■i 
 
 MMWMMMMMRNMtMi
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE 
 
 OF 
 
 LOS 
 
 UNIVERSITY 
 CALIFORNIA 
 ANGELES
 
 c ^J
 
 " The Imp of Mischief obtrudes the board, and obstructs Ezekiel's 
 vision. — See pages 28 and 31.
 
 THE MISHAPS 
 
 o? 
 
 Mr. EZEKIEL PELTER. 
 
 ILLUSTRATED, 
 
 THIRD EDITION. 
 
 CHICAGO: 
 S. C. GRIGGS AND COMPANY 
 
 . 1875-
 
 Entered according to act of Congress, in the year 1874, ^V 
 S. C. GRIGGS & COMPANY, ^ 
 
 in the office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington, D. C, 
 All Rights Reserved.
 
 PR 
 
 /S'7S 
 
 Preface. 
 
 The author of this volume proposes^ simply, through 
 itnaginary persons and a succession of anmsitig situa- 
 tions, to expose certain social errors ; an attempt amply 
 justified by authentic precedents, and the knozvti existence 
 anw7ig us of characters and associatians like those herein 
 presented. 
 
 The Satire — if it is so regarded — will be found, 
 in its ENTIRETY, to be free from reflection upon any 
 legitimate and consistent organization for charity or good 
 works ; and its spirit, if considered from the sta?idpoint 
 of the writer, and as he conceived it, cannot offend the 
 most fastidious admirer of Christianity and good morals. 
 
 The Autpior. 
 
 1703923
 
 LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS. 
 
 "The Imp of Mischief obtrudes the board, and 
 
 OBSTRUCTS Ezekiel's VISION," - . - Frontispiece. 
 
 "The lingering, loving accent touched his 
 
 NOBLE heart," 2g 
 
 "Imtetuous in his zeal, he fell upon his knees 
 
 before this new object of his solicitude," 67 
 
 " Ezekiel was standing by the wash-tub, and 
 
 perspiring in the rising steam," . . 85 
 
 "He's got another tio^T-man," ... gg 
 
 "xMr. Pelter slyly made a motion with his 
 thumb in the direction of the laughing 
 Julia," - - - 113 
 
 " She retreated looking back, and smiling as 
 
 she went to a sleeping room," - - - 153 
 
 "Are you John's friend?" .... i^g 
 
 " He blew such a blast as nearly shook the 
 
 windows in their frames," .... ig5 
 
 Mr. Pel'ier as a star, .... - 215 
 
 •'She how she keeps her eyes upon us," - - 225 
 
 "She threw herself upon him, and hung upon 
 
 his neck," ...--.- 247
 
 CONTENTS 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 Some Flowers from a Moral Garden; and their Separate 
 Scents — And showing how they color and perfume 
 the Actors in these Chronicles, - - Page 17 
 
 CHAPTER IT. 
 
 John, the Unregenerate, is mistaken for the pious Joseph ; 
 and he appears before the Missionary Board — He 
 fascinates the Emotional Member, and tells her of 
 the Idol Worshipers — Mr. Pelter tries to nip a Pois- 
 onous Flower, and suffers for his Vigilance — The 
 Moral Paragon and living proof of Charity is himself 
 subjected to suspicion, _ _ _ Page ^^ 
 
 11
 
 12 CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 Mr. Pelter as the Christian Soldier of the Board — He 
 exposes what seemed to be the infidelity of Jo- 
 seph, and forms a league with Rachel to protect 
 his Lamb — Joseph is perplexed by Rachel's jeal- 
 ousy ; and he confirms suspicion by denying her 
 impeachment — Pelterian sympathy in a curious 
 attitude ; while offering his " boo-som " to the in- 
 jured wife, the unexpected husband hastens his 
 ungraceful exit from the house — Mr. Pelter in 
 Despond — No more, for him, the sweet and cheap 
 delights of Charity — His " Cross " instructs him in 
 a new employment, - - - _ Page ^o 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 Mr. Pelter's nimbus is shaded for a while, but his 
 Virtues dissipate the Shadows, and lead him from 
 Despond — Now, from a higher niche, his bland- 
 ness beams upon the Board — Miranda tramples 
 on her broken Idol, only to be crushed by her 
 new Divinity — Joseph is proved to have been 
 where, in fact, he never had been, and this in- 
 creases his perplexity — Mr. Pelter is again a 
 Joss; all spangled with Miranda's tears of pen- 
 itence, --_-__ Page ^p
 
 CONTENTS. 13 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 Mr. Pelter and Miranda encounter a suspicious " Woo- 
 man " — He follows her, and is shocked by his 
 Discoveries — He makes other observations, on a 
 dark unlucky night, and falls into a curious trap 
 — He enters the " Abode of Sin ; " and escapes, 
 begrimed and battered, but with Convincing 
 
 Proof, __-_--. Page 98 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 Mr. Pelter feels a vacuum — He tells Rachel of a 
 New Discovery, and cannot comfort her — Joseph 
 finds an unexpected ally in Ezekiel's " Cross ; " and 
 Rachel is confounded by his discoveries. Page 123 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 Mr. Pelter and Joseph's wife concoct an artful and 
 successful plan — Joseph wrestles with tempta- 
 tion, and finally eludes a dangerous enchantress 
 — He escapes one danger, to fall into another 
 with the jealous Rachel — Julia is amazed by what 
 she sees from her chamber window ; it has a 
 strange, suspicious look, and is rendered stranger 
 Still by what the servants say, - Page 144
 
 14 CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 John is mystified by Julia's curious fancies ; and the 
 Imp of Discord plays havoc in the house — 
 Julia resorts to Mr. Pelter to settle her perplex- 
 ities ; and he confounds her by his disclosures — 
 John takes counsel on his wife's insanity ; and 
 nerves himself for a fight with Death, Page i6i 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 Julia marshals all her fancies in a ghostly line, and 
 drives them from her brain — Mr. Pelter falls into 
 another trap — His rakish look provokes the ser- 
 vants' merriment, and he solemnly reproves them 
 for their levity — The Sheriff takes him to the City 
 Prison; where he becomes a shining Star, Page 1 88 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 Julia sees the White-faced Woman, and hears again 
 the Monstrous Charge — Rachel encounters John 
 in the lobby of the theater — He takes the 
 bridle from his tongue, and lets his Fury fly — 
 Joseph watched and waited for his absent wife ; 
 but she did not come — He asked for bread, and 
 received a stone, - _ _ _ page 219
 
 CONTENTS. 15 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 Joseph at last finds Rachel ; but he finds her furi- 
 ous — She tries to punish, and, when too late, 
 repents — She becomes another woman; and be- 
 gins to grow in Charity, - - - Page 236 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 Joseph surprises Mr. Pelter in the City Prison — Mrs. 
 Pelter takes the lash, and expounds a new the- 
 ology — Ezekiel leaves the Moral Heights and 
 browses in the Valley of Humiliation, Page 252 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 Mrs. Pelter visits Rachel — A Doubting Member works 
 a reformation in the Board — By lopping off its 
 nose, she destroys its love of scents — Joseph 
 finds a Brother; and Mrs. Pelter finds a Key — 
 The last perplexity explained; and the curtain 
 
 drops, ------ Page 268
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 FLOWERS FROM A MORAL GARDEN, AND THEIR 
 
 SEPARATE SCENTS. 
 
 There are men yet living in New York, who 
 will remember, if properly reminded, " Old Israel 
 Smith;" unless his modest etchings "on the 
 sands of time" have been washed away by the 
 shifting currents of our social and commercial life. 
 
 Smith is a very common name ; but Israel Smith 
 is not so common. 
 
 If Israel could have known to what strange mis- 
 takes such a common name as Smith would lead, 
 without some prcenomen more uncommon, he never 
 would have named his children John and Joseph. 
 But he did so name them, and their strange ex- 
 periences — or some of them — form the cocoon 
 from which the author weaves the following story. 
 
 The boys were twins. So alike were they in per- 
 sonal appearance, that even among familiar friends 
 one was often mistaken for the other. Their 
 likeness was not a general resemblance simply, 
 leading to occasional mistakes in their identity ; 
 
 17
 
 18 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 it was a 'perfect likeness, to the eye of ordinary- 
 observation, and to nice perceptions a distinction 
 was found difficult. Even by their parents — when 
 the boys were not together — John was often 
 miscalled " Joe," and Joseph " John." 
 
 When they were together^ it was possible to 
 observe such a difference in expression, as to give 
 to each his own identity; but this was not so 
 marked as to be observed when they were apart. 
 
 If, to any one, a resemblance so exact seems un- 
 natural, or opposed to the common observation of 
 mankind, we prove the doctrine of exceptions by 
 this well-authenticated fact: and the fact is per- 
 fectly consistent with proper analogic reasoning. 
 
 All of us have seen twin-born children bear- 
 ing some resemblance to each other; and some of 
 us have seen such a resemblance as confuses a 
 casual observer. If, then. Nature, in well-known 
 cases, so approaches an exact similitude, is it not 
 reasonable to suppose that, in instances exceptional, 
 Nature may so fashion twins as to make the re- 
 semblance perfect? 
 
 But, independent of all reasoning, we have the 
 fact; and that, for us, is all-sufficient. 
 
 They had their father's features; and his were 
 of that sober order, usually employed by sancti- 
 monious spirits in making what is called " God- 
 fearing men." Why pattern men are called 
 " God-fearing," rather than '' God-loving," is only
 
 FLOWERS FROM A MORAL GARDEN. 19 
 
 comprehended by lugubrious souls. Israel was a 
 pattern man : that is, he made long prayers, with 
 one eye open to our fleshly wants. 
 
 As the boys grew up, they developed dispo- 
 sitions most wnlike ; and this, to Israel, was a 
 perpetual " cross." 
 
 " If John could only be like Joseph ! " was 
 his pious exclamation, always ended by a pious 
 sigh, when the boys were mentioned in his pres- 
 ence. 
 
 Joseph was familiar with the history of that 
 Bible character for whom he had been named; 
 and he said — whatever may have been his 
 thought — that if the wife of another Potiphar 
 should try Mm with lascivious charms, lie would 
 prove a Joseph in his virtue, as he was in name. 
 
 John was the object of solicitude and prayer : 
 he was the "bad boy" — the unregenerate — and 
 his solemn visage was a mask, behind which 
 laughed perennial Fun. 
 
 He was much about the wharves, and listened 
 with enthusiasm to graphic pictures of the "perils 
 of the deep," of genial climes where Summer is 
 perpetual, and where Oriental charms grace sensu- 
 ous pleasures. 
 
 Joseph sometimes went with John, and he found 
 a fund of entertainment in the strange enchant- 
 ments of the sea. He listened with attentive ear 
 to stories of untutored savages, in islands far
 
 20 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 away, and of how they lived in the supreme con- 
 tentment of their own simplicity. His pious ardor 
 was aroused, and he was all impatience to plant, 
 in such a fruitful soil, the seeds of discord and 
 dogmatic disputation. 
 
 " What a field for missionary work ! " was 
 Israel's commentary, as Joseph told the stories 
 o'er. 
 
 Each of the boys began, unconsciously, to pre- 
 figure in his mind the coming years ; and, before 
 they were old enough for any actual service, they 
 made their mimic voyages in their mother's wash- 
 tub. When they had reached a proper age, Israel 
 found them places, on different vessels ; each for 
 a lengthy voyage: Joseph — the pride of Israel's 
 heart — for the South Pacific; and John — the un- 
 regenerate — for the glamours of the Orient. 
 
 After this, for thirty years, they roved the 
 seas; and during all that time they did not see 
 each other. They made occasional returns to the 
 family home, but, it so happened, their visits were 
 at different times. 
 
 About ten years after the boys had shipped as 
 nascent tars, the good man Israel, on a bed of 
 sickness, began to make the final footings in the 
 ledger of his life, that he might find a proper 
 balance to show ag^ainst the unseen book of the 
 world to come. He must have found the balance 
 favorable, for, with a complacent smile, and with-
 
 FLOWERS FROM A MORAL X^ARDEN. 21 
 
 out a murmur or regret, lie left a benediction 
 in the flitting air, and gave up the ghost. 
 
 His wife had gone before him ; and, being 
 ever faithful, perhaps she had gone to sweep and 
 garnish, mth celestial fingers, in the promised 
 house, as, for many years and with flagging 
 strength, she had swept and garnished in the 
 house of Mundus, against the time of Israel's 
 coming. 
 
 With the snapping of these cords of life, the 
 connecting link between John and Joseph Smith 
 was also snapped. Neither knew, with certainty, 
 where the other could be found ; and they soon 
 discovered that there were so many other John 
 and Joseph Smiths that the common name was 
 like another sea to them, and they were merged 
 in it. 
 
 When rain-drops fall, from clouds surcharged, 
 they patter on our shingles with their separate 
 beats ; but when they fall upon the sea they 
 give no separate sounds, and only serve to swell 
 the mighty roar which swallows them. For 
 Israel's shingles, these boys each had his sepa- 
 rate sound ; but when plunged in the nea of 
 Smiths, they soon were wholly lost, and not so 
 much as a phosphorescent glimmer marked where 
 they had fallen. 
 
 At the date of the following incidents, years 
 had passed since either had received a word of
 
 22 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 information in relation to the other, and neither 
 knew that the other was alive. 
 
 Both of them were saving of their money; and 
 they improved each opportunity to increase the 
 store. In every port where bargains could be 
 had, they made such purchases as they had trans- 
 portation for ; and then they sold or bartered 
 them at other ports, where generous profits could 
 be realized. Such perpetual accretions, through 
 three decades — added to their pay — made at last 
 a sum quite snug ; for, with their occasional pro- 
 motions, their field for barter and their trans- 
 portation limits were enlarged. 
 
 Their natural dispositions remained unchanged 
 in every changing scene ; unless there was a 
 change in Joseph, where there seemed to be a 
 growth of pious zeal in the cause of foreign 
 missions. 
 
 Some stories have been told of Joseph, reflect- 
 ing on his honesty when entrusted with merchant- 
 able supplies for contented savages, who, in re- 
 ality, needed no supplies ; but as to all of these 
 reports there was the proverbial " other side," 
 which, in Joseph's view, cleared the ugly shades 
 away, and left his record like a sunny sky, after 
 scudding clouds have passed, looking brighter for 
 their passage. 
 
 What was he to do with a useless cargo ? 
 Clothing, for example, suited to the climate of
 
 FLOWERS FROM A MORAL GARDEN. 23 
 
 the Northern Pole, was hardly suitable for the 
 natives of the South Pacific. Spasmodic charity 
 did not stop to think of this ; and why should 
 not Joseph make some fitter disposition ? If he 
 was offered money for the cargo, should he refuse 
 to take it? Was it not a providential "lift" 
 for him, and to no one's injury ? Surely the 
 natives, to whom it had been sent, had no use 
 for it. 
 
 Joseph could reason on these doubtful ques- 
 tions most adroitly ; and I can not do him justice 
 in the statement of his nice distinctions. 
 
 " He could distinguish, and divide 
 A hair, 'twixt south and southwest side." 
 
 John, with his blunt perceptions in matters 
 ethic, might and would, undoubtedly, have called 
 the whole transaction by an ugly name. But 
 John could never comprehend such questions. 
 
 Both at length returned to their native city ; 
 each with a resolve to quit the sea, and find the 
 comforts of a settled home. 
 
 They found the city now much changed from 
 what it was when Israel first began to tell them 
 of its wickedness, and for a time they felt like 
 strangers. 
 
 The remarkable resemblance of their cliildhood 
 was still preserved, and similar employments had 
 given them a similar physical development ; even
 
 24 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 in complexion they were the same, being bronzed 
 by like exposures. 
 
 Within a year after their return, both were 
 married. 
 
 Their wives were as different, in each dis- 
 tinctive physical development, as can be well 
 imagined ; and in mind and temperament they 
 were as far apart. 
 
 John's wife was Julia. Perpetual sunshine 
 rested on her face, and beamed in all her smiles. 
 Her heart was a perennial spring, and bubbling 
 fun gave music to its constant flow. She was 
 Avell developed in every turn of form and limb, 
 and was comely in her look. In activity, she 
 was as supple as an antelope, and could almost 
 rival an athlete. She had looked behind John's 
 somber mask, and found a congenial spirit there ; 
 with this she toyed and coquetted for awhile, 
 and then she embraced and loved it. Before 
 their marriage, she gave John due notice of the 
 quickness of her jealous choler ; and after mar- 
 riage, she was not wanting in occasional remind- 
 ers of it. 
 
 John was not at all disturbed by this, for, by 
 nature, he was constant, and Julia was supreme 
 in his affections. 
 
 Joseph's wife was Rachel — an incarnate Pene- 
 tential Sigh. Meekness, and a constant sense of 
 worminess, were prominent in her professions.
 
 FLOWERS FROM A MORAL GARDEN. 25 
 
 " All of US are worms ! " she frequently re- 
 marked, in her sprightly style of conversation. 
 
 Her lack of every subtle grace and charm 
 was, to her, a. most consoling fact, since it pro- 
 tected her from vanity. 
 
 " The besetting weakness of our sex ! " as she 
 sententiously observed. 
 
 In her angular construction, she formed an 
 outward type of her inward nature ; and all her 
 juices were acidulated. Nearlj'^ every one be- 
 lieved her to be a hypocrite ; but Joseph found 
 in her the chrysalis of an unfledged saint. 
 
 With such wives — whose virtues will hereafter 
 more strikingly appear — John and Joseph settled 
 down, but in different sections of the city. 
 
 Being differently engaged, even here, they did 
 not chance to run across each other ; and hav- 
 ing names like scores of others, these were insig- 
 nificant. Each believed the other to be still upon 
 the sea. 
 
 Both had the means of living well, and they 
 did live quite respectably. 
 
 Soon after this, Joseph's missionary zeal began 
 to find its social trumpeters ; and it was not long 
 before " The Ladies' Board of Foreign Missions," 
 then in the flush of its first enthusiasm, became 
 excited by reports of his marvelous adventures. 
 
 It was at once determined by the Board that 
 his experience would be, to them, invaluable ; and
 
 26 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 ' Mr. Pelter — Ezekiel Pelter — was instructed to 
 secure Joseph's presence. 
 
 Mr. Pelter was the oleaginous member of the 
 Board, and he advised the ladies in the ))usiness 
 details of their work. 
 
 Sanctimonious scents always perfumed his oily 
 chunks of wisdom, and made them most agree- 
 able. He was so in love with charity, that he 
 lived on it : not in a shabby, slip-shod way, but 
 quite genteelly. '* Charity suffereth long, and is 
 kind," saith the preacher; and Ezekiel Pelter was 
 a living proof of it. If his right hand ever did 
 a stroke of honest labor, it was done so cun- 
 ningly that his left hand knew not of it. 
 
 He called himself, sometimes, a vessel; some- 
 times a worm ; and sometimes the most debased 
 of sinners ; but he did not really think himself 
 a vessel, or a worm, or a sinner even ; and 
 when he addressed his Maker (as he did on 
 every possible occasion) it was in such a pat- 
 ronizing way as to show at once that he thought 
 himself entitled to a special hearing, and that 
 God was honored by his notice. 
 
 Except when devotionally engaged, or admin- 
 istering some pious admonition, a perpetual bland- 
 ness settled on his shining face, and gave im- 
 pressive unction to his learned speech ; and he 
 was never known to differ in opinion from any- 
 one who might extend a favor.
 
 FLOWERS FROM A MORAL GARDEN. 27 
 
 He was addressed, and spoken of, in various 
 ways — and sometimes in 'peculiar ways. Among 
 those most familiar were the following : 
 
 By his wife — "Pelter!" 
 
 She spoke the name with a sharp and snap- 
 ping sound, as though her jaws were hung on 
 springs of steel. 
 
 He always made quick movements when he 
 heard this voice ; for, when unusually excited, 
 she could make the air cerulean ; — and she did^ 
 sometimes. 
 
 This was Ezekiel's "cross" — this wife of his 
 — and the ladies of the Board, without excep- 
 tion, pitied him. When he discovered that they 
 pitied him, he bore his cross like a crusader in 
 the Holy Wars — always conspicuous. It is said 
 that he could dissolve the Board in tears by his 
 pictures of domestic trials, and that on such 
 occasions his large and spotless handkerchief 
 played a leading part. 
 
 By the badgered — " Pelter, AGAIN ! " 
 
 These words were spoken usually as profane 
 men utter maledictions ; but Ezekiel's mail was 
 proof. When the ladies heard the maledicent 
 tone they were righteously indignant ; but when 
 they saw Ezekiel with such a calm and placid 
 look, and such an impressive gesture of his hand, 
 wave the offensive words away, their anger was 
 forgotten in their growing admiration. 
 2
 
 28 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " He was persecuted," Ezekiel would say ; and 
 the effect was magical. 
 
 One of the sisters^ more emotional than the 
 rest, would even clasp his hand and raise her 
 tearful eyes to his in an actual overflow of sym- 
 pathy. 
 
 By the naughty hoys — "Old Pelter!''' 
 . Ezekiel was too old a pelter, and too wise a 
 one, to attack these wandering Arabs of the 
 street ; and as a duck sheds rain from its oily 
 back, he shed the pelts of gamin. 
 
 By the ladies of the Board — " Mr. P-e-l- 
 i-e-e-r," with a lingering, loving accent, which 
 always seemed to touch his noble heart. 
 
 Before this he bowed, with his hand upon his 
 waistcoat. What emotions were unspoken there, 
 and covered by that hand, they could easily im- 
 agine. 
 
 Such "Ladies' Boards" are organized, ostensi- 
 bly, for foreign service ; and it is supposed that 
 they employ themselves in the affairs of distant 
 countries. We see them mount their instruments 
 for indefinite ranges, and, with ostentatious bear- 
 ing, prepare to sweep the distant heavens. Ad- 
 miring this sublime astronomy, we look for new 
 developments and visit the observatory ; the tel- 
 escope is there, swinging on its axis, in the bi- 
 sected dome, but it creaks with the rust of long 
 non-usage as it swings. Where are the observers? 
 
 i
 
 " The lingering, loving accent, touched his noble heart."
 
 FLOWERS FROM A MORAL GARDEN. 31 
 
 We find them looking, not through it, but through 
 their little microscopes, and chattering like a roost 
 of magpies, as they search for stains upon their 
 neighbors' garments. 
 
 To such ignoble ends, come, sometimes, these 
 great pretensions ! 
 
 The Board, of which Ezekiel was a member, 
 had iU supply of microscopes ; and the ladies 
 were quite expert in the use of them. It was 
 thought — amono; themselves — that there was not 
 so mucli as a single " beam " in all their eyes, 
 and that this enabled them to look, with un- 
 clouded vision, for "motes" in the eyes of others. 
 What would have seemed to them suspicious, 
 if observed in one outside the Board, was regard- 
 ed with complacency, and even with approval, 
 in a member of the Board. 
 
 The emotional member — who would sometimes 
 take Ezekiel's hand, and overflow with sympathy 
 — will serve to illustrate. 
 
 Her name was Miranda Trap ; or, as Ezekiel 
 loved to call her, "My-nWy." By other mem- 
 bers, she was spoken of as " peculiar sometimes " ; 
 and, by the irreverent, she was oftener spoken of 
 as " gushing." 
 
 If she was a vessel — and she sometimes claim- 
 ed to be — she was a genuine Antique, and, be- 
 yond a question, cracked ; for, upon the slightest 
 provocation she would leak, most copiously.
 
 32 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " Them tears ! My-rindy.,'" Ezekiel would say, 
 with his hand upon her head; and then he would 
 wrestle with his own emotion. Let future poets 
 call her Niobe. 
 
 To borrow here the poetic name, Niobe had 
 found that a "fellow-feeling" makes us wondrous 
 kind ; and, to such questionable lengths did this 
 feeling bear her ardent soul, that she burned to 
 break Ezekiel's cross, and to anoint him with her 
 tearful unguents. 
 
 Ezekiel was not so cold or passionless as not 
 to feel Miranda's sympathy ; and it was very 
 precious to him. So this good man found here 
 a refuge from domestic storms. 
 
 The ladies of the Board observed occasional 
 displays of tenderness between them ; but they 
 never frowned, for they knew Ezekiel's trials and 
 the spiritual nature of his comforter. 
 
 Had not the Board determined to send for 
 Joseph Smith, it is difficult to say what might 
 have been the issue of this growing fervor be- 
 tween Ezekiel and Miranda ; and perhaps some 
 poisonous flower might have blossomed from it, 
 to infect the moral garden of the Board. 
 
 What happened, is reserved for another chapter.
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 MR. PELTEE. MAKES A SAD DISCOVERY. 
 
 Mr. Pelter knew where Joseph lived; and, 
 in company with others, he had seen him at his 
 house. 
 
 When there, Ezekiel, in his peculiar and im- 
 pressive way, displayed his fascinations ; and so 
 successfully, that Joseph was decidedly impressed 
 by them. By many little marks of deference and 
 respect Joseph showed his admiration for Ezekiel, 
 who seemed, in spiritual nature, of kin to him. 
 
 If the erood man swelled a little as he noticed 
 this, it was but natural ; and in this he showed 
 that, in trivial things, he did not exalt himself 
 above humanity, as he did in greater things. 
 
 Afterward Ezekiel reported to the Board some 
 of Joseph's conversation, but he could not spice 
 it with the new and strange aromas which Joseph 
 gave to it. What ho did repeat only served to 
 tantalize the Board, and to make the members 
 eager to behold this hero of a hundred tales. 
 Miranda Trap, among tlie others, listened, with
 
 34 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 wide - eyed wonder, to Ezekiel's report ; for, in it, 
 he himself was prominent. She, too, insisted 
 that, if possible, Joseph should be brought to 
 them. 
 
 They were so impatient that they resolved to 
 wait beyond their usual time ; for, if Mr. Pelter 
 should bring the traveler back with him, he 
 might advise them in their work : it was vision- 
 ary work, though they called it mission -arj, and 
 in their view of things it was all the same. 
 
 Ezekiel did not know, and in fact he was in- 
 clined to question, whether, at such an hour in 
 the day Joseph could be found at home ; but he 
 yielded to the ladies' wishes with his usual ur- 
 banity, and took his broad-brim hat, and, with 
 a twirl of his large and spotless handkerchief 
 around it, to make it " slick," he bowed and 
 started off. 
 
 While jostling through the Broadway throng, 
 with his eyes upon the street, that he might call 
 a stage when the proper one should come, he 
 came in heavy contact with a passer-by. The 
 passer-by was much more earnest than polite in 
 what he said to him, and when Ezekiel turned, 
 with — 
 
 "I beg your ^ar- don, sir," upon his lips, the 
 passer-by was out of sight. 
 ''Bless me!" said Ezekiel. 
 Whether he was speaking to the passer-by, or
 
 A SAD DISCOVERY, 35 
 
 invoking blessings on himself, or addressing one 
 on whom his eyes were fixed, it is impossible to say. 
 
 He saw a familiar face, with a look of amuse- 
 ment on it, turned in his direction. 
 
 Holding out one hand, and with the other 
 lifting off his broad-brim hat, he approached the 
 wearer of the smiling face. 
 
 '' How do you do," said he, impulsively. 
 
 " I am very well, sir," was the quiet answer ; 
 and the smiling face was merrier than before. 
 
 " I was on my way to see you,- sir," continued 
 Mr. Pelter; and now he made another offer of 
 his hand. 
 
 The smiling eyes did not appear to know him, 
 nor did their owner take the offered hand. 
 
 " My name is Pelter ! Ezekiel Pelter ! of the 
 Missionary Board!" the good man still con- 
 tinued ; and now his blandness was like a halo 
 around his smiling face. "• Do you not remember 
 me?" 
 
 " There is some mistake, no doubt," replied the 
 smiling stranger, " for I never saw you, sir, and 
 the name of Pelter was never on my log-book." 
 
 "Surely you are Mr. Smith? "" said Ezekiel, 
 puzzled. 
 
 " Oh, yes ; and there are a thousand other 
 Smiths," replied the stranger, pleasantly. 
 
 " But," said Mr. Pelter, with assurance, " you 
 ate the son of Israel Smith ! and have lived for
 
 36 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 thirty years upon the sea ! There are not a 
 thousand ' other Smiths ' to answer this descrip- 
 tion ! " 
 
 " You do appear to know me," said the stran- 
 ger, in surprise ; " but, for the life of me, I 
 can't make you out ! Perhaps it is your rig 
 that 's strange. In what waters did we meet ? " 
 
 Now Mr. Pelter was not pleased by this reply, 
 for he believed that Joseph Smith had noticed 
 him jjarticularly, and it was something new, in 
 his experience, to have any one forget him. 
 
 Had this been Joseph Smith, he would have 
 been remembered ; for Joseph had admired the 
 oily look and words of Mr. Pelter. But this 
 was John, not Joseph, Smith. 
 
 With a chagrined and injured look, Mr. Pelter 
 now continued : 
 
 " The ladies would be pleased to meet you at 
 their rooms." 
 
 " What ladies ? " inquired John. 
 
 This question was a fresh offense, for Joseph 
 had expressed a special wish to meet the ladies 
 of the Board. 
 
 With a crushing dignity and his severest look 
 of pious indignation, Ezekiel now replied : " The 
 Ladies' Board of Foreign Missions, sir ! " 
 
 Unscathed by the lightning of Ezekiel's glance, 
 and all unconscious of his anger, John again 
 inouired:
 
 A SAD DISCOVERY. 
 
 37 
 
 " And what do they want of mef" 
 
 This was too much, even for Christian equan- 
 imity; and Mr. Pelter would have turned away 
 from him with sublime contempt, had he not re- 
 membered with what a flourish he had described 
 to the ladies of the Board his flattering reception 
 by Joseph Smith. Remembering this, he hesi- 
 tated. It would not do to now confess that Mr. 
 Smith had "cut him" on the street. He must 
 pocket the personal indignity and have Mr. 
 Smith return with him, or belittle the imposing 
 fiofure he had made before the ladies of the 
 Board when describing his reception. 
 
 He could pocket an indignity ; in fact, he had 
 done so a hundred times — it was necessary in his 
 employment; but he could not belittle the im- 
 portance of Ezekiel Pelter in the estimation of 
 Board. This he lived on, and he was not so 
 reckless as to fly in the face of his bread and 
 butter. 
 
 So, with all his self-importance gone, and with 
 grief and indignation in his heart, he answered : 
 
 " They would like to hear something of your 
 travels., sir." 
 
 " Why, bless their hearts ! I would like to 
 please tliem," Jolin replied ; " and T have a little 
 time to spare. How far is it?" 
 
 "It's very near," Ezekiel said. 
 
 And, with this, they walked along together. 
 3*
 
 38 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 "How did you know me?" inquired John, as 
 they walked along. 
 
 '-'•Know you!" replied Ezekiel, unable longer 
 to restrain himself. " Did I not talk with you ? 
 — in — your — own — house ? " 
 
 "In — my — house!'' said John deliberately, and 
 looking curiously at Mr. Pelter. 
 
 " I wonder if the old chap drinks," was his 
 reflection. 
 
 In a little time they reached the rooms. 
 
 When the ladies perceived them coming, and 
 heard Ezekiel's well-known voice say, "This way 
 sir," there was a buzzing in the room. Every 
 one was instantly engaged in some new arrange- 
 ment of her dress, or in fixing on some striking 
 posture, and before the door was opened, all were 
 ready, and apparently engaged in some important 
 work in hand. Of course, they were so much 
 engaged that they did not hear Ezekiel enter, and 
 were much surprised when they saw him in the 
 room, with Mr. Smith beside him ; and, of course, 
 one lady cried : 
 
 "Oh! Mr. P-e-1-t-e-e-r!" 
 
 Then all took notice of the distinguished pres- 
 ence, and the stranger was received in becom- 
 ing form. 
 
 It is to be regretted that Ezekiel felt the chill 
 of his street encounter on him now. Except 
 for this, these pages would be graced by some
 
 A SAD DISCOVERY. 39 
 
 exalted and inspiring words from him; for there 
 never was a better time than now for him to 
 speak. So it is, that all of us are made to suf- 
 fer, through a great and good man's injury ! 
 
 The ladies looked for something from Ezekiel ; 
 and Miranda's well was full. But not a touch- 
 ino- or a brilliant word did Mr. Pelter utter : he 
 was walking in a cloud, and his thoughts were 
 very, very bitter. 
 
 Not even this detracted from his majestic port, 
 and with graceful motions of his hand, he per- 
 formed the separate introductions. 
 
 " How can I serve you, ladies ? " was John's 
 first inquiry, when the introductions were con- 
 cluded. 
 
 This broke the spell of awkward silence, and 
 Miranda, moved by her gushing and impulsive na- 
 ture, quickly answered : 
 
 " Oh, sir ! tell us of your strange adventures ! 
 Of the sights you 've seen ! and of the poor, 
 deluded idol-worshipers ! " 
 
 "Do you pity them?" asked John, turning to 
 the excited maiden. 
 
 "O! I do! I do!" exclaimed Miranda. 
 
 " Then pity me — and all mankind," said John, 
 with a pleasant, smiling look, and bowing to the 
 gushing vessel. 
 
 "What do you mean, sir?" asked Miranda, 
 puzzled, and yet much pleased by his attention.
 
 40 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " All of US are idol-worsliipers ! " answered 
 John. 
 
 "Oh, Mr. Smith! What do you mean?" Mi- 
 randa asked again ; feeling strangely fluttered by 
 his smiling look. 
 
 "What senseless idols do we worship?" re- 
 sponded John. " You are one of them, and yet 
 seem all unconscious of our adoration ! " 
 
 Here John bowed, profoundly, with his hand 
 upon his heart, and the look which began to 
 sparkle in his eyes was mistaken for one of ten- 
 derness, by the gushing, and now blushing maid- 
 en ; and she answered — looking rosy as she spoke 
 —by another question : 
 
 " And — is it — us you worship ? " 
 
 Here, the Antique Vessel fairly shone ; and 
 John replied — 
 
 "Why not?" 
 
 Ezekiel was restless and excited now. What 
 did those blushes mean, upon the faded cheeks 
 of his M.y-rindy ? The Austere Member was stand- 
 ing by Ezekiel — nearly behind the visitor — and 
 they could hear the conversation with Miranda, 
 and see her flushed and speaking face. 
 
 " Did you ever hear such nonsense ? " she whis- 
 pered cautiously in Ezekiel's ear. " See her 
 smirk — and simper — the foolish girl! A pretty 
 looking idol she would make ! He 's making a 
 fool of her!"
 
 A SAD DISCOVERY. 41 
 
 Her feelings would have been quite different, 
 no doubt, had she been standing in Miranda's place. 
 
 Beads of perspiration began to start on Eze- 
 kiel's face, and as he wiped them off, other 
 beads would quickly form ; when the Austere 
 Member spoke to him, the beads began to run 
 in little rills in the wrinkles of his face. 
 
 "Is it so warm?" the Austere Member asked, 
 looking at his glowing face. " I had not no- 
 ticed it." 
 
 "I'll make it warm for him!^' said Ezekiel, 
 spitefully, and glaring on the unconscious John. 
 
 " Why, Mr. P-e-1-t-e-e-r ! " exclaimed the Mem- 
 ber. " Come this way I he will overhear you ! " 
 
 With this, they drew off together, to another 
 portion of the room. Some of the other mem- 
 bers, seeing this, followed after them ; and they 
 were soon engaged in low-toned conversation. 
 Soon, other members followed, until Miranda was 
 left alone with the distinguished traveler. 
 
 Now, John stooped slightly, and, speaking in 
 a lower tone, inquired : 
 
 " Who is that oily chap ? " 
 
 Miranda, in surprise, replied : 
 
 "Who? Mr. P-c-1-t-e-e-r ? " 
 
 " Yes," said John, " that 's what he called 
 himself. Who is he, anyhow ? " 
 
 " Why, sir," said Miranda, blushing, " he *s a 
 member of our Board ! "
 
 42 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " Does he drink too much occasionally ? " in- 
 quired John. 
 
 " Oh, Mr. Smith ! How can you think so ! 
 No!" 
 
 " Well, he 's a funny acting fellow then." 
 
 " How ? What do you mean ? " 
 
 " Why, he came up to me upon the street, 
 as though he was my brother at the very least, 
 and insisted that he knew me. I tried to cor- 
 rect his evident mistake, and he said that he had 
 visited at my house ! " 
 
 "Well; so he had." 
 
 "He had? For what? To see my wife?" 
 
 " To see yourself, sir ! He told us all about 
 it ; and what you said to him. That 's why we 
 sent him for you." 
 
 " He 's a humbug ! to draw it mildly. 
 
 I never saw him in my life before ; and he was 
 never at my house ! " 
 
 " W-li-a-tf'' was all, in her astonishment, the 
 astounded girl could say. 
 
 " It 's all his oily blarney ! " continued John ; 
 " he never saw me in the world until to-day." 
 
 Miranda had never stopped to think that she 
 might be an idol-worshiper, and that Ezekiel 
 had been her Joss ; but now she felt it, and 
 to see her idol overturned by this strange hand 
 — for the lever of distrust plays havoc with our 
 idols — and to feel the foundations of her faith
 
 A SAD DISCOVERY. 43 
 
 surely slipping from beneath her, was to be con- 
 founded for the moment. But she had a heart 
 of wondrous elasticity, and with an instant for 
 reflection, she invested the destroying hand with 
 supernatural power, and trampling on her pros- 
 trate idol she set up a new divinit}^ in the per- 
 son of the man before her. 
 
 John made a better looking god than Mr. Pel- 
 ter ; and when her mind was turned in his di- 
 rection, Miranda felt much better satisfied with 
 him. In poetic fancy, she could circumnavigate 
 the globe with John, and fill their sails with aro- 
 matic breezes; but Ezekiel was too real, and he 
 would expose his grossness sometimes, in spite 
 of all her ideal drapery. 
 
 When a woman makes a change in idols, she 
 feels no sympathy for the one dethroned ; and 
 Miranda was a woman. 
 
 " What an artful hypocrite he has been ! " said 
 she, with a contemptuous look in the direction 
 of Ezekiel. " He made himself of great import- 
 ance ! and told us how he had impressed you ! 
 But let him pass. Now, do tell us, Mr. Smith, 
 something of your travels ! " Here she gave him 
 such a look as had often thrilled Ezekiel with 
 rapture. 
 
 " I have no time for any lengthy talk to-day," 
 said John ; " but, perhaps some other time I will 
 amuse you."
 
 44 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " Oh ! will you, Mr. Smith ? " the gushing 
 maiden interrupted. 
 
 " But now, in truth,*' continued John, " I have 
 not the time. Let us see what the ladies wish." 
 
 Durine this brief and harmless conversation the 
 members were in earnest consultation. 
 
 John and Miranda, by speaking cautiously, and 
 in a tone inaudible to them, seemed to arouse 
 suspicion, and Miranda's rapturous look was no- 
 ticed by them all. Perhaps, if left alone, the 
 ladies would not have looked unfavorably on 
 Miranda's evident success in efforts to entertain 
 and please the visitor; but they were not left 
 alone. Ezekiel was there, with the recollection 
 of his street encounter, and with the greater 
 provocation of the traveler's trifling with his 
 adored " My - rindy.'" 
 
 "He's a wolf!" Ezekiel exclaimed, in great 
 excitement; "and a godless libertine! — with a 
 A-w-w-dred wives — and c-o-w-cubines, no doubt ! 
 It stands to reason, ladies ! Why did you send 
 for him? To talk to you, as idols? No! What 
 then? To tell My -rindi/ that he worshiped her? 
 No 1 What THEN ? I '11 tell you what ! To talk 
 of heathen idols — of idols made of wood ! and 
 stone! and such -like idols! What did he talk 
 about? Oh, he is the roaring lion mentioned in 
 the Scriptures ! Beware of him ! Beware of him ! 
 and — save — My - rindy ! "
 
 A SAD DISCOVERY. 45 
 
 Here the good man's feelings overpowered him, 
 and he caught the contemptuous glance of his 
 My-rmJy, and his noble heart stood still. 
 
 It was a trying moment for the members of 
 the Board, for Ezekiel's speech and look aston- 
 ished them. 
 
 "What shall we do?" asked one. 
 
 " Tell us what to do ! " another said. 
 
 "What shall we say?" inquired a third. 
 
 " Tell us what to say ! " exclaimed a fourth. 
 
 Ezekiel, now somewhat recovered, was equal 
 to the great occasion. 
 
 " Let us confine ourselves to business," he 
 calmly said to them. " We propose to make up 
 supplies for the field in Southern Africa; let us 
 ask him what in his opinion would be most 
 suitable to send." 
 
 An approving look was on all the faces of the 
 Board, and here John's repeated inquiry was 
 heard : 
 
 " How can I serve yoit, ladies?" 
 
 The Austere Member made the inquiry sug- 
 gested by Ezekiel. 
 
 " Send them Ijlankets ! " John replied ; " good, 
 warm blankets ! " 
 
 With a twinkle in his eye, he added to Mi- 
 randa — speaking in a lower tone — "As well send 
 blankets as anything, for the natives will not 
 get sight of them."
 
 46 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 "Blankets for Africa!'''' said the Austere Mem- 
 ber, in supreme astonishment. 
 
 " Warm blankets ! " another said. 
 
 "Warm blankets for South Africa!" exclaimed 
 the others, in a chorus. 
 
 Ezekiel was too indignant for expression, but 
 he managed to articulate, very slowly, and with 
 protruding eyes and hands upraised : " B-l-a-n- 
 kets — for — South — Af-v'icix, ! " 
 
 In the midst of this sudden consternation, 
 John turned to his companion, and, with a nod 
 and smile, he said " Good day," and disappeared. 
 
 When the members looked to see what ex- 
 planation he would offer, his place was vacant, 
 and Miranda stood alone. 
 
 Ezekiel was the first to move and speak. He 
 made a headlong rush ; breaking through the 
 circle of his saintly friends, and causing them to 
 gaze in some surprise, on his impetuous move- 
 ments. Stretching out his arms as he approached 
 the maiden, and with his . sonorous voice quaver- 
 ing with emotion, he fervently exclaimed : " How 
 often, O M.y -rindy I would I have gathered you 
 together — " 
 
 "You needn't mind about it!" said the fickle 
 spinster, interrupting him ; and then she drew away. 
 
 Here again, a sudden chill congealed his burn- 
 ing eloquence ; and he stopped, and dropped his 
 arms, struck by a cruel and unpitying hand.
 
 A SAD DISCOVERY. 47 
 
 "You have deceived us!" said Miranda. "You 
 never visited the house of Joseph Smith I He 
 never saw you, until to-day ! " 
 
 The other members started at this sudden and 
 specific accusation, and could not unders'tand it. 
 Mr. Peltf^r was, for a moment, staggered by the 
 unexpected blow : but soon his bosom began to 
 heave with indignation. While he hesitated, how- 
 ever, liis ardent passion for Miranda restrained 
 hot words of wrath, which else had crushed her, 
 and a look of benignant pity glorified his face. 
 
 He spoke, at first, but a single word ; but 
 the look of mingled adoration and reproach with 
 which he pointed it, can not be pictured in de- 
 scription. That single word was the one he loved 
 the best of all — 
 
 " i%-RINDY ! " 
 
 That she could hear that word unmoved, when 
 pronounced in such a tone, and with such a look, 
 was sufficient even for Ezekiel to see that the 
 place lie luul held in her gushing heart, was 
 closed to him for evermore. 
 
