IC-NI 
 
HEALTH & 
 WEAL T H 
 
 BY ELBERT HUBBARD OF EAST AURORA 
 
 Wherein is pleasingly told how to be happy 
 but not too happy and yet be rich ; containing 
 thoughts, always sincere and sometimes serious, 
 concerning the best methods of preventing one 
 from becoming a burden to himself, a weari 
 ness to his friends, a trial to his neighbors and 
 a reflection on his Maker ^ & & & & & jfi 
 
 Done into a Book by THE ROYCROFTERS 
 and sold by them at their Shop, which 
 also is in East Aurora, N. Y. , mcmviii 
 
Copyright 
 
 1908 
 By Elbert Hubbard 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be 
 true; I am not bound to succeed, but I am 
 bound to live up to what light I have jfc 
 
 ABRAHAM LINCOLN 
 
 Ring out a slowly dying cause, 
 And ancient forms of party strife; 
 Ring in the nobler modes of life, 
 
 With sweeter manners, purer laws. 
 
 Ring in the valiant man and free, 
 The larger heart, the kindlier hand; 
 Ring out the darkness of the land, 
 
 Ring in the Christ that is to be. 
 
 TENNYSON 
 
 M519859 
 
MAN is NOT YET CREATED HE is ONLY 
 IN PROCESS 
 
 INVOCATION 
 
 MY heart goes out to you, O Man, 
 because I cannot conceive of any 
 being greater, nobler, more heroic, 
 more tenderly loving, loyal, unselfish and endur 
 ing than are you. 
 
 All the love I know is Man s love. All the for 
 giveness I know is Man s forgiveness. All the 
 sympathy I know is Man s sympathy. Hence 
 I address myself to Man to you and you 
 I would serve. 
 
 The fact that you are a human being brings 
 you near to me. It is the bond that unites us. 
 I understand you because you are a part of 
 myself. You may like me or not it makes no 
 difference if ever you need my help, I am 
 with you. Often we can help each other most by 
 leaving each other alone ; at other times we need 
 the hand-grasp and the word of cheer. I am only 
 a man a mere man but in times of loneliness, 
 think of me as one who loves his kind. What 
 your condition is in life will not prejudice me, 
 either for or against you. What you have done 
 or not done will not weigh in the scale. 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 If you have been wise and prudent, I congratu 
 late you, unless you are unable to forget how 
 wise and good you are, then I pity you. If you 
 have stumbled, fallen and been mired in the 
 mud, and have failed to be a friend to yourself, 
 then you of all men need friendship and I am 
 your friend. I am the friend of convicts, insane 
 people and fools successful and unsuccessful, 
 college-bred and illiterate. 
 You all belong to my church. 
 I could not exclude you if I would jfc But if I 
 should shut you out, I would then close the door 
 upon myself and be a prisoner, indeed. 
 The Spirit of Love that flows through me and 
 of which 1 am a part, is your portion, too. The 
 race is one and we trace to a common Divine 
 Ancestry jt ^t 
 
 I offer you no reward for being loyal to me, and 
 surely I do not threaten you with pain, penalty 
 and dire ill fortune if you are indifferent to me. 
 If You cannot win me by praise or adulation, 
 ^f You cannot shut my heart against you, even 
 though you deny and revile me. 
 Only the good can reach me, and no thought of 
 love you send me can be lost or missent. 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 All the kindness you feel for me should be given 
 to those nearest you, and it shall all be passed 
 to your credit, for you yourself are the record 
 of your thoughts, and no error can occur in the 
 count. 
 
 You belong to my church, and always and for 
 ever my friendship shall follow you, yet never 
 intrude jt Js, 
 
 I do not ask you to incur obligations or make 
 promises. There are no dues. I do not demand 
 that you shall do this and not do that. I issue no 
 commands. 
 
 I cannot lighten your burden and perhaps I 
 should not, even if I could, for men grow 
 strong thru bearing burdens. If I can, I will 
 show you how to acquire strength to meet all 
 your difficulties, and face the duties of the day. 
 If It is not for me to take charge of your life, for 
 surely I do well if I look after one person & If 
 you err, it is not for me to punish you. We are 
 punished by our sins, not for them. 
 Soon or late I know you will see that to do right 
 brings Good, and to do wrong brings misery, 
 but you will abide by the Law and all good 
 things will be yours. I cannot change these laws 
 
 ii 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 I cannot make you exempt from your own 
 blunders and mistakes. 
 
 And you cannot change the Eternal Laws for 
 me, even though you die for me. 
 But perhaps I can point you the pathway that 
 leads to Love, Truth and Usefulness, and this 
 I want to do, because I am your friend & And 
 then by pointing you the way I find it myself. 
 You belong to me you are a member of my 
 church all are members of my church, none 
 are excluded or can be excluded. So over the 
 plains and prairies, over the mountains and 
 seas, over the cities and towns, in palaces, 
 tenements, moving- wagons, dugouts, cottages, 
 hovels, sleeping-cars, day-coach, caboose, cab, 
 in solitary cells behind prison bars, or wander 
 ing out under the stars, my heart goes out to 
 you, whoever you are, and I wish you well ^ 
 Only love do I send, and a desire to bless and 
 benefit. AMEN. 
 
 12 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 To PLOW is TO PRAY 
 
 A Prayer 
 
 THE supreme prayer of my heart is not 
 to be learned, rich, famous, powerful, 
 or "good," but simply to be radiant ^fc 
 I desire to radiate health, cheerfulness, calm 
 courage and good will, ^f I wish to live without 
 hate, whim, jealousy, envy, fear. I wish to be 
 simple, honest, frank, natural, clean in mind 
 and clean in body, unaffected to say "I do not 
 know," if it be so, and to meet all men on an 
 absolute equality to face any obstacle and 
 meet every difficulty unabashed and unafraid. 
 If I wish others to live their lives, too up to their 
 highest, fullest and best. To that end I pray that 
 I may never meddle, interfere, dictate, give 
 advice that is not wanted, or assist when my 
 services are not needed. If I can help people, 
 I 11 do it by giving them a chance to help them 
 selves ; and if I can uplift or inspire, let it be by 
 example, inference and suggestion, rather than 
 by injunction and dictation. That is to say, 
 
 I DESIRE TO BE RADIANT TO RADIATE LIFE. 
 
 13 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 MUTUALITY, RECIPROCITY, CO-OPERATION 
 
 Declaration 
 
 I HOLD these truths to be self-evident: 
 That man was made to be happy; 
 That happiness is only attainable through 
 useful effort; 
 
 That the best way to help ourselves is to help 
 others; 
 
 That useful effort means the proper exercise of 
 all our faculties ; 
 
 That we grow only through this exercise; 
 That education should continue through life, 
 and the joys of mental endeavor should be, 
 especially, the solace of the old; 
 That where men alternate work, study and play 
 in right proportion, the brain is the last organ of 
 the body to fail. Death for such has no terrors ; 
 That the possession of wealth can never make a 
 man exempt from useful, manual labor; 
 That if all would work a little, none would be 
 overworked; 
 
 That if no one wasted, all would have enough; 
 Tf That if none were overfed, none would be 
 
 underfed ; 
 14 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 That the rich and "educated" need education 
 quite as much as the poor and illiterate; 
 That the presence of a serving class is an indict 
 ment and a disgrace to our civilization; 
 That the disadvantage of having a serving 
 class falls most upon those who are served, and 
 not upon those who serve just as the real curse 
 of slavery falls upon the slave-owner; 
 That the presence of a serving class tends toward 
 dissolution instead of co-operation; 
 That the people who are waited on by a serving 
 class cannot have a just consideration for the 
 rights of others, and that they waste both time 
 and substance, both of which are lost forever, 
 and can only partially be made good by addi 
 tional human effort; 
 
 That the person who lives on the labor of others, 
 not giving himself in return to the best of his 
 ability, is really a consumer of human life; 
 That the best way to abolish a serving class is 
 for all to join it; 
 
 That in useful service there is no high nor low ; 
 That all duties, offices and things which are use 
 ful and necessary are sacred, and that nothing 
 
 else is or can be. 
 
 is 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 HEALTH Is THE MOST NATURAL THING IN 
 THE WORLD 
 
 Health and Habit 
 
 IF you have health, you probably will be 
 happy; and if you have health and happi 
 ness, you will have all the wealth you need, 
 even if not all you want. 
 
 Health is the most natural thing in the world. 
 It is natural to be healthy because we are a part 
 of Nature we are Nature. Nature is try ing hard 
 to keep us well, because she needs us in her 
 business. 
 
 Nature needs man so he will be useful to other 
 men ^t & 
 
 The rewards of life are for service. 
 And the penalties of life are for selfishness. 
 If Human service is the highest form of self- 
 interest for the person who serves. 
 We preserve our sanity only as we forget self in 
 service. 
 
 To center on one s self, and forget our relation 
 ship to society is to summon misery, and misery 
 means disease. 
 
 16 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 Unhappiness is an irritant. It affects the heart 
 beats or circulation first; then the digestion, and 
 the person is ripe for two hundred and nineteen 
 diseases, and six hundred and forty-two com 
 plications Jk ejt 
 
 Nothing you can take out of a bottle or that you 
 can rub on, will remove the cause of misery. 
 "Medicine is only palliative," says Dr. Weir 
 Mitchell, "for back of disease lies the cause, 
 and this cause no drug can reach. " 
 "I ve got a cold in my head," said the man to 
 the wise doctor. 
 
 And the doctor replied, "Doubtless, for that is 
 the only place where the microbe abides. " 
 People who dread disease and fear disease have 
 disease > <> 
 
 The recipe for good health is this: Forget it. 
 If What we call diseases are merely symptoms 
 of mental conditions. 
 
 Our bodies are automatic, and thinking about 
 your digestion does not aid you ^t Rather it 
 hinders, since the process of thinking, especially 
 anxious thinking, robs the stomach of its blood, 
 and transfers it to the head. 
 
 If you are worried enough, digestion will stop 
 
 17 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 absolutely, ^f The moral is obvious : Don t Worry. 
 "This horse is all right, unless he gets scared," 
 said a horseback rider to me, the other day. 
 And I answered, "So am I!" 
 In public speaking I have often noticed that 
 when I am anxious to make a big speech, I 
 grow fearful about my voice, and begin to dis 
 trust my memory. The result is that I have to 
 push that speech ahead of me for the whole 
 blessed hour and a half, and am conscious of 
 my feet and aware of my hands all the time jt 
 The result is a strictly Class B oratorical effort. 
 If That is to say, it was an effort and not a pleas 
 ure for either the speaker or the audience. For 
 a speaker supplies the mood for the audience. 
 If the speaker is happy, the audience is, also. 
 And as before hinted, we are only happy when 
 we forget ourselves and do not know whether 
 we are happy or not. 
 
 Those rare times when I make a big impression 
 upon my auditors are when I go upon the stage 
 with a certain amount of indifference, simply 
 taking care not to have over-eaten. Then I start 
 in slowly, and soon the thoughts are coming 
 along, just as fast as I can use them. The air is 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 full of reasons, and all I have to do is to reach 
 
 up and pick the ones I want. 
 
 With good health it is the same just a few 
 
 plain rules, and the whole matter is automatic 
 
 and self-lubricating. Health is a habit. 
 
 We are ruled by habit. 
 
 There are three habits which, with but one 
 
 condition added, will give you everything in the 
 
 world worth having, and beyond which the 
 
 imagination of man cannot conjure forth a single 
 
 addition or improvement. These habits are: 
 
 THE WORK HABIT. 
 THE HEALTH HABIT. 
 
 THE STUDY HABIT. 
 
 If you are a man and have these habits, and 
 also have the love of a woman who has these 
 same habits, you are in Paradise now and here, 
 and so is she. 
 
 Health, Books and Work, with Love added, are 
 a solace for all the stings and arrows of outra 
 geous fortune a defense gainst all the storms 
 that blow, for through their use you transmute 
 sadness into mirth, trouble into ballast, pain 
 into joy. 
 
 Do you say that religion is still needed ? 
 
 19 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 Then I answer that Work, Study, Health and 
 
 Love constitute religion. Moreover, any religion 
 
 that leaves out any one of these four ingredients 
 
 is not religion, but fetich. 
 
 And yet most formal religions have pronounced 
 
 the love of man for woman and woman for man 
 
 an evil thing. 
 
 They have proclaimed labor a curse. 
 
 They have said that sickness was sent from God ; 
 
 and they have whipped and scorned the human 
 
 body as something despicable, and thus have 
 
 placed a handicap on health, and made the 
 
 doctor a necessity. 
 
 And they have said that mental attainment was 
 
 a vain and frivolous thing, and that our reason 
 
 was a lure to lead us on to the eternal loss of 
 
 our soul s salvation. 
 
 Now, we deny it all, and again proclaim that 
 
 these will bring you all the good there is 
 
 Health, Work, Study Love! 
 
 Work means safety for yourself and service to 
 
 mankind. Health means much happiness and 
 
 potential power jt Study means knowledge, 
 
 equanimity and the evolving mind. Love means 
 
 all the rest! 
 20 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 But Love must be a matter of reciprocity, not a 
 one-sided affair. "I love you because you love 
 the things that I love. " 
 
 A man who marries a woman in order to 
 educate her, falls a victim to the same fallacy 
 that the woman does who marries a man expect 
 ing to reform him. 
 
 If you marry a woman who is not on your mental 
 wire, you ll either go down to her level or you 
 will live in a water-tight compartment and go 
 to purgatory through mental asphyxiation. 
 Choose this day the habits you would have 
 rule over you. 
 
 To KNOW ALL Is To FORGIVE ALL 
 
 The Things We Know 
 
 IN courts of law the phrase "I believe" has 
 no standing. Never a witness gives testi 
 mony but that he is cautioned thus, "Tell 
 us what you know, not what you believe." 
 If In theology, belief has always been regarded 
 as more important than that which your senses 
 say is so. 
 Almost without exception "belief" is a legacy, 
 
 21 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 an importation something borrowed, an echo, 
 and often an echo of an echo. 
 The Creed of the Future will begin, "I know," 
 not "I believe." And this creed will not be 
 forced upon the people. It will carry with it 
 no coercion, no blackmail, no promise of an 
 eternal life of idleness and ease if you accept 
 it, and no threat of hell if you don t. It will 
 have no paid, professional priesthood, claiming 
 honors, rebates and exemptions, nor will it hold 
 estates free from taxation. It will not organ 
 ize itself into a system, marry itself to the State, 
 and call on the police for support. It will be 
 reasonable, so in the line of self-preservation 
 that no sane man or woman will reject it, and 
 when we really begin to live it we will cease to 
 talk about it. 
 
 As a suggestion and first rough draft, I submit 
 this I KNOW: 
 That I am here 
 
 In a world where nothing is permanent but 
 change, 
 
 And that in degree I, myself, can change the 
 form of things 
 And influence a few people; 
 
 22 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 And that I am influenced by these and other 
 people; 
 
 That I am influenced by the example and by 
 the work of men who are no longer alive, 
 And that the work I now do will in degree influ 
 ence people who may live after my life has 
 changed into other forms; 
 That a certain attitude of mind and habit of 
 action on my part will add to the peace, happi 
 ness and well-being of other people, 
 And that a different thought and action on my 
 part will bring pain and discord to others; 
 That if I would secure reasonable happiness for 
 myself, I must give out good- will to others; 
 That to better my own condition I must prac 
 tice mutuality; 
 
 That bodily health is necessary to continued 
 and effective work; 
 That I am largely ruled by habit; 
 That habit is a form of exercise; 
 That up to a certain point, exercise means 
 increased strength or ease in effort; 
 That all life is the expression of spirit; 
 That my spirit influences my body, 
 
 And my body influences my spirit; 
 
 23 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 That the universe to me is very beautiful, and 
 
 everything and everybody in it good and beau 
 
 tiful, when my body and my spirit are in 
 
 harmonious mood; 
 
 That my thoughts are hopeful and helpful 
 
 unless I am filled with fear, 
 
 And that to eliminate fear my life must be dedi 
 
 cated to useful work work in which I forget 
 
 myself; 
 
 That fresh air in abundance, and moderate, 
 
 systematic exercise in the open air are the part 
 
 of wisdom; 
 
 That I cannot afford, for my own sake, to be 
 
 resentful nor quick to take offense; 
 
 That happiness is a great power for good, 
 
 And that happiness is not possible without 
 
 moderation and equanimity ; 
 
 That time turns all discords into harmony if 
 
 men will but be kind and patient, 
 
 And that the reward which life holds out for 
 
 work is not idleness nor rest, nor immunity 
 
 from work, but increased capacity, GREATER 
 
 DIFFICULTIES, MORE WORK. 
 
 24 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 GOSSIPS LIE LIKE EPITAPHS 
 
 The Gossip Microbe 
 
 THE person who plays pitch-and-toss 
 with your good name is not necessarily 
 your enemy. 
 
 Probably if you go to him quietly and ask 
 a favor, he will be glad to grant it, and will 
 consider it an honor to exert himself in your 
 behalf. His unkind remarks are the result of the 
 Gossip-Habit. He talks to hear himself talk- 
 nothing is quite so pleasing to his ears as the 
 sound of his own bazoo. To have others listen 
 to his vaporings is gratifying to his vanity. 
 He dissects the life and belittles the motives of 
 anybody and everybody who are not present. 
 Should the person reviled suddenly appear 
 upon the scene, the theme quickly changes, and 
 the newcomer is treated with kindly deference, 
 and is regaled by hearing the character of some 
 one else ripped up into carpet-rags. 
 The Gossip Microbe is born of vacuity, and 
 breeds best in idle minds. 
 If you do not hear what the scandalmonger 
 
 says, you are not harmed. As for those who hear 
 
 25 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 him, they are not influenced against you by what 
 he says, and for the most part his words die on 
 the empty air. 
 
 He injures no one but himself. 
 However, the person who comes and tells you 
 what the loquacious one says about you, is a 
 positive pest. His action is unforgivable and 
 unpardonable. He robs you of your peace oi 
 mind. The idle charges when told over again 
 take on a different color and become realities. 
 So to repeat: The individual who rails on me 
 behind my back is very seldom my enemy; the 
 person who comes to me and tells me what he 
 says, is. 
 
 The first I 11 pardon, the latter forever is tabu- 
 let his name be anathema. He is one who magni 
 fies idle nothings and vacuous vaporings until 
 they become noxious gases. 
 The man who talks gossip is a fool ; but the one 
 who repeats it is a rogue. Your friends are those 
 who tell you the kind things that are said oi 
 you; your enemies are those who, in the hoh 
 name of friendship, come to you and poison 
 your atmosphere by the other thing. 
 
 That plan of the king in the olden time whc 
 26 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 killed the messenger that brought him bad 
 news, has my approval. Blessed are the feet 
 of those who bring GLAD TIDINGS 
 
 IT Is A GREAT THING TO BE A MAN 
 
 Vance of Edmonton 
 
 AT Winnipeg a man came down from 
 Edmonton to attend my lecture ^t 
 Edmonton is eight hundred miles 
 from Winnipeg. It takes two days and a night 
 to come, and the same to go back. 
 The man s name is Vance. He said he did n t 
 want to miss the chance when I was so close. 
 He was an Irishman. "Doubtless," I hear the 
 merry chorus chime, "the Irish are such a fond, 
 foolish and impulsive people!" 
 Vance arrived the day before the lecture so to 
 make sure to secure a ticket and get accommo 
 dations at the hotel. 
 
 He had no trouble in getting his ticket, and was 
 accommodated all right at the hotel. 
 An hour before the lecture was set to begin, 
 Vance was there holding down a front seat ^t 
 
 The church seats twelve hundred only eight 
 
 27 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 hundred were at the lecture. If Many people in 
 Winnipeg did not go. 
 
 Vance was amazed at sight of empty pews. He 
 thought it stood for Winnipeg empty heads. I 
 tried to tell him that Winnipeg people in point 
 of intelligence were far above the average that 
 people interested in advanced thought were 
 very few and that if one s virtue consisted in 
 outstripping popularity, it was quite absurd to 
 expect to be popular. 
 He could not quite see it. 
 
