LLl 
 
 CGR 
 
 CMP 
 
 1
 
 THE ELDER MACGREGOR
 
 "Has he said anything, Jean ?" 
 
 Page log. Frontispiece. 
 
 The Elder MacGrtfo
 
 The Elder 
 MacGregor 
 
 By CHARLES HANNAN 
 
 jtuther / " fbt Ccacbman with Ttlltw Lai*," ll T"hi Caftivc 
 / Piin," tti. 
 
 Illustrated by 
 
 JAMES H. LOWELL, Jr 
 
 R. F. FENNO & COMPANY 
 9 AND ii EAST 1 6-TH ST. :: NEW YORK
 
 Copyright i 904 by 
 R. F. Fenno & Company
 
 CONTENTS 
 
 I. MACGREGOR ON HUMOR J 
 
 II. THE SALVATION ARMY 1 9 
 
 III. THE GIPSIES OF THE GLEN 30 
 
 IV. MISTRESS MACKIE AND THE POWDERS . . 48 
 
 V. MACGREGOR ATTENDS A FIRE .... 6 1 
 
 VI. JIMMY OF THE HILLS 75 
 
 VII. MACGREGOR AND THE WHITE COW ... 89 
 
 VIII. ANGUS MACRAE IOI 
 
 IX. MACGREGOR AND THE BUTTON . . . . 113 
 
 X. MACGREGOR AND THE MINISTER'S COAT . 124 
 
 XI. GOING FOR A SOLDIER 139 
 
 XII. MACGREGOR ON WRITING A BOOK . . . 152 
 
 213S109
 
 CHAPTER I 
 
 MACGKEGOR ON HUMOR 
 
 " MAN," said MacGregor the elder, " if 
 there was anything either pathetic or 
 humorous in the matter I'd be glad to 
 gratify your curiosity, but there's neither 
 the one nor the other. It's a thing that 
 might happen any day, a very e very-day 
 kind of affair. However, I'll tell you all 
 about it. 
 
 " In this connection, I hae a thing or 
 two to say in the first instance. You 
 mustnae expect me to be in any way 
 humorsome, for the thing's beyond me. 
 Humor is a gift and it's been denied me. 
 Some folks think humor comes natural 
 and spontaneous like water running over 
 a hill. There never was a greater mistake. 
 Humor is no a thing on the surface, it's a 
 matter of getting at it, it's an affair of 
 accomplishment, and very very difficult. 
 You're all wrong if you expect humor to 
 come easy to a man, it's a thing that wants 
 7
 
 8 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 digging for. Humor has to be dug that's 
 the question in a nutshell humor has to 
 be dug. 
 
 " There's a general idea some one or 
 other has promulgated, that an English- 
 man has a keener idea of wit than a Scotch- 
 man. Never was a greater mistake. In 
 Scotland we'll see many a joke an English- 
 man would never smile at. We're no 
 wanting in the humorous faculty, but the 
 humor must be good to be pleasing. 
 We'll no laugh at silly things or natural 
 things that happen every day. For in- 
 stance we'd have laughed yon time when 
 Mistress Mackie was nearly burned alive 
 a story I'll tell you some day well, maybe 
 I put it over strong to say ' laughed,' but 
 at all events if she'd met her death yon 
 night it would have been ' a question of 
 suppressing a smile ' for the whole of the 
 parish. There was a joke in that or there 
 would have been if they hadnae saved her. 
 Then, again, a matter between Saunders 
 and me over a cow's ghost up in the glen, 
 if it had been anybody else but myself I'd 
 have roared with laughter. But being my 
 own affair I couldnae very well laugh
 
 MacGregor on Humor 9 
 
 though I often wondered how other folks 
 kept their countenance. But to take the 
 other side of it there's one or two writers 
 for the public nowadays publishing stories 
 or sketches as they call them, totally de- 
 void of humor and written about Scotch 
 folk. You'll understand I'm referring to 
 no one special, though I hear you're doing 
 the same. One of yon books came under 
 my notice, it may have been yours, but I 
 think not if I remember, or you'd taken 
 another name to protect yourself I may 
 say I didnae think much of it. It was an 
 English tourister was passing here last 
 summer and gave it me. 
 
 " ' MacGregor,' says he, * read that and 
 tell me what you think of it,' and I 
 read it. 
 
 " ' Weel,' says he, when I gave it back 
 to him, ' what do you think of that ? ' 
 
 " Says I, ' Yery little it's natural 
 enough and the folks are lifelike, though 
 maybe exaggerated. But, man, we ken 
 all that before we read it it contains 
 neither humor nor pathos nor any merit 
 whatever -I think very little of it.' 
 
 " Man, he just laughed in my face at that.
 
 10 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 " ' We call it humor in the South,' says 
 he, laughing. 
 
 " ' Weel,' I answered, * you may call it 
 what you like in the South, but there's no 
 humor there if anybody knows humor, I 
 know it yon's no humor humor has to 
 be dug. 1 
 
 " You want to hear about the bee and 
 the minister. Hoot's, that's naething. It 
 occurred this way : One awful warm 
 Sabbath, in order to get a breath of air 
 through the kirk, I left the door open, 
 and the window at the left side was open 
 too. 
 
 " The service had begun in the ordinary 
 manner, and the minister was doing what 
 they call ' wrestling with the Lord in 
 prayer ' while the congregation was stand- 
 ing about in their pews, some leaning that 
 way and some leaning this way, like a lot 
 of gravestones in the kirkyard. 
 
 " The minister was more than usual 
 animated. 
 
 "Whiles his voice would be very loud 
 and you'd think he had got the better of 
 the Deity, then it would sink low and folks 
 would think, 'Man, the minister's down
 
 MacGregor on Humor 1 1 
 
 again,' then be would up on his feet again, 
 as it were, getting the better of the wrestle, 
 so to speak, with a sudden boom in his 
 voice, and we'd all rejoice with him when 
 whoop! over he'd go again, to the dis- 
 appointment of the whole parish, and we'd 
 draw our breath till he gathered his 
 strength together again. 
 
 " Then he'd up again with his ' Lord, 
 thou knowest,' a very familiar and fash- 
 ionable way our ministers have of getting 
 round the Deity wearing him out, as it 
 were, with a heap of stuff they plainly 
 enough tell him he kens all about already. 
 ' Thou knowest,' he would thunder in a 
 kind of frenzy, and every one of us would 
 have bet on the minister when whoop ! 
 down he would go again to a whisper. 
 
 " Yon prayers of the minister's are ever 
 an anxious time. 
 
 " He aye gets the best of it though in 
 the end, for the man prays on till he is fair 
 convinced in his own mind that he has won 
 the wrestle. 
 
 " On this occasion, in the middle of his 
 wrestling, in comes a bee by the kirk 
 window, no a small bee, but a well-
 
 12 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 feathered plumpie with yellow bands 
 round it, a regular civil well-looking bee, 
 and it sails round the kirk with every- 
 body's eye on it but the minister's. 
 
 " There was ever a general impression 
 amongst the congregation that the min- 
 ister kept one eye open forbye the appear- 
 ance otherwise ' Just a keek in it ' Mistress 
 Mackie had it but however that may be 
 they must have been close shut on this 
 occasion, for he was the only party present 
 who failed to perceive yon bee. 
 
 " After it had been twice round the 
 kirk prospecting, it makes a sudden swoop 
 down at Mistress Mackie, who shares my 
 pew with me. Man, there was a com- 
 motion. 
 
 " Leckie swiped at it with a book and 
 Mistress Mackie nigh fell into the next 
 pew from fear of it, and myself I very 
 nearly got it in my naked palm through 
 clutching at it as it went by me. 
 
 " But away it goes again up to the roof, 
 and round about the kirk as before. 
 
 " The minister was very much engaged 
 at that moment in the stress of his prayer, 
 and he never noticed it.
 
 MacGregor on Humor 13 
 
 "Presently, round comes the bee to the 
 pulpit, and Andy, the lame precentor, laid 
 himself out to capture it. But swoop it 
 went by him and he missed it, to folk's 
 universal disappointment, for although it's 
 a very trivial thing I'm telling you, maybe 
 the excitement in the kirk would have 
 surprised you. 
 
 " When Andy nearly got it and failed in 
 the endeavor it was very exciting ; and 
 when the bee fluttered up thereafter above 
 Andy and above the pulpit and above the 
 minister there wasnae a person in the kirk 
 but was watching it very eagerly. 
 
 " Having got to the minister the bee 
 proceeded very leisurely first it buzzed 
 past his ear and he never seemed to notice 
 it, then it fluttered over his head and he 
 went on with his prayer as usual, then it 
 came down near the point of his nose and 
 there was a kind of shiver of fear passed 
 over the whole of us. 
 
 "You ken yon weeping willow that 
 hangs over the well. Sometimes, in sum- 
 mer, though you never imagine there's a 
 breeze in the atmosphere, yon tree will 
 fall in a sort of tremor as if it expected
 
 14 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 something, just a quiver all over it, very 
 trifling but very intense. It was just like 
 that with the congregation, all of us on 
 the shake so to speak when the bee was 
 over the minister's nose, in case the crea- 
 ture settled on the apex. You see it be- 
 came a momentous question how the min- 
 ister would treat it, and myself, I fair 
 trembled for the very foundations of our 
 religion. Man, I was afraid of it afraid 
 of yon bee if it had settled, and I could 
 feel it in the air that it was expected. 
 
 " However, to my great relief, swish 
 away it goes again twice round the kirk, 
 followed by the glances of half the parish 
 and a prayer or two that it would go 
 peaceably out by the window and then 
 back again it conies to the vicinity of the 
 pulpit where the minister was still very 
 hard at his wrestling. ' Now,' thinks I, 
 ' Andy the precentor will get it.' 
 
 " But it never went near Andy, it went 
 straight over him to the minister. 
 
 "I am no sure if you ken the kind of 
 collar the minister wears, it's a low one 
 and very wide about the neck, perhaps 
 you'll have remarked it ?
 
 MacGregor on Humor 15 
 
 " The man's neck is a thin neck, of only 
 thirteen inches, but his collar is, maybe, 
 eighteen, for various reasons. 
 
 "For instance a wide collar like that 
 doesnae fray and wear out like one con- 
 stantly rubbing against the neck ; it will 
 last double or maybe three times as long. 
 And there's another consideration ; you 
 can wear it longer if you only touch it 
 here and there occasionally instead of 
 being constantly adjacent. 
 
 " The minister is no like us folk, content 
 to wear a collar on the Sabbath and go 
 without it for the rest of the week; the 
 man wears his collar constantly, and by 
 yon contrivance of having a very wide 
 one that he only approaches, so to speak, 
 occasionally, he gets even with us all both 
 on the question of wear and the question 
 of washing, which is a great consideration. 
 
 " I've myself remarked him in the same 
 collar three Sabbaths in succession, with 
 some wet weather during the week into 
 the bargain. 
 
 " Weel, the bee remarked the cavity. 
 
 " ' Gosh ! ' thinks I, ' the bee's disap- 
 peared,' and there wasnae a face in kirk
 
 16 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 that didnae seem to bear the question 
 as I looked round at them, 'MacGregor, 
 where's yon bee ? ' 
 
 "Just at that very moment when we 
 were all on edge with anxiety, a matter 
 of a very extraordinary nature happened, 
 for all of a sudden a bird appeared 
 amongst us, a swallow flying in through 
 the open door and up to beat against the 
 window, thinking doubtless to fly out 
 again. 
 
 "This was too much for the minister. 
 ' MacGregor,' says he, very quiet from the 
 pulpit, speaking down to me and opening 
 his eyes, ' worship under some circum- 
 stances is very difficult I'll suspend my 
 prayer a moment for you to rid the kirk 
 of yon swallow.' 
 
 " ' Minister,' says I for answer, ' if you'll 
 take my advice you'll attend yourself to 
 the bee that's gone down the back of your 
 collar,' and I believe that was the first 
 consciousness he had of it, for at the word 
 about the bee the man gave a leap in the 
 pulpit, the like of which I've rarely seen, 
 and from very sympathy we all jumped 
 with him.
 
 MacGregor on Humor 17 
 
 " Then his face got very red and uncom- 
 fortable, and you could see he was trying 
 to get round to his own back, and then he 
 said very quietly, 
 
 " ' Andy, will you come up to my assist- 
 ance ? ' 
 
 " Out of his box hobbled Andy, and 
 away up to him. 
 
 " Naebody cared very much about the 
 swallow at this juncture. It was all Andy 
 and the bee and the minister. 
 
 " Andy was beside him very quick, and 
 instead of wrestling with his prayer any 
 longer it seemed as if the minister was try- 
 ing a throw or two with the bee or with 
 Andy instead of it. 
 
 "But suddenly the whole affair was 
 over. 
 
 " Andy gives him a stump on the back 
 and the minister thunders out, ' Stop, that 
 will do,' and advances very quiet and stern 
 to the front of the pulpit with a queer kind 
 of stony, resolute look about his features. 
 ' Gosh ! ' thinks I, ' the interruption's 
 roused him we'll have something like a 
 fine sermon to-day.' 
 
 " But the result was very disappointing,
 
 i8 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 for instead of going into the service again, 
 he just stood there looking at us for a mo- 
 ment and then his face became very pa- 
 thetic. 
 
 " ' The congregation will disperse,' says 
 he, ' I'm stung.' 
 
 "No prayer about it nor nothing, al- 
 though the words mind you were very 
 touching, and you could see him looking 
 round the kirk for the sympathy natural 
 to expect from the parish. Man, I was 
 sorry at the termination, but I never saw 
 the minister look so imposing. 
 
 " The kirk was like a funeral when he 
 announced it. 
 
 " * The congregation will disperse,' says 
 he, ' I'm stung.' 
 
 "That's all we ever kenned about it. 
 No desirable details or anything. Just the 
 plain fact. 
 
 "'The congregation will disperse I'm 
 stung.' "
 
 CHAPTER II 
 
 THE SALVATION AKMY 
 
 ONE Sabbath morning 1 there was quite a 
 commotion in the village by reason of the 
 arrival of four strangers, two of them 
 women and two of them men. These peo- 
 ple must have come to the district late 
 upon the Saturday, and it was known after- 
 wards that they were lodging at a farm- 
 house away over beyond the glen, from 
 which place they had walked to the vil- 
 lage. 
 
 Whilst the kirk-bell was tinkling and the 
 parish getting ready to hear the minister, 
 these four strangers placed themselves upon 
 a low rising-ground not far from Mistress 
 MacConnochie's cottage, which is within, 
 maybe, two hundred yards of the kirk ; and 
 whipping out of their pockets each of them 
 a hymn book and a Bible they commenced 
 to hold service in the open air. 
 
 The men were dressed in a kind of uni- 
 form, and the women wore ugly bonnets 
 19
 
 2o The Elder MacGregor 
 
 over their faces, and as the folk came out 
 of the cottages and heard them they would 
 sing the louder, or the man who was read- 
 ing would speak the louder as the parish 
 passed by. 
 
 All this caused a scandal at the kirk, for 
 some would have stayed to listen to them 
 but others hurried on, and those who lagged 
 a moment followed and gathered about the 
 kirk door talking of the strangers and say- 
 ing they came from Glasgow or Edinburgh 
 very likely, and were these Salvation folks 
 they had heard tell of who preached in the 
 streets and emptied many a decent kirk. 
 
 The strangers meantime proceeded with 
 their service, standing up bold before all 
 the people but never gaining a single ad- 
 herent with it all. 
 
 MacGregor the elder was by the plate, 
 as usual, whilst the folk arrived at kirk, 
 when he heard of it partly through the 
 noise of the singing and the preaching 
 reaching his ears from the distance, and 
 partly from inquiry, as the parish came to 
 service. 
 
 The great question was as to what would 
 happen when the minister saw them.
 
 The Salvation Army 21 
 
 " "Weel," said MacGregor, " there were 
 we all wondering by the kirk door and 
 waiting for the minister, when we saw him 
 coming. His face was very still, and he 
 just passed through to the vestry and up 
 and into the pulpit presently, with never a 
 word, but I could see there was a kind of 
 displeasure in the air about him, and his 
 wife and the children looked scared in 
 their pew. Before he began preaching he 
 called me up to him and whispered to 
 close the window, which I did, though it 
 was summer and the heat was very fierce. 
 
 " He preached as usual and nothing hap- 
 pened, except that Mistress Mackie, who 
 shares my pew with me, was more than 
 uncommon troublesome. She ever had a 
 queer kind of clutter in her throat, no a 
 cough exactly, but a kind of glou-glou, like 
 water murmuring, only a bit louder. 
 Wait ! I can describe it better, it was like 
 a turkey glug-glugging. The poor body 
 could never help it ; but it was most dis- 
 tressing, more especially when the sermon 
 was being delivered. Naebody within ten 
 yards of her could get a wink for the glug- 
 glug which aye wakened them. In fact
 
 22 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 there was quite a desertion of our corner 
 of the kirk on account of it. 
 
 " "VVeel, the Sabbath passed by and \ve 
 saw no more of the strangers, but just a 
 fortnight later and at the same time of day 
 and place who should come back to the 
 village but the same four folk, and this 
 time (through the parish having got over 
 the first scare of it on the previous Sunday) 
 there was a general disposition to listen 
 a bit and hear what they had to say. The 
 minister was late that day, and when he 
 came past the place where the Salvation 
 folk were established he found some six or 
 maybe seven of his parishioners lagging by 
 them and listening. 
 
 " He came down to the kirk driving the 
 folk before him like a whirlwind. I have 
 rarely seen the minister so fine. He was 
 fair majestic. 
 
 "We all thought that ended it; but 
 when I got in my pew, being latish through 
 attending to the plate at the door, I no- 
 ticed to my surprise that the kirk appeared 
 more than usual peaceful, in fact there was 
 no Mistress Mackie by the side of me. 
 And I could tell by looking round that
 
 The Salvation Army 23 
 
 there was more than me perceived it, 
 in fact the minister got his eye on me from 
 the pulpit and I could see that he was 
 troubled. However, he commenced the 
 service ; but whether the Salvation folk 
 had drawn nearer that day or the wind 
 being from that direction, there was aye a 
 sound of them came to us, and presently a 
 very extraordinary thing happened. 
 
 "The minister had just given out the 
 Psalm when he stopped and leaned over 
 the pulpit and whispered to lame Andy the 
 precentor, and then he called me up to him 
 and spoke in my ear, and said : 
 
 " ' All we like sheep have gone astray 
 what has become of Mistress Mackie?' 
 and every one in kirk was agog at the un- 
 usual circumstance. 
 
 " Then he says loud to the whole of 
 them, 
 
 " ' My friends, Andy will set you the 
 tune and sing with you my elder and I 
 are going out to seek one of the lambs of 
 my flock who is, maybe, gone astray,' and 
 I kenned what he was at now he was 
 after Mistress Mackie. 
 
 " So down he marches, and what could
 
 24 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 I do but follow him ? And out we went 
 to the strangers, and sure enough there 
 was Mistress Mackie in her Sabbath finery, 
 with the glug-glug in her throat distress- 
 ing the Salvationists, and watching and 
 listening to them very patient. The min- 
 ister turned to me looking awful pale. 
 
 "'There is the beginning, MacGregor,' 
 says he, 'next Sabbath I'll hae an empty 
 kirk I'm going to defeat the enemy forth- 
 with,' and up he steps bold to Mistress 
 Mackie. 
 
 " ' Away to kirk, woman,' says he ; then 
 to the strangers he adds, 
 
 ' What are you at in a decent parish ? ' 
 And says one of the men, ' Salvation.' 
 
 'You're visitors, I perceive,' said the 
 minister. ' You canna refuse my hospital- 
 ity, friends my kirk is open come down 
 and hear me ; ' and at that they whispered 
 together, but he kind of got behind them 
 and fair drove them down to the kirk after 
 Mistress Mackie, whether they liked it or 
 no. 
 
 " Then up he goes to his pulpit, looking 
 triumphant, and there was a commotion in 
 the kirk.
 
 The Salvation Army 25 
 
 " Lame Andy the precentor was singing 
 when we entered, but he stopped at once 
 to give the minister a chance ; and the 
 minister took it. 
 
 " ' My friends,' he says, never even sit- 
 ting down a moment in the pulpit, ' strangers 
 have come to us to hear the gospel and far 
 be it from me to refuse them. We'll take 
 a somewhat unusual course and pass straight 
 to the sermon.' 
 
 " At that every one sat up straight to 
 listen. 
 
 " ' And my text,' thundered the minister, 
 half opening his book and then changing 
 his mind and closing it, ' my text is Salva- 
 tion.' Then he repeated, ' My text is Sal- 
 vation,' and repeated it a third time and 
 waited a moment, and took a drink of 
 water to collect his thoughts. 
 
 " I looked round at the strangers, and I 
 could see they felt it. As for the parish, 
 one and all were fumbling with their Bibles, 
 being anxious to turn up the text, but the 
 minister gave no indication where to find 
 it. 
 
 " You see the trouble was if you found 
 the word ' Salvation ' in one part of the
 
 26 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 Bible, maybe the minister was referring to 
 another; you might be astray upon the 
 wrong text for want of his giving chapter 
 and verse, and the situation was very dif- 
 ficult. There was a rare Summering with 
 the Bibles but no certainty at all. 
 
