FOR THE INSTRUCTION OF SUCH POLITICIANS AS ARE OF TENDER YEATS, | Cartfullg <&0mpileb bg fibers |Tcarntb mtb Jl^signing ||Un. AUTHORIZED AND WITH ADMONITIONS BY FERNANDO THE GOTHAMITE, High Priest of tfce Order of Copperheads. CO o C\J 00 NEW-YORK : PUBLISHED FOIl THE COMPILERS BY IR TOUSEY, No. 121 NASSAU STREET 1864. THE COPPERHEAD \i CATECHISM. FOR THE INSTRUCTION OF SUCH POLITICIANS AS ARE OF TENDER YEARS. CAREFULLY COMPILED BY DIYERS LEARNED AND DESIGNING MEN. AUTHORIZED AND "WITH ADMONITIONS BY FEKNAtfDO THE GOTHAMITE, HIGH PRIEST OF THE OEDEK OF COPPERHEADS. NEW-YOKE: PUBLISHED FOR THE COMPILERS BY SINCLAIR TOUSEY, 121 NASSAU STREET. 1864. Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1864, BY MONTGOMERY WILSON, In the Clerk s Office of the District Court of the United States for the Southern District of New York. EEASOXS FOR THE PUBLICATION OF THIS WOEK. THE times are out of joint, and there is scarcely a Cop perhead able at the present time to obtain a crumb of the public pickings. It is sad to contemplate the presence of those pernicious influences which, overshadow the land, and have caused the " light of other days" to fade into obscurity. Time was when all the pleasant places were filled by those who were " sound upon the goose," but it is presumptuous in the men who now guide the move ments of " Uncle Sam s web feet," to arrogate to them selves an ability to deal with the questions of the day equal to that possessed by those who have heretofore, like their Roman prototypes, saved the Capitol by their cackling. Our teachers have neglected their duties, and have allowed the mental powers of those over whom they should have watched with a parental care, to run waste. The tide upon which we are drifting must be turned. The Ship of State must be anchored in the old harbor, wherein she so long and so proudly floated in safety. Considering that the time is rapidly approaching when this Ship of State will hav^e to be manned anew, it is ne- Ml Rf X REASONS FOR PUBLICATION. cessary that instruction should be imparted to those upon whom will devolve the duty of selecting the new crew, so that they may choose men who will each lend a willing hand at the wheel, and will ever have an eye directed to the "shot in the locker." Question and answer have in all ages been adopted as the best medium for imparting informa tion when it is desirable to place the same in a form adapted to the comprehension of the meanest capacity. That form has therefore been adopted in the present case, and it is hoped that by the aid of this Catechism the youthful Copperhead will have deeply implanted in his heart the great principles which will lead him to honor and obey those who rule over him, provided they are of his own party, live quietly and peaceably with all who will allow him to have his own way, and conduct himself as honestly as is compatible with his advance ment in life. In the hope that the seed which is here sown will in due time yield forth an abundant harvest, this little work is given to the world. THE COMPILERS. I do hereby establish this Catechism, and declare it to be the authorized Manual of Instruction, and require that it be received as such by all Members of the Order of Copperheads. FERISTAKDO, High -Priest of the Order. THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. WHAT is the chief aim of a Copperhead in this life f The chief aim of a Copperhead is to abuse the President, vilify the Administration, and glorify himself before the people. What is the purpose lie will serve thereby f He will thereby give assistance to his " friends " in the fulfillment of their desires. To what end will such assistance lead? To the uprooting of Abolitionism, the annihila tion of Republicanism, the establishment of Copper- headism, the perpetration of a Peace, and the gene ral display of Universal Submission. How will abuse of the President and vilification of the Administration lead thereto f By making Foreign Nations believe that the North is distracted by dissension, while the South is pursuing its career in unison. k : 1 : 2 : "THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. How does a Copperhead accomplish this ? By the blatancy of liis utterances which he causes to be heard over every other sound, as the tones of a brazen trumpet are over those of a silver lute. Wherein does a Copperhead glorify himself be fore, the people? By the assumption of an ardent devotion to the Goddess of Liberty, and by the liberal display of the language of departed statesmen. My dear ~boy, what are the articles of thy Belief f IBELIEYE in One Country, One Constitution, One Destiny ; And in George B. McClellan, formerly General- in-Chief of the Armies of the United States ; "Who was born of respectable parents ; Suffered under Edwin M. Stanton ; "Was refused reinforcements, and descended into the swamps of the Chickahomi- ny ; He was driven therefrom by fire and by sword, and upon the seventh day of battle ascended Mal- vern Hill, from whence he withdrew to Harrison s Landing, where he rested many days ; He returned to the Potomac, fought the battle of Antietam, and was then removed from his high command, and entered into Oblivion ; From this he shall one day arise and be elevated to the Presidential chair, there to dispense his favors unto all who follow THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. 