 Vance came eight hundred miles to see me, and 
 some day I 11 go eight hundred miles to see him. 
 But no matter how far Vance travels, he 11 never 
 find a man any finer than he sees when he looks 
 into a mirror. 
 
 He is a type that is peculiar, unique, strange, 
 but well defined an honest, simple and direct 
 man. Vance is six feet tall and weighs over two 
 hundred pounds jfc All of his forty odd and 
 strange years have been spent in lumber camps, 
 rafting on rivers, on the plains, far from so-called 
 centers of civilization. All the seamy side of life 
 to him is familiar, yet his soul has never been 
 
 seared with pitch. He is so truthful, unaffected 
 28 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 and sincere, that he commands the earnest 
 respect of every one he meets. It never occurs 
 to him to lie. 
 
 The size of the man may help a little, not to 
 mention his big, homely Irish mug. 
 Vance has had time to read and time to think. 
 Not only has he read books, but he has com 
 mitted them to memory. Give him the first line 
 of any of Byron s poems, and if you don t look 
 out, he will give you the rest. He knows his 
 Shakespeare ; has read Browning enough to dis 
 like him; dotes on Reedy; loves Tom Moore; 
 revels in Stevenson; takes a shy at Burton; 
 reverences the Mosher books. He talks to you 
 solemnly of the "Big Five" Darwin, Huxley, 
 Tyndall, Spencer and Alfred Russel Wallace. 
 "Travels in Malay " by Wallace is to him a text 
 book. Ingersoll he regards as a trifle flippant 
 he has lived so much within himself he does not 
 joke. Thomas Paine he admires, as he does 
 Hume, Buckle, Haeckel and Lecky. 
 When Vance talks it is in a slow, measured 
 monotone. He weighs his words; speaks with 
 precision, but with great courtesy and defer 
 ence. He is a good listener, yet when you take his 
 
 29 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 measure, you prefer to hear him. ^f With Vance 
 was a Scotchman, by the name of MacDonald, 
 (of course), well turned seventy, who had spent 
 thirty years as agent for the Hudson Bay Com 
 pany in the North. 
 
 These men had met on a literary basis they 
 both loved Robert Louis and read Little Jour 
 neys. Each had worked out in his own mind a 
 clear-cut scheme of philosophy, a well-defined 
 idea of right and wrong. 
 
 The thirty years with the aborigines had not 
 deprived MacDonald of his burr, which was as 
 ripe and choice a specimen as you can hear in 
 Glasgow. But he, too, had grown silent by 
 nature, and had taken on a good deal of the 
 Indian reserve. Between many lightings of his 
 pipe and long pauses MacDonald told us this 
 story, as we sat in my room after the lecture. I 
 have too much respect for Vance s old friend to 
 try to imitate his dialect. That is his own. But 
 this is the story. Said fche old man after a long, 
 thoughtful pause: No, Indians are not bad 
 people if you treat them about half right. They 
 may be savages, but they are not as savage as 
 
 white men. I never had a gun argument with an 
 30 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 Indian. He is a child by nature, and responds to 
 kindness. It pays to tell the truth to children, 
 and I may be wrong, but I believe in keeping 
 faith with Indians. This was always my policy, 
 and Indians for hundreds of miles around were 
 my friends. They even told me their troubles, 
 which is an unusual thing for an Indian to do. 
 Tf The last few winters have been very severe, and 
 my Indian friends have suffered greatly. Two 
 squaws came into the Post last spring, just when 
 the leaves had begun to come out. One had a 
 papoose on her back, and with her was an eight- 
 year-old girl. I remembered the year before 
 when she came, her husband was with her, also 
 a grown-up boy and several children beside jt 
 The squaws sat around all day and said noth- 
 ing.I guessed they wanted to tell me something. 
 At night they disappeared, but in the morning 
 they came back and told me a tale of hardship 
 that really melted my stony heart, used as I am 
 to suffering. 
 
 Winter had set in early and the snows fell. This 
 woman, with the grown-up boy who had just 
 killed his first deer and therefore was a man, 
 
 had laid in quite a stock of frozen rabbits, but 
 
 31 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 a wandering band of trappers coming along 
 and needing food, she had given them all the 
 rabbits. She was sure that her husband and 
 boy could get more. 
 
 But the snows kept falling, and the winds blew 
 and drifted the snow so that it was unsafe to 
 leave the teepee. They had eaten the dogs, all 
 save one old favorite. 
 
 The food was all gone, and after waiting two 
 days the man and boy started forth to hunt ^t 
 Not a track could be found, for the snow was 
 falling and drifting beside. 
 They did not return, and during the night the 
 dog came back alone. The mother left the chil 
 dren and went forth following the dog to find 
 her husband and boy. They had been famished 
 for food and were overcome by the cold before 
 they had gone a mile. The boy was dead, but 
 the man was still alive. The woman carried and 
 dragged him home. 
 
 Something must be done she placed the man 
 upon a toboggan, strapped the five-year-old 
 child on top of him, and carrying the papoose 
 on her back, and with the eight-year-old girl 
 helping to pull the toboggan, she started for 
 32 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 her nearest neighbor s, ten miles away. All day 
 she moved steadily forward. She arrived and 
 entered the teepee of her friend. One glance 
 told all her neighbor was in even greater dis 
 tress than herself, for all of her household were 
 dead and the woman was alone, just ready to 
 let the fire go out and lie down and sleep the 
 long sleep. The woman who had just arrived 
 killed the dog, and this kept them alive for a 
 few days. But the man and the five-year-old 
 child died, and the women, the papoose and 
 the eight-year-old girl were alone. The snow 
 ceased to fall, and they caught rabbits and ate 
 bark for food. 
 
 At last spring arrived, and when the ice melted 
 they came to the Post to tell me of their loss. 
 There were no tears just a plain recital of the 
 facts. They wanted nothing, only that I should 
 know. They did not even wish me to condole 
 with them, for after telling me their tale, they 
 disappeared in the forest and I sat there, dumb. 
 
 33 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 IN ORDER TO HAVE FRIENDS, You MUST 
 BE ABLE TO Do WITHOUT THEM. 
 
 On Secret Societies 
 
 MYSTERY and miracle were born in 
 Egypt. It was there that a system was 
 evolved, backed up by the ruler, of 
 religious fraud so colossal that modern decep 
 tion looks like the bungling efforts of an amateur. 
 The government, the army, the taxing power 
 of the State were sworn to protect gigantic safes 
 in which were hoarded nothing. That is to say, 
 nothing but the pretense, upon which cupidity 
 and self -hypnotized credulity battened and 
 fattened and borrowed money. 
 All institutions which thru mummery, strange 
 acts, dress and ritual, affect to know and impart 
 the inmost secrets of creation and ultimate des 
 tiny, had their rise in Egypt. In Egypt now are 
 only graves, tombs, necropoles and silence. The 
 priests there need no soldiery to keep their 
 secrets safe. Ammon-Ra, who once ruled the 
 universe, being finally exorcised by the sign of 
 the cross, is now as dead as the mummies who 
 once were men and upheld his undisputed sway. 
 
 34 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 If The Egyptians guarded their mysteries with 
 jealous dread. We know their secret now. It is 
 this : there are no mysteries. 
 That is the only secret upon which any secret 
 society holds a caveat ^ Wisdom cannot be 
 corralled in gibberish and fettered in jargon. 
 Knowledge is one thing, palaver another. The 
 Greek-letter societies of our callow days still 
 survive in bird s-eye, and next to these come the 
 Elks who take theirs with seltzer and a smile, 
 as a rare good joke, save that brotherhood and 
 good fellowship are actually a saving salt. 
 Greek-letter societies are the rudimentary sur 
 vivals of what was once an integral part of every 
 college. Making dead languages optional was 
 the last convulsive kick of the cadaver. All this 
 mystery and mysticism were once official, and 
 later on being discarded by the authorities, were 
 continued by the students as a kind of prank. 
 If And now a good many colleges are placing 
 the seal of their disapproval on secret societies 
 among the students; and the day is near when 
 the secret society will not be tolerated, either 
 directly or indirectly, as a part of the education 
 of youth. All this because tke sophomoric mind 
 
 35 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 is prone to take its Greek-letter mysteries seri 
 ously and regard the college curriculum as a 
 joke of the faculty. 
 
 If knowledge were to be gained by riding a goat, 
 any petty cross-roads, with its lodge-room over 
 the grocery, would contain a Herbert Spencer; 
 the agrarian mossbacks would have wisdom by 
 the scruff and detain knowledge with a tail-told. 
 If There can be no secrets in life and morals, 
 because Nature has provided that every beauti 
 ful thought you know and every precious senti 
 ment you feel shall shine out of your face so that 
 all who are great enough may see, know, under 
 stand, appreciate and appropriate. You keep 
 things only by giving them away. 
 
 Fix NOT YOUR FAITH ON AN ABSENTEE GOD 
 
 Canned Philosophy 
 
 ^"" ""THEOLOGY is canned philosophy. It is 
 supplied to the individual with the best 
 JL success at adolescence, when glimmer 
 ing intellect is in doubt; when an explanation 
 of physical phenomena is demanded; when 
 
 nerves are vibrating, and the person being in a 
 36 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 transition period, craves protection, ^f At this 
 time, mysticism coupled with the religious rite 
 of "confirmation" meets with a glad response 
 from the vascillating, restless, feverish, uncertain 
 condition of the novitiate. 
 Centuries of pious priestcraft have reduced the 
 scheme to a science. 
 
 Formalized religions with their bells, responses, 
 swinging censers, robes, processions, genuflec 
 tions, and strange sights, sounds and smells, 
 are well calculated to stampede reason and 
 make cowards of us all. 
 
 These things were first worked out in the ado 
 lescence of the race, long before any definite 
 knowledge of the actual world was considered 
 either possible or desirable. Hence the warfare 
 of religion with science. Science sets free, formal 
 religion fetters. 
 
 A reasonable amount of superstition, to para 
 phrase our old friend David Harum, is desirable 
 at a certain time in our evolution. The fairies fit 
 the child-mind. They arouse imagination, and 
 surely this animation is better than deadness, 
 inertia and dumb indifference. So superstition 
 has its use. Its danger lies in crystallizing it into 
 
 37 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 a dogma and teaching it as truth to grown-ups, 
 forcing it upon humanity with injunction, threat 
 and coercion. 
 
 Up to the time of Thomas Jefferson, religion and 
 government were one, and even now, altho they 
 are not legally wedded, they continue to have 
 "relations." No candidate for the presidency 
 dares express his honest belief. The church still 
 uses the government to force canned philosophy 
 upon us. 
 
 And yet I believe that most priests and preach 
 ers are honest men who think they are really 
 serving humanity. When we get our living out 
 of a thing, self-interest prompts us to defend 
 it, and we believe that which is to our own inter 
 est to believe. 
 
 Jesus was a rebel against a formal, ossified 
 religion. He had nothing to do with organiz 
 ing a religious trust. The "Christian" religion 
 had its rise in Egypt, Assyria and Chaldea ^t 
 The customs and costumes of Babylon and 
 Nineveh have come down to us, and are still per 
 petuated without a single patentable improve 
 ment. Jesus was dead and not able to defend His 
 
 good name ; and so His gentle philosophy of com- 
 38 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 bined protest and affirmation was seized and 
 worked up into the prevailing pagan hash of 
 superstition. 
 
 Now and then a so-called liberal arises and 
 announces that he has discovered a formalde 
 hyde that will disinfect, sweeten and freshen 
 the mass, and he, too, is probably honest. His 
 future, his fortune, his good name depend upon 
 the success of the thing which he upholds, and 
 so he maintains it even with his life. Martyr 
 dom does not prove a thing true, any more than 
 does success. Vice has always had a thousand 
 martyrs to Virtue s one. The heroism and per 
 sistency shown by criminals in following their 
 bent is admirable, were it not appalling. 
 Criminals have been trained by society, unknow 
 ingly, of course, to do this one thing, and so they 
 cleave and cling to it, and "die in the harness. " 
 It is so with theology. The men trained to it can 
 do nothing else, and so they clutch it and cling 
 to it, declaring it the hope of the world and 
 prophesy terrible things that will happen to 
 a godless government. And the people to whom 
 the canned philosophy has been fed, are used to 
 it, and are unable to digest anything else. Our 
 
 39 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 minds like our bodies crave the accustomed jfc 
 So long as government and church were one, 
 no thinker was safe. Treason and blasphemy 
 were net and spear, always in waiting for the 
 lives of those who failed to conform & It was 
 Jefferson who first fixed in a constitution the 
 definition that treason should not consist in 
 anything you might say or write. Treason now 
 consists in armed war upon your country, or 
 in giving aid and succor to its armed enemies ^t 
 Blasphemy now consists in speaking disrespect 
 fully of another man s conception of the Deity. 
 And this in America you have a perfect legal 
 right to do. 
 
 And so it was Jefferson and Ingersoll who killed 
 the ptomaines in theology or at least filed their 
 teeth. And now behold theology as a sawdust 
 breakfast food, made palatable to the unthink 
 ing educated and uneducated thru a dash 
 of morality and a sprinkling of sweet ethics ^t 
 Formal religion was organized for slaves; it 
 offered them consolation which earth did not 
 provide. Work for them offered no solace. To-day 
 it is different: sensible people realize that the 
 
 man who does not enjoy his work will never 
 40 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 enjoy anything. Work is our refuge and defense; 
 and art is the expression of man s joy in his 
 work jt jfc 
 
 If you have evolved to a point where you are 
 able to make your work an art, you reach the 
 sense of sublimity, or a realizing kinship with 
 the Divine. 
 
 THERE Is No DEVIL BUT FEAR! 
 
 Theology and Medicine 
 
 MARTIN LUTHER the German, 
 John Calvin the Frenchman, and 
 John Knox the Scotchman lived at 
 the same time. They constitute a trinity of 
 strong men who profoundly influenced their 
 times ; and the epoch they made was so impor 
 tant that we refer to it as "The Reformation. " 
 They form the undertow of that great tidal 
 wave of reason, the Italian Renaissance. And as 
 the chief business of the Hahnemariian School 
 of Medicine was to dilute the dose of the 
 Allopaths, and the Christian Scientists con 
 firmed the Homeopaths in a belief in the 
 beauties of the blank tablet, so did Luther, 
 
 41 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 Calvin and Knox neutralize the arrogance of 
 Rome, and dilute the dose of despotism. Ernest 
 Renan thought that Martin Luther put progress 
 back five hundred years, "by effecting a com 
 promise with the Catholic Church, supplying 
 the people something just as good, at less cost. " 
 Tf Yet the great Renan must have known that 
 fanaticism is a disease of the mind, just as 
 alcoholism is a disease of the body, and the 
 rational cure for both is the diminishing dose. 
 That is, you are weaned from one thing by the 
 substitution of something less harmful. 
 The cure by violence and revulsion, sometimes 
 works, but it is unreliable and often unsafe. 
 Tf Mankind can be released from the power of 
 weakness only by slow degrees. 
 Christian Science has eliminated the doctor, 
 reducing the rank of priest to that of reader, 
 and thrown away the bell, candle, and curse, 
 but it still finds it expedient, if not absolutely 
 necessary, to have its "Book" and "Church." 
 T And behold one great Life Insurance Com 
 pany has instructed its agents by circular thus : 
 "Christian Scientists as a class are extra good 
 
 risks and should be solicited." TfThen comes 
 42 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 Dr. Hughson Harding, the celebrated neurolo 
 gist of London, and says, "Christian Science 
 by lessening nerve-tension, and increasing the 
 self-reliance of the patient, brings about a 
 normal flow of the secretions, and thus doubt 
 less increases the average length of human life 
 in a very perceptible degree. " 
 Kenan s idea that humanity could have been 
 jumped from the hypnotic dazzle of Rome into 
 the clean, calm sunlight of reason at a bound, 
 if Luther had not interposed "with something 
 just as good, " is not reasonable. Mankind must 
 get used to the light by degrees. 
 And if Protestantism is "a compromise with 
 truth," as Diderot and so many others have 
 averred, let us just remember that life itself is 
 a compromise, and that progress is only possi 
 ble thru courteously giving the rights of the road 
 and making way for vehicles, even though you 
 do not exactly love the occupants nor admire 
 their millinery. 
 
 NATURE intended that each animal should 
 live to an age approximating five times the 
 number of years which it takes to reach its 
 
 43 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 bodily maturity. Man reaches his height and 
 maximum strength at twenty, and should there 
 fore live to be a hundred. 
 
 The brain, being the last organ developed, and 
 growing until man is past seventy, should sit 
 secure and watch every organ decline. As it is; 
 the brain, with over one-half of the individuals 
 who live to be seventy, loses its power before 
 the hands and feet, and death reaps something 
 less than a man all thru too much exercise for 
 the brain, or not enough. 
 
 Glancing once more at Dr. Harding s remark, 
 it is very evident that if the sum of human hap 
 piness can be increased, life will be much 
 extended, and the danger of dying at the top 
 obviated j& ^ 
 
 Of all the mental and physical polluters of life, 
 nothing exercises such a poisonous effect as fear. 
 lj Fear paralyzes the will, and either stagnates 
 the secretions or turns them loose in a torrent. 
 If Jealousy, cruelty, hate, revenge, are all forms 
 of fear & < 
 
 Abolish fear, and every man and woman is an 
 orator and an artist. The criminal and the 
 untruthful person are obsessed by fear until 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 the genial current of their life is turned awry. 
 A man, like a horse, is safe until he gets in the 
 fell clutch of fear. 
 
 When the Shah of Persia was asked the average 
 length of human life in his country, he replied, 
 "Some die old, some die young only God can 
 tell how long anybody will live. " 
 Luther died at sixty-three, Calvin at fifty-three 
 and John Knox at fifty-seven <> Luther and 
 Knox were in prison, and Calvin only escaped 
 by flight. All were under sentence of death; all 
 lived under the ban of fear. And all preached a 
 religion of fear. All were literally scared to death 
 and all have literally scared to death thousands 
 upon thousands of other people. 
 Now if you were asked what factor in human 
 life had contributed most to fear, would you 
 not be compelled in truth to say, theology ? 
 Theology, by diverting the attention of men 
 from this life to another, and by endeavoring to 
 coerce all men into one religion, constantly 
 preaching that this world is full of misery, 
 but the next world would be beautiful or not 
 as the case may be, has forced on men the 
 thought of fear where otherwise there might 
 
 45 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 have been the happy abandon of nature, f Next 
 to theology in point of harm, is medicine, 
 which is the study of the abnormal, and the 
 constantly iterated thought that the "family 
 physician" was a necessary adjunct to life 
 itself; which thought has bred in mankind the 
 fallacy of looking to the doctor for relief from 
 pain, instead of to ourselves. Should we not 
 understand the Laws of Life sufficiently, so to 
 be as well and as happy as birds and squirrels ? 
 The third great engine of human misery has 
 been the law. Seventy per cent of the members 
 of all our lawmaking bodies are lawyers. Very 
 naturally lawyers in making laws favor laws 
 that make lawyers a necessity. If this were not 
 so, lawyers would not be human. 
 Until very recent times, and in degree I am told 
 it is so yet, laws are for the subjection of the 
 many and the upholding of the privileges of the 
 few. The few employ a vast lobby, while all the 
 many can do is to obey, or be ground into the 
 mire. All the justice the plain people have, they 
 have had to fight for, and what we get is a sop 
 to keep us quiet. The law, for most people, is a 
 
 great mysterious malevolent engine, of wrath. 
 46 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 A legal summons will yet blanch the cheek of 
 most honest men, and an officer at the door 
 sends consternation into the family. The District 
 Attorney prosecutes us we must defend our 
 selves. "And if you have no money to hire a 
 lawyer, you are adjudged guilty and for you 
 justice is a by- word," says Luther Laflin Mills, 
 the eminent lawyer. 
 
 And here is the argument: The fear of death, 
 as taught by the clergy, the fear of disease, as 
 fostered by the doctors, and the fear of the law, 
 as disseminated by lawyers, have created a fog 
 of fear that has permeated us like a miasma, 
 and cut human life short one-third, causing 
 the brain to reel and rock at a time when it 
 should be the serene and steadfast pilot of 
 our lives. 
 
