PS 3525 1495 T8 S3N 5LATTERNS AND A KING BY EDNA ST. VINCENT MILLAY STEWART KIDD MODERN PLAYS EDITED BY FRANK SHAY TWO SLATTERNS AND A KING BY EDNA ST. VINCENT MILLAY STEWART KIDD MODERN PLAYS EDITED BY FRANK SHAY Stewart Kidd Dramatic Anthologies Fifty Contemporary One-Act Plays Edited by FRANK SHAY and PIERRE LOVING THIS volume contains FIFTY REPRESENTATIVE ONE-ACT PLAYS of the MODERN THEATER, chosen from the dramatic works ot con temporary writers all over the world and is the second volume >n the Stewart Kidd Dramatic Anthologies, the first being European Theories of the Drama, by Barrett H. Clark, which has been so enthusiastically received. The editors have scrupulously sifted countless plays and have selected the best available in English. One-half the plays have never before been pub lished in book form; thirty-one are no longer available in any other edition. The work satisfies a long-felt want for a handy collection of the choicest plays produced by the art theaters all over the world. It is a complete . eper- tory for a little theater, a volume for the study of the modern drama, a rep resentative collection of the world s best short plays. CONTENTS AUSTRIA Schnitzler (Arthur) Literature BELGIUM Maeterlinck (Maurice) The Intruder BOLIVIA More (Federico) Interlude DENMARK Wied (Gustave) Autumn Fires FRANCE Ancey (George) M. Lamblin Porto-Riche (Georges) Francoise s Luck GERMANY Ettinger (Karl) Altruism von Hof mannst hal (Hugo) Madonna Dia- nora Wedekind (Frank) The Tenor GREAT BRITAIN Bennett (Arnold) A Good Woman Calderon (George The Little Stone House Cannan (Gilbert) Mary s Wedding Dowson (Ernest) The Pierrot of the Min ute. Ellis (Mrs. Havelock) The Subjection of Kezia Hankin (St. John) The Constant Lover INDIA Mukerji (Dhan Gopal) The Judgment of Indra IRELAND Gregory (Lady) The Workhouse Ward HOLLAND Speenhoff (J. H.) Louise HUNGARY Biro (Lajos) The Grandmother ITALY Giocosa (Giuseppe) The Rights of the Soul RUSSIA Andreyev, (Leonid) Love of One s Neigh bor Tchekoff -(Anton) The Boor SPAIN Benevente (Jacinto) His Widow s Hus band Quinteros (Serafina and Joaquin Aiverez) A Sunny Morning SWEDEN Strindberg (August) The Creditor UNITED STATES Beach (Lewis) Brothers Cowan (Sada) In the Morgue Crocker (Bosworth) The Baby Carriage Cronyn (George W.) A Death in Fever Flat Davies (Mary Carolyn) The Sla\e with Two Faces Day (Frederick L.) The Slump Planner (Hildegard) Mansions Glaspell (Susan) Trifles Gerstenberg (Alice) The Pot Boiler Helburn (Theresa) Enter the Hero Hudson (Holland) The Shepherd in the Distance Kemp (Harry) Boccaccio s Untoll Tale Langner (Lawrence) Another Way Out MacMillan (Mary) The Shadowed Star Millay (Edna St. Vincent) Aria di Capo Moeller (Philip) Helena s Husband O Neill (Eugene) He Stevens (Thomas Wood) The Nursery Maid of Heaven Stevens (Wallace) Three Travelers Watch a Sunrise Tompkins (Frank G.) Sham Walker (Stuart) The Medicine Shew Wellman (Rita) For All Time Wilde (Percival) The Finger of Od YIDDISH Ash (Sholom) Night Pinski (David) Forgotten Souls Large 8vo, 585 pages. Net, $5.00 Send for Complete Dramatic Catalogue STEWART KIDD COMPANY PUBLISHERS, - - CINCINNATI, U. S. A. STEWART KIDD MODERN PLAYS Edited by Frank Shay TWO SLATTERNS AND A KING Stewart Kidd Modern Plays Edited by FRANK SHAY To meet the immensely increased demands of the play-reading public and those interested in the modern drama, Stewart Kidd are issuing under the general editorship of Frank Shay a series of plays from the pens of the world s best contemporary writers. No effort is being spared to secure the best work available, and the plays are issued in a form that is at once attractive to readers and suited to the needs of the performer and producer. Buffalo Express: "Each play is of merit. Each is unlike the other. The group furnishes a striking example of the realistic trend of the modern drama." From time to time special announcements will be printed giving com plete lists of the plays. SHAM, a Social Satire in One Act. By Frank G. Tompkins. Originally produced by Sam Hume, at the Arts and Crafts Theatre, Detroit. San Francisco Bulletin: "The lines are new and many of them are decidedly