13 him, and who firmly rest upon the Platform of the Party to which he belongs. I also believe in the unalienable doctrine of State Eights ; In the admission of Slavery into the Terri tories; In the illegality of the Confiscation Act, of the Conscription, of the Suspension of Habeas Corpus, of Arbitrary Arrests, and of the Proclamation of Eman cipation ; And I finally believe in a Peace which is beyond everybody s understanding ; But I do not be lieve that the Negro was born free or equal to the white or any other man ; And I reserve power to alter this my Belief during my sovereign will and pleasure. From whence do you derive this Belief? From the Councils of the Elders and Teachers of the Order of Copperheads in the immaculate city of Gotham. Who are these Elders and Teachers f Benjamin the son of Hazard, James the Express- man, and Fernando the Gothamite, the latter of whom is High Priest of the Order. How is a Copperhead s belief in One Country, One Constitution, One Destiny, compatible with his desire for the success of Secession ? In the same being all One to him. 14 THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. On what foundation do you rest your belief in George B. McClellan f On the knowledge that his ways are ways of Peace, and that his paths have been paths of pleas antness to the Secessionists, in allowing them to escape from the wrath to come. Have any Laws or Itules "been laid down for your guidance f Yes. What are they ? rpIIE Commandments which Fernando the Goth- JL amite promulgated unto the Bruisers, the Knockdowns, and the Unterrified, who are accus tomed to assemble in the Great Hall of Mozart, in the immaculate city of Gotham. These are : I. Thou shalt have none other President than George B. McClellan, nor shalt tliou hearken to the voice of any other Leader but me. II. Thou shalt not make unto thyself any brazen image that is like unto Wood, who resembletli the vulture that soareth in the air above, and who crawleth on the earth below; Thou shalt not admit of any other Leader nor be subservient to any other s will ; For I Fernando the Gothamite am a crafty and barefaced man, and will visit with condign contempt all such as oppose my THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. 15 ways, and will show kindness to all such as fawn upon and flatter me . III. Thou shalt not connect the name of Fernan do the Gothamite with any profane oath, inasmuch as there is no oath sufficiently strong to be associated therewith. IT. Kemember that thou keep sacred the doc trine of State Eights ; Therein shalt thou find no power in the President to interfere with the inter nal regulations of thy State ; In it he shall make no arbitrary arrests, nor imprison thyself, nor thy eon, nor thy man-servant, nor the stranger that is within thy gates ; For the Laws of thy State are alone sufficient wherewith to punish the ill doer and to protect him who does well. Y. Honor all the propounders and professors of Peace, for their days may not be long in the land. YI. Thou shalt not throttle any fat political "job." YII. Thou shalt not hold illicit intercourse with the Confederates, unless thou^canst run the block ade with thy goods, and thereby increase thy stores of wealth. YIIL Thou shalt not steal more than thy share of official plunder. IX. Thou shalt not bear false witness nor sup- 16 THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. press the truth, unless by so doing thou canst in crease the magnitude of thy wrongs. X. Thou shalt not covet the opinions of Wendell .Phillips, nor the writings of Horace Greeley, nor the speeches of Henry Ward Beecher, nor the color of Fred. Douglas, nor any thing that those people may think, say, practice, or propose. Have any oilier precepts been laid down for thy observance ? Yes, two. What are they ? THOU shalt hate the Nigger wich all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto o it ; Thou shalt hate an Abolitionist like the devil. On these two commandments hang all the Copper heads. What do you chiefly learn from these Com mandments ? My duty to the Leaders of my Party and my du ty to myself. What is the duty you owe to the Leaders of your party f Implicit belief in every thing they say, strict THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. 