 "What then," you ask, "Shall we go back to 
 savagery?" 
 
 And my answer is, No, we must, and will, and 
 are, going on, on to Enlightenment. 
 
 47 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 THOSE WHO LIVE BY THE HAMMER SHALL 
 DIE BY THE HAMMER 
 
 The Gentle Art of Knocking 
 
 SATAN was once a man. Later he evolved 
 into a God and dwelt in Paradise. There 
 must have been a time when he was 
 worthy of trust and affection, otherwise the 
 Almighty would never have allowed him to 
 enter Heaven. 
 
 But Satan was of a peculiar disposition. He had 
 the "artistic temperament," which is to say, he 
 was moody, irritable, fault-finding, and a good 
 deal of the time idle. Instead of trying to remedy 
 the weak points of Paradise, he merely pointed 
 them out and harangued about them to all who 
 would listen. 
 
 And Satan still finds mischief for idle hands to 
 do. It was the same then Satan would neither 
 tune harps, launder the robes, nor polish the 
 pavement which was made of gold and precious 
 stones < & 
 
 It took a lot of labor and a deal of skill to set 
 these paving stones, but while the workers were 
 at it, Satan would sit on the curb and make sport 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 of them. When the Almighty came around to 
 see how things were getting along, Satan would 
 whisper unkind things about Him after He had 
 passed, and kick about how severe He was in 
 discipline jt <* 
 
 The Almighty warned Satan from time to time 
 to get busy, but his answer was, "I am!" 
 "Sure enough," replied the Almighty, "but at 
 the wrong thing. " 
 
 They tried to get Satan to lead the Choral So 
 ciety and break in the new arrivals, some of 
 whom sang slightly off-key. 
 "I teach those jays? Why they have no voice 
 they only have a disease. You should never 
 have let them in what this place needs is a 
 new gatekeeper who has nerve with him, and 
 can direct the wrong applicant where to go! 
 No, I 11 not lead your orchestra; and anyway, 
 I am drilling a little class of my own and have 
 no time: I am organizing an Anvil Chorus." 
 It was no use Satan would not do what he was 
 told. He always knew a better way, and he 
 sneered at every plan for a heavenly better 
 ment that he did not himself suggest. And he 
 suggested precious few, and these he could not 
 
 49 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 carry out. ^f There was only one thing that 
 interested him and that was the Anvil Chorus. 
 When the saints sang Hallelujahs, Satan would 
 start up his favorite instrument and pound. He 
 was n t industrious in anything but knocking. 
 If Finally he had gotten so many people believing 
 that the anvil was really sweeter than the harp, 
 that the Almighty lost patience. 
 And when it was discovered that Satan had 
 started a factory to make hammer-handles, the 
 Almighty decided to fire him bodily. 
 So the word was passed along, and the saints 
 quietly tucked their robes in their belts and 
 made a rush for Mister Satan and his band of 
 Knockers & & 
 
 It was soon over. Satan was shot out of Heaven 
 like a rubber ball from a wooden cannon. 
 Milton says he fell for two weeks. 
 When he finally reached earth he called him 
 self the D Evil, and boasted of being a prince 
 a dispossessed prince. 
 
 He would never have been so proud if the theo 
 logians had not paid him so much attention ^ 
 The preachers, while publicly warning their 
 
 flocks to shun him, were secretly hobnobbing 
 50 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 with him a good deal of the time. ^f Then the play 
 wrights and poets admired him and secretly 
 affected him, and wove him into literature, and 
 all this tended to turn his head. 
 But now the preachers, for the most part, 
 have denied him, and literature has cut his 
 acquaintance. He is no longer popular. Where 
 he is and what he does is nothing to us. 
 The Devil is a dead one. 
 MORAL: An idle god evolves into a devil. 
 
 IF ANYTHING Is SACRED, THE HUMAN BODY 
 Is SACRED. AND IN MAN OR WOMAN, A CLEAN, 
 STRONG, FIRM-FIBRED BODY Is MORE BEAUTI 
 FUL THAN THE MOST FASCINATING FACE. 
 
 In Re Muldoon 
 
 PROFESSOR WILLIAM MULDOON 
 Muldoon the Solid Man! Muldoon 
 the champion wrestler of the world! 
 I have taken a few falls out of him in days 
 agone in a literary way and what I will now 
 say, I will say. 
 
 Muldoon has been pronounced by competent 
 judges a perfect physical specimen of manhood. 
 
 51 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 Not one man in a million can compare with him; 
 and age, intelligence and physique considered, 
 he probably is without a rival on earth. 
 He is exactly five feet ten, and weighs stripped, 
 one hundred and eighty. He gives you a glimpse 
 of Greece in the time of Pericles. 
 He has more dignity, more repose, more poise, 
 than any man has expressed since Phidias 
 modeled and Praxiteles carved. 
 He talks but little: he listens until the other 
 man has talked himself out his is a waiting 
 game jt & 
 
 Knowing something of the traditions of the 
 squared circle, you expect he will speak in a 
 husky gutteral, and say, "I trun him down 
 see!" 
 
 But this man surprises you with a light, musi 
 cal, exquisitely modulated voice that comes 
 from resonant air chambers, and a throat with 
 out a flaw. 
 
 It is a voice whose whispered word can fill a 
 room; a voice that can ring out a calvary com 
 mand that can be heard for half a mile. 
 If needs be, it is a voice that could talk all day 
 and never grow weak nor hoarse. 
 52 
 
HEALTH ANDWEALTH 
 
 Muldoon has no suggestion of a foreign accent, 
 and I will admit that a man by the name of Mul 
 doon who has no brogue is a bit disappointing. 
 Every action of the man implies reserve ; every 
 thing he does is well within his limit. 
 When he sits he does not cross his legs, play the 
 devil s tattoo with his hands, twirl his mus 
 tache, stroke his hair, scratch his nose, adjust 
 his necktie, nor examine his finger-nails. He 
 completes his toilet in his room. 
 Such control of nerves, such perfect self-pos 
 session, such absolute grace clothed or stripped 
 gives hope that the spirit of Athens may yet 
 to us return. 
 
 "I think," said Professor Muldoon to me, "I 
 think my success such as it is as a trainer, 
 has hinged on the fact that I have never worked 
 for great muscular strength, simply for balance, 
 or what you call mastery or control. Few men 
 possess their bodies, rather the body bullies the 
 mind all day long. " 
 
 Please note the remark, and tell me if the col 
 leges have n t something to learn from Muldoon. 
 In fact, why does n t Harvard hire him ? 
 And the answer is, the services of Muldoon are 
 
 53 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 not for sale, save as you go to him and become 
 a part of his system. 
 
 MTJLDOON is rich, and he works now 
 simply because he is wise and knows 
 that no man can ever afford to be idle that 
 retiring on your laurels is death unless you 
 are working for new laurels. So Muldoon works 
 at the task he likes, and in the way that pleases 
 him ^ jfc 
 
 When a youth he began to train as a wrestler; 
 he evolved an Idea, and this Idea is that the 
 mind of a man should rule his body, that the 
 body should obey the mind. 
 And after nearly fifty years of work in physical 
 training, there is only one word which for him 
 looms large, and that is the word OBEY. 
 Muldoon made his body obey, and he became 
 perfectly ambidextrous & Wrestling requires 
 more science than boxing, and so he specialized 
 on the mat instead of the gloves. 
 Then he took to training prize-fighters. 
 Members of the Society for Ethical Culture will 
 recall that Muldoon trained Sullivan for his 
 match with Kilrain, and acted as Sullivan s 
 
 54 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 second at the ringside. John gave the sedative 
 to every man he met as long as he was trained 
 by Muldoon. 
 
 For a time the Solid Man succeeded in making 
 John L. obey, but finally John L. decided that 
 in all the bright lexicon of words there is no such 
 word as obedience. Then it was that John fell 
 an easy prey to Corbett, who weighed thirty 
 pounds less, but had his body under control, 
 so that it was the ready and willing servant of 
 his mind. 
 
 A little later, Muldoon traveled with Maurice 
 Barrymore and played the part of Charles the 
 Wrestler in "As You Like It," always giving a 
 genuine exhibition for the ladies before Charles 
 graciously allowed Orlando to win. 
 Next he posed in living pictures, and gave lec 
 tures on health in various colleges. Ten years 
 ago he established his present "Olympia," 
 five miles back in the hills from White Plains, 
 New York. 
 
 Prize-fighters, wrestlers and athletes are no 
 longer the object of Muldoon s solicitude; his 
 raw stock are business men, artists, lawyers, 
 preachers and doctors who have gone the pace. 
 
 55 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 If Muldoon has a system, a system never tried 
 by any one else, and that never will be tried 
 by any one else, because no other living man 
 dare attempt it, knowing perfectly well it would 
 fail e& < 
 
 And if you know a thing is going to fail, it does. 
 Muldoon s system is not founded on love, kind 
 ness and good cheer. These are all secondary, 
 and while they do exist in his mind, they are kept 
 carefully out of sight. The plan will die with 
 him Jt> < 
 
 THE key-note of the whole thing is obedi 
 ence. It is necessary to subjugate the will 
 of the patient. Paradoxically, you have to kill a 
 man s will in order to build it up. 
 The whip-method of breaking horses is along 
 the same line. The trainer goes into the box stall 
 with a whip and terrorizes the animal until he 
 absolutely submits, and yet the horse is never 
 struck ^ * 
 
 Muldoon is cruel only as Nature is cruel you 
 obey Nature, co-operate with her and you find 
 that she is kind. Obedience to Nature brings 
 you everything you need, mental, spiritual, 
 56 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 physical. Obey Muldoon and cease butting-in 
 with your stub-end of a will and you succeed. 
 The only way you can get the start of Muldoon 
 is to obey him. To obey requires will power ^t 
 The average man s body has never learned to 
 obey. It is slothful, lazy, slipshod, domineering, 
 indifferent, disrespectful to his mind. 
 A man may have a creative intellect, and yet 
 his body be a very wretch of a body, that gorges 
 itself with bad food, swills strange drinks, 
 refuses to go to bed at night, and declines to 
 get up in the morning, wooing persistently the 
 means of debility and disease. 
 A great poet may be swag-bellied, blear-eyed 
 and have title to a slouching, willful, erratic, 
 untrained digestive tract. The man has never 
 forced his body to acquire good habits thru the 
 law of obedience, and after years of bodily back- 
 talk, things reach a point where this hoodlum of 
 a physical cosmos is going down and dragging 
 the mind with it. 
 
 As long as the man can do business, he submits 
 to being bullied by his body. All sorts of vicious 
 habits grow up unrebuked. The body demands 
 cigars, cigarettes, stimulants, strange dishes, 
 
 57 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 novel sights, smells, sounds and sensations, and 
 the mind of the man is powerless, being dragged 
 hither and yon by this willful restless beast, 
 which often grows more gross and inefficient 
 and full of twitchings, twists and pain as the 
 mind evolves, develops and refines. Thought 
 goes on, and the man may do big work, but 
 some day the hand that reaches for the salt 
 picks up the pepper, and the tongue that would 
 say "pepper," says "salt." 
 The nerve-specialist is here called in, scowls, 
 coughs, takes an owl-like look, and explains that 
 it is incipient locomotor ataxia, with aphasia 
 as a side line, all caused through poisoning of 
 the system by uric acid say, call it Bright s 
 Disease and Nerv. Pros. 
 
 If the patient knows enough, as he probably 
 does not, he goes to Muldoon and is born again. 
 But probably he takes to dope and drugs and 
 dies inside of two years. Or he may haunt Hot 
 Springs and the sanitariums, and by baths and 
 massage stand the reaper off for five years. 
 Tuberculosis is a disease of the will ^ If a 
 stronger will can be found that will take charge 
 
 of the other man s body at the critical time, and 
 58 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 force right breathing, eating and exercise on the 
 patient, he will get well. Left to himself he suc 
 cumbs to inertia or a lazy habit of body, the air 
 cells of the lungs collapse and the man dies JL 
 Muldoon says that all diseases are the result of 
 lack of will. He simply takes charge of the man s 
 body. His one request is that the man abdicate 
 his own will and obey. So difficult is obedience 
 to the average so-called successful man, that 
 one out of three of the patients who go to Mul 
 doon leave him inside of two days, forfeiting 
 their first weekly payment of sixty dollars. 
 If Muldoon has an opportunity of seeing the 
 discouraged and disgruntled man before he 
 goes, he presents the card of a local undertaker 
 at White Plains, wishes him good luck in purga 
 tory and sends personal regards to Mephisto. 
 Those who stick it out for three days under 
 Muldoon s treatment, remain from three to 
 six weeks, and get well. There may be excep 
 tions, but this is the general rule. 
 
 MULDOON S treatment goes under the 
 general term of "dope," and the formula 
 is about as follows : 
 
 59 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 You arrive at the long, plain, Quaker-gray 
 shingled house on the hill, after a pleasant 
 drive of an hour from the station at White 
 Plains e& e^ 
 
 Muldoon receives you with the quiet dignity 
 of a Chesterfield. You are impressed by the 
 man, only you wish he would thaw out and 
 sympathize with you. Later you ascertain that 
 Muldoon does not effuse over anybody, even 
 over a member of the Supreme Court of the 
 United States. 
 
 In five minutes Muldoon s quick eyes have 
 looked you over and he has* decided that you 
 have enough vitality to build on parties in 
 wheeled chairs or those requiring surgical 
 treatment never find Muldoon at home. 
 So you are accepted. You are gently told that 
 you cannot have any visitors, either doctors or 
 laymen, and that books, medicine and stimu 
 lants are tabu. The suggestion seems a trifle 
 curt, but you submit, and then and there bid 
 your friends good-bye. 
 
 You watch their carriage as it slowly circles 
 down the hill, and is lost amid the towering 
 
 elms ^ ^ 
 60 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 The first move is to interview the secretary 
 he being the only person in sight. 
 You pay the genial young man your first week s 
 board of sixty dollars: this advance payment 
 being a part of the dope, a necessary psycholog 
 ical item in the work of regeneration. 
 You are given a heavy woolen sweater, a gray 
 pair of gymnasium trousers and a pair of felt 
 slippers. Then you are shown to your room and 
 told to put on this suit and go below where the 
 Professor will see you. 
 
 Your room is furnished with a little table, one 
 chair, and a small iron bed. All toilet requisites 
 are noticeable by their absence. The room looks 
 like a cell, save that there are two open doors, 
 one opening right out-of-doors and the other 
 leading to the hall that runs the length of the 
 building. These rooms, you learn, are known as 
 "kennels." You note that there are no locks nor 
 bolts on the doors, and if you are a cosmic, it 
 comes to you that the insignificant matter of 
 ventilation evidently is not in the hands of the 
 occupant ^fc ^ 
 
 You sit down on the bed and think about noth 
 ing in particular, rather enjoying the view out 
 
 61 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 of the open door, listening to the drowsy hum 
 of bees, and the summer wind in the locusts & 
 You have about concluded to lie down on the 
 little bed and take a nap, when an athletic youth 
 in a sweater puts his head in the door and says, 
 "The Professor is waiting for you." And then 
 adds half confidentially, "It s all right if you 
 mind him, but you ought to have changed your 
 clothes at once and not lingered here. " 
 You murmur excuses and get into the convict s 
 clothes in less time than you usually take to 
 dress. You look about for a mirror to ascertain 
 how frightful you appear. No mirror is to be 
 seen jfc ^ 
 
 You go down stairs and enter the gymnasium. 
 The Professor is there in gym dress, putting a 
 class of a dozen thru a course of callisthenics. 
 1f Then occurs exactly what occurred when 
 Chauncey M. Depew entered the same room 
 under like conditions six weeks before. 
 The senator was yellow; there were dark baggy 
 lines under his eyes, but the gymnasium dress 
 into which he had packed his senatorial person 
 offered an excuse for art. He approached the 
 
 Professor and proffered a small pliocene pleas- 
 62 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 antry. The Professor replied, "Sir, sit down," 
 
 in a low, clear, distinct tone. 
 
 Depew s punning proclivity vanished. He had 
 
 really expected that the Professor would slap 
 
 his thigh and roar, as people in civilization were 
 
 wont when the nectarine spoke, or at least smile 
 
 and ask after things down in Washington. And 
 
 all the Professor said was, "Sir, sit down," and 
 
 went right along with his callisthenics. 
 
 "Right foot left foot right arm left up, 
 
 back, down, over, out neck to the left ! " 
 
 The Senator moved over to the window, looked 
 
 out, strolled down to the end of the gym. The 
 
 class was working down that way, too. 
 
 "Sir, sit down!" suddenly calls the voice of the 
 
 Professor jfc jfc 
 
 The Senator is sure the voice is not for him, no 
 
 one had ever spoken to him like that. He still 
 
 strolls jfc jfc 
 
 Now comes the third order with the Professor 
 
 walking toward him, "Mr. Depew, sit down!" 
 
 pointing to a seat along the wall. 
 
 The Senator is startled, then he half laughs as 
 
 it comes to him that it is a joke, and he replies, 
 
 "Oh, I prefer to stand, thank you." 
 
 63 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 The fourth time the order rings out and 
 Depew realizes that it is no joke. He jumps, 
 shivers and stammers, "Well, I would have 
 you know that I am a gentleman, and am 
 used to associating with gentlemen ^t You 
 evidently do not know me I am Senator 
 Depew." 
 
 "I know," says Muldoon with exasperating 
 coolness, "I know you, but evidently you do 
 not know me. You seemingly have come here 
 to give an after-dinner speech, to present a lec 
 ture on Delsarte, or to favor me with lessons in 
 etiquette SIT DO WN !" 
 This time the order comes like a knock-down 
 blow, and Depew sinks upon the seat and sits 
 there dazed like a boy awaiting punishment for 
 stealing jam from a high shelf. 
 The Professor calmly continues his work with 
 the class for five minutes, and then orders 
 Depew upon the floor and motions him his 
 place in the line. 
 "Hands straight up!" 
 Depew puts his out in front. 
 "Hands straight up!" rings out the order for 
 the second time. Depew makes haste to comply. 
 64 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 work is really quite moderate, but the 
 newcomer thinks it is severe, and is greatly 
 relieved when in half an hour the order is 
 given, "To the shower-bath!" 
 Arriving there, all disrobe save the Senator, 
 but when the stern order is given to " Get into 
 the game," he begins to struggle with his 
 sweater and is soon in the gentle guise of 
 Correggio s cherubim. 
 
 Men in gym suits are all on an equality. Car- 
 lyle said, "A naked House of Lords would 
 inspire no awe," but all he meant was that a 
 Senator under a shower-bath would command 
 no senatorial courtesy. 
 
 A rough towel is tossed to each man and 
 Depew is simply told to " Get busy ! " 
 And he does, for it has dawned upon him that 
 safety lies either in flight or obedience. 
 Supper comes and after that there is a long 
 stroll across the meadow, over the hills and 
 back thru the woods, along the country road. 
 If The western sky is colored deep with red 
 where the sun has gone down. Over across the 
 moor, a half mile away, the white mist is gather 
 ing. The summer night closes down, and the 
 
 65 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 distant woods turn to purple patches. f The 
 strolling party reach the long, low house on 
 the hill-top, just as the clock in the kitchen is 
 striking nine. 
 
 The Senator is told he can go to bed. No order 
 is required. He finds his room, undresses with 
 out a light, puts on a woolen night-robe that he 
 finds on the bedpost and tumbles into bed, sub 
 dued, tired and a bit resentful. 
 He has decided to go home on the morrow the 
 system is too severe. But before he can really 
 formulate his plans he is asleep, lulled by the 
 lowing of distant cattle. 
 
 SIX o clock! "It is the mild voice of the 
 athletic attendant. 
 
 At six-ten the attendant once more calls, this 
 time in a chest-tone. 
 
 At six-fifteen, he returns with a bucket of water, 
 that he is told to douse on the victim of Mrs. 
 Morpheus without ruth. It is not necessary, the 
 victim is cosmic, and struggles out on the floor, 
 making a dive for duds. 
 
 "Sleep is a privilege," says Muldoon, "and 
 when this truth is once fixed in a man s mind, 
 
 66 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 he gets busy pounding his ear the instant he 
 
 gets a chance. " 
 
 Insomnia never comes to a man who has to get 
 
 up exactly at six o clock. Insomnia troubles only 
 
 those who can sleep any time. 
 
