w m .:•: THE LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LOS ANGELES SPIRITUAL RECREATIONS. SPIRITUAL RECREATIONS IN THE To those who are strangers to the Au- thor of this small volume, and more especially to the many honourable and highly respected friends who have so handsomely counte- nanced it, not only by their own very libe- ral subscriptions, but by their personal exer- tions within their respective circles, it ap- pears necessary that some account of her should be given. Being from her infancy of a delicate con- stitution, she was brought up, by her affec- tionate and pious parents, with the most un- remitted tenderness, and — as may be truly said — " in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Her parents' rank in life might be des- cribed as having been sufficiently respectable; as far removed from the ease of affluence as from the anxiety of dependence ; but in the course of time, the accumulating ex- L. -J VI penses of a family of twelve children, a se- ries of heavy losses in business, the decease of one, and the long protracted sickness of another, combined to exhaust those temporal resources to which they had looked forward for support in the decline of life. The Subject of this brief memoir, after having- spent at a seminary of the first re- spectability in a neighbouring town, those years of early youth which are commonly devoted to the acquirement of such know- ledge as may be necessary to the passing through life with usefulness and honour, re- turned to her native village, in Essex ; and there consecrated both her time and her ta- lents to the education of female children. The village school of a near Relative be- came the scene of her gratuitous services; and the rapid improvement of her Pupils af- forded the most honourable testimony to her unwearied exertions, so disinterestedly shewn, even at the expense of her own health ; so that the device of a celebrated Divine of the sixteenth century, which she often used to admire, (a wasting lamp, with the motto, " I perish in giving light"*) be- * Prselucendo pereo. Vll came, in some degree — though perhaps with- out her being aware of it — descriptive of herself. In the Spring of 1806, when the Author had just completed her nineteenth year, her health was much impaired by her unwearied attention to the objects of her charge ; which obliged her to relinquish the honourable em- ployment in which she had been so cordially and so successfully engaged ; and, in the November following", she was constrained to withdraw herself entirely from the world, through the severity of those afflictions un- der which she has laboured, with very little intermission, ever since. In the history of her sufferings, it may with propriety be noticed, that in one sick- ness she has been confined to her chamber and to her bed for three years successively. More than once she has been brought to the very borders of the grave; and, as being (in her own apprehension) at the very point to die, has taken a most affecting farewell of her surrounding friends. In one or two in- stances, in particular, it was thought that her spirit had actually left the body, as not the smallest symptom of animation had been visi- Mil ble for a considerable time; and that she was, on either of those occasions, really snatched as ont of the arms of death, was considered next to a miracle, not only by her relatives and friends, but even by those gentlemen of the faculty who attended her in every ill- ness ; and whose unwearied assiduity and judicious treatment, will remain a lasting memorial of their superior medical skill, as well as of their kindness, and will long live in the grateful remembrance of herself and of her family. Hardly recovered from the severity of these disorders, she has, in the course of the last six or seven years, been called to endure the accumulated sufferings attendant on three attacks of the Palsy ; with the last of which she was seized December 7, 1819, during a visit to a friend in Kent; where she had been spending a few weeks, in expectation of benefit from the change of air. This last attack, by far the most severe of the three, entirely deprived her of the use of her right side, and of her speech, and greatly impaired the energies of her mind. No hope of life was entertained for several days, neither was she able to speak for many weeks subsequent IX to this attack, and then only in that falter- ing accent which she still retains, (though even that has been often suspended,) while her right side has continued