 "The minister, however, began very 
 quietly, and I watched the folks he was at 
 and waited, knowing he'd soon have them, 
 and man, it was a sermon ! First, he got 
 them very gently into the whirlpool of his 
 discourse, then he throws out a kind of 
 lash of a sentence that twines round them, 
 then he enforces an argument and drives 
 it into them like a nail, and then his ser- 
 mon fair enters into and bewilders every- 
 body. 
 
 " At this period I could see the Salva- 
 tionists wither with his power on them, 
 but the minister was nae nearly done. He 
 was going to get right inside them and turn 
 them inside out, and scorch them after- 
 wards if it took him the whole day to do 
 it. 
 
 I grasped his intention and was proud 
 of him, but Mistress Mackie, with her glug- 
 glug, was awful troublesome.
 
 The Salvation Army 27 
 
 "Weel, he preached at these folks till 
 they were fair terrified ; it was like an 
 awful storm passing over the parish. 
 
 " When he had been at it three hours 
 farmer Grierson would give a pull at his 
 watch-chain, as a kind of hint that folks 
 had dinner to think of. But the minister 
 wasnae to be put by, and he thundered 
 on. Man, we had a grand day. It was 
 as if he were saying to himself, ' I'll dig 
 at you strange folk I'll show you who can 
 preach I'll take the starch out of yon 
 Salvationists with this sermon, and they'll 
 no want another or I'm mistaken.' 
 
 " They were pitiable objects long before 
 the man had done. I'm no very sure but 
 that I slept for an hour or two myself, 
 which was unusual with Mistress Mackie 
 by me. Anyway, it was nigh on four 
 o'clock before he came to his peroration, 
 and that waked me by its very force. 
 The peroration was grand. I forget the 
 most of it, but the Salvation folks were 
 looking limp and weak, and the minister 
 was almost screaming for he was a wee 
 bit hoarse, and no wonder. 
 
 " f You folks,' says he, ' from Glasgow
 
 28 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 or Greenock or Edinburgh or elsewhere, 
 if you seek Salvation gosh! I'll give it 
 you, but we'll no take it from you, we 
 wouldnae deprive you of what you so 
 sorely need.' 
 
 " Thinks I, ' That gets them,' but there 
 was more yet. 
 
 " * You come amongst us,' cries he, ' with 
 bonnets to hide your faces, to steal the 
 lambs of the kirk, and deprive the minister 
 of his congregation and of his living. I'm 
 thinking you'll no do that, for I've more 
 sermons than one to give you ; and when 
 you come again I'll have another ready for 
 you. ' Lost sheep,' cries he. ' Lost lambs 
 and sheep, away, back to Glasgow or 
 Greenock or elsewhere in your shame, 
 and if any of your party likes to visit 
 us again, we'll no withhold Salvation from 
 them we'll administer it freely as we 
 have done at some considerable length 
 to-day.' 
 
 "With that conclusion he drinks an 
 extra glass of water, and then thunders 
 out ' Amen,' and says loud out to Andy 
 the precentor, ' Andy, sing the whole of 
 the 119th Psalm.'
 
 ' It" you seek Salvation gosh! I'll give it you." 
 
 Page 28. 
 
 Tht Eldtr Macgreger.
 
 The Salvation Army 29 
 
 " You ken Andy's voice has some power 
 of endurance, but it's a long psalm is yon." 
 
 "Well," I asked, "did the Salvationists 
 ever come back ? " 
 
 " No, they never came back ! It wasnae 
 so much that they had had enough. It 
 was more a carnal consideration. You see 
 everybody's dinner was spoiled. So we 
 got up a kind of depitation in the village 
 and begged them for the minister's sake 
 and the sake of the parish, never to come 
 again. 
 
 "I believe they do a heap of good in 
 Glasgow those Salvationists, but it's no to 
 be accomplished here."
 
 CHAPTER III 
 
 THE GIPSIES OF THE GLEN 
 
 UP at the far end of the glen, when 
 autumn was tinging the hazelnuts and the 
 leaves upon the trees, and when the black- 
 berries grew ripe amongst the under- 
 growth, there used to be a tribe of gipsies 
 who would fix their camp there for a sea- 
 son for many a year gone by. 
 
 They would arrive with the first turn of 
 the year towards harvesting and leave be- 
 fore the snow lay on the ground, and 
 whither they went or whence they came 
 no one knew and few troubled to inquire 
 Whilst they stayed in the glen they 
 would make use of a cavity in the rocks 
 up yonder, a poor shallow place at best 
 over which they spread a canvas out from 
 the mouth of it to increase its size 
 
 One autumn they brought with them a 
 
 beautiful young gi psy girl whom no Qne 
 
 m the district could remember to have 
 
 seen before. Saunders, the shoemaker, 
 
 30
 
 Gipsies of the Glen 31 
 
 caught a sight of her gathering berries in 
 the wood, and he told lame Andy, the pre- 
 centor, and it was whispered in most 
 mysterious undertones about the parish 
 that the maiden wasn't a gipsy at all. 
 
 What started this report it would have 
 been difficult to say, but the whole parish 
 had it round amongst them as they passed 
 into kirk on Sabbath, and the elders lin- 
 gered by the plate a while longer than 
 they need have done, half expecting to see 
 the " gipsy lady," as they called her, step 
 down the village, dressed in decent gar- 
 ments to attend the kirk. 
 
 All the time the minister was at his 
 prayer it Avas evident the congregation 
 had not quite given up hopes of seeing the 
 gipsy amongst them, and the elders were on 
 the qui vive to rush to the door and open 
 it and find a seat for her if she appeared. 
 
 The minister was holding his con- 
 fidential conversation with the Almighty, 
 and telling him, " O Lord, thou knowest 
 well that we are creatures of clay ; thou 
 knowest we have erred and gone astray," 
 but folk were agog over the mystery of 
 the lady in gipsy clothes up the glen.
 
 32 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 Strange as it may seem, the minister 
 had not only felt the pulse of the con- 
 gregation, so to speak, whilst he was 
 wrestling with the Lord, but, for a reason 
 which he could not quite explain, he too 
 had half looked to see the gipsy, and 
 though his eyes were closed in deep 
 devotion, he was well aware what his 
 elders were at and could get a kind of 
 dim side view of the kirk all the time 
 with the corner of his left eye, a matter 
 which had taken him years of practice to 
 arrive at, to contrive it so that no one no- 
 ticed it. 
 
 However, no gipsy lady came. 
 
 After service the minister was in the 
 vestry having a chat with Gavin Mac- 
 Gregor, the elder. 
 
 "MacGregor," says he, putting on an 
 overcoat which he would wear now and 
 then, even though the weather was very 
 warm for it so as to go one better than 
 his parishioners, so to speak. 
 
 " MacGregor, I hear the gipsies are up 
 the glen again this year." 
 
 " Ay ! " replied the elder, with a twinkle 
 in his eye, but not liking to say outright
 
 Gipsies of the Glen 33 
 
 to the minister that he knew very well 
 what he was at. " Ay ! they've come." 
 
 "And I hear, too," says the minister, 
 after a thoughtful pause, " that there is a 
 young woman, a stranger, with them." 
 
 " Ay ! " was MacGregor's comment, " I 
 heard that too." 
 
 " I wonder," says the minister, " that 
 these kind of folk never come to the kirk 
 when it's so handy." 
 
 " They'll hae a religion of their own 
 most likely," answered the elder, " no 
 that I think much of home-made relig- 
 ions, but they'll hae one very probably ; 
 or maybe it's Sabbath garments they lack 
 for." 
 
 "MacGregor," says the minister very 
 earnestly, " I kind of feel it my duty to 
 step up the glen." 
 
 " She's a bonnie, winsome lassie," says 
 MacGregor, " but it'll no harm, you being 
 a married man." 
 
 "There's no fear of that," says the 
 minister, " but I feel it put on me to get 
 the lassie you name to come to kirk," 
 and with that he out from the vestry to 
 talk with one or two of the folk in the
 
 34 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 graveyard and a little later he was seen 
 going towards the glen. 
 
 No sooner had the minister disappeared 
 than MacGregor, who felt as much in- 
 terested as any one else in the gipsy, and 
 who was filled in addition with a pardon- 
 able curiosity as to how the minister 
 would fare with her, let fall a few details 
 in the kirkyard of the conversation in the 
 vestry. And this so set Mistress Mackie 
 and the postman and one or two others 
 by the ears that nothing would serve the 
 parish but a walk up the glen that Sab- 
 bath after the minister. 
 
 They set out in twos and threes, gather- 
 ing an odd lounger into their numbers 
 now and then as they went by the vil- 
 lage, and growing to be quite a company 
 in this manner ere they approached the 
 glen. 
 
 They could see the minister away ahead 
 of them in his overcoat, but he, for his 
 part, was quite unconscious of his sheep 
 being after him. 
 
 When he was well clear of the cottages 
 he stopped and took off his overcoat, 
 hanging it over his arm in place of wear-
 
 Gipsies of the Glen 35 
 
 ing it, which was wise of him, as the sun 
 was very strong. 
 
 Then, away onwards, he stepped more 
 briskly to the glen. 
 
 Mistress Mackie mentioned, with a glug- 
 glug in her throat, that she wished his 
 wife, who had gone home to attend to 
 the children, could see what he was at ; 
 but this insinuation was received with 
 such a storm of disapproval that she soon 
 fell silent. 
 
 "We're no following the man out of 
 any suspicion of his intentions," said old 
 MacGregor. " No, no ! I'll admit she's a 
 winsome gipsy, a very singular winsome 
 gipsy, but Heaven forbid we should think 
 ill of the minister." 
 
 "He hadnae his book with him, how- 
 ever," said somebody. 
 
 " I noticed that," replied the elder, 
 " but it's no these considerations are tak- 
 ing me for a walk this Sabbath. It's 
 more an honest delight in the fine sun- 
 light tempered with a desire for shade in 
 the glen and a kind of natural interest in 
 the affairs of yon gipsies beyond it." 
 
 When the minister got into the shade of
 
 36 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 the trees he began looking about for the 
 handsome young gipsy lady, but for some 
 time could find no trace of her. 
 
 At last, however, he came upon her 
 sitting down by one of the pools of the 
 water that flows through the glen, with 
 her back towards him, holding a stick 
 with a string at the far end of it, out over 
 the pool, apparently fishing for trout or 
 minnows. 
 
 She was alone, and he stood regarding 
 her for some time before he approached her. 
 
 Through the trees, to the left, he could 
 just catch a glimpse of the gipsy encamp- 
 ment and the smoke rising from it, and in 
 front of him sat the gipsy lady whom folks 
 were talking of. She had earrings in her 
 ears and some berries stuck in her dark 
 hair, and maybe it was these or the bend 
 of her neck, or something else about her 
 that kept the minister watching her for a 
 time before he went to her. 
 
 But he was no man for over-long dally- 
 ing, so changing his coat from the one arm 
 to the other he stepped down to her, mak- 
 ing some noise amongst the undergrowth 
 to attract her attention.
 
 Gipsies of the Glen 37 
 
 "Young woman," said the minister, 
 severely, "this is the Sabbath," and he 
 cast a withering glance at her fishing-rod 
 as he spoke. 
 
 For answer, she looked up at him, quite 
 cool, and gave a merry laugh, which so 
 took him aback when coupled with her 
 beauty, that the minister, married man and 
 all, flushed crimson and shuffled his feet 
 about as though they were too large for 
 him. 
 
 " Do you never come to kirk ? " says he 
 presently. 
 
 " No," said the gipsy, smiling. 
 
 "Are you aware that you possess a 
 soul ? " says the minister. 
 
 " I wasnae very sure about it," says the 
 gipsy. 
 
 " An immortal soul," says the minister, 
 changing his coat to the other arm, " a 
 soul that requires communion and a heap 
 of things you are ignorant of or maybe," 
 he stammers, remembering suddenly that 
 she was reported to be no true gipsy, 
 " maybe you are aware of them but neglect 
 them." 
 
 Just at that minute the gipsy hooked a
 
 38 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 trout of moderate size, and the minister, 
 being ever a very keen fisher and fearing 
 that the trout would be off the hook if he 
 did not help her, was down at her side in 
 less time than it takes to write of, and 
 throwing aside his overcoat, had landed 
 the fish for her, almost before the parish, 
 who were now within sight of them, could 
 make out what he was at. 
 
 Up to this point the parish had been 
 coming after him with no thought of con- 
 cealment whatever, intending, doubtless, to 
 pass by the minister in the most natural 
 way when they happened upon him just as 
 though it were the custom to stroll up the 
 glen after kirk on Sabbath. 
 
 But the sight of him catching a fish for 
 the gipsy acted like a bucket of cold water 
 poured down the back of the parish. 
 
 A feeling that " it wouldnae be fair to 
 the minister to catch him at it " took hold 
 of them, and the parish, out of simple 
 good-heartedness took refuge round about 
 in hiding amongst the trees. 
 
 The good man himself, having caught 
 the trout, felt rather ashamed, and picking 
 up his coat, was about to touch upon the
 
 Gipsies of the Glen 39 
 
 subject of kirk and one's immortal soul 
 again, when Mistress Mackie, who had 
 been hard put to it to restrain that chronic 
 cough of hers, gave a glug-glug behind a 
 tree at some little distance. 
 
 " What's that ? " gasped the minister. 
 Then he burst into a perspiration from the 
 mental agony of it, for he perceived from 
 the edge of a coat-tail appearing here, or a 
 dress there, that he was doubtless under 
 observation, and that the trout had proba- 
 bly been caught in sight of the parish. 
 
 Just as the parish was in hiding out of 
 sympathy for the minister, so after a mo- 
 ment's reflection the minister, thinking 
 they would like but little to be discovered, 
 now decided to ignore their whereabouts. 
 But he wished he was at home at his din- 
 ner instead of talking to the lovely gipsy 
 lady who had been instrumental in leading 
 him to catch a fish upon the Sabbath. 
 
 " Well," said he, to end it as quickly as 
 possible, and hoping the gipsy would not 
 notice the glug-glug of Mistress Maclde ? 
 "I wish to ask you two questions first, 
 Are you a gipsy or a make-believe ? " 
 
 "I'm a gipsy right enough," says she.
 
 40 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 " My father was a gentleman, but I'm a 
 gipsy they call me the White Queen 
 you'll see me at the fairs now and then." 
 
 " God forbid," said the minister, and an 
 approving " glug-glug " came from Mistress 
 Mackie. 
 
 " I'm disappointed," continued the min- 
 ister, " for the parish had it you were mas- 
 querading ; but the kirk's open to you all 
 the same. The second question is Will 
 you come ? You needn't trouble yourself 
 about the plate, just put a shawl round 
 you. I'll tell the elder, Mr. MacGregor, a 
 very worthy man, to look after you." 
 
 From a movement behind a tree to the 
 left of him at this juncture the minister 
 spotted the vicinity of the elder. He was 
 glad he had spoken of his worthiness, it 
 would serve to discount the catching of the 
 fish. 
 
 " Will you come ? " he repeated. 
 
 " No," said the gipsy, with a laugh, and 
 glancing round in a queer fashion at the 
 tree. " No, I'll no come." 
 
 A loud glug-glug from Mistress Mackie 
 made the minister perspire again. 
 
 "My wife," said he very loudly, "my
 
 Gipsies of the Glen 41 
 
 wife and children will be waiting for me 
 at home. I've tried to convert you and 
 I'm sorry if I've failed." 
 
 " Are you married ? " asked the gipsy. 
 
 " I am, and been blessed more than I de- 
 serve in my family ; my quiver is very full." 
 
 Glug-glug from the trees. 
 
 "The fish is your catching," said the 
 gipsy. 
 
 " No, no," said the minister, " 'tis the 
 fish of sin." 
 
 The White Queen burst into such a fit 
 of merriment at this, that the minister got 
 oif as quickly as he could with decency, 
 and was presently footing it down the 
 glen. As for the gipsy, she took the 
 berries from her hair and threw them 
 towards the tree where Mistress Mackie 
 was hiding, and then went away laughing. 
 
 " He conducted himself very well," was 
 the general verdict of the parish. " Forbye 
 the fishing, which was inexcusable, the 
 whole affair was disappointing, she being 
 a gipsy all the time." 
 
 There matters might have rested but 
 that, when service was commencing next 
 Sabbath in the usual manner to the sur-
 
 42 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 prise of everybody in the kirk, in walked 
 the handsome gipsy, and pushing past 
 MacGregor, who hastened to open a pew, 
 made her way straight to where the minis- 
 ter's wife was, and with all the imperti- 
 nence in the world sat down beside her. 
 
 That the congregation was greatly put 
 about was not to be wondered at, for the 
 gipsy had come to kirk dressed just as she 
 went about the woods. 
 
 As for the minister, her arrival in his 
 wife's pew seemed to take the man aback 
 so greatly that he stammered in a very 
 curious fashion and choked over his water 
 in the middle of his sermon, and when the 
 ringing laugh of the handsome gipsy was 
 heard at this, an awed hush fell over the 
 kirk as though folks expected the day of 
 judgment. 
 
 It was the only time the minister had 
 ever been laughed at in his kirk, and so 
 disturbed was he that he broke down 
 altogether and leaned over the pulpit to 
 the precentor, and said, "Andy, sing the 
 Psalm," and there was a general feeling 
 that something had gone wrong with the 
 service.
 
 Gipsies of the Glen 43 
 
 That, however, was not all, for the fol- 
 lowing Sabbath down comes the gipsy 
 again, and this time not alone, but bring- 
 ing with her the whole tribe of them from 
 their tents, about six or seven of them 
 in all, and never a penny for the plate 
 amongst them, but all looking very un- 
 happy over being there except the one fair 
 lassie. 
 
 And when she laughed again at the 
 minister over something he said, there 
 were some in kirk said that if there were 
 more of these gipsies coming, religion 
 would go to the pigs and whistles and the 
 kirk after it. Altogether, it had been a 
 sad mistake asking the gipsies to come 
 at all. 
 
 The bulk of the gipsies had enough at 
 one service, but some of them came again, 
 and would look up and smile at the minis- 
 ter and sometimes laugh, and the rest, and 
 altogether behave very badly, so that the 
 man's sermons were disorganized over it 
 and folk shocked at the gipsies' conduct. 
 
 Folks knew that there was nothing be- 
 tween the gipsy and the minister, but they 
 would say to themselves, " Aye, it's a pity ;
 
 44 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 we ken quite well what's wrong with the 
 minister in the pulpit with yon handsome 
 gipsy under him. He'll be thinking all 
 the time : ' Doubtless the parish imagine 
 I've seen the lass many a time privately, 
 and that her beauty and the rest has got 
 at me to make me uncomfortable.' " 
 
 " Man," old MacGregor used to say, " if 
 these considerations are no enough to dis- 
 turb a minister I don't know what will ! 
 I wouldnae have been in his shoes for a 
 good deal." 
 
 Why the gipsy came to kirk at all no 
 one knew, except for pure devilment, but 
 each time the minister grew more and 
 more uncomfortable through being sensi- 
 tive, though there was never a word in 
 private between them all this time, and 
 folks even said his wife was suspicious, and 
 when it came to that something had to be 
 done. 
 
 The end of it was, according to Mac- 
 Gregor, " that at last, from sheer sympathy 
 with the man and for the stability of the 
 kirk, we got up another depitation, as was 
 the way of the parish in a difficulty. 
 Andy, the precentor, headed it, and we
 
 Gipsies of the Glen 45 
 
 said nothing to the minister. But one 
 Thursday we went up in force to the glen, 
 and Andy rapped on the gipsies' tent and 
 askit to see the party we had once thought 
 was better than the rest of them, but who 
 had proved to be worse. And when she 
 came out Andy expressed the general de- 
 sire of the congregation that for the future 
 she would do her worshiping elsewhere. 
 Man, she made a very strange answer, a 
 queer proposition. 
 
 " ' I'm called the White Queen,' says 
 she, 'and I've been in the habit of play- 
 acting. Now I'll make a bargain there'll 
 be only threepence charge, with sixpence 
 for the best seats but we're putting up a 
 tent and I'm giving a performance. I'll 
 avoid the kirk for the future on the con- 
 dition that you'll all come.' 
 
 " Man, we all shivered at the idea, but 
 she was firm. And gradual it came round 
 about us that here was a chance of seeing 
 a theatrical performance with no damage 
 to our souls over it, for it was to save the 
 kirk and the minister. 
 
 " Somebody promulgated that view of it 
 amongst us.
 
 46 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 " Weel, it ended as she wished. 
 
 " We freed the kirk of the she-devil and 
 she'd a full tent. The performance was on 
 a Wednesday night, latish, and the minis- 
 ter never heard tell of it at all. It was a 
 most enjoyable evening on the whole, and 
 the lassie proved real clever ; but what we 
 went into yon house of sin for, wasnae, of 
 course, the enjoyment. 
 
 " Still, it was very, very good." 
 
 MacGregor has told me that he believes 
 the fair gipsy is now play-acting some- 
 where beyond the border. The gipsies 
 have often returned, but she is never with 
 them now. 
 
 But some of the folks even go so far as 
 to say they would not mind if she did 
 come back with her troublesome ways and 
 make another bargain with them, though 
 the opinion is universal to this day that 
 sixpence was an extravagant charge for 
 the best seats. 
 