 People who live on the banks of the Ganges 
 
 never bathe, because they can bathe any time. 
 
 H To go to bed at a certain hour and to get up 
 
 at a certain hour means the cultivation of a 
 
 habit of the body. This habit puts you to bed, 
 
 tucks you in, and softly sings you a lullaby that 
 
 closes down your eyelids, bidding dull care 
 
 begone & * 
 
 Muldoon holds that it is just as necessary to get 
 
 up in the morning as to go to bed at night. 
 
 DOWN below, the twenty-four men have 
 gathered for be it known that Muldoon 
 takes one score and four, and no more. There 
 are light callisthenics, a march of a half mile 
 and back, then the shower-bath. 
 All this with great deliberation. The victims 
 are given bathrobes, and told to go up-stairs, 
 and clothe them in their right minds and citi 
 zens clothes. 
 
 67 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 Muldoon is a great believer in the psychology 
 of duds. When we eat we should dress like 
 gentlemen, just as if we were to meet expected 
 guests. The act of dressing and undressing tends 
 to stop brooding, and masticating the mental 
 limit. The late Dr. Maurice Bucke once told 
 me that he had blocked a fit of hysteria in a 
 woman, by asking her to go and change her 
 dress, and do up her hair, because he wanted 
 her to meet a certain man from New York who 
 was coming to tea. 
 
 Muldoon says the gym dress is only valuable 
 as you discard it for clean, dainty linen, and 
 appear before the world a new man. You get 
 dirty in order that you may get clean, but to get 
 dirty and stay so is no virtue. But people who 
 are always clean are not much better than the 
 other kind. 
 
 And note you this, Muldoon trains with his 
 trainers. All that he asks them to do, he does. 
 He himself, is an immaculate dresser, without 
 being extravagant. But he believes in a clean 
 collar, cuffs, a fresh handkerchief and dental 
 floss jt jt 
 Breakfast comes after the gentle work, the 
 
 68 
 
HEALTH AND WE A L T H 
 
 bath, and the getting ready, as a gift of the gods. 
 It is a simple meal of fruit, toast, poached eggs, 
 and just one cup of coffee. I noticed that every 
 man polished his plate, but no one asked for 
 more ^ ^ 
 
 Muldoon sits at the server s table in the middle 
 of the room, and each plate is filled under his 
 immediate watchful eye. Without being fussy, 
 he yet knows exactly what every man is doing 
 all of the time. 
 
 The eating is done with great deliberation. 
 After breakfast, there is rest for just an hour, 
 and then the word is passed, "Boots and sad 
 dles!" 
 
 You get into your riding clothes, and go to the 
 barn a quarter of a mile away. If you are a 
 horseman, your animal is simply pointed out, 
 but if the work is new, you are shown how. 
 Horseback riding is always a scientific treat 
 ment for the neurotic. He forgets himself in 
 holding on and most of Muldoon s horses, I 
 saw, were selected with the idea of preventing 
 introspection in the rider. It is a slow ride of 
 two hours and a half. Occasionally, at the hills, 
 you dismount and lead your horse. 
 
 69 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 One little pleasantry is occasionally indulged in 
 
 when there are raw recruits who are prone to be 
 
 gay. You leave your horses in charge of a groom 
 
 and walk down a hill through the woods to get 
 
 a drink at a famous medicinal spring. 
 
 When you get back to the road, not a horse is in 
 
 sight they have broken loose and gone home. 
 
 ^f It is five miles to quarters my God! or 
 
 words to that effect. 
 
 Here the stout men, new to the work, begin to 
 
 plead, to beg, to swear the veterans laugh and 
 
 start off on foot. 
 
 When you get home it is strip again and a bath; 
 
 then citizens clothes and dinner. 
 
 After dinner there is a lolling time of an hour; 
 
 then "the stroll," a long slow walk, over the 
 
 meadow, through the woods, across the creek. 
 
 Tf Supper comes with the novitiate hungry as a 
 
 bear, and tired. Exhaustion is something else. 
 
 ^f Then it is that the deserters desert. They 
 
 bribe a stable man to take them back to town 
 
 in a wheelbarrow any way. The work is 
 
 killing Muldoon is a tyrant! 
 
 But if they remain two days, they stay two more, 
 
 and then Nature begins to play through them. 
 70 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 Tired, lame, sore, stupid yes, but it is a deli 
 cious stupidity, not one of fear and cold feet. It 
 is just a don t-give-a-dam-feeling. 
 A certain amount of physical exercise excites 
 mentality; follow up your out-door work, and 
 mind hibernates. Exercise is an investment 
 you expend the energy only that you may get 
 back more energy. You spend a hundred dol 
 lars to get back one hundred and fifty. 
 All this physical work is to get your body where 
 it can rest and absorb. 
 
 The body is a storage battery in order to 
 replenish its cells with potential energy, you 
 have to get it in a state of rest. This condition 
 of perfect rest comes best after slow, moderate 
 exercise in the open air. 
 
 Muldoon simply carries his men over the hill to 
 a point where they are so tired they can rest and 
 absorb. He knows exactly what he is doing he 
 nearly kills them, but strangely enough, none 
 die on the premises. Those only die who lack 
 the will to allow him to use his will to amend 
 theirs, and these of course are the deserters ^ 
 If It is so much easier to swallow something out 
 
 of a bottle, and hire a man to give you massage. 
 
 71 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 If But everything costs if you would have 
 health, cultivate your will and expend energy. 
 We know enough, and if we only had the will 
 to methodize our lives, we could all live a hun 
 dred years, unless run over by a benzine buggy. 
 As it is, for lack of will and lack of a Muldoon, 
 we die just when we should be getting ready to 
 live. Great is Muldoon, trainer of men! 
 
 HELP YOURSELF BY HELPING OTHERS 
 
 The Down-and-Outer 
 
 LITTLE hotels often feature their clerks. 
 Small tailors proudly put forth their 
 cutters. But a big business is built by 
 many earnest men working together for one 
 common end and aim. It is planned by one 
 man, but is carried forward by many. 
 A steamship is manned by a crew, and no one 
 particular sailor is necessary. You can replace 
 any man in the engine room of the Furst Bis 
 marck, and she will cross the ocean in less than 
 six days, just the same. 
 
 In an enterprise that amounts to anything, all 
 transactions should be in the name of the firm, 
 72 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 because the firm is more than any person con 
 nected with it. Clerks or salesmen who have 
 private letter-heads, and ask customers to send 
 letters to them personally, are on the wrong 
 track ^ e^ 
 
 To lose your identity in the business is one of 
 the penalties of working for a great institution. 
 Don t protest it is no new thing all big con 
 cerns are confronted by the same situation- 
 Get in line ! It is a necessity. 
 If you want to do business individually and in 
 your own name, stay in the country or do busi 
 ness for yourself. Peanut stands are individual 
 istic; when the peanut man goes, the stand also 
 croaks. Successful corporations are something 
 else jil ^t 
 
 Of course the excuse is that if you send me the 
 order direct, I, knowing you and your needs, 
 can take much better care of your wants than 
 that despised and intangible thing, "the house. " 
 Besides, sending it thru the Circumlocution 
 Office takes time. 
 
 There is something more to say ^t First, long 
 experience has shown that "the saving of time" 
 is exceedingly problematic. For while in some 
 
 73 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 instances a rush order can be gotten off the 
 same night by sending it to an individual, yet 
 when your individual has gone fishing, is at the 
 ball game, or is sick, or else given up his job 
 and gone with the opposition house, there are 
 great and vexatious delays, dire confusions and 
 a strain on vocabularies. 
 
 This thing of a salesman carrying his trade with 
 him, and considering the customers of the house 
 his personal property, is the thought of only 2x4 
 men. A house must have a certain fixed policy 
 a reputation for square dealing otherwise it 
 could not exist at all. It could not even give 
 steady work and good pay to the men who 
 think it would be only a hole in the ground 
 without them. 
 
 In the main, the policy of the house is right. 
 Don t acquire the habit of butting in with your 
 stub-end of a will in opposition to the general 
 policy of the house. To help yourself, get in line 
 with your house, stand by it, take pride in it, 
 respect it, uphold it, and regard its interests as 
 yours. The men who do this become the only 
 ones who are really necessary jfc They are the 
 Top-notchers Hundred-pointers. The worst 
 
 74 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 about the other plan is that it ruins the man 
 who undertakes it. For a little while, to do a 
 business of your own in the shadow of the big 
 one, is beautiful presents come, personal let 
 ters, invitations, favors, is Mr. Johnson in ! By 
 and by Johnson gets chesty ; he resents it when 
 other salesmen wait on his customers or look 
 after his mail. Re begins to plot for personal 
 gain, and the first thing you know he is a plain 
 grafter, at loggerheads with his colleagues, with 
 the interests of the house secondary to his own. 
 ^f We must grow towards the house, and with 
 it, not away from it. Any policy which lays an 
 employee open to temptation, or tends to turn 
 his head, causing him to lose sight of his own 
 best interests, seizing at a small present better 
 ment and losing the great advantage of a life s 
 business, is bad. The open cash-drawer, valua 
 ble goods lying around not recorded or inven 
 toried, free and easy responsibility, good enough 
 plans, and let- er-go policies, all tend to ruin 
 men just as surely as do cigarettes, booze, paste 
 board and the races. 
 
 The man who thinks he owns "his trade," and 
 threatens to walk out and take other employees 
 
 75 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 and customers with him, is slated to have his 
 dream come true. The manager gives in the 
 individualist is then sure he is right the en 
 larged ego grows, and some day, the house 
 simply takes his word for it, and out he goes. 
 The down-and-outer heads off his mail at the 
 post-office, and for some weeks embarrasses 
 customers, delays trade and more or less con 
 fuses system, but a month or two smooths 
 things out, and he is forgotten absolutely. The 
 steamship plows right along. 
 Our egotist gets a new job, only to do it all over 
 again if he can. This kind of a man seldom 
 learns. When he gets a job, he soon begins to 
 correspond with rival firms for a better one, 
 with intent to take his "good- will" along. 
 The blame should go back to the first firm 
 where he was employed, that allowed him a 
 private letter-head, and let him get filled with 
 the fallacy that he was doing business on his 
 own account, thus losing sight of the great 
 truth that we win thru co-operation and not 
 thru segregation or separation. The firm s 
 interests are yours; if you think otherwise, 
 
 you are already on the slide. 
 76 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 The only man who should be given full swing 
 and unlimited power is the one who can neither 
 resign nor run away when the crash comes, but 
 who has to stick and face the deficit, and shoul 
 der the disgrace of failure. All who feel free to 
 hike whenever the weather gets thick would do 
 well to get in line with the policy of the house. 
 TJ The weak point in Marxian Socialism is that it 
 plans to divide benefits, but does not say who 
 shall take care of deficits. It relieves everybody 
 of the responsibility of failure and defeat. And 
 just remember this, unless somebody assumes 
 the responsibility of defeat there will be no 
 benefits to distribute. Also this, that the man 
 who is big enough to be a Somebody is also 
 willing to be a nobody. 
 
 EVERYBODY SHOULD REMEMBER TO FORGET 
 
 Jealousy a Disease 
 
 ON the railroad station platform at 
 Ashtabula the other day, a Division 
 Superintendent in the employ of the 
 "Lake Shore," asked me, "Do you know the 
 cause of most railway accidents?" "What 
 
 77 
 
HEALTH AN D W E A L T H 
 
 causes most accidents ? Why, the disobedience 
 of orders," I answered. 
 
 "No, it is domestic infelicity. You say, * diso 
 bedience of orders, and this is partially right, 
 but the cause lies deeper. Why should a rail 
 way employee disobey orders ? Why should an 
 engineer run past the station when he is ordered 
 to stop ? It is his own life he endangers most. 
 Why should a train-despatcher send out two 
 trains facing each other at the same time on one 
 track? Or why does a switch-tender throw a 
 switch right in front of a fast express ? 
 "People call these things accidents, but that is 
 not the word they are the result of mental 
 conditions. And it is for the General Manager 
 to be on the lookout for these conditions and 
 every good railroad manager now is. Do you 
 remember when two passenger-trains met head 
 on, out in Indiana, last year ? The engineer of 
 one of these trains had in his pocket an order to 
 take the side-track at a certain station. He ran by 
 that station at fifty miles an hour, and in five 
 minutes there was a crash that snuffed out fifty- 
 four lives and two hundred thousand dollars 
 
 worth of property. 
 78 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 "I knew the engineer. Let us call him Hank 
 Bristol, for that was n t his name. He was 
 married to a smashing, dashing, beautiful 
 creature, and they boarded at a hotel had 
 no children. I boarded there, too, and we all 
 made eyes at Hank s dashing wife. She used 
 to play the piano and sing a little, and recite. 
 The love of one plain, honest man was not 
 enough for her she craved the admiration of 
 the clever. She was n t a bad woman, just an 
 idle one who spent every spare cent Hank made 
 on finery, and who of course, wanted the finery 
 and herself to be admired. Hank w 7 as proud of 
 her, too. One evening he kissed the dear woman 
 good-bye and started out to make a night run. 
 He went out to the roundhouse and at the last 
 moment the Old Man decided to save Hank 
 back and let him take out a special carrying 
 the President and Directors of the road in the 
 morning. Hank was tickled it was a great 
 compliment to him. He went home to tell his 
 wife; he used to tell her everything. 
 "But when he got home, she wasn t there she 
 had gone to the theatre with a boot and shoe 
 drummer from Chicago. 
 
 79 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 "Hank went away and walked the streets till 
 morning his wife never knew, and I believe 
 she does n t yet. He walked the streets all night 
 and ran out the special in the morning. 
 " But after that he was never the same. He used 
 to confide in me he just had to tell some one 
 to keep his heart from bursting with suppressed 
 grief jt ejt 
 
 "He grew absent-minded, lost flesh, appetite 
 was gone, was nervous the doctor said he 
 should quit coffee and cut out half the tobacco. 
 1[" I knew what was the matter he was jealous. 
 I told him so and he laughed a laugh that gave 
 me goose-flesh. I jealous ? Why, Bill, you don t 
 know me I jealous ? The idea! No, I m only 
 mad at myself, Bill, because I m married to a 
 damn fool of a woman, who makes my heart 
 eat itself out with grief because she lives on the 
 fringe of folly. Why don t I leave her! My God! 
 Bill, that is the trouble I can t I love her! 
 "Hank did n t work on our road or I d never 
 have let him touch a throttle, no, not even if 
 he d been my brother. I knew it would come. 
 He was found under his engine, the order that 
 
 he had disobeyed in his pocket, and a picture 
 80 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 in his watch of the woman that had caused the 
 disaster. No, it probably has never dawned on 
 this woman that she caused the wreck. She 
 wore deep mourning and the cutest little black 
 bonnet with a white ruche. She was the most 
 fetching widow you ever saw and she knew it 
 without being told. 
 
 "Yes, that is what I said marital infelicity 
 is responsible for the railroad wrecks, and 
 causes most of the others, too. 
 "The only safe man is the one whose heart is 
 at rest who has a home, and a wife who stays 
 there and minds her business, looks after the 
 babies, has no secrets, and does not make eyes 
 at other men that s the kind! I know every 
 man who works for me, and I know a disturbed, 
 distressed and jealous man a train length aw T ay. 
 My heart bleeds for em, but I serve the pub 
 lic, and none such can run an engine for me jt 
 "Do you see that man in the blue overalls down 
 there at the end of the platform ? Well, he is the 
 engineer who will take out this train. See how 
 calm, satisfied and self-possessed he is; he has 
 no cares, no anxieties beyond the desire to do 
 his work well. He is not so awfully brilliant, but 
 
 81 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 he will never disappoint you. Now, when we 
 start, about two miles out, you will hear the 
 engine give three soft toots, and over to the left, 
 a little woman will come out of a white cottage 
 and wave her apron. " 
 
 The conductor then called, "All aboard!" The 
 bell clanged warningly we stepped into the 
 coach, and the train started. We had now 
 reached the outskirts of the town, and were 
 skimming along at the rate of thirty miles an 
 hour & & 
 
 The engine gave three soft, short toots, and I 
 saw the white cottage, a woman standing on 
 the back porch, with children holding on her 
 skirts all round she was waving a big check 
 apron ! 
 
 " What did I tell you ? " asked the Superintend 
 ent "rest reigns in that man s heart he will 
 never forget an order his mind is free, so he 
 does his work! He is at peace with himself, and 
 at peace with the world. " 
 
 I am going to write a little here on the subject 
 of jealousy. There is only one kind of jealousy, 
 and that is Sex Jealousy. People often use the 
 
 word when the thing they refer to is covetous- 
 82 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 ness. We may covet a man s talent, or his pos 
 sessions, or we may dislike a person conceiv 
 ing against him a prejudice and thus belittle 
 him; but jealousy is another matter. Jealousy 
 is not the exclusive possession of the highly 
 organized, nor the extremely sensitive, nor the 
 irritable, nor the weak. The fact is, the strong 
 est natures are more given to jealousy than the 
 weaker ones, and the most patient man may 
 manifest the disease in its most virulent form. 
 Shakespeare, who knew the human heart as no 
 other writer ever has, gives us a picture of jeal 
 ousy. The play of Othello is simply a portrayal 
 of this passion. And the man Othello is surely 
 not a man afflicted with "nerves" he is a 
 great, serene, and self-sufficient personality. He 
 is healthy, honest, trustful, truthful, and filled 
 with a childlike confidence. 
 But Othello is a man a strong, well-sexed 
 man. Beware how you arouse such a one! 
 Othello s intellect was no match for the cold, 
 calculating brain of lago, and he was played 
 upon by this plotting, soulless knave until his 
 love for Desdemona was curdled into hate, and 
 he killed that which, in all the world, he loved 
 
 83 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 best, ^f Only the strongly sexed are ever jealous. 
 Weak natures are indifferent they transfer 
 affection easily there isn t much to bestow 
 the change is easily effected, and the past for 
 gotten. But the strong give themselves, and the 
 bonds they make are fastened to their souls 
 with hoops of steel. Love, to such, is no light 
 matter. 
 
 Jealousy seems the absolute reversal of love. 
 It is the swinging from the sunny warmth of 
 the equator to the frigid cold of the north pole. 
 I once saw a woman in a ballroom, calmly 
 seated and chatting pleasantly, her face aglow 
 with good-will and the genial warmth of life. A 
 waltz was being played, and the couples glided 
 past us in mazy, dreamy rhythm. 
 "How beautiful it all is," she said to me. 
 And as she said the words, two dancers swung 
 by in close embrace, evidently conversing, 
 their faces near together. 
 
 The woman talking to me started to rise, but 
 sank back. The color faded away from her lips, 
 her eyes changed their hue, the eyeballs seemed 
 glazed, her breath came in hot, feverish gasps. 
 I spoke to her, and she started, absent-mindedly, 
 84 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 but did not hear what I said. Over her fine face 
 came a look of abject woe. An a\vful pain was 
 clutching at her heart ; and she tried to hide her 
 anguish with a smile, but the smile was only a 
 grimace, a sorrowful substitute, and it seemed 
 to freeze upon her face, Medusa-like. 
 "Call my carriage I am ill," she said huskily. 
 Later, I learned that the woman had reached 
 her home, gone to her room, locked the door, 
 thrown herself upon the bed, and at seven 
 o clock the next morning had been found there, 
 fully robed in all her ballroom finery, moaning 
 and groaning, half delirious. She was undressed 
 and put to bed by her maids, and a physician 
 summoned. 
 
 "A kind of typhoid fever, caused by drinking 
 impure water," said the doctor, and cited sev 
 eral other similar cases that had occurred in the 
 neighborhood. It was fully six weeks before the 
 woman was able to be oirt of her house again ^t 
 The jealous spasm that had come over the lady 
 was caused by the sight of her husband dancing 
 with a certain woman. He might dance w r ith any 
 other woman but not that woman he had 
 
 promised he would not ! 
 