as paralyzed as before. Of the Author's productions, it must be observed, that while they meet the eye of the public as the earnest suppliants of its Cha- rity, they solicit, with no less importunity, the exercise of its Candour also. The subject of them is, undoubtedly, the most important that ever claimed the atten- tion of mankind : the efficacy of the Word of God " to comfort all that mourn," under all the sorrows and adversities to which Sin has exposed the human race! A more strik- ing- proof of which cannot be exhibited to our view, than what was to be seen in that spiritual consolation, that heavenly calm of soul, which the Author has long enjoyed, and still lives to enjoy, in all her trials, from this Word only; whilst, with this earnest in hand, she is waiting for the full possession of that Kingdom and Glory, to which she is assured by that very Word that God hath called her, of His own mere Mercy, through the media- tion of His Son Jesus Christ. The humble and unadorned style in which these few short Poems (and some of them but mere Fragments) are written, it is hoped, will not offend the taste of humane readers, who will be prepared to make every allow- ance for any defects or inaccuracies that may be found in them, when they shall be in- formed, that they were written, for the most part, either in great pain of body, or during those few short intervals of comparative ease, when the violence of her disorder might have been somewhat abated. It were also some apology for the unfinished state in which many of them may appear, that it was not without the earnest solicitation of her friends, (who thought that it might afford a grateful, and not unsalutary diversion to her mind,) that she was often induced to take up her pen so to rescue from sadness and sorrow, some few of those many solitary hours, which it was the will of God she should spend in the chamber of affliction. Many of these little pieces were traced in pencil, upon the envelopes of letters, the blank leaves of books, or upon any scrap of paper that presented itself, when the Author was able, and felt disposed, to write. XI They have at length been collected, and are now published in this small volume, in the hope that, by the blessing- of God, and the kind compassions of the friends of the afflicted, the sale of them may minister, in some degree, to the temporal comforts of the severely afflicted Author, and of her pious, aged, and widowed mother, with whom she resides. The order of time, as to the dates that are affixed to most of the poems, has been no- ticed, for this among other reasons, that a kev misfht be afforded the reader, should any of the Author's very evangelical prose productions be published at some future pe- riod ; which will depend, in a great mea- sure, upon the reception that may be given to the present specimen. The Editor thinks it proper to add, that it is not more from a personal knowledge of the Author and her family, or from the sym- pathy which their present condition could not but excite in him, that he has taken such an interest in the publication of these poems, than from the Subject itself on which they are written ; and having himself some lit- tle acquaintance with the important truths XII which are so justly and so experimentally set forth in them, he begs leave to give this un- assuming' little volume his most sincere and warmest recommendation; being fully as- sured, that the hour is fast approaching, and to the Reader, perhaps, may be very near, when all that is sublime in Poetry or Philo- sophy, or all that ever was accounted excel- lent in human Eloquence and Learning, will sink into their deserved oblivion before the sublime Truths of Revelation inculcated in many an artless line in this small volume; Truths, indeed, which shall then shine forth in all their native splendour, and, in the expressive language of the Author, shall Live: " Live when this world 's inwrapt in flaming fire, And all its transient glory 's pass'd away !" W. H. C. Foot's Cray, Dec. 7, 1820. CONTENTS. -♦-•- PART I. DOCTRINAL AND EXPERIMENTAL. The Cross of Christ 3 The Prayer for Divine Remembrance answered 5 The Search after Happiness 7 Happiness where to be found 10 The Grand Resource 14 Longing for the return of the Beloved 15 Invitation 17 Resignation 18 The Lord, the Banner of His people 19 The Rest for weary Pilgrims found 22 Supplicating the enjoyment of Pardon 23 The Lord's knowledge of His people 25 Increasing Afflictions softened 27 Solitary Sabbaths enlivened 29 The Believer's Sorrows alleviated 31 Thanksgiving 32 The Resolution of Youth 33 A Fragment 34 The Courts of the Lord prized and desired. 