THE LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LOS ANGELES » 9 IN HOURS OF LEISURE <^ *.!>.&*& to 7 ST*. /7? . (J. /?■> . %fy /try '<■ f^^t^cA tf Shall I not therefore love my humble Muse ? For such the work she wrought in me that day : And such the work she oftentimes hath wrought. Many the weary hour that she has cheered : Many the pain her songs have lulled to sleep, Or brought me strength to bear : and many, too, The Beauty she has nursed, and brought to sight, The Evil she has robbed of Victory. Between the woods and water meadowland The sloping fields were golden-gray with wheat : And one was scarlet with the poppy blooms. The hills above the woods rose into downs, With here and there a gleam of silvery chalk, A clump of firs, a zigzag clambering path. THE FRIENDS. 53 Far down the valley, hazy with the heat, A line of poplars rose beyond the bridge That winds, with quaint uneven arch and curve, Across the broad and shallow river-bed. Even the farthest hills were pencilled clear : But faint in depths of sunlit atmosphere. The air blew on my face, fulfilled with scent ; Remembrances of rose and mignonette, With messages from clover fields abloom. In those sweet wafts of spice I seemed to taste The breath of zones that lie beneath the sun, And strange impressions I had never felt Of scenes and countries I had never seen, Rose on me like forgotten memories. Faint bleatings came from off the meadowlands. Jetty, the cow, went wading through the pool : Whilst underneath the ample spreading elms The sheep were gathered, screened from noontide heat. A flying, twittering band of swallows came, Skimmed past the window toward the o'erhanging eaves, And thereon held a moment's parliament. The cuckoo knew its latest day had come, And told its name once more to all the hills. The blackcap whistled loud in neighbouring copse, 54 THE FRIENDS. And drowsy answers from the dovecot near, Soothed all the air with cooing lullabies. An unseen world was my real world that day; — The spirit-world that we call Memory, — As real a world as Love, or Faith, or Hope ! I journeyed far in thought : and heard and saw : And lived in everything I saw and heard : — And came home richer, ay, and happiet too ! • Home ? To myself, my chair, this room, the hour ! These were the home to which myself came back — From journeying, whither ? It seems hard to tell. Say — in the world that lies within us all. Within us, and around us, everywhere. Life is so busy nowadays, things seen Are so imperious in their thousand claims, We seldom take these journeys. Well, perhaps, So best. A question. Some might say 'twere time Wasted, to take these unseen journeyings. If so, I always "wasted time," I fear; And even think that " wasted time " well spent. The gain to me was often definite ; Intangible, and hard to put in words ; Only to be translated into life THE FRIENDS. 55 And living : — but, when once translated thus, Discernible and sensible to all. Yes : just those " wasted " times are now to me The only life I have : and from their work My present life is made. For what the world Calls life is closed to me. This room were it Save for that unseen world of which I speak. But now the room seems wide as any world, And I live in it, happy and content. Nay : I am bold to fancy, on that day, I, lying dreaming on my sofa here, Did more, and gained more positive reward, Than some that found a task for every hour, Or on whose books the day filled many a line. There's self-conceit ! At least 'tis evident The good I brought back from my unseen world That I belaud so lustily, possessed A saving grace of human vanity. The sun was shining. Out I went in thought, And wandered through a hundred pleasant scenes. I half-believe that Fairies (for, you know, I always did my best to keep their haunts Undesecrated) came to me that day, 56 THE FRIENDS. And conjured up these well-beloved scenes. My words would do them wrong, and blurr their truth. Go out into the garden, down the lane, Across the hill, by river, wood, and field. The scenes will not be clearer to your eyes Than were their shadows unto me that day. One only will I tell you of: — the names Alone will paint the scene to you — Lac Leman, and the slopes above En Caux ! » Ah ! you remember it as well as I. Some days are festas in our lives — bright days, Mostly unheralded : — and that was one. You know the scene so well ! better than I : I often see it in remembrance. And once whilst lying on that mountain side, In thought, I put remembrance into words : — Oh the lovely light that lay On the mountains far away, That delicious summer day ! When we rested from the heat In the pinewood, cool and sweet ; Whilst the world lay at our feet. THE FRIENDS. 57 Butterflies, with colours pied On their gorgeous wings spread wide, Came sailing down the mountain side. In a wood-trough, quaint and old, Water, crystal-clear and cold, Dripped through mosses green and gold. Then we left the arching trees, Coming out on terraces Starred with lilac crocuses. Still we climbed on, up to where, From the open hillside bare, Came the wine-like mountain air. Silent ! nothing could be heard ; Not the song of any bird ; Not the sound of aught that stirred ; Save the murmur, soft and sweet, Born of life and noontide heat 'Mong the grasses at our feet ; 58 THE FRIENDS. And the cow-bells, far away, Tinkling from the fields that lay On the lower slopes of Naye. Silence, ample and intense, Filled the heart and every sense With a natural reverence. There, upon the flowery gras\, Down we lay : and never was Hour that did so quickly pass. High above the world we seemed ; Over us the white clouds dreamed : Far below the blue lake gleamed. Mile on mile, it stretched away From the Jura's sunlit gray, To the woods of Bouveret. Glittering like a silver throne, High the Dent du Midi shone O'er the Valley of the Rhone. THE FRIENDS. 59 Very faint and far below, Rose the poplars, row on row Where the water-lilies grow. Tiny wings upon the lake, Sails of barques the light would take : Long lines curving in their wake. Every moment wonder grew : Every moment beauties new Seemed to rise upon our view. And our hearts as we lay there Were as free from stain of care As the stainless summer air. And we vowed nor pain nor change Ever should our hearts estrange, Whereso'er our paths might range. Earth such youth and freshness wore, Seemed as though the vow we swore Never had been vowed before : 60 THE FRIENDS. Seemed as though a vow so sweet, Made in time and place so meet, Could not ever know defeat. But the bright hours would not stay : That sweet happy summer day Passed with all good things away. Yet it left a memory Which Time cannot teach to fly, Which will never pass us by. And a lovelier spirit-light Than mere sunshine, howe'er bright, Makes it holy in our sight. Yes : makes it holy, for such hours are blest. The consecration of a perfect joy Doth rest upon them, setting them apart. Many and bright the scenes I saw that day : And found in all the joy of very life. — Moorland and meadow ; lane and sandy beach ; The perfumed forests of the Haute Savoie ; The chalet where we spent those happy weeks THE FRIENDS. 61 Beneath the Jiingfrau's crown of virgin snow ; Sweet Maggiore sleeping in the light ; Dalhousie's woods ; and Clifton's hawthorn groves ; An orchard on the hillside, looking down, Through apple-boughs thickset with golden fruit, At silvery surf that ripples on the beach A hundred feet below us— and the Bay Curving, with richly-wooded cliffs and coombes, Away to red-rocked Portledge, and the Bar, And Exmoor melting in the summer clouds. I will not weary you by telling more Of what I saw or where I went that day, In thought : or with how real an eye I seemed to see the scenes of memory. So passed the morning light to afternoon. Then whilst I read the perfect verse that tells Of that poor " Scholar Gypsy " — poem beloved !- — Where Oxford, like a spiritual Thebes, Builds itself up upon a poet's song, — I heard a footstep more than song to me, — A footstep that I little dreamed to hear, Thinking the foot was many miles away— And you came in — welcome as Health itself! Then, with surprise and pleasure, how you came, 62 THE FRIENDS. And why, where you had been, and whom had seen, With frequent question met by swift reply ; And all the joy of friends who meet again After long absence marked by many a change, To find their love unchanged amid it all, The hour of sunset came ere we had ceased To feel the wonder of the clasping hand. My life has moved in very narrow grooves. As I review it, lying passive here, It seems, by turns, pathetic, or to touch On something almost humorous — 'tis so small ! There's many a boy who has not left his teens Is older far than I, and takes his place — And is allowed it — in the world : whilst I, At thirty, seem a sort of grown-up child, Who has his toys, and lives a little life That does not fit the fashion of the world. Oh ! I assure you I am much amused To look, as an observer, at myself. And I can add up all that I am worth, Subtract, divide, and give you the result With an exactness that is excellent. I think too much about myself? No doubt. THE FRIENDS. 63 In that at least I fit the world to-day. We modern folk are students of ourselves. We like to know our mind's anatomy : Or better still, anatomise our friends ! Some that I know would almost like to ascribe A motive to the sun for shining so : But it is true, I'm quite ashamed to own How much I find I interest myself ! Well, those I love seem vital parts of Me, And so the interest is not wholly Self. What's that you hold ? a bit of sweet wild-thyme. Ah ! what an eloquence of memory A scent possesses ! Dreams of boyhood come. The scent fumes up with penetrating breath Into dark secret cells about the brain That only scent or sound can ever reach. I seem again to climb with boyish zest About the ruin yonder on the hill. We talk of high adventure, wondrous deeds, Of Grecian heroes, Middle Age romance, Strange tales of magic, and Arabian Nights. Anon we paddle, bare-legged, in the stream, Declare the pine trees overhead are palms, And call our schoolboy jackets coats of mail : 64 THE FRIENDS. Or you insist on being Inca-King, And making me Pizarro 'gainst my will : Whilst each of us in turn, from time to time, Suggests a speech to fit the other's part, Where history finds an unexpected turn. I'll shut my eyes, and dream we're boys again : The almost godlike joy of early youth Steals o'er my spirit : let me clasp your hand. Now, go — and sing that song to me — you know — The one I wrote when you were going away. The times are changed, and we with them indeed ! But ah ! thank God, our love is not. But sing. Change is for ever working round us here, With hill and vale, with river, shore, and tree : Nothing that is but unto Change doth veer, But still, dear Friend, remain thou true to me : — Unchanged in constant Change, be true to me. The sky is mutable with light and shade ; A restless heart is beating in the sea : » THE FRIENDS. 65 But though all things from what they be should fade, Still, still, I plead, remain thou true to me. Unchanged in constant Change, be true to me. Man's hopes and customs change with every clime ; To altered Faiths each Age doth bow the knee : But Love's the same for all and every time, And, in its name, remain thou true to me : Unchanged in constant Change, be true to me. FAITHFUL UNTO DEATH. . (Written for Recitation.) The following lines were written for recitation on an incident of the Russian campaign under Napoleoij in the winter of 1 812. The young Prince Emilius, of Hesse Darm- stadt, was one of Napoleon's allies, and had led to the field in his service a thousand of his own men. After the burning of Moscow he shared in the terrible retreat. Pursued by the Russians, they marched for days through the snow-drifted forests and plains, until of the thousand men ten alone remained. These lines are supposed to take up the story after the men have been wandering for days in the snow. Lord Houghton (whose beautiful verses on this subject are well known, but which do not lend themselves to the requirements of the reciter) gave me the facts of the story, having heard them, when a young man, from the lips of Prince Emilius himself. On in the snow — on in the snow — Blinded and numbed, the soldiers go. With footfall silenter than theirs Death dogs their steps : and, unawares, FAITHFUL UNTO DEATH. 