 85 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 The sight stifled every generous emotion of her 
 soul, and if she had had the power, she would 
 have blasted the man and woman dead at her 
 feet. Did she have any real "cause" for jeal 
 ousy ? I do not know probably not. Othello 
 had no cause for jealousy. Reasons light as air 
 are, to the jealous, confirmation strong as Holy 
 Writ. But the husband who caused his wife this 
 awful pain might have been simply stupid and 
 innocent; he might have been malicious and 
 purposeful in his act; or he might have been 
 guilty and indifferent. I do not know. All that I 
 relate is the phenomena. 
 
 Some months ago, in Cincinnati, a colored 
 sleeping-car porter was arrested for attempting 
 to kill his wife. He was slashing her with a razor, 
 and doubtless would have killed her had not 
 help arrived at the minute. She was taken to the 
 hospital, he to jail. The doctors said the woman 
 could not live, and after binding up her wounds 
 and making her as comfortable as possible, a 
 notary was summoned to take the woman s 
 ante-mortem testimony. And this was her state 
 ment: "My husband was jealous of me, and 
 tried to kill me; but it was my fault I pur- 
 
 86 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 posely made him jealous by pretending I loved 
 another man. When I told him this, he became 
 crazy it was all my fault bring him here, so 
 I may know before I die that he has forgiven 
 
 me." 
 
 The doctor in charge went to the police judge 
 the next day and gave it as his opinion that if 
 the prisoner was released and went to the hospi 
 tal to help nurse the woman, she would recover; 
 but if the man was punished and separated 
 from the woman, she would certainly languish 
 and die. 
 
 The judge decided to do an unjudicial thing, 
 and released the prisoner on his own recogni 
 zance. The man went to the hospital, remained 
 there as a helper to the nurses, and inside of a 
 month he and the woman went away with the 
 blessings and the good will of everybody in the 
 place, happy happier than ever before. 
 So much for a case where people of very lowly 
 intellect are involved. They lived on the same 
 plane and were mated. Let us now have an 
 instance where one of the intellectual giants of 
 the earth was concerned, and the woman one 
 who was utterly out of his class. 
 
 87 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 When thirty-two years of age, Goethe had a 
 misunderstanding with Charlotte von Stein, 
 to whom he had written a daily love-letter for 
 eleven years. He now very coldly made a bar 
 gain with the father of Christine Vulpius, that 
 the girl should come and keep house for him. 
 The girl, it seems, was not consulted. She was 
 just twenty, and pink an obliging, good- 
 natured, strong, buxom country lass. 
 She took charge of Goethe s household, did 
 what she was ordered to do, and was never in 
 evidence unless he invited. The guests and 
 callers never saw her. 
 
 After some months, when Goethe met Char 
 lotte von Stein at a reception, and she coldly 
 asked "Ah, and how is the health of Miss 
 Vulpius?" she probed the proud Goethe to 
 the quick. 
 
 Goethe grew to be very fond of Christine she 
 was so obedient, so faithful, so loyal ! She never 
 thwarted her master, taunted him, nor annoyed 
 him she just served him. To be sure, she took 
 no interest in his writings, and this was better 
 than if she had been a little higher in the scale, 
 and sought to rival him in literature. 
 
 88 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 But the day came when her father thought it 
 would be better for her to have a husband than 
 to be the mistress of a poet, and he brought a 
 worthy yeoman of her own class to see her. The 
 swain came to see Christine, and Goethe, the 
 proud and dignified, who had never felt the 
 pangs of jealousy, was stung and wrung and 
 wounded to his heart s core. His appetite van 
 ished his nights were sleepless. The swain 
 came back a second time, and Wolfgang Goethe 
 threw him bodily into the street, causing him 
 such a panic that he ran for his life, and never 
 again returned. 
 
 After living with "Miss Vulpius" for twenty 
 years, Goethe married her, "in order that their 
 children might be legitimate." A man s acts 
 are usually right, but his reasons seldom are. 
 Goethe married this woman because he loved 
 her, and he wished to prove it to her beyond 
 the ghost of a doubt. To be sure, they lived in 
 a different intellectual world, but there was 
 another world in which they met as equals ^ 
 Call their relationship base if you will that 
 question is not up for discussion at this time. 
 
 Goethe was at times jealous of this woman 
 
 89 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 she had grown to be a part of his life she min 
 istered to his well-being, and to secure her more 
 fully to himself, he proclaimed to all the world 
 that he had made her his legal wife. 
 I once heard Dr. James Bryce Howard, lec 
 turer on Pathology at Bellevue, make a state 
 ment to the effect that cancer was caused by 
 jealousy. His argument was something like this : 
 Jealousy at once affects the circulation, and the 
 emotion strikes at the organs of reproduction. 
 In moments of good will, when the mind is 
 calm, the circulation is complete, strong, 
 natural; the secretions are active, the pores 
 open, the glands do their perfect work. Let a 
 spasm of hate and fear sweep over the person, 
 and the heart thumps in wild alarm, and then 
 dies down until you can scarcely detect its throb. 
 The skin grows cold, the pores close, the secre 
 tions cease as though a sirocco of death had 
 swept over the body. There is congestion in 
 the parts, then fever, and Nature is working 
 hard to restore an equilibrium. That is just the 
 way cancer grows there is a stoppage in the 
 circulation, and Nature tries to clear it away 
 
 by sending more blood to the part < This 
 90 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 increased nutrition causes a growth to form, and 
 Nature, who works always according to general 
 laws, not caring for the individual, kills the 
 patient in an effort to cure him. 
 More women suffer from cancer than men, and 
 three-fourths of all cases of cancer with women 
 are in the mammal glands, or are connected 
 directly with the sex organs. And in summing 
 up the case the Doctor says: " Cancer is caused 
 by misdirected or abnormal sex emotion. If we 
 could bring about perfect love relations we 
 could do away with cancer as well as most 
 other diseases. " 
 
 There is no form of woe that will cause a suffer 
 ing so terrible as jealousy. It grows by what it 
 feeds upon a suspicion ! Ah ! it clutches for it, 
 even though it knows it is poison. It lies in wait, 
 it watches, it listens; and finding the proof it 
 wants, suffers more than ever. It suffers if it 
 finds proof, and suffers if it does n t. 
 For bodily pain, Nature is pitiful, and quickly 
 sends insensibility. But for the woes of the heart 
 there is only lingering torture nights of tossing 
 unrest, and days of lagging, leaden misery. 
 In bereavement by death there soon comes calm 
 
 91 
 
HEALTH AND WEALT H 
 
 and sweet peace, in thought of the virtues of the 
 loved one gone. We consider and dwell upon the 
 good that was in the dead, but in jealousy we 
 think only of the worst in the living. It is a blast 
 ing, withering hate towards that which we love 
 best. It corrodes the heart and makes the man 
 hate himself. It forms a trinity of hate hate 
 for the woman he loves, hate for the suspected 
 person, hate for himself. 
 
 That is why it stings so the jealous person 
 cannot justify himself. And so those who are 
 most jealous always affirm they are not so at 
 all, and scout the idea in hysterical emphasis. 
 So far, the passion of jealousy has never been 
 analyzed. Many men have written upon it, and 
 all they attempt to do is to describe its manifes 
 tations. The cause of jealousy is never equal to 
 the tragedy that tears and rends the soul, and 
 so no cause is ever sufficient. To analyze it per 
 fectly, we must perfectly comprehend the human 
 heart, and this we can never do. Human nature, 
 at last, remains the great riddle of God contra 
 diction and paradox confront us at every turn. 
 And should we possibly come to know one soul, 
 
 this gives no index to others, for in nature there 
 92 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 are no duplicates. ^fWho can explain why a 
 woman with a great and tender love for a man 
 will at times tantalize him into a frenzy ? Who 
 can tell why the simple-hearted Moor, Othello, 
 who loved the gentle Desdemona, should con 
 ceive such a hatred for her, prompted by a 
 flimsy and groundless suspicion, that he takes 
 her life ? Where these insurrections of the heart 
 are born that wreck and rend the souls of men, 
 is to us unguessed we simply do not know. 
 Jealousy seems a sort of rudimentary savage 
 instinct that has come down to us from a time 
 when its manifestation was a violence that 
 knew no restraint, but with tooth and claw 
 struck its object dead, so only the strongest 
 survived. But now we partially hold the savage 
 hate in check, and jealousy, instead of hurting 
 the other person, hurts worst the one who is 
 jealous. We hug the hate and let it gnaw at our 
 vitals, and poison all the well-springs of our 
 life with its venom. 
 
 The cure is not easy, and only a person of heroic 
 moral fiber can face the truth and bring phi 
 losophy to bear, to heal and cure ^t At first 
 thought, indifference is the panacea cease to 
 
 93 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 love at all be a stoic but this is to sink below 
 jealousy, and not to rise above it. 
 To say that jealous people ought to separate, is 
 trite; and it is true that people having totally 
 different temperaments should not force their 
 personal presence on each other to tantalize and 
 taunt and make this earth a hell. 
 If that engineer could have separated from his 
 wife, she gone her way and he his, he would in 
 time have become indifferent to her, and she 
 might have found a man she could love better. 
 If she had lived two hundred miles away, he 
 would not have cared who called upon her, or 
 when she went to the theatre. But to see her 
 daily to live with her and yet know that she 
 was living a life outside of his, stung him to the 
 quick <& e2* 
 
 Had Christine Vulpius gone away and married 
 a worthy peasant, Goethe would have wished 
 her well, and sent presents to the children; but 
 when she lived in his house, and was a part of 
 his life, and was being courted by another man, 
 Goethe grew furious and paced his room in pain 
 and wrath. Separation is better than lingering 
 death. But jealousy may possibly come to those 
 
 94 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 couples who really need each other. In it always 
 is the element of dissatisfaction with self, and 
 no pain and disappointment equals this when 
 we are disappointed with ourselves. 
 Yet very seldom are we quite honest and frank 
 with ourselves; instead of laying the blame at 
 home, we bestow it on another. 
 But let us be honest the man who is jealous 
 is himself to blame for the most part. 
 But even this knowledge does not mitigate the 
 woe. This engineer thought that if he had only 
 been a little more clever he might have filled the 
 heart of his wife so she would not have cared for 
 the admiration of other men. So his trouble was 
 partially a dissatisfaction with himself jt And 
 if at last she really was a hypocrite and a fool, 
 why, he was a fool, too, for having married her. 
 Goethe was far above Christine Vulpius in intel 
 lect, but he felt that he had failed to make her 
 happy, else surely she would not have accepted 
 another lover. 
 
 But concerning these tragedies of the heart, the 
 wise man does not dogmatize. His heart throbs 
 for all those who suffer. And in his own life he 
 would not escape the pangs of disprized love by 
 
 95 
 
*L EALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 loving less; rather does he love more. He seeks 
 to send his love to all, and make it universal. 
 That he concentrates his affection on certain 
 ones more than others, may be true, but he fixes 
 his thought upon the good that is in them, and 
 waives all else. 
 
 Folly, dissipation, absurdity, extravagance, are 
 all about us ; but these things do not rend our 
 souls, cause us sleepless nights, and turn the 
 genial current of our lives awry jt Let us 
 remember that we cannot afford to admit hate 
 into our hearts we are the ones who suffer the 
 wrong is not ours, and so we will not take it in. 
 ^| Each soul is a center in itself, and the mistakes 
 of others the follies of wife or child, husband 
 or parent, are none of ours. We are individuals 
 we came into the world alone, we live alone, 
 and we die alone; and we must be so girded 
 round by right that no fault of another can 
 touch us. God is on our side nothing can 
 harm us but ourselves. Let us make sure that 
 we are right, and then the follies of others will 
 pass us by unscathed. And above all, remember, 
 it is not for us to punish. "Vengeance is mine: 
 
 I will repay, saith the Lord. " 
 96 
 
HEALTH AND W E A L T H 
 
 GET THE STUDY HABIT AND You LL BE A 
 MORE THAN MEDIOCRE PERSON 
 
 Foster of Scranton 
 
 ALL good Philistines who read their Col 
 lect closely will recall that Mr. Thomas 
 J. Foster is one of the eight original 
 members of the American Legion of Honor. 
 Several persons have recently written to me 
 asking who Mr. "Foster is; a few have written in 
 quiring what Judge Lindsey has done, and one 
 gentleman unmuzzled his ignorance and in 
 quired concerning the achievements of Thomas 
 A. Edison. I have a long article on Edison which 
 I expect to print soon, unless restrained by 
 injunction. As for Lindsey, I may say some 
 thing more about him, too, but just now the 
 theme is Thomas J. Foster. 
 Along late in the eighties, Thomas J. Foster 
 was editor of a daily newspaper at Shenandoah, 
 Pa. He was a man in moderate circumstances, 
 practically unknown, as he had not committed 
 high crimes, and his field of usefulness had been 
 confined to local circles. He had been a clerk, 
 a storekeeper, a school-teacher, a printer and 
 
 97 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 then an editor. This natural evolution had come 
 through the Study Habit, the microbe of which 
 he had acquired in his young manhood. 
 In passing it may not be out of place to say that 
 every man (arid eke woman) is controlled by 
 Habit. When Habits are young they are like 
 lion cubs, easily managed, but later there comes 
 a time when they manage you. Bad Habits may 
 put you on the Avernus Jerkwater, No. 23, with 
 a ticket one way to Nowhere. 
 Good Habits are mentors, guardian angels, 
 and servants that regulate your sleep, your 
 work, your thought. It is the Study Habit 
 that distinguishes men. Once you get it, only 
 death can take it from you and perhaps even 
 death can t. I really don t know! 
 Foster had acquired the Study Habit. He was 
 nearly fifty, and if Oslerism is correct, was ripe 
 for the ether cone. But wait : Foster had an Idea 
 all of his life had been leading up to this. 
 The Idea crystallized through a tragedy, and 
 sometimes tragedy is a blessing, even though it 
 may be purchased at a terrific cost. 
 It seems that a near and dear friend of Foster, 
 
 a banker and manager of one of the big coal 
 08 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 companies, went into a coal-mine with several 
 friends on a little tour of inspection. 
 Night came on and the party did not return. It 
 was thought they had gone to a neighboring 
 village, so messengers were sent out. The mes 
 sengers returned with no tidings. The last seen 
 of the men was when they were entering the 
 mine ^ jt 
 
 Several coal-miners had been made deathly sick 
 through working in this same mine, and a dread 
 superstition was abroad that the place was 
 haunted. The miners refused to enter. So the 
 editor headed the rescue party, first starting 
 the air-pumps, and was lowered from the dark 
 ness of the night down into the blackness of the 
 bowels of the earth. 
 
 He groped his way forward and ere long the 
 flaring torches revealed the lifeless body of his 
 friend where he had fallen, and another man on 
 his back whom evidently he was attempting to 
 rescue, when Death canceled his efforts. All 
 were dead. 
 
 What killed the men ? The miners who had 
 worked all their lives in mines did not know 
 it was a noiseless, tasteless, odorlessfUnysteri- 
 
 99 
 
HEALTH AND W E A L T H 
 
 ous something that was all they knew. Some 
 spoke of it as "the hand of God. " 
 But Foster, the editor, knew what it was. He 
 knew that every result was preceded by a cause; 
 and that as soon as things are understood they 
 cease to be either mysterious or miraculous < 
 These tragedies had been happening for years, 
 only the victims were obscure persons, and 
 others waiting for their jobs filled the gaps, and 
 the saddened and desolated homes were soon 
 forgotten. It is a busy world, my masters. 
 But now through the heart of theteditor ran a 
 spasm of shame to think that society should 
 allow the men who serve it to go on risking 
 their lives in ignorance and peril. 
 He wrote a scathing editorial calling upon* the 
 citizens of the state to see to it that mine fore 
 men should be educated sufficiently in a scien 
 tific way so as to safeguard the lives of their 
 men & ^ 
 
 This editorial, with several others like it, led to 
 the passing of a law requiring that mine fore 
 men should pass an examination in technical 
 knowledge that would render their work reason 
 ably safe. 
 
 TOO 
 
HEALTH AND WE ALT II 
 
 This law at first seemed to work a decided hard 
 ship on many good men, some of whom did not 
 have a sufficient education to fulfil the require 
 ments: and the editor found himself strongly 
 denounced. But instead of fighting his would-be 
 enemies, he invited them to come to his office, 
 as he had a proposition to make them. They 
 came, and there he laid before them a plan- 
 he would teach them. Yes, they could use his 
 books, and he would explain the questions, the 
 questions more dreaded than fire-damp. So the 
 mine foremen met evenings at the editor s sanc 
 tum, and the miners with foreman ambitions 
 came. Many of these strong men were appalled 
 at long division and few could wrestle fractions, 
 but the editor prepared easy lessons in leaflet 
 form, and thru his patience and his love, terror 
 fled. The lessons were really easy everything 
 is easy when you know how. The miners got 
 their lessons and laughed to think they ever had 
 a fear ^ , 
 
 Some of the miners lived ten miles or more 
 away, and these prepared their "sums" or 
 "examples" and sent them in by mail for cor 
 rection & t 
 
 IOI 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 There was a "Miner s Column" in the editor s 
 newspaper, and this spread the good work. In 
 a year the Miners Correspondence Course had 
 spread all over Pennsylvania, and down into 
 West Virginia and out to Ohio. It seemed to fill 
 a need men were being educated for their 
 work, while at their work. Occasionally miners 
 became foremen ; foremen became superintend 
 ents. When government inspectors were wanted, 
 "Foster s men" were always given first choice. 
 The men who took up the Study Habit didn t 
 have so much time to spend at the saloons ^t 
 With their spare money they bought books. By 
 the light of the evening lamp they worked at 
 their lessons, often rocking the cradle at the 
 same time the mother busy at her housework. 
 If The editor s Idea was making head. The Idea 
 itself was an old one but its application was 
 the work of the editor man. The Chautauqua 
 was an inspiration to thousands, but it stopped 
 with history and belles-lettres. To teach tech 
 nology by mail seemed too much we all sup 
 posed a teacher at our elbow was necessary, 
 simply because we had always had a teacher 
 at our elbow. We did not realize that the things 
 
 IO2 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 we work out by ourselves benefit us most. The 
 Correspondence School plan gives the necessary 
 assistance and inspiration to Home Study, and 
 helps you to help yourself. 
 The Mining Course was a success, why not 
 other lines of study as well ? And Thomas J. 
 Foster, the editor, surprised at the success of 
 his Idea, transformed his newspaper business 
 into a college and became the world s school 
 master a teacher who teaches by mail e^His 
 business is known as the International Corre 
 spondence Schools, of Scranton, Pa. 
 In fifteen years he has enrolled a million 
 students. He has over two hundred separate 
 courses of study, covering almost the entire 
 field of art, textile, manual and commercial 
 endeavor. His pupils are men and women of 
 various ages in every walk of life. He enrolls 
 more students every month than enter Harvard, 
 Yale, Princeton and Dartmouth in a year. 
 One hundred and fifty railroad companies 
 employ his services in teaching their work 
 men so to better safeguard the lives and prop 
 erty of their patrons. Many colleges co-operate 
 
 with him and use his lesson leaves and text- 
 
 103 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 books. The United States Government has 
 officially endorsed the work, and given prefer 
 ence in naval, engineering and electrical work 
 to his students. He has the largest and best 
 printing plant in the world. He utilizes a capi 
 tal of four million dollars. One adult out of 
 every twenty-seven in America is a student in 
 the International Correspondence Schools < 
 
 RECENTLY I attended the Fifteenth 
 anniversary of the I. C. S. Two thou 
 sand people were present from all over the 
 world mostly men connected with the Corres 
 pondence School work. There were formal 
 exercises in a theatre, with much good music, 
 and some good speaking, for did I not say I 
 was there ? Then we were conducted over ten 
 acres of floor-space and were shown the inner 
 workings of the Idea. 
 
 The teachers who handle the examination- 
 papers are specialists, of course ; they represent 
 the principal colleges of the world, and while 
 some of the best have diplomas only from the 
 University of Hard Knocks, all have taken one 
 
 or more courses in the I. C. S. The usefulness 
 104 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 of the Idea turns on organization method jt 
 And the institution is certainly a monument to 
 its founder. Order, cleanliness, quiet, beauty, 
 light, ventilation, sanitation everywhere pre 
 vail. It all works like a Howard watch. 
 In the evening there was a banquet where were 
 seated a thousand men ; and five hundred ladies, 
 envious and admiring, fluttered in the galleries. 
 The use of a banquet is to break the social ice, 
 so I am told. 
 