 " Threepence was mair like it," was 
 MacGregor's comment, " but one couldnae 
 sit with everybody else for the sake of a
 
 Gipsies of the Glen 47 
 
 threepenny bit still, it was dear. Folks, 
 you see, considered they were giving the 
 money to the kirk in going to yon enter- 
 tainment, and the kirk plate was very dry 
 and empty for a Sabbath or t\vo after it. 
 You couldnae reasonably expect a man to 
 give twice ! "
 
 CHAPTER IY 
 
 MISTRESS MACKIE AND THE POWDERS 
 
 ONE very sweet Spring, when the leaves 
 were fresh and young upon the trees, and 
 the birds had just begun to sing to one 
 another in the early morning, Mistress 
 Mackie caught a nasty chill through 
 gossiping over late at a neighbor's cottage, 
 and going home head-bare after it through 
 a shower of rain. 
 
 Mistress Mackie was at that time post- 
 mistress of the village, having, so to speak, 
 acquired the shop and the post-office to- 
 gether, about a year previously on the 
 death of her cousin, who had held them 
 before her. 
 
 When she had first taken up the post- 
 office, through being the nearest relative 
 of the deceased, folks had shaken their 
 heads, and there were one or two of them 
 went so far as to say she was ill-fitted to 
 take charge of their correspondence, and 
 it is true that she was fair bewildered just 
 4 8
 
 Mistress Mackie 49 
 
 at starting as to what to do with letters 
 and the rest of it, for the whole thing was 
 new to her. 
 
 The boy Thomas, however, who had 
 been reared to the bringing over of tele- 
 grams from a distance, came to live with 
 her for a week or two, she being his aunt 
 by blood, and the postman helped her, so 
 that Mistress Mackie fell into her new 
 duties easily enough after the first few 
 weeks of it, and would sell stamps and the 
 rest with a grand air about her just as 
 though she had been accustomed to it all 
 her life. 
 
 As the postmistress was ever a woman 
 of some importance, it now became a 
 matter of public interest when illness 
 seized her. 
 
 It was not so much a question of delays 
 of correspondence, for in these days no 
 great regularity was expected from Mistress 
 Mackie or the post-office either, but it be- 
 came an anxious problem as to whether 
 what she had about her was catching, and 
 would be likely to get about the parish 
 through the letters having passed through 
 Mistress Mackie's hands.
 
 50 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 When folks heard she was in bed with 
 an illness to which no name had been put, 
 and that the minister had been to see her, 
 it was with a grave face they would meet 
 the postman and a wide berth they would 
 give him in the road ; and MacGregor, the 
 kirk elder, who had the misfortune to 
 receive several letters a week, was known 
 to have directed the postman somewhat 
 sternly to lay the letters on the window- 
 sill to evaporate a bit before he touched 
 them. 
 
 "When this had gone on for a little, much 
 to every one's discomfort, not to mention 
 the feelings of the old postman it got 
 about one day that Mistress Mackie was 
 very decidedly worse, and the desire 
 became general that the doctor, who 
 lived a few miles away, should be told to 
 drive over in his dog-cart and report 
 whether she should have anything to do 
 with folks' correspondence or give it the 
 go-by. 
 
 It was the topic of discussion at the kirk 
 door on Sabbath, and MacGregor took 
 upon himself as the result of it to walk 
 over to the doctor's after the kirk had
 
 Mistress Mackie 51 
 
 scaled and leave word for him to drive in 
 to see Mistress Mackie. 
 
 Now if there was one person whom 
 Mistress Mackie liked less than another it 
 was the doctor ; she had, indeed, a positive 
 aversion to the man, and would rather 
 have died with nobody attending her than 
 live with the doctor by her. 
 
 She and the doctor had fallen foul of one 
 another on two occasions, and in such 
 fashion that Mistress Mackie had never 
 forgotten. 
 
 The first of these was on that dreadful 
 Sabbath morning when, for once in a way 
 he had come in to hear the minister, and 
 happening to be just behind Mistress 
 Mackie as they passed the plate, had 
 trodden upon the hem of her dress so 
 sharply and unfortunately that there was 
 a wrench and a tear, and the whole fabric 
 gave way at the waist and left her shamed 
 in a second before the elders. 
 
 Mistress Mackie was long before she for- 
 gave the doctor for this mishap. 
 
 When it was made up at last between 
 them, the doctor fell into another mistake 
 by attempting to cure her of that nervous
 
 52 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 cough or glug-glug in her throat which she 
 was ever afflicted with and which was 
 wont to disturb the congregation so much 
 during the minister's sermon. 
 
 He tried burning the good woman's 
 throat, and then he drugged her and gave 
 her medicines and jujubes, and did some- 
 thing to the back of her tongue with an 
 instrument which she liked but little, and 
 notwithstanding this, the glug-glug and 
 the glou-glou went on as constant as ever ; 
 in fact the doctor was credited with hav- 
 ing made it worse instead of better, and 
 altogether Mistress Mackie felt that she 
 had good reason to feel aggrieved when 
 the man told her one day that she had 
 beaten science and might be pronounced 
 incurable. 
 
 The minister was reading a Psalm to the 
 sick postmistress on the Sabbath afternoon 
 by way of cheering her, since she could 
 not come to the kirk, when the doctor's 
 rap-tap sounded on the outer door of the 
 shop. And then, without further warning 
 (the shop door being left on the hinge to 
 admit folks without troubling Mistress 
 Mackie to leave her bed), in marches the
 
 Mistress Mackie 53 
 
 man of science into the back room, with 
 a cheery " How do you do, Mistress 
 Mackie ? " on his lips. 
 
 The minister closed his book and shook 
 hands with the doctor, bidding him sit 
 down, as if the place belonged to him, and 
 saying that he thought the invalid was in 
 a fair way though still " much about it," 
 by which he meant that she was neither 
 improving nor the reverse. 
 
 Then he and the doctor fell into a long 
 argument as to a case of typhoid fever 
 last year, when the doctor had disagreed 
 with the minister over some point or an- 
 other, and the minister had got the best of 
 it at the time because the child with the 
 fever died. 
 
 It was like a bet they had made between 
 them, the minister saying, " You're wrong, 
 doctor," and the doctor saying, " No, min- 
 ister, you'll see I'm right," and the minister 
 had won. 
 
 They were both prepared, so it seemed, 
 for another bet on the subject of Mistress 
 Mackie. 
 
 As for that good lady she lay still and 
 stared speechlessly at the doctor from the
 
 54 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 moment of his entry, but one could tell 
 she was very angry from the twitch of her 
 hand on the counterpane, and from the 
 glug-glug in her throat going very quickly 
 all the time the minister was framing his 
 discussion with the doctor. 
 
 There was nothing in the world the pair 
 of them liked better than an argument 
 when they met by a sick-bed, it gave life 
 and zest to the case, for without specula- 
 tion, an illness was but a poor affair. 
 
 When they had at last got matters to a 
 question of treatment, the doctor saying, 
 " If Mistress Mackie has the symptoms 
 you describe then I am going to do so and 
 so," and the minister replying, " I think 
 you should consider some other treatment," 
 and the doctor answering, " You can trust 
 me to know what is best," and the minister 
 lifting his hands resignedly and replying, 
 " Well, I hope she'll live," meaning all the 
 time that he'd have lost the argument if 
 she did, the doctor, for the first time, drew 
 his chair over to the bedside to have some 
 sort of closer look at Mistress Mackie. 
 
 "Maybe," says he to the minister, 
 " maybe, the symptoms you've described
 
 Mistress Mackie 55 
 
 are all wrong in which case," he adds, 
 "there's no argument. Mistress Mackie, 
 let me see your tongue." 
 
 Mistress Mackie put out a tongue that 
 was withered both with age and long gos- 
 siping, and the doctor looked at it very 
 closely. Then he took her wrist and held 
 it and counted, watch in hand, and lost 
 count and began over again, and then 
 says he, 
 
 " Ay, you're ill, Mistress Mackie, there's 
 no question but you're ill. I'll send you 
 a powder which you'll take as directed. 
 And for the meantime," he adds, getting 
 in a dig at the minister, "you'll avoid 
 draughty places, like the kirk and so on, 
 for a time. I'll wish you good-day. By 
 the way," says he very earnestly, a sudden 
 thought striking him," are there any let- 
 ters for me, accumulated through your 
 illness?" 
 
 " Yes," says Mistress Mackie, " twa in 
 the shop and a post card ; I thought of 
 sending them out yesterday." 
 
 " Bless me," said the doctor, " this will 
 never do at all we'll have to get you on 
 your feet again very quickly," and out he
 
 56 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 went to the shop to search for his letters, 
 leaving the minister to recommence the 
 Psalm. 
 
 Presently they heard him call, " I've 
 found the letters, Mistress Mackie don't 
 forget to take the powder," and then they 
 heard the shop door slam. 
 
 "Mistress Mackie," said the minister 
 very earnestly, "I studied medicine and 
 failed in it before I took up the kirk, and 
 so I know all about it. Take my advice, 
 woman. He's a careless, free and easy 
 physician forbye all his cleverness. Take 
 my advice, give these powders of his the 
 go-by." 
 
 " Glug-glug," replied Mistress Mackie, 
 crumpling the counterpane fiercely in her 
 left hand, " do you think I'd owe my life 
 to the powders of yon man ? No likely. 
 I'd sooner die." 
 
 " I'm glad you feel that," said the min- 
 ister rising and closing his book, " if you 
 should pass away after all, the man won't 
 have murder on his soul." 
 
 Mistress Mackie got worse and worse.
 
 Mistress Mackie 57 
 
 The minister visited her maybe three times 
 a day, and the letters were in a hopeless 
 state, the postman doing his best, but 
 never getting right abreast of them. 
 
 The doctor would drive over now and 
 then and leave fresh powders, but they did 
 Mistress Mackie no good, and the minister 
 and MacGregor had already been round 
 the kirkyard to choose a bit of grass be- 
 neath which the good woman might 
 presently repose. 
 
 The doctor felt as she grew worse that 
 the minister had won the day over the 
 question of his treatment, but for reputa- 
 tion and the sake of argument he could 
 only hope that Mistress Mackie would 
 weather through after all, in spite of the 
 powders which he now feared were harm- 
 ing her rather than because of them. 
 
 As for the minister, he began to feel as 
 if there was a sin upon his soul, for he 
 knew of a corner in the cupboard where 
 all the doctor's powders lay, and one day 
 after he had been down having another 
 look at Mistress Mackie's grave, he had a 
 mighty struggle with himself in the kirk- 
 yard, and then up he steps with a face set
 
 58 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 with resolution, and straight into Mistress 
 Mackie's room and says he, very stern, 
 
 " Mistress Mackie just try one of yon 
 powders if it kills you it doesnae matter, 
 for you're to die any way I would flee 
 to the doctor if I were you, without say- 
 ing anything, as a last resort." 
 
 From that hour Mistress Mackie bettered 
 and went on bettering, and the minister 
 ceased going down to contemplate her 
 grave, and folks' correspondence got 
 straighter, and the doctor stopped coming 
 altogether, and the postman was no longer 
 avoided in the parish as though he were a 
 leper. 
 
 And at the last one Sabbath there was 
 Mistress Mackie in kirk in all her finery, 
 glug-glugging in her throat and disturbing 
 the minister and MacGregor and the con- 
 gregation as usual, and looking as well as 
 ever. 
 
 The minister preached a very short and 
 sad sermon that day, and folks said he 
 was kind of humiliated in the pulpit and 
 not like himself at all as if he had had a 
 sore disappointment of some kind, or lost 
 faith in himself over something.
 
 Mistress Mackie 59 
 
 They had never known him. so humble 
 or weak and flabby in his discourse. 
 
 After service he sent to summon Mis- 
 tress Mackie to the vestry, and when she 
 came to him he said : 
 
 " Did you return the balance of those 
 powders to the doctor ? " 
 
 " No," says she with a glug-glug, " I 
 never thought of it." 
 
 " I would do so," said the minister, " it's 
 never well for a man to be puffed up and 
 set up too high in pride I would return 
 him those powders, for I'm not so very 
 certain that it was the powders that cured 
 you after all. I've been thinking it was 
 very likely the avoidance of them in the 
 earlier stages that effected the cure." 
 
 So when the minister and the doctor 
 next met neither of them quite knew who 
 had the best of it, for the doctor thought 
 Mistress Mackie had saved her life by 
 ceasing to take the powders and the min- 
 ister knew it had been somewhat other- 
 wise, since it was the powders which had 
 cured her after all. 
 
 However, the doctor called on Mistress 
 Mackie and instructed her somewhat ear-
 
 60 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 nestly to say nothing to the minister on the 
 subject, and some one else was buried in 
 the grave the minister had chosen for Mis- 
 tress Mackie, and there the whole matter 
 lay.
 
 CHAPTER V 
 
 MACGKEGOK ATTENDS A FIRE 
 
 IN the winter time, one night, when it 
 was snowing heavily, the village was 
 startled by a report that there was a fire 
 up at Farmer Grierson's. 
 
 A good number of the folks were in bed 
 at the time, but as a thing of this kind 
 did not occur every day, the luck of the 
 village being nothing great in the way 
 of accidents and disasters, everybody made 
 haste to shuffle on their clothes again 
 in order to see what was doing up the 
 hill. 
 
 There was a very satisfactory red glow 
 in the sky, and many were the conjectures 
 amongst the folk as they set out in small 
 groups over the snow. 
 
 Mistress Mackie, the postmistress, ven- 
 tured to express a hope that the fire might 
 not be over when they got there, not that 
 she wished any ill to any one, but more in 
 the way of asking Providence to keep the 
 61
 
 62 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 best of it till she happened to be there to 
 see it. 
 
 Lame Andy was walking with Mistress 
 Mackie at the time, and has told me that 
 even at this early stage of it the excite- 
 ment of the fire had entered into and pos- 
 sessed her. 
 
 Saunders, the shoemaker, was of opinion 
 that it was nothing but a haystack, but in 
 his heart the good man was hoping it was 
 the house itself that was ablaze. 
 
 MacGregor, the elder, kept sighing and 
 totting up what it might cost the farmer 
 so much if it were one haystack, so much 
 if were two haystacks, and so much more 
 if it were the house. 
 
 Altogether there were a great number 
 of hopes and fears about it, and many a 
 lamentation to the effect that the snow 
 might leave off a bit with decency to give 
 folks and the fire a chance. 
 
 "When Mistress Mackie and lame Andy 
 got up to the farm at length there were a 
 number there before them, some of them 
 running to and fro and doing nothing with 
 it all, and others with buckets of water and 
 half melted snow from the well, for the
 
 Attends a Fire 63 
 
 frost not being severe up to this point of 
 the winter, there was very little ice to pre- 
 vent folks getting at the water. 
 
 " Sure enough," says Mistress Mackie, 
 in great excitement, " sure enough it's the 
 house no a paltry haystack this time. If 
 I'm no mistaken this will be a great night 
 for us all. Farmer Grierson's a ruined 
 man ! " and at that her chronic throat 
 affliction took hold of her till they got 
 nearer. 
 
 The farmhouse was a building of two 
 stories, with an attic window in the roof 
 belonging to a room where a bed was kept 
 but which was seldom in use ; but it 
 chanced, on this particular occasion, that 
 the farmer's daughter, Effie "Williamson, 
 who was well married in England, hap- 
 pened to have come home for a week or 
 two with her second-born child, a little 
 boy she called George, a fine little fellow 
 between three and four years of age. 
 Young George had been put to sleep in the 
 attic-room. 
 
 The other inmates of the farm were 
 Effie, the farmer himself, and an old 
 woman whom he kept to do the house and
 
 64 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 cook for him. They had all retired to 
 bed, it seems, very early. 
 
 The farmer was first awakened by the 
 barking of his dog in the yard, and directly 
 his senses came to him, his nostrils became 
 conscious of smoke about the place. Sure 
 enough the house was then blazing, and 
 the fire had evidently been at it for some 
 time. 
 
 Being an old house with a lot of wood 
 about it, he knew the danger at once, and 
 was out in a moment and away to his 
 daughter's room to waken her, and he had 
 the old woman out of her bed also, and 
 then up for the child and down to join the 
 others to fight their way out through the 
 flames, with never a thought of his belong- 
 ings till all their lives were saved. 
 
 Directly they were all clear of the dwell- 
 ing and standing footbare and shivering in 
 the snow, he handed the child to some one 
 or other, not noticing who received it, and 
 calling to his daughter that she had better 
 get over to Jameson's cottage and get 
 some clothes about her, back went the 
 farmer into the flames. He came out again 
 spluttering through the smoke, bare to the
 
 Attends a Fire 65 
 
 waist, but with his trousers on his legs, and 
 a pair of unlaced shoes on his feet, and 
 carrying a wooden box which doubtless 
 held his money and his papers, judging by 
 his anxiety to secure it. 
 
 Thereafter, the village coming up in 
 force to the rescue, there was a great 
 fight as to who should have what remained 
 of the house whether the men were to 
 get it or the flames. 
 
 In the middle of this arrives lame Andy, 
 the precentor, with Mistress Mackie. And 
 little did any of them know of the brave 
 deed she was about to do that night ! 
 
 Lame Andy lost sight of her for awhile, 
 the snow being so thick in falling and he 
 busy at the well over the buckets of water, 
 but presently he saw her talking with 
 Effie, who had now returned from Jame- 
 son's cottage and who was anxiously in- 
 quiring for the child George, whom she 
 knew to have been saved. It seems that 
 in the scurry of it, through being in her 
 night-dress and her feet bare, she had 
 thought that the old woman had received 
 the child from the farmer, and that the 
 woman was following her, carrying George.
 
 66 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 So she had hurried away to Jameson's 
 cottage in the hope that no one might 
 see her in her night-dress. She had got 
 some idea, it seems (through living in 
 England) that this might have harmed 
 her. 
 
 However, when the old woman, who 
 was slower of foot, came to the cottage, 
 too, she had no child with her. And this 
 was the cause of the present commotion 
 and the questions Effie was now address- 
 ing to Mistress Mackie. 
 
 Unfortunately enough, Mistress Mackie 
 got the wrong end of the stick, thinking 
 from the mother's anxiety that the child 
 was still in the house in the very thick of 
 the flames, whereupon she fell very ex- 
 cited and could scarcely speak for the 
 glug-glug of her chronic cough in her 
 throat. 
 
 "Where," she managed to utter, 
 "where, glug-glug, did the, glug-glug, 
 bairn sleep ? " 
 
 " In the attic," replied Effie. 
 
 " You've done an ill thing, glug-glug, 
 and an unmotherly," says Mistress Mackie. 
 "Gosh! who would have thought it of
 
 Attends a Fire 67 
 
 Effie of Effie, glug-glug, "Williamson, 
 whom I used to feed with sweeties when 
 she was a bairn, glug-glug, glug-glug." 
 
 MacGregor tells me that, snow and all 
 falling between him and her, Mistress 
 Mackie's indignation was a thing beautiful 
 to behold. Effie, however, had passed on 
 elsewhere to ask about the child, and be- 
 fore any one could think what she was at, 
 Mistress Mackie was making straight for 
 the flames, and there and then before 
 them all, seen clearly by the light cast by 
 the fire, in through the smoke she goes 
 through the doorway of the house and dis- 
 appears. 
 
 There was hardly a person present who 
 was not dumbfounded, and then a shout 
 went up, " Mistress Mackie's gone in the 
 house come back save her." Andy was 
 the only one who perceived the truth and 
 knew of the mistake she made. 
 
 " She thinks the child's in there Mis- 
 tress Mackie, you are mistaken ! " he 
 yelled, leaping after her as well as his 
 lame leg would allow, but it was too late, 
 Mistress Mackie had disappeared. 
 
 Then a great hush fell on the crowd
 
 68 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 from sheer astonishment, and before any 
 one could think what was to be done, the 
 farmer leaped from among them and dis- 
 appeared into the house after her. 
 
 At that very moment there was a crash 
 indoors and some one called out, " The 
 stair is down," and another said, "It's 
 given way under her through being made 
 of wood," and the farmer rushed out 
 again, choking and staggering and crying 
 to them all, " She has got up the stairs, 
 but they gave way under me when I 
 would have followed her Mistress 
 
 Mackie's done for What's to happen 
 
 now ? " 
 
 " Poor Mistress Mackie," said Saunders, 
 " so that's the end of you, you deserved a 
 better fate ! " 
 
 " She was ever a bit slow in the post- 
 office," said another, " but I'm no saying 
 her successor will be better." 
 
 "She bought ground in the kirkyard 
 for her grave, too," said a third, "just 
 after her recent illness it's a pity she'll 
 never occupy it." 
 
 "Lord, Lord," says a fourth, "she was 
 a silly dandery to gang into the flames
 
 Attends a Fire 69 
 
 no the kind of thing one expected of her 
 at all." 
 
 The farmer, meantime, and a few of the 
 others, were busy getting a ladder in the 
 hopes of still saving her. 
 
 But the majority of the folks were re- 
 signed, and the opinion was universal that 
 they would never see Mistress Mackie more. 
 