35 Confidence amidst inward Trials .'37 XIV Conquest 39 Encouragement amidst the Difficulties of the way. ... 40 Desiring to depart 42 Seeking , 45 The Discovery 47 The Believer's Confidence under dark Dispensations. . 48 The Entreaty 50 Light Shining in Darkness 51 The Enquiry 52 Longing for Consolation 54 The trembling Suppliant encouraged 56 Afflictions sanctified 59 Past Deliverance 61 Happiness promised but never found 63 Thoughts of Home 66 The Believer's Assurance of Immortality and Glory 67 Solitary Musings 68 The Christian's Consolation under Affliction 70 The Gracious Dedication 73 PAKT II. WRITTEN ON VARIOUS OCCASIONS. Letter to Mrs. S. on the death of her Husband 79 Elegiac Lines to Mr. S.'s memory , 81 On leaving London for my native Village 83 To my Brother and Sister, T. S. G 84 A Dream 86 Another Dream 88 For my Nephew I. S. G. to recite on his Birth-day. .. 90 A Token of Remembrance 91 Consolatory Address to my Sister S. J. G „. 93 Reflections on the Morning of the Lord's Day 97 Musings at Midnight on the Banks of the Crouch.. 99 Home 101 To my motherless Nephews I. and W. S 102 To my Brother D. on his Birth-day 1 06 On reading Miss Smith's Works 108 Recollections in the Wilderness Ill To my Pen , 115 On my own Departure 117 Recollected Pleasures 118 To the Fair Sex 119 The Gift of Friendship « 122 Reflections on the Close of the Year 125 XVI To my Family on new Year's day . . J 28 To the Memory of an affectionate Female Servant.. .. 131 Elizabeth-Sarah to Sarah-Jane 135 Lines for my Nephew W, I, G, S, to recite 1 39 The Ties of Nature 141 The Grateful Memorial 142 Reflections on my Birth-day 145 On beholding my Brother's Children 147 Midnight Musings 148 Recollected Kindness 1 50 Ode. To my Sister's Bird 152 Remembrance of Rural Walks 163 A Memento of Affection • 155 The Request 157 To the Memory of Mrs. H. Chamberlain 160 To my Nephew and Niece D. and E 163 Filial Effusions 166 Memorial of Gratitude 168 To the Memory of a dear departed Father and Sister. 171 To a Christian Mother on her Son's coming of age. . . 174 The. Christian Mother's Address to her Son 177 A Monumental Inscription 181 PART I. DOCTRINAL AND EXPERIMENTAL. THE CROSS OF CHRIST THE FOUNDATION AND THE GLORY OF THE CHRISTIAN'S HOPE. " Meum desklerium crucifixum est." My Love is crucified. ignatius. " Prodigious pile of wonders ! rais'd too high For the dim ken of frail mortality.'' pitt. Alas ! what gloomy fears oppress, What tempests shake this lab 'ring mind ! Where, from such scenes of deep distress, Can guilty souls a refuge find ? Jesus ! I'll shelter in thy side : — My Lord, my Love, was crucified! Heard ye that deep, expiring groan ? Saw ye my Saviour bow His head ? Died He for sins Himself had done ? Ah no ! He sufYer'd in my stead ! " Tis finish'd!" the Redeemer cried,— My Lord, my Love, was crucified ! Ah ! view that mild, majestic brow, Encoinpass'd with a thorny wreath ! See ! see the purple torrent fl ow ! His form, how lovely, ev'n in death ? Saw ye that pierc'd, that bleeding side ? My Lord, my Love, was crucified ! O love unparallel'd ! extreme ! That God's own Son His life should give! From His own veins forth flows the stream That bids the dying sinner live ! Well may I cast my fears aside— My Lord, my Love, was crucified! Come, then, my soul ! no more complain, Forget thy sorrows and proceed ; Thou shalt with Jesus live and reign, For he is ris'n — " is ris'n indeed !" No pow'r from Him shall e'er divide — Thy Lord, thy Love, is glorified ! Feb. 14, 1813. THE PRAYER FOR DIVINE REMEMBRANCE ANSWERED. " Lord, remember vie, now thou art in thy kingdom.'" " O Israel, thou shalt not be forgotten of me, saith Jehovah." In midst of sorrows, doubts, and fears, Of lamentations, sighs, and tears, When no bright beam of hope appears, Dear Lord, " Remember me !" I hear the winds careering wild, The inward storm is not more mild ; Dost thou not listen to thy child, Who cries, " Remember me ?" Methinks, enthron'd above the skies, My Saviour knows what trials rise My feeble mind to exercise, And will " remember me." Yes, though at distance from my home, And like a wand 'ring sheep 1 roam, " I come," my shepherd says, " I come," " For I remember thee." G " I ne'er forget the blood I shed, " The wrath I suffer'd in thy stead ; " And since I rais'd thee from the dead, " I still remember thee.' 11 Though through a howling wilderness " Thy path-way lies, yet onward press ; " I'll succour thee in thy distress, " For I remember thee." " Fear not the troubles of the way ; " The darkest shades shall yield to day ; " Still shalt thou hear thy Saviour say, " 1 will remember thee." Satan may whisper, " Thou art lost !" My fairest schemes may all be cross'd ; Yet still the promise stands indors'd, " I will remember thee !" Trials unheard-of may attend To wrest my soul from Christ her Friend, But hark ! those words the dungeon rend, " I will remember thee !" Oh ! how His smiles my spirits cheer ! Methinks I see Him ev'ry where ; Methinks, in ev'ry breeze, I hear, " I WILL REMEMBER THEE !" Feb. 13, 1813. THE SEARCH AFTER HAPPINESS. " Why seek ye the living among the dead?" " Thus saith Jehovah, Seek ye me, and ye shall live.'' Press'd to the earth with long-continu'd ills, None but my God can know the pains I feel; And none but He those mental sufPrings heal For which the sigh breaks forth, the trembling tear distills. Oft have I sought by Reason to assuage, These keen sensations that distress my mind ; Alas ! in vain ; still would the tempest rage, Nor could I from my woes a refuge find. Foil'd here, I seek for comfort from the Fez&, The friendly few whose converse used to cheer ; Glad would they give, if they the cordial knew; Theirs is the glow of love, in heart sincere. Still unreliev'd, to Solitude again Mourning I turn, and trace the Poefs page; And, not unfrequent, take the fav'rite Pot, Using all arts my sorrows to assuage. 8 But ah! the aim is fruitless. Grief and pain By solemn touch of Music oft have fled ; But music's solemn touch will not succeed, To chase the troubled thoughts that in this breast remain! Methinks I hear a busy Trifler say, " Why seek in solitude thy mind to calm ? " Rather, with us, come, tread the flow'ry way, " And prove the truth that 'novelty can charm r' "Ah! come and gather roses while they bloom! " Our gay society will soon dispel That dark, that mournful, melancholy gloom — " Come, join our happy circle, and be well !" a And is the grand specific really yours ? I like the purchase, but the price is high! Too high, if but the present it secures, And leaves the future in uncertainty. I cannot, dare not, join your merry train, And for repentance lay up bitter store ; Alas! I've found those joys all end in pain — No : I will trust their specious front no more. Where shall the weary find a resting-place ? Whither, O whither shall the exile roam ? Banish'd thine earthly courts, O God of grace! My mourning spirit asks a heav'nly home. Oh*! in that world, where my best hopes reside, Where He, my glorious Head, sits high enthron'd ; Soon may this faith, now in the furnace tried, Find, not for nought He sufTer'd and He groan'd. O blest Religion! If such joy as this, From thy pure fount can flow, the mind to cheer, Thine is the cordial — thine the cup of bliss ; And thine the only antidote to fear. Then, though each ling'ring year, receding, leaves My health still varying, and my faith still -tried, Firm shall my soul in Jesus' love confide, — And banish'd be the sigh which now my bosom heaves 1 May 5, 1812. HAPPINESS, WHERE TO BE FOUND. " Religion ! thou soul of happiness, And, groaning Calvary, of thee." youkg. " Happy is the man that findeth wisdom." " But where shall wisdom be found ? Man knowcth not the place thereof; neither is it found in the land of the living. The depth saith, It is not in me: and the sea saith, It is not with me. Whence then cometh wisdom 1 ? Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom. 1 " I long to find my narrow bed, To slumber with the peaceful dead ; Then, though the storms around me rave, And wintry winds howl o'er my grave, I shall securely rest ; Free from the tempter's mighty pow'r, The foe who studies to 'devour, The way-laid snare, th' insidious smile, The fiery dart, the subtle wile, Nor longer be distrest ! 