THE ROBERT E, COWAN COLLECTION I RKSKXTKD TO THK UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA I IV C._ P, HUNTINGTON JUNE, 18^7. i NO ytf 06~$t MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. OF TTTE UNIVERSITY 5 =2 s 4i^ s SAN FRANCISCO: A. L. BANCROFT AND COMPANY, 1876. Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1876, Br MRS. MARY BORXEMAXX, In the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington. THIS VOLUME IS DEDICATED TO CALIFORNIA, THE POLDEN J$TATE OF THE FAF^ WEST, X UNIVERSITY PREFACE. A TJTHORS commonly offer more or less apologies in JL- a preface; and it often happens that those points which the writer considers weak, are thought by the reader to be the strongest portions of the work. If I offer an apology for this book, I shall be but follow ing in the footsteps of authors gone before. These apolo getic prefaces, when put into plain English, can only mean, "Please excuse a book so full of shortcomings that it should not have been written, or, if at all, at some other time, or in some other place;" and, it might frequently be added with truth, by some other person. Now, I have no wish to be left out in the cold, through failing to make the usual number of apologies. To begin with, if I have painted my women with hair parted too far on one side, and the men with hair parted too much in the middle, my excuse for so doing is, that it is the fashion of the day. The next excuse I shall offer is this: had Joe been a man at the opening of our story, I should have placed him at the top of the title-page, instead of at the bottom, in recognition of the superiority of his sex. Inasmuch as he was but a boy, I think it suitable for him to sit at the feet of his mother. (5 ) PREFACE. I regret that necessity forced me to make a hardware merchant of Mrs. Glewer, for she did not deserve so hard a fate. If some of the characters here drawn present a forbidding exterior, let us be comforted by the thought that in all such there is some slumbering capability of reform; and let us be thankful that there are still some Madame Junks in the world to arouse them to a better life. ORAQUILL. CONTENTS. CHAPTER I. PAGE CHRISTIAN PAPERS AND PRISONERS PREPARATIONS FOR A CALL IMAGINARY ELOQUENCE 13 CHAPTER II. A SELF-MADE DANIEL WEBSTER A DESCENDANT OF OLIVER CROMWELL 18 CHAPTER III. HARDWARE STORE AND ORPHAN ASYLUM BOMBSHELLS IN CHURCH PROPAGATION, ETC 23 CHAPTER IV. A FOUR-BIT PHILANTHROPIST DOLLS MAKE TROUBLE SHE, HE, OR IT 28 CHAPTER V. A SIGNIFICANT DREAM LESSONS TO CITY OFFICIALS 36 CHAPTER VI. A GOOD DINNER WINS THE HEART DOUBTFUL PROGENITORS. 45 CHAPTER VII. A HEAVY WOMAN IN A JUNKY LINE 50 CHAPTER VIII. RAGS AND Rows HOME, SWEET HOME 53 CHAPTER IX. JOEL MEETS THE WILDCAT THE EFFECT OF DOCTOR SMART S RED REMEDY 59 CHAPTER X. RELIGIOUS QUESTIONS ANSWERED MEETING WITH HIGH- TONERS GREAT EXPECTATIONS , G6 (7) 8 CONTENTS. CHAPTER XL PAGE You AND I FATHER AND SON 79 CHAPTER XII. ALBION S DAUGHTER BUSY WITH YOUNG IDEAS THE CHRIS TIAN ADVOCATE 83 CHAPTER XIII. Too MANY GOOD THINGS WILL GIVE A MAN WINGS AR RESTED AND IN JAIL 88 CHAPTER XIV. A NIGHTBIRD S NEST AN ENGLISH LADY MEETS A MEMBER OF CONGRESS 92 CHAPTER XV. A PEEP BELOW RELEASED THE COMING CAMPAIGN 105 CHAPTER XVI. LAYING THE WIRES WOMAN S FIDELITY STUMP-SPEECHES COMMENTS OF THE PRESS 110 CHAPTER XVII. COMING EVENTS THE UMBRELLA A POOR PROTECTOR ON TPIE TRACK CAGED TRUE UNTO DEATH 122 CHAPTER XVIII. PINS AND BONES THE COMING MASS MEETING 135 CHAPTER XIX. THE PEOPLE S MAN COMPLIMENTS AND CAKES 142 CHAPTER XX. SHE WAS MY WIFE MADAME JANE JUNK AND THE HON. A. G. SMITH 145 CHAPTER XXI. D. D. SPLUDGE AND FAMILY THE WILL OF GOD DIFFERENCE IN CHRISTIAN VIEWS CHRISTIANITY IN PRISON.. . 155 CONTENTS. 9 CHAPTER XXII. PAGE STUDYING LAW THE ROBIN CHRISTIAN PRINCIPLES AND NA TURE S TRUTH 166 CHAPTER XXIII. SOCIAL CASTE THE MYSTERIOUS PACKAGE 177 CHAPTER XXIV. THE YOUNG PUGILIST 187 CHAPTER XXV. , THE INVITATION THE LOCKET 192 CHAPTER XXVI. THE PARTY A DISCUSSION OVER ART 198 CHAPTER XXVII. THE YOUNG PROTEGEE 211 CHAPTER XXVIII. THE COMING THUNDERCLX\P.. .. 216 CHAPTER XXIX. GOOD-BY ! HAVERSACK SCENE SCUDDING BEFORE THE STORM DIFFERENCES 231 CHAPTER XXX. LETTERS LIFTED FROM THE DEPTHS 242 CHAPTER XXXI. PRAYERS ANSWERED 251 CHAPTER XXXII. WHOLESOME ADVICE LETTERS TO AMERICA 254 CHAPTER XXXIII. A WARNING TO MEN A STRANGE MEETING CONFLAGRA TION JOEL ABDUCTED . . 263 IO CONTENTS. CHAPTER XXXIV. PAGE RESCUED AND RESTORED TO LIFE THE MOURNERS A FU NERAL BY MOONLIGHT 281 CHAPTER XXXV. A SCENE IN PRISON THE POOR EDITOR THAT WAS NOT BORN RIGHT 290 CHAPTER XXXVI. FOUND IN LIFE AND LOST IN DEATH 298 CHAPTER XXXVII. LIFTING THE VEIL 313 CHAPTER XXXVIII. THE PET PROJECT THE LAST WILL 320 CHAPTER XXXIX. THE CONTRITE SINNER TOM S DEATH A NEW FATHER AND MOTHER THE FIVE ACRES A LECTURE ON INDUSTRY . . 329 CHAPTER XL. ON THE WING RETURN HOME A VISIT TO THE MOUNTAINS WOMEN ARE DEVILS; SNAKES EVERY ONE OF EM, SIR. 339 CHAPTER XLI. TALK IN WASHINGTON 346 CHAPTER XLII. THE REFORMATORY HOME 3o3 CHAPTER XLIII. FROM WASHINGTON TO CALIFORNIA PREPARATIONS FOR THE RECEPTION THE REFORMATORY HOME THE ARRIVAL- JOEL AND CARRIE MEET 3G6 CHAPTER XLIV. DEFENSE OF WOMEN SENTIMENT THE FOURTH OF MARCH LARRY O DOODLE WILL BE BORN AGAIN MISTRESS PUNKS A LIVELY INTEREST IN THE HOME . . . 373 CONTENTS. I I CHAPTER XLV. PAGE Two MORE APPLICANTS KNIFE AND FORK SHOVEL AND HOE THE CULTIVATION OF BEANS.. . 386 CHAPTER XLVI. EDUCATED IN GENERALITIES DISCUSSION BETWEEN FATHER AND SON 394 CHAPTER XLVII. VIEWS ON MARRIAGE Miss JOSEPHINE BLESSING TEACHES MRS. PICTPINK TO READ. . . 399 CHAPTER XLVIII. PRODUCE FROM FIVE ACRES Miss BUSY S CHAGRIN THE AMERICAN GIRL ABSURD NOTIONS WEAK POINTS A CURIOUS PLACE Two BEANS A NEW APPLICANT A GARDEN IN HEAVEN 404 CHAPTER XLIX. A FRESH DEBUT A LETTER TO GENERAL GRANT A NOVEL TURNOUT MALICE AFORETHOUGHT, OR MARRIAGE 425 CHAPTER L. STERNNA IN SCOTLAND LARRY O DOODLE S RIDE WITH Mis- THRESS STANLY THE FUNERAL 430 CHAPTER LI. THE GOOD AND BAD ANGELS MADAME JUNK S PRESENT HALF-STARVED CHURCH MEMBERS 437 CHAPTER LII. MISCHIEF ABROAD TALK OF REVISING THE WORK ON THE PROPER PROPAGATION OF THE AMERICAN RACE 448 CHAPTER LIII. A GOOD MAN THAT HONORED GOOD WOMEN A WHOLE FLOCK OF PIGEONS IN ONE MAN S FACE.. . 457 1 2 CONTENTS. CHAPTER LIV. PAGE THIEVES BREAK IN AND STEAL A WINDFALL FOR THE PRESS PLOTTING LARRY O DOODLE COMES TO THE RESCUE. . . 459 CHAPTER LV. A GOLD MINE THE BOY SPECK, A SCRUBBY LAMB FROM HU MANITY S FLOCK A NEW HOME THE HEAVENLY FEELING OF BENEVOLENCE THE RATS IN A Box SPECK, THE HERO OF THE DAY 480 CHAPTER LVI. A THROUGH TICKET, ABOUT WHICH NO QUESTIONS WILL BE ASKED A LITTLE DAUGHTER WOMEN SHOULD BE HELP MEETS 500 CHAPTER LVII. THE SAIL SPECK, THE BRIGHT PARTICULAR STAR THE RATS IN A BOX: THEY ARE CAUGHT THE INFANT NAMED ROGER , 504 CHAPTER LVIII. THE F. F. V. s AT HOME THE EFFECT OF WASHINGTON SO CIETYMORE REFORM THE WEDDING OF LARRY O DOODLE MOTH EXTERMINATOR 510 CHAPTER LIX. A NATION OF POLITICAL SHARPERS HE WOULD KNOCK A MAN DOWN WHO SAID FAIL TONING SPECK UP A DEATH THE TRIAL THE AMERICAN GIRL TO BE TURNED OUT TO GRASS 518 CHAPTER LX. D. D. SPLUDGE GATHERED TO HIS FATHERS BY PROXY HE WILLS TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS TO THE POOR MRS. SPLUDGE PLEASED WITH THE APPROVAL OF THE PEOPLE. 527 CHAPTER LXI. THE ELECTION A SPEECH A FUNERAL A BIRTH THE ARRIVAL THE Two EPITAPHS : ONE FOR THE DEAD AND ONE FOR THE LIVING.. .... 532 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE, CHAPTER I. CHRISTIAN PAPERS AND PRISONERS PREPARATIONS FORA CALL IMAGINARY ELOQUENCE. "T "TAYE the prisoners liad tlieir papers this morning, X~T Joel?" " No, mother; t ain t eight o clock yet, and you know old Sliuteye won t let me in till they ve had breakfast." " Joel, you should not call names!" said Madame Junk, in a reproving tone. " Well, any way he is a bilk." "What is a bilk, Joel?" <c Why, a bilk is a feller that takes a boy s papers and never gives im nothing for em." "Well, well, Joel; you must not call any person bad names." The boy took down a rude satchel which hung on the wall, and proceeded to fill it with papers from a large bundle which Madame Junk had placed upon a chair just one moment since. They were good Christian papers, full of moral teachings, with now and then a daily paper by way of spice. 14 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. In the rear of a fine large residence on G Street is a room it cannot be called a Louse still it is built in the form of one. You go up ten or twelve steps before reach ing the door. The one window looks out upon a green plat of grass, with here and there a stunted water-lily, that would grow if it could have enough to drink. A scraggy grapevine is making an attempt to cling to some lattice work, but fails for want of strength. In this ten-by-twelve room is a three-quarter bed, cov ered with gray army blankets; a little stove, with two holes; one chair, and a trunk or chest. The last-named article is four and a half feet long by two and a half feet in width. There are three individuals in this room: Madame Junk is one, that lady being five feet ten inches long; then there is a little boy, who is four feet; and a little girl, two and a half. Now the reader may reckon up how many feet there are in the room; also how much room there is to move about in. The boy and girl would have doubtless been the world s waifs but for Madame Junk. As it is, they are hers; at least, there seems to be no one to say they are not. The boy is ten years of age; bright and active, with round face, and clear, dark eyes of a peculiar light, that seem to change color as often as the face changes expression. It is a study face; and as you look, your mind seems to stretch away into the future. You wish to know where to place that boy when he is a man. One moment you think he will be an eminent divine; the next, an eminent rogue; the next, a great statesman. At all events, you make up your mind that his life will be a marked one in some direction. This is the boy who is filling that satchel with papers. He was starting out to do what Madame Junk had taught him was labor for the Lord. As he trudged along under his load of papers, he wondered how long he should have to work so hard for the Lord; and if the Lord loved him as Madame Junk assured him that He did, why didn t the JOEL S DOUBTS. I 5 Lord get him a decent hat and shoes? Why didn t the Lord giv his mother and little sister a home? Joel knew that Madame Junk had been working for the Lord ever since he could remember. The reader must forgive little Joel if he sometimes thought these things were rather mixed. Madame Junk had opened that huge chest and was plowing with her long arms toward the bottom of it. Little Sternna sat on the floor, dressing a little white cat, with hat, veil, and shawl. Madame Junk gave a pull. There was a rattle on the bot tom of the chest, as she hauled out and held up to the light an antique black brocade silk dress. She turned it round and round, looking at the braid on the edge of the skirt, setting her head to one side, half closing one eye, scanning here and there, as an artist looks at something he is about to paint. " "What would you do, dear, if you had no pets?" "Me dit some, mamma!" and she set the cat upon its hind legs, adjusted the hat, and told it to "be a dood dirl," and it should have an orange. We presume it will be safe to answer for the cat from a human standpoint, that it would have preferred liberty to an orange. "Come here, Sternna, and have your hair combed, and your nice dress on." Madame Junk took the beautiful child on her lap. The little girl looked up into her face with that childish expres sion of love and trust. Unlike the boy, as you looked into the clear depths of her eyes you could see that her path through life would point heavenward. You could easily see that she was a child of foreign extraction. Her eyes were large and hazel-brown; nose slightly Roman, and mouth not too large; but, above all, not too small. The over-lip projected just enough to give the mouth a wonderful speak ing expression. In short, it was a character face, in which you could see how womanly firmness would develop. 1 6 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. Madame Junk took out of this cliest a dress that had been made over from one that was once her mother s. The goods were of old-fashioned chintz, all covered with bouquets the size of a small tea-plate. The groundwork was rose- color, and of itself was a very pretty thing. It would have made a young married woman a nice morning dress, but for a two-year-old child, where two or three of these bouquets covered her all over, it might be thought out of taste. About the neck of this flowery dress was a piece of real lace. This gewgaw (as Madame Junk termed it) be longed to that lady s palmier days. Again the huge chest must be hauled over. This time she brought out a pair of slippers, which had bows and buckles on the toes. The buckles looked like silver, but we will not promise they were. Next came a pair of silk stockings for a child; these last-named articles she handled in a sacred kind of manner, and a little sigh crept up over her lips and lodged in Sternna s hair. The slippers were all of two inches too long for the child, and turned up at the toes, which gave the little one the appearance of being on skates. By way of an outside garment, a dark-red silk pocket handker chief was pinned about the child, the three corners dangling far below the waist. Then came the little hat of Madame Junk s own make, all covered with artificial flowers of vari ous hues. 11 Stand out there, Sternna, and let mother see how you look!" Madame Junk set her head to one side, and her face wore a pleased expression. There is not a connoisseur of dress in the world who would not have said the child looked handsome. This done, Madame Junk proceeded to make her own toilet; this was done with little care. Her black brocade was soon donned, her hair combed down smooth over her high bald forehead, covering just half of the ear, and twisted in a hard knot at the back of the head. Her bonnet was plain black, and of the form known as "sky- SHE LOOKED MAJESTIC. IJ scraper." At all events it gave lier the appearance of being seven feet in height. Her mild blue eye brightened with pleasure as she thought how majestic she looked, and of the impression she should make. She did hope the Hon. Amos Goliah Smith had been to breakfast that morning: she hoped he had had a good meal; such a one as makes a, man feel at home with himself and all mankind. She was reflecting how she should approach him. Should it be in a neat set little speech on the proper propagation of the American race? or was it best to make some appropriate quotations from Shakspeare or from Blackstone ? Or should she give him a short treatise on metaphysics? This last thought she concluded would be the best, as it would give her a chance to show why we should be born better, and how much unnecessary time is consumed in setting people right that are born wrong. In her imagination Madame Junk grew eloquent. In her imagination she heard the Senator say: " Madame, you were born wrong; you should have been a man. What a grand Statesman you would have made ! Had you been a man, Madame, we should not have our present govern mental corruption; w r e should not have the present system of custom-house frauds; we should never have had Ku- klux; we should have had no civil war; in short, Madame, the American Republic would not have been a byword, a laughing-stock, a mouthpiece all over Europe, as it now is." "Who can tell how long Madame Junk s prolific brain would have produced this imaginary eloquence, had not little Sternna pulled her black brocade and said, "Me want to go, mamma ?" 2 CHAPTER II. A SELF-MADE DANIEL WEBSTER A DESCENDANT OF OLIVER CROMWELL. HON. AMOS GOLIAH SMITH had been elected to Congress from California. His term had expired, and he was making active preparations for a second cam paign, which would this time be most vigorously contested; his opponent being no less a person than one Sampson, whose well-known strength of "pocket" made him a for midable foe in the political field. It may be a matter of some curiosity to our readers to know if Senator Smith s mother gave him the name of Goliah. "We are happy to inform them that the lady to whom we refer was a sane, sound, New England woman, and would never be guilty of such a crime. Senator Smith won the name of Goliah as he won his fortune, at one fell stroke. The "time and tide" of this man s affairs had brought him conspicuously before the public. This, com bined with his great fortune, impelled the people to re- christen him. Nor was Mr. Smith really a Senator, but a member of the lower House of Congress. Nevertheless, on account of his great wealth and his dignity of carriage, and because he had at one time been a State Senator, he was always known by that title among his fellow-citizens; and as a Senator and a Goliah he shall figure in these pages. It was not that Senator Smith waj3 versed in knowledge; ( 18) THE INTERVIEW. 19 not that he had studied Ricardo or Mai thus on Political Economy; indeed, it is doubtful if he ever heard of those individuals. Senator Smith had made his maiden speech, in which a gun or two was fired that shook the House and jarred the nerves of not a few of its members. He had sprung up a self-made Daniel Webster in a minute. Madame Junk had sent up her card. It was written upon a slip of foolscap, and was large enough to contain the following words, which were written in that lady s character hand: Of San Francisco. Formerly of Boston. A descendant of Oliver Cromwell. If a gentleman would not give a lady audience after read ing that card, he is unworthy of our consideration. "Sir," said Senator Smith s body-guard; "there is a lady in the next room who wishes to see you on business." "I ve no time! I ve no time!" "But, Sir, she tells me it is a matter in which you are as much interested as herself. Here is her card." "Her card! the devil! I should think it was a letter. Is she young?" "About thirty, I should say." " Tell her I will see her." As the servant left, the Hon. Amos Goliah Smith muttered to himself, "What can this persistent old buzzard want of me?" "Good morning, Senator Smith." "Good morning, Madame. Take a seat. What might your business be ?" asked the Senator, inserting his thumb 2O MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. and forefinger into the corners of his mouth, and drawing them down the least bit, just to give one the impression he was a very stern man. Thereupon that selfsame persistent Madame Jane Junk arose from the chair upon which she was sitting, and tak ing a step forward, assumed a very imposing attitude, lifted her eyes to the stucco, and began speaking about Goliah s benevolence, when she was interrupted with, "Who in formed you, Madame, that I was benevolent?" and his eyes flashed with a nervous twitch which spoke volumes of suffer ing under his benevolence. There was something, how ever, in the placid expression of Madame Junk s eyes which crept way into one corner of Goliah s heart, touching a spring that opened a casket for sympathy. He bade her be seated, in a kindlier tone; he began stroking his beard as he would a pet cat which was out of humor. In a patronizing tone he asked Madame Junk what he could do for her. Nothing would have pleased that lady so much as to have entered into a lengthy grandiloquent argument over the proper propagation of the American race. She saw brevity written all over Goliah s face, and thought it was not best to launch out upon her pet theme that time. So she began with, " I have always understood that you were benevolent." c The deuce take my benevolence ! Madame, to the point ! I want to eat. I ve had no breakfast, and at this very minute there are two Catholic priests, three widows, one negro, and two cripples, all waiting in the next room for what you call my benevolence. When I was a poor man I could eat and sleep; now, that I have a little money, every man, woman and child that is in want of a dollar consider it their privilege to come to me for it." Here Madame Junk saw an opportunity to throw in a little word on her hobby. You see, Senator, all men of your large intellect will NOT CONVINCED. 21 see the question at issue is this: "We shall never have a better state of things until people are born right." "Madame, has that anything to do with your business withnie?" The lady being thus reminded that she was not here for the purpose of reading a homily on being born, proceeded to state that she hoped his great benevolence " Don t call me benevolent again; I am not! * " Well, then, we will call it your wish to do good. Will you lead to help me build a prison reform for those who leave the convict s cell, and are unable to procure employ ment because dishonored ?" The man of many millions smiled. It was a smile by which it was difficult to determine the feeling that predom inated. Was it sarcasm or amusement? It was but mo mentary; his features settled, and he bade her proceed with the modus operandi of putting this into effect. When Madame Junk had given him a brief synopsis of her plan, Goliah replied: "You are attempting to be a philanthropist without means to carry it on." With this home-thrust he invited his visitor to go, by rising and walking toward the door, a hint which she accepted; not, however, without poking into his ear a sly compliment, so well-timed and in a didn t-mean-to-do-it sort of a way, that the gentleman was nattered; his back suddenly became supple and his head slightly inclined for ward as he rung the bell for his servant to show Madame Junk out. "When can I see you again, Senator?" "Well, a week from to-day; but don t depend upon my giving much for such a scheme." Madame Junk s sky-scraper made a bow, and her tall erect figure passed out. The interview had terminated as well as she could expect. The ice was broken; what if it was rather cool at first, it would thaw by and by. " Yes, yes!" said Madame Junk to herself; "that is the man the 22 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. man God lias chosen from his people to do his most holy work. Now the next thing to do is to prove this fact to the gentleman; and when once convinced that he has been thus ordained, we have no doubt he will take hold of the work right manfully." But the convincing part of the job is the most difficult part of all; for, although Senator Smith con tributed largely for the support of churches, he was no pro fessed Christian. CHAPTEE III. HARDWARE STORE AND ORPHAN ASYLUM BOMB SHELLS IN CHURCH PROPAGATION, ETC. ME. AND MES. GLEWEE might have been said to belong to the working-classes; not, however, of the poorer sort. Thomas Glewer kept a small hardware- shop on an obscure street in San Francisco, where he did a tolerably brisk business with the people who came up from the country. Mrs. Glewer was a beautiful woman, in whose large brown eyes there was a mysterious something, wholly undefined by those whom her position led her to come in contact with. Mrs. Glewer might not have been a lady in the strict conventional sense of the word. The reader who under stands human nature does not expect the writer to fill every place with conventional ladies. It is the home-made bread we are after; and if we dispense with some of those side- dishes which are usually brought in to garnish a novel, we beg the reader to excuse our home-made hash. Mrs. Glewer serves us for a character in which a phase of life is depicted. You may judge of her merits and de merits hereafter. The Glewers lived in a small tenement house of five rooms; two of these rooms were let to lodgers. The windows of each room were filled to their utmost ca pacity with the different flowers in which California abounds. Having no yard, and being very fond of flowers, Mrs. Glewer must needs make a garden in her windows. Two singing birds hung between the vines, and on sunny mornings operatically rivaled each other in sweet song. (23) 24 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. Heaven had never blessed Mrs. Glewer with children of her own; but there are mothers in whose breasts the ma ternal fount has never flowed, in whose hearts the tender yearning to be a natural mother was never answered; still, they are mothers by right of feeling, and that true motherly care which they evince for the helpless. Mrs. Glewer had been married to her husband some two years, when Madame Kumor, ever on the alert for the short comings of mankind, whispered of a youthful indiscretion of her husband. It was something about a forsaken woman and an unlawful child. Mrs. Rumor did not stop here; she informed all those who were willing to listen that the boy was at this moment in the Orphan Asylum, and that, too, within a stone s throw of the Glowers home. To live where the very atmosphere is impregnated with the minds of the people who think intently on a subject, is, to some, equivalent to an open discussion of the matter. No one dared to broach the subject to Mrs. Glewer; but when they saw her they thought of it, and Mrs. Glewer read the thought, dwelling upon it with reason and philos ophy. She did not become at once a frequenter of Orphan Asylums, but she began to reconnoiter them. She gradu ally walked around the church before going in at the door; and by degrees became interested in charitable institutions, until she w r as finally elected an officer of this particular asylum. She was there for more than one purpose. One was the natural desire to do good, and the other was to find something which she thought belonged to her. It was something she had a sovereign right to claim. She was looking for an atonement; not that she had sinned wdthout asking God s pardon. She might have been looking for some way to save a soul. Who shall say she was not ? " Kate, what under the heavens has come over you? You have been spinning enough street-yarn to serve all the old women in the^ country." This was the ejaculation that Tom Glewer gave vent to as he sat munching his roast HANDS FULL AND HEART FULL. 25 mutton at dinner. "You have been over to that Orphan Asylum twice a week for months. Do you propose to run it? or have you some children there?" " No, Tom, I have none that I am the mother of." "Fm a poor man, and work like the devil for my living; I don t feel like spending my hard earnings in charity. For my part, I think charity begins at home." " I agree with you, Tom; it does;" and there came over Kate s face that strange expression which her husband had ever failed to fathom. "But, Tom, you know I" (she did not emphasize I, but run it in just as if the pronoun I had no particular weight in the sentence) " have no children of my own. I feel it is my duty to do something for those little ones who have been left without a father s and mother s care." " I m an orphan, and if you tend me as you should, you will have your hands full, and ought to have your heart full, too." " That may be true, Tom; but I think I am good for two. When I neglect to do my duty it is time enough for you to complain." " I suppose Oliver Cromwell has been stuffing your ears with orphans ?" (Tom was in the habit of calling Madame Junk " Oliver Cromwell.") " No, Tom; all her charity is in quite another direction." " Oh, indeed!" said Tom; " I am glad to learn there is a little something going on that her nose is not poked into." Madame Junk had frequently affirmed that her father was not a far-off descendant of Oliver Cromwell, and al most a perfect prototype of that illustrious man. There must have been royal blood about Madame Junk, for she was forever telling the Glewers how blue it was. Madame Junk sat regular every Sabbath under the teach ings of good Doctor S , and when that divine got off a mammoth intellectual bombshell, and one that his congre gation failed to comprehend, it generally fell at the feet of 26 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. Madame Junk, accompanied with an expression of the good Doctor s face, which said, as plain as words could say, " You understand me, don t you?" So much she took to herself, and was gratified. At twenty Madame Junk was a beautiful girl. When her husband sought and won her, she was quite a catch. She could have married half a dozen men with twice his money. He proved to be an unprincipled scamp, and she left him, procured a divorce, and took her maiden name. She has been frequently heard to say, " If it is not a hand some name it is an honest one, and never was disgraced." It was about this time the eccentricity of her character began to develop itself. By those who knew her she was looked upon as a wondering Neonomian. She came to California in the early days, and lectured to a few rude miners on the subject of the proper propagation of the American race. It was a subject her audience thought, under the circumstances, out of place. One old fellow arose in the audience and said he thought she could do more good by sending them an invoice of wives. California, in those days, evidently was not the place for that class of a lecture. There are those who go through the world feeling the responsibility of the world upon their shoulders, always feeling there is something they must do outside their own interests. Madame Junk might have been called a female tramp; but in my mind it is totally wrong to call any one naughty names because they try to do good with little or nothing to do it with. Madame Junk always carried a bag of medi cines on her arm, wherever she went. That bag was a free dispensary for the poor. It is true, that some of her pa tients felt rather poorly after a dose from that bag. Among her sovereign remedies was that of Spanish pepper; and if man, woman, child, horse or dog, was taken with a fainting fit in the streets, or any other place where she chanced to A CHARITABLE BAG. 2 7 be, she would get out her spoon (she always carried one in the bag), and before the bystanders had time to interfere she would have it into the sick person s or animal s mouth. The effect was generally speedy. Thus with many she settled red pepper as an indispensable household doctor of very smart practice. CHAPTER IY. A FOUR-BIT PHILANTHROPIST DOLLS MAKE TROUBLE SHE, HE, OR IT. SOMETHING over a week has passed since Madame Junk waited upon the Senator. We presume he has been to breakfast several times since then. This morning he was seated in the front room of his own private office. He was reading the daily papers looking over the Stock Exchange in a listless sort of way, the Liver pool wheat market, and other daily records where capital is largely invested. Ever and anon he raised his right hand to the back of his head, and smoothing the hair down, brought the hand back as far as the mouth; took his cigar between his fore and middle finger, puffing out a delicate volume of smoke that mingled with the serene satisfaction which pervaded the atmosphere. He had finished reading all the matter that was of interest to him. He was thinking it had been a long time since he had been so free from people seeking his benevolence. The gentleman was not left to reflect long in this enjoyable sort of a way before one of the body-* guard handed in Madame Junk s card, which was more brief than the former one, and upon which was written, with a terrific flourish of the J., "Madame Jane Junk and Daughter." This time he brought his hand to the back of his head, stroking the hair toward the crown, twitched his vest down, sat further back in his easy chair, and rested his elbows on its arms, looking as much at home as if he had been born there. SHE PLEADS FOR REFORM. 29 " Well, show her in. A The short interval which elapsed was spent in muttering something about inconsistent old women. " Good morning, Madame! Pray be seated." "With that gallantry characteristic of American men, he arose and conducted Madame Junk to an easy chair on the op posite side of the room, the lady dropping a courtesy at every step, with "Thanks, thanks, Sir." "When seated, she took Sternna on her lap, and the Sena tor moved to his seat. Madame Junk opened the ball by remarking, " We are having very pleasant weather." The Senator returned the salute with, " Is that your daughter ? " at the same time giving her a scrutinizing look that would have done credit to a woman. "I am all the mother the child has," replied Madame Junk in dramatic tones. She would have launched out into metaphysics had not the Senator looked a formidable stop. " Ah! yes. What was it you wished to see me about? " The lady thus encouraged began by saying she hoped the Senator could see the necessity of having a place of resort for prisoners after they had been discharged. "No, Madame, I cannot say I do; and suppose I did, who would take the responsibility of conducting such an establishment ? " " Why, I would!" and Madame Junk sat up as straight as if she had a stave laced to her back. " Madame, what experience have you hod in this sort of work?" " Well, Senator, I have had just this kind: For the last five years I have provided the prisoners with all the read ing-matter they have had." Does that reform them ? " asked the Senator with a smile. " No, Sir! It enlightens them, and that is on the road to reform." "But, Madame, I think this limited experience would scarcely suffice." 3O MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " But, Sir, I did not say this was all I had." " Well, what more have you had ? " queried the Senator, resting his elbows on the arms of his chair, and bringing the ends of his eight fingers together. " I have supplied them with food and raiment when they were unable to obtain work." " Madame, I have no doubt your motive is a Christian one; and if you feel disposed to spend your fortune in that way it is not for me to argue the question with you." " My fortune, Sir! I I have no fortune." The stave at her back must have broken, for her erect figure became limp. " You no fortune ? " said the Senator. " I inferred from your conversation this morning that you were a lady of un limited means, and this was your eccentric way of disposing of it." " I have one half dollar in my purse. That will serve to buy something to eat for one day. My Bible tells me to let the morrow take care of itself, and I have never found that blessed book going back on a promise." By this time the Senator began to look really annoyed; annoyed that he could not determine what this woman was. There was something in this woman that spoke of old Puritan aristocracy. There was at times a cultured expression on her face. There was something that spoke of other and better days. Cropping out of every line in the face, there was that which told you she had, some time, mingled with the best, mayhap men of letters. When we feel bored with grown people, a child is always a convenient thing to turn the topic of conversation upon. " Come and see me, little girl," said the Senator, in a pleasant tone of voice. Madame Junk lifted the child down from her lap, and bade her go over and speak to the gentleman. The child walked slowly over, all the time looking the man in the eyes, half in trust and half in doubt. The Senator stroked her hair and told her he had a little girl about as old as she was. A BRIGHT NEW PIECE. 3! " What is your name, little girl ?" " Nernna." " Sternna!" chimes in Madame Junk. " Sternna what?" re-echoes the Senator. The child looked back at her mother and waited for the answer. "At present she has no other name; but the time will come, Sir, w r hen she will have one, and one, too, that will be an honor to her." The Senator muttered something in an undertone that sounded like " I hope so." Leaning to one side he inserted his thumb and forefinger in his right-side vest-pocket, and bringing out a bright new piece, he took the child s little hand, and placing the gold in her palm closed her fingers over it, held them down a moment, and said: " That is for you, little girl, to buy something nice." " Make a bow, and say, thank you," said Madame Junk. " Tank ou." As the child bowed, the roses and pinks on her dress bowed too. Her shoes turned up their toes approvingly at the Senator s benevolence. " Madame, I have an appointment at this hour, and I must beg you will excuse me." " But, Sir, you have given no definite answer to my sug gestion. " " Well, Madame, you have not defined it very clearly. At all events, I cannot listen longer this time. Here is a little something to make yourself and child comfortable," handing her a piece of money, and bidding her good day amid a volley of her thanks. As Madame Junk passed out, she resolved, within herself, that she would yet do something for that man something good, something great. To sum it all up, that man must and should accept her views on these reform questions. " He need not pretend to me that he don t think about it; I know he will think over what I have been telling him." 32 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. What were Hon. Amos Goliah Smith s thoughts after the departure of his visitor ? Was our modern mental telegram exchanging minds ? Certainly there was a response. " Yes, yes," thought this man of money; " what a glori ous campaigner this woman will make, and I shall be obliged to use all the material that comes in my way. I shall have a close run this time, and need all the help I can get. She is a good talker, a fair reasoner, in and out of all places, religious and benevolent." The last thought seemed to amuse him. A philanthropist with only one half dollar was quite a novel thing. But hold, my kind Senator! an American humorist has said, "Penny charities count in heaven;" and we will add, that the widow s mite will be recorded upon the same book with your millions. Last night Kate Glewer sat up most all night dressing dolls, and stringing spools from which thread had been used. Passing an auction store one day, she saw a gross of wax dolls, of various sizes, which she bid off at a great bar gain. She wished to make her little girls and boys a Christ mas present. Mrs. Glewer had something less than a cord of wooden blocks for the boys, and not quite a cord of dolls for the girls. "Kate, I should think we had as many as twenty chil dren by the looks of this room," said Tom Glewer; "I don t like this way of spending my money." " I did not spend your money, Tom." (Mrs. Glewer had a small dower when she married Tom.) "Besides, Tom, they were only a trifle." " Well, if you are fool enough to spend what little you have in that way, it is none of my business; but don t ask me when you want a dress or shoes. I won t uphold a woman in such useless extravagance." * I only have one dress in a year, and that I get with the interest of my money, and I make it myself. The velvet in my hat I have had for four years, and every year I have made it over." A GOOD DINNER. 33 "Well, suppose you have; I board you, and provide a place for you to live." " Yes, Tom, I know you do, and it is very kind of you." And Kate gave way to one of those dreamy sort of moods. If Tom could have read her thoughts at that moment he would have found her asking herself this question : " If all married men take the position that my husband does, what would become of the wives and children ?" If she arrived at any conclusion, it was that they would all be orphans, and that the world would be one large orphan asylum. If her sympathy for orphans was in that moment renewed, Tom was responsible for it. She would hustle about, and get Tom a good dinner; she would get him his favorite dish roast mutton, with caper sauce. Kate s head was full of schemes; and when a woman wishes to carry out a plan with her liege lord, she cajoles him with a bone (not that we wish to make comparisons). She infuses into every thing about her the effervescence of intensity. A man would be quite callous who could withstand a woman armed with such a nature. If men only knew how they were managed, either for good or evil, they would all become rebels. Happily for them, they are so much engrossed with business they have no time to watch the flank move ments of their wives. Kate Glewer was good that is, good as the word goes; generous, and full of noble impulses; but she was not an angel; and we aver they do not live in this world, and we are told they seldom visit us from the Unknown. We left Madame Junk returning from a call on the Sen ator. To speak after the manner of men, she had made " quite a speck." Her financial condition was so much improved that she was even now looking about to find some one who was in need of a dollar. Coming down C Street, this benevolent lady came up to a colossal lump of flesh. He, she, or it, was dressed as a woman, and sitting on an empty soap-box turned upside down. He, she, or it, had 3 34 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. on a bonnet much too small, and before the eyes was a visor, which reached half way down the nose. The chin, the great double chin (we might call chops), protruded. On the chin was here and there a scraggy hair. This last item would not attract particular attention, because some very good women have been known to have a few hairs on their chins. He, she, or it, held a quart cup. On the bottom of this cup were two silver five-cent pieces, which showed rather poor picking in that quarter; it looked as if it might take a powerful quantity of sitting to gather a quart of those pieces. On the broad breast of this figure was a placard, on which was written, "Help the blind. " Madame Junk stepped in front of this figure. Holding little Sternna by the hand, Madame Junk took out her small buckskin wallet, which fastened with a clasp. She drew out another five- center, and, holding it at least a good foot over the cup, let it drop with a jingle, which caused the poor blind person to say, " The Lord be praised/ in tones that would make you think the lungs were almost, if not quite, gone, although outwardly there was nothing to prove it. Madame Junk touched her on the hand, and said: " Madame, where do you live? I may be able to assist you in some way." Again the place where the lungs ought to be heaved vio lently. She labored for breath, and just audibly articulated, " I I m shure I m after living nowhere." "Nowhere?" returned Madame Junk; "it is not pos sible!" More hard breathing, and she worried out, It s sthopping wid my brother I am." (Another gasp.) " He s living jist ferninst" (almost gone) "the hop-biling shop." "But what street and what number?" asked Madame Junk, earnestly. This time it seemed to be doubtful if he or she (there is no longer any doubt, for we know this object does not be long to the neuter gender) would ever catch his or her breath ONE BREATH LEFT. 35 again. After much struggling, he or she got out the word " three" (another gasp), then the word " four." " Thirty-four?" said Madame Junk. This time the lady of the tin-cup signaled yes" by bowing her head as much as her double chin would permit. " Thirty-four! But what street ? " asked Junk. The chin went up and down, the lips moved as if to form a word, but no sound came over them. "Come! what street?" " D-r-u-n-k," was whispered one letter at a time. " Thirty-four Drunk Street. Is that it ?" Again the head bowed. " I shall be around there, to see what can be done for you." As Madame Junk s tall figure passed down the street, she was heard to mutter: "Not born right! "When will people comprehend the great problem of the American race ?" Still, with all these regrets about the human race being so badly born, we half believe Madame Junk was pleased that she had found another weighty subject for dis section, or, in other words, one that must be reborn in order to enter the kingdom of heaven. CHAPTEE V. A SIGNIFICANT DREAM LESSONS TO CITY OFFICIALS. 11 A EE the prisoners all well this morning, Joel? " jC\. All but Dick Spencer. " " What is the matter with Mr. Spencer ? " " Don t know. I tucked him in two papers. He set up on his elbow and said, Halloo! lost angel; how s yer mother ? Tell her I shall pass in my checks before my trial comes off. Then he fell back and looked so white." Madame Junk began fumbling in the pocket of her dress and talking the while : " Poor fellow! not to blame; was born wrong. Joel, here take this money and get me as nice a piece of lamb as can be found in the market. I wish to make Mr. Spencer a good dish of broth, then I want you to take it to him." "But, mother, they won t let me in again to-day; and if they would, I wouldn t want to eat the broth." < Why, Joel ? Why do you talk in that way ? " " Old Shuteye allers puts his hand in and feels all round on the bottom of the dish. I don t believe he ever washes his hands, only when I bring broth to the prisoners. He is mighty fraid about files and saws when a man hasn t got no money, nor hasn t got no friends that s got money. But he can shut-eye when they have." " Joel! Joel! You must not talk in that way or you will be arrested for defamation of character. Eun right along now, that is a good boy. Get a nice piece," said Madame Junk, opening the door and calling down the steps. Madame Junk began making the fire and getting things A BAD DREAM. 37 ready by the time Joel returned with the meat. Little Sternna was playing school with her white cat. So Mad ame Junk was left to her thoughts, which we shall make no attempt to follow, for they cover such an area. Joel soon returned with the lamb, which his mother pronounced a fine piece. " Do you feel tired, Joel? " " I guess so," said Joel, with a yawn. His mother went to the bed, shook up the pillow, and gave it a good spank ing, patted the bed, and told Joel to get up there and take a rest while the broth was cooking. The boy was glad to obey. He was soon sound asleep, with his cheek resting in the palm of his hand, his mouth open, and his dark chest nut curls clustering around his high white forehead. How noble and innocent he looked! Ever and anon Madame Junk stepped to the bedside and softly kissed him. She never kissed him except when he was sleeping. Once she paused longer, and with clasped hands and eyes lifted toward heaven, she breathed a prayer. It was such a prayer as a mother only can utter. " O God! help me to direct this darling boy in the right path; help me to fit him for Thy kingdom. O God! take him unto Thy fold; and when his path treads where danger lies, envelop him in Thy garment of purity; and, O God! as his little feet walk the thorny way that leads up into man hood, shield him, O God, from that vice which environs us all. O God, thou supreme ruler of the universe! help us to make this boy a good man, an honest man, a God- loving, conscientious man a man fitted to do Thy highest work for his fellow-man. This, O Lord, we ask Thee in Thy name. Amen." This mental prayer being offered up, Madame Junk pro ceeded to put rice in the broth, which had been boiling briskly for the last half hour. This done, she sat down to mend Joel s coat. She thought it best to let the boy sleep until everything was ready. For some moments her mind 38 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. had been dwelling on Joel s probable future. Glancing up she saw Joel sitting up in bed with a look of fright on his face. " What is the matter, Joel?" " I have had such a bad dream, mother." " "What is it?" asked Madame Junk eagerly (she believed in dreams). " I thought I and you was coming through dark woods, and as we was walking along I saw a big wildcat right over our heads in a tree. Its eyes looked like balls of fire; it was just ready to jump down on us, and you said, Let s run it will destroy us; and I said, Oh pshaw! I can kill that/ Then the cat jumped on me and began scratching my face; and you took hold of its jaws and split its mouth right open. And then we walked on and on, through this dark woods. It was full of wild animals, and they wanted to kill us; but I took hold of your hand; you told me that while I had hold of your hand they could not hurt me. Then we came to a great muddy stream of water. Then there was no way to cross; and you said we must wait and put our trust in God, and he will help us. While you was talking, the water began to turn a nice blue, and we saw a ship coming with very white sails, and I was so glad it woke me up. But I can t forget that nasty cat with eyes like fire." Madame Junk leaned forward and looked solemn. "Joel, the dream is significant." " What is significant, mother? I don t know that word." " The dream has a meaning." " I should think it had, by the way that cat flew at me." Madame Junk told Joel to change his clothing, and she would prepare the broth. It was turned into a small tin pail, a brass strainer was placed inside a quart bowl, and this with a spoon was done up in a paper. " Joel, you say to the turnkey that your mother requests him to strain this broth, and not put his hand in it. I BROTH FOR THE SICK. 39 think this strainer will catch all the files and saws there are in it. Besides/ she muttered to herself in an undertone, "I don t think pork is good for sick people." The word pork was not spoken low enough to prevent Joel from hear ing it. "Say that over again, mother; I would just like to tell the old whelp that." "You tell him, Joel, just what I have said," replied Madame Junk, "and that will do." She opened the door and walked down the steps, before trusting the broth to Joel s hand. " I must really begin to look after that boy s education," thought Madame Junk; "he is using very bad grammar, and it is time he began his studies." You here again, you little imp ?" said the jailer. "Well, I shan t let you in. I have no orders to let you in but once a day. You can just tramp, Joe Junk." " Mother sent some broth for Dick Spencer." "I don t care for Dick Spencer, or your mother either. I know one thing, your mother and you make me more trouble than all the prisoners put together. I don t know why your mother must allers be sticking her nose into my dish." " Will you let me in, Sir? I did not come here to hear you talk about my mother!" and Joel s eyes flashed; there came over his face an expression of command that made the jailer start. "No-sir-ee! you can tramp; don t get in until to-morrow morning, when it is time to bring the papers." The boy walked out. What transpired will show that he was not to be defeated so easy. The Sheriff s office was about half a block distant from the jail. Joel, with his bucket of broth, made directly for that gentleman s office. " Are you the Sheriff?" said Joel, stepping in with as much freedom as if he had a desperate case of execution for the Sheriff to perform. The Sheriff whirled about in his chair. " What do you wish, my son ?" 4O MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " Well, my mother made some nice broth for Dick Spen cer; he is awful sick in the jail. I guess he will die." " Well, boy, what can I do about it ?" said the Sheriff. " Why, you can give me an order to get in." 11 Is that all? Come along." The Sheriff took his hat and cane, and walked down to the jail with Joel. When the jailer saw them coming he began fixing his face into a hypocritical grin. Why didn t you let this boy in with the broth for a sick man ?" " Well, you see I didn t know what he might have on the bottom of the dish. You know, Sheriff, a lot of these fel lows gave us the slip once just in this way." " You might know," spoke up Joel, " for you allers put your hand in; but this time mother has sent a strainer that will catch all the files and saws. Mother thinks pork ain t good for sick folks." The corners of the Sheriff s mouth began to relax, and he seemed to have immediate use for his pocket handkerchief, with which he rubbed his mouth in the vain attempt to rub out a laugh. " Where do you live, my boy?" " Over yonder," said Joel, nodding his head this way and that. " Have you a father ?" " Not that I know of." " Well, I suppose you have a name ?" " My mother calls me Joel, and the rest of the folks call me Joe Junk." " Do you go to school ?" " Can I set this dish of broth on the stove ? It is getting cold, and Mr. Spencer is awful sick." " That is right, my son; heat the broth, and take it in. See here, turnkey; when this boy comes again with any thing for the sick, you let him in. I see that this boy s mother is a Christian person, and trying to do all the good BROTH FOR THE SICK. 41 she can." With this last injunction, he walked away, think ing to himself, Mighty bright boy !" Joel took the warm broth, and followed the sulky turnkey down the corridor until he caine to Dick Spencer s cell. "Do you want to go in?" said the turnkey. "Yes, I should if it will make no difference to you." As the turnkey was unlocking the cell door he looked over his shoulder at Joel. "Look ahere, boy; you can stay just twenty minutes. The doctor thinks this feller s shamming just to get up sympathy when his trial comes off." " Is that you, Joe Junk?" moaned Dick. "Yes, Dick; mother has sent you some broth. I guess it will make you well; there is pretty nigh a whole sheep in it." "God bless your mother! I am far from mine." He pushed himself up, and Joel held the bowl of broth to his mouth. He tasted a mouthful or so. "It is very nice, Joe; but I cannot eat. Joe, can you remember good?" " I should think so; that ain t a very hard word to re member." "Joe, if I never see you again " "Goin away, Dick?" " Yes, Joe; I shall soon go a long journey." " Do you know the folks there ? Was you ever there be fore?" The boy understood what the man referred to, but was like many an older person who thinks he is doing a very kind act by laughing death out of countenance. "Got a pencil, Joe?" Joel fumbled about among a budget in his pocket and brought to light a blunt stump, which he handed to Dick. " Now, Joe, just give me the margin on that newspaper/ " Give you what ?" said Joe. " The white edge on that paper." "Oh!" Joel took the paper in his hand, folded down the margin, 42 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. run his tongue the length of the paper and separated the white edge. " There now, Dick/ said Joe; " I will put my head down so, and you can make a nice writing-desk of my back. There now, ain t that comfortable? Just sing out when you ve got your letter writ, and your desk will get out of the way." It was with difficulty poor Dick wrote, even with this commodious portable desk. When he had finished he rolled it up into a small wad. Handing it to Joel, he told him he must be careful not to lose it. " Go right home and give it to your mother." "But you know old Shuteye has to see everything in my pocket. Hold on! I ll fix the old coon this time," said Joel in a whisper. He took a small piece of paper and rolled the written slip up very compact, and tucking it way back in the corner of his mouth, just over the wisdom tooth (or where it would be, for Joel had not yet cut his), closed his mouth, patted his cheek, and asked Dick if he looked as if he had the toothache. "No; I should not notice anything. Joe, I want to say one word to you: Keep good company." "Then I shall have to stop coming here every morning with papers." "Joe, this may be a lesson to you. "When you see the pitfalls where others have fallen, you will go around them." " Is there any wus folks in the world than in this jail ?" " Yes, Joe, I think so; but they are not found out. Tell your mother everything, Joe. If any one tells you to do wrong, go to your mother with it. If there is anything under God s heavens that will not bear the light of day, tell your mother, Joe; tell your mother. If I could speak to every boy in the world, I would tell them to confide in their mothers. " " But every boy hain t got a mother," said Joe. " Well, there is always good women enough that a boy can trust." PRINCIPLES TO DIE BY. 43 " I don t know," replied Joe, reflectively. " Dick, you talk kind of shaky like. Has the doctor been in ?" "No." " Well, if old Slmteye thinks he is going to have every thing his way, he s fooled." The keys rattled in the lock, the door opened, and old Shuteye bellowed out, " Joe Junk, be moving!" Joe tipped his old felt hat to one side, so that it almost rested on one ear, the brim quite covering the wisdom tooth. When the outside door was closed, the jailer looked in the bowl and other dishes. "Turn your pockets out, Joe Junk!" This he did willingly. Some strings and a soiled handkerchief were all there was to be found. " Begone!" but before the jailer had finished the word, Joe was off. We may as well inform our readers why the jailer so dis liked Joel. We can do so in a few brief words : the boy in terfered with his perquisites. Madame Junk, having great influence with the Church, had, through it, secured the privilege of Joel s taking papers to the prisoners every morning. She never stopped to con sider this was a self-imposed duty. One not acquainted with her religious fervor would have thought she was real izing a handsome profit, so punctual was she in the dis charge of this duty. Once out, Joel took the quid from over his wisdom tooth, and set out to make the Sheriff another call. He found that functionary busy with two gentlemen. " What! back so soon?" said the Sheriff. " We must try and elect you for our next Mayor. " " If I was the Mayor there would be some different doings round here." " What s the matter now, my little man ?" "I come down," said Joe, " to see if Mr. Dick Spencer had been reported on the sick-list." " Who told you that Mr. Spencer had not been re ported?" 44 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. <c I told me so. I have just been in, and I know." How is this ? " said the Sheriff, turning to the gentleman with whom he was just speaking, for it was the surgeon of the county jail. " This thing must be looked into." " I was in to-day and the turnkey told me that Spencer had a fit of the dumps. I gave it no particular attention. I know that persons frequently have these spells just before their trial. The chances are against this fellow. He will, in all probability, be sent up for a term of years. But I will look after the case immediately." And while he spoke he drew from his pocket a half dollar and reached it toward Joe. Joe looked up into the surgeon s face and asked, "What s that for?" " Why, boy, it is for you." "I don t want it!" "You are devilish proud for one so poor." " I m not a city official, Sir, or I might take it. I get my living in another sort of a way. And my mother told me tain t right to take a favor from a person without I can see some way to return it." Saying this, Joel left the office. The gentlemen exchanged significant looks. The Sheriff said: " I would like to see that boy s mother." " I have seen her often," replied the surgeon. " She is a half-insane religious fanatic. Concludes it is her duty to redeem mankind. Everything she does has more or less of the Virgin Mary about it." "Is she a Catholic?" "No! The devil may tell what she is. She always at tends Dr. S s church, and I am told has great influence in all charitable works." "Has she money?" c No ! I don t know how she lives. I suppose the boy earns something." "Well," said the Sheriff, "she has taught that boy a good set of principles." " Yes; they may do to die by, but will not do to live by." CHAPTER VI. A GOOD DINNER WINS THE HEART DOUBTFUL PRO GENITORS. WE left Kate Glewer bustling about her little house. A woman is very certain to reach her husband s heart if she goes via the stomach. Indeed, we know it is the only safe route there is. Mrs. Kate Glewer brought out a clean table-cloth with napkins and that was not the day for a clean table-cloth either. She dressed herself with unusual care; placed fresh flowers in the vases; drew the shades of the windows down just to that point which gives a quiet light and makes everything look orderly. We declare to you, reader, as we look in on that home, we do not see how any man could have more comfort. But Tom is very like the rest of mankind and womankind too the more they have the more they want. "Going to have company, Kate?" said Tom, looking about as he entered the house. " No one but you, Tom." "Everything looks so sort of fixey. I didn t know but you expected company. I made a sale to-day to some folks up country," said Tom, as he went on lathering his hands with soap. " That is good," replied Kate, dishing up the joint and sundries, and arranging them on the table to the best pos sible advantage. " I thought you must have had good luck to-day, you look so good-natured." " Not much luck; still a little better than it has been for a few weeks." 46 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. "Everything is ready now, Tom/ "Yes, I ll be there; let me snag out my wool a little/ 3 said Tom, as he stood x before the glass combing his hair. They were soon seated at the table facing each other. Kate lifted the soup-tureen cover and handed Tom a dish of savory soup, which he ladled up to his mouth in a man ner that testified more for the goodness of the soup than a hundred words of praise would have done. The soup finished, Kate brought on a boiled trout with butter sauce. This, also, passed the same scathing criti cism. Then came the mutton with caper sauce; and pota toes so nicely prepared, they looked more like a pyramid of white cream than a dish of potatoes. This, with all the little entrees that go to make up a good dinner without be ing extravagant, were forthcoming. Kate took Tom s wine glass, gave it an extra rub although it was as bright as glass could be and turned out his claret. Little or no conversation was carried on during this course. When finished, Kate removed the dishes and brought from the oven a warm mince-pie, and such a pie as only an American- born woman can make. " Kate, that pie is prime," signified Tom, as well as he could with his mouth full. Next in order was a delicious cup of coffee, whose aroma could be smelt around the next corner of the street, if one can smell around a corner. As she handed Tom his large china cup filled with this exhil arating beverage, she asked him if he would have cognac in it. Tom thought he would have a few drops. This was handed him. Then she went into the next room, and opened a drawer, where Tom kept his "promiscuosities." She was after a cigar. This she found, and handed it to Tom, who began to look ruddy after he had taken a few swallows of his coffee. Kate wondered if it was time to begin. " No, I think I will let him drink it all first, and smoke a little way on his cigar." ADOPTING A CHILD. 47 There is always an unpleasant dread in approaching things which we are uncertain about; we are all anxiety to know, and yet we fear to know. Tom had whiffed away at his cigar some five minutes. Kate ventured out, "Tom!" " Well, Kate, what is it?" c I have been thinking for a long time how nice it would be for us to adopt a child." "I m thinking you are out of your head. This all comes from visiting orphan asylums. How the devil do you think we can take care of a child? Oh, I know you are crazy! How do you think we can take care of a child when we can only just scrape along now ?" " I would not ask you to clothe it, Tom." " Sposen you didn t, I should have to board it." " We always have more than we can eat, and could easily keep a child." " But it would be robbing the dog, and that I won t allow. Besides, who wants to take in the riffraff? Who d know who its father was ? He might be a horse-thief for all we could tell, and the child grow up like him. When I act as a father to a child, I shall be its father; it must be my own." c But, Tom, would it not be our own, if we should adopt it, and there was no one to say, why do ye so ? Besides, what you say about the child s father being a horse-thief." (Kate smiled a little smile at the thought of this objection.) "Don t you think we could bring it up so there would be no chance of its following in the footsteps of its father ? The father might be as good a man as you are. The poor mis guided mother may have hoped that some trustworthy per sons like ourselves would adopt her child." As Kate said this, she looked up, and Tom s eyes gave a little nervous twitch. He did not speak for a moment; when he did it was as follows : 48 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " Well! I should think you had it all cut and dried. Do you know of any such case ?" N No! b-u-tl " " But what?" " I know one of the brightest little fellows, about four years old, that you ever saw." "Bah," said Tom. He wanted to ask questions, but thought it best to restrain his curiosity. He believed there was danger in asking questions even more than in answer ing them. Besides, he understood enough of women to know that it would all come out in good time. " This child is in the Orphan Asylum; has been there ever since he was a baby left a few hours after he was born." "Yes, that is all very well; but I don t want him." " How do you know? You haven t seen him yet. Tom, do let me bring him over." "No! the next thing you will want will be to have him stay, and I am not to be caught in any trap of that sort." " Tom, please do let me bring him over." " What is the use," said Tom, " of saying no? If I say no a thousand times, you will twist and manage to make it appear that I have said yes, and you will bring the young whelp whether or no." " There, Tom, that s a dear, good fellow. I thought you would give your consent." " Who has said consent? I haven t." " But I saw it in your eyes." Kate arose and ran half way across the room, looking back over her shoulder in a playful way, as you have seen a child of eight or ten years pick up a stone and make a feint to throw it at her playmate. "Now I am going to throw. Now look out, it is coming! Now then! Now you are hit!" Thus she worries in a playful way the child until it does not know what moment it will come; or if it will come at all. Tom was just in this fix when Kate said, " I am A FOUR-YEAR-OLD BABY. 49 going to bring him; I am going to bring him, Tom." But she did not Add, as perhaps she might have done effectively, Look out now, you are going to be hit. 5 Tom dodged the supposed missile by saying, "I don t give my consent." 1 But you look it, and that will answer me/ Kate wished the conversation to change at this point, so she began to rattle away at her work and sing a little lullaby to restore harmony and may be to get herself in tune for the coming four-year-old baby. CHAPTEE VII. A HE A VY WOMAN IN A JUNKY LINE. ON a narrow by-street in the city of San Francisco stands an old-time house one of the old , forty- niners. Over the door of this house is a large board sign with a molding around the outer edge. Upon the black background are yellow letters, which read: "Jonas Pict- pink; old clothes bought and sold here." As you enter, the first thing that greets the eye is Mrs. Pictpink. The thought instantly occurs to your mind, how much more appropriate the letter S would be at the beginning of the last syllable in her name. Mr. Pictpink is not at home through the day. Mrs. Pictpink will tell you, if you in quire, that her husband is out "mit pusiness." But Mrs. P. is in, and to tell you the truth, she is equal to half a dozen like her husband, Jonas Pictpink, in the old-clothes line. She is an extensive woman; and as she figures to some extent with us, we think it best, in taking an inventoiy of her wares, to begin with the biggest thing first. This woman would, without doubt, weigh between two and three hundred. Her stiff black hair grew low down over the forehead. Her eyes were small, black, and glittering. The end of her nose was abrupt, and what is commonly known as a stub-nose. The wide mouth and thick rolling under-lip, with chin much too long to be in harmony with the rest of the face, all this combined, made up a face too brutal to be human. If she belonged to my nation I would not own her; therefore I have not the heart to pitch her back over the heads of her people BOUGHT AT LIVING PRICES. 51 Stretched the length of this shop was a rude counter, made of unplaned boards. Placed on the end of the counter toward the door is a mountain of coats, folded a la merchant tailor; coats of every grade in material, from the finest broadcloth to the roughest tweed; coats that would answer a dandy convict, or a negro whitewasher in the employ of the Government. To match these coats are pantaloons, vests, shirts, hats, shoes, suspenders, and every identical thing a man could want to fit out a complete wardrobe even down to a pocket handkerchief, and that could be silk, if he wished it. Over the counter, and hanging in exact space, were dresses There were silks and ten-cent prints. To match these dresses, Mrs. Pictpink would show you everything that went to make up a woman s wardrobe; a wardrobe that would answer some classes of ambition, even down to Mrs. Pictpink herself. All this side was devoted to cloth ing. On the other side were bits of iron, broken coffee pots, lamps, files, saws, a few pieces of crockery, and all sorts of trumpery. At the back end of this store was an other room; but that was private that is, whoever went in must be a sworn friend of Mr. and Mrs. Pictpink, or they must be presented by a sworn friend, or able to give the countersign. It might have been a lodge for Freemasons, for all an ordinary visitor knew. "I will give you five cents a pound/ said Madame Junk; " for you see, my good friend, I am buying them to make over for the poor." " Vat ish dish you dinks? Vivezent for dose coats? Veil, Mam! petter it ish I shust geves dem you." "Oh no! my good woman; I do not wish you to give them to me, I only wish you to sell them at living prices." " Veil, vas calls you living brices ? I will let you dem seven zent, and no one bit more." " AVhat! not if I take a dozen of each ?" "Vas calls you ich." 52 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " Why, a dozen coats, a dozen hats, and a dozen of every thing that men wear." Mrs. Pictpink looked penetratingly at Mrs. Junk. " Geves you dish alls to de boor beoples ?" " Yes; every iota of it." " Dish ist bretty pig pusiness mit der boor beoples." And Mrs. Pictpink eyed Madame Junk over and over. " No," she thought to herself, " this woman cannot be in the same business as I am." " Veil, den dakes you a dozen of ich seven zent bound?" " Will you send them to my house ?" " Ven comes my man py me. Yare ist der blace mit you sthay ?" Madame Junk gave her the right direction, and bowing in a patronizing way, she walked out. "What depraved parents that woman must have been born of!" thought Madame Junk. "Poor thing! she is not to blame for her nature. Her parents were to blame, and her parents par ents before them." From this biblical standpoint she could find an excuse for the shortcomings of all those whom she came in contact with. CHAPTEE VIII. EAGS AND ROWS HOME, SWEET HOME. ," JANE! JANE! Ho there ! Jane Junk. What the devil ^J are you about ? Take those rags off from that line hinstanter! "We are to ave ightoned company to-day, and the yard looks as if a city scavenger lived ere, instead of a respectable citizen/ The reader may wish to know who it is bellowing in such a vehement way for Madame Junk to take those rags off that line. It is no great secret, for almost every one knows Samuel Blower, Esq. Samuel Blower, Esq., was an Eng lishman, and, when in his own country, belonged to the serfs. It had been hinted by those who claim to know, that before Samuel Blower came to America, he had lived on the little end of nothing whittled down to a fine point. Be that as it may, Mr. Blower was never done giving America and all Americans particular fits. He was well-to- do now, and it was quite natural that he should forget the past. Samuel Blower lived in his own ouse now, and was married to Madame Junk s sister Betsy. Samuel Blower, Esq. , used to say that he had been all through our late civil war, and had come out without our late civil war going through him. It is true he served in the civil war, and at the expiration of it came out with a haversack. Why we mention the haversack is because it plays almost as conspicuous a part in Samuel Blower s matrimonial career as did Samuel himself. We have told you about a house which stood in front of Madame Junk s room. Well, this is where Samuel Blower and his wife Betsy live. You will 54 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. not require to make more than one call before you learn whose " ouse" it is. Since the war closed, Mr. Blower had put by, in clean cash, a snug little sum for future rainy days. Samuel was prudent, very prudent. Every morning, before leaving his " ouse," he placed three matches on the table for Betsy s use. It was in vain for Mrs. Blower to hint that one or two of those matches might miss fire. She was told that she must be careful that they did not. Samuel s mother had always regulated herself to three matches per day, and it was a great note if his wife could not do the same. . Madame Junk had agreed to pay the rent of this room by working for her sister on washing day, and general cleaning day, which came twice a week; for Mrs. Blower was as far one way as Madame Junk was the other way. Thus it was that extremes met in this family. At the open ing of this chapter Madame Junk had just finished clean ing a parcel of old clothes and had hung them on her sis ter s line to air. True, callers might have thought Samuel s wardrobe large; but that fact would not have attracted so much attention as the selection of it, for some of these coats were antiquated in their make-up. Whatever Samuel Blower s faults may be, the reader cannot blame him for wishing to have those rags removed from the line, When Samuel went into his ouse he asked his wife what hunder the eavens and earth her sister was going to do with all that truck on the line. " The Lord may tell," replied the wife; " she may be go ing to dress up a gang of Mexican bandits for all I know. It would be just like one of her capers." "Poh! poh! There is no Mexican bandit nor hany hother that would wear such duds." "Do you know," said Mrs. Blower, " she has a great bag ful of hats, and she keeps a jugful of logwood dye. She dips a brush in this and brushes them over a few times, and really some of them look quite well." GIVING TO THE POOR. 55 "That is strange they should look well after dying." Both laughed softly at this last remark. " And I actually think she has a cord of old boots and shoes. Just the other day there was a little nigger boy in front of the house who had on a pair of boots some man had thrown away. I saw Jane leaning over the fence scan ning the boy s feet. I heard her say, My boy, are those the best boots you have? c Yeth, mum. 5 Come in here/ said Jane, c and I will give you a better pair. In about ten minutes I saw him going out with a very good- looking pair of boots on. If ever you saw a happy nigger he was one. He was one big grin, and you could have seen his teeth half a mile." "Let me catch a nigger in the yard of my ouse and I ll boot him. Eavens and earth! that woman will toll a set around my ouse that will steal a man s heye-teeth hout of is ead." At the word teeth Mrs. Blower clapped her hand to her mouth to feel if her false set was gone, but they were there, and her tongue too. " But look here, Samuel, if this should get out, that we refuse to allow Jane to be charitable and give a poor negro boy a pair of old boots it might hurt your business. And oh! I would not for the world it should get into the church;" and Mrs. Blower clasped her hands with holy horror. " I could never hold up my head again. I could never look Dr. S. in the face. It was only last Sabbath he took for his text, Giving to the poor is lending to the Lord. " (Mrs. Blower grew quite animated.) "How well he handled the subject! He said we must give them something beside money and clothes ; we must give them religion and education. "We must develop the refined part of their natures, bring the soul up to a high and pure standpoint of religious culture. He said the first oath was but the whispering of the second; that the first falsehood was but a step toward a downward road that must inevi tably end in ruin." 56 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. "Dry up, Betsy! Weren t Hi there and eard all that jargon?" "Don t you speak to me in that way, Sam Blower! I won t allow a man to talk in that way to me." 1 You ? You will do big things ! If Hi want to kick a nigger Hi will do hit; and hif you hain t mighty careful Hi will kick the whole caboodle of you hout after im." " A mule might kick a woman, but a man never would." "Call me a mule, do you? you old dragon! Well, nothing but a mule would marry such an old maid as you was. Hi m a fool to live with you; a fine-looking young man has Hi ham could marry plenty of young, good-look ing girls." "Go! go! why don t you go?" screamed Betsy. " Well, Hi will. Where is my aversack?" "Here it is," and Mrs. Blower flew to the closet and brought out that time worn and warworn bag, and threw it at Samuel s head. "There, take your haversack. It is all you have got. I have the bank-book, and every cent you have got in the world is in my name;" and Mrs. Blower smUed so diabolically that she showed her false teeth all around. At this juncture there came a soft rap at the door. It opened and Madame Junk glided in. " Brother and sister, what is the matter ? You are talking in such a high key that the people are stopping on the walk to listen. Do be quiet;" and she went up to her brother-in-law, placed her hands upon his shoulders, and looking into his eyes as a mother would do to a refractory son, said: " Samuel, what has gone wrong ?" " Hi never can ave hany conversation with that thing without getting hinto just such a blow. There hain t a decent man in the world that could live with er. What man would stand being called a mule ?" "And I should like to know," screamed Betsy, "what dignified, respectable member of a church and a descend- AFRAID OF THE POOR. 57 ant of Oliver Cromwell would stand it to be called a dragon?" If Madame Junk thought so too, she did not say so. She only said, " Betsy, do be quiet, and try and live in more harmony with your husband." " Yes, Jane, that is the thanks I get for taking your part. The row began about you." " I regret," said Madame Junk, "that I should be the cause of so much unhappiness between man and wife. If you will tell me where I have been in fault, I will try and not have it happen again." " Well, Jane," said Samuel, " you see Hi do not like to ave hall these scallywags coming hinto the yard of my ouse." "Tell the truth! tell the truth!" chimes Betsy; " you said you would kick " " There, there, Betsy; I don t want to hear that part of it." " Hi m afraid they will steal hall we ave." " I don t know what you are afraid of, as you have nothing to steal but your old haversack, and I am sure no nigger would take that as a gift." " Sister Betsy, do be quiet, and let me talk to Samuel. Brother and sister, I will be responsible for all things which are stolen. And you know, Samuel, when I give my word I always keep it. I don t want to offend you. This morn ing when you scolded me about the coats on the line, I re moved them." However much Samuel Blower sputtered about Madame Junk behind her back, he had very little courage when he carne to face her. Somehow, her tone seemed to soothe him, and bring back from his childhood days the vision of his mother. Madame Junk managed him as she would a great naughty boy. She went out and brought in a cup of strong coffee, and bade him drink it. She told him such fits of rage were 58 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. dangerous, and he would rupture a bloodvessel. "And Betsy, it will totally destroy your nervous system." After Samuel had drank the coffee, Madame J. brought his hat and cane, and told him to go down town. She made Betsy a cup of tea, and told her to go to bed and take a good nap. This haversack scene was rehearsed twice every week. Twice every week Madame Junk smelt brimstone. CHAPTEE IX. JOEL MEETS THE WILDCAT THE EFFECT OF DOCTOR SMARTS RED REMEDY. tl TOEL, I want to have you go down to Mr. Jonas Pict- ^_J pink s and bring up that sack of goods I purchased there. I do not see that they are likely to send them. 3 " "What shall I say, mother?" "Why, say that Mrs. Junk has sent you for those things that she bought a few days ago." " That s a pretty rough hole, mother." " Yes, I know, Joel; but a great deal of good may come out of a bad-looking place." Joel never questioned Madame Junk s judgment in re gard to places. Child as he was, he understood that her motive was always good. No amount of experience could make this woman hold any one responsible for what he did. Every one that did wrong was born wrong. She believed in the gentle guidance of the law rather than its force. She believed in law as an educator. She believed in rules; but those rules should be to instruct, and that instruction should be the highest and best way of propagating the American race. Could this last-named object be attained, she opined the force of law would not be required. She taught Joel that all evildoers were objects of pity. She pictured to him that they were poor foolish things that did not know enough to do right. To a high-spirited boy this class of teaching would have more effect than it would to tell him that all noted rascals knew the right but braved the wrong. 6O MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " Vas isli dish vants you, letel poy?" " Mrs. Junk sent me down for a big bag of rags she bought here a few days ago." " Veil, if it ish rags she wants, dis ish not der blace." "Well, old clothes, then," said Joel. " Dat vomans you call Shunks has blenty boor bepels." " Yes/ returned Joel. " Vat ish dish you do by der daytimes ?" " I run about for my mother, and carry papers to the prisoners every morning." As Joel finished speaking, the woman bent her shaggy head forward, and her small glittering eyes were fixed upon the boy with an expression that would remind you of a snake, just ready to jump and fix her fangs in your flesh. It was but momentary. She brought out the sack and made a show of finding a string to tie it up with; but it was in reality to consume time. Makes much monish mit babers ?" "No!" She brought from under the rude counter a paper box with candy, and asked Joel to take some. Joel took one or two pieces and began munching them, while she shook up the bag. This done, she leaned her arms on the counter and rested her chin in the palm of one hand. " Poy, ish him you calls Shunks your mutter?" "Yes." "Vas name ish ter utter von?" "Joel." " Shoel Shunks? Likes you monish, letel poy? "Every one likes money." The face of the hag brightened. "Veil, here ish two- bit." " What is that for?" asked Joel. "Foryer, letel poy." " I don t want it; I haven t done anything for it." " Veil, yer shust agoing ter." INCLINATION WAS THE STRONGEST. 6 1 " Do you mean that you would have to pay a man to take it if I didn t?" " Shust so, letel poy." "Well, then I will take it." Joel picked up the sack and was walking toward the door when she cried out : " Sthop a letel! Prings pack der sack." As she said this she walked to the opposite side of the room, and fumbling about in a box handed Joel a good-look ing jack-knife. " I gives you dish you prings pack the sack." Joel looked longingly at the knife; at the same time he thought the two bits would pay him for the whole job, and indeed it was more than he usually received for such jobs. But to what boy on earth is not a good-looking pocket- knife full of steel blades a temptation, and more especially if he has none ? The principles that Madame Junk had taught him said no; but inclination said yes. Inclination was the strongest and he took the knife. All the way home he was thinking, " Shall I tell mother? I have always told her everything. Yes, I will tell her about the two bits. She will think that is all right; but if I tell her about the knife she will make me take it back again; she is so queer; she will say it is too much. If I keep the knife I can t carry it. She gave her word that I should never carry a knife into the jail. She has told me I must not break her word. It s bad enough for a body to break his own word, but it is mighty mean to break other folkses. If I keep the knife, I can hide it and use it some times. I wish I knew what to do. Bah! what an ugly old woman ! I can t help thinking about that cat I dreamt scratched my face so, and mother said my dream had a meaning. But Mrs. Pictpink can t be that cat, for she ain t half spry enough for a cat ; she couldn t jump out of a tree;" and the thought of that two hundred and fifty pounds jumping out of a tree, set Joel into a laugh. While Joel was gone for those goods, Madame Junk re- 62 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. raerabered that she had promised to call upon that poor, blind, lungless woman of the tin cup. She hastily threw on bonnet and shawl; taking little Sternna by the hand she led her to school a little pay-school taught by an old maid by the name of Sally Busy. True, Sternna was rather young to attend any school; still Madame Junk thought it better to place Sternna under the care of an upright relig ious person like Miss Sally Busy than to take the child about with her. As we are much too busy to enter into the minu- tia of Miss Busy s character at this point, we will encour age the reader by promising that she shall have the floor by and by. Madame Junk kissed Sternna and bade her be a good girl and mamma would call for her soon. Madame Junk walked briskly down the street with her free dispensary hanging on her arm, which contained Doctor Smart and other herbs. If she could find that poor blind woman who labored so hard for breath, she would cure that short breathing. She marched directly for thirty-four Drunk Street, and found a small wooden building just ready to tumble down. Glancing up to an upper window she saw a face and figure which greatly resembled that of our poor, blind, lungless friend. But there was no cup, no visor, no placard. " Yes," thought Madame Junk, that must be the poor creature s brother." She gave a distinct rap at the street door; no one came; she turned the knob and walked in and up the black uncarpeted stairs through a narrow dark hallway, and tapped at the door. A manly, sonorous voice bade her come in. The man was evidently much aston ished; it was clear he was looking for another person. " I presume," said Madame Junk, " you are the brother of the poor blind person I called to see. Did your sister speak to you about a woman that would call and assist her?" "Yes, mum; she was after spaking to me about it," said the man, recovering himself, and remembering Madame Junk s voice. HOT IT IS, BE JABERS. 63 " I came at twelve o clock, thinking to find her in." " Well, muni, it is very bad she is. She was a broth of a girl; but bad luck to us all since she lost her eyes." " She is very much afflicted with her lungs," said Madame Junk, taking out her red pepper, and shaking out a portion in a separate paper. " There; when your sister comes in, mix this with milk, and tell her to swallow it down without stopping to taste, and she will find it will be a great benefit to her lungs. You very much resemble your sister." " Wid the grace of God, we was twins, mum." " "What do you do for a living ?" asked Madame Junk. " Divil a bit ken I be after doing. I shlipped, and broke me side;" and he laid his hand on the maimed place. Madame Junk prescribed a plaster, and told him she would send a physician to examine him. " What is your name, sir ?" " Hickey, mum." " Hickory ?" said Madame Junk. " Hickey, save in your prisence." Madame Junk then told the man if he or his sister should want clothing, to call at her house, giving him the name and number, and they would be provided with such things as they needed. When this lady had walked through the dark hall, she retraced her steps, and, putting her head in at the door, told the man not to forget the remedy for his sister. Hiven bless you, mum, and shure I ll not be forgetting it." As Madame Junk was feeling her way out, she thought, * I half believe that man is deceiving me; but if he is he cannot help it: he was doubtless born wrong." When Madame Junk was safely out of doors, the poor blind person proceeded to examine the contents of the paper. He wet the end of his forefinger, and picked up a grain or so and tasted it. " Hot it is, be jabers. I ll not be waiting for my sister, if it is good." He lifted it to his 64 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. nose to ascertain what it was by smelling; he took a good snuff, that set him sneezing and coughing so violently that the paper was jerked out of his hand, and fell on the floor; a cloud of red dust arose and flew into his eyes, ears, and nose. He fell on the floor, rolled over and over, getting more and more of this pepper on his clothing and hands. He began rubbing his eyes, coughing and sneezing, until he was in actual danger of having a broken side. If his lungs were all right before, they were not now. At inter vals, and when he could catch his breath, he howled, "Holy Mary, Mother of Jesus! save me, and I will never decaive any more at all, at all." The poor wretch thought that the Blessed Virgin, in her wrath at his sinful falsehoods, did actually mean to take away his eyes and lungs, and make a rupture in his side; and, we must confess, at the present outlook, there is a very good show for it. After he haci bellowed and roared for half an hour, he thought he would crawl out; but this time without his visor and tin cup. He had other business on hand; he must attend to his drool ing; and it was extremely doubtful if he would ever do any thing in the tincup line again. Meanwhile Madame Junk pursued the even tenor of her way, all unconscious of the disastrous result of Doctor Smart s red remedy. " Mother," said Joel, "Mrs. Thingumbob down there gave me two bits for bringing up the duds." As he said this, he tossed the sack around from his shoulder and squatted it down on one end. " Well, Joel, she was very kind; and I have no doubt she would have been an excellent person if she had been born under better circumstances." But as Joel is scarcely old enough to comprehend Madame Junk s obtuse mean ing on the question of being born, it leaves no avenue open for a discussion of the subject with him. "Mother, is Mrs. Pictpink a good woman?" "I hope so, Joel." " "What do you say hope so for ? Don t you know so ?" MUST BE OLDER. 65 " I do not know much about her; I have only seen her when I have been in to purchase clothes. Why do you ask?" " I don t know. I feel cold when she looks at me. She makes me think of a wild animal/ "Poor thing," said Madame Junk. " Joel, when you are older, and have studied books, I shall tell you how all these discrepancies of the human family come about." "What is the meaning of that long hard word, mother?" " Why, things that don t agree contrary things." "Oh! that s it, is it? Well, I don t believe there is a Dutch dictionary in the world that s got a word big enough to cover that woman." Joel set off in a silent train of thoughts, which, if they had taken form, would have been in this wise : God s mill must have a great defect somewhere to grind out such coarse lumps. Joel s mother had always told him, " God s mill ground slow but sure." In Joel s mind this mill was affixed to Madame Junk s pet theory; he thought it one and the same thing. True, our Joel had not arrived at the years of understanding. He knew naught of nature s laws and the Bible, and that where there is wheat there must be chaff; and that God will separate them in His own good time. CHAPTER X. RELIGIOUS QUESTIONS ANSWERED MEETING WITH HIGHTONERS GREAT EXPECTATIONS. 11 T 7T T^ELL, mother," said Joel, entering the room, y y "Mr. Spencer is dead. He will be buried in the graveyard for the poor/ "Yes, yes!" sighed Madame Junk; "that is the way when a man has no money or friends." "If we are all God s children, and he is as good as you say he is, I should think he would take better care of his good children anyway; them that mind him right and do what he tells them." Joel ! Joel ! I do wish you would not talk in that irrev erent way." " What s irreverent ?" " It is disrespect to God." "Why, mother, I respect God as much as any one. I don t know; you say He is a good man, and I believe you." "Joel! Joel!" spoke Madame Junk in tones of despair. " God is not a man. He is an all-pervading Spirit. We cannot see him in the form of a body. He is all-wise, all- powerful; and not a sparrow falls to the ground unknown to Him. He knows the number of hairs on your head." "But, mother, you told me the Jews hung Him upon a cross, and stuck spears in Him, and spit in His face?" " That was the Son of God, my child." " Did God have any girls in the family?" " No, my child; he had but one Son, and he died to save sinners." "Oh! will that save them?" WHAT A WOMAN CAN DO. 6j "Not unless they try to do right, and ask God to help them; trusting and believing in His holy word." " Who was God s wife ?" "I told you He was an invisible power, all-supreme." " Who was mother of His Son ?" asked Joel, looking very thoughtful, and trying hard to understand. " Mary, the blessed Virgin/ " What s a virgin, mother ?" " A very pure woman, Joel. When you are a few years older you will understand the blessed Bible better." Joel hoped so. The boy muttered something about he could not see head or tail to it now. The more his mother talked the less he understood. He was tangled up and could not see his way out. Joel had never been to Sabbath-school. Madame Junk assured him that he was doing a greater work for the Lord by carrying a load of religious tracts to the prisoners of a Sabbath morning. Joel knew it was much harder work; and if he sometimes doubted about its being as pleasant a one as that of attending Sabbath-school, he was not to blame. Shakspeare talks about a "tide in the affairs of men." We shall make bold to apply this much-quoted saying to boys. There is no just cause why boys should not have a "tide in their affairs" as well as men. Joel will have a "tide" soon, and we trust it will take him where he can understand the Scriptures a little better. The Hon. Amos Goliah Smith s term in Congress had expired. He would be nominated the second time, and without a doubt would be elected; at least his friends con fidently expected he would be. True, he had a competitor, and that competitor had a vast deal of money; as much, if not more, than Goliah himself. Senator Smith s newspaper organ came out with great headings to long articles, bidding the populace to " look out for spruce-beer, grapes, and watermelons," for Senator 68 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. Smith s competitor was on tlie temperance ticket, while Goliah was on the straight out-and-out ticket. No sugar and water on his ticket. " Milk for babes," was his motto, and something a little stronger for adults. If a man don t require bracing up through the hot contest of a campaign, Senator Smith would like to know when he did. If a man did not require to have his head level, his nerves firm, his reasoning faculties cooled with watermelons during the set tling of the momentous question of electing a member for Congress, Mr. Sampson would like to know when he did? It was a fair contest; both men had money, influence and brains. Both men had families. I don t know whether they had both had the "measles" or not, but they both had everything else they wanted. Madame Junk read the daily papers, and saw that Goliah was up for nomination, and thought, " Now is my time; he shall see what a woman can do. Yes/ thought she, " if I can only get that bill introduced, it will pass, I am sure. What man that is just could say that a prison reform is not needed. Yes, yes, I see my way through." The lady arose, walked to a little shelf on the wall, took down an old dictionary, snapped the leaves across her thumb, until she came to a soiled half sheet of foolscap and a yellow envelope; then she moved to the kitchen table, and wrote the follow ing letter: DEAR SIR : I have been waiting for a favorable opportunity to show my gratitude, and, in some degree, to return your most liberal kindness to me and mine. I see by the press you are up for election. I congratulate you, and shall pray to God for your success. I shall espouse your cause; I shall give my time and strength, with what ability I have, to advance your success. I feel confident you are the right man in the right place. By the grace of God, I hope you may win. I shall proceed at once to work upon the minds of those whom I come in contact with. Hoping this will meet with your kind approval, and with an earnest prayer for your success, I have the honor to remain, Your obedient servant, To the Hon. A. G. SMITH. JANE JUNK. JOEL MAKES A CALL. 69 Just as Madame Junk finished this epistle, Joel entered. " Do you feel very tired, Joel ?" " No, not much," returned Joel. " Why?" " I would like to have you take a letter to Senator Smith s residence, and wait an answer/ " Now, mother, I do not mind going about amongst ruff- scuffs, but I do hate to go among the hightoners." " Tut, tut, boy! you are now old enough to see something of the better class. I do not mean better class," said Madame Junk, correcting herself; " I mean those who live in nice shape." As she spoke, she began poking behind the long chest, and brought to light a pair of shoes that looked very little better than the ones Joel had on. These were brushed. The jug of logwood dye was next resorted to, and Joel s old hat grew wondrously black under the skillful hand of Madame Junk. She darned places on his coat and vest, and touched them up with the same fluid. A clean white shirt and a red neck tie was about all the extra fixing he could have. Somehow the boy did not look shabby. You would have passed him for an ordinary dressed schoolboy. " If his clothing is com mon, his face is not," thought Madame Junk. Looking Joel over, she discovered he had no gloves. Another search was instituted for gloves. They were not long in finding a pair of light drab ones that had been washed several times. Joel put them on; held up his hands, looking at them very doubtfully. The fingers were too long and too wide; but his mother assured him it was a positive sign of good breed ing to wear some sort of gloves, even if they were poor. " Joel, when you see a woman---no matter how poor she may be, or how poor her gloves look if she is a lady, and has been well taught, she will never appear out without gloves." "Well, mother, a boy ain t a lady." " I know! I know! Joel; but I wish Senator Smith to see you have been taught manners." 7O MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. This last reason for wearing gloves was a clincher, and Joel looked no further objection. "It looks like rain, Joel/ said Madame Junk, taking down an old umbrella that hung on the wall. Pulling down the folds and lapping one tightly over the other, and pin ning them all down fast, it gave the umbrella a well-be haved go-to-meeting sort of a look. "When you enter the hall, place your hat and umbrella on the rack. Don t hold your head down as if you were never in such a place before; but look up as if you were as good as the best. Don t remove your gloves. You will not remain long enough for that." Joel glanced at his hands and thought it would not take long to take them off and put them on again. "Ring the bell, and when the servant comes send up your name." Madame Junk handed Joel a bit of a card cut out from a white paper box, on which she had written, in decided character-hand, the name of Joel Junk. "If the servant returns and tells you the Senator is en gaged, you tell the servant to inform that gentleman that you have a letter for him, and that it is a matter of great importance. After the interview, you must bow so " (Mad ame Junk s forehead almost touched the floor), " and thank him." As Joel was moving down the steps, Madame Junk put her head out of the door and called out, " Give him my respects, Joel! " Joel walked on briskly. He felt light, for it was not often he went out or came in without a bundle. In a quarter of an hour he had reached the mansion of Hon. A. G. Smith. He ran up the marble steps and rang the bell. A servant opened the door, and looked at Joel from head to foot. "What do you wish, boy?" " I want to see Senator Smith.*" "He is engaged and will not be disturbed." I DIDN T KNOW ANY ONE WAS HERE. Jl " It is a matter of great importance," said Joel, handing the servant his card. The man glanced at it, smiled, and. told Joel to step into the hall and wait a moment, and he would deliver his message, thinking, no doubt, it was a tele gram which must be answered without delay. The ser vant tapped at the door of the Senator s private room where that gentleman was closeted with two friends. The servant handed the Senator Joel s card, at the same time delivering his verbal message. The Senator read the card and bethought him of Madame Junk. " Show the gentleman into my study and ask him to wait half an hour. If he cannot wait, come to-morrow morn ing." The servant returned to Joel. " Can you wait half an hour?" "Yes, Sir." Joel was shown into the study; he took a seat on a small divan in one corner, and, glancing around the room, his eyes encountered the figure of a young miss, who we should say was ten or twelve years of age. She was sitting on an ottoman under a drop-light t and so much engaged in a story, she did not observe Joel enter. This gave the boy a good opportunity to give her a good look. He never be fore had a chance to see how "hightoners" looked in their own homes. She must have been reading something which amused her greatly, for she gave vent to a hearty musical laugh, that was so spontaneous that Joel laughed too, in very sympathy. The little lady sprung to her feet, her long blonde hair hanging in wavy masses about her neck, her head slightly bent forward, her blue eyes wide open, her red lips half parted, and her hands clasped. Could an artist have painted her as she stood there, he would have no need to write " Astonishment" as the title of his picture, for it would speak for itself. " I didn t know any one was here," said she. There Joel sat, with his great loose cotton gloves on, with 72 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. a hand on each knee. He thought he had never seen any one half so pretty in all his life. " Did you want to see my father?" said Miss Came. " Yes/ said Joel, finding his tongue at last; " I was told to wait here half an hour." "Oh!" and the little lady sat down on the ottoman and looked at Joel s gloves. Poor Joel! She saw that he felt uncomfortable, and pleasantly asked him what school he attended. " I don t go to school," replied Joel. " My mother gives me lessons at home." ""What books do you study?" And Carrie began her questions in a true womanly way. " Well, I study such books as other boys study." " Do you study all day?" "No; I go down to the jail every morning, and study in the afternoon." "To the jail!" exclaimed the girl in tones of great sur prise. "Yes; I carry the prisoners papers." ""What, those dreadful bad men? What do they want to read for?" "Oh, to find out things," replied Joel, with an expres sion of wisdom on his face. It was so nice to have an out- and-out hightoner ask him for information. " How do they look? Ain t they dreadful wicked? Do tell me something about them. Ain t you afraid to go in there?" "Not a bit," said Joe, by this time feeling himself quite a hero. " Are they kind to you ?" asked the girl. At this ques tion Joe was silent for a moment. He was thinking how kind they had been to him. He was thinking of Dick Spencer. " Are they kind to you?" asked the girl again. " Every one of em is kind to me," said Joel emphatically. CARRIE AND JOEL. 73 " They always tell me to do right, and not be brought down where they are. They have told me the first bad step leads to another." " Why don t they try to do right now?" asked the girl. * Our minister says it is never too late to ask Grod to help us. What do they try to break out of jail for ?" <l I guess they don t want to be shut up." "What is your name?" said the girl, as if the thought came upon her suddenly. < < JoelJunk. What s yours ?" " Carrie Smith. Do you play chess? "No." " Can you play authors ?" -No." " What can you play?" " Mumble-the-peg." I What is that?" " Oh! it is a very hard game. I don t think a girl could learn it." Joel was much pleased that he had hit upon something she did not know. At this moment the Senator entered. " Where is the gentleman, Carrie ?" " What gentleman?" II Mr. Junk," replied the Senator. At this juncture Joel stood forth. "That s my name. Here is the letter mother sent you. She would like an answer." " Yes, yes! Sit down while I read it. Carrie, go to the drawing-room." Carrie gave her father the usual good-night kiss, and walked toward the door. When she had reached it she turned about, made a little bow to Joel, and moved her lips in the form of good night. The Senator was reading, and did not notice the move ment. When he had finished reading Madame Junk s very friendly letter, he turned pleasantly to Joel, and said : /I 74 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " There is nothing in your mother s letter that requires an answer. Tell your mother that whatever she does for me shall be rewarded by a liberal compensation; that I am truly thankful for her kind wishes in the matter of which she speaks. As the Senator was silent a moment, Joel thought the in terview was at an end. He arose, made that low bow, and said, " Thank you. Good night," and moved toward the door. " Wait, boy," called out the Senator. And Joel returned to the centre of the room, and stood with his arms hanging down by his side, with his great loose gloves just ready to fall off. " Mrs. Junk is your mother, I take it ?" " Yes, Sir." " "What do you for a living ?" Joel related the story of the papers and the prisoners in nearly the same strain as the reader has heard it before. * Do you receive pay for this work?" " Sometimes, but not for the religious papers and tracts I take on Sunday. These are given to mother by the churches, and other societies, to give away to em that don t know anything about the Bible and God. There is a few that pay me for daily papers." "Humph!" grunted the Senator; " I see you work very hard for very poor pay." " Mother says my pay will come by and by." "Does she? Your mother is full of faith." And the Senator was fumbling about in his pockets. He took out a piece of coin, shading it with his fingers as a gentleman does when he hands a hostler or a servant his perquisite. No one could see the money, but we shall credit him with five dollars. Joel s experience had accustomed him to the motion, and by the time the Senator had his hand extended toward Joel, Joel said: I HAVEN T EARNT IT. 75 "What s that for?" " It is for you." "Much obliged! Don t want it, thank you." "Why?" "I haven t earnt it. I never take money for nothing;" and Joe looked up with such a lofty expression that he would have done for a hero in a first-class romance. The Senator gave a little cough, and a short dry laugh; folded his arms over the small of his back and began walking up and down the room. Joel made another move for the door, when the Senator stopped him with : "Look here, boy; in two or three weeks I shall have plenty for you to do. Suppose you take the money. You may need it." "A good paymaster pays when the work is done," said Joel, getting off one of his mother s sayings, without realiz ing he w r as paying the gentleman a doubtful compliment. Again Joel said: " Good night thank you." Again he was stopped by the Senator, who said: " What is your name ?" "Most everybody calls me Joe Junk; mother calls me Joel." "Well, Joel, let us see. To-day is Wednesday; will you call here two weeks from to-day?" "Yes, Sir!" The Senator walked to the door, held out his hand, and Joel placed his hand, cotton-glove and all, in that of his host, which that gentleman shook warmly, and said : "Goodnight, Joel." "Goodnight, Sir." The man of many millions continued to pace up and down the room, muttering to himself, "What does the little chap mean by refusing my money ?" His face wore an expression of kindly thought. Mayhap he was think ing of his boyhood days, when a mother taught him ster- 76 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. ling principles that mother who long years since had passed away. Perchance he was thinking how that mother struggled with poverty, and how comfortable he could make her now, were she with him. This train of thought was due alone to Joel s visit. He had witnessed a phase of life that was quite new to him. Here was a small boy, the poorest of the poor, giving a man of millions a lesson in honesty. However, he was not so much " of the earth, earthy," that he could not feel piqued. It was the first time he ever had his benevolence thrust back in his face, and that, too, with a frank outspoken reason; with a logic that would far outweigh his money. * Well, well !" thought the Senator, this is new. There is mettle in this boy that the musical jingle of gold will not buy. But then, he may become tarnished; but not while he is under Madame Junk s thumb. Yes! I have no doubt the redemption of this nation devolves upon our mothers." Such were the Senator s thoughts for the last half hour. Meanwhile Madame Junk sat trimming her light and list ening for Joel s footstep. "What can be the matter?" were her thoughts. Ever and anon she turned her head, and looked at the rosy slumbering little girl, who was dreaming of anything but the coming election. "Here it is ten o clock, and Joel not come. Can anything have hap pened to him ? Or has the Senator taken a fancy to him, and is keeping him to talk? I should not at all wonder. Joel is very bright, and has an answer for everybody " and her fancy set off at full gallop after imaginary possi bilities. She saw Joel, President of these United States, and herself presiding at the White House; and Sternna a beautiful belle. She saw her sought and won by an En glish duke. And in this moment kind Madame Junk thought of all the poor. She would have a prison reform adjacent to every prison in the United States. In that hour she revolutionized the entire continent of America. She had the people en masse born over again, and she was only A LIBERAL COMPREHENSION. 77 brought back to her own small room by Joel coming up the steps whistling " Ten Thousand Miles Away." What in the world has kept you so long ? " "Business, " replied Joel, with a consequential air. "Where is the letter?" " I hain t got no letter." "What! no answer?" " Yes, I have got an answer, but no letter." "What is it?" " The gentleman told me to tell you that for all your kindness you should have a liberal comprehension." " Why, Joel, it could not be that." " Well, it was contemplation then." "No! no! you must be mistaken. Was it not compen sation ? " " Maybe twas; or consplutteration, or some such word." "Well, what else ?" " I am. to call two weeks from to-day; he has got some thing for me to do." " Just as I thought," muttered Madame Junk. " He offered me money, but I didn t take it." " That is right, Joel; that is right. Did it take all this time to say this ? " "No; but you see, when I got there the Senator was en gaged, and he sent word for me to wait half an hour; but I guess it was more than an hour." "Wliere did you sit?" " In a room where there was a writing-desk, a few books, and a girl. I thought I should be scared to talk to high- toners, but I weren t a bit. Why, they are just like us. Carrie talked to me just as good as if I was raised up fine. She looked at my gloves, though." " There! you see if you had not had gloves on she would not have been sociable. She knew by that you were well brought up." While this conversation was going on Madame Junk was 78 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. pulling out, from under her bed, some blankets and a straw- tick partly filled with straw. She proceeded to make Joel a bunk in one corner of the room, a place where he slept every night. " How old is the girl, Joel?" ( About as old as I be." "As I am, Joel. Did you see any one else?" "No." By this time Joel was safely under the blankets, and Mad ame Junk was tucking him in. After this she retired herself, but not to sleep. Her brain was too prolific for rest after such stirring events. Joel was soon off to the land of dreams, and, we trust, they will be more pleasant than they have been sometimes be fore; and when the wee small hours were coming in, Mad ame Junk dropped into a fitful doze; and if she talked in her sleep, she said, "How old did you say the girl was, Joel?" CHAPTEK XL YOU AND I FATHER AND SON. TV" ATE GLEWER believed in first impressions. With Iv this view, she had finished one of the most com plete Scotch suits that ever a four-year-old boy wore. The long plaid stockings, shoes with buckles, plaid skirt, with velvet waist, and one of the jauntiest hats, with graceful feather in true Scotch style. She was going to bring her boy home that day. We say her boy, for she had made up her mind he was hers. She had not come to this conclu sion in a day or a week, but she had been months about it. Whatever her motives were for taking such a step, they were well grounded, be assured. Catharine Glewer had no wish to oppose her husband. If, however, it was necessary to attain the right, she was a woman who, under those circumstances, would oppose all creation. That latent mysterious something about her had never been awakened by education. When we say education we do not refer to theoretical school education; we mean a knowledge of men and things; we mean a general under standing of all things pertaining to the age in w T hich we live; an intuitive knowledge of the depth and breadth of the world. These slumbering faculties she had. Had they awakened before she married Tom Glewer, Tom would have sought a helpmeet elsewhere, and Kate would have occupied the position that nature fitted her to adorn. As it is, she is plain Mrs. Tom Glewer. The world may never know her, or speak of her, as being great and beautiful; but the re- 8o MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. cording angel, in looking o er the list, will find her written there. " Here is the boy," said Kate, as she came leading in the nameless orphan. "Come, dear, shake hands/ 3 and she led the little fellow up to Tom, and dropped his hand. Tom took hold of the child s hand in a cool, apathetic way, as he would touch something he disliked to pick up. Kate took a seat at the opposite side of the room, ancj, as Tom made no further demonstration toward the child, she called him to her. It might have been for effect. The child had light blonde hair, that would have curled if it had been long enough; large blue eyes, and ruddy com plexion. The face was not of an aristocratic type; there was not much mettle in it, and no music; still there was nothing in the face to offend. It was innocent and quiet, without being sleepy. " "Well, what do you think of him?" said Kate, after Tom had looked at him five minutes. I suppose he looks as well as most young ones do at that age." " I hope you will like him," returned Kate, "for he is ours." " I want to know," said Tom, in a jocose way. " Yes, I have the papers; they are all drawn up, and are only waiting to be signed. I have adopted him." " Oh, you have! It takes two to make a bargain." " Not always," replied Kate. " I should have been glad to have had two in this bargain; but if I cannot I shall try to make out with one." " Whose house is this?" thundered Tom. "It is yours and mine," replied Kate, in very quiet tones. " Yours and mine ! "Well, that s the last thing out. May be you can tell me who supports it?" roared Tom. "You and I do," said Kate, in the same quiet way. Tom had been walking up and down the room while this THE NAMELESS ORPHAN. 