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 3 1822 02243 2363 


 
 THE 
 
 PORTFOIilO: 
 
 A SELECTION OF 
 
 Hitcratj) (JlTutiogitice, 
 
 INCLUDING 
 
 REMARKABLE EVENTS 
 ANECDOTES OF WIT & LEARNING 
 CELEBRATED DITELS 
 INGENIOUS CALCUL.\TIONS 
 QUERIES AND EPIGRAMS 
 
 BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCHES 
 INTERESTING TRIALS 
 REMARKABLE DISCOVERIES AND 
 
 INVENTIONS 
 AMUSING NARRATIVES 
 
 TO WHICH IS ADDED, 
 
 jx (smm(DSf(Dm(£>(^^AiL wAmiLm 
 
 GENERAIi HISTORY, 
 
 FROM THE 
 
 CREATION OF THE WORLD TO THE PRESENT TIME. 
 
 PRINTED FOR THE COMPILER, BY GVE AND BALNE, 
 38, GRACECHURCH-STREET. 
 
 1820.
 
 li i!
 
 ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 THU Compiler of this Publication may compare himself to a 
 caterer for many palates. As it is his xcish to please ally he has 
 taken care to provide that variety irhich is likely to suit the 
 general taste ; and laying no claim to any other merit than that 
 of a Compiler, (being, as Wot rocs'* expresses it, but " the 
 Collector and Gatherer of other Men^s Stvjfs,^^ ) he trusts, that 
 a claim so modest, will not fail of at least meeting protection. 
 
 Perhaps a fete words might be alloived on the utility of such 
 a work. 
 
 The Reader will here find recorded, many remarkable and 
 authentic Occurrences, some of them important, others amusing, 
 which originating in the journals of the day, might otherwise 
 have been consigned to oblivion. 
 
 The Man of Letters will be gratified at meeting with many 
 teresting Anecdotes of Learning and Learned Men. 
 
 The Admirer of History will find several important Documents 
 not generally recorded; and many amusing Particulars, whose 
 minuteness have precluded them from larger works. 
 
 The Lover of Anecdote will have his penchant gratified by an 
 ample collection, some of which are of eminent Persons %cho have 
 shone conspicuous in our own times.
 
 IV ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 In a wordy the Poet, the Philosopher, the Man of Study and 
 o/* Leisure, awe? //te General Reader, ?ci7/ eacA be certain of find- 
 ing something interesting ; and irhen it is reflected, that although 
 a Compilation, some industry and judgment must have been exerted 
 to collect from sources so foreign to each other, such a varuty 
 of matter, the greater part of which, not entirely new, has not 
 yet been made generally public, the Publisher, tmsts his labours 
 will be rewarded by the smiles of vopular approbation. 
 
 yfHi
 
 A COLLECTION OF 
 
 LITERARY CURIOSITIES, 
 
 'Epitapljd auO i^tonumrntal Uniictiptiond, 
 BIOGRAPHICAL 
 
 S/ictchcs of eminent Men, and remarkable Characters, 
 AVOXDKiULL EVENTS, 
 
 INTERESTING NARRATIVES, ENIGMAS, EPIGRAMS, 
 
 l)ottical ^cUctioniS, 
 
 Fragments, Misctlianeous Pieces, 6<fc» 
 
 A ludicrous Description •fthe various j 
 4'haracttra and Complexions of 
 Headers : 
 
 The Supnficial Reader^The Idle i 
 Reader — The >iltrpy Render — The 
 Peevish Rtadtr — ihe Candid Rea- 
 der — And, The Conjectural Reader. 
 
 IN this age, so enrirhed by the inun- 
 dations (»f the |)res<;, every author 
 is to presume that all his readers are 
 learned, — no one bcinj; willinj; to dis- 
 pute a title which may call in question 
 the validity of his own. 
 
 The Superficial Reader is one who 
 finds no leisure, or inclination, for more 
 literature than he can take in over a 
 loitering breakfast, or whilst his hair- 
 dresser is adjusting his person. He 
 contents himself with extracts from 
 newspapers, magazines, and reviews, — 
 skims over title-pages and indexes, and 
 adding to them the smuggled opinions 
 of tho«e who look deeper into books, 
 passes at routs and tea-tables for a 
 welNread gentleman. 
 
 The Idle Reader is the reverse of 
 the former.- -lie is a great peruser 
 of little volunjes, but reads without 
 method, or pursuit, not making know- 
 ledge, but amusenunt, his object. 
 
 He is, in one sense, of the happiest 
 class, for lie is in no danger of ever 
 reading hiniself out; so many per- 
 sons being daily employed to perpe- 
 tuate his pleasure*, by seducing no- 
 >eU— little histories, w hirh familiarize 
 the arts of intriguing — Memoirs of 
 Prostitutes — Anecdotes of Women of 
 
 Quality and Lives of Highway* 
 
 men. 
 
 The Sleepy Reader is ever a man 
 of a dull, languid temjjeranKnt, hotli 
 of body and mind.— He takes up a 
 book when he can do nothing else, 
 [ and pores over it, till it drops from 
 I his hand ;— or if by repeated attacks 
 he fairly arrives at the Finis of a vo- 
 lume, he has waded through it so 
 between sleeping and waking, that it 
 is often a doubt with himself whether 
 he has read it at all.
 
 g Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wonderful E-coifs, 
 
 No works of j^enius are ever seen 
 on his shelves, tiiey are of too stimu- 
 lating a nature, and would defeat his 
 purpose, — but a plenty of soporific 
 treatises, under the varied titles of 
 Journals, Annotations, Books of Con- 
 troversy, and Metaphysical Disserta- 
 tions. 
 
 An oW relation of mine, who died 
 a martyr to the gout, used, as he sat 
 in his study, to estimate his books not 
 from the pleasure, but from the good 
 naps they had afforded him. " This, 
 cousin," said he, (pointing round the 
 room with his crutch) " this is a com- 
 poser, this a dozer, every twenty 
 pages of this excallent author is as 
 comfortable as a glass of poppy-water. 
 I believe I was near three months 
 sleeping through yonder large volume, 
 and to this worthy little gentleman on 
 the middle shelf, I was indebted for 
 two admirable nights rest, when a 
 chalk stone was forming in my toe. 
 But my most valuable friend is this 
 set of books by the side of my couch. 
 1 call them my grand opiate, and, 
 as a mark of distinction, my flannel 
 night-cap generally lies upon them. 
 
 The Peevish Reader is made up of 
 conceit and ill-humour. He cavils 
 with the design, the colouring, or the 
 finishing, of every piece that comes 
 before him. Few have sufficient merit 
 t» extort his approbation — he had 
 rather even be silent than commend, 
 and finds his highest satisfaction in 
 discovering faults. A man of this cast 
 is an object of compassion; for, in the 
 imperfect slate of human labours, he 
 must pass his time very miserably ! 
 
 But let us lea\e him to the severe 
 destiny of never being pleased. To 
 counterpoise his spleen, behold the 
 Candid Reader appears. Amiable spi- 
 rit! in thee I contemplate the gen- 
 tleman, the scholar, the true critic! 
 slow to censure, eager to applaud; 
 Convinced by what arduous steps su- 
 perior excellence isattained, thy liberal 
 mind cherisheth every effort of genius, 
 
 and unwillingly condemns what thy 
 correct judgment cannot approve. 
 
 But, Candid Reader! thy character 
 hath been more happily delineated by 
 a long-admired writer ; quoting whose 
 lines I cannot resist this occasion to 
 say, that they are strongly descriptive 
 of the amiableuess of his own. 
 
 — " Yes, they whom candor amd trne(a8<e 
 inspire, 
 
 " Blame not with half the passion they ad- 
 mire; 
 
 " Each little blemish witli rrjjret descry, 
 
 " But mark the beauties with a rapiur'd 
 eye." 
 
 The Conjectural Reader brings up 
 the rear; in speaking of whom 1 de- 
 sire to be understood as confining my 
 remarks solely to conjectural criticism. 
 He is, or should be, a man of parts, 
 who exercises his ingenuity on de- 
 ceased writers, by clearing up passages 
 he supposes they left obscure, and 
 interpreting them by his own concep- 
 tions — discovering beauties where the 
 author perhaps intended none, and 
 tracing ©ul meanings he might never 
 have in view. 
 
 Rodolphus Gander Guytche, the 
 famous Professor at the University of 
 Hall, in his preface to the three sup- 
 plemental volume of his Commentaries, 
 printed in folio at Leipiic, mentions 
 that it was his constant custom, while 
 engaged in that elaberate work, to ru- 
 minate on his subject in his great chair, 
 till he insensibly fell asleep: "During 
 which time (says he) 1 alw ays found 
 that my thoughts digested themselves 
 into matterand method, and, on awak- 
 ing, I was able ihe more successfully 
 to |)rosecute my labours." 
 
 I wish the example of this valuable 
 critic may not have too much influ- 
 enced succeeding commentators; some 
 of whom, adopting the professor's nap- 
 ping chair, without possessing his art 
 of rising from it with a clear head, 
 have not aiways sufficiently separated 
 their dream from their subject.
 
 Interesting Narrathes^ Enigmas^ Epigrams^ Poetry^ Ssc. 3 
 
 EcctnU'kilies of Morland, the 
 Painter. 
 
 Mr. GEORGE MORLAND, on 
 
 his return to town, from Deal, where 
 he had been to make skelclics alon^ 
 the coast, travelled on foot, accom 
 panied by liis brother-in-law, Mr. 
 WiliiaHis, the ei graver: ihey hid pro- 
 ceeded a short distance tVoni Can- 
 terbury, when Morland intimated the 
 clamorous demand made by his crav- 
 ing appetite tor rel'reshment ; but 
 how to procure the necessary fare, be- 
 came a subject of consideration, as 
 both our travellers, in consequence 
 of extravagance the preceding even- 
 ing, were |)ennyless ; Morland, how- 
 ever, who was sfldoni at a loss to 
 obtain introduction into an alehouse, 
 quickly hit upon an expedient to 
 serve their purpose: — Observing a 
 Jow-buiit liouse by the road•^ide, over 
 which hung a figure designed for a 
 Bull, he entered; and, under pretence 
 of inquiring his way, commenced a 
 conversation with the landlord, ex- 
 pressing his surprise the latter did 
 not renew his sign, whicji time had 
 nearly defaced. The host stated his 
 inability to get it repaired, and ob- 
 served it was pood enough to grace 
 his humble habitation ; but, on the 
 offer of Morland to paint him a new 
 one for five shillings, he consented, 
 and ordered the artist to try his skill. 
 A fresh ditticulty however occurred 
 Morland was without utensils, and 
 the sign could not be painted unless 
 the landlord dispatched a servant to 
 purchase colours, &c. at Canterbury, 
 which he was, after much persuasion, 
 prevailed upon to do; in the mean 
 time the painter bespoke a dinner, 
 and the travellers drank several pitch- 
 ers of good ale, with a proportion- 
 able quantity of spirits, the charge for 
 which could only be defrayed by 
 painting the sign ; their reckoning, 
 however, by the time the Bull was 
 doue, doubled the stipulated five shil- 
 
 I lings, and Morland pacified the enra- 
 I ged landlord (who reluctantly suf- 
 fered them to depart) by describing 
 who he was, and promising to call on 
 a future day, and pay the balance. 
 On his arrival in town, Morland relat- 
 ed this advsnlure among his friends, 
 at the HMle-in-the-Wall, Fleet-street, 
 and the singularity of it induced a 
 ijentleman, who possessed the highest 
 veneration for the painter's produc- 
 tions, to set oft' privately in search 
 of the Canterbury Bull, which he 
 purchased of the landlord for ten 
 guineas, and finding it answer his 
 most sanguine expectation, phiceci 
 it in his cabinet, uliere it now re- 
 mains, considered as a valuable acqui- 
 sition. Morland's liberality among 
 his pot companions seldom failed to 
 leave him without a shilling, and as 
 constantly as he needed supply, his 
 pencil went to work to procure more. 
 During the time he was confined in 
 the King's Bench, it w as a custom to 
 pledge his pictures with a pawn-bro- 
 ker in the Borough, who knew the 
 artist's ability, and seldom failed to 
 send the sums required, which ge- 
 nerailv bore but small proportion to 
 the value of the picture. His impa- 
 tience for the 77'a6(y rhino frequently 
 made him send paintings wet from 
 the hand, with directions to the bearer 
 not to rub or dcfjce them; and one 
 of the latter description, a farmyard 
 with pigs, done in his peculiar style 
 of excellence, was dispatched to his 
 Lombardy friend, with a polite re- 
 quest for three guineas, and an 
 injunction to preserve it frcni harn), 
 as it was designed for a high person- 
 age. The pawnbroker received the 
 geni'safc from the hand* of the bearer 
 and was conveying it with all possible 
 care to a place of security, when 
 unfortunately he slipped going up 
 stairs, and brought his cloathing iu 
 contact with the head and fore-parts 
 of a hog, which he entirely defaced. 
 The picture being thus spoiled, was 
 B 2
 
 Uierary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 sent back to Morland to re-toucli 
 with an excuse for the acciflent ; tin 
 painter, however, complained of tlic 
 pawnbroker's inattention, and refused 
 to repair the injury for less than fi\e 
 guineas, alleging it would take hiw 
 an hour to replace the hog in il^ 
 original situation. This demand was 
 considered a ino>t unconscionable 
 extortion by the pawnbroker, and In- 
 refused the terms, but in conse(iuencf 
 of being threatened with an action 
 for the value of the picture, laid at 
 thirty pounds, at last reluctantly 
 acceded to Morland's demand, who 
 gave a liberal treat to his friends upon 
 the occasion. 
 
 Observations concerning Epitaphs. 
 
 Praises on Tombs are trifles vainly spent ; 
 A man's good name is bis best Monument. 
 
 WHENEVER I pass through a 
 Church-Yard, 1 am naturally led to 
 read the Epitaphs on the Tomb-stones; 
 and indeed the curiosity to peruse the 
 Inscriptions of a Dormitory, or Burial- 
 place, is not only natural to nianv. 
 but likely and calculated to instruct 
 all, from the richest to the poorest, 
 from the King to the Begger, and from 
 the most noble to the most unknown. 
 
 To observe the various dates of the 
 deceased, some in the dawn of life, 
 othersin their full vigourand maturity, 
 and a third class in the vale of years, 
 all equally liable t», and as siiddcnl\ 
 mown down by, the stroke of Deatli, 
 as so many hapless trophies of his all- 
 conquering power, cannot but suggest 
 reflections on the uncertainty of our 
 present existence, and intimate the 
 necessityof preparing for our last great 
 change. 
 
 But how careful should survivors 
 be, to prevent the abuse of fulsome in- 
 scriptions and flattering panegyricks. 
 What folly is it to make a 'man's 
 Tomb-stone bcly his past conduct, 
 and declare that which is too well 
 
 Known to bo false and spurious! 
 W iiat matters it to those who are got 
 beyond the reach of mortals, to be 
 praised, idolized and exali^d by the 
 passing multitude, if their names are 
 not written in the Book of Life, and 
 their good deeds follow them into a 
 state of glory ! .'Mas! How vain, trif- 
 ling and iiisigiiific.iHt are the appi ll.i- 
 tions of Right Hoiionrablr and his 
 Grace, it unarronipanied by Virtue, 
 Piety, and Bcnrfolencc! 'I'hey are 
 but empty names or gilded nothings, 
 in the views of the discerning and 
 judicious, and the estimations of 
 Omniscience. 
 
 By an nfftctionnte »'i/e, on her Uu.%hand. 
 
 O, cruel Death! how could you be so un- 
 kind, 
 
 As to take he berore, and leave me behind ; 
 
 Yon should have taken both of u\, if either. 
 
 Which would liave been more agreeable to 
 the (-urvivor. 
 
 On a Coblcr. 
 Df.ath at a cobler'* door oft made a uland, 
 Dnt alwHys found himon the mrii<ftn^; liand; 
 \t length Death came, in very dirty Weather, 
 .And ripp'd the ftoul from off the ujiper lea- 
 
 thtr: 
 The cobler call'd for his awl,— Death gave 
 
 his last, 
 And buried in oblivion all the pa-st. 
 
 ON JOHN COLE, 
 
 }Vho died suddenly vchile at dinner. 
 
 H.-.RE lies JOHNNV I'OLH, 
 
 Who died, on my koni, 
 After eating a plentiful dinner; 
 While chrsviuff his rru«l. 
 He was turned into dust. 
 With his crimen und i jested, ~]uior sinner! 
 
 SHREWSBURY CHURCH-YARD. 
 On an Old Maid. 
 Hkrk lies the body of Martha Dia*, 
 Who wa« always uneasy, and not over 
 
 pions ; 
 She livd to the a^e of threescore and ten. 
 And gave that to the worm* the refns'd to 
 the men.
 
 Inferestins Nnrratives^ Enis^mas^ Epis^rams^ Poetrf/, Sfc. 5 
 
 Said to been a Turn b- St out- at ABLixaro\, 
 near Paris. 
 
 Hkrf. lie 
 Two ^rand-molhers vrilh tlieir Iwn graixi 
 
 datiRhter-, 
 Two hii»haii(l« wilh their Iwn %vivt>». 
 Two faiher'i wiih tlieir two daiigliU-r*, 
 Two nMiluTK with tlit'ir twti hoiu. 
 TwD rii idfiis Willi iluir two iiinilirrx, 
 Two <ii«ler> w ilh their l« o hrnlliiT«. 
 Yet but fix cnrpi in all lie buripil here. 
 All hora legitimate, and fruin iacesit clear. 
 
 Explanation. 
 
 Two vridow»* that were «i<>ler«-in-law 
 had each ^4 "on, mho married earh oilier'- 
 mother, and hv them h:id earh a dau:;ht<'r 
 
 Siippo^e one \Md()w>i name Mary, and 
 her "oo" name .lohii, and the other widows 
 name Sarah, and her ton's Jame», thi« aa- 
 ■weri the fourth line. 
 
 Then suppose John married .'^arah, and 
 bad a daughter l>y lier, and .lame<. married 
 Mary, aud had a daii£;hli-r alM>, ilit>e ni r 
 ria;;.o an-wer thffir»l, >econd, third, liflb. 
 and 8ixlh line of the ei i'aph. 
 
 Origin of the Ancient Rewnrd oj 
 Connubial Affntion at Ihinmow. 
 
 (From C'rayley aid Pritlon-* Heatities t)f 
 Kngland.) 
 
 THR ancient Hud well known cus 
 toni of this manor, (»f Helivcrin'j ;> 
 Gammon, or t'titvh of liacon, to aiix 
 married couple »h<> wouNI take » 
 prescribed oatli. is supposed, bv soin« 
 writem, to have originated in the 
 Saxon f)r Norman times: others attri 
 bute ilsinstitutioiiJo tlie Fitz-\\ alters, 
 but witli what proprit-tv is unrerlain. 
 It appears, however, from tlie different 
 entries in the re-aisfer, as ' secutxium 
 Jorniiimd ountionis,' and ' secundum 
 chorttr formdm,' lo have bee u iinpos 
 ed on the p(J5s«'ssors of tiie manoi 
 by sonic benefactor. The earliest 
 delivery of the b.icon, on record, 
 occurred in the 'J3d of Henry VI 
 when Ilichard ^Vright, of Riadhours« 
 in Norfolk, baxii.f: been duK swori. 
 before the I'rioi and Convent, h'' 
 a tliich of B'icon delivered to liini 
 agreeably to tlie tenure. The cer' 
 monial estabhshed for the>>e occasioi. 
 coniiisted in the claiinaut'ii kiiteiiu. 
 
 on two sharp poinled stones in the 
 ' hurch-yard. aiul there, after solenm 
 luintiiL', and olher rites, performed 
 l)v the Convent, taking the following 
 uath: — 
 
 ■•Veu Hhall (.wear hy fii«tom of cnnre«sinn. 
 Thai )oii ne'er made niip iai iranHgression, 
 Vor "itice J on «ere uiarrsed nun and wife, 
 
 ty household hrawN or c(»ntenliou8 strife, 
 l>r ulherwiKe at l>ed or at board 
 ' '(Tended each other m deed or in word ; 
 '•r ••inre the pari«h-clerk "aid .Vinen, 
 Wished yoiiri«elve>i unmarried mi^hiu; 
 
 •r in a twi Ivi month and a day, 
 'lepeiited not in thi>ii»lii any way; 
 
 'ill eonliiined trite in lhon^hl and de«ire, 
 
 ix when yoii joined hand" in holy quire. 
 If to ttiene condilionx »ithonl all fear, 
 Of yonr own accord you N>ili fr. ely swear, 
 A whole Gitininon of Bacon you shall 
 receivt , 
 
 Knd hrar it benre with love and ^ood leave; 
 For tlii< our cu<tom at Dnumow well 
 known. 
 
 riio' the pleasure be our ':), Ibe bacon'H year 
 own." 
 
 Tn the Chartnlary of the Priory, 
 now in the liritish .Museum, three 
 iierjons are recortled lo have received 
 I he bac«)n previous to the suppression 
 of the religious uses, bince that 
 period also, the bacon has been thrice 
 lelivered; in these cases the ceremo- 
 nies have heen performed at a court- 
 baron for the manor, held by the 
 -ileward. The last p»'rs<>ns ihat receiv- 
 ed it, were John Sh.ikeshanks, wool- 
 nnber, and Ann, his wif<', of Wet- 
 .erstield, who estdbiislud their njilit 
 -n the 2()th of June, 1751. Mr. 
 fotii^h mentions the custom as aboU 
 <^hed, but we understand it is only 
 •I .rmant, cither tlirou::;h the want of 
 <-laimants, or from their neuhct to 
 uforce the demand. Several of the 
 lallett faiiiil\, who possessed the 
 iianor, lie bu'ied in the church. 
 
 '\TRicirs cried — "While you've existence, 
 "wp, son, p ebeians al .1 distance!' 
 iiiw speech a butcher overheard, 
 .nd quick replied—* 1 wish, my lord, 
 . ou'd thus, ad^ is'd, before your son 
 -o deeply ia m^ debt bad run I'
 
 6 Literar}/ Curiosities^ Epifaphs, Wonderful Etents, 
 
 Enigma in praise of Women. * 
 
 HAPPY (hat mau may pass his life, 
 "Who s free from matrimonial chains; 
 Who is directed by a wife, 
 Is sure to suffer for his pains. 
 
 What tongne is able to unfold 
 The falsehood which in women dwell? 
 The worth in women >ou behold 
 Is almost imperceptible. 
 
 Adam could find no solid peace 
 W^hen Eve was given him for a mate; 
 Till he beheld a woman's face, 
 Adam was in a happy state. 
 
 See, in the female race appear 
 "^ Hypocrisy, deceit, and pride; 
 Truth, darling of a heart siacere, 
 la women never can reside. 
 
 They're always studying to employ 
 Their time in malice and in lies; 
 Their leisure hours in virtuous joy 
 To spend, ne'er in their thoughts arise« 
 
 Destruction take the men, I say, 
 Who make the fair their chief delight ; 
 Who no regard to women pay, 
 Keep reason always in their sight. 
 
 * By reading the first and third lines to- 
 gefher the Enigma is explained. 
 
 Divers Customs respecting Marriage. 
 
 THE ancient Romans had two kinds 
 of marriage, taking two wives, ans- 
 werable to the different ceremonies, 
 'i'he one was the more common, and 
 called " Matron," while the other 
 was stiied " mother of the family" 
 The marriage ceremony with this latter 
 kind of wives was not unlike that at 
 present in use anjong Christians. Tiie 
 man used to demand of the woman, 
 " if she would be mother and mis- 
 tress of his family ;" to which she con- 
 sented by saying " Yes," and then 
 asked him " if he would be father of 
 "the family;" to which he likewise 
 answering in the affiimative, they join- 
 ed their hands together; and this 
 marriage was held for lawful. The 
 other marriage had less of cere- 
 mony in it, nor were the women so 
 married accepted as mother of the 
 
 families, though they were called 
 matrons. 
 
 The Romans had likewise another 
 custom. When the newly married 
 woman was brought to her husband's 
 house, she must stand at the door, 
 and not enter, till she was drawn in 
 by force. When she was in the house 
 she was seated in her mother's lap, 
 from whence the husband forcibly 
 took her, while the daughter embrac- 
 ing the mother, from whom she parted 
 with much reluctance. 
 
 A third custom among the Romans 
 was, that when a man married a wi- 
 dow, the solemnity was kept on a 
 festival day; but if he wedded a 
 maid, it was kept on an ordinary 
 working day. The reasons assigned 
 for this distinction were, that the 
 people engaged in their sports and 
 recreations, should take no notice 
 when widows were a second time 
 married; on the contrary, the wed- 
 dings of maids were solemnized on 
 common days, because they should 
 be seen, and generally known. 
 
 It should seem, by these customs, 
 that the Romans looked on the mar- 
 riage of virgins as honourable, and 
 that of a woman who look a second 
 husband, carrying with it an idea of 
 indelicacy. 
 
 Tlie Tinker's good Fortune, 
 
 THE following story is told of 
 Phi LI p, the great duke of Burgundy : 
 The Duke stayed, at the marriage of 
 Eleonora, sister to the king of Por- 
 tugal, at Bruges, in Flanders, which 
 was solemnized in the depth of win- 
 ter; and when by unseasonable wea- 
 ther he was unable either to hawk or 
 hunt, and being tired of the amuse- 
 ments of the court, he used fre- 
 quently, at night, to walk about the 
 town, ill disguise. 
 
 It happened, as he was walking 
 late one night, he found a country- 
 fellow dead dtunlf, snoring on a bulk;
 
 Intere<tting Narrathes, Enigmas, Epigrams^ Poetry^ 8fC. 7 
 
 he caused liis followers to biing him 
 to his palace, and tlierc stripping him 
 of Iiis old clothes, and attiring hiui 
 after the court fashion, when he 
 awaked, he and tliey were all readv 
 to attend on his excellency, and per- 
 suade him that he was some great 
 duke. 
 
 The poor fellow, admiring how he 
 came there, was served in state all 
 the day lonjr: after supper, he saw 
 thenj dance, heard music, and par- 
 took of other court recreations: but 
 late at night, when he was well tip- 
 pled, and again fast asleep, they put 
 on his old robes, and so conveyed 
 him to the place where they first 
 found him. Now the fellow had not 
 made them so good sport the day be- 
 fore, as he did now, when he returned 
 to himself: — all '.he jest was to see 
 how he looked upon it. — In conclu- 
 sion, after some little admiration, the 
 poor man told his friends he had seen 
 a vision, constantly believed it, would 
 not otherwise be persuaded, and the 
 jest ended. 
 
 77ie following history of Thomas 
 Parker, who lately died in America 
 and u^o was an active naval officer 
 during the late war, is extracted 
 Jrom his log-book : 
 
 "FIPvST part of the voyage*, — 
 pleasant, witli fine breezes and free 
 winds — all sail set. Spoke many ves- 
 sels in want of provisions — supplied 
 Ihem freely. 
 
 *' Middle passage. — Whether varia- 
 ble — short of provisions — spoke se- 
 veral of the above vessels our supplies 
 had enabled to refit — made signals of 
 distress— they up helm and bore 
 awayf. 
 
 " Latter part. — Boisterous, with 
 contrary winds — current of adversity 
 
 • AllndiDi^ to the early part of his life. 
 
 t Those whom be had formerly befriend- 
 ed, now, in bis distress, refuse bim assist- 
 ance. 
 
 setting hard to leeward— towards the 
 
 end of the passage it cleared up 
 
 with the quadrant of honesty had an 
 bservation ; corrected and made up 
 my reckoning, and a passage of 50 
 years came to in mortality road, with 
 the calm unrifled surface of the ocean 
 of Eternity in view." 
 
 Query. 
 
 WHAT word is that in the Enfi;h'sh 
 language of two syllables and four 
 letters, to which, if you arid two let- 
 ters, it will become a monosyllable* 
 
 Answer. 
 
 YOUR Query I read, %Ti(hout ranch ado, 
 The word Ague occnrr'd in a minute; 
 
 Then I added P L, thus the answer I drew. 
 And found but one syllable in it ; 
 
 For P L to Ague if prope.-ly join'd, 
 
 Will make it the Plague, as your readers 
 will find. 
 
 Sketch of London. 
 
 London, the metropolis of the 
 British empire, and perhaps the most 
 populous and weallhy city in the 
 world, apj)ears to have been founded 
 between the reigns of Julius Cajsar 
 and Nero : but by whom h uncertain; 
 for we are told by Tacitus, that it 
 was a place of great trade in Nero's 
 time, and soon after became the capi- 
 tal of the inland. It was first walled 
 round, with hewn stones and British 
 brick, by Constautine the Great; 
 and the walls formed an oblong square, 
 in compass about three miles, with se- 
 ven principal gates. The same empe- 
 ror made it a bishop's see ; for it ap- 
 pears that the bishops of London and 
 York, and another English bishop, 
 were at the council of Aries, in the 
 year 3 1 4. He also established a mint 
 m it, as is plain from some of his coins, 
 London, in the extensive part of the 
 same (including Westminster, South- 
 wark, and part of Middlesex) is a city 
 of surprising extent, of prodigious
 
 8 Ulerary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 wealth, and of the most extensive 
 trade. This city, when considered 
 with all its advantages, is now what 
 ancient Rome once was ; the seat of 
 liberty, the encoiirager of arts, and 
 the admiration of the whole world 
 London is the centre of trade ; it has 
 an intimate connection with all the 
 counties in the kingdom ; it is the 
 grand mart of the nation, to which all 
 parts send their commodities, whence 
 they are again sent back into every 
 part of the world. Hence innumer- 
 able carriages by land and water 
 are constantly employed ; and hence 
 arises the circulation in the national 
 body, which renders every part 
 healthful, vigorous, and in a prosper- 
 ous condition ; a circulation that is 
 equally beneficial to the head and 
 the most distant members. 
 
 Its length from west to east is gener- 
 ally allowed to be above seven miles 
 from Hyde-park Corner to Poplar : 
 and its breadth in some places three, 
 in others two, and in others, again, 
 not much above half a mile. Hence 
 the circumference of the whole is al- 
 most 18 miles ; or according to a mo- 
 dern measurement, the extent of con- 
 tinued and still increasing buildings is 
 35 miles, 2 furlongs, and 39 roods. 
 But it is much easier to form an idea 
 of the large extent of a city so regu- 
 larly built, from the number of the 
 people, amounting, by the returns 
 under the late Population Act, to 
 885,577; and from the number of 
 edifices devoted to the service of 
 relii;ion. 
 
 Of these, besides St. Paul's Cathe- 
 dral, and the collegiate church at 
 Westminster, here are 102 parish- 
 churches, and 6"9 chapels of the esta- 
 blished religion ; 2 1 Trench protestant 
 chapels ; 1 i chapels belonging to the 
 Germans, Dutch, Danes, &c. ; 26 
 independent meetings; 19 popish 
 chapels, and meeting-houses for the 
 use of foreign ambassadors, and peo- 
 ple of various sects ; and three Jews' 
 
 synagogues. So that there are 305 
 places devoted to religious worshiji, 
 in the compass of this vast pile of 
 buildings, without reckoning the 21 
 out-parisht'S usuallv included in the 
 bills of mortality, and a great number 
 of methodist tabernacles. 
 
 There are also in and near this city 
 lOOalm's-houses ; about 20 hospitals 
 and infirmaries; 3 colleges; 10 public 
 prisons; j 5 flesh markets; a market 
 for live cattle ; 2 other n\a'-kets more 
 particularly for herbs; and 23 other 
 markets for corn, coals, hay, &c ; 15 
 intis of court ; 37 public squares, be- 
 sides those within siRgle buildings, as 
 the Temple, Sec ; 3 bridges ; 49 halls 
 for companies ; S public schools, call- 
 ed free-schools; and 131 chaiity 
 schools, which provide education for 
 5,034 poor children : 20? inns; 447 
 taverns; 551 coffee-houses; 5,975 
 ale-houses; 1,200 hackney-coaches; 
 400 ditto chairs ; 7,000 streets, lanes, 
 courts, and alleys; and 130,000 
 dwelling-houses, containing, as has 
 been observed, nearly 900,000 inhabi- 
 tants, who, according to calculations 
 made so many years ago that they 
 may be considered as low in the pre- 
 sent enlarged state of tl)is great city, 
 consume annually 101,000, black 
 cattle; 7 > 0,000 sheep; 195,000 
 calves ; 240,000 swine and pigs ; 
 1,172,500 barrels strong beer ; 3000 
 tuns of foreign wiues; and eleven 
 million gallons of rum, brandy, and 
 other distilled liijuors ; with 500,000 
 chaldrons of coals for fuel. 
 
 Picture of London, 1807. 
 
 The Combat. 
 
 A Chimney-sweep and baker went to fighl ; 
 The baker beat the chimney-sweeper «:/u7e; 
 The chimney-sweep tho' laid npoii bis back, 
 Took wind and quickly beat the baker black. 
 In came a brickdust-man, with porter fed. 
 And beat both chimney-sweep and baker red. 
 Thus red, black, ichite, in clouda together 
 
 lay, 
 And none could tell, which party had the 
 
 day.
 
 Inleresting Narrathes^ Enigmas^ Epigrams, Poetri/, S^c. 9 
 
 A Tale of Woe. 
 
 A FRIEND of mine happened to 
 be passenger in tlie Clieitsey coach 
 coinin:^ fo London: at the extremity 
 of H:inipton a very beaulifiil young 
 woman, excectlingly ^vell dressed, was 
 handed up to the roof of the coach 
 by a gentleman who then quitted her: 
 it was ob^erved at flie time, she took 
 leave of iier companion with niarksof 
 extraordinary auit.ition. She had not 
 proceeded far on the outside, when 
 the heavy rain compelled her to be- 
 come an inside passenger. 
 
 Nothing very particular was ob- 
 served in her, till having taken some 
 slight refreshment, lier manner be- 
 trayed much wildness and disorder of 
 mind; and soon after she fainted. — 
 Every assistance was immediately af- 
 forded, and the coach remained up- 
 wards of an hour in Brentford, while 
 a humane apothecary was exerting all 
 his professional skill in fruitless en- 
 deavours to restore her. She was ut- 
 terly unknown to every que, and it 
 was determined that the coach should 
 proceed with her in that inanimate 
 state to London. After a time, she 
 uttered some convulsive sobs, and 
 gradually recovered her self-posses 
 sion. The story she then told must 
 — " harrow np the ionl.'^ 
 
 She was, she said, the daughter of 
 a most respectable, excellent woman, 
 residing at a little town in Scotland, 
 I purposely omit her name, not to in- 
 tlict pain unnecessarily. She lived, 
 she said, in the most perfect simpli- 
 city and happiness with her mother, 
 who was in an infirm state of health, 
 till she met the eye of a man repre- 
 senting himself as an officer in the 
 army, aud calling himself Lieutenant 
 C. I cannot persuade myself to give 
 this, which was an assumed name, at 
 length, lest I involuntarily injure some 
 /lonourable man who may bear it. 
 This supposed Lieut. C. ingratiated 
 liimsclf with the mother, and but too 
 
 fatally succeeded in gaining the af- 
 fections of the daughter. His ad- 
 dresses bore the marks of honour, for 
 he proposed marriage. The good old 
 woman, delighted at the prospect of 
 an establishment for her darling 
 daughter, agreed to give her a hun- 
 dred pounds as a marriage portion, 
 and a handsome stock of cloaths. 
 
 It is needless to detail by what ar- 
 tifices this practised seducer imposed 
 upon the credulity of these two per- 
 sons, who had lived their whole lives 
 retired in simplicity and innocence: it 
 is enough to stute that he succeeded, 
 and with the consent of the mother, 
 bore off the daughter for the avowed 
 [lurpose of making her his wife; he 
 took care also to carry otf the hun- 
 dred pounds and five trunks full of 
 cloaths. 
 
 He first took her to Carlisle, where 
 he succeeded in triumphing over her 
 virtue; from thence he proceeded to 
 Whitehaven, and advanced by slow 
 degrees to London. He never again 
 talked of marriage, but became neg- 
 ligent and brutal in his conduct; she 
 submitted to these multiplied injuries 
 without repining or complaint, for 
 thirteen months, trusting that her sub- 
 mission and her aftection would at last 
 interest him to treat her better; but 
 the savage heart of her seducer seems 
 to have meditated a horrible catastro- 
 phe to this tragedy. 
 
 On their arrival in London, she 
 found herself pregnant ; under pre- 
 tence of carrying her to his sister, he 
 took her to a lone house near Hamp- 
 ton, with all her trunks. Here his 
 treatment of her was such, that hu- 
 man nature recoils from the detail; 
 and, after taking from her, herrings, 
 her gloves, and even her pocket-hand- 
 kerchief, he persuaded her to take a 
 little walk with him. When he per- 
 ceived the stage coach approaching-, 
 he gave her seven shillings, and told 
 her she should go to London, and he 
 would follow in a few minutes witii 
 Q
 
 1(3 Litermy Curiosities, 'Epitaphs, Wonderful Etenls, 
 
 her trunks. She obeyed him impli- 1 
 ciUy, and ascended the coach; but 
 there she learned from the passengers 
 that there was uo other coach to fol- 
 low them, and her eyes began to open 
 to her real situation. Deceived and 
 cheated out of her affections, — de- 
 prived of her character and honour, — 
 deserted, — pregnant,— robbed of her 
 money and her cloaths, — enfeebled 
 by continued ill-usage and starvation, 
 — several hundred miles from hei 
 poor mother and her friends, — with- 
 out a shilling in her pocket, or a door 
 open to receive her ! ! ! 
 
 This was her story, told irregularly 
 and wildly; but with that genuine 
 artlessness as impressed instant con- 
 viction of its truth. Need any com- 
 ment be made upon it? — Surely not. 
 
 The sequel to her story, as far as 
 \% known, is, that when her fellow- 
 passengers found there was no other 
 way to stop her, in the Black friars- 
 Road, they called the watch. In the 
 crowd collected, even at that late 
 hour of the night, (half-past twelve) 
 there was an elderly, very well dressed 
 man, with the manners of a gentle- 
 man, who expressed great feeling for 
 her situation, and pledged his word 
 of honour to take a post-chaise and 
 convey her back to Hampton. She 
 was left in his charge, upon the faith 
 of this pledge ; but with a heedless- 
 ness unparalleled, and which the con- 
 fusion of the moment cannot satisfac- 
 torily excuse, they omitted altogether 
 to take his name and address, and 
 Lave no clue whatsoever to lind him 
 out. But it is ascertained he did not 
 take her to Hampton. 
 
 A Bull. 
 SAYS Dennisio Paddy, " I can't for my life 
 " Conceive how a dumb pair are made man 
 
 and wife, 
 '•' Since they can't with the form and the 
 
 parson accord," 
 Says Paddy, 'you fool! tbey take «ach 
 
 otker'8 word. 
 
 Alonzo and Lnogine, 
 
 A WARRIOR so bold and a Virgin so 
 bright 
 Conversed, as they sat on the green ; 
 They gazed on each other with tender da- 
 light ; 
 Alonzo the Brave was the name of ths 
 knight, 
 The maid's was the Fair Imogine. 
 
 — *' And, oh \" said the youth, " •ince to- 
 morrow I go 
 " To fight iii a far-distant land, 
 " Your tears for my absence seon leaving 
 
 to flow, 
 " Some other will court you, and you will 
 bestow 
 " On a wealthier suitor your hand." — 
 
 — "Oh! hush these suspicloDs," Fair Imo- 
 gine said, 
 " Offensive to love and to me! 
 " For, if you be living, or if you be dead; 
 '•' I swear by the Virgin, that none in your 
 stead 
 " Shall husband of Imogine be. 
 
 " And if e'er for another my heart should 
 
 decide, 
 " Forgetting Alonzo the Brave, 
 " G»d grant, that, to punish my falsehood 
 
 and pride, 
 " Your ghost at the marriage may sit by 
 
 my side, 
 " Way tax me with perjury, claim me a« 
 
 bride, 
 " And bear me away to the grave!" 
 
 To Palestine hasten'd the hero so bold ; 
 
 His love she lamented him Hore: 
 But scarce had a twelvemonth elapsed, 
 
 when behold, 
 A Baron all covered with jewels and gold, 
 
 Arrived at Fair Imogine's door. 
 
 His treasure, bis presents, bis spacious do- 
 main, 
 Soon made her untrue to her vows : 
 He dazzled her eyes; he bewilder'd her 
 
 brain; 
 He caught her affections so light and so 
 vain. 
 And carried her home as his spsuse. 
 
 And now had the marriage been bless'd by 
 the priest: 
 The revelry now was begun: 
 The tables they groan'd with the weight of 
 
 the feast; 
 Nor yet had the laughter and merriment 
 ceased , 
 When the bell of the castle toll'd— ' oat ' '
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, ^e. 11 
 
 Then first with amazement Fair Imogine 
 fonnd 
 That a etran^er was placed by her oide : 
 His air was terrillc ; he utter'd no sound , 
 He spoke not, he moved not, he look'd not 
 around, 
 But earnestly gazed on the bride. 
 
 His TJzor was closed, <k gigantic his height ; 
 
 Ilis armour was saMe to view : 
 All pleasure and laughter were hush'd at 
 
 his sigh! ; 
 The dogs, as they eyed him, drew back in 
 affright ; 
 The lights in the chamber hnrnt hlne! 
 
 His presence all bosoms appear'd to dismay. 
 The guests sat in silonce and fear: 
 
 At length spoke the bride, while she trem- 
 bled:- " I pray, 
 
 " Sir Knight, that your helmet aside you 
 would lay, 
 
 " And deign to partake of our cheer.'' 
 
 The lady is silent: the stranger complies, 
 
 His vizor he slowly unclosed : 
 Oh ! then what a sight met Fair Imogine's 
 
 eyes ! 
 What words can express her dismay and 
 surprise. 
 When a skeleton's head was exposed ! 
 
 All present then utter'd a terrified shout ; 
 
 All turn'd with disgust from the scene, 
 The worms they crept in, and the worms 
 
 they crejit out. 
 And sported his eyes and his temples abont. 
 
 While the spectre address'd Imogine: 
 
 '■' Behold me, thon false one! behold me!" 
 
 he cried ; 
 " Remember Alonzo the Brave! 
 " God grants, that, to punish thy falsehood 
 
 and pride, 
 " My ghost at thy marriage should sit by 
 
 thy side, 
 " Should tax thee with perjury, claim thee 
 
 as bride, 
 *' And bear thee away to the gravel" 
 
 Thus saying, his arms roand the lady he 
 wound. 
 While loudly she shriek 'd in dismay; 
 Then sank with his i)rcy through the wide- 
 yawning ground; 
 Nor ever again was Fair Imogine found. 
 Or the spectre who bore her away. 
 
 yot long lived the Baron: and none since 
 that time 
 
 To inhabit the castle presume; 
 For chronicles tell, that, by order snblime, 
 There Imogine suffers the pain of her crime^ 
 
 And oiourns her deplorable doom. 
 
 At midnight four times in each year doaa 
 her sprite, 
 
 When mortals in slumber are hound, 
 Array 'd in her bridal apparel of white, 
 Appear in the hall with ibeskeleton-knigbt. 
 
 And shriek as he whirls her around. 
 
 While they drink out of skulls newly tora 
 from the grave. 
 Dancing round them pale spectres ar« 
 seen : 
 Their liquor is blood, and this horrible stave 
 They bowl—" To the health of Alonzu tba 
 Brave, 
 " And his consort, the Fair Imogine!" 
 
 Breach of Promise of Marriage^ 
 
 SMITH V. HEATHCOATE. 
 
 THIS was ail action brought to 
 recover compensation in damages for 
 a breacli of promise of marriage, 
 wherein the defendant liaving sutiered 
 judgnient to go by default, it devolved 
 on a Sheriff's Jury to possess th« 
 qiiantiiin of those damages. It ap- 
 l>earcd that the plaintiff and defen- 
 dant were both stricken in years, eacb 
 of them fast approaching sixty. The 
 lady, however, being long tired of a 
 widowed life, had communicated her 
 resolution of changing her state, and 
 her confidant soon provided a candi- 
 date for her favour, whose recom- 
 mendation had all the wished for 
 effect that either party could desire, 
 and her approbation was the result. 
 The banns were put up accordingly, 
 published, and all things were in traia 
 ibr the weddinj:. The lady relied 
 upon the taste of her confidant in the 
 choice of a husband suited to her 
 fiiiicy, consulted her own choice for 
 his wedding suit, and actually went 
 to her taylor, who, ky her order, took 
 his measure, and made up his cloaths 
 to this husband elect : but, as his 
 wayward genius led him, instead of 
 carrying the cloaths to the bride- 
 groom, he hastened with them to the 
 bride, and presented with them his 
 bill for payment ; when. Oh ! horri* 
 bile dicta, no sooner had the taylor 
 entered the rooiii, than Cuj)i(i Heur 
 
 C2
 
 IS Literari/ Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 out of the window. Tlie larly raved, 
 and declared slie would not have Mr. 
 Smith, nor have his breeches, or any 
 thing that belonged to him, and 
 thenceforth would never see him. She 
 accordingly kept her negative assu- 
 rance, and thereby broke her pro- 
 mised contract. Verdict for the plain- 
 tiff, damages five pounds, which we 
 presume was the amount of the tay- 
 lor's bill, with costs. 
 
 Mr. BEW, in the Memoirs of the 
 Literary and Philosophical Society of 
 Manchester, gives the following re- 
 markable case. — John Metcalf be- 
 came blind at a very early age, so as 
 to be entirely unconscious of light 
 and its various effects. This man 
 passed the younger part of his life as 
 a waggoner, and occasionally as a 
 guide in intricate roads, during the 
 night, or when the tracks were co- 
 vered with snow. Strange as this 
 may appear to those who can see, the 
 employmenl he has since undertaken 
 is still more extraordinary. His pre- 
 sent occupation is that of a projector 
 and surveyor in highways, in difficult 
 and mountainous countries. His abi- 
 lities in this respect are so great, that 
 he finds constant employment. Maps 
 of the roads over the Peak in Derby- 
 shire have been altered by his direc- 
 tions, particularly in the vicinity of 
 Buxton ; and he is at this time con- 
 Strutting a new one betwixt Wilmslow 
 and Congleton. 
 
 Morning Chronicle, 1787. 
 
 Methodist Gibberish, said to have been 
 lately delivered in the Neighbour- 
 hood of Litchjield. 
 
 YOU have ears to hear, eyes to 
 see, tongues to taste, and throats to 
 swallow; draw near, I say, and pick 
 up tlie crumbs I shall scatter among 
 ye ; the crumbs of comfort whejewitli 
 ye must be crammed, until ye beconu 
 chickens of grace, and are cooped 
 up in the hencoop of righteousness. 
 
 If your hearts are as hard as a Suf- 
 folk cheese, or a Norfolk dumpling, 
 my discourse shall beat them as it 
 were upon a cobbler's lapstone, until 
 they become as soft as a roasted apple 
 — aye, even as soft as custard meat, 
 and melt in your bellies like a mar- 
 row pudding. 
 
 Do you know what trade Adam 
 was? I say, do you know what trade 
 Adam was ? If you don't, I'll tell you. 
 Why, Adam was a planter, for he 
 planted the beautiful garden of Eden. 
 Now, do you know what was the 
 first thing Adam set in his garden? 
 Ho ! ho ! you don't, don't you ? then 
 I will tell you. His foot! his foot ! I 
 say, was the first thing Adam set in 
 his garden. But hp could not keep 
 it there ; no, no, no, he could not 
 keep it there, for Lucifer came behind 
 him, tript up his heels, and trundled 
 him out again neck and shoulders. 
 
 I'll tell you a secret ; I say, I'll tell 
 you a secret ; — Knees were made be- 
 fore elbows ; — aye, knees, I say, were 
 nuide before elbows; for the beasts 
 of the field were made before man, 
 and they have no elbows at all. — 
 Therefore down on your marrow- 
 bones and pray for mercy, else you 
 will be turned into Beelzebub's under- 
 ground kitchen, to make bubble and 
 squeak of your souls for the devil's 
 supper. 
 
 Lady's Magazine, July, 1788. 
 
 A Hard Case. 
 
 ONCE a doctor, to deatti-dealing pracf ica 
 inur'd. 
 
 As he always kill'd twenty for one (!iat be 
 cur'd, 
 
 To a grave-digger said, passing tbro' the, 
 ctiurcb-yard, 
 
 " So, friend, I perceive you're at work 
 very hard."' — 
 
 " Hard indeed," says old Delve, " here I 
 toil ev'ry day, 
 
 " And can hardly get snctioo to moisten 
 lit 'J clay ; 
 
 '' Nay rf(;?<t/e;RorA scarcely subsistence pro- 
 cures, 
 
 " Tbo' while doing my own, I am finish- 
 ing your't,"
 
 Interesting Narrotives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, SfC. 13 
 
 An Account of the Loss of the Mar- 
 gate Hoy. 
 
 Margate, Feb. 10, 1S02. 
 
 REPEATED as have been the 
 awful visitations with which this town 
 and neighbourhood has beeu afflicted 
 during this winter, tlie foUowiuiJ; has, 
 alus ! in every point of view, alarm- 
 ingly exceeded them all: — The ho> 
 Margate, of Margate, John Good- 
 born, captain, Mr. J. Sacket, owner, 
 very deeply laden with corn for the 
 London market, having a crew of four 
 men and twenty-eigiit p;'ssengers, 
 sailed from the harbour in moderate 
 weather, at three o'clock on Saturday 
 afternoon, and came to anchor in the 
 roads till near nine in the evening, 
 when they again got under sail, and 
 soon after the weather began to be 
 very tempestuous ; but they continued 
 working against the wind till they had 
 arrived, about midnight, off Reculver, 
 with the intention of going to anchor 
 under the hook of Margate sand. — 
 On making their last tack towards the 
 laud, the strop of the sounding lead 
 broke, and though the vessel was put 
 about, yet before another lead could 
 be fitted she struck, it was supposed, 
 on the tail of the Reculver Sand ; they 
 then let go the anchor, and the water 
 flowing, the vessel swang off and rode 
 clear. They then got up the anchor, 
 and setting the sails, she was drawn 
 off the land, when the gib-tackle 
 broke, which made it impossible to 
 get her head from the wind : the cap- 
 tain then lashed down the tiller, and 
 went forward to set another gib-sail, 
 when, by the vessel's striking the 
 ground, the tiller was rent in two, and 
 before it could be replaced the rud- 
 der was beat off, and thereby tae ves- 
 sel was rendered totally unmanage- 
 able. They then lot go their anchor 
 a second time, but the hoy continuing 
 to beat on the ground in the most 
 alarming manner, and apprehending 
 
 she had sprung a leak, and finding 
 the pumps were choaked, they were 
 forced to let slip the cable, and let 
 her drive in to shore, on which she 
 was beaten about a mile and a half 
 from the village of Reculver. The 
 scene then became truly horrible, as 
 a most dreadful sea was breaking over 
 the vessel every moment, and the 
 women and children uttering the most 
 lamentable cries. In the midst of 
 this distress, Mr. Bone, passenger, and 
 local preacher in the connection of 
 the late \\t\. John Wesley, like the 
 true Clniblian and faithful Divine, 
 with great resignation, exhorted and 
 prayed with his fellow-sufferers, and 
 was heard by the survivors to the very 
 last, lifting his voice in supplications 
 and praises to his Redeemer. — Five 
 of the passengers and four of the 
 crew having taken to the •shrouds, 
 were saved by continuing there till 
 the water was so lowered that they 
 could get on the shore, about five in 
 the morning. One other passenger, 
 Mr. Jesse Carroway, of Margate, was 
 swept off the deck, but most provi- 
 dentially, after some little exertion, 
 was thrown on the beach by the 
 waves, and escaped ; and supposes 
 that very soon after the cabin was 
 filled with water, and seven passen- 
 gers who remained therein drowned, 
 and the remaining fourteen and the 
 captain, who were on deck, were then 
 swept away by the merciless waves, 
 as while he lay on the beach, he heard 
 a general scream of distress, and then 
 all was still! The scene which the 
 morning presented to the afflicted 
 spectators, who by ten o'clock were 
 some hundreds, from Margate and 
 the neighbouring villages, it is impos- 
 sible to describe, as within the space 
 of a mile and a half on the beach, 
 sixteen men and women lay dead on 
 the shore, and, very soon after, seven 
 other passengers were taken in the 
 same state from the cabin, making in 
 the whole twenty-three persons.
 
 14 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful EDcnts, 
 
 Pyramids of Egypt. 
 
 THE pyramids of Egypt, thosp 
 wondrous monunients of the ueaJtli 
 and grandeur of the ancient kings of 
 that country, are allowed to have 
 been built at least 1,200 years before 
 the birtli of Christ. 
 
 The three pyramids that are most 
 taken notice of by travellers, as ex- 
 ceeding ail the rest both in bulk and 
 beauty, are situated on a ridge of 
 rocky hills, on the borders of tlie 
 Lybian desart, about ten miles west- 
 ward from the village Geeza, which 
 is supposed to be the spot where 
 the aiitient Meinpliis stood, though 
 there aie now not the least traces 
 to be found of the ruins of that great 
 and renowned city. 
 
 The largest of these pyramids, 
 which has suffered least by time and 
 weather, is six hundred and ninety- 
 three English feet square at the basis, 
 and its perpendicular height is four 
 hundred and ninety nine feet : but if 
 the height be taken as the pyramid 
 ascends inclining, it is then six hun- 
 dred and ninety-three feet ; which is 
 exactly equal to the breadth of the 
 base, so that the angles and base 
 make an equilateral triangle. The 
 whole area thciefore of the bi'se 
 contains four hundred and eighty 
 two thousand, two hundredand forty- 
 nine square feet, which is something 
 more than eleven acres of ground. 
 
 On the outside of this pyramid 
 there is an ascent by steps; the 
 breadth and depth of every step is 
 one entire stone, and several of them 
 are thirty feet in length. The top of 
 the pyramid does not end in a point, 
 as it appears to those who view it be- 
 low, but in a little square consisting of 
 nine stones, besides two that are want- 
 ing at the angles. Each side of the 
 jilatform is about sixteen feet ; so 
 that a considerable number of persons 
 ni.iy stand upon it, whence tliere is 
 one of the most beautiful prospects 
 that caH be inia;>ined. 
 
 On the north side of the large py- 
 ramid, sixteen steps from the bottom, 
 there is a narrow passage leading 
 downwards into the body of the struc- 
 ture. Those who have explored ihis 
 passage find within, galleries, cham- 
 bers, and a noble hall built of The- 
 baic marble situated in the centre of 
 the pyramid. 
 
 In this stately hall stands a tomb, 
 which consists of one entire piece of 
 marble hollowed, without any lid or 
 covering; and on being struck it sounds 
 like a bell. The general opinion is, 
 that it was designed for the tomb of ■♦ 
 Cheops or Chemnis, king of Egypt, I 
 
 the supposed founder of this pyramid. 
 There is no appearance, however, of 
 any corpse having been laid in it. The 
 tigure of this tomb is that of an altar, 
 and the marble smooth and plain, 
 without any sculpture or other orna- 
 ment. How the tomb was brought 
 into the place where it now stands is 
 difficult to conceive, it being impossi- 
 ble it should have come through the 
 narrow passages that are the entrances 
 to the hall. It is therefore generally 
 supposed the tomb was raised up 
 thither from without, before the room 
 was finished; and the roof closed over 
 it. 
 
 The Conflagration. 
 WHILE Dick to combs Iioslilily proclaiiin, 
 A neighbouring toper sets bis hair in flaoies. 
 Tlie blaze extinct, permit ns to inquire : 
 " VTere there no lives lost, Richard, in tLit 
 fire?" 
 
 On seeing one Bacon in the Pillorg, 
 
 WHY 90 relentless do you pelt 
 
 With all the force you can, 
 As if your heart no pity felt 
 
 For the unhappy man. 
 
 The thrower smil'd, " Why, Sir," said Le, 
 
 " The judge has felt a zest, 
 And thinks that Bacon best would be, 
 
 If well with eggs 'twas drest." 
 
 The Miser's Feast. 
 
 II IS chimney smoke ! it is some omen dire ! 
 His neighbours are alariu'd, and cry out^r#.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, S)C. 15 
 
 THE following curious epitaph appears 
 on a head -stone In the church-yard oS Stor. 
 rington, in the County of Sussex. 
 
 Here lies the body of Edward Hide ; 
 We laid him here because he died. 
 
 We had rather 
 
 It had been bis father. 
 
 If it had been his sister, 
 
 We should not have infss'd her, 
 
 But since 'tis honest Ned, 
 
 No more shall be said. 
 
 (•UILSPIELO CIIt'RCH-YARD, MOXTQOMERY- 
 SHIRE. 
 
 DAVID WILLIA31S. 
 
 Died June SO, 1769. 
 
 UNDER this yew tree 
 Buried would he be. 
 Because his father be 
 Planted this yew tree. 
 
 MONTGOMERTSHIRE. 
 
 ISr LLANMYNECH CHURCH- YARD. 
 
 HERE lies John Thomas 
 And his three children dear ; 
 Two buried at Oswestry, 
 And one here. 
 
 ON CAVE. 
 
 IK THE CHURCH OF BARROW I'PON SOAR, 
 
 In the County of Liecester. 
 
 HERE, in this Grave, there lies a Cave, 
 
 We call a Cave a Grave — 
 If Cave be Grave, and Grave be Cave, 
 
 Then, reader, judge, I crave. 
 Whether doth Cave here lie in Grave, 
 
 Or Grave here lie in Cave; 
 If Grave in Cave here buried lie. 
 Then, Grave, wliere is thy victory ? 
 Go, reader, and report, here lies a Cave, 
 Who conquers Death, and buries his own 
 Grave. 
 
 ON WILLIAM LAWES, A MUSICIAN, 
 
 Killed at the Siege of West-Chester. 
 Concord is conquered ; in this nrn there lies 
 The master of great Mu«ick's mysteries, 
 And in it is a riddle, like the cause, 
 fVill Lawes was slain by those whose Wills 
 are Lawes. 
 
 Peterborough Cathedral. 
 HERE lies a babe, that only cry'd, 
 Ib baptism to be washed from sin, and dy 'd, 
 January 17, 1666, 
 
 [n St. Maria S'uooa, Naples, is an Italian 
 Inscription, ichich in English runs thus. 
 
 ' I was what I am not. I am wi»at I was not. 
 ' What I am thou shalt be. Spain gave m« 
 
 birth; 
 ' Italy determined my fortune, Here I lie 
 
 buried. 
 
 RODERIGO NUNE2 DE PaLMA, 1597.' 
 
 ON WILLIAM I'RYNNE. 
 By Butler. 
 
 Here lies the corpse of William Prtnne^ 
 
 Bencher, late of Lincoln's-Inii, 
 
 Who restless ran through thick and thio. 
 
 This grand scrlpturient paperspiller. 
 This endless, needless margin filler. 
 Was strangely tost from post to pillar. 
 
 His brain's career was never stopping, 
 But pen with rlieum of gall still dropping, 
 Till hand o'er head brought ears to cropping. 
 
 Nor would he yet surcease such themes. 
 But prostitute new virgin reams. 
 To types of his fanatic dreams. 
 
 But while be this hot humour hugs. 
 And for more length of tender tugs. 
 Death fang'd the -remnant of his lugs. 
 
 ON MACKLIN, THE PLAYER, 
 Who died at the advanced Age of one hun- 
 dred and sccen Vears, two Months, and 
 ten Days. He lies in the Chancel of 
 Covest-Garden CHI'RCH. 
 
 HERE lies the Jew, 
 That Shakspeare drew. 
 These lines were given by Mr, Pope, as 
 the most appropriate inscription for Mack- 
 LiN, after' his chaste representation of 
 Shakspeare's Shylock, but they do not 
 appear ou his tomb. 
 
 LINCOLN CATHEDRAL. 
 
 ON DOCTOR OTWELL HILL, 
 
 Who died Idfh of May, 1616, aged 5S. 
 'TIS Otwell Hill, a holy Hill, 
 
 And truly, sooth to say. 
 Upon this Hill, be praised still. 
 
 The Lord both night and day. 
 Upon this Hill, this Hill, did cry, 
 
 Aloud the scripture letter. 
 And strove your wicked villains bj'. 
 
 Good counsel to make belter, 
 And now this Hill tho' under stones. 
 
 Has the Lord's Hills to lie on ; 
 For Lincoln H iiiL has got his bone.'*. 
 
 Hit soul the Hill of Siun.
 
 16 liiterary Curiosities, Epitaphs^ fVonderful Events^ 
 
 Account of the Character and Dress 
 of the JVomen of Chio, an Island 
 in the Archipelago. 
 
 WHILE recounting the bounties of 
 rature to this island, tiie singular 
 beauty of the female inhabitants must 
 not be omitted. As we walked 
 through the town on a Sunday evening, 
 the streets were tilled with women 
 dancing, or sitting in uroujjes, at their 
 doors, dressed in the fashion of the 
 island, which is scrupulously confined 
 to the natives. The girls liave most 
 brilliant complexions, with features 
 regular and delicate ; but one style of 
 countenance prevails ; when, without 
 a veil, the head is covered with a 
 close coif, confining the hair, except 
 a few locks round the face, which are 
 bathed in perfumed oil, and curled 
 likewise, as in Vandyke's or Lely's 
 portraits. Some have veils of muslin 
 tied a I'antique, and tlowing gracefidiy 
 behind. The sliift sleeves are exposed 
 of thin gauze full and op»Mi, and the 
 outer vest does not reach f.tr below 
 the knees, with an apron of coloured 
 tiffany, worn as high as the bosom. 
 It is always of gaudy silk, thickly 
 plaited in narrow ibids, st'flened with 
 whalebone, like a hoop, and fastened 
 imdcr the chin, being quite fiat upon 
 the breasts. It appears much as if 
 one of the most fanciful of our Eng- 
 lish ladies of fashion siiould wear her 
 petticoat tif-d round her neck, and 
 poke her arms through the sides; or 
 by a more grotesque comparison a 
 tortoise walking upright. The slippers 
 are loose, andsometimesembroidered, 
 with stockings of while silk or cotton, 
 extremely neat. The ringlets which 
 are so elegantly disposed roujid the 
 sweet countenances of these fair Chio- 
 tes are such as JMilton describes by 
 " hyaciiithine locks," crisped and curl- 
 ed like the Llossoms of that flower. 
 IS'o dress more unbecoming than that 
 which envelopes their shapes could 
 have been imagined ; but tlieir faces 
 make ample amends, with eyes vary- 
 
 ing with infinite expression from soft- 
 ness to vivacity. All the arts of anci- 
 ent Greece havedeclined in an extreme 
 proportion; nor should we wonder 
 that, if the superiority of beauty he 
 unimpaired, the art of adorning the 
 person be almost lost. Yet the air of 
 the veil, the ceinture, and the sandals, 
 atlord us occasionally some sliijlit 
 glimpse of that exquisite grace which 
 pervades the drapery of ancient sculp- 
 ture. 
 
 Even in the Turkish women an air 
 of greater freedom than of those in 
 the caj)ilal may be observed. The 
 face is not so closely enveloped in a 
 mahramah, which discovers the eyes 
 only, but gracefully obscured by a 
 flowing veil. 
 
 We visited the English consul at his 
 country-house among the mountains. 
 It was about mid-day, and were serv- 
 ed with the customary compliment. 
 The lady of the house had been one 
 of the most beautiful of the Chiotes, 
 nor had her daughter inferior preten- 
 sions. More native politeness and 
 gay complacency could scarcely have 
 been shown than in their recep- 
 tion of us. According to the universal 
 custom among the Greeks, soon after 
 our arrival, a servant appeared, bear- 
 ing a silver salver, upon which were 
 |)laced several spoons filled w ith con- 
 serves, which the young lady presented 
 to us, severally, with a grace and 
 attitude worthy the antique. Small 
 glasses of water succeeded; and, lastly, 
 coflee prepared in the eastern manner. 
 In every visit that may be made dur- 
 ing the day, this compliment is re- 
 peated. Should the mistress of the 
 house be young, s!ie shows her respect 
 to her guests by this ceremony ; if 
 otherwise, her eldest daughter, or 
 some other lady present, takes her 
 place. 
 
 I 
 
 Miracles not ceased. 
 
 THE prophet Balaam was in wondpr Io»f, 
 To hear liis ass speak :— aHStts now talk luo^t.
 
 Interesting Narrativea, Enigmas, /Epigrams, Poefrj/, S^c. 17 
 
 The wonderful Learned Buy, of Lu- 
 beck, in Gtrm:niy. 
 
 Christian Henry Heinekev 
 was born at Lubetk on February (), 
 17-21, and died there June 27, I7'25, 
 after liaving disphiyed the mobt araa- 
 ziiii: jfroofs of intellectual liilenls. 
 
 He had not completed his fust year 
 of life, when lie alreiuiy knew and 
 recited the principr.l fact'^ contained 
 in the five book^ of Moses; with a 
 number of ver>es on the creation. — 
 In his fourteenth month lie knew all 
 the hisiorv <>f the Bible; in his thir- 
 tieth month thehislory of the nations 
 of antiquity, geoguiphy, anatomy, 
 the use of maps, and nearly 8000 
 Latin words. Before the end of his 
 third year, the history of Denmark, 
 and the genealogy of (he crowned 
 heads of Europe. In his fouttli year 
 the doctrines of divinity, with their 
 proofs from the Bible; ecclesiastical 
 history ; the instituticns ; 200 hymns, 
 with their tunes; SO psalms; entire 
 chapters of the Old and New Testa- 
 ments ; 1500 verses and sentences, 
 from ancient Latin classics; almost 
 the whole Orhis Pictus of Comenius, 
 whence he had derived all his know- 
 ledge of the Latin tongue; arithme- 
 tic; the history of the European em- 
 pires and kingdoms: could point out 
 in the maps whatever place he was 
 asked for, or passed by in his jour- 
 neys; and recite all the ancient and 
 historical anecdotes relating to it. 
 His stupendous inemory caught and 
 retained every word he was told : his 
 ever-acting imagination used, at what- 
 ever he saw or heard, instantly to 
 apply, according to the laws of as- 
 sociation of ideas, some examples or 
 sentences from the Bible, or geogia- 
 phy, profane or ecclesiastical history, 
 the Ortis Pictus, or from ancient 
 classics. At the court of Denmaik 
 he delivered twelve speeches, without 
 once faultering; and underwent pub- 
 lic examinations on a variety of sub- 
 jects, especially the history of Den- 
 
 mark. He spoke German, Latin* 
 I'lench, and Low Dutch ; was ex- 
 ceedingly good-natured, and well- 
 behaved, but of a most tender, deli- 
 cate bodily constitution, never eating 
 any solid foo(', but chiefly subsisting 
 on nurse's milk. He was celebrated, 
 says this account, all over Europe, 
 under the name of the Learned Boy 
 of Lubeck. He cl.ed at the age of 
 tour years, twenty days, and twenty- 
 one hours; and his death was record- 
 ed in a number of periodical papers. 
 iVestminstcr Magazine, llbO, 
 
 Lady Jane Grey's Speech on ihg 
 
 Scaffold. 
 Good People, 
 
 I A.M come to this place to yield 
 up my life to the sentence of the Iriw. 
 That I did consent to the design con- 
 certed against the queen's highness, 
 to deprive her of the crown of this 
 realm, I frankly confess ; but abso- 
 lutely deny that I entertained the least 
 thoughts, or desire, to have that ho- 
 nour transferred on myself: — I there- 
 fore wash my hands, in token of mt 
 innocency before God, and all that 
 behold me this day. 
 
 It is very remarkable that Judge 
 Morgan, who pronounced sentence 
 on Lady Jane Grey, a short time af- 
 ter her execution became insane, and 
 in his raving would cry out, " Take 
 her from me, take her from me !" till 
 he ended his life with inexpressible 
 horroc. Taylor's Bloody Tribunal. 
 
 A Recipe for Courtship. 
 
 TWO or three dears and two or three swefels ; 
 Two or three balls, and two or three treats ; 
 Two or three serenades given as a lure; 
 Two or three oaths how much they endure; 
 Two or three messages sent in a day; 
 Two or three times led out froai ti!e play; 
 Two or three soft speeches made by the way. 
 Two or three tickets for two or three times ; 
 Two or three love-letters writ all in rhymes: 
 Two or three months keeping strict to tbeae 
 
 rnles, 
 Can never fail making a coople of fooU.
 
 18 
 
 Literari/ Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Characters of the dijftrent Nations 
 of Europe. 
 
 IN religion, tlie German is scep- 
 tical ; the Englislinian devout ; the 
 Frenchman zealous; the Italian cere- 
 nioiiious; the Spaniard a bigot. 
 
 In keeping his word, the German 
 is faithlUl ; the Englisbmaii safe ; tin- 
 Frenchman giddy ; the Italian shuff- 
 ling ; the Spaniard a cheat. 
 
 In giving advice, the German is 
 slow; the Englishman fearless; the 
 Frenchman precipitate ; the Italian 
 nice ; the Spaniard circumspect. 
 
 In external appearance, the German 
 is large ; the Englishman well made ; 
 the Frenchman well looking ; the Ital- 
 ian of middle size ; the Spaniard 
 «wkward. 
 
 In dress, the German is shabby ; 
 the Englbhmau costly ; the French- 
 4nan fickle; the Italian ragged; the 
 Spaniard decent. 
 
 In manners, the German is clown- 
 ish ; the Englishman blunt ; (he 
 Frenchman easy ; the Italian polite ; 
 the Spaniard proud. 
 
 In keeping a secret, the German 
 /orgels what he has been told ; the 
 £nglishman conceals what he should 
 divulge, and divulges what he should 
 conceal ; the Frenchman tells every 
 thing ; the Italian is close ; the Spa- 
 niard mysterious. 
 
 In vanitp, the German boasts little; 
 the Englishman despises all other na- 
 tions; the Frenchman flatters every 
 body; the Italian estimates cautiously 
 tke Spaniard is indiflerent. 
 
 In eating and drinking, the Ger- 
 man is a drunkard; the Englishman 
 ^ross and luscious; the Frenchman 
 delicate ; (he Italian moderate; the 
 Sj)aniard penurious. 
 
 In ojfpnding and doing good, the 
 German is inactive ; the Englishnian 
 does both without coiisideratioa; the 
 Ilalian is prompt in beneficence, 
 but vindictive; the Spaniard indifier- 
 «nt. 
 
 In s2)eakinj^, tUe German and 
 
 Frenchman speak badly but write 
 well; the Englishman speaks and 
 writes well; the Italian speaks well, 
 writes much and well ; the Spaniard 
 speaks little, writes little but well. 
 
 In address, ihe German looks li!»e 
 a blockhead; the Engli.shman neither 
 resembles a fool or a wise man ; the 
 Frenchman is gay ; the Italian is pru- 
 <lent, but looks like a fool ; the 
 Spaniard is quite the reverse. 
 
 Servants are conipaiiions r:i Ger- 
 many ; obedient in England ; masters 
 in France ; respectful in Italy; sub- 
 missive in Spain. 
 
 The women are housewives in Ger- 
 many; queens in England; ladies in 
 France; captives in Italy; slaves iu 
 Spain. 
 
 In courage, the German resembles 
 a bear; the Englishman a lion ; the 
 Frenchman an eagle ; the Italian a 
 fox ; and the Spaniard an Elephant. 
 
 In the sciences, the German is n 
 pedant ; the Englishman a philoso- 
 pher ; the Frenchman a smatterer; 
 the Italian a professor; and the Span- 
 iard a grave thinker. 
 
 Magnificence — In Germany the 
 princes, in England the ships, in 
 France the court, in Italy the churchei 
 in Sj)ain the armories, are magni- 
 ficentt 
 
 On a Fat Physician. 
 
 TAKE heed, O good trav'Iler, and do not 
 
 tread liard, 
 For here lies Dr. Sth-tf-rd, in all tbia 
 
 church-yard. 
 
 St. Peter's, Norwich. 
 
 HEREIyeth John Brigoe, under ibis mari 
 
 hi! ttton, 
 Who8 8owIeoHr Lord Jesn liavemercy upon; 
 For in this worlde worthily he lived many a 
 
 day, 
 And here hys bodi is beried, and cowched 
 
 under clay ; 
 Lo! freiidis fro. whatever ye be, pray for me, 
 
 I you pray, 
 Ai ye nay se, in so«h degre, so sclial ye L»- 
 
 auotherday.
 
 Iriterestin^ Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrama, Poetry, $,c. 19 
 
 ON the (iemise ol King Charles II. 
 the Duke of York, who had a long 
 time governed in the Kino's name. 
 Hsconded the throne by the title of 
 James If. 'I'hc Hrst step that he took 
 after his accession, was the issulno 
 out a prosecuiion against Alrierman 
 X^ornish, «ho had exerted him>-olf, 
 when sheriff, in the year 1 6S0, to de- 
 tect and prosecute the Popish pint 
 In consequence of which, on the 
 13th October, l6S5, he was appre- 
 Lendcd and committed to Newgate ; 
 without the use of pen, ink, or paper, 
 and on the Monday followinj; he was 
 indicted for conspiring, with other 
 false traitors, to raise a rel)clli<)n in 
 the kingdom in the late reign, to de- 
 stroy the king and subvert ihe consti- 
 tution. 1 he principal evidence against 
 him was Colonel Ramsey, an infa- 
 mous and profligate vdlain; and one 
 Goodenough, who had been outlawed, 
 but was pardoned on purpose that he 
 might have the opportunity of bear- 
 ing testimony against him ; and, not- 
 ■H'ilhstanding the evidence of these 
 two base men, did not in thi' least af- 
 fect th.e prisoner, he was nevertheless 
 condemnod, and on the 23d of the 
 same month, hanged, drawn and 
 quartered, facing his own hou^e, at 
 the end of King-street, Chcapsidc, 
 London. 
 
 Chamber's History of England. 
 
 Justice done hij 0th o III. Emperor 
 of Germany, to the Empress his 
 Wife, Mary, Daughter of the King 
 of Arrugon. A, D. giJ6. 
 
 THIS princess having been in love 
 with a young Italian count, vhe made 
 use of all her arts to allure him to her 
 embraces ; but he being no less cha-->te 
 than charming, she was by no means 
 able to bring her ends about, which 
 caused her to turn her love into 
 hatred, and conrrequently to seek foi 
 an op|)()rtuniiy to be revenged. At 
 kiigih she resolved to accuse her love 
 
 to the emperor (if making attempts 
 upon her honour; which had tliat 
 effect, that Otho, giving too great 
 ciedit to her accusation, condemned 
 the innocent count to die ; and ac- 
 cordingly had him beheaded. The 
 count, before his death, confessed 
 the whole tiuth to his wife, who there- 
 upon, two or three days afterwards, 
 went and threw herself at the em- 
 peror's feet, at a time when he was 
 doing of justice, laying open the 
 whole truth, thereb} acquitting her 
 husband and accusing the empress of 
 a most detestable crime ; to confirm 
 which, she took a red-hot iron into 
 her hands without doing her any harm. 
 The empeior, astonished at what he 
 had both heard and seen, commanded 
 his empress to undergo the like proof 
 of her innocence, which she declining 
 to do, he immediately ordered her to 
 be burnt alive, and for his own 
 punishment, for having so rashly pro- 
 cured the innocent coiint to be exe- 
 cuted, condemned himself in a great 
 fine, wliich he caused to be speedily 
 paid tu the afilictcd widow. 
 
 Mr. Savage's History of Germany, 
 
 An Account of a Wild Man in tht 
 Pyrenees. 
 
 INIoxsiEUR LK Roy, the French 
 king's engineer, employed in drawing 
 masts fiom the. Pyrenees, says, that 
 in the year 1774, a savage, or wild 
 man, was discovered by the shepherds 
 who fed their flocks in the neighbour- 
 hood of the foic«tYaary. This man, 
 who inhabited the rocks that lay near 
 the forest, was very tall, covered with 
 liair like a bear, and very nimble; of 
 a gay humour, and in all appearance 
 of a mild disposition, as he neither 
 did nor seemed to intend harm to any 
 Ijody. He oUen visited the cottages, 
 wiihfKit ever attempting to cany off 
 any thing. U?. had no knowledge of 
 bread, milk, or cheese; his greats t 
 amusement was to see the sheep rut 
 1)2
 
 so Literary Curwsilies, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 ning, and to scatter them ; and he 
 testified his pleasure at this sight by 
 loud fits of laughter, but never at- 
 tempted to hurt them. When ih^ 
 shepherds let loose their dogs after 
 him, he fled with ihe swiftness of a 
 racer, and never allowed the dogs to 
 come near him. One morning he 
 came to the cottage of some work- 
 men, and one of them endeavouring 
 to get near him, and catch him by 
 the leg, he laughed heartily, and then 
 made his escape: he seemed to be 
 about 30 years of age. As the forest 
 is very extensive, and has a commu- 
 nication with the vast woods that be- 
 long to the Spanish territories^ it is 
 natural to suppose, that this solitary 
 but cheerful being had been lost in 
 his infancy, and had s.ubsisted on fruits 
 and herbs. How wild men are pro- 
 duced in the immense forests on the 
 continent, has hitherto escaped the 
 vigilance of naturalists ; but that 
 there are such, the foicgoing instance 
 to that of the wild man* brought 
 over from the forests of Germany, as 
 a present to King George I. confirms. 
 Gentleman's Magazine, 1779. 
 
 * Peter the Wild Boy died at Broadway 
 Farm, near Great Berlibamstead, in Here- 
 fordsliire, A. D. 1785. 
 
 Gunpowder. 
 
 IN the year 1649, 4th Jan. sixty 
 houses were blown up by a blast of 
 27 barrels of gunpowder, which ac- 
 cidentally took fire at a ship-chaiul- 
 lers, in the neighbouihooti of Barking 
 Church, Tower-street, London. It 
 unfortunately happened that a paribh 
 feast was tlicn held at the Rose Ta- 
 vern, next door but one to the church, 
 at which the principal part of the 
 paii^hioners were assembled, all of 
 whom perished, and were mangled ii^. 
 a most dreadful nianner, except the 
 mistress of the tavern, who was found 
 sitting upright in the bar, and a 
 drawer standing without it, with a 
 pot in his hand, both being suffocated 
 
 with smoke and dust, and preserved 
 in these postures by the casual falling 
 of timber, without the least sign of 
 fracture or contusion. But the most 
 remarkable thing wa«, a cradle, with 
 a child in it, blown upon the upper 
 leads (if Barking Church, which the 
 next day was taken down, withouc 
 either of them having received the 
 least damage. 
 
 Chamberlain's Survey of London. 
 
 Giant. 
 SOME masons digging near the 
 iuins of a castle in Dauphine, in a 
 field, (which by tratlition had long 
 been called the Giant's Field) at the 
 depth of 18 feet, discovered a brick 
 tomb, 30 feet long and 12 wide, and 
 S feet high, on which was a grey 
 ^tone, with the words " Theutobo- 
 chus Rex" cut tht reon. When the 
 tomb was opened, they found a hu- 
 man skeleton entire, 25 feet and a 
 half long, 10 feet wide across the 
 -.boulders, and 5 feet deep from the 
 breast bone to the back : his leetlv 
 were about the size of an ox's foot, 
 md his shin-bone measured foar feet. 
 January II, l6'l3. 
 
 A Miser. 
 
 A FF,W days ago, died at Wim- 
 borne Minster, in Gloucestershire, 
 aged near 70, JNJr. Weeks, a farmer, 
 who, from a very small beginning, 
 scraped together near 3000/, For 
 the last six or seven years he was bed- 
 iidden ; but even then was as intent 
 to heap up as ever. Last winter at 
 midnight, a man entered his chamber, 
 and went off with between three and 
 four bundled pounds; which loss cut 
 him to the heart; and so determined 
 was he to make it up by penury, that 
 he almost starved himself and the old 
 woman who attended him, having laid 
 out no more money, in the last eight 
 or nine months, than fifteen shillings ; 
 a sum which eluded the search of the 
 robber. Public Ledger, 20th Jan. 1784.
 
 InteresthiiT Narratives^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, S;c. 21 
 
 Lr."-liih and French Ideas oj Pickling 
 and Preserving. 
 
 A POOR simple Foreigner, not loag ago, 
 \>'hose knowledge of English was, simply, 
 
 80 so; 
 At a shop window reading, " Good Pickles 
 
 sold here," 
 To the shopwoman said, " Vat is Peeckies, 
 
 m> dear?'' 
 " Why Pickles," says sht, " is a sort of a 
 
 name, 
 " Like Preserves, and the meaning is nearly 
 
 the same; 
 " For pickling preserves, thougt not quite 
 
 (iie same way, 
 *• Yet '(is much the same thing, as a body 
 
 may say." 
 The Foreigner bow'd, and gave thanks for 
 
 his lesson. 
 Which, the next day, at dinner, he made 
 
 a tine mess on ; 
 For a loud clap of thunder caus'd Miss 
 
 Kitty Xervous, 
 To start from her chair, and cry, " Mercy 
 
 preserve us!" 
 While he, keeping closely his lesson in view, 
 Cr^'d, " Mercy preserve us and peeckle us 
 
 too!" 
 
 EPITAPH. 
 
 Written on Foote, the Mimic and Drama- 
 tist, who, several years before his death, 
 lost one of his nether limbs. 
 
 HERE a pickled rogue lies whom we could 
 not preserve. 
 Though his pickle was true Attic Salt ; 
 One Foote was his name, and one leg did 
 bim serve. 
 Though his wit was known never to hall : 
 A most precious limb and a rare precious 
 pate, 
 With one limb taken off for wise ends; 
 Yet the hobbler, in spite of the hitch in 
 bis gait, 
 Never fail'd to take off his best friends: 
 Taking off friends and foes, both in man- 
 ner and voice, 
 Was his practice for pastime or pelf; 
 For which, 'twere no wonder, if both 
 should rejoice 
 At the day when he took off himself! 
 
 Epitaph. 
 
 HERE old John Randai. lies, who telling 
 
 of his (ale, 
 Lived threescore years and ten, such virtue 
 
 was in ale, 
 Ale was his meat, ale was his drink, ale did 
 
 his heart revive ; 
 And if he could have drank his ale, he still 
 
 bad been alive. 
 
 ON SHADRACH JOHNSON, 
 
 IVho kept the IVheat-Sheaf, at Bedford, and 
 had twenty-four children by his first wife, 
 and eight by his second. 
 
 SHADRACH lies here who made both sexet 
 
 happy, 
 The women with love-toys, the men with 
 
 nappy 
 
 Euitaph. 
 
 HERE lies Robin Masters, Faith 'twas hard 
 To (ake away our honest Robin's breath ; 
 
 Yt( surely Robin was full weW prepared; 
 Robin was ahvay 's looking out for Deathi 
 
 Epitapht 
 
 Here lies J. H. in expectation of the daf 
 
 'of Judgement, 
 What he was that day will shew.' 
 
 Parish Church of Leeds, Yorkshire. 
 UNDER this stone do lie six children small. 
 Of JoHX WiLLixGTON of the North Hall. 
 
 Epitaph. 
 
 HERE litb the Body of Betty Bawden, 
 Her wid a lived longer but her cawden. 
 And now hers dead and turn'd to clay, 
 'Twas she's bad leg carr'd she away. 
 
 ON GAY THE POET. 
 By Pope. 
 
 WELL then poor Gav lies underground ! 
 
 So there's an end of honest Jack I 
 So little Justice here he found, 
 
 'Tis tea to one he'll ne'er come back. 
 
 SITTINGBOURNE. 
 
 T WAS as yee be, now in dust and clay, 
 Have mercy on my sowl yat i)owgbt hit 
 with yi bloJde, 
 For Elisabeth of Cheritea paternoster say, 
 Sumtymes I was the wyff of Edmonde 
 Puodde. 
 
 ST. PANCRAS, LONDON; 
 
 On an Attorney. 
 
 HERE lies one, believe it if yon can, 
 Who, tho' an attorney was an honest man ; 
 The gates of Heav'n for bim will open wide, 
 But will be shut 'gainst all the tribe beside. 
 
 ON ROGER GARDINER, 
 JVho died April 13, 16.58. Aged 21 Yeart, 
 and 9 Months. 
 ROGER lies hore before his hour. 
 Thus does the Gardiner lose his flower.
 
 22 Literari/ Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Uncommon Story of a Sleep-Walker. 
 
 A YOUNG gentloman went down 
 from London to the West of England, 
 to the house of a very worthy gentle- 
 man, to whom he had the honour 
 to be related ; it happened that the 
 j^entleman's house at that time was 
 full, by reascm of a kinswoman's wed- 
 ding that had been lately kept there; 
 he therefore told the young gentleman 
 he was very glad to see him, and that 
 he was very welcome to him: but. 
 said he, I know not how I shall do 
 for a lodging for you, my cousin's 
 marriage not having left a room free, 
 except one, which is haunted ; but if 
 you will lie there, you shall have a 
 very good bed, and all other acconi- 
 Kiodations, Sir, replied the young 
 gentleman, you will very much i>blige 
 me in allowing me to sleep there, for 
 I have often coveted to be in a place 
 that was haunted. The gentleman, 
 very glad that his kinsman was so 
 welfpieased with his accommadations, 
 ordered the chamber to begot ready, 
 and a good fire to be made in it, it 
 being winter lime. When bed-time 
 came, the young gentleman was con- 
 ducted up to his chamber, which, 
 besides a good (ire, was furnished 
 with all suitable accommodations, 
 tind having recommended liimself to 
 the Divine protection, goes to bed; 
 where, having lain some time awake, 
 find finding no diiturbance, he fell 
 asileep ; out of which he was awaked 
 about three o'clock in the morning, 
 by the opening of the chamber-door, 
 and the coming in of somebody ^i the 
 appearance of a young woman, hav« 
 ing a night-dress on her head, and 
 only her chemise on; but he had no 
 perfect view of her, his candle having 
 burnt out, and the fiie that was in 
 the room, gave not sufficient light to 
 rhstinguibh the ()I)ject distinctly. But 
 this unknown visitant going to the 
 chimney, took the poker, and stirred 
 wp the fire, by the flaming !ii;ht 
 
 whereof, he could discern the appear- 
 ance of a y<jung gentlewoman more 
 distinctly ; but whether it was f^esh 
 and blood, or an airy phantom, he 
 knew not. This appearance having 
 stood some time before the tire, as if 
 to warm herself, at last walked two 
 or three times about the room, and 
 then came to the bed-side; where, 
 having stood a little time, she took 
 up liie beo-clothcs, and went into 
 bed, pulling the bed-clothes upon her, 
 and lay very quietly. The young 
 gentleman was a little startled at this 
 unknown bed-fellow, and, upon her 
 approach, lay on the further side of 
 the bed, not knowing whether he had 
 better rise or not. At last, lying very- 
 still, he perceived his bed-fellow 
 breathe, by which, guessing her to be 
 flesh and blood, he drew nearer, and 
 taking her by the hand found it waim, 
 an(l that it was no airy phantom, but 
 substantial flesh and blood ; and find- 
 ing she had a ring on her finger, he 
 took it off unperccived. 'I'he lady- 
 being all this time asleep, lie laid !ii3 
 hand gently upon her, in order to f!is- 
 tinguish her sex, at the same time not 
 disturbing her; which done, she flung 
 off the bed-clothes, and getting up» 
 walked three or four times about the 
 room, in the same manner as she had 
 previously done; then standing a while 
 before the door, opened it, and went 
 out, closing it after her. The young 
 gentleman, perceiving by this, in 
 what manner the room wss haunteil, 
 rose up, and locked the door on the 
 inside; then returned to bed, and 
 slept soundly till morning. At an 
 early hour tiie master of the house 
 came to him, wishing to know how 
 he did, and whether he had been dis- 
 turbed, lie told him, there was an 
 apparition appeared to him, but beg- 
 ged the favor of declining any lurther 
 explanation, until the wh'>lc family 
 Were assembled : the gentleman com- 
 plied, aT-sonng him, that as lung as 
 he was well, he U'\i c^mte salibfitd.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, F.pigrayv.s^ Poetn/, Sf. i5 
 
 2j 
 
 The desire lie whole family had. 
 to know the issue of this atfair, iriiiH 
 them dress with iiiorc expedition thati 
 usual; so that there was a genera! 
 assemblage of the ladies and gentle- 
 man before eleven o'clock, not one ot 
 them being willing to appear in her 
 liishabilie. When they were all met 
 in the great hall, the young gentle- 
 man told them, that he had one favor 
 to desire of the ladies before he 
 would say any thing, and that was, 
 to know whether any of them had lo^[ 
 a ringr The young lady, from whoM- 
 finger it was taken, having missed it 
 all the morning, and not knowing 
 liow she lost it, was glad to hear ot 
 it again, and readily owned she had 
 missed her ring, but whether lost or 
 mislaid, she knew not. The youn^i 
 gentleman asked her, if that was it, 
 giving it into her hand, which ac- 
 knowledging to be her's, and thank- 
 ing him, he turned lo his relation, 
 the master of the house , ' Now, Sir,' 
 said he, ' I can as>ure you, (takini; 
 the lady by the hand) this is the lovelv 
 spirit by which your chamber i-^ 
 liaunted.' And thereupon repeated 
 what has been related. 
 
 Words cannot express the confusion 
 the young lady appeared to be in at 
 this relation; she declared herself 
 perfectly ignorant of all he said: 
 but believed it might be so, because 
 of the ring, which she well remem- 
 bered she had on v\hen going to bed, 
 and knew not how hhe had lost it. 
 
 Tiiis relation gave the whole com- 
 pany a great deal of diversion : in 
 conclusion, the father declared, that 
 since his daughter had already gone to 
 beJ to his kinsman, it should be his 
 tault if he did not marry her, bo 
 being willing to bestow her upon 
 him, and give her a good portion. 
 This generous offer was so advantage- 
 ous to the young gentleman, that he 
 could by no Oieans refuse it ; and hn 
 lete bed-fellow, hearing what her fa- 
 ther had sai<l, was easily prevailed on 
 10 accept biiD for a husband. 
 
 A Murder Uiscoiertd. 
 WHEN Dr. Dome, afierwaids 
 lean of Si. Paul's, London, took pos- 
 session of the first livin;, he ever had, 
 ;e took a walk into {he church-yard, 
 vliere the sexton was digging a grave, 
 and throwing up a skull, the iJoctor 
 took it up lo contemplate thereon, 
 u)d found a small sprig or headless 
 .ail sticking in the temple, which lu3 
 irew out sccrelly, and wiapt it up in 
 the corner of his hamikcrchief. lie 
 then demandeii of the grave-digger 
 whether he knew whose skull thatwa>«. 
 lie said he did veiy well, declaring it 
 was a man's who kept a brandy shop; 
 an honest, diunken fellow; who one 
 night having taken two quarts of that 
 comfortable creature, was found dead 
 in his l)ed next ramming. Had he a 
 wife? Yes. What character does she 
 bear? A very good one: only the 
 neighbours reflect on her because she 
 married the day after her husband 
 was buried. Thi? was enough for t!ie 
 1 doctor, who, under the pretence of 
 visiting his parishioners, called on 
 I her: he aske<l her several questkjiis, 
 ! and among others what sickness her 
 i husband died of. She giving him the 
 i same account he had before received, 
 I he suddenly opened the handkerchief, 
 and cried in An authoritative voice, 
 I " Woman, do you know iliis naiU" 
 ' She was struck with horror at ihe un- 
 expected demanti, and instantly own- 
 ed the fact. 
 
 Morning Chronicle, Nov. 19, 1TS4. 
 
 A Country Qvarter Sessions. 
 THREE or four parsons, three or four 
 
 Three or four lavryero, three or foar liars: 
 Three or four j)arisbes bringing appeals; 
 Three or four bands, and tliree or four seals. 
 
 Three or four bastards, three or tourw s; 
 
 T.(g, rag and bobtail, tJiree cr four scores. 
 Three or four bulls, and three or four cows, 
 Tiiree or fijor orders, and three or four bowj; 
 Three or four statutes not understood; 
 Thrne or four paujicrs, itrajing for food: 
 Three or four roads, (hat never were mended, 
 Ttree or fonr scolds — aua tkis sessioo u 
 ended.
 
 g4 Literary CuriosUics^ Epitaphs^ IVonderful Errnt<;, 
 
 Instance of the Sns^ncity of a Cat. 
 
 MANKIND in jrcneral seem to 
 agree in celebrating llie courage and 
 invincible fidelity of the do":, while 
 the unfortunate cat is the general 
 object of dislike, and is considered 
 incapable of a permanent attachment. 
 A French journal contains an accdunt 
 which at once proves tlie sagacity and 
 faithful afl'ertion of a cat. 
 
 " A physician of L\ons, of the 
 name of Martin, states, that he was 
 required by a justice of peace to ex- 
 amine the body of a person who had 
 recently been murdered. He accord- 
 ingly went and found, in a small rooni, 
 the body of a young pregnant woniaii 
 bathed in blood. A spaniel sat at 
 her feet, licked them from time to 
 time, and howled in a ukjsI piteous 
 manner. It did not bark when they | 
 entered, but shewed the most une- 
 quivocal signs of grief. A large | 
 white cat also attracted their attention | 
 it was sittnig on the t<ip of a chest of j 
 drawers at the end of the room ; it 
 was immoveable, with its eyes fixed | 
 upon the body, anct its looks at once I 
 denoted horror and fear. After a j 
 slight examination of the body, he | 
 told the justice of peace that he would 1 
 return the next morning at ten o'clock | 
 with some other medical persons, to I 
 open the body in the presence of the 
 persons suspected of having commit- 
 ted the murder. He accordingly 
 went there the next day ; the first ob- 
 ject that struck his attention was the 
 cat in the same place, in the same 
 attitude in which she had been the 
 preceding evening, and her looks Iiad 
 acquired such a degree if horror and 
 ferocity that some apprehensions were 
 entertained that she was mad. The 
 room was soon filled with officers of 
 justice and others; there was a con- 
 siderable noise from the rattling of 
 their arms, and fiom the conversation 
 which ensued, but it neither caused 
 the cat to alter her position, or with- 
 draw her attention iVoni the corpse. 
 
 He was procrerling to open the bodv, 
 in order to extract the child fif)m the 
 womi), when the persons susjvrted of 
 the murder were brought into the 
 room: at tliat i.isfant the «yes of the 
 cat sparkled with fury, her hair ro^e 
 up, she s)irun«,' into the middle of the 
 room, stopjted for an instant, and 
 then laid down by the side of the dog, 
 and seemed to partake in his indi^na- 
 lion for the murder, aiul \\\s fidelity 
 for his mistrt'ss. These nuite but ttr- 
 tibie witncsM'-* did not esca()e the 
 observations of the persons accused, 
 they ap|>eHri(l greatly shocked, biul 
 all iheir boldness left them." 
 
 To-Day nni To-Morrote. 
 
 TO-d«y man'* drp«J in gold and •ilvpr bri|;lit 
 \Vrap|)'d inaihnnid t) fure tn-innrrow nig'iit; 
 To-day lu-'d fe€>diui.' nil drliri()ii<i f<K)d. 
 To-ni(irrn\T dead, unahle In do gmxl : 
 To'day lip> nic«-, and bcoids to feed on 
 
 crumt)!", 
 To-morrow he'» hirnvrlf a di»h for wormt ; 
 To-day hi> tiononr'd, and in va«t e«tecm, 
 lo-morrow not a tiocgnr >aliie* tiim : 
 To-day lie rai«f« from llie vchet bt-d, 
 To-morrow lie* in ooe that* made uf lead : 
 lo-day hi-* house, tho' larce, he thinks 
 
 but «mall, 
 lo-morr-iw no command, no honiie al all : 
 today ha<i forty «ervan(H at tii« Kale, 
 lo-morroxTNrorn'd, noloneorihcm will ;»ait ; 
 I'o-day piTfiim'd nn ^nvet «>• any rose, 
 To-morrow stink* in every body'* Dn«e; 
 lo-day he"t ^rand. majettir, all di'li|;hl. 
 Ghastly and pair before to-inorrnw ni|;hl ; 
 True, as the *criplure >ay^, " man'i* life'a 
 
 a span ;" 
 The present moment ii the life of man I 
 
 OX TWO BUTCHERS, 
 
 (Their real S'amci Bone and Skin J, irh» 
 atUmplid to rai.ie the Markets. 
 
 TWO Kutchrr* thin, 
 CaliM Hone ^ud Skin, 
 
 Would siarvf the Town, or near it; 
 But, be it known 
 To >"^i;i and Done, 
 
 That FUih aud Blood won't bear it. 
 
 Drinking driven atra'j Cart, 
 'TIS clear, vinre Brandy kill'd Tom'* scold* 
 
 iiiSf wife, 
 That drinking ridi us uf (be cars* of life.
 
 Interesting^ Narratives^ Enis:oias, E))i^rams^ Poetri/, Src. 55 
 
 An affecting Letter, 
 
 AS mv situation at present admits 
 neither of relief nor roinfort, I Ho 
 not trouble >ou with this on my own 
 account, but in liopcs tirat the picture 
 I am about to draw, may be the 
 means of preserving fathers from the 
 like calamity. 
 
 I am now in the tittv-sixtli year of 
 niv a^. 1 had the misfortune, at for- 
 ty, to h)se an excellent wite, who left 
 ine one only tlan^hler, four years old. 
 Mv love for mv wifr was surli, that 
 I believe nothini; but the aftVdi.n 
 1 bore to this litile ple«l^c, could have 
 given me resolution to survive her. 
 
 Little Fanny (for that was lur name) 
 was now become my onlv care and 
 pleasure, and I enjoved more and 
 more of the latter every day, as she 
 pre«v more capable of bi-inj my com- 
 panion. I fancied I did not ojily trace 
 in her the features, but that poodness 
 and swecines"* of temper, which had 
 distinguished her nn»lht'r from the 
 jjrealer part of her se.x. She was 
 always a strant;cr tc> those M-verilics, 
 which some parents contend for, as 
 necessary in the education of 'hildrcn ; 
 and therefore, instead of fear, she 
 contracted for me that reverence, 
 which love and gratitude inspire into 
 good and great minds towards supe- 
 riors. In short, I had in my l:ttle 
 Fanny, at fourteen years old, a com- 
 panion and a friend. 
 
 She was now the mistress of mv 
 liouse, and studied my humour in 
 every thirij. She often declared, her 
 liighest satisfaction was in pleasintj 
 me, and all her actions confirmed it. 
 \Vhen business })«rniit»ed me to be 
 with her, no enijagement to a'.iy com- 
 pany or pleasure, could force my 
 Fanny from me; nor did she ever dis- 
 obey me, unless by doin:; tliat, which 
 she knew would most please me, con- 
 trary to my own request, as by sacri- 
 ficing her innocent dnersions abroad, 
 to keep ine cojnpany at home. 
 
 On my part, I had no satisfaction 
 but in what mv child was concerned. 
 She was the delight of my eyes, and 
 the jov of my heart. I became an 
 al)«olute slave to a very laborious 
 business, in orilcr to raise her fortune, 
 ami airsrandise her in the world. 
 These tho'i^hls n»ade the greatest ta- 
 tiiines not only easy, but pleasant; 
 and F h.ive walked a hundred times 
 through the rain, with great eheerfid- 
 ness, comfortmg myself, that by these 
 moans, my Fanny would hereafter 
 ride in her coarb. 
 
 She was about citihtcen years of 
 age, when I began to obserTf some 
 little alteration in my Fanny's temper. 
 Mer cheerfulness had now frequent 
 interruptions, and a sigh would some- 
 times steal from her, which never 
 escajH'd my observation, though I 
 believe it often escaped her own. I 
 presently guessj-d the true reason of 
 I this change, and was s ion after con- 
 I vinced, not only that her heart had 
 received some impressions of love, 
 but likewise who was the object of it. 
 The man, whom I will call I'lii- 
 lander, was on njany accounts so de- 
 serving, that I verily LelicNe I should 
 have been prevailed on to favour my 
 child's inclinations, though his fortune 
 was greatly unequal to what I had a 
 right to demand for her ; had not a 
 ' youns gentleman, with a very large 
 I estate oflercd himself to my choice. 
 ; I was unable to resist such an acqui- 
 ; sitiou of fortune, and of happiness, 
 as I then thongiit, to my daughter, 
 I jiresently agreed to his proposals, 
 and introduced him to her, as one 
 whom 1 intended for her husband. 
 
 As soon as the first visit was ended, 
 Fapny came to me, prostrated herself 
 at my knees, and Legged me, as I 
 tendered her future hjppiness, never 
 to mention this mateii to her more, 
 nor to insist on her receiving a second 
 visit from Leontius (torso I will call 
 this gentleman) whom, would to God 
 1 had never heard of.
 
 26 LiteraVT/ Curiosities^ Epitaphs, IVonderful Events, 
 
 Now was the first muinent I uttered 
 a liarshvvord to my poor child, who 
 was bathed in tciirs (as I am while I 
 am writinij) i told her in an angry 
 tone, that I was a better judj^e of 
 what would contribute to her future 
 happiness than herself; that she made 
 me a very unsratefid return for all 
 the cares and labours, I had under 
 gone on her account, to refuse me 
 the first command of iniportance 1 
 had ever laid on her; esj»e*.ially as it 
 Was only to give me tlit satisfacliun 
 of seeing her happy, lor which I had 
 agreed to leave myself a beggar. 
 
 I then left her, as I had no reason 
 to expert an immediate answer, to 
 ontemplateon what I said: but at my 
 de})artu'e, told her, that if she e^- 
 pected to see me more, the terms must 
 be, an absolute compliance with m\ 
 commands, and then she should never 
 ask me agii/i. 
 
 I saw her no i ore that evening; 
 and the next morning early received 
 a nsessage from her, that she could 
 no Ionj:er endure my absence, or the 
 apprehension of my anger, and beg- 
 ged leave to attend me in n\y dressing 
 room. I immediately sent for her, 
 and when she appeared, 1 said — Well, 
 Fanny, I hope you have thoroughly 
 considered the matter, aiKJ wil! not 
 make me miserable by denial of this 
 first— No, Fapa, answered she, you 
 shall never be miserable, if your jjoor 
 ranuy cm prevent it. I have coum- 
 dtred, and am resolved to be obe- 
 dient to yijii, whatever may be the 
 consequence to me. I then cauuht 
 her in my ;irms, in an agony of pas- 
 sion, and floods of tears burst out at 
 once fioni both our eyes. 
 
 The eagerness of Leontius soon 
 completed the match, as there re- 
 mained no obstacles to it, and he be- 
 cauie possessed of my all : for beside 
 my darling child, my little companion, 
 my frieiul, he carried from nic almost 
 every farthing: i was worth. 
 
 The ccreiaony beinjj over, tlie 
 
 young coupie retired into the country, 
 and I had the pleasure of seeing my 
 Fanny run away in a coach and srx of 
 her own. Little did I then think, 
 that it was the last unsullied pleasure 
 I was to derive from her sight. 
 
 They returned at the end of a 
 month, though they had proposed to 
 >tay longer; and my child, the mo- 
 ment she arrived in town, immediately 
 sent me word she would visit me the 
 next morning. I re[)aired hastily to 
 her husband's house; but guess ns-y 
 surprise, when a servant told me that 
 neither his master r.or lady were at 
 home. I returned, thinking to have 
 met with her at my own house, but 
 in vain. I now began to grow ex- 
 tremely uneasy at my disappointment : 
 [ went oi.ce more to lier husband's 
 li'Mjse, and received the same ai»swer 
 s before, I then inquired for her 
 maid, wiio was at last produced to 
 me with her eves swollen with tears; 
 and from her I learned, that the vil- 
 lain Leoutius had insisted on her not 
 visiting me, confined her to her room, 
 and ordered all the servants to carry 
 no messaj^e or letter from her. 
 
 1 flew up stairs, and burst open the 
 door of the room, which was locked. 
 [ then found my child in a situation 
 which, with the other circumstances of 
 our meeting, 1 am unable to describe. 
 
 As soon as passion permitted, she 
 spoke to me as follows: "Sir, lam 
 undone ; my husband is jealous of 
 me for a man whom I have never seen 
 since our uiarriage. He found me 
 reading a letter I had formerly receiv- 
 ed from Philander, and snatched it 
 from me, which he nu'ghl have com- 
 manded, for ! never have, nor never 
 would disobey him. This letter hav- 
 ing no dale, he fancied I had ju>t 
 received, and hath treated me ever 
 since with iidrnmanily not to be de- 
 scribed. When I have endeavoured 
 to convince him of my innocence, he 
 has spumed rie from him with indig- 
 nation, and these poor arms, iii ittuin
 
 Interesting Narrathes., Enigmas^ Epigrams, Poetry, 8fC, 2T 
 
 to their tenderest embraces, liavt" 
 many marks of liis violence upon 
 them." Here she sunk upon me. — 
 Words cannot paint my atiiiction, or 
 the horrors I then fell ! I shall has- 
 ten now to the conclusion of this 
 subject. 
 
 Her husband was at length con- 
 vinced thiit she received the letter as 
 she affirmed, and was outvNardly re- 
 conciled : but jealousy is a distemper 
 seldom to be totally eradicated, and 
 her having preserved ihis letter, and 
 the reading it again, were circum 
 stances he could not forgive. H*- 
 behaved to her with such cruelty, that 
 in half a year, from a slate of florid 
 beaith, she b'>came pale and jneagre. 
 Philander, who I believe, really loved 
 her to dijtraction, took that opj)or- 
 tunity of renewing his addresses ; her 
 husband's barbarity drove iier into lii* 
 arms, and one evening she made her 
 escape with him 
 
 The day after I heard this news, I 
 received from her the following letter: 
 
 *' My dear Papa, 
 
 " I am not insensible of my 
 guilt : but to resist the sincere and 
 tender passion of Philander, was no 
 longer in my power; and the good- 
 natured world, when they oppose to 
 this, the most cruel treatment from 
 an injurious husband, to whom duty, 
 and not love, had joined me, vill 
 perhaps pity your poor Fanny. 
 
 But, alas! these are tritiing con- 
 siderations. The anger of the best 
 of fathers, and the concern which he 
 may suffer on my account, are the 
 objects of my terror. Nor can I bear 
 the thoughts of never seeing you 
 more. Believe me, it is this appre- 
 hension alone which stands between 
 me and happmess, and was the last 
 and hardest struggle I had to over- 
 come. 1 will therefore hope that 1 
 may be forgiven by him, that I n)ay 
 •d'^mn be blest by p^iying my duty to 
 the kindest and tenderest of filhers: 
 for in that hope consists my bein«j,"&c. 
 
 The unlucky Question. 
 
 •DEAR friend,' says Toiu Cogg, a deep 
 
 gambler by trade, 
 As by cliauce he met Foote once at Bath oo 
 
 the P'raiie, 
 ' Since last I left London,' (then fetch'd a 
 
 deep sigh,) 
 ' I've hid the misfortune of losing an eye.' 
 When the wag, whose wild raillery nothing 
 
 could tau:e, 
 Reply'd, ' lost an eye ! prithee Tom, at what 
 
 game ? 
 
 At the Election for the eoinity of Doitn- 
 shire in Ireland, irhen Lord C ' * * tvm 
 TURNED our and Colonel Mead turned 
 IN, one of his lordshi))'ssufVOTiTE.Bs ica^ 
 hanged i.i c.ains for robbing the mail. 
 The fullouiiig JRU d'esp rit was found 
 nailed to the gihbcl by one of the electors 
 going to the poll. 
 
 The humkle Request of Jemmy Barlow, 
 hanged for Robbing the Mail when on 
 the road to give my Lord C a plumper. 
 
 ALL you w ho pass along this way. 
 Pray stop, and hear \> hat I do say ; 
 (>h, pity this my di-rmai station; 
 I robbed the mail — my frie;:d the nation; 
 
 But little rogues submit to fate, 
 Whilst great one's thrive and live in state;* 
 A few words more — attend, 1 pray, 
 
 fiive my respects to Cas gh. 
 
 I humbly beg his kind protection. 
 To send me safe to the election. 
 For I believe my vote's as good, 
 As some who pass this lonely wood; 
 Fell him to stretch his lauthorn jaws, ^ 
 And try to gain John Bull's applause, >- 
 And not like me defy the laws. 3 
 
 Or else they 11 soon reverse my doom, 
 Atid here suspend him in my room, 
 Where,, though exalted stiil on high. 
 His flippant lougue will cea>-etolie. 
 And all his speeches he co.itined 
 to whistling in the passing wind. 
 Go tell him this from Jemmy Barlow 
 The kiddy from the town of ('arlow, 
 NVho hopes within a little space, 
 To meet him in a warmer place; 
 Where he may take his seat of sin, 
 Nor interest need to vote him In, 
 Were fiends will be his lirm protectors, 
 And not brib'd votes and mock electors. 
 
 On the Derivation of the Word News. 
 
 THE word explains itself, without the 
 muse. 
 
 And the four letters speak, from wheace 
 tomes news: 
 
 From h'orth. East, West, South, the so- 
 lution's made, 
 
 Each quarter gives accounts of war & trade. 
 E 2
 
 28 Lilerary Curiosities, Fpitaphs, Wonderful Txenls, 
 
 Extraordinary Deieclion of Thieves. 
 
 IN October, 1S05, Crocker, jun. 
 and W. Smith, two of the patrole 
 belon<;iiig to the Public Office, Bow- 
 si reet, went to CroNclou fair, in pur 
 suit of a n)an of bad character, 
 against whom they liad charges. — 
 About nine o'clock, as they were re- 
 turning to town, on a hackney coacli, 
 they sTopped at the White Hart pub- 
 lic house, on the Brixton Causeway. 
 Crocker went into the tap-room, wht re 
 he was accosted in a very familiar 
 manner by a yontli about sixteen years 
 of age, witli "How are you? what 
 luck have you liad to-day?" The 
 oflicer did not know him, but an- 
 swered " None in j)articular." The 
 boy then said, " I have had j;ood 
 luck; nie and the kid (pointing to a 
 boy about fourteen years of age) have 
 shook a dhmmi/ (picked a pocket) a( 1 
 the goff (fair) witli about 20/. of 
 screens (l^ank notes); and observed, 
 the boy, his companion, was as good 
 a kid (boy) as little Jack Parker, who 
 was lately lugged (transported), and 
 that they had shook, and had got 1'Z 
 JogiUs (pocket handkerchiefs) that 
 morning. He had been scurft (taken 
 into custody) at the gajf, for drawitig 
 (taking any thing out of the pocket) 
 a reader (a pocket-book), but he had 
 dinged it (tlirown it away), he was 
 kept in lumber (confinement), and 
 then they kicked him, and let him go. 
 Crocker, finding the boy mistook 
 him for some thief, did not undeceive 
 him, and determined not to discover 
 himself till he had learnt all he could 
 of their depredations, and conversed 
 v.ith him in his own way, and verv 
 properly asked him what he had done 
 with the swftg (property) that had 
 been stolen ? The boy said he had 
 sent it to London. Crocker then, in 
 a very friendly maimer, asked him if 
 he was going to town? He would give 
 him and his })al (companion) a ride, 
 which the boys agreed to, and they 
 
 got upon the coach with Crocker. 
 They liad not got far on the road, 
 when tiiev observed a boy. The two 
 bovs 0!i the coach gave ths rogues' 
 wiii-.le, which the boy on the r«>ad 
 understood, ami Cn)cker asked wiio 
 he was? They answered he N\as an- 
 other good kid. in a short time after, 
 the bo}s proposed to Crocker to go 
 with them to Aslley's, au{\ shol^e some 
 dummies and get some thimbles 
 (watches), as he had not got an> thim- 
 bles for two or three days past; to 
 wiiich Crocker agreed. The chle.<»t 
 boy then asked Crocker if he ever 
 went to any of the spells (plaj.s), or 
 if he ever went to any balls or routs, 
 because, if they could auree to go 
 together to such places, they might 
 contrive to get hold of some old swell 
 (a rich man) and manage to draw him 
 of a good dummy. He further said, 
 he never touched any thing but dum- 
 mies, fogells, and thimbles. He said 
 he mtaiit to buy a prad (a horse), as 
 he intended to go a dragging (rob- 
 bing waggons on the road). The 
 coach stopped at the Cannon public 
 house in the western road, when 
 Crocker told the boys they would 
 have some gin before they went to 
 Aslley's; and, iiaving got them into 
 the house, he said to them, Come, 
 my lads, I must see what you have 
 got about you ; w hen the youths 
 stared at each other with the utmost 
 astonishment, made use of the most 
 horrid blasphemous oaths, and said, 
 \Vhy, is it jxissible we have been talk- 
 ing to traps (police officers) ? The 
 patrole soon convinced them they 
 were so, being provided with hand- 
 cufl's for them all. The officers lodged 
 them in a watch-house, and the next 
 iiiorning, they underwent an ex- 
 amination before Mr. Bond, at the 
 Public Othce, Bow-stroet. Mr. Bond 
 asked the eldest boy how he came to 
 be so deceived as to suppose Crocker 
 to be a thief, and tell iiim his depre- 
 dations. He replied, that he observed
 
 Jnlercsting Xnrratives^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetrij, SfC. 29 
 
 Crocker, speaking to a lliitl* i;i the 
 fair, and he sii|)posecl, of course, he 
 was hkewise one, and tliat lie was 
 there for the purpose of pickinii 
 pockets as well as himself. Anion:: 
 the depredations he told Crocker he 
 had committed at the fair, was one 
 on Wednesday, when he got a reader, 
 with between QOl. and 30/ in IVank 
 notes in it, and four bankers' checks ; 
 two of them he had got smashed 
 (passed), and of the other two pay- 
 ment was stopped. 
 
 Btll's Messenger, October 7, 1805. 
 
 A remarkable Instance of a Person 
 being; tried for Murder, on the 
 pretended Information of a Ghost. 
 
 A FARMER, on liis return from 
 the market at Sontham, in the conniN 
 of Warwick, was murdered. A man 
 went the next morning to his wife, 
 and inquired if her husband came 
 lionie the evening before; she replied 
 no, and that she was under the ut- 
 most anxiety and terror on that ac- 
 count. Your terror, said he, cannot 
 equal mine ; for last night, as I lay 
 iu bed, quite awake, the apparition 
 of your husband appeared to me, 
 shewed me several ghastly stabs in his 
 body, told me had been murdered by 
 such a person, and his carcase thrown 
 into such a marl-pit. 
 
 The alarm was given, the pit 
 searched, the body found, and the 
 wounds answered the description of 
 them. The man, whom the ghost 
 had accused, was apprehended and 
 committed on a violent suspicion of 
 murder. His trial came on at War- 
 wick, before the Lord Chief Justice 
 Raymond, when the jury would have 
 convicted, as rashly as the justice of 
 the peace had committed him, had not 
 the judge checked them. He address- 
 ed himself to them in words to this ef- 
 fect: " I think, gentlemen, you seem 
 inclined to lay more stress on the evi- 
 dence of an apparition than it will bear. 
 
 I ciiunot say that I tive much credit 
 to these kinds of stories: but, be that 
 as it will, we have no right to follow 
 our own private oj)inions here : we 
 are now in a couit of law, and must 
 determine according to it; and I 
 know not of any law now in being 
 which will admit of the testimony of 
 an aj)j)arition ; nor yet, if it did, dotli 
 the ghost appear to give evidence. — 
 Crier, ''said he, "call the ghost;" 
 which was thrice done to no manner 
 of purpose: it appeared not. "Gen- 
 tlemen of the Jury," continued the 
 Judge, " the prisoner at the bar, as 
 you have heard, by undeniable wit- 
 nesses, is a man of a mest unblemish- 
 ed character; nor hath it appeared, 
 ill the course of the examination, that 
 there was any manner of quarrel or 
 grudge between him and the party 
 deceased. I do verily believe him to 
 be perfectly innocent; and, as there 
 is no evidence against him, either 
 positive or circumstantial, he must be 
 acquitted. But from many circum- 
 stances which have arisen during the 
 trial, I do strongly suspect, that the 
 gentleman, who saw the apparition, 
 was himself the murderer; in which 
 case he might easily ascertain the pit, 
 the stabs, <!tc. without any super- 
 natural assistance; and on such sus- 
 picion, I shall think myself justified 
 in committing hini to close custody, 
 till the matter can be further inquired 
 into." This was immediately done, 
 and a warrant granted for searching 
 his house, when such strong proofs 
 of guilt appeared against him, that 
 he confessed the murder, and was 
 executed at the next assize. 
 
 The fVorld. 
 THE world's a book, writ by Ih' eternal art 
 Of the great Author, printed in man's tieart, 
 'Tis f2i]se\y printed, tho' divinely penn'd, 
 And all th' errata will appear at th' end. 
 
 On n Person lame of his Right Hand. 
 THO' Nature thee of thy right hand bereft; 
 Right well thou voritest with tliy baud 
 that's lejt.]
 
 so Liiermy Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 The fortunate Dmntr. 
 A POOR unbeneficed clergyman, 
 beins; in want of a dinner, bethoiigh! 
 Inniself of paying a visit to Lambeth 
 Palace, wheie it was, in the days of 
 bter-drinking Britons, a <ustom fron 
 linif immtraorial, to keep an open 
 table for casual visitants. After he 
 had dined, being r^itiier dissatisfied, 
 because ti^e servant who supplied him 
 with victuals had entirely forgot his 
 drink, he desired the favour of pen, 
 ink, and paper, when he wrote the 
 following lint s for his Grace's perusal : 
 
 Piscis in diMO 
 Mihi datur, 
 Ab Archipisco. 
 
 Po sed non ponatur, 
 
 Quia Don uiibi bibere datur. 
 
 The prelate, after reading the 
 paper, sent for the writer, and de- 
 sired a translation, which was imme- 
 diately given: 
 
 They sent me fish 
 
 In a dish 
 
 From the Arcbbish. 
 
 Op is omitted here 
 Because there was no beer. 
 
 With this conceit his Grace was so 
 well pleased, that he bestowed a good 
 living upon its author. 
 
 Bon Mot of Mr. Sheridan. 
 
 THE Castle Spectre produced 
 large receipts at Drury-lane 'Iheatre. 
 About the end of the season, Mr 
 Sheridan and Mr. Lewis, the author, 
 had some dispute in the Green-room, 
 when the latter oflered, in confirma- 
 tion of his ari;nnients, to bet Mr. S. 
 all the money which the Castle Sj)ec- 
 tre had brought, that he was riaht. 
 *• No," said Mr. Sheridan, " I can't 
 aft'ord to bet so much ; but I'll tell 
 you what I'll do — I'll bet you all it's 
 worth" 
 
 PoUio's Library. 
 rOLLIO, who values nothing!: that's within, 
 Bif js books;, like beavers— only Ibr their 
 
 The choice of a Wife hy Cheese. 
 
 THF.Rl'' liv'd in York an age ago, 
 
 A man whose name was Pinilioo: 
 
 Hp lov'd three sisters passing welt, 
 
 Hut which the best he could not tell. 
 
 T!e«e .sisters three divinely f.iir, 
 
 Snew'd Pimlico iheir tenderest care* 
 
 Jor each was elegantly bred. 
 
 And all were much inclin'd to wed: 
 
 And all made Pimiico their choice, 
 
 Anti prais'd him with their sweetest voice. 
 
 Young Pim, the gallant and the gay, 
 
 I il;e iss divided among the hay, 
 
 At last resoh ti to gain liis ease, 
 
 .And choose his wife by eating cheese. 
 
 He wrote his card, and seai'd it up. 
 
 And said with them that night he'd snp, 
 
 Desir d that there might only l/C 
 
 Cood Cheshire clieese, and but them three; 
 
 He was resolv'd to crown his life. 
 
 And by that means to fix his wife. 
 
 the girls werepl*-as'd at his conceit ; 
 
 Kach dress'd herself divinely neat ; 
 
 With faces full of peace and plenty, 
 
 tJlooniing with roses under twenty. 
 
 For surely Nancy, Betsey, Sally, 
 
 Were sweet as lilies of the valley, 
 
 Kut singly surel> buxsoine Bet 
 
 Was like new hay and uiignionet; 
 
 But each surpass'd a poet's fancy, 
 
 For that, of truth, was said of Nancj: 
 
 .\nd as for Sal, she was a Donna, 
 
 .\s fair as those of old L'rotona 
 
 ^^ ho to Appelles lent their faces 
 
 To make up madam Helen's graces, 
 
 I o those the gay divided Pim 
 
 Came elegantly smart aud trim : 
 
 When every smiling maiden, certain. 
 
 Cut of the cheese to try her fortune. 
 
 Nancy, at once, not fe. ring— caring 
 
 To shew her saving ale the paring ; 
 
 And Bet, to shew her gen'rous mind, 
 
 Cut, and then threw away the rind; 
 
 While prudent Sarah, suie to please. 
 
 Like a clean maiden, scrap'd the cheese. 
 
 Thisxione, young Pimlico replied, 
 
 ' .*^ally 1 now deciare my bride : 
 
 ^^ith Nan 1 cant my welfare put. 
 
 For she has prov'd a dirty slut: 
 
 And Betsey, who has par'd the rind. 
 
 Would give my fortuue to the wind. 
 
 Sally (he happy medium chose. 
 
 And I with Saily will repose ; 
 
 She's prudent, cleanly; and the m.in 
 
 Who fixes on a nuptial plan 
 
 Can never err, if he will choose, 
 
 A wife by cheese — before he ties the noose.' 
 
 Kisses. 
 KISSES are prologues, which fore-rua 
 A greater action to be done; 
 And, to a hungry lover's taste. 
 Are iuvitatioQs, uut tl.e feast.
 
 Inlerest'wg Nairalkes, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poelnj, ^r. SI 
 
 Coronation of Bonaparte. 
 
 The folIovvinE: particulars are uivfii 
 bv a geiitleiiiai) wlio was proseiit, in 
 a letter, dated Dec. 10, If.Oo: - 
 
 I ha«i a most excellent view of the 
 whitle procession, at Mrs. B.'s daiiirli 
 ter's, in La Hue St. Honore, an<i must 
 confess it was ijrand bcvond any tiling' 
 I ever saw, TI.e j^rand sii:lit at the 
 peace was but a nieie pn;)pet-s!iow to 
 it. The Pope came by exactly at 
 nine o'clock, as was announced ; he 
 was in a carriai'e which the Km|)res' 
 bad lent him for the day, or al least 
 as long as he wants it for ceremonies 
 I saw his Holiness very plain ; a foolish 
 i)elas of a priest before him, carrying; 
 across, seated on a mule, made nuich 
 fun for the Parisians; the poor fellow 
 was hatless, in the most bitter cold 
 that could be conceived ; the cold w:;^ 
 so intense, that some of the soldicis 
 actually dropped down in fits, bavini;; 
 been exposed to the air from three in 
 the morning, without any relteshment. 
 I'he emperor was not so punctual ; he 
 did not come forward till j)ast eleven 
 o'clock. His carriage ^^as superb in 
 the hijjhest degree; not that heavy 
 clump which characterises your Lord 
 Mayor's coach, but elejjantly grand; 
 eight cream-coloured horses, deco- 
 rated in a new style of elegance, ex- 
 cited the admiration of all the spec- 
 tators. These horses, I understand, 
 are our cousins, taken from the stud 
 formerly belonging to the king of 
 England at Hanover, and the same 
 breed as his. From the arrival of 
 the Pope to that of the Etiiperor, a 
 space of two hours, there was a con- 
 tinued succession of troops; (he ca- 
 valry all galloped. Some regiments 
 of cuirassiers, or men in half armour, 
 had a beautiful effect; and a regiment 
 of Mamelukes, on horseback, pre- 
 ceded his majesty at a little distance. 
 1 observed it was a strange medley, 
 to see Turks in a proceession on a re- 
 ligious ceremony, and in connection 
 
 with his Holiness; but was informed 
 I hat tliose Mamelukes were all Catho- 
 lics. 1 had a line view of the Em- 
 peror, who bowed as he went, though 
 not a soul cried f^ive L' Empereur f 
 In the evening, Mrs. 15. and 1 went 
 to the Thuilleries, to see the caval- 
 cade return, by the light of 500 
 t(»rchcs. The coachmen and footiiioti 
 of the carriages had all white stock- 
 ings, with clocks, embroidered with 
 •;old and spangles which bad a won- 
 derful grand effect at night, as, re- 
 llected by the lumps and torches, you 
 could see them glitter. 
 
 The next (iay (Monday) was de- 
 voted to the people, and they W' re 
 permitted to ramble at large, in search 
 of various amusements, which were 
 apjiointed in all parts, to prevent th(;in 
 assembling in one place. At the Place 
 de Concorde, between the Tliuilleries 
 and Champ Elysecs, they sent up six 
 balloons: the first was a small gilt 
 one, about as big as a coach body; 
 it went off with astonishing velocify, 
 and was imperceptible in three mi- 
 nutes. Afterwards a large one was 
 sent up, about a quarter as big as 
 Garnerin's; there was an immense 
 large goldcH eagle fastened to the 
 bottom of it, where the car should 
 be; it had a very |»retty efi^ect ; it 
 was accompanied by four small ones, 
 which had the apjiearance of melons; 
 tVoni each extremity proceeded a 
 smoke, which very soon burst into a 
 flame, and consumed them all. The 
 large one, with the eagle, went to an 
 inmiense height, but at last took fire, 
 (designedly, no doubt) and, whea 
 burnt, the eagle came fluttering down 
 in the Elysian Fields, 
 
 I went yesterday to Notre Dame, 
 as they admit the public gratis, to see 
 how the Church w as decorated at the 
 time of this most august ceremony. 
 It is in a style of majestic grandeur 
 that strikes the mind with awe. Tlie 
 middle aisle» from the gieat door to 
 the altar, is fitted up on both sides
 
 S2 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 with three tier of boxes, in a tlieatri- 
 cal style, hung with crimson and gold ; 
 between the tier of boxes, is a large 
 eagle in gold, de distance, tm distance. 
 The Pope's chair, or throne, was on 
 the left side of the sanctuary, near 
 the alar: it is elegantly neat, white 
 satin, embroidered with stars of gilt 
 metal. 
 
 An Account of the superstitious and 
 horrid Custom, practised by the 
 Brahmin Women, of bnrnin»; them- 
 selves on the Decease of their Hus- 
 bands. 
 
 SIGNOR Nicola Foatana de Cre- 
 mona, a doctor of physic, now at 
 Calcutta, was witness on the 24! h of 
 November, 17S4-, to the shocking 
 sight of a woman, the wife of a 
 Brahmin, burning herself on the 
 same pile with ln-r husband. The 
 sight was more afiecting, as the wife 
 was both young and handsome. The 
 ceremony commenced about sun-set. 
 During the preparation of the funeral 
 pile, the females were employed in 
 preparing the widow for the veluntary 
 sacrifice; they administered opium to 
 her, with a view to annihilate those 
 feelings, which so miserable a death 
 must naturally excite. After taking 
 the opium, she was stripped, and 
 plunged into the river, in order to 
 purify her for that state which they 
 taught her to believe she must enjoy, 
 viz- that she would live happy uith 
 her husband, three thousand tive hun- 
 dred years in the Elysian Fields. 
 Having been washed, and some 
 clothes thrown about her, she reso- 
 lutely walked towards the wood, and 
 boldly placed herself at the feet of 
 her deceased husband ; there she un- 
 dressed herself, and distributed her 
 clothes to those around her; she said 
 a few words, was lied fast to the 
 dead body, and the pile was instantly 
 set on fire. As the tlnmcs reached 
 Ler, she began to scream ; the whole 
 
 company instantly struck up a doleful 
 kind of hynui, and the more her 
 screams increased, the louder lliey 
 raised their voices. When the wood 
 and bodies were reduced to ashes, 
 each departed home; and thus ended 
 the process of this horrid, supersti- 
 tious, and most unnatural ceremony. 
 
 Description of London. 
 
 HOUSES, churches, inix'd logethor, 
 Strcils uiiple.isant, in all weather; 
 Prisons, palaces contiguous, 
 Uates— a l>ridge, the Tliames irriguous; 
 Gaudy things, enoui^h to tempt ye, 
 Shcwy outrides, insides enip'y ; 
 Bubbles, trades, mechanic arts, 
 Coaches, wheelbarrovTs, and carts, 
 Warrants, haililFs, hills unpaid, 
 lords of laundrestes afraid ; 
 Rogues that nightly rob and shoot meu. 
 Hangmen, aldermen, and footmen; 
 Lawyers, poets, priests, physicians. 
 Noble, simple,— all conditions; 
 Worth— beneath a thread-bare cover, 
 Vi'lainy, deiianch'd all over; 
 Women, black, red, fair, and grey. 
 Prudes, and such as never pra/; 
 Handsome, ugly, noisy, still, 
 Some that will not— some that will; 
 IMany a Ixau without a shilling, 
 iMany a Nvidow — not unwilling; 
 Many a bargain, if you strike it. 
 This is London— how d'ye like it? 
 
 The Metamorphose^ of Fat and Lean. 
 
 TWO Attornies, one day, met a vraggon 
 
 and team. 
 And, as Lawyers for laughter can soon find 
 
 a theme, 
 Of the driver Iheyask'd in a bantering vein, 
 Why bis fore horse was fat and the rest 
 
 were all lean? 
 When, to shew that two sharps may be 
 
 foil'd l;y a flat,— 
 Why 'lis true, (^says the fellow) old Dum- 
 
 Itling's main fat ; 
 But before he got into a horse's employ here, 
 ' i is said that the puif-bellied rogue was a 
 
 Lawyer, 
 And the rest, they could never in bulk be 
 
 such Giants, 
 Because heretofore the poor blasts were all 
 
 Clients. 
 
 ON A MISER. 
 r.EADKK beware, immoderate love of pelf. 
 Here lies the worst of thieves— who robbd 
 bimseir.
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas, Epigra^ns, Pottiy, S^'C. 3S 
 
 hast Words of Remarkable Characters 
 
 Mr. WATSON, uncle to the late 
 Marquis of Rockiiiatiam, a man of 
 immense fortune, finding himself at 
 the point of death, desired a friend 
 who was present lo reach him a 
 drawer, in which was an old shirt, 
 that he might put it on. Being asked 
 why he would wis!) to change his linen 
 when he was so ill ? Recaii'>e, rt plied 
 he, I am told that the sh rt I die in 
 must be the nurse's perquisite, and 
 that is gnod enough for her. 'i'hii 
 was as bad as the old woman, who 
 with her last breath blew out an inch 
 of candle; because, says she, I can 
 see to die in the dark. 
 
 Mrs. BURNET, daughter of 
 Dean Stanhope, being near fainting, 
 and just at the point of death, the 
 attendants rubbed her temples with 
 Hungaiy water. She entreated thev 
 would desist, adding, — though I feel 
 it refreshing, I am afraid it will make 
 my hair turn grey, 
 
 CAROLAN, a poet and composer, 
 was born blind. He was a great Us- 
 quebaugh tippler, which at length 
 finished him: and when he was at 
 the point of death, he called for a 
 cup of his beloved liquor, and at- 
 tempted to drink it, but could not. 
 On this failurff, he said it was hard 
 that two such friends should part, at 
 least without one embrace, and there- 
 fore kissed the cup and died. 
 
 SEWARD, the great Duke of 
 Northumberland, when he found his 
 death approaching, ordered his ser- 
 vant to clothe him in a complete suit 
 of armour; and sitting erect on his 
 couch, with his spear in his hand, he 
 declared that in that posture, the 
 only one worthy of a warrior, he 
 would patiently await the fatal rao- 
 Went. 
 
 THE commanderof the ship Royal 
 Charlotte, Guineaman, died on his 
 passage to England : before he ex- 
 pired, he whimsically desired that his 
 b(»dy should be pre'-e:ved in one of 
 his puncheons of rum, til! landed in 
 England, which was strictly complied 
 with ; for as soon as dead, a puncheon 
 was hoisted on deck, the head knock- 
 ed out, and the body immersed there- 
 in. On the arrival uf the vessel, the 
 corpse was brought on shore and in- 
 terred. 
 
 A CHESHIRE waggoner, who 
 had got together u little estate, seems 
 to have displayed as much magnan- 
 imity as any of the above. He find- 
 ing himself very ill, sent for a cler- 
 gyman and an attorney, who both 
 came in at the same time, and found 
 all his family weeping round his bed. 
 The man of law having prepared his 
 pen and ink, desired to know how he 
 would chuse to leave his property. 
 The sick man, having mustered up 
 sufficient strength for his last effort, 
 spoke as follows : — The house and all 
 the sticks in it to Mary, his wife, as 
 long as she lives; and then divided 
 among the rest of them. The wag- 
 gons and horses to Tom; — the plows 
 and cows to Dick, with half of the 
 farm; — the other half and one hun- 
 dred pounds to Will; — th'^ee hundred 
 pounds to Moll ; — the same to Belt. 
 And now, write lawyer; pray parson; 
 cry wife; and bellow children; for, 
 by the Lord, I'm dying. 
 
 Morning Chronicle) ITST. 
 
 Love cooled. 
 
 POOR Hal caugtit hi^ death, standiag un- 
 der a spout, 
 
 Expecting till midaight when Naa would 
 come out ; 
 
 But fatal his patience, as cruel the dame. 
 
 And curs'd was the weather that queach'd 
 the man's flame, 
 
 ' Whoe'er t'loa art that read'st these moral 
 rhyme.s, 
 
 * Make love at home, and go to bed betimes.' 
 F
 
 34 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 The following: Account of the Death 
 of Lord Nelson, is authenticated 
 hy Mr. Beatty, the Surgeon, and 
 Mr. Bourke, the Purser of the 
 Victory, 
 
 ABOUT the middle of the action 
 with the combined fleets, on the 21st 
 of October, 1 805, Lord Nelson was 
 upon the quarter-deck, where he had 
 resolved to take his station during the 
 whole of the battle. A few minutes 
 before he was wounded, Mr. Bourke 
 was near him ; he looked stedfastiy 
 at bin), and said " Bourke, I expect 
 every man to be upon his station," 
 Mr. Bourke took the hint, and went 
 to his proper station in the cockpit. 
 
 At this time his lordship's secretary, 
 Mr. Scott, who was not, as has been 
 represented, either receiving directions 
 from him, or stanciing by him, but 
 was communicating some orders to 
 an officer at a distant part of the 
 quarter-deck, was cut almost in two 
 by a cannon shot. He expired on 
 tiie instant, and was thrown over- 
 board. 
 
 Lord Nelson observed the act of 
 throwing his secretary overboard, and 
 said, as if doubtful, to a midshipman 
 %vho was near him, *' Was that Scott 1" 
 The midshipman replied, he believed 
 it was. He exclaimed " Poor fel- 
 low I" He vvas now walking the quar- 
 ter deck, and about three yards from 
 the stern, the space he generally 
 walked before he turned hack. His 
 lordship was in the act of turning on 
 the quarter-deck, with bis face towards 
 the enemv, when he was mortally 
 ivounded in the left breast by a mus- 
 <iuet ball, supposed to have been fired 
 f:om the mizen-top of the Redoubt 
 able, French ship of the line, which 
 the Victory had attacked early in the 
 battle. 
 
 He instantly fell. He was not, as 
 has been related, picked up by Capt 
 Hardy. In the hurry of the* battle, 
 which was then raging in its greatest 
 
 violence, even the fall of their beloved 
 conm)ander did not interrupt the 
 business of the quarter-dec'k. Two 
 sailors, however, who were near his 
 lordship, riMsed him in their arms, 
 and carried him to the cockpit. He 
 was immediately laid upon a bed, and 
 the following is the substance of the 
 conversation which really took place 
 in the cockpit, between his lordship, 
 Capt. Hardy, Mr. Bourke, and Beatty, 
 Upon seeing him brought down, 
 Mr. Bourke immediately ran to him. 
 " I fear," he said, " your lordship is 
 wounded." — " Mortally, mortally." — 
 " I hope not, my dear lord ; let Mr. 
 Beatty examhie your wounds." — "It 
 is of no use," exclaimed the dying 
 Nelson ; " he had better attend to 
 others." 
 
 Mr. Beatty now approached to ex- 
 ann'ne the wound. His lordship was 
 raised up ; and Beatty, whose atten- 
 tion was anxiously fixed upon the eyes 
 of his patient, as an indication the 
 most certain when a wound is mortal, 
 after a few moments, glanced his eyes 
 on Bourke, and expressed his opinion 
 in his countenance. Lord Nelson 
 now turned to Bourke, and said, 
 
 *Tell Hardy to come to me." 
 
 Bourke left the cockpit. Beatty now 
 said, " Sufier me, ray lord, to probe 
 the wound with my finger — I will give 
 you no pain." Lord Nelson permit- 
 ted him, and, pressing his left hand 
 round his waist, he probed it with the 
 fore finger of his right. 
 
 When Bourke returned into the 
 cock-pit with Captain Hardy, Lord 
 Nelson told the latter to come near 
 him — " Kiss mc. Hardy," he ex- 
 claimed. Captain Hardy kissed his 
 cheek. — '* I hope jour Lordship," he 
 said, " will stili live to enjoy your 
 triumph." — " Never, Hardy," he ex- 
 claimed; " I am dying — I am a dead 
 man all over — Beatty will tell you so 
 — bring the fleet to an anchor — you 
 have all done your duty — God bless 
 you." — Captain Hardy how said, " I
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, S^c. S5 
 
 suppose Collingwood, my dear Lord, 
 is to conimand the fleet?" — "Never" 
 exclaimed he, "whilst Hive;" mean- 
 inn:, doubtless, that, so long as his 
 gallant spirit survived, he would never 
 desert his duty. 
 
 What passed after this was merely 
 casual ; his Lordship's last words were 
 to Mr. Beatty, whilst he was expiring 
 m his arms, " I could have wished to 
 have lived to enjoy this ; but God's 
 will be done." — " My Lord," ex- 
 claimed Hardy, "you die in the midst 
 of triumph."—" Do 1, Hardy]"— 
 He smiled faintly — "God be praised !" 
 These were his last words before he 
 expired. 
 
 Extracrdinai'y Instance of Friendship 
 between ttto Negro-Slaves, 
 
 AT a public sale of negro-slaves at 
 Santa Cruz, about .some few years 
 ago, among the great numbers that 
 Christian avarice had been either the 
 immediate, or secondary means of 
 placing on a level with the cattle daily 
 brought to our Smithfield market, 
 were two, each of them apparently 
 about the age of thirty, whose de- 
 portment seemed superior to the rest. 
 What their rank had really been, they 
 with a sullen dignity seemed resolved 
 to conceal from every one. — Yet min- 
 gled with a haughty demeanor to all 
 besides, there appeared in every look 
 and action the tenderest afl'ection and 
 heart-felt attachment to each otiier. — 
 When the Captain of the vessel which 
 had brought them thither, entered 
 on the necessary business of distribut- 
 ing these marketable goods into the 
 proper lots for sale, both of them, in 
 the most submissive manner, and with 
 an eagerness that spoke more than 
 common feelings, clung rouiid his 
 knees, and liuHg about his garments, 
 intreating him only to favor them so 
 far, as to permit both to be appointed 
 to the same lot, by which means they 
 iiiight serve one master, and at least 
 
 enjoy the trifling satisfaction of bein<» 
 companions, even in slavery. — But, 
 even this poor request, eitherth rough 
 the brutality of their salesman, or 
 from apprehensions of their combin- 
 ing in some mutinous design, was 
 denied them. 
 
 Yet, earnest as they seemed in 
 their desire, the refusal was received 
 with manly resignation by them both, 
 and when upon the point of bein*' 
 delivered to their respective masters, 
 they only begged the leave of a few 
 words with one another, permitted 
 oirt of hearing, though not out of 
 sight, of those lliey were to serve.— 
 This was allowed them : when after a 
 few minutes' conversation, and a close 
 embrace, they patted, and were sent 
 to their respective stations. — Seven 
 days after this transaction, they both 
 (as it afterwards ajipeared) were miss- 
 ing at the same hour; nor weie they, 
 though the strictest search was made 
 after them, to be found, till at about 
 a week's distance, a planter riding 
 through a thicket, which lay in the 
 mid way between the two plantations 
 they had been destined to, saw, to 
 his great surprise, two bodies hanging 
 on one troe, locked fast, and folded 
 in each other's arms, embracing and 
 embraced ; which, on inquiry made, 
 proved to be these faithful, yet des- 
 perate friends. 
 
 Such was the attachment, even in 
 death, of mortals, formed like our- 
 selves, with souls informed with every 
 noble, generous seniiment, and ca- 
 pable of cultivation like onr own; 
 but whom, with the most barbarous 
 oppressioii, we at our pleasure deprive 
 of liberty, of life, and even of those 
 advantages, which common humanity 
 induces us to bestow upon the mere 
 domestic brutes, the horse and the ox. 
 
 Women's Faults. 
 WE men have many faults; 
 
 Poor women have but two :— 
 There's nothing good they say; 
 There's notbii.^ good they do. 
 F2
 
 S5 Literart/ Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 MONSIEUR TONSON. 
 
 Written by J. Taylor, Esq. and spoke by 
 Mr^ Favecett. 
 
 THERE liv'd, as fame reports in days of 
 
 yore, 
 At least some fifty years ag^o, or more, 
 A pleasant wight on town, nam'd Tom 
 King, 
 A fellow wlio was clever at a joke, 
 Expert in all the arts to lease and smoke, 
 In short for strokes of humour quite the 
 thing. 
 
 To many a jovial clnb this Kinff was known, 
 
 With whom his active wit unrivalled shone, 
 
 Choice spirit, grave free mason, buck 
 
 and blood, 
 
 Would crowd, his stories and bon mots to 
 
 hear. 
 And none a disappointment e'er conld fear, 
 Hishumourflow'd in such a copious flood. 
 
 To him a frolic was a high delight, 
 
 A frolic he would hunt for day and night, 
 
 Careless how prudence on the sport might 
 froWn ; 
 If e'er a pleasant mischief sprang to view. 
 At once o'er hedge or ditch away he flew, 
 
 Nor left his game 'till Lc had run it dowu. 
 
 One night our hero rambling with a friend, 
 Near fam'd St. Giles's cbanc'd bis course to 
 bend, 
 Just by that spot the Seven Dials heigh). 
 'Twas silence all around, and clear the coa$t, 
 The watch, as tisual, dozing on his post. 
 And scarce a lamp display'd a twinkling 
 light. 
 
 Around this place there liv'd the numeroas 
 
 clans, 
 Of honest, plodding, foreign artizans. 
 
 Known at that time by name of refugees ; 
 The rod of persecution, from their home, 
 Compell'd the inoffensive race to roam, 
 
 And here they lighted like a s warmof bees. 
 
 Well, our two friends were sauntering 
 
 through the street. 
 In hopes some food for humour soon to meet , 
 When, in a window near, a light they 
 view ; 
 And though a dim and melancholy ray, 
 It seem'd the prologue to some merry play, 
 So towards the gloomy doom our hero 
 drew. 
 
 Strait at thedoor hegavc a thundering knock 
 
 (The time we may suppose near t«o o'clock) 
 
 ' I 11 ask (says King) if Thompson lodges 
 
 here?' 
 
 ' Thompson, (cries t'other) who the devil's 
 
 he?' 
 * I know not (replies King') but want \o»ff 
 ' What kind of animal will now appear.' 
 
 After some time a little Frenchman came. 
 One hand display'd a rushlight's trembling 
 flame. 
 The other held a thing they call cnlode; 
 An old strip'd woollen night-cap grac'd hi* 
 
 head, 
 A tatter'd waistcoat o'er one shoulder spread. 
 Scarce half awake, he heav'd a yawaiug 
 note. 
 
 Though thus untimely rous'd, he courteous 
 
 smil'd, 
 And soon address'd onr wag in accents mild, 
 
 Bending his head politely to his knee; 
 ' Pray saie, vat want you, that you come 
 
 so late? 
 ' I beg your pardon, sare, to make yon vate, 
 ' Pray tell me. sare, vat your commands 
 with me'' 
 
 ' Sir, (replied King) I merely thought to 
 
 know, 
 ' As by your house I cbanc'd to night to go: 
 ' But really I've disturb'd your sleep, I 
 
 fear ; 
 < I say, I thought that you perhaps could 
 
 tell, 
 ' Among the folks who in this street may 
 
 dwell, 
 ' If there's a Mr. Thompson lodges here?' 
 
 The shivering Frenchman, tho' not pleas'd 
 
 to flud 
 The business of this unimportant kind, 
 
 Too simple to suspect 'twas meant in jeer ; 
 Shrugg d out a sigh, that thus his rest should 
 
 break, 
 Then with unaltered courtesy he spake, 
 • No iare, no Mon^it BrTonson lodges here.' 
 
 Oar wag begg'd pardon and tow'rds home 
 be sped. 
 
 While the poor Frenchman crawl'd again 
 to bed. 
 But King resolv'd not thus to drop hisjest, 
 
 So the next night with more of whim than 
 grace, 
 
 Again he made a visit to the place. 
 
 To break once more the poor old French- 
 man's rest. 
 
 He knock'd— but waited longer than before, 
 No footstep seem'd approaching to the door, 
 
 Onr Frenchman lay in such a sleep pro- 
 I found. 
 
 Kingwitlihisknocker thundered then again. 
 Firm on his post determined to remain, 
 
 And oft indeed he made the door resound. 
 
 At last King hears him o'er the passage creep. 
 
 Wond'i'ing what fiend again disturb'd his 
 
 sleep : 
 
 The wag salutes him with a civil leer: 
 
 Thus drawling out, to heighten t'ne surpri«e. 
 
 While the poor Frenchman rub'd his heavy 
 
 eyes, 
 
 ' Is there a Mr. Tbompsoa lodgel here.'
 
 Inleresting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Porhy, SfC. 37 
 
 The Freochman faltcrotl with a kind o'. 
 
 < Vy, sare, i'm sure I tell you, sare, la»i 
 ni^bt, 
 (And btre be labonr'd wi(h agigh sincere 
 ' No Jlousieur Ton*-on iu de varld I know 
 ' No Monsieur Tonsou beie, I lold y(»u so, 
 » Indeed, Sare, dcre no .Monsieur Tonsoi. 
 here.' 
 
 Some more excuses (endured, oil King goet, 
 And the old Frencbmaii sought once oiorv 
 repose ; 
 The roijrue next ni^ht pursned hi« old 
 career, , 
 
 'Tn^ as long indeed bffore the man came nigL 
 And tbea be uttered in a piteous cry, 
 * Sare, pou my soul, no Monsieur Tonsob 
 here.' 
 
 Our sportive wight his usual visit paid. 
 And the next night came forth a prattling 
 maid, 
 Wbo»e tongue indeed than any jack went 
 faster : 
 Anxious she strove his errand to enquire. 
 He said 'twas vain her pretty tongue to tire, 
 ■ He xhould not stir till be bad eeen bei 
 master.' 
 
 The damsel then began in doleful state, 
 The Frenchman's broken ."lumberHlo relate, 
 And begg'd he'd call at proper time of day ; 
 King told Iter ' she mu»t fetch her master 
 
 down, 
 * A chaise was ready, be was leaving town, 
 < But first bad much of deep coocero to 
 say.' 
 
 Thus urg'd she went the snoring man to call. 
 And long indeed she was obliged to bawl, 
 
 •Ere she could raise the torpid lump of 
 clay. 
 At last he wakes — he rises — and he swears, 
 But scarcely had he totter'd d^iwn the stairs, I 
 
 When Kingattacks him in the usual way. 
 
 The Frenchman now perceived 'Iwas all in 
 
 vain, 
 To thif tormentor mildly to complain, 
 
 And strait in rage his crest began to rear, 
 
 ' Sare, what de devil make yon treat me so. 
 
 ' Sare, I inform you, g.are, tree nights ago, 
 
 * Got lam, 1 swear, no .Monsieur Tonson 
 
 here.' 
 
 Trae as the night, King went, and beard 
 
 a strife, 
 Between the harrass'd Frenchman and his 
 wife, 
 Which shoo Id descend to chase the fiend 
 away, 
 At length to join their forces they a^ree, 
 And slrai£;ht impetuously turn the key, 
 Prepar'd with mutu.il fury for the fray. 
 
 Our hero, with the firmness of a rock. 
 Collected to receive the mighty shock. 
 
 Uttering the old enquiry, calmly stood. 
 Vhe name of Thompson rais d the storm so 
 
 high. 
 He deeu.'d it then tlie safest plan to fly, 
 With, ' Well ril call when yoo're ia 
 gentler mood.' 
 
 In short, onr hero with the same intent, 
 ^'ull many a night to plague the Freucbmaa 
 went. 
 So fond of mischief was this w icked wit. 
 T Ley threw out water, for the watch they 
 
 call. 
 ISut King, expecting, he escapes from all. 
 Sluusieur at last was furc'd his house to 
 quit. 
 
 Tt happen'J that our wag about this time, 
 t>n some fair prospect sought the Eastern 
 clime. 
 Six ling'rin^ years were there bis tedioua 
 lot, 
 At lengtk content amidst his rip'ning store, 
 He treads again on Britain's happy shore. 
 Aid his long absence in at once forgot. 
 
 To London with Impatient hope he flies. 
 And the same night, as former freaks arise, 
 He f.Tin must stroll, his weli known 
 haunts to trace; 
 ' Ah, here's the scene of frequent mirth,' 
 
 be vaid, 
 My poor old Frenchman I suppose is dead, 
 ' Egad I'll knock and see who holds biJ 
 place.' 
 
 With rapid strokes be makes the mansion 
 
 roar, 
 And while he eager eyes the opening door, 
 Lo! whooheys the knocker's rattling peal? 
 Why e'eu onr little Frenchman, strange to 
 
 say. 
 Had taken his old abode this very day! 
 Capricious turn of sportive fortune's 
 wheel. 
 
 Without one thought of the relentless foe, 
 Who fiend-like haunted him so long ago, 
 
 Just in his former trim he now appears; 
 The waistcoat and the night-cap seem'd the 
 
 same, 
 With rush-light as before he creeping came. 
 
 And King's detested voice astonish'd hearr. 
 
 As if some hideous spectre struck his sight, 
 
 His senses seem'd bewildered with affright. 
 
 Hi* face indeed bespoke a heart full sore; 
 
 Then starting, heexclaim'd in rueful strain, 
 
 ' By Got, here's Monsitur Tonson come 
 
 again!' 
 
 Away he ran, and ne'er wag heard of 
 
 more.
 
 38 
 
 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events^ 
 
 Copy of a Paper delivered by Admi- 
 ral Byng to Wm. Brought Esq. 
 Marshal of the High Court of Ad- 
 miralty, immediately be/ore his 
 Death, having first spoke as fol- 
 lows : 
 
 Sir, 
 
 THESE are my thoughts on this 
 occasion: — I give them to you that 
 you may authenticate them, and pre- 
 vent any thing spurious being pub- 
 lished that might tend to defame me. 
 I have given a copy to one of my 
 relations. 
 
 " A few moments will now deliver 
 rne from the virulent persecution, and 
 frustrate the further malice of my 
 enemies ; nor need I envy them a life 
 subject to the sensations my injuries 
 and the injustice done me must create. 
 Persuaded I am, justice will be done 
 to my reputation licieafter. The 
 manner and cause of raising am) 
 keeping up the popular clamour and 
 prejudice agains^t me will be seen 
 through. I shall be considered (as 
 I now perceive myself) a victim des- 
 tined to divert the indignation and 
 resentment of an injured and deluded 
 people from the proper objects. JNI) 
 enemies themselves must even now 
 think me innocent. Happily for me, 
 at this my last moment, that I know 
 my own innocence, and am conscious 
 that no part of my country's misfor- 
 tune can be owing to me. I heartily 
 wish the shedding of my blood may 
 contribute to the happiness and ser- 
 vice of my country ; but cannot re- 
 sign my ju^t claim to a faithful dis- 
 charge of my duty according to the 
 best of my judgment, and the utmost 
 exertion of my ability for his ma- 
 jesty's honour, and my country's ser- 
 vice. 1 am sorry that my endeavours 
 were not attended with more success, 
 and that the armament under my 
 command, proved too weak to suc- 
 ceed in an expedition of such mo- 
 ment. 
 
 Truth has prevailed over calumny 
 and falsehood, and justice has n-iped 
 off the ignominious stain of my sup- 
 posed want of personal courage, or 
 disaffection. My heart acquits me 
 of these crimes ; but who can be pre- 
 sumptuously sure of his own judg- 
 ment? If my crimes are an error iu 
 judgment, or differing in opinion from 
 my judges, and if yet the error in 
 judgment should be on the other side, 
 God forgive them, as I do ; and may 
 ihe distress of their minds, and un- 
 easiness of their consciencss, which 
 in justice to me they have represent- 
 ed, be relieved and subside, as my re- 
 sentment has done. 
 
 The Supreme Judge sees all hearts 
 and motives, and to him I must sub- 
 mit the justness of my cause. 
 
 J. UYNG. 
 
 On board II. M. S. Monarqxne, 
 in Fort^mottlU Harbuur, 
 
 March 14, 17,57. 
 
 Epitaph on a ilan and hi» Wije. 
 
 STAY, batrhelor, if you have v»i>, 
 
 A wonder to heboid: 
 Iltisband and wife, in one dark pit. 
 
 Lie !)till, and never scold. 
 
 Tread softly tho', for fear «ihe wakes; — 
 
 Hark, »he begins already : 
 You've hurt my head; — my jihonlder akes; 
 
 These sots can ue'er move steady. 
 
 Ah, friend! with happy freedom blest! 
 
 See how my hopes miscarry'd: 
 N'ot death itself can give me rest. 
 
 Unless you die unmarry'd. 
 
 On a dull Speaker disguising himself in 
 a fVig. 
 
 THE choice he made for his dispni^e, 
 Display "d one instance of his wit: 
 
 For who this simple fact denies — 
 The wig was made a block to fit ? 
 
 The Giant Angling. 
 
 HIS anple-rod, made of sturdy oak. 
 His line a cable, which in storms ni-Vr broke 
 His book lie hailed willi a dragon's tail, 
 And sat upon a rock, aud bobb'd for wbalc.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, Z^c. Sd 
 
 Character oj Alfred, King of Eng- 
 land. 
 
 THE merit of tliis prince, both iu 
 private and public life, may with ad- 
 vantage be set in opposition to that 
 ot'anv monarch, or citizen, which the 
 annaliot'any age or any nation can 
 pre^-ent to us. He seems indeed to 
 be the complete model of thai per- 
 fect character, which under tlic deno- 
 mination of a sajje or wise man, the phi- 
 losophers have been fond of delinea- 
 tin:r, rather as a fiction of their imayi- 
 iiation, than in hopes of ever seein<i it 
 reduced to practice: so happily were 
 all his virtues tempered together, sn 
 justly were they blended, and so pow- 
 erfully di«l each prevent the other 
 from exceeding it's proper bounds. 
 
 He knew how to conciliate tiie 
 most enterprising spirit wiih the cool- 
 est moderation, the most obstinate 
 perseverance with the easiest flexibi- 
 lity ; the n)ost severe justice with the 
 greatest lenity ; the greatest ritjour in 
 command with the greatest affability 
 of deportment ; the highest capacity 
 and inclination for science with the 
 most shining talents for action. 
 
 His civil and military virtues are 
 almost equally the objects of our ad- 
 miration, excepting only, that the for- 
 mer, being more rare among princes, 
 as well as more useful, seem chiefly to 
 challenge our applause. Nature also, 
 as if desirous that so bright a produc- 
 tion of her skill should be set in the 
 fairest light, had bestowed on him all 
 bodily accomplishments, vigour of 
 limbs, dignity of shape and air, and 
 and a pleasant, engaging, and open 
 couutcHance. Fortune alone, by throw- 
 ing him into a barbarous age, deprived 
 him of historians worthy to transmit 
 his fame to posterity. Alfred died in 
 the year 89?", aged 52. 
 
 A Law Anecdote. 
 A PLAIN well-intentioned man, a 
 farmer, who appeared to be blessed 
 
 vith strong intellectual faculties, once 
 ^et f matter very clear in the court of 
 thing's Uench. 
 
 On a trial before Lord INlansfield, 
 an action was brounht to ascertain 
 some privileges concerning the boun- 
 daries of two parishes, upon which a 
 great deal of money was spent, to 
 elucidate a question which was not of 
 three-pence consoijiience to either 
 party. In the course of the trial. 
 Lord Mansfield having taken notice of 
 some strong-pi.inted observations 
 which had fallen from the farmer, he 
 begged leave to ask him a few ques- 
 tions, merely for information, con- 
 ccrniug the customs of Overseers, and 
 other officers, who managed the 
 parish-money. The farmer, with great 
 cheerfulness, appeared ready to satisfy 
 him, and his lordship said, in the 
 course of your evidence, I think you 
 mentioned, that the parish-money was 
 often very imprudently applied : now 
 I don't mean to insinuate that t/ou 
 would be likely to misuse it; but as you 
 have mentioned that you were once a 
 church-warden, if you have no objec- 
 tion, I should wish to hear what was 
 done with the money at that time, 
 " Why, my lord, (said the farmer,) I'll 
 tell you, the money was worse applied 
 when / was cliurch-warden, than ever 
 I knew in my life." Indeed, said his 
 lordship, I should be glad to know 
 how. " Why, my lord," (said the far- 
 mer,) " a gentleman who had lived 
 some time amongst us, went into 
 Yorkshire, where he died ; in his will 
 he bequeathed about one hundred and 
 twenty pounds to the poor of our 
 parish. We applied for it often, and 
 often, but it would not do the executors 
 and the lawyers, and one or another, 
 : were glad to keep the money in their 
 I hands — for you know, my lord, 'tis an 
 i old saying, that ' might can overcome 
 t right;' well we did not know what to 
 I do ; I came to your lordship for 
 i advice — you was then Counsellor 
 {Murray; 1 remember, my lord, yoa
 
 40 
 
 Literary Curiosil'iefr, Epilaplis, Womlerftd Events^ 
 
 advised as to file a bill in Chancery — 
 we did so, and after throwins; away a 
 great deal of good money after bad, 
 we got, I think, what tliey call a de- 
 cree, and such a decree it was, that 
 when all expenses were paid, I reckon 
 we were about one hundred and 
 seventy-five pounds out of pocket. 
 
 '• Now, my lord, I leave you io 
 judge, whether the parish-money was 
 not worse employed while 1 was 
 cburch-warden, than ever before." 
 
 To Walter Scott, Esq. on his various 
 Poetical Productions. 
 
 WALTER Scott! Walter Scott ! 
 
 How hard is his lot 
 Who is doom'd to read over thy rhymes; 
 
 Such goblins! such fights 1 
 
 Such sieges ! such frights ! 
 Such customs ! such maouers! such timej ! 
 
 Then conips Waterloo, 
 
 With a holloa bellou ! 
 Of legions disatjied and slain, 
 
 But yon, not content 
 
 With the blood they have spent, 
 Will mangle them over again. 
 
 All! tease our good folks 
 
 No more with this hoax, 
 Wbea John Bull in a doze could not see, 
 
 But now broad awake, 
 
 This tax will not take, 
 He's determined to live, Sir, Soott free. 
 
 Morning Chronicle, Dec. 4, 1815 
 
 Curious IVill. 
 
 THE following is given as a correct copy of 
 the Will of the late Mr. Joshua West, 
 the poet of the Six Clerks' Oflice, Chan- 
 cery-Lane, dated December 13, 1804 : 
 
 Perhaps I die not worth a groat! 
 
 But should I die worth something more | 
 Then I give that, and my best coal, 
 
 And ail my manuscripts in store. 
 To those who shall the goodness have 
 
 To cause my poor remains to rest 
 Within a decent shell and grave — 
 
 This is the will of Joshla West. 
 
 J. A. Berry. 
 John Baines. 
 
 Mr. West died potsessed of decent property, 
 and some valuable MSS. ichich were con- 
 veyed by theabove Will to the person icho 
 fulfilled the modest condition of it. 
 
 Female Fortitude. 
 
 IN Britfainy, a ))rovince of France, 
 lived two young ladies, sisters, co- 
 heiresses of a roinpeteiit fortune, 
 equally esteemed for their perfections 
 of bodv and niind, and tlieir un- 
 common love for each otlier. An 
 officer of a reijiment quartered in the 
 town, not more nobly b<>rn than they, 
 but possessed of a fortune quite above 
 their pretensions, courted the elder 
 to the eqtial satisfaction of the 
 vounger, who hoped to see her sister 
 thus splendidly provided for. Alibis 
 visits and addresses were upon honor- 
 able terms. In short, they appeared 
 in all public places together, and were 
 generally looked upon as husband and 
 wife. 'Ihe regiment, by an order 
 from court, decamped to new quar- 
 ters ill the neighbourhood of Lan- 
 gnedoc. The officer, soon after 
 ordered his equipage to be got ready, 
 in a private manner, and «leparttd. — 
 This news being brought to the 
 younger sister, she was doubly startled^ 
 at his not having taken leave of tJiem, 
 and at his clandestine elopement. — 
 She flew to her sister's apartment, 
 whom she found feeding lier sickly 
 thoughts with the dear image of her 
 absent lover, and thus, as recovering 
 from a sweet reverie, she s|)oke ; 
 " Sister, is it not strange he has not 
 been uith me these two days, to con- 
 sult about our marriage, before he 
 departs for his regiment ?" — Her ge- 
 nerous heart knew no deceit. — "Ah, 
 sister!" replied the younger, bursting 
 into tear"?, " you are deceived." " Why 
 these tears]" cried the other in amaze, 
 
 "speak whatever fliou knowest." 
 
 "Then know," replied the younger, 
 " that last night your lover left the 
 town without taking leave." The 
 thunder-struck lady made no answer, 
 but fainted away, and was scarce out 
 of one fit, before she relapsed into 
 another. At length, recovered by 
 her distracted sister's care, she cried, 
 " I am ruined, 1 am uudone. la
 
 If}lerrsfin;X ^nrrntives^ Eniscmas, Ept'srrnms, Poetr?/^ tSr. 41 
 
 consequence of the most solemn and 
 sacred oatlis, f yielded up my lionor, 
 and now carry the gniwiiifj proof of 
 my shanje. — His still puftinu off our 
 marri-.ii^e whenever 1 pressed him to 
 it, joined to his nii<lnii;ht esca]>f', 
 shew niv ruin too phiinly." — Here 
 prief broke in, and interrnpted her 
 disconrse. Her sympathising sister 
 equally felt the contagious sorrow. 
 Sigiis echoed si^hs, iuid tears obscured 
 the charms of each beauteous face. 
 The younj^er sister comf-'rt<d the for- 
 lorn, as U(!l as rircumstanct s would 
 permit, and prevail'!* on her to con- 
 sent to retii'- to tlicii oiiiitry-seat, 
 for a few davs, that nothinir mi^ht 
 transpire; observiuif, that she had a 
 scheme in her head to niiike tlie gen- 
 tleman fulh; i:is engagements. It was 
 a^rei'd upon, and oxeculod : the af- 
 flicted lady went into the country. — 
 Tiie other sent a trusty servant to the 
 post-house, to hire a chaise and the 
 best Ijorsts; at the same time bidding 
 her wailinij-maid brin^ her traveJlin;,' 
 dress, and immediaft-ly prepare to ijo 
 with her. Ifer orders were punctuallN 
 obeyed ; and in the middle of the 
 third day's most vii;orons pursuit, she 
 overtook him in a town, wheie the 
 regiment had halted. Beini,' informed 
 where he was at dinner, (and jjerhaps 
 boasting of his late exploit) she or- 
 dered to drive thither, a;id sent in for 
 lum. Being an otiicer, and a French- 
 man, lie was too polite to let a lady 
 wait, but came rusining out from table 
 to the post-chaiic. He no soone 
 perceived the sister of her he had 
 abandoned, but instead of being 
 struck with any concern, a tliorough 
 good opinion of himself whispered 
 him, that love had made her under- 
 take that tedious pursuit, and there- 
 fore accosted her with an air of secure 
 triumph, and several compliments of 
 gallantry, desired her company to 
 dinner. She aligiifefl from the chaise 
 — but as she got under the gateway of 
 the inn, slopl him short by the sleeve. 
 
 and said, "Sir, I am come ail thi« 
 distance, and in this haste, to know if 
 you will do justice to my sister, which 
 is, to return with me immediately, 
 and marry her." — To which lie cava- 
 lierly replied, " That if he had any 
 distant thouiihts of marriage, it should 
 be for hersell. and n t fur her sister;" 
 at the same time offering; his hand to 
 load her into the house. Enraged at 
 tiie insidting answer, she assured him 
 she would not go a step forward, nor 
 let go her liolrl, until she had his lasr, 
 his p'»sitive answer, on that hea<l.— . 
 " \Miy then," cried he, " mad^n;, that 
 vou may certainly fuun<l your hopes 
 of having mc to ^wyrself, and be no 
 longer jealous of an insipid sister; 
 she is the last woman in the world I 
 uould 'hink of marrying." At this 
 final declaraliiMi, she with a pistol, 
 shot him through the head, as he was 
 procecdin": uitli his prole^tntion — 
 Down he dropped at her fet, a victim 
 sacrificed to the manes of her sister's 
 honour. The people of the inn and 
 neighbourhood, alarmed at the deei). 
 Hocked round her. She cheerfully 
 surrendered herself to justice. An 
 exact detail of the af]air was sent to 
 court, and by the returning post she 
 received a pardon. 
 
 At her return she informed her dis- 
 consolate friend of what had passed, 
 but received no answer from the statue 
 of grief, save sighs, tears, and looks 
 towards heaven; she refused all kinds 
 of nourishment, and died in a few 
 days, through the double anguish of 
 her lost reputation, and the hasty 
 death of her still dear .lestroyer. 
 1 he generous sister, widowed by the 
 afHicting loss, and rendered averse to 
 the opposite sex, by the execrable 
 specimen she liad punished, retired to 
 a convent from the slanderous Doise, 
 and calumniating bustle of the world. 
 
 On Sir Alberlus Morston, and his Lady. 
 
 //fi first departed ; S'le for one day tr.v'ii 
 i'o live without bim^— lik'd it not, and died.
 
 42 Littrary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Curiam Organ composed of live Pigs. 
 LOUIS XI. king of France, once 
 comniandtd the Abbot of Baigne, 
 a man of great wit, wlio had a 
 knack at inventing musical instru- 
 ments, and always attended the king, 
 and was in liis service, to get him a 
 concert of swine's voices, thinking it 
 impossible. 'J he abbot was not sur- 
 prised, but demanded money for the 
 performance, which was inimediatel\ 
 delivered him, and he wrought a thing 
 as singular as ever was invented: tor 
 out of a great number of iiogs, ot 
 different ages, wliich he mustered to- 
 gether, and placed under a pavilion, 
 covered with velvet, before wiiich he 
 had a sounding board of wood, 
 painted with a certain numberof keys, 
 lie made anorgan, As he played upon 
 the said keys, with little spikes, wl'ich 
 pricked the hogs, he n)ade them cry 
 in such tune and concert, as highly 
 dehghted the king and liis company. 
 
 Anecdote of the late King of Prussia. 
 
 THE late king of Prussia used to 
 dress in so plain a manner, that when 
 he travelled about his states, such o[ 
 his subjects as did not know him, 
 treated liim with no other respect than 
 they would an ordinary man. Once, 
 as he was riding about Berlin, without 
 attendance, and very plainly clad, he 
 perceived a young woman digging in 
 a field, of a gigantic stature, being 
 near seven ftet high. It is we)! known 
 that the king had a particular predi- 
 lection for tall n»en; and as his great- 
 est passion lay tliat way, he spared no 
 expense to procure them from all parts 
 of Europe, for forming, as he did, 
 his re<iimeijt of gian^^nd i,'renadiers 
 out of them. At s^it of this tall 
 woman, he imagined that a couple of 
 tiie kind must produce very large 
 children. He dismoimtod, and, com- 
 ing ii[) to the peasant, entered into 
 conversation with her, and was ov'er- 
 joyed to hear that she was but nine- 
 
 teen years old, still a virgin, and that 
 lier father was a shoemaker. Here- 
 upon he sat down, and wrote the fol- 
 lowing note to the colonel of his 
 guards. 
 
 " You are to marry (he bearer of 
 this note with the tallest of my grena- 
 diers. Take care that the ceremony 
 be performed immediately, and in 
 your presence. You nmst be resp«)n- 
 sible to me for ihe execution of this 
 oriler. 'Tis absolute; and the least 
 delay will make you crinjinal in my 
 sight." 
 
 The king gave this letter to the 
 young woman, without informing ht r 
 of its contents, and ordered her to 
 deliver it punctually according to the 
 directions, and nut to fail, as it was 
 on an afiair of great consequence ; he 
 afterwards made her an handsome 
 present, and continued his route. 
 
 The young W(nnan, who had not 
 the least imagination that it was the 
 king that spoke t(» her, believing if was 
 indiflerent whether the letter was de- 
 livered by another, so it came safe to 
 hand, made a bargain with an old 
 woman, whom she charged with the 
 commission, laying an express injunc- 
 tion on her to say that she had it from 
 a man of such a garb and mien. The 
 old woman faithfully executed her 
 message. The colonel, surprised at 
 the contents of the letter, couhl not 
 reconcile them with the age and figure 
 of the bearer; yet, the order being 
 peremptory, he thought he could net 
 without danger, recede from obeying, 
 and fancied that his master wanted to 
 punish the soldier for some misdemea- 
 nor by matching him in so disagreeable 
 a manner. In short, the marriage « as 
 celebrated before him to the great re- 
 gret of the grenadier, whilst the old 
 won)an, exulting with joy, assumed 
 an air of the hiiihest satisfaction. 
 