11 Alas ! each step I take, I see That all on earth is vanity — A bubble on the stream : Then why should I desire to dwell 'Midst scenes so very changeable ? Life's a mere flitting dream ! Did mortals e'er below the skies. Find happiness, that solid prize, That treasure, worth pursuit ? M ethinks I see the sinking brow, The pensive feature, answer, " No !" For sin lies at the root. The rich, the giddy, and the gay, Dance thro' life's little, fleeting day, And fondly hope to find In Dissipation's varied road, 'Mid mirth and splendour, her abode : Nought else attracts their mind. Yet, no ! such follies will not do : In vain the multitude pursue — The beauteous phantom flies : They follow still the devious way, Not knowing that it leads astray, Though oft a doubt will rise. 12 Many there be who fondly dream, In quiet, (opposite extreme) They shall the Ruby gain ; Books, literary pleasures, choose — The grove, the garden, or the muse, In vale, or hill — in vain ! For ah ! Experience can attest, 'Tis not the sad recluse's breast That forms her blissful seat ; The mind must soar to nobler heights, The muse must take sublimer nights, Ere happiness they meet. Wisdom ! for that's thy name — thy home Is not in paths where mortals roam ; Thy dwelling is on high ! Far off, and dimly I behold (Star-pav'd thy throne of- purest gold) Thee, seated radiantly. I view — and while I view, I loner To be thy favour'd sons among ; Thy sons — the sons of God ! To find that bliss, on earth denied, That rest, for which in vain I've sigh'd, In this my dark abode. 13 Who are the happy ? Only they Who, in the consecrated way, Have walk'd by light divine ; Who, by almighty grace, have striv'n With three-fold foes;— to whom 'twas giv'n As stars on earth to shine. O ! may my lot with them be found When the last awful trump shall sound, And Christ descend again ; Then, far beyond temptation's reach, My new-fledg'd pinions shall I stretch, And happiness obtain ! Sept. 16, 1813. 14 THE GRAND RESOURCE IN EVERY TIME OF NEED. " God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.'' " Is any among you afflicted ? let him pray." Where shall the poor afflicted pilgrim find A balm to soothe the anguish of her mind ? Where shall my long-tried spirit seek repose, From all the tossings that this bosom knows ? I look within — alas ! the search is vain ; For all within is darkness, sin, and pain. Ah ! whither must I fly ? The wound is deep, And still I wake to sigh, and live to weep ! Is there no comfort for the mourner's care ? And must I sink in anguish and despair ? In vain for ease I turn to aught below — My dearest friends zcould help, but know not how. To thee I look, my Father and my God, While smarting under thine afflicting rod, And while I seek the rest Thou hast to give, Look Thou on me, and whisper, " Sinner, live !" April 1808. 15 LONGING FOR THE RETURN OF THE BELOVED. Written in bed, during great depression of mind. " 'Tis no mean beauty of the ground That has allur'd my eyes, I faint beneath a nobler wound Nor love below the skies." watts. when wilt Thou comfort me? Return, return, ye blissful hours, Ye animating days ! On memory exert your pow'rs And tune my heart to praise ! . Come, Lord ! and cheer my lonely room, And teach my mind to rise Above this spirit-sinking gloom, To mansions in the skies. Spread a sweet influence o'er my heart, And dissipate my fears ; Thy renovating balm impart, And stop these flowing tears. When Jesus hides his smiling face, My comforts all are flown : O for the visits of His grace ! Those visits I have known. 16 Cheer up, my soul ! nor doubt his love, Nor lay thy hopes aside ; He still will thy Deliv'rer prove, And make thy grief subside. Then shall those days once more return, And rest and peace be thine ; Then shalt thou cease to sigh and mourn, And taste of bliss divine ! March, 1309. 17 THE INVITATION " The Spirit and the Bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely." Afflicted, tempted, tried, and poor, I seek a shelter from the storm ; I knock at willing Mercy's door, And ask for refuge for — a worm I The rest I seek is freely giv'n, In Jesus' bosom there is room*; And where He is it must be heav'n, And " whosoever will" may come. Diseased, blind, deaf, lame, or faint, Jesus receiv'd and made them whole - r And gave relief to each complaint Of ev'ry burden'd, sin-sick souL Come, then, and try the Saviour's pow'r To ope thine eyes, and heal thy mind; Weary or guilty, come, this hour,, And thou the promis'd rest shalt find. April 10, 1309. 18 RESIGNATION, " Be still, and know that I am God." " O be my will so swallowed up in Thine, " That I may do Tuv will in doing mine." Mks. II. Mom:. Worn down with sickness, and by grief deprest, Through faith I clasp my Saviour to my breast, And call Him mine ; He'll not refuse the claim, But suffer me to bear His precious name. Come, then, whatever grief, or pain, or gloom, Since He is mine, I have in heav'n a home. On him relying, I can boldly say, " Give me Thyself, take what thou wilt away !" My health, my ease, for this dear Saviour's sake, A trifling sacrifice, I gladly make ; And, through His grace, content with His decrees, I patiently submit my will to His. June 19, 1810. 