17 obedience to every thing they require, and the ab ject performance of every work which they impose upon me. What is the duty you owe to yourself ? The feathering of my own nest. Where are nests principally feathered f In the "Woods. What are the characteristics of Woods ? Plots with trees-on. What are Laws ? Acts passed by the representatives of the people, and passed over by the people themselves. What is Congress f A conclave elected by the people to redress their Wrongs, but which robs them of their Eights. What are States ? Sovereign Sisters who, like strong-minded women, are great sticklers for their Rights. Are there any points of difference between the Sisters f Yes; certain "wayward Sisters" desire to depart in peace, whilst the others desire to arrive at peace. Of what is a Civic Corporation composed? Of (k)naves in the common-weal. 18 THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. What is a Ring? A hard band in wliicli there is gold all round and without end. What is an elective Judiciary f A right given offenders to choose their own Judges, and to be tried by their peers. What is a Convention ? A meeting in which few are appointed and many disappointed. What is an Election ? The act of voting for a member, who you ex pect will re-member you. What is Tammany f An old wigwam in which the pipe of Peace has been smoked out. What is Mozart Hall ? A Concert Eoom in which. Wood s Minstrels do the Nigger business. What is a demagogue f A man who rules the roast, and roasts his rulers. What is a Peace Democrat? A Northern man with Southern principles. What is a War Democrat f An old friend with a new face. THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. 19 What is a Confederate f A Southern gentleman of chivalric habits and aristocratic aspirations. Who is Jeff. Davis? A man whose word is his bond, and whose bonds make him dear to all who put their trust in him. Who is Alexander H. Stevens ? A Southern architect who designed an edifice, and used an old " stumbling-block for its corner stone. Who was John B. Floyd ? A much-abused individual, who, although he first stole guns from the North, and afterwards stole away from Fort Donelson, had sufficient honesty left to pay the debt of nature. Who is John H. Morgan f A guerrilla chieftain who took to his arms in Ken tucky and to his legs in Ohio. Who is James M. Mason ? A celebrated Confederate who went to England to grind an axe, and got cut in the operation. Who is John Slidell ? Another celebrated Confederate who tried to wake up France, but found her ]S~ap. too deep. 20 THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. Who is Captain Semmes f A noted sea-dog whose barque we are unable to see, but whose bite we are too often able to feel. Who is James Buchanan ? An " Old Public Functionary," who, before his sands of political life ran out, placed his country in a pickle, and was afterwards sent up Salt River by the people. Who is Governor Seymour A " friend" who promised to test the legality of the Conscription, but was " brought up" by the Habeas Corpus. Who is Vallandigham f A politician^who overstepped the mark and found himself beyond the border. What is Fort Lafayette ? A round residence fer those who do not act on the square. On what ground does Fernando the Gothamite claim the right to be your Leader ? Because "solitary and alone " he put ihe tiawl of Peace in motion. What is a Copperhead s Peace ? A scarecrow in the plumage of a dove. What is the banner of Peace f The flag of many stripes and but few stars. COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. 21 What is the language of treason f Windy words, which sometimes lead to hard blows. What is the language of sympathy f Tempering the wind to the shorn lamb. What is a Peace proposition f A. proposal to turn one cheek to the enemy, after having been smitten by him on the other. What is observed at a Peace Convention f Vessels of Wood floating in dirty waters. What is the fruit of the Copperheads?* The Apple of Discord. What are the weapons of peace f Quaker guns. By whom, and where were they first discovered f By General McClellan at Hunson s Hill. What is the last ditch? The Slough of Despond, towards which the Con federates are fast approaching. What is a riot ? The meeting of a few " friends." What is conscription ? A lottery in which he who draws a prize looks blank. 