 "I wonder who'll have the post-office 
 now ? " was old MacGregor, the elder's, 
 comment. 
 
 And some one else was heard to say 
 very loudly, " The joke is that the child 
 isnae in the house at all, for they've found 
 him." 
 
 " I'll be able to rest in the kirk now," 
 says MacGregor, "yon glug-glug was 
 awful disturbing. But, man, I'd do with 
 it gladly to hae her back after all not," 
 he added, " not but it will be more peace- 
 ful, you ken." 
 
 Some of the women, however, were less 
 philosophic, and loud were the lamenta- 
 tions amongst them. 
 
 It had, meantime, become very evident 
 that the house would be thoroughly gutted 
 by the flames, and those who managed to
 
 yo The Elder MacGregor 
 
 conquer their surprise and grief over Mis- 
 tress Mackie were now set to saving the 
 stacks in the yard from the falling sparks 
 that came down in great numbers along 
 with the snow. 
 
 The farmer, however (with lame Andy 
 and another) had got the ladder against 
 the wall, and just as he was about to 
 mount it what should appear at the attic 
 window above him but the face of the 
 despaired-of Mistress Mackie. 
 
 At that a great shout arose, and the 
 farmer went up the ladder very quick. 
 
 But all hopes of getting Mistress Mackie 
 down in this fashion were suddenly 
 damped, for it seemed that though the 
 window was of a fair size, Mistress Mackie 
 was yet larger, and the farmer, though he 
 got on the roof beside her, was quite un- 
 able to solve the problem of putting a 
 greater into a less. 
 
 "The bairn's gone," screamed Mistress 
 Mackie, from the window. "Effie, you, 
 glug-glug, eediot, you fair misled me. My 
 hairs be on your head for this. The stair- 
 case is down and the whole, glug-glug, 
 place on fire."
 
 Attends a Fire 71 
 
 Lame Andy went up the ladder very 
 quickly at this point, and folks saw he 
 was carrying an axe or a hammer, and 
 how he got up the ladder with his lame 
 leg, so rapidly, is a marvel in the village 
 to this day. 
 
 " Give it to me," screamed the farmer. 
 
 "Take your head in, Mistress Mackie. 
 There's no a moment to save you." 
 
 And then such a hammering and hack- 
 ing at rotting wood and boards began over 
 and amongst the flames that the whole 
 parish stood aghast at it. 
 
 You could catch an occasional word such 
 as, " The splinters will blind her." " Man, 
 she deserves them all if she gets her life." 
 " She'll be very warm the now in the lower 
 parts of her." "Man, the roof's in." 
 " Man, the farmer's falling." " Andy, can 
 you no come down ? " " Mistress Mackie, 
 can you no help them ?" And then every- 
 body began screaming and yelling direc- 
 tions, and Andy and the farmer and Mis- 
 tress Mackie and the window were half 
 lost to sight through smoke. 
 
 Then they saw the farmer dragging the 
 woman through the window, whilst lame
 
 72 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 Andy slid down the ladder like lightning, 
 " Mair of a fall than a slide," it has been 
 described to me, and the farmer, with Mis- 
 tress Mackie over his shoulder like a bag 
 of potatoes, for she had fainted from 
 smoke and the rest by this time, got on the 
 ladder and came down towards them. 
 
 And such a scream of delight went up, 
 you would have said Mistress Mackie was 
 the most popular party in the parish. 
 
 Down they came, and as they came the 
 roof burst out in flames, and in some way 
 the ladder slipped and Mistress Mackie and 
 the farmer fell with it, and folks say to this 
 day that they'd have had a poor time then 
 but for the merciful thickness of the half 
 melted snow. 
 
 The folks were on them to assist them in 
 a moment and the farmer was on his feet 
 directly, but they carried Mistress Mackie 
 to a distance and laid her down and threw 
 icy water on her face and all, and she 
 never made a sign. 
 
 Then a hushed whisper went round that 
 she was dead after all, and some one said 
 it was better dying here than in the burn- 
 ing house, for she'd have a decent burial,
 
 Attends a Fire 73 
 
 and the fire was forgotten for a little be- 
 cause of her. But all of a sudden, when 
 all seemed over, there was a gentle glug- 
 glug, and then another and another, and 
 old MacGregor turned to Andy and said : 
 
 " She's no dead after all. If I'm no 
 mistaken yon distressful glug-glug is to 
 worry me still in kirk for many a long 
 day. Forbye the joke of it," says Mac- 
 Gregor, "going in to save a child that 
 wasnae there at all, it would have been a 
 very noble death for Mistress Mackie ; 
 they could easy have replaced her at the 
 post-office. I think in the situation she 
 might with decency, very well have passed 
 away." 
 
 But the greatest of all disappointments 
 connected with the fire passed over the vil- 
 lage about a week afterwards, after Farmer 
 Grierson and his affairs and the ruin that 
 had fallen upon him had been the subject 
 of conversation and sympathy for days. 
 
 Saunders came stumbling into the kirk- 
 yard, looking very pale, on Sabbath, before 
 kirk, and said to MacGregor who, as usual, 
 was by the plate : 
 
 " Man, what do you think ? The farmer
 
 74 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 is never ruined after all. It seems his 
 daughter Effie induced the man to insure 
 the place with some company in the South 
 her husband's connected with. The fire 
 will make no difference to him at all." 
 
 "You're no saying that" gasped the 
 astonished MacGregor. " I wonder what 
 a fire's for in these circumstances comes 
 and goes and leaves a man just where he 
 was before. It's no just or right. It's 
 disappointing, very. All the trouble for 
 nothing ! This beats Mistress Mackie's 
 living through her adventure. I'm for the 
 law of natural change in folks' circum- 
 stances myself, and a death and done with 
 it when it threatens. The farmer and 
 Mistress Mackie have come well out of it 
 after all, but I'm thinking the general im- 
 pression of the parish will be that we're 
 none of the rest of us over well pleased."
 
 "'You're no saying that,' gasped MacGregor." 
 
 Page 
 
 Tht Elder MacGrego
 
 CHAPTER VI 
 
 JIMMY OF THE HILLS 
 
 IN many a Scottish village you will find 
 a poor half-witted creature who is allowed 
 to go about free amongst the folk and of 
 whom even the children are not afraid. 
 He may be called " daft "Willy," or some 
 such name and you may know him in a 
 moment if you meet him, for he will walk 
 about the road strangely, or call out in a 
 foolish fashion to the children who are 
 often after him, or there will be some 
 other token by which there is no mistaking 
 him. 
 
 Sometimes you will see him working in 
 the fields at harvest time, doing as much 
 perhaps, as any other, but his work is never 
 esteemed like other men's, let him toil at it 
 as he may. 
 
 At other times you may happen upon 
 him breaking stones by the road or carry- 
 ing the postman's bag for him, if it is 
 heavy, or running an errand for the min- 
 75
 
 76 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 ister ; always working at odd sort of jobs 
 and ever willing to be at the beck and call 
 of any one who wants him ; but queer in 
 his ways over the whole of it, with a 
 " slate loose," as folks have it, and three 
 parts daft all the time. 
 
 I used to wonder if Jimmy of the Hills, 
 who was the daft fellow of yonder village, 
 whether Jimmy with all his lack of wits 
 was not a happier man than many another, 
 for he was always smiling or laughing over 
 something and chuckling to himself over 
 jokes or jests which no one could get out 
 of him. He had a twist in his neck, poor 
 chap, which set his face over his left 
 shoulder, so to speak, and his limbs hung 
 loosely and seemed to be long for his body, 
 but the lad's features were not unpleasant 
 to look upon, rather the contrary, since he 
 was always merry. 
 
 It was from the eyes chiefly you could 
 tell that there was something wanting, 
 that the lad's laughter had perhaps no 
 true cause for its existence, and that 
 Jimmy of the Hills was one of those folk 
 to pity and to pity only. Never to be 
 blamed or struck at for any misdeeds of
 
 Jimmy of the Hills 77 
 
 his, let Jimmy of the Hills do what he 
 may. 
 
 Jimmy of the Hills lived with an old 
 laborer who was in some way distantly 
 related to the lad. Jimmy's parents were 
 long dead, and how the term " of the 
 hills " first fixed itself upon him no one 
 in the village quite remembers, though 
 they say that often in the summer time 
 from his early youth upwards, Jimmy 
 would wander away some evening to dis- 
 appear for days, and that you might 
 chance upon him at such seasons wander- 
 ing about in solitude, hour by hour, crying 
 out, " Cooee ! cooee ! cooee ! " to the stray 
 sea-gulls and plovers that flew over the 
 heather away up on the moors yonder, a 
 mile or so away. 
 
 Probably, this was how he got the 
 name. 
 
 Shortly after the illness of the village 
 postmistress, Mistress Mackie, when folks' 
 letters had got straight again and when 
 she had found time, as she put it, " to turn 
 about," Mistress Mackie took a wonderful 
 fancy for possessing a feather bed, and it 
 got about the district that if you had any
 
 78 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 feathers to spare through killing a hen 
 or otherwise, that Mistress Mackie wanted 
 them. 
 
 Maybe, she had found her couch irk- 
 some to lie upon during her illness, for 
 nothing but a feather bed would now 
 serve Mistress Mackie. 
 
 From motives of economy she decided 
 to collect the feathers herself, and when 
 she had sufficient of them her idea was to 
 send them to Glasgow or somewhere to 
 have them properly and inexpensively 
 turned into a feather bed. 
 
 Jirnmy of the Hills proved most useful 
 to Mistress Mackie at this period. 
 
 Smiling and chuckling to himself all the 
 time as if there was a huge joke in the 
 affair, where there was none at all, he 
 would go hunting all over the place for 
 feathers for Mistress Mackie. I have heard 
 that he was even caught plucking the tail 
 out of a live fowl up at Farmer Grierson's, 
 so great was Jimmy's ardor. 
 
 When he procured any feathers, whether 
 through gift or theft, Jimmy would coine 
 proudly into the post-office and the post- 
 mistress would put the feathers in an empty
 
 Jimmy of the Hills 79 
 
 barrel which she kept for the purpose, and 
 sometimes rewarded him with a sweetie or 
 two for his trouble. 
 
 Being thus refreshed Jimmy would set 
 out again. 
 
 As time went by it began to be said that 
 there were a great many more feathers 
 than letters in the post-office, and that the 
 fluff of them about the shop must be as 
 disagreeable to Mistress Mackie as it was 
 to her customers. But though the truth 
 of this was very obvious, Mistress Mackie, 
 assisted by Jimmy of the Hills, continued 
 filling boxes and barrels in as busy a fashion 
 as the hens about the district would allow. 
 
 It is questionable if Jimmy of the Hills 
 ever had a more suitable employment. It 
 kept him very busy and the labor was light 
 and he liked it. 
 
 Presently Mistress Mackie was obliged 
 to borrow boxes and barrels from various 
 folk, and there was barely standing-room 
 in the small shop because of them. You 
 could hardly get near Mistress Mackie to 
 buy a stamp from her. The post-office was 
 blocked with feathers and still Jimmy of 
 the Hills went ahead very busily.
 
 80 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 At this juncture MacGregor, the kirk 
 elder, thought well to step into the post- 
 office to remonstrate with Mistress Mackie, 
 who, he said, " appeared to be exceeding 
 all reason and sense over yon bed of hers." 
 
 He met Jimmy at Mistress Mackie's 
 door. 
 
 " Man, Jimmy," he said, " can you no 
 leave the hens alone and spare the post- 
 office ? We'll all admit you've done your 
 duty ; nobly done your duty ; Mistress 
 Mackie will be the first to say so, but a 
 post-office is a post-office and no a place 
 for accumulating feathers. If I were you 
 Jimmy man, I'd leave the hens alone." 
 
 Jimmy, however, merely smiled and 
 clucked with his tongue in his cheek as he 
 passed the elder by. 
 
 So MacGregor went in to Mistress 
 Mackie, getting over the threshold, that 
 is to say, and standing there amongst the 
 boxes. 
 
 " Mistress Mackie," said he, " this is 
 becoming a scandal in the place. I can 
 see you beyond the counter but I canna 
 get near you. Are you in your senses, 
 woman, collecting all these feathers ?
 
 Jimmy of the Hills 8l 
 
 You hae a mighty fine variety. This will 
 be a great bed you're making ; one for the 
 whole parish to lie on, I'm thinking, by 
 the time youVe done. I presume you've 
 considered the question of how you're to 
 get the feathers up to Glasgow. That'll 
 be a difficulty. Jimmy of the Hills will 
 no be able to help you. Are you in 
 correspondence with any one to make the 
 bed for you ? I presume you get your 
 own letters correctly, though what with 
 your illness first and the feathers after, 
 other folks' correspondence is sadly inter- 
 fered with ! " 
 
 Before Mistress Mackie could answer 
 him, Jimmy who had had a lucky and 
 very unexpected find not far away in the 
 village, came in with a fresh supply of 
 feathers in a basket. 
 
 " Gosh ! " said MacGregor, " here's more 
 of them. Man," he added to Jimmy, " man, 
 you're energetic. There's no room for 
 two of us here in I'll hae to leave you. 
 Mistress Mackie," he called, " if thae feath- 
 ers are no out of the post-office before 
 next Sabbath I'll get the minister to say a 
 word to you. "We canna have the whole
 
 82 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 parish upset and the post-office blocked be- 
 cause of your desire for a feather bed. I'll 
 admit the desire's reasonable but, gosh, 
 woman, this will never do at all." 
 
 Then MacGregor went home. 
 
 When Sabbath came, the elder, whose 
 pew as you know was shared by Mistress 
 Mackie, asked her in the middle of the 
 singing of the paraphrase if the feathers 
 had gone to Glasgow or if the conjested 
 condition of the post-office still continued. 
 
 " For," said he in a whisper, " I havnae 
 just spoken to the minister yet but I in- 
 tend to." 
 
 Mistress Mackie assured him that the 
 feathers were leaving on the following 
 day, and sure enough on the Monday 
 morning there was Jimmy emptying one 
 box and crushing the contents into another 
 and the rest of it very busy for an hour 
 or two "packing" for Mistress Mackie, 
 and when evening fell some one or other 
 stepped into MacGregor's cottage with the 
 news that Mistress Mackie's feathers had 
 gone. 
 
 " Man ! " said MacGregor, when he 
 heard it, " that's my doing. She's listened
 
 Jimmy of the Hills 83 
 
 to my remonstrance. I hope that's the 
 end of the feathers. I spoke to her in 
 kirk yesterday, during the paraphrase, 
 very severe. It will be a treat to be able 
 to get near the counter in the post-office 
 again. I'll make a point of buying a 
 stamp or two in the morn just to show 
 Mistress Mackie yon feathers were keeping 
 some of her best customers away." 
 
 About three weeks later there was great 
 excitement in the village. 
 
 Mistress Mackie's bed had arrived at the 
 railway station at some distance off, and 
 was expected that evening, for she had sent 
 old Leckie, with one of Grierson's carts, 
 which she had borrowed, to fetch it. 
 
 Jimmy of the Hills had been allowed to 
 accompany the cart, though Leckie would 
 just as soon have gone alone. 
 
 All afternoon the neighbors kept pop- 
 ping in at the post-office to ask : " Has the 
 bed arrived yet, Mistress Mackie ? " and 
 even MacGregor, though he pretended to 
 look down upon the whole business, was 
 seen to pass the post-office more than once 
 that afternoon. 
 
 Mistress Mackie it seems, had received
 
 84 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 an account for the bed and paid for it 
 before it was despatched from Glasgow, 
 and the price being very extravagant 
 (especially after all her trouble in furnish- 
 ing the feathers) local excitement ran 
 high as to what the bed would be like 
 when it came. 
 
 However, evening fell, and no signs yet 
 of the cart coming over the hill, and folks 
 got saying amongst themselves that bar- 
 ring accidents, Leckie and Jimmy of the 
 Hills should have been back by this time. 
 And it was noticed that Mistress Mackie's 
 chronic cough was troubling her a very 
 great deal, as it always did when she was 
 nervous. 
 
 Darkness fell, and the moon rose in the 
 summer sky, and all the birds went to 
 rest, but still never a sign of the bed. 
 
 By this time Mistress Mackie was very 
 anxious and the neighbors would com- 
 fort her by saying that maybe the bed 
 had been delayed on the railway or the 
 cart broken down, and various other sug- 
 gestions. 
 
 So disturbed was the postmistress that 
 she refused to retire to rest, and the end
 
 Jimmy of the Hills 85 
 
 of it was that two of the neighbors sat 
 up the night with her, gossiping and pass- 
 ing the time as best they could and waiting 
 for the bed. 
 
 In the middle of the night, whilst the 
 three of them were occupied in this fashion, 
 a sudden thump came at the door of the 
 post-office, and they all hurried out think- 
 ing to see the cart there, but only to be 
 confronted by old Leckie who had a very 
 disappointing tale to tell. 
 
 At first Mistress Mackie could make 
 neither heads nor tails of it, and the story 
 had to be repeated three times before she 
 caught the drift of it. 
 
 "We had the bed on the cart," said 
 old Leckie, "a fine, handsome, feathery, 
 soft-looking bed, just the very thing Mis- 
 tress Mackie was wanting it to be ; an 
 expensive genteel bed just come by the 
 railway. Weel, thinks I, when we lifted 
 it up and settled it in the cart, it will 
 harm no one if I just step into the Railway 
 Inn and hae a drap before starting. So 
 I did that, leaving Jimmy of the Hills in 
 charge of the cart. There was a man in 
 the Railway Inn got chatting, and I had a
 
 86 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 wee drap with him after the first one, and 
 wasnae above quarter of an hour in the 
 place altogether but, bless me, the cart 
 and Jimmy had started. It was a poor 
 trick and a long walk for an old man. I 
 presume the bed's here meantime. He'll 
 have brought it safely ? " 
 
 When the truth dawned upon Mistress 
 Mackie at last, they say that she was 
 something terrible to behold, fairly scream- 
 ing at old Leckie. 
 
 " Where's my bed ? the feather bed I 
 bought and paid for ? " and so on. 
 
 As for Leckie, he took it very stolidly. 
 
 " Is anything the matter with Mistress 
 Mackie ? Has Jimmy no arrived ? " 
 
 And when they assured him that Jimmy 
 had not returned, he scratched his head 
 and asked them slowly, " Then where the 
 deevil is the bed ? " 
 
 MacGregor has told me that the whole 
 village was awakened in less time than it 
 takes to tell : 
 
 "Man, it was a sensation. But Mistress 
 Mackie was awful distressed. She said she 
 kenned now the meaning of the kind of 
 cloud over her all day, and asseverated
 
 Jimmy of the Hills 87 
 
 that it was very bitter if she had been all 
 this time gathering up feathers and paying 
 for a bed which would have been a credit 
 to the post-office, only for Jimmy of the 
 Hills to lie on ! And when she said that 
 it flashed over me that maybe this was 
 why Jimmy was so keen over the feath- 
 ers ! He had a fancy to lie soft himself 
 all the time. I told Mistress Mackie I 
 thought there was a good joke in it look- 
 ing at it from that point of view. But she 
 has very little humor. She couldnae see it. 
 I put it to her this way : ' You made the 
 bed for Jimmy, Mistress Mackie can you 
 no see that?' But she couldnae. How- 
 ever, when the daylight came we all went 
 out to search for Jimmy, expecting to find 
 him lying in the cart with the bed under 
 him somewhere. But we came across the 
 cart and horse on the moor, but no Jimmy. 
 And the cart was empty. 
 
 "When we came back to the village, 
 however, who should meet us but Jimmy 
 himself. So we took him to the post-office 
 to question him, and, says he, when we got 
 there, ' Dinna be angry, Mistress Mackie ; 
 I collected the feathers and I wanted the
 
 88 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 first lie. But I didnae sleep on it very 
 long. I had it on the heather and was 
 very comfortable, but a gipsy man with 
 two gipsy women came by before I was 
 sound and wakes me up, and says : " That's 
 just the very kind of thing we're wanting." 
 So I gied them the bed and came home.' 
 
 " When Jimmy said that," added Mac- 
 Gregor, " you could have knocked Mistress 
 Mackie down with a feather. She hadnae 
 the heart to despatch any one after the 
 gipsies for hours, and when she did it was 
 too late. 
 
 " Whether Jimmy of the Hills had told 
 the truth or not the bed was spirited away 
 for good. I remember saying to her as she 
 passed by the plate the following Sabbath, 
 ' I hope that's the end of feathers, Mistress 
 Mackie. You're no the kind destined for 
 such luxury. It's been a good lesson to us 
 all. Feathers will fly,' says I, l whether on 
 the bird or in the bed. But they're no a 
 thing for a post-office at all.' 
 
 " Man, she just stared at me and passed 
 on. No a very pleasant way of treating a 
 man, but that was her conduct just stared 
 and passed on ! "
 
 CHAPTER YII 
 
 MACGKEGOR AND THE WHITE COW 
 
 THERE was a curious superstition which 
 had its day amongst the folk in the village. 
 It has died away many a year ago, and 
 whilst it existed was of a character purely 
 local. 
 
 Amongst the cattle up at Grierson's farm 
 there used to be one animal marked out 
 from all the others through having a very 
 bad temper at milking time ; this was 
 Grierson's white cow. 
 