8 1 conversation was going on. He stopped abruptly, squared around, and looked at Kate, to see if she was bereft of her senses. Her large brown eyes were very bright, but they did not look at all insane. She did not return his gaze with defiance, but firmly. " Did you not understand me, Tom? I said, that you and I support this house. You buy the food, and I cook it. We rent two rooms, which pays the rent of the whole house. These I take care of. I do the washing and iron ing. I buy rny own clothes, and make them, besides mak ing your shirts." " Well, what of that? Ain t it a wife s duty to do this ?" " I guess so; you say it is." " I should like to know what that has to do with your bringing that brat home ?" "Oh, Tom! don t say that you cannot respect yourself, and talk in that way. The child is not to blame; it is un manly in you." "None of your soft sawder around me. You cannot keep that child and live with me." " I did not object when you brought home two hounds, which cost more to keep than four children." " There is some fun in a dog." "For you," returned Kate. "Well, Tom, I know you will be good enough to let the child stay until I can find a good home for him;" and as she spoke she walked toward Tom, and, placing both arms about his neck, threw back her head, and put up such a tempting pair of lips, there is not a man on earth who could withstand such an argument. " Kiss me, Torn, and say you will." There, there !" He kissed her twice. I want you to be mighty lively about it. I don t want to be disturbed, when I come homG, by the crying of a child." " Why, Tom, he is not a baby; he don t cry." And she put in such a lot of pleadings for the child you would have thought it was an angel, and not Tom s own flesh and blood. 6 82 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. But we must do Tom the credit to say lie did not know it either. Tom went out muttering to himself: " It has always been the way. Eve bamboozled Adam into eating the apple, and all the women have been in the bamboozling business ever since." The first battle won, Kate had no fear of the second. But we must leave Kate and her adopted son, and look after other sons who are, according to " Pip s" idea, " brought up by hand." CHAPTEK XII. ALBION S DAUGHTER BUSY WITH YOUNG IDEASTHE CHE IS TIA N ADVOCA TE. "T "7T TE promised the reader that Miss Sally Busy should V V nave the floor after awhile. To do a good thing there is no time like the present. Miss Sally Busy was an English lady of much culture. She had, prior to her com ing to California, presided over a large boarding-school in Canada. Since her advent here she had been a sort of gov erness in her own apartments. She taught drawing, paint ing and music after school hours. This lady was somewhat gifted in the above-named arts. Moreover, she could write a Poem. Miss Sally Busy was remarkably tall, with very dark complexion, and eyes as black as a sloe. She had too much good sense to bleach her hair (had she done so, she would have been a fashionable monstrosity), so her hair was black too. Her lips were thin and her temper high- strung. She was about thirty years old, and had almost as much of a passion for carrying a bag on her arm as Mad ame Junk. Madame Junk thought she could not have selected a more competent teacher for little Sternna than Miss Sally Busy. She liked the child and the child liked her. It is certain that the English blood of Miss Busy felt a respons ive sympathy with Sternna s. Thus it was she took the live liest interest in the child. Miss Busy thought no common American blood flowed in that child s veins. That child was no American plebeian. Sternna passed hours with Miss Busy. The child developed great taste for drawing. 84 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. She advanced rapidly in all things which Miss Busy taught her. Months passed away and Sternna almost lived with Miss Busy, often remaining over night. Miss Busy began to dress the child; but ever deferring, in a ladylike way, to Madame Junk s opinion. Madame Junk had the child s best interest at heart, and so had Miss Busy. It will be strange when two such Christian women have the care of this child if they fail to make a good woman of her. About this time Madame Junk and Miss Busy conceived the idea of opening a little society for the children, who should meet in the apartments twice a week. It should include the boys. The purpose, in part, was to select suit able reading-matter, thereby setting the young mind upon the proper literary road. Speaking and composition were to be taken up also. They were also to be taught a cer tain etiquette -how to enter a room and how to leave it; the proper form of introduction; and various little accom plishments which polish up the exterior. It was then that Madame Junk regretted she had not finished her book on "The Proper Propagation of the American Race." She would have forthwith placed it in the hands of these juve niles for careful study. As it was, they were spared. Miss Busy ventured to ask Madame Junk if she thought the children were old enough to comprehend such a work. "With a little explaining, Madame Junk thought they would. So it was that, twice every week, Joel s hat was dyed over, and all his clothing underweDt a severe thump ing and brushing, and he was duly seated at Miss Busy s table, receiving such lessons as were ever afterwards a bene fit to him. Miss Busy was a beneficent episode in Joel s life. She taught him to declaim, in a truly heroic way, Schiller s "Diver." She developed in him a taste for poetry. She actually guided him around that dangerous place in a boy s life where he is inclined to read demoraliz ing literature. She took hold of his hand and, so to speak, jumped with him over that sensational chasm into which MISS BUSY S WORK. 85 our boys too frequently fall for the want of a careful hand to place them on the right road. Miss Busy worked with Joel in a field where brains were sown. The yield was good and the harvest must make Joel a man among men. Of all the children that Miss Busy taught, Sternna stood first and foremost. Sternna had great will and a pride that would not allow her to be a laggard; and as for taste and artistic endowment, Miss Busy said she was wonderful. It is extremely doubtful if she could now be induced, upon any pretext whatever, to appear in such a dress as she wore the day she called upon Senator A. G. Smith. Sternna had grown quite away from Madame Junk in her tastes. That good woman would bring out a dress made over from one some lady had given her. Sternna s critical eye would find a pucker here and a pucker there, which was out of order. It was all in vain for Madame Junk to expostulate or say it would do fur a school dress. Sternna would not wear it. Miss Busy saw how much the child suffered, and, little by little, began helping her out. It was the greatest punish ment for Sternna to wear clothing that was not cut right and made right. It was not that inordinate love of dress which is thought to belong exclusively to the female sex, but that disorderly or crooked things offended her eye. Kate Glewer was getting on nicely with her new charge. She had taught him to read and spell words with one sylla ble. The boy sat in his high chair between Tom and Kate as naturally as if it were his place by right of birth. Day by day Tom Glewer attended to the child; he looked like a father, and acted like one; at mealtime prepared the child s food and placed it on his plate; pinned the napkin about his neck, and rendered him other little fatherly services. They had given him the name of George Gregory Glewer. George was after a brother of Tom s, and Greg ory was after Kate s father. Kate thought the three G s sounded well for a man, but a little odd. And who knows but Tom thought it would look well upon a sign for a hard ware store. 86 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. Kate had frequently met Madame Junk while that well- meaning woman was on her rounds of mercy. In due course of time, and through Madame Junk, the three G- s were written upon Miss Sally Busy s entry-book, and the boy became one of Miss Busy s scholars. He was quick to learn from a book, but intuitively he was not over-precocious. Joel continued in the service of the Lord, to use Madame Junk s language. If Miss Busy did not wholly approve of this course, she had too much tact to openly disapprove; she trusted to time and Joel s increasing knowledge to set things right. Miss Busy was a religious person, and a church-going woman; at the same time she had her doubts about the Lord requiring children to serve him by going into obscure haunts; such places as Madame Junk had brought Joel up to visit for the purpose of redeeming some ingrate. This morning Joel was to call on Mrs. Jonas Pictpink, and return the sack. As he was passing down the street a gentleman touched him on the shoulder. "Are you the lad that carries the papers to the prisoners?" "Yes, Sir!" "Well, I have a package of good papers that I should like to have you take. If you will take them for me, I will give you one dollar." "I will take the papers, Sir; but I don t want a dollar. It is too much." " Well, then, I will give you whatever you think is right." " Two bits is enough, Sir. Where are the papers?" " They are in my room, just over the way. I want you to give them all to one man, Mr. Burns; he is on the second corridor, the fourth cell. When he has finished reading them he will hand them back to you, and you can distribute them among the others. You see there is an article run ning through the whole lot, that I would like him to read." " What paper is it, Sir?" "The Christian Advocate." HE IS A TIPTOP CHAP. 87 "Oh, all right!" "I have them all tied up compactly. I would not have a number lost for anything; so, please, do not untie them for fear you get them mixed with others." Joel walked over to the opposite side. The man flew up the stairs, and soon returned with the package of papers, which was tied up tightly with a strong cord. Joel dumped them into his bag, accepted the two bits, and went his way. We will take this opportunity to say something about this man. His dress was clerical, and he looked like a student of theology. He was a little above the medium height; lithe of limb, and comely in features; he wore no beard; had small white hands and small feet (we guess they were white too). If we knew his name we would tell you. Joel s reputation seemed established in and about the jail. No one questioned his trustworthiness; therefore this looking him over before he went in had fallen into disuse. It was a well-known fact that he was an honest boy, and one that received the best moral teachings at home. As Joel trudged along with his load of papers he was thinking, "To-morrow I m to call on the Senator. Wonder what he wants." " Good morning," said Joel, to the jailer. " Good morning, Joe," returned that worthy. " I wish you would unlock Mr. Burns s cell for me. I have a bundle of papers for him. A friend sent them. The gentleman told me there was an article running through them that he wished Mr. Burns to read." " I will. He is a tiptop chap. None of your small fry." " What s he here for ?" " For this;" and the jailer held up his fore and middle finger, touching the forefinger with the end of the thumb, and moved his hand back and forth in the form of writing. " Christian Advocate, hey? Ha! ha! ha! J guess this namby-pamby twaddle will fix him." The jailer unlocked the door, and Joel handed Mr. Burns the papers, at the same time delivering the verbal message. CHAPTEK XIII. TOO MANY GOOD THINGS WILL GIVE A MAN WINGS- ARRESTED AND IN JAIL. " TANE! JANE! Ho there, Jane Junk!" bellowed Mad- ^J ame Junk s estimable brother-in-law, Samuel Blower. Madame Junk put her head out of the door, and wanted to know what was wanted. Samuel nodded and smiled, bobbing his head over his shoulder as he turned to go into the house. " Ere is ha friend inquiring for you. E is ha rough- looking chap. E will ave to be born over, Hi m thinking." "With this piece of pleasantry, Samuel went into his ouse. " "What is it, my good man ?" said Madame Junk, coming down the steps. " By me sowl! it is divel a bit ye know me. It was after killing me ye was." " How? Explain yourself," said Madame Junk, not rec ognizing her peppered friend. " The sthuff ye left for me sister narely killed her brother. Nary a bit could I ate fur twinty days." " Oh!" said Madame Junk, just beginning to see that this was the brother of the poor blind woman; " How is your sister ?" May the Lord have mercy on her sowl ! She is died entirely." " Poor thing!" said Madame Junk. No wonder she did not know the man. He had lost at least twenty-five pounds of flesh. He was all rags and tat ters. One pantaloon leg slitted up to the knee; old slippers ME WHISTLE IS DRY. 89 on his feet, without socks; no vest or suspenders; a ragged shirt, without buttons, from which his bare, brawny neck protruded, burnt scarlet from exposure to the sun; a very- short, thin cotton coat, with its sleeves reaching a few inches below the elbow; a lady s white chip hat and you behold Madame Junk s old friend, who is not overfond of red pepper. There was a thoughtful, discouraged expression on Madame Junk s face as she looked at this man. " I see you are in need of clothing." " And, faith, a wee bit of a rag woll not be after making me sick." " Sit down on the steps, and I will see what I can do for you." The good woman went up the steps, and was not long in finding all the requisites for making a new man. But where could the man dress ? He could not dress out of doors, that was sure. Madame Junk, having but one room, she would sit on the steps while he was dressing. She laid everything out with as much care as if it were for a husband who was about to attend a ball. She opened the door, and bade the man come up. After giving him orders how to put them on, she retired to the steps to give him an opportunity to dress. Waiting some twenty minutes, she softly rapped at the door. "Most done?" "Arrah! and it is done, I am;" and Mr. Hickey stood before Madame Junk s small looking-glass, viewing himself with satisfaction. "If I had a bit of a mouthful to ate, I should be after faling like a gintlemen, entirely." "You shall have that," said Madame Junk, handing him a piece of meat and bread; of which he took a huge mouthful and pitched it from one cheek to the other, with the end of his tongue. He drew up his neck like a hen that has some thing in her throat she cannot swallow. "Me whistle is dry, and faverish; have ye a wee drop of the crater?". Madame Junk handed him a cool drink of water. He 90 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. touched his lips to it, and informed his hostess that he could not drink it. The last time he drank a glass it gave him the cramps in the stomach, and he fell down in a fit, which lasted two days. Madame Junk had donned her bonnet and shawl, and told the man to come with her. As they passed out of Samuel Blower s front gate, the neighbors were mean enough to say that Madame Junk had a beau. That lady s mind was upon other things. As she glanced at the man at her side she thought of the kingdom of heaven: "Do ye unto others as ye would they should do unto you." "Unless a man be born again, he cannot enter the king dom of heaven." Mr. Hickey was not en route for that place this morning; but for a high hill, some little distance from Madame Junk s abode, where fifteen or twenty men were at work, grading. Madame Junk called out the foreman of the job, and asked him to employ this man. She was informed he did not need any more men; but the lady held on with the tenacity characteristic of her, and at last succeeded in securing the work for her protege, at the rate of one dollar per day. As she turned about to congratulate the man upon his good fortune, he was nowhere to be seen. He had fled, leaving the lady crestfallen enough. The foreman laughed, and the men laughed; and, pointing in the direction of the city, said they saw the man run as if he were shot out of a gun. Madame Junk said she had done her duty, and turned and walked toward home, muttering every now and then, "Not born right! not born right! I declare, I must finish my work on the Proper Propagation of the American Kace." The next morning Joel left home on his daily mission. He had not proceeded far before he was arrested; his pack age of papers taken from him, and he was walked off to jail, and placed in the cell that was vacated last night. The fact of Joel s not returning to lunch did not surprise Madame Junk so much; but when evening came on, and no ARRESTED. 9 1 Joel, she became truly alarmed, and nervous. Her nerves had just received a fresh shock, for there was Samuel call ing in his usual way : "Jane! Jane! Ho there, Jane Junk; come hout!" She opened the door, when Samuel spoke more softly, with something of concern in his tone. "Come hover, Jane; I ve something to tell you." Poor Madame Junk, trembling in every limb, and full of apprehension about Joel, went over. She had not more than entered the door, when Mrs. Blower, who seemed anxious to be the first to break the unwelcome news, screamed: " Joel is arrested, and in jail!" "Joel arrested?" said Madame Junk, in a faint voice. " Yes, Jane. I ve always told you twould be so; I knew it would end in this way. I ve told you, time and time again, the boy would come to a bad end; and you see, I was right." " Old your tongue, Bet Blower; his that the way to talk when a body his hin trouble?" At length Madame Junk found words to ask what Joel was arrested for. Samuel picked up the daily paper and proceeded to read a detailed account of the proceedings, when there came a very loud rap at the door. Samuel opened it, and there stood two officers of the law. "Is Mrs. Jane Junk here?" "Yes, Sir." "I have a warrant for her arrest." "Ho, ho! Oh! dear me, that one of our family should come to this !" and Betsy Blower began rocking back and forth in a truly hysterical way. But Madame Junk was equal to the time. Her tall figure became more erect, her blue eye flashed, and there swept over her face a haughty expression of supreme contempt. She turned to her sister, with the utmost sangfroid in her tone: 92 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " Why alarm yourself, Betsy?" She turned to the officers, and with a look of command said: "Gentlemen, I shall require you to read me the war rant/ One of them stepped forward, and in a respectful way read the warrant for the arrest of Mrs. Jane Junk. "Is that all?" " Yes, Madame/ 5 "Has Joel Junk been arrested for the same offense?" "Yes, Madame." All this time Betsy had been "oh dealing" in the corner, and wondering what the church would say. Samuel stood, with folded arms, looking first at his sister-in-law, and then at the officers. "When the warrant had been read he stepped up and laid his hands on Madame Junk s shoulders : " You will not go to jail, Jane; I will be your bondsman." "No, Samuel; I shall not accept you." "Not accept me! Jane, what hever do you mean? You do not mean that you will go to jail ?" "Yes, I do. If it is good enough for Joel, it is good enough for me. The boy is just as innocent as I am." "Jane, you are hout of your J ead." "No, Samuel; my head is clear. God is with me, and will protect me; in Him I place my trust." In vain the officers joined with Samuel in trying to in duce Madame Junk to accept her brother-in-law as bonds man. Betsy gave any amount of small screams; but all to no purpose. Betsy declared that such works were enough to make Oliver Cromwell turn in his grave; that his true descendants should be lugged off to a common jail. "Well, Jane, Hi will go down with you." "No, Samuel; your wife needs you; I do not." She asked the officers for time to get ready. She went over to her own little room; took a few handkerchiefs, a shawl, her bonnet, and a pair of well-worn kid gloves, which she drew on with care, hooking them at the wrist as if she IN JAIL. . 93 were about to attend a grand reception, in place of going to jail. It was then between ten and eleven o clock at night. She stepped firmly out, and said : "Gentlemen, I am ready/ Her voice was as musical as a harp whose chords are stretched to their utmost tension; another turn of the key and they would break. Some memory of her oldtime life must have been with her; for she was all grace, and even queenly, in her carriage. In that moment she seemed to have regained the dignity with which she was wont to rule in former years. She seemed an actress, making reality of unreality. Her bearing was such as might awe those who had never studied the inmost impulses of the human heart. Self-created heroes make as much impression on the small mind as the real ones. Madame Junk left her sister lamenting the downfall of Oliver Cromwell s descendants, and walked away with the officers in abject silence. In that little pedestrian trip from Madame Junk s room to the jail, she was a Cleopatra with out a Mark Antony. The silence was only broken once, when she asked if she could look in upon Joel before she was locked up. They thought she could. When they arrived at the jail, the officer spoke in a low tone to the turnkey, who looked at Madame Junk with a grin of pleasure. Their eyes met, his mouth suddenly con tracted, and his face settled into a keep-still expression, if not respect. The great door was unlocked, the two officers touched their hats to Madame Junk, the turnkey invited her to step in, and following after, he closed the door. Madame Junk walked behind him down the corridor, until he stopped before a cell-door. Your son is in here. You can speak through the grate, if you wish; but I guess he s asleep." Madame Junk placed her mouth close to the grate, and spoke low, but with that same musical, quivering voice : Joel! Joel! Joel! My dear boy, your mother is here!" 94 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. Joel sat up in bed, and as the light of the jailer s lantern fell on Madame Junk s face, and the shadows of the iron bars fell athwart it, there was something strangely weird in the picture. Joel did not speak. "Joel, are you awake? Do speak to me?" " Mother, do you think I have done anything bad, that I am here?" "No, Joel; I know you have not. Do you think I have done anything bad, that I am here ? " "You arrested, mother?" "Yes, Joel; lam." Many thoughts passed through JoePs brain in a moment. In that moment, he rebelled against God and the Bible. He thought the Lord was making a poor return for Madame Junk s years of service. He did not understand that sanc- tification followed crucifixion. "Joel, be of good heart; we shall not remain in this place long." The turnkey asked Madame Junk if she would like the cell next to Joel. It was a needless question; for, had he placed her there without asking it, he would have been just as sure of her thanks. "Good night, Joel. Ask God to help us, and go to sleep." The last injunction he thought well enough; but the for mer he had his doubts about. Joel had been taught to say his prayers every night. He had been taught to "Ask, and ye shall receive," but he could not remember once when those prayers had been answered. It is no wonder the poor boy was discouraged. He could not sleep; he was thinking about God and the devil. We hope Joel s experience will not make him an infidel. When Madame Junk was locked within the walls of her cell, she devoted one hour to prayer. She prayed that she might be delivered from the hands of the Philistines. After this hour of prayer, if we analyze her feelings, we REPORTERS VISIT THE BLOWERS. 95 shall find a sort of contentment about them, and a rather- like-it sort of a feeling. There is nothing so very bad about being a martyr, provided you are not burned at the stake, or hung, or in some other way destroyed. It is the rule in this country, and, doubtless, ever will be, that after prayer we proceed to business. To this rule, Madame Junk is no exception. There was no one to interfere with her plan ning; but " The best laid schemes o mice and men gang aft aglee." This lady laid plans that would have occupied the time of a small army. True, we never knew this woman to pre meditate a thing which could not be executed. But the thing was to find some one, or some number of individuals, to put her plans into operation. "Whatever might have been Madame Junk s motives for refusing her brother-in-law for bondsman, they are unknown to us. Next morning all the daily papers gave their readers a full account of how Mr. Burns broke out of jail, taking with him four other prison ers; how it was all brought about by an old woman named Junk, and her son Joe; how she had for years been serving the prisoners with papers, and that, too, under the guise of a Christian. Now she was in jail, and should have been there years ago. The readers of the daily press were in formed how keys had been furnished by Joel and his mother. The Christian Advocate had been disgraced, and the editor of that sheet thought of bringing suit against the county for defamation of character. Reporters visited the Blowers, and wrote them up; went up to Madame Junk s room, hauled out all the coats, got out the jug of logwood dye, and, so eager were they to have the world know the truth, they took a drink, thinking it was port wine. It will be safe to suppose they are dyed in the wool now. It was thought that this eccentric woman was at the head of a band of thieves; for there had been exten sive robberies committed, and no trace of the robbers could 96 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. be found. Such was the news that greeted the eyes of Madame Junk s friends. The next question was, What did an honest woman want with all those hats, coats, and boots, and a variety of other things. If Samuel Blower attempted to do his sister-in-law justice by stating she gave them to the poor, he was told he could reserve his evidence for the trial. In vain, Betsy en deavored to turn the tide in their favor by relating that they were the descendants of Oliver Cromwell. Betsy was asked if Mr. Cromwell lived in the city, and if so, why didn t she call on him, and request that gentleman to do something for her sister. Betsy gave such other little statements as tended toward respectable family relations; but all this availed nothing. These knights of the quill interspersed the family relations and Oliver Cromwell with the hats, coats, and jug of logwood dye. "We are under the painful necessity of leaving Madame Junk and Joel in jail for a few days, and, as we are confi dent that a certain portion of our Christian readers will pray for their release, we must now turn our attention toward an obscure business-house. CHAPTEE XIV. A NIGHTBIRD S NEST AN ENGLISH LADY MEETS A MEMBER OF CONGRESS. WE have not as yet introduced the reader to Mr. Jonas Pictpink. We have not even told what that worthy man follows for a profession. Jonas Pictpink was a man small of stature quite a pigmy beside Mrs. Pictpink with iron-gray hair, and blue eyes. He was somewhat stoop-shouldered. His calling came under the head of assistant sexton a sort of a brevet grave-digger ; but this was not all the labor he performed. He acted in the capacity of an after- twelve-o clock-at-night expressman; a general porter for storing away things. Few men walked the streets at night who could boast of a larger private body-guard than could Jonas Pictpink. If he was out after twelve o clock at night, he was sure to have at least three well-dressed men in advance of him, and as many more in the rear, besides one or more in the vicinity of his residence. This precaution was taken, be cause it was in no way safe for a man to tramp the streets of San Francisco, at that time, without sufficient protection from the night-watchmen who were always prowling about where they should not be; and if you had valuable things about your person, ten to one they would not rob you. Mr. Pictpink was seldom out without having a load of snoes, cloth for gentlemen s wear, silver-ware, or money, and sometimes diamonds; hence, the necessity of a guard who could buttonhole a night-watchman and ask him in to "smile." 7 98 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. To-night, Mrs. Pictpink must be expecting company, for she is in the private room. There is nothing remarkable about this room. There is a lounge covered with green, a small looking-glass on the wall, two or three chairs, and a round table, a faded carpet on the floor, which is tacked down on two sides. The tacks are sticking up on the other sides ready to be driven in at any nioment. Mrs. Pictpink must be weary, for she has stretched herself upon the green lounge, and is snoring lustily. Three feet above the lounge there was a piece of the wall paper cut out. It was four inches square, and hung on one side like a book leaf. Under this was a tube that fitted flat to the wall. If you pull this square piece of paper down over the tube, you will find it matches the stripes on the paper as neatly as can be. It had been handled with care, for there were no finger-marks upon it. To-night this aperture was open. It might have been to give Mrs. Pictpink air, for there was no window in the room. Mrs. Pictpink gave a grunt, and placing one hand on the floor, slid off from the lounge on her knees, for she was unable to arise in any other way. She rubbed her small eyes, and poured from a broken pitcher a glass of beer, which she drank, and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She was evidently listening. We have been told that "walls have ears." If they have ears, why not mouths? There must have been a mouth about this wall, for it spoke, and the words sounded like "neat," "neat/ "neat." Mrs. Pictpink seemed to understand it, for she went to the door, took out a bunch of keys, unlocked a padlock, shoved a bolt, stepped out, and spoke low to a dog that lay chained near the door. She went through the same manoeuvre at the gate (with the exception that the dogs were two-legged) of a high board-fence around her small back yard inclosure. She opened a gate just wide enough to let a man in, closing it quickly. The man whispered to her, and passed into the private room. Mrs. THE PRIVATE ROOM. 99 Pictpink held the gate a moment, then opened it again. This time Jonas Pictpink passed in with a huge bundle resting on his shoulders. Again she closed it, this time holding it about five minutes, when two men came up and gave the countersign in a neat way, for they said "neat" three times. The gate was then closed, padlocked, and bolted. The only sound that was to be heard when Mrs. Pictpink returned to the private room, was a long breath from each one in turn a sort of a sigh of relief, such as a man might give vent to after performing some arduous labor. Their conversation was done in pantomime. Jonas Pictpink had slewed the pack from his back. The first man that entered laid back the carpet, the third had fixed the trap door in the floor, the fourth man was at work with that little square piece of paper on the wall, and Mrs. Pict pink stood with arms akimbo looking on. One by one they disappeared in the aperture in the floor. We don t know where they have gone. They may have gone down to that bottomless pit where good men don t go. Mrs. Pictpink closed the trap-door, smoothed back the faded carpet, and everything looked as straight as a string. The room resumed its innocent don t-know-nothing sort of a look. Mrs. Pictpink took another glass of beer, waddled back to the lounge, and came down with such force that the poor object creaked in very anguish under two hundred and fifty pounds of sin. "We will bid good night to this dark foreboding business-house and turn to scenes that will bear the light of day. Madame Junk and Joel have waited patiently for us to release them. It is useless to relate all the petty persecu tions that Joel underwent from the turnkey and his trus ties. With Madame Junk it was different. No matter how many times they made up their minds to insult " the old woman/ as they called her, they never did it. Some how when they came into her presence they felt ashamed. She always addressed them in apostolic language as if they were IOO MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. the most polished gentlemen that ever graced a lady s saloon. She treated them as if she actually supposed they had manhood. Very few scoundrels can withstand a woman s innocent, indirect appeal to their honor; an honor she plays they have, and plays it so adroitly that they are fooled into the belief that it is real. Who knows but Madame Junk, dur ing her sojourn in that jail, may awaken a wish in those men s hearts to be what they thought she thought them. Madame Junk considered it better to sow good seed in poor soil than to spend your time in idleness. Her motto was, if you cannot have a garden full of flowers, one little rose is better than nothing. Madame Junk did not allow Miss Sally Busy and Sternna to call upon her. Sternna was quite a little Miss, beautiful and attractive. She had learned that Madame Junk was not her mother, but in those letters which she sent to the jail it was always, "My very dear mother and brother. 3 She knew that they were innocent. When any one addressed her as Sternna Junk, she gave a little start. This, Miss Busy never did. She dropped the Junk and called her Miss Sternna. Often Miss Busy would watch the girl as she sat in thoughtful mood, and she knew that her sensitive soul suffered. This drew the girl nearer to her, and she could not have watched over the child with more solicitude if she had been her own mother. This morning Sternna had received a letter from Madame Junk, inclosing one to Senator A. Gr. Smith, which she wished Sternna to deliver in person. Sternna never made a move without the full sanction of Miss Busy, no matter if it was her mother s orders. When Sternna told Miss Busy what her mother wished, there came between that lady s eyes two distinct lines, which are thought to indicate that a woman will have two husbands; but Miss Busy had never had any. "I wish mother had not asked me to do this," said Sternna. THE LETTER. IOI " Do you dislike to do it very much?" " Oh! so much. I shall never have courage to go/ Again the two husbands appeared between Miss Busy s eyes. "Would you like to have me go for you ? " "Oh! I should be so thankful to you, Miss Busy, if you would. The gentleman would not mind me, but he would pay great attention to you." The deep interest Miss Busy felt in Joel, would lead her to compromise her dignity to almost any extent. The reader must appreciate the favor which Miss Busy was about to grant when they understand the native English animosity toward our constituents and our American Statesmen. We have but two she did not hold in the most supreme contempt. Those two were Senators Sumner and Schurz, and these, she claimed, gained their knowledge in the Old World. Miss Busy declared that no man was fit for Congress who had not given much time to the system of government; she thought they should study the old Roman law. The more and more she thought of Joel, the firmer be came her resolve to plead his cause with this man of influ ence. Miss Busy never for one moment doubted Joel s innocence, but she had her doubts about Madame Junk s views on God and duty; she believed in that woman s good intentions, but had little faith in her judgment. Miss Busy had taken an interest in Joel and Sternna which she had never been known to take in any one before. One would suppose a lady of Miss Busy s aristocratic turn of mind must know what society should be, and would require to know the parentage of these children. Her fancy had ever placed Sternna amidst distinguished English ancestors, while, for Joel, her mind sought out a birthright amid American enter prise. Miss Busy thought the mettle of which Joel was com posed was a grain coarser than that in Sternna s make-up. In .Joel, she saw the ring of the true American vim the IO2 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. Yankee "snap/ as she was pleased to term it. Miss Busy believed blood would tell, and she prided herself upon the classification of it. We shall leave our readers to judge for themselves of Miss Busy s discernment. Miss Busy was to make her first call upon an American Senator. She would dress herself with unusual care, not that she respected our Senators, but because she respected herself, you know. She would show this American Senator how a proper English lady should behave herself. When Miss Busy had attired herself, it would be impossible for any one to look more prim; the stiff black ribbon on her bonnet fluttered and snapped in the breeze, and seemed to say, "We are English! we are English!" When she arrived at the Senator s residence, she walked erect up the marble steps, rang the bell, and handed in her card. The Senator was in; and notwithstanding he said it was a devilish queer name, he would see the lady. Miss Busy was shown in. The Senator arose and waved her to a seat in an easy chair. Taking one himself, he placed a hand on each knee, and looked blandly at Miss Busy, as much as to say, What next, Madame?" She handed him Madame Junk s letter, and glanced ever and anon in a well-bred way as he read it. When he had finished, the Senator remarked: Yes, that he had read the account of Madame Junk s misfortunes, adding that he was greatly astonished, as he should not have taken Madame Junk to be a person who would be guilty of such a deed. "In this you are right," replied Miss Busy; "Madame Junk is innocent of a wrong thought or deed. I hope you will grant her request, for the sake of the boy. Joel has for some time been a pupil of mine, and manifests great pro ficiency in elocution. With proper direction, this boy s place upon the world s stage will be one of prominence." "Indeed!" Miss Busy went on: "I have taken a great interest in Joel; the time I have given him has been free of charge, and shall be so in the future." TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE. 103 " You are kind. I should judge from your remarks that you are a teacher." "Yes, Sir; I am a private governess in my own house. I have charge of children from three families. What I do for charity is done outside the hours I give to them. Those who employ a private teacher do so to be exclusive, and I would not violate their confidence by bringing their children into contact with objects of charity." "Quite right," replied the Senator, picking up Madame Junk s letter again, thus reminding Miss Busy that she had drifted away from the object of her visit. "Senator, I assure you, did I not fully and entirely be lieve in Madame Junk s and Joel s innocence, I should not have called upon you this morning." "Are they relatives of yours?" The two husbands between the eyes came out in bold relief, her lips grew thinner and more compressed, her eyes flashed a little flash, as she replied, " They are Americans! " There was a whole volume in those three words. The entire corrupt governmental system of the United States was in those three words. The Senator saw that he had made a mistake, and caught himself by, "I beg your pardon; it is not often we meet with so much kindness; " and before Miss Busy had time to reply to this courtesy, the Senator asked her what branches she taught. The two husbands retired from between the eyes, and she answered in softened tones: "English, French, German, Music, Drawing and Painting; and she modestly added, "If the parents desire, I teach Etiquette." "Indeed! Miss Busy, I think you must be a desirable acquisition to our society. We Americans are so deficient in those little accomplishments which give tone to society." Miss Busy was flattered. It was not often she met an American who was honest enough to speak of our short comings in such an open manner. Miss Busy encouraged the Senator by affirming that our country was young. 1O4 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. The Senator smiled, and said he thought we were old enough to behave ourselves. Miss Busy smiled, and said all good things must have time. The Senator seemed to be thinking. I have a young daughter whom I am anxious to place in charge of some competent lady. If you will consent to conduct her education for a year or so, I shall consider my self fortunate in having met you. Eventually, I intend sending her to Europe." This time Miss Busy smiled a genuine smile, and replied, that nothing would give her more pleasure, and she would endeavor to discharge her duties in a satisfactory manner. Had Madame Junk been present, there was an opportunity of getting in one of her favorite quotations from Scripture : Cast thy bread upon the waters, and it shall return after many days/ Here was Miss Busy, who had started out to do Madame Junk a favor, and had done herself one! She had, so to speak, killed two birds with one stone, when she only aimed at one. The Senator was well pleased with Miss Busy, and Miss Busy was well pleased with the Senator and with herself. She thanked him, and asked if he would come to the rescue of Madame Junk. The Senator would not promise pos itively; but he would look into matters, and, if all things were as he- had reason to hope they were, he would most assuredly come to their rescue. As Miss Busy wended her way homeward, her feelings toward American Senators had become somewhat modified. She thought that, after all, they were capable of intellectual improvement. True, they have not the facilities for culture that we have in England. We are thankful to Miss Busy for having so much hope for us. She is confident that we shall come within the pale of civilization in time; and so are we. CHAPTER XV. A PEEP BELOW RELEASED THE COMING CAMPAIGN. IT is late at night; and our pantomime actors, that went below in a former chapter, are seated around a rude table, discussing a matter in which we are interested. There are four in number; Jonas Pictpink is one. But be fore we go further, let us give the reader some idea of the appointments of these vault-like rooms, which are under neath Jonas Pictpink s private parlor. One room is ten- by-twelve square; the other, eight-by-ten. The sides of these rooms are boarded up, and ventilated by auger-holes, which are made where the ceiling overhead and the wall join. These holes are on the side next to the yard. In the yard, close up to the house, are holes in the earth, over which are placed clay-pots for flowers, with holes in the bottom of them. These holes have been repunctured, and made much larger than the original design. Those flower pots that are of the greatest service have nothing in them. Interspersed with these are others that are filled with flowers. But here we are on the outside, when we should have been down cellar; but we hope the reader will pardon our incoherence, when they reflect that several men are de pending upon us for breath. On one side of the first room, as you go down the stairs, stands a large iron safe. We have not examined the lock, but we presume it is a compli cated one, which would render gunpowder necessary for those who did not understand it. On the other side is a long narrow table, close to the wall. "We cannot tell if it is supported by legs or not; for there is a piece of black IO6 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. cambric tacked lengthwise on the edge of the table, which hangs to the ground. In the center of the room is the table around which the four men sit. One of these is Mr. Burns; his elbow rests on the table, and he is resting his head in the palm of his hand. His hair is cropped very short, and is as white as snow; his eyebrows are very black and bushy; he has a very handsome black mustache, and beautiful white teeth; and when he smiles there is a dimple in his cheek. He is talking in a low apathetical way to our student of theology. "Maria, I do not complain; you have done the job up brown ; but I can tell you one thing : unless you can devise some way to release that boy and his mother, I will give myself up again/ "Oh, Ralph, do not say that. What do I care for all the boys in the world, and their mothers, now that you are free? Think of the nights and days I have skulked, like a hound scenting the steps of his master. Think of the hours I have studied to release you; and that boy opened the way. And now you return my love by threats. Let us leave this hateful place, Ralph. There is enough in that safe to care for us well far from here. You know, Ralph, I have trav eled thousands of miles for you. I have given away our child to serve you. I have helped you out of prison more than once, at the risk of my own liberty. I live for your sake, not my own. When we left Australia, and were safely out of port, you cried, Eureka! Excelsior! The day is ours! I thought then we should be happy. Oh, Ralph, I am so tired. When can we rest? I shall live for you, I shall love you, and I shall die for you." " Maria! control yourself. I know I have been ungrate ful; but I cannot and will not leave this place until that boy and his mother are honorably acquitted. I have a feel ing in this matter that is wholly unaccountable to myself. You know, Maria, I am not over-conscientious in matters of this sort; but I feel, if we should leave these innocent ones WOMAN S LOVE. 107 to suffer for our crime, misfortune would attend us at every step/ AVhile this talk was going on in an undertone, the four men at the other end of the table were engaged in cards. They must have been playing for stakes, for there was a pile of twenty-dollar pieces near at hand. There was noth ing interesting about these men; they were the very com mon order of escaped jail-birds. It is doubtful if one of them could write his name; a happy fact on which banks might congratulate themselves. They were bungling artists in their profession, and had never ventured farther than a night maraud on some wholesale cloth-house, or small merchant in a by-street, where there was little or no danger. "We should not wonder if their motto was, <e We must walk before we can run/ At all events, they drove a brisk busi ness, doing much shipping to the lower countries. It was thought, by those who purchased these goods, that these gentlemen were connected with large houses in New York. This was a true supposition. We would not have our readers think that this house employed no accomplished accountants, for they did. There were men who could write your name, or my name, or anybody s name, so well that you would think you did it yourself. But this class of men were not the majority in this business-house. "Knowledge is power" could not be better illustrated than in this place. The world does wink, to some extent, at the skillful rogue, while it punishes to the death the ignorant one. Senator Amos Goliah Smith kept his word with Miss Busy. He did look into the matter; furthermore he called at the jail to see Madame Junk; and such a scraping and bowing among the lackeys of the prison when it was understood that Senator A. G. Smith would call on Madame Junk! They nodded their heads together, winked, and were confident there must be some secret wire-pulling somewhere. In this they were mistaken. It was real goodness on the part I08 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. of the Senator, coupled with what Miss Busy had said, and his former good opinion of Madame Junk. It will no doubt remain forever unknown to the world what passed between Senator A. G. Smith and Madame Junk on that eventful visit. Suffice it to say, he stepped into the clerk s office, and announced his willingness to stand as security for the ap pearance of Madame Jane Junk and Joe. The bonds had been fixed at the nominal figure of two thousand dollars each. The Senator placed his name upon the books for the amount of four thousand dollars, and the prisoners were released. They walked leisurely home; the only word spoken was by Madame Junk, who audibly thanked God at every step for having been delivered from the hands of the Philistines. Joel s mind was upon other things. His four days im prisonment was not calculated to strengthen his faith in the ability of God to count the number of hairs on his head, and to do other impossible things. That which our Heavenly Father intended we should understand as allegorical, Joel had taken literally. We do not intend that Joel shall grow up an irreverant man, but he reasons from his limited knowledge. Senator A. G. Smith s campaign began with all its fury. His friends were talking up his election for a second term; and Mr. Sampson s friends were wonderfully anxious that Senator A. G. Smith should be superseded by a more worthy man, and one, too, with more brains. Mr. Sampson was an out-and-out temperance man, which was quite the fashion just at that period. Poor Smith would stand a poor show with the temperance reformers. True, his princely way of doing things was much in his favor; for who ever knew an out-and-out temperance man to be generous ? Temperance, as we understand it, means moderation in all things. In a certain sense, it means frugality, and who ever heard of frugality in a politi cal campaign ? Even as far back as the days of Tippe- canoe and Tyler too," hard cider flowed as free as water. TIPPECANOE AND TYLER TOO. 109 The wives and daughters took some pride in election in those days; for they made up plenty of good home-made fried cakes, and passed them about among the men and boys freely. On general training day they donned their best dresses, and went out to look at their husbands and sons march to the soul-stirring music of fife and drum. Yankee Doodle was the classical music of the day, and, if you want to win an Englishman s heart, just whistle it. Times are quite different now. We have large bands that play us soft airs from Beethoven and Mendelssohn, and every other big gun that ever wrote a note of music. "We have everything to eat, and drink, and carriages to ride in; and we have women who don t vote, and can t vote because the Constitution will not let them, and we have women who are mad about it too. As in the days of King Arthur, we have women who attend all the political tournaments, and wear the color of their favorite; in other words, carry their tickets and importune every male acquaintance to vote for them. It is the next best thing to voting themselves. "Who knows but that in time these men will, out of sheer gal lantry, allow the women to take a peep at the penny puppet show ? "VVe have no doubt, after they have learned the art of classifying intelligence, they will become Daughters of Rebekah in this government. CHAPTEE XYI. LAYING THE WIRES WOMAN S FIDELITY STUMP- SPEECHES COMMENTS OF THE PRESS. MADAME Jane Junk and Joe sat in their own little room parceling out and dividing and subdividing a great bundle of campaign tickets, on which the name of Sen ator A. G. Smith stood forth in large and glaring letters. He is the candidate for Congress on this straight out-and- out ticket, and Madame Jane Junk and Joe intend to run him for Congress, and so do we. Madame Junk and Joe run him because they are under obligation to him; we do so because we like him, and think he is the best man. This morning, Joel is dressed in a new suit from head to foot. The crease in the back of the pantaloon s leg is still visible in all its newness. He looks new all over. His hair is freshly cropped, and there is a smell of perfume about him. This is the first new suit he ever had since he was born of course, he did not enjoy that one much. It is the first suit that ever fitted him. His clothing had always been too long or too short. His shoes had usually been number eights. His foot looked as trim to-day as a boy s foot could look; and if good blood can be discovered in the aristocratic mould of the foot, we shall not hesitate to say that Joel is of good blood. "Joel," said Madame Junk, looking up from a pile of tickets, "I wish you to make me a promise; will you do it?" " I think so," said the boy (Joel s faith in his mother s judgment had become shaken). "You think so ! I want you to know so." TICKETS, COFFEE, WATER, AND MILK. Ill "It is time enough to say that when I know what it is." "I want you to promise me you will drink nothing but tea, weak coffee, water, and milk, for the next two weeks." "Must the water and milk be mixed together?" asked Joel, with a roguish smile. "Joel, this is no laughing matter." "Well, mother, I never drank anything but tea, water, coffee, and milk, and I do not see why I should begin in the next two weeks." "But that is not giving me your word that you will not." "Well, then, I give you my word that I will not." "Good boy;" and with these words Madame Junk ex tended her long arm, and placed her hand in a loving way on Joel s head. There were tears in her eyes. " Thank you, Joel; I know you will keep your word. W e have much to do in the next two weeks." There was silence for the next few moments. "Joel, would you know the man, if you were to see him, who gave you the package of papers for Mr. Burns ?" "I don t know; I think so." * Tell me again how he looked." " He was young, with a thin, white face. I did not look at him very sharp; he had on a long coat, and looked some thing like a priest. I don t think he was a very bad sort of a chap." Madame Junk placed her hand before her yes, and solil oquized thus: How full of deception the world is! Not born right! not born right! It will take a thousand years, and generation must follow generation before the human race will understand the vast importance of propagating their kind. Not born right! not born right! Oh, had I the time and means to finish my book on Propagation, the world would be enlightened on these points in place of groping its way in darkness as it now does. Tom Glewer had his party spirit, and withal was a poli tician in a small way; and furthermore, he was determined I 1 2 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. that his adopted son, George Gregory Glewer, should fol low in the footsteps of his illustrious predecessor. Tom would teach George G. Glewer the pre-eminence of the American Eagle. He would teach him that it was not a bird you could stand and make faces at with impunity. He would teach the boy how a foreign nation was once hurt by its talons, how its beak had been buried in their hearts, making a wound that a hundred years had not healed. Tom would tell the boy how this bird screached and flew ram pant, roosting one week in the South and one in the North, fanning with its great wings the light of liberty, screaching to the South, in tones of thunder, " Thy offense is rank; it smells to Heaven." "We will not answer that this was the speech verbatim which Tom Glewer indited for his son, G. G. G., but it was the gist of it. Any how, had we written such a speech, it would have been less original. Doubtless we should have made liberal quotations from our late Artemus Ward s Fourth of July oration, where he asks, with patriotic zeal, if " the American Flag shall be torn up into dish-cloths?" and he answers, " No! a thousand times No! ! " Tom thought there was no time like the present to get off a gun or two in defense of his country. True, the country stood in no immediate danger; but a stray shot or so would do no harm, and it is always best to keep one in the locker. We have told you about Miss Busy s club for the children, which was to meet twice a week, for the purpose of declaim ing and other intellectual pursuits. Tom had resolved upon G. G. G. getting off this political effusion at one of these meetings. It was in vain that Kate argued that the speech was too old for the boy. Furthermore, Kate thought that Tom had written this speech more for the benefit of Miss Busy than for developing the political aspirations of the youth. We must not tarry too long with the little boys; let us look after the larger ones. WONDERFULLY CONSCIENTIOUS. I I 3 In our obscure business-house, of which we have before spoken, are the usual complement of men. Mr. Burns is there, and is talking to the student of theology, whom he calls Maria. "That old woman is as sharp as the devil. Pictpink says she was here again to-day, bargaining for more old clothes for the poor, and such discharged prison ers as cannot find work/ At this, Ralph Burns, threw back his head and laughed. He was thinking how a dandy con vict would look fixed up in Madame Junk s gentleman s wear. Laugh away, my friend of the quill; it has been done before, and may be again. "Yes, Maria; they are out, but this does not satisfy me. I wish they were acquitted, and we were safely out of this hole. This is devilish sleepy work for me." "You have grown wonderfully conscientious of late," said Maria, bitterly. " Wouldn t it be just as well for you to think about me, as well as the boy and old woman? I have suffered a hundred times more than they have, or ever will." " Is not compassion a step toward reform?" The man little thought what hope there was in this ques tion for the poor creature by his side. She sat in silence some time. She was thinking of a home upon the face of the earth, a habitation among men. She was hoping to walk abroad in the clear light of day, without fear or favor, and look^ the world in the face. She was thinking of her child, that she might one day call back to her. Indistinctly and far away was a hope of God and Heaven. Perchance some pitying angel hovered near, and whispered: "The least among the lowly may ask and receive, may knock and it shall be opened unto them." She sank her head upon the man s shoulder, and looked up into his eyes, with a childlike pleading in her own. "Do you think, Ealph, that this boy and his mother has anything to do with your reform?" "Perhaps so; I have taken a liking to the boy. Do you know I fancy he looks like our boy. I could not wrong that boy if it would save my life." I 1 4 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. The woman sprang to her feet; her eyes protruded; her face was agonized contortion; her hands were lifted up; her lips grew white : "Oh Ralph, this is cruel! How can you play upon me in that way, just to carry out your own ends?" "Maria, you are attracting the men from their cards. Come here, child, and be quiet." " Be quiet?" said the woman bitterly; "how can you talk to me of quiet? Haven t I been quiet for years? Haven t I quietly shielded you from the grasp of the law ? Haven t I quietly crouched at your feet like a dog who obeys his master? Quiet! quiet! quiet! You have so often repeated that word in my ear until I scarcely know any other. Quiet! I shall never know quiet until I am laid in my grave; and oh, Ralph, that will come soon, unless I rest." "There! there! Maria; you are nervous. You shall rest. You will feel better in the morning. I see you must have rest." He walked over to the table and pulled from be hind the black curtain an armful of broadcloth, and pro ceeded to make her a bed on the table; when he had prepared a comfortable couch, he returned, and lifted the woman in his arms as he would have done an infant, talk ing to her in lullaby tones. "Yes, my little Maria has had a hard time. She does need rest, and she shall have it." There are few ladies who sleep upon such expensive pillows or under such expensive covers. The man drew from behind the black curtain rich cloths and silks to cover the form of her he loved best of all. He laid her down and covered her up, and tucked her up. He patted her on the cheek, and said she must have something warm to drink. He then lit a small lamp, poured some water into a tin-cup, and placed it over the lamp; then he added brandy and sugar, and a few drops of dark-looking liquid from a small vial. "When it became hot, he turned it into another cup. Lifting the woman up in his arms, he held the cup to her lips, and bade her drink. " There, Maria; GONE TO SLEEP. I I 5 go to sleep; that is a good girl." She looked comfortable; let us hope she felt so. The man stood looking down on her white face, and there was a touch of remorse on his own. Soon her regular breathing told that she was sleep ing. When men have fine tools, they take care of them; and more especially if those tools are essential to their business. This man had laid his away with care. We trust our remarks will not lead the reader to form a wrong estimate of this man s character. We have seen men love a watch because it was a good timepiece, and they had carried it a long time. We have seen men love a horse because they brought it up from a colt; and a dog, because they brought it up from a pup. We have seen many a man who loved his wife because she knew how to serve him; because she was a part of him; because she would take hold of his hand and walk right down to hell, without as much as saying, " I had rather go to heaven. 3 This man walked back to the center of the room; and, taking a seat, resumed his favorite attitude his elbow on the table, and his head resting in the palm of his right hand. He is alone with his thoughts, and if we follow them, we shall find they are with Senator A. G. Smith. " Yes," he ejaculated, half aloud, "he has money and influence; and he has released the old woman and the boy. Now then, if I can get Maria after him and make him espouse my cause, I am all right; but how to do it, is the question." We will leave him with the question, and look after our electioneering. Madame Junk called on the Glewers, and felt of Tom s political pulse, and found it beat a hundred in a minute for A. G. Smith for Congress. She asked Tom if he knew there was a free platform for speaking; a sort of free-think ing liberal society, where any man or woman could have the floor ten minutes at a time, and abuse whoever they thought needed it. Madame Junk proposed that Tom I 1 6 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. should get off a political cracker in favor of A. G. Smith for Congress. Tom was only too pleased with the opportunity. It was a capital idea. He could say a good deal in ten minutes. He wanted a chance to hit these foreigners a dab; so it was agreed that Tom should speak at this meeting. Thus Madame Junk had secured one political orator; she would make two; and if she could prevail upon Joel to get off one of her written speeches, he would make three; and we pre sume if she had met her red-pepper friend, she would have proposed his speaking before the Hibernian Society. She might have reasoned that a man who was not good for work must be good for politics. The night of the meeting arrived. Torn was a little trem ulous, for it was his maiden speech, but Madame Junk as sured him there must be a first time for everything. Kate declined to witness her husband s debut, but encouraged him by timely suggestions. It was a motley crew that gathered at that meeting. All nations were represented. The president sat upon the platform, with hammer in hand, to call the meeting to order. Two or three men had spoken their allotted ten minutes when Tom saw an opening and made for it. He mounted the rostrum. Being a stranger in this role he was not applauded. Tom began by eulogiz ing our splendid system of government, the best in the world. This burst of eloquence was greeted by an old man who sat in the corner with Bah ! " " bah ! " The audience began to titter, and this took one minute. Then Tom began about the privileges that foreigners enjoy in this country, and how very little they enjoy it. Another loud bray from the ass in the corner, and prolonged hissing from different sections. This time the president was obliged to rap em phatically with his wooden mallet, and cry "Order!" "order!" There was another minute gone. Then Tom opened out with A. Goliah Smith as the smartest candi date for Congress. It was then the tide turned. He was TEN MINUTES MORE. I I 7 vociferously applauded, and the cry of <( Smith!" " Smith!" rang through the house. Another minute was gone, and Tom only had time to say that Smith believed in the eight- hour system. Then another minute was consumed by the audience shouting " Yes!" "Yes!" and in other ways ex pressing their delight. Tom told his hearers that A. G. Smith was dead-set against inflation and was in favor of the Civil Rights Bill. At this last-named bill the audience thought they had a right to another encore, which took a minute, when Tom added that he had understood from re liable authority that A. G. Smith was in favor of woman s rights, too. At this announcement there was a dead calm; not a sound was to be heard save the tap, tap, tap, of the president s mallet, which announced that the ten minutes were up. Amid this silence, the tall form of Madame Junk stood up. She proposed that Mr. Glewer be allowed ten minutes more. The president sang out that it had been proposed that Mr. Glewer have ten minutes more. " "Who seconds the motion?" A squeaky female voice from the farther end of the room seconded the motion. "All in favor," etc. The nays were weak and few; the ayes were strong and many. The president hoped the audience would not make noises. Tom began by saying that he himself did not favor wo man s rights, but that should not prevent him from sup porting a good man who did. Tom occupied the ten minutes in dwelling upon the Honorable A. G. Smith s virtues. That virtue which stood conspicuously out from the long catalogue which Tom enumerated was his goodness to the poor. This drew down the house. Tom told how this man had worked himself up from a poor boy to a very Goliah how he was a self-made man how he had been poor, but I 1 8 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. had not forgotten it how his opponent was a mean fellow, who had never been known to give a poor man a cent to wards buying a dead wife a tombstone, whereas there was a cemetery not a thousand miles away where more than one marble slab towered towards heaven that spoke of the Hon. A. G. Smith s chanty to the poor. This was the people s man this was the country s man this was the right man in the light place. Tom hoped that in the coming election his hearers would know when they had a good thing, and keep it. Tap, tap, tap, went the mallet; the ten minutes were up, and Tom stepped down from the rostrum amid a thunder ing round of applause. A man with a square forehead and a wide mouth spoke for Mr. Sampson. He said he did not think a man need show his charity by buying tombstones for poor men s wives, or giving champagne suppers to rich men s wives. He said it was a well-known fact that Mr. Smith was not a man of letters. No one pretended to claim that. Mr. Sampson did graduate from college he was a strict tem perance man he was a law-abiding gentleman and a founder of a church and it was plain to be seen by every sober thinking person, that such a man was more fit to make laws than one who had no regard for the temperance ques tion. The day had gone by for dumbfuddling the people into the belief that a man was great because he had money, and would throw it to the poor as he would a handful of corn to a parcel of chickens. Tap, tap, tap, went the mallet. We do not claim to have written out the ten minutes speeches; we only give the gist of them. Madame Junk saw an opening in the oratorical arena, and was determined to enter it. As she passed up the room, every eye was bent upon her. She looked as if she had something to say, and knew how to say it. As she mounted the rostrum, there was a slight applause from the IMPOSSIBLE TO HEAR A WORD. I 19 women s rights advocates, but the greater part of the audi ence were as whist as mice. "Gentlemen and Ladies: I appear before you to-night, appealing to your reason and common sense. I know whereof I speak. The Honorable Amos Smith is the only man in California at the present day at all suitable to rep resent us in Congress. He is the only man who has a com prehensive view of our needs. He is the only man that has an interest in the working-classes. He is the only man who believes in employing and paying living prices to the poor white man, in preference to the imported Chinese. (Ap plause.) The gentleman who preceded me referred to Mr. Smith s education, or rather his want of it. I have yet to learn how mere theoretical education will answer a man in this nineteenth century. I have yet to learn how a man may attain eminence without ability. All the colleges in the universe will not suffice without brains. Are not self-made men to be honored? I am a temperance woman; I am a church woman; but I would not allow this to come between my country and me. You who complain longest and loud est against the system of our government, do little to rectify its mistakes. Why don t you elect good men to office? * Why stand ye here all the day idle ? Go into your vineyards and go to work. You pretend to be dreadfully afraid of the women. You say if they had the right of franchise there would be a fine hubbub. Did you ever know a hen to lay a rotten egg, or hatch out one either? " (Peal upon peal of laughter, and great applause.) We shall not write out Madame Junk s speech in detail. It was a woman s speech. There were a good many " as I said before s" in it; a good many questions which were an swered by a good many "by no means s." Madame Junk was just getting warmed up, when the mallet came down with "Stop!" "Stop!" in the rap. (Loud applause, and the cry of "More!" "More!" "Junk!" "Junk!" "Junk!" "More Junk!") It was impossible to hear one word the I2O MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. president uttered. Madame Junk, not a little elated, arose once more, and began as follows: " I did not come here as an exponent of woman s rights. If I advocate rights, they are human rights the universal rights of our country. I did not come here to ask anything for women, for I know they would not get it if I should. I came here to ask you, one and all, to a man, to cast your votes for Amos Smith for the United States Congress. All the women would, if they had a chance. Young and old, rich and poor, for we all love him (much laughter), and we are going to work hard to elect him ; not alone that he is by far the handsomest candidate, but because he is the best. Here is the man who loves reform. True, he is not a temperance man, but I have never heard of his making people drink if they were not dry, and did not want to. I have no doubt the time will come when he will be just as strong a tem perance man as I am. (Madame Junk did not intend this as a joke, but the audience were just as tickled as if she did.) I have talked with this gentleman. I know he has no sympathy whatsoever with monopoly. Monopoly will rob our children of a republican birthright. We are but a pinch above a monarchical form of government now. Wake up! ye men of a Republic almost one hundred years old, and come to the front. Sustain the man who dares the right. Let all petty shortcomings be lost in view of great and grand principles!" The mallet came down, and so did Madame Junk, and so did the house. We have not time to dwell at length upon the various speeches which followed Madame Junk s, and the questions pro and con thereafter discussed. But one speech hinted that A. G. Smith must be decidedly hard up to go about bailing old women out of jail for the sake of getting them to electioneer for him. This man was followed by another, who declared that such insinuations were unworthy a man, and for his part he wished the man who preceded him had one-half as good a reputation as the old woman he referred THE FREE PRESS. 121 to; lie believed he would then have a better show for heaven. Nest day Mr. Sampson s newspaper organ came out with a most ludicrous description of all the speakers in favor of the Hon. A. G. Smith. They called Madame Junk a female " Pickwick" an old woman the Senator got out of jail for the purpose of making stump speeches for him. They had no doubt that she would be the means of securing him a seat in Congress, and if she did, they advised Mr. Smith to take her along as a sort of aide-de-camp. They thought, from the present outlook, he would need her. In short, they said all sorts of queer things about him. They whittled him until he looked wonderfully slim, and there is little doubt that he felt so. They reviewed his life from boyhood up, and found a great many places in it where it was no better than it should be. When they had finished him there was very little of the original man left. His best friends would not have known him. Indeed, he scarcely knew himself. Any right-minded person in the world, after reading Mr. Sampson s organ, would say that Hon. A. G. Smith suffered for his country s cause. On the other hand, the Hon. A. G. Smith had his organ too, for in this day and age no man has the courage to enter the political field without a newspaper organ. The free press of this country allows this privilege, and a blessing it is. Mr. Smith s organ hoped that the friends of Mr. Samp son would not have the cholera from eating watermelons and drinking pop. (If we are allowed to give our opinion we think they are in far more danger from dying of choler after reading Mr. Smith s organ.) Mr. Smith s organ said , that loads of watermelons were being shipped to San Fran cisco and placed in warehouses for Mr. Sampson to treat his friends with during his campaign. Temperance was all very well, but not any watermelons for the Smith party. CHAPTEE XVII. COMING EVENTS THE UMBRELLA A POOR PROTECTOR ON THE TRACK CAGED TRUE UNTO DEATH. trial of Madame Jane Junk and Joe was to come JL off in a day or so, and what with stump-speaking, general electioneering, and gathering up evidence, she was kept very busy. She had more than once been to Jonas Pictpink s to negotiate for old clothing to give to the poor. Madame Junk could not account for it, but she had a feeling that this house and this woman had something to do with their trouble. One day, as she was passing by, she thought she would step in and price old hats, not that she was in need of old hats, but you will please to remember that this was a mania of hers. On entering, Madame Junk found Mrs. Pictpink talking, in a low, confidential tone, to a well- dressed gentleman. He was much too well dressed to have any sort of business in such a place as that. The man gave a little start on seeing Madame Junk, and Mrs. Pict pink looked confused. They looked very much as two people would look if they were plotting against a person, and that person should appear suddenly before them, look into their faces, and read their thoughts. It was quite early in the morning; they evidently were not looking for such early callers. But Madame Junk is an " early bird;" and it is presumable that she has caught her worms this morning. The man began asking Mrs. Pictpink, in as business-like a way as he could get up on a short notice, if she had any pretty good secondhand umbrellas. HATS FOR HENS NESTS. 123 It did not rain, or even look like it; but an umbrella is a good thing to have in a country where it does rain. Be sides, when a man buys an umbrella, he generally raises it in the store to see if it is sound. Mrs. Pictpink poked about among a lot of dusty rubbish. Meanwhile, Madame Junk had never taken her eyes off this man. She thought she had seen him before; it might have been years ago; but back in her memory a face something like this loomed up. Mrs. Pictpink brought out an umbrella, which the man raised, and began to examine, holding it between himself and Madame Junk. He thought she would soon be engaged in her own business, and he could pass out without being observed. In this he was mistaken. Madame Junk s busi ness seemed to be to watch him. Mrs. Pictpink looked more and more confused. The gentleman began to think that outstaring Madame Junk was a larger job than he bar gained for; so he walked with his umbrella over his head, and out of the door. " Do you know that man ?" " Vas ist dish say you ?" <c Do you know that man ?" " Now der yer dinks Ize know everypody Tat ish py me ? Vas ist dish vants you ?" " I called to see if you had any more hats." The reader will pardon us if we render Mrs. Pictpink s talk in English. Mrs. Pictpink informed Madame Junk that she (Pictpink) knew that she did not want the hats for the poor, as she had before told her, and that Madame Junk had fooled around there long enough. She knew that Madame Junk was just buying the hats for hens nests; and if she thought that her hats could be sold for old hens to lay eggs in, she was much mistaken, that was all. No hen should lay an egg in a hat that went out of her shop, and that was all there was about it. In vain Madame Junk tried to appease the woman s wrath 124 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. by telling her that she had not a hen in the world, and did not know when she should have. The fact of the business was just this : Mrs. Pictpink did not want Madame Junk coming there, and she got up this dodge of the hens nests as a pretext for a quarrel. Madame Junk saw the point at once, and this gave her suspicions a fresh start. She was not inclined to dally with a person who was born entirely wrong, so she gave her a superior good morning, with a meaning in it. We will walk after that lady, and see what she is going to do. Her tall figure moved swiftly and erectly, for she is going to call on the Chief of the Police. She found the gentleman in, and related to him all her suspicions. She gave that officer a detailed account of all she knew of Jonas Pictpink s old-clothes store. She even told how Mrs. Pict pink had accused her of buying the hats for hens nests. The detective listened quietly to all this, and smiled when she came to the hats and hens. He promised Madame Junk to look into it. How well he kept his word, remains to be seen. All this time the electioneering ball was kept moving. Madame Junk wrote speeches and letters, and Joel was kept trotting from morning until evening. Madame Junk ad dressed letters to all the "big guns" in the city, as Joel termed them. Joel distributed tickets in all the machine- shops and distilleries; he worked like a hero. It was the first time he had ever been out of God s employ. Now he was at work for a man he was acquainted with a tangible object, one that paid him with new clothes and good food. It was wonderful to see how this boy came out; he had a propelling wheel behind him that revolved a hundred times in a minute. He addressed the Young Men s Christian As sociation on "Political Economy," an address written by Miss Busy, and committed to memory by Joel. At one mass meeting he was hoisted upon the rostrum to address the crpwd. The press called him the young American boy THE BOY ORATOR. 125 orator. He astonished Madame Junk, Miss Busy, himself, and the people. Some said he was controlled by the spirit of some great orator; others said he had been trained to speak since he was two years old; and others said, whose boy is he, and where did he come from ? The detective, with one companion, took up his quarters the next night directly opposite Jonas Pictpink s old-clothes store. He secured a small room for the purpose of watch ing without being seen himself, where he waited until two o clock in the morning, when he saw a well-dressed man slip into the side gate. Very soon another followed; and soon two more; the rear was brought up by an old man that looked decrepit. The detective waited an hour longer, to see how many were likely to attend this delegation, which had been called to order rather late at night for honesty. " Hah! This is the nest I have been looking for so long. Devilish nice arrangement! Much obliged to the old woman. Her head is level after all." He sat reflecting. Should he spring a trap on them to-night, or wait until the next? He concluded it was best to wait until the next. This must be managed with care. He would reconnoitre a little. They will doubtless find some exquisite penman in this hole. They were not prepared to make a charge to-night; it would require a whole posse of well-armed men. If it should become necessary to spill blood in the taking of Fort Pictpink, they were the men who could do it. The detective and his ally took off their boots, replaced them by soft-soled shoes, and stole across the street like two great cats, that knew where there was a nest of rats that they should soon make a meal of. They examined the high board fence, the gate, and all about the gate. One man held the other on his shoulders while he peered over into the yard and reported it as dark as a pocket. Then they took another survey of the side of the house. The gate opened next to the house, the only separation being a small post, to which the gate was hung. 126 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. With the aid of a small lantern they were looking all about this corner. The quick sharp eye of the detective saw a seani four inches square in the clapboard. By an ordinary eye it would not have been noticed; and not by him, had he not understood the expertness of thieves. He tried to move this piece, but it would not budge. He pressed his finger all around this seam three times; the fourth time it flew back and disclosed a small aperture, in which was fixed a tube. He placed his ear to this, but heard no sound. No word was spoken between these men. He closed this square hole and took another look at this side of the house. It was painted drab. Again he ran his finger around this seam, and again it flew back, when his finger came to one spot on the upper edge. This he ex amined, and found what looked to be a nail, but in reality was a very nice spring. He closed it again, and with the same cat-like tread he and his companion walked over to their little room, there to consult about the best way to proceed. " The fellow who fixed that hole must be a workman/ " Yes, he s a workman; and the State is going to get the benefit of his genius. Look here, Meggs, this must be kept as whist as death. If they get the least scent that we are on their track, we may whistle a long time before we catch them. I want to take the whole gang. We have had theft by the wholesale long enough, and it has been the greatest mystery to me that we could get no clue to them. I believe that boy and the old woman are as innocent as you or I. Meggs, call on the old woman early in the morn ing, and tell her not to call at the old-clothes store until I send her word; but don t tell her a word about what we have seen to-night. She is a woman; and I don t go a cent on a woman s keeping mum. If things turn out as she has suspected, I shall see that she has a share of the reward; for I don t know when we should have found this nest without her. So much for her love of giving old clothes to the poor, and discharged jail-birds." THE COUNTERSIGN. 127 " I am told this old woman is devilish churchy/ said the assistant. " Yes, may be," replied the other, taking out a note-book and looking over a list of robberies and bank forgeries. He found there was a startling list that had, up to the present time, been unaccounted for. They waited with patience for the next night to come around. Extensive preparation was being made. The Chief picked out his trusty men and armed them cap-a-pie. Five men, including the Chief, took up their quarters in the little room we have before named. There they watched with a vigilance worthy of their profession, until long after the witching hour of night, when churchyards yawn, and Mrs. Pictpink, too. At last they were encouraged by seeing two fine-looking chaps enter the side gate. The Chief told his men not to get excited, for there were more; and, sure enough, in a moment two more came, and in five minutes two more, making in all six. " Three pairs of ducks/ 3 said the Chief, " and the devil may tell how many more there are inside. It is a good thing we have plenty of help within hailing distance." The Chief ordered one man to stand at the front door, two to get over the fence and stand at the back door, and one at the gate. " I will try my luck at a password. Don t much think I can fetch them in this way. If they open the door at my countersign, rush in and secure whoever you find. If this little ruse don t take, we will effect an en trance the back way. If the host is too large for us, spring the rattle and call for more help. These are a devilish shrewd set of fellows. Men that have eluded us so long are men not to be taken with a little salt." After these orders had been given, the men took their respective positions. The Chief ran his finger around that square little door and it flew back. He placed his mouth to the tube and spoke these words: " Quick, quick, open the door; I have news." Contrary to his expectations the back 128 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. door opened, and the two men grappled with the colossal form of Mrs. Pictpink. They soon had her wrists orna mented with a pair of iron bracelets. The Chief and his men were soon over the fence and walked into Jonas Pictpink s private parlor with the non chalance of invited guests. The Chief took a seat upon the green lounge, pulled out his cigar-case, lit a cigar and commenced smoking. He was taking an inventory of the room; this did not require a great amount of mathematical reckoning. He looked at the old carpet half tacked down, and felt as uncomfortable as an old cat that is before a rat- hole and knows she is master of the situation. He had smoked long enough to get his nerves in a quiet state when one of the men whom he had previously sent out returned with more help. " Boys, lay back that carpet." This was done, but the door was not so pliable as the carpet, for it refused to be laid back. " Hah ! this is a stronghold well fortified," said the Chief. The splinters from redwood boards flew in every direction. One long pull, one strong pull, and one pull all together, and up came the door. The men pitched themselves down through this open space as they would have thrown bags of grain into a cellar. The lights were out in an instant, and the foes grappled with the in truders. The contest was short. A woman, screaming "Ralph! Ralph! w T here are you?" emerged from a corner with a pistol in her hand, lit a match, and pointed the weapon toward the head of the man who was struggling with her husband. As quick as thought the man anticipated her movement, threw up her hand, and the ball entered her own body. " Surrender, Ralph, surrender. A light, Ralph, a light. I am dying I am dying. Ralph, where are you?" The light was lit. The men now submitted to have the handcuffs placed upon them with a dogged silence. Ralph Burns made no resistance. He was kneeling over the pros- THE DYING REQUEST. I 29 trate form of our poor student of theology, for she was still dressed in that garb. " Maria, you will not die; my poor Maria." " Yes, Kalph, I shall never see the light of another day. Oh, my child ! my forsaken child ! if I could but see you once before I die." Suddenly she seemed to think of something. She beck oned the Chief to kneel down by her side, for her voice was failing fast. <e The boy the boy is innocent." "What boy, my good woman?" "It was I that deceived the boy to save my husband. The boy is innocent the woman is innocent. I gave him the papers. He did not know there was anything in them. I will not die with that on my soul. O God, forgive me ! I have sinned, but I have suffered, too. Save the boy; save the boy, Sir, and God will have mercy on my soul." Perchance some angel hovered near, and took heart at God s almightiness and smiled a smile of cheer. " Save the boy and his mother!" "Yes, yes; but you must be removed and have medical attendance." "No, I am dying now." All the men had been removed except Burns, and the woman begged so pitifully that her husband might remain until she breathed her last that the officer had no heart to refuse. " Ralph," said the dying woman, " you are done for in this world. You will have to serve many years for your crimes, and when you are alone in the still hours of night, think of me. Remember, I died serving you." "Maria, do not talk so. You will be better soon." "Yes, I shall be better soon, but in another world than this. Ralph, can you pray?" "No, Maria." She turned her eyes toward the officer. " Will you pray for me, Sir ? " 9 I3O MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE The gentleman was covered with confusion. He told her he had not offered up a prayer to God since he was a small boy, when his mother taught him his evening prayers. " But you shall have some one to pray for you if you de sire it." At that moment he thought of the good Christian, Mad ame Junk. He sent a carriage to bring that good woman with all possible speed. Not a quarter of an hour elapsed before that worthy person was kneeling beside the dying woman, offering up a prayer in pleading tones for grace and mercy. " Can you follow me in prayer ? " asked Madame Junk of the dying woman, and Maria feebly repeated after her: "O God! to Thee I commend my soul, asking Thy for- giveneso Tor all my past sins. I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ. I believe he died upon the cross to save me a sin ner/ . . ."Kiss me, darling, I am going/ and Ralph Burns knelt down and kissed his wife as her spirit fled. Madame Junk remained kneeling, her hands clasped and her lips moving in silent prayer. "When she opened her eyes she looked directly into the eyes of the man who knelt on the other side of his dead wife. His expression spoke, as plain as words could have done, " Madame, I owe all this to you." Madame Junk returned this silent accusation with an ex pression equally apparent: "Sir, you see what you have come to by your ungodly life." The first word spoken was by the officer, who asked Mad ame Junk if the woman was dead. Madame Junk felt her pulse and pronounced her dead. The officer then turned to Ealph Burns and asked him if he had any wish in regard to the burial of his wife. The man took from his pocket a well-filled purse, remarking that that would give her a de cent burial. Madame Junk held the purse in her hand and said, . "But, my friend, the money is not yours." It was the first time during this scene that the man. dis played visible signs of deep emotion. VALUABLES DISCOVERED. 13! "Madame, possession is nine points of the law. The money is mine until it is proven that it is not." " What you have said is true; but, until that is proven, I am not at liberty to use it, even for the burial of this poor woman." As she spoke she took from her pocket a pair of scissors and severed a small lock of hair from the dead woman s head; wrote something on a leaf in her note-book; tore this leaf from the book; did the hair up in it, and handed it to Mr. Burns. The officer informed him that he should now be obliged to remove him to prison. Would Madame Junk feel afraid to remain alone for a short time with the dead woman. No, indeed! Madame Junk did not know fear. "I want the boy to see her," said the officer. "What boy?" asked Madame Junk. "Why, your boy; she told me she was the one who gave him the papers." "Oh!" A light began to dawn upon Madame Junk s mind. She saw the handcuffs placed upon Ralph Burns with less feel ing than she would had she not received this information. Madame Junk was left alone with the dead, in this strange out-of-the-way place. She looked about the room with an expression of curiosity. "Yes, this is the place they have kept secreted in so long; I was right in my conjectures. Poor things ! Oh, what a world ! If 1 only had my book done on the proper propagation of the American race, I would give every one of these thieves a volume. It would at least show them where the difficulty lies. All this crime comes from not being born right." After this soliloquy she began to wonder what was behind that black curtain which hung around that long table. She would not be a woman if she did not look; she lifted the curtain, and found a large ledge of rich silks, satins, velvets, and fine cloths. And now that these valuables had been discovered, she won dered if the owners would not feel in duty bound to give 132 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. them to the poor. In her fancy, she had all discharged prisoners dressed in fine silk-velvet coats, and the children of the orphan asylums (including Jews and Catholics), dressed in black silk trimmed with fine lace. Such was Madame Junk s generosity over the discovery of this hidden treasure. "I wonder what is in that safe/ she thought to herself, but the door would not open. But there is a wooden box. She lifted the lid; it was filled with shoes. There were all sizes and all colors red and blue morocco, for little girls four or five years old. She ran her fingers down to the toes, held them up, and thought what a nice thing it would be to give these shoes to the orphans. How pleased the little ones would be with such shoes. She was holding a little red shoe on her fingers, admiring it very much, when two officers arrived and announced their willingness to re lease Madame Junk. Naturally, that lady was quick; she was informed there was a carriage at the door which would convey her home. The moment she understood that it was their wish to have her go, that moment it was her wish to remain. She made a flank movement by asking them if they thought this property would be returned to the owners, or if the owners would donate it to the poor. In short, Mad ame Junk kept up such a running fire of conversation that the two men did not have time to suggest the propriety of her going home. She stuck and hung with a tenacity wor thy of her cause. She waited until twilight dawned, and honest citizens appeared upon the scene. The Chief re turned, to whom Madame Junk spoke in low tones. " I thought it best, Sir, to remain until you came." "Quite right. Go home now, and get breakfast, and bring the boy." "What boy?" "Your boy; he must see the body of this woman. She told me she gave Joel the package." A light began to dawn on Madame Junk s mind. "Yes, yes, I was right; this was the place where our trouble started." THE REWARD. 133 Madame Junk went home and soon returned with Joel, who was sworn, and testified that this was the person who gave him the papers. After the usual forms of the law had been complied with, the body was taken to the Morgue, and redressed in female apparel. Madame Junk placed flowers in her hands and on her breast. Hundreds went to see, out of curiosity, the woman who had followed a man through every peril, who had staked life s happiness for man s love, who had ventured all and lost all. Some pitied and others blamed. There are various forms of truth. That woman was true to her marriage vows, which read, "You shall leave all others and cleave to him alone." She had religiously kept the promises she made at the altar, "Whom God joins together let no man put asunder." Before the married world can live pure, conscientious lives the present marriage ceremony must have a few clauses inserted. But we are not the Law and the Gospel. Perhaps those who blame this woman most are not those who reverence as she did the promises made to God and man. She had been true to a false thing; but she had sworn she would be, and kept her vow. Poor Maria was buried in Potter s Field. The grave was marked by Madame Junk, and roses planted thereon. Some day she should have a neat white slab, with an epitaph of Madame Junk s own composing. There had been several thousand dollars reward offered for the apprehension of Mr. Burns. Of course, the reward would be handed over to the detective, who was inclined to give Madame Junk at least five hundred dollars; but the minor officers objected so strenuously that it was likely to end in litigation, which would cost more than the reward offered. The Chief was adequate to all tasks of this sort, and for the sake of peace resolved to make up the five hun dred dollars from his own purse, so the reader will see he was not such a bad fellow after all. And that much-abused adage, "It takes a rogue to catch a rogue," would not hold 134 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. good in tliis instance. You all know by this time that Mad ame Junk was no rogue. More than all that, the detective would have hired Madame Junk as an assistant, if she would have accepted the calling; but her work was to save people from going to prison, in place of sending them there to make over old clothes, and to make over people to wear them. The detective knew where there was a man who would give something handsome toward making up a purse of five hundred dollars for the lady; for if she was only a popgun before, she was a cannon now. Madame Junk s rising fame morally, religiously, politically, and, in fact, all the ly s you could add to words whose express definition was good ness and greatness made that lady a desirable appendage to any man s support. CHAPTEE XVIII. PINS AND BONES THE COMING MASS MEETING. WHILE Madame Junk was buzzing hither and thith er, Kate Glewer remained quietly at home attend ing to home duties washing, making, and mending her hus band s and adopted son s clothing, as well as cooking their food and keeping their physical condition in good running order. Her evenings were devoted to reading. You could always find on her table the best books from the best au thors. Now that she had a boy to rear, she saw the neces sity of knowledge. Kate had a love for books; she had been fortunate enough to hear ladies of culture discuss the merits of standard works; among them Kuskin and De Quincy. Those two authors she now sought, and read with a zest that would have done credit to a "blue stocking." But Kate had no ambition to be a " blue stocking;" she read those books for their fund of human thought and human nature; she dwelt with them, and actually lived amid the scenes of which she read. They were pleasant companions, and spoke to her in her humdrum life, relieving it of its monotony. But how about George Gregory ? Why, he was one of those good little boys that would make a first-class hero in a Sabbath-school book. You could not find any fault with him; he was so good, and always obeyed, learned his les sons, and could repeat any patriotic effusion which Tom saw fit to teach him. It is useless to deny that Kate was disappointed in the boy; she did wish he was not quite so milk and water; she did wish he would get mad, and bite, scratch, and kick, and 136 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. say, " I won t!" and cc I will!" but George Gregory never did that; he was as tame and harmless as a kitten. No word ever passed between Tom and Kate regarding George s character. There was no trouble in bringing him up, for there were no faults to correct. He never was whipped, for he never did anything to be whipped for. Let fathers and mothers who love to give a child a good whipping, imagine what Tom and Kate were deprived of ! And yet the three G s was in no way underwitted. He evinced great affection, and loved Sternna better than all the world. The two chil dren sat close together under the teachings of Miss Sallie Busy, and progressed with a rapidity truly marvelous. We think it time that Samuel Blower and lady had the floor, and an opportunity to relate something of their do mestic felicity. Samuel Blower s mother must have been a woman of parts, for the meat she used to cook never had a bone in it. If Mrs. Samuel ventured to ask and she some times did if the animals in England did not have bones, it was looked upon as a piece of sarcasm by Samuel, who would call for his " aversack," and threaten speedy depar ture. Betsy Blower no more thought of taking a mouthful between meals than she would have thought of throwing out the least crumb that was left over. If there was one potato left from dinner, Samuel looked after it. A strict ac count was kept, and that potato must be forthcoming the next meal, or the " aversack " was brought out. Betsy was told that " no such damned Yankee wastefulness could be supported." No wonder her nerves were shaken. That tf aversack" had nearly killed her. One night when Samuel Blower was preparing to retire, he stepped on a pin. A pin is a little thing of itself, but when a man steps on it and pricks his foot it becomes an object of consideration. We have no language to write up this pin-scene. Suffice it to say, Samuel got out his " aver sack" ready for packing early in the morning. Mrs. Blower saw pins all night, and when she dropped MRS. BLOWERS TROUBLES. 137 into a fitful doze she dreamt there was a pin as long as a rail, and that Samuel had stepped on it and the point was coming out at the top of his " ead," and his " "aversack" was hung on the point of the pin, and that Samuel had left her bed and board forever. Such was the state of Mrs. Blower s nerves. Ever after, when Samuel found a pin on the carpet, he would pick it up, run to his wife, and glare at her in such a demoniac way, that it came near dethron ing her reason. Every afternoon Mrs. Blower instituted a thorough search for pins, and when she found one she would tremble like an aspen leaf, and say: "Oh! oh! if that had been in Samuel s foot!" At last she resolved to have no pins in the house; so ever afterwards she used thread and needle to sew her clothes on. Incredible as this may appear, it is the truth, upon my word. It was fun to hear Mr. and Mrs. Blower going on about their respective countries. Mr. Blower allowed that the Hamericans were a hignorant set. All they knew they ad learned of the English. Mrs. Blower asked if the English taught the Americans how to build up a Republic ? This last question was generally a settler to the political discussions. In these political debates, Mrs. Blower en tirely forgot her illustrious predecessor, Oliver Cromwell, and she would rake the English down and pile their dead bodies up to her husband s nose, making a breastwork so high that she would stand on tip-toe and " peek" over at her vanquished foe. Generally, after Mrs. Blower had com mitted such slaughter upon her husband s countrymen, he comforted himself with his cups. If he had subdued her with a pin, she had subdued him with the sword. It was after one of these quarrels Madame Junk called on her sister. " I declare, Jane, I cannot live with that man." " What s the matter now?" asked Madame Junk, in her blandest tones. Why, he calls me names. It was only this morning he calle me an ignorant Yankee woman." 138 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. "Well, that is not a bad name. I take pride in being called a Yankee woman." " But if you had to hear the Yankees slandered from year s end to year s end, you would get tired." " What did you call him?" " I called him Mount Vesuvius." " Ha! ha! indeed! Well, Betsy, that is not a bad name. Samuel should feel quite proud of his name also. Vesuvius is the admiration of the world, and so are the Yankees; so I don t see but the honors are pretty equally divided. You are a Yankee woman and he is Mount Vesuvius." As we remarked before, if Madame Junk was a popgun in times gone by, she was a cannon of great weight now. To use her own phraseology, " she would gather up her forceB and go to work." Madame Junk s definition of forces was to rush into the midst of the political melee armed to the teeth. Joel frequently saw the Hon. A. G. Smith now. He had made some wonderful speeches in favor of that gentleman s election. Miss Sallie Busy was competent and had spared no pains in the training of Joel in elocution. It would be needless to assert that any other boy could do the same, with the same amount of training. If there are any, they are very rare instances. Joel had more than once been invited to dine with the Senator, and had more than once met Carrie. The Senator must have forgotten when he was a boy. If he had not forgotten his boyhood, we shall conclude that he did not regard poverty or obscure birth as a disgrace. We shall conclude that he regards brains as a social equalizer; but we know positively that his spouse does not a person we have not until the present mentioned, and for this reason, that we have had no work for her to do. Mrs. Amos Goliah Smith is more for ornament than use. We like handsome things, but we cannot afford to fold our hands and look at them forever. Mrs. Smith was a handsome woman, and, BUSY TIMES. 139 technically, a Christian. She did not take snuff or chew tobacco. She had read Uncle Tom s Cabin, and believed in its moral tone. She presided in her husband s mansion according to the rules of conventional society; nothing ever annoyed her so much as coming in contact with the vulgar herd. She was an American; her father and mother were Americans; and that is about as far back as we know any thing about them. Her ideas of social equality could have been classed with those of the English nobility. These thoughts had developed wonderfully with the accumulation of her husband s wealth; these grand and lofty notions, as Madame Junk would put it, were not born with her. There was to be another campaign meeting in one of the largest halls in the city, for it is only one week before elec tion. It is a kind of general mass meeting. There were those who were just uncanny enough to call it a general muss meeting. There will be a president, and other digni taries, and each speaker is to have the floor twenty minutes. The speakers have been chosen: Madame Junk is one, Joel is two, Tom Glewer is three, and there are several more that we are not acquainted with. Miss Sallie Busy has spread herself on Joel s speech. Every evening for more than a week Joel has stood up before that worthy English maiden lady, and gesticulated in a manner worthy of a Demosthenes at this and that point in the speech which was calculated to overwhelm the crowd. Miss Busy had taught Joel to take hold of one corner of his handkerchief and snap it as he would a whip over the heads of the people. At another point he must wipe his nose; at another he must wave the handkerchief over his own head, "For," said Miss Busy, " half the speech is in the gesture." Miss Busy hinted that she once wrote a speech for a member of the British Parliament, and heard that member rehearse it too. Joel, having the fullest confidence in Miss Busy s ability, never hesitated to follow her instructions to the letter. Tom Glewer was agitating his brain over a telling speech, I4O MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. one that was calculated to be a settler to the Temperance ticket. Tom would refer to the private demijohns of Mr. Sampson and his colleagues. Tom would tell how they pretended to be overfond of watermelons in public, and how they took something in private with not so much water in it. In short, Tom would do some cutting and slashing. Madame Junk would appeal to their higher ambition. She would show them how to grow strong. She would help them up the rugged steps that lead to fame and a nation s honor. She would show them that the American race may become the greatest nation of the world. She would tell them what our nation might have been, and what it will be, provided the proper means to make it so are used. The very first step toward the advancement of our cause would be to elect A. G. Smith. But as we seldom say just those things we have laid out to say, we shall presume that Madame Junk did not get oft all of this. Joel s speech was, of course, in favor of Mr. Smith, and so was Miss Busy. In this speech, that lady had touched lightly upon our shortcomings; was careful in her references and comparisons. She wrote glowingly of the coming generation, and what might be expected of them. It was a concise and fairly written speech; it was copied ver batim in the leading journals of the city, which gratified that lady not a little. Much as we would like to please Miss Busy, we must speak the truth, and say, had the same speech been rendered by a man, the press would have taken no notice of it; but it was delivered by a boy, and that boy with a natural gift of oratory. There was a smack of sensa tional about it, which delights us Americans. It matters not if it comes in the form of a sermon from the pulpit or the drama. We like loud effect, will have it, and are will ing to pay the very highest market price for it. "We have an eagle, and we intend to keep its wings spread. We would not have our readers think that Mr. Sampson THE ORGANS. 14! and party were quiet all this time. True, Mr. Sampson had no woman and boy to work for him, as his organ exultingly put forth; but, notwithstanding this, they had the utmost confidence in his success. Mr. Sampson s organ went on to say that the intelligent portion of the community were not asleep, and that said community valued a Christian man, and one, too, with education. They thought their candi date was born right; he was a man who would in no way countenance corner groceries, which, under the pretense of selling crackers and salt, in reality sell whisky. Ah no! Mr. Sampson s organ knew the people would not be dumb- fuzzled this time. The next day Mr. A. Goliah Smith s organ came out with a two-column leader, in which the editor said his journalistic brother seemed very much agitated over corner groceries. The writer of the article presumed that his brother journal ist would feel better when informed that these corner gro ceries dealt in pop, and sometimes watermelons. In short, that article whipped the devil around the stump pretty well. CHAPTEE XIX. THE PEOPLE S MAN COMPLIMENTS AND CAKES. r I ^HIS was the first election Miss Busy had ever been in- _1_ terested in. "When it came off she sat up all night waiting for Joel to bring the news. So did Madame Junk. So did Tom Glewer. So did the two candidates. Mrs. Sampson kept a solitary watch-meeting. Mrs. A. G. Smith went to bed. Many other citizens retired also. At last the returns were read and it was found that the Hon. Amos Goliah Smith was elected by an overwhelming majority. Cheer upon cheer went up and cheered up A. G. Smith. The flowing bowl went round and flowed over, and so did Smith. The name of Smith rang out upon the morning dawn. There was such a racket Mrs. Smith could not sleep. She got up to see what the noise was about, and found five brass bands in front of her house playing " Hail Columbia." If she had had one drop of patriotic blood in her veins it would have danced this morning. As it was, she said it made her head ache. The old cannon was brought out, and, loaded with an extra charge, such terrific volleys were fired that half the windows in the city were broken. But what is a country without a cannon? And what is a cannon if you cannot fire it off on election day ? Letters of congratulation poured in from all parts of the country. The writers of these letters stated that they were glad he had won the day. They hoped he would remember them. They had worked hard to elect him, etc. Of course, Mr. Smith would do it; but, if he keeps his word, every municipal officer must be removed to make way for his A WAGON-LOAD OF COMPLIMENTS. 