dah an' mingle wiv 'em, an' skeeuh 'em 
 
214 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 mos' out dey senses, suh ! It done kick ovuh de 
 cheeuhs an' de tables, an' it breck de deeshes in 
 de pahntry, an' it rattle de windows an' bang de 
 do's desp'rites' kyine. Ev' day dis hyuh ghos' 
 do dat, an' nobody kin see him, o' co'se. An' 
 ev' night dis hyuh ghos' it keep a sheckin' suffin' 
 'bout Mahs' Henry's eahs, when he go to bed, 
 an' dat sheckin' it des' natch'ly soun' like nuffin' 
 but bones in a bag, suh ! Den, ev' little w'ile, 
 de win' it swip an' swoop froo de house lack it 
 chasin' suffin' mighty fas', an' duh ain' no window 
 open fo' dat win' to get in ! An' duh ain' no 
 win' blowin' on de outside, anyhow, suh ! Dat 
 bean a mighty peeuht ghos' ! Mighty peeuht, 
 suh ! 
 
 An' w'at mo' yo' t'ink ? Jicketty ! I des' 
 natch'ly git creepy all ovuh to t'ink of it my 
 ownseff ! A big w'ite dog, it teck to comin' 
 d'ah. Dey see him plain 'nough, but w'en dey 
 t'ink dey go nigh him, sometimes he des' float up 
 lack a fedduh, an' sometimes he des' fade 'way 
 lack he nev' been dah at all ! An' all de time he 
 look monst'ous feeuhs, an' snap an' snahl an' 
 gnash he teef ! 
 
 Den folks dey 'gin to say : " Huh, huh ! Dat's 
 po' Bozuh Bunn an' he ol' w'ite dog ! Dat's who 
 
The Bones of Bozar Bunn. 215 
 
 it is ! Mahs' Henry an' he folks dey nev' have 
 no peace no' mo', 'less dey done git Bozuh's 
 bones togevvuh an' put 'em whah dey keep ! 
 BozLih he only des' back hyuh 'quiah'n fo' he 
 bones, an' de dog he back hyuh to he'p him git 
 'em ! Dat's all ! " 
 
 Mahs' Henry he cain't do nuffin' but t'ink so, 
 too, but he pow'ful stubb'n, an' one night, w'en 
 dat ghos' bean sheckin' he bag roun' Mahs' 
 Henry's haid, Mahs' Henry he holluh : 
 
 " Look-a hyuh, yo' Bozuh ! Waffo' yo' doan' 
 go off yon in de bresh an' git yo' ol' bones ! I 
 ain' got yo' bones ! Dey off yon in de bresh ! I 
 ain' got no time to gevvuh up ol' bones ! Ef yo' 
 done want yo' bones, waffo' yo' doan' go off yon 
 in de bresh an' git 'em ? Yo' mos' onreasonbles' 
 ghos' I ev' see ! G'way f um hyuh ! " 
 
 But dat ghos' it doan' pay no 'tention to !Mahs' 
 Henry, an' de tables an' de cheeuhs dey done 
 keep upsettin', an' de deeshes dey done breck, 
 breck, breck, an' de win' it done whush froo dat 
 house, an' rattle an' bang de windows, mo' and 
 mo', an' wussuh dan evuh. An' de ghos' dog ! 
 Jicketty ! How he do git madduh an' madduh ! 
 Um-m-m — um ! how dat ghos' dog do git mad- 
 duh an' madduh ! Bahmby Mahs' Henry's wife 
 
2i6 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 she des' done cain't stan' it no longuh. She nigh 
 crazy, an' one day she say : 
 
 " Yo', Henry Dew ! Ef yo' doan' go gevvuh 
 up po' Bozuh's bones an' phihnt 'em in de groun' 
 lack Chreestian men ot a-be, so Bozuh kin git 
 he 'tahnal res', den I done gwan to do it myseff, 
 suh ! I bean gittin' pow'ful tahd o' dis 
 hyuh ! " 
 
 But Mahs' Henry he mighty stubb'n, an' he 
 swah an' swah, an' say damn ef he do it ! 
 
 Den Mahs' Henry's wife she bean good as 
 huh wud, suh, an' she done jog out to de bresh 
 to gevvuh up po' Bozuh's bones an' plahnt 'em 
 lack Chreestian bones ot a-be, butw'atyo' t'ink? 
 She sahch an' she sahch in de bresh, but she 
 cain't only des' fine two, free little pieces o' 
 Bozuh ! 'Peahs lack po' Bozuh done bean scat- 
 tuh to de win's, suh ! Mahs' Henry's wife she 
 pow'ful wuck up ovuh dis hyuh, an' she des' 
 bean meckin' up huh mine to pickhuhseff up an' 
 go back to de ol' Peedee, w'en de troof it breck 
 in on huh. She done scampuh back to de house 
 fas' her laigs kin tote huh. 
 
 " Yo', Henry Dew ! " she holluh. " Yo' hahk 
 to me, suh ! I done spec' yo' doan' know who 
 aiggin' dese hyuh ghos'es on, do yo' ?" 
 
The Bones of Bozar Bunn. 217 
 
 j\Iahs' Henry he say, " Aiggin 'em on ! Poof ! 
 Who could aig a ghos' on ? ' 
 
 " I tell yo' who aiggin' dese hyuh ghos'es on ! " 
 Mahs' Henry's wife she hoUuh. "01' Mahs' 
 Gabr'el heseff ! Dat's who ! 01' Mahs' Gabr'el ! 
 Dat's who aiggin' dese hyuh ghos'es on ! " 
 
 Mahs' Henry he skeeuh a lettle, an' bahmby 
 he say, " Wa-w^a-waffo' kyine o' talk dis hyuh ! " 
 
 *'Yo' hahk to me!" Mahs' Henry's wife she 
 holluh. " I done bean ovuh yon in de bresh to 
 gevvuh up po' Bozuh's bones, an' 'peahs lack 
 dey bean scattuh to do win's, 'kaze I cain't fine 
 only des' two, free little bits ! Whah de res' ? 
 Dat's wat ol' ]\Iahs' Gabr'el he want to know ! 
 Mahs' Gabr'el he gwan to be pow'ful busy w'en he 
 toot he ho'n on de great day ! He cain't teck time 
 to jog all 'roun' dis hyuh Cape Fair kentry gev- 
 vin' up Bozuh's bones, so Bozuh kin rise an' be 
 dah des' like Chreestian people ot a-be ! No, 
 suh ! He want Bozuh all in one heap, an' he done 
 gwan to have him dat a-way, too ! So he des' bean 
 aiggin' dese hyuh ghos'es on, to meek yo' gevvuh 
 dem bones, an' yo' won't nevuh have no res' till 
 yo' done gevvuh 'em. An' yo' hahk to me ! 
 Ef yo' doan' gevvuh dem bones an' plahnt 'em 
 lack Chreestian bones ot a-be, whah yo' spec 
 
2i8 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 yo' fine yoseff w'en Mahs' Gabr'el toot he ho'n ? 
 Yo' done fine yoseff roas'in' an' toas'in', gnashin' 
 yo' teef, nex' do' neighbuh to ol' 'Kiah Juffkin 
 an' he sistuh Joan ! Dah's whah yo' done fine 
 yoseff, suh ! " 
 
 Jicketty ! Dis done skeeiih Mahs' Henry 
 mos' in fits, an' he git ovuh he stub'ness mighty 
 quick, an' declah he staht out dat minute to git 
 po' Bozuh's bones togevvuh. Den he lahn heap 
 o' tings 'bout dem bones. He lahn dey done 
 bean kick roun' by disboy hyuh, an' dat boydah, 
 an' 'nudduh boy ' way ovuh yon. He lahn dat 
 one pusson 'way up de Cape Fair fine dat Bozuh's 
 hip bone it bean pow'fulgood t'ing to crack hick' 
 nuts wiv, and dat pusson done took it up to he 
 plahntation. Mahs' Henry he lahn 'nudduh 
 pusson 'way down de Cape Fair fine Bozuh's shin 
 bone it cain't be beat, suh, fo' scrapin' hah off'n 
 pigs w'en dey bean scald at keelin' time, an' dat 
 pusson done gone took it down to he plahntation. 
 Mahs' Henry he fine dis hyuh bone it bean seen 
 setch a place ; dat dah bone it bean seen setch 
 'nudduh place, J^n' yon bone it bean seen 'nudduh 
 place. 
 
 " Jicketty ! " he say. ' Dis hyuh done gwan to 
 be lack sahchin fo' a needle in haystacks ! " 
 
The Bones of Bozar Bunn. 219 
 
 But ]Mahs' Henry he sahch an' he sahch. He 
 jog hyuh, he jog dah, he jog ev'whah. One by 
 one he gevvuh dem bones an' plahnt 'em side 
 by side, till he have ev' one but po' Bozuh's 
 skell. An' mo' an' mo' bones he gevvuh^ mo' 
 an' mo' dem ghos'es 'peahs to git easy in dey 
 mine. Dat bag it hahdly rattle' 'bout Mahs' 
 Henry's eahs no mo' — des' 'nough to week 'im 
 two, free times ev' night, to 'mind him dat 
 Bozuh's skell it ain't bean foun' yit. De cheeuhs 
 an' de tables dey doan'git kick 'way ovuh no 
 mo', but only des' topple an' tottuh ; an' ef any 
 deeshes done breck, dey bean des' no 'count 
 trash, w'at Mahs' Henry's folks doan' keeuh 
 wevvuh dey breck or not. An' dat ghos' dog ! 
 Jicketty ! He done quit snappin' an' snahlin', 
 an' 'peahs des' lack he feelin' right smaht, an' 
 mos' have a notion to wag he tail J An' dat win' 
 it doan' swoop an' swoosh froo de house an' 
 rattle de winduhs no mo' but des' puff, puff, lack 
 a summuh breeze, suh ! so !Mahs' Henry he say : 
 
 " Dese hyuh ghos'es ain cuttin' up no mo'," 
 he say. "We doan' mine 'em. Guess I tu'n de 
 job o' fin'in Bozuh's skell ovuh to ol' Mahs' 
 Gabr'el w'en he toot he ho'n. I cain't fine it ! " 
 
 Den he done quit sahchin' fo' de skell, an* 
 
220 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 w'at yo' t'ink ? Dem ghos'es dey staht in wus- 
 suh'n evuh, suh, till Mahs' Henry he teck it all 
 back an' 'gin to sahch ag'in fo' Bozuh's skell. 
 He sahch, an' he sahch, an' he sahch, an' he 
 cain^t fine hide no' hah o' dat skell, an' bahmby 
 he say, " I done gwan to skin 'way fum des hyuh 
 kentry ! I ain' gwan to spen' all res' my days 
 sahchin' fo' an' ol' boney skell, Gabr'el or no 
 Gabr'el ! " An' next day Mahs' Henry he skun ! 
 He skun right froo de ol' gum swamp, but he 
 ain' skun fah, suh, w'en a big fat 'possum push 
 up 'haid of him, an' jump up a tree. Dah it sot 
 on a limb, grinnin' down at Mahs' Henry. Dat 
 meek Mahs' Henry pow'ful mad, an' he look 
 'roun' to fine sufhn' to chuck at de 'possum. 
 He s'prise to see a rock lyin' in de roots of a tree 
 nigh dah. 
 
