GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 Characters, Incidents, etc., in the First 
 Half -Century of the Republic 
 
 (A 
 
 BY 
 
 A NATIVE GEORGIAN 
 -B L*v\gStV 
 
 NEW EDITION 
 FROM NEW PLATES 
 
 WITH THE 
 ORIGINAL ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 NEW YORK 
 
 HARPER & BROTHERS PUBLISHERS 
 1897 
 
Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1840, by 
 
 HAKPKR & BROTH KKS, 
 In the Clerk s Office of the Southern District of New York. 
 
 All rights reitrved. 
 
 Add to Lib* 
 GIFT 
 
. 
 
 //817 
 
 PREFACE 
 
 TO THE FIRST EDITION 
 
 THE following sketches were written rather in 
 the hope that chance would bring them to light 
 when time would give them an interest than in 
 the belief that they would afford any interest to 
 the readers of the present day. I knew, how 
 ever, that the chance of their surviving the 
 author would be increased in proportion to their 
 popularity upon their first appearance ; and, 
 therefore, I used some little art in order to rec 
 ommend them to the readers of my ownv times. 
 They consist of nothing more than fanciful com 
 binations of real incidents and characters ; and 
 throwing into those scenes, which would be 
 otherwise dull and insipid, some personal inci 
 dent or adventure of my own, real or imaginary, 
 as it would best suit my purpose usually real, 
 but happening at different times and under dif 
 ferent circumstances from those in which they 
 are here represented. I have not always, how 
 ever, taken this liberty. Some of the scenes are 
 
 780 
 
PREFACE 
 
 as literally true as the frailties of memory would 
 allow them to be. I commenced the publication 
 of them, in one of the gazettes of the State, 
 rather more than a year ago ; and I was not more 
 pleased than astonished to find that they were 
 well received by readers generally. For the last 
 six months I have been importuned by persons 
 from all quarters of the State to give them to 
 the public in the present form. This volume 
 is purely a concession to their entreaties. From 
 private considerations, I was extremely desirous 
 of concealing the author, and, the more effect 
 ually to do so, I wrote under two signatures. 
 These have now become too closely interwoven 
 with the sketches to be separated from them, 
 without an expense of time and trouble which I 
 am unwilling to incur. Hall is the writer of those 
 sketches in which men appear as the principal 
 actors, and Baldwin of those in which women are 
 the prominent figures. For the " Militia Com 
 pany Drill" I am indebted to a friend, of whose 
 labors I would gladly have availed myself oftener. 
 The reader will find in the object of the sketches 
 an apology for the minuteness of detail into 
 which some of them run, and for the introduc 
 tion of some things into them which would have 
 been excluded were they merely the creations of 
 fancy. 
 
 I have not had it in my power to superintend 
 the publication of them, though they issue from 
 
PREFACE 
 
 a press in the immediate vicinity of my residence. 
 I discovered that if the work was delayed until 
 I could have an opportunity of examining the 
 proof-sheets, it would linger in the press until 
 the expenses (already large) would become in 
 tolerable. Consequently, there may be many 
 typographical errors among them, for which I 
 must crave the reader s indulgence. 
 
 I cannot conclude these introductory remarks 
 without reminding those who have taken excep 
 tions to the coarse, inelegant, and sometimes 
 ungrammatical language which the writer rep 
 resents himself as occasionally using, that it is 
 language accommodated to the capacity of the per 
 son to whom he represents himself as speaking. 
 
 THE AUTHOR. 
 
CONTENTS 
 
 PAGE 
 
 GEORGIA THEATRICS 1 
 
 THE DANCE 6 
 
 THE HORSE-SWAP -.22 
 
 THE CHARACTER OP A NATIVE GEORGIAN ... 34 
 
 THE FIGHT 65 
 
 THE SONG 82 
 
 THE TURNOUT 94 
 
 THE "CHARMING CREATURE" AS A WIFE. . . . 108 
 
 THE GANDER-PULLING 147 
 
 THE BALL 160 
 
 * THE MOTHER AND HER CHILD 175 
 
 THE DEBATING SOCIETY 180 
 
 THE MILITIA COMPANY DRILL 196 
 
 THE TURF 207 
 
 AN INTERESTING INTERVIEW 220 
 
 THE FOX-HUNT 228 
 
 V THE WAXWORKS 248 
 
 A SAGE CONVERSATION 259 
 
 THE SHOOTING -MATCH . . 274 
 
ILLITSTKATIONS 
 
 PAGE 
 
 HURRYING TO THE RACES Frontispiece 
 
 A LINCOLN REHEARSAL 4 
 
 BLOSSOM AND HIS HORSE BULLET 25 
 
 NED BRACE AT CHURCH 53 
 
 NED BRACE AND THE LITTLE MAN AT A FUNERAL . 55 
 
 RANSY SNIFFLE 68 
 
 MICHAEL ST. JOHN, THE SCHOOL-MASTER, EFFECTING 
 
 AN ENTRANCE BY STORM 103 
 
 "ANOTHER WOULD BUSS HER BECAUSE SHE WAS 
 
 GEORGE S WIFE" 134 
 
 MILITIA DRILL 199 
 
 HARDY SLOW AND TOBIAS SWIFT 222 
 
 THE FOX-HUNT 241 
 
 THE WAXWORKS . . 255 
 
GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 GEORGIA THEATRICS 
 
 IF my memory fail me not, the 10th of June, 
 1809, found me, at about eleven o clock in the 
 forenoon, ascending a long and gentle slope in 
 what was called " The Dark Corner" of Lincoln. 
 I believe it took its name from the moral darkness 
 which reigned over that portion of the county 
 at the time of which I am speaking. If in this 
 point of view it was but a shade darker than the 
 rest of the county, it was inconceivably dark. 
 If any man can name a trick or sin which had 
 not been committed at the time of which I am 
 speaking, in the very focus of all the county s 
 illumination (Lincolnton), he must himself be 
 the most inventive of the tricky and the very 
 Judas of sinners. Since that time, however (all 
 humor aside), Lincoln has become a living proof 
 " that light shineth in darkness." Could I vent 
 ure to mingle the solemn with the ludicrous, 
 even for the purposes of honorable contrast, I 
 could adduce from this county instances of the 
 most numerous and wonderful transitions from 
 
GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 vice and folly to virtue and holiness which 
 have i eyer, perhaps,, beer, witnessed since the days 
 of the apostolic miimti y. So much, lest it 
 should; be .thought -by-some -that what I am about 
 to relate is bharacter.isti a oi . the county in which 
 it occurred. 
 
 Whatever may be said of the moral condition 
 of the Dark Corner at the time just mentioned, 
 its natural condition was anything but dark. It 
 smiled in all the charms of spring ; and spring 
 borrowed a new charm from its undulating 
 grounds, its luxuriant woodlands, its sportive 
 streams, its vocal birds, and its blushing flowers. 
 
 Rapt with the enchantment of the season and 
 the scenery around me, I was slowly rising the 
 slope, when I was startled by loud, profane, and 
 boisterous voices, which seemed to proceed from 
 a thick covert of undergrowth about two hundred 
 yards in the advance of me and about one hun 
 dred to the right of my road. 
 
 " You kin, kin you ?" 
 
 " Yes, I kin, and am able to do it ! Boo-oo-oo ! 
 Oh, wake snakes, and walk your chalks ! Brim 
 stone and fire ! Don t hold me, Nick Sto- 
 
 val ! The fight s made up, and let s go at it. 
 
 my soul if I don t jump down his throat, 
 
 and gallop every chitterling out of him before 
 you can say l quit \" 
 
 "Now, Nick, don t hold him! Jist let the 
 wild-cat come, and I ll tame him. Ned 11 see me 
 a fair fight ! Won t you, Ned ?" 
 
 "Oh yes; I ll see you a fair fight, blast my 
 old shoes if I don t !" 
 
GEORGIA THEATRICS 
 
 "That s sufficient, as Tom Haynes said when 
 he saw the elephant. Now let him come I" 
 
 Thus they went on, with countless oaths in 
 terspersed, which I dare not even hint at, and 
 with much that I could not distinctly hear. 
 
 In mercy s name ! thought I, what band of 
 ruffians has selected this holy season and this 
 heavenly retreat for such pandemoniac riots ! 
 I quickened my gait, and had come nearly op 
 posite to the thick grove whence the noise pro 
 ceeded, when my eye caught, indistinctly and at 
 intervals, through the foliage of the dwarf-oaks 
 and hickories which intervened, glimpses of a 
 man, or men, who seemed to be in a violent 
 struggle ; and I could occasionally catch those 
 deep-drawn, emphatic oaths which men in con 
 flict utter when they deal blows. I dismounted, 
 and hurried to the spot with all speed. I had 
 overcome about half the space which separated 
 it from me, when I saw the combatants come to 
 the ground, and, after a short struggle, I saw 
 the uppermost one (for I could not see the other) 
 make a heavy plunge with both his thumbs, and 
 at the same instant I heard a cry in the accent 
 of keenest torture, " Enough ! My eye s out \" 
 
 I was so completely horror-struck that I stood 
 transfixed for a moment to the spot where the 
 cry met me. The accomplices in the hellish 
 deed which had been perpetrated had all fled at 
 my approach at least, I supposed so, for they 
 were not to be seen. 
 
 "Now, blast your corn -shucking soul !" said 
 the victor (a youth about eighteen years old) as 
 
4 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 he rose from the ground "come cutt n your 
 shines bout me agin, next time I come to the 
 court-house, will you ? Get your owl eye in agin 
 if you can I" 
 
 At this moment he saw me for the first time. 
 He looked excessively embarrassed, and was 
 moving oft , when I called to him, in a tone em- 
 
 A LINCOLN REHEARSAL 
 
 boldened by the sacredness of my office and the 
 iniquity of his crime, "Come back, you brute, 
 and assist me in relieving your fellow - mortal, 
 whom you have ruined forever I" 
 
 My rudeness subdued his embarrassment in an 
 instant ; and, with a taunting curl of the nose, 
 he replied, "You needn t kick before you re 
 spurr d. There a n t nobody there, nor haVt 
 been nother. I was jist seem how I could V 
 fout." So saying, he bounded to his plough, 
 
GEOKGIA THEATRICS 5 
 
 which stood in the corner of the fence about 
 fifty yards beyond the battle-ground. 
 
 And, would you believe it, gentle reader ? his 
 report was true. All that I had heard and seen 
 was nothing more nor less than a Lincoln re 
 hearsal, in which the youth who had just left 
 me had played all the parts of all the characters 
 in a court-house fight. 
 
 I went to the ground from which he had risen, 
 and there were the prints of his two thumbs, 
 plunged up to the balls in the mellow earth, 
 about the distance of a man s eyes apart ; and 
 the ground around was broken up as if two stags 
 had been engaged upon it. 
 
 HALL. 
 
THE DANCE 
 A PERSONAL ADVENTURE OF THE AUTHOR 
 
 SOME years ago I was called by business to one 
 of the frontier counties, then but recently set 
 tled. It became necessary for me, while there, 
 to enlist the services of Thomas Gibson, Esq., 
 one of the magistrates of the county, who re 
 sided about a mile and a half from my lodgings ; 
 and to this circumstance was I indebted for my 
 introduction to him. I had made the intended 
 disposition of my business, and was on the eve 
 of my departure for the city of my residence, 
 when I was induced to remain a day longer by an 
 invitation from the squire to attend a dance at 
 his house on the following day. Having learned 
 from my landlord that I would probably "be ex 
 pected at the frolic " about the hour of ten in 
 the forenoon, and, being desirous of seeing all 
 that passed upon the occasion, I went over about 
 an hour before the time. 
 
 The squire s dwelling consisted of but one 
 room, which answered the threefold purpose of 
 dining-room, bedroom, and kitchen. The house 
 was constructed of logs, and the floor was of 
 puncheons a term which, in Georgia, means 
 
THE DANCE 7 
 
 split logs, with their faces a little smoothed 
 with the axe or hatchet. To gratify his daugh 
 ters, Polly and Silvy, the old gentleman and his 
 lady had consented to camp out for a day, and to 
 surrender the habitation to the girls and their 
 young friends. 
 
 When I reached there I found all things in 
 readiness for the promised amusement. The 
 girls, as the old gentleman informed me, had 
 compelled the family to breakfast under the 
 trees, for they had completely stripped the 
 house of its furniture before the sun rose. 
 They were already attired for the dance, in neat 
 but plain habiliments of their own manufacture. 
 " What !" says some weakly, sickly, delicate, use 
 less, affected, "charming creature" of the city 
 " dressed for a ball at nine in the morning !" 
 " Even so, my delectable Miss Octavia Matilda 
 Juliana Claudia Ipecacuanha ; and what have 
 you to say against it ? If people must dance, is 
 it riot much more rational to employ the hour 
 allotted to exercise in that amusement than the 
 hours sacred to repose and meditation ? And 
 which is entitled to the most credit the young 
 lady who rises with the dawn, and puts herself 
 and whole house in order for a ball four hours 
 before it begins, or the one who requires a fort 
 night to get herself dressed for it ? 
 
 The squire and I employed the interval in 
 conversation about the first settlement of the 
 country, in the course of which I picked up 
 some useful and much interesting information. 
 We were at length interrupted, however, by the 
 
GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 sound of a violin, which proceeded from a thick 
 wood at my left. The performer soon after 
 made his appearance, and proved to be no other 
 than Billy Porter, a negro fellow of much harm 
 less wit and humor, who was well known 
 throughout the State. Poor Billy! "his harp 
 is now hung upon the willow"; and I would 
 not blush to offer a tear to his memory, for his 
 name is associated with some of the happiest 
 scenes of my life, and he sleeps with many a 
 dear friend who used to join me in provoking 
 his wit and in laughing at his eccentricities; 
 but I am leading my reader to the grave instead 
 of the dance, which I promised. If, however, 
 his memory reaches twelve years back he will 
 excuse this short tribute of respect to Billy Por 
 ter. 
 
 Billy, to give his own account of himself, 
 " had been taking a turn with the brethren 
 [the Bar] ; and, hearing the ladies wanted to see 
 pretty Billy, had come to give them a benefit/ 
 The squire had not seen him before ; and it is 
 no disrespect to his understanding or politeness 
 to say that he found it impossible to give me 
 his attention for half an hour after Billy arrived. 
 I had nothing to do, therefore, while the young 
 people were assembling, but to improve my 
 knowledge of Billy s character, to the squire s 
 amusement. I had been thus engaged about 
 thirty minutes, when I saw several fine, bounc 
 ing, ruddy-cheeked girls descending a hill about 
 the eighth of a mile off. They, too, were attired 
 in manufactures of their own hands. The refine- 
 
THE DANCE 9 
 
 ments of the present day in female dress had 
 not even reached our republican cities at this 
 time ; and, of course,, the country girls were 
 wholly ignorant of them. They carried no more 
 cloth upon their arms or straw upon their heads 
 than was necessary to cover them. They used 
 no artificial means of spreading their frock-tails 
 to an interesting extent from their ankles. They 
 had no boards laced to their breasts, nor any 
 corsets laced to their sides ; consequently, they 
 looked, for all the world, like human beings, " 
 and could be distinctly recognized as such at the 
 distance of two hundred paces. Their move 
 ments were as free and active as nature would 
 permit them to be. Let me not be understood 
 as interposing the least objection to any lady in 
 this land of liberty dressing just as she pleases. 
 If she choose to lay her neck and shoulders bare, 
 what right have I to look at them, much less 
 to find fault with them ? If she choose to put 
 three yards of muslin in a irock sleeve, what 
 right have I to ask why a little strip of it was 
 not put in the body ? If she like the pattern of 
 a hoisted umbrella for a frock, and the shape of 
 a cheese-cask for her body, what is all that to 
 me ? But to return. 
 
 The girls were met by Polly and Silvy Gibson 
 at some distance from the house, who welcomed 
 them "with a kiss, of course?" Oh no; but 
 with something much less equivocal a hearty 
 shake of the hand and smiling countenances, 
 which had some meaning. 
 
 [Note. The custom of kissing, as practised 
 
10 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 in these clays by the amiaUes, is borrowed from 
 the French, and by them from Judas.] 
 
 The young ladies had generally collected before 
 any of the young men appeared. It was not 
 long, however, before a large number of both 
 sexes were assembled, and they adjourned to the 
 ballroom. 
 
 But for the snapping of a fiddle - string, the 
 young people would have been engaged in the 
 amusement of the day in less than three minutes 
 from the time they entered the house. Here 
 were no formal introductions to be given, no 
 drawing for places or partners, no parade of 
 managers, no ceremonies. It was perfectly un 
 derstood that all were invited to dance, and that 
 none were invited who were unworthy to be 
 danced with ; consequently, no gentleman hesi 
 tated to ask any lady present to dance with him, 
 and no lady refused to dance with a gentleman 
 merely because she had not been ma.de acquaint 
 ed with him. 
 
 In a short time the string was repaired, and 
 off went the party to a good old republican six 
 reel. I had been thrown among fashionables 
 se long that I had almost forgotten my native 
 dance. But it revived rapidly as they wheeled 
 through its mazes, and with it returned many 
 long-forgotten, pleasing recollections. Not only 
 did the reel return to me, but the very persons 
 who used to figure in it with me, in the hey 
 day of youth. 
 
 Here was my old sweetheart, Polly Jackson, 
 identically personified in Polly Gibson ; and here 
 
THE DANCE 11 
 
 was Jim Johnson s in Silvy, and Bill Martin s 
 in Nancy Ware. Polly Gibson had my old 
 name s very steps as well as her looks. " Ah/ 
 said I, " squire, this puts me in mind of old 
 times. I have not seen a six reel for five-and- 
 twenty years. It recalls to my mind many a 
 happy hour, and many a jovial friend who used 
 to enliven it with me. Your Polly looks so 
 much like my old sweetheart, Polly Jackson, 
 that, were I young again, I certainly should fall 
 in love with her." 
 
 "That was the name of her mother," said the 
 squire. 
 
 "Where did you marry her ?" inquired I. 
 
 " In Wilkes," said he ; " she was the daughter 
 of old Nathan Jackson, of that county." 
 
 "It isn t possible !" returned I. " Then it is the 
 very girl of whom I am speaking. Where is she?" 
 
 "She s out," said the squire, "preparing din 
 ner for the young people ; but she ll be in tow 
 ards the close of the day. But come along, and 
 I ll make you acquainted with her at once if 
 you ll promise not to run away with her ; for I 
 tell you what it is, she s the likeliest gal in all 
 these parts yet." 
 
 " Well," said I, " I ll promise not to run away 
 with her, but you must not let her know who I 
 am. I wish to make myself known to her ; and, 
 for fear of the worst, you shall witness the intro 
 duction. But don t get jealous, squire, if she 
 seems a little too glad to see me ; for, I assure 
 you, we had a strong notion of each other when 
 we were young." 
 
12 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 " No danger," replied the squire ; " she hadn t 
 seen me then, or she never could have loved such 
 a hard-favored man as you are." 
 
 In the meantime the dance went on, and I 
 employed myself in selecting from the party the 
 best examples of the dancers of my day and Mrs. 
 Gibson s, for her entertainment. In this I had 
 not the least difficulty ; for the dancers before 
 me and those of my day were in all respects 
 identical. 
 
 Jim Johnson kept up the double-shuffle from 
 the beginning to the end of the reel ; and here 
 was Jim over again in Sammy Tant. Bill Mar 
 tin always set to his partner with the same step ; 
 and a very curious step it was. He brought his 
 right foot close behind his left, and with it per 
 formed precisely the motion of the thumb in 
 cracking that insect which Burns has immortal 
 ized ; then moved his right back, threw his 
 weight upon it, brought his left behind it, and 
 cracked with that as before ; and so on alternate 
 ly. Just so did Bill Kemp, to a nail. Bob 
 Simons danced for all the world like a " Supple 
 Jack " (or, as we commonly call it, a " Supple 
 Saivney ") when the string is pulled with varied 
 force at intervals of seconds ; and so did Jake 
 Slack. Davy Moore went like a suit of clothes 
 upon a clothing-line on a windy day ; and here 
 was his antitype in Ned Clark. Rhoda Nobles 
 swam through the reel like a cork on wavy 
 waters, always giving two or three pretty little 
 perch - bite diddles as she rose from a coupee. 
 Nancy Ware was her very self. Becky Lewis 
 
THE DANCE 13 
 
 made a business of dancing she disposed of her 
 part as quick as possible, stopped dead short as 
 soon as she got through, and looked as sober as 
 a judge all the time ; even so did Chloe Dawson. 
 I used to tell Polly Jackson that Becky s coun 
 tenance, when she closed a dance, always seemed 
 to say, "Now, if you want any more dancing, 
 you may do it yourself I" 
 
 The dance grew merrier as it progressed ; the 
 young people became more easy in each other s 
 company, and often enlivened the scene with 
 most humorous remarks. Occasionally some 
 sharp cuts passed between the boys, such as 
 would have produced half a dozen duels at a 
 city ball ; but here they were taken as they were 
 meant, in good humor. Jim Johnson being a 
 little tardy in meeting his partner at a turn of 
 the reel, "I ax pardon, Miss Chloe/" said he; 
 "Jake Slack went to make a cross-hop just 
 now, and tied his legs in a hard knot, and I 
 stopped to help him untie them !" A little af 
 ter Jake hung his toe in a crack of the floor and 
 nearly fell. "Ding my buttons," said he, "if I 
 didn t know I should stumble over Jim Johnson s 
 foot at last ! Jim, draw your foot up to your own 
 end of the reel!" (Jim was at the other end of 
 the reel, and had, in truth, a prodigious foot.) 
 
 Towards the middle of the day many of the 
 neighboring farmers dropped in, and joined the 
 squire and myself in talking of old times. At 
 length dinner was announced. It consisted of 
 plain fare, but there was a profusion of it. Rough 
 planks, supported by stakes driven in the ground, 
 
14 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 served for a table, at which the old and young 
 of both sexes seated themselves at the same 
 time. I soon recognized Mrs. Gibson from all 
 the matrons present. Thirty years had wrought 
 great changes in her appearance, but they had 
 left some of her features entirely unimpaired. 
 Her eye beamed with all its youthful fire ; and, 
 to my astonishment, her mouth was still beautified 
 with a full set of teeth, unblemished by time. 
 The rose on her cheek had rather freshened than 
 faded, and her smile was the very same that first 
 subdued my heart ; but her fine form was wholly 
 lost, and, with it, all the grace of her movements. 
 Pleasing but melancholy reflections occupied my 
 mind as I gazed on her dispensing her cheerful 
 hospitalities. I thought of the sad history of 
 many of her companions and mine, who used to 
 carry light hearts through the merry dance. I 
 compared my after-life with the cloudless days 
 of my attachment to Polly. Then I was light- 
 hearted, gay, contented, and happy. I aspired 
 to nothing but a good name, a good wife, and an 
 easy competence. The first and last were mine 
 already ; and Polly had given me too many little 
 tokens of her favor to leave a doubt now that 
 the second was at my command. But I was 
 foolishly told that my talents were of too high 
 an order to be employed in the drudgeries of a 
 farm, and I more foolishly believed it. I for 
 sook the pleasures which I had tried and proved, 
 and went in pursuit of those imaginary joys 
 which seemed to encircle the seat of Fame. 
 From that moment to the present my life had 
 
THE DANCE 15 
 
 been little else than one unbroken scene of dis 
 aster, disappointment,, vexation, and toil. And 
 now, when I was too old to enjoy the pleasures 
 which I had discarded, I found that my aim 
 was absolutely hopeless ; and that my pursuits 
 had only served to unfit me for the humbler 
 walks of life, and to exclude me from the higher. 
 The gloom of these reflections was, however, 
 lightened in a measure by the promises of the 
 coming hour, when I was to live over again with 
 Mrs. Gibson some of the happiest moments of 
 my life. 
 
 After a hasty repast the young people returned 
 to their amusement, followed by myself, with 
 several of the elders of the company. An hour 
 had scarcely elapsed before Mrs. Gibson entered, 
 accompanied by a goodly number of matrons of 
 her own age. This accession to the company 
 produced its usual effects. It raised the tone of 
 conversation a full octave, and gave it a triple- 
 time movement ; added new life to the wit and 
 limbs of the young folks, and set the old men to 
 cracking jokes. 
 
 At length the time arrived for me to surprise 
 and delight Mrs. Gibson. The young folks in 
 sisted upon the old folks taking a reel, and this 
 was just what I had been waiting for ; for, after 
 many plans for making the discovery, I had 
 finally concluded upon that which I thought 
 would make her joy general among the com 
 pany; and that was, to announce myself, just 
 before leading her to the dance, in a voice audi 
 ble to most of the assembly. I therefore readily 
 
16 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 assented to the proposition of the young folks, 
 as did two others of my age., and we made to the 
 ladies for our partners I, of course, offered my 
 hand to Mrs. Gibson. 
 
 " Come/ said I, " Mrs. Gibson, let us see if 
 we can t outdance these young people." 
 
 " Dear me, sir," said she, " I haven t danced 
 a step these twenty years." 
 
 " Neither have I ; but I ve resolved to try 
 once more, if you will join me, just for old 
 times sake." 
 
 " I really cannot think of dancing," said she. 
 
 (( Well," continued I (raising my voice to a 
 pretty high pitch, on purpose to be heard, while 
 my countenance kindled with exultation at the 
 astonishment and delight which I was about to 
 produce), " you surely will dance with an old 
 friend and sweetheart, who used to dance with 
 you when a girl !" 
 
 A t this disclosure her features assumed a vast 
 variety of expressions ; but none of them re 
 sponded precisely to my expectation ; indeed, 
 some of them were of such an equivocal and 
 alarming character that I deemed it advisable 
 not to prolong her suspense. I therefore pro 
 ceeded : 
 
 " Have you forgot your old sweetheart, Abram 
 Baldwin ?" 
 
 "What!" said she, looking more astonished 
 and confused than ever. " Abram Baldwin ! 
 Abram Baldwin ! I don t think I ever heard the 
 name before." 
 
 "Do you remember Jim Johnson ?" said I. 
 
THE DANCE 17 
 
 " Oh yes/ said she, " mighty well/ her coun 
 tenance brightening with a smile. 
 
 " And Bill Martin ?" 
 
 Yes, perfectly well. Why w7io are you ?" 
 
 Here we were interrupted by one of the gen 
 tlemen, who had led his partner to the floor, 
 with " Come, stranger, we re getting mighty 
 tired o standing. It Avon t do for old people 
 that s going to dance to take up much time in 
 standing ; they ll lose all their spryness. Don t 
 stand begging Polly Gibson, she never dances; 
 but take my Sal there, next to her ; she ll run 
 a reel with you to old Nick s house and back 
 agin." 
 
 No alternative was left me, and therefore I 
 offered my hand to Mrs. Sally I didn t know 
 who. 
 
 "Well," thought I, as I moved to my place, 
 " the squire is pretty secure from jealousy ; but 
 Polly will soon remember me when she sees my 
 steps in the reel. I will dance precisely as I 
 used to in my youth, if it tire me to death. " . 
 There was one step that was almost exclusively 
 my own, for few of the dancers of my day could 
 perform it at all, and none with the grace and 
 ease that I did. " She ll remember Abram Bald 
 win," thought I, " as soon as she sees the double, 
 cross-liop." It was performed by rising and cross 
 ing the legs twice or thrice before alighting, and 
 I used to carry it to the third cross with consid 
 erable ease. It was a step solely adapted to set 
 ting or balancing, as all will perceive ; but I 
 thought the occasion would justify a little per- 
 
18 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 version of it, and therefore resolved to lead off 
 with it, that Polly might be at once relieved 
 from suspense. Just, however, as I reached my 
 place, Mrs. Gibson s youngest son, a boy about 
 eight years old, ran in and cried out, " Mammy, 
 old Boler s jumped upon the planks, and dragged 
 off a great hunk o meat as big as your head, and 
 broke a dish and two plates all to darn smashes !" 
 Away went Mrs. Gibson, and off went the music. 
 Still I hoped that matters would be adjusted in 
 time for Polly to return and see the double cross- 
 hop ; and I felt the mortification which my de 
 lay in getting a partner had occasioned some 
 what solaced by the reflection that it had thrown 
 me at the foot of the reel. 
 
 The first and second couples had nearly com 
 pleted their performances, and Polly had not 
 returned. I began to grow uneasy, and to in 
 terpose as many delays as I could without attract 
 ing notice. 
 
 The six reel is closed by the foot couple 
 balancing at the head of the set, then in the 
 middle, then at the foot, again in the middle, 
 meeting at the head, and leading down. 
 
 My partner and I had commenced balancing 
 at the head, and Polly had not returned. I 
 balanced until my partner forced me on. I now 
 deemed it advisable to give myself up wholly to 
 the double cross -hop; so that if Polly should 
 return in time to see any step it should be this, 
 though I was already nearly exhausted. Ac 
 cordingly, I made the attempt to introduce it in 
 the turns of the reel; but the first experiment 
 
THE DANCE 19 
 
 \ 
 
 convinced me of three things at once first, 
 that I could not have used the step in this way in 
 my best days ; second, that my strength would 
 not more than support it in its proper place for 
 the remainder of the reel ; and, third, if I tried 
 it again in this way I should knock my brains 
 out against the puncheons ; for my partner, who 
 seemed determined to confirm her husband s re 
 port of her, evinced 110 disposition to wait upon 
 experiments, but, fetching me a jerk while I 
 was up and my legs crossed, had wellnigh sent 
 me head foremost to Old Nick s house, sure 
 enough. 
 
 We met in the middle, my back to the door, 
 and from the silence that prevailed in the yard 
 I flattered myself that Polly might be even now 
 catching the first glimpse of the favorite step, 
 when I heard her voice at some distance from 
 the house : " Get you gone ! G-e-e-e-t you gone ! 
 G-e-e-e-e-e-t you gone I" Matters outdoors 
 were now clearly explained. There had been a 
 struggle to get the meat from Boler ; Boler had 
 triumphed, and retreated to the woods with his 
 booty, and Mrs. Gibson was heaping indignities 
 upon him in the last resort. 
 
 The three " Get-you-gones" met me precise 
 ly at the three closing balances ; and the last 
 brought my moral energies to a perfect level 
 with my physical. 
 
 Mrs. Gibson returned, however, a few min 
 utes after, in a good humor; for she possessed 
 a lovely disposition, which even marriage could 
 not spoil. As soon as I could collect breath 
 
20 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 enough for regular conversation (for, to speak 
 in my native dialect, I was "mortal tired"), I 
 took a seat by her, resolved not to quit the house 
 without making myself known to her, if pos 
 sible. 
 
 "How much/ said I, " your Polly looks and 
 dances like you used to at her age !" 
 
 (t I ve told my old man so a hundred times/ 
 said she. " Why, who upon earth are you ?" 
 
 "Did you ever see two persons dance more 
 alike than Jim Johnson and Sammy Tant ?" 
 
 "Never. Why, who can you be?" 
 
 "You remember Becky Lewis ?" 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 "Well, look at Chloe Dawson, and you ll see 
 her over again." 
 
 "Well, law me! Now I know I must have 
 seen you somewhere ; but, to save my life, 
 I can t tell where ! Where did your father 
 live ?" 
 
 "He died when I was small." 
 
 " And where did you use to see me ?" 
 
 " At your father s, and old Mr. Dawson s, and 
 at Mrs. Barnes s, and at Squire Noble s, and 
 many other places." 
 
 " Well, goodness me ! it s mighty strange I 
 can t call you to mind !" 
 
 I now began to get petulant, and thought it 
 best to leave her. 
 
 The dance wound up with the old merry jig, 
 and the company dispersed. 
 
 The next day I set out for my residence. I 
 had been at home rather more than two months 
 
THE DANCE 21 
 
 when I received the following letter from Squire 
 Gibson : 
 
 "DEAR SIR, I send you the money collected on the 
 notes you left with me. Since you left here, Polly has 
 heen thinking about old times, and she says, to save her 
 life, she can t recollect you." 
 
 BALDWIN. 
 
THE HORSE-SWAP 
 
 DURING the session of the Supreme Court in 
 the village of - , about three weeks ago, when 
 a number of people were collected in the princi 
 pal street of the village,, I observed a young man 
 riding up and down the street, as I supposed, in 
 a violent passion. He galloped this way, then 
 that, and then the other ; spurred his horse to 
 one group of citizens, then to another ; then 
 dashed off at half- speed, as if fleeing from dan 
 ger ; and, suddenly checking his horse, returned 
 first in a pace, then in a trot, and then in a can 
 ter. While he was performing these various 
 evolutions he cursed, swore, whooped, screamed, 
 and tossed himself in every attitude which man 
 could assume on horseback. In short, he cavort 
 ed most magnanimously (a term which, in our 
 tongue, expresses all that I have described, and 
 a little more), and seemed to be setting all crea 
 tion at defiance. As I like to see all that is 
 passing, I determined to take a position a little 
 nearer to him, and to ascertain, if possible, what 
 it was that affected him so sensibly. According 
 ly I approached a crowd before which he had 
 stopped for a moment, and examined it with the 
 strictest scrutiny. But I could see nothing in it 
 
THE HORSE-SWAP 
 
 that seemed to have anything to do with the ca- 
 vorter. Every man appeared to be in good hu 
 mor, and all minding their own business. Not 
 one so much as noticed the principal figure. 
 Still he went on. After a semicolon pause, 
 which my appearance seemed to produce (for he 
 eyed me closely as I approached), he fetched a 
 whoop, and swore that "he could out-swap any 
 live man, woman, or child that ever walked these 
 hills, or that ever straddled horseflesh since the 
 days of old daddy Adam. Stranger," said he to 
 me, "did you ever see the Yallow Blossom from 
 Jasper ?" 
 
 "No," said I, "but I have often heard of 
 him." 
 
 "Fm the boy," continued he ; "perhaps a lee- 
 tie, jist a leetle, of the best man at a horse-swap 
 that ever trod shoe-leather." 
 
 I began to feel my situation a little awkward, 
 when I was relieved by a man somewhat ad 
 vanced in years, who stepped up and began to 
 survey the Yellow Blossom s horse with much 
 apparent interest. This drew the rider s atten 
 tion, and he turned the conversation from me to 
 the stranger. 
 
 "Well, my old coon," said he, "do you want 
 to swap hosses 9" 
 
 " Why, I don t know," replied the stranger ; 
 "I believe I ve got a beast I d trade with you 
 for that one, if you like him." 
 
 "Well, fetch up your nag, my old cock; 
 you re jist the lark I wanted to get hold of. I 
 am perhaps a leetle, jist a leetle, of the best man 
 
24 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 at a horse-swap that ever stole craMins out of 
 his mammy s fat gourd. Where s your hossf 
 
 "I ll bring him presently; but I want to ex 
 amine your horse a little." 
 
 "Oh, look at him/ said the Blossom, alight 
 ing and hitting him a cut "look at him ! He s 
 the best piece of Aossflesh in the thirteen united 
 univarsal worlds. There s no sort o mistake in 
 little Bullet. He can pick up miles on his feet, 
 and fling em behind him as fast as the next 
 man s Jioss, I don t care where he comes from. 
 And he can keep at it as long as the sun can 
 shine without resting." 
 
 During this harangue little Bullet looked as 
 if he understood it all, believed it, and was 
 ready at any moment to verify it. He was a 
 horse of goodly countenance, rather expressive 
 of vigilance than fire ; though an unnatural ap 
 pearance of fierceness was thrown into it by the 
 loss of his ears, which had been cropped pretty 
 close to his head. Nature had done but little 
 for Bullet s head and neck ; but he managed, in 
 a great measure, to hide their defects by bowing 
 perpetually. He had obviously suffered severe 
 ly for corn ; but if his ribs and hip-bones had 
 not disclosed the fact, lie never would have done 
 it ; for he was in all respects as cheerful and 
 happy as if he commanded all the corn-cribs and 
 fodder-stacks in Georgia. His height was about 
 twelve hands ; but as his shape partook some 
 what of that of the giraffe, his haunches stood 
 much lower. They were short, strait, peaked, 
 and concave. Bullet s tail, however, made 
 
THE HORSE-SWAP 
 
 25 
 
 amends for all his defects. All that the artist 
 could do to beautify it had been done ; and all 
 that horse could do to compliment the artist, 
 Bullet did. His tail was nicked in superior 
 style, and exhibited the line of beauty in so 
 many directions that it could not fail to hit the 
 most fastidious taste in some of them. From 
 
 BLOSSOM AND HIS HORSE BULLET 
 
 the root it dropped into a graceful festoon, 
 then rose in a handsome curve, then resumed 
 its first direction, and then mounted suddenly 
 upward like a cypress knee to a perpendicular 
 of about two and a half inches. The whole had 
 a careless and bewitching inclination to the 
 
26 GEORGIA. SCENES 
 
 right. Bullet obviously knew where his beauty 
 lay, and took all occasions to display it to the 
 best advantage. If a stick cracked, or if any 
 one moved suddenly about him, or coughed, or 
 hawked, or spoke a little louder than common, 
 up went Bullet s tail like lightning ; and if the 
 going up did not please, the coming down must 
 of necessity, for it was as different from the 
 other movement as was its direction. The first 
 was a bold and rapid flight upward, usually to 
 an angle of forty-five degrees. In this position 
 he kept his interesting appendage until he satis 
 fied himself that nothing in particular was to be 
 done ; when he commenced dropping it by half 
 inches, in second beats, then in triple time, then 
 faster and shorter, and faster and shorter still, 
 until it finally died away imperceptibly into its 
 natural position. If I might compare sights to 
 sounds, I should say its settling was more like 
 the note of a locust than anything else in nature. 
 
 Either from native sprightliness of disposition, 
 from uncontrollable activity, or from an uncon 
 querable habit of removing flies by the stamping 
 of the feet, Bullet never stood still, but always 
 kept up a gentle fly-scaring movement of his 
 limbs, which was peculiarly interesting. 
 
 "I tell you, man," proceeded the Yellow Blos 
 som, "he s the best live hoss that ever trod the 
 grit of Georgia. Bob Smart knows the hoss. 
 Gome here, Bob, and mount this hoss, and show 
 Bullet s motions." Here Bullet bristled up, and 
 looked as if he had been hunting for Bob all day 
 long, and had just found him. Bob sprang on his 
 
THE HOUSE SWAP 27 
 
 back. " Boo-oo-oo !" said Bob, with a fluttering 
 noise of the lips, and away went Bullet as if in 
 a quarter race, with all his beauties spread in 
 handsome style. 
 
 "Now fetch him back/ said Blossom. Bul 
 let turned and came in pretty much as he went 
 out. 
 
 "Now trot him by." Bullet reduced his tail 
 to customary, sidled to the right and left air 
 ily, and exhibited at least three varieties of trot 
 in the short space of fifty yards. 
 
 "Make him pace I" Bob commenced twitch 
 ing the bridle and kicking at the same time. 
 These inconsistent movements obviously (and 
 most naturally) disconcerted Bullet ; for it was 
 impossible for him to learn from them whether 
 he was to proceed or stand still. He started to 
 trot, and was told that wouldn t do. He at 
 tempted a canter, and was checked again. He 
 stopped, and was urged to go on. Bullet now 
 rushed into the wide field of experiment, and 
 struck out a gait of his own that completely 
 turned the tables upon his rider, and certainly 
 deserved a patent. It seemed to have derived 
 its elements from the jig, the minuet, and the co 
 tillon. If it was not a pace, it certainly had pace 
 in it, and no man would venture to call it any 
 thing else ; so it passed off to the satisfaction of 
 the owner. 
 
 " Walk him !" Bullet was now at home again, 
 and he walked as if money were staked on him. 
 
 The stranger, whose name I afterwards learned 
 was Peter Ketch, having examined Bullet to his 
 
28 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 heart s content, ordered his son Neddy to go and 
 bring up Kit. Neddy soon appeared upon Kit, 
 a well-formed sorrel of the middle size, and in 
 good order. His tout-ensemble threw Bullet en 
 tirely in the shade, though a glance was sufficient 
 to satisfy any one that Bullet had the decided 
 advantage of him in point of intellect. 
 
 "Why, man," said Blossom, "do you bring 
 such a hoss as that to trade for Bullet ? Oh, I 
 see, you ve no notion of trading !" 
 
 " Ride him off, Neddy !" said Peter. Kit put 
 off at a handsome lope. 
 
 " Trot him back !" Kit came in at a long, 
 sweeping trot, and stopped suddenly at the 
 crowd. 
 
 "Well," said Blossom, "let me look at him; 
 maybe he ll do to plough." 
 
 "Examine him," said Peter, taking hold of 
 the bridle close to the mouth ; " he s nothing but 
 a tacky. He ain t as pretty a horse as Bullet, I 
 know, but he ll do. Start em together for a 
 hundred and fifty mile, and if Kit ain t twenty 
 mile ahead of him at the coming out, any man 
 may take Kit for nothing. But he s a monstrous 
 mean horse, gentlemen ; any man may see that. 
 He s the scariest horse, too, you ever saw. He 
 won t do to hunt on, nohow. Stranger, will you 
 let Neddy have your rifle to shoot off him ? Lay 
 the rifle between his ears, Neddy, and shoot at 
 the blaze in that stump. Tell me when his head 
 is high enough." 
 
 Ned fired and hit the blaze, and Kit did not 
 move a hair s-breadth. 
 
THE HORSE- SWAP 29 
 
 " Neddy, take a couple of sticks, and beat on 
 that hogshead at Kit s tail." 
 
 Ned made a tremendous rattling, at which 
 Bullet took fright, broke his bridle, and dashed 
 off in grand style, and would have stopped all 
 further negotiations by going home in disgust, 
 had not a traveller arrested him and brought him 
 back ; but Kit did not move. 
 
 "I tell you, gentlemen," continued Peter, 
 "he s the scariest horse you ever saw. He ain t 
 as gentle as Bullet, but he won t do any harm if 
 you watch him. Shall I put him in a cart, gig, 
 or wagon for you, stranger ? He ll cut the same 
 capers there he does here. He s a monstrous 
 mean horse." 
 
 During all this time Blossom was examining 
 him with the nicest scrutiny. Having examined 
 his frame and limbs, he now looked at his eyes. 
 
 " He s got a curious look out of his eyes," said 
 Blossom. 
 
 "Oh yes, sir," said Peter, "just as blind as a 
 bat. Blind horses always have clear eyes. Make 
 a motion at his eyes, if you please, sir." 
 
 Blossom did so, and Kit threw up his head 
 rather as if something pricked him under the 
 chin than as if fearing a blow. Blossom repeat 
 ed the experiment, and Kit jerked back in con 
 siderable astonishment. 
 
 " Stone-blind, you see, gentlemen," proceeded 
 Peter ; "but he s just as good to travel of a dark 
 night as if he had eyes." 
 
 "Blame my buttons," said Blossom, "if I like 
 them eyes !" 
 
30 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 "No," said Peter, "nor I neither. Fd rather 
 have em made of diamonds ; but they ll do if 
 they don t show as much white as Bullet s." 
 
 "Well," said Blossom, "make a pass at me." 
 
 "No," said Peter, "you made the banter, now 
 make your pass." 
 
 "Well, I m never afraid to price my bosses. 
 You must give me twenty-five dollars boot." 
 
 "Oh, certainly; say fifty, and my saddle and 
 bridle in. Here, Neddy, my son, take away dad 
 dy s horse." 
 
 "Well," said Blossom, "I ve made my pass, 
 now you make yours." 
 
 "I m for short talk in a horse-swap, and there 
 fore always tell a gentleman at once what I mean 
 to do. You must give me ten dollars." 
 
 Blossom swore absolutely, roundly, and pro 
 fanely that he never would give boot. 
 
 " Well," said Peter, " I didn t care about trad 
 ing ; but you cut such high shines that I thought 
 I d like to back you out, and I ve done it. Gen 
 tlemen, you see I ve brought him to a hack." 
 
 "Come, old man," said Blossom, "I ve been 
 joking with you. I begin to think you do want 
 to trade ; therefore, give me five dollars and take 
 Bullet. I d rather lose ten dollars any time than 
 not make a trade, though I hate to fling away a 
 good hoss." 
 
 "Well," said Peter, "I ll be as clever as you 
 are. Just put the five dollars on Bullet s back, 
 and hand him over ; it s a trade." 
 
 Blossom swore again, as roundly as before, that 
 he would not give boot; and, said he, "Bullet 
 
THE HORSE-SWAP 31 
 
 wouldn t hold five dollars on his back, nohow. 
 But, as I bantered you, if you say an even swap, 
 here s at you." 
 
 "I told you/ said Peter, "Fd be as clever as 
 you ; therefore, here goes two dollars more, just 
 for trade sake. Give me three dollars, and it s a 
 bargain." 
 
 Blossom repeated his former assertion ; and 
 here the parties stood for a long time, and the 
 by-standers (for many were now collected) began 
 to taunt both parties. After some time, however, 
 it was pretty unanimously decided that the old 
 man had backed Blossom out. 
 
 At length Blossom swore he " never would be 
 backed out for three dollars after bantering a 
 man" ; and, accordingly, they closed the trade. 
 
 "Now," said Blossom, as he handed Peter the 
 three dollars, "Fm a man that, when he makes 
 a bad trade, makes the most of it until he can 
 make a better. Fm for no rues and after-claps." 
 
 "That s just my way," said Peter; "I never 
 goes to law to mend my bargains." 
 
 "Ah, you re the kind of boy I love to trade 
 with. Here s your hoss, old man. Take the sad 
 dle and bridle off him, and Fll strip yours ; but 
 lift up the blanket easy from Bullet s back, for 
 he s a mighty tender-backed hoss." 
 
 The old man removed the saddle, but the 
 blanket stuck fast. He attempted to raise it, and 
 Bullet bowed himself, switched his tail, danced a 
 little, and gave signs of biting. 
 
 "Don t hurt him, old man," said Blossom, 
 archly ; " take it off easy. I am, perhaps, a leetle 
 
32 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 of the best man at a horse-swap that ever catched 
 a coon/ 7 
 
 Peter continued to pull at the blanket more 
 and more roughly, and Bullet became more and 
 more cavortish, insomuch that, when the blanket 
 came off, he had reached the kicking point in 
 good earnest. 
 
 The removal of the blanket disclosed a sore on 
 Bullet s backbone that seemed to have defied all 
 medical skill. It measured six full inches in 
 length and four in breadth, and had as many 
 features as Bullet had motions. My heart sick 
 ened at the sight ; and I felt that the brute who 
 had been riding him in that situation deserved 
 the halter. 
 
 The prevailing feeling, however, was that of 
 mirth. The laugh became loud and general at 
 the old man s expense, and rustic witticisms were 
 liberally bestowed upon him and his late pur 
 chase. These Blossom continued to provoke by 
 various remarks. He asked the old man "if he 
 thought Bullet would let five dollars lie on his 
 back." He declared most seriously that he had 
 owned that horse three months, and had never 
 discovered before that he had a sore back, "or 
 he never should have thought of trading him," 
 etc., etc. 
 
 The old man bore it all with the most philo 
 sophic composure. He evinced no astonishment 
 at his late discovery, and made no replies. But 
 his son Neddy had not disciplined his feelings 
 quite so well. His eyes opened wider and wider 
 from the first to the last pull of the blanket, and 
 
THE HOUSE-SWAP 83 
 
 when the whole sore burst upon his view, aston 
 ishment and fright seemed to contend for the 
 mastery of his countenance. As the blanket 
 disappeared, he stuck his hands in his breeches 
 pockets, heaved a deep sigh, and lapsed into a 
 profound reverie, from which he was only roused 
 by the cuts at his father. He bore them as long 
 as he could ; and, when he could contain himself 
 no longer, he began, with a certain wildness of 
 expression which gave a peculiar interest to what 
 he uttered : " His back s mighty bad off ; but dod 
 drot my soul if he s put it to daddy as bad as he 
 thinks he has, for old Kit s both blind and deef, 
 I ll be dod drot if he ein t !" 
 
 The devil he is \" said Blossom. 
 
 " Yes, dod drot my soul if he ein t! You walk 
 him, and see if he ein t. His eyes don t look 
 like it ; but he d jist as leve go agin the house 
 with you, or in a ditch, as anyhow. Now you 
 go try him." The laugh was now turned on 
 Blossom, and many rushed to test the fidelity 
 of the little boy s report. A few experiments 
 established its truth beyond controversy. 
 
 " Neddy," said the old man, " you oughtn t to 
 try and make people discontented with their 
 things. Stranger, don t mind what the little boy 
 says. If you can only get Kit rid of them little 
 failings you ll find him all sorts of a horse. You 
 are a leetle the best man at a horse-swap that ever 
 I got hold of ; but don t fool away Kit. Come, 
 Neddy, my son, let s be moving ; the stranger 
 seems to be getting snappish." 
 
 HALL. 
 
THE CHARACTER OF A NATIVE GEORGIAN 
 
 THERE are some yet living who knew the man 
 whose character I am about to delineate, and 
 these will unanimously bear testimony that, if 
 it be not faithfully drawn, it is not overdrawn. 
 They cannot avouch for the truth of the anec 
 dotes which I am about to relate of him, because 
 of these they know nothing ; but they will un 
 hesitatingly declare that there is nothing herein 
 ascribed to him of which he was incapable, and of 
 which he would not readily have been the author, 
 supposing the scenes in which I have placed him 
 to be real, and the thoughts and actions attrib 
 uted to him to have actually suggested them 
 selves to him. They will further testify that 
 the thoughts and actions are in perfect harmony 
 with his general character. 
 
 I do not feel at liberty as yet to give the name 
 of the person in question, and therefore he shall 
 be designated for the present by the appellation 
 of Ned Brace. 
 
 This man seemed to live only to amuse himself 
 with his fellow-beings, and he possessed the rare 
 faculty of deriving some gratification of his favor 
 ite propensity from almost every person whom 
 he met, no matter what his temper, standing, or 
 
THE CHARACTER OF A NATIVE GEORGIAN 35 
 
 disposition. Of course he had opportunities 
 enough of exercising his uncommon gift, and he 
 rarely suffered an opportunity to pass unim 
 proved. The beau in the presence of his mis 
 tress,, the fop, the pedant, the purse-proud, the 
 over-fastidious and sensitive, were Ned s favor 
 ite game. These never passed him uninjured, 
 and against such he directed his severest shafts. 
 With these he commonly amused himself, by 
 exciting in them every variety of emotion, under 
 circumstances peculiarly ridiculous. He was ad 
 mirably fitted to his vocation. He could assume 
 any character which his humor required him to 
 personate, and he could sustain it to perfection. 
 His knowledge of the character of others seemed 
 to be intuitive. 
 