143 friends. There was a general hilarious jubilee. But Mad ame Junk, Joel and Miss 5usy were not forgotten. The Congressman sent them an express wagon full of goodies with his compliments. His compliments were so profuse that it required a separate cart to convey them. These ladies had sufficient rations to feed a small army. If Mad ame Junk did not " swing around the circle " for the next few days, it was because there was no swing. All the poor men whom she had induced to vote her ticket, were treated to a choice morsel, and their families also. Madame Junk was in her element. Nothing pleased her so much as to play Lady Bountiful. In the exuberance of her spirits, she called upon Samuel and tendered him a huge sweet cake, all filigreed around, and with General "Warren done up in sugar, dressed in full uniform, with one foot firmly planted, wav ing the star-spangled banner, looking as if he had just re turned from the battle of Bunker Hill. It was an inappro priate time to call, for Samuel Blower s windows had been broken from the jar of the cannon, and we will ask what Englishman could feel in a proper mood under those circumstances? And then to have General Warren dug up and made over into sugar, was asking too much. Madame Junk found her brother-in-law with an ominous scowl upon his brow, and .both ears filled with cotton. At first he could not hear her say, " Samuel, I have brought you a cake." He drew a wad of cotton from one ear and asked her if the damned fools were done with their nonsense; he had been through the war, but never in his life had he heard such a racket. For his part, he thought it was bad enough for men to get so excited; but when women began to electioneer it was an abomination. Madame Junk let him fume until his wrath worked off, then she set about making a delicious cup of coffee. She laid the table nicely, placing thereon such things as the larder of Samuel Blower afforded, together with the cake, 144 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. and the silent sugar soldier poked the American flag right under Samuel s nose. The trio sat about the board Samuel, Betsy and Jane Junk. Gradually the conversation became more animated. Betsy and Jane spoke of family affairs, past reminiscences, and their descent from Oliver Cromwell. By degrees Samuel forgot the broken glass, and removed the cotton from the other ear. " How would you like to get into the Custom House, Samuel?" " Why do you ask that question, Jane? You know hit is himpossible." " Samuel, you know I never speak of impossible things. I have the promise of such a position for you." " Jane/ broke out Betsy, in pathetic tones, "you always was so good you always return good for evil." " Betsy, old your tongue; you know you don t mean a word you say. Hif you was one alf as good a disposition as Jane, you would ave made me a appier man." " A happier man, indeed! An angel from heaven could not live in peace with you!" " You are right. No hangels will venture to visit a man where you are." At this last thrust Betsy began to sob. Madame Junk tried hard to restore quiet. Samuel said that was " hal- ways" the way; he could never ave a meal in comfort, and he would not stay in a ouse where there was no sort of armony. He called for his aversack, and flew from closet to closet packing up his clothing. Madame Junk walked after him, and muttered something about incompatibility of temper and not being born right. Betsy was sent to bed and Samuel went down town, and General Warren was left master of the field. Madame Junk sat down to the table, drank another cup of coffee, and looked at the sugar General and said: " Yes, you were born right. I wish our country was filled with men born as you were." CHAPTEK XX. SHE WAS MY WIFE MADAME JANE JUNK AND THE HON. A. G. SMITH. time appointed for Madame Junk s and Joel s trial JL had arrived. They were summoned before the Court and witnesses were sworn; among them Jonas Pictpink and wife. They had nothing to say for or against Madame Junk she had bought a great many old clothes of them. The detective gave the dying Maria s statement. Madame Junk was asked if she ever saw the man Burns before. She looked directly at him and their eyes met. There was a prolonged stare, which attracted the attention of the Court. The Court reminded Madame Junk that they were waiting for her answer. "When it came there was that quiver in the voice that told of buried grief. " Yes, I saw him years ago, but he is greatly changed." The Judge then asked the man if he had ever seen Mad ame Junk before; and if so, when and where, and under what circumstances? " The last time I saw Madame Junk was fifteen years ago; the first time I saw her was twenty years ago," replied the prisoner, with a bold front. " Did you know her intimately? " "I should think so, Sir. She was my wife ! " Had a thunderbolt fallen in their midst, they would not have been more astonished. Poor Joel suffered most of all. His arms hung limp by his side, his cheeks were blanched to an ashy hue, his large eyes dilated, and with a feverish glare he fixed them on the man. Madame Junk saw all, 146 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. and glided to Joel s side. She placed her hand upon his shoulder, and said: "Be brave, my boy. We have suf fered, and can go through this." At this disclosure, every thing wore a different aspect. The Pictpinks looked at Madame Junk with a grin of delight, as much as to say: "Madame, you are caught in your own trap." "Is that man the boy s father?" asked the Court of Madame Junk. With as steady a voice as she could com mand, she answered: "He is." Are you his mother ? " " I have acted the part of ar mother since he was an in fant." "That is not answering the question. Did you give birth to that boy?" "No, Sir." Now the Court was mystified. " Were you ever that man s wife?" "Yes, Sir." " Were you the mother of children by him ? " "Yes, Sir; two." "Where are they?" Madame Junk raised her eyes r and said, in a tremulous tone, " In heaven! " c How came you with this boy ? " Madame Junk s whole bearing changed. Her eyes flashed, her voice was emphatic, and its clear truthful ring thrilled her hearers. " How did I come by this boy? I did not steal him, as I shall prove to you. How did I come by this boy ? you ask. That boy was sent to me by his father, that I might rear him as a Christian, and make him a good, useful citi zen. That boy was given to me by his father, because that father had faith in me; because that father trusted me; and because there remained sufficient manhood in that father to desire that his son should make a better man than he is. " Have you any proof of these things ? " THE TRIAL. 147 The -words were scarcely uttered before there rose up from the crowd a man with a red, bloated face, who sang out, in round rich Irish brogue : And begorra she has ! It was meself that was after taking the spalpeen to her." This gentleman was taken into custody at once. The Court then asked Mr. Burns who the boy s mother was. " She was my wife, your Honor." "A legal wife?" "A legal wife. Madame Junk was divorced from me in the State of New York. I afterwards married a young girl. One child was born to us a boy. I persuaded my wife to give the child in care of an institution for orphans, but in reality I sent the boy to my former wife. I have the firm est confidence in her as a Christian woman. She is the only woman I would trust to rear a child of mine." The man grew eloquent, and the Court forgot its decorum. " The world may now watch the progress of this boy, and see if my confidence has been misplaced. That boy and his adopted mother are as innocent as unborn babes, of aiding or abetting me to escape from prison. They were alike innocent of knowing me." His deep bass voice rose a key higher. " They are entirely irresponsible for any charge the Court has brought against them. I alone am guilty, and I alone should be punished. " All this time Joel stood with stony stare, and his heart full of bitter curses. He closed his teeth firmly to keep from shouting, " You lie! you lie like a thief! You are not my father!" Had he never been "developed" by Miss Busy; had he never met Carrie, or her father; if he had never been advanced beyond carrying papers to the prison ers; if he had kept right along working for God he would have been spared this humiliation. God would have taken the responsibility. But Joel had been waked up; he had learned that he must carry his ow r n burdens, and bear his own humiliations. Madame Junk had taught Joel he must 148 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. do his duty, and God would take care of the rest. Now Joel thought it was vice versa. God would do his duty, and we must take care of ourselves. From this time Joel s re ligious views began to change. He no longer thought God responsible for our misfortunes. There stood the criminal the world would call his father. No matter what his am bitious hopes had been, this was a blight. No matter what eminence he might attain, this would always be a reflection. "We do not intend to attend this trial all through, or have our readers do so. It lasted long enough to prove Madame Junk and Joel innocent of aiding and abetting prisoners to escape the law. Good Dr. S called on Madame Junk, and tendered his sympathy, at the same time expressing the greatest in terest in Joel. Madame Junk was widely known among all classes, and especially among the poor. Soon after the election of the Hon. A. G. Smith to Congress, Madame Junk received a note from that gentleman requesting an in terview. This she graciously granted, and appointed the next afternoon as the most convenient time. She was to wait upon him at his office. " Yes/ thought Madame Junk, he has been thinking the matter over, and sees the neces sity of a prison reform." But do not flatter yourself, my good Madame Junk; it is nothing of the sort. She had re ceived the five hundred dollars from the detective, and a good share of it had been made up from the Senator s purse. She had made up her mind that this money should go to ward building this prison reform. Again Madame Junk donned her ancient black brocade, and heightened its effect by real laces about the neck and at the wrists. It was seldom she ever honored any one by thus attiring herself. Madame Junk found Mr. Smith await ing her. It was unlike her first call. He shook hands with her warmly; said he was very glad that she had come out all right; he always believed she would. Thereupon the lady remarked that (< fortune favored the brave, and God THE CALL. 149 sustained the right." All this the Senator had no doubt about. After the usual preliminaries had been gone through with for opening a conversation, the Senator said: " Where is Joel now ? Why has not the boy called to see me since the election ?" " Joel is rather depressed since the trial. He thinks you have no use for him; he is painfully sensitive/ " Have you any line laid down for the boy to follow ?" " No, Sir, not especially, except that I intend to make him a good man, and, above all, an honest one." That is right. Has he any guardian but you ?" " No, he has no need of any but me," said Madame Junk, bridling up at such a question. " Well, Madame, I do not wish you to infer that I think he has needed any other. I am very much interested in this boy, and should be pleased to do something for him. I should like to see that boy apply his wonderful talent in the right direction. Madame, would you be willing that I should be appointed Joel s guardian, provided the boy would like it ?" "If you were appointed his guardian, how would you direct him ?" " I would educate him first." " That is good," replied Madame Junk; " but theoretical education has turned out a great number of blockheads." " That may be true," replied the Senator, with a laugh; " but that was where they were natural born wooden heads. Education, combined with intellect, may achieve much more than intellect without education. You believe in education, do you not, Madame ?" "I believe in knowledge. All knowledge comes from practical experience. A man may read much of travels and explorations, but to have knowledge we must ourselves explore. 1 Very good, Madame; but does not education develop a desire to know for ourselves?" 150 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. Madame Junk knew all this as well as he; in fact she was only talking to draw him out, and ascertain his exact views in regard to general things; she was more pleased than she chose to show. Think over my proposition, and ask Joel to call and see me; I wish the boy to feel at home with me/ "I should judge, by the interest you have taken in Joel and myself, that you were a believer in social equality." "Ah no! in this you are mistaken. I do not believe in the social equality of brains; I only believe in the classifi cation of them; I believe they should be placed in order according to their weight and value, and that, too, irrespec tive of birth or money." "That comes from your past experience, Senator, which is worth more than all the college courses in the world." At the words "college courses" the Senator reddened. He, too; was sensitive. He had had this flung in his teeth be fore, but in a much less delicate way than Madame Junk had done it. The lady saw that he was the least bit touched, and hastened to make good this indiscreet allusion to his lack of education, by saying: " Do you know, Senator, that it has always been the men who have suffered, and have made themselves, that have advanced this nation, and every other nation? A man is only great in proportion to the obstacles he overcomes in attaining a great object." "If this be true," replied the Senator, with a laugh, "it would be worth the while of every man who wishes to be great to court obstacles/ "Not necessarily. If great objects could be attained without obstacles, greatness would become such a common place thing we should hardly be able to discern between great and small." "Perhaps, Madame, we might define this better by the word strength." "No, Senator, it would still have the same meaning. It requires strength to lift big things, I don t care whether physically or mentally." THE REFORM QUESTION. 151 Madame Junk was not a little disappointed that the Sen ator never so much as once referred to the prison reform question. Indeed, it had quite passed out of that gentle man s mind; so she opened the ball in a neat, round-about way, by going back to the word classify. " Senator, you say that you believe in the classification of talent. If so, I should think you would rear an institution encouraging and promoting such a classification. Now, don t you know that there are men and boys incarcerated in our jails and prisons who are really gifted?" "Yes," returned the Senator; " gifted they are, but devil ish lazy. Excuse the expression, Madame; I have so little forbearance for a gifted man who has no principle. Mad ame, I think such an institution as you speak of would only encourage crime." "But suppose these men were not brought up in fear of the Lord men who never had a mother that taught them to pray." "A man with a superior brain does not require to be taught to fear the Lord in order to do the right." The Sen ator waxed warm. "Why, Madame! if such an institution were to be erected for talented profligacy, you would find these scamps outwitting us at every turn. Such an institu tion might come under the name of a resort to enable men to evade the law, for in reality it would be that." "I do not doubt," said Madame Junk, "there would be instances where we should be disgraced; but the blessed Bible tells us, Inasmuch as ye did it unto one of the least of these, my brethren, ye have done it unto me. " " That is all very well, but I prefer to save my one sinner in another way, and not at the risk of encouraging the ninety-nine in crime. Yes, Madame, there is much religion taught upon the questions of reform, but I have observed that men and women usually choose that path in life they love the best. Still, I will admit that circumstances and in fluence, combined with early training, have much to do with 152 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. forming the character. Almost the entire responsibility rests with the mothers." "Yes/ 5 said Madame Junk, eagerly, this being the first opening for the pet theme. " But, Senator, it begins be fore birth. When men and women understand the law of propagation for the human race one half as well as they do that of the dumb beasts, we shall have no need of institu tions for reform." " Yes, Madame, I understand your meaning; but answer me this question: How is it that children born under the most favorable and harmonious circumstances, ofttimes make the worst men and women ? For instance, the children of divines are ofttimes as bad as bad can be." "Ah!" said Madame Junk, " we do not see the inner life of those fathers and mothers. Everything may look lovely to outsiders, but there is something wrong behind the cur tain, depend upon it." " Well, then, let us take the opposite side of the ques tion. Excuse me for the comparison, Madame. Here is Joel. From all that we can learn of his parentage, he was born under anything but favorable conditions. His father is an outlaw, and I should judge his mother was but very little better; and yet this boy is honesty boiled down. I know, for I have tested him in every way." " I brought Joel up," said Madame Junk, with a little asperity in her tones. " I understand that," said the Senator, " and it proves that the boy s great principles have nothing to do with his parentage. Madame, we have prolonged this conversation. I hope," said the Senator, taking out his timepiece, " that we may have an opportunity of discussing this question at some future time." ( I have a book nearly completed on the Proper Propaga tion of the American Race." " Ah, indeed! I shall take pleasure in perusing it," taid the Senator, in his blandest tones. PLANS FOR JOEL. 153 " How long will you remain here, Senator?" " Three weeks. During that time I should like to estab lish Joel in some place where he can have a show worthy of his ability. Madame, do you not think the boy has talent for a lawyer?" "Maybe he has," said Madame Junk; "we know he can talk. All that would come in the way of such a profes sion for Joel would be his honesty," said the lady, with a smile. "I have been thinking," said the Senator, " if you and Joel conclude to let me have a voice in the directing of him, I have a plan which seems to me feasible. Let us see: how old is Joel?" "Fourteen." " Don t you think Joel thinks himself too old to be taught by that English lady that Miss Much-to-do, or what is her name?" " Miss Busy," corrected Madame Junk. " Ah, yes; I ve a poor memory for names." " No, Sir; I do not think he does; and if he does, I don t. Miss Busy is very competent and the best educated woman in California. There are none of the men teachers any bet ter educated, and I doubt if there are any so well." " Boys are sometimes a little sensitive about being taught by a woman," said the Senator. " I have a friend who is a lawyer; he was formerly Attorney-General of New Jersey. This gentleman has heard Joel speak several times and has taken a lively interest in the boy." " What name, please?" said Madame Junk. " D. D. Spludge." " Yes, I have heard of him." " Well, what I propose is, that Joel shall go on with his evening studies, under the tuition of Miss Work " " Miss Busy," corrected Madame Junk again. " And shall begin work with D. D. Spludge through the day. In this way the theory you so much object to will be 154 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. done away -with. Mr. Spludge will pay him small wages, enough to develop an independent spirit, which is one of the first essentials in a man. If I had a son, the first thing I would teach him would be self-reliance." 4 Your plan looks like one that might be safely adopted. I will talk with Joel, and you had better talk with him also. When will you have Joel call ? " "Well, I will name to-morrow evening, at my residence. At my office, through the day, I should be subjected to many interruptions. Remember, Madame, I do not wish the guardianship of the boy, unless yourself and Joel de sire it. My motive is a disinterested one. I have very little fear that the boy will not be eventually all right, but I thought my influence might not be out of place in giving him a start." " Senator, you are kind beyond what I thought a man could be in your position." Madame Junk did not like to trust herself to say more. Her voice was growing the least mite tremulous, as she put out her hand, and said only two words more "Good by," and was gone. CHAPTEE XXL D. D. SPLUDGE AND FAMILY THE WILL OF GODDIF* FERENCE IN CHRISTIAN VIEWS CHRISTIANITY IN PRISON. A LLOW us, reader, to introduce you to D. D. Spludge, ._j\ Esq. His mother named him, when he was four weeks old, David Delight Spludge. He was called David after a brother of old Mrs. Spludge, and Delight after a sister; and he has since proved to that good mother, as far as the Delight part of his name is concerned, that he was not miscalled. On his mother s side, he descended directly from the Puritan fathers. There was a good deal of Plym outh Bock in Mr. Spludge s composition. Mr. Spludge is tall, and as straight as a rule. He is a rule. He does everything by rule; therefore he is a good disciplinarian. He is an able counsel in all things. Furthermore, he is married, has a wife and two children a girl and a boy. The girl is ten or twelve, the boy eight. The boy s name is not Delight, but James William. The daughter s name is Lilian. Mrs. Spludge s name is Mary. Mrs. Spludge is a good little woman, who has been thoroughly regulated by her husband. Mr. Spludge does not belong to that class termed wealthy men of America; still, he is not what we call a poor man, his real estate, goods and chattels being appraised at some thing over five hundred thousand dollars; and, mind you, this has been acquired by his own management. His father and mother did not give him anything but a good educa tion, and a fine broadcloth freedom suit when he was 156 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. twenty-one. Mr. Spludge lives iu what we call good style. His household is a well-regulated one. He keeps two men- servants and two maid-servants, has a spanking turnout, and a pew in church; attends pretty regularly, and his wife and children very regularly. Take him all in all, he is not a bad man. Now that we have performed the ceremo nious duty of introducing D. D. Spludge and family, we will turn to old acquaintances. Madame Junk flew hither and thither. She called upon her beloved pastor, the good Dr. S , and consulted with him in regard to the proposition for Joel. The good man advised her by all means to accept it. Kind Providence had placed it in her way, and no doubt it was the will of God. After Madame Junk and her pastor had looked this thing over, the Senator came in for a very small share of what looked to be the good fortune of Joel. They gave all the credit to God, without so much as crediting one cent s worth to the Senator s goodness of heart. We hope the reader will not misunderstand them, and think they de signed to be unjust. In their inordinate love of God, the Senator was forgotten. The pastor touched lightly upon Madame Junk s past life; and she confided to him its sor rows and burdens. Madame Junk had a disagreeable task to perform. Nevertheless, it was a duty, and she would religiously carry it out. The world now understood in what relation the gentlemanly forger stood to her and Joel. No one blamed her. She was honored for the straightforward principles which she had ever maintained. A woman who is forty years of age may be looked upon as rather too an tiquated for an interesting heroine. "We know our readers (especially the male portion of them) would prefer a hand some, dashing heroine, twenty years younger. "We regret that we cannot oblige them, but we are just out of that quality of heroine. Madame Junk was about to visit that obdurate man. NO LONGER YOUNG. 157 With this view, we find her this morning making her toilet with unusual care, while her sister, Betsy Blower, sits in one corner of the room. Betsy is bewailing the supposed loss of their respectability and asking of what avail it is now that they descended from Oliver Cromwell ? " Jane, you see what comes of poking around after rags. If you d staid away from that rag-shop, we should not have been in this disgrace." "Maybe not, Betsy; but we might have had something worse. It is all the will of God. If I can redeem the man s soul I don t mind the disgrace." " Jane, if you could not redeem the man when you were young and handsome, I do not see how you expect to do it now that you are old and have lost your beauty." " All, Betsy? " and Madame Junk gave a little start, and glanced at the small looking-glass before which she was dressing her hair. "Yes, Betsy, that is true; I am no longer young and good-looking; but you must remember he, too, is of my age, and maybe years of experience in crime have shown him that c the way of the transgressor is hard?" "Suppose you do convince him of a God and a future world, he will have to serve seven years in the penitentiary. He can never be respected; he will never be anybody." Betsy, I am astonished at your selfish views on religion. You are a discredit to the Cromwells. Will not repentance and a trust in God be a comfort to him in these long years of confinement? Is "there not more joy in heaven among the angels over one sinner that repenteth, than over ninety and nine just persons that need no repentance ? What do you think our pastor would say to your religious views ? I have consulted him, and he advises me to assist this man to seek the Lord, and I shall follow his counsels." " Has he ? Then I advise you to do so too. When you first spoke I thought it was another one of your wild-goose chases." 158 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " Yes, Dr. S thought I had best go alone this time and talk with this man; but the next time he will accom pany me." "You don t say so! How good he is! I will go with you when our pastor goes. You know, Jane, I am a good talker and can probably do as much toward converting this man as any other woman; any way, I do not think it is any more than right I should try." " Betsy, you remember you never was a favorite of his f he never liked you as a child/ " Well, I guess there was no love lost. I always knew he was a rascal, and my words have proven true. I was a fool to offer to save him. He can t be saved, and never will be." With these words, Betsy flounced out of the room, went home, and comforted herself with an extra strong cup of tea. When Madame Junk had completed her toilet, she glanced again at herself in the small glass. A little sigh crept up over her lips as she soliloquized to herself, " Yes! yes! I am growing old. I forget it. Only when I am re minded do I remember that I am forty. How time flies ! It seems scarcely more than a week since I gave my heart and hand to Ralph Drewer. I thought I should be happy, but alas! he was not born right. Poor man! I was too young. Had I then had the knowledge I possess to-day, I believe I could have redeemed him. Never too late to do good. I will gird on the armor of the Lord and put my hand to the plow without looking back." Madame Junk sat resting her left elbow in the palm of her right hand; her left hand was shading her eyes. She had made it a rule never to do anything without asking God to help her. This is what she is doing now; she is praying earnestly for the man who wrecked her early life; she is praying that the lost sheep may be brought within the fold. After she had offered up this silent prayer to God, she arose, THE INTERVIEW. 159 put on her high, old-fashioned bonnet, and a shawl, which she wore many years ago, and started out upon her Christian duty. In her walk toward the prison, she seemed to be in a brown study. The jailer greeted her with as much suavity as he possessed. Anticipating her wish before she had time to name it, he led the way to what was known as Burns s cell, this gentleman being known in the community by that name. Before they reached it, Madame Junk asked the man to un lock the door, and leave her alone with the man at least an hour, at the same time adding that her beloved pastor would accompany her the next time. The key was turned in the lock, and Madame Junk stepped within the small cell. The man was stretched upon his cot. He stood up, and bowed as low as the narrow place would admit. "I regret that my accommodations are so limited, but you are welcome to such as they are." "Your accommodations are as good as I can expect under existing circumstances." Madame Junk, in her younger days, had not been slow at repartee, and could hold her own now when called out. The two sat looking at each other for at least a minute. The man was the first to speak. "Where is the boy?" " About the city somewhere." " Does he come home at night ?" " Certainly; my house is his home, such as it is." Has he never evinced any desire to see me ?" " Joel has never expressed any such wish in my hearing." " My son is no beggar, Madame; I have money." " He shall never touch it while I live, and not after I am dead, if I can help it. I brought that boy up, and his hands have never been stained by dishonest or ill-gotten gains." The man smiled, and his white teeth glittered like a row of tombstones. l6o MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " Still riding your old hobby, Jane." " Yes, I am going to ride into heaven on it; won t you take a seat?" " No! Much as I appreciate your kindness, the coach is too slow." " But it is sure and secure." " Not if you have me for a cargo." " When I invited you to take a seat with me, of course there were conditions which I should have named." "I should have known that. Will you please- name them ?" " You should divest yourself of sin; you should seek re pentance, and become pure in heart; you should ask God to forgive you for all your past misdeeds; you should spend the balance of your life in serving God." " A man cannot serve two masters, Jane; and you see I have to go to work shortly for the State. I want to see my boy, and have a talk with him first." "Do you?" "Yes, and I will." Will you?" "Yes, Madame; I will." " Did you not give the boy to me ?" "Yes, I did; but I did not anticipate your diabolical wish that I should never see the boy or call him mine." " How do you know I do not wish you to see him?" "I know you, Jane, of old. You are firm in what you think is right; and your maudlin sentiment in regard to religion will stand in the boy s way." " Religion can never stand in the way of honor and principle." "I suppose you have a wagon-load of conditions for me before you will consent that I should see the boy?" "Yes; I have some conditions which must be complied with before I shall allow you to see my boy. Ealph, I did not come here to wrangle with you. I came to beseech you to seek repentance and be saved." THE INTERVIEW. l6l "Be saved?" said the man, bitterly. "I want to see my boy. Haven t I a right to feel proud of such a son?" "No," said Madame Junk, flatly; "you have not. What have you done to make him what he is ? You had not suf ficient confidence in your own right-doing to bring him up. You may prate until doomsday about my religion; when it comes to the point you will trust me and my religion. You have said this in a court of justice. You preferred that I should rear an object you loved. And now that he bids fair to become all that a man should be, you ask if you have not a right to feel proud of him, when you have never done one thing toward inculcating those principles you so much admire. As a sire, you would be a discredit to any offspring. From the moment I received the child I began making him over, so to speak. From the moment he could lisp a word I taught him honesty. I taught him the great sin of stealing, and of fraud, and of all kinds of duplicity." Madame Junk had spoken warmly, emphatically, and hurriedly; so much so that she was out of breath. When she had finished, the man held out his hand; he hung his head; he looked ashamed. When he looked up there was moisture in his eyes. "Jane, you are the only woman I have ever wholly and entirely trusted. You have held a glass that I might see myself. I do not like my portrait. What are the condi tions upon whicli I may see your son?" "The first and foremost is, that you will not tell him that you have money, and intend giving it to him. If you make any such attempt, I shall upset your plans;" and Madame Junk s blue eye flashed determination. "Joel shall by his own energy, and the help of God, earn every dollar he has." " Jane, you are insane. What shall I do with my money?" " Give it back to the poor, from whom you robbed it." "Take that back, Jane! Take it back. It is a falsehood the first one I ever heard you utter. Take it back! I never took a dollar from a poor man in my life; but on the ii 1 62 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. contrary, I have given thousands to the poor." His face reddened, his black eyes flashed, and all the manhood there was in him rebuffed the accusation. She laughed a low musical laugh. " Jane, you should modify your statements a little. You should say I had robbed the men who had robbed the poor; that would come under the truth. I was only following the Scripture where it reads, As ye measure unto others, so it shall be measured back to you again/ " Madame Junk was thinking intently; she had scarcely heard one word the man had been saying. " Ralph, I have a noble plan for you; and one that would be worthy in the sight of God." " Jane, please to leave God out. I have every reason to think He does not feel friendly toward me. I much prefer that you should say that you have a plan that would be worthy in the sight of men. I might listen then." " Well, in the sight of men, if you will have it so. For the least ye do unto one of them, ye do unto me also. As I have told you before, my son Joel shall never accept one dime of your money. If you wish to atone for your past crimes, build a States Prison Reform." "Ho! ho! ha! ha! "Well, now, Madame, excuse my laughter. You are jesting. Build a fine home for knaves to dwell in? Why, Jane, you are more mad than you used to be. Well! well! Build a home and languish in prison myself I" " Ralph, with all your shrewdness you are far from being diplomatic. Can t you see how such a move would tend toward a brief sojourn in prison? Why, you would be par doned out in a year s time." The man thought a moment, and with selfish interest he grasped the idea. Madame Junk had touched the right chord and intended to thrum it. There is no reason why a criminal cannot be a philanthropist. " It would be new, at least," said the man, thoughtfully, THE INTERVIEW. 163 " and the world is ever ready to take up new things. But, Jane, if I am going in for a pardon, I shall build a church." Madame Junk was disappointed. "We have plenty of churches now, but no prison reforms.** " I don t care for that; I shall go for the most popular thing. Who has any confidence in a convict? No matter if he is reformed a dozen times over. But they have confi dence in a house of worship. I shall build a church, and hire a strict orthodox minister of the most ultra sort to preach. If that won t gain me a pardon, nothing will. The church may be dedicated to the conversion of criminals who are discharged from prisons and jails. The idea is capital. I cannot think the plan up in a minute, but it shall be drawn on the popular side, and as sensational as theology will admit." Here was Madame Junk floored by her own theory ! "Then, Jane, I am under obligation to you for many things, and I know there is nothing that will please you so much as a church. You can never say again that I have done nothing for mankind. The world will think better of Joel s father." The man s inordinate vanity crept out all through this talk. He saw himself a piece of history. " Janei I am obliged to you for this idea on the reform question." He had scarcely finished this sentence before the jailer returned and told them the hour was up. Madame Junk arose, and in a stately way bowed. The man arose also, and bowed his head. Looking from beneath his black eyebrows he waved his small white hand and said: "Adieu, Madame, adieu." His polish would have better graced a drawing-room than that narrow cell. Madame Junk was not without her vanity. She dearly loved renown but if she gained it, it must be on the strict road of principle. If we analyze her thoughts we shall find they run thus : "Yes! let him build a church; I shall 164 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. get the credit of it. I shall be looked upon as the indirect instrument through which it was brought about. The world shall know that I would not allow Joel to have his money. "What! A man building a church wherein to worship God, who has no faith in the existence of such a being ? I will talk with Dr. S about this. A man build a church who don t believe in God! This is mockery, and will not our good Dr. S think so?" Such were Madame Junk s thoughts as she plodded her way home. Miss Busy was wont to term her class of juveniles the prodigy class. In this we somewhat agree with her; at least, there were individuals in this school that were such great prodigies, that had their capacity been divided up and spread around, it would have made the whole school above par. Among the number was Sternna. What a wonderful genius the child displayed in art! George Gregory Glewer would sit by her side in the most profound awe, and watch her draw figures, cats, dogs, hens and roosters. To the three G s, Sternna was a living wonder. If he was stupid in other things, he was fully awake to her ability. To Sternna, George Gregory Glewer was the very best boy she ever saw. He was always good, and never rude like other boys. Kate saw the growing attachment between the children, and hoped it would only prove a childish one. Tom Glewer s business throve apace, and the knowing ones said he would be a rich man. He is not poor now, for he has a jewel of a wife and a promising son; but what is bad about it is, that Tom is not competent to appraise his own property, and understands very little of its real value. Tom was a law-abiding citizen, and Kate was nature s gifted but uncultured woman. There seemed a world within this world to her, as her mind opened to the fact that there is a world of research after hidden meanings, and that, too, within the scope of those who are endowed by nature with a desire to seek for them and strength to work for them. Those who are mentally weak do not require AN AMBITIOUS WOMAN. 165 this food; those who are strong, and have tasted it, thirst for it. Life is incomplete; there is something they -want, but cannot define. "We have said that it was within the scope of all : but it must first come within the sight. Once the door of nature swung ajar and we enter; feasting upon the choice things of God s designing, we are no longer con tent with a dessert. God and nature, ever harmonious and true, classify the children of earth as we do its flowers. Men have learned that certain flowers require a particular soil, and God knows, and we know, that the children of earth are often dwarfed for want of proper room to grow in. "Bless d are those Whose blood and judgment are so well commingled, That they are not a pipe for fortune s finger To sound what stop she please. " Our unlettered Mrs. Tom Glewer belonged to that class referred to in the above quotation. Madame Junk was the key that unlocked the door of nature s great repository for Kate. Through Madame Junk, Kate knew Miss Busy, and through Miss Busy Kate was introduced to our best authors, and through our authors a mighty canvas was stretched, upon which the latent pictures of Kate s soul were drawn. She was surprised at its immensity, and wondered that her imagination could have slept so long. She was alone with her new friends, who spoke to her from antique pages. She knew better than to introduce them to her husband: nature had never designed him for such society. CHAPTER XXII. STUDYING LAW THE ROBIN CHRISTIAN PRINCIPLES AND NATURE S TRUTH. SENATOR A. G. SMITH had passed the first year of his second term in Congress, and, notwithstanding his lack of education, had made some startling disclosures in regard to several things pertaining to government affairs which had won for him a name through the land. Madame Junk, in referring to him, generally termed him " our man." The Senator did not deem it expedient to remove his family to "Washington, as he feared the effect of the climate upon his wife s health; so it was that Miss Busy still taught Carrie privately, that is, with the children of the "hightoned families. Miss Busy had never violated her trust by bringing Carrie and Sternna together. Sternna was the child of charity, and Carrie was the daughter of the man of millions. The young girls had often met. They glanced kindly at each other, but waited for Miss Busy s sanction tp speak. Both girls were too natural to realize their separate social stations. Miss Busy loved Sternna too much not to acknowledge within herself the equality of the girls talents. If nature had done more for the one than the other, that one was Sternna. Painting and drawing were her ambition; she had not the taste for the technicalities of common book learning. Carrie was prac tical, and developed at a wonderful rate in composition; she could write quite a nice little essay, made up exclusively of her own thoughts. Once she wrote three verses on a dead bird, which were so good that Miss Busy recommended send- POETRY AND PAINTING. 1 67 ing them to her father. Miss Busy was in the habit of talk ing 1 with Sternna over all these matters, and she was so much pleased with this poem that she read it to Sternna. The girl s large eyes began to dance. " Oh, where is the bird, Miss Busy?" " I do not know; I presume it was fancy." " Will you ask her?" said Sternna; " and if she has the bird I would like to look at it." Miss Busy asked Carrie if it was a real bird she had written about. "Oh, yes; I could not make that up." "Where is it?" " I buried it in the garden yesterday." " I ask," said Miss Busy, " because my little friend wanted to look at it." " Does she ? I can dig it up, and I will." Next day Carrie brought the bird down, done up in a piece of paper with as much care as if it had been a bit of her own wedding-cake. True, its feathers were somewhat rumpled. Sternna smoothed the breast with her finger, and the dark brown and yellow feathers were soon adjusted. " What are you going to do ?" asked Miss Busy. " I am going to paint it." " Yes, it will be a good subject for your next sketch." Sternna laid it on a cloth, hung it up in this light, and turned it over in that. Then a new thought seemed to flash over her mind. She brought in grape leaves, and some boughs from a laurel tree, made a bed of them, placed the bird thereon, and began to work. She seemed inspired with a new zeal. Miss Busy watched with wonder. That was the first day. Miss Busy admitted to herself that she could teach Sternna nothing more in painting and drawing. The pupil had advanced beyond her teacher, and Miss Busy found herself some distance in the rear. When evening came, and Miss Busy and Sternna were sitting quietly alone, the girl spoke out abruptly: 1 68 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " Miss Busy, can I do what I please with this sketch ?" " Yes, my dear. "What do you wish to do with it ?" " I should like to give it to Carrie; it is her bird, not mine. Do you think she would "be pleased to have it?" " Yes, my dear; any one would be pleased to have it." Next morning Sternna was up with the birds. She had no appetite for breakfast when Miss Busy called her to drink a cup of coffee; she was intent on color. This shade of brown would bring out that shade of yellow. The young girl artist would half close her eyes, throw her head back, then run to the furthermost end of the room, set her head to one side, then take long steps with head bent forward, touch a feather with her brush, look again, working all ob livious to the outer world. Miss Busy had stood in the door watching her for at least twenty minutes. " Come, Sternna; don t you want breakfast?" "Just one moment more," replied the girl; and Miss Busy left her. Half an hour passed, and Sternna did not come. Again Miss Busy repaired to the studio, and found the girl work ing in the same excited way. She was touching the green leaves now. " Come, child, are you not going to have breakfast ?" " Haven t I had breakfast, Miss Busy ?" " You had breakfast yesterday morning," returned the governess, with a laugh. " I am really not the least bit hungry. I can t eat now; please excuse me." " How soon will you have this bird done ?" " I don t know. When I think I have it most done, I find something more to do." "But, my child, your health demands that you should eat." " I m not hungry, and one time will not make much dif ference." MADAME JUNK S TRAINING. 169 We will leave our young artist and look after our young lawyer. Joel was comfortably established in the law office of David Delight Spludge, Esq., for a salary of fifteen dollars per month and board. Joel would have much preferred to board with his mother; but it would be fifteen dollars with or without board, so he concluded he would take the board. This would enable him to help his mother and clothe him self. Madame Junk always suspected it was a sly manoeu vre on the part of the Senator to have Joel board with Mr. Spludge for the purpose of toning him up in little observ ances, a sort of an indirect polisher for good society. Madame Junk accepted the situation without a murmur, as being for the boy s best good. Then she argued that D. D. Spludge was a member of one of the first churches, and, doubtless, would have Joel sit in their pew. Joel would, consequently, be surrounded by a religious influence, one of the most essential points for a young boy. All this Mad ame Junk weighed in her mind and was satisfied. Joel was something more than an office boy. He was never called upon to take up the ashes, or sweep out, or blacken Mr. Spludge s shoes, although he expected to do so, and was willing. The effect of Madame Junk s train ing was apparent in small things. She had ever taught Joel humility. She had taught him that all honest labor was honorable, and his spirit took the position within himself, that he was as good as the best, as long as he behaved him self as well. Joel reasoned that truth, honesty and up right principles were all that could make one man better than another; still he was ever ready to take off his hat to knowledge, but money alone could not budge him an inch. Joel had been in the employ of D. D. Spludge three months, and he did not know him. Joel could not tell if he liked this man or not. Mr. Spludge was always cool and polite. "Whenever he entered his own house there was a hushed feeling pervading the atmosphere that had a ten- I7O MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. dency to subdue hilarity. He was never cross, but very "proper," and made every one else so. He never called Joel, Junk; lie had an abomination of the name, and fre quently told his wife that he did wish he could have Joel s name changed. He would even have been willing to give him that of Spludge, little dreaming there were those who could see no improvement, provided the change could be made. When he introduced Joel, as he sometimes did, he said, "Mr. or Mrs. So-and-so, this is Joel/ Mr. Spludge never excluded Joel from any society which visited his house. On the contrary, he seemed anxious that Joel should mingle with his visitors. Mr. Spludge dined at five o clock, in proper order, without varying a minute. The time which usually elapsed between dinner and the hour for Joel to go to Miss Busy, was spent in reading. One evening, when Mr. Spludge returned to the drawing- room, and found Joel intently poring over a book, he asked: " "What are you reading, Joel?" "The Vicar of Wakefield, Sir." " Oh ! Do you know how far the sun is from the earth ? " "No, Sir!" "Well, before you read fictitious works, you had better learn that." Joel closed his book, and waited patiently for Mr. Spludge to tell him how far the sun was from the earth; but that gentleman kept on reading the evening paper, without so much as looking up . Although Joel was greatly interested in his book, he did not open it again that evening. On the road to his evening lessons with Miss Busy, he began to think. I m sure that is a book out of his own library, and his daughter reads it, and she gave me this to read. But he is right; it is best to know how far the sun is from the earth. I ll find that out, anyhow. I wonder why he didn t tell me himself; he knows, of course. I wonder if Lilian knows; I will ask her the first chance I get." We should have mentioned some time since, that Miss JOEL VISITS THE JAIL. IJl Sally Busy had found it necessary, with her increasing pop ularity and patronage, to open quite an extensive estab lishment. Joel seldom met Carrie now, for this was a pri vate boarding-school, mostly for young ladies. There were a few boys, but they were in a separate institution. Joel saw Sternna every day; for he recited his lessons in Miss Busy s private drawing-room, and there was usually no one present but Miss Busy and Sternna. Miss Busy had come to look upon these two waifs almost as her own. She was so much attached to them, that she was interested in every move of their lives. Dear soul! God bless you, Miss Busy, and the two wrinkles between your eyes, for your kindness to these children ! Miss Busy explained everything so clearly, that Joel seemed to learn without an effort. Miss Busy took unusual pride in this boy. His education had in part been intrusted to her care, and she would fill the bill. On his road home, Joel always dropped in to see his mother. This evening, he found her looking over a huge package of papers. Among them he saw a marriage license. After the usual " How do you do, mother?" and, " I am well, Joel; how is it with you?" had been exchanged, he sat down. Madame Junk handed him this license without speaking. Joel took it in the same silent way, read it, and handed it back without a word. " Will you be very busy to-morrow, Joel ?" "I don t know; why? " " Do you think Mr. Spludge could spare you for two hours ? " "Why certainly, if you wish it." Again they were silent. Joel was wondering what new notion his mother had in her head now, and Madame Junk was wondering how she should open the subject. " I would like to have you call at the jail, Joel?" Joel frowned. < What f or ? " "To see that man." " I don t want to see that man." 172 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. "He is your father, Joel; and the blessed Bible tells us, c Honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. "I don t care what the Bible says; he is not my father he is a thief !" and the boy jumped to his feet. ( He is not my father, and I will not call him so. He is a bad man. "What claim has he on me? What has he done but dis grace me ? And do you say God asks me to honor such a man? I hate him; I never will look at him. He is a liar! I am not his son;" and the boy stamped and raved in a manner which frightened Madame Junk. "He is a mean, sneaking coward; and if God asks me to honor such a man, I cannot honor God." "Joel! Joel! Joel! Do not say that again. Do not, I beg of you, say those words again. Sit down by me, and be quiet. I want to talk with you. Your father " Don t call him my father again." "That man has repented, and he is going to build a church; he has sought God." "If he builds a church, I will never enter one again." " Oh, Joel! Do listen. Dr. S has called upon him, and he has accepted the sacrament, and is to be henceforth a good man. And, Joel, this man is far from being foolish. He is a man with more than an ordinary amount of brains." "So much the more shame for him. I despise him for that reason, if for no other. A fool I feel sorry for/ " But, Joel, you must forgive if you will be forgiven." "If I ever do as he has done, I don t want to be for given. He repents now because he thinks he can make something by it." "Joel, judge not, lest ye be judged. 5 " "Yes, I want to be judged. Let every one live to be judged not go sneaking through the world, doing wrong when he knows better. And you say this man is smart! "Well, if he isn t, I hope the law will make him." "Joel, he wants to see you very much, and ask your for giveness. I have promised him that you will call." SAD MEMORIES. 173 " Well, you will not be to blame if you do not keep your word. I shall not call. I never want to see his wicked- looking face again." "Joel! Joel! He will be removed to States Prison shortly, and must remain long years. Before his term expires you will be a man. You will prosper; you will be happy, and he will be unhappy." How shall I be happy ? Has he not made the world forever look upon me with a sneer ? Has he not disgraced me in the eyes of those I care for ?" "Joel, you are mistaken. The world should, and does, look at a man s worth, not his origin. It rests with you if you make the world honor you." "He has not even given me a name of my own. You have taken me kindly in, and given me yours." Madame Junk s head dropped on her breast, and great tears were falling in her lap. Her heart was wrung. When she looked up she said: " I know, Joel, it is a poor, humble name, but it never was disgraced. My father s family were all respectable, and descended from Oliver Cromwell." In a moment Joel was kneeling at Madame Junk s feet. He took her hand. " Forgive me, mother; I did not mean to hurt you. Your name is all right, but it is not mine, you know; that is what I meant." " Joel, this conversation calls up sad memories. My son would have been older than you are, Joel, and that man was his father. Our Heavenly Father saw fit to take him home, and my little daughter, too. For a time, Joel, I was alone in this world alone in more senses than one. Then that man sent you to me, and, Joel, I have loved you as my own; and oh! Joel, you could not be more dear to me if I were your real mother; and, Joel, I have ever tried to do what I could. It has been but little, but that little you will remember long aftef I have passed away. Joel, I have 174 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. ever sought to teacli you correct principles and the truth, and its great reward will yet be yours." " Yes, mother, you have taught me what it was to do right. I respect myself and I respect you, mother, and everybody respects you," said the boy, soothingly. He wanted to heal the wound he had made. " Mother, you have never told me anything about your history, or my own, or Sternna s. "Who is Sternna s father? and mother? I hope her father and mother were honest people. It is so much harder for a girl to have such things flung in her face than a boy." " I cannot tell you all to-night, my son; but Sternna was, without a doubt, respectably born." " I am glad, and hope she can prove it. It don t make any matter if they were poor, as long as they were not thieves," said Joel, emphasizing the word thieves, and speaking with a bitterness that showed how wrought up he was. His lips quivered, his eyes flashed, and he grew white about the mouth. For a moment there was silence, and when it was broken it was by Madame Junk, who spoke the word " Joel," and then paused. " If you are so anxious to have an honest father, it rests with you to have one. Because your father has neglected his duty toward you, is that any reason why you should neglect yours toward him? Be a man, Joel. You are no longer a child in your feelings and impulses. Christ our Redeemer liveth. Teach thy father the true way to glorify Him by thy Christian influence and thy presence; lead him up to his God; encourage him in this good work; wash pure and white his sullied name, that, dying, he may leave it to you untarnished." " Mother, that is all very well as far as God goes. This man s blackness may be washed white in the eyes of God; but in man s, never." " Do you hold man above God, Joel ?" " Why, no; but while we live in thife world we have more THE RIGHT POSITION. I 75 to do with men, and they can make it very uncomfortable for you, for you know they can twit you every day in the week about your origin, and God can t help Himself; and if He can, He don t. You know that, mother." "Joel, admitting what you say to be true in part, it is impossible for men to withhold all their approbation where there is worth, and they do not, Joel. How often you hear men spoken of after death as possessing this and that quality." " Well, maybe they do," said Joel; " but if there is any thing I hate, it is approval that comes grudgingly. Ke- formed criminals wear a tarnished name forever in this world." " Joel, I am pleased that you take this position for your self. Hold on to it while you live; it is a safe one for you; it will guard you from those shoals that other lives have been wrecked on; but while you have planted your feet firmly upon the upland, you would not refuse to stretch out your hand to a drowning criminal who is being borne down by the weight of his sins, would you?" "No." ""Well, that is the position you have taken. You are safe. Have mercy on those who are not. Lend your hand to help the sinner up." " Yes, mother, that is all very well; but the chances are that he would slide back again, and ask you to stand there all your life to help him up." "You will have done your duty, and life is full of duty. Let it be full to the brim, and neither God nor man will require more." " I must go, mother; it is getting late/ "Will you come to-morrow?" "Are you to go with me?" "If you wish." "Yes, I will come, and go alone. I might say something which would not please you. Good night, mother/ 176 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. "Good night, my son/* Joel went home and hastened to his room. Somehow he could not swallow; there seemed a lump in his throat. He did wish that he was independent. It must be nice to be free. How many long years would it be before he should take his place among men? He knew one thing: he would be mighty good to poor boys. He thought how delicate and kind Senator Smith had been to him; he wondered if he had ever been poor. Any way, Carrie never was, and never would be; her father would give her a lot of money, and then she would marry some great, rich man; but he must not think about that, or he would not sleep a wink to night. He would think how he could be a great, rich man, and not trouble himself about Carrie s great, rich man. CHAPTEK XXIII. SOCIAL CASTE THE MYSTERIOUS PACKAGE. CAKEIE SMITH wrote her father every week. We shall take the liberty to copy one of her letters which was written some time after Sternna had painted the robin. MY DEAR FATHER : Good morning ! Mother and I were so much pleased with you last kind letter. But, dear papa, I am going to scold you like everything if you don t write me about what you say in the House. I don t care a fly what other members say, I want to hear from you. But I guess I won t scold much this time, for I have some questions I want to ask you, and you must answer them in your very next letter. Dear papa, what do people mean when they talk about social caste? You know the verses I sent you about poor Dick, my robin. I have got him back again. He don t breathe quite, but he is alive. There is a charity girl at Miss Busy s, whom they call Sternna; I don t know her other name. Well, I buried Dick, and after I wrote those verses Miss Busy read them, and then she read them to Sternna, who asked Miss Busy if I would not let her see my bird. So I went home and disinterred Dick, and brought him down to Miss Busy, and next day Sternna painted his portrait. You should see it, papa. It is a great wonder, and every body said so. Every feather is right, and just exactly the color. Mother thinks it is nice, but hopes Miss Busy will teach me the importance^ of social caste. I must tell you about this girl. She is very quiet, and never speaks to me, only bows in such a respectful way, and Miss Busy never lets us come together. I wish you would write to Miss Busy and ask her to let us be acquainted with each other. She is real handsome, papa, and so nice, and has such lady- 1 78 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. like ways, and Miss Busy loves her very much, and so do I. She is the only girl in school that I would like for a friend. Mother says you would not like it; she is too obscure. But I know you would like her. You like everybody I like, and I love everybody you like; you like Joel, and so do I. Joel is still at Mr. Spludge s; I saw him sitting in their pew last Sabbath. Lilian was there, too, and looked so proud to have such a handsome boy beside her. I don t like Lilian much; I suppose Joel does, though. I send you by express Dick s portrait. I know you don t care much about Dick, but I want to see what you think about a girl that can bring a dead bird to life again. Write as soon as you receive this. With much love, I am your loving daughter, C AERIE. The Senator was always pleased to receive a letter from his young daughter. After reading this one he laughed outright. "I like Joel, and so does she. Well, that is a grand note. Sternna? Sternna?" muttered the Senator to himself; " where have I heard that name ? Ah yes! that is the little girl that Madame Junk had with her the first time that lady honored me with a visit. She was a perfect little Cinderella." Again he laughed as he thought how the child was rigged up. "By Jove! Carrie is right. As a very little e tod she had a wonderful face. I thought then she would develop into a beauty; not beauty of face alone, but beauty of character. Social caste! The devil! Give women a chance, and they would all be queens." These were the Senator s thoughts as he re-read his daughter s letter. He picked up a pen and wrote the following letter in reply: MY DEAR DAUGHTER: Your letter has just arrived. I am pleased with the tone of it. I will write Miss Busy, and ascertain if this young lady is a suitable companion for you. If so, you shall have her for a friend. Social caste/ my daughter, almost always means money; and not so often brains, as I wish it did. Social caste, with your father, means a good person, who is honest in principle, and am- SOCIAL CASTE. 179 bilious for knowledge; one who endeavors to do right in all things. But my ideas of social caste are not the world s ideas by a great ways. Generally speaking, it means wealth, and a little respectability. Once in a while a person of great intellectual capacity may overcome the want of money by talent, and thereby gain caste. When I receive the bird, dead or alive, I will send you my opinion of it. Have you any taste for painting or drawing? If so, take lessons. Love to mother. "Will write her to-morrow. Your affectionate father, AMOS SMITH. Joel arose next morning, depressed in spirits. This much-dreaded call weighed upon his mind. In the course of an hour Joel set out for his mother s room. He found that lady anxiously awaiting him. Sl I was afraid, Joel, that you were not coming." "Didn t I tell you I would come? Now then, what is to be done? What is it you wish me to say to this man?" " Joel, be kind and considerate; for as ye measure unto others, it shall be measured back to you again. " "Very good. If I measure back to him what he has measured unto me, I shan t have much to measure." "Encourage him in his new-found religion; also in building the church." Joel s hand was on the door. He had said good-by, when Madame Junk caught him by the arm and held him like a vise. She bent her tall form down, and looked with deep scrutiny into the boy s eyes. "Joel, if this man offers you money, refuse it as you would so much deadly poison whose very touch is instant death. Will you promise me this?" "You need not ask me to make such a promise. If I knew I should die before night for the want of one mouth ful of bread, I would not accept one dime from that thief." "Good, my boy!" and^Iadame Junk patted him on the shoulder; "I can trust you." As Joel was passing down the steps, he muttered some- I SO MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. thing about, "This poison may do to build a church with, but it can t build me." We hope our readers will not think Joel irreverent for wondering, as he walked along to the jail, how God could accept such a peace-offering. Joel must be pardoned if he doubted that God had come down to deal in real estate. The nearer Joel came to the jail, the more embarrassed he felt. Whom should he call for ? That thief ?" or " That gentleman forger?" as he was called in and about the jail. Wouldn t the jailer grin at him, now that he knew that this man was his father ? -And then he thought, "I have done nothing to be ashamed of; I will hold up my head and act so." Joel arrived at the jail, and told the jailer he wanted to see the man who was up for forgery. " Why don t you say you want to see your father/ said the jailer, with a horrible grin of satisfaction. "Well, I want to see my father," said the boy defiantly, " if that will suit you better." As the jailer led the way down the corridor, he said: " That father of your n is a great rascal." " Yes," said Joel. " Still a dishonest man may become honest; but a fool can never become a wise man." The jailer was not so much of a fool as not to understand the allusion, and watch for a chance to pay it back. He unlocked the cell door, and announced, " Your son, Sir; Joe Junk." Joel was paid fourfold for his wise men and fools. Jle stepped into the cell. The jailer locked the door, and stood looking through the bars, trying to catch Joel s eye; but Joel did not look around. Mr. Burns, as we shall still con tinue to call him, arose, laid the palm of his right hand in the palm of his left, stepped up to the grate, smiling gra ciously, showing his beautiful wfrite teeth, and, making a dimple in his cheek, said: " If you please, we should like this interview strictly pri- THE COMFORTS OF LIFE. l8l vate." As he said this he winked with one eye. t( You know I am good for a little time." It seemed to be a language the jailer understood, for he walked away, saying, " As long as you wish, Sir." Then this man turned, and began playing his new role. He drew his face down to a dignified expression, and held out his hand to Joel, a move which Joel pretended not to see. " I am glad to see you, my son." At the word son, Joel gave a little start, which the man pretended not to see, but went on talking with all the ease and affability of a gentleman entertaining a guest. He looked the boy over, and there was something of pride in his face. " What pursuit are you engaged in, Joel ?" Joel told him how he was employed. Is Mr. Spludge kind to you ?" " He is just and honest with me, Sir." " Do you have all you need to make you comfortable ?" " I have all the comfort I earn, Sir, and that is all any one has a right to." " I am not a poor man, Joel, and it is only fair that you should have the comforts of life." Joel s face reddened, his teeth set together, and when he opened his mouth he was only able to articulate, " Don t want it." He wanted to shed tears, but would not. He struggled a moment to master his feelings, and then said, " Anything you would give me to make me more comfort able would only make me more uncomfortable. I don t want you to care for me, Sir; I don t care for you." " Joel, would 3 r ou deprive me of all I have on earth to care for?" " You can care for your money," said the boy. " That has always been more to you than anything else, and I can prove it." 1 82 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " But now I have it, I don t want it. I have no use for it. I am no longer young, and I must serve long years in prison. I shall likely die there, and would like to do what I can to repair the wrong I have done to you." "I thought you were going to build a church, and redeem your soul." The man smiled a little smile. "Yes, I am going to build a church. Do you think I have only enough to build a church ?" " I don t care how much you have; I will never touch one dollar of it. If I ever have money, it must come honestly." " Do you think all the money I have came dishonestly?" "I don t know. Your life has been a dishonest one," said Joel, openly. " Will you take my name, or do you prefer to keep the one of Junk ?" "Junk!" and the boy snapped out the word "Junk" before the man had finished the question. " Junk is a very common sounding name; not nearly so good as mine. Still, if you wish to retain it, I shall not object." " What name did you expect I should have when you sent me away ?" "I did not think much about it. I only thought, when you came to your vast inheritance, you would be willing to have your father s name ?" " I haven t any father or any inheritance either. If I ever earn a name, all the honor shall be given to the name of Junk." The man s face twitched with angry emotion. "Yes, the Junks were always a very proper sort of peo ple, and claim to descend from Oliver Cromwell," said the man, with a sneer. Joel was so irritated he wished that he had the strength of a Samson, and that the man did not claim any of his blood; he would shake him as a cat does a mouse. It was ALL THE HONOR TO JUNK. 183 the first time in Joel s life when lie felt that he should really enjoy giving a person a first-class thrashing. There was something about this man so diabolically fascinating. His charming manners seemed to set off to good advantage his dishonest course of life. Such was this man s power over those he came in contact with, that he would almost make them think that a thief is not such a bad man after all. He was a man who could make a certain class feel, ""Well, if this man is a freebooter, I would not mind being one my self." But his elegant form and dash of address had no such effect upon Joel. Instinctively, Joel hated him. "Joel, I have a package of papers I should like to in trust to your keeping." * Why not give them to mother ? She would be likely to take better care of them than I should." " I shall give them to no one s care but yours." " What is in this package ? " "Nothing but papers, which I do not wish opened until after my death." " Suppose I should die first ? " " You are not likely to die first/ said the man, placing his hand on his heart. " Should you hear of my sudden taking-off, go before a magistrate, and in the presence of witnesses have the package opened. It has something to do with some one else," said the man, evading Joel s allu sions. " Boy, if you and I never meet again in this world (and I don t think we shall be likely to in the next), remem ber one thing: although I wronged you as an infant, I would have righted you as a youth. The time will come, Joel, when you will remember the words I am speaking to you. I would have given you a good part of my fortune, and in some degree repaired the wrong I have done you. I would have given it to you now, to make you comfortable, but you have rejected it. You will wait years before the wheel of fortune will take you round to your place. But, remember me, you will find it." 184 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. All this talk was mysterious to Joel. He could not catch the least thing from which he could draw a conclusion. " The time will come, boy, when you can show the record of your ancestors, and you will have no cause to blush for them. I will not ask you to forgive me; I know you would refuse/ Joel began to feel small. A consciousness was stealing over him that he was not acting altogether right. His out spoken nature gave vent to itself in these words : " Yes, I can forgive you, if you will not ask me to call you father. I have a feeling that it is right to forgive you, but a feeling that will not let me call you father. The more I see you, the more I look into your heart, and the more I feel you are not my father. No man like you could be my father/ The man s eyes flashed fire. " Boy, for cool impudence, you will out-general any one I ever saw. Do you think yourself so greatly my superior ?" "Yes, indeed, I do, Sir, as far as truth and honesty go, but not in smartness." " Ah, yes! a lump of sugar after a bitter pill. So you will forgive me for everything, except being your father ? Ha! ha! ha!" and the man laughed so heartily that he was obliged to place his hand on his heart. Turn about is fair play, and I will forgive you for everything but disowning me as a father. Forgive me, Joel, and we will throw the father out and call it square." Again he held out his hand, which Joel took this time. The man left something in Joel s palm, which the boy dropped as if it burnt him. It fell with a ring upon the cell floor. It was a bright, new piece of gold. Neither one picked it up. Will you keep the package for me ? And if I should send you word to open it before my death, you can do so." Joel thought a moment, and fixing his eyes searchingly upon the man, said: " Can you give me your word that there is nothing in this package which will make me under obligation to you ? " THEY ARE SWORN. 185 "There is no obligation in the matter, except that you take care of the package." " Hold up your right hand," said Joel, in a very judge- like way. The man smiled, but held up his hand. " Is there anything in the package which will make me under obligation ? " "Nothing." Does it prove that you are my father ? " "No!" "Is there anything in it that I shall feel ashamed of? " "No!" " "What I have sworn to is the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God." The man repeated this sentence after Joel. This was Joel s first practice in law. " Now, Joel, you have sworn me, and, bad as you think me, I would not take a false oath. Now, I must swear you." " But I am not afraid to be sworn," said Joel. " Hold up your right hand. Do you swear not to open this package until I send you word to do so, or until after my death?" "I do." " Do you swear to keep this package a secret until then ?" " No! " and Joel dropped his hand. "Why not?" "Because I don t like secrets they get people into trouble. I don t like to have anything about me that I must feel afraid of." " But do you think it best to tell all you know to every one you meet?" "No! I should not do that." " Whom would you talk to about it? " " I might speak to mother about it." " No one else?" " I think not, but I won t promise." "Well, that will do. Now, as we are both sworn," said 1 86 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. the man with a laugh, " we will say good-by." He gave a whistle, the turnkey came and unlocked the door. Joel bowed and said, 1 Good day, Sir." He walked behind the jailer down the corridor, and when out of hearing from the inmate of the cell, the jailer turned to the boy, with a malicious grin, " Quite a lengthy chat with yer dad." CHAPTER XXIV. THE YOUNG PUGILIST. EOKGE was not long in earning the name of the Three-G- dummy. He could not be provoked into a fight. When he complained to his mother, which he did every day, she never doubted he was persecuted. At last Kate became exasperated by these daily whinings, and one day she said: " George, you are a coward. The next time a boy pulls your nose, knock him down if you can. Fly at him with your fists, slap his face, pull his hair, kick him, pull his nose, and give him a good whipping. Make him black and blue for a week; but mind, don t you touch any one until they begin at you, and then give it to them good. Will you do it?" " My teacher says we must not fight." " I don t care what your teacher says. You must fight when you are provoked to it, or you will be imposed upon as long as you live. Do you hear me?" "Yes." " Will you mind me? Don t come to me with any more complaints about the boys pulling your nose. To be sure they will pull your nose if you will allow them to do it." And Kate went about her work, muttering to herself: "I wish to heavens I could get that boy s blood warmed up; he is a perfect snail; he will lie down and let everybody step on him. If I was a boy I would not take such things." Such were George s first lessons in self-defense. Mrs. Glewer did not wait long for the result of her teachings. 1 88 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. The very next afternoon, as George was on his way to school, the bully of the school overtook George, and shouted after him: "Well! Three-G dummy, how s your nose? I guess I will pull it a bit it looks too short." The boy reached out his thumb and forefinger, and just as he was about to give it a pull, George took from his pocket a round cobble-stone, and hit the boy a blow that laid him sprawling. This boy was at least three years older and three years larger than George. Much quicker than it takes to write it, George was kneeling upon his breast, slapping his face, first one side and then the other. He took hold of his nose, and if it did not grow at least an inch, it was no fault of George s. George doubled his fist and struck him between the eyes. Remembering what his mother said about hair, he pulled out a handful, and slap ped his face again and again. Some of the boys were for pulling George off, while others shouted: " No, no! fair play. I m glad he has got licked. Who d a thought it, that the Three-G dummy had so much pluck. I m glad. Bully has been at him long enough." George thought the black and blue spots should come out right away, and would have pummeled until this time, but his nose began to bleed, and blood frightened him. He got up and finished the job by giving Bully two or three good kicks. Now George could not have done this if the boy had not been stunned by the cobble-stone. When he came to himself, after the boys had helped him to his feet, the blood was running from his nose and mouth. He looked around with astonishment. " Well! if that don t beat anything!" " It beat you," said one of the boys, with a laugh. " I ll give it to him yet," said Bully. " You had better let the job out," said another; "you can t tell how far a cat can jump. You ve been picking on him for six months, and he has paid you all up in one day. He has polished you off right handsome." THE FIGHT. 189 " I ll have my father see to him/ said the boy, blubber ing. " I guess you ll have to; you can t do it yourself. If I got such a thundering thrashing from a little boy, I wouldn t go blabbing and tell my folks." Next evening Tom and Kate were startled by a rap at the door which came with such emphasis that there was no doubt but what it meant business. Tom opened the door, and a blear-eyed man asked if Tom Glewer lived there. " I am he, Sir. What do you wish?" "You have a son?" -Yes, Sir." " Well, you will have to pay five hundred dollars dam ages, or he shall be locked up." " Damages for what? " For whipping my son almost to death." Tom opened his mouth. "For whipping your son, Sir? "Why, George is not a fighter. There is a mistake some where. George Gregory Glewer, come here! Have you been whipping this gentleman s son?" " I I whipped a boy to-day," said George, whimpering; " but he has been pulling my nose every day." " Mr. Glewer, I wish you would step over and see what condition my boy is in." " I will; and if he is a smaller boy than mine, George shall be punished. I ll not allow a boy of mine to touch one smaller than himself." Tom took his hat and walked away with the man. He found a boy enough larger than George to have eaten him up. Both eyes were swelled shut, and there was a strong smell of camphor in the room. " There must be some mistake, Sir; my boy could never have done this. Why, your son is twice the size of George." " That is what I thought when I looked at the boy," said the man, feeling a little ashamed that his big boy could be whipped by such a little one. "It is the first time John 1 9O MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE was ever whipped. "Why, heavens and earth! f thought to see a young man grown. If John has been whipped by such a small boy, he deserves it. Yes, I think there is some mistake." Tom went home, thinking some one had given this boy a good trimming down, and, as a joke, had given George the credit of the job a job which Tom looked upon as first- class in all its appointments. Tom resolved to question George. While he had been absent Kate had done so, and found out all the particulars, and before Tom returned had sent the boy to bed. She repeated to Tom every word that George had told her, omitting, however, that she herself had been the instigator of this fight. Not that she wished to deceive Tom, but to give him that full delight she knew he would feel in thinking George had pluck in him after all. "Why, Kate, I would not have believed it. You never saw a fellow so completely bunged up in your life, and he is twice as large as George." " I can t help it," said Kate; " George did the business, and did it alone, too." Tom roared and laughed until he could be heard half a block. "That s capital! That s worth a hundred dollars. I guess George is not so nailk-and- water after all." Then Kate related how this boy had harassed George ever since he had been in school. Then Tom would shout: "Good! good! The best thing out. Eeally, I must go over and look at that chap again; it s a good show; worth a quarter of a dollar of any man s money." Then Tom would laugh again. Several times through the night Kate was awakened by Tom laughing out in his sleep. Next morning, whenever George s back was turned, Tom would look after him with a smile of satisfaction. Tom discovered, or thought he did, latent force of character that he never thought the boy possessed. LATENT FORCE OF CHARACTER. "Kate, don t George need a new Sunday suit?" " Yes; the one lie has is getting rather shabby." "Look after his books, Kate, and if he is in want of any thing let me know. I intend now, that George shall go to college. Wait, George, I am going down to the shop, and I will walk as far as school with you." It was the first time Tom had ever done such a thing, but he felt inflated over that boy. As they were walking along they passed some of the boys. If Tom had any doubts be fore in regard to George s achievement they were all dis pelled in this short walk. "That s his father," whispered one boy; "he don t look like he d let any one pull his nose." "My eyes! didn t the Three-G dummy give it to him, though. Bully won t tackle him again. He went at it like he d fit a hundred years. He s a strong un, if he is little." Such were the expressions Tom heard in this walk. If any one wished to purchase anything in the hardware line, that day would have been a good day, for Tom would have sold any of his wares twenty per cent, cheaper, so pleased was he with his adopted son s first fight. CHAPTER XXV. THE INVITATION THE LOCKET. IT lias been some time since we visited the Blowers. If we have any good feeling or charity about us we must call when our friends are ill. Samuel Blower is ill, and if he don t make Betsy step around, no one ever did step. He has every cup and every spoon in the house in use. Betsy is flying from kitchen to bedroom with bags of hops, red pepper, mustard and other things calculated to warm Sam uel. Madame Junk appeared upon the scene, and pre scribed her ever-powerful remedy of red pepper. In their great haste to do something to relieve the sufferer, there was some pepper scattered on the carpet, which sent Betsy and Jane into such a fit of coughing that they were not likely to catch their breath again. Madame Junk said coughing would do them good. It would set their blood in motion. Samuel was able to walk up and down the room. He had on Betsy s shawl, a dressing-gown, and a pair of heavy woolen blankets. The only part of the man which was visible was his feet and the crown of his head, and you could scarcely believe there was a human soul in that huge roll, save by his moans. There was more danger of Samuel s rheumatism killing Betsy than himself; indeed, it had more direct bearing upon her than him. As we are not a D. D., or an M.D., we will leave him in the hands of Madame Junk, who is something of both. Joel s path was not filled with roses, neither was it full of thorns. He never felt at home with Mr. Spludge, or any SHE LED HIM UP THE STEEPS. 193 one of the family. They were always proper and polite with him; but politeness and propriety become a drug in the market when we feel there is no heart in it. Mr. Spludge did everything possible to advance Joel in his pro fession. Lilian was kind and social when they chanced to be left alone, which was rarely. The only respite Joel had from his humdrum life, was his evening lessons with Miss Busy and Sternna. Here he seemed to breathe freely. Sternna and Carrie were now warm friends. The Senator had written to Miss Busy, and found her protegee to be a most worthy young miss, but of obscure birth. Miss Busy was by degrees unfolding to Joel s mind the beauties of classic literature. She told him that in his pro fession it was necessary he should understand the beauty of figurative rendition. It was only those who were endowed with great talent that sought after hidden meanings. Step by step she led him up the steeps, pointing out and ex plaining this and that author s thought. When another year had come and gone, Joel could have safely taken his seat with the alumni of any college. She made him love Latin and old Greek. She made him oblivious to all things but his high aim for future fame. One morning, as Joel was on his way to the office of D. D. Spludge, Esq., he met Carrie, who held out her hand to him, which Joel was not slow in taking. The young girl informed Joel that her father designed sending her to Belgium, for the purpose of finishing her education. I should like it of all things if you and Sternna could go with me." " Then you do not like to go without us ? " "No," said the girl, frankly. "I love Sternna so much I cannot think of leaving her. I have a plan, and if papa will help me carry it out, I shall be so happy." At the word " happy," Mr. Spludge came up. He touched his hat to Carrie, and looked sharply at Joel. " I don t like that man," said the girl; "do you?" *3 194 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. "I think he is very just, and intends to do right," said Joel. " Yes; papa said so, too, when he told me you were to study with him. But I think he would freeze me to death in a week if I had to live with him." "Well, he does chill me a little, sometimes." "You are coming to my party, ain t you, Joel?" "If I am invited." "Well, you are invited. You are invited now. Papa will be home next week, and I am to have a grand birth day party. I shall have all the pleasant young folks you know; for you are coming, and Sternna, too." " Won t your father object?" " Papa object to you? Don t he know you ?" said Carrie, opening wide her great blue eyes. "Object? Haven t I heard him say, plenty of times, you were a great wonder; and that you had brains, and all that." "I am much obliged for your father s good opinion of me," said Joel, coloring; " and hope I may live to merit it." "Good-by, Joel! I must go % . I wish you would come to school in the daytime. Remember the party; I shall see you then." When Joel arrived at the office he found Mr. Spludge looking very strait-laced. There was a frown upon his brow. Joel selected a book and began reading. Mr. Spludge looked up, and addressed Joel thus: I was not aware that you were acquainted with Senator Smith s daughter. Where have you met her?" "At her father s house," returned Joel quickly. "During his absence, or before his departure?" " I have not been to Senator Smith s house since his de parture; but was there frequently before. I have dined with the Senator and his family several times; and have sat in their box at the Opera. The Senator always treated me the same as he w^ould you," said Joel, not a little proud to give this information. THE MYSTERIOUS JEWEL. 1 95 "Oil! ah! 1mm!" was the only answer of Mr. Spludge; and he forthwith set off into a train of thought which seemed likely to consume the entire forenoon . Mr. Spludge was thinking what under the light of heavens could Senator Smith be thinking about to take the offspring of a noted criminal into his house and heart. True, Mr. Spludge had himself introduced Joel to the best; but then that was a different thing. Joel was his student; and it behooves a Christian gentleman to act in a fair way. It was a mystery how a man of Senator Smith s high social standing could take so much interest in Joel. In short, Mr. Spludge was quite done out of giving Joel a good lecture for presuming to speak to Miss Carrie Smith in the street. His virtuous scruples were set at naught by Joel s open avowal of a previous acquaintance. It was Friday afternoon, and Miss Busy was busy. There was a dressmaker in her private room. We have not seen Miss Busy s eyes look so bright for a long time. The two husbands between the eyes (we think we have somewhere in a previous chapter informed the reader that two wrinkles between the eyes denote that a woman will have two hus bands leastwise it is an old sign; with a man, this sign is two wives) had retired, without doubt, in disgust at the feminine finery which strewed her apartments. Madame Junk had gone to her own little room, to bring her rich real lace to finish a frill for Sternna s neck. Again her long arms are plowing their way to the bottom of that huge old chest. She brings up from its depths a small cas ket, opens it, and takes therefrom a small locket and a finely wrought chain. The locket is set with diamonds in the form of a forget-me-not. It contains two pictures; one a man, the other a woman. Madame Junk holds the jewel up until the light strikes upon it. The diamonds glitter like so many bright eyes. "Shall I let her wear this to-night?" was the question Madame Junk asked herself. " Yes, I will; it may lead to 196 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. something. Poor child! may God protect her;" and a great tear fell upon the lace Madame Junk was folding in a piece of paper. She relocked the chest, and hastened back to Miss Busy s. Madame Junk laid the lace in Miss Busy s hand, and that lad} r pronounced it to be as fine as fine could be; and would never have doubted, had she been so informed, that the lace was handed down from Oliver Cromwell. Madame Junk kept the locket in her bosom, all the while looking sorrowful. She watched Sternna as she moved about the room, and seemed undecided how to act. After lunch, and Madame Junk had been refreshed by a cup of Miss Busy s fragrant Bohea, she took out the box, and held up the locket. " Sternna, would you like to wear this?" The girl took the jewel, and looked it over. " It is not mine, and everybody would know it was not." " It is yours, my child." "Mine ! Who gave it to you for me ? " "No one gave it to me for you. It was among your clothing when I took ycu. There are two pictures in it; look at them." The girl touched the spring, and the locket flew open. She bent her head so low, that Madame Junk and Miss Busy could not read the expression on her face. In one moment, the girl was kneeling at Madame Junk s feet, clasping her hand within her own, and, between great sobs, she cried: "Mother, dear, good mother, only tell me this is my real father and mother. Oh, do! I know it is my father and mother. Tell me where they are. I cannot live on charity longer." "Be quiet, my child; your mother is in heaven." " Where is my father? " " Be quiet, child, be quiet." Madame Junk was totally unprepared for this outburst. Sternna had always been so quiet, and never before evinced any curiosity to know of her parentage. Madame Junk THUS MUCH I KNOW: SHE IS ENGLISH. 1 97 stooped down and kissed the girl on either cheek. " Trust in God, Sternna, and all will be well/ Great sobs shook the girl; she could not speak. Miss Busy put her arms about her. " Sternna, you have hurt me to-day." " Hurt you, Miss Busy! How could I hurt you? " "You said you lived on charity; how could you say such a bad thing? "What should I do without you? You are far more necessary to me than I am to you; you make me feel so sad," and the two husbands stood forth and rebuked the girl. "Whatever you say, do not say that again." "Is my father dead, too? " "I cannot say/ replied Madame Junk; "we will trust God." By this time Miss Busy s curiosity was somewhat excited. She took the locket from Sternna s hand, and in company with the two husbands gave the pictures a long look. "As I thought, English. The lady is the real English type of beauty, and the gentleman, what nobility there is in this face ! I always thought that Sternna was English. We haven t any such children in America." "Yes, thus much I know : Sternna is of English parent age," said Madame Junk. "I knew it! I knew it all the time." The two husbands retired, and Miss Busy kissed Sternna, and seemed so delighted that it was now settled that the girl was English. "Trust me, Sternna; I have the key and will find out the rest of it," said Miss Busy; and Madame Junk reiterated, "Trust God, Sternna; He has the key and will find out the rest of it." CHAPTER XXYI. THE PARTY A DISCUSSION OVER ART. SOME hour before it was time for Carrie s friends to arrive, she stood beside her father as radiant as a morning-glory. " Papa, I don t want you to be .cross with me." " Cross with you, my child! If I felt so, I would put it off until to-morrow. I would not be cross with you on your birthday." "You know you said, papa, it was time I began to use my own judgment, and told me to invite who I thought was good. I ve invited Joel." The Senator laughed and kissed her cheek. " Of course I should have been cross had you not done so." "And Sternna." " Well, did you ever hear of any one giving a party without inviting their best friend ?" " But, papa, you know what folks say about her? "Nothing bad, I hope, my daughter." " They say she has no father and mother. That she is an obscure charity child, and they wonder you allow me to associate with her so intimately." "Do they?" "But, papa, I don t care what they say." And Carrie stepped back a step or so from her father s side. Her blue eyes seemed to emit sparks of fire. " Sternna is glorious; she is beautiful; she is wonderful. Oh, how I wish she were my sister! How proud I should be of her! Whoever her father and mother may be, they must be grand people." A BARGAIN. 199 The Senator had never seen his daughter look so hand some; he never heard her speak with so much pathos in her tones, and he never felt so pleased with her. Carrie came near and placed her arms about her father s neck. " Papa, will you do me a favor?" " Yes; if it is anything I can do that is reasonable." " I want you to pay Sternna particular attention to-night. I want you to dance with her and be a real nice beau for her all the evening." The Senator burst into a hearty laugh. " Why, child, I did not think of dancing. I thought an old chap like my self would be rather in the way among young people." " No, papa; you make yourself so agreeable, we shall be delighted to have you join us." And she gave him four or five kisses on the forehead. " If you will only take Sternna under your wing, I will "You will what?" " I will try to please you all my life/ "It s a bargain. But don t you think some of the young gentlemen will be jealous?" " Sternna don t know any young men; she is a stranger, and very sensitive." " Well, my dear, I will endeavor to make your friend feel at home, and happy. I had partly made an engagement with a gentleman. If you have no objections, I presume I can prevail upon him to join us." "Would it not be ungenerous in me to object to your friends when you are so kind to mine? So, papa, if your friend will honor us with his company, I too will try to make him happy." "He is not very jolly, but he is elegant; has traveled much, and is a great scholar. You have heard of Mr. Stanly?" "Oh! Mr. Stanly; won t that be nice?" " Well, I will see. Your friends will soon be here, and if your old father is to play the role of a gay young cavalier, he must touch himself up a bin" 20O MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " You are not old, papa, but fix up kind of bright/ and Carrie began arranging some Tines that trailed about a marble statue. As the Senator passed out of the room, the young people began to gather, and soon the spacious apartments of Sen ator Smith s mansion were filled with a throng of young and happy people. Carrie flitted hither and thither, intro ducing games and proposing various amusements for the pleasure of her party. Once she was summoned from the room to her father s library, where he stood, as he said, ready to be led forth like a lamb to the slaughter. I have essayed to play the part of a young beau, and I don t propose to be cut out. Now mind you, Miss Carrie, if any of these young gentlemen attempt it, I shall not answer the consequences it might end in a duel." " There is no danger, papa, no one will try; you are al together too fascinating." " There, Puss, that will do; I was not fishing for such a compliment." The Senator knew something of society, and had mingled with the best; but somehow, to-night, he felt awkward. Mayhap the reader, if ever placed in a like situation, may comprehend his feelings. To be the only man amidst a lot of young ones, to come down from a dignified poise and slide in upon a level altogether strange, is not so easy. To stand as a tall tree amidst a gardenful of flowers without shutting out the sunlight to some extent, would be a diffi cult task. An old man must be genial, indeed, who ven tures upon such ground. The Senator was by nature a gentleman; he felt and saw all this; he resolved to throw off all profound thought and be a boy again, at least in feel ings. He entered the room and moved among these young people as one of them; he bade the music strike up something lively; he began to find out who danced, and set about forming a quadrille. " Where is your friend, Carrie? I am to dance the first set with her." THE OLD BEAU. 2OI " Here she is, papa/ and Carrie led the way to a remote corner where Sternna sat looking over a collection of Kaul- bach s historical pictures. She was so much engaged she did not see Carrie and her father come up. " Sternna, this is my dear papa; I want you to dance with him." Sternna arose. The Senator held out his hand. 11 1 am happy to see you, Sternna; Carrie has talked so much about you I feel acquainted with you. Will you dance with me ?" " I know very little about dancing, but will do the best I can;" and with a grace that was never plebeian (as Miss Busy would say), she placed her small hand on the arm of the Senator, and moved down the saloon to take her place amid the dancers. The children of our F. F. M. (which means, First Families of Money), whispered, "There goes the Senator with that charity girl." Sternna made a few mistakes, but every move was so graceful that they were not noticed. As the Senator was leading her to a seat she remarked : " I fear Carrie, in her kindness to me, has imposed a great task upon you." " Not at all. Carrie has pleased me." There was nothing of the servile in this girl s tone. Nothing of, Thou art better than I; how honored I am; nothing that bespoke she had such a thought, and yet there was nothing bold. There was simple grace ; an easy manner. There was equality of bearing, without a knowledge of it. "Carrie is right," thought the Senator; "what a superb woman this child will make with any kind of circumstances. She will make circumstances dance attendance to her. To the devil with social caste! All jewels are not set in social caste." Such were the Senator s thoughts as he watched his daughter and Sternna conversing. The Senator had never been to Europe. He knew little of historic character- faces as painted by the old masters; and yet this man had a 2O2 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. love for art without a particle of knowledge of it; a rever ence for heroic pictures without the history of them. When he looked at Sternna he had this same feeling. A man versed in classic literature and art would have known w r ith what to compare Sternna. But early education had left him deficient in those things. " Ah! come at last. You are late, Joel; and to pay you for your tardiness you must do double duty. Don t wait another minute; you must dance six successive sets. Here, Carrie, make this young gentleman trip the light fantastic toe. What lad is that over there ?" " That is Georgie Glewer, papa." " "Well, Georgie must join the dancers," and the Senator walked over and shook George by the hand as if he had known him a hundred years. He led George over to Lilian Spludge. " Come, my dear, I want you to dance with this young gentleman; right this way, in our set," and the Sen ator led out one of the Miss Sampsons. He skipped over the floor like a boy of fifteen. He made himself so agree able that the children did not realize he was not of their age. Before the next set was formed the Senator was sum moned f ro u the room. Mr. Stanly was in the study. The Senator had no difficulty in prevailing upon him to join the young party. As that gentleman affirmed, he liked to look on young and happy faces. Mr. Stanly was first presented to Carrie, who chatted a time with him. She asked him if he would not dance, but Mr. Stanly declined to dance. "What young lady is that opposite?" " That is my very best friend," said Carrie, with a glow of pride. You should see the pictures she paints; every one thinks she is a real artist. Oh, Mr. Stanly, she is won derful. I love Sternna very much. I want papa to love her, too." "And why papa more than any one else?" said Mr. Stanly, in a playful way. THAT IS A SECRET. 203 "Ah, that s a secret, Mr. Stanly. I have a plan in my head that I haven t told to any one yet." "Suppose you tell me, I can keep a secret, and then I may be able to help you; that is, if it is something good, and I have no doubt it is." Carrie turned her head, and gave Mr. Stanly a square look in the face. She saw nothing but kind benevolence there. True, his face wore a touch of sorrow, but through the sorrow there was something which seemed to imply "Make the best of all things." "Well, have you made up your mind to trust me?" "Yes, I am going to trust you, and I know you are too much of a gentleman to laugh at me, even if you do not think my plan a good one." Mr. Stanly assumed an attitude of attention. "You see," began Carrie, "that my friend is called a charity pupil in the school where I attend; but Miss Busy don t call her one. You know how bad and envious people are sometimes." Mr. Stanly was looking out from under his brows straight across the room at Sternna. If his interest in Carrie s plan was only pretended before, it was real now. "What is her other name, my child ?" Carrie stammered and colored, and at last ventured to say she did not know. "Every one calls her Sternna, and she has no other name." "No other name?" said Mr. Stanly. " No, Sir; Madame Junk took her when she was an infant. But Sternna won t be called by the name of Junk; she says it is not her name, and she will not be called by a name which is not her own." " But what is your plan for your young friend ? " "Well, it is this: Papa intends to send me to Europe, and I want him to send Sternna with me. I want her to study to be a great artist. I have been inquiring around, and I have found out she must go there before she can be 204 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. all I want her to be, and all I know she can be. Won t you speak a good word to papa for me? Papa is good, and if he thinks Sternna is good and honest, and has brains" (the Senator s hobby was brains as much as Madame Junk s was not being born right), " I know he will help her. Papa has not those notions about poor folks that some people have." Mr. Stanly seemed much moved. He looked at Carrie with astonishment. "You are a good girl, and a blessing to your father. Did I not tell you I might prove to be of ser vice to you? Now, I am not only going to speak to your papa, but I am going to see what I can do myself." " Oh, thank you! thank you!" She caught hold of his hand, and would have kissed it for all we know, had he not said: " There, there, child; our secret will be no longer a secret if you are not careful." " Let me introduce you to Sternna." " Wait a moment; she will think we have been talking about her. Dance first; go about the room; I will amuse myself by looking on." From that moment a deep and sincere friendship existed between Carrie and Mr. Stanly. Carrie was so happy the balance of the evening, that more than once she had half a mind to tell Joel what a glorious man this Mr. Stanly was. She was so eager to present him to Sternna, she was back in a very short time. "Mr. Stanly, won t you promenade with me?" Carrie laid her arm in his, and walked about the saloon, telling whose daughter this was and whose son that was, introduc ing him here and there to a bevy of young ladies. Indi rectly she approached Sternna. " Sternna, this is Mr. Stanly, a particular friend of papa s and mine." Sternna arose and bowed with a grace that would have done honor to royalty. "Take a seat, Mr. Stanly," said Carrie, in her off-hand MR. STANLY AND STERNNA. 2 05 way, and she motioned him to a seat beside Sternna. "Mr. Stanly don t dance, Sternna, and will be pleased to talk with you about pictures. He has traveled all over Europe, and can tell you the history of everything." " Ah, Miss Carrie! you overestimate my knowledge." " Not a bit of it. I know all about you; papa has told me." Carrie brought two albums filled with engravings from Genelli. Mr. Stanly opened one and began explaining to Sternna how the great artist had studied mythology. He explained in detail what the artist intended to represent by the differ ent figures. When he came to a historical one he grew in teresting. Mr. Stanly opened out a new world to this young girl s mind. He painted so vividly the lives of these toilers of the sublime, that tears were falling from Sternna s eyes. " Why, child, I fear I have drawn too strongly upon your imagination." "No! no! I am so happy I am not grieved. Tell me more." And her hands were folded in reverential awe, her lips half parted; she was drinking in her first draught of artistic delineation from the world of art and its old masters. Mr. Stanly had talked an hour. He found his listener in a quiet, dreamy, thoughtful mood. " Miss Carrie tells me you paint." " Yes; but I shall give it up now." "Why?" " For the want of knowledge. You have shown me how poor I am. What am I? I can never be an artist such as you have told me of." " The artists I have spoken to you of thought of them selves as you think of yourself, in their early efforts. I must see some of your work before I allow you to judge yourself so harshly." 2O6 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " And when you have seen them will you be frank enough to tell me just what you do think? I am w r eary of hearing people say: Oh, that is beautiful! when I know it is no such thing. My pictures might look better if I could paint just what I feel; but I cannot do that, and I have no one to teach me." " My child, no one can teach you feeling, and none but God can define them. You may be instructed how to best depict your feelings upon canvas. If you place your written thoughts upon paper, those thoughts may be cor rected and made to appear in proper shape. Thought of itself is spontaneous, and where there is real talent it is original. All talent is born of original thought. A thing is great just in proportion to the amount of spirit there is in it. The world might go on forever copying from a few great masters, both in literature and art, but they would not enrich themselves or benefit the world. This is an age when the supply of knowledge does not fill the demand." Mr. Stanly had touched the right chord in Sternna s artist soul. How she grew in that one hour! A respon sive awakening atuned anew the beautiful and harmonious symphony of a grand nature that had only waited an aus picious moment to be adjusted. Our reader has seen how adverse our little charity waif is to appropriating anything which was not her own. The same feeling applied itself to her art. "Mr. Stanly, do you call that our own, when we take the word-pictures of a poet and render them in colors on canvas ? " " There, my little friend, is a question which will admit of a much longer conversation than we have time to enter upon to-night. I will give you a few brief hints about that, and at some future time we will, if you wish, discuss this at length. I regret to say, that too frequently such pictures are a parody on the poet s spirit." " Cannot the poet be guilty of the same offense?" THE NEED OF REFRESHMENTS. 2O/ Mr. Stanly smiled at the girl s defense. " Yes, he can, and is; but the chances are in favor of the poet. He does not so frequently offend, and his pictures are not so grotesque." "Because they are not so difficult," said Sternna. "In part you are correct. The arts may clasp hands in harmonious fellowship, provided they belong to the same class." "Mr. Stanly, does not every artist, and every poet, have a subject? and if the subject is not their own, where does originality begin ? The writers of history must first have their facts; they do not create them, or it would not be his tory. It seems to me the only real originality belongs to God." " Well, my little friend, you are going much farther than I bargained for. When we speak of original things, we refer to thought conceived, and that thought made to act. A good general conceives his own plans and executes them." " But he draws his plans from other men s experience," said Sternna, just as Senator Smith, with Carrie and Joel, came up. The Senator had been watching this spirited conversation at a distance. "Beally, Mr. Stanly, Miss Sternna and yourself must feel the need of refreshments?" "Not I; I have been refreshed." " Will you not accompany us to the supper-room?" " I beg you will excuse me. I have not, for years, taken anything at this hour." "If I must excuse you, you will lose your pleasant com pany." The Senator offered his arm to Sternna, who arose, ac cepted it, lingered a moment, and then said: " Shall I see you again this evening, Mr. Stanly?" " No, I think not." The Senator waited a moment for Mr. Stanly to add something more to this abrupt answer. 2O8 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " But I should like to see you again/ 5 said the girl, in pleading tones. She held out her hand. "Good night, Mr. Stanly. I thank you so much for all you. have told me. I should be glad to hear more. I. feel it will be a benefit to me. If I never see you again, I can never forget this time." " You will see me again, child, you will see me. I must see your work. But look here; do not talk about stopping now. Good night." This time, he extended his hand, and shook that of the girl s warmly. As Sternna moved down the saloon, leaning on the arm of her host, Mr. Stanly looked after them. "Hum! a marvel not American, I will venture to say." Mr. Stanly, in his heart of hearts, said: " God bless these true republican souls, that have dared to lift this bright jewel from its bed of ashes! " It would take a newspaper Jenkins to write up this party as it should be written. The most we can do is to say the Senator played the part of a gallant to the entire satisfaction of his daughter. He did his utmost to make each young guest feel at home and happy. "How did you enjoy the party? " said Tom Glewer to his son George. "Didn t Carrie treat you well?" "Yes, she danced with me, and made the rest of the girls." "Didn t the Senator notice you?" "Yes, he did, and shook hands with me, and asked after you." "Well, you are a stupid fellow. Why under the heavens didn t you enjoy yourself, then? " "Sternna didn t notice me." "What do you care for that? She is as poor as a church mouse a charity scholar, and nobody, any way." "Tom!" and Kate stood before him. Her great brown eyes had grown wonderfully black in a moment. "Is that the principle you teach George ? I despise it. It is beneath a man to speak in the manner you have spoken of Sternna. You know the old adage, A man should not sit in a glass house and throw stones. " A GLASS HOUSE. 2CX) "Who lives in a glass house?" said Tom, somewhat dis comfited. "You do" said the wife; " and some one may take it upon themselves to demolish it. I should feel ashamed if you were to make siich remarks outside your own door. And George, never repeat what you have heard your papa say. Sternna is a good girl, and George has shown his good taste in liking her company." Tom squirmed under these biting words. What did Kate mean? Had she ever heard anything? It seemed so to him, she looked so scornful. "The devil!" thought Tom; "if a woman ever gets hold of an unjust thing a man has ever done, no matter how many years it was before she married him, she always uses it as a lever to press him under her thumb." Well, Tom, it may be so in nine cases out of ten, but your wife is an exception. Several years have passed, and this is the first time this formidable weapon has shown its sharp point, and never will again, except in defense of in nocence. So take care upon what ground you intrude your coarse nature. The breakfast-hour passed in silence, and we might almost say pouts. Madame Junk was up next morning with the birds. She had not slept hardly a wink all night. She had been think ing about her children : she called them hers yet. In her mind, she had married Joel to the Senator s daughter the first time he saw her, and for Sternna, she had marked out the most brilliant career that it was possible for any human being to have. She saw the two settled in life, with wealth and pomp. She saw large families of well-born girls and boys grow up around them, and, if the truth was known, she had those girls and boys married too. Madame Junk thought she would divide the time between the two houses, and dispense their large means among the poor. Yes, in deed ! her vivid imagination had arranged everything in fine order. 2IO MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " How did you enjoy the party, Sternna?" said Madame Junk, the day after. "More than all my life together/ replied Sternna. " I told you BO," said Madame Junk. "Why, Sternna/ 5 exclaimed Miss Busy, "you should have said more than on any other occasion in all your life." " Tell us about it;" and Madame Junk s eyes brightened as if she were living her old party days over again. Then Sternna related her conversation with Mr. Stanly. * Is he English?" said Miss Busy, and one husband re tired and left the other standing perpendicularly between her eyes. " I should think he was. He has traveled much." " "When will he call ?" asked Miss Busy, as her face settled into a placid expression of ladylike sweetness just such an expression as it will wear the day Mr. Stanly calls. Madame Junk was thanking God silently, and when she spoke it was as follows : " You see, Miss Busy, the gentleman has doubtless lived in America long enough to have become cosmopolitan, and republican enough to acknowledge worth irrespective of wealth." " Doubtless," returned Miss Busy; " but knowledge does that in any country." Madame Junk did not reply, but she did not believe it. CHAPTER XXYII. THE YOUNG PROT&G&E. OOD morning, papa," said Carrie Smith, as she entered the breakfast-room, the next morning after the party. She walked up and kissed him on either cheek. " Two kisses this morning; one for me." "Well, who is the other for?" "That s for me too; but that is for services." "Ha! ha! you are a good pay-mistress. But I think I shall have to set a higher price on my labors." "Well, I suppose if I cannot have your services without paying more, I shall have to give more. When a man does his work well, we should never object to giving a little some thing extra; so here is something extra; " and she gave him a kiss on the forehead. When a sensitive nature wishes to learn something over which it is deeply interested, they dread to ask, even when they have every reason to suppose the answer will be favor able to their wishes. Now the Senator sat waiting for his daughter to ask him how he liked her friend; but she seemed to be walking around and around the dish, before lifting the cover. "Papa, what an elegant gentleman Mr. Stanly is. He is so interesting; knows so much of books and pictures." "Ah! yes," said the Senator; and his good-humored face was touched by a shadow, and a ghost of a sigh es caped his lips. "Yes, he has had every facility for attain ing knowledge. Carrie, are you pleased with the idea of going to Europe to finish your education ? I want to start in six weeks. Can you and mamma be ready by that time ? " 212 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. "I think so," said Carrie, thoughtfully. "But you don t seem to be very much awake about it. What is the matter?" " I should be delighted if " < If what?" " If Sternna could go with us," said Carrie, getting it crat at last. Both were silent a moment. " So you would like Sternna to go with us ? " "Papa!" and Carrie gave one bound and stood beside him. Pier face was bent within a few inches of his. She was looking into his eyes; she seemed to choke; she could not utter one word, and great tears were falling on the Sen ator s hands. " Papa, it would make me so happy." "There, there, child; if it would make you so happy, what are you crying about it for?" "Don t people cry for joy sometimes? I am crying, papa, because you are so good." " "Well, we will see about it; but what will mamma say ? " " Mamma will say anything you say." " We will see about it" was as good as yes. Came had been brought up on the words " see about it," and its defi nition had always turned out to be " yes." 1 Maybe you would like to take Joel along, too?" said the Senator, with a laugh. " No," said the girl. " Joel is almost a man and can take care of himself, and if he cannot you will see about it," said Carrie, laughing in turn. "But, Carrie, it seems to me this girl s nature is too haughty to sit under your little wing." " Oh, dear, no, papa! you don t understand. Do you think I should dare to take that position toward Sternna ? I want her by my side, not under my wing. Don t you see, dear papa, that she is more than my equal ? Don t you see how grand, and great, and glorious she is? Don t you see it, don t you feel what she is ?" AN ENGLISH LADY. 213 " My child, your love for her must be very deep. I must see about this, or she will rob me of your love." " Papa, she would make me love you more. If you could hear her talk ! How she longs for a father ! how she would love one! Oh, papa! Sternna would worship a father like you; one she could look up to, as I do to you; one that is as kind and good as you are. How blest she thinks I am, and how happy she thinks I should be. Her heart yearns for home, and friends, and a father s and mother s love." Just at that moment the Senator s nose called for a wipe. His eyes were all right; it was only his nose that was weeping. At this point a servant brought up Mr. Stanly s card. " Show the gentleman up; I am always at home to him." Carrie shook hands warmly with Mr. Stanly; rolled an easy-chair beside her father, and bade Mr. Stanly sit right down there, beside papa. She did not deem it best to remain. "Going so soon, Miss Carrie? I promised myself a pleasant chat with you." "You will have that with papa. The oldest must be served first, you know. I will come in for my share after a while." " Well, on those conditions I release you." " Well, Senator" and Mr. Stanly laid his hand on the knee of the Senator " I want to talk to you about a matter in which I have become lately interested. What do you know about this child Sternna ?" " Very little. She is a nameless orphan that Madame Junk took care of in infancy; and later, she has been the protegee of Miss Sally Busy, an English lady of culture. Stanly, what does she remind you of ?" " I have seen much she reminds me of. The poise of her head and the cast of her face are royal. She is the image of a Scottish earl I once knew. What Or model she would make for a sculptor as Melpomene !" 