 " Jicketty ! " he hoUuh. " How dat dah rock 
 git in dis hyuh swamp ? " 
 
 He grab fo' de rock to chuck it at de 'possum, 
 an' de rock it rise so sudden w'en he grab it he 
 mos' tumble ovuh backuds. Mahs' Henry he 
 gaze at de rock, an' he eyes pop out o' he haid 
 desp'rites' kyine. Waffo' dey done pop up? 
 Waffo' you spec' dey done pop ? Des' 'kaze w'at 
 he hoi' in he han' ain' no rock at all, suh, but po' ol' 
 
The Bones of Bozar Bunn. 221 
 
 Bozuh's skell. Mahs' Henry he des' lif one 
 yoop out'n hesself, an' away he skun back home. 
 I reckon dah bean de hallylooyuh'nes' time dab 
 den w'at anybody ev' did heah 'long de Cape Fair 
 Rivuh ! An' dey plahnt Bozuh's skell 'longside 
 res' o' he po' ol' bones, an' dem ghos'es dey nevuh 
 did come back no mo'. 
 
 Dat's w'at my ol' mammy done tol' me,, an' 
 huh ol' mammy done tol' huh ; so, I reckon it 
 must be a fac', suh, sho'ly! 
 
THE CRANKY CRANE. 
 
THE CRANKY CRANE. 
 
 Black Homer, Not Committing Himself, Gives 
 His Old Mammy's Version of the Conspiracy 
 between the First Turkey Buzzard and the 
 Original Water Moccasin against the First 
 Crane. 
 
 I DOAx' spec' yo' evuh did heah, suh, dat de 
 crane, dough it mighty fon' o' feesh, doan' evuh 
 eat mullet ? I doan' spec' yo' evuh did heah dat, 
 suh ? I doan' say so ? No, suh, I doan' say so. 
 I doan' say nuffin o' de kyine, suh. I done ax 
 yo' dat I spec' yo' nevuh do heah dat de crane 
 doan' evuh eat mullet. Dat's w'at I done say, 
 suh. I doan' say de crane nevuh do eat mullet. 
 I des' ax yo' dat I spec' yo' nevuh do heah dat 
 it doan'. Do yo' evuh heah dat, suh ."^ No? 
 
 I done t'ink maybe yo' nevuh do heah dat. I 
 
 done t'ink so. Den co'se yo' doan' know dat 
 
 w'en de crane he stan' in de wahtuh on he one 
 15 225 
 
226 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 laig, feeshin', an' no mattuh ef he be hongry de 
 desp'rites' kyine, all de mullets in dat rivuh dey 
 kin skrummige by him an' he nevuh will shoot 
 he neck down to cotch a single one, not ef he 
 Stan' dah an' stahv heseff to deff, suh. Co'se 
 yo' doan' know dat, den. An' co'se, den yo' 
 doan' know dat de wahtuh moc'sins dey des' gloat 
 w'en dey see hongry ol' crane feeshin' fo' he 
 dinnuh, an' skittuh heah an' dah an'ev'whah froo 
 de wahtuh, chasin' all d' udduh kyine o' feesh 
 'way off fum de crane an' chasin' de mullets so 
 dey skrummige right by him, 'kaze de moc'sins 
 dey know de crane he doan' eat mullet, dough de 
 mullet it bean de fattes' an' de juicies' an' de 
 sweetes' feesh in dat wahtuh. An' de moc'sins 
 dey des' lie back an' grin an' hug deysefEs 
 w'en dey do dat, an' t'ink w'at pummeatin' 
 fools de cranes done bean to let all dat lickin' 
 good feesh meat go, des' 'kaze dey b'lieve ef dey 
 gobble a mullet dey boun' to die des' de nex' 
 minute, an' de moc'sins dey know dat dat ain'no 
 setch a t'ing. Co'se yo' doan' know dat, den. 
 An' co'se, den, yo' doan' know dat w'en de tucky 
 buzza'ds dey see a hongry ol' crane feeshin' on 
 he one laig, maybe mo'n half a day many times, 
 an' dey know de sweet an' fat an' juicy mullets 
 
The Cranky Crane. 227 
 
 been skrummigin' right by him, an' all d" udduh 
 kyine o' feesh been skrummigin' 'way off from 
 him, dey des' succle roun' an roun' an' cas' dey 
 eyes down on him, an' lahf to deyseffs an' 
 chuckle, 'kaze dey know, like de wahtuh moc'sin 
 do, why de crane t'ink he cain' eat dem mullets, 
 an' dey know he bein' fooled de monst'uses' 
 kyine, an' dey havin' dey gloat an' dey venge- 
 ance, too, des' like de moc'sin done havin' 
 his'n. Co'se yo' doan' know dat, den. Co'se 
 not. 
 
 Den de fus' t'ing, I mus' wahn yo', an' 'press 
 it on yo' mine, suh, dat I doan' say dat I know 
 dese hyuh t'ings. I doan' say so, suh. I des' 
 only say dat co'se yo' doan' know 'em. Dat's 
 w'at I say, suh. Des' 'membuh dat, an' den yo' 
 woan' fo'git it. I reckon I could know dem 
 t'ings long, long time ago, dough, ef I only could 
 teck de time to watch out fo' dem, but, jicketty ! 
 I t'ink I got a right smaht mo' tings to do dan 
 swabbleate 'long a rivuh, watchin' a hongry ol' 
 crane missin' a mighty line dinnuh 'kaze he a 
 fool an' doan' know it ! An' I doan' t'ink I gwan 
 strain my eyes at dis hyuh time o' life squeejin' 
 'em down unduh de wahtuh des' to see a p'ison 
 moc'sin grin he ugly niouf ! No, suh ! An' I 
 
2 28 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 reckon my eahs kin do bettuh dan frow deyseffs 
 up in de aih des' to hahk ef dey kin heah a raw- 
 head ol' tucky buzza'd chucklin' ! Sho ! I 
 reckon so ! Duh bean a heap o' t'ings on dis 
 hyuii erf, an' unduh dis hyuh erf, an' 'bove dis 
 hyuh erf, suh, dat folks doan' know des' 'kaze 
 dey hain' foun' 'em out ; but dat doan' say dey 
 ain' so, do it ? No, suh ! Jicketty ! Wat a 
 heap o' t'ings duh bean w'at folks doan' know ! 
 An' I reckon dis hyuh done bean one of 'em. 
 
 'Peahs lack my o'l mammy's mammy she know 
 ev't'ing. She live down yon 'long de Cape Fair 
 Rivuh de time w'en mos' ev't'ing mus' bean des' 
 happ'nin', an' ef she doan' see 'em she heah 
 'bout 'em w'ile dey bean fresh, an' she doan' 
 fo'git 'em. But co'se she doan' see dis hyuh 
 happen, 'kaze it happen w'en de fus' crane, an' 
 de fus' wahtuh moc'sin, an' de fus' tucky buzza'd 
 done spreng up, but she heah it straight, suh, 
 an' she done tell it straight to my ol' mammy, 
 an' my ol' mammy done tell it to me. 
 
 " It bean a monst'us shame," my ol' mammy 
 done say, " de way de wahtuh moc'sin an' de 
 tucky buzza'd dey joggle dat po' crane ! Ef I 
 on'y bean dah," she say, " I bet yo' I done 
 scrunch dat moc'sin's haid, an' I des' wring dat 
 
The Cranky Crane. 229 
 
 buzza'd's neck till the fedduhs dey fly lack I 
 bean a wilecat at 'em ! Sho ! Dat monst'us ! " 
 
 'Peahs lack w'en de fus' tucky buzza'd he 
 spreng up he bean pow'ful lonesome, an' he 
 scrummige roun' to see ef duh bean any comp'ny 
 in dem woods. Bahmby he see suffin' on de 
 aidge de rivuh, standin' dah in de wahtuh on 
 one laig, an' dat laig bean mighty long an' slim. 
 An' de suffin 's haid have a long bill^ an' 'peahs 
 lack it shoot squah outen its breas'. De suffin' 
 it look mighty solemn, des' lack it sorry it bean 
 spreng up. 
 
 '"^ Jicketty ! " de tucky buzza'd he say. ^' Dat 
 bean a queeuh t'ing ! Waffo' it on'y got one 
 laig ? An' waffo' it all huffle up dah^ wiv its 
 haid stickin' outen it breas' ? I bet yo' dat dah 
 bean a hoppy toad ! I des' gwan to go ovuh dah 
 an' fine out." 
 
 An' de tucky buzza'd he succle ovuh dah an' 
 light on a limb an' look down on de suffin^ w'at 
 done puzzle him. De suffin' it cock its eye up 
 at de buzza'd, but doan' say a wud. Bahmby 
 de tucky buzza'd he holluh down an' say : 
 
 " W'at yo' is, down dah ? " 
 
 'Peahs lack de suffin' it kyine o' tetch}^ an' it 
 drap anudduh laig w'at bean scrumpled up 
 
230 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 'long its stomach, an' it lift its haid offen its 
 breas', an' it rise a neck up till de suffin's haid 
 mos' ritch up whah de tucky buzza'd done sot 
 on de limb. De tucky buzza'd he so 'flummixed 
 at dis hyuh dat he mos' tumble offen de limb 
 'fo' he kin cotch heseff, an' he rise highuh in 
 de tree, wid he eyes a belgin'. De suffin' it 
 holluh : 
 
 " I'se a crane, I is ! " it holluh to de tucky 
 buzza'd. " Dat's w'at I is ! " 
 
 De tucky buzza'd he git ovuh he flummix, 
 an' he lahf, an' he say : 
 
 '' Sho ! " he say. " W'at a crackinacious fool I 
 done bean ! Co'se yo's a crane ! Anybody kin 
 tell dat, des' to look at yo' ! " he say. 
 
 Den de crane it swoshle down ag'in, wiv its 
 haid on its breas', an' one laig scrumpled up 
 ag'in its stomach. Den bahmby de tucky buz- 
 za'd he holluh : 
 
 " W'at yo' doin' down dah ? '' 
 
 De crane it holluh back : 
 
 " Feeshin' ! " 
 
 Den bahmby de tucky buzza'd he drap down 
 on de groun', but doan' come very nigh de crane, 
 'kaze he ain' des' sahtin 'bout it yit, an' he 
 say : 
 
The Cranky Crane. 231 
 
 " Waffo' yo' feeshin' ? '^ 
 
 " 'Kaze I "Want my dinnuh ! "' de crane say. 
 
 Den de tucky buzza'd he come a leetle nighuh 
 de crane, 'kaze he t'ink he kin do de crane a 
 favuh, an' he face de crane an' say : 
 
 '^ 'Peahs lack yo' done been was'in' yo' time 
 feeshin' fo' yo' dinnuh," he say. " Ef yo' des' 
 come wiv me " 
 
 But all dis time de crane it bean aidgin' 'way 
 from de tucky buzza'd, an' 'fo' de buzza'd kin 
 finish w'at he gwan to say de crane bus' out an' 
 holluh : 
 
 " Phew ! " it holluh. " Go 'way from hyuh ! 
 Yo' breff it 'nuff to kill a Peedee nigguh ! Whoosh! 
 Go 'way, suh ! and teck yo' breff wiv yo' ! 
 Mighty Gabr'el ! " de crane it holluh. " Dat 
 wuss dan de plaig of Idjup ! " 
 
 Now, dat bean a solemn fac', suh. Tucky 
 buzza'ds' breffs, dey bean mighty ramifyin'. To 
 dis very day tucky buzza'ds' breffs is so capa- 
 cious dat if evuh yo' meet one, attuh dat bad 
 aigs dey 'peah to yo' lack honeysuckles in de 
 gahden. But it bean mighty onpolite fo' de 
 crane to declah it so monst'us to dat fus' tucky 
 buzza'd, an' de tucky buzza'd he feel desp'rit 
 hu't in he haht. He w^obble away, an'de fudduh 
 
232 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 he go de mo' he feel hu't, till bahmby he feel 
 pow'ful 'dignant. Den he stop an' brestle up, 
 an' sheck he haid. 
 