 Thirty-one men shone resplendent at the speak 
 ers table in full dress-suits ; two were in citizens 
 clothes, one being your uncle and the other one 
 John Mitchell. 
 
 John s pastorate is bigger than mine four hun 
 dred thousand men place their destinies in his 
 hands, and the happiness and w r elfare of about 
 two million people are in his keeping. Half a 
 million people read my stuff, but none follow 
 my suggestions or accept my ideas as truth 
 unless they wish. 
 
 John Mitchell s face shows care, and his sober, 
 earnest ways tell of grave responsibilities. He 
 is a distinguished man in appearance and man 
 ner. No man would ever approach him and ask, 
 
 105 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 "Sir, are you anybody in particular?" ^f John 
 Mitchell made the best speech of the Meeting. 
 His voice is neither loud, high nor deep, but 
 it is so finely modulated and so vibrant with 
 feeling that it stills every buzzing whisper and 
 carries conviction home. A very brave and 
 manly man is John Mitchell. He has battles 
 in front of him, for his barque is not yet in 
 peaceful waters, but if he does as much in the 
 next ten years as he has in the past, he 11 anchor 
 for four years in the White House, if some of 
 you fellows do not look out ! He has made mis 
 takes, they say, but I do not remember just 
 what they are; yet when one thinks of the mobs 
 he has faced in their fury, not to mention that 
 five-days fusillade of Wayne MacVeagh, you 
 are astounded that he has not made more. Yet 
 he was born in Illinois ! 
 
 But here he sits, smiling, alert, poised, and 
 when he arises to speak he does not cough, 
 sputter, rant, harangue, scold, grope, nor 
 apologize, but proceeds with a fine and very 
 gentle reserve to speak of "the people whom 
 I have the honor to serve." He chooses his 
 words with care and marches them with pre- 
 
 106 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 cision, spacing each paragraph and packing 
 each pause with feeling. He says just enough 
 and sits down at a time when everybody wishes 
 he would go on. 
 
 My seat happened to be between that of the 
 Right Reverend Bishop Ethelbert Talbot of 
 the Episcopal Church and the Right Reverend 
 Bishop Holban of the Roman Catholic Church. 
 Whether this peculiar seating-arrangement was 
 the result of malice prepense, invidious and 
 sinister, planned and perpetrated by J. D. Jones, 
 Master of Ceremonies, or the work of the infal 
 lible dice, I cannot say. The genial toastmaster 
 spoke of the "three bishops we have with us," 
 and then referred to me as "The Bishop of all 
 Outsiders. " What the two sure-enough bishops 
 might have done had I not been between them, 
 no man can say, but as it was, amity and peace 
 prevailed. Both bishops were charming they 
 had left their bishop s voices at home, and we 
 conversed on the New Education and the 
 Brotherhood of Man. Both read the Choice 
 Stuff, and while I refrained from any reference 
 to Torquemada, Savonarola, Pope Alexander, 
 
 Borgia and Henry the Ate, they in turn had 
 
 107 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 only words of kindness for Goliath, and neither 
 asked where East Aurora really is, nor called 
 it "The Philippine Magazine." Outside of 
 their official capacity bishops are absolutely 
 unobjectionable. 
 
 Governor Pennypacker was present and made 
 a telling speech, although the suggestion that he 
 speak his speech, I prithee, into a phonograph 
 and send the record by express, should have 
 been followed. The Governor has a presence 
 like an observant thumb, and when he begins 
 to speak he simply clucks and gurgles like a 
 graphophone gone wrong and pushes out a few 
 falsetto notes in high C as an introduction. He 
 is the homeliest man in America, excepting 
 William Hawley Smith, and in point of pulchri 
 tude certainly pushes Hawley hard for first 
 place. The caricatures of him are all quite 
 complimentary. Yet when he gets a clutch on his 
 think-apparatus, you are amazed and delighted 
 to follow his wealth of allusion and the orderly 
 procession of his thought < But above all, 
 Pennypacker is an honest man, and God knows 
 there are not many of us. 
 Another great disappointment to me was S. S. 
 
 108 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 McClure, Limited, who strangely enough is n t, 
 and who added to the joy of the occasion a few 
 Irish bulls and some choice wit and eloquence. 
 If Col. Lamed of West Point gave us a taste of 
 his quality in a twenty-minute speech, wherein 
 he cut the introduction, got the range, and talked 
 right out of his heart, and therefore talked well. 
 Tf Dr. Shaefer, State Superintendent of Public 
 Instruction, made next to John Mitchell the 
 best speech of the evening. His theme was "The 
 Practical Education," and ye who read THE 
 PHILISTINE know the argument. It is not 
 covered by copyright; I did not invent it, and of 
 course I make no claim on Doctor Shaefer for 
 royalties. Shaefer is one of the living educators 
 of his day a man with much good cheer, sym 
 pathy plus, receptive to new ideas, with a mini 
 mum amount of pedagogic frills and a maximum 
 quantity of commonsense, a man who knows 
 children because he loves them. 
 Now be it known this was a "dry banquet," 
 and the first and only dry banquet where there 
 were over a hundred guests that I ever attended, 
 which speaks well for me or not, all according 
 
 to your point of view. There is an adage that a 
 
 109 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 dry banquet is like platonic love, and platonic 
 love is like playing poker with Confederate 
 money. Let the ribald ones pass! Do they not 
 also tell us that you cannot run a first-class hotel 
 without a bar ? 
 
 Rodents ! or words to that effect. 
 I have attended dozens of banquets, but at this 
 one of the I. C. S. there was an atmosphere, and 
 it was not an atmosphere of budge, booze and 
 tales tinged with saffron and stories verging on 
 gamboge & jt 
 
 The audience keys the speech of the speaker- 
 it is all a collaboration. A Clover Club Banquet 
 is a frumenti effervescence, a maudlin embrace 
 between Wit and the Widow Clicquot, and the 
 Widow, of course, comes off victorious, as 
 widows ever do. 
 
 But here there was a keen, high, rarified, intel 
 lectual atmosphere. Every man who stood on 
 his feet had to say something. The breath of 
 Minerva ruled the place, not the fumes of 
 Bacchus. And at the last what finer joy, next 
 to putting salt on the tail of an idea, than to 
 experience the fine intoxication that comes 
 from having the idea served up skillfully on 
 
 no 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 the oratorical toast ! ^f The audience keys the 
 atmosphere, and if you choose to say that the 
 speaker keys the audience, I 11 not quarrel with 
 you since every truth implies its contradiction. 
 But on this occasion the wit, wisdom and 
 spiritual fluidity of the event was supplied by 
 Thomas J. Foster, the country editor who 
 fifteen years ago conceived an Idea. 
 
 BE PATIENT WITH THE BOYS You ARE DEAL 
 ING WITH SOUL STUFF DESTINY WAITS JUST 
 AROUND THE CORNER. 
 
 How I Found My Brother 
 
 *^I7 ^OU see, it was about like this: I was 
 ^^ leven years old, going on twelve. Our 
 JL folks lived at the village of Hudson, 
 McLean County, ten miles from Bloomirigton, 
 which is in the State of Illinois. My father was 
 a doctor, and being a country doctor did not 
 roll in wealth any to speak of. In those days 
 every one in Illinois was poor, no matter how 
 much land he owned. However, we owned our 
 farm, had four horses, five cows, a dozen pigs 
 and a flock of hens. 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 There were always vegetables in the cellar, 
 smoked meat in the wood-shed, and pickled 
 beef in the kitchen. At the back door was a keg 
 of soft soap. In the garret where I slept, in the 
 winter the snow drifted cheerily in through the 
 cracks and covered the buffalo robes that 
 covered me. But I did n t lie awake thinking 
 about it country boys who work all day begin 
 to pound their ear as soon as they hit the pillow. 
 If I was the only boy and you know what that is 
 in a family where there are four big sisters! I 
 had to make the garden, milk the cows, bring 
 in wood and churn. Of course there was a lot 
 of fun about it all more than I knew of at the 
 time. In the winter I hunted rabbits with an old 
 army musket and brought home so much bunny 
 meat that the whole family went on a strike, 
 and declared I should study my books more 
 and not hunt rabbits quite so much. 
 In the spring and fall when the prairie ponds 
 were full of water, the wild ducks on their regu 
 lar trips north or south got stop-overs and 
 remained with us a few days thousands of 
 them and a few of them neglected to go on. 
 Ducks are harder to kill than rabbits. I used to 
 
 112 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 load the old musket up so heavy that when I 
 would fire it off, if I did not look out sharp, 
 I would get kicked end over end. Then I would 
 get up and look for ducks, and usually they 
 were flying away on the far and distant horizon, 
 as the poets say. 
 
 In winter I went to school. We used to play 
 "Anteny Over," with a yarn ball. That is, we 
 chose sides; one gang stood on one side of the 
 school-house and the other half on the other. 
 You yelled Anteny Over and threw the ball over 
 the school-house. The boy that caught it yelled 
 Anteny Over, but instead of throwing it, he 
 sneaked around the corner and soaked the first 
 fellow he saw, and usually the ball was soaked 
 in water, so when you got hit you knew it. Then 
 the fellow that was hit had to go around on the 
 other side. When the bell rang the side that had 
 the most men was the winner. 
 Then we played one-old-cat and three-cornered 
 cat. Saturdays there were boys playing ball on 
 the prairie back of the church all day, and if I 
 could sneak away I was usually one of the ball 
 players. I was a true Son of Swat. 
 This brought me many scoldings and a few 
 
 "3 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 mild lickings, because I neglected my work jfe 
 As a ball-player I was a bird I used to take a 
 piece of a flat board and when that yarn ball 
 came anywhere around, I gave it a wallop you 
 could have heard a mile. We pitched under 
 hand, and I could certainly do up the town on 
 pitching as well as crossing em out. I became 
 a three-cornered-cat fiend. 
 Everything that came on the first bound, I 
 gathered in; the flies 1 caught in my hat. When 
 my big sister played, she used to catch em in 
 her apron. Finally, I almost forgot how to curry 
 a horse, and the girls had to milk the cows, 
 carry in wood and hunt for the eggs, because I 
 was off playing ball. 
 
 Now, one day I saw in the "Weekly Panta- 
 graph," that a man calling himself the agent of 
 the Children s Aid Society of New York, was to 
 be in Bloomington the next week with twenty- 
 five children, and that respectable farmers and 
 such who wanted to adopt children should be 
 on hand and make their selection. 
 I spelled out that item four or five times, and 
 then carried it to my mother asking what it 
 
 meant. And she explained to me that these 
 114 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 children were orphans, and there were people 
 who had no children of their own, or not as 
 many as they wanted, who adopted them. 
 And then a great idea came to me I needed a 
 brother, and here was a chance to get one. The 
 three brothers I once had died while very young, 
 and although I could remember them but dimly, 
 there were three little mounds in the graveyard 
 that we used to visit on Sunday afternoons, that 
 kept their memory green. 
 
 When I suggested going down to Bloomington 
 and picking out a brother for myself, my mother 
 tried to laugh, but I saw the tears running down 
 her cheeks, and then she threw her apron over 
 her head and went out to bring the clothes in 
 off the line. 
 
 The next day I brought the subject up at the 
 table. Everybody smiled they thought it w r as 
 a fine joke. 
 
 Father concluded that we had all the children 
 he could feed, but I argued that I got fifty cents 
 a day when they were running the Brown corn- 
 sheller for driving on the horse-power, and in 
 harvest time I could get a dollar a day. If we 
 had another boy, I could work all the time and 
 
 "5 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 earn money and the other boy could do the 
 chores. "And give you time to play ball," 
 chimed in my big sister. 
 
 I loftily waived her remark, but clung to the 
 argument that I needed a brother. 
 Sis felt a little sorry for what she had said, so 
 she came over to my side and suggested that 
 these orphan children were sent out for a month 
 first, and then adopted if all parties were willing. 
 "Sent on suspicion," said father. 
 "It is better than the other way," I argued, 
 "because if you don t like em, you don t have 
 to keep em, and the other way you can t send 
 em back after they have been used. " 
 "The garden work is behind, you know, " I con 
 tinued, "and I can never do it alone." 
 There was a little more parley with instances 
 by father where orphan boys had set fire to 
 haystacks, turned the cows in the corn, stolen 
 chickens, and cooked them on wire fences by 
 making a fire beneath. 
 
 But Sis offset all this by naming three adopted 
 boys who not only worked well, but had joined 
 the Baptist Church and been baptized by cut 
 ting a hole in the ice in the creek, only a few 
 
 116 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 months before. ^[That settled it I was given 
 permission to go and pick out a boy. Father 
 and mother would make no promises if I 
 could get him on a month s trial, all right. 
 And right there I ceased all agitation and talked 
 of other things. I was afraid the permission 
 would be revoked. Not a peep did I give forth 
 on the subject of brothers. But I thought about 
 it all day and dreamed of it at night. I wanted 
 a brother who could work, who could fight and 
 who could play ball. 
 
 The day arrived when the orphans were to be 
 at the Ashley Tavern in Bloomington. 
 Did I say anything about it ? Not I ! 
 I was up at daylight, without being called. I 
 tried to eat breakfast, but had no appetite. So 
 I just made a bluff at it, and then sauntered out 
 into the garden and began to hoe. 
 Soon father took his saddle-bags and went off 
 to see patients. Mother began baking. The girls 
 started for school. 
 
 I ran to the barn, stood in the manger and put 
 a bridle on OF Molly and backed her out, first 
 fastening her colt in the box stall. I climbed on 
 
 her bare back. Instead of taking the road that 
 
 117 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 ran in front of the house, I cut across the fields 
 
 and struck the creek road a mile out of town , 
 
 Then I dug my heels into the old mare s sides 
 
 and gave her the gad. 
 
 I rode the ten miles in a little over an hour, 
 
 jumped off at the court house, tied the horse 
 
 and made for the Ashley Tavern. 
 
 I knew what I wanted. 
 
 I walked into the office, looked around and 
 
 asked for the orphans. 
 
 " Parlor up-stairs," said the clerk. 
 
 I climbed the stairs, two steps at a time and 
 
 entered the parlor. 
 
 It was not yet nine o clock in the morning, but 
 
 there the children were washed, dressed and 
 
 seated all around the walls of the room. 
 
 Several men and women were standing around, 
 
 looking at the children and talking. Two women 
 
 in black, and a man with long whiskers and 
 
 upper lip shaved, seemed to be in charge of the 
 
 orphans jfc ^ 
 
 "How old are you sonny," said an old man to 
 
 me, patting me on the head. 
 
 " Leven, going on twelve," I answered 
 
 " Can you work ? " 
 
 118 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 "I guess so," I answered. ^[He called his wife 
 over and they both looked at me earnestly jfc 
 Then the old man said to one of the widow 
 women in black, "We think we will take this 
 one," at the same time giving me another pat 
 on the head. 
 
 " I am already took, you 11 not get me," I roared, 
 "I m here to pick out a brother. I want a boy 
 that can work, and who can play ball!" 
 This centered attention on me. Most everybody 
 laughed, including several of the orphans. The 
 boys were dressed in gray and the girls in red. 
 They all seemed quite content not near as 
 miserable as I thought children should be who 
 had 110 parents. 
 
 I walked twice around the room looking at 
 these orphans, as I had looked at pigs at the 
 county fair. 
 
 None of them seemed to answer all were too 
 yellow, and several of them whispered together 
 and made fun of rne. I was in my bare feet and 
 they wore shoes and stockings. All at once I saw 
 in the corner a boy with tow-head and freckles. 
 He had settled down in the corner trying to hide. 
 
 He was so homely he was attractive. 
 
 119 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 I walked over to him, and asked, "Can you 
 work and play ball I want a brother!" 
 I did not say anything about fighting, for I had 
 suddenly noticed that he was a hunchback ^ 
 He just looked at me and gulped, scared like, 
 he was that embarrassed. 
 
 "I want a brother will you come with me and 
 be my brother ?" I asked. 
 
 I omitted the qualifications this time my heart 
 went out to this boy he seemed so scared and 
 half-sick. I could work, fight and play ball for 
 both e3& e& 
 
 "Is your name your name Mudsock?" he 
 whispered jt & 
 
 " No, I m Bert Hubbard, " I said. 
 "Are you relation of Si Mudsock ? " 
 "Nobody around us by that name," I answered. 
 If "Then I 11 go with you and be your brudder," 
 he answered. He stood up. He only came to my 
 shoulder. " I m fifteen," he said as if in apology. 
 "I m fifteen I m not sick I had spinal com 
 plaint but I m all over it now. I am strong 
 can work and I can play ball. " 
 I took him by the hand and led him to the 
 widow and said, " If you please, Missus, I 11 take 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 this one!" ^[Then the woman asked me who 
 I was, where I came from, who sent me, and 
 explained that if my parents wished to adopt a 
 boy, or to take one on probation, they must 
 come and sign the papers. 
 
 Just then in walked Uncle Elihu Rogers ^fc I 
 referred to him. Uncle Elihu assured them that 
 I was the son of Doctor Hubbard and that I 
 knew as much as my father, or thought I did. 
 All the time I held my boy tightly by the hand. 
 If It was finally agreed that if Uncle Elihu would 
 go out and get Dr. Crothers, and both of them 
 would sign for the boy, I could have him on a 
 month s trial, to be adopted then by my parents, 
 if they so desired. 
 
 Dr. Crothers came over, smiled, asked me a few 
 questions. He then gave me and my new brother 
 each ten cents, and signed the papers. 
 I walked out of the parlor rapidly, down the 
 stairs and over to the court-house, leading my 
 new-found brother. He carried a bundle tied up 
 in a big red handkerchief. 
 
 I unfastened OP Molly, climbed up on the hitch 
 ing rail, and jumped on her back. Then I held 
 out my hand, stiffened my foot, and up climbed 
 
 121 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 my brother. He was nimble and strong I felt 
 better <, & 
 
 As we jogged along I asked, "Why did you ask 
 me if my name was Mudsock ? " 
 "He s them an that had me last dopted nic 
 he lives near Peoria. Is that near here ? He used 
 me to bat up flies beat me, starved me, and 
 then when I ran away he tried to get me arrested. 
 He said I stole a horse ! " 
 "Did you?" I asked. 
 
 "Never, I just ran away and stole rides on the 
 railroad clear back to New York it took me 
 six weeks. There they put me in the Home and 
 brought me out west again to be dopted ^ I 
 do n t mind being dopted by you. I can work, 
 I can but I want to go to school a little, to read 
 and study and be a man. I like you but if Mud- 
 sock comes for me, what will you do ?" 
 "Kill him, "I answered. 
 
 Mother was just putting the dinner on when OP 
 Molly, Brudder and I reached the front gate & 
 
 THE month of probation past, and father 
 and mother straightway adopted Brudder, 
 all without any coercion from me. It was very 
 
 122 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 funny at first they thought it a calamity, then 
 they got to telling the neighbors how they sent 
 me after him. 
 
 The lad was alert, obedient, willing. He was 
 grateful for everything; whereas I was Grab- 
 heimer from Grabville. 
 