19 JEHOVAH-NISSI : OH THE LORD THE BANNER OF HIS PEOPLE. Written on the bed of affliction, and in grateful remembrance of the Lord's goodness in preserving the Author during a violent temptation. He is faithful that promised." Above, beneath, on either side, Dark did the tempest roll, And no sweet promise was applied To ease my anguish'd soul. I look'd for comfort from above, Amidst the dreadful storm ; And sought the Saviour whom I love, A wonder to perform ; But ah ! my sufferings increased, I thought I must despair ; I fear'd His love for me had ceas'd, That He refus'd my pray'r : Yet could my heart, like one of old, Oppress'd with anguish, say, Though He me slay, I'll keep my hold, Nor cease on Him to stay, c 2 20 Mine is a God who does not love His children's griefs to view ; Though He delights His grace to prove, Ere He His mercy shew. He wounded in the tend'rest part, To make me feel my need ; Then pour'd the balm into my heart, And prov'd a Friend indeed. This is the God in whom I trust ! This is the God I fear! And when His summons wakes the just, I shall with them appear. God is my Father, Christ my Friend, The Holy Spirit mine; Through life, in death, and to the end, I'll sing of Love divine. Of Love, that kept my head on high, Above the tempter's pow'r ; Love, that shall raise me to the sky, When tempests cease to low'r. I'll set my foot upon the foe, And still, by grace upheld, From conq'ring, on to conquer go, Until he quit the field. 21 Then shall my soul, from sin set free, As captive from his chain, Sing of His Love who died for me, In an immortal strain. Take, then, the thanks, the heartfelt praise, Of thine afflicted child, O Thou, who hast my head uprais'd, And now upon me smil'd ! And leave me not, my gracious God, To suffer thus again, Lest, while I smart beneath Thy rod, And, agoniz'd with pain, Satan should tempt my soul to say, Thy chastisement is hard ; But still preserve me from his sway, And be his pow'r debarr'd. Thou canst not leave me to be lost, Unheeded in the storm ; Thou know'st the wondrous price I cost, Though a polluted worm ! — For I am Thine ! Thy ransom'd one ! Bought with Thy precious bloody And here record Thy pow'r I've known, Jesus! my Lord! my God! August 7, laoo. .).) THE REST "for weary pilgrims found." " For ye are not as yet come to the rest and to the inheritance, which the Lord your God givcth you" " There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God." Toss'd on the troubled waves, behold! we come, To seek a peaceful, a perpetual home ! Immers'd, O Lord, in life's deceitful sea, We waft a wish for happiness and Thee ! Thou, Saviour, art our bright, our morning Star! To Thee we look, when wand'ring, from afar; And, by Thy light, regain the long lost road, That leads to peace, to joy, to Thine abode ! Sept. 180<). 23 SUPPLICATING THE ENJOYMENT OF PARDON, UNDER CONTINUED CORPOREAL SUFFERINGS. " Thou only centre of my rest, Look down with pitying eye, While with protracted pain opprest, I breathe the plaintive sigh." mrs. steei.e. " Look upon mine affliction and my pain, and forgive all my sins." Long have I lain beneath affliction's rod, And nature oft has murmur'd at its stroke ; Yet Faith, aspiring, leads me to my God, And, through the cloud, His mercy I invoke. I know the hand whence all my trials come, Teeming with blessings from my gracious Lord! But when my sins appear they strike me dumb, Such awful threat'nings clothe His sacred word. Where shall I go to hide me from His frown ? Whither, for refuge, shall a sinner fly ? The burden of my guilt still weighs me down, But Jesus died for sinners, vile as I. 24 w \ O Lord ! remove the stroke that lays me low (Not for my own, but for my Saviour's sake) One cheering smile upon my soul bestow, My joys restore, ere my prest spirit break. Spare Thou my life ! if so Thy will approve ; Let me once more, through boundless mercy, see My soul's assurance in redeeming love — That Jesus died, and — that He died for me. Then, should Thy Wisdom please t' increase my pain, Assur'd of Thy forgiveness, I can bear Thy righteous will, though not restor'd again, And, " midst the fires," proclaim my Father's care ! Sept. 13, 1809. 25 THE LORD'S KNOWLEDGE OF HIS PEOPLE IN ALL THEIR ADVERSITIES. Written in bed, after a season of extreme mental and corporeal anguish. 