 He was fired by this to defensive measures ; 
 for he saw as well, that he must acquit him- 
 self before the ladies of the Board. 
 
 "Did lie say that to you, ^y-rindy? — that he 
 did not knov/ me ? and that I was never at his 
 house?" asked Mr. Pelter. 
 
 " Yes," replied Miranda.
 
 48 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " Now I see it all ! " said he, with a look of 
 horror on his face. " O, the artful plot ! O, the 
 seductive Aviles I First, he tries to estrange you 
 from your friends, by his slandering tongue ! 
 Then — what then? O, M.y-rindy ! he is a villain! 
 I do know him ! and I saw him at his house ! 
 and we talked together, — as I reported to you 
 all! Can you believe this stranger, and suspicion 
 me ? " 
 
 " All — this — seems — strange ; ve-ry strange ! " 
 now said the Austere Member. " I can not un- 
 derstand it, Mr. Pelter!" 
 
 The loving, lingering accent on his name was 
 gone ; and he noticed it : he noticed also, in 
 the member's look, what he had never seen be- 
 fore — an evident distrust. More anxious now 
 than ever, he renewed his protestations. 
 
 " I assure you ! — upon my honor ! — that I 
 speak the truth," said he. 
 
 " What motive could he have for denying what 
 you say? His character is high — as you your- 
 self confess — and he is spoken of, by every one, 
 with great respect." 
 
 Here Mr. Pelter drew himsel£ up, in his most 
 admired and commanding attitude. 
 
 " What motive., madam ! " continued he. " Were 
 you blind? Could you not see?" Then, turn- 
 ing to Miranda, and pointing to her : " There is 
 the motive ! There ! He would lead that pre-
 
 A SAD DISCOVERY. 49 
 
 cious soul away, and send it to perdition. That 
 is the motive, madam ! And noAv I see it all ! " 
 
 "O, you wretch! You deceitful wretch!" cried 
 out Miranda, in hysterical excitement. " You are 
 the one who tries to deceive and tempt me ! — 
 You ! — you I — YOU ! " Here, hysteria entirely 
 possessed her ; and, with tears and sobs, and some 
 spasmodic jerks, she made a picture quite dis- 
 tressing. 
 
 The ladies at once surrounded her, as though 
 to protect her from Ezekiel ; but he — poor man 
 — was so stunned, from this last stroke of his 
 My-r^nc?J/, that he was incapable of offering harm 
 to any one. 
 
 Here stood the Moral Paragon ! the living 
 proof of charity! deserted and — alone! With- 
 out the guilt of Adam, he was threatened with 
 expulsion from the moral garden of the Board ! 
 But he would not go unheard. 
 
 " I will prove to you," said he, " that what I 
 say is true." 
 
 With this, he took his broad -brimmed hat and 
 with a heavy, long-drawn sigh, and a lingering 
 look at his adored My-rindy, walked sorrowfully 
 away.
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 EACHEL AND EZEKIEL IN A COMPROMISING 
 SITUATION. 
 
 As Mr. Pelter walked sorrowfully away, he 
 reflected on his unjust treatment. A feeling of 
 resentment, unnatural in his tender heart, at once 
 succeeded to his apathetic misery. 
 
 He entirely forgot the scriptural injunction, to 
 turn his other cheek, and to forgive his enemies; 
 and, if he had thought of it, it would have 
 seemed to him like a satire on humanity. 
 
 He had many times advised this course to 
 others, but it was quite another thing to act 
 on it in his own affairs. In this he was not 
 unlike the majority of those who spend their lives 
 in fitting jackets for their fellows, which they 
 themselves refuse to wear. 
 
 With every step his indignation and his anger 
 grew, and by the time he had reached his house 
 a resolute determination had been formed. 
 
 His wife observed his unusual look, and she 
 spoke to him in a tone of curious interest. But 
 
 50
 
 A COMPROMISING SITUATION. 51 
 
 he did not answer her, and with clouds npon 
 his stately brow, he made his way at once to a 
 private room, where he was accustomed to pre- 
 pare the reports and official circulars of the La- 
 dies' Board. 
 
 While hot with his resentment he commenced 
 to write. Even when his " cross " appeared, and 
 with wondering looks inquired : " What are you 
 at ? " he did not answer. He did not even 
 look up, until, in her sharp, commanding voice, 
 she called out : 
 
 ''Pelter!'' 
 
 Then, for the first time in liis life, he replied, 
 with spirit : 
 
 " You bother me ! Go 'way ! " 
 
 No wonder that his wife was dazed ; or that 
 she yielded in amazement to this assertion of 
 authority ; or, that she muttered as she closed 
 the door and went away — 
 
 " I could respect him almost, if he could keep 
 up this show of spirit, and not be truckling to 
 that Board of Petticoats ! " 
 
 There was gall and wormwood on Ezekiel's 
 pen, and thoughts as l)itter in his heart. When 
 he had finished writing, he read what he had 
 written, and a calm cold smile of satisfaction 
 succeeded to the blandness on his face. 
 
 Slowly and carefully he folded up what he 
 had written. Then he sealed it. Then he wrote
 
 52 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 the superscription. The superscription was as 
 follows : 
 
 (Dfk-M- Sad^-A ^o^-t-^^ 
 
 With this he hurried out, and before his anger 
 cooled, he put it in the nearest letter-box. 
 
 " The villain is unmasked ! " he exclaimed ; 
 and again he walked away — not sorrowful, but 
 exultant. 
 
 On the following day the letter was delivered. 
 Rachel was at home, and she personally received 
 it. She looked at the handwriting. It was 
 strange to her. Then she noticed that it was 
 a city letter ; and then she wondered from whom 
 it could have come. 
 
 She might have ascertained the fact at first, 
 by looking at the letter ; and now, as though 
 that thought had just occurred to her, she opened 
 it. First she read the signature. 
 
 " Ezekiel Pelter — who is he?" said she, con- 
 tinuing her self-questioning. " Oh yes, I remem- 
 ber now ; he is that pleasant and fine-spoken 
 gentleman who called on Joseph, as a member 
 of the Missionary Board. I wonder if the letter 
 is for me ; perhaps it is for Joseph."
 
 A COMPROMISING SITUATION. 53 
 
 Here she read the address. 
 
 ''Dear Madam — " • 
 
 " It is for me. But why shoukl Mr. Pelter 
 write to me ?" 
 
 After all this questioning, she resolved to read 
 the letter. She soon became so entirely absorbed 
 in it — so painfully absorbed in it — that she 
 changed in every look. 
 
 The letter was as follows : 
 
 '•'•Dear Madam, and Sister in the Bonds of Faith: 
 
 " I find myself in a position most painfully 
 embarrassing. I have prayed most earnestly for 
 divine direction, and He appears to make my 
 duty plain to me." 
 
 (This opening sentence was one of Mr. Pelter's 
 favorite hyperboles — especially when about to un- 
 dertake a thing of questionable propriety — and 
 he was so accustomed to its use, that he did not 
 stop to think, that in fact, he had not prayed 
 for divine direction ; and that if any supernat- 
 ural spirit prompted him, it was doubtless that 
 of Beelzebul). He found it most convenient, at 
 all such times, to charge his meanness to the 
 Lord, and then take personal credit for his vir- 
 tues. St. Peter must keep a watchful eye on 
 the celestial gates, or Mr. Pelter will outwit him.) 
 The letter continued : 
 
 " What I have to write will prove distressing 
 to you ; and as I write my heart is bleeding
 
 54 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 for you." (Another hyperbole of Mr. Pelter's.) 
 " Even now I feel inclined to stop, but duty 
 urges me. A precious soul demands my inter- 
 ference ! Shall I be silent, and see that precious 
 soul entrapped by artful snares, until the Evil 
 One shall come and take it to himself? I can 
 not ! Shall I not rather, by sounding the alarm, 
 prevent the consummation of the wicked act ? 
 Do you inquire how all this concerns yourself? 
 It is my painful duty to inform you. 
 
 " It is your husband — Joseph Smith — who leads 
 this lamb of our little flock to the gates of hell ! 
 Astonishing as this may seem to you, incredul- 
 ous as you may be at first, a simple statement 
 of the facts will force conviction on your mind. 
 
 " Miranda Trap is the youngest, fairest, and 
 most spiritual member of our Board ; and we all 
 watch over her with great solicitude, so impul- 
 sive is her nature. She is very precious to our 
 hearts. In an evil hour your husband met her, 
 and he at once began to practice his seductive arts 
 
 — even saving to her that he ' worshiped ' her ! 
 
 — that is the very word. She, an artless child 
 in all her thoughts, was pleased by his attention, 
 and finally she became so thoroughly infatuated 
 that she abandoned her dearest friend for him. 
 
 " We must save this precious soul ! I write to 
 you, that you may check your husband in his
 
 A COMPROMISING SITUATION. 55 
 
 licentious course, and / will seek for help and 
 strength in continued prayer. 
 
 " Faithfully your friend, 
 
 " In Christian sympathy, 
 
 " EZEKIEL PeLTER." 
 
 Rachel read the letter with the most astonish- 
 ing composure, and by the time she had finished 
 it her face was as hard as stone- 
 Some wives would have been broken by it 
 utterly : most wives would have been so shocked 
 by it as to display profound emotion. But Ra- 
 chel was only weak in her professions: in her 
 nature she was as hard, and cruel, and pitiless as 
 Fate. Even the wrinkles in her face seemed to 
 set themselves and petrify, when she had finished 
 reading, until they looked like some rough chisel- 
 ing on a granite form. Without so much as a 
 trembling of her hands, she folded up the letter, 
 and put it in the bosom of her dress. After a 
 moment's silence she, unconsciously, began to 
 speak : 
 
 " She was the fairest of the flock, was she ? 
 As artless as a child in all her thoughts ! The 
 most spiritual among them I Quite a paragon in- 
 deed. I am not fair enough for Joseph, I sup- 
 pose ; nor artless enough ! nor spiritual enough ! 
 He '11 find me furious enough, if he is n't care- 
 ful!"
 
 56 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 Such thoughts and self-communings did not 
 tend to make Rachel cheerful ; as the day passed 
 on, the stony face did not relax ; when Joseph 
 entered, at his usual hour, it even seemed to 
 harden more. But the flashes from her eyes 
 were like glints from polished, steel. 
 
 "What is the matter, Rachel?" asked Joseph, 
 in surprise. 
 
 " Humph ! " she answered, with a contemptu- 
 ous motion. 
 
 " What u it, Rachel ? Tell me what it is," 
 insisted Joseph. 
 
 " Have you been setting traps to-day ? " she 
 spitefully retorted. 
 
 " Setting traps ! What do you mean ? " said 
 he, with growing wonder. 
 
 " Trap should be a word familiar to you," an- 
 swered Rachel. " But perhaps you use the more 
 poetic one, M-i-r-a-n-d-a ! How is she?" 
 
 " Rachel ! " now said Joseph, in a tone of sharp 
 rebuke, " explain yourself ! What is all this non- 
 sense ?" 
 
 " Explain myself ! That 's good ! Ha, ha, ha ! 
 How well you play your part ! After you — 
 after you, sir, I will explain ! " 
 
 " After me ! And what shall / explain ? " 
 
 " Explain your amours with Miranda Trap !" 
 cried Rachel, with a stormy look. " And if you 
 tell me honestly, everything, even if I hate you,
 
 A COMPROMISING SITUATION. 57 
 
 I will not despise you, as I shall if you try con- 
 cealment ! " 
 
 "For Heaven's sake!" cried Joseph, "tell me 
 what it is you 're talking of ! " 
 
 "Then," said Rachel, drawing herself up, "you 
 will not confess ! You prefer contempt ! O, you 
 canting hypocrite ! " 
 
 Now, Joseph had been accustomed to command 
 in storms before, though not in such storms as 
 this, but here he was not disposed to shrink, 
 for his patience was exhausted. 
 
 '■'■Leave the room!'" said he; and he spoke as 
 he had spoken on the sea, when the storm was 
 rending all his sails, and his strong-ribbed ship 
 was struo-olino' with the waves. She had never 
 heard this voice before, and in spite of all her 
 courage, she trembled with alarm. She left the 
 room. Some little time elapsed before she re- 
 gained composure. When she was restored, she 
 reflected on her situation. Of Joseph's guilt she 
 entertained no doubt, and his anger seemed to 
 her a " confirmation strong." But she had not 
 the courage to again provoke his wrath. She 
 resolved to watch with the vigilance of hate, 
 and to consult with Mr. Pelter on the means to 
 be adopted. 
 
 Joseph was bewildered. He had no basis even 
 for conjecture. He would have pressed for fur- 
 ther explanations had he not already seen that
 
 58 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 it would be worse than useless. His wife liad 
 called him a " canting hypocrite," and this was 
 an offense not to be forgotten. 
 
 The evening and the night passed by without 
 a change in the status belli. After breakfast on 
 the following morning, Joseph took his hat and 
 walked away, without a word to Rachel. No 
 sooner was he off, than Rachel resolved at once 
 to summon to her aid the valiant Christian soldier 
 of the Board. She sat down and wrote to Mr. 
 Pelter. She urged him to come, as soon as pos- 
 sible; and fixed a time "when," she wrote, "Jo- 
 seph will be absent, and we will be undisturbed." 
 She signed the letter simply, "Rachel." 
 
 She could not expect him sooner than the fol- 
 lowing day ; and with Christian fortitude she 
 engaged herself in her usual household duties. 
 
 Now it so happened that Joseph had not been 
 long down town, before he encountered, on the 
 street, the good man Mr. Pelter. Joseph was 
 glad to see him, and, holding out his hand most 
 cordially, he said : 
 
 " " Good morning, Mr. Pelter. How are the 
 ladies of the Board ? " 
 
 To Mr. Pelter this seemed like impertinence 
 in the most sublime degree, and he was so in- 
 dignant that he could scarce^ speak. He drew 
 up, and with a flaming face and a voice trem- 
 bling with passion, said :
 
 A COMPROMISING SITUATION. 59 
 
 " I scorn you, sir !" 
 
 Joseph dropped his extended hand at this, 
 and stared at Mr. Pelter. Then his face flamed, 
 and he answered sharply, and with angry eyes : 
 
 "What do you mean, sir?" 
 
 Ezekiel, not to be intimidated by Joseph's 
 frown, retorted hotly : 
 
 " You know what I mean ! And I give you 
 notice that I will save My-rind^ from your licen- 
 tiousness ! For shame, sir I for shame I And you 
 a married man ; and with a trusting Christian 
 wife ! " 
 
 Saying this, Ezekiel passed proudly on, leaving 
 Joseph in fresh mazes of bewilderment. 
 
 '■'■ He talks about this same Miranda!" reflected 
 Joseph. " It seems as though there was a Trap, 
 somewhere ! but it is set too cunningly for me. 
 I never heard of such a person as Miranda Trap. 
 Some vicious scamp has put this up on me. I 
 do n't suppose there is such a person as Miranda 
 Trap! It's hard to fight such shadows. I must 
 make Rachel explain it to me!" 
 
 While engaged in these reflections, Joseph, too, 
 was passing on ; but all the noises and bustle of 
 the street did not drive away this mysterious 
 specter — Miranda Trap. 
 
 That night, the atmosphere at home had a 
 smell of brimstone, and Joseph thought it pru- 
 dent to postpone his questions to his wife until
 
 60 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 it cleared somewhat. The following morning was 
 not clear, and Joseph thought that he would 
 leave the matter for another day ; or, at least, 
 till he came home to dinner. 
 
 That morning was an exciting and eventful one 
 to Mr. Pelter. Rachel's letter came. He read 
 it with 2')eculiar satisfaction, but he did not 
 speak, for his wife was in the room. 
 
 "Who's the letter from?'' she asked. 
 
 "Oh — it's a business matter," answered Mr. 
 Pelter. 
 
 " That 's not what I want to know. Who is 
 it from?" 
 
 " No matter, no matter," answered Mr, Pelter, 
 getting nervous, and putting the letter in the 
 inner pocket of his coat. 
 
 "No matter, eh?" replied his virtuous spouse; 
 and then she rose, with resentment in her face, 
 and left the room. 
 
 "Wife!" called out Mr. Pelter, presently; and 
 she came back. " I wish you would sew a but- 
 ton on my coat," said he. 
 
 His coat was off, and he was eno^asfed in dress- 
 ing, with unusual care. She took it in her hand, 
 and asked: "Is the button all?" 
 
 " Yes," he answered. 
 
 She went out again, taking Ezekiel's coat. No 
 sooner had the door closed after her than she 
 put her hand in the inner pocket and drew out
 
 A COMPROMISING SITUATION. 61 
 
 Rachel's letter. She put it in the pocket of her 
 dress, with a look of satisfaction, and then sat 
 down to sew the button on. When she returned 
 the coat, she asked: "Are you going out?" 
 
 " Yes," he answered ; and he was very rest- 
 less ; for it would be a sorry day for him if his 
 spirited companion should discover his unlawful 
 passion for Miranda Trap. 
 
 So, being restless, and dreading further ques- 
 tions, he finished dressing as soon as possible, 
 and without thinking of the letter, took his 
 -broad-brim hat and went away. 
 
 When he had gone, his wife took Rachel's 
 letter from her pocket and sat down to read it. 
 The letter was as follows : 
 
 " My dear Mr. Felter : 
 
 " Ever since I received your letter I have been 
 burning with a desire to see you " 
 
 " This letter then," said Mrs. Pelter, " is not 
 the first I ' burning — with — desire I ' " But she 
 was too impatient for another word, and con- 
 tinued reading. 
 
 " My husband will be away from home all day 
 to-morrow " 
 
 " Ah ! " cried the jealous wife ; but still she 
 read. 
 
 " You muHt come soon ! and you had better 
 come when Joseph is away, and we will bu un- 
 disturbed • " 
 
 3*
 
 62 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 "Oh, the shameless thmg!" exclaimed the furi- 
 ous Mrs. Pelter ; but still she read : 
 
 " O ! Joseph was so angry. You must tell me 
 what to do ! I am half distracted, and can 
 scarcely wait for you ! Do not fail to come — 
 and soon ! Your precious ' lamb ' must not be 
 forgotten." That was all, except the signature — 
 "Rachel." 
 
 " His lamb ! " cried Mrs. Pelter, in a rage. 
 " Oh, if I only had her here ! This is the sort 
 of missionary work my husband is engaged in ! 
 I '11 serve his ' lamb ' with caper sauce ! and they '11 
 be curious capers, too, if I get hold of her ! O, 
 wont I ? — wont I ? — wont I ? " 
 
 Mr. Pelter, all unconscious of the furious storm 
 gathering behind him, hurried on with eager steps 
 to the house of Joseph Smith. Rachel was wait- 
 ing for him. 
 
 " Oh, Mr. Pelter," she exclaimed, as soon as 
 they were alone together. "What shall I do?" 
 
 " Compose yourself, dear lady," said Ezekiel, 
 in his sweetest tone of consolation. " All of us 
 are worms ; but we have a Helper." 
 
 " I know it Mr. Pelter," Rachel cried ; " but, 
 somehow, my religion seems to fit other people's 
 cases better than my own. This is awful ! " 
 
 " It is, indeed," replied Ezekiel ; " but with 
 proper circumspection we may defeat his wicked 
 purposes."
 
 A COMPROMISING SITUATION. 63 
 
 " Oh, I hope so, Mr. Pelter ! I hope so ! But 
 to think that Joseph could be guilty of such a 
 thing! I have lost all faith in men!" 
 
 " Do not say that ! do not, I pray you ! " And 
 here Ezekiel gave her such a glance as Miranda 
 never could resist. 
 
 It did begin to look as though Mr. Pelter, 
 compelled to abandon the moral garden of the 
 Board, was trying now to cultivate the moral 
 garden of Mr. Joseph Smith. 
 
 " Well," said Rachel, hesitating, " I will ex- 
 cept yourself." 
 
 "Thank you, madam; thank you!" said Eze- 
 kiel. And here they were interrupted by a ser- 
 vant bringing in some letters which the postman 
 had just left. Rachel took the letters and looked 
 them over ; and Ezekiel, who was standing by, 
 let his eyes fall upon them as she looked them 
 over. Soon he stopped her suddenly, saying : 
 
 " They are in correspondence ! " 
 
 "Who?" asked Rachel, looking up. 
 
 "Your husband and My-rmcZ^.^" replied Eze- 
 kiel, in profound astonishment. 
 
 "What do you mean?" cried Rachel in dis- 
 tress. 
 
 "There is a letter from Mj-rind^ !'^ said Eze- 
 kiel ; and he pointed to the letters in Rachers 
 hand. " T have seen her write a thousand times, 
 and know her writing."
 
 64 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 Rachel, with feverish anxiety, ran the letters 
 over, and soon found one in a woman's hand. 
 
 " Is that it ? " she asked, holding up the letter. 
 
 "It is," said Mr. Pelter. 
 
 "What shall I do?" asked Rachel. 
 
 Ezekiel had read the story of the monkey and 
 the chestnuts, and he answered promptly : " Open 
 it." Jle was anxious to see this correspondence. 
 
 " I do not dare to open it ! I never thought 
 of doing such a thing ! Joseph would be very 
 angry !" 
 
 " It is your duty, madam. Let him see that 
 he is detected and he will not dare to take 
 another step ! Besides, the letter will probably 
 disclose how far they've gone already." 
 
 "O, what shall I do?" 
 
 "Open it!" 
 
 " I am sorely tempted ! " 
 
 "Do it!" 
 
 With trembling hands and fluttering heart she 
 did it. This is what she saw, and she read it 
 to Ezekiel : 
 
 " Mr. Smith., my dear and valued friend : — 
 
 " I do not blame you for it — oh no ! I can 
 not find it in my heart to blame you — but — I 
 am — unhappy." 
 
 " Poor child ! " said Mr. Pelter. 
 
 " O, Joseph ! " Rachel wailed. But she con- 
 tinued reading : —
 
 A COMPROMISING SITUATION. 65 
 
 " Your words and looks have opened up such 
 new and sweet delights as to fill my heart. Oh 
 for the wings of a dove ! that I might fly away 
 from all my trials to the enchanting scenes where 
 you have been ! " 
 
 "Oh! oh! oh!" cried Rachel. 
 
 " 0-0-0-0 !" groaned Mr. Pelter. 
 
 " But," continued Rachel, reading, " I must 
 tell you of my troubles. Mr. Pelter — the odious 
 man!—" 
 
 "What? what's that?" exclaimed Ezekiel. 
 
 "The odious man!" repeated Rachel, reading. 
 
 " Oh, she 's lost ! she 's lost ! " cried Mr. Pel- 
 ter. 
 
 "And where is Joseph?" cried the sorrowing- 
 Rachel. But still she read : — 
 
 "Mr. Pelter — the odious man! — has already 
 turned suspicion on us. I know that you did 
 not intend to place me in a position of such 
 embarrassment, — but you have. When people 
 question me, what can I say? I never will con- 
 fess the truth, but, I fear in sjjite of me, my 
 face tells something. I will explain what you are 
 charged witli, if you will write to me, and tell 
 me when and where I can have a meeting 
 with you. Do write to me — I pray you — soon! 
 
 " May God and all his angels bless you, is the 
 prayer of your sorrowing 
 
 " Miranda."
 
 66 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " O, Mr. Pelter ! " burst out Rachel. " What 
 shall I do with this damning proof of Joseph's 
 guilt? She will not confess the truth, she says, 
 but her face tells something ! What does it 
 tell ? A virtuous woman's face tells nothing to 
 her injury! O, Mr. Pelter!" 
 
 Ezekiel was not a fickle man, and without 
 great provocation he would not falter in his alle- 
 giance ; especially when his bread and butter 
 hung on his fidelity. But the most loyal and 
 magnanimous of men may be driven to revolt. 
 
 That word "odious" in Miranda's letter was 
 too much for Mr. Pelter ; it pierced his noble 
 heart and made him desperate. 
 
 " Your husband met lAy-rindy first in the pres- 
 ence of the Ladies' Board," said he. " They 
 encouraged him, and I protested ! " 
 
 In his sudden indignation he determined to 
 renounce Miranda and all the Missionary Board, 
 and to espouse the cause of the injured Rachel. 
 Impetuous in his zeal — too impetuous, perhaps, 
 and yet displaying in the act his generous and 
 unselfish nature — he fell upon his knees before 
 this new object of his solicitude, and clasped 
 his hands and lifted his sympathizing eyes to 
 hers. 
 
 " For heaven's sake get up ! " cried Rachel, 
 shocked. 
 
 He did not get up, but placed his hands upon
 
 ^nttif.^-. t/i 
 
 " Impetuous in his zeal, he fell upon his knees before Uus new 
 object of his solicitude."
 
 A COMPROMISING SITUATION. 69 
 
 his spotless waistcoat, and exclaimed in dramatic 
 tones : 
 
 "Lay your troubles on this 5oo-som, Rachel!" 
 
 He did not know that a witness stood behind 
 him in the open door, but Rachel's eyes were 
 full of fear, for she saw her husband standing 
 there. 
 
 Joseph heard Ezekiel's last dramatic speech, 
 and he stopped to hear no more. Quickly step- 
 ping up behind him, he took Ezekiel by the ear 
 and dragged him howling to his feet; still hold- 
 ing on, he gave a sudden jerk and forced Ezekiel 
 toward the door, then by a dexterous movement 
 of his foot he sent the good man flying through 
 the door. All this was done without a spoken 
 word ; then Joseph took Ezekiel's broad-brim hat 
 and threw it after him. 
 
 Ezekiel was a man of courage ; but it was a 
 spiritual courage — his flesh was weak. He quick- 
 ly grasped his broad-brim hat, and with a fright- 
 ened look l)ehind, to see if Joseph followed, he 
 hastened to the outer door ; then he rushed out, 
 and made such progress down the street as aston- 
 ished all beholders. 
 
 Were these not veracious chronicles this scene 
 might be omitted, for it is the darkest cloud 
 upon Ezekiel's long and useless life ; charity, 
 which had sheltered him so long, should cover 
 it as well.
 
 70 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 Joseph turned on Rachel with such a look of 
 fury as made her cower. She began to utter 
 protestations, but he stopped her. 
 
 "This," said he, "explains itself; don't make 
 it worse by attempting to excuse yourself!" 
 
 Rachel sank into a chair, completely overcome. 
 
 Joseph began pacing back and forth across the 
 room. At length he stopped before his wife, and 
 asked : 
 
 " Where did you pick up that man ? " 
 
 " O, Joseph — " she commenced. 
 
 " Stop ! " he cried. " No excuses, if you please ! 
 How — came — he — here ? " 
 
 " I sent for him." 
 
 " You sent for him ! Then you 're the one 
 that 's setting traps ! " 
 
 Rachel here plucked courage from the letter in 
 her hand, and with a bolder front she answered: 
 
 " Not setting traps, but finding what is caught 
 in them ! " 
 
 "What do you mean by that?" 
 
 " You are in the trap ; and I have caught you, sir ! " 
 
 "Don't try to draw me off! Explain the am- 
 orous scene I witnessed here ! " 
 
 "Sir!" replied the virtuous Rachel, rising up. 
 " I scorn your base insinuation ! " 
 
 " You ' scorn ' it, do you ? Why you have his 
 very form of speech ! He said, ' I scorn you, 
 sir ! ' But I am waiting for your explanation."
 
 A COMPROMISING SITUATION. 71 
 
 " You said the matter explained itself ! First, 
 you explain ! Explain — that — letter ! " 
 
 Here, quivering with excitement, she held out 
 to him Miranda's letter. He took the letter from 
 her hand and looked at it. 
 
 "Who opened this?" he asked. 
 
 "I did!" she answered boldly. 
 
 " And do you employ my correspondence for 
 the entertainment of your lover?" 
 
 This cut Rachel like a lash, and nearly wild 
 she cried : 
 
 " You shall not insult me by such language ! " 
 
 "I beg your pardon," said Joseph, with a bow 
 and sneer. " Will you lay your troubles on my 
 ' 5oo-som,' Rachel ? This, I find, is the proper 
 form of speech." 
 
 Rachel felt the lash again, but again she ad- 
 vanced to the attack. 
 
 " See what troubles you have laid in the bosom 
 of Miranda Trap ! Read that letter ! " 
 
 "'Still harping on ray daughter,' are you?" 
 With this, he commenced to read the letter. 
 
 " What 's this ? " said he, looking up at her. 
 
 " Oh, how in-no-cent ! " said she. 
 
 He looked at the envelope to be sure of the 
 address, and then at the signature. 
 
 " Miranda Trap again ! " said he. " Why, 
 woman, I never saw or heard of such a person 
 as Miranda Trap! What is it all?"
 
 72 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " Oh, Joseph, Joseph ! do not stain your soul 
 by falsehood ! It 's bad enough as 't is ; do n't 
 make it worse, as you said to me just now." 
 
 " Falsehood ! I speak the truth ! " 
 
 " Do you forget Avho saw you when you met 
 her first ? Or, are 3^ou calculating on my ignor- 
 ance ? " 
 
 "Who says I ever met her?" 
 
 "Mr. Pelter." 
 
 " Do n't dare to speak his name again ! " 
 
 " Well, then, all the ladies of the Missionary 
 Board saw you Joseph, and you doubtless thought 
 me ignorant of this." 
 
 " I never saw the ladies of the Missionary 
 Board ! " 
 
 " Oh, Joseph ! how can you tell me that ? " 
 
 " Do n't you believe me ? " 
 
 " I wish I could believe you." 
 
 •' Will you believe what they say, then ? If 
 they tell you so, will you l^elieve it?" 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 "Very well; I'll leave you no excuse for your 
 disbelief. I '11 see if I can find these ladies, and 
 agree upon a time to meet. Now let me have 
 your explanation of the scene I witnessed here 
 just now." 
 
 " I will explain, and to your perfect satisfac- 
 tion, if you will Avait until we see the ladies of 
 the Board."
 
 A COMPkOMISING SITUATION. 73 
 
 " What has that to do with this ? " 
 
 " It has everything to do with it ! It will fur- 
 nish you a key, without which you cannot under- 
 stand me." 
 
 " All this is beyond my comprehension. This 
 is not a matter to be trifled with ; and I tell you, 
 Rachel, if you do not make your innocence ap- 
 pear, this will be a sorry day for you." 
 
 " My innocence will appear, and I only ask 
 for this delay that it may be clear to you." 
 
 " Well, well, I '11 wait ; you shall have the 
 advantage of the key." 
 
 "And, Joseph, don't forget that you must make 
 your innocence appear." 
 
 "As to this Miranda Trap?" 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 " That is a very easy matter." 
 
 " I hope so." 
 
 "I know so! You did not expect me in this 
 morning ?" 
 
 "No." 
 
 " Had you, I should have missed the sight of 
 your carpet-knight, no doubt." 
 
 " You agreed to leave that subject for the 
 present." 
 
 " And so I will. I came back to get some 
 papers that I need. I will get them and be 
 off. I will try to see the ladies of the Board 
 while I am out."
 
 74 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 Here Joseph left the room to find his papers, 
 and very soon he left the house. 
 
 When Mr. Pelter had placed a sufficient dis- 
 tance between himself and Joseph Smith, he at- 
 tempted to resume his usual stately walk and 
 mien. It was impossible. His great heart throb- 
 bed with grief unspeakable. No more, for him, 
 the sweet and cheap delights of charity ! No 
 more bouquets, or choice perfumes, from that 
 moral garden where he used to snuff the odorous 
 air ! No more companionship with the congenial 
 spirits of the Ladies' Board ! His glory had de- 
 parted, and even his " My-rmdf?/" had called him 
 ODIOUS ! " 
 
 If Alexander wept for other worlds to con- 
 quer — and it was a very silly thing to do — 
 would he not have fairly howled if he had lost 
 by one sharp stroke of fate all the teeming 
 worlds over which Ezekiel had held his gentle 
 sway? That broad domain extended, as Ezekiel 
 used to sing, 
 
 " From Greenland's icy mountains 
 To India's coral strand." 
 
 But Hope would not desert him utterly, and 
 she sent a glint from her flickering lamp. Would 
 not Rachel lay her troubles on his " 5oo-som," 
 and fill the aching void beneath his waistcoat? 
 Living on this slender, single hope, he proceeded 
 sadly to his house. He entered, and retired to
 
 A COMPROMISING SITUATION. 75 
 
 his favorite room. He should have kept away 
 from there, for too many recollections of his de- 
 parted glory were suggested by the strange and 
 miscellaneous contents of that little room. 
 
 Here were tracts, and circulars, and charity 
 appeals — all the coinage of his cunning brain — 
 strewn in disorder on his table. Now, they 
 seemed to him like dead, inodorous flowers on a 
 grave of buried hopes. 
 
 It was too much : and in an agony of spirit 
 which convulsed his frame, he sat down and 
 stretching his arms upon the table, bowed his 
 head upon them, and Avith a groan surrendered 
 to despair. 
 
 While thus contending with emotion, he heard 
 a voice — a familiar voice — and one most pain- 
 fully distinct. 
 
 The voice cried, '•'• Pelter I'''' 
 
 What a harsh and jangling discord in the 
 bitter-sweets of Ezekiel's memories ! He slowly 
 raised his head and looked around. There stood 
 his wife — his "cross" — with sleeves rolled up and 
 fury blazing in her eyes. Her sleeves were not 
 rolled up with reference to any pugilistic exer- 
 cise, but because she was engaged in the unro- 
 mantic lal)ors of her " washing:." 
 
 " Do I look like a woman to be trifled with ? " 
 she asked. 
 
 " No, indeed ! " Ezekiel answered, with a sud-
 
 76 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 den quake of fear. Nor did she look like a 
 woman to be trifled with. 
 
 Then she stepped briskly forward, and before 
 Ezekiel could recover from astonishment, she 
 bundled up his tracts, and circulars, and charity 
 appeals, and all his precious manuscripts, and 
 took them from the room. She was not long 
 away. When she returned. Ezekiel asked what 
 she had done with them. 
 
 " They 're ashes ! '" was the furious answer. 
 
 Ezekiel groaned. 
 
 "Now,"' said Mrs. Pelter, "I want to have a 
 talk with you I Tell me first, who is Rachel ? " 
 
 As quick as thoughts could flash, they pointed 
 Mr. Pelter to the letter so carefully concealed. 
 By an involuntary motion, his hand rested on 
 the pocket where he had placed it. It was gone. 
 
 "You needn't look for that!" said she; "I 
 have the letter. Who is she ? I ask." 
 
 Ezekiel's ideas of moral duty, as he had ex- 
 pounded them to Rachel when he urged her to 
 read what was not intended for her eye, were 
 coming home to roost ; and now he really held 
 quite different views. But he did not state them. 
 He thought it best to answer Mrs. Pelter. 
 
 " She is Mrs. Smith," said he, now quite sub- 
 dued. 
 
 "What Mrs. Smith?" 
 
 " Mrs. Joseph Smith."
 
 A COMPROMISING SITUATION. 77 
 
 " Is she a member of your Board of Holy 
 Petticoats ?" 
 'No." 
 
 " What did she want of you ? " 
 " She wanted to consult with me." 
 "What about?" 
 
 " Some trouble with her husband." 
 " I-n-d-e-e-d ! And did you console her?" 
 " She had been much abused, and- I felt sorry 
 for her." 
 
 " Good man ! Did you console her ? " 
 " Well, yes ; I trust I gave her help." 
 " Now, Pelter ! I find that by helping heathen 
 and your neighbors' wives, you are so much 
 occupied that your own house sees but little of 
 you. From tliis time out, I shall give these 
 ladies notice that I must have your help. I 
 think, upon the whole, that I shall advise you 
 to have less to do with other peoples' wives, and 
 more with your own. 
 
 " Oh," cried Mr. Pelter, anxiously, " the ladies 
 Avill not trouble you again." 
 
 "What? Is Ihat what troubles you? Have 
 they sent you adrift at last to get an honest 
 living ? Are there no more crumbs for the saintly 
 Mr, P-e-1-t-e-e-r ? Then come with me; I'll show 
 you how you can be useful ! " 
 
 " What do you want with me ? " asked the poor 
 man dazed.
 
 78 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " I '11 show you ; come along." 
 
 He followed her until they reached the kitchen. 
 
 "Do you see that pile of clothes?" she asked, 
 pointing to the washing in a tub. 
 
 " Of course I see it," said Ezekiel. 
 
 " Well, take off your coat and help me with 
 them." 
 
 " Help — you — w-a-s-h ! " 
 
 "Yes! You've washed more dirty linen in 
 your Board than you '11 find here ! Shall I help 
 you with your coat ? " 
 
 Saying this, she took hold of Ezekiel' s coat, 
 and in spite of all his protestations, soon had it 
 off. 
 
 " Now let me tie this apron on," she said ; 
 and she took a long and faded apron, and tied 
 it on, then placed him by the tub, and showed 
 him how to turn the wringer, while she sup- 
 plied it.
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 MR. PELTEE, IS AGAIN A JOSS, 
 
 Joseph sent over to the rooms of the Ladies' 
 Board, as soon as he had ascertained where they 
 could be found, and asked if they could fix an 
 early day to receive himself and wife. The 
 ladies were unusually excited when the messen- 
 ger arrived, but they consulted for a moment 
 and fixed upon the following day. Tlie messen- 
 ger then retired, and reported their conclusion. 
 
 The unusual excitement in the Board when the 
 messenger arrived was caused by the report of 
 a committee just returned from the discharge of 
 an important duty. The report cannot be fully 
 comprehended without a circumstantial detail of 
 the action of the Board in relation to it. 
 
 After Mr. Pelter had retired, leaving Miranda 
 
 in hysterics, as related in a former chapter, the 
 
 ladies began to clear the moral atmosphere. It 
 
 was determined, from tlie first, that Miranda Trap 
 
 was the unconscious victim of some infamous 
 4 7g
 
 80 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 design. It had not occurred to them till now 
 that Mr. Pelter might be the guilty man. 
 
 Miranda had distinctly charged him with try- 
 ing to "deceive" and "tempt" her. What did 
 she mean by this? And what did Mr. Pelter 
 mean by his references to Joseph Smith? 
 
 Here was a better field for microscopic search 
 than they had had of late, and they determined 
 to improve the opportunity. They began by 
 questioning Miranda — she still indulging in a 
 copious overflow of tears. 
 
 " Now, Miranda," said the Austere Member, 
 let us hear your explanation. What did you 
 mean by charging Mr. Pelter with trying to ' de- 
 ceive ' and ' tempt ' you ? " 
 
 With interjected sobs, Miranda answered, "He 
 — has — deceived — us — all I " 
 
 "How?" "How?" "How?" 
 
 Inquired the different members of the Board. 
 
 " By pretending that he knew Joseph Smith, 
 and telling us about a pretended interview with 
 him. This is false ! He never saw him until 
 to-day ! And if he would falsify in this, would 
 he not in other things ? " 
 
 "True;" "True;" "True;" replied the mem- 
 bers of the Board. 
 
 "But how do you know that this was false?'' 
 asked the Austere Member. 
 
 " Why, Mr. Smith said it was," replied Mi-
 
 MR. PELTER IS AGAIN A JOSS, 81 
 
 randa, " and he said that Mr. Pelter was a hypo- 
 crite ! " 
 
 This was a serious charge indeed, and it caused 
 serious looks upon the faces of the Board. 
 
 "How has he tried to •'tempt' you?" con- 
 tinued the Austere Member, now with stern judi- 
 cial gravity. 
 
 "In ev-ery way!" sobbed Miranda. "He has 
 tried to secure my af-/gc-tions ! And — oh, for- 
 give me, ladies, for I had no thought of wrong 
 — he — did!" 
 
 With this confession she broke down, and all 
 the members raised their hands in horror. 
 
 To say that the Board was shocked by tliis 
 disclosure, is to convey but a very faint impres- 
 sion of the real sensation, 
 
 " She is so impulsive ! " one remarked. 
 
 "Poor child!" another said. 
 
 " And he a married man ! " a third exclaimed. 
 
 " We should have kept a l)etter watch on 
 him," was the judicial comment of the Austere 
 Member. And abuse rained down upon the im- 
 aginary head of Mr. Pelter, sufficient, had it 
 fallen on his actual head, to have crushed him 
 utterly. They were so indignant that, for the 
 moment, they forgot the peculiar conduct of Mr. 
 Smith. Miranda was a victim. Tliis, in itself, 
 was a great point gained b\^ lier. It did not 
 occur to one of them to inquire how far Miran-
 
 82 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 da's gushing passion was in fault, and whether, 
 after all, Ezekiel Avas not more sinned against 
 than sinning. 
 
 Miranda, under this strong support of sympathy, 
 very soon recovered ; and as a victim, she was 
 actually caressed by all the members of the Board. 
 
 " And this," said one, " is why he was so furi- 
 ous at Mr. Smith ! " 
 
 " Oh yes ! I had forgotten Mr. Smith," said 
 the Austere Member. " Tell us what he said to 
 you, Miranda." 
 
 Miranda told them what he said ; but not how 
 she had received it, or how she looked at him. 
 
 " In this there was nothing in the least im- 
 proper," was the verdict of the Board : " but 
 why did lie make that ridiculous suggestion as 
 to blankets for South Africa ? And why did he 
 run away so suddenly ? " 
 
 Miranda laughed — a genuine laugh — at this, 
 and then explained that it was but a bit of plea- 
 santry in Mr. Smith, and that he was obliged 
 to go away ; so he had told her. 
 
 " But," said Miranda, " he told me he would 
 come again some other day, and give you any 
 information he was able to." 
 
 So Miranda spurned her broken idol, and ex- 
 cused her new divinity ; order was restored and 
 the moral atmosphere was cleared. Mr. Smith 
 was vindicated and Ezekiel doomed.
 
 MR. PELTER IS AGAIN A JOSS. 83 
 
 After this, by formal vote, Mr. Pelter was in- 
 definitely suspended from the Board, and a com- 
 mittee was appointed to notify the fallen man. 
 The committee fixed upon the day of Ezekiel's 
 visit to the distracted Rachel for their official 
 visit. They had often been at Mr. Pelter's house 
 before, and the good man usually appeared from 
 his little room, to receive and welcome them. 
 Expecting now that he would answer it, they 
 rang the bell. 
 
 The tinkle reached the kitchen, and suspended 
 operations there. 
 
 "The bell!" cried Mr. Pelter, with the handle 
 of the wringer in his hand. 
 
 '•I'll answer it," said Mrs. Pelter, and she 
 started for the door. 
 
 "Tell them that I am out I — left the city! — 
 dead ! " cried Mr. Pelter after her ; but she was 
 out of hearing. 
 
 "Is Mr. P-e-1-t-e-e-r in?" inquired the com- 
 mittee. 
 
 " He is," said Mis. Pelter, very stiffly. " Would 
 you like to see him?" 
 
 " If you please," the committee answered. 
 
 " Step this way," said Ezekiel's " cross." 
 
 She led them to the kitchen, opened the 
 kitchen door, and stood aside for them to enter. 
 They stopped upon the threshold, speechless with 
 amazement. There stood Ezekiel ! — the Moral
 
 84 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 Paragon ! — the broken monument of Charity ! — 
 standing by the wash-tub and perspiring in the 
 rising steam. 
 
 Red as he was from the unaccustomed exer- 
 cise, he was redder still from shame, when he 
 looked down and saw his long and faded apron. 
 In a sudden frenzy, which for the moment was 
 superior to any fear of consequences, he tore the 
 apron off and trampled on it. Then, with greater 
 dignity, he took his coat and put it on, and 
 with his lofty and commanding bow and gesture 
 to the members of the Board, walked proudly 
 from the kitchen. 
 