 Many a story has been related of its bad 
 behavior, how it would lash out with its 
 hind feet at the barest touch upon the 
 udder, and how there would be a strange 
 almost uncanny light in its eyes alike in 
 the byre and in the field. Many a lass has 
 been damaged by the hind foot of Grier- 
 son's white cow. 
 
 But the strangest thing of all lay in the 
 cow's disappearance, for one morning, com- 
 ing to the byre where the cattle had been 
 89
 
 90 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 left over night, the farmer found the white 
 cow's stall empty although no other beast 
 among them all had been taken. 
 
 Nor was the white cow ever seen again, 
 but its shape or form or spirit, so folk had 
 it, would ever and anon haunt the glen, 
 and whenever the cow was thus encoun- 
 tered in the spirit, so surely the very next 
 day after it a child would be born in the 
 parish or a man or woman would die. 
 
 Some said that it was the gipsies who 
 had taken the beast from the byre by night, 
 but others again objected that at that sea- 
 son the gipsies were not in the district at 
 all. But, however the cow was stolen or 
 however it escaped, sure enough it was lost 
 to the farmer for good, never to be heard 
 of save in the spirit shape, from that day. 
 
 How the superstition connected with its 
 subsequent appearances in the glen first 
 arose was also a question. It was enough 
 for the village, so it seems, that the ghost 
 of the white cow was never seen by mortal 
 eye without the immediate consequences 
 spoken of ; namely, that some one must die 
 upon the succeeding day or some child 
 must be born.
 
 The White Cow 91 
 
 And it used to cause many an anxious 
 gathering amongst the cottagers if one of 
 them should have happened to step down 
 from the direction of the glen with word 
 that some one or other had just seen the 
 white cow ; and speculation would be rife 
 as to whose child was about to come into 
 the world or who amongst them was most 
 like to die. 
 
 " MacGregor, the elder at the kirk, had 
 a nasty cough about him last Sabbath," 
 they would say, "maybe the cow has 
 marked him for a better land," or, " I hear 
 that old Stevenson was laid by the heels 
 with a touch of fever two nights ago ; 
 maybe the cow is meaning his day's 
 come," or, "I've no been feeling very 
 weel myself lately. Are you positive sure 
 the cow was seen ? What was it doing ? 
 Would it be flitting like a bird or just 
 standing looking ? You've made me very 
 uncomfortable with this illness about 
 me." 
 
 Or, maybe, some one would favor the 
 birth question and they would go at that 
 for a time. 
 
 On one occasion the cow puzzled every-
 
 92 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 body, having been seen at night by 
 Saunders, the shoemaker, and never a 
 birth nor a death amongst the parish dur- 
 ing the stipulated time. 
 
 Folks took Saunders to task with much 
 severity, saying that he must have been 
 mistaken as to meeting the white cow in 
 the glen, for this, they said, could not hap- 
 pen with no result after it. It never oc- 
 curred to them to doubt the cow itself. It 
 was the word or the vision of Saunders 
 which was at stake. The cow had never 
 made a failure. 
 
 The shoemaker, however, stuck to his 
 point and swore to his cow. 
 
 " Man, Saunders," said MacGregor, " I 
 wouldnae just swear so definite. Leave 
 the cow and yourself just a loophole for 
 escape from a difficult position. Folks 
 would like to believe you that you saw the 
 beast, but there's neither birth nor death 
 following. You've no proof. You simply 
 canna definitely asseverate in face of 
 events that you saw the cow." 
 
 " I'll swear it," says Saunders. " As sure 
 as I'm standing here and you listening, I 
 saw the cow in the glen just as white as
 
 The White Cow 93 
 
 ever and its eyes the same Ay, 
 
 I'll swear." 
 
 " Man," says MacGregor, " in the face of 
 events I'm awful sorry for your soul. For 
 the sake of a cow, more or less, it's a pity 
 to think that I'll go to one place when I 
 die and you to another." 
 
 " Gosh," says Saunders, " I'll risk that 
 I saw the cow." 
 
 MacGregor made no further remon- 
 strance but he confided to Andy, the pre- 
 centor, that he felt "awful sorry for 
 Saunders. If the man had died himself 
 to prove the truth of it, it would have 
 been better. We could have believed him 
 then that he'd met the cow." 
 
 There was quite a gloom upon the vil- 
 lage on account of Saunders' oath for two 
 days afterwards, till one evening Mac- 
 Gregor came into the post-office with a 
 bright face. 
 
 "Mistress Mackie," says he, "I know 
 no better way of spreading a thing about 
 than telling it to you. You can just men- 
 tion to a few folk that Saunders' soul is 
 safe 'he did see the cow the riddle's 
 been solved. I've been up to Grierson's
 
 94 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 and he's had a letter, as you doubtless 
 noticed, from Effie Williamson, his 
 daughter. It appears she was a mother 
 in the South within the time specified, and 
 belonging to the parish you see that would 
 be the meaning of Saunders' vision. That 
 clears Saunders' soul. It's a wonderful 
 cow. You can just mention that mother 
 and child are doing well," and MacGregor 
 stepped onwards up the village with the 
 news. 
 
 When the minister's wife had her 
 seventh bairn there was some trouble 
 when folks met at kirk afterwards, for 
 it had now become as much a necessity for 
 " luck's sake," so to speak, that the cow 
 should be seen under such circumstances 
 as that a birth or a death should follow 
 the vision. 
 
 On the present occasion there had been 
 no report whatever of any one meeting the 
 ghost in the glen, so that this was only a 
 trifle less disturbing to the parish than the 
 question of Effie Williamson's bairn at a 
 previous time. 
 
 MacGregor the elder waited by the 
 plate in much anxiety that Sabbath as
 
 The White Cow 95 
 
 folks filed into kirk, thinking, it is to be 
 feared, more about the cow in the glen 
 than of the number of pennies in the plate 
 by him, but not liking to ask any one 
 definitely if they had seen the animal, till 
 kirk was done. 
 
 The birth of the minister's bairn with- 
 out the luck of a visit from the cow seemed 
 but an ill omen for the kirk and the parish ; 
 why, no one could quite say, but they all 
 felt it to be so. 
 
 So greatly had the cow taken possession 
 of the district that even the minister 
 (with his Glasgow education at the Uni- 
 versity to look back upon through a mist 
 of years) was himself, in a small degree, a 
 victim to the universal superstition. So 
 much so that he could be noticed now and 
 then during the sermon casting an anxious 
 look, with a kind of query in it, towards 
 MacGregor's pew, as much as to say, 
 " Have you any word of it ? Has any 
 one seen the cow in the glen or is my 
 bairn to be an exception, and maybe un- 
 lucky over it?" That at least was how 
 MacGregor took it, and he confided to 
 lame Andy, the precentor, afterwards,
 
 96 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 " Man, I couldnae in justice raise my eyes 
 to the minister's for fear of unduly en- 
 couraging him. It was an awkward posi- 
 tion very." 
 
 After kirk was over the elder tackled 
 every one of them as they went into the 
 graveyard, asking them, one after the 
 other, " Have you seen the cow ? It 
 would be lucky for the minister," and 
 meeting with sad looks or a shake of the 
 head, or a brief "no," till he came to 
 Saunders, the shoemaker. 
 
 That worthy passed by MacGregor and 
 his query at the same time, as though he 
 noticed neither the one nor the other, and 
 would have set out homeward in what 
 MacGregor has since termed, "a very 
 suspicious fashion," but that the elder had 
 a sudden quick thought of it and laid his 
 hand on Saunders' arm. 
 
 " Saunders," said he, very severely, 
 " Saunders, there's something strange 
 about your manner and I notice you've 
 failed to answer me. I hope you wish no 
 ill to the minister's bairn. We've all the 
 feeling that the cow should have been 
 seen in the glen."
 
 The White Cow 97 
 
 " I've that feeling myself," said Saun- 
 ders, " but I'm no always believed when I 
 see it." 
 
 " Saunders," pursued MacGregor, 
 "you're keeping something back you've 
 been up the glen lately." 
 
 " I have," said Saunders, " and within 
 the time you're thinking, but my vision's 
 very defective lately." 
 
 Then MacGregor took another tone. 
 
 " Man, for the minister's sake," he im- 
 plored, " if you can lift the cloud over his 
 elder and other folk, and in particular, 
 take away the bad luck of ushering a child 
 into the world without it. I hae an old 
 pair of boots to mend, Saunders, if you'll 
 undertake it ; just heels and soles ; the 
 uppers are quite good. Now, Saunders, 
 have you seen it ? " 
 
 "I've noticed your boots for many a 
 day," said Saunders, " the uppers want ren- 
 ovating. A patch here and there would 
 do no harm, forbye the heels and soles." 
 
 " Well ! well ! Man, just patch them 
 too. What am I to tell the minister ? " 
 
 "I'll do the boots first and hae my 
 money before I answer you," replied the
 
 98 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 shoemaker, and not another word would 
 he say. 
 
 MacGregor sent him the boots very 
 early on Monday morning, for in his own 
 mind he was almost certain that Saunders 
 could relieve his anxiety by a simple state- 
 ment, but Saunders had his revenge for 
 the disbelief of a previous occasion, by 
 working at the boots very slowly, although 
 MacGregor called in to ask about them 
 several times a day. 
 
 It was the following Friday before the 
 boots were delivered by Saunders in per- 
 son, and paid for by the elder. 
 
 "Now, Saunders," said MacGregor, 
 "you'll tell me have you news for the 
 minister ? " 
 
 "Man, you might have guessed it 
 surely," was the reply, "everybody else 
 in the parish denied the beast but one man 
 and that man was me." 
 
 Quarter of an hour afterwards Mac- 
 Gregor was footing it up to the manse. 
 
 "Minister," says he, with a glad face, 
 when the door opened, " I'm glad to 
 bring the news to you. The bairn's all 
 right for luck. Some one saw the cow ! "
 
 The White Cow 99 
 
 So deeply rooted did the superstition 
 finally grow that the white cow became 
 a very great nuisance, as the deciding 
 element so to put it of every one's destiny, 
 and where matters might have ended it is 
 difficult to say had it not been for the very 
 fortunate departure of the animal from the 
 glen. 
 
 For a very long time past it had been 
 noticed that Saunders was the only person 
 in the neighborhood who ever saw the 
 cow, and his boot trade seemed more or 
 less to depend upon its appearances, for 
 the village folk would employ him when- 
 ever he met the apparition at suitable 
 moments, in order to get the news from 
 him. 
 
 Lame Andy has told me that he would 
 not quite like to say that Saunders traded 
 on the cow but that it seemed very like it, 
 and when one fine day Saunders left the 
 village to set up a shop in Glasgow, and 
 when the cow seemed to have gone along 
 with him and left the glen entirely, so that 
 folks were born and died and never a 
 sight of it and no worse luck to the bairns 
 because of it, it gradually got about the
 
 ioo The Elder MacGregor 
 
 place that it was Saunders who had first 
 invented the ghost of the cow in the glen, 
 and then some folks found out that it was 
 always Saunders who had seen it from the 
 very first and that no one else had actually 
 encountered it lut Saunders. 
 
 When it came to that, the cow died alto- 
 gether and was never mentioned by a soul, 
 not even by MacGregor who had once such 
 a faith in it. 
 
 When any one mentions the matter to 
 the elder now, he will take off his hat and 
 scratch his head somewhat doubtfully. 
 
 " Man," he will say, " there was a super- 
 stition over that which terminated when 
 Saunders went to Glasgow. He's doing 
 far better, I hear, than the man deserves. 
 But there's one thing certain there was a 
 cow, for Farmer Grierson once had it and 
 it disappeared. I'd let the matter rest 
 there for it's a very disagreeable subject. 
 That's all I hae to say on the matter, there 
 was a cow and it disappeared."
 
 CHAPTER VIII 
 
 ANGUS MACRAE 
 
 IN the far-away time, when some of us 
 who are now well on in our appointed 
 years, were little children, there lived in 
 the village, not many cottages distant from 
 where the post-office now stands, a young 
 couple who, at the end of their first year 
 of married life, were said to be more de- 
 voted to one another, if that were possible, 
 than when they had stood in the kirk, side 
 by side before the minister, twelve months 
 gone by. 
 
 The man was called Angus Macrae, and 
 the name of his lass was Jean ; but despite 
 their affection for one another, which folks 
 say it was beautiful to see, she had borne 
 him no child. 
 
 As they were poor, maybe this was just 
 as well. 
 
 Angus was a young laborer, and Jean, 
 the daughter of another, but though their
 
 1O2 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 sphere of life was thus somewhat lowly, 
 the pair of them were happy as the day 
 was long. 
 
 Like the rest of the village they were 
 regular kirk-goers, and you would hear the 
 gossipers say on Sabbath, as the young 
 couple passed by, how a most wonderful 
 change had come upon the lassie with her 
 marriage for she had ever been a bit wild 
 in her ways, until Angus Macrae took the 
 wayward laughing lassie in his arms one 
 summer evening in the glen yonder and 
 spoke serious words to her for once in a 
 way, kissing her on the lips and claiming 
 her for always as his own. 
 
 "Marriage has settled the lassie to a 
 wonderful degree," or " Angus kenned well 
 what he was doing when he married her," 
 or, " Who'd have thought the bonnie Jean, 
 who was aye so lightsome should sober in 
 a year?" would be the remarks about 
 them ; but there were one or two of the 
 older folk who would shake their heads 
 and say, " It's to be hoped for Angus' sake 
 she didnae change too soon. From child 
 of flighty ways to woman of sober ear- 
 nestness all in a year ! Her with her bon-
 
 Angus Macrae 103 
 
 nie face the while ! "We'll hope, for Angus' 
 sake, the future may hold good for him in 
 store." 
 
 They all seemed sure enough about 
 Angus; the life question for the young 
 couple lay, it seemed, for lasting settle- 
 ment upon the side of Jean. 
 
 Towards the early autumn, when Jean 
 and Angus were fairly set into the second 
 year of married life, there came into the 
 village one heavy afternoon, when the 
 clouds were lying low over the heather and 
 the air was full and close with an approach- 
 ing storm, a young Englishman, who was 
 in Scotland for pleasure, so he said, walk- 
 ing hither and thither on foot, putting up 
 at nights wherever he could find a bed, 
 sketching here and there as he found pleas- 
 ing, and so idling the days away. 
 
 It was not often that a stranger intruded 
 amongst those simple folk, and when it got 
 about that night that "a gentleman artist 
 was lodging for the night at Angus 
 Macrae's," folks shook their heads and 
 wondered at Angus taking a lodger with 
 his bonnie wife alone in the cottage most 
 of the day.
 
 104 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 However, he would be away onwards 
 down the valley, doubtless, like the sum- 
 mer storm which was passing over them 
 that evening, before many hours had come 
 and gone. 
 
 It was Jean who received the stranger 
 when he stopped at the cottage (maybe for 
 another look at a lassie who was pleasing) 
 and as he spoke with her, asking her where 
 he could find a lodging for the night, heavy 
 drops of rain began to fall, so that she 
 asked him indoors from simple courtesy ; 
 and Angus, happening to be home early 
 from his work fell in conversation with the 
 stranger, to whom he took an immediate 
 fancy. 
 
 So when the storm passed by, the Eng- 
 lishman had found his lodging without 
 much seeking for it, and folks proved 
 wrong in thinking to see him leave the 
 village in the morning, for the day went 
 by and the stranger stayed at Macrae's 
 another night and then another. 
 
 Then, it was said, that he was paying 
 well, and was staying for a week, and the 
 week went by and folks got used to seeing 
 him and liked his cheery ways, calling him
 
 Angus Macrae 105 
 
 " Macrae's lodger," and envying the Mac- 
 raes their luck. 
 
 In these days the Englishman would 
 spend his morning sketching up the glen, 
 and his afternoons would be given to long 
 walks over the moor or up the hills. Rain 
 or shine, he was but little in the cottage in 
 the daytime, but would chat for an hour 
 or more with Angus every night. 
 
 Long afterwards, however, folks said 
 that Jean was noticeably very silent on 
 these evenings. She would sit by her hus- 
 band sewing or knitting, but speaking lit- 
 tle, listening to them as they talked. And 
 Angus never dreamed of the evil that was 
 finding its way slowly and insidiously into 
 her woman's heart, never took time to 
 think that this frank young English gentle- 
 man, whose presence and conversation 
 pleased him, might be pleasing also to 
 another, and that other his young wife. 
 
 However, one day something or other 
 took Angus up the glen by a chance, and 
 he happened upon the Englishman at his 
 work, and, being somewhat curious as to 
 the artist's painting, Angus drew near to 
 him unobserved, thinking to look over his
 
 lo6 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 shoulder and see a picture of the glen with 
 the water of the little stream falling over 
 the stones. 
 
 But, when he came nearer it surprised 
 him somewhat to discover that the paint- 
 ing upon which the artist was so busy was 
 that of a woman's face drawn from mem- 
 ory ; and it surprised him still more that 
 this face should be the face of Jean. 
 
 He stood unnoticed amongst the trees 
 for a little, puzzling over it, hardly aware 
 that every touch of the artist's brush was 
 a lingering touch, as though the picture 
 were being painted with the man's heart 
 all the time he used his hands. 
 
 Then Angus went over to him, making 
 a noise to indicate his presence, and was 
 surprised at seeing the artist start at it and 
 make a movement as though he would at 
 first have covered the canvas. 
 
 " Hullo ! " was the young fellow's cheery 
 greeting. "Hullo, Angus! what brings 
 you to the glen ? In the nick of time. I've 
 something to show you. You were not to 
 have seen this till it was done, but you've 
 caught me. Do you like it ? My legacy 
 to you, Angus, when I leave you."
 
 Angus Macrae 107 
 
 Angus looked at the picture silently, but 
 said never a word. 
 
 The silence grew uncomfortable, so the 
 Englishman spoke again, a trifle boister- 
 ously this time : 
 
 " You are a nice fellow, Angus ! No 
 approval, nothing ! I paint you your 
 wife's portrait and 
 
 " I'll take it when it's done," interrupted 
 Angus, shortly, but there was a nasty knot 
 as of trouble or deep thought on the 
 Scotchman's brow. 
 
 "Of course you understand," said the 
 artist, " she hasn't seen it yet." 
 
 " Ay, I ken that," was the reply. " I'll 
 take it when it's done. Meantime, I'm 
 going up the glen," and without another 
 word Angus moved away. 
 
 The artist would have spoken further, 
 but for once in a way the fluency of his 
 tongue deserted him. He knew that he 
 loved Jean, he knew that Angus knew it ; 
 he knew, too, that for some reason unex- 
 plained to him (as if he were thrust into it 
 by destiny) this Scotch lassie had, whether 
 it were through her eyes or her face or the 
 very crudeness of her ways, got into the
 
 io8 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 heart of him so deep that if it cost him his 
 life be could not leave her ; if it cost him 
 his honor and his hope of eternity this 
 man knew that he must one day rob poor 
 Angus of his one ewe lamb. 
 
 He understood at last the silent majesty 
 of the Scottish mountains, the strength of 
 an overpowering passion was in him to 
 teach him things of which he had never 
 dreamed. Angus, the laborer, could never 
 have loved woman as he now loved. It 
 had crept upon him, stolen over him una- 
 wares a love for a poor lassie whose face 
 was bright and more to him than all the 
 joys of the world put together. He had 
 cursed the day that first brought him to a 
 sight of her, for the end he knew was sin. 
 Yet he had never spoken to Jean one single 
 word of his unholy love. 
 
 That night Angus seemed strange and 
 distant, and though he chatted with the 
 Englishman awhile, he would keep looking 
 at Jean every mow and then, watching her 
 like a cat after a mouse, noticing how de- 
 mure she was the while, how quiet and 
 still. 
 
 But the following morning Angus stepped
 
 Angus Macrae 109 
 
 up the glen to where the Englishman was 
 busy with the picture and the knot of 
 trouble was heavier upon his brow. "See 
 here, sir," he said, " we'll have the picture 
 as it stands. You'll leave my house this 
 day." 
 
 At that the Englishman grew very pale 
 and looked Angus in the face. After a 
 pause he answered : 
 
 "Very well," and began to put his 
 brushes away whilst Angus moved up the 
 glen. 
 
 When his work was done that evening, 
 Angus, with the knot heavier than ever 
 upon his brow, stepped home. Jean met 
 him at the cottage door but he thought 
 that she received him strangely. She took 
 him into the little room and there upon the 
 wall hung the picture of herself, and Jean 
 pointed to it and said : 
 
 " He left that for you, he's gone.'* 1 
 
 Then Angus turned and took his lees 
 firm by the shoulders and looked long and 
 searchingly in her face and said : 
 
 " Has he said anything, Jean ? " and she 
 answered, 
 
 " Nothing."
 
 no The Elder MacGregor 
 
 But that was the second note in the 
 tragedy ; Jean was told by that question 
 that her husband knew. 
 
 From this time till Jean left him, Angus 
 was like a man under the cloud of doom. 
 There are some things beyond the stopping 
 ordered, as it were, to happen, and do 
 what one will there is no preventing them. 
 Angus knew this, maybe, and one night 
 when he staggered into a neighbor 's cot- 
 tage and said : " It's come she's gone," 
 there was no need to question, for the 
 whole parish had in some strange way felt 
 with the man and known what was in the 
 very air about them from the hour the 
 Englishman had gone away. 
 