clever." Providence Journal : "An ingenious and merry little one-act play." THE SHEPHERD IN THE DISTANCE, a Pantomime in One Act. By Holland Hudson. Originally produced by the Washington Square Players. Oakland Tribune : "A pleasing pantomime of the Ancient East." MANSIONS, a Play in One Act. By Hildegarde Planner. Originally produced by the Indiana Little Theatre Society. Three Arts Magazine : "This thoughtful and well-written play of Characters and Ideals has become a favorite with Little Theatres and is now available in print." HEARTS TO MEND, a Fantasy in One Act. By H. A. Overstreet. Originally produced by the Fireside Players, White Plains, N. Y. St. Louis Star : "It is a light whimsy and well carried out." San Francisco Chronicle: "No one is likely to hear or read it without real and legitimate pleasure." SIX WHO PASS WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL. By Stuart Walker. Originally produced by the Portmanteau Players at Christodora House, New York City. Brooklyn Eagle: "Literary without being pedantic, and dramatic without being noisy." OTHERS TO FOLLOW. Bound in Art Paper. Each, net, .50 Two SLATTERNS AND A KING A MORAL INTERLUDE By EDNA ST. VINCENT MILLAY Author of "Aria da Capo", etc. First produced at Vassar College. CINCINNATI STEWART KIDD COMPANY PUBLISHERS COPYRIGHT, 1921 STEWART KIDD COMPANY All rights reserved COPYRIGHT IN ENGLAND No amateur or professional use permitted of "Two SLATTERNS AND A KING" without written authorization first obtained from Stewart Kidd Company, 121 East Fifth Street. Cincinnati, O., to whom all applications should be addressed. TWO SLATTERNS AND A KING PERSONS THE KING CHANCE the VICE TIDY the false SLATTERN SLUT the true SLATTERN 498417 THE PROLOGUE AND THE EPILOGUE SPOKEN BY CHANCE Two SLATTERNS AND A KING PROLOGUE I am that cunning infidel By men called CHANCE, you know me well. It is through me you met your wives; Through me your harvest blights or thrives; And one and all, through me, to-day Hither you came to see the play, Which if your favor still you lend, As now, so on until the end, You shall be taught what way a King Though a sublime and awful thing And even wise, may come to be A laughing-stock, and all through me ! (Exit) (ENTER KING) KING I am the King of all this land: I hold a sceptre in my hand; Upon my head I wear a crown; Everybody stands when I sit down. (Sits) CHANCE (Appearing to audience; he is invisible throughout the play to the other players in it.) Excepting me, please bear in mind I sit whenever I feel inclined. (Sits) KING Although my lands are wide and long, My walls right thick, my armies strong, I am not wholly satisfied. 9 TWO SLATTERNS AND A KING CHANCE That is because you have no bride. KING Who speaks? Come forth and, if you dare, Say once again what causes my care! Why I am discontent with life ! CHANCE It is because you have no wife. KING A woman in my royal house ! A woman! A wife! A bride! A spouse! Bold stranger, this is not the cure, For a woman I could never endure ! CHANCE Per-CHANCE to-morrow you will find You have altered your imperial mind. (Exeunt KING and CHANCE severally) (ENTER TIDY) TIDY I am TIDY, I have been All my life both neat and clean. From my outside to my in Clean am I unto my skin. Every day into a bucket My hands I dip, my head I duck it; And if the water plenty be I sometimes wet some more of me. This is my kitchen, where you will find All things pleasant and to your mind; Against the wall in orderly pairs One, two, one, two, observe my chairs. 10 TWO SLATTERNS AND A KING In the middle of the room my table stands : I would not move it for many lands. My basins and bowls are all in their places; The bottoms of my pots are as clean as your faces. My kettle boils so cheerily, It is like a friendly voice to me ; About my work I merrily sing, And I brush my hearth with a white duck s wing. Oh, full is every cupboard, sharp is every knife ! My bright, sunny kitchen is the pride of my life ! (Exit TIDY) (ENTER SLUT) SLUT I am SLUT; I am a slattern, You must not take me for your pattern. I spend my days in slovenly ease ; I sleep when I like and I wake when I please. My manners, they