 It may seem remarkable, but it is true, that, 
 though he lived his own peculiar life for about 
 sixteen years, after he reached the age of man 
 hood he never involved himself in a personal ren 
 counter with any one. This was owing in part 
 to his muscular frame, which few would be will 
 ing to engage, but more particularly to his adroit 
 ness in the management of his projects of fun. 
 He generally conducted them in such a way as 
 to render it impossible for any one to call him to 
 account without violating all the rules of decen 
 cy, politeness, and chivalry at once. But a few 
 anecdotes of him will give the reader a much 
 better idea of his character than he can possibly 
 derive from a general description. If these fulfil 
 the description which I have given of my hero, 
 all will agree that he is no imaginary being ; if 
 
36 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 they do not, it will only be because I am unfort 
 unate in my selection. Having known him from 
 his earliest manhood to his grave for he was a 
 native Georgian I confess that I am greatly 
 perplexed in determining what portions of his 
 singular history to lay before the reader as a 
 proper specimen of the whole. A three days 
 visit which I once made with him to Savannah 
 placed him in a greater variety of scenes and 
 among a greater diversity of characters than per 
 haps any other period of his life embracing no 
 longer time ; and, therefore, I will choose this 
 for my purpose. 
 
 We reached Savannah just at nightfall of a 
 cold December evening. As we approached the 
 tavern of Mr. Blank, at which we designed to 
 stop, Ned proposed to me that we should drop 
 our acquaintance until he should choose to renew 
 it. To this proposition I most cordially assent 
 ed, for I knew that, so doing, I should be saved 
 some mortifications, and avoid a thousand ques 
 tions which I would not know how to answer. 
 According to this understanding, Ned lingered 
 behind in order that I might reach the tavern 
 alone. 
 
 On alighting at the public-house I was led into 
 a large dining-room, at the entrance of which, to 
 the right, stood the bar, opening into the dining- 
 room. On the left, and rather nearer to the cen 
 tre of the room, was a fireplace, surrounded by 
 gentlemen. Upon entering the room my name 
 was demanded at the bar ; it was given, and 1 
 took my seat in the circle around the fire. I had 
 
THE CHARACTER OF A NATIVE GEORGIAN 37 
 
 been seated just long enough for the company to 
 survey me to their satisfaction and resume their 
 conversation, when Ned s heavy footstep at the 
 door turned the eyes of the company to the ap 
 proaching stranger. 
 
 " Your name, sir, if you please ?" said the rest 
 less little barkeeper, as he entered. 
 
 Ned stared at the question with apparent 
 alarm, cast a fearful glance at the company, 
 frowned, and shook his head in token of caution 
 to the barkeeper ; looked confused for a moment, 
 then, as if suddenly recollecting himself, jerked 
 a piece of paper out of his pocket, turned from 
 the company, wrote on it with his pencil, handed 
 it to the barkeeper, walked to the left of the fire 
 place, and took the most conspicuous seat in the 
 circle. He looked at no one, spoke to no one, 
 but, fixing his eyes on the fire, lapsed into a pro 
 found reverie. 
 
 The conversation, which had been pretty gen 
 eral before, stopped as short as if every man in 
 the room had been shot dead. Every eye was 
 fixed on Ned, and every variety of expression 
 was to be seen on the countenances of the per 
 sons present. The landlord came in ; the bar 
 keeper whispered to him and looked at Ned. 
 The landlord looked at him too with astonish 
 ment and alarm ; the barkeeper produced a piece 
 of paper, and both of them examined it, as if 
 searching for fig-mite with the naked eye. They 
 rose from the examination unsatisfied, and looked 
 at Ned again. Those of the company who recov 
 ered first from their astonishment tried to revive 
 
38 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 the conversation, but the effort was awkward, met 
 with no support, and failed. The barkeeper, for 
 the first time in his life, became dignified and 
 solemn, and left the bar to take care of itself. 
 The landlord had a world of foolish questions to 
 ask the gentlemen directly opposite to Ned, for 
 which purpose he passed round to them every two 
 minutes, and the answer to none did he hear. 
 
 Three or four boarders coming in, who were 
 unapprised of what had happened, at length re 
 vived the conversation ; not, however, until they 
 had created some confusion by inquiring of their 
 friends the cause of their sober looks. As soon 
 as the conversation began to become easy and 
 natural Ned rose and walked out into the entry. 
 With the first movement all were as hushed as 
 death, but when he had cleared the door an 
 other Babel scene ensued. Some inquired, 
 others suspected, and all wondered. Some were 
 engaged in telling the strangers what had hap 
 pened, others were making towards the bar, and 
 all were becoming clamorous, when Ned re 
 turned and took his seat. His re-entry was as 
 fatal to conversation as was the first movement 
 of his exit ; but it soon recovered from the 
 shock, with the difference, however, that those 
 who led before were now mute, and wholly ab 
 sorbed in the contemplation of Ned s person. 
 
 After retaining his seat for about ten minutes, 
 Ned rose again, inquired the way to the stable, 
 and left the house. As soon as he passed the 
 outer door, the barkeeper hastened to the com 
 pany with Ned s paper in his hand. " Gentle- 
 
THE CHARACTER OP A NATIVE GEORGIAN 39 
 
 men," said he, " can any of yon tell me what 
 name this is ?" All rushed to the paper in an 
 instant ; one or two pair of heads met over it 
 with considerable force. After pondering over 
 it to their heart s content, they all agreed that 
 the first letter was an " E," and the second a 
 " B" or an " R," and the d 1 himself could not 
 make out the balance. While they were thus 
 engaged, to the astonishment of everybody, Ned 
 interrupted their deliberations with, " Gentle 
 men, if you have satisfied yourselves with that 
 paper, 1 11 thank you for it." It is easy to imag 
 ine, but impossible to describe, the looks and ac 
 tions of the company under their surprise and 
 mortification. They dropped off, and left the 
 barkeeper to his appropriate duty of handing the 
 paper to Ned. He reached it forth, but Ned 
 moved not a hand to receive it for about the 
 space of three seconds, during which time he 
 kept his eyes fixed upon the arch - offender in 
 awfully solemn rebuke. He then took it grave 
 ly and put it in his pocket, and left the barkeep 
 er with a shaking ague upon him. From this 
 moment he became Ned s most obsequious and 
 willing slave. 
 
 Supper was announced ; Mrs. Blank, the land 
 lady, took the head of the table, and Ned seated 
 himself next to her. Her looks denoted some 
 alarm at finding him so near to her, and plainly 
 showed that he had been fully described to her 
 by her husband or some one else. 
 
 " Will you take tea or coffee, sir ?" said she. 
 
 " Why, madam," said Ned, in a tone as cour- 
 
40 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 teous as Chesterfield himself could have used, 
 "I am really ashamed to acknowledge and to 
 expose my very singular appetite ; but habitual 
 indulgence of it has made it necessary to my 
 comfort, if not to my health, that I should still 
 favor it when I can. If you will pardon me, I 
 will take both at the same time." 
 
 This respectful reply (which, by-the-way, she 
 alone was permitted to hear) had its natural ef 
 fect. It won for him her unqualified indul 
 gence, raised doubts whether he could be the 
 suspicious character which had been described 
 to her, and begat in her a desire to cultivate a 
 further acquaintance with him. She handed to 
 him the two cups, and accompanied them with 
 some remarks, drawn from her own observation 
 in the line of her business, calculated to recon 
 cile him to his whimsical appetite ; but she 
 could extract from Ned nothing but monosylla 
 bles, and sometimes not even that much. Con 
 sequently, the good lady began very soon to re 
 lapse into her former feelings. 
 
 Ned placed a cup on either side of him, and 
 commenced stirring both at the same time very 
 deliberately. This done, he sipped a little tea, 
 and asked Mrs. B. for a drop more milk in it. 
 Then he tasted his coffee, and desired a little 
 more sugar in it. Then he tasted his tea again, 
 and requested a small lump more sugar in it. 
 Lastly, he tasted his coffee, and desired a few 
 drops more milk in that. It was easy to discover 
 that, before he got suited, the landlady had sol 
 emnly resolved never to offer any more encourage- 
 
THE CHARACTER OF A NATIVE GEORGIAN 41 
 
 ments to such an appetite. She waxed exceeding 
 ly petulant, and., having nothing else to scold, she 
 scolded the servants, of course. 
 
 Waffles were handed to Ned, and he took one; 
 batter-cakes were handed, and he took one ; and 
 so on of muffins, rolls, and corn-bread. Having 
 laid in these provisions, he turned into his plate, 
 upon his waffle and batter- cake, some of the 
 crumbs of the several kinds of bread which he 
 had taken, in different proportions, and com 
 menced mashing all together with his knife. 
 During this operation the landlady frowned and 
 pouted, the servants giggled, and the boarders 
 were variously affected. 
 
 Having reduced his mess to the consistency of 
 a hard poultice, he packed it all up to one side of 
 his plate in the form of a terrapin, and smoothed 
 it all over nicely with his knife. Nearly opposite 
 to Ned, but a little below him, sat a waspish 
 little gentleman, who had been watching him 
 with increasing torments from the first to the 
 last movement of Ned s knife. His tortures 
 were visible to blinder eyes than Ned s, and, 
 doubtless, had been seen by him in their earliest 
 paroxysms. This gentleman occupied a seat 
 nearest to a dish of steak, and was in the act of 
 muttering something about " brutes" to his 
 next neighbor, when Ned beckoned a servant to 
 him, and requested him "to ask that gentleman 
 for a small bit of steak." The servant obeyed, 
 and, planting Ned s plate directly between the 
 gentleman s and the steak -dish, delivered his 
 message. The testy gentleman turned his head, 
 
42 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 and the first thing he saw was Ned s parti 
 colored terrapin right under his nose. He 
 started as if he had been struck by a snapping- 
 turtle, reddened to scarlet, looked at Ned (who 
 appeared as innocent as a lamb), looked at the 
 servant (who appeared as innocent as Ned), and 
 then fell to work on the steak as if he were am 
 putating all Ned s limbs at once. 
 
 Ned now commenced his repast. He ate his 
 meat and breads in the usual way, but he drank 
 his liquids in all ways. First a sip of tea, then of 
 coffee ; then two of the first and one of the last ; 
 then three of the last and one of the first, and so 
 on. 
 
 His steak was soon consumed, and his plate 
 was a second time returned to the mettlesome 
 gentleman "for another very small bit of steak." 
 The plate paid its second visit precisely as it had 
 its first ; and as soon as the fiery gentleman saw 
 the half -demolished terrapin again under his 
 nose he seized a fork, drove it into the largest 
 slice of steak in the dish, dashed it into Ned s 
 plate, rose from the table, and left the room, 
 cursing Ned from the very inmost chamber of 
 his soul. Every person at the table, except Ned, 
 laughed outright at the little man s fury ; but 
 Ned did not even smile ; nay, he looked for all 
 the world as if he thought the laugh was at 
 him. 
 
 The boarders one after another retired, until 
 Ned and the landlady were left alone at the 
 table. 
 
 " Will you have another cup of tea and coffee, 
 
THE CHARACTER OP A NATIVE GEORGIAN 43 
 
 sir ?" said she, by the way of convincing him 
 that he ought to retire, seeing that he had fin 
 ished his supper. 
 
 "No, I thank you, madam," returned Ned. 
 
 " Will you have a glass of milk, and a cup of 
 tea or coffee, or all three together ?" 
 
 "No, ma am," said Ned. "lam not blind, 
 madam," continued he, " to the effects which 
 my unfortunate eccentricities have produced 
 upon yourself and your company ; nor have I 
 witnessed them without those feelings which 
 they are well calculated to inspire in a man of 
 ordinary sensibilities. I am aware, too, that I 
 am prolonging and aggravating your uneasiness 
 by detaining you beyond the hour which de 
 mands your presence at the table ; but I could 
 not permit you to retire without again bespeak 
 ing your indulgence of the strange, unnatural 
 appetite which has just caused you so much as 
 tonishment and mortification. The story of its 
 beginning might be interesting, and certainly 
 would be instructing to you if you are a mother ; 
 but I am indisposed at this time to obtrude it 
 upon your patience, and I presume you are still 
 less disposed to hear it. My principal object, 
 however, in claiming your attention for a mo 
 ment at this time is to assure you that, out of 
 respect to your feelings, I will surrender the en 
 joyment of my meals for the few days that I 
 have to remain in Savannah, and conform to the 
 customs of your table. The sudden change of 
 my habits will expose me to some inconvenience, 
 and may, perhaps, affect my health ; but I will 
 
44 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 willingly incur these hazards rather than renew 
 your mortification, or impose upon your family 
 the trouble of giving me my meals at my room." 
 
 The good lady, whose bitter feelings had given 
 place to the kinder emotion of pity and benevo 
 lence before Ned had half concluded his apology 
 (for it was delivered in a tone of the most melt 
 ing eloquence), caught at this last hint, and in 
 sisted upon sending his meals to his room. Ned 
 reluctantly consented, after extorting a pledge 
 from her that she would assume the responsibili 
 ties of the trouble that he was about to give the 
 family. 
 
 " As to your boarders, madam," said Ned, in 
 conclusion, "I have no apology to make to them. 
 I grant them the privilege of eating what they 
 please and as they please ; and, so far as they 
 are concerned, I shall exercise the same privi 
 leges, reckless of their feelings or opinions ; and 
 I shall take it as a singular favor if you will say 
 nothing to them or to any one else which may 
 lead them to the discovery that I am acquainted 
 with my own peculiarities." 
 
 The good lady promised obedience to his 
 wishes, and Ned, requesting to be conducted to 
 his room, retired. 
 
 A group of gentlemen at the fireplace had sent 
 many significant "hems" and smiles to Mrs. 
 Blank during her tete-d-tete with Ned ; and as 
 she approached them, on her way out of the 
 room, they began to taunt her playfully upon 
 the impression which she seemed to have made 
 upon the remarkable stranger. 
 
THE CHARACTER OP A NATIVE GEORGIAN 45 
 
 Really/ said one, "I thought the impression 
 was on the other side." 
 
 "And, in truth, so it was," said Mrs. B. At 
 this moment her husband stepped in. 
 
 "Til tell you what it is, Mr. Blank/ said one 
 of the company, " you d better keep a sharp look 
 out on that stranger ; our landlady is wonder 
 fully taken with him." 
 
 "I ll be bound," said Mr. B., "for my wife; 
 the less like anybody else in the world he is, the 
 better will she like him." 
 
 "Well, I assure you," said Mrs. B., "I never 
 had my feelings so deeply interested in a stranger 
 in my life. I d give the world to know his his 
 tory." 
 
 "Why, then," rejoined the landlord, "I sup 
 pose he has been quizzing us all this time." 
 
 "No," said she, "he is incapable of quizzing. 
 All that you have seen of him is unaffected, and 
 perfectly natural to him." 
 
 "Then, really," continued the husband, "he 
 is a very interesting object, and I congratulate 
 you upon getting so early into his confidence ; 
 but, as I am not quite as much captivated with 
 his unaffected graces as you seem to be, I shall 
 take the liberty, in charity to the rest of my 
 boarders, of requesting him to-morrow to seek 
 other lodgings." 
 
 " Oh," exclaimed Mrs. B., in the goodness of 
 her heart, and with a countenance evincive of 
 the deepest feeling, " I would not have you do 
 such a thing for the world. He s only going to 
 stay a few days." 
 
46 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 " How do you know ?" 
 
 "He told me so, and do let s bear with him 
 that short time. He sha n t trouble you or the 
 boarders any more." 
 
 "Why, Sarah," said the landlord, "I do be 
 lieve you are out of your senses !" 
 
 " Gone case !" said one boarder. Terrible 
 affair !" said another. "Bewitching little fel 
 low," said a third. "Come, Mrs. Blank, tell us 
 all he said to you ! We young men wish to know 
 how to please the ladies, so that we may get 
 wives easily. I m determined, the next party I 
 go to, to make a soup of everything on the wait 
 ers and eat all at once. I shall then become ir 
 resistible to the ladies." 
 
 " Get alolig with your nonsense," said Mrs. B., 
 smiling, as she left the room. 
 
 At eight o clock I retired to my room, which 
 happened (probably from the circumstance of 
 our reaching the hotel within a few minutes of 
 each other) to be adjoining Ned s. I had no 
 sooner entered my room than Ned followed me, 
 where we interchanged the particulars which 
 make up the foregoing story. He now expended 
 freely the laughter which he had been collecting 
 during the evening. He stated that his last in 
 terview with Mrs. Blank was the result of neces 
 sity ; that he found he had committed himself 
 in making up and disposing of his odd supper, 
 for that he should have to eat in the same way 
 during his whole stay in Savannah unless lie- 
 could manage to get his meals in private ; and, 
 though he was willing to do penance for one 
 
THE CHARACTER OP A NATIVE GEORGIAN 47 
 
 meal in order to purchase the amusement he had 
 enjoyed, he had no idea of tormenting himself 
 three or four days for the same purpose. To tell 
 you the honest truth, said he, nothing but an 
 appetite whetted by fasting and travelling could 
 have borne me through the table scene. As it 
 was, my stomach several times threatened to ex 
 pose my tricks to the whole company, by down 
 right open rebellion. I feel that I must make it 
 some atonement for the liberty I have taken with 
 it, and therefore propose that we go out and take 
 an oyster supper before we retire to rest. I as 
 sented. We set out, going separately until we 
 reached the street. 
 
 We were received by the oyster-vender in a 
 small shop which fronted upon the street, and 
 were conducted through it to a back door, and 
 thence, by a flight of steps, to a convenient room 
 on the second floor of an adjoining building. We 
 had been seated about three minutes when we 
 heard footsteps on the stairs, and directly caught 
 this sentence from the ascending stranger: 
 "Aha, Monsieur Middletong ! you say you hab 
 de bes oystar in la cittee ! Vel, me shall soon 
 see." 
 
 The sentence was hardly uttered before the 
 door opened and in stepped a gay, smirky little 
 Frenchman. He made us a low bow, and, as 
 soon as he rose from his obeisance, Ned rushed 
 to him in transports of joy, seized him by the 
 hand, and, shaking it with friendship s warmest- 
 grasp, exclaimed, " How do you do, my old 
 friend ? I had no idea of meeting you here ; 
 
48 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 how do you do, Mr. Squeezelfanter ? how have 
 you been this long time ?" 
 
 "Sair," said the Frenchman, "me tank you 
 ver much to lub me so hard ; but you mistake de 
 gentleman ; my name is not de Squeezilfaunter." 
 
 " Come, come, John," continued Ned, "quit 
 your old tricks before strangers. Mr. Hall, let 
 me introduce you to my particular friend, John 
 Squeezelfanter, from Paris." 
 
 "Perhaps, sir," said I, not knowing well what 
 to say or how to act in such an emergency 
 "perhaps you have mistaken the gentleman." 
 
 "Begar, sair," said monsieur, "he is mistake 
 eberyting at once. My name is not Zliaun ; me 
 play no treek ; me is not de gentlemong f ren ; 
 me did not come from Paree, but from Bor 
 deaux ; and me did not suppose dare was a man 
 in all France dat was name de Squeezilfaun- 
 ter." 
 
 " If I am mistaken," said Ned, " I humbly ask 
 your pardon ; but, really, you look so much like 
 my old friend Jack, and talk so much like him, 
 that I would have sworn you were he." 
 
 "Vel, sair," said monsieur, looking at Ned as 
 though he might be an acquaintance after all, 
 "vel, sair, dis time you tell my name right ; my 
 name is Jacques* Jacques Sancric." 
 
 "There," proceeded Ned, "I knew it was im 
 possible I could be mistaken ; your whole family 
 settled on Sandy Creek; I knew your father and 
 
 * This name in French is pronounced very nearty like 
 " Jack" in English. 
 
THE CHARACTER OF A NATIVE GEORGIAN 49 
 
 mother, your sisters Patsy and Dilsy, your brother 
 Ichabod, your aunt Bridget, your " 
 
 " Oh, mon Dieu, mon Dieu I" exclaimed the 
 Frenchman, no longer able to contain his sur 
 prise ; " dat is von "Mericane familee. Dare vas 
 not one French familee hab all dat name since 
 dis vorl 7 vas make." 
 
 "Now look at me, good Jack," said Ned, 
 "and see if you don t recollect your old friend 
 Obadiah Snoddleburg, who used to play with 
 you, when a boy, in Sandy Creek." 
 
 " Vel, Monsieur Snotborg, me look at you ver 
 veil, and, begar, me neber see you in de creek, 
 nor out de creek. Tis ver surprise you not 
 know one name from one creek." 
 
 " Oh, very well, sir, very well ; I forgot where 
 I was ; I understand you now, perfectly. You 
 are not the first gentleman I have met with in 
 Savannah who knew me well in the country and 
 forgot me in town. I ask your pardon, sir, and 
 hope you ll excuse me." 
 
 "Me is ver wilF to know you now, sair; but, 
 begar, me will not tell you one lie, to know you 
 twenty-five and tirty years ago." 
 
 "It makes no difference, sir," said Ned, look 
 ing through tfully and chagrined. "I beg leave, 
 however, before we close our acquaintance, to 
 correct one mistake which I made. I said you 
 were from Paris ; I believe, on reflection, I was 
 wrong ; I think your sister Dilsy told me you 
 were from Bordeaux." 
 
 "Foutre de sist Dils! Here, Monsieur Mid- 
 dletong ! My oystar ready ?" 
 4 
 
50 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 ? Yes, sir." 
 
 " Vel, if my oystar ready, you give dem to my 
 fren Monsieur Snotborg ; and ask him to be so 
 good to carry dem to my sist Dils, and mybrod- 
 der Ichbod on Sand Creek." So saying, he van 
 ished like lightning. 
 
 The next morning, at breakfast, I occupied 
 Ned s seat. Mrs. Blank had no sooner taken 
 her place than she ordered a servant to bring 
 her a waiter, upon which she placed a cup of 
 tea and another of coffee ; then ordering three 
 plates, she placed them on it ; sent one servant 
 for one kind of bread, and another for another, 
 and so on through all the varieties that were on 
 the table, from which she made selections for plate 
 No. 1. In the same way did she collect meats 
 for plate No. 2 ; No. 3 she left blank. She had 
 nearly completed her operations, when her hus 
 band came to know why every servant was en 
 gaged and no gentleman helped to anything, 
 when the oddly furnished waiter met his eye and 
 fully explained the wonder. 
 
 " In God s name, Sarah," said he, " who are 
 you mixing up those messes for ?" 
 
 "For that strange gentleman we were speak 
 ing of last night," was the reply. 
 
 " Why doesn t he come to the table ?" 
 
 "He was very anxious to come, but I would 
 not let him." 
 
 "You would not let him ? Why not ?" 
 
 " Because I did not wish to see a man of his 
 delicate sensibilities ridiculed and insulted at 
 my table." 
 
TIIE CHARACTER OF A NATIVE GEORGIAN 51 
 
 " Delicate devilabilities ! Then why didn t 
 you send a servant to collect his mixtures ? v 
 
 " Because I preferred doing it myself to troub 
 ling the boarders. I knew that, wherever his 
 plates went, the gentlemen would be making 
 merry over them, and I couldn t bear to see it." 
 
 The landlord looked at her for a moment with 
 commingled astonishment, doubt, and alarm ; 
 and then, upon the breath of a deep-drawn sigh, 
 proceeded : 
 
 " Well, d n* the man ! He hasn t been in 
 the house more than two hours, except when he 
 was asleep, and he has insulted one half my 
 boarders, made fools of the other half, turned 
 the head of my barkeeper, crazed all my servants, 
 and run my wife right stark, staring, raving 
 mad ; a man who is a perfect clown in his man 
 ners, and who, I have no doubt, will in the end 
 prove to be a horse-thief." 
 
 Much occurred between the landlord and his 
 lady in relation to Ned which we must, of neces 
 sity, omit. Suffice it to say that her assiduities 
 to Ned, her unexplained sympathies for him, 
 her often-repeated desires to become better ac 
 quainted with him, conspiring with one or two 
 short interviews which her husband saw between 
 her and Ned (and which consisted of nothing 
 
 * I should certainly omit such expressions as this, could 
 I do so with historic fidelity; but the peculiarities of the 
 times of which I am writing cannot be faithfully repre 
 sented without them. In recording things as they are, 
 truth requires me sometimes to put profane language into 
 the mouths of my characters. 
 
52 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 more than expressions of regret on his part at 
 the trouble he was giving the family, and assur 
 ance on hers that it was no trouble at all), be 
 gan to bring upon the landlord the husband s 
 worst calamity. This she soon observed ; and, 
 considering her duty to her husband as of para 
 mount obligation, she gave him an explanation 
 that was entirely satisfactory. She told him 
 that Ned was a man of refined feelings and 
 highly cultivated mind, but that, in his infancy, 
 his mother had forced him to eat different kinds 
 of diet together, until she had produced in him 
 a vitiated and unconquerable appetite, which he 
 was now constrained to indulge, as the drunkard 
 does his, or be miserable. As the good man was 
 prepared to believe any story of woman s folly, 
 he was satisfied. 
 
 This being the Sabbath, at the usual hour Ned 
 went to church, and selected for his morning 
 service one of those churches in which the pews 
 are free, and in which the hymn is given out, 
 and sung by the congregation, a half recitative. 
 
 Ned entered the church in as fast a walk as 
 he could possibly assume ; proceeded about half 
 down the aisle, and popped himself down in 
 his seat as quick as if he had been shot. The 
 more thoughtless of the congregation began to 
 titter, and the graver peeped up slyly but sol 
 emnly at him. 
 
 The pastor rose, and, before giving out the 
 hymn, observed that singing was a part of the 
 service in which he thought the whole congrega 
 tion ought to join. Thus saying, he gave out 
 
54 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 the first lines of the hymn. As soon as the tune 
 was raised, Ned struck in with one of the loud 
 est, hoarsest, and most discordant voices that 
 ever annoyed a solemn assembly. 
 
 "I would observe," said the preacher, before 
 giving out the next two lines, "that there are 
 some persons who have not the gift of singing ; 
 such, of course, are not expected to sing." Ned 
 took the hint and sang no more ; but his entrance 
 into church and his entrance into the hymn had 
 already dispersed the solemnity of three-fifths of 
 the congregation. 
 
 As soon as the pastor commenced his sermon, 
 Ned opened his eyes, threw back his head, 
 dropped his under-jaw, and surrendered himself 
 to the most intense interest. The preacher was 
 an indifferent one ; and by as much as he became 
 dull and insipid, by so much did Ned become 
 absorbed in the discourse. And yet it was im 
 possible for the nicest observer to detect any 
 thing in his looks or manner short of the most 
 solemn devotion. The effect which his con 
 duct had upon the congregation, and their sub 
 sequent remarks, must be left to the imagination 
 of the reader. I give but one remark: "Bless 
 that good man who came in the church so quick," 
 said a venerable matron as she left the church 
 door, "how he was affected by the sarment!" 
 
 Ned went to church no more on that day. 
 About four o clock in the afternoon, while he 
 was standing at the tavern door, a funeral pro 
 cession passed by, at the foot of which, and 
 singly, walked one of the smallest men I ever 
 
56 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 saw. As soon as he came opposite the door, 
 Ned stepped out and joined him with great so 
 lemnity. The contrast between the two was 
 ludicrously striking, and the little man s looks 
 and uneasiness plainly showed that he felt it. 
 However, he soon became reconciled to it. They 
 proceeded but a little way before Ned inquired 
 of his companion who was dead. 
 
 " Mr. Noah Bills," said the little man. 
 
 "Nan ?" said Ned, raising his hand to his ear, 
 in token of deafness, and bending his head to 
 the speaker. 
 
 "Mr. Noah Bills/ repeated the little man, 
 loud enough to disturb the two couple imme 
 diately before him. 
 
 "Mrs. Noel s Bill!" said Ned, with mortifi 
 cation and astonishment. "Do the white per 
 sons pay such respect to niggers in Savannah ? 
 JshaVt do it." So saying, he left the procession. 
 
 The little man was at first considerably net 
 tled ; but, upon being left to his own reflections, 
 he got into an uncontrollable fit of laughter, as 
 did the couple immediately in advance of him, 
 who overheard Ned s remark. The procession 
 now exhibited a most mortifying spectacle ; the 
 head of it in mourning and in tears,, and the 
 foot of it convulsed with laughter. 
 . On Monday Ned employed himself in dispos 
 ing of the business which brought him to Savan 
 nah, and I saw but little of him ; but I could 
 not step into the street without hearing of him. 
 All talked about him, and hardly any two agreed 
 about his character. 
 
THE CHARACTER OF A NATIVE GEORGIAN 57 
 
 On Tuesday he visited the market, and set it 
 all in astonishment or laughter. He wanted to 
 buy something of everybody, and some of every 
 thing ; but could not agree upon the terms of a 
 trade, because he always wanted his articles in 
 such portions and numbers as no one would sell, 
 or upon conditions to which no one would sub 
 mit. To give a single example : he beset an old 
 negro woman to sell him the half of a living 
 chicken. 
 
 "Do, my good mauma, sell it to me," said he; 
 " my wife is very sick, and is longing for chicken 
 pie, and this is all the money I have" (holding 
 out twelve and a half cents in silver), "and it s 
 just what a half-chicken comes to at your own 
 price." 
 
 "Ki, massa ! how gwine cut live chicken in 
 two ?" 
 
 " I don t want you to cut it in two alive ; kill 
 it, clean it, and then divide it." 
 
 " Name o God ! what sort o chance got to 
 clean chicken in de market-house ? Whay de 
 water for scall urn and wash um ?" 
 
 " Don t scald it at all ; just pick it, so." 
 
 "Ech-ech! Fedder fly all ober de buckera- 
 man meat, he come bang me fo true. No, 
 massa ; I mighty sorry for your wife, but I no 
 cutty chicken open." 
 
 In the afternoon Ned entered the dining-room 
 of the tavern, and who should he find there but 
 Monsieur Sancric, of oyster-house memory. He 
 and the tavern-keeper were alone. With the 
 first glimpse of Ned, "Le diable !" exclaimed the 
 
58 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 Frenchman, "here my brodder Ichbod 
 and away he went. 
 
 " Mr. Sancric !" said the landlord,, calling to 
 him as if to tell him something just thought of, 
 and following him out, "what did you say that 
 man s name is ?" 
 
 "He name Monsieur Snotborg." 
 
 " Why, that can t be his name, for it begins 
 with a B or an R. Where is he from ?" 
 
 "From Sand Creek." 
 
 "Where did you know him ?" 
 
 "Begar, me neber did know him." Here Ned 
 sauntered in sight of the Frenchman, and he 
 vanished. 
 
 "Well," said the landlord, as he returned, "it 
 does seem to me that everybody who has any 
 thing to do with that man runs crazy forthwith." 
 
 When he entered the dining-room he found 
 Ned deeply engaged reading a child s primer, 
 with which he seemed wonderfully delighted. 
 The landlord sat for a moment, smiled, and then 
 hastily left the room. As soon as he disap 
 peared, Ned laid down his book, and took his 
 station behind some cloaks in the bar, which at 
 the moment was deserted. He had just reached 
 his place when the landlord returned with his 
 lady. 
 
 " Oh," said the first, "he s gone ! I brought 
 you in to show you what kind of books your man 
 of refined feelings and highly cultivated mind 
 delights in. But he has left his book, and here 
 it is, opened at the place where he left oif ; and 
 do let s see what s in it." 
 
THE CHARACTER OF A NATIVE GEORGIAN 59 
 
 They examined, and found that he had been 
 reading the interesting poem of " Little Jack 
 Homer." 
 
 <f Now/ continued the landlord, "if you ll be 
 lieve me, he was just as much delighted with 
 that story as you or I would be with the best 
 written number of the Spectator." 
 
 "Well, it s very strange," said Mrs. Blank; 
 " I reckon he must be flighty, for no man could 
 have made a more gentlemanly apology than he 
 did to me for his peculiarities, and no one could 
 have urged it more feelingly." 
 
 "One thing is very certain," said the husband ; 
 " if he be not flighty himself, he has a wonderful 
 knack of making everybody else so. Sancric ran 
 away from him just now as if he had seen the 
 devil ; called him by one name when he left the 
 room, by another at the door, told me where he 
 came from, and finally swore he did not know 
 him at all." 
 
 Ned, having slipped softly from the bar into 
 the entry during this interview, entered the din 
 ing-room as if from the street. 
 
 " I am happy," said he, smiling, " to meet you 
 together and alone, upon the eve of my departure 
 from Savannah, that I may explain to you my 
 singular conduct and ask your forgiveness of it. 
 I will do so if you will not expose my true char 
 acter until I shall have left the city." 
 
 This they promised. " My name, then," con 
 tinued he, "is Edward Brace, of Richmond 
 County. Humor has been my besetting sin from 
 my youth up. It has sunk me far below the sta- 
 
GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 tion to which my native gifts entitled me. It 
 has robbed me of the respect of all my acquaint 
 ances, and, what is much more to be regretted, 
 the esteem of some of my best and most indul 
 gent friends. All this I have long known ; and I 
 have a thousand times deplored, and as often re 
 solved to conquer, my self-destroying propensity. 
 But so deeply is it wrought into my very nature, 
 so completely and indissolubly interwoven is it 
 with every fibre and filament of my being, that 
 I have found it impossible for me to subdue it. 
 Being on my first visit to Savannah, unknowing 
 and unknown, I could not forego the opportunity 
 which it furnished of gratifying my ungovern 
 able proclivity. All the extravagances which 
 you have seen have been in subservience to it." 
 
 He then explained the cause of his troubling 
 the kind lady before him to give him his meals 
 at his room, and the strange conduct of Monsieur 
 Sancric, at which they both laughed heartily. 
 He referred them to me for confirmation of what 
 he had told them. Having gone thus far, con 
 tinued he, " I must sustain my character until 
 to-morrow, when I shall leave Savannah." 
 
 Having now two more to enjoy his humor with 
 him and myself, he let himself loose that night 
 among the boarders with all his strength, and 
 never did I see two mortals laugh as did Mr. and 
 Mrs. Blank. 
 
 Far as I have extended this sketch, I cannot 
 close without exhibiting Ned in one new scene 
 in which accident placed him before he left Sa 
 vannah. 
 
THE CHARACTER OF A NATIVE GEORGIAN 61 
 
 About two o clock on the morning of our de 
 parture the town was alarmed by the cry of fire. 
 Ned got up before me, and, taking one of my 
 boots from the door and putting one of his in its 
 place, he marched down to the front door with 
 odd boots. On coming out and finding what had 
 been done, I knew that Ned could not have left 
 the house, for it was impossible for him to wear 
 my boot. I was about descending the stairs 
 when he called to me from the front door, and 
 said the servant had mixed our boots, and that 
 he had brought down one of mine. When I 
 reached the front door I found Ned and Mr. and 
 Mrs. Blank there; all the inmates of the house 
 having left it, who designed to leave it, but Ned 
 and myself. 
 
 " Don t go and leave me, Hall/ said he, hold 
 ing my boot in his hand, and having his own on 
 his leg. 
 
 "How can I leave you," said I, "unless you ll 
 give me my boot ?" This he did not seem to hear. 
 
 " Do run, gentlemen," said Mrs. Blank, greatly 
 alarmed. "Mr. Brace, you ve got Mr. Hall s 
 boot; give it to him." 
 
 "In a minute, madam," said he, seeming to 
 be beside himself. A second after, however, all 
 was explained to me. He designed to have my 
 company to the fire, and his own fun before he 
 went. 
 
 A man came posting along in great alarm and 
 crying "Fire !" loudly. 
 
 " Mister, mister," said Ned, jumping out of the 
 house. 
 
62 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 "Sir," said the man, stopping and puffing 
 awfully. 
 
 " Have you seen Mr. Peleg Q. C. Stone along 
 where you ve been ?" inquired Ned, with anxious 
 solicitude. 
 
 "D n Mr. Peleg Q. C. Stone!" said the stran 
 ger. "What chance have I of seeing anybody, 
 hopping up at two o clock in the morning, and 
 the town a-fire !" and on he went. 
 
 Thus did he amuse himself w r ith various ques 
 tions and remarks to four or five passengers, until 
 even Mrs. Blank forgot for a while that the town 
 was in flames. The last object of his sport was 
 a woman, who came along exclaiming, " Oh, it s 
 Mr. Dalby s house ! I m sure it is Mr. Dalby s 
 house !" Two gentlemen assured her that the 
 fire was far beyond Mr. Dalby s house ; but still 
 she went on with her exclamations. When she 
 had passed the door about ten steps, Ned per 
 mitted me to cover my frozen foot with my boot, 
 and we moved on towards the fire. We soon over 
 took the woman just mentioned, who had become 
 somewhat pacified. As Ned came alongside of 
 her, without seeming to notice her, he observed, 
 "Poor Dalby, I see his house is gone." 
 
 "I said so," she screamed out ; "I knew it !" 
 and on she went, screaming ten times louder than 
 before. 
 
 As soon as we reached the fire a gentleman in 
 military dress rode up and ordered Ned into the 
 line to hand buckets. Ned stepped in, and the 
 first bucket that was handed to him he raised 
 very deliberately to his mouth and began to 
 
THE CHARACTER OF A NATIVE GEORGIAN 68 
 
 drink. In a few seconds all on Ned s right were 
 overburdened with buckets and calling loudly 
 for relief,, while those on his left were unem 
 ployed. Terrible were the cursing and clamor,, 
 and twenty voices at once ordered Ned out of 
 the line. Ned stepped out, and along came the 
 man on horseback and ordered him in again. 
 
 " Captain/ said Ned, " I am so thirsty that I 
 can do nothing until I get some water, and they 
 will not let me drink in the line." 
 
 " Well," said the captain, " step in, and I ll see 
 that you get a drink." 
 
 Ned stepped in again, and receiving the first 
 bucket began to raise it to his lips very slowly, 
 when some one hallooed to him to pass on the 
 bucket, and he brought it down again and hand 
 ed it on. 
 
 " Why didn t you drink ?" said the captain. 
 
 "Why? Don t you see they won t let me?" 
 said Ned. 
 
 "Don t mind what they say ; drink, and then 
 go on with your work." 
 
 Ned took the next bucket, and commenced 
 raising it as before, when some one again ordered 
 him to pass on the bucket. 
 
 "There," said Ned, turning to the captain, 
 with the bucket half raised, "you hear that ?" 
 
 "Why, blast your eyes," said the captain, 
 "what do you stop for? Drink on and have 
 done with it." 
 
 Ned raised the bucket to his lips and drank, 
 or pretended to drink, until a horse might have 
 been satisfied. 
 
64 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 "Ain t you done?" said the captain, general 
 mutiny and complaint beginning to prevail in 
 the line. 
 
 " Why, haVt you drank enough ?" said the 
 captain, becoming extremely impatient. 
 
 "Most/ 7 said Ned, letting out a long breath 
 and still holding the bucket near his lips. 
 
 "Zounds and blood I" cried the captain, "clear 
 yourself ; you ll drink an enginef ul of water !" 
 
 Ned left the ranks and went to his lodgings ; 
 and the rising sun found us on our way home 
 ward. 
 
 HALL. 
 
THE FIGHT 
 
 IN the younger days of the Republic there 
 
 lived in the county of two men who were 
 
 admitted on all hands to be the very best men 
 in the county, which in the Georgia vocabulary 
 means they could flog any other two men in the 
 county. Each, through many a hard -fought 
 battle, had acquired the mastery of his own 
 battalion ; but they lived on opposite sides of 
 the court - house and in different battalions, 
 consequently they were but seldom thrown to 
 gether. When they met, however, they were 
 always very friendly ; indeed, at their first inter 
 view they seemed to conceive a wonderful at 
 tachment to each other, which rather increased 
 than diminished as they became better acquaint 
 ed ; so that, but for the circumstance which I 
 am about to mention, the question, which had 
 been a thousand times asked, "Which is the 
 best man, Billy Stallions (Stallings) or Bob 
 Durham ?" would probably never have been an 
 swered. 
 
 Billy ruled the upper battalion and Bob the 
 lower. The former measured six feet and an 
 inch in his stockings, and, without a single 
 pound of cumbrous flesh about him, weighed a 
 
66 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 hundred and eighty. The latter was an inch 
 shorter than his rival, and ten pounds lighter ; 
 but he was much the more active of the two. 
 In running and jumping he had but few equals 
 in the county ; and in wrestling, not one. In 
 other respects they were nearly equal. Both 
 were admirable specimens of human nature in 
 its finest form. Billy s victories had generally 
 been achieved by the tremendous power of his 
 blows, one of which had often proved decisive of 
 his battles ; Bob s by his adroitness in bringing 
 his adversary to the ground. This advantage 
 he had never failed to gain at the onset, and 
 when gained he never failed to improve it to the 
 defeat of his adversary. These points of differ 
 ence have involved the reader in a doubt as to 
 the probable issue of a contest between them. 
 It was not so, however, with the two battalions. 
 Neither had the least difficulty in determining 
 the point by the most natural and irresistible 
 deductions a priori ; and though, by the same 
 course of reasoning, they arrived at directly 
 opposite conclusions, neither felt its confidence 
 in the least shaken by this circumstance. The 
 upper battalion swore "that Billy only wanted 
 one lick at him to knock his heart, liver, and 
 lights out of him, and if he got two at him 
 he d knock him into a cocked hat." The lower 
 battalion retorted " that he wouldn t have time 
 to double his fist before Bob would put his head 
 where his feet ought to be ; and that, by the 
 time he hit the ground, the meat would fly oif 
 his face so quick that people would think it was 
 
THE FIGHT 67 
 
 shook off by the fall." These disputes often led 
 to the argumentum ad liominem, but with such 
 equality of success on both sides as to leave the 
 main question just where they found it. They 
 usually ended, however, in the common way 
 with a bet ; and many a quart of old Jamaica 
 (whiskey had not then supplanted rum) was 
 staked upon the issue. Still, greatly to the an 
 noyance of the curious, Billy and Bob continued 
 to be good friends. 
 
 Now, there happened to reside in the county 
 just alluded to a little fellow by the name of 
 Eansy Sniffle : a sprout of Richmond, who, in his 
 earlier days, had fed copiously upon red clay and 
 blackberries. This diet had given to Ransy a 
 complexion that a corpse would have disdained 
 to own, and an abdominal rotundity that was 
 quite unprepossessing. Long spells of the fever 
 and ague, too, in Ransy s youth, had conspired 
 with clay and blackberries to throw him quite 
 out of the order of nature. His shoulders were 
 fleshless and elevated ; his head large and flat ; 
 his neck slim and translucent ; and his arms, 
 hands, fingers, and feet were lengthened out of 
 all proportion to the rest of his frame. His 
 joints were large and his limbs small ; and as 
 for flesh, he could not, with propriety, be said 
 to have any. Those parts which nature usually 
 supplies with the most of this article the calves 
 of the legs, for example presented in him the 
 appearance of so many well-drawn blisters. His 
 height was just five feet nothing ; and his average 
 weight in blackberry season, ninety-five. I have 
 
GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 been thus particular in describing him, for the 
 purpose of showing what a great matter a little 
 fire sometimes kindleth. There was nothing on 
 this earth which delighted Kansy so much as a 
 fight. He never seemed fairly alive except when 
 he was witnessing, fomenting, or talking about a 
 fight. Then, indeed, his deep -sunken gray eye 
 
 RANSY SNIFFLE 
 
 assumed something of a living fire, and his tongue 
 acquired a volubility that bordered upon elo 
 quence. Eansy had been kept for more than a 
 year in the most torturing suspense as to the 
 comparative manhood of Billy Stallings and Bob 
 Durham. He had resorted to all his usual ex 
 pedients to bring them in collision, and had en 
 tirely failed. He had faithfully reported to Bob 
 all that had been said by the people in the upper 
 
THE FIGHT 69 
 
 battalion "agin him," and "he was sure Billy 
 Stallings started it. He heard Billy say himself 
 to Jim Brown that he could whip him, or any 
 other man in his battalion"; and this he told to 
 Bob, adding, "Dod darn his soul, if he was a 
 little bigger, if he d let any man put upon his 
 battalion in such a way !" Bob replied, "If he 
 (Stallings) thought so, he d better come and try 
 it." This Ransy carried to Billy, and delivered 
 it with a spirit becoming his own dignity and 
 the character of his battalion, and with a color 
 ing well calculated to give it effect. These and 
 many other schemes which Ransy laid for the 
 gratification of his curiosity entirely failed of 
 their object. Billy and Bob continued friends, 
 and Ransy had begun to lapse into the most 
 tantalizing and hopeless despair, when a circum 
 stance occurred which led to a settlement of the 
 long-disputed question. 
 
 It is said that a hundred game-cocks will live in 
 perfect harmony together if you do not put a hen 
 with them ; and so it would have been with Billy 
 and Bob had there been no women in the world. 
 But there were women in the world, and from 
 them each of our heroes had taken to himself 
 a wife. The good ladies were no strangers to 
 the prowess of their husbands, and, strange as it 
 may seem, they presumed a little upon it. 
 
 The two battalions had met at the court-house 
 upon a regimental parade. The two champions 
 were there, and their wives had accompanied 
 them. Neither knew the other s lady, nor were 
 the ladies known to each other. The exercises 
 
70 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 of the day were just over, when Mrs. Stallings 
 and Mrs. Durham stepped simultaneously into 
 the store of Zephaniah Atwater, from "down 
 East." 
 
 " Have you any Turkey red ?" said Mrs. S. 
 
 " Have you any curtain calico ?" said Mrs. D. 
 at the same moment. 
 
 "Yes, ladies/ said Mr. Atwater, "I have 
 both." 
 
 "Then help me first," said Mrs. D., "for I m 
 in a hurry." 
 
 "Fm in as great a hurry as she is," said Mrs. 
 S., "and I ll thank you to help me first." 
 
 " And, pray, who are you, madam ?" continued 
 the other. 
 
 "Your betters, madam," was the reply. 
 
 At this moment Billy Stallings stepped in. 
 "Come," said he, "Nancy, let s be going; it s 
 getting late." 
 
 " Fd V been gone half an hour ago," she re 
 plied, "if it hadn t V been for that impudent 
 hussy." 
 
 "Who do you call an impudent hussy, you 
 nasty, good-for-nothing, snaggle-toothed gaub of 
 fat, you ?" returned Mrs. D. 
 
 "Look here, woman," said Billy, "have you 
 got a husband here ? If you have, I ll lick him 
 till he learns to teach you better manners, you 
 sassy heifer you !" 
 
 At this moment something was seen to rush 
 out of the store as if ten thousand hornets were 
 stinging it, crying, "Take care let me go 
 don t hold me where s Bob Durham ?" It was 
 
THE FIGHT 71 
 
 Ransy Sniffle, who had been listening in breath 
 less delight to all that had passed. 
 
 " Yonder s Bob,, setting on the court-house 
 steps," cried one. " What s the matter ?" 
 
 " Don t talk to me !" said Eansy. " Bob Dur 
 ham, you d better go long yonder and take care 
 of your wife. They re playing h 1 with her 
 there, in Zeph Atwater s store. Dod etarnally 
 darn my soul, if any man was to talk to my wife 
 as Bill Stallions is talking to yours, if I wouldn t 
 drive blue blazes through him in less than no 
 time !" 
 
 Bob sprang to the store in a minute, followed 
 by a hundred friends ; for the bully of a county 
 never wants friends. 
 
 "Bill Stallions," said Bob, as he entered, 
 "what have you been saying to my wife ?" 
 
 " Is that your wife ?" inquired Billy, obviously 
 much surprised and a little disconcerted. 
 
 "Yes, she is ; and no man shall abuse her, I 
 don t care Avho he is." 
 
 "Well," rejoined Billy, "it ain t worth while 
 to go over it ; I ve said enough for a fight, and 
 if you ll step out we ll settle it !" 
 
 "Billy," said Bob, "are you for a fair fight ?" 
 
 " I am," said Billy. " I ve heard much of your 
 manhood, and I believe I m a better man than 
 you are. If you will go into a ring with me we 
 can soon settle the dispute." 
 
 "Choose your friends," said Bob ; "make your 
 ring, and I ll be in with mine as soon as you will !" 
 
 They both stepped out, and began to strip very 
 deliberately, each battalion gathering round its 
 
72 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 champion, except Ransy, who kept himself busy 
 in a most honest endeavor to hear and see all that 
 transpired in both groups at the same time. He 
 ran from one to the other in quick succession ; 
 peeped here and listened there ; talked to this 
 one, then to that one, and then to himself ; squat 
 ted under one s legs and another s arms ; and, in 
 the short interval between stripping and stepping 
 into the ring, managed to get himself trod on by 
 half of both battalions. But Ransy was not the 
 only one interested upon this occasion ; the most 
 intense interest prevailed everywhere. Many 
 were the conjectures, doubts, oaths, and impre 
 cations uttered while the parties were preparing 
 for the combat. All the knowing ones were con 
 sulted as to the issue, and they all agreed, to a 
 man, in one of two opinions either that Bob 
 would flog Billy, or Billy would flog Bob. We 
 must be permitted, however, to dwell for a mo 
 ment upon the opinion of Squire Thomas Log- 
 gins, a man who, it was said, had never failed to 
 predict the issue of a fight in all his life. Indeed, 
 so unerring had he always proved in this regard 
 that it would have been counted the most ob 
 stinate infidelity to doubt for a moment after he 
 had delivered himself. Squire Loggins was a 
 man who said but little, but that little was al 
 ways delivered with the most imposing solemnity 
 of look and cadence. He always wore the aspect 
 of profound thought, and you could not look at 
 him without coming to the conclusion that he 
 was elaborating truth from its most intricate 
 combinations. 
 
THE FIGHT 73 
 
 " Uncle Tommy," said Sam Reynolds, "you 
 can tell us all about it if you will ; how will the 
 fight go ?" 
 
 The question immediately drew an anxious 
 group around the squire. He raised his teeth 
 slowly from the head of his walking-cane, on 
 which they had been resting, pressed his lips 
 closely and thoughtfully together, threw down 
 his eyebrows, dropped his chin, raised his eyes 
 to an angle of twenty-three degrees, paused about 
 half a minute, and replied, "Sammy, watch Rob 
 ert Durham close in the beginning of the fight, 
 take care of William Stallions in the middle of 
 it, and see who has the wind at the end." As 
 he uttered the last member of the sentence he 
 looked slyly at Bob s friends and winked very 
 significantly ; whereupon they rushed, with one 
 accord, to tell Bob what Uncle Tommy had said. 
 As they retired, the squire turned to Billy s 
 friends and said, with a smile, (t Them boys 
 think I mean that Bob will whip." 
 
 Here the other party kindled into joy, and 
 hastened to inform Billy how Bob s friends had 
 deceived themselves as to Uncle Tommy s opin 
 ion. In the meantime the principals and seconds 
 were busily employed in preparing themselves for 
 the combat. The plan of attack and defence, 
 the manner of improving the various turns of 
 the conflict, " the best mode of saving wind," etc., 
 etc., were all discussed and settled. At length 
 Billy announced himself ready, and his crowd 
 were seen moving to the centre of the Court 
 house Square, he and his five seconds in the rear. 
 
74 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 At the same time Bob s party moved to the same 
 point, and in the same order. The ring was now 
 formed, and for a moment the silence of death 
 reigned through both battalions. It was soon 
 interrupted, however, by the cry of " Clear the 
 way !" from Billy s seconds, when the ring open 
 ed in the centre of the upper battalion (for the 
 order of march had arranged the centre of the 
 two battalions on opposite sides of the circle), 
 and Billy stepped into the ring from the east, 
 followed by his friends. He was stripped to the 
 trousers, and exhibited an arm, breast, and shoul 
 ders of the most tremendous portent. His step 
 was firm, daring, and martial ; and as he bore his 
 fine form a little in advance of his friends an in 
 voluntary burst of triumph broke from his side 
 of the ring, and at the same moment an uncon 
 trollable thrill of awe ran along the whole curve 
 of the lower battalion. 
 