 Mrs. Pelter saw that for the moment her au- 
 thority was gone, and without a word she saw 
 Ezekiel escort the ladies to his little room. 
 
 Here the scene was too affecting for descrip- 
 tion. The little room looked cheerless now, for 
 its sun was veiled : the familiar table was as 
 empty as light promises : the tracts, and circu- 
 lars, and charity appeals were nowhere to be 
 seen ! 
 
 " Where are your documents ? " inquired one, 
 with a sad and pitying look at the empty table. 
 
 There was a look of injured innocence on Eze- 
 kiel's face, as he replied : 
 
 " Where are all my ' good deeds past ? ' 
 
 ' Devour'd 
 As fast as made ! Forgot as soon as done ! ' "
 
 " Ezekiel was standing by the wash-tub and perspiring in the 
 
 rising steam."
 
 MR. PELTER IS AGAIN A JOSS. 87 
 
 " No, no I Do not say that ! " said the previ- 
 ous speaker; and the ladies began to melt. Eze- 
 kiel noticed this, and was quick to take advan- 
 tage of it. Clasping his hands, and with a 
 peculiar motion of his lips, familiar to provincial 
 favorites in high tragedy — a sort of tragic slob- 
 bering — he fairly crushed them with a sense of 
 their ingratitude. 
 
 " And now," said he, in closing his masterly 
 appeal to their emotions. " You see the inglor- 
 ious end of all my willing services! Wringing 
 clothes at a dirty wash-tub ! " 
 
 With this, his feelings seemed to overpower 
 him, for he sank down into a chair, and bowed 
 his head upon the table. It was a scene to make 
 the very gods look down in pity. Afterward, in 
 describing it, the committee said that they were 
 so overwhelmed that they could think of noth- 
 ing but Ezekiel's misery. 
 
 With tearful eyes, a melted member asked : 
 "Why did you tell us, Mr. Pelter, that you 
 knew Joseph Smith, and had seen him at his 
 house ? " 
 
 " Because I did and had ! " said Mr. Pelter, 
 raising his head. " He denies it that he may 
 discredit me ! And why ! Because I know his 
 wicked purposes, and am determined to defeat 
 them ! " 
 
 " What purposes ? " the committee asked.
 
 88 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 "His designs upon M.j-rindy ! ^'' said Ezekiel, 
 rising up in great excitement. 
 
 "But that has been explained; there was really 
 nothing in it." 
 
 "Who says so?" 
 
 " Miranda." 
 
 " From bad to worse ! From bad — to — 
 worse ! " 
 
 "What do you mean?" 
 
 " Why she has begun to practice what she 
 learned from him ! " 
 
 " What ? " 
 
 " Deception ! " 
 
 "How?" 
 
 " She is in correspondence with him — now ! 
 and in language of a peculiar character. Am- 
 orous, some would call it. She asks him to fix 
 a time and place for a private meeting, and 
 tells him that I have turned suspicion on them. 
 And that though she '11 not confess, she fears her 
 face tells something. And, for all my efforts 
 in her behalf, she calls me 0-D-i-o-u-s ! " 
 
 " Why, Mr. P-e-1-t-e-e-r, this is impossible ! it 
 is too shocking ! Who told you this ? " 
 
 " I saw her letter ! " 
 
 " Where ? " 
 
 " In the hands of Rachel Smith ! " 
 
 "The wife of Joseph Smith?" 
 
 " His most unhappy wife ! "
 
 MR. PELTER IS AGAIN A JOSS, 89 
 
 " And you say that you did know liim, and 
 did call on him as you represented? " 
 
 " Most assuredly I did ! " 
 
 This information and these serious charges were 
 too startling to be acted on without a consult- 
 ation. While they consulted, Mr. Pelter stood 
 with folded arms ; and now he first noticed his 
 jealous wife, standing just within the door. 
 
 "A pretty lot, the whole of you!" said she, 
 as she caught Ezekiel's eye. " I told you that 
 your Board had more dirty linen to be washed 
 than my kitchen held ! Now tell these moral 
 scavengers about your precious letter — and amor- 
 ous too — from this dear, unhappy Rachel Smith!" 
 
 With this she seemed to scent infection in the air, 
 for she turned up her nose and quitted the room. 
 
 The committee turned to Mr. Pelter, and one 
 of them inquired : " What is that ? — the letter 
 she speaks of ? — from Mrs. Smith ? " 
 
 Mr. Pelter was embarrassed. After a moment's 
 hesitation, he replied : 
 
 " My wife — you know — is — pe-culiar." 
 
 The tone and look with which he spoke were 
 more significant than the spoken words. They 
 smiled aiid nodded, as if to say, " We under- 
 stand; she makes these foolish statements simply 
 to annoy you." 
 
 Then Mr. Pelter smiled, for he felt assured 
 
 that he was re-established in their confidence. 
 4*
 
 yO THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " Now, Mr. P-e-1-t-e-e-r," said a member of 
 the committee, " we have concluded to give you 
 an opportunity to confound your enemies and put 
 them to confusion. We will arrange some way 
 for Mr. Smith to meet the Board again ; you 
 will be there, and in presence of us all you can 
 confront, and, if possible, expose him." 
 
 At first Ezekiel was very far from pleased 
 with this arrangement, for the weakness of his 
 flesh was a very heavy drag upon his valiant 
 spirit. Then he considered that he would be safe 
 from injury in the presence of the Board ; and 
 with this reflection, he replied that nothing could 
 please him more. 
 
 So they parted : Ezekiel with reviving hope, 
 and the committee with the sad reflection that 
 Miranda was the guilty one. 
 
 It was the return and report of this commit- 
 tee that caused the unusual excitement when the 
 messenger from Joseph Smith appeared before the 
 Board. They reported privately ; that is, they 
 informed the members individually of what they 
 had discovered ; and every member was informed 
 except Miranda. The conclusion was, that on the 
 following day, when Mr. Smith was present, and 
 Ezekiel and Miranda in attendance, they would 
 investigate, and fix the guilt where it properly 
 belonged. 
 
 It seemed as though Ezekiel now would step
 
 MR. PELTER IS AGAIN A JOSS. 91 
 
 into Miranda's niclie, and she be tumbled out of 
 it. So uncertain is the foothold of our idols. 
 
 On the following day, when the Board con- 
 vened, there was a look of some anxiety on all 
 their faces ; but on the faces of Ezekiel and 
 Miranda it was most marked. Ezekiel could not 
 feel exactly comfortable when he thought of 
 meeting Joseph Smith, and his ear woidd buiu 
 in spite of him: while Miranda could only bear 
 the chilly atmosphere which surrounded her by 
 drawing on the fires of her passion for the ex- 
 pected visitor. 
 
 Joseph Smith at length arrived, accompanied 
 by Rachel. The members all rose up and bowed ; 
 then Joseph bowed. Mr. Pelter was the only 
 one he had ever seen before ; and Mr. Pelter he 
 did not deign to notice. Ezekiel flushed at this, 
 and the ladies seemed surprised. Miranda's heart 
 was in such a flutter that she could not restrain 
 her mounting blushes ; and when Joseph looked 
 in her direction, she gave him such a smile as 
 made him pause and look at her attentively. 
 But his look was cold and curious — nothino' like 
 the smiling look of John. Her gushing heart 
 grew heavy as she noticed this, and the meteors 
 all disappeared from her flaming face, and left it 
 pale and anxious. 
 
 " I beg your pardon for this intrusion, ladies," 
 Joseph commenced; "but I am anxious to clear
 
 92 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 up, if possible, some strange mistakes and mis- 
 understandings." 
 
 Curiosity was now alert, and every ear erect. 
 " Is there such a person present," he continued, 
 " as Miranda Trap ? " 
 
 Now the meteors tilted in Miranda's face again, 
 and then they died away and left it paler than 
 before. 
 
 " You know her," replied the Austere Member, 
 in astonishment, " and must know that she is 
 present." 
 
 Here Rachers look was keen, and she threw 
 a sharp, quick glance at Mr. Pelter. 
 
 " Pardon me," said Joseph, with a bow, " but 
 I never saw her in my life. Will you introduce 
 me, or point her out to me ? " 
 
 " This is ridiculous ! " said an indignant mem- 
 ber ; and she was interrupted by Miranda, who 
 cried out in real distress : 
 
 " O, Mr. Smith ! this is too much ! too cruel 
 in you ! And that, too, after all you said to 
 me ! 0-0-0-0 ! " 
 
 Every one but Joseph felt quite touched by 
 this wail of agony, and even Rachel looked on 
 her with pity, and on him with evident con- 
 tempt. 
 
 " You, then, are Miranda Trap ! " said Joseph, 
 turning to her. 
 
 " You know I am ! you wicked and deceitful
 
 MR. PELTER IS AGAIN A yOSS. 93 
 
 man ! " cried the outraged maiden, in a furious 
 tempest of passion. 
 
 " I am very glad to find you," said Joseph, 
 calmly, but evidently confused, " for I have been 
 fighting shadows long enough. Nov/, let me ask 
 you why you wrote this letter to me ? " 
 
 Here he held out the letter read by Rachel 
 and Ezekiel. Ezekiel groaned. 
 
 "O — you — wretch!" now fairly shrieked the 
 furious maiden. " You shall not expose the feel- 
 ings of my heart in this cruel, cruel way!" 
 
 With a panther's bound she sprung to him, 
 and caught the letter from his hand. The Aus- 
 tere Member's face was hard and rigid now, and 
 Rachel's had the chiseled look of the day before. 
 
 Joseph was more bewildered every instant, and 
 in actual desperation he commenced again. 
 
 " Now, ladies, answer me this question, will 
 you ? I ask it to satisfy my wife. She insists 
 that I have been here before, and, that I here 
 met Miranda Trap. I Avant you, at least, to 
 clear me in this respect. Did you ever see me 
 here before ? " 
 
 "Yes ! " " Yes ! " " Yes ! " came hi various 
 keys of indignation from nearly every member of 
 the Board. 
 
 Joseph was dumbfounded. 
 
 "Mr. Smith!" l)egan the Austere Member, with 
 her severest look, " if you have compromised
 
 94 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 yourself with this foolish and impulsive girl, and 
 now attempt to satisfy your wife by this bold 
 repudiation, do not come to us to aid you in 
 your base deception ! You should have known 
 us better than to think that we could be em- 
 ployed as instruments in such a sinful thing. 
 You know that you were here, and that you met 
 Miranda here. We know it to our sorrow ! For- 
 tunately for her your designs have been un- 
 masked. Except for Mr. Pelter here — and he 
 has suffered for his noble conduct " (here she 
 waved her hand toward Mr. Pelter) — " you 
 might yet be leading this thoughtless and im- 
 prudent girl to ruin ! " 
 
 This public recognition of his services caused 
 EzekieFs heart to faifly dance within him ; and 
 he rose up, and with his hand upon his waist- 
 coat, bowed profoundly. 
 
 " I have seen an exhibition of Mr. Pelter's 
 ' noble conduct,' " said Joseph, with a sneer, 
 " and he no doubt preserves a lively recollection 
 of it. I warn him now, and here, to be very 
 careful, or he will not get off so well again." 
 
 Ezekiel's fleshly weakness here caused him to 
 tremble, but when he heard a member say : 
 
 " Hear him threaten ! Mr. Pelter has too many 
 friends!" his reviving spirits nerved his legs, and 
 he stood firm. 
 
 " Then you have seen Mr. Pelter ! " cried the
 
 MR. PELTER IS AGAIN A yOSS, 95 
 
 Austere Member. " When you were here before 
 you said you had never seen him." 
 
 " I never said so ! I never even spoke of 
 him ! " said Joseph, hotly ; " and, as I have al- 
 ready told you, I was never here before I " 
 
 Then he turned to Rachel, in his sore per- 
 plexity, and asked : 
 
 "Is this a mad-house? Or, am I demented?" 
 
 He only met a cold, hard smile on Rachel's 
 face, and she replied : 
 
 " This was to be your test ! Are you satis- 
 fied ? " 
 
 " No ! " he thundered. 
 
 " I AM ! " said she. " You are a guilty man ! 
 What Mr. Pelter said of you has been here 
 confirmed ! He proved a tT:'uer friend to me than 
 you ! " 
 
 Here Mr. Pelter began to swell again, with 
 self-approval, for even liis questionable acts began 
 to look like virtues. Had Rachel really lain 
 upon his " Joo-som," perhaps, in some mysterious 
 way, that would have proved the crowning vir- 
 tue of them all. Such thoughts were very com- 
 forting. 
 
 Now, this cold, hard woman, who turned upon 
 her husband with a front of stone, crossed over 
 to Miranda with a look of gentle pity in her 
 eyes. She put lier hand on Miranda's head, in a 
 caressing way, and said to her :
 
 96 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " Poor child ! I am very sorry for you. You 
 have been cheated in a dream — and it was not 
 a virtuous dream, I fear — who can tell? — God 
 knows — but in a little time you will recover, 
 and even be the better for the lesson. I have 
 been cheated of my very life, and cannot recov- 
 er ! or — ever — be — the better — for it ! God help 
 us all — and pity — ME ! " 
 
 This was all so sudden, so unexpected, and so 
 majestic in its simplicity, that every one was 
 filled with a reverential awe. Then Rachel turned 
 and said : " Good ladies, I thank you for your 
 frankness, and for your refusal to assist a guilty 
 man in his deceptions." 
 
 Without another word to any one, and without 
 looking at her husband, she walked away. Jo- 
 seph rushed wildly after her. 
 
 For a moment after they had gone, no one 
 spoke a word. Had an angel suddenly appeared 
 among them, and rebuked them for their ever- 
 lasting search for something to condemn, they 
 could not have been more thoroughly astonished 
 than when they saw this stern-faced woman en- 
 courage virtue by lessons from our frailties, and 
 then pity and forgive, where she had cause for 
 hatred. 
 
 There were chords in Rachel's heart — as there 
 are in every one's, however rough the instrument 
 may look — which, when touched by skillful fin-
 
 MR. PELTER IS AGAIN A JOSS. 97 
 
 gers, will discourse the sweetest harmonies. They 
 were the chords of love and charity, with which 
 the Soul of Harmony strings all oar hearts, and 
 when we find them jangling out of tune it is 
 because our hands have tried to clianoe their 
 perfect key. 
 
 It was well for the now crushed and penitent 
 Miranda that such chords were struck, for their 
 vibrations reached, and set in corresj)onding mo- 
 tion, like chords among her fellows. Ezekiel was 
 among the first to feel the pulse ; and his heart 
 Hew open witli a sudden gush of Pelterean chari- 
 ty. Now 1)landness settled on his face, with a 
 brighter shimmer, and Ezekiel was " himself 
 again." 
 
 Miranda, taking courage from his look, felt her 
 heart thrill, and in a penitential voice she cried : 
 " O, forgive me, Mr. P-o-l-t-e-e-r ! " 
 
 What could Mr. Pelter do but step up to her, 
 and with his hands above her head, in an atti- 
 tude of benediction, say : " Behold, how good and 
 how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together 
 in unity ! " 
 
 From this nettle of distrust the Board thus 
 plucked the flower of harmony, and in Miranda's 
 impulsive heart, Ezekiel was again a Joss, all 
 spangled with her tears of penitence.
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 VIRTUOUS ZEAL LEADS MR. PELTER IISiTO DANGER. 
 
 When John returned from his visit to the 
 Board, he related to his wife his curious expe- 
 rience. His striking pictures of Mr. Pelter and 
 Miranda were particularly admired ; and they 
 served with Julia, for mau}^ a day, as targets for 
 her fun. Not long after this, and soon after the 
 exciting incidents just related, Ezekiel and Mi- 
 randa were on the street together, on some good 
 work of charity. 
 
 John and Julia were also on the street that 
 day, and it so happened that they met each 
 other. Julia recognized the missionary twain from 
 John's description ; and with laughing eyes she 
 called John's attention to them. 
 
 Thei/ were looking in theh' direction, and there 
 seemed to be a look of horror on their faces. 
 John stopped, and bowed, and smiled, but the 
 twain did not seem inclined to stop. Miranda, 
 blushing first, then growing pale, turned her face 
 away ; and Ezekiel stared, but he stared at Julia, 
 and did not deign to notice John. 
 
 98
 
 " He 's got another IVoo - man."
 
 MR. PELTER LED INTO DANGER. 101 
 
 As they passed, John heard Ezekiel say : 
 " He 's o-ot another «<?oo-man ! " 
 
 Juha heard him, too, and she quickly asked : 
 " What 's that John ? He says you Ve got an- 
 other Avoman." 
 
 John only laughed, and said, " They seem to 
 be offended." 
 
 " Why," continued Julia, " the fair Miranda 
 would not even look at 3'ou." 
 
 " And Mr. Pelter did look at you," said John. 
 
 '• What made her color so, and seem so much 
 confused and fluttered ? " 
 
 " I do n't know." 
 
 "It's ver}^ queer!" persisted Julia; then, look- 
 ing squarely in her husband's face, she added : 
 " John, you hav' n't been talking nonsense to that 
 girl, have you?" 
 
 " Why, no ! " said John. " What are you think- 
 ing of?" So the subject dropped: by John to 
 be forgotten ; by Julia to be stored away in lier 
 place for curiosities. 
 
 When Ezekiel and Miranda returned to the 
 ladies' rooms, they had a new sensation Un- the 
 Board. It was opportune; for their ''fields" 
 were very sterile now, and tliey longed for oc- 
 cupation. 
 
 "Another one I" exclaimed an excited member, 
 after Mr. Peltei" bad finished liis acconnt of the 
 street eiiconnter, with apt embellishments of speech.
 
 102 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 "What next?" exclaimed another. 
 
 "How did she look?" inquired a third. 
 
 This was the question of substantial interest 
 to all, and they waited for Ezekiel's answer. 
 
 "Well — she was fi ne -looking ! " said Ezekiel : 
 and he spoke Avith kindling eyes and watering 
 mouth, — like children, sometimes, when they talk 
 of luscious peaches. "I may say spZew-did ! " he 
 continued, after, in imagination, another taste. 
 
 " Perhaps it was an acquaintance merely," sug- 
 gested one, in a regretful tone ; as though they 
 might be cheated after all, and lose some pun- 
 gent scandal. 
 
 " Oh, no ! ' replied Ezekiel. " They were by 
 far too sweet for that. Eh, ^ij-riyuly ? Did you 
 notice how they seemed to lean and hang on 
 one another?" 
 
 " I did n't look at them ! " replied Miranda, 
 with a lofty look of scorn. 
 
 "What is our duty in the matter?" asked the 
 Austere Member ; and she spoke as though she 
 thought they really had a duty in the matter. 
 
 " I think," said one, " that we should keep 
 an eye on them." 
 
 " And so do I," another said : and that opinion 
 seemed to have the support of all. 
 
 " Mr. P-e-1-t-e-e-r," suggested another, " why 
 can't 3^ou keep watcli ? " 
 
 " I never shrink from duty, ma'am ! " was Eze-
 
 MR. PELTER LED INTO DANGER. 103 
 
 kiel's noble answer ; and he secretly rejoiced that 
 he could gratify himself under a commission so 
 high-sounding as that of duty. Before the Board 
 adjourned, Ezekiel was commissioned. 
 
 For many days, in spite of all his diligence, 
 Mr. Pelter's watch was unsuccessful. But per- 
 severance, in the end, unless exhausted in at- 
 tempts at the impossible — a limitation which 
 makes a fallacious adage nearer true — will suc- 
 ceed. He at last espied the " other «(;oo-man." 
 She was engaged in shopping on a business 
 street, and after Mr. Pelter had caught sight of 
 her, he gave no opportunity for escape. 
 
 Julia, in her pre-occupation, and in the hurry- 
 ing throng upon the street, did not notice him. 
 Had she been even more observing, she would 
 not have seen him, for he dodged and concealed 
 himself in a way that would have honored a 
 professional detective. 
 
 Usually, Julia had her carriage with her, but 
 now it was laid up with some rheumatic diffi- 
 culty, and she patronized the more democratic 
 carriages of the streets. Ezekiel followed her 
 from place to place, until he felt nearly ready 
 to give up the chase, Avhen he saw her call a 
 stage. He hurried forward and stepped in be- 
 hind her. Now Julia noticed him, and a smile 
 began to play upon her face. Ezekiel regarded 
 her as another victim, and his sympathetic heart
 
 104 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTRk. 
 
 was most decidedly moved in her direction. 
 But, of course, he did not speak to her. At 
 length she stopped the stage. 
 
 As she stepped out, Ezekiel followed her. 
 When she reached the pavement and started 
 on, she looked around and saw him following. At 
 this, she stopped before a window, and began 
 to look at articles there displayed for sale, think- 
 ing that Ezekiel would pass. But he also stopped 
 before another Avindow, and holding up his eye- 
 glasses, seemed entirely absorbed in something 
 unusually attractive there. Seeing this, Julia 
 started on. Then Ezekiel also started on. She 
 walked faster ; and so did he, until he began to 
 sweat and blow. Then she checked her pace, 
 and walked very, very slow ; and so did he. 
 
 " Now, convinced that he was really after her, 
 she hurried on, her feet winged with fear, until 
 she turned into another street and reached her 
 house. Slie ran up the steps and rang the bell. 
 Then she turned around to look for her pur- 
 suer. There he stood, but a little distance off', 
 looking at a house across the street, as though 
 examining it with a view to purchase. 
 
 As soon as she had disappeared within, Eze- 
 kiel walked along until he reached the house. 
 He saw a man engaged in shaving the well-kept 
 lawn, and stopped. Resting his arms upon the 
 fence, he looked over.
 
 MR. PELTER LED INTO DANGER. 105 
 
 *'A — hem!" said Mr. Pelter. And the man 
 looked up. 
 
 Mr. Pelter smiled and said : " Fine grounds, 
 
 sir." 
 
 The man, without replying, turned to his work 
 
 again. 
 
 "A — hem I " said Mr. Pelter, a little louder 
 than before ; and the man looked up again. 
 
 " Will you step here a moment ? " asked Mr. 
 Pelter. The man walked up to him. 
 
 " Who lives here ? " Ezekiel inquired. 
 
 "Mr. Smith." 
 
 " Does she live here with him ? " 
 
 "Who?" 
 
 " Why, that woman who just went in." 
 
 "Pretty likely, sir, for that's his wife." 
 
 "His — wife!" exclaimed Ezekiel. "Two wives 
 on hand, and looking for another ! Oh, ivhat a 
 world ! what a wicked world ! " Saying this, he 
 turned and walked awa}*. 
 
 "What did that man want?" asked Julia, from 
 a chamber window where slie had been standing 
 on the watch. 
 
 " Wh}^ ma'am," the man replied, looking up 
 to her, " he 's crazy." 
 
 "What did he want, I ask!" 
 
 " He asked me who lived here." 
 
 " Well ? " 
 
 "I told liiui Mr. Smith."
 
 lOG THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " Well ! " 
 
 '* He asked if yon lived here." 
 
 '' Well ? " 
 
 " I told him yes." 
 
 "Well, well — go on!" 
 
 " Then he said : ' T^A^o wives on hand, and 
 looking for another ! ' " 
 
 "Is that all?" 
 
 " That 's all, ma'am." 
 
 "What did he mean by that?" 
 
 "Don't know, ma'am — he didn't say — that's 
 all he said." 
 
 Julia withdrew, and put this conversation in 
 her place for curiosities. 
 
 When Mr. Pelter met the Board again he was 
 big with his discovery. His zeal was specially 
 commended, and every one declared that the 
 "work" was progressing favorably. 
 
 " Now, if we only had what the lawyers call 
 the fiagrante delicto.^ we could take active meas- 
 ures ! " one exclaimed. 
 
 " Do you suppose," was the judicial inquiry of 
 the Austere Member, speaking to Mr. Pelter, 
 " that you can track the man himself to his adul- 
 terous nest?" 
 
 " I can try," replied Ezekiel ; implying by his 
 tone and manner that he felt quite certain of his 
 ability to do so. 
 
 " Then do it," said the Board.
 
 MR. PELTER LED INTO DANGER. 107 
 
 This important matter being settled, and there 
 being nothing further of special interest in the 
 missionary field, the Board adjourned, to meet 
 again when Mr. Pelter should be read}^ to report. 
 
 How little are such guardians of our private 
 virtues appreciated by the vulgar throng ! 
 
 " But," as Ezekiel says, " their reward is sure 
 to come ; in another world, if not in this." Will 
 it smell of brimstone ? 
 
 Another interval of unsuccessful effort on the 
 part of Mr. Pelter. He gets occasional glimpses 
 of the man he hunts, but he can not track him 
 to his "nest" without discovering himself. This, 
 for obvious reasons, he is anxious to avoid : he 
 has not forgotten his ungraceful exit from Jo- 
 seph's house. He resolves, at last, to cliangc his 
 plan of operations — to wait for a dark and moon- 
 less night, when the unsuspecting man will be 
 snugly housed ; unless he is absent with his 
 other wife : in which event another trial must be 
 made. 
 
 Under cover of the darkness he could look 
 through illuminated windows, and, unperceived 
 himself, see everything within. It was as dark 
 as Erebus when he set out. He found the place, 
 and paused a moment to consider the most favor- 
 able approach. He would be less liable to ob- 
 servation from tlie street if he selected his position 
 in the rear. Tins determined him. Very cautiously 
 6
 
 1Q8 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 he made his way around the house. Not a 
 sound was heard, except the muffled palpitations 
 of Ezekiel's heart. Suddenly he stumbled over 
 some unseen object in the dark. With a bless- 
 ing on his pious lips, he fell upon " all fours," 
 with his bland face in a thorny bush ; now up 
 again, he stumbled on his way. At last he saw 
 a flood of light streaming from the windows in 
 the rear; the windows were too high. He walked 
 back toward the stable, to change the angle of 
 his vision, and finally, he could just perceive the 
 heads of John and Julia in the room. 
 
 "He's there!" said Mr. Pelter to himself, and 
 he began to feel about, to find some object on 
 which to stand for a better view. He found at 
 last a barrel — one used in carrying coal from 
 the alley to the house. With a word of gratu- 
 lation, he turned this over, — " bottom up." By 
 great exertion he finally succeeded in getting on 
 and standing up. Now his view was clear and 
 he saw distinctly. What he saw was sufficient 
 to satisfy the Board with exclamations for weeks 
 to come. 
 
 He saw Julia rise, and go up to John, and 
 then — sit down : not on another chair, but on 
 the lap of the suspected John ! Before he had 
 recovered from astonishment at seeing this, his 
 attention was required in a matter more exciting. 
 
 The house-dog, having been restrained by the
 
 MR. PELTER LED INTO DANGER. 109 
 
 coacliman in the stable, for a few restless mo- 
 ments, now came bounding from the stable door. 
 Ezekiel's odor struck him instantly ; and with no 
 reverence for sanctimonious scents, he made a 
 sudden leap, and struck the barrel on which 
 Ezekiel stood. Then ensued an animated con- 
 versation ; Ezekiel dancing all the time, now on 
 one foot, now on the other, on the barrel-head. 
 
 " Good doggie ! " said Ezekiel, in his most per- 
 suasive tone ; and then he jumped, to save his 
 bleedinq; calf from another bite. 
 
 " Bow-wow-wow ! " was the dogged answer ; 
 and then another snap, and another jump at 
 Ezekiel's legs. 
 
 " So, so ; good doggie ! nice doggie ! " continued 
 Mr. Pelter. 
 
 "Bow-wow-wow!"' the dog again replied. 
 
 Now the coachman, thoroughly aroused, rushed 
 forth, with a pitchfork in his hand. " S-c-c-c-ick ! 
 sick him, Leo ! Hold him there ! " the coach- 
 man cried, running to the battle-field with his 
 fork in rest. 
 
 At this most critical emergency the barrel-head 
 gave way, and Ezekiel dropped. The staves now 
 stood around him as a protecting shield to his 
 bleeding legs. The barrel made a snugger fit 
 than Ezekiel was accustomed to, and he could 
 not have got away if he had attempted to, with 
 no one to prevent.
 
 110 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " Thief! thief! thief! " the coachman shouted as 
 loud as he could cry. " At him, Leo ! at him ! " 
 
 The dog, thus stimulated, barked with greater 
 fury than before. 
 
 This confusion very soon attracted those in the 
 house, and John came hurrying out, with Julia 
 and the servants following after him. 
 
 " What is the matter ? " John called out. 
 
 " A thief ! We 've caught him ! " shouted back 
 the coachman. 
 
 John ran up, but it was too dark to distin- 
 guish anything. 
 
 A voice from the darkness now cried out : 
 " Do n't kill me, for Heaven's sake ! I am not 
 fit to die ! I always said I was, but it 's not so ! " 
 
 As John approached the barrel, the voice con- 
 tinued, " O, Mr. Smith, do n't let them kill me ! 
 I'll get down upon my knees to you! I am not 
 a thief!" 
 
 " Get 3^our lantern, Thomas," said John, speak- 
 ing to the coachman, " and throw some light on 
 this dark subject." 
 
 The lantern was already lighted, and the coach- 
 man went and returned with it within the in- 
 stant. John took the lantern and held it up to 
 ^ Mr. Pelter's face, and knew it at a glance ; then 
 looking at the barrel-trap, he laughed, and shout- 
 ed : " By all that 's wonderful ! A barrel-full of 
 charity ! "
 
 MR. PELTER LED INTO DANGER. Ill 
 
 Ezekiel groaned. 
 
 "What are you doing here, and at such a time 
 of night ? " asked John, when sufficiently recov- 
 ered. 
 
 " Oh, sir ! " said Mr. Pelter from the barrel, 
 " if you will let me off this time, I '11 never 
 trouble you again ! " 
 
 " But what, in the name of mischief, are you 
 here for?''' persisted John. 
 
 " You forget that you are not alone I " replied 
 Ezekiel, speaking in a lower tone, intended for 
 John's private ear. But Juha heard him, and 
 inquired, " What 's that ? " He did not answer. 
 She was curious. 
 
 " Help him out of here," said she, " and bring 
 him to the house for examination." 
 
 They contrived to pull him out, and John con- 
 tinued : " Now walk on, and we will follow." 
 
 When they reached the house, John conducted 
 Mr. Pelter to the room where he had seen the 
 shocking sight. Here the good man's sad con- 
 dition was, for the first time, fairly visible. His 
 face was scratched by the thorny bush on which 
 he fell, and some blood had started from the 
 scratches. While enojaoed with Leo at the bar- 
 rel, excessive perspiration had flowed the blood 
 to untouched portions of his face ; and when he 
 was finally released, he passed his coal-black 
 hands down and across his face, and streaked
 
 112 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 it with his fingers ; so his look was more like 
 a savage, smeared for the war path, than the 
 meek dependent of the Ladies' Board. His spot- 
 less waistcoat was all black with coal, and his 
 lower garments were torn and soiled in many 
 places. All this, with Mr. Pelter's frightened 
 looks, was too much for Julia's gravity ; and in 
 spite of all the stuffing in her mouth — for she 
 had crammed in her handkerchief — she suddenly 
 exploded with such a ring of laughter as set 
 the servants in a roar, where they were canvass- 
 ing the situation. John was nearly overcome as 
 well, but he managed to restrain himself, and, 
 smiling, said : 
 
 " Now, sir, let us hear what you have to say." 
 
 Ezekiel, without speaking, slyly made a motion 
 with his thumb in the direction of the lauffhins: 
 Julia. John could not comprehend this digital 
 expression, and he spoke again — now with some 
 impatience. 
 
 " Well, well, go on ! " 
 
 Had Mr. Pelter been in a less dangerous situa- 
 tion, and free from all embarrassment, he would 
 undoubtedly have improved the present opportu- 
 nity to rebuke, with great severity, what he re- 
 garded as the sinful lives of John and Julia ; but 
 prudential thoughts restrained him. 
 
 He thought that by concealing what he sup- 
 posed he knew of John's relation to the jealous
 
 ^::^^^ 
 
 m^ !! 
 
 %\^p\ 
 
 
 11 I' I. ' I jllU ' 1 
 
 "Mr. Pelter slyly made a motion with his thumb in the direction 
 of liic laughing Julia."
 
 MR. PELTER LED INTO DANGER. 115 
 
 Rachel, lie would conciliate the dangerous man. 
 So he cautiously replied : 
 
 " I was only standing on the barrel, sir, and 
 looking in." 
 
 '•But what possessed you to come and look in 
 here?"' asked Julia; now connecting in her mind 
 this stranoe behavior with that of Mr. Pelter's 
 following her, and his strange remark as to 
 John's " other zt'oo-man," and the dual wives. 
 
 " Why, ma"am," Ezekiel answered, with some 
 confusion, '■ I wanted — to see — if you were here 
 together — that's all." 
 
 This answer only deepened the mystery ; and 
 Julia was about to continue her examination, 
 when John turned to her and said : 
 
 " I beheve the man is cracked. At all events, 
 there seems to be no sense in what he says. I 
 think we had better let him off; he has been 
 severely punished, as it is, for his foolish curi- 
 osity." 
 
 " r)h, yes I — Ijy all means! — let him go! — if 
 you wish it so." 
 
 Her suspicions were thoroughly aroused by what 
 seemed to her John's anxiety to get Ezekiel off. 
 
 "Then you may go," said John; "and let this 
 experience be a lesson to you." 
 
 Ezekiel was not long in going ; and when he 
 fniiiid liimself alone, he said: "It was a lucky 
 thing for me that I knew about his Rachel! That
 
 IIG THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 knowledafe saved me. It would not do to be 
 severe with me. / miglit tell! But what will 
 Mrs. Pelter say when she sees me in this con- 
 dition ? She '11 put me in the wash-tub now, I 
 fear." 
 
 His duty first was to report to Rachel ; and 
 even in his soiled and tattered garments he made 
 his way to Rachel's house, and there reported his 
 discovery. With serious misgivings, he now pro- 
 ceeded to confront his ''• cross." What Mrs. Pel- 
 ter really did, or what she said to him, was 
 never known. He Avould never speak of it. But 
 it was remarked, after that unlucky night, that 
 he stood in greater fear of his spirited companion 
 than before ; and it was also noticed that, after 
 that, when she cried "Pelter!" he bounded 
 like a rubber ball. His face, too, had a care- 
 worn look, which all his blandness could not 
 entirely conceal. 
 
 After Mr. Pelter left the house, John and Julia 
 began to discuss the matter. 
 
 " This looks very strange to me," said Julia. 
 " Why should that man take such pains to look 
 in here ? " 
 
 "I don't know," was John's reply; "but as 
 near as I can ascertain, he belongs to a board of 
 meddlers in other people's matters." 
 
 " But why should such a Board direct its in- 
 quiries in this direction ? What is there here to
 
 MR. PELTER LED INTO DANGER. 117 
 
 excite tlieir curiosity ? That 's what puzzles 
 
 me!" 
 
 "Well, I admit it's strange; and I don't un- 
 derstand it any better than yourself." 
 
 " Why did you dismiss him before he was 
 thoroughly examined?" 
 
 " I spoke to you before dis-missing him, and I 
 understood you to assent to it." 
 
 " I assented, because you proposed it." 
 
 "Did you wish to question him?" 
 
 ''Well — yes. I did." 
 
 " You should have said so, then." 
 
 " You seemed in such a hurry to get him off. 
 
 "In a hurry ! Why no, my dear ; except that 
 I did not care to hear his foolish talk." 
 
 John spoke so naturally, and with such a show 
 of perfect frankness, that Julia began to (j^uestion 
 her suspicions. Then she thought that she would 
 see if John, in any way, could clear up some 
 other doubts. 
 
 " Do you know," said she, " that this same 
 Pelter followed me all the way from down town 
 the other day ? " 
 
 " No," John answered. " But was he follow- 
 ing you ? Was he not by chance going in the 
 same direction?" 
 
 " He was following me ! I tested him suffi- 
 ciently to know. Besides, after I came in, he 
 
 stopped and (|uestioned Thomas. He asked who 
 a*
 
 118 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 lived here, and when Thomas told hhn, he asked 
 if I lived here with you. Thomas told him that 
 I did, and that I was your wife. What do you 
 suppose he said?" 
 
 " That I was a lucky fellow." 
 
 " He said, ' two wives on hand, and looking 
 for another!' What did he mean by that?" 
 
 " Why the man is crazy ! I more than half 
 thought so before, but now it 's clear. What man 
 in his senses would get off such twaddle ? When 
 I met him first he acted in a very curious way, 
 and I thought that he was drunk — but that I 
 told you of." 
 
 " Then, when he met us on the street, and 
 spoke of your ' other woo-man,' he was crazy 
 too?" 
 
 " No doubt of it. I can understand it now. 
 He has something on his crazy mind about a 
 woman, and, perhaps, when he saw us on the 
 street that day, he associated you with her. 
 Queer freaks these fellows have sometimes. This 
 also will account for his following you, and for 
 his appearance here to-night. No sane man would 
 have perched himself upon a barrel, in the back 
 yard, to see if we were in, when a thousand 
 simpler ways were open to him. He could have 
 rung the bell, and walked in to see us. It must 
 be that the fellow 's daft. I 'm glad that we 
 were easy on him."
 
 MR. PELTER LED INTO DANGER. 119 
 
 All this seemed possible, and even reasonable, 
 Julia thought. And she was satisfied. 
 
 For some days after this Mr. Pelter did not 
 leave his house. These were dark days : and even 
 to tlih day a veil of darkness hides them. But 
 in these dark days the scratches on Ezekiel's 
 face and the bites upon his legs were healed. 
 Then Ezekiel emerged. And there was nothing 
 in his dress or look to recall the unlucky night. 
 But in Mr. Belter's manner there was some- 
 thing strange. He never stopped upon tlie street 
 without looking around, as though upon the 
 watch ; and sometimes he would fancy that he 
 saw the object of his fear, and then he would 
 dodge and conceal himself, or turn quickly into 
 another street. This fear was ever-present with 
 him, and he could not shake it oif, for it dogged 
 him — everywhere. A future chapter will disclose 
 the nature of this fear. 
 
 After he emerged, he sent notice to the Board, 
 and named a day when he would meet them at 
 theh rooms. At the appointed time, they all 
 assembled there, and when Mr. Pelter entered 
 he was greeted and much comforted by their 
 applause. It was understood among them that 
 he had made some astonishing discoveries, and 
 that the "cause" was much indebted to his moral 
 courage. They were impatient for the details. 
 Mr. Belter's natural modesty inclined him to at-
 
 120 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 tempt to check the enthusiasm of the Board in 
 his behalf ; but somehow, as it always happened 
 in such attempts, his words and manner only 
 served to make himself more prominent. 
 
 " It is not myself," said he, on this occasion, 
 " but the cause of virtue that has triumphed ! 
 I am but a worm ! an humble instrument ! " 
 
 This was very modest in Ezekiel, but any one 
 could see by his self-satisfied expression that he 
 did take personal credit, and feel a personal 
 triumph, and that he believed that all the vir- 
 tues revolved around himself and made their 
 center there. It was noticed, as he spoke, that 
 withal there was an anxious look upon his face, 
 and the cause of this he now proceeded to ex- 
 plain. 
 
 "I am walking in the constant fear of death!" 
 said he. " At any moment I may be stricken 
 down by this bold adulterer — this man of sin ! 
 If I fall, let it be remembered of me that I fell 
 in the noble cause of duty ! " 
 
 It is impossible to describe the imposing atti- 
 tude of Mr. Pelter as he delivered these affect- 
 ing words. The effect upon the Board was most 
 profound. 
 
 " In the cause of duty," continued Mr. Pelter, 
 " I am fearless ! Let the base assassin strike I 
 he will strike a fearless heart ! " 
 "What a noble man!" said a weeping member.
 
 MR. PELTER LED INTO DANGER. 121 
 
 "He shall not strike you," sobbed Miranda. 
 
 " But, to my report," continued Mr. Pelter, 
 and all were curious. " Our worst suspicions 
 are confirmed ! I have visited the abode of sin, 
 and I saw the damning proof ! It is for this he 
 threatens me, and seeks my life ! " 
 
 The sensation here was equal to Ezekiel's 
 wishes, and he paused to give it full effect. 
 
 " I saw," said he, impressively, and with great 
 dehberation, that handsome woo-man — sit down — " 
 Here he stopped al)ruptly and looked at his "Mi- 
 rindy."' 
 
 " Go on ! Go on ! " cried out the excited 
 members. 
 
 " Shall I go on ? " said he, with liis eyes still 
 fixed on the gushing vessel, " and l)lush those 
 vir^rin cheeks with shame ? " 
 
 "Oh, do go on!" called out the vessel, not 
 blushing in the least. 
 
 "I saw her — sit down," resumed Ezekiel, 
 " upon — liis — 1-a-p ! " 
 
 " Oh, shame ! " " Shame ! " " Shame ! " cried 
 the members of the Board; and Miranda now 
 put up her hands as if to hide her blushes — 
 although, in fact, there were no blushes there to 
 hide. 
 
 " But how was it, Mr. P-e-1-t-e-e-r," a member 
 asked, "that you saw all this? Did you go in?" 
 
 " I did," replied Ezekiel : but from some
 
 122 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 strange forgetfulness at the instant, or from the 
 excitement of the occasion, he did not make the 
 most distant reference to his point of observa- 
 tion, or to the manner of his entry. He then 
 related how, on the following day, Joseph Smith 
 came in search of him, and when he could not 
 find him, how he frightened Mrs. Pelter by his 
 murderous threats. In all of this, Ezekiel made 
 himself appear to be a much braver man than he 
 really was, and he assigned a cause for Joseph's 
 anger quite different from the actual cause, as 
 will appear when the proper scene is introduced. 
 This is to be regretted, since many readers may 
 be inclined to question Ezekiel's veracity, rather 
 than to admire liis peculiar imagery. He was 
 never known to swerve from the truth, when the 
 truth would serve as well as imagery. 
 
 The Board now centered all its sympathy on 
 the forsaken Rachel.
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 TABLEAUX VIVANTS, 
 
 When Rachel left the ladies' rooms, with 
 Joseph following her, she made every effort to 
 avoid him, but unsuccessfully. He followed her 
 with prayers and protestations, and would not be 
 shaken off; but she did not reply to him by so 
 much as a single word. Thus they walked along 
 until they reached their carriage. Then she 
 turned to him, and said : 
 
 "Which one of us shall get in here?" 
 
 " Yourself, of course, if only one," he an- 
 swered. 
 
 She stepped in, and he stood still until the 
 carriage turned and drove away. 
 
 The whole affair was so incomprehensible to 
 him that he knew not what to do. He saw that 
 in Rachel's present state he could not talk Avith 
 her, and who else could furnish him a clue ? 
 Could it be possible that he had visited the 
 Board without knowing it himself? This could 
 not be possil)le, of course, unless his mind had 
 
 123
 
 124 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 been aberrant. Had it been? The positive as- 
 sertions of all the members, and of Miranda Trap, 
 certainly seemed to show that he had been there. 
 Was his mind in any way disordered, and yet 
 he, apparently, in the full possession of his fac- 
 ulties ? 
 
 " No madman was ever yet convinced of his 
 own insanit}^" he thought; "and if my mind is 
 touched, that would account for everything," 
 But such reflections were too absurd, and he 
 abruptly broke them off. 
 