67 Strikes down his victims one by one, Pursuit is distanced : doom begun. Frost-bitten fingers, stiff with cold, Seem frozen to the gun they hold. The icicles hang on beard and hair ; The breath like smoke goes out in the air : Till reason and thought begin to wane, And only the dull, blind sense of pain, And the instinct of Duty till Death, remain. On in the snow — on in the snow — The cruel, drifting, deadly snow, — They march in silence, with muffled tread : Till one of them stumbles, — and drops behind, dead ! And the others shudder, and glance around — For they hear, growing nearer, an ominous sound In the woods — the dismal howl Of the wolves that after them stealthily prowl. By open waste : — by dreary wood : — By rivers black and frozen flood — On in the snow — on in the snow — Ever, with thinning ranks, they go. The Prince Emilius looked on his band, And his heart seemed like to break. 68 FAITHFUL UNTO DEATH. These were the men, who, for his sake, Had left their Fatherland, A thousand men in all, To follow his bugle-call, Three months before ! — a thousand men : — And of that thousand now he counted ten ! " Halt !" cried the Prince. The spectral band Stood still, awaiting his command. With tight-clenched hands Emilius stood. Far off, a wolf howled in the wood : And one lad, leaning on his comrade's arm, Cried out he saw his home — the farm — The sunny hill-slope, clothed with vine — And heard the murmur of the Rhine ! He called his sweetheart's name, and then Fell prone. And, looking on his men, The Prince said, — " It is best we face The truth. We shall not leave this place. The end has come. God knoweth best. To live we must have rest : — to rest Is death. Together let us die. See ! yonder empty hut close by : — Thither let us repair — and sleep. FAITHFUL UNTO DEATH. 69 Our slumber will be long and deep ! 'Tis worse than useless, further strife ! You well have borne your part in life : Bear it in death as well. On high Perchance I'll rise to testify To your unflinching loyalty. My brothers ! though we lay us down Defeated, and without renown, There we shall wear the Victor's crown." Silent they stood, and silently they heard, They could not answer : none could speak a word. But when, " Is it agreed ?" Emilius said, Each man looked up at him, and bowed the head. Then Prince Emilius went to every man, Slim youth, or stern-browed veteran, And kissed him, holding fast his hand : He dared not speak lest he should be unmanned. So, moving toward the hut, he pushed the door Open ; then looking on them all once more, He flung himself upon the cold earth floor. He heard the soldiers pause outside the hut, — They came in slowly, — then the door was shut — And all grew still and dark as death. 70 FAITHFUL UXTO DEATH. Soon as they heard the deep-drawn breath Which told them Prince Emilius slept (For they a wakeful watch had kept), They all rose up, and softly crept Up toward the sleeping man. For even in the moment's span Ere they came in, they'd laid their plan In hurried whispers. Each began To strip off coat and cloak : this don^, They placed them lightly, one by one, Upon the young Prince lying there. They shivered in the icy air ; But round and over him they laid Their own warm clothes until they made A covering that might frost defy. Then they crept out, all silently : And, in the snow, beneath that freezing sky, — Some, hand in hand, — all clustered near the door — They laid them down, and slept — to wake no more. The long, still hours of sleep, Silence, and darkness deep, Seemed frozen into endless night. Over the sky a cold, sad light FAITHFUL UNTO DEATH. 71 Had turned the world to death-like gray, When the Prince woke. Another day ! Is it a dream ? he looks around. Alone ! — He calls : — no answer — not a sound ! How has he lived through all the night ? And how withstood the deadly blight Of frost as he lay there asleep. What's this ? He lies beneath a heap Of cloaks and coats ! In heart and limb He feels new life. His senses swim, — A sudden light breaks in on him ; He struggles up from off the floor ; He staggers quickly toward the door — He bursts it open — rushes out — and lo ! The men, half naked, in the shroud-like snow. In one swift glance he reads the truth, and then The cry goes up, — " My men ! my faithful men !" Faithful, and not in vain ! As if their thought Its own fulfilment wrought By sheer intensity and strength, The rescue came at length. French soldiers, ere the hour was gone, Came past, and with them he went on. 72 FAITHFUL UNTO DEATH. For him thus saved the years to come Brought light and honour without stain ; And shouts of welcome brought him home In triumph to his own again. Yet oft, in golden summer-time, In his own Rhineland, when his ears Would catch the well-remembered chime Of bells he knew in boyhood's yeare : Or from the hillside, clothed with vine, He saw afar the sunlight shine Upon the waters of the Rhine ; His eyes would fill with sudden tears, And he would see that hut that stood Deep in the rugged Russian wood ; And, by the hut One, all in white, Upon whose brows an aureole light Would from the skies descend ; Who slowly o'er the earth would bend, And write upon the shroud-like snow : — " For greater love no man can show Than lay his life down for his friend" A FAREWELL. (For Recitation with Music.) Here, where a fear ago we met, Good-bye ! Strange — that we part upon the very place, Where, gazing on you, passionate and shy, I thought that Life looked at me through your face. ■ How I recall the ball-room's brilliant scene ! Glitter of lights : the air with flowers made sweet : The jewelled crowd 'mong which you moved, a queen : The pulse and rhythm of the dancing feet. The memory of a valse is with me yet. It teaches me — though how I scarce can say — The meaning of that strange, intense regret That underlies a valse, however gay. 74 A FAREWELL. You smiled, unconscious of the flash that burst From out that smile, and set my heart aglow : And still you smile, serenely, as at first : — What shall I say ? — are you unconscious now ? I know that I have built Love's prison well : But has sometimes no smothered song or cry From Love, who maddened in his silent ..cell, Struck on your ears as you were passing* by ? When we have laughed, I think you must have heard The sob that spoke of underlying tears. And surely in the lightly-spoken word You caught a meaning, not for other ears. But you did not ! — you did not ! Is it so ? Well, well : if men will dream vain dreams, they must. But it seems piteous we so seldom know The Dead Sea apples till they turn to dust. Now, in your queenly way, you cross the room, To wish good fortune may my steps attend ! A year ago my heart burst into bloom At that sweet voice : — and now ! is this the end ? A FAREWELL. 75 " Yes : it was bright, that night a year ago. Do I remember it ? — what need to tell ? What a good valse we had that evening ! — So, You'll not return for years? Good-bye — Farewell." Ah, you sweep on ! and with the farewell breath You bandy words of courteous commonplace ! Well : now I know it was not Life, 'twas Death That looked that night upon me through your face. Death, said I ? do I talk of dying then ? Folks do not die so. Oh no, I shall live : Life's not the only thing in mortal men That has the gift of Death. " Hie jacets " give A record of our last mortality : But all those unseen, unembodied things That make life life, ah, these may die, And we live on : and who their requiem sings ? Ho ! Life and Death set to a valse tune ! — Yes : Smiles, we have oft been told, can rival sighs : The thought is threadbare : true, though, none the less. There is a touch of death in all good-byes. 76 A FAREWELL. How you would laugh such "sentiment" to scorn. I do not so : believing, without doubt, The things that move our lives are sometimes born From that same sentiment which you would flout. The hardest, dullest life, if bared to light, Would show strange dramas : and would have to own Its roots, perhaps, lay deep, far out of sight, In hopes and memories known to it alohe. Years hence, I dare say, none will guess or know The last year's history, its hopes and fears : The first line that is traced upon the brow Makes little difference in a few short years ! Such lines are but dead Hope's faint signatures : No one can read them — scarcely we ourselves ! But those writ by a hand as soft as yours Hurt more than those which ruthless Nature delves. A wise man said he knew no sadder sight Than a child crying o'er its broken toy. A love dream : — is it not a thing as slight As any plaything made for childhood's joy ? A FAREWELL. 77 A poor toy, broken by a touch too rough ! A valse tune fits such childish woes to tell. So — let it speak. Its pathos is enough. It sang our Greeting : now it breathes Farewell. A LEGEND OF CHERTSEY. (Written for Recitation.) In the days before the king had come again to take his own, When the iron will of Cromwell filled the nation's empty throne, One bright summer evening, — so the story runs, — in Chertsey town, As the sun in clouds of glory through the west was sinking down, There were standing by the churchyard gate an old man, bowed with care ; By his side a girl — the gold of sunset lighting up her hair. " Master Noel," she was saying, " ah, you know as well as I, Martin Riversdale, my lover, he to-night is doomed to die ! A LEGEND OF CHEKTSEY. 79 Doomed to die to-night, at sunset, when the curfew bell is heard : Cromwell's coming — he might stop the fatal sentence with one word. But he may not come till after they have fired the fatal shot. Curfew is the signal. Listen : — ah ! for pity, ring it not ! Wait at least a little : give us time — time till the General come. See, the people gathering yonder : — hark ! I hear the muffled drum. Wait — delay ! and I will bless you with my latest, dying breath : Every moment that we gain is weighted now with life and death." Then the sexton answered, sadly : " Ah ! you know not what you ask. For these forty years to ring that curfew bell hath been my task. Not a single night I've missed in all these strange, eventful times. Still my life hath wrought its fashion to that tower and to those chimes. 80 A LEGEND OF CHERTSEY. I have known you from a child, dear : you and Martin : loved you too : But a duty lies before me, and that duty I must do. I am deaf, and old, and broken ; and the sadder for this day : I can scarcely hear your words, dear, but I know what you would say. Let me face my duty bravely — face it — whatsoe'er it be ! Go, my child : no, leave me. — In this I a%i worse than deaf to thee." Silent stands the girl : the sunset hides the pallor of her brow. In her heart, heroic purpose quickens into action now. In the morning she had heard the Judge the fatal sentence pass : — " Martin Riversdale, 'tis proven that you worshipped at High Mass, Held at daybreak on the Lord's Day, in the Chapel of the Hall :— You refuse the names of those then present — popish traitors all ! Wherefore this the sentence is— that, when the curfew bell shall toll, A LEGEND OF CHERTSEY. Si You be shot to-night, at sunset. — Heaven have mercy on your soul." And she left the courthouse calmly, but with face a deadly white : And she heard the townsfolk saying, '•' Martin will be shot to-night, When they ring the bell at sundown," and had kept a silent tongue : For her heart was whispering, " Courage ! and that bell shall not be rung !" She remembered how, in childhood, she and Martin oftentimes Had climbed up the old, dark belfry, and had watched the ringing chimes : For they loved the good old sexton, and he often let them play Up and down the quaint old belfry, with its stairways dark and gray. Well she knew their every turning, to the topmost dizzy stair : Often she had climbed to gather wild flowers that had rooted there. G 82 A LEGEND OF CHERTSEY. Now, in these faint, childish memories she a hope of rescue saw : Desperate ! but at such a desperate time she clung to it the more. "Go, my child," the old man said. "Ah! would that I could give you strength. Though the day be ne'er so long it rings, to evensong at length. Go, and pray : and close your ears, lest you should hear the fatal bell, And the volley that will echo it, with fiercer, deadlier knell. You and he have often played about my knees, ah ! woe's the day ! Helped me open yonder door ; cheered me with your childish play ! Would that I had died before, and ne'er had seen this morning's light ! I will lift my heart in prayer the while I ring that bell to-night." Then she left him : for a moment hid — then darted toward the door : A LEGEND OF CHERTSEY. 