 "Look at him !" was heard from his friends ; 
 "just look at him!" 
 
 "Ben, how much you ask to stand before that 
 man two seconds ?" 
 
 "Pshaw, don t talk about it! Just thinkin 
 about it s broke three o my ribs a ready \" 
 
 "What s Bob Durham going to do when Billy 
 lets that arm loose upon him ?" 
 
 " God bless your soul, he ll think thunder and 
 lightning a mint-julep to it!" 
 
 "Oh, look here, men, go take Bill Stallions out 
 o that ring, and bring in Phil Johnson s stud 
 horse, so that Durham may have some chance ! I 
 don t want to see the man killed right away." 
 
THE FIGHT 75 
 
 These and many other like expressions, in 
 terspersed thickly with oaths of the most mod 
 ern coinage., were coming from all points of the 
 upper battalion, while Bob was adjusting the 
 girth of his pantaloons, which walking had dis 
 covered not to be exactly right. It was just 
 fixed to his mind, his foes becoming a little 
 noisy, and his friends a little uneasy at his de 
 lay, when Billy called out, with a smile of some 
 meaning, "Where s the bully of the lower bat 
 talion ? Fm getting tired of waiting." 
 
 "Here he is!" said Bob, lighting as it seemed 
 from the clouds into the ring, for he had act 
 ually bounded clear of the head of Ransy Sniffle 
 into the circle. His descent was quite as im 
 posing as Billy s entry, and excited the same 
 feelings, but in opposite bosoms. 
 
 Voices of exultation now rose on his side. 
 
 " Where did he come from ?" 
 
 "Why/ said one of his seconds (all having 
 just entered), "we were girting him up, about 
 a hundred yards out yonder, when he heard 
 Billy ask for the bully, and he fetched a leap 
 over the court-house and went out of sight; 
 but I told them to come on, they d find him 
 here." 
 
 Here the lower battalion burst into a peal of 
 laughter, mingled with a look of admiration 
 which seemed to denote their entire belief of 
 what they had heard. 
 
 " Boys, widen the ring, so as to give him 
 room to jump." 
 
 "Oh, my little flying wild -cat, hold him if 
 
76 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 you can ! and, when you get him fast, hold 
 lightning next \" 
 
 "Ned, what do you think he s made of ?" 
 
 "Steel springs and chicken-hawk, God bless 
 you !" 
 
 " Gentlemen/ 7 said one of Bob s seconds, " I 
 understand it is to be a fair fight catch as 
 catch can, rough and tumble : no man touch till 
 one or the other halloos." 
 
 " That s the rule," was the reply from the 
 other side. 
 
 " Are you ready ?" 
 
 "We are ready." 
 
 "Then blaze away, my game-cocks !" 
 
 At the word, Bob dashed at his antagonist at 
 full speed, and Bill squared himself to receive 
 him with one of his most fatal blows. Making 
 his calculation from Bob s velocity of the time 
 when he would come within striking distance, 
 he let drive with tremendous force. But Bob s 
 onset was obviously planned to avoid this blow ; 
 for, contrary to all expectations, he stopped 
 short just out of arm s reach, and before Billy 
 could recover his balance Bob had him " all 
 under-hold." The next second, sure enough, 
 "found Billy s head where his feet ought to be." 
 How it was done no one could tell ; but, as if by 
 supernatural power, both Billy s feet were thrown 
 full half his own height in the air, and he came 
 down with a force that seemed to shake the 
 earth. As he struck the ground, commingled 
 shouts, screams, and yells burst from the lower 
 battalion, loud enough to be heard for miles. 
 
THE FIGHT 77 
 
 "Hurrah, my little hornet!" "Save him!" 
 "Feed him I" "Give him the Durham physic 
 till his stomach turns !" Billy was no sooner 
 down than Bob was on him, and lending him 
 awful blows about the face and breast. Billy 
 made two efforts to rise by main strength,, but 
 failed. " Lord bless you, man, don t try to 
 get up ! Lay still and take it ! You Ueege to 
 have it I" 
 
 Billy now turned his face suddenly to the 
 ground, and rose upon his hands and knees. 
 Bob jerked up both his hands and threw him on 
 his face. He again recovered his late position, of 
 which Bob endeavored to deprive him as before ; 
 but, missing one arm, he failed, and Billy rose. 
 But he had scarcely resumed his feet before they 
 flew up as before, and he came again to the 
 ground. " No fight, gentlemen !" cried Bob s 
 friends; "the man can t stand up! Bouncing 
 feet are bad things to fight in." His fall, how 
 ever, was this time comparatively light ; for, 
 having thrown his right arm round Bob s neck, 
 he carried his head down with him. This grasp, 
 which was obstinately maintained, prevented Bob 
 from getting on him, and they lay head to head, 
 seeming, for a time, to do nothing. Presently 
 they rose, as if by mutual consent ; and as they 
 rose a shout burst from both battalions. " Oh, 
 my lark !" cried the east, "has he foxed you ? 
 Do you begin to feel him ! He s only beginning 
 to fight ; he ain t got warm yet." 
 
 " Look yonder !" cried the west. " Didn t I tell 
 you so ? He hit the ground so hard it jarred his 
 
78 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 nose off. Now ain t he a pretty man as he stands ? 
 He shall have my sister Sal, just for his pretty 
 looks. I want to get in the breed of them sort 
 o men, to drive ugly out of my kinfolks." 
 
 I looked, and saw that Bob had entirely lost 
 his left ear and a large piece from his left cheek. 
 His right eye was a little discolored, and the 
 blood flowed profusely from his wounds. 
 
 Bill presented a hideous spectacle. About a 
 third of his nose, at the lower extremity, was bit 
 off, and his face so swelled and bruised that it 
 was difficult to discover in it anything of the hu 
 man visage, much more the fine features which 
 he carried into the ring. 
 
 They were up only long enough for me to 
 make the foregoing discoveries, when down they 
 went again, precisely as before. They no sooner 
 touched the ground than Bill relinquished his 
 hold upon Bob s neck. In this he seemed to all 
 to have forfeited the only advantage which put 
 him upon an equality with his adversary. But 
 the movement was soon explained. Bill wanted 
 this arm for other purposes than defence ; and he 
 had made arrangements whereby he knew that 
 he could make it answer these purposes ; for 
 when they rose again he had the middle finger 
 of Bob s left hand in his mouth. He was now 
 secure from Bob s annoying trips ; and he began 
 to lend his adversary tremendous blows, every 
 one of which was hailed by a shout from his 
 friends: "Bullets!" "#bss-kicking !" "Thun 
 der!" "That ll do for his face; noAv feel his 
 short ribs, Billy !" 
 
THE FIGHT 79 
 
 I now considered the contest settled. I deem 
 ed it impossible for any human being to with 
 stand for five seconds the loss of blood which 
 issued from Bob s ear, cheek, nose, and finger, 
 accompanied with such blows as he was receiv 
 ing. Still he maintained the conflict, and gave 
 blow for blow with considerable effect. But the 
 blows of each became slower and weaker after 
 the first three or four ; and it became obvious 
 that Bill wanted the room which BoVs finger 
 occupied for breathing. He would therefore, 
 probably, in a short time, have let it go, had not 
 Bob anticipated his politeness by jerking away 
 his hand and making him a present of the finger. 
 He now seized Bill again, and brought him to his 
 knees, but he recovered. He again brought him 
 to his knees, and he again recovered. A third 
 effort, however, brought him down, and Bob on 
 top of him. These efforts seemed to exhaust the 
 little remaining strength of both ; and they lay, 
 Bill undermost and Bob across his breast, mo 
 tionless and panting for breath. After a short 
 pause Bob gathered his hand full of dirt and 
 sand and was in the act of grinding it in his 
 adversary s eyes when Bill cried, " Enough I" 
 Language cannot describe the scene that follow 
 ed the shouts, oaths, frantic gestures, taunts, 
 replies, and little fights and therefore I shall 
 not attempt it. The champions were borne off by 
 their seconds and washed ; when many a bleed 
 ing wound and ugly bruise was discovered on 
 each which no eye had seen before. 
 
 Many had gathered round Bob, and were in 
 
80 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 various ways congratulating and applauding him, 
 when a voice from the centre of the circle cried 
 out, " Boys, hush, and listen to me \" It pro 
 ceeded from Squire Loggins, who had made his 
 way to Bob s side, and had gathered his face up 
 into one of its most nattering and intelligible 
 expressions. All were obedient to the squire s 
 command. il Gentlemen/ continued he, with 
 a most knowing smile, "is Sammy Eeynold 
 in this company of gentlemen ?" 
 
 "Yes," said Sam, "here I am." 
 
 "Sammy," said the squire, winking to the 
 company and drawing the head of his cane to 
 his mouth with an arch smile as he closed, " I 
 wish you to tell Cousin Bobby and these 
 gentlemen here present what your Uncle 
 Tommy said before the fight began ?" 
 
 "Oh, get away, Uncle Tom," said Sam, smil 
 ing (the squire winked), "you don t know noth 
 ing about fighting." (The squire winked again.) 
 "All you know about it is how it ll begin, how 
 it ll go on, how it ll end ; that s all. Cousin 
 Bob, when you going to fight again, just go to 
 the old man, and let him tell you all about it. 
 If he can t, don t ask nobody else nothing about 
 it, I tell you." 
 
 The squire s foresight was complimented in 
 many ways by the by-standers ; and he retired, 
 advising "the boys to be at peace, as fighting 
 was a bad business." 
 
 Durham and Stallings kept their beds for 
 several weeks, and did not meet again for two 
 months. When they met, Billy stepped up to 
 
THE FIGHT 81 
 
 Bob and offered his hand, saying, " Bobby, 
 you ve licked me a fair fight ; but you wouldn t 
 have done it if I hadn t been in the wrong. I 
 oughtn t to have treated your wife as I did ; and 
 I felt so through the whole fight ; and it sort o 
 cowed me." 
 
 " Well, Billy," said Bob, "let s be friends. 
 Once in the fight, when you had my finger in 
 your mouth, and was pealing me in the face and 
 breast, I was going to halloo ; but I thought of 
 Petsy, and knew the house would be too hot for 
 me if I got whipped when fighting for her, after 
 always whipping when I fought for myself." 
 
 "Now that s what I always love to see," said 
 a by-stander. "It s true I brought about the 
 fight, but I wouldn t have done it if it hadn t a 
 been on account of Miss (Mrs.) Durham. But 
 clod etarnally darn my soul if I ever could stand 
 by and see any woman put upon, much less Miss 
 Durham ! If Bobby hadn t been there I d a* 
 took it up myself, be darned if I wouldn t, even 
 if I d a got whipped for it! But we re all friends 
 now." The reader need hardly be told that this 
 was Ransy Sniffle. 
 
 Thanks to the Christian religion, to schools, 
 colleges, and benevolent associations, such scenes 
 of barbarism and cruelty as that which I have 
 been just describing are now of rare occurrence, 
 though they may still be occasionally met with 
 in some of the new counties. Wherever they 
 prevail they are a disgrace to that community. 
 The peace - officers who countenance them de 
 serve a place in the penitentiary. 
 
 e HALL. 
 
THE SONG 
 
 IT is not to avoid the malediction of Shake 
 speare upon "the man that hath no music in 
 himself, nor is not mov d with concord of sweet 
 sounds," that I profess to be fond of music ; but 
 because I am, in truth, extravagantly fond of it. 
 But I am not fond of French music ; and as for 
 the Italian, I think that any one who will dare 
 to inflict it upon an American ear ought to be 
 sent to the penitentiary without a trial. It is 
 true that some of the simple national French 
 airs are very fine; but there is not one in a 
 thousand Italian tunes, simple or compound, 
 which is not manslaughter. The German com 
 positions are decidedly the best from the Con 
 tinent of Europe ; but even these are, of late, 
 partaking so much of the vices of France and 
 Italy that they have become scarcely sufferable. 
 As yet, however, they may be safely admitted 
 into a land of liberty and sense. Scotland has es 
 caped the corruptions which have crept into the 
 empire of music, and, consequently, her music 
 recommends itself, with irresistible charms, to 
 every ear which is not vitiated by the senseless 
 rattle of the Continent. Ireland is a little more 
 contaminated; but still her compositions retain 
 
THE SONG 83 
 
 enough of their primitive simplicity and sweet 
 ness to entitle them to the patronage of all who 
 would cultivate a correct taste in this interest 
 ing department of the fine arts. I would not 
 be understood as speaking here without any lim 
 itations or restrictions ; but I do maintain that, 
 with some few exceptions, all of the soul of music 
 which is now left in the world is to be found in 
 Scotland or Ireland. 
 
 But Germans, Frenchmen, and Italians are 
 decidedly the best that is, the most expert per 
 formers in the world. They perform all over 
 the world, and, in order to exhibit themselves 
 to the best advantage, they select the most dif 
 ficult and complicated pieces. The people at 
 large presume that the best performers must be 
 the best judges of music, and must make the 
 best selections ; they therefore forego the trouble 
 of forming an opinion of their own, and pin 
 their faith upon the decisions, or rather the 
 practice, of the amateurs. It was somehow in 
 this way, I presume, that the fashionable music of 
 the day first obtained currency. Having become 
 prevalent, it has become tolerable ; just as has 
 the use of tobacco or ardent spirits. And, while 
 upon this head, I would earnestly recommend to 
 the friends of reform in our favored country to 
 establish an " Anti-mad-music Society," in or 
 der to suppress, if possible, the cruelties of our 
 modern musical entertainments. 
 
 If the instrumental music of France and Italy 
 be bad, their vocal music is, if possible, a thou 
 sand times worse. Neither the English nor the 
 
84 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 Georgia language furnishes me with a term ex 
 pressive of the horrors of a French or Italian 
 song as it is agonized forth by one of their pro 
 fessed singers. The law should make it justi 
 fiable homicide in any man to kill an Italian in 
 the very act of inflicting an il penseroso upon a 
 refined American ear. 
 
 And yet, with all the other European abomina 
 tions which have crept into our highly favored 
 country, the French and Italian style of singing 
 and playing has made its way hither ; and it is 
 not uncommon to hear our boarding - school 
 misses piping away, not merely in the style, but 
 in the very language, of these nations. This I 
 can bear very well if there happen to be a French 
 man or an Italian present, because I know that 
 he suffers more from the ivords than I do from 
 the music ; for I confess that upon such occa 
 sions I feel something of the savage malignity 
 which visits the sins of a nation upon any of its 
 citizens. But it most frequently happens that I 
 am put to the tortures of which I have been 
 speaking without this mitigation. It was thus 
 
 with me a few evenings ago at Mrs. B s 
 
 party. 
 
 Tea had been disposed of, and the nonsensical 
 chit-chat of such occasions had begun to flag, 
 when I invited Miss Mary Williams to the piano. 
 She rose promptly at my request, without any 
 affected airs, and with no other apology than 
 that "she felt some diffidence at playing in the 
 presence of Miss Crump." The piano was an ad 
 mirable one, and its tones were exquisitely fine. 
 
THE SONG 85 
 
 Mary seated herself at it, and, after a short but 
 beautiful prelude, she commenced one of Burns s 
 plaintive songs, to a tune which was new to me, 
 but which was obviously from the poet s own 
 land, and by one who felt the inspiration of his 
 verse. The composer and the poet were both 
 honored by the performer. Mary s voice was in 
 imitably fine. Her enunciation was clear and 
 distinct, with just emphasis enough to give the 
 verse its appropriate expression without inter 
 rupting the melody of the music, and her modu 
 lations were perfect. 
 
 She had closed, and was in the act of rising, 
 before I awoke from the delightful reverie into 
 which she had lulled me. I arrested her, how 
 ever, and insisted upon her proceeding ; when 
 she gave me one of Allan Ramsay s best, to meas 
 ure equally appropriate. This she followed with 
 TannahilFs " Gloomy Winter s now awa/ and was 
 again retiring, when my friend Hall observed, 
 "See, Miss Mary, you ve brought a tear to Mr. 
 Baldwin s eye, and you must not cease until you 
 chase it away with some lively air." My friend 
 was right. The touching pathos of Mary s voice, 
 conspiring with a train of reflections which the 
 song inspired, had really brought me to tears. I 
 thought of poor TannahilFs fate. He was the 
 victim of a bookseller s stupidity. With men of 
 taste and letters his fugitive pieces, particularly 
 his lyrics, had gained him a well-deserved repu 
 tation ; but he was not exempt from the common 
 lot of authors. He was attacked by the ignorant 
 and the invidious ; and, with the hopeless design 
 
86 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 of silencing these, he prepared a volume or more 
 of his poems with great care, and sent them to 
 a bookseller for publication. After the lapse of 
 several weeks they were returned without a com 
 pliment or an offer for them. The mortifica 
 tion and disappointment were too severe for his 
 reason. It deserted him, and soon after he was 
 found dead in a tunnel of the burn which had 
 been the scene of one of his earliest songs. Un 
 fortunately, in his madness he destroyed his fa 
 vorite works. 
 
 Such was the train of reflection from which 
 Mary was kind enough, at the request of my 
 friend, to relieve me by a lively Irish air. Had 
 it not been admirably selected, I could hardly 
 have borne the transition. But there was enough 
 of softening melody, mingled with the sprightli- 
 ness of the air, to lead me gently to a gayer mood, 
 in which she left me. 
 
 In the meantime most of the young ladies and 
 gentlemen had formed a circle round Miss Aure- 
 lia Emma Theodosia Augusta Crump, and were 
 earnestly engaged in pressing her to play. One 
 young lady even went so far as to drop on her 
 knees before her, and in this posture to beseech 
 "her dear Augusta just to play the delightful 
 overture of - ," something that sounded to me 
 like "Blaze in the frets." This petition was 
 urged with such a melting sweetness of voice, 
 such a bewitching leer at the gentlemen, and 
 such a theatric heave of the bosom, that it threw 
 the young gentlemen into transports. Hall was 
 rude enough to whisper in mine ear "that he 
 
THE SONG 87 
 
 thought it indelicate to expose an unmantled 
 bosom to a perpendicular view of a large compa 
 ny"; and he muttered something about "repub 
 lican simplicity," I knew not exactly what. But 
 I assured him the fair petitioner was so over 
 come by her solicitude for the overture that she 
 thought of nothing else, and was wholly uncon 
 scious that there was a gentleman in the room. 
 As to his insinuation about "points of view," I 
 convinced him by an easy argument that it was 
 wholly unfounded ; for that this was the very 
 point of view in which an exposed neck must 
 always be seen while men continue taller than 
 women ; and that, as the young lady must have 
 been apprised of this, she would hardly take so 
 much trouble for nothing. But to return. 
 
 Miss Crump was inexorable. She declared 
 that she was entirely out of practice. " She 
 scarcely ever touched the piano"; "Mamma 
 was always scolding her for giving so much of 
 her time to French and Italian, and neglecting 
 her music and painting ; but she told mamma 
 the other day that it really was so irksome to her 
 to quit Eacine and Dante and go to thrumming 
 upon the piano that, but for the obligations of 
 filial obedience, she did not think she should 
 ever touch it again." 
 
 Here Mrs. Crump was kind enough, by the 
 merest accident in the world, to interpose, and 
 to relieve the company from further anxiety. 
 
 "Augusta, my dear," said she, "go and play 
 a tune or two ; the company will excuse your 
 hoarseness." 
 
88 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 Miss Crump rose immediately at her mother s 
 bidding and moved to the piano, accompanied 
 by a large group of smiling faces. 
 
 " Poor child/ said Mrs. Crump as she went 
 forward, "she is frightened to death. I wish 
 Augusta could overcome her diffidence/ 
 
 Miss Crump was educated at Philadelphia ; 
 she had been taught to sing by Madame Piggi- 
 squeaki, who was a pupil of Ma m selle Croki- 
 froggietta, who had sung with Madame Catala- 
 ni ; and she had taken lessons on the piano from 
 Signor Buzzifussi, who had played with Paga- 
 nini. 
 
 She seated herself at the piano, rocked to the 
 right, then to the left, leaned forward, then 
 backward, and began. She placed her right 
 hand about midway the keys, and her left about 
 two octaves below it. She now put off to the 
 right in a brisk canter up the treble notes, and 
 the left after it. The left then led the way 
 back, and the right pursued it in like manner. 
 The right turned, and repeated its first move 
 ment ; but the left outran it this time, hopped 
 over it, and flung it entirely off the track. It 
 came in again, however, behind the left on its 
 return, and passed it in the same style. They 
 now became highly incensed at each other, and 
 met furiously on the middle ground. Here a 
 most awful conflict ensued for about the space 
 of ten seconds, when the right whipped off all 
 of a sudden, as I thought, fairly vanquished. 
 But I was in the error against which Jack Ran 
 dolph cautions us: "It had only fallen back 
 
THE SONG 
 
 to a stronger position." It mounted upon two 
 black keys, and commenced the note of a rattle 
 snake. This had a wonderful effect upon the 
 left, and placed the doctrine of " snake-charm 
 ing "beyond dispute. The left rushed furious 
 ly towards it repeatedly, but seemed invariably 
 panic-struck when it came within six keys of it, 
 and as invariably retired with a tremendous 
 roaring down the bass keys. It continued its 
 assaults, sometimes by the way of the naturals, 
 sometimes by the way of the sharps, and some 
 times by a zigzag through both ; but all its at 
 tempts to dislodge the right from its stronghold 
 proving ineffectual, it came close up to its ad 
 versary and expired. 
 
 Any one, or rather no one, can imagine what 
 kind of noises the piano gave forth during the 
 conflict. Certain it is no one can describe 
 them, and, therefore, I shall not attempt it. 
 
 The battle ended, Miss Augusta moved as 
 though she would have arisen, but this was 
 protested against by a number of voices at once : 
 "One song, my dear Aurelia," said Miss Small ; 
 " you must sing that sweet little French air you 
 used to sing in Philadelphia, and which Madame 
 Piggisqueaki was so fond of." 
 
 Miss Augusta looked pitifully at her mamma, 
 and her mamma looked "sing" at Miss Augusta; 
 accordingly, she squared herself for a song. 
 
 She brought her hands to the campus this 
 time in fine style, and they seemed now to be 
 perfectly reconciled to each other. They com 
 menced a kind of colloquy ; the right whisper- 
 
90 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 ing treble very softly, and the left responding 
 bass very loudly. The conference had been kept 
 np until I began to desire a change of the sub 
 ject, when my ear caught, indistinctly, some 
 verv curious sounds, which appeared to proceed 
 from the lips of Miss Augusta : they seemed to 
 be compounded of a dry cough, a grunt, a hic 
 cough, and a whisper ; and they were introduced, 
 it appeared to me, as interpreters between the 
 right and left. Things progressed in this way 
 for about the space of fifteen seconds, when 1 
 happened to direct my attention to Mr. Jenkins 
 from Philadelphia. His eyes were closed, his 
 head rolled gracefully from side to side ; a beam 
 of heavenly complacency rested upon his coun 
 tenance ; and his whole man gave irresistible 
 demonstration that Miss Crump s music made 
 him feel good all over. I had just turned 
 from the contemplation of Mr. Jenkins s trans 
 ports, to see whether I could extract from the 
 performance anything intelligible, when Miss 
 Crump made a fly-catching grab at half a dozen 
 keys in a row, and at the same instant she 
 fetched a long, dunghill-cock crow, at the con 
 clusion of which she grabbed as many keys 
 with the left. This came over Jenkins like a 
 warm bath, and over me like a rake of bamboo 
 briers. 
 
 My nerves had not recovered from this shock 
 before Miss Augusta repeated the movement, and 
 accompanied it with a squall of a pinched cat. 
 This threw me into an ague fit ; but, from respect 
 to the performer, I maintained my position. She 
 
THE SONG 91 
 
 now made a third grasp with the right, boxed 
 the faces of six keys in a row with the left,, and 
 at the same time raised one of the most unearth 
 ly howls that ever issued from the throat of a hu 
 man being. This seemed the signal for universal 
 uproar and destruction. She now threw away 
 all reserve, and charged the piano with her whole 
 force. She boxed it, she clawed it, she raked it, 
 she scraped it. Her neck-vein swelled, her chin 
 flew up, her face flushed, her eye glared, her 
 bosom heaved ; she screamed, she howled, she 
 yelled, cackled, and was in the act of dwelling 
 upon the note of a screech-owl, when I took the 
 St. Vitus s dance and rushed out of the room. 
 "Good Lord/ said a by-stander, "if this be her 
 xinging, what must her crying be !" As I reached 
 the door I heard a voice exclaim, "By heavens ! 
 she s the most enchanting performer I ever heard 
 in my life !" I turned to see who was the author 
 of this ill-timed compliment, and who should it 
 be but Nick Truck, from Lincoln, who seven 
 years before was dancing " Possum up the Gum- 
 tree" in the chimney-corner of his fathers kitch 
 en. Nick had entered the counting-room of a 
 merchant in Charleston some five or six years 
 before, had been sent out as supercargo of 
 a vessel to Bordeaux, and, while the vessel was 
 delivering one cargo and taking in another, 
 had contracted a wonderful relish for French 
 music. 
 
 As for myself, 1 went home in convulsions, 
 took sixty drops of laudanum, and fell asleep. 
 I dreamed that I was in a beautiful city, the 
 
92 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 streets of which intersected each other at right 
 angles ; that the birds of the air and the beasts 
 of the forest had gathered there for battle the 
 former led on by a Frenchman, the latter by an 
 Italian ; that I was looking on their movements 
 towards each other, when I heard the cry of " Hec 
 ate is coming !" I turned my eye to the north 
 east, and saw a female flying through the air 
 towards the city, and distinctly recognized in her 
 the features of Miss Crump. I took the alarm 
 and was making my escape when she gave com 
 mand for the beasts and birds to fall on me. 
 They did so, and, with all the noises of the ani 
 mal world, were in the act of tearing me to pieces 
 when I was waked by the stepping of Hall, my 
 room-mate, into bed. 
 
 "Oh, my dear sir," exclaimed I, "you have 
 waked me from a horrible dream ! What o clock 
 is it ?" 
 
 " Ten minutes after twelve," said he. 
 
 "And where have you been to this late 
 hour ?" 
 
 "I have just returned from the party." 
 
 "And what kept you so late ?" 
 
 "Why, I disliked to retire while Miss Crump 
 was playing." 
 
 "In mercy s name!" said I, "is she playing 
 yet ?" 
 
 "Yes," said he ; "I had to leave her playing 
 at last." 
 
 " And where was Jenkins ?" 
 
 "He was there, still in ecstasies, and urging 
 her to play on." 
 
THE SONG 93 
 
 " And where was Truck ?" 
 
 "He was asleep." 
 
 "And what was she playing ?" 
 
 "An Italian" 
 
 Here I swooned, and heard no more. 
 
 BALDWIN. 
 
THE TURNOUT 
 
 IN" the good old days of fescues, abisselfas, and 
 anpersants,* terms which used to be familiar in 
 this country during the Revolutionary War, and 
 which lingered in some of our country schools 
 for a few years afterwards, I visited my friend 
 Captain Griffen, who resided about seven miles 
 to the eastward of Wrightsborough, then in Rich 
 mond, but now in Columbia, County. I reached 
 the captain s hospitable dome on Easter, and was 
 received by him and his good lady with a Georgia 
 welcome of 1790. It was warm from the heart, 
 and taught me in a moment that the obligations 
 of the visit were upon their side, not mine. Such 
 receptions were not peculiar at that time to 
 
 * The fescue was a sharpened wire or other instrument 
 used by the preceptor to point out the letters to the chil 
 dren. 
 
 Abisselfa is a contraction of the words "a by itself, a." 
 It was usual, when either of the vowels constituted a syl 
 lable of a word, to pronounce it, and denote its indepen 
 dent character by the words just mentioned, thus : " a by 
 itself, -c-o-r-n corn, acorn," "e by itself, e-v-i-1, evil," etc. 
 
 The character which stands for the word "and" (&) 
 was probably pronounced by the same accompaniment, 
 but in terms borrowed from the Latin language, thus : 
 " & per se" (by itself) &. Hence " anpersant." 
 
THE TURNOUT 95 
 
 the captain and bis family ; they were common 
 throughout the State. Where are they now ? and 
 where the generous hospitalities which invariably 
 followed them ? I see them occasionally at the 
 contented farmer s door and at his festive board, 
 but when they shall have taken leave of these 
 Georgia will know them 110 more. 
 
 The day was consumed in the interchange of 
 news between the captain and myself (though, I 
 confess, it might have been better employed), and 
 the night found us seated round a temporary fire, 
 which the captain s sons had kindled up for the 
 purpose of dyeing eggs. It was a common custom 
 of those days with boys to dye and peck eggs on 
 Easter Sunday and for a few days afterwards. 
 They were colored according to the fancy of the 
 dyer some yellow, some green, some purple, and 
 some with a variety of colors borrowed from a 
 piece of calico. They Avere not nnfrequently 
 beautified with a taste and skill which would 
 have extorted a compliment from Ilezekiah Niles 
 if he had seen them a year ago in the hands of 
 the "young operatives " in some of the Northern 
 manufactories. No sooner was the work of dying 
 finished than our "young operatives" sallied 
 forth to stake the whole proceeds of their "do 
 mestic industry" upon a peck. Egg was struck 
 against egg, point to point, and the egg that was 
 broken was given up as lost to the owner of the 
 one which came whole from the shock. 
 
 While the boys were busily employed in the 
 manner just mentioned, the captain s youngest 
 son, George, gave us an anecdote highly descrip- 
 
96 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 tive of the Yankee and Georgia character, even 
 in their buddings and at this early date. "What 
 you think, pa," said he, "Zeph Pettibone went 
 and got his uncle Zach to turn him a wooden 
 egg, and he won a whole hatful o eggs from all 
 us boys fore we found it out ; but when we 
 found it out maybe John Brown didn t smoke 
 him for it, and took away all his eggs, and give 
 em back to us boys ; and you think he didn t go 
 then and git a guinea-egg, and win most as many 
 more, and John Brown would o give it to him 
 agin if all we boys hadn t said we thought it was 
 fair. I never see such a boy as that Zepli Petti- 
 bone in all my life. He don t mind whipping no 
 more an nothing at all, if he can win eggs." 
 
 This anecdote, however, only fell in by acci 
 dent, for there was an all-absorbing subject which 
 occupied the minds of the boys during the whole 
 evening, of which I could occasionally catch dis 
 tant hints in undertones and whispers, but of 
 which I could make nothing, until they were af 
 terwards explained by the captain himself such 
 as, "I ll be bound Pete Jones and Bill Smith 
 stretches him"; " By Jockey, soon as they seize 
 him, you ll see me down upon him like a duck 
 upon a June-bug"; "By the time he touches 
 the ground he ll think he s got into a hornet s 
 nest," etc. 
 
 " The boys," said the captain, as they retired, 
 "are going to turn out the schoolmaster to 
 morrow, and you can perceive they think of 
 nothing else. We must go over to the school- 
 house and witness the contest, in order to pre- 
 
THE TURNOUT 97 
 
 vent injury to preceptor or pupils ; for though 
 the master is always upon such occasions glad 
 to be turned out, and only struggles long enough 
 to present his patrons a fair apology for giving 
 the children a holiday,, which he desires as much 
 as they do, the boys always conceive a holiday 
 gained by a "turnout" as the sole achievement 
 of their valor ; and, in their zeal to distinguish 
 themselves upon such memorable occasions, 
 they sometimes become too rough, provoke the 
 master to wrath, and a very serious conflict 
 ensues. To prevent these consequences, to bear 
 witness that the master was forced to yield be 
 fore he would withhold a day of his promised 
 labor from his employers, and to act as a media 
 tor between him and the boys in settling the ar 
 ticles of peace, I always attend ; and you must 
 accompany me to-morrow/ I cheerfully prom 
 ised to do so. 
 
 The captain and I rose before the sun, but the 
 boys had risen and were off to the school-house 
 before the dawn. After an early breakfast, hur 
 ried by Mrs. Gr. for our accommodation, my host 
 and myself took up our line of march towards 
 the school-house. We reached it about half an 
 hour before the master arrived, but not before 
 the boys had completed its fortifications. It 
 was a simple log-pen, about twenty feet square, 
 with a doorway cut out of the logs, to which 
 was fitted a rude door made of clapboards and 
 swung on wooden hinges. The roof was covered 
 with clapboards also, and retained in their places 
 by heavy logs placed on them. The chimney 
 
98 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 was built of logs, diminishing in size from the 
 ground to the top, and overspread inside and 
 out with red clay mortar. The classic hut oc 
 cupied a lovely spot, overshadowed by majestic 
 hickories, towering poplars, and strong - armed 
 oaks. The little plain on which it stood was 
 terminated, at the distance of about fifty paces 
 from its door, by the brow of a hill, which de 
 scended rather abruptly to a noble spring, that 
 gushed joyously forth from among the roots of a 
 stately beech at its foot. The stream from this 
 fountain scarcely burst into view before it hid 
 itself beneath the dark shade of a field of cane, 
 which overspread the dale through which it 
 flowed, and marked its windings, until it turned 
 from the sight among vine-covered hills, at a 
 distance far beyond that to which the eye could 
 have traced it without the help of its evergreen 
 belt. A remark of the captain s, as we viewed 
 the lovely country around us, will give the 
 reader my apology for the minuteness of the 
 foregoing description. " These lands/ 7 said he, 
 "will never wear out. Where they lie level, they 
 will be as good fifty years hence as they are now/ 
 Forty-two years afterwards I visited the spot on 
 which he stood when he made the remark. The 
 sun poured his whole strength upon the bald hill 
 which once supported the sequestered school- 
 house ; many a deep-washed gully met at a 
 sickly bog where gushed the limpid fountain ; a 
 dying willow rose from the soil which nourished 
 the venerable beech ; flocks wandered among 
 the dwarf pines, and cropped a scanty meal from 
 
THE TURNOUT 99 
 
 the vale where the rich cane bowed and rustled 
 to every breeze, and all around was barren, 
 dreary, and cheerless. But to return. 
 
 As 1 before remarked, the boys had strongly 
 fortified the school-house, of which they had 
 taken possession. The door was barricaded with 
 logs, which I should have supposed would have 
 defied the combined powers of the whole school. 
 The chimney, too, was nearly filled with logs of 
 goodly size ; and these were the only passways to 
 the interior. I concluded, if a "turnout" was all 
 that was necessary to decide the contest in favor 
 of the boys, they had already gained the victory. 
 They had, however, not as much confidence in 
 their outworks as I had, and, therefore, had 
 armed themselves with long sticks ; not for the 
 purpose of using them upon the master if the 
 battle should come to close quarters, for this 
 was considered unlawful warfare ; but for the 
 purpose of guarding their works from his ap 
 proaches, which it was considered perfectly law 
 ful to protect by all manner of jobs and punches 
 through the cracks. From the early assembling 
 of the girls, it was very obvious that they had 
 been let into the conspiracy, though they took 
 no part in the active operations. They would, 
 however, occasionally drop a word of encourage 
 ment to the boys, such as "I wouldn t turn out 
 the master ; but if I did turn him out, I d die be 
 fore I d give up." These remarks doubtless had 
 an emboldening effect upon "the young free- 
 borns," as Mrs. Trollope would call them ; for I 
 never knew the Georgian of any age who was in- 
 
100 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 different to the smiles and praises of the ladies 
 before his marriage. 
 
 At length Mr. Michael St. John, the school 
 master, made his appearance. Though some of 
 the girls had met him a quarter of a mile from 
 the school-house and told him all that had hap 
 pened, he gave signs of sudden astonishment 
 and indignation when he advanced to the door 
 and was assailed by a whole platoon of sticks 
 from the cracks. "Why, what does all this 
 mean ?" said he, as he approached the captain 
 and myself, with a countenance of two or three 
 varying expressions. 
 
 " Why/ said the captain, " the boys have turn 
 ed you out because you have refused to give them 
 an Easter holiday." 
 
 "Oh," returned Michael, "that s it, is it? 
 Well, I ll see whether their parents are to pay me 
 for letting their children play when they please." 
 So saying, he advanced to the school-house and 
 demanded in a lofty tone of its inmates an un 
 conditional surrender. 
 
 "Well, give us holiday then," said twenty lit 
 tle urchins within, "and we ll let you in." 
 
 "Open the door of the academy" -Michael 
 would allow nobody to call it a school-house 
 " Open the door of the academy this instant," 
 said Michael, " or I ll break it down." 
 
 " Break it down," said Pete Jones and Bill 
 Smith, "and we ll break you down." 
 
 During this colloquy I took a peep into the 
 fortress to see how the garrison was affected by 
 the parley. The little ones were obviously panic- 
 
THE TURNOUT 101 
 
 struck at the first words of command ; but their 
 fears were all chased away ;b;7 the bold,, deter 
 mined reply of Pete Jones and Bill Smith/ and 
 they raised a whoop of defiance. 
 
 Michael now walked ro and the academy three 
 times, examining all its weak points with great 
 care. He then paused, reflected for a moment, 
 and wheeled off suddenly towards the woods, as 
 though a bright thought had just struck him. 
 He passed twenty things which I supposed he 
 might be in quest of such as huge stones, fence- 
 rails, portable logs, and the like without be 
 stowing the least attention upon them. He 
 went to one old log, searched it thoroughly; then 
 to another ; then to a hollow stump, peeped 
 into it with great care ; then to a hollow log, 
 into which he looked with equal caution, and 
 so on. 
 
 "What is he after ?" inquired I. 
 
 "Fm sure I don t know/ said the captain, 
 "but the boys do. Don t you notice the breath 
 less silence which prevails in the school-house, 
 and the intense anxiety with which they are eying 
 him through the cracks ?" 
 
 At this moment Michael had reached a little 
 excavation at the root of a dogwood, and was in 
 the act of putting his hand into it when a voice 
 from the garrison exclaimed, with most touching 
 pathos, " Lo d o messy, he s found my eggs ! 
 Boys, let s give up !" 
 
 "I won t give up/ was the reply from many 
 voices at once. 
 
 "Rot your cowardly skin, Zeph Pettibone, you 
 
102 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 wouldn t give a wooden egg for all the holidays 
 in the world !"* : *\ 
 
 If these replied did not reconcile Zephaniah to 
 &is*ajipreheD4 efdlo8S^.t at least silenced his com- 
 plaihtsY In the tnekntinie Michael was employed 
 in relieving Zeph s storehouse of its provisions ; 
 and, truly, its contents told well for Zeph s skill 
 in egg-pecking. However, Michael took out the 
 eggs with great care, and brought them within a 
 few paces of the school-house, and laid them 
 down with equal care in full view of the besieged. 
 He revisited the places which he had searched, 
 and to which he seemed to have been led by in 
 tuition ; for from nearly all of them did he draw 
 eggs in greater or less numbers. These he treat 
 ed as he had done Zeph s, keeping each pile sep 
 arate. Having arranged the eggs in double files 
 before the door, he marched between them with 
 an air of triumph, and once more demanded a 
 surrender, under pain of an entire destruction 
 of the garrison s provisions. 
 
 " Break em just as quick as you please," said 
 George Grilfen ; our mothers 11 give us a 
 plenty more, won t they, pa?" 
 
 "I can answer for yours, my son," said the 
 captain; "she would rather give up every egg 
 upon the farm than see you play the coward or 
 traitor to save your property." 
 
 Michael, finding that he could make no im 
 pression upon the fears or the avarice of the 
 boys, determined to carry their fortifications by 
 storm. Accordingly, he procured a heavy fence- 
 rail and commenced the assault upon the door. 
 
g m 
 
104 GEOKGIA SCENES 
 
 It soon came to pieces, and the upper logs fell out, 
 leaving a space of about three feet at the top. 
 Michael boldly entered the breach, when, by the 
 articles of war, sticks were thrown aside as no 
 longer lawful weapons. He was resolutely met 
 on the half-demolished rampart by Peter Jones 
 and William Smith, supported by James Griffon. 
 These were the three largest boys in the school 
 the first about sixteen years of age, the second 
 about fifteen, and the third just eleven. Twice 
 was Michael repulsed by these young champions ; 
 but the third effort carried him fairly into the 
 fortress. Hostilities now ceased for a while, and 
 the captain and I, having levelled the remain 
 ing logs at the door, followed Michael into the 
 house. A large three -inch plank (if it deserve 
 that name, for it was wrought from the half of a 
 tree s trunk entirely with the axe), attached to 
 the logs by means of wooden pins, served the 
 whole school for a writing-desk. At a con 
 venient distance below it, and on a line with it, 
 stretched a smooth log, resting upon the logs of 
 the house, which answered for the writers seat. 
 Michael took his seat upon the desk, placed his 
 feet on the seat, and was sitting very composed 
 ly, when, with a simultaneous movement, Pete 
 and Bill seized each a leg, and marched off with 
 it in quick time. The consequence is obvious ; 
 Michael s head first took the desk, then the seat, 
 and finally the ground (for the house was not 
 floored), with three sonorous thumps of most 
 doleful portent. No sooner did he touch the 
 ground than he was completely buried with boys. 
 
THE TURNOUT 105 
 
 The three elder laid themselves across his head, 
 neck, and breast, the rest arranging themselves 
 ad libitum. Michael s equanimity was consider 
 ably disturbed by the first thump, became restive 
 with the second, and took flight with the third. 
 His first effort was to disengage his legs, for 
 without them he could not rise, and to lie in 
 his present position was extremely inconvenient 
 and undignified. Accordingly, he drew up his 
 right, and kicked at random. This movement 
 laid out about six in various directions upon the 
 floor. Two rose crying: " Ding his old red 
 headed skin/ said one of them, "to go and kick 
 me right in my sore belly, where I fell down and 
 raked it, running after that fellow that cried 
 school-butter !"* 
 
 " Drot his old snaggle-tooth picture," said the 
 other, "to go and hurt my sore toe, where I 
 knocked the nail off going to the spring to fetch 
 
 * I have never been able to satisfy myself clearly as to 
 the literal meaning of these terms. They were con 
 sidered an unpardonable insult to a country school, and 
 always justified an attack by the whole fraternity upon 
 the person who used them in their hearing. I have 
 known the scholars pursue a traveller two miles to be 
 revenged of the insult. Probably they are a corruption 
 of "The school s better." " Better" was the term com 
 monly used of old to denote a superior, as it sometimes is 
 in our day: "Wait till your betters are served," for ex 
 ample. I conjecture, therefore, the expression just al 
 luded to was one of challenge, contempt, and defiance, 
 by which the person who used it avowed himself the 
 superior in all respects of the whole school, from the pre 
 ceptor down. If any one can give a better account of it, 
 I shall be pleased to receive it. 
 
106 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 a gourd of warier for him, and not for myself 
 n other !" 
 
 "Hut!" said Captain Griffen, "young Wash- 
 ingtons mind these trifles ! At him again." 
 
 The name of Washington cured their wounds 
 and dried up their tears in an instant, and they 
 legged him de novo. The left leg treated six more 
 as unceremoniously as the right had those just 
 mentioned ; but the talismanic name had just 
 fallen upon their ears before the kick, so they 
 were invulnerable. They therefore returned to 
 the attack without loss of time. The struggle 
 seemed to wax hotter and hotter for a short time 
 after Michael came to the ground, and he threw 
 the children about in all directions and postures, 
 giving some of them thumps which would have 
 placed the ruffle-shirted little darlings of the pres 
 ent day under the discipline of paregoric and 
 opodeldoc for a week ; but these hardy sons of 
 the forest seemed not to feel them. As Michael s 
 head grew easy, his limbs, by a natural sympathy, 
 became more quiet, and he offered one day s hol 
 iday as the price. The boys demanded a week ; 
 but here the captain interposed, and, after the 
 common but often unjust custom of arbitrators, 
 split the difference. In this instance the terms 
 were equitable enough, and were immediately ac 
 ceded to by both parties. Michael rose in a good 
 humor, and the boys were, of course. Loud was 
 their talking of their deeds of valor as they re 
 tired. One little fellow about seven years old 
 and about three feet and a half high jumped up, 
 cracked his feet together, and exclaimed, " By 
 
THE TURNOUT 107 
 
 jingo, Pete Jones, Bill Smith, and me can hold 
 any tiinjin that ever trod Georgy grit." By-the- 
 way, the name 8t. John was always pronounced 
 " Sinjin" by the common people of that day; 
 and so it must have been by Lord Bolingbroke 
 himself, else his friend Pope would never have 
 addressed him in a line so unmusical as 
 
 "Awake, my St. John, leave all meaner things." 
 
 Nor would Swift, the friend and companion of 
 both, have written 
 
 "What St. John s skill in state affairs, 
 What Ormond s valor, Oxford s cares. 
 ***** 
 Where folly, pride, and faction sway, 
 Remote from St. John, Pope, and Gray." 
 
 HALL. 
 
THE "CHARMING CREATURE" AS A WIFE 
 
 MY nephew George Baldwin was but ten years 
 younger than myself. He was the son of a plain, 
 practical, sensible farmer,, who, without the ad 
 vantages of a liberal education, had enriched his 
 mind by study and observation with a fund of 
 useful knowledge rarely possessed by those who 
 move in his sphere of life. His wife was one of 
 the most lovely of women. She was pious, but 
 not austere ; cheerful, but not light ; generous, 
 but not prodigal ; economical, but not close ; hos 
 pitable, but not extravagant. In native powers 
 of mind she was every way my brother s equal ; 
 in acquirements she was decidedly his superior. 
 To this I have his testimony as Avell as my own ; 
 but it was impossible to discover in her conduct 
 anything going to show that she coincided with 
 us in opinion. To have heard her converse you 
 would have supposed she did nothing but read ; 
 to have looked through the departments of her 
 household you would have supposed she never 
 read. Everything which lay within her little 
 province bore the impress of her hand or ac 
 knowledged her supervision. Order, neatness, 
 and cleanliness prevailed everywhere. All pro 
 visions were given out with her own hands, and 
 
THE "CHARMING CREATURE " AS A WIFE 109 
 
 she could tell precisely the quantity of each arti 
 cle that it would require to serve a given number 
 of persons, without stint or wasteful profusion. 
 In the statistics of domestic economy she was 
 perfectly versed. She would tell you, with aston 
 ishing accuracy, how many pounds of cured ba 
 con you might expect from a given weight of 
 fresh pork ; how many quarts of cream a given 
 quantity of milk would yield ; how much butter 
 so much cream ; how much of each article it 
 would take to serve so many persons a month or 
 a year. Supposing no change in the family, and 
 she would tell to a day when a given quantity of 
 provisions of any kind would be exhausted. She 
 reduced to certain knowledge everything that 
 could be ; and she approximated to it as nearly 
 as possible with those matters that could not be. 
 And yet she scolded less and whipped less than 
 any mistress of a family I ever saw. The reason 
 is obvious. Everything under her care went on 
 with perfect system. To each servant were allot 
 ted his or her respective duties, and to each was 
 assigned the time in which those duties were to 
 be performed. During this time she suffered 
 them not to be interrupted, if it was possible to 
 protect them from interruption. Her children 
 were permitted to give no orders to servants but 
 through her, until they reached the age at which 
 they were capable of regulating their orders by 
 her rules. She laid no plans to detect her ser 
 vants in theft, but she took great pains to con 
 vince them that they could not pilfer without 
 detection ; and this did she without betraying 
 
110 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 any suspicions of their integrity. Thus she would 
 have her biscuits uniformly of a size, and, under 
 the form of instructions to her cook, she would 
 show her precisely the quantity of flour which it 
 took to make so many biscuits. After all this, 
 she exposed her servants to as few temptations as 
 possible. She never sent them to the larder un 
 attended, if she could avoid it, and never placed 
 them under the watch of children. She saw 
 that they were well provided with everything 
 they needed, and she indulged them in recrea 
 tions when she could. No service was required 
 of them on the Sabbath further than to spread 
 the table and to attend it ; a service which was 
 lightened as much as possible by having the pro 
 visions of that day very simple, and prepared the 
 day before. 
 
 Such, but half described, were the father and 
 mother of George Baldwin. He was their only 
 son and eldest child ; but he had two sisters, Mary 
 and Martha, the first four and the second six years 
 younger than himself a son next to George 
 having died in infancy. The two eldest children 
 inherited their names from their parents, and all 
 of them grew up worthy of the stock from which 
 they sprang. 
 
 George, having completed his education at 
 Princeton, where he was graduated with great 
 honor to himself, returned to Georgia and com 
 menced the study of the law. After studying a 
 year he was admitted to the bar, just after he 
 had completed his one-and-twentieth year. I 
 have been told by gentlemen who belong to this 
 
THE "CHARMING CREATURE" AS A WIPE 111 
 
 profession that one year is too short a time for 
 preparation for the intricacies of legal lore ; and 
 it may be so, but I never knew a young man 
 acquit himself more creditably than George did 
 in his maiden speech. 
 
 He located himself in the city of , seventy 
 
 miles from his father s residence ; and, after the 
 lapse of three years, he counted up eight hundred 
 dollars as the net profits of his last year s prac 
 tice. Reasonably calculating that his receipts 
 would annually increase for several years to 
 come, having no expenses to encounter except 
 for his board and clothing (for his father had 
 furnished him with a complete library), he now 
 thought of taking to himself a helpmate. Hith 
 erto he had led a very retired, studious life ; but 
 now he began to court the society of ladies. 
 
 About this time Miss Evelina Caroline Smith 
 returned to the city from Philadelphia, where, 
 after an absence of three years, she had com 
 pleted her education. She was the only child of 
 a wealthy, unlettered merchant, who, rather by 
 good luck than good management, had amassed 
 a fortune of about fifty thousand dollars. Mr. 
 Smith was one of those men who conceived that 
 all earthly greatness, and consequently all earth 
 ly bliss, concentred in wealth. The consequence 
 was inevitable. To the poor he was haughty, 
 supercilious, and arrogant, and, not unfrequent- 
 ly, wantonl} 7 insolent ; to the rich he was friendly, 
 kind, or obsequious, as their purses equalled or 
 overmeasured his own. His wife was even be 
 low himself in moral stature ; proud, loquacious, 
 
112 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 silly. Evelina was endowed by nature with a 
 good mind, and, what her parents esteemed of 
 infinitely more value, she was beautiful from her 
 infancy to the time when I introduced her to 
 the reader, which was just after she had com 
 pleted her seventeenth year. Evelina s time, be 
 tween her sixth and fourteenth year, had been 
 chiefly employed in learning from her father 
 and mother what a perfect beauty she was, and 
 what kind of gewgaws exhibited her beauty to the 
 greatest advantage, how rich she would be, and 
 "what havoc she would make of young men s 
 hearts by-and-by." In these instructive lectures 
 her parents sometimes found gratuitous help 
 from silly male and female visitors, who, purely 
 to win favor from the parents, would expatiate 
 on the perfection of "the lovely," "charming," 
 " beautiful little creature " in her presence. The 
 consequence was that pride and vanity became, at 
 an early age, the leading traits of the child s char 
 acter, and admiration and flattery the only food 
 which she could relish. Her parents subjected 
 themselves to the loss of her society for three 
 years, while she was at school in Philadelphia, 
 from no better motive than to put her on an 
 equality with Mr. B. s and Mr. C. s daughters ; 
 or, rather, to imitate the examples of Messrs. 
 B. & C., merchants of the same city, who were 
 very rich. 
 