 When he first concluded to settle in New York, 
 he invested nearly all his funds in a manufac- 
 turing establishment in New Jersey, and in some 
 vessels engaged in trade and transportation to 
 foreign countries. 
 
 The factory in New Jersey was in a quiet, 
 pleasant spot, and Joseph made occasional visits 
 there, remaining sometimes for several days to- 
 gether. Now he thought of this quiet spot, as 
 a place of rest from his distractions, until his 
 wife should find a better and more temperate 
 mind. He no longer thought of insisting upon 
 an explanation of Mr. Pelter's questionable ap- 
 pearance in his house, for if Rachel should deign 
 to answer him at all, she would answer by a 
 counter-charge, no doubt. It would be best, he 
 thought, for many reasons, to leave passion time to 
 cool, and to avoid all further conflicts for the present.
 
 TABLEAUX VIVANTS. 125 
 
 So he determined to make a visit to the fac- 
 tory ; and with this determination he started for 
 his house. 
 
 " Rachel," said he, when he saw his wife, " I 
 have concluded to make a visit to the factor}-, 
 and let our troubles rest until our minds are 
 settled, and we can talk them over calmly," 
 
 Rachel was too strong a woman to be easily 
 crushed by troubles, but she could petrify ; and 
 so she turned to stone. 
 
 " My mind is settled now ! " she answered. 
 " If you need sedatives, take them in any form 
 you please. It will occupy some time, I think, 
 for you to arrange a plausible theory of defense ; 
 take your time — and make it strong. I shall 
 manage to exist if you are absent for awhile." 
 
 " I see that it is useless to attempt to talk at 
 present," responded Joseph. 
 
 " Entirely useless ! " was the answer. "• I have 
 lost faith in you I Do you know what that 
 means? Do 3-ou know what it is to lose an- 
 other's confidence?" 
 
 " Well, well ; no matter now. I sliall not be 
 absent very long, and hope to find you in a bet- 
 ter mind when I come Ijack." 
 
 »3he did not answer this; and Joseph went out 
 to pack up liis things. Very soon he left the 
 house. 
 
 Nothing could have suited Rachel better than
 
 126 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 Joseph's absence for awhile. She could now take 
 any measures deemed expedient for securing 
 proofs of Joseph's guilt, and without the fear of 
 interruption. She soon stated her intentions to 
 the Ladies' Board, and found in tliem a corps of 
 ready helpers. They advised her to confide in 
 Mr. Pelter, and be governed by his knowledge 
 and experience. This advice was agreeable to 
 her. 
 
 There is a subtile law, pertaining to the action 
 of our hearts, which resembles that so often quoted 
 by physical philosophers as a general law of na- 
 ture — it abhors a vacuum. 
 
 This abhorrence was in Rachel's nature, as well 
 as in that of gentler women ; and she could not 
 help contrasting Mr. Pelter, on his knees, suffer- 
 ing from a vacuum, and Joseph with his vacuum 
 doubly filled. Wintry smiles began to flit across 
 her stony face, and sometimes even warmer ones. 
 But they found the place so strange, at first, that 
 they did not linger there. That they came at all 
 was evidence that Rachel had begun to modify 
 the rigid maxims of her life. Mr. Pelter must 
 have been a man of wondrous power, to make a 
 change so marvelous. 
 
 The ladies told her where Ezekiel lived ; and 
 a few days after Joseph left she resolved to call 
 upon him. Mrs, Pelter saw her when she left 
 her .carriage at the gate, and started for the door;
 
 TABLEAUX VIVANTS. 127 
 
 and so did Mr. Pelter. Both thought to meet 
 her at the door, and both started — but Ezekiel 
 was first. 
 
 His wife retired with a frown upon her face, 
 and he received the visitor. He showed her to 
 his little room, and she at once commenced : 
 
 " I have come to ask your help again." 
 
 " I am always at your service, madam," re- 
 plied Ezekiel, with a bow. 
 
 The wintry smiles began to flicker feebly on 
 Rachel's face again, as she responded : 
 
 " You are very kind." 
 
 "What is it now?" asked Mr. Pelter, in a 
 business way. 
 
 "It is — trouble! Mr. P-e-1-t-e-e-r ; " and Ra- 
 chel struck the lingering accent on his name. 
 
 Mr. Pelter's gentle heart was touched, and so 
 profoundly touched that even his M.j-rindy was 
 forgotten. There was a look of more than sym- 
 pathy in his inquiring eyes, but Rachel did not 
 notice it. 
 
 " Trouble ? " he repeated. " And have you 
 heard of it?" 
 
 "Of what?" she asked. 
 
 " Did you not tell the ladies that jomt: hus- 
 band was at the factory, in New Jersey ? " 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 " And do you still believe that he is there ? " 
 
 " Yes."
 
 128 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " Then you have not heard of it ! " 
 
 "Of what?" 
 
 " Of your husband's latest I " 
 
 "Latest what?" 
 
 " Latest woo-MAN ! " 
 
 "Another one?" 
 
 " Another ! " 
 
 Rachel's fortitude was tried at last, and she 
 began to break. 
 
 " Tell me," was all that she could utter. 
 
 " He is not at the factory ! He is in the 
 city ! " 
 
 "Go on!" 
 
 " I saw him yesterday ! " 
 
 " Ah ! now I see you are mistaken. If he had 
 been here yesterday, I should have seen him — 
 he would have been at home." 
 
 " He should have been at home." 
 
 " He would have been, I say ! " 
 
 "But he was not ! " 
 
 "He was not in the city!" 
 
 " I saw him ! " 
 
 " It was a mistake ! " 
 
 '•'■ M.j-rindy saw him!" 
 
 " She was mistaken ! " 
 
 "We met him face to face — and he spoke to 
 us — with the woo-man hanging on his arm!" 
 
 "This, then," said Rachel, with a sudden flash 
 of rage, " is tlie secret of his frequent visits to
 
 TABLEAUX VI V ANTS. 129 
 
 the factory! O, what a shockmg factory! Who 
 is she ? Can you tell me who she is, and where 
 she can be found?" 
 
 " Not yet," said Mr. Pelter, " but I shall 
 track her to the nest, and then I '11 tell you." 
 For a moment Rachel's look was one of stupe- 
 faction and absolute despair. She began to grope 
 as if in darkness, and to totter as if about to 
 fall. Mr. Pelter, seeing this, stretched out his 
 arms to catch her, and called out : 
 
 "Rachel!" 
 
 At this very instant, Mrs. Pelter's head popped 
 through the door, and she cried : 
 
 " Pelter ! " and then popped back again. 
 
 Rachel did not fall, nor did Mr. Pelter touch 
 her, but she put one hand upon her forehead, 
 and stood a moment speechless ; then the long- 
 sealed fountain of her tears gave way, and she 
 sobbed as though her heart was broken. 
 
 This was no time for sentimental thoughts or 
 speech, on the part of Mr. Pelter, for there was 
 a passion quivering in his presence which dwarfed 
 and stunned him. 
 
 " God help me ! " was all she said, when, by 
 great effort, she had sufficiently recovered ; and, 
 with tears upon her cheeks, she turned and left 
 the house. 
 
 Rachel's agony had a Imman termination. After 
 she had reached her home and reflected on this
 
 130 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 new development, all her other passions were sub- 
 jected to the ruling one of hate. She resolved 
 to find the woman who hung on Joseph's arm 
 — for she hated her. 
 
 After Mr. Pelter had followed Julia home and 
 made his inquiries of Thomas, as recorded in a 
 previous chapter, he hastened to report the facts 
 to Rachel. She would have gone at once and 
 confronted Julia, but Ezekiel advised her to be 
 patient, and wait until he had caught Joseph 
 there, and made the case too clear for contra- 
 diction. 
 
 On that unlucky night when, from his position 
 on the barrel-head, Mr. Pelter saw the shocking 
 sight, Rachel was startled by a visit from the 
 begrimed and battered man. 
 
 " They 're caught ! " said he. 
 
 And then he told his story ; and she could 
 see how much he had suffered in her service. 
 Promising to meet again they parted, for it was 
 late, and Ezekiel must hasten home. 
 
 The proof of Joseph's infidelity was now re- 
 garded as complete ; and Rachel was impatient 
 for the day of his arraignment. 
 
 Joseph remained longer in New Jersey than he 
 had intended when he left his house ; and when 
 he reached New York again, he was advised that 
 a vessel in which he was part owner was ready 
 for another voyage — indeed it had been ready
 
 TABLEAUX VIVANTS. 131 
 
 for several hours, and was only waiting for his 
 return. It was nearly night when he arrived, 
 and without delay he went on board to inspect 
 the cargo, and give some final orders and in- 
 structions. He was detained for several hours, 
 and until late at night ; so late, that he resolved 
 to "turn in" there for the remainder of the 
 night. This was the unlucky night of Ezekiel's 
 visit to the house of John, when he saw the 
 shocking sight. On the following morning, early, 
 he went ashore, and the vessel sailed. 
 
 Now he started for his house, and on the 
 way was occupied l)y his perplexities: he little 
 dreamed how much they had been complicated 
 since he left his house. He soon found Rachel, 
 and in a glad and hopeful voice saluted her ; 
 attempting even a caress more affectionate than 
 usual. 
 
 She drew away from him with a look of ab- 
 solute disgust. 
 
 "Why, Rachel," said he, in astonishment, "is 
 this your greeting?" 
 
 She did not even answer him, and walked 
 away. 
 
 " We must arrive at some understanding in 
 this matter," said Joseph to himself. " I can not 
 live in this way!" And with a look of some 
 determination, he started after Rachel. He found 
 her seated in another room.
 
 132 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " Rachel," said he, " if you will help me in 
 this matter, we can probably arrive at some satis- 
 factory solution. I liave tried without your help, 
 and only grope in darkness. This Miranda Trap 
 is like the Old Man of the Sea to me ; and un- 
 less I shake her off, she "11 ride me to distrac- 
 tion. There u an explanation, if we can only 
 find it." 
 
 " Your affair with Miranda Trap," said Rachel, 
 in an icy tone, " was fortunately discovered in 
 time to save her." 
 
 "I tell you," said Joseph, with impatience, 
 "that I never had an affair with Miranda Trap ! " 
 
 " So you said before," said Rachel, in a tone 
 most aggravating. 
 
 "Rachel!" retorted Joseph, angrily, "you seem 
 to have forgotten what I saw in this very room ! 
 and that there is an explanation due to me. 
 Are you attempting to cover it by these ridic- 
 ulous and baseless charges ? Remember that it 
 was not a shadow that I saw." 
 
 "Sir!" said Rachel, flaming instantly, and 
 rising to her feet, " there are other charges, and 
 very far from shadowy ones, which you must 
 meet ! You will find them much more serious 
 and perplexing than what you call the ' ridic- 
 ulous and baseless ones.' They, at least, are sup- 
 ported by the most substantial proof!" 
 
 " Other charges ! " repeated Josepli, with a
 
 TABLEAUX VIVANTS. 133 
 
 sneer. " What other charges ? Name them ! All ! 
 And let 's have done with nonsense. 1 am tired 
 of this everlasting mystery and innuendo. If you 
 will not have peace ! — and insist on war ! — un- 
 mask your batteries ! I am disgusted with this 
 trifling ! " 
 
 Rachel saw a storm in Joseph's face ; but she 
 felt too well armed to tremble, and she answered 
 promptly : 
 
 " Another of your amours has been brought to 
 light I" 
 
 " For heaven's sake, speak out ! I tell you that 
 I am tired of insinuations! Name your charges!" 
 
 " Very well." Here Rachel's face was white. 
 " I charge you with pretending to be absent in 
 New Jersey, when, in fact, you are in the city 
 here with a handsome and voluptuous woman ! 
 I " 
 
 " Go on ! go on ! Let 's see how far your fool- 
 ish jealousy will lead you ! " 
 
 '' You have been seen with this handsome and 
 voluptuous woman upon your lap ! And I know 
 the very house where you live in shameless adul- 
 tery together ! Are the charges clear — and free 
 from ' mystery ' — and ' innuendo ' — and ' insinua- 
 tion'?" 
 
 " They are monstrous lies ! and so monstrous 
 in their character as to make me doubt your 
 sanity ! " 
 6
 
 134 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 *' I have the proof! the proof 1 1 the proof!!!" 
 now cried Rachel, furious with passion. 
 
 " You — have — no — such — thing ! " answered 
 Joseph, so terribly in earnest that he was white 
 and calm. "But / have proof — and can produce 
 it — to show that I have not been in the city 
 since I left you here ! " 
 
 "Where were you last night?" asked Rachel. 
 "In New Jersey?" 
 
 " Last night I was detained by business until 
 nearly morning " 
 
 "Ha! ha! ha! Not in New Jersey, though?" 
 
 "No." 
 
 " I know it ! and I know what your ' business ' 
 was. You were caught last night ! You thought 
 that Mr. Pelter would not tell ! " 
 
 "Mr. Pelter! — would not tell? Why, woman, 
 I was on board a vessel!" 
 
 "Perhaps you have proof of tJiatf'' 
 
 " The vessel sailed this morning, and of course 
 I have not the proof at present, but when she 
 returns I can furnish proof." 
 
 " This, then, is the way you have arranged to 
 meet the charge, if Mr. Pelter should report ! 
 What a convenient thing that vessel was ! Of 
 course she carried off your proof ! Now, sir, it 
 must be evident to you that you have been ex- 
 posed ! I could even send you to the peniten- 
 tiary as a bigamist!"
 
 TABLEAUX VIVANTS. 135 
 
 " You have gone too far to stop at this," said 
 Joseph, now very calm. " These charges are too 
 serious to be trifled with. Explain yourself!" 
 
 " I shall tell you nothing more," said Rachel. 
 " You know it all ! You would like to ascer- 
 tain, no doubt, how much I know, that you may 
 trim your sails accordingly. You may rest as- 
 sured that I know enough — too much, indeed ! 
 What I may conclude to do, is yet an open 
 question. You will learn in pro]3er time." 
 
 With this she turned from him again, and again 
 went out and left him. 
 
 " That rascally Pelter has been here," said 
 Joseph to himself. " He is the author of this 
 mischief, and he shall explain it to me. I '11 go 
 to him at once I " 
 
 Then he started from the house. He was not 
 long in finding where Mr. Pelter lived, and soon 
 found the house. But Mr. Pelter was laid up 
 with the injuries received the night before in 
 the grounds of John ; and Mrs. Pelter so far ob- 
 served his wishes as to say to all that he was 
 not able to see visitors. 
 
 "Is Mr. Pelter in?" asked Joseph, when she 
 had answered to his ring. 
 
 " He is in his room, sir ; but at present he is 
 not able to see visitors," was her reply. " I will 
 take your name and give it to him, and he will 
 see you when he is able."
 
 136 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " My name is Smith," said Joseph ; " but no 
 matter ; I will call aQ:ain." 
 
 '•Are you Joseph Smith?" asked Mrs. Pelter, 
 with a sudden interest. 
 
 " Yes," he answered. 
 
 " Come in ! come in, sir ! I want to talk with 
 you," insisted she. He stepped in and followed her. 
 
 Ezekiel, in his little room, had heard the bell, 
 and when he heard the sound of voices at the 
 door, he was curious. As he approached Ms door 
 he heard his wife invite the visitor to enter ; 
 and now he was more curious than before. As 
 soon as they had passed his door he opened it 
 a little way and peeped out. He saw and recog- 
 nized the visitor at once. Feeling a sudden weak- 
 ness in his knees, he softly closed the door and 
 took out his large and spotless handkerchief, and 
 wiped his face. 
 
 "He is after me ! " said he ; and then he 
 softly locked the door, and drew his table up 
 against it, and sat down on the table. He waited 
 thus, with palpitating heart, for some little time ; 
 and when Josep»h did not come out, he began 
 to think that he had another object in his visit. 
 
 "Is he after Mrs. Pelter for his harem?" was 
 his mental question ; and when he thought it 
 possible, he gave soft expression to his horror. 
 " O, ivhat a world! What a wicked world!" 
 said he.
 
 TABLEAUX VIVANTS, 137 
 
 When Mrs. Pelter and the visitor were seated, 
 she said to him : 
 
 " Since your wife and my husband have com- 
 menced to intrigue, I think it best for us to join 
 against them." 
 
 " Do you charge my wife with an improper 
 intrigue?" asked Joseph, with a frown. 
 
 "Well — yes. That's what 1 call it. I be- 
 lieve the ladies of the Board have some other 
 name for it — they give very pious names some- 
 times to what seems irregular, at least to me." 
 Saying this, she excused herself, and went into 
 another room, leaving Joseph on tenter-hooks. 
 She soon returned with a letter in her hand. 
 
 " You know your wife's handwriting, I sup- 
 pose?" said she, in a bustling, business way, but 
 with a revengeful sparkle in her eyes. 
 
 "Of course I do." 
 
 " Read tliat ! " and here she handed him the 
 letter she had taken from Ezekiel's coat. 
 
 He took and read it carefully and without a 
 word. But there was a fearful change in the 
 expression of his face. • When he spoke again he 
 was very calm — too calm; and Mrs. Pelter saw 
 a wicked passion in his eyes. 
 
 "Where did you get this letter?" he inquired. 
 
 " I found it in my husband's pocket." 
 
 " You must let me have it." 
 
 " You can have it, sir; I have no further use for it."
 
 138 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 "I have!" said he; and he spoke in such a 
 tone as frightened her. " Your husband," he 
 continued, " went there, I suppose — went to see 
 my wife — his 'lamb,' as she calls herself?" 
 
 " Oh yes, sir." 
 
 " And they have met each other since ? " 
 
 "Oh yes." 
 
 "At my house?" 
 
 " She came here to see him once." 
 
 "Indeed! What passed between them here?" 
 
 " You can judge, perhaps, when I tell you 
 what I saw." 
 
 " What did you see ? " 
 
 " They were in Mr. Pelter's little room to- 
 gether, and I went up softly and opened the 
 door, and put in my head " 
 
 "Well?" 
 
 " Well ; he said, ' Rachel ! ' and with open 
 arms stepped up, when I cried ' Pelter ! ' and 
 frightened them." 
 
 "Well?" 
 
 " That 's all, sir ; I backed out again." 
 
 "Woman!" said Joseph, starting up, "do you 
 know what you are saying ? " 
 
 " Why how you look," she answered ; " you 're 
 enough to frighten one ! Of course I know what 
 I am saying." 
 
 "Do you care much for your husband?" 
 
 " Do I care for him ? "
 
 TABLEAUX VIVANTS. 139 
 
 " Yes. Would you care much if something 
 happened to him?" 
 
 "How?" 
 
 " If he should get hurt I " 
 
 " O, sir ! now I understand you. Of course I 
 care for him — too much to have him hurt ! 
 He 's spooney, sometimes, but after all he 's my 
 husband." 
 
 "Then keep him from my path ! I will not 
 look for him — on your account — but let him 
 keep away from me, or he will get hurt?" 
 
 " O, what have I done?" cried Mrs. Pelter, in 
 alarm. " You must promise me — " 
 
 Before she could finish what she was about to 
 say, Joseph was rushing from the house on his 
 way home again. No sooner was he out of 
 sight than Mrs. Pelter hurried to Ezekiel, and 
 soon frightened him more thoroughly than she 
 was frightened. 
 
 " Do you know who was here just now ? " 
 she asked. 
 
 " Yes," he answered, " it was Joseph Smith." 
 
 " And you are a lucky man to have escaped 
 him ! " 
 
 "How?" asked Mr. Pelter, trembling. "What 
 — did — lie — w-a-n-t ? " 
 
 " He wanted you ! " 
 
 " Oh, dear ! Oh, dear ! what does he want of 
 me?"
 
 140 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " He wants to punish you ! He wants to kill 
 you ! " 
 
 Ezekiel groaned. His legs shook so that he 
 could scarcely stand. 
 
 " Oh, wife ! " said he, as he settled down into 
 a chair, and turned his white, scared face on 
 Mrs. Pelter, " if the Lord will only save me 
 this time I'll be a better man! Indeed — in- 
 deed—I will!" 
 
 " Keep away from Joseph Smith, and save 
 yourself," said she. "The Lord don't man- 
 age our private matters ; He is in better busi- 
 ness ! " 
 
 This was the fear which, after that, haunted 
 Mr. Pelter whenever he walked abroad ; and 
 for which he gave a different cause, in speaking 
 to the ladies of the Board. 
 
 "When Joseph reached his house again, and 
 Rachel saw him, she knew that there was some 
 desperate purpose in his mind. She could see 
 it in every look and motion, and before he spoke 
 a word. In spite of every effort at composure, 
 she trembled as she met him. 
 
 "I have the 'key,'" said he. "You said the 
 ' key ' would explain it all, and make it clear — 
 and so it does!'''' 
 
 "What — do — you — mean?" she asked, in a 
 low, scared voice. 
 
 " When, in my perplexity and distraction, I
 
 TABLEAUX VI V ANTS, . 141 
 
 asked you that question, you refused to answer 
 me. / will not refuse to answer. Shame on 
 you ! Shame ! Shame ! Shame ! Now I see why 
 you trumped up charges to worry me ! It was 
 to cover 3^our short-comings ! Look at that ! " 
 
 Here he threw down the letter he had re- 
 ceived from Mrs. Pelter, and spurned it with 
 his foot. 
 
 Rachel was so overpowered by astonishment 
 that she could not move. 
 
 " Look at it, I say ! " continued he.' 
 
 She stooped and picked up the letter, and 
 recognized it. She turned from white to red, 
 and from red to white. 
 
 "You are Mr. Pelter's 'lamb,' are you ? " he 
 commenced acjain. 
 
 " Oh I " she quickly cried, " that did not refer 
 to me ! It referred to Miranda Trap ! " 
 
 " Have done with Miranda Trap ! " he thun- 
 dered. " You have played upon that string as 
 long as it will sound for you ! Hear me play 
 on it now, and see if you enjoy the sound as 
 much as / did! Was it Miranda Trap who 
 wrote to Mr. Pelter to come to her when her 
 husband was away, and they would be undis- 
 turbed? Was it Miranda Trap before whom the 
 sanctimonious lubber kneeled, in this very room? 
 Was it Miranda Trap who even went to visit 
 
 him, and who was discovered in his room with 
 ft*
 
 142 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 him, and whom he called ' Rachel ! ' as he 
 stretched out his arms for an embrace ? Oh, it 
 was an oversight in you to refuse to talk with 
 me, and to send me hunting for an explanation 
 of my difficulties ! " 
 
 Rachel, with wild and staring eyes, stood 
 rooted to the spot. She could not sj^eak ; she 
 tried to, but was paralyzed. The letter by itself 
 she might explain, but the scene in Mr. Pelter's 
 room she could not explain to the satisfaction of 
 a jealous and suspicious mind. It would support 
 the worst constructions of the lano-uasfe of the 
 letter. After struggling for a time, while he 
 intently watched her, she found a voice to speak. 
 It was a strange, unnatural voice, and full of 
 agony. 
 
 " Oh, Joseph, strike me if you will ! Kill me 
 if you will ! I am not as guilty as you think 
 me, but yet I am not free from guilt! I should 
 have been more frank with you. Do what you 
 please ; say what you please ! In the present 
 temper of our minds I cannot explain ! This 
 much 1 11 say — and God knows I speak the 
 truth — I am better, far better, than you think 
 me ; though not so good as I profess to be ! " 
 
 Her evident distress touched Joseph's magnan- 
 imity, and he replied : 
 
 " Let us drop the subject for the present." 
 
 Rachel was quick to accept the proffered truce,
 
 TABLEAUX VI V ANTS. 143 
 
 and for the time the warfare was suspended. 
 Then Joseph left the house again to go where 
 business duties called him. 
 
 Rachel's reflections were very bitter. In spite 
 of his supposed misconduct, and what she re- 
 garded as the conclusive proof of it, he held her 
 at advantage by his discovery of her imprudence. 
 Mr. Pelter was the only witness as to Joseph's 
 infidelity, and now he would be discredited and 
 made to aj^pear a dishonorable conspirator. Jo- 
 sej:)]! still denied his guilt, and could continue 
 to successfully deny it, unless the proof was 
 stronger. "^ 
 
 "If 1 could only catch them ! And I will 
 if such a thing is possible," she said. 
 
 To accomplish this, it would be necessary to 
 communicate again with Mr. Pelter ; for he was 
 the only one who knew and could identify the 
 woman. As she thought of this, she felt inclined 
 at first to abandon the attempt ; for if Joseph 
 should discover another private meeting with 
 Mr. Pelter, her case would be a desperate one. 
 " But," she reflected, " it is desperate now, and 
 I must take the risk." 
 
 She could not go again to Mr. Pelter's house, 
 and she did not dare to write to him ; but she 
 could arrange to meet him at the ladies' rooms, 
 and this, at length, she determined on.
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 JOSEPH WRESTLES WITH TEMPTATION. 
 
 Rachel would not be precipitate. Joseph 
 might admit his guilt, and render further es- 
 pionage unnecessary. 
 
 But, as days passed by, he did not confess, nor 
 in any way refer to the charges made. Evi- 
 dently he expected her to speak, and when she 
 continued silent, he grew colder and more dis- 
 tant. She would not speak until she could con- 
 found him by her personal observations. She felt 
 quite certain of finding him with the suspected 
 woman before very long, for she concluded that 
 he must manage somehow to divide his time 
 between them ; and she thought when he told 
 one that he was at the factory, he was really 
 with the other. 
 
 So matters rested until Ezekiel's scratches 
 healed, and he had made his astonishing report 
 to the ladies' Board. 
 
 Shortly after this, Rachel, through the ladies of 
 the Board, arranged to meet Ezekiel at the ladies' 
 
 144
 
 JOSEPH WRESTLES WITH TEMPTATION. 145 
 
 rooms. When they met, she urged him to con- 
 tinue his investigations. Up to this time, as has 
 been ah-eady shown, the call of duty was to Mr. 
 Pelter like a bugle-call to battle in a veteran 
 army ; but now the call was drowned in the 
 louder cry of fear, and he was not so read}^ as 
 before to confront the wrath of Joseph, even with 
 his Christian armor on. But after much persua- 
 sion, he finally consented ; for in spite of all his 
 fears, he had great confidence in his dodging 
 capabilities. It was arranged that on the follow- 
 ing day, at a certain hour, Rachel should meet 
 him on Broadway in a hired carriage. The place 
 agreed upon was near where Ezekiel had pre- 
 viously encountered Julia, when she was engaged 
 in shopping. And the carriage was to be a hired 
 one, that it might be less likely to attract atten- 
 tion than her own if Joseph should appear. It 
 was thought to be quite likely that Julia would 
 be found again engaged in shopping there ; and 
 if she was not, then they could drive to the 
 neighl)orhood where Julia lived, and arrange for 
 observations from that locality. 
 
 On the following day, as the appointed hour 
 drew near, the Fates seemed all propitious. 
 Ezekiel, in liis impatience, arrived in advance of 
 the hour named ; and it was fortunate that it 
 so happened. He had hardly reached the place, 
 when he saw Joseph coming from the opposite
 
 146 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 direction. He dodged and skipped with great 
 agility, until he had crossed the street ; then he 
 very quickly turned around and saw Joseph en- 
 ter a shop opposite, where gentlemen's clothing 
 was kept for sale. He did not come out imme- 
 diately, and while Ezekiel watched the door Ra- 
 chel drove up in her hired carriage. 
 
 Mr. Pelter, now protected by the intervening- 
 carriage, hurried back across the street, and from 
 the street-side of the carriage gave Rachel warn- 
 ing of Joseph's presence. With a sudden start, 
 and quivering from excitement, she let fall the 
 carriage curtain, and invited Mr. Pelter to a seat 
 beside her. He lost no time in taking it. Look- 
 ing from a little peep-hole, which they very soon 
 arranged, at the side of the carriage curtain, 
 they watched the door for Joseph's re-appearance. 
 
 He soon came out, dressed eap-a-pie in a new 
 and becoming suit of clothes ; even his hat was 
 new. They were so engaged in seeing this that 
 they did not notice that at the very moment 
 another carriage came, and stopped immediately 
 in front of them, and very near ; nor did they 
 notice that a comely and smiling woman called 
 out from the other carriage, and made Joseph 
 look that way. They saw Joseph turn and stop. 
 Then they looked to see what had stopped him. 
 Their carriage front was slightly turned toward 
 the street, and the other carriage was squarely at
 
 JOSEPH WRESTLES WITH TEMPTATION. 147 
 
 the curb-stone, and could be seen from the little 
 peep-hole. 
 
 The other carriage was a handsome one and 
 arranged in open style ; and they saw a lady in 
 it, beckoning to Joseph. Rachel's eyes were wide 
 with wonder as she took in the sight, and called 
 Ezekiel's attention to it. 
 
 " Bless me ! " he cried, with a sudden start. 
 "It is — the — v-e-r-y — -^t'oo-man ! " 
 
 They could hear her as she spoke to Joseph. 
 
 " Come ! Get in and go with me ! " said she. 
 " I will bring you back after luncheon, if you 
 wish it. I want to talk with you a moment." 
 
 Joseph hesitated, and even seemed to be j)i'0- 
 testing. But she would not listen to him, and 
 at last he did get in, and the handsome car- 
 riage turned and drove away. 
 
 Rachel, Avith a white, stern face and com- 
 pressed lips, called sharply to the driver and 
 ordered him to drive after them. And so he did. 
 
 " I want you to go and lunch with me to- 
 day," said Julia, as she and Joseph drove away. 
 Then, looking in his face, she added : " Why, 
 you look as solemn as a funeral! Somehow — 
 though how I cannot say exactly — but somehoiv, 
 you look almost strange to me. Perhaps it 's 
 that new suit of clothes and a different hat." 
 
 Joseph was too full of speculations and grow- 
 ing curiosity to reply at once. " She must know
 
 148 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 me well," he thought, "to notice that I have 
 another suit of clothes and a different hat." 
 
 Julia kept her smiling eyes upon him, and he 
 began to feel the fascinating spell ; perhaps he 
 made no effort to resist it. The contrast, cer- 
 tainly, between this face and Rachel's was most 
 striking, and Joseph now was suffering from a 
 vacuum. 
 
 But why did she call him ? What did she 
 want? At first he thought that she had some 
 business inquiries to make, and that being on 
 the street, and in her carriage, it was natural 
 to call him there. But when she talked simply 
 of taking him to luncheon, and spoke not a word 
 of business, he was puzzled and uneasy. What 
 if he had been entrapped by a charmer of the 
 demi-monde ? Inwardly he thanked his lucky stars 
 that Rachel could not get hold of this. 
 
 "Why don't you answer me?" Julia asked. 
 "You look worried! What troubles you?" 
 
 " Oh," said Joseph, reminded by the question 
 of his domestic troubles, " the very mischief 
 seems to be in everything! I almost wish that 
 I was dead ! " 
 
 " Cheer up ! " said Julia. " In this sad mood 
 you are not like yourself. Even your voice 
 sounds strange. Tell me what troubles you, and 
 it will be curious if we do not make the troubles 
 fly!"
 
 JOSEPH WRESTLES WITH TEMPTATION. 149 
 
 With this, she put her little hand on his — 
 caressingly — and gave him such a tender smile 
 as made him glow, in spite of all his stoicism. 
 In all of his experience he had never been so 
 tempted as at the present moment. Prudence 
 admonished him to stop, and to leave this dan- 
 gerous enchantress. Then Temptation had a 
 score of ready answers, and even ridiculed his 
 fears. 
 
 " Have you not sufficient strength," Tempta- 
 tion said, " to keep yourself from harm ? AVhat 
 is the value of your virtuous maxims if they can 
 not support you in an affair so trivial ? If she 
 goes too far, then stop ; but do not be fright- 
 ened in advance." 
 
 All this had a sound of reason ; and if Joseph 
 saw no sophistry, let it be remembered that there 
 was a spell upon him. 
 
 If objectors would sit in judgment on him, let 
 them first surround the judgment-seat with such 
 witching eyes as Julia had. It was a happy 
 thought to put a bandage on the eyes of Justice. 
 
 Then came other stumbling-blocks in Joseph's 
 way to trip up liis virtuous feet. Rachel had 
 destroyed the comforts of his home, and fairly 
 driven him to seek agreeable society abroad ; if 
 he found agreeable society, why should he not 
 enjoy it, so long as he did not go too far? He 
 would not go too far !
 
 150 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 But he had already gone too far ; when he 
 argued with temptation, he was then undone. He 
 shoukl have said, " Behind me ! " 
 
 When Juha touched his hand, and gave him 
 such a smile, he made no attempt to hokl back 
 the sudden tide of pleasure which gulped him 
 in its amorous flood. It was the old, old story. 
 He did not stop to think that turtle-doves, like 
 other birds, are poisoned by the exhalations from 
 the waters of Avernus. 
 
 Seeing that Joseph did not seem inclined to 
 tell her of liis troubles now, Julia resolved to 
 wait until they could sit down at home, and 
 have sufficient time for a full discussion. She 
 wondered what the trouble was a hundred times, 
 but she did not ask again. 
 
 At length she said, thinking to turn the cur- 
 rent of his thoughts : 
 
 " I had an object in bringing you with me to- 
 day ; and it is a selfish one — as usual, perhaps." 
 
 " Now," thought Joseph, " she is coming to 
 her business, after all. I shall be glad to know 
 what I am about, for I began to fear that she 
 would muddle me as much as Rachel did." 
 
 " I want you," continued she, " to get some 
 tickets for the theater to-night ; if we wait till 
 evening the best seats will be taken ; you can 
 get them after lunch. Several of my friends are 
 going, and I told them that I would go."
 
 JOSEPH WRESTLES WITH TEMPTATION. 151 
 
 Joseph was shocked. He was one of those who 
 profess to think that theaters are but the gikled 
 gateways to perdition; and it Avas not strange 
 that he experienced a virtuous recoil as he listen- 
 ed to this proposition, and thought of being seen 
 in such a place with this strange and handsome 
 woman. " What would the brethren and the sis- 
 ters say ? And what would Rachel say ? " In 
 truth, with him, as with very many others of like 
 pretensions, the thought of what might be said 
 had greater force by far than the restraints of 
 conscience ; but it contributed to his self-right- 
 eousness to put it on his conscience, and so he did. 
 
 "Impossible!" he answered. "Impossible! I 
 could not tliink of such a thing ! " 
 
 Julia's rosy lips were made for pouts as well 
 as smiles, and she pouted now most decidedly. 
 
 " Very well, sir, — very well ! " she answered, 
 in a pet. 
 
 After this, the silence was unbroken until tliey 
 reached the house. Joseph at once observed that 
 the house was in a respectable, and even fashion- 
 able, locality. Before reaching it he had deter- 
 mined that he would not go in, but when he 
 saw the stamp of respectability on its front, he 
 thought that he would not be compromised if 
 lie did go in. He did go in. He followed Julia 
 like one waljving in a sleep, until she reached 
 her boudoir ; here she turned to him and said :
 
 152 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " Forget my pet, and forgive me, dear, while 
 I go in and change my dress. No matter about 
 the theater ; I should have thought of your 
 annoyances." 
 
 Before Joseph could recover from his inde- 
 scribable astonishment, she retreated, looking back 
 and smiling as she went — to a sleeping-room and 
 closed the door. Joseph felt the power of her 
 charms, and feared if she returned to the assault 
 that he could not resist it. Besides, if she was 
 what she ought to be, how could she address him 
 as she did, and receive him — a stranger — in 
 her boudoir ? 
 
 It will be remembered, that in his early days 
 — and before he went to sea — he had resolved 
 that in such a situation he would prove his 
 strength. Here was the first occasion ever offered 
 for the actual test. 
 
 " She is another Mrs. Potiphar I " said Joseph 
 to himself, " and I will fly ! " 
 
 He sat down carefully, and drew off his boots; 
 with these in hand he rose, and with noise- 
 less steps, approached the door. Very softly he 
 unlatched the door and opened it ; and then, on 
 noiseless toes, he stole cautiously away. In the 
 vestibule below he pulled on his boots, and then 
 made boldly for the outer door. 
 
 A servant saw him as he tip-toed through the 
 hall, with his boots in hand, and she informed
 
 "She retreated, looking back, and smiling as she went to a 
 sleeping room."
 
 JOSEPH WRESTLES WITH TEMPTATION. 155 
 
 another servant, and both hastened to a wmclow 
 to see what he was about. 
 
 Julia, hearing the sound of carriage wheels 
 directly after, hurried to her window. 
 
 Rachel did not once lose sight of Julia's car- 
 riage until it drew up at Julia's door, and had 
 left its occupants and driven off. While Julia 
 and Joseph were getting out and walking up the 
 steps, Rachel stopped. When she saw them en- 
 ter she started on, and drove slowly past the 
 house and fixed it in her mind. After she had 
 passed a little distance, she had her carriage turn 
 to the most favoi-able position, and then she 
 stopped to watch. 
 
 It was growing very warm for Mr. Pelter now, 
 and he began to perspire freely ; the prospect 
 of confronting Joseph was too much for him, and 
 his courage began to ooze away. Rachel was so 
 entirely absorbed in other things that she did 
 not observe his perturbation. Her face had never 
 been so hard as now, nor her look so keen ; but 
 there was no other object for that look so keen 
 than Julia's door. 
 
 Mr. Pelter grew more restless and excited with 
 every passing moment; and when it seemed that 
 Joseph might appear, before he could escape, his 
 fear found tongue. He entreated Rachel to re- 
 lease him while he had a chance for safety ; and 
 had she looked around, she would have been
 
 156 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 astonished at that fris^htened face on one who 
 had claimed to be so valiant. 
 
 With her eyes on Julia's door, and withont 
 moving from her fixed position, she answered in 
 a strange, unnatural tone : " Go ! " 
 
 With a sigh of infinite relief, the good man 
 wiped his face again, and prepared to go. As 
 he rose up and put his foot upon the carriage 
 step, he looked back across his shoulder, and 
 quickly asked : 
 
 " Will you come to the ladies' rooms ? " 
 
 She did not answer — she did not seem to hear 
 him — and her eyes were fixed on Julia's door. 
 
 So Mr. Pelter left her. He hurried to the 
 pavement on the other side from Julia's house, 
 and had almost reached a point directly oppo- 
 site, when he saw the hall door open and Jo- 
 seph Smith step out. At the very instant, he 
 heard the crack of the driver's whip and the 
 sound of rapid carriage wheels behind. He 
 looked behind, and saw Rachel's carriage dash- 
 ing up. He looked across, and saw Joseph 
 watching him as he came down the steps. With 
 terror in his face, and a sudden bound, he ran, 
 with Fear upon his flying heels. As he ran, he 
 turned his head at nearly every step to see if 
 he was pursued. So, running and looking back, 
 he soon passed out of sight. 
 
 When Joseph turned from watching him he
 
 JOSEPH WRESTLES WITH TEMPTATION. 157 
 
 saw Rachel's carriage, now drawn up in front 
 of him ; he also saw her stern white face at the 
 carriao-e window. Then he saw her beckon to 
 him, and with a guilty look he stepped toward 
 the carriage. 
 
 Rachel did not sj)eak at first, but her look 
 was more than words. Not until he reached the 
 carriage did she speak, and then she said : 
 
 "Get in!" 
 
 Without a word, and looking utterly con- 
 founded, he opened the door, stepped in, and 
 sat down beside her. 
 
 "Drive home!" said Rachel to the driver. 
 And they drove away. 
 
 All this Julia saw from her chamber window, 
 and the servants saw it from below. 
 
 " Why, that man looked like John ! " said Julia 
 to herself. And then she hurried to the houdoir. 
 John was not there ; nor was Joseph there. She 
 pulled a l)ell-cord, and when a servant came she 
 asked : 
 
 "Where is my husband?" 
 
 " He 's gone out, ma'am." 
 
 "Where?" 
 
 "Don't know, ma'am; but 'twas very queer." 
 
 "What was queer?" 
 
 "Why his walkin' out so — in liis stockin' feet 
 — walkin' on his toes — with his boots in 'is 
 hand."
 
 158 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PFLTER. 
 
 "What do you mean?" 
 
 ^ That 's all ma'am — that 's all I seen." 
 
 " Do you mean to say that you saw my hus- 
 band — in his stocking-feet — walking on tip-toe 
 throuorh the house — with his boots in hand?" 
 
 " Yes, ma'am." 
 
 Julia was stunned. 
 
 " You may go," said she ; and the servant 
 went away. 
 
 " I saw that crazy Pelter across the street, 
 running as if pursued by the seven devils ! " 
 reflected Julia. " What was he running for ? At 
 the sight of John, no doubt. But why should 
 he run at the sight of John ? And who was 
 that white-faced woman sitting in the carriage ? 
 And why did John drive away with her ? Why 
 did he not speak to me about it? Why did he 
 steal away? That looks suspicious!" 
 
 Such were Julia's first reflections. Then she 
 sat down to collect her wits and search for 
 some reasonable explanation. In doing this, she 
 searched her place for curiosities, and Mr. Pel- 
 ter now appeared in her mental panorama. 
 
 He seemed singularly associated with all of her 
 perplexities. Was he really crazy? Was not this 
 white-faced woman the one referred to by this 
 strano-e man in their street encounter? Might 
 not she be the "other wife" of whom he spoke 
 to Thomas? She must have some strong hold
 
 JOSEPH WRESTLES WITH TEMPTATION. 159 
 
 on John, to take him from her ver}^ arms al- 
 most ! 
 
 Such were Julia's more deliberate reflections ; 
 and the more she thought, the more perplexities 
 beset her. At last she started up, with a sudden 
 resolution. 
 
 " If John can not explain all this — and to my 
 satisfaction — I will find this Pelter and examine 
 him ! But John can and will explain it ! He is 
 not a man to prove unfaithful ! Yet why did he 
 %Ual away? That is the strangest thing. 
 
 She was determined, whatever her suspicions, 
 not to form an adverse judgment before John 
 could have a hearing. With this final resolu- 
 tion, she engaged herself in her affairs. 
 
 It was not very far to Joseph's house, and until 
 they reached it neither he nor Rachel spoke. 
 When they were in the house, Rachel turned 
 on Joseph, and with a sneer inquired : 
 
 " Can you explain the business of tku factory?" 
 
 Joseph made no reply. 
 
 " At last ! "' said she, " I have caught you, 
 where even your brazen face can not support 
 you in denial ! " 
 
 " Rachel ! " said Joseph, most dejectedly, " give 
 me a little time to collect myself. I have been 
 walking in the mists so long that 1 can not 
 make things clear, even to myself — much less to 
 you." 
 
 7
 
 160 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " I saw her when she called you to her car- 
 riage," answered Rachel ; " and after that I fol- 
 lowed you. Bear that m mind when you collect 
 yourself, and clear it all ! " 
 
 Joseph, with a baffled look, went to another 
 room. 
 
 " He '11 talk no more to me of my suspicious 
 letter, or of Mr. Pelter on his knees ! " said 
 Rachel, with a flash of triumph.
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 THE IMP OF DISCOKD. 
 
 At the usual dinner-hour John came home. 
 Julia met him as she always did, but there was 
 inquuy in her eyes. 
 
 "Where are your new clothes?" she asked. 
 
 "What?" he answered. 
 
 " Why did you not bring home your clothes ? " 
 
 "What clothes?" 
 
 " Why, the ones you wore this morning ! " 
 
 " These are the ones I wore this morninsf." 
 
 "No, they're not!" 
 