11 I will be glad and rejoice in Thy mercy ; for Thou hast considered my trouble ; Thou hast known my soul in adversities ; and hast not shut me up into the hand of the enemy." O'erwhelm'd with the waves of affliction, I cried, And lift up my voice to my God, — " And wilt Thou, O Lord, leave my sorrowful side, Oppress'd with the weight of Thy rod ? The darkness of night has envelop'd me round, My soul flees for refuge to Thee ; I know that Thy grace and Thy mercy abound, Thou only my spirit canst free. Long since have I trusted, and prov'd Thou art good ; Thy presence has oft cheer'd my heart ; And wilt Thou, now l Satan comes in like a flood,' Will Jesus, my Saviour, depart?" — I cried — while the billows roll'd over my head, And Satan strove hard to prevail ; I knew that the Lord, in His promise, had said His faithfulness never should fail ; 26 " But was it to me that the promise applied ? " Might / in its blessedness share ?" — Sunk deeper and deeper, desponding I cried, There's nothing for me but despair i How painful the conflict! but God, of His grace, The darkness of night turn'd to day, And, cheer'd once again by His reconcil'd face, Rejoicing, 1 went on my way. Rejoicing I went — expecting no more Such times of temptation would come ; Look'd forward with joy, when the trial was o'er, And long'd for my heavenly home. But ah ! my poor heart, unbelieving and vile, (When, when will thy wanderings end !) In moments of sorrow alone, an exile, Thou lookest to Jesus thy Friend ! No sooner the rod was remov'd, than, so soon, Relying on feeling and frame, Thou thoughtest the future would always be noon, And thy love, an undying flame : But since, thou hast learned, by experience taught, Whatever thy comforts may be, They are by the Spirit's own energy wrought, And spring from thy Jesus — not thee. Dec. 1809. 27 INCREASING AFFLICTIONS SOFTENED BY THE RECOLLECTION OF THEIR DIVINE APPOINTMENT. " Lord, I am pain'd ; but I resign My body to Thy will ; 'Tis grace, 'tis wisdom all divine, Appoints the pains I feel." watts. " My times are in Thy hand." With wave impelling wave, my feeble mind, Cheer'd with the blissful hope of endless peace, Desires to be to all His will resign'd Who sent affliction, and can bid it cease. I feel my weakness, but I know His grace Is all-sufficient, and divinely free ; That, from His book, my name he'll ne'er erase, But strength command as ev'ry day shall be. Yet there are seasons when my spirits sink, And gloomy doubts, with soul-distressing fears Oppress my mind; then trials make me shrink, Till once again His smiling face appears. 28 My Parents' sufFrings swell my sorrows too, While wearied nature painful scenes portrays, And trembles, lest the oft-repeated blow Should summon them, and leave me 'midst my davs. Yet why should I regret, or wish their stay, Since this weak frame must soon forget its pain ; And while our bodies mingle with the clay, Our ransom'd souls, in heav'n, shall meet again. 1309. 29 SOLITARY SABBATHS ENLIVENED BY DEVOTION AT HOME. " How dull the Sabbath-day, Without the Sabbath's Lord ! How toilsome then to sing and pray, And wait upon the word ! cowper. " Where too or three arc met together in my. name, there am I in the midst of them" While pensively thinking of mercies departed, Of times that, to me, are for ever gone by ; How oft from these eyes has the silent tear started ! My heart been betray'd by the ill-stifled sigh ! There once was a time, when with joy I attended The preaching of Grace and of Mercy so sweet ; But now, from my bosom this pleasure is rended, No more with the church upon earth shall I meet. O might I, in solitude, find Thou art present, And list to that voice which can calm all my fears! Seclusion with Thee, O my God ! is most pleasant, In converse with Thee ev'ry pain disappears. 30 O deign once again to illumine my dwelling ! O shed once again o'er my soul a sweet ray ! Thy smile, from my mind all its darkness dispelling, Removes in that instant its sorrows away. I'm poor, I am needy, am weak, and afflicted ; Thou — gracious, and rich, and almighty in pow'r ; Thy Presence, to place nor to person 's restricted, Accessible art Thou in every hour. Debarr'd from attending Thy courts, I will seek Thee At home in my chamber, by sickness confin'd ; And tho' the rude blasts of the winter bespeak Thee, Thy whispers within shall bring peace to my mind. Feb. 18, 1810. 31 THE BELIEVER'S SORROWS ALLEVIATED, BY THE REMEMBRANCE OF THEIR SHORT DURATION. " For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, workethfor vs afar more exceeding and eternal weight of glory ; while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. Be hush'd my voice! and let the rising sounds Of discontent, unutter'd die away ; What, tho' thy life with chequer'd scenes abounds, And dark and rugged be the pilgrim's way ! Why shouldst thou murmur ? 