 Again and again my sisters would say to me, 
 "Now, why don t you try to be gentlemanly 
 like Brudder, and not hang your hat on the floor 
 and talk back. " 
 
 I had intended to select a boy who looked like 
 myself this being the highest type I could 
 imagine. Instead I had picked my opposite. I 
 was tall, slender, and had black hair and brown 
 eyes. Brudder was short, and a genuine blond. 
 I was saucy he was polite. Instead of picking 
 out the strongest and liveliest boy I could find, 
 I chose the smallest, the sickliest, the homeliest 
 one in the bunch. My judgment was in the ditch, 
 and I was carried away on the back of sympathy. 
 It was head against heart, and heart made a 
 home run. In spite of his physical disability, he 
 was very strong, and he could do fully as much 
 work as I. In his books he was a bit deficient, 
 
 but the girls taught him evenings, and in long 
 
 123 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 division I had to call upon him to help me out. 
 He used to hold the hank of yarn for mother to 
 wind and would do this without either snarling 
 the yarn or mother s temper jt Once I heard 
 mother say that Brudder was just like my 
 brother Charlie who died when he was nine 
 years old jfc & 
 
 We worked together, got jobs at the station 
 unloading lumber, drove on the horse-power 
 and sold corn-cobs to the section men for fuel. 
 Saturday afternoons we played ball. This was 
 Brudder s passion, as well as mine. We found 
 a big chunk of solid rubber on the railroad that 
 had served its purpose as a car-spring. Or did 
 we work it out of the car with a crow-bar ? I 
 really cannot say. But anyway, Brudder got 
 busy cutting out a solid rubber ball with his 
 knife. Very patiently did he work cutting and 
 paring. At last the ball was done. Oh, it was a 
 daisy ! With a round club you could knock it a 
 mile. We then quit playing three-cornered-cat 
 and Brudder showed us how to play baseball. 
 He sent away and got the "Rules." He was 
 always sending for catalogs and sample copies 
 
 of magazines. We made him captain of our 
 124 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 team, and when the Bloomington Giants came 
 up to play us, we beat them forty-nine to twenty- 
 three. We were making plans to go out as pro 
 fessionals when something terrible happened. 
 It was one Saturday afternoon. Brudder had 
 been with us just six months. He and I had dug 
 potatoes hard all the morning, and mother had 
 told us we could have the entire afternoon. We 
 were playing the "Invincibles" from the 
 Normal ^ ^t 
 
 Brudder was pitching, and the way he sent that 
 solid rubber spheroid over the plate and around 
 the plate was marvelous. He could throw a 
 curve that circled the batter s neck or nearly 
 so. The Invincibles were n t in it. They had a 
 cloth ball with a piece of rubber in the center, 
 but we kicked on this and insisted on our own 
 or. nothing. Things were coming our way jt I 
 was catching. The way I picked that ball right 
 off the wood was marvelous. 
 All at once I saw a strange man coming across 
 the diamond with a black-snake whip in his 
 hand. He was big and had red bushy whiskers. 
 Brudder saw him and turned pale he was so 
 scared that he just held the ball in his hand and 
 
 125 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 stood first on one foot, then on the other. I was 
 paralyzed jt jfc 
 
 The big man in his ragged, dusty clothes with 
 his black-snake whip was walking right toward 
 Brudder, yelling, "So I ve found you at last 
 I ve found you at last!" 
 
 Brudder ran out across the diamond toward 
 the field. The man followed after him. Suddenly 
 Brudder stopped his hand with the solid rub 
 ber ball shot up, over, around, his knee came 
 up to his chin and the ball shot forward ! 
 It caught the man square on the mouth jt He 
 dropped the whip, threw up his hands, reeled, 
 staggered and fell on his back, the blood stream 
 ing from his nose and mouth. 
 The crowd was around him in a minute. We 
 thought he was dead. 
 
 Father was sent for and came with his case of 
 instruments ready to cut off a leg, but before he 
 arrived some one had thrown a bucket of water 
 in the man s face. By this time he was sitting 
 up. He had spit out a mouthful of teeth and 
 was trying to talk, asking for that dam boy 
 who had tried to murder him, when he had n t 
 
 done nothing to nobody. 
 126 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 I began looking around for Brudder. He could 
 not be found. No one had seen him. We searched 
 the house and the barn. We looked in the wheat 
 bin and under the hay. Then we discovered that 
 our three-year-old bay colt was gone. A scrap 
 of paper in the oats measure told the tale. On it 
 was scrawled, "Dear Bert: If I killed Mudsock 
 they will hang me. If I did n t kill him he will 
 kill me, for he says I am his. I have to leave you. 
 When I score I 11 pay for the colt. I am not bad 
 God has forgotten me, that is all jfc Brudder." 
 It was a lonely household after Brudder had 
 gone. We thought he would be back in a few 
 days. We put a notice in the "Weekly Panta- 
 graph," but no one had seen my brother. One 
 of our neighbors once said to mother at church, 
 "So he stole your horse, did he they are all 
 alike!" And mother said something to the man 
 he did not soon forget. Sunday afternoons we 
 still went up to the graveyard, and I wondered 
 why there were not four mounds instead of three. 
 The graves kind of seemed very near, and dear 
 and close. 
 Four years passed, and I secured a job in 
 
 Chicago. I was as big as a man and felt as 
 
 127 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 big as one, even if I was only sixteen years 
 old. I was down home on a visit and a letter 
 came. I hold the letter now T in my hand as I 
 write. It is yellow and soiled, but still is legible. 
 Here is what it says: Dear Bert: "Here is a 
 draft for two hundred dollars to pay for the 
 colt. Give it to your father with my love. The 
 horse was worth the money to me, but I had 
 to sell him. I am secretary to the Manager of 
 the White Sox. I get twenty-five dollars a week. 
 I play shortstop. I got a walk to first, then I stole 
 second, and a small swat put me on third, and 
 I ll not die here. When I score you will hear 
 from me. The Great Umpire, I guess, has n t 
 entirely forgotten me. 
 
 Yours truly, 
 
 Brudder. " 
 
 I am fifty years old. Brudder is fifty-three. I 
 saw him last week when I lectured at the Acad 
 emy of Music in Philadelphia. He was right in 
 the front row, "rooting," as he expressed it 
 when he came up on the stage after the speil. 
 If "You look as if the Great Umpire was on 
 your side," I said, ^f "He is I am not rich but 
 
 I have all I need I get three thousand dollars a 
 128 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 year. Then I have my daughter, and any man 
 with such a daughter is rich. You know I am 
 superintendent for the A. J. Reach Co., the 
 folks who make the baseballs. " 
 Brudder is a trifle bald, but his face is the same 
 that I saw at the Ashley Tavern, only without 
 the pallor. Men who love baseball seem to keep 
 young, they are always boys. With Brudder 
 was his grown-up daughter, a beautiful girl a 
 head taller than he. She called me Uncle. 
 
 SWOLLEN FORTUNES ARE NOT so DANGEROUS 
 As A SWOLLEN NAVY 
 
 A Peace Precedent 
 
 THE coast line between Canada and the 
 United States, from the St. Lawrence 
 River to Lake Superior, is about two 
 thousand miles. 
 
 In the year Eighteen Hundred and Twelve, 
 there were forty-six forts, big and little, on the 
 United States side, and about the same number 
 frowned at us from Canada. 
 At Fort Niagara alone there were at one time 
 
 six thousand troops. Altogether we had on the 
 
 129 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 Great Lakes over a hundred craft devoted to 
 the art of fighting this in the interest of peace. 
 H In one little battle we had with our British 
 cousins, on Lake Erie, Commodore Perry, a 
 rash youth of twenty-seven, captured six British 
 ships and killed three hundred men. A little 
 before this the British destroyed ten ships for 
 us and killed two hundred Americans. 
 After the War of Eighteen Hundred and Twelve 
 was ended and peace was declared, both sides 
 got busy, very busy, strengthening the forts and 
 building war ships. 
 
 At Watertown, Conneaut, Erie, Port Huron, 
 Cleveland and Detroit were shipyards where 
 hundreds of men were working night and day 
 building war ships. Not that war was imminent 
 but the statesmen of the time said there was 
 nothing like "preparedness. " In Canada things 
 were much the same, and there were threats 
 that Perry s famous message, "We have met 
 the enemy and they are ours," would soon be 
 reversed ^ ** 
 
 Suddenly, but very quietly, two men in Wash 
 ington got together and made an agreement. 
 
 One man was acting Secretary of State, Richard 
 130 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 Rush of Philadelphia. The other was Charles 
 Bagot, Minister to the United States from Eng 
 land jt Rush was of Quaker parentage, and 
 naturally, was opposed to the business of war. 
 If Bagot had seen enough of fighting to know it 
 was neither glorious nor amusing. 
 Rush wrote out a memorandum of agreement 
 which he headed AN ARRANGEMENT. 
 The document is written on one side of a single 
 sheet of paper and is dated April Twenty-eight, 
 Eighteen Hundred and Seventeen. Here is a 
 copy: 
 
 " 1. The Naval Forces henceforth to be main 
 tained upon the Great Lakes shall be confined 
 to the following vessels on each side : 
 "2. On Lake Ontario one vessel, not to exceed 
 one hundred tons burden, carrying not more 
 than twenty men and one eighteen - pound 
 cannon jfc jt 
 
 "3. On the Upper Lakes two vessels, of same 
 burden, and armed in a like way. 
 "4. On Lake Champlain one vessel of like 
 size and armament. 
 
 "5. All other armed vessels to be at once dis 
 mantled, and no other vessel of war shall be 
 
 131 
 
HEAL TH AND WEA L T H 
 
 built or armed along the St. Lawrence River 
 or on the Great Lakes. " 
 
 This agreement has been religiously kept for 
 ninety-one years. Its effect was to stop work at 
 once on the fortifications, and cause disarma 
 ment along the Great Lakes. 
 So far as we know the agreement will continue 
 for all time. Both parties are satisfied, and in 
 fact, so naturally has it been accepted, very few 
 people know of its existence. 
 Here is an example that our friends at The 
 Hague might well emphasize. If those forts on 
 the frontier had been maintained, and had the 
 ships of war continued to sail up and down, it 
 would have been a positive miracle if there had 
 not been fighting. 
 
 Probably they would have forced us into a war 
 with England before this. We have had several 
 disputes with Canada when it would have been 
 very easy to open hostilities if the tools had been 
 handy. Men who tote pistols find reasons for 
 using them, and the nations that have big 
 armies will test their use when excuse offers. 
 
 132 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 THE civilized earth is practically parceled 
 out among nine Great Nations. These 
 nations are The United States of America, 
 England, Germany, France, Russia, Italy, 
 Austria, Spain and Turkey. 
 Each of these nations keeps a large standing 
 army. The United States has the smallest army 
 and Russia the largest. We also have more food 
 and Russia the least. Twice in ten years we have 
 fed her. 
 
 In round numbers these nine great powers take 
 and constantly keep four million men from 
 useful production. Including those who are 
 working in shops and factories, employed in 
 the creation of army supplies there are five mill 
 ion people, of the very flower and pick of the 
 world, engaged in military duty. 
 Let the further fact be noted that where a man 
 is taken from useful production, some one has 
 to work to support him. 
 
 The worst of war or war service is that the 
 soldier is a ruined man. William T. Stead says, 
 "Four out of five of all English soldiers who 
 serve for two years or more are tainted by 
 venereal disease. " 
 
 133 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 To a great degree population is reproduced by 
 the weak, the old and the unfittest. 
 The most awful feature of war is not the loss 
 of life on the field of battle or death in the 
 hospitals, but it is that the men who return, 
 come back demoralized by disease and trans 
 mit disease and the tendencies of degeneration 
 to the unborn. 
 
 Fear, greed and vanity are the three things 
 which stand in the way of disarmament. But 
 the thinking people of the world are beginning 
 to see that the perpetuity of the race demands 
 the abolition of war. 
 
 If individuals cannot agree we do not allow 
 them to get out in the street and battle with 
 each other. 
 
 That might prove which was the stronger man 
 but it would not prove who was right in the 
 question at issue. Justice is not to be reached 
 through violence. 
 
 We elect supervisors to look after the affairs of 
 each county, and if counties disagree they find 
 their remedy in the state courts. 
 If states disagree they carry the case to the 
 
 United States Court. 
 134 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 But if countries disagree we return to violence 
 and straightway destroy life and property in 
 order that equity may reign. 
 Among all savage tribes there is a goodly degree 
 of consideration for the individual members of 
 the tribe, a certain standard of justice and 
 ethics. The American Indians do not maltreat 
 their women, nor abuse their children. In fact 
 corporal punishment is looked upon with great 
 disfavor. Savages have a Golden Rule, too ^t 
 But it applies only to members of the family or 
 tribe, just as our Golden Rule does not apply to 
 outside nations. My plea is for a Golden Rule 
 that will apply not only to our own country, not 
 only to Christendom, but to all the world. 
 The absurdity of avowed violence between 
 nations that clamorously proclaim themselves 
 "Christians" is too evident to discuss. 
 If two countries can make an "arrangement" 
 limiting the matter of armament and this 
 arrangement holds for a hundred years, cannot 
 nine countries do the same ? All that is then 
 needed is a few soldiers to do police duty. 
 Nations cannot afford to be savages any more 
 than individuals. 
 
 135 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 THE GUINEA FEATHER SHOULD BE THE 
 NATIONAL FLOWER 
 
 The Guinea Hens 
 
 ABOUT a year ago I reprinted in these 
 columns a paragraph from the London 
 Pall Mall Gazette, as follows : " You can 
 join the American Academy of Immortals on 
 payment of two guineas. This guarantees your 
 immortality for ninety-nine years with privilege 
 of renewal. Our Yankee brothers are a strange 
 and gullible people. " Well, a few T weeks later a 
 man from Kalamazoo wrote me thus: "I want 
 you to enroll my name in the American Acad 
 emy of Immortals and in payment I send you 
 two guineas. " 
 
 There was no money in the letter, but that after 
 noon a box came by express containing two 
 guinea hens. 
 
 Would n t that give you cold feet ? 
 One of the guinea hens was a rooster. 
 But which one I didn t know, excepting that 
 one was a bit more pompous than the other and 
 had more to say. And this, I assumed, was Mr. 
 
 Guineahen > > 
 136 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 The guinea pig isn t a pig and doesn t come 
 from Guinea. 
 
 The guinea fowl does being a partially domes 
 ticated partridge, prairie-chicken or sage-hen 
 of the Guinea jungle. 
 
 Wild birds and wild animals mate domesti 
 cate them and they become promiscuous. I do 
 not know why this is, but it does seeni as if 
 civilization were immoral. Guineas mate and 
 are true and loyal until death do them part ^ 
 These two guineas the Michigan man sent me 
 wore tailor-made suits of faultless fit. 
 I sent the guineas up to the Roycroft farm so to 
 keep the hawks away. 
 
 When a guinea sees a hawk or any big bird 
 flying around, he gives the alarm, and all the 
 fowls but the guineas scoot for cover Jt, The 
 guinea just flies up on the gate and shoots forth 
 a torrent of Billingsgate defiance. No bird that 
 wears feathers has a vocabulary equal to the 
 guinea it is so profane that it is unprintable. 
 Epithet, ridicule, sarcasm and cuss-words are 
 sent forth in rapid fire. When a guinea is a little 
 excited you can hear him a mile. As before 
 intimated it is Mr. Guineahen who makes most 
 
 137 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 of the noise, but his wife is a good imitator, and 
 she always echoes the sentiments of her liege 
 political, social, religious. On the subject of 
 hawks, weasels, skunks and strange cats, old 
 Mr. and Mrs. Guinea are absolutely one. On 
 non-essentials they occasionally differ, and 
 exhibit these differences as to what constitutes 
 wit by many interesting little physical culture 
 exhibitions jfc jt 
 In other words, they fight. 
 But with guineas a foreign disturbance always 
 makes peace at home. 
 
 The guinea has surpassed man in this he has 
 abolished fear. He sounds warning notes, but 
 as for himself, he resembles Fuzzy Wuzzy, his 
 former owner, and doesn t give a dam. 
 Mr. Guinea is boss of the barn-yard. Even a 
 game bird considers discretion the better part 
 of valor. A guinea will tackle an English bull 
 dog. If the dog knew his power he might win, 
 or at least get a slice of the gate receipts, but 
 when a guinea begins to say things at a bull 
 dog or any dog for that matter that dog 
 stipulates all the facts concerning his pedigree 
 
 to be as stated, and hikes. 
 138 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 About June one of our guineas disappeared. 
 The other one used to come around, lonesome 
 like, just a-wearying for his mate. He would fly 
 up on the ridge of the barn and call and call. 
 We felt awful sorry for him. We thought his 
 mate must have been killed or stolen. 
 But one day, would you believe it, I saw those 
 two guineas out in the stubble, a half mile from 
 the barn. They were cooing away, chuckling, 
 clucking and seemingly polishing up their 
 vocabularies. 
 
 I was that rejoiced that I went right out to see 
 them. As I approached I saw a brown moving 
 mass close to the ground all around them. 
 This mass was baby guinea hens. There were 
 four thousand of them ! 
 
 As I approached, Mr. Guineahen gave a cluck 
 and yelled, "Low bridge!" and the little ones 
 disappeared as if my old friend Kellar were in 
 charge of the show. 
 
 I stood still and in about five minutes Mr. 
 Guineahen gave another Number Six cluck and 
 shouted, "All safe let her go ! " and the ground 
 was alive with the guinea chicks. 
 They were little brown, fluffy things about as 
 
 139 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 big as what the girls call "a spool of cotton," 
 the kind that used to cost us five cents, but 
 which now is six. 
 
 I watched them for an hour. Mr. Guineahen 
 kept circling round and round the brood talking 
 in a monotone to himself. I never heard such 
 boasting and bragging! He scouted race suicide 
 and flouted Malthus. 
 
 "What this country needs is more guineas," 
 he declared in a quiet cackle. All the time he 
 watched the sky for hawks, and hunted for seeds 
 and bugs, and these he passed right over to his 
 wife and family. 
 
 He was the busiest and happiest bird I ever 
 saw. Toward sundown he led his picnic party 
 over to the bushes, and I saw Mr. Guineahen 
 sit down close to his mate and the little ones 
 nestle under them for warmth and shelter. We 
 read about how two thousand years ago "a hen 
 spreadeth her wings and gathereth her young. " 
 But in this brooding business Mr. Guinea is 
 just as clever and reliable as Mrs. Guinea, and 
 the little ones make no distinction. 
 It is a wise guinea chick that knows its own 
 
 mother jt jt 
 140 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 It must have been a month before I saw our 
 guineas again. This time they came right into 
 the barn-yard the father and mother, and the 
 eighteen little ones with red feet and bills. They 
 were about as big as Indiana quails. All were 
 exactly alike, very well disciplined; they moved 
 in a solid flock. 
 
 Mr. Guinea fluttered about, circled his family 
 and called loudly for cracked corn and wheat. 
 Tf We made haste to fill the order, and woe 
 betide the Plymouth Rock that dare come near 
 until those twenty guineas had enough. 
 Having eaten, the old ones flew up on the fence 
 a five-board affair, horse high, pig tight and 
 bull strong. 
 
 The old guineas walked along on the top board 
 and the little ones, one at a time, taclded the 
 lower board, which was about a foot from the 
 ground ^ , 
 
 The second night the little ones tried the second 
 board and they spread out in a straight line, 
 eighteen strong, with red beaks all pointed one 
 way e2* # 
 The third day they tried the third rail, and at 
 
 the end of the week they had all conquered the 
 
 141 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 top board. ^fA week later I saw the whole 
 bunch sitting right on the ridge of the barn, 
 singing out of tune in a discordant chorus, but 
 very happy. Every night at sunset they sat on the 
 ridge-pole and sang vespers. In the morning they 
 did their matins from their roost in the trees. 
 Tf Last night I was awakened about two o clock 
 by the guineas they were all singing, calling 
 and shouting at once. I was wondering what it 
 was all about when I heard Ali B aba s voice in 
 a loud whisper, " Git up quick don t you hear 
 the guineas, they are yelling for god-sake ! Some 
 thing is wrong!" 
 
 I slid out of bed, jumped into my trousers, and 
 got out of doors. It was very dark. 
 "The trouble is in the chicken house, I reckon ! " 
 said Baba ^t We made for the poultry house. 
 As we approached I saw the door was open. A 
 man sprang out and ran past me. I made a grab 
 for him, but missed. Baba and I both dashed 
 after him; we might have captured him, if Ali 
 hadn t caught the clothes line under his chin 
 and been sent to grass ^t As he went down he 
 said something almost as bad as that which the 
 
 guineas were saying from the treetops. 
 142 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 The dark figure we were following tumbled over 
 the fence and disappeared in the corn. 
 And all the time the guineas shouted. 
 We got a lantern, and found a bag full of some 
 thing; I cut the string and six of my best Ply 
 mouth Rocks flew out of that bag, which the 
 Mudsock had gotten ready to carry away. 
 We went out under the trees where the guineas 
 were roosting and I heard Mr. Guinea shout 
 "All safe everybody to bed let er go!" 
 The discord ceased. And all around was the 
 great, dark, quiet, all-enfolding night, the silence 
 broken only by the gentle chirrup of the crickets. 
 