 Whether he had remained in the vicinity, 
 met Jean by stealth, stolen her away by 
 slow degrees, or whether the lass went 
 to him suddenly, being impelled to it in a 
 way folks cannot understand, is beyond 
 saying. Angus was alone after it, how- 
 ever it had happened, for many a long 
 year. 
 
 The queer thing about it was that he 
 kept the artist's picture, and even when 
 age settled on him very heavily, he would
 
 Angus Macrae ill 
 
 point to it with a somewhat sad pride and 
 say, " Yon was my wife yon winsome 
 lassie. She left me through no fault of 
 hers. I dinna blame her. There was 
 another you see, and a nobler. Ay ! you 
 say he destroyed her. Why did I no fol- 
 low him ? I'll tell you why. It would 
 have been worse, for I'd have killed him. 
 Not my murder you see, but laid at her 
 door. What's been her fate since then I 
 canna say. But sometimes late at night a 
 kind o' vision comes to me and I see her 
 rich and a great lady, and there's a cry in 
 her heart all the time, ' Angus, I'm sorry,' 
 and it seems to me the vision's true. 
 Then, at ten at night I canna say why I 
 choose the hour but just at ten I open my 
 door every night and wait five minutes by 
 the clock, expecting her. I canna say just 
 why. It's a queer thought that, but that's 
 what I've done for years. Years ? man, 
 it's many years; ever since she went 
 away.'' 
 
 But the old man went down to his 
 grave in loneliness after all with the door 
 open one night at ten o'clock to please his 
 fancy. Maybe Jean entered just then,
 
 112 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 though no one saw her entered with the 
 cry in her heart, " Angus, I'm sorry," for 
 when they found him still and cold in the 
 early morning light, there was a smile 
 upon his lips as of a great gladness, like 
 unto the breaking of the cloud and the 
 dawn of a new day.
 
 CHAPTER IX 
 
 MACGREGOR AND THE BUTTON 
 
 BESIDES selling sweeties at the post-of- 
 fice, Mistress Mackie retailed many a small 
 article in the ordinary course of post-office 
 traffic ; " odds and ends, nothing very ex- 
 pensive," as she herself put it. 
 
 One could get a pin or a needle or a bob- 
 bin of thread from her at any moment. 
 
 Mistress Mackie kept some cloth, too, 
 behind the counter, which folks could 
 match as near as may be to the garments 
 they were wearing, if they wanted a bit to 
 patch up a hole or otherwise. 
 
 With the two or three varieties which 
 she kept, Mistress Mackie could usually get 
 within a mile of the kind of cloth any one 
 required for patching. 
 
 She would not sell a black cloth if the 
 clothes were gray, but she might maybe, 
 have to furnish a tawny colored or a yel- 
 low patch through having no gray in the 
 shop. At all events she would get within 
 "3
 
 114 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 reasonable distance of what was wanted, 
 or at least she thought so. 
 
 She only laid herself out for week-day 
 garments, regarding which folks need not 
 be too particular. Sabbath clothes ought 
 never to require patches, or if they did she 
 was not one to sell them. The kirk must 
 be upheld, and patched folks on Sabbath 
 should not attend the kirk but go elsewhere. 
 
 But she would sell a week-day patch 
 with joy. 
 
 Amongst other items Mistress Mackie 
 was particularly strong in buttons. She 
 brought them by as much as quarter of a 
 gross of each kind from a shop she corre- 
 sponded with in Glasgow, and would sell 
 them at a farthing or a halfpenny or a 
 penny a-piece when folks wanted them ; 
 but they were very small and useless arti- 
 cles at a farthing. 
 
 One day Mistress Mackie surprised the 
 village by a sudden exhibition of a number 
 of cards of a new button in the post-office 
 window. 
 
 To tell the truth they had sent her too 
 many of these from Glasgow, but she 
 thought she would try to work up a fash-
 
 The Button 115 
 
 ion in them and get rid of them rather 
 than return them. There was nothing 
 much about them, for they appeared to be 
 very ordinary trouser buttons, except that 
 they were of a silver color, silvered back and 
 front and, looking from a little distance at 
 the post-office window, one could almost 
 have fancied it to be filled with new six- 
 pences stuck at regular intervals upon 
 pasteboard cards. 
 
 When MacGregor, the kirk elder, first 
 saw these buttons he happened to be in the 
 company of Andy, the precentor, and the 
 two of them stopped for a moment to 
 examine Mistress Mackie's new stock, as 
 now exhibited in front of the sweeties in 
 the post-office window. 
 
 Andy has told me that the mere sight of 
 them disturbed MacGregor vastly. 
 
 " Gosh," said that worthy, " man, Andy, 
 if one of yon gets into the kirk plate ! " 
 
 Andy assured him that this was exceed- 
 ingly improbable, but MacGregor stepped 
 into the post-office to remonstrate with 
 Mistress Mackie who, so he said, might for 
 all she knew, be getting at the " very 
 foundations of their religion."
 
 ii6 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 " I would expose them on the counter, 
 Mistress Mackie," he urged, " but no in the 
 window, tempting folk. I'm an elder my- 
 self and beyond the thought of it; but 
 gosh ! Mistress Mackie, thae buttons ! I 
 wouldnae care to be going to a strange kirk 
 myself with one in my own possession. 
 It's an awful temptation, woman, to expose 
 to the parish. I presume you sell them 
 cheap ? " 
 
 Mistress Mackie mentioned the price but 
 could not induce the elder to invest. 
 
 " They're no use to me," he said in a 
 bitter kind of way and hitting at Mistress 
 Mackie, " no mortal use to me ; it's my 
 duty to take care of the kirk plate, no so 
 much to put things in it, but, woman, you 
 make me tremble for my duty next 
 Sabbath with my eyesight no so clear as it 
 used to be. They come from Glasgow, 
 you say ? There must be a lot of sin on 
 Sabbath in that city with thae things in 
 profusion. I'll have a stamp from you to 
 encourage trade, but for the love of the 
 kirk, woman, take the buttons from the 
 post-office window." 
 
 Mistress Mackie gave him the stamp
 
 The Button 117 
 
 but did not remove the buttons, and so 
 save that Mistress Mackie sold a few of 
 them the buttons remained upon their 
 cards in the window till the Sabbath came 
 round. 
 
 It proved to be a dripping wet Sabbath 
 morning, a downpour of rain, although it 
 was the summer time, and the minister 
 was late in getting down to kirk through 
 having stopped a moment or two to mend 
 his umbrella, the cloth of which had given 
 way at the end of one of the ribs a small 
 detail which he was able to rectify him- 
 self, but it ran him later than usual in 
 arriving at the kirk. 
 
 As many of the folk were in the habit, 
 wet or dry, of congregating at the kirk 
 door till the minister was actually in the 
 vestry, MacGregor, who stood there with 
 a keen eye upon the plate, had a somewhat 
 anxious time on this occasion. It got 
 about that the minister was late for one 
 thing and this unusual occurrence flustered 
 the elder, and the putting down of the wet 
 umbrellas of those who possessed them, 
 and the taking off of the cloaks of one or 
 two of the women of the parish who could
 
 ll8 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 afford such luxuries, all in the near 
 vicinity of the plate, disturbed the elder 
 still further, for the fear of death was on 
 him that in the midst of these manoeuvres 
 some one or other would surreptitiously 
 drop one of Mistress Mackie's buttons 
 amongst the coppers in the kirk plate. 
 
 If there was one thing MacGregor loved 
 it was his kirk ; if there was one thing he 
 held in special reverence it was the plate, 
 of which he had chief charge. 
 
 However, the minister came at last, and 
 such folk as were not already in the kirk 
 went in with a rush to their pews. 
 
 It may have been during this rush that 
 it happened, MacGregor never was quite 
 certain. 
 
 " Man," he put it, " it was the most 
 extraordinary incident. I may be a wee 
 bit dull of the left eye but no of the right, 
 and it was the right eye I kept glued to 
 the plate whilst the parish were occupied 
 with their umbrellas. Yet I had a kind of 
 awesome fear on me all the time ; a kind of 
 prophetic sensation as I'd had the first day 
 I perceived thae cards in Mistress Mackie's 
 window. A kind of voice saying inside
 
 The Button 119 
 
 me, * MacGregor, watch the plate very 
 keen, for it's going to be desecrated to your 
 eternal shame,' and, man, it was, for the 
 thing happened. I thought, mind you, it 
 was all right, for the folks had all gone in 
 and there was the plate, nearly all coppers 
 as usual, a brown-looking plate, but honest. 
 Weel, feeling greatly relieved with this, 
 and never thinking, I just gave it a kind of 
 a bit shake and gosh ! there was the des- 
 ecration staring me in the face, buried 
 under a penny till I shook it. One of yon 
 buttons after all ! You could have killed 
 me with a microscope or any other small 
 article when I perceived it. I just took 
 the plate and straight through the kirk to 
 the vestry and caught the minister in time 
 and told him, for he hadnae left the vestry. 
 " ' It's no so much,' I said to him, ' the 
 fact of the presence of the mere button 
 from Mistress Mackie's shop getting in the 
 plate that forms the desecration, it's the 
 fact that we hae one amongst us in the 
 congregation who's seeking credit from 
 heaven for a sixpence when he's deposited 
 a mere button ; going better than the 
 penny folk in intrinsic value without just
 
 120 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 reason, ay, and better than yon three- 
 penny-bit in the plate this morning, which 
 is very unfair, for Mistress Mackie sells 
 the buttons very low. As for my own 
 share in it,' I said to him, * I remonstrated 
 with Mistress Mackie, who is vastly to 
 blame, and I watched the plate very 
 close, but I'm to blame, too, nevertheless, 
 for in spite of me the thing happened. 
 I'm disgraced as an elder ! ' 
 
 "The minister," added MacGregor, 
 " was very generous, taking a weight off 
 me by saying the matter was very usual 
 in other kirks, but nevertheless, he'd have 
 a word to say after the service. And, 
 man, he said it. Folks thought they were 
 going home as usual that morning, but 
 the minister altered their way of going in 
 a real grand fashion worthy of the man. 
 When everybody thought he was going to 
 leave the pulpit, he just took the emer- 
 gency by the throat instead, in the keen, 
 clever way he would have at times for 
 facing a difficulty. 
 
 " ' You'll just, all of you,' he said, ' in- 
 stead of going out of the usual kirk door 
 this morning, pass one at a time through
 
 The Button 121 
 
 the vestry, for I have a word for each of 
 you.' 
 
 "At that the whole parish trembled 
 and you'd have thought that every one 
 present was the defaulter. Then the min- 
 ister stepped down into the vestry and I 
 followed him. 
 
 "He had the button lying on a table, 
 and he stood by it very stern and majestic. 
 
 " ' Let them come in, MacGregor,' said 
 he, and I let them pass in by ones, and as 
 each party went through and out at the 
 other door, the minister said : 
 
 " ' Look ! ' and pointed to the table, and 
 then said, ' pass on.' 
 
 " There wasnae one of them but shiv- 
 ered, but no one dared to say a word, 
 either to excuse themselves or otherwise, 
 for the occasion had made the minister 
 look more than mortal. All the folk, in- 
 cluding his own household, filed past him 
 as I admitted them, and out at the other 
 door into the rain. It was an ordeal for the 
 most of them, and as for Mistress Mackie, 
 what with my looking at her very angry 
 and then with seeing the minister, she fair 
 burst into tears.
 
 122 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 " "Weel, at last it was all over. 
 
 " ' MacGregor,' said the minister to me, 
 'it's my impression that there's not a 
 person in the kirk who is not guilty, judg- 
 ing by their guilty looks.' 
 
 " ' Weel,' says I, ' there's only one way 
 of it was there never one in the whole 
 congregation who looked innocent f ' 
 
 " ' There is only one man of my people, 
 MacGregor,' he said, 'who looks inno- 
 cent.' 
 
 " ' Depend on it,' says I, ' that's the man.' 
 
 " ' I should be sorry to hear it, Mac- 
 Gregor,' says he, ' for the only man who 
 looks innocent is an elder of my kirk and 
 MacGregor is his name. He has been 
 agitating very severe lately for a change 
 of postmistress in the district, and you 
 tell me they'd all entered the kirk before 
 the button appeared at all. I'll say no 
 more.' 
 
 " And, man, what \vas the end of it ? I 
 fair couldn't answer him, being struck 
 dumb with the accusation and with his 
 noble and majestic look. He took up his 
 umbrella while I stood there and went out 
 in the rain, and then I knew that my
 
 The Button 123 
 
 very silence had admitted yon button. If 
 it hadnae been for this event and the seem- 
 ing evil in it, I'd have had Mistress Mackie 
 transplanted from the post-office long be- 
 fore now, for she's very useless, but with 
 the minister accusing his elder of raising a 
 plot against her through yon button, and 
 him apparently admitting it through being 
 surprised, I never agitated against Mistress 
 Mackie from that hour. 
 
 " I got back the minister's favor in due 
 time, but I never liked to refer to the 
 event of the button. He'd condemned me 
 and he believes I put that button in till 
 this day. 
 
 " The question is who was the real un- 
 adulterated offender ? I'm in favor of 
 thinking it was daft Jimmy of the Hills, 
 or maybe, Mistress Mackie herself, but I'm 
 no very sure. 
 
 " Somebody or another got the credit of 
 a sixpence up in heaven, and the elder of 
 the kirk got the blame of a button upon 
 earth. I ken no more."
 
 CHAPTER X 
 
 MACGEEGpR AND THE MINISTER'S COAT 
 
 "WHEN I meet him in the village, if 
 there's a sun at all in the heavens it's like 
 three folk coming together, and two of 
 them approaching me. One of the latter 
 is the minister, and the other the reflection 
 of myself in his garments. We like our 
 minister to shine but no just exactly in 
 that fashion ! " 
 
 Such was the opening of MacGregor's 
 address to a few of the folk who had met 
 together secretly at the post-office one 
 night, when the shutters were up and the 
 business of the shop concluded for the day. 
 They would have held the meeting down 
 at the kirk, but they were afraid the min- 
 ister might get to hear of it and they 
 didn't wish this, so Mistress Mackie placed 
 the post-office at their disposal. 
 
 " Years wear out a thing," continued 
 the elder. " But that's no to say they 
 canna be replaced, always supposing," he 
 124
 
 The Minister's Coat 125 
 
 added slowly, " one has the means to re- 
 place them, and if one hasnae the means 
 maybe other folks have, and that is the 
 purpose for which we are convened here 
 this night. You all ken, I fancy, what 
 has been gathering like a thunder-storm in 
 the minds of the parish ever since yon 
 strange minister came for a couple of days 
 to the village, and we compared the differ- 
 ence. The difference was very striking. 
 Yon strange minister's coat was new and 
 did him credit. I'll no remark exactly 
 what I might say about the other min- 
 ister's coat which more closely belongs to 
 us, but you are aware I take it that the 
 comparison wasnae exactly in our favor. 
 A matter of five years or more tells on 
 the garments of any man. 1 " 
 
 " Five ! " spoke Mistress Mackie from 
 behind the counter, " five ! it's more like 
 twenty or five and twenty, or I'm mis- 
 taken." 
 
 " I'll trouble you, Mistress Mackie," said 
 the elder severely, " to say as little as you 
 can manage on this occasion. Our affair 
 is to screen the minister and there's no de- 
 sire in consequence to be exact just to a
 
 126 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 year or two. We all ken it's something 
 over five years, but we'd prefer to think it 
 less." 
 
 MacGregor looked round him proudly 
 after this effort. There was a feeling in 
 the air that applause was expected, but 
 none of the few who were present cared 
 to start it. 
 
 " We have to consider," resumed the 
 elder, " how the thing is to be accom- 
 plished. When I say ' how ' I mean to 
 include several kinds of ' how.' There is 
 the * how,' for instance, which is a mon- 
 etary affair involving funds, and there is 
 the ' how ' 'as to a question of measure- 
 ment, and there is the ' how ' as to finding 
 the proper man in Glasgow or Edinburgh 
 to construct the article, for we'll have 
 nothing local. And there are other 
 'hows,' but I'll no trouble you with them 
 in the meantime. Mistress Mackie, your 
 cough is very troublesome, can you no 
 suppress it? If you could I'd be grate- 
 ful ; and another thing, if I've much more 
 to say on this subject as I fancy will be 
 likely, could you furnish me with a glass 
 of water to stand by me ? "
 
 The Minister's Coat 127 
 
 Mistress Mackie fetched the water and 
 the elder sipped it. 
 
 " On the question of the ' how ' of the 
 expense and other monetary details, the 
 parish is agreed, I understand, to bear the 
 whole burden, for in the case of a compli- 
 mentary present it would hardly do to go 
 to the minister and say, ' Minister, we are 
 presenting you with a new coat how 
 much will you contribute yourself towards 
 it?' That would never do at all. The 
 man must have the coat delivered free at 
 the manse when it's constructed, with- 
 out a farthing to pay for it. That, says I, 
 is the first ' how.' 
 
 " The second ' how ' is as to the fit. We 
 canna take a tape up to the manse to 
 measure his waist and shoulders or he'd 
 be asking, ' What are you at ? ' and, 
 maybe, stop it. Nor can I contrive it in 
 the vestry on Sabbath secretly. We must 
 give up the thought of measuring the man's 
 actual body. In this connection I hae a 
 very clever idea I hope you'll allow me 
 to promulgate amongst you. We canna 
 measure the minister's system personally, 
 but we might measure some one like him.
 
 128 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 It's ray own thought, and I'm proud of it, 
 for it meets a difficulty. And more than 
 this, I've gone further, for all the time of 
 the service last Sabbath morn I kept my 
 eyes about the kirk, comparing first one 
 and then another with the minister in the 
 pulpit until at last I got it. You'll maybe 
 be surprised when I tell you I could only 
 discover one person who would take a 
 coat, as far as one can gather, nearabouts 
 the same size as the minister. And you'll 
 be further surprised when I tell you that 
 that person is daft Jimmy of the Hills." 
 
 At this a chorus of " No, no, no," rose 
 from MacGregor's audience, and one 
 amongst them said " Shame ! " but Mac- 
 Gregor promptly withered him by turning 
 round suddenly and saying, " Shame ! 
 Where's the shame ? It's to Jimmy's credit 
 and it's only the back and the shoulders. 
 When you come to the legs or the head 
 there's a vast difference and his arms are 
 longer. We'll hae to take account of that. 
 But what I say is this, that for general 
 exactness a coat that would fit Jimmy of 
 the Hills would no be very far a\vay from 
 fitting the minister, and if you'll no be-
 
 The Minister's Coat 129 
 
 lieve me I have a plan to test it and prove 
 it to you." 
 
 Andy inquired what the plan was. 
 
 "Weel, supposing Jimmy's willing, we'll 
 choose one of the wettest days in the week 
 and get him to sit in the rain till he's 
 drenched with it. Then we'll send him 
 up to the manse and the minister will be 
 sorry for him and say, * Come in Jimmy, 
 to the fire, and take a warm to yourself.' 
 
 "Now, here's the clever bit. Once 
 Jimmy's at yon manse fire we'll instruct 
 him to shiver and take off his jacket and 
 say : ' Eh, but I wish I had the loan of a 
 dry coat the day I'm cold, cold.' Now 
 it's very probable (if I ken the minister at 
 all ) that at this the minister will take off 
 his coat and lend it to Jimmy, and there 
 will be some of you disbelievers of my 
 word near at hand to keek through the 
 window of the manse at this juncture and 
 see how it fits. If it fits well, the con- 
 clusion is practically ended. "We'll ken, 
 or you'll ken, for I ken it myself already, 
 that in ordering the minister's coat frae 
 Glasgow or elsewhere, all we have to do 
 is to measure Jimmy. I hope that's plain."
 
 130 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 Those present agreed that they under- 
 stood the elder's meaning. 
 
 MacGregor continued : 
 
 " Having disposed of this difficulty, there 
 is the ' how ' of the question of choosing a 
 good tailor, and myself I'm in favor of the 
 parish paying somebody's expenses to 
 Glasgow or Edinburgh to arrange this, for 
 it's all in the ' cut ' I'm told, with minis- 
 ters' raiments, and the question's very im- 
 portant. I'll mention no names exactly, 
 but I ken one man who'd be well fitted for 
 the task ; he's an elder of the kirk and 
 wouldnae object to the jaunt (to Edinburgh 
 for choice, he's no keen about going to 
 Glasgow), I fancy some of you will gather 
 the name of the man who would be pre- 
 pared to make this sacrifice ? " 
 
 MacGregor looked round him. Every- 
 body was looking very dull at this point. 
 There were one or two would have liked 
 the journey themselves if the parish were 
 paying for it, and it seemed hard luck to 
 every one if MacGregor was to be chosen, 
 as he so clearly indicated. 
 
 "Having got to Edinburgh," continued 
 the elder, " the man I refer to would make
 
 The Minister's Coat 131 
 
 it his first duty to examine all the tailors' 
 shops and the clothes they had and the 
 prices. He would then choose the proper 
 place and furnish Jimmy's measurements, 
 and complete the affair generally. 
 