 While she was in Philadelphia Evelina Avas 
 well instructed. She was taught in what female 
 loveliness truly consists, the qualities which de 
 servedly command the respect of the wise and 
 
THE "CHAKMING CREATURE" AS A WIFE 113 
 
 good, and the deportment which insures to a fe 
 male the admiration of all. But Evelina s mind 
 had received a bias from which these lessons could 
 not relieve it, and the only effect of them upon 
 her was to make her an accomplished hypocrite, 
 with all her other foibles. She improved her in 
 structions only to the gratification of her ruling 
 passion. In music she made some proficiency, 
 because she saw in it a ready means of gaining 
 admiration. 
 
 George Baldwin had formed a partial acquaint 
 ance with Mr. Smith before the return of his 
 daughter, but he rather shunned than courted a 
 closer intimacy. Smith, however, had intrusted 
 George with some professional business, found 
 him trustworthy, and thought he saw in him a 
 man who, at no very distant day, was to become 
 distinguished for both wealth and talents ; and, 
 upon a very short acquaintance, he took occasion 
 to tell him "that whoever married his daughter 
 should receive the next day a check for twenty 
 thousand dollars. That ll do," continued he, 
 " to start upon ; and when I and the old woman 
 drop off she will get thirty more." This had 
 an effect upon George directly opposite to that 
 which it was designed to have. 
 
 Miss Smith had been at home about three 
 weeks, and the whole town had sounded the 
 praises of her beauty and accomplishments ; but 
 George had not seen her, though Mr. Smith 
 had in the meantime given him several notes 
 to collect, with each of which he " wondered 
 how it happened that two so much alike as him- 
 
114 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 self and George had never been more intimate, 
 and hoped he would come over in a sociable way 
 and see him often/ About this time, however, 
 George received a special invitation to a large 
 tea-party from Mr. and Mrs. Smith, which he 
 could not with propriety reject, and accordingly 
 he went. He was received at the door by Mr. 
 Smith, announced upon entering the drawing- 
 room, and conducted through a crowd of gen 
 tlemen to Miss Smith, to whom lie was intro 
 duced with peculiar emphasis. lie made his 
 obeisance and retired ; for common politeness 
 required him to bestow his attentions upon some 
 of the many ladies in the room, who were neg 
 lected by the gentlemen in their rivalship for a 
 smile or word from Miss Evelina. She was the 
 admiration of all the gentlemen, and, with the 
 exception of two or three youny ladies, who 
 "thought her too affected, 7 she was praised by 
 all the ladies. In short, by nearly universal tes 
 timony she was pronounced "a charming creat 
 ure." 
 
 An hour had elapsed before George found an 
 opportunity of giving her those attentions which, 
 as a guest of the family, courtesy required from 
 him. The opportunity was at length, however, 
 furnished by herself. In circling round the 
 room to entertain the company, she reached 
 George just as the seat next to him had been 
 vacated. This she occupied, and a conversation 
 ensued, with every word of which she gained 
 upon his respect and esteem. Instead of find 
 ing her that gay, volatile, vain creature whom 
 
THE "CHARMING CREATURE" AS A WIFE 115 
 
 he expected to find in the rich and beautiful 
 daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, he found her 
 a modest, sensible, unassuming girl, whose views 
 upon all subjects coincided precisely with his 
 own. 
 
 " She yielded to the wishes of her parents, 
 from a sense of duty, in giving and attending 
 parties ; but she always left them under the 
 conviction that the time spent at them was worse 
 than wasted. It was really a luxury to her to 
 retire from the idle chit-chat of them, and to 
 spend a few minutes in conversation with a male 
 or female friend who would consider it no dis 
 respect to the company to talk rationally upon 
 such occasions. And yet, in conducting such 
 conversations at such times, it was so difficult to 
 avoid the appearance of pedantry, and to keep 
 it from running into something too stiff or too 
 grave for a social circle, that she really was 
 afraid to court them." As to books, "she 
 read but very few novels, though her ignorance 
 of them often exposed her to some mortification ; 
 but she felt that her ignorance here was a com 
 pliment to her taste and delicacy, which made 
 ample amends for the mortifications to which it 
 forced her occasionally to submit. With Hannah 
 More, Mrs. Chapone, Bennett, and other writ 
 ers of the same class she was very familiar" 
 (and she descanted upon the peculiar merits 
 of each); "but, after all, books were of small 
 consequence to a lady without those domestic 
 virtues which enable her to blend superior use 
 fulness with superior acquirements ; and if learn- 
 
116 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 ing or usefulness must be forsaken., it had better 
 be the first. Of music she was extravagantly 
 fond, and she presumed she ever would be ; but 
 she confessed she had no taste for its modern 
 refinements. 
 
 Thus she went on with the turns of the con 
 versation and as she caught George s views. It 
 is true she would occasionally drop a remark 
 which did not harmonize exactly with these 
 dulcet strains ; and in her rambles over the 
 world of science she would sometimes seem at 
 fault where George thought she ought to have 
 been perfectly at home ; but he found a thou 
 sand charitable ways of accounting for all this, 
 not one of which led to the idea that she might 
 have learned these diamond sentiments by rote 
 from the lips of her preceptress. Consequently, 
 they came with resistless force upon the citadel 
 of George s heart, and in less than half an hour 
 overpowered it completely. 
 
 k< Truly," thought George, "she is a charm 
 ing creature ! When was so much beauty ever 
 blended with such unassuming manners and 
 such intellectual endowments ! How wonderful 
 that the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Smith should 
 possess such accomplishments ! How dull 
 with all her filial affection how dull must be 
 her life under the parental roof ! Not a com 
 panion, not a sympathetic feeling there ! How 
 sweet it would be to return from the toils of 
 the courts to a bosom friend so soft, so benevo 
 lent, so intelligent." 
 
 Thus ran George s thoughts as soon as Miss 
 
THE "CHARMING CREATURE" AS A WIFE 117 
 
 Smith had left him to go in quest of new con 
 quests. The effects of her short interview with 
 him soon became visible to every eye. His con 
 versation lost its spirit, was interrupted by 
 moody abstractions, and was sillier than it had 
 ever been. George had a fine person, and, for 
 the first time in his life, he now set a value upon 
 it. To exhibit it to the greatest advantage, he 
 walked the room under various pretences ; and 
 when in his promenades he caught the eye of 
 Miss Smith resting upon him he assumed a more 
 martial or theatric step, which made him look 
 ridiculous at the time, and feel so immediately 
 afterwards. In his listless journeyings his at 
 tention was arrested by a beautiful cottage scene 
 at the foot of which glittered, in golden letters, 
 "BY EVELINA CAROLINE SMITH, OF , 
 GEORGIA." 
 
 This led him to another, and another, from the 
 same pencil. Upon these he was gazing with a 
 look and attitude the most complimentary to Miss 
 Evelina that he could possibly assume, while the 
 following remarks were going the rounds. 
 
 " Do you notice George Baldwin ?" 
 
 "Oh yes; he s in for it; dead, sir; good-bye 
 to bail writs and sassiperaris !" 
 
 " Oh, she s only put an attachment on him." 
 
 " Really, Miss Smith, it was too bad to serve 
 George Baldwin so cruelly !" 
 
 "Ah, sir, if reports are true, Mr. Baldwin is 
 too fond of his books to think of any lady, much 
 less of one so unworthy of his attentions as I am." 
 
 George heard this, nestled a little, threw back 
 
118 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 his shoulders, placed his arms akimbo, and looked 
 at the picture. with wonderful independence. 
 
 Then Miss Evelina was handed to the piano, 
 and to a simple, beautiful air she sang a well- 
 written song, the burden of which was an apology 
 for love at first sight. This was wanton cruelty 
 to an unresisting captive. To do her justice, 
 however, her performance had not been equalled 
 during the evening. 
 
 The company at length began to retire ; and, 
 so long as a number remained sufficient to give 
 him an apology for staying, George delayed his 
 departure. The last group of ladies and gentle 
 men finally rose, and George commenced a fruit 
 less search for his hat ; fruitless, because he look 
 ed for it where he knew it was not to be found. 
 But a servant was more successful, and brought 
 it to him just as he was giving up the search as 
 hopeless, and commencing a conversation with 
 Miss Smith for the night. 
 
 " Why, where did you find it ?" said George, 
 with seeming surprise and pleasure at the dis 
 covery. 
 
 " Out da, in de entry, sir, whay all de gentle 
 men put da hats." 
 
 "Oh, I ought to have known that. Good-bye, 
 Miss Evelina !" said George, throwing a melting 
 eloquence into the first word, and reaching forth 
 his hand. 
 
 " Good-evening, Mr. Baldwin !" returned she ; 
 " I hope you will not be quite so great a stranger 
 here as you have been. Pa has often wondered 
 that you never visit him." Here she relinquished 
 
THE "CHARMING CREATURE" AS A WIFE 119 
 
 his hand with a gentle but sensible pressure, 
 which might mean two or three things. What 
 ever was its meaning, it ran like nitrous oxide 
 through every fibre of George s composition, and 
 robbed him for a moment of his last ray of in 
 tellect. 
 
 "Believe me, Miss Smith," said he, as if he 
 were opening a murder case " believe me, there 
 are fascinations about this hospitable dome, in 
 the delicate touches of the pencil which adorn it, 
 and in the soft breathings of the piano, awaked 
 by the hand which I have just relinquished, which 
 will not permit me to delay, as heretofore, those 
 visits which professional duty requires me to 
 make to your kind parent (your father) a single 
 moment beyond the time that his claims to my 
 respects become absolute. Good-evening, Miss 
 Smith." 
 
 "Did ever mortal of common-sense talk and 
 act so much like an arrant fool as I have this 
 evening ?" said George, as the veil of night fell 
 upon the visions which had danced before his 
 eyes for the four preceding hours. 
 
 Though it was nearly twelve o clock at night 
 when he reached his office, he could not sleep 
 until he laid the adventures of the evening before 
 his father and mother. The return mail brought 
 him a letter from his parents, written by his 
 mother s hand, which we regret we cannot give 
 a place in this narrative. Suffice it to say, it was 
 kind and affectionate, but entirely too cold for 
 the temperature of George s feelings. It admit 
 ted the intrinsic excellence of Miss Smith s views 
 
120 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 and sentiments, but expressed serious apprehen 
 sions that her habits of life would prove an in 
 superable barrier to her ever putting them in full 
 practice. " We all admit, my dear George/ said 
 the amiable writer, "the value of industry, econ 
 omy in short, of all the domestic and social 
 virtues ; but how small the number who practise 
 them ! Golden sentiments are to be picked up 
 anywhere. In this age they are upon the lips of 
 everybody ; but we do not find that they exert as 
 great an influence upon the morals of society as 
 they did in the infancy of our republic, when 
 they were less talked of. For ourselves, we con 
 fess we prize the gentleman or lady who habitu 
 ally practises one Christian virtue much higher 
 than we do the one who barely lectures elo 
 quently upon them all. But we are not so 
 weak or so uncharitable as to suppose that none 
 who discourse fluently upon them can possess 
 them. 
 
 * * * # * # 
 
 " The whole moral which we would deduce 
 from the foregoing remarks is one which your 
 own observation must have taught you a thousand 
 times : that but little confidence is to be reposed 
 in fine sentiments which do not come recommend 
 ed by the life and conduct of the person who re 
 tails them. And yet, familiar as you are with 
 this truth, you certainly have more command over 
 your judgment than have most young men of 
 your age, if you do not entirely forget it the mo 
 ment you hear such sentiments from the lips 
 of a lady possessing strong personal attractions. 
 
Tim "CHARMING CREATURE" AS A WIFE 121 
 
 There is a charm in beauty which even philos 
 ophy is constrained to acknowledge, and which 
 youth instinctively transfers to all the moral qual 
 ities of its possessor. 
 
 ****** 
 
 "When you come to know the elements of 
 which connubial happiness is composed, you will 
 be astonished to find that, with few exceptions, 
 they are things which you now consider the veri 
 est trifles imaginable. It is a happy ordination 
 of Providence that it should be so ; for this 
 brings matrimonial bliss within the reach of all 
 classes of persons. * * * Harmony of thought 
 and feeling upon the little daily occurrences of 
 life, congeniality of views and sentiments between 
 yourselves and your connections on either side, 
 similarity of habits and pursuits among your im 
 mediate relatives and friends, if not essential to 
 nuptial bliss, are certainly its chief ingredients. 
 ****** 
 
 "Having pointed you to the sources of conju 
 gal felicity, your own judgment will spare my 
 trembling hand the painful duty of pointing you 
 to those fountains of bitterness and woe ; but I 
 forget that I am representing your father as well 
 as myself." 
 
 George read the long letter from which the 
 foregoing extracts are taken with deep interest 
 and with some alarm ; but he was not in a situa 
 tion to profit by his parents counsels. He had 
 visited Miss Smith repeatedly in the time he was 
 waiting to hear from his parents ; and though 
 he had discovered many little foibles in her char- 
 
122 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 acter, he found a ready apology or an easy reme 
 dy for them all. 
 
 The lapse of a few months found them en 
 gaged, and George the happiest mortal upon 
 earth. 
 
 " And now, my dear Evelina/ said he, as soon 
 as they had interchanged their vows, "I go to 
 render myself worthy of the honor you have con 
 ferred upon me. My studies, which love, doubt, 
 and anxiety have too long interrupted, shall now 
 be renewed with redoubled intensity. My Eve 
 lina s interest, being associated with all my labors, 
 will turn them to pleasures ; my honor being 
 hers, I shall court it with untiring zeal. She will 
 therefore excuse me if my visits are not repeated 
 in future quite as often as they have been here 
 tofore." 
 
 " What, already, Mr. Baldwin !" exclaimed she, 
 weeping most beautifully. 
 
 " Why, no, not for the world, if my dear Eve 
 lina says not ! But I thought that I flattered 
 myself I hoped my Evelina would find a suffi 
 cient apology in the motive." 
 
 The little mistake was rectified in the course of 
 an hour, and they parted more in raptures with 
 each other than they had ever been. 
 
 George continued his visits as before, and in 
 the meantime his business began to suffer from 
 neglect, of which his clients occasionally remind 
 ed him, with all the frankness which one exhibits 
 at seeing a love affair carried on with too much 
 zeal and at his expense. In truth, George s heart 
 had more than once entertained a wish (for his 
 
THE "CHARMING CREATURE" AS A WIFE 12-i 
 
 lips dare not utter it) that his charming Eveli 
 na s affection could come down to a hundred of 
 Wedge wood when the circuit commenced,, and 
 give him a temporary respite. 
 
 The evening before he set out he spent with 
 his "charming Evelina/ of course, and the in 
 terview closed with a most melting scene ; but 
 I may not stop to describe it. Candor con 
 strains me to say, however, that George got over 
 it before he reached his office, which he entered 
 actually whistling a merry tune. 
 
 He was at the second court of the circuit, and 
 had been from home nearly a fortnight, when 
 one of his friends addressed him with, "I ll tell 
 you what it is, Baldwin: you d better go home 
 or Dr. Bibb will cut you out. There have been 
 two or three parties in town since you came 
 away, at all of which Miss Smith and Bibb were 
 as thick as two pickpockets. The whole town s 
 talking about them. I heard a young lady say 
 to her, she d tell you how she was carrying on 
 with Bibb ; and she declared, upon her word 
 and honor (looking Tcillniferously at Bibb), that 
 she only knew you as her father s collecting at 
 torney/ 
 
 George reddened deeper and deeper at every 
 word of this, but passed it oif with a hearty, 
 hectic laugh. 
 
 It was on Thursday afternoon that he received 
 this intelligence, and it met him forty miles 
 from home, and twenty-five from the next court 
 in order. Two of his cases were yet undisposed 
 of. Of these he gave hasty notes to one of his 
 
124 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 brethren, in order to guide him if he should be 
 forced to trial, but instructing him to continue 
 them if he could. Having made these arrange 
 ments, Friday afternoon, at five o clock, found 
 his jaded horse at his office door. George tarried 
 here no longer than was necessary to change his 
 apparel, and then he hastened to the habitation 
 of his " charming Evelina." 
 
 He was received at the door by a servant, who 
 escorted him to the drawing-room, and who, to 
 heighten Evelina s joy by surprise, instructed 
 her maid to tell her that there was a gentleman 
 in the drawing-room who wished to see her. 
 
 Minute after minute rolled away, and she did 
 not make her appearance. After he had been 
 kept in suspense for nearly a quarter of an hour, 
 she entered the room, dressed in bridal richness 
 and taste. 
 
 " Why, is it you ?" said she, rushing to him 
 in transports : " I thought it was Dr. Bibb." 
 
 "And who is Dr. Bibb, Evelina?" said 
 George. 
 
 "He s a young physician, with whom I had 
 a partial acquaintance in Philadelphia, and who 
 has just settled himself in this place. I want 
 you to get acquainted with him, for he is one 
 of the most interesting young gentlemen I ever 
 knew in my life," 
 
 "No doubt I should be much pleased with 
 him ; but do you think he would feel himself 
 much honored or improved by an acquaintance 
 with your father s collecting attorney 9" 
 
 "Why ! Is it possible that Rebecca Freeman 
 
THE "CHARMING CREATURE" AS A WIFE 125 
 
 has told you that ? I never will speak to her 
 again. I am the most persecuted being upon 
 earth. I can say nothing nor do nothing, no 
 matter how innocent,, which some one does not 
 make a handle of to injure me." 
 
 Here Miss Evelina burst into tears, as usual ; 
 but there being a little passion mingled with her 
 tears on this occasion, her weeping was not quite 
 as interesting as it had been before. It subdued 
 George, however, and paved the way to a recon 
 ciliation. The obnoxious expression was ex 
 plained rather awkwardly, indeed, but satisfac 
 torily and Miss Freeman was acquitted of all 
 blame. 
 
 Matters were just placed in this posture when 
 a servant arrived to inform George "that some 
 thing was the matter with his horse, and Mr. 
 Cox (his landlord) thought he was going to 
 die/ 
 
 George rose, and was hastening to the relief 
 of his favorite of all quadrupeds, when Miss 
 Smith burst into a very significant but affected 
 laugh. 
 
 " Why, what is it amuses you so, Evelina ?" 
 inquired George, with some surprise. 
 
 "Oh, nothing," said she ; " I was only think 
 ing how quick Mr. Baldwin forgets me when his 
 horse demands his attentions. I declare, I m 
 right jealous of my rival." 
 
 " Go back, boy, and tell your master I can t 
 come just now ; but I ll thank him to do what 
 he can for the poor animal." 
 
 Mr. Cox, upon receiving this intelligence, and 
 
126 GEOHGIA SCENES 
 
 learning the business which engrossed George s 
 attention, left the horse to take care of himself ; 
 and he died just before George returned from 
 Mr. Smith s. 
 
 These,, and a thousand little annoyances which 
 we may not enumerate, urged upon George the 
 importance of hastening the nuptials as speedily 
 as possible. 
 
 Accordingly, by all the dangers, ills, alarms, 
 and anxieties which attend the hours of engage 
 ment, he pressed her to name the happy day 
 within the coming month when their hearts and 
 their destinies should be inseparably united. 
 
 But "she could not think of getting married 
 for two years yet to come ; then one year at 
 least. At all events, she could not appoint a 
 day until she consulted her dear Morgiana Cor 
 nelia Marsh, of Canaan, Vermont. Morgiana 
 was her classmate, and, at parting in Philadel 
 phia, they had interchanged pledges that which 
 ever got married first should be waited upon by 
 the other." 
 
 In vain did George endeavor to persuade her 
 that this was a schoolgirl pledge, which Morgi 
 ana had already forgotten, and which she never 
 would fulfil. His arguments only provoked a 
 reproof of his unjust suspicions of the "Amer 
 ican fair." 
 
 Finding his arguments here unavailing, he 
 then entreated his ff charming Evelina" to write 
 immediately to Miss Marsh to know when it 
 would be agreeable to her to fulfil her promise. 
 
 Weeks rolled away before Miss Smith could 
 
THE "CHARMING CREATURE" AS A WIFE 127 
 
 he prevailed upon even to write the all-important 
 letter. She despatched it at last, however, and 
 George began to entertain hopes that a few 
 months would make the dear Evelina his own. 
 
 In the meantime his business fell in arrears, 
 and his clients complained loudly against him. 
 He was incessantly tortured with false rumors 
 of his coldness and indifference towards Miss 
 Smith, and of the light and disrespectful re 
 marks which he had made upon her ; but he 
 was much more tortured by her unabated thirst 
 for balls and parties of pleasure; her undimin- 
 ished love of general admiration, and the un 
 concealed encouragement which she gave to the 
 attentions of Dr. Bibb. The effect which these 
 things had upon his temper was visible to all his 
 friends. He became fretful, petulant, impatient, 
 and melancholy. Dr. Bibb proved, in truth, to 
 be a most accomplished, intelligent gentleman ; 
 and was the man who, above all others, George 
 would have selected for his friend and compan 
 ion, had not the imprudences of Evelina trans 
 formed him into a rival. As things were, 
 however, his accomplishments only embittered 
 George s feelings towards him, provoked from 
 George cruel, misplaced, and unnatural sarcasms, 
 which the world placed to the account of jeal 
 ousy, and in which George s conscience forced 
 him to admit that the world did him nothing 
 more nor less than sheer justice. 
 
 At length Miss Morgiana s letter arrived. It 
 opened with expressions of deep contrition that 
 the writer "should have got married without 
 
128 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 giving her beloved Evelina an opportunity of 
 fulfilling her promise ; but really, after all, she 
 was not to blame, for she did propose to write 
 to her beloved Evelina to come on to Canaan, 
 but papa and Mr. Huntington (her husband) 
 would not hear of it ; indeed, they both got 
 almost vexed that she should think of such a 
 thing. * * * But as soon as my beloved Evelina 
 gets married she must appoint a time at which 
 we can meet at Philadelphia with our husbands 
 and compare notes. * * * I have a thousand 
 secrets to tell you about married life ; but I must 
 reserve them till we meet. A thousand kisses 
 to your dear George for me ; and tell him, if I 
 were not a married woman I should certainly 
 fall in love with him, from your description of 
 him/ 
 
 "Well, I declare," said Evelina, as she folded 
 up the letter, " I could not have believed that 
 Morgiana would have served me so. I would 
 have died before I would have treated her in the 
 same way/ 7 
 
 The great obstacle being now removed, the 
 wedding night was fixed at the shortest time 
 that it could be to allow the necessary prepara 
 tions, which was just three months ahead. 
 
 Before these three months rolled away, George 
 became convinced that he had staked his earthly 
 happiness upon the forlorn hope of reforming 
 Miss Smith s errors after marriage ; but his sense 
 of honor was too refined to permit him to har 
 bor a thought of breaking the engagement ; and, 
 indeed, so completely had he become enamoured 
 
THE "CHARMING CREATURE" AS A WIFE 129 
 
 of her that any perils seemed preferable to giv 
 ing her up forever. 
 
 He kept his parents faithfully advised of all 
 the incidents of his love and courtship, and 
 every letter which he forwarded went like a 
 serpent into the Eden of peace over which they 
 presided. Their letters to him never came un- 
 embalmed in a mother s tears, and were never 
 read without the tender response which a moth 
 er s tears ever draw from the eyes of a truly af 
 fectionate son. 
 
 The night came, and George and Evelina were 
 married. 
 
 A round of bridal parties succeeded, every one 
 of which served only to heighten George s alarms 
 and to depress his spirits. He could not dis 
 cover that marriage had abated in the smallest 
 degree his wife s love of general admiration and 
 flattery. The delight which she felt at the at 
 tentions of the young gentlemen was visible to 
 more eyes than his, as was plainly evinced by 
 the throngs which attended her wheresoever she 
 moved. Occasionally their assiduities assumed 
 a freedom which was well calculated to alarm 
 and to inflame one whose notions of married life 
 were much less refined than those which George 
 had ever entertained ; but there was an apology 
 for them, which he knew he would be forced to 
 admit, flimsy as it was in truth namely, "they 
 were only those special attentions which were 
 due to the queen of a bridal party/ Another 
 consideration forced him to look in silence upon 
 those liberties. His wife had taken no offence 
 
130 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 at them. She either did not repel them at all, 
 or she repelled them in such a good - humored 
 way that she encouraged rather than prevented 
 the repetition of them. For him, therefore, to 
 have interposed would have been considered an 
 act of supererogation. 
 
 To the great delight of George, the parties 
 ended, and the young couple set out on a visit 
 to Lagrange, the residence of George s parents. 
 On their way thither, Evelina was secluded, of 
 course, from the gaze of every person but her 
 husband ; and her attachment now became as 
 much too ardent as it had before been too cold. 
 If, at their stages, he left her for a moment, she 
 was piqued at his coldness or distressed at his 
 neglect. If he engaged in a conversation with 
 an acquaintance or a stranger he was sure to be 
 interrupted by his wife s waiting-maid, Flora, 
 with "Miss V lina say, please go da, sir"; and 
 when he went he always found her in tears or 
 in a pet at having been neglected so long by 
 him, " when he knew she had no friend or com 
 panion to entertain her but himself." 
 
 George had been long acquainted with the 
 ladies of the houses at which they stopped. 
 They all esteemed him, and were all anxious 
 to be made acquainted with his wife ; but she 
 could not be drawn from her room, from the 
 time she entered a house until she rose to leave 
 it. All her meals were taken in her room ; and 
 George was rebuked by her because he would 
 not follow her example. It was in vain that he 
 reasoned with her upon the impropriety of chang- 
 
THE "CHARMING CREATURE" AS A WIFE 131 
 
 ing his deportment to his old acquaintances im 
 mediately after his marriage. He stated to her 
 that the change would be attributed to pride ; 
 that he should lose a number of humble_but 
 valuable acquaintances, which, to a professional 
 gentleman, is no small loss. But "she could 
 not understand that a gentleman is at liberty to 
 neglect his wife for humble but valuable ac 
 quaintances. 
 
 When they reached Lagrange they received as 
 warm a welcome from George s parents as par 
 ents laboring under their apprehensions could 
 give ; but Mary and Martha, having nothing to 
 mar their pleasures (for they had not been per 
 mitted to know the qualifications which George s 
 last letters had annexed to his first), received 
 her with all the delight which the best hearts 
 could feel at welcoming to the family, in the 
 character of a sister, the beautiful, amiable, ac 
 complished, intelligent, wealthy Miss Smith. In 
 anticipation of her coming, the girls had brushed 
 up their history, philosophy, geography, astrono 
 my, and botany for her especial entertainment, 
 or. rather, that they might appear a little at 
 home when their new sister should invite them 
 to a ramble over the fields of science. The la 
 bor answered not its purpose, however ; Evelina 
 would neither invite nor be invited to any such 
 rambles. 
 
 The news of George s arrival at Lagrange with 
 his wife brought many of his rustic acquaintances 
 to visit him. To many of them George was as 
 a son or a brother, for he had been acquainted 
 
132 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 with them from his earliest years, and he had a 
 thousand times visited their habitations with the 
 freedom with which he entered his father s. 
 They met him, therefore, with unrestrained fa 
 miliarity, and treated his wife as a part of him 
 self. George had endeavored to prepare her for 
 the plain, blunt, but honest familiarities of his 
 early friends. He had assured her that, how 
 ever rude they might seem, they were perfect 
 ly innocent nay, they were tokens of guileless 
 friendship; for the natural disposition of plain 
 unlettered farmers was to keep aloof from "the 
 quality," as they called the people of the town, 
 and that by as much as they overcame this dis 
 position, by so much did they mean to be under 
 stood as evincing favor ; but Evelina profited 
 but little by his lessons. 
 
 The first visitor was old Mr. Dawson, who had 
 dandled George on his knee a thousand times, 
 and who, next to his father, was the sincerest 
 male friend that George had living. 
 
 "Well, Georgy," said the old man, "and you ve 
 got married ?" 
 
 " Yes, Uncle Sammy, and here s my wife. What 
 do you think of her ?" 
 
 " Why, she s a mighty pretty Greater ; but 
 you d better took my Nance. She d ave made 
 you another sort of wife to this pretty little soft 
 creater." 
 
 " I don t know, sir, "said Evelina, a little fiery, 
 "how you can tell what sort of a wife a person 
 will make whom you never saw. And I presume 
 Mr. Baldwin is old enough to choose for himself." 
 
THE "CHARMING CREATURE" AS A WIPE 133 
 
 " Ah, well, now I knoio he d better ave took 
 my Nance/ said the old man, with a dry smile. 
 " Georgy, my son, I m afraid you ve got yourself 
 into bad business ; but I wish you much happi 
 ness, my boy. Come, Neighbor Baldwin, let s 
 go take a look at your farm." 
 
 "Oh no," said old Mr. Baldwin, "we will not 
 go till I make my daughter better acquainted 
 with you. She is unused to our country man 
 ners, and therefore does not understand them. 
 Evelina, my dear, Mr. Dawson is one of our best 
 and kindest neighbors, and you and he must not 
 break upon your first acquaintance. He was 
 only joking George in what he said, and had no 
 idea that you would take it seriously." 
 
 "Well, sir," said Evelina, "if Mr. Dawson will 
 say that he did not intend to wound my feelings, 
 Fm willing to forgive him." 
 
 " Oh, God love your pretty little soul of you," 
 said the old man, "I didn t even know you had 
 any feelings ; but as to the forgiving part, why, 
 that s neither here nor there !" Here Evelina 
 rose indignantly and left the room. 
 
 " Well, Georgy, my son," continued the old 
 man, " I m sorry your wife s so touchy ; but you 
 mustn t forget old Daddy Dawson. Come, my 
 boy, to our house, like you used to, when you 
 and Sammy and Nancy used to sit round the 
 bowl of buttermilk under the big oak that cov 
 ered Mammy Dawson s dairy. I always think of 
 poor Sammy when I see you" (brushing a tear 
 from his eye with the back of his hand). "I m 
 obliged to love you, you young dog ; and I want 
 
134 
 
 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 to love your wife too, if she d let me ; but, be 
 that as it may, Sammy s playmate won t forget 
 Daddy Dawson will he, George ?" 
 
 George could only say " Never !" with a filling 
 eye, and the old men set out for the fields. 
 
 Most of the neighbors who came to greet 
 George upon his return to Lagrange shared Mr. 
 
 "ANOTHER WOULD BUSS HER* BECAUSE SHE WAS 
 
 GEORGE S WIFE" 
 
 Dawson s fate. One wanted to span Evelina s 
 waist, for he declared " she was the littlest 
 creater round the waist he ever seed." Another 
 would " buss her because she was George^s wife, 
 and because it was the first chance he ever had 
 in all his life to buss the quality." A third 
 proposed a swap of wives with George, and all 
 
THE "CHARMING CREATURE" AS A WIPE 135 
 
 made some remark too blunt for Evelina s re 
 fined ear. Having no tact for turning off these 
 things playfully, and as little disposition to do 
 so, she repelled them with a town dignity which 
 soon relieved her of these intrusions, and in less 
 than a week stopped the visits of George s first 
 and warmest friends to his father s house. 
 
 Her habits, views, and feelings agreeing in 
 nothing with the family in which she was placed, 
 Evelina was unhappy herself, and made all 
 around her unhappy. Her irregular hours of 
 retiring and rising, her dilatoriness in attend 
 ing her meals, her continual complaints of in 
 disposition, deranged all the regulations of the 
 family, and begot such confusion in the house 
 hold that even the elder Mrs. Baldwin occa 
 sionally lost her equanimity; so that when Ev 
 elina announced, a week before the appointed 
 time, that she must return home, the intelligence 
 was received with pleasure rather than pain. 
 
 Upon their return home, George and his lady 
 found a commodious dwelling handsomely fur 
 nished for their reception. Mr. Smith presented 
 him this in lieu of the check of which he had 
 spoken before the marriage of his daughter ; and 
 though the gift did not redeem the promise by 
 114,000, George was perfectly satisfied. Mrs. 
 Smith added to the donation her own cook and 
 carriage-driver. Flora, the maid, had been con 
 sidered Evelina s from her infancy. Nothing 
 could have been more agreeable to George than 
 the news that greeted him on his arrival, that he 
 was at liberty to name the day when he would 
 
136 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 conduct Evelina to his own house ; for his last 
 hope of happiness hung upon this last change of 
 life. He allowed himself but two days after his 
 return to lay in his store of provisions ; and on 
 the third, at four in the afternoon, he led his 
 wife to their mutual home. 
 
 "To this moment, my dear Evelina," said 
 George, as they seated themselves in their own 
 habitation "to this moment have I looked for 
 ward for many months with the liveliest interest. 
 I have often figured to myself the happy hours 
 that we should enjoy under the common roof, and 
 I hope the hour has arrived when we will unite 
 our endeavors to realize my fond anticipations. 
 Let us, then, upon the commencement of a new 
 life, interchange our pledges that we will each 
 exert ourselves to promote the happiness of the 
 other. In many respects, it must be acknoAvl- 
 edged that our views and dispositions are differ 
 ent ; but they will soon be assimilated by identity 
 of interest, community of toil, and a frank and 
 affectionate interchange of opinions, if we will 
 but consent to submit to some little sacrifices in 
 the beginning to attain this object. Now tell 
 me, candidly and fearlessly, my Evelina, what 
 would you have me be, and what would you 
 have me do, to answer your largest wishes from 
 your husband ?" 
 
 "I would have you," said Evelina, "think 
 more of me than all the world beside ; I would 
 have you the first lawyer in the State ; I would 
 have you overcome your dislike to such inno 
 cent amusements as tea-parties and balls ; and 
 
THE "CHARMING CREATURE* AS A WIFE 137 
 
 I would have you take me to the Springs, or 
 to New York or Philadelphia, every summer. 
 Now what would you have me do ?" 
 
 " I would have you rise when I do ; regulate 
 your servants with system ; see that they per 
 form their duties in the proper way and the 
 proper time ; let all provisions go through your 
 hands ; and devote your spare time to reading 
 valuable works, painting, music, or any other 
 improving employment or innocent recreation. 
 Be thus, and I ivill think more of you than all 
 the world beside 7 ; I will be the first lawyer in 
 the State ; and after a few years, you shall visit 
 the North or the Springs every summer/ if you 
 desire it." 
 
 " Lord, if I do all these things you mention 
 I shall have no time for reading, music, or 
 painting !" 
 
 " Yes you will. My mother 
 
 " Oh, for the Lord s sake, Mr. Baldwin, hush 
 talking about your mother ! I m sick and tired 
 of hearing you talk of tf my mother this, and 
 my mother that ; and when I went to your 
 house I didn t see that she got along a bit bet 
 ter than my mother, except in her cooking ; and, 
 that was only because your mother cooked the 
 meats and your sisters made the pastry. I don t 
 see the use of having servants if one must do 
 everything herself." 
 
 " My sisters make the pastry, to be sure ; be 
 cause mother desires that they should learn how 
 to do these things, that they may better super 
 intend the doing of them when they get mar- 
 
138 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 ried, and because she thinks such things should 
 not pass through the hands of servants when it 
 can be avoided ; but my mother never cooks." 
 
 " She does, for I saw her lifting off a pot my 
 self." 
 
 " She does not " 
 
 Here the entry of the cook stopped a contro 
 versy that was becoming rather warm for the first 
 evening at home. 
 
 " I want the keys, Miss V lina, to get out 
 supper," said the cook. 
 
 " There they are, Aunt* Clary," said Evelina ; 
 " try and have everything very nice." 
 
 " My dear, I wouldn t send her to the provi 
 sions unattended ; everything depends upon your 
 commencing right 
 
 " Hush !" said Evelina, with some agitation ; 
 " I wouldn t have her hear you for the world. 
 She d be very angry if she thought we suspected 
 her honesty. Ma always gave her up the keys, 
 and she says she never detected her in a theft 
 in all her life." 
 
 "Very well," said George, "we ll see." 
 
 After a long waiting, the first supper made its 
 appearance. It consisted of smoked tea, half- 
 baked biscuit, butter, and sliced venison. 
 
 " Why," said Evelina, as she sipped her first 
 cup of tea, "this tea seems to me to be smoked. 
 Here, Flora, throw it out and make some more. 
 
 *"Aunt" and "mauma," or "maum," its abbrevia 
 tion, are terms of respect commonly used by children to 
 aged negroes. The first generally prevails in the up- 
 country, and the second on the seaboard. 
 
THE "CHARMING CREATURE" AS A WIFE 139 
 
 Oh, me ! the biscuit ain t done. Aunt Clary s 
 made quite an unfortunate beginning. But I 
 didn t want any supper do you ?" 
 
 " I can do without it," said George, coldly, 
 "if you can." 
 
 " Well, let s not eat any, and that will be the 
 very way to mortify Aunt Clary without making 
 her mad. To-morrow I ll laugh at her for cheat 
 ing us out of our supper, and she won t do so 
 any more. The old creature has very tender 
 feelings." 
 
 " HI starve for a week to save Clary s feel 
 ings/ said George, " if you will only quit aunt- 
 ing her. How can you expect her to treat you 
 or your orders with respect when you treat her 
 as your superior ?" 
 
 " Well, really, I can t see any great harm in 
 treating aged people with respect, even if their 
 skins are black." 
 
 " I wish you had thought of that when you 
 were talking to old Mr. Dawson. I should think 
 he was entitled to as much respect as an infernal 
 black wench !" 
 
 This was the harshest expression that had ever 
 escaped George s lips. Evelina could not stand 
 it. She left the room, threw herself on a bed, 
 and burst into tears. 
 
 In the course of the night the matter was ad 
 justed. 
 
 The next morning George rose with the sun, 
 and he tried to prevail upon his wife to do the 
 same ; but " she could not see what was the use 
 of her getting up so soon, just to set about doing 
 
140 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 nothing "; and, to silence all further importuni 
 ties then and after upon that score, she told him 
 flatly she never would consent to rise at that 
 hour. 
 
 At half after eight she made her appearance, 
 and breakfast came in. It consisted of muddy 
 coffee, hard-boiled eggs, and hard-burnt biscuit. 
 
 "Why, what has got into Aunt Clary," said 
 Evelina, " that she cooks so badly ?" 
 
 " Why, we mortified her so much, my dear, by 
 eating no supper," said George, "that we have 
 driven her to the opposite extreme. Let us now 
 throw the breakfast upon her hands, except the 
 coffee, and perhaps she ll be mortified back to a 
 medium." 
 
 "That s very witty, indeed," said Evelina; 
 "you must have learned it from the amiable and 
 accomplished Miss Nancy Dawson." 
 
 This was an allusion which George could not 
 withstand, and he reddened to scarlet. 
 
 "Evelina," said he, "you are certainly the 
 strangest being that I ever met with ; you are 
 more respectful to negroes than to whites, and 
 to everybody else than to your husband." 
 
 "Because," returned she, "negroes treat me 
 with more respect than some whites ; and every 
 body else with more respect than my husband." 
 
 George was reluctant to commence tightening 
 the reins of discipline with his servants for the 
 first few weeks of his mastership ; and therefore 
 he bore in silence, but in anger, their idleness, 
 their insolence, and their disgusting familiarities 
 with his wife. He often visited the kitchen, un- 
 
THE "CHARMING CREATURE" AS A WIFE 141 
 
 observed, of nights, and almost always found it 
 thronged with gay company, revelling in all the 
 daintiest of his closet, smoke-house, sideboard, 
 and pantry. He communicated his discoveries 
 to his wife, but she found no difficulty in ac 
 counting satisfactorily for all that he had seen. 
 " Clary s husband had always supplied her with 
 everything she wanted. Flora had a hundred 
 ways of getting money ; and Billy (the carriage- 
 driver) was always receiving little presents from 
 her and others." 
 
 At the end of three weeks Aunt Clary an 
 nounced that the barrel of flour was out. 
 
 " Now," said George, " I hope you are satisfied 
 that it is upon your flour, and not upon her 
 husband s, that Aunt Clary gives her entertain 
 ments." 
 
 " Why, law me !" said Evelina, " I think it has 
 lasted wonderfully. You recollect ma and pa 
 have been here "most every day." 
 
 " Had they boarded with us/ said George, " we 
 could not have consumed a barrel of flour in three 
 weeks." 
 
 In quick succession came the news that the tea, 
 coffee, and sugar were out ; all of which Evelina 
 thought "had lasted wonderfully." 
 
 It would be useless to recount the daily dif 
 ferences of George and his wife. In nothing 
 could they agree ; and the consequence was 
 that at the end of six weeks they had come to 
 downright quarrelling, through all which Evelina 
 sought and received the sympathy of Miss Flora 
 and Aunt Clary. 
 
142 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 About this time the Superior Court commenced 
 its session in the city ; and a hundred like favors, 
 received from the judge and the bar, imposed 
 upon George the absolute necessity of giving a 
 dinner to his brethren. He used every precau 
 tion to pass it off well. He gave his wife four 
 days notice ; he provided everything himself, of 
 the best that the town could afford ; he became 
 all courtesy and affection to his wife, and all 
 respect and cheerfulness to Aunt Clary, in the 
 interim. He promised all the servants a hand 
 some present each if they would acquit them 
 selves well upon this occasion, and charged them 
 all, over and over, to remember that the time 
 between two and half-past three was all that the 
 bar could allow to his entertainment ; and, con 
 sequently, dinner must be upon the table precise 
 ly at two. 
 
 The day came and the company assembled. 
 Evelina, attired like a queen, received them in 
 the drawing-room, and all were delighted with 
 her. All were cheerful, talkative, and happy. 
 Two o clock came, and no dinner ; a quarter af 
 ter, and no dinner. The conversation began to 
 flag a little. Half -past two rolled round, and no 
 dinner. Conversation sank to temperate, and 
 George rose to intemperate. Three - quarters 
 past two came, but no dinner. Conversation 
 sank to freezing, and George rose to fever heat. 
 
 At this interesting moment, while he was 
 sauntering every way, George sauntered near his 
 wife, who was deeply engaged in a conversation 
 with his brother Paine, a grave, intelligent young 
 
THE "CHARMING CREATURE" AS A WIFE 143 
 
 man, and he detected her in the act of repeating, 
 verbatim et literatim, the pretty sentences which 
 first subdued his heart. 
 
 " Good Lord !" muttered George to himself ; 
 "Jenkinson, in the Vicar of Wakefield, with his 
 one sentence of learning revived !" 
 
 He rushed out of the room in order to inquire 
 what delayed dinner ; and on leaving the dining- 
 room was met at the door by Flora with two 
 pale-blue, dry, boiled fowls, boiled almost to dis 
 memberment, upon a dish large enough to con 
 tain a goodly -sized shote, their legs sticking 
 straight out, with a most undignified straddle, 
 and bowing with a bewitching grace and elastic 
 ity to George with every step that Flora made. 
 
 Behind her followed Billy, with a prodigious 
 roast turkey, upon a dish that was almost con 
 cealed by its contents, his legs extended like the 
 fowls, the back and sides burned to a crisp, and 
 the breast raw. The old gentleman was hand 
 somely adorned with a large black twine neck 
 lace ; and through a spacious window that, by 
 chance or design, the cook had left open the 
 light poured into his vacant cavity gloriously. 
 
 George stood petrified at the sight ; nor did he 
 wake from his stupor of amazement until he was 
 roused by a burned round of beef and a raw leg 
 of mutton making by him for the same port in 
 which the fowls and turkey had been moored. 
 
 He rushed into the kitchen in a fury. " You 
 infernal heifer !" said he to Aunt Clary ; " what 
 kind of cooking is this you re setting before my 
 company ?" 
 
144 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 " Eli eh ! Name o God, Mas George ; how 
 anybody gwine cook t/ing good when you hurry 
 em so ?" 
 
 George looked for something to throw at her 
 head, but fortunately found nothing. 
 
 He returned to the house, and found his wife 
 entertaining the company with a never-ending 
 sonata on the piano. 
 
 Dinner was at length announced, and an awful 
 sight it was when full spread. George made as 
 good apologies as he could, but his wife was not 
 in the least disconcerted ; indeed, she seemed to 
 assume an air of self-complaisance at the pro 
 fusion and richness which crowned her board. 
 
 The gentlemen ate but little, owing, as they 
 said, to their having all eaten a very hearty 
 breakfast that morning. George followed his 
 guests to the Court-house, craved a continuance 
 of his cases for the evening on the ground of in 
 disposition, and it was granted, with an unac 
 countable display of sympathy. He returned 
 home and embarked in a quarrel with his wife, 
 which lasted until Evelina s exhausted nature 
 sank to sleep under it, at three the next morning. 
 
 George s whole character now became com 
 pletely revolutionized. Universal gloom over 
 spread his countenance. He lost his spirits, his 
 energy, his life, his temper, his everything en 
 nobling ; and he had just begun to surrender 
 himself to the bottle, when an accident occurred 
 which revived his hopes of happiness with his 
 wife, and determined him to make one more ef 
 fort to bring her into his views. 
 
THE "CHARMING CREATURE" AS A WIFE 145 
 
 Mr. Smith, by an unfortunate investment in 
 cotton, failed ; and, after a bungling attempt to 
 secrete a few thousand dollars from his creditors 
 (for he knew George too well to claim his assist 
 ance in such a matter), he was left without a dol 
 lar that he could call his own. Evelina and her 
 parents all seemed as if they would go crazy un 
 der the misfortune ; and George now assumed 
 the most affectionate deportment to his wife and 
 the most soothing demeanor to her parents. The 
 parents were completely won to him ; and his 
 wife, for once, seemed to feel towards him as she 
 should. George availed himself of this moment 
 to make another and the last attempt to reform 
 her habits and sentiments. 
 
 " My dear Evelina," said he, " we have noth 
 ing now to look to but our own exertions for a 
 support. This, and indeed affluence, lies within 
 our reach if we will but seek them in a proper 
 way. You have only to use industry and care 
 within -doors, and I without, to place us, in a 
 very few years, above the frowns of fortune. 
 AVe have only to consult each other s happiness 
 to make each other happy. Come, then, my 
 love, forgetting our disgraceful bickerings, let 
 us now commence a new life. Believe me, there 
 is 110 being on this earth that my heart can love 
 as it can you, if you will but claim its affections ; 
 and you know how to command them." Thus, 
 at much greater length, and with much more 
 tenderness, did George address her. His appeal 
 had, for a season, its desired effect. Evelina 
 
 rose with him, retired with him, read with him. 
 10 
 
146 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 She took charge of the keys, dealt out the stores 
 with her own hand, visited the kitchen ; in short, 
 she became everything George could wish or ex 
 pect from one of her inexperience. Things im 
 mediately wore a new aspect. George became 
 himself again. He recommenced his studies 
 with redoubled assiduity. The community saw 
 and delighted in the change, and the bar began 
 to tremble at his giant strides in his profession. 
 But, alas ! his bliss was doomed to a short dura 
 tion. Though Evelina saw, and felt, and ac 
 knowledged the advantages and blessings of her 
 new course of conduct, she had to preserve it by 
 a struggle against nature ; and, at the end of 
 three months, nature triumphed over resolution, 
 and she relapsed into her old habits. George 
 now surrendered himself to drink and to despair, 
 and died the drunkard s death. At another time 
 I may perhaps give the melancholy account of 
 his ruin in detail, tracing its consequences down 
 to the moment at which I am now writing. 
 Should this time never arrive, let the fate of my 
 poor nephew be a warning to mothers against 
 bringing up their daughters to be "charming 
 creatures. " 
 
 BALDWIN. 
 
THE GANDER-PULLING 
 
 IN the year 1798 I resided in the city of Au 
 gusta,, and, upon visiting the market-house one 
 morning in that year,, my attention was called to 
 the following notice, stuck upon one of the pil 
 lars of the building : 
 
 " advurtysement. 
 
 " Thos woo Avish To be inform heareof, is 
 heareof notyfide that edwd. Prator will giv a 
 gander-pullin, jis this side of harisburg, on Sat- 
 terday of thes prcssents munth to All woo mout 
 wish to partak tharof. 
 
 "e Prator, thos wishin to 
 
 purtak will cum yearly, as the pullin will begin 
 soon. c. p." 
 
 If I am asked why " jis this side of harisburg " 
 was selected for the promised feat instead of the 
 city of Augusta, I answer from conjecture, but 
 with some confidence, because the ground chosen 
 was near the central point between four rival 
 towns, the citizens of all which mout wish to 
 partak tharof"; namely, Augusta, Springfield, 
 Harrisburg, and Campbellton. Not that each 
 
148 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 was the rival of all the others, but that the first 
 and the last were competitors, and each of the 
 others backed the pretensions of its nearest 
 neighbor. Harrisburg sided with Campbellton, 
 not because she had any interest in seeing the busi 
 ness of the two States centre upon the bank of the 
 river, nearly opposite to her, but because, like 
 the "Union Democratic Republican Party of 
 Georgia," she thought, after the adoption of the 
 Federal Constitution, that the several towns of 
 the confederacy should no longer be " separated" 
 by the distinction of local party ; but that, lay 
 ing down all former prejudices and jealousies as 
 a sacrifice on the altar of their country, they 
 should become united in a single body, for the 
 maintenance of those principles which they 
 deemed essential to the public welfare. 
 
 Springfield, on the other hand, espoused the 
 State Rights creed. She admitted that, under 
 the Federal Compact, she ought to love the sis 
 ter States very much ; but that, under the Social 
 Compact, she ought to love her own State a little 
 more ; and she thought the two compacts per 
 fectly reconcilable to each other. Instead of the 
 towns of the several States getting into single 
 bodies to preserve the public welfare, her doc 
 trine was, that they should be kept in separate 
 bodies to preserve the private welfare. She ad 
 mitted frankly that, living, as she always had 
 lived, right amid gullies, vapors, fogs, creeks, 
 and lagoons, she was wholly incapable of com 
 prehending that expansive kind of benevolence 
 which taught her to love people whom she knew 
 
THE GANDER-PULLING 149 
 
 nothing about as much as her next-door neigh 
 bors and friends. Until, therefore, she should 
 learn it from the practical operation of the Fed 
 eral Compact, she would stick to the old-fash 
 ioned Scotch love, which she understood per 
 fectly, and "go in" for Augusta, live or die, hit 
 or miss, right or wrong. As in the days of Mr. 
 Jefferson the Springfield doctrines prevailed, 
 Campbellton was literally nullified; insomuch 
 that ten years ago there was not a house left 
 to mark the spot where once flourished this 
 active, busy little village. Those who are curi 
 ous to know where Springfield stood at the time 
 of which I am speaking have only to take their 
 position at the intersection of Broad and Mar- 
 bury streets, in the city of Augusta, and they will 
 be in the very heart of old Springfield. Sixty 
 steps west and as many east of this position 
 will measure the whole length of the Jefferso- 
 nian republican village, which never boasted of 
 more than four dwelling-houses ; and Broad Street 
 measures its width, if we exclude kitchens and 
 stables. And, while upon this subject, since it 
 has been predicted by a man for whose opinions 
 I entertain the profoundest respect* (especially 
 since the prediction) that my writings will be 
 read with increased interest a hundred years to 
 come, and as I can see no good reason, if this be 
 true, why they should not be read a thousand 
 years hence with more interest, I will take the 
 liberty of dropping a word here to the curious 
 
 * The editor of the Hickory Nut. 
 