are indolent; In clutter and filth I am quite content. Here is my kitchen, where I stir up my messes, And wear out my old shoes and soiled silk dresses. My table sags beneath the weight Of stale food and unwashed plate ; The cat has tipped the pitcher o er, The greasy stream drips onto the floor; Under the table is a broken cup I am too tired to pick it up. (Exit SLUT) ii TWO SLATTERNS AND A KING (ENTER KING) KING Now I will no longer tarry For I think that I will marry. Now the one thing in my lire Is to marry me a wife. But I will not be content With a wench that s indolent, Or take a slattern for a spouse, I will go from house to house, Unheralded that there may be No cleaning up because of me And that maid whose kitchen s neatest Will I have to be my sweetest. (Exit KING) (CHANCE APPEARS) CHANCE That I am absent do not fear For that you have not seen me here, For know, I oft invisibly Do move among the things you see; And to confuse and thwart the King Through Slut and Tidy, is a thing Dear to my nature, therefore heed, And you shall see a show indeed ! (Exit CHANCE) (Enter TIDY in great disorder) TIDY Oh, dear, oh, dear, what shall I do? Oh, such a plight I never knew ! Though I arose as is my way An hour before the break of day, 12 TWO SLATTERNS AND A KING Here it is noon, and nothing done ; The milk has soured in the sun, And the sweet, pretty duck I broiled A neighbor s dog has dragged and spoiled; I beat him with my hands and wept ! Straight through the window then he leapt, And through the window after him, With scratched face and bruised limb, And on through mire and briar and bog Hours and hours 1 chased that dog, Stumbling, uttering awful cries While into my kitchen swarmed the flies ! I came back at half-past ten ! Oh, what a sight did greet me then ! My fair white sheets I hung so fine Down in the black muck under the line ! And out of the oven^from cake,s n pies V Beautiful tarts the thick smoke risin ! I knelt down my tarts to remove, And my quince jelly that stood on the stove Up did boil, and, as you see, Boiled itself all over me ! All over the floor, all over the room, Whereat I ran to fetch the broom The broom ! The broom instead of the mop ! To fetch a broom to wipe up slop ! And with its handle smashed the clock s face, Getting glass all over the place, And knocked the dishes off the shelf, And fell to my knees and cut myself, And wept and cried and when I would rise Could not see for the tears in my eyes;. So tripped on a chair and, to save a fall, Caught at the table, then flat did sprawl, 13 TWO SLATTERNS AND A KING Dragging the table down with me, And everything on it, as well you may see ! I cannot live in such a state ! But where to begin is past my pate ! (Enter KING) KING I am the King of all these lands: Down upon your knees and hands. Wishing to marry me, I have said That the tidiest maiden I would wed In all my realm, wherefore I go From kitchen to kitchen, that I may know And judge for myself what maid is worth To sit at my side in feasting and in mirth. Untidy Spill-time, it is easy to see That my fair bride you never will be. TIDY Oh, great King, hear me when I say This has been a most unusual day ! It is by chance alone you see In such a state my kitchen and me ! I can set us both to rights in a minute ! KING In vain ! I have set a trap and caught you in it ! Vain, wench, your lies and your pretense ! I see what I see and I hie me hence ! (Exit KING) (Exit TIDY, weeping) (ENTER SLUT) SLUT Lest you know me not in this disguise I tell you I am SLUT, and I tell you no lies. 14 TWO SLATTERNS AND A KING My face and my hands are clean and neat; Fresh is my frock, trim are my feet. But I assure you you are not wrong To think that so tidy I shall not be for long. And if the story you wish from me, I will tell you how this came to be : Dull was the day and tedious my book; I saw no pleasure wherever I might look; I had done everything that I knew how to do, And I could think of nothing new. But at last I thought of one Thing that I had never done. And I said, "I will take a broom, And I will sweep this room! I will wash this floor !" I had never washed it before "All things in order will I arrange, Although I hate order, for it will be a change." So here I am, as you can see I and my kitchen as clean as can be. But in a room as clean as this My bones ache and I find no bliss. So watch, and soon it will appear Much less orderly and drear. (Enter KING) KING Down upon your knees and hands ! I am the King of all these lands. Wishing to marry me, I have said That the tidiest maiden I would wed In all my realms, wherefore I go From kitchen to kitchen that I may Yet stay! This kitchen is so tidy, I think that you must be. my bridey ! 