22 THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. What is the Commutation Clause ? A screen by which you avoid the draft. What is Shoddy? The sensation fiction of the day, in which bad hab its are made to appear good ones, but the decep tion is so threadbare that it is easily seen through, though it possesses the power of being felt. Who is the favorite General in Shoddydom f General PJunder. What is a contract f An undertaking to receive certain monies for uncertain performances. What is a Government Contractor? A Knight of the Golden Fleece. What is the Almighty Dollar f A golden idol which has been demon-etized. What are the principal issues of the war ? Postage currency and Greenbacks. What is Postage Currency ? Filthy lucre. What is a Greenback f A Ledger mystery, with a promising commence ment, and a termination indefinitely postponed. THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. 23 What is Gold? About 50 per cent premium. What is the " impending crisis f" The " irrepressible conflict" between gold and greenbacks. What is the suspension of specie payments f The result of gold being Chased out of circulation. What are Federal Bonds f Pawn-tickets given by Uncle Sam. Wliat are Confederate Bonds f The shackles of slavery. What is a Statute of Limitations f A "Wooden loophole through which offenders may escape Justice. What do you understand to le the meaning of the word Swindle ? That it is an ill-natured definition given to any transaction in which the operator displays his good sense in looking after number One. What is a traitor f A breacher of the peace, What is the writ of Habeas Corpus ? A suspender by which such Preachers are pro tected from falling. 24 THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. Why is Boston the central home of the Aboli tion outcry ? Because it is the hub-bub of the Universe. What is negro equality ? A black draught which is unpalatable to the Cop perheads, and which runs through the entire body of the Abolitionists. What are contrabands f Colored people which the war sent us, and whom we scent a long way off . What is a suspension of hostilities f Rebels hanging negro soldiers. What is a negro soldier f A black man who has deserted the hoe and taken to the drill. What is a standing Army f One that is " all quiet on the Potomac." *WTiat is a standing J^avy f A stone fleet. What is a paper blockade f "The baseless fabric of a vision, which leaves not a wreck behind." What is intervention? A wedge which if used would be influential in splitting the Union. THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. 25 What is cotton f The beetle by which such wedge might be driven home. What is neutrality f Justice with her bandage removed from one of her eyes. What is an amnesty ? A gate through which lost sheep may re-enter the fold. What do you understand ~by the Monroe doc trine f Busying yourself with your neighbors affairs. What is Loyalty f Fidelity to the supreme command, the adherence to which \& foreign to the Copperheads. * What is unconditional Loyalty ? Loyalty without any condition which is accepta ble to the Copperhead. What is your idea- of public opinion f That it is the opinion most in accordance with my own views. What is the false-hood of the hour f The mask of Peace. What is the greatest lie of the day f A. Philadelphia Despatch. What is a Tax-gatherer f An unwelcome visitor. 26 THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. What is the principal effect produced ly inter nal taxation f Raising the spirits. What is the Naturalization Office ? A hothouse in which Democratic voters are con veniently raised. Why are Copperheads jubilant over Confederate victories ? Because they are like angels visits, few and far between. How is it that the Confederate yoke is distaste- ful to some people ? Because it is found in a very bad egg. What are you chiefly taught ly this Catechism ? I am chiefly taught by this Catechism to perpet ually praise George B. McClellan, and to eternally hate the nigger ; To faithfully follow in the Copper head faith, and to oppose with pertinacity all those who hold contrary political opinions ; To be ever alive to my own interests, and to know nothing about war for the Union ; To be a firm adherent to the doctrine of State Rights, and to every other doctrine which may give cause of annoyance to the Administration ; These, and sundry other points of belief I am taught firmly to hold ; and in testimo ny of my faith and assurance to be heard as a sound Copperhead, I say, AMEN. THE ADMONITIONS OF FERNANDO THE GOTHAMITE, HIGH PKIEST OF THE ORDER OF COPPERHEADS. Hearken thou, my Boy, unto these mine admoni tions. My voice shall be to thee like unto the cooing of the gentle dove ; Tea, like unto the dove that bore the olive branch, the emblem of Peace, unto the ark, and then turned its back upon those who fondled it during the time that the tempest devastated the land. My Boy, if Abolitionists seek to entice thee, turn thou a deaf ear unto them ; plant thy thumb upon thy nose, and extend thy fingers as in the act of derision. If they ask thee to join their ranks and to be smear thy pure hands with the blood of the inno cent without cause ; If they would have thee to swallow them up alive as thou swallowest