150 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 reader of the year 1933. He will certainly wish 
 to know the site of Harrisburg (seeing it is 
 doomed, at no distant period, to share the fate 
 of Springfield) and of Campbellton. 
 
 Supposing, then, that if the great fire in Au- 
 gusta on the 3d of April, 1829, did not destroy 
 that city nothing will, I select this as a per 
 manent ohject. 
 
 In 1798, Campbell Street was the western 
 verge of Augusta, a limit to which it had ad 
 vanced but a few years before, from Jackson 
 Street. Thence to Springfield led a large road, 
 now built up on either side, and forming a con 
 tinuation of Broad Street. This road was cut 
 across obliquely by a deep gully, the bed of 
 which was an almost impassable bog, which en 
 tered the road about one hundred yards below 
 Collock Street on the south, and left it about 
 thirty yards below Collock Street on the north 
 side of now Broad Street. It was called Camp 
 bell s Gully, from the name of the gentleman 
 through whose possessions and near whose dwell 
 ing it wound its way to the river. Following the 
 direction of Broad Street from Springfield west 
 ward, 1347 yards will bring you to Harrisburg, 
 which had nothing to boast of over Springfield 
 but a warehouse for the storage of tobacco, then 
 the staple of Georgia. Continue the same di 
 rection 700 yards, then face to your right hand, 
 and follow your nose directly across Savan 
 nah River, and, upon ascending the opposite 
 bank, you will be in the busiest part of Camp 
 bellton in 1798. Between Harrisburg and Spring- 
 
THE GANDER -PULLIN& l5l 
 
 field, and 1143 yards from the latter, there runs 
 a stream which may be perpetual. At the time 
 just mentioned it flowed between banks twelve 
 or fourteen feet high, and was then called, as it 
 still is, "Hawk s Gully."* 
 
 Now Mr. Prator, like the most successful poli 
 tician of the present day, was on all sides in a 
 doubtful contest ; and, accordingly, he laid off 
 his gander-pulling ground on the nearest suita 
 ble unappropriated spot to the centre point be 
 tween Springfield and Harrisburg. This was be 
 tween Harrisburg and Hawk s Gully, to the south 
 of the road, and embraced part of the road, but 
 within 100 yards of Ilarrisburg. 
 
 When " Satterday of thos pressents munth " 
 rolled round, I determined to go to the gander- 
 pulling. When I reached the spot, a considera 
 ble number of persons, of different ages, sexes, 
 sizes, and complexions, had collected from the 
 rival towns and the country around. But few 
 females were there, however, and those few were 
 from the lowest walks of life. 
 
 A circular path of about forty yards diame 
 ter had already been laid out ; over which, from 
 two posts about ten feet apart, stretched a rope, 
 the middle of which was directly over the path. 
 The rope hung loosely, so as to allow it, with the 
 weight of a gander attached to it, to vibrate in an 
 arc of four or five feet span, and so as to bring 
 
 * It took its name from an old man by the name of 
 Hawk, who lived in a log hut on a small knoll on the 
 eastern side of the gully and about a hundred yards south 
 of the Harrisburg road. 
 
152 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 the breast of the gander within barely easy reach 
 of a man of middle stature upon a horse of com 
 mon size. 
 
 A hat was now handed to such as wished to 
 enter the list ; and they threw into it twenty- 
 five cents each. This sum was the victor s prize. 
 
 The devoted gander was now produced ; and 
 Mr. Prator, having first tied his feet together 
 with a strong cord, proceeded to the neck-greas 
 ing. Abhorrent as it may be to all who respect 
 the tenderer relations of life, Mr*. Prator had 
 actually prepared a gourd of ^/oose-grease for this 
 very purpose. For myself, when I saw Ned dip 
 his hands into the grease, and commence strok 
 ing down the feathers from breast to head, my 
 thoughts took a melancholy turn. They dwelt 
 in sadness upon the many conjugal felicities 
 which had probably been shared between the 
 yreasess and the greasee. I could see him as he 
 stood by her side, through many a chilly day and 
 cheerless night, when she was warming into life 
 the offspring of their mutual loves, and repelled, 
 with chivalrous spirit, every invasion of the con 
 secrated spot which she had selected for her in 
 cubation. I could see him moving with patri 
 archal dignity by the side of his loved one, at the 
 head of a smiling, prattling group the rich re 
 ward of their mutual care to the luxuries of the 
 meadow or to the recreations of the pool. And 
 now, alas ! an extract from the smoking sacrifice 
 of his bosom friend was desecrated to the unholy 
 purpose of making his neck "a fit object" for 
 Cruelty to reach "her quick, unerring fingers 
 
THE GANDER-PULLING 153 
 
 at." Ye friends of the sacred tie ! judge what 
 were my feelings when, in the midst of these re 
 flections, the voice of James Prator thundered 
 on mine ear, "Darn his old dodging soul ! Brother 
 Ned, grease his neck till a fly can t light on it I" 
 
 Ned, having fulfilled his brother Jim s request 
 as well as he could, attached the victim of his 
 cruelty to the rope, directly over the path. On 
 each side of the gander was stationed a man, 
 whose office it was to lash forward any . horse 
 which might linger there for a moment ; for, by 
 the rules of the ring, all pulling was to be done 
 at a brisk canter. 
 
 The word was now given for the competitors 
 to mount and take their places in the ring. 
 Eight appeared : tall Zubley Zin, mounted upon 
 Sally Spitfire ; Arch (Mum, mounted on Bull 
 and Ingons (onions) ; Nathan Perdew, on Hell 
 cat ; James Dickson, on Nigger ; David Will 
 iams, on Gridiron ; fat John Fulger, on Slouch ; 
 Gorham Bostwick, on Gimlet ; and Turner Ham 
 mond, on Possum. 
 
 " Come, gentlemen," said Commandant Prator, 
 " fall in. All of you git behind one another, sort 
 o in a row." 
 
 All came into the track very kindly but Sally 
 Spitfire and Gridiron. The former, as soon as 
 she saw a general movement of horses, took it 
 for granted there was mischief brewing, and, be 
 cause she could not tell where it lay, she con 
 cluded it lay everywhere, and therefore took 
 fright at everything. 
 
 Gridiron was a grave horse ; but a suspicious 
 
154 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 eye which he cast to the right and left, wherever 
 he moved,, showed that "he was wide awake," 
 and that "nobody better not go fooling with 
 him/ as his owner sometimes used to say. He 
 took a sober but rather intense view of things ; 
 insomuch that, in his contemplations, he passed 
 over the track three times before he could be 
 prevailed upon to stop in it. He stopped at 
 last, however ; and when he was made to under 
 stand that this was all that was required of him 
 for the present, he surrendered his suspicions at 
 once, with a countenance which seemed plainly 
 to say, " Oh, if this is all you want, Fve no ob 
 jection to it !" 
 
 It was long before Miss Spitfire could be pre 
 vailed upon to do the like. 
 
 " Get another horse, Zube," said one ; " Sal 
 will never do for a gander-pullin ." 
 
 " I won t," said Zube. " If she won t do, Til 
 make her do. I want a nag that goes off with a 
 spring ; so that, when I get a hold, she ll cut the 
 neck in two like a steel- trap." 
 
 At length Sally was rather flung than coaxed 
 into the track, directly ahead of Gridiron. 
 
 "Now, gentlemen," said the master of the 
 ceremonies, "no man s to make a grab till all s 
 been once round ; and when the first man are 
 got round, then the whole twist and tucking of 
 you grab away as you come under (Look here, 
 Jim Fulger ! you better not stand too close to 
 that gander, I tell you !) one after another. 
 Now blaze away !" (the command for an onset of 
 every kind with people of this order). 
 
THE GANDER PULLING 155 
 
 Off they went, Miss Sally delighted ; for she 
 now thought the whole parade would end in 
 nothing more nor less than her favorite amuse 
 ment, a race. But Gridiron s visage pronounced 
 this the most nonsensical business that ever a 
 horse of sense was engaged in since the world 
 began. 
 
 For the first three rounds Zubley was wholly 
 occupied in restraining Sally to her place ; but 
 he lost nothing by this, for the gander had es 
 caped unhurt. On completing his third round, 
 Zube reached forth his long arm, grabbed the 
 gander by the neck with a firmness which seem 
 ed likely to defy goose-grease, and at the same 
 instant he involuntarily gave Sally a sudden 
 check. She raised her head, which before had 
 been kept nearly touching her leader s hocks, 
 and for the first time saw the gander in the act 
 of descending upon her ; at the same moment 
 she received two pealing lashes from the whip- 
 pers. The way she now broke for Springfield 
 " is nothing to nobody. As Zube dashed down 
 the road, the whole circus raised a whoop after 
 him. This started about twenty dogs, hounds, 
 curs, and pointers in full chase of him (for no 
 one moved without his dog in those days). The 
 dogs alarmed some belled cattle, which were 
 grazing on Zube s path, just as he reached them; 
 these joined him, with tails up and a tremendous 
 rattling. Just beyond these went three tobacco- 
 rollers, at distances of fifty and a hundred yards 
 apart, each of whom gave Zube a terrific whoop, 
 scream, or yell as he passed. 
 
156 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 He went in and out of Hawk s Gully like a 
 trap-ball, and was in Springfield " in less than no 
 time." Here he was encouraged onward by a 
 new recruit of dogs ; but they gave up the chase 
 as hopeless before they cleared the village. Just 
 beyond Springfield, what should Sally encoun 
 ter but a flock of geese the tribe to which she 
 owed all her misfortunes. She stopped sudden 
 ly, and Zube went over her head with the last 
 acquired velocity. He was up in a moment, and 
 the activity with which he pursued Sally satisfied 
 every spectator that he was unhurt. 
 
 Gridiron, who had witnessed Miss Sally s 
 treatment with astonishment and indignation, 
 resolved not to pass between the posts until the 
 whole matter should be explained to his satisfac 
 tion. He therefore stopped short, and, by very 
 intelligible looks, demanded of the whippers 
 whether, if he passed between them, he was to 
 be treated as Miss Spitfire had been ? The 
 whippers gave him no satisfaction, and his rider 
 signified, by reiterated thumps of the heel, that 
 he should go through whether he would or not. 
 Of these, however, Gridiron seemed to know 
 nothing. In the midst of the conference, Grid 
 iron s eye lit upon the oscillating gander, and 
 every moment s survey of it begot in him a grow 
 ing interest, as his slowly rising head, suppress 
 ed breath, and projected ears plainly evinced. 
 After a short examination, he heaved a sigh, 
 and looked behind him to see if the way was 
 clear. It was plain that his mind was now made 
 up ; but, to satisfy the world that he would do 
 
THE GANDER-PULLING 157 
 
 nothing rashly, he took another view, and then 
 wheeled and went for Harrisburg as if he had 
 set in for a year s running. Nobody whooped 
 at Gridiron, for all saw that his running was 
 purely the result of philosophic deduction. The 
 reader will not suppose all this consumed half 
 the time which has been consumed in telling it, 
 though it might have been so without interrupt 
 ing the amusement ; for Miss Spitfire s flight 
 had completely suspended it for a time. 
 
 The remaining competitors now went on with 
 the sport. A few rounds showed plainly that 
 Odum or Bostwick would be the victor ; but 
 which, no one could tell. Whenever either of 
 them came round the gander s neck was sure of 
 a severe wrench. Many a half-pint of Jamaica 
 was staked upon them, besides other things. 
 The poor gander withstood many a strong pull 
 before his wailings ceased. At length, however, 
 they were hushed by Odum. Then came Bost 
 wick, and broke the neck. The next grasp of 
 Odum, it was thought, would bear away the 
 head ; but it did not. Then Bostwick was sure 
 of it ; but he missed it. Now Odum must sure 
 ly have it. All is interest and animation; the 
 horses sweep round with redoubled speed ; every 
 eye is upon Odum, his backers smiling, Bost- 
 wick s trembling. To the rope he comes, lifts 
 his hand, when, lo ! fat John Fulger had borne 
 it away the second before. All were astonished, 
 all disappointed, and some were vexed a little ; 
 for it was now clear that "if it hadn t V been 
 for his great, fat,. greasy paw/ to use their own 
 
158 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 language, "(Mum would have gained the vic 
 tory." Others cursed "that long-legged Zube 
 Zin, who was so high he didn t know when his 
 feet were cold, for bringing such a nag as Sal 
 Spitfire to a gander-pullen ; for if he d V been 
 in his place it would V flung Bostwick right 
 where that gourd o hog s lard (Fulger) was." 
 
 Fulger s conduct was little calculated to rec 
 oncile them to their disappointment. 
 
 "Come here, Neddy Prator," said he, with a 
 triumphant smile ; " let your uncle Johnny put 
 his potato-stealer [hand] into that hat and tickle 
 the chins of them are shiners a little ! Oh, 
 
 you little shining sons o b s ! walk into your 
 
 Mas Johnny s pocket, and jingle so as Arch 
 Odum and Gory Bostwick may hear you ! You 
 hear em, Gory ? Boys, don t pull with men any 
 more. I ve jist got my hand in ; I wish I had 
 a pondful o ganders here now, jist to show how 
 I could make their heads fly. Bet all I ve won, 
 you may hang three upon that rope and I ll set 
 Slouch at full speed, and take- off the heads of 
 all three the first grab two with my hands and 
 one with my teeth." 
 
 Thus he went on, but really there was no 
 boasting in all this, it was all fun ; for John 
 knew, and all were convinced that he knew, that 
 his success was entirely the result of accident. 
 John was really "a good-natured fellow," and 
 his cavorting had an effect directly opposite to 
 that which the reader would suppose it had ; it 
 reconciled all to their disappointment save one. 
 I except little Billy Mixen, of Spirit Creek, who 
 
THE GANDER PULLING 159 
 
 had staked the net proceeds of six quarts of 
 huckleberries* upon (Mum, which he had been 
 long keeping for a safe bet. He could not be 
 reconciled until he fretted himself into a pretty 
 little piny-woods fight, in which he got whipped, 
 and then he went home perfectly satisfied. Ful- 
 ger spent all his winnings with Prator in treats 
 to the company, made most of them drunk, and 
 thereby produced four Georgia rotations ;\ after 
 which all parted good friends. 
 
 * I give them their Georgia name. I should hardly be 
 understood if I called them whortleberries. 
 
 \ I borrowed this term from Jim Inman at the time. 
 " Why, Jim," said I to him, just as he rose from a fight, 
 " what have you been doing ?" "Oh," said he, " nothing 
 but taking a little rotation with Bob M Manus." 
 
 HALL. 
 
THE BALL 
 
 BEIXG on a visit to the city of - - about 
 ten years ago, my old friend Jack De Bathle 
 gave me an invitation to a ball, of which he was 
 one of the managers. Jack had been the com 
 panion of my childhood, my boyhood, and my 
 early manhood ; and through many a merry 
 dance had we hopped, and laughed, and tumbled 
 down together in the morning of life. Dancing 
 was really, in those days, a merry-making busi 
 ness. Except the minuet, which was introduced 
 only to teach us the graces, and the congo, which 
 was only to chase away the solemnities of the 
 minuet, it was all a jovial, heart -stirring, foot- 
 stirring amusement. We had none of your 
 mathematical cotillons ; none of your immodest 
 waltzes ; none of your detestable, disgusting 
 gallopades. The waltz would have crimsoned 
 the cheek of every young lady who attended a 
 ball in my day ; and had the gallopade been 
 commenced in the ballroom, it would have been 
 ended in the street. I am happy to say that the 
 waltz has met with but very little encourage 
 ment in Georgia as yet ; the gallopade with none. 
 Ye fair of my native land ! ye daughters of a 
 modest race ! blush them away from the soil, 
 
THE BALL 161 
 
 which your mothers honored by their example 
 and consecrated with their ashes ! Born to 
 woman s loftiest destinies, it ill becomes yon to 
 stoop from your high estate to ape the indecen 
 cies of Europe s slaves. It is yours to command, 
 not to obey. Let vice approach you in what 
 form she may as the handmaid of wit and talents, 
 the mistress of courts, or the queen of fashion 
 fail not to meet her with the frown of indignant 
 virtue and the flush of offended modesty. There 
 is a majesty in these which has ever command 
 ed her homage. There is a loveliness in these 
 which will ever command the admiration of the 
 world. The interest which I feel in the charac 
 ter of the fair daugters of America is my apology 
 for this sober digression. 
 
 Though De Bathle is but two months youuger 
 than I am, he still dances occasionally; and to 
 this circumstance in part, but more particularly 
 to the circumstance of his being a married man, 
 is to be ascribed his appointment of manager 
 the custom now being to have one-third or one- 
 half the managers married men. This would 
 be a great improvement on the management of 
 balls hi olden time could the married men only 
 manage to keep out of the card-room. Would 
 they take the direction of the amusement into 
 their hands, their junior colleagues would then 
 have an opportunity of sharing the pleasures of 
 the evening, a privilege which they seldom en 
 joy as things are now conducted. However, 
 married men are not appointed with the expec 
 tation that they will perform the duties of the 
 11 
 
162 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 office, but to quiet the scruples of some half- 
 dozen or more "charming creatures" who, 
 though they never fail to attend a ball, will 
 not condescend to do so until they are perfectly 
 satisfied it is to be conducted with the utmost 
 gravity, dignity, decorum, and propriety. For 
 these assurances they look first to "the face of 
 the paper" (the ball-ticket); and if they do not 
 find on it a goodly number of responsible names 
 (such as, by reasonable presumption, are Avell 
 broke to petticoat government), they protest 
 against it, tell a hundred amiable little fibs to 
 conceal the cause of their opposition, torture 
 two or three beaux half to death with suspense, 
 and finally conclude to go "just to keep from giv 
 ing offence. 7 But if the endorsers be "potent, 
 grave, and reverend seigniors," schooled as afore 
 said, why, then, one difficulty is at least removed; 
 for though it is well known that these are "en 
 dorsers without recourse in the first instance," 
 it is equally well known that they may be ulti 
 mately made liable ; for if the juniors fail to 
 fulfil their engagements a lady has nothing to 
 do but to walk into the card-room, take a senior 
 by the nape of the neck, lead him into the ball 
 room, present her ticket Avith his name upon it 
 in the presence of the witnesses there assembled, 
 and she is sure of ample satisfaction. 
 
 When De Bathle and I reached the ballroom, 
 a large number of gentlemen had already as 
 sembled. They all seemed cheerful and hap 
 py. Some walked in couples up and down the 
 ballroom, and talked with great volubility ; but 
 
THE BALL 163 
 
 not one of them understood a word that himself 
 or his companion said. 
 
 " Ah, sir, how do you know that ?" 
 
 Because the speakers showed plainly by their 
 looks and actions that their thoughts were run 
 ning upon their own personal appearance, and 
 upon the figure they would cut before the ladies 
 when they should arrive, and not upon the sub 
 ject of the discourse. And, furthermore, their 
 conversation was like that of one talking in his 
 sleep ; without order, sense, or connection. The 
 hearer always made the speaker repeat in sen 
 tences and half -sentences, often interrupting 
 him with "What ?" before he had proceeded three 
 words in a remark ; and then laughed affected 
 ly, as though he saw in the senseless, unfinished 
 sentence a most excellent joke. Then would 
 come his reply, which could not be forced into 
 connection with a word that he had heard ; and 
 in the course of which he was treated with pre 
 cisely the civility which he had received. And 
 yet they kept up the conversation with lively in 
 terest as long as I listened to them. 
 
 Others employed themselves in commenting 
 good-humoredly upon each other s dresses and 
 figure, while some took steps awkwardly. 
 
 In the meantime, the three junior managers 
 met and agreed upon the parts which they were 
 to perform. Herein I thought they were unfort 
 unate. To Mr. Flirt, a bustling, fidgety, restless 
 little man, about five feet two and a half inches 
 high, was assigned the comparatively easy task of 
 making out and distributing the numbers. Mr. 
 
164 GEORGIA SCENES. 
 
 Crouch, a good - humored,, sensible, but rather 
 unpolished gentleman, undertook to attend the 
 carriages, and to transport their precious treas 
 ures to the ballroom, where Mr. Dupree was to 
 receive them, and see to their safe-keeping until 
 the dancing commenced. The parts of the mar 
 ried men, up to the opening of the ball, was set 
 tled by common law. They were to keep a sharp 
 lookout, lend a helping hand in case of emer 
 gency, drink plenty of wine, see that other gen 
 tlemen, particularly strangers, did the same, and, 
 finally, to give any gentleman who might have 
 come to the ball encumbered with a little loose 
 change an opportunity of relieving himself. 
 
 Things were thus arranged, Crouch standing 
 with a group of gentlemen, of which I was one, 
 in the entry leading to the ballroom, when Mr. 
 Flirt broke upon us, as if the whole town were on 
 fire, and all the ******* had risen, with " Good 
 God, Crouch ! there s Mrs. Mushy s carriage at 
 the door, full of ladies, and not a manager there 
 to receive them ! Fll swear it is too bad !" 
 
 "Horrible !" said Crouch ; and away he went. 
 
 But Mrs. Mushy, with Miss Feedle and Miss 
 Deedle, had reached the foot of the stairs un 
 attended before Crouch, or even Flirt, who was 
 considerable in advance of him, met them. Mrs. 
 Mushy, who was a lady of very full habit, looked 
 hufrishly as Flirt took her hand, and Miss Feedle 
 and Miss Deedle blushed sarcastically. Flirt made 
 a hundred apologies, and Crouch looked first at 
 Mrs. Mushy, then at Flirt, and tittered. " What 
 a lovely figure Mrs. Mushy is !" said he, as he 
 
THE BALL 165 
 
 turned off from delivering his charge to Du- 
 pree. 
 
 " Oh, Mr. Crouch/ said Flirt, " if you begin 
 making your fun of the ladies already, we d bet 
 ter break up the ball at once. By Heaven, it s 
 a shame !" 
 
 " Upon my honor, Mr. Flirt," said Crouch, " I 
 think she s beautiful. I always liked a light and 
 airy figure, particularly for a ballroom." 
 
 By this time Dupree had joined us. Flirt left 
 us, obviously in a pet ; but we hardly missed him 
 before back he rushed from the ballroom, ex 
 claiming, " Why, gracious heavens, Dupree ! 
 there are those three ladies sitting in the ball 
 room and not a gentleman in the room to enter 
 tain them ! Do go and introduce some of the 
 gentlemen to them, if you please." 
 
 " Flugens !" said Dupree, "what an over 
 sight !" and off he went for entertainers. After 
 several ineffectual attempts he at length pre 
 vailed on Mr. Noozle and Mr. Boozle to be made 
 acquainted with the ladies. 
 
 Mr. N. seated himself to the right of Miss F., 
 and Mr. B. to the left of Miss D.; Mrs. M. oc 
 cupying a seat between the girls, and looking, 
 for all the world, as if she thought, "Well, this 
 is the last ball I ll ever attend, unless it s a little 
 better managed." But the young ladies looked 
 like a May morning as soon as the gentlemen 
 approached. After a pause of two minutes : 
 
 " It s a very pleasant evening," said Mr. Noozle 
 to Miss Feedle. 
 
 " Delightful," said Miss Feedle to Mr. Noozle. 
 
166 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 "It s a delightful evening," said Miss Deedle 
 to Mr. Boozle. 
 
 " Very pleasant/ said Mr. Boozle to Miss 
 Deedle. 
 
 " I thought there were some married managers 
 of the ball," said Mrs. Mushy, emphatically. 
 Here ensued a long pause. 
 
 " Are you fond of dancing ?" said Mr. Noozle. 
 
 "Ah ! what s that you say, Noozle," said 
 Boozle " you are not fond of dancing ? Come, 
 come, that ll never do. You tip the pigeon-wing 
 too well for that." 
 
 "You quite misapprehend me, sir," returned 
 Mr. Noozle. " Mine was not a declaration touch 
 ing in the remotest degree my personal predilec 
 tions or antipathies, but a simple interrogatory to 
 Miss Feedle. No, sir ; though I cannot lay claim 
 to the proficiency of Noverre in the saltant art, 
 I am, nevertheless, extravagantly fond of danc 
 ing ; too much so, I fear, for one who has but just 
 commenced the viginti lucubrationes annorum, as 
 that inimitable and fascinating expositor of the 
 elements of British jurisprudence, Sir William 
 Blackstone, observes. To reach these high at 
 tainments in forensic 
 
 Here the young gentlemen were forced to re 
 sign their seats to a number of ladies who now 
 entered the ballroom. 
 
 " What an intelligent young gentleman !" said 
 Miss Feedle. " I declare I must set my cap for 
 him." 
 
 "I think the other much the most interesting 
 of the two," said Miss Deedle. " He s too affect- 
 
THE BALL 167 
 
 ed, and too fond of showing off his learning. 
 What did he call that inimitable expositor"? 
 Jinny Cmshionis." 
 
 The seats were soon filled with ladies ; almost 
 all of whom (except Mrs. Mushy) entered the 
 room in the same style, which seemed to have 
 been strictly copied from the movement of the 
 killdee. They took their seats with precisely the 
 motion with which the schoolgirls in my younger 
 days used to make " cheeses," as they called them, 
 with their frocks. 
 
 The musicians were all blacks, but neatly 
 dressed. The band consisted of three perform 
 ers on the violin, one on the clarinet, one on the 
 tambourine, and one on the triangle. 
 
 The ladies ceased coming, and nothing seemed 
 now wanting to begin the amusement but the 
 distribution of the numbers ; but Mr. Flirt was 
 running up and down stairs every minute after 
 no one knew what ; and with great anxiety- 
 no one knew why. He would enter the room, 
 look the ladies all over, then down he would go ; 
 then return and go through the same evolutions. 
 The band struck up a spirit -stirring tune, in 
 which the tambourine-player distinguished him 
 self. For dignified complacency of countenance, 
 under his own music, he rivalled Mr. Jenkins; 
 and he performed the rattlesnake note with his 
 middle finger in a style which threw Miss Crump 
 entirely in the shade. The band ceased, and 
 the inquiry became general, "Why doesn t the 
 drawing begin ?" but Mr. Flirt still kept up his 
 anxious movements. 
 
168 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 "In the name of sense, Flirt,," said Crouch, 
 impatiently, as the little man was taking a third 
 survey of the ladies, " what are you bobbing up 
 and down stairs for ? Why don t you distribute 
 the tickets ?" 
 
 "Oh/ 7 said Flirt, "it s early yet. Let s wait 
 for Miss Gilt and Miss Rino. I know they re 
 coming, for Mr. Posy and Mr. Tulip told me they 
 saw them dressed, and their carriages at the door, 
 an hour ago." 
 
 "Blast Miss Gilt and Miss Rino!" returned 
 Crouch. "Is the whole company to be kept 
 waiting for them ? Now, sir, if the tickets are 
 not handed round in three minutes I ll announce 
 to the company that Mr. Flirt will permit no 
 dancing until Miss Gilt and Miss Rino shall think 
 proper to honor us with their presence." 
 
 "Oh, zounds!" said Flirt, "I m not waiting 
 for them. I thought it was too early to begin 
 the drawing. It s quite unfashionable in New 
 York to commence drawing before nine o clock." 
 (Miss R. s father was computed at a cool hundred 
 and fifty, and Miss G. s at a round hundred 
 thousand.) 
 
 In a few minutes the tickets were distributed, 
 and Mr. Flirt proceeded to call, "No. 1 First 
 Cotillon," with most imposing majesty. Then 
 numbers 2, 3, and 4 of the same ; then No. 1 of 
 the second, and so on. 
 
 Five sets of cotillons could occupy the floor at 
 a time, and Flirt had just called No. 2 of the 
 fifth, when Miss Rino entered the room, and im 
 mediately afterwards Miss Gilt. Flirt had put 
 
THE BALL 169 
 
 two supernumerary tickets in the hat, in antici 
 pation of their coming ; and, forgetting every 
 thing else, he suspended the calling, and rushed 
 to deliver them as soon as the ladies made their 
 appearance. 
 
 lie went to Miss Rino first as she entered first 
 but she was obviously piqued at seeing the sets 
 on the floor before her arrival. She refused to 
 take a number, declaring (very sweetly) that she 
 left home with no idea of dancing. Flirt insist 
 ed, earnestly and prettily, upon her taking a 
 number ; but she hesitated, looked in the hat, 
 then looked at Flirt bewitchingly, and declared 
 she did not wish to dance. 
 
 In the meantime Miss Gilt began to feel her 
 self slighted, and she said, in a pretty, audible 
 tone, "As for her part, she would like very well 
 to draw a number if she could be permitted to 
 do so." Several gentlemen who had gathered 
 around her hastened to Flirt to remind him of 
 the indignity which he was offering to Miss Gilt ; 
 but before they reached him Miss Rino drew No. 
 3 of the fifth cotillon from the hat. 
 
 Unfortunately, Crouch s patience had worn out 
 just before Miss R. made up her mind to take 
 a ticket, and he took the office which Flirt had 
 abdicated. He called No. 3 twice, but the call 
 was not responded to. He then called No. 4, 
 when Miss Jones appeared and took her place. 
 He next called No. 1 of the sixth set, when a lady 
 appeared, which completed the cotillon. The 
 last lady had but just taken her place when Miss 
 Rino, led on by Mr. Noozle, advanced, and an- 
 
170 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 nounced that hers was No. 3 of the fifth set. 
 Miss Jones was instinctively retiring from die 
 august presence of Miss Kino when she was stop 
 ped by Crouch with " Keep your place, Miss 
 Jones ; I think you are entitled to it/ 
 
 " Isn t this No. 3 of the fifth cotillon ?" said 
 Miss Rino, holding out her ticket to Mr. Crouch. 
 
 (( Yes, miss/ said Crouch, "but I think it has 
 forfeited its place. Indeed, I do not think it was 
 even drawn when Miss Jones took her place. 
 
 This drew from Miss Rino the expression of 
 countenance which immediately precedes a 
 sneeze. 
 
 "Upon every principle of equity and justice," 
 said Mr. Boozle, " Miss Rino is entitled to 
 
 " Music !" said Crouch. 
 
 "Hands round!" said the fiddler; and the 
 whole band struck into something like "The 
 Dead March." 
 
 " This matter shall not end here," said Noozle, 
 as he led Miss Rino back to her seat. 
 
 " Oh, Mr. Noozle," returned Miss Rino, "don t 
 think anything of it ! I declare I had not the 
 least wish in the world to dance. Surely you 
 would not object to anything the polite and ac 
 complished Mr. Crouch would do !" 
 
 Noozle walked the floor in portentous abstrac 
 tion, wiped his face with terrific emphasis, and 
 knocked his hair back with the slap belligerent. 
 
 The ladies who were not dancing became 
 alarmed and sedate (Miss Gilt excepted); the 
 gentlemen collected in groups, and carried on an 
 animated conversation. As all but myself who 
 
THE BALL 171 
 
 could give a correct version of the affair were 
 engaged in the dance, the Noozle party had 
 gained over to their side most of the company 
 present before the dance ended. After various 
 inquiries,, rumors, and corrections, the company 
 generally settled down upon the following state 
 ment, as confirmed by the joint testimony of 
 Kino, Flirt, and Noozle : 
 
 " Crouch had an old spite against Miss Rino 
 for nothing at all ; began cursing and abusing 
 her because she was not the first lady in the 
 room ; refused to wait two minutes for her ar 
 rival ; as soon as he saw her enter the ballroom, 
 usurped Mr. Flirt s appointment, and com 
 menced calling the numbers on purpose to cut 
 her out. She, seeing his object, snatched up a 
 number and rushed to her place ; but it was oc 
 cupied by Miss Jones, who, seeing the superior 
 ity of her claims, offered to give way, and was 
 actually retiring when Crouch seized her by the 
 arm, jerked her back, and said, Keep your place, 
 miss ! You re entitled to it, if Miss Rino lias got 
 the number ; and you shall have it/ And when 
 Mr. Noozle was pleading with him just to look at 
 Miss Kino s ticket, he just turned upon his heel 
 and called for the music. This was all reported 
 to Crouch, as confirmed by the trio before men 
 tioned. He pronounced it all an infamous lie, 
 from beginning to end, and was with difficulty re 
 strained from going immediately after Flirt, to 
 pick him up, as he said, and wear him out upon 
 Noozle. 
 
 As soon as the first cotillon ended, the Crouch 
 
172 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 party began to gain ground ; but not without 
 warm words between several gentlemen, and a 
 general depression of spirits through the com 
 pany. 
 
 The dancing of the ladies was, with few excep 
 tions, much after the same fashion. I found not 
 the least difficulty in resolving it into the three 
 motions of a turkey-cock strutting, a sparrow- 
 hawk lighting, and a duck walking. Let the 
 reader suppose a lady beginning a strut at her 
 own place, and ending it (precisely as does the 
 turkey-cock) three feet nearer the gentleman op 
 posite her ; then giving three sparrow-hawk bobs, 
 and then waddling back to her place like a duck, 
 and he will have a pretty correct idea of their 
 dancing. Not that the three movements were 
 blended at every turn of the dance, but that one 
 or more of the three answered to every turn. 
 The strut prevailed most in balancing ; the bobs, 
 when balanced to ; and the waddle, when going 
 round. To all this Mrs. Mushy was an excep 
 tion. When she danced, every particle of her 
 danced, in spite of herself. 
 
 There was as little variety in the gentlemen s 
 dancing as there was in the ladies . Any one 
 who has seen a gentleman clean mud off his 
 shoes on a door-mat has seen nearly all of it ; 
 the principal difference being, that some scraped 
 with a pull of the foot, some with a push, and 
 some with both. 
 
 "I suppose," said I to a gentleman, "they 
 take no steps because the music will not admit 
 of them ?" 
 
THE BALL 173 
 
 " Oh no," said he; "it s quite ungenteel jto 
 take steps." I thought of the wag s remarks 
 about Miss Crump s music : " If this be their 
 dancing," thought I, " what must their mourn 
 ing be ?" 
 
 A splendid supper was prepared at twelve 
 o clock, and the young ladies ate almonds, rai 
 sins, apples, oranges, jelly, sillabub, custard, can 
 dy, sugar-plums, kisses, and cake, as if they had 
 been owing them an old grudge. But the mar 
 ried gentlemen did not come up to supper. 
 
 " And how did the quarrel end ?" 
 
 " Oh, I had like to have forgotten the denoue 
 ment of the quarrel !" 
 
 A correspondence opened the next morning 
 between the parties, in which Noozle was diffuse 
 and Crouch laconic. They once came this near 
 an amicable adjustment of the difference. Noo- 
 zle s second (for the fashion is for the principals 
 to get into quarrels and for the seconds to get 
 them out) agreed if Crouch would strike the 
 word "it" out of one of his letters, his friend 
 would be perfectly satisfied. 
 
 Mr. Crouch s second admitted that the re 
 moval of the word would not change the sense 
 of the letter the least, but that Mr. Crouch, hav 
 ing put his life and character in his hands, he 
 felt bound to protect them with the most scru 
 pulous fidelity ; he could not, therefore, consent to 
 expunge the objectionable word unless the chal 
 lenge were withdrawn. To show, however, his re 
 luctance to the shedding of blood, and to acquit 
 his friend, in the eyes of the public, of all blame, 
 
174 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 he would take it upon himself to say that if 
 Mr. Noozle would withdraw his objections to 
 the " t," Mr. Crouch should expunge the " i." 
 This proposition was rejected ; but, in return, 
 it was submitted that if Mr. Crouch would ex 
 punge the " t," the "i" might remain. To 
 which it was replied that the alteration would 
 convert the whole sentence into nonsense ; mak 
 ing it read " i is," instead of " it is" etc. Here 
 the seconds separated, and soon after the princi 
 pals met ; and Crouch shot Noozle, in due form 
 and according to the latest fashion, through the 
 knees. I went to see him after he had received 
 his wound, and, poor fellow, he suffered dread 
 ful tortures. So much, said I, for a young lady s 
 lingering from a ball an hour too long, in order 
 to make herself conspicuous. 
 
 BALDWIN. 
 
THE MOTHER AND HER CHILD 
 
 WHENCE comes the gibberish which is almost 
 invariably used by mothers and nurses to infants? 
 Take, for example, the following, which will an 
 swer the twofold purpose of illustrating my idea 
 and of exhibiting one of the peculiarities of the 
 age. 
 
 A few days ago I called to spend an hour in 
 the afternoon with Mr. Slang, whose wife is the 
 mother of a child about eight months old. 
 
 While I was there, the child in the nurse s 
 arms, in an adjoining room,, began to cry. 
 
 "You, Rose," said Mrs. Slang, "quiet that 
 child !" Rose walked with it and sang to it, 
 but it did not hush. 
 
 "You, Rose, if you do not quiet that child, I 
 lay I make you !" 
 
 "I is tried, ma am/ said Rose, "an he 
 wouldn t get hushed." (Child cries louder.) 
 
 " Fetch him to me, you good-for-nothing hus 
 sy you ! What s the matter with him ?" reaching 
 out her arms to receive him. 
 
 "I dun know, ma am." 
 
 "Xhei nhun nho nha am !" (mocking and 
 (jrinniny at Rose). 
 
 As Rose delivered the child, she gave visible 
 
176 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 signs of dodging just as the child left her arms ; 
 and, that she might not be disappointed, Mrs. 
 Slang gave her a box, in which there seemed to- 
 be no anger mixed at all, and which Eose re 
 ceived as a matter of course, without even chang 
 ing countenance under it. 
 
 "Da den !" said Mrs. Slang; "come elong e 
 muddy [mother]. Did nassy Yosey [Rose] pague 
 muddy thweety chilluns ?" [children] pressing 
 the child to her bosom, and rocking it backward 
 and forward tenderly. "Muddins will whippy 
 ole nassy Yosey. Ah ! you old uggy Yosey !" 
 (knocking at Rose playfully}. "Da den, muddy 
 did whippy bad Yosey." (Child continues cry 
 ing.} 
 
 " Why, what upon earth ails the child ? Rose, 
 you ve hurt this child somehow or other !" 
 
 "No, ma am, cla I didn t ; I was just sitt n 
 down dar in the rock n -chair "long side o Miss 
 Nancy s bureau, an waVt doin noth n t all to 
 him, jis playin wid him, and he jis begin to cry 
 heself, when nobody wa n t doin 7 nothin t all to 
 him, and nobody waVt in dar nuther cept jist me 
 and him, and I was 
 
 " Nhing nhing nhing and I expect you hit 
 his head against the bureau." 
 
 "Let muddy see where ole bad Yosey knocky 
 heady gin de bureaus. Muddy will see," taking 
 off the child s cap, and finding nothing. ( Child 
 cries on.) 
 
 " Muddy s baby was hongry. Dat was what 
 ails muddy s darling, thweety ones. Was cho 
 hongry, an nobody would givy litty darling any 
 
THE MOTHER AND HER CHILD 177 
 
 sings t all for eaty ?" (loosing her frock bosom). 
 "No, nobody would gim thweety ones any sings 
 fo eat t all." (Offers the breast to the child, who 
 rejects it, rolls over, kicks, and screams worse than 
 ever. ) 
 
 "Hush ! you little brat ! I believe it s nothing 
 in the world but crossness. Hush !" (shaking it), 
 " hush, I tell you !" (Child cries to the KE PLUS 
 
 ULTRA.) 
 
 <( Why, surely a pin must stick the child. Yes, 
 was e bad pin did ticky chilluns. Let muddy see 
 where de uggy pin did ticky dear prettous creter" 
 (examining). "Why no, it isn t a pin ! What 
 can be the matter with the child ? It must have 
 the colic, surely. Rose, go bring me the pare 
 goric off the mantelpiece. Yes, muddy s baby 
 did hab e tolic. Dat was what did ail muddy s 
 prettous darly baby" (pressing it to her bosom, 
 and rocking it; child cries on). 
 
 Rose brought the paregoric, handed it, dodged, 
 and got her expectations realized as before. 
 
 " Now go bring me the sugar, and some water." 
 
 Rose brought them, and delivered both without 
 the customary reward ; for at that instant the 
 child, being laid perfectly still on the lap, hushed. 
 
 The paregoric was administered, and the child 
 received it with only a whimper now and then. 
 As soon as it received the medicine, the mother 
 raised it up and it began to cry. 
 
 "Why, Lord help my soul, what s the matter 
 with the child ? What have you done to him, 
 you little hussy ?" (rising and ivalking towards 
 Rose). 
 
 12 
 
178 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 " Chi , missis, I ein t done noth n t all ; was 
 jis sittin down da by Miss Nancy s bu 
 
 "You lie, you slut" (hitting her a passing 
 slap), "I know you ve hurt him! Hush, my 
 baby" (singing the Coquet], "don t you cry, your 
 sweetheart will come by m by ; da de dum dum 
 dum day, da de dum diddle dum dum day." 
 (Child cries on.) 
 
 " Lord help my soul and body, what can be the 
 matter with my baby ?" (tears coming in hen own 
 eyes). " Something s the matter with it, I know 
 it is" (laying the child on her lap, and feeling its 
 arms, to see whether it flinched at the touch of any 
 particular part). But the child cried less while 
 she was feeling it than before. 
 
 "Yes, dat was it; wanted litty arms yubb d. 
 Mud vill yub its sweet little arms." (Child be 
 gins again. ) 
 
 " What upon earth can make my baby cry so !" 
 rising and walking to the window, (titops at the 
 window, and the child hushes.) 
 
 " Yes, dat was it : did want to look out e win- 
 dys. See the petty chickens. O-o-o-h ! look at 
 the beauty, rooster ! ! Yonder s old Aunt Betty ! 
 See old Aunt Betty, pickin up chips. Yes, ole 
 Aunt Betty, pickin up chip fo bake bicky [bis 
 cuit] IV good chilluns. Good Aunt Betty fo 
 make bicky fo sweet baby s supper." (Child 
 begins again.) 
 
 "Hoo-o-o! see de windy I" (knocking on the 
 w indow. Ch ild screams. ) 
 
 "You, Rose, what have you done to this child ? 
 You little hussy you, if you don t tell me how 
 
THE MOTHER AND HER CHILD 179 
 
 you hurt him I ll whip you as long as I can find 
 you/ 
 
 " Missis, I cla I never done noth n t all to 
 him. I was jis sett n down da by Miss Nancy s 
 bu " 
 
 "If you say Miss Nancy s bureau to me again 
 Fll stuff Miss Nancy s bureau down your throat, 
 you little lying slut ! I m just as sure you ve 
 hurt him as if I d seen you. How did you hurt 
 him ?" 
 
 Here Rose was reduced to a non plus; for, 
 upon the peril of having a bureau stuffed down 
 her throat, she dare not repeat the oft-told tale, 
 and she knew no other. She therefore stood 
 mute. 
 
 "Julia," said Mr. Slang, "bring the child to 
 me, and let me see if I can discover the cause of 
 his crying." 
 
 Mr. Slang took the child, and commenced a 
 careful examination of it. He removed its cap, 
 and beginning at the crown of its head, he ex 
 tended the search slowly and cautiously down 
 ward, accompanying the eye with the touch of 
 the finger. He had not proceeded far in this 
 way before he discovered in the right ear of the 
 child a small feather, the cause, of course, of all 
 its wailing. The cause removed, the child soon 
 changed its tears to smiles, greatly to the delight 
 of all, and to none more than to Rose. 
 
 BALDWIX. 
 
THE DEBATING SOCIETY 
 
 THE following is not strictly a " Georgia 
 Scene" ; but as Georgians were the chief actors 
 in it, it may perhaps be introduced with propri 
 ety in these sketches. 
 
 About three-and-twenty years ago, at the cele 
 brated school in "W n, was formed a Debat 
 ing Society, composed of young gentlemen be 
 tween the ages of seventeen and twenty-two. Of 
 the number were two, who, rather from uncom 
 mon volubility than from any superior gifts or 
 acquirements which they possessed over their 
 associates, were, by common consent, placed at 
 the head of the fraternity at least, this was 
 true of one of them ; the other certainly had 
 higher claims to his distinction. He was a man 
 of the highest order of intellect, who, though he 
 has since been known throughout the Union as 
 one of the ablest speakers in the country, seems 
 to me to have added but little to his powers in 
 debate since he passed his twenty-second year. 
 The name of the first was Long worth, and 
 M Dermot was the name of the last. They were 
 congenial spirits, warm friends, and classmates 
 at the time of which I am speaking. 
 
 It was a rule of the society that every mem- 
 
THE DEBATING SOCIETY 181 
 
 ber should speak upon the subjects chosen for 
 discussion or pay a fine ; and as all the mem 
 bers valued the little stock of change with which 
 they were furnished more than they did their 
 reputation for oratory, not a fine had been im 
 posed for a breach of this rule from the organi 
 zation of the society to this time. 
 
 The subjects for discussion were proposed by 
 the members and selected by the president, 
 whose prerogative it was also to arrange the 
 speakers on either side at his pleasure ; though, 
 in selecting the subjects, he was influenced not 
 a little by the members, who gave their opinions 
 freely of those which were offered. 
 
 It was just as the time was approaching when 
 most of the members were to leave the society 
 some for college, and some for the busy scenes 
 of life that M Dermot went to share his class 
 mate s bed for a night. In the course of the 
 evening s conversation, the society came upon 
 the tapis. " Mac," said Longworth, "wouldn t 
 we have rare sport if we could impose a subject 
 upon the society which has no sense in it, and 
 hear the members speak upon it ?" 
 
 "Zounds !" said M Dermot, "it would be the 
 finest fun in the world. Let s try it, at all 
 events ; we can lose nothing by the experiment." 
 
 A sheet of foolscap was immediately divided be 
 tween them, and they industriously commenced 
 the difficult task of framing sentences which 
 should possess the form of a debatable question 
 without a particle of the substance. After an 
 hour s toil they at length exhibited the fruits of 
 
182 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 their labor, and, after some reflection and much 
 laughing, they selected from about thirty sub 
 jects proposed the following as most likely to be 
 received by the society : 
 
 "WHETHER, AT PUBLIC ELECTIONS, SHOULD 
 THE VOTES OF FACTION PREDOMINATE BY INTER 
 NAL SUGGESTIONS OR THE BIAS bF JURISPRU 
 DENCE ?" 
 
 Longworth was to propose it to the society, 
 and M Dermot was to advocate its adoption. As 
 they had every reason to suppose, from the prac 
 tice of the past, that they would be placed at the 
 head of the list of disputants, and on opposite 
 sides, it was agreed between them, in case the ex 
 periment should succeed, that they would write 
 off and interchange their speeches, in order that 
 each might quote literally from the other, and 
 thus seem, at least, to understand each other. 
 
 The day at length came for the triumph or 
 defeat of the project ; and several accidental cir 
 cumstances conspired to crown it with success. 
 The society had entirely exhausted their subjects ; 
 the discussion of the day had been protracted to 
 an unusual length, and the horns of the several 
 boarding-houses began to sound just as it ended. 
 It was at this auspicious moment that Longworth 
 rose and proposed his subject. It was caught at 
 with rapture by M Dermot, as being decidedly 
 the best that had ever been submitted, and he 
 wondered that none of the members had never 
 thought of it before. 
 
 It was no sooner proposed than several mem 
 bers exclaimed that they did not understand it ; 
 
THE DEBATING SOCIETY 183 
 
 and demanded an explanation from the mover. 
 Longworth replied that there was no time then 
 for explanations, but that either himself or Mr. 
 M Dermot would explain it at any other time. 
 
 Upon the credit of the maker and endorser, the 
 subject was accepted; and, under pretence of 
 economizing time (but really to avoid a repetition 
 of the question), Longworth kindly offered to 
 record it for the secretary. This labor ended, he 
 announced that he was prepared for the arrange 
 ment of the disputants. 
 
 "Put yourself," said the president, "on the 
 affirmative, and Mr. M Dermot on the negative." 
 
 " The subject," said Longworth, " cannot well 
 be resolved into an affirmative and negative. It 
 consists, more properly, of two conflicting affirm 
 atives ; I have therefore drawn out the heads 
 under which the speakers are to be arranged 
 thus : 
 
 " Internal Suggestions. Bias of Jurisprudence." 
 
 " Then put yourself Internal Suggestions, Mr. 
 M Dermot the other side; Mr. Craig on your 
 side, Mr. Pentigall the other side/ and so on. 
 
 M Dermot and Longworth now determined 
 that they would not be seen by any other member 
 of the society during the succeeding week, except 
 at times when explanations could not be asked, 
 or when they were too busy to give them. Con 
 sequently, the week passed away without any ex 
 planations ; and the members were summoned to 
 dispose of the important subject with no other 
 
184 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 lights upon it than those which they could collect 
 from its terms. When they assembled, there was 
 manifest alarm on the countenances of all but 
 two of them. 
 
 The society was opened in due form, and Mr. 
 Longworth was called on to open the debate, lie 
 rose, and proceeded as follows : 
 
 "Mr. President, The subject selected for this 
 day s discussion is one of vast importance, per 
 vading the profound depths of psychology, and 
 embracing within its comprehensive range all 
 that is interesting in morals, government, law, 
 and politics. But, sir, I shall not follow it 
 through all its interesting and diversified ramifi 
 cations, but endeavor to deduce from it those 
 great and fundamental principles which have 
 direct bearing upon the antagonist positions of 
 the disputants ; confining myself more immedi 
 ately to its pyschological influence, when exerted, 
 especially upon the votes of faction : for here is 
 the point upon which the question mainly turns. 
 In the next place, I shall consider the effects of 
 those * suggestions emphatically termed inter 
 nal when applied to the same subject. And, in 
 the third place, I shall compare these effects with 
 the bias of jurisprudence/ considered as the only 
 resort in times of popular excitement ; for these 
 are supposed to exist by the very terms of the 
 question. 
 
 "The first head of this arrangement, and in 
 deed the whole subject of dispute, has already 
 been disposed of by this society. We have dis 
 cussed the question, Are there any innate max- 
 
THE DEBATING SOCIETY 185 
 
 ims ? and with that subject and this there is 
 such an intimate affinity that it is impossible to 
 disunite them without prostrating the vital ener 
 gies of both, and introducing the wildest disor 
 der and confusion, where, by the very nature of 
 things, there exist the most harmonious coinci 
 dences and the most happy and euphonic conge 
 nialities. Here, then, might I rest, Mr. President, 
 upon the decision of this society with perfect 
 confidence. But, sir, I am not forced to rely 
 upon the inseparable affinities of the two ques 
 tions for success in this dispute, obvious as they 
 must be to every reflecting mind. All history, 
 ancient and modern, furnishes examples cor 
 roborative of the views which I have taken of 
 this deeply interesting subject. By what means 
 did the renowned poets, philosophers, orators, 
 and statesmen of antiquity gain their immortal 
 ity ? Whence did Milton, Shakespeare, Newton, 
 Locke, Watts, Paley, Burke, Chatham, Pitt, 
 Fox, and a host of others whom I might name, 
 pluck their never-fading laurels ? I answer bold 
 ly, and without the fear of contradiction, that, 
 though they all reached the temple of Fame by 
 different routes, they all passed through the 
 broad vista of l internal suggestions. The same 
 may be said of Jefferson, Madison, and many 
 other distinguished personages of our own coun 
 try. 
 