 "What's in your head?" 
 
 " Well, well ; no matter now. Tell me where 
 you went wlien you left me here." 
 
 " Why, I went down town as usual." 
 
 " No, no ! Not when you first went down ; 
 but after I had brought you home to lunch!" 
 
 "After you had brought me home to lunch!" 
 repeated John, with much astonishment, and look- 
 ing at his wife. 
 
 " Yes. And tell me who that lady was who 
 took yoa in the carriage with her." 
 
 101
 
 162 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 "What sort of quizzing are you at?" asked 
 John; now thinking that his wife was bent on 
 some amusement. 
 
 Julia was impatient at what seemed John's 
 attempt to avoid the subject, and she continued, 
 with a serious look : " Come, John ! Tell me 
 now. And tell me why you took off your boots 
 and stole away while I was dressing." 
 
 " Ha ! ha ! ha ! ho ! ho ! ho ! " laughed John. 
 " Go on ! That 's good ! Took off my boots, and 
 stole away while you were dressing ! " 
 
 Julia did not join in his amusement, but on the 
 contrary grew more serious; and John soon noticed it. 
 " Why, Julia, what 's the matter with you ? 
 You are as incomprehensible as Pelter ! " 
 
 " Yes ; and why was Mr. Pelter here ? And 
 what did he run away for ? " 
 
 John smiled and answered : " Has that crazy 
 fellow been around again ? By my faith ! Un- 
 less you begin to speak more seriously, I shall 
 think that lunacy is infectious, and that Pelter's 
 breath has charged the air. Come, now ! be 
 serious, and tell me what you 're at ! " 
 
 " John ! " said Julia, now really angry, and 
 flushing as she spoke, "don't treat me in this 
 manner ! You know yourself that, to say the 
 least, your actions were very singular; especially 
 your stealing off on tip-toe, and in your stock- 
 ing-feet, with your boots in hand ! "
 
 THE IMP OF DISCORD. 163 
 
 John could not restrain another laugh at this, 
 and Julia was enraged. 
 
 " Why, wife," said John, not knowing what to 
 think, " you speak and look as though you 
 might be in sober earnest I " 
 
 " I am in sober earnest, John ! " said Julia, 
 almost ready now to cry. "And — I think — you 
 are — too had!'''' 
 
 " Stealing off on tip-toe — and in my stocking- 
 feet ! " repeated John, and his laughter threat- 
 ened to break out again, at the outre figure in 
 his mind. 
 
 "Why, my dear," said he, "how could I ever 
 do a thing so perfectly ridiculous ? And what 
 object could I have in cutting such a figure ? " 
 
 "Do you deny it?" asked Julia, in great sur- 
 prise. 
 
 " Of course I do ! Who told you such a 
 story?" 
 
 " Well, I did not see you in that condition, 
 but I did see you in other situations ; and these 
 you cannot deny." 
 
 " What other situations ? " 
 
 " Well, for one, with the woman in the car- 
 riage at the door." 
 
 " What woman ? What carriage ? " 
 
 " You seem determined to provoke me ! You 
 know that I am speaking of tiie woman who 
 took you off with her!"
 
 164 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 "When?" 
 
 " To-day ! " 
 
 " Why, Julia, what 's the matter with you ? I 
 have not been off with any woman in a carriage." 
 
 " But I saw you ! " 
 
 " It is infectious, I l)elieve ! " 
 
 "What?" 
 
 "Pelter's lunacy." 
 
 Julia was furious now, and her eyes snapped 
 fire. 
 
 " Perhaps you will deny that you came home 
 with me ? " 
 
 " When ? " 
 
 " To-day ! " 
 
 " How ? " 
 
 " In the carriage ! " 
 
 " Of course I do deny it, since it 's not the 
 fact." 
 
 " And I did not ask you to take me to the 
 theater to-night?" 
 
 " I never heard of it before. I shall be very 
 glad to take you there to-night, or any other 
 night when you wish to go." 
 
 " What makes you so provoking, John ? You 
 do not tell me — seriously, and to my face — 
 that you deny these things ? " 
 
 " Most certainly I do ! Your talk is all as 
 obscure to me as the inscriptions on Egyptian 
 monuments."
 
 THE IMP OF DISCORD. 165 
 
 " That 's all the explanation you intend to give 
 me, is it ! " 
 
 " It 's all I have to give." 
 
 " Then you intend to face me down, and openly 
 deny what transpired before my very eyes ? " 
 
 " There is some mistake ! You did not see 
 me, Julia, as you sa3^" 
 
 " Enouoh of this!'' said Julia, with a look of 
 dignity. " I find that I have been mistaken in 
 your character." 
 
 Then turning on him, with a frown he had 
 never seen before, she added: "Be careful, John, 
 be very'^ careful! I am not a woman to be 
 trifled with, and you will find it so!" 
 
 John was so astonished by her tone and anger, 
 that he did not think of stopping her as she 
 now swept proudly from the room. 
 
 " Well ! upon my word ! " he soliloquized, 
 " This has a more serious look than I expected ! 
 What curious fancies Julia has ! And how they 
 seem to have fixed themselves ! They are like 
 the phantasies of lunacy! And she clings to them 
 like a madman to his vagaries! No sane mind 
 could ever form an image so superlatively ridicu- 
 lous as that of my stealing from my house on tip- 
 toe, and in my stocking feet, with my boots in 
 hand ! Can it be possible that what I spoke in 
 jest is true, and that this is incipient madness? 
 It may result from nervous excitation ! but I
 
 166 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 never dreamed that Julia was so nervous ! O, 
 Julia ! The apple of my eye ! My soul's delight ! 
 The object of my constant and increasing love ! 
 Can it be possible that some sudden and dis- 
 tressful blight has touched your mind, and that 
 all your sparkling wit has turned to inane phan- 
 tasies?" 
 
 The very thought of such a thing distressed 
 him so acutely that he could think of nothing 
 but some soothing panacea. He resolved to 
 humor, rather than to contradict, her whims, un- 
 til, from a more thorough observation, he could 
 satisfy himself as to her real condition. With 
 this determination, he went out after her. He 
 found her sitting in another room, with her 
 head bowed on a table, and sobbing convulsively. 
 The sight touched John as no other sight could 
 touch him ; and he went up to her, and stooped 
 down and kissed her hair. 
 
 " Come, Julia, my darling wife ! Do not give 
 way ! Look up, and speak to me again ! I '11 
 admit it all ! Come now ! " 
 
 " You admit it, do you ? " cried Julia, quickly 
 lifting up her head. " Now explain it to me ! " 
 
 " First, compose yourself," said John. 
 
 Julia rose up jn a blaze of jealous passion, 
 and retorted : " You are a sailor, and have often 
 seen the lashes of the wind goad on the swell- 
 ing waves to fury ! Did you ever try to calm
 
 THE IMP OF DISCORD. 167 
 
 them, when they seemed ahuost to reach the 
 stars, by saying 'compose yourselves'?" 
 
 She was wrought up to actual frenzy, and 
 John regarded her with a graver, sadder, and 
 more compassionate expression. He did not know 
 Avhat to say to satisfy and calm her. 
 
 " Bid you, I say," she again broke forth, 
 " ever try to still the waves — or even dream 
 that such a thing was possible — by saying calmly, 
 ' compose yourselves ' ? " 
 
 " No," John answered. 
 
 " It would have seemed like folly, would it 
 not?" 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 " When you can control the coursers of the 
 wind by the bridle of your tongue, then come 
 to me with %uch a tranquilizer as ' compose 
 yourself!' Explanation is what I ask! and that 
 is the only thing ! " 
 
 " When I deny," said John, speaking uncon- 
 .ciously, " she is enraged ; when I confess she is 
 absolutely furious ! I begin to think that my 
 fears are too well founded, and that she is really 
 going mad ! " 
 
 " Ha ! ha ! ha ! " laughed Julia in derision. 
 " That 's the way you turn it now ! Mad ! Ha ! 
 ha! ha!" 
 
 More convinced than ever by her wild, unna- 
 tural look and laugh, and unable to control his 
 7*
 
 168 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 own emotion, he hurried from the room to con- 
 ceal his tears. 
 
 " He refuses, even yet ! " said Julia, now de- 
 fiant, " and in the very presence of my anguish, 
 to explain himself! Now I believe that he can 
 not explain himself! I will find that Mr. Pelter ! " 
 
 If Julia had really been demented, she could 
 not have been more entirely possessed by the 
 fancies of her mind than she appeared to be 
 when John next saw her ; and John could not 
 have looked more sorrowful and broken had he 
 seen the actual wreck of what was dearer to 
 him than his life. He resolved to consult some 
 eminent authority, and see if something could not 
 be done to restore her faculties. 
 
 So the evening and the anxious, sleepless night 
 passed by. On the following morning the situ- 
 ation was unchanged, and John even hastened 
 from the house, so great was his anxiety for a 
 consultation. 
 
 Julia was glad to see him go so soon, for she 
 was anxious to commence her search for Mr. 
 Pelter. She ordered the carriage, and at once 
 commenced to dress. When she was ready, the 
 carriage was waiting at the door. She went out, 
 and as she took her seat, said to the coachman : 
 
 " Thomas, I must find that queer man Pelter 
 — the man you caught in the barrel-trap. I 
 don't know who he is, or where he is, and wish
 
 THE IMP OF DISCORD. 169 
 
 you to make some inquiries. If you see him on 
 the street as you drive along, let me know. 
 His name is Pelter." 
 
 With this they started off. They did not see 
 Ezekiel on the street, but when they commenced 
 to make their inquiries at different business places, 
 they found that Mr. Pelter was not unknown. 
 Some of the places where they inquired had been 
 deluged with his tracts and charity appeals, and 
 he seemed to have been entirely impartial in his 
 visits to them all ; consistency, in this respect, 
 was one of Ezekiel's virtues, and no one could 
 complain of his neglect. Several of those who 
 knew the man did not know his place of resi- 
 dence or where he could be found ; but finally, 
 one suggested the Ladies' Missionary Board. 
 With this to guide her in her inquiries, she soon 
 found out where Mr. Pelter lived. She drove 
 to his house, and went herself to ring the bell 
 and make her inquiries. 
 
 Mrs. Pelter soon appeared, in answer to the 
 bell, and Julia asked : '' Is Mr. Pelter in ? " 
 
 Here was a woman made of different clay, and 
 formed in a different mould, from that which 
 formed and fashioned those who usually pro- 
 pounded this familiar question, and Mrs. Pelter 
 was really pleased with her appearance ; though 
 she wondered all the time what she could want 
 of "Pelter."
 
 170 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " He is out at present," answered Mrs. Pelter. 
 
 " I am very sorry," Julia answered. " Can 
 you tell me where I would be most likely to 
 find him?" 
 
 " Clinging to some woman's petticoat ! " said 
 Mrs. Pelter, spitefully. 
 
 Julia smiled. And Mrs. Pelter, seeing it, came 
 as near a smile as she ever did ; and, in fact, 
 as near as it was possible to come with such a 
 face as hers. 
 
 " What particular petticoat shall I try to find ?" 
 asked Julia, with a broader smile. 
 
 " Well," said Mrs. Pelter, chuckling at her first 
 conceit, "you'd better go to the brooding-place; 
 you '11 probabl}^ find them all upon some new 
 Q,^g of mischief." 
 
 ''Where is that?" inquired Julia, now exceed- 
 ingly amused. 
 
 " At what they call the Ladies' Rooms," said 
 Mrs. Pelter ; and she gave the street and num- 
 ber. 
 
 Now, for the first time, Julia thought of what 
 John had told her of his visit there, and how 
 she might have saved the trouble of her inquiries 
 if she had thought of it before. 
 
 "Is Mr. Pelter wrong in any way up here?" 
 asked Julia, tapping her forehead with her finger. 
 
 "What? daft?" 
 
 " Yes."
 
 THE IMP OF DISCORD. 171 
 
 " Why, bless you ! No ! But I do not won- 
 der that you ask the question ; for he is surely 
 a very different man from what he claims to he." 
 
 Thankino- Mrs. Pelter for her information, and 
 leaving a smile behind to warm the spot where 
 Mrs. Pelter's heart had beeif, Julia returned to 
 her carriage, and drove away to find the ladies' 
 rooms. 
 
 When she reached the " rooms," she sent 
 Thomas in to inquire for Mr. Pelter. 
 
 At that very moment the Board was actively 
 encafred in assaults on Julia's character. Ezekiel 
 had just reported to them his observations while 
 with Rachel on the day before. By his spirited 
 remarks he conveyed an impression — uncon- 
 sciously, perhaps, but he conveyed it — of his un- 
 usual dignity and courage on that occasion. He 
 did not even mention — so engaged was he in 
 more important matters — his flying heels in the 
 sight of Joseph Smith. 
 
 " Mr. P-e-1-t-e-e-r is inquired for," said a mem- 
 ber, returning from the door where Thomas was. 
 
 "Who is it?" asked Mr. Pelter. 
 
 "He is a coachman — by his dress," the mem- 
 ber answered. 
 
 Mr. Pelter excused himself, and going to the 
 door, found Thomas there. He stopped in the 
 open door, and did not recognize the coachman. 
 
 " Is your name Pelter ? " Thomas asked.
 
 172 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " It is," said Mr. Pelter, frowning on this 
 familiarity, and swelling sensibly. 
 
 "You look sprucer than you did when we took 
 you from the barrel," continued Thomas, with a 
 merry twinkle in his eye. 
 
 " Hush ! " said Bzekiel, with his finger up, and 
 then he stepped out and carefully closed the door. 
 
 " What is it, my good man ? " he now in- 
 quired ; and, as he spoke, he beamed upon the 
 coachman graciously. 
 
 " My mistress wants you." 
 
 "Where is she?" 
 
 "In her carriage." 
 
 "Here?" 
 
 " Yes, sir." 
 
 Now, it had been the great desire of Ezekiel's 
 secret heart, ever since he saw her first, to make 
 the acquaintance of the " handsome woo-man " ; 
 and he would in truth much sooner cultivate 
 that blooming garden than the finest moral gar- 
 den in the world. But these were his secret 
 thoughts, and he was by far too prudent to dis- 
 close them to the Board. 
 
 " Tell her that I will be out immediately," 
 said he ; and he returned. 
 
 " Who is it ? " asked the members, when he 
 re-appeared. 
 
 " The very one we 're talking of," said Mr. 
 Pelter.
 
 THE IMP OF DISCORD. 173 
 
 " Goodness ! " exclaimed the members, in sur- 
 prise. "What does she want?" 
 
 "She sent in for me," Ezekiel answered; "she's 
 in her carriage at the door." 
 
 Then he added, artfully, — well knowing that 
 he would be urged to go : 
 
 "Is it proper ? " 
 
 " She can 't hurt you," said one. 
 
 " It is your duty," said a second. 
 
 And all, without exception, urged him to go ; 
 for they were not disposed, on mere punctilio, to 
 be cheated of a fresh sensation. 
 
 "The call of duty," said Ezekiel, bowing to 
 the second member, " always finds its answer 
 here," and he put his hand upon his waistcoat ; 
 but really nearer his stomach than his heart ^- 
 and quite properly. Then he took his broad- 
 brimmed hat and started out. 
 
 As he approached the carriage where Julia sat, 
 he lifted off his hat, and let his blandness shine 
 with more than usual splendor. 
 
 Julia smiled, and greeted him, and thanked 
 him for his coming. 
 
 " Will you get in and ride with me ? " said 
 she. " I want to talk Avith you. I will bring 
 you back again." 
 
 Nothing could have been proposed more agree- 
 able to Mr. Pelter, and he showed it in his 
 shining face. With another bow, and without
 
 174 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 further hesitation, he got in and took a seat 
 beside the handsome " «t'oo-man." 
 
 " What a world we live in, Mr. Pelter," Julia 
 commenced, as they turned and drove away. 
 
 "It is a dying world," said Mr. Pelter, solemn- 
 ly, and sighing as he spoke. 
 
 " What a wicked world it is ! " said Julia. 
 
 " Oh wliat a wicked world ! " responded Mr. 
 Pelter. 
 
 " I hope that you did not suffer much from 
 your rough treatment on our grounds on that 
 dark night;" and Julia smiled in spite of all 
 attempts at gravity, as she remembered his ap- 
 pearance then. 
 
 "I suffered, madam," replied Ezekiel ; "but we 
 were made to suffer." 
 
 " How comforting your religion is." 
 
 And Julia turned away her head to conceal 
 another smile. 
 
 " Oh, it is %uch a comfort ! And, madam, I 
 would brave a hundred such dark nights as that 
 to be of service to you." 
 
 Here he turned on her his captivating look, 
 and Julia smiled and answered by a word of 
 thanks. 
 
 " I want to ask you about that night," con- 
 tinued she. " Tell me why you went there ; tell 
 me frankly, Mr. Pelter." 
 
 With that fearless look, so natural to him when
 
 THE IMP OF DISCORD. 175 
 
 he felt secure from danger, he replied: "I went 
 to save you from a godless libertine ! " 
 
 Julia had not looked, or prepared herself, for 
 such a blast as this, and she was greatly scan- 
 dalized by a charo'e so shocldnsr. 
 
 " Are you speaking of my husband ? " she re- 
 plied, in a tone of dignified resentment ; and in 
 spite of all her own anathemas, her woman's 
 nature would defend the man in whom she trust- 
 ed once. 
 
 "Are you — really — married to him?" asked 
 Mr. Pelter, in a tone of great astonishment. 
 
 " Do 3-0U ask me ? Did you not see that we 
 were living there ? " 
 
 Mr. Pelter saw by her flashing eyes that his 
 awkward feet were treading on torpedoes, and 
 he clumsily attempted to extricate himself. 
 
 " Yes," he answered, " I saw that ! " 
 
 " Then why did you ask me if we were married ? " 
 
 " Because I did not think that he would dare 
 to go so far." 
 
 " Did you think that he would live with me 
 and ndt be married to me ? " 
 
 " He might do that ! " 
 
 " What, then, do you think of me ? Am I a 
 wanton? Hoav dare you, sir — '" 
 
 " Oh no ! no ! no ! I beg ten tliousand par- 
 dons! I did not think of you I 1 only thought 
 of him !
 
 176 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 Their excited voices reached the coachman's 
 ears, and he turned his head, and saw his mis- 
 tress glaring on the cowering man. She noticed 
 this, and quickly settled back to her previous 
 position. The coachman, muttering something to 
 himself, turned back to his position. 
 
 When Julia spoke again it was almost in a 
 whisper ; a nameless and shapeless, but giant 
 and oppressive horror, was coming over her. 
 
 " Speak low ! " said she, " and tell me what 
 you mean ! " 
 
 " I mean," said Mr. Pelter, speaking low, 
 " that lie has another wife ! " 
 
 It was a hard and cruel blow, and it fell 
 with crushing weight. Julia sank back, with a 
 smothered moan, and for a moment seemed to 
 be unconscious. Mr. Pelter was alarmed ; and 
 he looked with frightened eyes upon the white 
 and deathly face. He was about to have the 
 coachman stop, when Julia, seeing his intention, 
 put her hand upon his arm and shook her 
 head. 
 
 Then, by an almost superhuman effort, she 
 threw off the lethargic spell, and leaning over 
 to Ezekiel, whispered : 
 
 " Was it the white-faced woman in the car- 
 riage, who came for him on yesterday ; and who 
 was at the door when I saw you running 
 off?"
 
 THE IMP OF DISCORD. 177 
 
 " Yes,'' whispered Mr. Pelter. 
 
 " That accounts for her hold on him ! " said 
 Julia to herself. Then she continued, speaking 
 to Ezekiel — 
 
 " I must see her ! Can you arrange it with- 
 out her knowledge ? " 
 
 "I think so." 
 
 " And can you arrange it so that I can see 
 them both together, think you ? " 
 
 " Yes ; but I must have a little time." 
 
 " Will you let me know when it is arranged ? " 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 " Then let me take you back. I must get 
 home ! This blow is killing me ! " 
 
 " Oh, ma'am — " commenced Ezekiel ; and 
 then he stopped ; for he saw that she did not 
 heed, or even seem to hear him. She aroused 
 herself an instant, and told the coachman to 
 take Mr. Pelter back, and then drive home. 
 After this, she sank back again, and closed her 
 eyes, and did not move or speak until the car- 
 riage stopped for Mr. Pelter to get out. 
 
 Then she sat up, and with her hand on Mr. 
 Pelter's arm, and her face near his, she said 
 impressively : " Remember ! you must let me 
 know ! " 
 
 " 1 will," said Mr. Pelter. 
 
 Standing by the curb-stone, he watched the 
 carriage as it drove away, and tlie image of that
 
 178 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 white, distressful face, was fixed upon his mind 
 forever. 
 
 " Another heart is broken by that wicked 
 man ! " ^aid he ; not dreaming that he himself 
 had caused all the mischief. 
 
 When Julia reached her home she found her 
 husband there, and. a stranger whom she had 
 never seen before. 
 
 John was so shocked by her appearance when 
 she entered that he could not control his mas- 
 tering emotions ; and he broke down with sobs, 
 and hurried to a private room to regain com- 
 posure. 
 
 The stranger, with a look of tenderness and 
 pity, stepped up to Julia, and said to her, " Let 
 me assist you to your room." 
 
 She could not refuse his proffered help, for 
 she was too weak to reach her room unaided. 
 Hanging on the stranger's arm, and looking in 
 his kind and sympathizing face, she asked : 
 
 "Are you John's friend?" 
 
 " Yes, and yours," he answered. 
 
 " I am glad of that," said she ; " for it seems 
 a very heavy blow to him." 
 
 " It is, indeed," the stranger answered. 
 
 " His sobs," said Julia, " fell like heavy ham- 
 mers on my heart. I thought that I should hate 
 him — but — I can 't — I can 't ! " 
 
 By this time they had reached her room, and
 
 " Are you John's friend?"
 
 THE IMP OF DISCORD. 181 
 
 as soon as her wrappings were removed the 
 stranger helped her to a sofa, where she reclined. 
 
 John appeared directly after. He took a chair 
 and drew it up to Julia's side, and reached out 
 to take her hand. 
 
 She drew her hand away. " Which one was 
 first?" she asked in a languid tone. 
 
 A sharp, quick glance was instantly exchanged 
 between the husband and the stranger, as they 
 heard the question. 
 
 "Which one Avas jir^t I ask?" repeated Julia. 
 "Don't you understand me?" 
 
 "No," said John. "What do you mean?" 
 
 " Which one did you marr}^ first ? " 
 
 Another look was here exchanged between the 
 husl)and and the stranger. 
 
 "Was sAe the first?" persisted Julia. 
 
 " Yes, yes," said John, not knowing what to 
 say. 
 
 " It is better so than the other way," con- 
 tinued Julia. 
 
 "How?" asked John. 
 
 " Why, T would rather be the one who holds 
 your heart — and I believe I do — even if our 
 marriage was unlawful, than to be the deserted 
 wife ! " 
 
 A moment's silence intervened, and then she 
 spoke again : 
 
 " But, John, it was a very wicked thing to
 
 182 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 do ! I think — I know indeed — that you did not 
 dream that it would cost your Julia's life ; but 
 — it will!" 
 
 Another painful silence passed, and she again 
 continued : 
 
 " I can never show my face again ! It is such 
 a shame ! It will be very hard for me to give 
 you up: but I must do it. You belong to her!" 
 
 Here the stranger interrupted, saying, " You 
 will feel better for a little rest. I am a phy- 
 sician ; let me give you something. When you 
 have had a little sleep we can talk of all these 
 things." 
 
 " It is a healer of the soul I need," responded 
 Julia. " This physical machinery is of very little 
 value to me now ; and I do not care how soon 
 the wheels run down — and — stop!" 
 
 While she was speaking, the doctor took some 
 medicine from a little pocket-case, and as soon 
 as she had finished he offered it to her. 
 
 " Take it ! " said he ; " you will feel better for it." 
 
 " To please you I will take it, for you are 
 kind ; but for myself, I do not care." 
 
 She took the medicine. The effect was very 
 soon aj)parent. Her breathing was more natural 
 and her system generally more relaxed. Soon 
 her eyes grew dull and heavy ; and then they 
 closed ; and then her soft, low breath gave no- 
 tice of her slumber.
 
 THE IMP OF DISCORD. 183 
 
 The stranger was an eminent physician, and 
 one who gave particular attention to treatments 
 of the "mind diseased." John had been with 
 him since he first found him in the morning. 
 He repeated to the doctor his strange interview 
 with Julia. 
 
 " That fanc}^ of my walking in my stocking- 
 feet, and stealing from her, seems to trouble her 
 the most of anything," said John. " But yet she 
 is just as earnest and as positive in the declaration 
 that T went home to lunch with her, and was 
 carried off from there by some white-faced woman." 
 
 " Is there not some foundation for these fan- 
 cies?" asked the doctor. 
 
 " Not the least ! " said John, most positively. 
 " So far was she from taking me to lunch as 
 this ; 1 did not even see her during the entire 
 day! And I certainly did not go off with any wo- 
 man — white-faced or black, or of any other color. 
 As to my walking on my toes in my stocking- 
 feet, and stealing from the house in such a way, 
 it is too ridiculous to be reconciled with sanity." 
 
 " Well, I will go with you, and see her," said 
 the doctor. 
 
 " What do you think from what I 've said to 
 you?" asked John, with manifest anxiety. 
 
 " You may ])e riglit," the doctor answered. " I 
 am inclined to think you are. But do not be 
 cast down ; it may be — and, indeed, is likely to
 
 184 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 be — merely a temporary aberration, resulting from 
 some physical disorder, which may very soon be 
 regulated. 
 
 So they started for the house. When they 
 reached the house, Julia was away. The servants 
 did not know where she had gone, and they sat 
 down to wait for her return. When she did 
 return, the}'^ did not see her until she entered. 
 
 As soon as Julia was asleep, the doctor sug- 
 gested that they retire to another room, and 
 ascertain, if possible, where she had been, and 
 how employed while she was out. " It may lead 
 us," the doctor said, " to something more deter- 
 minate."' 
 
 They retired to another room, and John stepped 
 out and sent for Thomas, who very soon ap- 
 peared. 
 
 " This gentleman," said John to him, •' will 
 state some questions to you ; I wish you to 
 answer them carefully and frankly." 
 
 Thomas bowed and gave his attention to the 
 doctor. 
 
 " Where have you been this morning, and how 
 has your mistress been engaged ? " the doctor 
 asked. 
 
 " We have been hunting for a queer old chap 
 by the name of Pelter," Thomas answered, "and 
 when we found him she had a talk with him." 
 
 "What did they talk about?"
 
 THE IMP OF DISCORD. 185 
 
 " I did not hear ; but once or twice my mis- 
 tress was very much excited ; and she seemed, 
 somehow, broke down when Pelter left us. 
 Then I drove home." 
 
 "Is that all?" 
 
 "That's all, sir." 
 
 " You may go," said John, and Thomas at 
 once retired. 
 
 "Who is this Pelter? Do you know him?" 
 asked the doctor, turning to John. 
 
 " Well," said John, " he is a crazy fellow, or 
 a very foolish one ; and I did not think to state 
 before that he seems to be, somehow, mixed up 
 in the confusion of her mind. She asked me why 
 he ran away when the woman took me off." 
 
 Here John told all he knew of Mr. Pelter, 
 and closed by saying : " He seems to be so fixed 
 in her curious fancies, that it is not strange, 
 perhaps, that she should try to find him. In a 
 sound and healthy state of mind, she could have 
 no earthly object in seeing him." 
 
 " You see," remarked the doctor, " by what 
 she said just now, that she has other fancies 
 than those you stated ; and that the one now 
 prominent with her is that you have another 
 wife, whom you have deserted." 
 
 "Yes," said John, " and that was one of Pel- 
 ter's crazy notions." 
 
 " Then," said the doctor, " he may have con- 
 8
 
 186 THE MISHAPS OF, MR. PELTER. 
 
 veyecl that impression to your wife. Here is a 
 starting point, at all events." 
 
 "Yes, and a stopping point!" said John, speak- 
 ing with excitement. " If I find him hanging 
 around my house again I will order his arrest ! " 
 
 " I am not satisfied upon the question of your 
 wife's condition," said the doctor, " and must 
 talk with her. We can do no more at present. 
 She will sleep for several hours, perhaps, and 
 when she wakens she may be more clear, or — 
 she may not." 
 
 " What do you mean when you say that she 
 may not ? " 
 
 " Well, it is possible that this excitement and 
 anxiety may terminate in some serious affection 
 of the brain, of which her present state is the 
 inception ; if so, it is quite likely that all these 
 fancies are really the images produced by physi- 
 cal disease, as I said before, and that tliey will 
 vanish, and be remembered only as a dream — 
 and a shadowy one at that — when she recovers. 
 Now I must go. You can send for me when her 
 sleep is over." With this, the doctor went away, 
 and left the frightened and bewildered John 
 with the specters of his fears. 
 
 Julia's sleep was not so long or so profound 
 as the doctor thought it would be ; and when 
 John returned to her, he found her restless and 
 turning on her couch, and muttering incoherent
 
 THE IMP OF DISCORD. 187 
 
 words. The fever had begun, and her heated 
 blood was swelling all her veins by its rapid and 
 unnatural flow. Her face and hands were hot 
 and dry ; and when she started from her sleep, 
 and John offered her some water, she clutched 
 the glass with trembling fingers and drained it 
 eagerly. Then she settled back, with a long- 
 drawn breath, and fixed her eyes on John. But 
 he could see that her look was vacant ; and 
 when he spoke to her, and she commenced to 
 speak again, he saw that her mind was wandering. 
 
 The doctor had scarcely reached his office when 
 he was called, and hurried back again. 
 
 " This is what I said might happen," said he 
 to John, after seeing Julia. 
 
 "But is there danger?" inquired John, in a 
 frightened tone. 
 
 '• No immediate danger," replied the doctor, 
 " and perhaps no real danger ; for she will have 
 every care. In all sucli cases, there is much in 
 proper care. In her intervals of consciousness — 
 if she has them, and probably she will not — try 
 to tranquilize her mind, and never try to settle 
 vexing ([uestions. Nature is the great physician 
 now, and much depends on constant watchfulness 
 and careful nursing." 
 
 The doctor then wrote out prescriptions, and 
 gave all necessary orders, and went away again. 
 John nerved himself for the coming fight with death.
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 MR. PELTER AS A STAR. 
 
 Affairs at Joseph's house were in a sad con- 
 dition. Confidence was entirely destroyed be- 
 tween himself and Rachel. Each felt guilty 
 of a guiltless indiscretion ; and each felt prop- 
 erly indignant that the indiscretion was so mag- 
 nified. Neither could charge the other without 
 receiving a counter-charge, and each believed the 
 other to be more guilty than a knowledge of the 
 actual facts would justify. 
 
 Joseph tried to introduce the subject and come 
 to mutual explanations ; but Rachel would not be 
 satisfied with this, and required from him, first, 
 the confession of a crime which existed only in 
 her jealous fancy. 
 
 " You do not exercise that charity which, as 
 a Christian woman, you should exercise," said 
 Joseph. 
 
 " Nor do you practice those Christian virtues 
 which you should practice ! " retorted Rachel. 
 
 " Your religion, then, is not a help in time of 
 need," continued Joseph. 
 
 188
 
 MR. PELTER AS A STAR. 189 
 
 *'It is too much like yours!" again retorted 
 Kachel, — " confined to preaching more than prac- 
 tice." 
 
 Thus, their anger stripped the masks from off 
 their faces, and left no common ground to stand 
 upon. Sullenly, angrily, and defiantly, they took 
 their Separate courses. 
 
 Joseph, after this, was much absent from his 
 home. Rachel, believing that she knew where 
 he was, was more and more possessed by jeal- 
 ousy and hate. 
 
 " If I can catch them in a public place, I '11 
 expose them to the world," said she. 
 
 Joseph's evenings now were nearly always spent 
 away from home, and he established new asso- 
 ciations, to fill his leisure hours. This unfortu- 
 nate estran2:ement drove Rachel more and more 
 to the " Ladies' Rooms." The Board received 
 her as a victim ; and they never tired of in- 
 creasing her uneasiness by artful innuendoes. 
 
 Mr. Pelter was constantly upon the watch to 
 hit upon some time and place when he would 
 be certain of finding Joseph and his wife to- 
 gether, that he might communicate the fact to 
 Julia ; luit tlie unfortunate estrangement defeated 
 all his plans. 
 
 Affairs remained in this condition until Julia 
 had passed the crisis of her malady, and liad 
 convalesced, and finally recovered. The attack
 
 190 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 had been as severe and dangerous, as it was sud- 
 den and unexpected. For many hours, at its 
 turning-point, she was shadowed by the hover- 
 incr win^rs of death. But she rallied — feebly first, 
 and then with greater strength — until, with con- 
 scious smiles, she chased the shadows from the room. 
 
 John, worn by watching and anxiety, was the 
 object of her first wondering gaze. Her low 
 voice struck him like an electric shock, as she 
 inquired, "How is this?" 
 
 "O! my Darling!" was all that he could 
 say; and he bowed his head upon the bed, while 
 great sobs choked him. She put her wasted 
 hand upon his head, and by that simple touch 
 filled him with her tenderness. 
 
 "Have I been so ill?" she asked. 
 
 Now John looked up, and a great beatitude 
 was shining through liis tears. 
 
 " Why, John, you look worn out I " said she. 
 " Have I been here long ? " 
 
 " Oh ! so long ! An eternity ! if duration can 
 be counted by our throbs of anguish." 
 
 " How you love me, John." And here she 
 took his hand and smiled. 
 
 " I never knew how much till now ! " 
 
 " I am trying to remember ; it is like a 
 hideous nightmare ; I can 't make it out." 
 
 " Do n't try to make it out ! " cried John, with 
 eagerness,
 
 MR. PELTER AS A STAR. 191 
 
 " I must try, John. My mind will work in 
 spite of me ; and it is better to settle its per- 
 plexities than to leave it in a muddle. Some 
 well-intentioned people have strange notions as 
 to the proper treatment of a curious mind. In 
 mistaken kindness, the}' refuse to answer ques- 
 tions, and drive it back upon itself, to fret and 
 worr}^ until, in new perplexities, it finds itself 
 distracted. Do n't treat me this way. Has my 
 brain been touched? Have I been wandering?" 
 
 " Yes," said John, converted to her notion of 
 a proper treatment. 
 
 "That explains it then!" said she, with a sigh 
 of visible relief. " I have had some curious fan- 
 cies, John. I saw that crazy Pelter ; and I saw 
 a white-faced woman take you off from me. 
 Even noAv these forms are so distinct as to seem 
 realities. They are fancies, are they not ? I did 
 not really see them, did I ? And yet I could 
 almost swear to their existence ! " 
 
 " They are all delusions I " answered John. 
 "Depend upon it! I am not deceiving you!" 
 Nor did he think he was. 
 
 " Well then," said Julia, " let us banish them ! " 
 Witli this, she marshaled all her fancies in a 
 ghostly line, then linked them to what she now 
 believed to })e the image of the white-faced 
 woman, and drove them from her brain. With 
 this came rest. With rest came strength. With
 
 192 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 strength came thankfulness and joy. Sunshine 
 filled the house again ; and Julia's songs and 
 laughter startled all the specters from their cran- 
 nies. 
 
 John was determined to protect his wife 
 against a recurrence of distressful scenes. He 
 gave to Thomas most particular and positive in- 
 structions. " If," said he, "• that fellow Pelter 
 comes about the house again, you must arrest 
 him, and hand him over to tlie authorities. I 
 will bear you out in it, and will appear and 
 make the proper charges. Julia's life is too 
 precious to me to be again endangered." 
 
 " He shall not escape if I catch him here 
 again," said Thomas. 
 
 Rachel was urged, from time to time, by the 
 Ladies' Board, to commence proceedings against 
 her husband, by a criminal complaint ; but she 
 could not be induced to go so far as that. She 
 was always on the watch to secure proofs of 
 Joseph's guilt; but she could not lend herself 
 to a prosecution, which would, she thought, re- 
 sult in his imprisonment for a term of years. 
 
 Mr. Pelter, after being baffled for a score of 
 times in his efforts to determine when he would 
 be certain of finding Joseph at home with Ra- 
 chel, at last resolved upon a more direct attempt. 
 When he next met Rachel at the " rooms," he 
 asked: "When i% your husband home?"
 
 MR. PELTER AS A STAR. 193 
 
 " Usually at dinner," answered Rachel. " All 
 orher times are most uncertain now." 
 
 When he heard this answer, he accused him- 
 self of great stupidity for not thinking of that 
 himself. He knew that the windows of the 
 dining-room opened toward the street, and near 
 enough to enable a passer-by — especially if sit- 
 ting in a carriage — to see distinctly objects in 
 the room. He could not hit upon a better plan 
 than was at once suggested. 
 
 " We can catch them at the dinner-table ! " 
 he reflected, " and without the danger of dis- 
 covery, by simply driving past. But he can 't 
 be there every day to dinner ; for some days he 
 must be with the other woo-man ! " 
 
 "He is not there every day to dinner, is he?" 
 he continued, speaking audibly. 
 
 " No ; he is often absent," Rachel answered. 
 
 "She'll know," reflected Mr. Pelter, "when 
 he is absent, for he '11 be with her ! " 
 
 Some little time had passed since Julia called 
 on him, and he was impatient to see and talk 
 with her again. He had no knowledge of her 
 sickness, or of the sad eifects of his previous 
 disclosures ; and before he had settled on his 
 present plan for finding Joseph and his wife to- 
 gether, she was well again. A few days after 
 he had settled on this plan, he set out for Julia's 
 house, to advise her of it. 
 
 8*
 
 194 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 He was dressed with unusual care, and was 
 determined on making a most favorable impres- 
 sion. When he was near the house he stooped 
 to dust his feet, and his shining face was re- 
 flected in his polished boots. He concluded not 
 to ring the bell, for he might thus attract atten- 
 tion and curiosity, and he walked past the house, 
 with his eyes upon the windows. He hoped to 
 see Julia there, but did not, and so he turned 
 and walked back again. Back and forth he walked 
 again, and then again, looking at the windows, 
 until the servants noticed him. 
 
 Julia was not at home, and the servants, think- 
 ing that such conduct had a suspicious look, hur- 
 ried to the stable, and reported to the coachman. 
 They described the man, and Thomas in an in- 
 stant, thought of the " crazy Pelter," and of 
 John's instructions with regard to him. 
 
 " Let me see," said he, and he stooped and 
 craned his neck, and carefully looked out from 
 the stable door — his body not exposed. The 
 girls, on tip-toe, looked above his head, ready, 
 at an instant's warning, to dodge out of sight. 
 
 Mr. Pelter, in his repeated walks, not seeing 
 Julia, resorted to another means of attracting her 
 attention. He took out his large and spotless 
 handkerchief, and put it to his nose, and then 
 with all his might blew such a blast as nearly 
 shook the windows in their frames.
 
 " He blew such a blast as nearly shook the windows in 
 their frames."
 
 MR. PELTER ASA STAR. 197 
 
 " G-r-a-c-i-0-ii-s I what a nose ! " the girls ex- 
 claimed, and then they tittered. Here Mr. Pel- 
 ter came in sight, walking majestically and look- 
 ing at the windows. 
 
 "That's him! that's him!" the girls cried 
 out, and then retreated from the door. 
 
 "Yes," said Thomas, also dodging back, "that's 
 tlie fellow — sure ! ' ' 
 
 " Who ? " asked the girls, excited. 
 
 " Why, the thief we caught here — in the bar- 
 rel," answered Thomas, chuckling, as he noticed 
 their look of fear. 
 
 " Mercy ! " cried the girls, in real alarm, " he 's 
 taking observations for another visit ! Probably 
 he knows that mistress is away, and thinks you 
 gone as well." 
 
 " For all his dress, he has a villain's look ! " 
 said one. 
 
 " Yes," the other said, " and a savage villain's 
 look." And their imaginations made him quite 
 a furious monster, when, in fact, he would have 
 run in terror from either one of them. 
 
 "Stand back! stand back!" said Thomas, "I 
 must manage to get him in here somehow." 
 
 " In here ! To cut our throats ? Wait, Tom ! 
 Wait ! Let us get out ! " exclaimed the girls ; and 
 then they ran until they reached the house, and 
 shut aud locked the door. 
 
 Thomas now walked out, as though unconscious
 
 198 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 of Mr. Pelter's presence. By this time Ezekiel 
 had made his usual turn, and walked back again. 
 Thomas was near the fence when he came back. 
 Mr. Pelter saw him, and, in his loftiest and most 
 patronizing tone, he said : 
 
 " Ah ! how are you ? " 
 
 "How are youf' Thomas answered. 
 
 " Thanks to a gracious Providence, T am well 
 — very well," said Mr. Pelter. 
 
 "Will you walk in and see the grounds?" 
 asked Thomas, pleasantly; for he feared that Mr. 
 Pelter might escape if he tried to catch him on 
 the street. 
 
 " Ahem ! " said Mr. Pelter, pleased with the 
 suggestion, and thinking that he would be cer- 
 tain now of Julia's notice. " Tliank you, I will 
 step in a moment." 
 
 Thomas held the gate for him, and he stepped 
 in and began to admire a bed of flowers near. 
 
 " Do you ever think, my man," said he, with 
 unction, "of the Giver of these bright flowers?" 
 
 " They was n't give to us ; my mistress bought 
 'em at the green-house." 
 
 Ezekiel groaned. 
 
 "Come and see the stable," continued Thomas. 
 
 "Here! read this!" said Mr, Pelter, holding 
 out what he had just taken from his pocket. 
 
 "What's that?" asked Thomas, looking at it. 
 
 Ezekiel put his finger on the head-lines of Jiis
 
 MR. PELTER AS A STAR. 199 
 
 favorite tract, and read out the words, in his lofty 
 and impressive tone : 
 
 "^Setoarc of t^z (LiJilrati) to (Home." 
 
 " All right," said Thomas, and he again in- 
 vited Mr. Pelter to the stable. 
 
 " If I could only call you to the manger I " 
 Ezekiel fervently exclaimed. 
 
 " They 're all out of date ! " said Thomas, 
 " We feed from racks and boxes now ! Come ! 
 I '11 show you." 
 
 " Too true ! Too true ! " said Ezekiel sol- 
 emnly. 
 
 " What 's too true ? " 
 
 " That the manger is all out of date ! O ! 
 what a world ! " 
 
 ''As crazy as a loon!" said Thomas to him- 
 self. 
 
 By this tinae they had reached the stable, and 
 Thomas stood aside for Ezekiel to enter. As 
 soon as Thomas entered, he looked about and 
 found a stout but slender piece of rope ; then 
 approaching Mr. Pelter from behind, he caught 
 his arms and drew them back, and in a twinkle 
 tied them. 
 
 "Now," said he, "I've got you!" 
 
 Mr. Pelter was so overcome by fear, at first, 
 that he was speechless ; and Thomas, taking ad- 
 vantage of his condition, quickly placed him in
 
 200 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 position and strapped his legs, and then his body 
 to a post. 
 
 " You must excuse me," said the coachman, 
 while at work, "and call out if I draw too hard. 
 I would not tie you, but I must fix you sure, 
 so I can leave you while I get ready to take 
 you off." 
 
 Mr. Pelter thought of abduction, torture, assas- 
 sination, and a hundred other frightful things ; 
 for Joseph's threats to Mrs. Pelter were running 
 in his mind. 
 