214 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " Carrie is very much in love with her/ "Yes, I have discovered that; and your daughter has shown superior judgment in the choosing of an intimate friend. I want to do something for this child, and I wish you would advise me how to proceed/ " "Well, Mr. Stanly, I had resolved before you came in that she should go to Europe with Carrie." " She is over-sensitive," said Mr. Stanly, " and we must proceed with caution. Has she a guardian?" " I think not; that is, none appointed by law/ " I would adopt this girl," said Mr. Stanly, " and let her go to Europe with you, and study under the best masters there." " Yes; Miss Busy tells me the girl has great talent as an artist." "I want to call on her and see her work," said Mr. Stanly. " We will let Carrie arrange that. I believe the child s heart would break if she is disappointed about having this young girl go to Europe with her," and the Senator wiped his nose again. "Whenever he was moved, that organ seemed to require especial attention. " I suppose the proper person to consult with over this matter would be Madame Junk, would it not?" "Yes; and Miss Busy also. I know of no one else who has any claim; and I have no doubt that both these ladies have too much sense to interfere in a thing which is for the child s good." " How soon do you leave?" " I was intending to start in six weeks." " That is little time enough to arrange matters," said Mr. Stanly. " We American people do not stand for fixing long. We like enough think of it over night, and start to go around the world next day." " Yes," replied Mr. Stanly, " that is characteristic of the MISS BUSY S USEFULNESS. 215 American people. What sort of a person is this Miss Busy?" " She is a cultivated English lady, of doubtful age." " I am to understand that she is a maiden lady?" " Correct; but she is a woman of vast research, and there are few, if any, men in the State as well educated. She is a competent teacher, as her pupils will attest." " It seems this lady s field has been one of usefulness," said Mr. Stanly. " Ah, yes; it is the order of labor we require." "When shall we wait upon this lady and her wonderful protegee?" The Senator rang, and a servant put his head in at the door. " Tell Miss Carrie I would like to see her." Carrie was only too glad to answer the summons. She felt the arrangements were almost completed. " When is Miss Busy and Sternna most at leisure?" " After three o clock. Will you call, Mr. Stanly ?" " I am thinking of doing so. I promised your friend I would call." " Papa, do go with Mr. Stanly and see Sternna." So it was arranged that the three should go the next afternoon. CHAPTEK XXVIII. THE COMING THUNDERCLAP. GLEWER was getting rich, so community said. JL He had built a new house; he had surrounded his wife and son with such comforts as his uncultivated taste suggested. But Kate was alone, ever communing with her own thoughts. To argue questions pro and con with one self is rather wearing on nerves. Kate Glewer was a lover of the beautiful; she was a lover of the just, the right and all things holy. Must she die with all the music in her soul? Catharine Glewer had built herself a private chapel, that is, she had appropriated a small room exclusively for her own use. It is doubtful if Tom knew anything about it; his interest did not go beyond the dining-room, kitchen and sleeping-room. His business kept him from home a good part of the time. On the altar of this chapel were laid books; we cannot mention each separately; they were the minds of mighty men, and, bowing before their shrine, was the wife of a shopkeeper who dealt in hardware. One day, as Kate sat conning over Macaulay s History of England, she glanced from the window of her chapel and saw a woman coming up the walk. This woman was tall, with a large, full, bloated face; she wore a faded red shawl, that looked as if it might have served for a bed-blanket; a white silk bonnet with pink roses; a blue dress very much soiled, and a pair of boots laced up with white cotton cord. We are not going to give a full inventory of this woman s garments, but she presented a general bold and untidy THERE IS NOTHING TO BE TART ABOUT. 217 appearance. There is not a human being without some redeeming features, and this woman had hers. Her hands were white, her fingers long and tapering: a beautiful hand that any lady might be proud of. "Who can that be? " thought Kate. " She don t walk like a beggar." The woman rang the bell, and Kate answered the door. "Does Tom Glewer live here?" "He does." "Are you his wife?" "lam." "When will he be in?" "At six o clock. If you wish to leave any word, I will deliver it." The woman looked at Kate from head to foot. Her bleared eyes rested a moment on Kate s face, and her lips curled, as she answered: "I can deliver my own words," and she turned to go. Turning about again, she said: "See here; suppose you don t tell him a Avoman called to-day. I want to be a thunderclap. Do you promise? " "No," said Kate; "why should I make such a promise to you?" "Well, there is nothing to be so tart about; you would only have to keep your promise a few hours. But, if you don t feel like it, do as you please." This time the woman walked away with stately mien. Kate closed the door, and went back to her little chapel. Should she tell Tom about the woman, or should she not? Who could she be, and what did she want? All these thoughts that would be likely to pass through any woman s head passed through Kate s. No, she would not tell Tom. Had she done so, the woman would have missed seeing him. Kate thought this woman an obnoxious weed, and that it was best to pull her up root and branch, and have it done with. So Kate busied herself about her house, prepared a nice tea, and awaited the woman s thunderclap, which was 2l8 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. soon to light in their midst. Kate would send George out this evening. She would run no risk of his being hurt by said thunderclap. After tea, George was sent to spend the evening with Miss Busy and Sternna. The woman appeared on time. Kate did not wait for Tom to answer the ring; she opened the door. " My husband is in now; step this way/ and Kate con ducted the way to the drawing-room. * Tom Glewer, how d ye do ? Maybe you don t know me; it has been quite a number of years since we met." " No, madame, I must say I do not." " Ha! ha! ha! Oh dear me! but that s a good joke; don t know an old sweetheart! Well, I don t much wonder; I have changed. Where s the boy? Tom Glewer, that boy should have bound us together for time and eternity and I guess he does." With these words she gave Kate an in sulting look. <c If you don t get out of my house this moment, I ll have an officer arrest you." " Ha! ha! ha! another good joke; and if he does, there will be a pair of us. Look ahere, Tom Glewer; have you forgotten that little transaction that I have kept mum about all these years, and let you live with this woman whom the law will free from you in twenty-four hours? Do you know me now?" Kate was watching Tom. He shook like an aspen leaf. In every true and noble woman s heart there is pity for the man she has lived with for years. She sometimes deceives herself with the belief that it is love. Kate arose from her seat. Her large, brown eyes grew black; she seemed to grow in height, for she looked taller. She looked a queen among those two common people; and with a step as stately as one, she walked up to this woman. "This is my husband you are addressing; and I will inform you it matters not what he has done, or what you know of him; it matters not if he has been a thief; it mat- SHE LET HIM ALONE. 2IQ ters not if lie is a bigamist, or what crime he may have com mitted, he is my husband, and I will defend him. I will stand by him and shield him from your threats. If he owes you money he must pay it; if he has wronged you he shall repair that wrong as far as he can do so honorably. Further than that expect nothing, for you will get nothing. I am a formidable obstacle in your way, and cannot be removed." " Ho! ho!" said the woman; " highstrung and plenty of spirit! Where is our boy?" "Who s boy?" " Tom Glewer s and mine," said the woman. " Mr. Glewer s son and mine lives with his parents," re turned Kate. All this time Tom sat as one in a trance. "Yours? HaJ ha! How can he be yours when I gave birth to him? You never had a child, so you stole mine." " My husband s son is mine, and I shall hold him." " Will you? We shall see about that." Woman ! I have protected my husband and myself against any such interference. I am fully armed to protect my son. Now begone, woman! If you are in need of help, I will help you. If you are without a home, I will see* that you have one. I shall allow my husband no private inter view with you; do not seek it, for I shall foil you in every attempt." Kate opened the door, and with an imperious " Begone, woman!" looked her out of the drawing-room through the hall, and out of the street door, without once removing her brown eyes that were as black as night from the face of this woman. Kate walked slowly back to regain her natural composure. When she entered the drawing-room again, you could not have told that anything unusual had happened. Tom sat in the same position the two women had left him in. His lips were white, and his cheeks a shade or so paler. Kate sat down in the same chair, picked up a daily paper, and began reading. She resolved to let Tom quietly 220 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. alone. If he saw fit to make any explanation, she was there to receive it; if not, she should not ask him for one. Tom waited to be asked questions, but no one asked any. He had not arranged any answers in his mind, but he expected the questions. It is thought cowardly to strike a man when he is down, and there are a few women too innately noble to use weapons against a poor defenseless man. Kate Glewer was one of these. After half an hour had gone by, Tom ventured to ask where George was. He was informed that George was spending the evening at Miss Busy s. Kate read a few moments longer, then went about the house, attending to different little things, until George re turned; then she laughed and chatted with the boy, asking him questions about Miss Busy, Madame Junk, Sternna, and others. Then she asked him about his lessons for the next day; had him bring out his school-books, and show her how far along he was. Then it was time to go to bed. She kissed him on both cheeks. The boy walked over to his father, and gave him his good-night kiss. "Good night/ said Tom, hurriedly. How Tom did wish Kate would ask him questions. He wishfed she would get mad and give him a blowing-up; any thing but so much serenity; so much nobility was ruinous to Tom s feelings. Torn wondered how that old dragon came to think that George was her boy or his boy. Kate talked to the woman as if she thought he had been father to a boy, and George was the one. He wondered if Kate thought so, and what she knew about it any way. Tom thought she must be a wonderful woman, to know so much and be so generous. Tom did not sleep much that night; he was afraid Kate was losing her reason. Whoever heard of a wife acting as she had done in this case ? There was something unnatu ral about it; perhaps she meditated suicide. The thought was pardonable. She is sleeping as sweetly as a child. "Why should she not? she has wronged no one; she has tfE WAS "WAY UP" IN GOODNESS. 221 deceived no one; her life has been upright and straight forward. There is nothing in her past life that will not bear the light of day, and her reward is a clear conscience a good thing to sleep on. When Miss Busy received notice that the Senator, *Mr. Stanly and Carrie would pay them a visit, everything in her house was made to wear a holiday appearance, herself not excepted. Sternna gathered fresh flowers for all the vases, and while performing this pleasant task, her mind was on Mr. Stanly. Indeed, he had not been out of her mind since that evening. She wondered what he would say to her paintings. Cogitate, my little busy bird. There are brighter days in store for you. You shall spread your wings and fly away. You shall twinkle as a bright star in the firmament. You shall light up the pages of history yet to come. Meanwhile, what are the thoughts of our benevolent Sen ator? If he is not " way up," as the term goes in classics, he had a heart that was " way up" in delicate, well-timed benevolence. Now the Senator was going to do a hand some thing not to get his name in the papers, or show off; not for any sort of private speculation; but just a tribute due to sensitiveness. He was going to pretend to be so much in love with Sternna s pictures. He would play it so well that even Mr. Stanly and Carrie should not guess he was sham ming. He would buy every one of them at his own price, and that should be a fabulous one. The girl had brains and should go to Europe on her own means. The Senator was not much on religion as it is commonly understood; but he went in for supporting brains. Senator Smith was not doing good because he did not know what to do with his money. It was innate it was a boyhood trait. For you, Senator Smith, shall be erected a monument, and, if we have our way, a statue too. On the monument shall be written a fitting epigram telling the world of your good ness. 222 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. When the Senator reads this we hope he will not think we are anxious to erect said monument. "We hope he may live many long years, and through his money and influence bring several hundred tons of brains into the market. Between the Senator and Joel there was a noiseless friend ship, silent and deep silent, because it was deep. The Senator never paid Joel marked attention, yet Joel knew he loved him, even as a father might love a son. Not one move of Joel s life was unknown to the Senator not one move that did not interest him. Quietly, indirectly, and with the utmost delicacy, did he open avenues for Joel s education. The Senator said the boy had brains, and they must be placed where they could work. In short, he was the grand old pilot who guided Joel s ship clear of the quicksands and rocky shoals that loom up from youth to manhood. Madame Junk, some time since, had left her small room and taken up her residence with Miss Sally Busy. There were a hundred and one things she could do to make her self useful. She took care of the table linen, looked after the dining-room, and selected the joint for dinner. If there was anything Miss Busy was more particular about than another, it was in having a fine joint. No one in the world could do the marketing so cheap as Madame Junk. She affirmed it was a great mistake for a body to put on their best dress to go to market in; for when a butcher saw a lady well dressed he would tuck on the prices. In this way Madame Junk was a desirable appendage to Miss Busy s house. Samuel is a little better; but Betsy is in a fearful condition. She dreams of pins, and, as for the haversack, there is scarce a night it don t walk up to the bed on a terrific pair of long legs, open its capacious jaws, and scream, " Pack up my clothes, you dragon!" and Betsy starts out of her sleep to find it all a dream. The haversack was all very well in the war, and we respect it for past services; but when it is used NO HUE AND CRY FOR HIM. 223 to frighten timid women half to death, we consider it out of place. Madame Junk had many and oft times expostulated with Samuel for using the haversack so often. It had be come a part and parcel of him; and we have no doubt that when he gets to heaven, if the household is not conducted after his express notions, he will shake the haversack in the faces of the angels, and threaten to depart. Miss Busy actually looked two years younger; and what woman past forty does not desire to look two years younger? Mr. Stanly had called more than once, and there is no telling what the result may be. It was settled that Sternna should go to Europe with the Senator s daughter. Senator Smith had divined her nature accurately; hence his flank move ment in purchasing the pictures. Sternna was not so dull that she did not comprehend the situation, and in her heart most truly appreciate it. Madame Junk also comprehended the whole thing. Privately she expressed her opinion to Miss Busy in regard to the Senator s goodness of heart. The Senator always spoke of Sternna as Cinderella; he re membered how she reminded him of Cinderella the first time he saw her, and Cinderella was not to be made dependent. If Miss Busy and Madame Junk exchanged significant looks in regard to the relative worth of Sternna s drawings and paintings, these ladies were told by the Senator they need not set up a hue and cry; he knew something about the worth of such things. Then he would cite numerous instances where twice as much had been paid for pictures not half as good. He should consider himself very small to take ad vantage of a young girl, and all that; he must allow his sense of right to fix terms altogether square. After getting up a great amount of false steam, Sternna walked up to him, and, placing a hand on each shoulder, looked up into his face, and said: " Senator Smith, you are kind; you are very kind. These pictures are not worth all this money." One moment her expressive eyes drooped beneath their lashes. Again she 224 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. raised them; this time with confidence, and the assurance of future success written all over her face. "If you can wait a few years, I will give you something that shall be worthy of your admiration. This is all rubbish. You are trying to please me, and I love you for it. I will take your money, Senator, but shall pay you back with interest. These pic tures are yours; but do me the favor not to look at them again in five years. Place them then beside others I have painted, and see if Sternna keeps her word. My word is all I can give you for your great goodness to me. My promise to study, and do all I can to make myself what you and Came and all my friends wish me to be, is all I can give you now." Her hands slid down from his shoulders, her eyes drooped, and she walked away. The Senator gave his nose a malicious rubbing, as if that member had been guilty of poking in where it had no busi ness, and as if it were entirely to blame for that child s read ing his humane heart. " What is George moping about?" said Tom Glewer to Kate, the day after it was announced that Sternna would go to Europe with the Senator s daughter. " I suppose he feels sad," replied the wife. " What the devil has such a youngster to feel sad about?" " Sternna and Carrie Smith start for Europe next week; they were always so kind to him; they paid him more atten tion than any one else has ever clone." " Heavens and earth! don t the boy have enough to eat, and good clothes to wear, and a better home than half the children in the world ? You speak as if he were a street Arab to whom these young misses had given a meal of victuals." Kate knew how useless it was to explain that there were other things necessary for some people besides something to eat and drink. As we have told you, Tom s heart lay in the pit of his stomach, and you must keep the stomach full in order to touch the heart. THE PARTING. 225 Again Joel is seated in the very room in which he first saw Carrie. They have both changed. Joel has changed his gloves; he wears better-fitting ones now. They are alone, and seem to be very unsociable. Neither of them seems to have anything to say, and yet we mistrust there was much that each would have been glad to say. " Are you pleased to go, Carrie ?" " Yes." (Another pause.) "Would you like me to write to you?" said Carrie. Foolish Carrie ! Where is there a young gentleman in all the world who would not like to have a beautiful young lady write to him? Joel colored; he looked confused; his heart was evidently too full for utterance. There was a long silence. " I do not wish to write to those who do not care for me or my letters; besides, your time will be so much taken up you will not think of me." " Carrie, will you please write to me ?" and Joel arose and stepped before the maiden. "-It will be the most powerful incentive for me to toil for fame; it will cheer me on the road that is doomed to be lonely. Your letters will be to me what you can never dream; they will be my company, and what the world may never know." Carrie arose and held out both hands to Joel. " Why, Joel, you do not speak like yourself." " It is myself, but not all of me." "Joel, I shall write to you often." "What do call of ten?" " Every week." " Certainly, she will write often," said the Senator, step ping in; " and if she don t I shall, and when I get your letters I will not read one word to her, if she is so unworthy as not to write to you. I have never been guilty of leaving a friend out in the cold, and don t think I shall begin now," said the Senator, crossing his hands under his coat-skirts and walking up and down the room. 15 226 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " Joel, you will go on with the study of law at the Uni versity, will you not?" "Most assuredly. I have never thought of taking up anything else." " That is right; stick to it, be determined and resolute, and you can count on me to stand by your side in any emergency. Not that I anticipate you will meet with emer gencies; but if you should, it is sort of comfortable to feel you have a friend who will not fail you in your hour of need." " I wish I could do something to deserve such a friend/ Poh ! poh ! Any one is deserving of friends who does the square thing in a general way." " Senator Smith, I have never expressed my gratitude to you." " There, there, boy; don t get sentimental. I think you have always understood me." "Yes, Sir." "You have always understood how I felt toward you. Did Mr. Spludge understand you, too?" said the Senator, with a droll expression on his face. " I think you are a better judge of that than I am," said Joel, evading the question. "Well, it is hard to find those who suit us in every regard," drawled the Senator, giving his coat-skirts an extra boost, and walking up to Joel. "I think I will say good-by for the present. You will hear from me. Go on as you have begun, and you are all right; but mind, don t get so * nifty you won t allow an old friend to come near you. Do you understand ?" "No, Sir; not clearly." "Well, then, if I should see the necessity of helping you, don t act bad, and say you have not earned it." The Sen ator grasped Joel s hand. "Joel, you have always elevated your nose on that question; and from what I know about you, it began from the time you were born. Now that is DON T GET NIFTY. 22 7 all very well, generally speaking; you may do that as much as you like with outsiders; but you can t come it on me. I m another institution, and, mind you, I will be obeyed. A little while ago you began prating about your gratitude; now I am going to give you a chance to show it. " And he shoved a card into Joel s hand. " I have made arrange ments with that firm for you to draw whatever you need. I can soon tell if you care anything for me or not. If you don t draw anything, I shall know this talk about gratitude is all bosh. Don t go fiddling around, losing your time and strength in trying to earn a stray penny. If you wish to show gratitude to me, place your entire force upon your studies; bend every energy to the one object; attain a pro fession that shall make you world renowned. You have the element within you; and if you will mind me, you shall not only take your place among men, but above them. You ve got brains; and what is a man without brains? You need not look so woe-begone. I expect you will pay every dollar back again. You can do it, Joe, if you try; all you want is determination; and I never thought you were lacking in that. Good-by, Joe. Carrie ! Carrie ! "Where are you? Come here." And Carrie emerged from an alcove in the further end of the room, as her father was wiping his nose, and flourishing a large handkerchief, as if he were in a dreadful state of perspiration. When his back was safely turned toward Joel, he placed his handker chief in his pocket, opened the door quickly, closed it softly, leaving the young people alone. "You will do what papa wishes, will you not?" said Carrie, hesitatingly. Joel s face seemed swollen; he dare not trust himself to speak. "It will make me very happy if you mind papa; he is very good, and all he does is for your good." Still no answer. The girl glided to his side; she touched his hand and softly said : "Joel, don t look so. Has papa wounded you?" 228 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. The boy turned his face and looked down into the eyes of the girl. "I do not know what your papa has done to me. It may be years before I learn the words to tell. I do not know them now; and if I knew every word, in every tongue in all the world, I do not know that I could tell what your father has done to me." " Not bad, Joel; papa could not do bad to you." " "Who said bad?" replied the boy in a vexed tone. "Is not too much good more overpowering than too much bad? I have known both, and cannot say which makes me suffer most. One thing I know: too much good bestowed upon me makes me feel the smallest." "Believe me, and trust papa." "I have not even a name that is my own. I have no friends or home." " Joel, do not say that again, or I shall be angry with you." " If you understand me, you will not. You have friends, and will have more. You have a name, and the world will bow in respectful homage before you, while they will tell me I was a beggar, and of such obscure birth I did not know my own origin." "Who would dare to do that when I am by?" and the girl s eyes brightened. Again Joel turned, and, looking down into those eyes that were flashing his defense, this time he smiled. " Carrie, you will not be ever with me, standing as a guardian angel to protect me with your purity." " Why?" asked the girl, naively. "Because" " Because what ?" " Because your walk and mine will be on separate roads; because you will marry some man in your own circle, and your husband would not be likely to allow you to be forever defending poor Joe Junk." I SHALL FEEL I HAVE LOST MY WAY. 2 29 " I don t care what my husband would or would not do; I shall always stand by you, and be your best friend, except papa. I don t intend to marry at all; but if I should, my husband will learn better than to interfere between you and me." Joel s face relapsed again into its old sad expression. " I don t know what you mean by talking about my circle. Don t you belong to my circle ?" "No." ." Don t you love me? don t you care for me? Are you not papa s friend and mine? I thought one s friends always belonged to the same circle." " Oh, we may befriend a beggar; but he is not our equal." " How do you know he is not our equal ? If he is just as good morally, if he does right, and knows as much, he is our equal, and papa thinks so too. Papa would not care who he was, only so that he had brains. Joel, I have some thing so pleasant to tell you. Sternna is to accompany us to Europe. She will study there, and become a great artist." " I saw Sternna last evening. She talked to me a long time about you and your father; she, too, feels she can never repay so much kindness." " There, you are off again on that subject. I thought to change it. I am the one who is under obligations to Sternna. "We shall both write you such long letters; we shall tell you everything we see and hear," said the girl, playfully. It will be a lonely time for mother and Miss Busy, aftef you are gone." " "Will no one else feel lonely?" asked the girl, in a re proving tone. "Yes, I shall feel something more- than lonely." "What more?" " I shall feel a stranger in my own country. I shall feel I have lost my way; I shall feel like one alone upon a desert without a guide." 230 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " Joel, you will not be alone/ said the girl, soothingly. " My thoughts will be with you. Every night I will kneel down, and ask God to guard, protect, and cheer you. I know God will answer my prayers, and you will be blessed/ Joel arose from the divan, where he had been seated be side Carrie, and moved toward the door without looking around. When he did so, it was with a quick movement of the head. He said, " Good-by, Carrie; good-by, good-by!" and was gone. It was an abrupt leave-taking; but it was the best he could offer under the circumstances. CHAPTER XXIX. GOOD-BY i HAVERSACK SCENE SCUDDING BEFORE THE STORM DIFFERENCES. MADAME JUNK had not taken her thimble off her finger for more than a week. If she did not sleep with it on, she placed it near the head of the bed, so that she could slide it on the first thing in the morning. All was bustle and confusion: all of Sternna s wardrobe must be turned inside out and upside down, and made to wear as respectable an appearance as possible. Miss Busy cut and contrived, for both of these good women declared that Sternna must husband every dollar for her profession. Two gentlemen stood by, and watched the manoeuvring of these good dames, and would gladly have relieved them of their labor and anxiety; but the bread of independence is a sweet morsel, and let those eat of it who have strength and energy to do so. It will be necessary for us to make a little better time, or we shall not get our friends to Europe. So, dear lady friends, pardon us if we do not go into the minute details of preparation. Of course, when the time for departure arrives, we shall not omit the pocket handkerchiefs whose last washing will be in salt water. There was a little knot of people gathered in the waiting- room at the depot. Madame Junk s tall form was the cen tral figure; she was speaking in a low tone to Sternna. The girl s eyes were red from weeping. She was parting from the first friend she ever had, at least she was the first she could remember. Miss Busy was quiet; she had given vent to her feelings before she started. Miss Busy took Sternna 232 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. in her arms, kissed her again and again, told her to be dili gent, and, above all, to write frequently. Madame Junk held her hand over the girl s head, and with closed eyes she silently invoked the blessing of God and the angels upon the girl; she kissed her, quietly pressed her hand, looked into her eyes, and said, " Good-by, dear," but did not ask her to write. The engine is whistling, the conductor is shouting, the passengers are scrambling up the steps, the train is moving, the hands are waving, the train is out of sight, and our two benevolent dames stand alone and echo the words, " They have gone." Arm-in-arm the two walk away; Miss Busy to renew the duties of her school, and Madame Junk as private watchman or general overseer. " So the girls ave gone," said Samuel Blower to his wife Betsy, next morning. "Well, I ope she will do well; she was always a bright little thing. Where did Jane get er?" I have told you a hundred times where Jane got her, and all I know about it." "Well, you need not snap up so; it is a civil question." " I know one thing: Jane is distinguishing herself every day," said Betsy; "she is just as thick as hops with the Senator s family, and everybody notices her and thinks she is a wonderful woman. I might have been the same had I not been such a goose as to marry one totally unfit to min gle with the descendants of Oliver Cromwell." " Holiver Devil!" shouted Samuel, in tones of rage. "You are a goose that played sweet on me till you caught me, and Hi avent card hany thing but Holiver Cromwell hever since. Hi wish to God is ghost would appear and tell you to old your tongue." "Do you think Oliver Cromwell s ghost would come where you are?" " E s called hoften; hit s no use for you to say you could hever be like Jane is, for that is not in the books. To be gin with, you are not so smart; and talk about goodness, AN UNPLEASANT CALL. 233 Jane as more goodness hin the hend of er little finger than you ave hin your ole body." This last thrust capped the climax, and Betsy declared she would not live with a man who would use such lan guage. Samuel flew to the closet after his haversack, up setting chairs and tables in his haste. It ended as usual, by Betsy going to bed with a sick headache and Samuel going down town. Tom Glewer waited in vain for Kate to speak to him about the woman, who was not even hinted at, much less spoken of. Kate redoubled her efforts to advance George. She visited libraries with him, and talked of this author and that. The mental foundation of the boy was not strong enough to build a large structure on; but Kate resolved she would erect an edifice sufficiently large for the boy to live comfortable in when he should have arrived at man s estate. A week had passed and nothing more was heard of the woman. Tom would not ask his wife if this woman had called again, although he wanted to know very much. Tom could not understand his wife s silence. Did she meditate leaving him? Nothing of the sort, Tom; you should know better, after her defense of you. One morning, as Kate sat in her low rocker, looking down the walk, she saw this woman coming up. The woman rang and Kate opened the door. " Good morning!" said Kate. " Good morning!" returned the woman. "What do you want?" " I want to speak with you." " Step in." The woman entered and sat down upon a chair which Kate motioned to. She peered all around the room, leaned forward and looked into a doorway that led into an adjoin ing room. " Where is the boy?" she said, at last. " My son is in school," returned Kate. 234 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " You call him your son, do you?" "I do." " But I gave birth to him." " Maybe," said Kate. " I have no proof of it. Even if you did, the law has given him to me, and I intend to hold my own. True, I did not give birth to this boy. I thank God I did not," said Kate, in a low tone to herself. "Who ever his mother is, she is an unnatural one, and wholly unworthy to be blessed with offspring." " How about the father?" asked the woman. " The father may not be wholly blameless; from a mother we expect more. We expect the mother to nurture the being to whom she has given life. My son was abandoned by his natural mother when an infant. I have brought him up thus far, and I intend, if God spares my life, to finish the task as best I can." " You have a selfish reason for doing it. Your husband is the father of that boy." " Then, if that be so, I am under more obligation to rear him, so that he may be a credit to his father." The woman sat in thoughtful mood. W T hat a mysterious character was Kate to her! She could not comprehend a woman who could take such a position; she had never seen one, had never heard of one, and had never read of one. She expected to make a great domestic brawl; expected the wife would be jealous and suffer something she herself had suffered. She was wholly nonplused by Kate s cool, im penetrable way. " Suppose I tell what I know about your husband?" "Suppose you do." "It will make a great blow, and disgrace you/ "Do you think so?" "I could keep still if I had anything to make it worth while." Kate looked the woman from head to foot. The scorn that shot up into her eyes made the creature wince. Kate NOT TO BE FRIGHTENED. 235 leaned forward in her chair, fastened her eyes on the woman s cowering face, and said: "Look up! Look up into my face;" and in slow, meas ured words, she said: "You will never receive one dime, not even a crumb of bread, to keep any secret you hold in regard to my husband s past life. Do you know, woman, that when a wife stands truly and firmly by her husband s side, the world will stand there too. Go on, now; do your worst, and I will foil you at every step. I will denounce you, and you will be looked upon for what you are." "But/ said the woman, making a show to regain her bravado; "would you like to have the world know that the boy is illegitimate ?" " Yes, if you wish it so." "Have you no shame in the matter?" said the woman. " What have I done to be ashamed of?" " Have you no feeling for the boy ? It would disgrace him." " I will take care of that." " It will disgrace your husband." "Have I not told you I will defend him? And the world very easily forgets a youthful indiscretion in a man." " But never in a woman," said the woman bitterly. " That depends altogether upon her repentance; or at least it does with me. Had you come to me in the right spirit, you could have made me your friend." " So you will give me nothing to keep still?" " I may give you a cell in the county jail, but nothing more." " Look out for me; I will yet cripple you. I will bring you down from your high perch. You would not speak so confident if you knew what you were talking about." "No more threats," said Kate; " or I will show you no mercy. Never come here again. I am not to be intimi dated in any form." The woman passed out of the door, giving Kate a look of 236 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. deadly hate. She had " reckoned without her host," and had found in this quiet Yankee woman a nature she had not counted on. She had come a long distance to make a disturbance in this home, and found at the helm a sturdy captain, who was master of the situation. She found a woman who took a position that she deemed right, and maintained it with an indomitable will that would put cowards to flight. Here was a woman that Tom had ruled in one way and another ever since he had been married to her. Here was a woman who had been weighed and was not found wanting. That night, after George had retired, and there was no one present except Tom, Kate, and the cat, who was sleep ing soundly on a hearth-rug, and not likely to divulge any family secrets that may be spoken of, Kate said : " Tom, George must be sent away to school/ " Sent away to school!" said Tom, a slight pallor over spreading his face. A few weeks since he would have made all sorts of objections; he would have asked his wife what a woman knew about such things. Tom did not reply imme diately; he was thinking. " Yes, this is the way; let a woman find out a little thing about a man, and she will use it to whip him with." When he looked up, he said, "Where shall we send him ?" " We will send him as far as Boston." " But the boy can t trail off there alone." " I know that/ said Kate. " You must go with him." " Thunder and lightning! that will be a great expense." " Well, you can afford it; you need a change for your health." (We should have mentioned that Tom s health was failing him.) " I want you to start by to-morrow even ing. You will do it, won t you, Tom ?" " Well, I don t know but what it would do my health good. It seems rather soon to start." " Not a bit. I will see that your baggage is in perfect readiness before to-morrow evening. You had better go by TOM GOES A JOURNEY. % 237 water : a sea voyage will be the most beneficial to your health. Well, is it settled that you will go to-morrow evening ?" " Well, I suppose so/ said Tom, getting up, and turning himself a glass of water. " Look here, Tom: go to the store to-morrow as usual; it is not necessary to tell any of the hands at the shop that you intend to take a journey; and, now I think of it, I would not speak to any one about it. People are not expected to tell every move they make/ It is high time the reader made a call on D. D. Spludge. That gentleman is getting old; at least, he looks older than there is any occasion for a man to look, provided said man had a genial disposition. The well-regulated Mrs. Spludge has long since been gathered to her fathers; and we have a good notion to go and marry David Delight Spludge to Mrs. Jane Junk, just to take the conceit out of him. It is only our respect for the lady that forbids our making such a match; for Mrs. Junk is too good for him. While we are about it, we may as well tell that D. D. Spludge s daughter is greatly in love with Joel; and much as her father dislikes the name of Junk, the daughter would not object to it, provided she could have it for a lifetime. But, my fair Lilian, there is no such happiness in store for you. Joel called on the Spludges only as often as courtesy de manded. At such times Mr. Spludge was polite, asked Joel a few questions regarding his studies, and went through the usual form of making himself agreeable. The last time Joel called, that gentleman seemed to feel it was his duty to take Joel to task on the church question. " I see, Joel, you do not attend church as regularly as you did. What is the cause of it?" " There is no cause, except I am very tired when Sunday comes, and I like to take a stroll. It is the only time I have." " That answer will avail you little in the Judgment Day," said Mr. Spludge, solemnly. " God will hardly accept such an excuse." 238 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. Joel squared himself around in his chair and rested a hand on each knee; he threw his head back and said: " Mr. Spludge, I have heard God slaodered in this way ever since I could remember." " Slandered!" " Yes, slandered. Yes, that is the word, and none other. Now that I am old enough to think, I reverence God too much to sit quietly by and hear the Supreme Ruler of the universe spoken of in any such way." "Explain yourself/ said Mr. Spludge, entirely thrown off his balance. (( I w T ill. Ever since I can remember, my good adopted mother Junk has taught me the only place where God could be found on Sunday was in the church, or jail, or serving Him by doing something for his children (as she calls them). Your God may go to church on the Sabbath and listen to a dry, musty sermon, built up from the narrow ideas of one man ; but my God is in the trees, the flowers and the grass. My Sabbath sermon comes from the tiny warbling throats of singing birds, the running brook, the blue sky, and all of God s works. This is my church, and ever w r ill be." Mr. Spludge looked dumfounded. If Joel had been his son, he would have given him a good horse-whipping, just for his views on religion, to say nothing of some other advanced ideas. "Well, young man, do you expect to succeed in your profession when your principles become known?" "I shall never use the church as a mantle of popularity. I am disgusted at the amount of dirty work that sinners call upon God and the church to do for them." " Then you call it dirty for a respectable man to belong to a church, do you?" " That depends entirely upon his motives. If a man joins the church because it is the fashion, and because it may help his business, I say such a man is to be despised " " Do you know such ones?" ON THE ROAD TO DESTRUCTION. 239 "I do." "Name them." " I do not feel called upon to name them." Then you think there are no honest men connected with the church?" " I did not say that, nor do I think it. I know there are good, honest souls in the church who think it is the only way to worship God." So you intend to set up your wisdom over a religion that has stood eighteen hundred years?" " I do not intend to set up my religion over other minds, nor do I intend they shall set up theirs over mine." " I am very much surprised at your irreverence." " I am not irreverent. I deny the charge. I reverence an honest man; a man who dares to act as he feels. And if man is made in God s own image, I must revere my God." "You do not believe the Bible, I take it?" " I am not prepared to answer that question. I don t think I am old enough to have studied it sufficiently. There are certain passages I do not believe." " Name them." " Well, I do not believe that story of Jonah and the whale; I don t believe the Red Sea ever parted; I don t believe the story of the loaves and fishes; I don t believe the story of Noah and the ark." When you come to sum it up, there is little you do be lieve." "Yes, I believe all that will ever do me any good. I believe in Jesus Christ; I believe he was a good man, and if we would all follow his example we should do better." "Do you believe he died to save you?" " No, indeed; he did not die. He was killed by his enemies. He left his teachings for us to follow; and those of us that follow them shall be blessed. This is my be lief." Young man you are on the road to destruction." 240 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " But none can say I am sailing under false colors." " What has brought about this change?" " Thought." " It seems to me the want of thought," said Mr. Spludge. "Maybe; but I do not feel called upon to credit a superstitious, unreasonable story because the majority do." I will not allow such talk in my house ; calling God unreasonable !" " Sir! Had I been coward enough to conceal my views, you would have been pleased. I think we shall have no trouble in the future. Good-day, Sir," and Joel walked out of the house, and left Mr. Spludge in a fury. "Lilian! Lilian! Lilian!" shouted Mr. Spludge, as he put his head out of the drawing-room door. " What is it, pspa?" said the girl, coming in. " I do not want you to speak to Joel Junk again while you live." "Why, papa?" " He is a scoffer of the Holy Bible. He does not accept it. He will never attend church again. He is an upstart; and what can you expect from such an origin ?" "You surprise me, papa. Joel is held in very high esteem by all who know him." "Yes, maybe; but they do not know him. This is the first time I ever sounded him on his principles." " There is not a person in the world with better princi ples than Joel/ said the daughter, with some of her father s spunk. " How dare you say that to me, when I tell you I have sounded him on his principles ?" "You always had a secret dislike for Joel; and you use this because you have failed to find anything else," said the girl saucily. " Perhaps you think just as this ingrate beggar does about the Bible ?" stamping and raving like a madman. "Yes, I do," said the girl, "if the Bible makes every CALLING HARD NAMES. 241 one act as you are acting now. I can t see much good in a religion that makes folks call hard names. I don t believe you can find that in the Bible." " Who called hard names?" said the old man. " You have; you just called Joel an ingrate and a beggar." " Well, is he not a beggar?" "No! He is a worthy young man, that all the good folks like." " Girl, how dare you defy me in this way? I tell you, if I ever hear of your speaking to Joel, I will disinherit you." " Papa, I will obey you in all things I know to be right; but never in anything I know to be wrong. If you are going to disinherit me, you can do so now; for I tell you, when I meet Joel I shall speak to him as I always have done, and as I always shall do. As long as Joel treats me kindly I shall treat him the same. If I had mamma s spirit you could make me do as you wished. But I happen to have yours, and you cannot." With a defiant toss of the head she left the room. The wrathy old man had made a mistake; and what was worst of all, he could not see how he could retract. He walked up and down the room, muttering something about "upstarts," the "present age," and " what was the world coming to when such sprouts dare to defy a man in this way." He had made a great mistake. Of course he would not disinherit his daughter; but how should he go to work to make her obey ? We will whisper to you, David Delight, how you can do it. Close one eye, and don t pretend to know if your daughter does speak to the beggar. It is the best you can do under the circumstances, and your only way out of the woods. 16 CHAPTER XXX. LETTERS LIFTED FROM THE DEPTHS. NOW letters began to come from Europe. Strange as it may appear, we have known Joel to wait two days before he would open a letter that he knew came from Car rie. He would steal away from the sound of human kind, far from the habitations of men, and sitting beside a brook, under a leafy tree, would enjoy those letters by himself. It was here he answered them. The Senator s letters to him were racy and full of dry jokes. Carrie s were frank, warm, and full of affection. Sternna s were more profound. Her letters were the best educator, touching upon new and un seen things to Joel. She talked of the museums of art, the grand pictures, and the impression they made upon her. " Now, Joel, read Homer s Iliad, and you will better under stand some pictures I shall write you about in my next." This young girl was unconsciously leading Joel far up into the classics. She was painting pictures on the tablet of his mind that were lifting him far above the realities of life. It was well that the Senator wrote as he did. It was well that Carrie wrote as she did, for the two made an excellent bal ance. To keep up this varied correspondence was a pleasant task. In these letters were no warning admonitions to Joel to be good, and do thus and so. They all knew that he was in need of no such admonition; their confidence in him admitted of no doubt, and Joel was spared what many another has suffered from being written to, "Now be good, shun bad company," and a hundred other things that peo ple are reminded to do by being told not to do them. INSANE WITH TROUBLE. 243 It is time that we looked after our good, brave Kate. She is alone, and her attention is divided between her husband s hardware store and her household. She kept the books, sold saws and files, tenpenny nails, and saw them deliv ered; made out bills of sale, kept the men at work, and straightened everything. Tom Glewer s business never had been conducted so well since it was started. The trade began to increase, and what wonder? When a beautiful woman is at the head of any trade it is likely to increase. But where was Tom? was the question the curious ones began to ask. Kate invariably answered that his health demanded a change. One morning, as Kate was hustling about preparatory to going to the store, there came a ring at the door. Her first thought was that she would not answer the ring; her next was, " It may be that woman, and it is better she should come here than to the store." She answered the ring, and found no less a personage than our own Madame Junk. As the two women were having a comfortable chat, there came another ring : this time it was that woman. "So, you re to home this time. I ve been here twice, and couldn t find you in." "Well, what do you want now?" said Kate. "I want to talk." " Come in," and Kate took the woman in where Madame Junk was seated. The woman started back on seeing a stranger. But Kate said, "Come in; this is a friend of mine. We can talk in her presence just as well." The woman sat down, looking first at Kate and then at Madame Junk. "Do you want to be exposed before this woman?" " I have nothing to conceal from her. If you have you can think about it." " Perhaps this lady can tell me where my boy is," said the woman, referring to Madame Junk. "Your boy? What boy? I never saw you before." 244 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. "Then you didn t know that this woman (pointing to Kate) never had a child? She stole mine, and calls it hers. What do you say to that? "Where is Tom? " He is not in town/ said Kate, looking the woman quietly in the eyes. "Not in town?" " No. Did I not tell you the last time you were here that I should foil you in any attempt you might make to injure my husband or son ?" The woman jumped to her feet. She stamped, she raved and swore; she shook her fists in Kate s face, and called her a sly Yankee hussy; but she would have the best of her yet. It was well that Madame Junk was present, or she might have throttled Kate. " Mrs. Glewer, this woman is insane with trouble," said Madame Junk. " Not at all," said Kate, " only malicious." Madame Junk walked up to the woman, and took hold of her arm. " My good woman, do be quiet." " Don t call me a good woman. I am a devil from the bottomless pit of hell." " And there is no one belonging to me that you can drag down with you," said Kate. Madame Junk shuddered. " My good woman, let me talk with you. I am a friend to those who are friendless. Let me pray for you." (< To the devil with you and your prayers!" Before she had finished this sentence, Madame Junk was on her knees, with clasped hands, and eyes raised to heaven. She poured out a fervent prayer for this poor woman. "O God, come with thy holy presence, and guide my poor sister in the right path." All through this prayer she called her sister. She prayed so earnestly that the woman became quiet, and it seemed that God had answered her prayers. She prayed that this woman might be born again. A CUP OF TEA WILL DO US GOOD. 245 Madame Junk arose from her knees, and laid her long, cool hand upon the woman s forehead. She parted her hair, and smoothed it back. She took her hand, and said: "My good woman, be yourself. You are with friends. We do not wish to harm you, but to do you good. The world is not so bad as you think." She untied the woman s dilapidated hat, and brought cold water and bathed her head. You are not well; your head is hot." Madame Junk patted and coaxed this great Amazon as if she had been a child of five years. Madame Junk drew her arm-chair close beside the woman, adjusted her spec tacles, took the family Bible from the table, and read, in slow, distinct measure, " Christ s Sermon on the Mount." Every now and then she patted the woman s hand as it rested on her lap. Kate had walked to the window. The tears were flowing from her eyes. "I am not a Christian," she thought to herself. Madame Junk read, and her voice was attuned by the touch of God. It had entered the inmost portals of the woman s soul; it cleared its way through the corrupt mass that had almost obliterated the woman s better nature. When Madame Junk had finished reading, she looked up, and found that tears were flowing fast, and dropping upon the woman s hands, and likely to give them a better wash than they had had for many a day. " You don t know what I have had to make me what I am." " Well, never mind that now. You are not well enough to talk about that," and good Madame Junk would have made the woman believe she could scarcely live the day out, although outwardly there were no visible signs of any such sudden exit. "Kate I should have said Mrs. Glewer have you any tea in the house? I want a cup of tea; a cup of tea will do us all good." 246 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. Kate turned, and Madame Junk saw that she had been weeping. Kate walked up to the woman, held out her hand, and said: "Forgive me; I have been shown that I am not a Christian; I have not had a Christian feeling for you." " We cannot be friends," said the woman. "There! there!" said Madame Junk; "let us have our tea. Katie, you fix it and I will talk with our sister." She took the pin out of the woman s shawl. " Come, you have been weeping; bathe your face and hands and you will feel better." She conducted the woman to the next room, gave her fresh water and handed her a cake of nice soap and a clean towel. Then she was fumbling in a closet and brought out a clean sack and made the woman slip it on over a much- soiled dress. When this was done she said: " Come here, my good woman," and she drew a chair to the window that looked out upon Kate s flower garden. She bade the woman sit down and look at the flowers. " Flowers are the lan guage of love; look at them." Madame Junk, with the godliness within her and her true Christian principles, had done more in an hour to conciliate this woman than Kate could have done with her brave nature in a lifetime. Mad ame Junk slipped out and whispered to Kate: "Make a good strong cup; I will dispose of this woman. We must manage not to have publicity in this affair." Madame Junk flew to the pantry and brought out every thing to eat she could find and placed it on the table; she rolled an easy-chair up and led the woman up to it. Kate took a seat at the head of the table, and Madame Junk said grace: " O God, we thank Thee for Thy bounteous bless ings. May our sister who is beneath this roof eat and be comforted. O God! give to her from the bread of life. "We each and all thank Thee for Thy kind protection. Amen." When Madame Junk looked up from her "Amen," she began waiting upon this strange woman as if she had been THE PICTURES. 247 the most distinguished guest. She talked upon indifferent subjects; about the weather, the flowers and some of her own experiences. She reflected something of her own sor rowful life; how she had trusted in God, and how she had been shown the right way. An outside observer would have been at a loss to know in what relation these three women stood to each other. Madame Junk addressed the woman as sister. At such times the woman would drop her head and look so ashamed. Madame Junk had by sheer Christianity vanquished the foe; such kindness had been unknown to the woman for years. Madame Junk had taken the " bull by the horns/ and her manner of taming never failed. " Yes/ she thought to herself, " I have got an elephant, now I must find a place to keep it." Madame Junk was a quick thinker. She must have a private talk with the woman, find out what her name was, where she came from, and of what nation she was for she knew she was not American what she had done and what she could do. If this woman was a roaring lion just going about to see whom she might devour, she must be put into a cage, that was all there w^as about it. " Mrs. Glewer," said Madame Junk, " if you have busi ness down town I will mind the house; besides, I want to have a talk with this good woman." Kate thanked Madame Junk for her kindness r and said she would avail herself of it. Madame Junk began bustling about; the woman, relieved of Kate s presence, began to look about. Her eyes wan dered from ceiling to carpet, and caught on their round a group of pictures that hung on the wall. She walked over to them : it was Tom Glewer, his wife Kate, and the boy hung between them. She looked long and earnestly at the picture of the boy. The woman s heart was moved like a mighty volcano. The pent-up feelings of years broke forth in a long, bitter wail. A dog might have pitied her then. Her large frame shook, and convulsive sobs called Madame Junk to her side; she laid one hand upon her shoulder. 248 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " My good friend." "That is my child, that is my boy, and I have never rested since I left him. Why can t I see him, just once? I will promise never to trouble them again." " There, there, my good woman; you shall see him, if you will obey me. You would like to see your child grow up a useful man, would you not? "Yes, yes; may he never know the shame and sorrow I have endured." "You must quiet yourself. You are ill, and no wonder. The child has a father and mother that can make him all you wish him to be." "The boy s father would have been my husband if he had kept his promise to me," said the woman, with some thing of the old vindictiveness coming back into her face. "There, there, my child," said Madame Junk, soothingly; " men are prone to err. Very few of them were born right. Few of them keep a promise to a woman they have injured in this way; but you must look at this from a reasonable standpoint. He is lawfully married now to a good and noble woman, and his wife is % the adopted mother of your child. She took him from the orphan asylum, and the papers are made out for her by that society : she can hold the child by law ." "But," said the woman, "she did not know her husband was the father of the child." "Yes, she did," said Madame Junk, "or she would not have adopted him. She would have preferred a girl." A new light dawned upon the woman s mind. "Few women would do that," said the woman; "she must be good and generous." "She is all of that," said Madame Junk, " and brave, too, to the last degree. You see, a woman who can do so much can do much more." "Did Tom know it was his own child?" " No, not for a long time; and in fact, I do not know that SOMETHING PAST FORTY. 249 he knows it now. His wife has never talked with him on the subject." "Why did she keep this a secret from him ? " "She knew if he was aware of the truth, he would not allow her to have the child, and Mrs. Glewer was deter mined to make him do a father s duty without knowing 1 it. But Tom loves the boy very much now. I think it would grieve him very much to part with him." " The wretch!" said the woman. "Tut, tut, you must not talk so." "I need not call him that. I left the child myself, and when a mother does that we have no right to expect much from the father." "Well, now, you see the good Mrs. Glewer has been father and mother both to your more than orphan child. If she has the appearance of being austere in this matter it is her right." "Yes, but why didn t she make the explanation to me ? " " Too proud; she is much too good for Tom." "How did such a beautiful woman come to marry Tom Glewer?" All the answer Madame Junk could give to this question was: " She was young. You must excuse me if I ask you a few questions. Are you poor? Are you in need of money and a home ? " " I am in need of both." " Will you labor?" "If any one will give me work." " I will attend to this," said Madame Junk, elevating her eyebrows. What class of labor do you understand ?" " I used to, years ago, work in a shop. I was a tailoress." "That class of labor would not be healthful for you now. How would you like to come and work with me? The lady I work for is in need of help. I shall have to give you a good recommendation; and if I do, I have no fear you will make me violate my word." Tears were again falling from the woman s eyes, and she said: 250 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " I am something past forty years of age, and never in my life have I known such kindness as you have shown me." She seemed choked, and could not speak more for a mo ment. "I wish I had met you earlier in life. I might not be the thing I am." "Do not speak in that way of yourself. You are one of God s children, and have a claim upon your brothers and sisters." " Madame, I have no words to express my gratitude. I am weak. Your prayer has lifted a burden from my soul. If I go with you, I am saved; if I go alone, I am lost." "You shall be saved/ said Madame Junk, firmly; "and I thank God for being the instrument. "What name shall I call you?" " Call me Mary;" and Madame Junk took Mary Magda lene by the hand and walked forth, thinking to herself, " My home shall be thy home; my God shall be thy God, and we will dwell together as one people." CHAPTER XXXI. PRAYERS ANSWERED. TOEL stood at the head of his class in everything. ^_J There was a silent, defiant pride about him. If he was not the equal of his classmates in money, birth, and name, he stood above them in natural gifts. Joel suffered; for more than once the envious tongues whispered he would not be there but for the Senator s purse; " and they do say Miss Carrie Smith loves him, and the Senator favors the suit." It seemed that such little innuendoes served as a spur to make him earn laurels that should far eclipse a lack of money and obscurity of birth. Joel was a favorite with the professors, especially those who had had practical experience in struggling for a superior education. Joel enjoyed some advantages his classmates did not. Through the Senator, Mr. Stanly became Joel s devoted friend; and more than one problem that gentleman so clearly elucidated to Joel s comprehension that it became his own. Joel not unfrequently puzzled his teacher with his knowledge of this and that. We cannot dwell at length on all the boy suf fered. During those years of toil, step by step he was climbing a height whose summit he will reach ere long. Joel had ever guarded with care the package given him by the man who called himself his father. Not a living soul knew that he held such a package, except the man who gave it to him. Mother Junk did not know it; and it was well she did not. Being a woman, she might have deemed it her duty to persuade Joel to open it. Every night that good woman knelt down by her bed- 252 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. side, and every niglit an especial prayer was offered up to the throne of grace for Joel. Who can watch Joel and say that her prayers were not answered? Joel was her earthly idol. She was content to pray for him, and admire him at a distance. In one sense Joel had grown away from her; in another, she was near and dear to him. He longed to give her a home. She should have every comfort when he had gained that which he was valiantly fighting for. Every Sabbath Mary was seated beside Madame Junk. Every Sabbath she listened to the teachings of good Dr. S . She felt like a traveler who had walked a long dis tance over a desert, where the burning sands scorched her feet, and who is now resting beneath the cool shade of some flowering tree, whose sweet-scented blossoms fall all about her. Her face was no longer red : it had settled into a quiet expression; and not a few might have called her good- looking. The reader has long since learned that Miss Busy did not belong to the same class of Christians as Madame Junk; still, her Christian principles led her to assist all those who were in need, provided they showed a disposition to help themselves. Miss Busy was a good friend to Mary, whom she found industrious and useful in her establishment; but her English notions of caste prevented her ever making an equal of her. Not so with Madame Junk. She believed we were all children of one common Father. Madame Junk set Miss Busy s ideas at naught by taking Mary under her wing to places which Miss Busy did not consider quite in keeping with a lady. But Madame Junk s knowledge of human nature taught her that, in order to work a reform, we must build up a self-respect whose foundation must be honor. In matters of this sort, Mad ame Junk showed an energy that was a marvel to all who knew her. If she could get Mr. Stanly on her side, she should have Miss Busy. With this end in view, she opened the subject of reform one evening, as Mr. Stanly was pay- SHE OPENED THE SUBJECT OF REFORM. 253 ing them a visit. In almost all of Madame Junk s advanced ideas on this subject, that gentleman concurred. So there after Mary always ate at the table with them, and was intro duced to callers, and in many other ways treated almost, if not quite, as an equal. CHAPTEK XXXII. WHOLESOME ADVICE LETTERS TO AMERICA. r~P!IME flies swiftly. Three years have glided away since J^ our friends left America for France. One morning, as Sternna sat in her studio, working over a picture she was to have finished before her teacher again calls, there came a tap at her door. Thinking it might be her teacher, she said, "Come in." An old man put his head in, and said, speaking in half- forgotten French, as if he had spent years in a country not his own : " "Will the young lady pardon an old man ? I have watched you come out and go in. I want to ask one little question." "Yes; come in." " No, thank you," said the old man, holding the door ajar, with just his head protruding through the aperture. "Did you come from bonnie Scotland ? " "No, Sir; I came from America." "Is your father not Scotch? " said the man, forgetting he had but one little question to ask. Sternna leaned back in her chair, held her brush aloft, and turning her antique profile to the view of the old man, who gave a start, she said: "Why do you ask this question?" " I beg pardon, young lady." He closed the door, and was gone. Sternna avoided all publicity further than was necessary to attain her profession. She could have mingled with the best if she had felt so disposed. She did not come here to ALL JUDGMENT. 255 study society, but to study art; and, as a usual thing, there is very little of the latter in what is termed society. Carrie and the Senator were her only callers, and the only ones she devoted any time to. One day the professor, under whose teachings she sat, said: " Miss Sternna, you may now compose a picture for yourself/ 5 "Do you intend I shall compose it?" asked the girl, wonderingly. " Certainly, if you wish. In what direction does your fancy run ?" Sternna s first thought was of her benefactor; her active brain was in a whirl in an instant. " Please, Sir, will you give me a few days to think of it?" The benign old professor looked clown upon the girl with feelings we can scarce define. This girl had been the most diligent pupil he ever had; and we will go further, and say that he ever saw. She had followed his instructions to the letter; had never assumed pompous ideas of her own a thing the old professor declared characteristic of his male students. Never once had she assumed to know better than himself. "With all this he understood her individual nature. This nature she made subservient to the fundamental rules of technicalities. She remembered Mr. Stanly s advice; she was studying to execute. There was plenty of time to let the spirit play when she had learned the use of her wings. " Professor, shall I compose the picture ? Will you not make a suggestion ?" " Not of a subject. I wish to see what flights your fancy will take. When once on the wing, I may strengthen you a little. You must begin to use your power in order to grow. I shall not interfere with your thought. I only re quire to catch your thought, then I can make suggestions in regard to the best way of executing it." " Have you no choice in my subject ?" 256 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. :e No," said the professor; " there is no necessity for my having. If you had less judgment, I might have." " But how can you trust to my judgment, when you have never seen anything of it ?" " Ah! have I not ?" said the professor, laughing. " You are all judgment. I haven t seen anything in you but judgment." " How so ?" said Sternna. " Why, you have shown excellent judgment by following my instructions, without the least interference of your own. My young friend, these are rare instances. You have al lowed your spirit to merge into mine; you do not want to be an imitator, do you ?" " Is knowledge imitation ?" asked the girl. " Not in science; but in art it may become so." " And science will enable me to paint my own poetry." The old professor looked at his pupil with moist eyes. " "Well, take a day or two for thinking. Go out, and re cuperate. You need it; you have worked hard for a long time. Freshen yourself up." He held out his hand a thing he had never done before. " Good morning, Miss Sternna." Sternna s first thought was of the Senator; she remem bered her promise to him; she had asked him to wait five years, and the end was creeping along. Does the reader apprehend how difficult it was for Sternna to associate a fine classical painting with an uneducated, good-hearted Amer ican man? The very thought of placing something before him that he could not see was repellent to her nature. Should her soul only take up that which his soul could reach? It was impossible for her to execute that which would please him, or that which he would comprehend; and that which would please him would not please her. True, she knew he would play pleased, but she wanted his pleasure real. She had told him she would bring him something he would look upon as worthy; she did not realize how difficult WRITING TO AMERICA. 257 it would be to keep her word in the truest acceptation of the term. What should she do? There was Carrie; she might sound her father on what would most please him in the way of a picture. Should she choose her motive, and teach him to love it before it was born ? The last thought seemed to quiet her; she would sound him on the poets; she would find out which he liked. But, my queen, you will be disappointed. The Senator don t know much about poetry or the poets. If you were to paint Aunt Betsy Trotwood, as she was talking to David Copperfield about his sister Betsy that would have been, he would have understood that, and laughed himself almost to death. But the classic is not in his line, any more than Aunt Betsy Trotwood is in yours. What could that old servant mean by asking her if she was Scotch; did she look so? She drew out the locket and looked at the two pictures. She had never seen Scotch people. Did they look different from others ? She would watch for the old man and question him more closely. She would find out why he asked her this question. Sternna arose and walked to the opposite side of her studio, placed her writing material in convenient array, and began writ ing letters to America. She would write to good Mother Junk, Miss Busy and Joel. She would tell them what she was about to undertake; she needed their loving sympathy. Mother Junk would pray for her, and her prayers would do her good. Joel would talk brave to her; in his grand hope and untiring zeal she would gather fresh energy. With Miss Busy s encouraging words and predictions she could almost grasp the mighty problem of the future. For a long time Sternna had been studying over a pic ture. To insure the success of any great object in life, thought is requisite. When we speak of thought we do not refer to ordinary thinking; we refer to that class of thought which challenges the spirit to come forth, that breaks the bolts and opens the door to the inmost soul. It matters 17 258 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. not what the world may think of spontaneous thought or old-time impressions. Nature, ever true to herself, pre pares, even as the tiller of the soil prepares the ground before he plants the seed. So did God attune this " harp of a thousand strings" ere it sang the sweet songs of the past. All great things are of slow growth; though that growth be unseen by mortal eye, it is the law of nature. While our little charity waif was making such progress in art, the Senator s daughter was making an onward march in literature. It was a query with many who wrote those delightful little poems over the nom de plume of " Midge ;" they were creating quite a furore. They were written and published in French. The only thing known about them was, they were written by an American lady; but as there were many American ladies in Paris, it was not easy to find out. All this our benign Senator looked upon with a degree of pride which was pardonable. If he did not say his daughter had brains, he thought so; and in his mind there were comparatively few born with brains. These poems were published in America, which, take it all in all, was not so wonderful when we consider how easy it was to have it done. One day Came came tripping up the steps that led to Sternna s stindio. She was laden with an important decis ion which she would lay at the feet of her friend, and ask her judgment thereon. " Sternna," said Carrie, standing face to face with her, and placing her arms about her neck, " I have made up my mind to write a book." " Why not?" said Sternna. 11 Do you think I can succeed?" " What do you mean by succeed?" Will it be popular?" " That I cannot tell you; but you will succeed." " How can it be a success if it is not received?" Sternna took Carrie by the hand and led her to a seat. PAPA THINKS THE SAME. 259 " Any work that requires study is a success; any work that develops and strengthens our mental capacities is a success. If we have the gifts we must cultivate them, and every step in advance is a success. To succeed with the mass we must first succeed with ourselves, and to do that we must begin, and that, too, with a will." " I should not like to begin if I thought I should fail." " You will not fail in the first essential thing, and that is the training of yourself." " Do you advise me to make the attempt?" " Most assuredly I do, if you feel the power within you." " I think I have some talent for writing." " Carrie, you will forgive me for speaking frankly to you. Were I less a friend I might speak differently, but I hold you dear as a sister." " I will take anything from you, Sternna. I know your judgment is in advance of my own, and papa thinks the same." "I do not know that my judgment is superior to your own; but since you have asked me, I will tell you all I feel. You must first work for your own approval, irrespective of what the public think. Be your own severe critic, your own hard task-master. Build up your own ideal, lofty and grand; make it what you would be willing to accept from others. You have read more than I. Now, if I were to place a work from one of your favorite authors before you, and say, Carrie, point me out the defects in this work/ I have no doubt but that you could find many." " Yes; but I do not expect perfection." " I do not agree with you in this. We should expect per fection. When we take perfection for our standpoint, we shall gain more than by thinking defects are expected, and will not be noticed. When you have written a thing, count yourself out. Look upon it as if it belonged to some one else. Criticize it as if you were a professional critic. Ana lyze vigorously. Throw all vanity out of it; and then, if it 26O MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. comes up to your highest ideal of works which you have accepted from others, you may be sure of success. It is only when your productions look poor to you, and you are dissatisfied with them, that you grow. It seems to be an ordeal through which we must pass/ Carrie looked despondent. "You quite discourage me from making the attempt/ " If I can discourage you by the truth, you were never brave enough to begin. It requires much courage to brave the truth in regard to art; and it is only those who hold our best interests that venture over the sacred portal of truth." " Papa said he was afraid it was a large undertaking for me, and I had better consult you about it." "I am pleased with your father s confidence in me, Car rie, and I should be unworthy if I did not speak my honest convictions to you. You must consult your strength. If you would lift a great weight, you must begin with a small one. It is thus that the mind is developed." { But I have written a few poems that have been received with favor." " Yes, they were quite fair," said Sternna; " but to write a romance that will be acceptable to the age, requires not alone natural gifts, but a fancy largely strengthened by actual experience. Even in fiction there must be a show of nature; it is the nature which touches the reader above all things. Those writers who are pre-eminent in fiction are those who have studied the human heart in all its varied complications. " " Well, if what you say be true, one cannot trust alone to fancy; we must have age; for it is only with age we can gather those experiences that you deem necessary for an author of fiction." Yes, age is necessary," said Sternna. " The best writers have, in a general way, written their master-works after they had passed the age of forty. Certainly, there are ex ceptions, but those exceptions, I think, have been in poetry, MODERN ROMANCE. 26 1 where we expect less of the real than in prose. To write a book, it seems to me, we should gather studies; pass much time in making observations; draw up your characters as a general does a regiment of troops, and make each one do his duty, and do not enroll more than you have use for. Were I a writer of fiction, I should not use characters just for filling; I should only use them to show a phase of human nature, or for moral toning. It seems to me that the suc cess of a writer depends much upon this. It is the same in painting a picture; it must mean something, represent something, or its effect is nothing." " We have much that is allegorical, both in writing and painting, and there is a world of meaning in that/ said Carrie. Only for the few; the mass have not been educated up to the sublimity of those things. The lover of mythology does not read modern romance." "To me, mythology is the height of extravagant romance." "It is classical, and so combined with ancient history that the readers of fiction will not search for its hidden meanings." "Sternna, you have taught me much to-day. You have given me food for thought. You have done more for me in this conversation than all those who have endeavored to make me think I am a great genius." "It is my own experience that makes me talk thus to you. You know how good Mother Junk and Miss Busy, and all the rest, used to talk about my pictures. When I woke up and found the dream they- had talked me to sleep over, I felt so ashamed. I must work; and years hence I shall still be nothing, for life is too short to learn all that some souls would know. If what I have said to you, my dear sister Carrie, will cause you to drop out of the ranks, you were never fit to enter them. But I have no fear of that. When once we enter upon a path we scarce ever turn back. True, we may become laggards, if we are con- 262 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. tent to be so. All depends upon your own energy. Great men make little talent do good work, but great talent with little energy will do a poor business." Thus it was the corner-stone was laid in Game s char acter, as Madame Junk would have put it. Thus it was " that bread cast upon the waters returns to us after many days." CHAPTER XXXIII. A WABNING TO MEN A STRANGE MEETING CON FLA- GRATIONJOEL ABDUCTED. AMUEL BLOWEK was actually in a decline. How- ever, his lungs and tongue were able to perform regular duty. He told his wife just as frequently that she was a worm-eaten Yankee fool. He packed up his haver sack as often as of yore. He searched just as diligently for flaws as ever. If there were no pins to step on, may be he could find a hole as big as a pin-head in the toe of his stocking, or a fly-speck on the window glass. He had his whaling days. What we mean by whaling clays is, when he sent up a spout that would drench his poor wife to the bones. It generally ended in his poor wife having a nervous attack, and being obliged to send for sister Jane, who generally prescribed quiet in large doses. It so happened one morning that Samuel was having an unusual spout out, and threatening, in vociferous measures, to pack up his haversack, when he was stricken with par alysis; one arm, one leg, and all one side, were helpless. We hope this statement will be a warning to mankind. We shall feel repaid for having told the truth, if it will prevent husbands from getting on the rampage over pins and other little things. Yes, gentlemen, read and take warning. The volcanic eruptions of Samuel Blower were fast consuming him, and Betsy Blower will soon be left a widow. If she should chance to get a kind husband for the second one, you may be sure he will be appreciated; and, furthermore, in no danger of stepping on pins. If 264 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. any of my gentlemen readers anticipate wooing the widow, in giving her an inventory of your goods and chattels, pray don t count anything that looks like a haversack. If you have a carpet-sack, throw it out; for the best man that ever stood in boots would find no favor in the widow s (that is to be) eyes with any such article. So great is her dread of them, if she passes a store where they are hung out for sale she hastens by, expecting every moment the devil will jump out with a long pin and cry out, "Now Hi ham going to leave you. Then you ll see ow you ll get hon." So vivid may the imagination become by constant operation. Joel was about to graduate with high honors, when a cir cumstance occurred which brought him for the time being into disfavor with the professors. For some time there had been a strange-looking man lurk ing about the premises. He watched the young men as they went in and came out, looking each one over separately. At last, one day, he asked one of them if there was a young- man there they call Joel, and sometimes Joe Junk. " Will you tell him a friend a very dear friend would like to speak with him ?" Certainly the young man would convey the message. It was now the very atmosphere was rife with whisperings and doubts concerning the relationship of Joel and this man. Some said he was Joel s father; some said he was a thief; another a robber, with whom Joel was in league; that was where the money came from with which he pursued his studies. Such of the students as he had left in the rear manufactured all sorts of stories, and peddled them every where. Joel could have explained everything, and it was better had he done so. The more they gave vent to their curiosity, the more determined he became not to tell. When Joel went out to speak to the man, all eyes were upon him, and a few of the more ill-bred ones walked at a convenient distance to catch, if possible, what passed be tween them. THAT MAN IS NO GOOD. 265 "Did you -wish to speak to me, Sir? My name is Joel Junk." " My bonny lad, how much time ha ye to ga ?" " A quarter of an hour," returned Joel. "That ll nae be long enou . Can ye come out to yon clump o trees ? I ha somewhat to say ye/ Joel s thoughts ran quickly back to the man who called himself his father; he thought of the package. Maybe the man could tell him something. "I will be there at seven o clock," said Joel. " Thank thee, lad." The man s hat was off again, and, with Another bow, he walked away. Many mingled doubts and fears beset Joel s mind during the day. His impressive mind took in many things. Some way he felt that meeting with this man was an event in his life which would be marked with peculiar results. One moment he thought it would be good, the next evil. "Junk, what man was that you were speaking with?" said Albert Mayo, a young man that was in Joel s class, and who was Joel s true friend. " I do not know his name." " What did he want with you ?" " He wanted to speak with me alone." "Ah! he did, did he ? Now, look here, Joe, that man is not good, depend upon it. Are you going to- give him a chance to speak, to you alone ?" " Certainly." "When?" " To-night, at seven o clock." " Joe, I don t wish to pry into your affairs, but don t go alone; let me accompany you." " But he will not tell me what he has to say unless I go alone." " I shan t give my consent to your meeting that man alone." Joel burst into a fit of laughter, and elapsed Albert s hand with a hearty grip, and said: 266 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. ""Why, you talk as if the man would eat me up. If he were to attack me I could throw him over the trees/ " He might have help within hailing distance." " If I were a beautiful young lady, there might be some danger of my being abducted. How romantic ! You could fly to my rescue. We should fall in love with each other. Your father or my mother would object: then w r e should elope and it would be a first-class live novel." " Joe, I do not feel like laughing about this. It seems to me serious. You know that big rock, just the other side of the brook, before you come to the trees? I shall hide behind that. Here, take this/ and Albert handed Joel a tin whistle; "if you are in danger blow that, and here is something more you must take," and he handed Joel a revolver. " Oh, Albert, I shall have no use for such a weapon as this." "You don t know. I believe in being on the safe side." "I have a horror of such things. I have never earned one in my life; I never believed in them." " But you would feel justified in using one in self-defense, would you not?" " I suppose so; but what can this man want of me ? Not money, surely." "I don t know what this man wants of you, but I have a feeling that it is something not quite right. I feel he is an evil emissary for some one else." Albert Mayo was a large, powerful young man of twenty- two years of age. As an athlete there was not one in the University that could equal him. Albert Mayo dearly loved Joel. He was a wit, and very brave. There were number less students that winced under the lash of his tongue. They were not wont to speak out their disfavor of Joel in his presence. Withal, he had wealth and high social standing. Members of his family belonged to the world of letters. This young man was not a bit of a bully, but brave THE MEETING. 267 and just, with always a helping hand for the oppressed. He had always protected Joel without openly taking him under his wing. Without many words, the two understood each other. Long before seven o clock that night, there came on a drizzling rain. Being in the winter season, some time before seven the heavens were overhung by one im mense cloud, through which no star looked down. Albert Mayo stood with his greatcoat buttoned up to the eyes. "Joe, do you think the old fool will keep his appoint ment?" " I don t know; I shall keep mine." As Joel came up the hillside, upon which " yon clump of trees" stood, he saw a man sitting on a log. He was so muffled up that Joel could not tell if it was the same man with whom he had made the appointment : and what wonder a man should be muffled up on such a night as this ? Joel walked steadily toward him. The man arose, extended his hand, and said, in round, clear English : " Good evening, Joel! You did not expect to see me, did you?" " No; I did not. How did you come here? 5 " On my feet." " How did you get out of prison?" " No matter. You will not betray me?" " How do you know I won t. If I do my duty I shall, and I have always tried to do that." " You talk saucy for one who is wholly in my power." " I am in no man s power," said Joel, defiantly. " I have never done anything to place myself in the power of any bad man." " Why, you little fool, I could blow your brains out in an instant." " Could you?" said Joel, standing back. " Two can play at that game." " Come, come, boy, I was joking. I did not come here to murder you. What an unnatural father I should be to 268 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. kill my only beloved son ! And what an unnatural son you would be to deliver up your only father!" " You lie like a thief ! You are not my father." " Take care, boy, or you will never again see your benev olent Senator or his daughter, or your good Mother Junk. Besides, what will all your friends say? What will the pro fessors at the University say when they learn that you have had a private interview in the woods, on a dark night, with an escaped convict?" " They would say I was indiscreet, as I am, to come out and meet a thief and for all I know a murderer." "You would be expelled and disgraced. The Senator would withdraw his favor, and you would step clown from a respectable young gentleman to as big a vagabond as I am!" The very thought of being disgraced in this way made Joel s senses real. " What do you want of me? Why do you persecute me? I have never harmed you. You cannot use me in your plots." " Have you that package I gave you?" " 1 have." " Have you opened it?" " No! Did I not tell you I would not?" " Good!" said the man. " Have you ever told any one you have it?" " No! but that I did not promise you, if you remember." " I want it now. Will you bring it to me to-morrow night?" Joel stood as if reflecting. " Come, what do you say?" " There are three conditions upon which I will do so." < Name them." " The first is, that I shall have the privilege of opening the package; the second is, if it contains naught that will be an injury to any one, if it contains nothing but honora- WHAT A DIPLOMAT. 269 ble papers, I will bring them to you. Now, the other con dition is, that you shall never trouble me again, or cause others to do so; that you will never breathe my name to any living soul. If you wish to come to my terms I can come to yours." The man bit his lips until the blood run. He gnashed his teeth, and swore oaths that no connoisseur of swearing could have criticized. "Boy, you had best not tamper with me. I will have your head off in an instant;" and he made a start toward Joel, who stood back a few paces. "Be careful, Sir; I do not fear you." There was some thing about the impenetrable coolness of Joel that stunned the man. He was foiled. In place of his having Joel in his power, Joel had him. "Look here, Joe, suppose we compromise this a little. You shall open the package; but it shall be done in my presence. What do you say to that ?" " Yes; I will agree to it, if you will allow me to bring three well-armed men along." " Why these armed men?" " To protect me while I look it over:" "But I will promise no harm shall come to you. Have you no faith in my word ?" " Not a particle, Sir. I would not trust you one quarter of a second. If you do not see fit to comply with my con ditions, well and good; I shall place the package in safe hands, with instructions to open it, if any accident should befall me." " What do you mean by an accident befalling you?" " I mean in case I should be killed or disappear sud denly; or anything of that sort." "Great God!" thought the man; "he has divined my thoughts." He was livid with rage and fear. He waited a moment to recover his sophistry. "Why, Joe, what a diplomat you would make! You 270 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. really do me credit. You bid fair to out-general your father." "Is our interview at an end?" "I suppose so," said the man. "If I conclude to ac cept your conditions, you will bring me the package, will you ?" "Yes," said Joel; "but it will take half a day to read that package through." " When will you read it ?" "To-night." ""Well, you can do so. G-ood night/ said the man; to which Joel returned no answer, but was moving away. When he had walked a few steps, he turned suddenly about and shouted, " Halloo, Sir! I will mention one thing more. To avoid making you any trouble, Sir, I shall provide myself against surprises." " Now what do you mean?" said the man. " I mean, if any strange visitors design making me a call to-night I shall be ready to receive them that is all/ said Joel, walking on. "The hellion!" muttered the man. " Where ^has the little rat learned all these artful dodges?" He is adroit as a genuine rogue. So much for old Mother Junk s training." " Well, what luck?" said a man, appearing upon the spot where Joel had stood but a moment before. " None at all, said the first man. " That stripling with his quick wit is a match for any four of us. I would have choked him to death, but that would not bring me what I want. I have had some experience with devils incarnate; but he carries more guns than any human being I ever saw. He had the impudence to turn about with his dare-devil front and tell me he should be on the lookout Jor visitors." " What is to be done ?" said a third man, coming up. " I will be hanged if I can tell. I am euchred." The last man sat down upon the log, and pulled out a flask of THE THREE MEN. 271 brandy. " Drink, comrades, drink. I am chilled to the bones." " And I am in a burning fever/ said Burns. " Yes, where there are burns there must be fever." Say ing this, the man lit a stump of a pipe, filled with vile- smelling tobacco. " Come now," said Burns; "this is no time for smoking. What is to be done ?" " Easy, easy ! Let a body take a whiff or two just to quiet his nerves. We can fire the building," said the man, after deliberating a moment. " And burn up just the thing I want to save ?" " No," said the man. " If the boy is as sharp as you say he is, he will hold on to them papers." " But suppose all the inmates should be destroyed," said Burns, with a shudder. " Poh! we won t cheat the devil in that way. This ere building is a long way from the city. Before help could come, it would be as good as gone. I will holler Fire! when it gets agoing brisk. And when the young cove comes out I ll throw this ere skin over his head; and before his friends can say Jack Robinson, I ll have him out of reach." " That is a good plan, if I was only sure he would hold on to the papers." "Oh, he will do that; my eye for it." " What is done must be done quickly. Where is old Jonas Pictpink ?" " Back here a ways." " Go for him." " Look ahere : no shirking. You are to do your part of this work. The honors are easy, and we will divide the same." Who has thought about shirking ?" growled Burns. Joel had not more than reached the yard at the University when he was joined by Albert Mayo, 272 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE, "Anything serious, Joe?" " Inclined that way/ said Joel. " Come to my room." The two repaired to Joel s room, when Joel proceeded to relate as much of his past and present life as the situation demanded. " I have a feeling that this man will attempt to break in and get this package." " It would be a huge undertaking," said Albert. " Just think of their visiting every room in this University-build ing before coming to yours! No, they will not do that; but we will notify the authorities early in the morning, and have this gentleman looked after. That man is no more your father than I am. But, Joe, let us keep this to ourselves. If the snobs should get hold of this, it would be enough for them to tattle about for six months to come. Open the package; and if everything is all right, keep your word with him." I am very confident I shall not be obliged to keep my word. Had I not been so, I should not have made him such a promise." " Well, I will leave you alone." "Hold on, Albert; will you remain with me to-night?" " Why, yes; but I thought you would prefer to be alone when you opened this package." "If anything should come upon me unexpectedly, I want you to take charge of these papers; I want you to care for them as you would your life." " Why, Joe, what is the matter ? You don t expect to be killed, do you?" " I don t know what to expect; but I feel that some mis fortune will befall me." Albert walked back and laid his great hand on Joel s shoulder, looking kindly down upon him. He lifted his hand and doubled it together; it made a lump as large as an infant s head. He held that fist up before his own eyes, and lowered at it from underneath his brows. "Do you see that? Joe, it will sweeten your misfortune; THE HAND OF PROVIDENCE. 273 it is~not much of an ornament; but it is useful, and at your service." "It is my hand of Providence," said Joel, with a laugh. " They will get Providence, and what it designed for them, if they come within its reach," replied the young Her cules. "Adieu! I ll be with you again soon." It had ceased to rain. A few stars had ventured forth, and looked down upon a man who was crawling upon all- fours toward the rear of this building. He intended to bring up at that end where the building was stored with wood. He had a tinder-box, and all the apparatus neces sary for insuring a good fire. He understood his business; he had worked at his trade long enough to master it. Over the damp grass he moved, like a short misshapen snake. Now his head was raised above the level of his body, in a listening attitude; then his ear was laid to the earth like an Indian s. All was quiet, as was natural. Every student was preparing his task for the next day, and the professors were alike busy. This serpent would build none of your crackling fires, that could be heard above the music of the different pianos; no crackling should be heard until the right time came. Nearer and nearer this reptile came. When he had reached the point, he stretched himself close to the dark stone underpinning of the building, and lay for some moments like an inanimate log of wood. Then he took out a flask. His drinking was as easy and noiseless as if his stomach lay in the roof of his mouth. Then he began crawling again around the building, keeping close to the dark stone, that gave no contrast in color to his clothing. When he came round to the door where the fuel was kept, he took out a bunch of keys, unlocked the padlock, crept in, and built a fire against the main corner. He covered it with light wood, watched it get well started, then placed harder wood on. He took from his pocket a strong rope, that had a hook on one end; this he threw up to a beam overhead. The hook caught. He pulled himself up the 18 274 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. rope, and from a small tin box he took out some black-look ing stuff, and rubbed it on the boards with a small sponge. He swung to and fro, and laid it on with a prodigal hand. All this was done quickly. Then he went down and out, like a cat, and locked the door again. Down he crouched, and around the house he crawled, until he came to the window; cut out a pane of glass, inserted his hand, touched a spring softly, moved the window up; then down again to the dark stones, crawling to the rear. He crept a few paces, and was on his feet. At first, he took long steps, but light ones; a few paces more, and he broke into a run. He was not long in crossing the stream and up the hillside, where he found Mr. Burns and Jonas Pictpink anxiously waiting. " The job is did, and the fun will begin pretty soon." " You villain!" said Mr. Burns; "you were to stay near by, and cry Tire! " "You fool! I have built your fire; now you may warn the folks/ Burns trembled in every fibre of his body. "But the boy who is to take him?" I and Jonas will attend to that. We will hide our selves near by. Jonas knows the boy I don t. If he will point him out, I will make for him, and, in the hurly-burly, we can get him off safe enough. " "But if he don t have the papers, I don t care for the boy. I had rather not harm him. Can t you manage to get the papers without taking him away? " " No; it would take, too long. We know where we can keep him safe until it blows over." " How long must we wait before we cry fire?" said Mr. Burns. " When you see the flames licking the roof of this end of the building, then run as fast as you can and cry fire. They will come out of the main entrance and walk toward that little hill just in front of the house. See! see! up she comes! See the blaze !" THE FIRE. 275 And true enough, while they were talking, the flames broke forth in all their fury. Burns ran towards the build ing, crying " Fire !" as a man might who was gasping for his own life. It was a useless kindness on his part, as the in mates had discovered it themselves, and were now pressing out in crowds. Albert Mayo broke into Joel s room, where he had just opened the package. Joe ! Joe ! the house is on fire ! "On fire?" "Yes. Quick! Hear it roar!" " Oh, Albert! help me pick up these papers." The two young men packed together with nimble fingers the papers that lay scattered over the table. " Here, Albert, I give them to you. They will be more safe with you than with me/ 3 " Joe, keep close to me." And the two young men ran down the main corridor, and had just stepped over the threshold when the roof fell in. They were the last out. All was wild confusion. The students stood with uncovered heads and watched the build ing. Not one thing was saved nor one soul lost. Joel stood by Albert s side. They were the only two who had any definite thought as to the origin of the fire. They were conversing in whispers, when Joel was felled to the ground. Quicker than thought Albert grappled with the man. That large, useful hand was at the man s throat. "With one pow erful lunge the man was over Albert. Again that great hand crept up to the man s throat, and by a mighty effort the man was under the student. By this time the whole body of students were standing about, when Albert cried out: " Stand back, boys! Stand back! This job is mine, and I intend to finish it," and he showered the blows in the man s face with vehemence. " Knock a peaceful stu dent down, will you?" and he struck him again. " You thief ! you vagabond on the face of the earth, prowling 276 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. around here! Take that! and that!" dealing him a slap on each side of the face by the way of a finisher. " "When I have done with you I will hand you over to the law. But hold on, boys. I guess we had better hang him up to this tree; it all depends upon himself if we do or not." Albert arose, and lifted the man up as an old cat takes up a kitten. He stood the man up beside a tree, while all the students gathered about. Albert stepped back a step or two, folded his arms, and proceeded to examine the pris oner. ""Where is Joe Junk?" said Albert, looking anxiously about. "Here, Joe! Come this way; I am going to be judge and jury. Ho, Joe! come; are you hurt much?" But no Joe was to be found. The students in twos and threes looked everywhere over the grounds, while Albert stood guard, with his fist in uncomfortable proximity to the man s face. " Joel Junk is not to be found," was the report. Albert lowered his fist, and leaned his face toward the man. As the light of the burning building fell on the young man s face, it looked like marble, and was as motion less, except that the blue eyes twitched. For a moment there was no sound but the crackling of the fire. The pro fessors and students formed a large circle around these two central figures. When Albert spoke, it was as follows: " If I was joking with you before, I am in earnest now. Where is Joel Junk?" " I cannot tell you where he is just now." Albert stepped close to the man and whispered something which made the man start. " Where is Joel Junk?" said Albert, in a very high tone of voice. " They have taken him away." "What for?" "Not to harm him. The boy had something that be longed to them, and he would not give it up." PLEASE GIVE ME A PENNY. 277 fe Oh! a wonderful yarn!" Would you hang me like a dog ?" " No; a dog would behave better than you do; but if we should hang you, the world would be much obliged to us, depend upon it," and his great hand swung up over the heads of the people. "Now, who of you will help conduct this gentleman to safe quarters?" The older men pressed forward and thought it best to secure him first. The alarm of fire had reached the city (the University being some five miles from the city). The fire company came clattering up, but unfortunately too late to be of any service so far as extinguishing the fire went. It was creeping on toward morning, and here were all these bareheaded students, without overcoats, who began to feel cool, now that the fire was out. Mr. Burns had his hands tied behind him, and his feet in front of him. He was lifted to a seat on one of the hose-carts. Albert Mayo took a seat beside him; he tied a white handkerchief over his own head which gave him the appearance of an old Irishwoman in a nightcap. The fashion soon spread, and the several hose- carts were loaded with as many students as could be accom modated, and every student had on his nightcap. As it would be some time before sunrise, and before they would arrive in town, Albert proposed to sing, on enteriDg the city, " Please give me a penny, I want to buy some bread." It was in vain the professors expostulated against such un dignified proceedings as riding into the city on hose-carts, with heads tied up in white handkerchiefs, and singing " Please give me a penny, I want to buy some bread." All who know anything about college students understand that, no matter how sad the occasion may be, if there is any sport they are going to have it. Even Mr. Burns, although he was in no enviable mood, could not suppress a smile at the ludicrousness of the situation. "If you can hold your yawp long enough, I should like 278 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. to speak to you," said that gentleman, turning his head toward Albert. The young man looked into Mr. Burns s eyes, and made the following apt quotation from King Richard : " Pleads he in earnest? Look upon his face. His eyes do drop no tear, his words Come from his mouth! Ours from Our breast. He prays but faintly, and would be denied; We pray with heart and soul, and all beside. His weary joints would gladly rise, I know." "Young sprig," said Mr. Burns, "I have no time to spend in quotations. I want to talk of the boy." "What boy?" "Joel, your friend." "Proceed," said Albert, now all attention. "You have done so much, you can do more. Find Joel, tell him to open the package and establish himself at once." Can you tell me where I shall find him ? " "Yes," and the man related the ins and outs of an intricate underground place where Joel would be found. "But don t go without plenty of help; you might pay for it with your life. The jig is up with me. I might as well make a clean breast of it. Now, for what I have told you, I hope you will do me a little favor." "If it is anything within reason, certainly." "Find Madame Junk, and send her to me. "That is Joel s mother, is it not? " "No, she is not Joel s mother; she has only acted in that capacity for a number of years. Will you come in and see me?" "What for?" " I want to talk to you. I like your pluck." " I will think of it." By this time they had reached the city, and the whole line of hose-carts were drawn up in front of the county jail. Albert jumped off, lifted Mr. Burns down; and, FOR THE FUN OF IT 279 placing his back to the back of Mr. Burns, he shouldered him as he would a bag of wheat, amid the laughter of the crowd. "You fool! why do you deliver me in this way?" " For the fun of it. Please, Sir, give me a penny; I want to buy a loaf of bread." Albert made for the door, and began vigorously kicking it. It was soon opened by the official. Albert walked in and dumped his burden. What ! Burns back again ?" Lock him up ! Lock him up 1" said Albert. " Ha ! ha ! old boy! Before you undertake another job of this sort, find out how much muscle there is in the house. Don t count chickens or geese where there may be strong mules." Albert slapped his breast pocket. " It is all safe here ;" lifted his great hand, and said: " Let justice be done, though the heavens fall." He swung himself out, and his long legs loped off at a brisk pace. Such of the students as had homes in the city took such as did not home with them. The next morning the city papers contained a graphic description of the burning build ing, and the catching of the robber by a stalwart young student, and the dragging off of Joel. The press informed the readers that the robber was caught by young Mayo, bound hand and foot; and that the young man brought the robber a distance of ten miles on his back. Newsboys were everywhere crying, "Morning Express!" "Morning Gazette!" "All about the fire! and a young man that backed a robber ten miles!" " Morning Gazette, Sir; only a dime?" Albert repaired to his home; took breakfast, and his hat. He went up-stairs to make a call at the home of his canes; he took from the closet a dozen or more, and selected the one he could depend upon. It was a good heavy walking- stick, not likely to break with the weight of a man s body. Albert was unprincipled enough to suppose that he knew where there were heads aching for an outward application 2 So MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. of this faithful staff. And it was his intention not to keep them waiting long. Once out upon the walk, at every other step he brought this cane down upon the flagstones with a vim that would have cracked a black-walnut. Albert was not long in finding the Chief of Police, to whom he re lated a portion of what Burns had told him, reserving that part which would make it necessary for him to accompany the posse. There would be no dilly-dallying. Joel would be released at once. There would be no smelling around for a week or so, for the purpose of impressing upon the public a wonderful achievement, for which said public, out of sheer gratitude to municipal authority, would throw in a large perquisite. The young Hercules would take the authority into his own hands. If the press had allowed him to back a criminal ten miles bareheaded, and without stopping to take a drink of water, they will allow him to do more. CHAPTEK XXXIV. RESCUED AND RESTORED TO LIFE THE MOURNERS- A FUNERAL BY MOONLIGHT. THE Chief of Police, with three trusty men, and Albert, set out for that obscure part of the city which had been described to Albert as being the place where they would find Joel. "When they arrived on the spot, there was an old tumble-down building, that was not inhabited by anything. They looked in the windows; there was nothing to be seen but mildew on the walls, and some straw on the floor. The windows and doors were fastened securely. They were not long in effecting an entrance at one of the windows. In the back yard was a shed, inclosed upon three sides. This they walked around several times. At last Albert discovered a plank that seemed loose; he stooped and pulled it from it place. A hole was dug out about three feet in depth . He could see to the bottom. Of course there was nothing. The rest of the planks that made the floor were all fastened down with heavy spikes. Albert and the Chief exchanged looks. The Chief said we must have an axe, and a man was sent for it. "While he was gone, they began to examine more closely. Albert ran his cane in under the floor. You see the hole where they descended must be five feet from this point." It was totally dark. They could not see it even with the aid of a light. " Here is the nest, you can be sure," said Albert; " and if the foxes are in we are lucky." 