 Some <',me at"(er, the king, on his 
 return to Berlin, was eager to see the 
 couple he had ordered to be married. 
 When they were presented to him, he
 
 Intereatijig Karratkes, Enigmas, Epigrams, Pottry, ^c. 43 
 
 fell into a very desperate passion. 
 Tlie colonel in vain endeavoured to 
 justify himself, and tiie king was impla- 
 cable till the old woman confessed the 
 truth, finishing her tale by raising her 
 eves to heaven, and (hanking provi- 
 dence for conferring on her a benefit, 
 the more signal and acceptable to her 
 as unexpected* 
 
 John BiUl^s account of a Church and a 
 Cliristeuin(]. 
 
 JOHN Bull was a bumpkin, horn and bred, 
 At a clodhoppingr village in Glocesfortiliire, 
 And as for this world or the world that's to 
 
 come. 
 To puzzle his noddle 'twas never the near; 
 For he never was known to set foot in a 
 
 church, 
 Till the day he look Dorothy there for a 
 
 wiTe; 
 And says John, * by (he Lore, I was never 
 
 before. 
 In a place like a church, all the days of my 
 
 life!' 
 
 For, says he, ' 1 look'd np, and zeed nine 
 
 or ten fellows, 
 A zingiR°: as lond as their Inng^s coa'd clink; 
 So thinking that I was got into an ale-hou«e, 
 I ax'd, if so be they'd got nothing todriuk: 
 AVhen up come a man and lie pulj'd of afy 
 
 hat. 
 And he told me nt) drink was allowed in (be 
 
 place; 
 So I thought that for zartin he must he the 
 
 laudlord, 
 Or else I'd have fetchd 'n a punch in the 
 
 face. 
 
 And moreauver, thinks I, I won't be zuch 
 
 a vooL, 
 As to kick up a du«t and fr.'s^hten (be bride ; 
 So I went further in for to look at (he place. 
 And odzooks, whata comical xigbi I espy'd, 
 There was men folk and wumeii folk peun'd 
 
 up together. 
 Like so many wethers and ewes at a Fair ; 
 Besides a l.tng booby hutch, buiU up, for 
 
 holding 
 The whole CorporatioD, Jus(assss, and 
 
 Mayor ! 
 
 Then up go( a liltle man into a tub, 
 
 And he look'd just astho'f he'd been roll'd 
 
 in tiie dirt. 
 For you couM not suppose be cond be very 
 
 clean. 
 When he'd got nothing oo but a long black 
 
 lihirt ; 
 
 Excepting a little while slobbering bib, 
 Tnck'd under his chin, and beslitted in two, 
 lb beperch'd in a tub, and to wear a black 
 
 shirt, 
 I was puzzl'd to think what a plagne he 
 
 cou'd do ! 
 
 For while he did turn np ihe whites of his 
 
 eyes, 
 And for mercy upon us, did heartily pray: 
 Another below, (lia( was set in a chest. 
 Kept a morliinor of every word he did say; 
 And when be had fairly tlr'd'n out, 
 lo the very last word — to do nothing by 
 
 halves, 
 I verily thought I was gwain for to figlil'n, 
 For he stood \ip and call'd for a couple of 
 
 staves ! 
 
 But (he little man, (ho'f he'd a black shirt on 
 Whip'd ovor'n another as white as a clout; 
 And then in a t wink, with a twist of his fist, 
 He sat open the tub and tie let his self out ; 
 Upon which he took hold of a poor little 
 
 babe, 
 And astho'f he'd a got neither shame nor 
 
 grace. 
 He dipp'd his fingers into a trough. 
 And spiash'd the cold water all over bis face ! 
 
 Cock's passion ! thinks I, — 'Tis a shameful 
 
 th = ng. 
 To serve a poor babe such a woundy trick. 
 For thof he did sqneak like a pig when he's 
 
 stuck, 
 They did mind 'n no more (ban a goosemnn- 
 
 chick; 
 Odsbobs ! and I thought if the m ggot shou'd 
 
 bile, 
 And they wanted to make but a child of a 
 
 man. 
 Who could tell but in turn, zuch a baby as T, 
 .May be zouz'd in the trough likea zop in the 
 
 pan. 
 
 Zo I (ook to my heels and I scamper'd away. 
 
 Mke a lu^ly ft How, fur sure and 'ure; 
 
 Vad I swure, in my gut-^, if they ever 
 
 catih'd I, 
 O' the in -a-door zide of a cbnrr h any inore, 
 ! hey shoud plump me up toth, eirs of ihe 
 
 hng trough, 
 Just like a (oast in a tankard then ; 
 And zouse me and zop me and zup me and 
 
 zoii.>^ne, 
 V hundred tiKs over and over again. 
 
 Bad is the best. 
 
 " MY wife's so very bad," cried Will, 
 
 " I fear she ue'er will hold it, — 
 "She keeps her bed!"-^< .Mine's worsf 
 said Phil, 
 ' The jade has just how sold it '.' 
 G 2
 
 44 
 
 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, PVonderful Events, 
 
 Curious Story of a Fisherman. 
 
 THE Marquis Hella Scala, an Ita- 
 lian, once invited the gentry of his 
 neighbourhood to a grand entertain- 
 ment, and all the delicacies of the 
 season were accordina]y provided. 
 
 Some of the company had already 
 arrived, in Oider to pay their very 
 early respects to his excellency, when 
 the major do>)'0, all in a hurry, came 
 into the .<inin];i;-rooni. — " My Lord, 
 (said he) here is a most wonderful 
 fisherman below, wlio has brouyhf 
 one of the (inesf tish { believe in I tidy ; 
 but then he demands such a price 
 for it!" "Regard not his price" cried 
 the Marquis, " pay it down imme- 
 diately " " So I would, please your 
 Highiicss, but he refuses to take 
 luonty." " Why, what would the 
 fellow have]" "A hundred strokes 
 of the strappado on his bare shouldtrs, 
 my lord ; he says he will not bate a 
 single blow." 
 
 Here they all ran down, to have a 
 view of this rarity of a fisherniiin. 
 " A fine l"ish ! a most exquisite fiise 
 fish!" cried the Marquis. " What is 
 your demand, my friend? you shall 
 be paid on the instant." " Not a 
 quatrini, my lord ; I will not take 
 money. If you would have my tish, 
 you must order me a hundred hishcs 
 of the strappado upon my naked 
 back; if not, 1 shall go and apply 
 elsewhere." 
 
 " Rather than lose our fish," said 
 Iiis Highness, " let the fellow have iii:; 
 liumoiir. Here," lie cried to one of 
 bis grooms, " discharge this honest 
 man's demand ; but do not lay on too 
 hard; do not hurt the poor devil 
 very niiich." 
 
 The fishmonger then stripped, and 
 the groom prepared to put I: is lord's 
 orders in execution. " Now my friend" 
 cried the fishmonger, " keep good ac- 
 count, I beseech you; for I am not 
 covetous of a single stroke beyund 
 iny due." They all stood suspended 
 
 i>i ^ii:iaze, while this o))eralion was 
 Cfirrying on. At length, on the in- 
 stant the executioner had given the 
 fiftieth lash, " II..ld !" cried the fish- 
 erman, " I have already received my 
 full share of the price," " Your 
 ?hare !" questioned the Marquis, 
 " wh.it can you mean by that?" 
 
 "Why, my Lord, you must know 
 I have a partner in this business. My 
 honour is engaged to let biin have 
 i'alf (.f whatever 1 should get ; and 
 I fancy your Hiiilmess will acknow- 
 hdge, by tiud by, that it would be a 
 thousand pities to defraud hiin of a 
 single stroke." " And pray, my friend, 
 who is this same partner of your's I" 
 " It is the Por'er, my Lord, who 
 guards the ou'.-uate of your Highness' 
 jMlace, He refused to admit me, but 
 on the condition of promisirig him 
 half of what 1 should get for njy fish." 
 
 "Oho!" exclaimed the Manjuis, 
 breaking out into a laugh, " b\ the 
 blessing of heaven, he shall have his 
 dt numd doubled to him in lull tale." 
 
 Mire the Porter was sent for, and 
 stripped to the skin, when two grooms 
 l:iid on him with might and main, till 
 I hey rendered biui fit to be sainted 
 lor a second l?artholomtw. 
 
 The Marquis then ordered his 
 major donio to pay the fisherman 
 twenty sequins ; and desired him to 
 call yearly for the like sum, U) recoiu- 
 pence of the friendly otiice be had 
 lendered bun. 
 
 Oh a Welshman. 
 
 A MAX of Wales, betwixt St. Pavid's-day 
 
 and taller, 
 Ran in his hostess' score, for cheese great 
 
 ; tore, a tester: 
 His hosttss chalks it up behind the door; 
 .iiid says, for ciiecbe, come, sir, discharge 
 
 this ijfore : 
 Cot zoiinds, quolh he, what mcanelh these ? 
 D J e thiuk, Lur Icnow not chalk from checsel 
 
 The Decisive Test, 
 
 V>'HEN Dcaih puts out our /«»;!<', the sniilT 
 
 will tell 
 If we were wrx or (allow, by the jmcll.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams^ Poelrij, S,c. 45 
 
 Some Particulars relative to an unfor- 
 tunate Duel at Bath. 
 
 THE difterciice between the de- 
 ceased Count du Barro and Count 
 Rice, is said by some to bave arisen 
 froui an ill-founded jealousy the for 
 mer entertained of the latter rel;jlive 
 to a foreign lady ,• but others say it 
 arose from a n)i?understandin^ at play. 
 Whatever might h;ive been tiie cause, 
 Count Rice, it seems, took the utmost 
 pains to convince the deceased, that 
 his notions of him were ill-f(nind<'.'. 
 and fur this purpose lie was with hint 
 five liours the day before, «t Du 
 Barre's house, but not bein<,' able to 
 satisfy him there, thry adjourned toqe- 
 tlier i^> tiie Three Tuns, where the> 
 spent the evening, in the course of 
 which the deceased grew more ini- 
 placabe, and at lenL;th so resentful 
 as to strike Count Riee a violent blow 
 in the fiiee, saying, "now lie had put 
 it out of his power not to meet him," 
 and then proposed their inniiediatelv 
 going out, and taking every advantage 
 of each other tl:at might arise in the 
 course of their fighting. Count Rice 
 with great temper replied, " tliut 
 though their fighting wa> now unavoid- 
 able, as the outrage oflered to his per- 
 son was the most atrocious, vet he 
 should wisii to settle the affair as be- 
 came a gentleman, and agreeable to 
 the modes of fighting in tliis countrv; 
 adding, if they were in France, he 
 should be anxious to conform to the 
 rules of honour established in that 
 country, A coach was now ordered, 
 and the parties, with their seconds, 
 Sec. reached Claverton-Down, about 
 four o'clock in the morning, when Du 
 Earre proposed their instantly engag- 
 ing; to which tiie other objected, not 
 on his own account, but in considera- 
 tion of the gentlemin who attended 
 them, lest the world should condemn 
 thcnj for suflferiiig them to fight in tl.e 
 dark. Accordingly they agreed to 
 part till it was day-light, and each 
 
 walked about tlie Down for near three 
 liours with his friend. As soon as dav 
 broke, ('ount Du Barro called out for 
 Count Rice to meet him, which was 
 instantly complied with, by the latter 
 advancing within about ten paces; 
 immediately on w hich Count Du Barre 
 tired and wounded his antagonist in 
 the upper part of the thigh, who 
 immediately fell on his knee, after 
 firing his first pistol without effect; but 
 both levelling, and firing their second 
 .>»hot at tiie same time, the Count Du 
 Barre received a ball under his right 
 breast, which passed through his left, 
 and ocea^ioned onI> u single convulsive 
 sp'ing before he expired. The body 
 of the unfortunate gentleman was 
 sulRied to lay the whole day on the 
 ground a public spectacle to thousands 
 of |»eop!e, who flocked round it to 
 gratify (heir curiosity Count Rice's 
 life is ytt despaired of by the faculty 
 who attend him, but his conduct, 
 through the whole of the fatal trans- 
 action, is universally spoken of in 
 terras that do him honour. 
 
 The Robber robb'd. 
 
 A CERTAIN priest had boarded np 
 
 A mass of secret gold ; 
 And where he might hestow it gafe. 
 
 He knew uot to be hold. 
 
 At last it came into his thought 
 
 To locii it in a ches-t, 
 Within the chancel; and he wrote 
 
 Thereon, liic Deus est. 
 
 A merry grig, whose greedy mind 
 Did long for such a prey, 
 
 Respecting not the socred words 
 That on the casltei lay. 
 
 Took out the gold ; and blotting out 
 The priest's iuscript thereon. 
 
 Wrote, liesurrea'it, ncn est liic; 
 Your god is rose, and gone. 
 
 On the Deatli of an Epicure, 
 
 AT length, ray friends, the feast of life 
 
 is o>r : 
 I've eat sufficient, I can drink no more: 
 My night is come; I've spent a jovial day; 
 lis time to par ( 5 but oh ! what is to pay?
 
 is Liter ar.1/ Curiosities, EpitapJts, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 ONE day in July, 1779, J>'-S Ma- 
 jesty, riding from Windsor, was over- 
 taken by a voilent storn) of rain, and 
 being separated from his company, 
 be made towards a farm-house, or 
 rather cottage, belonging to a man 
 n^med Stiles, near Stoke. Here he 
 alighted, and going into -the house, 
 fomid a girl turning a goose v\ hich was 
 banging before the fire by a string. 
 The king desired the girl to put his 
 horse into the shed, which she con- 
 sented to, at the same time requcstiny 
 him to mind the goose. While she 
 vas gone the farmer entered, and 
 great was his surprise to see the kiiiir, 
 whom he knew, so employed. He, 
 however, had presence of mind to 
 relieve his majesty without appearing 
 embarrassed, and on the return of his 
 daughter he went to rub down the 
 horse. His majesty, with his wonted 
 good nature, conversed on this mode 
 of cookery, and the advantages of a 
 jack ; soon after which the weather 
 clearing up, he mounted and rode 
 away. When lie was gone the farmer 
 perceived a paper oir the shelf, and 
 having opened it, found in it five gui- 
 neas, with these words written in pen- 
 cil, "To bay a jack." 
 
 Buonaparte. 
 
 IT has been calculated that Buona- 
 parte, in ten years of war, has caused 
 the death of as many men as he has 
 lived minutes, in the same space of 
 time. There were in the ten years, 
 five millions two liundred and fifty-six 
 thousand minutes. 
 
 From a French Paper. 
 
 On John Mills. 
 
 HERE lies John Milh, who over hills 
 Pur.su'd the hounds with hollow; 
 'I he leap tbo' high, from earth to skie?, 
 ''tt.he huntitman we must follow. 
 
 By Dean Swi/t. 
 
 HERE lies a round woman, who thought 
 mighty odd 
 
 Ev'ry word that she beard in this church 
 ahout (iod. 
 
 To convince her of God th^ good Dean did 
 endeavour. 
 
 But still in her heart she held nature more 
 clever, 
 
 Tho* he talk'd much of virtue, her bead al- 
 ways run 
 
 Upon honiething or other she found better 
 fun. 
 
 For the dame, by her skill in aiTairs astro- 
 nomical. 
 
 Imagiu'd to live in the clouds, was but 
 coniicnl. 
 
 In this world she despis'd ev'ry soul *^he 
 met here, 
 
 And DOW she's in t'other she thinks it but 
 queer. 
 
 Some rejoice at what others deplore. 
 
 ARRAH now, (says poor league) dou't be 
 making your mocks, 
 
 (When a Newsmonger oient ion 'd the fall of 
 the stocks, 
 
 But, my Jew'l, set in case that they're fall- 
 en indeed, 
 
 And a man may believe it as sure as his creed, 
 
 I've some cause to rejoice at their fall, by 
 the pow'rs, 
 
 For it was bnt last week — I was in theta 
 six hours. 
 
 The Candid Confession. 
 
 A HUM' ROUS fellow in a tavern late. 
 Being drunk and valiant, gets a broken pate; 
 The surgeon, with bis instruments and skill 
 Searches bis skull, deejjer, and deeper still, 
 To feel bis brains, and try if they were 
 
 sound ; 
 And, as he keeps ado about the wound. 
 The fellow cries. Good surgeon, spare your 
 
 pains, 
 fVhen 1 began this brawl I had no brains. 
 
 The Lawyer and Client. 
 
 TWO Lawyers, when a knotty case was o'er 
 Shook hands, and was as good friends as 
 
 before, 
 "Say,'' the losing client cries, how came 
 
 you 
 "To be such friends, who were such foes 
 
 just nowV 
 'Thou fool!' one answers, 'Lawyers, tho* 
 
 .'o keen, 
 ' Like shears, n<!'er cut themselves, bnt 
 
 what's between.'
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poeirj/, S^c. 4.7 
 
 Memoirs of George Barringlon, the 
 notorious Pick-Pocket. 
 
 GEORGK R\R(UNGTON. whose 
 real name was VValdroii, was born 
 about the year i755, at Maymooth, 
 a vilhii:e in the coiiiilv of Kihtaie, 
 Ireland: his father, Henry Wahlron, 
 was a workinij silv( rsniitli ; and his 
 motlier, whose maiden name was 
 Naitli, was a niantiiH-n)aker, and oc- 
 ca>ioirally a midwife. His parents, 
 ihon^'h not affluent, had him instruct- 
 ed in reading and writinir, at an early 
 ajje ; afterwards, through the bounty 
 of a medical gentlemati in the neigh- 
 bourhood, he was taught common 
 arithmetic, the elements of geography 
 and the Knglish gramn)ar. When 
 six1e«ii years of age, he was noticed 
 and patronised by a dii^nilary in the 
 churcli of Ireland, who placed hin» 
 at a free grannuar-school, and in- 
 tended hiu) for the univer-itv; how- 
 ever, lie forfeited this gentleman's fa- 
 vour by his ill conduct at school, 
 having, in a quarrel, stabbed one of 
 his school-fellows with a penknife. 
 For this vindictive act he was well 
 flogged; in consequence of which he 
 ran away from school, 1771, having 
 previously found means to steal ten 
 or twelve guineas from his master, 
 and a gold repeating watch from his 
 his master's sister. He walked all 
 night till he arrived at an obscure inn 
 at Drogheda, where he happen^ d to 
 meet and become acquainted with a 
 company of strolling players, whose 
 manager was one John Price, an 
 abandoned character; who, having 
 been convicted of u fraud in London, 
 was an involuntary exile in Ireland, 
 until the expiration of the term for 
 ivhich he was sent'?nced to be trans- 
 ported. He now engaged our fugi- 
 tive, who, in Consequence, adopted 
 the name of Barrington, as one of 
 his performers, atid »\lio, it seems, 
 became the hero of the company. 
 While performing the cliaracter of 
 
 JafTier, in " Venice Preserved," he 
 m-ride a conquest of tiie tender Iklvi- 
 dera, (.Miss Kgerton)and to the credit 
 of Ikirrington it nnjst be acknowledged 
 that he took no mean advanla';e of 
 her passion, but returned it with per- 
 fect sincerity. The company being 
 now reduced by the expenses of tra- 
 velling, 6:c. to extreme indigence. 
 Price, tlie manager, prevailed upon 
 liarrington to undertake the piofessioii 
 of a pickpocket, «hich businiss he 
 commenced in the stiinmer of the 
 year 1771, having then renounced the 
 stage. He soon after lost his faithful 
 Miss F^erton, who was drowned in 
 the eighteenth year of her age, in 
 crossing liie river J3oyne, through the 
 culpable neuligence of a ferryman. 
 He then commenced what is called a 
 >^ent!tman pickpocket, by affecting 
 the airs and inqjortance of a man of 
 fashion ; but was so much alarmed at 
 the detection and conviction of his 
 preceptor l*rice (who was sentenced 
 to transportation for seven years) that 
 he hastened to Dublin, where he 
 practised his pilfering art during dark 
 evenings. At one of the races in the 
 county of Carlow, he was delected 
 picking the pocket of Lord B. but 
 on restoring the property, tliis noble- 
 man declined any prosecution, and 
 Harrington accordingly left Ireland; 
 and for the first time appeared in 
 England in 1773. On his first visit 
 to Ranelagh with a party, he h f t his 
 friends and picked the pockets of the 
 Duke of L. and Sir W. of a consider- 
 able sum ; and also took from a hitiy 
 a watch, with all which he got off 
 undiscovered, and rejoined his friends. 
 In 177-5, he visited ihe most cele- 
 brated watering places, particularly 
 P>righlou, and being supposed a gen- 
 tleman of fortune and family, was 
 noticed by persons of the first <li - 
 tinction. On his return to Loadon, 
 he formed a connection witli oi^c 
 Lowe, and became a more dating 
 pickpocket. He went to court on lh«
 
 Liilerary Curiosiiies.. Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events^ 
 
 queen's birth-day, as a clergyman, 
 and not only picked several pockets, 
 but found means to deprive a noble- 
 man of his diamond order, and 
 retired from the palace wishoul sus- 
 picion. It is said that this booty was 
 disposed of to a Dutch jew. Count 
 Orlow, the Russian minister, being 
 in one of the boxes of Drury-lane 
 theatre, was robbed of a £;old snufl- 
 box set with diamonds, estimated to 
 be worth an immense sum ; and one 
 of the count's attendants suspecting 
 Barrington, seized him, and found 
 the suulf-box in his possession. lie 
 was examined by Sir John Fielding; 
 but the count, being in a foreign 
 country, was influenced by motives of 
 delicacy to decline a prosecution. 
 Being soon after in the House of 
 Lords, when an appeal of an interest- 
 ing nature was to come on, a Mr. G. 
 recognized his person, and applying 
 to the deputy usher of the black rod, 
 he was dis^i;racefully turned out. He 
 now threatened Mr. G. witii revenge, 
 upon which a warrant was granted to 
 bind him over to keep the peace; and 
 as he could fmd no surety, he was 
 obliged to go to Tothill-fields bride- 
 well, vvliere he remained some time. 
 On being released, he returned to his 
 old piofession, and was, about three 
 months afterwards, delected in pick- 
 ing the pocket of a low woman at 
 Drury-lane theatre, for which, being 
 indicted and convicted at the Old 
 Bailey, he was sentenced to three 
 years' liard labour on the Thames, 
 and in the spring of 1777, was put 
 on board the hulks, Woolwich; but 
 after sustaii:ing something less than a 
 twelvemonth's punishment, he was 
 again set at liberty, in consequence of 
 his good bt'haviour, through the inter- 
 ference of INIessrs. Erskine and Dun- 
 can Campbtll, the'superintendants of 
 the convicts. A few da>s after his 
 release, he went to St. Sepulchre's 
 church, when Dr. Mylnc wns to 
 preach a ^ern^on for the benefit of 
 
 the society for the recovery of persons 
 apj)arently drowned. William Payne, 
 a constable, saw him put his hand 
 into a lady's pocket in the south aisle, 
 and presently after followed him out 
 of the church, and took him into 
 custody near the end of Cock-lane, 
 upon bnow-hill. Having taken the 
 prisoner to St. Sepulchre's watch- 
 house, and found a gold watch, and 
 some other articles, in his possession, 
 Payne returned to the church, and 
 spoke to the lady whom he had seen 
 the prisoner attempt to rob; she in- 
 formed him that she had lost nothing, 
 for, expecting the church to be much 
 crowded, she had taken the precau- 
 tion of emptying her pockets before 
 she left her house. Upon Payne's 
 return to the watch-house, a gentle- 
 man advised that the prisoner might 
 be more strictly searched. He was 
 desired to take oft' his hat, and rais- 
 ing his left arm, he cautiously removed 
 his hat from his head, when a metal 
 watch dropped upon the tloor. He 
 was now obliged to pull oft' the great- 
 est part of liis clothes. He wore 
 three pair of breeches; in one of the 
 pocketN of which were found a purse, 
 containing thirteen guineas, and a 
 bank-note for ten pounds made pay- 
 able to himself. In consequence of 
 an advertisement inserted the next 
 day in the newspapers, Mrs. Iron- 
 monger came to Payne's house, and 
 described the watch she had lost ; and 
 it proved to be that which had been 
 concealed in Barrington's hair, and 
 dropped on the floor when he took oft' 
 his hat. She attended the examina- 
 tion of the prisoner, and having sworn 
 that the watch profluced by Payne was 
 her property, was bound over to pro- 
 secute. Upon his trial, Barrington 
 made a long, an artful, and a plau- 
 sible defence. He said that, upon 
 leaving the church, he perceived the 
 Avatch menliuned in the indictment 
 lying upon the ground, and took it 
 up, intending to advertise ittheucxt-
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetri/, SfC. 49 
 
 day; that he was followed to Snow- 
 hiU by Payne and another constable, 
 who apprehended him, and had, in 
 all probabililty, seen him take up the 
 watcb. " I reflected (said he) that 
 how innocently soever I niii;ht have 
 obtained the article in question, yet 
 it might cause some censure ; and no 
 man woald wonder, considering the 
 unhappy predicament I stood in, 
 (alluding to his former conviction) 
 that I should conceal it as much as 
 possible." The jury havinir pronnunc- 
 ed the prisoner cuilty, he addressed 
 the court, earnestly supplicatiiii; that 
 he mifiht be permitted to enter into 
 ]iis Majesty's service, and promising 
 to discharge his trust with fidelity and 
 attention ; or, if he could not be in- 
 dulged in that request, he wished that 
 liis sentence might be banishment for 
 life from his Majesty's dominions. 
 The court informed him, that, by an 
 application to the throne, he might 
 obtain a mitigation of his sentence, if 
 his case was attended with such cir- 
 cumstances of extenuation, as would 
 justify him in humbly petitioning to 
 be considered as an object of the 
 royal favor. He requested that the 
 money and the bank-note migiit be 
 returned. Hereupon the c«urt ob- 
 served, that, in consequence of his 
 conviction, the property found on 
 him when he was apprehended, be- 
 came vested in the hands of the 
 sheriffs of the city of London, who 
 had discretionary power either to 
 comply with, or reject, his request. 
 He was again sentenced to labour on 
 the Thames, for the space of five 
 years, on Tuesday the 5th of April, 
 177s. About the middle of this 
 year, he was accordingly removed to 
 the hulks at Woolwich, where having 
 attracted the notice of a gentleman, 
 w ho exerted his influence in his favor, 
 lie again procured his release, on 
 condition of his leaving England: to 
 this Harrington gladly consented, and 
 was generously supplied with mouey 
 
 by this gentleman. He now went to 
 Dublin, where he was shortly appre- 
 hended, for picking the pocket of an 
 Irish nobleman of his gold watch and 
 money, at tlie theatre, but was ac- 
 quitted for want of evidence. Here, 
 however, was his first display of elo- 
 cution ; for, having received a serious 
 admonition from the judge, he ad- 
 dressed the court with considerable 
 animation, and enlarged, with great 
 ingenuity, upon what he termed the 
 lorce of prejudice, insinuating, that 
 calumny had tollowcd him from Hng- 
 land to Ireland, On his acquittal, 
 lunvever, he deiMned i^ most prudf'tit 
 to leave Dublin: he therefore visited 
 Edinburgh, wliere being suspected, 
 he was obliged to decamp. He now 
 returned to London, and braving 
 danger, fre(]uented the theatres, opera 
 house, pantheon, Ac. but was at 
 length taken into custody. Having 
 been acquitted for want of evidence 
 of the charge brought against him, 
 he was unexpectedly detained for hav- 
 ing returned to England, in violation 
 of the condition on which liis Majesty 
 was pleased to grant him a remission 
 of his punishment, and was accord- 
 ingly confined in Newgate during the 
 remainder of the time, that he was 
 originally to have served on the river 
 Thames. On the expiration of his 
 capivtity, he returned to his former 
 practices, but with greater caution. 
 He was at length apprehended for 
 picking the pocket of Mr. Le Mesurier 
 at Drury-lane theatre, but effected 
 his escape from the constable; and 
 while the lawyers were outlawing him, 
 and the constables endeavouring to 
 take him, he evaded detection by tra- 
 velling in various disguises and cha- 
 racters, through the northern couHties 
 of the kingdom ; he visited the great 
 towns as a quack doctor, clergyman, 
 rider, &c, but was at last apprehended 
 in Newciistle-upou-Tyne, and removed 
 to London by a writ of Habeas Cor- 
 pus. He now employed cguDsel, and 
 u
 
 50 Literart/ Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 had the outlawry agahist him reversed; 
 was then tried for stealing Mr. Le 
 Mesurier's purse, and acquitted, in 
 consequence of the absence of a 
 material witness. Being once more 
 enlarged, he had the presumption to 
 visit Dublin again, where having been 
 goon suspected, he with difficulty 
 escaped to England ; but shortly after 
 his arrival, was taken into custody 
 for picking the pocket of Henry Hare 
 Townsend, Esq. For this he was 
 tried at the Old Bailey, Sept. 1, 1798, 
 and found guilty, notwithstanding he 
 made an ingenious defence. On Wed- 
 nesday, Sept. 22, the Recorder pro- 
 nounced the sentence of transporta- 
 tion on him for seven years, when 
 Barrington addressed the court, in 
 words to the following eftect : 
 
 " My Lord, — I have a great deal 
 to say in extenuation of the cause, 
 for which I now stand convicted at 
 this bar; but upon consideration, I 
 will not arrest the attention of the 
 lionouiable court too long. Among 
 the extraordinary vicissitudes incident 
 to human nature, it is the peculiar 
 and unfortunate lot of some devoted 
 persons, to have their best wishes and 
 their most earnest endeavours, to de- 
 serve the good opinion of the most 
 respectable part of society, entirely 
 frustrated. Whatever they can say, 
 or whatever they may do, every word 
 and its meaning, every action and its 
 motive, is represented in an unfavour- 
 able hght, and is distorted from the 
 real intention of the speaker or the 
 actor. That this has been my un- 
 happy fate, does not seem to stand 
 in need of any confirmation. Every 
 effort to deserve well of mankind, 
 that my heart bore witness to its recti- 
 tude, has been by such measures as 
 those, and consequently has been ren- 
 dered abortive. Many of the cir- 
 cumstances of my life I can, without 
 any violation of truth, declare to have 
 therefore happened in spite of myself. 
 The world, uiy lord, has given me 
 
 credit for abilities, indeed, much 
 greater than I possess, and therefore, 
 much more than I deserved ; but I 
 never found any kind hand to foster 
 these abilities. I might ask, where 
 was the generous and povv-erful hand 
 that was ever stretched forth, to 
 rescue George Barrington from in- 
 famy] In an age like this, which, in 
 several respects, is so justly famed 
 for liberal sentiments, it was my se- 
 vere lot, that no noble-minded gentle- 
 man stepped forward, arid said to me, 
 ' Barrington, you are possessed of 
 talentSjW hich may be useful to society: 
 I feel for your situation; and as long 
 as you act the part of a good citizen, 
 I will be your protector: you will 
 then have time and opportunity to 
 rescue yourself from the obloquy of 
 your former conduct.' Alas! my lord, 
 George Barrington had never the su- 
 preme felicity of having such comfort 
 administered to his wounded spirit. 
 As matters have unfortunately turned 
 out, the die is cast — and as it is, I 
 bend resigned to my fate, without 
 one murmur or complaint." Having 
 thus concluded his neat address, ren- 
 dered more forcible by his pathetic 
 manner, he left the bar with a res- 
 pectful bow, and thus withdrew from 
 public life in Europe, to act a new 
 part in the new world. On his 
 arrival at Port Jackson, he was intro- 
 duced to the governor, and appointed 
 superintendant of the convicts resi- 
 dent at Paramatta. His conduct, 
 during his exile, has been such, as to 
 compensate for all the past. 
 
 Imitated from the Greek. 
 
 A MISER traversing tiis house, 
 
 Espy'd, unusual there, a Mouse, 
 
 And thus his uninvited guest 
 
 Inquisitively he address'd: 
 
 " Tell me. Sir Mouse, to what canse is it, 
 
 " I owe this unexpected visit?" 
 
 The Mouse her host obliquely ey'd, 
 
 And, smiling, pleasantly reply'd, 
 
 ' Fear not, Old Square Toes, for your hoard, 
 
 ' 1 came to lodge— aud not lo board ."
 
 Interesting Narratites, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, &:c. 51 
 
 A Blind Man famous for Discover- 
 ing hidden Treasure. 
 
 A BLIND man had obtained 
 great reputation for discovering hid- 
 den treasures, whether concealed in 
 the ground or under water, and had 
 the power of diving and continuing 
 under water a long time in his searches. 
 He always stipulated for a third 
 of the vaUie restored, and by these 
 means supported himself, an aged 
 father, a wife, and several children. 
 This man died, and his father came 
 before the court with complaints that 
 several persons for whom his son had 
 found money, refused to pay the 
 rewards for which they had agreed. 
 A goldsmith was summoned upon this 
 complaint. He liad reprimanded his 
 wife for misconduct, and she, in a fit 
 of despitefulness, took all her own 
 jewels and ornaments, and as much of 
 his money and valuables as she could 
 collect, and threw herself into a well. 
 The goldsmith, who thought himself 
 happily released from a bad wife, was 
 not quite so easy at the loss of his 
 property ; he therefore made diligent 
 search for the body, and it was found, 
 but none of the property with it. A 
 confidential friend -of the deceased 
 now informed him that the woman 
 had tied np all these valuables in a 
 bag, and thrown thera into another 
 well, for the avowed purpose of 
 depriving her husband of his proper- 
 ty, and preventing him from procur- 
 ing another wife, which he would find 
 it difficult to do without the jewels ; 
 but where this well was the informer 
 did not know. The blind man was 
 sent for; he found the bag after a 
 loiig search, and i he goldsmith then 
 refused the stipulated remuneration, 
 upon the plea that a third part was too 
 much. The court compelled him to 
 pay it. 
 
 On a Drunken Husband. 
 1 CARE not what flowers rise over the elf, 
 Provided the drunkard will aot riseliiaiielf. 
 
 Art of Swimming. 
 
 MEN are drowned by raising their 
 arms above water, the unbuoyed 
 weight of which depresses the head. 
 Other animals have neither notion nor 
 ability to act in n similar manner, and 
 therefore, swim naturally. When a 
 man falls into deep water, he will rise 
 to the surface, and will continue there 
 if he does not elevate his hands. If 
 he move his hands under water in any 
 manner he pleases, his head will rise 
 so high as to allow him free liberty to 
 breathe ; and if he move his legs as 
 in the act of walking, (or rather of 
 walking up stairs) his shoulders will 
 rise above the water, so that he may 
 use less exertion with his hands, or 
 apply them to other purposes. These 
 plain directions are recommended to 
 the recollection of those who have not 
 learned to swim in their youth, as they 
 may be found highly advantageous in 
 preserving life. 
 
 Made-up Beauty. 
 
 FALSE rumps, false teeth, false hair, false 
 
 faces, 
 Alas ! poor man! how hard thy case is; 
 Instead of woman, heavenly woman's 
 
 charms, 
 To clasp cork — gum — wool — varnish — in 
 
 thy arms. 
 
 The general Result of the last Twenty 
 Years' War, dated 1815. 
 
 France intrigues witii All 
 
 England protects All 
 
 Russia balances '• All 
 
 Austria grasps at •••• All 
 
 Prussia recovers All 
 
 Denmark loses ....« •••• All 
 
 Sweden dupes • All 
 
 Holland receives All 
 
 Spain is despised by All 
 
 The Pope is afraid of All 
 
 America recants »••• All 
 
 Turkey stares at All 
 
 But if God had not pity on • • • • All 
 
 The Devil had carried olF • • • • A}( 
 U2
 
 52 lAlerary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, TVotiderfid Exents, 
 
 Tlie Biter Bit, or the Farmer's Blunder. 
 
 A FARMER once lo Londoo went, 
 To pay the worthy 'squire his rent ; 
 {[e comes, he knocks, soon entrance gains, 
 Who, at the door such guests detains? 
 Forth struts the 'squire, exeeding smart — 
 
 * Farmer, you're welcome to my heart ; 
 
 ' You've brought my rent then — to an hair? 
 
 * The best of tenants I declare.' 
 
 The steward was call'd, the account made 
 
 even, 
 The money paid, the receipt was given, 
 *Well,' says the 'squire 'now you shall stay, 
 
 < And dine with me, old friend, to-day ; 
 
 < I've here some ladie*. woud'rous pretty, 
 *And pleasant sparks, I warrant will fit ye,' 
 
 He scratcb'd bis ears and held his hat, 
 And said — ' Nozur, two words to that ; 
 
 * For look d'ye see, when I'ze do dine 
 
 * With gentlefolks so cruel fine, 
 
 ' I'ze use to make, and 'tis no wonder, 
 
 * In word or deed some plaguy blunder ; 
 
 * Zo, 'f your honor will permit, 
 
 * I'll With your zervants pick a bit.' 
 
 ' PhOj'says the 'squire,' itshant be done', 
 And to the parlour pushed him on : 
 To all around he nods and scrapei. 
 Not waiting maid nor butler "scapes. 
 With often bidding — takes his seat. 
 But at a distance mighty great; 
 Though often ask'd to draw his chair, 
 Me nods, nor comes an inch more near; 
 By madam serv'd with body bended. 
 With knife and fork, and arms extended ; 
 Hereach'das far as he was able. 
 To his plate that overhung the table: 
 With little morsels cheats his chops, 
 And in the passage some he drops. 
 To shew where most his heart inclin'J, 
 He talk'd and drank to John behind. 
 When drank to in a modish way, 
 
 * Your love's sufficient zur !' he'd say ; 
 And to be thought a man of manners, 
 Still rose to make his aukward honors. 
 
 * Pish' ! says the 'squire * pray keep your 
 
 sitting,' 
 
 < No, No,' he cries, 'zur, 'tis not fitting; 
 ' Tho' I'm no scholar vars'd in letters, 
 
 < I kuaws my duty to my betters.' 
 
 Much mirth the farmer's ways alTord, 
 
 And hearty laughs went round the board. 
 
 Thus the first course was ended well; 
 
 But at the next— ah! what befel ? 
 
 The dishes were now timely placed. 
 
 And table with fresh luxury graced ; 
 
 When drank to by a neighbouring charmer 
 
 Up as usual stands the farmer. 
 
 A wag to carry on the joke, 
 
 Tlius, to his servant softly spoke^ 
 
 ' Come hither Dick, step gently there, 
 
 * And pull away the farmer's chair,' 
 
 * Tis done, hi> congee made, the clown 
 Draws back and stoops to set him down ; 
 
 But by his posteriors over-weighed, 
 
 And of his trnsty seat betray'd 
 
 As men at twigs in rivers sprawling, 
 
 He caught the cloth to saye his falling ! 
 
 Tn vain, sad fortune, down he wallowed. 
 
 And raiding all the dishes followed; — 
 
 The fops they lost there little wits, 
 
 The ladies squall'd — some fell in fits; 
 
 Here tumbled turkeys, tarts, and widgeons. 
 
 And there mince pies, and geese, and pigeons, 
 
 A pear-pie on his belly drops, 
 
 A custard-pudding met his chops : — 
 
 Lord what ado 'twixt belles and beans, 
 Some curse, some cry, and rub their clotbesj 
 This lady raves and that looks down, 
 And weeps and wails her spattered gown, 
 One spark bemoans bis spattered waiscoat. 
 One, ' Rot him, be has spoil'd my lac'd 
 
 coat.' 
 Amidst the rout, the farmer long 
 The pudding suck'd, and held bis tongue ; 
 At length he gets him on bis breech, 
 Aud scrambles up to make his speech: 
 First rubs his eyes, mouth aai nostrili 
 
 tvTangs, 
 Then snaps his fingers and harangues — 
 ' Plague take it, I'ze tell you bow 'twould 
 
 be, 
 ' Look here's a pirkle zurs, d'ye see? 
 ' And some I'll warrant that makes this 
 
 chatter 
 * Have clothes bedaub'd with grease or 
 
 batter, 
 ' That cost' — He had gone on, bat here 
 Was stopt at once in lii» career. 
 ' Peace ! brute, begone 1' the ladies cry ; 
 The beans exclaim ' Fly ! rascal, fly !' 
 I'll tear his eyes out, squeaks lUiss Dolly; 
 I'll pink his soul out; roars a bully. 
 At this the farmer shrinks for fear, 
 And thinking 'twas ill tarrying here, 
 Shabs otr,and cries, 'Aye, kill me then, 
 ' Whene'er you catch me here again, ' 
 So home he jogs and leaves the 'sqnire. 
 To cool the sparks' and ladies' ire. 
 Thus ends my tale : and now I'll try 
 Like Prior, something to apply : 
 
 This may teach rulers of a nation, 
 Ne'er to place men above their station: 
 And this may shew the wanton wit. 
 That when he bites he may be bit. 
 
 St. John's, H'est minster. 
 
 HERE lyeth Humphrey Gosling, of Lon- 
 don, vintner. 
 
 Of the if'hyt Hart, of this parish, a neigh- 
 bour ; 
 
 Of vertuous behaviour ; a very good archer; 
 
 And of honest mirth, a good company 
 keeper. 
 
 So well inclyned to poor and rich, 
 
 God send more Gvslfnga to be «icl7»
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, 4'C. 5S 
 
 A Wonderful Prophcaj. 
 
 When green is red and red Is white, 
 
 When pigs and pci'iltry cnrse and swear; 
 Vfbea light is dark, and dark i$ light, 
 
 When peop!(> shut liieir eyt- to -tare ; 
 When herrini:'' grosv on apple trees, 
 
 VVhenHampsteai" \.\\\ oVt Fli^hgate bops, 
 When lawyers do ivfnse their f es, 
 
 '-Vhen niiiips otb^iefare iniitlon chops. 
 When Cre Is cold, and ire is hot, 
 
 When pewter plate." .u-e made of tin ; 
 When my old shiii s an iron pot, 
 
 The water boils and I janij) in. 
 When brewers' dra;, .s are barbers' shops. 
 
 When barbers 'biock^ talk I'reticii wilhea*? 
 When mops arebrooms, ail I brooms are mops 
 
 When sign posto turn aside to sneeze. 
 When oysters grow on orange trees, 
 
 When silver is to gold preferr'd, 
 When your old hat's a Cheshire chee«e. 
 
 And my grandmothers George the Third. 
 Then little Bony will come over, 
 
 And land a AIILLION men at Doveft 
 
 Tippling Tom the Tapster. 
 
 TO ease his heart of sorrow's load, 
 
 And lighten all his cares. 
 Poor Tom took oft the tippler's road, 
 
 Adewn the Cfellar stairs. 
 
 Where from the bntt's exhil'rant store, 
 His gloomy brow got brighten d ; 
 
 And ere nine months were past and o'er, 
 Both of their load were lighlen'd. 
 
 When lo! all on a snmroer'«day, 
 
 Just after thundery weather, 
 Tom and his master took their way 
 
 To examine stock together. 
 
 For mild and stale, the landlord fear'd, 
 
 Had had the wayward luck. 
 Amid the clatt'ring peals he'd heard, 
 
 To get all thunderstruck! 
 
 So Tom was sent in inner vault. 
 
 Where stood twofav'rile taps. 
 Which Fleecewell hop'd was free from fault, 
 
 And sav'd from all mishaps. 
 
 And while he broaeh'd each outer butt, 
 
 All fearful, sad and sober; 
 Lest clouds, in late combustion put, 
 
 Hadspoil'd bis best October: 
 
 Sly Tom rush'd ont, with looks aghast, 
 
 And, to the landlord's cost, 
 Rap'd out an oath, "Twixt peal aud blast 
 
 " Your fav'rite store is lost. 
 
 " For one," says Tom, " Event most dread 
 "Most awful, ana most fright'ning; 
 
 "One cask is struck, with thunder, dead, 
 "And ofled»y'd up with lightning." 
 
 Death of Kins; George (he Second, 
 
 GEORGE the Second died very 
 suddenly of a rupture of the aorta, at 
 Kensington palace, about seven o'clock 
 in the jiiomiug of October the '2.5th, 
 \7iSQ. He was a remarkably early 
 riser, aud on that tnorniu!,' lie as usual 
 lighted his own fire, drank his choco- 
 late, looked out of the w indow to see 
 how the wind was, and said that be 
 woidd lake a walk in the gardens. 
 His chocolate maker, however, wlio 
 was tlip la.^t person with his majesty, 
 I observed him si;:li as he left the room, 
 j aud shortly aitirwards heard a noise 
 hkc the falling of a billot of wood 
 from tlie tire, on which he returned 
 and found the king dropped from his 
 chair as if he had be n in the act of 
 attempting to ring the bell. Proper 
 assistance was immediately procured, 
 and he was put to bed, Lut without 
 any appearance of life, and in a very 
 little w hile his death was certain. 
 
 On Foote's Death. 
 
 FOOTR from hi» earthly stage, alas! is 
 
 burl'd; 
 Death took him off, who took off all (he 
 
 world. 
 
 Electioneering Pun, 
 
 SOME years ago the candidates for 
 the representation of one of tlie 
 northern Boroughs, were Sir Ralph 
 Parr, aud a Mr, Wiliiatn Fratram, a 
 rich clothier. Neither of them were 
 much approved of, and any third can- 
 ditate might easily jjave tfirown thetn 
 both out ; but the following accident 
 excited an interest in favour of the 
 former, who, ultimately, carried the 
 election, One of the electors, a favo- 
 rite of the mob, hap])enino to ejacu- 
 late, with a sigh of indiflerence. Par 
 nobi/e Fratrum, the words were 
 caught and misconstructcd by the 
 cro\\i\— Parr,— no Billij Fratrum, 
 was instantly shouted by a thousand 
 voices, and scribbled ail ever the Bo- 
 rough.
 
 54 LiieroA'y Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Ezents, 
 
 Extraordinary Forewarning, as ii 
 really occurred in Lord Tyrone a 
 Family, in Ireland. 
 
 Lord Tyrone and Lady Beresford, 
 y^'Cie born in Ireland ; thty were both 
 left orphans in their infancy, to the 
 care ot" the same person, by whom 
 they were educated in the principles 
 of Deism, by their guardian. Wheij 
 they were each of them about fourteen 
 years of age they fell into very ditfer- 
 ent hands. The persons on whom 
 th€ car« of them now develved used 
 every possible endeavour to eradicate 
 the erroneous principles they had im- 
 bibed, and to persuade them to em- 
 brace the revealed religion, but in 
 Tain ; their arguments were insutiicient 
 to convince then), though they were 
 powerful enough to stagger their 
 former faith. Though now separated 
 from each other, their friendship con- 
 tinued unalterable, and tiiey continued 
 to regard eacii other with a sincere 
 and fraternal aflection. After some 
 years had elapsed, and they were each 
 of them grown up, they made a so- 
 lemn promise to each other, that who- 
 ever should first die, would, if per- 
 mitted, appear to the other, to declare 
 what religion was most approved of 
 by the Supreme Being. Lady Beres- 
 ford was shortly after addressed by 
 Sir Marcus Beresford, to whom, after 
 a few years she was married ; but no 
 change in condition had power to 
 alter her friendship; tlie families fre- 
 quently visited each other, often spent 
 n^ore than a fortnight together ; a 
 short time after one of these visits, 
 Sir Marcus Beiesford remarked, when 
 his Lady came down to breakfast in 
 the morning, that her countenance 
 ■was unusually pale, and bore evident 
 Hiarks of terror and contusion ; he in- 
 quired anxiously alter her health, she 
 assured him she was well, perfectly 
 well: lie n|)eated his enquiries, and 
 begged to know if any thing had dis- 
 ordered her; she replied no, she was 
 
 as well as usual. " Have you hurt 
 your wrist, have you sprained it ? " 
 said lie, observing a black ribband 
 bound round it. She replied no, she 
 had not ; but added " let me conjure 
 you Sir M. never to enquire the cause 
 of my wearing this ribband, you will 
 never more see me without it; if it 
 concerned vou as a husband to know 
 'f, I would not for a moment conceal 
 it from you, I never in my life denied 
 you a request, but of this I must en- 
 treat you to forgive my refusal, and 
 never to urge me further on the sub- 
 ject," " Very well my Lady," said he 
 smiling "since you so earnestly desire 
 me, I will enquire no further." 
 
 The conversation here ended ; but 
 breakfast was scarcely over when 
 Lady B, enquired if the post was 
 come in ? she was told it was not. In 
 a few n)inutes she again rang the bell 
 for her servant, and repeated the en- 
 quiry is not the post yet come ? she 
 was told it was not. " Do you expect 
 any letter ?" said Sir M. " that you are 
 so anxious concerning the coming of 
 the post." " I do," she answered, " I 
 expect to hear that Lord Tyrone is 
 dead, he died last Tuesday, at four 
 o'clock." " I never in my life," sairi 
 Sir M. " believed you superstitious, 
 but you nmst have had some idle 
 dream, which has thus alarmed you." 
 
 At that instant a servant opened 
 the door, and delivered to them a 
 letter sealed with black. " It is as I 
 expecled" exclaimed Lady B.; " he is 
 dead." Sir M. opened the letter ; it 
 came from Lord Tyrone's steward, 
 and contained the melancholy intelli- 
 gence that his master had died the 
 Tuesday preceding, at the very time 
 Lady B. had specified. Sir M. in- 
 treated her to compose her spirits, and 
 endeavour as much as lay in her power 
 not to make herself unhappy. She 
 assured him she felt much easier than 
 she hiul for some time past ; and 
 added, " I can communicate to you 
 intelligence which I know will prove
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, Ssc- 55 
 
 welcome, I can assure you, beyond 
 the possibility of a doubt, that I am 
 with child of a son." Sir M. received 
 tlie iulelligence with that pleasure 
 which might be expected, and expres- 
 sed in the strongest terms the felicitv 
 be should experience from such an 
 event which he had long so ardently 
 desired. 
 
 After a period of some months, 
 Lady B. was delivered of a son ; she 
 had be.-n the mother of two daughters 
 oulv. Sir Marcus survived the birtii 
 of Ills soil little more tiian four years. 
 After his decease, his laily went but 
 little from home : she visited no fa- 
 mily but that of a clergyman who re- 
 sided in the same village, with whom 
 she frtquently passed a few hours ; the 
 r«st of her time was entirely devoted | 
 to solitude, and she ap|)eared for ever i 
 determined to banish all other society. 
 Tiie clergyman's family consisted ol 
 himself, his wife, and one son, who 
 at Sir M.'s death was quite a youth; 
 to his son, however, she was after- 
 wards married, in the space of a few 
 years, notwithstanding the disparity 
 of his years, and the manifest im- 
 prudence of such a connection, so 
 unequal in every respect. 
 
 The event justified the expectation 
 of every one ; Lady B. was treated 
 by her young husband with neglect 
 and cruelty, and the whole of his 
 conduct evinced him the most aban- 
 doned libertine, utterly destitute of 
 every principle of virtue and human- 
 ity. To X\m, her second husband. 
 Lady B. brought two daughters; 
 afterwards, such was the profligacy 
 of his conduct, that she insisted upon 
 a separation. They parted fur several 
 years, when, so great was the contri- 
 tion he expressed for his former ill 
 conduct, that, won over by his sup- 
 plication and promises, she was in- 
 duced to pardon, and once more re- 
 side with him; and was, after some 
 time, made the mother of another 
 daughter. 
 
 The day on which she had lain in 
 a month, being the anniversary of her 
 
 birth-day. she sent for Lady , 
 
 of whose friendship siie had long been 
 possessed, and a few friends, to re- 
 quest tiiem to spend the day with her. 
 About noon, the clergyman by whom 
 she hafi been baptized, and with 
 whom she had all her Hie maintained 
 an ir>timacy, came into the room to 
 enquiie after her health ; she told him 
 she felt perfectly well, and nqiiested 
 him to s|,en(i the day with her, it 
 being her birtli-day. " For," said 
 she, " 1 am forty-eight this day."— 
 " No, my Lady," answered the cler- 
 gynian, " you are mistaken, your 
 mother and myself have had many 
 disputes concerning your age, and I 
 have at length discovtrtd I am right; 
 happening to go last week to the 
 parish you were born in, I was re- 
 solved to put an end to my doubt, by 
 searchinn the register, and find that 
 you are forty-seven this day." 
 
 " You have signed my death-war- 
 rant," said she, " I have not much 
 longer to live. I must, therefore, 
 entreat you to leave me immediately, 
 as I have something of importance to 
 settle before I die." 
 
 When the cleri:ynian had left Lady 
 B. she sent to forbid her company 
 coming ; and at the same time to re- 
 quest Lady ami her son, of 
 
 whom Sir M. Beresford was father, 
 and who was, then about twelve years 
 of age, to come to her apaitinent. 
 Immediately upon their arrival, hav- 
 ing ordered her attendants to quit the 
 room, " I have something to comnm- 
 nicate to you both before I die, a 
 period which is not far distant. You, 
 Lady, are do stranger to the fiiend- 
 ship that always subsisted between 
 Lord Tyrone and myself; we were 
 educated under the same roof, in the 
 same principles — tiiose of Deism. — - 
 When the friends into whose hands 
 we afterwards ftll, entleavoured to 
 persuade us to embrace the revealed
 
 to Literari/ Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 religion, their ar!;;unients, though in- 
 sufficient to convince us, were power 
 ful enough to stasiger ©ur former faiih, 
 and to leave us wavering between t'-vo 
 ©pinions. In this perplesisig state of 
 doubt and uncertainty, we made a 
 solejnn promise to each other, tliat 
 whichever shouUI haj;pen to die first, 
 wouhl, if permitted by the Ahnigiity, 
 appear to the other, to declare what 
 religion was most acceptable to him. 
 Accordingly, one night, when Sir M. 
 and myself were in bed, I awakened, 
 and discovered Lord Tyrone, sitting 
 by my bed-side; I screamed out, and 
 eudeavoured, but in vain, to awake 
 Sir M. " For Heaven's sake, Lord 
 Tyrone," said I, " by what means or 
 for what purpose came you here al 
 this time of night." " Have you then 
 forgot our promi'-e," said he, " I died 
 last Tuesday at four o'clock, and have 
 been permitted by the Supreme Being 
 to appear to you, to assure you that 
 the revealed relii;ion is the true and 
 only religion by whicli we ran be 
 saved. I am further suflered to in- 
 form you, that you are now with child 
 of a son, which is decreed shall marry 
 my daughter; not many years after 
 his birth Sir M. will die, and yon will 
 marry again, and to a man whose ill 
 treatment you will be rendered mi- 
 serable by, you will bring him two 
 daughters, and afterwards a son, in 
 child-l»ed of whom yon will die, in 
 the 47th year of your age." 
 
 " Just Heaven," exclaimed I, " and 
 cannot I prevent this?" " Undoubt- 
 edly you may," returned he, " you 
 have a free assent, and may prevent 
 it all by resisting every temptation to 
 a second marriage; but your passions 
 are strong, you know not their power; 
 bilheito you have had no trial, nor 
 am J permitted to tell you; but, if 
 after tins warning, you persist in your 
 infidelily, your lot in another world 
 will be miserable indeed." " May 
 I ask, said I, if you are happy." — 
 •' Had I been otherwise, said he, I 
 
 should not have been tlius permitted 
 to appo.ir to you." " I may thence 
 infer you are happy;" he smiled ; 
 " but how, said J, when morning 
 comes, shall I be convinced that your 
 appearance thus to me has been real, 
 and iiot the mere phantom of my own 
 imagitialion." •' Will not the news 
 of my death, said he, be sufficient to 
 convince you ?" " No, returned I, 
 I miuht have had such a drean», and 
 lh;it dream might accidentally come 
 to pass; I wish 10 have some stronger 
 proof of its reality." You shall, said 
 lie;" — then waving his hand, the bed- 
 curtains, which were of crimson vel- 
 vet, were instantly drawn through a 
 large iron hoop, by which the tester 
 of the bed, which was of an oval 
 form, was suspended: " In that, said 
 lie, you cannot be nnstakcn ; no mor- 
 tal could have performed this." — - 
 " True, said I, but sleeping we are 
 often possessed of far greater strength 
 than awake; though awake 1 could 
 not have done it, asleep I mij;ht — I 
 shall still doubt." He then said, 
 " you have a |)ocket'book, in the 
 leaves cf which 1 will write ; you know 
 my hand-writing." I replied "Yes." 
 He wrote with a pencil on one side of 
 the leaves. " Still, said I, in the 
 morning, I doubt, though awake, I 
 niav not imitate your hand, asleep I 
 mii;ht." *' You are hard of beliei, 
 said he, I must not touch you, it 
 would injure you irreparably ; it is 
 not for spirits to touch mortal flesh." 
 " I do not regard a small blemish, 
 said I." " You are a woman of 
 courage, said he, hold out your hand." 
 I did ; he touched my wrist ; his hand 
 was cold as marble ; in a moment the 
 sinews shrunk up, every nerve wi- 
 thered. — " Now, £aid he, while you 
 live, let no mortal eye behold that 
 wrist; to see it would be sacrilege." 
 He stopped — I turned to him again — ■ 
 he was gone. During the time in 
 which I had conversed vtith him, my 
 thouglits were perfectly calm and col-
 
 Interesting Nmrathes, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, S^c. 5T 
 
 lected, but the niomeut lie was gone 
 1 felt chilled with horrnr, anl a cold 
 sweat came over nie ; every limb and 
 joint shook UHder nie ; I endeavoured 
 to awake Sir M. but in vain ; all iii\ 
 efforts were inofttctual. In this state 
 of agitation I lav some time, wh( n a 
 shower of tears came to mv relief. I 
 drop|)ed asleep. In the morniuj,' Sir 
 Marcus arose and dressed himsilf as 
 usual, without perceiviu;:^ the state in 
 which the curtains remained. When 
 I awoke I found Sir Marcus was <;one 
 down. I arose, and having; put on 
 luy clothes, went into the gallery ad- 
 joining our apartment, and took fioju 
 tlience a long broom, such a one as in 
 a large house is frequently used to 
 sweep the corners, with the help of 
 which, though not wiiliout ditliculty, 
 I took down the curtains, as I ima 
 gined their extraordinary position 
 would excite W(»nder among the ser- 
 vants, and occasion en(piiries I wished 
 to avoid. I then went to my bureau, 
 locked iij) the pocket-book, and to ik 
 out a piece of black ribbantl, which 
 I bound round my wribt. ^^'llcu I 
 came down, the agil.ition of my mind 
 on my countenance was too visible to 
 pass long unobserved I)y bir M. he 
 instantly remarked my confusion, and 
 enquired the cause. I assured him 
 I was well, perfectly well, but in- 
 formed him Lord Tyrone was no 
 more, that he died on the preceding; 
 Tuesday, at the hour of four, and at 
 the same time entreated him to drop 
 all enquiries concerning the black rib- 
 band he noticed on my wrist. He 
 kindly desisted from further ini)' -r- 
 tunity, nor did he ever after imagine 
 the cause.- -You, my son, as had been 
 foretold, I brought into the world, 
 and in little niure than four years after 
 your birth, your father died in my 
 arms. .After this nielanchuly event, \ 
 determined, as the only probable 
 means by which to avoid the dreadful 
 sequel of the prediction, to give up 
 every jileasurc, and to jmss tlic re- 
 
 mainder of ray days in solitude: bu^ 
 few can endure to remain in a state of 
 >equestration, I commenced an iiiter- 
 course with one family, and only one; 
 nor could I then see tlie fatal conse- 
 quences which afterwards resulted 
 from it. Little did I imagine that their 
 son, their only son, then a mere youth, 
 would prove the person destined by 
 fate to prove my undoing. In a few 
 yeais I ceased to regard with indiffer- 
 ence; I endeavouied by every possible 
 means to conquer a passion, the Altai 
 coiise(|uenccs of which (if I should 
 ever be \veak enough to yield to its 
 impulse) I too well knew, and fondly 
 im.igined I should overcome its influ- 
 ence ; when the eveniiiii of one fatal 
 day terminated my fortitude, and 
 plunged me in a moment down that 
 abyss I had been so long meditating 
 how to shun. He had frequently 
 been soliciting his parents to go into 
 the army, and at length obtained their 
 permission, and came to bid me fare- 
 well before his departure. 
 
 " The nionient he entered the 
 room, he fell down on his kr.ees at 
 my I'eet, and told me he was nii^er- 
 abl< — that I alone was the cause of it. 
 That instant my fortitude forsook me, 
 I gave nivself up for lost; and con« 
 iidering my l".ite as inevitable, without 
 further hesitation consented to an 
 union, the in;media{e result of whicli 
 I knew to be misery, and its end death. 
 The conduct of n>y husband, after a 
 tew years were passed, amply war- 
 ranted my demand for a separation; 
 I hoped by this means to avoid the 
 f.ital sequel of the prophecy; but, 
 won over by his repealed entreaties, I 
 w as prevailed on to pardon, and once 
 more to rt>si<le with him, though not 
 until after I had, as I supposed, passed 
 my forty-seventh year; but, alas! I 
 have heard tins day from indit^putable 
 aulhorit\, that I have hitherto laid 
 under a mistake with regard to my 
 age, that I am but forty-seven this 
 day. Of iLie iie«r approach of my
 
 SS Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs^ fVonderfu! E-cerds, 
 
 death, therefore, I entertain not the 
 least doubt, but I do not dread its 
 arrival; armed with the saered pre- 
 cept of Christianity, 1 can meet the 
 King of Terrors without dismav; and 
 '.vithout a tear bid adieu to the regions 
 of mortality for ever. 
 
 " When I am dead, as the neces'^ity 
 of its conceahnent ch>ses with my life, 
 I wish that you, my Lady, would un- 
 bind my wrist, take from thence the 
 black ribband, and let my son, with 
 yourself, behold it." Lady li. here 
 paused for some time, but resuming 
 her conversation, she entreated her 
 son to behave so as to merit the high 
 honour he would in future receive 
 from an union with Lord Tyrone's 
 daughter. Lady B. then expre-.sed a 
 wish to lie down en a bed to compose 
 
 herself to sleep. Lady antl her 
 
 «on iiumediately called her attendants, 
 and quitted the room, after having 
 lirst desired them attentively to watch 
 their mistress, and shouhl tliev ob- 
 serve any change in her, to call in- 
 stantly.^ An hour passed, and all was 
 silent in the roou) ; they listened at 
 the door, and everything was slill; 
 but, in about half an hour more, a 
 bell rung violently; they flew (o her 
 apartment; but before they reached 
 the door of it, they heard the ser- 
 vants exclaim " my mistress is dead." 
 
 Lady then desiring the servants 
 
 to quit the room. Lady B.'s son with 
 her herself approached the bed of 
 his mother, they knelt down bv the 
 
 •ideof it; Lady then lifted up 
 
 her hand, unbound the black ribband, 
 and found the wrist exaclly in the 
 same state Lady B. had described, 
 «very nerve withered, every sinew 
 shrunk up. Lady B.'s son, as has 
 been predicted, is now married to 
 Lord Tyrone's daughter; the black 
 ribband and pocket-book are now in 
 
 ih*^ possession of Lady , by 
 
 whom the above narrative is slated, 
 in Ireland; who, together with the 
 Tyrone family, will be found ready to 
 «ttest its truth. — Dublin, Au^. lioi. 
 
 A Lawyer's Opinion of Law. 
 
 COUNSELLOR M 1, after 
 
 he had retired from practice, being 
 one day in company, where the un- 
 certainty of the law became the topic 
 of conversation, he was appliid to for 
 his o|)inion, upon which he laconically 
 abserved, " If any man was to claim 
 the coat upon my back, and threaten 
 my refusal with a law-suit, he should 
 certainly have it; lest in defending: my 
 coat, I should, too late, find that I 
 was dei)rived of my waistccat also." 
 
 The Origin of the Representation of 
 Britannia on the English Copper 
 Coin. 
 
 TO Charles's (the second) parti- 
 ality for \m grace/u/ and accomplished 
 cousin, Frances Stuart, we o\(e 
 the elegant representation of Britan- 
 nia on our copper coin ; he admired 
 and even almost idf)Iized this celebra- 
 ted beauty, but could not seduce her» 
 as he was base enough to essay, 
 though he assailed hi r with compli- 
 ments which he considered were likely 
 to succeed ; and it was from one of 
 the medals struck to perpetuate his 
 admiration of her delicate symmetry, 
 that Britannia was stamped in the 
 form she still bears on our LalfpcQcc 
 and farthin-'s. 
 
 The Contest settled. 
 
 A JVELSHMAS and an Englishman dit- 
 puled, 
 A^'bicb of their lands maintain 'd the great- 
 est slate; 
 
 The Enylishntan (be ff'elshman quite con- 
 futed, 
 The ff'chhman yet wou'd not bis vanntt 
 abate, 
 
 Ten cooks, qnotb be, in Wales, one wed- 
 ding see*! ; 
 
 Ay, quoth the other, each man toast* bit 
 cheese. 
 
 Ttro Commandments applied. 
 
 "THOU fehalt not steal!" Good Counsel- 
 lor lie still; 
 "Tbon Shalt not murder .'" Doator, spar*
 
 Intereathis: Xarratkcs, Enirrmmt, Epifj^rnmn, Poetnj, S^e. 59 
 
 Sketch of the Militari/ Life of his 
 Grace the Dukf. of ll'elHn^lon. 
 
 17S7 MARCH 7- Appointtd ensign 
 
 in the 73d foot. 
 December 25. Appointed lieu- 
 
 teunnt in the J()\\\ loot. 
 17SS January C!3. Exclianged into 
 
 tiie 41st rejjinient. 
 17S9 June 25. Exchanged into the 
 
 ISth dragoons. 
 
 1791 September 20, Received a 
 
 company iii llie 5Sth fool. 
 
 1792 October 31. Again exciianL'e<i 
 
 to the iSth (lr;ii;oons — a|>- 
 ])ointi'(lm<ij()riii tliouJtl foot. 
 
 1793 April 30. Appointed lieute- 
 
 nant-colonel. 
 1791 Commanded a brigade of in- 
 fantry durinc Lord Moira's 
 retreat through riandcrs. — 
 Shortly after was em|iloyed 
 in the expedition, under Ad- 
 miral Christian, destined for 
 the We^t Indies, and accom- 
 panied his reginuiit to India. 
 
 1795 May 3. Received the rank of 
 
 colonel by brevet. 
 
 1796 May 4. Colonel Wellesley at- 
 
 tacked and took Seringapa- 
 tam, for which he received 
 thanks in public orders from 
 General Harri*. 
 
 J 800 September 5. He intercepted 
 Dhoudia Wau^h's forc^ at 
 Conaghull, when Dhoudia 
 liimself and a great number 
 of his followers were killed, 
 and the w hole body dispersed: 
 for this, Colonel ^^■ellesley re- 
 ceived I lie thanks of General 
 Bralhwaile, then in command 
 of the forces at Madras, 
 and also of the governor- 
 general in council. 
 
 3 802 A^)ril 29. Obtained the rank 
 of major-general. 
 
 3-S03 April 21. After a forced march 
 of sixty imles, entered Too- 
 nah, possession of which had 
 keen lakeu by Holkar. 
 
 1803 September 23. Major-general 
 Wellesley, with an army con- 
 sisting only of 4,500 men, of 
 whom about 2000 were Euro- 
 peans, attacked and defeated, 
 at Assaye, Scindeah's army, 
 consisting of 38,500 cavalry, 
 10,500 regular infantry, 500 
 match-locks, 500 rocket-men, 
 and 90 pieces of ordinance. 
 He next turned his attention 
 to tlie Rajar Ikrar's armv, 
 which he defeated on tii« 
 plains of A gram. 
 
 December J 4. Carried by storm 
 
 the almost inipregnable for- 
 tress of Gawilghar. 
 
 December lO". Signed a treaty 
 
 of peace with the Rajar of 
 Berar. 
 
 December 30. Ditto ditto witk 
 
 Scindeah. 
 
 ISO! Appointed a knight of the Mili- 
 tary Order of the Bath. 
 
 IS05 Early in this year lie returned 
 to England, when a swordj 
 valued at 1000/. was present- 
 ed to him by the inhabitants 
 of Calcutta : thanks were vot- 
 ed to bim by both Houses of 
 Parliament; and his com- 
 panions in arms presented 
 him with a gold vase, valued 
 at 2,000 guineas. 
 
 In the autumn. Sir A. Weilesley 
 
 accojnpanied Lord Catlicart 
 to Hanover, and on the re- 
 turn of the army, was ap- 
 pointed to a district. 
 
 I8O6 January 30. Received the co- 
 lonelcy of the 33d regiment. 
 
 IS07 Defeated a detachment of Danet 
 near Kioge. 
 
 180S April 25. Attained the rank 
 of lieutenant-general. 
 
 August 17. Fought the battle 
 
 of Roleia. 
 — — August 2 1 . That of Vimeira 
 
 and shortly afterwards returns 
 
 ed to England. 
 I8O9 January 16. Coryui^a, 
 
 x2
 
 60 lAlerary Cur/osi'ties, Ep'tfapha, WomJerfiil Etenls, 
 
 1809 March 22. Rt lurned Jo Por- 
 tugal, and appointfd by tlie 
 Prince Regent of Portugal, 
 niarsl)al-<>eneral of the Por- 
 tuguese troops. 
 
 -— ~ May 11, Passed tlie Dourn, 
 defeated Soult, and captured 
 Oporto. 
 
 July 28. Fought the battle of 
 
 Tvilavcra. 
 In this year he was created 
 Viscount Wellington. 
 
 5810 September 2. Fought the bat- 
 tle of Busaco. 
 
 ■ October 7. Coinibra. 
 
 J811 March 5. Barossa 
 
 ■ May 5. That of Fuentes de 
 
 Honore, or Almeida. 
 
 May l6". Albuera. 
 
 October 28. Arroyo del Mo- 
 
 lino. 
 In this year his lordship was 
 created by the Prince Regent 
 of Portugal, Conde de Vi- 
 nieira, and on the 31st July, 
 received the local rank of 
 general in Spain & Portugal. 
 
 1S12 January 19. Ciudad Rodrigo 
 carried by storm. 
 
 — — March \6. Badajos also car- 
 ried by storm. 
 
 May 14. JNIadrid. 
 
 • May 19. Alnierez. 
 
 July 22. Fought the battle of 
 
 Salamanca. 
 In this year his lordship was 
 
 created Marquis Wellington. 
 1813 January ]. Was appointed 
 
 colonel of the Horse Guards. 
 
 May 22. Castilia. 
 
 June 21. The battle of Vitto- 
 
 ria; appointed lield-marslial, 
 
 and same year a knight ot 
 
 the Garler. 
 
 July 25, 20', 27, and 28. Py- 
 
 renees, 
 
 August 11. Pyrenees. 
 
 Sepit'mber Q. St. Sebastian. 
 
 October 9- Bidassoa. 
 
 — — October .31. Pampeluna. 
 -— December 9, 10, 11, 12, and 
 13. Ncive. 
 
 iS 14 February 27. Othes. 
 
 April 10. Toulouse, 
 
 • May 3. He was created Mar- 
 quess Dcuro, and Duke of 
 Wellington. 
 
 1815 June 18. Battle of Waterloo. 
 
 — — •Julys. The city of Paris capi- 
 tulated lo the Duke and 
 Prince Blucher — the British 
 and Prussian forces took j)os- 
 sesson on the 7th. 
 
 J uly 1 8. Created Prince of 
 
 Waterloo, by the King of the 
 Ketherlands, wiih the estate 
 of the Belle Alliance, 
 
 European Magazinft 
 
 Late IJovys. 
 
 THE late hours of dining in the 
 fashionable circles were neatly ceu- 
 sured by the late Mr. Pitt. " Mr. 
 Pitt," said the Duchess of Gordon, 
 " I wish you to dine with me this even- 
 ing at ten." " 1 atn sorry I cannot 
 wait on your Grace," replied the min- 
 ister; " as I am engaged to aup wilU 
 the Bishop tf Lincoln at nine." 
 
 On a Flash in the Pan from a Military/ 
 Pop-giin 
 
 A BRAINLESS yonng crimp, with an up- 
 cockins; Nuont, 
 
 Was one day in a roflVe-hoiise prating; 
 And -.Tliileahntit battles he made agreat rout, 
 
 And his prowess most highly wasi rating ; 
 
 A stranger who stood pretty near to the prig, 
 
 And ot non»<ense iiad had a fult dose; 
 Said, "Sir, the' of guns you've drawn many 
 a trig, 
 "Pray dou 'I cock you r'nose quite so close." 
 
 " Cocii his nose, and why not r" says a droll 
 glauder-hy, 
 '' On his feats he has nobly enlarg'd ; 
 "But his nose, cock'd audpriard. you may 
 safely dely, 
 "For I'm sure that his head is not 
 charff'd." 
 
 On Randolph Peter, of Oriel, the Eater. 
 
 SVHOK'ER yon are, tread softly, I en- 
 treat you. 
 
 For if he chance to wake, be Kure bv'U eit 
 you.
 
 Inlerestlns; IVarralkcs, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, Sr. 61 
 
 JExtraonltnari/ Insfaticrs of the acule 
 i>ense.i of lilind Prisons. 
 
 IT is said of a person born blind 
 at Puissemix, in the prnvinrp of Ca- 
 tinois, in France, tlsat In? judged of 
 llic proxiniitvof fire by tlie dc<;rce of 
 heat; the fulness of vessels bv tin- 
 noise of dec:uited licpior"? a<; tliey f<|| ; 
 and tlie nearness of bodie«, by the 
 action of the air on bis fare, ile 
 had made very exact balances of bi« 
 arms, and ahnost infallible compasses 
 of bis finders. Tiie varieties in the 
 poli^b of l)odies were di'iinguished 
 by him with greater facility, and a 
 greater de^rree of accur'jcy, than the 
 sound of the voice, the variations of 
 which he was also very e\|)ert in de- 
 fining. He judged of beauty by 
 feeling, and made pronunciation, and 
 the tone of the voice, a part of tlii'-. 
 judgment. He was very sure of the 
 exact spot where noise or a voice 
 came from. It is reported tli.it he 
 once had a (piarrel with his brother, 
 whose cye-sipht was of no advant:ii:o 
 to him to avoid his blows: vexed at 
 his threats, and at sonjcthing he took 
 for ill-usage, he laid hold of the first 
 object at iiand, struck him in the 
 middle of the f -rehead, and knocked 
 him down. This adventure, and 
 some others, caused him to be cited 
 before the lieutenant cf the police at 
 Paris, where lie then lived. The ex- 
 ternal signs of power, that aHett 
 others in so sensible a manner, make 
 ijo impression on tht bliud. I]e ap- 
 peared before tlic magistrate as be- 
 fore his equal: his menaces did not 
 in the least intimidate him. — '* What 
 will yon do to nie?" said he to the 
 magistrate. "I will cast you," an- 
 swered the magistrate, " into a dun- 
 geon." "Ah! good Sir." replied the 
 blind man, " I have been in one these 
 five and tweuty years past." Jl mav, 
 perhaps, be thought, that one born 
 blind has no idea of virion. Of tlii> 
 we may judge by the answer of llif 
 *uue blind person, wiua a^ked what 
 
 eyes were? — "Eyes," sai'l he, "are 
 ;in organ, on whicls the air has the ef- 
 fect my stick has on m\ lia.id. 'J he 
 same thing Iia|.[)ens to me when I seek 
 for a thing with my stick, and meet 
 ^^itll anotlier thing." He defiiutl a 
 lof>king-giass, a n.achine that nives 
 things a ri'litj' far frotn tlien)selves, if 
 placeil conveniently in rilation to 
 them. " Just as my band," added 
 he, " which I need not place near an 
 object, in order to feel it." How 
 many renowned philosophers, says a 
 modern cutlior, have shown less sub- 
 tilty m endeavourui^ to pri»ve the 
 truth of notions that have been 
 equally false ? 
 
 Yatiiewicz and the IJachney-CoacJimnn 
 
 NVHCN Ytinitivic: fiist c;ime into 
 this country, he lived at llie west-end 
 of the town. Ore day, utter paying 
 several visits, he foun<l himself a little 
 out of his latitude, and called a liack- 
 nev, w lit^n this dialogue ensued ; 
 
 ('ofic/'Vuin. — (shutting the door) 
 Where to, sir ? 
 
 Y'dti. — Home — nwn ami — you go 
 mc home. 
 
 Coaclim. — Home, sir, where 's tliat? 
 
 Yun. — By gar, I know no — de 
 name of de dam street hds echape, has 
 escjpcd out of my memory: 1 have 
 forgot him. ^'al I shall do ; 
 
 Coachman. — (grins.) 
 
 Yau. — Ah ! you are g;iy — come 
 now — you understand de musique, — 
 
 i:h ! 
 
 Coachman. — Music — what's tlu.t to 
 do with the street ? 
 
 Yan. — Ah ! vous verrez — you shall 
 see— (hums a tune) — \'at is dat ? 
 
 Coachman — Molbrook. 
 
 17m. — Ah! by gar — d«t is Iiiin— 
 Marlbro' Street — now yoM drive-a me 
 liotne — Ell ! 
 
 'I'iii.s ib a fact. We have i>(\en heard 
 iliat " mu&ic hath charms" to do 
 many ckner ihin'^s, but this ij-, I be- 
 icve, the first time of its instructing 
 a coachman where he was to set down.
 
 m 
 
 Literany Curiosities^ Epitaphs, IVonderful Events, 
 
 The Cat Eateri 
 THOUGH facts will swell as stories fly, 
 'Till truth o'erstretch'ii, becomes a lie, 
 Theteil-taltt iiere no legend frames, 
 Which more than mod'rate credence claims ; 
 Nor. bouucer-like, a tiction broaches, 
 For thoL*e \Tho swallcw lies like loaches ; 
 Kor Sceptic dreads, whose scowling eye, 
 At ought uncommon darts the lie; 
 So con the (ale — his heart's at quiet, 
 Believe it, doubt it, or deny it. 
 
 John Trot, a honrespnn country put, 
 JiACK Sly one morning met, full-butt; 
 Who, starting, star'd, and stamm'ring raid. 
 Lord, .luh-Juh-John! what an't you dead? 
 Dead! whoy? says Joha: dear heart, quoth 
 
 ^ly, 
 
 Don't rave, 1 11 (ell the reason why; 
 Dick Bam declares, who saw the sight, 
 You eat up three live cats last night! 
 Eat thrteloive cats, quoth .John, odd rot it? 
 Proime news! I wonder wheere he got it! 
 But I'll soon foind — so speeds to Bam, 
 Whollatly swore 't\> as alia fiam: 
 3 could niit say, quoih Dick, ih; t you 
 Had eat three cats, 'twasonly two: 
 Two ! in the Eeevil's neame ! and who 
 Has told, say 1 rot, this tealeto you? 
 Bob Banter. — O, he did, quoth .Tobn, 
 I'll meakehim cheange liis noate anon! 
 So hies (o Banter, all agog, 
 Whom thus he greets:— 'Yow sland'ring 
 
 dog, 
 ' Who reake up loies to gull (he flats, 
 'Did I, least neet, eat two loive cats V 
 Two, replies Banter, that's rare fun ! 
 Eat ME if I said nicre than one. 
 Than one, and dom it, whoy say that? 
 Whoy say, that leal oxe loive cat ? 
 Your brother told me so, says Bob ; — 
 If so, says John, I'll jolt his knob : 
 
 So, or went Cain, in quest of Abel, 
 Witb mind wbose index lack'd no label ; 
 As frowning ijrow, and flashing eye. 
 To John's intents ne'er gave the lie; 
 And, had he (l;«n met Tom, his brother, 
 Dealh might have levelFd one or t'other: 
 Bu<. fortunately, John, thus fool'd, 
 Nohrothor found till passion cool'd; 
 When, lighting then, on tattling Tom, 
 He cry'd, ' Wheere got'st thou that teale 
 
 from, 
 *(Pies on thy tongue, thou foul-month'd 
 
 brat,) 
 *That I last neet gohb'd up a cat' 
 A cat, cries Tom, thou sputt'ring spare, 
 A puss, I said, a fine fat hare, 
 Alother, herself, here, told me thai, — 
 
 • You lie, you rcguc, not hare, nor cat,' 
 Quoth old Dame Trolt, 'so donna blab it, 
 
 • I only said, John eat a rabbit ; 
 
 ' And (bat's a truth, I'll pledge my life, 
 
 • Tor, here's my autbuF; johk s o\v.\ wife !' 
 
 When John's meek spouse demurely rose, 
 And cry'd, "good friend's this contest 
 
 close; 
 For, sure as women breed by marriage, 
 Stories ".'vill always breed in carriage; 
 And though THREE cats of exglish breed, 
 'Tis said, poor John dispatch'd with speed ; 
 John supp'd, as oft he's supp'd before, 
 On one welch rabbit, — nothing more." 
 
 DOCUMENT. 
 
 This tale let mem'ry take in low, 
 'Twill slack the strings ofslander'show: 
 Dumbfound each fable-broaching fool, 
 And shake the props of scandal's school : 
 For, when foul babblers raise a pack 
 Of lie" to load a neighbour's back ; 
 Tell (hem, you join no 8land'rer>i jeers. 
 Nor to fools' tougues lend asses' ears, 
 Nor make, for flams, to impose on flats, 
 Ofo.vE tVdch llahbit, three live cais! 
 
 To an affected Old Maid. 
 
 THOUGH 'papa and mamma' my deari 
 
 So prettily you call, 
 Yet you, methinks, yourself appear 
 The graud-manuua of all. 
 
 On Dr. Hill's Farce, called 'The Rout.' 
 
 FOR Physic aud Farces 
 His equal (here scarce is; 
 
 His farces are physic, 
 His physic a farce is. 
 
 On Paul Fulkr and Peter Potter, vho lie 
 
 buried close by each other in Oldham, 
 
 Church-Yttrd. 
 'TIS held by Peter and by Paul, 
 
 That when we fill our graves or urni, 
 Ashes to ashes crumbling fall. 
 
 And dust to dust once more re(Drns! 
 So here, a (ruth unmeant for mirth. 
 
 Appears in monumental lay; 
 Paul's grave is flll'd with Fuller's earth, 
 
 And Peter's cramm'd with Potter's clay! 
 
 An Epitaph. 
 GOD works wonders now and then; 
 Here lies a lairycr, and an honest man. 
 
 Answered, 
 
 THIS is a mere law-quibble, nol a wonder: 
 Here lies a lawyer, and — his client under. 
 
 To a bad Poet. 
 
 ONE fault — I cannot bear poetic sinning-.- 
 Thy verses have; and (ha( is (he bejinnin^; 
 But, this one fault in some sor( lo amend, 
 The) h«vcoue excelkvct,aQd Ibat'i the epd.
 
 Inleresthis^ Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poefrjj^ 9^c. 65 
 
 Remarkable Time-Piece. 
 
 IN \765, Mr. Norton, of St. 
 John's Street, executed for his Ma- 
 jesty, agreeable to the diroctions 
 which he h.id received, a curious 
 time-piece, of which the following de- 
 scription was eivcn in some of the 
 journals: — " This clock has four 
 faces, the first and principal of 
 which shews true and apparent time, 
 with till- rising and setting of '.he sun 
 every day in the year, by a morning 
 horizon, which consequently shows 
 the lengthening and shortening of the 
 days: it likewise shows the time of 
 the day in several parts of the earth. 
 The second front has a solar system, 
 which shows the motion of the planets 
 in their orbits, according to Coper- 
 nicus. Thp third shows the age and 
 ditferent phases «)f the moon, with 
 the time of the tides at thirty-two 
 ditTerent sea-ports. The fouilh and 
 last, by a curious retrograde motion 
 in a spiral, shews every day of the 
 month and year, and likewise the 
 months and days of the week, with 
 appropriate emblems, The calcu- 
 lations and numbers for the wheels 
 for the solar system, where given by 
 Dr. Bevis; and the designs for all 
 the dial plates, with the numbers 
 and calculations and mode of per- 
 forming the moon and tides, by the 
 ingenious Mr. Ferguson." 
 
 Garrick, 
 
 IN the summer of 1778, their Ma- 
 jesties made an excursion through 
 the encampments which were then 
 formed on the western coast. '1 his 
 drew a number of visitors to Win- 
 chester, and among the rest the Eng- 
 lish Roscius, to whom a whimsical 
 accident occurred at one of the 
 reviews, and which Sir Joshua Rey- 
 nolds, who was then at that place, 
 afterwards recounted wiih great hu- 
 Uour. 
 
 At one of these field days in the 
 vicinity, Garrick lound it necessHry 
 to dismount, when his hoise escaped 
 t'lom his hold and ran ofi"; throwing 
 himself immediately into his proies- 
 siona! attitude, he cried out, as if on 
 Bosworth lield, "A horse! ahorsel 
 my kingdom for a horse!" 
 
 'Ihis exclamation, and the accom- 
 panying attit ;de excited great amaze-* 
 mcnt amongst the surrounding spec- 
 tators, who knew him not : but ic 
 could not escape his M ijesly's quick 
 apprehension, for a beisig within hi» 
 hearing, he immediately said," Tiiose 
 must be the tones of Garrick ! see it' 
 he is not on the ground." The 
 theatrical and dismounted moivarchi 
 was immediately brou.t^ht to his Ma- 
 jesty, who not only condoled with 
 him most goodhumouredly on his 
 mi>fortune, but Halteringly added, 
 " that his delivery of bhakspeare 
 could never pass undiscovered." 
 
 Royal Elocution. 
 
 IT has been said of his Majesty, 
 that he recited a speech, or delivered 
 an oration with more true modula- 
 lalion and eloquence, than most 
 men in his dominions. His speeches 
 from the thione to the two houses of 
 parliament, were always considered 
 as specimens of beautiful' elocution, 
 and this was the more^ remarkable, 
 since in common conveisation, the 
 king spoke with a rapidity which 
 sometimes made him unintelli-gible 
 to those who were not familiarized 
 to his peculiar mjde of expression. 
 The Prince Regent has tljesanaemerij 
 in his deliberate ailiculation, witli- 
 out the fault of a hasty utterance. 
 He reads Horace and Virgil wiiht 
 uncommon elegance, and to his 
 taste and judgment, in the most 
 (JilTicult passages, the best classical 
 scholars in the country can bear te*' 
 limoDv.
 
 TiilerAry Curlosilks^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 A Warning to Jurymen to he cauimis 
 of judging from Circumstances, 
 
 IN the Rei^n of Queen Elizabeth, 
 a persOi) was arraigned before Sir 
 James Di/er, Lord Cliief Justice of 
 the Court (if Common Pieas, upon an 
 indictment for tlie murder of a man, 
 vlio dwelt in the same parish with the 
 prisoner. The first witness against 
 liim deposed, that on a certain day, 
 jnenlioned by the witness, in tlie niorn- 
 iiii;, as he was going ihiouiih a close, 
 whicli he parlienliuly described, at 
 some distance from the path, i)e .saw 
 a person lying in a rotu'iiiion that de- 
 noted him to be either dead or drunk ; 
 that he weni to llie party, and found 
 liim actually dead, two wounds ap- 
 peared in his breast, and his shirt 
 and ckthes niucli staiiied uitii blo/td : 
 that the wounds appealed to the 
 witness to have been given by the 
 j'.uncture of a fork, or some such in- 
 strument, vnd lonking about he disco- 
 vert d a fork, lyiiig near the cor^.se, 
 wiiich he took up, and observed it to 
 be marked with tlie iiiitial letters of 
 the prisoner's nauic, the witness at 
 the iame lime pro(luce<! the foik in 
 court, wiiich tiie prisoner owned to 
 be his, and waved a^kiiig tlie wilness 
 any questions. 
 
 A second wilncs deposed, that on 
 the morning of the day oil w liieli the 
 deceased w^ls killed, the wilness ha'l 
 ri'sen early with an intention to go to 
 a neighbouring market-town w hn h he 
 nanau — ;liat as he was sianding in the 
 entry of iiis own dwelling house, tlie 
 street door being open, he saw the pri- 
 soj)er come by, dressed in a suit of 
 clothes, the colour and fashion ci 
 whuh tile wiln*>ss described — that he 
 (the wiliiesb) was pievenled going to 
 market; and ihal afterwards tlie tirst 
 vilness bruuglit notice to the town, 
 of t!;e dealh, and wounds of tlie de- 
 ceasfd person, and also of the said 
 piisoiitr's fork being foinid near the 
 twrpse — thitt upon this rc^^,oit the 
 
 prisoner w as apprehended, and car- 
 ried before a justice of peace, wlH>m 
 he named and pointed at, he being 
 then present in court; that he (the wit- 
 ness) followed the prisoner to the 
 justice's house, and attended his ex- 
 amination, during which he observed 
 the exchange of raiment which the 
 prisoner had mode, since the time 
 when the witness had first seen him in 
 the moriiing— that at the time of 
 such examination, the |>ris'>iier was 
 dressed in the same clothes which he 
 had on at the time of the trial and 
 that on the wilness charging hint 
 with having changed his clothes he 
 gave several sIiufHing answers, and 
 would have denied it ; that upon tlie 
 witness mentioning this circumstance 
 of the change of dress, the justice 
 granted a warrant to seat ch the pri- 
 soner's house for the clothes described 
 by the wilnc>s, as having been put off 
 since the morning; that the witness at- 
 tenthd, and assisted at the search; 
 and that alter a nicetncpiiry for two 
 hours and upwards, the very clothes 
 which the wilntss had described, were 
 discovered, concealed in a straw bed ; 
 he tlien produccil the bloody clothes 
 in court, which the prisoner owned to 
 be his clothes, and lo have been 
 tlirust into the straw bed with an in- 
 tention to conceal them, on account 
 of llieir being bloody, ; 
 
 'J'he prisoner also waved asking this 
 secoiul witness any questions. 
 
 A third witness deposed to his hav- 
 ing heard the prisoner deliver certain 
 meiiaces aganst the deceased, from 
 whence the prosecutor intended to 
 infer Malice propense. In answer to 
 which, the prisoner proposed certain 
 questions to the court, leading to a 
 discovery of I he occasion of the nie- 
 nnciu'j: expressions deposed to, and 
 from the answer of the witness to those 
 qnesti! ns, it appeared, that the de- 
 ceased had first menaced the prisoner. 
 
 The prisiMU'r being called upon to 
 make Ills defence, addressed IhcfoU
 
 Interestins; Narratives ^ Enigmas, Epigrams, -Poelry, SfC. 65 
 
 lowiiin narration to the court, as con- 
 taining all he knew concerninjj the 
 manner and circninstances of the 
 death of the deceased, viz. " That 
 he rented a close in the same ])arish 
 with the deceased, und tlint the de- 
 ceased rented another close adjoining 
 to it — that the only way to his own 
 close was througli that of the d - 
 ceased; that on the day, tiie murder 
 in the indictment was snid to be com- 
 mitted, he rose early in the morning, 
 in order to go to work in his close, 
 with iiis fork in his hand, and passing 
 throuiih the deceased's ground, he 
 observed a man at some distance from 
 the path, l>ing down, as if dead, or 
 drunk ; that he ll-Oiight hiinsell 
 bound to see what coudilion the per- 
 son was in, and upon getting up to 
 Iiim, lie found him in the la-it extre- 
 mity, with two wound? in his brrast, 
 from whicli a great (luaiitity of blood 
 liad issued ; that in order to relieve 
 him, he raised him up, and with great 
 difficulty set hirn in his lap ; that he 
 told the deceased he was greatly con- 
 cerned at his unhappy fate, and the 
 more so, as there seemed to be too 
 much leason to apprehend he had 
 been murdered; that he inlnate.l the 
 decease! to disrover, if possible, the 
 occasion of his misfortune, assuring 
 him, he would use his utmost endea- 
 vours to do justice to his sulTerings ; 
 that the deceased seemed to be sen- 
 sible of what he said, and in the 
 midst of his agonies, attempted, as 
 he thought, to speak to inm, but 
 being seized with a ralthns in ins 
 throat, after a hard struggle, he gave 
 a dreadful groan, and vomiting a 
 great deal of blood, some of wliich 
 fell on his (the prisoner's) clothes, he 
 expired in his arms — that the shock 
 he felt on account of this accident, 
 was not to be expressed, and the 
 rather, as it was well known, tliM 
 there had been a difference betweeii 
 the deceased and himself, on whicli 
 account he might possibly be suspected 
 
 of the murder; that he tii->refore 
 thought it advisable to leave the Qe- 
 ceased in the condition he was, and 
 to take no further notice of the matter; 
 that in the confusion he was in whea 
 he left the place, he took away the 
 deceased's fork, and left itis own in 
 the room of it, by the side of the 
 corpse; that being obliged lo go to 
 his work, he thought it best to shift 
 his clothes, that they might not be 
 s«en; he confessed he had hid them 
 in tlie place where they »vere found; 
 that it was true, he had denied before 
 the justice that he had changed his 
 clothes, being conscious that this was 
 an u^ly circumstance which might be 
 iirge«j against him, and being tmwill- 
 i:ig lo be brought into trouble, if he 
 could help it : and concluded his story 
 with a solemn doclaration, that he 
 had related nothing but the truth, 
 without adding or diminishing one 
 tittip, as he should answer it to God 
 Mmighty," Being thi n called upon 
 to produce his witnesses, the prisoner 
 answered with a steaiy composed 
 < uuntenance, and resolution (»f voice, 
 lie hud no witntss but God and his 
 oum Conscience. 
 
 The judge then proceeded to de- 
 liver his charge, in which he patheti- 
 cally enlarj;ed on the heinonsness of 
 I he crine, and laid great stress oa 
 the force of the evidence, which, 
 although circuntstantial only, he de- 
 clared he thfiughr to be irresistible, 
 and little inferior to the most positive 
 proof — that the prisoner had, indeed, 
 rooked up a very plausible story ; but 
 if such, or the like alienations, were 
 to be admitted in a case of this kind, 
 no murderer would ever be brought 
 io justice, such bloody deeds being 
 <;enera!l' perpetrated in the dark, and 
 with the greatest secrecy — that the 
 .resent case was exemj^ted, in his 
 ipit.ion, from all possibility of doubt, 
 .md that they ought not to hesitate 
 one moment about finding the pri- 
 soner guilti/.
 
 S'J Literarf/ r-'^^^'^'^^f Epitaphs, TVonderful Ex^nh, 
 
 "Ylie v«>renian begged of his lord- 
 ,W(j, as this was a case of life and 
 «Jeath, that the jury might be at li- 
 berty to withdraw ; and, upon this 
 motion, an officer was sworn to keep 
 the jury. 
 
 Tins trial came on the first in the 
 morning, and the judce having aat 
 till nine at night, expecting the return 
 of the jury, at last sent an officer to 
 enquire if they were agreed in their 
 verdict, and to signify to them, that 
 his lordsiiip would wait no loniier for 
 them. Some of them rttiirr.ed for 
 answer, that eleven of their body had 
 been of the sanie mind from tiiC first, 
 but that it was their misfortune to 
 have a foreman tliat proved to be a 
 singular instance of the most invete- 
 rate obstinacy ; who having taken up 
 n diffi-rent opinion from I hem, was 
 unalterably fixed in it. The messen- 
 ger was no sooner returned, but the 
 conjplaining members, alarmed at the 
 thoughts of being kept undor confine- 
 ment all the night, and, despairing of 
 bringing their dissenting brother over 
 to their own way of thinking, agreed 
 1o accede to his opinion, and having 
 acquainted him with their resolution, 
 they sent an officer to detain his lord- 
 ship a feu jiiinutes, and ihen wcnl 
 into the court, and by their foreman 
 brought in the prisoner 'not gJi'dly. 
 His lordship could not help expressing 
 the greatest surprise and indignation 
 at this unexpected verdict; and, 
 after giving the jury a severe admoni- 
 tion, be refused to record their ver- 
 dict, and sent ihem back again, with 
 rlircclions that they should be locked 
 lip all niglit, without fire or candle. 
 Tiie whole blame was publicly laid on 
 the foreman, by the rest of the mem- 
 bers, «nd th.ey spent the night in load- 
 ing him with refiections, and bewail- 
 ing their unhapj)y fate, in being 
 iissociaied with so hardened a wretch 
 — but iie remained quite indexible, 
 couhlantly declaring he would sutler 
 ilvatii, rulhcr tiran change his opinion. 
 
 As soon as his lordship came inta 
 court the next morning, he sent again 
 to the jury, on which, all tlie eleven 
 members joined in requesting their 
 foreman to go again into couit, as- 
 suring him, they wiuld adhere to 
 their former verdict, whatever was 
 the consequence; and, on being re- 
 proached with their former mcon- 
 stancy, they j)romised never to desert, 
 nor recriminate on their foreman any 
 more. Upon these assurances, they 
 proceeded into courl, and again 
 brought in the prisoner, vot guilty. 
 The judge, unable to conceal his 
 rage at a verdict which apj)eared to 
 him in the most iniquitous light, re- 
 proached them with the severest cen- 
 suies, and dismissed them with this 
 cutting reflection. That the blood of 
 the deceased lay at their door. 
 
 The prisoner, on his part, fell on 
 ills knees, and with uplifted eyes and 
 hands, thanked God for his deliver- 
 ance ; and addressing himself to tho 
 judge, cried out. You see, my Lord, 
 that God and a good conscience ars 
 the best of icilnesses. 
 
 These circumstances made a deep 
 impression on the mind of the judge; 
 and as soon as lie was letired from 
 court, he entered into discourse uitli 
 the high sherili', upon what had passed 
 and particularly examined him as to 
 his knowledge of this leader of the 
 jury. The answer this gentleman gave 
 his lordship was, that he had been ac- 
 quainted with him many years ; that 
 he had an estate of fifty pounds per 
 annum, and that he rented a very 
 consirierable farm besides ; that he 
 never knew him charged with an ill 
 action; and Ihnt he was universally 
 esteemed in his neighbourhood. 
 
 For further information, his lord- 
 ship likewise sent for the minister of 
 the parish, who gave the same favor- 
 able account of his parishioner, with 
 this addition, that he was a constant 
 churchman, and devout communicant. 
 
 These accounts rather incrca»e<l hii
 
 Inlerestms Narralhes, Fnigmas, --^.Vrflw^, Poetry, Sfci 67 
 
 lordship's pcrplexif)'; from \vl)ich lie 
 could tljiiik oi' no expedient to deliver 
 hiniseif, but by having a conference 
 ill privatej with fiie only person who 
 could give him satisfaction. Tin's he 
 desired tiie sheritf to procuie, who 
 readily oftered his service, and with- 
 out delay, brought about the dtsired 
 iuiferview. 
 
 Upon thejuryman being introduced 
 to the judge, his loi-dship and he 
 retired into a closet, where his lord- 
 ship opened his reasons for desiring 
 that visit, making no scruple of ac- 
 knovvledgiiii,' the uneasiness he was 
 under, and conjuring his visitor to 
 discover, frankly, his reasons for ac- 
 quitting the prisoner. The juryman j 
 returned for answer, that he had sutti- 
 cient reasons to justify his conduct, 
 and that he wi's neither afraid nor 
 «shanM;d to reveal them; but as he 
 had hitherto locked tliem up in his 
 own breast, and was under no com- 
 pulsion to disclose them, he expected 
 bis lordshi}» would engage, u|)on his 
 honour, to keep wliat he was about 
 to untold, as secret as he himself had 
 done; which his lordship having pro- 
 mised to do, the juryman then pro- 
 ceeded to gi\ e his lordslii|) the follow- 
 ing account : " That the deceased 
 being tytheman of the parish where 
 lie (the juryman) lived, he had, the 
 morning of his decease, been in his 
 (the juryiiian's) grounds, amongst his 
 corn, and had done iiim great injus- 
 tice, by taking more than his due, 
 and acting otherwise in a most arbi- 
 trary manner. That when he com- 
 ))laine(i of this treatment, he had not 
 only been abused with scurrilous lan- 
 guage, but that the deceased had 
 likewise struck at him several times 
 With his fork, and had actually 
 wounded him in two places, the scars 
 of which wounds he then shewed his 
 kirdshij) — that the deceased seemed 
 bent on mi ciiiet, and he (the jury- 
 man) having no weapon to delend 
 himself, hid no other way to preserve 
 
 his own life, but -.., closing in with 
 the deceased, and wren«.v.;,,„ the fork 
 out his hands; which iiaving ifl^, ctfd, 
 the deceased attempted to recover Ui^ 
 fork, and in the scuffle received the 
 two wounds, which had occasioned 
 his death; that he was inexpressibly 
 concerned at the accident, and especi- 
 ally when the prisoner was taken np 
 on suspicion of the murder; that the 
 former assizes being but just over, h« 
 was unwilling to surrender himself, 
 and to confiess the matter, because his 
 farm and affairs would have been 
 ruined by his lying in a goal so long; 
 thiit he was sure to have been ac- 
 quitted on his trial, for that he had 
 consulted the ablest lawyers on the 
 case, who had all agreed, that as tha 
 deceased had been the aggressor, he 
 would only be guilty of manslaughter 
 at the mo>t; th^t it was true he had 
 suffered greatly hi his own mind on 
 the prisoner's account, but being well 
 assured, that imprisonment would be 
 of less ill conse(|uence to the prisoner 
 than to himself, he had sufiered the 
 law to take its course ; that in order 
 to render the prisoner's conlinement 
 as easy to him as possible, he had 
 given him every kind of assistance, 
 and had wholly sup|)orted his family 
 ever since ; that in order to get hitil 
 cleared of the charge laid against fiim, 
 he could think of no other expedient 
 than that of procuring himself to be 
 summoned on the jury, and set at the 
 head of them, which wilh great la- 
 bour and expense he had accomplislied 
 — haviHg all along determined in his 
 own breast, rather to die himself^ 
 than to sutft r any harm to be done to 
 die prisoner." 
 
 His lordship being satisfied at this 
 account, stipulated with thejuryman, 
 that he might he at liberty to relate it, 
 m cHse of his being the survivor. 
 
 The jurvman lived fifteen years 
 afterwards ; the judge inquired after 
 him every year, and iiappeuing to sur- 
 vive him, delivered the above rtiatio* 
 K2
 
 68 
 
 Literanj Curiosities^ jrpitaphs, Wonderful Etents, 
 
 TO BE OR NO- '^O V.7.: \ 
 
 A Vocal Paraphr'"*' ""■ Hamlet's Soliloquy. 
 IN Shaksj-^re's all enlight'ning school, 
 
 Wl^''e wit and wisdom equal shine, 
 wneregenios spurns at fettering rule, 
 
 And.low'ring, soars to height >■ divine; 
 Theroya! Hamlet, wrapt in thought. 
 
 On freedom's pow'r, and fa'es decree, 
 The question, with importance fraught, 
 
 H* states " To be or not to be." 
 
 Now pond'ring if the noble mind, 
 
 Should tamely suffer fortune's frown, 
 Or treat her as a mistress kind, 
 
 Whose smiles our tend'rest wishes crown ; 
 Or. when in diie and troub'lous siege, 
 
 Strong ills assail, like hostile foes, 
 *Twere best to take up arms in rage, 
 
 Her slings and arrows to oppose, 
 
 Revolving then, what 'tis todie, 
 
 Hesays ' tosleep.'and nothing more ; 
 And if from tears it clears each eye, 
 
 And easing hearts that ach'd before ; 
 Ending at once each cank'ring grief. 
 
 To which devoted flesh is heir, 
 That sleep which brings such sweet relief. 
 
 Will soDii be year's, ye sons of care ! 
 
 To sleep ;— But then perchance to dream ; 
 
 "Aye there's the rub," dark doubt replies; 
 For whips, and slings, and lire and flame, 
 
 And widows' moans, and orphans' cries, 
 Oppression's yo'.ip, pride's rankling gall, 
 
 Love's pangs deripised, and law's delay, 
 A bodkin's point might end them all, 
 
 But for that Dream which bars iheway! 
 
 Then, till we quit thi.^ mortal coil. 
 
 To reach that undi^cover'd bourne, 
 Where terminates all human toil, 
 
 And whence no trav'ller can return; 
 Let smiling hope e:;pand the breast. 
 
 And all from doubt and dread be free; 
 Since Jove has order'd for the best, 
 
 WUate'er's To Be or Nor to Be. 
 
 Striker and Co. 
 A YOUNG man fi!»in liie country 
 Jiaving engaged in a mercantile house, 
 some of the cirrks, faking adviintage 
 of his simplicity, gave Jiim a bill, 
 among others, upon Siriker and Co. 
 in Fltet Street. His patieiTce was 
 nearly exhausted in endeavotiring to 
 find this unknown firm; nor uas he 
 aware of the hoax, till a grave bye- 
 stander seriously assured him there 
 were no such persons as Striker and 
 Co. in Fleet-Street, excepting the two 
 images that strike the hours at St. 
 Puubtan's church. 
 
 The Rival Preachers. 
 
 TWO curates, who candidates were for a 
 
 living, 
 Which lay in the prelate of Salisbnry'si 
 
 giving, 
 Old Sherlock, more landed, while here be 
 
 drew breath. 
 For his treats to the living, than treatise od 
 
 death, 
 .\t bistable, where well they'd been feasted 
 
 were told, 
 That he who best preacb'd should the bene 
 
 fice hold : 
 So, as one was nam'd Lowe, and theother't 
 
 name Adam, 
 On Sunday they both in their clericals clad 
 
 'em ; 
 When Lowe in the morning, hi»texl read- 
 ing loud. 
 Quoted "Adam, vhera art thou?" vrhich 
 
 tickl'd the crov» d ; 
 And, to give him his due, bit discourse with 
 
 wit fraught. 
 Was such, that the crowd were both tickl'd 
 
 and taught. 
 When, lo ! after Vespers, poor Adam too 
 
 came. 
 After Lowe bad the changes oft rung on bis 
 
 name; 
 And, to 'Av AM, where art thou?" ms text 
 
 in reply, 
 Was chosen, most happily," Lo, here am I !" 
 And happily did he so descant thereon, ■■ 
 And so liappily bandl'd the theme, pro and 
 
 con. 
 And his sermon so happily bore off the bell, 
 That, to crown Adams welfare, Lowe took 
 
 bis farewell. 
 
 Hard IVork for a Fat Couple. 
 SIR Tunbelly marries Miss Midriff for pelf. 
 And my lady soon gels full as fat as himself; 
 Captain Midriff, ber brother, meets both ia 
 
 bis rounds. 
 And observing the bulk of the pair, he cries, 
 
 " Zounds ! 
 " What a couple of Woolsacks together are 
 
 yok'd ! 
 " More exercise take, or with fat you'll be 
 
 choked-" 
 Says my lady, " More exercise ! none of 
 
 your airs, 
 " Ev'ry morn, noon, and night, I walk up 
 
 and dov\'n stairs, 
 " New don't I, Sir Tun ?" says Sir Tun-" 
 
 belly, "Aye, 
 " And, my dear, that I'm lazy, let nobody 
 
 say, 
 ' For i walk round your ladyship three 
 
 times a day \" 
 
 Epitaph. 
 TlllSspot is the sweetest I've seen all my lifa 
 For it raises m J flowers and covers my wife*
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetnj, 8fC. 69 
 
 Sentiments of Respect to the Memory 
 of JMr. Whitbread. 
 
 "The Noblest Work of God 
 
 hath indeed perished: 
 
 Whitbread was an honest 
 Man "— H. R. H. THE PRINCE 
 REGENT. 
 
 IT v.'ouM be unjust to withhold 
 from him tho praise of bincei ity. 
 
 COURIEU. 
 
 Never was there a more manly or 
 intrepid public character. Star. 
 
 Vice shrunk abashed before the un- 
 bending rigour of the moralist, and 
 venality blushed in the presence of 
 this iDcorruptdble patriot. 
 
 British Press. 
 
 Ke called things bv their right name. 
 Morning Chronicle. 
 
 The extent ot his utility is to be 
 contemplated not only willi a view to 
 the good which he perforn)t d, but to 
 the evil also which he prevented. 
 
 The Times. 
 
 A complete picture of the genuine 
 English Country Gentleman, he was a 
 John Bull in his noblest and most 
 dignified attitude. The Day. 
 
 His motives were honourable and 
 r patriotic. Anti-Gallican. 
 
 His ambition was of (he purest kind 
 —it was to be extensively useful—. 
 
 Statesman. 
 
 To promote the liberty and happi- 
 iiess of the whole human race. 
 
 Observer. 
 
 Tlie death of a few men would have 
 occasioned so large a blank in our 
 Parliamentary History, in the relations 
 of private life, and in all the honour- 
 able situations of Magistrate, Coun- 
 try Gentleman, and active Member of 
 Society. Morning Post. 
 
 He was constant in the discharge of 
 his senatorial duties, and always was 
 lound the advocate in Parliament for 
 relief to the oppressed without any 
 regard to rank, or connection, or 
 party. 
 
 Morning Herald. 
 
 His conduct entitled him to the 
 honourable ajjpellation of " The Re- 
 presentative o( the English People." 
 Morning Advertiser. 
 
 He was ever ready to afi'ord aid to 
 the oppressed ; to combat for principle; 
 to stand in the gap, with a strong arm, 
 to throw back pow er in its aggressions 
 on weakness. His death is a great 
 public calamity: it is a serious loss of 
 the moral strength of England : it is a 
 sad and disheartening inroad on the 
 security of our country — on what has 
 chiefly upheld its glory, and prevent- 
 ed it from internal decay and foreign 
 violence. His renjoval from Parlia- 
 ment at this time seems an almost 
 irreparable loss. Champion. 
 
 Peace be with his infirmities, and 
 blessings on his memory for all the 
 good he did us with his strength! 
 
 Examiner, 
 
 " Had he but lived, in spite of power, 
 A watchman on the lonely tower, 
 His tlirilliug trump had roused the land 
 When fraud or danger was at hand ; 
 By ii, as by the beacon light. 
 The pilot should keep course aright. 
 Now is (he stately column broke. 
 The beacon-light is quenched in smoke» 
 The trumpet's silver sound is still. 
 The warder silent on the hill !" 
 
 William the Conqueror, 
 
 FEW princes have been more fortu* 
 nate than William, surnamed the Con- 
 queror, or were better entitled to pros- 
 perity and grandeur, for the abilities 
 and vigour of mind which he displayed 
 in all his conduct. His spirit was bold 
 and enterprising, yet guided by pru- 
 dence. His ambition, which was 
 exorbitant, and lay little under the 
 restraints of justice, and still less under 
 those of humanity, ever submitted to 
 the dictates of reason and sound po- 
 licy. Born in an age when the minds 
 of men were intractable, and unac- 
 quainted with submission, he was yet 
 able to direct then! to his purposes; 
 and partly from the ascendant of his 
 veUeinent disposition, partly from art
 
 70 Lilerury Curiosilka, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 and disinmlation, to establish an un- 
 limifed luoiiarchy. Though not in- 
 sensible to generosity, he was harden- 
 ed .jjiainst compassion, and seeiued 
 equally ostentatious and ambitious o( 
 eclat in his cicmeiicy, and in hii 
 severity. 
 
 The maxims of his administration 
 were severe; but might have beei. 
 useful, had they been solely emplojed 
 in preserving order in an established 
 j^overnn:5enl: they were ill calculatui 
 for soflei.ing the rigours, which, under 
 the most gentle management, are in- 
 separable from conquest. HisatlempI 
 against Englaijd was the last great 
 enterprise of the kind, which, during 
 the course of stven hundred years, 
 lias fully succeeded in Europe; and 
 the force of his genius broke through 
 those limits, which first the feudal 
 insinuations, then the relined policy of 
 }>iinc<s, have fixed to tlie several states 
 of Christendom. 
 
 Though he rendered himself infi- 
 nitely odious to his English subjects, 
 he tiansmitted his power to posterity, 
 and the throne is still tilled by his de- 
 scendants : a proof that the founda- 
 tions which he laid were firm and so- 
 lid, and that amid all Jiis violence, 
 while he setnied only to gratify the 
 present passion, he had still an eye 
 tnward futurity. His stature was tall, 
 and the composition of his bones and 
 muscles uncommonly strong : there 
 was scarcely a man of that age, who 
 could bend his bow, or handle his 
 ijrms. He died September Q, lIvS7, 
 azed 60. 
 
 Loss and no Lo.-^f. 
 
 QUEEN Bess once in council was given to 
 
 know, 
 Tliat a corps of her cavalry fled from the 
 
 fot; 
 But in telling the tale, it came out iinawarts 
 That the troops were ail Taylors, and 
 
 mounted oil Marts; 
 Nay then, cries the Queen, let (lie rogues 
 
 run away, 
 Since I neither have lost ilan nor Horse in 
 
 the fray ! 
 
 The Well-timed Hint. 
 
 ONE day when in preaching, a text-sjiin- 
 
 niag spiuk. 
 The whole length of his body reach'd over 
 
 the clerk, 
 And stretching his necL, like a garae ccck 
 
 infighting, 
 Inveigh 'd against chousing, and cheating, 
 
 and biting; 
 Mosey turn'd np his head, and said, "Sir. 
 
 while you're preaching, 
 " '^Jongst all other crimes you forget oitr- 
 
 r caching." 
 
 The Retort Picquanf, 
 
 A PLAIN bluff citizen, recently 
 returning Irom his annual trip to Alar- 
 gate, and not chusing to venture by 
 the hoy, very prudently took his pas- 
 sage on the upptr story of a stage- 
 coach, and thus humbled hiniself by 
 exaltation; for nothing so decidedly 
 settles the quality of a traveller with 
 the innkeepers tmd coack-uioners as 
 the price a man chuses to pay for his 
 journey. It is even considered as u 
 lii;^h insult to the aristocratical dig" 
 niti/ of the inside passengers, if any 
 of the living luggage from the top 
 should intrude upon them at meals. 
 Ill this predicament the honest citizen 
 louiid himself, when the vehicle stop- 
 ped for supper at Rochester. The 
 night was cold, his appetite keen; 
 and, conscious of the rhino to pay his 
 way, he entered the feeding room, 
 where the inside company were at 
 supper, and began lo unmutfle him- 
 self forlhe repast. The guests slared 
 at him as if he had been a rhinoeeros. 
 At last a jvrf young bacrisler, allircd 
 in bkck, stepped up to him, and, with 
 a supercilious air, asked him, " Pray 
 are }ou tlie coachman '<" " No," an- 
 swered the other, " pray are \ou the 
 guard?" " No, sir," replied the 
 quizzer, " why should you take me 
 for the guard?" "Nay, I ask your 
 pardon," rejoined the cit, *' I thought 
 you might have been the guard, from 
 Ihe colour of your coat ; lor I under- 
 stand several black-guards go with 
 the coaches on this roail."
 
 I/} feres fins: Nnrrafkef!, Enigmas^ Epigrams, Poetry^ 9i^c. 71 
 
 A short Correnpondcnee between Parson 
 and Patron. 
 
 LORD S— dw — ch (hus wrote (o his Chap- 
 Iain one day, 
 
 *' Dear Tom, would you leave ofl" to preach 
 and to pray, 
 
 *■' And bishop-like sit in your sinecure 
 chair, 
 
 *' Take Miss *" oflTmy hand>>, and her set- 
 tlement share ; 
 
 " Each ypar -shall a leash of good hundreds 
 supply, 
 
 " And in clover you'll wallow you rogue 
 till you die. 
 
 " Bill il' you're determined to cross my in- 
 tent, 
 
 " Pray don'l TAKK amiss, what, by •••,is 
 
 WELL :NrEAVTj" 
 
 Thisfriendly proposal, the parson refusing, 
 
 An answer thus pean'd, for his patroB':> pe- 
 rusing: 
 
 " My lord, the great good which to me you 
 extend, 
 
 *' ily pride, ft shall be, to proclaim, with- 
 
 Ot!T END ! 
 
 " And your friendship exalted so mgch I 
 
 regard, 
 " That I hope it will meet an exalted ee- 
 
 WARD ! 
 
 '• While your wish I reject, tho' depend 
 
 upon this, 
 " 'Tis compli'd with so far, as to — not take 
 
 A MIS8.'' 
 
 TTie Unwelcome Rencountre. 
 
 A WELL-KNOWN character inlhe 
 annals of the turf of the name of 
 CI — ke, otherwise V'auxhall Clarke, 
 whose son was executed some years 
 back for shootms at a sheritT's oflicer, 
 atfendcd according to custom at a 
 late Ascot races, where no less a per- 
 son then the P .R -t himself 
 
 ■was also present. During the inter- 
 val between two races, the above-men- 
 tioned Mr. CI — ke, who is not poS'«cs- 
 sedofany of those soiier sentiments 
 that characterise tiic frequenters of 
 a drawing roam , rather abruptly sta- 
 ted, that lie wanted to spesik to his 
 R II s, but was inform- 
 ed that such conduct was indecorous, 
 and would not be complied with; not- 
 withstanding which he stiU persisted, 
 
 until the D ofY k observing 
 
 the pertinacity of Mr. CI— ke, pror 
 
 eectied to expostulate with him, but 
 all to no purpo-c, for it appears that 
 
 11 1 artinments have no more 
 
 effect upon sporiing mei>, than the rea- 
 -oninsz of the commonest plebeian ; 
 for the character in question, far 
 
 from utteiidin;:; to the D , rocrfc- 
 
 rated aloud, '' Don't tell me indeed, 
 about not speaking to the Pr — e ; 
 I will speak to the Pr — e;yes I will 
 speak to him!! — I say." Perseve- 
 rance is allowed to be the most effec- 
 tive weapon that can be used in com- 
 pas'-ing any end tnat may be desired, 
 whcli was fully vciified in the present 
 instance: for Mr. CI — ke, in defiance 
 of all impediments, at length found 
 I himseJfin the presence of the dignified 
 personage he was so desirous of seeing. 
 
 The Pr e on beholding this old 
 
 blade of the turf, exclaimed. " Ally 
 C — ke, what arc you there? how do 
 yon do!" — " Pretty well, thank 
 
 your R 1 H s; I hope that 
 
 youar^ the same !" answered the blunt 
 son ef Nirnrod, who finding that all 
 was MUM upon the subject which 
 most affected his feelings, thus conti- 
 nued, after a few minutes' pause ; " / 
 
 say, your R / // s, when am 
 
 I to be paid the hundred pounds, 
 which f won of you four years back, 
 IV hen I betted ivitk you against the 
 field}" This blunt query produced 
 an awkward sensation in the mind of 
 the personage so addressed, who hav- 
 ing stated his surprise that the ho-' 
 norablc debt in question was not can- 
 celled, concluded by saying, that the 
 matter should be looked into, and it 
 the demand was correct, the money 
 should be forthcoming, " Why your 
 H -s knov.'s it is right," answer- 
 ed Mr. C — ke ; *' and it is high time 
 that a foirr years' sporting debt should 
 be discharged !" Thus terminated 
 this laconic converzatione, which is 
 shrewdly surmised to have acted as 
 a preventative to the attendance of the 
 
 1^ 1 visitant p.t the following 
 
 day's races* 
 
 U
 
 72 Ljittrary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Assassins. 
 
 THE attempts made upon his 
 Majesty's life were attended with 
 some remarkable incidents. In 1786, 
 a poor disordered female assaulted 
 him with a knifo while in the act of 
 receiving a petition from her; on that 
 occasion the Spanish ambassador 
 with great presence of mind, hastened 
 to Windsor, and contrived lo engage 
 the queen in an interesting convei- 
 sation till the arrival of his majesty, 
 in person, prevented any alarm which 
 might have been excited by a prema- 
 ture disclosure of the circumstance. 
 For this considerate act his Excel- 
 lency was ever afterwards highly es- 
 teemed at the British court, and 
 treated with particular mark> of 
 friendship on his returning to Spain. 
 In 1800, two desper/ite attacks were 
 made upon the sovereign in one day, 
 that in the morning was in tiie park 
 at a review, when two bullets were 
 fired at the king, but, missing him, 
 entered the thighs of a young gen- 
 tleman who stood near him, and very 
 nearly deprived him of life. It is 
 somewhat extraordinary that no pro- 
 vision was made for this person who 
 had so narrow an escape, who by 
 the accident was deprived of his 
 situation in a public office, and who, 
 from the nature of his wounds must 
 necessarily be a sufferer to the end 
 of his days. That same evening, a 
 maniac as it was proved, fired a pis- 
 tol into the king's box at the theatre, 
 just as the monarch entered, but hap- 
 pily without effect. When his Ma- 
 jesty took leave of his family that 
 night, he said, "I am going to bed, 
 with a coiilidence Ihat I shall sleep 
 soundly; and my prayer is, that the 
 poor unhappy prisoner who aimed at 
 my life may rest a> quietly as I shall." 
 
 A Grammarian's Advice. 
 
 WHEN njrtn and wife at odds fall out, 
 
 Let Syntax he your tutor; 
 5Tv»'h:( mascnlinc and feminine, 
 
 WLat vbouM one b« bwl neuUr? 
 
 Provident Cookery. 
 
 IN onr gains and our losses, our pleasures 
 
 and toils, 
 The old cnniinon question is " How the pot 
 
 boils ?" 
 And as once whea the riots io London ran 
 
 high, 
 'Twas decreed that some few (to gave thou- 
 sands) niUiit die, 
 One of Gordon's good friends asked an old 
 
 loyal Scot, 
 Half-sneeringly, "Howboil'dlhe national. 
 
 Pot ?•' 
 "Why glide troth," says Donald, " atweta 
 
 me and you, 
 .Malcontent-i are cot iniul a domnable stew. 
 And you'll find it's contents, mun, will not 
 
 content some, 
 For the broth is preserved by reducing the 
 
 SCL'M." 
 
 The following Epitaph is copied from a 
 Tomb-stone placed in St. Martin's hury- 
 iny-ground, Stamford, Lincolnshire, to 
 the memory of the well-known Daniel 
 Lambert: 
 
 '• IN remembrance of that prodigy of 
 nature, Daxieij LAMnE»T, a native of Lei- 
 cester, who was possessed of an excellent 
 and convivial mind, and in personal great- 
 ness he had no competitor. He measured 
 three feet, one inch, round the leg; nine 
 feet four inches roand (he body, and weighed 
 5i stone, 11/6. (14/6. lo Ihe stone). He 
 departed this life on the 2Utof Juue IS09, 
 aged 30 years. As a testimony of respect, 
 (his stone is erected by bis friends in Leices> 
 ter." 
 
 On Peter Wilson, xdHo was droicned, 
 
 PETF.R was in the ocean drown'd, 
 A careless, hapless creature I 
 
 And when his lifeless trunk was found, 
 It was become .salt-Peter ! 
 
 New Lores of the Plants. 
 
 OH ! where is the wonder the flow 'ret has 
 
 perii'h'd, 
 While yet we the spring of its loveliness 
 
 cherish 'd. 
 Since the Primrose was ever most .^forward 
 
 and g.iy. 
 And alw ays abandoned its charms to Mild* 
 
 may. 
 
 Fashion — an Impromptu. 
 
 THETR bosoms, legs, and arms to shew, 
 TI.e modish belles now venture — 
 
 Fashion, strip on — fig-leaves iu.»j' d» 
 To jj^irdltt ruuud the eeutrw.
 
 Interesting Narralrces, En!s:oiav, Epirrmns, Poetri/, S,c. 73 
 
 The old Usurer detected. 
 A CEPvTAlX well known usnr > 
 was lately ai»})lied to bv au officer .>ii 
 half-pay, (ot the sum of two liuiulr 'I 
 anil tifty pounds. After a vtry nic^ 
 scrutiny into the otiicer's character, 
 and that of his two bondsmen, and 
 an agreement for fifteen pounds per 
 cent interest, the ni-')ney was advanced 
 for a stipulated time Ti i^ last |)arl 
 of the business beim; tr;m'^a"tcd at the 
 otiicer's own house, old FoL'rmn, th<- 
 usurer, had the opportunity of seein;; 
 the cnptain's ladv, who was sprii^htly, 
 delicate, and beautiful— Me saw Ikt. 
 and was smitten. She soon perrcist ij 
 it, and could not help smiliii-^ at th<- 
 power of her charms, and the usurer'^ 
 young tooth. Her smiles he vainly 
 interpreted for a sign of reciprocal 
 atilction from her, to his own dear 
 person. He took his leave with nnich 
 reluctance, but not without invitini; 
 himself thtre another day. Tlie cap 
 tain and his two friends, not su^pfct- 
 iivj, his secret motive, were niuJi 
 surprised, thouoh not a little plensed 
 at his free, and secmin::ly friendls 
 behaviour; more particularly from a 
 man of lii^ profession. The captain 
 told him, the house should be at his 
 service whenever he chose to make 
 Hse of it. They then took leave for 
 a time, and Ff»grum went home to 
 put up his bond with others of the 
 like kind. 
 
 He now set himself to other buM- 
 ness, but no business whatever could 
 keep the idea of the captain's dear 
 beautiful lady out of his heart. We 
 may wonder that a Change Alley 
 broker's heart sliould be suscej)tible 
 of any thing but self-interest; but it 
 is possible, for according to Virgil : 
 
 " In earth, and sea below, and liquid realnas 
 
 above, 
 " Love conquers all, and all most yield to 
 
 love." 
 
 It was not two days before Fogrum 
 paid the captain and his lady a visit, 
 
 by whom l:e was most gent<'ely enter- 
 tained. The laciy ha 1 a fine voice, 
 md could sing with pec uliar judgment; 
 the usurer was now doubly capiivated, 
 and he wtnt home in better humour, 
 than ever he had been blessed with 
 iiis whole life befoie. He dreamed 
 of her that night, and thought of 
 nothioL' ehe next day. He repeated 
 his visits so often, th it he frequently 
 found tlic husband abroad. He took 
 that o])p(nlunily to declare his passion, 
 "'he received it witli seeming surprise, 
 hut not with too great re>ervedness. 
 She made him believe, that neitheii 
 his persi>ii nor his passion were dis- 
 agreeable to her; but her honour, slie 
 said, would not suffer hrr to comply. 
 He then began to plav the old man's 
 laet and hiost poW' rful artillery on 
 her, viz. otiers of money ; but that 
 she Wis also proof against, )et gave 
 him all other liberties that man couid 
 desire from woman. Tliis inflamed 
 liim the more; his soul was on the 
 rack to enjoy her. F^ove and wine 
 soon robbeil him of his reason. He 
 gra<;ped her to his arms, and throw- 
 iiii; her o:) a sofa, was proceeding to 
 f rce — Siie scrt;imed out for help — 
 \t that instant the captain and one of 
 Ids friends uncxpecte<ily came in — the 
 husband, enraged at so nnhx.ked for 
 ,i scene, drew his sword, and nonld 
 have finished old Fogruni's da\s, had 
 n t his friend interposed. He, h «w- 
 ever, threatened him with an action 
 of five hundrwl pounds, for the as- 
 sault, and attempt to commit a rape. 
 To add to the usurer's distress, the 
 lady's gold repeating watch was mis- 
 sing, and they, on searching him, 
 found it in his coat pocket. At ttiis, 
 iie was, if possible, more thunder- 
 struck than before. Tl)ey were now 
 soing to send for a magistrate, but 
 the servant-maid confessed that she 
 had, in a joke, conveyed it into his 
 •locket, during lier attendance in the 
 lOom at tea time. Old Fogrnni Kt 
 last thought himself extremely bapi)y 
 
 1 L
 
 Ti LHcrary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 to redeem himself from this trouble- 
 some affiiir, by not ouly surrendering 
 up the captain's bond, but giving him 
 also a note of his own for one huii- 
 dred pounds, to forbear all proceed- 
 ings at law. 
 
 A lamentable Fact. 
 
 A YOUNG wonyan of Glassjow, 
 about twenl)'-iive jears since, havinu 
 tlie misfortune to become a molher 
 before she was a wife, and at so 
 early an age as fourteen years, for 
 the better concealment of her unlucky 
 situation, retired to Edinburgh to \y 
 in, where she was deliv<red of a boy. 
 The lad, at the age of twelve years, 
 cither from a disposition incapable of 
 submitting to the controul of hi^ 
 guardians, or the severity of his pre- 
 ceptor, ran away from school, nor 
 could any tidings of him be afterwards 
 obtained. — The motlier, in the mean 
 time, set up a house in Gla;>gow, for 
 the reception of boarders, to which 
 the better sort of sailors in the mer- 
 chants' service gener?.lly resorted. A 
 young man of about twentv-two years 
 of age, master of a West-India vessel, 
 happened to take up his abode willi 
 her, and in a short tinie, by his at- 
 tractions and assiduitv, aw;ikened a 
 flame in the breast of his landlady; 
 a mutual attachment ensued, which 
 was cemented by matrimony. The 
 happy couple lived together for three 
 \ears, without interruption to their 
 domestic iVlicity, each year producing 
 them a child, as the reward of their 
 conjugal lidelity ; when one morning 
 (some time since) the husband put- 
 ting on liis shirt in the presence of his 
 wife, s!ie discovered a mark on his 
 ihouldtr, by which she knew him !<• 
 he her h)ng lost son. She instantly 
 became iVantic, and si izing him by 
 liie hair, tore him to the ground ; her 
 niiuiiiess supplying her with slreiigih, 
 s'le wo'ild jirobably have destroyed 
 him, lud uot his cries procured him 
 
 the assistance of some of the family. 
 She afterwards, however, recovered 
 reason sufficient, to give ati almost 
 unintelligible account of the melan- 
 choly circumstance that bereft her of 
 her senses, and then relapsed into an 
 incurable delirium. The consecpjenres 
 of an eclaircissement have also been 
 equally fital to the unhappy son and 
 husband, whose reast^n is entirely 
 overturned, and of wliom there re- 
 mains not even the most distant hope 
 of recovery. 
 
 New Ladij'n Magazine, Sept. llStt. 
 
 ]Mal-Entendu. 
 
 TH.\T a man may be a worthy 
 magistrate, and vet know nothing of 
 Latin or Greek, is a truism constantly 
 evinced by many of our wor.shipful 
 vffg-f* at fiuildhall. One of the mo.st 
 worthy an'd humane of these, but 
 who, unfortumitely, is a little hard 
 of hearing, had brought bifore him 
 an unfortmiate Scotch tutor who had 
 been making rather too free over night 
 with Whitbread's JJrriis/i Fatcrnian, 
 and was found by the watch *' recu- 
 bans sub te'j;;nnne Jd^^i," or, in plain 
 English, drunk and fast asleep m)der 
 a porter's pitching-block in the street. 
 The constable of the night having 
 stated his charge, the worthy magis- 
 trate put the usual question — " Well, 
 my friend, what have you to say for 
 yourself.?" Sandy boo'd, but reckon- 
 ing on his learning as a certain pro- 
 tection against tie consequence of his 
 frailty, he addressed the magistrate 
 in a penitent tone and Edinburgh ac- 
 cent — " Ma lord, fm an un fort' nit 
 inon, tes true ; but, — Nemo inortidi- 
 
 UWJOMNIBIS HOORIS S.\UP1T." 
 
 '1 he worthy aldeiman stared. — 
 "Ell! what! What's that h> savs 
 about wh — s in a sawp'Ul Harkee, 
 my good friend ! sawpds are very im- 
 proper places for you to go into with 
 such company. I'll discharge you tor 
 this time; but never come here agaii* 
 with such u story."
 
 Jnteresiins: Narratives, Eni[^nms, Epigrams, Poetry, S;c. 75 
 
 Funeral Cei'tmonies observed at Xtip/es. 
 
 A GENTLEMAN prestnt at the 
 funeral of an old tislieriiiaii at Naples, 
 gives tlie following account of tlie 
 O'leniofiies att»n<lii)g it : — Tiie action^ 
 of the widow were so oxcrstrained «> 
 to be tiul\ ridicnluus: she tore oH'lin 
 liair and clolhes, and \elled in tlir 
 most hidi'oiis manner, till her step- 
 sons appeared to t;il\e possession of 
 tlie goods ; she then turned her liirv 
 uponthiiii, and beat them out of the 
 house. The priests n<ixv came for tiie 
 bodv, and she opposed tiieir enlrv for 
 a decent length of lime; but at last, 
 sutleriiig herself to be overpowert-d 
 by numbers, tiew to the window with 
 her daughters and her mother (who, 
 from having outlived many relations, 
 had scarce a hair left on her head) 
 and I lit I e beat her bieast, scratcln d 
 her cheeks, and threw whole hamlsful 
 of hair tovvards the bier, x\ilh the 
 frantic gestures of a dmioniac. The 
 j)roces.si')ii was no sooner out of sight 
 ifian all was quiet; aiid in five nii- 
 intte«, I heard them laughing and 
 dancing about the room, as if re- 
 joicing to be rid of the old churl. 
 
 In some parts of the country, if is 
 a rule to frtst the whole day of the in- 
 ternnnt. Two women, in a village 
 near Salerno, mo her and daughter of 
 a farmer, at whose removal from the 
 liuuse, they had acted their part v\ilh 
 great applause, locked themselves up, 
 and ill order to recover strength after 
 the fatigue they had undergone, began 
 in detiance of custom, to fry s(<me 
 piects of tripe for their dinner. As 
 ill luck would have it, a couple of re- 
 lalion<:, who, living at a great <lis- 
 taiice, had « ome too late for the ceie- 
 niony, knocked at the door, to pa\ 
 their respects to the disconsolate wi- 
 dow. Great was tie dilJicuIty they 
 found in gaiiiing admittance: all the 
 paiade of grief was again displa>ed, 
 the dinner slipped into a napkin, and 
 hid under the bed, and nothing iieard 
 
 ill the room but groans and lamenta- 
 tiins. The strangers entered with 
 c(Uiiposed mien, and were endeavour- 
 ing, with little success, to administer 
 comfort to their unhappy kinswdman, 
 when behold! a dog iliey had brought 
 with them winded the fry, and drag- 
 ueil it out into the mid<lle of the floor, 
 to the f,'reat scandal of the visitors, 
 and the utter confusion of the mourn- 
 ers, whose reputation was irretriev- 
 ably ruined in the esteem of the whole 
 parish. 
 
 Anecdote of the Earl of Soulfiamplon. 
 
 WHEN Spencer had finished his 
 famous poem of the IV.iry Queen, he 
 carried it to the Ei'.rl of Southampton, 
 the great patron of the poets of those 
 (lays. The iiiaiiuscnpt being sent up 
 to the Earl, he read a few pai^es, and 
 then ordered his aervaiit to give the 
 writer twenty pounds. Reading on 
 he cried in a rapture, " carry that man 
 another twent\ pounds." Proceeding 
 still, he said, " give him twenty pounds 
 more." But, at length, he lost all 
 patience and said, "go turn that fel- 
 low out of the house, for if I read on 
 I shall be ruined." 
 
 j4 Challenge, 
 
 SIR, ur 
 
 stand u say me but as stand me 
 
 I I ur 
 
 I desire therefore, you'll meet me, 7 
 
 sword in hand 8 that our dift'ereuce 
 
 may be decided. 
 
 EiplanailoTi. 
 
 SIR, 
 I understand you say you are above 
 me; but, as I understand you are 
 beneath me, 1 desire therefore vou'll 
 meet me, sword in hand, between 7 
 imd 8; that our -difletence may bf 
 decided. 
 L 2
 
 76 Literan/ Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Evefils, 
 
 The Fukenham Ghost, 
 
 THE lawns were dry in Eustoti Park; 
 
 (Here truth * inspires my tale) 
 TlieJonely footpath, still and dark, 
 
 Led over hill and dale. 
 
 Beniffhted was an an<lent dame. 
 
 And fparful haste she made, 
 To gain the vale of Fakenham, 
 
 And iiail its willow shade. 
 
 Her footsteps knew no idle stops, 
 
 But follow 'd faster still; 
 And echo'd to the darksome copse 
 
 That wbisper'd on the hill; 
 
 Where ciam'rous rooks, yet scarcely btidh'd 
 
 Bespoke a peopled shade ; 
 And many a wing the foliage brush 'd, 
 
 And hov'ring circuits made. 
 
 The dappled herd of grazing deer 
 That sought the shades by day, 
 
 Now started from hc-r path with fear, 
 And gave the stranger way. 
 
 Darker it grew ; and darker fears 
 
 Came o'er her tronhled mind ; 
 When now, a short quick step she hears 
 
 Come patting close behind. 
 
 She tnrn'd ; it stopt ! nought could she see 
 
 Upon the gloomy plain ! 
 Bnt, as *he strove the sprite to flee. 
 
 She beard the same again. 
 
 Now terror sei7,'d her quaking frame; 
 
 For, wlipre the path wa-i hare, 
 The trotting ghost kept on the same! 
 
 She mutterd many a pray'r. 
 
 Yet once again, amidst her fright 
 She tried what sight could do ; 
 
 When through the cheating glooms of night 
 A MONSTER stood in view. 
 
 Regardless of whale'er she felt, 
 
 It follow'd down the plain ! 
 She cwn'd her sins, and down she knelt, 
 
 Aud said her pray 'rs again. 
 
 Then on she sped : and hope grew strong, 
 The white park gale in view ; 
 
 Which p.ishing hard, so long it swung 
 That Ghost aad all pass'd through. 
 
 Lend fell the gate against the post 1 
 
 Her heart-string;< like to crack : 
 Fop much she ftard liie grhtlv ghost 
 • Would leap upon her back. 
 
 Still on, pal, pal, the goblin went, 
 
 As it had done before : — 
 Her strength and resoiution spent, 
 
 ^Le fainted at the dour. 
 
 'This ballad is founded on a/act. 
 
 Out came herhnsb. nd, much surpris'd : 
 
 Out came her daughter dear: 
 Good-natnrd souls 1 all unadvised 
 
 Of what they had to fenr. 
 
 The candle's glf am pierc'd through the night. 
 Some short space o'er the green ; 
 
 And tliere the little trotting sprite 
 Distinctly night be seien. 
 
 An Ass*.i Foal had lost its dam 
 
 Within the spacious park ; 
 And simpleas the playful lamb. 
 
 Had foliow'd in the dark. 
 
 So goblin be; no imp of sin : 
 
 No crimes had ever kno.vn, 
 They took the shaggy stranger in, 
 
 And rear'd him as their own. 
 
 His little hoofs would rattle round 
 
 Upon the cottage floor: 
 The uiatrou learn d to love the sonnd 
 
 That frighten'd her before. 
 
 A favorite the ghost became; 
 
 And, "twas his fate to thrive ; 
 And long he liv'd and spread his fame, 
 
 And kept the Joke alive. 
 
 For many a laugh went through the vale; 
 
 And some conviction too : — 
 Each thought some other goblin tale, 
 
 I'erhaps, was just as true. 
 
 New Alphabet/or 1814. 
 
 A— STANDS for August, the month for 
 
 the shows, ' 
 C — fortbeEridgebuilt to frighten the crows; 
 I' — for Ihc Colonel, with genius so rare, 
 D— for the day when he makes ns all stare; 
 K — for the English who see this fine sight, 
 V — for the fire-works let olT at night ; 
 (i — for the grandeur those works did display 
 11 — for the hundreds we for them must pay; 
 .1 — for John Bull, just as biytheasa lark, 
 K — for the kick-sliaws built up in the Park; 
 L — for the long-boats our gala to crown ; 
 M — for the men whoconvey'd them totowa 
 X — for the noise which seem> never to stop ; 
 O— for the oil-skin o'er each Temple lop; 
 P — for the pov.der that's us'd by the fleet, 
 Q — for the queer ones that plann'd such a 
 
 treat ; 
 R — for the Regent, of all this the ^er, 
 -S — for the ships on the Serpentine River; 
 1 — for the Temples, of all town the talk, 
 V — lor the vessels afloat in the Piirk; 
 \V — for the wiuds;aud,oh, may they prove 
 
 fair, 
 X — for the crosses these vessels must bear; 
 V — for the youngsters this sight keeps from 
 
 school, 
 Z — for the zeal with which we play the fool.
 
 Interesting N'arratrces, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetrj/, <Sr. 7f 
 
 Singular Hoax on Roi/alty. 
 
 SOME time since a very elegant 
 note, signed, as it appeared by Col. 
 De-brow, and date<l Windsor, was re- 
 ceived by tiieconimiitecforpromotiii;: 
 subscription'^ rorthcGeinian sutferers. 
 and afloided tbe gentlemen asseni! I" ! 
 extraordinary delight ; it proteased to 
 present the thanks nt her Wajesiy the 
 Queen to tlic committee for tlieir un- 
 wearied exeition in behalf of her dl^- 
 tressed countiy-people, in whose mi- 
 series she took a tender and anxiou? 
 interest, and begged the connnittee to 
 accept of a subjoined order on lier 
 JNIaje-ty's banker, for the sum oftwo 
 thousand guineas, VVlien the rap- 
 ture produced by this communication 
 had in some degree subsided, it was 
 resolved that the circumstance shoull^ 
 be announced in the puMic prints 
 with suitable respect and eclat. One 
 gentleman, however, happened to be 
 involuntarily conscious of a wi-h that. 
 before they pioci'eded to publication, 
 evidence might be obtained of the va 
 lidity of the note: he expressed hi.« 
 feelings, but they were unanimously 
 scouted; he determined, however, 
 that investigation should take place, 
 before further notoriety should be 
 given to the royal munificence. Ap- 
 plication was then made at the bank- 
 er's ; nothing was known of the order 
 or the cash in that direction, and on 
 subsequent application to one of the 
 royal family, the whole was discover- 
 ed to be ail imimdent hoax. 
 
 Stat sua Cuique dies. 
 
 APRIL the first stands marked by custom's 
 rules 
 
 A day for being, and for making fools ; 
 
 Bat pray what eastern, or what rule sup- 
 plies — 
 
 A day for making, or for being wise » 
 
 The Melon. 
 HOW the present times are foand I 
 
 A theme all classes dwell ou ; 
 When Coutts can give ten thousand pounds. 
 
 To taste a single Mellon I 
 
 A Sleeping IValchman. 
 
 SOUND sleeps yon guardian of the night. 
 The hours uucall'd — youth's rest not 
 sweeter; 
 " I thought he was a watch" — " you're 
 rii'.ht,— 
 But a slop watch, not a repealer." 
 
 On the Death of the Hottentot Venus at 
 Paris. 
 
 THE J'cnus of .17ef/»c;".« scarcely has flown. 
 When Paris alas ! vuur next Venus is gone, 
 
 And no end lo your losses you find. 
 Well nidy you in sackclolii and ashet' 
 
 deplore, 
 For they,;rmcr fair form had n ,> equal before, 
 
 Aud the iiittcr no equal bc'.iind. 
 
 A good Hint well taken. 
 
 Mr.. B. better known as Beatt 
 B , beino prebcnt where the Prince Re- 
 gent was visiting, as his Royal High- 
 ness was standing near the bell-pull, 
 he thought pioper to request that the 
 I'riace '' would be good enouiih to 
 touch the bell," and on the apoear- 
 ancc of the servant who asked U)r or- 
 ders, the Prince coolly >.aid, " Oh, 
 Mr. B.'b carriage is wanted." The 
 carnage, came, and the forward beaa 
 took the hint and letired. 
 
 BILLY Snip went to skate, where, the i^ 
 being looje, 
 He fell ifl ; but was sav'd by good lucki 
 Cried the tailor, •' I'ii never more leave my 
 hot goose. 
 To receive, in return, a cold duck." 
 
 Peter Pindar. 
 
 SOME years ago when his Majes- 
 ty was very unwell, some one expres- 
 sed his regret to Peter Pindar ; to 
 whom the poet replied," Ah Sir, if he 
 docs not recover }ou willlo'^ea good 
 King, and I a good subject." 
 
 In Stolidum. 
 
 1 JUSTICE walking o'er the frozenThame*, 
 The ice about hliii round began to cracity 
 
 He said to bis man, here is sonic danger^ 
 James ; 
 I prithee help me over on thy back.
 
 T8 IJlernry Cnriosilies^ Epitaphs^ fVonderful Events^ 
 
 Escape of Johmton, the Smvggkr, 
 frvm the fhel Prison. 
 
 THIS advcirurcus and extraordi- 
 nary ni-in, wlin, many jears ago, 
 made a mo^t dtsperale es-Ciij'e from 
 the Boroufjii J»il. •» the middle of the 
 day, found jr.eaus, in a manner stili 
 more diriicnlt, lhoui:h less desperate, 
 of escapinu fmm the Fleet Prison, 
 gome time after. 
 
 Johnston, when in the Boronch 
 Jail, was about to he tried for his lilc, 
 in consequence of a darinu resistance 
 made to some Revenue OHicers on the 
 Sussex coast. He was, alter tliaf, an 
 outlaw, and liable to be executed if 
 taken, when the expedition atiainsl 
 Holland was |ilaiiHed, in 17.99; I'"' 
 by means of his kno\sledj;e of the 
 Dutch coast, and the services he then 
 ofl'ered lo Government, a pardon was 
 obtained, and he hi'.s been frequently 
 since in this country. 
 
 Having contracted considerable 
 debts, lie was arrested and bailed, 
 but coming forward to exonerale his 
 bail, was taken ami rendered to New- 
 gate, from whence he nmved himself 
 to the Fleet, with detainers to the 
 amoiuit of about 3,000/. against him. 
 
 He remained there, like other pri- 
 soners tor debt, till several Revenue 
 Officers (six) came up to town to re- 
 cognize him as the principal of a band 
 of snmgglers, by whom ti.ey had been 
 attacked, and who had t'elt both the 
 force of his arms and of his ingenuity. 
 The Ofiicers were completely frustra- 
 ted in tlieir capture ; but, except one. 
 Done amoi:<»).t them would venture to 
 .swear to the iilentity of Johnston, he 
 had so completely changed his appear- 
 ance. 
 
 On the deposition of this one person, 
 he was, however, about to be remov- 
 e<l to Newgate, in order to take his 
 trial, and, in the mean time, was se- 
 cured in a strong room, wliirh is set 
 apart for refractory and dani;erous 
 pri&oneis. iji this strong room he bad 
 
 been several weeks, and was soon to 
 have been removed to Newgate, pre- 
 vious to taking his trial at the Old 
 Bailey ; but whcntlay-light appeared, 
 a 7-ope ladder was discovered suspend- 
 ed from the top of the wall of the 
 Fleet into the market, and an alarm 
 was ^iven of an escape. 
 
 Cn examining, it was fonnd that 
 soHie thick wooden pannels over the 
 dot r of the strong room had been cut 
 oaf, and that Johnston was absent. 
 A small patent sash-line had, it ap- 
 pears, been thrown ov<r the wall, 
 with a weight allacheil to the end of 
 it, by s(Hne person or persons on the 
 outside. Ry this small rope he had 
 mounted to the top of the wall, which 
 is near 40 feet high, and on the top of 
 which is all along an iron chtraux de 
 frize, which turns upon a centre, and 
 presents sharp and lonj; iron spikes in 
 every direction. Three of those 
 spikes were cut off at the place wheic 
 tlie rope passed over ; but liow, or by 
 whom they could be cut, or wrested 
 off, it is dilhcult to conceive, as it 
 \\asan operation that must either have 
 required a considerable time, or a 
 great exertion of force, and the situa- 
 tion is very inconvenient for employing 
 either the one or the other. 
 
 There is a watchman on the inside 
 of the wall, w hose duty it is to patrole 
 the giound all night, and who is never 
 supposed to be long absent from any 
 part of so narrow circumscribed an 
 inclosure. . 
 
 The watchman was imprisoned on 
 juspiciGn ; and it was thoudit that 
 Johnston must have bad son>e friends 
 within the prison, as he undoubtedly 
 had w ithotit the wall. To cut out the 
 ftannel from over the door ol the 
 strong room nmst have been a work 
 of time and labour, and even the 
 escape through the apeiture was not 
 1 very easy matter : ail this, however, 
 was accomplished without the least 
 alarm beuig givm. 
 
 Lett's JiCAStn^jcr, December C, ISO'i.
 
 Tnteresling Narratives, Enigmas, r.pigrnms^ Poetrrj, S,'c. 79 
 
 Ante lote of Dr. Samxiel Johnson. 
 
 ' BV tiie end of tlie vfar 1754, Di 
 Jolinson liail coinpleteil tlie copy of 
 his nictioiiary, not more to his own 
 ease and sa;i>fiiction, ihan to the jo\ 
 of Millar, the bookseller, the princi 
 pal proprietor of tiie work, and the 
 guardian or treasurer of the ftind, out 
 of whicii liie payments were from time 
 to tinie issued. To say llie truth, hi^ 
 joy on this occasion was so iireat, tiia! 
 he could not refrain from expiessini; 
 it soiiK'Mhut inl'Muperately, as appears 
 from tite l<illi>\\iii^ atlvnowled^nient 
 of the rectij)! of the last sheet of the 
 manuscript. 
 
 " Aiulrew Miliar sends iiis compli- 
 ments to Mr. San:uel Johnson, witii 
 the money, for the last sheet «d" cop\ 
 of the Dictionary, unci thanks God he 
 has done with him." 
 
 To which Johnson returned this good 
 humoured and brief answer : 
 
 " Sanmel Jt)hns<)n returns his com- 
 pliments to Mr. Andrew Millar, and 
 is very glad to fuid. as he does by hi;- 
 note, that Andrew Millar has thegraco 
 to thank God foranv thinj;." 
 
 On a MistT. 
 
 IRON' was his chesf, 
 Iron Ma« his door, 
 
 His band was iron, 
 Hi8 heart was more. 
 
 The JoUoiring is a literal Extract of 
 a private Loiter from a Quaker in 
 the Country to his Friend in Town. 
 
 *' Friend Jonx, — T desire thee to 
 be so kind as lo go to one of those 
 sinful men in the Jit sh, cajlefl an at- 
 terney, and let him take out an in- 
 strument with a seal fixed thereunto, 
 by means « hereof we niav seize the 
 outward tabernacle of Timothv Ed::- 
 son, and bring hin) before the sheep- 
 ihiii men at Westminster, and teach 
 hinj to do as he 7/ culd he done by. — 
 And so I rest thv Friend in thelis;f't, 
 " Z. B. M. Grettham, Ruiknd." 
 
 In dr/ence of the Lndien' present Evening 
 Drense-s. 
 
 WHnN dressed for the evening, »he girls 
 now -a il;»\ «, 
 Scarce an atom of dress on lliem leave; 
 Nor blnoie thetn — lor wiiat is an cveninj 
 drees. 
 But a dress that is suited fur I've ? 
 
 The Rcsi(jned Husband. 
 
 •' .MiAS ! what will he do,'' said a wife 
 like lo die, 
 
 " \Vi:en IVilli, tin's bereft of his Nan?' 
 ' Consider not liim." vva> liie liUKhatid's reply 
 
 ' Irubl H'lUuivt, he'll do wliiil Le tun 1' 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 A DISPllTK liavin-j long subsisted 
 in a gentleman's f.nnily, between ilie 
 n-.aid and the coaclim iii, about fetch- 
 ing the cream i'uv breakfast ; the gen- 
 tleman one morning called them both 
 before him, that he might hear what 
 tiiey liad to say, an<i decide accord- 
 inx,ly. The mai(! pleaded, that the 
 coachman was lounging about the 
 kilciien the best part of the morning, 
 \ct he was so ill-nalured, he would 
 not fetcii the cream for htr, notwilli- 
 standing he saw she hud nut a moment 
 to spare. The coachman alleged it 
 was none of his business. — Wry well, 
 said the master; but pray what do 
 you call your business? to take care 
 of the horses, and clean and drive the 
 coach, replied Jehu.— You say right, 
 answered the master, and I do not 
 expect you to do more than I hireil 
 >ou for ; but this I insist on, that every 
 u) jrning before Ijreakfast, >ou get the 
 coarli rtadv, and drive the ma d lo 
 the farmer's for niflK, and I hope you 
 will allow thai to be part of your 
 busiuess. 
 
 The reason why Women have no Beards. 
 
 WHAT is the reason, pray, why the fair sex. 
 Possess no b^'urd, no beards their chins per- 
 plex ? 
 The reason's char, their itch for talk is snrh^ 
 A raaor would draw blood at evei-y touch.
 
 So Literary Curwsitiesy Epitapha, IVonderfiil Evenfs, 
 
 Singular Adventure of a British 
 Soldier, in North America. 
 
 IN the \ear 1779, when tiie war 
 with Am«'rica was ccno'uctcd with 
 great spirit upon that continent^ a di- 
 vision of the Biitish armv was en- 
 cainptfl on the banks of a river, and 
 in a pitvitioii so f.ivoured b^ nature^ 
 that it was difficult for any miliiarv 
 art to surprise it. War in America 
 was ratlier a species of hiinlins thnn 
 a regular c<nnpai^n. " If >ou fi_;ht 
 with art," said Wasliingtoii to his sol- 
 diers, "you are sure to be defeated. 
 Acquire fliscipliiie enough for retreat 
 and the uniformity of combined at- 
 tack, and your country wiM prove the 
 best of engineers." So true was the 
 maxim of the American General, that 
 the English soldiers had to contt-nd 
 with little else. Tiie Anieiicans h«d 
 incorporated the Indians into tluir 
 ranks, and had made them usi ful ii. 
 a species of war to winch llieir h.ibiis 
 of life had ))eculiarly l^-.ted tliem. 
 They sallied out of llieir iuiprnttriblf 
 forests and jtni<;les, and, with the r 
 arrows and tomahawks, committed 
 daily waste upon tlie British army, — 
 surprising their ccntinels, culting off 
 their btragglers, and e\en when the 
 alarm was given and pursuit coin- 
 menced, they fled with a swiftness 
 that the speed of cavalry could not 
 overtake, into rocks and' fasti.es<e>, 
 whither it was dangerous to follow 
 tiiem. 
 
 In order to limit as far as possible 
 this sj)ecies of war, in which then- 
 was so much loss and so little hnn .ur, 
 it was the custom with every re<;imer.l 
 to extend its outposts fo a great dis- 
 tance beyond the encampments; to 
 station centinels some niiles in t!:e 
 woods, and keep a constant guarti 
 round the main body, 
 
 A regiment of foot was at this time 
 stationed upon the confines of a 
 boundless Savann;\h. Its particular 
 tothce was to guatd evc-y avenue (.f 
 
 approach to the main body; the cen- 
 tinels, whose posts penetrated into the 
 \\onds, were supplied from the ranks, 
 and the service of this regin!ei>t was 
 thus more hazardous than that of any 
 oliier. Its loss was likewise great. 
 
 The centjiels were perpetually sur- 
 prised upon their posts by the Indians, 
 and were borne oft" their stations, 
 without communicating any alarm, or 
 being beard of after. 
 
 Not a trace was left of the manner 
 in whicli they had been conveyed 
 aw;iy, except that, upon one or two 
 occasions, a few drops of blood had 
 appeared upon the leaves which co- 
 vered the ground. Many imputed 
 this unaccountable disappearance to 
 treachery, •and suggested as an unan- 
 swerable argument, that the men thus 
 *.urprised might at least have fired 
 I heir muskets, and commimieated the 
 alarm to the contiguous posts. Oliiers, 
 ^vlio coidd not be brought to consider 
 it as treachery, were content to re- 
 ceive it as a mjstery which time would 
 unravel. 
 
 One milling, the centinels havin^^ 
 l)een stalioutd as usual over ni'^ht, the 
 <;nard went at sun ri?e to relieve a 
 pict which extended a considerable 
 distance into the wood. The centinel 
 was gone! The surprise was great; 
 but the circuniitimce had occurred 
 before. They left another man, and 
 
 ^'parted, wishing him better luck. 
 "You need not be afraid," said the 
 man with w irmth, "I shall not de- 
 sert !" The relief company returned 
 to the guard-house. 
 
 Th'- centinels were replaced every 
 '•>ur hours, and, at the ap);ointed 
 iiine, the guard again marcll^d to re- 
 lieve tlie post. To their inexpressible 
 . stonisliment, the nian was gone! — 
 
 riuy searched round the spot, but no 
 
 races could be found of his disap-i 
 ;)eiin!nrc. It was necessary that the 
 statii-n, from a stronger motive thiMi 
 vver, should not remain mioccnpied ; 
 rhfy \\ere compelled to leave another
 
 Interesti/ig Narraiivex, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poefri/, S;c. SI 
 
 man, and returned to l!ie sjnard-liouse. 
 The superstition ot the soldit-rs u;is 
 awakened, and the terror r^n through 
 the retjinient. Tiie colonel ueinif ap- 
 prised ol the occurrence, signified \\\^ 
 intention to accon^pany tlie f^nardj 
 when they relieved the ccniinel thf v j 
 had left. At the appoiiued time, they; 
 all marclied together; and again, to I 
 tluir unutterable wonder, they t'ouni! i 
 the post vacant, a;id the man none! j 
 Under these cirrnnislances, the co- ! 
 lone! iiesilated whether he slioidil 
 station a whole company on the spot, 
 or whether he should a^jin su!)niii 
 the post to a single centinel. The 
 cause of tl;e>>e repeated disappear- 
 ances of men, whose courage and 
 honesty were never suspected, must 
 be discovered; and it seemed not 
 Jikely tliat this discovery could be ob- 
 tiiincd by persislinjj in the old method. 
 Thn-e brave men were now lost to the 
 regiment, and to assiun the post to a 
 fourth, seemed nothing less tiian giv- ( 
 ing him up to destruction. The jioor 
 fellow whose turn it was to take the; 
 station, though a man in other respect? 
 of incomparable resolution, trembled \ 
 from head to foot. j 
 
 " 1 must do my duty," said he to 
 the office, " I know that; but I should 
 hke to lose my hfe with more credit." 
 
 " I will leave no man," said the | 
 colonel, " against his will." 
 
 A man immediately stept from the 
 ranks, and desired to take the post. 
 Kvery mouth commended his resolu- 
 tion. " I will not be taken alive," 
 said he, *' and you shall hear of me 
 on the least alarm. At all events I 
 will tire my piece if I hear the least 
 iioise. If a crow chatters, or a leaf t 
 iA\[s, you shall hear my musket. You ' 
 may be alarmed when nothing is the ; 
 matter; but you nmst take the chance ' 
 as the condition of the discovery." I 
 The colonel applauded his courage, | 
 and told him he would be rglit to fiie | 
 upon the least noise which was am-| 
 bisuou?. His comrades shook hands ' 
 
 with him, and left him with a me- 
 liiiicholy foreboding. The company 
 inarched back, ami waited the event 
 in the guardhouse. 
 
 An hour had elapsed, and every ear 
 was upon the rack for the discharge 
 of the musket, when, upon a sudden, 
 the report was heard. The guard 
 immediately marched, accompanied, 
 as before, by the colonel, and >ome 
 of the most experienced othcers of 
 the regiment. As they approached 
 the post, they saw the man advancing 
 towards tluMu, dragging another man 
 on the ground by the hair of his head. 
 Wlien they came up to him, it ap- 
 j)eared to be an Indian whom he had 
 shot. An explanation was inmiedi- 
 ateiy rccpiircd. 
 
 " I told your honour," said the 
 man, " that I should fire if I heard 
 the least noise. The resolution I had 
 taken has saved my life. I had not 
 been long on my post when I heard a 
 rustling at some short distance; I 
 looked, and saw tin American hog, 
 such as are common in the woods, 
 crawling along the ground, and seem- 
 ingly looking for nuts under the trees 
 and amouiist the leaves. As these 
 animals are so very conmion, I ceased 
 to consider it for some nnnutes; but 
 being on the constant alarm and ex- 
 pectation of attack, and scarcely 
 knowing what was to be considered a 
 real cause of apprehension, I kept my 
 eyes vigilantly fixed upon if, and 
 marked its progress among the trees; 
 still tliere was no need to give the 
 alarni, and my thoughts were directed 
 to danger from another quarter. It 
 struck me, however, as somewhat 
 singular to sec this animal makinu, by 
 a circuitous passage, for a thick cop- 
 pice immediately beliind my post. I 
 tlicrel(jre kept my eye more constantly 
 fixed upon it, and as it was now witliin 
 a few yards of the coppice, liesitatcd 
 whether I should not hie. My com- 
 raflcs, thought I, will laugh at me 
 for alarmin",' them by shooting a pig J
 
 82 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs^ Wonderful Etetils, 
 
 I had almost resolved to let it alone, 
 when just as it approached the thicket. 
 I thought 1 observed it give an un 
 usual spring. I no longer hesitated; 
 1 took my aim; discharged my piece, 
 and the animal was instantly stretched 
 before me with a groan which I con- 
 ceived to be that of a human creature. 
 I went up to it, and ju<lge my asto- 
 nishment, when I found that I had 
 killed an Indian! He had enveloped 
 himself with the skin of one of tl.'ese 
 wild hogs so artfully and completely, 
 his hands and feet were so entirely 
 concealed in it, and his gait and ap- 
 pearance were so exactly correspond- 
 ent to that of the animal's, that, im- 
 perfectly as they were always seen 
 through the trees and jingles, the dis- 
 guise could not be penetrated at a 
 distance, and scarcely discovered upon 
 the nearest aspect. He was armed 
 with a dagger and a tomahawk." 
 
 Such was the substance of this 
 man's relati«)n. Tiie cause of the dis- 
 appearance of the other centinels was 
 now apparent. The Indians, sheltered 
 in this disguise, secreted themselves 
 in the coppice, watched the moment 
 when they could throw it off; burst 
 upon the centinels without previous 
 alarm, and, too quick to give them 
 an opportunity to discharge their 
 pieces, either stabbed or scalped them, 
 and bore their bodies away, which 
 they concealed at some distance in the 
 Jeaves. The Americans gave then) 
 rewards for every scalp of an enemy 
 which they brought. 
 
 Quaint Conceit. 
 
 THE following quaint conceit of 
 one of our old writers on Queen Eli- 
 zabeth and Sn- Francis Drake, is per- 
 haps not generally known: 
 
 O NATURE! (o old Enjfland still 
 
 Continue tiiese mi^ialies; 
 Jttiil f;ive us for our lung.« such c^ueens, 
 
 J^ud for our Dux such Prakes. 
 
 The Modern Tipling Philosophers, 
 
 FATHER Hodge had his pipe and hisdraDi, 
 
 And at night, his cloy'd Ihirvl to awaken ; 
 He was served with a rasher of ham, 
 
 Which procured hi;n the surname of 
 Biicon. 
 He has shewn, that, though logical science. 
 
 And dry theory oft prove I'.nhandy, 
 Honest truth will ne'er set at defiance 
 
 Experiment aided by brandy. 
 
 Des Cartes bore a musttet, they tell us, 
 
 Ere he wish'd, or was able, to write, 
 And was noted among the brave fellows, 
 
 Who are bolder totipple than fight. 
 Of his system the cause and design 
 
 We no more can be posed to explain — 
 Thfl materia .lubtili.s was wfne, 
 
 And the vortices wbirl'd in his braiir. 
 
 Old Hobbes, as his name plainly shews. 
 
 At a hob-nob was frequently tried : 
 That all virtue from sellishness rose 
 
 He believed, and all laughter from pride. 
 The truth of this creed he would brag on, 
 
 Smotie his pipe, murder Huiu^, and 
 quaff ; 
 Then starting, as drunk as a dragon. 
 
 In the pride of his henrt he would laugh. 
 
 Sir Isaac discovered, it seems. 
 
 The nature of colors and light. 
 In remarking the tremulous beams 
 
 That swam on his wandering sight. 
 Ever sapient, sober though seldom, 
 
 From experience rt/<rrtc/«on he found. 
 By observing, when no one upheld him, 
 
 That h is wise head fell souse on the ground. 
 
 As to Berkley's philosophy — he has 
 
 Left his poor pupils nought to inherit. 
 But a swarm of deceitful ideas 
 
 Kept, like other monsters, in spirit. 
 Tar-drinkers can't think what's the matter, 
 
 That their health does not mead, but 
 decline: 
 Why, they take but some wine to their 
 water, 
 
 He took but some water to wine. 
 
 One Mandeviite once, or Man-devil, 
 
 (Either name yor may give as you please) 
 By a brain ever brooding on evil, 
 
 Hatch'd a monster caii'd FcJfte of Bees. 
 Vice, said he, aggrandizes a people ; 
 
 By this right let my conduct be view'd ; 
 I swagger, swear, guzzle, and tipple : 
 
 And tell ye 'tis all for your good. 
 
 D H nte a swins^ing great dinner. 
 
 And grew every day fatter and fatter; 
 
 And yet the luige bulk of a sinner 
 Said there was ueilber spirit nor matter.
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, 8fC. 83 
 
 Now there^sno sober man in the nation, 
 Who such nonsease coijld write, speak, 
 or think: 
 
 It follows, by fair demonstration, 
 That he philosophized in his drink. 
 
 As a smujTi^ler even P could sin, 
 
 Who, in hopes the poor ganger of fright 
 ening, 
 While he filled the case-bottles with gin. 
 Swore he fiM'd them with thunder and 
 lightning. 
 lo his cups, (when Locke's laid on theshelf) 
 Could he speak, he would frankly confess 
 loje. 
 That, unable to manage himself. 
 He puts his whole trust in necessity. 
 
 If the young in rash folly engage. 
 
 How closely contiunes the evil ! 
 Old Franklin retains, as a sage. 
 
 The thirst he acquired when a devil. 
 That charging drives lire from a phial, 
 
 Tt was natural for him to think, 
 After finding from many a trial, 
 
 That drought may be kindled by drink. 
 
 A certain high priest could explain. 
 
 How the soul is but nerve at the most ; 
 And bow Milton had glands in his brain, 
 
 That secreted the Paradise Lost. 
 And sure, it is what they deserve, 
 
 Of such theories if I aver it, 
 They are not even dictates of nerve, 
 
 But m?re muddy suggestions of claret. 
 
 Our Hoiiand philosopiiers say, gia, 
 
 is the true philosophical driuk, 
 As it made Doctor H y imagine 
 
 That \o shake is the same as lo think. 
 For, while drnnkemess throb'd in his brain ; 
 
 The j^turdy materialist chose, O fye! 
 To believe its vibration not pain, 
 
 But wisdom, and downright philosophy. 
 
 Ye sages, who shine in my verse. 
 
 On njy labours with gratitude think. 
 Which condemn not the faults they rehearse, 
 
 But impute all your sin to your drink. 
 In drink, poets, philosophers, mob, err : 
 
 Then excuse, if my satire e'er nips ye. 
 When I praise, think me prudent and sober, 
 
 If I blame, be assured I am tip»y. 
 
 Collins the Pod, 
 
 MUCrl attached to a jouDg lady 
 wlio was born a day before hiin, and 
 who did iiut retiiri) liis passion — 
 " Vour's is a liardcase," said a frifiid 
 '• It is it), iudeed," replied Colbiis, 
 " for I tame into the world a day 
 after the fair." 
 
 Hoic to bury a Lawyer, 
 
 A GENTLEMAN in the country 
 who had just buried a rich relation, 
 who was an attorney, was cnmplain- 
 iiiir to Foofe, who liappened to be on 
 a visit with him, of the great ex- 
 penses of a country funeral, in respect 
 to carriages, hat band?, scarfs, c^-c. 
 " Why, do you bury your attorneys 
 iiere ?" asked Foote, gravely. " Yes, 
 to be sure we do: how else?" " Oh ! 
 we never do that in London.'' " No!" 
 said the other, much surprised; " how 
 do you nxanage?" '* Why, when the 
 patient happens to die, we lay him 
 out in a room over night by himself, 
 throw open the sash, lock the door, 
 and in I he morning he is entirely off." 
 "Indeed!" said the other in ^.niaze- 
 ment; "what becomes of him]" — . 
 " Why, that we cannot exactly tell, 
 not being ac(piainted with supernatu- 
 ral causes. All that we know of the 
 matter is, that there is ixstrons smell 
 of hiimstoue in the room 'he next 
 
 morninfr," i'" 
 
 » I ren 
 
 visioi. 
 
 A Hint to Servants to obey Ots) ui> 
 " WE'LL wa'h to-day," the mistrv night. 
 " Betty, 'tischarming drying weare first 
 " 9o take one sheet from off your beQ^ij. i 
 " And aiake a shift to night with t'oti ° 
 
 vere 
 
 N'e.xt piorn the busy dame prepares ler 
 
 To have the washing made complete, 
 
 So ordered Bet to step up stairs, 
 And bring her the remaining sheet. 
 
 "Lank! ma'am, I took it," qnothtbe maid, 
 " And work'd all night upon your gift, 
 
 " Behold ! your orders are obey'd, 
 " I've made my.- elf a tidy shift !"' 
 
 AT a sale of farming stock in 
 Gloucestershire, some time since, the 
 auctioneer gave the following extem- 
 pore description of a beautiful cow ; 
 
 LONG in her side.s, bright in her eyes, 
 Short in her legs, thin in her thighij; 
 Big in her ribs, wide in her pins, 
 Full in her bosom, small in her shins; 
 Long in her fac?. fine in her tail. 
 And never deficient in fiiiing uur pail. 
 M 2
 
 S4 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs^ Wonderful Evenis, 
 
 Murder of Mathews the Hermit. 
 