 " I challenge the gentlemen on the other side 
 to produce examples like these in support of 
 their cause." 
 
 Mr. Longworth pressed these profound and 
 
186 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 logical views to a length to which our limits will 
 not permit us to follow him, and which the read 
 er s patience would hardly bear if they would. 
 Perhaps, however, he will bear with us while AVC 
 give the conclusion of Mr. Longworth s remarks, 
 as it was here that he put forth all his strength : 
 " Mr. President, Let the bias of jurispru 
 dence predominate, and how is it possible (con 
 sidering it merely as extending to those impulses 
 which may with propriety be termed a bias] 
 how is it possible for a government to exist 
 whose object is the public good ? The marble- 
 hearted marauder might seize the throne of civil 
 authority, and hurl into thraldom the votaries 
 of rational liberty. Virtue, justice, and all the 
 nobler principles of human nature would wither 
 away under the pestilential breath of political 
 faction ; and an unnerved constitution be left 
 to the sport of demagogue and parasite. Crash 
 after crash would be heard in quick succession, 
 as the strong pillars of the republic give way, 
 and Despotism would shout in hellish triumph 
 amid the crumbling ruins. Anarchy would wave 
 her bloody sceptre over the devoted land, and 
 the bloodhounds of civil war would lap the 
 crimson gore of our most worthy citizens. The 
 shrieks of women and the screams of children 
 would be drowned amid the clash of swords and 
 the cannon s peal ; and Liberty, mantling her 
 face from the horrid scene, would spread her 
 golden -tinted pinions, and wing her flight to 
 some far-distant land, never again to revisit our 
 peaceful shores. In vain should we then sigh 
 
THE DEBATING SOCIETY 187 
 
 for the beatific reign of those suggestions which 
 I am proud to acknowledge as peculiarly and ex 
 clusively internal/ 
 
 Mr. M Dermot rose promptly at the call of 
 the president, and proceeded as follows : 
 
 "Mr. President, If I listened unmoved to the 
 very labored appeal to the passions which has 
 just been made, it was not because I am insen 
 sible to the powers of eloquence, but because I 
 happen to be blessed with the small measure of 
 sense which is necessary to distinguish true elo 
 quence from the wild ravings of an unbridled 
 imagination. Grave and solemn appeals, when 
 ill-timed and misplaced, are apt to excite ridi 
 cule ; hence it was that I detected myself more 
 than once in open laughter during the most pa 
 thetic parts of Mr. Longworth s argument, if so 
 it can be called.* In the midst of crashing 
 pillars/ crumbling ruins/ shouting Despotism/ 
 screaming women/ and flying Liberty/ the 
 question was perpetually recurring to me, what 
 has all this to do with the subject of dispute ? I 
 will not follow the example of that gentleman. 
 It shall be my endeavor to clear away the mist 
 which he has thrown around the subject, and 
 to place it before the society in a clear, intelli 
 gible point of view ; for I must say that, though 
 his speech bears strong marks of the pen (sar 
 castically), it has but few marks of sober reflec- 
 
 * This was extemporaneous, and well conceived ; for 
 Mr. M Dermot had not played his part witli becoming 
 gravity. 
 
188 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 tion. Some of it, I confess, is very intelligible 
 and very plausible ; but most of it, I boldly as 
 sert, no man living can comprehend. I men 
 tion this for the edification of that gentleman 
 (who is usually clear and forcible), to teach him 
 that he is most successful when he labors least. 
 
 "Mr. President, The gentleman, in opening 
 the debate, stated that the question was one of 
 vast importance, pervading the profound depths 
 of psychology, and embracing within its ample 
 range the whole circle of arts and sciences. And 
 really, sir, he has verified his statement ; for he 
 has extended it over the whole moral and phys 
 ical world. But, Mr. President, I take leave to 
 differ from the gentleman at the very thresh 
 old of his remarks. The subject is one which 
 is confined within very narrow limits. It ex 
 tends no further than to the elective franchise, 
 and is not even commensurate with this impor 
 tant privilege ; for it stops short at the vote of 
 faction. In this point of light the subject comes 
 within the grasp of the most common intellect ; 
 it is plain, simple, natural, and intelligible. 
 Thus viewing it, Mr. President, where does the 
 gentleman find in it, or in all nature besides, 
 the original of the dismal picture which he has 
 presented to the society ? It loses all its inter 
 est, and becomes supremely ridiculous. Having 
 thus, Mr. President, divested the subject of all 
 obscurity, having reduced it to those few ele 
 ments with which we are all familiar, I proceed 
 to make a few deductions from the premises, 
 which seem to me inevitable, and decisive of the 
 
THE DEBATING SOCIETY 189 
 
 question. I lay it down as a self-evident prop 
 osition, that faction in all its forms is hideous ; 
 and I maintain, with equal confidence,, that it 
 never has been nor never will be restrained by 
 those suggestions which the gentleman em 
 phatically terms internal. No, sir, nothing 
 short of the bias, and the very strong bias too, 
 of jurisprudence, or the potent energies of the 
 sword, can restrain it. But, sir, I shall here, 
 perhaps, be asked, whether there is not a very 
 wide difference between a turbulent, lawless fac 
 tion and the vote of faction ? Most unques 
 tionably there is ; and to this distinction I shall 
 presently advert, and demonstrably prove that it 
 is a distinction which makes altogether in our 
 favor." 
 
 Thus did Mr. M Dermot continue to dissect 
 and expose his adversary s argument, in the most 
 clear, conclusive, and masterly manner, at con 
 siderable length. But we cannot deal more 
 favorably by him than we have dealt by Mr. 
 Longworth. We must therefore dismiss him 
 after we shall have given the reader his con 
 cluding remarks. They were as follows : 
 
 " Let us now suppose Mr. Longworth s prin 
 ciples brought to the test of experiment. Let 
 us suppose his language addressed to all man 
 kind. We close the temples of justice as use 
 less ; we burn our codes of laws as worthless ; 
 and we substitute in their places the more valu 
 able restraints of internal suggestions. Thieves, 
 invade not your neighbor s property ; if you do, 
 you will be arraigned before the august tribunal 
 
190 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 of conscience. Kobbers, stay your lawless hand, 
 or you will be visited with the tremendous pen 
 alties of psychology. Murderers, spare the blood 
 of your fellow-creatures; or you will be exposed 
 to the excruciating tortures of innate maxims 
 when it shall be discovered that there are any. 
 Mr. President, could there be a broader license to 
 crime than this ? Could a better plan be devised 
 for dissolving the bands of civil society ? It re 
 quires not the gift of prophecy to foresee the 
 consequences of these novel and monstrous prin 
 ciples. The strong would tyrannize over the 
 weak ; the poor would plunder the rich ; the 
 servant would rise above the master ; the drones 
 of society would fatten upon the hard earnings 
 of the industrious. Indeed, sir, industry would 
 soon desert the land ; for it would have neither 
 reward nor encouragement. Commerce would 
 cease ; arts and sciences would languish ; all the 
 sacred relations would be dissolved, and scenes 
 of havoc, dissolution, and death ensue, such as 
 never will visit it until mankind learn to repose 
 their destinies upon those suggestions emphati 
 cally termed internal. From all these evils there 
 is a secure retreat behind the brazen wall of the 
 bias of jurisprudence." 
 
 The gentleman who was next called on to en 
 gage in the debate was John Craig, a gentleman 
 of good hard sense, but who was utterly incom 
 petent to say a word upon a subject which lie 
 did not understand. He proceeded thus : 
 
 " Mr. President, When this subject was pro 
 posed, I candidly confessed I did not understand 
 
THE DEBATING SOCIETY 191 
 
 it, and I was informed by Mr. L-ongworth and 
 Mr. M Dermot that either of them would explain 
 it at any leisure moment. But, sir, they seem to 
 have taken very good care, from that time to 
 this, to have no leisure moment. I have in 
 quired of both of them repeatedly for an expla 
 nation ; but they were always too busy to talk 
 about it. "Well, sir, as it was proposed by Mr. 
 Longworth, I thought he would certainly explain 
 it in his speech ; but I understood no more of 
 his speech than I did of the subject. Well, sir, 
 I thought I should certainly learn something 
 from Mr. M Dermot, especially as he promised, 
 at the commencement of his speech, to clear 
 away the mist that Mr. Longworth had thrown 
 about the subject, and to place it in a clear, in 
 telligible point of light. But, sir, the only dif 
 ference between his speech and Mr. Longworth s 
 is, that it was not quite as flighty as Mr. Long- 
 worth s. I couldn t understand head nor tail of 
 it. At one time they seemed to argue the ques 
 tion as if it were this : Is it better to have law 
 or no law? At another, as though it was, 
 6 Should faction be governed by law, or be left to 
 their own consciences ? But most of the time 
 they argued it as if it were just what it seems to 
 be a sentence without sense or meaning. But, 
 sir, I suppose its obscurity is owing to my dul- 
 ness of apprehension ; for they appeared to argue 
 it with great earnestness and feeling, as if they 
 understood it. 
 
 "I shall put my interpretation upon it, Mr. 
 President, and argue it accordingly. 
 
192 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 " WHETHER,, AT PUBLIC ELECTIONS that is, 
 for members of Congress, members of the Legis 
 lature, etc. SHOULD THE VOTES of faction I 
 
 don t know what faction has got to do with it, 
 and therefore I shall throw it out SHOULD 
 
 THE VOTES PREDOMINATE BY INTERNAL SUG 
 GESTIONS OR THE BIAS I don t know what the 
 article is put in here for. It seems to me it ought 
 to be, be BIASSED by jurisprudence or law. In 
 short, Mr. President, I understand the question 
 to be, should a man vote as he pleases, or should 
 the law say Jiow he should vote ?" 
 
 Here Mr. Longworth rose and observed that 
 though Mr. Craig was on his side, he felt it due 
 to their adversaries to state that this was n not a 
 true exposition of the subject. This exposition 
 settled the question at once on his side ; for no 
 body would for a moment contend that the law 
 should declare how men should vote. Unless it 
 be confined to the vote of faction and the bias of 
 jurisprudence, it was no subject at all. To all 
 this Mr. M Dermot signified his unqualified ap 
 probation ; and seemed pleased with the candor 
 of his opponent. 
 
 "Well," said Mr. Craig, "I thought it was im 
 possible that any one should propose such a 
 question as that to the society ; but will Mr. 
 Longworth tell us, if it does not mean that, what 
 does it mean ? for I don t see what great change 
 is made in it by his explanation." 
 
 Mr. Longworth replied that if the remarks 
 which he had just made, and his argument, had 
 not fully explained the subject to Mr. Craig, he 
 
THE DEBATING SOCIETY 193 
 
 feared.it would be out of his power to explain 
 it. 
 
 " Then/ 7 said Mr. Craig, " I ll pay my fine, for 
 I don t understand a word of it." 
 
 The next one summoned to the debate was 
 Mr. Pentigall. Mr. Pentigall was one of those 
 who would never acknowledge his ignorance of 
 anything which any person else understood ; and 
 that Longworth and M Dermot were both mas 
 ters of the subject was clear, both from their 
 fluency and seriousness. He therefore deter 
 mined to understand it at all hazards. Conse 
 quently, he rose at the president s command with 
 considerable self-confidence. I regret, however, 
 that it is impossible to commit Mr. Pentigall s 
 manner to paper, without which his remarks lose 
 nearly all their interest. He was a tall, hand 
 some man, a little theatric in his manner, rapid 
 in his delivery, and singular in his pronunciation. 
 He gave to the e and i of our language the sound 
 of u ; at least, his peculiar intonations of voice 
 seemed to give them that sound ; and his rapidi 
 ty of utterance seemed to change the termina 
 tion " tion" into "ah." With all his peculiari 
 ties, however, he was a fine fellow. If he was 
 ambitious, he was not invidious, and he possessed 
 an amicable disposition. He proceeded as fol 
 lows : 
 
 "Mr. President, This internal suggestion 
 which has been so eloquently discussed by Mr. 
 Longworth, and the bias of jurisprudence which 
 has been so ably advocated by Mr. M Dermot 
 hem ! Mr. President, in order to fix the line of 
 
 13 
 
194 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 demarcation between ah the internal sugges 
 tion and the bias of jurisprudence Mr. Presi 
 dent, I think, sir, that ah the subject must be 
 confined to the vote of faction and the bias of 
 jurisprudence/ 7 
 
 Here Mr. Pentigall clapped his right hand to 
 his forehead, as though he had that moment 
 heard some overpowering news ; and, after main 
 taining this position for about the space of ten 
 seconds, he slowly withdrew his hand, gave his 
 head a slight inclination to the right, raised his 
 eyes to the president as if just awakening from 
 a trance, and, with a voice of the most hopeless 
 despair, concluded with "I don t understand the 
 subject, Muster Prusidunt." 
 
 The rest of the members on both sides sub 
 mitted to be fined rather than attempt the knotty 
 subject ; but, by common consent, the penal rule 
 was dispensed with. Nothing now remained to 
 close the exercises but the decision of the chair. 
 
 The president, John Nuble, was a young man 
 not unlike Craig in his turn of mind, though he 
 possessed an intellect a little more sprightly than 
 Craig s. His decision was short. 
 
 "Gentlemen/ said he, "I do not understand 
 the subject. This," continued he (pulling out 
 his knife, and pointing to the silvered or cross 
 side of it), "is Internal Suggestions. And 
 this" (pointing to the other or pile side) "is 
 Bias of Jurisprudence/ So saying, he threw 
 up his knife, and upon its fall determined that 
 "Internal Suggestions" had got it, and ordered 
 the decision to be registered accordingly. 
 
THE DEBATING SOCIETY 195 
 
 It is worthy of note that, in their zeal to ac 
 complish their purpose, Longworth and M Der- 
 mot forgot to destroy the lists of subjects from 
 which they had selected the one so often men 
 tioned ; and one of these lists, containing the 
 subject discussed, with a number more like it, 
 was picked up by Mr. Craig, who made a public 
 exhibition of it, threatening to arraign the con 
 spirators before the society for a contempt. But, 
 as the parting hour was at hand, he overlooked 
 it, with the rest of the brotherhood, and often 
 laughed heartily at the trick. 
 
 HALL. 
 
THE MILITIA COMPANY DRILL* 
 
 I HAPPENED, not long since, to be present at 
 the muster of a captain s company in a remote 
 part of one of the counties ; and as no general 
 description could convey an accurate idea of the 
 achievements of that day, I must be permitted 
 to go a little into detail, as well as my recollec 
 tion will serve me. 
 
 The men had been notified to meet at nine 
 o clock, "armed and equipped as the law di 
 rects" ; that is to say, with a gun and cartridge- 
 box, at least, but, as directed by the law of the 
 United States, " with a good firelock, a suffi 
 cient bayonet and belt, and a pouch with a box 
 to contain no less than twenty -four sufficient 
 cartridges of powder and ball." 
 
 At twelve, about one - third, perhaps one- 
 half, of the men had collected, and an in 
 spector s return of the number present, and of 
 their arms, would have stood nearly thus : 1 
 captain; 1 lieutenant; ensign, none; fifers, none; 
 
 * This is from the pen of a friend, who has kindly per 
 mitted me to place it among the " Georgia Scenes." It 
 was taken from the life, and published about twenty 
 years ago. The Author, 
 
THE MILITIA COMPANY DRILL 197 
 
 privates present, 24; ditto absent, 40 ; guns, 14 ; 
 gunlocks, 12 ; ramrods, 10 ; rifle pouches, 3 ; bay 
 onets, none ; belts, none ; spare flints, none ; car 
 tridges, none ; horsewhips, walking - canes, and 
 umbrellas, 10. A little before one, the captain, 
 whom I shall distinguish by the name of Clod- 
 pole, gave directions for forming the line of 
 parade. In obedience to this order, one of the 
 sergeants, whose lungs had long supplied the 
 place of a drum and fife, placed himself in front 
 of the house and began to bawl with great vehe 
 mence, "All Captain Clodpole s company parade 
 here ! Come, gentlemen, parade here \" says he ; 
 "all you that hasn t got guns, fall into the lower 
 send." He might have bawled till this time 
 with as little success as the sirens who sang to 
 Ulysses, had he not changed his post to a neigh 
 boring shade. There he was immediately joined 
 by all who were then at leisure ; the others were 
 at that time engaged as parties or spectators at a 
 game of fives, and could not just then attend. 
 However, in less than half an hour the game 
 was finished, and the captain enabled to form his 
 company and proceed in the duties of the day. 
 
 "Look to the right and dress!" 
 
 They were soon, by the help of the non-com 
 missioned officers, placed in a straight line ; but, 
 as every man was anxious to see how the rest 
 stood, those on the wings pressed forward for 
 that purpose, till the whole line assumed nearly 
 the form of a crescent. 
 
 " Why, look at em !" says the captain. " Why, 
 gentlemen, you are all a-crooking in at both 
 
198 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 eends, so that you will get on to me by-and-by ! 
 Come, gentlemen, dress, dress /" 
 
 This was accordingly done ; but, impelled by 
 the same motives as before, they soon resumed 
 their former figure, and so they were permitted 
 to remain. 
 
 "Now, gentlemen/ 7 says the captain, "Fin 
 going to carry you through the revolutions of the 
 manual exercise ; and I want you gentlemen, if 
 you please, to pay particular attention to the 
 word of command, just exactly as I give it out 
 to you. I hope you will have a little patience, 
 gentlemen, if you please; and if I should be ago 
 ing wrong, I will be much obliged to any of you, 
 gentlemen, to put me right again ; for I mean all 
 for the best, and I hope you will excuse me, if 
 you please. And one thing, gentlemen, I cau 
 tion you against in particular, and that is this : 
 not to make any mistakes, if you can possibly 
 help it ; and the best way to do this will be to do 
 all the motions right at first ; and that will help 
 us to get along so much the faster ; and I will 
 try to have it over as soon as possible. Come, 
 boys, come to a shoulder. 
 
 " Poise, foolb !*. 
 
 " Cock, foolJc I Very handsomely done. 
 
 "Take, aim! 
 
 " Ram down, cartridge I No ! no ! Fire I I 
 recollect now that firing comes next after taking 
 aim, according to Steuben ; but with your per- 
 
 * A contraction and corruption of "firelock." Thus : 
 " firelock," "flock," " foolk." 
 
200 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 mission, gentlemen, I ll read the words of com 
 mand just exactly as they are printed in the 
 book, and then I shall be sure to be right." 
 
 " Oh yes ; read it, captain, read it !" exclaimed 
 twenty voices at once ; " that will save time/ 
 
 " Tention the whole! Please to observe, gen 
 tlemen, that at the word fire ! you must fire ; 
 that is if any of your guns are loaden d, you must 
 not shoot in y earnest, but only make pretence 
 like ; and you, gentlemen, fellow-soldiers, who s 
 armed with nothing but sticks, riding-switches, 
 and corn-stalks, needn t go through the firings, 
 but stand as you are, and keep yourselves to 
 yourselves. 
 
 " Half cock, foolJc ! Very well done. 
 
 " S-li-e-t (spelling) sliet,pan! That too would 
 have been handsomely done, if you hadn t han 
 dled ca tridge instead of shotting pan ; but I sup 
 pose you wasn t noticing. Now tention, one and 
 all, gentlemen, and do that motion again. 
 
 "Shet, pan! Very good, very well indeed; 
 you did that motion equal to any old soldier ; you 
 improve astonishingly. 
 
 "Handle, ca tridge! Pretty well, considering 
 you done it wrong end foremost, as if you took 
 the ca tridge out of your mouth., and bit off the 
 twist with the ca tridge-box. 
 
 "Draw, rammer! Those who have 110 ram 
 mers to their guns need not draw, but only make 
 the motion ; it will do just as well, and save a 
 great deal of time. 
 
 "Return, rammer! Very well again. But 
 that would have been done, I think, with greater 
 
THE MILITIA COMPANY DRILL 201 
 
 expertness if you had performed the motion with 
 a little more dexterity. 
 
 " 8-h-o-u-l shoulder, foolk! Very handsome 
 ly done indeed ! Put your guns on the other 
 shoulder, gentlemen. 
 
 " Order, foolk! Not quite so well, gentlemen; 
 not quite altogether ; but perhaps I did not 
 speak loud enough for you to hear me all at 
 once. Try once more, if you please. I hope 
 you will be patient, gentlemen ; we will soon be 
 through. 
 
 " Order, foolk ! Handsomely done, gentlemen ! 
 Very handsomely done ! and all together, too, ex 
 cept that one-half of you were a leetle too soon, 
 and the other half a leetle too late. 
 
 "In laying down your guns, gentlemen, take 
 care to lay the locks up and the other side down. 
 
 " Tention the whole! Ground, foolk ! Very 
 well. 
 
 "Charge, bayonet!" 
 
 (Some of the men) "That can t be, captain ; 
 pray, look again ; for how can we charge bayonet 
 without our guns ?" 
 
 (Captain] "I don t know as to that, but I 
 know I m right, for here tis printed in the book ; 
 c-h-a-r yes, charge, bayonet, that s right, that s 
 the word, if I know how to read. Come, gentle 
 men, do pray charge bayonet ! Charge, I say ! 
 Why don t you charge ? Do you think it ain t 
 so : Do you think I have lived to this time o 
 day and don t know what charge bayonet is ? 
 Here, come here, you may see for yourselves ; 
 it s as plain as the nose on your fa stop stay 
 
202 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 no halt ! no ! Faith, I m wrong ! I turned 
 over two leaves at once. I beg your pardon, we 
 will not stay out long ; and we ll have something 
 to drink as soon as we have done. Come, boys, 
 get off the stumps and logs, and take up your 
 guns ; we ll soon be done ; excuse me, if you 
 please. 
 
 "Fix, bayonet ! 
 
 "Advance, arms! Very well done; turn the 
 stocks of your guns in front, gentlemen, and 
 that will bring the barrels behind ; hold them 
 straight up and down, if you please ; let go with 
 your left, and take hold with your right hand 
 below the guard. Steuben says the gun should 
 be held p-e-r -pertic lar ; yes, you must always 
 mind and hold your guns very pertic lar. Now, 
 boys, Mention the whole ! 
 
 " Present, arms ! Very handsomely done ! 
 only hold your gun over t other knee t other 
 hand up turn your hands round a little, and 
 raise them up higher draw t other foot back 
 now you are nearly right very well done. 
 
 " Gentlemen, we come now to the revolutions. 
 Men, you have all got into a sort of snarl, as I may 
 say ; how did you all get into such a higglety- 
 pigglety ?" 
 
 The fact was, the shade had moved considera 
 bly to the eastward, and had exposed the right 
 wing of these hardy veterans to a galling fire of 
 the sun. Being poorly provided with umbrellas 
 at this end of the line, they found it convenient 
 to follow the shade ; and in huddling to the left 
 for this purpose they changed the figure of their 
 
THE MILITIA COMPANY DRILL ^03 
 
 line from that of a crescent to one which more 
 nearly resembled a pair of pothooks. 
 
 " Come, gentlemen," says the captain, " spread 
 yourselves out again into a straight line, and let 
 us get into the wheelings and other matters as 
 soon as possible." 
 
 But this was strenuously opposed by the sol 
 diers. They objected to going into the revolu 
 tions at all, inasmuch as the weather was ex 
 tremely hot, and they had already been kept in 
 the field upward of three - quarters of an hour. 
 They reminded the captain of his repeated prom 
 ise to be as short as he possibly could, audit was 
 clear he could dispense with all this wheeling and 
 flourishing if he chose. They were already very 
 thirsty, and if he would not dismiss them they 
 declared they would go off without dismission 
 and get something to drink, and he might fine 
 them, if that would do him any good ; they were 
 able to pay their fine, but would not go without 
 drink to please anybody ; and they swore they 
 would never vote for another captain who wished 
 to be so unreasonably strict. 
 
 The captain behaved with great spirit upon the 
 occasion, and a smart colloquy ensued; when at 
 length, becoming exasperated to the last degree, 
 he roundly asserted that no soldier ought ever to 
 tliink hard of the orders of his officer ; and, finally, 
 he went so far as to say that he did not think any 
 gentleman on that ground had any just cause to 
 be offended with him. The dispute was finally 
 settled by the captain sending for some grog for 
 their present accommodation, and agreeing to 
 
204 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 omit reading the military law, and the perform 
 ance of all the manoeuvres, except two or three 
 such easy and simple ones as could be performed 
 within the compass of the shade. After they had 
 drunk their grog and had "spread themselves," 
 they were divided into platoons. 
 
 " Tention the whole ! To the right wheel !" 
 
 Each man faced to the right about. 
 
 "Why, gentlemen, I did not mean for every 
 man to stand still and turn himself Mat rally right 
 round ; but when I told you to wheel to the right, 
 I intended you to wheel round to the right, as 
 it were. Please to try again, gentlemen ; every 
 right-hand man must stand fast, and only the 
 others turn round." 
 
 In the previous part of the exercise it had, for 
 the purpose of sizing, been necessary to denomi 
 nate every second person a "right-hand man." 
 A very natural consequence was that, on the pres 
 ent occasion, these right-hand men maintained 
 their position, all the intermediate ones facing 
 about as before. 
 
 " Why, look at em, now !" exclaimed the cap 
 tain, in extreme vexation; "I ll be d d if you 
 undersand a word I say ! Excuse me, gentlemen, 
 it rayly seems as if you could not come at it 
 exactly. In wheeling to the right, the right- 
 hand send of the platoon stands fast, and the 
 other eend comes round like a swingle-tree. 
 Those on the outside must march faster than 
 those on the inside. You certainly must under 
 stand me now, gentlemen; and please to try 
 it once more." 
 
THE MILITIA COMPANY DRILL 205 
 
 In this they were a little more successful. 
 
 " Tention the whole! To the left left, no- 
 right that is, the left / mean the right left, 
 wheel, march !" 
 
 In this he was strictly obeyed ; some Avheeling 
 to the right, some to the left, and some to the 
 right-left, or both ways. 
 
 " Stop! Halt ! Let us try it again ! I could 
 not just then tell my right-hand from my left ! 
 You must excuse me, if you please ; experience 
 makes perfect, as the saying is. Long as I 
 have served, I find something new to learn every 
 day ; but all s one for that. Now, gentlemen, do 
 that motion once more." 
 
 By the help of a non-commissioned officer in 
 front of each platoon, they wheeled this time 
 with considerable regularity. 
 
 "Now, boys, you must try to wheel by divi 
 sions ; and there is one thing in particular which 
 I have to request of you, gentlemen, and that 
 is, not to make any blunder in your wheeling. 
 You must mind and keep at a wheeling distance, 
 and not talk in the ranks, nor get out of fix 
 again ; for I want you to do this motion well, 
 and not to make any blunder now. 
 
 1 Tention the ivliole! By divisions, to the right 
 wheel, march!" 
 
 In doing this it seemed as if Bedlam had bro 
 ken loose : every man took the command. Not 
 so fast on the right ! Slow now ! Haul down 
 those umbrellas ! Faster on the left ! Keep 
 back a little there I Don t scrouge so ! Hold 
 up your gun, Sam ! Go faster there ! faster ! 
 
206 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 Who trod on my? D n your huffs ! Keep 
 back ! Stop us, captain, do stop us ! Go fast 
 er, there ! I ve lost my shoe ! Get up again, 
 Ned ! Halt ! halt ! halt ! Stop, gentlemen ! 
 stop ! stop ! 
 
 By this time they had got into utter and in 
 extricable confusion, and so I left them. 
 
 TIMOTHY CKABSHAW. 
 
THE TURF 
 
 " COME," said my friend Baldwin to me, a few 
 months ago, "let us go to the turf." 
 
 " No," said I, " I take no interest in its amuse 
 ments/ 
 
 Nor do I," rejoined he ; " but I visit it to ac 
 quire a knowledge of the human character as it 
 exhibits itself in the various scenes of life, and 
 with the hope of turning the knowledge thus 
 acquired to some good account. I am the more 
 desirous that you should accompany me," con 
 tinued he, " because, as one pair of eyes and 
 ears cannot catch all that passes within a scene 
 so spacious, I shall lose many instructing, inter 
 esting, or amusing incidents without the assist 
 ance of a friend, and therefore I wish to enlist 
 your services." 
 
 "Well," said I, "with this view I will accom 
 pany you." 
 
 We went ; and the following is the result of 
 our joint observations : 
 
 We went early, when as yet no one had reached 
 the ground but those who occupied the booths 
 for the purpose of traffic. It was not long, how 
 ever, before crowds of persons, of all ages, sexes, 
 conditions, and complexions, were seen moving 
 
208 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 towards the booths ; some on foot, some on 
 horseback, some in gigs, some in carriages, some 
 in carts, and some in wagons. The carriages 
 (generally filled with well-dressed ladies) ar 
 ranged themselves about thirty or forty paces 
 from the starting-point, towards the centre of 
 the turf. Around these circled many young 
 gentlemen, each riding his prettiest, whipping, 
 spurring, and curbing his horse into the most 
 engaging antics, and giving visible token that 
 he thought every eye from the carriages was on 
 him, and every heart overpowered by his horse 
 manship. As many more plied between the 
 booths and carriages, bearing messages, rumors, 
 apples, oranges, raisins, lemonade, and punch. 
 " But surely no lady drank the punch !" 
 " Yes, three of them did ; and if I know what 
 large swallows mean, they loved it too. But 
 they didn t drink long. The ladies ought to be 
 informed,, however, that a countryman passing 
 them observed, * The way them women love punch 
 is nothing to nobody ! " 
 
 The gentlemen generally collected about the 
 booths, and employed themselves in loud talking 
 and drinking. Here I saw Major Close, who two 
 hours before declared he had not enough to pay 
 a poor woman for the making the vest he had on, 
 treat a large company to a dollar bowl of punch ; 
 and, ten minutes after, I saw the same man 
 stake fifty dollars on the race. I saw another 
 gentleman do the same, who, four days before, 
 permitted his endorser to lift his note in bank 
 for one hundred dollars, which note the endorser 
 
THE TURF 209 
 
 still held. But, thought I, the way these gen 
 tlemen treat their creditors "is nothing to no 
 body." One thing I remarked upon this occa 
 sion, which should not be passed in silence. I 
 saw many gentlemen drink sjjirits upon the turf 
 whom I never saw taste it anywhere else ; some 
 because it seemed fashionable, and some because 
 they would bet nothing but a glass of toddy or 
 a bowl of punch, and, having bet it, they must 
 help drink it. 
 
 I had been employed perhaps three-quarters of 
 an hour in making observations upon the scene 
 which was before me, when I observed a 1 group 
 of^negroes and boys enter one of the gates of the 
 turf, following, with much seeming interest, a 
 horse which was led by an aged black, by whose 
 side walked a little negro boy about thirteen 
 years of age, dressed in pink throughout. I had 
 no doubt but that the horse was one which was 
 entered for the day s running ; and as I was de 
 sirous of seeing all the competitors before the 
 race, I advanced to meet him apart from the 
 crowd. As soon as I approached near enough to 
 distinguish the features of the old negro who led 
 the animal, I discovered that he was a gentleman 
 who, upon that day at least, was to be approached 
 only with the most profound respect. His step 
 was martial, his eye looked directly forward, and 
 his countenance plainly indicated that he had 
 many deep things shut up in his brain, which 
 the world had long been trying to pry into in 
 vain. I concluded, however, that I might vent 
 ure to ask him a question, which all who had 
 u 
 
210 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 read the morning s Chronicle could have an 
 swered. I therefore took the liberty of address 
 ing him, as soon as he came near me, with, 
 
 " Old man, what horse is that ?" 
 
 The question seemed to come like a thunder 
 bolt among his contemplations ; and, without 
 speaking a word, he bent upon me a look which 
 I perfectly understood to mean, 
 
 " Pray, sir, where were you born and brought 
 up ?" 
 
 Having been thus foiled by the old man, I re 
 solved to try my luck with the rider ; according 
 ly, I repeated the question to him. lie stopped, 
 and was in the act, as I thought, of answering, 
 when the old man bawled out to him, in an an 
 gry tone : 
 
 "Come along, you Bill ; never keep behind you 
 hoss when you fuss (first) come on the ground." 
 
 Bill obeyed promptly, and took his position by 
 /as majesty, who observed to him, in an under 
 tone, as he came alongside : 
 
 " Never tell de name you 7 hoss ; it s bad luck." 
 
 Bill s confusion plainly showed that he ought 
 to have known a thing so obvious from his in 
 fancy. I was as much disconcerted as Bill ; but 
 was soon relieved by a pert little blackamoor, 
 who, rather to persuade me that he was in all the 
 secrets of the turf than in charity to me, ad 
 dressed me with, 
 
 " Master, I ll tell you what hoss dat is." 
 
 " Well, my boy," said I, " what horse is it ?" 
 
 " He young Butteram, son o oh Butteram, dat 
 u sen to belong to Mr. Swingletree." 
 
THE TURF 211 
 
 And do you know all the horses that are go 
 ing to run to-day ?" said I. 
 
 "La, yes, sir," said he; "I know ehery one 
 dat s g\vine to run ebery day." 
 
 I concluded I would take advantage of the 
 boy s knowledge ; and therefore gave him twelve 
 and a half cents to stand by me and give me the 
 names of the racers as they passed ; for by this 
 time they were all on the ground and following 
 the direction of the first. 
 
 "This one/ said my mentor, as the next ap 
 proached, "name Flory Randle ; she b long to 
 Mr. Pet ; but I don t know what hoss he daddy, 
 though. 
 
 " This one " (as the next came up) "name Sir 
 William ; he come all de way from Virginny, and 
 I t ink dey say he got by Virginny too. 
 
 "And this" (as the last approached) "name 
 Clipse ; by jokey, he look to me like he could 
 clip it too, and I be swinged if I don t go my 
 seb n-pence on him anyhow !" 
 
 Thus I learned that the four horses which were 
 to run were Bertrand, Flora Kandolph, Sir Will 
 iam, and Eclipse. At this moment a voice from 
 the judges stand cried, " Prepare your horses !" 
 and in an instant the grooms were engaged in 
 saddling the animals. This preliminary was soon 
 disposed of, and the owners proceeded to give 
 the riders their instructions. 
 
 "Now, Bob," said Mr. Pet, "I know that I 
 have the heels of any horse on the turf, but I m 
 a little afraid of my bottom ; therefore, save 
 your wind as much as possible. Trail the lead- 
 
212 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 ing horse upon a hard rein, about half a distance 
 behind, until you come to the last half-mile, and 
 then let Flora off at full speed. As soon as you 
 pass the leading horse about a length, bear your 
 rein, and don t come in more than a length 
 ahead." 
 
 " Sam," said the owner of Sir William, "you ve 
 got none to fear but Bertrand, and you ve got the 
 bottom of him ; therefore give him no rest from 
 the word f go ! unless you find that your heels 
 are as good as his ; and if so, you needn t waste 
 your wind. Feel Bertrand at the first rise of the 
 course ; if he stands it pretty well, try how you 
 can move with him going down the hill ; and if 
 you find that you are too hard for him either at 
 rises or falls, pinch him hard at all of them places ; 
 and when you come to the last half-mile of each 
 heat, run his heart, liver, lights, and soul -case 
 out of him." 
 
 "Ned," said the owner of Eclipse, "you are 
 not to run for the first heat at all, unless you find 
 you can take it very easy. Let Sir William take 
 the first heat. You can beat the others when 
 you please, and William can t stand a push for 
 two heats ; therefore, just play alongside of him 
 handsomely for the first three miles, and at the 
 coming in just drop in the distance pole. The 
 next heat take the track, and press him from the 
 start." 
 
 "Bill," said the owner of Bertrand, "do you 
 take the track at the start, and keep it, and run 
 only just fast enough to keep it." 
 
 Here the roll of the drum and a cry from the 
 
THE TURF 213 
 
 judges stand put the horses in motion for the 
 starting-point. Over this point I now observed 
 suspended from a pole a beautiful blue silk purse, 
 spangled with silver and embroidered with gold, 
 on both sides of which was marked, in golden 
 characters, "$500 !! !" 
 
 It would require a volume to describe the 
 scene which now ensued. 
 
 " Captain, do you run Bertrand for the heat ?" 
 
 "I do, sir." 
 
 "Five hundred dollars, Bertrand against the 
 field." 
 
 " Done, sir." 
 
 " Major, will Eclipse run for the heat ?" 
 
 "No, sir." 
 
 "One hundred to fifty that Flora Randolph 
 beats Eclipse the first heat !" 
 
 " Done, sir" "Done, sir" " Done, sir." 
 
 " I took the bet first." 
 
 "No, sir, I took it first." 
 
 "No matter, gentlemen, I ll go you all fifty 
 apiece." 
 
 "It s a bet, sir" "It s a bet" "A bet, sir." 
 
 " Here, Uncle Sam, hold dese trups." 
 
 "Now mind de bet. Bob, he bet dat Flory 
 Handle take de fus heat. I bet he take no heat 
 at all." 
 
 " Yes, dat be de bet you hear him, Uncle 
 Sam ?" 
 
 " Tell him over agin, le me listen." 
 
 " Well, dis him : if Flory take de fus heat, Bob 
 win ; if he take no heat at all, I Avin." 
 
 " Berry well, I got him now fass in my head." 
 
214 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 " Pa, give me a quarter to bet." 
 
 " What horse do you want to bet upon, my 
 son ?" 
 
 "Eclipse." 
 
 " Oh no there s a quarter bet it upon Ber- 
 trand." 
 
 "Well, Miss Flora, don t you wish to bet ?" 
 
 " Yes, sir, I ll bet you a pair of gloves." 
 
 " Well, what horse will you take ?" 
 
 " Oh, my namesake, of course." 
 
 " It s a bet ; you take Flora against the field, 
 of course." 
 
 "To be sure I do." 
 
 Thus it went ; men, women, and children 
 whites and blacks all betting. 
 
 Such was the bustle, confusion, and uproar 
 among the men that I could hardly see or hear 
 anything distinctly, and therefore I resolved to 
 take my position among the carriages, in order 
 to observe the ladies under the delights of the 
 turf. 
 
 The signal was now given, and off went the 
 horses Flora ahead, Bertrand next, Sir William 
 next, and Eclipse in the rear. 
 
 " Only look at that rascal," said Mr. Pet, as he 
 charged by us at full speed ; " how he is riding ! 
 Hold her in, you rascal, or I ll give you five 
 hundred lashes as soon as you light ! Hold her 
 in, I tell you, you abominable puppy, or I ll cut 
 your throat !" Bob did his best to restrain her, 
 for he bore upon the rein until his back came 
 nearly in contact with Flora s, but to no purpose. 
 Ahead she would go for the first two miles. 
 
THE TURF 215 
 
 "Only see, mamma," said Miss Flora, "how 
 beautifully Flora runs ! Ob, that dear little 
 rider" (a negro)., "how handsomely be carries 
 himself ! I knew I should win my gloves." 
 
 At the completion of the second mile Flora 
 became more manageable, and the other horses 
 passed her in their order. As the last gained 
 about a length of her, "Now," said Pet, "keep 
 her at that." The rider straightened himself in 
 the saddle, but the space widened perceptibly be 
 tween him and Eclipse. "Don t bear upon the 
 rein so hard," said Pet. "Let her play easy." 
 Bob slackened the rein ; but Flora seemed not to 
 improve her liberty. "Look how you re drop 
 ping behind," continued Pet. "Let her out, I 
 tell you !" Bob let her out, but she would not 
 go out. "Let her out, I tell you, or I will blow 
 your brains out !" Here Bob gave her a cut. 
 " You infernal rascal, you, don t give her the 
 whip ! Bring her up to Eclipse." Bob gave her 
 the lash again ; but Flora obstinately refused to 
 keep company with Eclipse. " Very well, sir," 
 said Pet, " ride your own way, and I ll whip mine 
 when you get home ; I see how it is." Bob seem 
 ed to hear only the first member of the sentence, 
 and he gave the whip without mercy. 
 
 "Why, Pet," said a gentleman, "what is the 
 matter with Flora to-day ?" 
 
 "What s the matter with her, sir ? Don t you 
 see that I can t make Bob do anything I tell him ? 
 I ll learn him how to take a bribe in future." 
 
 As Flora received the twentieth cut, she switch 
 ed her tail. "Ah!" said Mr. Dimple, "I fear 
 
216 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 you ve lost your gloves, Miss Flora ; see, your 
 favorite switches her tail." 
 
 " Does Flora switch her tail ?" said Miss Flora. 
 " Mamma, Mr. Dimple says Flora switches her 
 tail !" 
 
 "Does Flora switch her tail ?" said Mrs. Blue. 
 
 " Does Flora switch her tail ?" said Miss Emma. 
 " Oh, what a pity !" 
 
 The horses preserved their order through the 
 heat. Flora was distanced ; but her rider main 
 tained his grace and dignity to the last, and rode 
 as if perfectly satisfied that every eye was upon 
 him, and that all were saying, " To be sure Flora 
 is beaten, but her rider is decidedly the best on 
 the ground." In spite of his cry of "Clear the 
 track !" however, the crowd closed in between 
 him and the foremost horses, extinguished his 
 graces from general view, and forced him to come 
 in in the mere character of a spectator. 
 
 Between the first and second heats I saw the 
 owners of Sir William and Eclipse in a pleasing 
 conversation, but I did not hear what they said. 
 
 After a rest of about a quarter of an hour, the 
 horses were again brought to the starting-point ; 
 and, at the tap of the drum, went off with great 
 velocity. Bertrand took the lead, as before, and 
 William pursued him very closely. They kept 
 within two lengths of each other for three miles 
 and a half, when William locked his adversary, 
 and both riders commenced giving the whip and 
 spur without mercy. When they came in, it was 
 evident to my eye that Bertrand s rider (for I 
 could not see the horses heads) was more than 
 
THE TURF 217 
 
 his width ahead of William s ; but the judges 
 decided that William won the heat by two inches 
 and a quarter. Eclipse just saved his distance. 
 At the close of the heat the two former exhibited 
 a pitiable spectacle. There was not a dry hair 
 upon either of them, and the blood streamed 
 from the flanks and sides of both. 
 
 " Mr. Dimple," said Miss Emma, "which horse 
 shall I bet on next time ? Which seems the most 
 distressed ?" 
 
 "I declare, miss," said Dimple, " I don t know ; 
 they both seem to be very much distressed, but 
 I think William seems to be in rather the worst 
 plight." 
 
 Between this and the following heat two little 
 boys engaged in a fight, and not less than fifty 
 grown men gathered around them to witness the 
 conflict, with as great an uproar as if a town were 
 on fire. This fight produced two more between 
 grown persons, one of whom was carried from 
 the turf with a fractured skull, as it was thought, 
 from the blow of a stick. But none of the ladies 
 went to the fights. 
 
 Again the horses were brought up and put off. 
 Bertrand once more led the way, and Eclipse fol 
 lowed close at his heels for about a mile and 
 three-quarters, when William ran up under whip, 
 nose and tail to Bertrand. Eclipse fell some dis 
 tance behind, and continued so for a mile and a 
 half, when he came up and nearly locked Ber 
 trand. Thus they ran three-fourths of the re 
 maining distance. On the last stretch they came 
 side to side, and so continued through. On this 
 
218 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 heat I concurred with the judges that it was a 
 draw race. William was double-distanced. 
 
 Bertrand and Eclipse put off upon the fourth 
 heat, Bertrand still taking the lead by about 
 half his length. Eclipse now pushed for the 
 track, but Bertrand maintained it. For two 
 miles did the riders continue so close together 
 that they might have joined hands. They had 
 entered upon the third mile in this way, when, 
 at the first turn of the course from the judges 
 stand, Eclipse fell and killed his rider. Ber 
 trand, being now left without a competitor, gal 
 loped slowly round to the goal, where, with 
 great pomp and ceremony, the pole which held 
 the purse was bent down to his rider, who dis 
 lodged it and bore it on high, backward and for 
 ward, in front of the booth, to the sound of 
 drum, fife, and violin. 
 
 "I declare, " said Mrs. Blue, as her carriage 
 wheeled off, " had it not been for that little ac 
 cident, the sport would have been delightful." 
 
 I left the turf in company with a large num 
 ber of gentlemen, all of whom concurred in the 
 opinion that they had never witnessed such 
 sport in all their lives. 
 
 "What a pity it is," said General Grubbs, 
 " that this amusement is not more encouraged ! 
 
 o 
 
 We never shall have a fine breed of horses until 
 the turf is more patronized." 
 
 I returned home, and had been seated per 
 haps an hour when Baldwin entered. " Well," 
 said he, "I have just been favored with a sight 
 of the contents of that beautiful purse which 
 
THE TURF 219 
 
 Bertram! won,, and what do you think it con 
 tained ?" 
 
 "Why, five hundred dollars,, certainly/ re 
 turned I. 
 
 "No/ continued he, "it contained two half- 
 eagles, sixteen dollars in silver, twelve one-dollar 
 bills, and a subscription paper, which the owner 
 offered to the largest subscriber on it for one 
 hundred and fifty dollars, and it was refused. 
 It is but right to observe, however, that the gen 
 tleman to whom the offer was made assured the 
 owner that it was as good as gold." 
 
 HALL. 
 
AN INTERESTING INTERVIEW 
 
 I HOPE the day is not far distant when drunk 
 enness will be unknown in our highly favored 
 country. The moral world is rising in its strength 
 against the all-destroying vice, and though the 
 monster still struggles, and stings, and poisons 
 with deadly effect in many parts of our wide 
 spread territory, it is perceptibly wounded and 
 weakened, and I flatter myself if I should live 
 to number ten years more, I shall see it driven 
 entirely from the higher walks of life at least, 
 if not from all grades of society. For the honor 
 of my contemporaries,, I would register none of 
 its crimes or its follies ; but, in noticing the pe 
 culiarities of the age in which I live, candor con 
 strains me to give this vice a passing notice. 
 The interview which I am about to present to 
 my readers exhibits it in its mildest and most 
 harmless forms. 
 
 In the county of - , and about five miles 
 apart, lived old Hardy Slow and old Tobias 
 Swift. They were both industrious, honest, sen 
 sible farmers when sober, but they never visited 
 their county town without getting drunk, and 
 then they were precisely what the following 
 narrative makes them. 
 
AN INTERESTING INTERVIEW 221 
 
 They both happened at the court-house on the 
 same day when I last saw them together ; the 
 former accompanied by his wife, and the latter 
 by his youngest son, a lad about thirteen. To 
 bias was just clearly on the wrong side of the 
 line which divides drunk from sober, but Hardy 
 was " royally corned" (but not falling) when they 
 met, about an hour by sun in the afternoon, near 
 the rack at which both their horses were hitched. 
 
 They stopped about four feet apart, and looked 
 each other full in the face for about half a min- 
 nte, during all which time Toby sucked his 
 teeth, winked, and made signs with his shoul 
 ders and elbows to the by-standers that he knew 
 Hardy was drunk, and was going to quiz him 
 for their amusement. In the meantime, Hardy 
 looked at Tobias like a polite man dropping to 
 sleep, in spite of himself, under a long, dull 
 story. 
 
 At length Toby broke silence : 
 
 "How goes it, Uncle Hardy ?" (winking to the 
 company and shrugging his shoulders.} 
 
 "Why, Toby! is that you ? Well upon my 
 why, Toby! Lord help my soul and 
 Why, Toby ! what, in, the, worP, set, you, to, 
 gitt n, drunk this, time o day ? Swear, poin - 
 blank, you re drunk ! Why you must be, an 
 old, fool to, get, drunk, right, before, all these, 
 gentlemen already, Toby." 
 
 "Well, but, now you see" (winking), "Uncle 
 Hardy, a gill-cup ain t a quart-pot, nor a quart- 
 pot ain t a two-gallon jug ; and therefore " (wink 
 ing and chuckling}, "Uncle Hardy, a thing is a 
 
222 
 
 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 thing, turn it which way you will, it just sticks 
 at what it was before you give it first ex ex 
 ploit." 
 
 " Well, the, Lord, help, my- Why, Toby ! 
 what, is the reason, you, never, will, answer, me 
 this, one circumstance and, that, is I, al 
 ways, find, you, drunk, when, I come, here ?" 
 
 HARDY SLOW AND TOBIAS SWIFT 
 
 " Well, now, but, Uncle Hardy, you always 
 know circumstances alter cases, as the fellow 
 said; and therefore, if one circumstance alters 
 another circumstance how s your wife and chil 
 dren ?" 
 
 "I, swear, poin -blank, I shaVt tell you 
 because, you r ally, is, too drunk, to know, my 
 
AN INTERESTING INTERVIEW 223 
 
 wife, when, you, meet, her, in the street, all, 
 day,, long, and, she ll, tell, you, the, very, same, 
 thing, as, all, these, gentlemen, can testimony." 
 
 " Well, but now you see, Uncle Hardy, think 
 ing s one thing and knowing s another, as the 
 fellow said ; and the proof o the pudding s 
 chawin the bag, as the fellow said ; and you 
 see toll - doll - diddle -de - doll - doll - day " (sing 
 ing and capering), "you think I can t dance? 
 Come, Uncle Hardy, let s dance." 
 
 " Why, Toby ! you come to this ? /didn t 
 make, you, drunk, did I? You, ain t,. took, a 
 drink, with, me, this, live, long, day is you ? I, 
 say, is you, Toby ?" 
 
 "No, Uncle Har " 
 
 " Well, then, let s go, take a drink." 
 
 "Well, but you see, Uncle Hardy, drinkin s 
 drinkin ; but that s neither here nor there, as 
 the fellow said. 
 
 " Come " (singing), "all ye young sparkers, come, listen 
 
 to me, 
 And I ll sing you a ditti of a pretti ladee." 
 
 " Why, Toby ! ha ha ha ! Well, I r ally, did, 
 think, you, was, drunk, but, now I believe blast 
 the flies ! I b lieve, they, jest, as li f walk, in my, 
 mouth, as, in, my nose." (Then looking with eyes 
 half closed at Toby for several minutes), "Why, 
 Toby, you, spit bacco-spit, all over, your jacket 
 and, that s jist, the very, way, you, got, in your 
 -fix." 
 
 At this moment Mrs. Slow came up, and, im 
 mediately after, Swift s son, William. 
 
GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 "Come," said the good lady, old man, let s 
 go home ; it s getting late, and there s a cloud 
 rising ; we ll get wet." 
 
 " Why, Nancy ! what in the woiT has got into 
 yon ! Is yon drunk, too ? Well, pon, my word, 
 and honor, I, b lieve, everybody, in this town, is, 
 got drunk to-day. Why, Nancy ! I never, did, 
 see, you, in, that fix, before, in, all, my, live, 
 long, born, days." 
 