an oyster or a clam : If they tell thee that thou shalt be rewarded with houses and with lands ; that thou shalt find for thy self watches of gold and spoons of silver ; and that thou shalt have a he-negro for thy serving man and a she-negro for thy handmaiden ; 28 ADMONITIONS OF FERNANDO THE GOTHAMITE. My Boy, although thine ears were as long as the ears of an ass, turn them away, and with a voice as loud as the bray thereof, tell them that thou wilt not follow in their footsteps : For their feet tread in unconstitutional paths, and their hands make haste to shed blood. Surely they would entangle thee in the net which they would spread before thee. They would use thy hands like the paws of the cat, wherewith to pluck from the burning fire the chesnuts which they seek to devour. The Apostles of Peace have cried aloud, they have put forth their propositions in the Halls of Congress, they have propounded their pacific plans in the highways and in the byways, and in all the public places, saying, A great and powerful people should be magnani mous, and wherewithal so charitable, that when with their mighty power they have crushed the head of the serpent, they should clothe themselves with the attributes of the Samaritan, and fondle the wounded reptile in their bosom ; Surely it is not beneath their dignity, nor incon sistent with their safety, that they should abstain from imposing any degrading or destructive conditions upon any vampire that may have sought to suck their very life blood : Therefore any war which may be waged against such creatures must be " bloody, destructive, and inhuman." Thus have the Apostles of Peace cried aloud, and ADMONITIONS OF FERNANDO THE GOTHAMITE. 29 the people refused to hear them ; they stretched forth the right hand of fellowship and no man re garded them, Even my counsel, the counsel of Fernando the Gothamite, have they set at naught, and have turned a deaf ear to my reproofs ; They bark at me as the honnd barketh at the fox ; yea, and they say that I am as sly as a fox, and moreover as cunning. But, my Boy, heed thou not the animadversions of my adversaries, for I will mock them with a deri sive laugh ; and as the fox pursueth the goose to destruction, so will I in like manner pursue them. Hearken thou unto the instruction of one who would be unto thee as a father ; yea, as a father who would chastise thee with the rod if thou stray- est from the path which he has marked out for thee, for he will direct thee in the path which lead- eth on to plenty ; "With the sharpness of a sickle, and with the crookedness thereof, shalt thou reap a harvest of wealth ; thou shalt garner up a pile of riches that shall be more lasting than greenbacks. Thou who art of tough metal shall spurn with in dignation that which the deluded ones term " legal tender." Brass is more durable than paper, therefore shalt thou seek brass and find it ; It shall enter into thyj composition ; thy heart shall be even as a heart of brass, and thy face shall { shine refulgent with a brazen smile. I speak to thee in the language of Peace, and 30 ADMONITIONS OF FERNANDO THE GOTHAMITE. should any one tell tliee that there can be no Peace, thou shalt argue him with thy clenched fist, and with the force of thy argument thou shalt prove to him that he lies. I speak to thee in a language so plain that thou canst easily understand it ; so be thou equally plain in thine arguments, taking care that, like unto the arrow of the archer, they go straight to the mark. Receive my instructions as thou wouldst those of an oracle, and when I open my mouth no impertin ent cur shall rend the air with his discordant bark. Mighty is the power which I wield : by me are Judges appointed, and at the movement of my lips are they displaced ; Place-hunters approach me with fear and tremb ling, they scan the lines of my countenance with awe, and they become jubilant at the twinkle of mine eye ; I fill the pleasant places with those that follow me, and with an icy smile I turn away those who refuse to be subservient to my will. Wealth and position are the rewards which I oifei unto the faithful, and the fruit of my favors shall burst forth with wine more sparkling than Catawba, more powerful than the lightning of Jersey. He who partaketh of my spirit shall be so strong, verily so strong that though ho runneth forty rods, he shall fall not. , See therefore that tlion obeyest my instructions, for they are the instructions of Fernando the Goth- amite, High Priest of the Order of Copperheads. 14 DAY USE RETURN TO DESK FROM WHICH BORROW! LOAN DEPT. This book is due on the last date stamped below, or on the date to which renewed. Renewed books are subject to immediate recall. H ICLF (M) \ im 140(- 8 54 "" " JuN 1 7 1968 lOtt APR ,D 21-100m-G LD 21A-45m-9, 67 General Library University of California 20193