282 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. "Foxes or polecats, we will have them," returned the Chief. By this time the man had returned with the axe. " Let me have it," said Albert; and he rained sledge hammer blows that made the slivers fly in every direction. The perspiration ran from the young Hercules brow. He wielded the axe like an old woodsman, and one by one the planks gave way beneath his blows. The men frequently proposed to relieve him; but no! he could not wait. Hector dragging Achilles three times around the walls of Troy was not done in more deadly hate than he struck those blows. At last the five feet were gained, and disclosed an aper ture of three feet square; large enough to have lowered a combination safe. Albert seized his faithful staff, and was the first to descend. The Chief and his men followed. The room they found themselves in was dark; they made a light, and proceeded to examine it. There were a small table, a broken chair, and an empty barrel; that was all. The soil was sandy, and full of small pebble-stones. Albert took his cane, and began at one end of the wall, and struck it every few inches. In this way he came upon what seemed to be aboard; it was covered with the real soil, and pebble stones were interspersed here and there, making it look like solid earth. " This way, gentlemen," and Albert laid his shoulder against it. The place fell in with a crash, and Albert walked in over it. As in the other, there was no live thing to be seen. Beside the wall was a high bin, such as farmers build in their barns for grain. They took the light, and walked around it; it was filled with clothing coats, hats, and boots. Albert plunged in his long arms, lifted out armfuls, and threw them on the earth. Once his hand came in contact with a dead body. He started back, but bade the man bring the light. OVERCOME WITH JOY. 283 Great God! there lay Joel, dead! His feet and hands were tied, and there was a gag in his mouth. Albert lifted him out, and took the gag from his mouth. "Quick, men, quick, for God s sake! give me something to restore him." "But he is dead," said the Chief. " No, no; he is not." One of the officers happened to have a flask of brandy, which he handed to Albert, who poured it down Joel s throat, and chafed his brow. " Untie his feet, men; the blood cannot circulate; rub his limbs; take off his shoes. There, there, he is alive!" Albert was so overcome with joy that the tears flowed. He hugged Joel in his strong arms. He ran from one side of the room to the other, bearing Joel at every step. He placed his great hand on Joel s forehead, and stroked back his hair. "Don t try to speak, Joe; don t say one word until you are stronger. Run, men, run, and bring something to eat and drink, and a carriage quick." Albert ordered as if he were at the head of the entire municipal force, and they were bound to obey him. Albert would not allow Joel to do more than nod his head for yes, and shake it for no. He tended him with as much care as a mother does her first-born. He stood him on his feet. He gave him another swallow of the liquor. "Come now, Joe, try and walk a step. There, lean on me so;" and his arm was round Joel, who feebly dragged his feet along. Albert did not know the extent of Joel s injuries. The men soon returned with hot soup, which Albert spooned up to Joel s mouth, as if he were an infant. He then took him up bodily, and bore him out of this underground place into the open air. He placed him in the carriage, and took a seat beside him. The Chief accompanied them. Albert bade the driver make all possible speed to his residence, the 284 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. Chief all the time looking anxiously at Joel. He was won dering in his mind how long it would be before Joel could give a detailed account of the proceedings. Every now and then a suppressed groan escaped Joel s lips, which told that he was suffering. When the carriage arrived before the door of the Mayo mansion, Albert informed the detective that he would learn as soon as possible from Joel all that had happened. Albert lifted Joel out, and bore him up the long flight of steps that led to the street-door. He rang the bell so violently, that it gave the inmates to understand it was no ordinary call. "When Albert entered the hall, Joel had fainted dead away. "Mother! mother! Call mother;" and Albert ran to his mother s room, and laid Joel on her bed. He flew to the dresser, and in the twinkling of an eye that good lady s cologne greatly diminished. At last, that good mother ap peared upon the scene. ""Why, my son, what is the matter?" Send for a doctor, and make a room ready for our friend." The good mother flew hither and thither. " Oh, Albert! I am done for." "Not a bit of it, Joe." Albert took Joel up again, and carried him to the room made ready for him by the good mother. She followed closely in her son s steps. Now the palm of her hand was stretched forth to support Joel s head, and now his feet. With her feelings she bore the weight of Joel s body. She shook up the pillow upon which Joel s head was to lie, beckoned Albert to the other side of the room, held a whis pered conversation of a few minutes, glided out, and returned with an armful of white goods. Albert began undressing Joel. The good mother had to assist in removing the coat, a task they seemed never likely to accomplish, for the least move about the upper part of the body caused him such pain. A NEW ENGLAND WOMAN. 285 "Albert, I think some of my ribs are broken;" at which the good mother grew white, and with tears in her eyes said: "Have courage, my dear boy; you are with your friends; everything shall be done for you." She did not trust her self to say more. At last the troublesome garment was removed, and the good mother retired. By this time, the doctor arrived and proceeded to examine him in true professional style, thumping him here and sounding him there. He was not long in discovering that two ribs were broken; the skin was raked from the shoulder-blades, and the flesh of the arms was entirely blue. It was a wonder to Albert how Joel could have endured to have been handled so roughly. Now came the painful process of setting Joel to rights. A surgeon was sent for, and the two began their work. A fever sat in, and Joel s life was in danger. Albert was about to go in quest of Madame Junk, when there was a violent ring at the door, and a servant announced Madame Junk. There was no ceremony of introduction. She rushed wildly to the bedside of Joel, who lay unconscious. She stooped and kissed his forehead, raised her eyes and hands toward heaven, and her lips moved in prayer. In those whispered utterances she was asking God in His goodness to spare the boy, and it was responded to by a fervent amen from Albert and his good mother. Why do we speak of Mrs. Mayo as Albert s good mother? Because it is the highest title we can give her. It is the highest title vouch safed by God to woman. There is no great grown, true boy in all the world that does not agree with us in this. Mother to him is a holy word. It is the first word he learns to lisp, and most sacredly does he cherish that name for all eternity. Albert s good mother was a New England woman of that type which is an honor to our country. She was round, and, as Captain Marryatt would say, as " plump as a gooseberry." Her florid face was bright and smiling, the 286 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. picture of health; just the sort of a woman to give birth to strong and hardy sons. Not necessarily all physical, for nature, in her wise distribution, had balanced the scales finely. There was a harmony about our good mother that made her lovable to all. The door of her large heart was opened to the poor and oppressed. She loved her son as only a mother can love. She had looked with pride upon him from a little boy in dresses up to the present time. She was proud of his daring, outspoken nature. She was pleased that, as a man, no conventional rules or social caste could govern him. It was the right and just he lived by. When he was a very little fellow he would play with the washerwoman s son, no matter how much his father be labored him on the impropriety of the thing; the washer woman s son was a boy, and he was a boy. Albert thought a boy is a boy, any how. He never could see how one good boy was any better than another good boy. "While Joel lay ill with a fever we will not attempt to tell all he passed through, but wait for him to recover and tell the story himself. Samuel Blower was ill also, and that past recovery. We have promised our bachelor friends that Betsy should be a widow, and we will keep our word if we have to give Sam uel a whole paper of pins at one potion. Poor Madame Junk ! Her attention was pretty well divided between the two houses. It was now that Mary had an opportunity to return to Madame Junk the kindness which that lady had bestowed upon her. Mary was domiciled with the Blowers. She prepared different little nice things for the fastidious taste of Samuel, who scolded her at will; and it would have been unbearable, but that it was known that he must soon render up his earthly accounts, and there is no heart so obdurate that it will not soften at the approach of death. Six weeks is a long time to be confined to one s bed so thought Joel. He was convalescent now; he could sit for an hour in an easy-chair. Many and many a night did Al- CRAPE ON THE DOOR. 287 bert sit by Joel s bedside until the gray dawn of morning, then to be relieved by his good mother, who glided in like an animated feather. You could see her bending her head over Joel, listening to his breathing, and placing her thumb and forefinger on his pulse, and with anxious face counting the breathings. Once Miss Busy called while Joel was delirious. She shook her head doubtfully, and went away with great tears rolling down over her bonnet ties. There was crape on the door at the Blower mansion. Betsy s mourning was being made ready. There was a hushed feeling throughout the house. The inmates were speaking in low tones, as if fearing to disturb the dead. The undertaker s hearse was in front of the house, and Madame Junk was conducting the arrangements for the funeral, which was to take place at two o clock P.M., at the residence of the deceased. There were no mourners except the widow, Madame Junk and Mary. It is not supposable that the latter could come under the head of mourners, but she would do for black filling, and with this view she was ar rayed in black from top to toe. Had it been in her power, Madame Junk would have enlisted Miss Busy in the mourn ing role, so anxious was she that the descendants of Oliver Cromwell should present an imposing appearance upon the occasion of giving back to mother earth one of their family. Good Dr. S would be the officiating clergyman. Mad ame Junk, in giving him a few notes upon which to touch during the discourse, spoke eloquently of Samuel s good qualities, and touched lightly upon the bad ones, saying: " Poor man; he was not born right." In the midst of this conversation, Betsy appeared upon the scene with black bonnet, long black veil, and red eyes. " Jane, I would like to speak with you a moment." Jane stepped to the next room with her. " Jane, don t you think if Samuel had been conscious he would have requested us to have the haversack buried with 288 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. him ? "We could easily place it at his feet. I think it would please him to take it along." Madame Junk looked at her sister and actually doubted her sanity. " I will attend to that." " Do; I would like to have everything done to please him." The funeral passed off much as such occasions do. A few neighbors came who only ride in a carriage at funerals. That night there was another funeral. There was only one undertaker and one mourner, one minister and one sexton; and Madame Junk embodied them all. The full moon was high up in the heavens, and its round face re flected a benign light upon a benevolent action. Madame Junk was pressing her foot upon a bright, new spade, and lifting spadefuls of fresh earth and piling it beside a little hole that was fast growing larger from her vigorous kicking of the spade. Her under-lip was held fast by her upper teeth. At last the grav r e was deep enough; the black haver sack was laid at the bottom and the little mound of soil again disappeared. Each spadeful was trod down by the weight of Madame Junk s body. "When the last spadeful was deposited, she lay down the spade and began a vigor ous tramping. She worked as if she thought this house hold horror might come out of its grave and stalk through the house again. Then she stooped, and with her long, slim fingers she placed the green sod above it. There, the haversack is planted in the Widow Blower s back yard. Let us hope no haversack-tree will spring up, and some morn ing, when the widow looks out of her window, startle her with ripe haversacks. If she did not lose her reason on thus beholding it, she would pull it up, root and branch. Thus passed away a man whose life was one long com plaint. His first word in the morning was a complaint, and the last one at night. If he took a glass of water in the morning, there was always an invisible bug in it; at meal- ONE LONG COMPLAINT. 289 times there was a bone in the meat (a flaw that was not to be found in his country); between meals he filled up the time by complaining- about the weather and the ignorance of the American people. Madame Junk would have enjoyed doing something right handsome in the way of an obituary, but she scorned to make false statements or set forth virtues the man did not possess. CHAPTEE XXXY. A SCENE IN PRISON THE POOR EDITOR THAT WAS NOT BORN RIGHT. MRS. GLEWER has chosen from the shopmen a com petent foreman, whose superintendence far excels Tom in his best days. Kate receives frequent letters from Tom, whose health is poor. Every week a letter comes, written in round, schoolboy hand. Kate s heart warms to ward the writer, and she yearns with true sympathy and motherly feeling to place her arms around the boy; her answers are written at length, and with the care of an edu cator. There is nothing indigestible for a weak mind. George is a young man in years and size, but in mind he is a boy. However, he is coming on nicely in his education, and, through his beloved adopted mother, will make a use ful citizen; and one good, useful citizen is worth a dozen shooting stars. To be a peaceful, law-abiding citizen, and^ vote the right ticket, is an accomplishment that few men attain. Kate had more than once given Mary money and clothing, but it was always done indirectly. Madame Junk had left Mary with the Widow Blower, and had herself returned to Miss Busy s. Had Madame Junk realized the disastrous result of such proceedings, she would have acted differently. The atmosphere of the devil s nest is not calculated to pro mote the pure growth of half-reformed fallen angels . Naught but the presence of God can save them. Mark that, benev olent readers, who essay a reform. After lifting the devil s victims from a slough of brimstone, do not return them to THE MILK OF HUMAN KINDNESS. 2 9. 1 the vicinity where the poisonous vapor arises, lest a sniff of the same awakens an old appetite, and all of our inilk of human kindness has to be strained over again, thus interfer ing with the cream. Old age is creeping upon Madame Junk a thing we re gret; for she is not so comfortably settled as we anticipate having her. Her cares and duties seem to increase rather than diminish. Here is her duty in a certain branch of Miss Busy s establishment; here is a man in jail waiting for her to come and see him; here is Joel, who is not quite recov ered, and whom she is inclined to look in upon frequently; here is Mary, whom she must pray for and encourage; here is her sister, who is a new widow, and requires more or less condolence; here is her European correspondence; here is a poor Mexican woman with a terrific tumor in her side, and her son who is all rags. Madame Junk must haul over her bag of antiquated coats, and find something for the poor fellow to wear. If you expect a woman, fifty years old, to do more than this, you are unreasonable. Miss Busy had adjusted a fresh knot of ribbon at her throat, and had altogether made herself prim for several successive months. In spite of all this Mr. Stanly had de parted for Europe, and the two husbands appeared between the eyes again. Save a slight drawing down of the corners of the mouth, which gave her face a more bitter expression, Miss Busy was herself again. It may be as well for us, while Mr. Stanly is crossing the vasty deep, to settle mat ters at home. With this view we will take our readers to jail. The fastidious gentlemanly forger who can boast of many names, but not one of them safe to live by, is seated in his narrow cell. "What a change five years have wrought in this once handsome man! He has grown wondrously old. His peacock pride of personal beauty has fallen. Yet this man, so fallen, has moved with grace in choice society. He has paid court to fair women; fair women have smiled on him and felt flattered by his courtly atten- 2 92 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. tions. If nature had been lavish in outer adornments, she had given him an over-supply of rascality. It seems a pity that there should be such a contradiction; for this villain was not without a touch of the noble in his make-up. It is seldom that we meet with a man who so verifies the words of Shakspeare, where that bard says: " A man may smile and smile, And be a villain still." This man is in no way deserving of our sympathy; still it is impossible for us to see him without feeling a regret that he is to be punished. This feeling is a maudlin sentiment, and a disgrace to justice. " Good morning, Jane! Good God! I thought you would never come! What has happened?" said the man, stretching out his hand. "What has happened?" said Madame Junk, repeating his words, while trying to collect her thoughts. She held up her head, which she had dropped upon entering the cell. "How changed you are, Kalph!" She spoke in a mournful tone, as if bewailing the loss of something. " Yes, I am changed more than my looks denote." " What can I do for you now ?" said Madame Junk. "Not much. Since I have been here this time these hounds have been more insolent than there was any call for. I happened to have very little money about me this time, and it has been totally impossible to procure the least little extra. I haven t seen a paper; don t know of anything that is going on outside. Jane, I am actually disgusted with the smallness of human nature. Why, as long as I had a dime, and could fee them, I could get almost anything I wanted." While the man was giving this information, Madame Junk was fumbling about in her pocket, and brought to the sur face four dimes, which she handed to the man, saying, " It is not much; but take it." The man burst into a hearty laugh, and only ceased to begin again; it seemed to strike him as so comical. A DEATH IN THE FAMILY. 293 "No, no! my dear, darling former self. Put up your widow s mite. It is true I am changed, but not so much as that. Poll, woman! do you think I am divested of every particle of old-time gallantry ? I have money, and I am going to give it to you every blessed dollar of it. You can establish a prison reform, if you wish. What I have to say can be said in a few words. I am not Joel s father. I sup pose you have learned that before ?" "No; we have had a death in our family, and my time has been taken up." " Death! Who ?" said the man, with staring eyes. " Samuel Blower; my sister s husband." "Oh! is that all? You gave me a start. I thought it might be Joel." " Joel has been at death s door, though." " He will not die, will he ?" " No, he is out of danger now." " Good! But you do not seem astonished that I am not his father." "Why should I be? You have deceived so much, and have led such a bad life, I am surprised at nothing. Ralph, it is time you made your peace with God. Like myself, you are no longer young." "Jane, if you could know what is passing in my mind, you would not feel to reproach me. To me, there is some thing so cowardly in asking God s mercy after a long life of sin. If I am to be punished in the next world (if there is one), I will bear it like a soldier, and accept the punish ment I have so well earned. In my mind, there is something so despicably mean in sneaking into kingdom-come like a truant schoolboy, with, Please, Sir, don t whip me this time; I did not mean to stay out so long. You are good, Jane, because it pleases you; it is a part of your nature. If I were to be good, I should work devilish hard for it. It is not so easy for a bad man to be good as you may think." "But it brings its reward, and pays much better in the end," said Madame Junk. 2Q4 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " Well, you cannot make a hawk into a dove." "But they may be tamed and made quite companion able/ 3 " Yes; but the wild hawk nature will crop out at times, and the hawk only waits a favorable chance to eat up the chickens. A few words more, Jane, and we will dismiss the subject of religion. You, of course, believe firmly in the immortality of the soul?" I do," said Madame Junk, casting her eyes heavenward. " Well, allowing your faith is the true faith, and if prayers are answered by God, it is just as well to pray for a disem bodied soul as for one in the body. When I no longer cumber this earth, pray for me, Jane; that is, if you have faith in your own prayers. If we are immortal, and the better part of our nature only comes forth to be weighed, mine will be found greatly wanting; and when I am over yonder, or down yonder, "pointing with his finger toward the earth, " if God will give me half a chance I will fill up the measure. Why I ask you to pray for me then, is this: If your faith is true, the prayer of the righteous availeth much/ I ask it on the same plan that I would extend to you a boost, provided you were pulling up a devilish hard hill, with a pack on jour back. I want to work, you know; I intend to work. If there is another country, or bourne, as Shakspeare puts it, a little friendly push in the back will help me to keep better time." " Ralph, I cannot hear you talk so irreverently." " I mean no irreverence, Jane. But when a fellow thinks it is not long at best before a fellow sets out for a bourne whence no traveler returns/ the question naturally arises, What sort of work will he be set at when he gets there ? You know, Jane, I never did like manual labor," and he glanced at his soft, white hands. Madame Junk raised her large, blue eyes, but not a mus cle of the face moved to betray that she intended satire. (t Perhaps your work will be to build fires." THE ONLY WOMAN HE EVER RESPECTED. 295 For a moment the man s face was covered with shame. He soon recovered his urbane manner, and said : " Jane, that was the unldndest cut of all. You should not strike a man when he is down." "Or burn one while he sleeps," said Madame Junk, quickly. " I have done neither. As I have not followed building fires for a profession in this life, I hope I shall not be expected to learn the trade in the next." "I should think, by what I can learn, you have some talent as an engineer," said Madame Junk, with immovable front, and that peculiar ring in her voice which showed she was stirred from the depths. Again the man winced. " Ealph, the partaker is as bad as the thief. Balph, I only pray you have not built for yourself an everlasting fire." " If I have, I shall trust to your prayers to quench it." " Trust not to impossible things, but work while there is yet time. Work for everlasting life, and the forgiveness of your God." The man arose from the cot on which he was sitting, and knelt at Madame Junk s feet. He took her hand between his own. " Jane, I feel that we shall never meet again. "Will you forgive me? I have been a bitter blight to your life. I am an old man now we are both old. "We were united in youth, much to your sorrow and disgrace. Say you forgive me, and I ask no favors of God, this world or the next." "I forgive you, and will pray for you. I shall see you again. I shall live to see you a better man. Bow not to me, Balph, but to your God." The man arose from his kneeling posture, still retaining Madame Junk s hand. " Jane, there is one thing I wish to say to you before we part. I wish that you would love to know it. I wish that you would sometimes think of it, and cherish it as the one fact of my life. You are the only woman I ever profoundly 296 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. respected. You are the only woman I have ever looked upon as true, and I have known not a few. You are the only woman who ever enlisted the better part of my nature; and if there have been some good thoughts in my life of crime, those thoughts have been of you. Had I been guided by your truth, I should not be here. When I die, it shall be in thinking well of you. You have ever held all of me that was worth having. You have known much sorrow through me. Forgive me. It is all I ask." " Why, Kalph, I forgive you; ask God to forgive you." "No, no, Jane. Farewell! May your last days be the best." The turnkey is coming. The man had turned his face to the wall, and his form shook. The key turned in the lock, and Madame Junk was walking down the corridor behind the jailer, whispering a prayer; the only words we can catch are, "May our Lord Jesus soften the heart of the obdurate sinner. 3 * The next evening the papers contained a detailed account of a suicide which had taken place in the county jail the previous night; how Mr. Burns was found hanging by the neck, having constructed a halter out of his shirt. The press said he was a fine-looking man, with gentlemanly bearing, and it was a pity that one so gifted should come to such an end. A few of the daily papers made quite a story out of it by coupling with it what they could learn about Madame Junk s visits to the prisoner. As Madame Junk was returning home from where she had been to order a supply of provisions for Miss Busy s establishment, she was not a little startled to hear a small snub-nosed boy cry ing: "Evening Express! All about Madame Junk and the robber that hung himself in jail last night! All for a dime, Sir!" It is needless to say that she called the boy over and took a paper; and when she saw her name in great startling capitals, she said: "Poor editor! Poor editor! Was not born right. " It is impossible to tell just what Madame CONVICTS AND WHITE ROSES. 297 Junk s feelings were on this occasion; if she wept, none knew it. But it is safe to affirm that she did regret deeply that the man had ushered himself into the presence of his God unredeemed. She applied for the body and received it, and gave a Christian burial to the man to whom years ago she gave her heart. A reader of epitaphs will find the following lines chiseled upon a plain white slab : ERECTED BY J. J., of "O GOD! WITHIN THY FOLD CALL THIS UNREDEEMED SOUL." It is but fitting that a woman who had prayed the best half of her life for a man should continue to pray for him even after his death, and do it from force of habit, if nothing more. From out the grave flourished a white rose tree, bearing full-leaved and fragrant roses, with plenteous buds that were ready to open and take the place of those whose leaves were from time to time falling from the stem. It is evident that God, in his good grace, smiled upon the roses even if the sinner beneath them did inhabit a region far too warm for the propagation of white roses. CHAPTER XXXVI. FOUND IN LIFE AND LOST IN DEATH. i 4 1\ /T ADEMOISELLE, the Earl will take no denial. Ye .l.V_L would pity him; he hae suffered much. Ye are so loik his dear lost one. Kenna he nae ye history? Muckle it would be worth ye while, dear lady. He be an auld Scotch Earl with nae bonnie bairn." " Tell your Lord I will see him." "Thanks, bonnie lady. He has nae one thing to cheer him since he wa in America." " Was the Earl ever in America?" " Once. It wa a bit o louck fur him when he lost his bride and bairn, going away with a fever in the wild region." " Indeed! I shall be pleased to hear much more about it. America is my home; it is a long way from here." " Ye wa nae born in America?" Sternna dropped her head, and, after a moment, replied, " I do not know the land of my birth; but I think my birthplace is England." " Nae, nae; its nae England, but bonnie Scotland." " Why are you so confident I am of Scotch birth?" asked Sternna, not a little annoyed at the old man s persistency over her being Scotch; for in all those months, when he had conversed with her at least twice a week, each time he had managed to let her know he believed her Scotch. This old man had sat for Sternna as a model for St. Bar tholomew. Hence this conversation. " Will ye gae to America ?" THE LIVING PICTURE OF A DEAD PAST. 299 " Soon," replied the young lady. " Will ye come bock to France ? " " I hope to, and visit Italy." " Will ye nae go to Scotland?" said the man in a tone that seemed his feelings were wounded over the slight his country had received. " Muckle there be to make fine pic tures there." " Yes; I should like to go to Scotland also." The old man we have had occasion to refer to is a Scot by birth, a Scotchman in heart, in looks, and everything else pertaining to Scotland. He is an old and esteemed servant to the Earl of Bc Clue. Sternna had painted, him as St. Bartholomew, and as Douce David Deans, as described by Walter Scott in The Heart of Mid-Lothian," with his long, white hair and honest face. She so associated the author s character of David Deans with this old man, that more than once her fancy had led her to attempt something more than a study. She would have his head in a composition, in addition to Jeannie and Enie. If she had been watching this old man from an artistic standpoint, he had been look ing at her from other reasons. He had been heard to ex claim more than once: "Weal, now; ha loike she be!" The Earl had been called to Scotland unexpectedly. He left this old man to look after his house in Paris. Sternna passed him every morning on her road to the studio. She thought, cc If I could only transport that figure upon canvas !" She looked at him with a covetous eye, and saw only the painted picture of the Cowfeeder of Enoch. He looked at her, and saw the living picture of a dead past. One morning Sternna determined to ask him to sit as a model for her. He was passing with a basket of fruit on his arm. " Good morning, Sir! Are you not the man that came to my door one day and asked me if I were Scotch?" " Dinne ye know me, then?" 3OO MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " Yes, Sir! I remember your face very well; it is not one I shall be likely to forget. You are Scotch, are you not?" " Weal, lady, I am thot." " I would so much like to make a sketch of you." " Say ye o me, lady? It would be pure honor I should gaye." " Could you come to my studio two hours every day for a week?" The old man seemed lost in reverie; he stood with up lifted hands and wide, staring eyes. " Be ye the dead come bock? "Weal, how loik! how loik she be! Speak to me ag in, lady; I dinna know more." " Will you allow me to make a sketch of you?" said Sternna, raising her voice, at a loss to know if the old man s mind was wandering, or if he was deaf. " I will come, my bonnie Scotch lady; and blessings on ye! So loik! so loik! I canna tell if it be her o na." "In two hours," said Sternna, holding her watch, and pointing to the hands as if it was necessary to show him the time in order to make him understand. He passed, muttering to himself, So loik ! so loik !" while Sternna walked on, thinking, Poor old man ! I understand now why he thought I was Scotch. He has lost a daughter whom I remind him of. Poor old man; he has doubtless partially lost his reason." Again her fancy ran out, and she saw David Deans and his daughter Effie. Then her own orphaned condition sank upon her heart. In that moment she yearned for a father s love and protection. It would not do for her to dwell too much upon this. It would detract from her art, and that must be father, mother, brother, and sister. It should be her world, and one in which she must forever dwell. At the end of two hours the old man was seated in Sternna s studio, and the artist was studying the lines of the old man s face. They spoke rarely, for she liked that JUST THE EXPRESSION. 30 1 settled grief should come out in the face of her David Deans. The artist s soul was oblivious to the woman s nature. She wanted no pleased expression; and could she have said aught that would have made a more grieved look, she would have done it; and when the study was com pleted, then, and not until then, would the sympathizing soul of the woman come forth to say, * Why so sorry ? " Day by day the old man sat as a study, worshiping in silence that which he thought had long since perished, leaving him naught but memory. Every day he thought he would ask questions; he could not bear the disappointment he feared might follow his questions. The fourth day he ventured to say: " Ha ye a mother, lady " " No, my good friend." " Kenna ye remember nae one ?" "No, not one; a good woman in America cared for me when I was a child, an infant, I may say; and she does not know my parentage." The old man s face gave a twitch, and settled into abject disappointment; just the expression the artist was anxious to catch. With parted lips and intense working of the spirit, Sternna hardly breathed, so desirous was she to place that expression upon the face of her David Deans. " There, there; that will do for this time. One more sit ting will finish it." At this moment they were interrupted. Sternna excused herself and said, "Wait here, I wish to talk with you." She ushered Carrie into an adjoining room, and the old man was left alone. He breathed more free; he began looking about the room, at the many studies on the wall; he walked before Sternna s easel; he looked at his own face upon the canvas. There seemed to be some thing in his mind he could not fathom. His eyes wandered everywhere. A small gold locket lay on the table near Sternna s easel. It was opened; he stooped down to look at it; raised his head, rubbed his eyes, stooped over the 302 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. table again; looked long, and examined it closely. When lie raised his head again, his lips were white; a pallidness settled over his face, and he reeled back to his seat; his lips moved, but no sound came over them. The old man sat so still, so motionless, that when the lady returned, all the woman in her nature cried out, " You are ill, my poor friend. How selfish in me to keep you sitting so long." She flew to the next room; brought a glass of wine, and held it to the old man s lips. " Drink, drink! and you will feel better." "I am nae ill, me bonnie lady. I ha these turns some what. "Will ye ha me to-morrow ? " " But you will not go now? Sit and rest, and I will order refreshments." " Nae, nae; tis not the loikes o me thot ken be eating with ye again." The old man looked at the lady with one of those dreamy looks that made it hard to determine if his mind was wan dering or not. All at once he seemed to recollect himself, and bowed, " I woll be at ye ladyship s service to-morrow," and was gone. The evening of the same day the old man made this dis covery, the Earl of Bc Clue returned to France. Fatigued with travel, he had stretched himself upon a couch waiting the entrance of his favorite servant, with whom he wished to converse concerning matters at home. While the Earl is waiting the coming of his valet, we will take the opportu nity to refer to his personal appearance. We should say his age was fifty; of medium size; dark hair and eyes, and high, broad brow but by no means a handsome man, but with a courtly distinguished bearing that would have done honor to a monarch. The expression of his face was at times so kindly that it looked feminine. Again, when he was speaking upon the systems of government he became a very lion. His face and form changed with the thoughts of his brain, or the emotions of his soul. The Earl s inner life had left its impress on his face. GREAT ASTONISHMENT. 303 Morally, intellectually, and in a large degree socially, the Earl of Bc Clue stood above the world, and yet he dwelt in its very midst. No man in all Scotland had the interest of the poor classes so much at heart as this selfsame Earl. And yet the mass of the people did not so understand it. "Ah, Bory." "Weel, now my Laird, welcome bock again; and how fares Scotland?" "Very much the same as when we left her; and how is Bory?" "Weel, my Laird, I hae summat to say ye." " I knew you would have," said the Earl. "Before you begin to talk, give orders that I am not to be disturbed. Then return, lock the door, and you can tell me all your grievances, and I suppose they are not a few," said the Earl, with a laugh. The Earl turned upon his side, tucked the cushion more compactly under his head, and settled himself preparatory to what he thought would be a full account of the ins and outs of his household. Bory soon returned, turned the key in the lock, and stood in the presence of his master. " Draw that chair near to me, Bory, and sit down. Now tell me how you have been troubled." " Muckle there be, my Laird." " "Well, well, Bory; let us have it, whatever it is." Bory looked up at the high windows and the doors, and all about the room; he leaned forward in his seat until his face was within six inches of his master s. " Da nae me Lady hae a fine gold case with me Laird s and Lady s faces in? Da na ga her such o one the day she wa j thy bonnie bride?" " I did, Bory; but it was lost at the time of her death, while we were traveling across the American continent." " It be found again. I found it to-day, me Laird." The Earl raised himself upon his elbow, and looked Bory fair in the face. 304 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. "Yes, me Laird, I bae seen the sweet face of me Lady again to-day; I hae seen her alive, too!" Now the Earl began to think his valet was becoming de mented. " I hae nae lost me reason, me Laird; tis true!" The Earl arose to his feet, and with a quiet demeanor laid his hand upon the shoulder of Rory, and said: " Rory, do not wait to prepare me for further disclosures, but tell me all you have learned at once." " Sit thee down, me Laird, and hold thy heart." The Earl obeyed, and Rory told him all. How the young lady had painted him; how the first time he ever saw her months ago he was struck with the perfect looks of his Lady. He told it all, every word and action. The Earl arose quickly. " What hour is it, Rory?" " Sit thee down, me gude Laird; tis well on to one o clock. I go to-morrow; and then, me Laird, ye can sit by and say yoursel . Ye hae nae the strength, me gude Laird." " Rory, to-morrow may be too late!" " Nae, nae, me Laird; the bird woll nae fly away to-night, but will remain with ye forever and a day. So loik! so loik she be." " Rory, this cannot be. I have searched the world around. Your fancy has gone wild. No clue, no trace, could I ever find." " "Weal, me gude Laird, wait him content till the mor row; then if the morrow brings ye not the fairest daughter that e er the sun of Scotland shone on, then my name is not Rory." " Does the lady look Scotch?" " Nithing but the best blude flows in the bonnie bairn s veins. " " "Well, Rory, I must rest content until to-morrow." The Earl s slumbers were fitful, and if he dreamed it was THE MEETING. 305 of a wife and children two; one a fair daughter, so like her gentle mother at her age, it took him back to youth. Ever and anon he heard the voice of old Rory, who spoke in dialect of old Scotland: " So loik! so loik she be/ Meanwhile, if our readers could look into the dreams of our waif upon life s troubled sea, they would find she, too, had her mind painting a phantasmagoria of the future. If " coming events cast their shadows before/ the incomings and outgoings of thought pervade the atmosphere. Those who are most susceptible of understanding are receivers of this thought-laden atmosphere. It is only another name for progress; only another name for a higher life. If we could prove it, we would make the assertion that it is the language of heaven. Next morning the old valet was at the door of Sternna s studio at the very moment appointed. " Good morning, my friend! you are punctual." The old man stood with trembling limbs; he rolled the brim of his hat to the crown and back again; he twisted it into a rope, and altogether seemed so agitated, it was pain ful to behold him. " You are not well," said Sternna. * " If you do not feel like sitting for me to finish the picture, we can defer it until another day." " Nae, nae, tis not thot, me bonnie lady. Me Laird is waiting to see the picture." " Most assuredly bring him up; he is welcome." The old man seemed relieved, and in a moment returned, accompanied by the Earl of Bc Clue. The Earl s inten tion w r as not to be moved, even if his hopes were realized; he would conduct the whole affair with the utmost quiet; he had prepared himself, and would betray no emotion. The Earl did not realize the overwhelming feeling which would ingulf him when he stepped within the precincts of this domain. The eyes of the father and daughter met. His eyelids 20 306 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. grew white. Had tha dead come back to life? For a mo ment he was speechless; but recovering himself, he said: " I beg pardon, lady; I would like to see the picture you are at work on." " Please, Sir, step this way; it is a better light from here;" and Sternna motioned him to the place referred to. The Earl s attention was so unequally divided between Sternna and the picture as not to be perceived by that lady. So frequently he turned his head toward the girl with an intense longing expression an expression dignified by rev erence, so pure, high, and holy as to be unmistakable. There was a blessing written all over his face; there was something saintly about the Earl. In that moment the old valet looked on with awe, and Sternna, for the first time in her life, was looking upon the only man that she ever wished she could call father. The position was growing awkward. At last the Earl, regaining something of his wonted com placency, remarked, " You are from America, I understand?" "Yes, Sir; I have passed my life there, with the exception of the last five years I have been in France." " I should not take you to be an American; you very much remind me of a Scotch lady." " So your valet has been telling me. However, I think I am of English extraction." The Earl seemed lost in thought. There swept over his face the emotions of years. "You must pardon me for this agitation. My remem brance of America is a sad one." Sternna waited and looked for further explanation. When the Earl had mastered his emotion, he went on : " I lost my beloved wife and son, and an infant daughter was spirited away while I lay, as was supposed, dead." Sternna s eyes grew large, the color on her cheek came and went; there was a nervous movement about the rnouth. " Have you have you And she seemed unable to go on with what she wished to say. THE LOCKET. 307 " You would ask me if I have ever made an effort to find my daughter. I have sought years for some clue, but sought in vain. To be frank with you, my only motive in calling on you to-day was to learn something of your history. Your likeness to my wife is a marvelous one. Rory told me you were so strangely alike, and that you had no father or mother, that you knew of." " No, Sir; I have no relatives." " Have you no token by which you could be identified ?" " Nothing but a locket, which contains two pictures." "Would you allow me to look at it?" At first Sternna hesitated. No strange hand had ever held it; no strange eye had ever looked upon it. The Earl noticing the hesitation, drew from his pocket a small gold case, richly set with diamonds, and pressed his thumb upon the spring; the lid flew back and disclosed two pictures. He turned the case toward Sternna, and said: "This is my wife, at your age." Sternna grew white as death, and would have fallen, had not the Earl caught her. " My dear child," said the Earl, in kindly tones; " tell me why you are thus moved ?" Sternna, with great effort, composed herself. "There, on the table, near the easel go, look it is like my own." The Earl moved to the table, picked up the locket, looked long and ardently at the pictured face of the lady, and pressed it to his lips reverentially. There was no extra parade of feeling; his feelings were too deep for that. There was gratitude in every line of his face. His soul was inwardly and silently thanking God for prayers answered. Sternna sat as one in a dream. She seemed to have no power to speak, but her thoughts were running on rapidly. This strange coincidence might be nothing after all. The Earl closed the locket and walked back to where Sternna sat, still holding the locket in his hand. "Where did you get this locket ? " 308 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. "The lady who cared for me received it with iny clothes/ "And she is in America?" "Yes, Sir." " Stand up one moment, my child." Sternna arose, and old Rory muttered: "Me Laird, so loik, so loik she be." The Earl smoothed Sternna s hair on each temple; he looked into her eyes; he lifted first one hand and then the other; he turned her back to him, then he viewed her pro file; then turned her face, and imprinted a kiss upon her forehead. "So loik, so loik/ were the words that came from a remote corner of the room. " My child, you are my child, but we are still unacquainted. What does your heart tell you of me ? " "Was the Earl commanding* his feeling s out of considera tion for the lady, or was he naturally cool ? Cool he was, but affectionate; considerate he was, as all kind people are. In consequence of the Earl s cool consideration it is impos sible to give this scene dramatic effect. "My child, you do not answer. "What does your feelings say to you of me?" Sternna turned her face toward him with that quiet dig nity of expression that at times made her so like a queen, and answ r ered: "It tells me you are a pure, good man." " Is that all?" said the Earl, with a disappointed expres sion. "No, not all," said Sternna. "What more?" "It tells me you are the man I would like to call father. It tells me to hope you are my own real father. My heart tells me I am your daughter." The Earl leaned forward, took both hands of Sternna s, bent his head over them, and kissed one and then the other. " My child, may God grant that this be true." The Earl pressed his lips again and again upon the brow of his new-found treasure, while Kory cried, HONEST SCOTCH BLOOD. 309 "Me Laird! so loik, so loik she be!" The trio sat as those transported into another world. After a few moments of silence the Earl said : "Rory, you may go now." When the Earl and Sternna were left alone, the Earl said: "We will follow up the investigation. As regards my self, no further proof is necessary; but before the world I must give proof undeniable." And the Earl, with his cus tomary caution, proceeded to explain to Sternna how such things would be questioned where there was a shadow of doubt regarding the truth. " Quietly and privately I shall be your father, but before I can do so publicly I must prove myself so. The heirs to my estate in Scotland, pro vided I do not bring proof positive of your identity, will contest every inch of ground over which you must pass." All the queen within Sternna arose. The honest Scotch blood of the Bc Clues coursed through her veins swiftly. She arose. Her classic head assumed a new poise, and her form was drawn up to its full height. Her eyes were four fold more expressive as she spake. " I shall enforce no claim. I, too, have pride, and will never accept a position that is not mine by right of birth, neither privately nor publicly." The Earl looked upon this regal girl with something akin to awe. " Am I not to be your friend, your guide, and protector?" "No," said the girl. "I prefer we should be strangers until such time as I prove my origin, if ever I do." My child, my own beloved daughter, it is in your interest I have spoken thus. I would not have you sub jected to all you may have to endure, were I to openly assert that I have found my child." " Your judgment is best; but I prefer to walk on in my usual way, until such time as we know more of ourselves." " And please God the day may not be long distant," said the Earl, placing his hand on his heart and growing pallid in the face. " Water, my child." 3IO MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE, Sternna flew for a glass of water. Placing her arm about his neck, she held, the glass to his lips. His body leaned heavily against her. She held him in her arms, and from the utmost depths of her orphaned-longing soul came the words: " Father, father, speak! speak, please, one word! Shall I call ? You are dying. O my father! My father!" " Bend your ear to my mouth," said the Earl. " I am surely dying. Seek every means to establish your rights. You are my daughter. Eory knows it. He will serve you. Do not call. It is too late. Let me die in peace and quiet in the arms of my child. Heaven bless you." At that moment the door opened, and Carrie entered with her father. A gleam of joy shot athwart the dying man s face. He motioned the visitors to draw near. The Sena tor, with a look of alarm, moved toward the door again. The Earl, with a look of distress, called him to his side. " Bear witness that I, the Earl of Bc Clue, with my dying breath, claim this lady as my daughter." As he held up his right hand, the Senator knelt by his side and attempted to move the Earl to a more easy posi tion; but he was dead. Overpowered by this sudden shock, Sternna had fainted. The Senator lifted the dead form from Sternna s arms. Carrie and her father used such re storatives as were at hand to bring Sternna back to con sciousness. The first word she spoke was: "Where is my father? Oh! Carrie, I have killed him with my haughty, cruel way." c< Hush! hush!" said Carrie, for the room was filled with people. They were removing the Earl s body to his own house. In less than half an hour Sternna was placed in prison. It was in vain that Carrie begged to accompany her. As for the Senator, he flew hither and yon; he indulged in all sorts of American expletives; he called them a pusillani mous, frog-eating set; he hastened off to the American rain- THIS MUST BE A DREAM. 3 1 I ister; he laid the case before him, and received a promise from that gentleman to do all he could; he assured Mr. Smith that all would be right as soon as an examination had been made. " Why the devil don t they set about it then? What right have they to keep this lady in prison, waiting their pleasure?" Paris was thrown into an intense excitement by the state ment that an American lady had poisoned a Scotch Earl. Mon Dieu ! mon Dieu ! What better could be expected of these half-civilized people from the New World ?" In summing up the Americans as a class, they made out but one good point in them; i. e., their money, which they spend upon foreign shores right generously. With frequent French shoulder-shrugs, they acknowledged this. Poor old Rory was half wild with grief. Still, as a wit ness, he was the main spoke in the wheel. He testified that his " Gude Laird" had for many years thought he should leave this world suddenly. Four days had elapsed before they concluded to render a verdict, " Died of apoplexy." Then Sternna was borne away by Carrie and her father. A few days must pass, and they would sail for America. Old Eory was the first to call on Sternna. He bade her be of " gude cheer." He an nounced his intention of accompanying her to America; it was necessary that he should; and when his " gude lady" wished to return to her castle on the Clyde, he should be there to go with her. "Oh! Rory; this must all be a dream. Could he only have lived until it was proven. Of what use will all this be tome? I am alone." The old man crept to her side and lifted her hand to his lips. " Nae, nae alone; nae while I live. I ha served my gude Laird and Lady many a year; I woll now serve their wee one." 312 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. No one called on Sternna, except the old professor, the Senator, and Carrie. Sternna told Mr. Smith and his daughter Carrie everything which had passed between her self and the Earl of Bc Clue. The good Amos Smith slapped his hand on his knee, and declared the case was as clear as the noonday sun. Mr. Smith was pleased that the Earl s Scotch valet would go with them to America. Sternna posted a letter to Madame Junk and Miss Busy, stating what time they might be looked for. Every night Madame Junk knelt at her bedside, and offered up an especial prayer that God might vouchsafe them a safe journey. Mr. Stanly had been traveling in Scotland; he would ar rive in America about the same time that the Senator and his party returned, a fact which vastly renewed Miss Busy s age. The two husbands set to work like a couple of hired hands to rearrange everything in Miss Busy s establishment. Miss Busy would doubtless have made some preparation to receive Sternna, but not with that alacrity of spirit were she the only visitor expected. CHAPTEK XXXVII. LIFTING THE VEIL. IT is quite time that Joel should receive some attention from us. Albert Mayo still retained the package, for Joel was taken with a relapse; he was confined to his room in a very weak condition for three months. Albert consid ered that whatever the package contained, it would be more or less exciting to Joel. Had Joel been Albert s own brother, he would not have been more kindly cared for. The good mother (God bless her!) watched with all a mother s care over Joel. Madame Junk ran in two or three times a week, never omitting to pray while there. Indeed, she had im pressed the good mother as being the most devout Christian woman she ever knew. Thus, Madame Junk, through Joel s illness, had added new friends to her now large list, and friends, too, that respected her. Joel had given a clear account of everything that hap pened to him on the night of the fire; how the men had thrown something over his head, and dragged him through the bushes and over the stones; how they had pulled him through the hole leading to their underground apartments; how they kicked him when they found he had not the pack age; how they choked him, and left him for dead. Through the recital, Albert ground his teeth, and more than once swung up his huge fist, and lowered in his imagi nation at the assassins. If he could have laid hold of them in that moment he would have given them such a shaking that there would scarcely have been enough left for the law to make a case of Albert in his indignation, denounced 314 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. the whole municipal authorities for allowing outlaws to play such pranks. One day, when Albert saw that Joel was on the mend, he came into the room. His face was full of kind feeling, and his genial soul was all aglow. " Come, now, my boy, I am not going to have you housed up in this place any longer. He placed a warm shawl over Joel s shoulders, and set a hat on his head. " Come, now, take a turn with me in the garden. You will never get strength in this way." Albert took Joel under the arm, and walked with him down the stairs. " Joe, I want you to pick up right brisk now, for we are to have company from abroad. I don t want your friends to come and find you mewed up in this way. " "What friends?" "Why, the Senator and daughter, and the lady artist, Miss Sternna Somebody, that the whole United States have gone wild over. She has painted a scene from the civil war, called Eescued. " " This is all news to me," said Joel; " I did not know they intended to return so soon. "When do they arrive ? " " In a few days. This picture is thought to be a wonder. I am quite curious to see this lady. "Will you introduce me, Joe?" " I shall take pride in doing so, and feel much honored besides." The effect of this piece of news upon Joel was like a draught of old wine. His heart might have beaten a little irregularly, but his eyes brightened, and the color came and went upon his cheek. "There, Joe! did I not tell you the air would do you good ? " You look twenty per cent, better. Now, Joel, in regard to this incendiary robber cut-throat business, and that package. It is about time to crack it; don t you think so? Suppose you look into the matter before your friends arrive. It will be off your mind. Let it be good or bad, it THE YOUNG HERCULES. 315 is better to have it settled, that is, if you feel strong enough to bear it. I have the papers locked up in my trunk. Joe, I don t wish to pry into your affairs, but if you feel like trusting me your confidence shall not be misplaced." At this, Joel faced about, and looked at the young Her cules with a mischievous laugh, and said: Here s a hand my trusty friend, And gie us bock anither. " "Ho, ho! my Highlander; I was not aware you were Scotch." "The devil may tell what I am." Thus they laughed, chatted, and walked around the gar den, the young Hercules lending the strength of his arm to Joel. That afternoon Joel and Albert were closeted together. A table stood in the center of the room, and the two young men sat opposite each other. It was strewn with papers from the mysterious package. The first thing they fell upon was a will deeding Madame Junk a half interest in a gold mine in Australia. For Madame Junk there was also ten thousand dollars worth of Government bonds. Albert gave a prolonged whistle. "Why, the old lady is as rich as Solomon. Shell be building a temple for the poor, my word for it. If she were a younger woman, she would have an offer of marriage be fore to-morrow noon. I am not so sure but what she will as it is." " I am more pleased than if it were for myself; she has had a hard time ever since I can remember," said Joel. " She has been to work for God all these years, and she will say that God has rewarded her at last." Then here was a long corpulent-looking envelope, sealed and double sealed, and directed to Joel. With hand slightly tremulous he slit with his knife lengthwise this en velope. The contents were emptied upon the table. The two young men began reading. No sound was heard but 316 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. the rustling of the papers. So: no half an hour elapsed be fore either one raised his eyes. Their eyes met. Joel s face was covered with emotion unutterable. Albert stretched his hand over the table and grasped Joel s hand. " I knew it, Joe! I knew it all the time!" Albert was so brimful of joy, he must give vent to it in some way. He arose, and his great, tall form went whizzing around the table. He stood before the window and sang: " High, Betty Martin, tip-toe fine, Couldn t find a husband to suit her mind, " Turning about abruptly, he said: " You don t seem to feel very chirk about it, Joe!" " It may be all a lie!" said Joel. " Not a bit of it! If that man never told the truth before in his life, that is the truth/ -What shall I do?" " Keep still and investigate. Write to this man, but let us rest and think. It is near limchtime now/ said Albert, gathering up his papers, and tying them up with a string. To-morrow morning we shall feel fresher, and our thoughts will be clearer/ If passing a sleepless night can make one s thoughts clearer, those boys got up the next morning with clear heads. However, they exchanged their usual repartee over their coffee, while Albert s father suppressed a haw! haw! that at any other place but his own breakfast-table he would have given vent to. After breakfast the young gen tlemen took a turn in the garden, walking arm in arm around the pleasant paths. " W T e shall have some copying to do this day; it is best to make an e^act copy of each paper and retain the original. But hold on I have struck it," said Albert, halting so sud denly as to almost upset Joel. "I will send a telegram this very hour. If any such family lives there, or ever did, I will find it out very soon. Come on, Joe!" And he made a rush for the house and seized his hat. SENDING A TELEGRAM. 317 Then another thought seemed to occur to him. He bounded up-stairs, two steps at a time, and took out the papers. " There, Joe, just read off the names while I write them down." His note-book was out, and his hand was traveling over the paper as rapidly as the words dropped from Joel s mouth. After taking down what he considered to be sufficient, he read it aloud to Joel. " Al, that is a long telegram/ " Who the devil cares how long it is! It is better to have one long one than many short ones. If that don t wind up the business, nothing can. They will be impressed with our importance, if they judge by the length of our telegram. Wait, Joe! a ride would do you good." In sonorous voice Albert was heard giving orders for the two black mares to be placed before the phaeton and driven to the door with speed. " My son, you seem to be in great glee over something this morning," said the good mother, as she met the two young gentlemen passing out. Don t weary Joel out. You must remember, Joel is not so strong as you are." " Never fear, mother," said Albert, giving her a kiss. Joel was soon seated beside Albert. Joel looked a pigmy beside a giant. Albert sat a head and shoulders above Joel. Clip, clap ! clip, clap ! Away went the black mares at a pace which showed they were imbued with the spirit of the driver. Arriving at the telegraph office, Albert handed the reins to Joel, and with one bound landed at the door. He de livered the message, and told them he would return in an hour for the answer. He was soon in the phaeton, and away they spun, as if they were bent on delivering the tele gram in person. Joel was nervous this morning; his spirit was not within his own control. Albert understood all this, and knew the 31 8 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. time must be occupied in some exciting, break-neck way, just to kill it. So the black nags had to step. Albert sang snatches of song, and looked at Joel from the corners of his eyes, remarked this and that, and sang again, " If a body kiss a body coming through the rye." When they brought up at their own door, Joel looked far from well. The good mother became alarmed, and reproved Albert for taking him so far. Mr. and Mrs. Mayo, Albert and Joel, were seated at lunch when there came an emphatic ring. The servant soon handed in a telegram, addressed to Albert Mayo, Esq. Without a word of excuse, he dropped his knife and fork, and began reading. Joel watched. Albert s father nodded and smiled at Joel. " My son is a man of pressing business, you see." He had scarce finished the words before Albert jumped up, ran around the table, and grabbed Joel by the hand. " There, there, Joe! I knew it. Bead that, and get color in your face. Father and mother," said Albert, " congrat ulate Joel; he has met with great good fortune." " I am heartily glad to hear it," said the father, who was never over-glib; but in this instance he looked pleased. Joel involuntarily turned his eyes toward one in whom he had ever found sympathy. " Whatever your good fortune may be, I hope it will prove a blessing," said the good mother, with moist eyes. Joel seemed unable to utter one word of thanks for these kind wishes. There was a lump in his throat. He was ashamed of his weakness. " Father and mother, please excuse Joel," said Albert; "he has had too much excitement for one day. Come, Joe, let us retire." Joel arose, resting one hand on the table. " I I I h a He reeled, and would have fallen to the floor had not Albert caught him, and conveyed him to A LONG STORY, BUT A TRUE ONE. 319 his room, the good mother bringing up the rear, and scold ing as much as she ever did scold. "You should have known better. He has been a very sick boy; and now to have another set-back! and all for your folly. Hereafter I shall take charge of him myself. I ll not trust you, you great giant." Mrs. Mayo soon returned to the lunch-room, where Albert followed, when the father looked up and asked: "Well, young man, what is going on ? " " There is nothing wrong going on, Sir," returned Albert. "You are doubtless aware that Joel s origin is not known; but thank God, this day s work has cleared everything. Father, Joel belongs to the ton. You like him, don t you? You know how you have always scolded me for not being more choice in my selection of chums. I hope you won t complain. My best friend belongs to the F. F. V. s, and he has a father and mother who will rank with any of the mut ton-headed millionaires of America. Joel s father is a big gun -has a coat-of-arms, and ancestry, and the devil knows what other gimcracks that will make a lion of Joel." Here the good mother put in her oar by remarking that Joel would have always been the same to her if he never had anything." "And so he would to me, mother; but I am so glad. Joel was always so sensitive. I shall be so glad to see those mut ton-headed millionaires (Albert always used the word mutton before millionaire) who snubbed him at school draw in their horns. Won t they fawn and natter. If I was in Joe s place I d stick up my aristocratic nose and question their descent. I d know who their grandfathers were; and if they happened to be workingmen, devil a bit of notice they would get from me." "This must be an interesting story," said Albert s father. " Yes, it is a long story, but a true one," CHAPTEE XXXYIII. THE PET PROJECT THE LAST WILL. A FTEB Madame Junk came into possession of her ten jLX thousand dollars in Government bonds, she visited architects and consulted with them upon the best plans of erecting a prison reform, or in other words, a suitable place for reforming 1 depraved humanity. The name of this estab lishment should be "The Prisoner s Reformatory/ Her beloved project should be carried into effect. True, she was growing a little old, still she had confidence in her power to superintend it. The good Doctor S was consulted, and concurred with Madame Junk in almost everything. Madame Junk, in her zeal, visited the jail, and whispered through the grates to the prisoners of what she had in store for them. Miss Busy joined with Joel in trying to prevail -ipn-n Madame Junk to abandon her project, and look out for herself. It was of no use. She said she had not long to live, and would like to leave something behind her. She cited numerous instances where such a reform would have worked wonders There was poor Mary, who was this mo ment an inmate of an inebriate asylum. At this reference Miss Busy gave a little sniff of the nose, and the two hus bands appeared. Miss Busy asked Madame Junk if she thought Mary could have been reformed under any circum stances. Thereupon Madame Junk declared that she did. If Mary could have been placed where she need feel no humiliation, she would have reformed. " Possibly," said Miss B ;-v, a little bitterly. Madame Junk had no iath or kin, having laid her sister Betsy to rest beside Samuel. It was the first time they OLIVER CROMWELL AND EPITAPHS. 321 were ever so near together without quarreling. Now that Madame Junk was in possession of money, she would erect a tombstone over the grave of her sister, and have just as long an epitaph as she wanted. If she wished to refer to Oliver Cromwell more than once in said epitaph, it would be no one s business. She could pay for the lettering now. She even went so far as to write a few lines down. " Died so and so, descended from Oliver Cromwell;" she would have this last statement in even if it were to the exclusion of a verse from Scripture. The illustrious descendants of Oliver Cromwell should have befitting tombstones, and proper epitaphs written thereon. Madame Junk would have thought it quite in keeping with the occasion to have erected a slab for Samuel Blower, and write, " Here lies Samuel Blower, born so and so, age so and so, married to one of Oliver Cromwell s relations." So, what between architects and gravestone makers, Madame Junk was rather busy. Then there were a score or more of indigent people that must be looked after. Mrs. Glewer had become somewhat known to the business fraternity, and a good share of them took off their hats as they passed the handsome Mrs. Glewer on her way to the store. So large had the business grown, that she employed forty men. She had leased the ground just back of the old shop, and had erected a workshop. To the reader the iron business may appear rather hard for a lady, but there is one woman who can superintend the making of knives and forks as well as the scouring of them. Tom returned much reduced in strength. Day by day he seemed declining; at last he was confined to his room. One day, as Kate sat by his bedside, her maid-of -all-work rapped softly at the door, put her head in and beckoned Kate out. In the family room stood a small boy with a letter in his hand, which he gave to Mrs. Glewer as soon as she entered. Kate read the note hastily. " Tell the lady I will come." Kate returned. She donned her hat and shawl, kissed her 21 322 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. husband, told him he must not be lonely, she should not be gone long, and tripped away toward the Home of the Inebriate. They were evidently looking for her. She rang, and the door was opened by a stalwart female, who looked at Kate from head to foot. "My name is Glewer," said Kate; "a poor woman sent for me. "Ah, crazy Mary; and shure it bees foine sthories she is after telling about ye; but her tongue will not wag much longer, at all, at all." Kate made no reply to these remarks, but followed the woman until she was ushered into a small room where Mary lay dying. She was stretched upon a cot, a perfect living skeleton. She turned her head wearily upon the pillow and looked at Kate with her hollow eyes. Kate stepped to the bedside and placed her hand upon the woman s burning brow. Feebly she drew her bony arm from underneath the clothing. With her hand she lifted Kate s hand from her forehead and threw it from her with all the vengeance her strength would allow. "I am dying, and you have killed me," said the woman; " Tom is home?" she said, looking at Kate. " Yes." l( I must see him; I am dying." " That is impossible; for he is dying, too." " You lie to keep me quiet." Kate leaned over the woman s bed; her face grewwhite, and her eyes large. " Mary, I am telling you the truth. My husband will not live the week out." Kate walked to the window, and looked out, took out her handkerchief, and wiped her eyes. " Come here," said Mary, c( and let me look at your face again. You don t look like a liar. Is Tom really dying ?" " I have told you so, and it is the truth." " Good, good, good!" ejaculated the dying woman. " He REVIEWING THE PAST. 323 deserves to die; he left me alone with my child. How I cursed him the night I sat on the church steps all night, holding my child in my arms, wandering here and there, trying to pick up a living, and he courting another woman at that very time. How I worked! No one would keep me long with a child. At last I was obliged to put him in an orphan asylum, where you took him from. It was I that set the story afloat that it was Tom s child, so that it should come to your ears, and mortify you. I did not know you were such a great woman, and would go and take the child, and bring him up as your own. I did not know that you were too great-hearted to be annoyed in that way." The tears were falling from Kate s eyes. "Mary, I did not know that you had been such a sufferer. I understood you abandoned your child." 11 Yes, yes! It is little you virtuous wives know what we who have no husbands and fathers for our children suffer. It is all very well as long as the men go scot free. A man may deceive a thousand innocent girls, and he will find some woman dishonorable enough to marry him." "Mary!" and Kate s voice rang out so clear and firm. " I am not one who would marry such a man, or a man who had deceived one girl, if I knew it." "Then you did not know this about Tom ?" "No! I did not. I would not have such a curse attached to me." " Then you really did not know it ?" " Before high Heaven, I did not know it!" The woman closed her eyes and held out her hand. " I have wronged you then. I thought you knew it, and scorned me for my weakness by taking my child, and acting like a mother to it." " I thought to atone for my husband s sin." " Then you do not love my boy?" "No, I do not think I love him \vith a mother s love." " Oh! oh!" groaned poor Mary; " my poor boy has never known a mother s love." 324 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " He has known a mother s care, and always shall while I live," said Kate. "Caring for him to atone for a husband s sin/ " No, not altogether that; it is my duty." Duty without love is a hard task." "Not that alone; I am interested in him now. He has our name, and I wish to make something of him." " Still a selfish purpose." He will never know it," said Kate: " he will be well provided for." "What is that without love ?" " I did not say I did not love the boy in some way; but I do not think I have a mother s love for him." "And why not ? You have had him since he was a small child." " I do not know," said Kate; " we have no sympathy." "Will you tell Tom you have seen me?" "No, I think not." "Why?" "He is too weak to bear excitement of this kind." " Has Tom never told you anything about me?" " No, he has never referred to you in any way." Have you asked him no questions ? " "No, not one." " Strange, strange," muttered the woman in an under tone. Again she turned her eyes upon Kate with a search ing look. " Does Tom know this boy is his own?" " He knows nothing, only what he heard you say. I do not know if he believes it or not." " In that case," said the woman, bitterly, "Tom will make no provision for my child, his child, and the boy will be left to your mercy and you do not love him. He will be without father or mother, and a beggar." Kate looked at the woman. She knew that Mary could live but a few days at most, but her eyes flashed with a just resentment. " You talk of my mercy. Has not my mercy SHE DID HER DUTY. 325 fed, clothed, sheltered, and in the highest degree made your child comfortable ? " Kate went on : f My conscience does not upbraid my mercy, and you, with your dying breath, upbraid me for the years of care I have given your child for the hours I have worked that I might advance him in education and position. These are your dying thanks to me, who have done for your child what his father and mother would not have done. Had Tom really known that the child was his own, he would not have allowed me to keep him. Mary, there has been a time in my life when I would have feared a dying curse. I have no fear of yours. I have done the best I could. If you go to your God with an ill-feeling in your heart toward me, God will not hold me accountable for it. God knows us both, and will judge us accordingly. I have never wronged you. Had I known your great misfortune before I married Tom, I should never have been his wife." " You do not love him as I did," said Mary. " That may be," replied Kate; " but I have done my duty by him as you never would have done it." "I believe you." " Mary, what can I do for you?" said Kate, holding her hand toward the woman. " I wish Tom would see me decently buried. Ask Tom to do this much for me." " I will see that you have a Christian burial. Will you have a minister to pray for you ?" "No; I want Madame Junk. Her prayers helped me once, and if I could have always remained with her I should have reformed." Kate moved toward the door, opened it and walked out. She had passed half way down the corridor when she turned, walked back, and entered the room again. She went up to the bed and leaned over it. " Mary! Mary! I could not leave you in this way. I want to say something comforting to you. If we never meet 326 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. again on earth, let us part with friendly feelings toward each other. You believe I speak the truth, do you not ?" "Yes! yes! you speak too much truth." " "Well, I want to make you a promise. Your child shall share with me in my husband s estate; and if he outlives me, he shall have it all." There is heart in that/ said Mary; " and you will keep your word. You were always too good for Tom, and I knew it the first time I set eyes on you; and the time you ordered me out of your house I knew you were just toward me." "There, there, Mary! Do you feel kindly toward me now? I may never see you again; but if souls are allowed to look upon us from another world, you will find me doing all a mother could do for a child." " I wish I could have seen my child before I die." " He is in school a long distance from here; and if you love him you will spare him the pain of knowing this." Kate bent down and pressed her lips to the woman s forehead. As she did so, the tears fell upon the woman s face. "Good-by, Mary! May God bless and take you home, where you may have a life with less sorrow than you have known here!" With these words Kate hastened away to the bedside of another dying sinner. On her homeward journey Kate called on Madame Junk, informed her of Mary s request, and that in her dying mo ments she desired religious consolation. The reader is aware, long before this, that Madame Junk is at home in this line. Not that she desired that any one should die that she might bring into use this God-given talent of accompanying with her prayers souls that pass through the valley of the shadow of death. Still, when death does come, Madame Junk had an inward satisfaction in being called on to pray. Her prayers were no stereotyped A PLAN BEYOND HIS REACH. 327 affairs that would answer for any sinner, but they came from the heart. More than once the prayers offered up at the bedside of dying sinners has called into the paths of recti tude and virtue sinners that lived long years afterwards. Then who shall say this eccentric woman has not done her individual share toward the redemption of mankind ? "When Kate arrived at her home she expected to find Tom impatient, but was greatly surprised to find him in a very docile frame of mind. She asked him how he had spent the time. " In thought," was his answer. "Do you know, Kate, I am determined to make my will, and that very soon. Not that I think I am going to die, but it is well enough to be on the safe side. If I should die without a will, the law is such that you could only hold half of my possessions; the rest would go to my family; and that I do not wish. Not having any children of our own, my brothers would be likely to interfere with you. Not that I am going to die; but I do it as a precaution." Kate seemed lost in thought. At last, looking up, she asked the question: " Is not George our own ?" " No!" said Tom; " and my brothers would soon let you know that." Kate s high sense of right was likely to get the better of her discretion. " Tom, when you make your will, I wish you would divide everything equally between George and myself." Tom turned his head on the pillow, and looked square in the face of his wife. " Woman! you are beside yourself. How do you know what sort of a man this boy will make ? Do you think I will take the chance of this boy squandering my hard earnings ?" " But, Tom, he is our child." (She wanted to say, " He is your own flesh and blood, and you are just as much his father as if I had been his mother .") 328 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " No, Kate, not a penny. In case I should die, you will see that he has a home, and is comfortably cared for until he can earn his own living." Kate was silent; she had her own plan, and it was beyond the reach of any one who might attempt to frustrate it. CHAPTEK XXXIX. THE CONTRITE SINNER TOM S DEATH A NEW FATHER AND MOTHER THE FIVE ACRES A LECTURE ON INDUSTRY. MADAME JUNK was not long in making her way to the bedside of Mary, with whom she prayed long and fervently; Mary repeating after her the words in the prayer. For three successive days she called, and labored with Mary at the throne of mercy. The third day the soul passed from its tenement of clay, forgiving all and asking to be for given. Madame Junk gave rather elaborate orders for the funeral services. The dead body was better dressed than the living one had ever been. The folded hands held flowers more rare than the living ones had ever gathered. G-ood Dr. S gave a short exhortation, in which he men tioned the repentance of the deceased; how she had passed from a world altogether unfit to live in; how she had died a Christian. The only mourners that followed the contrite Mary to her last resting-place were Madame Junk and Kate Glewer. Kate kept her word; she gave the woman whom her husband had wronged a Christian burial. She should have a well-kept grave while Mrs. Glewer lived. Flowers should be planted, and a neat white fence placed about it; a plain marble slab should be erected, and Madame Junk begged the privilege of conducting the epitaph, which should be simple, but suitable. Kate s duties became manifold. She kept her husband s business running smoothly, also attending to her own home 330 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. and making her husband as comfortable as a sick man can be made. One day she announced her intention of sending for George. ""Why?" asked Tom; "you do not think I am gcing to die, do you?" Kate evaded the question by saying that George had been a long time from home, and that she wanted to see him herself. In her heart she did hope Tom would explain some things; she would like to have him acknowledge George, and act like a real father. The evening George was to arrive Kate was more than weary. It was the first time for years that her strong physical nature was compelled to succumb. She had stretched herself upon a couch in Tom s room so as to be within hailing distance. She heard a strange rattle from Tom s throat. She arose quickly, went to the bed; she placed her arms und er him and raised him up. "Kate! My son! Forgive me!" and the breath had left the body, never to return. The rattle of carriage- wheels was heard, a quick step in the hall, and George stood in the presence of a dead father and a beloved living adopted mother. Neither spoke. George stepped to the bedside, and his affectionate nature gave vent to a flood of tears. He bent over the form of his father; he kissed his brow; he placed his hand upon the dead man s head, and smoothed back the hair, dewy with death. "Oh, father! father! You did not love me! I have loved you! Oh, father, if I could have had your blessing. Were I your own child, my heart could not yearn toward you more/ The young man looked up and said : " I knew father wanted to see me. I hastened as soon as I received your letter. Did he seem anxious for me ? " Kate had not the heart to tell George that not one kind word had been spoken. Bad news travels fast. Madame Junk was one of the first to offer sympathy. She knelt down and offered up a prayer for the dead man s soul; she prayed for the widow and the IF HE SHOULD ATTEMPT IT. 331 son; she asked God to bless them, with true pathos. Mad ame Junk thought if God had set her apart to do this work (and she believed He had), she would not falter. It had ever been her especial province to comfort the sick and afflicted and to be at the bedside of the dying. Good Dr. S was to preach the funeral sermon. Mad ame Junk, in summing up the good things to be referred to in the course of the address, mentioned Tom s political activity, which, she affirmed, at one time elected the right man to the right place. The good Dr. S , however, had his own opinion in regard to recommending such qualities as a virtue, and, if we remember rightly, did not refer to it. The business was closed, and every man in Tom Glewer s employ attended the funeral and followed his remains to the grave. Each and all spoke kindly of him; they said he was an honest man; and if the reader will consider a moment, it is a great thing to be said over the grave of any man or woman; it is the summing up of all the cardinal virtues. As yet, D. D. Spludge has never thought of taking another helpmeet. Stranger things have happened than it would be for him to lead Madame Junk to the altar. She would be a desirable acquisition to any man, with her Home in full blast and a half interest in a gold mine a fact which Mr. Spludge has heard of; also, her steadily increasing popularity. Certainly the source from which this wealth came was not quite the ticket; but what of that? It was a ticket the world would close one eye to, and let a man slip in on. It is not a bad idea, but as sure as he attempts to court Madame Junk she will allow bis hopes to be raised to the highest pitch, then she will dash them to the ground. In other words, he will get jilted; and his hitherto respect able position will prevent him from suing for a breach of promise. We scarcely anticipate such a thing will occur; but if it should, our judgment tells us this would be the result. Joel was about to start for Washington, where his father 33 2 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. and mother reside, who are anxiously awaiting the arrival of their son, whom they had supposed drowned something like twenty-two years since, when a boy two or three years old. His little straw hat was found floating on the river. In place of being drowned he had been abducted by Ralph Barns, who received the sum of three thousand dollars for drowning the heir to the immense Fletcher estate. This was done at the instigation of Joel s uncle, who would be the next heir, provided Mr. Fletcher died childless. The reader already knows that Mr. Burns sent the boy to Mad ame Junk, informing her that the child was his own, a statement she had never doubted for years. The papers which he gave into Joel s keeping contained a full account of everything, giving Mr. Fletcher proof positive that the statement was true, and that Joel was really his child. Dur ing these years the brother who perpetrated this crime died of remorse and grief, supposing he had caused the murder of his brother s only child. Ralph always intended to set the boy right; and when he found himself sentenced for a long term of years, he looked upon his case as a hopeless one. But when by good fortune he made his escape from prison, he wanted the package that contained his wealth and the secret of Joel s birth. The good Mrs. Mayo would not give her consent that Joel, in his weak condition, should set out upon this journey alone; for this reason, Albert was to accompany him. Those of our readers who have visited the Capital, and have walked up Madison Avenue, will remember a large brownstone house, setting far back, with tall elm and maple trees overshadowing the carriage-way that leads to the house. There is an indescribable something about this house that bespeaks the tone of the inmates. It has a de cidedly aristocratic bearing, and the poorest observer might know that no common people lived there. There is none of your newfangled filigrees about this house; it is none of your hop-arid-skip houses, that must be pulled down A GOOD AMERICAN GUN. 333 every year and made over in fashion. It is like a sensible woman who makes a silk dress and intends to wear it out as she has made it. The name of Roen Fletcher is upon the door-plate. The interior is as sound as the exterior. If there were any grandchildren to ramble through it, per chance it might be less lonely. Boen Fletcher is in the afternoon of life; so is Elizabeth, his wife. She is one of the most beautiful old ladies we ever saw, somewhat after the Martha Washington type, but moulded far more exquisitely, taller, and more queenly than was Martha Washington. You understand at once where this woman belongs; you understand her place is, and ever has been, one of pre-eminence. There is a glory about her that involuntarily makes the lowest order of men feel to honor women. Koen Fletcher is a gentleman of the old school, with an address haughty, yet still urbane. Roen Fletcher has written some of the most powerful essays on political econ omy ever written in the United States. He has ever been the counselor of high dignitaries, and a man universally esteemed; he is an American, and an honor to his land. Both he and his wife are of English extraction. His lineage can be traced back to George the Fourth. (However, that is no great honor. I should prefer to have had Abraham Lincoln for an ancestor of mine rather than George the Fourth.) But casting this aside, to sum it all up, and use the words of our young Hercules, Albert Mayo, "Mr. Fletcher is a great gun a good American gun that has never missed fire in any of those political wars in which our country has been agitated." Just at this moment Mr. and Mrs. Fletcher are in an un usual state of excitement. These dispatches that have been forwarded to them from across the continent have had a disquieting effect. The mother is full of hopes; the father doubtful. All the mother s heart is called into action. The slumbering, yearning mother s love reaches afar to clasp a 334 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. lost idol. "What a shock if it should prove untrue ! "What hopes! what thoughts! what fears! Together these two recalled every scene of the past; to gether they reviewed this brother s life; his dying confession of how he hired this man to murder their child; how he begged and prayed, in his last moments, for their for giveness. "While the young gentlemen are making their journey, we will see what Madame Junk is about. She has purchased a piece of land quite out of the city, and the work of erecting the reformatory establishment is in full blast. Carpenters and masons are at work, hammer and tongs. Every day Madame Junk may be seen standing by, viewing the scene with a complacent smile. It is a stupendous undertaking for a woman who is not in her prime; but Madame Junk is a prime w r oman, as we shall prove. More than one sleep less night was passed in studying how to make this a paying institution. Her better judgment told her that she could not take in Tom, Dick and Harry, and have them lie about, eat, drink, and do nothing. In such a case ten to one they would study how to cut up some new rusty. No, no, that would not do. Happily she had purchased five acres of land. Of course, that would enable them to raise their own fruit and vegeta bles; the women could sew or make paper bags; in any event, this must be a self-supporting institution for released malefactors, where the Scriptures might be followed out: " Lest a man be bom again, he cannot enter the kingdom of heaven." "With this view in end, Madame Junk would have a chapel, and if no minister could be found godly enough to give his time for the redemption of men s souls, she would do the preaching herself; she would set forth her own peculiar views in regard to propagating a better race of people. If our race were only born right, there would be no necessity of their being born again. The handsome "Widow Grlewer literally became a worker A NATURAL LAW. 335 in Hie field. Her clear judgment and sound practical sense were invaluable to Madame Junk, not alone with her advice but with her purse. When the right time came, she told Madame Junk that the ground must be planted and fenced in. " Don t go to making a show-fence, but a common rough board fence. It is time to look after the different sorts of fruit trees. Trees must be selected which we can plant ourselves," said the resolute Kate. If a woman can dig a grave for a haversack, she can plant a tree. So Kate and Madame Junk spent one whole day in ordering from the nursery a variety of fruit trees; and with the assistance of one man they planted them. They dug, hoed and scraped, and at the end of a week quite a large patch of ground was covered with what looked to be straight sticks. Of course, there would have to be a great gang of people in the house to eat all the fruit that would come from those trees. Kate saw that part of the fruit must be sold, in order to make the trees pay for them selves; whereas, Madame Junk would let them eat it all, or give it away, and trust in God to pay for the trees. Kate was not a religionist or a radical in anything; therefore had no faith that the Kef ormatory Home could be sustained upon the word of God alone. She believed in work. It was idleness that made charity institutions a necessity. This she impressed upon Madame Junk with the full vigor of her clear judgment. It was in vain Madame Junk argued that some folks were born idle; it was constitutional; an innate thing handed down from generation to generation. "Madame Junk," said Kate, "you must make it a rule that every one that comes within these walls must work." "But," returned Madame Junk, " they can t starve if they won t work." " Yes, they can; and it is a just punishment that they should. I look upon it as a natural law, and if you call 336 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. God in question, it is the law of God, and a law we have no right to interfere with. Any one who can work, and might work, and won t work, I should consider I was com mitting a great sin to feed. I think hunger will reform idleness more than any amount of Bible doctrine." "Maybe," said Madame Junk, in a listless way, totally unable to bring anything to bear against this knock-down logic. Kate. was gaining ground, and Madame Junk was likely to be beaten by her own theory. Kate continued: "If idleness is an inborn propensity and handed down from generation to generation, and this institution is a reformatory one, as you term it, for reform ing depraved humanity, why it is best to begin at the root of the evil. It is best to make the idle work, and the in dustrious ones will require no driving." "Suppose they won t work?" "We will let them starve then." "This might make thieves of them; they would go out and steal." " They are already thieves; for any man or woman who is content to eat the bread they have not earned is a thief, that is, if well, and able to work for it. Furthermore, any man or woman who will provide for such idleness is aiding and abetting thieves. You must excuse me for drawing this strong. When well, strong men or women ask us for some thing to eat, let us provide them with work. The only true objects of charity are those who have the misfortune to be in poor health." " You are severe," said Madame Junk. "I hope I shall never be unjust. Look at this ground that is in want of cultivation. Suppose a good strong man was to come up and say, I want something to eat/ I would give him something to work upon as well as eat. If he would not work, I should consider that I was encouraging idleness by feeding such a person. I believe in reform as A SELF-IMPOSED BURDEN. 337 mucli as you do, but I also believe that misplaced charity kills half of the would-be reform. This onesided labor question is too onesided for me. You will find, with the useful portion of community, that life is no joke, and too frequently their backs have been bent, if not broken, by toiling up the hill of life beneath the dead weight of some one s laziness. Look about us. Look on what is called our best society, and see what we find there. The husbands and fathers of our best society toil from early dawn until late at night to support their families in indolence. "What do these do-nothing women amount to ? Generally speak ing, they are women of the most common order of mind have not an idea beyond the last fashion-plate, and study nothing else. I often think the men are poorly rewarded for all their toil. If I were a man, I would not sacrifice my life for the pleasure of looking at a beautiful woman. To be a beautiful woman is not a merit. To live a full life, to Lave done good, to have achieved something by which we may be remembered after this life, should be the end and aim of every true woman; not merely to catch a husband who will *vvork like a dog from morn until night, and from year s end to year s end to clothe a wife in purple and fine linen/ And for this life of self-sacrifice she honors him by taking his name, smiling on him three times a day, and dressing so fine that the world says: Smith, or Jones, your wife is a handsome woman. " "But," said Madame Junk, "don t you think the men are greatly at fault that the women are so vain and idle ? Only a charming woman has power nowadays; their only way to hold a man is by their beauty." If these so-called charming women did their duty we should have less need of reform. It is just like subjecting the system to one kind of food. You may eat Graham mush until your stomach refuses to bear anything stronger. The men of our best society have been fed on milk and water until they look upon that class of diet as the most refined. 22 338 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. Did you ever stop to think that our calendars of crime are not filled with the middle classes? The hard-working mechanics are not often forgers (Madame Junk gave a little start), knaves and wholesale swindlers. They are more frequently the sons of our handsome, fashionable do-nothing mothers of the so-called best society. They are sons born in indolence, bred in it, and educated in it; who scorn honest labor. Many of them are educated in theory, but not in actual knowledge, which is born of industry, and advances mankind. The very seed of indolence was nurtured by the mother ere the child was born." "That is my theory/ said Madame Junk, bristling up. " How can we help it ?" " By removing the cause," said Kate, promptly. "Let these soft women wake up to the fact that it is a selfish crime to lead an idle life, making themselves a weight to some poor fool, who has led them to the altar with the promise to carry them on his back until death do them part/ 53 " It is a load of their own seeking/ said Madame Junk, with a smile. " In part that is true; but an adroit angler can catch suckers, especially if he makes a life-long profession of it. The very men who support your churches, where women go every Sabbath to see the fashions, are not men who follow the teachings of the Bible in any form. They are content to take unto themselves a * help-eat/ they expect to slide into heaven on their wives prompt contributions to ward the support of a favorite church." We trust the reader will excuse Kate, this being her first lecture on the reform question. If her audience was small, it was attentive enough, to make up. Besides, we all know (at least the male portion of our community) that when a woman s tongue is inclined to wag, she will not stop until her entire vocabulary of words has been exhausted. CHAPTEK XL. ON THE WINGRETURN HOME A VISIT TO THE MOUN TAINS WOMEN ARE DEVILS; SNAKES, EVERY ONE OF EM, SIR. rT~lHE young gentlemen were fast approaching the end of JL their journey. The sea air had brought the color to Joel s cheeks, and he had gained greatly in strength. " By Jove, Joe! you are getting as sweet as a peach. If you continue to gain so fast in good looks as you have done since we started, I am pretty certain the old Governor will not be able to resist you, whether he thinks you are his son or not." " Albert, do j r ou think the Governor, as you are pleased to term him, is the only one that will require proof? I also shall require proof that he is my father. Where there is money in the case, I am not going to bow down. I will not compromise my self-respect by taking one step more than half way to meet this man. I don t care what the proof is." "Look here, Joe! The gentleman s age demands that you, as a younger man, should show that respect which is always due our elders." "Ah! that is another question." said Joel. " We may show the most profound respect without crawling to estab lish a claim. A fact that cannot establish itself, I will have nothing to do with." "Well, there is one thing I do know: the fact does exist," said Albert, " if it is never established." "This is a matter over which a sensitive man s nature recoils. A claim fought for in this way looks, in many in stances, wholly mercenary, and I cannot see wherein my (339) 340 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. case would seem an exception. The love of a son for his parents, and of the parents for a son, needs no contending for; the motives outside of that are money and position." "Not altogether," said Albert. " It might be to show the world that you were of good stock. It is something to be descended from a good race of people/ "But," returned Joel, "the claim of ancestry which requires a great amount of fighting to support would at once show a very mean race of people; therefore, any ances try that must be fought for I would scorn to own." "Joel, your notions are too lofty for a man who intends to follow law for a profession." " Be that as it may; so far as my individual self is con cerned, I shall contest no claim of this kind. I may be as poor as a beggar, but I am not a beggar of that sort." "If there was nothing else to prove your origin, your everlasting pride would do it." "Pride is a good thing, and if the one who has it suffers, why that is his own look out." Senator A. G. Smith, wife and daughter, together with old Bory and Sternna, arrived the day after Albert and Joel set out upon their journey. They were disappointed at not seeing Joel, but on being informed of his mission they re joiced, and wished him Godspeed. After a few days of rest the Senator set about the investigation of Sternna s origin. He held a long consultation with Madame Junk, gleaning from her every little item, and every day he added some thing new to the list. He found that there was an old man far up in the moun tains who knew something about Sternna when she was an infant. The Senator was determined to learn what he knew about it. Madame Junk had great confidence that this old man knew something of importance in regard to the matter. So eager was she to push things that she proposed to accom pany the Senator upon this journey. She had a vague idea that it would require a woman s adroitness to obtain the THE DISCOVERY. 341 desired information. The two set out upon their search. Far up amid the tall pines they discovered a little hut whose inmate was a little old man almost in his second childhood. He seemed to be greatly surprised that he should be the object of their visit. He placed a rude bench for the Sen ator, and a chair without a back for Madame Junk. He was bent almost double, his hair was white as snow, but his keen blue eye showed traces of intelligence. Madame Junk and the Senator exchanged significant glances, as much as to say, "Will you open the ball, or shall I? At last Madame Junk, taking up the cue, began as follows : " You have lived here a long time, my good man?" " Yes; well on to twenty-two years. " " Did you ever know a man by the name of Ichabod Sprinkel?" " I should think I did/ said the old man. " Me and Sprinkel mined together and lived in this ere cabin, and eat off that ere table. When he came here he brought a wee baby said his wife died crossing the Isthmus. I allers thought he lied, for the baby had some nice things that I knowed didn t belong to him. It had a gold box, with two real pretty pictures in it. I fed the child myself, and the wee thing would look up and laugh, and did not seem to know but this was her right home. I allers thought Sprinkel stole the child to make some money on it. He stayed here well on to three months; then he took the little one and went to San Francisco, and I have never seen him since. In picking up his duds he lost a little book filled with writing. I allers thought it was something about that ere baby, so I kept it. I can t read it; maybe you can read it, Miss." The old man went to a chest that stood in one corner of the room and handed Madame Junk the book. She eagerly grasped it, adjusted her spectacles, and began reading, all the time growing white. She looked down the pages and 342 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. handed it to the Senator, who as quickly convinced himself of its contents, while Madame Junk waited in silence for him to decide what step to take next. Looking up, the Senator said: " My good friend, you are right; this book has something to do with the child, who is still living, and this will prove where she belongs. You will let me have ifc, won t you?" " I don t know," said the old man. "You see I have kept it a long time." The Senator, understanding the drift, said : " Of course you should be paid for taking such good care of it." He drew from his pocket a handful of gold, and held several of the shining pieces toward the old man, whose eyes glistened with an insane flash. " Give me the book, and I will give you this." The old man drew a step nearer, leaned over the Sen ator s hand, and looked with glaring eyes. " How much is it?" he asked. " Just an even hundred," said the Senator. " Say fifty more, and the book is j our n." "Not a penny more. The book is mine, or, at least, I shall take it with me, and the hundred dollars is yours if you choose to take it; if not, you shall not have the book nor the money." " This is the way you come to the mountains to rob an old man!" Upon that Madame Junk arose, and laid her hand on the old man s arm. " We are not robbers, but friends that will do you good. Come, go home with us, and you shall have more money than this." Turning to the Senator, Madame Junk said, in an under tone: " "We shall need this man as a witness." " You are right," said the Senator. " Come, my friend! go with us and you shall have more money than this." THE HERMIT OF THE MOUNTAINS. 343 " But I can t take my cabin; I never went away since I built it. They call me the Hermit of the Mountains. A hermit can t go to a city!" " But you can do a great good," said Madame Junk, thinking such a reason would make him comply. The old man began to wake up; maybe he should make something. He began rummaging around his cabin like one possessed with a gold fever. He turned to the Senator and asked if he should take his chest, a rude cupboard and a kitchen table. " The devil! no. Leave everything here except what you have on your back and in your pockets. If you have money, take that." The old man looked longingly up to a piece of fat bacon that hung against the rafters. Madame Junk followed the direction of his eyes and smiled. She read his thoughts, and answered them thus: " Leave that for the chipmunks." "It is a nice bit o bacon," replied the old man, with tears in his voice. At this he began casting about, taking a silent inventory of his household goods, and their intrinsic value was rising at such a rapid rate that Madame Junk and the Senator were in danger of losing him for a witness. Madame Junk stepped up to the Senator, and whispered something in his ear; whereupon he drew from his inside breast-pocket a flask, and, stepping to the rough board table, took up a cracked cup, and asked the old man if he would not like a drink of brandy. The bent figure grew more erect. The blue eyes glistened, and he opened and closed his mouth with a smack that proved he knew the taste of brandy. " It has been a long time since I have had a drop; it will put new life into my old bones." The Senator poured out what he considered to be a fair drink for a man who did not get good things every day, and handed it to the old man. We cannot do justice to a de- 344 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. scription of the old man s motions and mode of conveying half a cup of brandy to his stomach. We only know it tasted good, and, as it were, brought the dead to life again. The old man held the cup to his lips some time after it was emptied. " That was good. A little more, my friend/ he said, reaching the cup toward the Senator. Madame Junk, with that cunning which belongs alone to women, stepped toward the old man, and patted him on the back, and said: " No more now, my good man. When you get to the city, if you need more, the gentleman will give you some." For a moment he seemed to comprehend the manoeuvre, for he answered by, " Ha, ha, ha!" a sort of prolonged cackle. " All the women are devils," said the old man; " and they make men devils. A set of snakes that wind and wind, and bite and bite, till men are dead." He looked at Madame Junk from under his shaggy eyebrows. "Warmed by the brandy in his stomach, his brain grew more active, his memory more acute, and his tongue had a touch of eloquence. "Ha! ha! ha! that is good! So you think the hermit of the mountains, that has lived with the bears for well on to twenty-five years, don t know anything about women? Ha! ha! ha! that is good! Look out for em, Sir; look out for em. They be devils, every one of em, Sir; they be devils. They be weasels, Sir; every one of em, Sir. They be foxes, every one of em, Sir. I know the whole kit of em, Sir. They will let all your blood out, drink it up, and ask for more, Sir; they will, Sir. I had one of em, Sir; she robbed me, Sir; broke my heart and run away with my best friend, Sir." The old man s brandy gave vent to a flood of tears. To speak in the words of Artemus "Ward, if he was going to " slop over" in that way, the Senator s brandy-flask stood a chance of giving out. It was finally decided the old man SMALL ELEPHANTS. 345 should have another small drink to dam up his tears, and to dam up, if possible, the flood-gates that seemed likely to deluge women and wash them off the face of God s foot stool. Another small drink made the old man consent to leave his fat bacon and other valuables, and journey toward civilization in company with respectable human beings. Madame Junk s knowledge of the laws of health led to some warm discussions with the Senator in regard to the old man s diet. The Senator was feeding the old man too well. Not being used to it, Madame Junk affirmed that it "vould make him ill. " The devil! Let the old man have enough to eat," said tlie Senator, as he loaded his plate at the different places where they stopped for refreshments. " If I had lived in that wild place for twenty-two years, I think I should be able to masticate a broiled elephant at one meal." " Possibly," said Madame Junk, with a smile; "but it vould be one meal; you would never live to eat another. So if you want this man to live until we reach our journey s end, please serve him with very small elephants." " I will follow your advice; and when we arrive in the city I will hand him over to you to be put through a course of catmeal diet in the Keformatory Home." " Ishan t starve him," said Madame Junk, a little nettled at thi; last remark. I tlink by the time they arrived in the city, without the least exaggeration, the old man had gained three pounds. His mind had grown wondrously bright, his mem ory begin to revive, and if he continues to gain as rapidly he will to spared the necessity of entering the Reformatory Home. CHAPTER XLI. TALK IX WASHINGTON. EATED in the drawing-room of our Madison Avenue mansion, amid its ancient appointments, are Joel and Albert; they are not alone. Mr. and Mrs. Fletcher are there. Mrs. Fletcher looks as if she had recently suffered severe mental agitation; her eyes are red with frequent weeping. " My answer must be the same as it was three days age. No, Sir; if you have the least doubt in your mind in regaid to the matter, I could not for a moment entertain your gen erous offer." Mrs. Fletcher looked at Joel in the most ; m- ploring way, and, in a quiet but still beseeching tone, as^ed him to reflect; for her sake, not to give too hasty an answer She had never doubted that he was her child. Mr. Fletcher checked this rising motherly tumult irMrs. Fletcher s breast by remarking: " It is not in accordance with common sense to say t-iat she had no doubt. Doubt there must be, and ever woud be." The old gentleman walked from one end of the room to the other, with his hands folded. The fact was the old gentleman, at this ten o clock A. M., was dispose! to make concessions, if he could do so without compronising his pride. When he found that this boy absolutely r fused to be accepted upon any condition, except a true le.al one, Mr. Fletcher was actually pleased. He thought he saw the Fletcher pride; he saw the Fletcher code of Jonor that be longed to the " F. F. V. s." There was lothing of the plebeian upstart in that. It will never be jnown whether (346) MAKING HIS HEAD SPIN. 347 lie was doing tins to try Joel or not, or if lie really doubted. Mr. Fletcher held a long conversation with Albert Mayo; he learned all that young gentleman knew of Joel. Many times he winced when Albert related the story of Joel s serv ing the prisoners with papers. " What sort of a person is this Madame Junk ?" asked Mr. Fletcher. " Why, she is a good woman, but a little strange. She has always been turning the world upside down, and always helping the poor." " Then she is a woman of wealth?" " She has just received a little money; but up to this time she has always been as poor as a church mouse. She is a sort of a female Pickwick." " I should say so." When Albert- spoke of Joel, which he frequently did in these conversations, he called him the very soul of honor; he told the old gentleman of Joel s great oratorical powers when a mere child, and how, when a little boy, he made stump speeches, and really elected Amos Goliah Smith; how Senator Smith had ever since been a champion of Joel; how proud the Senator would be to have Joel for a son-in-law; at last, how everybody loved him. Then he told all about Joel s great talent as a lawyer. The reader must pardon Albert if he went in with the intention of making Mr. Fletcher s head spin with his praise of Joel. His motive was a good one. " Yes! yes! I see he is a most exemplary young man, and with pride enough to be a Fletcher." At such times a glow of pride and love beamed upon his face. " So he has gone by the name of Joe Junk all these years. Horror! what a name ! It seems you have been a sworn friend to him since first you knew him?" " Yes; and I felt honored to be so." " And that miserable curse hung himself, did he ? Well, that is good. What am I to do?" said Mr. Fletcher, turning 348 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. abruptly about in his walk and looking up at the young Hercules, who stood with one elbow leaning on the mantel. " If we can t agree it will break his mother s heart." " If you ask my opinion, I shall say it is best to throw all doubt overboard. I know your son; his pride and honor have always been a stumbling-block in his way." " This very pride is as much evidence to me as any that has been brought to bear. Young man, the first thing we should guard is our honor. I wish this was settled. "Will you tell him for me, all doubts are dispelled?" " It is your love Joel wants." The devil !" said Mr. Fletcher, with a very red face. " He had that the moment I saw him. You must consider, young man, what a very strange situation it is. He is a stranger to me. I must know him. Why, bless my stars, it is over twenty years since he was stolen from us. How can it be expected I shall be at home with him in a day ?" Albert ventured to remark that his mother was, and seemed to love him with the same intense feeling as if she had known him all these years. " "Well, well, that may be; women are different from men in that respect. "What I most dislike is the comments of the press. I must bring him out and introduce him in "Washington society." And the old gentleman muttered to himself " Junk! Junk! that is the worst of it." Albert had a mammoth lump of laughter in his stomach, and it was with the greatest effort he kept it from popping out of his mouth as he witnessed Mr. Fletcher s discom fiture over the word Junk. " I should say, Sir, a man with your superior station could squelch the press if it should attempt any bombast over the name of Junk. "Write an article yourself, making a clear statement, and I venture to say the press won t peep the word Junk in your ears." Mr. Fletcher, being of a good-natured turn of mind, actually laughed. NO PLACE LIKE CALIFORNIA. 