 THE eccentricities of the above un- 
 fortunate old man have for a number of 
 years been the subject of much curio- 
 sity to tho^c who have visited Nor- 
 wood and its vicinage. Many years 
 ago he obtained leave of the governors 
 of Dulwich Common to form himicU 
 a dwelling on their ground, in the 
 neighbourhood of Sydenham Common 
 and Dulwich Wood. This dwelling, 
 which wab the child of his own fancy, 
 was far secluded from any other, and 
 consisted of an excavation in the 
 earth, thatched in with fern, under- 
 wood, &c. In this cave or Hermit- 
 age, he lived for a series of years, his 
 daily employment being to work in 
 the gardens of the neighbouring gen- 
 try, by whon-, from his simplicity of 
 manners, he was much liked. He 
 always returned to his cave to sleep, 
 and on Sundays used to sell beer to 
 such as/^uriosity might lead to visit 
 hiscel/relatvhom in the summer there 
 were,aran<y. Some years ago however 
 soiw app.ains, instigated by the same 
 nn this that probably occasioned his 
 An the ^an idea that he was possessed 
 wherjncy) broke into his cave, beat 
 upo in a mo!^t dreadful manner, and, 
 aleecably to his own accour:t, robbed 
 ami of twelve shillings. For upwards 
 ■jf a year and a half after this he de- 
 serted his abode, and usually slept in 
 the stables or hay-lofts of those for 
 whom he had been at work. Drawn, 
 however, by some strange impulse, to 
 his former mode of life, he teturned 
 to his cave, the construction of which 
 he altered, by digging it with a moulh 
 resembling an oven, into which he 
 had just room to crawl, and when laid 
 down he connived to press his feet 
 against a board which, placed at the 
 entrance, seived for a door. Ail 
 these precautions did not however, 
 save him from the further attacks ot 
 his enemies, for shortly after he was 
 found near the entrance of his cave 
 
 ilead with his jaw-bnne broken in two ~ , 
 places, and a severe wound in his ■ 
 cheek, the body was discovered by ■ ' 
 some boys, who, at Christmas time 
 had always made a practice of paying 
 the old iwan a visit; he was covered 
 with fern. Sec and under his arm was 
 an oaken branch about six or seven 
 feet long, which it is supposed the 
 villains put into the cave in order to 
 hook him out, as the hooked part was 
 found broken off, which exactly 
 matched with the stick, and from the 
 nature of the wound in his face, it ap- 
 pears likely the hook had been hitcli- 
 ed into his mouth, there being a hole 
 of the size of it quite through the 
 cheek ; and in dragging him to the 
 mouth of the cave they must have 
 turned the body, as his head, when 
 discovered, was outermost. His jaw 
 was broken, and, as is the opinion of 
 a professional gentleman on the spot, 
 the extravasated blood getting into 
 his throat, caused sufl'ocation. The 
 deceased had been at the French 
 Horn at Dulwich; on the Monday 
 evening, and had changed half-a-gui- 
 nea there, great part of which change 
 he is known to have had about him 
 when he went home, none of which 
 was to be found, as his pockets were 
 turned out. A secret pocket, of 
 which none of his acquaintance had 
 any knowledge, did not escape the pry- 
 ing eyes of his murderers, as it was 
 also turned out. Mathews, the de- 
 ceased, was near seventy years of age, 
 and was supposed to have been itidu- 
 ced to adopt his singular mode of liv- 
 ing from the affectionate reniem- 
 b.ance he enttrtained of a departed 
 wife, by whom he had-^ne daughter, 
 doing, as we understand, tolerably 
 well in London. He was generally 
 liked in the neighbouring villages, and 
 remarked for the simplicity of his 
 manners and the punctuality of his 
 dealings; from which circumstance, 
 some gipseys, perhaps, who infest the 
 vicinity of Norwood might be led to
 
 Interesting Narralitcs, Enigmas^ Epigrams, Poelrt/^ S)-c. 85 
 
 conceive him worth money. Three 
 men ot the above description have 
 been committed by MesMs. Bullock j 
 and Bowies, on suspicion of knowing j 
 something of the matter; as they were 
 apart ot" the vagrant ten.ints> ot' an 
 encampment fonv.ed very near the 
 cave ot" the deceased. 
 
 'I'he Coroner for the county of Snr- 
 Ty with a Jury of twcnty-fuur respect- 
 able persons, sat on Friday on the 
 body of Samuel •Nlathews. Na- 
 thaniel Field, the first witness, was 
 one of the boys who had on the above 
 morning gone, as was their custom, 
 to visit the old man of the wood. — 
 On searching his cave they only found 
 his bottle and scrip; on looking nar- 
 rowly aboui the outside of his hut, 
 they found th«^ body covered with two 
 old coats, and some fern; he, with 
 his companion, gave information of 
 the circumstance to the parish officers 
 of Dulwich ; when Mr. Kitchen, a sur- 
 geon and apothecary, went to e.v- 
 aminc the body ; he was lying on his 
 back, lis jaw-bone broke in two, and 
 his mouth filled with coagulated 
 blood; one part of the jaw-bone 
 forced through the outer skin. Mr. 
 Kitchen had known the singular cha- 
 racter of old Mathews, and from the 
 mode in which he usually slept, with 
 his feet towards the entrance of the 
 cave, believes the oaken plank ^pro- 
 duced, to be the instrument with 
 which his death was effected, and that 
 the murderers had hitched the honk- 
 ed part into his mouth, and by the 
 violence which they used to drag him 
 out the jaw was broken; and being 
 kept on his back (in whichposifion he 
 ■was found), the coagulated blood had 
 caused suffocation : his pockets when 
 found, were turned inside out; and to 
 prove he had been robbed, JNIr. Turk, 
 a butcher at Dulwich, deposed that 
 on the evening preceding the murder, 
 the deceased came to his shop, and 
 received St. 2d. in change of ha!f-a- 
 guinea, after discharging a debt of 
 
 2s. 4rf. — Mr. Turk was so pleased 
 with the old man's promptitude on this 
 occasion, that he gave him a bieast of 
 mutton tu carry home with him. The 
 Jury found their verdict: Wilful Mur- 
 der, by a person or persons unknown. 
 
 On some very Yortng Ladies Dancing to a 
 Had Fidlcr. 
 
 ALAS! (bat sucb cberuba in face r.nd in 
 
 shape, 
 Sbould bring a man into so shocking a. 
 
 scrape ! 
 
 A curious Custom in Yarmouth. 
 
 ACCORDING to the charter of 
 this borough, the aldermen and com- 
 mon-councilmen are annually to as- 
 semble and choose, befoi'e thty sepa- 
 rate, the " most discreet alderman 
 to be mayor," The election of Mr. 
 Cory did not take place until after a 
 strong trial of patience and abstinence 
 on both bide-. : the electors assembled 
 on the Tuesday noon, and remained 
 shut up (with only such provisions as 
 they carried in their puckets) until 
 ten o'clock on the Thurday night; 
 when the six whose supplies were first 
 exhausted, found themselves obliged 
 to agree with the other six who were 
 belter provided, and to surrender 
 their votes to avoid starvation, and a 
 third night's confinement in the 
 church hall. 
 
 Craniology. 
 
 A PROFESSOR of Craniology 
 
 passing the other morning through a 
 church-yard near town, while they 
 were opening some old graves, took 
 up several sculls, and affected to dis" 
 tinguish very accurately the charac- 
 ters of their owners. "This now," 
 said the professor, " belonged to a 
 philosopher." " Like enough, your 
 honor," replied the grave digger," for 
 I see 'tis a bit cracked!"
 
 8S Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Epifcrph, on a Monument lately erected in 
 Horsley-Down Church, Cumberland. 
 
 HERE lie the Bodies 
 
 Of Thomas Bo.vd and Marv his Wife. 
 
 Slie was Temperate, Cliaste, aud Charitable ; 
 
 nt T 
 
 She was Prond, Peevish, aud Passionate. 
 
 She was an affectionate Wife, and a tender 
 
 IV.'other; 
 
 Dl'T 
 
 Ifer TTushand and ("hild, whom she loved. 
 Seldom saw her C'ountenanre without a 
 
 disgiisting^ Frown, 
 Whilst »he received Visiters, whom she 
 
 ttvspised, with an endeariuor smile. 
 Her behaviour was discreet towards Stran- 
 gors; Bi;r 
 
 Imprudent in her Family. 
 
 ilbroad, her rondnct was inliuenced by 
 
 good breeding; 
 
 BIT 
 
 At home, by ill temper. 
 She was a jirofessed Enemy to Flattery, 
 Aod was (.eldom known tu praise or com- 
 mend ; Bi T 
 Thetalentsin whirh sheprincipally excelled, 
 Were diilerenceof opinion, and discovering 
 Flaws and Imperfections. 
 She was an admirable Economist, 
 Aud, wiiliKiit Prodigality, 
 Dispensed pleufy to every Person in her 
 Family ; 
 
 BIT 
 
 Vv'^ould (.icrifice their I'yes to a Farthing 
 
 Candle. 
 ^e sometimes made her Husband happy 
 / with her good qualities; 
 
 BIT 
 
 ?.Iuc!i more frequently miserable— with her 
 
 many failings ; 
 
 Insotuucb that iii thirty years cohabitation 
 
 he oflen lamented 
 
 That, maufire all her virtues, 
 
 Ke had not, in the whole, enjoyed two 
 
 Years of iMatrimonial Comfort. 
 
 At LKXGTH, 
 
 Finding that she had lost the affections of 
 
 her Husband, 
 
 As well as the regard of lier Neighbours, 
 
 Family di^putes having been divulged by 
 
 Jflervants, 
 
 She died of vexation, July 20, 1T68, 
 
 Aged 4S years. 
 
 Hep worn-out Husband survived her four 
 
 moullis and two dayt. 
 
 And departed this lite Nov. iS, HOS, 
 
 In the 541 h Year of his age. 
 
 William Bono, brother to the deceased, 
 
 erected (his !«toni', 
 As a IVcek'ij Moniivr to the surviving 
 Wives of this Parish, 
 That they may avoid the Infamy 
 Of having Ihtii- JMemorics hasided io Pos- 
 terity 
 Wilh a palch-voi-.'i Chamcfer. 
 
 Loss and Gain, 
 
 A BUILDER having raised a mag- 
 nificent mansion at a common esti- 
 mate, in hopes of profit, remarke<l, 
 that being too £;oo(l for common use, 
 he had gaiiifd a loss by ir. In his 
 next foundation he was determined 
 lo repair the error by erecting a 
 cottage; but this was found so small 
 I and inconvenient, that no tenant could 
 'iccupy it. A pun'-tcr then observed, 
 '' If he had gained a loss by ihe first, 
 he had lost again by the second." 
 
 The Welcome and Unwelcome Decision. 
 
 ONCE aCockneighaud Yorkist maintain'd 
 
 a dispute, 
 Whether londoa or York was of oldest 
 
 repule ; 
 And the contest kept up, with a clamoron* 
 
 pother, 
 Abo4it '• which Lord Mayor took place of 
 
 the other;" 
 When a wag, who Stood by took the part 
 
 of the Tyke, 
 Saying — ' oudon to York, was, in fame, 
 
 nothing like ; 
 And, — Ibal when their chief magistrates met 
 
 on the road, 
 Never yet did the First dare the Last incom- 
 mode : 
 As the law of the laod, which binds lords to 
 
 oltey. 
 Makes the Lord Afay'r of London turn out 
 
 of the way ! 
 
 At this sage arbitration so plcas'd was the 
 
 Hick, 
 That the umpire, he swore, was as wise ai 
 
 old Nick! 
 But the wag thus reply'd, — " No great con- 
 jurer. I, — 
 " For w ith(ml the black art, we this knot 
 
 can untie ; 
 " And, before yon exnit, bear the reason, I 
 
 pray, 
 "Why "ihe Lord May'r of Tondon, fur 
 
 YorR's must break v^ay; — 
 " The former, when pleas'd ou ajourney to 
 
 Ji.\, 
 " From (he city sets out. iifliis chariot & »ix; 
 "While the latter, w ho^e slate you so 
 
 bo;v«f fully brag on, 
 " His journey must take in the Yorkshire 
 
 stage wasgon ; 
 " Wbidi iioijiis on, by law, with its dig- 
 
 iiilitd load, 
 •' i.'niinprilcd, while chariots turn out of 
 
 the road !'' 
 I'nor N(tj) veil/, thus craftily put to tlieblu»!i, 
 Thought, a l>ade:«riui' to 'scape, 'twas \^* 
 { best way to brusli.
 
 Interesting Xarratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, Sc, S7 
 
 Interesting Letters relative to the 
 Seduction of a Daughter. 
 
 Woburn, Sat. night. 
 Dear C'larles 
 
 TfnS morning put a period to all 
 my happiness — your sister — vo!ir lo-t 
 unhappy sisttr, is fled wifli Gianville! 
 The caro, the affection lliat I have 
 ever sliewn for her — all the princijjles 
 of virtue and nl/ijion that I have ever 
 cndea\onre(! lo inculcate, have availeci 
 Jier nothing, and she is (led at la^t 
 with rjl.iuville. From her Infancy 1 
 have laboured to prove mysdf a kind 
 .ind indulijent father; and now, when 
 I meant to reap the harvest of my 
 toil — behold, this is my reward ! but 
 1 myself have been the cause — I have 
 {liven up too fir: but as she had lo-t j 
 her mother, and my notions of life i 
 were supposed to hv loo contiacled, '■ 
 the opinions of others have weighed j 
 against me, :ind I have relaxed mv ' 
 own principles to her ruin. I have 
 got so far on my road to town, but 
 can hear no tidings whirh way they I' 
 took — nor is it needftd for me to in- 
 quire: I am rather tlyini: from myself | 
 than in pursuit of her — she i-, f'jr ever 
 lost — she's ruined — she fled, alas!: 
 with Glanville. Had his intentions i 
 been honorable, whence this j^ecrerv ? f 
 But nothing can excnipvite her — she i 
 knew the dtpth of misery into which 
 I should be plunged ; and, had she 
 thought of marriage, woidd have 
 saved my desperation. Glanville 
 would not marry her. He owns no 
 ties of either Imnesty or honour; he 
 could violate all en::agements, (if he 
 made any) and the iufiitnated world 
 
 would call it trail, mfrv Ml her 
 
 principles were |)o|liit"d -she vvas deaf 
 to shame, as well as virtue, who could 
 dare to triumph thus over the wmU- 
 i>ess of a father's heart ! Dilay not, 
 my son, to seek, to inquire, to up- 
 braid—it is too late, ala^! to recal : 
 and hhould ch.-.nce or fortune cast her 
 in your way, teproach her with her 
 
 I' infamy — tell her that she has violated 
 her duty to herself, to me, and if 
 there need any aggravation of her 
 crime, to her Ciod : that no penance 
 can obliterate the stain : that she has 
 pulled down ruin on htr>elf and en 
 iier father, and that his tears will be 
 drops of vengeance on her head for 
 ever: tell her — no, no, this maybe 
 too harsh -tell l:er only that if she 
 would return 1 could ioraive her. 
 
 London, 
 Dear Charles, 
 
 I II AVK now no hopes of seeing yea 
 before I leave town ; for I have at last 
 <;ot some faint intelligence of your 
 sistt r, and ^hall set olf iinmediatelv 
 for Dover. Siiould she have set sail 
 for I hear he is rarr\iiig her to France) 
 1 ihall then relin<]iiish all )>uisuit, and 
 leave her to the protection of that 
 power, that can amend her heart ar.d 
 assuage my s«»irows. When you per- 
 ceive me thus torn and distracted uith 
 my grief, harbour not a thought tiiat 
 your sister was ever dearer to me than 
 vourself — she is lost — and now awak- 
 ens all my anxiety; "but thou art 
 ever with me, and all tiiat I have u 
 thine." 
 
 Dear Charles, 
 
 Let those only talk of bearing 
 np agninst atflictions, who have never 
 felt tliein; there niav be such situations 
 that no prinrij)les c;in fortify th:- mind 
 against, mid under which the greatest 
 and the best must ever fall — into such 
 an one is your unhappy father plunged 
 — I pursued niy jonrnf-y so much 
 faster than I expected (for man neither 
 knows liis weakness nor his strength) 
 that I thonghf, by ni-Iit, I sliculd 
 even reach Dover; but gaining no 
 tidings, I began to sink under my fa- 
 li'iue, and to hope only from time, 
 for that aid, whirh philosophy could 
 not afford nie. As I was passing 
 through a small village, 1 saw ail t.'ie 
 people running out, with nnfeelir.g 
 I curiosity, after a poor wretch, wh-'^
 
 SS Liter ary Curiosities, Epitajihs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 they tokl me, was falling; into labour; 
 the officers, 1 fuuiici, were perserutiiiir 
 Jier, to save exjieiises, to the next 
 parish, and had refused her, not only 
 harbour, but rehef — no situation can 
 dispense with our humanity : I deter- 
 mined, therefore, to allot some few 
 shillings, to succour, at least, if not 
 to save, this victim of distress. As I 
 came nearer the rabble stopped, and, 
 for i» while, I even forgot mine own 
 miseries, to contemplate her's. I 
 inveiiihed against their cruelty in the 
 bitterest terms, broke through the 
 crowd, and insisted on tiieir aftbrdiiig 
 her some relief; they told me, " there 
 was no occasion, for the woman in- 
 treated only for to die." — I demanded 
 that they should convey her to the 
 next public-house, that I would leave 
 my watch, my money ; my aid to 
 carry her into it, alas ! I was unable 
 to give, for she was now, from ago- 
 nies, become an object too shocking 
 for humanity to behold. I was, at 
 len^tli, responsible for her charges, 
 and the crowd were iiidillerent to her 
 distress. As soon as ihcy had borne 
 her in, 1 entreated her to take comfort, 
 bewailed her miseries, assured her, 
 that if eilher by leaving my watch or 
 some money, I could procure her 
 cordial medicine or assistance, I 
 would rclitve lier; she looked up 
 wistfully in my face, and told me she 
 
 only wished me to forgive. Think 
 
 my dearest Charies, what must be my 
 feelings, when 1 found this object of 
 misery, to be no other tlian my poor 
 unhappy daughter, whom that viihiin, 
 Glanville, had thus basely deserted. 
 For a while, I fear, I was unable to 
 yield that assistance, as a father, that 
 she would have found from me, as a 
 fritud. But recovering my tranquil- 
 lity, I assured lier all resentments 
 were lost in her distress; that I had 
 even forgot she had offended me, and 
 that if she cuuld recover — " Alas ! 
 says sl»e, it is now too late, for I have 
 languiahed whole days from v. ant — 
 \\illtout friends, without money, and 
 
 without that comfort which innocence 
 could have afforded me ; but that to 
 see me once again, was more than her 
 fondest wishes ever fornied ; nor had 
 she another hope tlian by the blessing 
 of a father, to look up for the for- 
 giveness of her God." But here I 
 
 pause, for the scene-became too af- 
 fecting, and I believe I was carried 
 away from her, before death put a 
 period to her distress Fonoly be- 
 wailing her untimely fate, I sit by her 
 faded corpse, and shed the tender 
 tribute of unavailing tears— thinking 
 that I still see her only as asleep ; tliat 
 I shall again enjoy the Fiveets of her 
 converse, and tliat we shall again be 
 happy — happy indeed, we may be in 
 another worhl, but never more in this 
 — b\it I blu^h to refer myself only to 
 futurity, when on earth I can feel no 
 more comfoit. Oh! Charles, think 
 not that I mean to vindicate wrong, 
 or that my foiuhiess gets the better of 
 my principles. I know her errors, but 
 will not, with a iKalicious world, 
 thie.k this the only fault that a woman 
 can never expiate: it is not, believe 
 me, an horror at the crime, but the 
 pride of life, that begets these dis- 
 tinctions. J.et the cold, the selfish, 
 and the unfriendly, speak rigidly of 
 her offences, a father cr.uld feel only 
 
 for her distress. When this first 
 
 burst of my grief begins to subside, 
 I siiall endeavor to take some mea- 
 Hires for her removal ; for I intend to 
 bury her at Marleston, not with those 
 honours, perhaps, as if adorned with 
 virtue; yet, nevertheless, with a de- 
 cency tiiat is due to the^infortunate ; 
 and lest " ill tongues should hereafter 
 be 'oobusy with her fame," 1 will in- 
 scribe something like the foliowinjj 
 epitaph upon her tomb : 
 
 STOP, gentle maid, whoever Ihon art; 
 .'•lie that lies buried lieve, was once as fair 
 
 and aniialile as ttiyself. 
 
 Wliilsi slie was innocent, slie was liappy ; 
 
 But l)y yielding to tiie sednction of man, 
 
 and oi the world— she was cut ofF in 
 
 the early bloom of yonth, to 
 deter IJiee from followiDg lier example.
 
 Inleresfing Narratives, Enigmas , Epigrams, Poetry,, SiC 89 
 
 Death of Mr. Pitt. 
 
 ON Wednesday, January 22, \^0G, 
 died at his House in Putney, (lie Riel't 
 Hon. William Pitt, Chancellor of the 
 Exche(]uer, First Lord of the Treasury, 
 Constable of Dover Castle, Warden 
 of the Cinque Ports, Master of the 
 Trinfty House, Governor of the Char- 
 ter House, and Hi^h Steward of the 
 University of Cainbridse. 
 
 The illness of Mr. Pitt orisinated 
 in extreme debility. I>v this debilit\, 
 liis whole nervous system was so de- 
 ranged, that for weeks to<ielIier he 
 was un<ible to sleep. An htreditiiry 
 gout produced, accorrlin^ to its ordi- 
 nary effect on a debilitated SNsfem, 
 water in the chest, and such a weuk- 
 ness of stomach, that he could neither 
 admit nor retain any thini,'. 
 
 The Bishop of Lincoln (his intimate 
 friend) who attended him, beini; call- 
 ed out of his room, had the f ilh-wins 
 opinion expressed to himi: — " He can- 
 not live forty-eight hour< — the disor- 
 der has taken a mortal turn — anv at- 
 tempt to rouse him from his present 
 lethargy would be attended with in- 
 stant death ; he is not strong enough 
 for medicine, or any restorative ap- 
 plication. If he lingers a few days, 
 if will astonish me." The Bishop of 
 Lincoln now saw the necessity of in- 
 timating the danger to Mr. Pitt. He 
 fulfilled this painful office with firm- 
 ness; Mr. P'tt was hardly sensible: 
 this dreaded shock had scarcely power 
 to dissipate bis lethargy ; but after a 
 few moments he waved liis hand, and 
 was left alone with the bishop. He 
 instantly expressed himself perfectly 
 resigned to the Divine will, and, with 
 the utmost composure asked Sir W. 
 Farquhar how long he might exi)ect 
 to live? Mr. Pitt then entered into a 
 conversation of some length with the 
 Bishop of Lincoln, upon religious sub- 
 jects. He repeatedly declared, in 
 the strongest terms of humility, a 
 sense of his own unworthiness, and a 
 iinn reliance upon the mercy of God, 
 
 through the merits of Christ. After 
 this, the Bishop of Lincoln prayed by 
 his bed-iide for a considerable time; 
 and Mr. Pitt appeared greatly com- 
 posed by these last duties of religion. 
 The Bishop of Lincoln continued with 
 him all night. — The mortal symptoms 
 were now approaching to a crisis. -r- 
 His extremities were already cold, and 
 his senses began to fail. As a last 
 and desperate effort \o protract life, 
 blisters were applied to the soles of 
 bis feet. They re.'-tored him to some- 
 thing of life and recollection, but they 
 could arrest nothing of the progress 
 f his death, which took place at 
 half-past four in the morning Mr. 
 i*itt «as in the 47th jear of his age. 
 
 William Pitt, the illustrious Earl of 
 Chatham, had three sons, of whom 
 William was the youngest. He was 
 born May S, J 759, at a time wiien 
 his father's glory was at its zenith. 
 
 Last Moments of Mr. Fox. 
 
 THE death of this eminent. states- 
 man took place at twenty minutes be- 
 fore six, on Saturday evening. Sep- 
 tember 13, 1806, in the presence of 
 Mrs. Fox, Miss fox and Lord Hol- 
 land. Lord Fitzwilliam arrived at 
 Chiswick a few hours before the death 
 of his friend; he saw him only to be- 
 hold the last gleam of life. Mr, Fox 
 iipened his eyes, and recognized the 
 man whom he had perliaps most es- 
 teemed through life. This perception 
 was the liist act of his expiring facul- 
 ties. Lord Fitzwilliam was as speech- 
 less as his friend ; he was forced from 
 the room by the physicians, who were 
 desirous that the last moments of their 
 illustrious patient should be as little 
 dinturbed as ^>ossible. Throwing him- 
 self on a sofa in an adjoining cham- 
 ber, he became senseless ; and in the 
 :;eneral distress and agitation wai sut- 
 tVrtd to reninin some tin\e wiUiout 
 assistance. 
 
 2f
 
 so Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Brents, 
 
 It is stated that the last words of 
 Mr. Fox to Lord Holland were — " 1 
 die happy — I pity you." 
 
 The chief trait in the domestic cha- 
 racter of Mr. Fox was an uncommon 
 gentleness of temper; he was placable 
 almost lo a fault; the greatest of in- 
 juries could not have worked him up 
 to a resentment beyond the moment. 
 His heart, therefore, was open to the 
 slightest kindness; and the most in- 
 significant tribute of this nature, the 
 commonest act of almost ordinary ci- 
 vility, excited in him a lively bene- 
 volence ; but this quality may be bet- 
 ter described by a term as simple as 
 it is purely English : he was the most 
 good natured man living. 
 
 The Two Doctors. 
 
 AN Indian monarch entertained at 
 his palace two men of letters; 
 
 men ot letters; one 
 who devoted his whole time to books, 
 was accounted a prodigy of learning 
 — nothing could abate the ardour of 
 liis studies, so that he soon excelled 
 his companion, who, however, was 
 amply compensated by possessing un- 
 common penetration, and an astonish- 
 ing presence of mind. Both being 
 ambitious of renown, they mutually 
 envied one another, and each secretly 
 decried his companion. Not knowing 
 to which to give the preference, the 
 rajah sought for a long time an occa- 
 sion to put their talents to a trial. 
 At length an opportunity presented : 
 having occasion to send embassies to 
 some neighbouring princes, our two 
 scholars were appointed the ambas- 
 sadors ; each was to carry with him a 
 chest, which he was given to under- 
 stand was filled with magnificent pre- 
 sents; the man of profound learnins; 
 presented his as he had been ordered, 
 bat was struck dumb with amazement 
 when he discovered^ on its being 
 opened, that it contained nothing but 
 cinders: and not being able to answer 
 the interrogatories of the monarch on 
 
 this strange present, he was disgrace- 
 fully driven from the courts and re- 
 turned, covered with confusion, to 
 the rajah, his master. The other 
 ambassador, likewise, presented his 
 chest, which was not more richly 
 laden than that of his conipanion; 
 but he, when he discovered the con- 
 tents, without appearing at all discon- 
 certed, replied — that the king, his 
 master, having lately made a great 
 sacrifice according to the rites of their 
 religion, had appointed him to renew 
 the alliance, wliicli had so long sub- 
 sisted between them, and to strength- 
 en it by the usual ceremonies. Thus 
 saying, he repeated a short praver; 
 and, taking a cinder between his foie 
 finger and thumb, made a mark on 
 the monarch's forehead, who received 
 this token of amity, with every mark 
 of respect. Our ambassador, ladeu 
 with kindnesses and presents, returned 
 home, attended by a numerous escort, 
 where he experienced the most flatter- 
 ing reception from his sovereign. 
 Every one admired his address and 
 presence of mind, in extricating him- 
 self from so unpleasant a situation ; 
 and, finally, he received the most 
 honorable distinctions, and arrived at 
 the highest offices of the state; while 
 his rival, notwithstanding his profound 
 learning, was totally neglected, and 
 sunk into an obscurity, from which 
 his laborious works will never rescue 
 him. — In active life, penetration and 
 good sense are of more value tha» 
 profound erudition. 
 
 Anecdote of Mr. Betty. 
 
 AT a first rehearsal, the Edinburgh 
 manager expressed his fears t hat younj; 
 Betty's voice would not fill the house. 
 " My dear Sir," replied the little hero 
 of buskin, " I beg you would be 
 under no apprehensions upon that 
 score, for, if my voice does not liil 
 vour house, probably mji- playing 
 Will."
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, SiC. 91 
 
 The Merry Mal-Entendu. 
 
 XICKNAMES, they say, are foolish lhing§, 
 
 A sort of sapscul jargon : 
 On which each dolt the changes rings, 
 
 A question I'll not arg'on. 
 
 But this I know, and dare to say, 
 
 They oft create a pother ; 
 Inwfeichthe wording points one way. 
 
 And meaning takes auotiier. 
 
 Tha« Jackand Nan, at Stirbich fair, 
 
 Two servants at an Inn ; 
 A ehambermaid and waller rare, 
 
 Were caught in quibblers gin. 
 
 For John in country had been bred, 
 
 4ud Ann had been the same ; 
 And Qeitber yet had troubled head, 
 
 With things of twofold name. 
 
 When l» ! two blades of London lore, 
 
 Who vhaHc'd that way to pass, 
 Bid John, when both were half aeas o'er, 
 
 To bring a looking glass. 
 
 So John up to the chamber went, 
 
 Unconscious of his error, 
 Aad, quick returning, did present, 
 
 The smooth and polish'd mirror. 
 
 Blockhead ! says one: says t'other, dance ! 
 
 (And Nan within ear-shot,) 
 A glass! — Beshrew your empty sconce ! 
 
 We want a chamber-pot. 
 
 Nan, hearing all upqe the wing, 
 
 Her flight up stairs she lakes ; 
 While Jack felch'd down the proper thing, 
 
 And rectified mistakes. 
 
 Kext day, in state, came Lady Pride, [ 
 
 Aadoutof chariot bolting, 
 " I'm all in such a muck," she cry'd, 
 
 " With so much dust and jolting :" 
 
 " Shew me a room np stairs," 'Yes ma'am,' 
 •* And BOW, d'ye hear, my lass ? 
 
 " That I may see how touz'd I am, 
 " Bring me a looking-g'ass." 
 
 *' O yes," says Nan, brisk as a bee, 
 
 " I'll do it in a crack ; 
 *' I'm not go greal a fool,'' you'll see, 
 
 " As that great nampscuU, Jack." 
 
 So to the chamber up she flew, 
 Brought down the crock'ry ware, 
 
 And cry'd, " Here nia'm is one qnite new, 
 " And bonght just now at fair!" 
 
 " That !— Why I want a looking-glass !" 
 " I know it ma'm, ' says Nan ; 
 
 *' They took in Jack, poor silly ass, 
 " Bat take in mb who can.'' 
 
 Bon Mot from Botany Bay. 
 
 AN edition of Bailey's Dictionary 
 having been put up at an auction, the 
 vendue-master observed, that it was 
 a T^ew Bailey.—-" I am glad of that 
 with all my heart," replied the bidder, 
 " for most of us have had enough of 
 the Old one" 
 
 PROPHECY ON REFORM, 
 
 WHEN a lawyer sheds tears while he'» 
 
 striking a docket ; 
 When assessors hexve sighs when they 
 
 empty your pocket; 
 When reviewers feel pangs, like the aathor* 
 
 they cut up ; 
 When conscience for sale shall no longer b« 
 
 put np; 
 When placemen, unask'd, throw np siney 
 
 cares ; 
 When any quack medicine performs any 
 
 cures ; 
 When women of eighty confess Ihey'fe \a. 
 
 years ; 
 When they make snch confessions without 
 
 shedding tears ; 
 When poor curates thrive, while fat bishops 
 
 get skinny ; 
 When a note with a sbiliing is preferr'd to a 
 
 gi>iaea; 
 When there's peace, because tyrants, are 
 
 weary of killing: 
 When a good thampiug loaFs to be had for 
 
 a shilling'. 
 When, like cattle at market, base voterg 
 
 ar'n't sold ; 
 When tea-scandal ceases, and fish-fags don't 
 
 scoid ; 
 When true taste shall snifer no more like s 
 
 martyr i 
 When Shakspeare's preferr'd to Timoar the 
 
 Tartar J 
 When ale's made again from good malt- 
 
 and hops ; 
 When Corn- Jews are found to rejoice at^ 
 
 good crops ; 
 When butchers, dear souls! low'r the^ 
 
 price of their chops ; 
 When truttf shall no longer h^ deem'd a 
 
 fonl libel ; 
 When men follow precept? they preach from 
 
 the bible; 
 When symptoms like these shall be seen 
 
 through the land, 
 They'll seem to portend — " A Reform is a^ 
 hand!" 
 
 (From the Morning Ckromai 
 
 H 2
 
 02. Literari/ Curiosities^ Epitaphs.) Wonderful EteniSy 
 
 A CRUST FOR THE QUORUM; 
 
 Org a worshipful Wineacre fairly foiVd. 
 
 ONCE an old country sqnaretoes, to fop- 
 p 'ry a foe ; 
 
 And disgusted alike at a crop and a beau, 
 
 Sfiing churchwarden made, was in office so 
 strict, 
 
 That thiere scarce was a coat but a hole in't 
 he pick'd ; 
 
 Infringements, encroachments, and trespas- 
 ses scouting, 
 
 And from stradliugthe tombstones the boys 
 daily routing ; 
 
 At last made a Justice, corruption to purjre, 
 
 His Worship became both a nuisance and 
 scouFije : 
 
 When a poor needy neighbour, who kept a 
 miicli Ass, 
 
 Which he often turu'd into the chnrcfayard 
 for grass, 
 
 And with long ears and tail o'er the graves 
 did he stray. 
 
 While perchance, now and then at bystand- 
 ers he'd bray ; 
 
 One day as old Midas was passing along. 
 
 He set up his pipes at his brother, ding, 
 dong ! 
 
 At which his pufT'd pride was so stung to 
 the quick. 
 
 That he glar'd at the browser as stern as old 
 Nick ; 
 
 And when he got home for the Sexton he 
 sent, 
 
 Who with his doughty threat to the Ass- 
 keeper went , 
 
 That again should his beast the churchwar- 
 den assail. 
 
 Or be seen in the church -yard —he'd cut 
 oii° his tail. 
 
 When the owner replied — " Sure his Wor- 
 ship but jeers ; 
 
 But should he dock Donkey — V\\ cut off his 
 
 EARS." 
 
 When no sooner the answer was brought to 
 him back. 
 
 But he sDmmon'd before him the Clown in 
 a crack; 
 
 And he said, " Thou vile varlet,how comes 
 it to pass. 
 
 That thoq dar'st to threaten to crop a Just- 
 ass ? 
 
 Thou cut off MY EARS? — Make bis mitti- 
 mus, clerk ; 
 
 I'll make an example of this precious spark : 
 
 But first reach me down the Black Act, — he 
 shall s.ee 
 
 That, the next Lent Assizes, he'll swing on 
 a tree." 
 
 ** I zwing on a tree !— And for what," re- 
 plies Hob, 
 
 *' How the Dickens came zuch a gtreange 
 freak in your knob ? 
 
 " I woanly but zaid, if my Ass met your 
 
 shears, 
 " And you cut off his tail, that I'd cut off^ 
 
 his EARS : 
 " Vor as long tails, yoa think, is the marlr 
 
 of a Fop, 
 " I'd ha'done't, to have made'n completely 
 
 a crop." 
 At this subtle rejoinder, his Worship struck 
 
 dumb, 
 Found his proud overbearing was quitei 
 
 overcome ; 
 So the Ass sav'd his tail by a quibble so 
 
 clever. 
 And the Justice's Ears are now longer thaa 
 
 ever. 
 
 Royalty from a Brewkouse. 
 
 DURING the troubles in tlie reign 
 r>f Charles I. a country prl came to 
 London in search of a place as a serr 
 vant maid ; but not succeedins!;, she 
 hired herself to carry out beer from a 
 brewhouse, and was one of those 
 called tub-women. The brewer ob- 
 servino^ a good looking girl in his oc- 
 cupation, took her into his family as a 
 servant, and after a short time mar- 
 ried her ; but he died while she was 
 yet a young woman, and left her the 
 bulk of his fortune. Tiie business of 
 the brewery was dropped, and the 
 young woman was recommended to 
 Mr. Hyde, as a skilful lawyer, to ar- 
 range her husband's affairs. Hyde, 
 (who was afterwards (he great Earl of 
 Clarendon) finding the widow's for- 
 tune considerable, married her. Of 
 this marriage there was no other issue 
 than a daughter, who was afterwards 
 the wife of James H. and mother of 
 Mary and Anne, queens of England, 
 
 On Edward Hublin, a Cornish Attorney, 
 
 I FAITH Ned, 
 
 I'm glad thou'rt dead, 
 
 But had it been another, 
 
 1 could wish'd had been thy brother} 
 
 And for the good of the nation, 
 
 Thy whole generation : 
 
 But seeing thou'rt dead, 
 
 There's no more to be said.
 
 Interesting^ Narnatives, Enigmas., Epigrams, Poetry, S^c. 95- 
 
 Oi'igin of Balloons. 
 
 A DESIRE to % lias prevailed in 
 all ages, and most children li.ive v 
 wish to imitate (lie birds. Roger Uacn 
 born at Ilcliesf* r, in Somersclslurc, m 
 the beginiiinu of tiie I3lli centui>, 
 was the tirst lli^t is known t<> have 
 conceived the idea of ribiiijj in the a,r, 
 supported by exhausted balls of thin 
 copper. He was ignor;)nt of the ex- 
 istence of hght air, endowed with as- 
 great an elastic force as common air, 
 and tlerefore, l\inuiih his e\aniple u\ 
 light balls was the eanie as that on 
 which balloons are now made, it was 
 imi)raclicable: but we find that Dr 
 Black, of Edinburgh, is the first per- 
 son who is known to have suggesttil 
 the possibility of enclosing intiauipia- 
 bje air so as to render it capable of 
 raising a vessel into the atmosphere, 
 which was done in his lectures in 1 7^7 
 and 1708; and-Mr. Cavallo, in 178'2, 
 first made experiments on the subject, 
 but he was unable to retain the ur in 
 any nifeterial light enough for I he pur- 
 pose, except a thick solut.ori of sv>ap, 
 wliich the practice of children had 
 shewn would ascend even with respir- 
 ed air raritied by heat. In the sanje 
 year, Stephen a»d John Montgolfitr, 
 paper manufacturers, of Annonay, 
 about ten leagues from Lyons, filleo 
 a silken bag raritied by burning paper, 
 which rose, first in a room, and after- 
 wards, {o the height of 70 feet in the 
 open air. Several repetitions of the 
 experiment were made in the ensuing 
 year, and finally, dry straw and chop- 
 ped wool were consumed instead of 
 paper. One of their balloons, about 
 1 3 feet in diameter, rose to the height 
 of 3,000 feet in two minutes. 
 
 At length, on the 15th of October, 
 17-S8, M. Pilatre de Koziere rose 
 from the garden of the Fauxbourg 
 St. Antoine at Paris, in a wicker gal- 
 kry about three feet broad, attached 
 to an oval balloon of 7 A, feet by 48, 
 wiiic}rl«4 been made by Montgollier, 
 
 and which also carried up a brazier, or 
 grate, for the purpose of continuing 
 at pleasure the inflation of the balloon 
 by a fire of straw and wool. The 
 weight of this machine was 1600 
 pounds. On that day it was permit- 
 ted to rise no higher than 84 feet, but 
 Oil the 19th, wlien ftl. (iiraud de 
 ViMette ascended with him, they rose 
 to the height of 332 feet, being pre- 
 vented from farther assent only by 
 ropes. In November of the same 
 year, M. P. de Roziere and the Mar- 
 quis D'Arlanzes first trusted a balloon 
 to the elemeui-, uiio, after rising to 
 the height of 3,000 feet, descended 
 about five miles from the place of 
 tiieir ascent. 
 
 About the same time. Count Zara- 
 beccari sent up from the Artillery 
 Ground, in London, a small gilt bal- 
 loon filled with inflammable air which 
 in tw o hours and a half reached a spot 
 near Petworth, 'v^ Sussex, and would 
 not tiien have fallen had it not burst, 
 l^he discovery was now nearly as com- 
 plete as in its present state Inflam- 
 mable air, produced by iron filings 
 and vitiiolic acid, was soon used in the 
 hiflation of larger balloons, and by 
 one of 272 ^^'^^ '" diameter, M. 
 Charles and M. .Roberts rose in 
 December from the garden of the 
 Tbuilieiies in Paris, and in an hour 
 and a half descended 27 miles from 
 that city. In this voyage, the ther- 
 mometer fell from 47 to 31^ from 
 which datum the balloon was suppos- 
 ed to have reached the height of 3500 
 feet. — Subsequent experiments may 
 rather be enumerated than described. 
 
 Enigma. 
 
 I ONLY alone you ouly that 
 Love one, are love one, one 
 One, and she ; one and be 
 And jpu do and let me. 
 
 Explanation. 
 ,1 LOVE one, and only one. 
 
 And you alone are she ; 
 Do you love one, and tiii.'j one, 
 And let that one be me.
 
 9i 
 
 Literar?/ Curiosities, Epitaphs, fVonderful Events, 
 
 Breach of Promise of Marriage, 
 
 HAND V. KISTEN. 
 
 MR. Serjeant Cocktl stated, thai 
 bis client was a younji lady who 
 sought redress for one of the most 
 cruel injuries that could he offered to 
 her sex. She resided al Harbro' wiili 
 her brother, a respectable tradesman 
 in that town. The defendant was put 
 apprentice to Mr. Hand, and in the 
 course of some years a mutual affec- 
 tion sprung up between him and Miss 
 Hand. An ectaircissement at last took 
 place, and the lovers vowed eternal 
 constancy. The term of the defend- 
 ant's aj>j)renticeship was now nearly 
 espired, and he resolved to tiy his 
 fortune in London. — Afier a tender 
 parting he accordingly stt out. Mi>s 
 Hand was much depressed, and her 
 fears to the dissipation of the metro- 
 polis ))roved to have been prophetic 
 For some tmie, however, he remained 
 true to his promises. He wrote her 
 affectionate letters, and having seen 
 her once in town, he testified all the 
 fondness for her which had formerly 
 marked his passion when at its heijjht. 
 But when he ought to have led her to 
 the alter he for<i0t his plighted troth, 
 and drew back from his sacred engage- 
 ments. She was thus disappointed in 
 her views of future happiness, and 
 held up to the ridicule of all h<'r ac- 
 quaintance. The learned Seijeant 
 added many other particulars, and 
 •lescribed hi the most glowing terms 
 the ill usage which Miss Hand had 
 received. 
 
 The evidence consisted chiefly of 
 the letters which the defendant had 
 wrote from London to his mistress at 
 Harbro.* These occasioned infinite 
 Bierriment. In the first place they 
 disclosed the fact that Mr Ki>sten was 
 a journeymnn tallow-chandhr. In 
 painting the ardour of his attachment 
 he likewise borrowed many terms fVom 
 his art. Although it appeared that 
 he was not always in a nultin^ mood, 
 he Ulks of his soul beiug dissohtd, of 
 
 being </i)?perf in wretchedness; of his 
 heart being cast in a delicate mould, 
 of the store of happiness which he 
 conceived was awaiting him ; of his 
 love burnins: dear ; of bis liver being 
 consumed like the wick of a candle; 
 of his fears lest her passions died away 
 like the Jlame in the socket of a can- 
 dlestick, &c. &c. There was one 
 passage whicbafforded peculiaramuse- 
 meat, as it reminded every one of the 
 s'yle of a Noble Marquis, who, after 
 painting the ardour of his passion, 
 stops suddenly short to descant upon 
 (he price of wheat in Reading market, 
 " My Inve, (says Mr. Kisten) ray 
 aHgel, my Hand, when shall we be 
 joined together, and mix like wax and 
 spermaceti? By the bye, I have bad 
 news for your brother. Tallow is as 
 high as ever, and at present there is a 
 prospect of its rising higher still. 
 As such he cannot do better than buy 
 any that comes m his way." 
 
 From an able cross-examination, it 
 came out that this disconsolate virgin 
 is thirty-seven years of age, and the 
 fickle swain might almost be her son. 
 Mr. Serjeant Best addressed the 
 .Tury in behalf of the defendant with 
 his usual acumen and pathos. He 
 allowed that the young man had acted 
 very indiscreetly, but strenuously con- 
 tended that the plaintiff had no reason 
 to complain. He thought it unneces- 
 sary to call any witnesses, as it already 
 appeared that the match was quite dis- 
 proportionate, ar.d that if it had taken 
 place it could have produced uothing 
 hut misery. 
 
 Lord Alvanley observed to the Jury, 
 that though cases of this kind weie 
 often very serious, yet that the present 
 could scarcely be considered of such 
 a complexion. From the rupture 
 that look place, MisS Hand could 
 scarcely be supposed to have been 
 deprived of much happiness. Where 
 the ages of the parties were so un- 
 equal, and where there had been no 
 consent of parents, little could be ex- 
 pected but discord and misery. How ■?
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, SfC, 9m 
 
 ever, the lady had met with a disap- j 
 poinlmeiit, and was certainly entitled 
 to sonu' compensation. He would 
 not venture to point out how large it 
 should be^ 
 
 The Jury, after consnlting together 
 for a ft'w minutes, found a verdict for 
 the piaifltift', damnges lOO/. 
 
 BelCx Mcstenger, July 2Z, 1802. 
 
 Brighton Anecdote. 
 
 SOMF, ill-timed pleasantry was 
 pluytd oJ}" at Brighton, on a rcspcct- 
 alilo L;iw Oliicer, and his wife, who 
 made a bUinnitr excursion there. An 
 inviiation, couched in due form, and 
 bearing all the nmrks of authenticity 
 was sent to tiiem, desiriuy their com- 
 pany at the Pavilion, in the evening. 
 Tlie gentleman and lady, justly proud 
 of the distinguished honour thus con- 
 ferred on them, they knew not liow, 
 attended at the hour a))pointed, and 
 were ushered into the saloon, in which 
 Avere many persons of fashion, to 
 whom they were wholly unknown. 
 Some embarrassment necessarily en- 
 sued, but it was increased to a ten- 
 fold degree, when they were an 
 nounced to the illustrious Master of 
 the house, who had no recollection 
 either of his guests, or the invitdtii^n 
 in his name; an explanation ensued, 
 when his Royal Highness, with all 
 that urbanity which distinguishes him 
 as the most finished gentleman in 
 Europe, was pleased to declare " that 
 he felt hiniself nnicli indebted to the 
 ingenious person who (by forging hi^ 
 invitation, in order, perhaps, to sport 
 with their feelings) had afforded him 
 the pleasure of their society, and ac- 
 quaintance, however unexpected ; and 
 that ho was perfect I v hapj)y in the op- 
 portunity of receiving them." His 
 Royal Highness conducted himself to- 
 wards them, during tlie whole of the 
 eveninu, with the most liberal an- 1 
 marked attention, and thus converted 
 a rencontre, which was produced by 
 the most ma)igi;anl motives, into a 
 §ource of honwur and satisfaction. 
 
 An account of a Man's standing the 
 Shot of a Cannon, at a small Dis' 
 tance, ivith the Method of doing it 
 with Safety. 
 
 A PERSON, some time since, 
 affirmed he had the secret of iloing 
 what liad been hiliierto imagined im- 
 possible ; tJiat is, standing the shot of 
 a cannon charged with a proper ball, 
 and foil quantity of powder, at the 
 distance of only ten yards. An iron 
 gi;n, a nine pounder, a bullet of that 
 weight, and powder for a charge was 
 provided. All that he required was 
 to have the charging of the g\in him- 
 self, which when he liad done, lie 
 I'laced himself al ten yards di tance, 
 straight belure the muzzle, and desired 
 one of his coni|)ani«)ns to tire it: iie 
 was greatly surprised at his confidence, 
 but, unwilling to be accessary to his 
 losin;; his life by his rashness, desired 
 him to stand from before the cannon, 
 and only place his hand to receive the 
 bullet; this hcfiid, and his companion 
 fwed : the loudness of the repot t give 
 iheni no room to doubt but that he 
 had put in the full charge of powder 
 they gave him, but to their amazement 
 and surprise, they saw him stop llie 
 ball with his hand ; tlie ball fell direct- 
 ly down ; in short, he received no 
 iiurt. Some of the company judged 
 he had done this by putting in a false 
 [>al! made of hollow pasteboard, but 
 on examining it, iiiuiid it to be the verv 
 bullet that was given him, so that it 
 was plain there was no deception. 
 
 On the whole, after a thousand ran- 
 dom guesses about the way in which 
 this was done, the man ofl'ered, for a 
 certain sum of money, to tell them 
 the secret, which tliey joined to pur- 
 chase, and found i( to be this : 
 
 When you liave the proper quan'tifv 
 of powder for a charge, put a very 
 little of it into a cannon, then the 
 the ball, and over iJiat the best of 
 the powder; then put in the waddini'', 
 and ram it i\i.)wv\ hard, a-j usual ; thU 
 is the uiiolc mystery : auU a, canuoa
 
 56 Liternrrj Curiosities^ lipiiajjhs, Wonclerftd Etents^ 
 
 thus charged will not carry the bulle( 
 twenty yards. The report of the can- 
 non this way is as loud as any other, 
 for all the powder is fired, the bullet 
 not filling the barrel so exactly as to 
 hinder its catching ; and the effect of 
 the ball is almost nothing, because 
 the hall is only thrown forward by the 
 small quantity, of powder below it, 
 that which is above rather driving it 
 back than forward* 
 
 Duel. 
 
 IN April 1803, a very fatal Duel 
 took place between Colonel Montgo- 
 mery and Captain James Macnamara, 
 of the Royal Navy. The misunilcr- 
 sfanding arose aliDUl four o'clock that 
 afternoon, in Hyde Park, from the 
 Newfoundland dogs of the^e gentlemen 
 •unfortunately quarrelling and fighting. 
 Captain Macnamara called upon Col. 
 Montgomery to assist in separating 
 the dogs, wliich he is said to have 
 done; however. Captain Macnamara 
 thinking otherwise, addressed him 
 again in such terms as induced the 
 Colonel to remark, " Sir, if yon are 
 not content with what I have done, 
 you must satisfy yourself in snch 
 other manner as you think proper." 
 Capt. Macnamara rejoined, that he 
 should ceitainly require satisfaction 
 in another way, and desired the Co- 
 lonel to hold himself in readiness to 
 receive a message P'om him, which 
 llieotlie^ promised to do. Col. Mont- 
 gomery immediately sent for his 
 friend. Sir W. Kier, of the dragoons, 
 to attend him. Capt. Barry, of the 
 navy, the second of Capt. Macna- 
 mara, arrived at five o'clock with the 
 message ; when it was settled, that the 
 respective parties should immediately 
 proceed in two hackney coaches to the 
 bottomof Hampstcad Ilill, Arriving 
 at the lane leading to Primrose liill 
 soon after six o'clock, tlicy ali;;hted, 
 and walked to the bottom cf that held. 
 
 followed by their servant-, with two 
 ca^es of pistols, and attended by Mr. 
 Heavisidc, the surgeon. The seconds 
 here, highly to their honour, strenu- 
 ously pressed a reconciliation, stat- 
 ins, that thf ha»ty cause of their mis- 
 understanding could not require a 
 further contest of so serious a nature. 
 All mediation however pinving vain, 
 Sir W. Kier stepped out the ground, 
 tv\elve paces. — The opponents took it 
 back to back at a qiiHrter before se- 
 ven o'clock, and coming round at a 
 word given, fired togeihei, when both 
 shots took place. The ball from 
 Capt. Macnamara's pistol entered the 
 right side of the Colonel, between the 
 fourth and fifth ribs, who twirled in- 
 stantly round, and exclaimed, " 1 am 
 shot through the heart!" Mr. Ileavi- 
 side said, "I hope not, Sir;" and 
 procured him a glass of water; he 
 tried to bleed himln vain, and he in- 
 stantly foil. The Colonel's took place 
 just above the hip of Cnpt. M. and 
 passed through the left side, carrying 
 part of his coat along with it. As 
 soon as the coaches could be got up, 
 they were both put into them, and 
 conveyed to Chalk-house Farm, close 
 by, where, in a few minutes, Col. 
 Montgomery expired : he had re- 
 quested, if any accident befel him, 
 that Mr. Keato might be sent for. 
 He lived just twenty minutes. Capt. 
 Macnamara walked up to Col, Mont- 
 gomery when he fell, and asked him, 
 "Whether he was satisfied!" The 
 Colonel replied, " Yes!" After bleed- 
 ing Captain Macnamara, Mr. Ileavi- 
 side conveyed him with great diffi- 
 culty to his hotel in Jermyn-street. 
 Understanding that an officer of the 
 Police was attending in the hotel, to 
 secure his person, his fever was vio- 
 lently incieased. JMr. Hardinge, of 
 St. James's-street, and ten other per- 
 sons, were spectators of this frantic 
 rencontre. — Mr. Montgomery, was 
 Lieut. Colonel of the yth regiment of 
 foot.
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas^ Epigrams, Poetry, SfC. 07 
 
 Ennis Summer Assizes, Ireland. 
 
 IN September, 1804., an actinn 
 was brouslit by the l\ev. Charles 
 Massy, against tl)e Most Noble tlie 
 Marquis of Ileadfort, for criminal 
 conversation with plaiiitifl''s wife ; da- 
 mages being laid at iJiO.OOO. 
 
 Mr. Hoare stated the case for the 
 plaintiff. — ThephiintifFwas the second 
 son of a gcnileman of liigh distinction 
 in this county, wiio lias been more 
 than once called to the represeutiilion 
 of it by a free and honourable elec- 
 tion; and not only so descended, but 
 was a person of liberal education, a 
 member of or.e of the learned |»ro- 
 fessions, in the prime of life; a man 
 not only of inoffensive manners, and 
 of innocent life, but a man whose vir- 
 tues corresponded with his situation 
 in society, and adorned the profession 
 he adopted. In the year 1796\ Mr. 
 Massy became attached to Miss Ros- 
 slewin. Mr. Massy, being a second 
 son, and not independent of the 
 bounty of his father, possessed then a 
 living but of £800 a year. Sir Hugh 
 Massy, his father, disapproved a 
 match which had not fortune to sup- 
 port the claim of beauty, and had 
 therefore proposed one with a youn^' 
 lady of a neighbouring county, which 
 he conceived, in point of fortune anfl 
 connection, far more eligible, and on 
 that occasion had offered to settle on 
 his son, the plaintiff, £1,100 a year 
 in landed property, together with the 
 young lady's fortune; but, declining 
 the hand of an amiable and accom- 
 plished lady, rrfusing an ample and 
 independent establishment, with the 
 
 t. additional enjoyment of parental 
 bounty and approbation, and fore- 
 going all these advantages, Mr. INlassy 
 proved the sincerity and purity of iiis 
 attachment, by a sacrifice of fortune 
 to affection, and married Miss Rossle- 
 \\\n, in March, 179(); and the hap- 
 piness of the young couple, for eight 
 succeeding years, not only seemed to 
 
 I 
 
 be, but really was, unmixed and un- 
 abating, he loving with constant and 
 i manly ardour, she with chaste and 
 j equal affection; and during the inter- 
 val. Heaven had blessed their union 
 ' with a boy, the bond and cement of 
 ! their present happiness, the pledge 
 I and promise of future multiplied feli- 
 I cities. All was quiet, tranquil, and 
 I happy, till, to the misfortune of this 
 I couple, and of this county, the Mar- 
 qiiis of Ileadfort made his appearance 
 I at Limerick. Mr. Massy happened 
 to have had some years since a living 
 in the county of Meath, where Lady 
 Bcrtive, the mother of the Marcjuis 
 of Headfort, was a principal parish- 
 ioner, and from w!iom, during his re- 
 sidence in the parish, Mr. Massy re- 
 ceived much polite and hospitable 
 attention; fiom this circumstance of 
 his ac(iuaintancf with her, Mr. Massy 
 waited on her son, on his arrival at 
 Limerick, invited him to his house, 
 and strained his narrow means to give 
 the son of Lady Bective every proof 
 of his sense of her former attentions 
 and politeness; but, whilst indulging 
 tlie hospitable spirit of our country, 
 little did Mr. Massy think he whs in- 
 troducing into his house the man who 
 could conceive the blackest and basest 
 designs against his peace and honour; 
 that this stranger, so hospitably re- 
 ceived, and affectionately cherished, 
 was to pour |)oison into his peace, and 
 make him a wretch; for no reason- 
 able man could suppose that Lord 
 Headfort, at his time, vvf.uld ever dis- 
 tuib the peace of any family — his age 
 (for he was above tifty), his figure, 
 his face, made such a supposition not 
 only improbable, but almost ridicu- 
 ous; yet so it happened, this hoary 
 veterr.n, in whom, like iEtna, the 
 siiow above, did not quench the flames 
 below, looked at Mrs. Massy, and 
 marked her for ruin Lord-Headfort 
 S|.ent four days at Summer-hill, on his 
 first visit, and was introduced by Mr. 
 Massy to the gentlemen of the tirst
 
 98 
 
 Literarif Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Events j 
 
 rank and consideration in I lie count \ 
 the Bisliop of LitiiTiclx, brotht-r-Jii 
 law to Mr iVIdssy, and tvery otlie; 
 gentleman and nobleman in the rieigi - 
 boinhood. 1 need not, in this nu-s! 
 ' bo.suituble part of Ireland, inentioi 
 to \«iii the coii-equence Lord iiearl 
 fort u;is received, eiiteitained, an^: 
 cherislied, by the friends and relative: 
 of Mr. Massy. Whilst jNlr. Massy 
 \vasen(loavouiiiip, by every polite aiic 
 hospitable attention in his power, ti' 
 render his temporary stay in thi^ 
 country not unpleasant to him, sonu 
 ano:i}inous lellrrs first created in tli- 
 breast of the plaintift', not suspicioi- 
 but conveyed an inliiuation, that tin 
 ]SIarquis of Heailfort was too atten- 
 tive to Mrs. Massy. Too confident 
 in the virtue of his wife, too gcncrou^ 
 to credit iuforniation so conveyed, and 
 yet too prudent wholly to overlook oi 
 tlisre^ard it. Mr Massy prohibited 
 his wife's visits to Limerick; and lhi«« 
 was followed up l)y inlimalino; to Lord 
 Hcadfort, that his lordship's visits 
 would be disiiensed with at Suninier- 
 hill, his (Mr. MassyV) place of rtsi- 
 dence. Lord Head fort's visits were 
 discontinued ; his lordship promised 
 not to repeat them. It will shcrck 
 and appal you, Gentlenini, fo hear 
 the time ar.d occasion wliich L^rd 
 lieadfort selected for the final accom- 
 plishment of his desi;;ns upon the ho- 
 nour of this unfortunate woman, and 
 the ha}>piuess of his host and his 
 friend. The day was Sunday, the 
 hour the time of Divine Service ; yr .s, 
 Gentlemen, on that day, and on that 
 hour, set apart for the service of our 
 Creator, whilst the revcrcjid rector 
 was bendiuij before the altar of hiv 
 God, hivok ng blessings, not only on 
 his flock there assembled, but on the 
 iieads of the unfeelinj» and protligate 
 destroyers of his comfort and honour; 
 on such a day, at such an liour, ujion 
 suoli an occasion, did the noble mar- 
 quis thmk proper to commit this lio- 
 Muuiuble breach of hospitable failh. 
 
 iiiis hi^h-minded violation of tlie little 
 laws of your diminutive country, this 
 contempt, I would almost call it this 
 defiance of the Almii;iity hi^jjself !— 
 1 have to state, what wil! be proved, 
 'hat on Su.iday, and at this hour, 
 "^larquis Meadfurt to 'k oft'.Mrs. Massy 
 (ronj her husband's house, at Sunmier- 
 i'ill; they crossed the Sliannon in a 
 boat, iLjot into a chaise in waiting for 
 them on the road, and from tlui'.ce 
 posted to Fallas, ei<;hteen or nineteen 
 miles only from Sumnier-hill; there 
 ^e and Mrs. Massy, heedless of the 
 misery and distraction of her unha)fpy 
 husband, remaiiiert in ihi-same room 
 the whole of Sujjd.iy miilit :— the no- 
 ble peer did not «ly — no — he made 
 sliort and »asy sta'.'es— not fearful i>f 
 pursuit, nor as a ciimivial endeavour- 
 ing to tfl'eet his escape ; but as a con- 
 queror, parading slowly through the 
 country, and quietly enjo>ing the glory 
 and honour of his triumph. What 
 was histrimuph? The (h-struction of 
 the friend he madtlencd witli agony, 
 the pollution of a (till then) spctUss 
 and innocent woman. From Pallas, 
 lis lordship pur-ued his route to Clon- 
 mel, and there rested a night ; from 
 : hence" to W^aterfiird, then toHfigland; 
 where, I tru>t, he wid ever remain; 
 because I am satislieil that no advan- 
 tage to be derived to the coimtry from 
 the most ampIS fortune expended 
 here, could C(;untervail the mischiefs 
 tluit must fiow frou) the apj>Iicatiou 
 of eivormons uealth to e\trav:igunt 
 vices, and tiie example of such pro- 
 digal profligacy amongst us. 
 
 Here several witnesses were callcil 
 in, whose evidence corroborated the 
 foregoing circum>tancfs, when the 
 counsel for plaint iff closed his case. 
 
 Mr. Quinn stated the case for tlic 
 defendant. He insisted that the plain- 
 tiff was a careless and negligent hus- 
 band ; that Mrs. Massy was young, 
 volatile, and giddy; beautiful and 
 vain; of nncomiiion levity of dispo- 
 sitiuu, and addicted to the luve of
 
 luleresllng Narratives, Ewgnias, Epigrams, Poeln/, Sec. 
 
 99 
 
 dre^s.evtubevoixl tlio orHinary passion 
 of her sex She pas^erl, he said, 
 iiioiithN at the houses of single |:,a'nfli'- 
 lUfii, unacconipa- ioil or uiiiitrendcd, 
 save occasionallv hy Hic plaintitf ; and 
 at Galway in particular, where sh« 
 went on an pscursi»tn, tlie altcniions 
 of a militaiy man of rank bccau.e so 
 reniajkiblf, and her eucourauenicnt 
 so glaring', that her own cosmertions 
 found it neces'iary to snairh h**v froni 
 the «;pof, as from iinpondmi: inf.uiiy, 
 and hurried her to Linutick Thus 
 cnuai^ed in fa'^hionahlc hfe, dofeiidanl 
 mt t her fnsl at the rac<'s of Limerick, 
 flieii at the races «<f 'MalloH-, uiiat- 
 tend( d by the plaintilV at either place ; 
 the attentions of a man of such su- 
 perior rank were too tlalterinfj to be 
 jeclincd — they passed unflir pubhc 
 observation at all places of public and 
 private fashionable resort; tlie eyes 
 of all companies were fixed upon 
 then'., aM her receplior. of them bt in;;; 
 too obvimis to pass uiinuticed, became 
 the subject of general convcrsaliou 
 ?he av«tMeci to lier relations her at- 
 taclimeui to the defendant, and her 
 determination to go vA' wilh hin». 
 
 Coionel IVpper met the plaintiff in 
 company with his wife, at tlie Riar- 
 tpiis of Hcadfoit's. Tlie latter paid 
 her nuifh attention in the husband's 
 presence, and she seemed nuich flat- 
 tered by it. His atteiitions were so 
 marled that they drew the observa- 
 tion of the gentlenieij at the table. 
 Tlie company were generally com- 
 posed of the ofHcers of the Marcpiis 
 of Headfort's regiment. 
 
 Mr G. Ponsonby made a very able 
 speech to evidence on the part of the 
 defendant ; and Mr. Ciirran addressed 
 the jury on behvdf of the plaintiff. 
 
 Baron Smith recapitulated the evi- 
 dence, as it appeared upon his notes, 
 and closed his char,';e without any for- 
 Iher observation on the law. The 
 trial lasted twelve hours. A'erdict for 
 the plaintiff, at twelve o'clock at 
 iiinht, ten Ihomand pounds, wilh 
 tests. 
 
 Mr. George Morliind. 
 
 THIS Artist was fond of visiting 
 the Isle of Wiiiht, and there is scaice- 
 Iv an object to be met wilh aUniir the 
 bore at the back of the island, that 
 his pencil has not delineated. His 
 best pirtr.res are replete with scenes 
 drawn from this spot. A fine rocky 
 shore, with tishermeii mending their 
 nets, careening their boats or senrling 
 off their fish to the neighbouring mar- 
 ket towns, were scenes he most de» 
 iichted ill when he attempted sea- 
 shore pieces; and tlie Isle of \Vi',:hk 
 afforded abundant o;^^>«rtunilies to 
 gratify his taste and fancy. 
 
 A few years since he was rccogriloed 
 in this his constant summer excursion, 
 at a place called Freshwater-Gate, iti 
 a low pubiic-house, known by the 
 name of "The Cabin." A number 
 of- fishermen, a few sailors, and tliiee 
 or four rustics, formed the homely 
 trri'up: he was in the midst ui them, 
 contributing his joke, and partaking 
 of their IK isy merriment, when his 
 frictid called him aside, and intreated 
 an hour of his company. Morland, 
 with some reUittauce, withdrew from 
 the Cabin, and <m his friend's remon- 
 strating with him the next day for 
 keeping such company, he drew from 
 lii- pocket a sketch-book, and asked 
 u iiere he was to find so true a picture 
 '>f humble life, tmless it was in such a 
 plate as that from which his friend 
 iiad withdrawn him. The sketch was 
 a correct delineation of every ihing in 
 the Cabin tap-room, even to a counte- 
 nance, a stool, a settle, or the position 
 of a figure. This representation his 
 remembrance had supiiod, after leav- 
 in<_' the house; and one of his best pic- 
 tures is that very scene he then sketch- 
 ed — a proof that his mind was still 
 intent on his favourite pursuit, that of 
 nature in her homeliest attire, though 
 his manners at the moment betrayed 
 nothiuij further than eagerness to par- 
 ticipate in the vulgar sensualities of 
 his surrouuding companions.
 
 100 Liiterari/ Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Within these two last years his ex- 
 cesses were so great, that for months 
 he wasted his time in the company of 
 grooms and pugilists; and then in a 
 sober fit would return to the pencil, 
 the vigour of which was as conspicuous 
 as his follies and dissipation were re- 
 prehensible. About a year ago he 
 was attacked with an apoplectic fit, 
 and since that time there has been a 
 lamentable falling off in his produc- 
 tions. Both his health and his talent? 
 have been on the decline. — Liberal 
 and extravagant, he was seldom out 
 of debt, and to the rude assaults of 
 the merciless bailiff he was no stranger. 
 Hegardless of his talents, he was a few 
 days ago arrested and lodged in a 
 spunging-house, where he expired! 
 who, with common prudence, might 
 have lived in a palace, and have kept 
 the first company of the land. 
 
 Several years ago, Morland, to 
 avoid his creditors, retired from pub- 
 lic sight, and lived very obscurely 
 near Hackney; some of the neigh- 
 hours, from his extreme privacy and 
 other circumstances, entertained a 
 notion that he was either a coiner or 
 a fabricator of forged bank notes, and ■ 
 which suspicion being communicated 
 at the Bank, the Directors sent some 
 Police Officers to search tise house, 
 and if guilt should appear, to take the 
 offender into custody; upon their 
 arrival, they were soon observed by 
 Morland, who, understanding iliem to 
 be a bailiff and his followers, come in 
 quest of himself, immediately retreat- 
 ed into the garden, went out of a 
 back door, and ran over the brick- 
 4ie!ds towards Hoxlon, and then to 
 London. Mrs. Morland, trembling 
 ^yitll surprise, opened the front door, 
 when tlie police officers entered, and 
 began to search the house ; but upon 
 an explanation taking place^ and upon 
 her assuring them, with an unaffected 
 simplicity (so very evidently the natu- 
 ral result of truth), that they were 
 Ifnistaken, aud likewise informing theni 
 
 the cause of his flight, and on their 
 discovering little more in the house 
 than some very exellcnt unfinished 
 pictures, which even in these n)en ex- 
 cited sentiments of admiratif)n and 
 respect, they were convinced of the 
 mistake, and retired, — Upon commu- 
 nicating the result of their search to 
 the Directors of the Bank, that they 
 had made no discovery of Bank-notes, 
 bat that it was Morland the painter's 
 retreat from his creditors they had 
 chanced to discover, and an account of 
 his flight to avoid them as bailiffs, the 
 Directors of the Bank commiserated 
 the pecuniary embarrassment of this 
 unfortunate genius, and also on ac- 
 count of the trouble they had unin- 
 tentionally given him, generously sent 
 him, as a voluntary present, two Bank- 
 notes of 201. each. 
 
 Bell's Messenger, Nov. 5, 1804, 
 
 SIR ISAAC NEWTOX. 
 
 Born Dec. 25, 1642, died March 20, 1726. 
 
 IN Westminster Abbey is an elegant 
 monnment, with appropriate figures, to tlie 
 memory of the immortal Newton, with the 
 following Latin inscription : — 
 
 " Here is deposited Sin Isaac Newton', 
 Knight, wlio, by the light of mathemalical 
 learning, and a force of mind almost divine, 
 first explained the motions and figures of 
 the planets aud planetary orbits: the paths 
 of the comets, the tides, and the ocean : and 
 discovered, what no one before had ever sus- 
 pected, the difTerence of the rays of light, and 
 the distinction of colours thence arising. He 
 was a diligent, faithful, and ptnetrating in- 
 terpreter of Nature, of Antiquity, and the 
 Holy Scripture. By his philosophy he as- 
 serted the Majesty of God, the greatest and 
 most glorious of all Beings ; aud by his 
 morals expressed the simplicity of tlie Gos-- 
 pel. Let mortals congratulate tLemselves, 
 that there has been so great, so good a man, 
 the glory of the human race." 
 
 Thefo'.louing Couplet^was intended/or hiss 
 monur.ient. By Mr. Pope. 
 
 NATURE and Nature's laws lay bid io 
 
 night: 
 God gaid; Let Newton le, and all wag Ji|ht«
 
 Interesting Narralhes^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetn/, &'C. lOl 
 
 The Rhyming Apothecary. 
 
 A. MAN, io many a coantry (own, wt 
 know, 
 
 Professin Of openly with death (o wrestle 
 Ent'ring I'le field against the grimly foe 
 
 Arm'd with a moriar and a pestle, 
 Yet some affirm, nopnemies (hey are ; 
 But meet just like priie-figlilfr.s in a fair, 
 VTho first shake hands before they box, 
 Then give each other pia^ny knocks 
 With all the love and kindness of a hrother: 
 " So," many a siiiii iiig patieat saitb, 
 " Tbonf.l, the apothecary fio^ht with death. 
 Still they're sworn friends to one another " 
 
 A member of this ^.sciilapian line 
 In Thanet liv'd, and lov'd his wine, 
 
 No man could better gild a pill, 
 
 Or make a Ijill ; 
 Or mix a draught, or bleed, or blister ; 
 
 Or draw a tooth out of your head. 
 
 Or chatter scandal by yoar bed, 
 Or give a glister. 
 
 Of occupations these were quantum suff.; 
 
 Yet still he thought the list not long enough ; 
 
 And therefore midwifery he cbnse to pir, tot. 
 This balaoc'd fhiug.n; (or if he hurl'd 
 A few score mortals from the world, 
 
 He made amends, by bringing others into 't 
 
 His fame around the island ran ; 
 
 In short; in reputation he was soltis ; 
 All the old women call'dhim "a fine man!" 
 
 His name was Bolus. 
 
 Benjamin Bolns, though in trade, 
 
 Which sometimes great genius fettery. 
 
 Read works of fancy it is said ; 
 And cultivated the belles tettres, 
 
 And why should this be thoHgbt so odd ? 
 
 Can't men have taste who cure a pblhysic? 
 The poets have their patron God : 
 
 Apollo patronises physic. 
 Bolus lov'd verse, and took so much delight 
 
 in't. 
 That his directions he resolv'd to write in't. 
 
 No opportunity he e"er let pass 
 Of vrriting the directions on his labels. 
 In dapper couplets, like Gays Fables, 
 
 Or, rather, like the lines in Hudibras. 
 
 Apothecaries rhyme ! and where's the trea- 
 son? 
 'Tis simply honest dealing— not a fanlt. 
 
 When patients swallow physic without 
 reason, 
 Is it not fair to give a little salt ? 
 
 He had a patient lying at death's door. 
 
 Some five miles from the town— it might be 
 more. 
 
 To whom, one evening, Bolns sent an arti- 
 cle 
 
 Jn pharmacy, that's called catiiarlical j 
 
 And on the label of the stuff 
 
 He wrote this verse. 
 Which, one would think, was clear enougb. 
 
 And terse : 
 
 " When taken, 
 
 To be well shaken." 
 
 N'ext morning, early, Bolns ro?e. 
 And to St. Nicholas be goes 
 
 Upon his pad, 
 
 Who a vile trick of stnmbling haJ, 
 It was indeed a very sorry hack: 
 
 But that's of coarse ; 
 
 For, what's expected from a horse 
 With an apothecary on bis back ? 
 
 Bolus ariv'd : and gave a doubtful rxp. 
 Between a single and a double rap. 
 
 Knocks of this kind 
 Are given by gentlemen who teach to dance. 
 
 By fiddlers, and by opera-singers ; 
 One loud ; and then, a little one behind; 
 As if the knocker fell by chance 
 
 Out of their fingers. 
 
 The servant lets him in, with dismal face^ 
 Long as a courtier's out of place, 
 
 Portending some disaster. 
 John's countenance as rueful look'd, and 
 
 grim. 
 As if th' apothecary had physlck'd Aiot, 
 
 And not his master. 
 
 " Well how's the patient V Bolns said, 
 John shook bis head ! 
 •' Indeed ! hum ! ha ! that's very odd ! 
 He took the draught ?"— John gave a nod. 
 •' Well, how ? what then ? speak out yoa 
 
 dunce. ' 
 " Why. then," said John, « we shookhim 
 
 once." 
 " Shook him ? how !" Bolus stammer'd on!. 
 " We jolted him about." 
 " Zounds ! shake a patient, man 1 a shake 
 
 won't do !" 
 " No, sir ; and so we gave him two.'* 
 
 " Two shakes I odds curse ! 
 " 'Twould make the patient worse." 
 " It did so, sir ? and then a third v*e tried." 
 " Well ! and what then ? Then, sir, alasl" 
 Said John, '•' my master died." 
 
 ON A YOUNG GENTLEMAN. 
 
 fVho killed himself by drinking Strong Beer 
 called October. 
 
 HEPtEliel must, 
 Wrapp'd up in dust. 
 
 Confined to be sober; 
 Clarke* take care. 
 Lest yon come here. 
 
 For faith here's no October. 
 
 fBis ^ot'cam-panion.
 
 102 Lilerary CimosUka, Epitaphs, Wonderful Etients, 
 
 A Fremh Miser. 
 
 INIR. VANDILLR was the most 
 renuiikable m,\r in Paris, both on 
 account of |ii> immense riches, ano 
 his extieme avarice. Ife lodged n 
 high as the rocf would admit him, 
 to avoid noise or visits, maintaine(' 
 one poor old woman to attend him 
 in his garret fallowed her only seven 
 sous f)er v\eek, or a penny per diem 
 His u.siial diet wa*; brend and milk ; 
 and for indulgence, S'Ome poor bour 
 wine on Sunday; on which day he 
 constantly gave one fn rihino to the 
 poor, beinj: a shiliinu and a penny 
 per aniuim : which he cast up. and 
 after his death, his extensive charity 
 amounted to 43*. Ad. 
 
 This prudent economist had been 
 a rnai;l!^trate or officer at Boulogne, 
 from which obscurity he was promot- 
 ed to Paris, foi the reputation of his 
 wealth, which he lent upon undeni- 
 able security to the public funds, not 
 caring to trust individuals with liis 
 life and soul. ^Vhile a magistrate at 
 Boulojiiio, he maintained himself by 
 taking upon himself to be milk tast- 
 er-general at the market ; and from 
 one to another filled his belly, and 
 washed down his bread, at no ex- 
 pense of his own; not, doubtless, 
 from any other principle than that 
 of serving the public, and regulating 
 the goodness of the milk. VViicn he 
 was called to Paris, knowing that 
 stage vehicles were expensive, he 
 determined to go thither on foot ; and, 
 to avoid bfMug robbed, he took care 
 to export with himself neither moie 
 nor less than the considerable sum of 
 threepence sterling, to carry him 130 
 miles; and with the greater facility 
 to execute his plan of operation, he 
 went in the qriality of a poor priest, 
 ■ or mendicant, and, no doubt, gather- 
 ed some few pence on the road, fiom 
 such pious and well disposed persons 
 of the country who were strangers 
 to him. 
 
 ' The great value a miser g,nnexes 
 '" a larthing will make us less sur- 
 
 >rised at the 'nfinite attachment he 
 
 oust have to a guinea, of which it 
 II the seed, growing by gentle grada- 
 tions, into pence, shillings, pounds, 
 thousands, and ten thousands; wiicli 
 made this worthy connoisseur sav, 
 ■'Take care of the farthings, and the 
 iience and shdlings will take care of 
 themselves :" *■ these semina of wealth 
 may be compaied to seconds of 
 lime, wliich generate years, centuries, 
 and even eternity itself." 
 
 When he became imniensly rich, 
 being, in the year 1735, worth seven 
 or eight hundred thousand pounds, 
 which he begot or multiplied on the 
 body of a single shilling, from the 
 age of Id to the age of 72, one day 
 he heard a woodman going by in the 
 summer, at which season they stock 
 themselves with fuel for the winter; 
 he agreed with him at the lowest rate 
 possible, but stole from the poor man 
 several logs, with which he loaded 
 himself to his secret hiding hole ; and 
 thus contracted in that hot season a 
 fever; he then sent for a surgeon to 
 i)leed him, who asking half a livre for 
 the operation, was dismissed ; he tl),en 
 •ent fora poor barber, who undertook 
 to open a vein for three-pence a time, 
 
 ' but," says this worthy economist, 
 ''how often will it be re(juisite to 
 bleed." " Three times,'' said he,— 
 " And what quantity of blood do you 
 intend to take?" — *' About eight 
 ounces each time," answered the bar- 
 ber. " That will be nine-pence ; too 
 much, too much," says the old miser. 
 '' I am determined to go a cheaper 
 way to work ; take the whole quantity 
 you designed to take at threo timca, 
 at one time, and that will save me 
 sixpence ;" which being insisted on, 
 he lost S-l ounces of blood, and died 
 irr a few days, leaving all his vast 
 
 leastires to the King, whom he niadp 
 his sole heir. 
 
 Bell's Messenger, Dec. 18G4,
 
 Intereslins^ Narratives^ Enlgmasy Fpfs:rams, Poetn/, Sc. 1^3 
 
 Singvlar Characfer. 
 
 WHEN we are at peace with tlu 
 world, and the world is at peace with 
 us, the summer lambleis of Eiiiilaml 
 visit the coi.tinent, and "o thioiigli 
 Fiance to Switzerland, where with 
 out any relish of the peculiar circum- 
 stances of the country, they spend 
 their time most dolefully. At their 
 returnthey tiiumph over the i;;noranc< 
 of those who never strayed fiDm home, 
 and assure them of the inlinile plea- 
 sure they have received from their 
 tour. 
 
 liut when war confines us within 
 our own island, we "o as far as we 
 can, that is to the sifa-coaef, which 
 must serve instead of goin^ farther. 
 
 AU well-frequented watering-places 
 offer to the attentive observer a gieat 
 variety of characters more or less 
 amusing. Some few really come for 
 health, some fot- pleasure; but wiih 
 most the motive is idleness — persons 
 to whom not only the day but every 
 hour is much too long —persons, a-. 
 Ranger in the play ex])re-ses it, "who 
 had rather go to the devil than stay 
 at home." Sometimes we meet with 
 an agreeable exception, and some- 
 times with an oddity. 
 
 A week's residence at Weymouth 
 gave me an opportunity of conversing 
 with a singular character. We had 
 often met — at the coffee-house — at 
 the library, and had made some little 
 progress^ toward an acquaintance ; 
 when, without any provocation on 
 my part, he seemed rather to shun 
 than to seek me. However we were 
 accidentally obscured in the camera 
 obscure, and could not well avoid 
 going down the hill in company to- 
 gether, when he expressed himself 
 nearly in this manner : "I am afraid 
 j'ou think me something worse than an 
 oddfellow?" To wjnch, receiving no 
 reply, he continued — " I confess the 
 apparent absurdity of my way of life. 
 It is upoa a principal which diflbrs so 
 
 much trom common custom, that it 
 ie- poifeclly open to attacks which I 
 ^liall not even attempt to repel. I am 
 content to bethought incapable of de- 
 fending myself; and, if non re^istancc 
 none paitN can communicate any 
 uonour to the other, my adveisary 
 may enjoy all the triumph of such a 
 victory : my sy^h'in is my own, and 
 made for myself alone 
 
 '■'In my eaily days I was not long 
 in observing that by lar the greatest 
 part of life's troubles were not made 
 upon our own account but th n of 
 otheis; that it was in the power of 
 one person to make an hundred ujiser- 
 able, by their partaking of his per- 
 sonal afflictions ; but that he could 
 make but one happy by partaking 
 of his personal pleasures. '1 hi- is 
 undoubtedly a losing trade, but yet 
 this is the commtrce of society. A 
 man of a philanthropic temper be- 
 comes acquainted with those about 
 him ; his acquaintance with some 
 produces fiiend-hip, at.d his friend- 
 ^.hips produce sorrow. — Every trouble 
 of mind, or disease of your triends, 
 effects you: it is true you also partici- 
 pate their pleasures, as lar as they 
 can be communicated ; but the-e are 
 not in equal pi'oporiions 
 
 " Should youi friend increase his 
 possessions, you are not. the richer: 
 but if he is in want, you are the 
 poorer. If he be in health, as it li a 
 thing in course, you do not rejoice; 
 liut if he is sick, you mourn. Jf he 
 possesses an agreeable wiie, -you have 
 none of his pleasure ; but if he loses 
 her, his pain is poured into your 
 bosom. 
 
 ** Suppose life passes without any 
 exertions of friend- hip, but ineuly in 
 a belief that if they were required 
 they would be made : I then see my 
 friend advance in years; he loses hi$ 
 person and strength by degrees ; 
 death sets his mark upon him, and 
 at last he claims him for his own. — 
 What 1 see in him he sees in Rae; ar.d
 
 lOi 'Literary Curio&Ifies, F.pifnphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 all tlutse sensations are multiplied ac- 
 cording to the number of our intimate 
 connections. 
 
 "Tally sensible of this truth, I ver\ 
 early in life determined to have no 
 friend at all. To accomplish this in- 
 tention, my plan h^s been to shift my 
 residence from place to place ; to 
 have many acqunintances, but no 
 fiiends. The common scenes uf pub- 
 lic amusement I visit occasionally, 
 and sometimes bury my«elf in London. 
 If I wish to improve, I iclire; if to 
 amuse myself, I join in such acciden- 
 tal parties as occur; and, like the 
 Lutterfly, play among the flowers, 
 but tix on none. If an acquaintance 
 with an agreeable person improvo> 
 too fast, and I begin to feel something 
 like an attachment, I take it as a 
 Lint for sliifiiiig my quarters, and 
 <1ecamp before the fetter is fastened. 
 To confess the truth, I more than 
 suspect that I have been too lone 
 acquainted with you: I shall quit 
 this place immediately, lest to-m.or- 
 xow I should feel myself your friend." 
 
 He then redoubled his pace, as if 
 willing to avoid my reply. I indulged 
 liim in his wish, and was not sorry to 
 i^c excused from continuing a conver- 
 sation 1 could not support with any 
 other than common argument^, which 
 seldom have any etTect upon tho'-c 
 "ivho so boldly differ from principles 
 long established and supposed to be 
 iruc. I. C. 
 
 Three Black Crows. 
 
 THIS lale will raise your wonders I snp- 
 
 pose, 
 What can the meaning- be of three black 
 
 crows? 
 I! is a London slory you niii«tt kHow, 
 And happen 'J as ilxcy say not long- ago, 
 The oieaninyr of it cnstom would suppress, 
 Till at the end — and leave yon then to guess; 
 Bnt tho', it diifers from the ways of old, 
 I'o tell the moral ere the tale l>etold ; 
 For once v» ill give a hint for to apply 
 The meaning lirst,and hang the tale thereby. 
 TfnpU'. too oft are put into a pother, 
 fur want of uoderstauding one another ; 
 
 And strano'e amazing stories runabout. 
 Which come to nothing when you trace 'em 
 
 out ; 
 I'ies of a day, perhaps a month, a year, 
 When fierv'd their purposes, quickly disap- 
 pear ; 
 From whence, mean while, disputes of every 
 
 size 
 That is to misunderstandings rise: 
 Tlie springs of ill from bickering up to battle, 
 Krom uoiseand tumults down to tittle tattle. 
 By hasty rendering of too rash assent, 
 Behold how meanings which v*'ere never 
 
 meant 
 Will fly about, not much unlike black 
 
 crows. 
 The selfsame breed of which the story goes. 
 Two honest tradesmen metling in the 
 
 Strand, 
 One took the other kindly by the hand. 
 Hark you, says he, 'tis an odd story this. 
 About the crows — I don'i know what it i^, 
 Reply'd his friend. i;o, I'm surprised at 
 
 that. 
 From whence T came it is the common chat ; 
 Xot to detain yon of a thing so strange, 
 A gentleman that lives not far from Change, 
 This week in short as all the Alley knows. 
 Taking a puke, has thrown up three black 
 
 crows. 
 Impossible. Nay, sir, 'tis really troo, 
 I had it from good hands, and so may you ; 
 From wLauce I pray, and having named the 
 
 man, 
 Straighttoenquire,hi8 curious comrade ran. 
 Sir, did you tell, (relating the afliiir) 
 Yes sir, I did, and it is worth your ear; 
 Ask Mr. snch-a-one, he told it me. 
 But by the by, 'twas two black crows, not 
 
 three : 
 Resolved to trace so wond'rousan event 
 Whip to the third this virtuoso went. 
 Sir, and so forth, the thing is fact, 
 Tho' in regard to number not exact : 
 It was not two black crows, hut only one, 
 The truth of that you may depend upon ; 
 The gentleman himself told me the case. 
 Where may I meet him pray ? — In such a 
 
 place ; 
 Away he goes, and having found him out, 
 Sir, be so kind as to resolve a donbt : 
 So to his last informant he referr'd. 
 Him, then he ask'd, if true, what he had 
 
 heard ; 
 Did you throw np a black crow sir ? Not I, 
 Bless me, how people propagate a lie : 
 Black crows have been thrown up, three, 
 
 tv»o, and one. 
 And here I find all come at last to none: 
 Did you say nothing of a crow at all ? 
 Crow, crow, perhaps I might, now I recal 
 The matter o'er — pray tell sir, what xvas't? 
 Why I was very sick, and so at last, 
 1 did throw up, and told my neighbour so, 
 Something that was as black aa any crow.
 
 Inter estins^ Narralkes^ Fr}fs:mas, Ep/o-rams^ Poetn/^ SiC. 105 
 
 The conceal d I^lurrlage. 
 
 ^lARlA STAPLETON was \\v 
 
 daughter of a witlow hdy of smul 
 fortune, whicli consisted priiitipnl:\ 
 of a pensioii, iillowtd her bv a "wM 
 tnidiug conipdny, in conseqiienre of 
 her huslrand linving lost his life \vhil« 
 enj;at:ed in their service, 'liie beaut> 
 cf Maria, and her acquired arrom 
 ))lishments, altracfed the attention t.\ 
 nil wiioknew her, but especia!!y f-l 
 'Mr. Geo me Devreux, a >cuiii: cnlle 
 man who had inliotitrd from his fither 
 ;\n estiite of two thon^iiini a year, bn' 
 clogoed with a condition in ftivcr <>( 
 Ihe daughlt r of his uncle (liis father 
 cunceivinc; hiiuself to be under parti- 
 cular obligations to his brother) b\ 
 which he was restrained from n)arry 
 ing before he was thirty, except to onr 
 of his cons ns, or at hast with the 
 Consent of his uncle; on pain of los- 
 ing one-half of his estate, which it 
 was in his father's pow< r to dt-vis* 
 irom him by will, and which, in that 
 ra<e, was to pnss to the dan^-hters <d 
 Ids uncle. His father had lixed on 
 IJie age of thirty, as that mature 
 period of life, when the vi'.hnt pas- 
 jions of early youth would begin to 
 subside; and as his cousins were 
 young ladies of no inconsiderable for- 
 tune and expectations, if they then 
 continued unmarried, prudence mi^ht 
 be expected to take the place of 
 Ihoughil^ss love, and produce an union 
 for life, according to tli« wishes, ani^ 
 indeed the last solemn injunction, of 
 a parent, solicitous for what he dreni- 
 ed the honor and happiness of his son; 
 But as Love, at the least idea of 
 restraint, 
 
 ' daps bis light wiugs and in a moment flies." 
 
 Mr. Devrenx, before he met witi' 
 Miss Stapleton, made very slow ad- 
 vances towards gaining the affections 
 of either the ladies reconmiended to 
 bis attention by bis father; but aftei 
 iie bad seen Maria, Ibey became 
 
 almost bis aversion. But before he 
 could contract the union he so ardent- 
 ly wished, with her he so tenderly 
 I. ved, several years must elapse, or a 
 forf itnre to which he could not bring 
 'iimself to con-^cnt, must be incurred, 
 Of these years, one or two were 
 passed in patient expectation; but at 
 length, lov'e in s('me dei^rte overcom- 
 ing prudence, lie jjroposed to li;s Ma- 
 ria a secret marriage, with which, to 
 ! revent discovery, not even her mo- 
 ther was to be acmi. anted. To thisj, 
 Miss Sti pieloii, aft> r many earnest 
 solicitations, was, tiiou^h not with a 
 little reluctance, induicd to consent. 
 — Kvery thing was accordingly ar* 
 ranged by the niana;:cinent of Mr. 
 Devreiix, and they were married with 
 a privacv which he confidently believ- 
 ed mist elude any discovery, especi- 
 filly as it was his intention, when the 
 lime fame which set him at liberty, 
 to repeat the certinony in a public 
 irianiier, and remove every suspicion,, 
 if any might uri-ie, and thus prevent 
 a\\ further inquiry. 
 
 But scarcely had another twelve- 
 n;ontli elapsed, when a new > ifficulty 
 arose, for which a sufficien' |)ri para- 
 'ion had liot been made — Maiia dis- 
 covered that slie was pregnant What- 
 ever joy this event nii:ilit have given 
 to both l(,vers under other circum- 
 stances, it was now the cause of con- 
 siderable perpiexity. Mr. Devreux 
 ad aga'n rccouise to his fertile inven- 
 tion ; and, by his advice, Maria ap- 
 plied to her mother, for permission to 
 visit a feiiiale cquaintance, who had 
 iione to reside nt a great distance ill 
 the coui;try, and to stay with her for 
 I month or two. Mrs. Stapleton 
 readrlv consented, and her daughter, 
 oy the management of Mr. Devrt ux, 
 retired to some obscure apartments, 
 which he had procured for her, where 
 >[\f laid in with the greatest privacy ; it 
 being intended that when she »h<iuld 
 be recovered, she should return to 
 her mother, aod that the child should
 
 106 Lilerary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful E^enls, 
 
 be brouuht up privatelv, till the time 
 arrived, when their, marriage nii;/ht 
 be re-soleninized and openlv declared. 
 Letters, in the mean time, by Mr 
 Devreux's contrivance, were conveyed 
 to Rlrs. Stapleton from her daughter, 
 as if from the country, re(juestiii<; tlie 
 indulgence of a longer stay, and fix- 
 ing the time when she would return. 
 
 Maria had, from the first, been 
 anxiously desir(»us that her mother 
 should be admitted to a participation 
 of the secret; but Mr. Devreux well 
 knowing Mrs. Stapleton's ii. flexible 
 integrity, high sense of honour, and 
 uMer aversion to every tiling lliat had 
 the most distant rcseniblai.ee to arti- 
 lice and dissimulation, feared her 
 openness ol character might lead to 
 discovery, and could not be iitduced 
 to consent. The yielding Maria there- 
 fore acquiesced in his plan But, as 
 no art or cunning can infriliibly guard 
 against accident, a servant i;irl who 
 knew Maria chanced to (»btaiw a sight 
 of her, and informed her mother both 
 of the place of her retreat, and for 
 »»hat purpose she was there. Mrs 
 Stapleton, in the utmost distress, flew 
 to find her daui;ht<?t; and, thoui:h 
 not without some difhculty, at Ifngtii 
 obtained admission to her. Jfhe 
 found her in bed with her infant, and 
 not doubting but she h.td been dis- 
 honoured — " O Maria !"' exclaimed 
 |he, bursting into tears, and in the 
 most violent agitation, "what have 
 you done ? How have you thus dis- 
 graced yourself and n:e ? How have 
 yon thus rendered ns both v.retched ? 
 VVho is your seducer ? Tell nif that 
 1 ma> fly to revenge on him the misery 
 he has inflicted on us !" — Maria with 
 difliculty pacified her, and prevailed 
 ou her to listen to her story, which 
 she now related to her, without the 
 least reserve, c<injuring her to secrecy, 
 which Mrs. Stapleton, yielding to the 
 necessity of the case, readily promised; 
 though she did not forbear remonstra- 
 ting with her dau^jhler, in very strong; 
 
 terms, on her want of confidence in ■ 
 her, and on her j)roceeding to such a 
 length in an afiair of so great import- 
 ance, without even consulting her. 
 
 Maria soon after returned home; 
 but her long absence, some alteration 
 in her !t|;pearance, and certain hints 
 wh.ch had been given by the servant 
 girl, and were circulated in whispers 
 through the neighbourhood, rendered 
 nil her female acquaintances very shy 
 towards her: in fact, she found her- 
 self at last entirely excluded from 
 their society, since it was not in her 
 power to justify herself, without be- 
 tra\ing the secret, which it was of so 
 much consequence to her interest not 
 to disclose For another year, there- 
 fore, which was still to conie, befor? 
 her characler could be retrieved by 
 the open avowal of her marriage with 
 Mr. Devreux, poor Maria lived in a 
 !?tate of melancholy seclusion, and 
 compelled, as it were, taciily to re- 
 sign those pretensions to Iwinour and 
 virtue, which she had in reality never 
 forfeited. Her child, Mr. Devreux 
 did not think advisable that she should 
 ever see, lest such visits should lead 
 to a discovery; and Mrs. Stapleton 
 evidently suffered the greatest uneasi- 
 ness, from the suspicion^ light in 
 which bolii she and her daughter ap- 
 peared to their friends, without being 
 permitted to vindicate themselves by 
 declaring the truth, uhich, to a wo- 
 man of Mrs. Stapleton's high spirit, 
 and strict regard to her honour, was 
 a most painful humiliation; so that 
 but for the conscionsness of her inno- 
 cence, and her love for her husband, 
 life itself would have been a burden 
 to the unofi'euding but too yieldin*;; 
 Maria. 
 
 At length the time arrived wlieri 
 Mr. Devreux, set at liberty from the 
 restraint laid on him by his father's 
 will, prepared to carry into execution 
 his scheme of a public marriage with 
 Maria, to be celebrated with all the 
 splendor and festivity suitable to the
 
 Inlereslhig Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poeirt/, S,:c. 107 
 
 occasion. But while lie was Hiakiii* 
 arraii<;eineiits for lliis |)ui))05e, he 
 recoived a notice from a solicitor, 
 emplo>ed by his uncle, that an ^ctioii 
 would be immediately commenced, 
 under the will of his father, for tht 
 Iwlf of his e'Ntate, in consequence of 
 his maniase wirhout tlie consent of 
 \m \mr\e, and before the tisnt pre- 
 scriijed, of which they were in pos- 
 session of siifiirient proofs. 
 
 Mr. Devreux foun(i on inquiry, ih.it 
 by s«nie extraordinary accidental cir- | 
 cumsfanres, his uncle liad obtained 
 such proofs of llie fact, that it would 
 be in vain to attempt a dclenc*; he, 
 therefore, surrendered without a con- 
 test, wliat he knew he could not bope 
 to retain. 
 
 Thus was rendered fruitless all the 
 artifice of Mr. Devreux, while all the 
 uneasiness and mortification endured 
 by Maria and her mother, were 
 equally to no purpt.se. That which 
 might have been obtained by patience, 
 or yielded with «;enerosity, was lost 
 with some decree of disgrace and 
 much disappointment. Mrs. Stapitlon 
 and her dauj^hter, however, on reflec- 
 tion, were not displeased at the event ; 
 for they conceived, thai the suspicions 
 which liad iitlached to the character 
 of the latter, could only be removed 
 by a full and undeniable disclosure of 
 the truth ; and the disproof of these, 1 
 they considered as more than a con>- 
 pcnsation for the diminution of for- 
 tune. • 
 
 Jn Glasgow Church Yard. 
 
 HERE ligs Mess Andrew Gray, 
 Of whom ne niuckle good can I say ; 
 He wag ne Quaker, for kfi had ne spirit; 
 He wa« ne Papist, for h^ had ne ni»}rit ; 
 Hewasne Turk, for he drank miickle wine; 
 }{e was ne Jeic. for he eat aiiickle svrint'. 
 Full f'lrty years he preach'd and lee'd ; 
 For which God dom'd him when he dee'd. 
 
 iViUiam Rufus. 
 
 THE memory of Williaiu, surnain- 
 ed Rufus from his red hair and florid 
 complexion, is transmitted to us with 
 little advantage by the churchmen, 
 whom he had ofFendcd ; and though 
 • e may suspect that their account of 
 his vices is some>vhat exaaijcrated, his 
 conduct affords little reason for coiitra- 
 dictiu^ lilt character they have assign- 
 ed hjn5, or for attributing to hiui any 
 very estimable qualities 
 
 He seems to have been a violent 
 and tNrauiiical prince; a perfidious, 
 encroaching, and dangerous neigh- 
 bour; an unkind and ungenerous re- 
 lation. He was equally |)rodigaI and 
 rapacious in the .management of the 
 treasury; and if lie possessed abilities, 
 he lay so nmch und'-r the government 
 of impetuous passions, that he made 
 little use of them in his administration ; 
 and he indulged without reserve that 
 domineering policy, which suited his 
 temper, and which if supported, as 
 it was in him, with courage and vigour, 
 proves often more successful in disor- 
 derly times, than the deepest foresight 
 and most refined artifice. 
 
 The monuments which remain of 
 this prince in England are the Tower, 
 Westminster Hall, and London Bridge, 
 which he built. William llufus died 
 August 2, 1100, aged 40. 
 
 From Camden. 
 HERE lyelh Richard a Prefne, 
 One thousand, five hundred, eighty nine. 
 
 Of Maivh XX. day ; 
 And be that will dye after bim — may. 
 
 A Moderate Wish. 
 
 OF wealth ; ye powers, I want but lidla 
 
 store, 
 One cent, per annum, and I ask no more; 
 Give me content enough through life to pass. 
 By turn.'* a friend, a thought, a book, a 
 
 glass: 
 A verdant walk inductive to some shade, 
 Not form'd by art, but by kind nature 
 
 made ; 
 A pond, and on its bank a woodbine bower, 
 A little garden slor'd with ev'ry flow'r : 
 A female mate with virtue-sparkling eyes; 
 Her face not hand'ome, let her mind be wise ; 
 Of conversation innocently gay, 
 And manners gentle as the breatti of May J 
 Friend to my friends, a bitter foe Ic strife. 
 Kind to my children, and to me a wife. 
 
 f 2
 
 108 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Ecenls, 
 
 The Story oj an Ape, w/iich is trans- 
 mitted Upon the autliority of Mr. 
 'Jerry, X^haplain to Sir T'.omas 
 Hoe, Amhts&ndor fromtlie Court of 
 Great Britain, to tht Great Mogul. 
 
 THE Mogul givit'g credit to the 
 tricks and decibions of a->tiol()gers, 
 inagicians, and furttinc-te'K-rs, tln' 
 nation was soon filled wiih thi>. artliil 
 crew, one of whom, presented him 
 with an ape of his own tutoring, as 
 suring his majesty that the beast wa^ 
 able to pfvform many strange ano 
 surpiising tricks. The Kniperor re 
 ccived the present, on condition that 
 the ownei ofihe ;»pe would ^azard a 
 trial of his beast's skill to discover 
 secrets; and being both of them or- 
 dered to withdraw, the M( gul look 
 off his riuij f n m his finget, and gave 
 iftooneolhis boys; of which sort, 
 Ii'e generally kept about 200 about 
 him, foi unnatural and beastly uses, 
 and bid him hide it, and then crowd 
 all together in a knot : then, sending 
 for the ape and his master, now says 
 Lis n-*ajesty, let jour ape try liis skill, 
 I have lost my ring, let me see if your 
 ape can find it. The ma?ter com- 
 manded the ape to fetch the ring, and 
 the beast went immediately to the boy 
 who had it, and taking it out of his 
 bosom carried it to the Kmperor. 
 
 This struck the Mogul and all that 
 saw it with extreme surprise; the 
 master and his ape were then ordered 
 a second time to retire, and in their 
 absence, the Emperor cause<i his 
 secretary to write in several papers, 
 the mimes ot twelve or fourteen of 
 the greatest Gods and Prophets which 
 were either heard or known to be 
 wo!shi[)ped, eiiher in his country or 
 in any place in the world, and after 
 they were written, to be mingled in a 
 heHp and laid upon a table. Then 
 calling for the ape, he commanded 
 the beast to pick out from that parcel, 
 the name of the greatest God, and 
 IJruest Prophet ; ihe ape obeyed, and 
 
 lUinediately leaping upon the table, 
 turned over the whole heap, and taking 
 out the name of Jesus, dehvered 
 tlie paper which contained it to the 
 Mogul, to the astonishment ot all the 
 spectators. But lest there might be 
 some fraud in this essay, it was 
 resolved by the Mogul and his nobles 
 lo make another trial ; and the ape 
 and his master weie commanded into 
 H room at a great distance, to take olf 
 all su-'picion of any deceit, and the 
 papers were written over again, with 
 the same name?, and an addition of 
 some more ; yet, when the ape was 
 remanded to pick them a second time, 
 anil to make choice as formerly it had 
 i'len directed, the beast with great 
 reuditiess took from amongst the 
 whole parcel of papers newly wrote, 
 the same name of Jesus as before, to 
 the greater surprize of the Infidels and 
 other by-standers. However it was 
 resolved to tiy it a thiid time, and 
 the ape acquitted itself with the same 
 success. 
 
 Whereupon, Matollet Chan, i. e. 
 the beloved lord, a certain prince irt 
 great f.ivor at cou't, humbly request- 
 ed of the Emperor lo be permitted to 
 make a ftmrth trial of this amazing 
 trick, and obtaining the royal assent, 
 lie in the absence of the man and his 
 ape, caused the names to be written 
 again, and he having mingled them 
 togetl>er and cast them upon the table, 
 called for the ape, which was com- 
 manded as before, to seek out the 
 gieatest God or Piophet whose names 
 should be contained in those papers, 
 went immediately to the heap, and 
 scomfuUy turning them over, return- 
 ed to his master, without taking up 
 any paper. The Emperor and his 
 nobles wondered still more at this 
 proceeding than at what had been 
 done before, and asked the master 
 what might be the c;juse, why the ape 
 behaved in that scornful mnnner, and 
 brought no papers. Perluips replied 
 the masterj the naiBc which the ape
 
 Interesting Narralkes^ Enio^mas, Fpigrama, Poefn/, S<c. .W9 
 
 looked for, is not amongst tliein ; 
 vhich conjecture upon examinatioi 
 was found tr;ic, for iLe iiai.ie ol Je»iiv 
 •was mi5»ii)g. Then, savs ihe Mou':!. 
 lei the ape prove its s'dl!. bv ft-t(liii;i; 
 the pap«M wherein ihat name is writ- 
 ten : the ap'! receive'' ihe command, 
 leaped upon lilattoritt Chnn, aim 
 with its fiand drawiii;:; tlu- paper in 
 scribed with the name ot Jesus mii 
 of his bosom, and Helivcied it to th' 
 Emperor, in the -ic:ht of many M;i 
 hometans, Jews ani' Chiistians, whoi; 
 the novelty of the afi'air had drawi 
 to£elher. 
 
 Fatal Curiosity ; or happy Ignorance. 
 
 A BRAHMIN, fa; beyond hi^ 
 brcthieii ioth in powers of mind an.' 
 extent of i<ii()uled(:e, lived in habits of 
 great intimacy w ,ih an Enojivhrnan 
 who was tond of natural andc\|eii- 
 mental philosofhy; the Brahmin, 
 who had learned English, read th< 
 books ot his friend, searched into the 
 Cyclopaedia, and profited by Iiis philo- 
 sophical instruiiients. It hajipened 
 that the Engii-hman received a good 
 soiar micro cope Woxn Euiope ; he 
 displayed its wrindeis with delight to 
 the astonishment of the Brahnnn; 
 and cr.nvinced him by the undeniable 
 evidence ol his senses, that he and his 
 countiymen who ab'-taincd so scru- 
 pulously from any thina which had 
 life, devoured innumerable animal 
 culs upon every veoetable which they 
 ate. The Brahmin, instead of beino 
 delighted as his new friend had expec- 
 ted, became unusually thoughtful, 
 and at length retired in silence. On 
 his next visit he requested the geiule- 
 man would sell him the niicioscope; 
 to this it was replied, that ihe ih.nir 
 was a present from a friend in Europe, 
 and not to be replaced ; the Biahinm, 
 however, was not discouraaed by the 
 refusal ; he oflered a very large sum 
 of Rioney, or an Indian commoditv 
 ©f equal value, and at len-th the 
 
 iienileman, weary of resisting his im- 
 porluniiies, or unu iliing longer to le- 
 gist them, gave him the microscope-, 
 ihe eyes of the Himioo flashed witli 
 )oy, he teized the instrument, hasten- 
 ed from the viranda, caught up a large 
 stone, laid the microscope upon one of 
 the steps, anti in an instant smasiied 
 It to pieces. Having done this, he 
 -aid in leply to ihe angry reproaches 
 
 if his fiieiid, that when he was cool 
 he would pay him a visit and exi)lain 
 his reasons. Upon that visit he thus 
 addres-ed his friend : — 
 
 ' Oh that I had remained in that 
 happy state of ignorance in which you 
 found me ! Yet I confess, that as 
 my knowledge increased, so did my 
 pleasure, till 1 beheld the wonders of 
 the microscope: from that moment I 
 'lave been tormented by douots — I 
 
 im miserable, and must continue to 
 be so till I enter upon another stage 
 of existence. I am a snliiary in- 
 dividual among fifty millions of peo- 
 ple, all brought up in the same belief 
 as myself, and all happy in their 
 ignorance. I will keep the secret 
 within my own b(»som, it will destroy 
 my peace, but 1 shall have some satis- 
 faction in knowing that I aione feel 
 those doubts which, had I inri destroy- 
 ed the in-lrument, might have been 
 communicated to others, and render- 
 ed thousands wretched. Forgive nie, 
 my liiend — and bring here no more 
 
 inplemeiits of knowledge !' 
 
 Inscription on a Tomh-stone, in Ansty 
 Church-y.ird. 
 
 M\RY BKSI' lies buried here, 
 ITerage it was jii-t uiu; ty year : 
 'I'weuiy-eij^ht sl:e iiv'dii tiugie life. 
 And only Jour years \'»^ a wife: 
 S^fie liv'd a \> idow til'iy-eioht, 
 And died Jauuary 1 itli, eigiiiy -eight. 
 
 Epitaj)h 
 
 HERE lies (he man v»ho=phopse did gaice, 
 The bell, in rate, on Saiisbury plaiue. 
 iieader, T linow noi wh»i!-ei luedsit, 
 You or your horse rathtr to read it.
 
 1 10 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, fVonderful Etenls, 
 
 A Conversation between Buonaparte 
 and the late Queen of Prussia. 
 
 THE follovvina slo>\ has appeared 
 In a mornins; [)rtper. It is probably J< 
 febiicatinn, — but such as it is, the 
 reader niav be ainu ed 'i ith it : — Afte; 
 the pieliniiiirtries which led to the 
 treaty of TilsK weie adjtited, Buoiia 
 pailewa'i attended by the King of 
 Prussia in his own apaitiiieiil, wlieic 
 the uiifeihng conqinroi received hini 
 tt'ilb the "re;ite-t haiiiiiilineoS. *' Lei 
 
 me '■ee V'>iirvviie!" said he. 
 
 She h 
 
 at K()nig>biir<i, your IMajestf," " I 
 must see youi wi'e," sternly lepeated 
 the tyrant. " She will not come," 
 replied fiie huiiibled monarch ;" a 
 sense of the ii Junes she has latels 
 sti-taii.ed, w'l^uld forbid her attendini: 
 yiiii." " Let me see vour wife, or 1 
 ui'l not si<£i, a peace," achled the Cor- 
 sicaii. The K1112, reduced by the 
 tnot urpcnt necessity, sent a letter t.) 
 las cpueii, bes2oing her attendance; 
 but, as he expected, received a reply, 
 that she could not submit to the in- 
 teivievv, — The king communicated 
 this reply to Buonaparte, whoiinpeii- 
 ously rejoined, " If you do not your 
 self biiiig your wife to my presence 
 our negociations mu't end." Thus 
 humbled, the painful alternative re- 
 Diained, to prevail upon the queen to 
 comply, or take the consequences of 
 her final refusal. The king repaired 
 to Koniiisbuig, and his obedient queen 
 consented to appear before the Em- 
 perorof the Fiench ^\\\<mtprincelij 
 jvrince eyed her with an attention 
 bordering on rudeness. " I expected," 
 said he, addressing himself to her, 
 •' to see a fair queen, but I behold 
 the fairest of women." Then, turn- 
 ing to a stand of (lowers, he selected 
 from among them a rose, and, pre- 
 senting it, addefl, '* I ofliT the fairest 
 of flowers to the fairest of her sex." 
 The queen distantly rtplied, " Sir, 
 we aie not suiliciently acquainted for 
 me to receive this compliment ;" when 
 the polishcil iiuonapartc held il to 
 
 her, and, with a menacing look and 
 haughty air, replied, *' Take it, ma- 
 danj, — it is / who offer it 10 you !" 
 The queen accepted the rose, and 
 answered, " Sir, I receive it as a 
 pledge of friendship to come." Ap- 
 parently softene<l by her beauty and 
 noble demeanour, this gracious enir 
 peror made au offer of his services, 
 and inquired what favor he could 
 •'.rant her. " 1 have nothing to ask," 
 -)<dd the queen. " I wish you to com- 
 mand my services — ask what I can 
 give you." " As a queen, I ask fur 
 nothing, sir," said the afflicted prin- 
 cess; "bat as a mother, I beg the 
 town and citadel of Magdeburg for 
 my sons." " Vou are a very bcauti- 
 lul queen," replied Buonaparte, " but 
 you know not w hat you ask — Magde- 
 burg is worth an hundred queens." 
 
 Epitaph, on a Tomb in Dorsetshire. 
 
 NOT born, not dead, not christen'd, not 
 
 begot, 
 l-o! here she Jies, that was, and that was 
 
 not ; 
 She was born, baptized, is dead, and what 
 
 is more, 
 
 Was in her life, not honest, not a w -e : 
 
 Reader, behold a wonder, rarely wrought. 
 And whilst thou seem'st (oread, thouread- 
 
 est NOT. Ob. A. iEtalis Js. 
 
 A Letter. 
 
 FRIENDS sir friends 
 stand your disposition 
 
 I bearing 
 
 a man world 
 
 is whilst the 
 
 contempt 
 
 ridicule 
 are 
 ambitious 
 
 The Explanation, 
 
 SIR, between fiiends, I understand 
 
 your overbearing disposition; a man 
 
 even with the world is above contempt, 
 
 whilst the atnbitious are below 
 
 I ridicule.
 
 Inierestws: Narrafives^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetrj/, S^-c. 711 
 
 Anecdote of Shakspeare. 
 
 IN the time of Elizabetli, coaclies 
 being unconinion, and hired coaches 
 not at all in use, those that were too 
 proud, too tender, or too idle to walk, 
 vent on horseback to any distant busi- 
 ness or diversion. Mauy came on 
 borsobiick t > the play, and wher' 
 Shalispeare tied to London, from 
 the terror of a persecution, his firs; 
 expedient was to wait at the door of 
 the theatre, and hold the horses of 
 those that had no servants, that thev 
 might be ready a<j;ain after tlie per- 
 formance. In this oiTice he became 
 so conspicuous for his care and readi- 
 ness, that every man, as he alight- 
 ed, called for Will. Sh.akspeare, and 
 scarcely any other waiter was trusted 
 with a horse while Will, Shakspeare 
 could be had. This was the first dawn 
 of better fortune. Shakspeare, find 
 ing more horses put into his hand than 
 he could hold, hircfl boys to wait un- 
 der his inspection, who, when Will. 
 Shakspeare was summoned, were im- 
 mediately to present tiiemselves, " I 
 am Shakspeare's boy. Sir." In time, 
 Shakspeare found higher employment, 
 but as long as the practice of ridino 
 to the theatre continued, tjje waiters 
 thatheld the horses retained the appel- 
 lation of Shakspeare's boys. 
 
 UPON A NOTORIOUS SHRENY. 
 By her Husband. 
 
 WE lived oae and twenty yeare. 
 
 As man and wife together : 
 I could not slay her longer here, 
 
 Shee's gone I know not whether. 
 But did I know, I doe protest, 
 
 (I speake if not to flatter)- 
 Of all the women in the world, 
 
 I sweare I'de nerecome at her. 
 Her body is bestowed well, 
 
 This handsome grave doth hide her, 
 And sure her soul is not in hell. 
 
 The devill could ne'er abide her : 
 But I suppose shee's soared aloft. 
 
 For in the late great thunder, 
 Methought I heard hep very V03 ce, 
 
 ReBdin°f (b« clowils assunder. 
 
 The Origin of Surnames. 
 
 BEFORE the arrival of the Nor- 
 mans, men were usually named from 
 tlioir condition and properties, «s 
 GoDRED, the Saxon word for g- 1 d 
 advice; and a wonnii was calltd 
 from some qualitv of her body, as 
 SWC ANSHAl.sK, for the whiteness of 
 her neck: but at'ler that peiiud, nii-n 
 began to be known bv their dwellin<;s, 
 and to have an apj>ei!;ttinn (Vom tiie 
 pl>s^essi^ns they enju\ed : at that time 
 the names of ./o/iw, Titomas, IMeolas, 
 Francis, Stephni, ami Hvnry. were 
 introduced, wilh others scripturd, and 
 now in use among us; soch as had lands 
 assigned them, were called from these : 
 tluis, {(T/iomas harl got the township 
 oi' Aorlon, Siitton.lvnoic/es or Comhe; 
 he was thenceforth called 'rhomus of 
 Norton,, of Sutton or of Coombc; n\\iers 
 again preferred the places in NormuTi' 
 (hj or Brittamj, whence they had ar- 
 rived; thus, if a man came from a vil- 
 lage called l^trnon, Montague, How- 
 ard, or Spencer, he transmitted to his 
 posterity, the surname of Vernon, 
 Montague, Hoivard, or Spencer, to 
 be put after their Christian names so 
 long as any of them should remain. 
 
 Three Th/.irjs a good Wife should be like ^ 
 which Three Things she should not be like^ 
 
 A WIFE domestic, good, and pure, 
 I.ike SxAiL should keep within her door; 
 But not like Snail in silver'd track, 
 Place all her wealth upon her back. 
 
 A WiFK should be like Echo true, 
 And spe.ik but when she's spoken to; 
 But not like Echo— still b« heard 
 Contending for the final word. 
 
 Like a Town Clock a Wife should be — 
 Keep time and regularity. 
 But not like Clocks — harangue so clear. 
 That all the town her voice might hear. 
 
 YouKG 3!an '. if these allusions strike — 
 
 She whom a? bride you'd linii. 
 Must just belikeund just unlike 
 
 An Echo, Cuocfi. acd Snail. 
 
 W. M,
 
 112 lAlerary Curiosiiks, Epiliplis^ Wonderful Etenhj 
 
 Customs in Spain. 
 
 IN Spain and Navarre marriages are 
 often performed uilhoul the coiibeiii 
 or knowledge of either father oj 
 mother, and consecpiently not seidotn 
 to their dislike. A uirl inclined ti 
 put an end to her sweetheart's lanjuors 
 appoints him lo come ahout ilusk u- 
 her house door, biingino a priest witii 
 him. At the time appointed shi' 
 leaves the room, wheie perhaps sh > 
 is sitting amidst the family, and goe>-- 
 and disposes of hei-elf through a 
 ground-floor window, or in the yard. 
 She returns into the room, \\ithout 
 any body bein;» the wiser ahout hci 
 absence; and the next day a band ot 
 priests and monks come and demand 
 hcrofhei father, in the bridegroom's 
 Dame, and in case he is refractory, 
 thev cany her off by force, telling 
 the fatlier to make himself easy, for 
 the match i> of God and the Blessed 
 Virgin's making. 
 
 \Vhf n a Spaniard buys a carviace, 
 he will by no means use it till it h^s 
 been hanselleal by Jesus Chiist, and 
 it is accordingly driven from the 
 coacb-inaker's to a church door, j 
 'J'he priests generally use it for a day, 
 and tliis certainly secures it from an) 
 accidents; but the Spanish cairiatjev 
 being very slight, and the roads none 
 of the best, they are often overturned. 
 
 A priest going with the \Maticum to 
 a sick person, takes the first cai riage 
 he meets, and keeps it till his return 
 to the chuich, the owner of it waiting 
 in some house. Coachmen are very 
 fond of sueh jobs, as entitling them 
 to some indulgences. 
 
 High mass is always celebrated 
 in music, but music liiiie correspon- 
 dent ti> the dignity of the ceremony : 
 the oliiriating priest is fanned from 
 lime to time for coolness' sake. None 
 rnid in church ; all the devotion lies 
 in Jln^ienng laroe roiaries. 
 
 Foundlings are reputed nobles on 
 
 pri>vi!;g that 'hey were exposed; it 
 
 l)eing presumed fiorn that circum- 
 
 tanre, that the faiher was a 
 
 gentleman, rather than a plebeian. 
 
 Giles Jolt and his Cart. 
 
 GILES Jtilt, as sleepins; in liis cart he lay, 
 .-iirjie pilf'ring vilJains stole hi.- learn away: 
 Giles wakes and tries— what's tiere, a 
 
 dicliin. wliaf, 
 NVhy how now — am 1 Giles, or am 1 not? 
 If he — I've lo.«il six geldiiig.s (o my smart : 
 If Bot — Odd-budditiias, Ive found a carl. 
 
 Inscribed on a Pillar lately erected in the 
 midst of a heap of stones, on the side of 
 the hiijhitny in the ^'orih of England, 
 by the Lord of the Manor. 
 
 STAY, Traveller, slay, and peruse a sad 
 
 story ; 
 For here I am set, as a Memento Mori; 
 To give the world notice, that under these 
 
 stones, 
 Mere lie the remains of one William Jones, 
 Who made, if the tale he as true as 'tis old. 
 Too much h:iste(alas !) to get rid of a scold. 
 One niglit.as he under her dicipline lay, 
 Atoning for crimes of the forej^oing day, 
 All nuf'.rliinate thought came into his head 
 'f o mvilif Ills ei^cape: so he riish'd out of bed. 
 And rar. with all speed to the brink of yqa 
 
 delph, 
 From w hence, leaping headlong, he brained 
 
 himself- 
 This was, without que.«tion, his own act 
 
 and dted, 
 \nd vet in their censures all are not agreed, 
 tlielaw, it coridemu'd him, you seeheie: 
 
 but still 
 ."^ome people applaud him : because say they, 
 
 Will 
 Chose rather to lie, for avoiding of strife, 
 Alor.e in a grave, than in bed with his wife: 
 \> hilst oihers entitle him fool for his pains, 
 111 dashing out's own, instead of her brains. 
 
 The Punsters. 
 
 AT a tavern one night 
 
 Jlessrs. More, Strange, and JVriglit 
 Met to drink, and good thoughts to exchange, 
 
 irayi More, ' of us three 
 
 The wlicletown will agree 
 There is only one knave, and that's Strange,' 
 
 ' Yes,' says Strange, (rather sore) 
 
 ' I'm sure there's one More — 
 A most terrible kna\ e and a bite ; 
 
 Who che;-.ted his niollier. 
 
 His sister and brother'— 
 'Oyes,' replied il/orf, i\iAlis 'IVright.'
 
 Interesting' Narrative!:, Eiv'3;mas, Epigrams, Poetry, SfC. 115 
 
 InterestiniT Particulars of the Trial 
 and Exenifion of the late Dr 
 Dodd, for For^fry. 
 
 WILLIAM DODD was a doctor 
 of divinilv, piebciid.irv of Biecoii, 
 and chaplain iti ordiirarv to liis ma- 
 jesty; iie was also the promoter o/ 
 many charities, and the iii^titutor of 
 some, particularly the Maydalen- 
 Hoipital, the Society for the lUliei 
 of poor Debtors, and tliat fur tiir I 
 Recovery of Persojis, apjiareiitiy : 
 DrowLed. — Beinn in want of cash to 
 pay his lrade!.jn''n'.s bilis, and having 
 been preceptor to the earl of Chester- 
 field, he pretended !hat his loidsiiip. 
 bad an urgent occasion to borrow 
 4000/. but did not choose to be his 
 own ajrent, aiid begsed that the mat 
 ter migiit be secretly and expeditiously 
 conducted. The doctor employed 
 INIr. Robertson, a broker, to whom ; 
 be presented a bond, not filled up or 
 signed, that he nii^ht find a person 
 who would advance the reipiisite sum 
 to a younii nobleman, who had just 
 come of a^e. — After apply in^j to se- 
 veral persons who refused the busines- 
 because they were not to be present, 
 when the bond was executed, Mr 
 Robertson, absolutely confidin<; in the 
 doctor's honour, apj)lied to Messrs. 
 Fletclier and Peach, who agreed to 
 lend the money. Mr. Robertson re- 
 turned the bond to the doctor, ii* 
 order to its being executed ; and on 
 the following day the doctor produced 
 it as executed, and witnessed by him- 
 self. Mr. Robertson, knowing Mr 
 Fletcher to be a particular man, and 
 who would consequently object to on< 
 subscribing witness only, put his name 
 under the doctor's. He then wem 
 and received the money, which h- 
 paid into the hands of Dr. Dodd, 
 3000/. in notes oi Sir Charles Ray^ 
 mond and Co. the remaming 1200/ 
 in bank-notes. The money being thu? 
 obtained, the doctor gave Mr Roberl- 
 sou 100/. for bis trouble, and paid 
 
 sime of liis own debts with the re- 
 njainder. It appears, the doctor in- 
 tended to replace the money, and pay 
 ofl" the bond in a short time, without 
 the knowledge of any person but the 
 broker, and the gentleman of whom 
 the money liad been borrowed. It 
 iiappened, however, that the bond 
 being left with Mr. Manly, (attorney 
 for Messrs. Fletcher and Peach) lie 
 observeJ in the condition of the bond, 
 a very remarkable blot in the first 
 letter E, in the word SEVEN, wiiich 
 did not seem to be the effect of 
 chance, but done with design. He 
 thought it remarkable, but did not 
 suspect a forgery ; yet he shewed Mr. 
 Fletcher the bond and blot, and ad- 
 vised him to have a clean bond filled 
 up, and carried to lord Chesterfield 
 for execution. Mr Fletcher consented, 
 and Mr. Manly went the next day to 
 his lordship, who, having previous 
 notice of the intended business, asked 
 him if he had called about the bond. 
 -Mr. Manly said he bad ; and his lord- 
 ship answered, " I have burnt the 
 bond." This appeared very extra- 
 ordinary; but was soon explained, 
 by lord Chesterfield saying he thought 
 tl.e geiitleman called about a bond for 
 .>00/ which he liad given some years 
 before, and had taken up and burnt. 
 When Mr. Manly produced the bond 
 in question, lord Chesterfield was 
 -urpnsed, and immediately disowned 
 it. Upon this, iNIr. Manly went 
 directly to Mr. Fletcher, to consult 
 what steps to take. Mr. Fletcher, a 
 Mr. Innis. and INIr. Manly, went to 
 Guildhall, to prefer an information 
 respecting the fori:ery, against the 
 broker and Dr Dodd. Mr, Robert- 
 son was taken into custody, and with 
 Fletciier, Innis, Manly, and two of 
 ■he lord major's off'cers, went to the 
 'iMUse of the doctor, in Argylt -Street, 
 riieyopencvl the bu'>!.iess — tt'.e doctor 
 was very mu* Ij ;^truck, and aflected. 
 Alanly told him, if he would return 
 the money, it would be the only 
 Q
 
 IM JJlerary CimosUles^ Fpitaphs^ Wonderful E'Cerrfs, 
 
 iijeHtis of savin;^ Itim. He instantly re- 
 turner! sis notes of 500/. each, n><ikin'_ 
 3000/. he drew on his banker for 500/. 
 the hroktr returned lOO/. and the 
 doctor gave a second draft on hin 
 banker for 200/, and a judgment on 
 his n;oods for the remaining 400/. 
 xvhkh judgment ivas immedlutely 
 carried into exectifion. AH this was 
 done bj tlie doctor, in full rehance 
 Oil ti»e hoiionr of {he parlies, that tlie 
 bond should L^e returBe(i to him can- 
 celled ; but, notwithstandinii this re- 
 Blitutiun, he was taken before the 
 lord mayor, and charge! as above- 
 r.icntioned. The doctor declared he 
 had no intenti(;n to defraud lord Ches- 
 terfield, or the gentlenian who ad- 
 vanced the money. He hoped that 
 the satisfaction he had made, in re- 
 tusninq; the money, would atone for 
 the oft'ence. He was pressed, he said, 
 €xc«edingly for 300/. to pay sonic 
 bills due to tradesmeii. He took this 
 step as a temporary resource, and 
 woald have repaid it in half a year. 
 " My lord Chesterfield," added h.e, 
 " cannot but have some tenderness for 
 nie, as niy pupil. I love him, and he 
 linows it. There is nobody wishes to 
 prosecute. I am sure my lotd Ches- 
 terfield don't want my life — I hope he 
 V'il! shew clemency to me. Mercy 
 should triumph over justice." Cle- 
 mency, however, vvas denied ; and the 
 doclorwas conmiitted to the Compter, 
 in preparation fur his trial. — On the 
 19fh of February, 1777, ^'- Dodd 
 bci'if,^ put to the bar at the Oid Bailey, 
 addressed the court in the following 
 words : 
 
 " My lords, 
 *' I am informed, that the bill of 
 3"idlciinent against me, has been found 
 on the evidence of Mr. Robertson, 
 who was taken out of Newgale, with- 
 out any authority or leave from your 
 Icrds'.jips, for the purpose of proi ur- 
 iijg the bill to be found. Mr. Robert- 
 son is a subscribing witness to the 
 koiid, and, as I coi:sceive, would be 
 
 swearing to exculpate himself, if he 
 should be admitted as a witness- 
 acainstme: and as the bill has been 
 found upon his evidei-.ce, which was^ 
 surreptitiously obtained* I sabmit to 
 your lordships that I ought not to be 
 compelled lo plead to this indictment ; 
 and upon this question, 1 bea to be 
 heard by my c<mnsel. My lords, I 
 beg leave also f nther to observe to 
 your lordships, that the gentlemen 0:1 
 the otherside of the question are bomid 
 over to prosecute Mr. Robertson." 
 
 Previous to the arguments of tiie 
 comisei, an order v.hirh had been 
 surreptitiously obtained from an officer 
 of the court, dated Wednesday, Feb. 
 19, and directed to the keeper of 
 Newgate, commanding him to carry 
 Lewis Robertson to Hick-.Vhall, iti 
 order to his giving evidence before the 
 i^rand inquest, on the present bill of 
 indictment ; likewise a resolution of 
 the court, reprobating the said order; 
 and also the recognizance, entered 
 into by Mr. Manly, Mr. Peach, Mr. 
 funis, and the right lion, the earl of 
 Chesterfield, to prosecute and give 
 evidence again?* Dr. Dodd and Lewis 
 Robertson, for the said forgery, were 
 ordered to be read ; and the clerk of 
 the arraigns was directed to infornx 
 the court, whether the name Lewis 
 Robertson was indorsed as a witness 
 on the back of the indictment, which 
 was answered in the affirmative. The 
 counsel now proceeded in their argu- 
 ments for and against the prisoner. 
 Mr. flowartlu one of Dr. Dodd's 
 advocates, contended, that not any 
 person ought to plead or answer to an 
 iudictnient, if it appear on the face 
 v)f that indictment, that the evidence 
 upon which the bill was found was not 
 legal or competent to have been ad- 
 duced before the grand jury. Mr. 
 Cowper, connsel on the same side, 
 followed this idea, and hoped that Dr. 
 Dodd niiu;!it not be called on to plead 
 to the bill of iudictnier.t, and that llie 
 bill might be quashed. Mr. Duller
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetn/, 8fe. 115 
 
 likt;\vise argued, as follows, oii the 
 same side : — 
 
 " My Inids, 
 "It is the established law of this 
 laud, that no man shall be put upon 
 his irial ioY any ofil-nce, unless there 
 be a bill first properly found by a 
 grand jmy: I eay properly found; 
 for if tiiere be any objedion whatso- 
 ever to tlie finding of the indictnient ; 
 and the most familiar that are to be 
 found in our books, are those that go 
 to the objection of the grand jury; 
 for instance, where on'y one person of 
 the rraiid jury has been incom])etent, 
 where only eleven of the jury have 
 found the bill, that therefore if siiall 
 not be tried. I take it the objeclioiis 
 go uhiversaily. J am aware that the 
 objections I have been alluding to, 
 and wliich arc particularly stated in 
 lord Hale, go to l!ie grand jury only; 
 but I will beg lea\e to consider, 
 vvhethtr the reason tliat governs the 
 oae does not govern the other. An- 
 other case put by my lord Hale, is 
 this: if ©ne of the grand jury is out- 
 lawtd, these objections go to the per- 
 sons'of tiie grand jtiry. I anj aware 
 that this is not tiie present objeciion; 
 but I will beg leave, with your lord- 
 ships' permis!.!on, to consider whether 
 this docs not fall within the saine rea- 
 son; for I cannot conceive that ti)e 
 law, which is so pecniiarly watchful 
 over the personal qualifications of the 
 grand jury, should not be equally 
 attentive to tlie evidence which is 
 oiftred to their consideration. I take 
 it to be as essential to the finding of 
 the bill, that the evidence ufiered to 
 the grand jury should be such as the 
 law allows, as it is when the indict- 
 ment afterwards comes to be tried 
 before your lordships; and if that 
 rule holds, I trust I shall have very 
 little diOlculty in convincing your lord- 
 ships that this bill has been improperly 
 found. My lords, t!ie prosecutor has 
 thought it so material to admit Mr. 
 Robertson a witness iu this cause, that 
 
 though, in my humble apprehension, 
 lie stands in a more criminal light than 
 the pris -ner at the bar, yet they have 
 thought fit to bargain with him, to let 
 hin) oil frou] a capital felony of the 
 most dai.fjerous sort to society — the 
 most peculiarly so from his situation 
 in life «)f any man that can be charg- 
 ed wiiii such ail offence. Mr. Robert- 
 son stands in this busiiiess as a sworn 
 broker of the city <^f London: as 
 such, it was hi*; peculiar duty to pre- 
 serve good faitii between man and 
 man: he is bargained with by the 
 prosecutor, to be let off, in a case 
 where he stands upon the appearance 
 against him, nciw as the most crinn'nal, 
 for tiie purpose of procuring evidence 
 against \\\e prisoner at tiie b:ir. My 
 lords, if tliat evidence be improper, 
 there remains but one thing more to 
 bo inquired into; that is, wlielhev 
 your lordships can say, that that evi- 
 dence has not had an improper etTect, 
 when it was admitted before the grand 
 jury. It is not imj)robable, that the 
 bill might be found wholly upon his 
 evidence: if I have a right to assume 
 that as a fact, because the jirosecutcr 
 has thought it mafeiinl, uud absolii'.eiy 
 necessary ti) produce him before the 
 grand jury, why, tiien, your lordships 
 silting here, caniiot say but this in- 
 dictment may have been fouiid upon 
 his evidence only: if it be so, is 
 ilobcrtson a j^erson whose evidence 
 oiight to have been received ? If I 
 am right in saying that tlie same evi- 
 dence, and the same evidence only, is 
 icgal before a grand jury, which is 
 legal upon a trial, I appreiicnd the 
 case which was mentioned in lord 
 Hale, folio 303, is decisive upon this 
 point. My lords, there are more pas- 
 sages in that folio book. The first 
 was the case mentioned of 'Henry 
 Trew, inflicted for a burglary, aiul 
 (by the advice of Keeling, chief jus- 
 tice ; Brown, justice; and Wildc, 
 recorder ;) Perria was sv/orn a witness 
 against Trew, as to the burglary, 
 o 2
 
 116 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 wliich he confessed, but was not in- 
 dicted for tlieotlier feiony. Here ho 
 was admitted, because he confessed 
 himself <»uilt>.' The ]iassa;;e before 
 tlial in lord Hale, seems to me still 
 stronger: ' if two defendants be 
 chari^ed with a crime, one sluill not 
 be examined a^aii.st the other, lo 
 convict iiim of an offence, unless the 
 partN examined confess himseif jjuilt}.' 
 ISow, has Robertson confessed liun- 
 self fiuil(Y? — No, he has not; then 
 there is an express aiillioriJy, by lord 
 Hale, that not having done it, he is 
 no witness; he does not stand in tliat 
 predicament which lord II.de states 
 the man to be in thvrc. He says, 
 they were bt?rii charged with the 
 crime; that is the case here: the pri- 
 soner and Robertson were both com- 
 mitted fur the same crime; he stands 
 now charged with that ciime, and he 
 Inis not ])hadcd guilty: tiierefore upon 
 tiiis autliorit\, I lake it to be clear, 
 that he cannot be admitted a witness 
 upon the trial; and if not, I must 
 leave it to the ingenuity of the learned 
 counsel to shew why a man, whom the 
 law sajs shall not be a vvitness upon 
 the trial, shall be admitted a witness 
 to find t!ic bill upon, again>-t d man 
 vliv-ni there is no other evidence to 
 allect." 
 
 Mr. Mansfield and the other coun- 
 sel employed for the prosecution, 
 replied to th^se arguments with equal 
 ingenuity and professional knowledge. 
 It was now agreed on, tliat the trial 
 should proceed ; and the question 
 respecting the conij^etency of Robert- 
 son's evidence, be reserved for the 
 opinion of the Twelve Judges. Here- 
 uj)OH Dr. Dodd was indicted for forg- 
 ing a bond, fur the payuient of 4'C0()/. 
 with intent to defrauil, «S:t. an<i the 
 facts already stated, were sworn to 
 by the resj)cctive witnesses. 
 
 When the evidence was gone 
 through, the court called upon the 
 doctor for his defence;, which was as 
 follows: 
 
 *' My Lords and Gentlemen of 
 the Jury, 
 
 " Upon the evidence which has 
 been this day produced against me, I 
 1 find it very diHicult to address your 
 lordships: there is n(» man in the 
 ! world who has a deeper sense of the 
 I heinous nature of the crime for whicli 
 ; I stand indicted than iiiy.-elf. I view 
 it, my Lords, in all its extent of ma- 
 lignancy towards a c innrercial state, 
 .like ours; but, my lords, 1 humbly 
 I apprehend, though no lawyer, that 
 I the moral turpitude and malignancy 
 I of the crime always, both in the eye 
 of the law, and of religion, consists 
 in the intention. I am informed, my 
 lords, that the act of parliament on 
 this head runs pei|'elua!Iy in this style, 
 U'i/h on i/iffntion to drjraud. Such 
 an iiiteiitioii, my lords and gentlemen 
 of the jury, I believe has not been 
 attempted to be proved upon me, and 
 til.- co.isequenres that have happened, 
 which have appeared before von, suf- 
 liciently prc)Vi' that a perfect and am- 
 ple restitution has been made. I leave 
 it, my lo;(Is, to you, and the gentle- 
 )nen of the jury, to consider, that if 
 ' an unliapp\ man ever deviates from 
 the law of right, yet, if in the single 
 jl first moment of recollection, he does 
 I all that he can to make a full and per- 
 fect amenth, what, my lords and gen- 
 ii llemen of the jury, can God and man 
 jl desire further ? iNJy lords, there are 
 I a variety of little circumstances, loo 
 I tedit)us to trouble you with, with re- 
 i spect to this matter. Were 1 to (jive 
 ,; a loose to my feeling-s, 1 have many 
 things to say which I anj sure you 
 ]l would feel with respect to me ; but, 
 jl my lords, as it appears on all hamls, 
 as it appears, yrntlemtn of the jury, 
 jl in every view, that no injury, inten- 
 tional or real, has been done to any 
 man upon the lace of the earth, 1 
 hope that, therefore, you will consi- 
 der the case in its true state of cle- 
 mency. I must observe toyourlord- 
 I ships, that though 1 have met with all
 
 Lileredlnrf \nrrathe<t^ Enig'jws, Ept^rnms^ Poefry^ ^r. 1 17 
 
 candour in lliis court, \ct I li:.vt boen 
 
 pursued with excessive rruclty; I li ve 
 
 been prosecuted after the ninst express 
 
 en"a"eiuent5, after tlie ino>t solemn 
 
 '^ • • II- 
 
 assm.iiKfs, alter Ino inn-t delusive. 
 
 kootlii o ari;iiinei>ts of Mr. M.itily; I 
 liuve been prosecuted with a cruelt'i 
 scarcely to be paralleled. A per*- n, 
 avowedly criniiiiai in tie same iiidid- 
 nient with myself, has been brought 
 forth as a capital witnes> flsainst me, 
 a faC», I Lelievc, totally uiioxanii'Ied 
 My h)fd5, oppressed as I ;ini witli in- 
 famy, loaded as I am uilli ilistrcss, 
 sunk under this rrncl prostrntion, 
 your lordships, and the jjcr.llonien of j 
 the jury, cannot think life a niatler of 
 any value to me. No, my lords, J 
 solemnly protest, thai death, of all 
 blessings would be tut* most pleasant 
 to me after this pain. I have yet, my 
 lords, ties which call upim mo — ties 
 which render me desirous even to con- 
 tinue this miserable existence. I have 
 a wife, n^y lords, wlio, for twenty- 
 seven years, ha- lived an unparalleled 
 example of cinjuual attachment and 
 fidelity, and wiiose behaviour ilurin^ 
 this tryi'iij scene would «ha\v tears (d 
 approbation, I am sure, even from 
 the most inhuman. My lords, I have 
 creditors, honest men, who will lose 
 imich by n.y death. I hope, for the 
 sake of justice towards tliem, some 
 mercy will be shewn tome. If, upon 
 the whole, these considerations at all 
 avail with you, my lords, and you j:en- 
 ticmen of liie jury — if, upon tlie m</-^l 
 inipartial survey of matter*, not tht 
 slightest intention of injury can appear 
 to any one — and I solenndy declare it 
 *as in my power to replace it in three 
 months — of this 1 assured Mr. Ro- 
 bertson frequently, and had his so- 
 lemn assurances that no mau should 
 be privy to it but Mr Fletclicr and 
 him->tlf — and if no injury was done 
 to any man upon earth, I then hope, 
 I trust, I fully confide my si If in th« 
 tenderness, humauity, aud protection 
 of my count r)'." 
 
 1 he jury retired for about ten mi- 
 mire«, and then returned with a vir- 
 dict, " that the prisoner was Guilty ;" 
 but r.t the same time presented a 
 OLtiti*'!), humbly rrconimendinq the 
 doctor to the royal mercy. On the 
 first day of the sessions held at the 
 O'd Bailey, in May. Dr. Do. Id, being 
 put to the bar, was addiessetl by Mr. 
 Justice Aston in the folowiiig terms: 
 " Dr. William Dodd, 
 •' Whrii you were brought ti]> in 
 last February sessions, to plead to an 
 iniliclmei.t found by the prand jury 
 of Middlesex, for forgery, before you 
 pleaded, or the trial was proceeded 
 upon, a qutbtion was submitted to 
 thf court by you, with the adviie of 
 vour counsel, which was reserved for 
 the ophiion of the judoes; that is, 
 whether you were bound to p!. ad to, 
 1 and ou^ht to be tried, upon that in- 
 dict m.^nt, as the name of Lewis Ro- 
 bertson, committed for the same for- 
 qcry, ajipeared to be indorsed as a 
 witness upon the bill of indiclmenf, 
 and that he had been taixen before 
 the prand jury, to be examined as a 
 v\itnes«, by means of an order di- 
 rected to the keeper of New/^ate, 
 Mhich had been improperly obtained, 
 on the 19th of Ttbruary, and which 
 was afterwards vacated by the court. 
 The jud;jes have n.-et, and have fully 
 considered the whole matter of this 
 -hjrcticn; and they are unanimoroly 
 of" opinion, that the necessity of s-.me 
 proper authority to carry a wit, <* s, 
 who happened to be in custody, be- 
 fore the j^ratid jury, to ^ive eviiinnre, 
 regards the ji.stilicali'.n ot '.hega.-ler 
 only; but tiiat no objection hes upon 
 that account in the mouth of the party 
 ndicted ; for, in respect of bun, the 
 iii'iing of the bill i> riidit, and ac- 
 cording to law. \\ hefher a private 
 (dosecutor, by usin^ an accomplice, 
 in or out ot (ust')dy, as a witn ^s, 
 1 ^i\es uch a witness a plea m t to l>e 
 I proseeiiietl. '>r can eiilil'e hit. v i , ! e 
 prostcutor, to have his rccvy^aiz;-uce 
 
 i
 
 IT^ Tjitcrary ^'ur70silies\ Epitaphs, JVonderful Etents, 
 
 disiharfjed. is h rnaUer veiy fii foru 
 cons.iderati(in, under all the circuiii-ij 
 stsinces of the particular cast, wliCri 
 th»(t question shall arise; but it is ,, 
 liiaitf) »i wlii< h the |)art\ iiidicted ha* 
 no copcerii, ni<r < ..ni he niakeauy Ug '^ 
 ohjfctio!! to the iruiiuciui: such * 
 pprfeou as a witness, for tin; accoiuplic t 
 is, Mii-iinjt him, a I< gal and cotnpeteiii, 
 vi'iies^, and so was Lewis P il)c;;~>f., 
 uji'ii the hill of indictnitrit prtti.ic(t. 
 ajjaiust you; the judges, therefore, 
 are i>f (>pinii>n, that ihe proceeding* 
 upon that indietnr nl a^ani'-t you weir 
 leijally liad, «Jid hal you were the* 
 upon duly couvicttd accor(lin<,' to lav. . 
 Of this opiiii;)n, I th.-u^dil it hjom 
 pr(if>er flius eutiy to apj)rize you, llim 
 jon ni«y be prepared for the conse- 
 qtsence of- it at the close of ti.t 
 sessions." 
 
 'lo this address Dr. Dodd repliec. 
 in the foUowiui^ terms: 
 " My Lord, 
 
 " I humbly thank your lordship, 
 and the rest of the learned judges, 
 for the consideration you have been 
 pleased to give to tl.e objections made 
 by njy counsel, on that awful day of 
 my trial; and I rest fully satislied, my 
 lord, in the justice of your lordship's j 
 opinion." 
 
 On the last day of the sessions, Dr. 
 Dodd was again |>nt to the bar, when 
 the clerk of the arraigns said, — 
 " Dr. William Dodd, 
 
 "You stand convicted of forgery — 
 what have you lo say why this court 
 should not give you judgment to die 
 according to law ?" 
 
 IIereni)on Dr. Dodd addressed the 
 court as follows : 
 "My Lord, 
 
 " I now stand before you a dread- 
 ful example of human inhrmity. 1 
 entered upon public life with the ex- 
 pectations common to young nun 
 whose edncation has been liberal, and 
 whose abilities hiive been flattered; 
 and when I became a clergyman, 1 
 fonsidtied jiiysclf as uot inij.'ainng 
 
 tlie di:;nity of the order. I was not 
 an idle, nor, I hope, an useless mi- 
 nister : I taught the trutiis of Christi- 
 anity with the zeal of conviCtion, and 
 the autliority of innocence. My la- 
 bours were approved — iny pulpit be- 
 came popular; and I have reason to 
 believe, that of those wjio Iieard me, 
 »ome i)ave been preserved from sin, 
 fiitcl sur.;r have been reclaimed. Cou- 
 '(. eend, my lord, to tliink, if these 
 considerations aggravate my crime, 
 !iow much they must embitter my 
 j)nnishnient ! Being distinguished and 
 elevated by liie confidence of man- 
 kind, I had too much confidence in 
 myself; and tliinking my integrity, 
 what others t!ioui:lit it, established in 
 siucirity, and fortified by religion, I 
 did not consider the danger of vanity, 
 nor suspect the deceit fulness of my 
 o\>M heart. The day of conflict came, 
 in which teiDjilation seized and nver- 
 u helmed me ! I committed the crime, 
 which I entreat your lordship to be- 
 lieve that my conscience hourly le- 
 presents to me in its full bulk of mis- 
 chief and malignity. Many have been 
 overpowered by temptation, who arc 
 now among the penitent in heaven ! 
 To an act now waiting the decision of 
 vindictive justice, I will not presume 
 to oppose the counterbi-Iance of al- 
 most thirty years (a great part of the 
 life of man) passed in exciting and 
 exercising charity — in relieving such 
 distresses as I now feel — in adminis- 
 tering those consolations which I now 
 want. I will not otherwise extenuate 
 my offence, than by declaring, what 
 I hope will appear to many, and what 
 many circumstances make probable, 
 that 1 did not intend finally to de- 
 fraud : nor will it become me to ap- 
 portion my own punishment, by al- 
 leging that my sufferings have beeu 
 not much less than my guilt. I have 
 fallen from reputation, which" ought 
 to have made me cautions, and from 
 a fortune, which ought to have given 
 mc content. I am suuk at once into
 
 Interesting Nnjrathes, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, 5, c. I If 
 
 privei ty aiKl scorn : my name and my 
 crime fill t!ie ballais in the streets ; 
 tlie sMort of the thoushtless, a?ui tlis 
 triunii'h of the wicked ! ft may seeni 
 strange, my !or ', tliat, remembcriii!' 
 Mhiit I have Iiilely been, I should stiil 
 uish to ronlinae what I am ! but con- 
 tempt of deafl), how speciuissly soever 
 it may mingle with hcaihen virtues, 
 has notliing in it suitabie to Chri^ti<lll 
 penitetice. Many motives inipel mr 
 to beij earnestly for life. I fed tht- 
 natural horror of a violent deal!}, t!)e 
 universal drciid of untimely <ii-.i*olu- 
 tion. I am dosirous to reconiptnce 
 the injury I h ive done to the ch'r<:y, 
 to the world, and to religion; and to 
 efface the scandal of my crime, by 
 the examjile of my rep^'ntance : but, 
 above all, I wiNli to die w th thou^his 
 more composed, and calmer prepa- 
 ration. Tiie gloom and confusion of 
 a prison, the anxiety of a trial, the 
 liorrors of suspense, and the inevita- 
 ble \icissiliides of pa-sion, leave not 
 the mind in a due diwosition for the 
 holy exercises of prayer and self-ex- 
 amination. Let not a Utile life be 
 denied me, in which I may, by medi- 
 tation and contrition, prepare myself 
 to stand at the tribunal of Omnipo- 
 tence, and snppoit the presence of 
 that judge, who shall distribute to 
 all according to their works — who will 
 receive and pardon the repenting sin- 
 rer, and from whom the merciful shall 
 obtain mercy! For these reasons, my 
 lords, amidst shame and misery, I yet 
 wish to live; and most humbly im- 
 plore, that I may be recommended 
 by y«ur lordship to the cUmency of 
 his majesty." 
 
 The Recorder now replied, — 
 " Dr. William Dodd, 
 
 •' \ou have been convicted of the 
 offence of publishing a forired and 
 counterfeit bond, hsmwing it to be 
 forged and counterfeited ; and you 
 have had the advantage which the 
 laws of this country afr^rd to every 
 »Jan in that situation, a fair, an im- 
 
 partial, and an attfuli^e trial. The 
 jury, to w'hoj^e justice y..u appealed, 
 have found you guilty; thfir verdict 
 has undergone the considcralifm of 
 llic learned judges, ;ind Ihe^ found no 
 .:,ronnd to iinpeach the justi«e of that 
 verdict; you yourself have admitted 
 the justve of it; and now the very 
 painful duty that the necessity of the 
 !aw imposes Ui)on tlie court, to pro- 
 lounce the sentence of Jhat law 
 gainst you, remains only to be j-er- 
 formed. You ajjpear to entertain a 
 very proper sense of the enormity '-f 
 the olfence whicli you have commit- 
 ted; >Oii api)ear too in a sfnte of con- 
 trition of mind, and I donl't not have 
 July reflected how far the daniietoiis 
 tendency of the ofTenf-eyou liave been 
 ,'iiilty of, is increased by the intltience 
 >'f example, in being committed by a 
 pers n of your character, and of the 
 sacred function of which you are a 
 member. These sentiments seem to 
 be yours: I would wish to rnltivate 
 such sentiments ; but I w ould not w islj 
 to add to the anguish of a |)erson iti 
 your situation, by dwelling upon it. 
 Vour application for mercy must be 
 made elsewhere: it would be cruel in 
 the court to flatter you; there is a 
 power of dispensing mercy, w here you 
 may apply. Your own good sense, 
 and the contrition you express, will 
 induce you to lessen the influence of 
 the example, by publishing your hearty 
 and sincere detestation of the oflVnre 
 of w hich you are convicted ; and that 
 you will not alteni})t to palliate or ex- 
 tenuate, which would indeed add to 
 the degree of the influence of a crime 
 of this kind, being committed by a 
 person of your cliaracter and known 
 abilities; I would therefore warn you . 
 against any thing of that kind. >iow, > 
 iiaving said this, I am obliged to pro- 
 nounce tlie sentence of the law, which 
 is — That you. Dr. Wm. Dodd, be 
 carried from iience to the place from 
 w hence you tanjc ; that from thence 
 you arc to be carried Xo the place of
 
 120 TJlaran/ Curiosilie!:, Kpilaphs^ JVonderful Events^ 
 
 execution, where you are to be Iianged 
 by the neck until you are dead," 
 
 'To this Dr. Dodd replied, " Lord 
 Jesus, receive mj soul !" 
 
 Tiie exertions now made to sav* 
 Dr. Dodd were perhaps beyond a!' 
 example in any country. Tlie news- 
 papers were liilcd with letters and 
 paragraphs in his favour. li.divi(hial- 
 of all ranks and degrees exerted them- 
 selves in hs behalf; parish oiticer.' 
 went, in mourning, from house t< 
 Ijonse, to procure subsci"i|)tions to :< 
 petitioji to the king; and this petition, 
 which, with the names, filled twenty- 
 lliree sheets of parchment, was actu- 
 ally presented. Even the lord mavc: 
 and connnfin-council went in a body 
 to St James's, to solicit n\crcv for the 
 convict. As clemency, however, ha(! 
 been denied to the unfortu'iate I'er- 
 reans, it was {Kcnied nnadvisabie to 
 extend it to Dr. Dodtl.* 
 
 Tlii'^ unhappy clercyman was at- 
 tended to the place of execution, in a 
 mourning coach, by the Rev. Mr. Vil- 
 lette, ordinary of Newgate, and the 
 Rev. Mr. Dol»ey — Another criminal, 
 named John Harris, was executed at 
 the same time. It is impossible to 
 give an idea of the immense crowds 
 of people that ihrcnged the streets 
 from Newirate to Tyburn. — When the 
 prisoners arrived at the filal tree, and 
 were placed in the cart, Dr. Dodd 
 exhorted his fellow-sufferer in so ge- 
 nerous a manner, as testified that he 
 had not forgot the duty of a clergy- 
 man, and was very fervent in the ex- 
 ercise of I is own devotions. Just 
 before the parties were turned off, the 
 iloclor whispi^-red the executiout-r. 
 What he said is not ascertained ; bul 
 
 • It was ohisfrved to his .Mnjesly, that if 
 Poctor Dodd was pardonpd, tiie Perreaus 
 were viurdcred. Since the cxecntion of 
 l)r. Dorld, several convicted of forgery have 
 Lien pardoiied ; lliert'fore, arcorJing to this 
 Fopliistical mode of reii^onir.j, Dr. Dodd, 
 the IVneans. asu'. all w ho have sniTercd be- 
 fore, liave bten murdered. IIow often, in 
 
 it was observed tiiat tlie man l}ad no 
 -ooner driven away the cart, than he 
 ran immediatrly under t!ie "ibbet, and 
 l)ok hold of the doctor's legs, a* if 
 to steady the body, and tiie unhappy 
 man appeared to die without pain; 
 hut the groans, prayers, and tears of 
 liionsands attended his departure. — 
 He siifleied oti the 27th of June, 
 1777. 
 
 ON MR. JOHN MOLE, 
 fVko died at Worcester. 
 
 BENEATH this cold stone lies a son ofihe 
 
 Earth ; 
 His Ptory is short, though we date from 
 
 his birth ; 
 His mind ^va^^ ao {jrcss as his body was bi;^; 
 He drank like a (isii ; and he ate like a pic:. 
 N'o care.s of religion, of wedlock, or state, 
 Did e'er, for a uiomeiit, incumber John's 
 
 pate; 
 He sat or he walk'd, but his walk was 
 
 but creei)iHg, 
 .And he rose from his bed — when qnite (ir'd 
 
 of.sleejjing. 
 Without foe, without friend, unnolic'd he 
 
 died, 
 .N'ot a single soullangh'd, not a einglesoul 
 
 cried. 
 Like hi.'! four footed naa.esake, he dearly 
 
 lov'd earth, 
 So the sexton has cover'd his body with 
 
 turf. 
 
 On a Litigious Ulan, 
 
 HERE lie'' a man who in his life 
 NVith every man had law and rtrife. 
 But now he's dead and lay'd in grave, 
 His bones no <jniet rest can have. 
 For lay your care unto tliis stone, 
 And yon ."shall heare how every bone 
 Doth kr.ork and beat against each other, 
 I'ray lor his soul's health gentle brother. 
 
 EPITAPH. 
 
 On Master Bnrhriclijc, tlie Tragedian. 
 
 EXIT Burbridge. 
 
 I g.ing of convicted mutineers, are several, 
 at the moment of expected punishment, for- 
 ijiven, and only two or three examples 
 made! Are those examples murdered? — 
 Mercy is a royal prerogative, and ju«ti<e 
 •hould withdraw, wbea she is pleased to 
 smile.
 
 I/iferatiins; Karrafltes, Enis^mns, Eptfrrama, Poetny, S^c. 191 
 
 Biographical Sketch of Mantaccini, 
 the famous Ciuirlitan of Paris. 
 
 A YOUNG man of ^^ood faniilv 
 liaviiig in a few vrars sqiian<lf red a 
 l;!r<:e estate, and reduced liini«elf" td 
 al)S(>liite uant. felt tliat lie must exer- 
 ciso his ingenuity, or starve. In tin's 
 stale of mind, lie cast liis e^es round 
 the v.irious d» vices wliich s;;ve from 
 inriijience, and are most favored bv 
 fortune. He soon |ter(«ived, thai 
 charlatanism was that on whirh this 
 blind benefactress lavished her favors 
 with most pleasure, and m the qrtaf- 
 evt aliundanre. An aiirMif and loqua- 
 cious domett c. was the onlv remainii.s 
 article of ail his former erandeur; lie 
 dressed him up in a jrold laced liverv, 
 mounted a splenrlid chariot, and 
 started on the town under the name, 
 style, and title of "j'lie celebrated 
 Doctor Maulaccini, who cures all 
 diseases with a snnple touch, or a 
 sin^rle look." Tliis precious art wa» 
 possessed by too many of his brethren 
 to draw after him the whole town; lie 
 therefore underlooji a connlrv excur- 
 sion, and modestly announced himself 
 at Lyons, as tiie ''celebrated doctor 
 Mantaccini, wlio revives the dead at 
 ^viil." To remove ail douI)t, he de- 
 clared, that in tifteen days, lie would 
 go to the conniion church-yard, and 
 restore to life its inhabitants, though 
 buried for ten years. 
 
 This declaration excited a peneral 
 rumour, and violent murmurs against 
 the doctor, who, not in tlie least dis- 
 concerted, applied to tiie n^aLM^t^ate, 
 and requested he mi<{Iit be put under 
 a i^uard, to prevent liis escape, untii 
 lie should p»^rform his u-idertakinir. 
 The proj-oiition inspired the greatest 
 confidence, and the whole city came 
 to consult doctor Mantaccini, an(i 
 purchase his Bnume de Vie. Hi> 
 consultations, alwa\s well paid, were 
 so numerous, lie had scarcely time t' 
 eat and drink. At leii;^lh tlie fanion., 
 Uay ajjproaclied, and the doctor's 
 
 valet, fearing for his shoulders, be^an 
 to shew si<jns of unea-iness. — " You 
 know nothing of mankind," said the 
 doctor t<i him, " be (|uiet," Scarcely 
 had he spoken these words, when the 
 following letter was presented to him 
 from a rich citizen. 
 
 " The great operation, doctor, 
 wliich you are going to |)erform, has 
 br.iken my rest. I have a wife buried 
 for some time, who was a fury, and I 
 am nnliappyenonqii already, without 
 her icninection. In »lie nameof lieaven 
 do not make the experiment. I will 
 ^ive you fifty louis to keep jour secret 
 to yourself." 
 
 In an instant after, t«o dashing 
 beaux arrived, wiio, with the most 
 earnest supplications, entreated hiin 
 not to revive their oM father, formerly 
 tlie greatest miser in tlie city; as in 
 suc!i an event, they would be reduced 
 to the most deplorable indigence. 
 They oftered him a fee of sixty louis, 
 but the doctor shook his head ia 
 doubtful compliance. 
 
 Scarcely had they retired, when a 
 young widow, on the eve of matri- 
 mony, threw lierself at the feet of the 
 doctor, and witli sobs and sighs im* 
 ploied his mercy ; — in short, from 
 morn till night, the doctor received 
 letttr'^, visits, jiresents, fees, to an 
 excess that absolutely overwhelmed 
 him. The minds of the citizens were 
 so diftt rently and violently agitated, 
 some by fear and others by curiosity, 
 that the chief magislrate of the city 
 waited upon the doctor, and said : 
 "Sir, I have not the Iea«t doubt, 
 from my exjjerience of \our rare ta- 
 lents, tliat you will be aWe to accom- 
 plish the resuirection in our chuich- 
 \ard the day after to-morrow, accord- 
 iMg to your promise; but I pray you 
 to observe, that our city is in the 
 greatest upn-ur and cniuusion, and to 
 Consider the dreadful revolution, the 
 success of your expeiimeiit must pro- 
 duce in every fimiiy. I entreat you, 
 Mieiefore, not to attempt it, but to
 
 122 LiteravT/ Cur'wsUies^ EpUaphs, Wonderful Etenls, 
 
 go away, and thus restore the tran- 
 quiliity of llie city. In justice, liou 
 ever, to voui rare an<i divine talents, 
 I shall ii'.ve you an ?.ttest;ition in <.iui 
 furni, un(l*^t our seal, tli.it you ciii; 
 reciie the cleuti, and tiiat it was oni 
 own fault, we were not eye-witncssts 
 of your power." 
 
 The certiiu'iite was duly si<;ned and 
 delivered, and doctor Mantaccini 
 went to work uew miracles in some 
 other city. In a short time he return- 
 ed to Paris loaded with gold, where 
 he laui^htd at popular credulity, and 
 spent immense sums in luxury and 
 extravagance. A hniy, who was a 
 dowini;:lit charlatan in love, assisted 
 in rcduciiiL' him to want; hut he set 
 out ai;aiii on a provincial tour, aud 
 returned with a new fortune. 
 
 In St. Anthotv/)! Church, London. 
 
 ON THOMAS KNOLLKS, a\d HIS WIFE. 
 
 THOMAS I'nollcf' licth under this stone, 
 
 And liis wiCf Isahell : ttoAi and hone, 
 
 Thpy were (ofjetlier nineteen year, 
 
 And (en children (Iiey had in fear. 
 
 His fad'r nnd he to llii*! church, 
 
 Rtany good deeds (hey did worch. 
 
 Kxaniple by him may ye see, 
 
 Tliat 1tii>' world is .')iit v.niity ; 
 
 I'or wliithor he he -inall or great, 
 
 Ail shall (urn (o %vf>rnis'-nu'a( ; 
 
 f his said Thomas was lay'd on ()eere. 
 
 The ei<;ii(li day (he month Fevrer, 
 
 The date of Je»a Chri-i trniy, 
 
 Anno Mccrc. live and forty. 
 
 >Ye nay not pray; hrartily pray ye, 
 
 For our sonls, Ptitcr-nostcr and Ave. 
 
 Theswarer of onr pains lissod to he, 
 
 Grant ns tiiy holy trinity. Amen. 
 
 ON THE S!0\ OF THE ABOVE. 
 
 HERE lieth graven nnder this stone, 
 Thom:<s Knolles, hoth flesh and hone. 
 Crocer and alderman year« fortyc, 
 Sheriir, and twice maior trn.'ye. 
 And for (hat he shonid KOt lye alone, 
 Hear"s with him his jji.od v. ifo Jo.ine. 
 Tlicy were tog^elhcr sixty year. 
 And nineteen children they had iu fear. 
 
 On a Man eating rotten Cheese. 
 
 JACK eating rotten cheese did say, 
 I. ike Sampson, 1 my thousands slay 
 I vow, qnnth Itogcr, so yon tio. 
 iod Willi tLes.*l(-»ams wtapou too. 
 
 An Account of the Or^s^in and 
 Progress of making Paptr. 
 The Ancients had no paper, but 
 i\ rote on the leaves of palm trees, 
 f.om which word le;«f, our word folio, 
 and the leaves of books is derived. 
 They next wrote on the skins which 
 they found between the bark anil wood 
 of srnie trees, particularly that sart 
 which slips olf the easiest ; vi;^. the 
 elder, the planf, the ash, and the 
 elm : these skins, or films, being 
 curiously taken otf were joined to- 
 .;ether, and were made books , and 
 hecau'^e film in Latin, is called liber, 
 I he same name is j^iven to a book ; 
 irom whence came onr word library. 
 In process of time, the method was 
 found out of writing on parchment, 
 made of sheepskins; the invention 
 of which, is assioncd to the people 
 of Perf^anue", a city in Asia, on ihc 
 banks of the river Caicus, whereof 
 Eumenes was kino;, and from that 
 city, it was called per<;amennm, 
 which we have corrupted into parch- 
 ment. After this, there was a sort 
 of paper made of the rind of a plant, 
 called Papyrus, growintj in the 
 marshes about the river Nile, iu 
 Eiiyfit. These rushes bear small 
 leaves betwixt the outward rind and 
 the pilh, which being neatly opened, 
 with the point of a neeille, and then 
 prepared with fine flour and other 
 intiredients, served to write on; fiom 
 this riish called papyrus, our word 
 paper is <lerived. 'I'he Egyptians, also 
 called this plant pliylyra and biblos, 
 from whence, the Greeks gave the 
 name biblos, to a book, and from 
 that our word bible, or the book. 
 The word volume, came from vellum, 
 on which books was fomerly wrote. 
 The art of making paper of rags, is 
 supposed to have been discovered 
 about the twelfth century. The first 
 paper mill in England, was built on 
 the liver Daveiit, in Kent, by Sir 
 .lul'.ii ISpilman, to whom King Charles 
 
 [j the first, granted a patent, with 200/. 
 
 ) II year to cucouraj;e the maiiulactory.
 
 I III ere ff in (f Narralhef;^ I'jiis;ma<!, Fpis^rnnis, Poetri/^ &c. MS 
 
 The Ghost of a Scrag of yfutton. 
 
 IX the dayslhat that are past, l)y the banks 
 of a stream, 
 Whoso waters Imt softly worcnnwinff, 
 WiUi ivy o'ergroNVu, aa old niansiou-hoiisi- 
 
 stood. 
 That wns huiit on (be skirt of a cbillin;; 
 tlaoip wK>i1. 
 Where the yew-tree aud cypre«s were 
 growing;. 
 
 The villaorers Fhook as they pa<is'd by tlie 
 doors, 
 When they rested at err from their labors ; 
 And the tr.iveller many a furlong went 
 
 round, 
 If his ears oncpadmilled ilip terrific sonnd 
 Of thf tale that was lolJ by the neigh- 
 bours. 
 
 They »Si\A. tliat the house on the skirts of 
 the wood 
 By a saucer-eyed ghost was infested, 
 ■Which fiirdev'ry heart with confusion and 
 
 frisht, 
 £y assumiuc; strange shapes in the dead of 
 the ni^ht — 
 Shapes monstrous, and foul, and detested. 
 
 And tnthj, they said — and the master well 
 kuew 
 That the ^hust wai the greatest of evils; 
 For no sooner the beil of the mansion toli'd 
 
 'one,' 
 Than the frolicsome imp in a fnrv began 
 To capir like leu Ihousand deviU. 
 
 He appear'd in all forms the most strange and 
 uncouth', 
 Sure never was goblin so daring! 
 He ulter'd loud shrieks and most horrible 
 
 cries, 
 Cnrsed his body and bones, and his swec* 
 little e>jes, 
 'Tilihi<« impudence grew beyond bearing. 
 
 Jast at this nick o' lime, as the master's sad 
 heart 
 With anguish and sorrow was swelling, 
 He heard that a scholar, with science com- 
 plete. 
 Full of mystical lore as an e.g.? is with meat,. 
 Had t<iken at Cambridge a dwelling. 
 
 The scholar was versed in all magical r.rts, 
 Most famous was he throughout college. 
 To the Red Sea full many aniuxiniel ghost, 
 To repose with King Pharoahand hi- uiighly 
 host. 
 He had sent, through his powerful know- 
 ledge. 
 
 I'o I his scholar so learned the master he 
 went. 
 And. a* lowly he bent with stibiuission, 
 Told (he frfak-i of the ghost, aud the horri- 
 ble frights, 
 !hal prevented his housliold from resting o' 
 uights. 
 And otl'er'd this humble petition : 
 
 '• Thnl lie, the said scholar, in wisdom so 
 iri.<r, 
 " WiiiMd the mischievous ri<?nd lay in fet- 
 tfj ; 
 " And send him, in torments for ever It) 
 
 daell, 
 '• To the nethermost pit, of the nethermost 
 boll. 
 " For destroying the sleep of his betters." 
 
 The scholar, so versed in all mystical lore, 
 Told the nuster, his pray'r should be 
 gr.mted ; — 
 Then order'd his horse to be saddled with 
 
 speed, 
 And perch'd on the b.ack of his cream-color'd 
 slopd. 
 Trotted olTto the house that was haunted. 
 
 Heenter'd the doors at the fall o' the night, 
 
 The (re^s of the forest 'gan shiver; 
 The hoarse raven croak 'd, and blue burnt 
 
 the light, 
 The owl loudly shriek'd, and, pale with 
 affright, 
 The servants likeaspins did quiver. 
 
 " Bring some turnips aud milk I" thescho- 
 l.^r he tj-ied, 
 Tn a voice like the echoing thnnder — 
 They bronght him some turnips, and saet 
 
 beside. 
 Some milk and a spoon ;and bis motions they 
 eyed. 
 Quite lost in conjecture and wonder. 
 
 He took up the turnips, and peel 'd olTtha 
 i>kiu, 
 Put them inio a pot that wa^ boiling ; 
 Spread a table and cloth, made ready to sup, 
 Then call'ii for a fork, aud the turnips fish'd 
 up. 
 In a hurry, for they were a spoiling. 
 
 He mash'd np the turnips with butter and 
 milk ; 
 The hail at the casement 'gan clatter ; 
 Yet the scholar ne'er heeded the tempest 
 
 Without, 
 But , raising his eye, and turning about, 
 Askd the maid for a small wooden plat- 
 ter. 
 R 2
 
 124 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 He mash'd up the turnips witli butter and 
 milk ; 
 The storm came on thicker and faster : 
 The lightnings blue flashed, and with ter- 
 rific din 
 The wind at each crevice and cranney came 
 in, 
 Tearing up by the roots lath and plaister. 
 
 He mash'd up the turnips with butter and 
 milk ; 
 The Diess would have ravish'd a glutton ; 
 When.lo! his sharp bones hardly cover'd 
 
 with skill. 
 The Gho-it, from a nook o'er the window 
 peep'd in. 
 In the form of a Boil'd Scrag of 3Iut 
 
 TON ! 
 
 " Ho ! ho !" said the ghost' "what avt doing 
 below V 
 The s(h(»lar look'd up in a twinkling — 
 " The times are too bad to afford any meat, 
 *' So, to render my turnips more pleasant to 
 eat, 
 " A few graijs of pepper I'm sprinkling." 
 
 Then hecanghtup a fork, and the mutton he 
 
 seized, 
 And soused it at onre in the platter; 
 Threw o'er it some ^alt, and a spoonful of 
 
 fat, 
 And before the poor ghost could tell what 
 
 be was at, 
 He was gone! — like a mouse down the throat 
 
 of a cat, 
 And this is the whole of the matter. 
 
 Female Depravity in London. 
 
 AT Paris and Berlin, (to wliich an 
 vntravelleii Englibhman with secret 
 sati'^fuclion lefers for frightful con- 
 trasts to the morals and purity of his 
 own country) the women of the town 
 confine ihcmscKes to certain public 
 places, so that those who wish for 
 ihem Unou' were to find them, and 
 those who wish to avoid them know 
 how to prevent the contact ; but in 
 I ondon they are scattered every 
 where. You cannot walk any of the 
 streets at in<iht but they address vou, 
 and fie(|ueiitly with no small vioK-nce 
 of atlacitnient. In these stieets their 
 veiy walks are allotted, by a sort of 
 general aoreement, and certain penal- 
 ties ate incuned if tiespassed upon. 
 