'Tis the lot of man To meet with cares peculiar to his sphere : Though great, they're compass'd by a narrow span, And, " if we're Christ's, zee only suffer here !" 'Tis mine to view the ev'ning sun go down, And rise again to see me still confin'd ; But this alas ! grieves not my heart alone, A Parent's suff'rings more affect my mind. Were but my breast of anxious care devoid On this account, methinks I then could bear My daily pains, — with this assurance buoy'd, " That we are Christ's, and only suffer here /" Feb. 23, 1810. 3-2 THANKSGIVING. " What shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits towards me ? I will take the cup of salvation, and call upon the name oj the Lord." O my soul's most valu'd treasure ! Spring of all its eliiefest joys ! How shall I express the pleasure That my grateful heart employs ? Thou hast prov'd a tender Father, 'Midst the scenes of grief and woe ; All my earthly joys Pd rather, Than Thy gracious smile forego. Thou hast all my Avants attended, Bow'd Thine ear to hear my moan ; Mercy with my sufferings blended, And the sufFrer call'd Thine own. Lord ! what shall I to Thee render Of the blessings Thou hast lent? All I have, to Thee I tender — All I am, I now present. I will take of Thee, salvation, And upon Thy fulness live ; Since 'tis Faith's divine vocation Not to give Thee, but — receive. Sept. 16, 1810. 33 THE RESOLUTION OF YOUTH, UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF DIVINE GRACE. " I love them that love me ; and those that seek me early shall find me." 11 The disposings of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, are from the Lord." In days of my youth I will seek my Creator, To bend my proud spirit to take up the Cross ; Though great are my trials, my joys will be greater, And Jesus will amply repay me my loss. Though dark be my way, and the climate unpleasant, My Guide is omniscient, almighty, and good; My journey is trying, and painful at present, But He will supply me with clothing and food. I Avalk amidst dangers, yet He will be near me ; Surrounded by snares, yet my foot shall be freed ; And when I'm in trouble my Father Mill hear me, And prove" a firm Friend in the time of my need. I'll say of the Lord, "Thou art God my defender, And under Thy shadow 1 still would abide ; The calves of my lips unto Thee I would render, And trust in the promise, The Lord will provide ." Nov. 17, 1310. i) 34 A FRAGMENT. Watch o'er my path — some ray of glory shed Upon this aching, this defenceless head ! Bend Thou my will, and make it yield to Thine ; Let all the Christian in my conduct shine: Meekness, forbearance, temperance, and love, Humility and patience join, to prove Thy steps I follow, and Thy name revere, In hope of glory glad to serve Thee here ! If still 'tis mine to drag a weary life, Outwardly pain'd, and feeling inward strife, Yet do Thou still, as Thou hast done before, On my tried mind Thy consolations pour : Shield Thou my head, when storms around me rage ; And when the clouds a tempest dire presage, Then, then lift up Thy banner, and repel Th' united force of flesh — of earth — and hell ! Dec. 18, 1810. 31 THE COURTS OF THE LORD PRIZED AND DESIRED IN THE CHAMBER OF AFFLICTION. Addressed by the Author to her Family. " How amiable are Thy Tabernacles, Lord of Hosts! My soul longeth, yea, even fainteth for the courts of the Lord : my heart and my flesh crieth out for the living God." Once I could meet you in your blest resorts, And enter with you to my Father's courts : Once I could join your cheerful song of praise, And hail the dawn of happier Sabbath days : But now — no more ! — You, privileg'd, still find An entrance there, whilst / am left behind. You hear those tidings which, ere now, could charm My cares away, and give a mental balm ; There you can swell the anthems of the skies, Whilst my weak breath, for song, expires in sighs ! O dreary Sabbaths in affliction's room, That bring no earnest of the rest to come ! Yet there are moments when my soul can soar, And feel envelop'd and confin'd no more : Forget its partner, in its rapid flight, And drink new pleasures at the fount of light : 36 That light, which, emanating from above, Fills its ennobled faculties with love ; Sublimes its feelings, and extends its views Beyond the scenes these lower worlds disclose. Oft have I felt, at such a time as this, Such joys, such foretastes of celestial bliss, I would not barter for Golconda's mines, For Cr