 You CAN SEND A BOY TO COLLEGE BUT You 
 CANNOT MAKE HIM THINK 
 
 Anent University Training 
 
 ^"^HE Middle West, with its semi-pioneer 
 
 times, supplied exactly the right envi- 
 
 JL ronment for the evolution of a very 
 
 strong type of man. 
 
 There was toil, hardship, difficulty, with a strict 
 
 necessity for economy of time and materials: 
 
 143 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 and there was also encouragement and a rich 
 reward for the men who would work. It was an 
 atmosphere of effort, invention, adjustment- 
 readjustment. 
 
 Paul Morton, man of action and man of power, 
 brought up in Nebraska, and graduating at the 
 University of Hard Knocks, is as good a speci 
 men of the new genus, as I can now recall. He 
 has health, enthusiasm, courage, and the fine 
 fusing and mixing qualities that mark him as 
 a man among men. Difficulty does not daunt 
 him, nor is he appalled when some one says, 
 "This has never been done before!" His busi 
 ness, like the true railroad man that he is, has 
 been to do that one thing the thing that had 
 never been done before. 
 
 Of all men, the builder and organizer of rail 
 roads, must be a man who can abandon a good 
 plan for a better one. A good railroad manager 
 throws an engine on the scrap-heap every 
 morning before breakfast. Appliances are no 
 sooner invented arid tried before they must be 
 replaced by better ones. And so the railroad 
 builder must be a man of great fluidity of spirit; 
 
 quick to see a betterment, and firm in his 
 144 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 decision to utilize it. Moreover, he must know 
 humanity the needs of the public something 
 of every business and season all of his work 
 with courtesy and enough of beauty to make 
 it acceptable. 
 
 And this is Paul Morton! Going into the Bur 
 lington & Missouri employ as errand boy at 
 fifteen; rising in a year to clerkship; next head- 
 clerk of his office; private secretary to a Divison 
 Superintendent; Assistant General Freight 
 Agent; General Passenger Agent; Traffic Man 
 ager; Second- Vice-President and practically 
 manager of one of the greatest railroad systems 
 in the world. A member of President Roosevelt s 
 Cabinet jfc jfc 
 
 He was right in line for the presidency of the 
 Santa Fe, and would have landed the office, 
 had he not chosen to take control of a propo 
 sition that offered bigger difficulties. 
 So much for Paul Morton. And now behold this 
 man, strong as he is, dodging behind a super 
 stition, unable to face a popular fallacy, side 
 stepping a pedagogic bugaboo, hugging the 
 ropes, and crying for quarter. 
 
 "What do you think of college education?" 
 
 145 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 asked an editor of Paul Morton. And Paul 
 Morton ducks, courtesies and with a finger in 
 his mouth, says, "It is the regret of my life that 
 I did not go to college!" 
 
 Fie upon you, Paul Morton, why didn t you 
 say, "Polly wants a cracker," or something 
 equally startling and original ? You know per 
 fectly well, Paul, that your going into that office 
 as an errand boy, was exactly the start in life 
 that your needs required. You know, too, that 
 you have all the education you can carry all 
 you can possibly use in your business. 
 Why twitter twaddle and sputter the trite ?Why 
 not say that college education is good for those 
 who need it, and let it go at that ! 
 Or say, I see when you expressed regret that 
 you had not gone to college and been landed 
 in a railroad office at twenty-two, too proud to 
 scrub, too smart to hustle, and too old to quickly 
 adapt yourself to the letter file, you were pass 
 ing us out a subtle one, soaked in tincture of 
 iron I see ! 
 
 Wit 
 
 146 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 JUST AS LONG AS THE STATE SETS AN EXAMPLE 
 OF KILLING ITS ENEMIES, INDIVIDUALS WILL 
 OCCASIONALLY KILL THEIRS. 
 
 The Death Penalty 
 
 AMONG the pleasant duties of the Presi 
 dent of France is that of signing all 
 death warrants issued in the Republic. 
 This is well. ^President Fallieres says, how 
 ever, that there should be a slight change in the 
 arrangement, to-wit : The judge who sentences 
 the man to die, should also act as his execu 
 tioner. ^[ President Fallieres knows full well that 
 if this were the case it would do awaj with 
 legalized homicide. He says, "I will not ask 
 another man to do that which I myself am 
 unwilling to do. I will do no murder even for 
 the State." 
 
 Therefore, President Fallieres is commuting 
 all death penalties to life imprisonment, and 
 where there is a ghost of doubt about the man s 
 guilt, he pardons him. He says, "France must 
 learn to take care of her criminals without kill 
 ing them. It s a poor use to make of a man to 
 
 147 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 take his life it is an acknowledgment of our 
 inefficiency. Tf Even a life sentence should hold 
 out to the man the promise that twenty years of 
 good behavior and useful work will make him 
 free. Penology must be made a science to the 
 end that when we imprison a man we do it for 
 his own good, with the intent of turning out a 
 better man than we took in. ^f Just as long as 
 the State sets an example of killing its enemies, 
 individuals will occasionally kill theirs. 
 Two hundred years ago when England had 
 forty-six offenses punishable by death there was 
 very much more crime than now. Crime has 
 decreased as laws have become more humane. 
 There is no such thing as a criminal class jfi 
 Murder exists first in the heart; and it often 
 exists in the hearts of very good people. When 
 the State ceases to breed murder in the minds 
 of her citizens, they will cease not only the kill 
 ing of each other, but the desire to kill. 
 Judicial murders are worse than those done in 
 passion they are so atrociously premeditated, 
 so deliberately planned. No excuse can be made 
 for them, beyond precedent. 
 
 The sentiments of the people are opposed to 
 
 148 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 this legal killing business, and this is why so 
 many murder trials turn themselves into a farce. 
 When there is to be an electrocution everybody 
 tries to get out of the job, and the deadly current 
 is always turned on by a man at a distance from 
 the scene, who salves his conscience by pretend 
 ing to think he is turning on the lights, and in 
 many cases the executioner is a convict, work 
 ing under orders. 
 
 President Fallieres refusal to either act as an 
 executioner, or to order others to take human 
 life, is a manifestation of the Better Spirit of the 
 
 Now let enlightened America by her judges and 
 governors do the same. Our President and every 
 Governor of every state is a negative party to 
 these judicial killings. They know what is being 
 done and by lifting a finger they can stop it,just 
 as President Fallieres h is done & Let them 
 commute every death sentence to imprison 
 ment for life, all without argument or question 
 and they will thereby express the Spirit of the 
 Times, and Father Antic, the Law, who always 
 lags behind, will manicure his claws. 
 
 THOU SHALT NOT KILL! 
 
 149 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 POISE is THE STRENGTH OF BODY AND 
 STRENGTH OF MIND TO CONTROL YOUR 
 SYMPATHY AND YOUR KNOWLEDGE. 
 
 The Ability To Say No 
 
 NATURE makes the crab-apple, but 
 without man s help she could never 
 evolve the pippin. 
 
 Nature makes the man, but unless the man 
 takes charge of himself, he will never evolve 
 into a Master. He will remain a crab-apple man. 
 e^t So nature requires men to co-operate with 
 her. And of course in this statement I fully 
 admit that man is but a higher manifestation 
 of Nature. 
 
 Nature knows nothing of time time is for 
 men. And the fleeting quality of time is what 
 makes it so valuable to us. If life were without 
 limit, we would do nothing. Life without death 
 would be appalling. It would be a day without 
 end a day with no night of rest jfc Death is 
 change and death is a manifestation of life. 
 ^[ We are allowed to live during good behavior, 
 and this is what leads men toward truth, jus 
 tice and beauty, for these things mean an 
 150 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 extension of time, and happiness instead of 
 misery jt jfc 
 
 We work because life is short, and through 
 this work we evolve. The Master is a man who 
 has worked wisely and intelligently, and 
 through habit has come to believe in himself. 
 ^f Men are strong just in proportion as they 
 have the ability to say NO, and stand by it. 
 Look back on your own life what was it that 
 caused you the most worry, wear, vexation, 
 loss and pain ? Was n t it because you failed 
 to say no at certain times and stick to it ? 
 This vice of the inability to say NO comes 
 from lack of confidence in yourself. 
 You think too much of the opinions of other 
 people and not enough of your own. "Put your 
 name right here it is only a matter of form, 
 you know just between friends." 
 And you sign your name. The years go by and 
 there comes a time when you pay for your 
 weakness in blood and tears. 
 And the real fact is that the good opinion of 
 the best people comes from your saying NO, 
 and not weakly yielding and putting your name 
 
 to a subscription, a contract or an acknowledg- 
 
 151 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 ment which was none of yours, ^f Cultivate self- 
 confidence and learn to say NO. It is a great 
 thing to be a man, but it is a finer thing to be 
 a master Master of yourself. 
 
 THE MAN WHO NEEDS No SUPERVISION 
 HAS ALREADY SUCCEEDED 
 
 The Hundred Point Man 
 
 THE other day I wrote to a banker- 
 friend inquiring as to the responsi 
 bility of a certain person. The answer 
 came back, thus: "He is a Hundred-Point man 
 in everything and anything he undertakes." I 
 read the telegram and then pinned it up over 
 my desk where I could see it. That night it sort 
 of stuck in my memory. I dreamed of it. 
 The next day I showed the message to a fellow 
 I know pretty well, and said, "I d rather have 
 that said of me than to be called a great this 
 or that." If Oliver Wendell Holmes has left on 
 record the statement that you could not throw 
 a stone on Boston Common without caroming 
 
 on three poets, two essayists, and a playwright. 
 152 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 ^Hundred-Point men are not so plentiful ^ 
 If A Hundred -Point man is one who is true 
 to every trust; who keeps his word; who is 
 loyal to the firm that employs him; who does 
 not listen for insults nor look for slights; who 
 carries a civil tongue in his head; who is polite 
 to strangers, without being "fresh;" who is 
 considerate towards servants; who is moderate 
 in his eating and drinking; who is willing to 
 learn; who is cautious and yet courageous. 
 Hundred-Point men may vary much in ability, 
 but this is always true they are safe men to 
 deal with, whether drivers of drays, motor men, 
 clerks, cashiers, engineers or presidents of rail 
 roads <$> < 
 
 Paranoics are people who are suffering from 
 fatty enlargement of the ego ^ They want the 
 best seats in the synagogue, they demand bou 
 quets, compliments, obeisance, and in order to 
 see what the papers will say next morning, they 
 sometimes obligingly commit suicide. 
 The Paranoic is the antithesis of the Hundred- 
 Point man ^ The Paranoic imagines he is 
 being wronged, that some one has it in for him 
 
 and that the world is down on him. He is given 
 
 153 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 to that which is strange, peculiar, uncertain, 
 
 eccentric and erratic. 
 
 The Hundred-Point man may not look just 
 
 like all other men, or dress like them, or talk 
 
 like them, but what he does is true to his own 
 
 nature. He is himself. 
 
 He is more interested in doing his work than 
 
 in what people will say about it. He does not 
 
 consider the gallery. He acts his thought and 
 
 thinks little of the act. 
 
 I never knew a Hundred-Point man who was 
 
 not one brought up from early youth to make 
 
 himself useful, and to economize in the matter 
 
 of time and money. 
 
 Necessity is ballast. 
 
 The Paranoic, almost without exception, is 
 
 one who has been made exempt from work. He 
 
 has been petted, waited upon, coddled, cared 
 
 for, laughed at and chuckled to. 
 
 The excellence of the old-fashioned big family 
 
 was that no child got an undue amount of 
 
 attention jt The antique idea that the child 
 
 must work for his parents until the day he was 
 
 twenty-one was a deal better for the youth than 
 
 to let him get it into his head that his parents 
 154 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 must work for him. ^f Nature intended that we 
 should all be poor that we should earn our 
 bread every day before we eat it. 
 When you find the Hundred-Point man you 
 will find one who lives like a person in moder 
 ate circumstances, no matter what his finances 
 are. Every man who thinks he has the world 
 by the tail and is about to snap its demnition 
 head off for the delectation of mankind, is 
 unsafe, no matter how great his genius in the 
 line of specialties. 
 
 The Hundred-Point man looks after just one 
 individual, and that is the man under his own 
 hat; he is one who does not spend money until 
 he earns it; who pays his way; who knows that 
 nothing is ever given for nothing; who keeps 
 his digits off other people s property. When he 
 does not know what to say, why, he says noth 
 ing, and when he does not know what to do, 
 does not do it & We should mark on moral 
 qualities not merely mental attainment or pro 
 ficiency, because in the race of life only moral 
 qualities count. We should rate on judgment, 
 application and intent jfc Men by habit and 
 nature who are untrue to a trust, are danger- 
 
 155 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 ous just in proportion as they are clever. I 
 would like to see a university devoted to turn 
 ing out safe men instead of merely clever ones. 
 How would it do for a college to give one 
 degree, and one only, to those who are worthy, 
 the degree of H. P. ? 
 
 Would it not be worth striving for, to have a 
 college president say of you, over his own sig 
 nature: "He is a Hundred-Point man in every 
 thing and anything that he undertakes!" 
 
 ONLY BY HELPING OTHERS CAN You HELP 
 YOURSELF 
 
 The Zeitgeist 
 
 MAURICE MAETERLINK says 
 that one bee can never make honey, 
 for the reason that a bee alone has 
 no intelligence. Bees succeed only by working 
 for the good of other bees. A single bee, sepa 
 rated from the hive, is absolutely helpless, yet 
 a hive of bees has a very great and well-defined 
 purpose and intelligence. 
 And this intelligence, Maeterlink calls, "The 
 
 Spirit of the Hive." 
 156 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 Occasionly a bee will go off to the fields and 
 come back gorged with honey, bringing noth 
 ing for the common stock, and this bee is 
 quickly killedstung to death by a self-ap 
 pointed committee who sit on the case, and 
 seem to consider that any bee that loses sight 
 of the Spirit of the Hive and works for private 
 good is sick, criminally insane, and cannot be 
 allowed longer to cumber good space. 
 Now it is quite probable that if we could com 
 municate with a bee, and ask it why it makes 
 honey, it would say, "I make honey because I 
 choose to," just as Schopenhauer s boulder 
 that rolled down hill explained that it did so 
 because it found a peculiar pleasure and satis 
 faction in so doing. 
 
 Men think they do certain things because they 
 choose, but the actual fact is they simply suc 
 cumb to the strongest attraction and call it 
 choice jt Is n t a man under the domain of 
 Natural Law just as much as a bee ? I think 
 so. The recognition of this great truth con 
 cerning the Solidarity of the Race, marks a 
 mental epoch in the onward and upward 
 march jt & 
 
 157 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 With the bee, there is seemingly no evolution. 
 The Spirit of the Hive is fixed within narrow 
 limits e^fc < 
 
 With man, the Spirit of the Hive, or if you pre 
 fer, the Spirit of the Times, or the "Zeitgeist," 
 is a constantly changing spiritual entity. 
 Ancient Athens was made and controlled by 
 fourteen men. But these masterly men*lid not 
 represent the "Zeitgeist," nor were they strong 
 enough to form the Spirit of the Hive. They 
 kept the many in subjection by the seductive 
 ecclesiasticon by shows, spectacles, pomps, 
 processions, and when danger at home became 
 imminent, the mob was diverted by a foreign 
 war jt jfc 
 
 As long as the actual "Zeitgeist" of Greece 
 was saturated with religious fanaticism, super 
 stition, a childish tantrum tendency, a Harry 
 Thaw and Harry Lehr propensity, and an Old 
 Harry atmosphere, the fourteen great men of 
 Athens who for just thirty-six years sat on the 
 lid, were in a very dangerous position. 
 The miracle is that they kept the beast down 
 and under long enough to build the temples 
 
 and embellish them with undying works of art. 
 158 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 But they were allowed to do their work only by 
 pandering to the hoi polloi idea that the statues 
 represented the gods in Elysium, and that the 
 Pantheon was for the habitation of Zeus Him 
 self. To find the Deity in yourself by producing 
 Art, was a truth the many could not compre 
 hend, and when Praxitiles hinted at it, his 
 temerity cost him his life. 
 
 When Phidias placed his own portrait with 
 that of Pericles upon a sacred shield, the glory 
 that was Greece got its death sentence. 
 The mumble of discontent grew into a roar. 
 Socrates was passed the hemlock, and all of the 
 fourteen actual gods who made the glory were 
 either killed or ostracized robbed, disgraced, 
 undone ^fc ^ 
 
 The "Zeitgeist" had its way. Socrates, Euclid, 
 Pericles, Phidias, Herodotus, Empedocles and 
 Sophocles no more represented the Spirit of 
 the Hive that existed at Athens, than Jesus 
 represented the "Zeitgeist" of Jerusalem in 
 the age of Augustus. 
 
 Savonarola, Tyndale, Ridley, Huss, Wyclif, 
 George Wishart, were martyrs, all to the Spirit 
 of the Times. 
 
 159 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 Yet Socrates, Jesus, Savonarola, Old John 
 Brown, and none of Freedom s illustrious dead 
 died in vain. They died that we might live; and 
 as a single drop of analine will tint an entire 
 cask of water, so has the blood of martyrs 
 tinted the Spirit of the Times and given us a 
 peculiar and different "Zeitgeist" from that 
 which we would otherwise have had. 
 The death of Lincoln created a sentiment 
 which the living man could not, and which 
 in time brought the entire South to an acknowl 
 edgment of the righteousness of his cause. 
 The "Zeitgeist" riot being able to understand 
 or assimilate the doctrines of the seers and 
 prophets, killed them. The man who preaches 
 doctrines or performs deeds contrary to the 
 Spirit of the Times is ever regarded as the 
 enemy of the State, a menace to society, and 
 is snuffed out. Whether he be above the law 
 or below it, matters not: the saviours of the 
 world have always been hanged between 
 thieves, ^f This full, frank, free expression which 
 we now enjoy is the precious legacy of a blood 
 stained past. And it is for us, the living, to see 
 that these dead shall not have died in vain. 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 Familiarity breeds indifference, if not con 
 tempt, and whether there be men now living 
 as great as those fourteen in the time of Peri 
 cles, it would be difficult to determine. 
 But this we know we have a Spirit of the 
 Hive now that is making honey honestly, and 
 that too, of a satisfactory quality, while the 
 honey of Hymettus was made by that immortal 
 fourteen who worked by stealth, plot, plan and 
 connivance. 
 
 Our Spirit of the Times is of a kind unequalled 
 in history. We have thousands upon thousands 
 of men and women who are thinking great and 
 noble thoughts and doing great and splendid 
 work ,^t < 
 
 Our "Zeitgeist" is sensitive, restless, alert, 
 impressionable, progressive, and is making 
 for righteousness. The man who can imagine 
 a better religion than now exists, is allowed to 
 throw his vision on the screen, and he who can 
 imagine a better government than we now 
 have, is not hanged for his pains, but is 
 allowed to express his dream. 
 Public opinion rules. No law that is contrary 
 to the "Zeitgeist" can be enforced jt Judges 
 
 161 
 
HEALTH AND WEALTH 
 
 translate and interpret the laws to suit the 
 Spirit of the Times. 
 
 Every man who speaks out loud and clear is 
 tinting the "Zeitgeist." Every man who expres 
 ses what he honestly thinks is true, is changing 
 the Spirit of the Times. Thinkers help other 
 people to think, for they formulate what others 
 are thinking. No person writes or thinks alone 
 thought is in the air, but its expression is 
 necessary to create a tangible Spirit of the 
 Times. The value of a thinker who writes, or a 
 writer who thinks, is that he supplies argu 
 ments for the people and confirms all who 
 are on his wire in opinions often before uttered. 
 
 162 
 
So here endeth the book, Health and 
 Elbert Hubbard, now done into enduring print 
 by The Roy crofters, at their Shop which is in 
 East Aurora, Erie County, New York, mcmviii 
 
ROYCROFT 
 
 
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