 The miserable wretch who is obliged 
 by disease to retire f«^r a time, 
 actually lets her tvalk during the 
 period to some sister in iniquity, 
 whoseMia/A; is confined to a street less 
 productive, because less favourable - 
 to the purpo'-es ot prwstitution. 
 
 The theatres are not a little indebt- 
 ed to these unfortunate girls for a 
 •i;reat portion of their audiences. 
 Tiie players and the prostitutes [)ietly 
 neaily divide the attention of the fie- 
 qiK'iiters of the upper boxes. It is 
 eminently ridiculous to hear the cant- 
 ma of the English about the supu- 
 riurity of their moral character; and 
 at the same lime to attend a party 
 •f modest females to the |)lay, where 
 they are destined to encounter 
 the most disgu'-tini^ scenes of inde- 
 cency, in reachinji and retornintj from 
 I heir box; and when there, they can- 
 not raiie their eyi s towards the oppo- 
 site side without witnessin^^ the vilest 
 of their sex, in semi-nakedness, in 
 dalliance wrib sr^'.V-'ic-aded dotards, 
 or beardless libertines. What a 
 melancholy and afflicting subject Uxt 
 reflection is it to think of the fate of 
 luindreds and thousands of these 
 abaridoned women, who, arrayed in 
 all the sumptuousness and g dety of 
 meretricious attraction, have oftea 
 met and engaged the eye in these 
 public places of amusement! Biit 
 a few years since, many ot them were 
 elegant in their persons, tasteful m 
 their dress, and, painful to think 
 upon, unpolluted in their minds ! 
 Now what is become of them ? Some, 
 pinched by penury, have incurred the 
 vengeance of the law, and wrilheU 
 under the lash of the executioner, 
 languished in goals, or been banibhed 
 to a distant region ; whilst others, 
 devoured by the most loathsome of 
 diseases, or victims of slow consuming 
 declines, have descended, unwept anti 
 unlaniented, to their graves. 
 
 When it is considered how great is 
 the number of bachelors; and of sQxy
 
 Inlereslins; Xarralivrs, Eniomas^ Epigrams, Poetry^ <5rc. 125 
 
 youii" nu'ii under the vicmmi'Mi ol 
 ragiriCT passii)n> ; of ^^ ranger's rej.i). lii- 
 to the Yneiropoli'^, seaniPii and l.i- 
 bouiers, and thf gnieral profligacy »;l 
 vuls'i: lile, the tables of iemale pro-- 
 titiition with which an ingc'niou^, able, 
 and humane niagisliate, Mr. Colqu 
 hoiin, has furnished the puljbc, \\\,\ 
 cease to surprise. His ostuuiite is as 
 f()Ilo\v> : 
 rrostitules of the cla«s of 
 
 well-educated women - 2,C00 
 • of the claiS of per- 
 sons above the lauk of 
 menial servants - - - 3,00f 
 of the class who 
 
 may have been employed 
 as menial servants, or se- 
 duced in veiy ear'y life, in 
 all parts of the town, about C0,000 
 of those in diRer 
 
 ent ranks of society, who 
 live piTt!^ by pmsliiutiun, 
 including the multitudes 
 of low females who nhabit 
 with labourers, and others, 
 V'ithout matrimony, in ike 
 nietropolis, about - - 25,000 
 
 50,000 
 
 This calculation, of ronr«e, mu>t 
 rot be considered as perfectly accu 
 rate ; though I fear it is as likely to 
 be under as over rated. The amouni 
 is alarmingly great, inasmuch as it 
 ascertains the prodigious exieiU of 
 almost avowed prostitution; and yet. 
 at the same time, it is in favour of 
 the general female chastity of the 
 couiUry. 
 
 Jcurnal oj a JViff shire Curate. 
 
 MONPAY. 
 
 P.ECEIVEL toil p, iinds from rnj 
 jcctor, I)r. ijiiarl, being one hail 
 year's salary. Obliged to wait a 
 long time before my admittance t- 
 the doctor, and even when adinittiU: 
 was never once asked to ill down o, 
 
 refresh mvself, though I had walked 
 ■leven miles. — Item, The doctor 
 hinted he could have the curacy filled 
 lor fifteen pounds a 3 ear. 
 Tuesday. 
 
 Paiil nine poui.ds to seven diflTerer.t 
 people, but could not buy the seci-nd- 
 hand pair of black breeches, oflered 
 'o me as a great borgain, by Cabbag6 
 llietaylor, mv wife wdiitiim a petti- 
 coat above all things, and neither 
 LJetsy nor P(»lly having a shoe to go 
 to church in. 
 
 Wednesday. 
 
 My wife bought a petticoat for 
 herseli', aud shoes for two daughteis; 
 but unluckily in coming home d'op- 
 ped half a guinea thiuugh ^i h«de^ 
 which she had never befoie perceived 
 in her pocket, and leduced aU «tur 
 ra^h in the world to half a ciown. — 
 Item, Chid my poor ^\om;in tor being 
 nfllictcd at the misioitune, and 
 tenderly advised her to rely ou the 
 goodness of God. 
 
 Til U us DAY. 
 Received a note from thp ale-h'Ulsc 
 
 It the top 01 the hill, inlorming rae, 
 that a gentleman wished to speak to 
 aie on pressing business ; went, and 
 lound It was an unfoitunate member 
 of A btroUiiit: company of players, 
 A ho was pledged for seven pence 
 '.alfpenny; in a struggle wha; to d»> — • 
 
 he bake;, though we had paid hirn 
 but on Tuesday, quarrelled with us, 
 in order to avoid giving credit in 
 future; and George Greasy, the 
 
 lutcher, sent Us vvonl, that he heard 
 It wh'spcred how the rector intended 
 10 take a curate who would do parish 
 
 iuiy a! an interior pi ire, and there- 
 oie, though he wouui do any thing 
 to serve me advised me to deal witU 
 
 I'eter Paunch, at ihi' upper end of 
 ilietown: mortify ini: reflections these. 
 
 iiut a want of humanity is, in ray 
 pinion, a want of justice: the 
 
 I'ather of the universe lends hi* 
 ;i ssings to us, with a view that wc 
 hould relieve a brother in distress.
 
 15^ I Her my/ Curiosities^ Epitaphs^ TFonderfu! Events, 
 
 ant! we cnr.bcquei.tly do no more than 
 piiV Hflebt, when '^ppelform an art 
 ■of benevolence — paid the strangei's 
 reck<iii!iio out of the shilling in m\ 
 pocket, and nave hmi the remuindor 
 ol the money to prosecute his journey. 
 I" iU D A Y . 
 
 A very scanty d-.nner, and preten- 
 ded therefore to be ill, that by 
 avoidiMfftoeat I miaht leave something 
 like eni^u^h tor my poor wile and 
 children. 1 told my wife what I had 
 done with the s-hilling: the e.\cellent 
 creature, instead of blaming me for 
 the action, blessed the goodness ol 
 my heart, and burst into tears. — 
 JMeni. Never to contradict her as 
 li.iii.' as I ii^e; for the mind that can 
 arj'ie hke hei's, though it may 
 deviate from the more rigid senti- 
 ments of prudence, is even amiable 
 in Its indiscretion, and in each elapse 
 from I he seventy of oeconomy, per- 
 fornis an act ol virtue superior to the 
 value of a kingdom. 
 
 Saturday. 
 
 Wrote a sermon, which on Sunday 
 I preached at four different parish 
 chirches, anti came home excessively 
 weary and hungry — and only Iwo- 
 pertce halfpenny in the house — but 
 see the goodness of God : The strolling 
 player whom 1 had relieved was a 
 man of fortune, who accidentally 
 heard that I was as humane as I was 
 indigent, and from a generous eccen- 
 tricity of temper, wanted to do me an 
 essential piece of service. 1 had not 
 been an hour at home when he came 
 in, and declared himself ray friend, 
 put a fifty pound note into my hand, 
 and the next day presented me with 
 a living of three hundred pounds a 
 year. 
 
 On a Person tvith a most voracious Appetite. 
 
 OTHO, pntomb'd within this glebe so hal- 
 
 low'd. 
 Had ill liis life-lime many acres swallovT'd 
 JJnt ill return to I his voraridiis limb. 
 The eurtb in justice Btw bus s>yall«VT'd biin. 
 
 Chronolosical Account of the prin^ 
 cipal Eients in the Life of Buona- 
 parte. 
 
 1769- 
 Aug. 15. Born at Ajaccio, in Corsica 
 
 1779. 
 Mar. — . Placed at the military school 
 at Brienne 
 1793. An olhcerof artillery at ihe 
 .siege of TouIju, and ap- 
 pointed general of brigade 
 
 1794. 
 Oct. 4. 
 
 1796. 
 
 May 10, 
 Aug. 3. 
 Nov. 1 6' 
 
 1797. 
 Feb. 2. 
 r^Iar. 23 
 
 Cominands the conventional 
 troops, and defeats the 
 Parisians 
 
 Appointed (o the commaud 
 of the army (;f Italy 
 
 Battle of Lodi 
 
 Rattle of Casliglione 
 
 Battle of Areola 
 
 Surrender of Mantua 
 Trieste surrenders 
 April 1 S. Preliminaries with Austria, 
 
 signed at Leoben 
 May 1^. French take possession of 
 
 Venice 
 Oct. 17. Treaty of Campo Formio 
 with Austria 
 179s. 
 May 20. Buonaparte sails for Egypt 
 July 21. Battle of Einbabe, or of 
 
 the Pyramids 
 Oct. 24. Insurrection at Cairo 
 
 1799- 
 May 21. Siege of Acre raised 
 Aug. 23. Sails from Egypt for Frauca 
 Oct. 7- Lands at Frejus 
 Nov. 9« Dissolves the conventional 
 government 
 10. Declared tirst consul 
 
 1800. 
 
 Feb. ]5. Peace with the Chouans 
 May 15, Buonaparte crosses Mount 
 
 St. Bernard 
 June 16. Battle of Marengo 
 July 2S. Preliminaries with Austria, 
 
 signed at Paris 
 Dec. 3. Battle of Hobenlinden 
 24, Ex]>losion of the infernal 
 
 machine
 
 Interesting Narrathex, Enigmas^ Epigrams, Poefn/^ Sr. 197 
 
 1801. 
 
 Feb. 9. 
 Aug. i6. 
 
 Oct. 8. 
 
 1 802. 
 Jan. 26. 
 
 Mar. 27. 
 May 15. 
 Au2. 2. 
 
 — —28. 
 
 1803. 
 INiav IS. 
 June 5. 
 
 1 804-. 
 Feb. — 
 Mar. 20. 
 April S. 
 May 18. 
 Kov. 15). 
 
 1805.' 
 Feb. — 
 
 April II. 
 
 May 26. 
 
 Sept. 24. 
 
 Oct. 20. 
 
 Nov. 13. 
 Dec. 2. 
 ' 15. 
 
 ' q6. 
 
 Treaty of Luneville wit! 
 
 Austria 
 Nt Ison attacks the Boulogne 
 
 flotilla 
 Preliminaries with England 
 
 The Cisalpine repub. placed 
 
 under Buonaparte 
 Delinitive treat) willi Enf.' 
 Leiiion of honour instituted 
 Declaied consul for life 
 Swiss form of nnvernnieiit 
 changed by llie interference 
 of the i rt-uch 
 
 English declaration of war 
 Hanover conquered 
 
 Morcau arrested 
 Due d'Enirhien shot 
 Picheqni dies m prison 
 Buonaparte made emperor 
 Crowned by the Pope 
 
 Writes a pacific letter to the 
 king of England 
 
 Treaty of Petersburgh, be- 
 tween Enj^land, Russia, 
 Austria, and Sweden 
 
 Buonaparte declared king 
 of Italy 
 
 Buonaj)arte head's his anm 
 against Austria 
 
 Mack's army surrenders at 
 Ulm 
 
 French enter Vienna 
 
 Battle of Austerlifz 
 
 Treaty of Vienna will) 
 Prussia 
 
 Treaty of Presburg with 
 Austria 
 
 180(7. 
 Mar. 30. 
 
 Joseph Buonaparte declared 
 
 king of Naples 
 June 5. Louis Buonaparte declared 
 
 king of Holland 
 July 26. Convocation of the Jews 
 — 27. Confederation of 'he Pihine 
 
 published 
 Sept, 24. Buonaparte marches against 
 
 Prussia 
 
 Biitlle «j| \in.i> adt 01 J«.'iia 
 liuocapitite e ,l< rs Btrliu 
 Hitnibuiuli tiiktii 
 Berlin dn rte 
 
 Battle of Fylau 
 15ati:e of 1)1. (Hand 
 Trt-aly of TiL^it 
 
 Joseph Buonaparte declared 
 
 king of .Spain 
 Surrentltr of Dupont'sarmy 
 
 at Bin til 
 Jo>e!!li Buonaparte evacu- 
 ates Mad I id 
 Battle of Vinicira 
 Conferences at hrfurih 
 Buonap. iiinvtsal Viltoria 
 Surrender of Madrid 
 
 Battle of Coruinia 
 Buonaparte returns to Paris 
 War declared by Austria 
 Buonaparte in-ads his auny 
 
 agai^l^^t .Ausina 
 French enter \ieima 
 Battle of Kslingor Asperne 
 Battle of Wiigrani 
 Flushing taken by the Eng- 
 lish 
 Treaty of Vienna 
 Lucien Buonaparte arrives 
 in England 
 Buonaparte's marriage with 
 
 Josephine dissolved 
 Walcheren evacuated by the 
 English 
 
 Buonaparte marries Maria 
 
 Louisa, dau. of Francis II. 
 Ilollant! ifc the HaiiseTouns 
 
 annexed to France 
 Bernadotte elected crown 
 
 prince of Swedt-n 
 Decree for restraining the 
 
 liberty of tlie press 
 
 Hamburgh annexed to llie 
 empire 
 Apr, CO. The empress delivered of a 
 son, who is staled king of 
 Kome 
 
 Oct. 
 
 N'ov. 
 
 14. 
 
 27- 
 19. 
 
 1 S07. 
 Feb. 8 
 June 14-. 
 July 7. 
 
 I80S. 
 July 7. 
 
 
 20. 
 
 
 29. 
 
 \ug. 21. 
 Sept. 27. 
 Nov. 5. 
 Dec. 4. 
 
 1 8 09. 
 Jan. 16. 
 
 April 
 
 6". 
 13. 
 
 
 May 
 
 10. 
 
 00 
 
 J.ly 
 Aug. 
 
 15. 
 
 Oct. 
 Dec. 
 
 14. 
 13. 
 
 
 16. 
 
 23. 
 
 
 
 ISIO. 
 Mar. 11. 
 
 July 
 
 9. 
 
 Aug. 
 
 21. 
 
 Dec. 
 
 — 
 
 1811. 
 Jan. 1.
 
 I?8 
 
 ILiterary Cifriosities, Epitttpha, JVonderfid Events^ 
 
 Sept. 2. B'J»nvi|>ai ie present at ;n 
 cniia^enient between the 
 B)ulogne liolilla and an 
 Euiiiisli cruiser 
 
 1812. 
 Jan. 22. 
 
 May 5. 
 
 June 1 1 
 
 23. 
 
 Aug. 18. 
 Sept. 7. 
 
 • 14. 
 
 Oct. 122. 
 Nov. 9. 
 Dec. 5. 
 
 iS. 
 
 1S13. 
 April — 
 
 Sept. 7- 
 
 28. 
 
 Oct. 18. 
 Kov. 1.^. 
 Bee. 1. 
 
 J814-. 
 Jan. 4, 
 JVIar. 30. 
 - — -31. 
 April 1 1 . 
 
 May S. 
 
 1815. 
 Biardi 1. 
 -20. 
 
 Swedish Pomerania seized 
 
 hy Ikion.ipaite 
 He heads the army against 
 
 Russia 
 Arrives at Konigsberg 
 Enters Wiina 
 Smo!ens!;<.> taken 
 Battle of Moskwa 
 French enter Moscow 
 Evacuate it again 
 Buonaparte at Smolensko 
 Quits the army 
 Arrives at Paris 
 
 Takes the conmiand of the 
 
 arriiy on the Elbe 
 Battle of Eutzen 
 Rattle of Bautzen 
 Arnisiice anreed on 
 Bulile of Vittoria 
 Hostilities reconinienre 
 BattU- of Dresden— Moreau 
 
 killed 
 English enter France 
 Buonap. evacuates Dresden 
 Bottle of Leipsic 
 Kevolution in Holland 
 Declaration of the allies at 
 
 Frankfort 
 Euglisli army cross the Nive 
 
 Allies cross the Rhine 
 Battle of Montniartre 
 Allies enter Paris 
 Buonaparte abdicates the 
 
 throne 
 Arrives at Elba 
 
 Sails from Elba to France 
 Arrives at Paris, and re- 
 a^suMies the throne 
 
 r 2j. Is dc-chued an outlaw by 
 
 the sovereigns of Europe, 
 
 then assendjled at Vienna 
 
 ilpiil — Calls a new house of peers, 
 
 and cha(i;ber of represen- 
 
 Ha lives of the people 
 
 June \6 
 18 
 
 July 22 
 
 Au: 
 
 Calls a Champ de Mai 
 Defeats the Prussians 
 Loses (lis army in a prcat 
 
 battle agajnst the English 
 
 and Prussia»)s 
 Abdicates the throne a se- 
 cond time 
 Surrenders himself to an 
 
 English ship of war otF 
 
 Koflu^fort 
 Arrives at Torbay 
 11. Sails from Eiigland in the 
 
 Nortlnimberland for St. 
 
 Helena. 
 
 The Lottery of Life. 
 
 THE following story is by Barclay 
 in his " Icon Anincoruni." Prince 
 Maurice, in an engagement with the 
 Spaniards, took twenty four prisoners 
 one of whom was an Englishman, 
 (named George Haslcwood.) He 
 ordered eight of these to be hanged, 
 to retaliate a like sentence passed by 
 Arcliduke Albert, upon the same 
 number of Hollanders. 
 
 The fate of the unhappy victims 
 was to be determined by drawing lots. 
 Tfie Englishman, who had the good 
 fortune to escape, seeing a Spaniard 
 express the strongest symptoms of 
 horror when it came to his turn to put 
 his hand in the helmet, oflered for 
 twelve crowiis to stand his chance. 
 The oiler was accordingly accepted, 
 and he was so fortunate as to escape 
 the second time; upon being called 
 a fool for so presumjituously tempt- 
 ing his fate, he said, " he thought he 
 acted very prudently; for as he daily 
 hazarded his life for sixpence, he 
 ntight have nsade a good bargain in 
 venturing it lor twelve crowns." 
 
 On a Puritanical LocJc-smf'h. 
 
 A ZEALOUS locli -smith dy'dof late', 
 And arrivVi at ticaven's gate, 
 I'e stood without and would not Unocke> 
 because he tucaut to picLe the locke.
 
 Interesting Narrathes^ Enigmas^ Fpis^rams^ Poetry^ Sec. 129 
 
 Totn Paine. 
 
 THE close of tlie life of this extra- 
 ordinary iJiHflel is tlius given in an 
 Anieii'^an publiration of iuitlienlicitv , 
 his liisf nioinerits cunnot be better de- 
 scribed, tban bv quotinir a passaire 
 from a letter written by Dr. Marilev, 
 who utteiided Paine during liis hi^l 
 iilness — About eleven months pre 
 \i<Histoliis death, exceptins: the last 
 six wteks, he was diunk twice a day. 
 The doctor thus states — 
 
 " Diiriiii; the latter p.irt of his life, 
 thouijli his ronversatii)n was equivocal, 
 Jiis conduit was siiiiiular: he would 
 not be left aloiie nii^ht or day He 
 not otily required to have "^oniehnrly 
 with hini, but he laust see that he or 
 she was tbtre; and w<;u'd not allow | 
 Lis curtain to be cio?ed at any time; 
 and if as sometimes would unavoid- 
 ably happen, he wis left al.me, be 
 would scream and hollow, until sume 
 person came to him. — When rel-ef 
 ftom pain would admit, he si.emed 
 thoughtful and contenij)! itii «j, his 
 eyes being generallj closed, and his 
 arms folded upon his breast, altnongh 
 he never slept without tiie assi^t ince 
 of an anodyne. — There was snmttliinu 
 remarkable in his conduct about t is 
 period (which com)>rises two weeks 
 immediately pre(:edins»,his de^th) par 
 ticularlv when we recollect that Paiii« 
 was the author of * Ilic Age of Rea 
 son." — He would call out, during hi* 
 paroxysms of distress, with inter- 
 inissi(»n, • O Lord help nie ! God help 
 nje! Jesus Christ help me! O Lok! 
 help rae,' &c. repeal mg the same ex- 
 pression, without the least variation. 
 in a tone of voice tiiat would alarm 
 the house. It was this conduct that 
 induced me to think that he had 
 abandoned his former opinions ; and 
 I was more inclined to that belief, 
 when I understood from his nurse 
 (who is a very serious, and I believe 
 a pious wonian) ihat he would ocra 
 -sionally inquire when he saw her with 
 
 a book, wh t she was reading; and 
 being answered, ' Hebart's Compa- 
 nion t() the Altar,' us»d at the same 
 'i'ne to ask, whether she simuld read 
 aloud, he ass< iitcd ; and would often 
 appear »o ijiv particular attention. I 
 too!; occiiM -n during the night of the 
 5tli or (Jth of Jiuie, to test tiie streuutU 
 of Ins opirM(»n rnspecliug tiie Reve'a- 
 lion — I pu -posely made Inm a Aery 
 late vi~if (t was a time which seemed 
 to sort exactly with my errand — M was 
 midnight — he was hi great >jistiv>3, 
 roustaitly «'\clainiing in the words 
 befoie-mention'>d, \>Jien after a con- 
 siderable prefic, I address* d liiin ia 
 the folj.iwiug manner: "Mr Paine, 
 w.ia opinions by a iar!?e |..>iiinn of 
 
 • H conniiui ity have been treat, d with 
 
 • letereuce ; }0U have ne er bvcn in 
 the habit of nn.\ing in your conversa- 
 tion words of c-' urse — you have never 
 indulged in the habit of profane swear- 
 ing; you M.ust be sensible we are ac- 
 quainted with your religions opinions, 
 as they are given to the world: what 
 must we think of your pre^euf con- 
 duct ? Whv do you call upon Jesus 
 Christ to help )0u? Do yon btlieve 
 that he can help ^ ou ? Do y u hi 'ieve 
 in the Divinity of J.sus Christ ? Come 
 now, answer n-.e honestly — I want aa 
 answer tnm the lips of a dNingman; 
 for 1 verd\ beheve you will not live 
 tweiity-four hours." I waited some 
 time at the end of every qiiestitin* Jie 
 did DOt answer, but ceased to exclaim 
 in the ab- ve uiamier. Again I ad- 
 dressed him, ' Mr. Paine jon have not 
 answ''red my questions: wnl noi* 
 answer them ? Allow ine to ask yt;U 
 again— D<. \oU believe, or, let me 
 qua if\ Ihf que'-tion ; do you wibh to 
 believe that Jesus Christ is tiie son of 
 •''Tod I" After a phuse or sonii n. mutes, 
 (le answered, ** I liave no wish to be- 
 lieve on that sutuject." I tiien left 
 him, and I know not vvhtth^r ' > spoke 
 to anv person on oi" suhjfd; 'h«)Uj.h 
 .1 liv»d, as 1 before obs«;rvcd> till the 
 morning of the 8 th," 
 
 s
 
 J50 IJterart/ Curiosities, Epilaphs, Woriderfid EtentSi 
 
 WHO, in I'is world of rare r.nd strife, 
 "Doth kindly cbex'V ar. H jweeteii i'.fe, 
 As friend, companiun, and as wife ? 
 
 'Tis Woman ! 
 
 Who by a (honsand tender wiles, 
 By fond endearments and by smiles. 
 Our bosom of its grief beguiles ? 
 
 'Tis woman ! 
 
 From whom do all our pleasures flow ; 
 "Who draws the 6cov|)ion stiii;? of woe. 
 And makes the heisrt wiili transport glow? 
 'lis woman ! 
 
 Who, of a nafnre more refin'd, 
 
 Dotli soften man's Miile stubborn mind. 
 
 And make him gentle, mild and kind ? 
 
 'Tis woman 1 
 
 Wlio binds us all to one another, 
 Py silken bands, of father, mother. 
 Of hosband, children, sister, i>rother ? 
 
 'Tis woniaH ! 
 
 When hours of absence past we meet, 
 S:iy, who euraptur'd runs to greet 
 Our glad return, with kisses sweet ? 
 
 'Tis woman I 
 
 Who, by a word, a touch, a sigh, 
 I'he simple glanciii,^ of her eye. 
 Can fill the soul with ecstacy ? 
 
 'Tis wonian ! 
 F.>ien sha lost, ensnared to vice. 
 But well has she repaid its price. 
 For earth is made a paradise 
 
 By woman ! 
 
 Bid me with n'andate stern prepare, 
 Toeope witb famiiie, death, despair, 
 A\], alljUndaiiiittd 1 would be;:r 
 
 For vroman ! 
 
 Place me upon some de«art shore. 
 Round w!:ich the angry tempests roar. 
 My constant soul should still adore, 
 
 u Dear woman ! 
 
 Guide me to mountains white with snow, 
 Where chilling winds tor ever blow, 
 E'eu there contented I would go 
 
 With woman ! 
 
 ■Drep, deep, within the raoiin'ain's side, 
 
 I'd dig a cavern for my bride. 
 
 And there my treasure 1 would hide, 
 
 3.1y awii dear woman I 
 
 On Mr. John Day. 
 
 JirPiF. lies the body f^f John Dan: 
 1^'iiat iioHtiy John'f no, no. Old John? 
 Aye. 
 
 A new Punishment for Bigamy. 
 
 AN am'rous Scot intent on pleasure, strove 
 To multiply the joys of wedded love, 
 And that so wise a man might have an heir, 
 Instead of one youHg wife — he took a pair^ 
 Two noble virgins grac'd his worthless 
 
 arms. 
 And lavished on a perjnr'd wretch their 
 
 charms. 
 The trick discovered — hostile nobles throng: 
 T' obtain redress for each sad consorfs 
 
 wrong : 
 'Our peccadillos, when compar'd with this- 
 Dire outrage,* they exclaim'd, 'are not- 
 amiss; 
 Gaming, seduction, nay adultery seem 
 Mere bubbles on gay fashion's eddyinjf 
 
 stream, 
 Compar'd with snch enormous vice — thi*' 
 
 crime 
 Might be excusable in Asia's clime, 
 But must be punished here; what sentence' 
 
 say 
 Should be denounc'd on those who thu»- 
 
 betray ?' 
 T.et the delin(|uent be condemn'd to dwell 
 With both ft/Aiorces—they'll make his home 
 
 a hell; 
 Daily reproaches, nightly brawls shall prove 
 His torment who abus'd a woman's love. 
 Pass such a law — and England shall be free 
 From future instances of bigamy. 
 
 A Dream. 
 
 I DRFAM D, that, buried in my fellow 
 
 clay, 
 Close by a common beggar^s side T lay, 
 And, as so meaa a neighbour shock'd my 
 
 pride, 
 Thus, like a corpse of consequence T cry'd : 
 Scoundrel, begone ; and henceforth touck 
 
 nie not ; 
 Afore manners learn, and at a distance rot, 
 How ! scoundrel ! in a haughtier tone, said 
 
 he; 
 Trend lump of dirt ! I scorn thy words, and 
 
 thee : 
 Here ail arc equal; now thy case is mine; 
 This is my rottiug-piace, and that is thine. 
 
 Upon John Death, 
 
 flF.RE lies John Death, the very same. 
 Thai went away with a cousin of his name,^ 
 
 Cooks ii.id Curates. 
 
 .*t nVXDR ED n year to a man cook to give. 
 With a plentiful table few nobles for!ie.".r > 
 
 Oft a curate »;eis thirty, and yet T believe. 
 If he din'd with Duke Humphrey few 
 rectors would care.
 
 Interestwf^ Nnrralhes, Enis^mas, Epis:rams, Poclri/, S,'C. \3l 
 
 Cheap TravelUug. 
 
 ' JOHN KILRURN, a person well 
 linown oil the turf as a li^jl-sfllcr, &c. 
 beinc; at a town in liflfoid^hirc, atui 
 accoriliiig to a In if plirase, quite 
 broke down : it was in harvest time, 
 th" week bidfore Richiijond races, n€;ir 
 which place he was bcrn, ami to jr- 
 rive tiiere in time, he hit on the fol- 
 lowing expedient: — lie appiiid to a 
 Macksmi'.Ii of his acquaintance to 
 s'.aaip on a p/Aiilock llit word'«, * Ricli- 
 Kidiid (iijoj/ w!i!«!i, with the chain, 
 v.as fixed to one of his logs, and he 
 Qonrpusedlv wejit into a corn field to 
 sleep. As lie expected, lie was soon 
 appreliendetl, and taken before a 
 magistrate, who, after sonie delibera- 
 tion, ordered two constables to guard 
 him ill a carriage to Fkicliniond, no 
 Irinie being to be lost, Kilbuni saving 
 he had not been tried, and hoping 
 they would not let him la\ till another 
 assize. The constables, on their 
 arrival at -the caol accosied the keeper 
 with — " Sir, do you know this man i" 
 *:■ Ves, very well; it is Kiiburn: I 
 Jiave known him many years." "We 
 suppose lie has broi<e4i out of your 
 gaol, as he has a cfiain and padlock 
 en wilh your mark. Is not he a pri- 
 soner ?' '•' A prisoner ! — I never heard 
 any h:irm of iiim in my life." " Nor," 
 says Kiiburn, " have theso f^entlemen, 
 £ir. They have been so iiood as to 
 bring me out of Bedfordsiiiie, and I 
 will not give them any further trouble. 
 I have got tiie key of the padlock, 
 and I'll not trouble tliem to iiidock it. 
 I thank them for tlK;ir good us.^£[e." 
 The distance he thus travelled was 
 about one hundred anil seventy miles. 
 
 Tke Crooked Lady^ 
 
 A VERY crookeit lady 
 Did shew Mi\ Grady, 
 
 Her hall, ol' a very great lieiglit ; 
 " Rut, madam," say." lie, 
 " Tl}oui;!i very higti it be. 
 
 You never caa stand in't upright." 
 
 Sin^t'Jnr ?iOtire w/iick appeared in 
 
 the Dailt! A(h ertiser, after u Gen- 
 
 tf email's House, in stanhope- Strata 
 
 liad been broke opeji. 
 
 *■ Mii. U , of Stanhope-Street. 
 
 presents ^ his niost respi-ctiul ccmpli- 
 nients to the gentlemen nha did him 
 the honor of eating a c.iuple of roasted 
 chicken, diiiikiiig sundry tankards of 
 ale, and three botllesof old Madeira, 
 at his house, on Mon(hn night, 
 
 * Fn their haste tiiey tOok away the 
 tankard, to which Ihey are heartily 
 welcome j to the table spoons and the 
 ligiit guineas which v.'cre in an old 
 red Morocco jioeket book, they are 
 also heartily ivelcome ; but in the said 
 pockit book theie were several loose 
 papers, which consisting of private 
 nuniorandunis, receipts, (tc. can be 
 of no use to Ids land and fricndii/ \i' 
 sitors, but arc iniportant to him; he 
 therefore Iiopes and trusts they will 
 be so polite as to take souie opportu- 
 nity of returning them. 
 
 •• For an old fiimilv watch, wbiclj 
 was in the same drawer, he cannot 
 ask on the sa.5ne terms; but if any 
 could be pointed oi.it, by \vl;ich he 
 could replace it with twice as many 
 iieavy guineas as thev cmj get f<)r it, 
 he would gladly be the pureliaser." 
 
 "W. R." 
 
 A few nigiits afftr, a |)ackel, with 
 the foliowiiig letter inclosed, was drop- 
 ped into the area of his bouse. 
 
 "Sir, — You rsre quite a geuiman. 
 Not being used to your Madeira, it 
 got into pur upper works, or we never 
 should b.ive cribbed your papers; 
 I hey be all inarched back ag.da with 
 tiie red book. 
 
 '•Your ale Vv-as mortal good; the 
 tankard and spoons were made into a 
 white soup, in Duke's l^lace, two hours 
 bffore day li^ht. The old family 
 watch cases were at the same tinse 
 made into a brown grcvi/, and the 
 ga-fs ?iciv chrisiened, are on their voy- 
 age to Holland. 
 
 " if they had not been transported, 
 s 2
 
 132 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs^ Wonderful Extents^ 
 
 you hhdulfl liave llitin again, for yiu 
 are quite the genlnidii ; but you know, 
 as the) liave been christened, anil goi 
 a r.ew name, they would no Lmafr 
 be of vour old faniilv. And so sir, 
 we have nothing nu e to say, but that 
 we are n;uch obiiuaied to you, ano 
 shnll be ylad tosarve and visit yoti b\ 
 lu'ght or by day, and are your humblf 
 sarvants to con>n)aiid." 
 
 On Pluralities. 
 
 WITH three livings loaded some parsons 
 
 we V iew, 
 Th.'t others get none "e allow ; 
 An t Id fashion d proverb ttiuugb homely i 
 
 (nif, 
 JMeo are willing to "grease the fat sow.' 
 
 Mtlancholy Fact. 
 
 SULLIVAN was an unfortunate 
 Trishnuni, inirned by impetuosity ai.« 
 reMntmeni, into a bold and unwar 
 rantable enter|^rize. He did not, hkt 
 iiis American liamesake, help to con- 
 vert succe.ssful rebellion into a glori- 
 ous revohitiou, but lell an ignoniini';us 
 victim to the passions, those aibitiary 
 tyrants, vhich so few of us are able 
 to resist. 
 
 Having formed an attachment to 
 an amiable young wonian, of poli-lied 
 and euiiaaiiig n>aiiners, he was admit- 
 ted as Ik r lovj r ; but, from scire tri- 
 fling disagreeravnt, in which his con- 
 slilutional ardor somewhat overleaped 
 the bounds of discretion and decorum, 
 bis visits liad, for a short time, been 
 forbidden. Stung with keen dtMn, 
 and wearied by t dious exprciation, 
 be broke into her mother's house at 
 the dead of night, seized her in his 
 arms, and in spite of outcries, tea is, 
 and resistance, conveyed her to a 
 lonely sequestered spot in the county 
 of Limeiick. 
 
 After securing the avenues of h.s 
 retreat, which was an ancient castle, 
 and considering himself as safe fron. 
 the danger of immediate pursuit, he 
 conducted the trembling fair one into 
 
 •1 retiied chamber, and addressed her 
 ■ u the following words: 
 
 " Y<ai have tortured nie so long on 
 he lentei hooks of suspense, and in 
 I lie agonies of dela\ed hope, that it 
 IS not possible to flatter my-elf with 
 enjoying the least share of your afiec- 
 tions: — but il is now too late to strug- 
 gle against an infatuation whirh has 
 wound itself round the flbves of my 
 ii.'art ; it siiall not," (continued Sulli- 
 van, his eyes flashinc at oiice with 
 \engeanre ami fierce desire) " it shall 
 not remain for an insulting riv^l, lo 
 riot on those beauties, which, to coU' 
 t*nij>late, has been, for many a day, 
 the only solace of my life." 
 
 iHaf to her most earnest entreaties, 
 .•iattentive to remonstrances and tears, 
 he pr.isned her in his arms, with the 
 ■ude energy of savage appetite, and 
 ivas as happy as the struggles of re- 
 luctant beauty, and raptures, not mu- 
 tual, could make him. 
 
 So flagrant a violation of the laws, 
 alarmed the crmntry ; and a detach- 
 ment of soldiers, headed by the sheriff, 
 in a few days rescued the lady, and 
 conducted Sullivan to prison. He 
 was tried and convicted; but, before 
 sentence of death was passed, the 
 court permitted him to put the fol- 
 !< viiig qutstion : " Madam! matters 
 iiave been carried against me with a 
 high hand, ani tliey are now come 
 to an extreniit) which it is only in 
 your power to pr<lliate; if you will 
 marry me, the court will perhaps con- 
 sider my case in another ligi.t, and 
 I save my lifel" "H 1 Joved you," 
 (instantly replied the violated and 
 j indignant female, erect, with just 
 pride and resentment) " if I loved 
 j \ou lo distraction, I would not stir a 
 ' s!ep to save your lite; though the 
 punishment you are about to undergo 
 will not restore my blasted honour, it 
 may hereafter protect innocence from 
 violence and villainy." 
 
 This impetuous and mi.'^guided pu- 
 pil of impulse, soon after sufiered an 
 ignominious death.
 
 Inferedins; Narrathes^ Emgjnas, Epigrams, Poeiri/, SfC. 1 SS 
 
 Less to Cai-) h a-nd less to Count. 
 
 A CHIMNF.VSWEEPEnS boy 
 Weill l.iltiv iiUo a tvaker's shop in rlie 
 Strand fnr a two-penny lai', a'j;* 
 concei-'ing it to b«- <linii»uiti\c in siz , 
 he remarked to tiie hakcr, I hat Iv 
 cJ:(l not be i?ve \\ was wei^^ht " Nev. j 
 niitid that," replied tl e ihan •<{ donuh; 
 *• y<.>u \vi|f have Itss to c ;r) i; " " True" 
 rej(»iiied ihe lad, «iid throuin* three- 
 halfpence on the counttr, U ft th« 
 shop. The b«ker called after hi- . 
 th«f he had not p:iid inone\ enongi;. 
 '•Never mind tnal," hailoed nohi;" 
 sooty, "yiiii will hsive less to count." 
 
 The Progress of Life. 
 
 ALL the world's a "tai^e. 
 And all th men '.od ^onen merely players ; 
 Tlipy h;ive lii-eir exits and IJeir entrance:* ; 
 And one man in bis iime plays nuny parts, 
 His acts being seven ages — At first the 
 
 infant 
 Mulingf and piikins: in the nnrse's arms. 
 And then the whiniDg^ school-boy, with bis 
 
 satchel, 
 And shining' morning face, creeping^ likt^ 
 
 snail 
 Unwillingly fo school. And then the lover, 
 Sighing like farna'-e with a woeful ballad 
 Wade to his mi«lress' eye-brow. Then a 
 
 soldier, 
 Fnll of strange oaths, and bearded lik? the 
 
 pard, 
 Jealons in honour, sadden and qnick in 
 
 quarrel ; 
 Seekiiig the bubble reputatioa 
 Even in *hc caunoa's mouth. And theu the 
 
 justice, 
 la fair round belly with good capon lin'd. 
 With eyes severe, and beard of formal cut. 
 Full of wise saws and modern instances, — 
 And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts 
 Into the lean and slipp r*d Panlaloou, 
 VTiih spectacles on nose, and pouch on side : 
 His youthful hose well sav'd, a world too 
 
 wide 
 For his shrunk shanks; and his big manl) 
 
 voce, 
 Turnipg again toward childish treble, pipes. 
 And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all. 
 That end* this strange eventful history, 
 Is second childishness, and mere oblivion. 
 Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans every 
 
 thing! 
 
 Upon one Blind and Deaf. 
 HERE lies Dicky Freeman, 
 That could notbeare nor see man. 
 
 Rustic Rhifmist, 
 
 OUR learned poet, Ben Jonson^ 
 'la&sins: one dny alone Fleel-fUreet, 
 near the then Devil Tavern, observing 
 the eyes of a country bumpkm -.ted- 
 lastly fixed on the window of a j^ro- 
 ■ er's, gently tapped him on the 
 shoulder, and ir.<juired what so par- 
 •irniarly had attracted his attention? 
 " Why, master," replied U-.ipii, '* I 
 he adnnring that nice po«-tiy t.Vf^r the 
 ■>h p." "How can you make liiat 
 ihvii"-?" replied Ben: — "ihe words 
 '^,— Coffee and 'lea to be sold." 
 "Thus," answered the rustic: — 
 
 " Coffee and Tea 
 " To be S--o--l"d." 
 
 The poet was so well pleased with the 
 ti)out;ht, that he took Halph imnie- 
 diately into his service, in whi^h h^ 
 continued until J nson'^ death. 
 
 Occasioned bp a Report, that her Grace the 
 Ditchers Dowager of Marlborough had 
 offered a reward of £i'00 to the Pcet who 
 should best exert his gen us in honor of 
 the late Duke lier husband. 
 
 FTVK hundred pounds! too small a booH) 
 To put a poet's muse in tune. 
 
 That nothing may cs<ape her ; 
 .'•ou'd she a" temp* t ' her>ic story 
 Of the illustrioiis Churchill' ■ glurv. 
 
 It scarce wou'd buy the paper. 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 A MERCHANT well known at the 
 Royal Exch.ir.;-e, who lalelv died sud- 
 denly, left in hi-> buieaii .m euistle 
 written to one of his r,orr«'spon tia^, 
 vvl;icl5 lie had not sealed. His so^/ici- 
 ous clerk (a Faild\) seein^j it uict>!„.ry 
 to send the letier, wrote at tue 
 bottom. 
 ' Since writing the abvi', I have died* 
 
 On Richard Button, Esq ii:ho was interred 
 in a Church near Salisbury. 
 
 OH Sun! Aiooa ! Stars aud ye ceiesiial 
 Pors! 
 .\re<?racejtbeadwiadIediutoBM(it).i-/tyJts,
 
 134 lAlerary Curiosities, Epitaphs^ Wonderful Etents, 
 
 Prii.iers and i'omposiicrs. 
 
 CURIOUS mistakes are sometime 
 pr ''ured iii pruir, amonii which th( 
 fo.K'wiiij; , IV recorded bv Mi. M.Uone. 
 
 The reatler iiecfi nol be told ihul 
 vhisi was li'e iiiirieiil inlerjection foi 
 silence; from which the name of h 
 favourite gume, or rather rt si <>«ce at 
 card-, is su}>|)' sed lo be derived, as 
 rcqiuriiiii mule aUfiilion. 
 
 (ii this sense h is vised by an old 
 traiisliiii.r ot the Jineid of Virgil, at 
 the beuiniiny of the second book. 
 Conikiieit omnes are the words of the 
 Honian poet, which are thus done 
 info English: — " They wl.isted ail;' 
 but the compositor, either a humour- 
 isi or luo fond of ale, by adding a 
 I» Her, h>is given the passage a laugh- 
 able tarn, "'ihe> whistled (lU! ' 
 
 To many laughable errors <.f the 
 press the foihiwing may be added. 
 Ihe Potatoes of Europe iiave been 
 CK'-iet' <.n to resi»,t the auibilious views 
 of Friiiicc ; and the Dog; of Venice 
 once f^ave audit nee to an English 
 Ambassador. A British senator has 
 asked leave to bring in a Bull, and 
 tiie House of Commons has proceeded 
 to the order of the Dey; an Irish 
 ot]icei received a Confusion in his head ; 
 and an advertise«nent in a newspaper, 
 once announced an eflectuai cure for 
 Raptures. Rice has been made an 
 ingredient in a cure for the plague, 
 instead of Ivue ; and a professional 
 man reudt red ridiculous, by publish- 
 ing a Si/l/abub oi his lectures. 
 
 Dr. Roi;er long. 
 
 ' THIS celebrated astrolotier walk- 
 inijone dark eveuiiig with a gentleman, 
 in Cambridge, and the latter coming to 
 a short past fixed in the pavement, 
 which, in the earnestness of conversa- 
 lion, he took to be a boy standing in 
 his way, s-iid liastily, " Get out of the 
 way, boy !" — "'lliat buy, t:ir/' rej)lied 
 the doctor, very calmly, " is a post 
 hoy, who never turns out of his way 
 for anj' body i" 
 
 To a Fnsnd on the choice of a Wife. 
 
 \ WOULD not havettiee, Streption, chuse 
 
 a mate 
 *^rom too exalted, or too mean a state ; 
 
 or iQ botti these we-may expect to find 
 A creeping- spirit, or a hauglity Qiiprt. 
 Who moves within the middle rrgioii shares 
 The least disquiet, and the smallest -ares. 
 Let her exivacliou with true lustre shine; 
 If something brighter, not too brig^ht for 
 
 thine : 
 Her education liberal, not great. 
 Neither inferior, nor above he. state. 
 Let her have wit, hut let that wi? he free 
 From atfectat'oo, pride, and pedanuy ; 
 For the effect of woman's wit is such. 
 Too little itf as danj^erous as too mii<h. 
 But, chiefly, let hsp Lumour close with 
 
 thine. 
 Unless where your's does to a fault incline ; 
 The least disparity in this destroys. 
 Like si;lph'rous blasts, the very buds of 
 
 joys. 
 Her person amiable, straight, and free 
 From natural, or chance deformity, 
 'et not her years exceed, if equal thine, 
 For women j);)*;! their vigour soon decline. 
 Her fortune competent ; and, if thy sight 
 >"an reach so far. take care 'tis gatherd right 
 f f thine's enough , then her's may be the less: 
 Do not aspire to riches in excess ; 
 For that which makes our lives delightful 
 
 prove, 
 Is a genteel sufficiency, and leve. 
 
 Full Measure. 
 
 A QUAKER, on alighting from 
 the Bristol *' leathern convenience," 
 immediately on his entering the inn, 
 called for some potter, and observing 
 the pint deficient in quantity, tlius ad- 
 dressed the landlord : " Pray, friend, 
 how ntany butts of beer dost thou 
 draw ill a month 1 " Ten, sir," replied 
 Boniface; *'aiid wouhKt like to draw 
 ekven if thou couldst?" rejoined Ebe- 
 nezer. "Certainly," exclaimed the 
 smiling landlord. *• Tiien I will tell 
 thee how, friend," added the qiiaker 
 " Fill thy measures." 
 
 On Xothiijg. 
 
 ON nothing must I, Rosa, write. 
 And no one charin of yours indite? 
 
 The niasc is most unruly — 
 A theme mure easy hhe would woo, 
 Jiore Foft, moro IjMHiiiHl than jou, 
 
 Aadtbal is nof/»j«<; truly !
 
 Interesting Nttrrathes, Enigmas^ Epigrams^ Poetry, See. 1S5 
 
 The Rabbis and Mijthologi/ or 
 Sneezing. 
 
 THE age. Anno 750, is rerkor.er' 
 the asrd of the custom of ^aying, Goc 
 bless you, to one who happens ti 
 sneeze. It is said thai in the timi 
 of the pontificate of St. Grcoory thr 
 Great, the air wa"- filleil with such h 
 deleterious influence, that they \vh- 
 sneezed immediately expired. Oi 
 this the devout pontiff appointed ;• 
 foim of prayer, and a wish t(^ be said 
 to persons sneezing, for advertins 
 them from the fatdl effects of ihi> 
 malignancy. A fable contrived against 
 all the rules of probability, it bcinii 
 certain that this custom has from 
 time immeraoridl subsisted in all parts 
 of the known world. Accordiiii^ to 
 rnytholi>gy, the first sign of life 
 Promelhcus's artificial man gave, 
 "ivas by sternuation, This supposed 
 creator, is said to have stolen a por- 
 tion of the solar rays; and fillinii 
 with them a phial, which he made on 
 purpose, sealed it up hermetically. 
 He instantly flies back to his favouiite 
 automaton, and opening the phial 
 held it close to the statue; the r.iys 
 still retaining all their activity, in- 
 sinuate them!«elves through the pore^, 
 and set the factitious man a sneezing. 
 I?iometheus, traiisptvrted with the 
 success of his machine, ofi'crs up a 
 fervent prayer, with wishes for the 
 preservation of so singular a beint». 
 His automato-n observed him, and 
 nmembering his ejaculations, was 
 vt'ry careful, on the like occasions, 
 to offer these wishes in behalf of his 
 tlesccndants, who perpetuated it 
 from father to son in all their colonies. 
 
 1 he rabbis, speaking of this cus- 
 tom, do likewise give it a very ancient 
 date. They say, thnt not long after 
 the creation, God made a general 
 decree, that every man living should 
 sneeze but once, and that at the very 
 instant of his sneezing, his sou! should 
 depart, without any previous in<lis- 
 pusiiiou. Jacob by no means liked 
 
 o precipitate a way of eavii;g th© 
 '\orld. as being desirous of sett'inc** 
 
 is family atl'airs. and those of his 
 conscience ; he pro-i rated himself 
 jefnre the Lord, wresiU-d a secomt 
 "line with him, and earnestlv entreat- 
 
 d the favour «jf beirg excepte.l trnm 
 the decree. His pisyer washtard, 
 »nd he sneezed nilhi.ut d\ing. All 
 the print i'3 of tiie univer-e l>ein» 
 acquainted with the tact, unanimous- 
 ly ordered that, foi the future, 
 sneezing should be accompanied witU 
 thanksgiviiiiis for the peiservatioB, 
 and wishes for the proli.ijoation of 
 life. We pe;ceive, even in these 
 fictions, tbe vestiges of tiaditi- n and 
 history, which places the epocKa of 
 this civility, long before that <jf 
 Christianity. It was accounted very 
 ancient even in the tiiViC of Aristotle, 
 who in his problems has endeavouieii 
 to account for it, but knew nothin'» 
 of its origin. According to Iiim, the 
 first man, prepossessed with the high- 
 est ideas concerning the head, as the 
 principal seat of the soul, that intel- 
 ligent substance governing and ani- 
 mating the whole human system, 
 carried their respect even to ster- 
 nuation, as the most manifest and 
 most sensible operation of the head. 
 Hence those several forms of compli- 
 ments Used on similar occasions 
 amongst the Greeks and Romans: 
 Long may you live ! May you enjoy 
 health! Jupiter preserve you. 
 
 Reply to a Person suspected of Publishing 
 the Labours of another as his own. 
 
 SAYS Jack, 'I've published somethin^jnew. 
 Hast read it yet?' — <No, Jack, have you?* 
 
 On Matrimony, 
 .*: X ;' X X X & but e e e. 
 
 Ansiver. 
 
 Expect great crosses, and but little 
 
 ease.
 
 135 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, JVonderful Events, 
 
 A Sketch of the Life of Jane Shoi t. 
 
 JANESliore was dauvhterto a cii 
 2Pn of London : her y<»uth and beau In 
 l)t'inj; her chief portion, she was in 
 duced t<» marry, much against hf. 
 inclination, Mr. Matthew Shore, a 
 goldsmith, in I.omhard-strect, a pe - 
 son extremely rich, but much adva,, 
 ced in years The fame vi this lady 
 far (^rom b<ing ctrnfined within ih' 
 limit-iof the city, soon reached the 
 earsof IMaje>iy. for Edwatd IV^ made 
 his addres-es to her, and won hei. 
 HerJiiibband Ifft England, she repair- 
 ed to court, and sh me with spltndoi 
 in the sphere ot' gaiety and festivity. 
 Historians repre ent her extremely 
 bc.iu'iful, reniiikabiy cheartui, and 
 of most unrommon i>enerosity. The 
 lvin<i, they further tell us, was not less 
 captivated with her temper than he 
 person, as she never spoke ill of, or 
 endeavoured to pifjudiie him against 
 any boily. She olten indeed impor- 
 tuned him, but always in behalf ot the 
 unfortunate, She scorned to be re- 
 garded for her good offices ; h*;! 
 riches, therefore, were trifling, when 
 ihe fell into misfoi tunes. By all the 
 accounts we have of this lady, she had 
 as many excuses foi ienKile fiaiit}, as 
 ever came to any woman'-- share. Her 
 mind was formed for magnificence, 
 iis her hea-.t was for virtue ; both of 
 them could not be gratified, anu vir- 
 the sunk in the unequal contest : yet 
 with su ranch modesty did she employ 
 tue ascendancy she had over Edward, 
 that even the pride of the queen, the 
 most sensible sufferer, was never of- 
 lended at their intimacy. The friend- 
 ship she had gained by her munifi- 
 cence, lier benevolence, and her af- 
 iahility, hud made her considerable, 
 even in the beginning ot this reign. 
 Upon the death of Edward, it was 
 that her scene of adverbiiy began to 
 shew itself. With the amiable Lord 
 ILislings she continued her unlawlul 
 <^uii)m«ice: bui thi» nobicLQan was 
 
 sii much devoted to the !^ve of his 
 royal ma--tei, that he did not, till 
 the death of the king, discover Uh 
 passion tor his favourite mistress. 
 And now, ooth "-fieaiid her noble 'ord 
 vegan to shew ihemselvts so unalter- 
 ihly devoted to the voun:; monarch, 
 
 nd his f)rother, as to render them- 
 M'lves objects of hatred to the protec- 
 <>r Gloucester, afterwards Richard 
 ill. who looked upon them as the 
 main obstacles of his deep-laid ambi- 
 tion. To give some colour to his pro- 
 cr. (iifgs ayainst Ilasting*;, whom he 
 < ;»i«sed suddcnlv to be beheaded, he 
 directed 'hesheviff of London to arrest 
 Mrs. Shore, as his accomplice, and 
 
 ent her to the Tower for examination. 
 Nothing, howevci, (her illicit com- 
 merce with Edward and Hastings ex- 
 cepted,) appearing against her, it was 
 matter of indignation as well as ri- 
 cicule. to see the formidable charge 
 ot treason and witchcraft terminate 
 in a single penance. — This penance 
 'he was obliged to peiforin on the 
 Sunday mi'ining next following; being 
 brought cloathed in a white sheet, by 
 way of procession, from the Bishop 
 of London's palace to St. Paul's 
 church, with the cross carried before 
 her, and a wax taper in her hand. 
 This sentence she undeiwent with a 
 behaviour so graceful but so resigned, 
 'hat the punishment ol her crime be- 
 came, a-> it were, a tiiumph over the 
 hearts of her beholders : nor was her 
 punishments confined to her person 
 only ; for the protector seized the 
 little fortune she had made, about tw o 
 or three thousand maiks, and oider- 
 ed her house to be rifled. It has 
 been said also, his hatred pursued 
 her to such extremity, that it was 
 
 angcrous after this for any one to 
 accommodate her with lodging, or the 
 comiuon necessaries of life ; thus far 
 I lie generality of historians. There 
 have not been wanting some however, 
 of a very different oimiion, who will 
 not allow Richard to have beeu the
 
 Intereatin^ Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, SfC. 137 
 
 tyrant he is generally rcpresenteJ 
 Thcv iirje that ihc nation was over- 
 whelmed with ignorance, so that 
 scarce a man in it was able to write 
 except the monks; that the>^e men 
 had it iii tlieir power to represen' 
 people just as they pleaded ; ih^-' 
 neither Richard II. nor Richard ill 
 were s^iierous to churchmen; that, 
 therefore, the accounts of such 
 wrilers cann.t strictly be con-idered 
 as authentic, as they may be ground- 
 ed upon resentment and malice, 
 rather thai) direct fact. It is aiided, 
 that some of the monks taking oc- 
 casion to cry out asjainst the sin of 
 aduhery, and exclaiminn against 
 Jane Shore, she was delivered over 
 to the >piritual power, and that they 
 laid their own Usaoe to the charge ot 
 Richard. Mr. Rowe seems to have 
 built his tragedy upon the foundation 
 of an old historical ballad, which iioi 
 only adopts the cruil orderot Richard, 
 but informs us that she perished with 
 hunger in a loathsome place, since 
 called Shoreditch Whatever the so 
 verity might be that was excercised 
 against her, certain it is she found 
 support, and was alive (and suffici- 
 ently wretched) under the leign ot 
 Henry Vill. It appears that Sir 
 Thomas More knew her, but, alas ! 
 without the least remains of her former 
 beauty. — " Proper she was (savs this 
 great man) and fair, nothing in her 
 body you would have changed, but 
 if you would have wished her some- 
 what hiuher. Alheit some that now 
 see her, deme her never to have i)een 
 well visaged ; whose judgement secm- 
 eth me somewhat like, as thoush men 
 should gue-s the beauty of owe lono 
 before departed, by her scalp takei 
 out of the charnel-house. For hoh 
 ihe is old, lean withered, and diied 
 up, nothing left but ryvildc- skin and 
 hard bone. — At this day (continues 
 he) she l)e>;ged of many, at this diy 
 living, thai at this day had begged if 
 she had not been." 
 
 T/ie Loin of Beef. 
 
 AS King Henry VIII. was huntinw 
 in Windsor Forest one day, he lost 
 himself, prob.'.bly on purpo';e. Upjii 
 vvlrch Ik* struck down, about dmner 
 lime, to Reading, where he disguised 
 iiitnselfin the h.ibitofa ye<Mnan of 
 •he king's guard : for one of whom 
 'iv hi^ stature and figure he might 
 well pass. 
 
 He went to the Abbey, anH was 
 invited to (li'H> at the Abbot's table. 
 A Sir Loin of Beef w:is set before him, 
 so knijhted, saith tradition, by this 
 King Henry; on which his majesty 
 laid on lustily, not disgracing the 
 coat of a king's beef-eater, for whom 
 lie was taken. ' Well fare thy he<^rt, 
 (quoth the abbot) and here, in a cup 
 of sack, I rememb'^r the health of his 
 L'race vour master. I would give an 
 h indred pounds, upon the condition 
 tiiit I could feed ",0 heartily on beef as 
 you. Alas! mvweaka'.* queainibh 
 -lomach will hardly dig*'st the win^ of 
 ■i small rabbit or chicken." The 
 king merrily pledged him, and heart- 
 dv thanking him for his g')')d cheer, 
 after dinner departed undiscovered. 
 Some weeks after, the abbot was 
 ent for by a king^'s messenger, brought 
 np fo London, clapped info the 
 Tower, kept close prisoner, and fed 
 for several days with bread and water 
 only. 
 
 rhe abbot's mind was sorely dis- 
 quieted with thoughts and su^plClon«:, 
 .'low he miiiht have incurred the 
 Kings di'iplea ure. At las; the day- 
 came, on whi( h a Sir Loin f)t Beef 
 was set beT.ire him, on v\hicii tlie 
 al)bot fed like the farmer of hi^ grange, 
 ;in(l verified the proverb, that *' two 
 huiisry meaK m'\e the third a 
 glutton." In boll- King tleuiv, out 
 of a private lobby, where he had 
 ji'afcd himself the invisible spectator 
 ■t the abbot's beha'iour." "My 
 lord (quotli the kini') lay down im- 
 mediately your hundred pounds m
 
 j8 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, IVonderful Enents, 
 
 goki, or else there shall be no going 
 hence for you all the days of youi 
 life. I have been your physician ; I 
 have cured you of your squeamish 
 stomach, and here as I deserve, 1 
 demand my reward for the same." 
 
 The abbot, glad to escape so, de 
 posited the cash, and returned to 
 Reading, murmuring at the severity 
 of the docto 's regimen, and the ex- 
 orbitance ot his fees. 
 
 Lord Chesterfield's Ghost. 
 
 TIME was sir, for trnth T will tell. 
 When my precepts with gentlefolks bore off 
 
 tbeliell, 
 On me ev'ry nobleman laiJ greatest stress, 
 Sly name was the passport for true pofite.sse. 
 Lord Chesterfield's maxim* the standard 
 
 were made, 
 I presided sole chieftain, and would be 
 
 obey'd ; 
 I tendered advice withont favour or fee. 
 Mankind con"d not eat, drink or sleep wi(h- 
 
 onl me ; 
 But where I both favour and fee now to 
 
 tender, 
 I should not convert even one foul offender; 
 In short from all ranks now are bani:«li'd 
 
 the traces. 
 Of that charming /r/o^I mean friend the 
 
 Grflct*. 
 But it is not in condnct alone, that the 
 
 nation 
 Most fnlly evinces its degeneration: 
 E'en he who should model the manners 
 
 and times, 
 Whether writer of Prose or composer of 
 
 Khymes, 
 This sad/alliiig off by hisiaboiirexciises, 
 Which bears no alliance with Mesdames 
 
 the Muses: 
 But now fnr your Potts, prose always 
 
 must follow 
 The flights of those sons of Parnassian 
 
 Apollo. 
 Epic labours come first, which for weight 
 
 and f(>r size. 
 Dispute with fat Lambert the unweildy 
 
 prize ; 
 Broad margins of wire-wove their lilly hues 
 
 mix, 
 With streamlets of text, as obnoxious as 
 
 fctyx; 
 To sense so repuIsAc, they needs must 
 
 ensteep 
 That syul who would scan 'em in Lethtan 
 
 sleep. 
 
 Of such 1 might quote a whole string, did 
 
 I choose, 
 But i' faith I'm afraid of offending the 
 
 Muse ; 
 Suffice it to say they find parents to foster, 
 In that mightyfrm which astounds Paler' 
 
 Noster. 
 Next to these drawl your verses half mo- 
 dern — half old 
 In whose numbers the feats of gome knight 
 
 are enroU'd. 
 A style so bombast 'tis nor this thing nor -J 
 
 that ; 
 But no rank in confusion with Babylon's 
 
 brat. 
 Yet in speaking of these let the muse not 
 
 forget 
 The splendid engravings — the laboured 
 
 vignette. 
 In which to be plain is concenter'd tht; 
 
 spirit, 
 'Tis the Artist not Poet who claims any 
 
 merit. 
 You leave volumes containing odes leaden 
 
 and lazy, 
 With sonnets and ballads on damsels run 
 
 crazy ; 
 And to tickle the fancy of each modern belle. 
 Such themes as for decency's sake I'll not 
 
 tell. 
 No wonder your girls rank as women entire, 
 When a flame thus seductive enkindles 
 
 desire; 
 But of rhymes now enough which all reason 
 
 defy, 
 And give real genius the positive lie. 
 Where sound void of sense ev'ry huge quar- 
 to fills 
 An Anulgama hostile as Brodum's quack 
 
 jtills, 
 Which in lieu of dispelling the evil ne'er 
 
 fail, 
 Disease on the patient at once to entail. 
 But a truce to these warblers— a truce to 
 
 their stuff, 
 On the topic of nonsense I've said quantttnt 
 
 s»f. 
 And, as >:r, Im very sure you mnst feel 
 That my motives are pure, and unsullied 
 
 my zpal, 
 I next month from the realms of Elysinm 
 
 will stray. 
 To lash the degenerate prose of your day ; 
 From whence 1 shall duly proceed to ex- 
 plain 
 The gew-gaw of fashion which now gnides 
 
 the rein ; 
 Your manners coutemn, and your pleasures 
 
 deride, 
 For to rank lirst in f»lly, is each Briton's 
 
 pride. 
 Farewell then, expect rae again at my post, 
 Vnd mark well the words of Lord Chesier- 
 
 tielil's ghost.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Eniscmas, Epigrams, Poetnj, S,c. 139 
 
 Relation of an asfoiumins:; Appari- 
 tion, from the Voyas^es and Cruises 
 oj Commodore II alker. 
 
 WHEN Mr Walker was sefting 
 out on his second rruise in the Bos- 
 cawen private bhip of war, in 1745, 
 a report made by tlie Frcncii oflicers, I 
 when tlic ship was taken, that a gun- j 
 ner's «ife had been murdered on! 
 board, began now to be looked upon [ 
 by the men, as ominous of the njisfoi- 
 tunes which would attend the cruise ' 
 One of the seamen, rrmarkabie for | 
 his sobriety and good character, on« | 
 night alanne<l the ship, by declaring I 
 be had seen a strange appearance of a | 
 womnn, who informed him, among | 
 other pmticular.-, that the ship would i 
 be lost, riie story spread among the 
 crew, and laid suclt hold of the inia j 
 ginalion, as would have been attende<l 
 Avith the most serious consc(juenccs, 
 Irad not Mr. Walker contrived a de- 
 %'icc for turning it into ridicule, and 
 with great presence of mind related 
 the following anecdote to the assem- 
 bled ship's crew : 
 
 In June, IJoi, Mr. Walker lying 
 at an anchor at Cadiz, in his ship, the 
 Elizabetjj, a gentleman of Ireland, i 
 whose name was P.urnet, was then on \ 
 board, going to take his passage over ' 
 to Ireland. This gentleman was a par- 
 ticular acquaiitance of !Mr. Walker's, 
 and he was extremely fond of hiu), 
 being a man of great good sense, and 
 very lively in conversation. The night 
 before the atl'air we speak of happen- 
 ed, the subject turned upon appari- 
 tions of deceased frietids, in which this 
 gentleman seeuied much to believe, 
 and told many strange stories as au- 
 thoritifs for them, besides giving some 
 metaphysical argujuents, chiefly that 
 the natural fear we had (>f them proved 
 the soul's confession of them. But 
 jNIr, Walker, w!io was entirely of an- 
 other way of ti'.inkin.T, treated all his 
 arijuments with ridicule, Mr. Bur- 
 net, wh) was bred a physician, was 
 
 curious to try bow far fancy might 
 i)e wrought on in an unbeliever, and 
 resolved to ])rove the [ >wer of this 
 natural fear over the rf'nses: a strange 
 way, you will say, io convince the 
 mind by attacking the imagination: 
 or, if it was curiosity to see the ope- 
 rations of fear work on fancv, it was 
 too nice an experiment to anatomize 
 a trieu'l's mind for information only. 
 But perhaps the humour of the thought 
 was the greatest motive: fctr he was a 
 man of a gay temper, and frolicsolne. 
 .About noon, as they were standing, 
 with more of the ship's company, upon 
 ierk, near t!ie forecastle, looking at 
 some of the governor's guard boats 
 making fast to a buoy of a ship in the 
 bay, in order to watch <he money, 
 that it might not be carried out of the 
 country, Mr. Burnet proposed, as a 
 plan for a wager, he being a remark- 
 able good swimmer, to leap off the 
 gunnel of the siiip, and dive all the 
 way quite under water, from the ship 
 to the boats at thai distance, and so 
 rise up upon them, to startle the people 
 at watch in them. A wager being 
 laid, he undressed, jumped off, and 
 dived entirely out of sight. Every 
 body crowded forwards, keeping their 
 eyes at the distance where he was ex- 
 pected to come up; but he never rising 
 to their expectation, and the time run- 
 ning past their hopes of ever seeing 
 him more, it was justly concluded he 
 was drowned, and every body was in 
 the greatest pain and concern; espe- 
 cially those, who by laying the wager, 
 thought themselves in some measure 
 accessary to his death. But he, by 
 skil.f^nl diving, having turned the other 
 way behind the ship: and being also 
 very active, got up by the quarter 
 ladder in at the cabin window, whilst 
 every body was busy and in cnnfu'^ion, 
 at the forward part of the ship; then 
 concealing himself the remaining part 
 of the day in a closet in the state room, 
 wrapped himself up in a linen night- 
 gown of Mr. Walker's. Evening 
 T 2
 
 140 lAterary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 couiing *>»', <i>*^ uliolt ship's compiny 
 beiujr vtr> nielanclioly at the liccid' ul, 
 Mr. Walker retired with a iV'end or 
 two to his cabin, where, in their cou- 
 versation, they often laiiienlef) the sad 
 acfidej'.t and loss of their fiiend and 
 dear companion, speaking of every 
 'Merit he had when living, which is 
 th.e unenvied praise generally <,ivcn 
 to our friends, when tht'\ Ci.n n ceivr 
 nothin:' else from us. The supposev' 
 dead m<ui remained still quiet, anJ 
 heard more good tilings said to his 
 memory, than perhaps he would else 
 have ever in his life tnne heard spoken 
 to his fare. As soon as it was niijlst, 
 Mr, Wadvcr's company left him; und 
 he being low in spirits went to bed 
 where King still pensive on the late 
 loss of hi> companion and friend, 
 and iho moon shimng i»lirect thrnui:.] 
 the windows, he perceived the fold- 
 ing doors of the closet to open ; anci, 
 lookinjir stedfast towards them, saw 
 something which could not fail starl- 
 lini' i»im, as he imiiuiiied it a repre- 
 sentaiion of a hi.man fii,ure : but re- 
 calling his better serses, be was fond 
 to per>iiiade himself, it was only the 
 workings of his disturbed fancy, and 
 turned awav his eyes. However, 
 they soon again returned in search of 
 the object ; and seeing it now plainly 
 advance upon him, in a slow and 
 constant step, he recogiiized the 
 invaije of his departed friend, lie 
 has not been asiiamed to own he felt 
 terrors which shook him to the in- 
 most soul. The mate, who lay in 
 the steerage at the back of the cabin, 
 divided only by a bulk-head, was not 
 yet abed ; and hearing Mr. Walker 
 challenge with a loud and alarmed 
 voice, "What are you 1" ran to him 
 with a candle, and meeting Mr. Bur- 
 net in the Imengown, down drops the 
 niate, vvithout so much as an ejacui.i- 
 lion. Mr. Burnet, now beginning him- 
 self to be afraid, runs for a hotilc of 
 smelling spirits he knew lay in the 
 window, and applied tiiem to the nose 
 and temples of the swooning mate. 
 
 Mr. Walker, seein.;^ the ghost so very 
 alert and good-natured, bcgnn to re- 
 cover from his own api)rehension, 
 svhen Mr. Burnet cried out to him, 
 " Sir, I must ask your pardon ; I fear 
 I have carried the jest too far ; I 
 swam round and came in at the cabin 
 window ; I meant, sir. to prove to 
 you the natural awe the bravest must 
 be under at such appearances, and 
 have, 1 hope, convinced you in your- 
 self " " Sir," says Mr. Walker, glad 
 of being awakened from a terrible 
 dream, and belief of his friend's 
 • eatli, " you have given me a living 
 instance ; there needs no bt-tter proof; 
 f)ut pray take care you do not bring 
 death amoiiijt us in earnest " He 
 then lent his aid in the recovery of the 
 poor mate, who, as he retrieved his 
 Senses, still relapsed at the ••ight of 
 Mr Burnet : so that Mr. Walker was 
 obiigeij U) make him entirely disap- 
 pear, and go I all others to his assist- 
 ance ; whiih took u)) some consider- 
 able time in doing, every body, as Mr. 
 Burnet advanced to ihem, being more 
 or less surprised ; but they were called 
 to by him, and told the mau'ier of 
 the cheat, and then they were by 
 deiirees convinced of his reality ; 
 thouah everv one was before tho- 
 roughly satisfied of his death. I be- 
 ing persuaded that this story cairies a 
 lesson in it, which speaks itself, shall 
 conclude it by mentioning this cir- 
 cumstance, that the poor mate never 
 rightly recovered the use of his senses 
 from that hour. Nature had received 
 too great a shock, by which reason 
 was flung from her seat, and could 
 never regain it afterwards ; a constant 
 stupidity hung around hinj, an<l he 
 could never be brought to look di- 
 rect at Mr. Burnet afterwaids, though 
 he was as brave a man as ever went, 
 in all his senses, to face death by 
 
 day-light. 
 
 In GrantJuim Churck-^'ard. 
 
 JOHN Palfryman wliicti lyelJi here, 
 
 Was agad Iwenly-four year ; 
 And ill Itus place h\f> mother lies ; 
 Also bis futber, when be dies.
 
 Intereaiimr Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, ^c. 141 
 
 Account of the AJmi-iage ot Two 
 
 Dziarfs. 
 
 THE princess Nntali;!, oit!v si>rei 
 to the Czar, bv Ihe sani!; jiiorl)'^. 
 or«iered prepar;ilioiis t-i be mv]>' f' r 
 a grand wtddius of t\»o of bci 
 dwarfs, who were lo b^ ii. irncH ; oi. 
 whicii occasion several iina^l coac!)-'- 
 were made, nnd iitlle >heUa:.d horse* 
 provided ;o diaw them: and nil the 
 dwarfs in the kingdom were summon- 
 ed to celebrate t!.e nupliids, to t!i( 
 number of ninety -three. They went. 
 in a grand ppeessioi. throupii ull the 
 streets of Moscw, precedml by a 
 large opon \vai;2:on, drawn by si.i 
 liorses, with kettle drums, Iriimpet.v 
 French horns, and ^au?bo^s; »heii 
 followed the marslrd and his ;:l 'end- 
 ants, two and two, on liorstbark ; 
 then ihc brideiiroom and bride, in u 
 coach and six, attended by their 
 bride-man and maid, who s;it in the 
 coach befo-e them. They were fol- 
 lowed by fifteen small coaches, each 
 drawn by six Shetland Iiorses, and 
 each containing four dwarfs. 
 
 It was soinewdat ^urj)rising to see 
 such a number of little creatures in 
 one company togethf r ; especially as 
 they were furnished with an equipage 
 suitable to their stature. Two troo) ^ 
 of drai,'roons attended the procession 
 lo keep off the mob, and many per- 
 sons of fashion were invited t" the 
 , wedding, who attended in their 
 coaches to the church, where the small 
 Couple were married ; from thenc 
 Ihe procession returned in order to the 
 princess' palace, where » grand en- 
 tertainment was |)repared for the cou'- 
 pany. Two icig tables were covered 
 on each side of a long hall, where the 
 company of dwarfs dined together, 
 the prin'^ess with her two nieies, 
 princess Ann, and Elizabeth, tbec;i<ir > 
 datJjihters, were at ihe trouble {iicn> 
 selves to see them all scale*!, and wr;l 
 attended, before they sat down to thcii 
 own table. 
 
 At night the priucessts, attended 
 by the nobility, conducted the new 
 married couple to bed, in great state; 
 aftrr that ceremony the dwarf coui- 
 i.'an\ had a hrg-' room allotted them, 
 t'- mvke meiry amoi-i; themselves; the 
 en:< rtHinui'-nl c^iicl'ided wilti a ball, 
 vli ch lastfd tid day Iiiilit The coni- 
 p;:ny which attended thv princess on 
 •his occii.sion were so numerous, that 
 (hey tilled several rooms. 
 
 Curious Impertinent. 
 
 AN English gentleman was writing 
 a le'tttirina coti'ee-house, and perctiv-^ 
 in^tiiat a. I Irislnnan stationed behind 
 him was taking thai liberty, which 
 r'arn enio used with bis friend Alex- 
 ander, lU-itead of putting a seal upon 
 tlie lip5 (.f the curious impertinent, 
 Ihc Eiigli>hman thought proper to re- 
 prove the Hiber.ii;^), if not with deli- 
 cacy, at least with j)oeticaI justice. 
 He C(>nclu(ied his letter in these words : 
 — " I would say more, but a d — <i tall 
 Irishman is reading over ray shoulder 
 very word I write." " Y' u he, you 
 'cojuidrel!" said the self-convicttd 
 Hibernian. 
 
 The following was spoken extempore by a 
 clergijman., who icas bltnied jor voeariag 
 a button in his httt. 
 
 •H.J ran believe witli cntnmoa seose, 
 \ hntlun'd hat ti'ives God oiier..je? 
 Or fbat the rose, ia any case, 
 Convey* a larger share of grace; 
 Thv' habit, howsoever quaint, 
 »' an't, of a eiiaer, make a saint, 
 .f pare the heart, « hat's outside put on. 
 It does not gjgaify a button. 
 
 Henry VIIL 
 
 HENRY the Eijihth was desirous 
 'li ene^-ing for his wife, Chriitiana, 
 Uuches dowager of Wilan; but she 
 lent li'in word, thut site haO but one 
 i.sd: tiad she 1vm>, one el llieia 
 should be at his Majesty's scivjce.
 
 149 lAicTary Ctiriosiiies, Epitaphs^ Wonderful E'Cents, 
 
 The Methodid. 
 
 A CERTAIN m. iliodist. born an<^ 
 brerl in LoiiHon, tliou ,h in v» hat sf rott 
 the ciin^nicle says not, but whose 
 jianie, acciirdin;:; to tradition, was 
 John Grant, or, as he was vulgarly 
 called, Johnny Grant, chanced one 
 d.iy to fail in love with a young lad> 
 from Newcastle. As he possessed 
 great wealth, and had besides a vers 
 sanctified reputation, the cerenionx 
 was soon settled between him and tin- 
 younc; sprig of niethodisni. The onl\ 
 condition altachod to it of any im- 
 portance was, that the newly-married 
 courle should pass the iioney -moon in 
 Kow castle, at tlie house of the bride's 
 father; a condition that was readily 
 acceded to, for Johnny wi's always 
 extremely careful of the main chance. 
 Accordingly, the pious couple set out 
 on tlieir journey, and were well re- 
 ceived b> their friends; who, ia the 
 true spirit of hospitality, contrived to 
 intoxicate the bridegroom. Over- 
 powered by the fumes of the wine, 
 Johnny fell mto a profound sleep: in 
 this state, his new friends thought 
 proper to complete the jest, by letting 
 liim down into a coal-pit, and pleased 
 themselves not a little with tlie idea 
 of his astonishment upon waking. 
 
 In a few hours Johnny awoke, and 
 was imnicdiately surrounded with the 
 miners; one of a peculiarly rough 
 appearance stepped forward to the 
 astonished trembling bridegroom, and 
 asked him in a gruff voice, " Who, 
 and what are you? and how did yon 
 come hither?" Johnny, astonished 
 at the infernal crew, concluded imme- 
 diately th;!t he was in hell, and very 
 submissively taking olf his hat replied, 
 " Hov. I came here 1 knovv not, but 
 I suppose I died." 
 
 " Who, and wiiat are you?" repeated 
 the miner. " Wiien on earth," replied 
 the bridegroom, " I was Johnny Grant 
 a righteous man, and a psalm-singcr; 
 \i\\\ now I am in hell, I am aiiy thing 
 \our devilship pleases." 
 
 Sir Joshua Rtynolds and the Picture 
 
 Dealer. 
 
 " \VH AT do yon ask for this sketch?" 
 said Sir Joshua to an old picture dealer 
 wliose portfolio he was looking over. 
 — " Twenty guineas, your honor." 
 "Twenty-pence I suppose yon mean?" 
 " No, Sir ; it is true I would have 
 taken twenty-pence for it this morniny, 
 but if you think it worth looking at, 
 all the wcrld will think it worth buy- 
 ing." Sir J(>shua ordered him to send 
 the sketch home, and gave him hi> 
 money. 
 
 The Ugly Wife. 
 
 TOM weds a rich hag that would frightea 
 a horse, 
 Repentance soon tortures his mind, 
 But vain are the fears that express his 
 remorse, 
 Unless he can cry himself blind. 
 
 Blunder upon Blunder. 
 
 IN a debate on the leather-tax in 
 179.5, in the Irish House of Commons, 
 the Chancellor of the Exchequer, (Sir 
 John Parnell) observed with great 
 emphasis, that in the prosecution of 
 the present war, every man ought to 
 give his last guinea to protect the 
 
 remainder. Mr. Vaudeleure said, 
 
 " However that might be, the tax on 
 leather would be severely felt by the 
 barejoottd peasantry of Ireland."—- 
 To which Sir Uobert Roach replied, 
 that this cuuld easily be remedied — 
 by making the under-leather of wood. 
 
 ON PARKER, 
 
 Aychbi^hop. of Ca'nferbury, in the reign of 
 Queen Elizabeth, \-')T5, 
 
 GIVE thine, whilst thine they are, for when 
 
 once dead. 
 They then aru't thine, for you from Ihem 
 
 are fled ; 
 Another owner now supplies thy place. 
 Who says 'tis liis, not thine, as once it wa^. 
 Use time, and do much good, whilst lime is 
 
 I'.iine, 
 tn future ages then thv name will shine.
 
 Ixfleresting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poelri/^ SiC. 14^> 
 
 Ironical Satire. 
 
 THIS is a species of literary com- 
 position, in ivhicliSivift excelled. The 
 followiiiw specimen, \>y a late writer, 
 may be round worlli preserving. 
 
 " Aver'-hiuv * dud last Monday; 
 in amiable man, cut off in the prime 
 of life, formed by nature, talents, ano 
 education, for a statesman. He read 
 with tolerable correctness; lie spoke 
 and wrote, at least, as intelligibly as 
 the defenders of our present uun and 
 measures; like them, wiiat he did not 
 know, he could assert, and what he 
 could not prove, he would swear to. 
 His conversation was copious, livel\, 
 and figurative; but, conscious of the 
 general tendency in mankind to doubt, 
 he frequently appealed to Heaven; 
 on these occasions, his oaths were 
 solemn, his execrations marked by 
 energy and indignant sensibility. 
 
 " His talents for finance were alone 
 sufficient to have raised him into con- 
 sequence ; where persuasion w as in- 
 effectual, he employed force; what 
 could not be done by direct means, 
 he performed by circumvention; like 
 other great financiers, he first excited 
 terror, and by this method, generally 
 raised supplies with facility- In one 
 respect he differed from these enn'neiit 
 characters; though lie levied large 
 contributions on the rich, the accu- 
 mulating, and the tenacious, he spared 
 the poor and helpless. 
 
 " He had all the ambiguity of a 
 prime minister: in his schenies, he 
 observed the profoundcst secresy. It 
 was difficult to know what he meant 
 from what he said ; from his counte- 
 nance little could be gathered, as in 
 the execuliou of his darling projects. 
 
 * lewis Jeremiah Avershaw, (highway- 
 man and murderer) was a most depraved 
 character, who had long; been (he pest of 
 iociety, aud whose unparalleled audacity 
 did not terminate but with his life. He was 
 executed at Kenniiiglon Common, Au^. 3, 
 JT95, for the murder of D. Price, an oliicer 
 fcelonging to the Union-hall police office. 
 
 lie concealed ii u« neuth a mask, which 
 at once pies rved his modesty and 
 elude<l obs rvation. 
 
 " In his commercial transactions, 
 Ills nioderaliuu wa^ conspicuous. — 
 When inclined t<> part nithany thing, 
 he never received more than a third 
 of its value; often adfling, with aii 
 oath, in order to increase coiifidence, 
 ' That it was more than it cost liim.' 
 
 " In his hours of recreation or re- 
 flection, he was fond of wandering 
 over uncultivated heaths, connuons, 
 and unfrequented woods; from the 
 fertility of his genius, he generally 
 rendered these solitary excursions 
 productive. His ideas of })roperty 
 were not correct; his notions of the 
 meum and iuum were somewhat con- 
 fused. Deeply engaged in the prac- 
 tice of raising cash, he probably had 
 neither inclination or leisure to attend 
 to theory and hypothesis. He pre- 
 ferred the monied interests; and so 
 l)ecnliar was his mode of address to 
 men of that description, that he al- 
 ways gained upon them. 
 
 " Of his religious opinions, little 
 can be collected. He frequently spoke 
 of hell: yet he never anticipated suc- 
 cess by fasting, nor ever, before or 
 after an engageu)ent, composed a 
 form of yrnyer. His extemporane- 
 ous effusions were, however, frequent 
 and fervid, generally heard with fear, 
 and often with impression. 
 
 " Such was Avershaw ; he fell by a 
 death, glorious as his life, a death 
 which hath alone been wanting to 
 complete the characters of many he- 
 roes and statesmen, whose histories 
 would, in that case, have been pe- 
 rused with greater pleasure aud piofit." 
 
 IS THE CLOISTERS OF WiXCHKSTEr. COLLEGE, 
 
 ON .lOHX CLlRK, 
 One of the Fdiows. Who died i:i 1.541. 
 
 BENEATH this stone lie.« shat up iu the 
 
 dark, 
 V ftllow and a priest, yclep'd Jolin Clark ; 
 With earthly rose-water he did delight ye. 
 But now he deals in bcaveniy u'ltia-uilu!.
 
 144 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful EventSy 
 
 Singular Disappointment. 
 
 A N old maiden lady at Dover, hav- 
 ing taken it into her head that she 
 should die in a few da)s, gavr direc 
 tions to the sexton of the parish, t' 
 ■which she belonged, to dig he: out i 
 handsome deep grave; but ineelinf; 
 wiih a young comet, before the mucti- 
 appiehcnded time arrived, she \va- 
 prevailed upon to accompany him to 
 church un a very different occasion. 
 The honest se.xton was hard at work 
 for her as bhe passed by, when she 
 generously clapped half a [iuinea into 
 his hajid, and bid him fill it up again 
 with the utmost expedition. 
 
 \V. ELDERTOX, 
 
 Thercd-nostid Ballad Maker. 
 
 HE was originallj an attorney in the sbe- 
 riir!< ccnrt of London, ami aflerNvardu (if we 
 may helieveOldys, a comediau) was a face- 
 liotis fuddlitiij companion, whose tipplinof 
 aud rhymes rendered him famous amou^ his 
 contemporaries. He was author of many 
 popular sonj;s and ballads, and i)robably 
 other pieces. He is believed to have fallen 
 a viciim to his bottle, before the year l.jiti. 
 i\'ks epitaph has been recorded by Camden, 
 and is thus tran-^lated by Oldys. 
 
 DEADdrtuik, here Rlderton doth lie ; 
 Dead as he is, be still is dry . 
 So of him it may well belaid, 
 Here he, but not his thiritt, is laid. 
 
 Dissenting Clergyman. 
 
 SOMli time ago, at Barnstaple 
 in Devonshire, a dissenting clergyman 
 having got rather more than merry 
 with one of the candidates to repre- 
 sent that town in. parliament, the com- 
 jiany agreed to sully tbilh, and break 
 the windows of all the hou^es that 
 were not illuminiiicd ; when they 
 came to the I\K'eting-llouse, '' Hang 
 nu', Jack, (cried the candidate to the 
 parson) there's a di^sati'ected l;ouse!" 
 *• Faith is it,— (said ll;e priest) and 
 I'll have the tirsl flio;;." Away went 
 the stone, the mob lollowed his exam- 
 ple, and the windgws were all demo- 
 lished in an instu.'U. 
 
 The JMonkey or the story of Madame 
 de Cerdon 
 
 'TIS sairl, ages have their several 
 characters, and nations take their 
 turns, like private men, in wiidom 
 Hiid in fivlly. 
 
 In a remote period, when frivolous 
 France had become \vi^e, and our se- 
 date and sober country thoughtless; 
 the following singnlar incident is said 
 to have happened, and lo have 
 shamed us by the application. 
 
 There lived within the purlieus of 
 (he court, an ancient Gascon lady, 
 Madame de Cenlon; who, remem- 
 bering in her youih there was a 
 celebrated beauty of that name, 
 declared herself the person, and de- 
 termined to keep up the credit of her 
 charms, Madame de Cerdon was 
 now seventy-four; but in France it 
 was then somewhat ns it is in F.nglaiid 
 now, to be a beauty nothing was re- 
 quired from Nature except eyes. 
 These she had, and they were fine 
 ones: in a mask she railed the Mar- 
 quis as a coquette; and it was only 
 needful to have a better covering for 
 the natural face by day-light. She 
 sacrificed regularly eleven hours ot 
 the twelve) to prepare herself; and 
 shone the other sixty minutes, a 
 perfect object, if no one came too 
 near her. 
 
 This lady had a monkey famoui 
 for its miniickries ; and the king was 
 every day entertained with the repre- 
 sentation of some of his favourites by 
 this creature; very, like, though a 
 little better than Nature. He had at 
 length an opportunity to see the 
 buflbon, in a female character. A 
 ]»riiic(-s of the blood, called Madame 
 de Cerdon, summoned from her toilet 
 ^om<•\^ ii.il too early ; and the hurry 
 wiih winch she obeyed these honour- 
 able commands, prevented her putting 
 up the implements of that sacred 
 table. The lady contented herselt to 
 lock tliedoor; and the pleasunt ras- 
 cal picked her pocket of the key, and 
 iiot mtooosscssion of all her treasures.
 
 Inferesllns; Narrativcf;, Ems;mas^ Epis^rams, Poetn/, SfC. 145 
 
 [ 
 
 Wliat no human eye had I'vcr been 
 pcrnmted to see puij had oltcn vipae(i 
 wiih undisturbrd iittcntKin. He hi' 
 seen 'he whole nrogre>i»iion of liii 1 idjv'«i 
 face, from old lo youiii;, ironi liag* 
 gcd to most beautiful : he did not 
 know why he should noi in.ikc himself 
 ab handsome ; he was sure Nature hati 
 <!one as much ti)vvaids u ; and down 
 lie sat to dress him. 
 
 Pus; plaved the politician to i hair, 
 we mean as the politician sometimes 
 has played in Biitain; he tried all 
 ways and means, and fell on all expe- 
 dients ; but he did not always put 
 them in the ri;',hf pla^e. Tiie vvh.,!e 
 magazine was before him, and right 
 or wront; he used it ail. 
 
 He dipped his paw into the pot ol 
 roiiae, and, drawinj; a great quantity 
 of it in a fair arch over each eyi^, he 
 inade himself two vermiliion eye-brows 
 Close beside ttiis ini^iedicnt stood the 
 black M-ilh which the lady converted 
 daily her white hairN to the jetty hu'' 
 of youth; this he deliberately placed 
 in two large blotches, one upon Cin'h 
 check ; and as the French know 'tis 
 impossible thai part of the face should 
 be naturally coloured alone, he 
 rubbed a s.Tiall piece also well upon 
 his chin. The enamel for the white 
 lay next; and this he smeared alon;^ 
 where hair should grow, from either 
 temple back beyond his ears, and up- 
 wards to his crown. He patched his 
 forehead, and he viewed himself. 
 He thought he had done; but there 
 appeared now in the most secret 
 part vi the repository a pot of some- 
 what, red and promising; pug knew 
 that nothing was kept ihrre in vain; 
 and he judged wisely that the closer 
 this was stored, the greater must be 
 certainly its value. Every part of 
 his lace was, finished but the lips; he 
 liiughed at his simplicity that could 
 think a toilet was without lip-salve, 
 and for whatever u-)e the lady kept it 
 pug rubbed the oiiUiuent round lin 
 luuuth. 'rwdsalluin; audit puricd 
 
 his lips io2ether, till from th<' gaping 
 dabby ( haps !ie had a moment before, 
 ii- found the opening drawn into a 
 small tight lonnd, tli t so. rce shewed 
 t'vo of his teeth. Twas painful; but 
 the monkey knew folks siitfn- sonie- 
 thinii to be handsome; he bore it 
 patKMilly; lie curtsey 'd to 'he glass, 
 and turning in that motion towards a 
 1. tile tionr which ipened in a pannel 
 of the wain-cot, he saw the vatalia. 
 lie hugged the bottle to his breast, 
 a-id getting the opening with s.^ne 
 'liffic'.il'y to his mouth, yoa might 
 •lavo socix him stand, liko the squue 
 of (Jbixote, motionless so:ne minutes, 
 and with his eyes turned up to heaven, 
 TiiG bottle is to nnnkuys, as vv:;ll 
 as men, Pandora's box; full of uU 
 kimis of mischief —he f^rcw inspired, 
 he rec'el an I ilanced : and took his 
 usual journoy to the aniichdinber. 
 
 Every one ^ave v.y.nn for the new 
 droll; for even human butfoonry 
 mak'^s its way to courts, and to those 
 second courts, the levees of the 
 ^reat, where hiimin merit seldom 
 jets admittance: the whisper ran; 
 and it soon reached the royal ear, 
 thiit the monkey had introduced a 
 Temale character. 
 
 The king was in exiacy when he 
 t;eheld the mimic beauty, with black 
 checks, red eye-brows and white hair, 
 but he did more than laugb. Poor 
 pug had never once thought of any 
 part below his face, and the contrast 
 between the tawny neck, and ridicu- 
 lous embellishment? < f the head 
 
 ittracted his attention " I aiu 
 
 obliged, said he, to M.daine de 
 Ceidon for a good lessen ot ooncy. 
 I^Ui: in his paint reminds me of my 
 eighliour England, gloriously adorn- 
 ed with evorv tlnng, except where 
 •■ach thing should be: glowing iii 
 Flanders, and enamelled on tlie 
 ;iiiine; her trade contracted; but, 
 •jlIow, the purse strings open to <lis 
 sipalion; blind, and with tb'.s 
 extravagahce ol ornament, pyebald 
 u
 
 146 Lilerarij Cunosil'ies, Epitaphs, Wonderful Etents,, 
 
 and ridiculous. While every thiiif; i« 
 bestowed upon a face which needs no 
 meniiiii<z, and which nything can ini 
 prove; liPr bosom is nci^lected ; and 
 with ^11 this parade abroad, she will 
 not leave enough to cloalh herself at 
 home. 
 
 The Rats and the Cheese. 
 
 IF bees a •jove:nmeiii nuintain, 
 Why niay not rats, of stronj^T hrain, 
 And greater i)ovv'r, as well tie tiiougtit 
 By Madiiavelian axioms tausrlit ? 
 And potlipy are ; for Itiiis of late 
 It happened in the rats' iVee state, 
 Their prinre (his piiliject!* more to please) 
 Kad got a mi.ijhiy f'he.aliire rlieese. 
 In Vfliich his miuis^ters of slate 
 Alight live in plenty and prow great. 
 A pow 'rfiit party strait <\.mbind, 
 And snbt'iy all their forces join'd 
 To hring their measures into play, 
 For noi:e so loyal wire as they; 
 .And none snch i)atriots to .«ni);)ort, 
 As well the eoiintry as the court ; 
 No sooner were these dons admitted. 
 But all those wondrous viifnesqniited. 
 
 Regardless of tlieir prince, and those 
 Tliey artfully led hy (he nose, 
 Th(y all the speediest means devise 
 To raise themselves and families. 
 
 Another party well observing 
 These panipt-rd were, while they were 
 
 starving ; 
 Their minivtry bronglit in disgrace, 
 Kxpi ll'd th( in, and snpply'd their place ; 
 Tlusc OH jnst principles were know u 
 The true .«i:pporlirsof the throne, 
 And for Ihe subject's liberty 
 Thej'd (marry would tliey) freely die. 
 
 lUit being well lixd in their station, 
 r.eparriless of (heir prinee and nation, 
 .Tost iikethe otherw, all their skill 
 ^\as h(»w they misht tiieir paunches fill. 
 
 On this a rat not quite so blind 
 In slate intrignesa?; human kind, 
 Hut of more liimonr, ihus rt;ily "d ; 
 C'oiiftinnd yon all on (ithersije: 
 Your p'.ilififs ;ire but a farce. 
 And your liisp virtues all mine x — , 
 All yonrconteulioiis are bn! these; 
 Vhosearts shall Lest secure the cheese. 
 
 Stonf/icnge. 
 STONEIIF.NGi:, on Salishnry- 
 Plaii), 2 milcN W. of Ambresbuiy. 
 !iii(l 6" N. W. of Sitlisbnry, is reckoned 
 "Mie of the wonders of the Kin«(lon) , 
 I l>»oui:!i authois ill e divided about liie 
 
 occasion of this monument. IIow 
 such vasl stones should cotne thither, 
 since the ai'.jacent country wrnts 
 common stones for bnildinj», is mat- 
 ter of surprise ; and some therrfore 
 think them artificial stones, made up 
 of sand, and cemented by a oliitinous 
 matter: But others think them to ne 
 natural stones. Dr. Gibson offers 
 several arguments to prove, that ii is 
 not a Roman monument, nor a place 
 of christian sepulture; and that it is 
 not a T'Janisli monument, because it 
 is mentioned by Ninnius almost 200 
 }ears before they had anv consider- 
 able footiiii; ill the is'and. lie there- 
 fore thinks it more probable to be a 
 British monument for some victory, 
 bccau-e there are some like it both in 
 Scotland and Wales, where the 
 Romans and Danes never came. 
 Time has much impaired these stones 
 both as to size and form. The num- 
 ber of 1 hem as I hey now reinain, is 72. 
 This surpiisin<i monuijnent stands on 
 a rising ground, encompassed with a 
 "deep trench about 30 feet broad. It 
 has three entrances from tlie plain, 
 the chicfof which is towards llie N. E. 
 and at e.ich of them on the outside 
 of the trench arc raised 2 huf;e stones 
 I gatewise, parallel to which on the 
 j inside are 2 lesser ones. After pass- 
 I ing the ditch, we ascend 35 yards 
 I before we come to the work itself, 
 «hich consists of 4 circles of stones. 
 The outermpst consists of great 
 upright ones, 20 feet higli, 2 yards 
 broad, and 1 thick : These are coupled 
 at top by large transom rtones like 
 architraves, 7 feet long, and 3 and a 
 half thick. Within this lies another 
 row of pyramidal stones above six 
 feet high. In the innermost pari 
 there was a stone not much above the 
 surface of the earth, 4 feet broad and 
 U) feet long. Upon the whole. Dr. 
 Gibson thinks it to have been built 
 by the Britons, after the Romans 
 came in, and to be n rude imitation of 
 ^ome of their structures.
 
 Literestwg Narratives, Kms;7nas, fipigrams, Poetri/, S:c, 147 
 
 Cool-f, the Petit onville. Miser. 
 THIS ct'lebraled miser fiiulint; 
 (liseasp, and the infirmiJies of aj;e 
 creep on him l>y slow «lfgrees, vvas 
 reduced to the necessity of upplyiii;', 
 from time ti> ti le, for medical adtice 
 Bui u'^t deriving sucii iusiantaiieoiis 
 relief fr(!4n tli-.- prescripJions of tlio.-v 
 physicians, whom he cojisiiltod, as he 
 expected to receive, lie ri;n tiie i;aiiiit- 
 i let from one di-ct'ir to another, nnfi! 
 
 he tird ihcm all. Maiiy are the 
 anecdotes wl.ich miiiht be related 
 the tricks which this avaricious olil 
 man used t'> play, to cheat nii dical 
 men of thrir time, and save his money, 
 lie wouhi nr.ike no scruple to be" 
 from some of his acquaintance, uhum 
 he ktjew to be subscribers a letter fir 
 a dispensary, and ciolhin<; himself 
 in li!* own old rairged and cast ott" ap- 
 parel, wouM alttnd regularly, as a 
 pauper, amwnirst others, to receivi 
 advice and nj'dicines ;;ratuitous!y ; 
 and this for several successive weeks. 
 At lenjilh, however, his real circum- 
 stances being made known to tiu 
 medical gentlemen, by son.e of the 
 patients, or by otlier moans, he ha* 
 been dismissed, in a way not much to 
 Jiis credit; and this has liaj)pened to 
 bin) more than oi;ce. 
 
 He once oblained a recommend- 
 ation, as a patient, to tiie disiicnsary 
 for the diseases of the eye aivl oar, m 
 Charier-house square. The lutural 
 jfoodness and suavity of Mr. Saunders's 
 disposilion, induced him to pay every 
 attention to Mr. C()oke, who passed 
 himself upon him as a reducefl liades- 
 man who had seen better days; but 
 findii^ that this old nsan would not 
 be satisfied, without en^rossin<; a gre;.( 
 deal more ut his lime titan he could 
 well spare, he was at last induced to 
 make some inquiry concerninj^ iiis pa- 
 tient ; and al length learning who he 
 was, he read him a very seri(»us lec- 
 luie on the m'-anness and impropriety 
 of his conduct, in thus obtaining gra- 
 
 tuitously tiiat which was only infci.ded 
 for the necessitous ; and acquaiided 
 him, that if he expected his future 
 services, he must give a fee, as was 
 usual with other gcntleaien. " ^'e^y 
 well," said old Cooke, "*• I am willing 
 to pay any thuig in reason; hut mark 
 I Iiis, I expect to be cured (ir.st, for I 
 jlways go upon the maxim of " Ao 
 cnre no pay." Mr. Saui.dcrs rang 
 the bell, di'sired the servant to call in 
 the ne.\t p;ilienf in rotation, and po- 
 'iiely wishir.g Mr. Cooke a good 
 nwndm;, de.si.ed the servant to "open 
 ihe street door for the gentleman.'* 
 
 Another linie Mr. C. became so 
 excessively troublesome to a physician 
 to whom he had paid about four or 
 five half guineas, that tho doctor at 
 last told hini, he hod tried every 
 renfedy and exerted all his skill, and 
 <'ould render him no further service; 
 ' then cive me back my gold, sir," 
 ..liftCouke; " w.hy did you rob me 
 ol'my 2olfi unles-syou meant to cure?" 
 The (locior, wiiose chariot was waiting; 
 at the dK5r for him, left the old man 
 to vent his spleen in the study, to the 
 •ID sHrtdl diversion of the servants, 
 I and gave orders that he never should 
 
 tn' arlmifted as^a'tn. 
 I Mr. Cooke would without ceremony, 
 ! go to the houses of apothecaries, aiul 
 i have them called up at four or live 
 \ o'clock in the morning, to admini',ter 
 some medicine, for a complaint he 
 was subject to in his bowels; which 
 he wiMild want to have made up for 
 two-pence; if this was refused, he 
 would go as far a* four-pence ; but if 
 it was to be sixpence, he would go to 
 another .shop, and make the same dis- 
 turbance ; if he could get nothing for 
 liis groat, he would go to a druggist's 
 and buy a pemiyworth of jalait; for 
 he said he would sooner bear the puin 
 ;u his g»y^A' all day, than jiay such a 
 zreat deal of mouty as SIX i* EN CE for 
 j/hysic. 
 
 At one time, Mr C rang up the 
 domestics of a medical gentleman ia 
 U 2
 
 ]48 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events, 
 
 Islington, at four o'clock in a winter's 
 morning. On the door bcini^ opened, 
 to the question, uliat is vour pleasure] 
 lie answered, " jdv bus'ii-^ss is pain, 
 and ii)\ pleanure is to set vour master/' 
 "Sir, n)y niasier has been out at a 
 lab(/ur all night, very mu'U fatigueu, 
 and un{ very well, and has not been 
 in l>ed v.bove iialf an hour." " Don't 
 teU HK about his laboui.?, and about 
 his being un«el»; c^ottors must get uj> 
 at all hours, well or iil. Tell him he 
 iHust come down. 1 do not come as 
 'A p:u,jer; 1 caii way for what I have " 
 Away went the servant to tell his mas- 
 ter ; who sent his compliments to the 
 gentlenuui, that he was really very 
 poorly, but that I'is assistant, a regu- 
 larly bred and skilful young gentleman 
 was then putting on his clothes to wait 
 on him, and would, lie was sure, 
 supply his place, to the satisfaction of 
 the patient. '* Then he may put off 
 his clothes again, and go to his bed ; 
 I will have no assi5t;!at; I will see 
 none but the master; I have plenty 
 of money in my pocket, and am will- 
 ling to pay for what I have." Down 
 stairs tlie master came; but when he 
 saw it was Cooke, whom he happened 
 to know, although his servant did not, 
 he wished himself in bed again. 
 Cooke, in his usual way, kept him 
 three quarters of an hour, giving a 
 detail of symptoms and complaints, 
 which could just as well have been 
 given in tiiiee minutes. "Sir," an- 
 swered the doctor, " from the veiy 
 circumstancial account you have given 
 of the symptoms, I understand what 
 your disease is perfectly well, and I 
 will make you up a small draught that 
 shall relieve you in an instant." 
 
 Cooke. What will you charge me 
 for it? ^ 
 
 Doctor. Only eighteen-pence. 
 
 Cooke. Eighieen-pcnce ! why Sir, 
 do you think I get my money on the 
 highway by robbing people? I never 
 heard of such extortion iu my life! 
 Krghteen pence! I thought you might 
 
 have made me up somethiDg fur two- 
 pence ! 
 
 Doctor. Sir, I am sorry to say, 
 there are too many, who tliink that 
 because it is the duty of a medical 
 man to rise to all calls at unseasonable 
 iujurs, they may wantonly, and wilh- 
 (yut absolute ntces;ity, or considera- 
 tion of his fatigues in the day-time, 
 call him out of liis bed whenever they 
 please; but this is tiie first time 1 ever 
 heard of a gentlemiin being called up 
 on a two-pennij errand. As you must 
 certainly meau to insult me, there is 
 the door. Sir. 
 
 Cooke. Well, Sir, will you make 
 nie somethinu for four-pence'] 
 
 Doctor. No, wot for four shillins;s; 
 therefore go your ways, and be thank- 
 ful that your years protect you from 
 a kicking ; and never come near my 
 house agaip, cidier by day or by night. 
 
 Soon after, Mr. C. went to live in 
 White-Lion-Street: he sent for a Mr. 
 Pigeon, a surgeon, who lived on the 
 opposite side of the street, to examine 
 an ulcer on his leg, which gave him a 
 little temporary alarm, he being of a 
 very gross habit of body. After the 
 centlcinan had duly inspected it, Mr. 
 (]ooke asked him if he could cure it. 
 *' Certainly, Sir," replied the surgeon. 
 "How long do you think it will be 
 before you can make a perfect cure of 
 it 1" " A month." " And how much 
 must I give you ?" Mr. Prgeon, who 
 saw that the sore was not of any great 
 importance, answered, " a guinea." 
 " Very well," replied Cooke, " but 
 mark this, — a guinea is an immeme 
 sum of money, and when I agree for 
 sums of such mainiitude, I go upon 
 the system of no cure no pay; 
 so if I am not cured at the expiration 
 of the month, I pay you nothing." 
 This was agreed to. After diligent 
 attendance for several days, the wound 
 was so near being healed, that Cooke 
 expressed himself satisfied, and would 
 not let Pigeon see it any more. How- 
 ever, witliin two or three days of the
 
 I/7fpresf.'i}ia' Narrnthes, Enigmas^ Epigrams, Foeir?/, Si-c. 149 
 
 in')i:;i) !i(iii_ pxpii?^' , the .id fellow 
 got sjtne scrt of plaster with eup'io,- 
 ijium ia it. from ti frrier, ?ici made 
 a new ulcer on tlie plar-^ whore the 
 former had b tii; «nd studini^ fi.i 
 Pigei>!) on the last day of the mcUh, 
 shewed hini that his 1p^ was not well, 
 an\; thit of course She guinea he li.id 
 a;2rted for was for/eite4 ! Thi« str-'-y 
 the old fellow used to tell r T hii.iself 
 with LTiat satisfaciion, and called it, 
 "plucking a pigeon." 
 
 This, which, ia other circunisiances, 
 would have appeared a cruel insult, 
 was really no more than an enthusias- 
 tic impulse, ncilher the effect of iu- 
 to^ic^.tion, nor of a spirit of malisnify ; 
 arcordinalv, it w;'.s readily excused by 
 the good «)ld iTi'-in, after a genteel apo- 
 ncy from Mr. Browne in person was 
 made the next morning. 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 WHEN the late Dr. Henry God- 
 dard, a learnfd and able pliNsician, 
 who pr.ictised at York, uas an under 
 graduate at J?t. John's College, in 
 Cambridge, his room ^^as iinmedi.ifely 
 above thar of Mr. Baktr, tlui fiimous 
 antifjuary, who lnii;g ancient and in- 
 firm, was easily di turbed and vifitcted 
 by any unusual lui^e in the neigh- 
 bouring apartments. On this account, 
 Goddard, wlio was a very sober, re- 
 gular p'-ison, had his room matted, 
 that he njii?' t not incoirmode the 
 worthy old gentleman. One nignr, 
 having invited some of Ijis frietids. 
 among whom wa? Mr. Browne, to 
 spend the evening with him, tlie chear- 
 fulness of tlieir convers-^lion, notwith 
 standing Mr. Goddard'^- frequent re- 
 monstrances, put them ort' ti.eir guarW, 
 and in the end brought up Mr Baker, 
 to sue for peace. Upon openins the 
 door, appeared a tall meagre figure. 
 in a black gown, a niglit cap, over 
 which vvas a broad br-ninied hat, on 
 liis head, and a twinkling taper in bis 
 hand. Without giving the apparition 
 time to s])eak, Browne started up, 
 and repeated from Shakspeare, 
 
 Angels and ministers of grace defend ns ! 
 Be ttion aspirit of tiealtb, or ffohlin damn'd, 
 Bring with tliee airs from heaven, or blasts 
 
 from hell — 
 Be thy intents wicked or charitable, 
 Thou coru'st in surb a questionabJe sliape 
 That I will speak to tbee^ 
 
 Epitaph- 
 HERE lies a head tiiat often ach'd, 
 Heie lie two hands that always shak'd ; 
 Here lie-; a brain of odd conceit. 
 Hr re lies a heart that often 1 ^-at ; 
 Here lie two eyes tint daily wepl, 
 And in ths ni^ht hut seldom slept ; 
 Here lies a tou<jue that whining talk'd, 
 Here lie two feet that feebly walk'd ; 
 Mere lie the midriiF and th? breast, 
 V'i'h loads of inriigesiioK prest ; 
 HereIi"stiio liver full of bile, 
 That ne'er -ecreted projier chyle; 
 Here lie th»!»o%Aels, human tripes, 
 Tortur'd with wind, and twisting gripes; 
 Here lies tlcit livid dab, the spleen. 
 The source of life's sadirajric scene, 
 "lliat left .'•nic weight that clogs tiie blood. 
 And stagnates nature's circling flood ; 
 Here lie the nerves so often tv.itth'd 
 With painfis! cramps, and poienant stitch; 
 Here lies the back oft rackd with pains. 
 Corroding kidneys, loins and reins; 
 '^'erelies the skin per scurvy fed, 
 With pimples and emptfons red. 
 
 Here lies the man from top to toe. 
 That fabr;r fani'd for pain and woe : 
 He cruglit a cold ; but colder c^eath 
 Compress d his lungs, and sfopt his breath; 
 Ihe organs coi.ld nolongergo, 
 Becansf? the SeilOiVS ceas'd to blow. 
 
 Tlins 1 dissect tbi? honest friend, 
 Who neap fill death was at wit's end ; 
 For want if spirits here he fell, 
 ^Yit<^ higher spirits kt him dwell, 
 Tn future state of peace and lore, 
 With jast men's perfect spirits move. 
 
 Remarkable Inst<i?ice of Longcriiy. 
 
 Di£Dat Fo.tio!:inginCaeri7iarthen- 
 s.hire, Wales, at) hontst Weith farmer, 
 who was 105 years of age; by his 
 first wife lit had 30 children, 10 by 
 his second, 4 by his third, and 7 by 
 iiis two c<;iJcuo!i;es; his youngest son 
 was SI years younger ihati his eldest, 
 ■<ind 800 persons descended from his 
 body.
 
 1.50 LHernrr/ Cimnsities, Epitaphs, Wonderful EventSt 
 
 A^dreos to the Whip Club. 
 
 Gentliimcn, 
 
 YOU are fonH of nol oriel v : 
 ajul theitfof xou --li'ti'M <.'r-«teriilA 
 acUnowltd e tliis piilj.ic oxIiibiiKin <• 
 your iiierils. Whether peers or com- 
 iiKiiuTs wh-'iiei heirs to larjic ^state^ 
 or nvJMa -at li.e ixjieiise of dii|'< ' 
 tra.h-'-im'n, \^ hither fools or villain.' 
 or bom united, sufier nie to ciiUsr;'. 
 tulatf v<'Vi on your contempt of il.f 
 ordinary maxims cf ijuman conduct, 
 an-! on your jckn^iu'* rlgul dexterity 
 in drivini; four ,in hand. 
 
 I will n(»t recal to your memory thi 
 Grtiian youth and tlie piiilosophic 
 Pi;ito, except to apprecale youi 
 woilh. The f<»rmer used to aspire 
 to thf honours you aie so ambitious 
 to «lestrv(, iiiKl peihap> lie niijL'lit ha^♦• 
 equalUd you}- hut tlie jjlterpa'd liiii: 
 a comp'iuient wlich you will allow 
 can apply tu your fratvriiily, ho\vev< . 
 partial they may be {o your talents. 
 
 No one can ;vuppose, that any appli- 
 cation to nobler pursuits, liowevci 
 assiduous, would qualify you "to 
 govern men and guide the state." You 
 are salistied with tiie praises due to a 
 coachman, and in this instance, I 
 C'Mnmend your modesty. Itrr.st that 
 in a short lime, a regular college for 
 the WHIP will he established, that 
 professors who iiave dislir.<;uisiied 
 themselves, will be appointed with a 
 liberal salary to read lectures to young 
 er students, and that academic ho- 
 nours will be confered on those wiio 
 have driven iheir way up to this high 
 privilege. I would farther propose, 
 that the MAIL coachmen should be 
 chosen from \our illustrious body; 
 and that none but dunces should in 
 future be devoted to conjmon stages 
 
 Y(.u may probably smile at this pro- 
 position; but believe me, I am in ear- 
 nest. I have so much compassion for 
 your follies, that I rejoice to think 
 you may yet be useful to the comnui- 
 aily and to yourselves, after you iiave 
 
 exhausted the means of acting t\ralu- 
 itoasli/. Horses and carriugos are 
 expensive things; and Juiaiy of ycu 
 are ill able i<> suppoit ihem. I know 
 <ou are: and that it is only to fly frojn 
 ."are or from your cre^i'^or ,. tl.al jou 
 mount the barouch ■, cind l;i)g*>r the 
 reins. Tlie gambler who ventuit/s his 
 .dl upon a cast of the die, is not r>ioie 
 lesperate th .n you. In yt.ur (L.ring 
 .ocali</n, you venture neck as well as 
 jroperty, and deserve no mean fame 
 i' r Aour resolution. But you are not 
 : isensible of this. The sume snper- 
 ^ium qv(esitam nieiiiis operates on 
 \ our getierous nnndsin its full force. — ■ 
 i do nol know that medals havf yet 
 bfjen struck inhonour of your acliieve- 
 ments, which I shall endeavour to 
 end)lazon in history ; but I have seen 
 sKALS emhicniatic of your sublime 
 .ursuits; and ihe Birmingham 
 r.vT ION-MAKER is called in to give 
 1 discriminating badge to yom elevated 
 body. 
 
 Per'-evere, most hcnoiirahle sirs, in 
 Nour nirvitorioKs designs; and accept 
 this humble tribute of my attention, 
 as an earnest of more individual and 
 appropriate |)ancgyric, from your 
 most enthusiastic admirer, Cato. 
 
 On a Gravestone in the Rvini of an old 
 Church, near Bou^hton-Grcen. 
 
 TIME was I stood where tlion dost now, 
 And view'd die de.id as thou dost uie ; 
 Ere long thoiil't lie as low as I, 
 Aud others stand and looli on Ihce. 
 
 Mortal Crdculation. 
 
 THE aggregate population, on the 
 surface oi the known habitable globe, 
 is estimated at 893,300,000 souls. If 
 we reckon, with the ancients, ihat a 
 generation lasts 00 years, then in that 
 space t!y5,oOO,000 human beings wiJI 
 be born and die; consequently S I,7b0 
 must be dropjiing into eten»it\ every 
 day: 3,407 every hour, or about .ii' 
 every miimtc.
 
 Tufereslhis: \^ayratlvrs, Enip^mas^ Epif^rama^ Poetry^ Scr. 151 
 
 Seven Stages of IVumnn. 
 
 THE world's a stage — and man hat seveu 
 
 asfes ; 
 So Shiikxpe.ire writes — kius; of drainatit 
 
 saare-* : 
 Rut he fortr;)t to IpII yo'i in liis pl;in, 
 That woman play» her [lart as well -jls man. 
 
 First, how her infaul heart with Iriumpii 
 
 swells, 
 When the red coral shakes its silver bells ! 
 She, like youn!jstatesiiien,a>i the rattle rinsjs. 
 Leaps at the sound, and struts in leitdiii^ 
 
 strings. 
 
 Next, little Miss, in pin-a-fore so trim, 
 With nurse so noi^y — with ni.irtima ."^^opr/ ii, 
 Eag^er to tell you all she's laui^ht to «it(ir, 
 Lisps as she g^rasps her allotted bread and 
 
 butter; 
 Type of her sex — who, though no longer 
 
 young, 
 Hold every thing with ease, except the 
 
 tongue. 
 
 A school girl then, she curls her hair in 
 
 pa|>er«, 
 And mimics father's gout and mother's va- ; 
 
 p)ur<; I 
 
 Tramples adiiie on custom and on toes; { 
 
 And whispers all she hears to all she knows: ' 
 " Betty!" she cries, "it conies into my head, 
 " Old maids grow cross because their cats { 
 
 are dead, I 
 
 *' My governess has been in snch a fuss 
 " About the death of our old tabby puss— 
 " She wears black stockings— Ha ! ha ! — 
 
 what a pother, 
 " Cause one old cat's in mourning for an- 
 other I" 
 The child of Nature — free from pride and 
 
 pomp, 
 And sure to please, though nothing but a 
 
 romp * 
 
 Next riper miss, who nature moredisclosing, 
 Now finds some traits of art are interposing, 
 Aud with blue laughing eyes behind her fan, 
 First acts her part with that great actor, Man. 
 
 Behold her now an ogling vain coquette, 
 Catching male gudgeons in her silver net: 
 All things r^vers'd — the neck cropt close 
 
 aud bare. 
 Scarce feels the incumb'rance ef a single 
 
 hair ; 
 Whilst the thick forehead tresses, frizzled 
 
 full. 
 Rival the tufted locks that grace the bull- 
 Then comes that sober character— a wife, 
 Wilh ail the dear distracting cares of life : 
 A thousand cards a tiiousatid Joys portend, 
 For what may then upon a card depend ! 
 
 Now she'l snatch halt a glauce at opera, 
 — liail 
 
 A meteor irac'd by none, though seen by all; 
 
 'Till spousy finds, while anxious lo im- 
 mure her, 
 
 V patent coiliii only can secure her I 
 
 At last the Dowager, in ancient flounces, 
 UithsnuiTand spectacles— this age denonn- 
 ces— 
 
 Aud thus she moralises— (speaks Tke an old 
 woman.) 
 
 • How ()old ;ind forward each young flirt 
 itppears ! 
 
 ' Courtsh.p in my time lasted seven years — 
 
 ' Now .-. viu liiile mouths siilfice of course, 
 
 ' For courting, marrying, scolding, and 
 divorce ! 
 
 ' What with their truss'd up shapes and pan- 
 taloons, 
 
 ' Dress occupies the whole of honey-moons; 
 
 ' They say we have no souls, but what 
 more odd is, 
 
 ' Nor men, nor women now, have any 
 bodies ? 
 
 ' When 1 was young my heart was always 
 tender, 
 
 ' And would lo every spouse I had surren- 
 der ; 
 
 ' Their wishes to refuse I never durst, 
 
 ' And my fourth died as happy a* my first.' 
 Truce (osuch splenetic aud rasli designs 
 
 \nd let us mingle ca' doni with our lines. 
 
 In all the stages of domestic life, 
 
 As child, as si»ter, parent, friend or wife, 
 
 Woman, the source of every fond employ. 
 
 Softens affliction, and enlivens.joy. 
 
 What is your boast, m .e rutersof the land? 
 
 How cold and rhearlesball you can command 
 
 \'ain your ambition — vain your wealth and 
 power, 
 
 Unless, kind woman shares your raptur'd 
 hour ; 
 
 Unless, midst all the glare of pageant art. 
 
 She adds a smile, and triumphs in your 
 heart. 
 
 The following Lampoon upon our milit/try 
 Gentlemen was some time .since handed 
 about at Bath. 
 
 AS Q— n and Beau X — were discoursing of 
 
 late. 
 The Urand Expedition came into debate : 
 •' I'll tell you says Q — n, why our bravery 
 
 droops, 
 'Tis because we want men to lead on our 
 
 troops. 
 Our chiefs are a parcel of sh — na — e !)oys. 
 Scarce wean'd from the go-cart, and play- 
 ing v.ilh toys; 
 More fit for a nurse than (hn avmy by (5 — d 
 luslead of a pi\c, 'Zounds! I'd giVe 'em a 
 rod."
 
 152 Literary Curiosities I, Epitaphs, Wonderful Extents^ 
 
 Anecdote of a young French Latoi/tr. 
 
 A FARMER-GENERAL, wlu 
 had acquired iiiiinense riciies, as rnosi 
 of them usually di<l, had a sou, who; 
 he was very desirous to bntig up fu 
 the same business. 
 
 The young tuan, who Iiad, duriii'. 
 his residence at colie'^e, formed (iitfer • 
 cat coiiuexions with other young nie,. 
 of opulent fan)iiies, as soon as he was 
 introduced into the world, launched 
 into a variety of expense and extrava- 
 gance, quite inconsistent wiili the 
 plodding and circumspect ful profes- 
 sion for which his fatiier intended 
 him. Finding him incorrigible, and 
 vet wisliiug to reclaim him, the father 
 was a(ivisL'd to purchase for him tin 
 place of a counsellor in parliament, 
 as the French styled it ; that is to say, 
 a seat on the bench in one of their 
 courts of judicature. In this he did 
 uo more than iiiai:y opulent fathers 
 did every day for their children in 
 France, wliere the purchase of such 
 places was as usual as of any post or 
 employment whafever. 
 
 His son, though wild and dissipated, 
 neither wanted sense nor harning; it 
 was not indeed of that sort which 
 xvouM have qualilied him for the posi 
 Jje held.; but it was liberal, and pre- 
 cisely of that nature which enables 
 young men to shinu in gay and fashion- 
 able coni])anies, An»ong other quali 
 ties, he had a peculiar turn for the 
 laughable and ludicrous; and never 
 missed an oj)portunity of exercising 
 it whenever it ofiered. This, of course, 
 nia<le him very acceptable to those of 
 tlie same cas?, who forjn a large party 
 amongst the young gentlemen in 
 Frar.ce. 
 
 As he addrd to this a humane and 
 compassionate dispu>.ition, he was 
 quickly noted by those who relied 
 more upon that, than upon the good- 
 ness of the causes that bn-ughl them 
 before the tribunal of which he was 
 a member. Reiug handsome, as well 
 as tcndei-heiirled, and extrtniely de- 
 
 voted to tht fair sex, no young gen- 
 ^'eman of the long r(<bc had more 
 frequent visits from the ladies, in the 
 v.aj of his profession. His partiality 
 'o my cHuse that had a fiir pleader 
 to enforce it, was conspicuous to ail 
 iris brethren; and he was emphatcally 
 sfykd the patron and advocate of 
 beauty. 
 
 Among the many female solicitors 
 that alteiided his levees, there came 
 • ..e on 'vliom tlie haiuls of the graces 
 had lavisiied all they could bestow, in 
 siich profusion, that she struck him at 
 once with that a<i miration and wonder 
 which so completely captivate and en- 
 ^lave the hearts of amorous )Oung 
 •lien. I need not say that her re- 
 qursfs were so many commands, 
 nhirh it was impossible for liinj to 
 disobey, and her looks so many darts, 
 which pierced him to the very soul, 
 lie espoused her cause with so much 
 warmth, that in a short time she 
 came triumphantly out of her suit, 
 which was a very important one, uo 
 less than a considerable annuity, set- 
 tled upon her by a man of high rank. 
 She had, it seems, been liis mistress: 
 but his parents, desirous of marrying 
 him to a rich heiress, had prevailed 
 upon him to forsake her; which he 
 did very reluctantly, after making a 
 handsome provision for her. But 
 his parents, who did not approve of 
 this alienation, instituted a law-suit, 
 m order to recover it, and would 
 have succeeded, but for the zeal and 
 activity of our young magistrate. 
 
 So important a service merited, un- 
 doubtedly some returns: he became 
 h\ his turn a solicitor, and was not re- 
 fused. Rut as, previous to the win- 
 ning of her buit, her circumstances 
 were very narrow, and as the fees of 
 lawyers and attornies were a continual 
 drain upon her purse, she was fani to 
 rcpleni-h it by the only means that 
 were left, the sale cf her charms to 
 a secret admirer ; who supplied her 
 with what was necessary to defray 
 the cbarjrcs of tlie law.
 
 Interest hi ;^ Nnrralives, Fjiigmas^ Epip^ams, Poetry , S^c. 15S 
 
 This friend was a very dtbaucbcci 
 uvdu; Ills nclus tnabled Iiim to revel 
 umoiig the woinrn that were venal 
 and his taste led him to seek Ihctn in- 
 discriniinutely every wLtre. 
 
 As jjcopie < f this disnosilion are 
 liiible to an infinity of dani^ers, he 
 did not escape tlieni; hf cor.tracted 
 a violent distemper, and comnunii- 
 cated it to \m fair companion, yhe 
 was irjnorant of her situatiin, ivlicn 
 tiie loving instrument of her mcci^ss 
 had L»ten favoured w it !i hereuihraci?; 
 he conseqnenlly became ;i sharer ih 
 her misfortune. 
 
 On the discovery of what had be- 
 fallen him, instead of expressinj; anv 
 anger or iP-will to the danisel, l;t 
 conceived the design of turning the 
 matter to a jest, and of niaking it .! 
 subject of public pleti'.antry. In or- 
 de; to compass this €\u\ the more ef- 
 fectually, he merrily proposed to her 
 to assist him in the scheme ho had in 
 view, as svithout her co-operation it 
 could not possibly take effect. This 
 scheme was to bring into the same 
 situation with himself two or three 
 more young gentlemen of the la>v cf 
 his own degree, who had equally be- 
 friended her, by strengthening his 
 deoision in her lavour with the ad- 
 dition of their own. As they hail 
 done tins through his intercesMon, and 
 chiefly to oblige him, he jocoselv 
 argued that they had an equal right 
 to the same recompence with himself. 
 But what was his astonishment, when 
 the damsel told him, that though gra- 
 titude would have prevented her from 
 coinciding with a proposal which she 
 doubted not he made in mere jest, 
 yet he needed not bemoan himself 
 for want of companions in adversity ; 
 that the frienls whom he wishetl to 
 participate in the donation she had 
 made him, had already received it, a? 
 unintentionally and innocently on her 
 part, as he had hmiself. Our vounu 
 jud-e was wonderfully elated' witl 
 this news: he^-jeut his compliments to 
 
 his fellow sufferers, assuring them li.at 
 lie f dl -» particular s.Jtisfactiou t.. hear 
 that the rewards due by the lady, for 
 tiieir exertions in her favour, had beca 
 distributed so ii»i;artially. 
 
 T/ie Trumpet. 
 
 THE trumpet i^ said by Vincentio 
 rJalileo, to have been invented at Nu- 
 remberg; and there is extant a me- 
 liKiir rthich shews that trtmipets were 
 made to great piirfection by .m artist 
 :n that city, who was also an admired 
 oerformer on that instrument : it i? as 
 follows: Hans Meuschtdl, <f^'urem- 
 !)erg, lor his accuracy in m.iKing iruiu- 
 peJs, as also for his skill in playing oq 
 (lie same aleue, and ui the accompa- 
 niment wit)) the vrice, was 'if so 
 i;reat renown, tfiat he was frequently 
 '-( nt for to the palaces of print's th.e 
 distance of several hundred miles, 
 I'ope I>eo the Tenlh, for wiioni he 
 had made sundry trumpets of si'ver, 
 sent for him t*^* Rome ; and after hav- 
 i' g beeu delighted wiih I'.is exquisite 
 peiiormance, dismissed liim with a 
 munificent reward. 
 
 On a Watchmaker in Shrewsbury, 
 
 THY niovemeuf', Isaac, kept in play, 
 Thy wheels of life felt no decay. 
 
 For fifty years at least : 
 Till, by some sudden, serret stroke, 
 The bnlance, or the main-spring broke) 
 
 And all thy movements ceas J. 
 
 Garrick. 
 
 A CLERGYMAN once asked Mr. 
 Oarrick, why a church con .'relation 
 was seldom brought to tear>, v. hen 
 the same persons j.iaced in a the.itie, 
 vould be worked u)) to giief by a fic- 
 ;hoa'? distress. "The reaso:.," an- 
 swered Garrick, "is obvious; we re- 
 peat ■diction as ihou;:ij jt were a 
 nuth ; you repeat a truth as though 
 It were a Jiction."
 
 354 Ijiterar J/ Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Etnenls, 
 
 ij.rody on Jlonzo una Imoyine. 
 A PLOrOHMAN so stout, and a damsel so 
 
 CctnTers'ci a.« they sat on the hay ; 
 They ogiec each other with Mmpering stars, 
 Prett., Feg^y the gay was the name of the 
 fail, " 
 
 AiMi the ijloiighman's the bold Roger Gray , 
 
 " And oh !" said the nymph, " since to- 
 morrow you go, 
 " Far heuoe with a serjeant to list; 
 «' Your tears for your Peggy soon ceasing 
 
 to flow, 
 " Yonr love for some wealthier maiden 
 you'll show, 
 *' And she'll by my Roger be kiss'd." 
 
 •' What nonsense you talk!" said tbeyontb 
 in a pet, 
 " For by the Lerd Harry I swear, 
 *' Nor cheeks r*d as cherries, nor eyes black 
 
 as jet, 
 *' Nor moist lips, nor of teeth the most 
 beautiful set, 
 " Shall make me untrue to my fair. 
 
 *' If ever by money or love led aside, 
 " I forget my fair Peggy the gay, 
 
 " With the power of a justice's warrant 
 su (I plied, 
 
 " May a nmstable come as I sit by my bride, 
 " And bear me to prison away!" 
 
 To Glocester then hastened the ploughman 
 so bold; 
 His swee(heart lamented him sore; 
 But scarcely nine months had over him 
 
 roll'd, 
 When a rich butcher's widaw, with bags 
 full of fiold. 
 Bold Roger enticed to her door. 
 
 Her mutton and beef, so red and so white 
 
 Soon made him untrue to his vows; 
 Th£% pamper'd his palate, they dazzled his 
 
 •4ght, 
 They caiigi=t Lis affections, so vain and so 
 light. 
 And she carried him home as her spouse. 
 
 From church the fond couple adjourn to the 
 C'fovi'u ; 
 The co;n()a[iy drink, laugh and sing; 
 The bacon and greens (hey go merrily down, 
 And the mugs were all frothing with liquor 
 so 'jiown, 
 When the bell of the alehouse went • ting.' 
 
 Now first FiogerGray with amazement be- 
 held 
 A stranger stalk into the room ; 
 lie spokt not, he uiov'd not, he Ipok'd not 
 
 .?''i-te ; 
 He oeiU>er regarded the landlord nor bride, 
 But eAiae«tiy gazed on the groom. 
 
 Full stout wer? his limbs, and full tail was 
 hi* height ; 
 His boots were all dirty to view, 
 Which ma le all the damsels draw back in 
 
 a fright, 
 Lest by chance they should sully their pet- 
 ticoats white; 
 And Roger began to look blue. 
 
 His presence all bosoms appear'd to dismay ; 
 
 The men sat in silence and fear, 
 Till, trembling, at length cried poor Roger, 
 
 " I pray 
 " Aside your great coat, my old cock, yoa 
 would lay, 
 " And deign to partake of our cheer." 
 
 The swain now is silent — the stranger com- 
 p'ies; 
 His coat now he slowly unclosed — 
 Good Gods! what a sight struck poor Roger 
 
 Gray's eyes ; 
 What words can express bis dismay and 
 sur|)rise. 
 When a constable's staff was exposed I 
 
 All present then uttered a terrific shout ; 
 
 All hasten with hurry away; 
 For, as no oue could tell whom he came t& 
 
 seek out. 
 Some tried to creep in, and some tried to 
 creep out. 
 When the constable cried " Roger Gray!" 
 
 " Behold me, thou false one! behold me!'' 
 he cried, 
 " Remember fair Peggy the gay, 
 " Whom you left big with child to posses* 
 
 a new bride; 
 " But his worship, to punish thy falsehood 
 and pride, 
 " Has sent me to fetch thee away." 
 
 So saying, he laid hi» strong arm on the 
 clown. 
 
 Calling vainly for help from the throng. 
 He bore him away to the gaol of the town. 
 Nor ever again was he seen at the Crown, 
 
 Or the catchpole that dragg'd him along. 
 
 Not long staid the bride— for, as old womea 
 say, 
 
 The meat in her shop was all spoil'd ; 
 All her mutton and lieef were carried away, 
 And sold to buy caudle for Peggy the gay» 
 
 And biggins and pap for the child. 
 
 Four times in each year, when, in judg* 
 meut profound. 
 The quorum all doze on the bench; 
 Is Rog»r brought up, and is forced to be 
 
 bound 
 V«'ith a friend in the sum of at Ie»st forty- 
 pound 
 To provide for the ckild and the wenck .
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams y Poetr?/, Sfc. 155 
 
 The churchwardens sit ronad, the treai 
 they don't pay. 
 Their cares all with 'bacco beguiled ; 
 They drink out of mugs newly form'd of 
 
 baked clay ; 
 Their liquor is ale ; and this whimsical lay 
 They sins; — " Here's a health to fair Peggy 
 the guy, 
 ^'And the false Roger Gray, and his child." 
 
 Anecdote. 
 AN eminent lawyer married a 
 younj: lady of great beauty and ac- 
 complishments. In every respect but 
 one, the gentleman bihaved uiiex- 
 ceptionably. Though the bride was 
 charmed with her husband's polite- 
 ness and generoiiity, for he was con- 
 tinually loading her with presents, and 
 assuring her of his everlasting attach- 
 ntient to her; yet she could not help 
 latnenting in secret, that he was fond 
 of separate beds At last she laid 
 open her situation to her father and 
 mother. The good folks paid llie 
 liusband a visit. They at first gave 
 distant hints of the cause wl:icli 
 brought them to his house, and at 
 last thev told him, though in general 
 terras, that tlieir daughter was much 
 dissatisfied with his conduct to her. 
 He seemed astonished that Iris wife 
 should be so unreasonable as to com- 
 plain of him, who was not conscious 
 of denying her any thing she wished 
 for. " My dear son-in-law,'' said tl.'e 
 father, *' you are very kind in every 
 thing but one; you don't lie with your 
 wife," "Whose fault is that ]" said 
 the married man, " she never once 
 asked r.ie." " Nay, but son,'' said 
 the old man, " you know that's a thing 
 never demanded." "No! Believe 
 me, sir, that's a poor thing, indeed, 
 which is not worth askiu" for." 
 
 A Wonder. 
 
 A WOMAN once, a?- it is siiDg, 
 Cou'd sprak-o loud without a tongue. 
 
 That y )u cou'q hear her fuii a miie hence 
 A -^re-iler wouder I can tell : 
 1 kiiew a woaian very well, 
 
 Who had a tongue aad yet kept eilence|! 
 
 Evih of Fortune -Telling. 
 
 PRtDIC'JiONS often procure 
 'heir»u\n fulfilment, and thus occa- 
 si«'n the very evils most apprehended: 
 n confirmiition of which, the follow- 
 ing fact is related : — A lady had been 
 •uarned some >ears, had three little 
 girls, and was near her contineim nt a 
 fourth time, when her husband being 
 absent on business, wrote to request 
 she would search his bureau for a pa- 
 pir of some con-eqnence; in d lin; 
 which, she found anotlh'r inch-sed, 
 " Hjinutes c.f my fortune told n'.e in 
 the year 17S9;" which was seven 
 ye.'is prior to her marriage, Curiosity 
 prompted her to open it, when she 
 f;und as follows: — "E D, tells me, 
 that I ant tr. marrv in seven years 
 a Indy with blue eyes, fair complexion, 
 and iiglit hair, with whom I am to 
 live very happily; that I shall have 
 three daughters ; that in giving birth 
 to a boy, the fourth child, my wife 
 siiall die." This paper fell into the 
 lady's l.auds, but a few days before 
 she was confi led, and caused a de- 
 pression which she could tnt thnsw 
 off; but wiien the sex of the chilcj 
 was known, the strange coincidence 
 of the three girls, and a boy being as 
 predicted the fourth child, so etitirely 
 seized her imagination, that in three 
 days she lost her intellect, <i.id m h'ss 
 than three weeks (during the whole 
 of which time she was completely 
 deranged) she expired. 
 
 Epitapl^ on an Innkeeper. 
 A. B. removed from over the way. 
 
 Bon Mot 
 IN a trial on a division of lands, 
 before & certain facetious judge, the 
 counsel on both sides set forth their 
 limitations ; one of tlieai pieadtd, 
 " My loid, we lie on this side ;" and 
 the other said, " My lord, we \ie on 
 that side." — " Nay, ihi-o," said the 
 jn ;ge, " if you lie * k both sides, I'll 
 believe neither oi yuul" 
 X 2
 
 156 TMerory Cnriosilies, Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events, 
 
 The Three Sharpers. 
 
 A PEASANT was conducting a goat 
 to Bagdat; he was mounted on a 
 niulp, and the goat follt.wcd him 
 with a bell hang to his nerk. Thiee 
 sharpers observing this little escort, 
 instantly longed to niuke it liieir own, 
 not so much for the value of the thing, 
 as to shew their address. I will lay an 
 even bet, said the hist, that I will rob 
 that man of his goat, without his 
 thinking to inquire after it. And I, 
 said the second, will lay another 
 wager, that I will steal from him the 
 mule he rides on ; that must be a 
 liard task indeed, said the tliiid ; but 
 what do you think of my enterprise, 
 since 1 engage totakc from liiinail tl e 
 cloaths upan his back, and to make 
 him rejuice at seeing himself thus 
 slriy)pccl to the skin. 
 
 Then manner of executing this 
 pri jcct was truly ridiculous ; yet 
 tricks of as absurd a nature are daily 
 pr£,ctised in London, where the in- 
 habitants pretend to be much wiser 
 than their country friends, whose 
 rustic simplicity is with them asland- 
 ingjest- 
 
 1 he firNt sharper most dexterously 
 loosened the fastening to the bel', 
 slipt It from the goat's neck, tied it to 
 the mule's tail, and made off with the 
 goal, quite undiscovered. The peasant 
 hearing the tinkling of the bell, never 
 doubled but that his goat followed 
 him. However, happening lo look 
 behind him some lime after, he was 
 strangely surprised at missing the 
 little animal, which he was to sell at 
 market. He now made inquiry of 
 every passenger, in hopes of hearing 
 of his stra\ed goat; at last, the 
 second sharper accosted him, and 
 told him he had just seen a man make 
 down the next lane precipitately, 
 dragg'ng along a goal by the hind legs. 
 The peasant, thinking he could run 
 lasler than his old mule could carry 
 him, instantly dismounted, and re- 
 
 quested the sharper to hold his mule, 
 while he set off full speed in pursuit 
 ofthe thief. Afterexhaustino himself 
 in running without getting sight ofthe 
 man or the goat, he returned quite 
 '^penr, and almost breathless to thank 
 the stranger fur taking care of his 
 mule, when, lo add to hi*^ misfortune, 
 behold his mule and its keeper were 
 vanished. 
 
 The two successful rogues had 
 gained a secure retreat, and were 
 triumphing ovei their associate, while 
 he wailed for the countryman at the 
 side of a well, in a pail of the road 
 he knew ne must pass. Here he sent 
 forth the most lamentable cries, and 
 made such bitter waiiings, that the 
 peasant was touched with commise- 
 ration as heappioached him, and re- 
 flecting on his own recent misfoi tunes, 
 found himself dis])Osed to listen to the 
 afflictions of others. As he appeared 
 to be overwhelmed wi;h grief, he 
 thus addressed him; how can you 
 take on so piteously? surely your 
 misfortunes are not so great as mine; 
 I have just lost two animals, the 
 value which is more than one half of 
 my substance; my mule and my goat 
 might in lime have made my fortune. 
 A fine loss truly, said the third sharp- 
 er, to be compared with mine! you 
 have not, like me, let fall into this 
 well, a casket of diamonds delivered 
 into my hands, and entrusted to my 
 care and discretion, to be carried to 
 the Caliph of Bagdat ; no doubt I 
 shall be hung for my negligence, 
 which will be called an excuse for 
 having clandestinely sold them. Why 
 don't you dive to the bottom of the 
 well and fetch up your treasure, said 
 (he peasant? I know it is not deep. 
 Alas! replied the sharper, I am quite 
 aukward at diving, and had rather 
 run the risk of being hanged, than 
 meet inevitable death by drowning; 
 lUtifany one vvho knows the well 
 better than me, would undertake the 
 kind office, upon recovering ikc
 
 Intereslins; Narratives, Fnigvias, Epigrams, Poe.tri/^ SfC. 157 
 
 iervelb, Iwouldgit him ten piect^ 
 ot'gnld. 
 
 The umvavy dupe poured out his 
 pious ejaculations in 'lat'tudo ttf Ma 
 hornet tor haviii:^ throvn in hib wny 
 the means of repai iiig ihe ioss of his 
 iTiult; anii h^sgoat. PiOirise 5Tie, saii^ 
 he, in an extacj, ihe ten peice", an(! 
 I will recover} our caf'\«u; tli? sharper 
 agreed, nnd the counti) man !>tripped 
 hinoseltand jumpe, I wi'h s^tich aiacruy 
 into the weU, that the sharper saw ln„ 
 had no time lo lose, anu imraediat'^i;. 
 look to his heels with ihe c oaths. 
 The poor peasant felt all round tho 
 bottom of the vm'U to no purpose, 
 and then raisii:g himself to the brink 
 to lake breath, and recover streni^th 
 for a second alti^mpi, ho found ,lhat 
 the stranger had decamped with hia 
 apparel. Grown wi&e too late by 
 woeful experience, he rr turned home 
 by nwins a lonely path to conceal his 
 shame; and relating his tale to an 
 affeiiionate wife, the only consolation 
 he received from her was, " that from 
 the king upon the (hrnne, to tht- 
 shepherd of the plains, two thirds o* 
 the human race owed the greatosi 
 part of the vexations of life to impru- 
 dent contidejices." 
 
 Curious Obervations. 
 IN speaknig of the <iifferent man- 
 ners of the French and Spaniards, it 
 has been remarked, that the French- 
 man wears his hair verv loiiu; liic 
 Spaniard, his very snort; the French 
 man eats fast and very heartily, the 
 Spaniard slow and spaiin^ly ; th<^ 
 Frenchmau takes his soup first, the 
 Spaniard eats his roast meat first, and 
 then his soup; the Frenchman pours 
 wine upon his water, the Spaniard puts 
 water to his wmc; the Frenchmai' 
 talks freely at table, the Spaniard 
 does not utter a word ; theFrenchtnan 
 walks after dinner, the Spaniar' 
 either sleeps or sits still; the Frencti- 
 man walks very fast, the Spaiiiai. 
 deliberately; the French valeis tollo^. 
 their masters, the Spanish go bciore 
 
 them ; the Frenchman in mnkin;^ a 
 sign for any one to cune to him, lifts 
 Up his han 1 and draws it towards his 
 face; the Spaniard kis''es his hand, 
 i:V I drclinei it towards his feei ; the 
 Frenchman, as a mark of civility, 
 gives yo'i the upper hand in the 
 street, the Spaniard takes it of jou ; 
 (he Frenchman goes in and out of 
 his house after his company, the 
 Spaniard marches before ihem; the 
 'sonchman, reduced to poverty, sells 
 ill but his -shirt ; the >hirt is the 
 tir-t thing a Spaniard parts with; 
 the first begs alms with submission, 
 the latter with haughtiniss ; the 
 Frenchman, in dressing himself, puts 
 on his oreeches the last of all his 
 cloihes, the Spaniard begins with 
 ■ utling theiu on; the Fienchman 
 always buttons him-elf from top to 
 bottom, the Spamard from bottom 
 to top. 
 
 Additjox. An Englishman is 
 distinguished from all foreigners 
 abroad, by shutting the doois of 
 ruomh and houses after him, at least 
 he always attempts d; wheieas all 
 other Europeans, accustomed to the 
 officiousness of servants, never otfer 
 to take hold of a door. 
 
 The Cock and the Horses. 
 
 A COCK within a stable peat, 
 
 Was stratting o'er some heaps of dung; 
 And aye as round about he went, 
 
 The gallant course' s stamp ( and flung. 
 Bravo ' ciieii he, a decent hoise, 
 
 IVe. make a tolerable pother ; 
 Put let's take care, my merry boys, 
 
 We do not tread on one another. 
 
 On a Tomb-Stone in Eisex. 
 
 HERE lie the man Richard, 
 
 And Alary his wife ; 
 Their surname was Pritchart' ; 
 
 They lived witj.fnit strife; 
 And t!ie reason w as plain ; — 
 
 Tliey aboundi-il in riches; 
 They wo care bad. uor pain, 
 
 And the wife wore the brcecheSt 
 
 Laconic Epitajiu 
 SNua.
 
 15S Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs^ fVonderful Events, 
 
 Church Bells. 
 
 THE invention of bells, such as 
 are bung in the towers or steeples of 
 christiHH churches, is. by PolyHore 
 Yiigil and otlier>, ascribed to Paulinus, 
 bishop of NoIh, a cily of Campania, 
 about the year 400. It is said that 
 the names Nola? and Campana?, the 
 one referring to the city, the other to 
 the country, were for that reasov. 
 eiven to them. In the tinie Clothair, 
 liing of France, and in the year 6lO, 
 the army of the king was frighted 
 from the seige of the city of Sens, by 
 ringing the bells of St. Stephen's 
 church. In the times of popiry, 
 bells were baptised and anointed, 
 Oleo Chrhmath; they were exorcised, 
 and blessed by the bishop, from a 
 belief that when these ceremonies 
 were performed, they had power to 
 drive the devil out of the air, to calni 
 tempests, to extinguish fire, and even 
 to recreate the dead. The ritual of 
 these ceremonies is contained in the 
 Komun Pontifical; and it was usual in 
 their baptism to give each bell (lie 
 name of some saint. In Chauncey's 
 History of Hertfordshire, page 3S3, 
 is the relation of the baptism of a set 
 of bells in Italy with great ceremony, 
 a short time before the writing of that 
 book. By an old chartulary, once in 
 possession of Weever the antiquary, 
 it appears that the bells of the priory 
 of Little Dunniow, in Essex, were, 
 anno 1501, new cast, and baptised by 
 the following names : 
 
 Prima in honore Sancti Michaclis Arch- 
 angel i. 
 
 Secundainhonore S. .Tohannis Evangelisle. 
 
 Tertia in honore S. Johaanis Baptiste. 
 
 Quarta in bouore AsNumptionis heate Marie. 
 
 Quinta in honore Sancta Triuitafis, et 
 omnium Sanctorum. 
 
 lun, Mon. fl33. 
 
 The bells at Osney Abbey, near 
 Oxford, were also very famous: their 
 names were Douce, Cleinenf, Austin, 
 Hautector(p()tius Haiitclori) Gabriel, 
 and John. — Appendix to Hearne's 
 
 Collection of Discourses by Antiqua- 
 ! ies. No i 1 . 
 
 Near Old Windsor is a public-house, 
 vulgarly called the Bells of Bosely, 
 This house wasoriginaliy built for the 
 ri<?conimodation of bargemen, and 
 others n^ivigating the river Thames 
 between London an i Oxford It has 
 a sign of Six Bells, that is the bells of 
 O ney. 
 
 In the funeral monuments of Wee- 
 ver are the following particulars re- 
 luting to bells: 
 
 Funera plango, fulgura frango, sabbat& 
 pango, 
 Excito lentosjdissipo vent08,paco crnentos.' 
 
 I'age \ti, 
 
 "In the little sanctuary at W<st- 
 minster. King Edward HI. erected 
 a clochier, and placed therein three 
 beds for the use of St. Steplien's cha- 
 pel : about the biggest of them were 
 cast in the metal these words : 
 
 ' Iving Edward made me thirlie tbonsaDd 
 
 weight and (hree; 
 Take me down, and wey mec, and more 
 
 you shall find me." 
 
 But these bells being taken down 
 in the reign of King Henry VIII. 
 one wrhes underneath with a coal, 
 
 'Bnl Henry the Eight, 
 
 Will bait me of my weight.'— Page 492. 
 
 This last distich alludes to g fact 
 mentioned by Stow in his Survey of 
 London, ward of Farringdon within, 
 to wit, that near St. Paul's school, 
 stood a clochier, in which were 
 four bells, called Jesus' bells, the 
 greatest in all England, against which 
 Sir Miles Partridge staked a hundred 
 pounds, and won them of King Henry 
 VIIL at a cast of dice. 
 
 It is said that the foundation of the 
 fortunes of the Corsioi family in Italy, 
 was laid by an ancestor of it, who, 
 at the dissolution of ri'ligious houses, 
 purchased the bells of abbeys and 
 other churches, and by the sale of 
 'hem in other countries acquired a 
 very great estate. Nevertheless it
 
 Interesting Narfhtives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, SfC. 159 
 
 appears thiit abroad llitre are bells of 
 a ereat niagiiitude In the steeple of 
 the great church at Roan, in Norman- 
 dy', is a bell with this inscription: 
 
 " Je snis George de Ambois, 
 Qui (rente cioque milie pois ; 
 ftlcM lui qui mepesera, 
 Trente six mille me trouvera." 
 
 *' I am George of Ambois, 
 Thirtie five thousand in pois; 
 But he that shall weigh me, 
 Thirtie six thousand sb.ill find me." 
 
 And it is a common tradition that the 
 bells of Kinij's Collejie chapel, in the 
 university of Cambrids^e, were taken 
 hy Henry V. from some church in 
 France, after the battle of A^incoun. 
 They were taken down some years 
 ago, and sold to Phelps, the bell- 
 founder in Whitecliapel, who melted 
 them down. 
 
 The practice of ringing bells in 
 change, is said to be peculiar to this 
 country, but tlie antiquity of it is not 
 easily to be ascertained; there are in 
 London several societies of ringers, 
 particularly one called the collei:e 
 youths: of this, it is said, Sir Mat- 
 thew Hale, Lord Chief Justice of the 
 Court of King's Bench, was, in his 
 youth, a member: and in the life of 
 this learned and upright judge, writ- 
 ten by bishop Burnet, some facts are 
 mentioned which favour this report. 
 In England the practice of ringing is 
 reduced to a science, and peals have 
 been composed which bear the names 
 of the inventors. Some of the most 
 celebrated peals now known were 
 composed about fifty years ago by one 
 Patrick: this man was a maker of ba- 
 rometers; in his advertisements he 
 styled himself Torricellion operator, 
 from Torricelli, who invented instni- 
 inents of this kind. 
 
 In the year ]684, one Abraham 
 Rudhall, of the city of Gloucester, 
 brought the art of' bell-fouuding to 
 great perfection. His descendants \n 
 succession have conliimed the business 
 ^>f casting bells, and by a list published 
 
 by them, it appears that at lady-day, 
 1774, the family, in peals and odd 
 bells, had cast to the amount of 3594. 
 The peals of St. Dunstan's in theEast, 
 and St. Bride's, London ; St. Martin's 
 in the Fields, Westminster; are in the 
 number. 
 
 Smart Repartee. 
 
 HENRY Lord Viscount Falkland 
 was nmch distinguished by his extra- 
 ordinary parts and heroic spirit. lie 
 was elected very young a member of 
 the House of Commons, his admis- 
 sion into which was opposed by some 
 of the older members, who said, he 
 had net yet soivn his ivild oat a ; upon 
 which his lordship replied, it would 
 be the best icay then, to sow them in 
 the house, xihere there were so many 
 geese to pick them up. This repartee 
 gives us some idea both of his wit and 
 his spirit. He was by the king ap- 
 I'.ointed lord lieutenant of Oxfordshire, 
 and is celebrated by the muse of Mr. 
 Cowley. His lordship wrote one play, 
 called The Marriage Aight, a tra- 
 gedy, printed in the year l()6"4, but 
 it is uncertain whether it was ever 
 acted. 
 
 Query. 
 
 AS I was going to St. Ives, I met 
 7 wives, the 7 wives had 7 bags, 
 the 7 bags had 7 cats, the 7 cats 
 had 7 kits ; kit*, cats, bags, and 
 wives how many were there going ta 
 St. Ives? 
 
 The Answer. 
 
 NONE, the person who was going 
 toSt.lves» met them all coming back. 
 
 STOOD 
 I 
 
 Enigma. 
 
 took to taking 
 you thiov/ mv. 
 
 Explanation. 
 
 I UNDERSTOOD yov^ undertook 
 to overthrow my undertaking.
 
 160 hilerary Curiosilies^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 The fo/loi'-ins; Account of ihe dreadful 
 Exec lit iaa of Francis WiraUlucfor 
 the murder of Uetir}/ IF. King of 
 France, by stabbing him in his 
 Coach wilt not be unplea^iii^ to our 
 curious Readers, 
 
 FRANCIS RAVAILLAC, born 
 at Angouleme, wasin the thirty-sccon ■ 
 year of bis age, when he c'tnaiUteci 
 this horrid murder. He had been » 
 kind of pettifogger or solicitor for 14 
 years before. He was of a supersti- 
 tious and contemplative disposition, 
 much given to vapours and fancico, 
 and often iinagining he saw vi>ions 
 and revelations, which made him a 
 very fit tool for the Romish priests to 
 ■work upon. He declnrcd, his main 
 motive for killing the king was, that 
 he had not, as be was able to do, 
 brought back the followers of the 
 pretended reformation to the Catho- 
 lic, Apostolic, and Roman churcli. 
 Upon his tnal, he ptisisted in acquit- 
 ting every one of having any concern 
 in the murder, and in alliiniing he 
 himself was the sole contriver and 
 perpetrator of it; nor could the most 
 excrucialii^g tortures force the secret 
 of his accomplices from him: it 
 is not to be doubted he was incited to 
 the commission of the fact by the 
 priests, who alone, by their artful 
 insinuations, promises, and wile<, can 
 work a man up to such a pitch of 
 desperation and resolution. 
 
 At three o'clock, on iMay 27, iClO, 
 when be was taken from the prison of 
 the Conciergerie, and put into the 
 tumbril, the crowd was so great, that 
 it was with the utmost difficulty the 
 archers and officers of justice could 
 force themselves a passage; and as 
 soon as the jirisoner appeared, that 
 vast multitude began to cry out, 
 wicked wretch, traitor, d-c. 
 
 'ihe enraged populace continued 
 their cries and exclnniations, till he 
 arrived at the Greve, whera, before 
 lie was taken out of the tumhril to 
 
 nount the scafioid, he was again ex- 
 horted to reveal his aci^'omplices ; put 
 he persi'-ted in his former declaration, 
 that he had none; again imj-lo'ing 
 pardon of the young kin^, the queen, 
 ad the whole kingdom, f-jr the crime 
 iie h^d committed. 
 
 When he had ascended the scaffold, 
 ;hc two doctors comforted him, and 
 exhorted him to acknowledge the 
 truth ; and after perlorming the duties 
 of their function, the clerk approached 
 him, and urged him to think of his 
 salvation now at the close of his life, 
 and to confess all he knew; to which 
 he only answered as he had done 
 bctore. 
 
 'a iie fire being put lo his tight' hand, 
 holding the knife with which he had 
 stabbed the king ; he cried out, OA 
 God! and often repeated Jesu Marie ! 
 While his breast, &c. were teaiing 
 with red-hot pincers, he renewed his 
 cries and prayers- during which being 
 often admonished to acknowledge the 
 truth, he persisted in denying he had 
 any acccniplices. The furious crowd 
 coiiiinued to load him with execra- 
 tions, crying, that he ought not to 
 have amoment's respitia. Afterwards, 
 by intervals, melted lead, and scald- 
 mg oil, were pcured upon his wounds ; 
 during which he shrieked aloud, and 
 continued his cries and exclamations. 
 The doctors again admonished him, 
 as likewise the clerk, to confe-s, and 
 were preparing to offer up publicly 
 the usual prayers for the condemned ; 
 but immediately the people, with 
 great tumult and disorder, cried out 
 against it, saying, that no prayers 
 ought to be made for that wicked 
 
 vretch, that d d monster. So 
 
 that the doctors were obliged to give 
 it over. Then the clerk remonstra- 
 ting to him, that the indignation of 
 'he people was a judgment upon him, 
 which wught to induce him to declare 
 the truth, he persisted to answer' ai 
 formerly, saying, I only was con- 
 cerned ia the murder.
 
 Inleresihux NarrrUhes, Enigmas, Fpigrajns, Poeln/, S\^c. 161 
 
 He was then (iiawii by luur horses, 
 for haifaii hour, hy intervals. 
 
 Bein? a^ain questioned and admo- 
 nished, he persisted in deiiyini; thw 
 he had any accomplices; while the 
 people of all ranks and degrees, both 
 )!ear and at a distance, continued 
 their exclamations, in token of thei. 
 great j;rief for the loss of their king. 
 Several persons set themselves to pu!' 
 the ropes with the utmost eagerness; 
 and one of the noblesse, who was 
 near the criminnl, alighted off his 
 horse, that it mijiht he pui in the 
 place of one which was tired with 
 drawing him. At leiigth, when he 
 had been drawn for a full hour by 
 the horses, without being di^nlem- 
 l.-ered, the people, rushing on in 
 crowds, threw themselves upon him, 
 and with swords, knives, sticks, and 
 other weapons, they struck, tore, and 
 mangled his limbs ; and violently 
 forcino them from the executioner, 
 they dragged Iiim through the street'^ 
 with the utmost eagerness and rag^, 
 and burnt thera in diflercnt parts of 
 the city. 
 
 As this account of the execution 
 is net so full as we could wish, we 
 ihall subjoin the H'ntence of the j 
 pailiament, upou Ravaillac. . 
 
 " The court hath declared, and ' 
 <lolh declare, the said Ravaillac duly i 
 attainted of the crime of higli-lrea- 
 son, in the highest degree, tor the 
 Hiost wicked, most abominable, and 
 luost detestable parricide, committed 
 on the person of the late king, Henry 
 IV. of good and laudable memory ; 
 for reparation whereof, the court 
 hath condemned, and doth condemn 
 him, to make the ahiende honorable, 
 before ihc principal gate of the church 
 of Paris, wither he shall be carrieci 
 and drawn in a tumbril, in bis shirt, 
 bearing a lighted torch of two 
 pound weight, and that he shall therf^ 
 say and declare, that wickedly and 
 traitorously he hath committed the 
 aforesaid most wicked, most aboniina- 
 
 1 b!e, and most detestable parricide, 
 I .ind murdered the said lord the King, 
 by stabbing him twice in the b«dy 
 «ith a knife; that he repents of the 
 oaine, and begs pardon of God, the 
 King, and the laws: From thence he 
 shall be carried to the Greve, and, 
 j m ascalToliI to be there erected, the 
 I fle;h shall l)e torn with red-hot pin- 
 I cers fiom his breasts, his arms, and 
 i thighs, and the calves of his legs ; his 
 right hand, holding the knife where- 
 vvi'h he committed the aforesaid par- 
 ricide, shall be scorched and burned 
 with flaming brimstone ; and on the 
 places wheic the He>h has been torn 
 with pincers, melted lead, boiling oil, 
 scalding pitch, with wax and brim- 
 stone melted together, shall be pour- 
 ed : After this, he shnll be torn in 
 pieces by four horses, his limbs and 
 body burnt to ashes, and dispersed 
 in the air. llis goods and chattels 
 are also declared to be forfeited and 
 confiscated to the king. And it is 
 further ordered, that the house in 
 which he was born shall he pulled 
 down to the ground (the Owner 
 thereof being previously indemnified) 
 and that no other building shall ever 
 liercafter be erected on the foun- 
 dation tlereof: And ;hat within 
 fifteen days after the publication of 
 this present sentence, his father and 
 mother shall, by sound of trumpet, 
 and public proclamation in the city 
 of Angouleme, be banished out of 
 ihe kingdom, and forbid ever to re- 
 turn, under th6 penalty of being 
 hanged and strangled, without any 
 farther foriji or process at law. 
 The court has also forbidden, and 
 doth forbid, his brothers, sisters, 
 uncles, and others, from hencefoiih, 
 to bear the said name of Ravaillac, 
 enjoining them to change it to some 
 other, under the like penalties : and 
 ordering the substitute of the king's 
 attorney general to cau>e this present 
 sentence to be published and carried 
 into execution, under paiu of beiaj 
 
 V
 
 16^ Ijiterary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 answerable for the same; and before 
 the execution thereof, the court doth 
 order, that the said Ravaillac shall 
 again undergo ihe torture, for the 
 discovery of his accomplices." 
 
 The Butterfiij and the Maggot. 
 
 A BUTTERFLY, of plumage gay, 
 Descends^ on a liazel spray; 
 Where dwelt a maggot in his nnt, 
 Contented in his bumble but. 
 
 The coxcomb pertly now pre?s'd in, 
 
 Exclaiming with satiric grin; 
 
 •' Who's here that bid the world farewell? 
 " Hoh ! Master Maggot are je dead ?" 
 The Maggot heard — popp'd out his head, 
 
 Just like a hermit from his cell. 
 
 " What, Friar Maggot ! alive and moping, 
 
 *' Amid the dark for ever groping? 
 
 " Wiiy, what a horrid life is thine ! 
 " I range at will the hill and vale, 
 •' 1 face the sun, enjoy the gale, 
 
 " And on the honied blossoms dine. 
 
 " Amid the fields of air I stray, 
 
 "And, tell me, who dares stop my way, 
 
 " Not of proud man the crawling nation. 
 
 "Why, thou art e'en beneath the mole! 
 
 " Heavens, how I pity thee, poor sonl ! 
 " Thy birth disgraces the creation." 
 
 " What insolence (the grnb replies) ; 
 "Alas! how vain are Ijutterflies. 
 " Know, then, that Heaven my wishes 
 grants, 
 
 " Conlentesl with my humble food; 
 
 " 1 know that providence is good, 
 " And feel his bounty in my wants. 
 
 " Blaspheming creature, learn, O learn I 
 " What thy dull optics cant discern ; 
 " The hand which gave the sun its form, 
 
 " Fram'd ocean, bids the winds arise. 
 
 " Displays its power on earth and skies, 
 " Displays a world within a worm." 
 
 The Maggot ended — now behold ! 
 
 The beau, with plumes of glittering gold, 
 
 V/a*' vv'ithagrin, prepar'd to treat hisn ; 
 When forth a sparrow hopp"d unseen, 
 Spoil'd Monsieur's meditated mien. 
 
 In triumph bore him olf, and ate him. 
 
 Kow few simplicily endears! 
 Ah! who would lose, or sighs and tears, 
 The charms of friendship, love and calm 
 seturity, 
 To graiideur's giddy heights to cUmb? 
 The happy sfjte, and f rue sublime, 
 Live in (uo words— contentment and ob, 
 scurily. 
 
 Account of Mr. Edward Bright ji> 
 remarkablefor his enormous bulk. 
 
 HE was an eminent shopkeeper at 
 Maiden in E>sex, and was 30 years 
 old when he died. He was supposed 
 to be the most corpulent man that ever 
 was known. He weighed 42 stone 
 and a half horseman's weight ; and nol 
 being very tall, his body was of an 
 astonishing bulk, and his legs were as 
 big as a middling man's body. He 
 was an active man till a year or two 
 before his death, when his corpulency 
 so over-powered his strength, that his 
 life began to be a burden to him. He 
 left a widow pregnant with her sixth 
 child. His coffin was three feet six 
 inches over the shoulders, six feet 
 seven inches long, and three feet deep. 
 A way was cut through the wall and 
 staircase, to Jet the corpse down into 
 the shop : It was drawn upon a car- 
 riage to the church, and placed in 
 the vault by the help of a slider and 
 pulleys. 
 
 Tit /or Tat. 
 
 SAY.S Allen to his wife, beforc-we part, 
 I have some serious matter much at heart j. 
 When I was young I was prodigious wild, 
 T fell in Icve, and got a maid with child ; 
 The babe is handsome, though she's rather 
 
 brown ; 
 Do take her home, and rear her as your own ; 
 I wish indeed you'd her example be, 
 I'm sure you'illove her for she's much like 
 
 nie! 
 'Tis well my dear, and you confess in time.;- 
 I'm glad to find by you — that it's no crime , 
 I had a boy before I married yon. 
 Therefore together let us wed the two. 
 
 A Query to a Dull Author. An Epigram. 
 
 IF Tom should publish v»-hat he writes, 
 
 I hope 'tis ilot decreed. 
 That we, who kindly buy his works, 
 
 Shall be obliged to read ! 
 
 Impromptn: addressed to a Gentleman irhose 
 
 pocket had been picked of his IVutch 
 HE that would wear a walch, ev'n this must 
 
 do. 
 Pocket his watch, and watch his j^oeket loo.
 
 Interesting Narratives , Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetri/, Sc. 163 
 
 Hairy L Stephen, and Henri/ If 
 
 HENRY the first was one of the 
 most accorap'ished princes that have 
 iilled the Eiishsii throne ; and pos- 
 sessed all tije qualities both vi 
 body and mind, natural and acquired, 
 which could fit him for the high sta 
 tion lie attained : Jiis j^erson was 
 manly, his countenance engaginir, 
 Iii-i eyes clear, serene, and pene- 
 trating. Also the affability of his 
 address encouraged all those who 
 might be overawed by the sen<e of 
 his dignity or his wisdom ; and though 
 he olten indulged his facetious hu 
 mour, he knew how to temper if with 
 discretion, and kept a distance from all 
 indecent familiarities with his courtiers. 
 
 His superior eloquence and judg- 
 t7iet)t would have given him an ascen- 
 dant, even if iie had been born in a 
 pri\jte station ; and his personal bra- 
 very would have procured him respKct, 
 even (hough it had been less supported 
 by art and policy. By his great pro- 
 gress in literature, he acquired the 
 name o( Benu Clerc, or the Scholar; 
 but his application to sedentary pur- 
 suits abated nothing of the activity 
 and vigilance of his government ; anfl 
 though the learning of that age was 
 better fitted to corrupt than improve 
 tlie understanding, his natural good 
 sense preserved itself untainted both 
 from the pedantry and superstition 
 which were then so prevalent among 
 men of letters. " i 
 
 His temper was very susceptible of ' 
 the sentiments as well of friendship as 
 resentment; and his ambition, ihouj^h j 
 high, might be esteemed mo<ierate, ! 
 had not his conduct toward his bro- j 
 tlier shown, thv.t he w«s too much di? I 
 posed to sacrifice to it ali themaxiius i 
 of justice and equily. He d ed De- 
 cember 1, 1135, aged sixty-seven, 
 having reigned Ihirty-five years. I 
 
 ENGLAND sutil-red great miseries 
 duiiiig the reign of Stepl.en ; but hi^ 
 personal character, allowing far the 
 
 I temerity and injustice of his usurpa- 
 tion, appears not liable to any great 
 excej)tion ; and lie seems to have beeu 
 we'l qualified, had he succeed, d by 
 a just title, to have promoted the hap- 
 piness and prosperity of his subjects. 
 He was possessed of ir.dustiy, ac- 
 tivity, and courage, to a great degree ; 
 was not deficient in ability, had he 
 enjoyed the talent of gaining men's 
 "flections ; and, notwithstanding his 
 precarious situation, never induiged 
 liimself in the exercise of any cruelty 
 of revenge. His advancement to the 
 throne procured him neitlier tranquil- 
 lity nor happiness. Stephen died in 
 the year 1J54.. 
 
 IN the fifty-eighth year of his age, 
 ind thirty-fifth of his reign, died 
 \ Hf-nry the second, the greatest prince 
 I of his time for wisdc^m, viitjie, and 
 ability, and the most powerful in ex- 
 lent of dominion, of all those that 
 had cv-^r filled the ihrouc of England. 
 His character, both in public ai;d pri- 
 vate life, is almost without a blemish; 
 and he seems to have possc'^secl every 
 yccomplishment, bcth of body and 
 miiid, which makes a man estimable 
 or amiable. 
 
 He Vi'as of a middle stature, strong 
 and well-proportioned ; his counte- 
 nanre was liveiy and engaging ; his 
 nniversation aftable and entertaining ; 
 his elficutioii easy, persuasive, aod 
 ever at coumiand. He lovei' peace, 
 but possessed both londuct and bra- 
 very in war ; was provi4en( without 
 timidity; severe in (he 'ixecution of 
 justice without rigour, and temperata 
 vviihout austerity. He preNcrved 
 health, and kept himstif froiu cor- 
 .)n'ency, to t\hich he was somewhat 
 inclmed, by an absiemious diet, and 
 by ftequent exercise, particularly by 
 hunting. When he could enjoy leistire, 
 he recreat(ui himscif m learned con- 
 versafion, or in reading; and iie cul- 
 tivated hij natural taUnls by study, 
 above any priuce of his lime. 
 Y 2
 
 JG4 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs^ Wonderful Et^nts^ 
 
 His affections, as well as liis enmi- 
 ties, were warm and durable; and his 
 Ion"! experience of the ingrutitiide and 
 intidehty of men never destroyed the 
 natural sensibili'y of his temper, which 
 disposed him to friendship and society. 
 
 His character has been transmit- 
 ted to us by many writers, who were 
 his contemporaries ; and it resembles 
 extremely, in its most remarkable 
 strokes, that of liis matenial grand- 
 father, Henry I. excepting only that 
 ambition, whicli was a ruling passion 
 in both, found not in the first Henry 
 such unexceptionable means of exert- 
 ing itself, and pushed that prince into 
 measures which were both criminal 
 in themselves, and were the cause of 
 further crimes, from which his grand- 
 son's ionduct was happily exempted. 
 He died in 11 89. 
 
 Two of a Trade. 
 SAYS Jack to Tom, you're a rogue and a 
 
 cheat, 
 Says Tom to Jack you're a rascal complete ; 
 Quolh Ricbard, the truth of the proverb 1 
 
 see, 
 That two of a trade will never agree. 
 
 ?tew Application of a Pack of Cards. 
 
 THE four suits correspond to the 
 four quarters of t!ie year, and the 
 number of cards in each suit, to the 
 weeks in a quarter. The twelve court 
 tards intimate the twelve calendar 
 months. The king and queen remind 
 me of the duty I owe to their majes- 
 ties; the ten, of the commandmeuls; 
 the niiie, of theniuses; the eight, of 
 the beatitudes; t!ie seven, of the won- 
 ders of the world; the six, to work 
 six days, atid to keep the seventh 
 lioly; the five, of the senses given 
 l>y God to man ; the four, of the 
 seasons; the three, of the graces; the 
 two, of the contrary principles of 
 virtue and vice; the ace, of one su- 
 preme God; and the knave^ of him 
 Avho is a foe to the couililutioii of hi? 
 Cfuntrv. 
 