83 Slid the bolt, and entered ; she had loosed the wooden bar before. Like a ghost on the dark stairway, but with heart with love made bold, Up she mounts, past lancet windows, by the stairs she knew of old. On and upward — on and upward : in the darkness — not a sound ! Higher — higher : dusty arches — slippery stairways, round and round ! On she presses — on and upward — till she sees a ray of light- Struggles on another moment, and then gains the top- most height. Through the windows of the belfry she can see the town below ; — Houses, meadows, winding river, and the sunset's crimson glow : — On the buttress grows the wild flower : in a high and dark recess Hangs the fatal bell that soon will ring her lover's doom, unless Ah ! what is her thought ? How can she stop its ring- ing — make it dumb? 84 A LEGEND OF CHERTSEY. See ! she watches, watches, watches, till the fatal moment come! Now — now ! — see — the rope is moving ! and the bell begins to sway ! In a moment it will give voice, and all hope be swept away ! Courage! — one wild leap : — she grasps the bell: — it lifts her off the ground : To and fro it sways — but dumbly — for her hands have hushed the sound. Swinging, swinging: — meadows, houses, winding river, sunset's glow Swim before her as she hangs there, and the bell moves to and fro ! Swinging, swinging : — hands are bleeding, sense is failing with the pain :— Still she clings, and still she clings on, clinging still with might and main ! And the sexton, deaf, and with his heart absorbed in prayer, below Pulls the rope, nor hears, nor cares to hear, its answering note of woe ! Lo ! the swinging lessened — ceased ! She slipped, with sobbings, to the floor, A LEGEND OF CHERTSEY. 85 Where, a happy child, she oft had played with Martin years before ! There she lay, half dead, and fainting • whilst low down the western sky, Like a fire the broad sun blazed : and in the prison-yard, hard by, Stood her lover, ready, waiting for the curfew bell to sound : Whilst the poor, half-frightened people, pale and trem- bling, gathered round. There they waited, still expectant. Some have gone toward the church tower, Wondering why the curfew still delays to ring the sunset hour : — When — in silence — hark ! a distant bugle peals across the land : — Up the street a man comes spurring, — "Cromwell! Cromwell is at hand ! " And the girl, who down the belfry stairs had crept, and reached the gate, Heard, the shout, and hurried onward, lest her prayer should come too late. And, before 'twas found the sexton deemed that he had rung the bell, 86 A LEGEND OF CHERTSEY. She was at the feet of Cromwell — there she pleaded long and well : — There she showed her trembling hands, by the iron and woodwork torn : — Told how Martin only bore the Faith his fathers long had borne : — Prayed for pardon : — spoke of Mercy, Mercy that is throned above : — Pleaded with the noble and heart-moving eloquence of Love : — Till the iron heart was melted. " Let his life," he said, "be spared ! Love must greatly claim our reverence, when thus greatly hath it dared. Almost seems the sun to answer, and delay its course to-night : Let no curfew ring its setting, for we do not miss its light When such faithfulness is shining in our midst with goodly ray. You have saved your lover's life : go — seek him : tell him what I say : — Let him give his life in answer — and give both to God this day ! A LEGEND OF CHERTSEY. 87 On to Chertsey. Let us enter with a psalm upon our lip ; Finding in this deed of love, which all can honour, fellowship. Tell the story to your children : and their children still shall tell How the Maiden conquered Time, and hushed the ringing of the Bell." THE HOUR BEFORE THE DAWN. 1 (For Recitation with Musia) Scene, a room, dimly lighted with a shaded lamp, flowers on the tables. A large bow-window, with the curtains drawn. A piano, with sheets of music piled upon it. In an arm-chair a young man is seated. At his side stands his mother, with her hand upon his shoulder. He turns to her, kisses her hand, and says : — Leave me, dear mother : go — and have no fear. I shall be happy here until the morn, Nor want for aught. You see the bell is near. Go, rest : you look so pale, — so tired and worn ! Leave me awhile : I like to be alone. Put back the lamp : — and let the blind be drawn 1 I am indebted for the leading idea of these lines to Mr. A. F. Westmacott. THE HOUR BEFORE THE DAWN. 89 Aside : — With stars the skies are sown. Open the window. Place those flowers near. Mother, your love has never seemed so dear. Good-night. Yes — leave me, mother, till the dawn. She goes. I hear the faltering footsteps stay Outside the door, as loth to pass away. She longs to stay beside me all the night. Tis late already : for the lamp's dim light Has flickered low : and in the east afar, Surely that star must be the morning star. But all the world seems very still and calm. No earliest bird pipes yet its matin psalm. The air is breathless ! not a leaf astir ! The tenderest chords of sense grow tenderer At such an hour : and influences wake That sleep by day. They rule the night, and make An hour like this their own. The eye and ear Strain for some sound of moving life around : — The world is sleeping both to sight and sound. The perfume of a hundred dew-drenched flowers Hangs in the air. From the far Abbey towers 90 THE HOUR BEFORE THE DAWN. The quarters chime. I hear them clearly borne Through the mute air. Is it so near the morn ? Three hours since midnight ! Is the time so close When the faint east will flush with gold and rose ? No sign as yet that night's veil is withdrawn ! It is that darkest hour before the dawn. What is this restlessness that makes me fret, And fills me with unspeakable regret ? Dear Art ! my Better Self ! — I turn to thee. Strengthen and calm me, as thou oft hast done. For Failure thou hast naught of cruelty : Only for Fame and Praise that have been won By degradation of thy majesty. Hast thou the scornful and rejecting hand. Comfort thy weak, but not unfaithful son : Send me some message from thine Unseen Land. Let me forget my petty griefs and strife, And all the dark entanglements of life, In thy eternal calm and loveliness. Pour light upon me. Let me hear The music of thy presence. Ah, draw near And nearer as the world grows less and less. THE HOUR BEFORE THE DAWN. 91 I long to hear some chord, some note, some strain. There's music here within me — and 'twere vain To echo that — but yet I long to hear The air vibrate with actual sound. 'Tis near — The instrument ! — I long to touch the keys ; And wake once more familiar harmonies. The sound in this deep silence will gain power : The time, the solemn spirit of the hour, Will hallow every note to blessedness : Till hearing, linked with memory, grow scarce less Than worship ; and the very heart be drawn Upward and outward to the coming dawn. 'Twill wake my mother. Nay : if she's asleep, Her wearied sleep will be too dense and deep. If she be waking, she will hear the chords, And they will summon her like spoken words. Better : for in their message she will read, The dawn is coming to my life indeed. Weak ! I am weak. I scarce can guide my limbs Toward the beloved instrument — though near. The room looks strange and far away. It swims Before me as I move. Ah friend ! so dear — 92 THE HOUR BEFORE THE DAWN. So loved ! Again I touch the keys : my hands Are feeble to obey my will's commands : They wander into discords : but the song Pours life into my veins, and I grow strong. The joy is almost more than I can bear ! Music ! ah, who thy message may declare, The limits of thy sovereignty define, Or prophesy the future that is thine? Latest born of all the Arts, Welcome to thy golden reign : All the joy of youth is thine ! Earth in thee grows young again. Tell us all we ever felt ; Every scene our life has known. Sing to us : and let our hearts Give the echo to each tone. Music ! — ah, the very word Seems in fire and glory writ : Crowned by poets, lit with love, Heaven itself hath promised it. Hearts that throb, and swell, and yearn With a poetry that's mute : — Lives that suffer : — thoughts that burn : — Hopes that bud, but fail of fruit : — THE HOUR BEFORE THE DAWN. 93 Poems which are sung in silence, Unrecorded and unheard : — Joys and dreams that have no answer : — Love that passes without word : — Whispers from the worlds beyond us : — Echoes from the lives gone by : — Voices of Life's eager questions : — Mysteries of Death's reply : — Find an utterance and a meaning, Read a far off mystic sign, Hear a promise of fulfilment, Music, in some voice of thine ! I see once more my Past from childhood's hour, The flattering dreams of triumph yet to be : I feel again the young belief in power, The hope that called itself a prophecy. Such hopes to natures that are strong and true Are prophecies indeed and lead them on To high endeavour and achievement too. Whose was the fault then that those hopes but shone So fitfully for me ? What did I lose ? Where fail ? — when called upon in life to choose. Chose I a wrong path, or a hopeless aim ? 94 THE HOUR BEFORE THE DAWN. Ah ! shall I give my failure its right name ? 'Tis here — in these hands that had no strength for strife, No grasp upon the ruggedness of life : — Here — on these feet that tripped at every stone, And would not tread the path of work alone : — Here — on the heart and brain that surely knew The Artist's sympathy, and passion too, To see and feel, but not the power to do ! These hands ! and might they not the* strength have gained To fight as all have fought who have attained Prizes in life ? who knows ? Once in them lay A hand, smaller and softer far than they : Smaller and softer — yet it gave them strength Such as might well have gained for them at length The prizes they have missed without it. Yes : — They found a purpose in that soft caress, Lost soon as found. For though it was so much To me, and nerved me with its very touch, It found no answer in my clasping hand : No answer it, at least, could understand, Or cared to read. White hand, you were too sweet, Too dainty far for mine. My pulses beat Remembering you. I wonder, do you know THE HOUR BEFORE THE DAWN. 95 That they are beating for you, though so low ? What folly ! Nay, white hand, to you 'twas naught — A merest waft of girlhood's waking thought : You're happy now, clasped in a loving hold. There was no blame — the tale has oft been told ; What shall we call it ? — a mistake — that's all : Reality to one, and what you call A dream, remembered with a smile almost, Unto the other. Mistakes like that have cost More than my life has in't to give ere this. No blame ! Love sometimes asks for one brief kiss, Your life : — and passes on, without a sigh. There is no blame ; for, of a certainty, There seems no choice : — we pay the price and die, Knowing the cost ! I do not blame — not I ! White hand, I love you still, and wish you well. When you touched mine how could your heart foretell The touch would wake the one chord that is true To life in me ? — 'Twere mute still, save for you. But for that waking, though the music be The faintest echo of that melody, That is to life as sunshine to the land, I thank you and I love you, gentle hand ! The opening song was sweet beyond all words ; 96 THE HOUR BEFORE THE DAWN. Rich as, in June, the carols of the birds Fluted at sunrise, on a woodland lawn, When all the world is flooded with the dawn ! The Dawn ! — ah, see ! The clouds have seen the sun, And quicken into glory one by one. A sense of wakening life is in the trees — A nutter as of wings ! Soft harmonies Awake to answer those the eyes Receive in colour from the flushing skies. The old familiar scene looks new and strange, As though I need had seen it truly. Change ! But in the eyes that look, not in the place. Mother ! — I'm glad you're here. Your well-loved face It too has something in it strange and new. Why did you come ? I did not call for you — But I am glad. You see I could not stand Against temptation. Let me be — My hand Clings to the keyboard. I am happy here, Feeling that both of you, so loved, are near. Place your arms round me : kiss me on the brow. The sun is shining full upon us now. So — let me play : — yes, yes — I will ! I'm strong. Would I could greet the Dawn with worthier song ! THE HOUR BEFORE THE DAWN. 97 But 'tis the notes themselves — the very chords — I love — They ease me more than any words. Ah ! think not that I lack in reverence At such a time. But I would go out hence Hearing this voice of music, which has been The master-chord in life to me. 