 Trembling from head to foot, and stammering 
 in his speech, he asked : 
 
 "Wh — wh— where?" 
 
 " To the police station," Thomas answered. 
 
 Ezekiel's courage mounted now, and he no 
 longer trembled, for the thought of danger to 
 his person was removed. The idea of a brief 
 confinement for the sake of righteousness was 
 rather pleasing than cZi.s'pleasing to his mind. He 
 had twanged so long upon a single string, that 
 the familiar sound was irksome even to himself. 
 This arrest, if properly manipulated, would fur- 
 nish him another string, and he would strike 
 such wailing sounds from it as to reach hearts 
 insensible to his usual aj)peals. 
 
 In imagination, he could already see the indig- 
 nant members of the Board hurling thunderbolts 
 against his prison-walls ; and even Mrs. Pelter
 
 MR. PELTER AS A STAR. 201 
 
 must be touched to some compassion by his dis- 
 tress. Rachel, and '^ ^iy-rindy,'" and the "hand- 
 some two-man," would all regard him with a 
 higher veneration than before, when they saw 
 him suffering in their cause. And what an end- 
 less theme for tracts ! He would write, and 
 throw them from between his prison bars, as 
 thick and fast as snowflakes come in a winter 
 storm ! He laxuriated in these thoughts ; and 
 now he only feared that he might be discharged, 
 and not confined at all. 
 
 Thomas, when he had " fixed him sure," went 
 in to notify the servants in the house, and offer 
 them a chance to look upon his prisoner. 
 
 "Are you sure," they asked, " that you have 
 him safe ? " 
 
 " As safe as a thief in stocks ! " said he. 
 
 With this assurance, they ventured to the 
 stable, following in the coachman's wake. With 
 hesitating steps, when they reached the door, 
 they entered. 
 
 Mr. Pelter's clothing was disarranged some- 
 what, by the trussing Thomas gave him. His 
 breeches-legs were drawn up above his boot-tops, 
 and his liat, Ijy contact with the post, was 
 knocked upon one side. This gave liim a rakish 
 look, which detracted much from the impressive- 
 ness of what he very gravely uttered. He looked, 
 in trutli, more like a drunken man, attempting
 
 202 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 to convince you of his sobriety, than like him- 
 self, the peerless Mr. Pelter. His appearance, in- 
 stead of appealing to the compassion of the 
 servants, amused them greatly, and they nudged 
 each other and tittered, and then laughed out- 
 right, Thomas joining them. 
 
 "Did your master order this assault upon my 
 liberties ? " inquired Mr. Pelter, in a crushing tone. 
 
 " It 's strictly 'cordin' to instructions," ans- 
 wered Thomas, with a smile. 
 
 " You're a child of sin ! " said Mr. Pelter, as 
 he noticed Thomas' smile, " with no bowels of 
 compassion ! " 
 
 In his earnestness he threw back his head, and 
 hit his hat again against the post, knocking it 
 to a new position, more rakish than before. At 
 this the servants laughed again, and Thomas 
 joined them. One eye now was nearly covered 
 by his hat, and with that half open, and the other 
 fairly blazing with his indignation, he gave them 
 such a look as he thought would crush them, 
 but it only served to increase their irreverent 
 merriment. 
 
 Thomas now retired to make some changes in 
 his dress, and the servants scampered to the 
 house again. 
 
 " Now, old chap," said Thomas, on his return, 
 "if you'll be quiet, and not try to get away, 
 I '11 take all your fastenings off."
 
 MR. PELTER AS A STAR. 203 
 
 "I will go with you," the good man answered, 
 and this was all that he would say. 
 
 On this parole Thomas untied him from the 
 post and freed his hands. 
 
 " Come on ! " said Thomas, and they started 
 off. Ezekiel was silent, but there was a digni- 
 fied serenity upon his face. When they reached 
 the station-house Thomas gave him up to the 
 authorities. 
 
 " What is the complaint ? " asked the officer. 
 
 " General cussedness I " Thomas anwered. 
 
 "But why did you arrest him?" 
 
 "Actin' under orders." 
 
 " Whose orders ? " 
 
 " My master's ; I will go and bring him." 
 
 Without waiting for another word, Thomas 
 went out to report to John. 
 
 " What is the name of the man who ordered 
 your arrest?" asked the officer of Mr. Pelter. 
 
 "Joseph Smith," replied Ezekiel, and the name 
 of Joseph Smith was duly written in the records. 
 
 "What is your name?" 
 
 With a pardonable degree of pride, and some 
 pomposity, Ezekiel replied : " Pelter, sir — Ezekiel 
 Pelter — of the Missionary Board!" 
 
 His name was also written in the records ; and 
 Ezekiel was astonished to observe that neither his 
 name nor that of the Missionary Board, seemed 
 to make the least impression on the officer.
 
 204 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PEL TEE. 
 
 Taking down a bunch of keys hanging near 
 his desk, the officer rose, and said to Mr. Pel- 
 ter: "Come this way." 
 
 Mr. Pelter followed him, and was transferred 
 to less cheerful quarters, where, for the present, 
 he was left without confinement in a cell. The 
 officer retired, and locked the door behind him. 
 
 "Hold there!" cried Mr. Pelter, from a grated 
 opening in the door. 
 
 The officer stopped and turned around, and 
 Mr. Pelter said : 
 
 " I must advise my friends of my situation. 
 "Will you give me pen, and ink, and paper?" 
 
 The officer nodded and walked on. He soon 
 returned with pen, and ink, and paper, and 
 handed them to Mr. Pelter through the grated 
 opening in the door. Until now Ezekiel had 
 not looked about him. There were other pris- 
 oners in the open room or hall-way where he 
 was left ; and in nearly all of the diamond 
 openings in the doors of cells around he saw 
 curious and sometimes vicious faces. Those in 
 the hall-way with him soon came up and ques- 
 tioned him, with jeers, and grimaces, and bois- 
 terous laughter. Their faces and their language 
 were so repulsive and terribly profane, and Eze- 
 kiel was so shocked by the association, that he 
 drew away and sat down by a small rough table, 
 and commenced his letters to his friends. The
 
 MR. PELTER AS A STAR, 205 
 
 others left him for a time, and only among them- 
 selves made comments on his looks. 
 
 One letter was to the ladies of the Board, and 
 another to Mrs. Pelter. 
 
 The one to the ladies of the Board is yet 
 preserved, and curious readers are referred to it 
 as a matchless specimen of Mr. Pelter's masterly 
 descriptions. It was read by the Austere Mem- 
 ber ; and the awful stillness of the room was 
 only broken by the moans of Miranda Trap and 
 the sobs of the other members. Ezekiel was 
 compared to the Apostle Paul in his imprison- 
 ment ; and the comparison was most decidedly 
 in favor of the Christian soldier of the Board. 
 It is undoubtedly the fact that in luxuriant im- 
 agery and sublime self-centering the apostle was 
 eclipsed. 
 
 Mrs. Pelter read her letter with far different 
 feelings. 
 
 " It serves him right," said she ; " though I 
 must try and get him out. Perhaps this will 
 teach him to let other people regulate their own 
 affairs ! " 
 
 In due time Thomas returned, accompanied 
 by John. 
 
 " Is this Mr. Smith ? " inquired the officer. 
 
 " It is," John answered. 
 
 " What is the charge against this man Pel- 
 ter?"
 
 206 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 "■ I hardly know what the technical offense 
 would be, but I will state the facts." 
 
 John then proceeded to relate how Mr. Pelter 
 had been caught in his grounds at night, prying 
 about the house ; and how, as Thomas had in- 
 formed him, he was taking other observations 
 when arrested. 
 
 " The fellow is a thief, no doubt," the officer 
 remarked. 
 
 " He has a very pious way of talking," inter- 
 rupted Thomas. 
 
 " Oh, that 's a favorite dodge with some," re- 
 plied the officer, with a knowing smile. " The 
 devil's 'livery of heaven' is among his favorite 
 costumes ; he dresses preachers in it some- 
 times." 
 
 " When will it be necessary for me to come 
 and testify?" inquired John. 
 
 " Well," said the officer, " he will first receive 
 a preliminary examination before a justice ; then 
 he will be bound over for his trial. Your man, 
 here, knows all the facts, and for the purpose 
 of the examination his testimony will be suffi- 
 cient. We will not really need you until the 
 trial in the liigher court; of that we will send 
 you notice. Let your man be here to-morrow, 
 and testify at the examination." 
 
 With these instructions John and Thomas went 
 away.
 
 MR. PELTRR AS A STAR. 207 
 
 Then the ofiQcer took down his bunch of keys, 
 and went in to Mr. Pelter. 
 
 " Here, my man," said he, with his hand on 
 Ezekiel's shoulder, " you belong in separate 
 quarters." 
 
 Saying this, he took Ezekiel to an empty cell, 
 and opened it, and shut Ezekiel in. The dark 
 and unclean place did not correspond at all with 
 Mr, Pelter 's previous notions ; and the idea of 
 a confinement here was much less attractive than 
 before. 
 
 The Board made inquiries, and ascertained that 
 he would be examined on the following morn- 
 ing. They resolved to support him by their 
 presence and encouragement. They were present 
 at the opening of the court on the following day, 
 but the place was not attractive, and they were 
 shocked to see their respected member in the 
 crowded dock, surrounded by the moral offal of 
 the city. 
 
 When Mr. Pelter saw them, his heavy heart 
 plucked courage from their presence, and he 
 looked upon the court with much complacency, 
 from a moral pinnacle. 
 
 His wife was much more practical tlian the 
 members of the Board, in what she did. As 
 soon as she was notified of his confinement, she 
 went for legal counsel. She was advised, among 
 other things, that her husband could be released
 
 208 THE MISHAPS OF AIR. PELTER. 
 
 on bail, even if he should be held for triul. She 
 took this information to Ezekiel at the station- 
 house, and sent the lawyer to consult with him. 
 So, when the case was called, he had counsel 
 for his defense. 
 
 But the story of the coachman was so simple 
 and direct, and so free from ambiguity and con- 
 tradiction, that the court could not do otherwise 
 than hold Ezekiel for trial. He was so held, and 
 his bail was fixed at a reasonable amount. He 
 was now transferred from the station-house to 
 the city prison. 
 
 The story of the coachman, when he gave his 
 testimony as to Mr. Pelter's conduct when he 
 was trapped on that unlucky night, was so en- 
 tirely different from the impression made by Mr. 
 Pelter in lih account of it, that the members of 
 the Board were unanimous in the opinion that 
 the prosecution was supported by false testimony; 
 and this increased their indignation. 
 
 " Joseph Smith," said they, '' is trying to de- 
 stroy the character of Mr. Pelter, and fix a crime 
 upon him, that he may be secure from Mr. Pel- 
 ter's charges ! " 
 
 This was a sufficient motive, in the opinion of 
 the Board, to induce the guilty man to resort 
 to perjury in the present case ; and they now 
 urged Rachel more strongly than before to take 
 some active measures in opposition to her husband.
 
 MR. PELTER AS A STAR. 209 
 
 " Next he will commence upon yourself ! " 
 said they, " and try to hide your knowledge 
 behind prison walls/' 
 
 " If he should ever even think of such a 
 thing," said Rachel, in a bvirst of passion, "' I 
 will prosecute to the bitter end I But he dare 
 not think of such a thing. I intend to speak to 
 him of Mr. Pelter's matter, for I will not have 
 him prosecute that man for acting in my service ! " 
 
 This resolution was applauded with enthusiasm, 
 and Rachel was so aroused that she determined 
 to go in person to the city prison, and assure 
 the persecuted man of her active sympathy, and 
 her intentions as to his release. The Austere 
 Member volunteered to go with her. 
 
 As Mr. Pelter was being conducted from the 
 court-room, he saw his wife. In a quiet and 
 unostentatious way, she approached him, and, 
 with other words of comfort, said that she would 
 take immediate measures to secure bail, and that 
 his confinement would be brief. This, coming as 
 it did from one so energetic as his wife, was 
 all that Mr. Pelter needed to assure content. 
 Now he was himself again — dignified and bland. 
 To have seen him walking with the sheriff to 
 the city prison, a stranger would have thought 
 that the officer had been guilty of some grave 
 offense, and that Mr. Pelter was trying to con- 
 sole him by some hopeful prospect.
 
 210 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 When they reached the prison, Mr. Pelter 
 masked his look of satisfaction behind an out- 
 ward show of great solemnity. He was a mar- 
 tyr now, and his look and words must support 
 the character. 
 
 His present quarters, in comparison with his 
 previous ones, seelned almost cheerful ; and he 
 looked around — in spite of his solemnity — with 
 a fflance of satisfaction. 
 
 " Where are your chains ? " he asked, with 
 the tone and look of that provincial favorite 
 in tragedy before referred to. 
 
 " Chains ! " replied the sheriff, in surprise. 
 " Bring them on ! " continued Mr. Pelter, loft- 
 ily, " and I will show you how a Christian bears 
 his persecutions." 
 
 Believing that his confinement would be brief, 
 he wished to make the most of it ; and if he 
 could really wear the clanking chains, his im- 
 prisonment would prove a mine of wealth to 
 him, since his quick imagination could then in- 
 vest the situation with tragic horrors impossible 
 to invent if he was treated kindly. 
 
 " Chains are only used on desperate criminals," 
 the sheriff answered. And the answer only 
 served to stimulate Ezekiel's desire to wear them. 
 To be treated as a desperate criminal would be 
 to glorify his martyrdom. 
 
 " My enemies will not be satisfied if my limbs
 
 MR. PELTER AS A STAR. 211 
 
 are free ! Put on the chains ! " insisted Mr. Pel- 
 ter. 
 
 "It would be contrary to our reguLations," 
 the sheriff still protested. 
 
 " Will you bring them to me and let me «ee 
 them ? " asked Ezekiel. 
 
 " Well, it is a curious and unusual request," 
 the sheriff answered, "but I will let you see 
 them if you wish." 
 
 Leaving Mr. Pelter in the corridor, and smil- 
 ing at the odd request, the sheriff went out 
 and soon returned with the clanking chains. 
 
 "There they are," said the sheriff, dropping 
 them on the solid floor of stone, "and it is a 
 style of jewelry not usually admired." 
 
 The clanking sound struck Mr. Pelter's ears 
 like music, and made him more than ever anx- 
 ious to have on the chains. What an object for 
 compassion he would be ! Here they were in- 
 terrupted by a call, and the sheriff hurried out 
 to answer it. For the remainder of the day he 
 was so engaged that the thought of Mr. Pelter 
 and his chains did not occur to him. 
 
 As soon as the sheriff had retired, Mr. Pelter 
 lifted up the chains and examined them. One 
 of them was the arms, and connected two broad 
 iron bands, fitted for the wrists. These, when 
 properly secured, were firmly riveted. The other 
 one connected broader and heavier bands, formed 
 9
 
 212 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 to clasp the ankles. These also, when properly 
 secured, were firmly riveted. After he had ex- 
 amined them, he tried them on. To secure them, 
 he sacrificed his spotless handkerchief ; he tore 
 it into strips, and passing these through the rivet- 
 holes, he contrived to tie them with his fingers 
 and his teeth, so as to hold the bands in place. 
 Then he walked along the corridor and dragged 
 the heavy chain upon the sounding floor until 
 the other prisoners, confined in cells, looked out 
 and watched him with amazement as he passed 
 their doors. 
 
 Then he practiced for awhile, in impressive atti- 
 tudes, and would hold his chained hands up be- 
 fore imaginary witnesses. But at length he tired 
 of this, and untied the bands and released him- 
 self. He then began an examination of his prison. 
 
 The corridor in which the sheriff left him 
 extended along the side, and was lighted by two 
 large windows, beneath one of which was a nar- 
 row table and a single chair. The windows were 
 made secure by means of heavy iron bars, placed 
 at short distances from each other, and firmly 
 bedded in the solid masonry of the heavy prison 
 walls. Oi)ening on the corridor was a row of 
 cells, and he now, for the first time, noticed that 
 most of them were occupied. The walls, and 
 floor, and cells were all of heavy stone, and the 
 doors were iron-studded, and hung on massive
 
 MR. PELTER AS A STAR. 213 
 
 iron hinges, and secured by iron bolts. From 
 little diamond openings in the doors of cells, pris- 
 oners looked out curiously, wondering who this 
 strange man was. He did not speak to them, 
 but, shrouded in solemnity, and looking on the 
 floor, he walked back and forth. 
 
 At last he sat down by the narrow table, and 
 began to arrange his thoughts for projected tracts 
 and pamphlets. In such employments the day 
 passed by. When it was nearly night the jailer 
 entered and informed the distinguished prisoner 
 that some ladies wished to see him. 
 
 "Who are they?" he asked. 
 
 The jailer handed him their cards. 
 
 " Rachel ! and a member of the Board ! " he 
 exclaimed, with some excitement. " Can I see 
 them here ! " 
 
 " Oh, yes," the jailer answered. 
 
 " Give me a little time to compose myself." 
 
 "How long?" 
 
 " Ten minutes." 
 
 " All right." And with this reply the jailer 
 went to notify the visitors. 
 
 The chains were more than ever tempting now, 
 and Mr. Pelter, without reflecting that he would 
 be practicing a deception, commenced to put 
 them on. 
 
 " This will touch their hearts ! " said he, as 
 he tied the strings.
 
 214 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 Then he sat down again, with one elbow on 
 the table and the other hand upon his knee ; 
 the chain extending from the upright wrist to 
 the hand upon the table. By the time he had 
 arranged all this, and reclined his head upon his 
 upright hand, the jailer entered, escorting Rachel 
 and the Austere Member of the Board. 
 
 The jailer was as much surprised as the ladies 
 were, to see Ezekiel in chains ; and his puzzled 
 look was almost comical. As soon as Mr. Pel- 
 ter saw them, he rose, and, by an artful move- 
 ment, caused the chains to rattle. Then he 
 slowly stepped toward the visitors, and the heavy 
 clank ! clank ! clank ! upon the sounding floor 
 caused them to stop and gaze in speechless won- 
 der on the spectacle. The jailer, no less stupe- 
 fied than they, wondered how and why the 
 prisoner had secured and donned these grim and 
 heavy trappings. 
 
 Mr. Pelter was in secret ecstacies, as he be- 
 held the profound effect of his manceuvre ; but 
 he was careful that his face should not disclose 
 his feelings. 
 
 Rachel felt she had brought him to this dis- 
 tressful plight, and her self-reproaches and ac- 
 cusings were unsparing. With tears and protes- 
 tations she assured Ezekiel that she would not 
 rest until she had effected his release. The 
 Austere Member was too indignant for any such
 
 Mr. Pelter as a star.
 
 MR. PELTER AS A STAR, 217 
 
 expression. In her righteous anger, she threat- 
 ened to bring clown the wrath of God and man 
 upon the heads of those who were guilty of the 
 outrage. 
 
 ^' He suffered," said Ezekiel, with a look of 
 noble resignation, which called forth a burst of 
 admiration from the visitors : " and," continued 
 he, " He forgave His enemies." Now he raised 
 one hand — with a clanking of the chain — and 
 his blandness played like celestial light around. 
 
 "In charity and kindness speak for me," he 
 again continued; "but only so; for — I forgive 
 — them — all!" 
 
 Here was an exaltation in the moral heights 
 never reached by Ezekiel before ; and the mem- 
 ber stood in silent awe before him. 
 
 " Leave me now," said he, in a tone of ten- 
 der sadness. " Leave me to my meditations." 
 
 " Bless you, sir ! " said Rachel, with emotion. 
 
 " O ! Mr. P-e-1-t-e-e-r ! " sobbed the Austere 
 Member. 
 
 Incapable of further speech, they sadly turned 
 away, and left him to his meditations. And as 
 they went, the clank ! clank I clank ! of the lieavy 
 chain upon the sounding floor followed after 
 them, until the iron-studded door liad shut them 
 from the prison walls. 
 
 With their exit from the stage, the actor's 
 part was done.
 
 218 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 He had just untied the iron bands, and re- 
 leased himself, when the jailer reappeared. 
 
 "What is all this nonsense?'* the jailer asked. 
 
 "Do you call it nonsense?" Mr. Pelter an- 
 swered, with pretended indignation. 
 
 " Shut up ! you sanctimonious humbug ! Do n't 
 try to come it over me ! How did you get those 
 things?" — pointing to the chains upon the floor. 
 
 " The sheriff brought them in." 
 
 " What ! For you to strut and work on peo- 
 ple's feelin's with ? " 
 
 " No ; for me to look at." 
 
 " I have more than half a mind to put them 
 on in earnest, and then see how you '11 enjoy it." 
 
 "Oh no! Don't do that!" 
 
 " You 're a cunning scamp ! But I '11 put a 
 stop to this high-tragedy ! " 
 
 With this, he took up the chains, and said to 
 Mr. Pelter, " Come this way ! It 's time to lock 
 you up." Saying this, he took him to a cell 
 and locked him in. 
 
 Thus the act abruptly closed ; with the Star 
 behind the drop. 
 
 At a later hour, the laughing stars of heaven 
 peeped forth from behind their curtain, and 
 through the window and the diamond opening 
 in the door of Ezekiel's cell, winked their shining 
 eyes at him, as though they had enjoyed the 
 scene. Ezekiel was content.
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 THE WHITE-FACED WOMAN IN THE TOILS. 
 
 John said nothing to his wife of Ezekiel's 
 arrest, for he feared that any mention of the 
 man might raise the ghosts so hard to lay. 
 
 She was now entirely restored, and John was 
 more than ever anxious to contribute to her 
 pleasure, and fill their evening hours with agree- 
 able amusements. 
 
 When the curtain dropped on Mr. Pelter's 
 play in the city prison, hundreds were making 
 ready for the rising curtain at a favorite thea- 
 ter, which promised on that night unusual at- 
 tractions. John and Julia were among the num- 
 ber so making ready. 
 
 Rachel and the Austere Member were pre- 
 paring for another act in the tragi-comedy wherein 
 they were acting. They resolved to see and talk 
 with Joseph as to Mr. Pelter's persecution and, 
 if possible, to make him join them in active 
 efforts for Ezekiel's release. To make sure of 
 
 finding him as soon as possible, they went to 
 
 819
 
 220 I'HE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 his usual business places, but it was so late that 
 they did not find him. It was quite late when 
 they made their final inquiry, and they were 
 tired. So they found a place where they could 
 rest and refresh themselves. 
 
 After they had rested and refreshed themselves, 
 and when they were about to start for home, 
 they were astonished to discover how late it 
 was. 
 
 "I declare! it's nearly eight o'clock !", said 
 the Austere Member. 
 
 "So late!" said Rachel; then we can do 
 nothing more to-night. 
 
 " No," said the member ; and they started off 
 to find a conveyance home. They took a stage. 
 As they passed the theater where the unusual 
 attraction was announced, Rachel caught the 
 member's arm, and in a quick, excited voice, 
 cried out : 
 
 " Look ! " 
 
 " Where ? " asked the member. 
 
 But Rachel did not hear, for she had abeady 
 pulled the strap, and was getting out. The 
 member followed her. Rachel caught her arm, 
 and hurried with her to the pavement ; she did 
 not stop until she had reached the side of the 
 entrance to the theater. They were none too 
 soon. 
 
 John and Julia almost touched their garments
 
 RACHEL IN THE TOILS. i221 
 
 as they passed them. Julia was radiant to-night, 
 and while they were in Rachel's sight, she gave 
 John a coquettish tap with her flashing fan, and 
 such a smile as made Rachel writhe in jealous 
 tortures. The throng soon closed around John 
 and Julia, and they disappeared within. 
 
 " I saw them getting from a carriage before I 
 left the stage !" said Rachel, almost breathless with 
 excitement. 
 
 " Going to a theater ! " exclaimed the member, 
 in a tone of pious horror. 
 
 " Yes, and with his mistress ! " Rachel ans- 
 wered, with a hiss of rage. 
 
 "Is she the one — the one he lives with?" 
 asked the member quickly. 
 
 " Yes," said Rachel, starting forward. " Now 
 come with me ! I must go in ! We cannot wait 
 here ! I must see them when they come out ! 
 I'll expose them here! in this public place!" 
 
 The member was most willing to avail herself 
 of this excuse to visit the forbidden precincts of 
 a theater, and they went in together. 
 
 The member's eyes began to wander in delight 
 around the house ; and she could not but think 
 how much more attractive every thing appeared 
 than in the gloomy places* of rectangular enjoy- 
 ment to which she was accustomed. 
 
 Is it any wonder that pleasure finds more vo- 
 taries tluin the chilling pageantries of woe ? Or
 
 222 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 that people will believe, in spite of all anathe- 
 mas of creeds, that God will show a smiling 
 face, instead of a vindictive one ? 
 
 Rachel's mind was too much occupied by her 
 absorbing passion to notice anything except the 
 objects of her search. These she soon discovered, 
 and in a place where she could fix her burning 
 eyes. 
 
 The gilded balconies, and fluted columns ; the 
 graceful draperies of the proscenium and stage ; 
 the dazzling lights and crystal pendants-; the 
 sparkling jewels and expensive costumes , and 
 even the favorite actors, in their mimic robes of 
 royalty, were all blended in a kaleidoscopic view, 
 with no distinct and separate forms. Two forms 
 alone, in all that wilderness of beauty, were most 
 fearfully distinct — John's — and Julia's. 
 
 Until the first act closed they did not notice 
 Rachel. Then Julia took her opera-glass and 
 looked around. As she took in the place where 
 Rachel sat, she was at once arrested by Rachel's 
 look. She was puzzled for an instant by some- 
 thing familiar in her face, and then, with some 
 excitement, she turned to John, and handed him 
 the glass, saying, as she did so : 
 
 " There is the very face that troubled me in 
 my delusion ! See ! what a wicked look she 
 has ! And how she keeps her eyes upon us ! 
 Oh John ! she makes me fairly shiver ! Who
 
 RACHEL IN THE TOILS. 223 
 
 ever heard before of an embodied phantasy? 
 She has the very look of hate that I saw upon 
 her face when she took yoii off! 
 
 " Nonsense ! Julia. Don't get excited over an 
 imaginary likeness to an imaginary form ! " 
 
 But John, though speaking with a show of 
 confidence, could not avoid a feeling of unrest. 
 
 " Which one ? " he asked, as he raised the 
 glass. 
 
 Julia described the place and person. 
 
 " Well ! she is a starer ! " muttered John. 
 
 " Did 3^ou ever see her anywhere before ? " 
 Julia asked. 
 
 "Never!" answered John. 
 
 "Well!" said Julia, "it is the strangest thing. 
 See ! She seems to look at you with fiendish 
 hatred ! " 
 
 " Let her look ! " said John, bringing down the 
 glass, and anxious to lead Julia's mind to other 
 things. 
 
 But Julia could not resist a feeling of uneasi- 
 ness, and as the second act commenced, and 
 through all the play, she threw occasional glances 
 across to Rachel. She always met the same im- 
 movable, vindictive look. 
 
 John turned in that direction, too, when he 
 thought that Julia did not notice him ; and with 
 every look liu uneasiness increased. 
 
 " They see me ! " said Rachel to her compan-
 
 224 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 ion; but she spoke without for an instant taking 
 off her gaze. " See ! how they look and talk, 
 and talk and look! They see that they are de- 
 tected, and will try to escape no doubt ! But 
 they'll not escape!" And like a vicious beast 
 of prey she watched. 
 
 When the play was over, Rachel and the mem- 
 ber started from their seats when they saw John 
 and Julia start. Although their seats were on 
 different sides, the distance to the door of exit 
 was about the same. When John and Julia 
 reached the door, and passed out into the lobby, 
 Rachel and the member were immediately behind 
 them. Before they reached the outer entrance, 
 Rachel stepped up to John and wrathfuUy con- 
 fronted him. 
 
 " How dare you flout me thus ? and openly 
 parade your shame ! " she cried, in a loud, shrill 
 voice. " Drop that huzzy ; and come home with 
 me ! " 
 
 " Who are you ? said John, in a sudden blaze 
 of fury; but holding back hot words, in his 
 anxiety to fathom this baffling perplexity. 
 
 "I am your wife! you wicked, perjured, and 
 deceitful man ! I '11 not submit — " 
 
 Before she could finish what was already on 
 her tongue, she, and all the crowd, were attracted 
 by a sharp and sudden cry of anguish from the 
 lips of Julia; and every eye was turned on her.
 
 " See how she keeps her eyes upon us.
 
 RACHEL IN THE TOILS. 227 
 
 Her face was very white ; and her eyes were 
 wide, and staring, and fixed on Rachel. 
 
 " That is not a specter ! " said she, speaking 
 slowly. " I am not demented now ! It is the 
 face ! the very face ! and the very charge ! the 
 monstrous charge ! O God ! Wliat is it all ? " 
 
 John, now fearful of the worst results, took 
 off the bridle from his tongue and let his fury fly. 
 
 With one arm supporting Julia, he pointed 
 with his other hand to Rachel; and in a voice 
 which broke like thunder on the air, cried out : 
 
 " Arrest that hag ! " 
 
 The words were like a killing blow to Rachel ; 
 and she staggered and retreated with a look of 
 horror. 
 
 The member now rushed in — 
 
 " How dare you, sir ! " said she to John. 
 
 " Another one ? " cried John. " Are all the 
 witches out to-night ? Arrest her also ! " 
 
 Julia now required all of his attention ; for 
 she seemed about to swoon. 
 
 "Make way there!" said he, as he almost 
 carried her along to reach the open air. 
 
 John and Julia were accompanied by friends 
 who knew them well, and who held them high 
 in their esteem ; and when they heard the mon- 
 strous charge, their indignation was not long un- 
 spoken. Tliey turned on Rachel and the mem- 
 ber, and demanded their arrest. An officer
 
 228 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 appeared and took them both. John, with some 
 assistance, took the half-conscious Julia to the 
 carriage, and sending a messenger for his phy- 
 sician, started for his house. 
 
 Rachel and the member, confounded by the 
 situation, were taken to the station. 
 
 When Joseph went home to dinner, on this 
 exciting day, Rachel was absent. This was not 
 strange; for she was often absent now. He 
 waited for her till long past the usual hour, 
 and then took his dinner soZws. After dinner 
 she did not come ; still he thought it nothing 
 strange. Until nearly midnight, he expected, 
 every instant, to liear her ring ; but the still- 
 ness of the house remained unbroken. A chime 
 clock on the mantel, with its silver tongue, 
 rang out the liour of midnight ; still Rachel 
 had not come. He walked about the room; 
 then sat down and tried to read ; then he rose 
 up and walked about the room again. So 
 the dragging, anxious hours passed ; and the 
 chime began to sound like rhythmic voices 
 speaking to his fears. He did not attempt to 
 sleep, but walked and watched, until the sun- 
 light of another morning slanted through the 
 half-closed shutters of the room ; still Rachel 
 did not come. When the city was astir, and he 
 could hear upon the streets the swelling hum 
 of toil, he started out to look for Rachel.
 
 RACHEL IN THE TOILS. 229 
 
 Where should he go ? 
 
 It was too early yet for the Ladies' Board. 
 Perhaps he could gain some information through 
 Mr. Pelter; and what Mr. Pelter knew his wife 
 could draw from him. With this reflection he 
 set out for Mr. Pelter's house. 
 
 Mrs. Pelter was much astonished by this early 
 call, and very naturally supposed that it referred 
 in some way to her husband. 
 
 " O, Mr. Smith ! " said she at once, " why 
 are you so hard on him? If you will only let 
 him off, I will see that he does not trouble you 
 again. If you are so angry that you will not 
 favor Aim, then let him go on my account. You 
 must know that he did not attempt to steal. 
 It was his prying curiosity. He i% sometimes 
 almost a fool; but he is not a thief!" 
 
 "What are you talking of?" asked Joseph. 
 
 " Why, of my husband, to be sure." 
 
 "And what of him?" 
 
 " I want to get him out of jail." 
 
 "Out of jail! What's he in jail for?" 
 
 "Don't make light of it. You sent him 
 there V 
 
 " You ! " 
 
 " Why, woman, what 's the matter with you ? 
 / never sent your husband or any other man to 
 jail!"
 
 230 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 Mrs. Pelter was so puzzled now that she knew 
 not how to answer him. 
 
 She knew — as she supposed — that he wa% 
 sent there by Joseph Smith ; and what reason 
 now had Mr. Smith for denying it? Perhaps, 
 upon reflection, he had determined to ignore the 
 whole affair, and thus avoid a public scandal. 
 This seemed to her quite likely, and she re- 
 solved to trim to this new tack. 
 
 " Well," said she, with a knowing look, " sup- 
 pose that it was said that he was held on your 
 complaint?" 
 
 " I should deny it ? " 
 
 "Would you? Truly?" 
 
 " Most certainly I should." 
 
 "And you will not testify against him?" 
 
 " No." 
 
 "Nor have your man?" 
 
 " Why no ! Of course not ! " 
 
 " Will you go with me and say you have no 
 charge against him? — no criminal charge?" 
 
 " Most certainly I will ; for in truth, I have 
 no criminal charge against him." 
 
 " Well, you are a curious man. But you are 
 very good to me ; and you may have a hundred 
 wives before I'll say a word against you; it's 
 none of my business, anyhow ! And Pelter 
 would be better off if he had not made it 
 his."
 
 RACHEL IN THE TOILS. 231 
 
 '■''Now what are you driving at?" asked Joseph, 
 in a new bewilderment. 
 
 " No m-atter ; mum 's the word," said Mrs. 
 Pelter, with a finger on her lips and a twinkle 
 in her eyes. 
 
 "Let's talk of something, then," said Joseph, 
 " that I can understand. Do you know where 
 my wife is?" 
 
 "Which one?" 
 
 ''Which one! Is i/our head filled with maggots 
 too? Where is Rachel?" 
 
 " Why, sir, I do n't know, I 'm sure." 
 
 " I thought you might know through Mr. Pel- 
 ter." 
 
 " Bless you ! You forget that Pelter is in 
 prison." 
 
 " Rachel may be in prison, too, for all I 
 know," said Joseph, gloomily. 
 
 " That 's not very likely," said Mrs. Pelter, 
 with a smile. 
 
 "Anything is likely I Why, woman! if you 
 should tell me to my face — and seriously — that 
 I was not Joseph Smith at all, but William 
 Jones, you would not surprise iiie in the least; 
 and I would be more than half inclined to agree 
 with you. I have been so badgered by perplex- 
 ities that I am half distracted ! " Saying this, he 
 turned, and, muttering to himself, walked slowy 
 off.
 
 232 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 Mrs. Pelter looked after him, through a gather- 
 ing mist about herself. 
 
 " He begins to muddle me," said she, as she 
 went' about her work. 
 
 Joseph could only wait until he could make 
 inquiries of the ladies of the Board. He did 
 wait. When he saw the Board, and learned 
 where Rachel really was, his distress was touch- 
 ing. 
 
 Late as it was, on the night before, when 
 Rachel and the Austere Member were taken to 
 the station, a messenger was sent to arouse from 
 sleep another member, and give the startling 
 information that Joseph Smith had secured their 
 arrest, and that they were now confined in 
 prison. At an early hour in the morning a 
 special meeting of the Board was called, to take 
 some vigorous action as to this crowning outrage. 
 They sent a member to the station, to interview 
 the prisoners and learn the facts. When she re- 
 turned and reported to the Board, their indig- 
 nation was most furious. 
 
 '' Whose turn next ? " asked one, mounting 
 the rostrum, and gesticulating wildly. " Is this 
 man to take us, one by one, and plunge us into 
 dark and loathsome dungeons ? Where are all 
 our boasted liberties?" 
 
 Another jumped upon a chair, and like a rant- 
 ing sibyl on her tripod, called out excitedly :
 
 RACHEL IN THE TOILS. 28S 
 
 " We have concealed his crimes too long ! 
 He has imprisoned those who saw his guilty 
 acts, but we are free ! and we know his crimes, 
 and now we must proclaim them ! " 
 
 These, and many other inflammatory speeches, 
 wrought up their minds to a pitch of mad ex- 
 citement, and in the very heat of it, Joseph 
 Smith appeared. 
 
 "I come," said he, with his hat in hand, "to 
 ask if you can give me any information as to 
 my wife," 
 
 " Your wife ! " repeated one, contemptuously. 
 
 " Yes ; can you tell me where she is ? " 
 
 " Hear the wretch ! Pretendinq: ignorance ! " 
 cried out the sibyl from her tripod. 
 
 " Wretch ! Pretending ignorance ! " repeated 
 Joseph, in a daze. " I ask you where my wife 
 is ; if you know, please tell me ; if you do not 
 know, then tell me that., and I will retire." 
 
 " You know that she is in prison ! " called out 
 another member. 
 
 " In prison ! My wife — in prison ! For God's 
 sake, madam, tell me what you mean. How can 
 Rachel be in prison?" 
 
 '• We know it all, sir ; do n't count upon our 
 ignorance." 
 
 " If you know, then in the name of all that 's 
 merciful tell me." 
 
 " Who sent her there ? "
 
 234 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " How can I tell ? " 
 
 " O, you hypocrite! you sent her there!"' 
 
 "J sent my wife — to prison! Why woman, 
 you are mad ! " 
 
 " Perhaps you did not send our member 
 there?" 
 
 "What?" 
 
 "Nor Mr. Pelter ? " 
 
 " What ? " 
 
 " This is not the first time that you have been 
 before the Board pretending ignorance. But it 
 will not save you. You have gone too far." 
 
 This Ossa on Pelion was too much for Joseph's 
 shoulders, and he broke down. 
 
 " Ladies," said he, in a tired, sorrowful and 
 even touching voice, " if you but knew the sad 
 distraction in my brain, and could see how 
 sorely I am badgered by perplexities, you would 
 try to aid me, and not turn me off to wan- 
 der, in my blindness, to paths more intricate. 
 If you could but see my heart and feel its 
 heaviness, you would pity rather than revile me; 
 and if a spark of woman's tenderness yet lived 
 among you, you could not offer me a stone when 
 I cry for bread ! You have no hearts ! Good- 
 day." 
 
 His manner was more impressive than his 
 language, and when he slowly turned and went 
 away, he left an awful hush behind.
 
 RACHEL IN THE TOILS. 235 
 
 Could it be possible that they were treading 
 blindly in the mazes ? 
 
 One said : " He had such a look of sincerity 
 and sadness that I misdoubt." 
 
 Another said : " We have done him great in- 
 justice, if we are in error." 
 
 The monarch of the forest was once a tiny 
 sprout. Convictions grow from questionings, and 
 an innuendo, if artfully suggested, may swell to 
 public rumor, and even change the face of em- 
 pires before it dies. Joseph left a little seed of 
 doubt when he went away, and even in that 
 sterile soil a rootlet shot from it and commenced 
 to GROW I
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 RACHEL ON THE STOOL OF PENITENCE. 
 
 Joseph wandered for a time like a somnam- 
 bulist, repeating to himself, in an absent way : 
 
 "Sent — my wife — to prison!" 
 
 At length it flashed upon his mind that these 
 charges must have some foundation, and that 
 perhaps Rachel ivas in prison, and that he was 
 falsely charged with sending her. 
 
 This thought aroused him in an instant. He 
 made inquiries, and at last found one who knew 
 of the arrest, and who informed him that the 
 prisoners were perhaps already on their exami- 
 nation. Now he hurried on until he reached the 
 court. 
 
 His wild, distracted look attracted all who saw 
 him, and he forced a passage through the crowd 
 to reach the front. When he reached the little 
 open space before the justice, an officer in attend- 
 ance said : 
 
 " Here he is." 
 
 All looked at him, and the justice asked: 
 
 236
 
 THE STOOL OF PENITENCE. 237 
 
 " Is your name Smith ? " 
 
 "It is," said Joseph. 
 
 " We are waiting for you," said the justice, 
 " and the case has been ah-eady called." 
 
 Joseph did not seem to hear him, for he was 
 looking wildly at his wife. Her eyes looked 
 wicked, and were fixed on him. 
 
 " What have you to say as to the charge 
 against these women?" asked the justice. 
 
 Joseph, with a sudden start, turned to the 
 justice, and with a look of great amazement, 
 asked: "What h the charge?"' 
 
 " You ought to know," said the justice, in sur- 
 prise, " since you ordered their arrest." 
 
 "I never ordered their arrest!" 
 
 "What? TIerc, officer I you made the arrest, I 
 understand. How is this?" 
 
 " He did order the arrest, your honor." 
 
 " You 're a " Joseph commenced, turning on 
 
 the officer. 
 
 " Stop ! " cried the justice ; " where was it, offi- 
 cer ? " 
 
 '• In the lobby of the theater, when this man 
 — Smitli — was coming out."" 
 
 '* I was never in a theater in my life," pro- 
 tested Joseph. 
 
 " Enough of that," said the justice, with im- 
 patience. " Tell me what you know of this 
 affair."
 
 238 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " I know nothing of it ! " answered Joseph. 
 
 "Nothing?" 
 
 "Nothing! " 
 
 "Swear him!" turning to the clerk; and the 
 clerk swore Joseph. 
 
 " Now, sir ! " said the justice, " tell me, on your 
 oath, what you know of this affair." 
 
 " I know nothing ! as I said before. I am in 
 such a mist, and so amazed by what I hear that 
 I begin to doubt the existence of what I see 
 before me." 
 
 " Do you say — upon your oath — that you 
 know nothing of it ? " 
 
 "I do, sir." 
 
 " What do you know of it ? " turning to the 
 officer. 
 
 "I did not see the fracas," said the officer; "I 
 was called in to make the arrest." 
 
 " Well ! " said the justice, turning to the clerk, 
 "if there is no evidence, let these women be dis- 
 charged." 
 
 Then, turning to Joseph, with some severity 
 he continued : 
 
 "You should not make complaints and author- 
 ize arrests, unless you intend to prosecute. It is 
 trifling with officers and courts of justice. " 
 
 "But," still persisted Joseph, "I never made 
 complaint, and never authorized the arrests ! 
 There is some mistake "
 
 THE STOOL OF PENITENCE. 239 
 
 " I 've heard enough ! Stand back ! " Then 
 turning to the clerk he said : " Call the next 
 case." 
 
 So, wondering and wandering more than ever, 
 Joseph stood back. 
 
 Rachel and the Austere Member were at once 
 discharged. As they passed out, they were 
 obliged to pass the place where Joseph stood. 
 Rachel would not see or notice him, although 
 he tried in every way to attract her notice. 
 The member drew up to the fullest height of 
 her long, lean form, and turning up her nose, 
 passed him with a sudden flirt — all the artificial 
 flowers on her hat quivering sensibly, as though 
 in sympathy with her indignation. 
 
 Joseph went out after them ; but they did not 
 stop or look around. He tried to overtake them, 
 but they hurried on, and all at once they dis- 
 appeared. He waited for their re-appearance, and 
 walked back and forth, for so long a time that 
 he at last concluded they had found another 
 place of exit. Then he walked away. 
 
 As John left the theater, supporting the half- 
 conscious Julia, and listened to the language of 
 her violent hysteria, his mind was filled with 
 curious questionings. What he had heretofore be- 
 lieved to be the creations of a distempered mind, 
 now came in form and specific language. Here 
 
 lO
 
 240 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 was Julia's white-faced woman, and the very- 
 charge. Here the woman claimed him as her 
 husband. Here she tried to take him off with 
 her. How had Julia seen all this in the pic- 
 tures of her mind? Was there, in truth, some 
 spiritual sense too subtle for our gross percep- 
 tions, which enabled some to read the future as 
 an open page ? He had heard, men talk of such 
 a thing, but he had regarded them as dreamers 
 or as charlatans. Could it be possible that his 
 wife had that intensely electrical temperament, 
 or spiritual affinity, which enabled her to read 
 from the book of mysteries? How, otherwise, 
 could there be this correspondence of her pre- 
 vious fancies with existent facts ? 
 