 Tico Heads letter than oue. 
 
 AS Yorkshire Humphrey t'other day 
 Oe'r Loiiilon Bridge wa* ••t'.iraping, 
 
 He saw with vvonrier and <lelij:ht 
 The Water- Works a pumpiiig : 
 
 Nump« gazing stood, and, wond'ring ho\T 
 
 This grand machine was made, 
 To feast liis eyes, he thrust his head 
 
 Belwixt ihe ballnstrade. 
 
 A sharper prowling near tliespot, 
 
 Observes the gaping lout ; 
 And soon with iish-hook fiugersturnt 
 
 His pockets inside out. 
 
 Nnmps feels the twitch, and turns aroond, 
 
 The thief, with artful leer; 
 Says, " Sir, you'll presently be robb'd 
 
 For pick-pockets are near." 
 
 Qnoth Numps. " I don't fear London thieves, 
 
 " i'se not a simple youth, 
 "My guinea, Oleaster's, safe enow, 
 
 " I've put'n in ma mouth !" 
 
 " You'll pardon me," the rogue replies; 
 
 Then modestly retires ; 
 Xuraps re-assumes his gaping post, 
 
 And still the works admires. 
 
 The artful prowler takes bis stand 
 
 Wi(h Humphrey full in view, 
 And now an infant thief drew near, 
 And each the other knew. 
 
 When thns the elder thief began, 
 
 " Observe that gaping lout ! 
 " He has a guinea in his month, 
 
 " And we must get it out." 
 
 " Leave that to me," young Filcher says, 
 
 " 1 have a .scheme quite pat ; 
 •' Only observe how neat I'll queer 
 
 " That gaping country flat '." 
 
 By this lime Numps had gazed his fill, 
 'vVas trudging tSirough the street ; 
 
 When the young pilferer, tripping by, 
 Falls prostrate at his feet. 
 
 ''OLord! Odear! my money's lost!" 
 
 The artful urchin moans ; 
 While halfpence, falling from his hand, 
 
 Kolljingling o'er the stones. 
 
 The passengers now stop to find. 
 
 And gave the boy his coin; 
 \nd Humphrey, with this friendly band. 
 
 Most cordially does join. 
 
 • There is thy pence," qnoth Numps wy boy 
 " Be ziiRK THRE HAiu-ns 'em faster." — 
 
 ' My pence! quoth Filch, " here is my pence 
 "But wheie 8 roy gij.ne.*, Master?
 
 Interesting Narratites, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry , Sc- 165 
 
 " Help ! help ! good folliS, for God's sake 
 help!" 
 
 Bawls out this hopeful youth, 
 *' He pick'd my guinea unjust now, 
 
 " And has it ia Uis luunlh I" 
 
 Tiie elder thief \^asIurUing near. 
 Now close to Humphrey draws ; 
 
 And, seizing by the gullet, plucki, 
 The guinea from his jaws; 
 
 Then roars otif, " iNIstters, here's the coin, 
 
 " I'll give the child bis guint'a; 
 ' Dnt who'd have thought to see a thief 
 " In this same country il?nuy?" 
 
 Humphrey a'toBish'd, th»s begins. 
 
 " Good Ulcasters, hear mo, pray ;'' 
 But "duck him ! dnck him !" is the cry : 
 
 At length he sneaks awa;'. 
 
 'f And now," quoth Nump.'^, "I will believe 
 
 " What often I've heard said, 
 '' That London thieves will steal the teeth 
 
 •'Out of a body's head !'' 
 
 Quin and Foofe. 
 
 AS Qnin and Foote one day vralk'd out, 
 
 To view the country round, 
 In merry mood they chatting stood, 
 
 Hard by the village pound. 
 
 Foote from his poke a shilling took, 
 
 And said, ' I'll beta penny. 
 In a short space, wif bin this place, 
 
 I'll make this piece a guinea.' 
 
 Upon the ground, within theponnd, 
 The shilling soon was thrown ; 
 
 ' Behold,' said Foofe, 'the thing's made out, 
 For there is one ponnd one.' 
 
 < I wonder not,' says Quin, ' that thought, 
 Should in yonr head be found, 
 
 Since that's the way your debts to pay. 
 One shilling in the pound.' 
 
 Upon being required to give a Logical Defi- 
 nition of an Epigram, 
 
 AN Epigram is— is— 'tis plain, 
 And ohvions, what it is: 
 This is an Epigram ; so then, 
 An Epigram is this. 
 
 The Three Wives. 
 
 THOUGH marriage, by mopt folks, be reck- 
 oned a curse, 
 
 Three wives did I marry for better or worse: 
 
 The first for her person, the next for her 
 pnrse. 
 
 And the the third for a ttarmiag pan, dcc- 
 tresa, and nurse. 
 
 A Case of Seduction, 
 
 MARY Feiifon was the eldest 
 dsugliter of an industrious villager, 
 at Diiiisoi), in Oxfordsliire ; she was 
 a lively girl, with a i-retty face and 
 well-pioportioned form ; nor could an 
 «^xposure to the wea!hcr in the harvest 
 field, diminish the attractions of this 
 pleasing viliage-maid. In this state 
 of obbcnre but blanteless povertv, 
 Mary attained her nineteenth year, 
 and was niiiversally allowed by her 
 rustic neighbours to be one of the 
 prettiest girls iti the country, and re- 
 markable for modesty and agreeable 
 manners. She had been taught to 
 rtad and write, at a Sunday school, 
 and was perfectly contented with her 
 humble situation, when a letter from 
 a female friend, who had adventured 
 to London, first interrupted the sere- 
 nity of Mary. 'I he friend was employ- 
 ed as housemaid in a nobleman's 
 family ; she had heard of a place for 
 Mary, and invited her to share the 
 deliglits of servitude, in terms of rap- 
 turous euiogium. 
 
 Incited by that curiosity so strong 
 in the youthful mind, Mary, with the 
 concurrence of her parents, who were 
 very poor, prepared for her journey; 
 and after bestowing the kiss of friend- 
 ship on each of her three sisters, she 
 left home. With a bosom throbbiii'* 
 with the pleasurable emotions of hope, 
 she set out on her journey, and arriv- 
 ed in the capital in health and good 
 spirits. 
 
 She was received by her friend 
 with unaffected joy, and on applica- 
 tion, to a lady in Baker-street, who 
 wanted a nursery-maid, she was hired, 
 and entered upon her arduous employ- 
 ment without delay. Mary, thongli 
 unacquainted with the cares of the 
 nursery, soon became a proficient in 
 the management of children. She 
 was in possession of those indispens- 
 able requisites good health, a cheerful 
 temper, and a tender heart : the two 
 children entrusted to her care, soon
 
 165 Liter ary Curiosities, Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events, 
 
 became strongly attached to her, auri 
 the first year which she spent in Baker- 
 street, was a >ear of iiappiiiess. tier 
 wages and the liberal presents which 
 she received from tiie visitors amount- 
 ed to about twenty pounds; one half 
 of which she sent to her indigent pa- 
 rents, and the residue was laid out in 
 requisite clothiug. 
 
 Mary was now a pretty nursery 
 maid, her rusticity gradually gave 
 place to more graceful manners, and 
 her behaviour was irreproachably de- 
 cent. But the hour approached in 
 which the hapj)ine&s of this amiable 
 girl was to be sacrificed to the caprice 
 of a superior, and her pure heart, 
 unsuspicious of evil, was soon to re- 
 ceive the contaminating taint of depra- 
 vity. The Hon. Captain L***** 
 became a resident in Baker-street. 
 
 He was the only brother of Mary's 
 mistress; and having acquired a iox- 
 tune in India, came home to spend it 
 in England. Soon after his arrival, 
 he took a fancy to the pretty nursery- 
 maid ; iiud unaccustomed to the re- 
 straint of his capricious desires, he 
 resolved to violate the laws of hospi- 
 tality and honour, by the seduction 
 of viri;in innocence. Finding Mary 
 iuuiioved by his unmeaning flattery 
 and polite assiduity, he proceeded to 
 addre-s her witli all the apparent ar- 
 dour of a sincere lover. The vanity 
 of tlje nursery- ujaid was gratified by 
 the attention of a gtutien)an, who 
 swore he loved her, and would marry 
 ber; she believed his protestations, 
 and was seduced from the path of dis- 
 cretion. 
 
 For some months the unhappy 
 dupe of falsehood lived in daily ex- 
 pectation tiiat lit'r lover would realize 
 that promise of a private marriage, 
 which he so repeatedly swore he 
 would perform. Her situation now 
 became extremely critical ; she was far 
 advanced in pregnancy, and dreaded 
 the exposure of ht r impiudence. To 
 add £0 her affliction, the captain went 
 
 to pass the summer at Brighton. He 
 gave her a kiss, and presented her 
 with five guineas, at parting — but she 
 never saw him again. Like most men 
 of pleasure, the captain was totally 
 callous to all the finer emotions of the 
 heart; and when Mary pressed his 
 hand, while her bosom was convulsed 
 with sobs, and her eyes overflowed 
 with the honest tears of true love, he 
 turned from her with a fashionable 
 shrug, and humming an Italian air as 
 he walked down stairs, mounted his 
 horse and rode oft', without bestowing 
 another thought on bis abandoned 
 victim. 
 
 The pregnancy of Mary now be- 
 came so visible, that the scandalous 
 circumstance was whispered among 
 her fellow-servants, and soon commu- 
 nicated to her mistress. Mary was 
 interrogated by the lady, who felt her 
 honourable pride alarmed, at the idea 
 of permitting an abandoned girl ta 
 sleep under the same roof. The poor 
 dupe of deception confessed the truth ; 
 but tiie perfidy of the captain was so 
 far from exciting indignation against 
 him, and pity for Mary, that his sifter 
 instantly turned her out of doors! 
 
 It was now six o'clock in the even- 
 ing, and Mary — the poor outcast 
 Mary — went, with a face covered with 
 blushes, to recount her errors and 
 misforturres to that friend who had 
 tempted her from innocent rusticity 
 to vicious refinement. Her friend re- 
 ceived iier with apparent cordiality, 
 expressed her concern on finding she 
 was out of place; but on hearing the 
 particulars of her disgrace, she started 
 up, and stood at a distance from the 
 unfortunate girl, as if she dreaded in- 
 fection. When her sui prise abated, 
 she requested Mary to go with her to 
 the house of an acquaintance in the 
 neiiihbourhnod— there she lel't her, 
 with a prumisc to call in the moniii.ir, 
 but with a secret resolution never 
 iiiore to hold -niy intercourse with a 
 dishonoured woman.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetn/, Sc 167 
 
 Noxt morning Mary waited for 
 some lime, in expectation of a visit 
 from her friend — but no friend came: 
 Mary had not a friend in the world. 
 She then wrote a letter to her former 
 companion, and received a laconic 
 answer, informing her, that in con- 
 sequence of what had happened in 
 Baker-street, the correspondence must 
 terminate, for the loss of character 
 was an irremediable evil. With h 
 heart almost bursting with mournful 
 and indignant emotions, the aban- 
 doned Mary began her solitary jour- 
 ney to her natal village. Her parents 
 she thought would not reject her; and 
 this consolatory reflection enabled her 
 to travel on foot nearly seventy miles, 
 exposed to the heat of summer. 
 
 On her arrival at the cottage, which 
 had been the former scene of her 
 blameless youthfiil joys. Mary shed 
 tears; she found her parents both 
 living; but her father was confined to 
 Led by a severe indisposition, which 
 was not mitigated by the misfortunes 
 of his child. Mary, however, re- 
 ceived no reproaches, she was wel- 
 comed back with the cordiality of 
 parental aflectiou ; and having brought 
 about twenty pnvmds with iicr, she 
 obtained medical aid, which graduallv 
 restored her father to his usual health. 
 Two months after her arrival, Mary 
 was delivered of a son, and thf^ re- 
 quisite accommodations diminished 
 Jier purse, insomuch, that u) a short 
 time she found herself pennyless. — 
 Her parents were unable to atibrd her 
 any relief, except a share of their 
 humble fare, and the shelter of their 
 cottage: she made several applica- 
 tions to those farmers' wives in the 
 neighbourhood, who wanted a nurse, 
 but none of them would admit her 
 imder their roof. In this distress 
 Mary applied to the parish otTicers for 
 . relitf, but her bastard had no clain; 
 on them, it must be sent to the parish 
 of 8t. Mary-le-Bone. Dtstitute antJ 
 almost despairing, Mary was necessi- 
 
 tated to wander as a mendicant, 
 ihrongh the vilhiges of Oxfordshire, 
 Her beautiful aspect, pale with woe, 
 und frequently bedewed with tears, 
 t;xciled the pity of the compassionate, 
 who relieved her immediate wants; 
 but her misfortunes too often served 
 as a snbject for the gross and licen- 
 (ious wit of unfeeling rustics. Ad- 
 versify preyed on the spirits of Mary, 
 but with her sufl'erings, her love of 
 virtue returned. Indeed she had 
 .iev(.r been vicious; she was dpceived, 
 not corrupted; and this reflection 
 proved consolatory, amid the sur- 
 rounding calamities of want and in- 
 famy. The little boy too, proved a 
 fine thriving child ; accustomed to 
 continual changes of air, he daily 
 grew stronger and more lively, and his 
 fond mother often, witli tearful eyes 
 bent over bin?, kissed that smiling 
 companion, who was unconscious that 
 his existence had been the cause of 
 a mother's misery. 
 
 Half a year passed away, and the 
 vagrant mother and child were unpro- 
 vided for — no benign hand opened an 
 asylum to shelter them from the win- 
 try air. The clothing of Mary was 
 insufficient to atVord necessary warmth 
 to herself and her infant, and she 
 exposed a frame naturally delicate to 
 the chilling atmosphfre, v.hile she 
 wrapped a tattered silken cloak about 
 her son, and cherished him at her i/et 
 irarm bosom. In her wandering, 
 vluring a gloomy afternoon in Decem- 
 ber, she beheld a village on a distant 
 hill. She bent her steps towards it, 
 but spiritless and exhau-ted, a sudden 
 faintness compelled her to stop at the 
 entrance of a lane. The shades of a 
 wmter's evening closed fist around 
 lier — she was hungry, cold, and des- 
 >itute — but she was not alone; ah, no! 
 -t helpless infant was her companion, 
 i'hus abandoned as an ciilcast in a 
 civilized nation which so loudly boosts 
 of its humanity, the s^d victim of a 
 villain's arts, ^va« left to periah, "wi>.h
 
 168 lAlerary Curiosities, JEpitaph.t, TVo7iderfid Events, 
 
 not a fiiend to close her eyes." Yet 
 although abanHoiifd by mankind, she 
 was not forsaken by celestial mercy ; 
 the conscionsnees tliat she was unfor- 
 tunate but not criminal, blunted the 
 arrows of death. While sensibilily 
 remained, she performed the duties of 
 a good mother. She pressed her in- 
 fant to that bosom which was chilled 
 liy the blasts of night : she supplied 
 liim with milky nutriment, and folded 
 the aon of her youth in a last embrace. 
 Tears of maternal love dropped from 
 the eyes of the dying mother, on the 
 beloved face which she was never 
 ■ more to behold — she uttered a plain- 
 tive prayer to the Father of the 
 fatherless, beseeching his protection 
 to her son — then clasping the infant 
 jiiore closely in her arms, she laid her 
 head on a mossy bank, and closed her 
 eyes for ever on sublunary scenes. 
 
 In this state her corpse was found 
 about tl'.e dawn, by a waggoner, who 
 happening to stop his horses on the 
 road adjacent to the spot were Mary 
 lay, was alarmed by the feeble crv of 
 an infant. He discovered the child, 
 endeavouring to suck the breast of the 
 unhappy mother — but that fountain 
 was for ever dried up. The honest 
 rustic wept over this mournful scene ; 
 lie conveyed the child to a secure asv- 
 hnn, and the remains of poor Mary 
 were interred in the village churchvard. 
 
 Epitaph, in the true Stone-Cuticr's'stijle. 
 
 HERE lies the l)ody of 'I tiomas Dollnian, 
 A vastly fat, tho' not a very tall man ; 
 Pay t-erjeant was he in the Royal Siirry,. 
 A better / tla'nk.^ you'll not see ia a hurry : 
 Full twenty stone he weighed, yet I'm told. 
 His captain thotight bim worth his weight 
 
 in gold ; 
 GrimdeaUi, who ne'er to nobody shews 
 
 favour, 
 Hurried him off, for alt his pood behaviour, 
 Regardless of his weiglit, lie bundled him 
 
 away ; 
 ' Fore any one Jack Robinson could say : 
 Soldier take care, and by him pray talie 
 
 warning, 
 You may be dead ere night, tho' alive and 
 
 well ia the niornins. 
 
 Tfie following Partinilars relating 
 to Joanna Southcoit, by a Writer 
 signing himself '• Amicus Heligio," 
 are from the Morning Chronicle. 
 
 IN the year 17.90, this prophetess 
 was a workwoman at an tipholsterer's 
 in Exeter. The upholsterer was a 
 meil'odist, and his shop v.'as visited 
 by methodist ministers, who were so 
 struck with Joanna's serious turn of 
 mind, that they thought her a prodigy, 
 and used frequently to discuss 'jeavenly 
 subjects with her. With the aid of 
 dreams and visions, she now begaii .JL 
 to think herself ins))ired. One morii- M 
 ing, m 9w?c()ing the shop, she found 
 a seal, wisii the initials, I. S. It was 
 the miraculous seal, of which sije had J| 
 been forev.arned in a vision. She j| 
 now quitted the shop, and turned 
 proj)hetess. In 1792, she states that 
 she was visited by the Lord, who told 
 her that a vision woulfl be shewn to _ 
 her in the night. It appeared, some- ■ 
 times in the shape of a cup, and then ^ 
 like a cat, w hich she kicked to pieces. 
 This made her uneasy, till ^hc was ^ 
 told that tin se were nothing but the 9 
 tricks of Satan. The methodist preach- 
 ers and others now had a meeting with 
 her: a warm discussion ensued: it 
 ended in their assenting to a paper, 
 stating that her calling was of God. 
 — Converts now rapidly increased, 
 ai d she could hardly furnish seals 
 enough for them. The sealed papers 
 contauied texts of scripture, promis- 
 sory of beatitude hereafter, stamped 
 with the seal found in the upholsterer's mt 
 shop. The sealed person is forbidden ^ 
 to open the paper, lest the charm 
 should be destroyed. Those who 
 wish to see the writings of the pro- 
 phetess, have only to purchase an 
 eighteen penny book from Mr. Sharp 
 the engraver, or Mr. Tozer, the 
 preacher. Her " seven days' dialogues 
 with Satan," according to Amiens 
 Religio, is too blasphemous for publi- 
 cation — In 1S03, she published some 
 remarks ou the church prayers, t®
 
 Jnferesting Narratives,^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, S^-c. 169 
 
 which Mr. Sliarp contributed a |)re- 
 f.ice. lie asserts that tlie characfer 
 ot" tiie pi<i])iietess wiil be found in the 
 Heve/ations, c. xii. v. 1. which runs 
 thus: "And there appeared a great 
 wonder- in heaven ; a woman c!othe<i 
 with the sun, and the moon under her 
 feet, and upon her head a crown of 
 Twelve stars." Amicus Religio cannot 
 perceive the applicabiiity of this pjs- 
 sajje to Joanna Soutiicott: he has 
 known it applied ,to liie Virgin Mary ; 
 but how, lie asks, does it apj^ly to the 
 Virs^in Joiinuu ? — In tlie filth verse of 
 tlie same chapter, it states tiiat the 
 wonsaii is delivered of a male c[iild, 
 who is " to rule all nations with a ro(! 
 of iron." Tiiis text no doubt coin- 
 cides with tlie Virgin Joanna's prejj- 
 nancy, and next January (1 815) the 
 pronjised Sliilo is expected — Mr. 
 Tozer has either sworn, or is re idy 
 to swear, tiiat Joanna is a virgin. — 
 With regard to the doctrines of the 
 prophetess, it is no easy matter to get 
 •at them, for they are all of *' a mys- 
 terious, ambiguous, blasphemons, or 
 illiterate description." All that Ami- 
 cus Religio has been able to collect, 
 relates to a second redemption of man- 
 kind, through the mediuiu of Joanna; 
 that her coming is called (he second 
 advent; that when the number of her 
 followers sliall amount to three hun- 
 dred thousand, then the objects of 
 lier mission will be for the most part 
 accomplished ; that all who admit the 
 truth of her writings will be blessed, 
 and those who deny them condemned 
 to everlasting torment. She also as- 
 serts, tliat the salvation of numkind 
 will not be completed, without a se- 
 cond redemption wrought in her per- 
 son. — The Reverend S. P. Foley (said 
 to be a relation of Lord Foley) and 
 the Rev. Mr. Tozer, are now the lead- 
 ing preachers of Joanna's doctrines in 
 the metropolis. Mr. Carpenttr, ".if 
 the house of God," Newinglon- Butts, 
 has seceded from her ministry, and 
 employs a young man to see visions 
 for him on liis own account. 
 
 A stone has been placed over the 
 remains of tiie late Joanna Southcott, 
 in the new burial ground of St. Mary- 
 le-bone, adjoining the Regent's Park, 
 with the following mystic inscription: 
 
 In memory of Joanna Southcott, who 
 departed this life, D-ec.lJ, 1814, 
 oged 65. 
 
 " While through all thy wond'rous days, 
 " Heaven and earth enrapfurM gaze: 
 " While vaia sages think Ihey know, 
 " .^ecrels thou alone canst shew, 
 " Time alone Win tell \vhat hoar, 
 " Thou'lt appear in greater power!" 
 
 Joanna Southcott and her Follojvers. 
 
 A MRS. B- , tlie wife of a 
 
 respectable tradesman, being fond of 
 novelty, had eagerly swallowed down 
 the heavenly prophecies, that Joanna 
 had written, and said on subjects of 
 nocturnal discoveries and lucnbratory 
 compositions, being extrem<'ly anxious 
 to ascertain how her sealed soul could 
 safely get to glory, a little quicker than 
 the rest of her sealed brethren, ap- 
 plied to a noted rhodomontade doctor 
 m Joanna's cause, for advice, who 
 readiiy informed his weak adherent, 
 that she mtist follow the example of 
 our blessed Saviour when on this 
 earth ; who with all humility entered 
 Jerusalem *• meek aud lowly, riding 
 upon an ass, and upon a colt, the foal 
 of an ass;" and that as Christ rode 
 info the literal Jerusalem on an ass, 
 (which was a figure and type of the 
 heavenly Jerusalem above ;) so Mrs. B. 
 as a disciple of Jesus, and a sealed 
 heir of Joanna's angelic tribe, was to 
 ride on an ass into the heavenly Jeru- 
 salem, escorted by an angel, of the 
 first order, ordained and commis^ion- 
 e 1 by the Bride, mentioire;! in the 
 2 Esdras, vii 2(5. to watcli and pro- 
 tect the sealed favorites, in the nicro- 
 laantic school, and bring them safe to 
 ; glory on some heavenly donkey! ! 
 Believing the above .statement to be 
 true, Mrs. B. was in constant expecta- 
 
 • z
 
 170 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 tion of the heavenly messenger who 
 was to conduct her, from the evil to 
 come. Mr, B. her husbarM.!, who had 
 repeatedly (but in vain) warned his 
 wife of the delusive and diabolical 
 doctriaes, imposed upon the weak and 
 ignorant, by that wicked witch Jo- 
 anna Southcott, and her deceiving 
 followers, could have had little or no 
 domestic happiness with his misguided 
 wife, who by night, was constantly 
 dreaming of Joanna and her visions; 
 and by day, dinning his ears with the 
 delectable anticipation of her aerial 
 jiighi, on one of Joanna's spiritual 
 and angelic neddies! 
 
 Thus anticipating the grand ap- 
 pearance of the heavenly messenger, 
 and impatiently watching the fulfil- 
 ment of the wonderful prediction, 
 Mr. B's family and household aftairs 
 became neglected, if not quite aban- 
 doned, by his (before) valuay>le and 
 good housewife. — Being at a loss what 
 step to take to undeceive his innovated 
 wife, Mr. B. consulted a friend on the 
 business, who devised a plan that pro- 
 duced the desired eft'ect; they both 
 agreed, that on a certain night about 
 twelve o'clock, (the awful moment 
 when the midnight hosts, from the 
 dark regions of the bottomless pit are 
 permitted to ascend, and -aW spectres, 
 hobgoblins, demons, and spirits of 
 wizards, and witches, make their noc- 
 turnal excursions in order to perform 
 their regular demonology, and gain 
 proselytes to the prince of darkness) 
 the friend of Mr. B. was to make his 
 appearance, clothed in white, riding 
 on the divine jack-ass, and in al! the 
 n)njestic and heavenly form possible, 
 to approach the door of Mr. B. with 
 three loud and aivfid raps, (assuming 
 the voice of an f:rchangel) to sunsmon 
 Mrs. B. to the world of spirits —The 
 long wished for ptriod arrives; llie 
 heaxcnlij messenger [.erforms his othcc: 
 Mr. B. looks out «f Uie window, and 
 incpiires who is there ? Being answered 
 "J am the l;oiy angel sciit by tlie 
 
 venerable agent, residing in the town 
 of the augusit Lady Joanna Southcott, 
 to conduct your sealed spouse to the 
 mansions of bliss." Mr. B. in seem- 
 ing agitation, informed his dear part- 
 ner of the singular address he had 
 met with, from the mighty visitor, and 
 enquired of her, who this astonisliing 
 personage could be? He was an- 
 swered by his beloved wife to the fol- 
 lowihg effect, " O dear I the doctor's 
 prophecy is come to pass! 'Tis the 
 good angel come to fetch me to heaven. 
 I must arise and go to glory with my 
 heavenly guide," &e. In vain did 
 Mr. B. attempt to undeceive his good 
 lady, and shew the absurdity of the 
 prophecy : go she was determined. — 
 What a scene imniediately took place I 
 his children cn/ing ; his serva?its rea- 
 soning ; himself in (seeming) tears; 
 and even the very cat was in agonies, 
 at the sudden alarm and confusion 
 that had taken place: still Mrs. B. 
 remained unmoved, as to feeling the 
 least relentings, or desire to continue 
 in the troubles, cares and perplexities 
 of a family. Ail pathetic entreaties 
 and sound reasoning being useless, 
 Mr. B. consents, with seeming reluc- 
 tance to receive her farewell kisses ; 
 she embraces her children ; takes he- 
 leave of the servants; and complies 
 with the angel's hasty and peremptory 
 request ; bids a final farewell to all 
 terrestrial objects; quickly mounts th« 
 humble steed, and with the surprising 
 agility of a thorough blood donke}/, in 
 less than two hours, arrives at a lonely 
 spot about two miles from the place 
 of her abode. Mrs. B. was now ap- 
 prised, by her heavenly guide, that 
 another sealed female was yet left 
 behind, and must be immediately 
 fetched to that spot, in order to as- 
 cend upwards with her ; slse therefore 
 dismounted, patiently to stay for the 
 return of her angelic |)rotector. Bui 
 lo ! having waited about three or four 
 hours; and no return of either angtl 
 or donkey, her fears came on, her
 
 Interesting Narratives, Emg??ms, Epigrams, Poetry, &)C, 17 i 
 
 faith began to stagger, her prayers to 
 Joanna and her spirit, (though fer- 
 vently ofFered) seemed to flow in vain. 
 No heavenly guide appears ; no sealed 
 sister is in view. Despair pervades 
 her mind ; alnrmed beyond measure, 
 she moves with velocity, tlie lonesome 
 road towards her house, and as soon 
 as she came, (with unspeakable agi- 
 tation and mortification,) raps lustily 
 at the door of her once peaceful 
 dwelling, Mr. B. looking from the 
 window, inquired " who is there?" 
 Mis. B answers " your denr wife, 
 my love!" He replied, "than can 
 never be : she is gone to heaven on 
 one of Joanna's spiritual donkeijs, se- 
 veral hours ago, and no doubt by this 
 time is happy enough. She can have 
 no wish to reJurn to the cares of a 
 family, or to this troublesome world I" 
 Mrs. B. finding ail attempts to per- 
 suade her loving husband that she 
 really relumed in the bod}/, was at 
 length obliged to desist, and patiently 
 bear the inclemency of the weather, 
 until the morning; when she con- 
 vinced her dear partner, by his feeling 
 and handling her, that she was stiil 
 only Jlesh, and not spirit. Mrs. B. 
 being now undeceived, and thoroughly 
 satisfied that Joanna, her doctors, 
 priests, and sealed people, were all 
 under the immediate influence of the 
 devil, became once more a good 
 housewife, an affectionate domestic ; 
 and has ever since discarded the false 
 prophecies, and diabolical writings of 
 Joanna Southcott. 
 
 On an Insurance-Offiee in Baltimore, 
 America, 
 
 IF you would have your Goods secur'd, 
 
 From fire or from water ; 
 Step in ; all things are liere insured, 
 
 Except your Wile and Daughter. 
 
 A Pennyworth of Wit. 
 
 A MAN of some address, and no 
 little assurance, having watched an 
 opportunity to importune the late 
 Duke of Newcastle for money, enfor- 
 ced his request, by quaintly observing, 
 that as they were of the same family, 
 heins^ both descended from Adam, he 
 hoped his grace would not refuse 
 something towards his support, "Cer- 
 tainly not," replied the Duke, " cer- 
 tainly not ! — There is a penny for you 
 and if all your relations do but give 
 you half as much, you will soon be a 
 far richer man than I am i" 
 
 On a Seaman. 
 MY watch perfornj'd, lo here at rest I lay, 
 Not to turn out till resurrection day. 
 
 Classic Epitajjh. 
 HERE lies Tom Rogers, and 'lis something 
 
 rarisii, 
 He was horn aud bred, and haag'd all in 
 
 thisf ari';b. 
 
 Character of a well-bred Man. 
 SOME have supposed the fine gen- 
 tleman and the well-bred man to be 
 synonimoiis characters ; but I will 
 make it appear that nothing can be 
 piore widely different, the former 
 leaves nature entirely, the latter im- 
 proves upon her. He is neither a blav3 
 nor an enemy to pleasure, Lut ap- 
 proves or rejects as his , reason shall 
 direct. He is above stooping loflatler 
 a knave, though possessed of a title; 
 nor ever over-looks merit, lhou;;h he 
 should find it in a cottage. His be- 
 haviour is affable and respectful, yet 
 not cringing or formal ; and his 
 manners easy and unaffected. He 
 misses no opportunity wherein he can 
 oblige his friends, yet does it in so 
 delicate a manner, that he seems ra- 
 ther to have received than conferred 
 a favour. He d«;es not proless a 
 passion he never felt, to impose upon 
 the credulity of a silly woman; nor 
 will he injure another's rfpulation to 
 please her vanity. He cannot love 
 where he does not esteem, nor ever 
 suffers his passions to overcome his 
 reason. In his friendship he is steady 
 ';>d sincere, and hves less for himself 
 ihan for bis friend, 
 z2
 
 172 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 An Invitation to Margate. 
 THE day now opens wilh a morning fair, 
 
 And S '.« board(rs to the sea repair ; 
 
 Willi heavy bearisand sleepy headstiiey go, 
 Seeming to care not, if they balh'd cv no: 
 But now inevitable they see their fate 
 
 On that unerring record, S 's slate. 
 
 Now cries the Doctor, learn'd in bathing 
 
 laws, 
 «' Ye willing bathers come and l^ke your 
 
 cloaths." 
 Dear boasting Doctor ! tho' you seem so 
 
 stout. 
 No willing bather comes more willing out. 
 
 See— slow and thoughtful, they approach 
 
 the block, 
 And snniKcn all their courage for the shock ; 
 Anio! g I! « rest the lender Flora goes, 
 Watching the sea, as up the steps it flows, 
 " Indeed I cannot, cannot bathe" she cries ; 
 Then from the siep., in timid haste she flies : 
 And now returning with reluctant pace. 
 Pale horror pictur'd in her beauteous face, 
 Sees not the smiling guide in ambush lay ; 
 Ah ! now she seizes on her trembling prey, 
 Vaia are her weak attt mpts, herself to save, 
 Deep she imuierges in the briny wave. 
 
 But now she rises, sees her danger o'er, 
 AfFecls to laugh at what she fe<:r'd before : 
 Wishes to bathe again — pretends to spurn ^ 
 At woman's fears,— to-morrow shall she f 
 
 learn. 
 That with their cause the same effects 
 
 return. 
 
 So the rough sailor when he's safe on shore, 
 Forgets (he dangers he esrap'd before ; 
 But when again at sea, the thougbless elf, 
 Dreads the impending storm— and wonders, 
 
 at himself. 
 Thus are our passions with exactness 
 
 weigb'd, 
 As hope arises, all our fears are laid : 
 As either passion weakens in the scale, 
 In just proportion t'other shall pievail. 
 
 The clock strikes nine — now — 's boar- 
 ders meeting 
 
 With smirking faces bow— each other greet- 
 ing: 
 
 And now the Doctor Laving drank salt 
 water, 
 
 The girls affect to -vonder what he's after. 
 
 Nor roll nor tea he values of a farthing 
 
 But quits tliem both for 's pleasant 
 
 garden. 
 
 Breakfast now over— Low they pass their 
 time, 
 
 How gome write prose, and others wretched 
 rhyme ! 
 
 How various minds to various parts resort, 
 
 How some the rooms prefer, aod some the 
 fort : 
 
 i 
 
 All this, and more than this, in verse I'd 
 
 briug. 
 If writing verses was an easy thing : 
 If as of old the muses wou'd indi'e, 
 
 Aud poets need leara nothing but to 
 
 write. 
 Was this the case, old volumes I'd rehearse. 
 Philosophy Id teach — and all in verse. 
 But now, aias! should poets never write 
 But when capricious muses will indite: 
 In helpless expectation wait their leisure 
 To dictate sentiment, and rhyme, and mea- 
 sure ; 
 Longing for lines those fickle jades have 
 
 made, 
 Starved must our poets be, and lost their 
 trade. 
 
 Hark ! how speaks — he tells ye 
 
 tiuth: 
 Hear him, ye sensualist — old fl^c— and 
 
 youth. 
 
 ' Ye ]V1argate bathers, and ye drinkers too, 
 ' Wou'd ye my plan of health in truth 
 
 pursue, 
 ' Woa'd ye atrial to the waters give, 
 ' Mark rae ye eaters! — be temperate and 
 
 live- 
 ' Ye pamper'd wretches who from London 
 
 came, 
 ' Ye murderers of yourselves, ye sick and 
 
 lame ; 
 ' Ye traitors to your king and this lost 
 
 nation, 
 ' Curst with that load of life — a complica- 
 tion ! 
 ' In taveru luxuries no longer slay, 
 ' 'Tis reason calls you, reason points the 
 
 way ; 
 ' Eastward direct thy steps — but do't with 
 
 care — 
 ' T' explore the clearest way to Hawleifs 
 
 square : 
 
 ' A boarding house there is, well known of 
 yore, 
 
 ' 's 'tis now, 'twas '.s heretofore. 
 
 ' From me she learns her culinary art, 
 
 ' Cooks by ni'j book — has every page by 
 
 heart. 
 ' Your health her study, temperance all her 
 aim,. 
 
 ' No flaming gravies e'er from — • 
 
 came, 
 ' Nor turtle feasts, nor soups, nor hot chyan, 
 ' Shall e'er beguile you from my temperate 
 
 plan. 
 ' Variety ! — of health the greatest bane, 
 ' No Margate boarders must of this com- 
 plain. 
 ' Old England's staple here is often seen, 
 ' Two legs of mutton boil'd — a neck be- 
 tween, 
 ' Feeding too much on these I heard hersay, 
 ' Siie thought it best to take one ley away :'
 
 Interesting Narratkes, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poctny, S;c. 173 
 
 'And since, I'u) to)d— to give a faithei 
 
 C'leck 
 ' la spite of hungry looks — she's movea 
 
 the neck. 
 
 ' No Ionizer ^!ay, 
 
 ' But iiasl' .iway, 
 
 ' Ye invalids that can, 
 
 ' I assnr? yon, 
 
 ' She shall cure you, 
 
 * And finish what 1 began.' 
 
 ji Letter from the Right Reverend 
 Dr JVifcoeks, Bishop o't Rochts- 
 ier, thin Ow^hin to the English 
 Fdclorif at Lisbon, (resytctirg a 
 Young iVoman in the ttrritory of 
 ILlvas, in Portugal, who speakt 
 without a tovgne,) to a learned and 
 ingenious Gentleman, dated Lis- 
 bon, September 3, 1707. 
 
 Sir, 
 
 THE Conde D Ericeyra, a no- 
 bleuraii of letters, and ruiioiis in na- 
 tural knowledge, brougljt from the 
 country a young woman wilhout a 
 tonoue, who yet speaks very well. 
 She is seventeen years old, but in sta- 
 ture not exceedinii one of seven or 
 eight: I was with her at tiie Conde's 
 bouse, and made her pronounce every 
 letter in the alphabet ; whic!) she can 
 do distinctly except Q, whicli she 
 calls Cu, (after the common pronun- 
 ciation of all her country people.) 
 She hath not the least bit of a tongue, 
 nor any thin<i like it, but the leeth on 
 both sides of her jaws turn very much 
 inward, aed almost meet. She iinds 
 the greatest want of a tongue in eat- 
 ing, for as others, when they eat. 
 move their meet about with their 
 tongue, she is forced to use her fingers 
 She [)retendsto distinguish tastes ver\ 
 well ; but I believe doth it imperfectly. 
 Her voice, though very distinct, is 
 very hollow, and like tiiat of old peo- 
 ple who have lost half their teeth. 
 
 Univtrsal Magazine, 1748. 
 
 On a Taylor. 
 
 CABBAG'D by death and in his eye laid by, 
 The remnant of a laylor here doth lie. 
 
 A young King oj Persia, taught 
 Wisdom by a Shepherd. 
 
 A YOUNG King of Persia, named 
 Behriim, succeeded to the throne of 
 his lather at an ago in which he was 
 more (it to be governed than to govern ; 
 and tliinkmg he was a king for no 
 I iher reason but to con?!ult his own 
 h.ippiness, he delegfted to a vizir, 
 the whole government of his empire. 
 1 his vizir imagined he should never 
 be called to any account for what he 
 did, and therefore greatly abused the 
 trust reposed in him; the persons, 
 whom he employed under him, fol- 
 lowed the eNamplc of their master, 
 considering only their own private 
 interest, instead of the public good, 
 for which they were responsible. The 
 troops were ill-paid, and therefore 
 they neglected their duty ; all sorts of 
 order, justice, and economy, were 
 now no more, and the people began 
 to revolt. The prince was too late in- 
 formed, that his subjects would no 
 ionoer obey him. He roused himself 
 from his lethargy, and considered how- 
 he could prevent the evils that threat- 
 ened him : his counsellors, who were 
 awed by the presence of the vizir, 
 acquainted him with the complaints 
 of the people, but were afraid' to dis- 
 cover the cause. One day as the 
 prince was walking in a pensive mood, 
 reflecting upon the misfortunes that 
 sur'ouiuled him, he observed a 
 shepherd hanging up his dog upon a 
 tree. " What has that poor dog been 
 guilty of, said the king, to the shep- 
 herd, to deserve that ignominious 
 death ?" — " What has he done," re- 
 i lied the shepherd," why he has 
 abused the contidence I reposed in 
 him. I bred him up from a puppy, 
 and furnished him with food that he 
 might defend my sheep from the 
 wolves; instead of that hchas entered 
 mto a league with these voracious 
 animals, and is a partaker with them 
 in the booty; — my flock has been de- 
 stroyed by the perfidy of my dog.
 
 a 74 Literari/ Cunordics, Epitaphs, JVon^erftd Events ^ 
 
 The mjsfortuues of the multitude will 
 always fill upon the governor or 
 leader." — Theae words opened the 
 e^'esoflhe king; he comprehended 
 he had done wrong in submitting all 
 to his vizir, who he was convinced 
 was as perfidious as the shepherd's 
 tiog — he therefore ordered him to re- 
 ceive the same cliasti;ement that the 
 dog had so justly merited. 'J'his ex- 
 ample intimidated all those, who, like 
 ihe vizir, had alnised the portion of 
 authority with which they were in- 
 trusted; order and ivguiarity were 
 established in Persia, and a king wa< 
 instructed b_v a poor sliepherd, how 
 lie ought to govern mankind. 
 
 Half an hour before Dinner. 
 
 HOW sad it is to sit and pine, 
 The Ions; half hour bifore we dine ! 
 Upon our watches oft to look, 
 Then wonder at tlie clock and cook ; 
 To cast as long as we are able, 
 Desponding looksacioss thetabJe; 
 Till, at last, starting iVoai our chair, 
 We seiae a fork in mute despair — 
 Then raise a knife, or poise a plate. 
 And strive to laiigli, in spite of fate! 
 But laughter forced soon flies the room, 
 And leaves it in its former gloom : 
 Silence prevails — there seems no hope — 
 "Who with ihe fidgets e'er could cope? 
 
 Ah ! wJio as hunger grows still stronger, 
 The horrors of suspense «an tell? 
 
 What stomach can holdout, Sir, longer ?- 
 As a lastelTort, pull the bell ! 
 
 But, lo! the dinnernow appears— 
 The object of our Uopes and fears — 
 
 The end of ail our pain; 
 For all «)iir troubles past no matter, — 
 While glasses ring, and dishes clatter, 
 
 We are ourselves again ! 
 
 In Norwich Cathedral. 
 
 UNDER this Ston 
 
 Ligs John knapJoa 
 
 Who died Just 
 
 Ihe XXVII! ofaugnst 
 
 IVlDXCandon 
 
 Of thjs church Peti-canon. 
 
 Fqntaph. 
 HERE doctor FisiK-r lies interrd, 
 ■V^ ho's fiil'd ibe half of this church-yard. 
 
 Richard I. andJohn. 
 
 THE most shiningTiart of Richard's 
 character was his military talents ; no 
 man even in that romantic age, carried 
 courage and intrepidity to a greater 
 hcight ; and this qualify gained him 
 the a|)pellation of Lion-hearted Cfsur 
 dc Lion. He passionately loved glory; 
 and as his conduct in the field was not 
 inferior to his valour, he seems to have 
 possessed every talent necessary for 
 acquiring it. 
 
 His resentments also were high, his 
 pride unconquerable ; and his subjects 
 as well as his neighbours, had there- 
 fore reason to apprehend, from (he 
 continuance of his reign, a perpetual 
 scene of blood and violence. Of an 
 impetuous and vehement spirit, he was 
 distinguished by all the good as well 
 as the bad qualities which are incident 
 to tluit character. He was open, frank, 
 generous, sincere, and brave ; he was 
 revengeful, domineering, ambitious, 
 haughty, and cruel ; and v.'as thus 
 better calculated to dazzk* men by 
 the splendour of his enterprises, than 
 to promote either their happiness, or 
 his own grandeur by a sound and 
 well-regulated policy. 
 
 As military talents make great im- 
 pression on the people, he seems to 
 have been much beloved by his 
 English subjects; and he is remarked 
 to have been the first j)rince of the 
 Norman line who bore any regard to 
 them. He passed, however, only four 
 months of his reign in that kingdom ; 
 the crdisade employed him near three 
 years: he was detained about four 
 months in captivity: the rest of his 
 reign was spetit either in war, or pre- 
 parations for v.'ar against France ; and 
 lie was so j>leased with the fame which 
 he had acquired in tiie East, that he 
 seemed determined, notwithstanding 
 cdl his ])ast misforttincs, to have fur- 
 ther exhausted his kingdom, and to 
 have exjwsed himself to new hazards, 
 by co;ji!ucting another expedition 
 I against the infiilels. He died April 6, 
 ' 1 i 99. f^gctl 42, and reigned ten years.
 
 Interesting Nnrrnfhes, E?)lgmas, Epis:rams, Poetry^ ^c. 175 
 
 THE character of John is nothing \ 
 but a complication of vices, equally 
 mean and othotis, ruinous to hinjseh, 
 and deslructive to his people: cowar- 
 dice, inactivity, folly, licentiousness, 
 ingratitude, treachery, tyranny, and 
 cruelty ; all these qualities too evident- 
 ly appear in the several incidents of 
 liis life, to give us room to suspect, 
 that the disagreeable picture has been 
 anywise overcharged by the prejudices 
 of the ancient historians. 
 
 It is liard to say, whether his con- 
 duct to his father, his brother, his 
 nephew or his subjects, were most 
 culpable ; or whetlier his crimes in 
 these respects were not even exceeded 
 by the baseness which appeared in his 
 transactions with the king of France, 
 the Pope, and the barons. 
 
 His dominions, when they devolved 
 to him, by the death of his brother, 
 were more extensive than have ever 
 since iiis time been ruled by any Eng- 
 lish monarch. But lie first lost by 
 his misconduct in the flourishing pro- 
 vinces in Fiance, the ancient patri- 
 mony of his faniily : he subjected his 
 kingdom to a shamefid vassalcige un- 
 der the see of Rome : he saw the 
 prerogatives of his crown diminished 
 by law, and still more reduced by fac- 
 tioji : and he died at last when in 
 danger of being tolally expelled by a 
 foreign power, and of either ending 
 his life aiiiserably in a prison, or seek- 
 ing shelter as a fugitive from the pur- 
 suit of bis enemies. 
 
 The prejudices ag:unst this prince 
 were so violent, that lie was believed 
 to have sent an embassy to the empe- 
 ror of Morocco, a:Ki to have offered 
 to change his religion and become 
 Mahomedan, in order to purchase 
 the protection of that monarch. But 
 though this story is told u> on plau- 
 sible authority, it is in itscif utterly 
 improbable; except that there is 
 nothing so incredible, but may be be- 
 lieved to proceed from the wicked- 
 ness, and foJly cf John, He died in 
 1216'. 
 
 Affecting Scene of Distress. 
 
 A WIDOW of a timber-merchant, 
 who had lived in aiiiuence, finding 
 herself, by the premature death of her 
 husband, reduced to a very forlorn 
 situation, took refuge in a small, though 
 neat cottage, built upon the edge of a 
 common, and supplied with a little 
 flower-garden, which \Ves nicely culti- 
 vated in the days of her prosperity. 
 To this cottage of pleasure she used 
 to make frequent excursions in the 
 summer; and here she passed many 
 an afternoon in rural and not inelegant 
 simplicity. At her liusband'3 death 
 slie retired to it, as the only habita- 
 tion she co'dd call her own ; the com- 
 panion of her distress v.'us a daughter 
 the wi<!ow of a sea lieutenant, with 
 her child, a girl about eight years of 
 age, and this daughter's pension of 
 30/. constituted tiieir whole revenue. 
 For some years tl;oy lived wi'h an ap- 
 peara-iice of decency, though totally 
 sequestered from all comsnunication, 
 till the daughter died, and all the re- 
 sources of her mother were cut off. 
 She, nevertheless, appeared at church 
 with her grandchild in mourning, and 
 the girl huviiig now attained her J3tb 
 year, afi'orded the promise of a very 
 agreeable person ; a humane lady who 
 lived in the neiglibourhood, suspecting 
 iheiow circumstiinces of the grand- 
 mother, called at the cottage, and 
 oticred to educate the child in her own 
 family. The old gentlewoman thank- 
 ed her with an air of sullen pride, and 
 blessed God, that none of her family 
 had ever bcesi in th.e condition of ser- 
 vants; she rej( cted all advances that 
 were made to her by her charitable 
 neighbours; she was observed to 
 pawn her houshold furniture and her 
 wearing apparel piecemeal; she no 
 longer came to church, wm] her grand- 
 daughter gradually put <. n the appear- 
 ance of vvi^mt and misery, Dunng 
 a hard winter no baker was ever seen 
 at her door, no firing was carried into 
 her lonely hut, and scarce any smoke
 
 176 LHerarv Ctmosities^ Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events 
 
 issued from her chimney. The over- 
 seers of (he poor were desired to visi 
 and assist her; she luel thesn on tht 
 liireshold i:i wretched attire, declined 
 llieir assistance, and told them the^v 
 were set upon by lu-r eneniics to 
 •alTront her. At !en.f;th the boards that 
 formed a littk^ fence to her yard were 
 torn do\\nf(r fnel; the grand-daugh- 
 ter became more meagre, and more 
 naked, and iier piteous mornings were 
 often over-heard by passengers. I 
 took for granted that this hapless pair 
 were reduced to extreme distress, and 
 resolved to relieve them even in theii 
 ownde^^pite. I went to the cottage, ac- 
 C(>n)pa;)ied by two honest tradesn^en of 
 my acquaintance, I knocked at the 
 door, and after some delay, w as admit- 
 ted by such a melanchoiy specire oJ 
 misery, as I could not behold without 
 shedding tears. It was the wretched 
 damsel, wrapped in an old tattered 
 blasiket, exhibiting in her countenance 
 the marks of famine, grief, horror, 
 and despair. When I entered the 
 place, nothing was to be seen but bare 
 walls, except in one corner, where the 
 grand-mother lay expiring upon straw; 
 she had been in consequence of cold 
 and Inmger, sudilenly seized that very 
 day with the dead palsy, which de- 
 prived her of gpeech; and the peor 
 forlorn maiden, would not leave her in 
 that condition, lest slie should die in 
 her absence. Language is not able lo 
 convey an idea of what I felt on this 
 occasion. You may be sure they were 
 not hit in such extreme indigence. 
 The tdd woman died next day, not- 
 withstanding ail our assistance; my 
 wife has taken the grand -daughter 
 into htr care and protection. The 
 cheeks and upper bar of their grate 
 were the last things they sold to pur- 
 chase a loaf; for a whole week th.ev 
 had not tasted bread, but subsisted 
 upon old turnips, which had been 
 turned np by the plough in a neigh- 
 bouiing tield. 
 
 The distress of this woman you will 
 
 sav> was owing to her own pride and 
 obstinacy; but there are many other 
 riiUiiiies of worthy pe.'()le, who have 
 lived ill affluence, and starved, from 
 tiie same ninciples, upon a narrow 
 T:7c.''nip, which was formerly suflicient 
 to procure theindiipensable necessaries 
 of life. 
 
 London Magazine, 17^7. 
 
 To-Morrow. 
 
 TO-MORKOW, didst (Im;i fay? 
 Metliouglit I lieard Horatia say, (o-morro^T, 
 (lO to — I will not hear of it. — To-morrow ! 
 "j'is a sh-Tfjer, who siattes his penury 
 Against Jiiy [jleuty — who (alits Hiy ready 
 
 cash, 
 And pays Ihce nonght Iwit wishes, hopes, 
 
 ami promisees. 
 The currency of idiots. Injurious banli- 
 
 rupt, 
 That gnlls the easy creditor!— To-morrow ! 
 If is a period no where to be found 
 In all tlie hoary registers of time. 
 Unless perchance in the fool's calendar. 
 Wisdom disclaims the word, nop holds 
 
 society 
 With those who own it. No, my Horatio, 
 'Tis Fancy's child, and Folly is its father ; 
 Wrought of snch stuff as dreams are; and 
 
 baseless, 
 As the fantastic visions of the evening. 
 But soft, my friend — arrest the present 
 
 moments; 
 For beassur'd, they are all arrant tell-tales; 
 And though their flight be silent, and their 
 
 path tract less 
 As the wing'd couriej-s of the air. 
 They poi't to heaven, and there record thy 
 
 folly. 
 Because, tJiongh station'd on the important 
 
 watch, 
 Thou, like a sleeping, faithless centinel, 
 Didst let them pass unnotic'd, uniraprov'd. 
 And know, for that thou slumber'dst on the 
 
 guard. 
 Thou slialt be made to answer at the bar 
 For every fugitive: and when thou thus 
 Shalt stand impleaded at the high tril)unal 
 Of hood-wink'd Justice, who shall tell thy 
 
 audit? 
 Then stay the present instant, dear Horatio; 
 Imprint the marks of wisdom on its wings. 
 'Tis of more worth than kingdoms ! far more 
 
 precious 
 Than all the crimson treasures of life'* 
 
 fountain! — 
 Oh! let it not elude thy grasp, but, like 
 Tiie good old patriarch upon record, 
 ticid the fleet augel fast uatil he bless thee.
 
 Interexling Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetrt/, Sec. 177 
 
 Singtilar IVager. 
 
 A GENTLEMAN at a roffee house 
 in the citv, laid a ua<i(r of twenty 
 guineas with a friend present, tiut i)e 
 would walk the leii<;th of Brokers' 
 Row, Moorfieids, without bein^ asked 
 to walk into one of the shops. He 
 llien offered the same wa^,er, whir.ii 
 was likewise accepted, ihat iniinedi- 
 ateJy after the first beiii^ deterniioed, 
 he would walk the ::rouiid over uj^ain, 
 and receive an inviiaiioii froiu every 
 broker lo inspect his lepos lory. To 
 determine the first \\a;;er, lie assumed 
 the appearance of a tax-i^atlieier, with 
 his morocco book open in his left 
 hand, in his ri;;;iit a pen, and an iuk 
 bottle su5|)ended at his left breast; 
 rare and uncommon as is the appear- 
 ance of such a character in Eii<;lai.d, 
 and curious as John Bull confessedly 
 is, yet was he shunned like one in- 
 fected, and the waiter won by him 
 beyond dispute. He then assumed 
 his own dress and character, and s;il- 
 lying throuirh the row with a young 
 lady under his arm, his atlen'ioiis to 
 whom bespoke a recent or intended 
 trip to the altar, he received rather a 
 pressing invitation to walk in, froni 
 every " hero of the chi|s," and the 
 wager was again deterniuied m his 
 favor. 
 
 A King and a Postilion. 
 
 A CERTAIN monarch having 
 been greatly annoyed hv allusions to 
 his origin, has asked, What is the dif- 
 ference between a king and a posti- 
 lion ? 
 
 A king takes precedence of all those 
 with whom he associates — So does a 
 posfilion. 
 
 Much depends upon a king's being 
 firmly established on his seat — So it 
 does with a postilion. 
 
 The renown of a king spreads from 
 pole to pole — So it does with that of 
 a postilion. 
 
 A king's power is not'. confined to 
 land, but stretches over the muin— 
 So doev the power of a postilion. 
 
 A king appoints or rejects uia\'rs 
 — So does a pf>'(ilion. 
 
 A king sonx ?imo^ mounts, some- 
 linjps goes down hid— So does a 
 postiiinn. 
 
 A king (of Great Britain for ex- 
 ample) is obliiied to r< ceive addresses 
 from the Liven/ — So is a |>(.s(i;ion. 
 
 A kin? liirely moves witliout an 
 Eguiijap^e — Neither does a postilion. 
 
 Tue state of a king closely ap- 
 proaches the Imperial — So does that 
 of a postilion. 
 
 The E^iecutive Authority is vested 
 in a kins:^ — So is it m a postilion 
 
 Much of the king's happin<ss de- 
 pends on the proper alloti.nnt of 
 posts—So does that of a posiilion. 
 
 A king i-i constantly occupied in 
 reis^ning — So is a postilion. 
 
 in fine, kings are sometmies over- 
 thrown—So alas ! are poatilions. 
 
 Epitaph on a Miser. 
 
 HERE lies one who for medicines would 
 no! giv.-, 
 A little gold, and pohis life he lost ; 
 I fa.;fy uow he'd wi>-ii as^ain (o live, 
 Could lie but guess how much his funeral 
 cogt. 
 
 Punif-hment for Adultery. 
 
 FORMERLY in Germany the hus- 
 band of an adultress was allowed to 
 as>enible her relations, and in their 
 presence cut off her hair, strip her 
 naked, turn her out of his house, and 
 whip her from one end of the villrige 
 to the Either. A woman thus publicly 
 •xposed could never wipe away the 
 stidn of so foul an infamy: t!ie mo.st 
 circmnspect behaviour could never call 
 back her lost ciiaracter; nor coul! any 
 motive ever prevad on another to Oii^r- 
 ry her, though youth, beauiv, an;i 
 fortune, with every other advantage 
 combined to allure hiuj. 
 
 Alexander's Hi^tort; of vyomen, 
 
 A a
 
 178 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 How d'-y''do and Good-bye, 
 
 ONE day Good-bye met How-d'-y'-do, 
 
 Too close to shun saluting ; 
 But soon the Rival Sisters flew. 
 
 From kissing to disputing. 
 
 Away — says How-d'-y'-do — your mien, 
 
 Appals my cheerful nature; 
 No name so sad as yours is seen, 
 
 In Sorrow's nomenclature. 
 
 Whene'er I give onesnnshine hour, 
 Your cloud comes o'er to shade it ; 
 
 Where'er I plant one bosom flower, 
 Your mildew drops to fade it. 
 
 Ere How'd'-y'-do has tnned each tongue, 
 
 To Hope's delightful measure; 
 Good-bye in Friendship's ear has rung, 
 
 The knell of parting pleasure. 
 
 From sorrows past my chemic skill. 
 
 Draws smiles of consolation ; 
 While you from present joys distil, 
 
 The tears of separation. 
 
 Good-bje replied — " Yourstatement'strne, 
 And well your case you've pleaded; 
 
 But pray who'd think of How-d'-y'-do, 
 Unless Good -bye preceded ? 
 
 *' Without my prior influence. 
 
 Could your's have ever flourished ; 
 
 And can your hand one hour dispense, 
 But those my tears have nourish'd ? 
 
 " How oft, if,at the Court of Love, 
 
 Concealment be the fashion ; 
 When How-d'-y'-do has failed to move. 
 
 Good-bye reveals the passion ! 
 
 "How oft, when Cupid's fires decline. 
 
 As every heart remembers ; 
 One sigh of mine, and only mine, 
 
 Revives the dying embers ! 
 
 " Go bid the timid Lover chiise, 
 
 And I'll resign my charter; 
 If he for fen kind Hovv-d'-y'-do's, 
 
 One kind Good-bye would barter, 
 
 "From Love and Friendship's kindred source 
 
 We both derive exi.'^teijf e ; 
 And they would both hise half their force, 
 
 Witi'.out our kind assistance. 
 
 " -Tis wel! the World our merit knows, 
 Since time, there's no denyi;ig ; 
 
 One half in How-d'-y'-doing goes, 
 And t'other in Good-byeing.'' 
 
 On an old fVcman, ivho ivore falfie Hair. 
 
 "I'HE Golden Hair that Galla wears, 
 Is her's, who would have thought it ' 
 
 She swears 'tishpr's — and true she swears. 
 For I know where she bought it. 
 
 Address to M. Pofito, on seeing his Grand 
 Menagerie of iVild Beasts and Birds. 
 
 POLITO, thou wondrouscoUectorof Nature, 
 Thou Noah the second for each curious 
 
 Creature ; 
 That wonder produces or money procures. 
 Or lib'ra! industry's best wishes secures — 
 Accept my best thanks for the charming 
 
 delight 
 You've afforded us all, by the exquisite 
 
 sight 
 Of your beautiful Lioness, whelp'd in the 
 
 Tower ; 
 Of the Lion, on which I could gaze for an 
 
 hour, 
 And its step-danie, the Pointer, wben first 
 
 I cast eye on't, 
 Appear'd like a Fairy-Queen suckling a 
 
 Giant ; 
 But your non-descript Sloth is more carious 
 
 than all. 
 Which capers, and rolls itself into a ball, 
 " Nigroque simillima cygno," you know. 
 If you wish'd, or had any thing vvondrous 
 
 to shew. 
 Was aproverb so trite, till your Black Swans 
 
 were seen, 
 That, in truth, we as well might be told 
 
 they vv'ere green ; 
 Your Tyger, your Leopards, and each 
 
 mountain monster. 
 Would take us at lea^t a whole twelvemonth 
 
 to construe; 
 The fam'd Kangaroos your collection may 
 
 boast, 
 With the Grand Cassowary, from Java's 
 
 hot coast ; 
 From the Men of the Wood, so gigantic'ly 
 
 tall. 
 To the beauteous Sangin, delectably small ; 
 The Beaver, the Ounce, with a hundred 
 
 things more. 
 Which add to your credit as well as your 
 
 store; 
 The Pelican strange, with so wondrous a 
 
 crop, 
 That 'twould hold as much fish as a fishmon- 
 ger's shop. 
 Your Birds shew in colours like rays of the 
 
 Sun, 
 Your laughable Monkeys all mischief and 
 
 f n n ; 
 Each domestic so civil, each place so secure. 
 So polite., you're I'oLiTO himself, I ambure. 
 
 On an Infidel married to a Shrew. 
 
 SWOL'N wi(h vanity, looking wond'rous 
 
 wise, 
 ' Tiiare is nor heaven or hell," poor Fretful 
 
 cries ; 
 To agree with him T cannot be so civi!, 
 Eiis home's a hell, his wife's the very devil.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, &;c. 1 79 
 
 Memoirs and Anecdotes of the extra- 
 ordinary Thomas Britton, the 
 Musical Small-Coal-Man. 
 
 THIS extrordinary person bound 
 himself, and served seven years, to a 
 small-coal man in St. John's-street. 
 After which his master gave him a 
 sum of money, and Tom went back- 
 to his native place, Highani-Ferrers, 
 in Northamptonshire. When he had 
 spent his money, he returned to Lon- 
 don, and set up the small-coal trade, 
 notwithstanding his master was still 
 living, and took a stable, which he 
 converted into a house; mentioned 
 hereafter. Some time after he became 
 an excellent chemist, and, perhaps, 
 performed such things in that profes- 
 sion, as had never been done befoie, 
 by the help of a moving elaboratory, 
 that was contrived and built by him- 
 self, and much admired by the faculty. 
 He was also famous for his skill in the 
 theory and practice of music; and 
 kept up for near forty years in his own 
 little cell, a musical club, which was 
 nothing less than a concert, and me- 
 rits our attention the more, as it was 
 the first meeting of the kind, and the 
 undoubted parent of some of the most 
 celebrated concerts in London. Its 
 oiigin was from Sir Roger L' E-trange: 
 and this attachment of Sir Roger, and 
 other ingenious gentlemen, arose from 
 the profound regard that Brition had, 
 in general, to all literature. The hu- 
 mility of his deportment procured 
 him great respect ; he was called, 
 thuugh so low in station, Mr. Brit- 
 ton : and men of the best wit, as well 
 as some of the best qualily, honoured 
 his musical society with their com- 
 pany. When pas,ing the streets in 
 his blue linen frock, ami with his sacK 
 of small-coal on his back, he was fre- 
 quently accosted with, " There goes 
 the small-coal man who is a lover 
 of learning, a peiforn)er of music, 
 and a companion foi gentlemen." 
 
 Hritton's house was next lo ihc old 
 Jerusalem tavern, under the gateway. 
 
 On the ground-floor was a repository 
 for small-coal; over that was the 
 conceit room, which was very long 
 and narrow ; and had a ceiling so 
 low, that tall men could but just 
 stand upright in it. The stairs lo 
 this room were on the outside of the 
 house, and could scarce be ascended 
 without crawling. The house itself 
 was very old, low built, and, in every 
 respect so mean, as to be a fit habita- 
 tion far only a very poor man. Not- 
 wiihstanding all, this mansion, despic- 
 able as it may seem, attracted to it as 
 polite an audience as ever the Opera 
 did. And a lady of rank, one of the 
 first beauties of her time, in the 
 pleasure which she manifested at 
 hearing Mr. B.'s concert, seemed to 
 have forgot the difficulty with which 
 she ascended the steps that led to it. 
 At these concerts, Dr. Fepusch, 
 and frequently Mr. Handel, played 
 the harpsichord ; Mr. Bannister the 
 first violin. Dubourg, then a child, 
 played his first solo at Britton's con- 
 cert, standing upon a joint-stool, but 
 so terribly awed at the sight of so 
 splendid an assembly, that he was 
 near falling to the ground. 
 
 It has been said, that Britton found 
 instruments, and that the subscription 
 to his concert was ten shillings a year, 
 and that the)' had coftee at a penny a 
 dish. If so, Britton had departed 
 from his original institution ; for, at 
 first, no cot^ee was drank there, nor 
 would he leceive any gratuity from 
 any of his guests; on the contrary, he 
 was oflx?nded whenever it was offered 
 to him. The following stanza of a 
 song, written by Ward, in praise of 
 Britton, seems to confirm it : 
 
 UPON ThursdayV repair 
 
 To my palacp, and ttiere, 
 
 Hobl)le lip «(airby stair; 
 
 Kut I pray ye take care. 
 That you break not your stiias by a stumble. 
 
 And witliout e'er a .souse. 
 
 Paid tome or my spouse, 
 
 t?it as siill a^a mouse, 
 
 At the toj) of the liouse. 
 And there you shall iiear how we furubie* 
 A a 2
 
 180 lAlerary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 As to his own rfal skill in music, 
 it is not to be doubted : it is certain 
 he could tune a harpsichord; and lie 
 frequently played the viol de ganiba 
 in his own concert. 
 
 Britlon wa*; in his person a short 
 thick-set man, with a very honest in- 
 genuous countenance. 'I here are 
 two [iicruiss of him exiant, both 
 painted by his fnend Mr. VVollaston 
 It hap|)enefl thus: Britton had been 
 out one morning, and having neaily 
 emptied his sack in a shorter time than 
 he expected, had a mind to see hi^ 
 friend Mr. VVollaston, but having 
 always considered himself in two 
 capacities, viz. as one who subsisted 
 by a veiy mean occupation, iind as a 
 companion for persons in a station oi 
 life above liim, he could not con- 
 sistent with this distinction, drest as 
 he tlien was, make a visit ; he there- 
 fore in his way home, varied his 
 Usual round, and passing through 
 ^Varwick lane, determined to cry 
 small-coal so near Mr. VVollaston's 
 door, as to stand a chance to be in- 
 vited in. Accordingly he had no 
 sooner turned into Warwick-cuurt, 
 find cried small-coal in his usual tone, 
 than Mr. W'ollastor, who had never 
 heard him there befoie, flni,g up the 
 sash and beckoned him in. Mr. 
 Wollasion intimated a desire to draw 
 his picture, which be consented to, 
 and he wa-^ painted in his blue frock 
 and with his small coal measure in 
 his hand. 
 
 This extraordinary man vi'as also 
 well skilled in ancient books and ma- 
 nusciipts, and much esteemed by the 
 llien collectors. While the earls of 
 Oxfoid, Sunderland. Whinchelsca, 
 Pembroke, duke of Devonshire, &c 
 who had a passion for collecting old 
 books and nuinusciipt'^, weie assem- 
 bled at Batcman's shop, in I'alernos- 
 tei-Row, on ISatuidays about twelve 
 o'clock. Button would arrive in his 
 blue frock, and pitching bis sack on 
 Balcroan's bulk, would go in aiidj<in 
 
 them in conversation, which generally 
 lasted an hour. 
 
 The singularity of his character 
 induced various suspicions. Some 
 thought his musical assembly a cover 
 for seditious meetings; others for ma- 
 gical purposes. Biilton himself was 
 t-^ken for an Atheist, a Ptesbylerian, 
 ai d a Jesuit; but he was peifectly in- 
 offensive, and highly esteemed by all 
 uho knew him. 
 
 The circumstances of his death are 
 not less remarkable than those of his 
 life. One Hoiieyman, a blacksmith, 
 had become famous for the faculty of 
 sp(>aking without opening his lips ; by 
 which art the voice seemed to pro- 
 ceed from some distant part of the 
 hou'-e. The pranks played by this 
 man were infinite. — The famous Dr. 
 Sackvi-ell, though a large man, and 
 one of the stoutest and most athletic 
 then living, was almost terrified into 
 fits by him in his own house, sur- 
 rounded by friends ; into which Ho- 
 neyman, called " the talking smith," 
 got himself introduced, by pretending 
 that he came from a couple who 
 wished to be married by the doctor. 
 — Mr. Robe, a justice of peace in 
 Clcrkenuell, who played frequently 
 at I^rittor.'s concert, was wicked 
 enough to introduce Honeyman, un- 
 known to Britton, for the sole purpose 
 of terrifying him, and he succeeded 
 in it. Honeyman, without moving 
 his lips, or seeming to speak, an- 
 nounced as from afar off, the death 
 of poor Britton within a few hours; 
 with an intimation, that the only way 
 to avert this doom was, for him to 
 fall on his knees and to say the Lord's 
 prayer. Biitttm did as he was bid, 
 went home, took to his bed, and in 
 a few days died; leaving his friend, 
 Mr. Robe, to enjoy the fruits of his 
 mirth. He died in the month of Sep- 
 tember, 1714; leaving little besides 
 a considerable library *if books, with 
 a lar'je collcctit-n of manuscripts and 
 ;)iinled music.
 
 Interesiinoc Narralkes, Enigmas^ F.pitf-rams^ Poeln/, S^x. 181 
 
 Demoniacal Interference. 
 ON a journey from Baroche to 
 Dliiibov, !^?i• K'ubes stopped at Nit; 
 rah, a hirye ruined town, which hc(i 
 been plunrti^red a^id bnrnt by the 
 Misiiniltas. The j)riiji;ip;!l hoii^e, 
 had btlonged to tn opnleat man, who 
 eniis>r;ited during llw war, hik! died in 
 a dtsi-.i)t coimnv. ^n■. Fmbes was 
 privafelj iiifrnied that ui.der one cf 
 ihe towers 'iierr was a secret ceii, 
 fiirnied li> coitaiu Ids treasure ; t.he \n- 
 fornwtioti con d n t be doui^ted, b - 
 cause it cume fiojn the mason wIjo 
 constructed the ce!'. Acc(.idini.'l\ 
 the man at-c nipanied Isirn throni;h s^ 
 verui spacious courts and apartnieiits, 
 to a dark closet in a tower; the room 
 was ubont eiiilit feet square, bein^ the 
 whole s!Z(- of the interior "-i the tower; 
 and it was some stories above liie 
 place wheti the trea>iire was said to 
 be depo>ift d. In the floor there was 
 a hoh» larije ei:.)U';h for a slender per- 
 son to pa.'-s thruugh ; thev esKariicd it 
 and -enf down tv^o nun by a ladder 
 After descending several feet, tlie\ 
 came to another fioor, co'"posed i:i 
 like manner of bricks and cliunam 
 and here also was a similar aperture 
 This also was enlarged, torcises wen 
 procured, and by their liglit iN.'r. 
 Forbes perceived from the upper 
 apartment a dungeon of great depth 
 below, as the mason bad described. 
 He desired the men to descend and 
 search for the tieasure ; but they re 
 fused, declaring that wherever tnoney 
 was concealed in Hindostan, there was 
 always a demon,, in the shape of a 
 serpent, to gnard it. He laughed at 
 their su;?eis{ition, and repeated his 
 orders in such a manner as to enforce 
 obedience, fliongh his attendants sym- 
 pathised with the men, and seemed to 
 expect the event with more of fear 
 and Hwe than of curiosity. The lad- 
 der was too short to reach the dun- 
 geon, strong ropes tlierefore were sent 
 for, and more torches. The men re- 
 
 iuciapliy obeyed, and as they were 
 lnwere<), tlie dark sides and the inoist 
 ti.KM of the duiiiieon were distingiiish- 
 dv by the light which they carried in 
 their hands. But tliey had not been 
 many secords on tl-e ground before 
 tiiey screamed out that tiiey were en- 
 '-i'i'^ed wit!) a large s:,;>k<-. In spife 
 "f their screams, ''r ' > rbes wus in- 
 f-^ednlous, and dicI.Mf I that the ropes 
 iliou'd not be W '.:>wn to them till 
 <ie had seen the i r« ature; tlieir cries 
 were dreacifui; li« l'<-\vever was in- 
 flexible ; and the Ui>|.er lights were 
 held steaf'siiy, to gjve hiip, as distinct 
 a view as possible into the dungeon^ 
 There he perceived something like 
 ijiilcts of w od, or lalher, lie say?, 
 like a ship's cable seen fnmi the deck, 
 toiled uj) in a dark hold; but no lan- 
 guage can express his sensation of 
 dstonishnsent and teiror, when he saw 
 a serprnt actiraily rear his head, over 
 an nnnicnse lergth of bo<ly, coiled in 
 volumes on the ground, and working 
 itself into exertion by a sort of slug- 
 gish nio!i(»n. "What I felt," he con- 
 tmui's, " on seeing (wo fellow-crea- 
 tures exposed by my orders to this 
 fiend, I must leave to the reader's 
 nnagiiiation " To his inexpressible 
 jov tlie^y uere drawn up unhurt, but 
 aiuioit lifeless with fear. Hay was 
 then thrown down upt>n tlie lighted 
 torches widcli they had dropped.-— 
 VViien the tlames had exp-ired, a laige 
 snake was found scojched and dead, 
 but no money. Mr Forbes supposes 
 that tlie owiser had carried away t!ie 
 treasure '.villi him, but forgotten to 
 liberate the snake which he had placed 
 there as its keeper. Whetlxr the 
 snake were venomous or not, he has 
 omitte<i to mention, or perhaps to ob- 
 serve; if he were not, it would be no 
 defence for the treasure; and if it 
 were, it seems to have become too 
 torpid wilh inanition, confinement and 
 darkness, to e.\etcise ils j)owers (if de- 
 struction. Where the p ipular belief 
 prevails that &n;;kes aie liie guardians
 
 189 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs^ Wonderful E-oeuts^ 
 
 of hidden treasure, and where the art 
 of charmiiii^ serpents is comuKinly 
 practised, liicro is no dilMeiilty in sup- 
 posinii; that they who conceal a trea- 
 sure (as is frequently done nnder the 
 oppressive government: of tlie East) 
 would sometimes place it under such 
 protection. 
 
 An Hindoo's Repli/ to fin Englis'iman 
 for his neglect in Religion. 
 
 MR. FORBES says he almost en- 
 vied the Hindoos the |>Ie;!siires which 
 tlsey enjoyed in t!ie performance of 
 their religious duties, and tiie delight 
 of social worship; for during four 
 years he was deprived of all the or- 
 dinances of Chii^'tianity. They often 
 asked him this question, " ftlasler, 
 when an Englishunni dies, does he 
 think he shall go to his God ?" and 
 the remark upon his answer was usu- 
 ally to this effect --"Your country- 
 men, master, seem to take very little 
 trouble about that business — the Hin- 
 doo?, the Mahomedans, the Parsees, 
 the Roman Catholic Christians, all 
 perform the ceremoisies of their reli- 
 gion: the English alone appear un- 
 concerned about snch things." Mr. 
 Forbes, to his astonishment, fell under 
 aiT iuiputation of a very different kind. 
 When he had been about two years at 
 Dhuboy, a rumour prevailed that he 
 worshipped the devil, or at least that 
 he performed ceremonies, and paid 
 ionse kind of adoration to the evil 
 principle — and the rinnour was traced 
 t<» his own servnits. The mystery 
 was soon explained: he liad frequently 
 pea-fowl at liis table; the gizzard was, 
 in EnL'iish fisshion, sent from the table 
 to bo broiled and seasoned, and when 
 it was returned thus bedeiilted, and 
 tiie guest took a glass of wine after it, 
 the servant, who was a stranger to the 
 m^r.neis, customs, and !angua<;e of the 
 master, and understood noliiing bui 
 the name, ndually beiieved tiuit this 
 was a sutrilice performed to li:e divil 
 iiimstlf. 
 
 Mii^ery in a Farm- House. 
 
 SEVEN ragged children round llie embers 
 
 sat, 
 A sickly wife, a ha!f-sfarv'd fiog and cat ; 
 Of Qiangy horses there were half a score. 
 Which scarce could loiter from the stable 
 
 door; 
 A wheaNrich small, on four sfone-staddles 
 
 propp'd, 
 A clover rick, from which the head was 
 
 lopp'd. 
 Supported on one side by two elm boughs, 
 Co mates with those which prop the shat- 
 
 ter'd house. 
 
 Epigram. 
 
 A PLACE under government, 
 Was all that Paddy wanted: 
 
 He married soon a scolding wife, 
 M'hen all he wish'd was granted. 
 
 Sir Francis Burdett's Grandmother, 
 
 IT is related that the grandfather 
 of Sir Francis Burdett was in the com- 
 mission of t!)e peace, and resided at 
 Foremark, in Derbyshire, that his wife 
 was much pleased and amused by sit- 
 ting on the bench, anfl hearing the 
 justice business ; but that she always 
 retired whenever a case came on to 
 be heard calculated to shock the ears 
 of discretion. A fellow of more wit 
 than prudence, it appears, often oc- 
 casioned the departure of the lady 
 justice, being charged six or seven 
 times a year, at least, with incirasing 
 the population without deference to 
 the service of matrimony, and as it 
 was necessary to go into the detail, 
 his apj)earance v.'as always a signal for 
 Lady Burdett's retreat. On one of 
 these occasions she met him at the 
 door, and seeing him rather dejected, 
 said "Ah, Charlton, what here again]" 
 "Yes, my lafly," replied the fellow; 
 " and for the old offence." " Fie, fie, 
 upon yon," replied her ladyship, " fie 
 upon you, Charlton, why won't you 
 leave the maids alrne, why don't you 
 sec and get a wife." " So I do sonic- 
 tiuies, my lady," said Charlton; " but 
 then ike hmbands make such a 
 "Other."
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, 8fc. 183 
 
 Mary, the Maid of the Inn. 
 
 WHO is the poor Maniac, whose wildlj - 
 fix'd eyes 
 
 Seem a heart overcbarg^'d to express' 
 She weeps not yet often and deeply she sighs 
 She never complains, but her silence implies 
 
 The composure of settled distress. 
 
 No aid, no compassion the Maniac will seek, 
 
 Cold acd hunger awake cot her care; 
 Through her rags do the wiudsof the winter 
 
 blow bleak, 
 On Iier poor wither'd bosom half bare, and 
 her cheek 
 Has the deathy pale hue of despair. 
 
 Yet cbeerfaland happy, nor distant the day, 
 Poor Mary the .Maniac has been; 
 
 The trav'ller remembers who journied this 
 way, 
 
 Xo damsel so lovely, no damsel so gay, 
 As Mary the Maid of (he Inn. 
 
 Her cheerful address fill'd the guests with 
 delight 
 Asshe welcom'd them in with a smile: 
 Her heart was a stranger to childish aifright, 
 And Mary could walk by the Abbey at nislit 
 When tlie wind whistled down the dark 
 aisle. 
 
 She loved, and young Richard had settled 
 the day, 
 .4nd she hoj)ed to be happy for life; 
 But Richard was idle and worthless, a^d 
 
 they 
 Who knew him, would pity poor Mary, atid 
 say 
 That she was too good for his wife. 
 
 'Twas in autumn, and stormy and dark was 
 the night. 
 And fiist were the windows and doar; 
 Two guests sat enjoying the f.re that burnt 
 
 bright, 
 And smoking in silence, with tranquil 
 delight, 
 They listen'd to hear the wind roar. 
 
 ' Tis pleasant,' cried one, ' seated by the 
 fire-side, 
 To hear the wind whistle without.' 
 ^A fine night for the Abbey !' his comr.';de 
 
 replied, 
 ' Methinksa man's spirit would now be well 
 tried, 
 Who would wander the rains about. 
 
 ' I myself like a school-boy should tremble 
 to hear 
 The hoarse ivy shake over my head ; 
 And could fancy 1 saw, half persuaded by 
 
 fear. 
 Some ugly old Abbot's white spirit appear, 
 For this wind might awaiiea the dead.' 
 
 « 1-11 wager a dinner,' the other one cried, 
 ' That I^lary would venture there now.' 
 
 'Then wager and lose!' with a sgeer he 
 replied, 
 
 ' I'll warrant she'd fancy a ghost by her side, 
 ' And faint if she saw a while cow.' 
 
 'Will Mary this charge on her courage allow ' 
 His companion esclaim'd wilh a smile; 
 
 'I shall win, for 1 know she will venture 
 there now, 
 
 And earn a new bonnet by bringing a bnagh 
 From the eider that grows ia the aisle." 
 
 With fearless good humour did Mary comply 
 
 Aud her way to the Abbey she bent ; 
 The night it was dark, and the wind it was 
 
 high. 
 And as hollowly howling it swept through 
 the *ky, 
 She shiver'd with cold as she went. 
 
 O'er the path so well known still proceeded 
 the Maid, 
 Where the Abbey rose dim on the sight, 
 Through the gale-way she eater'd, she felt 
 
 not afraid, 
 Yet the ruins were lonely and wild, ani 
 their shade 
 Seem'd to deepen iLe gloom of the nigkt. 
 
 All around her was silent, save when tha 
 rude blast 
 Howl'd dismally round the old pile; 
 Over weed -covered fragments still fijarlesB 
 
 she past. 
 And arriv'd in the innermost ruin at last. 
 Where the elder tree grows in the aisle. 
 
 We'1-pJeas'd did she reach it, and quieklj 
 di-ev- rear, 
 And hnslily gailier'd a bough : 
 When the sound of a voice seem'd to ri«« 
 
 on her tar, 
 She paused, and she listen'd, all cage? lu 
 hear. 
 And her heart panted fearfully n©w. 
 
 Th? wind blew, tLe hoarse ivy shook over 
 . her head. 
 She listeud — nought else could she 'rear. 
 The wiud ceased, her lieart sunk in L*r 
 
 bosom with dreiid, 
 Fcr she heard in tin? ruins distinctly fhetre*! 
 Of footsteps approaching her near. 
 
 Behind a wide column, half breathless wit'.i 
 fear, 
 Fhe crept, to conceal herself there: 
 That inslasit the moon o'er a dark cIo<; i 
 
 shone clear. 
 And she "-aw in the moon-light two rulILi:;* 
 appe;:r. 
 And between them a corpse did the\ bias
 
 JS4 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, fVonderfuI Events, 
 
 Then Mary conld fi>el her 'jF.irt-blood curdle 
 cdid! 
 
 A^niii (he roi!2:ii ninJ hurried by, — 
 It l<!e^v off (he hai .if !he one, and behold! 
 Even clr>,<e (o th? Tt-et of poor Mary it roll'd, 
 
 — "^he f II aud expected to die. 
 
 'Curse the hat.' he exclaims: 'Nay com 
 on and fii-it hiUe 
 
 The dead i'ody,' his comrade replies. 
 She heheid ihi-m in safety pa- s on by hersid" 
 She "rizps tiie ha<, far htr ^ ur.iffesnpplieJ 
 
 And fast through (he Abbey she flies. 
 
 She ran with wild .speed, she rush'd in a! 
 the dotyr, 
 ^he g'azeil horrihiy eaj^er around. 
 Then her li'nhs eonid support tiieir fain' 
 
 burih- i. .-.c liore, 
 And exhar J y.\ijL breathless i-he .-nnii v.: 
 the !■ ■ .', 
 Unable to utter a sonnd. 
 
 Ere yet her pale li!)s could the RtoBy impart. 
 For a ni inier.t. the hat met h r view ; — 
 
 Her eyes from that object convulsively start. 
 
 For— O Gnd, what cold horror then thrilj'd 
 through her lieart. 
 When tise name of her Richard she knevT ! 
 
 Where the old Abbey stands, on the commGi: 
 i.'ar.l by 
 His gib'iet is row to be se^n : 
 Not far fiom (ha road it cnsrages (he eye, 
 The traveller behoids it, and thinks with a 
 s'gh 
 Of poor Mary the .IJaid of the Ian. 
 
 From Murray's Lectures. 
 
 ONE Squirt's wi»s per.siiiuled b\ 
 Walpoic, lie Ennlish .j?snit, to ;it- 
 tfiDut \o kill Quten Eliznbeth ; he 
 to!<{ \\\m it nii<:lit esisiiy be clone h\ 
 poisonisi!^ the jjfjuiMiel of her Sitidie 
 lie received I lie prie.st's blessing ain: 
 Jl'.e promise of eterna! salvation ; ami 
 Dffe! he had sworn to secrecv, lie/vas 
 fceiit lo Fji^liitid, where he was taken, 
 ro'.fesseii Ihe blc.ody aud villanons de- 
 sign, aiid was exfcuicd in 15^)8. 
 
 Drnmitic IVonder. 
 
 \TII!TT'' .s'lnr.oxs one night wasattractinp 
 
 each e;ir, 
 S'nnio thnnifht-an Attorney was see; 
 
 sbt'i! a tear ! 
 *' Then wbich to prefer" — cried a Critic — 
 
 " 1 ill loth, 
 *' For it must have been capital acting in 
 
 Loth.'' 
 
 Custorii.s of different !\atio7is. 
 
 THE!IE is notliin<j so viie or re- 
 pugnant to n dure but \ou mny plead 
 pre''crip!!oii for it, in the customs of 
 Some nation or other. A Parisian 
 likes inn'ti<ied fie- It. — A native of 
 Le^'il/oli w'll not taste his flesh lil! it is 
 qu'te pn'riied. — Tiie civilized inhabi- 
 lanl.s of Ki-iin.li ii;ttka jjet drunk m itii 
 the urine of their guests, vvh.oni they 
 'J we already intoxicated. — The Nova 
 Zviubi; Its make merry on train oi', — 
 '''if Greeiilanders eat in the same <tish 
 •^viili llieir dogs. — A true bred Frtnch- 
 ..'lan di))s his fintrers imbiowned witii 
 - Mif}' into his jilafe, filled with ragout; 
 between every three mouthfuls he pro- 
 ares his snu/F box, and takes a fresh 
 '•(•!), «it!i the most giaceful geslicu- 
 -iUcns; then he produces his handker- 
 ;iiief, which m:^y be termed the flag 
 of abo)ninulion, and in the use of 
 both, scailers his favours among those 
 who iiave the happiness to sst near 
 liini. — A French lndy will un<lress her- 
 self j.i the prcseiice of h male visitant, 
 and talk lo him of her lavement, her 
 ntedicine, and her bidet. An Italian 
 Signora makes no scruple of telling 
 you, she is such a day to begin a 
 course of physic for a certain disease. 
 — 'Ihe Tartars sit upon their meat, in 
 order to cook it for eating, u-.ing no 
 'itiicr heat but that of their ov.'n bo- 
 dies. — \ Chinese, when bis wife is 
 oregnant, takes to the same bed, re- 
 mains their until her accouchment is 
 over, and is hd with caudle. — Gen- 
 toos, when they drink, avoid touch- 
 ing tile vessel with their lips that con- 
 tains the lifjuor, tliey pour it into 
 their mouths, holding the vessel at 
 least a foot distance. Drakes Travels. 
 
 French Error. 
 
 DURING the cry of " Goold, 
 Goold" (the name of the managPi) 
 at the Opsia House, one night, a 
 Frenchman in the gallery ohserved, 
 " Dese Engliih be ever crying for 
 tie mvnei/,"
 
 Interesting Narrathes, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, SiC. 185 
 
 THE VICTIM OF SEDUCTION; 
 A Parody. 
 
 PITY the sorrows of a sad Impure, 
 
 Whoae daysorj>ieagure are for evps- down; 
 
 Wlio cannof long her miseries endure — 
 One moment fancy all her griefs your 
 own ! 
 
 These wretched rags my poverty disclose, 
 No other garb has dyinof Nancy got — 
 
 My care-Nvorn vis.ige indicates my woes ; 
 My haggard frame bespeaks my frii;ndlL'ss 
 lot. 
 
 To yonder cottage, deck'd with woodbines 
 round, 
 
 In former dajs how cheerfully I went ! 
 Eliza's smiles to welcome ine I fouiid, 
 
 With her my every hour was gaily spent. 
 
 Hard is the fortune of the vicions poor! 
 
 Here as I begg'd a shelter from the cold. 
 My lov'd companion turn'd me from the 
 door. 
 
 And cali'd me saucy, impudent, and bold. 
 
 take me to your menial's humblest fire, 
 To warm my limbs and rest my weary 
 
 bones ! 
 A liltle bread is all my heart's desire, 
 
 Cheer'd with the music of the cricket's, 
 tones. 
 
 If charity could from your hearts distil 
 That heavenly sense to feel for other's 
 woe — 
 My tale your breasts with sympathy will 
 fill. 
 And kind, commiserating tears will flow, 
 
 My earlier years in rapture rolled along: 
 With spotless innocence I haii'd each day ; 
 
 And cheerfnl jcin'd the blithe and giddy 
 throng — 
 Ah .' Nancy then was gayest of the gay ! 
 
 Artless myself, I thought my blissful smiles 
 And tranquil mind, but with my life 
 could cease : 
 
 But Man, vile man, with tieach'rons wiles, 
 Robb'd meof honor, happiness, and peace. 
 
 T o cruel Henry, dress'd in love's soft gni=e, 
 (For ever blasted be the traitor s uamei; 
 
 1 fell an hapless ui suspicious prize. 
 
 Prey to remorse, to frailty, and to shame, 
 
 My hoary .Sire, by just resentment led. 
 By passion urg'd,and feelings most acute. 
 
 Drove me from home to seek my guilty l)read, 
 And 1 became a wretched Prostitute. 
 
 Heart-broken soon he sunk beneath his woes 
 Sorely lamenting his severe decree : 
 
 jMy mother too, bereft of all repose, 
 Soon died— and left this wicked world 
 to me. 
 
 Pity the sorrows of a sad Impure, 
 
 Whose days of pleasure are for ever flown ; 
 
 Who cannot long her miseries endure — 
 One moment fancy all her griefs your 
 own ! 
 
 Mother Cre swell. 
 
 MOTHER CRESWELL \vas one 
 of (he many mothers, who flourished, 
 or rather decayed in the reign of 
 Charges II. By will she left ten poupds 
 for a sernjon to be preached at her 
 funeral, on condition that the preacher 
 said nothing but what was tvell of her. 
 He, after a sermon on the general 
 subject of mortahty, and the good 
 uses to be made of it, concluded with 
 savin;^ — *• By the will of the deceased, 
 it is expected that I should mention 
 her, and say nothing but is ivellof her. 
 All that I shall say of her, therefore, 
 's this; — she Was born well, she lived 
 well, and she died ivell ; for she was 
 born with the name of Cres-well, she 
 lived ill C!erken-2^e//, and she died ia 
 Utide-well." 
 
 JBigotri/. 
 
 WHEN Bish(;p Thomas was chap- 
 lain to the Brilish factory at Ham- 
 burgh, a gentleman of the factory 
 beini,' ill, was ordered into the country 
 fur the benefit of the air: accordingly 
 he went into a village about fen miles 
 distant, but after some time died 
 there, upon this, application was made 
 to the parson of the parish for leave 
 to bury him in the cluirch-yard ; the 
 parson incjuired of what religion he 
 was, and was told he was a Caivniist. 
 " No," says he ; " there are no .e but 
 Lutherans in my ciuiich-jard, aid 
 there shall be no other" "This," 
 says Dr Thomas, " was told me, and 
 I wondered I hat any man of learning 
 or understanding should have such 
 ideas: I resolved to take my horse, 
 and go and argue the matter wita him, 
 mt found him inflexible; at length I 
 Bb '
 
 186 IJterary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 told liiin he made me think of a cir- 
 cumstance which once happened t:- 
 myself, when I was curate of a churc 
 in Thames Street: I was burvin;; ; 
 corpse, and a woman came and pulid 
 tne by the sleeve, in the midst of th 
 service — " Sir, Sir ! I want to speak 
 to you!" — " Pr'jthee," says I, " wo- 
 man, wait till I have done." — " No, 
 Sir, I must speak to you imniediate'y !" 
 " Why then, vihat is the matter?"— 
 " Why, Sir " says she, "you are bury- 
 ing a man, who died of the small- 
 pox, next mv poor husband, who never 
 had it !" Tliis story had the desired 
 efiect, and the curate permitted the 
 bones of the poor Cah inist to be luid 
 in his church-yard." 
 
 Singular Contrast. 
 
 IN the spring season at Bath, in the 
 year 176O, subscription books were 
 opened for prayers at the Abbey, and 
 gaming at the Rooms. At the close 
 of the first day, the number of sub- 
 scribers for prayers were twelve, and 
 for gaming sixty-seven. 
 
 The following was written in conse- 
 quence : 
 
 T!ie church and rooms the other day, 
 Oppned their haiy.sn lor prayer and play : 
 The priest got twelve, Hoyle sixty-seven ; 
 How great the odds for hell 'gainst heaven ! 
 
 Pilce. 
 
 AT Lord Gower's cand vil Trcnt- 
 hiini, a pike seized the head oi" a swan, 
 as she was feeding under water, anil 
 gorged so much as killed iheiu both ; 
 the longevity of this iish is very re- 
 m irkable. Gesncr relates, that in the 
 \evir 1497, a pike was taken near 
 Hnilbrun in Suabia, with a brazen 
 riu'^ affixed to it, on which were these 
 w irds, in Grek cliriracters — " I am 
 the tish which was fast of all pu? into 
 this lake hy the hands of the Gover- 
 nor of the universe, Fiederick the II. 
 the 5lh October, )2J0. 
 
 British Zoology. 
 
 Parody on the Beggar's Petition. 
 
 '•''ITY the sorrows of a poor old MARE, 
 Whose (rtmblii'.g limhs scarce keep her 
 from tiie grouud ; 
 '•'hose wearied days are lengthen'd to de- 
 spair, 
 For I am lame aud wretchedly unsound. 
 
 This pierced .'•ivin my poverty betide, 
 
 Oh! once, alas! the sleekest of the stud; 
 
 Vnd many a fuirow in my epnr-worn side, 
 Has been the channel of a sea of blood. 
 
 Yon alehouse sign erec'ed near the wood, 
 With tempting aspect drew rae from the 
 road , 
 To shelter there — for "entertainment goad 
 For man and horse," was painted on the 
 board. 
 
 Hard is the fate of the infirm and poor I 
 Here as I crav'd a handful of their hay, 
 
 An ostler drove me from the stable-door. 
 To seek again my solitary way. 
 
 Oh ! take me to yon hovel's straw-built shed 
 Keen blows the wind and piercing is the 
 cold ; 
 
 Oh ! spare-some litter for a scanty bed, 
 For I am iame and miserably cold. 
 
 Should I reveal the sources of my pain. 
 How long I've borne oppression's direful 
 sway, 
 Your hand would not withhold some little 
 grain, 
 And I in hamble gratitude would neigh. 
 
 Myself descended from the noblest race. 
 Oft from Newmarket's course the palm 
 have borne 1 
 Or ran the foremost in the joyful chace. 
 When rous'd to action by the sprightly 
 born. 
 
 Hard riding makes the stoutest horse decline ; 
 
 Hard riding brought me to the state you 
 see ; 
 May your own horse's fate bene'er like mine 
 
 The foal of famine and of misery ! 
 
 Doom'd to draw sand. I labor'd thro' (heday, 
 With toil oppress'd, to earn my master's 
 bread ; 
 Then turn'd a-drift, this dreary waste to 
 
 stray, « 
 
 Unheeded and unhous'd, and worst of '-^ 
 all, unfed. 
 
 Blind Dobbin, late companion of my atfe, 
 (Oft did the cruel whip his c:ircase tiny) 
 
 Fell, stumbling fell, sad ^ ictim to blind r«ge, 
 And left the cart to cruelty and me. 
 
 Pity the sorrows of a poor old mare, (fee.
 
 Interestin»: Narrathes, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poelrv, &'c. J 87 
 
 Female Wit. 
 
 A YOUNG lady going into a bar- 
 rack-room at Foit Gc(Hge, saw an 
 officer toasting a slice of brtad on llie 
 point of hi*, sword. On which she 
 said, " I think, Sir, you have got the 
 staff of life on the point of death." 
 
 Neighbour Sly. 
 
 THE passing bell was heard to loll, 
 
 John wail'd his loss with oitter cries; 
 The Parson pray'd for Mary's soul. 
 The Sexton hid her from all eyes. 
 ' And art thou g'oae V 
 Cry'd wretched John, 
 
 ♦ O dear, ' twill kill ni?, lam dying!' 
 
 Cry'd Neighbour Sly, 
 While standing by, 
 ' Lord, how this world is given to lying !' 
 
 The throng retir'd — John left alone. 
 
 He meditated 'inong the forabs, 
 And speit out on the mould'ring stone, 
 What friends were gone to their long homes 
 ' You're gone before,' — 
 Cryd John — ' no more — 
 ' I shall come soon, I'm almost dying !' 
 Cry'd ueighbcur Sly, 
 Siill standing by, 
 ' Lord, how this wo.!d is given to lying I' 
 Here lies the bones — Heaven's will be done 
 Of farmer Siug;— reader wouldst thou 
 Jinow 
 Who to his memory rais'd this stone? 
 'Tvi'.TS his disconsolate widow. 
 Cry'd John, 'Oh ho! 
 ♦ To her I'il go— 
 ' Xo doubt with grief the widow's dying.' 
 Ci-y'd neighbour Sly, 
 i^till standing by, 
 ' Lord, bow this world is given to lying.' 
 Their mutual grief was short and sweet, 
 
 Scarcely the passing-bell had ceas'd. 
 When they were sped;— the funeral meat 
 Was warmed up for the marriage feast ! 
 '1 hey vow'd and swore, 
 Now o'er and o'er, 
 They ne'er would parttill both were dying; 
 Cry'd Neighbour Sly, 
 Still standing by, 
 
 * Lord, how this world is given to lying.' 
 Again to hear the passing-bell, 
 
 John now a kind of hankering feels ; 
 Again bis help-niafe brags how well, ' 
 She can trip np a husband's heels: 
 Agaifl to th' tomb, 
 liach4ongs to come, 
 Again with tears and sob-; and sighing, 
 For Ntiirlibour Sly, 
 Again to cry, 
 •■ Lord Low this world is given to lying!'' 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 ,THEO. Gibber, in company with 
 three other' Bon Vivants, made an 
 excursion. Theo. had a false set of 
 teeth — a second, a glass eye — a third 
 a cork leg — but the fourth had nothing 
 particular except a remarkable way 
 of shaking his head. They travellcil 
 in a post coach— and while at the 
 first stage, after each had made 
 merry with his neighbour's infirmity, 
 they agreed that at every baiting 
 place they would all affect the same 
 sinnulariiy. When they came to 
 breakfast, ihey were all to squint 
 — and as the countrymen stood gap- 
 ing round when they first alighted, 
 ",od rot it," cried one, " hnw that 
 man squints I" "Why dom thee," says 
 a second, "here be another squinting 
 fellow!" The third was thought to be 
 a better squintt'.r than the other two, 
 and the fourth better than all the 
 rest. In short, language cannot ex- 
 press how admirably they squinted 
 — f«r they went one degree beyond 
 the superlative. At dinner, they ap- 
 peared to have cork legs, and their 
 stumping about made more diversion 
 tnan they had done at breakfast. At 
 tea they were all deaf; but at supper, 
 which was at the Ship at Dover, each 
 man reassumed his character, the 
 better to play his part in a faice they 
 had concerted among them. AVhen 
 they were ready to go to bed. Gibber 
 called out to the waiter, — " Here, 
 you fellow, take out my teeth." 
 " Teeth Sir !'* said the man. " Aye, 
 teeth, sir. Unscrew that wire, and 
 they'll all come out together." After 
 some hesitation, the man did as he 
 was ordered. This was no sooner 
 pcrlornied than a second called out, 
 "Here you —take out my e\e!" 
 "Loid, sir," said the waiter, "your 
 eye!" "Yes, my eve. Gome here, 
 you stupid dog — pull up that eye-lid, 
 and it will come out as easy as 
 possible." 'ihis done, the third 
 B b2
 
 188 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 ^'lied out, "Here, you rascal — take 
 ^ff my leg." This he did with les^ 
 relucta\ice, being before apprised 
 that it was cork, and also conceived 
 that it would be his last job. He 
 was, however, mistaken. The fourth 
 watched his opportunity, and while 
 the frightened waiter was surveying, 
 with rueful countenance the eye, 
 teeth, and lep;, lying on the table 
 • — cried nut, in a frightful hollow 
 voice, " Come here, sir — take off my 
 head." Turning round, and seeing 
 the man's head slicking like that of a 
 mandarine upon a chimney-piece, he 
 darted out of the room — and after 
 tumbling headlong down stairs, he 
 ran about the house, swearing that 
 the gentlemen up stairs were certainly 
 all devils. 
 
 A Reckoning wiUi Time. 
 
 COME on, old rime' — nay, thai is staff; 
 Gaffer! tiiou com'«t on fast enough ; 
 
 Wing'd foe to fe.iiherM Cupid l 
 But, tell me, sand-man: ere thy grains 
 Have multiplied upon my brain,«, 
 
 Ho thick to make me stupid ; 
 
 Tell me, death's Journeyman! but no; 
 Hear tbou my speech; — I svill not grow 
 
 Trrev'rent while I try it; 
 For, though I mock thy (light, 'tis said. 
 Thy forelock fills me with such dread, 
 
 I — never take thee by it. 
 
 list, then, o]d—Ls,— JVas,~and—To-Be.' 
 I'll state accounts 'Iwixt tbee and me: — 
 
 Thou gav'st me, first, the measles; 
 "With teething would'st have ta'en me off; 
 Then, mad'st me with the hooping-cough. 
 
 Thinner than fifty weasels. 
 
 Thou gav'st small-pox, (the dragon, now, 
 That Jenner combats on a cow ;) 
 
 And, then, some seeds of knowledge; 
 Grains of grammar, which the flails 
 Of pedants thrash upon our tails, 
 
 To fit us for a college. 
 
 And, when at Christ Church, 'twas thy 
 
 sport 
 To.rack my brains, with sloe-juice port, 
 
 And lectures out of numbar: — 
 There Fresh-man folly quails, and sings. 
 While graduate dulness clogs thy wings, 
 
 With mathematic luaiber. 
 
 i'hy pinions, next, (which, while tliey wave 
 Fan all our birth- days to the'giave) 
 
 1 think, ere ii was prudent, 
 Balloon'd me, from iht; schools to town, 
 Where I was parachuted down, 
 
 A dapper Temple student. 
 
 Then much in dramas did I look ; 
 
 Much slighted thee, and great Lord Coke; 
 
 Congreve btat Blackslone hollow ; 
 Shakspeare made all the statutes stale, 
 And, in Hi!/ crown, no pleas bad Hale, 
 To supersede Apollo. 
 
 Ah, Time! those raging heats I find. 
 Were the mere dog-star of my mind : 
 
 How cool is retrospection ! 
 Youth's gaudy snmme]'-solstice o'er, 
 Experience yields a mellow store; 
 
 An autumn of reflection ! 
 
 Why did I let the god of song 
 
 Lure me from law, to join his throng, — 
 
 Guird by some slight applauses ? 
 What's verse to A wlien versus B? 
 Or what .lohn Ikill, a comedy. 
 
 To pleading John Bull's causes? 
 
 Bat, though my childhood felt disease, 
 Though my lank purse, unswolFa by fees. 
 
 Some ragged muse has netted, — 
 Slill, honest Chronos ! 'tis most true. 
 To thee, — (and, faith, to ottiers too !) 
 
 I'm very iuucb indebted : 
 
 For, thon hast made me gaily tough, 
 Inur'n me to each day that's rough, 
 
 In hopes of calm to-morrow ; 
 And when, old mower of us all, 
 Beneath thy sweeping scythe I fall, 
 
 Some FEW dear friends will sorrow. 
 
 Then, thongh my idle prose or rhyme. 
 Should half an ho'.ir outlive me. Time, 
 
 Pray bid the stone-engravers. 
 Where'er my bones find church-yard roonij 
 Simply to chisel on my tomb, 
 
 " Thank Time for all his favors!" 
 
 I 
 
 The following Epitaph was mnda on an 
 old Woman a seller of Pots, and may be 
 seen at this day in a country Church-yard 
 in Cheshire. 
 
 BY earth and clay she got her pelf, 
 Bnt novr she's turn'd to earth herself. 
 Ye weeping friends, I wouldadvise, 
 To banijh sorrow from your eyes ; 
 Again be chearful, dry your tears, 
 Who knows but in a run of years, 
 In some tall pitcher or broad pan, 
 She in her shop may be again.
 
 Inlerestinz Narraihes, Enigmas, Epio^rams^ Poetry, S,c. 189 
 
 Hxiracrdinary Accotrnf o^ Ric'cr 
 Carrol commonJu caliefi Ih'in.l Dick 
 
 IT is soinetliii:^ remailvabic, Ilia' 
 ihe parents of 1 j^ uiifojtu ;a{(- ptr^oi! 
 were traitsportt**! (iuiiiig his infaiT'-. 
 by vvhicti means he v. as piU ivlo •". 
 Luke's W'^orkhoii-e — li!spiajiii£ vipur 
 a fife at that pliicc athacied the nuticf 
 of one of the oveit^t-rs so ♦•ir, tliut h^ 
 procured an sbie niwifet >Mteiirh liim 
 the violin; bul lie mn iikui-. coiifine- 
 inent, soon riored fi( tn hi-* patr-.-* 
 andsabaisltd by uiayiti^iu Mooifieiiir. 
 and al ),ub:<r-ii ubes. 
 
 His H-'ji hdv.ul'ire as r\ niar;iiid : 
 was ;is sinv;ijar sis asiv (ttbrr tr.dt x. 
 his vha'acu^r ; as lie iictuuiiv, in coti- 
 cert \' :tli a Uinit- »i.: !., robbed the 
 work)! .use \vh»-re lie ; avl bee;- 
 brouf;ht up, oi >:ever:,l bed*, &c. thai 
 bad been to pu" -Ut to air iii the ;,ard. 
 He soo.'j afterwards ran a race uiti; 
 another person tltat had lost his sight, 
 named Blini* Job; v. hich he w( ■• 
 by a cu!!sideral)ie dislance. A habi' 
 of betting and gam'i;g hjd '^o fjr iiii- 
 tiatsd him iiito a courst of dissipation, 
 that at length he couid resi^f no oppor- 
 tunity of pilfering, to tnidde him to 
 attend the skittle-^ronnds; at which 
 he was such an aci^pt, that lie could 
 tell, by the sound of the pins, iiow 
 many had fallen, &c. He once, after 
 fiddling with a hunter's garland, de- 
 camped with the box. He also kept 
 company with a blind girl, till, by the 
 quickness of liis ear, he discovered a 
 rival in the room, by hearing iiim 
 breathe. He was afterwards a cices- 
 bio to a lady of easy virtue near St. 
 Catharine's, till he was detected in 
 packing up the household furniture for 
 a removal In February 178?, he 
 was detected in cuiting the velvet out 
 of a loom belonging to a weaver near 
 Moorfields; for which he was capital 
 ly convicted, but received his Majes 
 ty's clemency, on condition of being 
 imprisoned ti;ree years in Newgate. — 
 Near the expiration of this period, in 
 
 o»u'-equence of some wanton provoca- 
 tion, he stabbed one of tiie prisoners 
 in the belly, for which he was again 
 inipr'aon' d i\\f' years, it is also sin- 
 gular, that .';e procured an affluent sub- 
 siilence in Newgate, by taking pledges 
 o! wea'ing apparel, &c. of which he 
 w.is a competent judge by mere feel- 
 ing; and was frequently employed by 
 ti;e j)risoners in better ciiciimstances 
 to play rtiacphcrson's and other Hash 
 .'lines, of whicii be was a tolerable 
 ^crrformer. 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 A POOR lord of the manor in 
 the north oi E-.gla.Md, who had lather 
 ■r\n extensive rabbit warren on his 
 estate vva-; pariiculariv partial to the 
 conipanv of the curate of the parish, 
 
 snd frequently invited him to dine at 
 'lib hou^e ; i.nd, though the table was 
 
 ■f.t scanti'y lurni'.bed with fish, fowl, 
 and butcher's meat, it was most amply 
 
 upplied with ;abbits dressed in 
 various ways. The curate who was 
 nor over builhenc'l with riches, and 
 >\hu found it convenient occasionally 
 to accept the lord of the manor's invi- 
 tation, grew in course of time, rather 
 idnyed of his usual fare, Beino one 
 • lay asked by his host to return ih'inks 
 oil the removal of the cloth, he rose 
 and corajilied in the following terras : 
 
 For rabbits hot, for rabbits cold. 
 For rabbit!: yoang, for rabbits old. 
 For rabbits tender, rabbits tongh, 
 We tLanli the lord we've had enough. 
 
 EPITAPH ON SH.\KSPEARE. 
 Extracted from his Play of the Tempest. 
 
 THE cloud-capt Towers, 
 
 The fforgeous palaces, 
 
 The .-Dietuu reiiipies, 
 
 Tb<= great Globe itself, 
 
 Yea, all which it inherits, 
 Shall dissolve; 
 And like the baseless fabric of a vision 
 Leave not a wreck behind.
 
 190 
 
 Literan/ Curwdties, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Varieties of Mourning, 
 
 THE coknir of rbournin^ differs 
 accordino to ranks and countries. 
 
 For Princes violet is uuin. 
 
 For Viroins wliitc. 
 
 In Syria, Cappadocia, and Ar- 
 men:a, sky-blue is the common 
 niouming. 
 
 In Eizvpt yellow, or the dead leaf 
 
 The Ethiopians uciirurey. 
 
 The Europeans black. 
 
 Velvei and purple being a mixture 
 denotes bofh sorrow, and what we 
 wish for the dead. 
 
 Sky blue points out the abode we 
 hope they inhabit. 
 
 ^Vhite is the token of purity. 
 
 Yelh)w, or the dead leaf, is a 
 symbol which shews that death is the 
 end of human expectations, as the 
 leaves, when decayed, turn yellow. 
 
 Grey signifies the earih to which 
 the dead return; and 
 
 Black, the privation of life, be- 
 cause it maiks the privation of light. 
 
 Remarkable Stori/ of a Medical 
 Gentlemav. 
 
 IN one of the last year's great 
 floods, a farmer's wife was taken in 
 labour, and no person proper to assist 
 her living nearer than seven inUcs, the 
 good husband rode with the utmost 
 speed to Dr. Rhubarb, whom he beg- 
 ged instantly to go to his wife. The 
 doctor being a knowing one, declared, 
 though his usual fee was two guineas, 
 at such a distance, when no danger 
 appeared, yet now (said he) as I must 
 go at tlie eminent hazard of my life, 
 1 shall not budge one foot, unless you 
 agree to give me ten guineas. 'i he 
 farmer in vain lemonstrated on his 
 inability to perform sucli a demand ; 
 Khubarb was indexible. — The honest 
 countryman's love to his Joan rose 
 above every objection, and he at last 
 engaged to raise the money : they 
 got to the farm-house, through much 
 difficulty, and in an hour or two tlie 
 
 doctor presented the master of the 
 house with a fine boy, and demanded 
 his exorbitant fee ; which tiie farmer 
 immediately gave him, and thev 
 drank each a glass of ale to the boy's 
 future welfare — By this time the 
 fli.-)J was greatly increased, and real 
 danger threatonefl the doctor in his 
 reairn; on which (not being at all 
 acquainted with the way) he ii.trealed 
 the farmer to lose no time in con- 
 ducting him back. — " My fiiend (cries 
 the farmer) you would not come to 
 help my wile, who was in real distress, 
 unless I promised to give ten guineas, 
 when ofdy an imaginary danger was 
 before you ; but there is now a real 
 hazard in my venturinsi to shew you 
 the safest way back; therefore unless 
 you will give me nine guineas for my 
 trouble in conducting you home, you 
 may abide where you are until the 
 next dry season." — .All replies were 
 in vain ; no art could make any 
 impression on the countryman. — 
 Rhubarb was obliged to return nine 
 guineas ; the farmer landed him safe 
 among his gallipots, and the honest 
 man got well home again, triumphing 
 over inhumanity and avarice. 
 
 Lady's Magazine, Sept. 1T86. 
 
 Tit for Tat. 
 
 ' I'LL list for a soldier,' cries Robin to Sue, 
 ' 'I'o avoid your eternal disputes ;' 
 
 ' You'll list for a soldier, aye, do liobin,do, 
 ' In the mean time, I'll raise J'reuli re- 
 cruits.' 
 
 Copy of a Litter from a Country 
 'Squire to his Apothecary. 
 
 Dear Sir, 
 
 iMY son Dick was throunefrom his 
 hors yisterday, and got a vileiit con- 
 fusioji in his head, they say if hisskul 
 was not \crry thick that it would be 
 frackterd ; biing all your stuffs with 
 you, for we must not lose a sheep for 
 a haporih of tar. 
 
 1 am yours in hast, 
 
 K.B.
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas ^ Epigrams, Poetry, Sc Wl 
 
 Particulars of thf Life of Enrl 
 Ferrers, together with his Exec^'- 
 Hon for the Murder of his Steward. 
 
 LAURENCE, Earl Ferrers, was 
 descended from a distinguished familj 
 of the royal blood of tiie Plantage- 
 nets. One oi the family was s];hii 
 while fighfiiijj on behalf of the crown, 
 at tite memorable battle of Shrews- 
 bury, in the be£rinni!!g of the reign of 
 Henry IV. a circymstanre that is men- 
 tioned by the immortal Shakspeare. 
 The second baronet of this fanu'ly, 
 Sir Henry Shirley, married one of the 
 danghters of the famous earl of Essex, 
 who was beheaded in the reign of 
 queen Elizabeth; and Sir Robert Shir- 
 ley, son of Sir Henry, died in the 
 Tower, where he was confined by 
 Oliver Cromwell, for his attachment 
 to the cause of Charles I. Sir Robert's 
 second son succeeding to his title and 
 estate, Charles II. summoned him to 
 Parliament by the title of lord Ferrers 
 of Charlley, as the descendant of one 
 of the coheiresses of Robert earl of 
 Essex, the title having been in abey- 
 ance from the death of the said earl, 
 and the precedency of it as high as 
 the twenty-seventh year of Edward I. 
 In the year 1711, queen Anne created 
 Kobert lord Ferrers viscount 'J'am- 
 worth and, earl Ferrers. Tiiis noble- 
 man possessed a very large estate, but 
 it was greatly diminished by mahhig 
 provision for his numerous family, 
 which consisted of no less than fifteen 
 sons and twelve daughters by two 
 wives. The titles were possessed by 
 the second son of the first earl ; as he 
 died witiiout having any son, they fell 
 to the next snrviving"^ brother, wlio 
 wa^ his father's ninth son ; but as he 
 did not marry, they fell, on his death, 
 to the tenth son, who was father to 
 Laurence ear! Ferrers, a man of un- 
 happy disposition. Thougii of clear 
 intellects and acknowledged abiiilies 
 when sober, yet an early iittacliment 
 to drinking greatly impaired his facul- 
 
 ties; and when druiik, his beii.ivionr 
 was that of a madman. He mar>ied 
 the daughter of Sir WiMiam Meieciith, 
 in the year 1752; but behaved wiili 
 durii unwarrantable cruelty, that slic 
 was obliged to apply to parliament fur 
 redress; the consequence of which 
 was, that an act passed for allowing 
 ■ler a separate maintenance, to lie 
 raised out of his estates. At Derby 
 races, in the year I 756", lore! Ferrers 
 
 ran his mare against captain M 's 
 
 horse for fifty pounds, and wi.s thti 
 winner. When the lace was puded, 
 he spent the evening with some gentle- 
 men, and in the course of conversa- 
 tion, the captain ^who had heard that 
 his lordship's mare was with foal) 
 proposed, in a jocose maimer, to run 
 his horse against her at the expiration 
 of seven months. Lord Ferrers was 
 so atTronted by this circumstance, 
 which lie conceived to have arisen 
 from a preconcerted pl.m to insult 
 hiijs, that he quitted Derby at three 
 o'clock in the morning, and went im- 
 mediately to his .seat at Stanton Harold 
 in Leicestershire. He rang his bell 
 as soon as he awaked, and a servant 
 attending, he asked if he knew how 
 captain M — — came to be infornjed 
 his mare was with foal. Tiie servant 
 declared that he was ignorant uf the 
 matter, but the groom might have 
 told it ; and the groom being called 
 he denied having given any informa- 
 tion resjjecting the matter. Previous 
 to the affront presumed to have been 
 given on the preceding evening, lord 
 Ferrers had invited the captain and 
 the rest of the company to dine with 
 i'iiu as on that day; biit they all re- 
 fused their attendance, though he str.t 
 a servant to remind iheni tiiat they 
 had promised to come. Lord Ferrers 
 was so enraged at this disappointment, 
 that he kicked and horse-whi) ped Jsis 
 servants, and threw at thiiii such 
 articles as lay within his reach. SoHiO 
 oysters had been sesil fronj London, 
 which M'.^t proviiig good, his lord diip
 
 192 Liter ari/ Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 direcled oi<e of the servHiifs to swtar 
 that the carrier hafi changed their.; 
 but the servant declining, ti/ tr'.ke such 
 an oath, the carl <)eu into a rage, 
 sttibbed him in tii<- breast with » 
 knife, cut his head with a cancMestick, 
 and kicl;ed him on the groin m IMi 
 such severity, that he was under the 
 surgeon's care for several ^ears after 
 wards. Lord Ferrers's brother and 
 his wife paving a visit to h'ni and his 
 countess at Stanton- Hsi old, some dis- 
 j)ute arose between the part es ; and 
 lady Ferrers being abs'iit from the 
 room, tlie earl ran up stairs with a 
 large clasp-knife in his hand, and 
 asked a servant whom he met, where 
 bis lady was. The man said, " in 
 iier own room ;" and, being directed 
 to follow him thither, lord Ferrers 
 ordered him to load a brace of pistol? 
 •with bullets. This oi<h red was com 
 plied with ; but the servant, appre- 
 hensive of mischief, declined priming 
 the pistols, which lord Ferrers dis- 
 covering, swore at hin), asked bin; 
 for powder, and primed them himself. 
 He then tiireatened that if he did not 
 immediately go and shoot his brother 
 the captain, he would blow his brains 
 out. The servant hesitating, his lord- 
 8!ii|> pulled the trigi^er of one of the 
 pistols, but it missed (ire. Hereupon 
 the countess dropped on her knees, 
 iUKJ begged liim to appease his pas- 
 sion ; but ill return he swore at her, 
 and threatened her destruction if she 
 opposed him. The servant now es- 
 caped from the room, and reported 
 what had passed to bis lordshin's 
 brother, who immediately called liis 
 wife from her bed, and they left tlie 
 bouse, though it was then two o'clock 
 in the morning. — Th.e unfortunate Mr. 
 J(dmson, who felt a sacrifice to the 
 ungovernable passions of lord Ferrers 
 bad been bieri up \i\ the faniily f om 
 bis youth, and was distinguished by 
 the regular nianmr in which he kepi 
 his accounts, and Ids fidelity as a 
 steward. When the law had dtcrced 
 
 a separate maintenance tor the count- 
 ess, Mr J' hnston was proposed as 
 receiver of the rents tor her use; but 
 he dpciiw! d tills office, til! urged to 
 fake it on Iiisn by (he ear! hiniseif it 
 appe^irs that Johnson now st(n>d high 
 in his iordsdp's opinion : but a difl'er- 
 ent scene soon ensued : for the earl 
 having conceived an opinion, tiiat 
 .Johnson had con.bined with the trus- 
 tees to disappoint him of a contract 
 for ccal-mines, lie ciime to a resolution 
 to destroy tlie honest steward. The 
 ^ar^s displeasure was first evinced by ^1 
 his sending notice to Johnson, to quit -m 
 a beneficial farm w hich he held under 
 him ; but Johnson producing a lease 
 granted by the trustees, no farther 
 steps were taken in the affair. After 
 this, lord Ferrers behaved in so affable 
 ^1 manner to Johnson, that the latter 
 iuiagined all thoughts of revenge had 
 subsided; but on the I3th of January, 
 1760, his lordship called on Johnson, 
 who lived about half a mile from his 
 sent, and bifl him come to Stanton 
 between three and four in the after- 
 noon of the Friday following. His 
 lordship's family now consisted of a 
 gentlewoman named Clifford, with 
 four of her natural children, three 
 maid servants, and five men servants, 
 exclusive of an old man and a boy. 
 After dinner, on the Friday, lord 
 Ferrers sent all the men-servants out 
 of the house, ami desired Mrs. Clifford 
 to go with the children to the house 
 of her father, at the distance of about 
 two miles. Johnson coming to his 
 appointment, one of the maids let 
 !iim in, and, after waiting some time, 
 he was admitted into his lordship's 
 room, and, being ordered to kneel 
 down, he was shot with a pistol, the 
 ball from which entered his body just 
 beneath his ribs. Lord Ferrers, alarm- 
 ed at the Clime he had committed, 
 now called for tiie Miidd-servants, and 
 directed them to put Mr. Johnson to 
 bed. He likewise sent to Mr. Kirk- 
 iand, a surg»:oii, who lived at Ashby-
 
 InterestiJig Narrathes^ Enigmas^ Epigrams, Poetri/, S^c. 193 
 
 de-Ia-Zouch, two nii!< s from his sent. 
 At the ief{uest of the wouiidtvl man. 
 n person was also sent for hi? children 
 Miss Johnson, the eldest (Jauglittr, 
 soon came, and was- followed by (he 
 siirijeon, to whom hud Ferrers said, 
 *' I intended to have shot hins dead, 
 but, since he is still alive, you nuisl 
 do what >on can for him." The sur- 
 geon soon found that Johnson had 
 been mortally wounded ; but, know- 
 ing the earl's fiery disposition, tnut 
 dreading sindlar consequences to him- 
 self, lie dissembled the njatter, and 
 4old him that there was no danger in 
 the case. Hereupon the earl drank 
 liimself ir.to a state of intoxication, 
 and then went to bed ; after wliich, 
 Mr. Johnson was sent to his own house 
 ia a chair, at two o'clock in the morn- 
 ing, and died at nine. Mr. Kirkland, 
 being convinced that Johnson could 
 pot live, procured a number of per- 
 sons to secure the murderer. When 
 they arrived at Stanton fiarold, lord 
 Ferrers was just risen, and goinir 
 toward the stables with his garters in 
 his hand, but observing the people, 
 he retired to the house, and shifted 
 from place to place, so that it was a 
 considerable time before he was taken. 
 ^J'his happened on a Saturday, and he 
 was conveyed to Ashby deda-Zouch, 
 •and confined at the public-house till 
 the Monday following, when the 
 coroner's jury having sat on the body, 
 and delivered a verdict of wilful 
 murder, liis lordship was committed 
 to the gaol of Leicester. After re- 
 nsaining in the above place about a 
 fortnight, he was conveyed to London 
 in his own landau. He behaved with 
 the utmost composure during the 
 journey, and being taken before the 
 House of Peers, the verdict of the 
 coroner's jury was read; on which he 
 was conmiitted to tlie Tower. — His 
 lordship's place of ci nhnement was 
 the round tower, near the drawbridge. 
 Two wardens constniilly attended ;i: 
 bis room, and cue waited at tlje door. 
 
 At the bottom of the stairs, two sol- 
 diers were placed, with tlieir bayonets 
 fixed, and. a third was stationed on 
 tiie draw-bridge: the gates of the 
 Tower were shut an hour before the 
 usual time, on occasion of his impri- 
 -onraent. Mrs, Cliflord now brought 
 her four children to London, and tak- 
 ing lodgings in Tower-street, she sent 
 messages to his lordship several times 
 in the, day, and answers being sent, 
 the comnjunication became trouble- 
 some; so that their mes'ja;;'.'s were 
 forbid to pass more tiian once in the 
 day. Wiiile in the Tower, lord Ferrers 
 lived in a regular manner: his break- 
 fast consisted of a muffin, and a 
 bason of tea, with a spooiiful of 
 brandy in it ; after dinner and supper 
 he drank a pint of wine nused with 
 water. His behaviour in general was 
 very decent, but he sonietimes exhi- 
 bited evident proofs of discomposure 
 of mind. His natural children were 
 permitted to be with him for some 
 tiine; but Mrs, Clifford was denied 
 admittance, after repeated application. 
 ^-Preparations being made for lord 
 Ferrers's trial, and lord Henly (the 
 chancellor) being created high steward 
 on the occasion, the trial came on 
 before the House of Peers, in West- 
 nunster-Hall, on the lu'th of April, 
 1769. The proof of the fact was 
 sufficiently clear: but lord Ferrers 
 cross-examined the v»iti\esses in such 
 a manner, ;?s gave suiiicient proof of 
 the sanity of his mind, of which some 
 doubts hix'A been entertained. Being 
 found gniliy by the unanimous voice 
 of the peers of Great Britain, the 
 lord high steward passed sentence, 
 that he should be executed on the 'Mst 
 of April, but his sentence was respited 
 to the 5th of May. — VViuie in the 
 Power, lord Ferrers left sixty pounds 
 a year to Mrs. CI fiord, a thousand 
 pounds to each of his natural daugh- 
 ters, and thirteen nuudret! pouiuis to 
 die children of Mr. Johnson; but tiiis 
 last legacy, which should have beeu 
 C c
 
 194 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, fVonderful Events, 
 
 the first discharged, vas never re- 
 ceived ! This unhappy nobleman pe- 
 titioned to be beheaded witliin the 
 Tower: but, as the crime was so 
 atrocious, the king refused to mitigate 
 the sentence. A scaft'old was erected 
 under the gallows at Tyburn, and 
 covered with black baize; a part of 
 this scaffold on which he was to stand 
 was raised about eighteen inches above 
 the rest. About nine o'clock on the 
 morning of execution, the sheriffs 
 atSended at the Tower-gate; and lord 
 Ferrers being told they were come, 
 requested that he might go in his 
 own landau, instead of a mourning- 
 coach, which had been prepared for 
 him. No objection being made to this 
 request, he en!ered the landau, at- 
 tended by the Rev. Mr. Humphries, 
 chaplain of the Tower. His lordship 
 was dressed in a white suit, richly em- 
 broidered with silver; when he put it 
 on, he said, " This is the suit in wiiich 
 I was married, and in which I will 
 die." Mr, Sheriff Vail lant joiued them 
 at the Tower-gate, and taking his seat 
 in the landau, told him how disagree- 
 able it was to wait on him, on so awful 
 an occasion, but that he would en- 
 deavour to render his situation as 
 little irksome as possible. The pro- 
 cession now moved slowly, through 
 an immense crowd of spectators. 
 On their way, lord Ferrers asked Mr. 
 Vaillant if he had ever seen such a 
 crowd : the sheriff rejlied in the nega- 
 tive; to which the unhaj)py peer 
 replied, '* I suppose it is because they 
 never saw a lord lianged before." 
 The chaplain observing that the public 
 «vou!d be naturally inquisitive abdut 
 his lordship's religious opinions: he 
 replied — " That he did not think him- 
 self accountable to tiie world for his 
 sentiments on relLjion; but that he 
 always believed in one God, the 
 maker of all things; that whatever 
 were his religious notions, he had 
 never propagated them; that all 
 euimtiic^i had a form of religion, bv 
 
 whicli the people were governed, and 
 whoever disturbed them in it, he 
 considered as an enemy to society : 
 that he thought lord Bolingbroke to 
 blame, for permitting his sentiments 
 on religion to be published to the 
 world." And he made other observa- 
 tions of a like nature. Respecting 
 the death of Mr. Johnson, he said — 
 " he was under particular circum- 
 stances; and had met with so many 
 crosses and vexations, that he scarce 
 knew what he did ;" but declared that 
 he had no malice against the unfortu- 
 nate man. So immense was the crowd, 
 that it was near three hours before the 
 procession reached the place of exe- 
 cution; on the way to which, lord 
 Ferrers desired to stop to have a glass 
 of wine and water ; but the sheriff 
 observing that it would only draw a 
 greater crowd about him, he replied, 
 " that is true, by no means stop." 
 He likewise observed, that the preli- 
 minary apparatus of death produced 
 nu)re terror than death itself. At 
 Tyburn, he expressed a wish to take 
 a final leave of Mrs. Clifford ; but 
 the sheriff advised him to decline it, 
 as it would disarm him of the forti- 
 tude he possessed : to which he an- 
 swered. " W you, sir, think I am 
 wrong, I submit:" after which, he 
 gave the sheriff a pocket-book, con- 
 taining a bank note, with a ring, and 
 a purse of guineas, which were after- 
 wards delivered to the unhappy wo- 
 man. The procession was attended 
 by a party of horse-grenadiers and 
 foot-guards, and at the place of exe- 
 cution was met by anolh.er party of 
 horse, which formed a circle round 
 the gallows. His lordship walked up 
 the steps of the scaffold with great; 
 composure, and having joined with 
 the chaplain in repeating the Lord's 
 prayer, which he called a fine com- 
 position, he spoke the following 
 words with great fervency—" O God, 
 forgive me all my errors! pardon alt 
 my sins!" JJe then picsented his
 
 Merestmg Narralkes, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, S;c. 195 
 
 watch to Mr. Vaillaist, and gave live 
 Cuineas to the assistant of the execu- 
 tioner, by mistake, instead of j:;ivin!,' 
 them to the executioner himself TJie 
 master demanded the money ; a dis- 
 pute arose between the parties, uiiicli 
 might have discomposed the dyina 
 man, iiad not the sheriff exerted his 
 authority to put an end to it. The 
 executioner now proceeded to do his 
 <luiy, lord Ferrers's neckcloth was 
 taken off, a white> cap, which iie Iiad 
 brought 'n\ his j)ocket, put on his head, 
 his arms secured witii a black sasli, 
 and the bailer put round his neck. 
 He then ascended the raised part of 
 the sciffold, and the cap being pulled 
 over his face, the sheriff gave a signal, 
 on which the raised scaMold was struck 
 and remained level with the rest. 
 After hansiitg an hour and five mi- 
 nutes, the body was received into a 
 coffin liiied with white satin, and con- 
 veved to Sur^eons'-Hall, where an 
 incision was made from the neck to 
 the bottom of the breast, and the 
 bowels were taken out; on inspection 
 of which, the surgeons declared that 
 they had never beheld greater signs of 
 long life, in any sui^ject which had 
 come under their notice. His lord- 
 ship's hat, and the halter, lay near his 
 feet in the coffin, on the iid of vviiich 
 were these words — " Laurence Earl 
 Ferrers, suffered May 5, I7bO." 
 After the body had remained some 
 time at Surgeons'- Hall for public iu- 
 spection^ it was delivered to his friends 
 for interment — —It would he injustice 
 to his memory not to mention, tliat 
 during his imprisonment, he made 
 pecuniary recompence to several per- 
 sons whom he had injured, durinu 
 the extravagance of those passions to 
 which he was unhappily subject. 
 
 A Simile 
 
 FUTENDSHIP is like tlie Cohler's tie, 
 That joins two soles in uniij ; 
 But Love isliSie tlie Cobler's awl, 
 That pierces throagh the sole aud all. 
 
 The Life of Henry Hastings, the most 
 remarkable Forester in Ens;land, 
 who lived to the Age of One Hun- 
 dred and Ten Years, and died in " 
 1639. 
 
 THIS singular character never 
 etnerged from the obscurity of a pri- 
 vate gentleman, living in the greatest 
 privacy, in New Foiest, Hampshire, 
 almost a speculative hermit. He was 
 tiie second son of the Earl of Hun- 
 tiwgdon, and inherited a good estate 
 in Dorsetshire, in the right of his 
 brother. Though he did not meddle 
 with state aliairs, he was very active 
 with the deer and wild fowl of the 
 forest, and ingratiated himself so far 
 in tlie good opinion of James I. that 
 his majesty made him forester, and 
 built Imii a lodge to reside in during 
 the Imnting season, where he visited 
 him twice in great state; but his prin- 
 cipal residence was at Woodlands in 
 Dorsetsliire, where he had a capital 
 mansion, but seldom lived there, pre- 
 ferring his lodge in the forest to every 
 thing, as he could indulge his fancy in 
 the beauties of the wild scenery that 
 surrounded him. Here his commu- 
 nications were but few. His nearest 
 kin, Anthony Cooper, afterwards Earl 
 of Shaftesbury, was so opposite to 
 him in jirinciple, that they never met 
 but to quarrel. Two men could not 
 be more opposite in their dispositions 
 and pursuits; Harry Hastings was an 
 independent character, though king- 
 appointed, and the Earl of Shaftes- 
 bury, who has written his life, declares 
 that he would not bear the brutality 
 vf his manners, for he was only fit to 
 live, as he did, by himself. These 
 oppositions of sentiment and manners 
 kept their distance, and the earl never 
 spoke of him but as of a misanthrope. 
 Mr. Hastings was low of stature, 
 but strong and active. His costume 
 was lilvvays a long green coat, and ia 
 winter a cloak of the same colour 
 over. The furniture of the house 
 was as cynical as the master, and as 
 C c 2
 
 196 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 lie kept no servants there, he was not 
 subject to interruption. He had in- 
 closed with his own laiiour a vast pad- 
 docU, which ho. called his park, and 
 which he kept well slocks^l with deer, 
 and rabbits; with lish ponds of his own 
 iiiakiui:. He had also contrived u 
 uarrow bowlinji tureen behind this in- 
 closure, where he played liy himself, 
 chalking up for parties, as if he had 
 any. In the same place he had also 
 a banqueting room, built like a booth 
 in a fair, where he entertained some 
 of the poaching peasantry ; for al- 
 though h;^ was a ranger, he was rea- 
 sonable, and if they made hint pre- 
 sents he took no more notice. 
 
 Ke kept all sorts of hounds, and 
 other dogs that ran game or badgers, 
 and had hawks of all kinds, both long 
 and sliorl winged. His hall or best 
 room was conii^.ionly strewed with 
 marrow bones, hunting poles, hawks' 
 ])eiche?, and matchlock guns, cross 
 bow';, arqu»:bu':se'!. and Indian arms. 
 The upper end of it was hung witli 
 fox, otter, badger and jjolecat skins, 
 and eagles, spread with nails, of his 
 own shooting. The upper end of it 
 Mas hung with game skins, and vari- 
 ous dissections of birds and beasts, 
 made by himself, tilled all the corners 
 His bed room and parlour were lum- 
 ber rooms, conipletciy. furnished in 
 the same stile with all sorts of imagery 
 coii'itrv uten-ils. On the hearths and 
 in ti)e chinmies, la\ his choicest ter- 
 rier hoiuids and spaniels. In the 
 chairs, cats and bitches had deposited 
 thi.ir litters, vvliith were not to be dis- 
 turbed. Of these a select number 
 constantly attended him at dhiner, 
 when a liltie while wand lay by his 
 trencher for his defence when they 
 became too troubiesume. He could 
 play upon the buir!e-horn of any com- 
 pass, ■ ■\^(\ handled the fjuarter-staff in 
 a niasji rly manner; and if a strau!;e; 
 visitf d him, they were sure of bemg 
 consuiled upon the grave subjects of 
 the genealogy of dog.-; and cats, wiii; 
 f hoice observations upon hawks' bills, 
 
 rmgs, and the sight of binis' eggs 
 sur.k In the crown of hats, which it 
 was worse than high treason to touch. 
 Yet with all this, he was not a cynic 
 against some sort of diversion; cards, 
 dice, tables and other boards witii 
 tobacco pij)es of his own n!aking,were 
 ready to enterfani his rougher guests; 
 but of driidi he was a stinter: mum 
 and a medicated ale was all he pro- 
 iluced, of which he drank but a re- 
 gular quantity, and never exceeded 
 himself, nor permitted others in Ins 
 cunpany. According to the piety of 
 liis patron and master, king James I. 
 one roons was appropriated to devo- 
 tion, with a pulpit and desk in it, but 
 he made no other use of it than as a 
 ■•Lire deposit for salted meats and sea- 
 soned pies and pasties. His table was 
 not costly, but, though homely, was 
 wholesohie and good to dwell at. 
 Pudding was his delight, and when he , 
 uiade one, it was of large dimensions, 
 thouidi he was but a ujoderate eater; 
 and his drink after dinner was a com- 
 position of gilly-iiowers and sack, 
 which he boasted of much, as being 
 invigorating. At nights he took sage 
 drops in water and rosemary. The 
 trotdjles of the times disturbed him 
 no] ; for he had forgotton the king, 
 and the court had forgotten him. A 
 short time before his death lie lost his 
 -ii^tit, yet tiiat did not prevent him 
 from riding out on horseback, and he 
 went a day's journey to hear an old 
 huntsman relate the death of a stag, 
 who was himself turned of 90 years. 
 
 Exiraordlnaxy Circumstance. 
 
 ON Sunday the 26th of March, 
 iJSG, at Yarmouth, a most extraor- 
 dinary circumstance occuied. A coun- 
 tryman wanting to cross the river, 
 casually got, into a bf)at, with an in- 
 tent to convey himself over, but not 
 knowing how to manage the boat, he 
 drove to sea, and actually arrived safe 
 at Calais on the Tuesday following.
 
 Interesting Narratkes, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poeln/, cSr. 197 
 
 Thefollowinq Verses were sent hy a Pariuli 
 Clerk to a Cferg!!in:m's Lady, in return for 
 a Christmas Entertainment vhiclt tin 
 Clergyman alimys ff':te to /i;.« Clerks, ana 
 senic of his Friends. The. Poet hinisi'lj 
 hes the mi fortune of being deaf, but ix 
 (for d''nfiiess is kow no impedirnenl) a 
 great Musician. To gratify him in that 
 his second Passion, the Lady made him 
 sitdoicn and fix his Enr-trupipet on the 
 sound-board of the Piano-forte. A far- 
 ther illvstrniion of this enchanting Poem 
 is unneeessary. , 
 
 HOXNORED Madam I have send, 
 These here few lines that I have pend 
 To let yoi! know what has bR?n done 
 By Master ****•• and yon alone — 
 
 We all did come T do protest 
 For to partake of your feast 
 And so v.e did iis very trne 
 On good rost beef and puding too 
 
 A Rib of beef waid twenty poand 
 A leg of raotten round and sound 
 And there was then the nicest ham 
 A Ever I had in my kan 
 
 Twas nice jfood pndina;' I declare 
 And, I believe T had my share 
 , And I believe you did not lock it 
 For I had some put in my pocket 
 
 And we had Beer and twas not Skeiity 
 And Every Ihiuij was very plenty 
 "And after I Mow'd out my knose 
 The Maidens put oh their clean cioalhs 
 
 Then after we had sup'd and all 
 We was atmifed into hail 
 And their I heard the sweetest sonnd 
 Then Mftdam ask me to sit down 
 
 Then Madam play'd a tnne so Rare 
 Like Angels singing in the ayre 
 And sumtimes twas like little birds 
 And they did sing all with out v> ords 
 
 So when the singing all was done 
 Back to the kitchen we did come 
 And there we sate a little while 
 Till we at last begun to smile 
 
 For we had punch made piping hot 
 And we did drink till twelve oclock 
 Now we must thank yon all of us 
 For all must come from your purs 
 
 I do believe that your feast 
 Slust cost 2 guineas at the least 
 
 In a Chtirch-yard in Cormcall. 
 HERE lies the last of William Wood ; 
 yiho lived and died as well as he could. 
 
 Female Courtship. 
 
 TWO or three looks when your ssvaia 
 wants a kiss, 
 
 Two or three noes when he bids you say 
 yes, 
 
 T«o or three smiles when you utter the no, 
 
 i'wo or three fro.vas if he offer to go ; 
 
 Two or three speeches, like— ah, go away , 
 
 Two or three times you must hold him to 
 stay: 
 
 Two or three laughs when astray for small 
 chat, 
 
 Two or three tears though you can't tell 
 for what; 
 
 Two or three letters when vows are begun. 
 
 To or three quarrels before you have done ; 
 
 Two or three meetings to walk here and 
 there. 
 
 Two or three nights to the play-house re- 
 pair ; 
 
 Two OT three dances to make you jocose. 
 
 Two or ti;ree hours in a corner sit" close; 
 
 I'wo or three starts when he bids you elope. 
 
 Two cr tiiree glances to intimate liope; 
 
 Two or three pauses before you are won, 
 
 Two or three faintings before you press on ; 
 
 Two or three sighs when you've wasted 
 . your tears, 
 
 Two or three hems when the chaplain ap- 
 pears, 
 
 Two or three squeezes when the hand's giv- 
 en auay, 
 
 Two or thrre coughs when yon come to — 
 obey; 
 
 Two or three coartsies when marriage is 
 o\er. 
 
 Two or three honeys discovering your lover; 
 
 Two or ihrse steps towards the bedchamber 
 ran, 
 
 Two or three kisses, tho' ask'd but for one; 
 
 Two or tliree lasses may have by thesa 
 rhymes, 
 
 Two or three little ones, two or three times. 
 
 Tit for Tat. 
 
 LORD Evelyn Stuart, son of the 
 Earl of Bute, and an onBcer of the 
 oiiards, wore long mustaches, and 
 appeared thus in the House of Com- 
 mons, of which he was a member. 
 One day Mr. C — y thus addiessed 
 him, '* My Lord, now the war is over, 
 won't you put your mustaches on the 
 pence, establishment?"—'^ I do nolex- 
 Hc;ly know whether I ihall do that," 
 replied his Lordship, " but I would 
 advi«; yon to put yoar tongue on the 
 civil list ?"
 
 198 Lilerari/ Curiosities, EpUaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 A Murder. 
 
 A PERSON of the name of Eliza- 
 beth Burnet was comniitfcd to Yar- 
 Kiouth ^aol for the murder of her 
 bastard child. This young woman 
 had kept company fur some time with 
 a sailor, and it was generally believed 
 he was to be married to her. Busi- 
 rcss called him away, and the lady at 
 whose house Betty lived, suspected 
 from appearances that she wa.s witii 
 child ; but the girl, on being ques- 
 tioned, positively denied the case to 
 be so. It happened on the 23d of 
 August, 1785, there was a great wash 
 in the family, and in this she was em- 
 ployed. The fati«;ue of such a busi- 
 ness brought on her labour, and slje 
 retired from the laundry at about se- 
 ven o'clock in the evening, to the sea- 
 side, where nature performed the pari 
 of the accoucher, and she was safely 
 delivered of a male infant. This ten- 
 der, innocent babe, as soon as she 
 found strength to rise, she threw into 
 the sea, and departed tottering frou) 
 the shore. She had not gone above 
 a hundred paces before she heard the 
 child cry, on that noise she returned ; 
 and found her son thrown by the surge 
 back to the shor<*, strong and alive 
 She threw it a second time with 
 equal bad success as to the murder, 
 for it came back with the w aves alive : 
 She threw it in a third time, but iier 
 strength being so much exhausted she 
 could not send it as far out as at the 
 first or second attempt, and therefore 
 throwing it but a little way, the child 
 again cried. Providence seemed to 
 have given this inhuman wretch suffi- 
 cient time for repentance, but, insti- 
 gated by some hellish agent, she lost 
 all sense of parental feeling, ail mo- 
 therly afiection, and taking up a stone 
 she beat out the brains of tlie child, 
 and then waded as far into the sea as 
 she could, and committed its body to 
 the wavLs, and returned hon)e. iler 
 manner of going out, and Iser return- 
 ing in so debilitated a state, alarmed 1 
 
 the other servants; and her mistregs 
 being told of her state, ordered her 
 to bed (insagining she Vi'as in labour) 
 and sent for a inan-miduife. When 
 he arrived, and enquired scientifically 
 inio tlje fact, he informed the lady of 
 the house that the girl had been deli- 
 vered within a very short time. This 
 naturally brought on an enquiry, to 
 which she gave many evasive answers; 
 until next morning, when a fisherman 
 having found the body of the infant, 
 and it beiiig brought into the room to 
 her, (for the whole town had heard 
 the report) she confessed the fact as 
 above related, and was thereupon 
 committed lo gaol, to take her trial 
 fur the murder. Every precaution 
 was used to prevent any instiument of 
 death being conveyed to her, as she 
 repeatedly declared she would make 
 away with herself. 
 
 Epigram, 
 
 A GENTLEMAN late sent a riiyme-wrot* 
 
 story, 
 Wi(h notes descriptive and explanatory 
 
 Untoa Poet, who, alas ! was very poor: 
 And to explain still more his friendly mean- 
 ing, 
 He added two short notes of his own glean> 
 ing, 
 Each for five pounds — to want a certaia 
 cure. 
 
 Soon after when he met this rhyming hero, 
 Heask'dhim— not how long agoliv'd Nero, 
 iiiit how the book he sent bad stood tba 
 test ! 
 The author shows in ev'ry line his learn- 
 ing, 
 The notes appear to me to be discerning, 
 But your two little notes were much the 
 best." 
 
 T/ih~st. 
 
 IN l/SS, a young man, about 
 twenty-three years of age, died in St. 
 Bartholomew's Hospital, who had 
 been a patient there for five weeks ; he 
 had such a continual drought on him, 
 that he in general would drink from 
 thirty to forty quarts of barley water 
 or mint and balm tea, every day and 
 nii;ht, but took no other sustenance 
 the whole time he was in the iiospital.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigvias, Epigrams, Poetry, Ss^c. 199 
 
 Description of a Wonderful Cavern 
 in Upper- Hungary. 
 
 NEAR Strelitze, an inconsiderable 
 village in Upper-Hungary, is a most 
 wonderful cavern, in the middle of .i 
 large mountain. The apertuie, which 
 fronts (he south, is eighteen fathoms 
 high, and eii^ht broad; and con- 
 sequently wide enough to receive the 
 south wind, which generally blows 
 bere with great violence. Its subter- 
 raneous passages consist entirely of 
 solid rock, stretching away farther 
 south than has yet been discovered. 
 4s far as it is practicable to go, the 
 height is found to be fifty fathoms, 
 and the breadth twenty-six. But the 
 most unaccountable singularity in the 
 cavern is, that in the heart of winter 
 the air is warm on the inside; and 
 when the heat of the sun without is 
 scarcely supportable, freezing cold 
 within. When the snows melt in the 
 spring, the inside of the cave, where 
 the surface is exposed to the south sun 
 emits a pellucid water, which congeals 
 immediately as it drops, by the ex- 
 treme cold. The icicles are of the 
 bigness of a large cask; and, spread- 
 ing into ramifications, form very odd 
 figures ; the very water that drops 
 from the icicles on the ground, which 
 is sandy, freezes in an instant. It is 
 observable also, that the greater the 
 heat is without, the more intense is 
 the cold within ; and in the dog-days 
 all parts are covered with ice. In 
 autumn, when the nights grow cold, 
 and the diurnal heats abate, the ice 
 in the cave begino to dissolve, inso- 
 much that by winter no more ice is to 
 be seen; the cavern then bf comes 
 perfectly dry, and of a mild warmth. 
 At this time it is surprising to see the 
 swarms of flies and gnats, also bats 
 and owls, and even of hares and foxes 
 that make this place their winter re- 
 treat, till in the beginning of spring it 
 again grows too cold for them. 
 
 Tousn and Country Magazine, 1709. 
 
 The Biter Bit. 
 A QUAKER coming to town with 
 his team, was laid hold of and taken 
 liefore a justice for riding on the 
 shafts of his cart, and fined forty 
 shillings. The Quaker, without hesi- 
 tation, threw down two guineas; 
 when the Ju>tice offered him two 
 shillings change. Aye sa^'s the Quaker 
 but thou hast been at so much 
 trouble, thee mayest keep the two 
 ^hillings to thyself; onhj thou write it 
 doivn on a bit of paper for my satis- 
 fKtion ; which the Justice accord- 
 ingly did, and gave a receipt for 
 two guineas, Imt not upon a stamp 
 paper. The Quaker immediately 
 goes to a neighbouring Justice, shews 
 him the receipt, tells him he had just 
 taken it, and asked, if it was accord- 
 ing to law? No, said the Justice, 
 it should have been stamped. On 
 which the Justice, who levied the 
 fine, was brought before the quorum 
 and fined in the penalty of five pound?* 
 
 Anecdote of Dr Johnson. 
 
 DR. JOHNSON being one 
 evening in company with some of the 
 first-rate /i7(?ra^i of the age, the con- 
 versation turned chieflv upon tho 
 posthumous volumes of ^ttiZ/i?, which 
 had not been long published. After 
 having sat a good while collected in 
 himself, and looking as if he thought 
 himself prodigiously superior in point 
 of erudition to his companions, he 
 roundly asserted in his rough way, 
 that Sii^ift was a shallow felloiv, u 
 very shallow fellow. The ingenious 
 Mr. Sheridan, not relishing so des- 
 potic an assertion, anrl in his opinion, 
 so false a one, as he a! mo-it venerated 
 the dean of St. Patrick's lilerary 
 talents, replied, warmly, but modest- 
 ly, •' Pardon ine. Sir, for differino; 
 from you, but I always thought the 
 dean a very clear writer." 
 
 To this modest reply the following 
 laconic answer was immediately voci« 
 feraled; *' All shalLws arc clear."
 
 200 Ltferary Chiriosilies, Epitaplis^ Woriderf id Events ^ 
 
 From the'Town and (.\>untri/ Maga- 
 zine, Atfgiiit IJi^J' 
 
 DTI. LAUNCEf.OT Bhickhunie, 
 Aroiibisliop of Yoik, in his )ounmr 
 vears, had been biicc.iiieerinL;, upon 
 which wasfouiulefl the fo!lo\vingstoiy: 
 when he became dean of Kxeter, two 
 of Ilia forn)er >hi()nia1es slept into the 
 church acci(h:iilallv while liC was in 
 the pulpit preaching; thry were (juite 
 strangers to his new wav of hfe, an<J 
 Could liardly believe their eyes or cars. 
 One of theivi, as they were coming 
 out of the church aft<-r the service vva^ 
 ended, in hearing of tlie dean, swore 
 an oalh,. " tiiat he that preached to- 
 day must be Lancy or the devil." " 1( 
 mu>t lie the devil then replied rhe 
 oilier, for I'll be d— 'd if Lancy has 
 not been lianged long before now." 
 "I sliould be sorry for that," said the 
 dean, joihins; I hem, " for my profes- 
 sion i.s to save sonh-, and the loss of 
 an old friend would grieve nie."' Ail 
 vero in rapture at meeting one another 
 so uno:»pectedly ; and in the course of 
 conversation, which was carried on 
 with soa farinn freedom, it was asked 
 how such a wicked dog as Lancy had 
 been, could ever think of turning 
 priest: "Oh! oh!" said the dean, 
 " the greater sinner, the better the 
 saint : 1 hope, bud as 1 have been, to 
 be a good arclibishoj) before I the." 
 Which accordingly came to pass, 
 though he h;id no likelihood of any 
 such {»refcrment when lie sp>;ke the 
 words. 
 
 s4 Quakers Retort. 
 
 A QUAKKR was examined be 
 fore I he Boa id of Excise, respecting 
 certain duties: the Commissioncis. 
 thinking tliemselves disrespccthdly 
 troaU'il by liis thee-aud-lhoning, one 
 of ihem, with a stern counleiiancc, 
 jisked hiin, — " Pray, sir, do yon know 
 for what zc sit here?" '• Yea," re- 
 plied Nathan, " I do, — some of you 
 for a thousand, and others tor seven- 
 teen hundred and ni'ty pounds a year." 
 
 Moll Cut-Purse. 
 
 SHE was a notorious woman, and 
 was taken notice of in her tinie for 
 her adroitness and pilfering. Butler 
 ,uui Dean Swift nuntion her fur her 
 arlfulnesj and niHScnline appearance. 
 She is reprtsented in t!)e only print 
 that remains of her, in a man's dress, 
 with an ape, lion, and eagle by her. 
 Mer life, which, as well as the prints, 
 is very scarce, was printed in 12mo. 
 l()62. Her usual name was ftJary 
 Frith; she was a common woman of 
 !;reat spirit; a %ira'.Mji, and was sus- 
 pected of being an hcrma[)hrod!te. 
 File exf rente badness of her character 
 made her only remarkable tor the 
 shainefnhicss of her actions. Forgery, 
 which at that time was very rare, was 
 no! above her rtach, nor hii;hway 
 robbery beyond her spirit; for si.e 
 robbed (.jcnerai Fairf.ix upon Houn- 
 slow Heath, for which she was com- 
 mitted to Newgate, where, like many 
 others, she found [uotection in her iTl 
 got gains, and to li\e also Inxuri'jusly 
 upon tiie vsju)ils of the public. She 
 lived in this manner by every means 
 in her power to shun the face of day, 
 until the sevent}-<if(h vear cf her age, 
 but WDuld probably have died before, 
 if she had not smoaked tobacco many 
 hours in a day. Nat. Field, in his 
 comedy, called " Amends for the 
 Ladies," has displayed some of her 
 " mrrrie 2)rankes,'' Both Butler and 
 Swift compare her to the Maid of 
 Orleans in France. 
 
 A BOLD virago, stout aiid fall, 
 
 As joaue of I'raiice, op Englis.'i Moll. 
 
 Butler. 
 lAKV. ballads parted on (lie wall, 
 . Of Joane of France, or English Moll. 
 Snijt. 
 
 Ro!/al Rcpljj. 
 
 THE Princess Amelia once observ- 
 ing a veiy tail olificer come into the 
 rooms at liath, asked who he was, 
 and being tvild, that though now in 
 the army, he was originally intended 
 lor the church. " For the steeple 
 rather," replied slic. 
 
 i
 
 Liferestiftg Narratives, Enigmas^ Epigrams^ Poetry^ SfC. §01 
 
 Life oj Benjamin Kenton, Esq. late 
 Tavern Keeper in iriiitechapel. 
 
 POPE observes, in his exctlieut 
 Essay on Man, 
 
 * Virtuous or vicious ev'ry man must be, 
 Few in the extremes, but all iu thedeffree.' 
 
 With this i(K-d, the present ch;»rac- 
 fer is introduced, for the nrnst auiia- 
 ble and successful ecceutricity that 
 can accompany a man through life. 
 Mr. K. was born in Whitechapel, in 
 1719. in an old house near the he!l 
 founders, where his njother kept a 
 green grocer's shop. His education 
 was in the parish school, and at four- 
 teen years of age was apprenticed i< 
 the vintner who then kept the sign of 
 the Old Anoel and Crown, near (loul- 
 ston-street, Whitechapel. He str\' d 
 his time with so much credit to him- 
 self that his master made him a hand- 
 some present at the expiration of it. 
 He then became a drawer and waiter, 
 and occasionally gathered in tlie pots. 
 Alter a few years spent in humble and 
 useful toil, he took a similar situation 
 at the Crown and Magpie in Aidgate 
 Higli-street. This symbolical con 
 nexion the master of youni: Kenton 
 had been in)prudent enough to dis- 
 solve. Attached to the crown, ht- 
 sufiVred that to remain ; but not hav- 
 ing the same respect for the magpie, 
 he let that fly where it would; a cir 
 cumstance which, althouslj it operat-*t 
 jn the first instance, against tiic trade 
 of the house, was in the seci'ud, at- 
 tended with consequences peculiarly 
 fortunate to Mr. K. as it had an iu- 
 flueuce upon his future prospects. — 
 The Crown and Magpie tavern had, 
 besides its wine trade, been long noted 
 for the exportation of beer to the 
 East and West Indies; the principal 
 being in the possession of a secret pre- 
 paration, whic'i prevented the to,i 
 great fermentation of malt liquor in 
 warm climates; consequently it ren- 
 dered that liquor more palatable and 
 estimable. But on the first arrival of 
 
 the beer after the mao^vie had been 
 expunged from the bills, such is the 
 power of fancy, that it was not re- 
 lisiied, and, of course, the trade de- 
 clined in a concomitant degree. At 
 this peculiar period, the n»aster of the 
 tavern died ; an oppoituiiitv, there- 
 fore, was offered for our young vintner 
 to reiucdy the deftcts of his prede- 
 cessor This opportunity was not 
 neglected by the friends of Mr. K. 
 Upon this occasion, \\h\ gave him the 
 highest proof of theii c nfidence in hfs 
 assiduity and integrity, by enabling 
 ' im to take the business of the hi»use 
 into his own hands, and to open it 
 upon his "wn account. 
 
 Mr. K. was too good a judge of 
 mankind not to know the influence 
 which siuall, and frequently extrane- 
 ous circumstances have upon the hu- 
 man mind ; therefor^ his first care 
 was to restore the niajpie to its pris- 
 tine situation and dijjnitv. Under 
 these happy auspi.-es, the beer sooa 
 recovered its character, among both 
 foreign and domestic custoiuers, and 
 the trade of thr house returned to its 
 ancient channel. 
 
 Thus we find upon what trifling 
 circumsl uices • epends the {rreatest 
 success in the \vnrld. The realizing 
 tiearly half a million of money may, 
 in this instance, be said to have origi- 
 nated in tlie «nufhng of candies, and 
 replacing the figure of a magpie on 
 a sign po'*! ! Vet after all, these are 
 only proofs of a natural acuteness of 
 intellect, which, combi-'zed with per- 
 severance and probity, could hardly 
 fail of leading to a prosperous result. 
 
 He left the tavern business about 
 twenty Ncars bifore his death, and 
 kept only the wholesale line to him- 
 self, which he carried ou in tht Mi- 
 nories. Mr. K. married early in life; 
 by which he had one son and two 
 daughters. The son was an eminent 
 druggist in Lawrence-lane, Cheapside, 
 v\ here he acquired a very c< ii?iderable 
 fortune, which at his decease, priaci- 
 Dd
 
 902 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 pally devolved to his father. The 
 daughters of Mr. K. both died un- 
 married. Thus, as no prosperity is, 
 in this world, unmingled with adver- 
 sity, he not only survived his children, 
 but his relations; for it is extremely 
 singular, that at his death, which 
 happened May the 25th, 1800, at 
 which period he was father of his 
 company, there was no one that could 
 claim affinity with him. He was bu- 
 ried in the chancel of the church of 
 St. Dunstan, Stepney, where a monu- 
 ment has been erected by his residu- 
 ary legatee. He bequeathed property 
 li/the amount of 100,750/. 
 
 The Crow and Cheese. 
 
 ONCE on a time (so Esop sings, 
 'MoDgst other most facetious tilings,) 
 The wants of nature to appease, 
 A crow ptirloin'd a lump of cheese» 
 And, on a tree securely seated, 
 Began voraciously to eat it. 
 Sly Reynard, who, with longing eyes. 
 By chance beheld the tempting prize. 
 Thrice lick'd his lips,^ — by hnnger press'd, — 
 And thus the sable thief address'd : — 
 ' Dear madam Crow ! with joy 1 greet 
 ' A bird with every charm replete; 
 ' That beauteous form ! that noble air! 
 
 * Those feathers so— divinely /air ! 
 ' And more than all, thy vocal art, 
 
 ' In love's sweet bondage linas the heart. 
 
 * Begin then, empress of the throng, 
 ' Begin thy soul -seducing song.' , 
 The foolish bird, pufF'd up with priae. 
 Her shape with fix'd attention ey'd, 
 And (beut the flattering rogue to please, 
 Ciied — ' Cofo'— and dropp'd the precious 
 
 cheese. 
 Delighted Reynard seiz'd his prey, 
 Laugh'd af his dupe, and scour'd away. 
 
 Ah, lovely nymph ! to whom btlong 
 The ((Oft's iieai-t and poet's song, 
 lu this a fttilhful image iind 
 O/ finttery on the female mind. 
 Oil, li«(en not when puppies swear 
 Tiio-ie cheeks the ' fairest of the fair.' 
 E'en whilst tiiey talU of love and death. 
 The wily serpent lui-ks beneath, 
 lmp:itieut to ensn ire his prey, 
 i^n.i bear tiie yieldin.:,'' prize away. 
 But if (uniuiiivirul of my slrui'.;) 
 Yo'i li)ve (he fitlse, in.-idions (tain, — 
 If siiil ihf!>- tieiich^niuji praisei please, 
 C^.j listen, bal-^' hui'i Jasi llie cUveai;.' 
 
 Mother Damnable, the Person who 
 gave rise to the Sign of Mother 
 Red Cap, on the LJampstead Road. 
 A.D. 1676'. 
 
 OF this shrew, whose real name 
 has not reached posterity, nothing far- 
 ther is known than the following lines, 
 annexed to the original portrait, in- 
 forms us: 
 
 YOU'VE often seen (from Oxford tipling- 
 hoose) 
 
 The effigies of Shipton-fac'd Mother Louse, 
 
 Whose pretty pranks (though some they 
 might excel) 
 
 With this old trot's ne'er gallop'd parallel. 
 
 'Tis Mother Damnable! that monstrous 
 thing. 
 
 Unmalch'd by Macbeth's wayward wo- 
 men's ring, 
 
 For cursing, scolding, filming, flinging fire 
 
 r (h' face of madam, lord, knight, gent, 
 cit, squire ; 
 
 Who (when but ruffled into the least pet) 
 
 Will cellar-door key into pocket get. 
 
 Then no more ale : and now the fray begins ! 
 
 Ware heads, wigs, hoods, scarfs, shoulders, 
 sides and shins ! 
 
 While these dry'd bones, in a Westphaliaa 
 bag, 
 
 (Through th' wrinkled weasan of her shape- 
 less crag) 
 
 Sends forth such dismal shrieks, and na« 
 couth noise. 
 
 As fills the town with din, the street with 
 boys; 
 
 Which makes some think, this fierce she- 
 dragon fell. 
 
 Can scarce be match'd by any this side hell. 
 
 So fam'd both far and near is the renown 
 
 Of Mother Damnable of Kentish-town. 
 
 Wherefore this symbol of the cat's we'll 
 give her. 
 
 Because so curst, a dog would not dwell 
 with her. 
 
 It is pretty certain she is the person 
 represented in the sign of the Mother 
 Uedcap, not far from London, on the 
 road to Hainjjstcad, more especi;illy 
 as the house which bears that sign was 
 the only one staniling ntar the place 
 in the memory of many now livnig. 
 
 On a Stuygard. 
 
 LO ! here does lazy I,ArRE\CE lie. 
 Who, wbeii lie bade the world adieu ; 
 
 Cried—" O, what bliss it is to die, 
 " For now, Tve nothing moie to do !"
 
 Interesting Narrathes, Enis^mas, Epigrams^ Poetry, SfC. 903 
 
 The Country. 
 AS two Bond-street loungers were 
 discoursing in Piccadilly, one of them 
 said he wished much to go into the 
 coiuifry; upon winch the other made 
 the following observation: 
 
 " WHY in the country, my frienc?, there s 
 
 nougiit I o be sepn, 
 But an ass en a comaion, or a goose a green.-' 
 
 A couiitrvman passing at the time, 
 pronounced the following impromj)tu : 
 
 " THERE wou'id bs in the country them 
 
 thinn;" to be seen, 
 " Were yon o.i a common, and yonr friend 
 
 on a green." 
 
 The Mistake. 
 
 A CROP, deaio'Tatiqiip, all closely shorn, 
 Went to a barber's shop one Sunday morn, 
 'iVlid raiiksof wigs be took his seat, (o !earn 
 Some barber's news, and wait his shaving 
 
 turn. 
 Up came old GaoEjer with his flowing wig, 
 White as a cauliflower, but twice as big, 
 And pepping round, for he was almost blind, 
 A vacant block stand for his wig to find. 
 He chanc'd, sad hap, his jierriwig to pop, 
 tJpon the nut-brown head of knowing crop. 
 Up bounc'd the blade, and swore, and 
 
 flounc'd about, 
 
 * Od, demme — demme, Sir, I'll call ye out.' 
 Quick as light horsemen vaults into the 
 
 saddle, 
 3")id Ganger's spectacles his nose best raddle, 
 For much he slar'd to see bis old wig w alk, 
 Swear so, and so undntifully talk ; 
 But soon as ever the mistake he spied. 
 The good old man, quite out of breath, re- 
 plied, 
 
 * Yonr feelings. Sir, T did not mean to shock, 
 
 * Indeed, indeed, I took you for a block.' 
 
 Epigram, 
 
 A DRUVKEV old Scot, by the rigoroue 
 
 sentence, 
 Of the Kirk was condemned to the stool of 
 
 repentance. 
 A priest tohis conscience his vices laid home. 
 And his danger in this and the world that's 
 
 to come. 
 " Thou reprobate mortal '. why dost thou 
 
 not know, 
 Where, a f(er you're dead, all yon drunk- 
 ards must go? 
 " Mnst go when were dead ? Why, Sir, 
 
 yon may swear. 
 We shall go, one and all, where we find th 
 
 hat Leer !" 
 
 Important Jntettigence (from the 
 Morning Papers.) 
 
 BY our last advices from Knights- 
 bridge, we hear that a horse was 
 clapped in the pound on the 3rd inst. 
 and that he was not released when 
 the letter came away. 
 
 We are informed, from Pancras, 
 that a ilozen weddings were lately 
 celebrated in the mother church of 
 that place ; but are referred to their 
 next letters for the names of the par- 
 ties concerned. 
 
 Letters fromBrompton advise, that 
 the Widow Blight had received several 
 visits from John Mildew, which 
 affords great matter of speculation in 
 those parts. 
 
 By a tjsherman, who lately touched 
 at Hammersmith, there is advice from 
 Putney, that a certain person, well 
 known in that place, is like to lose 
 his election for churchwarden ; this 
 being boat news, we cannot give en- 
 tire credit to it. 
 
 By letters from Paddington, we 
 learn that William Squeak, the sow- 
 welder, passed through that place on 
 the 5th instant. 
 
 Friday last, as Mr. Humphrey 
 Tripping, a grocer of considerable 
 property, was ridmg along the High- 
 street, Islington, his horse had the 
 mi-fortune to lose one of his shnes. 
 
 Yesterday, as Mr. George Conun- 
 drums, of Moor-gate, was conversing 
 with some friends, in his usual way, 
 he fell into a grievous mistake, and 
 was extricated v\ith great difficulty. 
 
 Mr. Grubble has given his brother 
 George the use of his horse, while he 
 remains at Margate. 
 
 Advice from Limehouse mention, 
 that a violent quarrel broke out be- 
 tween i\Ir. and Mrs. Tarpaulin 
 which was not got under when the 
 post came away. 
 
 Yesterday some fellows were ob- 
 served driving a quantity of oxen and 
 sheep before them, on the road to 
 Smithfieid. 
 D (1 2
 
 204 Literart/ Curiosities, Epitaphs^ Wonderful EtentSy 
 
 James Doughs, Dukt of Queeiisberry, 
 Jormerly known hj the humorous 
 appellation of Old Q. 
 
 THIS nidst eccentric nobleman 
 was of loval Scottish extraction, and 
 was born in . 730 ; many of his an- 
 cestors have intermarried with tht 
 Caledonian royal family, in whose 
 courts thev have iield hi^h and ho 
 nounible situatioiss, and since their 
 residence in England, they biive been 
 noticed witli peculiar attention by oar 
 sovereigns. 
 
 On the death of his father, the last 
 Earl of March, be succeeded to the 
 family estates, and became well known 
 in London and Newmarket during al 
 most fifty years, by the familiar name 
 of Lord March. Bt-ing very young 
 when he came to his title, and enter- 
 ing early into the world, it so hap- 
 pt^;.ed that he formed a decided and 
 aln.-st unconquerable tJste for the 
 amus* mtnfs of the turf. 
 
 While yet a boy. the Earl of March 
 is reported to have acquired a certain 
 species of distinction, by his gailan 
 tries in the capital, and" his exploits 
 at the race-ground, and he shone at 
 once the meteor of the turf and the 
 drawing-room. A handsome person, 
 of which he has been always particu- 
 larly careful, joined to a splendid equi- 
 page, a title, and a fortune, all of 
 which were lieightened by manners 
 highly polished, and conversation that 
 seened bewitching, ensured to him 
 the smiles of the fair. But if he ne- 
 ver led a " willing partner" to the 
 altar, he had many to attend him at 
 liis couche as well as /eife; therefore 
 it was always his particular fancj to 
 enjoy Ihe pleasures and freedoms of 
 celibacy, which has hitherto precluded 
 that species of alliance which might 
 have insured legitimate heirs to the 
 exteubive fortune and splendid titles. 
 We are said to be imitative animals, 
 and this doctrine coincides with his 
 conduct for many yeais, during which 
 he imitated Lord Baltimore's way of 
 
 life, intrigue, and oriental forms of 
 courtship. Although, like the illus- 
 trious Duke of Bedford, he possessed 
 a great attachment to the pleasures 
 of the turf, yet, being too wary, he 
 never became the prey of sharpers. 
 
 In the year ]756, Lord March rode 
 his own horse, at Newmarket, against 
 a Scottish nobleman Some time 
 after, the celebrated race against time 
 Wfis suggested by his lordship; which 
 was that a machine with four wheels, 
 sh; uld go not less than nineteen miles, 
 witliin a space of sixty minutes. As 
 it had been already discovered that a 
 rare-horse might be urged to such a 
 degree of speed, as to run over a mile 
 in a minute, this, which allowed about 
 three to a carriage, did not appear so 
 surprising to the knowing ones, for a 
 short space of time; but the conti- 
 nuance of such a rapid motion during 
 a whole hour, staggered their belief, 
 and many of them were completely 
 outwitttd. 
 
 His grace has been biographied in 
 so many Cyprian histories, that we 
 shall say nothing here upon that sub- 
 let, but refer the reader for infor- 
 mation to the Life of Maria Brown, 
 a woman of intrigue, who lived for- 
 merly in Grosvenor Place, the house 
 of assignatioii for Kitty Fislier, Fanny 
 Murray, Nancy Dawson, and others. 
 But with all his follies, he had many 
 s;ood qualities; and was a great friend 
 to the poor, a, well as to the indus- 
 trious and deserving tradesmen, many 
 score of whom felt their loss by his 
 death. He never tunied a servant 
 away without a positive proof of some 
 fault or neglect. 
 
 His funeral was a very plain and 
 private one ; in his own parish-church 
 of St. James's, Piccadilly ; his remains 
 were deposited the last day of De- 
 cember, 1810. His grace died worth 
 half a million of money besides his 
 estates. Flis will and codicils were in 
 thirty-six pieces, and many parts very 
 ijuestionable: an apothecary, who at- 
 tended him in ordinary for many
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epis^rams, Poetry, SfC. f05 
 
 years, net finding himself in his will, 
 brought an action against the execu- 
 tors, and obtained a verdict of 5000/. 
 for eight yeiirs' atteiKJancc. 
 