'Twould seem A different revelation comes to each : To every listening ear there is a speech That comes to it with glory and a sign, And best may spell for it the Name Divine : And music seems the speech that speaks to mine. If you should see her — tell her — tell her this, That in my life the fairest memory is The day I met her : and that, just before, — Before — the Dawn (the sun shines more and more ! ) I played the air she liked — the air I wrote For her. Ah ! how I stumble at each note ! My fingers seek the melody in vain : — 'Tis gone — ah no — I have it now again. Say now the words you taught me at your knee : They touch the very heart of Melody. These sounds of mine will soon in silence sink : Their music will not ever cease, I think. H THE LOVER. ^ Abate, O nightingale, thy passionate lay, Or by a voice it will be put to shame : — Fade, stars ; or soon your lustre will give way Before a glance in which the heart takes flame. I scarcely heed the beauty that I see ; My heart is reigning even in my eyes : And joyous Love arising, winged, and free, Compels the earth, and treads the very skies. The stars are nothing to me when I gaze Into the heaven of that loving smile : — You speak to me : — and never word of praise Sweet Philomel can gain from me the while. THE LOVER. 99 The Beauty round me, howsoe'er intense, Seems but fit setting for Love's rich delight : A part of joy so high that every sense Must be fulfilled to enter on that height. Sing, nightingales ! Be minstrels to our Feast : Shine out, O stars ! as torches to our Throne : — Come, Earth, from North to South, from West and East, And Love shall make your Beauty all his own. IN ILLNESS. Over and over and over again, In and out, and about, the brain, All the day long, all the day long, Something has sung me an unknown song. Is there anything near me, afloat in the air ? Is there anything standing behind my chair ; — And is that its breath at the roots of my hair ? I have heard that the gleam of the Crotalus' eyes Works such wicked and baleful sorceries, That its victim, bewitched and with freezing breath Stands waiting the rattle and poison of death ; Whilst with flattening head, the accursed thing Unwindeth its coils for the fatal spring. So seem I to wait : — whilst all through the brain, Over, and over, and over again, Windeth that strange and mysterious strain, IN ILLNESS. 101 Windeth and coileth, till every sense Seems drawn to the utmost, quivering, tense, Drawn by the magnet-like spell of the song, Drawn into listening all the day long. — It comes with whispers and murmurings, With the trampling of feet, and the beating of wings, And a sense of the approach of invisible things, With splendours that grow from, and sink into gloom, With the glare of a crisis, and the shade of a doom ; — It fills me with grief lest its rhythm should die Ere I fashion the shape of its melody : — Now seems it to swell, and grow higher and higher, With a roar and a crash, like a wind-angered fire ; Till I, knowing it coming, and hearing it come, Could scream, were I held not passive and dumb : — And now with a sudden plunge and sigh, It dives in the wells of memory ; And where the sad waters lie darkling in night, It shoots cruel shafts of irreverent light ; Till faces forgotten, and happier years, Youth's joys and mistakes, dead Hopes and Fears, Drowned deep in regret, and bitter with tears, Seem to stir into something like life again, 102 IN ILLNESS. At the incantation of that refrain ; — Till my eyes are brimming, and all grows dim, As the cadence of that mysterious hymn Falleth and riseth with the breast, Riseth and falleth, and will not rest, But winds through the heart and coils round the brain, Over and over and over again. Yet I know that the room is silent all : For a denser stillness begins to fall, As the gloomy twilight, drenched in rain, Is darkened, and drawn from the window-pane. The fire, whose vivid and comforting glow Has cheered me, is glimmering, fitful and low • So dull that the shadowy walls of the room Have vanished beyond the contracting gloom. There is not a sound, save, now and again, A desolate plash from the falling rain ; A bell that is tolling far away ; And a cinder that clinks as it turns to gray. And here I sit in the great armchair, And in me, and round me, everywhere, With a growing sense of crisis and pain. IN ILLNESS. 103 Over and over and over again, In the same mysterious time and tone, Repeated, and yet never known, Just as I've heard it all day long, I can feel the swing of that terrible song. I wish that some one would come in to me : The sound of a cheery voice, maybe Would somehow set things all aright. I wish that some one would come with a light. I shall madden here alone, in the dark, Whilst the fire is fading out, spark by spark, Till the last red flame gives its dying start, And sinks back dull and faint and dead ; And that evil song is still at my heart, And coiling itself about my head, Winding in and about the brain. Over and over and over again. # % # # % A DEAD LOVE'S OBSEQUIES. Choose me a lonely and desolate spot, Bitter with blight, and canker accursf ; Where human footstep echoes not, And untamed Nature vvorketh her worst. Let the toad croak loud, and the snake slip by, While the raven flappeth his wing above : — And straightway I to that place will hie, For such is the place for thy burial, Love. Choose me a dark and terrible night, When Death is about i' the murky air : When children shriek in their sleep for fright, And strong men cross themselves in prayer : Let the wind wail loud over city and kirk, And the thunderbolt crash from the cloud above ; And then I will get me straight to my work, For such is the time for thy burial, Love. A DEAD LOVE'S OBSEQUIES. 105 And choose you a funeral garment to wear, And write me a fitting funeral song, For you must be Priest and Mourner there, And chant me a psalm as we go along. And why ? The Love I shall bury that night, Is the corpse of the Love you gave to me : Tis meet that I bury it deep out of sight, And 'tis meet that you should be by to see. For thus, as whilst yet it lived, its face To us, to us twain only, was known ; So now it is dead, its resting-place Shall be known to none but us alone. And the place is here, and the time is now : — Hush ! Nay, it is useless to weep or rave ! I give you one last kiss on the brow. — My God ! it is done. Let Love rot in its grave. ALONE. In the quiet summer evening, You and I, beside the window, Look upon the happy landscape ; Lonely, each ; though hand in hand. Boys are bathing in the river ; I can hear their joyous voices, As they swim in lustrous water, Round the golden meadowland. From the hayfields, home-returning, Troop the reapers by the waggon ; All the sounds of life and labour Change to music in the air. ALONE. 107 Far away, the bells are ringing : Through the evening's dreamy splendour They come pealing, with a pathos That no language can declare. Earth is very fair and joyous : And to us the hour is blessed, — Blessed in each other's presence, And in thought of days gone by. Yet I feel the hot tears rising ; And in your eyes tears are shining ; — But you cannot tell me wherefore, Neither can I tell you why. Unto you and me this moment Speaks, no doubt, a different message ; Speaks to each, for each one only, What none else could understand. I can only call you " Dearest !" You can only say " I love you !" All beyond is self and silence : — Lonely, each : though hand in hand. TO CALMNESS. Sing thou to me, my heart, •* For I am vexed and weary : Be psalmist to thyself, Take up thy harp, and cheer me. Sing unto me of calmness, fair and strong, Until she come to me upon your song. Why am I sad to-night ? Is it a thing so strange, To see life's colours fade, And find that friends can change ? That Will at times seems come to cope with Fate ? That he who longs to do, but learns to wait ? Calmness ! oh me — that word So often on our lips, TO CALMNESS. 109 When lights that lead our lives Are shadowed in eclipse ! Divinest calmness — come to me to-night, And fill my spirit with thine equal light. Ay, thou for whom my soul Doth daily, hourly pray ; Oh hardest maid to win, And soonest scared away — Come ! come and clasp me in thy cold, chaste arms : Passionless, chant me thy strong-hearted psalms. RE-UNITED. Whilst you were far away, Life seemed A restless slumber naught could break. I did not live : I only dreamed : But you return — and I awake ! Thrice welcome to the blessed day ! The sun is shining : — all is new ! The sun ? — the morning, do I say ? The light I welcome shines from you. Yes : like a dream from off my brain, The motley days of Absence fly : I wake. — I take up life again. — Was it last night you said " Good-bye " ? The day will come to us again ; The summer will return : The frozen streamlet gush afresh Amidst the new-grown fern. The fallow harvest-fields next year Their golden robes will don ; — But ah ! the love you bore me once Is gone — is gone — is gone ! There's nothing — nothing in the world Can give it life again : No bribe of joy, no gift of tears, No sacrifice of pain : — Nor word, nor deed, nor prayer, nor threat, Nor smile, nor agony, Nor life, nor death, nor heaven itself Can bring it back to me. i ! 2 LOVE'S NE VERMORE. Ambition conquers oft defeat ; Hope hath eternal breath : Faith knows a more than Phoenix life And Truth is freed from Death. Our souls will live again when life Hath passed from earth away ; But ah ! for love that once is dead There is no Easter Day. Seed-time and harvest will return ; Earth will retrieve her scars : The day-time will renew his songs ; The night regain her stars : The sun will shine on us again As bright as e'er it shone : But ah ! the love you bore me once Is gone — is gone — is gone ! IN SORROW. The trivial incidents of every day Drive home the meaning of the mourner's loss : We trip upon a briar in the way, And thereon feel how heavy is the cross. The strongest recollections seem to lie, Like latent music, in the commonest things : We put our hand upon them, passing by, And rudely touch the unsuspected strings. And lo ! there rises up an awful song — The passion and the pathos of dead years ! Harmonious minors, sweeping full and strong, And sapping all our strength with rush of tears. ROUGE ET NOIR. (Written for Recitation.) I had lost all night, with ill-fortune so strange, That I said with each venture, "The luck will change." Every night, as you know, has repeated the tale : The fever that heightens, the hopes that fail. I tell you my all was placed on the stake. Well — I lost. And I knew that the morning would break On my hopeless ruin, disgrace, despair, Unless Fortune changed. And, bribed by what prayer, Or compelled by what curse, would she deign to show One glimpse of the light that a year ago Led me on and on with such certain flame, Till it changed in one hour to darkness and shame ? I played on : till the bells from the church tolled four. Then I knew, — though I saw of the dawn no more R UGE E T NO/ A'. 