 " Dat spindle shank crane done cut me to de 
 haht! " he declah. "Dat crane done insult me 
 monst'us ! Dat a mo'tal insult ! I boun' to fix 
 dat crane, I is ! I boun' to do it ! " 
 
 Den de tucky buzza'd he t'ink very hahd w'at 
 he kin do to fix dat onpolite crane, an' w'ile he 
 t'inkin' he heah suffin' say : 
 
 " W'at de crane done do to yo', suh ? " 
 
 De tucky buzza'd he look dat a-way, an' he 
 see a long, slim creatuh stretch on a rock in de 
 rivuh. It so wiggly an' spotty, an' its eyes dey 
 shine so like fiah, an' its tongue it shoot out an' 
 in so skeery, dat de buzza'd he des' gwan to 
 rise an' succle 'way fum dah, w'en de wiggly t'ing 
 it holluh : 
 
 " Hoi' on, dah ! I'se de wahtuh moc'sin. I 
 ain' gwan to hu't yo' ! I des' lyin' wide aweck, 
 I is, t'inkin' up how I kin scarcify dat monst'us 
 crane ! " 
 
 Den de tucky buzza'd he squattle ag'in, an 
 tell de wahtuh mocsin how de crane done give 
 him de mo'tal insult. 
 
 "Poof!" de wahtuh moc'sin say. ''Dat 
 
The Cranky Crane. 233 
 
 nuffin'. Dat crane it done gobble my nineteen 
 young uns, so it do, lack dey been des so many 
 sugah plums ! An' now de monstuh bean down 
 dah feeshin", hopin' I got mo' young uns to come 
 along fo' it to gobble ! " 
 
 Den de tucky buzza'd an' de wahtuh moc'sin 
 dey 'scuss w'at dey kin do, an' bahmby de tucky 
 buzza'd he lahn dat de wahtuh moc'sin bean a 
 snake wiv a mouf full o' p'ison teef, an' dat ef 
 he bite suffin' dat suffin' it swuU up an' swull up, 
 an" bahmby it boun' to die. An' ef suffin' else it 
 eat dat suffin' w'at de wahtuh moc'sin bite, den 
 de suffin' wa't eat it done boun' to die, too. Den 
 de tucky buzza'd he get a idee. 
 
 " De crane it bean fon' o' feesh, I reckon ? " he 
 says to de wahtuh moc'sin. 
 
 " Pow'ful ! " de wahtuh moc'sin say. 
 
 "Ef de feesh dey 'peah lack dey big an' fat, 
 do de crane lack 'em den ? " de tucky buzzaM 
 say. 
 
 " Um-m-m-m ! " de wahtuh moc'sin say. ' ' Dat 
 des' w'en de crane revel in 'em ! " 
 
 Den de tucky buzza'd eyes dey glisten, an' 
 he tell de wahtuh moc'sin w'at dat idee o' his'n 
 done bean, an' de wahtuh moc'sin des' wriggle 
 an' twis' an' hiss an' shoot he tongue. 
 
234 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 " Mighty Gabr'el ! " he holkih. " Dat mon- 
 st'iis crane nevuh gobble no mo' young uns o' 
 mine ! " 
 
 " Dat crane insult my breff ! " de tucky buz- 
 za'd hoUuh, " I bet yo' he done weesh he had 
 some of it heseff, 'fo' he many days olduh, 'kaze 
 he woan' have none o' he own ! " 
 
 De crane he done keep on feeshin' till he cotch 
 he dinnuh, an' teck some home to he young uns. 
 Nex' day he feesh some mo' an' teck home some 
 mo' to he young uns. Den he feesh ag'in. Hestan' 
 dah on he one laig, des' lack he cain't see nuffin, 
 an' bahmby up de rivuh he see de povv'fulles', 
 fattes', w'ites' feesh he evuh do see. It p'intin' 
 right fo' him, an' 'peahs lack it been wile an' 
 crazy, its eyes dey beige so. 
 
 " Sho," de crane say to heseff, " I bet you dat 
 one o' dem mullets I heah 'bout ! Um-m-m ! I 
 tase dat feesh a'ready, so I do ! " 
 
 De feesh it been a mullet, sho'ly, an' it scrum- 
 mige right by de crane. De crane it shoot 
 down its long neck an' it cotch dat mullet so 
 quick de mullet nevuh know w'at strike it. De 
 crane lift de mullet out an' frow it on de bank. 
 Den he run he eyes ovuh de feesh, an' he 
 say : 
 
The Cranky Crane. 235 
 
 " Dat de fattes' feesh I evuh do see ! Dem 
 young uns o' mine dey have dinnuh 'nough des 
 now. I guess I eat dis hyuh feesh my own- 
 seff." 
 
 Dat crane he doan' see de tucky buzza'd glar- 
 in' down at him fum de tree, an' he doan' see de 
 wahtuh moc'sin glarin' at him fum de rivuh. He 
 gobble de fat mullet an' rise up an' fly 'way home. 
 Den de tucky buzza'd he lahf and he chuckle, 
 an' de wahtuh moc'sin he wiggle an' twis' and 
 hiss, an' dey bofe gloat and gloat. 
 
 " Did yo' p'ison de mullet a heap ? " de tucky 
 buzza'd he say. 
 
 " Um-m-m ! " de wahtuh moc'sin say. "I shove 
 mo' dan free toofs full in him, an' dat boun' to 
 kill a bah, suh, ef he eat dat mullet ! " 
 
 De crane he fly home, but 'fo' he git dah he 
 gin to feel mighty queeuh. Wen he git dah he 
 say to he fambly : 
 
 " 'Peahs lack dat mullet I done eat doan' 'gree 
 wiv me nohow ! Jicketty ! It des' twis'n' my 
 innuds lack dey tied in hahd knots ! Wow-w-w ! 
 Mighty Gabr'el ! Dat mullet boun' to tu'n me 
 inside out, sho'ly !" 
 
 Den de crane he tumble an' flop on de groun', 
 an' his long laigs dey scrumble up into kinks, he 
 
236 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 twine heseff so. Den he wiggle up ag'in, an' he 
 holluh : 
 
 " Chillun ! " he holluh. " Mullet is makin' yo' 
 po' an' lone o'phans in dis wide wul'! jMullets 
 is too rich fo' cranes ! Yo' po' fadduh des' ben 
 lahnin' dat fo' yo' ! Doan' yo' nevuh eat mullet, 
 chillun, an' han' it down to yo' chillun's chillun 
 dat dey mus'n' nevuh eat mullets, 'kaze 'peahs 
 lack mullets dey tu'n out to be too rich fo' 
 cranes ! Tell yo' mudduh so w'en she git home 
 fum feeshin'." 
 
 An' den de crane he tu'n ovuh an' pass away 
 wivout knowin' dat it bean a mullet p'isoned by 
 de wahtuh moc'sin w'at done kill him. An' co'se 
 de wahtuh moc'sin he nevuh did tell de crane's 
 fambly, an' co'se de tucky buzza'd he nevuh do, 
 an' dat de reason why de crane, down to dis day, 
 he feesh all day, dough he hongry an' he fambly 
 hongry, but he woan't eat mullet. An' dat's de 
 reason de wahtuh moc'sin he chase all d' udduh 
 feesh 'way from de crane, an' de tucky buzza'd 
 he know it, an' dey bofe chuckle an' gloat 'kaze 
 de crane bean setch a pummeatin' fool ! 
 
 Now, suh, I wahn yo' ! I doan' say dat I 
 know dese hyuh t'ings. I des' on'y say dat o' 
 co'se yo' doan' know 'em. But yo' done got 
 
The Cranky Crane. 237 
 
 heaps o' time, suh ! An' yo' eyes dey des' de 
 primes' kyine, an' I reckon yo' heah'n cain't be 
 beat, suh. 'Peahs lack ef I bean yo' I'd des' 
 dote on knowin'dese hyuh t'ings. I would, suh, 
 sho'ly ! 
 
LITTLE DAVY. 
 
LITTLE DAVY. 
 
 Being the Tale of a Tar-heel Witch as Handed 
 Down by the Black Homer's Old Mammy from 
 the Archives of the McDade McCrummons 
 Family of Hackberry Swamp. 
 
 I done 'spec' duh been a pow'ful heap o' 'witch- 
 in' done, yeahs an' yeahs ago, long 'fo' de wah^ 
 suh, down yon in de Cape Fair kentry, fum all 
 w'at my ol' mammy she done tell me, many, 
 many times. Heaps an' heaps of it. But I 
 doan' 'spec' duh evuh bean setch a desp'ut heap 
 o' 'witchin' nowhah roun' dah, suh, as dat w'at 
 done happen one time in de ol' McDade Mc- 
 Crummons fambly, down yon. Um-m-m — um ! 
 how dat fambly done been 'witched ! Desp'utes' 
 kyine, suh ! Desp'utes' kyine ! 
 
 Duh bean heaps o' IMcCrummonses in dat 
 
 kentry w'en dis hyuh done happen, an' dey all 
 i6 241 
 
242 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 kin, one way an' 'nudduh. McDade McCrum- 
 mons he live on de Hackberry Swamp plahntation, 
 an' he bean a mighty fine man, so my ol' mam- 
 my done tell me, an' huh ol' mammy done tell 
 huh so, 'kase huh' ol' mammy bean one o' his 
 nigguhs one time, an' she know all about it. 
 Den duh bean de Muggie McCrummons fambly, 
 w'at live on de Scrabble Hill plahntation, an' all 
 duh bean to dat fambly wuz ol' Muggie an' he 
 daughtuh Meg, an' dey setch mighty queeuh 
 folks dat ev'body 'roun' dah dey kyine o' 'feahd 
 of 'em, 'kase duh done bean a heap o' witchin' 
 'roun' dah, an' udduh folks dey have dey 'spi- 
 cions. Mighty strong 'spicions, too, suh ! 
 Mighty strong ! But fo' all dat, w'at yo' t'ink ? 
 Meg McCrummons she bean head an' eahs in 
 love wid McDade McCrummons, w'en dey young 
 folks, an' boun' to marry him ! Yes, suh ! But 
 McDade he done treat huh wid skawn, an' say 
 he reckon he go a heap fudduh dan Scrabble 
 Hill w'en he pick out a wife. An' he do, too, fo' 
 w'en hefadduh done die an' leave him de Hack- 
 berry Swamp plahntation, bahmby McDade Mc- 
 Crummons he go 'way down de rivuh an' fotch 
 back a wife w'at bean one o' de Rob McCrum- 
 mons fambly, an' a pow'ful nice, sweet gal she 
 
Little Davy. 243 
 
 bean, too. Dat's w'at my ol' mammy's ol' mam- 
 my done say. 
 
 " But, jicketty ! " she say, w'en McDade he 
 done fotch he young bride to de plahntation. 
 " Mahs' McDade he bettuh" kip he top eye peel 
 all de time attuh dis ! Dat ^leg McCrummons 
 she des natch'ly ravin' mad, she is ! Ef she 
 nevuh did do no 'witchin' befo' dis, she boun' to 
 try huh han' one o'dese days, sho's yo' bo'n ! 
 i\Iahs' iMcDade he bean a mighty happy man 
 des' now, but he bettuh kip he top eye peel ! I 
 declah I'd rudduh heah ol' Gabr'el blow he 
 trompet dis hyuh minute dan' stan' in Mahs' 
 McDade's shoes, fine as dey is ! I would, 
 sho'ly ! " 
 
 Dat's w'at my ol' mammy's ol' mammy say, 
 but Mahs' ]\IcDade, he des' lahf an' say he 
 cain't he'p it, an' anyhow, he say, dah ain' no 
 use to kip he top eye open, 'kaze ef he done 
 gwan to be 'witched dah ain' nuftin' kin stop it. 
 An' so blahs' j\IcDade an' he wife dey des' 
 natch'ly let t'ings glide along. An' dey glide 
 along, an' dey glide along, yeahs an' yeahs, an' 
 Meg she doan' lif huh han' to hahm Mahs' 
 McDade's fambl}', but she done git a pow'ful 
 hahd name fo' de doin's w'at folks say she do do. 
 