 Thomas Venner, 
 
 THIS man, who might have rea- 
 sonably' passed for having a tolerable 
 share of common sense, and have 
 sunk in his grave, " guiltless of his 
 country's blood," had he not let his 
 understanding become bewildered 
 with enthusiastic fanaticism. He was 
 a wine cooper by trade, and appeais 
 to have acquired a comfortable cojij- 
 |>eteuce thereby; but not being a man 
 possessed of a strong mind, wlien hi>^ 
 leisure allowed him to think, he fell 
 into the notions of the Millenarians 
 or Fifth Monarchy Men; and so furi- 
 ously did he go to work to propagate 
 his notions, that he set out with a 
 pole-axe to cwnvert the people, preach- 
 ing up his notions at the corner of the 
 streets. Possessed with this opinion, 
 he proclaimed — he expected Christ's 
 coming upon earth was just at hand, 
 and all humaa government, except 
 that of the saints^ was presently to 
 cease. 
 
 Enthusiasm is of all ages, religions 
 and countries. He preached equally 
 against all sects and kings: said he 
 looked upon Cromwell and Charles U. 
 as damnable usurpers upon Christ's 
 dominion, and persuaded his foolish 
 and weak followers, that it was their 
 duty to rise in every county, and seize 
 upon the kingdom in his name. Ac- 
 cordingly a rabble of them, with Ven- 
 ner at their head, assembled in the 
 streets of the city, and proclaimed 
 king Jesus for ever ! In a day or two 
 they were overcome by a party of the 
 militia, whom they resolutely engaged, 
 and their leader, with twelve of his 
 followers, were executed in January, 
 1661. In their last moments they 
 declared, " that if they had been de- 
 ceived, the Lord himielf was their 
 deceiver," 
 
 A Sermon preached hy Mr. Dodd 
 of Dedham, commonly culled Old 
 Dodd, to some Students of Oxford, 
 who met him on the road to Lon- 
 don, and insisted on his preaching 
 to them in an old hollow tree, from 
 the word Malt : havitig remonstrat- 
 ed a while to them, to no purpose, 
 he got into the hollow tree, and said. 
 
 Beloved, 
 
 LET me crave your attention; 
 for lama little man, come at a short 
 warning, to preach a brief sermon, 
 upon a small subject, to this congrega' 
 tion, in an unworthy pulpit. 
 
 And now, my beloved, my text is 
 Mall : which I cannot divide into sen- 
 tences, because it is none ; nor into 
 words, because (upon the whole mat- 
 ter) it is but a monosyllable ; — there- 
 fore I must, as necessity forces me, 
 divide it into letters, which I find in 
 ray text to be these four — M, A, L T. 
 M, my beloved, is Moral, A is Alle- 
 gorical, L is Literal, and T is Theo- 
 logical. The Moral is set forth to 
 teach you Drunkards good manners; 
 therefore M my Masters, A all of you, 
 L listen, T to my text. The A, Alle- 
 gorical, is when one thing is spoken of, 
 and another meant. Now the thing 
 spoken of is Malt, but the thing 
 meant is Strong Beer, wherein you 
 Drunkards make M, Meat; A Ap- 
 parel ; L, Liberty ; T, Treasure. The 
 Literal is according to the letter — M, 
 much, A, Ale; L, little, T, Thrift: 
 Much ale, little Thrift. The Theo- 
 logical is according to the effects 
 which it works, which I find in my 
 text to be of two kinds — 1st, in this 
 World; 2d, In the World to come. 
 In this World, the effects are,— in 
 some Murder, in others Adultery ; in 
 some Looseness of Life, in others 
 Treason. Sdly, in the world to come. 
 — In some Misery, in others Anguish; 
 in some Languishing, in others Tor- 
 ment. Wherefore my first use shall 
 be. Exhortation. M, my Masters; A, 
 all of you, L, leave, T, Tippling, or
 
 205 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Extents, 
 
 look for Torment. So much for this 
 time and text ; only, by way of cau 
 lion, take this: a Drunkard is ap 
 annoyance of Modesty, the trouble of 
 Civih'fy, the spoil of Wealth, th*^ 
 destruction of Reason, the Brewer's 
 Agent, the Ale-House Btiiefutor, 
 the Beggar's C')ni;)anion, tiie Coiista 
 ble's trouble, his Wife's woe, his Chil- 
 dren's sorrow, his Neighbours' scoft, 
 his own shame, a walkiiiji swell-tub, 
 the ;,.;cture<'f a Beait, and the mon- 
 ster of a Man. 
 
 On Mr. Stone. 
 
 JERUSALEM'S curse is not fulfiH'd iume, 
 For here a stone upon a Stone you see. 
 
 Volcano. 
 
 IN 17S3, there was an immense 
 volcanic eruption in the Northern Is- 
 land of Iceland, which began on the 
 lOih of June, and continued till the 
 middle of August ; a new island was 
 thrown up in the neighbouring sea, 
 and agiiin disappeared. And several 
 months before this eruption, a heavv 
 dark blueish sulphurous fog had been 
 observed to rest over the island, when 
 rot dissipated by the wind, the fog at 
 times was spread all over Europe. 
 The year before this eruption, tlie in- 
 fluenza (a disorder hitherto unaccount- 
 ed for) spread through Europe ; this 
 volcanic eruption in Iceland is perhaps 
 the most remarkable yet recorded in 
 history. One stream of burning lava 
 extended lorty miles in length, and 
 sixteen in breadth, and was in some 
 places, between four and five hundred 
 feet deep. On the 18th of August 
 J7S3, a remarkable meteor, or ball 
 of fire, was seen all over Britain, and 
 in many places upon the Continent of 
 Europe, This phenomenon happened 
 much about the the time of the termi- 
 nation of the volcanic eruption in Ice- 
 land, and it is remarkable, that this 
 meteor was first seen to the norih-west 
 cf the Shetland and Orkney Islands, 
 in the quarter of Iceland. 
 
 A Simile, written by Mr. Dnak, who teas 
 in Love with Miss Drake. 
 
 SAY, fair one, dids't thou never see 
 
 (' Tis but by way of simile) 
 Two creatures of the feather'd kind, 
 \lilie in body and in mind; 
 Vow swimming up or down the same 
 Or muddy or pellucid stream; 
 sow on the bank their brood nmong, 
 Vow waddling side by side along: 
 Together sleeping both and waking. 
 Together silent both and quacking; 
 Partners alike of joy and fear. 
 Forever faithful, ever dear. — 
 Emblem of matrimonial life, 
 A pi'jfiire true of man and wife ; 
 How h;tppy you and I cou'd be. 
 To lead this waddling life — agree. 
 Then change thy name, for heaven's sake! 
 Be ibou the DUCK, and I the drake. 
 
 Authentic Anecdotes of Mr. Pope. 
 
 MR. POPE was born in Lombard- 
 street, London, in a house where a 
 few years ago resided Mr. Morgan, 
 an apothecary. 
 
 Pope, when very young, was in- 
 troduced as a maker of verses to 
 Dryden, who gave him a shilling for 
 the version of the story of Py ramus 
 and This be. 
 
 Pope wrote his Ode on Music, at 
 the desire and instigation of Steele, 
 who had used to prefer it to Dryden's. 
 It was set lo music by Dr. Green. 
 
 Pope spent some time in writing a 
 tragedy called Timoleon; but did not 
 succeed in the attempt. 
 
 Coffee-House Pun. 
 
 SOME gentlemen, at a coffee- 
 house, discoursing on the wonderful 
 discoveries of Sir I'^aac Newton, 
 could resolve his attainments into no 
 other cause but his dealing with a 
 demon. A genllemnn who sat by, 
 says, " Gentleman, I am well assured, 
 that your suspicion is justly founded ; 
 hut can any one of you tell me the 
 name of the demon to whom Sir 
 Isaac is indebted?" They declared 
 their ignorance. " Why, then," re- 
 plies the gentleman, I will inform 
 jyou: It is "Demon— stratiun,"
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poe.trij, &^c. 207 
 
 The Ma'rimenial Creed. 
 WHOSOEVEPc will be married, 
 before all things it is necessary that he 
 hold the conjugal faith; and tiie con- 
 jugal faith is this; that there were 
 two rational beings created, both 
 equal, and jet one superior to the 
 other, and the inferior shall bear rule 
 over the superior: which fiiitli, except 
 every one do keep whole and uiideliled 
 without doubt he shall be scolded at 
 everlastingly. 
 
 The man is superior to the woman, 
 and the woman is inferior to the man; 
 yet both are equal, and the woman 
 shall govern the man. 
 
 The woman is commanded to obey 
 the man, and the man ought to obey 
 the woman. 
 
 And yet they are not two obedients, 
 but one obedient. 
 
 For there is one dominion nominal 
 of the husband, and another domi- 
 nion real of the wife. 
 
 And yet there are not two domi- 
 nions, but one dominion. 
 
 For like as we are compelled by the 
 christian verity to acknowledge, that 
 wives must submit themselves to their 
 husbands, and be subject to them in 
 all things ; 
 
 So are we forbidden by the con- 
 jugal faith to say, that they should be 
 at all influenced by their wills, or pay 
 any regard to their commands. 
 
 The man was not created for the 
 woman, but the woman for the man; 
 Yet the niiin shall be the slave of 
 the woman, and the woman the ty- 
 rant of the man: 
 
 So that in all things, as is aforesaid, 
 the subjection of the snperior to the 
 inferior is to be believed. 
 
 He therefore that will be married, 
 must thus think of the woman and 
 the man. 
 
 Furthermore it is necessary to hub- 
 niijisive matrnnony that he also believe 
 rightly the infallibility of the wife: 
 
 For the right faith is, that we be- 
 lieve and confess, that the wife is fal- 
 lible and infallible ; 
 
 Peifectly fallible and perfectly in- 
 fallible, ot an erring soul and unerr- 
 ing mind subsisting : fallible as touch- 
 ing her human nature, and infallible 
 as touching her female sex. 
 
 V;ho although she be fallible and 
 infallible, yet she is not two but one 
 wuman; who submitted to lawful 
 marriage to acquire unlawful domi- 
 nion ; and promised religiously to 
 obcv, that she might rule in injustice 
 and"folly. 
 
 This is the conjugal faith : which 
 except a man believe faithfully, he 
 cannot be married. 
 
 ENIGMA. 
 
 A Strange and fVonderful Sight. 
 
 I SAW a peacock — with a fiery tail 
 
 I saw a blazing comet- — pour down hail 
 
 I saw a cloud — wrapt with ivy round 
 
 I saw an oali — creep on the ground 
 
 I saw a pismire — swallow up a whale 
 
 I saw the sea — brimful of ale 
 
 I saw a Venice glass — tifteen feat deep 
 
 I saw a well — full of men's tears that weep 
 
 I saw wet eyes— all of a flaming fire 
 
 1 sawa house— biggerthantlie moon&higher 
 
 I saw the sun — and even at midnight 
 
 I saw the man who saw th.s dreadful sight. 
 
 Anecdbie. 
 
 MR- Quin happened to be in 
 company with a gentleman whose 
 lather was -a. footman: when heraldry 
 became the subject ot' conversation, 
 the gentleman observed, ** he had 
 seen his arms on a barouet's carriage 
 of his name, and they must be re- 
 lated." " No doubt," said the wil 
 "your family, sir, is pretty exten- 
 sive: ycur tiithcr's arms must have 
 been upon many carriages." 
 
 The BooK-lVorm: 
 
 WILL has a noble library,— "lis true ; 
 
 Bi;t doss he use, peruse, or lend hi'^ bcoks? 
 No— he c<;nteated fer.sts the ouficard view. 
 
 And, only at the lircttg binding looks. 
 
 Epftiipli at Marxian, OjfordiMre. 
 
 I VfOULD have my ofeighbours be ail IkirA 
 
 and mild 
 Quiet and civil 1q my dear wifi and chili.
 
 SOS JLiterarij Curiosities, Epitaphs, TVonderful Events, 
 
 The Life of Milton, the Pott. 
 
 JOHN MILTON was descended 
 from an ancient family of Ihat name, 
 at Milton near Abingdon, in Oxford- 
 shire, and was son of Mr. John 
 Milton, a scrivener, being born at 
 his father's house in Bread-stree!, 
 London, on the gth of December, 
 kSQS. He was educated under a 
 domestic tutor, and also at St. Paul's 
 school, under Mr Alexander Gill, 
 where he made an uncommon progress 
 in learning, bv his admirable genius 
 and indefatigable application ; from 
 his twelfth year he generally sat up 
 half the night at his studies; and this, 
 Willi his f equent head-achs, was the 
 first cause of impairing his sight 
 On the 12th of February, l6'24-5, he 
 Was admitted a pensioner of Christ's 
 Colleore in C'lnbridge, under tin 
 tuition of Mr. William Chapel, after- 
 wards lord bishop of Ross, in Ireland; 
 and even before that time had distin- 
 guished himself by several Latin and 
 English poems, us he did afterwards 
 while he contiHued at the university. 
 In 162s. he took the degi\. ^ . fe- 
 eler of Arts; and in the twenty third 
 year of his age wrote a letter to a 
 friend, who had importuned him to 
 enter into holy orders; of which there 
 are two draughts in his own hand- 
 writing, among his manusciipts in 
 Trinity-College library at Carobridge 
 After he Irad taken the degree of 
 Master of Arts, which was in l6»32, 
 he left the university; and for the 
 space of five years lived with his 
 father and mother, at their house at 
 Horton near Colebrook, in Bucking- 
 hansshire; whither his father, havini: 
 raised a competent estate, had retired 
 from busiiiej-s. In l6'34, he wrote 
 his " Mask," performed bi fore the 
 loid pre.Mdeut of Wales, at Lndlow- 
 castle. Upon the death of his mother, 
 he obtained leave of his father to 
 travel ; and accordingly set out for 
 France about April i6'38. At Paris 
 
 he was introduced to the celebrated 
 Hugo Grotius; and from thence went 
 to Florence, Sienna, Rome, and Na- 
 ples; in all which places, he was en- 
 tertained with the utmofit civility and 
 respect, by persons of the most emi- 
 nent quality and learning : and was 
 preparing to pass over into Sicily and 
 Greece, when he was diverted from 
 that resolution by the melancholy ac- 
 count of the confusions in England, 
 which afterwards broke out into a 
 'civil war: esteeming it an unworthy 
 thing, for him to be taking his plea- 
 sure in foreign parts, while his country- 
 men were contending for liberty at 
 home. He returned to England, after 
 fifteen months absence, about the time 
 of the king's second expedition against 
 the Scots; and hired a lodging in St. 
 Bride's church-yard in Fleet-street, 
 where he undertook the instruction of 
 his sister's two sons, Edward and 
 John Philips. He continued not long 
 here, but took a large and commo- 
 dious garden-house in Aldersgate- 
 street; in which he lived several years, 
 applying himself to the education of 
 tiio sons of several of his friends^ 
 wtco.ding to a plan of his own. In 
 \6i], he pubiishtd five tracts relative 
 to church-government; ai d in l643, 
 married iVTary the daughter of Ri< hard 
 Powell, Esq. of Forest-Hill in Oxford- 
 hire; who not long after visiting her 
 fither in the country, and refusing to 
 return h.me upon her husband's re- 
 peated messages and letters, he seem- 
 ed resolved to niairy another wife, 
 and published four pieces on the sub- 
 ject of divorce, in which he main- 
 lained this opinion, that " Indisposi- 
 tion, utsfitness, or contrariety of mind, 
 arising from a cause in nature un- 
 changeable, hindering and ever likely 
 to hinder the main benefits of conjugal 
 >ociety, which aie solace and peace, 
 IS a greater reason of divorce than 
 natural frigidity; especially if there 
 be no children, and that there be 
 mutual consent." Hwvever, upon Lis
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enis^mas, Epigrarns, Poetrij^ S:c. 209 
 
 wife's submission, he took her lionit 
 aiiiiin, and evfii en't'i taiiied her f^tlier, 
 and several of lier bi(>th<'rs and sisters, 
 in his house, till afier his own father's 
 death, which v. as in iGif- About 
 t\;e year 1^44, he wrote a little tract 
 Oil Education ; and in November the 
 same year, pu!)lished his Arsopfigitica; 
 and the year following his Juvenile 
 Poems were printed at London. 
 About this time it was intended fo 
 make him adjutant-general in Sir 
 Wiiiiam Waller's army ; but the new 
 modelling of llie army defe ited that 
 design. Soon after the march of 
 Fairfax and Crosnweil with the whoh 
 army through the -city, in order to 
 suppress the insurrecti>n which Brown 
 and Massey were endeavouring to 
 raise auainst the proceed ngs of tlie 
 iirniy, he kft his large house in Al 
 dersgate street for a small one in 
 High-Holborn, which opened into 
 Lincoln's-Imi-FieUls, where he prose- 
 cuted liis studies till after the king's 
 trial and death, when he pubiishi-d 
 his Tenure of Kings and Mngis! rales; 
 his Observations on the Articles o 
 Peace between Janus, Earl of Or- 
 monde, for Kino- Charles I on the 
 one hand, and the Irish Rebels and 
 Papists on the other hand. He was 
 now taken into ihe service of the 
 Commonwealth, and made Latin se- 
 cretary to the Council of State, who 
 resolved neither to write to others 
 abroad, nor to receive any answer, 
 except in the Latin tongue, which 
 was common to them all. In l651, 
 he publisiied his Pro populo Angli- 
 cano dejensio; for which he uas re- 
 warded by the Commonwealth with a 
 present of a thousand pounds. Hf 
 soon after settled in petty France, 
 Westminster, in a iiouse opening intc 
 St. Jan'.es's Park ; where he ren!;dne(i 
 till within a few weeks of the Restora- 
 tion. By his first wife he had four 
 children, but she dying in cliild-bir 
 of the fourth, in 1()3'2, he mani(^r* 
 Cytbarine, the daugliter of Captain 
 
 Woodcock of Hackney, by whom he 
 iiad one dauchter, ^^ho with the 
 ujotiier di I not lon<£ survive the birth. 
 This second marriage was about two 
 or three years after his being wholly 
 deprived of his sight ; for bv reason 
 of his incessant studies, and the licad- 
 ach, to wJiich he was subject from his 
 youth, and his perpetual tampering 
 witii physic, his eyes had been decay- 
 ing for twelve \ears bef. re. In lo^t, 
 he pulslished his Defe/isio seciinda, 
 and the vear followinir hi> Dtfensio 
 pro se. Being now at ev>i' frrmi state- 
 adversaries and public contests, he 
 had leisure again to continue his own 
 studies and private designs, particu- 
 larly his Hislorif of Britain, and his 
 new Thesaurus Lingua; Lati>i(£, 
 which was afierwards made use of by 
 the editors of the Cambridge Dic^ 
 tionnry. In 1()59, he published Ins 
 Treatise of the Civil Power in Ecck' 
 siastical Causes, and his Considera- 
 tions touching the lih'liest means io 
 remove Hirelings out of the C' tirrh. 
 Upon the dissolution of the par'ia- 
 ment bv the army, after Riihard 
 Cromwell had resiyned the Protector- 
 siiip, Milton wrote a letter upon the 
 Commonwea'th, and auotlser piece on 
 the same subject: and in February, 
 165960, put)iiG!i d his Ready and 
 easy way to tstabli^h a free Contmon- 
 'vealth, and soon after that, his Brief 
 \iites upon a late Sermon entitled,. 
 The fear of Gad and the King. Just 
 before the Restoration, he was re- 
 mived from his office of Latin secre- 
 lar\, and concealed himself lill the 
 .\ct of Oblivion came forth ; when, 
 being securt d by his pardon, he ap- 
 peared a;;ain ni public, and took a 
 liouse in Jewen-street. near Cripple- 
 '/ale; where he married his third wiff, 
 FJizabeth, daughter of Mr, MinsJuil 
 f Cheshire, by whom he ha<J no 
 ciidtlren Soon after, he removed fo 
 I house in the Arliileiy-walk, hafJ'ug 
 o Bunhill-titlds, wiicre he c; ntmued 
 till his death, except during the plague 
 E e
 
 ^\0 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events, 
 
 at London in 1665, when he letircil 
 with Ills family to St. Giles Chalfont 
 in Buckinghamshire: at wliich tini'j 
 his Paradise Loat w;is finished, thoufih 
 not printed till J 667. In I670, he 
 published the History of Britain ; 
 the year following his Paradise Re- 
 gained, and Samson Agonistes ; in 
 167?, his Loi^ie; and the next year 
 his disc< urse Of true Religion, Ac. 
 He died at his house in Bunhill, No- 
 vember 15, 1674, and was interred 
 i:ear the body of his father, in the 
 chancel of the church of St. Giles 
 Crip))legate. His person was very 
 prepossessing ; his stature did not 
 exceed the middle size; his limbs 
 well proportioned, nervous and active; 
 serviceable in all respects to his exer- 
 cising the sword, in Which he much 
 delighted, and wanted neither skill 
 nor courage to resent an affront, from 
 men of the most athletic constitutions. 
 In his diet he was abstemious; not 
 delicate in the choice of his dishes; 
 and strong liquors of all kinds were 
 his aversion. His deportment was 
 erect, open, and affable ; his conver- 
 sation cheerful, easy, and instructive; 
 his wit on all occasions at command, 
 facetious, grave, or satirical, as the 
 subject required; his judgment just 
 and penetrating, his apprehension 
 quick; his memory tenacious of what 
 he read ; his reading not so extensive 
 as Ills genius, for that was universal. 
 1 le ever expressed the most profound 
 reverence for the Deity; and would 
 bay to his friends, that the divine 
 properties of goodness, justice, and 
 mercy, were the adequate rules of 
 human actions, nor less the object of 
 imitation for private advantage, than 
 of adnnration or resi)ect for their owii 
 txcellence or perfection. 
 
 Tjie Village School Mi.itrcs.^. 
 " These threp cl)ildreii SJilcali t)are,'' 
 Milk a bear, chii-L! I spell it, speli i(," 
 
 " H-o-r-e — Linre," 
 " Aye, tliey mig-tjl milk a boar j go on," 
 
 Epilapliium Chemicvm. 
 
 HERE lyettito digest, macerate, &ad amal- 
 
 (jainate 
 
 widi Clay, 
 
 In Balneo Arence, 
 
 Stratum super Stratum, 
 
 The Residuum, Terra damnata, a.ad Caput 
 
 Mortunni 
 
 Of BOYLE GODFRY, Clieralst, 
 
 and M. D. 
 
 A Man, who in this Earthly Lahoratortf 
 
 Pursued various Procesnes to obtaia 
 
 Arcanum Vit<B, 
 
 Or the ^'ecret to live; 
 
 Also Aurum Vitw, 
 
 Or, the Art of gel ting, rather than making 
 
 Gold. 
 
 Alchemist like, 
 
 All his Labour and Projection, 
 
 As Ulercitry in iheVire,evaporatt din Fumo 
 
 When he dissolved to his first Principles, 
 
 He departed as poer 
 
 As the last Drops of an Alembic. 
 
 For Riches are not poured 
 
 On the Adepts of this World. 
 
 Though fond of News, he carefully avoided 
 
 The Fermentation, Effervescence, 
 
 And Decrepitation of this Life. 
 
 Full Seventy Years his exalted Essence 
 
 Was Hermetically sealed in its Terene 
 
 Mattrasa, 
 
 But the radical Moisture being exhausted, 
 
 The Elixir FittB spent, 
 
 And exsiccated to a Cuticle; 
 
 He could not suspend longer in bis Vehicle, 
 
 But precipitated gradatim, 
 
 Per Campanam, 
 
 To his Original Dust. 
 
 May that light, brighter than Bolagnian 
 
 Phosphorus, Preserve him from the 
 
 Athanor, Empyreuma, and 
 
 Keverbcratory Furnace 
 
 of tbe other 
 
 World, 
 
 Depurate him froro the Fasces and Scoria 0/ 
 
 this ; 
 
 Highly rectify and volatize 
 
 His o'thereal Spirit, 
 
 Bring it over the Helm of tlie Retort of this 
 
 Globe, place it in a proper Recipient 
 
 Or Chrystulline Orb, 
 
 Among theElect of the Flowers of Benjamin, 
 
 Never to lie saturated 
 
 Till the General Resuscitation, 
 
 Deflagration, Calcination, 
 
 And Sublimation of all Things. 
 
 An inisH Poet, in his description of a hos- 
 pitable mansion in the fVeitt of Ireland, 
 
 s:iys .-— 
 
 " THERF- youthful Bacchus held his ivy 
 
 throne, 
 " There masiy a bottle bled without a 
 
 groau,'-'
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas ^ Epigrams, Poetrt/, SfC. §11 
 
 The Laplanders. 
 
 WHO can be without a lively sense 
 of njratifudelowardliis Creator, and of 
 pity to those of his fellow-creatures to 
 whom nature has more sparingly dis- 
 tributed her -blessinss, when he fixes 
 his eyes on the Laplanders, and the 
 iiihabilants of the lands borderini* 
 t'Q the arctic pole 1 
 
 Their country is formed of a cliaiii 
 of mountains covered with snow and 
 ice, which does not melt even in sum- 
 mer: and, where the chain is inter- 
 rupted, bogs and marshes fill up the 
 space. Winter is felt during the great- 
 er pari of the year: a deep snow over- 
 v/helms the valleys, and covers the 
 litile hills ; and for a long time the sun 
 never rises above their horizon. The 
 inhabitants seek shelter from the cold 
 in tents, which can be removed from 
 cne place to another They fix their 
 fire-place in the middle of the tent, 
 and surround it with stones. The 
 smoke goes out at a hole in the top, 
 which also serves them for a window. 
 There they fasten iron chains, to 
 which ihey hang the chaldrons, in 
 which they dress their food, and melt 
 the ice, which serves them for drink. 
 Tfie inside of tlje tent is furnished with 
 furs, which preserve {hein from the 
 cold ; and they lie on skins of animals, 
 spread upon the ground. It is in such 
 habitations that the Laplanders pass 
 their winter, surrounded by the howl- 
 ing wolves, who are roaming every 
 where in search of prey. How could 
 we bear the climate and way of life of 
 these pet)ple? How much we should 
 think ourselves to be pitied, if wc had 
 nothing before our eyes but an im- 
 mense extent of ice, and whole deserts 
 covered with snow; the absence of 
 the sun making the cold still more in- 
 supportable !— and if, instead of a 
 convenient dweilinir, we had only 
 moveable tents made of skins; and no 
 other resource for our subsistence but 
 in painful and dangeroua hunting. 
 
 Are not these reflections proper to 
 make us observe the many advantages 
 of our climate, to which we attend so 
 little? Ought they not to animate us 
 to bless the Divine Providence for the 
 many thousand advantages we enjoy ? 
 Yes: let us ever bless that wise Pro- 
 vidence ; and when we feel the seve- 
 rity of the season, let us return thanks, 
 that the cold is so moderate where we 
 dwell, and that we have such numer- 
 ous ways of guarding against it. 
 
 But is the iiuiabitant of northern 
 countries so unhappy as we imagine! 
 It is true, that he wanders painfully 
 through rough valleys and unbeaten 
 roads, and that he is exposed to the 
 inclemency of the seasons. But his 
 hardy body is able to bear fatigue. 
 If the Laplander be poor, and depriv- 
 ed of many of the conveniences of life 
 that we enjoy; is he not rich, in 
 knowing no other wants than those 
 which he can easily satisfy? he is de- 
 prived for several months of the light 
 of the sun; but in return the moon 
 and the aurora borealis come to illu- 
 mine his horizon. Even the snow and 
 ice, in which he is buried, do not make 
 him unhappy. Education and custom 
 arm him agaiast th.e severity of his 
 climate. The hardy life he leads en- 
 ables him to brave the cold ; and the 
 particular wants, which are indispen- 
 sable to him, nature has made it easy 
 for him to supply. She has pointed 
 out to him animals, the fur of which 
 defends him froni the keenness of the 
 air. She has given him the rein-deer, 
 which furnishes him with his tent, his 
 diess, his bed, and his food : m ith this 
 animal he undertakes long journeys, 
 it su|iplies almost all his wants, and 
 I he maintenance of it is no expense or 
 trouble to him. 
 
 If it be true, then, that the idea 
 we form of happiness, depends more 
 on opinion than on reason ; if it be 
 true, also, that real happiness is not 
 fixed to particular people, or particu- 
 lar climates; and that with the neces- 
 E e 2
 
 212 Literart/ Cariosities, Epitaphs, IJ'onderful Events, 
 
 saries of life and peace' of niin<l, h 
 mail nmy be liappy in any corner of 
 the eart!) ; have we nut a right to ask, 
 vhat tl)e Laplander wants to make 
 hjni happy 1 
 
 Droll Advfiniiire of a Silestan Priest, 
 related in the King of Prussia's 
 Campaigns. 
 
 COLONEL Fonqiiet, havin<j; en 
 tered Crcinsitz wilii six companies of 
 grenacffej;;, liad placed a sentiiiel on 
 the wall, near the house of a priest, 
 or curate. The i^ood man, findinir 
 himself much distijrbed by t!ie fre- 
 quent re})etition of Qui m la? \vhicli 
 the sentinel pronounced, with 5^ loud 
 voice, every quarter of an hour, re- 
 solved to make the soldiers wearv of 
 their post, and with this view masked 
 hiiti'-elf like a devil ; accordinnh horns, 
 claws, the serpent's tail, cloven feet, 
 and the fork were got read\; and our 
 piiest, havins equipped Inniself to his 
 own satisfaction, and like a real devil 
 bevaii to act liis part, by advanriiip 
 towards the sentinel, and, at eveiv 
 step, scratcliing the wall Vfith his fork 
 The grenadier began to feel some 
 trcniorj, but did not leave his post. 
 He stojsped short, till the devil coming 
 too near, and presenting the three 
 points of his fork, cried out vvilh a 
 hoar?:e voice, "Thou shait die by m\ 
 hand ;" then the soldier got the better 
 of his fears, and boldly cocked hi, 
 nmsket. The spectre heard the click 
 of this fatal instrument, and of a 
 sudden losing all confidence in his 
 fork, and the whole of his apparatus, 
 recoiled, and wanted to save his 
 ho;iour, by a slow retreat. The 
 grenadier, on the contrary, having 
 oiire made free with this imaginary 
 devil, followed him close, and saw 
 hJiu enter the house of the curate, by 
 a liule back door. Upon this, he 
 called sonie of iiis companions to iiis 
 assistance, who were not at any greal 
 distance; when they quickly forced 
 
 the door open, and Beelzebub seized 
 'witli all his infernal hahiiimenls, be- 
 fore he had lime to change them As 
 soon as he was taken, he was con- 
 ducted to the next post, whence he 
 was next day transported to the main 
 guard, and flogged in the sight of 
 the whole town — Tlie cicrgy made « 
 great noise about this affair; btit the 
 colonel giving them to understand, 
 I hat the worthless Levile had, by this 
 impudent masquerade, insulied the 
 Harris >n, and consequently all the 
 king's troops, matters were made up 
 in such a manner, that the poor curate 
 was shut up in a convent to do penance 
 and the clergy paid a (ine of ninety 
 ducats, of which each company had 
 fifteen, to purchase spatterdashes. 
 Every body thought this adventure 
 very diverting; and the soldiers said 
 to each other, that the devil had 
 taken pains to provide them with 
 spatterdashes. 
 
 To a Goose. 
 
 IF Ihou didst feed on western plains of 
 yore, 
 Or waddle with flat and flabby feet 
 Over some Cambrian mountain's plasby 
 moor. 
 Or find iri farmer's yard, a safe retreat 
 From gypsey thieves, and foxes sly and 
 fleet. 
 If thy grey quills, by lawyer guided, trace 
 I Deeds big with ruin to some wretched race. 
 Or love-sick poet's sonnet sad and sweet, 
 Wading the rigour of some lady fair ; 
 Or of the drudge of housemaid's daily toil, 
 Cobwebs and dust thy pinion white besoil, 
 Feparied Goose ! I neither know nor care. 
 But this 1 know, that thou wert very fine ; 
 Season'd with sage, and onions, and Port 
 Wine ! 
 
 PENNY WISE AND POUND FOOLISH; 
 
 An Epigratn. 
 POOR John had bought him half a hog. 
 And thought it would be glorious prog. 
 To eat with cabbage, pease, and beans. 
 Or with a dish of winter greens: 
 But Neiiy thought it far too dear. 
 Indeed it cost her many a tear, 
 i^he used (for saving wai; her boast) 
 F?ut h;;!f a pound of sait at most ; 
 Sui see bow Nc:ly was mistaken, 
 Shesuv'd Ler salt — but lost her bacon.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas , Epigrams, Poetry, S<-c, 213' 
 
 Murderer self-prompted to Conjession. 
 
 A JEWELLER, a man of good 
 rharactei and considerable wealth, 
 having occasion, in llie way of liis 
 business, »o travel at som«> distance 
 from tiie place of' his abode, look' 
 alon:: with him a servitnt, in order to 
 look : fier his portmant* au. He h.sd 
 a!so with him some of iiis best jew- 
 els, anrl a la rue sum of money, to 
 which his seivant was likewise privy. 
 The masier, iiavinu occasion to dis 
 mount on Jl e road, the servant watch- 
 ed his ipportuiiity, t>ok a pistol from 
 his master's saddle, and shot him f»ea<l 
 on t'le spot: iheii rifling him of hi«. 
 jewels and money, and hanging a iarg. 
 stone to his neck, he threw him into 
 the nearest canal. With tliis booty he 
 made off t*^* a distant part of the coun- 
 try, vJiere he had reason tobtleve. 
 that neiliier he nor his ma ter were 
 known. Tiiere ! e began to trade i;i 
 a very low wa at first, that iiis ob- 
 scurity might screen him from obser- 
 vation, and in the course of a good 
 manv '.ears, seemed t' ri>e, h\ the na- 
 tural progress of business, into wealth 
 and consideration '" so that his go(,d 
 fortune appeared at once the effec- 
 and reward of his mdustry and virtue. 
 Of these he counterfeiter' the appear- 
 ances so well, that he grew in great 
 credit, married into a good family, 
 f.nd, by laying o\jt his bidden stores 
 di.vcreetly, as he saw occasion, and 
 joining to all an universal affability, 
 be was admitted to a shcirc of the go- 
 vernment of the town, and rose from 
 one post to another, till at length he 
 was chosen chief ujagistrate. In this 
 oSce he maintained a fair character, 
 and continued to fill it with no small 
 applause, both as a governor and a 
 judge; till one day, as he sat on the 
 bench with some of his br,ethren, a 
 criminal was brought before Ihera, 
 who was accused of having murdered 
 bis master. Tlie evidence cansc out 
 full, the jury brought in their verdict 
 
 that the pri-oner was gnihv. and the 
 uhole asseu b!y waited the^ sentence 
 of the president of the court (which he 
 iiappeiied to be that da\) with great 
 suspense. IVIeanwhiit he appeared to 
 be in an unusual disoidcr and agitation 
 of miuii, his colour chajiiied often; at 
 length he rose from his seat, and com- 
 iiijf iown from the bench, placed hin»- 
 M Ifjust by the unf(.rtun. te man at the 
 bar, to the no sniall a.Mon sluntut of all 
 present, "'iou ser before you,*' said 
 he (addressiiij; h.iniself to those wi.o 
 had sat on the bench with hinj) " a 
 ?triking instance of the jusl rew, rd 
 of jieaven, which this day, after thirty 
 years concealment, presents to you a 
 greater criminal than the man just 
 now found guilty." Then he made 
 an ample confession of his guilt, and 
 of all its aggravations, particularlv the 
 ingratitude of it, to a master w ho had 
 raised him from the very dust, and 
 reposed a peculiar confulence in him; 
 and told then) in what manner he had 
 hitherto screened himself from public 
 justice, and how he had escaped the 
 observation of mankind by the spe- 
 cious mask he had worn. " But 
 now," added he, " no sooner did this 
 u;ihappy prisoner appear before us, 
 char^ied with the same crime 1 was 
 conscious of myself, than the cruel 
 ci.ciimstances of my guilt beset me 
 iii all their horror; the arrows of the 
 Almighty stuck fast within me, and 
 my own crime appeared so atrocious, 
 that I could not consent to pass sen- 
 tence against my fellow criminal till I 
 had first impannelled and accused 
 myself Nor can I now feel any re- 
 lief from the agonies of an awakened 
 conscience, but by requiring that jus- 
 tice may be forthwith done against 
 me in the njost public and solemn 
 manner, for so aggravated a parricide. 
 Therefore in the jiresence of the all- 
 seeing God, the great witness and 
 judge of my crime, and before this 
 whole assembly, who have been the 
 witnesses of my h\pocrisy, 1 plead
 
 214 Liter an/ Curiosities , Epitaphs^ fVonderful Etents. 
 
 guilty, and require sentence mav bt 
 pass* '( ii<iaiiist nie as a most notoriou 
 malefactor." We may easily supposi 
 the amazement of all the assembl . 
 and especially of liis feliow ju(ige> 
 However, tliey proceeded, upon liis 
 confessiiii), to pass sentence upon him, 
 and he died with all the sxmptoms of 
 a penitent niiiul: an exenipla y in- 
 stance of tlie Cat^l effects of an ex- 
 orbitant passion, and the tremendous 
 justice of f^rovidence, in deteclins; one 
 oi the most cool and artlul villains, 
 after such a long concealment. 
 
 Epitaph on John Spoiig, a Carpenter: 
 
 " Who many a sturdy Oak had laid a!nn£f. 
 
 « Feli'd by death's surer hatchet, here lies 
 Spon<j; 
 
 " Posts oft he made, yet ue'er a Place could 
 g«t, 
 
 *♦ And lived fay railing, though he was no 
 Wit. 
 
 " Old Saws he bad, although no Antiqua- 
 rian, 
 
 " And Styles corrected, yet was no Gram- 
 marian." 
 
 AN ESTIMATE OF HUMAN LIFE. 
 
 Somnus, BnUa, Vilrum, Glacies, Flos, 
 Fdbtita, FtEnum, Umbra, Cinis, Punc- 
 tum, Vox, Sonus, Aura, Nihil. 
 
 WKAT is the fleeting life of mortal man ? 
 Its dale extended mpa'ures but a span ; 
 A Dream — that leaves no memory behind, 
 A Bubble — blown away by every wind, 
 A Gluss — that's broke, and scarcely lasts a 
 
 day, 
 ^s Jce — which quickly meits in tears away; 
 A Flower — that fades as soon as in the 
 
 bloom, 
 A Tale — i' th' morning told, forgotten ere 
 
 tis noon, 
 As Gra««— cut down and wilher'd in an 
 
 hour, ^ 
 
 A Shadow — which hath no continuance ia 
 
 its power. 
 As Dust — that's driven by the whirling 
 
 storm, 
 A Point — that knows no substance, parts, 
 
 or form : 
 A Foic^ — which nothing but a sound can 
 
 boast, 
 A Sound — that in surrounding air is lost ; 
 A Fapour—ioss^'d ai)OHt by ev"ry breath, 
 A A'o</i/))(7/— Such is niau, the sport of time 
 
 and death, 
 
 Remarkable Account of a Persoii who 
 eat and digested tite hardest Sub- 
 stances, in amazing Quantities. 
 
 SOME time ayo was read before 
 the university of Wittemberg, by M. 
 Boehmer, president, a dissertation, 
 entitled, "De Polyphagd et AUo- 
 Iriophago Witteber^ensi Dissertatio," 
 containing a history of the most enor- 
 mous tater that perhaps was ever 
 hnown ; the toad-eaters of the last, 
 tsnd the fire eater?, of the present age 
 not excepted. He is said to have 
 devoured, at one time, a whole sheep ; 
 at another, a whole hog ; and, by 
 way of dessert, at a third, four half- 
 bushel baskets of cherries, together 
 with the stoises. 
 
 Snbstaiices, indeed, the most diffi- 
 cult to digest, and such as would be 
 shockitig to the generality of people, 
 he swallowed and digested easily ; 
 such as china, glass, shells, &:c. all 
 which he would break to pieces with 
 his teeth, chew, and swallow, with- 
 out difficulty. Living animals '?ind 
 insects, as birds, mice, caterpillars, 
 &c. were common to him : but what 
 almost surpasses belief, is, that he 
 once swallowed a block-tin standish, 
 with the pens, penknife, ink, sand, 
 and every thing it contained. This 
 last fact is so very extraordinary, 
 tl)at had it not been attested on oath 
 by seven eye-witnesses, before the se- 
 nate of Witteraburg, its credibility 
 could hardly ever have been admitted. 
 
 This strange person was of an ex- 
 tremely strong and robust constitution ; 
 and continued his exploits till the age 
 of sixty ; after which he lived a more 
 regular life, and attained his eightieth 
 year before he died. 
 
 His body was opened by the author 
 of the dissertation, and many parti- 
 cular circumstances attending the dis- 
 section are remarked, in order to shew 
 the practicability of the facts above 
 mentioned. • 
 
 Epitaph. 
 
 Mk'S'fi life is a vapour, and full of woes, 
 lie cuts a caper, and down he uoes.
 
 Intereslins; Narratites, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poefn/, 8fC. 515 
 
 Jchn Wilkes, 
 AN active politician, and at one 
 time of iife the idul of t!ie people, 
 was bora in Clerkeiiwcil, in 1728. 
 He received the rudiments of his edu- 
 ciition at Hertford, whence he was 
 removed to Buckinnjhanishire, and 
 placed under a private tutor of Pres- 
 byterian principles. After riiakii)? a 
 tour on the Continent, he returned j 
 home, and married a lady of consi- I 
 derable fortune. He was appointed i 
 lieutenajit-coloiiel of the Buckingham- | 
 shire militivi, and nominated one of 
 the deputy lieutenants of the same 
 county. In 1761, he was chosen 
 member of palianient for Aylesbury. 
 Having dissipated the principal part 
 of his fortune, he found his circum- 
 stances much embarrassed, and be- 
 came the vehement opposer of go- 
 vernment, under the administration 
 of the earl of Bute, in which cause 
 he was distinguished by that poetical 
 genius Charles Ciuirchill. In the 
 paper-war which lie commenced, he 
 was called to an account for the 4.5th 
 number of his " Nortli Briton," in 
 which he made so free with royalty 
 itself, that a general warrant was is- 
 sued against his papers by the Earl of 
 Halifax, then secretary of state; and 
 he was committed prisoner to t!ie 
 Tower. His political warfare not 
 only deprived him of his liberty, but 
 also exposed his life to danger from 
 two duels. As some compensation, 
 however, for his sufferings, he o! - 
 tained a verdict with a thousanci 
 pounds damages, and full costs of 
 suit, against Lord Halifax, for the 
 illegal seizure of his papers. Rut he 
 experienced t!ie vengeance of the 
 court of King's Bench, and both 
 houses of parliament, for the libel, 
 and for his " Essay on Women." — 
 He was not only expelled the house 
 of commons, but outlawec!; though 
 be obtained a reversal of the out- 
 lawry; \yhe»i, after re-e!eclioii and 
 
 exclusion as being ineiii.ib: , he sur- 
 vived the violent pers? cution. In 
 October 1774, he wms a fifth time 
 elected for the county of Middlesex, 
 and took his seat without opposition: 
 and in the satie ^ear, after having 
 long been an aldern:;^;^, served the 
 hi>h office fif first n. igistrate of the 
 city of London. When the marquis 
 of Rockirif'ham canie into power, 
 \Vilkes ^elzed the crilj<al moment, 
 and obtained a resolu ion of the house 
 of commons for expunging from its 
 journals, all the rtsolislions against 
 liiin, as subversive of the rights of ihe 
 whole body of el. ctors in the king- 
 dom. He soon after withdrew from 
 the party whose strenuous champion 
 he had b'ien, in consequence of which 
 he was overlooked in the general elec- 
 tion of 1790. It was at this last 
 election that Wilkes stnved hard to 
 regain his former seat of honor, but 
 after a struggle of fourteen days, he 
 was unsuccessful. The election for 
 the county of Middlesex took place at 
 Brentford, as usual; but the zenith 
 of poor Wilkes's sun was set; he was 
 fame, unnerved, and rather unpopu- 
 lar : the natural generosity of his for- 
 mer ccnsiituerits, induced them to 
 stick close to him, but with all their 
 efi'orts, they were unavailing. 
 
 Various have been ti;e opinion of 
 Wilkes as to the integjity of his poli- 
 tical conduct; some asserting that 
 there was never any virtue in his ac- 
 tions ; but, on the contrary, they 
 were ail for gain; and that iie only 
 barked for the gaining of a sinecure: 
 his friends of couise refuted these 
 assertions with great w.uinth and elo- 
 quence : be it as it may, he ainiiiii- 
 lated t!ic genuineness of warrants ; so 
 far he merits thanks. No man made 
 a greater impression on the minds of 
 the people of England in his tinic : 
 " Wilkes and 45 O !" was the bur- 
 then of the song, from (he purlieus of 
 St. Gilcj^'.s to the more refined abodei 
 of the nobilifv at St. Jaujes's.
 
 216 Litcrar// CuriosHies, Epitaphs, Wonderful Exienls, 
 
 . After a loiiij struggle, Wilkes beuan 
 to fini that he was getting did, and 
 wished for sostie office whete he iiiii:*il 
 enjpli)y his time in peace : tiie im- 
 port aiit one <if chauiberiditi of Lon- 
 don became vHcant; -and vviio was .-o 
 capable of iiiiini.' it as Wilkes 1 lit 
 was appointed ; and administrred lin. 
 functions of the office wish great fid - 
 lit}', justice and satisfacSion, unlii his 
 decease, in December, 1 797- His 
 knowledge of polite literature was ex 
 tensive ; his taste elegant, and his wit 
 inexhaustible. 
 
 The Storm, or Sailors and Priest. 
 
 IT blew ji hard storm, and in utmost con- 
 fusion 
 
 The .sailors all hasted to g;ei absolution ; 
 
 Which done, aud the load of the sins they'd 
 confest 
 
 Transferr'd as they thought froci ihemgelves 
 to the priest; 
 
 To lighten the ship, and conclude their de- 
 votion, 
 
 They tost the poor father souse into the ocean. 
 
 Old Boots, of Rippon in Yorhshire. 
 
 THE name of this cnrioasly-giflcd 
 man is not known. Among the vast 
 variety of human counlenances, n'>ne 
 perhaps ever txrited more public cu- 
 riosity than that of Old Bools: he 
 was formed by nature with a nose anil 
 chin so tenderly endearing, that they 
 embraced each other; and, by habif, 
 he could hold a piece of money be- 
 tween them. The appellation of Old 
 Boots was given him on account of 
 his being employed at an inn at Rip- 
 pon, Yorkshire, to clean boots. He 
 always went into tije rooms with a 
 bootjack and a pair of slippers. The 
 urbanity of his maimers pleased the 
 compasiv, who frequently j;;ave bin; 
 money, on condition that he would I 
 jjold it between his nose'and chin ; 
 which he always complied with, and 
 hore oiT the treasure wit!) great satis- 
 faction. He resnaiiied at the above 
 i«H liJI ihe linje cf his death. 
 
 THE SfHOi)L-BOY: 
 
 A Parod'j on Mr. Pope's Ode to Solit^ide, 
 
 MA IPY the lioy whose wish and cheer 
 
 A littie bread and l>ui!er serves ; 
 Content, at nieitls, to drinli small beer 
 
 And eat preserves. 
 
 '/'hose top and marbles give Iiim pleasure ; 
 
 Whose 'lappy witii his paper tiite ; 
 Whose pennies shine, a mighty treaenrs, 
 
 To ciiarm his sight. 
 
 Blest who can every morning find 
 
 Some idle lads with whom to play ; 
 When iu the iields he liath a mind 
 
 From School to stray. 
 
 Not ferule fears, nor birch more dire, 
 
 i'uf plays all day, and sleeps all night ; 
 Some other boys his cash will hire, 
 
 His task £o write. 
 
 'I'hi!'! let me live, thns life enjoy, 
 
 Until (o manhood I arrivej 
 And then, like me, sure ev'ry boy 
 
 To live will strive. 
 
 The Pig-Pye Man. 
 
 AMONG the numerous itinerants 
 who have frequented the streets of 
 i-ondon, and made themselves con- 
 spicuous by the eccentricity of their 
 dress, (heir cries, or their article of 
 s lie, none excited more public atten- 
 tion than the subject of this memoir. 
 Of llie place of his birth, or his name, 
 we are not informed. He fre(piented 
 the streets of London ; was a good- 
 looking man, corpulent, but blind, 
 and whose i'ace bespoke to have seen 
 better days : he was led by a boy. 
 
 He used to sell {)igs, made of what 
 is called siaitdiiTii crust, about three 
 or four inches l>ug, baked with cur- 
 rant sauce in their belly. The chaant- 
 ii-g of his ditty, 
 
 ' A long tailiid pig, or a short tailed pig,' 
 ah.vays carried with him a vast deal 
 of companv, and the quantity he sold 
 of liis pigs was astonishing, being very 
 cleanly made. 
 
 Epitarih. 
 
 MERIi lies my poor wife, wlthont bed or 
 
 blatikei. 
 i]ut dead an fidocr-aail; God be thanked.
 
 Interesfins: Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, SfC. 217 
 
 Anecc^ote of Dr. Goldsynitk. 
 
 THOSE in the least acqiniiiled 
 with the private character of the doc- 
 tor, knew that economy ?i\-\<\ foresight 
 were not amongst the catalogue of 
 Lis virtues. In tiie suile of his pen- 
 sioners (and he generally enlargevi his 
 list as he enlarged his finance) was the 
 late unfortuijate Jack Pilkin^ton, of 
 scribbling njemory, who had served 
 the doctor so many tricks, that lie 
 despaired of getting any more money 
 from him, without coming out with a 
 chef d'ocuvre once for all. He ac- 
 cordingly called on the doctor one 
 morning, and running about the room 
 in a tit of joy, told him hi-s fortune 
 was made. " How so Jack *?" says 
 the doctor, " Why," says Jack, " the 
 Duchess of Marlborough, you must 
 know, has lon^ had a strange penchant 
 for a pair of white mice; now, as I 
 know they were sometimes to be had 
 in the East Indies, I commissioned a 
 friend of mine, who was going ou! 
 then, to get them for me, and he is 
 this morning arrived with two of tlu 
 most beautiful little animals in naturt. 
 After Jack had finished this account 
 with a transport of joy, he lengtheucMi 
 his visage, by telling the doctor all 
 was ruined ; for without two guineas, 
 to buy a cage for the mice, he could 
 not present them. The doctor, un- 
 fortunately, as he said himself, had 
 but half a guinea in the world, which 
 he otlered him. But Pilkington was 
 not to be beat out of his scheme ; he 
 perceived the doctor's watch hanging 
 up in his room, and after premising 
 on the indelicacy of the proposal, 
 hinted, that if he could spare that 
 watch for a week, he could raise a 
 few guineas on it, which he would re- 
 pay him with gratitude. The doctor 
 would not be the means of spoiling a 
 man's fortune for such a trifle. He 
 accordingly took down the watch, an.i 
 gave it to him, which Jack immedi- 
 ately took to the pawnbroker's, raised 
 
 wliat he could oJi it, and never once 
 looked after the doctor, till he sent to 
 borrow another half-guinea from him, 
 on his death-bed, which the other, 
 tmder such circumstances, very gene- 
 rously sent hira. 
 
 The Epigram. 
 
 AN Epigram should he — if riglit, 
 .^hort, simple, pointed, keen and bright, 
 
 A I'vely little tiling! 
 I ike Wasp, with taper body — bound 
 t'y lines — not many — neat and round 
 
 All ending in a sting. 
 
 The old Fashion of Travelling. 
 
 IN March 1739, says Mr. Pen- 
 nant, I changed my Welsh school for 
 one nearer to the capita!, and travel- 
 led in the Chester stage, then no des- 
 picable vehicle for country gentlemen. 
 The first day, with much labour, we 
 got from Chester to Whitchurch, 20 
 miles; the second day to the Welsh 
 Harp; the third to Coventry; the 
 fourth to Northampton; the fifth to 
 Dunstable ; and, as a wonderous ef- 
 fort, on the last, to London, before 
 the commencement of the night. The 
 strain and labour of six horses, some- 
 times eight, drew us through the 
 slough of Mireden, and many other 
 places. We were constantly out two 
 hours before day, and as late at night; 
 and in the depth of winter propor- 
 tionably later. Families which tra- 
 velled in their own carriages, con- 
 tracted with Benson and Co. and were 
 dragged up in the same number of 
 'lays, by three sets of able horses. 
 
 The single gentlemen, then a hardy 
 race, equipped in jack boots and trow- 
 sers up to their middle, rode post 
 through thick and thin, and, guarded 
 against the mire, df fied the frequent 
 stumble and fall ; arose and pursued 
 their journey with alacrity; while, in 
 these days, their enervated posterity 
 sleep away their rapid journies in easy 
 chaises, fitted for the conveyance of 
 the soft inhabitants of Svbaris. 
 
 ■ Ff
 
 218 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs ^ Wonderful Events, 
 
 Anecdotes of the Effects of Fear. 
 
 THERE was, in the Turkish em- 
 pire a person who had incurred the dis- 
 pleasure of Ihe bashaw; and as in those 
 countries the sentence of death is only 
 in the disposal of the chief minister 
 of tiie province, so he varies it accortl- 
 inii to hi^ own caprice, or that of his 
 favourite : it happened here, that the 
 sentence was to have the great arteries 
 opened, and the unhappy criminal to 
 bleed to death. But some curious 
 English gentlemen, being at the court, 
 petitioned the bashaw with so good 
 success, that the sentence was re- 
 pealed, and the luan put into their 
 power: every thing had now happened 
 according to these gentlemen's wish, 
 as they had no otherniotives than that 
 of humanity, and the desire to gratify 
 their own curiosity, in seeing how far 
 the apprehension alone of the sen- 
 tence would hurt him. 
 
 When the day of execution came, 
 the unhappy criminal appeared, seated 
 on a machine whicii kept him frotn 
 moving ; at the bottom of which, was 
 a bathing tub: he was then blind- 
 folded, and the executioner, who had 
 received his secret orders, was now 
 told to begin; which he did, by giving 
 him two or three small scratches, and 
 at the same time some small spouts, 
 which had been procured for the pur- 
 pose, were (to carry on the deceit) 
 supplied with warm water, which ran 
 trickling into the bathing tub at the 
 bottom. The deluded victim appeared 
 in ail the agonies of death, and, not- 
 withstanding the utmost magnanimity, 
 with which he had acted on this oc- 
 casion, his mind could not bear an 
 apprehension so dreadful, but nature 
 sunk under the burthen, and he died 
 in a few minutes. 
 
 Another case happened in It^Iy, 
 and was in Mie following manner: 
 
 Nicolo, nianjuis of Ferrara, was 
 tidiCij ill of" a quartan fever, which 
 coutiiiued so violent that his physicians 
 
 ijave him up, and sent him to a house 
 he had on the river Po, for change of 
 ;iir: he took with him one servant, 
 who had th.e greatest rtspect for him; 
 and this servant, having heard that 
 sudden fear was a sovereign remedy 
 for a quartan fever, resolved to try it 
 on his master. Havhii: observed that 
 the marquis walked every day on the 
 banks of the Po, and knowing it was 
 not very deep, he resolved to push 
 him in. A miller, who lived opposite 
 the place, he acquainted with his de- 
 sign, and, having ordered him to be 
 ready with his boat, to take his master 
 up, if there should be occasion, next 
 morning he threw him in, after which 
 he immediately tied to Padua: in the 
 mean time, the miller took up the 
 marquis, who was indeed thoroughly 
 frightened, and vowed to be revenged. 
 So extraordinary a case was the sub- 
 ject of every body's conversation: the 
 marquis caused his servant to be sum- 
 moned before the courts of justice, 
 and, not appearing, he was banished 
 Ferrara, and condemned, if he ever 
 returned thither, to be beheaded. — 
 This news soon reached Padua, not- 
 withstanding which, the servant, in a 
 h\\ days came back to Ferrara, anil 
 desired admittance to the marquis; 
 which was denied, and instead thereof, 
 he was apprehended, and ordered to 
 prepare for execution. The marquis, 
 however, finding himself cured of his 
 fever, his resentment began to abate, 
 and he was determined to save him, 
 but to seem resolved to let the law 
 take its course. A day was fixed for 
 his execution, and all Ferrara thronged 
 to see it performed. The servant ap- 
 peared on the scaffold, with his confes- 
 sor ; who, after protesting he had no 
 other motive than the cure of his mas- 
 ter, laid his head on the block, and 
 gave the fatal signal. The executioner 
 had his orders, before-hand, at that 
 instant to pour some cold water on his 
 neck, which beinir done, the colour 
 left his cheeks, his eyes sunk in his
 
 Inferesfins: Narratives, Em'gmas, Epigrams, Poetri/, S^c. 219 
 
 heal, ail I he dierl in a few moments 
 \vitlK>iit spe.ilvin^ a word. Siicli are 
 the fatal and extraordinary effects of 
 fear on man ; not less than the sudden 
 transports of tlie njosi affecting joy. 
 
 Effecting Anecdote. 
 
 IN the \ear 1 ()()'-, when Paris was 
 afflicted witlj a lonj; and severe <'a- 
 mine, IVI n-ieur de Sallo, returnin-. 
 from a summer's evenin*; walk, accom- 
 panied with only a page, was accosted 
 by a man, who preseiited his pislnl. 
 and, in a manner far fr'sm I'ardened 
 resolsiticn, 'disked him for his money, 
 M. de Sallo ubseiving that he came 
 to the wrous; person, and that he could 
 obtain but little from him, added : 
 *' I have but three pistoles, which 
 are not worih a scutile ; so, much 
 good njay it do you with them; but, 
 like a friend, let me tell you, you are 
 goinw on in a very bad way." The 
 robber took then), and, witliout ask- 
 ing him fir more, walked away, with 
 an air of dejection and terror. 
 
 The fellow was no sooner gone, 
 than M de Sallo ordered his paii;e to 
 follow the robber, to observe where 
 he went, and to bring him an account 
 of all he should discover. The boy 
 obeyed, pursued him through several 
 obscure streets, and, at length, saw 
 hinj enter a baker's shop, where he 
 observed him change one of the ))is- 
 toles, and buy a large brown loaf. 
 With this salutary purchase the rob- 
 ber went a few doors further, and, 
 entering an alley, ascendecj several 
 pair of stairs. The boy crept up after 
 him to the topmost story, where he 
 saw him go into a room, which was 
 Eo otherwise illuminated than by the 
 friendly light of the moon; and, 
 peepiiig through a crevice, he per- 
 ceived the wretched man cast tlie loaf 
 on l!ie floor, and, hursting into tears, 
 cry out: "There, eat your fill, this 
 is the dearest loaf I ever bought : I 
 have robbed a gentleman of three 
 
 pistoles; let us husband them well, 
 and let me have no more teazings; 
 for, soon or late, these doings must 
 bring me to ruin." His wife having 
 calmed the agony of his mind, took 
 up the loaf, and cutting it, gave four 
 pieces to four poor starving children. 
 The page having thus performed 
 his comnsission, returned home, and 
 cave his master an account of all he 
 had seen and heard. Sallo, who was 
 much moved, commanded the boy to 
 call him at five next morning. He 
 rose accordingly, and took his boy 
 with him, to shew the way : he en- 
 quired of his neighbours the character 
 of a man who lived in such a garret, 
 with a wife and four children; by 
 whom he wus informed, that he was 
 a very industrious nsan, a tender hus- 
 batid, and a quiet neighbour; that his 
 occupation was that of a shoemaker, 
 and that he was a neat workman, but 
 was over-burdened with a family, and 
 struggled hard to live in such dear 
 times. Satisiied with this account, 
 iNl. de Sallo ascended to the shoe- 
 maker's lodging, and knocking at the 
 door, it was opened by the unhappy 
 man himself; who, knowing him at 
 hrst sight to be the gentleman whom 
 he had robbed, prostrated himself at 
 his feet. M. de Sallo desired him to 
 make no noise, assuring him that he 
 had not the least intention to hurt 
 him. " You have a good character, 
 £aid he, among your neighhours; but 
 you must expect your life will be cut 
 short, if you are so wicked as to con- 
 tinue the freedoms you took with me. 
 Hold your hand ; here are thirty pis- 
 toles, lo buy leatiier; husband it well, 
 and set your cliildren a laudable ex- 
 ample. To put you out of further 
 temptations to commit such ruinous 
 and fatal actions, I will encourage 
 your industry. I hear you are a neat 
 workman; you shall therefore, at this 
 time, take measure of me and my lad 
 for two pair of shoes eacli, and h« 
 shall call upon you for them." 
 Ff 2
 
 220 Literari/ Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 The whole family seemed absorbed 
 in joy: amazement and grntitiide, in 
 some measQre, deprived them of 
 speech. M. de Sallo departed, greatly 
 moved, and with a mind repleie with 
 satisfaction, at having saved a man, 
 and perhaps a faiiiily, froRi the com- 
 mission of gnilt, from 'an ignominious 
 death, and periiaps from everlasting 
 destruction. 
 
 John and Joan. 
 
 NO plate had John ;uid Joan (o hoard. 
 
 Plain folk, in hnmble plight ; 
 One only Tankard crownd their board. 
 
 And that was fill'd each night. 
 
 Along whose inner bottom, sketch'd, 
 
 In pride of chubby grace ; 
 Some rude engraver's hand had etch'd, 
 
 A baby angel's face. 
 
 John swallow'd first, a moderate sup, 
 
 But Joan was not like John ; 
 For, when her lips once fouch'd the cup, 
 
 She swill'd till all was gone. 
 
 John ortennrg'd her to drink fair, 
 
 But she ne'er changed a jot ; 
 She loved to see the angel there, 
 
 And, therefore, drain'd the pot. 
 
 When John found all remonslrance vain, 
 
 Another card he play'd ; 
 And, where the angel stood so plain, 
 
 A Devil got pourtray'd, 
 
 Joan saw the horns, Joan saw the tail, 
 
 Yet Joan as stoutly quaff'd ; 
 And ever, when she seiz'd her ale, 
 
 She clear'd it at a draught. 
 
 Johnstar'd, with wonder petrified. 
 
 His hairs rose on bis pate; 
 And — " Why dost guzzle now ?" he cried, 
 " At this enormous rate?" 
 
 " O John," says she " am I to blame? 
 
 " I can't in conscience stop ; 
 "For, sure, 'twould be a burning shame, 
 
 '• To leave the Devil a drop !'' 
 
 On an Usurer. 
 
 HERE lyes be, underneath this stone, 
 That, whilst he liied, did good to none. 
 And therefore at (he point to dye 
 More cause had some to laugh than cry. 
 His eldest sonne thought he had wrong, 
 Because be lingered out so long. 
 ^ot now he's dead, how ere he fares 
 There's no one knows, nor none that cares. 
 
 Singular Prophecies 
 
 WHF.N ronstirig-jack>! are water-mills. 
 And milk-pails worsted stockings ; 
 When mountains change to small moie'hills, 
 And serious truths are mockings; 
 When silver spoons are leather thongs, 
 And pickled sai.iion milk; 
 SVhen muslin bonnets are tea-tongs, 
 And copper saucepans silk — 
 
 Then, England, woe to thee'. 
 
 When Thames and Lea are changed to moats. 
 And wether mutton veal; 
 When frying-pins areturn'd to boats. 
 And dough to Swedish steel ; 
 When leaden spouts are judges' wigs, 
 iind palac.s pig-styes ; 
 I ondon's three bridges dancing jigs, 
 And Truth a telling lies- 
 Then, England, woe to Ibee ! 
 
 When money's had at two per cent. 
 
 And bank notes turn to dancers ; 
 
 When happiness is discontent. 
 
 And wolves are Polish lancers ; 
 
 When learned dogs ascend the bench, 
 
 And women are not praters ; 
 
 When sharks and whales are chub and tench, 
 
 And lions tavern -waiters — 
 
 Then, England, woe to thee! 
 
 When dying speeches are bell-ropes. 
 And men a hanging carrots; 
 When greedy hogs are holy popes, 
 And frogs and toads Poll-parrots; 
 When butterflies are beaux and belles. 
 And lapstones toasted cheese : 
 When bishops dance at Sadler's Wells, 
 And lawyers take no fees — 
 
 Then, England, woe to thee I 
 
 When tinder is both flint and steel, 
 .And pancakes sing in chorus; 
 When misers' hearts are made to feel. 
 And our backside's before us; 
 When sugar-plums are tennis-balls. 
 And grow in ladies' pockets ; 
 When Billingsgate is in St. Paul's, 
 And rushlights Congreve rockets — 
 
 Then, Engiand, woe to thee ! 
 
 When kings & queens arethree-legg'd slools, 
 
 .And millstones downy pillows; 
 
 When wisest men are arrant fools. 
 
 And black-thorn bushes willows ; 
 
 W'hen Monday morning's Saturday nighf. 
 
 And Tuesday falls on Sunday: 
 
 WTien blackamoors are washed white. 
 
 And every week's but one day — 
 
 Then, England, woe to thee! 
 
 When British seamen cowards turn. 
 And Frenchmen cease to dance ; 
 When Stoics with hot passions burn, 
 Andcertaiu'.y is chance; 
 
 .^'
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epis^rains,' Poetry, SfC. 921 
 
 When pensioners refuse (heir pe!f. 
 And patriots cease to bpiwl ; 
 Wiien egotists spurn 1 n>y»elf. 
 And crown and mitre fall — 
 
 Then, Engiand, v.oetothee! 
 
 Amours arid Marriages of the Arabs. 
 
 AS the Arabs have no manner of 
 conversation witli any women, old or 
 young, but their own, they cannot 
 possibly be in love but by iniauinalion, 
 or upon ti;e character that has been 
 given of them. They never come 
 near nor see tliem even in public, but 
 by chance, and at a" distance; the 
 young women's faces are always cover- 
 ed with a veil, or some piece of linen : 
 the young men take a fancy to tliem 
 from the usual {graces of gait, size, 
 voice, and, whatever else is attractive 
 in their exterior, as they are passing 
 by, or when they have an oj)port unity 
 of talkiiig one moment with them. 
 They then study for a way of seeing 
 them without being seen: they hide 
 themselves in some tent at the places 
 they pass, or behind the bushes near 
 the springs, which they frequent for 
 water; for there they commonly chat 
 with their companions uncovered. 
 When the girls have any inclinalion 
 for the young fellows that court them, 
 they afford them a sufficient opportu- 
 nity of being seen, by dropping the 
 corner of the veil which is held up bv 
 their teeth, just as they pass them", 
 and catching it up again as quick as 
 possible, as if the discovery of their 
 face had been from tlie accidental slip 
 of their veil. The sparks sometimes 
 lie concealed at a relation's, or at the 
 house of some woman who can oblige 
 them with a view of their mistress ; 
 the young female and her mother are 
 then sent for under some trifling pre- 
 tence, and the lover has all that tim< 
 to gaze on lier; if he like her, he 
 applies to sonje of his relations to j)ro- 
 cure her father's consent. They then 
 bargain about the price of the daugh- 
 ter, which the son-in-law is to pay his 
 
 new father in camels, sheep, or horses, '' 
 because the Arabs keep no ready 
 money by them, all their estate lying 
 in cattle. A young fellow that has a 
 wish to marry, must in good earnest 
 buy himself a wife ; fathers amongst 
 the Arabs aie never hajjpicr. than 
 when they h;ive abundance of daugh- 
 ters. They are the principal riches of 
 a fatnily; accordingly, when a bachelor 
 liimself is treating with the person, 
 whose daughter he is desirous of mar- 
 rying, he says to him, " Will you 
 cive me your daughter for fifty sheep, 
 for haU-a-dozen camels, or for a dozen 
 cows]" &c. If he be not in circum- 
 stances to make such offers as these, 
 he proposes to give her for a mare or 
 colt, all, in short, according to the 
 yjrVs merit, the condition of iter fa- 
 mily, and the income of her intended 
 bridegroom. When both parties are 
 agreed, they get the contract drawn 
 up by the person the Arabs have cho- 
 sen amoiig themselves, to perform the 
 oiiice of Cadee or Judge, or by the 
 Prince's secretary, to w honi they give 
 a share of their bargain, if they are 
 people considerable enough so to do. 
 The cadee, or secretary, writes the 
 names of the witnesses at the bottom 
 of the covenant, after those of the 
 parties, which is accounted to be suffi- 
 cient for the purpose. Poor folks 
 who cannot be at the expense of an 
 instrimient, only take witnesses, and 
 marry by word of mouth, pajing 
 upon the spot whatever has been 
 agreed for. Then the relations of 
 the intended bride and bridegroom 
 eat and make merry together, receive 
 compliments, and appoint a day for 
 the perforit ance of the ceremony. 
 
 The women carry the bride to the 
 first village where there are any hot- 
 baths, where they wash her, put on 
 her finest clothes, atd perfutne her 
 hair witli storax, Benjainin, n)usk, and 
 
 nch other sweets; black the edges of 
 her eyelids aixl eyebrows, jn»t ground 
 colours upon her face that is already
 
 222 JJlerary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 greased with essence, tipon which liie\ 
 flirow gold dust, such as we put on 
 writing; redden her nails with Khena, 
 and with a certain ink draw out figures 
 flowers, fountains, houses, cypresses, 
 antelopes, and other animals, upmi 
 every part of her body. They dress 
 her up likewise with phiin and stone 
 rings, with all sorts of gcdd and silvi r 
 luonev, according to l:er quality and 
 circunjstances: they afterwards mount 
 her upon a maie or caniel, covered 
 with a carpet, aiid adorned wiJi 
 flowers and greens, and with this cqui- 
 j)age conthict her to the place where 
 she is to be married, cliaunling out 
 iier praises, and their wishes, fur the 
 prospeity of her marriage. The 
 men, on their side, take the bride- 
 groom to the b»gnio, dress him wili; 
 ali tiie sprurest thi igs he has, an; 
 carry him hack again on ho»-sebark 
 instate: when tliey are all come t<> 
 the place of meet ng, the men and the- 
 wcnaen sit down at a table in differe;;! 
 hu!s, wluret!e\ have a wedding en 
 tertainnient, and receive the compH- 
 meiits of the.r arcjuaintances, whicii 
 are only wishes of a handsome family, 
 jibundance of children, and ail the 
 happiness and prosperiiy in the world. 
 The nsen are merry without noise, 
 behaving with .ureat gravity and mo- 
 deration in all those ceremonies: the 
 women, on ihe contrary, sing, scream, 
 and tabor it away, bawling out the 
 beauty and advantages of the bride 
 till evening, when they lead her to the 
 tent they Isave prepared for their re- 
 feptioii. Every one prays to God, 
 that he will preserve the two lovers 
 from tite eyes of envy, and from all 
 the spelis that mischievous peo})le 
 might cast upon the match. 
 
 Epitaph on a IVrestler. 
 
 ITERE lies a njanbenealti tliisslone, 
 WliooHen threw, but ne'er was tlirown ; 
 Before tiim his antag'nisls fell, 
 As many a brokrsi sconce can tell, 
 lieath said — ' I'ii try this man of strength ;' 
 And here beiS; laid at fail lenglh! 
 
 Description of a remartcab/e Stone 
 Bridge, formed by a petrifi/ing 
 Spiing. 
 
 IN the neighbourhood of Clermonf, 
 in Avergne, a province of France, are 
 wells, wherein any substances being 
 laid soon contract a lapideous crust ; 
 but the most remarkable of these is 
 that in the suburb of S. Allire, which 
 has formed the famous stone ! ridge, 
 mentioned by so many liijiorians. It 
 is a f^'lid vo«k ci>mposed of .several 
 strath, iormed duiing the course of 
 tnuny years, by the petrifying waters 
 of this spring ruiniing over it. It has 
 no cavity or arches till after above 
 sixty paces in length, where the ri- 
 vulet ot Tiretaine forces its way 
 tiirough. This petrifying spring which 
 falls on a mucli liigher ground tharj 
 the bed of the rivulet, gradually 
 ■eaves behind it some iapideous mat- 
 ter, and thus in process of time has 
 f rmed an arch, through whicii the 
 Tiretaii.e has a free p.issage. The 
 necessity which this petrifying matter 
 seemed to be under of forming itself 
 into an arch, could continue no longer 
 than the breadth of (he rivulet; after 
 which, the water of the spring ran 
 regularly again under it, and there 
 foriijed a new petrifaction, resembling 
 a pillar. The inljabitants of these 
 parts, to lengthen this wonderful 
 bridge, have diverted the brook out 
 of its old channel, and made it to 
 pass close by the pillar, whereby the 
 spring formed a second arch; and 
 thus as many arches and pillars as 
 they please might, by the same means, 
 have been produced. liut the great 
 resort of people to see this natural 
 curiosity, became troublesome to the 
 Benedictines of the abbey of S. Allire, 
 within whose jurisdiction the spring 
 lies. In order to lessen its petrifying 
 virlue, they divided the stream into 
 several branches, which has so well 
 answered their inti nt, that at present 
 it onlv covers with a thin crust, those
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry/, SfC. 223 
 
 bodies on which it falls perpendicu- 
 laily ; but in those, over which it 
 runs in its ordinary course, no traces 
 of this petrifviiiw quality are any 
 longer perceivable. It is the oiiU 
 drinking water in this suburb, and nu 
 bad eft'ect is felt from it. 
 
 The Atheist. 
 
 CAPTAIN Miickfitz had evpi\ 
 thing in his piime : ho had killed h- 
 man, ruined his woman, broke h,- 
 taylor, kicked waiters out of wimlovw, 
 and humme<l the par>ops; he huii 
 been a free thinker, a fine gentleman. 
 a buck, blood, and free speaker ; 
 quite the thing as a toast-master ; and 
 one of the highest fcHows formerly 
 about the gardens. All the wonieii. 
 both on and oft the town, were fond 
 of him. There was not a remarkable 
 club, fit for a gentleman and man ot 
 fashion to be admitted into, but he 
 was made a member of that society. 
 
 But alas ! as the finest linen may, 
 when grown old and much worn, be 
 made into tinder, so natural is it for 
 bloods about town, when old and 
 worn out, with tinder-like constitu- 
 tions, to twinkle to the last in the 
 same rotten condition. 
 
 The captain had, for some time 
 past, been a casual dependant on a 
 publican, for board and lodging ; but 
 the poor gentleman falling sick, was 
 removed out of the alehouse garret, 
 and carried into an untenanted house, 
 where an uncurtained bedstead, a 
 flock bed, and two or three hospital 
 blankets were laid for him to die on. 
 
 It is common for chimney sweep- 
 ers to mark a house which is not in- 
 habited, and steal up the first time 
 they find the door open, to get the 
 soot away. The maid of the alehouse 
 had one morning been very early to 
 see how the captain was, because 
 she had dreamed of him the night 
 before three times successively; com- 
 ing down carelessly she left the door 
 
 a-jar, this, two chimney eweep boys 
 saw, and up stairs they darted, into 
 the room were the captain was, who, 
 at the very instant, had taken up the 
 chamber pot and was kneeling on the 
 bed ; but at their appeanuice dowa 
 he sunk, (iightid, oveisct the earthen- 
 ware urinal, and crept under the bed 
 clothes in a very wet, terrified, and 
 |)itiful condition. The boys did not 
 mind him, but went about their 
 \\i>xk up the chimney. 
 
 Dr. Space presently came up stairs 
 to see the captain ; they had been 
 many years intimates. The doctor 
 was a great materialist and disprover 
 of religion, a philo-opher, orator, and 
 syllogism maker to tiie farthing fields 
 society. Now, although the phy- 
 sician was a fiee thinker, because he 
 was a scholar, the captain, who was 
 a fine gentleman, was no thinker at 
 all, but took his friend's opinion as 
 he did his medicines, upon trust. 
 
 Space walked into the room with 
 all imaginable quack consequence, 
 like an over salaried player strutting 
 at rehearsal, came to the bedside and 
 called out, " captain, captain Mack- 
 fitz." The captain, shoving up the 
 bed clothes with his hand, discovered 
 himself under a dirty nightcap, and 
 bis lank cheeks, lengthened by the 
 fright like an optical picture, and 
 large globules of sweat standing in 
 the wrinkles of his forehead, like 
 pebbles in a ploui;h furrow, looking 
 gastfully on his physical friend. '\'\\q 
 doctor seated himself on the bed side, 
 took hold of his patient's hiind, and 
 the following dialogue passed between 
 them: — 
 
 Doctor, My dear captain Fi(z, 
 here is a foetid smell which intrudes 
 itself upon my olfactories; pray how 
 do you do ? 
 
 Captain. Do— do — wliy I am 
 damned; that's all; and you are 
 damned; and we are both damned; 
 and there's two little devils gone up the 
 chimney, waiting till the wind rises, to 
 take away our souls.
 
 224 Lilerar}/ Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Doctor. Ca[it{iin, your ideas are 
 coagulated : your pia and dura mater 
 act inconclnsively ; the sensofium of 
 your pineal gland is obnubialed ; the 
 \alvcs of your imagination being too 
 much relased to retain confact, you 
 have a lucid caput. 
 
 Captain. Capot ! yes, it is a capot, 
 and a rcpique too! Lucifer will le- 
 pique us, and we are damned, I tell 
 you! can't you say one prayer for us 
 both ? do try, perhaps that would 
 drive the devils off for an hour or so: 
 stay, I can say some of the Belief my- 
 self. As it was in the beginning In 
 now — but I can't go on with it ; lord, 
 lord, what a rogue have I been ! I 
 inust be a fine gentleman indeed, and 
 cut jokes upon Heaven, ju«t to make 
 the ladies laugh, and no\v Belzebub 
 ■will make me howl foi it. I have 
 often said that women have no souls, 
 I wish I had no soul. What will be- 
 come of me ? 
 
 Doctor. Captain, I will investi- 
 gate the nonentity of such ideas in- 
 stantaneously; the soul is nothing 
 more than an cxhi'arated vapour, 
 which rises from the organs being put 
 in motion, as you would observe 
 smoke issue from the axle-tree of a 
 broad wheel waggon. As to talking of 
 «iovils, it is all a fable, and you have 
 the roinance of it in Paradise Lost. 
 
 Captain. Yes, yes, I have lost 
 Paradis-e sure enough? what a miser- 
 able sinner 1 am. The devil fetch 
 ine. Lord forgive me for saying such 
 wicked words. If I could live my 
 time over again, before I'd be a buck, 
 or a blood, ur a high fellow, I'd 
 black shoes. How many fine women's 
 jejjutations ha-ve I taken away wrong- 
 fuilj I I shall be tossed upon the 
 j)()iiiis of their pitchfoiks, from one 
 little devil to another, for thai. Then 
 I debauched my friend's wife, and 
 told of it afterwari^ : they'll pull out 
 in\ tongue, with red hot pincers for 
 ti.iat. 
 
 Doctor. Captain, 1 intrcat atteti- 
 
 tion : corporeal sensibilities are cx- 
 tir<2uished upon a dissolution of the 
 material oraan, I therefore succinct- 
 fully will elucidate, discriminately, 
 that such phantoms are heteroge- 
 neous. 
 
 Captain. O lord ! no more of 
 your unintellijiibleness; you ustd to 
 tell me there was no Hell ! and I was 
 such a f( ol as to believe you, for I 
 was too fine a fellow to read myself. 
 Now, what signifies all your argu- 
 ments when there are two little devils 
 up the chimney come to confute 
 them? If you can dispute with them, 
 do: you used to be an orator, and 
 make speeches; do talk to the brace 
 of diabolical ambassadors up the 
 chimney, if they'll take my parole 
 for three or four years : but they wont, 
 for Belzebub has sent an action 
 against both of us. I wish some 
 good christian would give bail to it. 
 
 Just at that instnnt the boys had 
 filled their sacks, and down they drop- 
 ped on tiie hearth ; the room was 
 instantly filled with soot dust. The 
 doctor was struck 'Speechless, and 
 the captain once more retreated be- 
 neath the bed clothes, and creeping 
 out at the foet, bending like a posture 
 master, got that way under 'he bed, 
 praying all the while, as well as he 
 could, they would cany his friend to 
 Hell without him. 
 
 The two boys lugged the sacks 
 along the room, which the doctor 
 observed, and turning down the 
 blankets, and not finding his friend in 
 bed, firmly believed the devils were 
 dragging him off, and fearing his turn 
 would come next, opened the sash, 
 crept out upon the penthouse, and 
 was sliding olV into the street, but, 
 luckily for him, a baker's boy, with 
 an enipty ba^kct, going by, received 
 him ; but the weight brought them 
 both to the ground, the doctor crying 
 out, "For God's sake help! help! 
 there are two devils in that house 
 flying away with my friend."
 
 Interesting^ Narratives, Enigmas^ Fpigravis^ Poefrt/, See. 225 
 
 Avvav the ciowd run up stair>-, 
 just as the two bo\> had hrousht the 
 sack init of the room to the lunding 
 place; but they, hearing people below, 
 ran up a pair ot" stairs higher, and 
 left the sack upright at the door. 
 The mob seeins something black 
 standing upon the stair-head, halted, 
 and called a council- The captain, 
 N who by this time had put hi-^ head 
 and two hands f:om underneath the 
 bed, and looked like an overgrown 
 I turtle, at the sound of the human 
 voices, cried out. His wet shitt was 
 iiow dirt dried, covered with woolly 
 sweeping, his nisihtcap off and hair 
 frizzed, he lookeil like a mad Hotten- 
 tot. In that figure, bare-t"ooted, he 
 padded to the room-door. The mob, 
 seeing him corning, called out, " the 
 tlevil !" and ran down stairs. He 
 tumbled over the sack, the soot came 
 out after him, and ail covered with 
 du-'t he trampled out of doors and 
 ran over the way. It happened to be 
 a barber's shop, who had just lathere .' 
 a customer; confusion inimediateiy 
 took possessson of the family ; the 
 man in the suds ran one way, the 
 barber another, the apprentice hid 
 himself in the necessary house, and 
 the wife crept into the washing tub, 
 while captain Fitz. availing himself ot 
 the affright, unperceived crept up into 
 the first ffoor, which was rentecl by a 
 gill of the town, and she was dead 
 drunk in bed, into which the captaui 
 creot in that miserable condition. 
 
 Royal Anecdote. 
 KING James once went out of 
 his way to hear a noted preacher. 
 The clergyman seeing the king enter 
 lelt his text to declaim against swi'ar- 
 ing, for which that king was noton- 
 ous. When done, James thanked 
 him for his sermon, but asked, what 
 connection swearing had with it? He 
 aniiwered, "Since your majesty came 
 out of your way, 1 could not do less 
 than go out of mine." 
 
 J neir M. P 
 
 A DOG having; one day got into 
 the House of Common"*, i-y his bark- 
 i'lg interrupted Lord. North, who 
 happened -to be openina one of his 
 budgets. His L!>rd?hip pleasantly 
 inquired by what new oppositionist 
 he was attacked 1 A wag replied, 
 " It was a member for Bark- 
 shire," 
 
 Lines written on the IVainscot of a Room 
 at an Inn in Linlithgow, in Scotland. 
 
 PRAY vrhat is lijfhtertlian a feather? 
 
 Dns!, my friend, in drie«t weather. 
 
 What ii^iiter (haathat dust I pray? 
 
 The wind that drives it far away, 
 
 !^ay what is lighter than the wind? 
 
 The ijohtnees of a woman's mind. 
 
 i'e'.l me what's li2:hter than this last? 
 
 — Xay— now, my friend, you have me fast. 
 
 Advantages of a quick Wife. 
 
 ''THY wi(V>is a drone, my good neighbour, 
 I fear," 
 Said lusty joung Willi m to Dick; 
 " If e'er 'tis my fate to he married, I swear, 
 " I will wed one who's lively and quick." 
 In a fortnight, or less, William married a 
 lass, 
 A lass neither pretty nor mild; 
 She was quick, you'll suppose,— and, ia 
 faith, so sue was, 
 For ia six weeks she brought him a child ! 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 LADY Wallace, celebrated in Scot- 
 land for wit and beautv, h:ippening 
 to be at ati assembly at Edinburgh, 
 a young gentleman, the son of his 
 iNLije-ity's printer, who ba i the paient 
 lor publi-liing bibles, made his appear- 
 Hiice, diessed in green and gold, 
 iieing a new lace, and extremely 
 Jcaaiit,. he attracted the attention of 
 ilie whole company, A general mur- 
 ';iur prevailed in the rooai, to know 
 who he was] Lady W e in- 
 stantly made answer, loud enough to 
 oe he.ird, •' Oh, don't you know hiin ? 
 't iai/onns; Bible, bound in catj and 
 ^'dt, but not Httr'd,"
 
 226 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wonderful EvoHs, 
 
 Account of the Earthquake at Lisbon; 
 from the iVritings of a Spectator. 
 
 THERF. never was a finer inoriiin 
 seen than the first of November 17.53 
 I'he sun shone in his fnil lustre, anr' 
 the whole face of the sky was perfect- 
 ly serene and clear. Not the least sig- 
 nal or warning was afforded of that 
 approaching event, which rendered 
 the once flourishing, opulent and po- 
 pulous city of Lisbon a scene of the 
 utmost horror and desolalion 
 
 On the morning of tliis fatal day. 
 between the hours of nine and ten, J 
 was sitting in my apartment, and had 
 just finished a letter, when the table 
 1 was writing on began to tremble 
 with a gentle moliop, w hich surprised 
 me, as I could not jierceive a breath 
 of wind stirring. Whilst I was re- 
 flecting on what could be the cause, 
 the whole h( use began to shake from 
 l(»e very foundation, which at first 1 
 imi>uted to the rattling of coaches in 
 the street; but on listening more at- 
 tentively, I found it was owing to a 
 Itighlful noise under ground resemb- 
 ling the nimbhiig <!f distant thunder. 
 All this passed in less than a minute. 
 1 now began to be alarmed, as it oc- 
 curred to me, that the noise might 
 possibly be the presage of an approach- 
 ing ffiriiiquake. 
 
 I threw down mv pen, and started 
 upon my feet, remaining ibr a moment 
 ill suspense, whether I should stay in 
 liie aj)artment, or lun into the street ; 
 but in a uioment 1 was roused from 
 ii;y dream, being stunned with a most 
 liojnd trash, as though e\e(y edifice 
 j>i the city had tumbled down at once, 
 'i'he house I was in shook with such 
 violence, that the upper sU)rits iuiiue- 
 <ii.ilely fell in; and tii.'tii;h my apart- 
 liien! (w hieh was tilt fu. t tioin) ilid 
 n<(l iniUU'dialel) shore the sume file, 
 Ne( every thing was thrown oul of it;, 
 place, and it was uilii ^iitiiculiy i Kepi 
 my ft-et. 1 expietid jioi'iing less lliui 
 to be crushed tu deaih, uS the vvuiis 
 
 coutimicd rocking to and fro in the 
 
 iio.sl fiightful manner, and ojiening in 
 
 everal places; large stuiies lell down 
 
 >u every side from the cracks, i*!ul the 
 
 nds of most of the rafters started at 
 
 I he same time Irom the wall. The 
 
 ky in a moment became so gioomy, 
 
 iat I could distinguish no particular 
 
 bject. It was an Egyptian darKuess, 
 
 iuch as might be felt; owing to the 
 
 prodigious clouds of dust and lime, 
 
 ciised from so violent a concussion, 
 
 ^md from the overthrow of so many 
 
 buildings, and, as some reported, from 
 
 sulphurous exhalations. However, 
 
 it is certain that \ found myself almost 
 
 ehoaked for nearly ten nunules. 
 
 As soon as the gloom began to dis- 
 perse, and the violence of the shock 
 to abate, the first object I perceived 
 in my room was a woman sitting on the 
 floor, with an infant in her arms, co- 
 vered with dust, pale and trembling. 
 I a,sked her how she came there; but 
 her consternation was so great, that 
 she could give me no account. She 
 asked nie, in the utmost i-gony, if I 
 did not think the world was at an end ; 
 at the same time she complained ( f 
 being choaktd, and begged I would 
 procure her a little drink. I told her 
 she must not think of tjuenching her 
 thirst, but of saving her life, as the 
 house was just falling on our heads, 
 and a second shock would certainly 
 bury us. 
 
 1 hurried down stairs, the woman 
 with me holding by my arm, and 
 made directly to that end of the street 
 which opens to the river Tagus: but 
 finding the passage entirely blocked 
 up by the fiilien houses, I turned back; 
 having helped the woman over a vast 
 hcHp of ruins, with no small hazard 
 to m\ own life. Just as I've v» ere going 
 liito tlie stieet, there was one part 
 .viiieh I couhl not climb over wilhout 
 he assistance of my hands as well as 
 my feet. 1 therefoie desired her to 
 lei iio her hold, vvhich slie divl, re- 
 mainin» two ur ihice feet behind me ;
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, Sec. 2i?7 
 
 I 
 
 and at t!iis innni(-iit tlie-e fell a va»t 
 stone fronj a tottering wall, and criisli- 
 ed both lier and ihe child in pirct-s. 
 
 I had now a long narrow street to 
 pass, in which the houses on each side 
 were four or five stories hish, ail verv 
 old, i;n I thy greater part already 
 thrown down, or continualiv faliintr, 
 Hnd threatening the passengers with 
 death at every step, numbers of whom 
 Jay killed before me, or what was 
 ii:or€ ne|)lorab'e, so wounded and 
 bruised, that they ci^ulil not move so 
 as to escape the destruction which 
 impended over them 
 
 As self-preservation, however, is the 
 first law of nature, I proceeded on 
 as fast as I couid ; and having got 
 clear of the narrow street, I found 
 myself in safety in the larjrs open 
 space bf'fore St Paul's church, whicii 
 liad been iimwu down a few niinutc> 
 before, and had buried a great i>a't 
 of a ininurous congregation ! Here I 
 stood some time, considrring what { 
 siioidd do; but not tiiinkiiig myself 
 safe, I climbed over the ruins of the 
 Avest end of the church, to get to the 
 livir -Side, that I might be removed 
 as far as possible from the tottering 
 houses, in the dreaded event of a 
 second shock. 
 
 Tiiis, with some difHculty, I accom- 
 plished ; and by the river-side 1 found 
 a prodigious coijtourse of hotii sexes, 
 and of all ranks and conditions. A,ll 
 these, whom their mulual dangers 
 had here assenibit d as to a place of 
 safety, were on their knees at prayers, 
 with the terrors of death in their 
 countenances, every one striking his 
 breast, and crying out incessantly to 
 Heaven fi)r mercy and proteclicn. 
 
 In the midst of our devotions, the 
 second great shock came with little 
 less violence than the first, aud it 
 coujpleted the ruin of those buildini;s 
 which had already beer, nmch shat- 
 tered. The consternation now became 
 so universal, that slirieks and cries 
 could be dislinctlv heard from a con- 
 
 siderable distance: at the :-:metime 
 we heard the fail of the pari>h-cliurch, 
 whereby many were killed on the spot. 
 The force of this shock was so great, 
 that I could scarcely support myself 
 on my knees; and it was attended 
 with some circumstances still more 
 dreadful than the forn)er. On a sud- 
 den I heard a general cry, " The sea 
 is coming in; we siiaU a!! be lost." 
 Upon this, turning my eyes towards 
 the river Tagus, which i:i that place 
 is near four miles broad, I perceived 
 it heavin:: and swelling in a nsost un- 
 accountable manner, for no wind was 
 stirring. In an instant there appeared, 
 at a small distance, a large body of 
 water, rising like a mountain. It 
 approached foaming and roaring, and 
 rushed toward t!ie shore with such 
 rapidity, that we ail ran for our lives, 
 ;is fast as possible. Many were actu- 
 .illy swept away: for my own part, [ 
 had a narrow escape, and should cer- 
 laiidy i.ave been lost had I not grasped 
 a larae beam that lay on the ground, 
 till the water returned ajjain to its 
 channel, which it did almost at the 
 same instant, with equal rapidity. 
 
 As there now appeared at least as 
 much danger from the sea as the land, 
 I scarcely knew v.hither to retire for 
 safety : 1 therefore took a sudden re- 
 solution to return back to the area of 
 St. ['aul's. Here I stood some tim«*, 
 and observed the ships tumbhng and 
 tossing about, as in a violent storm. 
 Some had broken their cables, and 
 were carried to the other side cf the 
 Tagus, others were whirled round 
 with incredible swifti.ess, several large 
 boats were turned keel upwards; and 
 all this without any wind. It was at 
 this time, that the new quay, built of 
 rough marble, was entirely swallowed 
 lip, with all the people on it, who 
 iiad tied there for safety, and had 
 reason to considir themselves out of 
 danger. At the sime tune, a treat 
 number of boats and small vessels, 
 which were anchored near it, all full
 
 228 Literary Ciiriosiiiesy Epitaphs^ fVondcrful Enents, 
 
 of !>fople, (who had retired to them 
 for the saiii»; purpose) wne ali swal- 
 lowed up, as in a whirlpool, and 
 never nil ire appeared. 
 
 I did not see this last drendful inci- 
 dent with my own eyes, as it occurred 
 a quarter of a mile from tiie spot 
 v\'iiere 1 was; but I ha«1 the accouut 
 from sevrral masters of ships, wiio 
 were anchored near tiie quay, anu 
 who saw the whole catastrophe. One 
 of them informed me, that during the 
 second shock, he p^ rceived the wiiole 
 city niovimi; backwards and forwards, 
 like the sea w hen the wind first begins 
 to rise; and that the a«itati(»n of the 
 earth was so I'jeat, even under th< 
 river, th^t it threw up his large anchor 
 from the m'»orinir, which seemed to 
 swim Oil tiie surface of the water. 
 That immediately on this extraordi- 
 nary concussion, the river rose at once 
 near twenty feet, and in a moment 
 subsided ; at which instant lie saw the 
 quay, with th<J immense concourse of 
 people upon it, sink down : and at 
 the *anie linie, the boats and vessels 
 that were near it were also drawn into 
 the cavity, which instantly closed, 
 inasmuch as no sisn of a wreck was 
 ever afterwards seen. I went niyself 
 in a few days, but could not even tind 
 the ruins of a place where I had taken 
 so many agreeable walks: I found it 
 all deep water, and in some parts so 
 deep as scarcely to be firthonied. 
 
 I had not been long in the area of 
 St. Paul's church-yaid, when I felt 
 the tliird shock; which though less 
 violent than the former, the sea rush- 
 ed in a^ain, but retired in like manner. 
 I took notice that the waters retired 
 so iiLpetuously, as to leave some ves- 
 sels quiie dry, which rode in seven- 
 fathom water. 
 
 . Perhaps you may think the subject 
 concluded : but, alas ! the horrors of 
 this day are sufficient to till a volume. 
 As soon as it grew dark in the evening, 
 another scene presented itself little 
 less siiocking than those already de- 
 
 scribed. The whole city appeared in 
 a blaze, so bright that I could see to 
 read. It was without exaggeration 
 on fire in a hundred different plarer, at 
 once, and it continued binning for 
 six days together, without intern)!-;- 
 sion, or witlsout the least attempt 
 being made to stop its {)rogress, such 
 were the distress and consternation of 
 the survivors. 
 
 I could never learn tlraf this terrible 
 fire was owing to any subterraneous 
 eruption. The first of Noveniber 
 being All Saints' day, every altar in 
 every church and chapel (some of 
 which have more than twenty) was 
 illuminated vvith a number of wax 
 tapers and lamps; which setting fire 
 to the curtains arid tind)er work that 
 fell with the shock, the confl-igration 
 soon spread to the ntiKhbouring 
 houses. The fire, in consequence, 
 destroyed the whole city, at least 
 every thing that was grand or valuable. 
 
 The number of persons that perish- 
 ed, including those who were burnt; 
 or weie afterwards crushed to death 
 whiht digging in the ruins, is supposed 
 on the lowest calculation, to iiave 
 amounted to more than sixty thousand! 
 This extensive and opulent city was 
 nothing but a vast heap of ruins; 
 the rich and poor were all uj)on a 
 level, and some thousands of families 
 who but the day before had been 
 easy in their circunistancY's, were scat- 
 tered in the fields, wanting every con- 
 venience, and finding none able to 
 relieve them. 
 
 Artkhohes Propagated. 
 ARTICHOKES were all destroyed 
 in England in the hard frost in 1739, 
 except one plant, which had been ac- 
 cidentally covered with some dung. 
 From that one plant, which Mr. Wil- 
 ier, the author of the Gardening Dic- 
 tionary, was so lucky as to meet with, 
 al the Artichokes were propagated 
 which arc now in England.
 
 Interesting Narrnthes^ Fnigmas, Epigrams, Poetrj/, S;c. 9,W- 
 
 TUe Elaer Brother. 
 CEN'TRfrK. ill Loudon noiie, and Liiii.;<n 
 follies. 
 Proud Coveot-Gardpn i)!oom , in sniokj 
 slory ", 
 For cha:"i-men, coffee -rooms, piazzas, doUiss, 
 Cabbages, and comediaa;?, fani'd in storj ! 
 
 On this ^ay spot, ^^^pon a sober plan) 
 Dweif a''i<ilitr*-?;uliir.a!i.-! .>*taid youuij man; 
 JVIiicSi dij he early houi - and qiiie? love ; 
 Aiid was enti!ied Vt. !-aac Shove. 
 
 Ap orphrn bs? ; — yet rich in expectations, 
 (V^ hiiii nofio.ly seem'd 'ifecly to supplant) 
 
 FroMi that p-o-iisrioiis horti of all reiafions. 
 A lusty cantirjr, slisr-iump-d Maiden 
 A nut : 
 The Wtai'hy ;»ii^ii ' ncretia ^loghorty — 
 Who Lad brouu'.t Isaac up, and oivii'd to 
 forty. 
 
 Shove on t'iis maiden's vvi!! relied securely; 
 
 Who vow'd she ne'er would wed, to mar 
 hi-i riches ; 
 Fnll oHen would she =^y of men, demurely 
 
 * I cau'i abidetheiiiiiiy things in breeches!' 
 
 He had apartments up two pair of stairs; 
 On l!>L' iir t Boor lodged Doctor Crow; — 
 The landlord was a torturer of !:airs, 
 
 And madea fjaml display of wigs, b;;low; 
 From the beau s Srutus, to the parson's 
 
 grizzle: — 
 Over the door-way was his name; — 'twas 
 Twizzle. 
 
 Now yon most know, 
 This Doctor Crow 
 Was not of 1 a ^ , nor Music, nor I/ivinity ; 
 He was not obstclrick; — but the fac! is 
 He didn't in Lucina's /!«r/2/i»'e piaclise; 
 He took hye-roads ,Ted»cm% lauies shapes, 
 Who hiid secur'd themselves from leading 
 apes. 
 But kept the reputation of Virginity. 
 
 Crow had a roomy tenement of brick, 
 Enchw'd \Tith walls, one mile from Hyde 
 Par Ik CO' nrr; 
 Fir trees, aad jews, were planted round it 
 thick . — 
 Xo situaticu was foriorntr I 
 Yet, notwiJhslauding lolk"" might scout it 
 It suited sqitalmish spinsters, who fell sick, 
 And didn't wish the world to know about it. 
 
 Here many a single gentlewoman came, 
 Prn tempore^-hili leiiderof her fame ! 
 Who, for a while, took leave of friends in 
 
 town — 
 "Business, forsooth! to Yorkshire call'd 
 
 Jier down. 
 
 ' Too weighty to be sett led by Attorney!' 
 .l:id, ia a month, or six weeks' tiiije, came 
 
 back ! 
 When every body cried "Good lack! 
 '* How monstrous thin you've grown, 
 upon yonr jouruc-y." 
 
 The doctor knowing Unt a puff of scandal 
 
 ^^ oulu ;jiinv his private f rude to tatters, 
 Dreadti (o give the smsile.-l haiidle 
 
 To (hose who dabble in their neighbonrs' 
 niatti rs ; 
 Thprojur.'^, he wisely held if good 
 To liirte his practice from the neighbour- 
 hood — 
 And not appear there, as a resident ; 
 But merely one, who casually went 
 To see tht' lodgers m the large brick hcnse ; 
 Toloungv, and chat, not minding time a 
 
 f^oiije ; — 
 Like oise to whom all business was quite 
 foreign ; 
 And, thus he visited his female sick; 
 
 V'ho lay as iidck. 
 Within his tenement of brick, 
 As rabbits in a warren. 
 
 He lodged in Covent-Garden all the while. 
 And if they sent in haste for his assistance, 
 He soon was with 'em — 'twas no mighty- 
 distance — 
 
 From the town's end it was but a bare mile. 
 
 Now Isaac Shove 
 Living above 
 
 This Doctor Crow, 
 And knowing barber Twizzle lived below, 
 
 '''bought it might be as well, 
 Rearing so many knocks, single at.d double. 
 To buy at his own cost, a street-door bell, 
 \nd save confusion in the house, and trouble; 
 
 Whereby his (Isaac's) visitors might know. 
 Without long waiting in the dirt and 
 drizzle. 
 To ring for him at once ;— and not to knock 
 for Crow, 
 Nor Twizzle. 
 
 Besides he now began to feel, 
 
 the want of it was rather ungenfeel; 
 
 For he had often thought it a disgrace. 
 
 To hear, while s;t;iu^ in his room above, 
 I'wizzle's vhrili maid, on theiirst landing- 
 place, 
 Screaming, " a man below rants Mister 
 Shove!" 
 The bell was bought ; the wire was made to 
 
 steal 
 Round the dark staircase, like a tortur'd eel. 
 
 Twisting, and twining ; 
 The jemmy handle Twizzle's door-post 
 
 graced , 
 And,just beneath, a brazen plate was placed, 
 Lacqner'd and shining ; —
 
 250 Lilerartj Curiosities^ Epitaphs^ Wonderful Fvenl.i^ 
 
 Graven whereon, in characters full clear, 
 And ieijible, did " J\lr. Shove"' appear ; 
 And furthermore, Mhich you might read 
 
 right welj, 
 Was " Please to ring the bell." 
 
 At half-past fen, precisely to a second — 
 
 Siiove. every night, his supper ended; 
 And ^ ipp'd his glass of negns, tili Le reck - 
 
 on'd. 
 By his slop-watch, exactly, one more 
 
 quarter ; 
 Then, as exactly he untied one garter;— 
 A token 'twas that he for bed intended: 
 
 Yet having stiii a quarter good before him. 
 He leisurely undre.'-sd 4;erore (he fire,. — 
 Contriving, as the quarter did empire. 
 
 To be as naked as his mother bore him ; 
 
 Baling his shirt, and niglit-capon his head; 
 Then, as tlse watf hn.an bawi'd eleven, 
 
 He had ci;e toot i:i bed. 
 More cerlainiy ibau cuckolds go to Hea- 
 ven. 
 
 Alas! vi'bat pity 'lis that fFgularity, 
 Liifc Isaac Shove's is such .; rarity ! 
 
 But there are swilling Wights, in London 
 town, 
 Te;ai'd — Jolly Dogs — Choice Spirits— 
 alias Swine, 
 Who pour, in midnight revels bumpers 
 down, 
 Slaking their throats a thoroughfare for 
 wine. 
 
 The?e spendthrifts, who life's pleasures thus 
 out-run, I 
 
 Tiosing with head-aches till the afternoon, 
 Lose lialf nien's regular estate of sun, 
 
 By borrowing, too largely, of the moon. 
 
 One of this kidney, — Toby Tosspot bight, 
 Was coming from the Bedford, late at night, 
 
 And being Bacchi plemis,— U]\\ of wine, 
 Although he had a tolerable notion 
 Of aiming at progressive motion, 
 'Twasu't direct, — 'twas serpentine. 
 Hewoilk'd, with sinuosities, along, 
 
 Like Monsieur Corkscrew, worming thro' 
 a cork ; 
 Not straight, like Corkscrew's proxy, stiff 
 
 Don Prong, a fork. 
 At length, with near four bottles in his pate. 
 He saw the niocn shining on Shove's brass 
 plate: 
 
 When reading * Please to ring the bell,' 
 And lieing civil, beyond mea, nre, 
 
 < King it !'— Says Toby — ' very well ; 
 ' I'J! ring it with a deal of pk^i.-itre." 
 
 Toby, ihe kindest soul in all the town, 
 Gave it a jerk that almost jerk'd it down. 
 He waited full two minutes; no one cams; 
 
 He waited full two minutes more; — and 
 then, — 
 Says Toby, ' if he's deaf, I'm not to blame; 
 
 ' I'll pull it for the gentleman again.' 
 
 Bnt the first peal 'woke Isaac, in a fright, 
 Who, quicb as lig'itniug, popping up his 
 
 bead, 
 Sat on bis head's antipodes, in bed, 
 
 Pale as a parsnip, — bolt upright. 
 
 At length he, wisely, to himself did say, — 
 
 Calming his fears,— 
 ' Tush! — 'tis vome fool has rung, and run 
 away;' 
 When peal the second rattled in his ears ! 
 
 Shove jump'd into the middle of the floor ; 
 
 And, trembling at each breath of air that 
 
 stirr'd, 
 
 He groped down stairs, and open'd the 
 
 street door, 
 
 Wkile Toby was performing peal thetiiird. 
 
 Isaac ey'd Toby fearfully askant, — 
 And saw he was a strapper, stout and tall ; 
 
 Then put this question, — ' Pray, sir, what 
 d'ye want ?' 
 Says Toby, — ' I want nothing, sjr,at all.' 
 
 ' Want nothing I — Sir, you've puU'd my 
 bell, I vow, 
 
 * As if yon'd jerk it off the wire I' 
 Quoth Toby, gravely making him a bow, — 
 
 • I puU'd it, sir, at your desire.' 
 
 ' At mine !' — ' Yes, yours — I hope I've 
 done it well ; 
 ' High time for bed, sir ; I was hast'ning 
 toil; 
 ' But if you write up please to ring the bell, 
 < Common politeness makes me stop and 
 do it.' 
 
 Isaac now waxing wroth apace, 
 Slamm'd the street door in Toby's face 
 
 With all his might; 
 And Toby, as he shut it, swore 
 He was a dirty son of something more 
 
 Than delicacy suffers me to write: 
 
 And, lifting up the knocker, gave a knock, 
 So long and loud, it might have rais'd 
 the dead ; 
 
 Twizzle declares his house sustain'd a shock 
 liuough to shake his lodgers out of bed. 
 
 Toby, his rage thus vented in the rap. 
 Went serpentining home to take his nap. 
 
 'Tis now high time to let you know 
 That the obstelnck Doctor Crow 
 Awoke in the beginning of this matter, 
 By l(»by's tiHtinubulury ciaitcr:
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, &;c. 231 
 
 Aad knowing tliat the bell belong'd to Shove, 
 He listeu'd in his bed, but did not move ; 
 He only did apostrophize — 
 Sending *o hell 
 Shove and his liell, 
 That wouldn't let hiui close his eyes. 
 
 But when he heard a thundering knock, — 
 
 says he, 
 ' That's certainly a tnessen;^er for me; 
 ' Somebody ill ia the Brick House, no 
 
 doiiht ;' 
 Then niutlerd, hurrying on his dressing 
 
 gown, 
 * I wish my ladie.a, out of town, 
 
 ' Chose more couveaieut times for cry- 
 
 iftg out !' 
 
 Crow, in the dark, now reach'J the stair- 
 case head ; 
 Shove, in the dark, was coming up to bed. 
 
 A combination of ideas flocking, 
 Upon the i)ericranium of (row, 
 
 Oceasion'd by the hasty knocking, 
 Succeeded by a foot he heard below ! 
 
 He did, as many folks are apt (o do, 
 
 NVho argue in the dark, aud in confusion ; 
 That is, from the hypothesis, he drew 
 
 A fiil«e conclusion ; 
 Concluding Shove to be the person sent 
 With an express, from the brick tenement; 
 Whom barber Twizzle, torturer of hairs, 
 Had civilly let in, and sent up stairs. 
 
 is Shove came up, tho' he bad long time kept 
 His character for patience, very laudibly. 
 
 He couldn't help, at every step he stspp'd, 
 Grunting and grumbling iu his gizzard, 
 audibly. 
 
 For Isaac's mental feelings, you must linow. 
 Not only were considerably hurt. 
 
 But his corporeal, also — 
 
 Having no other clothing than a shirt ; 
 
 A dress beyond all doubt most light and airy, 
 
 It being then a f.'ost in Januaiy. 
 
 When Shore was deep down stairs, the doc- 
 tor heard, 
 
 (Being much nearer the (^lair top) 
 Ju-it here and there a random word, 
 
 Of the soliloquies that Shove let drop ; — 
 But shortly, by progression, 
 
 To contact nearer, 
 
 The doctor, consequently, heard him 
 clearer. 
 And then the fag-, nd of this sentence caught: 
 
 Which Shove repeated v»arBi!y, tho' he shi- 
 ver'd : — 
 'E — m Twizzle's houiel aad d — m the 
 
 bell! 
 * And d— m the fool who rang it !— Weli, 
 *■ From all such plagur* 111 CtUickly be de- 
 liver 'd,' 
 
 ' What? quickly bedeliver'd !' echoes Oow; 
 
 ' Who is it ?— L'ome, be sharp — reply, 
 roply ; 
 ' Whovvanis to be delivered? let m=i know.* 
 
 Recoveriag his surprise, Siioveauswer'u, 
 
 ' You be delivered ." says the doctor,— 
 ' 'Sblood I' 
 Hearing a man's gruiT voice — ' You lout ! 
 yiiii lob !' 
 ' You b deliver'd ! Come, that's very good !' 
 i<ays >hove, ' I will, so help me Bob I' 
 
 ' Fel'o'v,' cried Crow, ' You're drunk with 
 filthy beer ! 
 'A drunkard, fellow, is a brute's next 
 neighbour ; — 
 ' Bnt Miss Cloghorty 's time was very near, 
 'And, I suppose, Lucretia's now in U- 
 bour.' 
 
 ' Zounds !' bellows Shove, with rage aui 
 
 Vt'onder wild, 
 ' Why then, mv maiden aunt is big with 
 
 cliild." 
 
 Here was, at once, a sad discovery made! 
 
 Lucretia's frolic now, was past a joke; 
 Shove treaiijied for his fortune. Crow his 
 trade; 
 
 Both, both saw ruin, by one fatal stroke ! 
 
 But, with his aunt, when Isaac did discuss, 
 She husb'd the matter up, by speaking th js, 
 
 'Sweet Isaac." said Lucretia, 'spare my 
 fams ! 
 ' The', for my babe, I feel as should a 
 mother, 
 ' Yo;;r fortune will continue much the same, 
 ' For,— !;eep the secret, — you're his eldvi- 
 broiher.' 
 
 Alhci'im, 
 
 ATHEISM was first taught in 
 France by Lucilio Vaiiini, a Neapoli- 
 tan gentleman, who was convicted 
 and condeniiied to sulTer death. 
 When he was brouirht out to tlie place 
 of execution, he was pressed to ask 
 pardon of God, of llie king, and of 
 juslice. He answered, he <lid nut 
 believe tiiere was a (iod ; as fur liia 
 \\V.i'^, he iiad never oiTeniled bins; and 
 uilh respect to j;i-.nce, it may i;o la 
 the devil, liis to.igne was first cut 
 out, and then his biJuv btuut lu 
 ashes, Ajnil (}lh, 5(.»2f). ' 
 
 Uurd ou Reli3ioas%
 
 S32 
 
 'Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Henry Ilf. 
 THE most (4)vious circur.jstance nf 
 Henry the Third's characier, is his 
 inctijvacitv for govcrnmejit, which ren- 
 dered hijjj as liiucli a pri-oi t-r in the 
 bauds of iiis own ministers and favo- 
 rites, and as little at his own dispos;-.!, 
 lis when detained a captive in the 
 bands of his enemies. 
 
 From tiiis source, ratlier than from 
 insincerity and treachery, arose siis 
 negligence in observing his promises; 
 and he was too easily induced, for tlie 
 sake of present convenience, losacii 
 iice the lasting advantages arising from 
 the trust and confidence of his peojde. 
 Hence were derived his profusion to 
 favorites, his attachment to strangers, 
 the variableness of his conduct, his 
 basfy resentments, and his sudden 
 forgiveness and return of affection 
 Instead of reducing the dangerous 
 power of his nobles, by ob!ii:iug them 
 to observe the laws towards their infe- 
 riors, atid setting them the salutary 
 example in bis own government, he 
 was seduced to imitate their conduct, 
 i'.ni] to make his arbitrary will, or 
 rather that of bis minsters, the rule of 
 bis actioiis. 
 
 Instead of accommodating himself, 
 by a strict frugality, to the embar- 
 rassed situation in whicli his revenue 
 bad been. left by the military expedi- 
 tion of his iiiicle, the dissipations of 
 bis father, and the usurpations of the 
 barons; he was tempted to levy money 
 by iireaular exactions, wiiich without 
 enriching himself, impoverished, or 
 at least disgusted, his people. 
 
 Of all men, nature seemed least to 
 bave fitted him for a tyrant; yet are 
 there instances of oppression in bis 
 rei"n, which, thougii derived from 
 the precedents left him by his prede- 
 cessors, had been cartfuiiy guarded 
 i:<^t.ii!st by the Great Ciiarter, and 
 are inconsisient with all rules of good 
 govt-rnnient: and, on the whole, we 
 Kiay say, that greater abilities, with 
 
 his good dispijsitious, would bave 
 )>revented hini f orn faUins into his 
 iaid's; or, with worse di-|'ositi'>ns, 
 would have enabled him to nirfiiiiain 
 au'l <Kf{nd tht^m. He died November 
 K"), \'272, ai^ed sixty-four; having 
 reigned iiuy-six yesrs. 
 
 The Dying Lnvjer. 
 
 OLD Quillet, hisrai eupeneHrttialmost rim 
 Tliiis 8aj;e!y advised his too ciilRdf n! .«on ; 
 <' Litie a true liiuo of law, would you live 
 
 at your ease, 
 Ne'er boggle oa any sida, tad, to talie fees; 
 Keep clear ui' a noose, thouglv you merit to 
 
 swing, 
 And be su-e (o sell Justice for what it will 
 
 briag !" — 
 " .St// jiisiicel" retorted his-wond'ringhoir, 
 " A thing of such value — so precious — so 
 
 rare ; 
 Thereiuent of society, honour's hest band, 
 St// justice!" — Aye, sell it, andthat out of 
 
 hand. 
 You extravagant rascal! if 'tis as you say, 
 A thing of Fuch price, would yoa give it 
 
 away ?" 
 
 Anecdote of a Pope. 
 
 ALEXANDER VII. ordered that 
 his coffin should be made, and put 
 under his bed, that the continual 
 tjjoughts of death might put him in 
 niii'.d c f leading a./ holy life. Some 
 English gentlemen at Home one day 
 mixed with those who went to pay 
 their resj)ects to him on their knees. 
 The Pope asked it they were Protes- 
 tants, which they owned ; whereupon 
 his Holiness said with a smiling coun- 
 tenance — Get up then, 1 will not suf- 
 fer you to commit that which in your 
 opinion is an act of idolatry. I shall 
 nut give you my blessing, since you 
 do not believe me to be what I am ; 
 but i v>iit j)ray to God, that he Avill 
 please to render you capable to re- 
 ceive it. 
 
 Brookes's Diciionary. 
 
 Ejiigram. 
 
 YOU beat your pate, and fancy wit will 
 
 come ; 
 Ivnock as you wi!!, tt^re's nobody at home. 
 
 I
 
 Interest'ms; Narratives^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, S^-c. 933 
 
 The life of Joseph Addison. 
 
 JOSEPH ADDISON, the el(kst 
 son of Launcelot Acidisoii, D. D and 
 Dean of Litchfield, wa.^ born at Mii- 
 ston, near Amoshury, in the county 
 of Wilts, of which place his fafh*'; 
 1V3S rector, on the first of May, 167'? 
 He vvas first sent to Anieshury school, 
 , afterwards removed to that of Salis- 
 bury, and f;oin iiierice to the Charter- 
 house, London, when* he continned, 
 till he was transplanted to Queen's 
 college, Oxford. After he had been 
 there two years, the accidtiital sight 
 of a paptrof ins verse?, in the h'<:nds 
 of Dr. Lancaster, then Dean of that 
 Iiou^e, occasioned his beins elected 
 into Magdalen college, where he took 
 the degrees of Bachelor and Master 
 of Arts. He employed his first years- 
 in (he study of the ancient Gr^^ek and 
 Roman writers: which had an admir- 
 able effect, in siving that noble and 
 correct turn lo his t;eniiis, for which 
 he is so eminently diftingnished. He 
 gave very early ])roofs of his excellent 
 talent in poetry, by a short copy of 
 verses, addressed in June, iGyS, to 
 Mr. Dryden, with a view particularly 
 to his translations. This was soon 
 followed by a version of the Fourth 
 Georgic of Virgil, of which, the story 
 of Aristajus excepted, Mr. Dryden 
 makes very honorable mention. He 
 wrote likewise the " Essay upon the 
 Geoigics," prefixed to JNIr. Dr\d;-n's 
 translation. There are likewise some 
 other pieces of his, written in his 
 youth, particularly, " A Song for St. 
 Celia's Day at Oxford ;" " A Transla- 
 tion of the Story of Archeminides 
 and Polypheme, out of the third 
 ^aeid, in Milton's Style :" and "An 
 Account of the greatest English Poets" 
 in the close whereof, he insinuates a 
 design he then had of entering into 
 holy orders, to which he was stronglv 
 importuned by his father. Nor was 
 he less eminent for the beauty of his 
 Latin poems, which were printed in 
 
 the •' Musge Anglieanae," and highly 
 applauded by Monsieur Boileau. In 
 the year 1605, he wrote a " Poem to 
 King William" upon one of his Ma- 
 jesty's campaigns, addressed to Sir 
 John Sonmiers, lord keeper of the 
 great seal, to whom lie had been re- 
 coninicnded in the strongest terms by 
 Dr. Hough, then bishop of Oxford, 
 and pi-esident o{' Magdalen colli^ge. 
 Mr. Addison was in his twentv-eighth 
 year, when his incliuition to see 
 France and Ita> was t >rouraged by 
 tfje lord keeper, who obtan*^d, by his 
 interest, a yearly pension of three 
 hundred pounds from the (rown, to 
 support him in his travels. In the 
 year 1 70 1, he wroie a " Letter from 
 Italy to the Pijli' Honorable the Lord 
 Halifax," whicii has been justly es- 
 teemed one of the most exquisite of 
 his poetical performances The ac- 
 count of his " Travels" which was pub- 
 lished in 170.5, s' on obtained general 
 approbation, though a( first it was 
 but indifferently received by the bulk 
 of readers. the materials for the 
 y Dialogues on Medals" were collected 
 in the irative country of those coins; 
 and the book itself was begun at 
 Vienna, in the year .70?. The same 
 year, designing to return to England, 
 he received advice i'n>m bis friends, 
 Ihat he was appointed !o attend the 
 army under prince Eui'ene, who had 
 just begun the war in Italv, a- s cre- 
 tHTy from king Willianr."^ Hut the 
 news of that kintj's death, which he 
 heard at Gem-\a, put an end to that 
 affair: and is his iiopt^s of advance- 
 ment were fallen with the credit of his 
 friends, who wtre out of power at 
 file beo inning 01 queen Anne's reign, 
 he had leisure to mak»' the tour of 
 Germany in his way home. He re- 
 mained without employment till the 
 Near 1/04, when the duke of Marl- 
 borough's success turni.-hed him with 
 a subject worthy of the genius, lh;u 
 appears in his " Camitaign." The lord 
 treasurer Godolphin, who was an tx- 
 
 H h
 
 234 LAlerary Cnriosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Exsents, 
 
 cellent jucJoe of poetry, had a sight 
 of it, wJien o!)1y carried on as far as 
 the applauded simiie of the Angel; 
 and approved the poem, by conferring 
 on the author, a few days after, the 
 place of comniissioner of appeals. 
 The year following, Mr. Addison at- 
 tetided Lord Halifax to Hanover ; and 
 in 1706, was made secretary to Sir 
 Charles Hedges, secretary of state; 
 in which he acquitted himself so wed, 
 that he was continued in the same post 
 under the earl of Sunderland, who 
 was made secretary of state in De- 
 cember of the same year. In 170i), 
 the carl of Wharton being made lord 
 lieutenant of Ireland, he appointed 
 Mr. Addison secretary for that king- 
 dom, who had likewise the place o\ 
 keeper of the records in Ireland, with 
 a considerable augmentation of the 
 former salary. He was uj that king- 
 dom, when he first discovered his 
 friend Mr. Steele to be the auihor of 
 the "Tatler," by an observation upon 
 Virgi!, which he had communici^ted 
 to hinu His assistance afterwards in 
 the course of that paper, was very 
 considerable; and he liad likewise a 
 verv large sliare in the " Spectators" 
 and " Guardians," which were pub- 
 lished in 171 1, and in the three years 
 succeeding. 
 
 The situation of affairs in England, 
 in the year 1713, rendering the doc- 
 trine of liberty very seasonable, he 
 endeavoured to awaken the nation to 
 a sense of it, by his excellent tragedy 
 of " Cato," which received universal 
 applause ; all parlies, however divided 
 and opposite to ewch other, conspiring 
 to give it the conimendations it de- 
 served, it was repeated for a month 
 without any intermission, and was only 
 stopped by the indisposition (»f one of 
 the principal j)erforniers. 'J he author 
 received a message, that the queen 
 would he phased to have it dedicated 
 to her : but, as he had designed that 
 complin. ent tlsewhcre, he found him- 
 siii ublii^u!, by his duty on the one 
 
 side, and his honour on the other, to 
 send it into the world without any de- 
 dication. At the latter end of her 
 Majesty's reign, wlien he had no ex- 
 pectation of any public employment, 
 he resolved to compile an English 
 Dictionary, which he thought was 
 much wanted : and as he designed the 
 first volume of archbishop TUlotson's 
 Sermons, published by that prelate 
 himself, as the chief standard, he ac- 
 tually marked the phrases after the 
 maimer of the •' Dictionary della 
 Crusca." But, being soon brought 
 again into business, that noble project 
 was laid aside. For, upon the death 
 of the queen, he was appointed secre- 
 tary to the lords justices; and, when 
 the earl of Sunderland was constituted 
 lord lieutenant of Ireland in September 
 1714, he became a second time secre- 
 tary for the affairs of that kingdom, 
 and was made one of the lords com- 
 missioners of trade, a short time after 
 that earl had resigned the post of lord 
 lieutenant. He imdertook the " Free- 
 holder," at the time the rebellion in 
 Scotland broke out, and in April, 
 1717, was advanced to the post of 
 secretary of state ; soon after which, 
 he found his health impaired by the 
 return of an asthmatic indisposition, 
 which continued often to afflict him 
 during his exercise of that employ- 
 ment, and at last obliged him to re- 
 sign it. His freedom from this anxiety 
 so far re-established his health, that 
 his friends began to hope he might 
 live many years. But a long and 
 painful relapse into an asthma and 
 dropsy, deprived the world of this 
 izreat man, at Holland-House near 
 Kensington, on the 17th of June, 
 1719- He left behind him only one 
 daughter by the countess of Warwick 
 and Holland, to whom he was mar- 
 ried in 1716. 
 
 His writings which will be always 
 esteemed as the best standard of our 
 language and taste, render all enro- 
 niiunis upon him unnecessary. His
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, &tC. §35 
 
 luodesry was sr excessive, that it dis- 
 abled him from appearing to any ad- 
 vantage in the public scenes of busi- 
 ness, or in mixed companies : but, 
 among a few select frit^nds, the viva- 
 city and eleijance of bis conversation 
 were incomparable. 
 
 f 
 
 I 
 
 A Disappointment. 
 
 A SrOT.DING wifesolonga sleep possess'd, 
 Her spoa.se presumed lier soul was now at 
 
 re-it ; 
 Sabie was call'd to hang the room with 
 
 black ; 
 And all their cheer was sugar, rolls and 
 
 sack. 
 Two mourning staffs stood sentry at the 
 
 door ; 
 And Silence reign'd, who ne'er was there 
 
 before. 
 The cloaks, and tears, and handkerchiefs 
 
 prepar'd. 
 They march'd in woeful pomp to Abchurch- 
 
 yard; 
 When see of narrow streets, what mischief 
 
 come ! 
 The very dead can't pass in quiet homa, 
 By some rude jolt the coffin-lid was broke, 
 And marfam from her dream of death awoke. 
 Now all was spoil'd: the undertaker's pay, 
 Sour faces, cakes, and wine, quite thrown 
 
 away 
 But some years after, when the former 
 
 scene 
 Was acted, and the coffin nail'd again, 
 The tender husband took especial care, 
 To keep the passage from disturbance clear; 
 Charging the bearers that they tread aright, 
 Nor put his dear in such another/r»f?/ji. 
 
 I 
 
 An Epigram. 
 
 LUCINDA'S luck did spinsters grudge, 
 While lovers twain pursued her; 
 
 For, while she charm'd an old gnxe judge, 
 A young gay sheriff woo'd her. 
 
 The /Mrf<7e was rich, the vfterj^ poor, 
 
 Papa preferr'd hi« lordship ; 
 And mammon scorn'd for cupid's In re. 
 
 Old Squaretoes deem'd a hardship. 
 
 But Miss, whom rank nor wealth could 
 move, 
 
 To be by dotard bedded ; 
 (For if .lack Ketch had gain'd her lore. 
 
 The hangman she'd have wedded :) 
 
 Said—" Since io love and cherish too, 
 
 Was wedlock's institution; 
 Judgment nrdy have its weight with you, 
 
 Bat I'm for eaecution.'' 
 
 Saturday Night. 
 
 NOW, wife and children, let's be gay, 
 My work is done, and here's the pay ; 
 'Twashard to earn but never mind it, 
 Kope rear'd the sheaf, and peace shall bind 
 it! 
 
 Six days I've toil'd, and now we meet, 
 To ifhare the welcome weekly treat. 
 Of toast and tea, of rest and joy. 
 Which gain'd by labour, cannot cloy. 
 
 Come ye, who form my dear fire-side, 
 My care, my comfort, and my pride; 
 Come now, and let us close the night 
 In harmless sports of fond delight. 
 
 To-morrow's dawn brings blessed peace, 
 
 And each domestic joy's increase, 
 
 To him who honestly maintains 
 
 That course of life which Heav'n ordains! 
 
 Of rich and poor, the diiTrence what? — 
 In working, or in working not; 
 Why, then, on Sunday we're as great 
 As those who own some vast estate. 
 
 For on to-morrow's happy day 
 Vv'e shall work less, perhaps than they ; 
 And, though no dainties it afford. 
 What's sweet and clean will grace our 
 board. 
 
 This known, for every blessing given, 
 Thankful we'll bow our knees to Heav'n ; 
 In God's own house oar voices raise, 
 Wilh grateful notes of pray'r and praise! 
 
 Such duties will not interfere, 
 Nor cloud my brow with thoughts severe; 
 But still leave lime enough to spend. 
 To take a walk or see a friend- 
 Sweet the serenity of heart 
 That public worship does impart ! 
 And sweet the field, or sweet the road. 
 To him whose conscience is no load ! 
 
 Thus shall the days, as God designed, 
 Improve my health, unbend ray mind ; 
 And .'\Ionday morning, free from pain. 
 Cheerful I'll goto work again. 
 
 Our life is but a lengthen'd week, 
 Through which, wilh toil, for rest we seek ; 
 And he whose labour well is past, 
 A joyful sabbath finds at last ! 
 
 Epitaph. 
 HERR lyefh Menalcas, as dead as a logge, 
 Whoiivedlikeadeviil.anddiedlikeadogge; 
 Here doth he lye said I ? then say 1 lye, 
 For from this place he parled by-and-by. 
 But here he made his descent into hell. 
 Without either booke, candle, « jbel! 
 H h j2
 
 236 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Edward I. 
 
 THE enteipiisfs finished hy Ed- 
 ward T. and the piojects which hi 
 formed, and brought very near to a 
 conclusioti, weie nio»> j)rudent and 
 more rt-tilar!}' conduced, ai.<J nior'- 
 advantageous to the 5,<ilid interests of 
 this kinfjdoni, than those which were 
 undertaken in any reigu either of his 
 ancestors or successors. He restored 
 authority to tiie government, disor- 
 dered by the weakness of his father; 
 he maintained the laws against all the 
 efforts of his turbulent barons; he 
 fully anrexed to the crown the prin- 
 cipality of Wales; he took tlie wisest 
 and most efiiectual measures for re- 
 ducing Scotland to alike condition; 
 and though the equity of the latter 
 enterpris' may reasonably he ques- 
 tioned, t ift circnmstanres of the two 
 riingdoms proiiiisfd such success, and 
 the advantage was so visible, nf uniting 
 the whole island iinder one head, that 
 those, whc» give great indulgence to 
 reasons of state in tlie measures of 
 princes, will not be apt to regard this 
 part of his conduct with much seve- 
 rity. But Edward, however excep- 
 tionable his cliaracier may appear on 
 the head of justice, is the model of a 
 politic and warlike king. He possessed 
 industry, penetration, courage, vigour 
 and enterprise. He was frugal in ali 
 expenses that were not necessary; he 
 knew how to open the public treasures 
 on proper occasions; he punished cri- 
 minals with severity; he was gracious 
 and affable to his servants and cour- 
 tiers; and being of a majestic figure, 
 expert at all bodily exercises, and in 
 the main well proportioned in his 
 limbs, notwithstanding the great length 
 of his legs; he was as well qualified 
 to captivate the populace by his exte- 
 rior appearance, as to gain the appro- 
 bation of men of sense by his more 
 solid virtues. He died July 7, 1307, 
 aged sixty-nine, having reigned thirty- 
 five years. 
 
 PROVINCIAL THKATRE. 
 
 To a play-hill published by a Country 
 Manayer. u .is added the following attrac- 
 tive iuviatiofit 
 
 I ET none beafraid from the country to come> 
 As the moon is engaged for to light thetn all 
 
 home; 
 B'lt should she fter^e// that honour decline, 
 The stars have agreed with more lustre to 
 
 sbiue. 
 Doors opeii atsix, begin about seven, 
 At home safe in bed betsveen ten aud elevea 
 
 Matrir)iony. 
 
 I WTTiL not have a man that's (all, 
 
 A man that's little is worsi^ than all, 
 
 I will not have a man that's fair, 
 
 A man that's biacli I tail not i>ear; 
 
 A young man is a constant pest, 
 
 An old one wouifi my room iiifesf ;- 
 
 A man ot sense they say is proud, 
 
 A *.f nstiess one is always loud ; 
 
 A man that's rich I'm sure won't have me, 
 
 And owe (hat's poor I fear vvould starve me ; 
 
 A sailor always smeiis of tar, 
 
 A rogue, they say, is at the bar ; 
 
 A sober man I will not take, 
 
 A gambler soon my heart would break ; 
 
 Of all professions, tempers, ages, 
 
 Not one my buoyant heart engages; 
 
 Yet strange and wre(ched is my fate. 
 
 For still I sigh for the marriage state. 
 
 THE IRISH GRACE. 
 
 Over a small Piece of boiled Beef, and s 
 few Potatoes of the dwarfish size. 
 
 O THOU that blest the loaves and fishes. 
 Look down upon these two poor dishes; 
 And though the Mtirphys are but small, 
 O make them large enough for all ; 
 For if they do our bellies fill, 
 I'm sure it is a Miracle. 
 
 The unhappy difference between ' Twas and 
 ' Tis. 
 
 WHEN first 1 wed — what joy ! what bliss 2 
 'Twas then a smile, and then a kiss — 
 
 'Twas —omnia vincit amor ! 
 But now — as Peg is fond of brawls. 
 And children malie a thousand squalls, 
 'Tis — omnia vincit clamor. 
 
 On a Juggler. 
 
 DEATH came (o see thy tricks, and cut 
 
 in twain 
 Thy thread, why did'st not make it whole 
 
 again.
 
 Interesting!: N'arralhes, Enigmas, Epigrams^ Poetry^ See. 237 
 
 History of a modern Love Adventurer, 
 or Memoirs of Mr Billet. — From 
 the Netv Lady's Magazine of 1786. 
 
 THJS gentleman is now soniething 
 on tlu- vvroiig side of forty, '''od tn my 
 certain kno'*2edi»e has professed this 
 sort «tf business since the age of seven- 
 teen; he is a man of family, and a 
 person of i:iore ^eT^t- : i;d spirit than 
 the iiermiJy of m ii;'.in'1 : he sings 
 well, Jancvb f»n' s yj ^v^ hejter than 
 nicsJ pco(»lf 0!) ih<' iui, jisich-rd, and 
 has. Without evcepiiofi, I tie most en- 
 ga-^inii afii're'ss in writini;, ofaiiv man 
 in the nniv rse With the>^ ^^cconi- 
 plisiim'nta vou will allow iiiiri mucl? 
 moie likely to meet with success iu 
 love affairs, than the common herd 
 who attempt it: yet what has heen 
 the e.veiit of twenty-three years con- 
 stant service in this station? VVhy ite 
 has bteu, in iiis pursuiis, fifty tinu<> 
 jilted by the ladies lie courteti; nit.ery 
 limes dismissed with contempt bv 
 their mothers, uncles, and guardians 
 (for it is a settled rule with these 
 adventurers, never to court any wo- 
 man who has a father living) ten times 
 cudgelled by the men-servants; twice 
 tossen in a blanket by the ladies' 
 maids; once maimed with a random 
 shot of a blunderbuss, from a hole in 
 a wall; and twice run throutih the 
 body by iiis rivals. These are the 
 rewards which an unconquerable pa- 
 tience, assiduity, resolution, and cou- 
 rage, have procured this well-accom- 
 plished fortune-hunter; and to crown 
 the list of his sufferings with the pre- 
 sent period, he is now prisoner in a 
 country round-house, half naked, 
 half starved, ami for the present, 
 tlioroughly cooled of all love fits. 
 
 This unhappy adventurer, being a 
 younger son of a good family, was 
 articled to an eminent attorney in the 
 Temple, in order to qualify him to 
 gain a subsistence, without being a 
 dishonour to his family; when iie had 
 passed through that part of his educa- 
 
 tion, he had a sufficient sum settled 
 upon him, to cany him genteely into 
 business; but nnhappiiy, he fell into 
 the company of the wits, and choice 
 spirits at George's cotlee-house, where 
 he heard so much of the success »f 
 this way of life, that he readily cm- 
 braced it. His wh()le stock of money 
 was called in, and the greatest part of 
 it employed in the purchase of three 
 laced suits of clothes, a chariot and 
 four bay horses. Thus ecjuipped, he 
 shone away at Bath, at Epom, and 
 at Tunbridge, lor three years. In 
 this time, his remaining u'oney wasaii 
 spent; some unlucky accident had 
 always prevented hisn iVom marrying 
 any of the ladies, who had given liini 
 encoinagement; am' he was now re- 
 dnc'^d to sell his chariot and horses 
 for reariy money, to support him gen- 
 teely, while he made his last push, 
 which !'e determined to do in a more 
 coreful inam.tr than before. In this 
 stage cf his life, he . i^uced at the 
 niMsquerades, ech'psed the whole beau 
 trr.nde at the f-oera, and frequented 
 besides, at his leisure houis, th» play- 
 houses, and the St. James's coilee- 
 houses: there I beiame acquaiited 
 with Ir.m, a. id soon became of his 
 council and intimate secrecv While 
 his money lasted, he courted ev^ry 
 woman round the whole t(»wn, but all 
 in vain; the very means these gentle- 
 men use to gain their ends, generally 
 undo them, and their frequent chang- 
 ing the objects of their addresses, in- 
 forms the whole female world, tnat 
 it is something ehe, and n<n the wo- 
 man, that they seek, in th, ir court- 
 ship. This last stcck was .^nent as 
 unsuccessfully as the formei, and my 
 poor beau reduced to sell his clothes, 
 and finally to retire into ihe country, 
 to depend on a distant relation : he 
 tiiere employed no le.ss than si venteeu 
 years in courting all he wom< n within 
 lift- miles of the place, in vain; aod 
 at the end of tins period, became 
 possessed of si.\ hundred puunds by
 
 238 Literar?/ CuriosHies^ Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events, 
 
 the death of a relation, who pitied 
 his distresses, itiid thr.uijht he had fe!; 
 enough iiiisfortunes from his fornix 
 disa|ipointments, to cure him of run 
 ning ii'to the way of them again; 
 but diftereiit people think differeiitly: 
 and my friend no sooner got more 
 money, than he entered on his- old 
 pursuits, and about a twelve-month 
 ago, I nset him agdn at the grand 
 resort of the gay world, the Bedford. 
 Since then he has courted every thing 
 that had petticoats and a fortune, in 
 this part of the world : sometimes 
 London, sometimes Tunhridge, some- 
 times Hath, have again been the scene 
 of his gaiicintries; and almost every 
 unmarried woman has heard his oaths 
 of love, and of fidelity. jNien, wiso 
 have been faulty in any particular, 
 usually fall into it again on a second 
 opportunity, and that in a worse 
 degree than at first. Extravagance 
 was always my friend's fault, but he 
 now fell into an unbounded prodi- 
 gality ; and notwithstanding he knew 
 that this six hundred was all he had, 
 and all he could ever expect in the 
 world, he got to the end of it in a 
 twelve-month; and is now as poor, 
 as abandoned, and miserable as ever. 
 Among the numerous objtcts of his 
 passion and pursuits, had been the 
 beautiful, though prudish and nice, 
 
 Miss G . This lady he had met 
 
 with at Tunbridge, about six months 
 since, and pursued with his usual bad 
 luck. He found she had a consider- 
 able, though not a great fortune: but 
 he met with more insults and indiffe- 
 rence from her, than he had ever ex- 
 perienced from the richest prizes lie 
 had aimed at; and had abandoned 
 the chace, quite hopeless, after about 
 six weeks pursuit, though he acknow- 
 ledged he knew not why, but he found 
 he loved her, better than auy one he 
 had ever addressed beside. 
 
 After experiencing the same un- 
 happy fate from twenty others since 
 her cruelty, he was one Saturday af- 
 
 ternoon sitting in a very disconsolate 
 way, in the next bench to me, in a 
 dirty coat and unpowdered periwig, 
 when a porter was introduced to him 
 by honest Stokes, and delivered the 
 following letter: 
 
 "Sir, 
 " I am now sensible of my folly in 
 affecting an indiiference to you, when 
 my own heart told me I wronged both 
 myself and one that more than de- 
 served !ne; I have not had a peaceful 
 moment since ; you haunt my thoughts 
 by day, uiy sleep by night. But why 
 must I see the idea continually, the re- 
 ality never. Come to me immediately, 
 dearest Billet, and if you can forgive 
 my injuries, make your own conditions. 
 
 " H T G ." 
 
 The sensible change in my friend's 
 countenance, on reading this letter, 
 gave me occasion to inquire into the 
 contents of it, and in confidence he 
 put the letter into my hand, instead of 
 making any other answer. 
 
 The lady lived about eighteen miles 
 from London, and he took a resolution 
 of immediately setting forward to see 
 her. He conjured me to be the com- 
 panion of his journey ; and as I had 
 known much of his ill fortune, now 
 to be an eye-witness of his good. I 
 readily consented, and we went to my 
 friend's lodgings in Hart-street, where 
 he made no other preparation for the 
 journey than the changing his coat, 
 and equipping liimsclf in a suit of 
 black, the only genteel thing he had 
 left. He was no sooner dressed than 
 we set out. All that afternoon it 
 rained most bitterly ; but that was no 
 discouragement to us, we flattered our- 
 selves that it would clear up; and, 
 not to conceal from you my own slen- 
 der circumstances, any more than my 
 friend's eagerness, I an> to tell you 
 that we proposed no other way of tra- 
 velling than on foot. We set out in 
 a hard shower if rain, to walk cii,di- 
 ieen miles, at five o'clock in a wet
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poelri/, S(C. 239 
 
 afternoon, at that short-day season; 
 da)-lii;l)t was nothing to us; who 
 woui f not walk in the dark and the 
 wet, on such an occasion? 
 
 INIy friend's unhappy fortune still 
 pursued him ; and, in short, it never 
 ceasfd raining that evening. We 
 were hardly got beyond Tyburn, when 
 we met with a parcel of j)eople, who 
 gave us a miserable warning of what 
 was to be our own fate, it we would 
 have attended to it; tluy were all wet 
 to the skin, in running a wild goose 
 chace after a coupie of footpads, who 
 had robbed a farmer in that neigh- 
 bourhood about an hour before. It 
 was not long before we were as wet as 
 they; but little did it come into our 
 thoughts, that we were upon as fruit- 
 less an expedition. In short, the rain 
 increasing rather than abating, we 
 found ourselves so thoroughly soused 
 by the time \\e arrived at Kensington 
 gravei-pits, that we were forced, on 
 the sudden falling of a storm, more 
 Ijcavy than before, to drop our reso- 
 lution of going through thick and thin, 
 and stand to rest, and shelter our- 
 selves under an old tree. Repose 
 gave us lime for thought, and we now 
 began to find night approaching, and 
 our journey's end nearly as far off as 
 at first. With so miserable a way of 
 arriving at it on foot, up to the ancles 
 in dirt, anri wet to the skin, we even 
 despaired of compassing our design 
 of being at the place in time. While 
 we were in this desponding state, to 
 our infinite delight, we heard the rat- 
 tling of wheels coming towards us, 
 ar.d on the nearer approach of the 
 machine, discovered it to be a sort of 
 convenience called a Chaise iMarine, 
 belonging to a lady, whose name be- 
 ginning with an H, had induce<i the 
 country round, who were well ac- 
 quainted with her disposition, to call 
 her the Duchess of Hell. This was 
 a convenience she had in constant use, 
 for biinging provisions for the family 
 from London, and was (to describe it 
 
 in a few words) a hearse without the 
 plumes. 
 
 Necessity taught us to think this 
 wretched machine a comfortable vehi- 
 cle, and we prudently considered that 
 instead of standing there, wet to the 
 skin, we might be at once well shel- 
 tered fronr the v\eather in this, and 
 be carried all the uhile straightfor- 
 ward on our Journiy, without tiring 
 our legs. We called to tlie driver, 
 offered him sixpence to carry us as far 
 as he was going, which was seven miles 
 farther; and on his opening a small 
 door, behind the machine, we were let 
 into the company of the duchess's 
 Sunday dinner, which we found out 
 in the dark, to be a pheasant, two 
 chickens, a neck of beef, and two 
 legs of mutton, whose smell declared 
 I them very tender. 
 
 The fellow no sooner had put us in, 
 but he let down the door, pegged it 
 fast on the outside, and drove on his 
 horses at a terrible rate. It is not 
 easy to describe our wretched situa- 
 tion ; stewed up in the dark, amidst 
 a thousand filthy smells, in a place 
 where we had neitlier room to lie at 
 length, nor wiiith enough to be crooked 
 in: we c^ied out, but in vain; the 
 noise of the wheels drowned our bawl- 
 ing; and tlius were we carried for an 
 hour and half, jolted against tlie top 
 and the bottom, and first against one 
 side, then against the other, of tiiis 
 wooden case. At length we found ftur 
 machine stop on a sudden, and after 
 a confused buz, that we could not 
 I understand, we were let out of our 
 pen, and received amidst a circle of 
 i about forty country fellows, with pitcii- 
 j forks, spits, and what other weapons 
 ! they could pick up, who all cried out 
 at once, to lead us to the justice, who 
 I would send us to Newgate. 
 1 In short, the driver of this machine, 
 seeing two people of our deplorable 
 figure skulking under a heii'ge, in such 
 a terrible evening, had conf laded that 
 we were the footpads who had coin-
 
 240 lAterary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Kiitted the robbery, and that we (lare<^ 
 not attempt to go into Jiiiy h use, b - 
 cause we knew t'le whole coiiMtry m 
 up anjainst us. Full (f His opinio'., 
 he had very readily admitttd us into 
 liis cart, and then dn^M' ns iway like 
 another Jehu, tiliho-; i us int* 
 the yard of the pn cipui farmer o^ 
 the place, and there let tu out, afr< 
 summoning together all the iivaie;? < 
 the parisii. It was in vain for us • 
 plead our innocence ; we weie hurried 
 away to a drunken justice, wli. ui- 
 going to commit us without exaniina- 
 tion, had not I |irevailed with a com- 
 pass! >nate liunip-backed daughter of 
 his worsl.'ip's, to get him to have us 
 searched; when, upon finding no wea- 
 pons, nor any m< .ley about us, and 
 meeting with some letters in ni\ pocket, 
 which declared who I was, he pru- 
 dently dismissed us, with great can 
 tions not to commit any thing of the 
 like for the future, for we had a nar- 
 row escape this time. 
 
 Our iimbs and bodies were now all 
 over bruises, from the jolting of our 
 wretched travelling machine, and our 
 weariness, pain, and disappointment, 
 prevailed with us not to think of tra 
 vefling any farther in the dark: but 
 we, by joint consent, went to a hedge 
 alehouse in the neighbourhood, when- 
 we got to bed immediately, and om; 
 l.iudloid, according to the custom 
 with foot travellers, niaking us pay for 
 our ale and bread and cheese, before 
 we went to bed, we had nothing to 
 prevent us in the morniiig from conti- 
 nuing our journey early ; which my 
 companion's warm expectations of the 
 happy event of so miserable a jour- 
 ney, urged him to promote an ho^ur 
 before day light. 
 
 The afiair of the justice had hap- 
 pened to us not f;ir from Soulhweli, 
 vthere finding, on inquiry, that a far- 
 rier was the only doctor of the place, 
 and thtit he hud Ku<'ly sent the lady 
 of the n.anor to the «ievii, for burning 
 her cap, and a little of her cheek 
 
 H;^aii: t the candle ; we chose t«» !»ear 
 «on!e hurts we had on our knets ytnd 
 • ibows, rather than disturb his rever- 
 ence before his usual tinie of rising. 
 We were 'v»vv within eiaht ni'les of 
 our joui;:' '.'s ciiJ, and fontiiii; it has- 
 tily jc.vav, were got beyond Hayes 
 ! fore <!.iv iiijht. As the day bejian 
 .<; hre.ii^ upon us, my companion be- 
 gan to stare upon me stran!,'ciy, and 
 soon told me, with a si- i.e, that I 
 mtide much such a merry figure as the 
 miller's wife must hav<- done, accord- 
 ing to the old ballat', when her hus- 
 band daubed her over with wet glue, 
 a ;d th-en rolled her in the feathers, and 1 
 sold her to the devil, for a strange 
 creature that he had never seen in his 
 life; for that he believed 1 had strip- 
 ped our infernal duchess's pheasant 
 and chickens of all their feathers. It 
 is true, I had my share of the clean- 
 liness of our new-fashioned coach ; 
 but niy companion was in so superiorly 
 ridiculous a case, that as the light 
 grew upon us, and I was able to dis- 
 linffuish his figure, I forgot the drol- 
 lery of my own. He had got into this 
 precious machine in a black suit, wet 
 through, and consequently every thing 
 that it touched stuck to it ; and in the' 
 course of the journey, the hearty jolts 
 of the coach had made it touch every 
 part of the inside of it, so that it was 
 covered with stains of blood, scraps 
 of raw meat, and the loose feathers 
 of all the poultry, that had been car- 
 ried down there since the last cleaning, 
 which by the smell, seemed to have 
 been at least a quarter of a year; and 
 to add to the misfortune, one sleeve 
 of the coat was torn almost off. 
 
 I would have assisted in picking my 
 cr.r.ipanion, but he refused, telling me 
 it was now but two miles to Hilling- 
 ton, where he had a relation, at whose 
 'louse he could have his coat cleaned 
 aiid mended ; we soon reached this 
 place, and knocked with fury at the 
 gate. We go^ admittance, but alas! 
 the good man was abroad, and his
 
 Lttercslins: Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetri/, S^c. 941 
 
 trusty liouscktijper having become a 
 ioUower of Willi iiehl, since he lind 
 seen her, wouki do no work on a Sun- 
 day, and nciiher would l)rush or mend 
 his coat hersf if, nor suffer liim to do 
 it hiniself in tiieir Imuse. My iViend 
 cursed her caat-: she offered him a 
 breai^fast ; but he was in too much 
 hurry to be at his journey's end to ac- 
 cept of ii ; so we triidj^ed a!oni(. I 
 shoublfell you, that as early as it now 
 was, the oddity of our figure drew no 
 small concourse of people about us, 
 and all the boys, old womt n, i-.ud doj^s 
 in the town followed us tlirouiili this 
 viilat^e, with shouts and accla^isations. 
 This was a sort of triumph that did 
 not at all please us. and my compa- 
 nion observing that we had the town 
 of Uxbridge to pass through in this 
 pickle, whiel! was much larger, and 
 where every body would be up before 
 we came, and our finances not sufter- 
 hig us to put up at a house of refiesh- 
 iiient; after much deliberation, he re- 
 collected a foot-way over the mea- 
 dows to Denham, within a little way 
 of which place our lady lived. It 
 was with some reluctance that we 
 marched back through a great part 
 of the applauding town of Hillington, 
 to recover the entrance to his pa^s. 
 We run the gauntlet with great chris- 
 tian patience, and in a quarter of an 
 hour found ourselves in tl)e meadows: 
 but what was our surprise hese, to 
 find, instead of a verdant plain, a sea 
 for us to cross. The rains and the 
 stoppage of the adjoining river at a 
 njill below, had floated all the low 
 grounds. My friend was well ac- 
 quainted with the place, and observ- 
 ing to me that we saw the grass all 
 the way before us, and that it was no 
 W'here knee deep, proposed to wade 
 through it. I had not followed his 
 fortunes so fir, to forsake hiui here, 
 so we pulled off our shoes and stock- 
 ings, tucked up the kuees of our 
 breeches, and boldly entered the flood. 
 The san now rose upon U:, lUe water 
 
 grt'w warm, and we walked thus two 
 miles in great triumph; only one mis- 
 fortune happened, occasioned bv the 
 precipitancy of my frifud's teraper, 
 who, willing to cut short the vvay. had 
 plunged up to the middle iiito a ditch, 
 that parted two of the meadows. The 
 hopes of his success, however, gave 
 him patience, and we marched on ; at 
 length we reached the shore near 
 Denham court, where sitting upon the 
 grass, and at once congratulating, and 
 dressing ourselves, my friend irsd the 
 mi>fortune to find, that in his affair of 
 the ditch, he had xn the frigiit drop- 
 ped one of his stockings fron> under 
 liis arm, where he carried thorn, in 
 company with his hhoes. 
 
 This was a sensib'e affliction; but 
 lie, considering what was his pursuit, 
 disdained to turn back, and dressing 
 himself with his shoe and naked leg 
 on that side, told me we should soon 
 reach the Swan in the town of Den- 
 ham, where he knew tlie landlord, and 
 should be accommodated with a brush, 
 a needle and thread, and a pair of 
 stockings. I was liiiked to his fortune, 
 and followed him: but alas! matters 
 turned out very differently from his 
 expect tion. We entered the town of 
 Denhr'm by a back way, and arrived 
 at the church-yard just as all the peo- 
 ple were going to cnurch ; we were 
 soon crowded from beLind, as well as 
 before, and could neither advance nor 
 retreat, but v.'ere obliged to stand the 
 gaze of a whole parisli, and among 
 the rest of them, the generous and 
 kind [Vliss G — , whom my friend had 
 the mortification to see handed into 
 the church in great triuniph, by ;i 
 spruce young fellow, and afterxded by 
 half the better dressed people in the 
 town. 
 
 This gay company stood like the 
 rest to t(ike their full itare at us. and 
 I could perceive by the confusion ia 
 Miss G — , that she knew her h ver in 
 his party-coloured coat, and one s'-ock- 
 '\m, thongh he hid his face behiiid his 
 I i
 
 242 Liiterary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 hat as she came up. Happily for me, 
 I liad nobody I knew there, and could 
 brazen it out; 1 held up my head 
 amoncst them all, but my friend no 
 more shewed his face. When we had 
 stood this gaze, we burst tiinugh the 
 meaner herd, and were makinif our 
 way to ihe Swan, whose picture we 
 now saw dancing in the air before us, 
 when our haste was stopped by the 
 very master of tlie ale-house, whose 
 office being now that of constable in 
 the pari.^h, he was ordered by the ma- 
 gistrate of the lown to seize us; our 
 Stranye appearance on the Lord's day, 
 giving liim great reason to suspect we 
 were the people who had committed 
 the robbery mentioned in the begin- 
 ning of this history, the news of which 
 had the night before reached this 
 place. My friend pleaded his old ac- 
 quaintance w.th the constable, but he 
 was now a man in power; and beside, 
 few people know their friends in dis- 
 tress; in short, we were led in triumph 
 to a second justice, where my open- 
 ness was pleaded much in my favour 
 by the mob, and my poor friend's 
 hiding his face made a very suspicious 
 circumstance against him. We were 
 put upon tiie former shift of produ- 
 cing our letters, to shew who we were; 
 what I luni about me, added to the 
 favourable opinion of the mob, soon 
 j>rocured me my discharge out of cus- 
 tody ; but it was in vain that I pleaded 
 for my friend; his hiding his face was 
 a circumslance, which, as he would 
 not tell the true reason of, so he could 
 by no means get over; and producing 
 no letters to his character, he was on 
 the point of being committed, when, 
 w'th blubb^riiig eyes, and many a sob, 
 he pulled out the letter he had received 
 frani Miss G — , as an uncjuestionable 
 proof of liis biiiig a gcntieman, and 
 an honest man, tIiOMt;h a proof he 
 was very unwiljing to giv^, I'he word 
 gentleman, added to his figure, occa- 
 sioned no suiail njerrinient to tiiegood 
 people j)rtsent; and the justice having 
 
 read the letter, judged the contents of 
 it so very unlike, both to the lady's 
 present circumstances, and his, that 
 he sent it to church to her, and de- 
 sired the constable to whisper her, to 
 know whether it was her's, and if so, 
 to whom it was written, and when; for 
 billets of this kind have seldom any 
 date. The lady, in presence of God 
 and the priest, denied her hand, and 
 declared she knew no such person as 
 him it was directed to; and on the 
 return of the constable, my unhappy 
 friend was committed to the round- 
 house, for farther examination. I had 
 my liberty, but attended him thither 
 in friendship, where the cold pinching 
 him severely, in his unhappy condition, 
 a charitable old woman, in the neigh- 
 bourhood, brought him one of her 
 own stockings, which was blue, with 
 a white clock, to keep his naked leg 
 warm; and offered her service to sew 
 on the tattered sleeve of his coat. 
 This she carefully performed with 
 some green worsted ; and as old wo- 
 men will tattle all they know, told us, 
 while she was about it, that there was 
 strange news at their town, for fine 
 Miss G — had played sad tricks at 
 Tunbridge; in short, says she, would 
 any heart alive think it, she has come 
 down here six montlis gone with child 
 by a lord, and has been obliged this 
 morning to marry the foctinan. 
 
 1 neither need, nor can describe to 
 you, the rage and despair of ray friend 
 at this news. I could not obtain his 
 release all that day, and the next 
 morning left him. I have sent him 
 another coat, and a pair of stockings, 
 from his lodging; and hope to see him 
 in a day or two, fully cured of the 
 trade of fortune-hunting. 
 
 G- B—. 
 
 Epigram. 
 
 JACIC linnfs iii sfjie — ihe fox, <he hai e, 
 Tiie (errors of liis prowess feei" ; 
 
 Yet Jack liimself i)ijt flies fVoin Care, 
 For wh'j ■' llie Bailiff a at his Leels !
 
 Interesting Narrntroes, Emgmas^ Epigrams, Poetry^ Sec. §43 
 
 I-d;rara 11. and Edward III. 
 
 IT IS not easy to imagine a man more 
 i!)noreiitaini inofieiisive than the unhap- 
 py Eiivvard II. or a prince lessjfitted for 
 governing that fierce and tiirbulen! 
 people subjected to his authority. He 
 was r)bliged to devolve on others the 
 vvfigi'tof government, which he had 
 neither ability nor inclination to bear ; 
 the same indolence and want of pene- 
 tration, led him to make choice of 
 inin sters and fiivourites who were not 
 always the best qualified for the tiust 
 committed to them. 
 
 Edward II. was murdered Scpteiu- 
 ber 21, 1327. 
 
 THE English are apt to consider 
 with peculiar fondness the history of 
 Edwanl III. and to esteem his rei^n, 
 as it was one of the longest, the most 
 glorious also, that occurs in the annals 
 of their nation. The ascendant which 
 they then began to acquire over France, 
 their rival, and supposed national 
 enemy, makes them cast their eyes on 
 this period with great complacency, 
 and sanctifies every measure which 
 Edward embraced for that end. But 
 the domestic government of this prince 
 is really more admirable than his 
 foreijin victories; and England en- 
 jojed, by the prudence and vigour of 
 his administration, a longer interval of 
 domestic peace and tranquillity than 
 she had been blest with in any former 
 period, or than she experienced for 
 many ages after. 
 
 He died the 21st of June, 1377, 
 aged sixty-five, in the fifty-first year 
 of his reiiin. 
 
 Epitaph in Folkstone Church-Yard. 
 
 AN house lie hatb, 'tis made of such good 
 
 fash ion, 
 The tenant never shall pay for reparation ; 
 JCor will his landlord ever raise his rent, 
 Nor ever (urn him out of doors for non- 
 
 paymeat. 
 From heavy (axes too this cell is free: 
 Toeucban house, who would nottenaatbe? 
 
 Treatise on Drtinkenness. 
 DRUNIvENNESS 
 EXPELS reason, drowns the memory, dis- 
 (empers the body, defaces beauty, dimin- 
 ishes s(rength, inflames (he blood, caus- 
 es internal, external, and incurable 
 wouads, is a witch (o (he senses, a 
 devil to the soul, a (bief (o (he 
 purse,'(he beggars' companion 
 a wife's woe, and children's 
 sorrow ; (he picture of a 
 beast and self murderer, 
 who drinks to others 
 good health, and 
 robs himself of 
 HIS OWN. 
 
 LINES 
 
 Cojncdfrom a Board over the Door of John 
 Grove, of Whil.a iVallham, Berks. 
 
 JOHN GROVE, Grocer and Dealer in Cof- 
 fee and Tea, 
 
 Sells the tinest of CoDgous, and best of Bo- 
 hea, 
 
 A Dealer in Coppice, a Meas'rer of Land, 
 
 Isells the iinest of S-nulT, and the finest 
 White Sand. 
 
 A Singer of PEalms, anda Scriv'nerof Mo- 
 T'sy, 
 
 Collects the Land-tax, and sells fine Virgin e 
 Honey, 
 
 A Ragman, a Carrier, a Raker of Bread, 
 
 Aud a Clerk to the Living, as well as the 
 Dead ; 
 
 Vestry Clerk, petty Constable; sells scissars 
 and Knives, 
 
 Best Virginia, and Buckles; collects the 
 Sftiall Tithes; 
 
 Is a Treas'rer to Clubs, and a 3Iaker of 
 Wills; 
 
 He surveys Men's Estates, and vends An- 
 derson's Pills. 
 
 Woollen-draper and Hosier; sells all sorts 
 of Shoes; 
 
 With the best Earthen Ware; also lakes in 
 the News. 
 
 Deals in Hurdles and Eggs; sells the best of 
 Small Beer, 
 
 The finest Sea Coals, and's elected O'erseer, 
 
 Deputy Surveyor ; sells fine Writing Paper, 
 
 Has a Vote for the County — and Linen-dra- 
 per, 
 
 A Dealer in Cheese, and the best Hampshire 
 Bacon. 
 
 Plays the Fiddle divinely, if I'm not mis- 
 taken. 
 
 On Captain Stone. 
 AS the Earth the Earth do cover, 
 So under this Stone lies another. 
 I i2
 
 244 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Phenomena of Winter in the Polar 
 Regions. 
 
 WINTER, in our temperate regi- 
 ons, exhibits very few phenomena in 
 con-parison witi: what is visible in the 
 arctic circle. The poet Thomson, 
 therefore, has judiciously enriched 
 liis noble conclusion of the Seasons 
 vifh all the circumstances of pictu- 
 resque beauty, or terrific grandeur, 
 that could be borrowed from scenes 
 far remote from us. The famished 
 troops of wolves pouriisg from the 
 Alps; the mountains of snow rolling 
 down the precipices of the same coun- 
 try ; the dreary plains over which lhe 
 Laplander urges his rtin-deer; the 
 wonders of the icy sea; and volcanoes 
 flaming through a waste of snow, are 
 objects selected with the greatest pro- 
 priety from all that nature presents 
 most singular and striking in the vari- 
 ous domains of boreal cold and deso- 
 lation. 
 
 As we advance into the arctic 
 regions, we find them distinguished 
 by niore beautiful appearances of that 
 phenomenon which we call the aurora 
 horeaiis. In Shetland these northern 
 lights, which the natives call merry 
 dancers, a name by which ihey are 
 liuovvn to the common people even in 
 the south of Eni-land, are the constant 
 attendants of the clear evenihgs, and 
 prove a great relief amid the gloom 
 of the long winter nights. I'hey 
 commonly appear at twiiight, near the 
 horizon, of a dun colour, ap]noach- 
 ing to yellow ; sometimes conf inning 
 in that state for several hours, with- 
 out any apparent motion ; after which 
 they break out into streams of strong- 
 er light, spreading into columns, al- 
 tering into ten thousand difl'erent 
 sha))es, varying their colours from all 
 the tints of yellow to the most obscure 
 russet, and sometimes becoming on a 
 sudden extinct, We, who see onlv 
 the extremities of tiiis northern phe- 
 nomenon, can form but a f.iint idea 
 of its splendour and its conuscations. 
 
 In Siberia there is one species of the 
 aiirora borealis, which regulririy ap- 
 pears between the- north-east and east, 
 tike a luminous rainbow with number- 
 'ess colours of light radiating from it. 
 Beneath the arch is a veil of darkness, 
 through which the stars appear with 
 some brilliancy. There is another 
 kind, which begins with certain insu- 
 lated rays from the north, and others 
 from the north-east: these augment 
 by decrees, till they fill the whole 
 concavity of the sky, and form an 
 assemblage of colours inconceiveably 
 rich and magnificent : but the attend- 
 ant circumstances strike the beholders 
 with horror; for they crackle, sparkle, 
 hiss, make a whistling sound, and a 
 noise even equal to that of artificial 
 fire-works. The idea of an electrical 
 cause is strongly impressed by these 
 circumstances The natives on this 
 occasion say it is a troop of men in 
 the clouds furiously mad, who are 
 passing by. Every animal is struck 
 with fear. Even the dogs of the 
 hunters are seized with such dread, 
 that they will fall on the ground, and 
 remain immovable till the cause is 
 over. 
 
 In Hudson's Bay the firmament in 
 winter has its peculiar beauties. The 
 night is enlivened by theo«?w« boreu' 
 lis spreading its thousand lights and 
 glowing colours over the sky, not to 
 be dimmed even by spleiidour of the 
 full moon ; and the stars are of a fiery 
 redness ; while, in the day-time, mock 
 suns are frequently visible, richly ting- 
 ed with all the hues of the rainbow. 
 
 Easy Study. 
 
 MY garden neat 
 Hiij* got a seat 
 
 Tliat's hid from ev'ry eye, sir : 
 There day and night 
 I read and write, 
 
 Aad nobouy's the iciser. 
 
 On Thomas Lyster, Esq. 
 FFlf.sh and Blode as ¥cw are, so was 7; 
 Dust and Asses as /am, see sliall I'ow be.
 
 Inlerestins: Narroikes, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poein/, &;c. 245 
 
 Slate vf Marriage in Soufh Britain 
 
 IF vou "^ee a man and wornan, witL 
 little or no occasion, often fitidiug fauli 
 and correcting one another in cuw- 
 pany, you may be sure they are iuar. 
 and wife If you see a gentleman and 
 lady ill I he si»ine roacli, in profomid 
 silcii e, tiie one looking out at oji' 
 sid»'. the other at tne otSier .^ide, neve'- 
 imi;ji.je th«-v inehn any harnj to one 
 anoiher; they are alreudy honestly 
 married. 
 
 If you see a lady accidentally let 
 fall a glove or haudkercliit^f, and a 
 gentlemvn that is next lo her kindly 
 telling her of it, that she might gather 
 it up, dejiend upon it they are man 
 and wife. If you see a lady preseiii- 
 inir a gentleman with something side- 
 ways, at arm's leugth, with her head 
 turned another way, speaking to him 
 with a look and ac.-ent, different from 
 that she uses toothers, it is her hus- 
 biind. Jf you see a man and woman 
 walking in the fields, n a direct lino, 
 twenty yards distance from one an- 
 other, the man strides over a stile, and 
 goes on sans ceremonie, you may sweaj 
 tiiey are man and wife withoui fea-- 
 •of perjury. 
 
 If you see a lady, whose beautv 
 and carriage attracts the eyes i>''d 
 engages the respect of all the com 
 pany, except a certain gentleman, wl.o 
 speaks to her in a rough accent, not 
 at all affected with her charms, yon 
 JTiay be sure it is her husband, who 
 married her for love, and now slights 
 her. If you see a gentleman that is 
 courteous, obligins, and good-natured 
 to every body, except a certain female 
 that lives under the same roof with 
 him, to whom he is unreasonably cross 
 and ill-natured, it is nis wife. If you 
 see a male and female continually jar 
 ring, checking, and thwarting eacli 
 other, yet under tiie kindest terms and 
 appellations imaginable, afs my dear, 
 &c. they are man and wife. 
 
 Let all married pairs learn the fol- 
 lowing rules:— please and be pleased; 
 
 bear and forbear; wink and forgive: 
 a short lesson, !>at if well got, ii will 
 iijcrease the number of happy pairs^ 
 restore good harmony in fanu'iies, and 
 uianand wife will not be distinguished 
 by characters f'uite opposite to the end 
 of their state The tokens of finding 
 out a married couple, as the case 
 stands now, ate quite different from 
 what they were in days of yore: Abi- 
 Mieleck found out Isaac and Rtbecca 
 to be man and wife by their expres- 
 sions of fondness to one another. — 
 This would prove a sorry token now- 
 adays, and expose one tliat would go 
 upon it to manifold blunders. 
 
 The Baichelor's Soliloquy: 
 
 TO wed, or not to wed — That is the questica. 
 \TheJber 'tis .j^ppier in the mind lo stiile 
 Thebeats and (umnlts of outrageous passjopr 
 Op VTith some prudent tair in solemn con- 
 tract 
 Of matriruony join — to have — to hold — 
 V ) more— and by ibat have to say we end 
 The heart-ach, and a thousand love-sick 
 
 pangs 
 "tf celibacy — 'l.vere a cor sum mat ion 
 HevoutJy to be wish'd — in luiptial band 
 lojsin till death dissolves — '.y, there's the 
 
 rub ; 
 For in that space what dull remorse may 
 
 come. 
 When we have la'en our solemn leave of 
 
 liberty, 
 Must give us panse — There's the respect 
 'Hiat slacks onr speed in suing for a change. 
 Else — who would bear thes-corns and sneers 
 
 which bachelors 
 When aged feel, the'pains and flatt'ring 
 
 fevers 
 V»'hich each new face must give (o roving 
 
 faicy. 
 When he might rid himself at once of all 
 iJy a bare Yes. Who would with patience 
 
 bear 
 To fret and linger out a single life. 
 But the dread of something yet untry'd, 
 ir^ome hazard in a state from whose strict 
 
 bond 
 Dt\ith only can release, puzzles the will, 
 
 11(1 makes Hs rather clnii^e ihose ills we have 
 Than fly to others which we fancy greater? 
 riiifi last reflection makes us slow and wary 
 b'illing the dubious mind with dreadful 
 
 thoughts 
 Of curtain-lectures, jealousies, and cares 
 Kxlravagantly great, entail'd on wedlock, 
 Which to avoid tiie lover checks bis passion, 
 And, miserable, dies a bachelor.
 
 §46 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, fVonderful Events, 
 
 Dramatic Entertainments. 
 
 THE scenic virtue forms the rising age, 
 And truth displays her. radiance from the 
 stage. 
 
 IN the works of the dramatists, 
 the most inti-resting emotions are ex- 
 cited ; the dangerous passions of haic. 
 envy, avarice, and pride, wilii all 
 their innnmerable train of alteiidant 
 vices, are detected and exposed 
 Love, fiiendship, gratitude, and ail 
 those active and generous virtues 
 which warm the heart atid exalt the 
 mind, are held up as objects of emu- 
 lation. A fine drama well acted, may 
 justly be considered as one of the 
 highest of all intellectual gratifications. 
 
 Their most celebrated authors were 
 j^schylus, Sophocles, Eurii>ides, and 
 Aristoplnines. As were Plautus and 
 Terence among the Romans. 
 
 The design of dramatic entertain- 
 ments is to raise men's minds above 
 every thing that is mean or little; to 
 cherish and cultivate that hutiianity 
 %vhich is the ornament of their nature; 
 to soften insolence, to sooth affliction, 
 and to subdue their minds to the dis- 
 pensations of Providence. 
 
 The representation of dramatic per- 
 formances is an efl'ectual method of 
 softening the ferocity, and improving 
 the minds, of the inconsiderate. 
 >^umbers of those who have neither 
 abilities nor time for deriving advan- 
 tage from reading, are powerfully 
 impressed, through the medium of 
 the eyes and ears, with those impor- 
 tant truths, which, while they illumi- 
 nate the understanding, correct the 
 heart. 
 