1 1 5 Than here and there through a curtain's fold A narrow streak of luminous gold, — That the latest gleam of the morning star Had gone out in the rose of the east afar. And I thought that a shame seemed to pass o'er the room : And the lights grew more sickly, and denser the gloom ; And the people looked strange ; and I scarce knew my face In the mirror beside, as I turned from my place To a sofa, and sank on its cushions, and lay, And thought that my senses were falling away. Fritz passed me and spoke, but my tongue seemed tied. Then he drew the dark velvet curtains aside, Flung the lace from the window, and opened it wide. And with holiness far above insult or taint, Like the glory that haloes the face of a saint, Heavenly, pure, unsullied, bright, Flowed in a blue flood of morning light. The air was cool as mountain rills, And fresh with the odours of meadows and hills : On my forehead it blew, and it lifted my hair ; (I thought that her fingers were wandering there.) And I felt a waft of the unstained joy n6 ROUGE ET NOIR. That I used to feel, when, a light-hearted boy, I would wake on just such a summer dawn, And hear the thrush sing on the garden lawn ; And dream of how happy my life should be, Whilst the sun rose over the distant sea. And lo ! even then, as I trembled and felt My whole spirit burn, and begin to melt In the morning's holy and ardent light, A gloom and a fire passed over my sight. For I heard, through the tumult and stir of the room, Those words of madness, — those words of doom, — Those words that so bitterly well I knew, — " Faites votre jeu, messieurs, faites votre jeu !" And again I felt the blackening pall Of their magic and glamour around me fall ; And again my better nature gives way Before their irresistible sway ; As, with desperate calm, I again take my place, For the last, last time, at the long green baize, With the sense of a fiend, hue and cry, on my track, And the whole world a-dazzle with red and black, Whilst I mutter under my quickening breath, — "You make your game now for life or death !" RO UGE E T NOW. 1 1 7 There are pale faces round me, and eyes that glare ;- And the glitter of sconces that flicker and flare ; — There are shuddering wafts of the morning air ; — There is chinking of money here and there ; — A hush around, and a storm within ; — And the thought — Rouge? Noir? — "Rouge!" Clod! will it win? — Then a moment that lies on the spirit like lead, Till it burst like a thunderbolt over my head, "Rouge perde !" and I stagger and fall like one dead. Ah, yes : they tell me I fell with a scream. It all seems now like some hideous dream. But ah ! no dream is the ruin I face, In all its grim, cold commonplace ! No dream was the barrel pressed on my brow When you came and snatched it away just now ! You say there is hope even yet ; if I raise My eyes, and work toward better days, With " never too late " — and the rest of the phrase. Ah ! friend : do not let me blame or fret, — Perhaps you are right, — but yet — and yet ! — My life rises up at me whilst I speak, Ii8 ROUGE ET NOIR. With a voice like the wind's, and the whirlwind's shriek : And no accents of Hope can I hear on its blast, No voice but the voice of the pitiless past ! The irreparable past ! with its bloodhound breath, And with eyes that are keen as the eyes of death ; — That terrible monster of Frankenstein That is made from a past and a nature like mine ! God help any man who tangles his life, -n And slips from the plain highroads in the Strife ! For whether he knowingly turns astray, Or wanders in ignorance away, The price must be paid — the end is the same : And the higher the nature, the deeper the shame. The men who keep to paths direct, Whose ways are safe and circumspect, — (God knows ! they too may have had to atone For slips that to none but themselves are known, For the heart knows its bitterness alone), — They never can know of the hopeless maze That hedges the wanderer in lost ways ; That closes round him on every side ; Where any chance of return is denied ; Where choice of road there is none — there is none ! And whence there is no gate, no issue — but one ! ROUGE ET NOIR. 119 Now, good-bye : yes, farewell : for our roads lie apart ; — You're my friend, my brother; worn here — "heart of heart," — I can trust your love always. Now drink we a draught. To the glad long ago — a last Briiderschaft ! So, — your arm pressing mine gives a life to the wine. Now you must go your way — and I ? — I will go mine. A DREAM OF LIFE. Lo ! I see children round the firelight : Outside the night is still, and dark and deep : Inside, although at times the glow is bright, Are sounds of those who sit in gloom and weep. Some strain their eyes into the dark afar, Pressing pale faces on the breath-filmed glass : Or ask the others if they see a star : Or say that ghostlike figures flit and pass. One, creeping up to where the light is strong, Foldeth his arms about a little maid : And one is trying hard to sing a song Pretending that he does not feel afraid. A DREAM OF LIFE. 121 Here, sits a child who rocks himself and cries : There, one hangs pictures o : er the window-pane : These laugh and dance, with wild and startled eyes : Those mend their broken toys, that break again. And outside all in utter darkness lies — No sound — no form — no message and no sign? Only the silence of the far-off skies : And stars that through the darkness calmly shine. SUNDAY EVENING. The sun is setting. By the churchyard stile, Here on the upland, let me rest awhile. The hour and place are beautiful to me In seen delight and unseen memory. The hill-slope faces westward : and the land, Garden-like, stretches out on every hand, And far across the meadows, golden green, The spires of Oxford crown the lovely scene. How the eye dwells on every landmark round ! And how the ear drinks in each pleasant sound ! Both sight and sound alike grow doubly fair, Translated through the golden evening air. SUN DA Y E VENING. 1 23 'Tis but a few short years since here I stood. Seeing the self-same field and hill and wood : When, just as now, the sunset lingered low, O'er Oxford's " crown of towers," and Isis' flow. Often I hither walked on summer eves, Or when October touched the yellowing leaves ; When days were drawn to longest span in June, Or when snow shone beneath December's moon. Dear and familiar is this twilight scene : — That old stone tower : those yew trees, darkly green. How well I knew the lane up which I came ! Nothing is changed, yet nothing is the same. Nothing is changed : yet change is everywhere :— All things the same : yet not the things they were : — Pathetically different all appears From this same scene as known in earlier years. Where is the change ? and what has taken flight ? Is it the loss of that mysterious light Which surely once upon my pathway shone ; And which I woke one day to find was gone ? 124 -S" UN DA Y E VENING. Gone ! — when and where I cannot tell in truth : Gone ! ere I felt it going, with my youth ! Leaving behind for evermore a sense Of aching void, and cureless difference. Ah ! most pathetic of all human woe : Tritest of sorrow that this world doth know : Foolish to others — but to us so sore — That wild regret for days that are no more ! What, then, does all this yearning sadness mean ? The touching beauty of this evening scene ? There must be answer, which some day will come, There must be answer, though earth seems so dumb. Once, ere my life had asked, reply seemed clear : Now that my life has asked, no voice I hear ! No voice that speaks with any certain trust ; None, save the Love that hopes in spite of Dust. None, more than this — the thought that haunts the brain — And whispers that its breath is not in vain : — That somewhere will the best our life hath known Be brought again with joy unto its own : — S UN DA Y E VENING. 1 25 That as all light has one great heart of light, So all the things that make life fair and bright, And noble, spring from one Eternal Root Of which they are the flower and the fruit. Oh for the faith of childhood, when my eyes Saw heaven with all its angels in the skies ! Ere yet unveiling life had shown its form, Or Thought or Passion raised their earliest storm. Moments like these a smile of scorn may bring To those too wise, or dull, to feel their sting : But unto many, from such moment's strife, Are born the thoughts that mould their afterlife. Heart-rending sorrows, Love's awaking kiss, These teach us most what living really is : The heart gives fuller wisdom than the brain : And Reason learns of passion and of pain. So unto such as I, these moments — weak Although they seem to those who sift and seek, And have the power their own clear thought to tell— Have yet their meaning, and their use as well. 126 S UN DA Y E VENING. Surely the tears with which my eyes are wet Are made of something more than mere regret : Rise from the heart's least desecrated source, And not without some blessing take their course. Hark ! they are singing in the church. The hymn Peals through the open doorway, dark and dim : And it fulfils with more than speaking power The loveliness and meaning of the hoirr. Ah ! let me join, although with alien voice, In that sweet hymn, that, sung by happy boys, Where thro' the chancel steals the sun's last ray, Touches me more than any words can say. For such the hymn that whilst I yet was young In school and college chapel oft I sung : It comforted my father's wearied ears ; And it is hallowed by my mother's tears. Abide with me : fast falls the eventide — To-night the well-known words seem glorified : Embodying more, and with a voice more fine, My inmost need, than any words of mine. SUNDA Y E VENING. 1 27 Rough were the hand such thoughts would sweep away ; Shallow the heart that did not feel their sway : And he for whom no memories haunt the words Is deaf to one of life's most tender chords. well-loved scene ! Ah, lovely summer night ! What is your message ? Who shall read aright ? 1 cannot hear : for life has dulled my ears : I cannot read ; my eyes are full of tears. Here let me kneel, and turn me to the West, For doubt and yearning hold my struggling breast : And I, in reverence, would place my hand On what the wisest cannot understand. Hushed is the hymn : and as I westward gaze The sun withdraws the latest of his rays. The rooks stream home. The church clock gives the hour. The far-off city answers. Spire and tower Take up the tale. The air-wave on its swell Brings silvery chimes, and many a deep-toned bell. Now all is still again. The golden glow Is fading as I reach the lane below. Thou aw'st my soul, O Nature, most When thou art robed in flowers : The song I least am nerved to hear Thou sing'st in summer holers. The Ages pass : and never mark Upon thy brows they set ; I see no memories in thine eyes : Thy voice knows no regret. I fear Thee when, 'mid blight and death, Thou tak'st a ruthless way : But ah ! my soul grows dumb with awe To hear thee laugh at play. A SUMMER NIGHT. Listen and look ! How beautiful it is ! So calm, the moon alone appears to move. The year will know no sweeter hour than this : It seems to catch the spirit of our love. The stars will hardly triumph o'er the West Before the East disputes their quiet reign : The last bird scarce have fluttered to its rest, Before the earliest wakes to song again. And as heart beats to heart, and hand clasps hand. A godlike sympathy to us is given, With everything that lives in sea and land, And everything that loves in earth and heaven. K A STORM. There is a tumult in the sea to-night ! I see the sheeted foam flash ghastly-pale : Whilst flakes of foam and wreaths of sea-weed dank Fly past me, as I lean against the gale. The gulls are screaming in the crannied cliffs : And angry voices rise, that speak to me Of giant boulder, bedded rock, and sand, Wrestling in agony against the sea. There is a tumult in my heart to-night ! The sea of passion, white with inward strife, Uplifts its waves, and madly beat the rocks Where lie the very roots of Love and Life. Its Titan strength besieges all my heart ; Whence issue voices wild, that speak to me Of grappling Will, Endeavour and Resolve, Wrestling in agony against the sea. A STORM. 131 Shriek, winds ; and hurl the vast Atlantic waves In thunderpeals against the granite wall : The throned rocks, unmoved, will face the dawn, And from their iron seats defy you all. God ! will the dawn behold my Will rock-firm From out the stress of this tumultuous fray ? — Or lying drowned in wells of deep defeat, — Pounded to dust — clean gone — and washed away ? AN IMPRESSIONS The dusk of a dull November day :— A quiet London square : — A line of gas-lamps in the gray, Blurred with the smoky air :— A narrow strip of sunset sky, Seen through a leafless tree : — The hum and drone of the streets near by, Like the voice of a distant sea. And as I counted the clock strike five, And sat by the fire in my chair, An old street organ began to give Its voice to the quiet square. AN IMPRESSION. 