244 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 or Muggie McCrummons he bean daid dis 
 hyuh long time, an' Meg she live all by huhsef 
 on de Scrabble Hill plahntation. De house it 
 done git tumbly an' ricketty, an' de fiel's dey all 
 grow up to tangles. De t'ings w'at my o' mam- 
 my's ol' mammy say Meg done do des' meek me 
 shedduh an' creep w'en my ol' mammy done tell 
 me 'bout 'em ! Um-m-m — um ! de desp'ut t'ings 
 my ol' mammy's ol' mammy say dat dat witchy 
 Meg McCrummons done do ! Desp'ut, suh ! 
 *Desp'ut! 
 
 But she doan' lif huh han' to hahm Mahs' 
 McDade an' he fambly, an' bahmby dey done 
 fo'git all 'bout Meg havin' a gredge ag'in 'em. 
 Yeahs dey glide, an' bahmby Mahs' McDade he 
 fine dey have two de fines' gals in all dat kentry, 
 one des' comin' eighteen yeahs, an' t'udduh one 
 des' comin' sixteen. 
 
 " Jicketty ! " he say. " Dem's de sweetes' gals 
 I evuh done see in de Cape Fair kentry ! '' 
 
 An dey bean de apple of his eye, suh, an' de 
 apple of dey mudduh's eye, but dey have to give 
 one of 'em up, 'kaze young Roy McCrummons, 
 ol' Squiah McCrummon's son, w'at own de 
 Bailey Creek plahntation, he love huh desp'utes' 
 kyine, an' she love him, an' nufiin' kin do but 
 
Little Davy. 245 
 
 he mus' have huh, an' he do. But dey have to 
 Hve on de Hackberry plahntation, Mahs' 
 McDade he say. He cain't let he Janey go 
 'way fum outen he sight. So Roy an' Janey 
 dey git married, an' stay on de Hackberry plahn- 
 tation. or Squiah McCrummons he have a 
 heap o' Ian' 'way down on de Pedee somewhah, 
 an' 'bout a yeah attuh young Mahs' Roy an' Janey 
 bean married 'Squiah he sen' Mahs' Roy down 
 dah to see how t'ings done bean runnin'. Roy 
 he 'spec' he be down dah 'bout a week, but he 
 sen' wud back he cain't git froo, an' des' lack's 
 not he be down dah five, six weeks, an', jicketty ! 
 w^hile he dah, a baby done bean bo'n on de Hack- 
 berry plahntation, an' Roy he bean a fadduh, an' 
 Mahs' McDade he been a gran'fadduh. I done 
 'spec' duh nevuh bean 'nudduh baby bo'n in dis 
 hyuh wide wul' w'at bean setch a wun'ful baby 
 as dat dah McDade McCrummons's gran'son, 
 'co'din' to IMahs' McDade. But w'en mv ol' 
 mammy's ol' mammy kim outen de house fum 
 seein' it de fus' time, she sheck huh haidan' roll 
 huh eyes an' say : 
 
 " Sho ! ' she say. ' Dat baby woan' fill a pint 
 dippuh, it so pow'ful small ! Dat's de teenies' 
 baby w'at evuh had de bref o' life ! VVaffo' de 
 
246 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 reason ? Des' 'kaze IVIahs' McDade he doan' kip 
 he top eye peel ! I wahn him 'gin Meg McCrum- 
 mons, but he des' only laugh ! Now see ! Meg 
 she only des' bean layin' low. She waitin' fo' 
 huh time, an' now see ! She des' done frow a 
 spell on dat po' baby, and stent it ! Dat's 
 w'at she done do ! An' dat baby des' natch'Iy 
 boun' to be a teeny mite all de days of its 
 life ! " 
 
 But Mahs' INIcDade he hoot at setch a t'ing, 
 'kaze he say he doan' see nuffin little 'bout dat 
 wun'ful gran'son o' his'n. 
 
 " Little ? " he say. " Why, jicketty ! Duh nevuh 
 bean setch a big baby as dis hyuh baby ! Nevuh ! " 
 
 Dat baby been a month ol', an' young Mahs' 
 Roy he cain't git home yit. One day Janey she 
 says she gwan to teck dat baby visitin' ovuh to 
 de Squiah'splahntation, but huh sistuh Betty she 
 say 'deed she ain't, den ! Dat baby ain't gwan 
 out to cotch its deff o' cold ! No, suh ! An' so 
 Janey she go to Baily Creek alone dat evenin'. 
 It git dahk, an' Janey she doan' come home yit. 
 Mahs' McDade's folks dey nigh skeeuht crazy, 
 an' Mahs' McDade he scrummidge up to de 
 Squiah's plantation. 
 
 " Whah Janey ? " he say. 
 
Little Davy. 247 
 
 '' Janey," Squiah's folks say. " Why, she done 
 staht home long ago ! '* 
 
 Den dey sahch an' sahch, but dey cain't fine 
 Janey. De las' anybody done see of huh, one o' 
 Squiah's nigguhs say he see huh goin' by de ol' 
 Muggie iNIcCrummons Scrabble Hillplahntation. 
 
 " An',, jicketty ! " he say. " Ef I doan' 'membuh 
 now dat iMeg she come out an' trot 'long behind 
 huh, \viv huh big black cat ! " 
 
 Den IMahs' McDade he mos' tomble off he 
 boss. 
 
 " Meg McCrummons des' natch 'ly done gone 
 an' 'witch dat gal, sho's yo' bo'n ! " he holluh, an' 
 he dash fo' ol' ]\Iuggie's plantation. Nobody dah, 
 suh ! De ricketty house bean empty as a busted 
 cow-pea pod, an' dahk as a runnin' o' tah ! No- 
 body hain't see Meg attuh Squiah's nigguh done 
 see huh, an' nobody nevuh did see huh in dat 
 kentry no mo'. Den duh bean desp'ut times at 
 IMahs' McDade's, suh. 
 
 " An' w'en dey bean wailin' an' tah'n dey hah 
 mos' oaten dey haids," my ol' mammy's ol'mam- 
 my say, ''dey heah some un laughin' an' yellin' 
 an' chucklin' an' mawkin' in dey eahs, an' de 
 squawlin' an' spittin' o' cats ! Nobody in de Ian' 
 kin evuh do dat but dat weeked ^^leg McCrum- 
 
248 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 mons, an' Mahs' ]\IcDade he know it ! But I 
 done wahn him, long time befo' ! I done tell 
 him to kip he top eye peel ! " 
 
 Co'se dey sen' wud to Mahs' Roy, down on de 
 Peedee, but 'fo' he kin git home 'nudduh mons- 
 t'us ting done happen to de fambly. One day 
 Janey's sistuh Betty she cain't be foun', and 
 whahdatbaby? Mighty Gabr'el ! It cain't be 
 foun' nudduh ! Oh, den duh bean weepin' and 
 wailin' on dat plahntation ! An' Mahs' McDade's 
 folks dey done heah de mawkin' laughs an' yells, 
 an' de squawlin' an' spittin' o' de cats, wussuh 
 dan befo'. Wen young Mahs' Roy he git home 
 he sahch dis a-way, dat a-way, high an low, 
 ev'whah, but it bean no use. An de yeahs dey 
 glide, but ev' time Mahs' McDade's folks dey 
 moan fo' Janey an' Betty an' de baby, dey done 
 heah dat desp'ut mawkin' an' gloatin' in dey 
 eahs. My ol' mammy's ol' mammy she know all 
 de chahms to break up 'witchin', an' she try 'em 
 all 'gin dis hyuh monst'us spell w'at Meg done 
 put on Mahs' McDade's fambly, but dey woan' 
 wuck. 
 
 " Meg done gone an' jine podnuhs wiv ol' 
 Satan," my ol' mammy's ol' mammy she say. 
 
 'Way down fum dah, in de Red Gum kentry, 
 
Little Davy. 249 
 
 live ' nudduh McCrummons fambly. Dat bean 
 de Angus McCrummonses. Dey bean kyine o' 
 'way-off 'lations o' Mahs' McDade's, but doan' 
 know nuffin' 'bout 'em only w'at dey mowt a 
 heah'd, an' dey doan' heah nuffin' 'bout w'at bean 
 happ'nin' 'way up dah on de Hackberry Swamp 
 plahntation. Des' attuh dem t'ings dey 'gin to 
 happen up dah, Angus McCrummons he seatin' 
 in he do' smokin' he pipe one evenin', an' he 
 luke up an' he see a mighty queeuh ol' wooman 
 trampin' 'long de road. 'Peahs lack she bean 
 weazen an' crooked, wiv a pow'ful shahp nose, 
 an' huh hah it hengin' all 'bout huh face. She 
 tu'n huh eye on Angus an' it snap lack liah. A 
 discons 'lit young bah done jog 'long behind de 
 skeery lookin' ol' wooman, an' Angus he say de 
 way dat po' bah tu'n its eyes on him he nevuh do 
 fo'git to he dyin' day. 
 
 " Dat bah des' natch'ly luke at me de plead- 
 ines' kyine," Angus he say, " 'zac'ly ef it done 
 bean baiggin' me to teck it 'way fum dat ol' 
 wooman ! " 
 
 De ol' wooman have de young bah to a string, 
 an' a monst'us big black cat bean trottin' wiv 
 huh, crookin' its back, an' swullin' its tail, an' 
 glarin' an' spittin' at t'ings w'at Angus couldn't 
 
250 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 see. De ol' vvooman she luke so desp'ut witchy 
 an' spooky dat folks dey done give huh an' de 
 po' bah an' de spittin' cat all de road dey want, 
 but dey feel pow'ful sorry fo' de bah. An' w'at 
 yo' tink dat creepy ol' wooman done do ? She 
 des' settle down in de ol' shanty on de back aidge 
 o' de big swamp, w'at nobody hain' bean in fo' 
 mo'n twenty yeahs, 'kaze it ha'nted by de spooks 
 of ol' Toe Jillson, an' his wooman, an' his two 
 nigguhs, a desp'ut hahd lot, w'at bean all foun' 
 in de shanty one mo'nin' daid wiv dey froats cut. 
 All dem spooks bean h'antin' dat place ev' sence, 
 an' cuttin' up setch monst'us didos dat nobody 
 nevuh kin stay dah no mo'. An' dah's whah dat 
 creepy ol' wooman done settle down wiv huh cat 
 an' huh bah ! Folks dey say she cain't stay dah 
 long. " Dem feahful Jillson spooks dey soon 
 meek huh scrummidge outen dah ! " folks say, 
 but w'at yo' t'ink ? Jicketty ! She done skeeuh 
 dem spooks outen dat shanty 'fo' she bean dah 
 nights ! Oh, she bean pow'ful wdtchy, dat ol' 
 w^ooman ! Pow'ful, suh ! 
 