 "The whole affair, forbye its difficulties, 
 wouldnae necessitate his residing in Edin- 
 burgh longer than, maybe, three days, and 
 the coat could be sent after him unless the 
 parish considered it advisable for him to 
 wait and bring the article back with him. 
 I dinna ken how you regard this last sug- 
 gestion ? " 
 
 MacGregor looked round again inquir- 
 ingly. The faces near him looked blanker 
 than ever. The expense of the minister's 
 new coat appeared to be increasing by 
 leaps and bounds. 
 
 " In the latter case," said MacGregor, 
 " one of you could take my duties at the 
 kirk on Sabbath if I was away a Sabbath. 
 I'm no looking forward to the event you 
 understand. It's a considerable sacrifice 
 to undertake it, but I'll no just object to 
 the Sabbath in Edinburgh, when I'm there 
 at any rate, if you're wanting me to re- 
 main till the coat's ready. There's the
 
 132 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 Tron and one or two other kirks to attend, 
 I'm thinking." 
 
 Mistress Mackie was the only one who 
 ventured to make a counter suggestion, for 
 the surprise MacGregor had sprung upon 
 them had taken folks' breath away. 
 
 "Glug-glug," began Mistress Mackie, 
 with her curious cough. " Glug-glug, I'm 
 thinking, MacGregor, the parish could nae 
 do without you on a Sabbath. It would suit 
 better to send myself than a kirk elder." 
 
 " Tut, tut, woman," said MacGregor, in 
 a vexed tone, " what do you ken about 
 ministers' coats? You may consider the 
 matter settled before you spoke. I ken 
 where my duty lies. I hae a special call 
 set on me, like a voice saying, ' MacGregor, 
 no matter what it costs you, go ! " 
 
 "It will cost you naething," replied 
 Mistress Mackie, " if the parish has to pay 
 for it." 
 
 " Tut, tut, you're beyond reason, woman," 
 answered the elder. " The thing's settled. 
 Weel, folks, we'll adjourn for this even- 
 ing," he concluded, " and we'll settle the 
 methods of subscription and the rest to- 
 morrow night at the same place and hour."
 
 The Minister's Coat 133 
 
 MacGregor got rather hurriedly out of 
 the post-office after this, but the others re- 
 mained behind discussing the new phase of 
 the matter, for it seemed likely that Mac- 
 Gregor's visit to Edinburgh would cost 
 much more than the coat, nor could any- 
 body quite see why a new coat for the 
 minister should necessarily involve a 
 week's holiday in Edinburgh for MacGre- 
 gor at the parish expense. 
 
 The intention was good but the outlay 
 another matter. 
 
 Perhaps it was as well that MacGregor 
 left when he did, as he was very severely 
 handled after his departure. 
 
 A very admirable suggestion was brought 
 forward presently before the rest of the 
 meeting dispersed, to the effect that a let- 
 ter might contrive just about as much as 
 MacGregor's proposed outing. 
 
 Young MacConnochie was with his regi- 
 ment in Glasgow, and he was a lad with 
 some brains about him. Doubtless he 
 would be able to give them the name of a 
 tailor or two, and to arrange the terms, 
 and all else, once they were in possession 
 of the minister's measurements. I believe
 
 134 Th e Elder MacGregor 
 
 that the affair was ultimately arranged 
 thus after one or two further meetings. 
 
 MacGregor had a hard fight to maintain 
 his views as to the necessity of " going in 
 person," but was worsted by the unani- 
 mous verdict of a needy parish. 
 
 However, with great good humor the 
 elder did his best for the minister and for 
 the village in spite of this, for it was he 
 who induced Jimmy of the Hills to under- 
 take his share of it, on a singularly wet 
 and bleak afternoon, up at the manse. 
 
 Jimmy had very little liking for the 
 rain, but the promise of a dinner from 
 MacGregor and some sweeties from Mis- 
 tress Mackie brought him to the point of 
 it, and all fell out exactly as MacGregor 
 had planned. 
 
 There was Jimmy sitting before the 
 manse fire with the minister's coat on, and 
 several of the parish outside in the rain by 
 the window to have a look at him ! 
 
 The unfortunate thing was that both 
 the minister and some of his family 
 chanced to notice this, and what was 
 taken to be a very unjustifiable and 
 unusual curiosity as to affairs at the
 
 The Minister's Coat 135 
 
 manse, furnished the minister with a 
 scathing sermon which made several of 
 them blush scarlet with shame the follow- 
 ing Sabbath. 
 
 However, the minister's coat fitted 
 Jimmy after all, and they had obtained 
 the man's measurements, which was the 
 great thing. 
 
 These measurements and certain secretly 
 collected funds went up to Glasgow to 
 young MacConnochie, and a suspense of 
 several days ensued, until at last Mac- 
 Gregor had a post card one day to say 
 that the new coat would arrive at the 
 distant railway station the day after, if he 
 would kindly send for it. 
 
 MacGregor went himself and brought 
 the parcel back in triumph. Then there 
 was another meeting and it was deter- 
 mined to present it to the minister just as 
 it had reached them paper, string and 
 all, and to let him have the first sight 
 of it. 
 
 Mistress Mackie was for opening the 
 parcel, but the village said " No." 
 
 The momentous hour arrived. It was 
 agreed that lame Andy, the precentor, was
 
 136 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 to be the spokesman on this occasion, and 
 up the whole parish tramped with the 
 parcel to the manse. 
 
 The minister was reading a verse or two 
 to his wife that afternoon, and comparing 
 certain passages in the New Testament 
 with certain passages in the Old for her 
 delectation, when the word reached him 
 that he was wanted by the parish out of 
 doors, if he would not mind stepping out 
 to them. 
 
 The unusual nature of the circumstance 
 surprised and perhaps startled the man, 
 for it is said that he rose and went over 
 to where his wife was sitting before he 
 went out to them, and said to her very 
 sadly : 
 
 "We cannot tell in what way things 
 may come to us. My people have sent 
 for me. Maybe, after all these years and 
 with age creeping on me, maybe folks are 
 tired of me and want another minister in 
 my shoes and know not how to set about 
 it. If they are come to say this, the 
 Lord's will be done." 
 
 Then he stepped out bareheaded, and his 
 wife and two of his sons came with him.
 
 The Minister's Coat 137 
 
 There stood Andy with a great parcel in 
 his hands and all the others grouped about 
 him. 
 
 The minister gasped in his wife's ear ; 
 
 "It's not what we were thinking. It's a 
 presentation of something from my peo- 
 ple. The Lord be praised this day." But 
 he came forward as if he knew nothing 
 about it, and said : 
 
 " You sent for me, and I am here." 
 
 Then Andy said : 
 
 "Minister, I am to speak for the folk 
 who love you and none more than me. I 
 am to say they have thought to please you 
 by a gift which it will honor them to see 
 you wear. I am to say, minister, it is 
 given you in all reverence and respect and 
 love. And the gift is here." 
 
 The minister's face changed as Andy 
 spoke and grew stern and cold, and when 
 Andy had concluded he cried with a com- 
 mand in it : 
 
 "What is it? Cut the string." And 
 some one cut it. 
 
 Then the minister took the coat, and 
 they all looked at his stern face in fear of 
 him in fear lest they had offended.
 
 138 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 But the stern look swept away in a mo- 
 ment and in place of it came a great ten- 
 derness. I am told the man's face fell 
 suddenly. 
 
 " My people, I thank you," the minister 
 gulped, " I thank you, I will wear it all 
 my days." 
 
 So the village folk stole home in quiet- 
 ness, for they had seen their minister very 
 nigh to tears. 
 
 What was in his thoughts when he had 
 bade them cut the string was this : 
 
 " Have my people been long ashamed of 
 me?" 
 
 But what he thought when he took the 
 gift and held it was somewhat otherwise. 
 
 " Poor I may be. They have loved me 
 and honored me all these years." 
 
 And it is the latter thought which is al- 
 ways uppermost in his heart, as night 
 after night the minister folds that coat 
 and lays it carefully upon the shelf near 
 his bedside ; as morning after morning 
 he takes it up again to wear it ; to go out 
 amongst his people with his face shining, 
 to meet the labors of a new day.
 
 CHAPTER XI 
 
 GOING FOR A SOLDIER 
 
 ONE of the lads of the village had " gone 
 for a soldier," as the saying was. In other 
 words he had left the village and the next 
 folks heard of him was that he had enlisted 
 and looked very fine indeed in his uniform 
 in Glasgow. 
 
 He was a strapping young fellow named 
 MacConnochie who had been at the plough 
 till the military fancy took him, and like 
 to be a credit to any regiment in the case 
 of war. 
 
 After he had been in Glasgow for some 
 considerable time MacConnochie came 
 home for a little by way of a holiday and 
 was quite a big man in the place whilst his 
 visit lasted. 
 
 Now when Jimmy of the Hills, the daft 
 lad of the village, cast eyes upon him in 
 his uniform, he was so overcome with the 
 glory of the sight as to be literally struck 
 dumb with it for several hours after.
 
 140 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 Jimmy used to have a way of babbling 
 harmless nonsense. Indeed, had he had 
 more sense in him he might have been a 
 troublesome gossip, but folks had learned 
 to pay small heed to him and the only one 
 who seemed to care about his babbling was 
 Mistress Mackie, the postmistress who, 
 when business was slack, would allow 
 Jimmy to sit in the shop and air his views 
 on life in general whilst she herself got rid 
 of any spleen she might happen to have 
 about her by telling Jimmy of her various 
 wrongs. 
 
 On the day when Jimmy of the Hills 
 first beheld the magnificent military spec- 
 tacle of MacConnochie in all his war-paint 
 fresh from Glasgow, Mistress Mackie had 
 to do all the talking, for never a word 
 said Jimmy that morning. He sat on an 
 empty box in the post office "just glower- 
 ing," and looking somewhat thoughtful 
 and uncanny, as if he were planning some- 
 thing in his own mind all the while. 
 
 Every now and then he would leave the 
 post-office and steal down the village to the 
 cottage where MacConnochie's people re- 
 sided, to have another look at the young
 
 "Jimmy gave a hopeless gasp and fell off the box 
 backwards." Page 141. 
 
 Th, Eldtr
 
 Going for a Soldier 141 
 
 soldier, and directly this was accomplished 
 he would hurry away back to the post-office 
 to sit on the empty box again as though 
 the sight of MacConnochie was too much 
 for him. 
 
 Mistress Mackie, noticing his peculiar 
 manner, gave him a sweetie to cheer him, 
 but a kind of gloom seemed to settle upon 
 Jimmy as the morning went by. Yet de- 
 spite his gloom he was very restless and 
 apparently the victim of some strong sup- 
 pressed excitement which Mistress Mackie 
 did not understand. 
 
 Jimmy's excitement came to a height 
 when the young soldier, in person, sud- 
 denly stepped into the post-office to show 
 himself off to Mistress Mackie with a kind 
 of " see what a fine fellow am I " sort of 
 air about him. 
 
 Directly MacConnochie appeared upon 
 the threshold, Jimmy, who was balancing 
 himself on the empty box aforementioned, 
 gave a kind of hopeless gasp and fell off 
 the box backwards, making a great clatter 
 and disturbance. 
 
 Mistress Mackie was very angry and said 
 so; but neither she nor MacConnochie,
 
 142 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 could get Jimmy to remain upon his feet 
 so long as the uniform was near him. 
 
 Mistress Mackie remonstrated and 
 screamed at him, but Jimmy simply lay 
 there gasping, with his face to the floor, 
 and when she and the young soldier 
 dragged him to his feet and placed him on 
 the box, over he went again between them 
 with another gasp, and lay on the floor 
 wallowing. 
 
 This was Jimmy's way of showing his 
 admiration of MacConnochie, but it did 
 not quite suit either Mistress Mackie or 
 the post-office. She had neither the time 
 given her to admire MacConnochie nor to 
 sell him the stamp or post card she pre- 
 sumed he had come for. 
 
 The end of it was that MacConnochie 
 at Mistress Mackie's request, stooped and 
 gathered up the sprawling Jimmy and, 
 swinging him over his shoulder as best he 
 could, carried him out of the shop and 
 dropped him on the roadway, whereupon 
 Jimmy scrambled to his feet and with a 
 loud howl made a bolt through the village 
 away up through the glen to the hills, 
 whence he only emerged some two days
 
 Going for a Soldier 143 
 
 later after MacConnochie had taken his 
 departure for Glasgow. 
 
 For some time after this Jimmy of the 
 Hills remained very dreamy in manner, 
 until the great resolve which was appar- 
 ently shaping within him took definite 
 form. 
 
 At last very early one morning, when 
 Mistress Mackie had just opened the shop, 
 matters came to a head. 
 
 Jimmy stepped in to the post-office, took 
 off his cap and placed it on the counter } 
 and announced in an awestruck whisper : 
 
 " Mistress Mackie, I'm going for a 
 soldier." 
 
 " What ! " screamed Mistress Mackie. 
 " What ! man, you're no fit ! " Then her 
 chronic cough seized her and she could say 
 no more. 
 
 Jimmy repeated : 
 
 "Mistress Mackie, I'm going for a 
 soldier," and taking up his cap, put it on 
 again and left the post-office without more 
 ado. Within less than an hour the news 
 was all over the village. 
 
 " Hae you heard about daft Jimmy ? 
 He's going for a soldier ! "
 
 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 " Ay it would bo the sight of Mac- 
 Connochie inflamed him." 
 
 " They'll no take a ' luny ' in the regi- 
 ment." 
 
 "Will they no? Maybe they'll no 
 ken him for a lunatic until after he's 
 taken." 
 
 " I'll never believe Jimmy of the Hills 
 will ever get to Glasgow to begin with." 
 
 " He's very determined, however, at 
 times, and he 'might." 
 
 " Ay, I'm thinking Jimmy may be a 
 soldier after all." 
 
 Jimmy was on everybody's lips that 
 morning till the minister stepped down 
 from the manse. 
 
 " What's this I hear," said he, " Jimmy 
 of the Hills ? A daft lad ! I'll attend to 
 it. Send him up to the manse to me." 
 
 But this proved to be impossible, for no 
 one could find him. After making the 
 momentous declaration to Mistress Mackie 
 Jimmy had disappeared. 
 
 Then it dawned upon the parish that 
 Jimmy had departed for Glasgow whilst 
 they were all talking about it, and there 
 was a feeling in the air that the village
 
 Going for a Soldier 145 
 
 would be disgraced if he ever reached his 
 destination. 
 
 Certainly a worse representative of the 
 parish than Jimmy of the Hills could not 
 have been found. 
 
 There was the probability, too, that he 
 would get lost and never reach Glasgow, 
 for he was known to have no money, and 
 his silly ways would be like to frighten 
 folks who did not know him. 
 
 MacGregor, the kirk elder, gave it as 
 his opinion, "that it was just a case of 
 Jimmy's losing himself. There's no fear 
 of his getting within many a mile of any 
 regiment, and if he did, they'd soon give 
 him the go-by. Besides, the lad doesnae 
 ken the road beyond the first mile, and 
 who's he to go to for direction ? You'll 
 see him back in a day or two or I'm mis- 
 taken. Go for a soldier ! He may go 
 or start to go but he'll never reach the 
 desired climax. The man's daft, as every- 
 body kens, so where's the sense in attend- 
 ing to him or bothering after him ? " 
 
 Nevertheless, some of the folks thought 
 best to go after Jimmy, and as a search 
 of this kind is infectious, first one would
 
 146 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 go out to seek for him and then another, 
 until the bulk of the parish were at it to 
 bring him back, before he had got far 
 away from the place, if possible. 
 
 " There was a great lack of sense in the 
 parish yon morning," MacGregor has since 
 said to me. "Jimmy wasnae the only 
 daft person in the village, with them all 
 tramping away to look for him. Per- 
 sonally, I wasnae concerned to any great 
 degree whether he went for a soldier or 
 otherwise. It was all a hullabaloo about 
 naething, forbye that I wouldnae just 
 have cared to see Jimmy of the Hills 
 representing the parish in any decent 
 regiment. Fancy Jimmjr in a kilt with 
 yon long legs of his. Man, he would have 
 looked fearsome ; an awful disgrace to us 
 all." 
 
 The search, however, was abandoned 
 long before nightfall, for folks began to 
 think that Jimmy would turn up as usual 
 all in due time. But the days went past 
 and still no Jimmy until a week had gone ; 
 then a fortnight passed ; then three weeks ; 
 and the question still remained unanswered 
 as to what had come of him. Nearly a
 
 Going for a Soldier 147 
 
 month had gone by, when it was reported 
 one morning that the minister had received 
 a letter " from the Colonel of some regi- 
 ment or another," saying that, "Jimmy 
 had reached the barracks, that he had 
 been recognized by a private called Mac- 
 Connochie in the regiment, and asking 
 what they were to do with him," which 
 was a very difficult question for the 
 minister to answer, seeing that he might 
 be expected to send money which he 
 could ill afford, for the relief of Jimmy 
 and to bring him home again. 
 
 It was a sorry business, indeed, if the 
 whole of this responsibility should be put 
 upon the minister, and the minister felt it 
 so. Many a Sabbath had he tried to 
 preach sense into Jimmy's vacant under- 
 standing and failed, nor could Jimmy be 
 even induced to attend the kirk regularly ; 
 he would come for a few Sabbaths one 
 after the other, then he would be absent 
 for several weeks, but no regularity in his 
 attendance, so that it was mighty hard if 
 the expense of redeeming this black sheep 
 were to fall on the minister. 
 
 There was a great grief over it up at the
 
 148 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 manse, and folks noticed that the minister 
 looked very sad in place of being joyful at 
 the lost one being found. 
 
 MacGregor met him in the village and 
 was much struck with his looks, even ask- 
 ing him if he had " any trouble up at the 
 manse," but the minister was too good 
 and proud a man to tell the truth of what 
 was "eating at his marrow," as Mac- 
 Gregor puts it. 
 
 " I had to gather by bits what was 
 troubling him," said the elder, " getting at 
 it with the help of Mistress Mackie who is 
 no very clear-sighted as a rule, but who 
 skirted round the subject in a very clever 
 fashion on this occasion, gradually getting 
 at the difficulty by suggesting, ' You'll 
 hae a lot of expense with yon bairns of 
 yours ? ' and the minister replying that 
 this was so. Then she would say, ' And 
 you'll hae had a lot of expenditure in the 
 past ? ' and he would agree. Till, by clever 
 remarks of that kind it just dawned on 
 one or two of us chatting at the post-office, 
 that it was the minister's pocket was troub- 
 ling him. 
 
 " When that flashed across us, I gave a
 
 Going for a Soldier 149 
 
 wink to one or two and broached the 
 subject very delicately, saying, ' that as 
 Jimmy was so bad a kirk-goer the whole 
 matter was a secular one and quite a mis- 
 take on the part of the regiment to take it 
 as a religious affair.' 
 
 " Then I suggested that the minister had 
 nothing at all to do with it, but he would 
 nae have this. But I could see from the 
 relief on the man's face that he perceived 
 the drift of it. We all kenned, you see, 
 that he'd been saving desperate hard to get 
 another of his sons started in life. Man, I 
 wheeled him round gradual to our view of 
 it, making a parish affair of it, you see, 
 and it ended as we wanted it, or rather as 
 we didnae want it but were obliged to have 
 it, in the minister's consulting myself and 
 one or two others. 
 
 " And for the sake of the parish we had 
 to get up a most vexatious week-day 
 collection to buy back a daft lad they 
 wouldnae have in the regiment, by paying 
 his railway fare. There was a question of 
 sending myself to fetch him which I was 
 mercifully spared through the minister's 
 arranging he was to be put in the train at
 
 150 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 Glasgow with the guard to look after him. 
 Maybe MacCormochie explained the situa- 
 tion, for I must say the regimental folks 
 were apparently very attentive. We sent 
 a cart over the moor to fetch Jimmy 
 from the station ; a rare fuss about a lad 
 the parish was well rid of, and presently 
 he arrives standing up in the cart as 
 proud as Punch, instead of being humil- 
 iated, and waving his hands as though he'd 
 cost us naething and done something very 
 creditable. 
 
 " We have aye a fearsome time when 
 MacConnochie comes home in case Jimmy 
 is fired again with the regimental ardor, 
 but, maybe, he was quenched when he 
 found they didnae want him. He aye 
 talks of the time when ' he went for a 
 soldier,' notwithstanding, and the prayers 
 of the parish are universal that he may 
 never go again. He ( went ' but he didnae 
 1 get there' and we aye hope he'll rest con- 
 tent with that. 
 
 " The peculiar thing is," concluded 
 MacGregor, "how Jimmy of the Hills 
 scented out Glasgow and found his way 
 to the barracks. It seems to me to prove
 
 Going for a Soldier 151 
 
 that even dafties hae some kind of logic 
 about their misunderstandings. I could 
 have walked the distance myself in, maybe, 
 a half or a third the time, but it's fair 
 marvelous that Jimmy contrived the mat- 
 ter at all. 
 
 " I'm no so sure but that Jimmy deserves 
 just a shadow of credit for the endurance 
 of the thing and the power of the instinct 
 of the creature that got him to thae bar- 
 racks after all. 
 