 These, and others like them, were but indis- 
 tinct impressions flashing through his mind as 
 they hurried home. The physician came soon 
 after John arrived. He expressed the most con- 
 fident belief that nothing serious would result. 
 He gave Julia something quieting, and she soon 
 dropped off in sleep. 
 
 But John was anxious, and did not retire ; and 
 he had no sleep that night. In the morning, 
 when she awoke, he was at Julia's bedside to 
 see if rest had strengthened her. Her eyes were 
 bright and natural, and her mind was clear ; but 
 her brow and lips would occasionally contract, 
 and discover her perplexity.
 
 THE STOOL OF PENITENCE. 241 
 
 " Well, John," said she, " I am all at sea 
 again." 
 
 "Do you doubt me, Julia?" 
 
 " No, John, I do not doubt you. If I had 
 started on this ground of trust, I should not 
 have wandered so. Was she arrested ? " 
 
 "Who?" "The hag?" 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 " I 'm sorry for it, for I believe sAe 's crazy. 
 Don't laugh, John; 'twas you that made Pelter 
 crazy, and I do not believe in it. He is simply 
 foolish, and his head is filled with lier insanity." 
 
 " I am sorry for her, too, if she is crazy." 
 
 " Why, she looked like it, and her frenzy was 
 most unnatural. If it is ascertained that she is 
 insane, that will account for many things ; but 
 there are other things which even thaf, will not 
 account for. When I attempt to solve the riddle 
 I am involved in a score of mysteries, and here 
 is where I am at sea. It 's all a muddle, John ; 
 but I do believe in you in spite of all the mys- 
 teries ; perhaps it is because she is such an ugly- 
 looking woman, when I come to see her, that I 
 do not think it possible for her story to be true. 
 You have too much sense ; yes, and too much 
 honesty. But is it not strange that her face 
 and charge so exactly fit the face and charge 
 80 prominent in my delirium ? " 
 
 " That u strange — and I have thought of it
 
 242 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 myself. Now, Julia, for awhile dismiss the mys- 
 teries, and when you are up again, and stronger, 
 we will talk them over and try to sound them. 
 I know why j^ou trust me, and do not believe 
 this woman's talk." 
 
 "Why, John?" 
 
 " Because you love me." 
 
 "Can't we love, and yet distrust?" 
 
 " Yes ; but not for very long. Love is the 
 cable ; and distrust the hidden rock which chafes 
 it. If the cable wears against the rock too long, 
 it will surely snap." 
 
 If there was a shadow on her mind, it was 
 banished by this blunt and impressive figure. 
 With brighter eyes she answered : 
 
 "John, you are a splendid fellow! And I 
 never loved you half enough ! Let us keep our 
 cable from the shoals, and above the fret of hid- 
 den rocks." 
 
 '•'- Amenr'' said John, with a trustful, thankful 
 heart. 
 
 The morning hours flew. So absorbed was 
 John in the sublimation of his love, that he did 
 not think of Rachel. 
 
 When, in the afternoon, he thought of her, 
 he suddenly exclaimed : " I must be off. My 
 evidence will be required." 
 
 "Let them go, John! — let them go," said 
 Julia.
 
 THE STOOL OF PENITENCE. 243 
 
 " So I will, if they do not deserve a pimish- 
 ment ; but I must go to secure their release." 
 
 " Go, then ; and come back soon." 
 
 He did go. When he reached the place, the 
 court was not in session — it had adjourned. He 
 made inquiries as to the women whom he had 
 caused to be arrested. 
 
 " What are their names ? " was asked. 
 
 " I do not know," he answered. 
 
 " Describe them." 
 
 He described them. 
 
 " They have been discharged for want of evi- 
 dence," was the business-like reply. 
 
 Not displeased at all on hearing this, John 
 went home again. 
 
 When Rachel and the Austere Member so quick- 
 ly passed from Joseph's sight, they were on a 
 mission which, had they been less pious, would be 
 called a vengeful one ; they called it one of duty. 
 It was to state their grievances, and to com- 
 mence proceedings against Rachel's husband for 
 the crime of bigamy. The case, as they stated 
 it to the attorney, was so clear in every cir- 
 cumstantial detail, that there seemed to be no 
 question as to Joseph's guilt. And when Rachel 
 made the necessary affidavits, she did not dream 
 that the concise and formal statement was, in all 
 essential features, a pure fabrication, containing 
 not a single tint of truth.
 
 244 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PEL TEH. 
 
 Until all this was done, and they had retired 
 from the lawyer's office, and started home, Ra- 
 chel's indignation and her anger held her up. 
 Then reflection came ; and she began to tremble 
 in the presence of her work. The Austere Mem- 
 ber, seeing her uneasiness, spoke to her. Darker — ■ 
 darker — darker! grew the oppressive phantoms 
 of her mind, until she almost choked, and gasped 
 for breath. Whiter — whiter — whiter ! grew her 
 face, until the muscles twitched and quivered 
 with her great emotion. The woman's nature in 
 her was struggling with her passions, and throt- 
 tling them ! At length she turned to the Aus- 
 tere Member, with such a look of piteous despair 
 as would have most profoundly touched a heart 
 of less austerity, and almost wailed : 
 
 "What have I done! O! what — have I 
 done ! " 
 
 " You have done your duty ! " said the member, 
 without a touch of pity or a relenting look ; and 
 her jaws snapped shut, like a trap of steel. 
 
 There was no comfort there for Rachel, and 
 she took away her eyes, and looked within her- 
 self; there was no comfort there. She lifted up 
 her frightened thoughts to Him who says, " Ven- 
 geance is Mine ; " and to the example of His 
 suffering and uncomplaining Son ; and there was 
 no comfort there ! 
 
 " He is guilty," said the member, " not only
 
 THE STOOL OF PENITENCE. 245 
 
 of the charge, but of an outrage against our 
 liberties !" 
 
 " O, unlucky day!" cried Rachel. "And / 
 am his accuser ! " 
 
 "Who but you should be his accuser?" asked 
 the member. 
 
 Rachel, with a flash of passion, turned fiercely 
 on her — 
 
 " You ! " she cried, " and your associates ! have 
 goaded me to this ! Where are your hearts ? 
 Where is all your boasted charity? Your hearts 
 are stone I Your charity a he ! I 've had enough, 
 too much, of it." 
 
 Before the member could recover, Rachel 
 started back. She hurried to the lawyer's office, 
 and with breathless eagerness commenced : " Stop 
 this thing ! At once ! I withdraw the charge ! 
 1 will not prosecute my husband!" 
 
 Strong as she was ; tearless as her eyes had 
 been ; she now broke down, and with tears, and 
 moans, and self-accusings, she began to plead. 
 
 " 'M.y dear madam," said the lawyer, in sur- 
 prise, " you should have thought of this before. 
 The warrant is already out, and the sheriff is on 
 the way to make the arrest. You are too late." 
 
 "Too — late!" cried Rachel, starting up. "I 
 tell you that I withdraw the charge!" 
 
 " But you can not withdraw the charge. The 
 charge once made is beyond your reach."
 
 246 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " But I am satisfied ! I do not ivkh to prose- 
 cute!" 
 
 " You may be satisfied, and not wish to prose- 
 cute ; and still you can not reach him now." 
 
 "Why?" 
 
 " Because he is accused of crime, and he must 
 answer to the public ; and it is a serious crime." 
 
 " I did not dream of this ! O, sir ! Send for 
 a carriage! Quick!" 
 
 The lawyer hurried out to bring a carriage, 
 and Rachel threw her arms upon the table and 
 her head upon them, and gave way to lamenta- 
 tions. The lawyer soon returned, and helped her 
 to the carriage. 
 
 ""Where shall he drive?" the lawyer asked. 
 
 Rachel gave the street and number, then add- 
 ed : " Tell him to drive like fury ! I will pay 
 him well." 
 
 Then the door was closed, and the horses 
 sprang from the cutting lash, and bounded wildly 
 on. They reached the house in time to meet 
 her husband. He was preparing to leave under 
 the escort of the sheriff, who was waiting for 
 him. When Rachel entered, Joseph looked up at 
 her. A sudden flush overspread his face, then 
 left it paler and more haggard than before. She 
 stood a moment, uncertain what to do ; and then, 
 in wild abandonment, she threw herself upon 
 him, and hung upon his neck — turning up her
 
 She threw herself upon him, and hung upon his neck."
 
 THE STOOL OF PENITENCE. 249 
 
 own white face to his, and pleading in a tone 
 of agony. 
 
 " Can you forgive me ? Will you forgive me ? 
 Speak ! For mercy's sake ! And tell me that you 
 do not curse me for this most unwifely and 
 unnatural act ! Oh ! To think that my hand 
 strikes this cruel blow ! And that my charge 
 sends you to a prison - cell ! But you shall not 
 go ! I 11 swear that you are innocent, and that 
 I was mad to call you guilty ! " 
 
 " Calm yourself," said Joseph, gently taking 
 off her arms. " I muat go, Rachel. But you 
 have lifted off a heavy burden from my heart. 
 Have no fear as to the issue ; for I assure you 
 solemnly, and call God to witness, that I am 
 innocent of every charge you ever brought against 
 me. This must appear some day ; and perhaps 
 my trial may bring out the truth, and free me 
 from perplexities." 
 
 " I beg your pardon," the sheriff interrupted, 
 " but I have other matters requiring my atten- 
 tion, and if you can abridge this interview you 
 will much oblige me. You may see each other 
 as often as you please hereafter." 
 
 ""Must you take him?" cried Rachel, with a 
 beseeching look, which touched him sensibly. 
 
 " I must," he answered, " and do not — I pray 
 you — make my duty harder by appeals to my 
 compassion." 
 10*
 
 250 THE MISHAPS OF MR. FELTER. 
 
 "The officer is right," said Joseph. "We 
 should not keep him longer, and he shows his 
 kindness and humanity. Do not accuse yourself 
 too harshly, Rachel, for I know that I have been 
 made to seem most guilty to you." 
 
 Then, turning to the sheriff, he said to him, 
 "I am ready, sir." 
 
 Rachel did not follow them, nor cry out, nor 
 speak a word. She could not follow them, or cry 
 out, or speak. She was stunned and rooted to 
 the spot. When the door closed after them she 
 stretched out her arms, and groped for an instant, 
 blindly, as though in search of some supporting 
 object; then, with a moan most piteous to hear, 
 she fell down, unconscious. 
 
 The servants had been watching, through an 
 open door, in wondering amazement, and when 
 they saw her fall, they rushed in and took her 
 from the floor, and carried her gently to her room. 
 They at once applied such restoratives as were 
 at hand, and in a little time consciousness returned 
 to her. She remembered everything. Then came 
 lone hours of meditation. When these were over, 
 she arose, and there was an unfamiliar look upon 
 her face ; the rigid lines were softened, and 
 there was no sternness in it. 
 
 "Thy rod!" and "Thy staff!" she would oc- 
 casionally repeat, and the new dependence seemed 
 to strengthen her. Self-righteousness was dead.
 
 THE STOOL OF PENITENCE. 251 
 
 From that day Rachel was another and a nobler 
 woman. Her conversations were no longer larded 
 with sanctimonious formulas, but her daily life 
 exemplified her faith, and made her grow in 
 gentle charity.
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 MR. PELTER LEAVES THE MORAL HEIGHTS. 
 
 Joseph was taken to the city prison. 
 
 Mr. Pelter and some other prisoners, held for 
 trial, were in the corridor. 
 
 Ezekiel was' seated at the little table, beneath 
 the grated window, engaged in writing. He was 
 employed upon a new Pelterian tract, where, in 
 exaggerated language he gave what he held to be 
 a picture of himself, suffering for his righteous- 
 ness. He was so absorbed in this employment, 
 that the entrance of the sheriff with Joseph 
 Smith did not disturb him. Even when the 
 sheriff closed the door, with a loud and clang- 
 ing sound, he did not look up. He did not look 
 up till Joseph touched him on the shoulder and 
 spoke to him. 
 
 When he did look up, and saw who touched 
 him on the shoulder, he bounded from his chair, 
 and with a frightened look, stammered out a 
 broken exclamation of surprise. 
 
 *' I told your wife," said Joseph, with a smile, 
 
 853
 
 HE LEAVES THE MORAL HEIGHTS. 253 
 
 " that I would try and help you out of this. 
 But now I am myself a prisoner, and my hands 
 are tied." 
 
 " You ! a — pris-on-er ! " exclaimed the aston- 
 ished Mr. Pelter, staring. 
 
 "Yes," said Joseph, "and yet, I'll help you, 
 if I can." 
 
 " Bless me ! " said Ezekiel, now recovered from 
 his fear. 
 
 " Have you a lawyer to advise you ? " Joseph 
 asked. 
 
 " Yes," said Mr. Pelter, with his importance 
 growing. 
 
 " When he comes," continued Joseph, " send 
 him to me ; I will give him information that 
 may be of service to you." 
 
 " He '11 be here to-day." 
 
 " Will your wife be here to-day ? " 
 
 " She '11 be here with the lawyer, sir." 
 
 " I must see her also. What does your law- 
 yer say ? " 
 
 "When I saw him first — at the station house 
 — he said that I should sue you, sir, for dam- 
 ages." 
 
 "Indeed?" 
 
 " Yes sir ; but I had damages enough." 
 
 " You thought it better to sue for some re- 
 pairs, no doubt ? " 
 
 " Well ; yes ; 't would be more reasonable."
 
 254 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " Then you really think that I caused your 
 arrest ? " 
 
 " Think ! " And here the good man fairly 
 snorted. 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 " I know you did ! " 
 
 And at the recollection, Mr. Pelter's warlike 
 spirit began to stir, and frowns began to settle 
 darkly on his brow. At this exciting juncture 
 Mrs. Pelter and the lawyer were shown in. Mr. 
 Pelter, with his majestic step, went forward to 
 receive them. After mutual greetings, he pomp- 
 ously announced : 
 
 " The Devil's Emissary is at last in bonds ! " 
 
 "That's good news!" said Mrs. Pelter. "And 
 now I hope they '11 catch his Imps — not ne- 
 glecting those in petticoats ; a few selections 
 from your Board would be most wholesome." 
 
 Ezekiel groaned. 
 
 " But, to leave the Devil and his angels — " 
 continued Mrs. Pelter, " I have good news for 
 you." 
 
 " Ah ! " 
 
 " Yes. There 's something wrong about this 
 matter of your arrest — I don't know what it 
 is — but there 's something out of gear. Mr. 
 Joseph Smith declares that he has no charge 
 against you, and that he will help you out of 
 this. That 's more than all your Board has
 
 HE LEAVES THE MORAL HEIGHTS. 255 
 
 done, or ever will do. They 're sharp enough 
 to get you into mischief, but when you're caught, 
 they heave a pious sigh, and there 's the end of 
 it." 
 
 " Why," said Mr. Pelter, " he 's the very man 
 I spoke of ! " 
 
 " When ? " 
 
 " Just now." 
 
 " I did not hear you speak of him." 
 
 " He is the Devil's Emissary ! " 
 
 " Pelter ! — you 're a fool ! " 
 
 At these familiar words, Ezekiel collapsed. 
 With all his self-importance gone, he sighed, and 
 meekly took his " cross." The quick, keen eye 
 of Mrs. Pelter soon distinguished Joseph, and in 
 a glow of honest sympathy she hurried up to 
 him. 
 
 " Why sir ! " said she, " what brings you 
 here ? " 
 
 " They sa^," said Joseph, with half a smile, 
 and half a sneer, " that I have two wives. 
 Some such notion seemed to be in your head 
 when I saw you last, but then I did not under- 
 stand you." 
 
 "Are you here for bigotry?" asked the aston- 
 ished woman. 
 
 " Such a charge would be much nearer to the 
 mark than bigamy," answered Joseph, smiling. 
 
 " Bigamy is what I mean, no doubt," said
 
 256 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 Mrs. Pelter with a blusli. " And that is why 
 you 're here ? Too many wives ? 'T was hard to 
 wait, I s'pose, for the ugly one to go to grass, 
 and so you took the handsome one before the 
 reg'lar time ! Well, I 'm sorry for you — any- 
 how I " 
 
 "Woman!" said Joseph, in the voice so seldom 
 heard, except Avhen battling with the storms at 
 sea. " I will not listen to such langfuaCTe ! " 
 
 "Mercy! mercy! mercy! Don't snap off my 
 head ! " said Mrs. Pelter, not at all alarmed. 
 " What others make a monstrous crime of, and 
 what, no doubt, ^s wicked and unlawful, I try 
 to mention in a kindly way, because, somehow, my 
 heart is with you ; and for this you snap at me ! " 
 
 " Oh woman ! woman ! will you never under- 
 stand ! All of this, every charge, and every in- 
 nuendo, is a wicked lie ! How these charges 
 started, what they mean, and how it is that 
 people seem to be so positive upon them, I have 
 cudgeled my poor brains in vain to understand. 
 Tf, as you say, your heart is with me, then let 
 your lips take counsel from your heart, and not 
 speak against me. Your husband seems to be 
 somehow involved in these scandalous reports, 
 and if your heart inclines you to my help, find 
 out from him what it 1% I 'm charged with ; not 
 the general charge — that I liave — but the speci- 
 fic charges. Let me get hold of something that
 
 HE LEAVES TffE MORAL HELGHTS. %1 
 
 I can grasp, and hold, and throttle ! and make 
 an end of all this mischief I I cannot grasp 
 these shadows ! and if I attempt to stab them, 
 I but cut the air." 
 
 While he was speaking, Mrs. Pelter's faith in 
 him increased till she believed him ; and when 
 he stopped, her heart was in her hand, as she 
 held it out to him. 
 
 " No guilty man could look and speak like 
 that ! "' said she. " He might deny, and swear, 
 and all that, but 't would be in a different way. 
 Nov/, yrith all my heart, I can work for you ! 
 I started in the wrong direction. I must go 
 back and start again ! This time I "11 start upon 
 your innocence. 1 "11 hunt until I find some 
 clue. I know where to look, for everything has 
 come from one direction I " 
 
 Joseph, so all alone and friendless as he had 
 been, and so frowned upon by saintly faces, felt 
 this blunt and homely speech of friendship to 
 the bottom of his heart ; and as he took her 
 hand, his lips began to quiver. 
 
 '' Keep up your heart ! " said slie. " If I find 
 the mischief where I expect to find it, I '11 have 
 some satisfaction on my own account." 
 
 " Where do you expect to find it ? " inquired 
 Joseph. 
 
 " In that Board of Gossips ! " said Mrs. Pelter, 
 .spitefully.
 
 258 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " I wish that you could see my wife, and get 
 her away from them ; I know that they have 
 filled her head." 
 
 " Ah ! That 's worth knowing ! It gives a 
 starting point ! I '11 see your wife ; but perhaps 
 she '11 not care to see me. And I '11 see that 
 Pelter is no longer used to pull out chestnuts 
 from the fire for them to munch, if he is a 
 monkey ! I '11 keep him from that Board, if I 
 have to tie him to my bed-post ! " 
 
 Joseph saw that he had a sincere and earnest 
 friend in Mrs. Pelter, and his heart took hope 
 from what she said. 
 
 " Now," said he, " if you will send your hus- 
 hand's lawyer to me, I will tell him ■-— as I told 
 you — that I have no charge against his client, 
 and that I am ready at any time, and in any 
 place, to say the same on oath, and that I know 
 nothing of his arrest." 
 
 " Hear that," said Mrs. Pelter, with a show of 
 some emotion. " You work to get him out of 
 prison, and lie Avorks to get you in I Til take 
 a hand in this affair ! " With this she turned 
 and joined the lawyer and her husband. 
 
 " I wish that you would go and have a talk 
 with Mr. Smith," said she to the attorney. " He 
 will help us." 
 
 The lawyer went to Mr. Smith, and Mrs. 
 Pelter turned upon her husband.
 
 HE LEAVES THE MORAL HEIGHTS. 259 
 
 " Pelter ! " said she, " you claim to l)e a Chris- 
 tian?" 
 
 " No one is perfect," answered Mr. Pelter, 
 " and I am a child of sin ; but so far as an 
 angry God permits us to be good — I trust — I 
 am." 
 
 " You may he a child of sin," said Mrs. Pel- 
 ter; "and sometimes I think you are; but don't 
 charge God with making you of any such ma- 
 terial. Sin is the devil's clay, not God's. If 
 it is in God's nature to hate anything^ that is 
 what He hates ! He don 't make His children 
 of such hateful stuff! If there is one thing 
 above another that God loves^ that one thing is 
 goodness ! And when j^ou say that you are as 
 good as an angry God permits^ you say, in sub- 
 stance, that you would be a great deal better., 
 if he did not keep you down. Now, Pelter, it 
 is time for you to stop these slanders on the 
 Almighty, and to understand that God tries, 
 always., to lift us up, and never' tries to keep us 
 down." 
 
 " Oh, what blindness I " groaned Ezekiel. 
 
 " Do you suppose," continued Mrs. Pelter, 
 " that God is pleased to see you and a lot of 
 other meddlers always stirring up some dirty 
 garbage, and spreading out your nostrils to take 
 in offensive scents ? Is He, in your opinion, so 
 in love with things unclean that he likes to have
 
 260 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER, 
 
 His children smell of them ? Fudge ! Pelter. It 
 is too ridiculous." 
 
 *•' What are you driving at ? " asked Mr. Pelter, 
 more than half-ashamed. 
 
 " I want you to leave that crowd of scaven- 
 gers ! " 
 
 "What? The Board?" 
 
 " Yes ; the B-o-a-r-d ! " 
 
 " But how am I to live ! " 
 
 " Noiv — you 've — spoken — it ! " 
 
 " What ? " 
 
 " You hang upon their drabbled skirts, that 
 they may feed you. Are you a dog?" 
 
 Her tongue was cutting like a lash, and Mr. 
 Pelter winced at every stroke. 
 
 " Has Mr. Joseph Smith ever, in the world, 
 done you an injury?" continued she. 
 
 "Yes!" he answered — glad that he had an 
 answer. 
 
 " How ? " 
 
 " Who sent me here ? " 
 
 "He did not." 
 
 "He did." 
 
 " If he did he served you right ; but he did 
 not I say. There is some mistake in your arrest, 
 and Mr. Smith is doing all he can to get you 
 out. But before you were arrested; then had he 
 ever injured you?" 
 
 "Why — no."
 
 HE LEAVES THE MORAL HELGHTS. 261 
 
 " And yet you spent days and nights in watch- 
 ing him. You fell into traps — bore the bites of 
 dogs — stole into his house — poisoned his wife 
 against him — all this you did to injure him who 
 had never injured you. Is this the way that 
 Christians work ? ' ' 
 
 " But he was wicked I '' protested Mr. Pelter, 
 trying, even yet, to hide behind his favorite cover, 
 from his growing sense of meanness. 
 
 '* When did God make you his flail ? Oh, 
 Pelter ! Pelter I You have been wrong in this ! 
 Besides, he is not the wicked man you say he is." 
 
 " But I saw him ! " 
 
 " I tell you there was nothing wrong." 
 
 " Sitting with a woman in his lap ? " 
 
 Joseph's champion was hard pushed here, but 
 she held her ground. 
 
 " You do n't understand it I There was noth- 
 ing wrong, I say ! He is innocent of all the 
 charges made against him, and it 's coming out 
 some day. He '11 be right, and you '11 be wrong I 
 He has no other wife, that you have talked so 
 much about." 
 
 She spoke with such assurance, that Ezekiel 
 began to think that he had been wrong. Then 
 he thouGfht of all the mischief he had made, 
 and all the unjust charges, and his heart began 
 to sink. 
 
 "Why is he here?" be asked.
 
 262 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 '•'■ You brought him here ! " she answered. 
 
 " What — is — the — charge ? " 
 
 " Bigamy ! and it sends him to the peniten- 
 tiary for a term of years if he should be con- 
 victed. This is your work I and the work of your 
 Ladies' Board. This is your Christian work ! " 
 
 Down stepped the paragon from his moral 
 heights! Down dropped his head upon his breast! 
 Down sank his heart, until it cried for mercy 
 and forgiveness ! 
 
 Mrs. Pelter was as quick to help as she was 
 to punish, and when she saw Ezekiel down, she 
 stretched forth her hand to lift him up again. 
 
 " Come ! come ! " said she, " do n't take my 
 words too much to heart." 
 
 But he did take them to heart, and a new 
 illumination filled his mind. Now he saw that 
 all of his shortcomings, that he had scored against 
 the Lord, were written on an open page, and 
 charged against himself. 
 
 " I have often called myself a sinner," said 
 Ezekiel, looking up, " but I never felt like one 
 till now." 
 
 "And I'll venture," said his wife, "that you 
 never stood so fair as now in the sight of 
 heaven." 
 
 Her speech was like a revelation to him, and 
 he really felt himself to be a better man. Now, 
 he saw in his long-neglected wife something to
 
 HE LEAVES THE MORAL HELGHTS. 263 
 
 admire, and seeing it, and being " Pelter," he 
 must speak his admiration. 
 
 " After all these years," said he, " I have just 
 discovered that I left a jewel in my house, to 
 amuse myself with artificial gems." 
 
 Who is too old or faded for Cupid's amorous 
 pranks ? Long athirst for some kind words from 
 him, she . drank these eagerly. And now the place 
 where Mrs. Pelter's heart had been began to 
 glow again, and the fluttering beats behind her 
 corset gave notice that her love was tapping to 
 get in once more. 
 
 With a smile and blush, which even gave a 
 charm to her unhandsome face, she dropped her 
 eyes and then looked up, and with a little laugh, 
 replied : " La ! Pelter ! how you talk." 
 
 Ezekiel's flame was fed by this, and he 
 stretched out his arms. But she eluded him, 
 and with another laugh, and a glance at Joseph 
 and tlie lawyer, said: "Not here — Pelter." 
 
 Joseph's case was brightening now, for even 
 Cupid's bow was bent for him. 
 
 "What's this?" said Mrs. Pelter, as she saw 
 Ezekiel's manuscript upon the little table. 
 
 " It 's Pelter's last ! " said he, and he took it 
 from the table and destroyed it. 
 
 No more shall Mr. Pelter's stirring voice be 
 heard in the ladies' rooms I No more shall 
 Ezekiel's blandness beam upon the Board !
 
 264 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " I never was so puzzled in my life," said 
 Mr. Pelter's lawyer, as he came back to them. 
 
 "How?" asked Mrs. Pelter. 
 
 " Why Mr. Smith declares that he did not 
 know of the arrest of Mr. Pelter, and had no 
 hand in it. He can 't understand, he says, how 
 it is that his name appears in it." 
 
 " Do you believe him ? " asked Ezekiel. 
 
 " Yes, I do ; that 's why I am so puzzled. If 
 I did not believe him I should not be puzzled. 
 I can "t help believing him ; and yet I can not 
 reconcile his statements with what you have said 
 to me. Are you sure that he appeared to make 
 complaint against you ? "* 
 
 " Well, no," said Mr. Pelter, " he did not 'per- 
 sonally appear; it was his man — his coachman." 
 
 *•' Ah ! you did not tell me that. You always 
 spoke of Joseph Smith." 
 
 " Because the coachman said that he was act- 
 ing under orders." 
 
 " The coachman naid ! Why it may have 
 been his own affair entirely. But how is it that 
 the name of Mr. Smith appears upon the books?" 
 
 " Well," said Mr. Pelter, after a moment for 
 reflection, " I did not think of it before, but / 
 gave them his name." 
 
 " You ! " 
 
 " Yes ; they asked me who it was that ordered 
 my arrest, and I told them Joseph Smith."
 
 HE LEAVES THE MORAL HELGHTS. 265 
 
 " Then, really," said the lawyer, with impa- 
 tience, " everything he says is likely to be true ; 
 while you have been misled, and so have misled 
 me — the blind leading the blind. No wonder 
 that we stumble and fall into ditches." 
 
 " Things are coming 'round," said Mrs. Pelter, 
 joyfully. ^ 
 
 "I did not dream," said Mr. Pelter, "that I 
 was misleading you." 
 
 " Well," said the lawyer, " we shall have no 
 trouble in clearing you ; Mr. Smith will secure 
 that. But you will have to stay here for a few 
 days yet, until the court convenes. I don't know 
 but it serves you right for misleading me. If I 
 had known the facts at first, you might have 
 been discharged upon the examination." 
 
 " Perhaps I do deserve a little punishment," 
 said Mr. Pelter, now as meek as Moses. 
 
 The lawyer left, and Mr. Pelter, turning to 
 his wife, began : " Why, it looks as though I had 
 been blundering in everything. I can 't hold up 
 my head before that man I " 
 
 "Nonsense!" said Mrs. Pelter; "the best of 
 us may make mistakes ; and many a man, and 
 woman too, has done what, on reflection, would 
 never have been done. This is what the preacher 
 calls the weakness of our flesh. Rut, after all, 
 it 's only one among the marks we leave on our 
 work to sliow that even patterns are defective. 
 11
 
 266 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 Why, Pelter, men would all be gods if they had 
 no blemishes ; and they would be too — or the 
 perfect copies — if they but kept themselves as 
 God first made them. To confess a fault, and 
 then to ask forgiveness for it, is a manly thing 
 to do ; but to deny it, or to try to crawl 
 around it, is to play the coward — and cowards 
 always hang their heads. Come now, let 's go 
 and talk with Mr. Smith." 
 
 With a braver front, but yet with hesitating 
 steps, he followed her to where Joseph Smith 
 was standing. 
 
 " This good man of mine," said Mrs. Pelter, 
 " begins to think that he has injured you ; and 
 like a man, he wants to say so, and ask for 
 your forgiveness." 
 
 This blunt speech was so different from Mr. 
 Pelter's oily approaches, that it fairly frightened 
 him, and he did not recover till Joseph offered 
 him his hand. Then Joseph said to him : 
 
 " You have caused me trouble, but it is easy 
 to forgive you, when you confess and honestly 
 regret it. Now let 's try to understand each 
 other better." 
 
 Mr. Pelter took his hand, but he could not 
 conceal a look of great astonishment. 
 
 "Why don't you speak?" said Mrs. Pelter to 
 him. 
 
 " Oh ! " replied the great exemplar, " I and
 
 HE LEAVES THE MORAL HELGHTS, 267 
 
 tuosse with whom I have associated have been as 
 blind iis bats ! We claimed to be the models of 
 the world, and spent our time in thanking God 
 that we w^ere not like other men ! No one 
 among us ever thought of doing" such a thing as 
 you have done ! When one injured us, or we 
 thought he injured us, we followed him with 
 maledictions ! And when our lips repeated, ' For- 
 give us our trespasses, as "we forgive those who 
 trespass against us,' in our hearts w^e asked if 
 the fires could not be made a little hotter for 
 our enemies than for the other sinners." 
 
 " Now you 're frank enough, at all events," 
 said Joseph, with a smile. 
 
 " I have received instructions in a new theol- 
 ogy," replied Ezekiel, looking at his wife, " and 
 a better one, I trust." 
 
 " Talk your matters over now," said she, " and 
 I will go and talk with Mrs. Smith." 
 
 " Thank you," said Joseph, with a look of 
 gratitude. " I believe that all of us will profit 
 by your ' new theology ;' for I have heard your 
 exposition." 
 
 With a look of satisfaction, the energetic wo- 
 man left them.
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 SOME VERY STRANGE DEVELOPMENTS. 
 
 Rachel was mucli surprised when slie saw the 
 card of Mrs. Pelter ; but she concluded to re- 
 ceive her, and so went in where Mrs. Pelter had 
 been seated. 
 
 The meeting was embarrassing to botli ; but 
 Mrs. Pelter, in her impetuous way, commenced : 
 " I just left your husband." 
 
 "In prison?" Rachel asked, speaking with an 
 effort. 
 
 "• Yes," said Mrs. Pelter. " And my husband 
 is in there with him." 
 
 "O! What an awful thing it is!" cried 
 Rachel ; and she hid her face behind her hand- 
 kerchief. 
 
 " It 's more likely to turn out in good," said 
 Mrs. Pelter, " for now we begin to see the right 
 of things." 
 
 "What do you mean by that?" asked Rachel, 
 looking at her. 
 
 " Why, it seems that Mr. Smith had no hand 
 
 268
 
 STRANGE DEVELOPMENTS. 269 
 
 at all in Pelter's matter, and knew nothing of 
 it ; so you see that charge falls. Then, as to 
 himself — your husband — and the charges made 
 against him, it is likely to turn out that they 
 were all mistakes. My lawyer thinks so, any- 
 how." 
 
 " Mistakes ! Why, woman, Mr. Pelter saw 
 him " 
 
 " There is the trouble ! " interrupted Mrs. Pel- 
 ter. " Pelter has a wow-derful imagination ! " 
 
 " Do you mean to say that your husband did 
 not see him, as he said he did?" 
 
 "• Well, he begins to thinks so now." 
 
 " Who begins to think so ? " 
 
 " Pelter." 
 
 " He begins" to think that he did not see what 
 he said he saw ? " 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 " Then how could he so mislead me ? It was 
 a wicked thing to do." 
 
 " As I said before, it was his imagination — 
 his ^yoyl-derful imagination ! That Ladies' Board 
 has practiced on it, and drawn him this way 
 and that way by it, until they made him think 
 he saw what he did not see at all. That Board 
 was determined to make out a case against your 
 husband, and they made use of Pelter and hia 
 wonderful imagination." 
 
 " Would you have me understand that the
 
 270 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 Ladies' Board has been trying to make up a 
 case ? " 
 
 '' Eggs-zact-ly ! " 
 
 " What object could they have ? " 
 
 "Why — as they say — it is their mission! 
 They think, somehow, that they are the scourges 
 of the Lord ; and when no one appears for i)un- 
 ishment, they look up some one to whip; they've 
 made a fool of Pelter a hundred times, but now 
 he 's found them out and quit them." 
 
 Mrs. Pelter saw by Rachel's look that the 
 Board t/us suffering at her hands, and she was 
 sharp enough to let the impression work, with- 
 out speaking more of it at present. 
 
 ^ Joseph certainly caused my arrest," said Ra- 
 chel, with more confidence. 
 
 '•No; you're mistaken there," said Mrs. Pel- 
 ter, no less confident. 
 
 " I am not mistaken ! Why do you think I 
 am mistaken ? " 
 
 ••' Because, at daylight, he came to our house 
 to see if Mr. Pelter knew where you had 
 gone." 
 
 " This morning ? " 
 
 " This morning. He did not know that Mr. 
 Pelter was in prison. When I told him of it he 
 was much surprised. He was in distress because 
 he did not know where you had gone. He 
 looked as though he had not slept the night be-
 
 STRANGE DEVELOPMENTS. 271 
 
 fore. If he had you arrested, he would not come 
 around in that way to look for you." 
 
 " Where was he the night before ? " 
 
 "I don't know that; but I thought from what 
 he said that he was watching for you here all 
 night." 
 
 " I will soon convince you," said Rachel, ris- 
 ing, " that 3^ou are wrong in that." 
 
 Here she rang a bell, and a servant came. 
 
 " Was Mr. Smith at home last night ? " she 
 asked. 
 
 " Yes ma'am," the servant answered. 
 
 "When did he come home?" 
 
 " He came to dinner, ma'am, at the usual 
 hour." 
 
 " When did he go out again ? " 
 
 " He did not go out ; he waited here for you." 
 
 "How long did he wait for me?" 
 
 " All night, ma'am ; he did n't go to bed." 
 
 " He went out in the evening ? " 
 
 "No ma'am." 
 
 " But I saw him I I saw him at the theater ! " 
 
 " If you say so, ma'am, of course I '11 not dis- 
 pute it." 
 
 " Then he did go out ? " 
 
 "No ma'am — he did not. We all noticed it 
 particular — and how he walked, and walked, 
 and walked, all the evening, and all the night, 
 and seemed so full of trouble."
 
 272 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " You may go," said Rachel, with such a 
 baffled look as made Mrs. Pelter smile. 
 
 " I know," said Rachel to Mrs. Pelter, that 
 Joseph was at the theater, for I saw him there ; 
 and yet the evidence is positive that he was 
 here ! What is the explanation ? He told me, 
 just before the sheriff took him off, that he was 
 innocent of every charge — and he called God to 
 witness." 
 
 " Do you wonder now that a man of Pelter's 
 wit should make mistakes ? Your husband and 
 yourself are as much at sea as Pelter ever was. 
 Did you ever think that this Board might be 
 playing on your imagination ? " 
 
 "No." 
 
 " Where have all these charges against your 
 husband come from?" 
 
 "From Mr. Pelter and the Board." 
 
 " Pelter will retract ! Does this not leave 
 everything without foundation?" 
 
 " Except as to what / saw." 
 
 " Taking all you saw, can you say from that 
 that your husband was really guilty of what was 
 criminal or wicked ? " 
 
 " Taking what I saw alone, it would not be 
 sufficient. I took that with what was told me." 
 
 " And they took that in making what they 
 told to you. Did you ever stop and ask yourself 
 why they have taken up this thing so earnestly?"
 
 STRANGE DEVELOPMENTS. 273 
 
 " No." 
 
 '' Can you understand it now, when I suggest 
 it ? " 
 
 "No." 
 
 " In every new appearance, have they not 
 always turned the worst side out for you ? " 
 
 " I never thought of it before ; but I think 
 they have." 
 
 " Have they ever tried to put a good face on 
 anything ? even when there was a doubt as to 
 appearances." ^ 
 
 " I believe they never have ! " said Rachel, 
 growing more excited. " But I never looked at 
 things in such a way before." 
 
 " Have they not made you absolutely see some 
 things that you never could have seen without 
 their spectacles ? " 
 
 "It may be so — it is so! But why should 
 they do it ? I never injured them ; and Joseph 
 never injured them." 
 
 " They are meddlers ! " 
 
 And in that one word Mrs. Pelter's case was 
 stated. 
 
 Rachel now began to look upon herself as 
 much more guilty than before. Joseph's visit to 
 the suspected house, from which she took him 
 in a carriage, might have a proper explanation ; 
 and in fact he had attempted to explain, and 
 
 she would not hear him. If Mr. Pelter should 
 11*
 
 274 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 retract, where would be her charge of bigamy ? 
 She would not have a single fact to support 
 the charge. Joseph's presence at the theater 
 would not support it ; and tliat., too, might be 
 explained; besides, Joseph solemnly affirmed that 
 he was not at the theater. How weak her case 
 appeared in the light of Mrs. Pelter's strictures ! 
 How had it ever looked so strong to her ? It 
 must have been the magnifying glasses of the 
 Ladies' Board ! She had felt self-condemned, for 
 sending him to prison, when she believed him to 
 be guilty ; but now, that he might be innocent, 
 her condemnation was increased a thousand times. 
 Her very strength of character made her fault 
 appear more monstrous than it would have 
 seemed to many others, and it crushed her. 
 
 "Go back!" said she — in a sudden outburst of 
 remorse, and kneeling on the floor before her 
 visitor — "and tell my husband that you left me 
 on my knees crying for forgiveness ! " 
 
 " No, no ! "' said Mrs. Pelter, lifting Rachel up. 
 " I would rather take a different message to 
 him — it would distress him less and help him 
 more ; besides, it is too late to go to-night." 
 
 " What message would you rather take to 
 him?" 
 
 " I would rather tell him that, in your hon- 
 est heart, you believe him to be innocent." 
 
 " Tell him that ! I do ! I do ! "
 
 STRANGE DEVELOPMENTS. 275 
 
 " And that you will not associate with that 
 Ladies' Board." 
 
 " Tell him that ! God knows, I 've had enough 
 of them!" 
 
 " And that starting on an honest faith in him, 
 you will join hands with me, and hunt these 
 flying rumors until we catch and strangle them." 
 
 "Tell him that! I will! I will!" 
 
 " Oh why have I not talked with you before ? " 
 
 " Because the ' Ladies ' did not like me, I 
 suppose ; or my blunt ways of speech. I think 
 that you had better see your husband; but not 
 to-night, it is too late, and you need rest." 
 
 " I '11 go to-morrow. And to-night I '11 think 
 of all you 've said to me." 
 
 Mrs. Pelter left her thus, and as she trudged 
 along toward home, she indulged in self-congrat- 
 ulations. 
 
 " A good day's work, I think ! " said she. 
 " Arranged for Pelter's freedom — pitched his 
 idols over — emptied all his oil-cans — given Smith 
 some comfort — and put his wife upon a smoother 
 road to travel." 
 
 " This is an ugly business, after all," said a 
 member, at a meeting of the Board, on the fol- 
 lowing day. "Did you say," (turning to the 
 Austere Member) " that Mr. Pelter was in 
 chains ? "
 
 276 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " Yes ; in heavy chains ! " replied the Austere 
 Member. 
 
 " They do not put chains upon a prisoner un- 
 less the case is a very strong and serious one," 
 the questioner continued. 
 
 "I begin to think," remarked another, "that 
 Mr. Pelter has not given us the truth in all 
 these things." 
 
 " I think so, too," another said. 
 
 "How can you think so?" cried Miranda 
 Traj). 
 
 " Because, the coachman swore " 
 
 "But," Miranda interrupted, "we have already 
 said that the coachman was a perjurer ! " 
 
 " I know we have, and I beghi to think that 
 we have said some other things that we should 
 not have said." 
 
 " Why ! What do you mean ? " 
 
 " I mean," said the questioner, Avith spirit, 
 "that we have been too quick in making 
 charges ! " 
 
 " Why ! What has turned your head so sud- 
 denly ? " 
 
 " Well, I began to feel uneasy about some things 
 and I talked them over with my husband " 
 
 " With your husband ! " cried several voices ; 
 and one continued, " Are we to take men's 
 opinions in our affairs ? " 
 
 " On such subjects," said the Doubting Mem-
 
 STRANGE DEVELOPMENTS. 277 
 
 ber, standing stoutly up, in self-defense, " I think 
 that men's opinions are better than our own." 
 This was heresy. 
 
 " Men's o/)m-ions ! " said the Austere Member, 
 with a snort, and turning up her nose. 
 
 " Well ! " said the doubter, not to be put 
 down, " you have been taking a man's opinion — 
 and acting on it, too — and he not the most 
 prudent man — in my opinion !" 
 
 " Name him ! " said the Austere Member, with 
 a frown. 
 
 "Mr. Pelter!" 
 
 " A-hem ! But he is one of us," said the 
 Austere MemV)er, with some confusion. 
 
 " What did your husband say ? " one asked. 
 " He said that Pelter was a blockhead, and that 
 we should get rid of him ; and that his piety 
 was all a sham I " ( Here Miranda flushed and 
 looked quite furious.) " And he said that we 
 had pushed on Mrs. Smith to make a charge of 
 bigamy, when there was nothing to support it!" 
 " Humph ! " said the Austere Member, throw- 
 ing up her head. 
 