 De mail coach fum Raleigh it run froo dat 
 kentry an' fine its way on down to Chahls'on 
 som'how. One evenin' des' a week attuh de ol' 
 wooman come 'long dah, de coach bean late, an' 
 
Little Davy. 251 
 
 Angus's wife she desp'ut put out 'bout it, 'kaze 
 de coach it done rest dahfo' suppuh, an' it meek 
 huh jingle roun' mos' too lively w'en it late. She 
 have setch a heap on huh mind dis hyuh night 
 dat she doan' have time to notice 'tickly a young 
 gal w'at come in fum de coach wiv 'nudduh one, 
 carryin' a teeny baby in huh ahms. De gal she 
 hurry in de settin' room lack she 'spectin' some 
 one dah waitin' foh huh. She doan' see no one 
 dah, an' 'peahs lack she mighty s'prised an' dis'- 
 p'inted. She lie de baby in a cheeuh an' hurry 
 out to missy Angus an' say : 
 
 "Whah she is?" 
 
 " Whah who is ? " Miss Angus she say, stop- 
 pin' wiv huh ban's full o' dishes. 
 
 " My sistuh Janey ! " de young gal she say, 
 an' fo' Missy Angus she dun git huh breff, she 
 so supprise, de gal's face it git bright as de sun, 
 an' she holluh, " Oh, dah she is ; I dun heah huh 
 shoutin' fo' me ! " Den de young gal she trip 
 outen he house. Missy Angus she t'ink sahtin 
 de gal mus' be crazy, but she have suffin' to do 
 'sides runnin' attuh crazy folks, an' she scrum- 
 mage roun' wiv huh suppuh, 'kase she nevuh 
 did see de gal lie de baby in de settin'-room. 
 Bahmby de suppuh bean eat an' de coach it rat- 
 
252 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 tie away. It bean gone a long time 'fo' Missy 
 Angus she git time to go in de settin'-room. 
 Den she see de teeny baby snoozin' dah, an' she 
 let a shriek dat fetch Angus an' he son Jarvy 
 flyin' in dah lack dey 'spec' de house afiah. 
 
 "Wa-wa-wah de mattuh ? " Angus he spluttuh. 
 
 *^ Mattuh ? " he wife holluh. " Cain't yo' see 
 w'at de mattuh ? Dat gal done gone off an' fo'got 
 huh baby ! " 
 
 Den de folks dey sahch ev'whah, but dey cain't 
 fine de gal. Dey chase de coach wiv bosses, an' 
 cotch it, but de gal ain' in it nowhah. So w'at 
 Angus's folks gwan to do? Dey doan' want no 
 mo' chillun, 'kase dey got ten a'ready, dough dis 
 hyuh baby bean de teenies' mite dey evuh see or 
 heah tell about. 
 
 " Duh ain' nuffin' to do," Missy Angus she 
 say, " but to sen' dis po' little midget 'way 
 somewhah." 
 
 Now it des' happen dat w'en de young gal 
 bean dah an' say she lookin' fo' huh sistuh, 
 young Jarvy McCrummons he cotch two, free 
 glances of huh eye, an' dey done shoot down in 
 he boozum deepuh an' sting him badduh dan he 
 evuh done have a gal's eyes shoot an' sting 
 befo'. " Dis heah baby boun' to fotch dat gal 
 
Little Davy. 253 
 
 back hyuh some day," Jarvy he t'ink to heseff, 
 an' w'en de mudduh she say dey have to sen' de 
 baby off, he up an' say : 
 
 " I reckon yo' woan' do nufHn' o' de kyine, 
 mudduh ! Dat dah baby done gwan to stay 
 right hyuh ! '"' 
 
 Nobody dey go 'ginst young Mahs' Jarvy on 
 dat plahntation, an' so de baby it done stay right 
 dah. Two, free days attuh dat Jarvy bean out 
 huntin' an' w'en he kim home he say : 
 
 *' De witchy woman up to de shanty done got 
 suffin' else now, 'sides de cat an' de hopeless 
 young bah. She got a w'ite deeuh." 
 
 An' dat been pow'ful s'prisin', 'kase nobody 
 'roun' dat kentry hain't see a w'ite deeuh fo' 
 mo'n fot'y yeahs. 
 
 Now I done 'spec' yo' des' natch'ly t'ink I'se 
 gwan to say dat de baby growed up in dat fam- 
 bly, but I ain't, 'kase dat baby didn't grow up at 
 all, suh ! When he bean 10 yeah ol' he no big- 
 guh dan a free-yeah ol' piccaninny. But he 
 monst'us smaht. Um m-m — um ! howsmahtdat 
 mite done bean ! An' he monst'us queeuh. 
 Wat yo' t'ink ? He cain't heah nor he cain't talk ! 
 He doan' stay wiv Angus's folks only des' w'en 
 he feel lack it, but live in de wudes, an' play 
 
254 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 wiv bah cubs an' wilecat kittens ! An' he ain't 
 afeahd o' ol' bahs, neiduh ; an' he fight 'em lack 
 little David do big Goliah, wiv rocks an' a sling. 
 Um-m-m — um ! How he kin frow dem rocks 
 wiv he sling ! Duh nevuh bean a bullet kin 
 whizz straigthuh an' sink deepuh dan a rock 
 outen dat queeuh little creatuh's sling ! He 
 doan' have no name but Davy, an' dough he 
 cain't heah nor cain't talk, young Mahs' Jarvy 
 he done titch him to talk on he finguhs, an' w'en 
 de young un des' happen to feel dat a-way, jick- 
 etty ! how he kin rattle off de talk! But he 
 doan' feel dat a-way many times. No, suh ! 
 
 De young gal w'at leave de baby in de settin' 
 room she doan' come back, but young' Mahs' 
 Jarvy he kip on hopin', 'kaze dat look she shoot 
 in he haht it done bu'n dah yit. De ol' witch 
 wooman she live right on in de shanty wiv huh 
 cat an' huh bah an' huh w'ite deeuh. An' po' 
 Mahs' McDade McCrummons an' he wife, 'way 
 up on de Hackberry Swamp plahntation, dey kip 
 heah'n de mawkin' an' de gloatin' an' de cat 
 squawkin' in dey eahs till dey weesh dey kin 
 die. Oh, Meg, she 'witch 'em deep ! Pow'ful 
 deep ! 
 
 One day young Mahs' Jarvy he out huntin' 
 
Little Davy. 255 
 
 in de wudes, an' he bean creepin' along sly, w'en 
 he see Davy settin' on a log close by a bah ! 
 Jarvy he know de bah^ 'kaze it bean de ol'wiLchy 
 woman's hopeless bah, but 'peahs lack it bean 
 mighty peeuht, settin' dah by little Davy. Davy 
 he bean cuddlin' up close up to dat bah, an' 'fo' 
 Jarvy he git he breff 'long come de w'ite deeuh 
 an' lie she haid in Davy's lap, and Davy he des 
 frow he ahm 'roun' de w'ite deeuh's neck 
 Bahmby Davy he do suffin' dat mos' meek Mahs 
 Jarvy drap daid. Davy he hoi' up he finguhs an 
 talk suffin' to de bah, an' de bah hoi' up one o 
 she claws an' talk back to Davy ! Yes, suh 
 Dat's w'at my ol' mammy done tell me, an' huh 
 ol' mammy done tell huh, an' huh ol' mammy 
 she livin' dat time an' know w'at she tellin' ! 
 Yes, suh ! Davy hoi' up he finguhs an' talk to 
 debah, an' de bah hoi' up one o' she claws an' 
 talk back to Davy. Davy done been titchin' de 
 bah to talk dat a-way, and de bah done lahn de 
 nices' kyine ! 
 
 Dat enough by its ownseff to mos' meek young 
 Mahs' Jarvy drap daid, but w'en he see w'at 
 Davy an' de bah talkin' 'bout, he des' tink he 
 cain't live 'nudduh minute ef he stay dah, an' he 
 snick away an' go home. Den he lay fo' Davy, 
 
256 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 an' w'en Davy done come home attuh two, free 
 days, lookin' lack he doan' know w'at he gwan 
 to do wiv heseff, Mahs' Jarvy he done teck him 
 'way off bydeyseffs, an' talk wiv him an' talk wiv 
 him. W'at he talk ? I dunno des' w'at, but 
 Davy he very peeuht w'en dey git froo, an' go 
 scrummagin' back to de wudes des' fas' he little 
 laigs kin tote him. 
 
 An' w'at young Mahs' Jarvy he do ? He teck 
 de fus' coach w'at gwan up No'th way, an' he 
 doan' leave dat coach till he git to Hackberry 
 Swamp. He go straight fo' McDade McCrum- 
 mon's plahntation, an' he 'quiahfo' Mammy Sue. 
 Dat dah bean my ol' mammy's ol' mammy. 
 Mammy Sue she come. 
 
 " Yo' Mammy Sue ?" INIahs' Jarvy he 'quiah. 
 
 " I reckon I is ! " Mammy Sue she say. 
 
 Den ]\[ahs' Jarvy he say he heah she bean a 
 witch-spelluh, an' she say she bean. 
 
 " Den fix me a bullet made outen a white boss's 
 shoe," Mahs' Jarvy he say, "wiv nine haihs o' 
 de same boss's tail mix wiv it." 
 
 *' Sho ! " Mammy Sue she say, an' she luke 
 skeeuht. " Yo' know w'at yo' done gwan to do, 
 suh ? " 
 
 " It done gwan to be done in de dahkin' o' de 
 
Little Davy. 257 
 
 moon, at des' de stroke o' midnight ! " Mahs' 
 Jarvy he say. 
 
 '"' Jicketty ! " Mammy Sue she sa3^ " Doan' 
 yo' know it mns' be done wivout powduh, siih, an' 
 dat a chile w'at nevuh knowed he fadduh no' he 
 mudduh, an' w'at nevuh done spick a wud in he 
 life to a livin' soul, suh, an' w'at nevuh heah a 
 livin' soul done spick to him, mus' do it ? " 
 
 "I know dat!" Mahs' Jarvy he say. "An' 
 ef he kill de black wolf, den all dem w'at's bean 
 'witched by de black wolf dey done go free, doan' 
 dey ? " 
 
 , " Sho'ly ! " i\Iammy Sue she say. " But ef he 
 doan' kill de black wolf, den yo' tu'n to a wolf 
 yo' ownseif, an' de black wolf own yo', and dem 
 w'at's 'witched dey done be 'witched wussuh dan 
 evuh ? You want dat bullet ? " 
 
 Mahs' Jarvey say he do, an' Mammy Sue she 
 done fix it fo' him. 
 
 "Des' on de strike o' midnight in de dahkin' 
 o' de moon ? " she says. " An' mine yo', suh, 
 see dat vo' clock bean rip-ht ! " 
 
 Den Mahs' Jarvy he go tell Mahs' AIcDade's 
 folks who he done bean, an' meek 'em declah dey 
 sho'ly come dov/n to Red Gum plahntation on a 
 visit to de Angus McCrummons fambly nex' 
 
258 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 week. Den away he scrummage fo' home, an' 
 nex' week, sho's yo' bo'n, Mahs' McDade an' he 
 wife, an' Alahs' Roy McCrummons, w'at hain't 
 hed no wife no' chillun sence oV Meg McCrum- 
 mons done witch 'em, dey all come to de Red 
 Gum plahntation to visit de 'lations w'at dey 
 hain't nevuh see befo'. An' dat very night de 
 mawkin' lahfs an' de spittin' an' squawlin' cats 
 dey hoUuh in po' Mahs' McDade's eahs an' in 
 he wife's eahs wussuh dan evuh. Young Mahs' 
 Angus he teck Mahs' Roy out walkin' an' walk 
 him up in de wudes. 
 