 To rouse the indolent ; to wake the brave ; 
 To rescue glory from the dreary grave; 
 To show the strange vicissitudes of fate : 
 To trace the actions of the good and great ; 
 And stamp bright virtue'.s image on the heart 
 For this was lirst ordain'd the tragic art ! 
 
 The modern drama is indebted for 
 its excellei:.ie to the genius of VViiliam 
 Shakspeare, who was born in the year 
 1564, and died on his bitth-day in 
 
 His writings will remain for ever the 
 grandest nn nuinent of a genius which 
 opened to him the whole heart of man, 
 all the mines of fancy, all the stores of 
 nature, and gave him power, beyond 
 all other writers, to move, astonish, 
 and delight mankind. 
 
 The more just and refined the taste 
 of the nation has become, the more 
 he has increased in reputation ; he was 
 admired by his own age, and is almost 
 adored by the present. 
 
 The End of Writing. 
 
 THESE fair sheets of foolscap which thus 
 
 ye are spoiling, 
 Still cutting, and scribbling, and blotting, 
 
 and spoiling ; 
 This paper, I say, bad a honest begi-ning. 
 Being born of good flax, and begotten by 
 
 spinning; 
 To the loom in due time, and the rag shop 
 
 it past. 
 Into leaves of fine foolscap converted at last. 
 Xow seiz'd by the wits, it incessantly teems. 
 Or with visions in verse, or political dreams ; 
 Till his Worship, just rous'dfrom his after- 
 noon's doze. 
 With a pipe of Virginia regaleth his nose: 
 Then twisted and twirl'd, and condemned 
 
 to the taper 
 In a puff is consumed this unfortunate 
 
 paper ! 
 It is thus my good friends, that truth set- 
 
 teth before ye, 
 Of your boasted employment — the tragical 
 
 story : 
 Your choicest productions, what'er be their 
 
 name, 
 Wither'd, at the best, in the vapor oi fame: 
 That vapor, my friends, do ye think it will 
 
 stay? 
 Like his Worship's last whiff, it will vanish 
 
 away ! 
 
 Address before a Dinner at Guildhall, on 
 Lord- Mayor's Day. 
 
 RAGOUTS, fish, soups, wild ducks, and ca- 
 pons, 
 
 This day onr festal table grace : 
 Port, sherry, bock. Champagne, and claref, 
 
 t*rown the homogeneous mass. 
 With straining throats, capacious stomachs, 
 
 Let HS gorge in spite of sorrow ; 
 Pain and liead-ache, broth and gruel, 
 
 We w ill banish — till to-morrow.
 
 Interesting Narratives, EnigmaSy Epigrams, Poetn/, SfC. 247 
 
 Letter of a travellinrr; Groom, givinf^ 
 an account of Paris and if the 
 French, precious to the French 
 Revolution . 
 
 " Dear Jackson, 
 
 " HAVING received your's per 
 course, this serves to let you know 
 that I am well and hearty. 
 
 " Since yoii and your sister Bess 
 desiie it, I shall now write to \ou 
 about the description of this here 
 town and country . h\ niv own pri- 
 vate opinion, Paris is but a tiresome 
 city to live in, for there is none of the 
 common necessaries of life, as porter 
 or good ale; and as for their beef, 
 they boil it to rags. Wine lo be sure 
 is cheaper here, but not so strong and 
 genuine as in London. 
 
 "I have been at the French king's 
 palace, which they call Versailles in 
 their language; it is out of town, the 
 8ame as Kew or Windsor is with our 
 king: I went first and foremost to see 
 the stables, which, to be sure, is very 
 grand, and there they have some very 
 good-looking horses, especially Eng- 
 lish hunters: it grieved me to see so 
 many of our own best subjects in the 
 service of our lawful enemy, which, 
 to be sure, the French king is. 
 
 " We little think how many of our 
 fellow-creatures are seduced from 
 England to distant countries, and 
 exposed to the worst of usage, from 
 both the French aud the Spaniards; 
 for none of them know hov^ an Eng- 
 lish liorse ought to be treated. 
 
 " When I was at Versailles, I saw 
 the dauphiness, which is all the same 
 as the Prince of Wales's wife with us ; 
 she is one of the prettiest women 1 
 have seen in France, being very fair 
 and blooming; and more like an Eng- 
 lishwoman than a French. 
 
 " She rides like the ladies in Eng- 
 land, with boih her legs on the same 
 side of the horse ; whereas I have 
 seen many women, since I came 
 abroad, ride on horseback like men, 
 which I think a bad contrivance, and 
 
 I am surprised that their husbands 
 permit it. 
 
 " I have seen the French horse- 
 guards, which they call jongdarmes; 
 the men are sraart-lookinu young 
 fellows enough, but the horses are 
 poor, washy things, in comparison of 
 our dragoons. 
 
 "The Swiss guards are stout men, 
 clothed in scarlet, the same as our 
 soldiers; but they have moustaches 
 on their lips, like the rat-catcher itl 
 St. Giles's 
 
 "The French foot-guards are dres- 
 sed in blue, and all the marching 
 reoiments in white, which has a very 
 foolish appearance for soldiers; and 
 as for blue regimentals, it is only fit 
 for the blue horse, or the artillery. 
 
 " I believe the French army would 
 have no great chance with our troops, 
 in a fair battle, upon plain ground. 
 It is lucky for the i\!oun-eers, that 
 there is no road between Dover and 
 Calais; but as it is, I wonder the 
 king does not send some regiments by 
 sea to take Paris, which would make 
 no great resistance ; for there is no 
 walls round the city. 
 
 " I have sent unto you, by the 
 bearer, a pappy mashee tobacco-box, 
 and a dozen pair of gloves, for your 
 sistjr, who will also deliver to you 
 this letter, which I have taken three 
 days in writing, to oblige you and 
 your sister; and I durst not write by 
 the post, for if the French found this 
 letter, they would take me up as a 
 spy, and shut me up in the Ba->tile, 
 during my life; and in England, I am 
 told, all foreign letters are opened by 
 the ministry, in which case, this might 
 brin^ you into trouble, because of 
 the box and gloves, which being 
 counteiband, against the act of Par- 
 liament, the king would be enraged 
 if he knew of such a thing, which 
 stands'to reason, all smuggled goods 
 being so much money out of his 
 pocket. — All from, dear Ben, with my 
 kind !(nc to \ouv si:ler, 
 
 «'T. li."
 
 218 TJlerary Curiosities, Epitaplia, Wonderful Events,, 
 
 JIl-Fated Murderer. 
 
 A NATIVE of Berlin, had accom- 
 panied some of liib companions to tin- 
 house of a fellow, who assumed the 
 character of a fortune teller; aiu! 
 having disobliged hiin, by expressin<r 
 a contempt of his nrt, the fellow, out 
 of revenge, prophesied, that this man 
 should die on a scaffold. This seemed 
 to make little impression at the time, 
 but afterwards recurred eften to this 
 unhappy creature's memory, and be- 
 came every day more troublesome to 
 his imaoinution. — At length, the idea 
 haunted his mind so incessantly, that 
 he was rendered perfectly miserable, 
 and could no longer endure life. 
 
 He would have put himself to death 
 •with his own hands, had he not been 
 deterred by the notion, that God 
 Almighty never forgave suicide: he 
 resolved therefore to commit murder, 
 that' he might be deprived of life by 
 the hands of justice; and mingling p 
 sentiment of benevolence with the 
 cruelty of his intcntioii, he reflected, 
 that if he murdered a grown person, 
 he might i)ossibly send a soul to hell. 
 To avoid ihi*, he determined to 
 murder a child, who could not have 
 committed any sin, but dying in inno- 
 cence would go immediately to heaven. 
 He actually murdered an infant of his 
 master's. * Such was the strange ac- 
 count, t;i^''''i by this infatuated crea- 
 ture on his trial : and thus the random 
 prophecy proved the cause of its own 
 coraplelion. 
 
 In Caversham Church-Yard. 
 
 THE Lord saw good, I was lopping off 
 wood, 
 
 And down fell from the tree ; 
 I met with a cliof 1;, and I broke my neck, 
 
 And so death lof p'd oi? me. 
 
 Bath Festivilies. 
 
 TNVOirJi«ic:i' parties to Bladud l}elnn?. 
 To delight the old rooms and the upper; 
 
 One Kivfs lo the ladies a supper, no song, 
 'Xlie other, a song and no supper. 
 
 The Inn. 
 
 ALL the comforts of life in a tavern are 
 
 known, 
 'Tis liis home v\!io possesses not one of his 
 
 11 wn ; 
 And (o him that has rather too much of that 
 
 one, 
 'Tis the house of a fsiend where he's welcome 
 
 10 run: 
 The instant you enter my door, you're my 
 
 1 ord, 
 V/i(h whose taste and whose pleasure I'm 
 
 proud (o accord ; 
 And the louder you call, and the longer you 
 
 stay. 
 The more I am happy to serve and obey. 
 
 To the house of a friend if you're pleasd to 
 
 retire, 
 Yea must all thinjrs admit, you must all 
 
 things admire ; 
 You must "pay with observance the price of 
 
 your treat, 
 You must eat what is* prais'd, and must 
 
 praise what you eat : 
 
 But here you may come, and no lax we re- 
 quire, 
 
 Yon may loudly condemn what you greatly 
 admire; 
 
 Y'ou may growl at our wishes and pains to 
 excel, 
 
 And may snarl at the rascals who please you 
 so well. 
 
 At your wish we attend, and confess that 
 
 your speech 
 On the nation's affairs, might the minister 
 
 teach ; 
 His views you may blame, and his measures 
 
 oppese. 
 There's no tavern-treason, — you're under 
 
 the rose: 
 Should rebellions arise in your own little 
 
 state, 
 With me you may safely their consequence 
 
 wait ; 
 To recruit your lost spirits 'tis prudent lo 
 
 come. 
 And to fly to a friend when the d 's at 
 
 home. 
 
 That I've faults is confess'd, but il won't be 
 
 denied 
 'Tis my interest the faults of my neighbours 
 
 to hide ; 
 If I've sometimes lent scandal occasion lo 
 
 prate, 
 I've often conceal'd what she'd lovelo relate: 
 If to Justice's bar some have >vander'd from 
 
 mine, 
 'Twas because the dull rogues woaldn'tstay 
 
 by I heir wine; 
 And for brawls at my house, well the poet 
 
 explains. 
 That men drink shallow draughts and so 
 
 tuaddea their brains.
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas^ Epigrams, Poetri/, Sfc. 249 
 
 David ap Blunder's 'Narrative. 
 
 I WAS born in the fairy land of 
 simplicity and ijruorance, at tile foot 
 of one of the Welch mountains; but 
 though remote from tlie crowded cir- 
 cles of social exislence, the f;cjiius 
 with which nature had endowed my 
 soul, was too powerful to remain Ions 
 inactive or unnoticed. It burst foriii. 
 not as usual in our day^', into poetical 
 bparks, but into unf()iin<ied supposi- 
 tions and novel systems, the sophistical 
 brilliancy of which caused them to 
 wear in my eyes the appearance of 
 truths. I did the world, uhicli m\ 
 imagination alone had then explored, 
 the injustice to tlimk it honest! Not 
 saiisfied with forming such a wild and 
 erroneous supposition, ''as I had sucked 
 up no small portion of obstinacy with 
 my mother's milk) I boldly undertook 
 to defend my oi>inion, even against 
 the learned parson of our village, who 
 frequently visited at my father's ftrn). 
 He loved all his parishioners so ten- 
 derly, that he was incessantly exhort- 
 ing them from the pulpit, to check 
 any wish Satan may awaken in their 
 minds, to leave their tiative serjues- 
 tered vales, and seek vicious cities and 
 a corrupted world. He frequently 
 repaired to their cottages, and was so 
 bent upon increasing their, happiness, 
 that he willingly sacrificed a portion 
 of his dignity as a minister of the 
 church, to their amusement. Every 
 Sunday evening, as he put on his gown 
 to preach, he always concealed his 
 fiddle and fiddle-stick under it : and 
 no sooner were the prayers and sermon 
 over, than he hastened to an adjoining 
 lawn, and unrobing himself, took his 
 station on the top of an ale barrel, at 
 the foot of a large tree, and began to 
 display his musical talents, in a man- 
 ner that set all the barefooted lasses 
 and youths dancing ; (a practice not 
 uncommon in Wales some years a<iO ) 
 The conduct of this worthy minister 
 atVorded me such fair ground for sup- 
 
 positions, that I could not resist the 
 overpowering bi^s of ray disposition; 
 find what proved rather unfortunate 
 for me, I was unable to keep my own 
 remarks secret. Conscious that every 
 parishioner was obliged to pay him 
 tithes, 1 fancied he advised them so 
 strongly not to settle in towns, which 
 he represented as the seat of all vices, 
 merely in order that his income might 
 sutler no ditninution. His frequent 
 visits were paid, I thought, rather to 
 the poultry and pigs, \^ hose increase 
 he watched, than to the villagers them- 
 selves. As to his wishing to amuse 
 the youth of the hamlet, and teach 
 them to take innocent and useful ex- 
 ercise, the plentiful drauu;hts of ale 
 with which he was supplied, and tlie 
 collection always made in his favour, 
 caused me to believe that he was not 
 so disinterested as he always studied 
 to appear. These observations I com- 
 municated to my companions, who 
 soon spread them through the village, 
 and it was soon resolved to try their 
 truth, by allowing the parson, the fol- 
 lowing Sunday, to play on his fiddle, 
 without any refreshment whatever. — 
 He bore his disiippointment with great 
 patience during the whole evening; 
 but early the next day, he inquired 
 so diligently after the author of the 
 plot, that I was discovei'ed. Recol- 
 lecting that, a few days before, I had 
 puzzled him, to the great astonish- 
 ment of my father, and a few neigh- 
 bours, by refuting some of his argu- 
 ments iigainst cities, which I tried to 
 vindicate from his imputations, in or- 
 der to secure the absence of a rebel- 
 lious parishioner: he represented to 
 my father, that the only means of al- 
 tering my dangerous opinion was to 
 ■<end me either to London, Edinburgh, 
 Liverpool, or any of tlie commercial 
 towns in the north. His advice was 
 followed; I had an uncle, who fifteen 
 years before had left our country for 
 L< ndon, and from whom we had heard 
 but once during the whole of this long 
 Kk
 
 ^50 Liter art/ Curiosities, Epitaphs., Wonderful Events ^ 
 
 period. I now was ordrred to see}; 
 liiui in the metropoiis of Eiighmr', 'rti> 
 in order to fit me for tiie journe>, i\. 
 father bought nie a pair of shoes mi. 
 stockings, the first I ever wore, gav\ 
 jue foiir guineas in gold, the first ! 
 ever si-w, and bade me walk my v.v.^ 
 to niv uncle, who wouhl no doubt fiu 
 some employment for a lusty younj^ 
 fellow, as I then was. 
 
 To how nrduy new and brilliant 
 suppositions did not nny new situation 
 j;ive birth ! My shoes and stockings, 
 ] funcied, were luxuries whirh none 
 but fichlliii" ministers, country squires, 
 or rich farn)er«, ouuht to wear. My 
 four guineas, 1 thought, must equal 
 the wealth of our prince, an imaginary 
 being too, 1 supposed, (liut I was not 
 the only one) for I had never heard 
 of his having been seen bv any of my 
 countrymen residing in Wales. Yet 
 in the midst of these pleasing ideas, a 
 supposition of another kind suddenly 
 started nj), and nearly put every other 
 consideration to flight. If my uncle 
 were dead, I mentally exclaimed, who 
 would receive me in that immense 
 metropolis, the fame of which has 
 even reached the foot of Snowdon? 
 Who would polish the native rudeness 
 of iny appearance, my language, an.l 
 my manners, in order that 1 may hope 
 one day to attain the same perfection 
 as her ciiizens? However, I comforted 
 myself with the thought, that the title 
 of a stranger, like a golden key, would 
 open every heart, and raise me up a 
 friend in every man I should meet. 
 
 Swelled with expectation, I set out 
 on my journey, and was not a little 
 surprised, when on reaching a richer 
 pari of Wales, 1 perceived that my 
 shoes and stockings, which I consi- 
 dered as luxuries, were here looked 
 upon as necessaries, without which, not 
 even the poorest heggar durst show 
 himself, ^ly pride vsas a little hum- 
 bled at finding myself scarcely on a 
 level with people over whom I ex- 
 pected to touei. " but I have got 
 
 four guineas iu gold too," I excbimed 
 pulling them out of my pocket, and 
 contemplating them siiining in the sun, 
 '' and why should not each of these, 
 n time, produce four or five others, 
 i the same manner, but with still 
 • lore rapidity than the human species]" 
 sot being able to answer my own in- 
 trrogation satisfactorily, I admired 
 lliem a second time, and resolved to 
 keep then) untouched till, some how 
 or other, I was not able to explain, 
 they should have produced the effect 
 1 have already mentioned ; supposing 
 that hospitality would spread its stores, 
 unasked for and gratuitously, on my 
 journey through England and through 
 life. This supposition was the more 
 reasonable, as in my native village, 
 every cottage door would have been 
 opened to vvelcome a stranger in ; and 
 the habit of greeting with smiles e\ery 
 houseless wanderer, had led me into 
 the error of expectnig the same treat- 
 ment. Finding myself tired, I ap- 
 proached a large house, on either side 
 of the door of which tables and benches 
 were placed in a neat order. " Oh ! 
 blessed country, (thought I) whose 
 mlabitantsare not satisfied with grant- 
 ing rest or food to the weary traveller 
 when it is required; they do not wait 
 till a modest knock bids them open 
 their doors, they unfold them all day 
 long, that 'the step of want should not 
 be checked a single moment. They 
 spread tables, they fix benches befoie 
 their houses, and even choose the most 
 frequented roads, in oider that their 
 good intentions, their generous liberal- 
 ity should meet with more opportuni- 
 ties of exerting themselves for the 
 public good. They even plant signs 
 to inform the needy tiiat here every 
 assistance will be afforded them" By 
 the time I had couchuled these reflec- 
 tions, 1 had reachtd the house in ques- 
 tion, and sitting on one of the empty 
 benches, read in every face arourid me 
 joy and gratitude, and silently ad- 
 mired the abundant fare with which
 
 IntereHins^ Narratines, Ems;ma$, Epigrams, Poetry^ ^c. 251 
 
 my pielec-ssors wen- suppied. On 
 a sudden, a man whom I took for the 
 master of the house, quickly ran to- 
 wards nip, and asked me what I should 
 likp to have, M-nply refreslmient, or a 
 dinner. I starred up. and b wed as 
 courteonslv as his civilit\ deserved; 
 he bowed in his turn, siill lowei than 
 1 iiad done, and lo'fl mc they had got 
 excellent roa-^t beef, porter, or ale, or 
 wine if 1 >>hi'uid prefer it. With ale 
 alone I was acquaitited, I therefore 
 thanked him for his kindness, and told 
 him the roast beef, porter and wine 
 wouiil bt h<;h!\ uelconie. He bowed 
 aa<iin, and without wailJnir for a re- 
 turn from me, sprane into the house, 
 and n turned with a clean cloth, witii 
 which he covered the table, and a knift- 
 and fork, which he laid before niP. 
 In a short time he brought a piece <jv' 
 roasted beef, iari;e enough to silence 
 every appetite, by its bulk alone, a 
 bottle contaiiiing a red liquor, and a 
 shining pot filled with porter. Th' 
 latter I fasted first, but H()t liking it 
 much, i frieifthe wine, which pleased 
 me more. I thtn began my repast, 
 and 1 knew not why my spirits rose so 
 high, but I almost fancied myself a 
 liing. As every good heart wishes to 
 share his pleasures and prosperity wiili 
 his friends, I took out my guineas, 
 kissed them with rapture, and in or- 
 der that neither them nor 1 should 
 forget this happy day, made a notch 
 on each of tliem with my knife, and 
 then laid one of them at each corner 
 of my table, that we might not lose 
 sight of each other during the whole 
 of the repast. Tiie man who had 
 already displayed so much civility to 
 wards me, now complimented me on 
 possessing so niiiny lisefiii friends, and 
 asked rue whether I sliouid wish to 
 spend the night in the house, as he 
 could accommodate me with a bed. 
 This new mark of kindness raised m\ 
 friendship and gratitude to such a 
 pitch, thai I pressed him to sit down 
 by my side, and partake of my repast. 
 
 He willingly accepted my invitation, 
 and we contimied feasting and drink- 
 ing, till I lost the recollection of the 
 present, and even of my guineas, in 
 the deepest sleep I ever enjoyed. 
 
 When I awoke, it was morning. I 
 looked around me, and found myself 
 in a comfortable bed, and in a room 
 whicli, in my estimation, could belong 
 to no one less than a prince. ! soon 
 got up, and descending tiie stairs, met 
 my friendly companion of the pre- 
 ceding niglit. He advised me to stay 
 to breakfast. To this I had no objec- 
 tion ; and when it was over, prepared 
 to set off, when he presented me with 
 a long paper filled with black charac- 
 ters which it was impossible for me to 
 read. I therefore asked him to do it 
 for nie; and judge of my astonish- 
 ment wlien f heard that it contained 
 an account of my expenses, which 
 aniounfed, he told me, to twenty 
 shillings: and he hoped I would not 
 forget file waiter, so as to make up 
 the whole of the guinea. Astonishment 
 nearly SLiftocated me ; I felt myself 
 i;rovving pale with apprehension, and 
 when my voice returned, could only 
 tsk, "What is your house then ?" — 
 " It is a public liouse," was the an- 
 swer. " if so, you have of course 
 no right to make me pay for any thing, 
 since it is for the use of the public," 
 Loud bursts of laughter followed my 
 re})ly and two or three other men 
 arriving at the same moment, he gave 
 them an account of what he called my 
 mistake. They laughed immoderately 
 with him, whilst 1 remained grasping 
 aiy pocket, and not knowing what to 
 say. At last they attempted to make 
 the case clear, and my former com- 
 panion informing them that I was rich 
 in guineas, they finished by persuad- 
 ing me that 1 could not do otherwise 
 than |)ay one of them as the price of 
 my entertainmeiit. With a heavy 
 heart, and scarcely able to check the 
 tears thatslaiied in my eyes, I put 
 my hand iu the one pocket, then in the 
 I k 2
 
 252 Literary Curlosil'ies^ Epitapha, Wonderful Events, 
 
 other, in the former again, then in the 
 latter, aiid oh! woeful to t* !I, my 
 guineas were there no longer! Shonid 
 you wish to know the sequel of m> 
 story and eventful life, you will l>e so 
 good as to wait a few days lotiger, as 
 this letter is so long, that my memory 
 is out of bieath, and my paper and 
 ink exhausted. 
 
 David ap Blunder. 
 
 A good Excuse. 
 
 I HEARD a judge his tipstaff call, 
 
 And say, " Sir, I desire ; 
 You go i'ortiiwith and search the hall, 
 
 Aud send me in the crier." 
 
 " And search, my lord, in vain I may," 
 
 The lipstatr gravely said ; 
 " The crier cannot cvy to-day, 
 
 Because hin wife is dead," 
 
 Experiments 
 
 AN Irish student at Oxford having 
 a horse, and finding his keep very 
 expensive, tliought he might eai«ily by 
 degrees bring him to live without Jiay 
 or oats, and so abstracted daily some- 
 thing from his food, till at last the 
 horse died ; a friend asked him how 
 his horse came to die? — " Why, I 
 thought to have made him live on 
 not hill t^ ; and just as I brought him 
 to it, lie died." 
 
 The Termagant. 
 
 TOM disputing one day with his termagant 
 
 wife. 
 Said, " Doll, you're the torment and plague 
 
 of my life, 
 " Not a day can elapse, but, with arguments 
 
 new, 
 " Some brawl, or contention's occasion'd by 
 
 you ; 
 " Indeed, ill your face ifs most fully display 'd, 
 " The wicked, ill-temper'd, extravagant 
 
 jade." 
 " With faults so apparent," ia fury, Doll 
 
 cry'd, 
 " Pm iurpris^d yon should ever have made 
 
 me your bride." 
 " Indeed," reply'd Tom, " v.hat you say's 
 
 very true, 
 *' It is wliat has surprised nsany more bc- 
 
 siiits you!" 
 
 How to multiply Flies. 
 
 THE child of an Irish grocer, in 
 St Giles's, very nparl> escaped death, 
 from a poisonous niixfiiri- used as fly- 
 wiiter, which was incautiously laid 
 iijton a shelf behind tlit' counter, wlx-re 
 the poor child got at it, aud had taken 
 a consiileiable quaiit:tv with a tea- 
 spoon before the danger of it was dis- 
 covered. The father upbraided his 
 wife with the folly ot leavinir the mix- 
 ture in the chihi's way, or attempting 
 to kill the flies " -^X all, at all," adding, 
 " Sure yon know, that killing files only 
 increases them? for every one you kill, 
 jifty more come to his fu:ier;d, aiid 
 will stay with you as long as they can 
 iiiid any sugar in the shop." - 
 
 A good Match. 
 
 A NATIVE, just arrived from India's land, 
 Wish'd to appear gay, buckish, fine, and 
 
 grand ; 
 Flesh-colour'd stockings he found all the 
 
 fashion, 
 So that, asothpr puppies he mishl dash on , 
 He straight repairinii to a hosies'sshop, 
 Flesh-colour'd stockings call'd for, like a 
 
 fop. 
 The hosier, fonder of hie joke than trade, 
 Of black silk hose a parcel quick display 'd. 
 " Hov\- !" said the Indian, " flesh-colour'd 
 
 I sought," 
 And was to a prodigious passion wrought. 
 The hosier held a pair politely to his hand, 
 Saying, " A better match you'll lind notia 
 
 the Strand." 
 
 AN INSCRIPTION ON INSCRIPTIONS; 
 
 The following Lines were written on seeing 
 a farrago of Rhymes that had been scrib- 
 bled with a Diamond on the ff'indow of 
 an Inn. 
 
 YE who on windows thus prolong your 
 
 shames. 
 And to such arrant nonsense sigH your 
 
 na mes ; 
 The diamond quit, with me the pencil fake, 
 So shall your shame but short duration 
 
 make ; 
 For lo, the housemaid comes, in dreadful 
 
 pet, 
 With red right-hand, and with a dish-clout 
 
 wet, 
 Dashes out all, nor leaves a wreck to tell, 
 Who 'twas that !»ro/c so til — and lov'd so 
 
 ice/?.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, S^^c. 253 
 
 Richard If. 
 
 ALL the writers wlio have trans- 
 mitted to us tlie history of Richard, 
 composed theiru'oiks during the reign 
 of the Lancastrian princes ; and cand- 
 our requires, that we siiouhi not give 
 entire credit to the reproaches wliich 
 have been thrown upon liis memory. 
 But, after making all proper ^abate- 
 ments, he stili appears to have been 
 a weak prince, and unfit for govern- 
 ment; less for want of natural parts 
 mid capacity, than of solid judgment 
 and good education. 
 
 lie was violent in his temper, pro- 
 fuse in his expenses, fond of idle show 
 and magniiicence, devoted to favorites 
 and addicted to pleasure; passions, 
 all of 'them, the most inconsistent with 
 a prudent economy, and consequently 
 dangerous in a limited and mixed 
 government. 
 
 Ptichard IL was starved, or murder- 
 ed in prison, after having been de- 
 throned, A. D. 1399, in the 34th 
 year of his age, and the 23rd of his 
 reign. 
 
 An Advertisement of a Breeches- 
 Maker. 
 
 NUNN, breeches-maker, in Wig- 
 more-street, between Cavendisb and 
 Portman-squares, begs leave to ac- 
 quaint the nobility, gentry, and 
 others, that by many years practice, 
 close attention, and study, he has dis- 
 covered a scientific plan, by geometry, 
 never before known, which many of 
 the trade (as well as gentleman who 
 have had proof of its utility) allow to 
 excel (for ease and neatness in fitting) 
 all they ever made trial of; for other 
 performances, guided by idea only, 
 though improved by practice, can 
 never amount to science. 
 
 Gentlemen's orders I obey 
 
 Most expeditiously; 
 In makini? breeches, which display 
 
 It* great utility. 
 
 Amusing Question. 
 
 SE\'ER AL authors give an account 
 of Joseph of Arimathea coming into 
 Britain, and planting the gospel at 
 Glastonbury; and that Mary Magda- 
 len, Lazaius, and Pilartiia, came over 
 with him. Also that Simon Zelotes 
 suffered martyrdom here, and St. 
 Peter and St. Paul came and preach- 
 ed the gospel here also. As it appears 
 something strange for people of so 
 great age as these must be (especially 
 tlie women) to take so long a journev : 
 Query. — Whether those holy persons 
 ever were in Britain; and if not, who 
 was the first that planted Chrislianity 
 in this island. 
 
 The Pleasures of Bath. 
 
 TO drink without thirst, and to ask yonr 
 
 physician, 
 A thou;*and odd questions to mend your 
 
 condition ; 
 To raise up your spirits against wind and 
 
 tide, 
 With a hundred sick people just close by 
 
 your side ; 
 To sit down to dinner with persons who 
 
 grumble, 
 At every new dish, which they hardly can 
 
 mumble ; 
 And, when this delightful repast is gone by. 
 For something to do next you yawn and you 
 
 sigh. 
 'Tis too hot (o walk out, and you doze in 
 
 your seat, 
 Till the cool of the evening succeeds to the 
 
 heat ; 
 A nap then comes on, and you lose then the 
 
 pow'r. 
 To enjoy the delight of the cool balmy hour; 
 l^orjoy on the next day your fancy you cast. 
 When it comes, you mis-spend it as had as 
 
 the last. 
 
 An Epigram. 
 JOHN courted .Tenny, but for why, 
 
 None e'er pretended to discover; 
 'Tis true she has one rolling eye ! 
 
 Enough io fascinate a lover. 
 What though her form displease the sight. 
 
 Her wit is more than common ; 
 What tho' she is a very fright, 
 
 She's what John wants — a woman. 
 
 Epitaph in a Village in Suffolk. ■ 
 LIFE is only pain below. 
 When Chrisl ai>pears, then — np wcgo.
 
 254 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events, 
 
 " One kind Kiss before we part" 
 
 A YOUNG lady having jiurclj-ased 
 an assortment of music at a wate- 
 house, situate in the western pari of 
 the Metropolis, on refuriiing t(» hi 
 carriage, recollected a piece which slu 
 bad neglected to buy. — " Sir," sain 
 she, on re-enterini; the shop, "there 
 is yet one thing whicli 1 had forgotten, 
 and which I must now request yon U> 
 give me."— " And what is that? re- 
 plied the ^-lung niusic-seller. " It is, 
 sir—" One kind Kiss b* fore we part.' 
 — The gay jouth, vaulting instaiiluue- 
 ously over the table, saluted the fair 
 stranger ! 
 
 THE FAIR EQUIVOQUE: 
 
 An Epigram. 
 
 AS blooming Harriot niov'd a\nng, 
 The fairest of the befiuJeou* IhroDg, 
 The beaux gaz'd on v» ith admiratiou, 
 Avow'd by many aaexclainalion ! 
 What form! what nuivete! what grace! 
 What roses deck that Grecian face! 
 "Nay," Dashwood cries, "that bloom's noi 
 
 Harriot's, 
 Twas bought at Reynold's, Moores, or Mar- 
 riott's, 
 And Iho' you vow her face untainted, 
 I swear, by G — , your beauty's painted." 
 A wager instantly was laid. 
 And Ranger, sought the lovely maid ; 
 The pending bet he soon reveal'd, 
 Nor e'en th' impious oath conceal'd. 
 Confus'd — her cheeii bore witness true, — - 
 By turns the roses came and flew. 
 " Your bet,'"' she said " is rudely odd — 
 But I am painted, sir — by God." 
 
 ON TWO POETS, 
 
 Buried in the same Grave. 
 
 BENEATH one tomb here sleep two faith- 
 ful friends. 
 
 Constant thro' life, united in their ends ; 
 
 Their studies, their amusements were the 
 same, 
 
 Alike their genius, and alike their fame; 
 
 By fortune favour'd, or !>y want oppress'd, 
 
 Still tliey in common ev'ry thing i)o«.ses.v'(l ; 
 
 One heart, one mind, one purse, tlio' small 
 their riches, 
 
 Cneroom, one bed, one hat, one pair of 
 breeches. 
 
 Anecdote of Mr. Fox. 
 
 THE ininiortal I'ox, when a youth, 
 iiiceling a blind woman on Easter 
 Monday, who was crNing pudciings 
 nd pies, took her bv the hand, and 
 aid, "Come along «iilj me, Dame, 
 am a going to Moortields, where 
 i his holiday time, you may chance to 
 meet with good custom " Thank you 
 kindly, sir, replied she. Whereupon 
 he conducted her to Cripplegate 
 church, and placed her in the middle 
 aisle. "Now," said he, "you are in 
 iVloorfiekh :" which she believing to 
 be true, immediately cried out> " Hot 
 jsuddings and pies! here they are, all 
 hot !" 
 
 Anecdote of Dean Swift. 
 
 SWIFT, in his lunacy, had some 
 lucid inteivals, at which time all his 
 physiciiiu^^ took him out for the air. 
 When they came to the park, Swifl 
 remarked a new building, and asked 
 what it was designed for, to which 
 Doctor Kingsbury answered, " That, 
 Mr. Dean, is the magazine for arms 
 and powder for the security of the 
 cit}." " Oh!" said the dean, pulling 
 out his pocket-book, let me lake an 
 item of that; that is worth remarking; 
 my tablets, as Hamiet says, mi/ tablets; 
 memory, put down that;" on which 
 he wrote the following lines, which 
 were the last he ever wrote: 
 
 " Behold a proof of Irish sense ; 
 
 " Here Irish wit is seen ; 
 « When nothing's left that's worth defence, 
 
 " We build a magazine." 
 
 and then put up his pocket-book, 
 laus*liing heartily at the conceit, and 
 linishing it with these words: " After 
 the steed is stolen, shut the stable 
 door." After which he never said a 
 sensible word; so that these lines tmiy 
 be said lo be tiie last speech and dying 
 words of his wit. 
 
 Epitaph at St. Dunslan's, Stepney. 
 HKRR lies the body of Daniel Saul, 
 Spitalfitldis Weaver, and that's all.
 
 Interesfmg Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poehy, S>i-c. 255 
 
 Ens:Uih. 
 
 NOTHING c .iitributes so muc 
 to give an Eiiglishman a reii •' 
 relish foi Ills native country, an (lass 
 iii<» a few years in other countries 
 Yet w'iili more cause to relish lit. 
 than any mhei people, the EnoJish an 
 much heliect it they do not enjoy it 
 less. This has been imputed to the- 
 climate: l)Ut that will not es|)lain th'^ 
 matter; fordo you not meet EHglibh- 
 men in every province of Fiance and 
 Italy, fretting and fiownini; with all 
 the luxuries of life :n their command, 
 while the peasants of the one country, 
 were dancing and singing in rags, and 
 those of the other stretched on the 
 ground, satisfied with the luxuries ol 
 sun-shine and chesnuts. 
 
 Of what avail is their hoasted phi 
 losophy to the English, if they arc 
 behind other nations in the great 
 science of happiness? It is pretty 
 generally allowed, even among the 
 Engli-h, that they do not make the 
 most of life; that is, that they do 
 not enjoy it with all the satisfaction 
 other nations do. Many of them are 
 tired of life, before it is half over; 
 and a greater proportion abridge its 
 duration voluntarily, than of any 
 other country. Besides permanent 
 gloom, certain malignant particles, 
 either arising from the soil, or trans- 
 mitted like the pestilence, from an- 
 other countiy, seem, at particular 
 periods, to infect the minds of our 
 countiymen with the spirit of dissen- 
 tion, and impair the happiness that 
 might be expected from the excellence 
 of their constitution, and other ad- 
 vantages which they enjoy over every 
 ©iher [ eople. 
 
 Epigram. 
 
 DICK, after drunk, when crcp-sick grave- 
 ly swore, 
 
 That whilst he breath'd, he never wonld 
 diink more; 
 
 Dick daily tipsy grows, nor perjur'd thinks 
 
 Himself, but swears he breathes not whilst 
 be drinks. 
 
 Lombard-Street, 
 
 A CITIZEN of London, who in 
 in unUuky whim had retired into the 
 ountry, soon alter expressed his 
 regret in the following terms: 
 
 — They talk of the pleasures of the 
 country, but would to God I had 
 iievei been persuaded to leave the la- 
 ii"ur of the ci'y for such woeful plea- 
 sures. O I-omI ard-street ! 1 ombard- 
 street ! In an evil hour ilid I forsake 
 ;hce for verdant walks and flowery 
 landscapes, and that there tiresome 
 p'ece of made water. What walk is 
 so, agreeable as a walk throuijli the 
 streets of London ? What landscape 
 more flowery than those in the print- 
 ^hops. And what water was made by 
 man equal to the 1 hames ? If here 
 1 venture to walk but a short way 
 bo\ond my own fielils, I may be wet 
 ihrough by a sudden showtr, and ex- 
 posed to the wind of every quarter 
 before I get under shelter; but ia 
 wa'kino through the streets of Li)ndon, 
 if it rains, a man can shelter hiniseU' 
 under the piazzas; if the wind is in 
 his face while he walks along one 
 street, he may turn into another; if 
 he is hungry, he can be refreshed at 
 th.e pastry shops ; if tired, he can 
 call a hackney coach ; and he is sure 
 of meeting with entertainment every 
 evening at the club. 
 
 In Guildford Church- Yard, 
 
 READER, pass on, ne'er waste your time, 
 Oq bad biography and bitter rhj me, 
 For what i an» this cumbrous clay insures. 
 And what I was, is no ajtair of your's. 
 
 ST. ALBANS, HERTS. 
 
 On William Braithwaitc, Whitesmith, 
 
 AIY sledge and hammers lie reclin'd, 
 -VJy btUows, loo, lave lest their wind. 
 My fine's extinct, my forge dtcatfd. 
 And in the dust my vice is lay'd. 
 .My coal is spent, my fuel's gone, 
 ?,lyf nails arc dicce, my work is done, 
 My fire-dry' d corpse lies here at rest, 
 My soul smoke-Uk<.'s uscmding to be ble»t.
 
 255 JLiterari/ Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Spanish Grandees, 
 
 THEY seem to be a race apart in 
 that kingdom ;_ they engross the high- 
 est offices, and are employed in atten- 
 dance on the Iving's person, though 
 very seldom in the afiaiis of govern- 
 ment. It is said, that their education 
 and talents are generally of a nature 
 lo prevent this being a loss to the 
 public. Their persons, as well as 
 their minds, are thought more dimi- 
 nutive than the usual human size in 
 their own country. Those who assert 
 this, impute It to their intermarrying 
 constantly with each other, and to 
 some other physical causes. The 
 Spanish nobility seldom eat at each 
 other's houses, though they reside the 
 ■whole year at Madrid; haidly any 
 of them live at their seats in the pro- 
 vinces, or even go at all to the coun- 
 try, except those whose offices oblige 
 them to accompany the royal family, 
 when they visit the different country 
 places, at stated periods of the year. 
 Considering the natural beauty and 
 fertility of many provinces oi Spain, 
 it seems surprising, that they, in 
 general, should prefer a town to a 
 country life. 
 
 Few of the nobility of Spain dis- 
 play any taste for the pursuits of liter- 
 ature. What is also singular, that 
 notwithstanding princes of the house 
 of Bourbon have so long sat on the 
 throne of Spain, yet the nobility of 
 this country are less acquainted wiih 
 the French language, than the nobles 
 of any other European nation; they 
 ilifTer from the great of other nations, 
 likewise, in being as supeistitious as 
 the vulgar. 
 
 The style of living of the grandees 
 of Spain, is not calculated lo excite 
 envy in the breasts of those who have 
 a taste for the real enjoyments of life; 
 it is expensive wi;huui being elegant : 
 and l.heir expense cmisists chieHy in 
 an UH-iess number of cuiiiagc;-, mules, 
 and doaiusiicb. 
 
 There is as little appearance of 
 jealousy in Madrid, as in any town 
 of Europe. It were to be wished that 
 the tranquillity which the nobles en- 
 joy on that head, was derived from 
 the consciousness of the chastity of 
 their wives: but the very reverse of 
 this is true, if vve can rely on the 
 account of those who have long re- 
 sided in that city. 
 
 This alteration in the manners of 
 the nobles seems to have had one 
 good effect; namely, that there is 
 hardly any such thing as assassination 
 on account of jealousy. 
 
 Marriage for God's sake. 
 
 " DID you marry your wife for her 
 fortune ■?" said ironically a gentleman 
 to the husband of a rich lady, nith a 
 disagreeable countenance, and a dis- 
 position resembling her face. 
 
 "Certaiidy not," answered he. 
 
 " Was it for the sake of her beauty?'' 
 
 " No ; I cannot say it was," leplied 
 the husband. 
 
 " Did you marry her for the sake 
 of her temper?" 
 
 " Not in the least." 
 
 " In the devil's name, for whose 
 sake dill you marry such a woman?" 
 
 '• I married her for God's sake," an- 
 swered the husband with resianation. 
 
 On a Barrister, who died Insolvent. 
 WITHOUT effects died Nolo Pros : 
 
 How hapijens this ? cries one, and pauses, 
 His palm no fees were knovTii to cross : 
 
 Effects can only spring from causes. 
 
 Kindness. 
 
 A SERVANT after having fired a 
 pistol at some rohbers, who had intro- 
 duced themselves in the house of his 
 master, said, " And so please your 
 honour, whether the villains have got 
 any ^oW, 1 cannot tell, but I am 
 certain they have carried olV a little 
 laid with them; and I heartily wish 
 It wcic twice as much for their sakcs."
 
 Interesting Narratkes, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetrt/, Sc. 237 
 
 Sir IViltinm Staines, Alderman of the 
 Ward of Cripi: 'egate. 
 
 SIR WILLIAM was one anioiisj 
 the niiinetous instances vvliicli the citv 
 of London affords, of persons who 
 liave raised themselves from the verv 
 lowest condition, to tlie highest civic 
 honours. He uas born in 1734-, in 
 Southwark, where his father was ii 
 stone-nrason, in a sniall way of biibi- 
 ness. When very youii:;, he left hi.- 
 parents, probably with a view to bet 
 ler liis fortune ; and, entering oij board 
 of ship, made a voyage to i'oriu^^al 
 On his return, the vessel was taken, 
 and young Staines, with the rest of 
 the crew, became the inmates of a 
 French prison. In this situation he 
 remained six months, when he Mas ex 
 changed, and came home in a cartel ; 
 but so altered, so emaciated, and ho 
 disguised in tatlers, that his own mo- 
 ther could only be persuaded of iiis 
 identity by some particular mark upon 
 bis person, which she insisted on see- 
 ing before she could be convinced. It 
 was probably on his way to London 
 that, being either at Staines or F.qham. 
 the cravings of hunger induced him to 
 enter a chandler's shop, and to call for 
 rather more bread and small beer 
 than the exhausted state of his finances 
 could afford to pay for. The simpli- 
 city of his apology and appearance 
 was such, that his creditor soon forgot 
 the first emotions of disappointment, 
 and dismissed him with a hearty wel- 
 come. This act of forbearance was 
 not forgotten; when he arrived at 
 prosperity, he sought out the donor of 
 this trifiing benefaction in the decline 
 of her days, and rewarded Ijer with 
 an annuity for life On his return 
 from France, young Staines served his 
 time to a stone-nuison in Cannon- 
 street, and afterwards worked a> jour- 
 neyman for Mr. Finder, the city-n.a- 
 son, who had married his sister. — 
 Having married, he took a chandler's 
 shop and coal shed in Philip-laoe, Lcui- 
 
 don-vvall; and on the conclusion of 
 his da\'s labour abroad, he used to 
 carry out coals to his customers, who 
 little iniai^ined that the man who was 
 performing such laborious drudgery 
 was destined to become their lord 
 mayor. In process of time Mr. Staines 
 was able to undertake small concerns 
 in the way of his profession on his 
 own account: and aboutN the year 
 1700, the steeple of Bow church hap- 
 pening to want repair, he conceived 
 tiiat he should be able to execute the 
 job. Biding encouraged by a friend, 
 wiio offered to be bound for the ful- 
 filment of the contract, to apply for 
 it, his proposals were preferred ; and 
 the manner in which he performed 
 this business laid, in his own opinion, 
 the foundation of his future fortune: 
 for which reason, when he became 
 lord mayor, that church was repre- 
 sented in painting in the back-ground 
 of one of the pannels of the state- 
 coach. About this tmie the Scotch 
 pavement being introduced, Mr. 
 Staines was engaged in paving several 
 streets, and afterwards had the good 
 fortune to be appointed mason to the 
 city of London. His wealth and con- 
 sequence now continued to increase, 
 till, in ]79T, he was chosen sheriff, 
 received the honor of knigi-thood, and 
 in 1801 became lord mayor. Bolli 
 these offices he filled with becoming 
 dignity, and the general approbation 
 of his fellow- citizens. For many years 
 before his elevation to these honours. 
 Sir William had a mason's yard and 
 house at Millbank, Westminster ; but 
 liis usual residence vi/as in Barbican, 
 where he built a house contiguous to 
 ihe chapel of the Rev. Mr. Towers. 
 Benevolence seemed to be one of the 
 ruling principles of Sir William's 
 nnnd. About the year j7S6 he began 
 to put in execution the design of 
 erecting some alms-houses. These, 
 nine in number, he built on both sides 
 of Jacob's VVell Passage, near liis own 
 residence, but not in the ancient nian- 
 Ll
 
 258 Ldterary Curiosities^ FpUaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 ner, wli'cif tiie tac- tious Tom Brow .1 
 lias sfyled charity pigeon holes. Tiu 
 alms-liouses of Sir Wiliidin Staines, tin 
 tenants of which are either his own 
 aged workmen, or reduced tradesmen, 
 cannot be distinguished by their e\te 
 rior appearance from other dwelling- 
 houses. No ostentatious inscription 
 in tlie front proclaims the poverty <'f 
 the inhabitants, or the generosity of 
 tiie founder. Another trait of that 
 (lelicacv with which lie distributed his 
 be- efactions w ill not appear super- 
 fluous. He was in the habit of givins 
 soup, Arc. in winter to the poor of his 
 neighbourhood, several years before 
 tiial practice became common; but he 
 made it a rule not to compel those 
 who received it to fetch it from his 
 hoiKse and thus proclaim their poverty; 
 to prevent which he sent iiis ser- 
 vants with his alms to the habitations 
 of those who received them. After 
 tlie victory obtained by Lord Nelson 
 at Copenhagen, which occurred du- 
 ring Sir William's mu)oralty, he sig- 
 nified to the citizens, with character- 
 istic humanity, tiiat it was his particu- 
 lar desire that such |xrsons as intend- 
 ed to expend money in illuminations, 
 would more judiciously add it to the 
 subsiripti m iIkii opened for the be- 
 nefit of the widows and children of 
 tliuse who Ir.id fulltin in that bloody 
 engMgement. This snggestiou, thougli 
 it excited some symptoms ot disph a- 
 sure in the mob, was highly approved 
 of by all the sober part of the citizi ns, 
 and it is scarcely necessary to add, 
 lint on Khis, as on all other occasion*, 
 he did not ftnl to give weight to his 
 precepts hv his example. Soon after 
 his mayoralty, Sir William retired to 
 his count rv residence at Clapliam, 
 where lie |)assed hi*; ctncluding years 
 in the enjoyment of that traiicpiil de- 
 light and sell-sal isfact ion, arising from 
 the rnn<:ci()usness of a useful an<l well- 
 spent life. He died at the age of 
 jtveiity-liiree. 
 
 ■J'he rcnuiins of tltis worthy man 
 
 were, on Saturday, the 17th of Sep- 
 tember, 1 8O7, removed from his house 
 at Clapham, and deposited in his fa- 
 mily vault, in Cripplegate church- 
 \ard Tiie procession set out from 
 Clapham about twelve o'clock, pro- 
 ceeded over L 'ndon Bridge, stopped 
 for a sh"rt time at the iVIansion- 
 house, and arrived at the church at 
 two. There were ten ujourning- 
 coaches, in one of which were the 
 civic sword and mace, acconjianied 
 by the proper officers; in the next 
 were the lord-mayor and recorder of 
 London. In the others weie two al- 
 ilermen, several common-councilmen, 
 and many of the friends of the de- 
 ceased. The mourning coaches were 
 followed by the private carriages of 
 the deceased, the lord-mayor, Ac. 
 At the end of Aldersgate-street the 
 procession was met by the beadles and 
 charity-children of Cripplegate parish, 
 who accompanied the body to the 
 church. 
 
 Epigram. 
 TREASON does never prosper— Whafs the 
 
 rea.son ? 
 Why, when it prospers, uone dare call it 
 
 treason. 
 
 Uiiexpecttd Recommendation. 
 
 ONE dav when lord Thurlow was 
 very busy at his house in Ormond- 
 street, a poor curate applied to him 
 (or a livnig then vacant. " Don't 
 trouble me," said the couns:ellor, turn- 
 iuir upon him with a frowning brow, 
 " don't you see I am busy, and can't 
 lisien to you? — what duke or lord re- 
 conmitnded you?" The poor curate 
 lifted up his eyes, and with dejection 
 Siiid, " he had no lord to recommend 
 him but the Lord of Hosts." " The 
 Lord of Hosts" replied the chancellor, 
 ■'the Lord of Hosts! — I believe I 
 !iave had ieronnnen< ation^ •rom most 
 iords, but do not recolUct one from 
 him before : so <!<> you hear, young 
 nan, you uiall iiave the living."
 
 Interesting Narratives, Efiigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, Sfc. ?j9 
 
 Henri/ IF. and Henrij V. 
 
 Til K ^reat popularity wliicli Heni) 
 eiijovcd !)efoie he attained tlie crown, 
 and vvuicli h»d so much aided him in 
 the iicquisitioh of it, was entirely lost 
 many years before the end ef his 
 reign ; and he governed the people 
 more by terror than affection, more 
 by his own policy than their 'cnse of 
 dut\ and allegiance. When men came 
 to reHect, in cold blood, on the crimes 
 which led him to the throne, antl ihe 
 rebi Uion against his prince; the de- 
 position of a lawful king, the exclu- 
 sion of the true heir, the murder of 
 his s:ivereij;n and near relation; these 
 were such enormities as drew on him 
 the hatred of his subjects, sanctified 
 all the rebellious aj^ainst him, and 
 made tlie executions, though not re- 
 markably severe, which he found ne- 
 cessary for the maintenance of his 
 authority, appear cruel as well as ini- 
 quitous to his people. But it must 
 be owned, that his prudence, vigi- 
 lance, and ioresight in maintaining his 
 powf r, were admirable ; his command 
 of tenjper remarkable ; his courage, 
 both njilitary and political, without 
 blemish: and he possessed many qua- 
 lities, which fitted him for his high 
 station, and which rendered his usurp- 
 ation of it, though pernicious in after- 
 times, ratlier salutary during his own 
 reign to the English nation. 
 
 Henry IV. died in 1413, aged 43. 
 
 HENRY V. possessed many emi- 
 nent virtues. His abilities appeared 
 equally in tlie cabinet and in the field: 
 tiie boldness of his enterprises was no 
 less remarkable than his personal va- 
 lour in condiictjiig them. He had the 
 talent of ititachiug his friends by affa- 
 bility, and gainiiig his enemies by ad- 
 dress and clemency. 
 
 Tile e\teri<>r figure of this great 
 prince, as well as his deportment, w.is 
 engaging. His stature v\as somewhat 
 above the middle size; his f( untenance 
 beautiful; his limbs genteel and slen- 
 
 d( r, but fidl of vigour; and he ex- 
 celled in all warlike and ir.^nly exer- 
 cises. He died the 31st of AuijUf.t. 
 142?, in the thirty-fourth year < f his 
 age, and in the tenth of iiis reign. 
 
 A Last Request. 
 
 AN Irish jihysician, when on his 
 death- be(', was visited by a neighbour, 
 who, with Kind and friendly solici- 
 tude, asked him if there was any 
 thing he wished to be done after his 
 death, in which he could obliije him 
 — adding, "Indeed, indeed doctor, 
 I wid pay a sacred attention to yonr 
 request." — ^Wliy then (replied the 
 other) let me entreat you to be parti- 
 cularly kind to your three youngest 
 children, for they are all mine." 
 
 A Lesson. 
 
 A FRIEND of dean Swift one 
 day sent him a turbot as a present, 
 by a servant who had frequently been 
 on similar errands, but had never jet 
 received the most trifling mark of the 
 dean's generosity. Havmg gained ad- 
 mission, he opened the door «f the 
 study, and abruptly putting doun the 
 fish, cried very rudely, " "Master has 
 sent you a turbot." " Heyday ! vnmg 
 man," said the dean, rising from his 
 easy chair; " is that the way you de- 
 liver your message ? Let me teach you 
 better manners; sit down in my chair, 
 we will change situations, and 1 will 
 show you how to behave in future." 
 The boy sat down, and the dean, 
 going to the door, came up to the 
 table, with a respectful pace, and 
 makmg a low bow, said, •' Sir, my 
 n:uster presents his kind compliments, 
 hopes your reverence is well, and beg.s 
 your accej.tance of a turbot.' — " Does 
 he?" replied the boy; "here, John, 
 (riuginii) tale this honest lad down 
 to tiie kitchen, ant! give !iiin as much 
 as he can eat and drink; then send 
 him up to mc, and 1 will give him half 
 a crown " 
 L 12
 
 LiieraTTj Curiosities, Epitaphs^ fVonderful Ev&Mi 
 
 Town and Country. 
 
 IN London I never know what to be af, 
 EnrapUn'd with this, and transported with 
 
 that; 
 I'm wild with the sweets of variety's plan, 
 And life seems a blessing too happy for man. 
 
 But the country, Lord bless us, sets all mat- 
 ters right, 
 
 So calm and composing from morning till 
 night ; 
 
 Oh ! it settles the stomach when nothing is 
 seen, 
 
 But an ass on a common, a gooseon a green. 
 
 In London how easy we visit and meet. 
 Gay pleasure's the theme, and sweet smiles 
 
 are our treat ; 
 Our mornings, a round of good-humour'd 
 
 delight. 
 And we rattle in comfort and pleasure all 
 
 night. 
 
 In the country how pleasant our visits to 
 
 make, 
 Through ten miles of mud for formality's 
 
 sake ; 
 With the coachman in drink, and the moon 
 
 in a fog, 
 And no thought in our heads but a ditch or 
 
 a bog 
 
 In London, if folks ill together be put, 
 A bore may be roasted, a quiz may be cut ; 
 In the country, your friends would feel an- 
 gry and sore, 
 Call an old maid a quiz, or a parson a bore- 
 
 In the country, you're nail'd like a pale in 
 
 your park. 
 To some stick of a neighbour cramm'd into 
 
 the ark ; 
 Or if you are sick, or in fits tumble down, 
 You reach death, ere the doctor can reach 
 
 you from town. 
 
 1 've heard that how love in a cottage is sweet, 
 "When two hearts in one link of soft sympathy 
 
 meet; 
 I know nothing of that, for alas ! I'm a 
 
 swain. 
 Who require (and I own it) more links to 
 
 my chain. 
 
 Your jays and your magpies may chatter on 
 trees. 
 
 And whisper soft nonsense in groves if they 
 please ; 
 
 But a house is much more to my mind than 
 a tree, 
 
 And for groves,— Oh ! a fine grove of chim- 
 neys for me. 
 
 In the evening you're screw 'd to your 
 
 chairs iif^t to fist. 
 All stupidly yawning at sixpenny whist, 
 
 And though win or lose, it's as true as it's 
 
 strange. 
 You've nothing to pay — the good folks have 
 
 no change. 
 
 But for f^ingiag snd piping, your time io 
 
 engage. 
 You have cock and hen bnlfinches coop'd 
 
 in a cage ; 
 And what music in nature can make you so 
 
 feel, 
 Asa pig in a gate stuck, or knife-griftder's 
 
 wheel ? 
 
 I grant, if in fishing yon take much de- 
 light, 
 
 In a punt you may shiver from moraing 
 till night, 
 
 And though blest with the patience that Job 
 had of old, 
 
 The devil a thing will you catch but a cold. 
 
 Yet it's charming to hear, just from board- 
 ing-school come, 
 
 A hoyden tune up an old family strum ; 
 
 She'll play " God save the King," with an 
 excellent tone, 
 
 With the sweet variation of " Old Bobbing 
 Joan." 
 
 But what though your appetite's in a weak 
 
 state? 
 A pound at a time they will put on your 
 
 plate; 
 It's true, as to health you've no cause to 
 
 complain. 
 For they'll drink it, God bless 'em again 
 
 and again. 
 
 Then in town let me live, and in town lot 
 
 me die. 
 For in truth I can't relish the country not T, 
 If I must have a villa, in London to dwell. 
 Oh ! give me the sweet shady side of Pali- 
 Mall. 
 
 Mtre Wantonness. 
 
 A GENTLEMAN meeting a very 
 young and beautiful girl in the Punip- 
 Roora at Bath, asked her why she 
 drank the waters 1 " From mere wan- 
 tonness," Sir, replied slie. " And 
 pray Madam," said lie gravely, " have 
 they cured you ]" 
 
 Epitaph in Cirencester Church- Yard. 
 
 OUR bodies are like Shoes, which off we 
 
 cast; 
 Physic their Cobbleb is, and death tbeip 
 
 Last.
 
 Inleresting Narrathes, Enigmas^ Epigrams, Poetrj/, Sec. 261 
 
 T/ie Widow's Exchange. 
 
 A YOUNG lady having lately bu- 
 ried her husband, whom she called 
 Old ^imon, ordered a carver to niak;- 
 her a statue of wf>od as near h.is fisjure 
 as nos>ible, whlrh was laid by her 
 side every ni^Jit in rc/.^endirance of 
 bitn 1 the mean time a young gen- 
 tleman, that had a preat passion for 
 her, bv the intercession of some gui- 
 neas pri'v.iiied with her maid to l;iy h'm 
 on- iii'j;ht i) the place of Old Simon. 
 TliC widow went to bed, and after her 
 usual manner, oast her arnts over her 
 dear husband' statue; and fin 'insj it 
 warm, she crept closer and clever to 
 it, till at leiijjth they came very close 
 together, by which she perceived il 
 was not her wooden bedfellow. In 
 the morning the maid jailed at her 
 chamber door, as she used to do, 
 Ivlada'm, what will you ))lease to have 
 for dinner 1 she replied, roast the tur- 
 key that was brought in yesterday, 
 boil a leg of mutton and cauliflower-*, 
 and get a good disli of fruit. Madam, 
 says the maid, we have not wood 
 enough to dress so much meat. If 
 not, replied she, you may burn Old 
 Simon, 
 
 Pardon asked for Abuse. 
 
 WHEREAS J. Benj.amin Birch, 
 Of Baston Town (and near the Chnrch,) 
 At Stamford Market, o'er the bowl, 
 Gotdrnnk, and 'bus'd my neighbour Cole: 
 For which he bath, to my vexation. 
 By law compeli'dlhis declaration — 
 That 1, without jn?t cause or reason, 
 Ulade use of words as base as treason. 
 And therefore do his pardon ask, — 
 A most unpleasant, painful task; 
 But as 1 own I was to blame, 
 Why, dang it, then I'll sign my name. 
 
 BENJAMIN BIRCH. 
 
 j^n ungallant Wish. 
 
 DIOGENES the philosopher per- 
 ceiving one day some women hanged 
 on a olive-tree, would to God, cried 
 he, all cthei' trees bore the like/itiit. 
 
 Lines sent to a young Gentleman, with a 
 Bunch of Flowers. 
 
 " CO?JE tell me ! whether yon admire, 
 
 '• Tfapse chariniafT ^ow'rs so gay ; 
 " And whic!) of tl'.em you'd most desire, 
 
 " The Rose, or Tulips, pray?" 
 " Your Roses, Ma'aai," the beau replied, 
 
 " Are charming to my eyes ; 
 " But then" — (poor Amorosa sigh'd !) 
 
 " Your Two Lips most I prize!" 
 
 TJialcs the Milesian, 
 
 \VAS one of the wise men oi Greece, 
 bei; g asked what was the oldest thins;? 
 b.e answered, God, because he has 
 ever been : what was the handsomest 
 thing? he said, iheivorld, because it 
 is the work of God : what the largest 
 thing? space ; because it compre- 
 hends every thing btsides : what the 
 most lading? hope; because when all 
 other ihincs fail, that still renrains: 
 what the best thing? virtue; for 
 without it, nothing that is good can 
 be said or done : what the quickest? 
 a mans thoughts ; because in one mo- 
 ment they run over all the universe: 
 what the strongest? vecessity : be- 
 cause it surmounts all other accidents: 
 what the easiest? to give counsel: 
 wliat the hardest ? to know ones-self: 
 what Ihe wisest thing? time; because 
 it brings all things to pass. 
 
 A Lady icroteupon a tVindow some Verses, 
 intimating her Design of never marrying; 
 under which, a Gentleman wrote the fol- 
 lowing Lines: 
 
 THE Lady who this Resolution took. 
 Wrote it on Glass, because it should be broke. 
 
 A good-enough sort of Man, 
 
 IS of a cold, tame, civil, cautious 
 disposition, and has balanced so ex- 
 actly, through the whole of his life, 
 that he has never obliged or disobliged 
 any one. He has neither friend or 
 foe in the ivoi Id : but were he to break 
 his neck to-night, no human creature 
 would feel either sorrow «r satisfac- 
 tion at the cvcnt»
 
 Sd^ SJlerary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Anecdote of S/iuter. 
 
 SHUTER beinu eit^aged for a few 
 nights, in a principal city in the nor*h 
 of England, it happened that the 
 stage in which he went down (and in 
 which there was only an old geullc- 
 niaii and himself,) was stopped on the 
 other side of Finchley CoMunoii by a 
 single highwayman, 'i ''e old gentle- 
 man, in order 1o save, his own jno'iey, 
 pretended to be as ccp; lut Shntei 
 resolved \o be ever with him. Ac- 
 cordingly, when tiie Iiighv,ayni3n pre- 
 sented his pistol, a ,d commanded 
 Shuter to "deliver his Kioney instiuit- 
 ly, or he was a (lead niiin," — " Mo- 
 ney!" relumed he, with an idiotic 
 shrug, and a countenance inexpressi- 
 bly vacant, " Lord, sir, they never 
 trusts me with any ; for nuncle here 
 always pays for Pie, turnpikes and all, 
 your honour." Uj^on which the Iiigh- 
 \va\nian gave him a few hearty curves 
 for his stupidity, comj^limented the 
 old gentleman with a smait slaj) on 
 the face to awaken him, and robbed 
 him of every shilling he had in his 
 poc!;et: while Shuter, vvho did not 
 lose a single farthing, with great satis- 
 faction and merriment pursued liis 
 journey. 
 
 Epitaph on a Cricketer. 
 
 I boirVd, T xtritck. I cavghf, I stopt, 
 Siipp lil'e's a jrame of cricltel, 
 
 1 hlock'd wilhciirp, with caution popp'd, 
 Yel death lias bit my wicket. 
 
 Ecclesiastic Squnhhte. 
 A VICAR and curate of a village, 
 where there wa? to be a burial, were 
 at variance. The vicar not coming in 
 lime, ihe curate began the service, and 
 was reading the word-. " 1 am the re- 
 surrection," when the vicar arrived 
 almost out of breath; and, Mvatching 
 the book out of the curate's hand, 
 with great scorn, cri<'d, " You the re- 
 surrection! / am the rcsujiection," 
 aud then went on. 
 
 Tile a o^tr lost. 
 
 A BAKE>. wa- •>-'as(ing that he sel- 
 dom ' r ever bo»ssi;ht any n.cat for his 
 family or. a Sunday, a.^ he gene rtily 
 louKi take sr<ricient from his u« gii- 
 'juurs' joints that caire tt* be baiicd, 
 withoiitih ir missiiii^ it; and d'^c'.ired, 
 that he €«:• Id take oft" a rib of beef 
 '.vithof.t :jcin!> discovered. Mr Wick, 
 who Si!>o.l by, betted him one shil- 
 ling's vorth of punch that he couid 
 not. Tile wager being accepted, the 
 lallow-chandkr agreed to send him a 
 joint the next day to be baked, and 
 accordingly sent two ribs of beef, 
 weiuiiing ten pounds. The baker, 
 without any hesitation, took one rib, 
 and sent the other home. The tal- 
 low-chandler, as soon as he had dined, 
 ran to the baker, sa\ing, " You have 
 lost, for 1 sent two ribs of beef, and 
 you returned but osie." The baker 
 replied, " Well, I confess 1 have lost," 
 and readily paid the shilling; which 
 he could well afford to do, as he had 
 five pounds of meat and a share of 
 thepuneh for his shilling. 
 
 Tlie Jewess and her Son. 
 
 POOR Mistress Levi tiad a luclile.«9 son, 
 
 Wtio, milling to obtain llie foremost seat, 
 
 In imitation of tli' atJibitioufi great, 
 IliRti from tlie gall'ry, ere ttie play begun, 
 
 He fell all plump into the pit, 
 
 Dead in a minute »•• a nil : 
 In short, lie broke his pretty Hebrew necli ; 
 Indeed, and very dreadful Nva*i the wreck ! 
 
 The mother was distracted, raving, wild. 
 Shriek 'd, tore her hair, embrac'd, and kiss'd 
 her child — 
 
 Aflticted every heart vvith grief around: 
 Soon as tlie shower of tears was somewhat 
 
 pHss'd, 
 And mod«'r,itely calm th' hysteric blast, 
 
 ^he cast about her eyes in thought pro- 
 found ; 
 And being with a saving knowledge bless'd, 
 i^he thus the play-bonse Manager address'd, 
 
 " ^her, I'm the Aloter of the poor thew 
 Lad, 
 
 ♦" Dat u'cei mish fait in here so bad ; 
 
 " Shcr I muss haf de shillin bdck, you 
 know, 
 
 '•' Ass Aioses haf not see de show."
 
 Interesting Narratkes, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetnj, Sfc. 263 
 
 Duels, and Method of Prevention. 
 
 IT seems surprising to many people 
 that no means have been tound toi 
 putting an end to duels. 
 
 The absurdity of the custom, has 
 been illustrated a thousand way-;, 
 without eticct. 
 
 " You have injuted me. sir, and 
 therefore 1 insist ii|)()ii vour takinii a:i 
 equal chance of putiiiio hk- to doalh." 
 
 Or, — " You have givi-ii me the lie, 
 sir. I could easily piove, iiideei!, 
 that 1 spoke truth ; but as that i^ 
 nothing to the purpose, I will not 
 take the trouble: but what 1 do insist 
 upon is, that you shall, by way of 
 reparation, do your utmost to shoot 
 me through the head." — What can be 
 more absuid than all this? Nothing. 
 l>ut its not quite a fair statement of 
 the case. The following seems nearer 
 the tuith : 
 
 " Sir, you have insulted me in sucli 
 a manner, as will make the world 
 think meanly of me, if I do not re- 
 sent it. If I have recourse to the 
 laws of ray country, the world will 
 think in the same manner of me. 
 'J houi;h I may despise bntli you and 
 the insult, I cannot regulate the opi- 
 nions of the world ; but 1 will shew 
 that I do not value life so much as I 
 dread disgrace : and I will give this 
 proof at your risk, who have put me 
 under the necessity." 
 
 No severity of law can prevent 
 those from challenging their insulier, 
 to whom the shame of bearing an in- 
 sult, appears more dreadful than the 
 utmost vengeance of law. Accordingly 
 the severest laws have not suppressed 
 the practice of duelling. 
 
 But if a court were instituted for 
 the express purpose of investigating 
 the circumstance which give rise to 
 every duel, with power to punish him 
 who from wantonness, pride, or ma- 
 lignity, had ts the conviction of the 
 court, behaved in such a manner as 
 •would justify a gentleman for having 
 recourse to the only means in his 
 
 power, to eftacc the atTront, perhaps 
 such an il^^titulion would have a more 
 powerful eiiVct in preventiiiJ duels, 
 tli;in attaching the punishment to the 
 ohallenger, or survjvor, who possibly 
 m;iy be the least guilty. 
 
 If such an institu'ion did not en- 
 tiiely abolish the practice of duellin'j. 
 It would surely render it less frequent. 
 
 It would also lender men more 
 cautious of givirig uOence, and would 
 bring to public noloru-tv and shame, 
 all those pests of society who «re 
 continually involved in quarrels, 
 whether from an overbearing spiiic 
 to insu'.t others, i^r from a childish 
 iispositioa io lake ofl'ence without 
 cause. 
 
 Epitaph at Gunwallovo, near llelstone. 
 
 .Shall We All Die 
 
 \Vk .^hall DiB All 
 
 All Dik Shall Wb 
 
 DiiL All We Shall 
 
 Chance Amatevr, 
 
 A GENTLEMAN who had no 
 taste for the fine arts, was asked by a 
 limner in distress, whom he accident- 
 ally met, to allow him to paint his 
 portrait, orihat of any of his friends 
 for a moderate sum. The gentleinau 
 look the painter home in his carriage, 
 saying, that, "as for his own face it 
 was not worth painting, but he should 
 like to have the portrait of a worthy 
 friend of his, who he feared was in a 
 declining way." — That friend was aa 
 old Welch pony, who had carried him 
 up and down the mountains of Wales 
 for above a dozen years ; and who, 
 he asserted, had done htm more es- 
 sential services than any friend he had. 
 The portiait of the horse was painted 
 accordingly: it was thought so like, 
 that the ariisi received double the 
 sum bargaitied for. The amateur 
 hung it up in his parlour, and never 
 looked at it afer the death of the 
 original, without a si«h, and a short 
 naneovric on his excellent tiualities.
 
 S61e LUerary CuriosUies^ Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events, 
 
 No Admisaion. 
 
 THE, late Sir Thomas Robinson, 
 whose company tniijht o;enerallv hnv> 
 been dispensed with, freqiuntly call- 
 ing at the house of a geiirleman high 
 ill oHice, where he was considered a- 
 a disagreeable visitor, and not choos- 
 ing to take the hint of " My mast< i 
 and mistress are out," &c. would often 
 get admission by the following |)re- 
 tences, and then wait until the person 
 he wished to see made his appeiirance. 
 "O! not at home! — well, I'll ju^t 
 step in and chat with the children," 
 or — " I'il hiive a talk with the parrot," 
 or — " I'll just take the opportunity or 
 setting njy watch by the great clock 
 on the staircase." One morning, how- 
 ever, the servant was prepared, and 
 seeing him from the window advanci/ g 
 towards the h.ouse, opened the door 
 at the moment he knocked, and keep- 
 ing it nearly closed, said, in a louder 
 tone than ordinary, "Oh, sir! my 
 ''master and mistress are both out — the 
 children are all asleep — the parrot is 
 dead — and the clock stands." 
 
 On a Clergyman. 
 
 LONDON bred me Westminster fed me 
 Caraf)r!ilg;e 8ped me My sister wed me 
 
 .study lauglil me living sought me 
 
 learning bo!!ghLme Kendall caught me 
 
 Labour pressed me Fickaess distressed me 
 
 Death oppress' d m , The grave posse ^s'd me 
 
 Godfirsl y;!ve me Ciirist did save ma 
 Eat !Ij did crave ms & Keaveii wotilci liaveme. 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 A CHYiMIST dedicated a book to 
 Leo the tenth, wherein he boabted 
 tiiiit he hud found out the art of mak- 
 ing gi>id. He pleased hiniseif witli 
 the hope of receiving a magniticent 
 present in return: but the Pope sent 
 l)im a large empty purse, ^^nd bid the 
 b;aier tell him, that as he had learnt 
 the art of making gold, he wanted 
 i.nlbiiig but a place wiiertin to deposit 
 his titiisuie. 
 
 A persuasive Sermon. 
 
 WHEN the duke of Ormond, 
 whose fandiy name was But'er, went 
 over as lord iieutenant of Ireland, the 
 vessel was driver, by sliess of weather 
 into tlie isle of Man. where his Grace 
 was hospitaliy entertained by the cu- 
 rate of the place, nvined Joseph. The 
 jdeasantness nf his landlord, induced 
 the duke to inquire into his circum- 
 stances, atid finding that they were 
 but scanty, he promised to provide 
 for him as soi n as he should he set- 
 lied in the vircrovship. Joseph waited 
 •naitv months in hopes of heaiin.' from 
 his [latron, but being disappointed, 
 he resolved to -io over to Dublin, to 
 remind him of his prorai-e. Despair- 
 ing of gaining access to the duke, he 
 wailed upon Dean Swift, and asked 
 liis permission to preach at the cathe- 
 dral the next Sunday. The dean, de- 
 lightetl with his conversation, gave his 
 C4)nsent. The lord heulenant with 
 his court were all at church, and sat 
 opposite to the pulpit. None of them 
 had any recollection of Joseph, till 
 after naming his text, which was in 
 Genesis, c. xl v. 23, " Yet did not 
 the ciiief Butler remember Joseph, 
 but forgot him." He made so pointed 
 an allusion to the duke, and his en- 
 ter! ainment in the Isle of Man, that 
 his features were recognised, and when 
 the sermon was done, he was invited 
 to the castle, and a good li\ing pro- 
 vided for him. 
 
 Variety of Pies. 
 
 SWIFT in travelling called at an 
 hospitable house. The lady of the 
 mansion, rejoiced to have so distin- 
 guished a guest, with great eagerness 
 and fhppniicy asks him whafhewill 
 have for tlinner? " Will you have a.T 
 apple-pie, sir? will you have a goose- 
 berry-pie, sir? will you have a cherry- 
 pie, sir? will you have a currant-pie, 
 sir? will you have a plum-pie, sir? 
 will you have a pigeon-pie, sir?" — > 
 "Any pie, madam, but a mag-pie!"
 
 Interestins: Nnrralkes, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, 8<;c. 266 
 
 Irom the English Censor. 
 MV last p?iper terminated with a 
 very appropriate panegyric on the 
 modern mania of walkini^ and run- 
 ning, together with a feasible hint re- 
 spectin-r hopping, stepping, jumping, 
 &c. which I sincerely trust will be at- 
 tended to witii all tiiat due regard to 
 which a subject so truly serious is tn- 
 titled. Now having commenced wilh 
 offering the meed of praise on those 
 pursuits which must tend to render 
 my fellow citizens more athletic, 1 
 cannot do better in the present in 
 stance, than offer a few remarks op 
 the scientific art cf pugilism, an art, 
 which has to boast its origin with the 
 Greeks and Romans; an art which 
 levels all mental acquirements, and 
 renders well stored noddles of no uti- 
 lity whatsoever; a science in short, 
 that would affiigiit my lord chancellor 
 and the bench of bishops, were they 
 to come in contact with its knock me 
 doivn eloquence. And by the bye, 
 liavina touched upon the terrors which 
 would be its attendant in the uj)per 
 Louse; that circumstance brings to 
 my mind the speech of one of our 
 senators in the Commons, who very 
 wisely opposed a stupid bill tlien 
 pending in parliament, for that most 
 venerable syort denominatedhull-hait- 
 ing, in support of which amusement, 
 after descanting at large on the British 
 character, he very sagely observed, 
 *• that if such national delights as 
 hull-baitivg, boxing, i^'c. were done 
 away with, farewell at once to the 
 hull-dog spirit of we Englishmen; it 
 is true Mr. Sheridan, with his usual 
 degree of ill-natured sarcasm, retort- 
 ed, by stating, that he believed his 
 honourable friend must be correct, as 
 the bull-fights in Spain had conduced 
 to render the people of that country 
 so much our superiors by sea; yet 
 notwithstanding this invidious shaft, 
 1 am sure, Mr. Censor, that you will 
 cordially agree with rae in opinion, 
 
 that these games are most requisite 
 to the support of British valour, which 
 would receive a death blow, if abo- 
 lished in this country. But now to 
 the main point of my paper, which 
 was intended to support the adherents 
 of such men as the Game Cock, the 
 Game Chicken, Belcher, Mendoza, dec. 
 heroes that well deserve the unani- 
 mous plaudits of their fellow-citizens, 
 and whose names and renowned 
 actions should grace a pillar of brass, 
 true emblem of their own impenetra- 
 ble skulls. With what emotions of 
 real delight do we not see accounts iu 
 the papers of stubborn pugilistic con- 
 tests, where a fellow, for instance, 
 after having an eye scooped out, a 
 nose driven in, and being regaled with 
 such an entertainment as the swallow- 
 ing of seven of liis own grinders, will 
 nevertheless most manfully support 
 the drubbing, and, by very fortu- 
 nately giving his adversary a direct 
 blow on the temple, send him to sup 
 with his worthy progenitors, and thus 
 terminate the affair; his own corporeal 
 losses, as above mentioned, being no 
 more than glorious insignias of his 
 victory. These are your fellows truly 
 deserving the support of our nobility 
 and gentry, and thanks to the House 
 of Lords, since it most assuredly does 
 
 produce such men as Earl B , 
 
 Lord C — — , 6<ic. who would rather 
 mortgage the last acre of land in sup- 
 port of a Gully, than give a guinea 
 to rescue such a whining fellow as 
 Billy Shakspeare, or Johnny Dryden, 
 from the jaws of famine. In short, 
 Mr. Censor, I am for your cart-horse 
 breed among men; for instance, such 
 noble fellows as will consume sevea 
 pounds of solids at a sitting, with five 
 quarts of porter, by way of cleansing 
 all avenues to the stomach ; don't talk 
 lo me of your Chesterjield men, that 
 have fists no bigger than walnuts, and 
 legs no thicker than tobacco pipes; 
 nothing delights nie so much as to 
 be welcomed by the grasp of a hand 
 M m
 
 266 Lilerary Curiosities, Epitaphs, JVonderful Events, 
 
 as big as a shoulder of mutton, 
 with sinews and joints proportionably 
 strong, — a hearty squeeze from which 
 brings tears into your eyes, by making 
 you imagine that every bone in your 
 hand has undergone the operation of 
 pressing in a mill, and reduced your 
 hand to a mere mummy. I was some 
 time since in the West of England, 
 ^vhen it was my great good luck to be 
 present at a Cornish hugging match ; 
 and such a scene it was, I do assure 
 you, as will never escape my recol- 
 lection. You must know, I had very 
 frequently heard of the hug; practised 
 by the gentlemen of tliat county; but 
 as to hugging, in the common accep- 
 tation of the word, why the embra- 
 cings of cV bear would be but child's 
 play to the friendly |>ressures bestowed 
 by Cornish men upon one another; 
 added to which they take especial 
 good care to be neatly fitted with a 
 pair of shoes, whose soles are at least 
 two inches thick, and crammed full 
 with hob nails; with which delicate 
 appendages to the feet, they, with ail 
 the grace and atjility of a Parisot, 
 bestow upon each other's shins, the 
 tokf ns of their brotherly love, until i 
 tl'.cy l>econie a sanguinary mass of 
 jriiied flesh, from below the knee 
 down to the instep; these friendly 
 grtelings, however, are the nsere at- 
 tendants «)n hugging, whose grand art 
 consists in squee?,iiig the breath out 
 of a fellow's body, and then dashing 
 him with all the violence possible, 
 cither on his sconce or the prtijecting 
 elbow, in order that the same, by 
 coniii;;: thus forcibly in contact with 
 the iiround, may produce the happy 
 ctTerl of breaking the arm in two 
 pl.v.s. 
 
 But t!i!8 is not all, tliore is an exer- 
 cise yet far moie {.-raccfu!, and that is 
 the noble }>!ay of inrstlivg, from 
 whi( it, indfpendaiit of putting ancles 
 and knees out of joint, tiie slioulders 
 are frequently disloccftd, and tlse ribs 
 broken, which ini<;lil airaost lead me 
 
 to think that there is some deficiency 
 in the formation of the human struc- 
 ture ; as from such games as these it 
 should seem that men ought to have 
 been constructed with limbs out of 
 joint, broken bones, &c. and intleed 
 if wc come to judge the matter seri-, 
 ousl), where could be the grand dif- 
 ference, if his majesty had not a single 
 whole man in his dominions; it is only 
 custom, that teaches us the diflercnce 
 of an upright and crooked man, and 
 if valour could be instilled into all 
 Englishmen by this mode, I must cer- 
 tainly think that the king would be a 
 gainer by the novel system; as for my 
 own part, you may perceive, Sir, that 
 I love writing for the henefit of my 
 fellow-citizens, and therefore shotdd 
 not exactly wish anything serious to 
 occur to n»y right baud; but as to the 
 left, or my right or left leg, I care 
 no niore for tlum, than I do for my 
 maid's besom, and shall very willingly 
 enlist myself one of the votaries ; if 
 this address should be seconded by 
 any respectable number of scientilac 
 slaughtrr men. ^ ct, independent of 
 corporeal strength, which may be 
 thus benefited, it is truly inconceiv- 
 able what an eftect these exercises 
 produce on the mental economy; all 
 those snivelling womanish ideas, called 
 Jijie findings, such as benevolence, re- 
 -pect for old ago, tenderness towards 
 the brute creKtion, with a string of 
 >uch ridiculous absurdities, are ail to- 
 tally expelled by your lovers of box- 
 I iiig, wrestling, and bull and -cock 
 I fighting ; as it is their glory to render 
 the heart as callous as the head, to 
 every thing uncounecled Avith their 
 own enjoy nieits, Bat to li.e proof, 
 Mr. Censor: Who would not glory in 
 the fecliiigs of the OKce famous l)Jr. 
 Ardesoif, of rork-Jighirng n:emory; 
 who, having betted upon his favourite 
 ijird to a very larjje amount, the ani- 
 mal nnforlunately lost the battle, 
 when its owner, as a \^iy just pvnistt- 
 nienf, took it home, jud lilcruily
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas^ Epi2;rams, Poetry^ tS'C. 267 
 
 roasted it dice. Or, v/hat say you, 
 Sir, Jo a Chelsea buJcher, whose dog 
 having, al a bull-baithig pinned the 
 animal by the nose, tije fellow, in 
 order to prove his buU-dog staunch 
 to the back bone, went up with his 
 knife and severed the animal's four 
 legs at their respective joints, which 
 operation the creature sustained with- 
 out once loosening its hold on the 
 bull : to these, Sir, as being a constant 
 saunterer, and observer of men and 
 manners, I could add more proofs of 
 a similar nature, which have come 
 under my cognizance ; but as I sup- 
 pose the two foregoing facts are in 
 themselves sufficient to make every 
 sensible reader coincide with me in 
 opinion, as to the real necessity of 
 these invigorating pursuits being fol- 
 lowed up with the utnmst avidity, J 
 shall for the present take my leave, 
 under the firm conviction that nothing 
 can so much tend to bring us back to 
 the bsrbarons state of our ancestors, 
 as the full toleration and strict ad 
 lierence to all tiie sports above men- 
 tioned ; and in the hope that there 
 will not be, ere long, one individual 
 who has not to boast of at least three 
 broken bones in his skin. 
 
 Satiricus. 
 
 Epigram. 
 
 AS Tool was one day in deep chat with a 
 
 friend, 
 He gravely advised bim his moraJs to mend 
 That his morals were bad, he ha.l heard it 
 
 from many, 
 " They're mistaken," said Tom, " For I 
 
 never had any." 
 
 On Going to Church, 
 SOME so to Church just for a walk, 
 .Some go tliere to laugh and talk. 
 Some go tliere for speriilalioii. 
 Some go there for observadou. 
 Foiiie wo there to meet a lover ; 
 .•"onie the piiiss there oft discover, 
 ^■'ome golhere to meet a tViead, 
 Some y» there the time to impend. 
 .'So.^^e go to iiiarii (iio I'arson's name, 
 Some go (here to wosi'id his famn. 
 Many gothfi-e to do.-s and nod ; 
 But lew go there to worship God. 
 
 ^'Appropriate Sermon . 
 
 FOUR gendeinen and an old minis- 
 ter riding aiong the road met three 
 highwaymen, who dismounted and 
 plundered tliem ; the old niinister beg- 
 ged very hard to have a little money, 
 as he was going to pay a bill in Lon- 
 don, so they being generous fellows 
 gave him ail his money back again, on 
 condition that he preached a sermon to 
 them ; so taking them a little oft" the 
 high-road, he complied, saying: 
 Gentlemen, 
 
 YOU are the most like the old 
 apostles of any men in the world, for 
 they were wanderers upon the earth, 
 and so are you. They had neither 
 lands nor ttinements that they could 
 call I heir own, neither as I presume 
 have you. They were despised of all 
 but those of their own professiori, and 
 so I believe are you. They were un- 
 alterably lixeil in the principles they 
 professed, and I dare say so are you. 
 They were often hurried into gaols 
 and prisons, were persecuted by the 
 people, and endured great hardships, 
 ail of which sufferings I [iresume have 
 been undergone by you. Their pro- 
 fessions brought them to untimely 
 deaths, and if jou continue in your 
 course, so will your's bring you. But 
 in this point, beloved, you differ wide- 
 ly ; for the apostles ascended from the 
 tree to heaven, where I am afraid you 
 will never come: but as their deaths 
 were compensated with eternal glory, 
 your's will be rewarded with eternal 
 shame and misery, unless you mend 
 your manners. 
 
 The Way of the World. 
 DETERMINED beiore-hand we gravely 
 
 pretend 
 To ask tiie opinion and thoughts of a friend ; 
 Should his differ from our's on any pretence, 
 We pity his want both of judgment and 
 
 sense ; 
 But if he fall.i into, and Clatters our plan, 
 Why really we think him a sensible man. 
 
 On the Collar of the Fr jwee'* Dog. 
 I AM bis Highness' dog at Kevv ; 
 Pray tell me, Sir, whose dog are yoai 
 M m 2
 
 268 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events^ 
 
 Lodgings for Single Gentlemen. 
 
 WHO has e'er been ia London, that over- 
 grown place, 
 
 Has seen " Lodgings to Let" stare bini full 
 in the face; 
 
 Some are good, and let dearly ; while some, 
 '(is well known, 
 
 Are so dear, and so bad, they are best left 
 alone. 
 
 Will Waddle, whose temper was studious, 
 
 and louely, 
 Hired lodgings that took Single Gentlemen, 
 
 only ; 
 But Will was so fat, lie appeared like a ton, 
 Or like two Single Gentlemen roll'd into 
 
 One. 
 
 He entered his rooms ; and to bed he re- 
 treated, 
 But, alUhe night long, he felt fever'd and 
 
 heated ; 
 And, though heavy to weigh, as a score of 
 
 fat sheep, 
 He. was not, by any means, heavy to sleep- 
 Next nighl 'twas the same ; — and the next ; 
 
 and the next. 
 He per8pired like an ox; he was nervous 
 
 and vex'd ; 
 Week pass'd after week ; till by weekly 
 
 successioii, 
 His weakly condition was past all expres- 
 sion. 
 
 In six months, his acquaintance began 
 
 nmcii to donbt him, 
 For his skin, "like a lady's loose gown hung 
 
 ahouthim ;" 
 He sent for a doctor, and cried like a ninny, 
 " I've lost many pounds, — make me well — 
 
 there's a guinea." 
 
 Tha Doctor look'd wise, — " a slow fever," 
 
 he said. 
 Prescribed sudorificks, — and jjfoing to bed ; 
 " Sudorificks in bed," exclaimed Will, 
 
 " are humbugs," 
 " I've enough of them there without paying 
 
 for drugs." 
 
 Will kick'd ont the Doctor, — but when ill 
 
 indeed, 
 E'en dismissing the Doctor don't always 
 
 succeed ; 
 So calling his host, — he said, — Sir, do you 
 
 know, 
 " I'm the fat Single Gentleman, six months 
 
 ago?" 
 
 " Look'e, Landlord, I think," argued Will, 
 
 with a grin, 
 " That v»i(h honest intentions you first took 
 me in ; 
 
 " But from the first night—and to say it I'm 
 
 bold, 
 " I've been so d — ni'd hot, that I'm sure I 
 
 caught cold " 
 
 Qcoth the Landlord, till now, I ne'er had 
 
 a dispute, 
 I've let lodgings ten years, I'm a baker ta 
 
 boot ; 
 In airing your sheets, Sir, my wife is no 
 
 sloven. 
 And your bed is immediately over my Oven. 
 
 " The Oven ! " says Will — says the host, 
 
 why this passion ? 
 " In that excellent bed died three people of 
 
 fashion ; 
 Why so crusty, good Sir?" "Zounds!" 
 
 cries Will in a taking. 
 "Who would not be crusty with half a 
 
 ytar's baking?" 
 
 Will paid for his rooms, cried the host, with 
 
 a sneer, 
 '' Well, I see you've been going away half 
 
 a year," 
 " Friend, we can't well agree" — " yet no. 
 
 quarrel" — Will said, 
 " For one man may die where another make* 
 
 bread " 
 
 A Wager Decided. 
 
 SUCH little chance I'd always found. 
 Of gaining Betsey for my wife, 
 
 That I had wager'd Dick a Pound, 
 I should not win her all my life. 
 
 But, thanks to Heav'n ' my anxious care 
 Is all remov'd, — (he knot is ty'd — 
 
 And Bet.-ey, fairest of the fair, 
 
 Consents at length to be my bride. 
 
 To Dick, then, as in honor bound, 
 Wellpleas'd, I'll hold myself in debt; 
 
 Thus, by the oddest luck, 'tis found, 
 I lose my Wager — win my Bet! 
 
 The Amusements of Young Men. 
 
 GAMING, talking, swearing, drinking 
 Hunting, shooting, never thinking; 
 Chattering nonsense all d-ty long. 
 Humming half :in opera song; 
 Choosing baubles, rings, and jewels. 
 Writing verses, fighting duels ; 
 MlMcing words in conversation, 
 Ridiculing all tlie nation ; 
 Admiring (heir own pretty faces. 
 As if possessed of all (he graces; 
 And, tho' no bi-ger than a rat. 
 Peeping under each girl's hat.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetri/^ 8^c. 269 
 
 From a Yotni"; Gtntlemnn in Town, 
 to his Friend in the Couutrtj. 
 
 Dear Tom, 
 
 YOU know I promised you a line 
 as soon as possible; and now ! am as 
 good as my word. I got to town only 
 last night, and had a very hearty wel- 
 come from my uncle; he's a fine old 
 Grecian, Torn, biit iiow I shal! ijet a 
 fortnight over liim, the Lord knows. 
 
 We got np this morning, and break- 
 fasted very comfortably. About 
 twelve o'clock, "J^ck," says he, "I'll 
 take a walk with you, to look about 
 us a little:" on which lie took up his 
 stick, and I took down my !)at. As 
 we passed by a Inoker's shop 'not f;'i 
 from the Strand, we saw the man 
 admiring a iarae old-fashioned e.bow 
 chair he had vampt up, and set or.t for 
 sale. My uncle unguardedly says to 
 him, "That's a migh-y clumsy chair 
 friend." The fellow eyeing him fronj 
 head to foot, retorts, '» Not so clun - 
 sy as your nose." TJnincKiiy for m\ 
 uncle, tliere was not a part about him 
 would so ill bear touching as his no?e, 
 it being inflamed and swelled with 
 three or four large carbuncles, so that 
 it looked like a dog star on a very dark 
 evening ; you may think, therefore, 
 this speech hit him too hard. " You 
 rascal," says he, " what business have 
 you with my nose ?" " And what busi- 
 ness have you," answers the fellow, 
 " with my chair 1" "Sirrah," says my 
 uncle, *• your chair is set for sale, and 
 every man has liberty to give l.is opi- 
 nion as he pleases." " And God 
 Ahnighly," says the fellow, "set such 
 a queer nose upon your fice for every 
 body to laugh at if they please." At 
 thai my uncle'.s patience could hold no 
 longer; but, spitting in his hand, aiul 
 grasping his oaken towel, had certain- 
 ly sp.lit the fellow's skull, had I not 
 caught hold of his arm, and by n;ain 
 force dragged him away ; However, 
 he kept looking back, walking side- 
 ways like a crab, and multerin;^ to 
 
 himself, " A rascal! a villain! a dog!" 
 v.hen Hii'uckily a boy coming from the 
 baker's with a dimier for a family, as 
 hungry no doubt as himself, was in 
 full run to get his teeth set to work as 
 last as possible ; but, oh iamenlable ! 
 turning short a corner, he came so 
 plump a<:?iinst my uncle, whose eyes 
 were still tixed on the fellow, instead 
 of iniiiding his own wav, that his coat 
 was saUited with n piece of smoking 
 hot beef, and his waistcoat and 
 breeches received all the fat and gravy 
 and part of the pudiUng. This uu- 
 e:;pected blow coming before his 
 blood had the least time to cool, rais- 
 ed such a storm in hia pericranium, 
 that had Hogarth been so lucky as to 
 have seen the figure, it must liav? 
 been an estate to liini — You would 
 have sworn he was not only going to 
 engage with all the world, but even 
 with the devil hiinself; he seemed as 
 tall as the house he stood by; his 
 cheeks were pufied up to an amazing 
 size, and his eyes Hashed fire from 
 every corner, which increased every 
 time he cast thorn on his gravy ficd 
 waistcoat and pudding breeches, for 
 his breeches had the largest share of 
 the pudding by far; in short, he cut 
 so dreadful a tigure, that, instead of 
 making a ring round him, as is usual 
 when any thing extraordinary is to be 
 seen in the streets, the foot passengers 
 very quietly crossed uvtr the way ; but 
 then indeed they could not help taking 
 a peep both at him and the oth.er ac- 
 tors in this farce ; for, besides my 
 uncle in this attitude I have described, 
 there was myself cutting no very con- 
 temptible figure, staring at hiui ; there 
 was the poor boy, with his fingers 
 locked in his hair, strafcliir.^ for in- 
 telligence whether he should cry, or 
 tdke to his heels and run aw«y ; there 
 was the piece of beef tumbled upon 
 a tinman's !-hop door; there was the 
 remainder of the j)udding, that did 
 not chuse to stay upon my uncle's 
 breeches, lying scattered along with
 
 ^70 lAteran/ Curiosities, Epilaplis^ Wonderful Etents, 
 
 tlie pieces of the broken platter, upon 
 twenty different parts of the pave- 
 ment ; there was a do^; lurning round 
 and roaring, because he had burnt 
 iiis teeth by striking ihein rashly into 
 the hot beef. 
 
 I am yours, &c. J. F. 
 
 Raising the Dccih 
 
 A MOUNTEBANK once, as "lis said, at a 
 
 fair, 
 To malie the wise gentry vvtio crowded it 
 
 stare, 
 Prntesfed, in spile of the church's decree, 
 Ttiat wtioever cbose it, tbe devil should ?ee. 
 So uacomraon a f^iyhl, wiio would ever 
 
 forego? 
 Tbedevil seem''u in them, they all scrambled 
 
 so, 
 Wiien with month very wide, an old purse 
 
 very long 
 Was lield out by tbis sorcerer, and shook to 
 
 tbe throng. 
 Cood p; nple ! he crieJ, pray your eyes now 
 
 unfold, 
 And say, if within any thing you behold 
 When one, who stood nearest, replied with 
 
 some gait, 
 What is there to see, where there's nothing 
 
 at all ? 
 Then, ah! Uis the devil, the wag said, I 
 
 swear, 
 To open one's purse, and to see nathing 
 
 there. 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 A rOOUSU idle fellow at Flo- 
 rence, hearing that a physici.ni had 
 obtained great credit and weaitli by 
 the sale of some pi!!s, undertook to 
 make pills himself, and to sell them. 
 He administered the same pills to all 
 periions whatever; and as by chance 
 they sometimes succeeded, bis name 
 became famous. A countryman called 
 on him, and desired to know if ins 
 pills would enable him to find an ass 
 lie had lately h^si. The quack bade 
 him swallow six jmIIs. In his way 
 lirnie, the operation of the pills 
 obli;;ed hiin to retire into a wood, 
 where he found his ass. The clown 
 .^preaii a rej)ort that lie knew a doctor 
 who sold pills that would recovcj 
 strayed callle. 
 
 Pecpins; Tom of Coventry. 
 
 ABOUT the year 1057, the city of 
 CoN'entry groaned under very heavy 
 taxes and duties, which they paid, 
 Leofrick, Duke of Mercia. Lady 
 Goitiva, his wife, taking pity on them, 
 and seeing to what poverty they were 
 reduced by these burdensome ta.\a- 
 tions, desired iier husband to remit 
 them, which he would by no means 
 consent to, the Coventry taxes being 
 one of the best branches of his reve- 
 tme; but the countess still pressing 
 him, he thought to silence her at once, 
 by assuring btr he never would do it 
 unless she would undertake to ride 
 naked from one end of the town to the 
 other, well knowing tiie strict virtue 
 of his wife, believed her modesty 
 would never permit her to think of 
 such a thing; but she having a fine 
 head of hair, combed it round her, 
 that only a small part of her was left 
 naked. She commanded that the win- 
 dows and doors of every house should 
 be shut whilst she was riding through 
 the town, and that nobody should pre- 
 sume to look out under pain of death, 
 j A poor taylor, who would be peeping, 
 1 was struck blind; in commemoration 
 j of which, bis iigure there, called the 
 ; j«?cper, is put in the same window to 
 this day, and tbe Lady Godiva is once 
 a year carried in procession through 
 I every street in Coventry. 
 
 Epigram. 
 
 IN all fhy humours, whether grave or 
 
 mellow. 
 Thou'rt such a touchy, testy, pleasant fel- 
 low ; 
 Hast so much wit, and mirth, aud spleen, 
 
 about thee, 
 There is no living with thee, nor wilbout 
 
 thee. 
 
 Bon-Mot of Quin. 
 
 IN a summer, when the nionth of 
 Jtily was extremely wet i^iiti cold, 
 Sfiine pt-rvon a^Kcd Qiiin whether he 
 ev« r remcnib' red such a sun;nier. 
 "Yes," replied 1 he wa{j, very scriotiy- 
 ly, "last winter."
 
 Interesting Narrathes, Enigmas, Epigrams^ Poetry, S(C. 271; 
 
 French and Enj^lish Theatrical 
 Audience. 
 
 CONSIDERING the natural gaiety 
 and volatility of the French nation, 
 one may be surprised at their fv>ndnej>s 
 for tragedy, especially as tiicir tra- 
 pedics are barren of incident, full ol 
 long dialoj^ncs, and declamatory 
 speeches; and modelled according to 
 tijc strictest code of critical legislation. 
 Tho most uprightly and fashionable 
 people of both sexes, flock to these 
 cntertainmcr.ts, in preference to all 
 other?, and listen uilh unrclaxed 
 gravity and attention. One would 
 imagine that such a serious, correct, 
 and uniform amusement, would Ic 
 more connonial with the phlegm and 
 saturnine dispositions of the Englibh, 
 than with the gay, volatile temper of 
 the French. 
 
 An English audience love show, 
 bustle, and incident in their tragedies; 
 and have a mortal aversion to long 
 dialogues and speecbe?, however fine 
 the sentimcnis, and however beautiful 
 the language may be. 
 
 In this, it would seem, that the 
 two nations have changed characters. 
 Perhaps it would be difficult to ac- 
 count for it in a satisfactory manner. 
 I shall not attempt it. A Frenchman 
 would cut the matter short, by saying 
 that the Paris audience has a more 
 correct and just taste than that oi 
 London ; that the one could be 
 amused and delighted with poetry and 
 seniiment, while the other could not 
 be kept awake without bustle, guard, 
 procession, trumpets, fightins. and 
 nuuder, {Mooriana. 
 
 A ToucLslone for the Times. 
 
 MIDAS (we read) \Tith v.ond'rous art of 
 
 old, 
 WhaleVr hp touched, at once transform'd 
 
 tojjold ; 
 Thif, modern statesmen can reverse with 
 
 ease, 
 Tsuch cii-m with 5014, they'll tui-atowhat 
 
 Absolution and extreme Unction. 
 A NEGRO slave, having allowed 
 symptoms of compassion, perhaps ot 
 indignation, to csc.npe from him, on 
 hearing one of his brother-slaves or- 
 dered to be punished unjustly, his 
 tyrannical master, in a transpoit ot 
 rage, ordered him to be lashed se- 
 verely, and renewed the punishment, 
 at legal intervals so often, thai ihe 
 poor man was ihiovvn into a hingnish- 
 ing diseai-e, which confined him con- 
 stantly to his bed. 
 
 All Iiish soldier, who had beea 
 long acquainted with the n^gro, and 
 had a particular esteem f(ir him, as 
 soon as he heard of his dangarou* 
 situation, hastened to see him, carried 
 him wine and other refreshments, and 
 continued to visit and comfort him 
 during his languishing illness. Per- 
 ceiving at last, that there was no 
 hope of his recovery, he thought the 
 last and best good office he could do 
 him, was to carry a priest, to give 
 him absolution and extreme utiction. 
 
 Soldier. I should be very sorry, 
 father, if this poor fellow missed 
 going to heaven; for by J — s, I do 
 not believe there is a worthier soul 
 there, be the other whom he pleases* 
 
 Priest. He is a black. 
 
 Soldier. His soul is whiter than a 
 skinned potatoe. 
 
 Priest. Do you know vvhetber he 
 believes in all the tenets of our holy 
 faith. 
 
 Soldier. He is a man who was 
 always ready to do as he would be 
 done by. 
 
 Priest. That is something; but 
 not the most ' essential. Are you 
 certain that he is a Christian? 
 
 Soldier. I'll be hanged if he is not as 
 pretty a Cjiristian as }our heart can 
 desiie; and Ell give yni a proof that 
 will rejoice your soul to hear. — A 
 Soldier of our regiment, was seized 
 with the cramp in his le», when he 
 was bathing; so -he hollowed for as- 
 sistance, Jvnd then went plump to tbe
 
 272 Literary CuriosHies^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 bottom, like a stone. Those whc 
 were rijear liim, Ciiiistians and all 
 swam away as fast as llieir legs coulii 
 carry tiicm, I'nr ihcy were afraid ot 
 his catching hold of them. But ihar 
 honest negro, pushed diteclly to the 
 place wh.^.re ihe siddier had sjunk, 
 dived after him, and without more 
 ado, or so much as saying by your 
 leave, seized him by the hair of his 
 head, and hau'ed him ashore, where, 
 after a little rubbing and rolling, he 
 was quite recovered, aiid is alive imd 
 merry, at this blessed moment. Now 
 my dear father, I think this was be- 
 having like a good Christian, and wjiat 
 is moie, like a brave Irishman too. 
 
 Priest, lias he been prf)perly in- 
 sttufted in all the doctrines ot the 
 catholic church ? 
 
 Soldier. 'J'hat he has : for I wns 
 after instructing him myself yester- 
 day; and as you had nold me very 
 ©ffen, that believing was the great 
 point, I pressed that home. '* By 
 J — **," says 1, "it does not {•ignif} 
 making wry facef, but you must be- 
 lieve my dear hone}', as fast as ever 
 you can, for you have no time to 
 lose;" and, poor fellow, he entreated 
 me to say no more about it, and he 
 vir)uld believe whatever 1 pleased. 
 
 Tliis satistied the father. They 
 arrived at the dying man's cal)iii. 
 Now, my dear fellow, said the soldier, 
 1 have brought you a holy man tq 
 give yf)u absolution for ^our sins, and 
 to shew your soul the road to heaven ; 
 take this glass of wine to comfort you, 
 for it is a long journey. 
 
 The piiest then began to perform 
 liis office. — Haimo heard him silentl}'. 
 
 Soldier. You see, my good father, 
 he believes in all you say. You may 
 row, without any further delay, give 
 liiin absolution and cxtiemr unction, 
 and every thing t^redfu] to secure him 
 a snug birth in Paradise. 
 
 Priest. You ar-e fully rnnvinrcd, 
 friend, tliat it is only l-.y jr firm I"'lief 
 in all the tenets of the holy catholic 
 •church that — — - 
 
 Soldier, God love your soul, my 
 dear father, give him absolution in 
 thti fust place, and convince him 
 afterwards: for upon my conscience, 
 if you f)Other him much longer, the 
 poor creature's soul will slip through 
 your fingers. 
 
 The priest, who was a good-natured 
 man. did as the soldier requested. 
 
 Soldier, Now, my honest fellow, 
 you may bid the devil defiance, 
 for \ou are as sure of heaven, as your 
 master is of hell; where, as this re- 
 verend father will assure )ou, he 
 must suffer to all eternity. 
 
 " I hope he will not suffer so long," 
 '•aid the negro in a faint voice; and 
 speaking for the first tim.e, sitice the 
 arrival of the priest 
 
 " Have a care of what you say, 
 friend," said the priest, in a severe 
 tone of voice ; •' you must not doubt 
 of the eternity of hell torments. — If 
 your master goes once there, he must 
 remain there for ever." 
 
 "Then, I'll be bound for him," 
 said the soldier, " he is sure enough 
 of going there." 
 
 "But I hope in God, he will not 
 remain for ever," said the negro, and 
 expired. 
 
 " That was not spoken like a true 
 believer," said the priest; "if I had 
 thought that he harboured any doubts 
 on such an essential article, I should 
 not have given him absolution." 
 
 " It is lucky, then," said the sol- 
 di(;r, " that the poor fellow made his 
 escape to heaven, before you knew 
 any thing of the matter." 
 
 As the soldier returned home, from 
 the negro's cabin, he met his master, 
 who knpwing where he had been, 
 said to him, " how is the scoundrel 1" 
 
 '■ The scoundrel is in better health 
 than all who knew him could wish," 
 replied the soldier. 
 
 *• ^Vhy they told me he was dying !" 
 
 "Me is already dead, and on liis 
 way to heaven" said the soldier; "but 
 as for the scoundrel who murdered 
 him he'll be d — d before he gets there."
 
 Interestbig Narmttres, Enigmas, Ejjigrams, Poetry, ^'c. 273 
 
 The diverling l^istory of John Gilpin. 
 
 A LIDJCROIS POEM. 
 
 JOHN GIT. PIN '.vas a citizen, 
 
 Of credit and renown; 
 Atrain-band captain eke was he, 
 
 Of famous 1 ondon town. 
 
 John Gilpin's spouse said to her dear, 
 
 Tho'itj-h wedded we liave been , 
 These twice fen tedious yiars, yet we. 
 
 No holiday have seen. 
 
 To-morrow is our wedrtlnij-day, 
 
 And we vvili then repair; 
 Unto the Bell at Edmonton, 
 
 All in a ciiaise and pair. 
 
 My sister Hiid my sister's child, 
 
 Myself aii'l children three; 
 Will fill the chaise, so you must ride. 
 
 On horseback after we. 
 
 He soon replied, I do admire, 
 
 Of womankind but one; 
 And you are she, my dearest dear. 
 
 Therefore it shall be done. 
 
 I am a linen-draper bold, 
 
 As all the world doth know ; 
 And ray good friend the caleudrer, 
 
 Will lend his horse to go. 
 
 Quoth Mistress Gilpin, That's well said. 
 
 And, for that win^ is dear ; 
 We will be fnrnish'd with our own, • 
 
 Which is both bright and clear. 
 
 John Gilpin kiss'd his loving wife, 
 
 O'er joy 'd was he to find ; 
 That, though on pleasure she was bent. 
 
 She had a frugal mind. 
 
 The morning came, thechaise was brought, 
 
 But yet was not allow'd; 
 To drive up to the door, lest all. 
 
 Should say that she was proud. 
 
 So three doors off the chaise was stay'd. 
 
 Where they did all get in; 
 Six precious souls, and all agog, 
 
 To dash through thick and thin. 
 
 Smack went the whip, round went the 
 wheels, 
 
 Were ever folk so glad ; 
 The stones did rattle underneath. 
 
 As if Cheapside were mad. 
 
 John Gilpin at his horse's side, 
 
 Seiz'd fast the flowing mane ; 
 And up he got in haste to ride. 
 
 But soon came down again. 
 
 For saddle-tree scarce reach'd had he. 
 
 His journey to begin ; 
 When, turning round his head, he saw 
 
 Three customers come iu. 
 
 So down became, for loss of time, 
 
 AKlibuj^h itgriev'd him sore; 
 Yet loss of pence, full well he knew. 
 
 Would trouble him much more. 
 
 'Twas long before the customers. 
 
 Were suited to their mind ; 
 When Betty screaniing came downstairs, 
 
 " The wine is left behind !" 
 
 Good lack ! quoth he — yet bring it ma, 
 
 My leathern belt likewise; 
 In which I bear my trusty sword. 
 
 When I do exercise. 
 
 Now Mistress Gilpin, careful soul ! 
 
 Had two stone bottles found ; 
 '"o hold the liquor that she lov'd, 
 And keep it safe and sound. 
 
 Flaf-h bottle had a curling ear, 
 Through which the belt he drew 
 
 And huni^ a bottle on each side. 
 To make his balance true. 
 
 Then over all, that he might be, 
 Equipp'd from top to toe ; 
 is iung red cloak, well brush'd and neat 
 He maafuliy did throw. 
 
 Now see him mounted once again, 
 
 Upon his nimble steed ; 
 Full slowly pacing o'er the stones, 
 
 With caution and good heed. 
 
 But finding soon a smoother road, 
 
 Beneath his well-shod feet ; 
 The snorting beast began to trot. 
 
 Which gall'd him in his seat. 
 
 So, fair and softly, John he cried, 
 
 Bnt John \w tried iu vain ; 
 That, trot became a gallop soon, , 
 
 In spite of curb or rein. 
 
 So stooping down, as needs be mast, 
 
 Who cannot sit upright ; 
 He grasp'd the mane with both his bands, 
 
 And eke with all his might. 
 
 His horse, who never in that sort, 
 
 Hnd handled been before; 
 What thing upon his back had got, 
 
 Did wonder more and more. 
 
 Away went Gilpin, neck or nought, 
 
 Away went hat and wig; 
 He little dream't, when he sat out, 
 
 Of running such a rig. 
 
 The wind did blow, th? cloak did fly, 
 
 Like streamer long and gay ; 
 Till, loop and button failing both. 
 
 At last it flew away. 
 
 i'hen might all people well discern, 
 
 The bottles he bad slung ; 
 A bottle swinging at each side, * 
 
 As hath been said or sung, 
 
 N n
 
 274 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 The dogs did bark, the children scream'd, 
 
 Up fiew the windovrs all ; 
 Andev'ry goal criedout, Welldonej 
 
 As loud as he could hawl. 
 
 Away went Gilpin — whp but he, 
 
 His fame soon spread aroisnd — 
 He carries weis:ht ! he rides a race ! 
 
 'Tis for a thousand pound. 
 
 And sf ill as fast as he drew near, 
 
 'Twas wonderful to view; 
 How in a trice the turnpike men. 
 
 Their gates wide open flew. 
 
 And now as he went bowing down, 
 
 His reeking head full low ; 
 The bottles twain behind his back, 
 
 Were ihatter'd at a blow. 
 
 Down ran the wine into the road. 
 
 Most piteous to be seen; 
 Vi'hich made his horse'i flanks to smoke. 
 
 As they had basted been. 
 
 But still he seem'd to carry weight. 
 
 With leathern girdle brac'd : 
 For all might see the bottle-neck, 
 
 Still dangling at his waiiit. 
 
 Thus all through merry Islington, 
 
 These gambols did he play ; 
 And till he came unto the Wash, 
 
 Of Edmonton so gay. 
 
 And there he threw the wash about. 
 
 On both sidesof the way ; 
 Just like unto a trundling mop, 
 
 Or a wild goose at play. 
 
 4l Kdmonton his loving wife, 
 
 From balcony espied ; 
 Htr tender Iiusband, wond'ring much, 
 
 To see how he did ride. 
 
 Stop, sfop, John Gilpin ! here's the house, 
 
 Tliey all at o;ic.^ did cry ; 
 Thedinne." waits, and we are tir'd, 
 
 Jsaid Gilpio — •'O am I. 
 
 But yet h;8ho;'se wa-s not a whit, 
 
 InclifiM to tarry there; 
 For why ? his owner had a house, 
 
 Full tea miles oti' at Ware. 
 
 So like an arrow swift he flew, 
 
 t^hot by ail archer strong; 
 So 'lid lie fly — wliicli brings me io. 
 
 The middle of my song. 
 
 Away went Gilpin, out of breath. 
 
 And sore against his vvill ; 
 Till at his frieui's the calendrer'g, 
 
 His horse at last stood still. 
 
 The calendrer, ama7,'d to see. 
 
 His iieighiiour in sueli trim ; 
 laid down his pipe, flew to the gate. 
 
 And thus accosted him. 
 
 What news ! what news ! yonr tidings tell, 
 
 Tell me you must and shall; 
 Say why bare-headed you ar« come. 
 
 Or why you come at all? 
 
 Now Gilpin had a pleasant wit, 
 
 And lov'd a timely joke y 
 And thus unto the calendrer, 
 
 In merry guise he spoke. 
 
 I came because yonr horse would come, 
 
 And, if 1 well forebode; 
 My hat and wig will soon be here. 
 
 They are upon the road. 
 
 The calendrer, right glad to find. 
 
 His friend in merry pin ; 
 Return'd him not a single word. 
 
 But to the house went in. 
 
 Whence straight he came with baf aad viigj 
 
 A wig that fiow'd behind ; 
 A hat not much the worse for wear, 
 
 Each comely in its kind. 
 
 He held them np, and in his tnrn. 
 
 Thus shevv'd his ready wit ; 
 My head is twice as big as your's. 
 
 They therefore needs must flt. 
 
 But let me scrape the dirt away. 
 
 That hangs upon your face ; 
 And stop and eat, for well you may^ 
 
 Be in a hungry case. 
 
 Said John, It is my wedding-day, 
 And all the world would stare ; 
 
 If wife should dine at Edmonton, 
 And I should dine at Ware. 
 
 So turning to his horse he said, 
 
 I am in haste to dine ; 
 'Twas for yonr pleasure you came here, 
 
 You shall go back for mine. 
 
 Ah luckless speech, and bootless boasl! 
 
 For which he paid full dear; 
 For while he spake a braying ass, 
 
 Did sing most loud and clear. 
 
 Whereat his horse did snort, as be. 
 
 Had heard a lion roar : 
 And gallop'd ofl" with all his might, 
 
 As he had done before. 
 
 .\way went Gilpin, and away, 
 
 Went Gilpin's hat and wig ; 
 He lost them sooner than at first. 
 
 For why ? they were too big. 
 
 Now Mistress Gilpin, when '^he»aw, 
 
 Her husband posting down ; 
 Into the country f.ir away, 
 
 She pull'd out half-a -crown. 
 
 And thus unto the youth she said. 
 
 That drove them to the Bell ; 
 This shall be your's when you bring back. 
 
 My husband safe and well.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, 8fc. 275 
 
 Thr youth did ride, and soon did meet, 
 
 John corning bark amain; 
 Wheal in a (rice he fried to stop, 
 
 By catching at bis rein. 
 
 Bat not performingf %That he meant, 
 And giadly would have done ; 
 
 The frigiiled steed he frighted mure, 
 And made him faster run. 
 
 Away went Gilpin, and away, 
 
 M'ent post-boy at his heels; 
 Thepost-bD\'s horse right glad to miss. 
 
 The lumb'ring of the wheels. 
 
 Six srentlemen upon the road. 
 
 Thus seeing Gilpin fly ; 
 With post boy scanip'rini; in the rear. 
 
 They raised the hue and cry. 
 
 Stop thief ! stopthief! —a highwayman! 
 
 Not one of them was mute ; 
 And all and each that pass'd that way. 
 
 Did Join in the pursuit. 
 
 And now (he turnpike gates again, 
 
 Flew open in short space; 
 The lo'l-men thinking as before, 
 
 That Gilpin rode a race. 
 
 And so he did, and won it too, 
 
 For he got first to town ; 
 Kor stopp'd till where he first got up. 
 
 He did again get down. 
 
 Now let us sing, Long live the King, 
 
 And Gilpin, long live he; 
 And when he next doih ride abroad, 
 
 May I be there to sea ! 
 
 Scarce Articles in a Repullic. 
 
 GEORGE the First of EuahiiiH, 
 Jiavin^ frequently experienced the ra- 
 pacity of tlie Dutch at Helvoetsluys, 
 was, in one of his journeys, delerniiii- 
 ecl to avoid it by nol stopping tliere. 
 It was a tine summer's day ; and wliile 
 the servants were changiiii,' the liorses, 
 and stowing liis bajzijase in the coach, 
 he stopped at the door of the princi- 
 pal im, and asked for three frtsh 
 egos; which having oaten, he inqnin.d 
 wl at he had lo pay for theni. ♦' Two 
 h.nnifed florins," was tlie reply; 
 "IIuw!" crii.d the astoiushed nnm- 
 aiih, "why so? eggs arc not scarce 
 at fielvoetsluys." — " No," replied the 
 liinilioKi, '= uul kin^jsare." 
 
 Death and Character of Henry Vl- 
 
 HENRY the Sixth was found dead 
 in the 'lower, in which he had been 
 confined since the restoration of Ed- 
 ward. The greater part of historians 
 iiave alleged that he was assassinated 
 by the dnke of Gloucester; while 
 some moderns affirm tliat he died of 
 grief and vexation. Henry was of a 
 hale constitution, but just turned of 
 fifty, n-itiiraily insensible to affliction, 
 and harkneyed in the vicissitudes of 
 fortune ; so that we should not expect 
 hini to havedie<l of age and infirmity, 
 or that his life would have been af- 
 fected by grief arising from his last 
 disaster. The suddeiniess of his death 
 was suspicious, as weil as the conjunc- 
 ture at which he died, it being inniie- 
 dialelv after the suppression of a re- 
 bellion, which seemed to declare that 
 Edward woidd never be quiet while 
 the head of the house of Lancaster 
 remained alive; and the suspicion of 
 his dying a violent death is confirmed 
 by the characters of the reigning king 
 and his brother Richard, who were 
 bloody, barbarous and unrelenting. 
 
 Very different was the disposition 
 of the ill-fated Henry, who without 
 any other princely virtue or qualifi- 
 cation, was totally free from cruelty 
 and revenge: on the contrary, he 
 could not, without reluctance, consent 
 to tlie punishment of those malefac- 
 tors who were sacrificed to Ihe public 
 safety; and frequently sustained in- 
 dignities of the grossest nature, with- 
 out discoverir.g the least mark of re- 
 sentment. He founded ihe colleges 
 of Eton and Windsor, and King's 
 College at Cambridge. 
 
 On the morning that succeeded his 
 
 death, his body was exposed at St. 
 
 Paul's churcli, in order to prevent 
 
 unfavourable conjectures; and next 
 
 day sent by wat^r to the abbey of 
 
 Chertsey, where lie was interred .-'but 
 
 ' it was aflerwani removed, bv order 
 
 [ of Pvichard Hi. to Windsor, and tiiere 
 
 I buried with gieat funeral solemnity. 
 
 N n 2
 
 276 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful E rents, 
 
 A i.omical Inciaent. 
 
 AT the time of tlie dreadful piiigue 
 in London, in (665, in tlie niidsi of 
 the cahniitoiis scene winch was then 
 exhibited, an incident liappened of 
 the comic kind. A bag-piper, v\ho 
 happened to be excessively overcome 
 with liquor, fell down in ihe street, 
 and there lay asleep. In this coi.di- 
 fion, he was found early the next 
 morning; and being supposed to be 
 a person who had died of the plague, 
 was accordingly taken up, and Ihrown 
 into a cart, and carried awav amongst 
 some deaJ bodies. At last the honest 
 piper awaked out of his sleep ; and it 
 being about day break, and he bein^; 
 musically disposed, not knowing his 
 situation, began very briskly to play 
 tip V! lune: uhich so surprised the 
 fellows that drove the cart, who could 
 see nothing distinctly, thai tiny be- 
 took themselves to their heels in a 
 great fright, and swore they had taken 
 up tiie devil in the disguise of a dead 
 man. 
 
 Droll Mistake. 
 
 A COUNTRYMAN being In Lon- 
 don, a friend o( his there undertook 
 to conduct him to every place thnt 
 was remarkable, and deserved ob- 
 servation. One day he told him that 
 he would shew him Bedlam: it was 
 accordingiy a'.'reed u|)or.; but instead 
 of that, he carried him to the door of 
 the House of Common?, telling him 
 that It was the entrance into Bedlam. 
 It hippeued just then that the house 
 was breaking up; and the door being 
 presently opened, the countryman, to 
 his great amazement, saw several of 
 the members hasting towards it. — 
 Upon this he immediately took to his 
 hods, and ran as it were for liis litl ; 
 when being stopped by some persons, 
 who wondered at his running so fast, 
 " Oh !" cries he, " for the Lord's sake 
 don't stop me; yonder's Bedlam open, 
 jiMi! all the jnadmen are loose and 
 conjini; out." 
 
 A Fact. 
 
 A LONDON rider, at Exeter, left 
 his dog in the stable, by his horse; 
 !he )ard-dog took ofi'eiice at him, and 
 beat him ; upon w hich the former 
 log set out for London, and brought 
 ilown anolher dog of hisacquaintunce 
 to revenge his cause. 
 
 Dumb MotioJis. 
 
 IN Italy, a lover, at a bal), places 
 two lingers on Jiis mouth, which sig- 
 siifies to a lady, " You are very hand- 
 some, and I wish to speak to you." 
 If she touches her cheek witji her fan, 
 and lets it gently drop, that signifies 
 " I consent." But if she turns her 
 hand, it is to order him to be off. 
 At a ball in Paris, to lake a lady out 
 to dance with her, is only indiffereiice. 
 To place yourself near her, is interest; 
 but to follow her with your eves in the 
 dance, and tomake her sitine by your 
 anxiety, is love. 
 
 Ihe Ministerial Ten Commandments. 
 
 Thou shalt not read ! 
 
 Thou shalt not know what o'clock 
 it is! 
 
 Thou shalt notputpowdernpon thy 
 pale ! 
 
 Thou shalt not look through thy 
 window upon the sun! 
 
 Tnou shalt not ride to tak»' the air! 
 
 Thou shalt not yoke Dobbin to thy 
 plongli ! 
 
 Thou shalt not cherish thy faithful 
 dog ! 
 
 Thou shalt not associate with thy 
 neighbours! 
 
 Thou shalt not murmur ! 
 
 Thou shalt put a red coat upon thy 
 back, to defend and enforce these, and 
 many others, my Just commandments. 
 
 To these we may add an eleventh: — 
 Thou shalt worship no other JNJinister 
 but me — for I am a jealous Minister, 
 and visit Xhe sins of the fathers upon 
 the children, even unto the Jijiieth 
 , generation.
 
 Inferesthff Narratives, Entpnas, ITpigratns, Poetnj, ^c. 277 
 
 A laudable ftiitance of Avarice. 
 
 A FRRNCH priest, whose name 
 vas Gadinch, went for a u nj, time by 
 the Urime of Griper. He refuse({ to 
 relit've the most apparent wretched- 
 ness, cMid bv the skilful niaiiagenient 
 of hi vinesani, had flie s:;ood fortune 
 to a- piire injiiieiise sums of money. 
 The inhabitants of llheimes, who 
 were his fellow-citizens, detested him : 
 and file populacf, who seldom love a 
 mist r, received liini witli coiileinp' 
 ivheiTvpf he went He still, however, 
 continued his former simpiirity of lifV 
 — his amazing and unremitted fruga- 
 lity. This pood man had Ion? experi- 
 enced the wants of the poor in the 
 city ; particularly, in having no water, 
 but what they were obliged to buy at 
 an advanced price; wherefore that 
 whole fortune which he hid been 
 amassinji, ie laid out in an acpjeducf, 
 by which he did th. poor more useful 
 and lasting service, than if he had 
 distributed his whole income in chari- 
 ty every day at his door. 
 
 Marning Chronicle, 9th Jan. 17S8. 
 
 Crooked Horns. 
 
 Mrs. Mary Da vies, when 20 
 years cf age, had an excrescence 
 grow upon her head, res« nibling a 
 wen, which continued thirty years, 
 and then grew into two horns. Her 
 print is to be seen in Dr. Leigh's Na- 
 tural Hist'iry of Lancashire, &c. 
 The inscription signifies that her por- 
 trait was tnken in l6"()S, in the 72d 
 year of her age ; that the excrescence 
 continued thirty years before it j.rew 
 into horns; that after four years she 
 cast theuj, then grew tvvo more, and 
 in about four years she cast fheni also. 
 The lioriis which were upon her head 
 in l60S, were of four years growth, 
 and were then loose. 
 
 Evookes''s Dictionary. 
 
 Hoot and iriranch. 
 
 SARAH, duchess of Marlboreugh, 
 was accustomed to make an annual 
 feast, to which she invited a|: her re- 
 lations. At one of these family-meet- 
 ings she drank their health, adding, 
 " What a glorious si lit it is to s' e such 
 a number of brandies flourishing from 
 one root !" but observing Jack Spen- 
 rei laugh, insisted on knowing what 
 occcisiuned his mirth ; afid promised 
 to forgive i)'m, be i what it would. 
 " Why, then, madanj," said he, " I 
 was thinking how much more all the 
 branrlies would flourish if the root 
 were under ground." 
 
 Powerftd Prencher, 
 
 A CERTAIN reverend drone in 
 the country preaching a very dull 
 sprmon to a congregation not used to 
 him, many of them siunk nut of the 
 church, one after another, Lefore the 
 sermon was nearly ended. "Truly," 
 said a gentleman present, " this learn- 
 ed doctor has made a very moving 
 discourse." 
 
 On seeing a Miner at a Concert. 
 
 MUSIC lias charms to sooth the savage 
 
 breast. 
 To calm the tyrant, and relieve th' opprest, ; 
 But Vanxhall concert's more attractive 
 
 now'r, 
 fTnlocti'd Sirhichard'spocket at threescore; 
 O strange effect of music's malchl*-!! I'orce, 
 T' extract tvvoshiliinj^s from a miser'spurse. 
 
 A Camistical Division. 
 
 THREE L'entlemen beinir to sup at 
 a tavern, one of them widied for 
 partridges: a brace w is biough», and 
 he who had ordered them v\ as request- 
 ed to divide then) ; which he accord- 
 ingly did, by taking one to his own 
 plate, and kaviui; the other for his 
 friends. '* Stop," cried one of ! hem, 
 " this is an unequal division.' --" Not 
 o," replied he, ' there i>onefor^OM 
 two, and one for me too."
 
 278 Literary CuriosUies, Epitaphs, Wonderfid Events, 
 
 Account of an extrnordinnrii large 
 Elephant brougfit from Persia. 
 
 OF a!l the brute creation, there 
 are few of wliich we hear more ex- 
 traordinary things than of the ele- 
 phant; many of wisich seem to argi) 
 this animal to be, as tlie poet expresses 
 it, a half-reas(;ninf; one: .some of lhes< 
 may possibly be false; but there is one 
 conrerniijg an old eiephauf, broui:^! 
 fr<im Persia to Naples, whicli, as it ^ 
 related by sucii a person as the Abh« 
 Nollet, may perh;ips be thought uor 
 ihy of the attention of the curiou> 
 reader. 
 
 This monstrous creature was sent 
 froni Persia. :isa present to the (iiai «; 
 Siunior, anl by liim prtsenf<d to the 
 ki g of the Two Sicilies; it arrivtr 
 at Naples in October, 1740, and di^' 
 in the be:;inn;ng ot the year l/r*^ 
 After describing his shape and sizt 
 lie sins the skin, after being taken oil, 
 weighed . 192 pounds, oi seventy- foin 
 stone and a half, avcirdupoise ueight. 
 He usually went to sleep oo his sidt 
 at sun-set; and, after sleeping three 
 or four liours, awaked to feed: after 
 having fed enough, he went directi) 
 to sleep again, and generally conti- 
 nued to sleep till sun-ii.se. lie ate up 
 every day one Inmdred and ten pounds 
 of ihe dry straw of millet, eleven 
 pounds and a half of new bread, and 
 f(iurteen ounces of sugar mixed with 
 as njany of butter, which was ii. closed 
 in iHO loaves, of one pound each, and 
 which they put whole it>to his mouth; 
 but duriiig the first twenty-one days 
 of April, instead of the dry straw, they 
 gave iiiin daily four or live hundred 
 pounds of green barley. For some 
 time afier his arrival at Naples, they 
 made bin) drink every day about two 
 qui>rts-<)f brandy, for assisting diges- 
 tion, and probably to atoij.c. for^.th.e 
 diiference betwven tbeclihiaie of Na- 
 ples an<i that of Ids mil ive country; 
 l»ut instead (>f the" br.indy, th.ey after- 
 wards substituted two bolusses, the 
 
 size of a nutmeg each, couiposed of 
 thirty-three different sorts of drugs, 
 of such a hot nature, thut one of the 
 bolusses would have killed a man of 
 the strongest constitution ; yet this 
 creature could not bear to be deprived 
 of them, without becoming Tcry un- 
 asy, and losing its rest. 
 
 As to his usual drink, it was other- 
 wi'e nothing but comuion water, of 
 which he drank four hundred quarts 
 per ilay in winter, and in summer he 
 •'€nt as far as nine hundred, which he 
 hank at three difl'erent hours, and 
 •aci) time at five, six, ten, or a dozen 
 iiilereut draughts, by pumping or 
 Hiking up the water w'ith his trunk, 
 • arryiug it to h's mouth, and swallow- 
 I g it at two or three gulps. 
 
 This elephant appeared to be sus- 
 cept ble of every passion: it shewed 
 giatitude and affection to those who 
 liad the care of it, s' emed as if it 
 iii^gged them with its trunk, and was 
 .->o docile as to obey them with the 
 greatest readiness. They observed 
 that he had a fondness ftir a sheeji, fell 
 pretty often into a fit of melancholy, 
 and had an extreme dread of pain, 
 whii h made him take every imaginable 
 precaution against being hurt. 
 
 In the spring of every year he be- 
 gan to rut, or became proud, when it 
 wiis more diliicult to govern him, and 
 lie even neglected his food. He was 
 subject to cholics and distempers in 
 his legs, which his keeper understood, 
 ;;nd cured them in the same way as 
 they do other animals, but with great 
 difficulty, for he was far from beiuij a 
 submissive patient, as they could not 
 make liini lake any ihing he did not 
 incline to. 
 
 What was very singular in an animal 
 of such a |)rodigious size and streugtii, 
 wiiatever state and condition he whs 
 in, he was never heard to utter any 
 sort of sounti or bellowing, only a soit 
 of bhjwing ; yet tliis he modulated in 
 such a manner, that his keepers could 
 judge what he nicant to express.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas^ Epigrams, Poetry, S^c. 279 
 
 Account of the Hotfentots, and the 
 Dutch at the Cape of Good- Hope. 
 
 THE Hottentots are the native in- 
 habitants of the countiy ai'iunil th'. 
 Cape; they are free; they are no 
 robbers; they do not sell their chil 
 dren, nor do thej attempt to enslavi^ 
 each other. Atnons; them adulter} 
 is Dunishcd with death ; the culprit i> 
 stoned. Someoflhetn let themselves 
 as houshoid servants, for a piastre a 
 year, and serve the inhabitants will) 
 so much affection, as to hazard then- 
 lives for them. They are constantl) 
 armed with a demi-lance or dart. 
 
 The government at the Cape seems 
 to make a point of protecting the Hot- 
 tentots. When they lodge a complaint 
 against an European, they are favour- 
 ably heard: it bein^ presumed, that 
 the party known to have the fewest 
 desires and fewest wants, is the most 
 likely to be in the right. 
 
 I have seen many of them come 
 into the town, driving waggons drawn 
 by eight pair of oxen. They have 
 whips of a great length, which they 
 use with both hands. The, driver, 
 from his seat, flogs with equal address 
 the f«re or wheel hor?es. 
 
 The Hottentots are a pastoral peo- 
 ple ; they are all upon a footing; but 
 in each village they choose from 
 among themselves, two men, to whom 
 they give the title of captain or cor- 
 poral; these m.inage theJr commer- 
 cial business witli the company. Tliey 
 sell their fl(icks very cheap ; so cheap 
 even as three or four sheep for a roll 
 of tobacco. Although they have such 
 numbers of cattle, the}' generally wait 
 till they die by accident, or of old 
 age, before they eat them. 
 
 Those whom I saw, had a sheep 
 skin over their shoulders; a cap and 
 belt of the same stuff. They shewed 
 me how they lay to rest, which was 
 naked, at their lerigth upon the ground, 
 and their cloak served to cover them. 
 They are not so black as thenegroeb; 
 
 like them, however, the^ have a fiat 
 iiise, wide mouth, and thick lips. 
 Their hair is shorter and nioie curiv» 
 ike wool. I have observeil ometiung; 
 very particular in their sp(>e( h — every 
 vord is preceded by a clack of the 
 fonoue, which, without <loubt, occa- 
 sioned the name of Choccoquas to be 
 given them ; which name they have, 
 in some oUl maps by Monsieur de L' 
 I.-.le. One would really think they 
 continually repeated Clioccoq. 
 
 Besides their slaves, aiid the Hot- 
 tentots, the Dutch retain indented 
 servants. They are European**, to 
 whom the Company advarice money* 
 and whom the inhaliitants lako home 
 with them, having fii-^t paid the go- 
 vernment their disbursements. 
 
 They are chiefly employed to super- 
 intend household matters. They are 
 diligent enough at first, but g(»od liv- 
 ing makes them idle. 
 
 The people at the Cape do not game 
 nor do they visit much. The women 
 look alter their servants and houses, 
 the furniture of which is always in 
 the nicest order. The husband con- 
 ducts the business abroad. In the 
 evening the family assemble, they 
 walk, and take the air as soon as the 
 breeze is at an end. The same busi- 
 ness and the same pleasures, arc re- 
 peated daily. 
 The utmost harmony prevails among 
 relations. My hostess' brother was a 
 peasant of the Cape, who came se- 
 venty leagues from hence. This man 
 hardly ever spoke, and was continu- 
 ally seated, smoking his pipe. He had 
 a little boy with him ten years old, 
 who constantly attended him. The 
 father put his hand to his cheek, and 
 caressed him without opening his lips; 
 the child, silent as his tather, p/essed 
 his gre-.it hands in his own, looking 
 up to him with eyes e.\[iressive of the 
 ;Tio^t filiftf ^pruleriia'is. This little hoy 
 woie the roiiiTt^_^ habit — he had 'a 
 ctjusin in the honse.of his own a^e. 
 who was very genleely dressed ; the-,*
 
 280 Literary Cttriosiiies, Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events, 
 
 children used to walk out togeth'i 
 with the greatest intin:acy. The iitt!'. 
 citizen did not look willi conlt'ni!>! 
 on the peasant — he was his cousin. 
 
 It was this magistrate's delight \\\w. 
 lie came home from business, to sfa. 
 himself among his children. The 
 jumped round his neck ; the little owv 
 embraced his knees ; the} appealed u> 
 him in their disputes — whilst the eld- 
 est daughter, excusing some —approv- 
 ing others — and smiling upon all, i< 
 doubled the joy of the truly pareutii 
 lieart of her lather. 
 
 London Magazine, Nov. 1715 
 
 Scarce Articles. 
 
 SINCE R 'TV—in pairiotism. 
 
 I^onoui-'— niong Atlornies. 
 
 Friendship— w'lthvut interest. 
 
 Love — without deceit. 
 
 Charity — without ostentation. 
 
 Honesty — in Parish Officers. 
 
 Fair /?/«?/— among Gamblers. 
 
 Beautij — withnut pride. 
 
 An Advocate — witiiont a fee. 
 
 A Parson — practising what lie pro- 
 fesses. 
 
 A Fashionable Man — without fop- 
 pery. 
 
 A Fashionable IVoman — without 
 paint. 
 
 A sanctified look — without hypo- 
 crisy. 
 
 A Prude — without incontinence. 
 
 A Blustering Man — without cow- 
 ardice. 
 
 A Subaltern Officer — with money. 
 
 Opposition — without sinister views. 
 
 Administration — inattentive to pri- 
 vate interests. 
 
 1^ Heroic Painter. 
 
 VERNE T', the famtms painter, was 
 so atttJi hed to his profession, that he 
 used t<» make voyages in bad weallier 
 <!n pnrp- «e to see the sky and ocean in 
 firturesque peiturbation. Oiic day 
 liie storm was so violent that the ship's 
 rrew were in great consterpation. 
 Veruet desired a sailor to \n\n\ him to 
 'he mast When every one was rrvng 
 and praying, V'ernet, with bis eves 
 now upon the lighlnitii;, and now upon 
 tht- niounlainous waves, continued t« 
 cxciaim, " How tine this is !" 
 
 A Promising Youth. 
 
 CONCERNING the late earl of 
 who when vouna: was remark- 
 
 able far cajoling his cj-editors with a 
 future pay-dftV, it was observed by one 
 of his friends, tliat it was a pity that 
 fortune should neglect so prominng a 
 
 The Misses Feast.- 
 
 '■i IS chimney smokes' it is some omen dire ! 
 His neighbours are alarm'd, aud try oat, 
 Fire. 
 
 Appropriate Recommendation . 
 
 IN a bookseller's catalogue lately 
 appeared the fuliowiiig article : — ■ 
 " Memoirs of C;>arles the First, with 
 a head capitally executed." 
 
 Dean Stci/t's Curate, 
 
 I M A RCH'D til rep miles thro' scorching sand 
 With zeal in heart, and notes in hand; 
 I rode four more to great St. Mary, 
 Using four legs, wlien two were weary. 
 To three fair virgins I did tie men, 
 In the close baQoi* of pieasin^ Hymea; 
 1 dipt two babe;- in holy water, 
 And purified their mothers after. 
 Within an hour and eke an half, 
 I prcach'd three congregations deaf; 
 While thund'ring out with lungs long- 
 winded, 
 I chopt so fast that few were minded. 
 My emblem, the laborious sun, > 
 
 Saw all these mighty labours done, S- 
 
 Before one race of his was run : j 
 
 All this perform'd by Robert Hewit, 
 What mortal else could e'er go through it ? 
 
 young gentlemau. 
 
 Trial of Wit. 
 
 A PERSON abusing another in the 
 presence of Churchill, said, he was 
 so insuflerably dull, that if ;^ou said 
 a good thing he did not understand it. 
 "Pray, sir," said Churchill, "did 
 ijou ever try him ?"
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, ^c. 281 
 
 A Play Bill. 
 
 KILKENNY THKATRE ROYAL. 
 
 By his Majesty's Company of Co- 
 rned ians. 
 (The la^t niglit, because the company 
 
 £;o to-morrow to VVfiterforfl.) 
 On Saturday, May 1 ilh, 1793, vvih 
 be p rfonned, bv command of se- 
 veral respectable people in thi^ 
 learned iiietrapolish, for the benefit 
 of Mr. Kt-arns, 
 
 1 he Traiiedy of Hamlet. 
 Originally wriiteii and composed by 
 the celebrated Dan. Hayes of Limer- 
 ick, and insarted in Shakspeare's 
 Works. 
 
 Hamlet by Mr. Kearns, (being his 
 first appearance in that character) 
 who, between the acts, will perform 
 several solos on the patent bagpipes, 
 which play two tunes at the same time 
 Ophelia by Mrs. Prior, who will 
 introduce several favorite airs in cha- 
 racter ; particularly " The Lass of 
 Richmond-hill," and "We'll ali be m.- 
 bapp\ together," from the Reverend 
 Mr. Dibdin's Oddities. 
 
 The parts of the king and queen, 
 by directions of the Rev. father O' 
 Callaghan, will be omitted, as too im- 
 moral f«)r any stage. 
 
 Polonius, the comical politician, by 
 a young gentleman, being his first 
 appeatance in public. 
 
 The Ghost, the Grave-digger, and 
 Laertes, by Mr. Sampson, the great 
 London comedian. 
 
 The characters to be dressed in 
 Roman shapes. 
 
 To which will be added, an Inter- 
 lude, in which will be introduced se- 
 veral slight of hand tricks, by the 
 celebrated surveyor Hunt. 
 The whole to end with the Farce of 
 
 MAHOMET THE IMPOSTOR. 
 
 Mahomet by Mr. Kearns. 
 
 Tickets to be had of Mr. Kearns, 
 at the sign of the Goat's Beard, in 
 Castle-street. 
 
 *,* The Yalue of the ticket, as 
 
 usual, will be taken (if required) in 
 candles, bacon, soap, butter, (heese, 
 etc. as Mr, Kearns wishes, in every 
 particular, to accommodate the publico 
 03= No person whatsoever will be 
 admitted into the boxes without shoes 
 or stockings. 
 
 Female Benevolence. 
 
 THAT intelligent and unfortunate 
 traveller, Ledyard, pays a very sin- 
 cere and animated tribute of gratitude 
 to the female sex, even in the most 
 barbarous and uncivilized countries, 
 for their benevolent and hospitable 
 attention to the forlorn stranger. Mr. 
 Park, who has been in a similar situ- 
 ation with Ledyard, mentions the fol- 
 lowing anecdote, in the short account 
 of his travels: 
 
 Mr. Park, one evening, in travelling 
 along the banks of the Niger, was 
 overtaken with a storm of thunder and 
 rain, which drove him to a tree for 
 slieiter. As night approached, a poor 
 Negro woman, returning from the la- 
 bours of the field, observed that he 
 was wet, weary, and dejrcted, and, 
 taking up his saddle and br.dle, told 
 him to follow her. She led him to 
 her cottage, where she regaled him 
 with an excellent supper of fish, and 
 corn for his horse ; after which she 
 spread a mat on the floor for his 
 night's repose. Having done these 
 kind offices, she called in the female 
 part of the family, who spun cotton 
 f'.tr the greater part of the night, and 
 relieved their labour by songs. One 
 of them, which was sung in a sweet 
 plaintive air, must have been com- 
 posed extempore, as the literal trans- 
 lation of the words is as follows: 
 
 *' The winds roared and the rain 
 fell. The poor white man, faint and 
 weary, came and sat under our tree. 
 He has no mother to bring him milk, 
 no wife to grind his corn " Chorus : 
 
 Let us pity the white man; he has 
 n ) motlier to bring him milk, no wife 
 to grind his corn." 
 o e
 
 282 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs , Wonderful Events, 
 
 Will of Miss Gibson, n Maiden Lady 
 of Hampstead, 
 
 THIS lady's will is of the most 
 singular nature: — Two female rela- 
 tives, full of giief, and next of kin, 
 attended the funeral ceremony, not 
 without hopes that the will would dis 
 pel grief, and renier their future life 
 joyful; yet, sad to tell, the expected 
 legacy terminated in— one solitary 
 shilling each ! To her servants, i»an 
 and wife, her bounty has been muni- 
 ficent : — to the woman she bequeaths 
 ten thousand pounds, but deprives the 
 husband of reaping any benefit from 
 it :— to their son she has left one thou- 
 sand pounds, witi) the princinal of his 
 mother's legacy, after her death: to 
 the husband, wlio acted in the double 
 capacity of coachman and footman, 
 one thousand pounds, with the furni- 
 ture, <l'c. on condition only, that, with 
 her two f ivorite coach horses, he drives 
 her remains to the place of interment; 
 tli?n will; the greatest care and ten- 
 derness, bring thenj back again to 
 Hampstead; but, after this journey, 
 and allowing them a day of rest, his 
 whole legacy to become null and void, 
 if he does not see them both shot the 
 next t^ay, and buried in a Imle made 
 on purpose. This last part of the will 
 was punctually execuled, adjoining 
 Rliss Gibson's Lite residence at Hamp- 
 stead. 
 
 Smgidar Marnier of Marrying in 
 China. 
 
 A MAN cannot live unmarried to 
 the age of twenty in China, without 
 becoming the object of ridicule: but 
 tlieii tiic consent of fhe parties is ne- 
 ver asked, yheir parents or guardi- 
 ans enler into a contract when tiie boy 
 and ^iii are infnjis; aisd when they 
 arrive lit years (.f muturifv, the young 
 gtntleuuui sends tiie lady a }!r(se];t 
 suitable to her qualify ; a spK-ndid 
 cavalcade is made ; the bride is con- 
 veyed to the house of her spouse. 
 
 who never sees her till she enters his 
 doors; then he unlocks the chair that 
 brings her; and if he does not like 
 her, he is at liberty to return her to 
 her friends that moment, provided he 
 is willing to lose the presents that havti 
 beei>niade her, with which he may be 
 said to have purchased his wife; for 
 he never receives any fortune with her. 
 The lady, however, has not the like 
 option : — if her husband will keep her, 
 she is not allowed to retreat, how nuich 
 soever he proves to be her aversion, 
 and though he may have several other 
 wives and concubines. 
 
 When the man has once received 
 his wife, he cannot turn her off, un- 
 less it be for aduliery, or some noto- 
 rious crime : but in these cases he may 
 sell ber, and purchase another with 
 the money. As to the common peo- 
 ple, they seem to be so much ashamed 
 of living single, after the age at which 
 the custom of their country allows 
 them to marry; or they have such a 
 strong propensity towards matrimony, 
 that they will sometimes consent to 
 become slaves, on condition they may 
 have a slave in the family for a wife, 
 when they are not in circumstances t» 
 purchase one. 
 
 Election Anecdote. 
 
 A GENTLEiMAN who canvassed 
 for a surgeoncy at the Bristol iiilir- 
 n)ary, waited upon a grocer who hap- 
 pened to he a subscriber, and, mak- 
 ing his bow, as is usual on these occa- 
 sions said, "Sir, I have taken the 
 iiheily of troubling you, to request 
 
 that you would " at whicii 
 
 moment perceiving, by the stern brow 
 of the grocer, that he was about to 
 receive a plump refusal, with great 
 promptitude the applicant changed his 
 lone, and instead of soliciting his vote, 
 ended his sentence with " weigh men 
 pennijivorth of plums!" and laid llie 
 money on the counter.
 
 Interesting Narratires, Enigmas^ Epigrams ^ Poetnj, %;c. 2R3 
 
 Tom Long, Smith, the Docfor. 
 HODGE, a poor honest country lout, 
 
 Not over-stock'd witli learn iug, 
 Chanc'd on aiiommer's eve to meet 
 
 The Vicar home returning: 
 
 " Ah ! Master Hodge," the Vicar said, 
 
 " What still as wise as ever ! 
 " The people in the village say 
 
 '*' That you are woud'rous clever." 
 
 " Why, Master Parson, as to that, 
 " I beg you'll right conceive me, 
 
 <' I donna brag — but still I know 
 " A tiling or two, believe me." 
 
 " I'll try yopr skill," the Vicar said, 
 " For iearuing what digestion, 
 
 '■•■ Which soon you'll prove it right or wrong. 
 " By solving me a question. 
 
 " Noah of old three babies had, 
 " Or grown up children rather; 
 
 " Shem, flam, and Japhet, they werecali'd, 
 " Now who was Japhet's father?' 
 
 " Ad zooks!" cry'd Hodge, and scratch'd 
 his head, 
 
 " That does my wits belabonr ; 
 " Cut homevTard howsome'er I'll run, 
 
 " And ax old Giles, my neighbour." 
 
 To Giles he went and put the case, 
 
 With circumspect intention:' 
 " Thou fool I" cry'd Giles, "I'll make it 
 clear 
 
 " To thy dull comprebeasioa. 
 
 '' Three children has Tom Long the smith, 
 
 "Or cattia doctor rather; 
 " Tom, Dick, and Harry, they are call'J, 
 
 " Now who is Harry's father?" 
 
 ^* Ad rat it," honest Hodge replies, 
 " Riglit well I know your lingo — 
 
 " Who's Harry's father? — stop — here goes, 
 "Why Tom Long, smith, by jingo!" — 
 
 Away he ran to meet the priest 
 
 With all iiis might and main, 
 \^Ti(), with good humour, instant prft 
 
 The question ouce again : 
 
 " Noah of old three babies had, 
 " Or gro\yn-iip children rather; 
 
 *' .''hem, Ham, nn^i Jiphet, they were call'd, 
 " Now who was Japhet's father r" — 
 
 " I have it now," Hodge grinning cries, 
 " III answer like a proctor. — 
 
 *' Who Japiiet'.s father? — now f k^iow — 
 " Wliy Tom Long, sniilh, tlie doctor !" 
 
 Oii a ijrcat House adorned icilh Statues, 
 TEIB walls are thick, the servants thin ; 
 'Ji.e gvil'b williout, the devii wiUiin. 
 
 A crowded House. 
 
 A MIGHTY jnmble stuck together, 
 Tiiick as peas in summer weather ; 
 Formed in motley grouped they sit. 
 In boxes, gallery, and pit. 
 
 ladies fine enough to tempt ye, 
 Dashinii wigs, and heads quite empty. 
 Runners, bailitfs, all in trade; 
 Bond-street beaux of both afraid. 
 
 Hangmen, publicans, and footmen. 
 Rogues, who nightly rob and shoot men j 
 Noble, single, all conditions, 
 Lawyers, poets, priests, physicians, 
 
 Scots beneath a thread-bare cnrer ; 
 Aldermen who live in clover — 
 Females red, fair, brown, and black, 
 With naked arms, and shortened back. 
 
 Handsome, ngly, noisy, still — 
 
 Some that won't — and more that will. 
 
 Many a bargi>in, if you strike it — 
 
 A London audience — '' how d'ye like it!" 
 
 Sportsman's Distress. 
 
 I'VE lost my friend, my dog and wife, 
 
 Sav'd only horse and purse; 
 Yet wlipn I think on human life, 
 
 Thank heaven 'tis no worse. 
 My friend was^ickly, poor, and old, 
 
 Was peevish, blind, and crippled; 
 My wife was ugly, and a scold. 
 
 And I rather think she tippled. 
 Aly dog was faithful, fond, and true, 
 
 In sporting gave me pleasure; 
 I shouldn't care for t'other two, 
 
 If I hadsav'd this treasure. 
 
 S^mjjloms cf an Epicure. 
 
 QUIN was so great an epicure, 
 tiiat lie made frequent joiuiues to 
 i>-\lb, purposely !o eut Jvhn Dorey. 
 He arrived one iiiglit hi eieveii, went 
 to bed without seipper, and ordered 
 liis servant to get a good dish of John 
 Dorey, and call iiim at nine in the 
 muniing. At nine ne.xt morning the 
 servant knocked at his door. — " ^Vho's 
 there]" says Quin. "It's me, Sir!" 
 " Weil, wiiat d'ye say V " There 
 wii! be no .{ohn Dorey up to day," — 
 " The devil there won't — then call lue 
 at niiie I o- morrow morning." 
 o o 2
 
 S84 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 The Pilgrims and the Peas. 
 
 A BRACE of sinners, for uo good, 
 
 Were ordered to the Virgin Mary's 
 shrine; 
 Wheat Loretto dwelt, in wax, stone, wood, 
 And in a fair white wig looli'd wondrous 
 fine. 
 
 Fifty long miles had those sad rogues to 
 
 travel, 
 With somnthiiig in their shoes niach worse 
 
 than gravel; 
 In short, their toes so gentle to amuse, 
 The priest had order'd peas into their shoes, 
 A nostrum famous in old Popish times, 
 For purifying souls tliat stank with crimes ; 
 
 A sort of apostolic salt, 
 
 That Popish parsoos for its pow'rs exalt, 
 For keeping souls of sinners sweet, 
 Just as our kitchen salt kteps meat. 
 
 The knaves setoff on the same day. 
 Peas in their shoes to go and pray ; 
 
 But very ditf'rent was their speed, I wot : 
 Oneof tbesinners gallop'd on. 
 Light as a bullet from a gun ; 
 
 The other limp'd as if he bad been shot. 
 
 One saw the Virgin soon^ — pencavi cried — 
 Had hisVoul whitewash'd all so clever: 
 
 Then home again he nimbly hied, 
 
 Made fit with saints above to live forever. 
 
 2n coming back however, let me say, 
 
 He met his brother rogue, about half way; 
 
 Hobbling with outstretched bum and bend- 
 ing knt^es, 
 
 Damning the souls and bodies of the peas; 
 
 His eyes in tears, his cheeks and brows in 
 sweat. 
 
 Peep sympathizing with his groaning feet. 
 
 *' ITow now," the light-toed., whitewash'd 
 pilgrim broke, 
 " You l^zy lubber r" — 
 '• Odds curse it !" cried the other, " 'tis no 
 
 joke : 
 ♦' My feet, once hard as any rock, 
 " Are now as soft as blubber." 
 
 " Excuse me, Virgin Mary, that I swear— 
 " As for Loretto, I shall not get there; 
 *' No ! to the Devil my sinful soul must go, 
 *'■ For damsie if I ha'ut lost every toe. 
 
 " But, brother sinner, do explain, 
 «' How 'tis that yoH are not in pain ; 
 
 " What pow'r hath worK'd a woader for 
 your toes, 
 " Whils( I just like a snail am crawiing, 
 " Now swearing, now on saints devoutly 
 bawling, 
 " Whilst not a rascal comes to ease my 
 v> oes ? 
 
 " How is't that ?/o« can line a greyhound 
 go, 
 " Merry, as if that nought had happened, 
 liu.u ye?" 
 " Why," cried the other, grinning, '• you 
 
 must know, 
 " That just b fore I ventur'don my journey, 
 '■ To walk a little more at ease, 
 " I took the liberty to boil mg peas." 
 
 Date of the Term Guinea, and uhy 
 so called 
 
 IN King Charles the Second's lime, 
 w!itn Sir Robert Holmes, of the Isle 
 ofWishf, brniifjht gohl ttust from the 
 coa-t of Guinea, a guinea first re- 
 ceived its uanie from that country. 
 
 Cain's Banishment. 
 
 CAI>< in disgrace with Heav'n, retired to 
 
 Nod, ■ 
 A place uo doubt as far removed from God 
 As Cain could wish— which makes some 
 
 think he vtent 
 As far as Scotland e'er he pitch'd- his tent. 
 And there a city built of ancient fame. 
 Which he from KdAi, Edinburgh did name. 
 
 A new mode of settling a Shot. 
 
 FOUR genteel y-dressed shar|)er» 
 went to a reputable inn near Kenniiig- 
 ton, where they ordered an excellent 
 dinner, and were very liberal in call- 
 ing for wine. They at last rung for 
 the bill; the waiter came up with it, 
 uiien tliey rose one after another, 
 each Iiis hand in bis pocket, quarrel- 
 ling with each other who should treat, 
 each swearing he would ))ay for the 
 rest ; at last one proposed To toss up 
 lor if, which the remainder refused. 
 It was then proposed to ho<Ki-wiiik 
 the waiter, and the company to dance 
 around him without shoes, and the 
 first who was ciuight should pay, to 
 which I lie waiter consented. The 
 dance lasted for a little lime, till the 
 waiter, not hearing Ihe fiet of his 
 good friends, pulled down the hand- 
 kerchief, and began to open /us eyes, 
 tiieir persons, like their purses, Leing 
 invisible.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, ^c. 285 
 
 A Court Audience, 
 OLD South, a witty churchman reckoned, 
 Was preaching once to Ciiarles the Second ; 
 But mach too serious for a court, 
 Who at all preaching made a sport ; 
 He soon perceived his audience nod, 
 Deaf to (he zealous man ot God. 
 The docior stopp'd ; began to call, 
 <' Pniy 'vv.ike the Karl of Lauderdale ; 
 '■ My lord ! why, 'tis a mo.istrous thing! 
 " You snore so ioud, you'll wake theLiug.' 
 
 Curious Hoax. ISIO. 
 
 THE neighbourhood of Bedford- 
 street, Co vent Garden, was the scene 
 of uiiirh c iifusion. Some wajj had 
 taken the trduble of going to d fifcr- 
 ent tradespeople, and oidered various 
 articles of furnituie, and of other de- 
 scriptions, to be sent to the house of 
 Mr. Griffith, an apothecary in that 
 street. At an early liour in the morn- 
 ing, carpets, boxes of candles, arti- 
 cles of household furniture, &c, were 
 sent. The family being out of town, 
 and no person but the maici servant 
 at home, she of course refused to re- 
 ceive them; the consequence was, that 
 the porters were obliged to talie up 
 their loads and walk borne again, 
 amidst the jeers of an immense con- 
 course of people, assembled to wit- 
 ness this curious hoax. Fresh arrivals 
 in the course of the day induced the 
 crowd still to remain; among these 
 arrivals were a patent mangle, an enor- 
 mous large rocking-horse, three wag- 
 gon loads of coal, ^c. At length, 
 to complete the joke, at the dining 
 hour arrived eight post clinises, from 
 different parts of the country, with 
 some of the most intimate friends of 
 Mr. Grithth, all anxious, having re- 
 ceived cards of invitation for th;it pur- 
 pose, to taste his poultry and game, 
 but tlie populace made game of them, 
 and disappomtment being the order 
 of the day, the horses' heads were 
 turned and the guests departed, amidst 
 the loud cheers of llie spectators 
 The arrivals of goods continued till a 
 late hour in the eveninj:. 
 
 Tfie Coronation Oat/i. 
 
 THE archbishop or bishop shall say, 
 " Will you solenmly promise and 
 swear to govern the people of this 
 kingdom of England, and the domi- 
 nions thereto belonging, according to 
 the ntatutes in parliament agreed on, 
 and the laws and customs of the 
 san.e V 
 
 The king and queen shall gay, 
 " I solenmly promise so to do." 
 Arclibi^liop or Bishop. •" Will yoa 
 to your power cause law and justice, 
 in mercy, to be executed in all your 
 judgments V 
 
 King and Qveen. " T will " 
 Archbisfiop or Bishop. " Will you, 
 t(j the utmost of your power, maintain 
 the laws of G*«d, the true profession 
 of the Gospel, and the Protestant re- 
 formed religion establislied bvlavvl 
 And wid you preserve unto the bishops 
 and ciergy of this realm, and to the 
 cimrches committed to their charge, 
 al! such rights and privileges as by 
 law do or shall appertain unto them, 
 or any of them ?" 
 
 A7rt£- a7i(l Queen. " All this I pro- 
 mist to do." 
 
 After this, the kins and qtieen, lay- 
 ing his and her hand upon the Holy 
 Gospels, shall sav, 
 
 "The things which I have here be- 
 fore promised I will perform and keep. 
 So help me God." 
 
 Curious Wager. 
 
 A WAGER was contended for in 
 Chapel-field, Norwich. Two men 
 undertook to eat two dumplings, with 
 their hands tied behind I hem, before 
 a third could run round the field. 
 The dumpling-eaters (of the true Nor- 
 folk breed no doubt) compassed their 
 engagement before the runner could 
 the field : but it being proved that 
 one, having done first, assisted the 
 other, the wager was not determined, 
 on the objection that each man was t© 
 eat his own dumplijig.
 
 S86 Literanj Ci(rwslfics, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 WHEN Ganick was last at Paris, 
 Preville invited him to his viUa. Pre- 
 viile was reckoned the most accom- 
 piisJied comedian of the French the- 
 atre. Our Roscius, bein;^ in a gay 
 humour, proposed to go in one of the 
 Jiijcd coaches that ijo to Versailles, on 
 which road the villa of Preville lies. 
 ■\VheR they got in, lie ordered the 
 coachman to drive on, who answered, 
 that he would do as soon as he got 
 liis complement of four passengers. 
 A caprice immediafeiy seized Garrick; 
 lie determined to give his brother 
 player a specimen of his art. While 
 the co'cichman was attentively plying 
 for passengers, Garrick slipptd out of 
 the door, went round the coach, and 
 by his wonderful command of coun- 
 tenance, a power which he so happily 
 displayed in Abel Drugger, palmed 
 himself upon the coachn)an for a 
 stranger. This he did twice, and was 
 admitted each time into the coach as 
 a fresh passenger, to the astonishment 
 and admiration of Preville! He whip- 
 ped out a third time, and addressing 
 himself to the coachuian, was an- 
 swered in a surly tone, " that he had 
 already got his complement," and 
 would have drove off without him, 
 had not Preville called out, that as 
 the stranger appeared to be a very 
 little man, they would, to acconniio- 
 date the gentleman, contrive to make 
 room ! 
 
 Curious Circumstance. 
 
 A JEW delivered to the guard of 
 a western stage, as the coach was pass- 
 ing out of Exeter, a turkey, addressed 
 to a friend; the guard, availing him- 
 self of its not being booked, by the 
 way of sltmting Moshis tore oti" the 
 ilirection, and oflered it to sale at 
 Salisbury": the person, however, who 
 made tlie purchase, on examining the 
 Imkey, found an Hebrew letter, with 
 three gohi rings and some jewels in 
 
 the body of it : the letter was sent to 
 a Jew in the town to translate, when 
 it appeared that the Israelite had hit 
 upon this as thejafest mode to convey 
 the inclosed valuables to bis friend, 
 which were thus only preserved by the 
 integrity of the person who bought 
 the turkey. He immediately sent it 
 to its original place of destination, ac- 
 cording to the superscription of the 
 Hebrew letter. 
 
 Epigram. 
 
 O LET me die in peace ! Euraenes cried, 
 
 To a liard creditor at his bed-side, 
 
 Hosv ! die! roar'd Gripus; thus your debts 
 
 evade ! 
 No, no, Sir, yotisba'ntdiclill I ampaid. 
 
 The Empfij Gun. 
 
 As Dick and Tom iu fierce dispute engag? , 
 
 And, face to face, the noisy contest wage ; 
 
 '•Don't cock your chin at me, Dick smartly 
 
 cries, 
 
 " Fsar flot — his head's not charged,''' a 
 
 friend replies. 
 
 Philosophic Pun. . 
 
 DOCTOR Hough, some time since 
 bishop of Worcester, who was as re- 
 markable for the evenness of his tem- 
 per, as for many other good qualities, 
 having a very large company at his 
 house, a gentleman present desired his 
 lordship to show him a curious wea- 
 tljer-glass which the bishop had lately 
 purchased, and which cost him above 
 thirty guineas. The servant was ac- 
 cordingly desired to brijig it in ; but 
 in delivering it to the gentleman, ac- 
 cidentally let it fall, and broke it to 
 pieces. The company were all a little 
 deranged at the accident. " Be undrr 
 no concern, my dear sir," said the 
 bishop smiling, •' I think it is rather a 
 lucky omen : we have hitherto bad a 
 dry season and I hope we shall have 
 some rain ; for 1 protest I do not Vii- 
 member ever to have seen the glass bv 
 low."
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, S;c. 287 
 
 Humourous Anecdpte. 
 
 DR. IVIONSEY was always strangely 
 infatuated with tears of the public 
 funds, a bug Licar ihat drove him to 
 risk his money on troublesome secu- 
 rities, and ultimately prod need heavv 
 losses. He used to jpeak feelingly of a 
 Welch parson and a London attorney. 
 The doctor was frequently anxious, 
 in his absence from his apartment, for 
 a place of safety in which to deposit 
 his cash and notes ; bureaus and strong 
 boxes, he was conscious had often 
 failed in security. Previous to a jour- 
 ney to Norfolk, to visit his brother 
 and friends, during the hot weather 
 in Jul}', he chose the fire-place of his 
 sitting-room for his treasury, and 
 placed bank-notes and cash to a con- 
 siderable amount in that unusual situ- 
 ation, in one corner, under the cin- 
 ders and shavings. On his return, 
 at'ter a month's absence, he found his 
 old woman (as he always c-illed his 
 housekeeper) preparing to treat a 
 friend -or two with a cup of tea; and 
 by way of shewing respect to her 
 guests, the parlour (or master's sitting 
 room) fire-place was chosen to make 
 the kettle boil, as she never expected 
 her master till she saw him. The fire 
 had not long been lighted, when her 
 master arrived at the critical mttment. 
 When the doctor entered the room 
 the company had scarcely began te:r ; 
 he-ran across the room like a mad 
 man, saying, " Hang it, you have 
 ruined me for ever: j'ou have burned 
 all my bank-notes!"— First v.ent the 
 contents of the slop-bason, then the 
 tea-pot, then he rvished U> the pump 
 in the kitchen, and brought a pail ot 
 water, which he threw partly over the 
 fire and partly over the company, who 
 in the utmost consternation, got out 
 cf the way as speedy as possible. 
 
 His hoasekpeper, aiierwards Mrs 
 Slarriot, cried out, " For God's sake 
 sir, forbear; you will spoil the sieel 
 stose and fire-irons," "D — n the 
 
 irons, you, your company and all I 
 (replied the doctor) you have ruined 
 and undone me for ever; \ou have 
 burned ray bank-notes." 
 
 "Lord, sir, (said the half-drownod 
 woman) who'd ihir.k of putting bai>k- 
 notes in a Bath stove, where the fire 
 is ready laid ?" "And (resumed be) 
 who'd think of making a fire in the 
 summer time, where there has noS 
 been one for these several months 1" 
 
 He then pulled out all the coals and 
 cinders, nnd at one corner be found 
 the remains of his bank-notes, for 
 being twice folded, one quarter of 
 them so doubled, wrapped in browa 
 paper, was entire, so as to be legible. 
 Next day Dr. JMonsey went to lord 
 Godolphin's, told his lordship the 
 story, producing the remains of thrj 
 notes, and with such energetic gestures 
 in aeting the pait of finding them, as 
 greatly diverted the noble lord. He 
 lold the doctor, however, that he 
 would go with him to the bank^he 
 next day, and get the cask for hira 
 through his influence, and would be 
 collateral security for the doctor's 
 integrity and honesty as to their value. 
 Lord Godolphiu having occasion 
 to see the King that day on business, 
 told his ■Majesty the story of Monsey 
 and his bank-notes. Being well ac- 
 quainted with the doctoi's strange 
 character, the King resolved to go tj> 
 lord Godnlphin'i next morning, and 
 conceal himself in a closet. When 
 Monsey came, it was agreed, that 
 lord Godolphin should ask him la 
 repeat the story, which, upon his 
 arrival, lord Godolphin effected with 
 much diiiicuUy. His JMajesty was so 
 highly diverted, tliat, in attempting 
 to stifle the mirth it excited, and to 
 withdraw unpcrceived, he stumUtd, 
 and the closet-door opened. 
 
 The doctor was much chagrined 
 with lord Godolphin for running the 
 laugh on him, and just broke out 
 " G — d" when his IMajesty ap- 
 peared, and on seeing him, the docit>f
 
 S88 hiterarij Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 contiiuiefl: "bless your Majestv' 
 thi*- may be a j'ke with you an(J h' 
 loi"d>hip. but with me a loss of nea: 
 four hundred pounds." 
 
 " No, no, (lephed lord Godtdphii ") 
 for I am ready to "o with you imrrr- 
 diately, and get your notes renewe' , 
 or the money for them." 
 
 Lord Godoiphiii oidered his car- 
 riage, and a^ref'd to meet the doclo; 
 at the room in the Bank, where sonw' 
 of the directors daily attend. 
 
 The doctor beinji obliged to go to 
 the Hotse Guards, on business, took 
 water at Whitehall for the Bank. In 
 going down the river, Jiis curiosity 
 excited him to pull out his pocket 
 book, to see if the remains of his 
 notes were safe ; when a sudden puft 
 of wind blew them out of his pocket- 
 book into the river. 
 
 "Put back, you sons of b- ! 
 
 put back— (says the doctor) my bank 
 notes are overboard !" 
 
 He was instantly obeyed, and whei; 
 they reached them, he took his hat 
 and dipped it in the water, inclosing 
 the notes and a hat-full of water. In 
 this state he put it under his arm, and 
 desired to be set on shore immediately 
 He was landed at the Three Cianes, 
 walked straight to the Bank, and wa^ 
 shewn into the room where loru 
 Godolphin had just before arrived, 
 and had given notice of Dr. Alonsey's 
 coming— —*' What have you under 
 your arm?" says lord Godolphin: 
 "the damned notes," replied the 
 doctor, throwing his hat with the 
 contents on the table, among all their 
 books and papers; and with such ji 
 force, ,as to scatier the water in the 
 faces of all who weie standing near 
 ii. "There (said the doctor) tak( 
 
 the remainder of )our d d notes, 
 
 for neither fire nor water will con- 
 sume them !" 
 
 The Doctor and his Patient. 
 
 SLEPT yon vrell? ' Very well,' My draught 
 
 did iS;ood, 
 "II did no harm, foryonder it Lathstood.'' 
 
 Trarelkrs Anecdotes. 
 
 TO prove the garrulity of some 
 travt'Uers, we state the following fact : 
 A young mnn, some time back, ar- 
 rived at an inn, and after alighting 
 (■■om his horse, went into the travel- 
 ers' room, where he walked back- 
 \s;irds and forwards tor some minutes, 
 displaying the utmost self-importance. 
 At liMigth, he rang the bell, and, up- 
 on the waiter's appearance, gave him 
 ill order nearly as follows: "Wait'-r !" 
 the waiter replied, " Sir." " I am a 
 tnan of few words, and don't like to 
 be continually ringing ihe bell and 
 disturbing the house. I'll thank you 
 to pay attention to what 1 say." The 
 waiter again replied, " Yes, sir." — 
 ' In the first place, bring me a glass 
 of brandy and w^ater, cold, with a 
 little sugar, and also a tea-spoon ; 
 wipe down this table, throw some 
 coals on the, fire, and sweep up the 
 hearth ; bring me in a couple of can- 
 dies, pen, ink, and paper, some wa- 
 fers, a little sealing-wa.N ; and let ma 
 know what time the post goes out. 
 Tell the ostler to take care of my 
 horse, dress him well, stop his feet, 
 and let me know when he's ready to 
 feed. Order the chamber-maid to 
 prepare me a good bed, take care that 
 the sheets is well aired, a clean night- 
 cap, and a glass of water in the room. 
 Send the hoots with a pair of slippers 
 that I can walk to the stable in ; tell 
 him I must have my boots cleaned, 
 and brought into this room to-night, 
 and that I shall want to be called at 
 five o'clock in the morning. Ask your 
 mistress ivhal I can have for supper ; 
 *ell her I should like a roast duck, or 
 something of that sort ; desire your 
 master to step in ; I want to ask him 
 a few questions about the drapers of 
 tb^s town." — The waiter answered, 
 ■' Yes, sir," and then went to the 
 indlord, and told him a gentleman 
 .11 the parlour wanted a g:eat many 
 things, and, amongst the rest, he 
 wanted him ; and that was all he 
 could recollect.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, S;c. 289 
 
 Humoi'OJis Anecdote of Dr. IV , 
 
 of Camden Town, near London. 
 