 " Why did .not Mr. Pelter tell us," continued 
 the Doubting Member, " liow he entered what he 
 called the ' abode of sin ' ? The coachman told 
 before the court how that was I He was caught 
 in a trap, and taken to the house, and there 
 examined like a common thief! That is noth-
 
 278 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 ing like the story he made up for us to hear. 
 And my husband says — and I agree with him 
 — that we had better let such things alone ; 
 and instead of prying about our neighbors' 
 houses, that we attend to missionary business — 
 if we have any. Now, I have spoken ! " 
 
 "I — should — think — you — had ! " said the 
 Austere Member, in a rage, for she was the nasal 
 organ of the Board to collect domestic scents. 
 
 The courageous doubter found herself support- 
 ed, and the party of reformers was soon respect- 
 able. They began to question all of Ezekiel's 
 reports, and the husband of the doubter was 
 thought by them to be quite sensible. 
 
 The discussion waxed furious at last, and the 
 reformer's ranks grew stronger. Finally, the 
 Austere Member stood almost alone, and no one 
 would have dreamed, to hear her talk, that she 
 ever could have been upon the moral heights. 
 
 Quivering with rage, and white with passion, 
 she called to the gushing vessel, and these two 
 together left the ladies' rooms, never to re-enter 
 them. 
 
 So, having lost its nose, the Board cared no 
 more for scents, and all their little microscopes 
 were packed aw|iy. Then the members all looked 
 up and saw their telescope, and going up to it, 
 they cleaned off the rust and fixed the object- 
 glass to take new images.
 
 STRANGE DEVELOPMENTS. 279 
 
 On that same day the Board received a strange 
 communication, written in a cramped, irregular 
 hand. They had never seen a specimen of Mrs. 
 Pelter's writing, otherwise they might have known 
 from whom it came. Without remark, or com- 
 ment, or any signature, it read as follows : 
 
 " Thou shalt not go up and down, as a talebearer, among thy 
 people." — (Lev. xix. i6.) 
 
 " The words of his mouth were smoother than butter, but war 
 was in his heart ; his words were softer than oil, yet they were 
 drawn swords." — (Psa. Iv. 2i.) 
 
 " Whoso privily slandereth his neighbor, him will I cut oft." 
 — (Psa. ci. 5.) 
 
 " In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin ; but he 
 that refraineth his lips is wise." — (Prov. .x. 19.) 
 
 " A froward man soweth strife, and a whisperer separateth 
 chief friends." — (Prov. xvi. 28.) 
 
 "Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out; so, where 
 there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth." — (Prov. xxvi. 20.) 
 
 "Judge not, that ye be not judged." — (Matt. vii. i.) 
 
 " For he that will love life, and see good days, let him 
 refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no 
 guile." — (i Peter iii. 10.) 
 
 The royal reveler was not more confounded 
 by the writing on the wall than were the mem- 
 bers of the Board bv this strans'e communica- 
 tion. 
 
 " Who ever thought," said one, " that all of 
 this was in that Book which we profess to take 
 as our guide ? " 
 
 " It condemns us all," another said. And all 
 of them were visibly impressed by it.
 
 280 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 That Board did not soon forget these words ; 
 and even tliey began to grow in charity. 
 
 Mrs. Pelter was at the city prison early in the 
 morning. She reported her success with Rachel, 
 and encouraged Joseph by her confidence. 
 
 Ezekiel had slipped and stumbled, through the 
 night, as he tried to walk in her new way, and 
 felt discouraged when she came. She brushed 
 the oil from his shoes, and gave them a firmer 
 hold when he stepped out, and he took heart 
 again. 
 
 Rachel also came. It was observed by Joseph 
 that she had never been so gentle as when she 
 spoke to him of his confinement. 
 
 Now, for the first time since suspicion and 
 distrust began to grow between them, they talked 
 of all their troubles, and tried to understand each 
 other. Everything was satisfactorily explained, 
 except the story, to which Mr. Pelter still ad- 
 hered, that he did see Julia in Joseph's lap, and 
 the strange encounter at the theater. Joseph still 
 insisted that he was in neither place ; and he 
 spoke with such sincerity that Rachel could not 
 charge him with an intention to deceive. 
 
 " Perhaps," said he, " even this will be cleared 
 up some day." 
 
 It was now plain to Rachel that her charge 
 of bigamy could not be sustained ; and in spite 
 of the conviction that her own rage and jealousy
 
 STRANGE DEVELOPMENTS. 281 
 
 were alone responsible for the present situation, 
 she felt relieved. 
 
 After this, she would not leave her husband, 
 except at night — when she was obliged to go — 
 and then she would return on the following day. 
 So, day after day, she came ; and even in these 
 prison walls they both became more free in all 
 their thoughts than when surrounded by the 
 walls of bigotry and self-righteousness, which 
 closed them in from charity. 
 
 At length the day for Mr. Pelter's trial came. 
 He was formally arraigned, and plead " Not 
 guilty." 
 
 The room was full; for Mr. Pelter's "labors" 
 had made him known to many, and they were 
 curious to see if the great exemplar had been 
 guilty of a crime. The coachman was present 
 as a witness, but John was absent. Indeed, John 
 had not been subpoenaed ; for all the officers sup- 
 posed that Joseph was the one who made com- 
 plaint. John did not know, in fact, that the 
 trial would be had that day. 
 
 Mr. Pelter, feehng certain of acquittal, was 
 serene and bland. He bowed with dignity to the 
 presiding judge, and to the sheriff, and to the 
 prosecuting lawyer, and the curious audience ; 
 then he sat down, and spread his large and spot- 
 less handkerchief across his knee. 
 
 A jury was soon called, and properly examined,
 
 282 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 and sworn in ; and when they took their seats 
 in the jury-box, Ezekiel bowed to ihem^ and let 
 his blandness shine. 
 
 " He 's game ! " said one in the crowded room, 
 " and comes smiling to the scratch." 
 
 "Order in court!" the sheriff cried. 
 
 " Your honor," said the state's attorney, " the 
 prosecuting witness — Mr. Smith — is now in jail, 
 but he has not been tried, and is competent to 
 testify." 
 
 The coachman, hearing this, pricked up his 
 ears, and leaned forward. 
 
 "What is the charge against him?" asked the 
 court. 
 
 " Bigamy," the attorney answered. 
 
 " What 's that ! what 's that ! " said the excited 
 coachman, springing from his seat. 
 
 " Order ! " cried the sheriff. 
 
 The coachman left his seat, and silently ap- 
 proached the sheriff, and in a whisper asked: 
 
 " Did that lawyer say that Mr. Smith was now 
 in jail, and charged with bigamy?" 
 
 " Yes," said the sheriff, " you know it well 
 enough. Sit down ! " 
 
 The coachman stepped back to his seat again, 
 but his face showed such perplexity that those 
 around him were attracted by it. 
 
 " What 's the matter ? " asked one near him. 
 
 " That crazy Pelter said he had two wives ! "
 
 STRAl^GE DEVELOPMENTS. 283 
 
 replied the coachman, "but who could ever have 
 believed it ? '" 
 
 "Who had two wives?" the neighbor asked. 
 
 " Why Mr. Smith ! my master ! To think that 
 he would serve my mistress so ! She 's a angel, 
 sir ! And he was not a bad man. I '11 not believe 
 it till I see him ! " 
 
 "You'll see him soon; they'll bring him in." 
 
 While they were talking the court directed 
 that Joseph Smith be brought, and the sheriff 
 went out after him. The officer soon returned 
 with Joseph Smith in charge. 
 
 "There he is!" said the coachman's neighbor. 
 "Is that the man ?" 
 
 Thomas looked at him, and instantly replied : 
 
 "Who ever could believe it?" 
 
 "Then he in the man?" 
 
 "Yes. Let me out of this! I must sfo and 
 see my mistress! Poor thing! Poor thing! I 
 must break it to her easy; for if she hears it 
 sudden, 'twill be the death of her!" 
 
 Saying this, and in his great excitement not 
 thinking that he would soon be called to testify, 
 he rushed out, and hurried home. 
 
 The first witness called was Joseph Smith. 
 He was sworn, and took the witness-stand. 
 
 States Attorney. — "Will you tell the jury, Mr. 
 Smith, what you know of this affair?" 
 
 Jbsgjo^.— " I know nothing of it, sir."
 
 284 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 State's Atty. — "Nothing! Why sir, did you 
 not order the prisoner's arrest?" 
 
 Joseph. — "No sir." 
 
 State's Atty. — "Was he not found prowling 
 about your house?" 
 
 Joseph. — "Not to my knowledge." 
 
 State's Atty. — "Has he not been caught upon 
 your grounds at night ; and was he not caught 
 near your stable, in a barrel?" 
 
 Joseph. — "Not that I am aware of. I never 
 saw or heard of such a thing." 
 
 State's Atty. — " Well, this is about the cool- 
 est thing I ever saw I At the time of the pris- 
 oner's arrest, your honor, this man went to the 
 station house, and there made statements which 
 he now denies. The grand jury must investi- 
 gate this thing ! " 
 
 Joseph. — "I did not go to the station house, 
 and I knew nothing of the prisoner's arrest un- 
 til he was in the city prison. I do not believe 
 that my coachman knows a thing about it — I 
 never heard him speak of such a thing." 
 
 State's Atty. — "Why do you speak of your 
 coachman ? I have not mentioned him." 
 
 Joseph. — "I have heard the story, sir ; and in 
 the story my coachman is a character." 
 
 State's Atty. — "You are a cheeky fellow: but 
 you shall answer for all this, my man ! " {Turning 
 to the attorney for Mr. Pelter') " Take the witness."
 
 STRANGE DEVELOPMENTS. 285 
 
 Pelters Atty. — "I am satisfied." 
 
 State's Atty. — {Furiously} — " Call the coach- 
 man ! " 
 
 The coachman was called, but he did not an- 
 swer. 
 
 /Sheriff. — "He was here when the case was 
 called." 
 
 A Voice. — "He went home to break the news, 
 he said, to Mrs. Smith ; and to tell her that her 
 husband was in prison." 
 
 Pelters Atty. — " Mrs. Smith is here ; and she 
 knows her husband's situation ; and has been in 
 prison with him." 
 
 State s Atty. — " Another witness trying the game 
 of dodge." 
 
 The Court (to the sheriff). — " Send for the 
 coachman, and have him brought before the 
 court ! " 
 
 Mr. Pelter looked around the room with the 
 greatest satisfaction. He seemed to say, in every 
 look, " See ! how innocent I am ! and yet they 
 have imprisoned me ! " 
 
 He enjoyed the situation even better than he 
 did his play when he clanked his chains in the 
 city prison. 
 
 Mrs. Pelter, who sat by Rachel, back among 
 the benches, quivered with excitement. 
 
 "Hear!" said she, as Joseph testified, "I told 
 you that he knew nothing of it ! "
 
 286 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " But what %8 the truth about it ? " Rachel 
 asked. " I am more confused by every fresh 
 development." 
 
 " This proves more than that Pelter was ar- 
 rested by some other person, and without the 
 knowledge of your husband." 
 
 "What more?" 
 
 " Why, do n't you see ? If it was not your 
 husband who saw Pelter in the barrel-trap — 
 and Pelter told us both that he iva^ caught there 
 — then it was not your husband who was in the 
 house! And it was some other lap the ivoman sat 
 in ! Whoever that man was, he came out, and 
 saw Pelter in the trap ! " 
 
 " Can that be possible ? O ! I hope so ! " 
 
 " And if that is true, then, do n't you see, if 
 there is a man so much like your husband that 
 Pelter could not see the difference, perhaps it 
 was that same man that you saw at the theater ; 
 for, remember, he was with the very woman ! " 
 
 " That would leave my husband clear of every- 
 thing I " said Rachel, "and show that he had 
 told the truth in everything. But how can one 
 man be so like another ? " 
 
 " There you have me," answered Mrs. Pel- 
 ter. 
 
 "Joseph had a brother — a twin-brother — " 
 said Rachel, musing, " who was so much like 
 Joseph that he was mistaken for him often ; but
 
 STRANGE DEVELOPME^fTS. 287 
 
 they have not met for over thirty years — and 
 Joseph thinks that John is dead." 
 
 "Why have you not thought of this before?" 
 asked Mrs. Pelter, much excited. " Why should 
 your husband's brother be more likely to be 
 dead than your husband? If your husband's 
 brother should be here, we would have a key 
 to all the mysteries. Then it would appear that 
 your husband's brother was where he had a 
 right to be, and where he should be — with his 
 wife ! " 
 
 " You reason like a lawyer," answered Rachel, 
 admiring her. "With your clear brain, I could 
 have solved the riddle, and saved myself from 
 misery. I have been a blind and foolish woman, 
 and I shall not blame Joseph if he never can 
 forgive me." 
 
 " You go too far in saying that. He must 
 admit that appearances convicted him, and that 
 it would require a stronger faith than mortals 
 have, to hold him guiltless in the face of them. 
 As soon as we get out of this, we must search 
 for this brother of votir husband."" 
 
 '• What a comfort you are to me ! " said Ra- 
 chel, with emotion ; " and yet the ladies told me 
 that you were not a Christian." 
 
 " As they understand it, I am not," said Mrs, 
 Pelter. 
 
 " But as you understand it ? "
 
 288 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " I try to be," said the honest woman, with 
 a look and tone of modesty. 
 
 " How do you understand it ? " 
 
 " I can only state it in my simple way." 
 
 "And that is—?" 
 
 " To love God and trust in Him ; and to 
 believe that He loves me, and is not a monster 
 to be feared." 
 
 There was a beauty in these simple words that 
 Rachel had never found in all her austere creeds. 
 
 When Thomas, the coachman, reached John's 
 house, he was so blown that he could scarcely 
 speak. He sat down in the kitchen to recover 
 breath. 
 
 " Why, Tom ; what 's the matter ? " asked a 
 servant. 
 
 Thomas only shook his head. 
 
 " What is it, Tom ? " another asked. 
 
 "It's trouble! that's what 'tis," said Thomas. 
 
 Now, more curious, the servants pressed him 
 with their questions. But he only answered by 
 an inquiry : "Is she home ? " 
 
 "Who?" 
 
 " Mrs. Smith, of course ! " 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 "Where is she?'' 
 
 " Up stairs. But what is it, Tom ? " 
 
 "Don't bother me! I want to think." 
 
 They could not get another word from him ;
 
 STRANGE DEVELOPMENTS. 289 
 
 and he sat there silent, until he had determined 
 on a way to " break it easy " to his mistress. 
 
 Then he left the kitchen and went up stairs. 
 He met Julia in the hall, as she was coming 
 from the family room. 
 
 She looked at him, then stopped and asked : 
 " What is it, Thomas ? You look frightened." 
 
 He looked down upon his hat, as he turned 
 it in his hand, and answered slowly : " It 's 
 hard lines, mistress." 
 
 "What?" asked Julia. 
 
 " It 's hard lines, I say ; that about your hus- 
 band." 
 
 " John ? " 
 
 " Yes, ma'am." 
 
 " What about him, Thomas ? " 
 
 " Why, ma'am — " and here he hesitated. 
 
 "Why don't you speak?" said Julia with 
 impatience. 
 
 " It 's hard to speak it, ma'am." 
 
 " What did you come here for ? To try my 
 patience ? If you have anything to say, say it ! " 
 
 " He 's in trouble, ma'am." 
 
 "Who? My husband?" 
 
 " Yes, ma'am." 
 
 " I think not, Thomas. Why do you think 
 he is in trouble ? '" 
 
 " Because — they 've caught him." 
 
 "Caught him! How? What do you mean?" 
 12
 
 290 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 " Why, ma'am, what that crazy Pelter said 
 turns out true." 
 
 -What?" 
 
 " About the other wife ; they 've got him in 
 the jail for it." 
 
 "Who have they in jail — Pelter?" 
 
 " Yes, he 's there, too." 
 
 " He 's there too ! Why, do you think that 
 my husband is in prison ? " 
 
 " Yes, ma'am ; I know he is." 
 
 Julia turned and opened the door just closed 
 by her, and said : " John, come out here, will 
 you ? and see if you can understand this man." 
 
 John came out, and the coachman stared at 
 him. 
 
 " What is it, Thomas ? " John inquired, 
 
 " Why," said Thomas, staring still, " how did 
 you get here before me ? " 
 
 " Get here before you ! Why, man, I have 
 not been out to-day." 
 
 "The Evil One is in it, sir!" 
 
 "In what?" 
 
 " When I 'm there, you are there ; and when 
 I 'm here, you are here ! There you are ar- 
 rested, and in the sheriff's hands ; here you are 
 with your wife, and not at all arrested ! It 's 
 too much for me ! " 
 
 John and Julia looked at one another in 
 amusement; and perhaps they wondered if the
 
 STRANGE DEVELOPMENTS. 291 
 
 air was not infected ; for the coachman's talk 
 was more obscure than Pelter's. 
 
 " Come in here," said John, turning to the 
 room again, " and . I will see, if possible, what 's 
 in your head." They all went in. 
 
 "Now," said John, "where have you been?" 
 
 " To the court, sir." 
 
 "For what?" 
 
 " To give my evidence." 
 
 "In what?" 
 
 " In the trial of that crazy Pelter." 
 
 "Is he on trial?" 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 " I should be there, then." 
 
 " You was there ! " 
 
 "What?" 
 
 "I seen you there!" 
 
 " You do not clear it much," said Julia turn- 
 ing, with a smile, to John. 
 
 "Hold on!" said John. "There's something 
 in the fellow's mind, and I must try and follow 
 it." (Turning to Thomas.) " What was I doing 
 there?" 
 
 " The sheriff brought you in, sir, from the 
 jail." 
 
 "Was I a prisoner, then?" 
 
 "Yes, sir." 
 
 "Ha! ha! ha!" laughed Julia. "How very 
 clear you make it ! "
 
 292 THE MISHAPS OP MR. PELTER. 
 
 "What was I in jail for?" continued John, 
 motioning with his hand for Julia to keep quiet. 
 
 " For bigamy ! So the sheriff and the lawyer 
 said." 
 
 This answer struck both John and Julia in- 
 stantly. Here was the same old charge. But 
 now some other man was in John's skin to an- 
 swer for it. 
 
 "Did you look at me?" continued John. 
 
 " Of course I did," said Thomas. 
 
 " But might you not have been mistaken ? 
 Might it not have been some other man you 
 saw?" 
 
 " Will you turn and look into that glass ? " 
 said Thomas, pointing to a pier-glass. 
 
 John turned, and stood before the glass. 
 
 "Is tliat you? In tliereV asked Thomas. 
 
 " No," answered John ; " that is my image or 
 reflection." 
 
 " Well," said the coachman, " when you can 
 find among living men an image as like you as 
 that is, then T '11 say the prisoner might be that 
 other man." 
 
 Such an image, among living men, flashed at 
 once upon John's mind ; and turning quickly to 
 his wife, he said : "I wonder if it can be my 
 brother Joe?" 
 
 "Was he like you?" Julia asked. 
 
 " Yes. But how can Joseph be in prison on
 
 STRANGE DEVELOPMENTS. 293 
 
 such a charge ? He was a very pious soul ; and, 
 in fact, he was my pious father's pride, while I 
 was the castaway and reprobate." 
 
 " His name was Smith," said Thomas, wonder- 
 ing. "That's what they called him." 
 
 " His name was Smith, and he is my image ! 
 It must be my brother Joe!" said John, with 
 much excitement. " Julia, I must go and see 
 what this trouble is, and help him out of it ! " 
 
 " I hope," said Julia, " that he is not guilty of 
 such a crime as Thomas says he 's charged with. 
 But I tell you, John, these sanctimonious men 
 will bear close watching sometimes ; they 're no 
 better than the rest of us ; and too often not 
 half so good." 
 
 " I 'd like to see a better saint than you are," 
 answered John. " But I must be off. Come, 
 Thomas !" 
 
 When they arrived at court, Thomas was taken 
 by an officer and brought before the court. 
 
 "Is that the witness?" asked the judge, with 
 a frowning look on Thomas. 
 
 " Yes, sir," replied the officer. 
 
 "I am more than half inclined," said the judge 
 to Thomas, " to send you to the lock-up I " 
 
 " For - wha - wha - what ? " asked the trembling 
 Thomas. 
 
 " For having left the court-room when you 
 were wanted as a witness ! "
 
 294 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 Here John stepped forward. 
 
 "■ May it please the court," said he, " my man 
 here," (indicating Thomas) " in his surprise and 
 consternation, did not think of his surroundings, 
 and '* 
 
 " Why ! what's this ? " interrupted the aston- 
 ished judge, as he looked from John to Joseph, and 
 from Joseph back to John. "Another Proteus ! " 
 
 This attracted all within the view, and others 
 looked from John to Joseph, and from Joseph 
 back to John. Now, there was a buzz, and 
 whispers of astonishment. 
 
 "It is the KEY ! " cried Mrs. Pelter, rising up 
 in her excitement, and speaking in a voice which 
 could be heard throughout the room. 
 
 "It is my brother John ! " cried Joseph, 
 standing up, and looking at him. 
 
 " Yes, Joe ! you 're right," said John, with a 
 look and tone of gladness. 
 
 " Order in court ! " the sheriif cried, and all 
 was still again. 
 
 Now John continued — speaking to the court 
 again : 
 
 " There is some strange mistake in this affair, 
 I fear, resulting from the remarkable resemblance 
 which you have observed between my brother 
 and myself. If you will allow a little time for 
 consultation, I have no doubt the ends of jus- 
 tice will be subserved by it."
 
 STRANGE DEVELOPMENTS. 295 
 
 " I never saw a resemblance so exact ! " re- 
 plied the judge. " Take time for consultation. 
 I can now begin to see why your brother Jo- 
 seph so persistently denied what we supposed 
 to be the fact. Let the coachman take his 
 seat." 
 
 Thomas took his seat. John went to Joseph, 
 and they took each other's hands, and made such 
 demonstrations of their pleasure as their situation 
 would allow. Then they were joined by Mr. 
 Pelter's lawyer. 
 
 Mr. Pelter was the picture of comic misery. 
 The situation was so far beyond his misty pow- 
 ers of analysis, that he was incapable of cohe- 
 rent reasoning. As though he might find some 
 inspiration there, he looked up to where his wife 
 was standing. 
 
 She, with parted lips and sparkling eyes, 
 grasped and fully understood the whole. By her 
 side was Rachel, with hands clasped on her 
 breast, looking pale and anxious, and her re- 
 morseful soul speaking in her staring eyes." 
 
 " O ! " she hoarsely whispered to Mrs. Pelter, 
 " why did I not trust my husband ? " 
 
 Mr. Pelter's lawyer called the state's attorney 
 to the consultation. Everything was now ex- 
 plained and understood between them. 
 
 " Then," said the state's attorney, " the case 
 against Mr. Pelter falls."
 
 296 THE MISHAPS OF ME. PELTER. 
 
 " And so does the case against my brother 
 Joseph, I should think,"' said John. 
 
 " Undoubtedly,''' replied the state's attorney. 
 " No case can be made out against your brother, 
 for he is innocent; his wife was entirely mistaken.'' 
 
 With these conclusions the conference closed ; 
 and the state's attorney addressed the court, 
 explaining, in all their details, the curious, and 
 comical, and serious mistakes which had ended 
 in these prosecutions. 
 
 Joseph's innocence, as well as Mr. Pelter's, 
 being thus made clear, both, by proper orders 
 and proceedings, were at once discharged from 
 custody. 
 
 " Come on ! " was heard in a sharp and snap- 
 ping female voice, from another portion of the 
 room, and all looked to see from whom it came. 
 A tall, lean form was seen making long and 
 ungraceful strides for the outer door, and a 
 shorter and meeker woman was following after 
 her, Mrs. Pelter, from her position, saw them 
 both, and she quickly recognized the Austere 
 Member of the Board, and the now broken ves- 
 sel, Miranda Trap. And so, without our bene- 
 diction, they make their final exit from these 
 veracious chronicles. 
 
 Mr. Pelter's eyes at last began to open. 
 
 '•" Bless me ! " said he, " who ever could have 
 thought it!"
 
 STRANGE DEVELOPMENTS. 297 
 
 John and Joseph, arm-in-arm, walked out, and 
 waited near the door for Rachel and Mrs. Pelter. 
 
 " Oh Joe ! " said John with a hearty laugh. 
 " To think that I should have to get jou out 
 of such a scrape as this! Charged with bigamy! 
 and going to a theater ! Oh, Joe ! Joe ! Joe ! " 
 and he laughed again. 
 
 Here the impetuous Mrs. Pelter came through 
 the door, and made a rush for Joseph, and 
 caught him by both hands, and congratulated him. 
 
 " Evidently," said John aside, with his laugh- 
 ing eyes on Mrs. Pelter, " Joe is not fastidious 
 as to styles in beauty." 
 
 " Where is Rachel ? " Joseph asked, as soon 
 as Mrs. Pelter gave him time to speak. 
 
 " She 's just inside the door," said Mrs. Pelter, 
 " and won't come out until she knows that you 
 forgive her." 
 
 " Don't she know me yet ? " said Joseph. " I '11 
 go for her, then." 
 
 He went, and came out again with Rachel on 
 his arm. Her face was pale, and her eyes were 
 filled with tears; but a light was shining through 
 her tears, which made her almost seem attrac- 
 tive. Joseph led her up to John, and formally 
 presented her. She blushed and stammered like 
 a frightened girl ; and John, to break the em- 
 barrassment, took her hand and said : 
 
 " I must first ask your pardon, sister, and then 
 12*
 
 298 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 I '11 ask you and this wicked Joe to go home 
 with me. Can you forgive me for my unbroth- 
 erly behavior in the lobby of the theater?" 
 
 Rachel blushed again ; but now she looked at 
 John, and admired his frank and smiling face. 
 
 " The fault was my own, I 'm sure," said she, 
 " and I ask your forgiveness, for insulting you 
 and your charming wife." 
 
 " Charming ! " answered John, with another 
 laugh, "you did not think so then! ha! ha! ha!" 
 " This is Mrs. Pelter, John," interrupted Jo- 
 seph, as he presented his courageous champion. 
 " Ah ! " said John, with a twinkle in his eye, 
 " I have entertained your husband I believe. I 
 gave him the run of my gooseberry bushes, and 
 let him play with Leo." 
 
 Now it was time for Mrs. Pelter's blushes ; 
 but for all of that she admired John. 
 
 " He made you trouble, sir, I know," said she. 
 
 " Oh, do n't mention it," said John. " He 
 
 took me once to his Ladies' Board, and there I 
 
 met a gushing maiden " 
 
 "What's that?" cried Joseph. 
 " Why, Pelter took me to his ' Board,' and 
 they wanted me to tell about the idol worship- 
 ers — it- was rather in your line, that — and now, 
 by Jove, though I never thought of it before, 
 they must have thought that John — the bad boy 
 — was the missionary, Joseph ! "
 
 STRANGE DEVELOPMENTS. 299 
 
 "But who was the gushing maiden?" inquired 
 Joseph, smiling at his brother's raillery. 
 
 " The ' maiden all forlorn ' ? They called her 
 Trap — Miranda Trap. I met her after that one 
 day upon the street, and she would n't look at 
 me ! And Pelter said — he was with her — that 
 I had another woo-man!" 
 
 "Who was with you?" Joseph asked. 
 
 "Why, Julia — my wife." 
 
 " Do you know," said Joseph, " that those 
 women have been swearing that / was the one 
 who made that visit to the Board ; and that I 
 was walking with your wife that day?" 
 
 " Oh, Joe ! you wicked fellow ! " responded 
 John, with a wink at Mrs. Pelter. 
 
 "Rachel!" said Joseph, suddenly, "where is 
 Miranda's letter? That's John's." 
 
 "Joseph!" cried Rachel, in real distress, "if 
 you can forgive my folly, let 's go home." 
 
 John, seeing her distress, dropped his banter- 
 ing tone, and said : " No ! You must all go home 
 with me. You'll find a sailor's welcome in his 
 house and heart. And I want you to see my 
 wife; for she in a charming woman!" 
 
 "Not to-day! not to-day!" said Rachel. "I 
 muHt go home ! " 
 
 " Give me your street and number, then," said 
 John to Joseph, " and I will bring my wife 
 around to your house."
 
 300 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 Joseph gave the street and number, and with 
 this they parted. 
 
 When John reached home he astonished Julia 
 by an explanation of all the strange mistakes. 
 
 '^ Then," said Julia, " it was your brother's 
 wife who watched us at the theater, and made 
 that charge upon you in the lobby?" 
 
 "Yes," said John; "she thought 'twas Joe 
 she saw with you." 
 
 " Well, I am sorry for her, for I know some- 
 thing of the stings of jealousy." 
 
 " I am sorry for her too, for she takes the 
 blame of everything upon herself. We must go 
 over there to-morrow, and you must try to com- 
 fort her." 
 
 " Yes. Then everything is clear, except my 
 curious fancy as to Joseph's wife coming here 
 for you, and your stealing off to her." 
 
 " And since that is a fancy, it can not be 
 cleared," said John. 
 
 On the following day they drove to Joseph's 
 house. Rachel was composed, and almost cheer- 
 ful ; and Julia's manner was so friendly and caress- 
 ing, that Rachel was at once quite charmed. 
 
 When JuHa was introduced to Joseph, he 
 blushed, and was so sensibly confused that John 
 remarked it. 
 
 " It 's all right now," said Rachel, as she saw 
 Joseph's blush, and put her hand on Julia's
 
 STRANGE DEVELOPMElSfTS. 301 
 
 shoulder ; " but you must confess, when T did 
 not know you, and saw you take Joseph in 
 your carriage — " 
 
 " Take Joseph in my carriage ! " repeated Julia. 
 
 " You took me home to lunch one day, you 
 know," said Joseph, still uneasy. 
 
 "What!" cried Julia, "and asked you to take 
 me to the theater?" 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 "Was that you?" 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 "I thought 'twas John!" 
 
 Here Julia laughed, and laughed, and laughed, 
 until the tears ran down her face ; and then she 
 held her sides, and cried, "O dear! O dear!" 
 and laughed again. 
 
 "What is it, Julia? What is it, Joe?" in- 
 quired John. " If there 's anything so funny let 
 us all enjoy it." 
 
 "And I asked you to my houdoirV continued 
 Julia, ready to explode again. " You thought it 
 rather free in a perfect stranger, I suppose. No 
 wonder ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! " 
 
 Then Joseph told the story, and John began 
 to laugh. 
 
 " Wliat did you think, Joe ? Did she scare 
 you ? 'T was well your name was Joseph ! " 
 
 " I thought I 'd better get away," said Joseph, 
 "and — I did!"
 
 302 THE MISHAPS OF MR. PELTER. 
 
 "Did you pull your boots off?" 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 " And walk out slyly in your stocking feet ? " 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 " And your wife was at the door to take you 
 home?" 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 " And then you caught it ? " 
 
 "Well— ra-ther!" 
 
 " Why, I made my wife believe — and I be- 
 lieved it, too — that that was all her fancy." 
 
 Then Joseph, the pride of Israel's heart, and 
 John, the unregenerate, sat down to talk to- 
 gether. 
 
 Julia said to Rachel, as they sat down to- 
 gether : " All this would make a curious story, if 
 written out and printed in a book." 
 
 And so thought the author of these Chronicles 
 when he commenced to write.
 
 PUBLISHED BY S. C. GRIGGS <if CO., CHICAGO. 
 
 GETTING ON IN THE WORLD; or, Hints on Suc- 
 cess in Life.— By Wm. Mathews, LL.D., Professor of English Literature^ 
 etc., in the University of Chicago. Beautifully printed and handsomely bound. 
 
 Price, I vol., 12010., Cloth .$2 25 I Half calf binding, gilt top $3 50 
 
 The same, gilt edges 250 [ Full calf, gilt edges 500 
 
 CoNTE.NTS : — Success and Failure — Good and Sad Luck — Choice 0/ a Pro- 
 fession — Physical Culture — Concentration — Self- Reliance — Originality in 
 Aims and Methods — Attention to Details — Practical Talent — Decision — 
 Manner— Business Habits — Self-Advertising— The Will and the Way — 
 
 Reserved Powet Economy of Time — Money ^ its Use and Abuse — Mercantile 
 
 Failures — Over-Work and Under-Resi — True and False Success. 
 
 " A book in the highest degree attractive, * * and which will be sure \.oJ>ay 
 in dollars and cents many times over the cost of the work, and the time devoted 
 to its perusal." — Lockport Journaly New York. 
 
 "■ It is sound, morally and mentally. It gives no one-sided view of life ; it does 
 not pander to the lower nature ; but it is high-toned, correctly toned throughout. 
 * * There is an earnestness and even eloquence in this volume which makes 
 the author appear to speak to us from the living page. It reads like a speech. 
 There is an electric fire about every sentence."— ^//it^f/a/ Register^ Philadelphia. 
 
 " There is no danger of speaking in too high terms of praise of this volume. 
 As a work of art it is a gem. As a counselor it speaks the wisdom of the ages. As a 
 teacher it illustrates the true philosophy of life by the experience of eminent men of 
 every class and c.-iUing. It warns by the story of signal failures, and encourages by 
 the record of triumphs that seemed impossible. It is a book of facts and not of 
 theories. The men who have succeeded in life are laid under tribute, and made to 
 divulge the secret of their success. They give vastly more than * hints ;' they 
 make a revelation. They show that success lies not in luck, but in pluck. 
 Instruction and inspiration are the chief features of the work which Prof. Mathews 
 has done in this volume." — Christian Era., Boston. 
 
 THE GREAT CONVERSERS, and Other Essays.- 
 
 By W.M. Mathews, LL.D., author of " Getting On in the World." 
 
 I volume, i2mo., 306 pages, with Map, price $1 75 
 
 " As fascinating as anything in ficl\on.''''—Co?tcord 3'Ionitor. , 
 
 " These pages are crammed with interesting facts about literary men and lite- 
 rary work." — New York Evening Mail. 
 
 "They are written in that charming and graceful style, which is so attractive 
 in this author's writings, and the reader is continually reminded by their ease and 
 grace of the elegant compositions of Goldsmith and Iry'm^.^''— Boston Transcript. 
 
 " Twenty essays, all treating lively and agreeable themes, and in the easy, 
 polished and sparkling style that has made the author famous as an essayist. * * 
 The most striking characteristic of Prof. Mathewt' writing is its wonderful wealth 
 of illustration. * * One will make the acquaintance of more authors in the 
 course of a single one of his essays than are probably to be met with in the same 
 limited space anywhere else in the whole realm of our literature."— 7V«^ Chicago 
 Tribune.
 
 PUBLISHED BY S. C. GRIGGS &f CO., CHICAGO. 
 THE WORLD ON WHEELS, and Other Sketches.- 
 
 By Benj. F. Taylor. Illustrated, i vol., i2mo. Price, $1.50. 
 
 " P'ull of humor and sharp as a Damascus blade." — Presbyterian.^ Phil a. 
 
 " The pen-pictures of B. F. Taylor are among the most brilliant and eccentric 
 productions of the day. They are like the music of Gottscharlk played by Gotts- 
 chalk himself; or like sky-rockets that burst in the zenith, and fall in showers of 
 fiery rain. They are word-wonders, reminding us of necromancy ,"with the dazzle 
 and bewilderment of their rapid succession." — Chicago Tribune, 
 
 " Reader, do you want to laugh ? Do you want to cry ? Do you want to 
 climb the Jacob's ladder of imagination, and dwell among the clouds of fancy foj. 
 a little while at least ? Do you? Then get B. F. Taylor's World on Wheels, read 
 it, and experience sensations you never felt before ! * * It is a book of ' word 
 pictures,' a string of pearls, the very poesy of thought." — The Christian, St. Louis. 
 
 "Another of Benj. F. Taylor's wonderful word painting books. * * In 
 purity of style and originality of conception, Taylor has no superiors in this 
 country. The book before us is a gem in evary way. It is quaint, poetical, melo- 
 dious, unique, rare as rare flowers are rare. He has an exquisite faculty of illustra- 
 tion that is unsurpassed in the whole range of American literature." — St. Louis 
 Dispatch. 
 
 OLD-TIME PICTURES and SHEAVES of RHYME. 
 
 By Benj. F. Taylor. Red line edition, small quarto, silk cloth, with eight fine 
 full page illusitrations. 
 
 Price $2 00 
 
 The same, full gilt edges and gilt side 2 50 
 
 John G. Whittier lurites : — " It gives me pleasure to see the poems of B. F. 
 Taylor issued by your house in a form worthy of their merit. Such pieces as the 
 "■Old Village Choir, ^ ' The Skylark,'' ' The Vane on the Spire,' and '■ Jujze,' 
 deserve their good setting. * * I do not know of anyone who so well reproduces 
 the home scenes of long ago. There is a quiet humor that pleabes me." 
 
 " Unless it be Whittier, we know of no American poet so sweet, tender and 
 j;entle in his lyrics as B. F. Taylor. No writer of to-day sings the praises of rural 
 life and scenery as eloquently, and we do not wonder that many of his poems have 
 become classic. The holiday volume of his happy verses. Old Ti.me Pictures and 
 Sheaves of Rhyme is a very eloquent and daintily bound volume, and comes from 
 that growing and reliable publishing house of the West, S. C. Griggs & Company, 
 of Chicago. Taking up this handsomely printed book, we have to linger on the 
 delightful imagery and graceful diction of its pages, glowing as they are with pure 
 and tender thoughts, and the earnest, indescribable music of sunny fields and rural 
 joys. * * No one can read it but will be the better for so doing." — The Albany 
 Morning- Express.
 
 PUBLISHED BY S.C. GRIGGS ^^ CO., CHICAGO. 
 PRE-HISTORIC RACES OF THE UNITED STATES. 
 
 By J. ^^■. Foster, LL.D., Author of " The Physical Geography of the Mississippi 
 Valley,'' etc. 415 pages, crown 8vo, with a large number of illustrations. 
 
 Price, cloth - $3 50 
 
 Half calf binding, gilt top 6 00 
 
 Full calf, gilt edges - - 7 5° - 
 
 " One of the best and clearest accounts we have seen of those grand monumentc 
 of a forgotten race." — London Saturday Review. 
 
 " The reader will find it more fascinating than his last favorite novel."— 
 Eclectic Magazine, N. i '. 
 
 " The book is literally crowded with astonishing and valuable facts." — 
 Boston Post. 
 
 " It is an elegant volume and a valuable contribution to the subject. * * * 
 Contains just the kind of information in clear, compressed and intelligible form, 
 which is adapted to the mass of readers."— ^///^?'o«V Popular Science Monthly. 
 
 " The book is typographically perfect, and with its admirable illustrations and 
 convenient index is really elegant and a sort of luxury to possess and read. * * 
 Dr. Foster's style reminds us of Tyndall and Proctor, at their best. * * He 
 goes over the ground, inch by inch, and accumulates information of surprising 
 jnterest and importance, bearing on this subject, which he gives in his crowded but 
 most instructive and entertaining chapters in a thoroughly scientific but equally 
 popular way. We have marked whole pages of his book for quotation, and finally 
 from sheer necessity have been compelled to put the wliole volume in quotation 
 marks, as one of the few books that are indispensable to the student, and scarcely 
 less important for the intelligent reader to have at hand for reference." — Golden 
 AgCy New York. 
 
 A MANUAL OF GESTURE.— with over loo Figures, 
 embracing a complete system of Notation, with the Principles of Interpretation 
 and Selections for Practice. By Prof. A. M. Bacon. 
 
 Price - $1 75 
 
 " Prof. Bac jn has given us a work that, in thoroughness and practical value, 
 deserves to rank among the most remarkable books of the season. There has in 
 fact, been no work on the subject yet offered to the public which approaches it for 
 exhaustiveness and completeness of detail. * * It is of the utmost value, 
 not merely to students, but to lawyers, clergymen, teachers, and public speakers, 
 and its importance as an assistant in the formation of a correct and appropriate 
 style of action can hardly be over-estimated." — The Pliiladelpkia Inquirer. 
 
 " Prof. Bacon's Manual seems expressly arranged for the help of those who 
 study alone and have undertaken self-instruction in the art of persuasive delivery. 
 The work in the hands of our ministry, well studied, would have the effect of 
 emphasizing the living words of the Gospel all over the land, and making them 
 two-edged with meaning." — The Chicago Pulpit.
 
 PUBLISHED BY S. C. GRIGGS &' CO., CHICAGO. 
 
 PH-ILOSOPHY OF THE PLAN OF SALVATJON. - 
 
 By Rev. J. B. Walker, D.D., with an Introductory Essay by Calvin E. Stowe, 
 D.D. A new edition, with supplementary chapter by the author. Si.xty-seventh 
 thousand, i vol. nmo. Price, $1.50. 
 
 " Though written with great simplicity, it is evidently the production of a 
 mastermind. * * and few works are more adapted to bring skeptics of a certain 
 class to a stand. * * It is the disclosure of the actual process of mind through 
 which the author passes, from the dark regions of doabt and infidelity to the clear 
 light and conviction of a sound and heartfelt belief of the truth as it is in Jesus. 
 
 " There is in many parts of this treatise, a force of argument and a power of 
 conviction almost resistless. 
 
 "It is a work of extraordinary power. * * We think it is !uare likely to 
 lod^ an impression in the human conscience, in favor of the divine authority 
 of Christianity., than any work of the modern press." — London Evangelical 
 Magazine, England. 
 
 " No single volume we ever read has been so satisfactory a demonstration of 
 the truth of religion, or has had so strong a controlling influence over our habits 
 of thought. * * No better book can be put into the hands of the honest and 
 intellectual skeptic. It is overwhelmingly convincing to reason, and leaves the 
 doubter nothing but his passions and prejudices to bolster him up. * * Every 
 minister's library should have a copy." — The Methodist Protestant., Baltimore. 
 
 " It fills a place in theological literature which no other book does. It is the 
 style of the argument which gives power, impressiveness, and perennial freshness 
 to this production. * * We have found in pastoral experience that we could 
 place no better uninspired book than this in the hands of intelligent doubters, or 
 in the hands of new converts, for their aid and guidance. Those who are not 
 familiar with it, will do well to procure a copy and study it carefully. It is worth 
 more than some large libraries to those who read for their profiting.''— T'/z^ Christ- 
 ian at Work, New York. 
 
 THE DOCTRINE OF THE HOLYSPIRIT; Or Phil- 
 osophy of the Divine Operation in the Redemption 
 
 of M a n .—Being volume second of " The Philosophy of the Plan of Salvation." 
 By Rev. T- B. Walker, D.D. Fourth edition, revised and enlarged. Price, 
 $1.50. 
 
 " The author's former able works have prepared the public for the rich treas- 
 ures of thought in this volume. It is a book of foundation principles, and deals in 
 the verities of the gospel as with scientific facts. It is an unanswerable argument 
 in behalf of Christ's life, mission, and doctrine, and especially rich in its teachings 
 concerning the office and work of the Spirit. No volume has lately issued from the 
 press which brings so many timely truths to the public attention. While it is 
 metaphysical and thorough, it is also clever, forceful, winning for its grand truth's 
 sake, and every way readable. The author has wrought a great work for the 
 Christian Church, and every minister and teacher should arm himself with 
 strong weapons by perusing the arguments of this book. It is printed and bound 
 in the exquisite style of all publications which issue from Messrs. S. C. Griggs & Co.'s 
 establishment." — Methodist Recorder , Pittsburgh.
 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY 
 
 Los Angeles 
 
 This book is DUE on the last date stamped below. 
 
 Form L9-Series 4939
 
 UC SOUTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FACILITY 
 
 AA 000 370 335