133 'Twas a well-known melody from one Of Verdi's operas ; Where you feel the warmth of a southern sun, And the glow of the southern stars. Alas ! to be worthy a poet's rhyme, And to have its touch of romance, It should have been on the "castled Rhine," Or some old-world town of France. It should have been my lady's song In an old oak-panelled hall : Or the strain from a gondola floating along : Or the hymn from a convent wall. But dull were the things I saw and heard : — Yet it was not these alone : — For a pathos for which I have no word Had made them all its own. I had held my sorrow from giving way Through months of pent-up care : But the song in the dusk of that wintry day Mastered me then and there. NEW YEAR'S NIGHT, Just as I gained my doorstep in the snow, And paused a moment, looking toward the sky, The stroke of midnight sounded, solemn, slow ; And bells began to ring out merrily. And suddenly I saw the well-known place With other eyes, — the same, yet not the same ! The whole world changed before my very face With change that knows no form, and has no name. Something ne'er seen before rose into sight ; Something, to come back never, went out hence : Yet nothing warned me that that New Year's night Would touch my life with such strange difference. NEW YEAR'S NIGHT. 135 I heard the bells go ringing, far and near ; Over the way the rooms were brightly lit ; A window was thrown open wide to hear ; Across the light I saw dark shadows flit : — Above, the frosty stars were sparkling keen ; The wheel-ruts furrowed the discoloured snow : — There was no inch of the familiar scene, No sound or echo, that I did not know. Yet all was seen and heard for the first time ; Almost by one new-born, as it might be : — Many New Years since then have rung the chime ; But that New Year has never ceased for me. ON CHARLTON HILL. I looked to London when the sun was low, And watched the river as it curved away To where St. Paul's, against the after-glow Rose o'er the masts, and fog-banks dull and gray. Mournful it was to watch the river glide Between the mud-banks of the ebbing tide : Mournful the hush ! — The city lay too far To send its voices thither : yet too near For earth-born, natural sounds to greet the ear. Dim through the smoke-drift burnt the evening star. And as I stood and dreamed a moment there, I wished that Earth were once more young and fair, And Progress looked but dingy, dull and vain, Beside the vision of Pan's golden reign. IN WESTMINSTER ABBEY. Time, who unmakes us all, hath made thee strong The Past is living still thine aisles among, To tell in word, and symbolism high, How much there is in life that cannot die. Here let me gaze with reverent eyes around : For this, to English hearts, is holy ground. The roar of London seems to beat on thee Like waves from an advancing, rising sea Beating upon a rock, whose noble form Tells of the work of sunshine and of storm. The Poetry of Worship in all Time, The godward instinct of each age and clime, Upon thy hallowed and historic wall Is writ in characters majestical. AT HAMPTON COURT. Pathetic in its bygone stateliness. The Palace stands amidst its gardens fair. The lawns are robed in summer's richest dress ; The fountains poise their rainbows in the air. The river 'neath the terrace-balustrade, Flows on its way, as silvery and serene, As when King Charles lay dreaming in the shade, Or Marlborough talked of Blenheim to the Queen. But better than its actual memories Is that sweet influence that in it lies : For in its quaint old courts, and pleasant ways, We meet the spirit of departed days. The place is fine alike to heart and eye : — By Nature blessed, and dowered by History. APRIL DAYS. No settled purpose holds these April days ; But shine and shadow counterchange the hours : March winds dispute the sun's advancing rays ; And rainbows fleet across the fleeting show'rs. The blurrs of winter chill the blossoming bow'rs, And mock the blackbirds' bright antiphonies. Shy buds expand, and trees burst forth in flow'rs, Wooed by the sunshine's golden flatteries, To face the anger of rebuking skies. And thus it is, sweet youth, with all thy years, Thy blossoming thoughts are washed by sudden tears ; Thy sunniest hopes are fused with Wintry fears. For Spring hath not the Summer's statelier calm : And, having it, would lose its proper charm. "GOOD IN EVERYTHING." Dark pool, that slimes with moss the fallen tree, And stagnates, thick with pulp and rotted weed, Thou art not all unlovely : for in thee The skies reflected lie. Their blue, indeed, Is stained by thine uncleanness : yet the light Doth hide thy rank impurities from sight, And paints them with its splendour. Is the creed That says in vilest things we still may find A hint of what is beautiful and bright, A vain one ? He, who with an earnest mind, Wishes to find light, finds it everywhere ! In this dark pool some touch of glory lies. It seems but filth : yet gaze with kindlier eyes, And lo ! a bit of heaven is shining there ! TO NATURE. From streets and London life I gladly turn To unfrequented fields, and homely ways ; Well pleased to sit at Nature's feet, and learn The quiet lessons of sweet summer days. The skies and seas, they will be kind and good ; And not refuse to give me brotherhood. The hills and forests will not say me nay, Nor shun to-morrow whom they love to-day. Tired am I, and full of foolish fears : My eyes are dulled with weak, but bitter tears. So do I come, O Nature, to thy feet. Ah ! take me, Mother ! calm and strengthen me That I, from life's mistakes and self-deceit, May rest awhile, forgetting all but thee ! THE LOVER'S SECRET. " Yellow-haired maiden, so busy a-gleaning, Why are you singing so blithely, I pray ? Have you discovered die spirit and meaning Of all that is glad in the long summer day?" " Yea : I have found it : but not to reveal it. Need is there none I should give you the clue. Nature, she taketh small pains to conceal it ! Ah, good my lad, is it hidden from you ?" " If that it be, it is surely your mission Here to proclaim ' Lo, the path and the way !' To say it will open to such a petition, And such is the tribute its votaries pay." THE LOVER'S SECRET. 143 '"Tis born of no sweetness in opening flower ; 'Tis sung by no nightingale under the tree : Nor, rainbow-like, comes it of sunshine or shower ; Nor told of wild winds that sweep in from the sea." " Lives it in valleys ? is't throned in the mountain ? Do stars up in heaven emblazon its name ? Who knoweth its source ? or what eyes see its fountain ? And is it revealed in crystal or flame?" " It walketh the world in Sweetness and Beauty ; Its feet are with courage and purity shod : Unselfishness robes it : 'tis crowned of Duty : And those who have seen it are conscious of God.'' " I see it : I see it : though darkly and blindly ! It speaks in your voice, and its music is strong : It shines in your eyes, and its splendour is kindly :— The secret is mine : — I can join in your song." AN IDLE DAY. The day is idle : — and idle am I ! I care to do naught but lie and dream ; As I gaze with half-closed eyes at the sky, And the diamond prisms that sparkle and beam Over the top of the sand-hills high, Where the sails of the far-off vessels gleam. Here could I lie all the happy day, Content to dream the hours away ! Happy in knowing that you were by. Whilst the wonder of open sea and sky, And the sweet fresh scent of the ocean brine, Revive my soul like bread and wine. Our hearts are one with the sunlit scene ; With the sounds that fill the generous air ; With the sea-weeds purple and brown and green ; With the delicate sand-flowers blooming there ; AN IDLE DA Y. 145 With the pink and white shells that lie at our feet ; With the sail-flecked horizon, hazy with heat ; With the boats that swing in the purple bay ; And the freedom of Nature who laughs whilst she may In the God-given joy of the Summer Day. So here let us lie on the yellow sea-sand, Grasses, and shells and sea-weeds among. We are monarchs of earth, and kings in the land, Though no sceptre be given, no psean be sung ! For we've sunshine and air : — we lie, hand in hand ; — We hope, and remember : — we breathe, and are young I A LESSON. Lo ! every year, on Autumn's chilling breeze, The Frost draws near to strip the branches clean : But still the infinitely hopeful trees, The Winter gone, put on their robes of green. Each year the miracle of Spring is wrought As freshly as in Eden's primal bowers : And raw December's reign is set at naught By April's vernal rains, and May-time's flowers. Hence let me learn from Disappointment's face To turn aside with undespairing heart : — Ready to meet fresh Hope with fitting grace, And bear in any spring a timely part. A NEW YEAR'S GREETING. Here by the open window, On this sweet New Year's Day, I'm striving hard to listen To what Earth has to say. The air is mild and quiet, The ground is dark and soft, The flood-tides of the river Gleam in the willow-croft. All things are calm and pensive ; And from the fir-woods there The twitter of the robin Makes sweet the sleepy air. O twinkling shrubs and hollies, O ferns in sheltered nook, O hoarse, full-throated warblings Of yonder rain-filled brook, Ye have a voice, a language, An untranslated speech : 148 A NEW YEAR'S GREETING. And all my heart is yearning To learn what you can teach. My life is not a-tuneful To your majestic keys ; My ears are all too fevered For your pure harmonies. But, as I listen humbly, And try to understand, N A voice most sweet and solemn Comes up from off the land. I cannot tell the message, Or what the voice I hear : — It sings for all who listen — New songs for every ear ! TO MY BROTHER FRANK. When the heather's regal purple Changes into dusty hue ; And the morning brambles glisten, Filmed with webs asheen with dew : When the bracken, brown and amber, Glorifies the forest's gloom ; And the gossamers go sailing Over moors of heath and broom : When the distance grows more dreamy, Soft with lines of golden haze ; Whilst the scent of mellowing apples Fills the orchard's pleasant ways : When the children go out nutting Through the wood, and down the lane ; And the ricks are thatched and finished, > And the garners stored with grain : When the lingering flowers seem fairer 150 TO MY BROTHER FRANK. From the sense of Winter near ; And regret for Summer faded Makes the sunshine doubly dear : Then the memories re-awaken Of that sad and hallowed day When your spirit, O my brother, Passed from us and earth away. There was once a time, my brother, When you made the world to me ; When I could not dream of gladness Separate from thoughts of thee. To my childish hero-worship You were monarch in the land : Everything w r as safe and hopeful When you held me by the hand. Now the sense of separation Seldom stirs me to the heart : And I wonder to remember How I thought we ne'er should part How I used to feel 'twere hopeless To conceive what life would be If its sorrows, joys, and dangers Were not known and told to thee. TO MY BROTHER FRANK'. 151 Ah, pathetic strange reversal ! Sorrow's natural Nemesis ! Now 'twould seem as strange to see thee, As it once had seemed to miss ! Yet, although through dole or pleasure I may take my onward way, Seeming but to feel the Present, And the friendships of To-day ; This I know, — your loss is written Over all my manhood's years : Writ on plans that miss fulfilment, Writ in Failure's bitter tears : Writ in deep and strong conviction That the only path for me, Which can lead me on or upward, Is the path marked out by thee. Thus my life, beloved brother, Or in Failure or Success, Mourns in this your loss and silence, Feels in that your love's impress : And in all its deepest feelings, All its little sum of good, Answers to the recollections Of our deathless brotherhood. 152 TO MY BROTHER FRANK. Ah ! the world is all too busy ! Present joys and present strife, Drown, with Babel sound, the voices That give dignity to life. And amidst the press and hurry Of these overcrowded times, Nothing is so soon forgotten As the sound of funeral chimes. In some hearts, unseen by any* Silent sorrow may abide ; But the world compels our faces, And puts memory aside. Each hour brings its claim upon us, Every day new faces throng, All day long life's hurrying currents Bear us ruthlessly along. There seems little pause or leisure To remember, or to think. Recollection, contemplation, These, with all their issues, sink Out of sight amid the turmoil : — So much poorer, we, of heart ! We are cumbered with much serving, And we lose the better part. TO MY BROTHER FRANK. 