 " When we come to consider, however, 
 what the Colonel, and the other officers 
 he seems to hae mixed with, thought of 
 him and how they appreciated his arrival 
 and general conduct whilst he was amongst 
 them 
 
 "Weel, I think it would be a kindness 
 both to Jimmy himself, and to the parish 
 that gie'd him birth, and to the folk in 
 particular who paid for his redemption in 
 gathering together his railway fare, just to 
 be discreet enough, if you've no objection 
 to draw a veil."
 
 CHAPTER XII 
 
 MACGEEGOK ON WHITING A BOOK 
 
 LIKE many another in impoverished 
 circumstances, the minister had a certain 
 secret in his bosom, which none but his 
 good wife knew. This secret had been in 
 existence many a year. 
 
 MacGregor, the elder, got mighty near 
 to finding it out one Saturday afternoon, 
 when he happened upon the minister away 
 up over the moor. 
 
 It was summer time, but the sun being 
 behind a cloud or two, the minister had 
 taken off his hat as he would often do, 
 and was carrying it in his hand, and there 
 was a dreamy look about him, as though 
 he were planning out some new points for 
 his sermon or combating something knotty 
 as he walked along. 
 
 MacGregor stood watching him as he 
 approached. 
 
 " Man," said the elder to himself, as the 
 minister neared him. " Man, I'm convinced 
 152
 
 On Writing a Book 153 
 
 of it. If any man can do it, yon minister 
 of ours is he. Ay ! and it would be noble 
 to attempt it, and, Lord bless me, if he 
 succeeded, the parish would be daft with 
 
 joy." 
 
 Presently the minister perceived his kirk 
 elder, and came directly towards him. 
 
 " A fine day," said the minister. 
 
 " It's all that," responded the elder, 
 " forbye a cloud or two up yonder which 
 we neednae complain about." 
 
 "No," said the minister. "Let us en- 
 joy the sunlight, MacGregor, and never 
 heed the clouds this morning." 
 
 " You appeared to be very thoughtful," 
 remarked the elder. "I'm wondering a 
 great thing ay ! and a noble thing, about 
 you. As you came over the moor yonder, 
 a queer and very exalted thought took me. 
 'Man,' I just said to myself, 'I'm con- 
 vinced that minister of ours could do what 
 I'm thinking.' " 
 
 " And what was that ? " laughed the 
 minister. 
 
 " Thinks I," said MacGregor, " he could 
 do it, but he's probably never thought of 
 it. We all ken he never did much at the
 
 i 94 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 College in Glasgow, and didnae shine very 
 greatly, but that's just the kind of man to 
 do it ; no a clever man, but a genius, and 
 there's a vast difference between the two." 
 
 The minister, who scarcely knew 
 whether this was complimentary or other- 
 wise, remained discreetly silent, the refer- 
 ence to his University career of years ago, 
 which the village knew to be " just moder- 
 ate," did not strike him as a very happy 
 one. 
 
 "~Weel," said MacGregor, "that was 
 what came over me, 'that's the kind of 
 man to do it.' " 
 
 " "What ? " asked the minister. 
 
 MacGregor looked him all over slowly 
 with a long, intense look, and then whis- 
 pered in that class of whisper which one 
 prints in capital letters : 
 
 "If I'm no mistaken you're just dull 
 enough and just clever enough, if some 
 kind friend gie'd you the hint to prove 
 yourself a genius and WRITE A BOOK." 
 
 The minister fell back a step, and grew 
 pale, but MacGregor instantly followed 
 up his advantage. 
 
 " And when you hae completed it, there's
 
 On Writing a Book 155 
 
 just one duty remaining, to remember the 
 individual who suggested the thing to you 
 on the moor, a kirk elder who wouldnae 
 just object to a dedication if such a thing 
 flashed across you." 
 
 At this the minister, whose secret long- 
 ing of years seemed to be suddenly bared 
 to the rude light of day, contrived to utter 
 that he would " take it into considera- 
 tion," but MacGregor was on the war-path. 
 
 "It will gie you," said the elder, "a 
 vast heap of consideration, you'll no re- 
 quire to put down the first or the second 
 word that comes into your cranium, no 
 nor the third or the fourth. Maybe you'll 
 hae to think of a dozen expressions before 
 you get the right one ; it's no just like 
 a sermon that you can dole out to us by 
 the yard, and that we're obliged to take 
 from you because we've no opportunity 
 to object. It's a question of more delicate 
 and solemn consideration ; but I believe, 
 nevertheless, you could do it." 
 
 The elder, naturally enough, imagined 
 that nothing more pleasing could pass 
 from his lips than the words he was now 
 uttering, but the minister took it queerly.
 
 156 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 I have since heard from MacGregor him- 
 self that " the man looked kind of withered 
 when I was talking to him, like a tree 
 struck by the storm ; the magnitude of nry 
 remarks were, maybe, too much for him." 
 
 Be this as it may, the minister remained 
 silent. 
 
 His kirk elder continued : 
 
 " If I may say a word as to the binding 
 of the book I'd have it green ; no the 
 kind of green that is sticky and comes off 
 on your hands when you hold it, but just 
 green dark for preference, and perma- 
 nent. Then, inside, before the reading 
 commences, I'd have a picture of yourself, 
 either at the manse or in the pulpit, and 
 maybe, a second smaller one of the man 
 the book's dedicated to it could be on 
 another page if you found it advisable. 
 It's merely a suggestion however. But the 
 'matter of the volume will take it out of 
 you. Your sermons wouldnae just do 
 it's no that they're not good enough ; but 
 in book form I dinna just think that folks 
 would care for them, and you want to 
 write a book to be proud of. I'm in favor 
 of something imaginary, if the dedicatee
 
 On Writing a Book 157 
 
 has any power of suggestion at the out- 
 start essays or such. I dinna think you'd 
 be capable of poetry, but I'm no sure. 
 Gosh ! minister, it will take a heap of work. 
 Maybe you'll have to be sequestrated for 
 months apart from us all in yon parlor of 
 yours. But the result will be beyond the 
 endeavor or I'm mistaken. It will be a 
 great book." 
 
 His listener now managed to get a word 
 in. 
 
 " Why not write the book yourself, Mac- 
 Gregor ? " said he, with a ghastly smile. 
 
 "No," replied the elder, "it wouldnae 
 do. Folks ken the kind of man I am. I'm 
 either medium in my conversation or bril- 
 liant. No one wants medium things in any 
 book, and it would trouble me to be bril- 
 liant for very long together. If I wrote a 
 book I'm no saying it wouldnae be a clever 
 book ; it would be all that ; but I think, 
 minister, though maybe it will bother you 
 to do it, you could beat it. Besides, I'm 
 no great speller. 
 
 " You'll find it easy enough," he contin- 
 ued, " to go on with the thing, once it's 
 started. For instance, if your opening re-
 
 158 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 mark is of this nature : ' The snow was on 
 the ground,' there's a heap of qualifications 
 to follow immediately after. Was the 
 snow dirty or was it clean, or was it deep 
 or just a sprinkling ? Then, when you've 
 done with the snow, there's the ground, 
 was it clay or what? and so on. But 
 you're used to making heads for your ser- 
 mons. I'd pursue the same tactics a lot 
 of words round a single idea, choosing good 
 words, mind you, perhaps with more care 
 than with a sermon, and getting a fine root 
 idea to start on in the first place for devel- 
 oping. Folks write such a heap of trash 
 now. I'm convinced there's a chance for 
 you, minister, if you'd only try." 
 
 " MacGregor," said the minister, " are 
 you intending to be humorsome ?" and he 
 looked at the elder curiously. 
 
 " Humorsome ! " cried that worthy indig- 
 nantly. "No; likely I hae promulgated 
 my ideas upon humor before now. This 
 book of yours is one of the most serious 
 considerations I ever met." 
 
 " Then," said the minister, " pray say no 
 more about it till the book's done," and 
 with that he left the elder, " with a kind
 
 On Writing a Book 159 
 
 of frigidity about him," as MacGregor ex- 
 pressed it, " and no thanks for the sugges- 
 tion at all." 
 
 The minister went very thoughtfully 
 home. " What my parish expect of me," 
 he said to himself, " that must I do," and 
 his mind went back to many a silent hour 
 spread over years now behind him, when 
 he had sat in the manse parlor with the 
 wrong end of a quill pen in his mouth nib- 
 bling at it till the inspiration should come. 
 There was such a lot of nibbling in pro- 
 portion to the inspiration, but he flattered 
 himself that there were a few golden 
 thoughts amongst the sheets, which now 
 lay within the second topmost drawer in 
 his desk, nearly ready for the publishing. 
 
 It was hard lack though, when one came 
 to think of it, if MacGregor's name was to 
 appear in the dedication through his sug- 
 gesting the business when it was already 
 practically completed. He had intended 
 to reserve this dedication for his wife. In 
 fact, he. was not yet quite certain whether 
 MacGregor, or no MacGregor he would 
 not do so still. 
 
 In this mood he went home.
 
 160 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 Three weeks, or maybe four weeks later, 
 a somewhat bulky parcel was despatched 
 to Edinburgh by rail. 
 
 Contrary to usual custom the manuscript 
 was intelligently read, and in defiance of 
 all accepted theories regarding the difficul- 
 ties of a literary career, it was immediately 
 accepted upon condition that the minister 
 paid a mere bagatelle to cover the pub- 
 lishing. 
 
 When he received the letter containing 
 this news, his secret flashed over the vil- 
 lage like summer lightning. 
 
 "If," said he to his wife, "if we starve 
 all winter because of the payment I have 
 to make to this man, taking, as it does, the 
 hard earnings of long years, this book shall 
 go forth to be read by men." 
 
 Folks with more experience would, 
 maybe, have cried out to the man, " Stop," 
 if they had seen him standing yonder in 
 the manse parlor, white haired, and worn 
 with the long patience of life ; but with a 
 new glory of hope come to him in his au- 
 tumn days. 
 
 But they would, for once in a way, have 
 been wrong over it, for the book was a
 
 On Writing a Book 161 
 
 success. In fact he made two pounds over 
 the venture before the accounts were finally 
 closed, and had all his own money back, 
 too, within six years. 
 
 As for the dedication, that now became 
 a really serious consideration, for directly 
 the elder heard of the volume's acceptance, 
 he, so to speak, clinched matters and as- 
 sumed the dedication, and the minister did 
 not like to offend him. 
 
 On the one hand he wished to gratify 
 his wife, but on the other his kirk elder 
 had grown very keen about it. 
 
 At first he thought of combining put- 
 ting the words: "To my dear wife" on 
 one line, and " To my elder, MacGregor," 
 on another line beneath it, but he feared 
 both parties might object to this. 
 
 Then he thought of writing, "To my 
 helpmeet and dear wife, with whose name 
 I venture to couple my kirk elder, Mac- 
 Gregor," but the wording did not seem 
 very happy or to express exactly what was 
 wanted. 
 
 "What the minister wished to say was, 
 " By my own wish I dedicate this book to 
 my wife. By MacGregor's wish, and for
 
 162 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 the sake of courtesy and peace in the 
 parish, and because the man suggested it 
 when it was completed, I dedicate it to him." 
 
 The minister meant to be quite fair 
 about it, but he also wanted his congrega- 
 tion to read the book, which he intended 
 to lend to them, one after the other and 
 if the elder, being deprived of his dedica- 
 tion, were to drop a hint to Mistress 
 Mackie at the post-office and to one or t\vo 
 others that "the book is no just altogether 
 what our minister might have done," or, 
 "Weel, I'll say nothing about the min- 
 ister's book," or " Hoots, it might have 
 been better " that would mean, that as 
 far as the parish was concerned, it would 
 have been better unwritten. 
 
 And to be a prophet in one's own coun- 
 try is a great thing for a minister. 
 
 Taking one thing with the other, he 
 now blamed himself very greatly for keep- 
 ing the matter secret whilst he was at it. 
 If he had publicly announced, " I am 
 writing a book," this vexatious question of 
 a dedication to MacGregor would never 
 have crept in at all. 
 
 It was a difficult problem.
 
 On Writing a Book 163 
 
 "When they met nowadays, MacGregor 
 would ask, "Well, minister, is our book 
 getting near to it ? It will be a proud 
 day for both the suggestor and the writer 
 when it gets afloat." And the minister 
 would perspire, but lack the nerve to 
 speak what was in his mind. 
 
 He had not the courage to say, "The 
 book's my wife's." 
 
 One long sleepless night, when his wife 
 had just been complaining that he was 
 tossing overmuch, and that she would like 
 a new pillow or two for the beds when the 
 book was out, the injustice of the whole 
 thing struck the minister suddenly in a 
 new and forcible manner. 
 
 He saw, as if a veil were dropped, back 
 over the past months and years of his 
 toil ; his hopes and fears for his volume 
 came back to him ; he, again, as he had so 
 often done, pictured to himself the final 
 hour of triumph when he would come 
 into the manse parlor and say : 
 
 " Wife, maybe I toss at nights there is 
 something to make up for it the cause of 
 it your book open it," and she would do 
 so, and see her name.
 
 164 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 And now here was MacGregor, a party 
 to whom it did not matter whether the 
 minister tossed at nights or lay still, a 
 man, in fact, who had no concern with the 
 affair at all ! 
 
 In the gray dawn he took a mighty 
 resolution. It was his only sin in a long 
 lifetime and being unaccustomed to crime 
 he went about at it so innocently that 
 maybe folks will forgive it when I come 
 to tell it. 
 
 Meantime, as the days went by, local 
 affairs began to hang almost entirely upon 
 the minister's book. MacGregor, in con- 
 sequence of his share in the enterprise, 
 worked this with the aid of Mistress 
 Mackie so that, if any one mentioned an 
 event likely to take place in August, some- 
 one would immediately put in, " Before 
 the minister's book's published," or if one 
 referred to Hallowe'en it would at once 
 come from somebody in the company, 
 " We'll have the minister's book before." 
 In fact, one could not ask a question or re- 
 ceive an answer without some reference to 
 the book. 
 
 MacGregor kept this fashion alive.
 
 On Writing a Book 165 
 
 It was consequently a great day when 
 Mistress Mackie let out that there had 
 been a post card to the manse to the effect 
 that the book was coming to the distant 
 railway station by train, and when the 
 minister presently drove through the vil- 
 lage in Farmer Grierson's cart, accom- 
 panied by MacGregor and daft Jimmy of 
 the Hills, every one knew what he was 
 after. 
 
 It was whispered about, " The book's 
 come." 
 
 I have been told that the minister looked 
 into one or two of the copies very cau- 
 tiously when he opened the parcel, and 
 that there was some little hesitation as 
 though he were choosing a specially clean 
 and unsoiled copy, before he handed one of 
 the volumes to his elder with the remark : 
 
 " MacGregor, that's yours." 
 
 Little did he think what was to happen 
 upon the morrow. 
 
 MacGregor, having driven the minister 
 and the other volumes home to the manse, 
 straightway, and in all the pride of 
 "dedicatee," took his book to the post- 
 office and prevailed upon Mistress Mackie
 
 166 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 to give the folk a sight of the much 
 talked of volume by exposing it for a 
 day or two amongst the buttons and 
 sweeties and other details in the post 
 office window. 
 
 A paper bearing the words, " The min- 
 ister's latest book " ( as though he had 
 written hundreds before) was stuck above 
 it, and the book was opened at the page 
 which bore the magic words : 
 
 " Dedicated to my elder and friend, G. 
 MacGregor." 
 
 Now the minister had naturally con- 
 cluded that MacGregor's copy would be the 
 one which would be loaned about the 
 place, and that there was little likelihood 
 of any one in the village buying another. 
 
 But he had not expected it to be stuck 
 up in the post-office window, nor that his 
 wife would hear of his trifling subterfuge. 
 
 But the ways of Providence are exceed- 
 ing strange. 
 
 Nothing, for instance, was more remark- 
 able than that his wife, flushed with pride 
 of the present from her lord and master, 
 should at once conceive a desire to write 
 to her son who was abroad sailoring, to
 
 On Writing a Book 167 
 
 tell him that his father's book held within 
 its dark green covers a page (the proudest, 
 surely, in the volume) on which stood forth 
 the lines : 
 
 "Dedicated to my dear helpmeet of 
 many years my beloved wife." 
 
 To write to the sailor required a stamp. 
 To buy stamps one usually goes to the 
 post-office. Hence, the minister's wife 
 stepped down to Mistress Mackie's. 
 
 There was quite a crowd gathered by 
 the post-office as she approached it, and 
 Jimmy of the Hills was gabbling to the 
 folk of how the postmistress had told him 
 the book was "full of writings like ser- 
 mons," but that they " werenae just exactly 
 sermons, but better." 
 
 MacGregor, the hero of the hour, was 
 inside the shop talking to Mistress Mackie. 
 
 The minister's wife inquired what was 
 the matter, and some one told her folks 
 were just having a look at the new book 
 which Mistress Mackie had kindly placed 
 for their benefit in her window. And 
 some one said that MacGregor must be a 
 proud man, which puzzled her till she got 
 nearer and saw the reason.
 
 168 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 They say she simply gave one long and 
 very deep gasp, " as though she had been 
 under water a long time and didnae like 
 it," but never a word did she speak, and 
 she was quite civil in the shop to Mac- 
 Gregor who was lounging against the 
 counter in all his glory. 
 
 And she posted her letter to her son just 
 as if nothing had happened. 
 
 Then she went home to the manse. 
 
 Nobody noticed that as she passed him 
 she whispered to daft Jimmy of the Hills, 
 " Come up to the kitchen door, I'm baking." 
 
 Towards evening, near the time of clos- 
 ing the post-office, it was noticeable that 
 Jimmy of the Hills became very trouble- 
 some in the shop, ever getting in Mistress 
 Mackie's way, and once, when she had gone 
 into her room at the back and returned 
 therefrom, she found him on prohibited 
 ground, that is to say, behind the counter. 
 
 She thought he was after some sweeties, 
 but Jimmy was at far darker work. 
 
 When the morning dawned again, and 
 when one or two folk had looked at the 
 minister's book in the window again as 
 they passed the shop, it did not take long
 
 On Writing a Book 169 
 
 ere it became known that something had 
 happened during the night, maybe a page 
 or two turned, for MacGregor's dedication 
 had disappeared and instead of it was the 
 one to the minister's wife. 
 
 It was puzzling, and it distressed Mac- 
 Gregor very much when he came upon it. 
 The book was the same, for he had it out 
 of the window in a trivet, and he and Mis- 
 tress Mackie looked over it very carefully. 
 
 It was indeed a sore blow. 
 
 Yesterday, he had been glorified, to-day, 
 he was mere clay. 
 
 " Man, I wondered if I had been dream- 
 ing," is the way the elder puts it. " I was- 
 nae very proud of myself yon morning. 
 Being a wee bit up in the folks' estimation 
 one day and down the next, was neither 
 very pleasant nor very consoling. I went 
 at once to the manse carrying the volume. 
 But the minister was engaged, a thing I'd 
 never known before. The lassie they had 
 to do the housework said he hadnae had a 
 good night, been sleepless or something, 
 doubtless from the excitement of being 
 writer of a published book. I bid her go 
 in again and say that my communication
 
 170 The Elder MacGregor 
 
 was important, but he was deeper engaged 
 than ever. I remember being greatly 
 puzzled. Later in the day, Andy, the kirk 
 precentor, came down to see me in my 
 shame, and, says he, 'MacGregor, I'm a 
 depitation from the rnanse ; you've been 
 over hard upon the minister and he does- 
 nae like it.' 
 
 " And he told me to my surprise that the 
 man had fancied it was in his power to 
 dedicate yon book to half a dozen different 
 folk if he wanted one to one person, 
 another to another, but for his own choice 
 the bulk of them to his wife. 
 
 " ' But,' said Andy, ' his wife doesnae like 
 it, and I'm here to ask you to be merciful.' 
 
 ""Weel, I'm clever at times just see 
 through things at a glance no like other 
 folks a kind of special gift like second 
 sight, and I just saw the whole matter like 
 a map as Andy spoke to me. There had 
 apparently been two books, although they 
 were the same, and two dedicatees, and I 
 could understand in a moment why he was 
 engaged when I went up to see him, and 
 the kind of night it was likely he had 
 passed. I'm no a married man, but I
 
 On Writing a Book 171 
 
 could imagine it, so I just looked straight 
 at Andy and said, ' You can tell the minis- 
 ter I'll be at the kirk plate as usual on 
 Sabbath, but it's maybe as well we should- 
 nae meet during the week. I hae a con- 
 science myself, and at this special juncture 
 I wouldnae like it to be his. Neither 
 would I care to stand in the shoes he's 
 wearing, nor to lie in his bed, nor to ken for 
 the meantime what the inside of a manse 
 is like. And you may add,' I said, * these 
 words, Minister, as you have an immortal 
 soul which has been shown by your writing 
 a book at all, you kind of owe a duty to a 
 man I'll no name, who is a kirk elder, and 
 whom you've humbled, and that is to men- 
 tion the matter from the pulpit, maybe ex- 
 pressing your great esteem for the man 
 we're thinking of, and to take for your 
 text next Sabbath the words, " My sin has 
 found me out." ' 
 
 "Weel, he preached that sermon and, 
 man, it was a grand one, but his wife was- 
 nae in the kirk that morning to hear it ; 
 I've never kenned why." 
 
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