 " Well, never mind," said she ; " come, let s 
 go home. Don t you see the rain coming up ?" 
 
 " Well, will, it rain, upon, my, cornfield, or my 
 cotton-patch ? Say, Nancy, which one, will it, 
 rain on ? But, Lord, help, my, soul, you are, too 
 drunk, to tell me, any, thing, about it. Don t 
 my corn want rain, Nancy ? Now, jist, tell me, 
 that ?" 
 
 "Yes ; but let s go home." 
 
 " Then, why, upon, the face, of the earth, won t 
 you, let it, rain, then ? I, rather, it, should rain, 
 than not." 
 
 " Come, old man," said several by-standers, 
 touched with sympathy for the good lady, " come, 
 get on your horse and go home, and we will help 
 you." 
 
 " Oh yes, Uncle Hardy," said Tobias, affecting 
 to throw all humor aside and to become very 
 sober all at once, " go home with the old woman. 
 Come, gentlemen, let s help em on their horses 
 they re groggy mighty groggy. Come, old 
 man, I ll help you" (staggering to Hardy). 
 
 " Jist look at daddy now !" said Billy ; " he s 
 going to help Mr. Swift, and he s drunk as Mr. 
 
AN INTERESTING INTERVIEW 225 
 
 Swift is. Oh, daddy, come, let s go home, or 
 we ll get mazin wet I" 
 
 Toby stooped down to help Hardy on his horse 
 (before the horse was taken from the rack), and, 
 throwing his arm round Hardy s legs, he fell back 
 ward, and so did Hardy. 
 
 "Why Lord, bless, my soul/ said Hardy, "I 
 b lieve, I m drunk, too. What, upon the, face, 
 of the earth, has got, into, all, of us, this day ?" 
 
 "Why, Uncle Hardy," said Toby, "you" pull 
 us both down together !" 
 
 " The old man s mighty groggy," said Toby to 
 me in a half-whisper and with an arch wink and 
 smile as he rose up (I happening to be next to 
 him at the moment). "S pose we help him up 
 and get him off. The old woman s in for it too," 
 continued he, winking, nodding, and shrugging 
 up his shoulders very significantly. 
 
 " Oh no," said I, "the old woman is perfectly 
 sober ; and I never heard of her tasting a drop 
 in all my life." 
 
 "Oh," said Toby, assuming the gravity of a 
 parson, " loves it mightily, mightily ! Monstrous 
 woman for drinking ! at least, that s my opin 
 ion. Monstrous fine woman though ! monstrous 
 fine !" 
 
 " Oh, daddy, for the Lord s sake, let s go 
 home ; only see what a rain is coming !" said 
 Billy. 
 
 " Daddy 11 go presently, my son." 
 
 " Well, here s your horse ; git up, and let s go. 
 Mammy 11 be sure to be sendin for us." 
 
 " Don t mind him," said Toby, winking to me ; 
 
 15 
 
226 GEORGIA SCEJSES 
 
 "he s nothing but a boy ; I wouldn t take no 
 notice of what he said. He wants me " (winking 
 and smiling} " to go home with him ; now you 
 listen." 
 
 "Well, come," said I to Uncle Toby, "get on 
 yonr horse and go home ; a very heavy rain is 
 coming up." 
 
 " HI go presently ; but you just listen to Bill," 
 said he to me, winking and smiling. 
 
 " Oh, daddy, for the Lord s sake let s go 
 home !" 
 
 Toby smiled archly at me, and winked. 
 
 " Daddy, are you going home or not ? Jist 
 look at the rain cominV 
 
 Toby smiled and winked. 
 
 " Well, I do think a drunken man is the big 
 gest fool in the country," said Bill, " I don t 
 care who he is." 
 
 " Bill !" said the old man, very sternly, " hon 
 or thy father and mother/ that that the wom 
 an s seed may bruise the serpent s head." 
 
 " Well, daddy, tell me if you won t go home ! 
 You see it s going to rain powerful. If you 
 won t go, may I go ?" 
 
 "Bill ! Leave not thy father who begat thee j 
 for thou art my beloved son, Esau, in whom I 
 am well pleased/ 
 
 "Why, daddy, it s dropping rain now." 
 
 Here Bill was relieved from his anxiety by the 
 appearance of Aaron, a trusty servant, whom 
 Mrs. Slow had despatched for his master, to 
 whose care Bill committed him, and was soon 
 out of sight. 
 
AN INTERESTING INTERVIEW 227 
 
 Aaron s custom had long been to pick up his 
 master without ceremony,-put him on his horse, 
 and bear him away. So used to this dealing had 
 Toby been that, when he saw Aaron, he surren 
 dered at discretion, and was soon on the road. 
 But as the rain descended in torrents before 
 even Bill could have proceeded half a mile, the 
 whole of them must have been drenched to the 
 skin. 
 
 As to Hardy, whom in the proper order we 
 ought to have disposed of first, he was put on 
 his horse by main force, and was led off by his 
 wife, to whom he was muttering, as far as I 
 could hear him, " Why, Nancy ! how, did, you, 
 get, in, such a fix ? You ll, fall, off, your, 
 horse, sure, as you re born, and I ll have to put 
 you up again." As they were constrained to go 
 on a walk, they too must have got wringing wet, 
 though they had a quarter of an hour the start 
 of Toby. 
 
 HALL. 
 
THE FOX-HUNT 
 
 I HAD often read of the fox-chase and its soul- 
 enlivening pleasures before I was permitted to 
 enjoy them, and, had my reading upon this head 
 been confined to Somerville s Chase alone, I 
 should have been inspired with an irrepressible 
 curiosity to experience its thrilling enjoyments. 
 Listen how he sanctifies the sport, and mingles 
 with it all that is gay and spirit-stirring : 
 
 "But yet, alas ! the wily fox remain d 
 A subtle, pilfering foe, prowling around 
 In midnight shades, and wakeful to destroy. 
 In the full fold, the poor defenceless lamb, 
 Seized by his guileful arts, with sweet warm blood 
 Supplies a rich repast. The mournful ewe, 
 Her dearest treasure lost through the dim night, 
 Wanders perplex d, and darkling bleats in vain, 
 While in th adjacent bush poor Philomel 
 (Herself a parent once, till wanton churls 
 Despoil d her nest) joins in her loud laments, 
 With sweeter notes and more melodious woe. 
 
 For these nocturnal thieves, huntsmen prepare 
 The sharpest vengeance. Oh ! how glorious tis 
 To right th oppress d, and bring the felon vile 
 To just disgrace ! Ere yet the morning peep, 
 Or stars retire from the first blush of day, 
 With thy far-echoing voice alarm thy pack 
 And rouse N thy bold compeers. Then to the copse, 
 Thick with entangled grass and prickly furze, 
 
THE FOX-HUNT 229 
 
 With silence lead thy many-color d hounds, 
 
 In all their beauty s pride. See ! how they range 
 
 Dispersed, how busily this way and that 
 
 They cross, examining with curious nose 
 
 Each likely haunt. Hark ! on the drag I hear 
 
 Their doubtful notes, preluding to the cry 
 
 More nobly full, and swell d with every mouth. 
 
 ******* 
 Heavens ! what melodious strains ! how beat our hearts 
 Big with tumultuous joy ! the loaded gales 
 Breathe harmony; and as the tempest drives 
 From wood to wood, through every dark recess, 
 The forest thunders and the mountains shake 
 
 ******* 
 
 He breaks away. 
 
 Shrill horns proclaim his flight. Each straggling hound 
 Strains o er the lawn to reach the distant pack : 
 Tis triumph all and joy. Now, my brave youths, 
 Now give a loose to the clean, generous steed; 
 Flourish the whip, nor spare the galling spur; 
 But in the madness of delight forget 
 Your fears. For o er the rocky hills we range, 
 And dangerous our course ; but in the brave 
 True courage never fails. In vain the stream 
 In foamfng eddies whirls ; in vain the ditch 
 Wide-gaping threatens death. The craggy steep, 
 Where the poor dizzy shepherd crawls with care, 
 And clings to every twig, gives us no pain ; 
 But down we sweep, as stoops the falcon bold 
 To pounce his prey." * * * 
 
 Filled with such ideas as these lines are cal 
 culated to inspire (and long as is the extract, it 
 does but half justice to the poet, whatever we 
 may think of his subject), it was with kindling 
 enthusiasm that I met the question from my old 
 friend Dause on a clear, chill December even 
 ing. 
 
230 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 "Will yon not join us in a fox-chase to-mor 
 row ?" 
 
 "That I will," replied I, " with pleasure." 
 
 "Have you ever been in a fox-chase?" con 
 tinued he. 
 
 "Never/ 7 said I; "but I have no doubt but 
 that I should be delighted with it." 
 
 " Oh, it s the finest sport in the world, with a 
 full pack ! and we shall have a splendid pack to 
 morrow. Major Crocket is coming in with his 
 hounds, and George Hurt is to bring in his, and 
 all unite with Captain Reid s here ; and we shall 
 have a pack of twenty-two or three. We shall 
 have glorious sport ; you must not fail to join 
 us." 
 
 "No fear of that/ said I; "I shall be among 
 the first on the ground." 
 
 I went home (no matter where), and hastened 
 to bed at an earlier hour than usual, that I might 
 be the surer to rise betimes in the morning. 
 But so bright was the anticipation of the com 
 ing joys that it was long before I could compose 
 myself to sleep ; and when I did, it was rather 
 the semi-sleep of vigilance than the sound sleep 
 of rest. It was sufficient, however, to beguile 
 the intervening hours ; and they seemed but 
 few before the long-drawn notes of Crocket s 
 horn roused me from my slumbers. I sprang 
 from my bed, and, without waiting to throw 
 over me a stitch of clothing (though the weather 
 was extremely cold), I seized my ram s -horn, 
 hoisted a window, and blew a blast which, if it 
 had had fair play, would have waked every 
 
THE FOX-HUNT 231 
 
 hound within five miles round. But it had not 
 fair play ; for, partly from hurry, and partly 
 from my indisposition to thrust my exposed 
 body into the open air, I just gave the mouth of 
 my horn projection enough to throw half its voice 
 out and half inside the house. The first half 
 did no great things ; but the last half did won 
 ders. Bursting upon the unsuspecting family at 
 that still hour, it created a sensation which no 
 one can understand who was not at the falling 
 of the walls of Jericho. The house trembled, 
 the glasses rattled, the women started, and the 
 children screamed. 
 
 " What s that ?" exclaimed the mistress of the 
 household. 
 
 "Mr. Hall is going a fox-hunting," said her 
 husband. 
 
 "Well, I wish he d blow for his foxes out of 
 the house. I can t see what any man of common- 
 sense wants to be gitting up this time of night 
 for, in such cold weather, just to hear dogs run 
 a fox." 
 
 It struck me there was a good deal of sound 
 philosophy in the good lady s remarks ; but she 
 was a woman, and she had never read Somer- 
 ville. 
 
 I dressed myself, walked out, waked my ser 
 vant, and ordered my horse. Truly it was a 
 lovely morning for the season of the year ; De 
 cember never ushered in one more lovely. Like 
 a sheet of snow the frost overspread the earth. 
 Not a breath was stirring. The coming hunts 
 man had sounded his horn upon a distant hill, 
 
232 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 and its unrepeated notes had died away. A 
 cloudless sky overspread the earth, as rich in 
 beauty as ever won the gaze of mortal. Upon 
 the western verge, in all his martial glory, stood 
 Orion, his burnished epaulets and spangled sash 
 with unusual brightness glowing. Capella glit 
 tered brighter still, and Castor, Procyon, and 
 Arcturus rivalled her in lustre. But Sirius 
 reigned the monarch of the starry host ; and 
 countless myriads of lesser lights glowed, and 
 sparkled, and twinkled o er all the wide-spread 
 canopy. 
 
 "Oh !" exclaimed I, "how rich, how beauti 
 ful, how glorious the firmament ! See ! yonder 
 is Bootes in the chase! His Chara and Asterion 
 drive on the lusty Bear ! Who shall condemn 
 the chase, when its pleasures are written in 
 characters of deathless fire upon the face of the 
 heavens ?" 
 
 I was lost in admiration of the splendors which 
 surrounded me, when another sound of the ma 
 jor s horn informed me that he was upon the 
 confines of the village ; and at the same instant 
 my servant announced that my horse was in 
 waiting. As I approached him for the purpose 
 of mounting, 
 
 " Master/ said he, " you gwine fox-huntin on 
 da hoss ?" 
 
 "Yes/ said I, promptly : " why ?" 
 
 "Eh-eh," rejoined he, with a titter. 
 
 " Why, what is it amuses you so, Isaac ?" 
 
 " B ess de Lord ! Smooth-tooth waVt never 
 made for fox-huntin , I know. He too lazy, b ess 
 
THE POX-HUNT 2dd 
 
 de Lord. Time de houir give one squall, dey 
 done leif Smooth -tooth clean outen sight an 
 hearinV 
 
 " Oh, I presume not, Isaac/ said I. "I shall 
 not attempt to keep up with the hounds. I shall 
 just keep in full hearing of them by cutting 
 across and heading them." 
 
 <<r Eh-eh ! Fox run twice round a field fore 
 Smooth-tooth cut across him, I know : b ess de 
 Lord !" 
 
 One Avould suppose that Isaac s hint would 
 have reminded me to take a whip or spur, or 
 both, along with me ; but it did not. 
 
 Crocket s horn was answered by several from 
 the neighboring hills ; and, before I had proceed 
 ed the eighth of a mile towards the point of 
 rendezvous, a loud chorus of horns and beagles 
 announced that all were assembled but myself. 
 I raised my ram s-horn and blew a more propi 
 tious blast than my first, in token that I was on 
 my way. My horse, as the reader has perhaps 
 conjectured from the colloquy just repeated, 
 was not Somerville s " clean, generous steed"; 
 but he was a horse of uncommon gravity and cir 
 cumspection. I gave him the name of Smooth- 
 tooth simply because, when he became my prop 
 erty, the faces of his teeth were generally worn 
 smooth. Though he was kind and accomodat- 
 ing enough in all matters of business, he had an 
 utter aversion to everything like levity, and to 
 all rambles which seemed to have no definite ob 
 ject. Age had done much, doubtless, in sober 
 ing Smooth-tooth s temper ; but infirmity had 
 
234 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 conspired with age to produce this effect, for 
 he was most lamentably deaf ; so that the com 
 mon remark of our State in relation to aged 
 horses, "he has heard it thunder too often/ 
 would by no means have applied to Smooth- 
 tooth ; for, to my certain knowledge, he had not 
 heard it thunder for five years at least. 
 
 I bent my course towards the village, and as 
 Smooth-tooth was wholly unconscious of the up 
 roar there, he set out, as usual, upon a gentle 
 pace. By a diligent application of heels, I sig 
 nified to him that I looked for something more 
 sprightly upon this occasion. Smooth -tooth 
 took the hint, and mended his pace; but I in 
 formed him, as before, that this would not do. 
 He then paced brisker still ; but this did not 
 abate my rigor. He then paced to the top of 
 his speed, and finding me still unsatisfied, he 
 struck, most reluctantly, into a lazy canter. 
 This reduced my beats from triple to common 
 time, but did not bring them to a full pause. At 
 the end of five long, awkward, reluctant lopes, 
 Smooth-tooth stopped with a demi- semiquaver 
 rest, and wheeled at the same instant to go home, 
 in utter disgust ; for he seemed now to have satis 
 fied himself that I had taken leave of my senses, 
 and that it was high time for him to "throw him 
 self upon his reserved rights." As I always enter 
 tained a high respect for these, I accommodated 
 myself to his views, after having discovered that 
 he was not to deforced out of them. There was, 
 however, some policy mixed with my clemency ; 
 for, slowly as Smooth-tooth moved in his master 
 
THE FOX-HUNT 235 
 
 effort, he waked up an artificial breeze, which 
 seemed to search the very cavities of my bones, 
 and which already produced some unacknowl 
 edged yearnings for the comfortable bed which I 
 had deserted. 
 
 When I reached the village I found all the 
 huntsmen collected ; and after a little delay, oc 
 casioned by a dog-fight, or, rather, a fight of one 
 dog against all the rest (for hounds, like the wily 
 politicians of the present day, all jump on the 
 undermost), we moved forward to the hunting- 
 ground. This lay three miles from the village ; 
 and, could anything have enlivened the jaunt, 
 my company would, for it consisted of a merry 
 group of every variety of disposition. But a 
 freezing man cannot be lively, and, consequently, 
 I was not. 
 
 Our pack consisted of eighteen or twenty 
 hounds ; but there were but two of them which 
 could be relied on with confidence George 
 Hurt s Louder and Captain Reid s Rome. With 
 these I was well acquainted, having often been 
 with them in the deer and rabbit hunt. Could 
 I say, like Horace, " exigi monumentum cere pe- 
 rennius," they should be immortalized ; for bet 
 ter dogs never mingled in the chase. They knew 
 perfectly well, from the hour of the hunt and the 
 equipments of the huntsmen, the game of which 
 they were in pursuit ; and no other would they 
 notice. 
 
 Captain Reid s Music was said to be remarka 
 bly "cold," but her veracity was questionable. 
 Her ambition never aimed at anything higher 
 
GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 than finding the trade for fleeter-footed hounds. 
 When the game was up, she soon " knocked out/ 
 and went in quest of cold trails ; why or where 
 fore no one could tell, unless it was that she had 
 the common fault of those who possess peculiar 
 accomplishments. Her habit was to get a trail, 
 and, if she could not lead off on it readily, to 
 "open" by the half-hour upon so much of it as 
 lay within the compass of three rods square. 
 
 We had proceeded about two miles on our 
 way, when, in a washed field to our right, Music 
 opened. 
 
 "What dog s that?" inquired several voices 
 at once. 
 
 "It s Music," said the captain. "She s the 
 coldest hound in the pack." 
 
 The majority were for moving on, regardless 
 of Music s cry ; but, in courtesy to the captain, 
 who had more confidence in her than the rest of 
 us, we agreed "to wait on her a little." 
 
 " Speak to him, Music !" said the captain. 
 
 Music opened again. 
 
 "Try for him, Music!" 
 
 Music opened again. 
 
 "Let s go to her," said the captain ; "there s 
 not much confidence to be placed in her, but it 
 may be a fox." 
 
 We went, and as soon as Music saw us she 
 seemed highly delighted at our attentions, ran 
 into a little gully, put her nose to the ground, 
 seemed in doubt, rooted in the dirt a little way ; 
 then raised her head, paused a second, and trot 
 ted round a circle of ten yards circumference, 
 
THE FOX-HUNT 237 
 
 opening all the time as if the whole horizon were 
 lined with foxes that is, as though there were 
 an abundance of foxes about, but they were a 
 long way off. 
 
 " Try for him again, Music !" said the captain. 
 Music fidgeted about with great animation, shook 
 her tail spiritedly, and, after taking a sweep of 
 sixty feet, returned to the gully and did as before. 
 
 " I m afraid it s too cold/ said the captain. 
 
 " Oh no," said Colonel Peyton, waggishly, 
 "let s wait on her. Bundance o foxes in that 
 gully ; only give Music time, and she ll fill it full 
 o dead foxes before sunrise." 
 
 "I reckon," said Stewart Andrews, in a long, 
 drawling, dry way, "that Music has got upon a 
 Miss Mary Ann that went along there last 
 winter." 
 
 The reader must here be informed that when 
 I went into the neighborhood of which I have 
 been speaking the common appellation of the 
 rabbit was " Molly Cotton-tail," as it still is else 
 where in Georgia ; but as I thought this inele 
 gant, if not vulgar, I prevailed upon my fellow- 
 huntsmen to exchange it for a more classic term, 
 which would preserve the sense, without offend 
 ing the most squeamish delicacy. At my sugges 
 tion, therefore, it was called the "Mary Cotton 
 tail," and afterwards, by further refinement, 
 "Miss Mary Ann Cotton-tail." But to return. 
 
 We were just about taking leave of Music, 
 when a young, awkward, overgrown hound trot 
 ted up to her assistance. He arrived just as Mu 
 sic had paid a third visit to the track in the 
 
238 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 gully,, and as soon as she left it he put his nose 
 to the spot, snuffed a little, and then raised one 
 foot, and with it kindly scratched out the tan 
 talizing track. While I sat "waiting upon" 
 Miss Music my freezing limbs forced me into 
 this train of reflection : " How could I have so 
 far taken leave of my senses as to promise myself 
 any pleasure from such a jaunt as this ! It is ex 
 tremely doubtful whether we shall start a fox ; 
 and if we should, what are the cries of twenty 
 hounds to three or four hours exposure, without 
 even an overcoat, upon such a piercing morning 
 as this ? And wherein will the cry differ from 
 that of the same pack in pursuit of a rabbit on a 
 fine, sunny day ? And why seek amusement in 
 the torture of a poor, unoffending animal ? In 
 this country, at least, I never heard of a single 
 loss from a farm-yard which could be fairly traced 
 to the fox ; not even of a goose, much less of a 
 lamb. My rest broken, my health jeoparded, and 
 my immediate suffering excruciating ! Folly ! 
 madness in the extreme I" 
 
 We had not proceeded far before groups of 
 from two to five hounds could be heard in all 
 directions in pursuit of Miss Mary Anns. 
 Hitherto my hopes had been buoyed up by the 
 number of hounds ; for I naturally concluded 
 that our chances of success increased with their 
 number ; but now I plainly saw that our only 
 hope was upon Rome and Louder, for all the 
 others had resigned themselves unreservedly to 
 Mary Anns. 
 
 We were moving on upon a skirt of woods, en- 
 
THE FOX-HUNT 239 
 
 tirely surrounded by fields, when, from the op 
 posite side of it the well - known voice of the 
 deep - mouthed Louder fell joyously upon our 
 ears. " Hark !" cried all of us at once. In an 
 instant the clear, shrill note of Rome confirmed 
 his companion s report ; for they always hunted 
 together, and each obeyed the call of the other 
 in a moment. Then both together, then alter 
 nately in quick succession, they repeated their as 
 surances. In an instant all the various groups 
 of hounds of which we were speaking were 
 hushed, and from every direction they could be 
 seen dashing to the two favorites. Such is the 
 force of truth even with dumb brutes. 
 
 A loud scream of exultation and encourage 
 ment broke involuntarily from all the huntsmen 
 (not excepting myself), and each dashed for the 
 hounds as the impulse of the moment urged him 
 on. Some skirted the forest in one way, some in 
 another; but Crocket plunged directly through 
 it at half-speed how, Heaven only knows! but I 
 had hardly missed him before I heard him en 
 couraging the dogs in his presence. I took a 
 moment for reflection, which, of course, I was 
 permitted to enjoy alone. My conclusion was, 
 that if Crocket could gallop through the wood 
 with safety, I certainly could pace through it with 
 out injury; and as this was much the nearest way, 
 I determined to attempt it. My resolves were 
 no sooner formed than they were communicated 
 to Smooth-tooth, who entered the wood with his 
 accustomed prudence and circumspection. 
 
 The first streaks of day had now appeared ; 
 
240 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 but they were entirely useless to me after I had 
 entered the forest. I had proceeded about sixty 
 paces, when a limb of some kind (I know not 
 what) fetched me a wipe across the face that set 
 the principles of philosophy at defiance ; for it 
 was certainly four times as severe as Smooth- 
 tooth s momentum would have justified upon 
 any known law of projectiles ; at least it seemed 
 so to me ; for it came like a flash of lightning 
 over the icing of my face, giving me, for the 
 first time in my life, a sensible idea of the 
 Georgia expression "feeling streaked"; for my 
 face actually felt as though it were covered with 
 streaks of fire and streaks of ice. 
 
 Twenty paces more had like to have wound up 
 my hunt with the felon s death ; for as I was 
 moving on with all due caution and sobriety, a 
 little, supple, infrangible grape-vine, attached 
 to two slim, elastic saplings, between which I 
 passed, threw one of its festoons gracefully 
 around my neck, and politely informed me that 
 I must stop or be hanged. I communicated this 
 intelligence to Smooth-tooth without loss of 
 time ; and as stopping was his delight, he, of 
 course, obeyed the mandate as quickly as he 
 could. Prompt as was his obedience, it was 
 too slow for the petulant little grape-vine ; for, 
 though it consented to spare my life, it dis 
 missed me with most ungentlemanly rudeness. 
 It just took my profile from my neck upward, 
 passing over all the turns and angles of my face 
 with a rigor that Socrates himself could not 
 have borne with patience. It returned from its 
 
242 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 delineation like a bowstring, sending my hat 
 aloft,, I know not how high ; but, judging from 
 the time which intervened between its depart 
 ure from my head and its report on the ground, 
 I should say nearly to the height of the wedded 
 saplings. Never but once before had I such a 
 lively sense of the value of a hat in cold weather 
 as I now had. The chills ran from my head to 
 my toes like ague-fits ; and these I had to bear 
 for the space of a minute or two before I could 
 feel out my hat. At last I recovered it and 
 remounted. " How was it possible," exclaimed 
 I, " for Crocket to get through this wood at half- 
 speed ! It must be true that fortuna f civet 
 fortibus, and Fll e en risk a little upon the 
 strength of the maxim." Switches were con 
 venient, as my misfortunes have proved ; and, 
 having supplied myself with one, I drew my 
 hat over my eyes, brought my head down close 
 to Smooth - tooth s withers, hugged him tight 
 with my legs, and put whip to him manfully. 
 Smooth-tooth now felt his dignity assailed, and 
 he put off at a respectable fox-hunting gait. 
 This soon brought me to the edge of the old 
 field, with no other accident than a smart blow 
 from a sapling upon my right knee, which, 
 though it nearly unhorsed me, did me no serious 
 injury. 
 
 Here I found all my companions reassembled. 
 While the drag lay within the frost-covered field, 
 the dogs carried it briskly ; but, as soon as it en 
 tered the wood, they were at fault. In this situa 
 tion they were when I joined the huntsmen. It 
 
THE FOX-HUNT 243 
 
 was long before we had any encouragement to hope 
 that they would ever take it beyond the margin 
 of the field ; occasionally, however, and at pain 
 ful intervals, the two favorites would bid us not 
 to despair. Crocket and three or four of the 
 party remained with and encouraged the hounds ; 
 while Andrews, Harden, and myself adjourned 
 to a narrow lane to enjoy the comforts of the 
 risen sun. The sluggish trail allowed us an 
 hour s basking, which so far relaxed my rigid 
 members as to prepare me for enjoying Marden s 
 amusing stories and Stewart s dry humor. While 
 we were thus engaged, and after we had relin 
 quished all hope of a chase, for that morning at 
 least, the notes of the two favorites became more 
 and more frequent. Soon a third and fourth 
 voice joined them, and the chorus swelled and 
 varied with every second, until eight in the 
 morning, when the whole pack broke in full cry. 
 Reynard was up, and twenty foes in hot pursuit. 
 How or why I am unable to tell, but truth 
 constrains me to say that for some moments I 
 was enraptured with the sport. The fox ob 
 liqued towards us, and entered a field of which 
 our position commanded a full view. He must 
 have left his covert with reluctance, for he was 
 not more than a hundred paces ahead of the 
 hounds when he entered the field. First of the 
 pack, and side by side, the heroes of the clamor 
 ous band rose the fence. Then followed, in 
 thick array, the whole troop ; and close on their 
 rear, Crocket burst through the copse wood and 
 charged the fence without a pause. Around me, 
 
244 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 in every direction I could see the huntsmen 
 sweeping to the choir ; and as, emerging from 
 the forests or gaining the heights around, they 
 caught the first glimpse of the gallant pack 
 they raised a shout which none but the over 
 charged heart can give and none but the life 
 less heart receive unmoved. I was soon desert 
 ed as before ; but, partly from the inspiration 
 of my recent experiment, I plied Smooth-tooth 
 with the whip most astonishingly, and put off in 
 pursuit of the hounds in handsome style, via the 
 lane, which happened to have exactly the curva 
 ture which I desired. 
 
 The fox had hardly left the field through which 
 my eye followed him before, all of a sudden, the 
 voice of every hound hushed. They were com 
 pletely at fault ; and thus I found them when I 
 once more joined my company. They " knocked 
 out," as the saying is, near to the corner of 
 Squire Snibby s field, which lay contiguous to 
 the first which they entered. Dogs and men 
 here toiled assiduously to take the trail away, 
 but in vain. At length Crocket suspected Rey 
 nard of a trick ; he conjectured that the cun 
 ning rogue had ascended the squire s fence, and 
 followed it some distance before he alighted. 
 And so it proved to be ; for, taking some of the 
 dogs with him along the fence side, Crocket in 
 troduced them again to the trail, at the distance 
 of full three hundred yards from the point at 
 which they lost it. The cry was now renewed 
 Avith all its former spirit. The fox, huntsmen, 
 and hounds took to the right ; but, as fields lay 
 
THE FOX-HUNT 245 
 
 in that direction, I concluded that he would 
 soon turn and follow the belt of woodland in the 
 opposite direction ; I therefore took to the left 
 by a pretty little path which might possibly have 
 exerted some influence upon my determination. 
 I had not proceeded far before I encountered a 
 large log lying directly across my path. Here I 
 resolved to experiment a little, unobserved, upon 
 Smooth-tooth s agility. " If," said I, " he clears 
 that log in handsome style, Fll charge the first 
 (low) fence that intercepts my pursuit." Ac 
 cordingly, I put whip and heels to Smooth-tooth, 
 who neared it elegantly, but as soon as he came 
 within jumping distance he stopped, with a sud 
 denness and self-composure which plainly signi 
 fied that he expected me to let it down for him. 
 The consequence was that I was very near being 
 laid across the log for my pains. I now became 
 testy, and resolved that, as he would not " run 
 and jump" it, he should " stand and jump" it. 
 I therefore brought him up to it, and commenced 
 the old discipline. After proposing to go round 
 it either way without my approbation, he at 
 length raised his fore feet and threw them lazily 
 over the log, coming down upon them as the 
 white bear does in breaking ice, and stopped 
 right astride of the log. I was now prompted 
 by curiosity to see, if left to himself, whether 
 he would stand there or go on, and, strange as it 
 may seem, his own free-will led him to neither 
 alternative ; for he was in the very act of draw 
 ing his fore feet back with a kind of fall-down 
 motion when I gave him the whip and forced 
 
246 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 him to drag, rather than lift, his hind feet 
 over. 
 
 This feat performed, I moved on about two 
 hundred yards, when, as I had anticipated, I 
 heard the hounds coming directly towards me. 
 I stopped, and in a minute s time Eeynard 
 crossed the path within thirty steps of me. Then 
 came the dogs in the order in which they en 
 tered the field, and hard upon them came Crocket 
 upon his foaming steed. 
 
 " Did you see him ?" exclaimed he, finding 
 me near the trail. 
 
 " Yes," said I, "distinctly." 
 
 " How was his tail ?" 
 
 " I didn t notice particularly, but sticking to 
 him, I believe." 
 
 " Oh, nonsense !" said Crocket ; " was his 
 brush up or down ?" 
 
 " Neither," said I ; " he brushed right across." 
 
 Here the major uttered something harsh, and 
 dashed on. I afterwards learned that experi 
 enced fox-hunters know the extent of his ex 
 haustion from the manner in which he carries 
 his tail. 
 
 Having reasoned out the fox s movements this 
 time successfully, I concluded I could do the 
 like again ; I therefore reasoned that after ram 
 bling about a short time he would seek the 
 neighborhood of his burrow. Accordingly, I 
 paced back (going round the log this time) to 
 a position where I might intercept him. Here 
 I remained about an hour, without hearing man, 
 horse, or dog, and then I paced home, where I 
 
THE FOX-HUNT 247 
 
 arrived at eleven o clock, perfectly satisfied with 
 fox-hunting. 
 
 When my companions returned, they reported 
 that five miles from where I was waiting for the 
 fox, and seven from the village, at about two 
 o clock P.M., right in the big road, near Rich- 
 land Creek, the dogs "knocked out/ and could 
 never be knocked in again. 
 
 But they brought home a rich fund of anec 
 dote from the chase, which served to enliven 
 many an idle hour afterwards ; I reserved mine 
 to the present moment, to enliven the family 
 fireside on these cold winter evenings. 
 
 HALL. 
 
THE WAXWORKS 
 
 1^ the city of resided once a band of gay 
 
 spirits, who, though they differed from each oth 
 er in some respects, were all alike in this, that 
 they were fond of fun. 
 
 Billy Grossly was an odd compound of grave 
 and humorous. He seldom projected a scheme 
 of amusement, but never failed to take part in it 
 when it was set on foot by others. Why, it was 
 not easy to tell ; for, if he enjoyed the most amus 
 ing pastime at all, his enjoyment was all inward, 
 for he rarely laughed or gave any other visible 
 sign of lively pleasure. 
 
 Jack Clomes seemed to have been made for 
 fun. It was his meat and his drink ; he could 
 no more live without it than he could live with 
 out his ordinary diet. Withal, Jack had a won 
 derful talent for manufacturing food for his 
 prevailing appetite. Indeed, his fault was that 
 he never could be got to perform his part in a 
 humorous exhibition, which required concert 
 with others, without digressing from the main 
 plot whenever he discovered a fair opportunity 
 of picking up a delicate morsel of fun precisely 
 suited to his own palate. 
 
 James M Lass was fond of a harmless frolic, 
 
THE WAXWORKS 249 
 
 and whenever he engaged in it, if by preconcert, 
 he always made it a point of honor to perform 
 his part in strict obedience to the original de 
 sign. 
 
 These three, with six or eight others, whose 
 dispositions it is not necessary to mention, vis 
 ited the village of - - in order to attend the 
 races which were in progress in the vicinity of 
 that place. 
 
 Towards the close of the races, it was discov 
 ered that the joint funds of the whole frater 
 nity were not sufficient to discharge the tavern- 
 bills of any two of them. What was to be done 
 in this emergency ? To have borrowed would 
 have been extremely mortifying, and perhaps a 
 little inconvenient ; to have gone away without 
 paying their tavern-bills would have been con 
 trary to the first principles of Georgia honor. 
 They were soon relieved from their dilemma by 
 the ingenuity of domes. 
 
 During the races a "Down-Easter" had been 
 exhibiting wax figures in the village; and, con 
 cluding that the profits of his business would 
 end with the sports of the turf, he had begun 
 to pack up his portables for removal to a more 
 eligible station. 
 
 Clomes now proposed that his company should 
 take the places and parts of the retiring figures 
 or, to use his own expression, " should play wax 
 works" until they made enough to pay their 
 bills. A single night, it was thought, would 
 suffice for this purpose. 
 
 The plan was no sooner proposed than it was 
 
250 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 embraced by all. The room and its furniture 
 were engaged for the evening ; the parts were 
 cast without difficulty ; and each went industri 
 ously to work to fit himself for the part he was 
 to perform. 
 
 Billy Grossly, having the advantage of all the 
 rest in height and abdominal rotundity, was by 
 common consent chosen as a proper represent 
 ative of Daniel Lambert, the prodigious Eng 
 lishman who weighed, if I remember rightly, 
 upward of six hundred pounds. The reader 
 need hardly be told that, with all his advan 
 tages, Billy required the aid of at least eight 
 pillows, with some extra chinking, as we say in 
 Georgia, to give him a bulk corresponding with 
 this enormous weight ; nor need he be told that 
 divers of the most decent bags which the village 
 afforded, with a small sheet, Avere put in requisi 
 tion, to contain him and his adjuncts. 
 
 Freedom Lazenby was the only one of the com 
 pany who could, with any propriety, personify 
 the Sleeping Beauty ; and of course this part 
 was assigned to him. Freedom s figure was quite 
 too gross for the beau-ideal of female symmetry, 
 and his face, though fine for a man, had rather 
 too much compass to represent nature s finest 
 touches of female beauty. However, it was soon 
 perceived that a counterpane would hide the 
 defects of the first, and a deep-frilled cap would 
 reduce the last to passable effeminacy. But there 
 were two other difficulties which were not so 
 easily removed. It is well known that the inter 
 est of the Sleeping Beauty is much enlivened by 
 
THE WAXWORKS 251 
 
 an exposed bosom, by which reposes a lovely in 
 fant. Even Clomes s ingenuity could not supply 
 these. A living child would not answer ; for, 
 whether taken to the arms of the Beauty asleep 
 or awake, it would be certain to give signs of life 
 before the exhibition ended ; and there was not 
 even a tolerable manufacturer of bosoms in the 
 whole village. There was no alternative ; the 
 interest of the spectators must yield to the neces 
 sities of the performers ; it was therefore deter 
 mined that the Beauty s bosom should share the 
 fate of her person, and be covered ; that an in 
 fant should be manufactured in the best possible 
 style out of rags ; and that the paint-brush should 
 supply the place of wax for the face. As there 
 were no Raphaels, Titians, Wests, or Debuffes 
 in the village, the little innocent did not come 
 from the hands of the artist with the most per 
 fect face imaginable ; but it was the best that 
 could be given to it, and if it wanted interest, 
 that was not the fault of the company. 
 
 To James M Lass was assigned the part of 
 Miss Eliza Failes, the unfortunate girl who was 
 murdered by her unnatural lover, Jason Fair 
 banks ; and Clomes took the part of the mur 
 derer. 
 
 It was proposed to represent Miss Failes at the 
 moment when the blood was streaming from the 
 lacerated throat ; but Jemmy refused to personify 
 her in that condition, and therefore they had to 
 place him in another part of the tragedy. That 
 was selected in which Fairbanks has his victim 
 by the hair with the left hand, the knife upraised 
 
252 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 in the right, in the act of commencing his work 
 of butchery. 
 
 The other figures, being merely distinguished 
 personages, were easily represented. 
 
 From some cause unknown, perhaps to invite 
 visitors, or merely because, perhaps, it was a mat 
 ter that lay fully within the range of the com 
 pany^ art, they resolved to exhibit a corpse in the 
 antechamber gratis ; and Pleasant Halgroce, a 
 jolly son of Bacchus, kindly offered to play this 
 part. Every child knows that a plate of burning 
 spirits, with a little salt thrown into it, will throw 
 over the features of a living person all the pale 
 ness and ghastliness of death. This was the only 
 device used to convert Pleasant s smirky red face 
 into that of a corpse. 
 
 All matters being now arranged, and the per 
 formers having practised their parts in their new 
 characters until they ceased to be ridiculous, they 
 all took their places after an early supper. 
 
 Before the doors were opened to the principal 
 exhibition, a little incident occurred in the ante 
 chamber which suddenly closed the entertain 
 ment in this quarter, and had a material bearing 
 upon that in the other. 
 
 Pleasant Halgroce had taken his position, and 
 was playing a corpse to the life, or, rather, to the 
 death; a number of persons gathered round him 
 with becoming solemnity, when a dumb man, 
 who was devotedly attached to him, joined the 
 group. As soon as his eyes fell upon the pros 
 trate body of Pleasant, he burst into the most 
 piteous and unaffected wailing. Nothing could 
 
THE WAXWORKS 253 
 
 restrain him from embracing his departed friend. 
 He approached him, and was in the act of bending 
 over him, to give him affection s fondest adieu, 
 when a pretty stiff breeze from Pleasant s lips, 
 strengthened by previous suppression, charged 
 with the fumes of about half a pint of brandy, 
 saluted the face of the mourner. The transition 
 from grief to joy was instantaneous with the poor 
 mute. He rose in transports ; pointed to Pleas- 
 ant s face, then to his own, touched his nose, gave 
 it a significant curl, snuffed gently, and then 
 clapping both hands to his stomach, he com 
 menced inhaling and respiring with all the tone 
 and emphasis of a pair of blacksmith s bellows. 
 Pleasant, now perceiving that exposure was in 
 evitable, rose, and rushed upon the dumb man 
 with the fury of a tiger. This sudden resuscita 
 tion of Pleasant to life in its most healthful ac 
 tion was as alarming to the mute as his breathing 
 had been joyous ; and he fled, with Pleasant at 
 his heels, as though all the tenants of the church 
 yard had risen upon him at once. 
 
 Pleasant had only to resume his dress, and 
 appear in a natural light, to pass unknown by all 
 but the initiated ; for, aside from burning brandy, 
 he was no more like a corpse than a rose is like a 
 
 lily- 
 Pleasant, being now out of employment, deter 
 mined to take upon himself the part of historian 
 to the wax figures. 
 
 The door leading to the figures was no sooner 
 opened than several persons entered and viewed 
 them with apparent satisfaction. The spectators 
 
254 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 had increased to the number of eight or ten, when 
 a raw-boned, awkward, gawky son of the forest 
 named Rory Brushwood made his appearance, 
 paid his money, and entered. Pleasant, of course, 
 undertook to enrich his mind with historic lore, 
 while he feasted his eye upon the wonders of art. 
 
 " This," said Pleasant, leading Rory up to the 
 Sleeping Beauty, "is the Sleeping Beauty ; she s 
 given up on all hands to be the prettiest creature 
 in the universal world. Now what would you 
 give, my old Snort, to have as pretty a wife and 
 as pretty a baby as that ?" 
 
 "Humph !" said Rory, "I don t think she s so 
 d d pretty as she mout be; and as for the baby, 
 it looks like a screech-owl in petticoats." 
 
 " Monstrous pretty ! monstrous pretty !" con 
 tinued Pleasant. "But come here hurrying 
 Rory off, lest his remarks should wake the Sleep 
 ing Beauty " come here, and I ll show you some 
 thing that ll make your hair rise like a fighting 
 cat s." 
 
 " There !" continued he, pointing to Billy 
 Grossly, "just take a squint at that fellow, will 
 you : that s Daniel Lambert ; he was born in 
 Nocatchey, and was raised upon nothing but 
 grass-nuts and sweet-potatoes, and just see what 
 he s come to ! He weighs nine hundred and 
 fifty, dead weight." 
 
 " He s a whaler !" said Rory ; " but his face is 
 mighty little for his belly and legs." 
 
 "Oh," said Pleasant, "that s owing to the 
 grass-nuts and potatoes ; you know they always 
 puff up the lower parts mightily." 
 
256 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 Nobody but Billy could have withstood this 
 lecture upon himself without a smile ; but he 
 passed it off admirably. 
 
 The critical time was now at hand. Pleasant 
 and Kory advanced in front of Miss Failes and 
 Mr. Fairbanks, where they found another visitor 
 viewing the interesting couple. Pleasant deem 
 ed it unadvisable to continue his lectures in the 
 presence of Olomes ; and, had Clomes himself 
 been equally prudent, things might all have 
 ended well ; but he was not. 
 
 While the three gentlemen just named were 
 gazing on the figures before them,, Jack took it 
 into his head to try a little experiment upon Miss 
 Failes s muscles, through the sensibilities of her 
 head ; accordingly, he tightened his grip suddenly 
 upon her hair. This brought from her a slight 
 wince ; but Jack did not perceive it. Encouraged 
 by her philosophy, he made a second pull with all 
 the strength that lay in the muscles and sinews 
 of his left hand. 
 
 This brought a palpable grin from Miss Failes ; 
 and, what was worse, in the zeal of his experi 
 ments upon Jim s stoicism, Jack overacted his 
 own part a little. 
 
 " Gentlemen," said Rory, in a tone of awful 
 dignity and self-satisfaction as he turned grave 
 ly to the by-standers "gentlemen, it s flesh and 
 blood." 
 
 " There," said Pleasant, " that just proves 
 what I ve said that these are the best waxworks 
 that ever was showed in all these parts. It s most 
 impossible to tell em from live folks." 
 
THE WAXWORKS 257 
 
 "Gentlemen," repeated Rory, with the same 
 unruffled composure, it s flesh and blood. If 
 I didn t see that fellow wink, and that woman 
 squinch her face, then hell s a dancing-room." 
 
 "No matter for that," said Pleasant, "they re 
 no thin but wax, for all that ; and, if you don t 
 b lieve me, just feel that fellow s cheek." 
 
 Rory raised his finger slowly, as if actually 
 doubting the evidence of his senses, and was 
 just in the act of touching Jack s cheek, when 
 Jack snapped at his finger like a shark, and 
 can ght it between his teeth with a force most 
 unreasonable for fun. 
 
 The shock was so unexpected and severe that 
 it completely unmanned Rory for the instant, 
 and he sank powerless upon the floor. He soon 
 rose, however, and rose with Miss Failes s chair, 
 which happened to be vacant just at this moment ; 
 and then (to use an expression of one of the 
 characters), "if ever you saw waxworks cut dirt, 
 they cut it then." 
 
 Mr. Fairbanks was the first to make his escape, 
 but not without being nearly overtaken by the 
 chair. Miss Failes followed next ; then General 
 Washington and other distinguished personages, 
 whose attitudes prepared them for running. The 
 Sleeping Beauty, being a little encumbered with 
 bedclothes, was rather slow in retiring; she was 
 enough in a hurry, however, to leave her little 
 infant in the middle of the floor to Rory s care, 
 who, discovering its true character just as Daniel 
 Lambert was removing his feathers to another 
 apartment, let him have the baby, with all his 
 
 17 
 
258 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 force, between the shoulders. As this was only 
 rags against pillows, Daniel escaped as free from 
 injury as the rest of them. 
 
 Eory now became clamorous for his money ; 
 but the doorkeeper was not to be found and, 
 indeed, claimed and kept for his services all that 
 was made, leaving the performers to settle their 
 bills as they could. 
 
 HALL. 
 
A SAGE CONVERSATION 
 
 I LOVE the aged matrons of our land. As a 
 class, they are the most pious, the most benevo 
 lent, the most useful, and the most harmless of 
 the human family. Their life is a life of good 
 offices. At home they are patterns of industry, 
 care, economy, and hospitality ; abroad, they are 
 ministers of comfort, peace, and consolation. 
 Where affliction is, there are they to mitigate its 
 pangs ; where sorrow is, there are they to assuage 
 its pains. Nor night nor day, nor summer s 
 heat nor winter s cold, nor angry elements, can 
 deter them from scenes of suffering and distress. 
 They are the first at the fevered couch, and the 
 last to leave it. They hold the first and last cup 
 to the parched lip. They bind the aching head, 
 close the dying eye, and linger in the death- 
 stricken habitation to pour the last drop of con 
 solation into the afflicted bosoms of the bereaved. 
 I cannot, therefore, ridicule them myself, nor 
 bear to hear them ridiculed in my presence. 
 And yet I am often amused at their conversations ; 
 and have amused them with a rehearsal of their 
 own conversations, taken down by me when they 
 little dreamed that I was listening to them. Per 
 haps my reverence for their character, conspir- 
 
260 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 ing with a native propensity to extract amusement 
 from all that passes under my observation, has 
 accustomed me to pay a uniformly strict atten 
 tion to all they say in my presence. 
 
 This much in extraordinary courtesy to those 
 who cannot distinguish between a simple narra 
 tive of an amusing interview and ridicule of the 
 parties to it. Indeed, I do not know that the 
 conversation which I am about to record will be 
 considered amusing by any of my readers. Cer 
 tainly the amusement of the readers of my own 
 times is not the leading object of it, or of any 
 of the Georgia Scenes, forlorn as may be the 
 hope that their main object will ever be an 
 swered. 
 
 When I seated myself to the sheet now before 
 me my intention was merely to detail a con 
 versation between three ladies which I heard 
 many years since, confining myself to only so 
 much of it as sprang from the ladies own 
 thoughts, unawakened by the suggestions of 
 others ; but as the manner of its introduction 
 will perhaps interest some of my readers, I will 
 give it. 
 
 I was travelling with my old friend Ned 
 Brace when we stopped, at the dusk of the 
 evening, at a house on the roadside for the night. 
 Here we found three nice, tidy, aged matrons, 
 the youngest of whom could not have been 
 under sixty; one of them, of course, was the 
 lady of the house, whose husband, old as he 
 was, had gone from home upon a land-explor 
 ing expedition. She received us hospitably, 
 
A SAGE CONVERSATION 261 
 
 had onr horses well attended to, and soon pre 
 pared for us a comfortable supper. While these 
 things were doing, Ned and I engaged the oth 
 er two in conversation, in the course of which 
 Ned deported himself with becoming serious 
 ness. The kind lady of the house occasionally 
 joined us, and became permanently one of the 
 party from the time the first dish was placed on 
 the table. At the usual hour we were sum 
 moned to supper ; and, as soon as we were seat 
 ed, Ned, unsolicited, and most unexpectedly to 
 me, said grace. I knew full well that this was 
 a prelude to some trick I could not conjecture 
 what. His explanation (except so much as I 
 discovered myself) was, that he knew that one 
 of us would be asked to say grace, and he 
 thought he might as well save the good ladies 
 the trouble of asking. The matter, was, how 
 ever, more fully explained just before the mo 
 ment of our retiring to bed arrived. To this 
 moment the conversation went round between 
 the good ladies and ourselves with mutual in 
 terest to all. It was much enlivened by Ned, 
 who was capable, as the reader has been here 
 tofore informed, of making himself extremely 
 agreeable in all company, and who upon this 
 occasion was upon his very best behavior. It 
 was immediately after I had looked at my watch, 
 in token of my disposition to retire for the night, 
 that the conversation turned upon marriages, 
 happy and unhappy, strange, unequal, runaways, 
 etc. Ned rose in the midst of it, and asked the 
 landlady where we should sleep. She pointed to 
 
262 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 an open shed-room adjoining the room in which 
 we were sitting, and separated from it by a log 
 partition, between the spaces of which might be 
 seen all that passed in the dining-room, and so 
 close to the fireplace of this apartment that a 
 loud whisper might be easily heard from one to 
 the other. 
 
 "The strangest match/ said Ned, resuming 
 the conversation with a parson s gravity, " that 
 ever I heard of was that of George Scott and 
 David Snow, two most excellent men, who be 
 came so much attached to each other that they 
 actually got married 
 
 " The lackaday I" exclaimed one of the ladies. 
 
 And was it really a fact ?" inquired another. 
 
 "Oh yes, ma am," continued Ned ; "I knew 
 them very well, and often went to their house ; 
 and no people could have lived happier or man 
 aged better than they did. And they raised a 
 lovely parcel of children ; as fine a set as I ever 
 saw, except their youngest son, Billy; he was 
 a little wild, but, upon the whole, a right clever 
 boy himself. Come, friend Baldwin, we re sit 
 ting up too late for travellers." So saying, Ned 
 moved to the shed-room, and I followed him. 
 
 The ladies were left in silent amazement ; and 
 Ned, suspecting, doubtless, that they were listen 
 ing for a laugh from our chamber as we entered 
 it, continued the subject with unabated grav 
 ity, thus: "You knew those two men, didn t 
 you ?" 
 
 " Where did they live ?" inquired I, not a 
 little disposed to humor him. 
 
A SAGE CONVERSATION 263 
 
 " Why, they lived down there on Cedar Creek, 
 close by Jacob Denman s. Oh, I ll tell you who 
 their daughter Nancy married ; she married 
 John Clarke. You knew him very well." 
 
 "Oh yes," said I, "I knew John Clarke very 
 well. His wife was a most excellent woman." 
 