153 Therefore I am glad September Comes each year my path across, To recall the old affection, And remind me of my loss. Therefore 'tis its pensive beauty Hath for me a voice divine, Brings to me a special message, Comes with glory and a sign. May the golden days of Autumn Always through the passing years Re-create this sweet sad sorrow, And revive these hallowing tears. Let them never cease to call me For a while from noise and strife, To a silent contemplation Of his pure and blameless life : Life he seemed to make heroic, Though a life shut in from praise, Simply by the way he lived it, And the fashion of its days : Of a path, which, spite of weakness, Bravely to the end he trod : Of his calm belief in patience ; And his simple faith in God. TO A FRIEND. Light and Peace be with you ever ! Clearness, strength, and high endeavour, Will that works, and falters never, Lead you upward into Light ! Life may give to thee her treasures, Flowers, and songs, and heaped-up pleasures, Foaming cups and brimming measures, Hopes that sparkle in their flight : Friends may cheer the way before thee ; Love may sing the old, old story ; Art display to thee her glory : Fair success her laurelled height : May you then have strength in choosing ; Joy in seeing, and in using ; Joy that brings no after losing, Holds no subtle taint of blight. TO A FRIEND. 155 But should sorrow come anear thee ; And few friendly voices cheer thee ; And your heart grow faint and weary At the daily fret and fight ; If thy Faith, by struggle broken, Fail of any certain token That a Master voice hath spoken, Or of what may be the Right ; May you then hold fast the powers That you've owned, in calmest hours, Seem to make this life of ours Most heroic and most bright. Let no siren-voice uproot thee From the faith that highest Beauty Lies in doing simplest Duty Even in your own despite. Views may change as life advances ; Present faiths grow future fancies ; Youthful hopes and young romances May grow faint, or vanish quite ; But through all things transitory, May some fair Ideal of glory, Some high Purpose, shine before thee, Cloud by day, and fire by night : 156 TO A FRIEND. Keep your faith to that unshaken ; And, whatever path be taken, Be you followed or forsaken, On your life's page it will write That New Name, mysterious, splendid, That awaits, when life is ended, Those whose knees are not found bended To things seen, or Mammon's might. Now our paths seem bound for ever : But, it may be, life's endeavour Widely may our footsteps sever, 'Mid the tumult of the fight : But or whether near, or parted, Still our love shall live, true-hearted. In life's morning it was started May it last till it be night ! A MOMENT OF FAIRYLAND. A cottage, and its garden plot, Bosomed in deep, ambrosial wood : — Flower and fruit, despising not A sweet unenvious brotherhood : — A scent of currant-bush and box, Hot with the summer : — everywhere, A blaze of blossom : — and bright flocks Of butterflies in sunlit air : — A little fairyland it seemed ! And Queen of all, by fairy lore, A girl, where light thro' foliage gleamed, Sat singing by the cottage door. The air was full of glittering wings, And all alive with pleasant sound ; Leaf-shadows lay, in quivering rings, That danced and flickered on the ground 158 A MOMENT OF FAIRYLAND. The honeysuckles overhead Swayed in the draughts of scented air : And foxglove spires, white and red, Grew either side the broken stair That sloped to where the chestnuts made Their branches roof a mossy dell, Where ferns were growing in the shade, And water dripped adown a well. The maiden sang : happy and strong, The sweet young voice rose heavenward :- It was a simple, homely song, But touched some true and perfect chord. It seemed the poem of the place — At one with all the summer day ! It, and the maiden's upturned face, Answered the sunshine every way. Once she looked round : I thought she saw My shadow as I passed along : — But no ! she dreamed on, as before — The dream that floated on the song. I felt myself some youthful prince, With plumed brow, and belted thigh : A MOMENT OF FAIRYLAND. 159 A hundred fairy tales, long since Forgotten, flashed to memory. Many a sylvan form and elf Peeped from rich bloom and leafy tree : And Puck, and Ariel herself Came riding on a bumble-bee. That was the Maiden of the Wood : — My boyhood's wonderland was found ! And as beneath those trees I stood, I felt it was enchanted ground ! I heard a voice within call loud ; The maiden rose and went inside : — The light was shut Off by a cloud : — The colour paled : — the sunlight died ! 'Twas only for a moment's space, That I beheld that woodland dell, And looked upon that Maiden's face ; But yet — though how, I cannot tell, — I touched on Fairyland that day, Just for one moment — am I wrong? — - A flash ! It came, and passed away, Upon a smile, and in a song. AT THE ALTAR-STEPS. Our life has been unfruitful, vain ; Not dedicate to Thee : — -. We have not laboured for Thy Reign : — Unworthy servants, we ! The first-fruits of our days were not Upon Thine altar placed ; But plucked, and thrown aside to rot In Youth's ungarnered waste. And Thou hast seen us dancing round The golden calves of earth ; Not staying for the thunder's sound Our thoughtless songs of mirth. Yea : with great Sinai all aflame With judgments of the years, We have but veiled our eyes with shame, And dulled with sin our ears. AT THE ALTAR-STEPS. 161 And is it now too late, good Lord ? Must we expect Thy frown ? And is there only now the sword, For us, who scorned the crown ? Ah ! but Thy mercy it is great, Broad as the steadfast heaven : It cannot ever be too late As long as hope is given. Thy Name of Father we can trust ; Trust what its meanings tell : For like a line of light 'tis thrust Athwart the glooms of hell. Our lips are ignorant of prayer ; Our knees are stiff with pride : But here — upon Thy lowest stair — We plead the Crucified. Fumes rich and rank from Sin's hot night Are steaming round us still ; And many a phantom poison-light Still stars the realms of 111 ; — M i62 AT THE ALTAR-STEPS. Still are we prone to blind our eyes, And grovel in the mud ; And Will is lame to exorcise The devil in the blood. We fall, and fall : but Thou art strong j Thy Pity will not pause : — And if Thou seest all the Wrong, Thou knowest all the Cause ! Oppressed, and torn a hundred ways ; Awed with life's mysteries ; Blinded with straining eager gaze, Into unanswering skies ; Ay, — spent with battling unseen Powers ; We turn us back at length To That which wiser heads than ours Have found was Light and Strength. So, like young children saying prayers Beside the mother's knee, We kneel us at Thine altar-stairs, And lift our hands to Thee. O, yet the birds in vale and wood are singing joyous trills ; The rains refresh the meadow lawns ; the sunshine warms the hills ; — The sunset and the dawn still come to glorify the sky ; The lilies by the waterside are blooming peacefully : — The children going down the lane, sing out, and shout for glee ; And nothing seems to miss the life that was the world to me. High up, the twittering swallows skim the air with happy flight ; Like crimson flames they flicker as they turn athwart the light 1 64 AFTER. The evening primrose wakes to keep its fairy vigil watch ; Calmly the smoke goes up from hearths beneath the cottage thatch. And pleasantly the river flows to meet the far-off sea : — And nothing seems to miss the life that was the world to me. AT DUSK. Now let us own that, one by one, The lights of life that round us shone, In hopeful youth, about our heart, Begin to darken and depart. 'Tis thus that oft the morning's gold Dies into cloud-webs, dark and cold : And rosy promises of day Are lost in skies of level gray. Sick Failure, come, and crown Success :- Come Love, join hands with Selfishness What colour is't that will not fade ? What man too lofty to degrade ? 1 66 AT DUSK. Age comes to mar youth's godlike grace ; It draws strange lines about the face : Life dwindles into narrow ways ; And silence cometh on apace. And so we come to chiefly bless, And seek for, sleep — forgetfulness : — Forgetfulness of Life's mistake^: Of hearts worn all too tough to break : Of proud, strong Youth : and Happiness : Of what the world calls our Success : And of the Memories that are known To us — ah me ! — to us alone. IN THE GREEN-ROOM. 185-. Let us walk in, and have a word or two. The Green-room : — ah ! you know it, sir, I see. Once it was thronged by sprightly wits and beaux Or so, at least, the older actors say. Now 'tis but seldom used : its day is past. Last week 'twas given up to "properties :" But it is tidy now. Shall we sit down ? You are a friend, sir, of the management. I'm glad to know you. We but seldom have The honour of a visitor — of one, At least, I care to see — behind the scenes. No, I have time enough. I am not on In this Act or the next : — a tedious part That opens famously, and makes its mark, 1 68 IN THE GREEN-ROOM. Then disappears, and is forgotten flat : And then turns up again, just at the last, And people ask, " Why, who on earth is this ? Oh yes, of course ; that man in Act the first. We had forgotten him." A part I hate. Hard work, and small effects, with tedious waits. Not tedious though to-night, and thanks to you. But the part fits me, now I come to th^nk. Hard work, and small effects, with tedious waits ! Waits, sure enough, more than enough of them. I've waited now for years, I think, for what ? Well, many things : perhaps to play King Lear, George Barnwell, Romeo, or Doricourt : — Perhaps to save enough, sir, to retire, And hoe the cabbages and celery In some suburban cottage, — happy end ! Perhaps — perhaps — who knows the foolish things I may have waited for — ay, wait for still ! I scarcely know myself; and would not tell Even to that long looking-glass (that's seen, No doubt, so much of life ! and which to-night Would make believe that I am old and gray ! This is a wig, you see : I wear it thus : IN THE GREEN-ROOM. 169 My own hair at the sides here works in well, And makes it very natural, does it not ?) Not even to that glass would I tell the things I've waited for — so long that waiting is The thing itself — for it, the thing is gone : But still the waiting, in itself a hope, Remains. And that is something in a world Where hopes, and salaries, are few, and small. I jest, you see : a little. Well, one must, I think. We players are a merry race, they say. " Merry and careless " is the character That we are labelled with by other folks. We wear the label, sir, most patiently. " Hard work, with small effects, and tedious waits," Is sometimes written on the other side. But that side we keep downwards, as is best, Read only of each other and ourselves : Save when a hand more kindly than most hands — (More clever, say; for many hands are kind.) Lifts it, and reads : and then we take that hand, And, being weak, hysterical perhaps, By nature — merriment and carelessness Turned inside out, you know — we press it — so. 170 IN THE GREEN-ROOM. To-morrow morning ? Yes : at twelve o'clock. You'll come and see me then : why, that is brave. Ev'n as the dial verges nigh to noon I shall await you at the outer gates. Forgive the actor, sir, his trick of speech, Caught from the melodramas of his youth. I knew an actor once who always spoke In grandiose, colloquial, mock blank-verse : A merry fellow with a dismal face ! ^ The expectation of a visitor Is as unusual as the hour, alas ! The midnight twelve is oftener my time, For entertainment : and the place — your ear ! — The parlour of the Swan. Ah ! you are shocked. Not shocked ! And you will meet me there ? 