349 " I "will take your advice, young man; there is wisdom in it. I will write such an article as will admit of no discus sion upon the matter/ " You see, Sir, the press here is not likely to get hold of all the little ins and outs of Joel s life in California. I will have my uncle write an article on such and such facts as I can give him, concerning the wonderful things Joel has done." " Your uncle?" "Yes; he is a D.D., Rev. L. Mayo. He has written several works on theology. However, I have never read one of them; they are quite too dry for me." " I have," replied Mr. Fletcher; ct and allow me to con gratulate you on coming from so gifted a family. Indeed, I am astonished!" taking quite another view of Albert from what he had taken before. "I shall be pleased, young man, if you will make my house your home this winter/ " Much as I appreciate your hospitality, I cannot avail myself of it. I must return to California/ " I fancy it would be a great pleasure for Joel to have you remain through the winter. Everything must be so strange. I have my fears about his being quite happy." " Suppose you and your lady should return with us, and spend the winter in California. You have never visited our State, I believe?" " No, I have been on the eve of making the trip several times, when something would occur to prevent." "I assure you, Sir," said Albert, with some warmth in his tone, " you would be taken with our climate; and, as a matter of health, there is no place in the world where people can so well recuperate their strength as in California." "Yes, yes! I have so understood," said Mr. Fletcher, with a very considerate expression upon his face. Then Albert began to warm with the subject of California. He spoke at length about the orange groves, the hot-house plants that grew outdoors all winter, and were even freshest 35O MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. and brightest then; of strawberries in January, and the rapid growth of everything. In short, no twenty-cent book ever contained half such a glowing account as Albert gave Mr. Hoen Fletcher in half an hour. By the time Albert had warmed up, Mr. Fletcher had decided to visit California, in company with his wife and new-found son. He would view the scenes -of the boy s early life; he would see this queer Madame Junk; he would cross palms with this great-hearted woman who had so befriended Joel. As soon as a letter could go from Washington to Califor nia, so soon the news came that Joel would return in com pany with his father and mother. Albert s letter was to his parents, and his great joy gave vent to such phrases as made his mother say, Why! why!" and made the father laugh. We will quote a few lines to give the reader the drift: " Mother, tell Madame Junk to spread the news. I want this old Virginia coon to have a flowery reception. The Senator will do the handsome thing, I know. I have bragged so much about the California flowers that I want bouquets made not smaller in size than a washtub, and a large one at that, and plenty of them, too. They say Miss Carrie Smith writes very pretty poetry. If you can get Miss Busy to suggest the writing of a few lines over the words Welcome to California/ I shall feel pleased. Mr. and Mrs. Fletcher will be our guests for a time. Tell father to shell out. Have the four-in-hand in good condition, for I intend to show old Virginia the California elephant. We will make him, at least for a few weeks, dispense with his old-time notions and conservative rules. Mrs. Fletcher is a lady, both in feelings and manners. Don t be jealous, mother: I love her almost as well as I do you. I have wished a hun dred times she had a daughter just as handsome and just as really grand as she is. I should be willing to go to my grave broken-hearted just for the privilege of kneeling at her feet, and telling her that I worshiped her. I don t think old Virginia was very much taken with me at first; but he is all attention now. He fancies he has discovered that I arn not so plebeian as my looks and outspoken way denote. Old Virginia is very tenacious of his honor. He is as proud as Lucifer. Tell father to order some flower- OLD VIRGINIA AND THE QUEEN OF SHEBA. 351 vases made in the form of a ship, and mind they are large, full-rigged, and stowed with the choicest flowers in all Cali fornia. I will telegraph you the day w r e shall arrive, and I want a proper delegation of friends to meet us. I want old Virginia to feel pretty much as the Queen of Sheba did when she visited Solomon that half of his wealth had not been told/ Such was the manner in which Albert expressed himself in his letter to his mother. Sternna s fame was widespread. Her picture of "Res cued" was talked of and written of as the best painting ever exhibited by an American lady. The Senator was proud of his picture. He was delighted to speak of it and explain the significant points to those who had not sense enough to comprehend them without such explanations. We hope the reader will pardon us for using our own words to describe this painting in place of the words of the Senator. The Senator was wont to say: How in the world the girl could have made it so true, is more than I can see. She has never been South, and has seen very few colored people." JHE PICTURE. The artist leads you to a Southern swamp, where the reed grows so high that it was chosen by the fugitive slaves as a hiding-place, for the deadly vapor arises there and for bids the approach of their oppressors. "VVe see a group of slaves concealing themselves from the enemy, huddling to gether in despair and dwelling over the past. There is a strong figure of a negro couched upon a bunch of reed, and resting his bowed head in his right hand, his left arm placed about the shoulders of his wife, who is leaning her head on him, while on her lap lies an infant on whom she looks with a careworn expression in her eyes. Her child is ill. To pro tect it from the poisonous vapor of the swamp, the father has removed his upper garment, which leaves his shoulders bare. How the mother watches the breathing of the little 352 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. one, watching with an anxious mother-heart the opening of those eyes that are closed in sickly sleep ! With this group the artist has touched our deepest sympathy. What a feel ing of depression steals on us! To lighten the shadow that falls over us, our eye is taken to a figure close behind this group. Parting the reeds is a negro boy, who turns his head toward the group with eyes made bright through hope, and open mouth that seems to speak. Through the reeds, which his hands have parted, we see what brought this sud den joy. Far away we see the figure of a woman waving aloft a piece of white cloth, the signal of relief, for, in the distance is the flying enemy pursued by the "Union troops. The tents in the abandoned camp, the burning ruins, com bined with the smoke of battle driven by the morning Avinds, formed the horizon, over which a streak of dawning light arose in all its glory; a contrast that was heightened by dark and heavy clouds that hung over it. The harmony of colors, the division of light and shade, accorded so wonder fully with the composition, and with the thought and action of the figures, that it at once impressed itself upon the memory forever. The poetic thought of the picture was supported by the true interpretation of nature, and painted in a technic which was free from that embarrassment that shows the mere pupil. It was the broad and sure handling of a brush like that of Rosa Bonheur. There was nothing in the picture that was not clear; it spoke out itself. The expression of the faces, the delineation of the forms, pre sented such a masterly conception as we find in the com positions of the world s greatest historical painter, Paul Delaroche. CHAPTEK XLII. THE REFORMATORY HOME. " O O you were in Scotland ? " O "Yes," replied Mr. Stanly; "I spent some months there, and most delightfully, I assure you. The Earl has two brothers and one sister. I happened to be with the family at the time the news arrived of the Earl s death. They expressed themselves very warmly against the French people for acting so inconsiderately toward the young American lady. They had long expected his sudden demise, he having been predisposed to the heart complaint since his sad visit to this country." "Stanly, your evidence will prove invaluable in placing this young lady where she belongs." " Yes, I think my statement will have weight. They are reasonable people, and when once convinced of a fact will accept it gracefully. They are not people to be hoodwinked. I do not deem it best to take a legal attitude toward them as yet," said Mr. Stanly. t( Have you all the evidence together?" Yes, and it is a long list." "Where is Bory?" "He is with Sternna, and refuses to leave her." That is good, and will go far toward convincing the Earl s family." " Miss Sternna is the guest of Miss Busy, is she not?" "Yes; my house is her home whenever she wishes to make it so; but she is so considerate for the feelings of others, that is, she feared that Miss Busy and Mother Junk 23 ( 353 ) 354 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. would feel hurt if she did not remain with them. By the way, Stanly, what do you think of Madame Junk s Reform atory Home ? " " It will doubtless be a failure," returned Mr. Stanly, with a smile. She is a woman of large ideas, but in advance of the age." " In regard to those things I am not willing to say that. It is several years ago that she called upon me and proposed this project for building what she called a Prison Reform. It was the time I was up the second term for Congress, and I actually believe I won my election through her and Joel. She kept that boy running from morning until night. It is doubtful if a greater amount of campaigning was ever done by two persons. I look upon Madame Junk as a woman of great force of character, and as far as this Reformatory Home is concerned I am determined it shall not be a fail ure. Any one who had nursed a pet scheme so long as she has this, is worthy of success. I don t want a word said about it, but I am going to have a bill passed making an appropriation toward supporting it. Have you seen it ? " "No." * It is a fine-looking edifice. Suppose we drive out. The morning is fine." " Certainly," said Mr. Stanly. The Senator stepped to the door, and sent an order for the groom to bring the bays around, with a one-seated car riage. The gentlemen drew on their gloves, and were soon seated behind a spanking team. During this drive they smoked cigars, and talked of Madame Junk s home. " lam told that Madame Junk has a powerful aide-de-camp in one Mrs. Glewer," said the Senator. " They say she is a perfect queen of a woman clear-headed and as sound in her judgment as any judge in the country. Why, she car ries on a business that employs forty men." " Indeed! She must be a masculine woman." " They say not. She is called very modest," A VISIT TO THE HOME. 355 " An old maid, I presume." " Not a bit of it: a handsome widow. She was married quite young to a churl of a fellow." " Has she children?" " Not of her own. She adopted one a boy, and has given him a good education. Gossips were busy at the time, and said the boy belonged to her husband, and that she knew it, and adopted him for that reason." " If that is true, she must be a wonderful woman." " Yes; such a woman must be a miracle. Most women kick up a fine halibaloo over a mishap of that sort," said the Senator. " Yes, that is a wife s privilege." By this time they came within sight of the home for re forming depraved humanity; it stood upon a rise of ground, and in size and outlay fully answered Mr. Stanly s expecta tions. A boy who stood near the large gate swung it back, and the gentlemen drove in. They landed in front of the house; they began rambling through the rooms, whose unfinished walls the workmen were lathing up with great activity. While Mr. Stauly and the Senator were making the pilgrimage of the Home, they suddenly came upon Madame Junk and Kate Glewer. " Oh! ah! Good morning, Madame Junk," said the Sen ator, stepping in and shaking hands in his urbane manner. " Good morning, Mr. Stanly," said Madame Junk. " This is an honor quite unlooked for." Kate stood looking confused, this being the first time she had met either of the gentlemen a fact Madame Junk seemed likely to forget, for she kept on chatting in a pleasant way until she was reminded by the Senator, who said : " Is this the lady who has so kindly offered to assist you in this noble work ?" " I beg your pardon," said Madame Junk. "Mrs. Glewer, allow me to introduce you to Senator Smith. Senator Smith, Mrs. Glewer." 356 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. The Senator muttered his thanks about the pleasure it gave him to meet Mrs. Glewer. " Mr. Stanly, Mrs. Glewer a very dear friend, who has rendered me more service than all my other friends put together." Mr. Stanly bowed to Kate with marked respect. Kate raised her eyes, and as they looked out from the broad brim of her straw hat and rested for a moment on Mr. Stanly s face, she looked really beautiful. The Senator was looking at Kate with pure admiration. Her modest demeanor, her beauty, her frank outspoken look, combined with what the Senator had heard about her, made her an object of curi osity. Mr. Stanly was not a man that showed what he thought or felt. " Madame Junk, will it be encroaching upon your time if we ask you to give us a little insight into this institu tion ?" "Oh! of course not; I feel honored that you are so much interested." So the four made a tour of inspection. Madame Junk kept her tongue going as if it were hung in the middle with a clapper at both ends. She told what this room was for, and what that room was for. " Here is the dining-room; and there is the chapel, where I shall hold morning prayers." " I shall be sure to come and dine with you," said the Senator, with a smile. " You shall be made welcome," returned the lady. Mr. Stanly s face wore a serious expression during this conversation. Looking at Kate, he spoke as if addressing his remarks to her. " This is a very large undertaking for a woman alone." " Yes, Sir," said Kate, in clear outspoken tones. " Mad ame Junk will doubtless find it larger than she anticipated. It is not so difficult to erect a building and fill it with in mates, but to run it and make it self-supporting is another LEST A MAN BE BORN AGAIN. 357 matter. As it is, I trust there will be competent persons who understand the system to counsel with Madame Junk in this benevolent enterprise." " So you believe this institution should be a self-sustain ing one?" " I do, Sir, as far as possible. I see no reason why any charity institution should not be self-supporting, with the exception of hospitals and orphan asylums; and even those can be made in a measure so." " Then the sick are not to be received here?" "This is a place," said Kate, " for reforming men and women who are released from prison and cannot find em ployment elsewhere." " You know," said Madame Junk, turning round and ceasing her conversation with the Senator, " you see it is like this: this is a home where men and women may be fitted for the kingdom of heaven. You know that Jesus said, Lest a man be born again, he cannot enter the king dom of heaven. Those words are to be cut in the stone over the door that leads into this home." " I wish you all success in your undertaking," said Mr. Stanly. Madame Junk turned again to the Senator and picked up a stitch in her knitting, and went on edifying him as be fore, while Kate and Mr. Stanly were left to themselves. " Then this seems to be more a house of worship than otherwise," said Mr. Stanly. " If I had the writing of the inscription over the door, I fear I should make it read : A man or woman who will not earn bread cannot enter here. I should say nothing about the kingdom of heaven," said Kate, with a smile. " I agree with you," replied Mr. Stanly; " that would be by far the best motto." Kate further expressed her views by saying: " If Madame Junk succeeds in fitting them for the kingdom of heaven, to use an old adage, she will have killed two birds with one 35 8 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. stone, for those who are fitted for the kingdom of heaven, if they are well, will never eat the bread of dependence." "That is it, that is it," said Madame Junk, hearing the last remark, and turning again to the Senator; "there is wisdom in that remark. There is a sermon in a nutshell. 3 * The Senator had not been so fortunate as to hear this remark, and Madame Junk had the pleasure of repeating it and throwing in such little embellishments as her fancy dic tated. Of course, it was a knock-down argument, that not even the Senator, with all of his old-time oratorical eloquence, dared to dispute. Most certainly, dear reader, any one with half an eye can see when a human being in good physical health is fitted for the kingdom of heaven he is fitted to live on earth and earn his own food and raiment. Mr. Stanly thanked Madame Junk for the information given this morning. The Senator said he was afraid they should have to leave them could not stay always and such other pleasant nothings as were considered current compli ments. As the two gentlemen drove out the gate the sound of the horses hoofs could be heard upon the hard gravel road. The sea breeze fanned their faces, and with their thoughts upon Madame Junk and the handsome widow they were altogether refreshed by their morning drive. "Well, what did you think of the Home?" asked the Senator. " It is a fine building, and well planned." "What do you think of the widow ? " "Which one?" asked Mr. Stanly, as if he did not know; " they are both widows, are they not?" "Why, the handsome one, to be sure. When we refer to two women, and one is young and handsome and the other old and ugly, we mean the handsome one." "Well, Senator, to tell the truth, if I wished to marry I would marry that woman if she would have me." "And if I were a single man, on the marrying list, you would find a rival in me. I think her a most remarkable THEY THOUGHT HER A REMARKABLE WOMAN. 359 woman, one that any man might be proud to introduce into the most aristocratic circles. 5 "I think you are drawing it rather strong," said Mr. Stanly; "there is a lack of tone or style, as if her society had not been of the right order; but she is a woman gifted with a large amount of intelligence, quick to adapt herself to circumstances, and, as I said before, if I was a marrying man, she would be the woman of my choice." Clip, chap, trip, clap, was the talk of the horses hoofs as they sped along, and when the conversation opened again it was over the British House of Lords. We will leave the two gentlemen to discuss this topic as they ride home, and we will go back to the Home with the motto, " Lest a man be born again he cannot enter the king dom of heaven." "What did you think of the Senator and Mr. Stanly?" asked Madame Junk of Kate as soon as the two gentlemen were safely out of hearing." " The Senator is warm-hearted and a genial soul. Why, he is as kind as can be." " He is all of that," said Madame Junk; " I have known him many years, and he is always the same. But that is not telling me what you think of Mr. Stanly." " Mr. Stanly is a cool man, but true in his feelings. He is moral, and inclined to do right, but with a great amount of pride." " Do you think he has too much pride ?" " He has too much to suit me." "He is a very worthy gentleman," said Madame Junk. "And if I were as young and handsome as you are, I should set my cap for him; that is, if I ever intended to marry again." " I am not in the cap-setting business," replied Kate, a little tartly, as they proceeded to set out the strawberry bed. CHAPTER XLIII. FROM WASHINGTON TO CALIFORNIA PREPARATIONS FOR THE RECEPTION THE REFORMATORY HOME THE ARRIVAL-JOEL AND CARRIE MEET. MR. AND MRS. FLETCHER, Joel and Albert, were on their way to California. They would cross the Rocky Mountains by rail. It was a happy release for Joel; it would allow him to glide into his new place with more ease, avoiding the shoals and quicksands of "Washington society criticism. It was Mr. Fletcher s intention to send Joseph abroad. Mr. Fletcher changed Joel s name to Joseph. Yes, he should go to France, and remain a year or so, just to get the Junk off from him. Joe Junk and Joseph Fletcher were to be henceforth and for evermore two separate indi viduals. There must be a wide difference between them. Mr. Roen Fletcher had his misgivings about his son Joseph ever becoming wholly free from his cosmopolitan, plebeian opinions in regard to the equal rights of humanity. For, be it understood, Mr. Fletcher did not believe in equal rights, or civil rights, or any other rights, save the right of knowl edge over ignorance, and the right of wealth over poverty, and the right to boast of a long line of noble ancestry. "VVe are unable to say how much of Mr. Fletcher s principles would have adhered to Joel, provided his father had brought him up. "We only know that now he is filled as full as a junkshop with liberal views. These views are a heterogene ous mass from all quarters of the globe, embracing only the good in every faith, every clime, and every nation under the sun. Mr. Fletcher, in drawing Joel out on the subject of poli- (360) THE DRAGOMAN OF THE PARTY. 361 tics, found him well informed. He found the young man well posted in the history of every party, from the time it was born up to its death. Mr. Fletcher was a strong party man, but saw the hopelessness of ever making one of Joel, who boldly affirmed that he would ever sustain the best man, to whatever party he might belong. This was the rock they were likely to split on; this was the subject the mother most dreaded to be discussed. Albert knew too well that Joel was firm. " Joe, why the devil will you be so vehement ? There is time enough for you five years from now. Don t you see how you vex the governor with your opposite views." " I did not intrude my views. When they are called for, I cannot see why I should mask them." " Now, look here, Joe. I am the dragoman of this party, and I don t want any jargon going on that I don t under stand. I shall feel responsible for all the hubbubs on this journey. I want the old gent to feel as happy and cosy as a bride on her wedding tour. Save your steam, Joe. I think the boiler to the engine will hold enough to fetch us through without your getting up any of yours." Thereafter Albert entertained Mr. Fletcher in every pos sible way, leaving Joel to his mother. The days that passed in social commune with her child were among the happiest of Mrs. Fletcher s life. They talked of nature, the wild In dians, the open plains. In those days the mother and son became acquainted. They came near to each other. There was no longer restraint; the shy, strange feeling was all gone. The maternal heart that opens its door for a child was pul sating with new life. The mother had opened a new world to Joel. His pride was touched. To know that this glorious woman was his mother crowned his happiness. It seemed that all of his aims had been achieved. He was no less proud of his father, but still there was an insurmountable barrier that seemed to loom up between them the moment they made \6 362 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. the attempt to approach each other. As long as they con fined themselves to conventional formality all went well; but the approach of anything like familiarity brought dis sension at once. Mr. Fletcher grew more and more attached to Albert. Mrs. Fletcher had not known her husband to laugh so much in years. Albert had announced his intention of showing the old Virginia coon the California elephant. As the train speeds along they will ere long come in sight of his tusks. At Cape Horn the warm sun came out, shining upon the green grass and adown the mountain sides, rest ing in the valley upon the trees and little huts that here and there were squatted among this grand and picturesque scenery. The foliage glistened with the morning dew; the songs of the birds, the soft genial air, all tended to hatch out a brood of birdlings in Mr. Fletcher s heart. They began to chirp and twitter and dance over his face in a marvelous way. Meanwhile, elaborate preparations were going on in San Francisco to receive them. If bouquets were not the size of a large washtub, there were large hearts and bright eyes in anticipation of the coming guests. If the Queen of Sheba had been coming, with her retinue, we doubt if she would have created a greater sensation. Albert was right in his conjectures in regard to Madame Junk s giving a hint here and there as to the proper way of receiving the old Virginia coon." But we fear if that good lady had been left to herself, that on the arrival of the guests she would have escorted them to the Reformatory Home for depraved humanity. If another convict should pass to that "bourne from which no traveler returns," and thus generously build a bridge that ethers may glide easily over, we shall expect to hear that Madame Junk has built another home, over whose door will be written: " Come, all ye that are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest;" or, " It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a SHOWING THE CALIFORNIA ELEPHANT. 363 rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven." Seeing this as we do from a liberal standpoint, we should say the rich man who kindly builds a home in order that the poor man may be fitted for heaven, has secured his own passport far more deservedly than if he had built a dome that reached up to the sky. If the man or woman w r ho cares for some of God s large poor family, and provides them with the means of earning an honest living, who visits the sick and afflicted, if such a man has the ability to amass wealth while his poor brother has not, we cannot see why he should be denied heaven for this reason; or why he should hand it over for general use without any better security than that story about the camel and the eye of the needle. Kate Glewer gave all her spare time in aiding Madame Junk in her charitable project. In fact, Madame Junk had come to look on this strong resolute woman with such con fidence, that she scarce made a move without her advice. The Reformatory Home for depraved humanity was now ready to be opened. The furnishing of the Home involved much contriving as to what would be the most useful and desirable articles of furniture. Carpets were not to be thought of, except on two rooms. " But men will not scrub floors," said Madame Junk. " Do you expect to have more men than women?" said Kate. " Yes." "In this I think you will be mistaken. There are ten dissolute women to one man." "Maybe; but not in regard to drinking intoxicating liquors." " But that is not the only vice. "We shall find ten idle women to one man," said Kate. "I tell you, Madame Junk, that unless you intend to make the inmates of this Home work, it will be a failure. It will be a place to breed mischief, instead of a place of reform. We cannot make it a home of luxury and ease, for even now we must trust 364 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. to liberal contributions to carry out this undertaking. We must dispense with useless adornments. A library is neces sary, and let it be of such books as will best instruct the people in laws of health and industry. We have useful books written on agriculture. I would not advise books too profound for the unthinking mind." " Every inmate must have a Testament/ said Madame Junk. " Certainly," replied Kate; "but the progress of the age demands other books as well. I think one good teacher will answer for the present; for, believe me, there will be men and women who will come here to be reformed who can neither read nor write their names. Men and women who are ignorant of the first rudiments of education can never make useful citizens; and we will take the standpoint that they must be made into useful citizens before they can enter the kingdom of heaven/ said Kate, with a smile. " That is so. What a pity I have never finished my book on the Proper Propagation of the American Kace; it would be such a desirable acquisition to the Keformatory Home." If Kate had her doubts about this book being just the class of literature for the inmates of the Home, she did not say so to Madame Junk. In the selection of all things, frugality w T as Kate s motto, and she held on to this virtue as tenaciously as Madame Junk held on to that of being born again. Industry and frugality were the standards Kate fought under. " There will be no necessity of our giving out money for Testaments," said Kate. Madame Junk threw up her hands. " Why, are we not in need of them?" " To be sure; but I have a little project in my head by which we may obtain them without paying cash down." Madame Junk lowered her hands, and waited to be in formed; for as a financier she was not a success. She could spend money freely, but to make it was not in her line. EIGHT LIGHT-KIDGLOVED MEN. 365 " I thought to insert a little advertisement in all the daily papers for all those Avho have spare Bibles and Testaments, and who feel kindly inclined toward this Reformatory Home, asking all such to donate Bibles and Testaments for the benefit of the inmates. There are plenty of families who have any number on hand that are never looked into. By advertising in this way, we shall get a car-load, and what we receive over and above our own needs we can trade with some secondhand book dealer for other books." Madame Junk was rolling her apron strings around her forefinger. Do you think an old Bible will answer them like a bright new Bible, with gilt edges ?" " Yes; those who can comprehend them will be just as pleased. However, I do not think we shall receive those that are badly thumbed; the most of them will be as good as new; they are not usually much worn. Besides, if we attempt to get things up in gilt edge, our money will give out before we have fairly begun." Madame Junk saw the point, and acquiesced. " What are those eight men standing there for?" said Mr. Fletcher, pointing out of the car window toward eight light- kidgloved men, gotten up in the latest mode, who stood very nearly in a row, with the most beautiful bouquets Mr. Fletcher ever beheld. What are they about ?" Albert saw an opportunity to blow a blast for his beloved California; and how he improved it we shall shortly see. " Why, Bistori is on the train," said Albert; " and those gentlemen you see are the agents from the leading photog raphers sent out to present flowers, and invite the honor of a sitting." "Indeed!" " Yes; I expect when you arrive it will not be more than half a day before a whole army of these men will be after you, each one clamoring that you come to their place first." 366 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. "Why," said Mr. Fletcher, " they are as much of a as the New York hackdrivers. I suppose they expect a man to pay liberally for such attentions ?" " There you are mistaken. These photographers have the most taking way with them; they not only send men out five hundred miles to meet distinguished guests, but they send with them the choicest flowers, and pay your carriage hire. After you have sat for a picture they give you all you can carry on your back." Possible!" "Yes, they do. When Henri Rochefort was to arrive, boats were sent out representing the different firms. One man, in scrambling up the sides of the ship to be the first to present his bouquets, and secure the first sitting, was so loaded down with flowers on his back that he fell into the sea and met a watery grave. M. Eochef ort was so overcome with, the death of this brave man that he forswore the whole set." " There must be some motive in such generosity," said Mr. Fletcher. "Ah no! not that I know of. Calif ornians do not stand at trifles. "I should say not," said the old gentleman, looking at Albert from the corners of his eyes, as much as to say, " I am green.". . . ."Yes, yes, I see; California is a wonderful country for flowers and boys. Everything is done on a large plan here." " I m no pattern," said Albert, and he began singing a little ditty which was then going the rounds : " Plant a tenpenny nail at night, in the morning they do say The same will be a crowbar in Calif orni a." Agreeably to Albert s suggestion, a proper delegation was on hand to receive the F. F. V. s. The Mayo turnout was there with its liveried groom and footman, for Albert s father as well as his son took pride in receiving this distin guished Virginia coon with due pomp. The good mother THEY ARRIVE IN CALIFORNIA. 367 rode down to welcome in a kindly, home-like manner Mrs. Fletcher. From the moment of the first greeting between the two good mothers there was a perfect understanding, although as totally unlike as two women could be in all things save kind feelings and motherly love. Between all true mothers there is a bond of sympathy; though wide apart in all other things, in motherhood they are equal. Our good mother, with her short dampy figure and round face, looked sadly at disadvantage beside the tall, aristocratic style of Mrs. Fletcher. Albert s father was far from being a nonentity; for what rich man can be that? Besides, he came from a good family. More than all that, he had aris tocratic notions, and felt that the blood in his veins was not watered, and like a good father he had always endeavored to make Albert feel the same. The Senator was one of the first to pay his respects to Mr. and Mrs. Fletcher. As for Joel, Mr. Smith looked upon him as one of his own family; and indeed there was more real sympathy between the Senator and Joel than there was between Mr. Fletcher and Joel. There was a mixture of sadness and surprise upon Mr. Fletcher s face as he witnessed the meeting of Joel and the Senator. There was a warmth on the part of both; there was an evident feeling of everlasting friendship. A glow of pride suffused the Senator s face; his feelings moistened his eyes and caused his voice to quiver. He did not congratulate Joel, but he congratulated Mr. Fletcher in language that came from the heart. Next to call and welcome Joel was Madame Junk. She was dressed in the same antique black brocade, with a ruff of real lace about her neck. With the exception of a bon net more modern, she was dressed the same as when she first solicited the Senator for the building of a prison reform. Her greeting to Joel was more reserved; she felt sensitive but glad, and too happy to talk in her general voluble way. She made no move to kiss Joel until he bent 368 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. down and kissed her. Placing his arm within hers, he led her up to his Mother Fletcher. " Mother, this is Mrs. Junk, the good w r oman who has ever cared for me when I had no other friend. I shall always call her mother. She is the first one I remember. 33 Mrs. Fletcher, with the true instinct of a lady, held both hands toward Madame Junk, who passively laid her hands in Mrs. Fletcher s, and looked into her eyes. She saw too much there; she did not venture a word. Mrs. Fletcher was the first to speak, and in a low tone she said: " We shall know each other better." Mr. Fletcher arose and came toward the group. " Father, this is my Mother Junk. I hope we shall not forget that Junk has been my name for years, and if we respect ourselves we must respect the name of Junk." Mr. Fletcher held out one hand. " Madame, we are under many obligations to you." Madame Junk looked hurt; but, recovering her feelings, she answered him: " No, Sir! You are under no obligations to me; you are under obligations to God for restoring to you a son who is beloved by all who know him." " There, there, mother!" said Joel, in his old playful way, " no one is under obligations but me. Obligation, Sir, is not quite the word to use to one whom I have always looked upon as mother. The word may not seem cool and strange to you, but to us, who have lived together and suffered to gether, there can be no obligation. Can there be, mother?" said Joel, in a playful way, thinking to dam up the tears he saw coursing down Madame Junk s face. "No, no, Joel!" said Madame Junk, wiping her eyes, " we are not strangers. Much as I rejoice in your good fortune and family name, I can never consider you under obligation. I only ask a place in your memory; and you are not the Joel you used to be if you don t give it to me." "You shall have that, and more than that. Where are MISS BUSY AND THE F. F. V. s. 369 those principles you have taught me? Have I forgotten them all in a few short months? From a little child you taught me to despise mean, cowardly things, and I know of nothing so cowardly as to turn my back on a long-tried friend. I should be little credit to my own father and mother were I capable of such meanness," said Joel, low ering, with flashing eyes, at his father. "No, no, my good Mother Junk! Joe will never turn the cold shoulder to you." Mr. Fletcher winced at this last remark. Miss Busy then appeared upon the scene, anxious to pay her respects to the F. F. V. s. Her bonnet-strings were of the usual length, black as jet, and without a rumple. She walked with a nip, and her correct language was calculated to impress those who saw her that she was from a good fam ily, and born right. Joel presented her with due ceremony. There was a small effort on the part o f Miss Busy to im press old England upon the F. F. V. s. The conversation carried on between Mr. Fletcher and Miss Busy was very learned, and the result was that Mr. Fletcher was more than favorably impressed with his son s early teacher. If Mad ame Junk failed to fill the bill, Miss Busy filled it, and there was something over. So take it all in all, Joel s early asso ciates were not to be sneezed at. As for Mrs. Fletcher, had she expressed herself at all, it would have been that she was quite satisfied so far, and even agreeably surprised. But why tarry with old folks when anxious young hearts are beating a double-quick in anticipation of a meeting? The first true love lives a lifetime. It seldom "runs smooth;" but of all the turbulent emotions of the soul, love is the most enduring. True love is conscious of its predes tination. Love feels that one individual soul is singled out to be a companion if not in this world, in the world to come. Love is never separated. Though thousands of miles intervene, love holds silent communion. For kindred hearts there is no space, and for souls open to love there is a language as silent as God s own. It is always difficult to 24 37O MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. tell what people think by what they say, but hearts that know each other by this silent language are never deceived. From the heart of a child we hear its own true feelings, while the feelings of men and women are concealed as years advance. Would Carrie say, " Joel, I like every one papa likes, and you know he likes you? " Would she tell him this now ? It is hardly supposable that a proper young lady would do this. Carrie and Joel thought of each other, but they still did not hasten to meet. Their feelings were too sacred for indifferent lookers-on. Whether the Senator divined something of this or not we are unable to say; at all events, he attacked Joel one day, as follows: "Joe, it seems to me you are rather slighting some of your old friends. Here is Carrie, who has been looking every day for you." Joel stammered, colored, and said something about hav ing so many ways to go; he had by no means forgotten old friends. He would hasten to pay his respects that very day. It was something less than half an hour before Joel was running up the steps of the Senator s residence. He rang and sent up his card. He was ushered in by a servant, who wore quite another expression from that of the servant who ushered in poor Joe Junk several years ago. Things have changed; Joe don t wear cotton gloves three sizes too large for him now, and that, too, for gentility s sake; but he wears well-fitting kids, because it is a mark of self-respect, and the mark of self-respect is a good gauge for the world to measure you by. Joel Fletcher, is written with a pencil, in a clear, bold hand, upon his card. There is nothing osten tatious about our Joel, and never shall be. " Joel ! " " Carrie! " were the first words spoken, as they clasped hands and looked into each other s eyes, after a lapse of little more than five years. "I should have known you anywhere," said Carrie; "your face is the same, but you have grown so tall. Have I changed much, Joel? * JOEL AND CARRIE MEET. 37 1 "Very much," said Joel, never taking his eyes off her face. A little wave of sadness passed over Carrie s face. "I regret that I am changed. I should like to look the very same to you. Joel, I rejoice in your good fortune. That which I have always felt and thought has come true." te There is one reason why I am glad of my good fortune/ "And what may that particular reason be," said Carrie, half suspecting the truth. " Because it brings me nearer to your level socially." "Everyone is near my level socially whom I choose to place there." " Socially, means the opinion of the world; and as one individual can never govern that, there is nothing left for us to do but submit to it." "Ah yes!" sighed Carrie. " Socially, the balance is now in your favor. You belong to an old family, with a long line of ancestry, while the Smiths are a numerous but a very common race of people." "If all I have heard is true, there is one among them who will redeem the Smith world, and do sufficient credit to its past generations." " If you refer to my humble efforts, they will scarce- be noticed, and a few years hence will be quite forgotten." Joel took from his inside breast-pocket a leather letter- case; from this he handed Carrie a piece of paper. She glanced at it, and showed signs of emotion. " Do you believe it ?" " Most certainly. How could I know you, and not be lieve it?" " Then I am glad, and hope it is true." We do not intend to play Paul Pry, and publish to the world everything this true-hearted couple said to each other. Suffice it to say, the wooing was just what it should be; and henceforward Madame Junk will have no occasion to talk in her sleep, asking Joel, "How old did you say the girl was?" then go right along with her dreaming, as if she were com- 372 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. posing a piece of music, changing the notes here and there, until one glad, grand anthem arose to heaven, singing the joy of two souls united in one. Such had been her dreams by night and by day. Joel was about to realize the result of these dreams. CHAPTER XLIV. DEFENSE OF WOMEN SENTIMENT-- TEE FOURTH OF MARCH LARRY O DOODLE WILL BE BORN AGAIN- MISTRESS PUNKS A LIVELY INTEREST IN THE HOME. MR. STANLY had become an active worker in Sternna s behalf, and in a few months had effected much. The Earl of Bc Clue s family were at first disposed to con test Sternna s claim, but gradually gave in to the overwhelm ing evidence brought forward by Mr. Stanly, the Senator, Rory, the Old Hermit, Madame Junk, and the note-book, which was proven to be the actual property of the Earl of Bc Clue. At last they wrote, kindly inviting her to come to the halls of her fathers. The joy of the old servant knew no bounds. " "Whin woll thee go, me lady ?" " Be patient, Rory," said Sternna. " Pinna ye nae I love her woll, me Scotland ?" With all the gratitude Sternna felt toward her friends in America, there was something lacking. They could not understand her. Yes, what she painted was pretty; but the spirit that propels a mighty genius they could not com prehend. Let it not be wondered at if she once more longed to live again in the congenial atmosphere of a world much older in art than our own. Mr. Stanly understood this, and in their conversations she was wont to show something of her feelings. He would often say, "Let not your new position withdraw you from your original purpose." (373) 374 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. Sternna looked at him with a sad wondering expression. "Mr. Stanly, I thought } T OU understood me better. I have but one thought and one ambition, and that is, for my art/ " Ah yes! I know you think so now. Few men, and no women (that I have ever known), can withstand the dazzle of high society life, especially one of your beauty and accom plishments. You have the means to pursue your studies to the bent of your inclinations. You can travel to every part of the world, and paint the varied scenery of every clime. I for one shall regret what the world may term your good fortune if it detracts you from your work. In nine cases out of ten, wealth and high social position are a drawback to genius. All objects that are worth anything must have an incentive; and poverty, obscurity, and the world s lack of appreciation to the spirit that knows its own merit, are only spurs to higher efforts." There was a flush on Sternna s cheek, and an angry flash in her eyes. " So you have never known a woman who could with stand glitter and flattery?" " No, to speak the truth, I never have." " Provided you should meet such a one, I think her spirit would be too masculine to please you. The very folly you claim to despise in woman is most courted by men. The woman who ignores this folly would be termed mascu line. The men who most admire the works of Eosa Bon- heur, say she could never accomplish what she does if she had not a manly spirit. In this way they glorify the woman by loaning that which God originally designed for man. There must be a mistake somewhere. God in His munifi cence made an extravagant pattern, I presume, and to glorify one woman robbed one man of his genius." " You speak with satire. Eosa Bonheur has a masculine genius with a feminine heart." " And yet she is not to be dazed by the glitter of society. A GOOD OX-TEAM. 375 She lives alone in her work; her only incentive is her work. If her genius is outside the usual programme laid down by men for women, it is hers just the same. If God had no clay made up in the form of man that He considered a fit receptacle for so much genius, it was His prerogative to give it to a woman. Had God given it to a man, I do not believe the man would have done Rosa Bonheur s work any better than she has done it." Your enthusiasm proves to me that you look upon genius in a woman as something marvelous, after all." "By no means, when I stop to think. But, doubtless, I am more or less imbued with public prejudice against wo men. The world has so long looked upon woman as the weaker part of creation, that she has come to consider her self so." " Is she not so? Such women as Bosa Bonheur are rare instances," said Mr. Stanly. " Yes; she is rare as a woman, and would be just as rare as a man." Mr. Stanly smiled gravely, and said : " Yes, Rosa Bonheur is a whole team, as far as oxen are concerned." Sternna replied that it was generally thought that Rosa Bonheur s oxen were far better than some men s horses, and for her part she should prefer a good active ox-team to anybody s poor horse-team. Mr. Stanly was more amused than he chose to have the young lady know. He enjoyed her petulance because of his criticism of woman. The reader must not suppose that Mr. Stanly was a man who took pleasure in wounding any lady s feelings. He had a motive. He felt a deep interest in Sternna from the first time he saw her. He knew that long years of study were requisite for her to attain that height to which her genius was capable of leading her. Mr. Stanly spoke truly when he said that he had never known a woman who could 376 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. withstand the flattery of society. He knew, as we all do, that those who would be great in art must, as it were, give up the world. They must create a world of their own, and live apart in it. These favorites of the gods have little business capacity. Mr. and Mrs. Fletcher liked the climate of California so much that their return was postponed for an indefinite period. Besides, there was another reason for remaining. There had been an announcement among those whom Joel was wont to term the hightoners. The flattering comments of the press over said announcement was most pleasing to the old Virginia coon, as Albert Mayo called him. Even Mrs. Fletcher seemed to have taken a new lease of life. The old sorrowful expression was fast giving way to a set tled confidence which speaks of a care to live, and some thing to live for. Madame Junk was, for the time being, diverted from the Reformatory Home for depraved humanity. Coming events of a momentous nature required her attention. Sternna was never known to be so kind and attentive to any other young gentleman as to George Gregory Glewer. The reader who has the least discrimination will see it was not love on her part, neither could it be said to be that class of love belonging to love-sick swains on his. I think every boy can look back to a time in his life when he worshiped some woman older than himself; some woman for whom he had the most profound respect, without knowing why he had set her apart to honor more than all others. Perhaps Sternna understood something of boy s soul-life, for they all have souls, no matter if they do sometimes act as if they had not. Her own great, liberal nature and experience had taught her that all things are not what they seem : at all events, it does not require much knowledge to know that. No person is to blame for being born in low conditions, or outside the legal way laid down by the law; still, the world does in a measure hold such ones responsible. In any class ALL IS BUSTLE AND CONFUSION. 377 of society, from the lowest to the highest, they are looked upon as intruders; they have come into a world they have no right in; perhaps if they could have had any voice in the matter they would not have come. It is not likely that any individual would crowd in where he knows he is not wanted, and will be forever and ever sneered at and told, "I am better than thou." Sternna had been prevailed upon to remain until after the event referred to in our last chapter. She would officiate as one of the bridesmaids, and who so appropriate to act as groomsman as our young Hercules ? All our friends seem to be in bustle and confusion. The two husbands between Miss Busy s eyes seemed to work diligently, getting out old-time relics which were only worn on state occasions. In this instance, Madame Junk dis played a degree of sentiment that was not quite in keeping with the taste of her friends. She announced her intention of wearing that antique brocade silk. "As far as I am concerned/ said Sternna, "I have no objection; but anything so conspicuous as that dress would be, among the modern styles of the day, is not in good taste. People might think you wore it just to be seen; besides, I think it would offend Joel." " You see, I thought," said Madame Junk, sadly, almost tearfully, " as I wore it the first time I called upon the Sen ator, it would be in keeping for me to wear it upon this occasion; but it shall be as you say; I do not wish to offend Joel." Miss Busy had not given up all hope of an alliance with Mr. Stanly, for that gentleman continued to call as of yore, and consult upon general topics. She could not but think that eventually he would wake up to a realizing sense of her worthc Mr. Stanly did appreciate her worth and education; still, she was not a woman he would select to preside at his board. Men who are highly intellectual do not care for a repetition of it in a wife. The brain requires rest and to be 378 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. amused by things which require little or no thought. Be cause a man knows a thing himself, it is no reason why he wants to be plagued to death by complicated questions from a wife. When two highly cultivated people are united, they wear each other out before their time. The constant action of intense thought between two thus united is a constant drain upon the nervous system. Nature, in most instances, being true to herself, seldom makes such matches. Hus band and wife cannot be equal in will-power and intellectual force without both suffering. Mr. Stanly had been an acute observer of these things, and was content to admire women of brain at a distance. Neither would he select a meek one. He liked active women, even energetic, without the desire to dip into all the abstruse sciences, which he considered to be man s especial province. Every man likes women of common sense; they make good wives and sturdy mothers. It had been Mr. Stanly s obser vation that the great men of any country were not usually the offspring of women who were deep in the sciences and arts, but women of strong physical constitutions. Several times had that gentleman and Madame Junk discussed this question. He accepted her views on propagation; and, though rendered in language almost too plain to be delicate, still he was forced to admit their truth. Had Madame Junk been a younger woman, Miss Busy would have been jealous; as it was, she sometimes wished her in Jericho, but that was when Mr. Stanly seemed unusually pleased and laughed at Madame Junk s way of setting forth her peculiar views. Now that the Home for reforming depraved humanity was so near completion, there Avere continued applications from tramps of all grades for admittance; and a sorry-looking lot they were ragged, shoeless, and shiftless. So frequently did these people call to pester and plague, that Madame Junk was forced to have printed upon a large placard : "NOT PREPARED TO RECEIVE INMATES YET. WILL BE OPENED THE FOURTH OF MARCH." GOOD SOIL WHERE PIG-WEED GROWS. 379 Madame Junk was determined, as far as possible, to pay respect to our presidential inaugural day. At all events, there seemed to be a certain significance in her taking the presidential chair in this Home on the fourth of March. It was surprising to see how suddenly the market became flooded with applicants who were willing to vouch for their ability to walk the strait and narrow path. Madame Junk was frequently annoyed by Mrs. Glewer express ing her doubts in regard to the stick-to-it-iveness of the general run of applicants. Kate was willing to lend her hand in trying this reform; but her logic was ever asking, How is it possible to make something out of nothing? Mad ame Junk and Kate sometimes exchanged small jokes over this. Madame Junk said, " Where pig-weed would grow, the soil was good." " But/ said Kate, " these people who express a wish to be born again, with them the rich soil is all on the surface. My fear is that, in digging down, we shall not find sufficient depth for anything good to take root." It will be best for us to look after other characters who are on the road to be born again. " Ah, weal a day! she ll nae take us." " Schfool, vas ist dish yous ton t tinks? He vill dakes us. Ven he vas boor Ich lets he dakes blenty ob tinks. Bretty nigli half der garpets vas mine; pesides, das ist von Ghristian blace. Ha! ha! das ist petter we sleeps mit Ghristian togs den mit der sthreets." "Weal, ye may go first. I ll nae poke me head in the noose." " Ven I makes der ped, you vill lies down, hey?" This conversation was carried on by Jonas Pictpink and his wife as they sat upon Kalph Burns s grave, beneath a willow tree of Madame Junk s planting. They had wandered hither either by accident or design, or moved by the unseen power of the evil spirit that once inhabited the mouldering clay that lay in the grave beneath them. 8o MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOtf. 11 Das vomans vont know us." " Her ee is as steel; she ll know thou. At this moment there came up another bloated vagrant. He was quite as tattered as when he called upon Madame Junk, and she fixed him up, and procured him a job, that so frightened him he ran for his life. Arrah ! and is it yez that will be after being born agin ? Haw! haw! Indade, me birds, tis meself that is looking arter yez. So yez will be after having the old oman born yez agin. It is Larry O Doodle that will be after saying she don t take the dhurty job." "Vat ist dish der fool istspeakin ? Das ist von grazy mon. How ist dish von can be porn a gouple of times?" The man addressed closed one eye, and thrust his hands into some slits where his pockets might have been, but were not. Pockets are a superfluous luxury when a man has nothing to carry in them. " Begorra, old oman ! it is playing upon the stage ye should be, in place of sitting just ferninst this foin white door wid the man s name on it, and yez are sitting on top his house now." The woman realized the situation and changed tactics quickly. "Hah ! Dis ist der schentlemans vat called some days mit our pusiness. How vas you ?" "While she spoke she thrust her hand into her pocket and drew forth a soiled rag, untied one corner of it, and handed the man a new, bright half dollar. "Takesaleetle?" He took the money and turned it over and over in his hand, looking at it admiringly. If his face wore any ex pression, it was a wish that in turning it about he might make it into several thousand. It was impossible to make out whether he intended to keep it or not. After looking at it a moment longer he handed it back. " Is it the loikes of yez that is thinking you can buy Larry MLSTHRESS HUNKS, TUNKS, BUNKS. 381 O Doodle with a new bright half dollar? Bad luck to ye and the day ye was born! and bad luck I say to the day ye will be born agin. Does ye think I will ba after letting a nasty black cat crape in and lick up the cream while tis meself that stands outdoor wid nary a hup to ate and nary a drop of the cratur to wet me guzzle wid?" Quick as. thought her hand went into her pocket again; in place of a rag she drew out a small black flask and handed this to the man, which he grasped with more ac tivity than he did the money. He took out the stopper and placed the mouth of the flask to his mouth. Not a muscle of the throat moved any more than a stone aperture of the same size would have done. As the fluid diminished he threw his head back and sucked for the last drop. Placing the stopper in he handed it back without a word of thanks. " Arrah! bad luck to the little black bug that is not after holding enough to warm a man s stomach wid !" With this he sat down upon a curbstone adjoining Ralph Burns s grave. Clasping his hands around one knee, he moved back and forth. With one eye half closed, he looked at the man and woman opposite. "So it is being born agin yez would be?" His body kept moving back and forth. " It is a bad job, and a power o money in it." The old hag brightened up. She changed her attitude into one of listening. " A great many people is after visiting this place where they born such as yez over again and fit thim out for hiven. Such as yez can larn the way in a little bit. Tis meself that is going over to see Misthress Hunks, Tunks, Bunks, or some such bloody name that is fit to bust me head to disremember. She is a broth of a oman, and one of me own friends. One day she was after coming wid sthuff for me poor sister that must be born agin. Ha! ha! I took the sthuff, and it was killing me, it was. Ho! ho! If it be that same she ll be after giving yez to born yez agin, the divil himself wad refuse to be born over agin." 382 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. "Veil, you knows dish ladies all der viles? Goes you to der housh?" " Begorra! and it is that same I am after doing. Tis meself that is 011 the road to hiven this instance," and he arose to leave them. He had taken but a step or two when the woman called after him : "Vill der goot schentlemans sphake to der Bunks lady von vord mit us?" " Indade, no! Whin a poor divil must work his own way to hiven, it is as much as he can do. Good day. Whin we mate agin, I hope it will not ba in as grave a place as this. Good day to yez!" and he walked away, swinging his shillalah over his head in true Irish style, muttering: " Hunks, Bunks, Tunks, Skunks; no, that will no ba after baing it." He laid his hand on his head, trying with all his might to bring Madame Junk s name back to mind. We do not require Madame Junk to tell us that Mrs. Pict- pink was not born right. She will have to be born at least a hundred times before she will be worthy of any sort of a seat in the most remote corner of heaven. We are very much afraid this bad woman s father and mother never had any such good books to read as Madame Junk s work on the Proper Propagation of the American Race. It is fair to presume that, had they read such a work, no such fiendish monstrosity would have cumbered this earth. Larry O Doodle s blood began to warm with the contents of the little black bug, and his step became a little un steady as he wended his way to the Home with the motto : " Lest a man be born again he cannot enter the kingdom of heaven." It is just possible he was even now finding the strait and narrow path a little difficult for one of his un steady balance. Let us hope by the aid of his shillalah he may stick to the track until he arrives at this home of reform, there to receive a new dress for a new stage of ac tion. He sang snatches of wild Irish songs. The little A POOR CONSTITUTION. 383 straw hat set to one side only served to make his coarse red face look larger; his open shirt collar showed a neck as sturdy as an ox. All this combined showed a man of power ful strength. In a knock-down fight he would have been a match for a large number of ordinary men. Coming in sight of the Home he took off his hat and swung it round and round his head, crying: " Hurrah! hurrah! It is cheer ing I am for St. Patrick and Misthress Punks!" The nearer he came to the Home, the more heavenly he felt. If his exuberance of spirits continue to increase at the same rate of speed, there is no sure thing that he will not go right up .without waiting to be born again. At last he arrived at the door of the Home for fitting souls for heaven. He rang the bell furiously. Madame Junk, thinking anxious applicants were ringing to be re formed, hastened to the door, and was far from recognizing an old acquaintance. " Is it Misthress Hunks that is after living here?" She leaned toward him, and her mild blue eyes looked upon him benignly, pityingly. " Is it Madame Junk you wish to see?" " Arrah! that is the name. My head is all in a knot, ticy- ing to find it." " Walk in, my friend, and tell me what I can do for you/ She took him into the chapel. He sat down, and with the back of his hand wiped the perspiration from his fore head. Meanwhile, Madame Junk was taking an inventory of him, with a look of compassion. " Is this the place where you can put divils on the road tohiven?" ^ " This is the place where we make bad men good; and we believe all good men go to heaven." " It is meself that wad ba going there, if the work is not a bit too hard for me constitution," said Larry O Doodle, placing his hand first on his stomach, then on his side, then on his forehead, then on the right shoulder, then on the 384 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. left. The last place he touched was the small of his back. His condition seemed very precarious, for there was scarce a spot on his body that was not out of kelter, provided we should take his word for it. Madame Junk ventured timidly to say: " We expect all those who come here to work, as much as their health will allow." " Ah yes! Misthress Punks; I will be doin whin me back is not broke intirely." "That is all we ask," said Madame Junk, quite encouraged by this promise. " Would you like something to eat?" The man s hand wandered up to his stomach again, and he called on St. Patrick to witness he had not tasted food for forty-eight hours. It was not a wonder he was " wake." Madame Junk thought so, too. She left the room to pre pare food for this poor wandering tramp, who for years had not known what it was to eat a meal in a civilized way. She gave him a bowl of milk and fruit; for the rule of this Home was that the last meal should be light; besides, a man who had eaten nothing for forty-eight hours should be careful. Madame Junk informed him that it was the rule for every new inmate to take a bath. She showed him the bath, and how it worked, then told him to take off his clothing and take a good bath. " Indade, it is not drowning me ye would ba?" " Oh no; it will make you feel better." " I never done the likes of this before." " Well, try it," said Madame Junk, as she left the room. The man undressed, and put one foot in. The sensation was rather pleasant; then he tried the other; then he sat down 011 the bottom of the tub. That was so comfortable, he lay down. " By the howly St. Patrick! if it is shwimming to hiven in this w r ay, it is Larry O Doodle who has no objectings intirely." By degrees he began splashing like a huge fish. " Well, indade! if this ba the work, it is Larry O Doodle HE SCREECHED, COME IN. 385 that can do it." He was to remain in twenty minutes, that being the law of the Home; but this being an aggravated case, Madame Junk resolved to make it twenty-five. When twenty -five minutes were up, Madame Junk was at the door. She rapped, and Larry O Doodle screeched, "Come in!" She spoke from the other side of the door: " Come out of the water! You will find clean clothes before the door. Put them on, and leave yours in the bath room/ " Indade! Well, ralely! intirely! This must ba the way to hiven!" muttered Larry O Doodle, as he was dressing himself in clean clothing." 25 CHAPTER XLV. TWO MORE APPLICANTS KNIFE AND FORK-SHOVEL AND HOE THE CULTIVATION OF BEANS. IF there was any particular cliarm more than another about this Reformatory Home it was the sleeping apart ments; Madame Junk believed in having them clean. There would be labor in reforming this raw, uncultivated Irish man. She took a beautiful bouquet that had been sent her that day; this she placed on a small table; also a rose-tree in full bloom. Not content with this, she bought colonge and sprinkled it about until the room was as fragrant as a garden of roses. Then she knelt down and prayed for this tramp while he sat in the next room and heard every word. When he heard her ask the white angels to come and purify, sanctify, and teach him how to walk in manhood s ways he was not so stupid that he did not understand its full mean ing. From that moment he would no more have harmed Madame Junk than he would have cut his own head off; and what is better yet, he would not have allowed others to do so. Madame Junk came out and told him that the rules of the Home required the inmates to be in bed at nine o clock. She hoped he would have a good night s rest and arise at six o clock in the morning and come to the chapel, where they held prayers. " Do you ever pray?" asked Madame Junk, so suddenly that the man gave a little start. "Whin I was a wee thing I was after praying to Holy Mother Mary." " Pray to her to-night, will you ? " (386) LIBERALITY IN RELIGION. 387 " How can I be after praying ? I have 110 bades." " Sit down a moment." Slie went to her room, and soon returned with a string of beautiful white beads. "And is it thim I can be using? It is white they are." "Was not Mary, Mother of Jesus, pure and white as those beads ? Please me; pray to her and count those beads, and to-morrow I will get you such a string as your religion calls for/ As she spoke, she hung the pure white pearls over the man s shoulders. " Is it a Catholic you are?" " No, my friend; I am a Protestant." The man held the beads and looked at them; then he looked for the first time squarely at Madame Junk. His stare was returned with equal fairness. There swept over the face of this life-long tramp and public impostor an ex pression of wonder; the next second it was doubt; the next the faintest ray of intelligence crept- in. "Indade! Ralely!" and with his disengaged hand he rubbed the top of his head, doubled his fist, and with his knuckles rubbed each eye and blinked at Madame Junk. " Be jabers! its not after draining I am." " No," said Madame Junk, " you are wide-awake. "Why so astonished ? " "It was meself that was thinking all yous hated the Catholics like the divil." " I hate no one," said Madame Junk. " You are one of God s children, and if you wish to serve Him by praying to the mother of Jesus, I respect you for it. I like you for it. There is not such a great difference as you think." " Indade! ralely! my Praist niver told me that." " Good night," said Madame Junk, not wishing to pro long this conversation. " Good night. Ask the Virgin Mary to help you, for we all need help." " Good night, Misthress Junks, and may the blessings of the Saints be wid ye." 388 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. He stepped into the pure white room. He sniffed and sniffed, like some wild animal scenting his lair. " Be jabers, this smells swate, intirely." He looked at the bouquet. "And is it these same flowers we will be plucking 1 on the road to hiven?" He looked about the room and examined everything, turned down the snow-white sheets, which seemed to remind him of the beads; he took them in his hand and knelt down by the bed, and prayed in an audible voice. And Madame Junk sat in the room adjoining and heard his prayer. She was not so stupid that she could not comprehend him. "Blessed Virgin, Holy Mary, Mother of God, forgive me;" one bead, and so on through the string. The last white bead he devoted to Madame Junk, and from that moment she resolved within herself that she would work unceasingly to make that man a Christian. The string of white pearls finished, he arose, undressed, and for the first time in long years lay down in a clean bed. He no longer doubted about this being a place where folks were fitted for " hiven." He actually thought he was going through the process, as indeed he was. Who shall say the white angels did not come into his room that night? Who shall say they did not bear his prayer to the Holy Mary, Mother of God, as glad tidings of great joy? Who shall say they did not speak to him in dreams, of a better life beyond this ? Who among the most radical, hellfire - and - brimstone, burning -f orever-and -ever more people, shall cast him out and pronounce him damned because he prays and counts a string of white beads ? Who will presume, I say, even if the beads were blue, or green, or any other color? As broad as this was Madame Junk s religious views, and all discrepancies came under the head of not being bom right. Had Madame Junk lived in any year B. C., and finished her book, this world would not have been in its present sinful condition. The entire human family would NOTORIETY OF THE HOME. 389 have been born upon another basis. As it is, there is no other way but to be born again. The next day after Larry O Doodle came to the Home two more applicants called and expressed a wish to be born again; and most certainly, judging from outward appear ances, there was no reason to doubt that such a change would be a desirable one. The two applicants were Jonas Pictpink and wife. This old witch had but one end in view in being "born a couble of times/ as she called it. It was to appropriate the money and valuables of others. She thought there was nothing like being on the inside of the ring, and to get inside the ring was to get into Madame Junk s Home for reforming depraved humanity. True it was that this Home was looked upon with a de gree of favor hitherto unknown to the general run of insti tutions that came under the head of charity. It was looked upon with respect by the high, the low, the rich, and the poor. The elite was wont to visit this place, and speak kind words of encouragement to Madame Junk. Indeed, if noth ing else drew them there, the notoriety of the thing would have done it. Strangers from every part of the world, when they came to visit San Francisco, must not leave until they had seen this Home for reforming depraved humanity, and the eccentric woman who presided over it, and who had given all her fortune, besides devoting her life to it. So it was that this Home became known to the greater part of Europe. However, the stone scroll over the door, on which was written, "Lest a man be born again he cannot enter the kingdom of heaven/ had earned for it an exaggerated ac count of what was required of the inmates. It was generally supposed that they were only required to eat, drink and pray; but that is a mistake, as such of the inmates as are now there can testify. For those who are able-bodied the shovel and the hoe are handled more hours than the knife and fork. The next morning, after Larry O Doodle arose, and had listened to a devout prayer offered up by Madame Junk, in 39O MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. which he was mentioned more than once, he was asked by that lady if he could read. " And is it reading we must ba before we go to hiven ?" " Would you not like to read ?" " Well, tis not meself that can be after saying jist now." It might have been as well for us to have stated some time since that Kate Glewer had secured the services of Miss Josephine Blessing as teacher in the Home for reforming depraved humanity. Our young lady was most amiable and good, and, withal, quite good-looking. She had beautiful blue eyes and brown hair. There is no disputing that she was a desirable acquisition to the Reformatory Home. As Larry O Doodle used to tell Madame Junk, "It was a bliss- ing to sit just ferninst her blue eyes." The morning of which we speak he was introduced to Miss Blessing. She found him an apt pupil; his ready Irish wit and spontaneity of original comparisons made him very entertaining. He learned every word and every letter by associating it with objects familiar in his past life. At the present outlook he stands just as good a chance of holding the office of city clerk, or some such place, as any other man. It is surprising to see how ambition quickens its activity the moment you give it the work its growth requires. We can find any number of physicians who are not only ready, but mighty glad, to take deformed physical bodies and turn them wrongside out and back again; but this is done that the world may be advanced in knowledge. Now, if there are deformed physical bodies, there are deformed minds of a monstrous order. But we don t find physicians as ready to operate on them, gratis. There don t seem to be so much fun and money in this class of doctoring. It being rather out of our latitude to discuss at length this thing, we will leave it to Madame Junk, who will be sure to tell you that when we are born right, and we attain a proper knowledge of the proper way to care for our physical struc tures, we shall have no more mental monstrosities born to SHE MUST SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN. 39! us. Notwithstanding Madame Junk s confidence in the power of love and kindness, and her ability to reform all bad people, she instinctively shrank from Mrs. Pictpink. She had ever associated her with Joel s dream. She had not this feeling toward the old man. If he were alone, she would never have any fears regarding herself or the safety of the Reformatory Home. Madame Junk should not for get that there are those who do not forget an injury or a supposed one. Years ago, Madame Junk had been the cause of breaking in upon the thieves den of which this old woman was the general-in-chief ; a den she started herself and kept running, and that, too, in the face and eyes of the municipal authori ties. This woman thought she might have this place now, but for Madame Junk. If the Lord had sent Madame Junk to rout out his Satanic majesty (and she believed he had), why, his Satanic majesty would do as he had done before rebel against heaven. Madame Junk s fears were heightened by Larry O Doodle, for he was hinting from time to time that this woman could not be trusted. To use his own words : " Tis not meself that will ba after saying a word agin a woman s being born agin; but, Misthress Punks, slape wid one eye open !" Usually after these conversations with Larry O Doodle, Madame Junk prayed longer, louder and more frequently. We believe that these prayers did protect her. Larry O Doodle s attention being diverted by learning to read, seemed to act as a medicinal remedy on the small of his back and his stomach. Three good baths per week, good clean food and clothes, with the society of companion able Christian women, seemed to work wonders in this man. Even our practical, hard-working Kate, could find no fault with him. When Larry saw how things grew where he had planted the seed, he seemed as ambitious as if the five acres were his own little farm. Three times a week Mrs. Glewer 392 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. rode out and walked over the ground with Larry O Doodle, who was likely to become superintendent, so much was he learning to love labor. No one would recognize in this stalwart, supple-limbed, rosy-cheeked Irishman, the poor old woman who sat upon the streets with a visor over her eyes and a placard on her bosom, on which was written, " Help the blind " and yet it is the very same. It was Kate who taught the man, who had never done an honest day s work in all his life, how to use all farming im plements, and how to till the soil. Many a man, far better educated than Larry O Doodle, would not object to having a handsome woman ride horse for him to plow. This Kate did one day for at least an hour; but it was to teach a boy who was likely to have the horse step on every hill of beans in the garden. Kate was so indignant that she mounted the horse herself, to the no small amusement of some fashion ables who were visiting the Home. In that hour Larry O Doodle grew proud, and stepped high over the furrows. He almost thought that when he got to heaven he should be the only man-representative there. " Mr. O Doodle, that is the way you should cultivate beans." It was the first time he ever was called Mr. O Doodle in his life. Madame Junk usually called him Larry, as did Miss Blessing, who had triumphantly taken him through the multiplication table, as Kate had through the beans. Another inmate of the Reformatory Home was the poor Old Hermit of the Mountains, who had grown quite imbe cile, and totally unable to do the least thing but eat. Be tween meals he devoted his time to calling all female-kind "devils, snakes, devils, everyone of em; they wind and wind, and bite and bite, and kill and kill, until we are dead." Larry O Doodle thought there was some malice in this, and that, by good rights, the old man should receive some slight punishment for it. For his part, he looked upon women as angels, and, what was more, some of them could ride horses and cultivate beans. MADAME JUNK AMUSED HIM. 393 It had been observed that Mr. Stanly was taking a lively interest in this Home for reforming humanity. He was seen to ride out more frequently than an ordinary visitor should. It is just possible he is going into the cultivation of beans. In that case he will require lessons, for he never raised a hill in his life. True, Madame Junk amused him greatly. But no man of dignity and Mr. Stanly was a gentleman of dignity would spend all his time, or half of it, in amuse ment. At all events Mr. Stanly s frequent visits to the Home had the effect of making Miss Busy look several years older. Her mouth lowered at the corners, and the lines became hard and set, and the two husbands were now a fixture, that, even in the event of a living real one, would refuse to budge from between her eyes, where they had in earlier times showed a willingness to surrender for any kind of a reasonable offer. Miss Busy was too much of a lady to speak out what she thought in regard to some things. So we will take the liberty to speak her thoughts for her. She could not understand how a cultivated English gentleman could be so taken with a plebeian American. She was sure that the men in her country were not taken with a comely face. A lady must be refined, cultivated, and of a good family, before a gentle man would be willing to pay so much attention as Mr. Stanly was giving Mrs. Catharine Glewer. CHAPTEK XLVI. EDUCATED IN GENERALITIES-DISCUSSION BETWEEN FATHER AND SON. JOEL had been admitted to the bar, and was one of the most promising young lawyers in the country. In one sense he was a fair representative of American men. He was quiet and cool uttered no words that were not thoughts. He was the American type of man in versatility. The people of the Old "World confine themselves to one trade or one profession; they give years of study to it; they know it well; their whole life is given to one object. Of course they succeed. They tell us Americans that we never half learn anything. We deny the charge. "We learn to have more than one idea, and learn it well. We have so much work to do that we cannot give all our time to one thought. We are willing to pay a liberal salary to foreigners who have devoted a life to one trade or profession; but our men are versatile. Our vast continent requires men of large calibre as vast as the continent itself. W T e are educated to theories through practice. We solve our problems by setting them in motion, and then are condemned by foreign nations for knowing nothing well. We may be behind Europe in sciences and art; but in practical, thorough-going, get-up-and-dust work, we are not to be outdone. Joel had taken up the profession of law, but while he had done this his mind was ever active upon other things. His mind was interested in the governmental situation of our country. He looked at the weeds that needed pulling; he saw a corrupt state of things; he saw the honest and dis- (394) A YOUNG MAN WITHOUT EXPERIENCE. 395 honest men all thrown into one caldron; he saw amid our great governmental chaos that the innocent must suffer alike with the guilty, and he resolved never to be a party- man. He would ever cast his vote for the honest, capable, trustworthy man. In the long warm discussions which were held between Mr. Roen Fletcher and his son over the politi cal outlook of our country, the old gentleman was wont to say: " You are a young man, and lack that experience which must teach you that the man with the largest sympathetic feelings is not the man to rule. The ruler must allow no sympathy to come in. Nothing but justice and judgment can guide us in matters pertaining to government/ "When men," replied Joel, " seek the confidence of the people, and by being elected to high places, is it not their duty to study the best interests of the people ? " "Yes, most certainly; but that man must allow his best judgment to decide what is for the best interest of the peo ple. He cannot allow the undisciplined minds of the riff raff to decide momentous questions." "But," said Joel, " dees ho not, in nine cases out of ten, go in with an express understanding of the requirements of the people whom he represents, and who have elected him? " "Frequently it is the case; however, I claim that the people who choose a man to represent them should have confidence in that man; for it is impossible to understand a question of moment until we have heard it from other stand points than our own." " Sir, your logic would deprive us as an individual people of breathing from our own lungs or standing on our own legs. It would not be a representative government if we should be governed by a few rulers who, believe me, in time would grow as despotic as any that reign now in the Old World. Has this undisciplined, uneducated mass of hard working people a right to ask a fair return for the taxation which is imposed upon them to support these so-called rep- 396 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. resentatives ? I cannot see, Sir, republican free thought in such a course as this." " I have the pleasure of believing that you are at least honest in your convictions. I think that whatever position you take in the political world will be from your highest sense of right." "Well, Sir, if we agree upon no other subject, I hope we agree upon this one : If a man follows his highest sense of right, nothing more can be expected of him either by God or man. My cheek tingles with shame when I hear foreign ers bandy disgraceful truths about our Nation which I can not refute. If the history of these United States be true, the old-time fire has burnt out, and left us naught but ashes. The zeal that was shown by Webster and Clay no longer lives." "But they were far from being right, even from your stand point." "Yes, but they deemed themselves so. Such a thing as a man s working with honest intentions nowadays (at all events when he has any public work to do), is a thing un heard of." "That is a sweeping assertion. Maybe you will honor me by naming. some whom you look upon with favor." " Certainly," replied Joel. "We know, and the world knows, that Senator Sumner came as near a model as any one of the later-day Senators. Still I am not prepared to swallow all he set forth. My deep and sincere admiration of the man has not blinded me to what seem to me weak points." " Well, young man, that is but a drop in the bucket. Are there no others ?" " As regards his being a drop in the bucket, he seems to me to have been a bucket of himself. He was a spontaneous fountain, ever sending forth bright crystal truths. If now and then a grain of sand was thrown up in the mighty up heaval, it is but in the nature of things. The highest laws AT LIBERTY TO STARVE AT HOME. 397 or rules that have been revealed to us, and which constitute a true republican form of government, have not been at tained. They have not been carried out for the want of honest and faithful men." "Young man, you partially admit that some have tried?" " Yes, Sir; but what are two or three men against an army ?" " True; but if they are the generals you make them out, they should command the army." " Not unless the law appoints them to that command/ replied Joel. " So you are a sort of a reconstructionist ? You would build up an entire new platform, and have a new people." " You will admit, Sir, that we are in need of reform in our government." Parties must combine before a great change can be wrought." " But individuals can do much," replied Joel. " If you and I, and every other man who is capable of work, sit by, and wait for these parties to combine, we shall never have a better state of things. What we want is sturdy men, who will put their hands to the plow, and never look back men who are honest, and do not work for self-aggrandizement." " Young man, you will make an eloquent stump-speaker, to wake up the ignorant, sleepy masses to the disagreeable condition of our public affairs; for in the interior of our country the people are sadly in need of enlightenment." Much to our discredit, they flaunt their ignorance in the faces of foreign nations," said Joel. "Not long since, I was much amused to hear an Englishman relate his expe rience. Why/ says a Yankee to him, ain t you glad you come to this ere glorious land of liberty? At the same time said the Englishman, I was as hard up as I could be no money, not enough to eat, and poor clothes. He said he had made up his mind that he could not live on liberty alone. He was at liberty to starve in his own country. 39 8 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. The only difference in the liberty that he could discover was that ours was glorious liberty, and his was a liberty minus the glorious. For years and years he had been prompt in his attendance at the Fourth of July orations. He was trying to find the glor} r . He had heard the Declaration of Independence so frequently that he had every word by heart. ""Well, young man, education will do away with that." "Yes, Sir; in some degree. The attempt to make the Stars and Stripes do the work, accompanied by Fourth of July orations, will scarcely pass muster. Why, Sir, the greater part of America think if they run up the Stars and Stripes that it means liberty, and nothing more is required to maintain a Republican Government. It is a burlesque on liberty. There is a vulgarity about it which is offensive to every intelligent man and woman. If you wish to per petuate a fraud, do it up in the American flag, and you will scarce find one audacious enough to peep in; that would be desecration; therefore, I say, and say it openly, that the American flag does more dirty work than any flag in all the world." "Young man, this may do to speak in private, but not in public." " If I speak in public at all, I shall speak my mind as freely as I have spoken it to you." " Then you will not succeed." " I shall succeed in speaking what I conceive to be true, and that is all I aspire to say," said Joel, walking awa} r . CHAPTER XLYII. VIEWS ON MARRIAGE MISS JOSEPHINE BLESSING TEACHES MRS. PICTPINK TO READ. GOSSIPS were now busy conjecturing what the result would be of Mr. Stanly s attention to the handsome Widow Glewer. It requires no great stretch of the imagina tion to see that it means a fond regard and honorable mar riage, with a high social position for a beautiful woman. True, there were those who were uncanny enough to say, "That was the way with the world. "When a man died, leaving a wealthy widow, she would have no difficulty in getting a second husband." The more sympathetic ones said: " Poor, dear, dead man! To toil like a slave all his life and leave his hard earnings for other folks." A deep- drawn sigh usually accompanied this sentence; and to the sigh was added, " Yes, yes, out of sight out of mind." "We can say, and say truly, that Kate Glewer never lived until now. Life wore a new aspect. It is just possible that she had been born again. All her soul was alive to new thoughts and new sympathies. Her hard, practical, resolute demand for just returns from the inmates of the Reforma tory Home, were fast giving way to the softer and more womanly nature which had so long lain dormant. So it is that woman grows masculine, when necessity or chance calls her into manly pursuits. Kate was no Amazon, save what necessity had made her. She had led the way up a practical business height, and bade her adopted son, George Gregory Glewer, follow. She hoped and confidently be lieved that she should place him at the head of his father s ( 399) 4OO MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. business, and then to speak after the manner of men she would lay back on her oars. She was not ambitious to be set clown in the directory as Mrs. Catharine Glewer, Hardware Merchant, Stone Street, No. 34. No ! no ! Catha rine Glewer was no female business swell. If Kate had no great admiration for this boy in his in fancy, she had affection for him now, and that affection was returned. Few own mothers are such mothers. To give birth to an offspring is not the only thing required to make a mother; in reality, that is the smallest part of the job. It is a small beginning of a great undertaking. Thus Kate reasoned with herself. She had picked up this small pat tern of a plan and was working it out, carrying it from infancy to manhood, taking upon herself all its burdens. We would ask, then, who is the mother? She is the mother ordained by God. He has intrusted to her keeping one of the lambs from His flock. If Madame Junk and Kate did not agree upon all points, there was certainly the closest friendship upon this one that the soul is the most valuable of all gems. Madame Junk was wont to exclaim, with upraised forefinger : "Great God! there is nothing in Thy universe that is so bartered as the human soul. Thy gems w T hich Thou hast made in Thy own image are as naught; and the dross of this world s gains are paramount to Thy gems/ 5 When some unusual case of suffering came under her observation, she would pray that the world might stand still. She would send up an express plea that God would make a new order of things; that He would cast no more pearls before swine; and that the world might be renovated, cleansed, purified, and that no more souls should be given as a sacrifice to the god of Mammon. Kate s fervency and belief in the power of God did not carry her quite to this point. She did not think that God could adjust things in this way, but that society could do much to make a better state of things. She would have EVEN LARRY WAS DECEIVED. 40 1 marriages restricted by law. In other important affairs relating to life, we are required to give security; i. e., any important public place of trust the public demands to be secured. And what more important place of trust is there than that of the marriage relation ? Before a young man can enter college, he must pass an examination; and before lie enters marriage he should possess himself of a certain sum of money, thereby insuring the public that he can care for the souls that may be given him. She thought if society would regulate this, they would be doing a good thing. Larry O Doodle and Jonas Pictpink and lady were booked at the Reformatory Home. Larry and Jonas grew, as did the cabbage-heads that were planted in the garden of the Home. They began gathering up their forces, folding their leaves, and day by day grew more sound in head. If we make a like comparison for the woman we shall say she belongs to that species of cabbage with a few outside coarse leaves that are of no earthly use, and would be sure death to a cow were she to eat above one leaf. Madame Junk had never enjoyed one comfortable day or night since that woman made application to enter the king dom of heaven. Strong as Madame Junk s faith was, she had her doubts about ever running this woman through on her line. There was ever an instinctive feeling of dread whenever this woman approached her. This creature never appeared to notice anything. Those who seem to observe the least observe the most. No one came or went that she was not cognizant of. She learned the names of all, who they visited, and if they were rich or poor. The keen eye of Larry O Doodle was on the watch like a faithful hound. He had pledged his word to Larry O Doodle that he would protect Misthress Junks with his life. As days grew into weeks and weeks into months, and there was no apparent sign of aDything wrong, even Larry was deceived and grew less guarded. 26 4O2 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. Those who observed the subdued ways of this woman thought Madame Junk had wrought a miracle in reforming a woman that seemed past reform. The press was loud in its praise, and cited this instance of what could be done with bad people, and what should be done. The more confident editors went so far as to say, that the time was fast approaching when we should require no jails, no prisons; and in fact they wrote Madame Junk up as little short of a saint. Here was a woman who had devoted her life and her fortune to erect a home to fit souls for heaven. What editor would be mean enough to say a word against that ? Besides, she had friends that were wealthy and influential. Miss Josephine Blessing had taught Mrs. Pictpink to read and write. No student at Yale College ever devoted himself with greater zeal than did this woman. Miss Bless ing was greatly encouraged with this pupil, so eagerly did she devour every letter in the alphabet, and then set herself to form the characters after Miss Blessing s hand. She was not long in learning to write so that she could read it herself, and believed others could. She could spell short words correctly; before long she began writing " dictations, " and it was really surprising how fast she advanced. Such garden vegetables as were not consumed (the eggs, etc.) were sold to purchase other necessary things for the Home. Larry O Doodle had usually transacted the business of going to town and selling these. Madame Junk had made it a rule that a strict account must be kept of all the money paid out and taken in. It was with no small degree of pride that Larry O Doodle set out every week with the one-horse wagon loaded with cabbage, turnips and beautiful beans. When he served his customers with beans, he made use of the word "beautiful;" for it reminded him of who taught him to grow them. His note-book was placed in his pocket within easy reach, and all the little outgoings and incomings were written down in detail. The small account covered a great sheet of paper. Larry O Doodle was wont LARRY O DOODLE AND THE NOTE-BOOK. 403 to close one eye and scan this book with much self-compla cency. This man s growing ambition for knowledge was a miracle. He began to talk of P. M. and A. M. until they actually became confused, and not a few of his customers did not know at all what he meant. If he did not come at A. M., he would without doubt be there at P. M. In this way Larry O Doodle seemed a man of letters. Madame Junk began to fear that the inmates might look upon this favoritism with jealous eyes. She was studying how she could show them attention that would be equivalent to that she was showing Larry O Doodle. This woman, who had been so good and industrious, was most certainly entitled to a holiday. Should she let her ride to town on a load of cabbage, beside Larry ? After considering a while, Madame Junk concluded that Mrs. Pictpink should accompany Larry O Doodle to town. Madame Junk would intrust Mrs. Pictpink to purchase crash toweling of a coarse quality; for in this Home for re forming humanity it was necessary that the blood should circulate freely. So when Two-hundred-and-fifty was re quested (Madame Junk never demanded) to ride to the city beside Larry O Doodle, and purchase crash toweling, she was not a little surprised and pleased. A wild animal that has long been caged, when it gets out is inclined to run to its own native haunts; but force of habit and starvation may bring it back again. Two-fifty is not going to run into the woods until she makes sure there is something to eat and drink there, and a place to sleep. CHAPTEE XLYIIT. PRODUCE FROM FIVE ACRES MISS BUSY S CHAGRIN THE AMERICAN GIRL ABSURD NOTIONS WEAK POINTS A CURIOUS PLACE TWO BEANS A NEW APPLICANT A GARDEN IN HE A YEN. MR. STANLY was about to lead Mrs. Glewer to the altar. The first real sentiment of the woman s heart played upon her face, causing it to wear a girlish ex pression. Miss Busy thought her countryman falling into disgrace by marrying a tradesman s widow. What did he mean a man who might marry any lady in England? This unsophisticated American woman, who had never mingled in the first society, and the adopted mother of her late hus band s illegitimate son! What was the man thinking of? Perhaps he did not know it. Ought not some friend to tell him before it was too late ? Thus Miss Busy reasoned with herself. Sternna must see how inappropriate such a match would be. Miss Busy would speak to the young lady about it, and she had no doubt the young lady w r ould reason with Mr. Stanly. "It is reported/ said Miss Busy one day to Sternna, " that Mr. Stanly is about to marry the "Widow Glewer." " I have so understood," replied Miss Sternna. Miss Busy hemmed and hawed looked out of the window, and ventured to remark: " Do yon think he quite understands her position, soci ally?" "How socially?" said Sternna. "That she is not a (404) ARISTOCRATIC COMMON SENSE. 405 woman who courts favor and devotes her life to the fashion able world?" " No/ not that; but her origin is obscure. She was the daughter of a tradesman, and is the widow of one." " "What has that to do with the woman?" I should think it would have much to do with a gentle man of Mr. Stanly s aristocratic lineage." "Well, it does not seem to disturb his aristocratic com mon sense; and as long as that is not disturbed, they will get along very well." " Then you approve of the match, do you?" " I approve of it if Mr. Stanly does. I have perfect con fidence in his judgment, and do not think he would make an unwise selection of a wife." " Do you think he has heard about George ?" " I cannot say; but I think if he had it would make no difference with a man of his sound judgment. I think he would honor his affianced bride all the more if he knew it. Mrs. Glewer is a rare specimen of a woman. She is gifted and very beautiful; and, if I judge from my own observa tion, I know of no one who I think would make him so happy as Catharine Glewer. Mr. Stanly is a man of far too much dignity to allow society to snub the woman whom he has honored with the title of wife. Although Mr. Stanly is an Englishman, he is too true a gentleman not to make room for his wife by his side." Miss Busy retired from the field. The two husbands came forth in bold relief between the eyes. The last hope expired with Miss Sternna s defense of Mr. Stanly s matri monial intentions. It is to be regretted, for Miss Busy has seen very few men she would marry, and up to the present time none who would marry her. Our good mother, Mrs. Mayo, is in a state of alarm about her son Albert s health. He has lost his appetite; he looks white about the mouth; his old jovial happy-go-lucky ways have departed; he seems forever dreaming. None of his 406 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. family are able to conjecture what the matter is. Old folks are mighty apt to forget the time when they were in love, and could not eat. They won t understand it, and, if they do, it looks silly to them. In his usual characteristic way of doing business, he had loved Sternna. He had wooed her, had offered her his hand and heart, only to be told by that young lady that she never intended to marry any one; that she was wedded to her art; that she liked him, and even admired his general character, but could never love him well enough to become his wife. None but Carrie and Joel held the secret. Sternna would go to Scotland with her " Douce David Deans," and her return to America was uncertain. " You will find another who will make you far happier than I could. My life is so selfish that I could not devote that attention which a husband has a right to demand. We should be careful not to assume responsibilities we are not willing to fill. There are times when I feel the need of a strong arm to lean on the kind counsel of a loving guide; such a one as I know you would be to me. But when I ask myself what I have to give you in return, I cannot say it is an undivided heart. No, Albert, you must have a wife who will make home your heaven; one who will share your joys and sorrows, as I could not; one who has no world peopled with imaginary beings, like that in which an artist lives; one whose brain is not peopled with a legion of phantoms clamoring to take shape." Albert thought that a small share of her heart was worth far more than a whole one of any other woman s. Madame Junk had purchased a horse, or rather a mare, for the services of the Home. This mare she had named after the famous trotter "American Girl." Not for the vir tue of trotting had she given the mare this name, but be cause American Girl had a three thousand dollar monument erected to her memory, a thing which Madame Junk re gretted; for she thought that three thousand dollars would go a long way toward helping the poor. So it was that this REMEMBER, SIX YARDS OF CRASH. 407 mare was called American Girl, just to remind the world of misapplied charity. Larry O Doodle had just finished loading the one-horse wagon with vegetables. The cross-board or seat was laid quite to the front of the wagon, and if the horse were frac tious too near its tail for safety. But we need have no fear on that score, for the American Girl is as gentle a beast as ever carried a load of cabbage to market. Larry had placed an old shawl over the seat to make it more comfortable. Everything seemed to be in order. Madame Junk stood just under the motto. " Larry, have you the account-book?" "To be shure, Misthress Junks." "Well, have you a place for Mrs. Pictpiuk to ride safely ? " "I have a bit of a board that will be after aching before we reach the town." Madame Junk turned her head to conceal a smile. When she looked at Larry again there was a twinkle in her eye, and in an undertone she said: " Larry, no tricks upon trav elers." At that moment, Two-hundred-and-fifty appeared upon the scene of action. Larry laid one end of a board on the ground while the other rested on the fills, and he worked the woman up as he would a hogshead of honey, by moving one side at a time. She sat down on the bit of a board, which sprung so much that it came down with a thud and split one of Larry s largest cabbage-heads. Her feet were hanging over the outside and in close proximity to the mare s tail. Larry mounted the other side and grasped the reins. "Getup! That s a lady!" said Larry, as the American Girl planted her hind feet firmly in the soil, and the muscles in the flanks came out strong as she pulled a step or two, and then stopped. A little caress from Larry s whip encouraged her to move on again. Madame Junk shaded her eyes with her hand, and hallooed after them: "Beinernber, Mrs. Pictpink! Six yards of crash!" 408 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. Yes, my clear Madame Junk, this woman will bring twice six hundred yards of crash; but whether it will be of that quality you require, I cannot promise. This woman s head is full of crash. Mr. Spludge had begun to think in downiight earnest about a helpmeet. He would prefer one with a handsome dower, and with education enough to be presentable in the first circles, and withal, good-looking; at all events, as good- looking as himself a pair of plums to be laid away upon a shelf to dry. But a lady with all the above-named attrac tions was not to be found; and, if found, would she be will ing to become the wife of David Delight Spludge, Esq., attorney-at-law ? True, everything was in his favor, except age and a certain withered look, which had a tendency to make one feel that the man was in a rapid decline. How ever, this was not the case; all those puckers about the mouth and the corners of the eyes were words written in characters legible enough to the acute observer of human nature. His matrimonial eye had for some time been on the alert. At last it fell on Miss Busy. A woman who had for a number of years conducted a female seminary, and fitted some of our leading young ladies for the highest walks in life, was certainly capable of taking charge of one individual. Miss Busy is a true Briton. It is not supposable that a plebeian American attorney will attempt to bring into sub jection a Briton of the true blue. This much we will say: there will be a revolution should he attempt it. Two-huudred-and-fifty purchased the crash at the stand ard price; but the time it took to purchase six yards of crash very much surprised Larry O Doodle. He had waited two hours at a place appointed, and Two-fifty was not wad dling up yet. The American Girl was weary of waiting, too. She switched the flies spitefully with her tail, and was mad enough, no doubt, to give Two-hundred-and-fifty a SHE GOT THE CRASH. 409 switch on the head for keeping- her waiting* so long. But when a lady has crash to look after, no one should be un reasonable enough to suppose it can be done in a minute. Mrs. Pictpink wended her way as fast as possible to a narrow street leading off the two principal streets. She walked on until she came in front of a low-looking den. Over the door was written " Saloon." There was no win dow in front; the ceiling was low and hung with cobwebs. A rough, unplaned board served as counter. Beside the wall were two shelves, on which stood a few black bottles. "With one elbow leaning on the counter, and the chin rest ing in the palm of his hand, stood a red bloat. We say red, because he had red hair, a red face, red eyes, and a red flannel shirt. He could scarcely be redder if he had been dipped in strong cochineal dye. As Mrs. Pictpink stepped over the door-sill, he gave a little start and his face wore an expression of awe, as if this might be an apparition from another world. " I clinks you vas inifc heaven," said the man, with eyes protruding. " Vat for you come pack ?" The woman pointed to a bottle on the shelf. " Trink mit me a little; I am dursty." The man set down two greasy-looking glass mugs, and turned from one of the bottles a dark-looking liquor, filling them to the brim. Instantaneously they raised the mugs to their lips, and gave one long pull, one strong pull, and one pull altogether, and drained them to the bottom. The woman was the first to set her mug down. She wiped her mouth with the corner of her shawl, and inquired for Mr. Splinter. She was told that he would not be in until night. " Veil, den, I drust you," and. she drew from her pocket the first epistle she ever indited. " Ven Mr. Sphlinter comes pack you gives clus mit yourself." As she spoke she placed the letter in the man s hand. He looked at the superscription, which was in great round letters, and read as follows: " Tom Splinter." 4-IO MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " Prings you dis letter by heaven ?" " Veil, I did," drawled the woman; " und der devil vants Tom Sphlinter." With this she stepped over the door cleat, and walked away as fast as possible, carrying her six yards of crash, done up in a brown paper, under her left arm. It took all of an hour for her to walk back where Larry O Doodle was waiting. He was sitting on the cross-board, with a horrible scowl on his face, and the American Girl was giving sidelong glances in every direction, as much as to say, "What am I waiting here for? I want to go home." When Larry O Doodle saw Two-fifty, his ire softened. When she came within hailing distance, Larry shouted, " Have you the crash?" She came up wheezing and blowing, and stood quite a moment to catch her breath. " Veil, I got der grash." " Tis meself that could be buying the whole town while you have been buying that bit of a budget." " Veil, shust you see. It vas mit dish sthore und mit dat sthore, und mit der oder sthore. I have much droubles mit der grash." This was the story she told. She hoped it would please Madame Junk; " for she had run py every sthore vat vas mit der city." In this statement she came nearer the truth than she generally did, and it was told with such an appar ent show of innocence that Larry O Doodle worked her up to a seat just behind the American Girl more tenderly than he had ever done before. " Get up! that s a lady." The American Girl, being re lieved of part of her load and going towards home, started into quite a brisk trot that was scarcely in keeping with the strait and narrow path leading to heaven. Two-fifty kept one corner of her shawl over her mouth so much that it caused Larry to inquire into the cause. The American Girl seemed to be inspired with a degree THE AMERICAN GIRL WANTED HER OATS. 41! of enthusiasm almost equal to her namesake in her best days, so quickly did she get over the ground. Her speed "began to increase as she neared the Home; and when she whirled into the gate and fetched up in front of the Re formatory Home, Madame Junk was called to the door by the rattle of the cart-wheels, almost in the belief that this religious horse was running away. She was at the door in time to hear Larry O Doodle shout: "Whoa! whoa!" in sonorous tones. "Whoa! whoa! That s a lady." That s- a-lady was anxious to get to the barn and have something to eat. The American Girl threw up her head, and in other ways showed resentment. Two-fifty was afraid of tripping and falling on her nose, which would have been sure to lay that structure flat. Madame Junk was forced to take the reins in her own hands. She moved toward the American Girl, and patted and called her the best girl living, while Larry proceeded to unload the cargo, taking Two-hundred-and-fifty out all at once. At last the different little articles being set down before the door, the American Girl was led away to her oats, and Madame Junk and Two-fifty retired to the house to examine the crash. Two-fifty was loud in her complaints about having to run hither and yon for it; while Madame Junk held it up to the light, run her thumb and forefinger back and forth a few times, and pronounced it the right quality. She thought it would likely get up an action on the surface of the body; and we think so, too. Mrs. Pictpink renewed her duties at the Reformatory Home with redoubled energy. She was more studious than ever. Having performed the business of purchasing the crash with so much care, Madame Junk s misgivings began to give way, and she would have almost trusted to her care the Reformatory Home, so thoroughly was her confidence established in this woman. Madame Junk s good power over bad people lay in her treating them as if they were not at all responsible for any 412 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. bad act which they committed. With her it was always the fault of not being born right. Of course, she was willing to prove to the world that a cure might be effected after birth, provided proper means were used, and that, too, at an advanced age; aye, even in second childhood. The Proper Propagation of the American Race was one of Mad ame Junk s weak points, if weakness it may be called. Not a few looked upon Madame Junk as insane on this subject, and another few thought her theory in advance of the age. This was the rock on which Joel and his Mother Junk split. As a boy he loved and respected her; as a man he had the same feeling more intensified. He looked upon her as a woman of the most tenacious principles; sincere in what she deemed to be right. She had taught him when a child to honor truth and sincerity, and now that he was a man he loved sincere truth. He loved and respected Madame Junk with a fervency that not even his own mother could supplant. He thought many of his Mother Junk s moves were far from being wise, but all were made with a strong conviction of the right. Half a year after his marriage with Came he was not a little astonished when his wife announced her intention of rewriting Madame Junk s manuscript on the Proper Prop agation of the American Race, and handing it over to her publishers. Now, Joel was not a great laugher; this in stance must be a great exception. He looked at his wife a moment, and peal upon peal of laughter burst out. He only waited to catch his breath to begin again. The tears coursed down his cheeks. He held his hands to his sides as if he would prevent their exploding, so funny did this announcement appear to him. Carrie waited patiently for him to subside, only venturing to ask if she should pat him on the back to keep him out of what she thought looked to be a fit. When he had stopped to breathe the second or third time, she put in an appeal to be a sharer in the joke. "Well, well! that is the last note! Of all things, my THE BOOK ON PROPER PROPAGATION. 