 "Now," he say, '' I done 'spec yo' gwan to see 
 sufhn' pow'ful queeuh. Ef yo' see it and heah 
 it, des' doan' say a wud, an' w'en de strike o' 
 midnight done come, if yo' ain' glad yo' bean 
 hyuh, den yo' name been suffin' sides 'McCrum- 
 mons ! " 
 
 It been nigh de strike o' midnight w'en young 
 Mahs' Jarvy he stop. De stahs dey shine mighty 
 bright, an' dey kin see mos' lack day out in a big 
 open hoUuh. Den dey heah monst'us soun' in 
 de night, an' dey straitch dey necks an' w'at yo' 
 tink dey see ? A bah an' a w'ite deeuh, fus' one 
 an' den t'udduh one, bein' swashed an' bit an' 
 clawed by a pow'ful big black wolf. De black 
 
Little Davy. 259 
 
 wolf it yell an' shriek an' lahf^ an' a big black 
 cat it tread roun' wiv glaring eyes an' its back 
 crooked, an' its tail all swuU up, an' de cat a 
 squawlin' an' spittin' till Mahs' Roy's hah it rise 
 up to de top o' he hat. 
 
 *' Mighty Gabr'el!" he whispuh to Mahs' 
 Jarvy. " Dis hyuh bean w'at fadduh an' mud- 
 duh dey done heah in dey eahs mos' ev'ry 
 night!" 
 
 Den bahmby it bean des' on de strike o' mid- 
 night, an' a teeny mite of a chap he step out, an' 
 whang ! sing a sling he woosh roun'. Ef duh 
 bean yells befo', dey bean only music to de yells 
 w'at dat black wolf holluh w'en dat slins: done 
 twang! But it des' holluh one yell, an' jomp up 
 high, an' den straitch on de ground dead as de 
 rock w'at glide fum dat sling an' sink in de 
 wolf's haid ! De black cat it scampuh 'way fum 
 dah, squawlin' lack it been tetch by fiah. An' 
 w'at yo' t'ink happen den ? Dat bah it doan' be 
 a bah no mo', an' de w'ite deeuh it doan' be a 
 w'ite deeuh no mo' ! Wat dey bean ? De bah 
 done bean Janey standin' dah, and de w'ite 
 deeuh it done bean huh sistuh Betty ! An'whah 
 de midget? De midget done bean little Davy 
 an' he stan' dah de midget yit, but he tu'n an' he 
 
26o The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 holluh to Mahs' Roy, des' lack he bean talkin' 
 all de days : 
 
 *' Dab, fadduh ! " he holluh. " Hyuh I is, an' 
 dah my mudduh, an' dah my Aunt Betty, an' dah 
 de black wolf w'at done bean Meg McCrum- 
 mons ! " 
 
 Co'se dull bean a tetchin' time, suh, up dah 
 in de wudes, w'en all dis hyuh happen, an' dull 
 bean a tetchinuh time yit w'en dey all git down 
 to de Red Gum plahntation an' s'prise de folks. 
 An' ]\Iahs' INIcDade ]\IcCrummons an' he wife 
 deynevuh do heah dem mawkin's an' gloatin's 
 an' squawlin' in dey eahs no mo'. An' co'se 
 Mahs' Jarvy he done meek Aunt Betty he wife. 
 Little Mahs' Davy? He done grow to a big 
 man attuh dat, an' he de fadduh an' de gran'- 
 fadduh an' de great-gran'fadduh o' mos' all de 
 McCrummonses duh is down yon 'longde Cape 
 Fair Rivuh to dis hyuh day, suh! Yes, suh ! 
 Dat a fac' ! 
 
HEADLESS GHOST THAT 
 WALKED WITH A CRUTCH. 
 
HEADLESS GHOST THAT WALKED 
 WITH A CRUTCH. 
 
 Also Another Odd Spook that the Black Homer 
 Recollects as Having Made a Stir One Time in 
 the Cape Fear Countr}'. 
 
 I RECKON duh doan' be setch t'ings as ha'nts no 
 
 mo', 'kaze it bean a long time since I done heah 
 
 tell o' one. But, jicketty ! Duh mowt be oodles 
 
 o' ha'nts skrimmidgin' 'roun' de kentry an' I 
 
 wouldn't nevuh heah 'bout 'em. I doan' heah 
 
 much about nuffin sence I doan' live down Cape 
 
 Fair way no mo'. Yo' dunno w'at ha'nts is? 
 
 Jicketty ! Ha'nts done been daid folks. Some 
 
 of 'em been daid folks w'at done skittuh back to 
 
 dis hyuh erf an' doan' show deyseffs, but dey 
 
 folks know dey done been hyuh, 'kaze dey do 
 
 t'ings dey done do w'en dey in de flaish. Dat 
 
 bean de kyine o' ha'nt Joe Peery tu'n heself into, 
 
 down yon in de Cape Fair kentry, long 'fo' de 
 
 wah, 
 
 263 
 
264 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 Joe Peery he been a blacksmiff down dah, an' 
 one day he up an' die ; and he done die so sed- 
 den, suh, dat he go 'way an' leave a heap o' 
 wuck dat ain' been finish. Dat t'ing prey so 
 desp'rit hahd on Joe attuh he daid dat he cain't 
 Stan' itj an' de fus' t'ing anybody know, dey heah, 
 'long in de night time, Joe's anvil clingy-te-clang ! 
 clingy-te-clang ! ringin' in de ol' shop; an' de 
 bellus it blow an' de spahks dey fly, des' de way 
 dey done do w'en Joe bean dah in de flaish, 
 whangin' away wiv he shiny hammuh. 
 
 '' Mighty Gabr'el ! " folks dey say. " Joe Peery's 
 ha'nt done come back to finish up dat wuck he 
 done leave, sho's yo' bo'n ! " 
 
 Nobody nevuh do see dat ha'nt, but doan' 
 Miss' Scoles fine huh fryin' pan in Joe's shop, 
 wiv de handle all fix on, w'at she done leave dah 
 to be fix des' 'fo' Joe up an' die an' leave it wiv- 
 out fixin' ? Co'se she do ? Doan' Big 'Leazuh, 
 fum de Ray plantation, teck a wagon w-heel down 
 fo' Joe to sot de tiah on it, an' doan' Joe up an' 
 die 'fo' he kin tetch it ? He do. But doan' Big 
 'Leazuh fine dat wheel in de shop, wiv de tiah all 
 sot, des' lack nobody but Joe Peery kin set a 
 tiah? He do. And Mahs' McKeevuh— w'at he 
 done do ? Mahs' McKeevuh he have de mos' 
 
Headless Ghost. 265 
 
 monst'uses' kickin' boss w'at evuh fling its heels 
 to'ds de sky in allde Cape Fair kentry. But it 
 bean a pow'ful good lioss, an' Mahs' McKeevuh 
 he done t'ink de wul' of it. Nobody kin clap a 
 shoe on dat boss 'cept Joe Peery, an' w'en Joe 
 he up an' die Mahs' McKeevuh he feel desp'rit, 
 'kaze w'at he gwan to do wiv dat kickin' boss 
 w'en he mus' have shoes sot on him ? Dat 
 'scoriate Mahsuh pow'fulles' kyine, an' he des' 
 gwan to get shet o' de boss w'en he beah 'bout 
 Joe Peery's ha'nt skittuhn back to he shop to 
 finish de wuck Joe done leave, time he done 
 depaht fum the flaish. 
 
 " Jicketty ! " Mahs' McKeevuh be say. " Ef 
 dat bean Joe Peery's ha'nt, it boun' to shoe dis 
 hyuh boss o' mine, sbo'ly ! " 
 
 An' he sen' de boss out to Joe's shop an' shet 
 it in dab dat very night, an' folks w'at live roun' 
 dab dey declah dey beah de anvil whangin' an' 
 ringin', an' de bellus blowin' lack dey nevuh do 
 beah 'em befo', an' see de spahks flyin' lack de 
 ol' shop des' natcb'ly bean on fiah ! An' de way 
 Mahs' McKeevuh's boss did kick an' plenge an' 
 stomp on de flo', dey nevuh did beah de lack of 
 it sence Joe done shoe dat boss befo' he up an' 
 die. An' dey declah dey beah dat ha'nt cussin' 
 
266 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 dat boss up an' down, des' lack Joe Peery done 
 cuss it time he shoe de boss while he doin' it in 
 de flaish ! An' w'en Mahs' McKeevuh git de hoss 
 nex' mo'nin', dah he bean, shod new all 'round, 
 suh, des' lack nobody in de wul' kin shoe him 
 'cept Joe Peevy ! 
 
 Bahmby Joe's ha'nt it done finish up all dat 
 wuck Joe leave w'en he quit des' hyuh vale o' 
 teahs, an' den de ha'nt it doan' come back no 
 mo'. But bahmby Mahs' McKeevuh's hoss it 
 mus' be shod ag'in, an' Mahsuh he mighty pup- 
 plex in he mine. 
 
 '' I t'ink I put de hoss in de shop, anyhow," 
 he say, " but I doan' 'spec' Joe's ha'nt done 
 gwan to skittuh back hyuh des' to do a job o' 
 shoein'." 
 
 Mahs' McKeevuh put de hoss in de shop dat 
 night, an' sho's yo' bo'n, suh, Joe's ha'nt done 
 come an' do de job ! An' it come back an' shoe 
 dat hoss ev' time it done need shoein', an' w'en 
 dat hoss up an' die attuh w'ile, I declah ef it 
 didn't have a ha'nt its ownseff, suh, w'at done 
 come back to de shop to git shod, an' Joe Peery's 
 ha'nt it done come back an' do de shoein', 'kaze 
 de folks dey heah de kickin' an' de thumpin', 
 an' de clingin' an' de clangin', an' de cussin' an' 
 
Headless Ghost. 267 
 
 de swah'n^ des' lack it all bean w'en de boss an' 
 Joe Peery bofe bean dah in de flaish ! Dese 
 hyuh queeuh doin's dey bean goin' on to dis day, 
 I reckon, ef dat ol' shop it doan' cotch fiah bahm- 
 by an' bu'n to de groun', so dem dah two ha'nts 
 dey hain' got no place to come back to no mo'. 
 Now, ain' dat pow'ful queeuh, suh ? Do yo' 
 evuh heah anyt'ing des' lack dat dah, in all yo' 
 bo'n days } 
 
 Den one time Mahs' IMcKeevuh he have some 
 business long way down de rivuh, an' night it 
 come drappin' down 'fo' he ritch de place whah 
 he gwan to. But de moon it shinin' bright as 
 day. ]\Iahs' ^IcKeevuh he joggin' 'long on he 
 boss, w'en a man rise up by de side de road, 
 des' lack he done grow outen de groun'. Fus' 
 t'ing blahs' McKeevuh notice bean dat de man 
 doan' have but one laig, an' dat he hump 'long 
 wiv a cretch. He hobble 'long by de boss, an' 
 'peahs lack he lookin' fo' suffin' he done lose. 
 Mahs' ^IcKeevuh he pull up he boss, an' he 
 des' gwan to ax de man w'at he lookin' fo', 
 w'en he see suffin' dat joggle him so dat he mos' 
 tumble outen he saddle. De man wiv only one 
 laiof an' de cretch doan' have no haid ! He haid 
 done gone clean down to he shoulduhs, an' den 
 
268 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 Mahs' ]\IcKeevuh see dat it doan' be no man at 
 all w'at stiimpin' 'long wivout no haid, lookin' 
 fo' suffin'. It bean a ha nt ! Mahs' McKeevuh 
 he feel heseff tu'n white. Den he feel heseff 
 tu'n red. Den he tu'n hot. Den he tu'n cold. 
 Den he fine he tongue, an' he hoUuh : 
 
 " flighty Gabr'el ! " An' he sock he heel in 
 he hoss an' fly from dah des' lack he have 
 wings. 
 