'Tis well. Yes, I've played many parts, sir, in my time. I've played a demon in a Pantomime : A lovely thing, sir, to have done, you'll own. I've ranged from Hamlet to A Voice Outside. We'll have a laugh at many an episode That I can tell you, — if you care to hear. IN THE GREEN-ROOM. 171 Born on the stage, sir, as the actors say. My father was an actor. As I lay, Rocked in the cradle at my mother's feet, The coverlet I slept so warm beneath Was Lady Anne's black cotton velvet robe ; — (Her favourite part.) — The earliest words I heard, The " Gentle Jesus " of good Doctor Watts, — " Now is the winter of our discontent," — And "absolutely for the last two nights." A little dingy lodging in a street That led from out an old cathedral close Is my first recollection of a home. But we were Arabs, and we pitched our tent In many places. In those days, you know, There were the Circuits, as they called them then, For the best theatres in the provinces. My father and my mother well were known Throughout the Norwich Circuit : and for years They played in all the towns about, and dreamed Of London as a dream too bright and high For real fulfilment. But they were content. The scheme of theatres and professional life Is changed : I speak of times quite passed away. 172 IN THE GREEN-ROOM. They had their little social circles then, Nice, quiet, homely folk : and for their art, I'm minded to believe they knew it, sir, Far better than our actors know theirs now. But let that pass. The new school always smiles Over the fond traditions of the old. No one can quite decide — opinions all ! And I have mine : and so we'll let~that pass. My mother. Ah, I still am but a child At thought of her. She was an angel, sir. She entertained the world, not the world her. The world was singularly unaware. But women far less talented than she Have made a name, — whilst she — ah, well, poor dear ! — Her name is on a few old play-bills still ; (I have them in my box) and somewhere too In that Great Book of Life where blameless lives Are written, as she taught me at her knee. I cannot speak about her very well. Childhood still holds me when I think of her. 'Tis well, in such a life as mine has been To have a corner where your manhood stops, IN THE GREEN-ROOM. 173 Drops down upon its stiffened knees awhile, And says its " Gentle Jesus " like a child. I talk too much. Your kindness leads me on. Keep we our linen and our wool apart. Look at this girl : she plays our Chambermaids. Pretty? — a good girl, too. " God ye good den," Your scene just coming on? There! you are "called." You'll see Bill Turner in a private box Upon the prompt side. Ah ! he's come to see The local talent, and to find a " star " For his next Pantomime : so now's your chance ! Laugh out your best. Her laugh, sir, is her forte. You know this gentleman, my dear? — ah, so ! There : laugh like that, and Turner offers you Your twenty pounds a week. Go in, and win. A good girl : — did you notice how she laughed ? A pretty laugh — a very pretty laugh ! It moves me deeply, for — I weary you ! No? — well, I will talk. I'm garrulous to-night. What was I saying ? Oh, her laugh ; — ah, yes : I said it moved me, did I ? Yes : of course : Such laughter moves us all, you know. The dullest audience fain must answer it. i 74 IN THE GREEN-ROOM. I did not mean that ? how do you know that ? You read between the lines ! — an actor born ! Go on the stage : you'd prosper well, I'm sure. A very good stage face and figure too. You'd make a perfect County Paris now ; Charles Surface, too. — We'll see you on the boards. Rub once against the wings, you're booked ! --. ^Her laugh ? It moves me ; yes. For it reminds me, sir, Of laughter I have heard. A silvery laugh, That laughed me first to happiness, then scorn ! The old, old story ? Yes, no doubt : though told, As it is always told, as if the tale Were heard then for the first and only time. When will it tire of being told and heard ? Well, that would be the saddest day of all. Come, old, old story ; sung, or whispered low ; Given in laughter, or in silent gaze ; All ears are straining for you ! even mine, Dulled with the voices of my many years, Under this wretched wig and feathered hat, Still listen to your echoes ; and confess I would not lose them, though they hurt me so. IN THE GREEN-ROOM. 175 'Twas thirty years ago, at Christmas time : Red Riding Hood : I was a youngster then, Scarce twenty-two, and played the harlequin. Can you be interested in the life, The very human life and happiness, Of this young harlequin ? His limbs were strong Beneath the spangles and the red and gold. And all the passion of a heart that loves, That loves, and hopes, and has its world to win, Made the wild folly of the " comic scenes " A drama that was beautiful to him. " The short, but simple annals of the poor " Doubtless read strangely to the rich and great. The loves of harlequin and columbine Are difficult to treat of seriously. Were I elsewhere, or you — well, not yourself — I should not try to do so. But this room, My wig and paint perhaps, that massive cup Of gilder plaister, with its paper flowers, Befit the tale : and, stranger still to say, Give it a life and make it natural. My mother did not act when things went well 176 IN THE GREEN-ROOM. With me — at least not since my father's death : And that same Christmas things went very well. For I was what they call " a useful man " Upon the stage. Old men, or youthful swains, Comedy, Tragedy, Melodrama, Farce, Ready for all and each was I, in turn. A famous dancer, too. And, as it chanced, Just as the Pantomime was well rehearsed, Our harlequin falls ill. Catastrophe^ The management is in despair. I go : And, for a rise of salary, consent To fill the gap. And so, on Boxing night, I leap with mask and bat upon the stage A full-grown harlequin. You see I speak About myself : 'tis easier. For, of Her I find it hard to speak. 'Tis difficult To tell a tale if different points of view Are seen : some plainlier than your own. Then I was blind to all save what I felt. Now I can see, and, seeing, I grow dumb. I was to blame. Yet telling all the tale 'Twould seem the telling gave some sort of blame To her, although I blamed myself alone. IN THE GREEN-ROOM. 177 Think of us not in spangles and in gauze, But in a cloth coat and a simple gown : Yes, it was simple then, in those old days. Ah ! we were happy ! and she laughed a laugh That laughed away all reason and all thought. My mother went upon the stage again. The old black velvet robe of Lady Anne, — Ah, God forgive me ! — it was trimmed afresh. She went from me. She told me once for all, Bravely and simply, what she thought and felt. " I cannot stay. No shame has ever touched My home," she said, " in childhood, or as wife. My father, mother, husband, all have walked A difficult world with footsteps clean and firm. My son, I hoped, would always follow theirs. Till now, he has : but now — I cannot stay. Yet ere I go I use the mother's right To tell you what you do, and how you stand. You love the girl : — Love has no choice, I know : — Marry her, and your love may make her true. 'Twere best I should not stay, were she your wife : 'Twere worse than worst to stay as things are now. You are a man — and you must choose your path." N 178 IN THE GREEN-ROOM. I did. No man lets any hand divide His love and him, if he be truly man. She went. The hand that all my life I'd held, Upheld by it at first, upholding next, Was loosed from mine — and so I went my way. But, sir, they met again one day, those hands. When I was — left alone, she came to me. I lay unconscious, stricken nigh tQ death. We never parted more. She had ns word Of blame or anger then. She understood. An angel, as the phrase goes — nothing less ! When I was left alone, I said : ah, yes ; — It came to that, of course, it came to that : — Foregone conclusions, sir : a tale oft told ! Two years of happiness, of love, of joy ! I give the memory its due. 'Tis bright. Even the bitter memory is sweet. Joy passed is oft forgotten or ignored ; And if it brought the candle and the sheet, Is sometimes charged with never having been ! I do not so. The joy was full and sweet. Those two years are the centre of my life. The bond between us riveted itself IN THE GREEN-ROOM. 179 With ties of time as well as those of love : When all was snapped and broken like a thread. How did it come about ? Why, thus : the hope That really lay the nearest to her heart Was hope of fame, and rising in her art. Oh, she was clever on the stage, that's sure. At last — after those two short happy years — A man of influence, we'll name no names, Saw her one night. I heard about it all Long afterwards. The offer came to her. A London theatre and the leading parts. An offer that might dazzle any one. The thing she'd always dreamed of : here it was ! And with but one condition : — that not hard, How could it be ? — to leave me. And she went. The silvery laughter died from out my life. Once only have I heard it since. Four years Had passed, and Time had done its usual work : — Is it beneficent or terrible ? Time's smiles are always somewhat sinister : — My life had reached a level once again. 1S0 IN THE GREEN-ROOM. She came down with a London company. A few of us stock actors were kept on As " understudies." When the morning came — 'Twas Monday — they arrived on Sunday night — My mother urged me not to go : she feared I know not what. I told her not to fear. I went. They were rehearsing : and I stood Deep in the shadow. She was on the stage. She knew that I was in the company,; But she had grown a skilful actress now Both on and off the stage. She looked about, And saw me standing in the shadow there. No recognition moved her smiling face. The laughter rippled on. The place was dark. And, going out, I stumbled on a trap. And fell : — a foolish little accident Which brought them kindly round me in a crowd. Not hurt ? — How fortunate ! — a nasty fall ! — And did I think that it was Boxing night, I harlequin ? the low comedian asked. They laughed it off. She laughed. I listened hard, And thought — or was it that I liked to think ? — It did not ring quite true to life that time. The prompter told me some time afterwards IN THE GREEN-ROOM. 181 She asked if I was cast to act with her, And when told, " no," he thought that she was glad. The fellow, meaning kindly, I am sure, Tried hard to tell me more of what she asked, Etcetera — etcetera — but I, I changed the subject. Let us change it now. You'll find my den a very curious place. I gave you the address. A narrow street : A forge exactly opposite the house : A great place all ablaze with furnaces : Dante's Inferno in a modern street. Sometimes, on short dark days, the crimson light Stencils the window all across the room, And on the ceiling — quite a weird effect. My mother ? — no, sir : died ten years ago. I miss her sorely, even to this day. No one at home to keep the supper warm, Or give the welcoming word that makes a home. 'Twere better for me were she living still ; But not for her, — I'm very sure of that. The Swan sees me too often now. But then What matters ? twelve o'clock must come ! Ring down the curtain, and go home to bed. i82 IN THE GREEN-ROOM. And if the home be — well ! — what's the address ? — You have it on the card : — why, on the way, A glass, a smoke, a little friendly chat Is pleasant. You will find me at the Swan. The act is ended. Hark ! a double call ! I'm glad, sir, for the honour of the house. A London manager is here to-night : And that girl ought to make herself X name. Another act to wait ! a tedious part. I score, though, at the last — a splendid scene ! Folks have forgotten all about me clean : The lady thinks I'm dead, and all's condoned ; And then, when everything is going well, I enter : Tableau ! a fine scene — immense ! But things don't happen so in life, I fear. Good-night, and thank you. I have talked too much. Blame your own kindness : and, if you forgive, At twelve, to-morrow, come to me. To-night, In this queer, gas-lit room, and in this dress, False hair, and paint, and armour made of tin, I've babbled of realities of life : To-morrow, in my habit as I live, IN THE GREEN-ROOM. 183 With the blast-furnace lighting up the room, I'll tell you of my mimic life, the stage. I shall expect you. Now I must be off To make myself grown old by twenty years. The process is soon done. I know it well. You go in front ? Give me a friendly hand. THE END. Printed by R & R. Clark Edinlmrgh. A LIST OF KEG AN PAUL, TRENCH & CO.'S PUB LIC A TIONS. 8. S6 I, Paternoster Square, London. A LIST OF XEGAN PAUL, TRENCH & CO.'S PUBLICATIONS. CONTENTS. PACE General Literature. . 2 Parchment Library . . 20 Pulpit Commentary . . 23 International Scientific Series . . . .32 -^ PAGE Military Works. , . 35 Poetry . ^ . . . .36 Novels and Tales . . 42 Books for the Young . 44 GENERAL LITERATURE. A. K. H. B. — From a Quiet Place. A Volume of Sermons. Crown 8vo, 5s. 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