413 dear, I hope you will not get those absurd ideas in your head that have infested Mother Junk. I will admit much of the truth and justice of mother s theories, "but a few old women cannot overturn the world." "A few old women may set the ball moving that will over turn the world in regard to those truths. Have you ever seen this manuscript, that seems to affect your risibles so much ? " "No," said Joel; "but I can guess what it is. In all probability it is a long-winded appeal for a better condition of things that God shall make a new creation or something of this sort; that the first plan was a mistake." Carrie smiled, and replied: " You are not so wide of the mark. Throwing all bombast aside, there are some grand and lofty truths. True, they wear a homely dress, but the substance, the spirit of the thing, is sublime. Please listen to me, and not begin one of those prolonged fits of laughter, which, if indulged in frequently, will end in your ruin. The ideas in this mass are far beyond anything I can con ceive. It was written in the vigor of her life, with her wide range of experience. The same thoughts, rendered in more delicate language, would be received with enthusiasm by the world." " Indeed! You interest me. Can I be favored with a perusal of this manuscript before you begin the revising ? " " Most certainly," replied Carrie; " that is the very thing I wish to talk to you about." "I remember," said Joel, "when I was quite a little shaver, mother was forever talking to me about a book she had written on the Proper Propagation of the American Race. I classed it with all the rest of her manoeuvres, which are as eccentric as possible; however, I will say that I have never seen man or woman who worked so tenaciously for the right as does Mother Junk." "When we admit that," said the little wife, "we admit the embodiment of all virtues. Mother Junk is a character, and in point of principle a decided one." 414 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. "In what form is this book to appear? Philosophical reasoning, or in story form ? " I would like your opinion on the subject. I clo not feel adequate to philosophy. If I could use the truth in story form I could handle it better." " So you purpose to make it a cross between a romance and a medical work, eh ? " "There you go again! Who has said anything about a medical work ? " " Well, a book on surgery, then, if it cuts and slashes the social question (as I make no doubt it does). A work on surgery is a good title. As I understand it, it is an amend ment of old rules and ideas. Is it not so ?" " Yes, it has a touch of it." " Very good. A philosopher will never make a good ro mance writer." "Do you pretend to say that our best romance writers give the world no high philosophical truths? I should not care to read a romance with no philosophical truths in it." Joel raised his wife s hand to his lips, and bowed his head respectfully. "My dear, I will admit that a romance with no moral truth is worthless; and high moral savors of philosophy. But the line is distinct between romance and philosophy, romance and religion, romance and medicine, romance and science; and whoever attempts to combine these separate directions spoils both." " But," said Carrie, " we have had beautiful truths given us in the form of a story : too natural even to seem true. We have had it painted vivid and healthful, so that the masses were benefited by it." " In those works where the largest amount of humor was displayed there was the least philosophical reasoning on re form questions." " Well, Joel, do you think we must confine ourselves to the past? Will no new fields open up to us, and make passable this road, if we choose to travel it?" A MISTY, MYSTERIOUS PLACE. 415 1 Admissible it may be, but the result will be a conglom eration that will make it difficult to separate truth from fiction. Truth and falsehood never went hand in hand." " Is the pure pen-painting of humorous nature an un truth?" "No, not actually. If the writer is seeking notoriety, it is an extravagant truth." " No more extravagant than the character from which it is drawn," said Carrie." fl In romance writing those are the exceptions, not the rule." " If one exception may be admitted, they may be so gen eral as to become a rule." There is an old-established rule that I have not time to relate to-day," said Joel, taking his wife s face between the palms of his hands, and kissing her lips. " And what may that be, pray ?" " "Why, that a woman must have the last word." "Ah! that is a piece of gallantry that men have been forced to accord us. "We have shown ourselves such gen erals in talking that men have made a show of retiring from the field willingly, when in reality they retire vanquished." Again Joel kissed his wife, ran to the door, opened it, and cried "Vanquished!" closed the door, opened it a little way, and said " Vanquished!" took his hat from the rack in the hall, opened the street-door, ran down the walk, turned, and looked up at the windows where his wife stood, looking and smiling. He struck an attitude, flourished his hat around, and cried, " I retire from the field vanquished!" We will turn from this luxurious home, filled with peace, comfort, plenty and good-will to mankind, and visit one of the lowest dens in the city, for the purpose of buying crash. On our former visit we did not mention a small door that led from the front room or main entrance. A person over four feet tall would have to stoop to get in at this door. It appeared to be a place for fueling, or a store-room. It is 4 1 6 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. between twelve and one o clock at night. The street door is barred with an iron bar. There are no lights; and no matter how thirsty you might be if you were passing that way, you could not get a drink. We open this small door and find ourselves in a narrow passage about three feet long. Opposite the little door is a door of the usual size. On opening this we find ourselves in a room densely filled with tobacco smoke. From the misty blue clouds peer faces of men. In this misty, mysterious, dark, unknown room are six men sitting around a round table, playing cards. The room is lighted by three tallow candles in big junk bottles. Some of the men are smoking clay pipes, and others, clumsy wooden ones. The tobacco is so vile that it would be instant death to a pole-cat were such an animal so un fortunate as to be cast among them. You might look a long time before you could find another set of such hard ened-looking roughs. Some silver coin lay on each corner of the table, and the greasy cards were lain one upon the other with no gentle hands. The red man came up and pulled Tom Splinter by the sleeve. " Get out, you hound! Have you no more manners than to worry a gentleman when he has staked all his money ? Business of importance, is it? Some more of your twaddle, I ll be bound. Wait, Red, until I have finished this game. Look here! if it is any nonsense I ll choke you. You ll be redder in the face than you ever was before," and Mr. Splinter went on with his game. The interruption seemed to cause him to play less cau tiously, for he lost his money and arose from the table with an oath, and walked to the farther corner of the room, where the red man followed him. He thrust his hand be hind the bosom of his red flannel shirt and drew out Two- fifty s letter and handed it to Tom Splinter, saying : " She vas py me." Fool, bring me a light. Do you think I am a cat ? Then HE WAS AN AMERICAN GAMBLER. 417 go back to the table take my place put up all the money you have play like the devil do you hear?" The man went to a small cupboard built on the wall, felt around, brought out another candle, stuck it into an empty wine bottle, and was just striking a match to light it when he was called by Tom Splinter, who hissed in his ear: " You idiot! Who told you to light it?" Tom Splinter took the bottle and moved to the opposite side of the room, opened the door, locked it behind him, and stood in the small dark entry-way that divided the two rooms. He sat down on some old sacks and proceeded to read the first epistle that Two-fifty ever wrote. He had no difficulty in making out the meaning. At every sentence he ejaculated: "Kich! rich!" He read and re-read, folded up the letter and placed it in his pocket. He at once as sumed an attitude of musing. The original make-up of this man was not brutish, but he had retrograded into something but one degree above a beast. Tom Splinter was an American a gambler who had come down from one grade to another, until he is where we find him. A few years back and he was a dashing sport; now he is a robber not one of the highway a pickpocket, a burglar. In times gone by he aspired to the calling of a gentlemanly pickpocket; but now his appearance is such that to approach any one near enough to pick a pocket would at once create suspicion. He was Two-fifty s power ful ally; an old stand-by who had many and oft times been secreted in her den perpetrating crime upon crime, and elud ing the grasp of the law by her cunning. Tom Splinter had confidence in her far-seeing; therefore was ready at her beck and call; and when a good-paying thing was pointed out to her, he had been heard to say: " Let a woman alone for deceiving. I had rather trust one woman that is up to snuff than a dozen men/ Every now and then he would burst into a little self-satisfied laugh, and no one knows how long he would have sat there, had not a key 27 41 8 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. rattled in the lock, the door opened, and the men began to pass out single file, unlocking the next door. " Halloo, Tom! what s the matter?" sung out one of the men. " Nothing. I thought I d take a little nap until it was time to go out. I was so devilish sleepy." "Oh! that s it, hey?" Tom arose, joined the file, and passed out into the street. They divided up, and took separate ways. "VVe shall not follow them to-night, or rather this morning; for it is three o clock A. M. If next day had been election day, and Tom Splinter the candidate for city alderman, he could not have bestirred himself with greater activity. He gave his seedy clothing an extra brush; he adjusted his necktie with as much care as if he were about to attend his own wedding. The little room, where he usually spent the small hours, was an old tumble-down tenement building, where the riffraff crept like a great family of rats. It was filled up with a class that were too indolent to work, and who could eke out a sub sistence by begging and stealing. These rooms ranged in rent from one to two dollars per month. It would take at least half a dozen Madame Junks to fit these people for heaven, or even a decent place on earth. After a due amount of picking the feathers and lint, dry sticks and straw from his clothing, Tom Splinter took a squint at himself in a bit of a glass that leaned against a window-pane. It was well he did, for he discovered that the corners of his eyes were not altogether clean, but he soon set them to rights by the aid of his forefinger, and with the aid of his four fingers he combed his hair, and set his hat on with something of his old jauntiness; making this last effective touch to his toilet, he proceeded to take a morning walk. It is a little beginning, but sometimes little begin nings make great endings. Tom Splinter walked briskly out upon the main road that leads out of the city toward IF SHE WERE A YOUNGER WOMAN. 419 the Home for Reforming Depraved Plumanity. Tom Splin ter could read and write, and had received a fair education. Moreover, he was a man of address (or used to be), and could assume that role on the shortest notice, or he could play the vagrant, whichever the case demanded. At every step he was cogitating. " If she were a younger woman, I should know what to do; but an old dame is not so fond of flattery, unless it be to praise her good deeds. Well, I shall soon see my cue/ soliloquized Tom Splinter, as he looked up and saw the Home loom up from a rise of ground a mile ahead of him. "Ha! ha! ha! that is a good note. A mill for grinding coarse grain. Well, my grist will soon be there; but I fear I shall turn out nothing but bran. I only hope the old lady won t see the brand before she accepts the job of grinding. The brand seems to be stamped upon rne of late. I remem ber when I passed for something finer; but old has-been is of no use to me now. This world is made up of a great set of noodles, or they would see that good folks have a much better time than bad ones. Why, a man that does right has as easy a road as any one could wish to travel." The nearer he came to the Home the more exact he was in his weight of bad and good. In this morning-walk Tom Splinter was not alone. On either side walked the two angels. The angel of good ever and anon bidding the evil one to fall in the rear; but with bold and powerful strides he kept pace with his victim, and continually whis pered, "Too late! too late!" until the still small voice of good could no longer battle with the evil. The great gate swung on its hinges, and a wolf was within the fold. Tom Splinter passed up the walk, and stood under the scroll on which was written, " Lest a man be born again he cannot enter the kingdom of heaven." He looked up, and read the inscription. The devil whispered, "It is a lie!" Tom Splinter pulled the bell, and settled his face into a down trodden expression; and when the door opened he was the 42 O MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. most forsaken-looking object you could find in a day s travel. Madame Junk appeared upon the threshold, and looked at the man over her glasses. " Madame, is this a place where a bad man may reform, and lead a good life ?" Madame Junk was surprised by the tone of voice, and could not for a moment answer. His enunciation was so clear that she at once saw that he was an American. There was something in the tone of his voice which said plainly, " I am not to be put off !" There was a determined will in it; so much so that Madame Junk said, " Will you please to walk in, Sir ?" She took him into the little chapel, where she took all "Freshmen." There was a more religious influence per vading the atmosphere there than in any other room in the house. And the most hardened villain does stand in awe of an altar where he knows daily the pure prayers of the right eous go up. " Are you the good lady who helps the depraved sinner to walk the paths of rectitude and virtue ?" Madame Junk was pleased. Had her fame thus spread ? "Were the wretched sinners looking to her as a saviour? If things continued on in this way they bade fair to outstrip her wildest imagination on the reform question. Madame Junk informed Tom Splinter that this was a place where they helped the weak to be strong. In contrite tones Tom Splinter told her that he was in need of strength. He requested to be admitted into the Home, a request which was readily granted. The introduction into the Home consisted of a warm bath, with plenty of soap, clean clothes, something to eat, and a long prayer from Madame Junk by way of a moral cleanser. Larry O Doodle eyed this man with suspicion. He told Madame Junk " to be after looking out for this American; for when Americans are after baing knaves they ba brisk ones " a f a ct which Madame Junk, by her past experience, SHE TOLD HIM ALL. 42! had learned. She knew that in classical rascality the Amer ican man out-generals the world. She remembered many years since of hearing a connoisseur of the varied accomplish ments which make up an American rascal, say, " You may take one supreme scoundrel from each nation of the world and condense them into one, then extract the rascality, and simmer it down; and the American rascal, with his one in gredient, can make up a decoction stronger than the whole combined." It was one of those calm, still nights when the heat is oppressive. All the windows of the Reformatory Home had been let down at the top. So silent was it that the chirp of the cricket could be heard. The black-beetle buzzed and bunted against the window-pane, as Two-fifty emerged from her little room and stepped into the hall. Beneath her softened tread the boards creaked. A succession of creaks might wake the inmates, but a creak at distant intervals would not be noticed; so one step at a time was all Two- fifty ventured upon. As she stood in the centre of the hall, so huge and dark that, had you been stationed at the other end, you would have thought one of Dan Rice s elephants had escaped the menagerie, and had made its way to Mad ame Junk to be born again. Two-fifty regulated her breath ing to chord with the chirp of the cricket. Her respiration was like opening the valve to a locomotive. Patience does its perfect work. Slowly she gained ground, and at last arrived in front of Tom Splinter s door. She placed her mouth at the keyhole, and gave the old countersign "Neat! neat! neat!" The word had its effect, for the door opened on its greased hinges, and Two-fifty stood within. The two took a seat on the edge of the bed. They conversed in whispers, scarce above a breath. Two-fifty imparted to Tom Splinter all she knew. She told him where the Senator lived. She de scribed in her imperfect English the lay of the land. She told him where Mrs. Glewer lived, and where the business 422 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. was situated. There was not much money in the treasuiy of the Home, but what there was Mr. Splinter would take. He was not a man to slight an old friend; he saw no reason why he should turn the cold shoulder on the Home, just because its funds happened to be low. Oh no! there was nothing mean about Tom Splinter in that way. He would do the square thing and take what they had. Madame Junk had been good to him she had given him a bath and a prayer and it looked to Splinter like the height of mean ness not to return the compliment by taking all he could lay his hands on. It would be necessary to communicate with the outside; there must be secret consultations; the train must be laid; and in order to do this, Splinter must go to the city. How could he go to the city without creat ing suspicion ? It was four o clock when Mrs. Pictpink left, and from that time until it was time to arise and attend the morning prayers, did Splinter cogitate. He made long plans and ripped them up again. The long and short of the matter was, Tom Splinter did not sleep one wink. What with waiting all the forepart of the night for Two-fifty, fearing if he dozed off he might not wake up again, then the con versation carried on in such a laborious way, all tended to make Mr. Splinter look so weary and worn as to attract Madame Junk s solicitude in regard to his health. That morniDg her prayer was longer and more earnest. A part of it was in the form of an especial request for the good health of the inmates. There was something peculiarly touching about it. As Tom Splinter was kneeling, in obedience to the rules, again the good angel drew near and stood by his right hand and whispered: "Beware! beware!" The ominous shadow on the left whispered: " Too late! too late!" It was too late several hours too late for safety. Had he not confided in a woman who was past redemption ? She would disclose all she knew of his past life; he must go to IT WAS A SPECIMEN BEAN. 423 prison there was enough to send him there. " Coward! coward!" whispered the dark angel. " Religion will do for women and children; but for a brave man like Tom Splinter, who has faced danger in a thousand forms, to come down and be prayed to heaven by an old woman !" "Not born right?" said Tom Splinter. "Yes; that is the word, and it must be true, for I cannot remember a time when I have not done all the mischief that I could. My mother must have had large acquisitiveness; and my father why! he was as lazy a devil as ever stood in boots. Hi! ho! blood will tell; and here I am, a candidate for being born again; and need enough there is, I assure you." " Time enough/ whispered the still small voice. "Too late! too late!" re-echoed the evil. " Well, indade!" said Larry O Doodle, after Tom Splin ter had been in the Reformatory Home some six weeks. " Shure enough, this is the place where they cast the clivil out. Howly Mother Mary ! I could never been after think ing that same Sphlinter could bagood! and Two-fifty is as quiet as a lamb. Two wolves made over into shape intirely! Begorral it bates meself. Well, well, Misthress Junks, you have done the job nately ! There is one thing I will be after saying: Thim that is not born agin would ba, if thim was knowing how nate a body feels. Why, I am as light as a feather, and as happy as a man can ba. Tis Larry O Doodle that is much obleeged to thim beautiful creatures." As Larry was soliloquizing, he took from his pocket two beans; one was black, and the other a white one. The black one he had named Larry O Doodle. The white one was an extraordinary bean for beauty; it was large, clear and white, without a speck. It was a specimen bean, and its name was Catharine Glewer. Larry picked it up with his thumb and forefinger. "Well, it is as like her as two beans can ba. I will kape them while I live, and whin I am dead they shall be buried wid me. I will plant thim in hiven, when she will ba there to see thim grow. Tis not 424 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. the likes of Larry O Doodle that will ba after baiDg in the same class wid Katy in hiven. But she will come into my garden sometimes, as she has done here, and ba looking at Larry wid her beautiful wonder eyes. Tis meself that will ba kneeling at her feet and saying: c Katy, you saved me sowl. May the divil and all his imps fly away wid the new husband if he is not good to her." With this thunderbolt hurled at the new husband, he placed Catharine Glewer and Larry O Doodle side by side and did them up compactly in a bit of white paper, and placed them over his heart. Larry felt everlastingly certain of one thing, and that was that Kate would never show Mr. Stanly how to cultivate beans. It was not probable she ever taught a man before him, or ever would again. Only those of deep sentiment can understand what a satis faction and what comfort this gave Larry. Two beans seem a trine to give a man so much pleasure, but those two beans were grains of gold from an interior life. Who shall say that Larry O Doodle was not a man of large sentimental nature and of fine texture? This little shrine this private altar before which he bowed none knew he had ever erected. No human eye had ever desecrated its precincts; none but God knew of his worship. His secret would be buried with him and the beans. About this time the old Scotchman was taken ill. He lingered a few days and passed away, blessing God and Madame Junk. Two-fifty made a show of grief, but in reality was glad. The old man died in the full belief that his wife had reformed. He died in the sincere belief of the vicarious, atonement. CHAPTER XLIX. A FRESH DEBUT A LETTER TO GENERAL GRANT A NOVEL TURNOUT MALICE AFORETHOUGHT, OR MARRIAGE. THE winter had come and gone. The " old Virginia coon," as Albert was pleased to term him, bade adieu to the California elephant. He had viewed it from all sides, and pronounced it an animal of magnitude -one that would in the future be able to show the world a pair of tusks not to be equaled on the continent of America. This was highly gratifying to Albert, who felt in this instance that he was the showman. Mr. and Mrs. Fletcher returned with the expectation that Joel and his wife would pass the following winter with them. If Mr. Boen Fletcher had been anxious to avoid the publicity of an open acknowledgment of his son, he was now doubly anxious to make that acknowledgment. In his fancy he pictured himself treading the saloons in which the elite of Washington society were gathered, with Carrie on his arm, the now popular authoress and daughter of Senator Smith. Yes, indeed! he would present her with due pomp and ceremony to the very cream. He would show them how an old house of the F. F. V. s could maintain its dig nity. It would, doubtless, give him such prestige as he had not enjoyed since he was *a j oung man, and was the desirable catch of the old Virginia belles. Mr. Fletcher could scarcely wait for the time when he should, as it were, make a fresh debut. Not so with Mrs. Fletcher. She wished to acknowledge her son because it was his right to be acknowledged, and because she was proud of him. (425) 426 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. Madame Junk had this night offered up a prayer of un usual length, and with renewed zeal. She was "bent on more reformatory measures. She had expressed her views through several different organs. She had received very nattering support in the way of editorial notices, as well as from the pulpit. She had petitioned to Congress, and had addressed the President of the United States, regarding a reformatory home for boys. Carrie ventured to remark that she scarcely thought the President would "be likely to pay personal attention to this matter. Madame Junk re plied, in turn, that it would do no harm to try him any way. She would never be able to see why he should not take a personal interest in our boys. Was he not acting in the capacity of a father to our country? And if a father cannot look after his boys, who should ? For the benefit of the reader (hoping Madame Junk will pardon our freedom), we will give the subjoined letter: FRANCISCO, June 10, 1876. To U. S. GRANT, President of these United States. DEAR GENERAL: I write asking your kind counsel and wis dom with reference to a project of erecting a reformatory home for vagrant bo3 r s. The future generation will be a demoralized one if things go on in this way. Knowing you have been a great General on the field of battle, I hope you will come to the front in this question. " Eeform ! reform I" is the watchword that should resound from every beacon hill on the continent of America. I ask, what is to become of this Republic unless honest men can be made of our boys ? I know you will be interested in the future of our country in raising up honest men that can fill our places of trust with integrity. President, I do hope you will head our subscription list with at least twenty-five dollars. I have for some time been at the head of a Reformatory Home. I gave my all for its erection, which, comparatively speaking, was but the widow s mite. The title of this Home is a " Home for Reforming Depraved Humanity." For you know it has been written in Scripture, "Lest a man be born again he cannot enter the kingdom of heaven." These MADAME JUNK S LETTER TO GENERAL GRANT. 427 words are inscribed on a scroll over the door. I have met with great success. Not one sinner that has come in under this scroll but has become contrite, and willing to abide by God s holy law. I would not ask you to subscribe for this Home if I had money of my own. I am aware you have great expenses, and I presume that many times you feel it is all you can stand under. But remember this is a Christian work, and it is the duty of every Christian to support it as far as his means will allow. For a referee I give you Mr. Boen Fletcher, of your city, who recently visited my Home, and can tell you all about it. Hoping to hear from you at your earliest opportunity, and that you will inclose me at least twenty-five dollars to ward the erection of this new Home, I beg to subscribe myself, Your most obedient Servant, MADAME JANE JUNK, (Descendant of Oliver Cromwell. ) P.S. If you know of any Congressmen who would give a little, I should feel obliged if you would ask them. M. J. J. Madame Junk had long designed to address General Grant, and, if possible, enlist his sympathies in what must seem to him a great question. She was not a little proud of her achievement; so much so, that the next time Senator Smith called she handed it to him to peruse. Of course he recommended sending it; said it was "just the ticket," and further added that any man who could withstand an appeal of that sort was not fit to be President of the United States, and he, for one, would not vote for him a third term; and that was not all; when it became known that he would not support a worthy thing like that, there were others who would not vote for him. Madame Junk mailed the letter, and although the time has long since elapsed when she should have received an answer, there is none forthcoming. Miss Busy s school diminished. In place of the large boarding-school she was formerly mistress of, she could now 428 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. call to order only half a dozen unruly little girls. Miss Busy had laid up a snug little sum, and was not likely to come to want. She rode in her own chaise, and wore the stiffest black ribbons on her bonnet that could be found in the market. Her postilion was English. Miss Busy s novel turnout attracted much attention. The very idea of a sin gle woman seated alone in a two-wheeled chaise, with a postilion riding the horse, gave her at least the appearance of great eccentricity. Miss Busy s real motive was to con vey the impression -that she was a woman of great wealth a founder who chose to do as she pleased in unenlightened America. If the small boys laughed, it was because they were ill-bred and had never visited England. If Mr. Stanly s carriage and Miss Busy s chaise met upon the high way, Miss Busy was greeted by a lift of the hat and a friendly smile from Mr. Stanly, which were returned by Miss Busy with a short quick nod, that made the stiff rib bons on her bonnet crack so loud as to set the horse into a brisk canter, as though he had scented a plebeian. We have hinted in some former chapter that David De light Spludge had his eye on Miss Busy with malice afore thought or marriage. Mr. Spludge had made several calls upon Miss Busy. Miss Busy thought one might go through the woods and pick up a crooked stick at last. She saw herself at the head of an establishment and a loved and honored wife a position every true woman desires. Mr. Spludge became quite attentive to Miss Busy. He walked to church with her Sabbath evenings, and accom panied her to lectures, and once or twice was seen to ride out with her after his own span. Miss Busy indulged in a little color now, and wore a cherry-colored neck ribbon, and returned Mr. Stanly s greeting with less stiffness. She began contemplating her wedding outfit; she finally decided on a silver-gray silk, ornamented with lace. Should she wear orange blossoms? She never had worn them why not? However, on more THE BANNS SHOULD BE CALLED IN CHURCH. 429 mature reflection she concluded not, for, as an educated lady, Miss Busy is supposed to have taste; and a woman something over fifty summers would hardly look well in orange blossoms. But there was one thing her respecta bility demanded, and that was that the banns should be called in church some weeks prior to the wedding. There was a certain pride in announcing to the world that she was desired in marriage. It gave the world to understand that the banns might have been called long ago, if she had only said the word. Of course, she must give up the school. She would write a note to the parents of each pupil, stat ing her reasons for this step. Doubtless, congratulations would pour in upon her, which would be received with that dignity becoming an English lady. CHAPTER L. STERNNA IN SCOTLAND LARRY O DOODLE S RIDE WITH MISTHRESS STANLYTI1E FUNERAL. STERNNA had crossed the broad Atlantic accompanied with a maid -servant and Rory. As she stepped on the borders of her own native country her heart was moved. As for Rory, his enthusiasm knew no bounds. Could she and would she ever learn to love their old home ways ? Could she live forever amid a people so foreign to her, com ing as she did from a land of liberal thoughts? These people, with their narrow views, who were constraind to conservative rules, would not be likely to have feelings in common with her. She, with her liberal thoughts, could seemingly conform to them much better than they could to her. Sternna s fame had preceded her. Had Sternna been obscure, and never built herself a name that was destined to live long after she had passed away, she would have found it much more difficult to establish herself in her rights. She did not return to these people a poor castaway from an obscure corner of the earth, but as one who was universally acknowledged by superior-minded people; there was a pride in having such a member in the family. In that province in which the Earl of Be Clue s estate lay the news of Sternna s advent among them became known. Her father s tenants loved him, one and all, and loving him must love his child. From them Sternna learned much of his early life. She walked in the long twilights peculiar to that country among the cottagers upon her father s vast estate, and talked with them. They answered her ques- (430) HE HAS GONE. 431 tions in broad Scotch dialect, which in time became so familiar to her that she anticipated their fullest meaning. If she approached these old-time folks they would greet her with, "How loik! how loik thy bonnie mather." To have disputed her right would have been to doubt their own eyes. " It is our wee lady come bock agin." To Sternna s family it was a source of wonder that she could pass so much time with these peasants. But real picturesque pic tures are found in the humble walks of life. Amid these people she often saw scenes that inspired her to paint char acters such as Walter Scott would have woven into romance. One morning Sternna seemed very much moved after look ing over her mail from America, so much so that it caused one of her aunts to ask, "What hast thou heard, kins woman?" Sternna wiped her eyes, and looking up informed her aunt of the death of the old man in whose cabin she passed some days of her infancy. " Poor old man! " said Sternna. She moved quickly over that part of the letter referring to the old man s death to things more pleasant. We will go back to America. The Old Hermit of the Mountains had passed away. His last words on earth were, " Devils, snakes, every one of em." Madame Junk stood by his bedside, and ministered to his last wants. She nursed him tenderly. One night Madame Junk was aroused by Larry calling, " Misthress Junks, dress yourself, plase. The old man is going on a long journey." She hastened to the old man s room just in time to hear his last parting word. Madame Junk stepped to the bed side, and raised her eyes to heaven. Her lips moved, and a heartfelt silent appeal arose to the throne of grace in behalf of the old man. " He has gone, Larry," said Madame Junk, turning round as she spoke. "I beg pardon, Misthress Junks. I did not think he would be after setting out so soon." 432 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " "Well, Larry, it is the way of all the earth. This life is but one step to a life eternal." " Hiven ba praised for that/ echoed Larry. " You will go to the city as soon as daylight, and make arrangements for the funeral. Order the undertaker out, call at Senator Smith s, call at Miss Busy s, and on good Dr. S ." Madame Junk paused for a moment, and raised her forefinger to her lips, as if in meditation. I think I will write a note, Larry. Call at Mr. Stanly s. Tell Mrs. Stanly I wish her to come out this morning." At the name of Mrs. Stanly, Larry gave a little jump, that was so perceptible that Madame Junk asked him what the matter was. "Nothing but a catch in me side," replied Larry, placing his hand over his heart. " How thoughtless I have been, Larry. You have been up night after night, and are completely wearied out. I will make a strong cup of coffee." There was real concern in Madame Junk s tones, and all that Larry could do she would make the coffee. Madame Junk always sent for Kate when any great event transpired. In trials where strength was required, Kate was her strong pillar. Mrs. Stanly s clear reasoning and nimble fingers untangled almost any snarl, however complicated it might be. By the time the coffee was made and drank, it was day light, and Larry O Doodle went out to saddle the American Girl, and Madame Junk proceeded to wake up the inmates. She then addressed a short note to the good Dr. S . By the time Larry rode up to the door, it was sealed and super scribed. She stepped to the door, handed it up to Larry, at the same time giving him fresh directions. Larry rode out of the gate, and, putting spurs to the American Girl, galloped toward the rising sun. The morn ing air was fresh, and made his cheeks look rosy. Larry sat easy in his saddle, and looked as gay as an Irish dragoon. THE DRIVE TO THE HOME. 433 His thoughts were far in advance of him; he was thinking how he should deport himself before these people. But, to tell the truth, the esteem of Mrs. Catharine Stanly was about all he cared for. She would come out that day, of course. The new husband would not come with her, and Larry was glad. What was he thinking that for ? Had not Mr. Stanly always been kind to him ? Any of our readers who have ever been in love, and had a rival, understands that it is the most natural thing in the world to make him or her out the very embodiment of evil. Larry O Doodle had secretly sworn to himself that if he should ever catch John Bull saying one unkind word to his ideal saint, he would nay him alive. It was not long before Larry arrived at Mr. Stanly s house. How his heart jumped and thumped after he had delivered the message and was told by Mr. Stanly that it would be utterly impossible for him to drive Mrs. Stanly out that morning, and his groom was laid up with a lame foot. " Suppose, Larry, you put your beast up in the barn and drive Mrs. Stanly out? It will, I presume, be uncer tain when she can return. You can drive her in, can you not? What do you say to that, Larry?" Larry twirled his hat round on his fist. The blood mounted to his forehead. (f Yes, Sir," was every word he could utter. Had Mr. Stanly made Larry a present of a million of dollars he would not have been more pleased than he was, to ride five miles alone with Mr. Stanly s wife. It was a greater blessing than Larry ever expected to have vouch safed to him. We dare be sworn that he would have sacri ficed every old man in the country if it could bring about such a result; and although having a great reverence for women, we presume he would have thrown in a few old women. Larry was not long in bringing around the hand some grays. There was something of the jockey about his 28 434 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. way of handling the ribbons that quite took Mr. Stanly s eye. He would then and there have offered Larry O Doodle a situation as groom, but the thought of removing such a useful man as Larry had become in the Reformatory Home was against Mr. Stanly s principles. Mrs. Catharine Stanly came tripping down the steps, while her two admirers stood on the walk thinking her the most beautiful woman they ever saw. Her cheeks were like roses, and her dark eyes shone with unwonted lustre that the least excitement always lent them. Her husband helped her into the carriage, and she ordered Larry to throw the top far back, for she wanted the clear morning air. Larry returned to the horses heads and held the bridle reins, while Kate leaned far out over a hind wheel and spoke in low tones to her husband, but not so low that the quick ear of Larry O Doodle did not catch the words. My dear, I shall not see } T OU again for all day. It will be such a long time. Do be in when I return, won t you?" "To be sure I shall," said Mr. Stanly, with a laugh. < All ready, Larry!" And Larry was climbing up to the front seat, and the grays were soon .in a brisk trot, while Catharine Stanly was throwing kisses over the hind wheels to her husband, and he was tossing them back by the handful. It was some ten minutes that Kate was wholly preoccupied with her self and her other dear self. How she loved that man! She lived, as it were, in the sunlight of his love. How could she bear it if he should be taken from her by death ? How well he understood her! She might have consumed the whole drive by her own selfish thoughts, had she not, on looking up, caught the expression on Larry s face, w r hich was so sorrowful that she felt to reproach herself for not being more attentive. She at once began a voluble conver sation, embracing many things. How his face changed! It grew radiant. She asked him questions and seemed to take such a real interest in him that it was the happiest moment of Larry s life. THE CONVERSATION. 435 Tlio reins slackened and the horses were going their own jog, while Larry turned half round in his seat and answered her questions. Among them was: "Did he intend to re main at the Reformatory Home?" " While Madame Junk lived he did. He would not see her imposed upon, as he knew she would be. She was get ting old now and needed a prop." "Yes, Larry, that is true; you have been a good and faithful friend to her. You will be rewarded some time. I shall not forget you, Larry. You. can always look to me as a friend. Touch the horses, Larry. I fear Madame Junk will be impatient." At this, Larry O Doodle squared himself on the seat and laid the long lash over the horses backs gently, which set them clapping their shod hoofs upon the hard road. Larry looked at the horses ears, and thought: " She will not for get me; she is my friend." How bright and beautiful every thing looked to him as he drove along! He had thought he had been born again, but he was positive of it now. He glanced at familiar objects as they passed, but thought alone of his idol. Catharine Stanly folded her shawl more closely over her heart, as if she would keep her cherished love from the rude glare of the world, and thought alone of her idol that she will not see again for some hours, little dreaming the man before her had enshrined her image in his heart, never to be erased. " It is a little thing to give a cup of water. Yet the cool refreshment drained by fevered lips may give a shock of pleasure to the frame." Larry O Doodle was not presuming; therefore it was far better Kate did not know the real condition of his feelings. He was content to worship at a distance, and one kind word was sufficient for him to live upon for years. "Why withhold it? But had Catharine Stanly known the truth, Larry O Doodle would never have had an opportunity to talk beans with her. 436 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. Madame Junk was standing in the door shading her eyes with her hand when the grays hove in sight. Larry put the lash to the horses, making it appear that he had driven at that jog all the way. The funeral passed off as all well-regulated funerals do. Madame Junk insisted on having a profusion of flowers, and long before the undertaker had the body laid out she began composing the epitaph. She vowed it should be the most appropriate thing extant, and, as for simplicity, why, it was the very embodiment of it. It read as follows : "BETRAYED ON EARTH AND TRUSTED IN HEAVEN." She would have the good Dr. S refer to the poor old man s disappointment in a delicate way, and if he had not always been a Christian there was a reason for it. Madame Junk insisted on appearing in black at the funeral. When remonstrated with by Kate, she said, "Poor old man, I should not consider there had been a decent funeral with no one in black to follow him to the grave." A stranger might suppose Madame Junk was the widow of the deceased. Although there were no tears shed, Madame Junk drew her black veil down closely over her face. It was not possible to regret his death, for the old man had long been a burden to himself. Madame Junk had gained fame as an epitaph writer. Lone widows from time to time called upon her for a few neat and appropriate words to be placed upon their dear departeds 3 tombstones. If the deceased had one spark of goodness in him, that was made the most of; and the world was not allowed to forget a man s virtues if Madame Junk had a hand in writing his epitaph. CHAPTEK LI. THE GOOD AND BAD ANGELS MADAME JUNK S PRES ENT HALF-STARVED CHURCH MEMBERS. K. SPLINTEK, it is against our rules to allow an inmate to go into the city so soon after being taken into the Home. You say you know a man who is desirous of being reformed. I was about to suggest that Larry O Doodle go in and bring him out, but in this instance I will make an exception to my rules. Is he a very bad man ? " asked Madame Junk, in a timid tone. " Oh, he never murdered any one; he is not a thief," said Splinter, in a tone of voice that would imply that there were a lot of miscellaneous sins which were sadly in need of being sorted. " What seems to be the matter with this man ? When a physician gives a diagnosis of a disease he would like to get at the main points in the case/ 3 " Well, there is nothing so dreadful bad about him; he is intemperate and indolent/ " Don t you call that dreadful bad ? For my part I think it one of the worst vices." " Well, it is bad enough, that is true; but you know it is easier for a drunken man to become sober than for a fool to grow wise." Madame Junk looked at Splinter over her glasses, then through them. " Mr. Splinter, your life seems to have been a mistake. Nature fitted you to adorn society in place of the life you have been leading." (437) MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. "My good lady, Dame Nature has been tricking herself then for many a year/ " Yes, yes," queried Madame Junk; "we should have had a home for such as you years ago. I am grieved beyond measure that I have not the power to erect a home for young wanderers, to educate them, and teach them the love of God. O Lord! I am thy willing servant. I pray Thou mayest find young, strong hearts and willing hands to do Thy work. Would to God I could take each erring child of thine, and teach it to walk the path of rectitude and vir tue. O God! for all such I ask thy especial blessing." It was an impromptu prayer arising from Madame Junk s religious fervor. Again the still small voice of a better nature whispered, " Eepent, repent, Tom Splinter! repent, and be saved!" Again the evil one approached, and whispered, "Fool! craven! tis too late." Neither Madame Junk nor Tom Splinter spoke for some minutes. Splinter was the first to break the silence. " Madame, you should have no regrets. You have done your duty nobly." " Then you appreciate my efforts ?" " Who could look on your work, and not appreciate it?" "Those who understand the high and holy work of others should be able to do one themselves." Again the voice whispered, " True, tine!" " But," said Splinter, coming back with Madame Junk s own argument, " we are not all born right." " But, Mr. Splinter, a man who understands that he was not born right has the control of his own reform." " Not if he is composed of coarse material." "No man is wholly coarse who comprehends his own sins, his own deficiencies. With a knowledge of what he should be there comes the desire to be something better. Ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. Every prayer that goeth up asking that the highest spiritual THE SPIRIT IS WILLING, BUT THE FLESH IS WEAK. 439 nature be brought to the front to do God s most holy work will be answered." " The spirit may be willing, but the flesh is weak," said Tom, quoting Scripture in turn. " By the aid of prayer, the flesh maybe made subservient to the spirit." " Not if the flesh is the strongest." " The spirit of man has always been able to cope with brutes," said Madame Junk, with a smile; " and men with strong brute nature can bring it into subjection by strength ening the spirit with prayer. Mr. Splinter, I do not believe in total depravity/* Tom Splinter arose from his chair; his face flushed red, and then grew white. There was for a moment a stony stare in the large blue eyes. Madame Junk looked sur prised at this strong emotion, and still more so when he walked toward the door, and turned around with something of his old sangfroid, and said, " Madame, I hope you will never have cause to change your opinion." He passed out, and left Madame Junk in a state of wonderment. In that moment the dark angel battled with conscience, and came out victorious. Again the American Girl stood before a load of cabbage and a few " beautiful banes," and sundry other garden truck. Madame Junk and Larry O Doodle stood in the door. " What is the man after going for?" asked Larry. "Why, you see, Larry, there is another man who is in need of help." "Well, Misthress Junks, tis meself that is hoping you will not ba after getting yourself into trouble wid your kindness." " I must not think of that." "Another orphund like meself?" " Larry, we are none of us orphans^ for God is our father and mother." 44-O MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. "A divil of a lot that ll not ba after sajdng their father and mother, I am thinking. I m afeard you be too flush wid your kindness/ " Oh, no danger, Larry; no one ever did herself harm by being kind to others." " Is American Girl to cart out the new load of sin?" "The what, Larry?" "The new man that is to ba born agin." "Oh, we will see. Ho there, Mr. Splinter!" hallooed Madame Junk to Tom Splinter, who was walking in the garden with his hands crossed behind him in deep medita tion. He uncrossed his hands and walked to where Madame Junk and Larry stood. "I wish to ask if your friend will ride with you and Larry this evening ? " Tom Splinter cast his eyes to the ground. His face was covered with confusion. This woman s kindness seemed almost too much for him. How he did wish she would show some arrogance, some suspicion. But this everlasting trust ing, confiding kindness was almost too much for an Ameri can criminal. Something of the old Puritan blood runs in the veins of the lowest of them. To lay violent hands on a woman brands the American man as a coward; but in all other sorts of knavery, political and otherwise, he can, as we have said before, out-general the world. Had Madame Junk been a man, and actuated by the same principles, Torn Splinter would have had no scruples what ever, but as it was he wished himself out of the scrape more than once. If he did sometimes falter, and his foot trip, he would not be likely to fail where there was a big job with money in it. " The veiy idea of tricking an honest woman goes against my grain, but it cannot be helped now. I ll be hanged if I don t make it all right with the old lady some time. If I should die worth a million I will give her every cent of it." We have written some of his thoughts while Madame Junk was waiting for his answer. His face A KIND STAB. 44! recovered its lively expression, and at last he spoke in tones that were "childlike and bland:" "Pray excuse me, Madame, for keeping you waiting so long for my answer." (Splinter felt that the eye of Larry O Doodle was upon him.) " Don t you think it would be as well for me to walk out with this man? I would like to make him acquainted with the rules and regulations of this Home. You see, I feel the responsibility of introducing a man of doubtful reputation into your good Home. If you will allow me, I will keep an eye on this man." "Mr. Splinter, you have no idea how much I appreciate your kindly interest in this work. I feel that you will yet be of great use in this Reformatory Home." How Tom Splinter wished she would not say that ! He only bowed with real diffidence. " Then I have your consent to use my own judgment in this case?" " Most certainly," replied Madame Junk; "a man who has shown such excellent judgment cannot fail to do the right thing." With this kindly stab from the lady, Tom Splinter walked out of the great gate and took his course toward the city. Madame Junk returned to her own little drawing-room, sat down and looked up to a picture on the wall and thought of the long-ago. We have never shown this picture to the reader. We have a spare moment and will do so now. Before Sternna left America for Europe, she wished to make Mother Junk a present of something from her art something of the past from out her own life. She thought of Joel with his bundle of newspapers on his back, the lit tle kitten, the room and the bed in which she used to sleep with Mother Junk; the many old tramps that used to come to the door to be dressed up, and how frightened she was at their red faces and wicked-looking eyes; how kind Mad ame Junk used to be to them, and how they would wear out the clothes and come back for more, with faces redder 442 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. than before. She remembered that Samuel Blower was kind to her, and, with all of his stinginess to others, he would sometimes give her sweetmeats; and one Christmas he gave her a doll, which she named Samuel, out of grati tude. It was a girl doll, and Sternna did not admire the name of Samuel, but it was the only way she could honor her patron. She remembered how very much pleased he seemed at the time, and how immoderately he laughed, which led her to suppose he was as delighted as a man could well be. She remembered he told her to call it Sammy for short, for Samuel was much too big a name for a girl doll. She thought of George Gregory Glewer, how they used to sit at Miss Busy s table, with their heads to gether, and look at pictures. She thought of Carrie and the robin, and last of all the Senator. She thought how he had befriended her when she needed a friend; she felt that she owed all her success to him. Tears were trickling down her cheeks as Madame Junk entered the room. " My child in tears! What is the matter?" " Ketrospecting," said Sternna, looking up with a smile. " It is well to do so," said Madame Jnnk, " if we do it with satisfaction; but I regret that your retrospect brings tears." " They are not tears of sorrow, mother. The remem brance of past kindness may bring tears." " That is true, my dear. I know it from experience." " Mother, you remember that dress you made for me, covered with huge bouquets ?" "Why, certainly; I have it yet. I would not part with it for anything. It was made out of one that used to be my grandmother s, and the material is one hundred years old." " Is it possible?" " Yes; the cloth came from England." " I am very glad you have it. The few remaining days I shall spend with you must be devoted to painting my pic ture, as I looked in that dress at that age." THE CAT WAS ALIVE, HE KNEW. 443 " Glorious!" exclaimed Madame Junk, clapping her hands. (C I shall prize it above all;" and this time tears came into her eyes from the same joyful fountain which had started Sternna s. " But, my child, where will you get the face and form as you looked then ?" " I will take it from my own fancy. I will leave you to judge if it is a correct likeness or not when the picture is finished. Miss Busy will also be a good judge, for she must remember me as I looked then." Accordingly the work was begun, and the fifth day it was completed. Then the little girl stood forth, and the flowers on her dress; the little feet incased in the shoes that were too long, and turned up at the toes, and the bright steel buckles shining like burnished silver. There was the real lace about the neck. There she stood with her pet kitten. The background was composed of an old cane-seated chair and a small tea-chest, on which were large Japanese char acters. Over the edge of this box hung a piece of red flan nel. This was the kitten s sleeping apartment. Seated in the chair was Samuel the doll, sitting as erect as a newly- elected president (pro tern.) of an ice company, staring at you with her glass eyes, her flaxen ringlets laid to the front; her best dress fastened at the neck with a blue glass breast pin larger than her face. Yes, indeed, that was Samuel all over ! Madame Junk could not find words to express her de light. She declared that not only Sternna s likeness was perfect, as she looked at that time, but Samuel s was also good; and there was that tortoise-shell cat to a spot. "Won derful! wonderful, indeed! So great was her joy that she must have the inmates see it. Miss Josephine Blessing was the first summoned, and pronounced it a marvel. Next Larry O Doodle, of the five acres: " Indade, the little girl will ba after sphaking! Och! begorra! the cat is alive, I know." Next in order was Two-fifty, whose remark 444 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. pleased Sternna, because she knew it was true. The first word she said was, " Oh! dat ist der leetle girl vat comes mit you by me ven Ich vas in pusiness." This was all the more valuable to Sternna, as she knew the old woman was not aware that she was painting the picture. This picture was painted about the time Tom Splinter entered the Home for Reforming Depraved Humanity. Madame Junk rapped softly at his door : "Mr. Splinter! Mr. Splinter! do come out, and see my beautiful present. 3 Splinter opened his door, and followed Madame Junk to her room, where Madame Junk explained to him that this picture represented the artist when she was a very little girl. He looked at Sternna, then at the picture; said he could trace a resemblance; did not know that he was competent to judge. But there was one thing he did know: that cat could not be outdone by any artist in the world. As he spoke, he gave a look of reverence to Sternna, which was returned by a mute appeal from her eyes, which spoke as plainly as words, ""Why have you done thus? You have done the wrong knowingly." The evil genius drew near, and whispered, " Out of this room, double-dyed villain, and never again desecrate pure womanhood by thy presence." His departure was so ab rupt that Madame Junk and Sternna exchanged significant glances. The reader will remember this was a scene that transpired before Sternna left America the second time, and before the Old Hermit of the Mountains died. Certainly he must be called to share in Madame Junk s joy. He had grown quite deaf with his imbecility, and Madame Junk came quite close to his ear, and hallooed at the top of her voice: " This is the little girl that was up in the mountains with you when she was a baby. Don t you remember how you used to feed her ? Don t you remember the wee thing ?" hallooed Madame Junk still louder. THE OLD HERMIT. 445 " Yes, yes!" snarled the old man; " the thing was a girl. More devils! more devils! A little devil that will grow into a big devil, that will grow into a snake that will wind and wind, and bite and bite a man s heart out. I know em ! I know em! The devil has got my liver and lights, and ran away with em. Devils! devils! snakes, every one of em ! " Poor old man," said Madame Junk, leading him from the room; "what a pity he was not born right. How his mind wanders; he looks upon all women as enemies." " Tis meself that is thinking he ll ba making a tourch- light of this house to light him into the next world," said Larry O Doodle, as Madame Junk passed down the hall leading the old man to his room. In these days, Madame Junk was in a hilarious mood. It had been a long time since she took the presidential chair, and everything was running as smoothly as any president of the United States could wish. Her inmates were becom ing divested of their coarse material and putting on the habiliments of more spiritual refinement. -Every one spoke well of her, and the press praised her; a thing, I can tell you, gentle reader, not to be sneezed at in this day and age. The Senator drove out once a week, behind his four- in-hand, Mr. and Mrs. Joel Fletcher, Mr. and Mrs. Stanly. You should have seen Larry O Doodle jump when they drove up. No man could have paid him for holding the bridle-reins as did the few words Mrs. Stanly spoke to him. She was wont to say, "Well, Larry, how do you get along with your garden ? " " Save in your presences, Misthress Stanly, the banes are rale nice. Tis meself that has been wishing you wad fancy a taste of thirn." "I should very much like a taste of them, Larry, if you have them to spare. I know they are nice, you take so much care to grow them." "Larry O Doodle wad not ba knowing banes till this day but for you, Misthress Stanly." 446 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. With a little laugli Kate tripped up the steps, looking over her shoulder, saying: " Oh, Larry, not so bad as that." These were happy days for Madame Junk. She was doing a good work, which she was pleased to term tho "Ancient Order of God." Not alone was she gaining a wide reputation, a world-wide fame; and if that was the last consideration it was not the least, for Madame Junk was as much a woman in those regards as most of her sex. As the Senator once remarked, when his little daughter asked him in a letter, " Papa, what is social caste ? " "There is not a woman in the world but would like to be a queen if she could/ We are inclined to agree with him that, hot even in Republican America can we find one. Madame Junk s prolific brain was ever on the alert for reform. She had deep-laid schemes. She would harness up creation; would buckle in the wealthy men with their untold millions; would enlist the clergy, draw them up in line of battle, and make them fight the good fight. Who shall dare stop a phi lanthropic soul bent upon a good work ? There was no whoa to it, nor no, either. A home must be provided for young vagabond boys; they must be fed, clothed, housed and schooled. It could be done, why not? The good Dr. S as well as several other leading clergymen were ready to in dorse it. Madame Junk set the ball in motion, and thus several men of God would preach it from their pulpits the very next Sabbath. The pillars of the church must sup port it, and what the pillars support the congregation is bound to back up back up with all the cash they can spare, not infrequently stinting themselves, until it would be a real mercy for some one to give them a square meal. There is no limit to the aspirations of society and the struggling and suffering of its individual members. They would oft- times exceed the worst case which Madame Junk had ever picked up in the lower or middle walks of life. Their names must cuddle-up on the subscription list beside those of their neighbors who are worth a great sight more and can THE SUBSCRIPTION LIST. 447 well afford it. We make mention of this for the benefit of those who we know will "be called upon, and who we know must suffer by subscribing twenty-five dollars toward this home for vagrant boys. If our words will offer the least encouragement to this class we shall feel abundantly paid for having written them. Take courage, my friends, and say: "No; I will not support a burlesque on charity." Maintain your own self respect and not false appearances. We have taken time by the forelock, and written this little sermon in advance of good Dr. S , who will give out next Sabbath that it is the duty of every one of his congre gation to contribute liberally to this godly work; and we fear there are few, if any, among them who will have the courage to refuse. Hold on, my good Dr. S . He "who tempers the wind to the shorn lamb" knows the suffering of the indi viduals in thy flock. Good Dr. S , you are not arbitrary, but the society of which you form a part is so beyond measure. The monopoly of society demands the highest price paid for passports to heaven. When God said: " In asmuch as ye do unto men in my name, ye do unto me," it is to be inferred that this portion of Scripture means what we do willingly and with the true spirit; not what we do for self-aggrandizement, or to pamper our pride. CHAPTER LII. MISCHIEF ABROAD TALK OF REVISING THE WORK ON THE PROPER PROPAGATION OF THE AMERICAN RACE. r~J"~lHE rain} r season had set in much earlier than was JL usual in California. Such of the inhabitants as had comfortable homes could be found in them evenings. No one could be found on the streets late at night just for the love of walking. The city of San Francisco was as silent as a city could be under a prolonged shower-bath; for when Dame Nature chose to wash the face of the earth in that quarter it was not done in small puddles, but the reservoirs of the clouds broke their ethereal dams and drenched the brown hillsides until they grew green again. The trees shook their leaves beneath the baptism, and in gratitude to heaven for a copious draught shot forth young buds which would yield to the inhabitants the largest fruit and bright est flowers in all the world. There was a small sail-boat careering about the bay; there were two men on board. The two sails were flung to the breeze and she was steering toward shore. As she neared, the sails were taken in and she was anchored in shallow water. "Will Tom fail us, think you?" said one man to the other. "Fail us! What are you talking about? Why, it is a dead open and shut. Fail us! I have been in the business well on to fifteen years, and I have never seen a better put- up job than this!" "Well, I hope so. I don t want to run my head into a noose for nothing." (448) PLACING HIS NAME TO THE NOTE. 449 t( T wouldn t be out of place if you should. You re a spoony anyhow, to get afraid of your own shadow/ " Hush! there is a man coming." Before this short sentence was finished, Tom Splinter stood at the water s edge. " Put out your plank," he said, in a hoarse whisper, mak ing a speaking-tube of his hands. The two men sprung to their feet and shoved the plank over the side of the boat. Tom Splinter seized the end and placed it 011 the sand. He then walked on board and sat clown beside one and opposite the other. All three remained silent for some moments, when one of the men, becoming impatient, said: " I guess, Tom, the news ain t very good, or you would blow it." * I have never seen a great blower that was a great doer. Do your work and then talk." " That is all very well; but when a man gets another to do a job of work he has got to tell him what to do." " Don t be in such a devil of a hurry about getting to work. You ll have as much as you ll want to do before morning." "Well, that sounds like it, Captain," said the man, reach ing over and giving his companion a nudge in the ribs. "What is the hour?" asked Tom Splinter. "It s near on to ten o clock," said the man, drawing a huge silver watch from his breast, and striking a match on a tinder box. He held it close down to the face of the watch and found it wanted ten minutes to ten exactly, as he expressed it. "You will get devilish tired of waiting, for it will be plum two in the morning before we set sail." " All right, my hearty ! We will snooze by turns in the bottom of the boat." " Well, that ll do, as long as you are not caught napping. Anyway, I don t suppose there is any danger such a night 29 45 O MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. as this." As Tom Splinter spoke, he arose, and would have walked off the plank to the shore had not one of the men caught him by the arm. " Look ahere, old chap, what security do you give us that you are not bilking us ?" " Gentlemen, I can give you nothing but my word." " Don t come your gentlemen on us. Your word maybe all right, but I d rather have your note." "Note, you fool! How can I give you a note a dark night like this, and no light, and nothing to write with." Ah yes ! I thought of all that before we started. Here is the note, and here is a bit of a candle. All you ve got to do is to stick your name at the bottom." " You infernal idiot! do you think I ll place my name to a document that I " "I don t know what you will do. I know what I ll do, and that very lively. I ll put up these ere sails, and put out of here, and leave you to suck your thumbs." " But, gentlemen, you must see the unreasonableness of your asking a man to affix his name to something he has not even read." " "Well, Mr. Splinter, if you are going to cry about a little thing of that kind, I will let you read it." He turned the light full upon the bit of paper, and held both before Mr. Splinter s face. As Tom read, he bit his under-lip until the blood almost started. His eyes seemed starting from their sockets; his face grew leaden color. He gasped for breath, and placed his right hand over his eyes; he turned his head aside. There was a choking sound in his throat. When his voice came, he yelled like a madman: * c Cowards ! cutthroats ! murderers ! I will not do it ! I will not do it!" "Ha! ha! ha! We thought so. You don t seem to re member the jobs you have put up for us, and you thought you had another to-night. Ha! ha! Look at him squirm! YES OR NO IS THE WORD. 451 He is a rum un, anyhow. No, Mr. Splinter, you have played us green uns smart long enough. We thought we d catch you after a bit; and here you are, one of the finest stool-pigeons a gentleman could wish to fire at. Yes or no is the word. The game is up if you say no." " And if I say yes, it is the same," replied Tom Splinter, in despair. Look here, gentlemen, I will tell you what we will do: let us give up the job." "No, you don t. It is too fat a thing to let it slip through our fingers in that way." "Do you want to see me hung?" said Tom Splinter, shaking, as if he already felt the rope about his neck. "You ll be hung, anyway; and you might as well be hung for an old sheep as a lamb." You hellons ! you monsters ! that will decoy a comrade into such a trap!" " You can talk very fine. Do you remember the poor old man I undertook to rob to keep you in the Ready, Joe Davis " (meaning money); " and how he resisted me? Then I murdered him. I see his eyes now! No, no, Tom Splin ter! When I think of the crimes you have made us commit, I would not let you off if you would give me a million! No, sir-ee, my hearty; there ain t any road for you to go but straight up to the gibbet; and there ain t salt enough in the world to save you." All this time Tom remained in a thoughtful mood. Whether he was thinking how he could elude the grasp of the villains, or whether he was resigned, at all events he said, in a clear, calm voice, " Hand me the paper. I will put my name to it." " There, that is business; I like that. When a man has a bad job to do, it is best to take right hold and do it." " Hold your tongue, you fool," said Tom Splinter, with so much of his old command, that the man gave a little start, and forgot for a moment that Tom was not still in power. 452 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. "Look here, Tom Splinter, none of your impudence to me. You can t bully any longer." " Hold the light, you fool." The light was turned upon Tom s face. His hand shook as he dipped the pen in the inkstand which one of the men held. His face, was all contortion. His intense agony "brought forth cold perspiration, which trickled down his cheeks like rain. In that moment of horror he felt as one signing his own death-warrant. " There, Mr. Splinter, you can go now. You will be here at two o clock ?" " If I am living," replied Tom Splinter. "Oh! if you are going to commit susancide, this is the best place you will find. Just hitch this piece of iron to your neck and jump right in," said the man, with a jeer. "We shall be here to attend the funeral. We will put up the sails and cruise around and make a respectable funeral procession." These were the last words spoken as Tom Splinter walked the plank to the shore. Inasmuch as Madame Junk had been instrumental in breaking up a thieves den that had long eluded the grasp of the law, insomuch would these men break up her den. They used to do a good business; they grew in strength and numbers and became a terror to the community. Mad ame Junk s inordinate love of buying old clothes and doing for the poor was a heavy stroke on this house. The whole thing was broken up, and not a few of them %Vas compelled to serve a term, in the State prison. The two men whom Tom Splinter has just left are two of them; Two-fifty is another; and the three are anxious to pay off^old scores. To be thrown out of active employment and incarcerated for crime was not to be forgotten. Had the same ingenuity and patience been put to some useful work, these people would have immortalized themselves. In A. Goliah Smith s residence all was silent, as a respect- A NEW HOME ON THE TAPIS. 453 able habitation is supposed to be in the wee small hours. The Senator, being somewhat in the afternoon of life, and wishing to prolong that afternoon to the utmost limit, re tired early. Mrs. Smith did so from necessity, being an invalid, and the most proper place for an invalid after nine o clock at night is in bed. The Senator never could be prevailed upon to say that he was willing that Joel and Carrie should set up a separate household. Whenever Joel broached the subject, which he did every now and then, the Senator would burst out with: "God bless you, Joe! I haven t a chick or child in the world but you. What do you want to be in such a hurry to leave me for?" " I don t think we have been in much of a hurry. When a man takes the responsibility of a family he should main tain it." " If it is responsibility you. want, I will give you enough of it. I am going to throw up the sponge pretty soon, and you can cart my load. If that is not enough for you to pull, I have friends who would club together and give you fair show of responsibility." " Father, as far as you are concerned, you. cannot bur den me with responsibility that I will not use my best en deavor to meet, and feel honored by your confidence." "Joe, casting all joking aside, we really cannot spare you. What do you think mother and I would do ? If there is not room enough we will build an addition. I don t want any one pinched for room." "I thought we were to stop joking," said Joel, with a smile. That will be when you stop talking about setting up an establishment of your own, when there ain t half enough to run this one. If you have anything over, give it to Mother Junk to build another Keformatory Home." " By the way, she has another Home on the tapis." "No! What new crotchet now?" 454 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " Oil! she thinks the vagabond boys of this city should be attended to. She says they are going to destruction as fast as they can travel." The Senator was silent for a moment or so, as if in deep reflection. During this silence Joel ventured further in formation. She has got Carrie very much interested in this move ment, so much so that she studies night and day the best plan to adopt." " Joe, you speak as if you had some regrets about it." "No; not any further than that I should not like to see my wife a leader in any movement that savored of strong- minded, masculine, woman s rights women of the day." The Senator gave a dry ahem, and was silent again. This time Joel waited for him to open the conversation. "Well, Joe, you are sensitive; I cannot blame you; I was the same at your age. But did you ever stop to think that the things which the world deem unwomanly in women would be a very great credit to us men? D you know, Joe, that what you have told me to-night really makes me feel ashamed of myself ? When I look back on my past life and count up all the good actions, I fiud I have been guilty of a surprisingly small number. Why, Joe, look at your Mother Junk. She gave all of her little fortune, all her time, her life, I may say, to a good work, a benevolent work, a work to benefit mankind. Now, then, if your wife and my daughter takes pleasure in doing a similar work we should feel proud, and not sensitive. To be sure, I should regret as much as you can to have Carrie go about making- stump-speeches or anything of that sort; but it seems to me that this is a most praiseworthy project, and if I were you I should encourage it. It is a noticeable fact that the boys of the period are likely to be a disgrace to the nation as men. There should be some decided steps taken in the way of reform. For my part, I do not care a cent whether it is hatched by women or men. This much I will say : I will A WELL- SELECTED TITLE. 455 give it my hearty support, and I feel ashamed of myself in the bargain that I was such a laggard as not to have thought of it before." " Carrie is very ambitious/ said Joel, with a smile. "I know she is, I know she is," said the Senator, with not a little pride in his tone; " always was, from a little girl up bright and active." " She is engaged in writing another book." " Indeed! I was not aware of it. "What is the subject? " " This time, I should have said, she is revising one." "When did she write it? " "Oh, it is an old manuscript of Mother Junk s, written some twenty- two years since." " Has she become so poor in thought that she must take some one s old manuscript, written twenty-two years ago ? "What is the theme ? " " The Proper Propagation of the American Eace," said Joel, this time laughing outright. "The Proper Propagation of the American Bace!" said the Senator, drawing out his words, and with a look of astonishment that showed he was far from being pleased. "What a strange theme for a young woman! What is she supposed to know about such a theme ? How does she man age it ? Certainly, she will not give such a title to a book that is known to come from her pen." "Well, father, there is not so much in the book that is out of the way. The manuscript has been looked over by some of our best literary men, and pronounced an able work of the kind, and one worthy of being discussed by the best minds in the country." Ah ! " This time the Senator s expression changed into a more satisfied one. " But the devil, Joe, have her change the title." " On this point there will be disagreement. Her pub lishers tell her, for a good run it is the best-selected title over which a book was ever written or published/ 456 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. "Is it possible? Joe, look into it carefully. Don t let her run rampant. The thought of my daughter making herself ridiculous before the world would grieve me very much. I understand how easy it is for a brave soul to dare ridicule for the right." " Well, father, don t give yourself any trouble over it. I really do not think Carrie will run counter to our wishes, or appear in what she thought undignified or unwomanly. She has talked freely with me about it, and wished me to broach the subject to you. She even went so far as to say: I will not do that which will displease papa, even if I knew it was right/" The Senator had use for his pocket handkerchief, which he flourished before his eyes and wiped his nose. " God bless her! She always was that way. Whatever she does will come out all right, I know/ Again his handkerchief was used to brush off a fly that seemed to be sitting on the bridge of his nose, although it was half -past nine o clock p. M., and time all honest flies had gone to roost. The Senator arose from his easy-chair and took a step or two toward the door, as if he were about to retire for the night. Turning abruptly about, he walked toward Joel and slapped him on the shoulder. " Joel, my boy! tell your wife to come to her father, just as she used to when she was ten years old. There is no reason why she should send you to feel around to find out what I think. She is my child, and I love her just as much as ever. (There is that plaguy fly again.) Good night, Joe! good night! Look about the house and see if every thing is securely fastened up. The city is full of thieves and cutthroats; one cannot be too careful." CHAPTER LIIL A GOOD MAN THAT HONORED GOOD WOMEN A WHOLE FLOCK OF PIGEONS IN ONE MAN S FACE. r I ^HE new residence of the Stanlys was situated only JL three blocks from the ex-Senator s. It was a hand some edifice; sufficiently magnificent in its appointments to attract the attention of professional observers, or, in other words, thieves. No matter about the residence; the inmates were as happy as two turtle-doves mated in the prime of life, and with that experience in life which files off the sharp corners and rounds out the character of every man and woman. Kate s beauty seemed to advance with age. The very poise of her head grew classic, and her carriage would have graced a queen. George Gregory Glewer found his home with the Stanlys, and a very good home it was. Mr. Stanly never expressed his views to Kate about the boy; he might have had a sensitive feeling in regard to this young man calling his beautiful wife mother. Mr. Stanly was too thoroughly a gentleman to come down to such petty objections as the one above named. George had become so well versed in the business that he was able to carry it on with only now and then a suggestion from his mother. Day by day the affec tion between Kate and her husband deepened; and although they were at that age when romantic sentiment is supposed to be on the wane, yet with them they were more and more lovers. "With Mr. Stanly the feeling was that he had always known Kate. There was nothing to remind him that she ever belonged to another, except when George called her (457) 45 8 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. mother, and he took care as much as possible not to hear it. As for Kate, her life was complete; her cup of happi ness was full to the brim. It was no school-girl love. It was love heightened by comparison. She had learned that men did live who respected good women; even honored them and looked upon them as equals and companions; who gave them a respectful individual right at their fire sides; who at all times treated a wife with that courtesy with which a true gentleman must be treated in turn. That Kate must pass her youthful days of maidenhood up into wifehood, then widowhood, without realizing that such men exist, was an ungenerous fate. No wonder she did worship her idol. She had traveled a weary stretch of barren waste to find him. Sternna was right in her conjectures regarding Albert Mayo s finding another. If Albert did not find in Miss Spludge "metal more attractive," he found something to fill the vacuum in his heart which Sternna s absence had made. And as for David Delight, our puckered-up plum of a lawyer, if ho could have had his own pick from the whole city, there was not one who would have pleased him more as a husband for his daughter than did Albert. When he met Albert, and attempted to do the handsome, his face as sumed the appearance of a small piece of wet clay that had been traveled over by a whole flock of pigeons. For Albert there was no limit to his urbanity. " My regards to your father and mother. Hope I shall see you at our house before long," etc. , were the usual greetings. If the young Hercules gave the old gent any thought, it was to wonder if D. D. Spludge, Esq., had told as many lies as there were wrinkles in his face. CHAPTER LIV. THIEVES BREAK IN AND STEAL A WINDFALL FOR THE PRESS PLOTTING LARRY DOODLE COMES TO THE RESCUE. IN Senator A. Goliah Smith s rear yard is a tall elm tree, in which a man sat perched. The hour was one o clock at night. He held a long slim rod in his hand, that looked like a fishing-pole. Surely he cannot be going to fish in the Senator s aquarium. If so, he has a strange bait; for there was a little sponge fastened to the end of a cord at tached to the pole, well saturated with chloroform. For the last few moments he had been vigorously swabbing the dog s nose, a huge mastiff which the Senator had recently pur chased at a liberal figure, because of the late raids by bur glars in private residences. It is not above half an hour since the Senator appeared at the door, looking very ghost like. He spoke to the dog, and asked him what he was growling at, and was answered by (< Bow, wow." The dog was told to keep quiet; but he would not have obeyed if Tom Splinter had not just administered smelling-salts. At all events the Senator had no more than got tucked into bed when that long pole slid out of the tree, and the sponge was applied to the dog s nose again, who gave a terrific howl, and the rod was drawn back into the tree. The Senator ap peared again; but this time in a darker suit, with a revolver in his hand. He looked about, and walked under the very tree where Tom was perched. He spoke to the dog in no gentle way: " Why, you fool, what is the matter? There is no one here." The dog was quiet now. The Senator (459) 460 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. patted him on the head. " That is right; keep still. It is time enough to bark when there is something to hark at." Again he retired. " The dog knows more than you," muttered Tom Splinter to himself; and again the rod slid out of the tree, and the sponge was applied to the dog s nose, this time with no re sistance from the dog. He held it there several moments. When he withdrew it, he said to himself, " AVell, old fellow, you can take a comfortable snooze, while I give your master a little sniff/ Tom waited some half an hour, until he thought the much- disturbed master must be sleeping soundly. In the mean time he saturated the sponge again, and applied it to the dog s nose. He slid down from the tree, took a stroll through the grounds, looked at the doors and windows of the house, and went to a side gate that opened out upon a common adjacent to the Senator s garden. He took from his pocket what looked to be a roll of cotton. He began picking it apart, and brought out a queer-looking key, with which he unlocked the gate, passed out, and locked it again. He walked a few rods to the other side of the common, where there was a clump of trees standing so close together that the foliage intertwined, and, although it was bright starlight, you could not see an object under them. Seated between the trees were two men, who, on Tom s approach, drew a long breath. Tom came quite close, and whispered, " I havo given the dog his quietus; you will hear no more from him to-night, if you ever do." Both men whispered, " Good, good/ Now, then," said Tom, we must look after the dogs that will not be quite so easily disposed of." "What," said both men in a breath; "will you give J em some, too?" "Won t I? If I don t give them a dose that will make them sleep for a week! Come, boys, we ve no time to dilly dally; there is work to be done, and little time to do it in." BEFORE THE DOOR. 461 " Give the order, Captain, and I am your man/ whispered one of the men. " Which room is the old un in ? " "The first flight; there are two windows that look this way, and two more that look to the rear." "Where does the young* chap and his wife snooze?" "The second flight, on the right-hand side of the hall as you pass up the back stairs. Three windows look out upon the main street, and two more look from the side of the house. There is a gate leading into the garden on that side." "But the servants?" "Oh, they sleep as sound as the devil; nothing but a cannon would wake them up. If they should wake, you know how to silence them." Tom and the two men crept softly along to the opposite side of the house, unlocked the side gate and passed in. They took their way through the intricate paths until they came to the rear. Softly they crept up the steps and picked the lock. They must pass two doors before they enter the main hall running through the house; this they did after a brief interval. The great solid staircase did not creak be neath their weight. Their feet were done up in abundance of cotton, and looked like six white geese waddling up stairs. The three cats passed up as quietly as any three cats ever went anywhere. All three paused before the Senator s door. No sound disturbed the stillness of the night. Tom placed his ear to the keyhole; he took from his pocket an instrument that looked very much like a very small pair of pincers, in serted it in the hole and turned the key on the inside. It was done so noiselessly that had the inmates of this room been awake they would not have heard it. This done, he produced a leather case, eighteen inches long, one end clos ing with a spring. This contained what looked to be half a dozen straight sticks, which he laid together by a curious design, making what might pass for an immense whipstock. By moving it up and down, you would discover that it was 4-62 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. very supple. To the end of this he fastened a cord two or three feet in length, and to the cord he fastened a sponge much larger than the one he applied to the dog s nose. He took from his pocket a bottle of clear-looking liquid, turned a liberal portion over the sponge, opened the door softly, looked in until he espied something white very near the centre of the room. He took good aim with the long stick, held it over the bed, and dangled it up and down for nearly five minutes. Thinking by this time it had effected a quiet ing influence, he lowered it until by degrees it touched the pillow. There he let it rest another five minutes. The two men were holding their breath. Then he whispered: "It will do to go in now." He then took the sponge from the end of the cord, inarched straight up to the bed and quietly held it under the nose of the sleeping Senator, then under the nose of the wife, until he was confident he could have burnt them alive without their waking. He then took out a match and quietly lit the gas, with the nonchalance of a man who was in his own apartments, and had just come in for the night. The first thing he did was to remove the Senator s revolver which was near his bed. He then pro ceeded to open drawers and pick locks, taking the lady s jewel-case, watches, and everything he could lay his hands on, and among the rest a buckskin bag filled with gold coin. He turned down the gas and locked the door from the out side. All this was done in less time than it takes us to write it. The trio, with stealthy tread, mounted the next flight and effected an entrance in the same way. This time it was to the sleeping apartments of Joel and his wife. When the gas was lit, these villains paused for a moment to look at the sleepers in their death-like torpor. We will not say that a pang of remorse touched Tom Splinter s heart as he looked at them. Carrie slept with her cheek resting in the palm of her hand, looking divinely innocent, while Joel s dark hair made his high white brow look like marble. There LOOK AT HIM NOW, WITH A MILLION. 463 was something in this picture that would make men even more hardened than these stop and ask themselves: " How have these people harmed us? Why should we take advan tage of their helpless condition?" If some such thought did flit through the minds of these men, it was then too late to harbor it. So they proceeded to go through every closet and drawer in the room, taking with them jewels and money. One of the men had his arm loaded with clothing, when he was ordered by Tom Splinter, in a hoarse whisper, to drop it. "You may take everything else; but 111 be hanged if you shall steal a man s shirt/ The two men passed out the door and left Tom Splinter alone. He walked to the bedside. The sleepers were breathing hard, and the perspiration stood out in great beads on Joel s forehead. Tom felt his pulse. Folding his arms, he stood calmly for a moment looking at the uncon scious pair. They would be happy, and ho might have been. " Here was a poor boy who started in life without half the wit to recommend him I had. Look at him now, with a million of dollars and one of the fairest brides in all the country; and all this is woman s work. Had I had the same motherly love guiding my young steps, I might have been as good as he is, and it would have been much easier for me than to do as I have done. But here I am. I can t turn back." He stepped to the gas, gave one more look over his shoulder at the sleeping occupants of the bed, closed the door, locked it from without, and carried the key away with him. These thieves took out an immense quantity of silver- plate, which was placed in canvas bags and conveyed a short distance to a man holding two fleet horses, attached to a light wagon. The heavy spoil was placed in the wagon; the driver mounted the seat and drove hastily away, being ordered to make quick time, and to be on the ground at a given point within half an hour. 464 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. The trio next proceeded to the residence of Mr. Stanly, and went through, the same successful manoeuvres. Here they gathered money and jewels to the amount of several thousand dollars. Tom was an expert. He had acted far more boldly to-night than he had ever done before in all his life. There was an abandon about him this night which was born of total disregard of his own safety. Every step he took he knew ifc was bringing him so much nearer the end. He knew it must come. Again the spoil was loaded into the wagon hard by. " Good night, gentlemen; good night. I am off for the Reformatory Home. Tell the men that to-morrow night, at one o clock, I will be with them, if I am alive; and if not why, if not, I shall be in the company of no greater devils than they are." "Not go with us?" whispered the three men, in one breath. "No! no! not now. My work is not done. I have not filled the contract. Take care of what you have. You may not always have Tom Splinter to do your dirty work. Up with your sails and put out. You know where to hide, and I know where to find. Keep out of sight; keep out of town if you will have whole skins. Let one man come back for me if the wind is fair." " And if not?" said one of the men. " And if not, you fool, come with a row-boat." It was near daylight when Tom Splinter reached the Home for Reforming Depraved Humanity. None of the inmates were up. He sat down on a rock near the great gate and waited patiently for Larry O Doodle to come out and give the American Girl her breakfast. Larry O Doodle was usually up early. Larry was not long in making his appearance. When he did, Tom Splinter hallooed for him to come and unlock the great gate. Larry stepped briskly toward it, wondering who could have come to be born again so early in the morning. He was a little A REAL SICKLY SMILE. 465 surprised to find Tom Splinter, looking pale and worn, and at least fifteen years older. Larry eyed him with suspicion. " I am devilish sick, Larry." " Its hoping you ll not ba any sicker." "If I am, I must go the way of all the earth," said Splinter. " Hum!" was the only reply Larry deigned to give. Tom sat himself down upon the door-sill, and waited until Madame Junk should arise. He knew it would be sufficient to say he did not feel well to arouse that lady s deepest sympathy. True, she might think it a little strange that he should be there so early in the morning. In a few moments Madame Junk opened the door to take a sniff of fresh morning air, and who should she behold sit ting there but Tom Splinter. "Mister Splinter! Why, you are ill! Come in this moment." Tom placed his hands on his stomach, and doubled up in quite a knot. " Yes, Madame, I am sorry to say I am far from being well; and the thought of having a prolonged fit of illness away from this place is quite insupportable." "Mr. Splinter/ said Madame Junk, placing her hand under his arm, as if she would lift him by main strength; " Mister Splinter, you must have medical attendance at once." " Oh, I trust it is not quite so alarming as that," said Tom Splinter, with a real sickly smile. Madame Junk took him to the drawing-room, where there was a divan, flew to the sleeping-room, and brought pillows and blankets. The pillows she cuffed and boxed and bounced about until every feather was alive; then, taking the end of the case, she danced it up and down until it was smooth; then, placing it at the head of the divan, she bade Mr. Splinter lie down, while she covered him with blankets, and then she would see what more was required. 30 466 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " Man s inhumanity to man Makes countless millions mourn!" We don t know as any one has ever written one word about man s inhumanity to woman; but it strikes us just here that a few lines of poetry on that subject might not be out of place, and we regret our inability to give the world some soul-stirring words on this theme. There could never be a more opportune time than while Madame Junk is bustling hither and yonder preparing tea and toast, and other remedies. While she was scraping a small burnt place on a large piece of toast, Larry O Doodle came in and surprised her by asking what she thought of Mr. Splinter. " What do I think? Why, I think he is very ill, Larry." " Misthress Junks, I hope you will not ba after decaiving yourself; somehow it seems quare to me." " Queer, Larry, that a man should be ill?" No, not that so much; but, Misthress Junks, I am. not after baing as good as yeze. Tis rneself that has seen min play before to-day." " Judge not, lest ye be judged," were the words Madame Junk used, as she flew from the room with a great plate of toast and a steaming cup of tea. She pressed Mr. Splinter to eat, and he would feel refreshed. He was not feigning when he said he had no appetite, for he really had none; but to please the good lady, he forced himself to eat a little and swallow a few mouthfuls of tea; but when it came to the pills, he decidedly refused to take one said he should feel better shortly. Long before twelve o clock every newspaper office had issued extras, and the newsboys on the streets were shout ing, "Here s your extras! All about the daring robbery of Senator A. Goliah Smith s place! The dog dead! The Senator and his wife chloroformed, and all the rest of the family! Here s your extras! The most daring robbery on READING THE NEWS. 467 record! Here s your extras! All about the robbery of Mr. Stanly s residence! The inmates given a sleeping potion ! Here s your extras! All about how they got in and how they got out agin! Here s your extras! The Senator and his folks all very ill, because the robber gave them so much stuff! Here s your extras! Senator and family not ex pected to live the day out! Here s your extras! All about how the perleece are 011 their track! Here s your extras! The Senator s dog is dead! Buy a paper, Sir?" Although the Senator s loss was actually great, it was a great windfall to the city press. Now, the Senator had not lost a hundred thousand dollars, but it was enough, in all conscience; neither was he nor any of his family likely to die; they had only lost their appetites for a day or so. Tbo Senator was almost willing to say that thieves who could effect an entrance and transact such an amount of business were entitled to the spoils; however, he did not say it, for that would be a bad precedent for less successful explorers. Ere night, the much -exaggerated account reached the Home, and Larry O Doodle eyed Splinter with fresh suspi cion. Madame Junk settled her spectacles over the bridge of her nose, and proceeded to read the full account to Mr. Splinter as he lay on the lounge, looking quite worn and pale. One by one the inmates gathered around her to hear the horrible (this was one of the words of the heading) account of the robbery. In the midst of the group was Two-hundrecl-and-fifty, listening to the description of a piece of crash that she went to the city for some months since. Her small black eyes wandered over the group and finally settled on Tom Splinter. His face was bleached very white for a short illness. She looked until he turned his head and their eyes met; hers said, as plain as eyes could say: " Turn back, if you dare." Larry O Doodle watched the two, but had learned to keep his own counsel. It was three o clock in the afternoon, and Madame Junk resolved to post Larry O Doodle off to town to learn the 468 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. exact truth, when who should conie dashing in but Mrs. Catharine Stanly, looking more disturbed than was in harmony with her fine face. Mrs. Stanly and Madame Junk retired to the little chapel, where they held a long consultation. "With the most patient listening at the keyhole we can only gather here and there a word, which we will give to the reader. " I only hope/ said Mrs. Stanly, " it maybe a surmise." "Why, she has not been to the city since she purchased that crash, and that is three months ago." "Well, it might take three months to lay a plan and carry it through as well as this." " My clear friend, I think you are mistaken/ "What does Larry think?" asked Mrs. Stanly. " Larry is a good man, but I should not feel willing to accept his judgment in the matter," said Madame Junk, evading the question; "you know," she went on, "that suspicion is a characteristic of his nation." " Then he has spoken no word of warning to you ? " "Yes, he has," replied Madame Junk, when directly appealed to; " however, the most he has said was, that I had better keep my eyes open." "A very sensible piece of advice," said Kate, with a little bitterness in her voice; if anything wrong should be proven to have originated here, it would be a great blow to this reform question. " " It would only substantiate what I have always affirmed: that these people were not born right." "Well, admitting that, the world will not go back to their fathers and mothers, and punish them by imprisonment for the crimes of their children." Madame Junk scarce had time to ask Mrs. Stanly what her loss was, before that lady announced her intention of returning. Madame Junk caught her by the sleeve. " You will not speak out your suspicions to any one else ? " No; she did not think she would, at present. HAND IN GLOVE WITH ALL THE CHURCHES. 469 All creation could not make her believe that Two-hundred- and-fifty had reformed. Indeed, so far was her prejudice aroused, that she began to lose all faith in all kinds of re forms. Then she thought of Larry O Doodle, and acknowl- eged to herself that this was an isolated instance. Then, again, she argued with herself, this man must have had more good than bad in his nature to begin with. Then she thought of Mary and Mary s boy. Mrs. Stanly breathed no word of her suspicions to her husband, and he did not dream that she had any. He thought that she merely rode out to the Home to tell Madame Junk the news. Some women are singularly sensitive over failures, and some men are singularly inclined to laugh, and say, " Yes, yes; these women rush headlong with their crotchets and do more harm than good. My dear gentlemen, never laugh at a woman for her mistakes; only look at the motives. Do not play any old woman game on your wife by telling her, " There, I told you so. It has turned out just as I said it would. I knew the cow would eat up the grindstone." Do not do that if you would invite her confidence. There was nothing of this in Mr. Stanly s make-up. A large pat tern of a man never does that. But this was a trick Mrs. Glewer had acquired, and it was difficult for Mrs. Stanly to drop it. She had been one of the movers in this cause, and the thought of a failure distressed her not a little. Not one in the Senator s family had the least suspicion that their misfortune could be traced to the Home for He- forming Depraved Humanity. Hitherto, things had run so smoothly, and so many souls had been ground in this mill and came out seemingly double refined, that to suspect any thing wrong would be sacrilegious in the extreme; and as for the police, they would as soon thought of entering good Dr. S s church and hauled him out of the pulpit, to gether with all the pillars of the church, as entering the Eeformatory Home to catch thieves. The Home was "hand in glove" with all the churches far and near, and looked up 47O MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. to by the cream. This was enough to appall any amount of skim-milk. The professed followers of Christ were not likely to fall into error not with a captain like Madame Junk. So thought the outsiders. So all unconsciously this Home for preparing souls for a home beyond, was resolved into a relief and protection society to prevent cruelty to thieves. To speak after the manner of men, the Senator s family were stiil a little under the weather. The Senator did not mourn his loss so much, but he hated to be outdone by a set of scamps in that way. Joel stood the jokes of his col leagues with good grace. This robbery was as much dis cussed as if it had been some scientific theory that if once solved would be a great benefit to the world. Madame Junk s head had been in a whirl all day. She needed rest and would retire early. Tom Splinter was better so much so that he was taking a turn in the garden with his hands folded behind him. Two-fifty was scrubbing down the back stairs; she was working with renewed energy to-day. There seemed to be a hushed silence among the inmates. Although the day had been bright and sunny, the atmosphere at the Reformatory Home seemed oppres sive. If coming events do cast their shadows before, there were shadows in the Home spectral evil shadows that were felt by just such natures as Larry O Doodle s. He could not shake off this presentiment, nor could he prove the cause. Even the American Girl looked mournfully out oi her eyes as she nibbled the grass that came within the length of her tether. There seemed to be a gloom that for the first time settled down upon the Reformatory Home a certain something that no one could define. It gave one the feeling that evil was abroad . Madame Junk seemed to feel an unusual responsibility resting upon her. Just before retiring, she called Larry O Doodle to her. She gave him orders to fasten up every door and window with extra fastenings to-night. THIS LIFE IS A DREAM. 471 "And slmre, tis meself that will ba doing that same. But 111 not ba fastening both eyes wid a lock and key. A man must have one eye open not that I want any of these knaves to be walking into me eye." Tom Splinter had retired to his couch that night. Truly the good angel was wrestling with him, like Jacob of old; but too late to conquer. The poor wretch s hands trembled, and his eyes were as glassy as a madman s. He turned the ke} r in the lock of the door, and stretched himself upon the outside of the bed. Of course he would do it; he had promised; and if he did not keep his word, it would be all day with him. As he lay on the bed, looking up to the white ceiling overhead, he saw horrible shapes. They made faces at him; they danced round and round, and shook their spectre hands at him. Devils of all sizes grinned at him, and defied him to turn back. They screeched from smoke and flame. Fiery serpents darted out their long forked tongues and licked his face. A yawning abyss opened, and he was led to look in. "Dark, impenetrable darkness, forever and for evermore!" He rubbed his eyes, and found that he had been dozing. " Oh yes, a dream! Everything is a dream. This life is a dream. I shan t wake up until I get where it is somewhat warmer than this." He rose to a sitting pos ture, shaking as if he had an ague fit. He listened for the striking of the clock, which told the hour of one. He stepped to his door, turned the key softly, opened the door, listened again, stepped back to his bedside, knelt on his knees, crawled under the bed, and brought out a tin can, containing two gallons of some sort of liquid. Het set it down just inside his door, listened again, but heard no sound. Creeping back to his window, he prepared the cur tain and the spring that held the window up. Tom Splinter was not the only inmate in the Home that was up at that time of night. There were two others. Two- fifty was one and Larry O Doodle was the other. Two-fifty s room was so situated that there would be no necessity for 47 2 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. her being in haste. Madame Junk was the only one Two- fifty cared to corner. There would be no egress for her from any side. Larry O Doodle was listening, too. He had no can con taining fluid; but he had a shillalah, which contained ven geance; and, by the way, it was the very same one he swung over his head the very first day he visited the Home, and hurrahed for " Misthress Tunks." You could almost have seen his face in the dark by the light of his eyes. His teeth were firmly set, and his breathing was irregular. A man who moves in the dark must be cautious. He steps forth into the dark hall, and encounters a huge form. The great shillalah flew back and came forward with a blow such as Larry O Doodle s arm could give. There was a fall, that made the very roof tremble. As quick as a panther, Larry O Doodle leaped over the object, and ran down the hall a few steps, and grappled with a man in the dark. " Arrah! Larry O Doodle is one too many for yez!" He had no sooner spoken these words than he felt a knife enter the fleshy part of his arm. In an instant he held the man s throat in his grasp. It was not tightened by degrees, but all at once. Running his left hand from the man s shoulder to his hand, he grasped the knife, and threw it to the other end of the hall. He seized the man about the waist, held him above his own head, and threw him not lightly upon the ground. "There, that ll do you for a minute." He then ran to Madame Junk s door. "Misthress Junks! Misthress Junks! come out! Don t light! Come out, and ba steady. Don t light a light for your life, or we shall all ba burnt out entirely! Come into the hall, and bring me the sheets from your bed!" Larry O Doodle ran back, and rolled the huge object over and over with his foot until he reached the place where he had the encounter with the man. He threw them up together, as he would any inanimate things, and stood watch over them with his shillalah. Madame Junk came out with the sheets. OBEY LARRY, EVERY ONE OF YOU. 473 " Kun, Mistliress Junks ! run for God s sake! run and tell every one in the house to make no light, but come quick, and help me pen the wild animals I" Madame Junk shook in every limb. She was contented to be guided by Larry O Doodle. - She thought the same gang of thieves were in the house that had marauded in the city the night previous. She little dreamt who they were, or why Larry did not wish a light. She was not long in bringing every inmate to the battle-field. They were all charged over and over not to strike a match if they did not want the house burnt down. Madame Junk called lustily at Mr. Splinter s door to warn him of the danger. " You need not ba after fretting about Misther Splinter s health; he is here safe enough." " Oh! I am so glad; he is so brave. I don t know what we should do without him." "Humph! begorra!" said Larry. "Now thin, if you will ba kind enough to bring me the clothes-line; we won t just hang the gentlemen, but we will fix thim safe till morning." "Why can t we have a light?" said Madame Junk, dis patching the cook to bring the clothes-line, who replied there might be more out there. " Don t feel afraid, dear," said Larry; "they are all in this lump," poking them with his shillalah. " But I want a light," whimpered the cook. "But you can t ba after having a light," spoke Larry, quite out of temper with her delay and the pain in his arm. " The house is all covered over with the divil s own sthuff, that will go off the very minute you sthrike a light." A small company of great groans ascended on high at this announcement. " Obey Larry, every one of you!" said Madame Junk, now fully realizing the situation. "I will go for the lines myself." She made her way through the dark rooms to the rear of 474 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. the house, muttering on her way: " O Lord, forgive them, for they know not what they do." She made good time, and was back soon. The two inanimate things began to move and show signs of life, and what was Madame Junk s great surprise when she heard the voice of Tom Splinter say: " You are a coward, Larry O Doodle, if you don t kill me now/ " Because I m not a coward is the rason I ll not ba kill ing yez." "Why, Mr. Splinter! have the thieves wounded you?" " Tis himself that is the thief; so ba easy, Misthress Junks, and pass the twine." Larry tied Tom s two feet together, and then his hands behind him. All this time Madame Junk stood as one stupefied. "When she recovered her senses enough to speak, she said: " Larry, who are the others?" " Indade, who should it ba but Two-fifty herself?" " Mrs. Pictpink! Larry, it is impossible!" "No," said Tom Splinter, " it is not impossible. This old witch has waited long to pay you back for breaking in upon her the way you did, several years ago." All this time Larry was securing her by several extra knots. There was a silence, and nothing could be heard but the rattling of the rope on the floor as Larry hauled it over and wound it round and round, letting the slack end drop with a thump at each turn. " Madame," broke out the voice of Tom Splinter, " make no lights to-night, if you would have the house stand over your heads until morning." " O Lord, forgive them, for they know not what they do," was the only reply Madame Junk made to this bit of infor mation. " Larry, did I hit you with my knife?" "You pricked me; but tis not Larry O Doodle that is kilt." NO ORDERS FOR FRIED SOULS. 