 Yo' declah yo^ ain' timidatious, suh, but I bet 
 ef yo' done see dat han't yo' bean skeeuht des' 
 lack Mahs' McKeevuh bean, an' flyfum dah des' 
 lack he do. Des' yo' t'ink of a ha'nt wiv only 
 one laig, hobblin' froo de Ian' on a cretch, look- 
 m' fo' suffin' wiv no haid on its shoulduhs to 
 look wiv ! Jicketty ! I reckon dat boun' to 
 skeeuh mos' any man, an' Mahs' IMcKeevuh he 
 nevuh pull a rein till he ritch a house, two miles 
 from whah he see dat monst'us ha'nt. He 
 tumble outen he saddle, an' a man come from 
 de house to meet him. Wen de man look at 
 Mahs' McKeevuh he rise he ban's an' heholluh : 
 
 " Good Lo'd ! " he holluh. " Yo' done see it, 
 suh, sho's vou' bo'n ! " 
 
 Mahs' McKeevuh be all twimbly yit, an' he 
 sav : " I done see w'at, suh 1 " 
 
Headless Ghost. 269 
 
 " De one-laigged ha'nt wivout any haid, walk- 
 in' wiv a cretch ! " de man he say. 
 
 An' jNIahs' McKeevuh he say yes, he guess he 
 done do so see it, sho'lv. Den de man he teck 
 mahsuh in de house and staidy he nuvs wiv 
 some peach an' hone}-, an' he tell de mahsuh 
 dat ha'nt been skrimmidgin' roun' dah fo' six 
 months. It bean de ha'nt of a man w'at done 
 been cotch in a steamboat 'splosion on de rivuh 
 down dah, an' w'at bean pick up on de bank 
 wiv he haid gone an' one laig off. Dey fine de 
 man's laig, but dey doan' fine he haid. De man 
 come fum down in de Peedee kentry, an' dey 
 done sen' w'at dey kin fine of 'im back whah he 
 come fum. 
 
 " Des' 'bout a week attuh dat," so dis hyuh 
 man saytoMahs' ?\IcKeevuh, "we git a slashin' 
 rain, an' de little creek w'at shies 'cross de road 
 down yon whah de ha'nt done rise up befo' yo' 
 it swull up right smaht an' resh down outen de 
 swamp, fetchun' oodles o' rebbish wiv it. Tvly 
 black boy Jim he bean comin' 'long de road 
 down dah, an' de fus' t'ing I know I see Jim 
 flyin' back dis way, lack ol' Satan at he heels, 
 an' w'en he o'it hvuh I declah ef he ain' mos' 
 tu'n w'ite ! 
 
270 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 '(( ( 
 
 Mahs' Simms ! ' he holluh, ' de po' man's 
 lost haid it bean layin' by de road down yon in 
 de holluh ! De creek done fotch it outen de 
 swamp ! ' 
 
 " Den dat boy Jim he drap lack he daid, and 
 I bet yo' I was'e mo'n a pint o' good peach 'fo' I 
 git him fotch to ag'in. " 
 
 ''VVhah dat haid?'' Mahs' McKeevuh he ask 
 de man. 
 
 " Oh, we go down dah an' teck it away," de 
 man say. 
 
 "Wat yo' done do wiv it?" mahsuh he 
 ask. 
 
 " We dig a hole up on de hill yon. an' plahnt de 
 haid in it, suh," de man say. "An' den de 
 ha'nt wiv one laig an' no haid, stumpin' 'long on 
 a cretch, it done 'peah down dah in de holluh 
 whah we fine de haid, and dah it bean skrimmidg- 
 in' nights ev' sence, suh." 
 
 Den Mahs' McKeevuh he git monst'us mad, 
 an' he swah pow'ful, an' declah to de man dat 
 dey bean a swaddlin' o' fools 'round dah, an' 
 doan' know nuffin'. 
 
 " Cain't yo' see w'at done bean preyin' on dat 
 po' ha'nt's mind ? " he say to de man. " Dat po' 
 ha'nt des' natch'ly lookin' fo' it's haid, an' it 
 
Headless Ghost. 271 
 
 woan' nevuh git no rest till it done fine it 
 neiduh ! " 
 
 An' nex' mo'nin' Mahs' McKeevuh he go an' 
 he dig up dat haid, an' it bean all tu'n to nuffin' 
 but a skeleton den. 
 
 " But dat doan' meek no diff'ence,"de mahsuh 
 he say. " It bean dat ha'nt's haid, des' de same, 
 an' de ha'nt done gwan to have it, too ! " 
 
 Wen night come ag'in, Mahs' McKeevuh he 
 teck de haid down to de holluh whah de ha'nt 
 done rise up an' mos' joggle him, an' he lie it on 
 a stump. De moon it bean bright as day, an' 
 mahsuh he scrootch down 'hind a bush to see 
 w'at gwan to happen nex'. Bahmby he see de 
 ha'nt come stumpin' 'long on its cretch, lookin' 
 fo' suffin' des' as plain as day, wivout no haid 
 on its shoulduhs. It come along dah, an' it 
 hobble to de stump an' see de haid lyin' dah. 
 De ha'nt des' give one jump an' snatch de 
 haid, an' flop about an' stump back de way it 
 come fum, an' went out o' sight, Mahs' McKee- 
 vuh say, des' lack a candle w'at been snuff out 
 by de wind ! 
 
 " As de ha'nt done scuffle by whah I bean 
 scrootched 'hind de bush," Mahs' McKeevuh 
 say, "it had de haid unduh its ahm, and de 
 
272 The Black Homer of Jimtovvn. 
 
 haid bean smilin' all ovuh it's face, des' lack it 
 mos' tickle to deff ! " 
 
 An' dey nevuh did see dat ha'nt no mo'. 
 Mahs' McKeevuh he know, o' co'se, waffo' de 
 ha'nt doan' have no haid an' des' one laig, 
 but one t'ing 'bout it done puzzle mahsuh to 
 he dyin' day. 
 
 "Rosybell," he done say to my ol' mammy, 
 many, many times, "whah in de wide wul' do 
 yo' spec' dat ha'nt done git dat dah cretch ? " 
 
 An' Rosybell she nevuh could say, suh. 
 Nevuh I 
 
SNUFFY SAM'S KINGDOM. 
 
 i8 
 
SNUFFY SAM'S KINGDOM. 
 
 The Account of Snuffy's Smartness and the Way 
 he was Cheated by a Pirate and Helped by a 
 Big Bird, as Given to the Black Homer by his 
 Mammy. 
 
 One t'ing been stickin' in my crap, stickin' in 
 my crap, an' stickin' in my crap, ev' sence de 
 wah, suh, an' long befo' de wall, too, an' I cain't 
 git it out, no way I kin fix it. I des' gwan to 
 tell yo' 'bout dat, suh, an' I bet ef yo' doan' say 
 dat ottuh stick in my crap den yo' mus' t'ink I 
 got a pow'ful big crap, suh. But mebbe yo' done 
 heah 'bout Mahs' Angus's nigsfuh, Snuffy Sam, 
 'long 'fo' dis time ? No ? Jicketty ! 'Peahs lack 
 dat bean mighty queeuh, too ! I 'spec' folks dey 
 doan' t'ink to tell yo' 'bout him — but den I 
 dunno 'bout dat, neiduh. I reckon folks 'roun' 
 hyuh dey doan' know much 'bout de Cape Fair 
 kentry. Sho ! Co'se dey doan' ! Folks 'roun* 
 
 275 
 
 ^ 
 
276 The, Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 in dis hyuh piney woods kentry dey doan' know 
 much 'bout nuffin' ! 
 
 Mahs' Angus he live down yon in de Cape 
 Fair kentry, an' his plahntation it jine on to Mahs' 
 McKeevuh's, an' dat de way my ol' mammy she 
 know 'bout Snuffy Sam, an' co'se she done tell 
 me 'bout it many an' many a time ; but des' de 
 same dat one t'ing it stick in my crap. Snuffy 
 Sam he b'long on de Angus plahntation, an' he 
 mighty sly coon, I tell yo', suh ! Jicketty ! He 
 monst'us sly, dat Snuffy Sam done bean ! Mahs' 
 Angus done git him 'way down in N'oleens, or 
 summuh down dat a-way. 'Peahs lack Sam he 
 puffec'ly satisfy wiv Mahs' Angus, an' Mahs' 
 Angus he t'ink Sam des' de succombobbles' 
 nigguh 'long de ol' Cape Fair. 
 
 " Mahs' Angus he des' natch'ly done meek a 
 fool o' hese'ff ovuh dat Snuffy Sam," my ol' 
 mammy she say, " an' it a heaven-bo'n wonduh of 
 de skies," she say, " dat Sam he doan' cut sticks 
 an' sheck de mud o' de Cape Fair kentry off he 
 heels long 'fo' he done did do it, depow'ful heap 
 o' chances w'at he mahsuh give him." 
 
 Dat w'at. my ol' mammy she done declah, but 
 Sam he bean on de plahntation mo'n a yeah, 
 chippuh an' peeuht as kin be, an' if anybody had 
 
Snuffy Sam's Kingdom. 277 
 
 des' meek a little whispuh dat dey done t'inkdat 
 nigguh gwan to run away some day, folks des' 
 natch'ly set dat pusson down as crazy — crazy as 
 a mullet w'at bean fool enough to suck in de 
 doughball wiv de jimson-weed p'ison seeds mash 
 up in it, an' dat bean de crazies' t'ing w'at evuh 
 bean seen in de wahtuh, or on de Ian' below or 
 in de sky above, suh ! But one mo'nin' Mahs' 
 Angus he go down to de co'nfiel', an' peah's 
 lack he ain' feelin' des' sahtin in he mind. 
 
 "Whah Snuffy Sam } " he done inquiah. 
 
 De dahkies dey all do declah dey hain' see 
 Snuffy Sam not sence he t'un in las' night. 
 
 Den i\Iahs' Angus he skrimmidge back to de 
 house, an' w'en he done git dah de women folks 
 dey all bean combobbullated woful, an' de young 
 Missy's gal, Teety, she des' bout cryin' de eyes 
 outen huh haid. 
 
 " Waffo' dat wuffless wench done belluh'n so .? " 
 IMahs' Angus he holluh. " Huh mammy done 
 gone daid ? " 
 
 "No, suh," de young Missy she whimpuh. 
 " Some un done stole Teety's neck beads ! Dat's 
 w'at some un done do ! " she whimpuh. 
 
 "Whah Snuffy Sam?" Mahs' Angus he 
 cry. 
 
278 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 Nobody dey doan' know whah Snuffy Sam 
 bean. Dey hain' seen Snuffy Sam sence he done 
 t'un in las' night. 
 