 "Well, the boys were just as clever, for boys, 
 as she was for a girl, except Bill ; and I never 
 heard anything very bad of him, unless it was 
 his laughing in church ; that put me more out 
 of conceit of him than anything I ever knew of 
 him. Now, Baldwin, when I go to bed, I go to 
 bed to sleep, and not to talk; and, therefore, 
 from the time my head touches the pillow, there 
 must be no more talking. Besides, we must 
 take an early start to-morrow, and Fm tired." 
 So saying, he hopped into his bed, and I obeyed 
 his injunctions. 
 
 Before I followed his example, I could not re 
 sist the temptation of casting an eye through the 
 cracks of the partition, to see the effect of Ned s 
 wonderful story upon the kind ladies. Mrs. 
 Barney (it is time to give their names) was 
 sitting in a thoughtful posture, her left hand 
 supporting her chin, and her knee supporting 
 her left elbow. Her countenance was that of 
 one who suffers from a slight toothache. Mrs. 
 Shad leaned forward, resting her forearm on her 
 knees, and looking into the fire as if she saw 
 groups of children playing in it. Mrs. Reed, the 
 landlady, who was the fattest of the three, was 
 thinking and laughing alternately at short inter 
 vals. From my bed it required but a slight 
 
264 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 change of position to see any one of the group at 
 pleasure. 
 
 I was 110 sooner composed 011 my pillow than 
 the old ladies drew their chairs close together, 
 and began the following colloquy in a low under 
 tone,, which rose as it progressed : 
 
 Mrs. Barney. Didn t that man say them was 
 two men that got married to one another ? 
 
 Mrs. Shad. It seemed to me so. 
 
 Mrs. Reed. Why, to be sure he did. I know 
 he said so ; for he said what their names was. 
 
 Mrs. B. Well, in the name o sense, what 
 did the man mean by saying they raised a fine 
 parcel of children ? 
 
 Mrs. R. Why, bless your heart and soul, 
 honey ! that s what I ve been thinkin about. 
 It seems mighty curious to me, somehow or oth 
 er. I can t study it out, nohow. 
 
 Mrs. 8. The man must be jokin , certainly. 
 
 Mrs. R. No, he wasn t jokin ; for I looked 
 at him and he was just as much in yearnest as 
 anybody I ever seed ; and, besides, no Christian 
 man would tell such a story in that solemn way. 
 And didn t you hear that other man say he knew 
 their da ter Nancy ? 
 
 Mrs. S. But, la messy ! Mis Keed, it can t 
 be so. It doesn t stand to reason. Don t you 
 know it don t ? 
 
 Mrs. R. Well, I wouldn t think so; but it s 
 hard for me somehow to dispute a Christian 
 man s word. 
 
 Mrs. B. I ve been thinking the thing all over 
 in my mind, and I reckon now I don t say it is 
 
A SAGE CONVERSATION 265 
 
 so, for I don t know nothing at all about it bnt 
 1 reckon that one of them men was a woman 
 dressed in men s clothes ; for Fve often hearn 
 o women doin them things, and following their 
 true-love to the wars, and bein a waitin -boy to 
 em, and all sich. 
 
 Mrs. S. Well, maybe it s somehow in that 
 way ; but, la me ! twould a been obliged to 
 been found out. Don t you know it would ? 
 Only think how many children she had. Now 
 it stands to reason that at some time or other it 
 must have been found out. 
 
 Mrs. R. Well, I m an old woman anyhow, 
 and I reckon the good man won t mind what an 
 old woman says to him ; so, btess the Lord, if I 
 live to see the morning, I ll ask him about it. 
 
 I knew that Ned was surpassed by no man 
 living in extricating himself from difficulties ; 
 but how he was to escape from this, with even 
 tolerable credit to himself, I could not devise. 
 
 The ladies here took leave of Ned s marvel 
 lous story, drew themselves closely round the 
 fire., lighted their pipes, and proceeded as fol 
 lows : 
 
 Mrs. B. Jist before me and my old man was 
 married there was a gal named Nancy Mount- 
 castle (puff, puff), and she was a mighty likely 
 gal (puff) ; I know d her mighty well ; she dress 
 ed herself up in men s clothes (puff, puff), and 
 followed Jemmy Darden from P ankatank, in 
 ^KiKG AND QUEEN (puff), clean up to LOUDON. 
 
 Mrs. S. (puff, puff, puff, puff, puff). And did 
 he marry her ? 
 
266 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 Mrs. B. (sighing deeply). No ; Jemmy didn t 
 marry her ; pity he hadn t, poor thing. 
 
 Mrs. R. Well, I know d a gal on Tar River 
 done the same thing (puff, puff, puff). She fol 
 lowed Moses Rusher way down somewhere in the 
 South State (puff, puff). 
 
 Mrs. S. (puff, puff, puff, puff). And what did 
 he do ? 
 
 Mrs. R. Ah ! (puff, puff). Lord bless your 
 soul, honey, I can t tell you what he did. Bad 
 enough. 
 
 Mrs. B. Well, now, it seems to me I don t 
 know much about it but it seems to me, men 
 don t like to marry gals that take on that way. 
 It looks like it puts em out of concait of em. 
 
 Mrs. 8. I know d one man that married a wom 
 an that followed him from Oar lina to this State ; 
 but she didn t dress herself in men s clothes. You 
 both know em. You know Simpson Trotty s 
 sister and Rachael s son Reuben. Twas him and 
 his wife. 
 
 Mrs. R. and Mrs. B. Oh yes, I know em mighty 
 well. 
 
 Mrs. S. Well, it was his wife ; she followed him 
 out to this State. 
 
 Mrs. B. I know d em all mighty well. Her 
 da ter Lucy was the littlest teeny bit of a thing 
 when it was born I ever did see. But they tell 
 me that when I was born now I don t know any 
 thing about it myself, but the old folks used to 
 tell me that when I was born they put me in a 
 quart mug, and mouglit V covered me up in it. 
 
 Mrs. S. The lackaday ! 
 
A SAGE CONVERSATION 267 
 
 Mrs. R. What ailment did Lucy die of, Mis 
 Barney ? 
 
 Mrs. B. Why, first she took the ager and fever, 
 and took a Abundance o doctor s means for that. 
 And then she got a powerful bad cough, and it 
 kept gittin worse and worse, till at last it turned 
 into a consumption, and she jist nat ly wasted 
 away, till she was nothing but skin and bone, and 
 she died ; but, poor creature, she died mighty 
 happy ; and I think in my heart she made the 
 prettiest corpse, considering of anybody I most 
 ever seed. 
 
 Mrs. R. and Mrs. S. Emph ! (solemnly). 
 
 Mrs. R. What did the doctors give her for the 
 fever and ager ? 
 
 Mrs. B. Oh, they gin her a bundance o truck ; 
 I don t know what all ; and none of em holp her 
 at all. But at last she got over it, somehow or 
 other. If they d have just gin her a sweat o bit 
 ter yerbs, jist as the spell was comin on, it would 
 have cured her right away. 
 
 Mrs. R. Well, I reckon sheep-saffron the onli- 
 est thing in nater for the ager. 
 
 Mrs. B. I ve always hearn it was wonderful in 
 hives and measly ailments. 
 
 Mrs. R. Well, it s just as good for an ager ; it s 
 a powerful sweat. Mrs. Clarkson told me that 
 her cousin Betsy s Aunt Sally s Nancy was cured 
 sound and well by it of a hard shakin ager. 
 
 Mrs. 8. Why, you don t tell me so ! 
 
 Mrs. R. Oh, bless your heart, honey, it s every 
 word true ; for she told me so with her own 
 mouth. 
 
GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 Mrs. 8. A hard, hard shakin ager ? 
 
 Mrs. R. Oh yes, honey, it s the truth. 
 
 Mrs. 8. Well, I m told that if you ll wrap the 
 inside skin of an egg round your little finger, 
 and go three days reg lar to a young persimmon, 
 and tie a string round it, and every day tie three 
 knots in it, and then not go agin for three days, 
 that the ager will leave you. 
 
 Mrs. B. I ve often hearn o that, but I don t 
 know about it. Some people don t believe in it. 
 
 Mrs. 8. Well, Davy Cooper s wife told me 
 she didn t believe in it ; but she tried it, and it 
 cured her sound and well. 
 
 Mrs. R. I ve hearn of many folks bein cured 
 in that way. And what did they do for Lucy s 
 cough, Mis Barney ? 
 
 Mrs. B. Oh, dear me, they gin her a powerful 
 chance o truck ! I reckon, first and last, she 
 took at least a pint o lodimy. 
 
 Mrs. S. and Mrs. R. The law ! 
 
 Mrs. 8. Why, that ought to have killed her, 
 if nothing else! If they d jist gin her a little 
 cumfry and elecampane, stewed in honey, or 
 sugar, or molasses, with a little lump o mutton 
 suet or butter in it, it would have cured her in 
 two days, sound and well. 
 
 Mrs. B. I ve always counted cumfry and ale- 
 campane the lead of all yerbs for colds. 
 
 Mrs. 8. Horehound and sugar s mazin good. 
 
 Mrs. B. Mighty good, mighty good. 
 
 Mrs. R. Powerful good. I take mightily to a 
 sweat of sage-tea in desperate bad colds. 
 
 Mrs. 8. And so do I, Mis Eeed. Indeed, I 
 
A SAGE CONVERSATION 
 
 have a great leanin to sweats of verbs, in all ail 
 ments sich as colds, and rheumaty pains, and 
 pleurisies, and sich ; they re wonderful good. 
 Old Brother Smith came to my house from 
 Bethany meeting in a mighty bad way with 
 a cold and cough, and his throat and nose all 
 stopped up ; seemed like it would most take 
 his breath away ; and it was dead o winter, and 
 I had nothin but dried yerbs, sich as camomile, 
 sage, pennyr yal, catmint, horehound, and sich ; 
 so I put a hot rock to his feet, and made him a 
 large bowl o catmint tea, and I reckon he drank 
 most two quarts of it through the night ; and it 
 put him in a mighty fine sweat, and loosened all 
 thephleem, and opened all his head ; and the next 
 morning, says he to me, says he, Sister Shad 
 you know he s a mighty kind-spoken man, and 
 always was so fore he joined society ; and the 
 old man likes a joke yet right well, the old man 
 does ; but he s a mighty good man, and I think 
 he prays with greater libity than most any one 
 of his age I most ever seed ; don t you think he 
 does, Mis Keed ? 
 
 Mrs. R. Powerful. 
 
 Mrs. B. Who did he marry ? 
 
 Mrs. S. Why, he married stop, I ll tell you 
 directly. Why, what does make my old head 
 forget so ? 
 
 Mrs. B. Well, it seems to me I don t remem 
 ber like I used to. Didn t he marry a Rams- 
 bottom ? 
 
 Mrs. R. No. Stay, I ll tell you who he married 
 presently. Oh, stay ! why, I ll tell you who he 
 
270 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 married ! He married old daddy Johnny Hooer s 
 da ter Mournin*. 
 
 Mrs. S. Why, la ! messy on me, so he did ! 
 
 Mrs. B. Why, did he marry a Hooer ? 
 
 Mrs. 8. Why, to be sure he did. You knew 
 Mournin*. 
 
 Mrs. B. Oh, mighty well ; but I d forgot that 
 Brother Smith married her. I really thought he 
 married a Ramsbottom. 
 
 Mrs. R. Oh no, bless your soul, honey, he 
 married Mournin ! 
 
 Mrs. B. Well, the law me, Fm clear beat ! 
 
 Mrs. S. Oh, it s so, you may be sure it is. 
 
 Mrs. B. Emph, emph, emph, emph! And 
 Brother Smith married Mournin Hooer ! Well, 
 I m clear put out ! Seems to me I m gittin 
 mighty forgetful, somehow. 
 
 Mrs. S. Oh yes, he married Mournin , and I 
 saw her when she joined society. 
 
 Mrs. B. Why, you don t tell me so ! 
 
 Mrs. S. Oh, it s the truth. She didn t join till 
 after she was married, and the church took on 
 mightily about his marrying one out of society. 
 But after she joined they all got satisfied. 
 
 Mrs. R. Why, la me ! the seven stars is way 
 over here ! 
 
 Mrs. B. Well, let s light our pipes and take a 
 short smoke and go to bed. How did you come 
 on raisin chickens this year, Mis Shad ? 
 
 Mrs. S. La messy, honey ! I have had mighty 
 bad luck. I had the prettiest pa cel you most 
 ever seed till the varment took to killin em. 
 
 Mrs. R. and Mrs. B. The varment ! ! 
 
A SAGE CONVERSATION 271 
 
 Mrs. S. Oh, dear, yes. The hawk catched a 
 powerful sight of them ; and then the varment 
 took to "em, and nat ly took em fore and aft, 
 bodily, till they left most none at all hardly. 
 Sucky counted em up t other day, and there 
 warn t but thirty-nine, she said, countin in the 
 old speckle hen s chickens that jist come off of 
 her nest. 
 
 Mrs. R. and Mrs. B. Humph-h-h-h ! 
 
 Mrs. R. Well, I ve had bad luck, too. Billy s 
 hound-dogs broke up most all my nests. 
 
 Mrs. B. Well, so they did me, Mis Reed. I 
 always did despise a hound-dog upon the face 
 of yea th. 
 
 Mrs. R. Oh, they re the bawlinest, squallin- 
 est, thievishest things ever was about one ; but 
 Billy will have em, and I think in my soul his 
 old Troup s the beat of all creators I ever seed 
 in all my born days a-suckin o hen s eggs. 
 He s clean most broke me up entirely. 
 
 Mrs. S. The lackaday ! 
 
 Mrs. R. And them that was hatched out, 
 some took to takin the gaps, and some the pip, 
 and one ailment or other, till they most all 
 died. 
 
 Mrs. S. Well, I reckon there must be some- 
 thin in the season this year that ain t good for 
 fowls ; for Larkin Goodman s brother Jirnme s 
 wife s aunt Penny told me she lost most all her 
 fowls with different sorts of ailments, the like 
 of which she never seed before. They d jist go 
 long lookiu right well, and tilt right over back 
 ward (Mrs. B. The law !) and die right away 
 
272 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 (Mrs. R. Did you ever !), with a sort o some- 
 thin 7 like the blind staggers. 
 
 Mrs. B. and Mrs. R. Messy on me ! 
 
 Mrs. B. I reckon they must have eat some- 
 thin 7 didn t agree with them. 
 
 Mrs. 8. No, they didn t, for she fed em every 
 mornin with her own hand. 
 
 Mrs. B. "Well, it s mighty curious ! 
 
 A short pause ensued, which was broken by 
 Mrs. Barney with, "And Brother Smith married 
 Mournin Hooer !" It came like an opiate upon 
 my senses, and I dropped asleep. 
 
 The next morning, when we rose from our 
 beds, we found the good ladies sitting round 
 the fire just as I left them, for they rose long 
 before us. 
 
 Mrs. Barney was just in the act of ejaculating, 
 "And Brother Smith married Mournin -"when 
 she was interrupted by our entry into the dining- 
 room. We were hardly seated before Mrs. Reed 
 began to verify her promise. "Mr. - ," said 
 she to Ned, " didn t you say last night that them 
 was two men that got married to one another ?" 
 
 " Yes, madam," said Ned. 
 
 " And didn t you say they raised a fine pa cel 
 of children ?" 
 
 " Yes, madam, except Billy. I said, you know, 
 that he was a little wild." 
 
 " Well, yes ; I know you said Billy wasn t as 
 clever as the rest of them. But we old women 
 were talking about it last night after you went 
 out, and none of us could make it out how they 
 could have children ; and I said, I reckoned you 
 
A SAGE CONVERSATION 273 
 
 wouldn t mind an old woman s chat, and, there 
 fore, that I would ask you how it could be. I 
 suppose you won t mind telling an old woman 
 how it was ?" 
 
 " Certainly not, madam. They were both wid 
 owers before they fell in love with each other 
 and got married." 
 
 " The lackaday ! I wonder none of us thought 
 o that. And they had children before they got 
 married ?" 
 
 " Yes, madam ; they had none afterwards that 
 I heard of." 
 
 We were here informed that our horses were 
 in waiting, and we bade the good ladies farewell. 
 
 HALL. 
 
THE SHOOTING MATCH 
 
 SHOOTIKG-MATCHES are probably nearly coeval 
 with the colonization of Georgia. They are still 
 common throughout the Southern States,, though 
 they are not as common as they were twenty- 
 five or thirty years ago. Chance led me to one 
 about a year ago. I was travelling in one of the 
 northeastern counties, when I overtook a swarthy, 
 bright-eyed, smerky little fellow, riding a small 
 pony and bearing on his shoulder a long, heavy 
 rifle, which, judging from its looks, I should say 
 had done service in Morgan s corps. 
 
 "Good -morning, sir!" said I, reining up my 
 horse as I came beside him. 
 
 " How goes it, stranger ?" said he, with a 
 tone of independence and self-confidence that 
 awakened my curiosity to know a little of his 
 character. 
 
 " Going driving ?" inquired I. 
 
 "Not exactly/ replied he, surveying my horse 
 with a quizzical smile. " I haven t been a-driv- 
 ing ~by myself for a year or two ; and my nose has 
 got so bad lately I can t carry a cold trail with 
 out hounds to help me." 
 
 Alone, and without hounds as he was, the 
 question was rather a silly one ; but it answered 
 
THE SHOOTING-MATCH 275 
 
 the purpose for which it was put, which was only 
 to draw him into conversation, and I proceeded 
 to make as decent a retreat as I could. 
 
 "I didn t know/ said I, " but that you were 
 going to meet the huntsmen, or going to your 
 stand." 
 
 "Ah, sure enough," rejoined he, "that mout 
 be a bee, as the old woman said when she killed 
 a wasp. It seems to me I ought to know you." 
 
 " Well, if you ought., why don t you ?" 
 
 " What mout your name be ?" 
 
 " It might be anything," said I, with borrowed 
 wit, for I knew my man, and knew what kind of 
 conversation would please him most. 
 
 " Well, what is it, then ?" 
 
 " It is Hall," said I ; " but you know it might 
 as well have been anything else." 
 
 "Pretty digging!" said he. "I find you re 
 not the fool I took you to be ; so here s to a 
 better acquaintance with you !" 
 
 "With all my heart," returned I; "but you 
 must be as clever as I ve been, and give me your 
 name." 
 
 "To be sure I will, my old coon; take it 
 take it, and welcome. Anything else about me 
 you d like to have ?" 
 
 "No," said I, "there s nothing else about you 
 worth having." 
 
 " Oh yes, there is, stranger ! Do you see 
 this ?" holding up his ponderous rifle with an 
 ease that astonished me. "If you will go with 
 me to the shooting-match, and see me knock out 
 the bull s-eye with her a few times, you ll agree 
 
276 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 the old Soap-stick s worth something when Billy 
 Curlew puts his shoulder to her." 
 
 This short sentence was replete with informa 
 tion to me. It taught me that my companion 
 was Billy Curlew ; that he was going to a shoot 
 ing-match ; that he called his rifle the Soap- 
 stick, and that he was very confident of winning 
 beef with her ; or, which is nearly but not quite 
 the same thing, driving the cross ivith her. 
 
 "Well/ 7 said I, "if the shooting-match is not 
 too far out of my way, Fll go to it with pleasure." 
 
 "Unless your way lies through the woods 
 from here/ 7 said Billy, " it 7 11 not be much out 
 of your way; for it s only a mile ahead of us, 
 and there is no other road for you to take till 
 you get there ; and as that thing you re riding 
 in a n t well suited to fast travelling among 
 brushy knobs, I reckon you won t lose much by 
 going by. I reckon you hardly ever was at a 
 shooting-match, stranger, from the cut of your 
 coat ?" 
 
 "Oh yes/ 7 returned I, "many a time. I won 
 beef at one when I was hardly old enough to 
 hold a shot-gun offhand. 77 
 
 " Children don t go to shooting-matches about 
 here/ said he, with a smile of incredulity. " I 
 never heard of but one that did, and he was a 
 little swinge cat. He was born a-shooting, and 
 killed squirrels before he was weaned. 77 
 
 " Nor did / ever hear of but one," replied I, 
 "and that one was myself." 
 
 "And where did you win beef so young, 
 stranger ?" 
 
THE SHOOTING-MATCH 277 
 
 " At Berry Adams s." 
 
 " Why, stop, stranger, let me look at you 
 good ! Is your name Lyman Hall ?" 
 
 " The very same," said I. 
 
 " Well, dang my buttons, if you a n t the very 
 boy my daddy used to tell me about. I was too 
 young to recollect you myself ; but Fve heard 
 daddy talk about you many a time. I believe 
 mammy s got a neck - handkerchief now that 
 daddy won on your shooting at Collen Reid s 
 store when you were hardly knee-high. Come 
 along, Lyman, and I ll go my death upon you at 
 the shooting-match, with the old Soap-stick at 
 your shoulder I" 
 
 "Ah, Billy," said I, "the old Soap-stick will 
 do much better at your own shoulder. It was 
 my mother s notion that sent me to the shoot 
 ing - match at Berry Adams s ; and, to tell the 
 honest truth, it was altogether a chance shot 
 that made me win beef ; but that wasn t gener 
 ally known, and most everybody believed that I 
 was carried there on account of my skill in shoot 
 ing ; and my fame was spread far and wide, I 
 well remember. I remember too, perfectly well, 
 your father s bet on me at the store. He was at 
 the shooting-match, and nothing could make him 
 believe but that I was a great shot with a rifle 
 as well as a shot-gun. Bet he would on me, in 
 spite of all I could say, though I assured him 
 that I had never shot a rifle in my life. It so 
 happened, too, that there were but two bullets, 
 or, rather, a bullet and a half ; and so confident 
 was your father in my skill that he made me 
 
278 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 shoot the half -bullet ; and,, strange to tell, by 
 another chance shot Fd like to have drove the 
 cross and won his bet." 
 
 " Now I know you re the very chap, for I heard 
 daddy tell that very thing about the half-bullet. 
 Don t say anything about it, Lyman, and darn 
 my old shoes if I don t tare the lint oil the boys 
 with you at the shooting-match ! They ll never 
 spect such a looking man as you are of know 
 ing anything about a rifle. I ll risk your chance 
 shots. 
 
 I soon discovered that the father had eaten 
 sour grapes, and the son s teeth were on edge ; 
 for Billy was just as incorrigibly obstinate in his 
 belief of my dexterity with a rifle as his father 
 had been before him. 
 
 We soon reached the place appointed for the 
 shooting-match. It went by the name of Sims s 
 Cross Koads, because here two roads intersected 
 each other ; and because, from the time that the 
 first had been laid out, Archibald Sims had re 
 sided there. Archibald had been a justice of the 
 peace in his day (and where is the man of his 
 age in Georgia whc has not ?) ; consequently, he 
 was called Squire Sims. It is the custom in 
 this State, when a man has once acquired a title, 
 civil or military, to force it upon him as long as 
 he lives ; hence the countless number of titled 
 personages who are introduced in these sketches. 
 
 We stopped at the squire s door. Billy hasti 
 ly dismounted, gave me the shake of the hand 
 which he had been reluctantly reserving for a 
 mile back, and, leading me up to the squire, 
 
THE SHOOTING -MATCH 279 
 
 thus introduced me : " Uncle Archy, this is 
 Lyman Hall ; and for all you see him in these 
 fine clothes, he s a swinge cat ; a dam sight clev 
 erer fellow than he looks to be. Wait till you 
 see him lift the old Soap-stick and draw a bead 
 upon the bull s-eye. You gwine to see fun here 
 to-day. Don t say nothing about it." 
 
 "Well, Mr. Swinge -cat/ said the squire, 
 "here s to a better acquaintance with you," 
 offering me his hand. 
 
 " How goes it, Uncle Archy ?" said I, taking 
 his hand warmly (for I am always free and easy 
 with those who are so with me ; and in this 
 course I rarely fail to please). " How s the old 
 woman ?" 
 
 "Egad," said the squire, chuckling, "there 
 you re too hard for me ; for she died two-and- 
 twenty years ago, and I haven t heard a word 
 from her since." 
 
 "What ! and you never married again ?" 
 
 " Never, as God s my judge !" (A solemn as 
 severation, truly, upon so light a subject.) 
 
 " Well, that s not my fault." 
 
 " No, nor it s not mine wither," said the squire. 
 
 Here we were interrupted by the cry of another 
 Ransy Sniffle : " Hello, here ! All you as wish 
 to put in for the shoot n -match, come on here ! 
 for the putt n in s riddy to begin." 
 
 About sixty persons, including mere spectators, 
 had collected, the most of whom were more or 
 less obedient to the call of Mealy Whitecotton 
 for that was the name of the self -constituted 
 commander-in-chief. Some hastened and some 
 
280 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 loitered, as they desired to be first or last on the 
 list ; for they shoot in the order in which their 
 names are entered. 
 
 The beef was not present, nor is it ever upon 
 such occasions ; but several of the company had 
 seen it, who all concurred in the opinion that it 
 was a good beef, and well worth the price that 
 was set upon it eleven dollars. A general in 
 quiry ran round, in order to form some opinion 
 as to the number of shots that would be taken ; 
 for, of course, the price of a shot is cheapened in 
 proportion to the increase of that number. It 
 was soon ascertained that not more than twenty 
 persons would take chances ; but these twenty 
 agreed to take the number of shots at twenty- 
 five cents each. 
 
 The competitors now began to give in their 
 names ; some for one, some for two, three, and a 
 few for as many as four shots. 
 
 Billy Curlew hung back to the last ; and when 
 the list was offered him, five shots remained un 
 disposed of. 
 
 " How many shots left ?" inquired Billy. 
 
 " Five," was the reply. 
 
 " Well, I take em all. Put down four shots to 
 me, and one to Lyman Hall, paid for by William 
 Curlew/ 7 
 
 I was thunderstruck; not at his proposition 
 to pay for my shot, because I knew that Billy 
 meant it as a token of friendship, and he would 
 have been hurt if I had refused to let him do me 
 this favor j but at the unexpected announcement 
 of my name as a competitor for beef, at least one 
 
THE SHOOTING-MATCH 281 
 
 hundred miles from the place of my residence. 
 I was prepared for a challenge from Billy to some 
 of his neighbors for a private match upon me ; 
 but not for this. 
 
 I therefore protested against his putting in for 
 me, and urged every reason to dissuade him from 
 it that I could, without wounding his feelings. 
 
 " Put it down !" said Billy, with the authority 
 of an emperor, and with a look that spoke volumes 
 intelligible to every by-stander. " Reckon I don t 
 know what I m about ?" Then wheeling off, 
 and muttering in an under, self-confident tone, 
 "Dang old Roper/ 7 continued he, "if he don t 
 knock that cross to the north corner of creation 
 and back again before a cat can lick her foot !" 
 
 Had I been king of the cat tribe they could 
 not have regarded me with more curious atten 
 tion than did the whole company from this 
 moment. Every inch of me was examined with 
 the nicest scrutiny ; and some plainly expressed 
 by their looks that they never would have taken 
 me for such a bite. I saw no alternative but 
 to throw myself upon a third chance shot; for 
 though, by the rules of the sport, I would have 
 been allowed to shoot by proxy, by all the rules 
 of good-breeding I was bound to shoot in person. 
 It would have been unpardonable to disappoint 
 the expectations which had been raised on me. 
 Unfortunately, too, for me, the match differed in 
 one respect from those which I had been in the 
 habit of attending in my younger days. In olden 
 time the contest was carried on chiefly with shot 
 guns, a generic term which, in those days, em- 
 
282 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 braced three descriptions of firearms Indian- 
 traders (a long, cheap, but sometimes excellent 
 kind of gun that Mother Britain used to send 
 hither for traffic with the Indians), the large mus 
 ket, and the shot -gun; properly so-called rifles 
 were, however, always permitted to compete with 
 them, under equitable restrictions. These were, 
 that they should be fired offhand, while the shot 
 guns were allowed a rest, the distance being 
 equal ; or that the distance should be one hun 
 dred yards for a rifle to sixty for the shot-gun, 
 the mode of firing being equal. 
 
 But this was a match of rifles exclusively ; and 
 these are by far the most common at this time. 
 
 Most of the competitors fire at the same target, 
 which is usually a board from nine inches to a 
 foot wide, charred on one side as black as it can 
 be made by fire, without impairing materially the 
 uniformity of its surface ; on the darkened side 
 of which is pegged a square piece of white paper, 
 which is larger or smaller according to the dis 
 tance at which it is to be placed from the marks 
 men. This is almost invariably sixty yards, and 
 for it the paper is reduced to about two and a 
 half inches square. Out of the centre of it is cut 
 a rhombus of about the width of an inch, meas 
 ured diagonally ; this is the bull s-eye or diamond, 
 as the marksmen choose to call it ; in the centre 
 of this is the cross. But every man is permitted 
 to fix his target to his own taste ; and, according 
 ly, some remove one-fourth of the paper, cutting 
 from the centre of the square to the two lower 
 corners, so as to leave a large angle opening from 
 
THE SHOOTING-MATCH 283 
 
 the centre downward, while others reduce the 
 angle more or less ; but it is rarely the case that 
 all are not satisfied with one of these figures. 
 
 The beef is divided into five prizes, or, as they 
 are commonly termed, five quarters the hide and 
 tallow counting as one. For several years after 
 the Revolutionary War a. sixth was added the 
 lead which was shot in the match. This was the 
 prize of the sixth best shot ; and it used to be 
 carefully extracted from the board or tree in 
 which it was lodged, and afterwards remoulded. 
 But this grew out of the exigency of the times, 
 and has, I believe, been long since abandoned 
 everywhere. 
 
 The three master shots and rivals were Moses 
 Firmby, Larkin Spivey, and Billy Curlew ; to 
 whom was added, upon this occasion, by com 
 mon consent and with awful forebodings, your 
 humble servant. 
 
 The target was fixed at an elevation of about 
 three feet from the ground ; and the judges (Cap 
 tain Turner and Squire Porter) took their stands 
 by it, joined by about half the spectators. 
 
 The first name on the catalogue was Mealy 
 Whitecotton. Mealy stepped out, rifle in hand, 
 and toed the mark. His rifle was about three 
 inches longer than himself, and near enough his 
 own thickness to make the remark of Darby 
 Chislom, as he stepped out, tolerably appropri 
 ate : "Here comes the corn-stock and the suck 
 er !" said Darby. 
 
 "Kiss my foot !" said Mealy. "The way I ll 
 creep into that bull s-eye s a fact." 
 
284 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 "You d better creep into your hind sight," 
 said Darby. Mealy raised and fired. 
 
 (f A pretty good shot, Mealy I" said one. 
 
 " Yes, a blamed good shot \" said a second. 
 
 "Well done, Meal I" said a third. 
 
 I was rejoiced when one of the company in 
 quired, " Where is it ?" for I could hardly believe 
 they were founding these remarks upon the evi 
 dence of their senses. 
 
 " Just on the right-hand side of the bull s-eye," 
 was the reply. 
 
 I looked with all the power of my eyes, but was 
 unable to discover the least change in the sur 
 face of the paper. Their report, however, was 
 true ; so much keener is the vision of a practised 
 than an unpractised eye. 
 
 The next in order was Hiram Baugh. Hiram 
 was like some race-horses which I have seen ; he 
 was too good not to contend for every prize, and 
 too good for nothing ever to win one. 
 
 " Gentlemen," said he, as he came to the mark, 
 "I don t say that I ll win beef, but if my piece 
 don t blow I ll eat the paper, or be mighty apt to 
 do it, if you ll b lieve my racket. My powder are 
 not good powder, gentlemen ; I bought it thum 
 [from] Zeb Daggett, and gin him three-quar 
 ters of a dollar a pound for it ; but it are not 
 what I call good powder, gentlemen ; but if old 
 Buck-killer burns it clear, the boy you call Hiram 
 Baugh eats paper, or comes mighty near it." 
 
 " Well, blaze away," said Mealy, "and be d d 
 to you, and Zeb Daggett, and your powder, and 
 Buck -killer, and your powder-horn and shot- 
 
THE SHOOTING-MATCH 285 
 
 pouch to boot ! How long yon gwine stand thar 
 talking fore you shoot ?" 
 
 "Never mind," said Hiram, "I can talk a 
 little and shoot a little too ; but that s nothin . 
 Here goes !" 
 
 Hiram assumed the figure of a note of interroga 
 tion, took a long sight, and fired. 
 
 "I ve eat paper," said he, at the crack of the 
 gun, without looking, or seeming to look, towards 
 the target. " Buck-killer made a clear racket. 
 Where am I, gentlemen ?" 
 
 "You re just between Mealy and the dia 
 mond," was the reply. 
 
 " I said I d eat paper, and I ve done it ; haven t 
 I, gentlemen ?" 
 
 " And s pose you have !" said Mealy ; " what do 
 that mount to ? You ll not win beef, and never 
 did." 
 
 " Be that as it mout be, I ve beat Meal Cotton 
 mighty easy ; and the boy you call Hiram Baugh 
 are able to do it." 
 
 " And what do that mount to ? Who the devil 
 a n t able to beat Meal Cotton ? I don t make 
 no pretence of bein nothin great, nohow ; but 
 you always makes out as if you were gwine to 
 keep em makin crosses for you constant, and 
 then do nothin but eat paper at last ; and that s 
 a long way from eatin beef, cordin to Meal Cot 
 ton s notions, as you call him." 
 
 Simon Stow was now called on. 
 
 " Oh, Lord !" exclaimed two or three ; "now we 
 have it. It ll take him as long to shoot as it would 
 take Squire Dobbins to run round a track o land." 
 
286 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 "Good-bye, boys/ said Bob Martin. 
 
 " Where are you going, Bob ?" 
 
 " Going to gather in my crop ; I ll be back 
 agin, though, by the time Sime Stow shoots." 
 
 Simon was used to all this, and therefore it 
 did not disconcert him in the least. He went off 
 and brought his own target, and set it up with 
 his own hand. 
 
 He then wiped out his rifle ; rubbed the pan 
 with his hat ; drew a piece of tow through the 
 touchhole with his wiper ; filled his charger with 
 great care ; poured the powder into the rifle with 
 equal caution; shoved in with his finger the two 
 or three vagrant grains that lodged round the 
 mouth of his piece; took out a handful of bul 
 lets, looked them all over carefully, selected one 
 without flaw or wrinkle; drew out his patching, 
 found the most even part of it ; sprung open the 
 grease-box in the breech of his rifle ; took up just 
 so much grease, distributed it with great equal 
 ity over the chosen part of his patching ; laid it 
 over the muzzle of his rifle, grease side down; 
 placed his ball upon it, pressed it a little; then 
 took it up and turned the neck a little more per 
 pendicularly downward, placed his knife-handle 
 on it, just buried it in the mouth of the rifle; 
 cut off the redundant patching just above the 
 bullet, looked at it, and shook his head, in token 
 that he had cut off too much or too little no one 
 knew which sent down the ball ; measured the 
 contents of his gun with his first and second fin 
 gers on the protruding part of the ramrod; shook 
 his head again, to signify there was too much or 
 
THE SHOOTING-MATCH 387 
 
 too little powder ; primed carefully ; placed an 
 arched piece of tin over the hind sight to shade 
 it ; took his place ; got a friend to hold his hat 
 over the the fore sight to shade it ; took a very 
 long sight, fired, and didn t even eat the paper. 
 
 "My piece was badly loadned," said Simon, 
 when he learned the place of his ball. 
 
 " Oh, you didn t take time," said Mealy. "No 
 man can shoot that s in such a hurry as you is. 
 I d hardly got to sleep fore I heard the crack o 
 the gun." 
 
 The next was Moses Firmby. He was a tall, 
 slim man, of rather sallow complexion ; and it is 
 a singular fact that though probably no part of 
 the world is more healthy than the mountainous 
 parts of Georgia, the mountaineers have not gen 
 erally robust frames or fine complexions ; they 
 are, however, almost inexhaustible by toil.* 
 
 Moses kept us not long in suspense. His rifle 
 was already charged, and he fixed it upon the 
 target with a steadiness of nerve and aim that 
 was astonishing to me and alarming to all the 
 rest. A few seconds, and the report of his rifle 
 broke the deathlike silence which prevailed. 
 
 " No great harm done yet," said Spivey, mani 
 festly relieved from anxiety by an event which 
 seemed to me better calculated to produce de 
 spair. Firmby s ball had cut out the lower angle 
 of the diamond, directly on a right line with the 
 cross. 
 
 Three or four followed him without bettering 
 his shot ; all of whom, however, with one excep 
 tion, "eat the paper." 
 
288 GEOKGIA SCENES 
 
 It now came to Spivey s turn. There was 
 nothing remarkable in his person or manner. 
 He took his place, lowered his rifle slowly from 
 a perpendicular until it came on a line with the 
 mark, held it there like a vise for a moment, and 
 fired. 
 
 " Pretty sevigrous, but nothing killing yet," 
 said Billy Curlew, as he learned the place of 
 Spivey s ball. 
 
 Spivey s ball had just broken the upper angle 
 of the diamond, beating Firmby about half its 
 width. 
 
 A few more shots, in which there was nothing 
 remarkable, brought us to Billy Curlew. Billy 
 stepped out with much confidence, and brought 
 the Soap-stick to an order, while he deliberately 
 rolled up his shirt - sleeves. Had I judged of 
 Billy s chance of success from the looks of his 
 gun, I should have said it was hopeless. The 
 stock of Soap-stick seemed to have been made 
 with a case-knife, and had it been, the tool would 
 have been but a poor apology for its clumsy ap 
 pearance. An auger-hole in the breech served 
 for a grease-box ; a cotton string assisted a single 
 screw in holding on the lock ; and the thimbles 
 were made, one of brass, one of iron, and one 
 of tin. 
 
 "Where s Lark Spivey s bullet?" called out 
 Billy to the judges, as he finished rolling up his 
 sleeves. 
 
 "About three-quarters of an inch from the 
 cross," was the reply. 
 
 " Well, clear the way I the Soap-stick s com- 
 
THE SHOOTING-MATCH 289 
 
 ing, and she ll be along in there among em pres 
 ently." 
 
 Billy now planted himself astraddle, like an 
 inverted V ; shot forward his left hip, drew his 
 body back to an angle of about forty-five degrees 
 with the plane of the horizon, brought his cheek 
 down close to the breech of old Soap-stick, and 
 fixed her upon the mark with untrembling hand. 
 His sight was long, and the swelling muscles of 
 his left arm led me to believe that he was lessen 
 ing his chance of success with every half-second 
 that he kept it burdened Avith his ponderous 
 rifle ; but it neither flagged nor wavered until 
 Soap-stick made her report. 
 
 " Where am I ?" said Billy, as the smoke rose 
 from before his eye. 
 
 " You ve jist touched the cross on the lower 
 side," was the reply of one of the judges. 
 
 " I was afraid I was drawing my bead a leetle 
 too fine," said Billy. " Now, Lyman, you see 
 what the Soap-stick can do. Take her, and 
 show the boys how you used to do when you 
 was a baby." 
 
 I begged to reserve my shot to the last ; plead 
 ing, rather sophistically, that it was, in point of 
 fact, one of Billy s shots. My plea was rather 
 indulged than sustained, and the marksmen who 
 had taken more than one shot commenced the 
 second round. This round was a manifest im 
 provement upon the first. The cross was driven 
 three times once by Spivey, once by Firmby, 
 and once by no less a personage than Mealy 
 Whitecotton, whom chance seemed to favor for 
 
 19 
 
290 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 this time, merely that he might retaliate upon 
 Hiram Baugh : and the bull s-eye was disfigured 
 out of all shape. 
 
 The third and fourth rounds were shot. Billy 
 discharged his last shot, which left the rights of 
 parties thus : Billy Curlew first and fourth choice, 
 Spivey second, Firrnby third, and Whitecotton 
 fifth. Some of my readers may perhaps be curi 
 ous to learn how a distinction comes to be made 
 between several, all of whom drive the cross. 
 The distinction is perfectly natural and equita 
 ble. Threads are stretched from the uneffaced 
 parts of the once intersecting lines, by means of 
 which the original position of the cross is pre 
 cisely ascertained. Each bullet-hole being nice 
 ly pegged up as it is made, it is easy to ascertain 
 its circumference. To this I believe they usu 
 ally, if not invariably, measure, where none of 
 the balls touch the cross ; but if the cross be 
 driven, they measure from it to the centre of 
 the bullet -hole. To make a draw -shot, there 
 fore, between two who drive the cross, it is nec 
 essary that the centre of both balls should pass 
 directly through the cross a thing that very 
 rarely happens. 
 
 The Bite alone remained to shoot. Billy wiped 
 out his rifle carefully, loaded her to the top of 
 his skill, ar.d handed her to me. "Now," said 
 he, "Lyman, draw a fine bead, but not too fine ; 
 for Soap-stick bears up her ball well. Take care, 
 and don t touch the trigger until you ve got 
 your bead, for she s spring -trigger d, and goes 
 mighty easy ; but you hold her to the place you 
 
THE SHOOTING -MATCH 291 
 
 want her, and if she don t go there, dang old 
 Roper." 
 
 I took hold of Soap-stick, and lapsed imme 
 diately into the most hopeless despair. I am 
 sure I never handled as heavy a gun in all my 
 life. "Why, Billy/ said I, "you little mortal, 
 you ! what do you use such a gun as this for ?" 
 
 " Look at the bull s-eye yonder !" said he. 
 
 "True," said I, "but /can t shoot her; it is 
 impossible." 
 
 "Go long, you old coon !" said Billy; "I see 
 what you re at," intimating that all this was 
 merely to make the coming shot the more re 
 markable. " Daddy s little boy don t shoot 
 anything but the old Soap-stick here to-day, I 
 know." 
 
 The judges, I knew, were becoming impatient, 
 and, withal, my situation was growing more em 
 barrassing every second ; so I e en resolved to try 
 the Soap-stick without further parley. 
 
 I stepped out, and the most intense interest 
 was excited all around me, and it flashed like 
 electricity around the target, as I judged from 
 the anxious gaze of all in that direction. 
 
 Policy dictated that I should fire with a fall 
 ing rifle, and I adopted this mode, determining 
 to fire as soon as the sights came on a line with 
 the diamond, bead or no bead. Accordingly, I 
 commenced lowering old Soap -stick; but, in 
 spite of all my muscular powers, she was strict 
 ly obedient to the laws of gravitation, and came 
 down with a uniformly accelerated velocity. 
 Before I could arrest her downward flight she 
 
292 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 had not only passed the target, but was making 
 rapid encroachments on my own toes. 
 
 "Why, he s the weakest man in the arms I 
 ever seed," said one, in a half-whisper. 
 
 "It s only his fun/ said Billy; "I know 
 him." 
 
 "It may be fun," said the other, "but it 
 looks mightily like yearnest to a man up a 
 tree." 
 
 I now, of course, determined to reverse the 
 mode of firing, and put forth all my physical 
 energies to raise Soap-stick to the mark. The 
 effort silenced Billy, and gave tongue to all his 
 companions. I had just strength enough to 
 master Soap -stick s obstinate proclivity, and, 
 consequently, my nerves began to exhibit palpa 
 ble signs of distress with her first imperceptible 
 movement upward, A trembling commenced in 
 my arms, increased, and extended rapidly to my 
 body and lower extremities ; so that, by the time 
 that I had brought Soap-stick up to the mark 
 I was shaking from head to foot, exactly like a 
 man under the continued action of a strong gal 
 vanic battery. In the meantime my friends 
 gave vent to their feelings freely. 
 
 "I swear poin -blank," said one, "that man 
 can t shoot." 
 
 " He used to shoot well," said another ; " but 
 can t now, nor never could." 
 
 " You better git away from bout that mark !" 
 bawled a third, " for I ll be dod darned if Broad 
 cloth don t give some of you the dry gripes if 
 you stand too close thare." 
 
THE SHOOTING -MATCH 293 
 
 "The stranger s got the peedoddles," * said a 
 fourth, with humorous gravity. 
 
 " If he had bullets enough in his gun he d 
 shoot a ring round the bull s-eye big as a spin 
 ning-wheel," said a fifth. 
 
 As soon as I found that Soap-stick was high 
 enough (for I made no further use of the sights 
 than to ascertain this fact), I pulled trigger, and 
 off she went. I have always found that the 
 most creditable way of relieving myself of deri 
 sion was to heighten it myself as much as possible. 
 It is a good plan in all circles, but by far the 
 best which can be adopted among the plain, 
 rough farmers of the country. Accordingly, I 
 brought old Soap-stick to an order with an air 
 of triumph, tipped Billy a wink, and observed, 
 "Now, Billy, s your time to make your fortune. 
 Bet em two to one that I ve knocked out the 
 cross." 
 
 "No, I ll be dod blamed if I do," said Billy; 
 "but I ll bet you two to one you ha n t hit the 
 plank." 
 
 "Ah, Billy," said I, "I was joking about 
 betting, for I never bet ; nor would I have you 
 to bet : indeed, I do not feel exactly right in 
 shooting for beef, for it is a species of gaming 
 
 * This word was entirely new to me ; but like most, if 
 not all, words in use among the common people, it is 
 doubtless a legitimate English word, or, rather, a com 
 pound of two words, the last a little corrupted, and was 
 very aptly applied in this instance. It is a compound 
 of "pee," to peep with one eye, and " daddle," to totter 
 or wabble. 
 
294 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 at last ; but Fll say this much, if that cross isn t 
 knocked out I ll never shoot for beef again as 
 long as I live." 
 
 "By dod," said Mealy Whitecotton, "you ll 
 lose no great things at that !" 
 
 " Well," said I, " I reckon I know a little about 
 wabbling. Is it possible, Billy, a man who 
 shoots as well as you do never practised shoot 
 ing with the double wabble ? It s the greatest 
 take in in the world when you learn to drive the 
 cross with it. Another sort for getting bets 
 upon, to the drop-sight, with a single wabble ! 
 And the Soap-stick s the very yarn for it." 
 
 " Tell you what, stranger," said one, " you re 
 too hard for us all here. We never Jiearn o 
 that sort o shoot n in these parts." 
 
 "Well," returned I, "you ve seen it now, and 
 I m the boy that can do it." 
 
 The judges were now approaching with the 
 target, and a singular combination of circum 
 stances had kept all my party in utter ignorance 
 of the result of my shot. Those about the target 
 had been prepared by Billy Curlew for a great 
 shot from me ; their expectations had received 
 assurance from the courtesy which had been ex 
 tended to me ; and nothing had happened to 
 disappoint them but the single caution to them 
 against the "dry gripes," which was as likely to 
 have been given in irony as in earnest ; for my 
 agonies under the weight of the Soap-stick were 
 either imperceptible to them at the distance of 
 sixty yards, or, being visible, were taken as the 
 nourishes of an expert who wished to "astonish 
 
THE SHOOTING-MATCH 295 
 
 the natives." The other party did not think 
 the direction of my ball worth the trouble of a 
 question ; or if they did, my airs and harangue 
 had put the thought to flight before it was de 
 livered. Consequently, they were all transfixed 
 with astonishment when the judges presented 
 the target to them and gravely observed, " It s 
 only second best, after all the fuss." 
 
 " Second best !" exclaimed I, with uncontrol 
 lable transports. 
 
 The whole of my party rushed to the target 
 to have the evidence of their senses before they 
 would believe the report ; but most marvellous 
 fortune decreed that it should be true. Their 
 incredulity and astonishment were most fortu 
 nate for me ; for they blinded my hearers to the 
 real feelings with which the exclamation was ut 
 tered, and allowed me sufficient time. to prepare 
 myself for making the best use of what I had 
 said before with a very diiferent object. 
 
 "Second best!" reiterated I, with an air of 
 despondency, as the company turned from the 
 target to me. " Second best only ? Here, Billy, 
 my son, take the old Soap-stick ; she s a good 
 piece, but I m getting too old and dim-sighted to 
 shoot a rifle, especially with the drop-sight and 
 double wabbles." 
 
 " Why, good Lord almighty !" said Billy, with 
 a look that baffles all description, " a n t you driv 
 the cross ?" 
 
 " Oh, driv the cross !" rejoined I, carelessly. 
 " What s that ? Just look where my ball is ! I 
 do believe in my soul its centre is a full quarter 
 
296 GEORGIA SCENES 
 
 of an inch from the cross. I wanted to lay the 
 centre of the bullet upon the cross, just as if 
 you d put it there with your fingers." 
 
 Several received this palaver with a contempt 
 uous but very appropriate curl of the nose; and 
 Mealy Whitecotton offered to bet a half -pint 
 " that I couldn t do the like again with no sort of 
 wabbles, he didn t care what." But I had already 
 fortified myself on this quarter by my morality. 
 A decided majority, however, were clearly of 
 opinion that I was serious; and they regarded 
 me as one of the wonders of the world. Billy in 
 creased the majority by now coming out fully with 
 my history, as he had received it from his father; 
 to which I listened with quite as much astonish 
 ment as any other one of his hearers. He begged 
 me to go home with him for the night, or, as he 
 expressed it, " to go home with him and swap lies 
 that night, and it shouldn t cost me a cent"; the 
 true reading of which is, that if I would go home 
 with him, and give him the pleasure of an even 
 ing s chat about old times, his house should be as 
 free to me as my own. But I could not accept 
 his hospitality without retracing five or six miles 
 of the road which I had already passed, and there 
 fore I declined it. 
 
 "Well, if you won t go, what must I tell the 
 old woman for you ? for she ll be mighty glad 
 to hear from the boy that won the silk handker 
 chief for her, and I expect she ll lick me for not 
 bringing you home with me." 
 
 "Tell her," said I, "that I send her a quar 
 ter of beef, which I won, as I did the handker- 
 
THE SHOOTING-MATCH 297 
 
 chief, by nothing in the world but mere good 
 luck/ 
 
 " Hold your jaw, Lyman I" said Billy ; " I aVt 
 a gwine to tell the old woman any such lies ; for 
 she s a rael regular built Meth dist." 
 
 As I turned to depart " Stop a minute, 
 stranger !" said one ; then, lowering his voice to 
 a confidential but distinctly audible tone, " What 
 you offering for ?" continued he. I assured him 
 I was not a candidate for anything; that I had ac 
 cidentally fallen in with Billy Curlew, who begged 
 me to come with him to the shooting - match, 
 and, as it lay right on my road, I had stopped. 
 "Oh," said he, with a conciliatory nod, "if 
 you re up for anything, you needn t be mealy- 
 mouthed about it fore us boys ; for we ll all go 
 in for you here up to the handle." 
 
 " Yes," said Billy, " dang old Roper if we don t 
 go our death for you, no matter who offers ! If 
 ever you corne out for anything, Lyman, jist let 
 the boys of Upper Ilogthief know it, and they ll 
 go for you to the hilt, against creation, tit or 
 no tit, that s the tatur." 
 
 I thanked them kindly, but repeated my assur 
 ances. The reader will not suppose that the dis 
 trict took its name from the character of the in 
 habitants. In almost every county in the State 
 there is some spot or district which bears a 
 contemptuous appellation, usually derived from 
 local rivalships, or from a single accidental cir 
 cumstance. HALL. 
 
 THE END 
 
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