475 " You wounded, Larry?" asked Madame Junk, in tones of alarm. " Tis not Larry O Doodle that will ba thinking of a lit tle scratch now, save in your presence. Wid your lave, Misther Sphlinter," taking hold of his collar and dragging him along the hall, which produced a sound resembling an old-fashioned mud sledge. He hauled him along the floor to his own room and fastened him to the bed-post, and then returned, for another and a larger load, that made audible signs of life by groaning. All Madame Junk s questions were answered by groans. Mrs. Pictpink was conscious, and had been listening attentively to the conversation. She was shaping her course to suit the times. " Larry, I think we had better help Mrs. Pictpink to my room/ " You can have her helped where you plase; but she will not be after getting loose ferninst morning, Misthress Junks. Tis not Larry O Doodle that will allow you to ba deceaved eny more. Is it not enough that she would have burnt every hap of us up the house, the barn, the American Girl, and every living creature widin the gates? No, Misthress Junks! tis not Larry O Doodle that will ba allow ing this woman to murther yez." " She would not have done that, Larry." " She would not have done that same," re-echoed Larry. Wait until the first dawn of the day, and you will ba saying that she would have done that same. She wanted to kill yez from the first step inside this good Home. She will get a home that will ba after reborning her better than this one." " O Lord, forgive them, for they know not what they do." " They are after knowing what they do, well enough; and the Lord will not ba forgiving them, as you do. He knows better what they are. He knows they would ba burning us all to a crisp. The Lord was not giving any orders for fried souls for breakfast." 476 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. "Larry, the soul cannot be burned/ said Madame Junk, reprovingly. ""Well, tis not Larry O Doodle that would ba making the experiment. Tis meself that thanks the Lord for not hav ing us all cooked at one male. Where does she go? Some one must kape their two eyes on her. " " Take her to my room, Larry." ""Well, if Miss Blessing and the cook will stay and see that the creature is quiet, I will ba sitting up wid the other foine bird." " But, Larry, you are wounded." "Wid a bit of a rag I will ba doing until morning." Again the sound of a mud sledge was heard, as Larry drew the pondrous weight down the hall to Madame Junk s room. The light and wisdom that had shone as a beacon-star in a depraved community sat in darkness. Well, "the rain falleth on the just and the unjust." Ever and anon Mad ame Junk was heard to mutter something that sounded like " Not born right not born right," interspersed by snatches of prayer: "O Lord, help the coming generations to be better. Oh ! may they wake up to the beauties of a higher life." These beseechings were answered by groans from Two-fifty. After an hour or so had passed, Two-fifty called Madame Junk to her side, and, in a whisper scarce above a breath, asked that good lady what the matter was. "I fear, Mrs. Pictpink, you can tell me more about it than I can you." Thereupon, in another faint whisper, she vowed that she could not. Then, by catching her breath and getting out one word at a time, she told Madame Junk how it was. She heard a noise and aroused from her couch to learn the cause; she stepped into the hall, and was knocked down by some one. Then after a little silence she informed Madame Junk, in a more faint whisper, that she believed that Larry O Doodle was a very bad man, and had READING THE NEWS. 477 done this all himself ; that she knew him when he was a thief and used to coine to her place of business; that she always felt afraid he would turn out bad, and this and that, until Madame Junk was quite confused, and told Two-fifty it would all be found out very soon. To pacify Mrs. Pict- pink, she made an appropriate quotation from the Bible: "Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord, and I will repay." This was all Latin to Mrs. Pictpink. Senator A. Goliah Smith and family were gathered to gether in the drawing-room, where they usually spent a few hours after breakfast. What is that, Joe ?" said the Senator, pricking up his ears. "What is what?" I am sure I heard a newsboy with an extra, crying that the ringleaders of the band of thieves had been caught. Hun, Joe, down the walk, and hail one." There was no necessity of being in haste, for newsboys were as thick as hops that morning. Joel was not long in hailing one who had his mouth stretched to its utmost ca pacity, thinking, no doubt, that such a big piece of news could not be got through a small hole. Joel took the paper and paid the boy in proportion to the news. (Another windfall for the press of late they had been raking in the money.) On returning, he read to the family the news, which produced a succession of little screams from Mrs. Smith, interspersed with several " oh my s!" which seemed likely to end in fainting quite away. Carrie bit her under-lip, and the Senator looked stern. "Well, well; so that has been the seat of the disease? I have feared something of the kind." "Yes," chimed in Mrs. Smith; "that is what one gets for mingling with the riffraff." "Mrs. Smith, who mingles with the riffraff?" said the Sen ator. Do you call supporting a charitable institution ming- 47$ MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. ling with the riffraff? Because there are ohe or two black sheep in the flock, do you think it is well to condemn the whole? If we go upon that principle, there would be no one to support the churches. Joe, be kind enough to read the full account." Which he did, and at every other sentence Mrs. Smith said " Oh my!" and the Senator muttered some thing that sounded like c Thunder and lightning ! The old scratch ! Whew !" When Joe got to where they were fixing to burn the building, they all held their breath. When Joel had finished reading, the Senator arose from his chair. He had not left the house since he took such a large dose of chloroform. " Amos, where are you going," inquired Mrs. Smith. " Where am I going ? Where should I be going, but to Madame Junk s. If she has any friends, I rather think she wants to see them now." " Yes/ said Joel; " we must go to her/ " We includes me, I presume," said Carrie. " Yes, Carrie, daughter; you will be most welcome this morning. I know the old lady s pride; she must feel crest fallen enough. She will not care a pin about herself; it is only others she will fret over. I would not have had this happen for twice the amount they took from me. It will wellnigh extinguish the fire of the old lady s reforming enthusiasm." "In this I think you are mistaken," said Carrie. " She is not one to be put out in that way; it will only make her redouble her exertions to save more. She will more than ever see the necessity of reform, as we all must. " Catharine Stanly was not at all surprised when she heard what had happened. " Well," said Mr. Stanly, "lam glad to learn that Larry O Doodle is innocent, and had nothing to do with this busi ness. I was about to say if that man had turned thief, I would never have confidence in human nature again. By the way, Catharine, what was Larry before Madame Junk NOT BORN RIGHT. 479 took him in. He could not have been a thief, for he has nothing- of that in his appearance." " No," rejoined Mrs. Stanly. " I never understood that he was a thief. I think he was a tramp a sort of a vaga bond, and quite intemperate and indolent; but I never heard a word about other crimes." ""Well, there it is," said Mr. Stanly. "He is a fine specimen of a thoroughly reformed man; but I am very much inclined to think that a man who is a natural-born thief will die one. They cannot be made over, and all the reforming homes in Christendom will not make them fit for a place among decent people. I suppose we should drive out, and see Madame Junk. This will be apt to take the wind out of her sails." " You don t know her if you think so. This will prove the very theory she has everlastingly been advancing that we are not born right." te "Well," replied Mr. Stanly, "it is a subject worthy of thought and attention." Kate looked at her husband with astonishment. I was not aware you had given this subject any thought." "I have, and it was through Madame Junk that I was led to think of it." CHAPTER LY. A GOLD MINE THE BOY SPECK, A SCRUBBY LAMB FROM HUMANITY S FLOCK A NEW HOME THE HE A VENL Y FEELING OF BENEVOLENCE THE RA TS IN A BOX SPECK, THE HERO OF THE DA Y. two men in a boat, that we referred to in a former _ chapter, hoisted their sails, and put out. The wind was fair, and soon the boat looked like a little white speck in the distance. They sailed down the bay until they came to a small island situated a few miles from the city. "When they came within range of this island, the sails were taken in, and they took to the oars, pulling vigorously for the shore. They pulled around the opposite side of this hill in the water, and up to a stake that seemed placed there for the use of that especial boat, like a private hitching-post in front of a gentleman s residence. "Buh! buh! I am devilish cold," said one of the men. " Let us down to the digout. My stomach is crying cup board." " But," said the other one, " it is a big job to unload this cargo." " The cargo can go to the devil, for all of me. Not one hand s turn do I do until I have had something to eat and drink." "Well, eat and drink it is," said the first man; " only it will be poor fare we shall have if we don t look to our busi ness. Ha! ha! The Senator don t eat his breakfast from silver-plate this morning." (480) A WELL-DEVELOPED MINE. 481 "No; nor Ms dinner either. Wasn t it done neat? Do you think Tom will get over to-morrow night? Didn t you think Tom was full of don t-care ? I never saw him look so kind of down-in- the-mouth. He is not chicken-hearted, but he is no kind of a wharf rat. He is bold, but can t skulk worth nothing/ At this last word the two men passed from sight. They walked up the hill a few steps, moved something from the earth, and walked into the hill as they would a house-door. "What a nice place of abode for persons of exclusive habits! No discordant music over head, or under foot, or next door, to disturb the quiet of your repose; no aspiring operatic female to howl and groan and pound the piano, and make night hideous by her wails from Norma; no fiddles in the hands of young ideas that saw dying refrains; no trom bones whose blowers cheeks are inflated to their utmost capacity in the attempt to bellow like a calf. These wharf- rats are deprived of these blessings, and we envy them. They walked into this hill as they would a fairly developed mine; and it was a mine, differing from others in the fact that gold and silver were already coined. Such a mine would be looked upon as a rich find by most any ambitious explorer. The aperture through which these men passed was curiously contrived. It would take a very sharp eye to detect anything there. This hole was three feet square, and the door that closed was made in the form of a box eight inches in depth and just that many inches below the surface of the hillside, the upper edge of this box coming just even with the surface of the ground. This was filled with soil and sodded over, looking as if it had been growing there for the last ten years. The grass was green, and looked so innocent, you would never have dreamed it was in a box; and so well arranged was the whole thing, that you could not see that there was any division in the sod. After a delay sufficient to refresh the inner man, these two men emerged from their underground abode. So 3 1 482 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. quickly did they spring up and close the green door, that it would puzzle an adroit observer to tell where they came from. They walked about the island hill, looking sharply on all sides. There were no fishing-smacks out thus early. There was nothing in sight. The firmament of stars looked down; their silent appeal could not touch the rough natures over which they hung. The stars were beyond their reach. Could they have gathered them up and sold them for gold, the heavens would have been robbed before day-dawn, and each starry twinkler would have been safely deposited be hind the green door. As the two men jumped on shore there had emerged above the gunwale of the boat the head and shoulders of a boy. He might have been ten years old. What a head it was! Its covering was a piece of soft felt that had once been a hat; it lay quite snug to his head, and came near the eye brows. Stiff white hair protruded from this covering, that looked more like the bristles of a hog than the hair of a human being. His face was very thin and covered with freckles; his eyelashes were whiter, if possible, than his hair; his ears were large and lopped forward; his eyes were a bright blue; his mouth was immense in width; his lips were thin; his chin was covered with scabs. He looked like a half-frozen and half-starved animal. He had doubled himself into a knot something larger than a quart bowl, and covered himself with old sacks in the bottom of the boat. If he had been asked what he designed doing when be stored himself there, it is very doubtful if he could have told. An innate desire to peep into all things evil took him there. Instinct further told him it would be instant death if caught. This little wharf-rat s experience taught him the danger he was exposing himself to; he knew those men would crush him as they would a worm; but he would see what they were doing. He had watched this fishing-smack for several days, and like a rat that smells offal which it wishes to taste, he had followed them up. While the two THE BOY KEPT OUT OF SIGHT. 483 men -were on shore imbibing in an ale-house, he crept 011 board and hid himself. The two men not being aware of their little audience spoke without reserve. This boy had been given the sobriquet of Spectral. He was called Speck, for short, in those places which he usually frequented. His existence was, and ever had been, a meagre one. The pro prietors of low dens were in the habit of throwing him a morsel of meat now and then from their free-lunch tables. Drunken sailors would now and then give him a dime. He had no especial place to stop. He was one of those general public pigs that are tolerated in every community, just for the novelty of the thing. Speck drew his head back into the boat without making the least attempt to pick up any of the sacks of gold that lay in the bottom. This urchin had marked well the spot where he saw the two men go into the ground. He crawled back and covered himself with the old sacks. Presently the men came on board and lifted these canvas bags filled with massive silver-plate over the side of the boat, chink ing the sacks of money. Speck waited until he was con vinced they had removed everything. Again that head came out just in time to see the men walk into the hill, each with a sack on his shoulder. They were gone a few moments and returned for another load. Again the head came out. Then Speck crawled back; he began to think he was in a dilemma. How long would they stay here, and what should he do for something to eat? He was almost starved. What did he come for? He would be killed if he came out; and if the men remained there a week he should starve to death. Happy thought! maybe they would sleep in the hole, and he would come out at night, take their fishing tackle, and fish. Who knew but what he might catch a sturgeon? Thus Speck reasoned with himself. All day this public pig lay stowed away like a sack of meal. All day long he did not venture his head out. What could the men be doing in that hole counting their money? He thought 484 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. how ricli they will be. Would they be good now, and dress up in fine clothes, and live in a grand house, and have nno horses and handsome wives? Would they get into office where they could pull his ears? Speck thought if they have all this money they can buy all creation. It had not dawned upon the boy s mind that the money was not theirs. As he is compelled to remain quiet, the idea may come to him after a while. Naught is made in vain. The meanest worm that crawls the earth is of some use. Now this waif, with neither father nor mother, friend nor home, may be an instrument in the hands of a just God to work out a great end. If the white hairs of his head are numbered, his soul is worth gathering into the fold. He is one of the flock a scrubby lamb it may be but with care his fleece may grow white. How should this public pig know the right path? Uncared for, unkempt, untaught, what opportunities has he had to learn right from wrong ? And yet instinct teaches a dog or a hog right from wrong. A dog will steal into your larder and lug off a bit of meat; the very fact of his doing it when unobserved shows that he thinks it is wrong. An old hog will get into your garden and root and tear about, but the moment he sees you coming, away he runs, trying at every step to do more mischief; every move shows that this hog knows that he i^ on forbidden ground. Now, the untaught child of humanity only knows right from wrong on the same principles. Instinct is the birthright of every living thing; but animal instinct is far keener than human in stinct. How then can God and humanity hold accountable those creatures whose tiny germ of intellect has not been developed even to its poor limit? We incarcerate these hogs because they root up our gardens. We imprison small minds because what little they know runs to deviltry; we blame them because they are ignorant; we hold them re sponsible because they are not more moral. There is only one instance on record where something was made out of nothing, and that was when God made the world. SPECK FINDS A PRIZE. 485 Now, this little Speck we have taken up was shrewd in small ways. He could steal and lie as expertly in small ways as some of our greater minds do in large ways; and we make no doubt but that in time, and with half their school ing, ho will distance some of them by great odds. Speck had never kept still so long since he was born. Thoughts might have crept in through his white hair, and settled in the top of his head; but they never got nearer than the top most ends of his white bristles, for he would shake them off. But now he had got into a box, and must keep quiet. New thoughts had him at their mercy. They would creep up and take possession of their victim. The first thought that took possession of his white top-knot was, " What shall I do for something to eat ? There was 110 response to this ques tion; no still small voice said, "Be quiet, Speck; God has promised to feed the orphans." All the day long he laid in the boat. Once or twice the men came on board, but he heard no word or sign that they intended to shove out. When night came on he concluded that they intended to remain in the hole up the hill. He ventured out, and crept on his hands and knees to the opposite end of the boat, feel ing every inch of the way to see if he could pick up some stray crumbs of food. At last he struck something that felt like a bone; it was wrapped about with a cloth of some sort. Speck seized it eagerly; undid it, and found part of a ham and some dry crackers. So overjoyed was Speck that he would have thanked God if he had known anything about Him. He took from his pocket a dull knife, and sawed with all his strength until he had severed a good slice. But his natural instinct told him that he must not take it all, for it would be missed. He wrapped both crackers and meat up as nearly as ho could guess they were done before, and with his treasure crept back to his hiding-place. He had just time to creep under tho sacks when the two men came on board. They were questioning whether it was best to return to the city that night or wait until to-morrow. Speck held 486 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. his breath and listened. They finally concluded they would wait until the next night. Then they went on shore, and Speck was left to enjoy his evening meal alone. It tasted good. He could smack his lips as loud as he wished, for there was no one to hear. When he had finished, he laughed a little low laugh, just to hear his own voice. Then he was quiet, and thoughts began to come in and keep him com pany, and the little white-headed boy actually enjoyed him self. He was thinking what he would do if he had all that money. "When he was a big man, like these men, he would have as much. He could get it just as well as they did. In his eyes these men were heroes great men. They had done a big thing; they were rich; they could have all they wanted; they could have shoes to wear; they could buy a boat, and sail around the world. Where did these men get that money ? and had the man they took it from any more ? and what would he do for some ? Then he laughed. " He will have nothing to eat like me. Would not that man be glad, though, if he knew who had his money, and where it was?" Now comes another thought: "Wouldn t he be glad if I should go and tell him !" Then another thought followed that: " What would that man give me if I should go and tell him? I know now! I ll fix em! Just let me get back, and I ll tell the gentleman where they are. They would not give me some if I should ask "em. They would kill me, and stick me up in the hole. Speck will fix em!" and he laughed a little low laugh again. He thought that he saw the gentleman giving him a whole ham for telling where the money was, and he opened his wide mouth as if he would swallow a whole ham then and there. Wouldn t it be jolly to look at rats in a cage big rats that he caught himself ? Wouldn t it be fine fun to poke em through the bars with a long stick, and say that it was Speck that put you in here ? " How I would like to do it, just to pay em back for keeping me in this hole, and starving me to death! Yes, I ll do it, that I will. The grand gentleman shall have THE BOAT AGAIN IN MOTION. 487 all his money back. I ll Speck em. They ll find that little rats have ears as Vv T ell as big ones." Speck had evidently forgotten that he was there from his own choice. He knew that he would be killed if he was caught, and from this arose the feeling that he was in some way persecuted kept there and starved to death. It never occurred to this pub lic pig that lie could render the community a great service. What should he know of such examples ? No one had ever sacrificed themselves for his comfort. What should he know about doing a kind turn ? All the night long the black lamb from out humanity s flock lay awake drawing up his plans, as concisely, in his way, as an adroit general who is about to marshal a regi ment of soldiers on a battle-field. It was the very first time he had kept company with thoughts, and to-night he was captain of a large company of them. He drew them up in line; he ordered them to forward, charge, and fire! There was no retreat to little Speck s regiment. They would win the battle or die in the attempt! It is not best that he be lost in reverie too long, lest he forget where he is, and crawl out, trying to set things in motion before it is time. When daylight dawned, it was then he began to have a de sire to peep out to go out and be free. But he must remain quiet all that clay, and far into the night; for it was not likely these men would care to arrive in the city before night. Then he asked himself the question whether they would go 011 shore, and give him a chance to get off. Once safely on land, the little rat would find plenty of places to hide. During the day one of the men came to the boat, and poked something in, pushing it snug up against Speck, until each particular white hair stood on end. During the latter part of the afternoon, Speck fell asleep. He thought he must have slept a long time; for when he awoke the boat was in motion. The wind must have been unfavorable, for the men were at the oars, and every stroke made music in the ears of Speck. He no longer thought of 488 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. informing on the men. He felt so grateful they were taking him back, where he could get out and breathe the fresh air. You will observe how the boy s fancy had already began to develop. He began to think he was receiving a personal favor. The sea was smooth; he could hear every stroke of the oars. He could hear every oath they uttered, and the snatches of song they sang. At last the boat stopped. Speck held his breath, and lis tened. Then he heard the pulling of ropes, and then the words " Come on! I am going on shore." At length all was quiet, and he peeped out. They were gone, and there was the city, with its myriad gaslights, and here was the hungriest little Speck that ever jumped on shore. The boy had taken but a step or- two when he happened to think about that ham. He returned, and found it in the same place. He tucked it under his arm, and, with one of those malicious laughs, walked away. Speck walked for some distance along the wharf until he came to a narrow alley. He turned up this. Walking a block and a half, he stopped before a story -and-a-half house, with a sign placed on the peak of the gable, which was half as tall as the house itself. This sign read, " Sailors Board ing House/ The letters were immense in length, and sig nificant of the inmates, for not one of them stood straight. They all looked as if they had " three sheets in the wind, and the other fluttering." The whole front of the house was a bar-room, kitchen and eating room. The sleeping- rooms were in the half story overhead. A little narrow stairway led up from the outside. Into this stairway Speck slunk. He went up three steps, sat down, and prepared to make a raid on that ham. Together with sawing and gnaw ing, he made quite a hearty meal. Placing his head on the step above the one on which he sat, and beside the ham- bone, he fell asleep. He dreamt that he called at a house, and was talking with a great gentleman that had lost all his silver, and that the gentleman had given him a ham for A DREADFUL RUMPUS OUT THERE. 489 telling. He was aroused by a loud laugh; he rubbed his eyes with his greasy hands, and looked down at the bottom of the steps, and saw an old sailor, who had in times gone by given him a bit to dance. "Ha! ha!" roared the old salt. "Shiver my timbers, if here ain t little Speck asleep alongside a ham bone! Ha! ha! Speck, did you eat all that ham yourself?" Speck jumped up, ran down the steps, and presented the bone to the sailor. I don t want it, little rat. Did you steal it ?" " Yes," said Speck. " Don t peach; they will kill me." " Kill you, Speck! Who will kill you? 3 " Them where I took it." "Well, I don t tell, you little fool. I d have done the same myself if I was hungry and couldn t get a bite. Don t be scared, pig. Jack Tar is not going to peach about that. Where have you been these clays?" " Under the wharf, fishing," said Speck, now fully awake, and beginning to lie with all his old instinct. " Hum ! Did you catch a whale?" The boy looked out from under his white eyebrows, and there was a peculiar twinkle all over his face. " If I sed I did, you would say I was spiiming a yarn." " If you would show me the whale, I d say you was spin ning a true one." "When I gets the whale in a box I ll show him to you. You ll see as little Speck can catch a big fish." "See here, little Speck; what is the matter with you? Have you been to the Reformatory Factory?" ""Where is that? 3 said the boy, looking up, with an in quiring expression upon his face. " Out here," said the old sailor, nodding his head this way, to indicate the direction. " What do they do there?" "Why, they make folks like you and I be born over again. They had a dreadful rumpus two or three nights MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. ago out there tried to burn the old head saint up. Tom Splinter was caught, and a fine thing he has fixed for him self," said the old sailor, walking away and muttering as if he had been rather addressing himself than the boy. Little Speck walked away like a poor dog to hide his bone, for there was still as much meat on it as had some times served him for a week. This done, he returned and sat down on the stairs again. Tom Splinter? Yes; that was the name he heard the men call as he lay hid in the boat. Now Speck was thinking, where shall I go to hear more? A great desire to know all about this seemed to take sudden possession of him, without any definite idea what he should do when he had found it out. It was very sel dom little Speck ever went into the civilized part of the city. "What would Speck have to do among the civilized people, with his trowsers slit and in tatters, his bare feet, and a griddle cake on his head for a hat? But a sudden awaken ing to know what was going on in lae world had taken pos session of him. He marched boldly forth and would promenade with the best. The streets were thick with news boys, with packages hung over their arms, crying as if their throats would split: " The last horror!" " Yes; that s it," said Speck, stopping to listen, and try ing to catch every word. At last a very small boy, not much larger than himself, came along. Speck stepped boldly up and pulled him by the sleeve. The newsboy turned about and eyed Speck with contempt. "What s that you re a-yelling?" demanded Speck. " The news." " What news?" said Speck. " I ll tell you, if you will help me carry the papers." Speck reached for the package, slung it over his shoulder as he had seen the others do, and walked beside the boy, who cried the same thing over and over, and asked every gentle man he met if he would have a paper. They walked and walked until Speck began to get tired, and not much wiser. READING THE NEWS. 49 1 " Come, ain t ye going* to tell me the news?" said Speck. " Can t you read?" "No; can you?" " Yes; like a top. When I sell out we will sit down and I will read you the news." " Will ye walk till ye sell all of these ere papers?" " No; when we go through the post-office then we will read." " How long will that take ?" " About an hour." So the two boys trudged on, Speck carrying the package all the way, just for the news it contained. As the two trudged along, the newsboy turned to Speck with an inquis itive leer, and asked, " What do you do ?" " Do?" said Speck. " I mean, how do you get your living ?" " Oh, I work." "What kind of work?" " I dance sometimes, and sing sometimes." " Dance!" said the newsboy, glaring at Speck s bare feet and ragged pantaloons. " Yes, I see you have danced your clothes almost off your back, and some of the hide off your chin." By this time the boys had arrived at the post-office; the newsboy shouting, "Here s your morning paper ! All about the last horror! Here s the Morning Express! All about the thieves that tried to burn up the Reformatory Home!" When they had passed through the post-office, they sat dow\i upon the step. The newsboy ordered Speck to sit down with as pompous an air as if he had been a judge, and Speck a criminal upon whom he was about to pronounce sentence. He spread the paper out over his knee, and patted it with the palm of his hand. He smoothed out the creases, and proceeded to read the heading. Speck drew close to the boy s elbow, taking off the pancake on his head 49 2 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. to let the knowledge in. It could not be expected that Speck would understand every word. The flowery rhetoric of the local aspirant for literary fame was as pearls before swine. When the newsboy had finished reading a solid column and a half, Speck began to ask questions. " Where did the man live ?" " Why, you ninny, didn t I just read you where he lived ?" "Oh! read it now. Where is the street?" said Speck. " Why, you must be a fool if you don t know where that street is. All the grandees live on that street; but then you have so much dancing to do that you can t know." The newsboy began to explain where the street was. He crossed his forefingers, and said, "You must pass this way, and then down that, and up that, and then round the cor ner, and there you are." It was just as easy for Speck to find a needle in a haystack as to keep track of such a description; but he had not the courage to ask the boy to tell him over again. The newsboy shoved his hands far down into his breeches pockets, and eyed Speck from top to toe. * c Look ahere ! what are you so dreadful particular to know where this man lives for? Going up there to dance and sing, hey ?" "No, no! The other day a man asked me to take a budget up there, and I did not know the way." "Oh!" and the newsboy glared at Speck s make-up. " Why, you would scare hens off from their roost, and frighten the watch-dog into a fit, if you went looking as you do now." Speck began wondering if he was such a horrible-looking creature as to scare a hen off her roost and frighten the watch-dog into a fit. Speck deliberately walked away with out uttering one word. He resolved to walk the streets awhile longer, and listen to all he could catch regarding this matter. FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS REWARD. 493 Speck was sauntering through one of the main thorough fares, when his attention was attracted toward two gentle men, who were standing on a corner. Speck heard the words : " They took nearly everything I had of any value." " Do you think the police will ferret out the matter ?" " Well, I don t know. I have more faith in the reward I have offered than in the whole posse of them." "How much is it?" " Five thousand dollars." "Ah, indeed! that will be likely to bring them in. I wish you all success. Good morning." The two gentlemen went their separate ways. Speck fol lowed the one who had offered five thousand dollars reward for something; but he could not make out what. Speck kept the man in sight, and it seemed to him that they walked a long distance, when the man stopped in front of a beauti ful residence, and was about to open a gate. This was no less a person than Senator A. Goliah Smith that was leading on this public pig, whom the very dogs would howl at. Was this the great man who could afford to give five thousand dollars for the punishment of thieves to be befriended by so small a specimen of humanity ? Ma} T - hap God was fulfilling His promise when He said, " Cast thy bread upon the waters, and it shall return to you after many day s. This great-hearted man had befriended orphan boys, and from out the heart of the multitude God would bring one to return the favor. " Mister! Mister!" piped Speck. The Senator faced about and looked at Speck from head to foot, and without uttering a word drew out some silver coin which he reached toward the boy, taking it for granted that that was what he wanted. " See here, Mister; I don t want money. I want to tell you something." "Well, what is it?" said the Senator, looking at Speck more intently than ever. 494 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " Did some chaps get into your house one night?" " Yes. What do you know about it?" "I seen something," said Speck, with a knowing look, blinking his white eyelashes. Do you wish to tell me what you have seen ?" "Yes; I do/ 5 " Come in," said the Senator, opening the gate and lead ing the way up to the house. He bade the boy follow him to his study. To Speck it seemed like a dream. He had never been in such a house before, and had scarce ever seen one from the outside. His eyes rolled up to the stucco and at the silken damask curtains, the many books, the easy chairs, and the beautiful carpet. He opened his great mouth as if he could see something with that. The Senator un derstood enough of human nature to allow him time to take everything in undisturbed. After some ten minutes had elapsed, he ventured to ask Speck if he liked it. "Beitallyour n?" "Yes; all mine/ said the Senator, not a little amused at the unfeigned surprise of the boy. " But what have you to tell me?" Speck took one more look about and began by asking the Senator if he was going to kill him if he told him some thing. "Kill you!" said Mr. Smith. "If you are a good boy and tell me the truth, I will be the best friend you ever had." (That was no great promise.) " I ll tell you all I ve seen, as sure s I live." And Speck related to Mr. Smith, in his disjointed way, how he had concealed himself in the boat, about the men, the hole in the hill, and the bags they carried up there; how the men looked and where they started from. " But why did you come to tell me of it?" " Cause" " Because what?" " Cause they would kill me if they catched me there." SPECK PROMISED MORE HAM. 495 "But they did not catch you. Did you think I would give you money for telling ?" " No." "What did you think?" " I thought you would give me some ham." "Are you hungry?" " I m allers hungry." " "Where do you live?" " Down at the wharf." "But what house?" " No house." "Where do you sleep?" "In a barrel." Were you sent here ?" "No; I folleredyou." " But how did you know I was the man?" " I lieerd you talking, and guessed so." " Could you find this place where the men hid the bags?" "Yes; I could." " Would you like to stay with me a few days?" Speck rolled his eyes all round the room again, and looked down to his bare feet and ragged clothing, as if he were dreaming. I will give you all the ham you want, if everything you have told me proves to be true." " Mister, you see the end of my finger, don t you?" said Speck, holding up his forefinger. " Yes, I see it," said the Senator, wondering what the boy could mean. "You see it, do you, Mister? Now you hear me say ham! ham! ham!" and Speck opened his big mouth to its utmost width, and pronounced the words separately and dis tinctly. "Did you hear that, Mister ham! ham! ham! You heerd it, did you ?" " Yes," said the Senator, half amused, now believing that the boy was very hungry or insane. 496 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. Speck -was very silent. This was his first attempt at illus tration, and he was trying to fix in his niind the best mode of going on with it. "Yes, my boy, I heard you use the word ham. What of it ?" "Oh! ye did, did ye?" said Speck, brightening up. "Well, as true as ye heerd, I heerd what I told ye. As true as ye seen the end of my finger, so true I seen what I told ye." The Senator started up, and viewed Speck with fresh in terest. The illustration was simple, but not wanting in effect. " So you will stay with me for a time?" " If they catch me they will kill me/ said Speck. " They won t catch you while you are in my house." The Senator touched the bell, and his servant appeared, but stopped, looking aghast at the guest within. " Take this boy, and see that he has a good bath, clean, comfortable clothes, shoes, stockings, hat, and, in short, everything that will make him look human/ " And a ham!" piped Speck. " Yes, and give him plenty to eat; and ham, if he prefers it. Call the hairdresser, and have his hair trimmed; and I would suggest that it be well oiled." The Senator was moved to this suggestion by the individ uality of Speck s hair. Each hair stood up alone, without any friendly support from its neighbors. Between each two hairs the scalp looked like the back of a scrubby pig. The Senator is lost in thought. He wonders how many such unkempt boys there are in the city. His thoughts take in Madame Junk. Yes, her head is level in this direction. We do need a reform for these waifs. What better or more charitable object could a man have than to care for such boys? What a glorious work to make men out of such material! But, the devil! there is the brains we can t make brains. If they only have brains there is no fear. At IF THEY ONLY HAVE BRAINS. 497 all events, he had picked up one of the worst-looking speci mens he had ever seen, and would try his hand on it. Then his thoughts turned to Joel, how he had befriended him; but that was another thing. There was a boy who had brains, and could almost boast of blue blood, and blood would tell. He would send for his son and daughter; he would counsel with them over this new resolution. He touched the bell, and the same man put his head in. Well, how is little tow-head?" "All right. You won t know him." " Ah, indeed! Please say to Mr. and Mrs. Fletcher that I would like to see them a few moments." The message was delivered, and they were soon at the study-door. A slight tap was responded to by a hearty " Come in." When they had been made acquainted with all that had happened, Joel was in doubt about the boy, while Carrie was in sympathy with him. "Where is he, father? Most certainly we will try and reform him. Besides, if this is true which he has told father, we are under obligations to him." "Yes," responded Joel, "if it is true; but this sort of thing is played so frequently that it is best to have our eyes open. What more do you think of doing, father ?" "Well, that is a question I wished to confer with you about. If we place this in the hands of the authorities, it must be done with caution. We will think of it to-day, and to-morrow we will act. Meanwhile, we will keep the boy here." Again the Senator summoned a servant. " Has the young gentleman completed his toilet yet?" " Yes, Sir." "Well, bring him in." Whereupon Master Spectral was ushered into the pres ence of the trio. The Senator was so much astonished at the boy s metamorphosis that he leaned forward in his chair and stared at the boy for a full minute. His white hair was 32 49 8 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. two shades darker; in place of the unhealthy gray look about his face there was a glow; the clean white shirt, the respectable coat and pantaloons, and the good substantial shoes, all combined to make him look quite anotber boy. None but those who have done such benevolent deeds can realize the great pleasure the Senator enjoyed as he looked at this boy. And this was his work. There is an inward satisfaction in it that no language can depict. Man feels the Spirit of God warm within him. In those moments the gates of heaven seem ajar, and the voice of God speaks: Good and faithful servant, thou hast done well. Inasmuch a3 ye did it unto one of the least of these, my brethren, ye have clone it unto me/ " What is your name?" asked Joel. " Speck/" " Have you no other names?" " No." You must say, No, Sir/" chimed in Carrie, beginning her reform. " IIuvo you a father and mother?" " Nob as I knows on." " Can you read?" "No." " Sir," said Carrie. "Noser." "Would you know the men that were in the boat with you?" "Yes." " Sir," said Carrie, again. "Yesser." " Yv ell, to-rnorrow we will see about this. You must not go out 011 the streets to-day." Then speaking in ,in undertone to his father, Joel said: " It will bo well to keep an eye on this boy. Have one of the men sleep in the same room with him to-night. It will be well to show caution in this matter." THE FIRST PLEASANT LESSON. 499 Carrie arose and bade the boy follow her into the garden. She asked him if he liked flowers, and plucked him u few sweet-scented violets, which he held in his fist with a grip that crushed the stems. She showed him the birds, and told him their names; showed him the fish, and thus gave him the first pleasant lesson of his life. This was Speck s debut among what Joel used to term the " high-toners." It was like a pleasant dream to him. He could not realize that it was a reality; nor had he ever had such dreams. He had sometimes dreamed that he had a good meal of victuals, but fine warm clothing, never; for one is not likely to dream of being warm when he is actually cold, unless it be in that frozen sleep that knows no waking. CHAPTEE LYI. A THROUGH TICKET, ABOUT WHICH NO QUESTIONS WILL BE ASKED A LITTLE DAUGHTER WOMEN SHOULD BE HELPMEETS. SHE that was Miss Sally Busy is comfortably ensconced in the abode of our puckered-up plum, and rejoices in the title of Mrs. D. D. Spludge, and it is a title not to be sneezed at. Very much to the regret of Madame Junk, the Spludges have no children. No man has a right to marry a woman who has been a spinster and a preceptress without giving her something more to rule than one poor scrubby old man, whose spirit was broken before he gave himself to her. It is an outrage to womanhood. "When a woman has for a number of years had something to rule, she can no more happily exist without this diversion than a man can without thinking and feeling he is made of a superior class of mud than what was used in making woman. Such are the inconsistencies of the human race. Mr. Spludge s daughter was now Mrs. Albert Mayo, and she had been kind enough to make her father grandfather to a fine handsome boy. Madame Junk had received a murderous shock at the time the Reformatory Home was so besieged, from which she had not altogether recovered. Yet, with her will, she managed to keep things running. Applicants for the king dom of heaven were overhauled with more vigilance, and made to give a more accurate account of themselves where they had lived and what they had been doing for a living. Madame Junk s laborious life was beginning to tell on her. ( 500) SPECK IS TO BE EDUCATED. 501 This misfortune was the last straw that broke the camel s back not that Madame Junk s back was broken, or that we wish to have it so. But, figuratively speaking 1 , we actually know that this last straw was necessary to bring- this insti tution into a prosperous, reasonable Reforming Home for Depraved Humanity. Mrs. Stanly saw this, and awaited the result. Not that Madame Junk s religious ardor had in the least abated, or that she thought that the least of God s children were to be considered with less care than of yore; but the question arose in her mind whether it would not be better to protect the majority, rather than make them sub servient to the murderous, incendiary caprices of the few. She always argued with a true sense of the right that is, as far as her reason led her; and we regret that heretofore it has, not always been up to the mark for a woman of her calibre. A few of the clergy appreciated her efforts; and, if not quite so loud in their praise, they were steady in their friendships. Through these good men, most of the new applications were made. Hence, the later applicants who manifested a wish to be born again had passed through a mill; and if not ground quite fine, had at least some of the prominent coarse corners ground off, and were handed over to Madame Junk to be ground as fine as such a mill should grind. But Madame Junk was not content to confine her reform atory measures to men and women alone. Her mind was in constant agitation on the subject of doing something for our boys. Speck is destined to make the bottom round in the ladder toward climbing to this project; for at that very moment the Senator was thinking: " Yes, yes; if this turns out as the little fellow says, this five thousand dollars shall be appropriated toward building a home for these vag abonds. Speck shall be educated. I will give him a chance, and if he has brains he will come out all right. If there is any good in him it shall be brought to the surface." Now, Madame Junk had prayed for assistance to erect a 5O2 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. Homo for vagrant boys. Speck would have been the last object she would have thought of laying do\vn for a corner stone of such an edifice. Yet this same little ragamuffin, this white-haired public pig, was the instrument that God had chosen to work out the problem. Madame Junk prided herself that she was about the only one who had given this theme attention. In ibis she was much mistaken. Joel Fletcher bad given the subject consideration. Thanks be to Madame Junk for his early training. Joel was not like the general run of mankind, who think, because they have prospered, the world Las no right to expect anything of tbem. To kneel in church, and thank God by word of mouth for all our blessings, is scarcely the ticket to pass to heaven on; but to thank God for our good fortune by help ing those in misfortune is a through ticket about which no questions will be asked. Mrs. Catharine Stanly has a little daughter. Now this world is a new world to her. Her heart is as full of joy as the birds that sing without her window in the tall elm tree. This child born so late in life was an especial blessing. Mrs. Stanly almost feared God had forgotten her; but for this precious boon she would thank Him all the days of her life. Sternna had left Scotland for Switzerland. She WTote and received letters from Mother Junk and her that was Miss Sally Busy. To Carrie and Joel the letters were regu lar and frequent, with many kind remembrances to the Senator, who was wont, when reading them, to remove his glasses to wipe off a speck which, strange to say, seemed to always light there when he read those letters. As often as the speck came on his eyeglasses he remarked: " The most womanly woman I ever knew r ." This remark was made without fear or favor, and before his wife and daughter. Mrs. Smith looked glum, and Carrie answered, with a laugh : "Papa! your gallantry should permit you to acknowledge the present company." HE LIKED INDIVIDUAL WOMEN. 503 "I make no exceptions. I say again, she is the most womanly woman I ever saw. Not a bit of the Amazon, but just enough of the manly clement in her composition to make her a grand woman." " Then you like masculine, strong-minded women? put in Mrs. Smith. I like individual women. There is a wide difference between women and dolls." "If all women were like your protegee, there would bo no wives," argued Mrs. Smith. "If all women were like my protegee, men. would have helpmeets. A man would have to stir himself to keep pace with such a woman, and the consequence would be, wo should have more active men." " All women are not as gifted as this lady." " Maybe not in the same direction; but if real necessity forced them to think for themselves, their special gifts would bo brought into action. Take the general run of women and ihey have no less gifts than men; but the con ventional rules of society have forced them to bo dolls. They never think that God designed them to do work. Women do not know that they can lead men up to the very highest pinnacle of human perfection, and yet they idly fold their hands and allow us to plod along like a set of animals." CHAPTEE LYII. THE SAIL-SPECK, THE BRIGHT PARTICULAR STAR- TEE RATS IN A BOX: THEY ARE CAUGHT THE INFANT NAMED ROGER. "QJPECK! Speck! ho there, Speck; wake up!" said the ^__) servant, accompanying his words with a violent shak ing of little Speck. This was on the third day after Speck s arrival in the Senator s family, and this day they were to sail in search of, not Captain Kid s treasure, but Senator A. Goliah Smith s, and that of a few of his neighbors. Speck was the bright particular star of the occasion. Speck rubbed his eyes with his fists, turned over in his comfortable bed, and would not have been in haste to get up, but the thought of a good breakfast flashed across his mind. He remembered that the last words the Senator said to him before retiring were, that to-morrow they would set out to find the place he had de scribed. The morning was cool but clear as the little sail-boat put out from the very same point where the two men started. The party consisted of the Senator, Joel, Speck, and two officers of the law. If Speck was least in size, he was not in importance. He sat in the centre of the boat, master of circumstances. No one would have recognized the boy as the one who fell asleep beside the ham-bone, on the stairs of the sailors boarding-house. His hollow cheeks had grown plump, even in this short time. He was combed, washed, clothed and fed; and three days will make a vast difference with a boy when he has plenty to eat. ( 504 ) THE LITTLE CAPTAIN. 505 " Here, Mister/ said Speck, standing up in the boat, and flourishing his hand, like a first-class captain to his mate, " down this way, and round that/ pointing to an island. " Go ahead now/ All were silent, and watched the boy. In a few moments he arose again, pointing with his finger. " Mister, you see that ere little hill out in the water there? That ere is the place." His white eyelashes went up and down. His blue eye brightened, his nostrils moved, and he opened his wide mouth as if he would swallow the hill. His whole face became animated. Speck did not sifc down again. Every pulse of his body vibrated. No one spoke, and Speck kept his eyes and mouth fixed upon the hill in the water, s if he feared it might bob under, and he should not see where and when it went down. " Mister, this is the place;" and the boat was pulled up to the very stake where the two men landed. One by one the men jumped on shore. As the officer lifted little Speck over the side of the boat, and sat him down, he said, " Now, then, my little man, show us the place." Speck stood just one moment. He looked up and down the hillsides. There was not the least visible sign of any excavation thereabouts; but he walked directly up to the spot where he had seen the two men enter the hill. Speck was quickly down on his hands and knees, cutting the sod with the same knife he had cut the ham with. He had re moved but two or three pieces not larger than a man s hand when his knife came in contact with the edge of a board. The boy jumped and stamped. " Here it is! here it is, Mister Perleece. Here, Mister, take that long iron, and make a hole here, and you ll see." The long iron was driven in with force. One pry, and the door upon which the green grass was planted flew open, and the first sound that greeted their ears was a prolonged blasphemous curse, that seemed to ascend from the confines 506 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. of hell. The officer ordered each man to take a given place, and in a loud voice cried, " "Whoever is in this cavity come forth 1" The answer was a decided declination to do so, accom panied by a statement that they would see him in a very warm place first. " But, my friends, we shall find means to make you do so." The answer came up, " Fire away, old covey!" " Not I," returned the officer. tc I have a better way of ousting you," " Give us the patent," was the saucy reply. " Yes; here it is;" and he held a powder-flask over the door. "See here! Can you see ?" A muttered curse was the only answer. "I will give you just two minutes to lay down your arms, and make your appearance among us." All this time Speck stood behind the Senator, pulling his coat-skirts, and saying, "Don t let them kill me!" The boy seemed to have forgotten that they did not know that he had informed on them. He almost wished he had not done it. A minute and a half had passed by the officer s watch. Just then the head of a man came up. He threw a hasty glance around the cavity. When he saw how well guarded it was, he held out his hands submissively for the shackles. The officer recognized an old friend, one who had worked for the State in times gone by. When the shackles were securely adjusted, he allowed him to step out. " How many more are in there?" said Ihe officer. " Five hundred," replied the prisoner, with a leer. " You can reserve your jokes until you get to work at your trade." The words had not more than passed his lips before another head came up. This man was secured in the same way. THE ROBBERS HOME. 507 "Are there more there?" asked the officer of this man. " No." It was not until their feet were as secure as their hands that Speck felt any degree of comfort. When they were thus secured, and a man detached to stand as guard, the Senator, Joel, and one officer and Speck, entered the mine. First there were three steps, about a foot in depth, then a narrow passage three feet long, and just wide enough for a man s body to pass. This led into another cavity, which was about eight feet square and, five feet in height. This was boarded around the sides, and in two or three places propped up by timbers. There were six or eight holes, two inches in width, through which you could see the blue sky. These holes looked like so many stars; they had been drilled from the outside, and it was at least eight feet from the surface to the top of this cavity. When w^e calculate the time and labor expended on this mine, we shall see that men could scarce afford so much without being well paid for it. Sticks were driven into the earth and two boards placed thereon; this seemed to be the table. On this stood two lighted can dles. Silence reigned for some time. "Well," said the officer, "I have been in this business for many a year, and this beats all my first Avife s relations. This is what I call fixy. Let us see what these gentlemen have in their keeping." And he proceeded to empty the several canvas bags and wooden boxes. The latter contained gold and silver coin to the amount of several thousand dollars; the bags were filled with silver-plate in great quantities. All the things were secured, and the party began to make their way out of the mine. If the Senator pressed Speck s hand with a fervent grip in leaving this place, it is not to be wondered at. " Keep still, my little man; don t let them know that you did this." The two men were placed in the boat, side by side; the bags and boxes were placed on board, and Speck sat be tween Joel and the Senator. There were but few words ex- 508 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. changed. The wind was fair, the sails were hoisted, and the thirty miles were made in quick time. The interval that passed in returning to the city the prisoners gave to looking over the party that had brought them to justice. One of the prisoners fixed his eyes on Speck with such a hateful glare, that Speck dropped his white eyelashes. The prisoner thought that this was a strange expedition for a boy. He looked at Speck s clothing. "Yes, yes; it cannot be a son. Where have I seen this little devil?" He nudged his com rade with his elbow. " Look at the boy. Have you ever seen him before?" " No. Yes; it seems to me I Lave, but I can t tell where." 1 What do you think he came with these chaps for? Who ever heard of taking a small boy after the like of us?" Somehow, Speck had lost all desire to poke rats in a box with a stick. He should want a might} 7 " long stick a mile long at least so they could not see who stood at the end of it. On arriving in the city the prisoners were remanded to prison, and assigned cells on either side of Tom Splinter, while the Senator, Joel and Speck were whirled home in a carriage. Speck was the hero of the clay. If he had been treated with consideration before, he ^Yas treated with marked deference now. The Senator felt under personal obligations to him, and that the community was also in debted to him. What a choice titbit this would be to Madame Junk! Wouldn t she make capital of it! She would say, "Behold! here is one of our vagrants that has been a godsend to com munity. Now, come forward all you who are charitably in clined, and pool in, and let s have a home for such as these." Notwithstanding the admonition to keep quiet, it leaked out, and Speck was interviewed by several newspaper reporters, and not a few of them considered that they had lassooed a hero. They wrote him up (to use their own words) as a boy with the eye of an eagle, and a tongue as sharp as a two- edged sword. Old women read, and wondered; young NOT A SPECK ABOVE SPECK. 509 belles read, and sighed. Speck s fame was growing so great that, had he been old enough to many, he could have led to the altar the richest girl in the country. In short, if the Senator had caught and caged a wild ourang-outang, and was making a free exhibition of it, he would not have been more besieged. From a poor little rat, that picked up the crumbs that had fallen in byplaces, Speck found himself the inmate of a millionaire s house. All this was not quite pleasing to Mrs. Smith. She had no proof that Speck s blood was good. The Senator affirmed that, as a boy, Joel was not a speck above Speck. " But," said the w r ife, " do you think Joel would be what he is to-day if blue blood did not flow in his veins ?" The Senator replied that he did not care if his blood was blue or green, he should not go about bleeding boys to see what color their blood was before he gave them a bite to eat. Here was a clincher, and there was not the least use in trying to get over it. When the Senator came to discuss the matter with his daughter, which he did very soon after wards, he found her not only willing, but delighted to join with him in all his plans. Carrie said, " Poor boy! he does not seem to have any name. Why not give him ours ?" " As for the Smiths," said the Senator, " I presume there are a number of Smiths in the world that are not more worthy of the name than Speck is. We must give him a first name; for if he continues to grow as fast as he has done since he has been with us, he will cease to be a Speck. What do you think of Spectator Smith ?" said the Senator, w r ith a dry laugh. 11 Well, that is very good; but he would always be Speck for short, so that would not mend the matter." " Well, I will leave the naming of the infant to you; and, if you are pleased, I shall be." "Father, if that be so, I shall call him Roger." " Capital! Roger Smith is not bad to take by way of a name." CHAPTER LYIII. THE F. F. r:s AT HOME THE EFFECT OF WASHINGTON SOCIETY-MORE REFORM THE WEDDING OF LARRY DOODLE MOTH EXTERMINA TOR. WASHINGTON society was on the qni vive over the announcement that Joel Fletcher and his fair California bride would spend the winter amid their festive scenes. As for Mr. Fletcher, senior, he was the most de lighted antiquated piece of aristocracy extant. Indeed, so anxious was he to appear to advantage that he was actually discussing the question whether or not he should dress in his continental clothing, with a coat whose skirts were lined with white satin, and trimmed with gold lace. At all events, if he did not appear in society in this suit, he resolved to air it at home. He would like to show Mrs. Joseph Fletcher something of the F. F. V. s. To be known, the F. F. V. s must be seen in their native element. Nothing of the latter- day plebeians in them. Ah no! plebeians were as far from the Fletchers as Saints are from the Latter-Day Saints. The effect of Washington society upon Joel was not cal culated to strengthen his confidence in mankind. He gave all his leisure to watching the modus operandi of political rings. He dove deep into the cesspool of corruption. What astonished him most of all was, to find Congress filled with men who had neither education nor ability. Joel had supposed the high dignitaries were men who, if they had not received a theoretical education, had afc least delved for knowledge for themselves, and devoted long years to active research. He had more than once asked himself how Father AN EPITAPH MAY BE REQUIRED. 5 I 1 Smith had ever been able to pass muster; but now that ho was sitting among them and listening- to their words, he looked back upon Father Smith as a modern Solomon. So it is: Uie nearer we approach great lights, the less brightly they shine. If Joel was disappointed, his wife was not less so. When she looked about upon this vast array of fashion, and saw how untiringly they labored to fill their places in society, she asked herself if this was a full life. "Yes," she thought, "it is full enough; but of what?" Not of reform; not of anything that will benefit future ages. Cultivated women there are among these butterflies, obeying reluct antly all their own arbitrary rules, but never assisting their husbands and fathers (and heaven knew they needed assist ance). To be considered a beautiful woman and the ap pointments of the residence of a political leader could only be arranged by a woman of taste and culture to be called an ornament of society, was their highest ambition. How hollow! how unsatisfying to a mind like hers! Mrs. Joel Fletcher attended the receptions with Father Fletcher, who was never so happy as when he was present ing her to some old-time friends, in his old-time ceremoni ous way. It has been some time since Madame Junk has written an epitaph. Indeed, we fear she will get out of practice, un less some of the inmates of the Reformatory Home shuffle off their mortal coil. As far as wo go, there are none we want to part with. But the ways of Providence are not our wa} T s; and if an epitaph should be wanted on the shortest possible notice, we do not wish to be held responsible. There is a great commotion in the Reformatory Home this day and year of our Lord 187G. Now, reader, you need not try to guess, for you would quite exhaust yourself, and all to no purpose. Wo will not harrow up your feelings with suspense, but will proceed to relate that Larry O Doodle is to bo married. "Married!" you say; "to whom? Not Madame Junk, surely!" Ah no! a younger and much bet- 512 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. ter-looldng lady. When and where has he done his courting?" He never went outside the great gate at the Reformatory Home. Do you suppose we would be so mean as to have a man who had learned to read and write and cast up accounts, remain single all his days ? Besides all that, he is industrious, ambitious, and he has tried on his wedding-suit to see how he looks. To tell you the truth, he is a good-looking man. Madame Junk is bustling about over various large cakes that are in process of completion, and upon one of them stands a sugar bride who is about to be united in the holy bonds of matrimony to a sugar lord. No sweeter couple ever stood upon a sugar platform. Madame Junk is de termined that this cake shall be decorated to her liking. In accordance with this, and just at the feet of this sweet couple, is written in large raised letters, "Whom God hath joined together let no man put asunder." " How impressive !" said Madame Junk to herself, as she viewed this cake with a complacent look. She regretted that the cake was not much larger, so that she could have the entire marriage ceremony written thereon. She would have copied it ver batim if there had been room. Madame Junk had written at least half-a-dozen marriage notices to be inserted in the leading journals the day after the wedding; but somehow she could not strike just the right thing. Whether she lacked the language or the power to arrange her high thoughts in a neat little pen-sketch is not known. If it had only been an epitaph, she would have found no difficulty whatever in making it come to time. "Yes," she thought to herself, "the head editor, or the editor with the biggest head, should write Larry O Doodle s marriage notice."- Madame Junk would interview the knight of the quill, and if there was anything elaborate in his brain she would have him spread it out in that marriage notice. She would have in serted, " Eastern papers please copy." The American Girl was kept busy these days carting good FIXING FOR THE WEDDING. 513 things from the city for the wedding. It is hoped that she will get a large slice of the cake, for she has done as much toward making it as any of them. Moreover, she has drawn all the messages to the city that have been sent. The Spludges have been invited, the Stanlys, Smiths and Mayos, and all the officers of the different charitable institutions in the city. Good Dr. S will perform the marriage cere mony, and it will be such a time as never was. Madame Junk will come in leaning on Larry O Doodle s arm, and the Senator will give the bride away; and she will look so lovely that he will almost wish he was Larry O Doodle. Who is the bride, did you say? Miss Josephine Blessing. Larry had been her pupil for a long time, and she will keep him in a school the rest of his natural lifetime a school for Benedicts, and some lunatics. Now, reader, don t blame Miss Blessing, and say you cannot for the life of you see how an educated young lady could marry an Irishman. You would have done the same in her place. Besides, I tell you Larry is good enough for her. "When a w T oman can never be thirty years old again, and has spent the last ten years waiting for a knight to put in an appearance, and he has failed to come, it is natural that she should take the one nearest at hand, provided he is within the bounds of reason. The Reformatory Home must be kept running, and who so competent as Mr. and Mrs. O Doodle? Madame Junk will become Matron in the Home for Vagrant Boys. All her thoughts have turned that way. It will be a comfort to leave the Reformatory Home in such hands. If Larry O Doodle was not Miss Blessing s highest ideal of a man, Miss Blessing was not Larry O Doodle s highest ideal of a woman; nor was she his first love. If we measure men s intellects by their powers of appreciation, we shall call Larry O Doodle a man of intellect. He who can com prehend great and noble works must needs have something of nobility within himself. We have no wish to disturb the 3: 514 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. feelings of Mr. Stanly, but Larry O Doodle had compre hended, a noblo woman. While Larry O Doodle was trying on his wedding-suit, the day before the wedding, Madame Junk was dressing Miss Josephine Blessing in the bride s costume. " There, dear, walk off there now. Stand there. Cast your eyes down. Complete! complete!" muttered Madame Junk to herself, at the same time stepping forward to twist an orange bud a little more to the front. She thought to herself it would be in bad taste for one of the descendants of Oliver Cromwell to be caught conducting a wedding improperly. Miss Blessing s wedding outfit had been made under the supervision of Madame Junk. All the stitches were laid as close together as possible; in short, they could not have been shorter. At last the happy day arrived. Larry had one wish, and that was that the Stanlys would not come; but they did, though, and that, too, full of happy congrat ulations, and a beautiful set of china for the bride. "By Jove!" said Senator Smith to Mr. Stanly, " it is a marvel to think that this man came here a few years ago a wandering tramp, and to think he has become a common- sense, good-looking fellow. He has an elegant figure. It is worth all Madame Junk s efforts to have redeemed this man if she had done nothing more." " Madame Junk has another reform question on the tapis, I believe," said Mr. Stanly. " Y-e-s," drawled the Senator, as if he would have in serted two or three words between the yes. " What do you think of it ?" "It is a question that should have been agitated long ago," replied Mr. Stanly. " Ah!" said the Senator, brightening up; " I am glad you think it worthy of consideration. I have a crotchet in my head." " Do you intend to give the world the benefit of it?" SHE FELT VERY STATELY. 515 " I shall make a great effort to have a "bill passed allowing an appropriation for the building of a hoine for vagrant boys. I can get the bill introduced; but the devil! I fear it will never pass. What does Congress care about our boys?" " I don t know about that. There are some men in Con gress who have not forgotten their own early struggles for education. They will remember that a little assistance would have helped them over many a thorny path, and made them useful men much earlier in life." "Great God!" said the Senator. "We, as a nation, should cultivate ourselves. The age and the field demand more men of knowledge than we can supply. None of our brightest minds are found in the higher walks of life. They come up, it is true; but the strength that is consumed by the struggle to get up might be used for better purposes. As carefully as we study the economy of other things, we should study the econom} r of time and of the strength of our people. Look at Vice-President Wilson. If we were, as a nation, kind to our own, he would have been in the field an active worker long before he was. Are brains at such a dis count that an ambitious young man should dig and delve the vigor of his youth out for a poor subsistence ? Half the fire within him is burnt out before he gets where he can do anything." The conversation was here interrupted by Madame Junk, who announced that the ceremony was about to take place. The Senator arose, laid the palms of his hands together, and pulled each end of his necktie, by way of preparation; for the next thing to getting married oneself, is in giving the bride away. The wedding guests hugged the walls of the parlor to make way for the bridegroom and Madame Junk, the bride and Senator Smith. Of course, this was a quiet wedding; but Madame Junk felt sufficiently stately for a much larger gathering. She felt the blood of Oliver Cromwell warm within her. She felt that, notwithstand- 516 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. ing the bride was lovely, she was the central figure, and so she should be. Was she not the instrument through which this result had been brought about ? The good Dr. S had said, "I pronounce } T OU man and wife/ when Madame Junk stepped forth, and not only kissed the bride, but the groom. Then there was a general kissing all around, and handing- in of congratulations. Then there was dinner, without wine, over which the good Dr. S asked an especial blessing for the bride, who had just lost her name of Blessing. So this most charitable wedding in this most charitable institution ended. The wedding trip would not extend beyond the five acres, and the honeymoon would be spent beneath the shady trees that Mrs. Catharine Stanly had helped to plant, and where, I doubt not, Larry will take his way between the rows of beautiful beans which a beautiful woman had taught him to grow, while she that was Josephine Blessing will bring up the rear. Let us hope that the file that walks between the rows of beans to a shady seat beneath the trees may leogthen. Madame Junk no sooner releases herself of one load than she buckles on another. There is one happy thought attend ing this: if the load is too heavy, she will always find easy subjects to harness up to do the pulling. Now she could rest safe. The Reformatory Home would be conducted by competent people. One of them had gone through the mill and been ground sufficiently fine to insure his placing new subjects in the hopper. It may not always be done with the same tenderness that Madame Junk evinced in times gone by, but it will be done as thoroughly, there is no doubt. Nominally, Larry O Doodle will be at the head of the heap. Madame Junk had her own ideas in regard to the new Home for Vagrant Boys. These views had not been disclosed to any one, not even to good Dr. S , who was her confidential adviser in all matters of a charitable nature. "When a gentle nudge was required to poke the congrega tion up to acts of benevolence, he was not slow to give it, MOTH EXTERMINATOR. 517 provided the demands were not exorbitant and did not come too frequently. Hence Madame Junk s silence. She in tended to do some laborious canvassing to raise the neces sary funds to carry out her great work. She would begin after the American Girl had finished her summer work. The American Girl was so gentle that there would be no danger in a gentle woman driving this gentle horse about on a gentle act of mercy. If Madame Junk had had the least inkling that Senator A. Goliah Smith intended introducing a bill, asking that Congress make an appropriation for this charitable enter prise, it would have saved the American Girl many steps, and Madame Junk much disquiet. But the Senator had a love of doing sly soft things in a charitable way, as well as Madame Junk, so they both went to work in their separate ways. Madame Junk vowed and declared that she would never ask the Government for another thing, since President U. S. Grant did not reply to her letter. She said she knew he could have contributed five dollars without endangering his finances. She said if our Government could pay forty thousand dollars for Moth Exterminator, they could do a little something for our boys. CHAPTEE LIX. A NATION OF POLITICAL SHARPERS HE WOULD KNOCK A MAN DOWN WHO SAID FAIL TONING SPECK UP A DEATH THE TRIAL THE AMERICAN GIRL TO BE TURNED OUT TO GRASS. r I ^HE winter was nearly gone, and Mr. and Mrs. Fletcher JL would return to California soon. Joel, by the earnest solicitation of many friends, Lad allowed himself to be put up as a candidate for Congress. Mr. Roen Fletcher had many misgivings about his son in that capacity. True, his study of law and his research after knowledge would enable him to fill the bill; at least, be would overtop many who now stood in the congressional halls. It was the taking of the unpopular side of almost every question that would play the mischief with him. The old gentleman was a firm believer in classes, and he would like that his son should follow in the footsteps of the illustrious F. F. V. s; but if the son regards the father as slightly old fogyish, and will do what he considers right, irrespective of Virginia, what is the father going to do about it? If he has common sense he will sit back and say: " Ah well! times are not as they used to be when I was a young man." Was there ever a man nominated for office who had not a competitor? If both men have too much dignity to indulge in petty bickerings, the party which they represent has not. Every party is largely made up of men who do not know any better than to call an opponent opprobrious names, and for no other reason than ho does not belong to their political side. Men who enact laws should be the A NATION OF POLITICAL SHARPERS. 519 first to obey them. Wo do not want men who punish others for a small grab, while they hold the strings of the grab-bag themselves, and shout to the crowd: " Stand back! you shan t have anything out of Uncle Sam s pocket. Are wo not the choice of the people? If you did not want us, \vhy did you elect us?" Now, our hero saw all this. It was a mighty problem that the people should themselves solve, and the only remedy that Joel saw w r as to educate the ignorant mass in the science of government; to bring them up to a compre hension of what should constitute a free Republican Govern ment; to show them they should receive something more than a drink of the " O-be-joyful" for a vote; to teach them the dignity of supporting a government; to show them how they ignorantly rob themselves, and that the free untram- rneled license of our land of liberty may become the worst form of monarchy. In Joel s mind this question had not sprung up like a mushroom over night; but he had reached his conclusions by careful observation. Senator Smith and Joel held lengthy discussions on this subject, not always agreeing, however; for the Senator was wont to say: "Yes, yes; if we could find men with the integrity which you claim to be essential, combined with brains, it would all be very well. " To bo a man of principle has fallen into disfavor. We have justly earned the name of being a nation of knaves." " But sharp ones," said the Senator, with a laugh. " Yes, a nation of political sharpers; and that is flung into our teeth by the foreign world. It is a cud wo must chew until we ha\e learned to relish a more palatable morsel." Halloo ! what is the matter ? Are you practicing a little oratory ?" said Albert Mayo, who came in unannounced. How do you do?" said Joel, shaking the gentleman cor dially by the hand. It seems to nie a hundred years since we met." 52O MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " "Well, it is a hundred days, and plenty long 1 enough to suit me. "What is the neatest and most appropriate thing to say to,a man in your boots? You know, Joe, I was al ways a downright failure in impromptu speech-making. The fact is, I would like to get off something kind of hand some on this occasion. Give us your hand, old boy. I am going my whole length on you ?" " That is hearty and friend-like. It is worth half a dozen lukewarm friends." Senator Smith arose, shook hands with Albert, and said he had a little business down town which claimed his attention. "Well, how did you find the old Virginia coon? Talk ing up your ancestors, eh ?" " Much the same as usual; but with his increase of years, I think his hobby-horse has grown larger. Still he strides it gracefully." " Was your debut at Washington heralded in with suffi cient pomp to suit old Virginia ?" " Well, I don t know. At all events I heard no com plaints. It was amusing to see the pride father took in my wife. He escorted her to all the receptions with a gallantry that would have suited a man of twenty-five." "How s the artist?" "She was in Switzerland the last we heard from her. She was in good health and spirits." " Glad to hear it," said Albert, his face changing color. " Well, Joe, that is the best thing any of us can do to keep in good spirits. Life is short, and if we don t make the best of it we are to blame. I am deuced glad that you have been making the best of yours by being nominated for Con gress on the right ticket." " I may fail." "Fail! fail!" roared the Hercules. "Who said fail? Why, the devil! I should as soon think the sun would fail to come up to-morrow morning as I should think you would THE TWO LONG-TRIED FRIENDS. 52! fail in being elected. True, you are rather young; but what of that ? Haven t you grown up with us ? Haven t we nursed our own ? Haven t we heard your speeches ? Don t we know all about your ability ? Haven t you done some of the best campaigning that was ever done in this State, or any other? Heavens and earth ! old Father Goliah would never have got his election in God s world but for you and Mother Junk! He knows it, and everybody knows it. You could do all that, as a mere boy, for somebody else, and then talk about failing, as a man, and that, too, for your self ! If I did not like you just as well as I do, I would shake you as an old cat does a mouse, just for your impu dence. Fail! fail, Joe Junk? I ll knock a man natter than a flounder that dares to breathe the word fail in my ears!" It was not often Joel laughed immoderately, but in this instance he leaned back in his chair and gave vent to his mirth in prolonged peals of laughter that fairly shook the furniture. He was not laughing so much at what his friend said as at the picture his own fancy drew. "Why, Albert! if my opponent only knew what a for midable enemy he had in the field, he would retire without the least contest. Just think of a man of your gigantic strength standing at the polls and taking every voter by the ear, demanding that he vote your ticket or you will make hash of him and swallow him in an instant. I think, with out a doubt, you would frighten him over to my side." "Well, there is no sure thing that I shall not do it, if I hear any more talk about failing." The two long-tried and sworn friends then drifted out upon general topics. Day by day Speck, or the new Koger Smith, was becom ing domiciled in his new home. The great and wondrous world was opening up to him. Of course, it could not be taken at one mouthful. He was becoming civilized as fast as his comprehension would allow. The Senator said to his daughter: "We must tone him up before we send him to 522 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. school." "What the Senator meant by toning him up was, that Roger must learn to keep his face and hands clean, and wipe his nose when it required that attention. But the daughter saw that something more was requisite. Roger must learn to speak the English language so that at least he could be understood. There was one thing she spared no labor in teaching him the importance of, and that was to speak the truth. It grieved her excessively to find that he had a large propensity for making stories, as the old saying goes, out of the whole cloth and relating them as facts. In a short time she had him in such subjection that when he began a bit of fiction she would say : "Roger, is that true ?" If it was not true, he did not say yes, but would drop his eyes under the mild reproof, feeling conscious that he had done wrong. It was thus that this patient young woman instilled truth into the mind of Speck, or Master Roger Smith. Day by day she saw him improve, and felt rewarded for her trouble. She was determined to establish a character in him before she trusted him in the hands of strangers. The two men who through Speck had been brought to justice were tried, condemned and sentenced to San Quen- tin for a term of years, Speck being the principal witness. Having been taught the nature of an oath by Mrs. Joel Fletcher, he gave his evidence creditably. Tom Splinter died before the time appointed for his trial. He made a full confession of all his bad deeds, and implicated ulicaught thieves. Madame Junk, during Tom Splinter s last days in jail, became a frequent visitor to her old haunts, and at each visit knelt in prayer, asking God s mercy for the soul of the sinner. Dear reader, let us hope it was answered. Tom Splinter died a true penitent. Madame Junk saw him de cently buried, with a neat little slab at his head, upon which was written an epitaph of her own composing, reading as follows: " Gathered to Thy fold at last." Mrs. Pictpink was sent to the State prison for a term of A NEW ROLE. 523 years. Having great faitli in Madame Junk s ability to do almost anything, she begged of that lady to use her influ- ence in getting a pardon; but in vain. Thus community was relieved for a time from the bad acts of a desperato character. Daring the campaign for Joel s election, Madame Junk was called before the public in a new role. If not entirely new, it was something she had not done since A. Goliali Smith was up for Congress the last time. Joel s opponents were not slow in trotting out all that was Junky in his early life. His opponent s organ wrote squibs over the word Junk. All this Madame Junk bore right manfully; said it mattered not if her name was Junk, she could boast of such progenitors as they could not. And so the scurrilous arti cles written by these fellows was borne with Christian forti tude. Her long life had been devoted to the benefit of the human family. She fervently prayed that God might grant her a few more years in which to complete the work she had undertaken. When she had seen a fine large institution erected, and in fine running order as a home for vagrant boys, she could die happy. The work she so many years ago began to write, upon " The Proper Propagation of the American Race," she knew would be completed. Mayhnp it was not so clearly drawn as she could wish; but the idea would be conveyed, and she would thus indirectly accom plish her task. More than all that, her far-seeing eye saw in the future some writer who would pick up his pen, and write upon the subject of " The Proper Propagation of the American Race/ 5 She, humble woman, would fain leave behind her some example for wise men to follow. She would die feeling that she had given birth to a large idea. She felt that, through her exertions, the question of reform- would be largely agitated. She felt that, even though Pres ident Grant took no notice of her letter, other men just as good as he is would; and when the President should come 524 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. to hear of her death (and she had no doubt he would), he would feel ashamed enough when he came to see how mer cenary he had been. " Joel/ said Madame Junk one morning, when Joel and his wife had driven out to make her a call, " you know something of my pet scheme ?" "Yes, mother," replied Joel, with a smile; " to know your pet schemes is to further them." "I am pleased that you understand them so well. I only hope you will define them more clearly by practical applica tion. There never was a time so opportune for working for God and humanity. Joel, you have been blessed. Because it is so, do not forget the unfortunate." " No, mother, while you live there will be no chance. Now that the subject is open, I have a request to make of you. I want you to turn the American Girl out to grass, and sit quietly here for a few months, or do anything you please. Go East, take a little journey in any direction you wish; but let charity alone. There are others who can carry through your pet schemes, and with far less labor than you can." Madame Junk removed her glasses, rubbed each eye with her handkerchief, and laid the palm of one hand over the back of the other which rested in her lap. She looked in tently at Joel for some moments without speaking. " AVhat do you mean, Joel ?" " Nothing more nor less than that I shall introduce a bill asking Congress to make an appropriation for the erection of a home for homeless vagabond boys/ Madame Junk grew white, while her breath came and went quickly. " Do you think it will pass ?" " Without a doubt." Madame Junk laid her long thin hands together, and raised them to heaven. " O God! out of the fullness of thy heart Thou hast A WOMANLY WOMAN. 525 answered my prayer." She arose softly, and walked to the opposite side of the room, where Joel sat. She laid her hand upon his head, as she used to when he was a boy, and said, " You are what I always knew you would be." "Well, well, mother/ said Joel, a little nervously. " I give you my word to do all I can. But you have not granted my request." " What was it, Joel?" " Why, to turn the American Girl out to grass." Madame Junk uttered a prolonged o-h ! "You placed so much stress upon it I was quite deceived. Why, certainly! The American Girl shall have a rest." I think it is quite time. I do not believe there is another horse in California that has done such an amount of chari table work as the American Girl. If she is not entitled to roam the green fields, I don t know who is; and just in pro portion as the American Girl needs rest, so do you." At this last word a low rap was heard at the door, and Larry O Doodle handed in the mail. Among the letters was one from Switzerland. This was first opened and read with eager eyes. It announced Sternna s intention of re turning to America. Notwithstanding Madame Junk was delighted at the thought of seeing her, yet her mind, through force of habit, began to harness up the gifted artist to help draw the new Home. Yes, indeed, she could not come at a more favorable time. Carrie wept tears of joy at the thought of having her beloved friend near her once more. Then she had a great and important secret to tell her such a secret as woman s love for woman can sympa thize with. There had never been a time when her heart so yearned for the kind counsel of this noble soul. To Sternna she could open her whole heart; to her she could talk without reserve of the coming event. The announcement of Sternna s return created quite a furore. When the Senator heard of it he expressed himself thus: 526 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " I thought so. It is all very well for a time; but when a person has been "Brought up in America, as it were, I can tell yon what it is, they like to come back." The Senator sat in his easy-chair, looking at some red coals in the grate. Every little while he smiled, as if he saw something in the coals that pleased him. " Father, you look greatly pleased. Suppose you give us the benefit of your thoughts," said the daughter. " Why, Carrie, I was thinking how that little tot looked the first time I saw her." " How did she look, father? Tell us all about it." "You saw the picture she painted of herself the one Mother Junk has?" " Yes. I always thought it was an extravagant sort of a fancy sketch." " No, indeed; it is complete. It could not have been better. I think she could about wear those shoes now. Ah! how time flies. It seems but a day or two since Mother Junk came into my office leading Cinderella by the hand. Look at her now an accomplished woman. Tut! tut! it is these things that tell a man how old he is." CHAPTEE LX. D. D. SPLUDGE GATHERED TO HIS FATHERS BY PROXY HE WILLS TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS TO THE POOR MRS. SPLUDGE PLEASED WITH THE APPROVAL OF THE PEOPLE. EOEGE GEEGOEY GLEWEE was now full-fledged. He was a stanch, steady, straightforward business man. Those bad boys that punished him so unmercifully at school were nobodies. Maybe their mothers were no bodies before them. George Gregory Glewer was a good little boy, and he has made a good big man. If he lacks that Yankee snap which is characteristic of the greater por tion of our business men, he has sufficient to run the hard ware trade. In our first reference to him we did not design to go into details. We only intended to remark that of all the delighted friends who would welcome Sternna back to America, there was none whose heart palpitated over this event as did George s. No one dreamed he was in love with the young woman except his adopted mother, who resorted to many delicate ways of reminding him that it was a hope less love, and that he must try and overcome his feelings and love some one who could return his affection. " Poor Mrs. Spludge," was what the sympathizing old ladies of the neighborhood said one morning, after the an nouncement of Mr. Spludge s death. " Poor woman!" It is little better than a year since that lady was led to the altar by the well-known attorney-at-law. There is a wide difference between an old maid and a widow. D. D. Spludge (527) 528 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. left a will dividing all his property between his wife and daughter. It consisted of many, many thousands in real estate and moneys, a fact which undoubtedly consoled Mrs. Spludge to his being thus taken away. If she had been cast out upon the world again at her time of life, we very much fear her grief would be of a more distressing nature. As it is, there is an opportunity for the old sign to be veri fied; i. <?., that two wrinkles between the eyes denote two husbands. The one unrepresented wrinkle will be backed up by a fair fortune; and if there is any sign that money won t prove the fallacy of, it should be forever cast out of every well-regulated old lady s calendar of signs. Madame Junk was one of the first to offer Mrs. Spludge her sympathy, and throw in any little suggestion that oc curred to her. Most delicately this good woman reconnoitred Mrs. Spludge s feelings to ascertain if it would be the least satisfaction to Mrs. Spludge for Madame Junk to appear in black at the funeral, and to sit with the mourners, which, in truth, were so limited in number that it would seem a charity for most any one to make such an offer. Madame Junk was perfectly delighted to find that it accorded with the new widow s feelings. Mrs. Spludge is no exception in these things; for where in all the world is there a woman who does not like to see a long line of mourners at her hus band s funeral. Doubtless, had it been the custom, of our country, she would have hired a small army of weepers. She thought of it as it was; but her lack of confidence in the American people made her cast the thought aside. She thought, in case she did, out of respect to her husband, hire a few mourners, ten to one they would get to laughing, and make the whole thing ridiculous. These American people do so lack in dignity. Mrs. Spludge called to mind any number of instances where she had seen such people, taking a free ride in carriages paid for by the relatives of the de ceased, laughing and chatting and telling stories all the way. By the appearance of the rear carriages, you would actually NOTHING LEFT TO THE ^OOR. 529 suppose it was a pleasure-party rather than a funeral. We, as Americans, should not attempt to gainsay this, for it is a glaring truth. The funeral of David Delight Spludge passed off very much as other funerals do. There was a reasonable con course of people, who gathered to pay the last sad rites to a mail who in life had more crotchets than usually fall to the lot of man. The good Dr. S said, in his eulogy of him, that he was a law-abiding citizen, and he was; but the good Dr. S might have added, with truth, that Lawyer Spludge had been fortunate in forever finding the law on his side, as the former owners of ten-acre lots could truth fully attest. D. D. Spludge not only understood laws, but flaws, and for the latter he had been a stickler. It was by his knowledge of flaw r s that he amassed a fortune. More over, he had always been a regular attendant at good Dr. S s church, and quite a liberal contributor for all char itable purposes. There were some though, when they saw his name upon the charitable list, mean enough to mutter something about robbing Peter to pay Paul. D. D. Spludge had ever managed to keep on the popular side of all politi cal questions, and also in religion. We know, and the world knows, that when a man dose that he is tolerably safe. The kind acts, and good deeds, and benevolent im pulses of our lives we sometimes leave to be fulfilled by others. As it is said to be possible to pray souls out of Purgatory, so can friends wash a little of the smut off from a black name after death. It may be done by setting to rights the wrongs one has done during a lifetime. Those wrongs may be past itemizing, but they may be lumped, to use a business phrase. Some great good may thus indirectly be done for humanity in general by those who failed to do their duty while living. The Widow Spludge has much that is noble in her nature. "When the will had been read, and from this vast fortune no penny had been left for the poor, her face crimsoned. 34 53O MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. Mrs. Spludge conferred with Madame Junk with closed doors. The widow expressed regrets at what she termed her husband s thoughtlessness. "Let us see," said Madame Junk, " what can be done to correct his mistake. If you feel so disposed, you can give a portion of your fortune for benevolent purposes/ " But can I do it in his name? I wish the world to un derstand that it was his desire his wish." Both of these truthful women were oblivious to the fact that this would be a downright falsehood, so imbued were they w 7 ith the idea of having David Delight Spludge honored on earth and glorified in heaven. " Do you think his daughter will agree with us?" " I think she will," replied Madame Junk. " Do you think Joel would advise us?" "Without a doubt." For a few days there was a buzzing about mysterious documents. At last community was perfectly stunned overwhelmed as it were when the announcement was made that D. D. Spludge had left ten thousand dollars for chari table purposes, and a portion of it was for the erection of a Home for Vagrant Boys, and another portion was for Asy lums for Old Ladies and Orphans. In certain quarters there were more mutterings. Some said it was the least he could do, for he had robbed more than one orphan. Mrs. Spludge was pleased that through her Mr. Spludge had been called before the curtain and applauded as a philan thropist. It was not a little gratifying, as she was moving in her mourning weeds, to hear on every side: " How be nevolent! How philanthropic! "Well, he was always a quiet man. No one could find out anything of his intentions." Such and such were the comments. The good Dr. S , in referring to him in his next Sabbath sermon, caused not a few of the congregation to use their pocket handkerchiefs. These pious ladies never for one instant thought they had been guilty of a fraud. In their religious fervor they are GOOD-BY TO SCOTLAND. 53! willing to soil their white garments by seeking to erase the dark spots on the lives of others. If it is a fraud, it is a justifiable one. Old Rory, the faithful servant to the Earl of Bc Clue, has passed from the scenes of life. He lived until the good old age of ninety. His remains lie beneath the sod of his own native land. Sternna s eyes grow moist when she looks upon the head of her " Douce David Deans." She cherishes the memory of this faithful heart with feelings of gratitude. "When Rory no longer lived, Scotland grew wearisome to her; and when she returned there after a long interval, she resolved to return to America. She longed to meet old friends. Of all those who loved her most there were few missing. She would gather the daisies and buttercups on the plains of the Far AVest. She would talk with the red men, and with pencil and brush would transfer them to canvas to delight the people of the Old World. Many and varied were her plans as she bade adieu for a time to her friends in Scotland. She would return to America not only with a widespread fame as an artist, but as the wealthy heiress of a royal house; a lady who, if her blood does run blue, is American in all her sympathies and cosmopolitan in her views, who will never meet misery and poverty, how ever abject, without feeling for and relieving it, if possible. A part of this angelic nature she owes to her own experi ence and goodness of heart, and a part of it to the training of Madame Junk and Miss Busy. CHAPTER LXI. THE ELECTION A SPEECH A FUNERAL A BIRTH THE ARRIVAL THE TWO EPITAPHS; ONE FOR THE DEAD AND ONE FOR THE LIVING. T GEL S campaign was attended with the usual clamor ^_J known only to such occasions. His friends were con fident that he would win the day. Albert Mayo would stump the State for him. He was but a poor orator at best, but the deep heartfelt interest imbued his hearers with something of his own enthusiasm. He related to them how he had known Joel from a boy; he dwelt at length upon his honesty and truth. He usually closed up his speeches with: " My fellow citizens, if we elect this man to Congress he will be a credit to us all," and then he would bring down his fist with a thump that sent all the ladies who went to hear him home with the headache. (A voice from the crowd: " He is the son of an old Southerner.") And the speaker hurled over the heads of the people, and back into the teeth of the intruder, these words: "Our candidate is the son of the people ! He is a son that every true-born American man and woman should be proud of;" and the speaker came very near adding, " He is the son of God;" but remembering that God had but one son, he knew it would not do. Correcting the thought, he rendered it with this difference: " He is a son whom God has built up for His people." All through this political contest Joel was as calm and collected as if he were a disinterested party. When the battle was over, and he found himself elected by a large (532) SMILING ALL ROUND. 533 majority, his feelings began to react. The whirl and ex citement of the hour brought with it a retrospect. He recalled his past life, and there was not one step of it that he did not in his heart bless God for. He saw the great Providence in his having been cast out from his natural home. Had he been reared beneath the family tree, his life would have been less rich in experience, his knowledge of men and things more limited. He also understood that one should know something of the worst side of life, in order to appreciate the best side. If his lines had not always been cast in pleasant places, it was well to know the exist ence of such places. As for Madame Junk, it Avas the proudest day in all her life. Her joy knew no bounds. Had she been under no restraint, we very much fear she would have rushed out and clone some such unladylike thing as to take a smile with the crowd, who, in truth, were smiling all round. The only thing she did do which looked out of the way, was to take the American flag, rush to the door, and wave it violently over her head and cry: "Victory is ours! The Union forever!" with a faint hurrah, which was almost drowned by the crowing of Larry O Doodle s rooster, who no doubt thought that his cock-a-doodle-do was appropriate, inasmuch as he could not smile. Sternna arrived amid a large gathering of people who were in front of Senator Smith s house. They were calling loudly for our hero and "a speech! a speech!" It was with great effort the carriage could make its way to the gate. "Ah, Papa! Sternna has come; run quick." The Senator rushed clown the walk bare-headed, the wind playing with his white hairs. AVith this stately lady lean ing on his arm he retraced his steps. Sternna had just time to ask why all these people were gathered, when a shout went up, and "Welcome! welcome back to America!" rang out upon the air. The Senator whispered, " Joel is elected, and they are calling for a speech." 534 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " Let him make it before lie sees me." Joel appeared in a niche just over the door, which led into the main hall. In looking up from the ground it would seem as though he was held there by invisible hands, for you could not see what he stood upon. Cheer upon cheer greeted him; the band of music played "Lo, the conquer ing hero comes." The dark ornamental work of this niche contrasted with his pale face. He addressed the people in calm, dignified language. He spoke of his hopes for our nation; he asked the people, to support him in retrieving our name; he would have the name we so justly merited of being a corrupt government washed clean. The young man warmed with his speech. He told his hearers that it was the voice of the people that controlled the nation. " It is for you to say if our name shall be handed down to genera tions yet to come, fair and untarnished. Let every man study the history of politics, and he will find that we are retrograding in place of advancing. Every man to the work! Let the foundation of our platform be honesty. I tell you again it is the voice of the people who build our platforms and place the rulers of our nation thereon. A man who will sell his vote would sell his soul. Your prin ciples should be worth more than money. Let money have no weight in electing men to make laws for you. A man who will buy you will sell you; and a man who can be bought is a piece of merchandise, and fit only to sell again. (A voice from the crowd : " It is a dirty bird that befouls his own nest. Has the stripling forgotten how his ow r n father- in-law won his election a number of years ago ?") Joel s voice swelled and vibrated until it reached the most distant ear in the crowd. " Irrespective of party, irrespective of man, irrespective of kith or kin, I ask all who are blindly ignorant to open their eyes. No longer pin your faith upon the coat-sleeves of moneyed men. Let the men whom you support come to you recommended by honesty and firm principles. Let JOEL S SPEECH. 535 them be men wliose whole souls are absorbed in the inter ests of our country; not men whose time is consumed by looking after their own individual interests. Do you sup pose that these men who have millions to care for, and in vest in such ways as will bring millions in return for such investments, are imbued with the desire to improve our government ? The interest of the people should be their interest, the welfare of the country their highest aim. Am I unreasonable in showing you things in their true light ? I say again, that not until you support men from the stand point of right, shall we, as a nation, grow in good, progress in knowledge, and retrieve what our forefathers so gallantly fought for, and so nobly won." With a low bow, he van ished, amid the prolonged cheering of the people. When Joel stepped within the room, the Senator was blowing his nose, and switching his handkerchief about his face. He held his hand out, and grasped Joel s. " You hit me like the devil, Joe; but I am proud of you, my boy, and I can well say this is the happiest hour of my life. Come below. We have a particular friend, who has come to pay us a long visit." Joel was silent. He thought he knew who it was. He stepped into the drawing-room, and the stately lady arose, and placed her arms about him. " Joel! my brother! Joel, let me be the first to say, God bless thee, my dear brother." Joel embraced Sternna, and kissed her on one cheek, and she turned to him the other also. "Joe, you will be what we have all wished and hoped you would be." Carrie was so overcome that she retired to her mother s room, who was now a confirmed invalid. Mrs. Fletcher s first congratulations to her husband should be when they were alone. Her feelings were too intense to be exposed even to her father and Sternna. Madame Junk, half wild with the events of the day, rushed upon the scene of action. 536. MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. Sternna greeted her Mother Junk with the tenderness of a real daughter. Congratulations began pouring in from all over the country. A gentleman remarked to Albert Mayo : A body would think that old Groliah s family and the Junks thought that to be a Congressman was the biggest thing extant." "Oh, the devil!" said Albert. "The joke don t end here. We will elect Joe Junk for the next President." " Yes, it would be just like this party s tomfoolery," said an old Democrat; " when the Republican party get to going they run everything into the ground." Madame Junk had often said that no Democrat was born right. " Not by a good deal. Our train is running the other way. We leave the underground business for you fellows, who are at home there, and always will be." Emotional events sometimes follow each other in rapid succession. The hue and cry of Joel s election had not more than abated, when a mighty shadow fell athwart the Senator s door. Death intruded within the domain, and summoned its victim to come forth from the busy scenes of life. The election was attended with pomp, and so was the fuDeral of Mrs. Amos Goliah Smith. "What a pity," all the old ladies remarked, "that she could not have lived to see her beautiful little grand daughter!" -which was born three days after her death. Madame Junk was the only grandmother who officiated at the birth, and she was equal to any three grandmothers. Her knowledge of these things was unlimited. She knew just how warm the bath should be, just how tight and how warm the clothing should be, and all the other little details attending such an event. We reyret that we have not a marriage with which to finish this chapter. We hope no reader will be so unreason able as to expect us to marry Senator Smith in this chapter, for we cannot consistently do it. Our sense of what we WE CANNOT MAKE A WEDDING. 537 deem to be right forbids it. The Senator s life has been saddened by the death of his wife, but cheered by the tiny life which takes him back to the hour when first he looked upon the face of his granddaughter s mother. Joel is all activity in preparing to leave for Washington, whither his wife and child, Sternna and his father-in-law, will follow him in a short time. Speck has been sent to a good Chris tian boarding-school, where he is progressing finely. His love of ham has somewhat abated, although he takes kindly to a slice now and then, provided it is garnished with eggs. Speck is very human in those things. Roen Fletcher has been in a quiver ever since his son s election. He never takes up a paper without visible signs of emotion. Mrs. Fletcher is quiet; all the mother s heart is alive to the in terest and honor of her child. She longs to clasp her little granddaughter in her arms and imprint upon its cheek a kiss of love. Mr. Fletcher s only regret is that it is not a boy. He wanted the name of Fletcher perpetuated; but then he tells his wife that there is time enough there will 110 doubt be a little army of boys after a while. The day prior to our friends departure for Washington, Madame Junk poked her forefinger through the button-hole of the Senator s coat and said: "Don t forget that appro priation bill. Keep Joel warm on the subject. Nudge up every one you can to vote for it. You see we have a largo amount to begin with. I tell you what it is, Senator Smith, that thing is to be the very corner-stone of reform, both in politics and religion; and when the people wake up to a realizing sense of their duty, we shall not be so corrupt as a nation." " By the way, mother" (the Senator had of late called Madame Junk mother), " I suppose you know that I intend to give that five thousand dollars I offered for the appre hension of those thieves?" No, she did not; and she was perfectly astounded at tho announcement. "But the boy! I thought the boy would have that?" 538 MADAME JANE JUNK AND JOE. " I will look out for the boy; he shall have enough. Do you know, mother, that this very boy was the one who proved to me that we should have such a home? So you may, in reality, thank him for my contribution. So hunt up your ground and begin operations. You must have at least ten acres. Mind, we are not to have any tumble-down affair, but an edifice that will stand for all time to come." " And I shall name it for you/ 3 "No, mother, you won t. I object. Let it be called a Home of Reform for Vagrant Boys. Rest, mother, rest. Let younger people take our places." Everything is being arranged to Madame Junk s satisfac tion. Joel took his seat in Congress and was not long in winning all hearts. Sternna opened a studio in "Washing ton for a few months only, for she designs, returning to Europe. She was much courted and greatly admired. She would be considered a rich find, provided she could be pre vailed upon to be found. Such were the speculations of more than one enterprising young gentleman of society. Mrs. Joel Fletcher one day astonished society by announc ing herself the authoress of a book called "The Proper Propagation of the American Race." Of course, it had a run; for Mrs. Joel Fletcher was the fashion, as young and good-looking women, with plenty of money, always are. There were a few conservative prudes that thought the ideas which the book contained ^rather advanced, and not quite the right thing for a lady of her position; but the greater portion of the public said that the world would be the bet ter for it. Larry O Doodle still runs the Home for Reforming De praved Humanity, while Madame Junk superintends the Reformatory Home for Vagrant Boys. It is pronounced a success by some of the ablest minds in the country. Speck will have a college course; and as the Senator has a passion for making lawyers, we presume Speck will have that profession, and never forget that he was once a cabin A LIVING MONUMENT. 539 passenger on a sea voyage. The Senator is a hale, hearty old man, and spends some time hunting bad boys, to be grown into good men. God bless him ! May he live many a long year," is our toast when we drink his health. Our Hercules is following in the footsteps of his illustrious predecessors writing books; but with this exception, they are side-splitters, and generally are burlesques on our Gov ernment. Madame Junk has lived to realize all her highest hopes, both for her son Joe and herself. Feeling that she should not live many years longer, she set about writing her own epitaph. Being a particular friend of that lady, it has been our privilege to peruse it. We trust she will forgive us for giving it to the world before it appears upon her tombstone : HERE RESTS THE BODY OF A WOMAN WHO LOVED TRUTH FOR TRUTH S SAKE. SHE DIED BLESSING AND HOPING TO MEET ALL EARTH IN HEAVEN. As she has written an epitaph to be placed upon her tombstone after death, we will write an inscription to be placed upon a living monument : " Here stands Joel Fletcher, an honest statesman, a man who works with untiring zeal for the good of all God s creation." 14 DAY USE RETURN TO DESK FROM WHICH BORROWED LOAN DEPT. This book is due on the last date stamped below, or on the date to which renewed. Renewed books are subject to immediate recall. 27Aug 65AA REC DLD i>P|<" u ~ ^ ^ rff Mi<*j* fl t|T * 55?* reCaA I JtHTpJLD Wtwll/n >^K|-/lML H * / U fHJ>r 1 Due er.cl of SPRING Qi srter hlAY 1 6 ; 72 4 ^ subject to recall arte r T REC OLD MAY 1 & 72 -10 AM 6 !ADD O Q 1QA9 I MAR 2 4 1983 3^ nrTTI APR 1 2 19B2 |dff-p- r\rTi *- rec d cm. APR 2 8 1983 Gcncrsl L-Ibrsry U. C. BERKELEY LIBRARIES