15 TWO SLATTERNS AND A KING As far and wide as I have been So neat a kitchen I have not seen; Therefore I say you are my wife, For the remainder of your life. SLUT (aside) To point him out his error at first I intended, But least said is soonest mended. (Exeunt KING with SLUT) r (Enter TIDY) TIDY Now once again with me All is as it is wont to be. Now once again you see me stand The tidiest lady in the land. If the King should see me now He would tell a different tale, I trow. (Enter KING) KING Oh, lovely lady, who are you, That I am a talking to ? TIDY She am I whom you did scorn This very day at morn. KING It may not be as you have said, For you would I gladly wed! TIDY I thank you for the favor, but They tell me you have married SLUT! 16 TWO SLATTERNS AND A KING KING Oh, cock s bones ! And strike me dead ! Is it a Slut that I have wed? (Enter SLUT dressed as at first) SLUT So here you dally whilst I sit at home ! Never any more abroad shall you roam, But sit at home with me for the rest of your life, For I am your lawful wedded wife ! KING Oh, woe is me, what a life will be mine ! SLUT It is too late now to repine : Home with me you come for the rest of your life, For SLUT is your lawful wedded wife ! (Exit SLUT with KING) TIDY A slattern is a fearful sight, ah, me ! What pleasure it gives so tidy to be ! (Exit TIDY) EPILOGUE Now that the play is at an end, By CHANCE you have enjoyed it, friend; By CHANCE to you his sweet was gall; By CHANCE you slumbered through it all. Howe er it be, it was by CHANCE The KING was led so merry a dance, By CHANCE that TIDY met disgrace, By CHANCE alone SLUT washed her face; TWO SLATTERNS AND A KING From morn to eve the whole day long It was by CHANCE that things went wrong. Wherefore, good friends, t escape derision, Be not o er hasty in your decision, For he who heedeth not this rule BY CHANCE HE WILL BE CALLED A FOOL! 18 Stewart Kidd Dramatic Publications The Truth About the Theater Anonymous $1.25 British and American Drama of Today Barrett H. Clark 2.50 European Theories of the Drama Barrett H. Clark 5.00 Contemporary French Dramatists Barrett H. Clark 2.50 Four Plays of the Free Theater Barrett H. Clark 2.50 The Provincetown Plays Geo. Cram Cook & Frank Shay, Editors 2.50 The Two Cromwells Liddell DeLesseline 1.50 Plays and Players Walter Prichard Eaton 3.00 The Antigone of Sophocles Prof. Jos. Edward Harry i .25 The Changing Drama Archibald Henderson 2.50 European Dramatists Archibald Henderson 3.00 George Bernard Shaw: His Life and Works Archibald Henderson 7.50 Short Plays Mary MacMillan 2.50 More Short Plays Mary MacMillan 2.50 The Gift Margaret Douglas Rogers i.oo Comedies of Words and Other Plays Arthur Schnitzler, Translated by Pierre Loving 2.50 Fifty Contemporary One-Act Plays Compiled by Frank Shay & Pierre Loving 5.00 The Best Short Plays, 1920 1921 Edited by Frank Shay 2.50 Ten One- Act Comedies Edited by Frank Shay 2.50 Lucky Pehr Arthur Strindburg, Translated by Velma Swanston Howard 2.50 Easter August Strindberg, Translated by Velma Swanston Howard 2.50 The Hamlet Problem and Its Solution Emerson V enable 1.50 Portmanteau Plays Stuart Walker, net 2.50 More Portmanteau Plays Stuart Walker, net 2.50 Portmanteau Adaptations Stuart Walker, net 2.50 Three Plays "Madretta", "At the Shrine", "Addio" Stark Young 1.35 Stewart Kidd Modern Plays Mansions Hildegarde Planner .50 The Shepherd in the Distance Holland Hudson .50 Hearts to Mend H. A. Overstreet .50 Sham . Frank G. Tompkins .50 Six Who Pass While the Lentils Boil Stuart Walker .50 The Emperor Jones Eugene O Neill .50 Sweet and Twenty Floyd Dell .50 Two Slatterns and a King Edna St. Vincent Millay .50 Stewart Kidd Dramatic Anthologies European Theories of the Drama By BARRETT H. CLARK An Anthology of Dramatic Theory and Criticism from Aristotle to the present day in a series of selected texts, with Commentaries, Biographies and Bibliographies A book of paramount importance. This monumental anthology assembles for the first time the epoch-making theories and criticisms of the drama from the beginnings in Greece to the present, and each excerpt is chosen with refer ence to its effect on subsequent dramatic writing. The texts alone are immensely valuable, and the comments constitute a history of dramatic criticism. It is the most important body of doctrine on the drama to be obtained, appeals to all who are interested in the theatre, and is indispensable to students. The introduction to each section of the book is followed by an exhaustive bibliography. Each writer whose work is represented is made the subject of a brief biography. The entire volume is rendered doubly valuable by the index, which is worked out in great detail. Contributors to the Success of this Volume: Aristotle Moliere Goethe Horace Racine Schlegel Donatus Boileau Hebbel Dante Saint-Evremont Wagner Daniello Dryden Freytag Minturno Milton Hugo Scaliger Rymer Dumas fils Sebillet Congreve Sarcey De la Taille Farquhar Zola Cervantes Addison Brunetiere Lope de Vega Johnson Maeterlinck Tirso de Molina Goldsmith Coleridge Sidney Goldoni Lamb Jonson Lessing Hazlitt Ogier Voltaire Pinero Chapelain Diderot Jones Abbe d Aubignac Beaumarchais Shaw Corneille Schiller Archer Large 8vo, 500 pages Net $5.00 24 Brown Turkey Morocco .... Net $12.00 Stewart Kidd Play Series , -,c . The Portmanteau Plays By STUART WALKER Edited and with an introduction by Edward Hale Bierstadt Brooklyn Eagle: "All of the plays in these attractive maroon volumes are literary without being pedantic, and dramatic without being noisy. They are a genuine addition to the steadily growing list of worthwhile plays by American drama tists. Stewart Kidd are to be congratulated on presenting them to the public in such attractive format." Vol. i Portmanteau Plays Introduction The Trimplet Nevertheless Six Who Pass While the Lentils Boil Medicine Show Vol. 2 More Portmanteau Plays Introduction The Lady of the Weeping Willow Tree The Very Naked Boy Jonathan Makes a Wish Vol. 3 Portmanteau Adaptations Introduction Gammer Gurton s Needle The Birthday of the Infanta Sir David Wears a Crown Nellijumbo Each of the above volumes handsomely bound and illus trated. Per volume net, in Silk Cloth, $2.50; y Turkey Morocco, $8.50. THEPROVINCETOvviN Edited by GEORGE CRAM COOK and FRANK SHA A . With a foreword by HUTCH IN HAPGOOD Containing the ten best plays produced by the Provir town Players, which are: "SUPPRESSED DESIRES", George Cram Cook and Susan Glasr "ARIA DA CAPO", Edna St. Vincent Millay. "COCAINE", Pendleton King. "NIGHT", James Oppenheim. "ENEMIES", Hutchin Hapgood and Neith Boyce. ) "THE ANGEL INTRUDES", Floyd Dell. "BOUND EAST FOR CARDIFF", Eugene O Neill. "THE WIDOW S VEIL", Alice Rostetter. "STRING OF THE SAMISEN", Rita Wellman. "NOT SMART", Wilbur D. Steele. Every author, with one except -.on, has a book or more to his credit. Several are at the top of their profession. Rita Wellman, a Saturday Evening Post star, has had two or thre plays on Broadway, and has a new novel, "The Wings of Desire." Cook and Glaspell are well known he for his novels, and Miss Glaswell for novels and plays. Edna Millay is one of America s best poets. Steele, according t.> O Brien, is America s best short-story writer. Oppenheim has over a dozen novels, books of poems, and essays to his credit. O Neill has a play on Broadway now: "The Emperor Jones." Hutch. Hapgood is an author of note. A record of the work of the most serious and important of all the new theatre movements in America. New York Sun: "Tense and vivid little dramas." Dallas News: "Uniform in excellence of workmanship, varied in sub ject matter the volume is a distinct contribution to American dra matic art. i2mo. Net, $2.50 Send for Complete Dramatic Catalogue STEWART KIDD COMPANY