 Den Mahs' Angus he cletch he haid an' hoUuh : 
 
 *' Mighty Gabr'el ! Dat crantorious nigguh 
 he done pull de wool ovuh my eyes, sho's I 
 bean bo'n ! " 
 
 Den de women folks dey all combobbullated 
 mo' an' mo', 'kaze now dey know dat Snuffy 
 Sam done stole Teety's neck-beads, w'at de 
 young Missy done fotch huh 'way fum N'oleens, 
 Time Mahs' Angus done fotch Snuffy Sam to 
 de plahntation. Snuffy Sam done stole de beads 
 an' skuffle 'way fum Mahs' Angus, sho'ly ! 
 'Sides dat, Mahs' Angus's canoe it cain't be foun', 
 neiduh. 'Peahs lack dat runaway nigguh he 
 ain' gwan to meek he feet so' sheckin' de mud 
 o' de Cape Fair kentry offen 'em, an' he des' done 
 sail away in Mahs' Angus's canoe ! Jicketty ! 
 Dat bean a monst'us sly coon, dat Snuffy Sam, 
 suh ! Monst'us sly ! But whah he done gone ? 
 Dey cain't fine out. Dey chase down de rivuh, 
 miles an' miles, but dey cain't git on dat nigguh's 
 track nowhah, an' dey have to give it up. My 
 ol' mammy say dat she heah Mahs' McKeevuh 
 say dat in all he life he nevuh did heah a man 
 
Snuffy Sam's Kingdom. 279 
 
 swah so monst'us sulphumerous as Mahs' Angus 
 swah w'en he have to give up chasin' Snuffy 
 Sam, and Mahs' IMcKeevuh bean a man w'at had 
 a pow'ful gift fo' swah'n', he ownse'ff. I done 
 heah dat man commune wiv he tempuh some- 
 times till I glance up in de sky an' t'ink dat ef 
 de showuh o' brimstone evuh do be comin' it 
 sahtin'ly mus' be on de way des' den. Mahs' 
 McKeevuh sahtin'ly do have a pow'ful gift dat 
 a-way, but he declah, so my ol' mammy done 
 say, dat he nevuh did heah a man swah 
 so monst'us sulphumerous as IMahs' Angus 
 done do w'en he have to give up chasin' Snuffy 
 Sam. 
 
 Dis hyuh happen des' befo' de shuckin' o' de 
 co'n, an' two, free weeks attuh de co'n bean 
 shuck, des' about dusk time one evenin', my ol' 
 mammy she settin' in de cabin all alone, an' she 
 heah tap, tap, tap, on de do' jam. She look up, 
 an' den she mos' drap daid whah she sot, 'kaze 
 dah at the do' stood suffin' long an' slim an' 
 bony, wiv its eyes sonk 'way back in its haid ! 
 It riz a skinny han', an' it look at my ol' mammy 
 an' say, kyine o' low lack : 
 
 ''Sh-h-h-h!" 
 
 IMamrny she done 'spec' huh time bean come, 
 
28o The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 but she ain' gwan to go wivout a wud, an' so 
 she say : 
 
 *'W'at unduh de gleamin' sky an' glittuh'n 
 stahs yo' done do in de flaish dat yo' cain't res' 
 in yo' grave ? " 
 
 *'Sh-h-h-h!" dat skinny an' bony suffin' 
 whispuh. " I'se in de flaish now, so I is ! 
 Rosybell, doan' yo' know me ? " 
 
 When dat suffin' done whispuh huh name dat 
 a-way, my ol' mammy she jump mos' outen huh 
 skin, but dat minute she git ovuh huh skeeuh 
 an' she say : 
 
 '* I doan' know yo' ! " she say, " but ef yo' 
 bean in de flaish I doan' see whah yo' done tote 
 'it ! I doan' see nuffin' but skin an' bones ! " 
 
 " Sh-h-h-h ! '' de suffin' whispuh some mo'. 
 " Rosybell, I bean Snuffy Sam ! " 
 
 My ol' mammy she spreng to huh feet 
 an" cletch dat suffin' by its shoulduh an' tu'n its 
 haid to de do'. Sho's yo' bo'n, suh, it bean 
 Snuffy Sam, all shronk an' sonk an' rattly. But 
 it bean Snuffy Sam, sho's yo' bo'n ! My ol' mam- 
 my she cletch him fastuh yit, an' she gruzzle at 
 him an' say : 
 
 " Yo' onfortnit sniffgozzlin' nigguh, yo' ! 
 Whah little Teety's neck beads ? " 
 
Snuffy Sam's Kingdom. 281 
 
 Snuffy Sam he winch, an' he slump down, an' 
 he say : 
 
 " Sh-h-h-h, Rosybell ! I done trade 'em fo' de 
 kingdom ! " 
 
 i\[y ol' mammy she drap Sam an' des' squattle 
 down in huh cheeuh an' look at him, 'kaze she 
 cain't speak. She t'ink Sam he done gone outen 
 he haid, sho'ly. But he sheck it an' say he 
 ain't. 
 
 " Shet de do', Rosybell," he say, " an' I done 
 tell yo' all about it." 
 
 jMammy she shet de do', an' Snuffy Sam he sot 
 down, an" dis hyuh bean w'at he done tell huh, 
 lack she tell me, many, many times. 
 
 " I done bean t'inkin' a long time," Snuffy 
 Sam he say, " dat I gittin' tahd doin' wuck fo' 
 udduh folks, an' I des' meek up my mind I sail 
 away fum de Cape Fair kentry an' go 'skivvuh 
 an island summuhs an' be de king of it, an' 
 meek folks wuck fo' me. I snick little Teety's 
 neck beads, 'kaze I t'ink mebbe I done git a 
 queen, an' dem dah beads dey bean des' det'ing 
 fo' huh, I skrimmidge away in Mahs' Angus's 
 canoe, an' I sail an' I sail. I git 'way down by 
 de 'quatuh, Rosybell, an' dah I t'ink I kin teck 
 a breavin' spell. I done tie de canoe to 'quatuh, 
 
282 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 an' dah I rest an' rest on de waves. I ain' bean 
 dah only little w'ile, w'en I see a mighty shadow, 
 an' I look up. Rosybell, it bean a monst'us big 
 fowl, comin' swoop, swoop, right down to'ds me, 
 an' I weesh I back on de ol' plahntation. But 
 dat monst'us fowl it ain't attuh me. It swosh in 
 de ocean right by de canoe, an' I see dat one of 
 its mighty wings bean hu't despr'it. I he'p dat 
 po' fowl in de canoe, an' I doctuh, an' doctuh, 
 an' doctuh de wing till it done git well. Dat 
 fowl so t'ankful dat w'en I ontie de canoe 
 fum de 'quatuh an' sail away ag'in, dat fowl 
 it fly an' fly 'long wiv me mo'n a hund'd mile, 
 an' den it swoop away an' lose itseff in de 
 sky, an' co'se I nevuh did spec' to see dat fowl 
 no mo. 
 
 " Bahmby, Rosybell, I done sight Ian', an' I 
 pull dat a-way, an' sho ! it bean an island ! I 
 swull up an' feel mighty proud, 'kaze I 'skivvuh 
 de island, an' I reckon I des' nuffin less dan a 
 king dat very minute. I Ian' on de sho'. Duh 
 bean heaps o' san' dah, but I doan' see nobody 
 resh to meet me, an' I des gwan to git in de canoe 
 an' sail away ag'in w'en I heah suffin' grunt. I 
 tu'n an' look, an' mighty Gabr'el, Rosybell ! 
 dah Stan' a pirate^ sho's yo' bo'n ! He p'int a 
 
Snuffy Sam's Kingdom. 283 
 
 pistol in one han', an' he swish a big knife in de 
 udduh. 
 
 " ' Waffo' yo' scufflin' 'roun' dis hyuh sho' ? ' 
 de pirate holluh. 
 
 " ' NuffinV I say ; ' only, I t'ink mebbe I 'skiv- 
 vuh it an' kin be its king.' 
 
 " De pirate he fotch a grozzle way down in he 
 froat, an' it meek me jump lack a skeeuht buck- 
 rabbit, Rosybell ; an' den he put up he pistol an' 
 he knife, an' he say : 
 
 " '■ Duh done bean a king on dis hyuh island 
 already, suh,' he say. ' But dat king bean fo' 
 sale.' 
 
 " Den de pirate he tell me dat de king he got 
 a queen an' a daughtuh, but de daughtuh bean 
 de queen's step-daughtuh, an' de queen she des' 
 mo' dan hate de po' gal. 
 
 " ' Yo' des' buy out de king an' marry the 
 daughtuh,' de pirate say, ' an' kick de queen 
 off de island, an' den de island done bean yo'n, 
 suh, an' yo' bean de king till yo' die.' 
 
 " So I done go 'long wiv dis hyuh pirate, Rosy- 
 bell, on' I trade Teety's neck beads fo' de king- 
 dom ! " 
 
 Den my ol' mammy she cain't stan' it no lon- 
 guh, an' she breck in on Snuffy Sam, an' she cry : 
 
284 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 " Whah de kingdom, den ? Wat yo' done do 
 wiv dat kingdom w'at yo' trade Teety's neck 
 beads fo', yo' scrumbacious nigguh, yo' ? " 
 
 Snuffy Sam he look skeeuht, an' he whispuh t 
 
 *' Sh-h-h-h, Rosybell ! I done gwan to tellyo' 
 all 'bout it ! I trade de beads f o' de kingdom, an' 
 I des' gwan to marry de king's daughtuh an' 
 mount de throne an' wave de sceptuh, w'en w'at 
 yo' t'ink ? Dat pirate he dona teck de king off in 
 de woods an' knock him in de haid ! Den de 
 pirate done marry de king's widduh an' mount 
 de throne he ownseff ! Dat de monst'uses out- 
 ridge I evuh do heah about ! An' dat pirate he 
 tie me on de back of a big snappin' tuttle, Rosy- 
 bell, an' drive de tuttle out to sea ! " 
 
 Den my ol' mammy breck in on Snuffy Sam 
 ag'in an' cry : 
 
 '* Sahvs yo' right, yo' w'ite livuh nigguh yo ! 
 Waffo yo' doan grab de pirate's pistol an' scattuh 
 he brains on de sho', an' den marry de king's 
 daughtuh an' mount de throne ? W'at yo' done 
 been tinkin' 'bout, yo' po' trash, yo' ? " 
 
 ''Sh-h-h-h, Rosybell!" Snuffy Sam he say. 
 I done grab de pistol, but it tumble in de sea an' 
 den w'at I gwan to do ? De tuttle it swum an' 
 it swum till I bean des' chokin' an' stahvin' to 
 
Snuffy Sam's Kingdom. 285 
 
 deff, an' I weesh I back on de ol' plahntation, I 
 bet yo' ! " Des' w'en I done give up an' shet my 
 eyes to die, I see a big fowl swoopin' down on 
 me. 
 
 " Tucky buzzard ! " I cry. " It cain't wait till 
 I die 'fo' it gwan to pick de meat offen my po' 
 bones ! " 
 
 " But it doan't bean a tucky buzzard, Rosybell. 
 It done bean dat mons'us big fowl w'at I doctuh 
 its wing, time I tie de canoe to de 'quatuh ! Dat 
 kyine fowl it peck dem ropes loose w'at hoi' me 
 fas' to de tuttle, an' it tow me, an' Ian' me squah 
 at de mouf o' de Cape Faih Rivuh ! 
 
 "An' hyuh I is, Rosybell! Des' yo' tote de 
 news gently to Mahs' Angus, an' tell him Snuffy 
 Sam bean rejoicin' from he haid to he toes to 
 git back to de ol' plahntation an' dat he woan' 
 nevuh leave it no mo'." 
 
 An' my ol' mammy she tote de news to Mahs' 
 Angus, an' he so pow'ful glad to git dat nigguh 
 back dat he doan' even flog him, suh, an' he 
 swah he mos' have a notion to fit up a vessel an' 
 sail to dat island whah Snuffy Sam trade Teety's 
 neck beads fo' de kingdom, an' wipe dat 
 monst'us pirate off de face de erf. But he 
 doan' nevuh do it, an' dat des' w'at stick in my 
 
286 The Black Homer of Jimtown. 
 
 crap, suh. Why doan' Mahs' Angus do dat ? 
 Ef yo' doan' say dat ottuh stick in my crap, den 
 I bet yo' t'ink I got a pow'ful big crap, suh ! 
 Dat's w'at I bet yo' 1 
 
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