 THIS Rev. Cleraymnn. so well 
 known for his researche-* into the ori 
 ginal Greek texts of the Fvan^flists, 
 and not more distinguished for his ex- 
 tensive learning, than foi his propen 
 sitv to those amusements which char- 
 acterized Parson Adams, recently re 
 lated the following anecdote of him- 
 self to a select circle of his friends. 
 The conversation happened to turn on 
 the folly of some men's wives; iip(m 
 which, said the doctor, I uili give you 
 an instance of the foil) of mine, ano, 
 I am persuaded, you must acknow- 
 ledge it exceeds every thing you ever 
 heard of. He thus proceeded : — "Yon 
 must know that some time ago the 
 Bishop of London was contemplating 
 a translation of the four Gospels, and 
 it occurred to his lordship that he 
 might probably derive some advantage 
 by consulting me upon t!ie subject. 1 
 need not tell how much attached 1 
 am to my pipe, nor what i^re^i^til)le 
 charms I find in a game at skittles. 
 
 " Now I happened to be enjoyin.- 
 both my favourite amusements at the 
 AVheat Sheaf, when his lordship order- 
 ed his carriage, and repairing to ray 
 house, inquired whether I was at 
 home? Mrs. W , instead of ab- 
 solutely denying me, as a sensible 
 Avoman ought to have done, immedi- 
 ately said I was at the Wheat Sheaf. 
 The Bishop naturally thought the 
 Wheat Sheaf might be some corn 
 chandler's, where I was disposing of 
 my tithe corn, or the produce of my 
 glebe land. He said to the coach- 
 man, 'John, do you know where the 
 Wheat Sheaf is?' * O yes, my lord,' 
 replied John. — * Well, drive there.' 
 John obeyed, and in a few minutes 
 the carriage stopped at the ale-house, 
 ■where I was in the height of my 
 glory. The Bishop stared at the ap- 
 pearance of the place, as well he 
 might. However he alighted, and 
 
 asked the landlord whether one Dr. 
 
 W was there .^ 'Always at this 
 
 h«ur (returned boniface), you'll find 
 him in the skittle ground.' 'The skit- 
 tle ground ! (muttered his lordship 
 as he advanced), what can he be 
 doing there?' 
 
 *• He soon discovered me in the 
 midst of the i)rofanum vu'gus, ».vho 
 were attending minutely to the cir- 
 cumstances of the gymnastic game, 
 I was the hero of the contest, and 
 V. as unluckily, at that precise mo- 
 ment, in the very art of emieavour- 
 ing to tip all pine. I \vas stooping 
 down with my pipe in my mouth, the 
 skirts of my coat tucked under my 
 lett arm, and a bowl in my right 
 hand; mv wig a little awiy. I was 
 aiming at the middle pin; I exclaim- 
 el, ' H'ell, here goes at the head of 
 the Church!' — before the bowl had 
 well quitted my grasp, the Bishop 
 tapped me on the shoulder, saying, 
 ' What, Doctor, is it you ?' I looked 
 round, and became petrified as if I 
 had si-en the Gorgon's head, could 
 not speak for some time, but at last 
 stammered, 'Yes, my lord, it is I.' — 
 * I am surprised to see you in such a 
 place,' added his lordship. — 'And I 
 am equally astonished at seeing your 
 lordship: but you must know, my 
 lord, that I am afflicted with a paia 
 in the chest, attended at times with a 
 difhculty of utterance. Your lord- 
 ''hip may easily perceive how I ana 
 affected at this moraelit.' ' I do per- 
 ceive it, indeed,' rejoined the Church 
 dignitary. I continued, 'for this com- 
 plaint my physicians ordered me to 
 use the exercise in which you see m« 
 employed, and they tell me I shall de- 
 rive great benefit from it.' Th*- Bishop 
 turned upon his heel, and left me with 
 this remark — 'Proceed, good doctor, 
 with your game ; I wish you all the 
 benefit from it your physicians hav^e 
 promised you ; but I am afraid it wilt 
 never be the means of procuring you 
 a benefice'" 
 pp
 
 iSDO Literanj Curiosities, Epitaphs, IVonilei'ful Events, 
 
 A Chinese Anecdote. 
 
 THE hsV Emperor of China was 
 one of the i^reatest nioiiarchs of his 
 age, and for notliinc; more celebrated 
 than the riiiour and strictness of his 
 justice; but he was wa;m in iiis |)ur- 
 suits of pleasure, and impatient of 
 interruption, when his mind was in- 
 lent upon it. The viceroy of one of 
 the provinces of that vast empire that 
 lay most remote from the imperial 
 city, had wrongfully confiscated tiie 
 estate of an lionest merchant, and re- 
 duced his family to the most extreme 
 misery. The poor man found means 
 to travel as far as to the Emperor's 
 court, and carried back with him a 
 letter to the viceroy, commanding him 
 to restore the goods which he had 
 taken so illeeally. Far from obeying 
 this command, the Viceroy put the 
 merchant in prison; but he had the 
 good fortune to escape, and went once 
 more to the capital, where he cast him- 
 self at the Emperor's feet, who treated 
 bim with much humanity, and gave 
 orders that he should have another 
 letter. The merchant wept at this 
 jesolution, and represented how in- 
 cftectual the first had proved, and the 
 reason he had to fear that the second 
 would be as little regarded. The Em- 
 peror, who had been stopped by this 
 crvmplaiiit, as he was going with much 
 haste to dine in the apartment of a 
 favourite lady, grew a little discom- 
 posed, and axiswered with some emo- 
 tii>u. I can do no more than send my 
 conunands ; and if he refuses to obey 
 tiiem, put thy foot upf'n his neck. I 
 implore your Majesty's compassion, 
 r*.'plied the merchant, holding last the 
 £n)peror's robe, iiis power is too 
 ir.ighly for my weakness, and your 
 jusilice prescribes a remedy, which 
 your wi'jiiom has never examined. 
 Tiie Emperor iuid, by this time, re- 
 coli'-ctt'd liinistlf; an<l raising the 
 merchant from the^roiind, said, " You 
 are in ti;e rij;iit; to complain of him 
 
 was your part, but it is mine to see 
 him punished. T will appoint com- 
 missioners to go back with you, and 
 make search into the grounds of his 
 jroceeding; with power, if they find 
 hhn guilty, to deliver him into your 
 liands, and leave you V^iceroy in his 
 stead For »ince you have taught me 
 bow to govern, you must be able to 
 liovern for me. 
 
 An Epigram. 
 
 HAL says lie's poor, in hopes you'll say he's 
 
 not, 
 But talie his word for't ; Hal's not worth a 
 
 groat. 
 
 Anecdote of a Counsellor famed for 
 his Eloquence and Covetousness. 
 
 A CERTAIN counsellor, famed 
 both for his eloquence and covetous- 
 ness, and who seldom considered the 
 goodness of the cause he undertook, 
 provided his client could pay well, 
 was consulted by a notorious robber, 
 who promised him a large reward, 
 proviiled that he brought him of!'; 
 and the pkader so dexterously man- 
 aged, thai he saved the rogue from the 
 gallows; an«l the client, to shew his 
 gratitude to his good friend, soon as 
 freed ha t 'ued to his house, and pre- 
 sented him with a thousand crowns. 
 The counsellor, in return to so gene- 
 rous a client, solicited the favour of 
 his company to supper; and the night 
 proving wet and dark, further invited 
 him to take a bed there, which oiTer 
 he accepted. The guest arose in the 
 middle of" the night, found the way to 
 the room of his hospitable host, and 
 without ceremony bound and gagged 
 him, re-pocketed his thousand crowns, 
 and broke open a chest, in which he 
 fivund plenty of silver and gold, with 
 which (afterwishing him a good night) 
 he marched of}" in triumph. — If we 
 screen a villain (at the expense of our 
 conscience) from law and justice, ue 
 merit no other teiurn than ingratitude.
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, 9^c. 291 
 
 Hoic difficult to please. 
 0\CE on a time, a son and sire, we're told. 
 The >:trip!iDg tender, and the father old, 
 Purct-aK'd a jark-ass at a country fair, 
 To ease their limbs, and hawk about tbeii 
 
 ware: 
 Br.t a;- the siuijs:i8h aninwl was weak, 
 They fear'd, if both shoiild mount, his back 
 
 wou'd bi- rk : 
 Up ffefs the hoy ; the father leads the ass, 
 iind through the grazing crowd attempts to 
 
 pass ; 
 Forth from the throng, (he^rey-beards hob- 
 ble out, 
 And hail the cavalcade with feeble shout. 
 " This the respect to reverend age you shew? 
 " And this the duty you to parents osve? 
 " He beats the hoof, and you are set astride, 
 *' Sirrah! get down, and let your fath,!' ride.' 
 
 As Grecian lads were seldom void of grace, 
 The decent.duteousyoutbjVesign'd his place. 
 Then a fresh mnrmur thro' the rabble ran ; 
 Boys, giris, wives, widows, all attack the 
 
 man. 
 " Sure, never was brute beast so void of 
 
 nature! 
 " Have yon no pity for the pretty creature? 
 " To yo'ir own baby can yon be unkind ? 
 •< Here!— Suke, Bill, Betty— put the child 
 
 behind.' 
 
 Old Dapple next the clowns' compassion 
 
 claim'd ; 
 " Tjs wonderment, them boobies ben't 
 
 asbam'd. 
 . '< Two at a time opon a poor dumb beast I 
 " They might as well have carry 'd b* at 
 
 least" 
 The pair, still pliant to the partial voice, 
 Dismount and bear the ass— Then what a 
 
 noise ! 
 Huzzas, loud laughs, low gibe, and bitter 
 
 joke. 
 From the yet silent sire these words provoke: 
 " Proceed, my boy, nor heed their farther 
 
 call, 
 " Vain his attempt, who strives to please 
 
 them all !" 
 
 Epigram. 
 
 AS a west-country mayor, with formal 
 
 address 
 Was making his speech to the haughty 
 
 Queen Bess ; 
 *' The Spaniard," quoth he, " with invat'rate 
 
 sp]ien, 
 " Has presum'd to attack you, apoorvirgin- 
 
 qneen ; 
 " Eut your majesty's courage has made it 
 
 api)ear, 
 That, the Don had ta'^n the wrong sow by 
 
 the ear." p p 2 
 
 On Mr. Nash's Picture at full Length, be- 
 tween the Busts of Sir Isaac Newton aneL 
 Mr. Pope, at Bath. 
 
 THE old Egyptians hid their wit, 
 
 In hieroglyphic dress; 
 To give men pains in search of it, 
 
 And please themselves with gisess. 
 
 Moderns, to hit the self-same path. 
 
 And exercise their parts ; 
 Place figures in a room at Bath, 
 
 Forgive them, God of Arts! 
 
 yewtbn, if I can judge aright, 
 
 All Wisdom does express ; 
 His knowledge gives mankind delight, 
 
 Adds to their happiness. 
 
 Pope is the emblem of true Wit, 
 
 The sunshine of the mind; 
 Read o'er his works in search of it, 
 
 You'll endless pleasure find. 
 
 Nash represents man in the mass, 
 
 Made up of wrong and right ; 
 Some'insesaking, sometimes an ass. 
 
 Now blunt, and now polite. 
 
 The picture plac'd the busts between, 
 Idds to the thought much strength ; 
 
 Wisdorn and Wit are little seen. 
 But Folly's at full length. 
 
 The Will of John Hedges, Esq. Secretary 
 to his Royal Highness, Frederick, Prine* 
 of fVales.. 
 
 THIS fifth of May, 
 
 Being airy and gay, 
 
 To hyp not inclin'ii, 
 
 But of vigorous miud, 
 
 And my body in health, 
 
 I'll dispose of my wealthy 
 
 Aad all I'm to leave 
 
 On this side the grave. 
 
 To some one or other. 
 
 And 1 think to my brother ; 
 
 But because I foresaw 
 
 That my brethrtn-in-law, 
 
 If I did not take care. 
 
 Would come iu for a share, 
 
 Whicli I no wise intended, 
 
 Tillti'iir manners were mended, 
 
 (Ana Gad knows there's no sign ;) 
 
 I do therefore enjoin, 
 
 And strictly command, 
 
 (Of which vvitness my hand,) 
 
 That nought T have got 
 
 Be brought to hotch-pot; 
 
 But I give and devise, 
 
 As much a-5 in me lies, 
 
 To the son of my mother, 
 
 My own dearest brother. 
 
 To have and to ho!d 
 
 All n)y silver and go a, 
 
 As the affectionate pledges 
 
 Of LisbrotSitT, * Jokt Hedo
 
 292 Literary Curwsities, Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events, 
 
 French Convention. 
 
 A LETTER, from the representa 
 lives of the people, Bourbotte, Tu- 
 reau, and Prieur, dated Mans, Dec 
 12, was read, condii/iing a dreadful 
 account of the slaniihler and defeat <>! 
 the royalists, with the loss of all their 
 treasure. The letter proceeds: 
 
 " Their banners, their crosses, am' 
 relics of all sorts, were left on X\\v fieiii 
 of battle. We are goln^ to collect 
 them and send them to you, that tti« 
 people may be apprized of the niean> 
 employed to deceive them. 
 
 " The citizens of Mans received 
 our soldiers as their deliverers. The 
 cavalry isstiil in put suit if the enehiy. 
 This action is one of the most decisive 
 for the cause of liberty. We send 
 yon a list «»f the famous relics taken 
 /rom the rebels. I. The head of St. 
 Charles Borromu, 2. Blessed stuffs, 
 found in the shrine of St. Denis. 
 3. Papers to prove that the relics of 
 St. Vincent are genuine. 4- A tooth 
 of the lower jaw of St. Vincent. 5. A 
 bit of tile head and the hair of Si. 
 Guii'nblot. 6". A piece of the robe ttf 
 the Holy Virgin. 7- ^ piece of the 
 frock oi th»^ inf t Jesus. 8. Tlie 
 gkull of St. Sebastian. 9. The grid- 
 iron of St. Laurence. 10 A piece of 
 the true cross 1 1. Two vials of the 
 milk of the most Holy Virgin." 
 
 Tiie perusal of thi? list produced 
 much laughter. Rarrere proceeded : 
 " I must add, that at Cholet, a re- 
 publican of thirteen years of age, who 
 had already fought for liberty, and 
 maintained an aged mother, being 
 surrounded by the rebels, preferred 
 death, to surrendering two horses lie 
 had with him." (Loud applauses.) — 
 The Convention decreed a pension to 
 ^e mother. 
 
 On Mr. Churchill's Death. 
 
 .*1.\YS Tom to Richard, Churclijll's dead ; 
 
 Saya Ricliiard, 'i'oai, you lie, 
 Old Rancour the report hath spiead, 
 
 £ut Geaius cauuut die. 
 
 Patronage. 
 
 THE late earl of Chesterfield was 
 universally esteemed the Maecenas of 
 ftie age in which he lived Dr. John- 
 son addressed the plan of his Dictio- 
 nary of the Eiu'iish Lan ;uage to him, 
 )n ihat account ; his lordship endea- 
 voured to be grateful by recommend- 
 ing that valuable work in two essays, 
 which, among others, he published in 
 a paper intitled The World, conduct- 
 ed by Mr. Moore and his literary 
 friends. Some time after, however, 
 the doctor took great offence at being 
 n'fused adnrittance to lord Chester- 
 field, which happened by a mistake 
 of the porter; and just befi)re the 
 work was finished, on Mr. Moore's 
 expressing his surprise that Dr. John- 
 son did not intend to dedicate the 
 book to his lordship, the lexicographer 
 declared he was under no obligation 
 to any great man whatever, and 
 therefore should not make him his 
 patron. " Pardon me, sir," .said 
 Moore, " you are certainly obliged to 
 his lordship for the two elegant papers 
 he has written in favour of your per- 
 formance." — "You quite ntistake the 
 thing," returned Johnson, " I con- 
 fess no obligation. I feel my own 
 dignity, sir; I have made a commo- 
 dore Anson's voyage round the whole 
 world of the English language; and 
 while I am coming into port, with a 
 fair wind, on a fine sun-shiny day, my 
 lord Chesterfield sends out two little 
 cock-boats to tow me in. I am very 
 sensible of the favour, Mr. Moore, 
 and should be sorry to say an ill-na- 
 tured thmg of that nobleman; but I 
 caiujot help thinking he is a lord 
 among wits, and a wit among lords." 
 
 A First Appearance. 
 
 THE late duke of N..rfolk was 
 <iuch addicted to the bottle. On a 
 oasquerade-niizht, he asked Foote, 
 what nets character he should go in. 
 " Go sober !" said Foote.
 
 Interesting Narrnttres. Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, ^c. 293 
 
 ISovtl Ih m. 
 
 A WATCHMAN m bpatmii !ii 
 round, a few nK>niiti<;sagn, vvass-uli. 
 perp'exed to find a pniper oharadt . 
 for the weather; for lie was sahitc'! 
 by iiail, rain, and snow, at the saii; 
 time; he therefoie iiiaiie tliis spiisi!)!. 
 proclamation: — " P.isl four o'clock, 
 and a queer morning." 
 
 The Astronomer's Room. 
 
 ONE day T cali'd, and, Philo oat, 
 I op'd the door, and looli'd about ; 
 Wlien, all his goods beiiigf full iu view, 
 I took this inventory true: — 
 
 Item, a bed withonf acurtaia, 
 A broken jar to ennpty diit in ; 
 A candlestick, a greasy night cap, 
 A spitting pot to catch what might hap ; 
 Two g'ockings darned with nnmeroos 
 
 stitches, 
 A piece of shirt, a pair of breechei; 
 A three-leug'd s'ool, a four-lfg;'d table, 
 Were filled with books unfit for rabble; 
 Sines, tangpnt», secants, radius, co-fines. 
 Snbtangents, segments, and all those signs; 
 Eoongh to shew the man who made 'em, 
 Was full as mad as he who read them; 
 An almanack of six years standing, 
 A cup with ink, and one with sand in ; 
 ©ne corner held his books and chest. 
 And round the floor were strew'd the rest ; 
 That all things might be like himself. 
 He'd neither closet; drawer, or shelf; 
 Here p-ss-pot, sauce-pot, broken platter, 
 Appeared like heterogeneous matter. 
 In ancient days the walls were white. 
 But who 'gainst damps and snails can fight? 
 They 're now in wreathy ringlets bound. 
 Some square, some oval, and some round ; 
 The antiquarian there may find. 
 Each hieroglyphic to his mind; 
 Such faces there may fancy trace, 
 As never yet knew lime or place ; 
 And he whostudies map-, or plans. 
 Has all the work done to his hands ; 
 In short the room, the goods, and author, 
 Appear'd to be made one for t'other. 
 
 Jriih Giant. 
 
 TflE retiiains (;f the hirgest person 
 ;'V('r kiiown ill 'li<' kiiigd.nr. of Ir.^land, 
 at IcasI siure th*' daxsof Pliil. Macoul, 
 iiie fa.i'ious Irisij i{iant, were interred 
 ill tlie (hiiich-yaitl of Roseuius.'hs iit 
 '!f Qr.ecii's coiMity. '1 lie coHii), with 
 t Cf'iilents, wei'jied foilv six stone, 
 which wauls hut six stone of six hun- 
 dred. It w.is bt-rne oji a very lorg 
 bier b\ thirty s'long men, whow«ie 
 lelievi'd ai intervals. Tiie name of 
 t. i^ evtraordi arv person is sai'i to 
 Inve been Kou«.r B^ri e, who lived at 
 or ne^r Borros, iti Ossory, and is re- 
 ported to have died of no other dis- 
 ease but a suftocafion, occasioned by 
 an exireniity of fat, that stepped the 
 play of the luii::s, and put a jieriod to 
 ins life, ill the titty-fourth year of his 
 a^e. He was seven stone heavier than 
 the noted Bright, of Maiden, wlio 
 wei^iied thirty-ei<rht stone nine pound?, 
 and whose waistcoat inclosed seven 
 large men. 
 
 Appropriate Answer. 
 
 TWO gentlemen having rendered 
 themselves famous, one for his fond- 
 ness for the fair sex, and ihe other by 
 his skill as a boxer, asked a Jew, if he 
 knew who they were? " Yes," replied 
 Smoucli, "one is an Amor-ite, and 
 the other a Hit-titjb." 
 
 Anecdote, 
 
 NOT long since, a gentleman near 
 Birmingham, having occasion to see a 
 frieiKl, called at his house, and was 
 told he was gone out: to save the 
 trouble of calling again, he expressed 
 a wish to see the mistress, butshealso 
 was gone out. Tliat no tune may be 
 lost, he requested to see tlie ^oung 
 master, but he likewise was out. 
 Wishing, however, not to go without 
 accomplishing his business, oh saying 
 he would then walk in, and »it bv the 
 fire till one of them relurned, he was 
 told by Pat, " Indeed, sir, and you 
 can't, for that too is gone ovt !" 
 
 Motto, 
 
 A CONSTAI^T frequenter of city 
 feasts having grown enormously fat, 
 it was proposed to write on his bar! , 
 " Widtned at ihe expense of the Cot - 
 poration of London."
 
 1994 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs^ Wonderfid Events^ 
 
 Eight tisic'ul DirecHom to Epiciira^, 
 very proper to be read before going 
 to all Anniversary Dinners. 
 
 1. Make it a rule to be e>iilv ii* 
 \'rur attendance; every epicme wiil 
 allow that it is better to wail a iiftie 
 for dinner: tli'an have the dinner 
 spoiled by waiting for him. 
 
 2. Carefully inspect the hiil of fare, 
 that you may ki.ow what is coming, 
 and be able to place yourself accord- 
 ingly. 
 
 3. Seat yourself directly opposite 
 to your favorite dish ; in that case you 
 will be ;ibie to help yourself to the 
 nice cuts. 
 
 4. Help yourself plentifully at first 
 as it is a thousand to one wii thtr y;iu 
 have « chance of a stcimd plateful, 
 and there may be sonu prcseiit \s iio 
 understand the joint as well as your- 
 self. 
 
 5. Watch the eye of him who 
 wishes to hob or nob and ask him to 
 drink a glass of wme with you. You 
 may i;et drunk otherways, but not so 
 expeditiously ^nd politely. 
 
 6. If you wish to !)e very witty at 
 the cxpen-e of any of the company, 
 attack him after the second botlle; 
 ten to one but he forjiets it all before 
 morninir, or if not, you can plead 
 that you had too nmch wine in your 
 head, 
 
 7. Always join loudly in the cliorus 
 of a stmii; it opens the pores, and 
 gives a particular relish to the wine. 
 
 8. In returning hon)e, particularly 
 if drunk, prefer riding on horseback : 
 you may fidl in the other way, but 
 there is more spirit and tffort in a fall 
 from a horse ; besides, you can always 
 bl.ime the iiorse who threw jou oif, 
 although he was sober. 
 
 Epitaph. 
 HERE lies, alas '. the more's the pity, 
 •Tlip sad reinaius of John Newcity. 
 
 N. B. His name was Newtown, lint that 
 would not have been a rbj me. 
 
 A QtwtatiQn applied to Miss Lofig, a little 
 Lady. 
 
 WHEUE any things abounds, we find 
 
 That nobody will have it; 
 But when thwe's liffle of the Itiad, 
 
 i^on't all tlie jieopie crave it ? 
 
 If wives are evils, as '(is l£nov»-a 
 
 And \vf>»>faiiy confess'd, 
 The \n;:r vvho'.-j wise will surely own 
 
 i\ tiide one is best. 
 
 The god of love's a little wight. 
 
 But he .utifiii as thought ; 
 Tkoii too art little — fair as light, 
 
 And every thiug in short. 
 
 Oh ! happy girl I I think thee so, 
 For mark the poet's song; "^ 
 
 " Vian wants tint little htre below, 
 But wants thai little Long." 
 
 Patriotic Actors. 
 
 SOME years ago, one of the male 
 convicts in Botany-Bay wrote a farce, 
 which was acted with great applause 
 at the theatre in Port Jackson. Bar- 
 rington, the noted pick-pocket, fur- 
 nished the prologue, which ended 
 with these two lines: 
 
 True patriots we, for be it understood, 
 Vfele/t our country, for our country^ s good. 
 
 Lines from Dr. Barnard, Denn of Berry, 
 
 to Dr. Goldsmith and Mr. Cumberland. 
 DEAR Noll and dear Dick, since you've 
 
 made us so merry. 
 Accept the best thanks of the poor Dean of 
 
 Derry J 
 Tho' I here must confess that your meat 
 
 and your wine, 
 Are not quite to my taste, tho' they're both 
 
 very fine; 
 For sherry's a lienor monastic, yon own. 
 Now there's nothing I hate so as drinking 
 
 alone; 
 It may do for your monks, or your curates 
 
 and vicars, 
 But for my part. I'm fond of more sociable 
 
 liqnors; 
 Your venison's delicious, tho' too sweet 
 
 your sauce is — 
 Sed nan ego maculis offendar pnvcis ; 
 So soon as yon i>!ease, you may serve me 
 
 your dish up, 
 But instead of your sherry, pray make me 
 
 a biahop!
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, $fc. 2*55 
 
 Curious Cont'ersalion. 
 
 A CURIOUS conversation Ititelx 
 took place on board a Margate Hon, 
 which IxMiig overheard, occasiotn-d w 
 ima'l merriment among ihe passen- 
 gers. A gentleman, who was totally 
 unacquainted with the cust' ms in 
 those vessel*, remained on deck till all 
 the cabins were doubly occupied, one 
 excepted, in which was a lady. — He 
 addressed himself to her:—" Pray. 
 Madam, be so kind as to make roon' 
 for me." — " Good God, Sir! you can 
 not come here; 1:0 to the other ca- 
 bins." — " I have, Madam, and I find 
 they are full." — '• Sir, it is im|)osbible 
 to admit you here, for / am undres- 
 sed." — " Well, Madam, I scorn to 
 take any advantage of you; I will 
 therefore undress too ! ! " 
 
 Paradox. 
 FOUR pe«ple sat dows in one erening to 
 
 play, 
 They plaj 'd all that eve, and parted next 
 
 day; 
 Cou'd you think, when yon're told, as thus 
 
 they all sat, 
 No other play'd with them, nor was there 
 
 one bet ; 
 Yet, when they rose np, each gained a 
 
 guinea, 
 Tho' none of them lost to th' amount of a 
 
 penny. 
 
 Answer, 
 
 Four merry fidlers play'd all nig-ht, 
 To many a dancing niony; 
 
 And the next mornlDg went away, 
 And each recen'd a guinea. 
 
 No Connoisseur. 
 THE late lord Chesterfield happen- 
 ed to be at a rout in France, wliere 
 Voltaire was one of the guests. 
 Chesterfieh) seemed to be gazing 
 about the brilliant circle of li! dies, 
 when Voltaire thus accosted him: 
 " My lord, I know you are a jndee ; 
 which are more beautiful, the Eiii^lisii 
 or French ladies?" "Upon my wo'rd," 
 replied his lordship, with liis tisiiitl 
 presence of nund, " I aui no connois- 
 seur in paintings." 
 
 Nan- Freeman. 
 
 A PERSON who resides in Pall- 
 Mall, happening to spend an evening 
 '?i the city, was asked in his turn tor a 
 song ; which he declined, alleging 
 that any attempt of his woidd give iio 
 elite. taimnent. " 1 have heard him 
 sing," says a grntleinan, " and he has 
 an excellent voice." — " Whatever be 
 in that," resumed the other, " as I am 
 m)t a fieeinan, I have no voice in the 
 city." 
 
 Epigram. 
 
 AT tea with some ladies a Newmarket 
 
 squire. 
 Rose to hand round the toast, which long 
 
 stood at the fire : 
 The touch burnt his fingers— he sfamn'd 
 
 and he gworo, 
 And quitting his hold, dropp'd the whole 
 
 OQ the floor. 
 The ladies all laugh'd, but young Turf 
 
 cried elate — 
 *' Well the Heat I have gain'd, though it 
 
 seems lost the Plate." 
 
 Subject of Surprise. 
 
 MR. (now lord) Erskiiie, beiiig 
 counsel for the phiintiff iti aa action 
 for the infringement of a pateut for 
 buckles, expatiated with his usual 
 eloquence on the jmprovepient made 
 on this manufacture. " What," .said 
 he, taking out his buckle and exhibit- 
 ing it to the court ; " what would my 
 ancestors say, were they to rise out of 
 their graves, and see me with such an 
 ornament as this?" — " They would Le 
 surprised, I date say," obstrved Mr. 
 Miiigay, " to see you with either iZ/ae 
 or siockinsr." 
 
 The Mistake. 
 
 A CANNON-BALL, one bloody day. 
 Took a poor sailor's leg away ; 
 And, as on comrade's back he made otJ", 
 A second fairly took his bead off", 
 'i be fellow, on this odd emergence. 
 Carries him pick-back to the surgeons. 
 
 Z — ds! cries the doctor, areyon druat . 
 To bring me here a head'e»s trunk? 
 A lyiug dog ! cries Jack — he said. 
 His leg was off, and not his head.
 
 ^96 Literary Cus'iosides, Epitaphs^ JVonderful Events, 
 
 The Vi'h' Jrishtnan and his Salad Oil. 
 
 PATRICK O'RhiiKier, a very sv.«n. 
 sibleauil cute Irislsman, as n»\ rtn '. 
 will fijid. cauif v^Kt fio;i! the roi.ti 
 of Ki krnny to Ent'lanH, in oidt-r U' 
 g( t srme service ; anfl in a few days 
 lia«l tile good f;iiMn* to be hired t<f 
 Sir J( jeni)r Tniefajid, near Chester, 
 who file iV.'W net k ai » • set <ut with 
 his f^niil> lor Lviulon. aii<( whm tlie\ 
 came to t(twn, ti.e iirst dav diiiiier was 
 dressvd accowiing to Sir jerenjj's 
 order, by a 1 .ter to a servant v,lio 
 was left 111 the ho.ise to take rare (>f it : 
 and, anions riiier timius, a fine sala.J 
 was prepared to eat with a piece of 
 roast beef; but when Sir Jefmv went 
 to drebs it, as he jienenJIy did hiiii- 
 self, there happened to bo oo oil in the 
 house, and tiie rest of the servi.nls 
 behig all busy, he called his new Iris 
 footman to <^o and fetch him some 
 *' Here," savs he, "30U mus* i^o to 
 some shop and get ixea cpiait f tat- 
 ing oil, any body will tell you where 
 you mav have it." So away go»s 
 FafricI , and runs full drive nito the 
 first shcp hecouid see, which hapt;en- 
 ed to be a baker's: " I want," says ii<-, 
 "a quart of eafing-oil for my masH ;." 
 " I do not sell oil," quo'h the I)ki?i 
 " Arrah." re;)l!ed Pafru k, '• but theu 
 you can tell me where they do" 
 " Yes, sa\s tlie baker, " 1 rm do (1i:i!. 
 and coing to the door, say? he, *'H» 11 , 
 friend, do you see yonder i* a jar.' 
 "Weil, a jar, and what is a jar?' 
 quojfe raJiick. " Why," quntll th< 
 baker, " do you see tiiat great brnwi! 
 thiiig upon a post, that is a jir, ai.d 
 il is an oil shop, there you mav h. i< 
 any sort of oil ^011 want." Su ;iVii.\ 
 gr.e.s Patrick, and runs Btaiing into tlii 
 oil-«l)op, iis he had done bticne inio 
 the baker's; " Arrah, Sir." says lie ti- 
 the oil-man, '• are you a jar V — " A 
 jar," quoth tlic man, "no, 1 an; nc 
 jar, but there is a jar a", the dcoi, ' 
 supptise that is whai you mean, wliii! 
 might you want pray /" — " Why," says 
 
 Patrick, " I want a quart of eating 
 oil for my master, and 1 was shent 
 here for it." — " That you may have. 
 Sir," replies the oil-man, "but what 
 have you got to put it in?" — " Arrah, 
 fait, nothing at all." quoth 'league, 
 " but you may put it in a piece of pa- 
 per." — '' Paper !" cries the oil-man in 
 A surprize, " vor. cannot carry it in 
 paper, why it is a liquid. ' — " Arrah, 
 well," replit's Teague, "and what is 
 that to you whal it is, cannol you put 
 it in a piece of paper ts I desire you I" 
 "Why," says the man to iiini again, 
 "I tell you, you cannot carry it m a 
 piece of paper, it will not hu|d it, 
 (there he shewed s<!me of it to Patrick 
 totonvince him) loc-kyt u here," says 
 l^e, "you cannot carry tl"s in a paper, 
 ] believe ; can you, do you think ?" 
 'Fait," sa>- Teague, " dai ish very 
 triif, but I can '.arry it in my hat 
 liioutr!-:" — •' ())i, your iiat," says the 
 "ilniati. "ay, that is true, so you 
 '■(H\, if vou please " — "Fait and sho 
 1 wili cru^h down de crown, and car- 
 ry it wid my hat." — " Ay, do so," 
 says thejiian, fer he was willing to see 
 the joke; and so down Patrick thrusts 
 tlie crown of his liai, and into it the 
 man pours the 01? ; and w h.en this was 
 done, the cniivenie ty he had made 
 wouhi not hold abov< tiie half of it. 
 " W. II, quoih ihe oilman, "where 
 ill y«)ii put the re.'^t ?" Il< re, Patrick, 
 .ft'.r a little pjinse, finding his fingers 
 i.i a cavity in the other side of his hat, 
 iurns it upside down in an instant. "O 
 f.^it," says he, " put it in here; so in 
 the man pours it directly, though 
 •tfidy to burst with laughing; and 
 Patrick put his hat with one corner 
 iii.dcr liis left arm; very well pleased 
 v\itli his contrivance, paid the man for 
 his oil, and away he marches home 
 as fast as he couhl, with the oil run- 
 ring down froui the outside of his hat 
 iipon his clothes, to the very shoes of 
 iiitn. Just as he came to the door, 
 ids master, being at the parlour win- 
 dow, and seeing what condition he
 
 Inte resting Narratives, Enigmas, Eingrams, Poetri/^ 8fc. 297 
 
 was in with the oi! in his fiat, ran to 
 the do«>r in a great passion to meet 
 him, and to prevent his coining into 
 the parlonr with it. "You rascal," 
 says he, " how came you in that pic- 
 kle? What have you in your hat?" 
 "O f^if. Sir," says Patrick, " hut it 
 is de oil that you sent me for:" 
 Teagne speaking this so serionsly, and 
 so seemingly composed, it made his 
 master ready to hurst wilh laughter, 
 though he \va«. provoked at his igno- 
 rance to the greatt^t decree. " Why. 
 \oii blockhead," says l',e, (tor he now 
 conceived Teague's contrivance,) " I 
 bid you bring me a quart of oil, I 
 am sure there cannot be a quart in 
 your hat, what have you done «ith fh- 
 rest ?" — " Arrah, fait. Sir," repiie- 
 Pat, " but I have got the rest o' the 
 other side now ;" so turning his hat 
 ufwide down again (in the nanner he 
 had done belbre) spilt all the rest upon 
 him; which unexpected turn of inge- 
 nuity, procured from his master, not 
 only an immoderate tit of laughing, 
 but also an absolute pardon for spoil- 
 iuj; his clothes. 
 
 The happy Life of a Country Parson. 
 
 PARSON, these things in thy possessing. 
 Are better than the Bishop's blessing — 
 A wife that makes conserves; a steed, 
 That carries double when there's aeed; 
 Oclober store, and best V'irjjinia, 
 Tythe-pig-, and mortuary guinea ; 
 Gazettes sent gratis do%An, and frank'd, 
 For which thy patron's weekly tbank'd ; 
 A large Concordance, bound long since, 
 Sermons to Charles the First when Prince; 
 A chronicle of ancient standing ; 
 A Chrysostom to •mootb thy band in. 
 The Polyglott— three parts— my text, 
 Howbeit— likewise —now to my next ; 
 Lo ! here the Septuagiut— and Paul, 
 To sum the whole— the close of all. 
 
 He that has these, may pass his life, 
 Drink with the 'squire, and kiss his wife ; 
 On Sundays preach, and eat his fill. 
 And fast ou Fridays — if he will; 
 Toast church and q Been, explain the news, 
 Talk with churchwardens about pews; 
 Pray heartily for gome new gift, 
 And shake tiis bead at Doctor Swift, 
 
 Poor Jack. 
 
 TWO f<^llows meeting, one asked 
 the other, why he looked so bad ? I 
 have good reason for it, answered the 
 other, " poor Jack such a one, the 
 greatest croney and best friend I had 
 in the world, was hanged but two days 
 ago." " What had he done T says the 
 lirst. " Alas!" replied the other "he 
 did no more than you ot I should 
 have done on the like occasion; he 
 found a bridle on the road, and took 
 it up." "Wiiat!" says the other, "hang 
 a man for taking up a bridle ! That's 
 bard indeed,' "to tell the truth of the 
 matter," says i he other, " there was a 
 horse tied to the other end of it." 
 
 Description of an Assise-Town. 
 
 A POMPOUS sheriif,dress'd exceeding fine 
 With awkwardjavel-men, a double line, 
 Twojudges eager lor the tiour to dine. 
 A groupof counsel, wbomonealways sees, 
 With spruce tye-wigs, and bands, saaa 
 
 briefs, sans fees ; 
 Attoruies anxious lo create dispute, 
 Aud ever fishing for a chancery suit ; 
 Raw country girls, not much averse to 
 
 plerse, 
 Those lucky counsel, who have touched 
 
 souie fees ; 
 Juries, whofind for plaintiff, or defendant. 
 Just as their stomachs feel, to make an end 
 
 on't. * 
 
 The town all uproar, riot, noise, and po- 
 ther. 
 And drunken witnessts one upon the other. 
 
 Old Hock. 
 
 THREE young Cantabs went one 
 evening to a coffee-house near St. 
 James's, being recommended to it for 
 the goodness of the wine, particularly 
 old hock, one of them, who took upon 
 himself to be the wit of the company, 
 ordered the waiter to bring a bottle of 
 kic, hcBC, hoc. However the waiter 
 puid no attention to this command; 
 aud, upon being called again, was 
 damned for a stupid rascal, and asked 
 the reason why he did not bring the 
 hoc. " Really, gentleman (said he) 
 i. thought you had declined it/'
 
 298 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, IVonderful Events, 
 
 Particulars of the Life of Governor 
 Wall, who was executed for the 
 Murder of Benjamin Armstrong 
 JOSEPH WALL, was descended 
 fiom a good family in Ireland, and 
 entered into the army at an early ajje. 
 Of a severe and ratlier unaccouiodii- 
 tiiig temper, he was not much liked 
 among the oflicers. The late Captain 
 Armstrong was his private agent, as 
 well as agent to the African corps of 
 which Mr. Wall was commandant. 
 Mr. Wall was only Lieutenant-Gover- 
 nor of Sene-Gambia, but acted as 
 chief, the first appointment being va- 
 cant. It was an office he held but a 
 short time, not more than two years. 
 During vvliich he was accused with the 
 wilful murder of Benjamin Arm- 
 strong, by ordering him to receive 800 
 lashes, on July the lOlh, 1782, of 
 which he died in five days after. His 
 emoluments were very considerable, 
 as, besides his military appointments, 
 he was Superintendant of Trade to 
 the colony. His family were origi- 
 nally Roman catholics, but of course 
 be conformed to the Protestant 
 church, or he could not have held his 
 commission. As soon as the account 
 of tlip murder reached the Board of 
 AdniiraUy a reward was ofleied for his 
 apprehension, but having evaded jus- 
 tice in 1784, lie lived on the continent, 
 sometimes in France, and sometimes 
 in Italy, but wiostly in France, under 
 an assumed name, where he lived re- 
 spectable, and was admitted into good 
 company. He particularly kept com- 
 pany with the otlicers of his own couii- 
 lr>, who served in the French army, 
 and was well known at the Scotch and 
 Irish college" in Paris, In 1797, he 
 returned to this cuuntry, as if by a 
 kind of fdtrtlitv, wirliout any apparent 
 rs'asnn; and ap])tie;i through the me- 
 dium of a friend, to obtain a safe re- 
 treat, which was f)rncured him at a 
 bou.se in Land)eth Cut, where he re- 
 mained s?¥eial snonlhs, seldom going 
 
 out» or that either very late or early. 
 He was frequently advised by the 
 friend who had procured him the 
 lodsiing, to leave the country again 
 and questioned as to the motive for 
 remaining ; he never attempted, how- 
 ever, to give any, but appeared, even 
 at the time when be was so studiously 
 concealing himself, to have a distant 
 intention of making a surrender, in 
 order to take his trial. It is very evi- 
 dent his mind was not at ease, and 
 that be was incapable of taking any 
 firm resolution either one way or 
 another. And even the manner in 
 which he did give himself up, shewed 
 siuiiular want of determination, leav- 
 ing it to chance whether the minister 
 fehould send fur him or not ; for rather 
 than go to deliver himself up^ be 
 wrote to say, " he was ready to do so" 
 a less becoming, but not a less dan- 
 gerous mode of encountering danger. 
 He was allied by marriage to a noble 
 family, and his wife visited him fre- 
 quently when in his concealment at 
 Lambeth ; and since that lime he lived 
 in Upper Thornhaugh-strtet, Bedford- 
 square, when apprehended. It is 
 most probable, that bad he not writ- 
 ten to the Secretary of State, th« 
 matter had been so long forgotten, 
 that he would never have been any 
 way molested. His tiial came on at 
 the Old Bailey, Jan. 28, 1802, about 
 tivenfif years after the commission of 
 the crime. At the commencement «.f 
 the trial, the prisoner said, he was 
 very hard of beariu!.', and therefore 
 requested that he might be allowed to 
 sit by his Counsel; the Chief Baron 
 of the Exchequer, Chief Justice in 
 the commission, with whom appeared 
 Mr. Justice Rookc, and Mr. Justice 
 Lawrence, said to the prisoner, " that 
 is perfectly impossible ; there is a re- 
 gular place appointed by the law for 
 persons in your situation; we can 
 make no distinction of the sort you 
 desire: that would be invidious." It 
 was proved by the witnesses that Arm-
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, 8fc. 299 
 
 strong was far from bein^ undutiful in 
 his behaviour, he was, however, tied 
 to the guti-carriage; and black men, 
 brought there for tiie purpose, not 
 the drummers, who in the ordinary 
 course of things would have had to 
 flog this man, supposing him to have 
 deserved flogging ; but black men 
 were ordere I to inflict on Armstrong 
 the jiunishment ordered. Each took 
 his turn, and gave tliis unhapp) suf- 
 ferer 25 lashes, until he had received 
 the number of 800; and the instru- 
 ment with wliich the punishment was 
 inflicted, was not a cat-o'-nine-tails, 
 whicli is the usual instrument, but a 
 piece of rope of a greater thickness, 
 and which was much more severe than 
 the cat-o'-njue-tails. The rope was 
 exhibited in evidence. While this 
 punishment was intiirting, the prisoner 
 urged the black men to be severe : In 
 said, among other things, "cut him 
 to the heart and to the liver." Arm- 
 strong, the subject of this punishment, 
 applied to him for niercv, but the 
 observation of the defendant on this 
 occasion, was, " that the sick season 
 was coming on, which, together with 
 the punishment, would do for him." 
 After receiving a great number of 
 lashes, that is 800, this poor creature 
 was conducted to the hospifal. He 
 was in a situation in which it was pro- 
 bable his death might be the conse- 
 quence ; he declared in his dying mo- 
 ments, he was punished without anv 
 trial, and without ever being so much 
 as asked, whether he had any tiling 
 to say in his defence. The prisoner 
 in his defence urged, (hat the deceased 
 was guilty of mutiny — that the pun- 
 ishment was not so severe as reported, 
 but, that the deceased was sufl^ered 
 to drink strong spirits w hen in the hos- 
 pital. Several witnesses were called 
 on the part of the prist)n<?r, parlicu- 
 larlN Mrs. Lacy, widow of the captain 
 who succecdtd Mr. WidI, and Mary 
 Faikner, wlm not only agreed witli 
 hiiu in the outrageous conduct of the 
 
 men, and the violent language they 
 used, but both positively swore that 
 Lewis, the first witness against the 
 prisoner, was not the orderly serjeaul 
 on that day ; John Faikner, Peter 
 Williams, and some others who were 
 present, were also examined, and 
 whose testimonies went in full corrobo- 
 ration of the account given by the 
 prisoner, and so far went to his justi- 
 fication; but which, in most material 
 points, was in direct contradiction to 
 the evidence wliich had been given by 
 the witnesses of the Crown. The 
 ; jury after being out of court son\e 
 time, pronounced a verdict of 'guilty.' 
 The Recorder then proceeded to pass 
 sentence of death upon him: that he 
 be executed the following morning, 
 and that his body be afterwards de- 
 livered to be anatomized according to 
 the statute. Mr. Wall seemed sensi- 
 bly affected by the sentence, but said 
 nothing more than requesting the 
 court would allow him a little time lO 
 prepare himself for death. On the 
 2 1st of January, a respite was sent 
 from Lord Pelham's oflice, deferring 
 his execution until the 25th. On the 
 24th, he was further res-pit ed till the 
 28th. During the time of his con- 
 finement, previous to trial, he occu- 
 pied the apartment which formerly 
 was the residence of Mr. Ridgway, 
 the bookseller. His wife lived with 
 him for the last fortnight ; although 
 he was allowed two hours a day, from 
 twelve to two, to walk in the yard, 
 he did not once embrace, this indul- 
 gence; and during his whole confine- 
 ment, never went out of his room, 
 except into the lobby to consult his 
 Counsel. He lived well, and was at 
 times very facetious, easy in his man- 
 ners, and pleasant in his conversation ; 
 but duri.ig the night he frequently sat 
 up in his bed and sang psalms, over- 
 heard by his lellow-prisoner He had 
 not raiany visiters, i.'is only attendanl 
 was a prisoner, who was appointee 
 for that purpose by ihs turjikej
 
 300 LHeravy Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderfid Events, 
 
 After trial he did not retum to his 
 old apartment, but was conducted 
 to a cell ; he was so far favoured as 
 not to have irons put on, but a per- 
 son was eniplo^-ed a? a guard to watch 
 him during the nigiit to prevent his 
 doing violence to himself. His bed 
 was brousht to him in the cell, on 
 which he ftirew himself in an agonv of 
 mind, sa>ing, it was his intention not 
 to rise u:>til they called him on the 
 fatal morning. The Sheriffs were 
 particularly pointed and precise in 
 their orders, with '-espect to confining 
 him to the usual diet of bread and 
 water preparatory to the awful event 
 This orler was scrupulously fulfilled. 
 The prisoner, during a part of tlie 
 night, slept, owing to fatigue and 
 perturbation of mind. The next 
 morning his wife applied, but was re- 
 fused admittance, without an order 
 from on«; *)f t >e Sheriffs She applied 
 t!) Mr. Shentr Cux, who attended 
 ber to the prison. From the time of 
 the first respite, until twelve o'clock 
 on Wednesday night, he did not cease 
 to entertain hopes of his safety. The 
 interest made to save him was very 
 great. Tlie whole of Wednesday oc- 
 cupied the great law officers; the 
 judges met at the Chancellcr's in tlib' 
 afteriTOon. The conference lasted up- 
 wards of three hours. About a little 
 after four o'clock, Thursday the 28th, 
 the scatfold began to be erected by 
 torch-light, and was completed soon 
 after seven, except the black hanging, 
 which is not permitted to be displayed, 
 nor the prison-bell to toll, for the 
 departure of any one convicted of 
 murder. The prisoner had an affect- 
 ing interview with his wife, the Hon. 
 Mrs. Wall, the night before, from 
 whom he was painfiilly separated 
 about eleven o'clock. This disconso- 
 late vind aOVctionate lady, unremitting 
 in her solicitude, caused the colonel 
 to write a note to Mr. Kirby, the 
 gaoler, about nine o'clock, requesting 
 she might be permitted to remain in 
 
 the cell until eleven ; thus cordially 
 manifesting her fond but delusive 
 hopes to the very latest moment. iNlr. 
 Kirby, with a feeling of humanity 
 highly creditable to his character, 
 readily complied with the request. 
 Rut, greatly unfortunate lady! she 
 had not any acquisition of reasonable 
 liope at the hour of her departure. 
 Eleven o'clock came and she saw the 
 end <)f all herearthly .joys! number- 
 less lender embraces now took place : 
 the loving wife reluctantly departed, 
 overwhelmed with grief, and bathed 
 with tears, while the unfortunate hus- 
 band declared that he could now, 
 with christian fortitude, submit to his 
 unhappy fate. — During the greater 
 part of the night he slept but little. 
 About four o'clock in the morning, his 
 sleep was however observed to have 
 btcome sound, and according to the 
 be^t recollection of iiis attendant, he 
 continued in his sleep ratiier more 
 than an hour: so that he could not 
 have heard the fatal machine in its pas- 
 sage to the debtors' door. His voice 
 preserved its usual strength and tone 
 to the end; and though very particu- 
 lar in his questions respecting the ma- 
 chinery in every part, yet he spoke of 
 Ijis approaching execution and death 
 nith perfect calmness. At half after 
 six in the morning, his prison attend- 
 ant going to his cell, was asked by him, 
 " V, hellier the noise he heard was not 
 that of erecting his scaffold 1" Me 
 was humanely replied to in the nega- 
 tive. The ordinary. Dr. Ford, soon 
 after entered, when the prisoner de- 
 voutly joined him for some time in 
 prayer. They then passed on to an 
 anti-room, when the governor asked, 
 "whether it was a fine morning 1" 
 On being answered in the affirmative, 
 he said, "the time hangs heavily, [ 
 am anxious for the close of the scene." 
 One of the officers then proceeded to 
 bind his arms with a cord, when he 
 extended them out firmly ; but recol- 
 lecting himself, he said, "I beg your
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas^ Epigrams, Poetry, 8fc, SOI 
 
 pardon a moment :" anti putting his 
 hand in his pocket, he drew out two 
 white handkerchiefs, one of wliich he 
 bound over bis temples, so as nearlv I 
 to conceal his eyes, over which he 
 placed a white cap, and tiien put ton 
 a round hat; the other handkerchief 
 he kept between his hands. He then 
 observed, " the cords cut me : but its 
 n« matter." On which Dr. Ford de- 
 sired them to be loosened, for which 
 the prisoner bowed, and thanked him. 
 As the clock struck eight, the door 
 was thrown open, at which SheritV 
 Cox and his officers appeared. The 
 Governor approaching him, said, " I 
 attend you, sir ;" and the procession 
 to the scaffold, over the debtors' door 
 immediately succeeded. He had no 
 sooner ascended it, accompanied by 
 the ordinary, than three successive 
 shouts from an innumerable populace, 
 the brutal effusion of one common sen- 
 timent, evidently deprived him of the 
 small portion of fortitude which he 
 had summoned up. He bowed his 
 head under the extreme pressure of 
 Ignominy, when the hangman put the 
 haller over it, but took it off again 
 to replace it ; this done the Governor 
 stooped forward, and spoke to the 
 Ordinary, who, no doubt at his re- 
 quest, pulled the cap over the lower 
 part of the face, when in an instant, 
 without waiting for any signal, the 
 platform dropped, and he was launch- 
 ed into eternity ! — From the knot of 
 the rope turning round to the back of 
 the neck, and his legs not being pull- 
 ed, as at his particular request, he 
 was suspended in convulsive agouy for 
 more than a quartfr of an hour. 
 After hanging a full hour, his body 
 was cut down, put into a cart, and 
 immed^iately conveyed to a building in 
 Cow-cross-street, to be dissected. 
 He was dressed in a mixed coloured 
 loose coat, with a black collar, swans- 
 down waistcoat, blue pantaloons, and 
 white silk stockings. He appeared 
 a njiserable and emaciated object, 
 
 never having quitted the bed of his cell 
 trom the day of condemnation till the 
 morning of his execution. His re- 
 mains were interred in the Church- 
 yard of St. Pancras, 
 
 Edward IF. and V. and Richard IIL 
 
 EDWARD IV. was a prince more 
 splendid and showy than either pru- 
 dent or virtuous; brave, though cruel; 
 addicted to pleasure, though capable 
 of activity in great emergencies ; and 
 less fitted to prevent ills by wise pre- 
 cautions, thai) to remedy them, after 
 they took place, by his vigour and 
 enterprise. 
 
 "Immediately after the death 
 
 of Edward IV. his son was proclaim- 
 ed king of England, by the name of 
 Edward V. though that young prince 
 was but just turned of twelve years 
 of age, never received the crown or 
 exercised any function ef royalty ; so 
 that the interval between the death of 
 his father and usurpation of his uncle 
 the Duke of Gloucester, afterward 
 Richard HI. was properly an interreg- 
 num, during which the uncle took his 
 measures for wresting the crown frotu 
 his nephew. 
 
 THE historians who favour Richard 
 HI. for even he has met with partisans 
 among the later writers, maintain that 
 he was well qualified for government, 
 had he legally obtained it; and that 
 he committed no crimes, but such as 
 were necessary to procure him posses- 
 sion of the crown. But this is a poor 
 apology, when it is confessed that he 
 was ready to commit the most horrid 
 crimes, which appeared necessary for 
 this purpose ; and it is certain that all 
 his courage and capacity, qualities in 
 which he really seems not to have 
 been delicient, would never have 
 made compensation to the people for 
 the danger of the precedent, and for 
 tiie contageous example of vice and 
 murder exalted upon the throne.
 
 302 Llterari/ Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 The bald-pated Welchman, and the Fly. 
 
 A SQUIRE of Wales, whose blood ran 
 
 higher. 
 Than that of any other squire; 
 Hasty and hot, whose peevish honour, 
 Revenged each slight was put upon hur; 
 Upon a mountain's to;) one day, 
 Expos'd to Sol's meridian ray ; 
 Hefom'd, he rav'd, he cursM, he swore, 
 Exhal'd a sea at ev'ry pore; 
 At last, such insults to tvaJe, 
 JSought the next tree's protecting shade ; 
 Where as he lay dissolved in sweat, 
 And wipM oiF many a rivulet ; 
 Olf in a pet the beaver flies, 
 And flaxen wig, time's best disguise : 
 By which, folks of mat urer ages, 
 Vie with smooth beaux, and ladies' pages; 
 Though 'twas a secret rarely known, 
 IH-natur'd age had cropp'd his crown ; 
 Grubb'd all the covert up, and now, 
 A large smooth plaiu extends his brow. 
 Thus as he lay with numskull bare. 
 And courted the refrr-shing air ; 
 New persecutions sf ill appear, 
 A noisy fly offends his ear. 
 Alas ! what man of parts and sense, 
 Could bear such vile impertinence? 
 Yet, so discourteous is our fate, 
 ¥noh always buz about the great; 
 Miis insert now, whoseactive spile, 
 Teased hiui with never-ceasing bite ; 
 ■With so much Judgment play'd his part, 
 Tip had him both in tierce and qniirt ; 
 In vain with open hands he tries, 
 To guard his ears, his nose, his eyes ; 
 For now at last, familiar grown, 
 Ueperch'd upon his worship's crown: 
 Wi»h teeth and claws his skin be tore, 
 And stufl''d himself with human gore; 
 At last, ill manners to excel, 
 lutruss'd a point, some authors tell. 
 Ejt now what rhetoric could assuage. 
 The furious squire, stark mad with rage? 
 Impatient at the foul disgrace, 
 Ironi insect of so mean a race; 
 And plotting vengeance on hfs foe, 
 %Vith double fist he aims a blow : 
 The nimble fly escap'd by flight, 
 And skipp'd fioni this unequal light ; 
 'I'h' impeudini; stroke with all its weight, 
 Fell ou his own beloved pate ; 
 Thus much he gaiu'J by this adventurous 
 
 deed) 
 Ilefoul'd Lis fingers, and he broke his head. 
 
 MORA!-. 
 
 LET senates hence learn to preserve 
 their state, 
 And scorn the fool below their grave debate 
 Who by the unequal strife grows popular 
 
 and great. 
 Tet hinj buz on, with senseless rant defy, 
 Ihe wise, the good ; yet still 'lis but a fly 
 
 •Vith pniij oesthe toil's not worth the cost 
 Vhere noth.ng can be gaiu'd, much may 
 
 be lost 
 et cranes and pigmies in mock war engage, 
 prey beneath the gen'rons eagles rage. 
 I rue honour o'er the clouds sublimely wings 
 Young Ammoa scorns to run with less thau 
 kings. 
 
 T/ie Elector Honored. 
 
 AN Englishman travelling through 
 Germ.mv, who, having presented 
 himself at the gale of a certain city, 
 V as desired, in ihc usual manner, to 
 (i(;scribe himself. " I am," said he, 
 '• an Elector of Middlesex." The 
 Germans, who hold the dignity of 
 Elector as next in rank to that of 
 King, and knew little or nothing of 
 the English titles and ranks, immedi- 
 iitely opened their gates, and the 
 guard turned out, and did him»2t7j- 
 iari/ honours ! 
 
 The Actors. 
 
 A SHABBY fellow chanc'd one day to meet 
 The British Roscius in the street, 
 
 (Garrick, of whom our nation justly 
 
 brags.; 
 The fellow hugg'd with a kind embrace— 
 
 " Good sir, I do not recollect yonr face, ' 
 Quoth Garrick. — " No!" replied the man 
 
 of rags: 
 " The boards of Drury you and I havp 
 
 trod 
 Full many a time together, I'm sure." — 
 " When ? " with an oath, cry'd Garrick, 
 
 " for by G — 
 I never saw that face of yonr's before! 
 
 What characters, I i)ray, 
 
 Hid you and 1 together play?" 
 " Lord !" quoth the fellow, " think not th:it 
 
 I raock — 
 When you play'd Hamlet, sir, — I play'd th* 
 
 cock." 
 
 Oil Six Sorts of People who, keep Faals, 
 
 THE mi^er fasts because be will not eat, 
 The poor man fasts because he has no meat ; 
 The rich man fasts with greedj mind to 
 
 spare. 
 The glutton fasts to eat tlie greater share; 
 The iiypocrite, he fasts to seem more holy, 
 Hie righteous uiaa, to punish sin and fully .
 
 Interesthu/ Narraflces, Enigmas, Epigramft, Poefrjf, S^c. 303 
 
 Anecdote of Dean Su-i/t. 
 
 AS Swift was fond of scenes in low 
 life, he missed no opportunity of beini; 
 present at them, when they fell in hi 
 way. Once w lien he was in the coun- 
 try, he received hitelligence that there 
 was to be a beggar's wedding; in the 
 neighbourhood. He was resolved not 
 to miss the opportunity of seeing so 
 curious a ceremony ; and that he 
 might see the wliole completely, pro 
 posed to Dr. Sheridan, th.it he should 
 go thither di>gu:sed as a blind fiddler, 
 with a bandage over his eyes, .and he 
 would attend him as his man to lead 
 him. Thus accoutred, they reached 
 the scene of action, when the blind 
 fiddler was received with shoutsof joy 
 They had plenty of meat and drink, 
 and plied the fiddler and his man with 
 more than was agreeable to them. 
 They sung, they danced, tolil their 
 stories, cracked jokes, &c. m a vein 
 of humour euterlaining to the two 
 guests. When they were about to de- 
 part, they pulled out their leather 
 pouches, and rewarded the fiddler very 
 handsomely. The next day the Dtai, 
 and the Doctor w-ilked out in their 
 usual dress, and found their com- 
 panions of the preceding evening, 
 scattered about on different parts of 
 the road, and the neighbouring village, 
 all begi^ing their charity in doleful 
 strains, and telling dism&l stories of 
 their distress. Among these they 
 found some uj)on crutche's, who had 
 danced very nimbly at the weddmg ; 
 others stone blind, who were |)erfecf !y 
 clear-sighted at the fea^t. The Doc- 
 tor distributed among them the money 
 he had received as his pay; but the 
 Dean, who mortally hated those 
 sturdy vagrants, rated them soundly 
 told them in what manner he ha-! 
 been present at the wedding, aud was 
 let into their roguery, and assured 
 theut, if tiey did not immediately 
 apply to honest labour, he would have 
 them taken up and seut to gaol. 
 
 Whereupon the lame once more re- 
 covered their legs, and the blind their 
 eyes, so as to make a very precipitate- 
 retreat. 
 
 Epigram, 
 
 WHAT legion? of fables and whim'ical «alr» 
 
 Pass current for gospel « here priestcraft 
 prevails! 
 
 Onr ancestors thus were most strangely de- 
 ceived, 
 
 What stories and nonsease for faith the) 
 believed ! 
 
 But we their wise sons, wuo these fable* 
 reject, 
 
 Even truth, now-a-days, are too apt to 
 suspect ; 
 
 From believing too much, the right faith 
 we let fall, 
 
 So now we believe, i' faith ! nothing at a!I» 
 
 Anecdote of a Country Curate. 
 
 A CLERGYMAN being one Frid^j 
 in Lent to exmnine his young Catechu- 
 mens, and the bel lolling for prayers, 
 he was obliged to leave a game of 
 AH- Fours unfinished, in which he had 
 the advantage ; but told his antagonists, 
 ne would soon dis{)atch his audience, 
 and see him out. — Now, for fear any 
 tricks should be played with his card* 
 in his absence, he put them in his 
 cassock ; and asking one of the chil- 
 dren how many commaiidmeuts there 
 were, which the !>■ y not readrly an- 
 ^werinj;, by accident oiip of the cards 
 dropped out of his sleeve. — He hnd 
 llie presence of iniud to bid the hoy 
 akeitup, and tell hint what card it 
 •vas, which he readily did; When- 
 liming to the parents of the child said, 
 ■' are you not ashamed to pav such 
 'ittle regard to the eternal welfare of 
 four children, as not to teach then^ 
 iheir commandments? I suspected 
 vour neglect, and brOMght this card 
 with me, to detect your immorality,, 
 ii teaching your children to kwovt 
 heir cards before their commaad- 
 aieuts,*'
 
 304 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Murder. — Hammersmith Ghost. 
 
 FRANCIS Smith was indicted toi 
 the wilful murder of Thomas JNlil- 
 wood, at Hammersmith, to which in- 
 dictment he pleaded " Not guilty." 
 
 The first witness called oa the 
 part of the prosecution, was John 
 Locke, Esq. who said he lived at Ham- 
 mersmith, and was a wine-merchant. 
 At half past ten o'clock, he was called 
 out, and met the prisoner, who in- 
 formed him, he had shot a man, 
 whom he believed to be the pretended 
 ghost of Hammersniilh. There had 
 been a rumour of such a ghost for 
 several weeks before. The watch- 
 man was, at that time in company 
 with the prisoner. The deceased had 
 no appearance whatever of life. He 
 appeared as if ke had been shot. — 
 The prisoner seemed much agitated, 
 and said it was a very dark night, he 
 did not know that the deceased was 
 the man he fired at. He said he had 
 spoken to him twice before he fired, 
 and received no answer. 
 
 The witness was cross-examined by 
 Mr. Const. He said that five weeks 
 previously, the neighbourhood of 
 Hammersmith was distiitbed with re- 
 ports of a ghost, and several parties 
 of young men used to go out at night 
 in search of the phantom ; but could 
 never find him. The dress of the de- 
 ceased, who was by trade a bricklayer 
 corresponded very much with the re- 
 ported appearance of the ghost. — 
 He had a white jacket and trowsers 
 on ; and the phantom was said to 
 have been dressed in white, and some- 
 times with a cah'-skin over him. The 
 "tvitness had known the prisoner very 
 %'e\\ : he was an ofiicer in the excise. 
 At the time in question, he wished 
 very much to surrender himself: but 
 the witness advised him to ^o home 
 to his lodgings. The prisoner was a 
 man of mild and humane disposition: 
 generally esteemed by every one in 
 the place. 
 
 William Girdler, the watchman, at 
 Hammersmith, said, he was wilh 
 Mr Locke, on the night in question, 
 and saw the deceased quite dead, 
 with a shot wound in his jaw. The 
 witness was at the White-Hart, at 
 Hammersmith, when the prisoner 
 came to him, and said he had hurt a 
 man, and, he was afraid very badly; 
 and desired the witness to go with 
 him, which he did They took the 
 deceased to a public-house. 
 
 The witness was cross examined by 
 Mr. Gurnty. He said he had often 
 heard of the rumour of a ghost hav- 
 ing haunted the neighbourhood, and 
 had seen it himself, the very Thurs- 
 day bel'ore this afiair happened. It 
 appeared as if it was covered with a 
 large sheet, or a table-cloth ; it was 
 near Beaver-lane, opposite the four 
 mile stone, where he saw it. The 
 witness pursued the figure, but it ran 
 away from him, and at the same time 
 ihrew the sheet oft" its head. For 
 near two months nefore this, the 
 neighbourhood was disturbed by the 
 rumour of this ghost ; ami these ru- 
 mours occasioned great trouble and 
 mischief in-the place. The prisoner, 
 he said, bore a very good character. 
 
 Ann Milwood was next examined ; 
 she was a decent looking young girl, 
 dressed in mourning. 
 
 She said she was sister to the de- 
 ceased ; that about ten or eleven 
 o'clock on the night in question, her 
 brother came into the house where he 
 lived, and was talking about going to 
 fetch home his wife, who had been 
 ■.orae distance of!" --He seemed to hes- 
 itate about going: and the witness 
 desired him to go for his wife. He 
 accordingly set out ; and in a few 
 minutes after he was gone the witness 
 heard a voice exclaim, " D — n you 
 who or what are you 1 " and at the 
 same instant she heard a gun go off. 
 She opened the door and called after 
 her brother, but received no answer. 
 She then told the people in the house,
 
 Jnterestififf Narratives^ Enigmas^ Epirfrani.'i, Pcetrif, S^c. 305 
 
 that -^he feared iier brother was killed, 
 and be(;>;ed they would assist her iii 
 going to searrh after him ; but they 
 took no notice of her, and would 
 not believe her suspicions. She then 
 said she woidd go out by herselt, it 
 it cost her her life. She went out 
 accordinnly, and met JNIr. Locke, 
 together with the watchman, and 
 found that her brother had been shot. 
 She did not know that any animositv 
 bad ever e\iste<l between the deceas- 
 ed and [irisoner. 
 
 Mr. Flower, a surgeon residini: at 
 Hammersmith, said, he examined 
 the body, when he observed a gun- 
 shot wound on the lower jaw; a 
 small shot of the size No. 4,. had 
 entered the vertebra of the neck, 
 and injured the spinal marrow ; it 
 was a mortal wound : the face was 
 black, which was caused by powder 
 from the gun: he had no doubt of 
 the wound being the cause of his 
 death. 
 
 The prisoner, when asked what he 
 had to say in his defence, at tirst 
 told the court he would leave his de- 
 fence to his counsel ; but being 
 informed by the judge that his coun- 
 sel could not speak for him, he said 
 that at the time he fired the shot, he 
 was so agitated that he did not know 
 >vhat he did. He had called out 
 twice to the figure that appeared to 
 be coming towards him, before he 
 fired, and he would then solemnly 
 declare before God, that he was 
 wholly innocent of having an inten- 
 tion to take away the life of the 
 deceased, or any other person what- 
 ever. 
 
 Phebe Pulbrook was then called 
 on the part of the defence. — She 
 recollected on the Saturday night 
 before he was shot, his having being 
 taken for the ghost. He said that 
 two ladies and a gentleman were 
 frightened at him as be was coming 
 along the terrace. They cried out, 
 **Ther» is the ghost!" and be;ng 
 
 vexed with them and using a had 
 word., replied that he was no more 
 a ghost than they weie, and asked 
 them if they wanted a punch on the 
 head. The witness, on heaii..i( the 
 deceased relate this story, and under- 
 standing the circumsjaiire was owing 
 to his white dress, advised him, when 
 he went out at night, to put a great 
 coat on, for fear he might meet witli 
 some misfortune. 
 
 Mr. Stowe, a gentleman living at 
 Ham:.4er<mith, said the prisoner had 
 the character of being a good and 
 humane man ; and five or six other 
 respectable persons gave him a simi- 
 lar character for humasiity and good 
 temper. 
 
 'i'he Lord Chief Baron began his 
 charge to the jrry, by observing, 
 that ia point of law character could 
 avail nothing, where such facts as 
 they had just heard stated, were 
 brought forward. He thought it his 
 bounden duty to lay it down to the 
 jury that nothing had been stated oa 
 the part of the defence, which could 
 lake it out of the legal definition of 
 murder. He thought it necessarv 
 to state to the jury, that although 
 malice was necessary to constitute 
 the crime of murder, yet it was not 
 necessary, according to law, to prove 
 that the person charged with murder 
 had known the deceased, or had 
 entertained any personal malice 
 against him. The general dispositioa 
 of a man might have had in his mind 
 to kill another was malice in pviini. of 
 law. If a man intending m'-chief, 
 should fire a gun into that ha!^ where 
 the court was then sitting, and kill 
 any body, at random, that was mur- 
 der; the man did the act with a 
 general malicious intenti n ; or, if a 
 man intending to kill one person, mis- 
 sed him, and killed ani ther, that was 
 muFder. On the same principle, the 
 killing of a person destq-mdly, with- 
 out any authority, but from a sup- 
 position that the person ought to 
 R f
 
 :o6 
 
 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events^ 
 
 be killed, vvas murder; unless the 
 killing was occasioned by accident, 
 or took place in consequence of some 
 strong provacalion, it could not come 
 under any other denomination excep( 
 that of murder. No man, from a 
 supposition that another had acted 
 wrong, could take the authority to 
 punish into his own hands. If a 
 man went out to shoot robbers on the 
 highway, and should take it into hi« 
 head, that somebody walking along 
 was a robber, and with that idea kill 
 him ; such killing, whether the man 
 was a robber or not was murder. In 
 the present case, it appeared that 
 some malicious and wicked person, 
 taking advantage of that credulity 
 which belonged to a great portion 
 ot mankind, had gone about at night, 
 and spread terror and unliappiness 
 throughout a whole neighbourhood. 
 Under such circumstance!*, no man 
 had a right to call that act a capital 
 offence, and to suppose he could be 
 justified in putting to death the per- 
 son who did that mischief, however 
 criminal such person might be. Even 
 it the very person appearing in this 
 manner as a ghost had been killed, 
 &uch killing was murder, But here 
 a man thought he had a right to go 
 and kill any person he saw in a light 
 coloured coat. This was actually the 
 case with the prisoner at the bar. 
 He went out with a loaded gun, in- 
 tending to kill contrary to law, and 
 killed a man who was perfectly inno- 
 cent. "Gentlemen," continued his 
 lordship, " I should be betraying my 
 duty as a judge, and acting contrary 
 to the opinion of my brother judges 
 near me, if \ did not tell you that 
 this act of the prisoner's, provided 
 you believe tbe facts given in evidence, 
 amounts to nothi?i<^ leM than min- 
 der," In this case there was no acci- 
 <lent; there was no sudden or violent 
 provocation; nor was there any 
 attempt made on the pait of the 
 prisoner to apprehend the supposed 
 
 ghost. But he went and thought 
 himself entitled to kill that person, 
 and with a degree of rashness which 
 the law would never allow, he killed 
 another person. It was his duty again 
 to state, that this oflence was murder. 
 The Jury returned for better thaia 
 an hour, and returned with a verdict 
 — Guilty of Manslaughter. The 
 Lord Chief Baron declared it as their 
 opinion, that such a verdict could not 
 be received. For if the Jury believed 
 the facts, they must find the prisoner 
 guilty of murder, or they must aqu.t 
 him. There was no one circumstance 
 belonging to the case which could 
 bring the oflence under the denomi- 
 nation of manslaughter. The jury 
 then consulted for about a minute in 
 the box, and pronounced a verdict — • 
 
 GUILTY OF MUllDEa. 
 
 The Lord Chiel Baron said, he 
 should report the case immediately. 
 
 The recorder then sentenced the 
 prisoner to be executed on theMonday 
 following; and his body to be dissected. 
 
 This was a most afTecting trial. The 
 prisoner, a young man, 2.9 years of age 
 was dressed in black, made a very 
 genteel appearance, and conducted 
 himself with the greatest propriety. 
 During the time he remained at the 
 bar, his countenance did not appear 
 to express much agitation until the 
 jury left the box. Upon the return 
 of the jury, he appeared still more 
 agitated ; and particularly so when he 
 was pronounced guilty of the murder. 
 While the awful sentence was passing 
 upon him by the recorder, he sup- 
 ported himself with difficult}, and was 
 led out of the dock by Mr. Kirbv's 
 assistant, overwhelnied with the hor- 
 rors of his situation. Mr. Dignuni, 
 of Drury-lane theatre, sat by him, 
 and was extremely affected ; he wept, 
 cjasped his hands together, and suf- 
 fereil the greatest agitation. Several 
 of his relations were also present, and 
 apparently in great distress. The 
 session house was crowded in every
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigra ms, Poetry, S;c. 
 
 307 
 
 part bv nine o'clock, and the yard 
 was filled with an anxious multitude, 
 all making inquiry, and interested in 
 iht fate of the prisoner. Upon the 
 whole, there never was witnessed a 
 greater degree of curiosity than, was 
 excited by this trial. 
 
 The Three Warnings. 
 
 THE tree of deepest root is found, 
 
 Least willing still to quit the ground ; 
 ' Tvraa therefore said by ancient sages, 
 
 That love of life increased with years, 
 .So much, ihat in our latter stages, 
 When oains grow sharp, »nd sickness rageg 
 The greatest love of life appears. 
 This great atTection to believe. 
 Which all confess, but few perceive; 
 If old assertions can't prevail, 
 Be pleased to hear a modern tale. 
 
 When sports went round, and all were gay 
 On neighbour Dobson's wedding-day ; 
 Death cali'd aside the jocund groom, 
 With him iBio another room ; 
 And looking grave—' You must,' says he, ^ 
 ' Quit your sweet bride, and come with me. 
 ' With you ! and qtiit my Susan's side ? 
 < With you? the hapless husband cried ; 
 ' Young as I am, 'tis monstrous hard ! 
 « Besides, in truth, I'm not prepared ; 
 '■ My thoughts on other matters go, 
 »This is my wedding night you know.' 
 What more he urged I have not heard, 
 His reasons could not well be stronger ; 
 So death the poor delinquent spar'd 
 And left to live a little longer, 
 Yet calling up a serious look, 
 His honr-glass trembled while he spoke— 
 ' Neighbour,' he said, farewell; no more 
 ' ShaU death disturb your mirthful hour; 
 ' And farther, to avoid all blame, 
 ' 0f cruelty upon my name; 
 ' To give you lime for preparation, 
 
 < And fit yon for your future station ; 
 
 < Three several warnings yon shall have, 
 ' Before your'e summon'd to the grave; 
 ' Willing for once I'll quit my prey, 
 
 ' And grant a kind reprieve; 
 ' In hopes you II have no more to say, 
 ' But, when 1 call again this way, 
 
 ' Weil pleased the world will leave.' 
 
 To these conditions both consented, 
 And parted perfectly contented. 
 
 What next the hero of our tale befel. 
 How long he lived, how wise, how well; 
 HovT roundly he pursued his course, 
 And smok'd his pipe, and strok'd his horse, 
 
 The willing muse shall tell ; 
 He chafTered then, he bought, he sold, 
 5k or once perceived his growing old, 
 
 Nor thought of death as near: 
 His friends not false, his wife no shrew, 
 Many bis gains, his children few. 
 
 He pass'd his hours in peace ; 
 But while he viewed his wealth increase, 
 While thus along life's dnsty road. 
 The beaten track content he trod. 
 Old time, whose haste no mortal spares, 
 Uncall'd, unheeded, unaware*. 
 Brought on his eightieth year. 
 And now, one night, in musing mood, 
 As all alone he sate; 
 Th' nnwelcome messenger of fate, 
 Once more before him stood ; 
 Halfkill'd with anger and surprise, 
 ' So soon returned ! old Dobson cries. 
 
 ' So soon, d'ye call it ' death replies ; 
 ' Surely, my friend, you're but in jest ! 
 
 ' Since I was here before, 
 ' 'Tis six-and-thirty years at least, 
 'And you are now fcmrscore.' 
 ♦ So much the worse,' the clown rejoin'd 
 ' To spare the aged would be kind, 
 ' However, see yonr search be legal, 
 ' And your authority— is't regal ? 
 < Else you are come on a fool's errand, 
 ' With but a secretary's warrant. 
 ' Besides, you promised me Three Warnings 
 ' Which I've look'd for nights and mornings 
 ' But for that loss of time and ease, 
 ' I can recover damages.' 
 
 ' I know,' cries death, that, at the best, 
 « 1 seldom am a welcome guest ; 
 ' But don't be captious, friend at least, 
 ' I little thought you'd still be able, 
 ' To stump about your farm and stable; 
 ' Your years have run to a great length, 
 ' 1 wish you joy, tho', of your strength 1' 
 
 ' Hold,' says the farmer, ' not so fast ! 
 ' I have been lame these four years past.* 
 
 < And no great wonder,' death replies, 
 ' However, yon still keep your eyes; 
 
 ' And sure to see one's loves and friends, 
 ' For legs and arms would make amends.' 
 
 < Perhaps,' says Dobsou, ' so it might, 
 ' But latterly I've lost my sight,' 
 
 ' This is a shocking story, faith; 
 < Yet there's some comfort still,' saysdealh; 
 'Each strives your sadness to amuse, 
 ' 1 warrant you hear all the news ;' 
 
 ' There's none,' cries he, and if there were, 
 ' I'm grown so deaf, I could not hear.' 
 
 ' Nay then !' ihe spectre stern rejoined, 
 ' These are unjustifiable yearnings; 
 
 « If you are lame, and deaf, and blind, 
 ' Youv'e had yonr three suflScient warnings 
 
 ' So come along, no more we'll part,. 
 He said, and touch'd him with his dart ; 
 And now, old Dobson turning pale. 
 Yields to his fate— so ends my tale. 
 
 Epitaph on Dr. Fuller. 
 
 HER5;lies FM//er'i earth, 
 R r 2
 
 308 Literary Curiosities^ Ejritaphs, Wonderful Eveuls^ 
 
 " ' " — ■ - 
 
 A curious Caune oj War 
 
 IN 100^, Some R'odenese soldiers 
 ran away with a bucket from a well 
 belonging to tli state of Bologna. 
 This i'Tipiement mifiht be worth a 
 shilling ; but it produced a quarrel, 
 which terminated in a loui^ and bloody 
 war. Henry, kinij of Sardinia, son 
 of the Emperor Henry II. assisted 
 the Modenese lo keep possession of 
 t' :» bucket, and in one of the battles 
 he was taken prisoner. His father the 
 emperor, ofi'ered a chain of gold that 
 would er-rircle Bologna, which is 
 seven miles in compass, for his son's 
 ransom, but in vaiu — after twenty-two 
 years imjaisonment, and his father 
 being dtad, he pintd away and died. 
 His monument is still extant in the 
 chmri, of the Dominicans. — Thisfatbl 
 bucket is still exhibited in the tower 
 of ihf cathedral of Modena, enclosed 
 in an iron cage. 
 
 On a Gamester. 
 HERE lies the body of Atl-Fourg, 
 ■WLolost his money, and pawn'd his clo&tbs ; 
 If tha( you want to krcw his name, 
 'lis Higlcat, Lotven', Jack, aud Game, 
 
 Cockney Pun. 
 
 TWO cockney f^emmen walking the 
 other day in the City-Road, observed 
 ojia window "lodgings to let;" when 
 one of them said, " 1 are a good 
 mind to take 'em'' " Vhat !" says the 
 other, " are you tired of yoi-r plesent 
 lodj^ings?" " no ; but ] thinks as how 
 that change of hair is 'ok&ome." — " I 
 suppose," replied the second, '• that 
 IS the reason vy so many people vear 
 ■i'is:s. 
 
 Epitaph at Walton, Surry. 
 
 ON DANIKL WEST, BAIiGEMAN. 
 
 HERE lies bargeman West, 
 
 Who wai none of <:. ebesi ; 
 
 In his y Ji.th be was wild, 
 
 And when old was a child ! 
 
 Feiufj dead at the last, 
 
 Desir'd old C'At/r<?nlogiTchJraaca8t. 
 
 Anecdote of Mr. Bensley ifie 
 Tragedian. 
 
 MR. BENSLEY, before he went on 
 the stage, was a captain in the arm}« 
 One day he met a Scotcli officer who 
 had been in the same regiment. The 
 latter was happy to meet an old mess- 
 mate ; but his Scotch blood made him 
 ashamed to be seen with a player ; he 
 therefore hurried Mr. Bensley into an 
 unfrequented cofl'ee-house, where he 
 asked him, " how could he disgrace 
 the corps t»y turning a play-actor r" j 
 Mr. Bensley replied, " thai he by no 
 means considered it in thnt light ; that 
 on the contrary, a respectable player, 
 who behaved with propriety, was 
 looKed upon in the best manner, and 
 kept th" company of the best people." 
 "And what, maun," said the other, j 
 •' do you get by this business of your'sT* 
 --" 1 now," answered Mr. B. " get 
 about a thousand a year." *' A thou- 
 sand a year 1" exclaimed Saunders, 
 astonished; "have you 07iy vacancies 
 in your corps." 
 
 A true aud faithful Inventory of theGaods 
 belonging to Dr. Swift, Vicar of Lara'- 
 cor ; upon lending his House to the 
 Bishop of Meath, till his Palace v:as 
 rc-built. 
 
 AN oaken, broken elbow chair, 
 
 A caudle-cnp without an ear; 
 
 A batter'd, shatter'd ash bedstead, 
 
 A box of deal, without a lid ; 
 
 A pair of tongs, but out of joint, 
 
 A back-8word poker, without point; 
 
 A pot that's craek'd across, around, 
 
 With an old knotted garter bound ; 
 
 An iron lock, withoutaUey, 
 
 A wig, with banging quite grown grey; 
 
 A curtain worn to half a stripe, 
 
 A pair of bellows without pipe; 
 
 A dish which might good meat afford once; 
 
 An Ovid, and au old Concordance; 
 
 A bottle-bottom, wooden platter, 
 
 One is for meal, and one for water ; 
 
 There likewise is a copper skillet. 
 
 Which runsas fast out as you fill it ; 
 
 A candlestick, snuff-dish, and save-all. 
 
 And thus his bonsehold goods you have all. 
 
 These te your Lordship, as a friend. 
 
 Till y«u have bnilt, I freely lend; 
 
 They'll serve your lordship for a shift. 
 
 Why not; as-welJ as Dr. Swift?
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas.) Epigrams, Poetry^ Sfc. 309 
 
 The Cards spiritualized. 
 ONE Richard Middletoii, a soldier, 
 atteiidiny divine service, with the rt^t 
 of the regiment, at a church iti Glas- 
 gow, instead ot pulling out ;; bible, 
 like his brotlier soldiers, ti» find the 
 parson's ttxf, s|)read a pack of car<li 
 before him. This singu'ar behaviour 
 did not long pass tmnoticeJ, botii by 
 the clergyman and the serjoanl of iht 
 company to wh.icii he belonged. The 
 latter in particular commanded him to 
 put up the cards, and on his refusal, 
 conducted him after ehnrch before the 
 major, to whom he preferred a formal 
 complamt of Richard's indecent beha- 
 viour during divine service. Well, 
 soldier, (said the mayor) wliat excuse 
 have you for this strange scandalnus 
 behaviour? If you can make nn apo- 
 logy, or assign any reason fr il, it is 
 well. If you cannot, assure youj self 
 that I will cause you to be severely 
 punished for it. .Since yolir honour 
 is so good (replied Richard) as to h t 
 me speak for myself, an't please your 
 worsiup, I hare been eight days upon 
 the march, with a bare allowance of 
 sixpence per day ; which your honour 
 will surely allow is hardly 3ufficieiit to 
 luaintain a m ui in meat, drink, wash- 
 ing, and other necessaries that he con- 
 sequently may want, without a bible, 
 prayer-book, or any other good book. 
 On haying this, Richard drew out bis 
 pack of cards, and presenting one oi 
 the aces to the mayor, continued his 
 address to the magistrate as follows : 
 When I see an ace, may it please 
 your honour, it reminds me that there 
 is only one God ; — and when I look 
 upon a two or three, the former 
 puts me in rniiid of the Father and 
 Son ; and the latter of the Father, 
 Son, and Holy Ghost. — A four, cali 
 to remembrance the four evangelists, 
 ^latthew, Mark, Luke, and John. — 
 A five, the five wise virgins, who 
 were ordered to trim their lamps; 
 there were ten, indeed, but five, your 
 
 worship may remember, were wise, 
 and five were foolish. — A six, that in 
 six days God created heaven and 
 <':<rth. — A seven, that on the seventU 
 (iHy !;e rested from all lie had made. — • 
 An eight, of the cu^ht righteous per ■ 
 <oiis o't served from the deluge ; 112. 
 >.oc.'i ar.ci Ms wife, with his three 
 sons and \*:t-.'- wi\'es. — A nine, of 
 t!; u-.ie iopers, cleansed by our 
 ba a>L" , th :it ^vtre te'i. but one only 
 retiirnpd tc* ot!"eihis*ribiite of thatiks. 
 — And a ten, of tiie ten conimand- 
 ;iieMts 
 
 Rhiiavd then took the knave, 
 pi; 'cd it beside him ; and passed on 
 to tii'e oueei'. )a which he observed 
 a:, f li*v\s: fhis queen reminds me 
 ot the queen of S' eba, « i^o 'sme 
 ficm tile V most pa;. 3 of the earth 
 to hear tlit wisdom of Solomon ; a? 
 l.fr compvi, !;:'■• the king does of the 
 iireat Ki ig cf heaven, anu oi king 
 Otorge tne second. 
 
 Well, returned tli.? ina' r, you have 
 given me a ver) good description of 
 all the cards except the knave. 
 
 If your honour will not be angry 
 with me, returned Richard, I can 
 give you the same satisfaction on that 
 as any in the pack? No, said the 
 mayor. Well, returned the soldier, 
 the greatest knave I know, is the 
 sergeant tii.^t brought me before you. 
 i don't know, replied the mayor, 
 whether he be the greatest knave or 
 no, but I am sure he is the greatest 
 fool. 
 
 The soldier then continued as fol- 
 lows : When I count the number of 
 dots in a pack of cards, there are 
 365 ; so many days are there in a 
 year — When I count how many cards 
 are in a pack, I find there are tifty- 
 two ; so many weeks are there in a 
 ye.ir. — When I reckon how many 
 tricks are won by a pack I find there 
 are thirteen; so many months are 
 there in a year.— So that this pack of 
 cards is both bible, almanack, and 
 prayer-book, to me.
 
 ■310 Literarii Curiosities, Epitoplis, llonderfid Events, 
 
 The mayor called his servants, 
 ordered them to entertain the soldier 
 well; gave him a piece of money, and 
 said, he was the cleverest fellow he 
 ever heard in his life. 
 
 The Priest and Ostler. 
 
 ONCE at gome holy lime, perhaps t'was 
 
 Lent, 
 An hotfest osfler to confei^fion went. 
 And thereof sins a long extended score, 
 Of TarJous shape and size, he mumbled o'ei ; 
 Till having clear'd his conscience of the 
 
 stnfl', 
 (For any moderate conscience quite enough) 
 He ceas'd. " What more r ' the reveteud 
 
 fatLer cried — 
 •' No more" — Ih' unhurtheu'd penitent re- 
 plied. 
 " But," said the artful priest, " yet unre- 
 
 veal'd, 
 " There lurks anc darling vice within your 
 
 thought conceai'd. 
 •' Did you, in all your various modes of 
 
 cheating, 
 " Ne'er grease the horses' teeth io spoil 
 
 their eating?'' 
 " Never," " cried Crop." So then to close 
 
 each strain. 
 He was absolv'd, and sent to sin again. 
 Some months from hence, sad stings of 
 
 conscience feeling, 
 Crop, at confessional, again was kneeling, 
 Whenlo! at every step his conscience easing 
 Oufpopp'da groan, and horses teeth und 
 
 greasing ; 
 " Sancti Maria !" cry 'd the astonish'd priest, 
 '• How much your sins have with your 
 
 days increas'd. 
 ♦= When last 1 saw you, you deny'd all 
 
 thfs," 
 *' True," said the ostler, very true it is, 
 " Andalsotrne, that, (ill that blessed time, 
 " I never, father, heard of snch a crime." 
 
 IVoman of Faskiori's Journal. 
 
 DREAMED of the captain— cer- 
 tainly a fine iiiini — counted my card 
 money — lost considerably — never play 
 again with the dowager — breakfasted 
 at two, my new maid too handsome — 
 remember to part with her— sent cards 
 of compliments to tlie two Miss Crot- 
 chets and Lady Diinder — my lap-dog 
 Sophy unwell — apjireliensive the poor 
 :n)imal is crossed in love — a sad thing 
 I know by experience— The man from 
 
 Vickery"s called with my new wig — ■ 
 very becoming, but somehow it has 
 not the elegant air of that purchased 
 by Miss Twi'^'g, in Si. James's-atreet 
 — could not dre:s niyse'f to my salis- 
 faction — Jt-nny abomin-jbly awkward, 
 shall certainly part with her — my 
 head continually running on tiie Cap- 
 tain — buy no nic-e rous;€ in the city, 
 might as well use brick-dust — never 
 can sonie these feathers to my liking 
 — *' Can ! e'er cease to love thee ? ah ! 
 no, my love, no!" — ach;;rn!ing air 
 liiat— remember to get n?y piano-forte 
 in order against ihe next evening con- 
 cert — read two chapters in the new 
 novel of Innocent Adulffri/, and 
 l)atl of the Monk — Mr. Lewis is a 
 delightful writer, so chaste and so 
 mornl — remember to inquire for the 
 Tales of JVonder—louuged at the 
 musical library — bespoke new dress 
 — ate some ice in Bond-street — flon't 
 like lady Mazey'snew chariot — dined 
 at lady Rackott's— the captain there 
 
 — more than usually agreeable — went 
 to the opera — the captain of the 
 parly — house prodigiously crowded 
 — my ci-de-rent husband in the oppo- 
 site box with a lady — rather mal-a- 
 propos ; but no matter, telle chose sont 
 — looked into lady Squander's rout 
 
 — positively a mob — very right in 
 engaging Townsend — remember to 
 bespeak him for my next concert — 
 sat down to cards — in great luck — 
 won a cool hundred of my lord 
 Lackwit, and fifty of the baron— 
 lelnrned home at five in the morning 
 — indulged in half an hour's reflection 
 
 — resolved on leformation, and to 
 erase my name from the fashionable 
 institution. 
 
 Epitai)h on a Lawyer. 
 
 }UQ .TACET, JACOBttS StBAW, 
 
 Who forty years followed the law; 
 When he died. 
 The devil cried, 
 James, give us your paw^
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, 8;c. 113 
 
 Curious Mistake. 
 
 A CURIOUS mistake occurred at 
 !Mr. K.'s levee some lijne since ii^ 
 CoveiU-Gardeii. A gentleman \va'. 
 shewn into hi- pretence, wliose object 
 Avas to treat about an engagement for 
 liis dauizliler; but as about this hour 
 a horse-draler had been appointed to 
 c;ili, the Manager, \those head run 
 ■?c-ry much at present upon his >>tud, 
 mistook one for die other, and her'an 
 byabkin^the father of MelpomeJie — 
 "Ilow old is she?" — Sixteen last 
 Mav, sM' — " O she% aged then, ami 
 won't do for the hard work : pray is 
 she quiet ?" — "Perfectly, I never 
 knew a gentler creatiire." — " Has she 
 
 been long in town?" "I only 
 
 broui^ht her up a week ago from Eas-t 
 Grinstead." — ''Well, if your terms 
 are m.oderate, I dare say we shall not 
 differ." — " Sir, that I leave entirely to 
 yourself: she is below, shall I bring 
 her up to you?" — "Bring her up! 
 Oh no, give her to my groom, he'll 
 put her into a stall, till I come down 
 to look at her." — '• Into a stall, Eir !" 
 " Yes, sir, into a stall to be sure."— - 
 " Sir, do you mean to affiont me ?" — 
 *' Sir, I beg ten thousand pardons, 
 you come you say, from the Cumber- 
 land Mews ?" — " No, I came from 
 East Grinstead." — "With a mare?" 
 — " No, with my daughter." — '^ Got 
 by Scryscraper out of Andromache?" 
 " No, she is the first born of my own 
 and my ever-lamented wife, Mary 
 Muggins." 
 
 CO 
 
 Wager. 
 
 A CURIOUS wager was decided 
 lately at Buxton causeway. A person 
 undertook, for something considerable 
 to draw a weight of seven pounds to 
 liim, which was fastened to the end of 
 a rope a aiile in length. This, which 
 was looked on as a singular feat of 
 strength, was performed with seemmg 
 ease by the undertaker, and much 
 money depended on the event of it. 
 
 A remarkable instance of ingenious 
 Cont) ivance in an insane Patient, 
 
 A GENTLEMAN some time since 
 who being denied the use of pen, ink 
 and paper, had recourse to the follow- 
 ing means for the accomplishment of 
 his wish of sending a letter to the editor 
 of a certain provincial paper, offering 
 himself a candidate for a seat in Par- 
 liament ; he tore out a blank leaf from 
 a large bible, made a pen with a straw 
 by means of a bit of glass, ink from 
 a solution of soot in cherry juice, and 
 wafer tfouj chewed bread, which last 
 ijeing nearly managed received an ac- 
 curate impre-sion of the family arms 
 from his seal. The letter thus pre- 
 pared he got conveyed to the neigh- 
 bouring post-office by means of an 
 orange-girl to whom he presented it 
 with a shilling, inclosed in a cover on 
 which was written " to be put into the 
 post-oiiice immediately," and this he 
 effected while his servant was buying 
 fruit at his elbow. 
 
 The Faithful Dog. 
 
 AT the seat of the late Earl of 
 Litchfield, three miles from Blenheim, 
 there is a portrait in the dining-rooni 
 of Sir Henry Lee, by Johnston, with 
 the mastiff-dog who saved his life. 
 It seems a servant had formed the 
 design of assassinating his master, and 
 robbing the house, but the night he 
 had fixed on, the dog, which had 
 never been much noticed by Sir Henry, 
 for the first time, followed him up 
 stairs, got under the bed, and couid 
 not be got from thence by either mas- 
 ter or man. In the dead of the night, 
 the servant entered the room to exe- 
 cute his horrid design, but was in- 
 stantly seUed by the dog, and being 
 secured, confessed all his intentions, 
 Theje are ten quaint lines in one cor- 
 ner of the picture, which conclude 
 thus: 
 
 But in my dog, whereof I made no store : 
 I find aiure love, tlian those 1 trusted mare.
 
 312 Literary Cxrlosifies, Epiftiphx, Jl'omlerful Events, 
 
 I^enr^ FIT. 
 
 THE reign of Henry VH. was in 
 the main fortii'^ate for his people at 
 home and honourable abroad. He 
 put ftn e«d to tlie nvil wars with which 
 the nation had long been liarrassed; 
 he mahitained peace ai !i O'c't^r "n tbr 
 state; le depressed the former ex- 
 orbitant power f the nobility ; and, 
 to<;e'her with 'rie friendship of some 
 foreijjn princes, he acquired the consi- 
 deration :.p'! regard of ;.1I. 
 
 He loved pc?.ce, Tvithout fearing 
 war; though jgiidted uitl: continui.1 
 susj)ie;on.s of his servants and minis- 
 ters, he discovered no timidiiv, citner 
 in the con-^uct of his affairs, or in ihe 
 flay of battle ; utu\, though often se- 
 vere in his punishments, he was com- 
 iTionly less actuated by revenge than 
 by maxims of policy. 
 
 His capacity was excellent, but 
 somewhat contracted by the narrow- 
 ness of his ht-art ; he possessed insinua- 
 tion and iiddrcis, but never employed 
 these ialents, except where some great 
 pcirt )f interest was to be gained ; 
 and while he neglected to Ccncili*<ie 
 tilt aficclions of his peop'e, he often 
 felt the danger of resting his autho- 
 rity on th'jir fear and reverence alone. 
 He was always extremely attentive to 
 his atiairs ; but possessed not tl.e 
 faculty of seeing far into futurity ; ;;nd 
 and was more expert at providing 
 a remedy for his mistakes than judi- 
 cious in avoiding ihem. Avarice was 
 on the whole his rnling passion ; and 
 he remains an instance, almost sin- 
 gular, of a man placed in a high 
 station, and possessed of talents for 
 great affairs, in whom that passion 
 predominated above ambition. Even 
 among private persons avarice is com- 
 monly nothing but a species of am- 
 bition, and his chiefly incited by the 
 prospect of that regard, distinction, 
 and coHsideration, which attend on 
 riches. He died April the l?th, 
 1509, aged 5*2, having reigned 23 
 
 ITie Man Milliner. 
 
 WHOE'ER his bead bj any chance sflonid 
 
 pop, 
 Within tbo precincts of a modish shop; 
 lu wh<'=e oay windovrs every thin^ appears 
 Of decking finery that a wom..n wears; 
 Fiad an automaton in shape of man, 
 Present a aeciilpce, or display a fan! 
 Powder'd and peiTiim'd, see the creatnre 
 
 !<tall[. 
 Smirk like a lady, delicately talk ; 
 Choose out a head-dress, praise lac'd ebifts 
 
 tosin iD; 
 Or descant on the prettiest bahy-Iinen ; 
 Conimer J the mnslin drawers, or advise, 
 J'be pillowy f.h;:|)e to swell the female size. 
 Vise, women, rise! unto yourselves be 
 
 just, 
 And tread inch he-.she beings inte dust ; 
 W!:ile lliese coBsume what ought to be yonr 
 
 bread, 
 What lovely thousands mnst on shame be 
 
 fed; 
 Base slave, be gone! no woman's birthright 
 
 spoil. 
 Resume your manhood by some manly toil ; 
 Nor meanly rifle those whom nature gave, 
 bias's heart to succour and his streogtb to 
 
 save. ■ 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 IT came to the knowledge of the 
 King of Prussia that a corporal of his 
 regiment, a tine young fellow, wore 
 a watch chain suspended from a leaden 
 hall, merely from a wish to appear of 
 consequence. Erederic wishing to be 
 convinced of the matter, accobtcd the 
 corporal one day on the parade. "Ah 
 coiporal!" said he, " you must be a 
 prudent fellow, to have saved a watch 
 out of your pay." " I flatter myself 
 that I am brave. Sire!" replied the man, 
 " the watch is of lillle consequence." 
 The kirig, taking out a watch set with 
 diamonds, said — " My watch points ^( 
 five— how much isyour'sl" Shame and 
 confusion at first appeared in the cor- 
 loral's face: At length he pulled out 
 his bullet, and answered with a firm 
 voice, " my watch, Sire, neither 
 I hews five nor six, but it tells me that 
 I ought to be ready, at every hour, 
 to die for your majesty !" the king 
 replied, *' In order that you may daily 
 see one of those hours at which you 
 arc to die for me, take this watch."
 
 interesting Narratives^ Enigmas^ Epigrams, Poetry, S^c. 3J3 
 
 I 
 
 Jhe/o'Iowit/^ wJiimsical Story appears 
 in the Life of Lee Lewis. 
 LINNET, while at Haramer 
 smitb with his company, expressed 
 a desire to play at Chelsea, but wa-^ 
 informed that it was under the con- 
 troul of a very inflexible magistrate, 
 particularly averse to giving any en- 
 couragement to plays or other 
 amusements. However, notwiihstanct- 
 ing this seeming insurmountable diffi- 
 culty, Linnet met with a friend, a 
 gentleman, who wrote a warm lecom- 
 mendatory letter for him to the obdu- 
 rate magistrate, and gave him as- 
 surance of his nieetmg with success. 
 With this encouragement Linnet bold- 
 ly pushed to the justice's-house, 
 directiiig his whole company to pro- 
 ceed to Chelsea, and onler a dinner 
 at the swan, and regale themselves ; 
 this mandate was cheerfully complied 
 with, and the eventful letter was de- 
 livered according to direction. But 
 what was the purport of tliis letter? 
 Instead of thut which should secure a 
 welcome and support, it was one that 
 menaced the reader with a sudden 
 scene of horror. 'Tis proper to ex- 
 plain. 
 
 Then thus it was:— the comedy 
 of the bold stroke for a wife had been 
 plaved a few nights before, and old 
 Linnet, on this occasion, resolving 'O 
 make a grand appearance, iiad put on 
 the stage-waistcoat he had worn in the 
 colonel, in one of the pockets of which 
 Was a letter supposed to be sent by 
 the colonel's friend to Obadiah Prim, 
 upon hearing that the real Simon Pure 
 was actually corae, which if not time- 
 ly prevented, must ruin the colonel's 
 design upon the cautious quaker 
 Judge of the magistrate's su'pri'-e on 
 opening the su{>posed letter of recom- 
 mendation, when he found it began 
 thus: 
 
 There is a den^n to rob the house 
 and cut your throat.— Thi^ justice 
 Tang the beil—a servant appeared- 
 • Where is the raaij that brought this 
 
 letter ?'--' In the hall, sir,'—' Call him- 
 up directly.' While the servant was 
 employed in going to fetch up the un- 
 conscious culprit, old quorum read 
 on-- 
 
 T/ie gansc, whereof 1 am one, 
 though now resolved to rob no more — 
 (here old Linnet made his appearance) 
 ' \Vell friend,' says the justice, 'you 
 belong to a gang,' * how many are 
 there of you ?'--' We are fourteen in 
 all, sir,'"* fourteen!' and where are 
 you all ?'— 'at Tool's,* sir—at the swan 
 --•Indeed! Oh, very well, you have 
 ill! \our tools at the swan, have you? 
 I'll take care of you and your tools 
 presently.'— 'many thanks to you sir; 
 squire— told us you would encourage 
 us.'—* Aye, was it he sent you to my 
 house !'— * us, iir'--' well, and when do 
 you intend to begin this grand affair 1 
 —we always begin about seven o'clock 
 sir.'--' you do!'— here Thomas, here, 
 seize this daring hardened old villain ; 
 he and his whole gang are coming to 
 rob and murder my family this night, 
 and uli their horrid tools are at the 
 swan pubiic-house !'--'! did not thii^lc 
 (his of vnu,' (says the servant to Lin- 
 net.)—' What, do you know the fellow, 
 sirrah ?'— ' yes sir, he is master of the 
 play.'—' .\ player? and are not you an 
 open and avowed murderer ?'--* O 
 lord, sir, what do you mean ?'--' look 
 at this letter, you hang-dog ! — did 
 you not deliver this to me ]'— who can 
 describe the iiuiocent Linnet's astonislr- 
 iiient upon the discovery of his mis* 
 take?--' oh, dear sir, I beg your par- 
 don, here's squire -~'s letter, I 
 
 hope this will satisfy you,'—* hold hini 
 'till I see what's here.' On the peru- 
 sal of the real letter, his worship's 
 countenance was changed from a sa- 
 vage ferocity to a more placid smile. 
 He immediately dismissed the inno- 
 cent aggressor, with a full permission 
 of hi.s performing— with this piece of 
 wholesome advice— never to forget iiis 
 part again. 
 
 •The then keeper of the Swan. 
 S i
 
 .311 L'lterrtry Curiosiiics^ Epitaplis, li ond erf at E rents ^ 
 
 The CiTs Country Box. 
 
 TIIE ;\c-.»!th?- cit, grovrn old ia trade,. 
 Now %\it;hes for Ihe rwral shade, 
 And 1)11 cities (o hi« oiie-liorpe chair 
 Old Dobliin, or the foundered inarf ^ 
 V,'!iil(>. wed^'d in clo-elv by hfs side^ 
 FJIs Ifadani, l:is urt\vi€)dy l)i'ide, 
 With jacky nn a slcol b^foi-e 'om, 
 -And out f'hey ,\o^ in due decorum. 
 Sc;trte pn-'^^t (fie turnpike half a mila. 
 
 * How all ll:y country sf^ni-to smile!' 
 And asthry .slowly Jofj,' toffetlier, 
 
 Tlic rit commends tlii; road and weather 
 While MadrtDi doals upon the trees, 
 And longs for ev'ry housje t>he sees ; 
 ^^duiires its views, its sitnatioo, 
 And thn'"' she opens her oration: 
 
 ' ^Thal •sijjnifici the loids of wc?JtI>, 
 
 * Wilbont that richest jewel health ? 
 ' Excnse the fondness of a wife, 
 
 * Who doxts upon your pi eciofi.s life ! 
 
 ' Such ceai-o!ess toil, such constant cars, 
 
 ' Is more than hniT^an strengjth casi bear: 
 
 ' One may o!)«erve it in your face — 
 
 ' Tndeed, v>.y dear, you hreah ajsace: 
 
 ' And nrdhingf can your health repair^, 
 
 ' Bat tixeiciBe. and country air. 
 
 ' Sir Trafflck has a Iioiise, yon koow, 
 
 * Alioiit a mile from C'hoiiry-ri"iw: 
 
 ' He's a good man, indeed. 'twifrHe; 
 ' Ent iTot .to warm, my dear, as yort : 
 
 * And foUiHRre al'^ays apt lo WRey — 
 
 ' One would not he out-done, my dear!' 
 
 J'if TraHlck's name fo well applied, 
 Awak'd his brother mcrfbartt's pride ; 
 And Thrifty, wlio had all his life 
 Paid Dtmo'^t defe.'ence fo l7i.« wife, 
 Confes<('d her argumciits had reason ;^ 
 And by Ify' approaching summer season 
 Draws a few hundred from the stocks, 
 And purchases hi? Country Box. 
 
 Somn three or fonr miles out of lorvu 
 An bout's ride will brin^ you down ; 
 He fixes on his choice abode, 
 Not half a fntlor,^ from the road; 
 And HO con\(nient does it lay. 
 The slaves pagjitevVy day; 
 And then so snDg, -o mighty pretty, 
 To have a house so ne.ir the city ! 
 Take but your place.-' at tne Boar, 
 YonVe set down at the very door. 
 
 Well then, .suppofjp th(!m jlx'd nt last, 
 V/hite-washinsf, painting', sciirbbiijfjp-ist 
 ITns5in,s^them.>ielvcsinea.=e and clover, 
 Wilh all the fuss of niovino^over; 
 Lo, a new heap o/ whims are bred, 
 And wanton in my lady's head! 
 
 ' Well; tobe.snre, it must beown'd, 
 < It is a cbarminfc 'pot of ground ; 
 
 * i'o ,swp«'t a distance for a ride, 
 ' And all about so countryfied ; 
 
 ' 'Twonid come but to a trilling price 
 ' To Hiake it quite a paradise 1 
 
 ' I cannot bear those nasty rails, 
 
 ' Those nj;ly, broken, mouldy pales; 
 
 « SHi>pos«, my dear, instead ofthese, 
 
 ' We build a railing all Chinese; 
 
 ' Altho' one hates to be expos'd, 
 
 ' 'Tis dismal to be thus inclos'd s 
 
 ' One iiardly any object sees— 
 
 ' I wish you'd fell those odious tree?. 
 
 ' Objects continually passing by, 
 
 * Were someiliini^to aurise the eye, 
 
 ' But to ba pent wiliiin the M-alls, 
 
 ' One niij:jht as well beat .St- Paul's. 
 
 ' Our ho!!5e i)eholdcrs would adore, 
 
 ' Wan there a level lawn before, 
 
 ' Nothing its views to incommotte, 
 
 ' Pit quite laid open to the road ; 
 
 ' While ev'i-y traveller, in amaze, 
 
 ' Should on onr little mansion gaze: 
 
 ' And pointing to the choice retreat, 
 
 < Cry, '< That Sir Thrifty 's coHutry-scat* 
 
 No doubt her argnments prevail, 
 For Jladam's iaste can never fail. 
 
 Blest age ! when all men may procur*? 
 The title of a connoisseur; 
 When noble and ignoble herd 
 Are govern'J by a single word ; 
 Tho', like the royal German dames, 
 It bears an hundred Christian names— 
 As genius, fancy, judgment, gout'. 
 Whim, Caprice, Jt ne seat niioi , Virtuf 
 Which appellations all describe 
 Taste, and the modern tasteful tribe. 
 
 Now bricklayers, carpenters and joiner?. 
 With Chinese artists and designers, 
 PrtHluce their .'scheme.s~ofal(eralion, 
 To work this wondrous reformatiow. 
 The useful dome, which secret stood, 
 Embosom'd in the yew trees wood, 
 The traveller with aniaaementseJ* 
 A templs Gothic or Chinese, 
 With many » bell and tawdry rag> n 
 And crested with a sprawling dragon ; 
 A wooden arch is bent aside 
 A ditch of water, four feet wide. 
 With angles, curves, and zig-zag line*. 
 From Halfpenny's exact designs : 
 In front a level fawn is seen. 
 Without a shrub upon the green ; 
 Where taste would want its first great 3aW/ 
 But for the skulking fly, ha-ha ; 
 Iiv whose miraculous assis'ancf , 
 You gain a jjrospecttwo fields distance. 
 I And now from Hyde-park Corner come 
 I The gods of Athens aud of Rome, 
 
 Here squabby cupids take their places. 
 ! Wilh Venus, and the clumsy graces ; 
 I Apollo tbere, with aim so clever, 
 Stretches his leaden bow forever; 
 And there, without the power to fly. 
 Stands iix'd a tip toe Mercury. 
 
 The villa thus completely grac'd, 
 A;I own'd that Thrify hasataste; 
 And Madam's female friends and consiaf,. 
 With comniop-council men, by dozens, 
 FbH-k every sunday to the seat, 
 To stare about theai, audio cat.
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enifjmas, Epigrams, Poetn/, ^-e. 315 
 
 Loic in a Fish-Pond. 
 
 A VERY ludicrous occurrence took 
 place in the neigh boui hood of Black- 
 heath :— 'I'wovoiing ladies, the daugh- 
 ters of very wealthy gentlemin liavf 
 been accustomed for several moiiths 
 past, to take their evenino's walk to- 
 gether on the ^l(!e of the heath, and 
 of late have been freq'ienily accosted 
 by two London «ipaiks, who have pur- 
 posely crossed them in their prome- 
 nade, and endeavoured by tiie aid of 
 a very fash'ionnbk txlcrior, and many 
 obliging civilities to recommend them- 
 selves to their notice. Encouraged 
 by a polite reception, they were in- 
 duced, about a week since, to make 
 an open declaration of their afferiion, 
 and to enlitiit they may be permitted 
 to bieak (he ah'ai; to the ladies' friends. 
 Already tired ot iheir itisi[iid persecu- 
 tion, and with a view to punish their 
 vanity, the ladies seemingly assented 
 to tlic proposal, and one evening last 
 week was appuinied for the wished-for 
 inteiview. As it would be near eight 
 o'clock before the parlies could arrive 
 from town, that time was fixed ; the 
 ladies were to meet them at the end 
 of the pleasure-ground, the nighi 
 being moon-Ught, and were to intro- 
 duce them to their parents. The 
 countbig-home fops, were transported 
 with their good furiune, and liavino 
 dressed themselves for the occasion, 
 repaired to the appointed spot, pre- 
 cisely to the monicrtt fixed upon, re- 
 membering that he who can break his 
 promise to his mistress, even in the 
 sixtieth part of a minute, may have 
 leve playing in his imagination, but 
 it can never have entered his heart. 
 After waiting a short time, a servant 
 in livery came running to them, and 
 having inquired their names, tohl 
 them that his young mistress was 
 fearful of the damps, but was waiting 
 at some distance with her female friend, 
 adding, that if the gentlemen would 
 suffer themselves to be blinded, he 
 would conduct them to the ladies' pre- 
 
 sence. --6//??</ef//" exclaimed the fop <i, 
 " where the devil's the necessity of 
 that ?" " Such are my orders," r,e- 
 piied the servant, *' and if you are, 
 not willing to conform to them, I shall 
 lake my leave." "Well well," rejoined 
 the former, " (>niy briiig us in fcafety ' 
 to ihe ladies, and their orders, e.xtra- 
 o! dinar V a? they seem, shall be com- 
 plied with." The fops then lied their 
 liandkercliic'fs over their eyes, and 
 proceeilcd into the jjltaswe-grounda 
 "iih the servant, but had not gone 
 far, before they suddenlv stepfjed no 
 to their middle in a fish-pond. At 
 the same instant a loud laugh was 
 heard, and before they tould extricate 
 (hemseives, and pull the bandage from 
 their eyes, their faithless guide had 
 decamped, and no traces of his flight 
 could be perceived. Their love was 
 l)y this time sufhciently cooled and 
 they began to see the trick that had 
 been played them, so that having bit- 
 terly njveighed against the whole sex, 
 and vowed revenge against ihe author, 
 of their mischance, they repaired to 
 a public-house in the neighbourhood 
 of Lewisham, where they obtained a 
 change ofcloathing, and endeavour- 
 ed to console each other for the loss of 
 wealth and beauty they had hoped to 
 possess. This circumstance h-is oc- 
 casioned a great deal of niirth among 
 the friends of the parties, and the 
 young forliinc-liunftrs have confined 
 themselves to their counting-houses 
 in the borou"h ever since. 
 
 Epifiram. 
 
 ins last great debt is paid — poor Tom's no 
 
 more, 
 Last debt I Tom never paid a debt before. 
 
 A Margate Toast. 
 
 WE have often heard of a toast given 
 at the mansion-house, last war, "a 
 speedy peace and toon." We are now 
 told of a popular toa.st at Margate, 
 " Success to the British arms uU over 
 the world, and evrry where else," 
 s s 2
 
 816 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events, 
 
 Cooke and Jncledon. 
 IT is re!ate(i of Coeke, that spend- 
 ing an evening at a (avern, and bein<i 
 rather, hotv come you so, but quite 
 full of mirth, Mr Incledon canu' in 
 with an intention of sleeping there, 
 when our her(» railed upon him tosioi; 
 ** the Storm!" but who refused, it 
 being very late, and retired to bed ; 
 where he had not been long, before 
 Cooke enquired of the master and 
 waiters if they knew that man uho 
 sal down in the box with him? they 
 answered, "Mr. Incledon."—" It 
 is no such thing, its some vile impos- 
 tor, lie has stole ray watch and 
 notes ; and I insist on some officers 
 being called in, that we may search 
 him," cries Cooke. In vain all ex- 
 })0stulated ; and at length the guardi- 
 ans of the night were called in, when 
 ihey ascended up to Incledon's 
 chamber, with Cooke at their head. 
 Charley was now roused out of his 
 iirst sleep, and briefly enquired wha* 
 they wanted ? Cooke persistmg that 
 was the man who had got the Jiotes ; 
 observing at the same time, "if iH 
 Incledon, he can sing the Storm: let 
 nie hear this man sing that song, and 
 I'll be convinced of my error." 
 Charley now perceived the drift of 
 the joke, without further preface, 
 addressing himself to Cocke, struck 
 up — *' Cease rude Boreas," ^c. 
 
 An Epigram. 
 
 POOR Pel or vias hiOTags'd by fever and 
 gout, ^ 
 
 Attended with (erril)le pain ; 
 Fnll long had he wisl.'d arid expected relief, 
 
 But his hopes prov'd delusive and vain; 
 
 His friends came to sea him, they pitied 
 his case, 
 Andadvis'd him toi^eDd, with all speed, 
 For the Doctor to come, whose assistance 
 they thought, 
 Might iijford him some help in hi« need. 
 
 By no means, says Peter, it mnst not i)e so, 
 For I am resoiv'd, whilst 1 have breath; 
 
 (Tho' pains and diseases may torture my 
 frame,) 
 Stiij to wait for a natural death. ' 
 
 An Irish Question. 
 
 AN Irieh sailor on board one of the 
 king's ships at Portsmouth, who was 
 a servant to one of the lieutetants, 
 a countryman of iiis, carrving his 
 master's tea kettle very cars iessly in 
 iiis hand to get it tilled with water, 
 lit it fall overboard, and it immedi- 
 ately sunk. Dreading the con- 
 sequences, after scratching his head 
 for a few seconds of time, he went 
 to the lieutenar.t, and pulling off his 
 dutih-cap, addressed him thus: 
 'Arrah, sir, I'd be after askfng vou 
 a question, if you plase.' * What i« 
 it ? replied the olher. ' Pray now, if 
 a man knows where a thing is, can he 
 say that he's lost it ?' 'No, Murphy,' 
 said the I'eutenant. " Then by 
 
 J s, sir, your tea-kettle's at the 
 
 bottom of the sea." 
 
 A sublime Sonnet. 
 
 I'VE beard the tempe«t howl and roar, 
 The thnnderroll its peels on high ; 
 
 I've heard the viaves dash on the shore. 
 The angry lion's horrid cry ; 
 
 I've heard (he patriot's awful voice. 
 Strong as a boundless river's course: 
 
 I've hfard the battle's furious din, 
 The warrior, in his boiling ire, 
 IHs eyes emitting lambent iire. 
 
 His prayer to angry heaven preforr'd ! 
 
 I've heard where other folks have been. — 
 
 God bless me! what a deal Vve heard ! 
 
 I\ewspaper Readers. 
 
 SIIENSTOlsr:, the poet, divides 
 the readers of a newspaper into the 
 foliowing general classes: — The ill- 
 natured man looks to the list of bank- 
 rupts ; the tradesman to the price of 
 bread ; the stock-jobber to the lie of 
 the dav; the old maid to marriages; 
 the prodigal son to death ; the mono- 
 polist to the hopes of a wet harvest; 
 and the boarding-school misses to 
 every thing relating to Gretna -green ! 
 
 Medical Notice. 
 A COUNTRY apothecary has written over 
 his door, , 
 
 'All sorts ofdrugs and </yf?7ff stuffs sold here.
 
 Interest hg Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, ^c. 317 
 
 The bashful Bridegroom. 
 SOME tune since a wcdrlint; was to 
 have taken plare between a \nnni; 
 couple belonging to tfie neifihbouriioofi 
 of Merthyr Tidvil, S^oiith-Wales. u.'i 
 consirlernb!e preparations were made 
 to regale the coin|tniiy assembled ow 
 ihe occasion. At the apjxiinted hmi 
 the intemled bride made her appear- 
 ance, arrayed inlierbt>t ap[><iroi, and 
 her t'riends w< re waiting to aceonipa' y 
 her to the altar ; but alas! the bri le- 
 {^room was not to be found After a 
 considerable time had be.»!i spent >i. 
 search, the happy man WoS discovered 
 jiid in a rick, and on being roused 
 from his cover, he slu ik iionie and 
 retired to bed, Cf^niplHinii.g of indi - 
 position, and that his sist.-r had taken 
 away his cloaths. Oii the following 
 niornins, however, the tiiuid youth 
 was sutiiciently recovered to resume , 
 his da 'y labour; on his appearance i 
 at whiclj he was cheered by the loud j 
 huzzis of a nnniorous concourse of I 
 young women, who had assembled to 
 chastise tiie culprit for his faithless ' 
 conduct. After dragging him from 
 the work-shop, and giving liim a com- 
 plete coat of tar, they thickly studded 
 him with feathers, mounted inm on a 
 flank, and carried him to tlie church- 
 door. Vain were the poor dehnquent's 
 supplications for mercy ; his female 
 tormenters would hear nothii:g. After 
 lie had been exposed sufficiently, thi 
 men who had assisted in the ceremony 
 were about to withdraw, but the 
 feathered-deceiver, fearing to be left 
 alone amidst a troop of furious ama- 
 zons, brided his male persecutors with 
 half-a-guinea s worth of ale to escort 
 him in safety out of the reach of fur- 
 ther vengeance. This is said to be 
 the third young woman he has thus 
 deceived. 
 
 Civhij; vp the Gnost. 
 
 A COUNTRY company wf :e ex- 
 hibiting Hamlet, wh';n a j)er-on was 
 ■'iotted to petforu. the Ghost, who, 
 i hough destilnte of ^;age requisites, 
 {Kjsscssed great humour. After his 
 first scciu With Hamlet was te.'ui- 
 nated, the cry was so vio!*'nt against 
 liini from all parts of the liouse, that 
 he turned to the audience, and niade 
 the following laconic address: 'Why, 
 lidies and gentlemen, whai can you 
 expect, for, from my own account, 
 I x\n a damned ghost, ar.d sutia penal 
 nres.' The outrage ^,till rontinuing, 
 he made his second appeal. ' Ladies 
 and geiiilemen since it i-^ your pleasure 
 ihat 1 should not exist, I must of 
 necessity give np the Ghost !' 
 
 Good Excuse. 
 
 \ YOUTHFUL parson one day preach'd, 
 AgaiDst the drunken, lewd, and idle; 
 
 His flock he earnestly beseech'tl, 
 On their desires Jo put a bridle. 
 
 ^!u" service o'er, his text forgot. 
 
 The parr<oa revel'd with the squire; 
 Hiirapers went round. Oh! wotCnl !)lo<, 
 
 His rev'rsncs Inmbled in the mire. 
 Where's now your hridie?" qnothhishost 
 
 Hehiccup'dont, " What do you think 
 I've thrown't away ! No, tis not lost ; 
 
 I only took it off to drink." 
 
 Hard Running. 
 JOHN ran so long, .ind ran so fast, 
 No wonder he ran out at last ; 
 He ran iu debt, and then to pay, 
 He distanc'd ail, audranaway. 
 
 Fox and the Blind Woman. 
 
 THE immortal Fox, when a youth, 
 meeting a blind woman on Easter 
 Monday, who was crying pudciugs 
 and pies, took her by the hand, and 
 said, 'Come along with rae, dame, 
 I am soins to Moorfields, where this 
 holiday time, you may chance to 
 meet with good custom.' Thank y^;u 
 kindiv, sir, replied she. Wheieupon 
 he coiiducted her to Cripolegate 
 church, and placed her in the middle 
 aisle. 'Now,' said he, 'you are in 
 Moorfields:' which site believing to 
 be true, inmiediately cried out, 
 " Hot pudding? and pies ! here they 
 are, all hot !'
 
 318 Literary Cttriosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Spanish Depravity. 
 
 THE following narrative, extracted 
 from tije travels of a German through 
 Spain, in the years 1797 and 1798, 
 we hope, for the honour of human 
 nature, is over-coloured, after the pe- 
 culiar natural taste of the writer:— 
 
 It is true, tliat women in Spain 
 were formerly in a state of the most 
 abject slavery, insonmch that since 
 the general civilization of Europe, 
 Spanish jealousy has beconie prover- 
 bial ; but in progress of time the man 
 
 and by means of the offers aud honour- 
 able means he employed, succeeded 
 in dismissing the young man, without 
 affording Donna Antonia an op|)ortu- 
 nity of opposing the measure. 
 
 The letters, however, of Donna 
 Antonia pursued her lover wherever 
 he went, and love and revenge ren- 
 dered them so eloquent, that tke young 
 man some months after broke his word 
 and returned secretly to Madriil. He 
 then renewed his interview with her 
 at a private house, and his passion 
 daily increased. At length the lime 
 
 nersof Spain, running from one extreme i} arrived, that Antonia ventured to com- 
 to the other, are almost beconie more j municate to him a plan she liad long 
 free than in any other country. Wo- ij since fornred of assassinating her bus- 
 men pay and receive visits, from their |, band, and offered him on that coiidi- 
 
 tertullas at will, go to public fetes 
 without consulting their husbands, 
 spend the income of their dowries as 
 tliey please, and demand besides a 
 certain proportion of pin-money, which 
 is stipulated in their niarriage-articles. 
 In a word, they not only kiiow how to 
 assert their ri!;hts, but enforce their 
 pretensions v.itli the utmost rigour. 
 They also combiu'.- together with a 
 kind of esprit de corps, by means of 
 which the slightest infringement of 
 common usage is resented as an attack 
 or injury done to l!ie whole sex. 
 
 " These ill-assorted marriages some- 
 times produce the most horrid acts of 
 revenge. I will relate one of the most 
 recent examples, wliicii look place 
 during my residence in Madrid. 
 
 Donna Antonia, a charming wo- 
 man, about 29 years of age at most, 
 was married to a merchant, a man of 
 mild temper, but capricious and of 
 woak constitution. This lady had 
 iiiwrys lived a very retired life, 'till 
 a young man from Valencia, w ho came 
 to study the law at Madrid, was re- 
 commended to her husband, and thus 
 had access to her. Domia Antonia 
 was pleased with his person, which 
 ))rocured him iier (avonr, and all the 
 privileges attachetl to it. The hus- 
 batid, however, jierceivtd the intimacy 
 
 tion her hand atul fortune. Don 
 Juan shuduered with horror at the pro- 
 posal, begved her to abandon the idea, 
 shewing litr the dreadful con-equences 
 olso black an action, which he ab>oUite- 
 ly refused to perpttrate. Hereupon at 
 tirst she treated him with the profound- 
 est contempt, and then yave herself 
 up to all tlie extremes that could be 
 suggested by despair. She employed 
 alternately menaces, prayers, and im- 
 precation«, then recurred to all the 
 artifices that revenge or love could 
 contrive, till at length Don Juan ccm- 
 sented, and the death of the husband 
 was resolved. They were engaged ia 
 contriving the means of affecting this, 
 when the following circura.stance oc- 
 p curred to hasten its execution. 
 'i Donna Antonia had presented one 
 I' of her watches to Don Juan, but her 
 j husband missing it, s«on accused the 
 cook of having stolen it, and under 
 that pretext discharged her. The hus- 
 band, however, meeting the woman, 
 upbraided her with ht-r conduct; but 
 she justitied herself by revealing to 
 him the whole secret. lie therefore 
 brought her home, concealed her in 
 an alcove, called his wife, and made 
 the pretended theft the topic of con- 
 versation. 'I he remainder of this in- 
 terview may easily be imagmed. And
 
 Interesting Karrathes, Entgmasi, Epigrams, Voetry, Sfc. 31b 
 
 iiotliiiig but the clt-afli of her liubband 
 «:ould gave her. Tlie grief of the hus- 
 band for the infidelity of his wife, 
 brought on a fever, and he was obliged 
 to confine h'mseir to liis bed. It was 
 therefote delerniined to send all the 
 servants out on tlie following sunday, 
 and leave the patient alone. The 
 opening the door of the balcony was 
 the signal agreed on, and thus the plot 
 was executed. 'I he lover entered the 
 apartment with a poignard in his hand, 
 fell npon the sick man, gave hiivi se- 
 veral stabs in the belly, and made his 
 escape. But the unfortunate husband 
 calling for help, a young •iri who was 
 with her aunt Donna Antonia, heard 
 luni. The aoise of Don Juan in es- 
 caping also attracted her attention, as 
 she ran to the apartment of her uncle, 
 whom she found weltering in his blood, 
 and immediately called her aimt. It 
 may be easily conceived that the latter 
 did not fail to cry out for help too, and 
 to feign the deepest despair. !Mean- 
 while the young man had gained the 
 gate of Toledo, and was goins to quit 
 Madrid, when he recollected he had 
 no money; he iherefore, turned back, 
 and wer)t lo his apartment to gel some, 
 but strongly inij)ressed with the em- 
 barrassment, in which he imagined the 
 object of love to be, he went to a wo- 
 )nan of his acquaintance, and there 
 waited to receive some tidings of her. 
 Two days passed on, the report 
 of this assassination sproad over iNIa- 
 drid, and in the interval the person 
 who was in the secret of their connec- 
 tion, revealed it to her confessor, who 
 advised her to go and inform the al- 
 cade-mayor. The suspicion was con- 
 firmed by an intercepted letter, and 
 the culprits were arrested. Don Juan 
 immediately confessed, and Donna 
 Antonia, who had at first denied her 
 crime, was convicted — The prosecu- 
 tion continued four months, after 
 which they were condemned, and sen- 
 tenced to suffer death. All the interest 
 and the most considerable offers were 
 
 I made in vain. At iirst Donna Antonia 
 riew in a rage, when she was informed 
 her lover had confessed, and loaded 
 him with reproaches and with abuse ; 
 but in her last moments her love seemed 
 to be renewed with increased ardour, 
 and w hen her sentence was read to her, 
 she asked, " And will Don Juan suf- 
 fer the same fatel" which being an- 
 swered in the alHrniative, slio replied, 
 " I am much more grieved, gentlemen, 
 for him than myself," and immediately 
 fainted. 
 
 The day of execution at length 
 arrived, for w hich a scallold had been 
 erected in the Plaza Mayor. The 
 two culprits having nceived the sacra- 
 ment in the chapel of the Dominicans, 
 were conducted to execution by the 
 confraternity del Refugio. 1 liey were 
 both dressed in black, and Donna 
 Antonia wept. She would have em- 
 braced her lover, for the last time, but 
 he turned l;i> head, 'till the confessor 
 I at length reconciled tiiem. She had 
 I begged as a favour to be strangled first, 
 but the sentence was, that botli should 
 I be executed at the same monic-iit. 
 I They were each on a separa'.e seat. 
 Don Juan fainted at the moment when 
 the cord was put round him ; but 
 Donna Antonia sat with great decency, 
 I casting her eyes upon her lover. Tliey 
 i were dispatched in about a niiiiute. 
 I It must here be remarked, that in 
 I Spain there is a ditiert-nce between 
 strangling (dai- garotes) and hanizing 
 (aborcar) in the former of which a 
 wheel is used, which turns a cord across 
 a beajii before which the ciiminal siis. 
 According to custom, the bodies 
 remain exposed in tlie same st'^te until 
 sun-set. Twelve caudies of yellow 
 wax burned near them on black stands 
 and some of the executioner's attend- 
 ants kept guard. The whole square 
 swarmed witii people from four in the 
 morning, and continued so through- 
 out the day. The observations and 
 judgments of the spectators all bore 
 the stamp of the uat^onal character.
 
 320 LUerarif Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wondetful Events, 
 
 The faces of the deceased being black, 
 ill consequence of lljt r'Hux ul" blood 
 during the suffocalion ; (lie people of 
 course attributed this to the violence 
 the devil had done to iheir souls. 
 They coujpared the two cunlenaiKes 
 The men made excuses for Don Juan, 
 and the women took up the defence ot 
 Donna Antonia. The niajority pitied 
 thfir (Mil^pi.y fate. Tliis" probably il 
 was, ijsat induced a curate some days 
 after to say in his sermou, ' that he 
 knew for certain, that Madrid con- 
 tained thousands of women, one half 
 of whom liad been {,'uiity oi similar 
 crimes, and tiie other meditated the 
 perpetration of them. 1 am wilii.ii: 
 to hope, that the pious pastor in his 
 ijeal soiiiewliat exai'j^erated ; yet it is 
 certain that the Spanish women are 
 too often Jed by the inanijers o< the 
 country to rid themselves of their 
 husbands by poison, or any other 
 iDcthoU." 
 
 IPITAPH ON THOMAS KEMP. 
 
 Hanged for Sheep-stealing. 
 
 HERE lies tlie body of Thomas Kemp, 
 Wlio liv'd by xnool, \,ui dy'd by hem}> ; 
 There's notliiui; woii-d suHice ILisgtuiton, 
 But, wittithe fleece, to steal the uiuCon ; 
 liad ho t)Ut workj, and liv'd uprighter, 
 he'd ne'er beeu Laii-,'ed for a sheep-biter. 
 
 Court Jesters. 
 
 WHY pray of late do Kurope's kings, 
 
 No jester to their cOL^rts admit ? 
 They're grown siicli stately soietnu things, 
 
 To ()ear a joiie they think not fit; 
 But fhongh tact; cotiri ajenjer lacks, 
 
 To laugh ar iiionarcLs to (iieir faces, 
 Yet all inanlvind, behiud then- baclss, 
 
 Supply the honest jesters places. 
 
 Epitaph on Captain Jones. 
 
 TREAD soflly, mortals, oertb* bones 
 Of the world s wonder. Captain Jmies! 
 Uho told his glorious deeds to ni.aiy. 
 But nevnr was believ'd by any. 
 
 Posterity let this suffice, 
 
 lie swoye all's true, yet here he lies. 
 
 The present Age. 
 
 >.0 more, my friends, of vain applause. 
 
 Or ■oinplimeiilal rhymes; 
 Come, iMuse! let's cnil another cause. 
 
 And sing about the times. 
 
 ror, of all ages ever known, 
 
 The present is the oddest; 
 For, ministers are lioiu^t grown, 
 
 /.nd all the women modest. 
 
 Xo courtiers now are fond of fees. 
 
 Or biahops of tlu'ir dues ; 
 Few people al the court one sees, 
 
 At cLurc4», what crowded pews .' 
 
 No minister.% their friendi deceive, 
 
 With promises of favour; 
 And what ihey make them once believe. 
 
 They faithfully endeavour. 
 
 Our noblgs, — heaven defend us all, 
 
 I'll nothing say al)0!!f 'cm; 
 For they are great, aiid I'm tint .imall. 
 
 So, Muse, jog on without 'ein^ 
 
 Our inerchant.i wluit a virtuous rare, 
 
 tJe«(<ising earthly treasures; 
 Fond of true honour's glorious chase. 
 
 And quite averse to pleasures. 
 
 What tradesman now forsakes his shup^ 
 
 For politics or news ? 
 Or from the court expects a sop, 
 
 Through inleresleil views. 
 
 Vo soaking sot his spruse neglects. 
 
 For nrigs of mantlinif nappy ; 
 Nor madly squande's his etleils. 
 
 To make himself quite happy. 
 
 No banker, slave to Mammon's will, 
 
 ".ow seeks the venal tribe; 
 With high-raised hopes, applies the tiH, 
 
 To frail electors bribe. 
 
 Or, if there arc, — no men are found, 
 
 i-Ong held the people's friend; 
 Who, mark'd for dyctrines pure and gonnd,. 
 
 Such measures to defend. . 
 
 Seespies. informers, jugglers, liars, 
 
 Despis'd and out of fashion : 
 And statesmen, now grown self-deniers. 
 
 Fly all unlawful passion. 
 
 Happy thf nation thusendow'd, 
 
 So void of want and crimes ; 
 All zealous for the public good. 
 
 Oh ' these are glorious times! 
 
 •' Yonr character." with wondroos stare,. 
 
 ^ays To.-n. " is mighty high, sir ; 
 " Bui pray forgive me, if I swear, 
 
 1 think 'lis alt a lie, sir, — " 
 
 " Ha! think you so, my honest clown. 
 
 Then take another sight ou't! 
 Jnst turn the picture upside down, 
 
 I fear you'll see the right oa't,"
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Efugmas, Epigratns, Poetri/^ S^c. 321 
 
 Geographical and humourous Des- 
 cription of the Isle of Matrimony. 
 
 IN brazen yokr« r.ft Vpnu? hin;is 
 IlI-coaf)led forms and jarriui^ oiiud^; 
 And, ffijly cruel, .joyn to se* 
 The restless lovers disagree. 
 
 THE Isle of Matrimony is sifuate<l 
 on tlio extrenuties of the torrid and 
 frozen zones, and consequently the 
 teinperatuie of the air must be very 
 various and unsettle I, as the bitterest 
 cold morning has been frequentit 
 known to succeed the war/nest even- 
 ing. 
 
 During the spring, this island ex- 
 periences the most sultry heats, and 
 this to so great au excess, that the 
 heads of its inhabitants are frequently 
 turned, and there perhaps is no island 
 rising above the surface of the ocean, 
 in which are found so many lunatics. 
 The summers, however, are more 
 temperate and refreshing, an<l the gen- 
 tle breezes that are wafted from the 
 continent of prudence, sometimes 
 remove the evils occasioned by the 
 violence of the spring. The autumn 
 is a busy and disagreeable season ; for 
 then the mind of every thoughtful 
 inhabitant is perpetually employed in 
 the care of their tender vines, in 
 bringing their fruit to perfection, and 
 in finding a proper market for them ; 
 but many of their vines are frequently 
 destroyed in their bloom by too tender 
 a treatment, and still more are ruined 
 by the pestiferous blights from the 
 eastern regions of luxury. 
 
 The winters of this isle are horrible 
 indeed ; for howling and freezing 
 winds from the dreary regions of the 
 north confine the inhabitants to their 
 houses, and sometimes to their beds. 
 At this season the men grow fretful 
 and surly, and the women loquacious, 
 aud scold immoderately. Voltaire 
 says, " There is one thing peculiar to 
 thisisland— that strangers are desirous 
 of settling there, while its natural in- 
 habitants would be gladly banished 
 from it." 
 
 Whoevej takes up his abode on this 
 island must, bv the laws of it, con- 
 nect himself with a partner, and such 
 partnership nothing can dissolve bat 
 the death of one of them ; in which 
 case it has frequently been observed, 
 that the surviving party has instantly 
 (juitted the island, and returned to it 
 no more. When strangers first come 
 here, the> are highly delighted with 
 the external appearance of harmony 
 between each person and their partner, 
 hut they no sooner make a settlement 
 here themselves, than they find, that 
 the nocturnal disease, called by the 
 inhabitants a ourtain lecture destroys 
 all tlieir felicity. 
 
 Among the politer part of tlie inha- 
 bitants, it is very nnfasliionable for 
 two partners to be seen in the same 
 company, and nothing is more common 
 for one to connive at the other's deal- 
 ing in contraband goods, though the 
 laws are very severe against it. In- 
 deed in this respect, they are such 
 notorious smugglers, that no man with 
 certainty can say, that his most deli- 
 cate is not used by others. 
 
 The arms of this island, by which 
 it is distinguished from all others, are, 
 a plain ring, or, on a field sable ; the 
 supporters. Bacchus and Morpheus ; 
 and the crest, a death's head on an 
 hour glass. 
 
 The usual diversion of these people 
 is cards, with which both partners fre- 
 quently try who shall first ruin the 
 other; but matrimonial partners are 
 never suffered to play in the same 
 company, unless their behaviour an- 
 nounces them utter strangers to each 
 other. 
 
 People in general, on their first set- 
 tlement in this island, are, as it wer*?, 
 enchanted with the beautiful appear- 
 ance of what is here called the honey- 
 moon ; but many of them, before 
 they have a month inhabited the island 
 find what aj>peared to them at first as 
 a most resplendent luminary, is no- 
 thing but a phantODn, a mei^e vapour 
 T t
 
 322 Lifer 
 
 an/ Cm'iositles, Epitaphs, Wonderfin Events, 
 
 of tlie imam'nalion. In sliorf, this 
 island, which so many represent as the 
 region of delight, as the garden of 
 pleasure, and as the centre of all hu- 
 man happiness, is frequently the abode 
 of vexation, the den of discontent, 
 and to numbers of its inhabitants the 
 tale of misery ! 
 
 Scotch fVea titer. 
 
 SCOTLAND! tby weather's like a modish 
 
 wife, 
 Thy winds and. rains for ever are at strife , 
 So termagant awliile e'er thunder fries;, 
 Add, when she cau no longer scold, shecrieg. 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 SOME of the crew of one of the 
 sliips lately oft' Yannouth, had occa- 
 sion to go ashore at that place, and 
 being flush of j)rizc-money betook 
 themselves to the play-house and other 
 places of amusement. Among the 
 number was an ambitious boatswain, 
 who, after equipping himself in a 
 splendid suit, richly bedizened with 
 j^old, and only a few dozen of years 
 behind the fashion, strutted in the full 
 piitF powder of lace and ruffles, into 
 one of riic boxes, and icsolved for 
 wne night to be a gentleman. While 
 the surrounding company knew not 
 how to interpret the incongruity of 
 our hero's apparel, with his hard and 
 weather-beaten countenance, one of 
 Jiis brother tars spying from the gallery 
 a countenance which he thought fa- 
 miliar to him, said to a messmate be- 
 side him, 'Jack, I'll be hanged if that 
 there be not our boatswain in the side- 
 box, dressed like a ship's commander.' 
 
 * Pshaw, (said the other) ourboatiwain 
 among the gentlefolks! it cannot be.' 
 
 * I'll luiil him though,' said the first, 
 and hollowed out to ilic astonishment 
 of the house, ' boatswain, o'hoy'.— 
 The unlortuunte boatswain started in 
 surprise from his seat in the box, and 
 hollowed in return ' o'hoy,' to the im- 
 mediate detection of his rank and the 
 merriment of the byc-^anders. 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 TWO young men, who fjom 
 motives of economy, partook of the 
 same bed, at a coffin-ma her' » at the 
 west end of the town, where they 
 lodged, returned home a few nights 
 since to repose, after sacrificing with 
 a degree of uncommon devotion at 
 the shrine of the jolly god. The 
 must gigantic of the youths took 
 possession of the bed, which was but 
 of small dimensions, at the best, and 
 fell into a profound sleep. The 
 other, devout even in his cups, having 
 offered up Ids customary prayers, 
 found himself so chilled, and the bed 
 so completely occupied by his nar- 
 cotic companion, that he, at first, did 
 not know what to do; — but as 
 " necessity i% the mother of invention," 
 he staggered into an adjoining apart- 
 mei|t, and brought into his own a 
 coftin made for a corpse hi an adja- 
 cent street; into this he tumbled, 
 wrapped in a black cloak, and half 
 covered with the lid. Soon he was 
 in a death-like sleep ; but in the 
 morning, when his companion was 
 awake, and saw the coffin and its 
 conteats, he trembled with fright, 
 leaped from the bed, and ran down 
 stairs. The undertaker's men were 
 just come at the moment for the coifin. 
 In his fright, he told tham it was np 
 staits 2€ith the corpse. They accord- 
 ingly went up, covered it over, and 
 carried it away, with its sleepy contents 
 When deposited at the house of the 
 real deceased, whose friends were 
 assembled to take a last parting look, 
 how much were they terrified to see 
 the young man, who was aroused 
 from his slumbers, awake and sitting 
 erect, unconscious where he was, or 
 hew he came there. The women 
 screamed, the men were petrified, 
 the aflVighled youth himself was 
 aghast himself w ith fear ; but, on his 
 recollection returning, he took to his 
 heels with his sombre robes, and ran 
 to his lodgings, where his tertified 
 companion has never since been seen.
 
 Interesting Narratiies^ Enigmas^ Epigrayns, Poetry, Sfc. 323 
 
 AJodern Heroism. 
 
 MUCH has been said of the he- 
 roism of tlie Greeks and Romaiis. 
 ferhaps the following trait «f Jules 
 Polii^nac (the youn;:er brother) will 
 bear comparison ivith the noblest re- 
 cord of a'lcient virtue. When found 
 guilt V, he, before sentence, addressed 
 his Judges as follows:— " Should my 
 brother Ariuand be found guilty, and 
 I be declared innocent, I supplicate 
 most earncbt'y to be permitted to take 
 his place, ai:d to die for him. Me 
 has a wife, I am unmarried ; and, in 
 the present situation of my king, my 
 country, and my family, I have no 
 ties that attach me to life ; which, be- 
 sides, I have not enjoyed long enou:;h 
 to regret much its loss. An unfortu- 
 nate bui loyal exile from my youth, 
 I iiave tasted but little of existence but 
 its wretchedness, w hich now is become 
 almost insupportable; I see no other 
 happiness or glory upon tlijs side the 
 grave than to be allowed to ascend ^le 
 same scafibld where the most virtuous 
 of men and of kings, Louis XVI. has 
 bled. My sentiments are besides un- 
 alterable, neither to be shaken by ter- 
 ror, nor to be changed by clemency. 
 No Poliguac was ever a traitor, either 
 to his God or to his king ; anci I shall 
 certainly not be the first who dis- 
 honours my name.— Whether I am to 
 die in an hour, or to live for a century, 
 my constant prayer and wish shall be 
 that providence may restore to my 
 country its law ful sovereign." During 
 Lis speech, of which this is only a short 
 sketch, several ladies ia the galleries 
 with their tears evinced the interest he 
 inspired. Even the gen' d arms were 
 moved at seeing his Onnness, and hear- 
 hig bis frankness. 
 
 An original Epitaph. 
 
 HERE lie^jfast asleep, awake me who can. 
 That medley of passiou and follies, a man : 
 Wlio sooietfmes lov'd licence, and sometimes 
 
 restraint, 
 Too much of the sinner, too little of saint ; 
 ?"rora quarter to quarter I sliifted my tack ; 
 Gainsllhe evils of life a most notable quack; 
 But, alas! I soon found the defects of ray 
 
 skill, 
 And my nostrnms in practice prov'd treach- 
 erous still ; 
 From lifj's certain ills 'twas in vaiu to seek 
 
 ease, 
 The remedy oft prov"d another disease ; 
 What in rapture began often ended in 
 
 sorrow, 
 Andthe pleasure to-day brought reflection, 
 
 to-morrow ; 
 When each action was o'er, and its errors 
 
 were seen, 
 Then I view'd with surprize the strange 
 
 thing I had beeu ; 
 My body and raind were so oddly contriv'd. 
 Imprudence of mind twought oa sickness 
 
 and pain. 
 The body diseas'd paid the debt back again: 
 Thus coupled together life's journey they 
 
 pass'd, 
 Till they wrangled and jangled and parted 
 
 at 4ast ; 
 Thus tir'd and weary, I have fmish'd my 
 
 course, 
 Am glad it is bed-time, and things are no 
 worse. * 
 
 Epitaph on rich Hewet. 
 
 HERE lyes rich IIewet, a gentleman of 
 
 note, 
 For why he gave three owlcs in his coat ; 
 Ve gee he is buriedin the church of Sr. Paul 
 iJe was wise, becH««e flcb,, and now you 
 
 kuow all. 
 
 The obstinate Juryman. 
 
 A JURYMAN not so pliant rfs 
 many others, but thinking for himself, 
 and determined, where he felt him- 
 self right, was repeatedly singular in 
 his opinion, and brought over the 
 other eleven. Meeting one day in a 
 private company with the recorder, 
 the latter asked him how he came to 
 be so fastidious? 'Sir, (said he) no 
 man is mere open than I am to con- 
 viction ; but I have not met with the 
 same pliancy in others; for it has 
 generally been ray lot to be ou a jury 
 \\\\.\i elei'&n obstinate men.' 
 
 A Notice. 
 
 IN a late notice to the members of 
 a volunteer corps, it was stated that 
 Jield days were continued in tlie 
 armoury house every evening, 
 T t 2
 
 324 Literary Curiosities, Epitapl/s, Wonderful Events, 
 
 An Apothecary and an Upholder » 
 
 A GENTLEiNIAN of considerable 
 property, witJi his Ihree handsome 
 daufihters, haviiiir removed witii his 
 family from Bishopsgate-Street to 
 Berners-Street, sent one of his 
 servants to an upholsterer in his neigh- 
 bourhood to come to his hoUbC the 
 next morning at nine o'clock, intend- 
 ing to give him some directions relat- 
 ive to curtains, chair covers, &c. It 
 happened the preceding night that 
 one of the geniieman's daughters was 
 taken suddenly ill, and as she grew 
 worse every hour, and the family 
 apothecary lived in Finshury square, 
 a servant vvas at eight o'clock in the 
 morning despatched to desire the at- 
 tendance of any apothecary he could 
 find. ri(> returned in a short tinit 
 and told them he had met one in 
 itastbourn-place, who would wait 
 upon them as soon as possible. The 
 servant was despatched into the city 
 for a female relation, and had scarce 
 left the house before a rap at the 
 door announced a visitor. The two 
 sisters both running to the bed-room 
 window at the same time, and seeing 
 a good looking man, to whose person 
 they were strangers, concluded it 
 was their new apothecary, and sent 
 down their own maid to let him in, 
 and show him up stairs. The girl 
 eagerly run to the door, and received 
 him with, a " 5jV, / am very glad 
 you are come, my lady haa waited 
 for you, please to walk up stairs. 
 The upholsterer, for such was the 
 new visitor, imagined there was some 
 extraordinary emergency, and was 
 ushered up one pair of stairs, and 
 expected to have been introduced to 
 the drawing-room, but instead, was 
 shewn up another pair, and ushered 
 into a bed-room where two very 
 beautiful females were ready to re- 
 ceive liim, and a third ui bed. The 
 curtains were drawn, and every 
 appearance of privacy. This sur- 
 
 prised him, and his surprise wi;s 
 farther increased, by one of them 
 telling him she was glad he was come, 
 desiring him to set down by the bed 
 side, beginning with, " You cannot 
 imagine. Sir, what a terrible night 
 my sister has had, no rest, pains in 
 her head, violent perspirations, and 
 eeery bad symptom." — " / am extreme- 
 ly sorry Jor it madam," — " Appears 
 to have every symptom of a Jeier." — 
 " Bad account indeed, JSladam." — 
 " And in twenty four hours has only 
 
 had " — " JDear me, that's very 
 
 bad indeed-" (stammering as if the 
 devil had been in him) " Be so good. 
 Sir, as to look at her tongue ; put 
 your arm eut of the bed, my dtar." 
 Which the young lady complying with, 
 the upholsterer got an opportunity of 
 putting in a word, and said, " Tor 
 all these circumstances, he thought, 
 he conceived, he apprehended, that 
 they had better send for an apothe- 
 cary :" — "For an apothecary !— for 
 an apothecary ! — for an apothecary !" 
 screamed all three together, " why 
 are not yeu an apothecary !" Down 
 dropped the sick young lady, and 
 covered herself with the bed cloaths, 
 and out ran the other two, frightened 
 out of their wits, " IVas there ever 
 such a mistake, such a blunder, pray. 
 Sir, ivho are you, whence come yeu ? 
 who sent for you!" By this time the 
 whole house was in one general con- 
 fusion from top to bottom, when the 
 matriculated apothecary, rapping at 
 the street door, and the upholsterer 
 being introduced to the master of the 
 bouse, developed the whole mystery. 
 
 Grace after Dinner, at a Miser^s. 
 
 THANKS for this miracle; i( is no less, 
 Tbau finding nianua in the wilderness; 
 In midst of famine wc have found relief, 
 And seen the wonder of a chine of beef; 
 Chimnies tiave smok'd that never 8mok'4 
 
 before. 
 And we have din'd wbere we shall dine QO 
 
 more.
 
 Tntercstinfj Narrafheft^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetnj, 8;c. 325 
 
 The Brewer's Coachman. 
 
 HONEST William, an eafy and good 
 
 natur'd fellow, 
 Would a little too oft get a little too melloVr ; 
 Body-coaciimaa was he to an etuineut 
 
 brewer,— 
 No better e'er sat in a box to be sure; 
 Mis coach waakept clean, and uo mothers 
 
 or nurses, 
 Took that care of their babes, that he took 
 
 of bis horses ; 
 He had these — ay, and fifty good qualities 
 
 more, 
 JBnt the business of tippling could ne'er be 
 
 got o'er ; 
 So hi«i master effectaally mended the matter, 
 By hiring a man who drank nothing but 
 
 water ; 
 *• Now, William," says he, you see the 
 
 plain case, 
 Had you drank as he does, you'd kept a 
 
 good place ; 
 •' Drink water!" quoth William, " had all 
 
 men done so. 
 You'd ne'er a wanted a coachman, I trovF, 
 Tis soakers, like me, whom you load with 
 
 reproaches, 
 That enable you brewers to ride in your 
 
 coaches. 
 
 Anecdote of Foote, 
 
 AN eccetitric barber some years ago 
 opened a shop under tbe walls of the 
 king's-bench prison. The windows 
 being broken when be entered it, he 
 mended tbeni w ith paper, on which ap- 
 peared 'shave for a penny,' with the 
 usnal invitation to customers; aad over 
 bis door was scrawled this poetry :— 
 
 Here lives Jemmy Wright, 
 
 Shaves as well as any man in England, 
 
 Almost — not quite. 
 
 Foote, who loved any thing eccentric 
 saw these inscriptions, and hoping to 
 extract some wit from the author, 
 whom he justly concluded to be an odd 
 character, he pulled off his hat, and 
 thrusting bis head through a paper 
 pane into the shop, called out, 'is 
 Jemmy Wright at home V The barber 
 immediately forced his own head 
 through another pane into the street, 
 and replied, * No sir he has just popt 
 out.' Foote laughed heartily, and 
 gave the man a guinea. 
 
 Joseph II. 
 
 IN one of those excursions which 
 this emperor frequently took inco^. he 
 proceeded to Trieste. On his arrival 
 he went into an inn, and asked if he 
 could be acoomodated with a good 
 room; he was told a German bishop 
 had just engaged the hist, and that 
 there were only two small rooms, with- 
 out chimneys unoccupied. He desired 
 a supper to be prepared. He was 
 (old there was nothing left but some 
 eggs and vegetables, the bishop and 
 his sisite having besjwke ail the poul- 
 try. The emperor requested that the 
 bishop might be asked, if he would 
 allow a stranger tu sup with him. The 
 bishop refused, and the emperor sup- 
 ped with one of the bishop's almoners, 
 who was not admitted to his master's 
 table. He asked the almoner what 
 he was going to do at Ronje. My 
 lord he replied is going to solicit a ben- 
 efice of 50,000 livres, before the em- 
 peror is informed of its being vacant. 
 I They changed the conversation. The 
 emperor wrote a letter to the chancellor 
 of Rome, and another to his ambas- 
 sador. He made the almoner promise 
 to deliver both letters, agreeably to 
 their address, on his arrival at Rome. 
 He kept his promise. The chancellor 
 presented the patent for the benefice 
 to the astonished almoner* 
 
 Elpigram. 
 
 IN allthyhnmours, whether gravcor mellow 
 Thou'rt such a touchy, testy, pleasant 
 
 fellow ; 
 Hast 80 much wit, and mirth, and spleea 
 
 absut thee, 
 There is no living with thee, nor without 
 
 thee. 
 
 Disposal of a Joke, 
 
 MR. CURRAN observing, one day 
 in court, a louse crawling on a brother 
 barrister's forehead, told him of it, 
 " You joke," said the other, " If 
 you have many such jokes in your 
 head, replied Curran, " the sooner 
 you crack them the better.',
 
 3'l6 Liieranj Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 The Devil outwitted. 
 
 A VICAR liv'd on this side Treut, 
 
 Religious, learu'd, beuevolcnt ; 
 
 Pure was his life ia deed, word, Ihoughl, 
 
 A commenf on the truths be taught : 
 
 His parish larg:e, his income small, 
 
 Yut seldom wanted wherewithal ; 
 
 For against ev'ry merry tide 
 
 Madam would carefully previde. 
 
 A painful paslor; but bis sheep, 
 
 Alas ' wi<hia no bounds would keep; 
 
 A scabby ttocU, that ev'ry day 
 
 Run riot, aud would go astray. 
 
 He thump'd his cushion, fretted, vex'd, 
 
 Thump'd o'er again each useful text ; 
 
 Rebuk'd, exhorted, all in vaiu ; 
 
 ITis parish was the more profane : 
 
 The scrubs would have their wiciied will, 
 
 And cunning Satan triumph'd still. 
 
 At last, when each expedient fail'd, 
 
 And serious measures nought avail'd, 
 
 It came into his head, to try 
 
 The force of wit aud raillery. 
 
 The good m^n was by nature gay, 
 
 Could j^ibe and joke as well a? pray ; 
 
 Not like somi! hide-bound folk, who chase 'i 
 
 Each merry smile from their dull face, > 
 
 And think pride /.eal, ill-nature grace. j 
 
 At christenings and each jovial feast. 
 
 He singled out the sinful beast: 
 
 Let all his pointed arrows Ily, 1 
 
 Told this, and that, look'd very sly, >- 
 
 And left my masters to api)ly, ^ 
 
 His tales were humorous, often true. 
 
 And now and (hen set off to view 
 
 With lucky lictious and sheer wit, 
 
 That pierc'd where truth could never hit. 
 
 The laugh was always on his side, 
 
 AVhile passive fools by turns deride ; 
 
 And, giggling thus at one another, 
 
 Each jeeriug lout reform'd his brother ; 
 
 Till the whole parish was with ease 
 
 Sham'd into virtue by degrees. 
 
 Then be advis'd, aud try a tale. 
 
 When cbrysostom and Austin fail. 
 
 Sad Times. 
 
 AN old woman, entering a chandler's 
 shop, modestly asked for a t/ure- 
 farhiing candle. The shop-inan 
 replied, that ob account of the war, 
 there were tione under a penny, and 
 it was all owing to the French. " Odds 
 curse 'em !" exclaimed the old woman, 
 «* what do they fight by candle-light?" 
 
 On John Trott, a Bailiff. 
 
 HERE lies John Trott, by trade a bum ; 
 When he dy'd, the devil cry'd, 
 Coaie, Jchi*f come. 
 
 Anecdote 0/ Kotezbue. 
 
 TIIR celebrated Kotezbue is under 
 a contract to supply three theatres, 
 that of Vienna, Berlin, and Peters- 
 burgh, with two dramatic pieces each 
 In the season. Upon being asked, how 
 he could undertake so much, he re- 
 plied, " Nothing, my good friend, 
 is more easy ; I have one plot for all, 
 and three standing characters, which 
 I vary in their dialogue and action, 
 according lo the difl^rent taste of my 
 audiences. — I have a /oicr, for in- 
 stance — mark now how I use him at 
 one theatre, .^nd how I treat him at 
 another. At Petersburgh, he smokes; 
 at Berlin, he wenches; at Vienna, he 
 games. If drawn as a villain in Rus- 
 sia, he may commit murder on the 
 stage ; but, at Berlin and Vienna, he 
 must not draw his swotd before the 
 curtain. Again, as I go North, my 
 heroine must be virtuous, and within 
 a few degrees of the pole, she must 
 be a very saint. Thus, before a Prus- 
 sian audience, she preaches; at Peters- 
 burg she is a prude ; at \'ienna she is 
 dijilt; and at Paris, a prostitute. 
 
 Barrington. 
 
 SOME years ago, one of the male 
 convicts in Botany Bay, wrote a farce, 
 which was acted with great applause 
 at the theatre in Port Jackson. Bar- 
 rington, the noted pick-pocket, fur- 
 nished the prologue, which ended 
 with these two lines : 
 
 True patriots we, for be it nndersfood. 
 We left our country, for onr country's good. 
 
 The Miser, 
 A FRIEND visiting a miser in the 
 country, remonstrated with him on 
 the meanness of his dress. "OI 
 (said he) it is of no consequence, every 
 body knows me here." Coming to 
 London soon after, in the same garb, 
 his friend again remonstrated. He 
 answered, *' Nobody knowe me here.'»
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enfgmas, Epigrams, Poetry, Sic. Si7 
 
 The Old Cheese. 
 
 YOUNG Slouch, the farmer, had a jolly 
 
 wife, 
 That knew all the conveniences of life. 
 Whose diligfence and cleanlinfiss supplied. 
 The wit which nature had to him denied : 
 But then she had a tongue that would be 
 
 heard, 
 And make a better man than Slouch afear'd 
 This made censorious persons of the town. 
 Say, Slouch could hardly call his soul his 
 
 own ; 
 Fop, if he went abroad (oo much, she'd use 
 To give him. slippers, and lock up his shoes. 
 TalkinfT he lov'd, and ne'er was more af- 
 flicted 
 Than when he wasdi.«turt)'d or contradicted; 
 Yet still into his story she would break 
 ^f ilh — " 'Tis not so; pray give me leave to 
 
 " spi'ak." 
 His friends thought this was a tyrannic rule, 
 Not diff 'rin» nuich from callinff of him fool ; 
 Told him he must exert himself and be 
 In fact the master of his family. 
 He said, " That the next Tuesday noon 
 
 '' would shew 
 " Whether he were the lord at home or no ; 
 " When their good company he would en- 
 
 " treat 
 " To well-brew 'd ale, and clean if homely 
 
 " meat." 
 
 With achingheart borne to his wife he goes, 
 
 And on his knees does bis rash act disclose; 
 
 And prays dear Suk«y, that, one day at least. 
 
 He might appear as master of the feast. 
 
 " I'U grant your wish," cries she, " that 
 
 "■ you may see 
 
 * 'Twere wisdom to be govern'd still by me." 
 
 * The guests upon the day appointed came 
 Each bowsy farmer with his simp'ring dame. 
 
 * Ho, Sue!" cries Slouch, "why dost not, 
 
 * " thou appear? 
 
 " Arethesethy manners when Aunt Snap is 
 
 " here?" 
 " I pardon ask," says Sue, " I'd notolTend 
 " Any my dear invites, much lesshis friend." 
 Slouch by his kinsman Gruffy had been 
 
 taught 
 To entertain his friends with finding fault, 
 And making the main ingredient of his treat 
 His saying — " There was nothing fit to eat: 
 " The boil'd pork stink9,the roast beef's not 
 
 " enough, 
 •' The bacon's rusty, and the hens are tough; 
 " The veals all rags, the butter's turu'd to 
 
 " oil ; 
 " And thus I bny good meat for sluts to 
 
 " spoil. 
 " '.Tis we are the first Slouches ever sate 
 " Down to a pudding without plums or fat. 
 " What teeth or stomach's strong enough to 
 
 "feed > 
 
 " Upon a goose my granunm kept to breed ? 
 
 " Why must old pigeons, and they stale be 
 
 " drest, 
 '' When ttjere's so many squ*b ones in the 
 
 nest? 
 "This beer is .sour; 'tis musty, thick ^lud 
 
 " stale, 
 " And wors;' than any thing except the al«>. 
 
 Sue all this while many excuses made : 
 
 Some things sheown'd; at other tieaes she i 
 
 laid ' 
 
 The fault on chance.biU oft'ner on thp( 
 
 maid 
 
 Then cheese w.ts brought, »:ays .Slouch^ 
 
 " This e'en shall roll ; 
 " Vm sure 'lis Lard enough to make a bowl: 
 " 'i'his is skim-milk, and therefore it shall go; 
 " And this, because lis SufToIk, follow too." 
 But now Sue's palienco-did bt-gin to waste ; 
 N'or longer could dissimulation last. 
 " Pray let me rise, says Sue, •' my dear ; I'll 
 
 "find 
 A cheese perhaps maybe to lovy's mind." 
 Then in an entry standing close, whore ho 
 Alone, and none of all his friends might seej 
 And brandishing a cudgel he had felt. 
 And far enough on this occasion smell — 
 " I'll try, my joy," she cried, "if I can 
 
 " please 
 " My dearest with a taste of his old cheese !" 
 Slouch turu'd his head, saw his wife's 
 vigorous hand 
 Wielding her oaken sapling of command, 
 Knew well the the twang — " Is't the old- 
 
 " cheese, my dear ! 
 " No need,no need of cheese," criesSIouch I 
 " I sweai", , 
 
 " I thiak I've din'd as well as my Lord 
 " Mayor!" 
 
 Do justice to the Toast, 
 
 LADY HAMILTON having at 
 her table given Mr. Goldsmid as a 
 toast, and a gentleman only half 
 filling his glass, she cried, " Come, 
 come, you must not sham Abraham." 
 
 A great Calf, 
 
 A YOUNG clergyman boasting of 
 his having been educated at two 
 universities, an aged divine observed, 
 ' you remind me of an instance of a calf 
 that sucked two cows." "And what 
 was the conseqnejice ? asked the 
 junior. " Why sir, replied the old 
 gentleman, (very gravely) the conse- 
 quence was, X\vii\A.\^\\(\%averij great 
 cat/.
 
 328 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 King Henry VIU. and his Six 
 
 Wives. 
 
 HENUY VIII. second son of 
 Henry VIJ. !>v Eli7abeth, eldest 
 daughter of Edward tite IV. and 
 heiress to the house of York, wa? 
 born at Greeiswich, on the SCd, or 
 according to some writers, the '2Slh 
 of June, 14-91, lie was educated 
 with gre;it care, being designed bv 
 his father for the archbishopric o( 
 Canterbury, during the hfe of his el- 
 der brother Arthur, and instructed 
 not only in the more necessary parts 
 of learning, but even those of orna- 
 ment ; for besides his skill in the latin 
 language, and the philosophy and di- 
 vinity of that age, he was so great a 
 master of music, that he composed 
 two masses, which were often per- 
 formed in his chapel. Upon the death 
 of Prince Arthur, at Ludlow-Castle, 
 on the 2d of April, 1502, he became 
 heir-apparent to the crown, and soon 
 after was created Prince of Wales. 
 In the year 1503, on the 23d of June, 
 an agreement was made between the 
 king his father, and Ferdinand king 
 of A rragon, that he should marry Ca- 
 therine, daughter of Ferdinand, and 
 widow of his brother Arthur, on con- 
 dition that the pope's dispensation 
 could be obtained; which being granted 
 by Pope Julius II. on the 26th of 
 December the same year, they were 
 solemnly afliauced ; but the prince, 
 on the very day he was fourteen years 
 of age, by command of his father, 
 made in the presence of certain wit- 
 nesses, a protestation, in form, against 
 the consent which he had given. 
 
 His father dying on the 22d of April 
 1509, Henry ascended the throne, and 
 began his reign with confirming the 
 general pardwn granted by the late 
 king just before his death. But he 
 soon after published a proclamation, 
 kivitiiig such of his subjects as hud 
 been wronged to complain, at the 
 sanae time prontising them satisfaction. 
 
 In c«»nsequence of which many peti- 
 tions being exhibited against ^ir Ri- 
 chard Empson and Edmund Dudley, 
 Esq; who had been employed in the 
 last reign to extort vast suras of money 
 from tlie people, by the rigorous exe- 
 cution of penal statutes, <!jey were 
 imprisoned in the tower; attained in 
 the parliament, which met on the 1st. 
 of January, 1510, and on the 17th 
 of August following, beheaded. The 
 king was at first in doubt,, whether he 
 should consummate his marriage with 
 Catherine of Arragon, for reasons 
 both of conscience and policy ; but 
 almost the whole council declaring for 
 it, he determined upon the marriage, 
 which was solemnized in June 1509, 
 as their coronation was on the 24'th 
 of that month. In the beginning of 
 his reign he left the administration of 
 his affairs wholly to his council and 
 ministers, resigning himself to the 
 pursuit of his pleasures, in various 
 kinds of which, as tournaments, balls, 
 entertainments, and concerts of music, 
 he spent eighteen hundred thousand 
 pounds, which had been amassed by 
 the economy or rather avarice of his 
 father. 
 
 The contests between Fox, bishop 
 of Winchester, Henry VII.'s old min- 
 ister, and Thomas Howard, earl of 
 Surry, afterwards duke of Norfolk, 
 lord treasurer, occasioned the former, 
 in order to supplant his rival, to in- 
 troduce to court Thomas Wolsey, who 
 soon gained such an ascendant over the 
 young king, as to continue for near 
 twenty years his first minister and fa- 
 vourite, and absolutely to govern his 
 counsels, especially with respect to fo- 
 reign affairs, according to his own 
 private views and passions, without 
 any atterition to the true interests of 
 his master, or of his country. 
 
 Henry might, in the opinion of an 
 excellent political writer, hj<ve been 
 applied to, as the mediator, or arbi- 
 trator, of the christian world ; and 
 have found his account in all their wars
 
 Ihleresf'mg' Narratires, E}iigmns^ Epk/rnyns, Poefrif, 8fc. 329 
 
 .".nd negotiations, without !)eing a party 
 in tlic-rn. IWit he (li(i the contrary. 
 A r..se blessed by the pope ; an em- 
 peror serving in his army, and takin^' 
 his pay ; a whunsical project of con- 
 quests, never desijjned to be made, 
 and impossible to be kept, were suf- 
 ficient to draw him into the most ex- 
 travagant engagements, which were 
 numberless, frerpiently inconsistent, 
 and so very rash and unadvised, that 
 whilst his aim, or his pretence, was to 
 keep a balance between the great 
 powers of Europe, he more than once 
 assisted the strongest to oppress the 
 weakest. Sir Walter llaleigh has made 
 Some severe remarks upon his conduct 
 in his wars against France ; and, in 
 the preface to his incomparable history, 
 affirms, that all his vain eulerprizcs 
 abroad consumed more treasure, than 
 all our victorious kings did in their 
 several conquests. 
 
 The most memorable facts of this 
 reign, which afford ample scope* for 
 the industry both of the civil and ec- 
 clesiastical historian, are his renounc- 
 i'lg the supremacy of the see of Rome, 
 in 1531, onaccounlof the difficulties 
 he met with from it in the divorce of 
 his first Queen Catharine, after he had 
 shewn himself a champion for the doc- 
 trines of that church in his book 
 against Luther, published in 1521, the 
 merit of which procured him from 
 Pope Leo X. the title of defender of 
 the faith: his declaring himself the 
 h3ad of the church ; the suppression 
 of the monasteries, and religious 
 houses, by which he acquired immense 
 riches, which he distributed among 
 his nobility and courtiers; reserving 
 only a small part for the endowment 
 of six new bishoprics, Westminster, 
 Chester, Gloucester, Peterborough, 
 Oxford, and Bristol ; the progress 
 which he made in the reforniation of 
 religion, under the influence of Arch- 
 bishop Cranmer, though he was some- 
 times prevailed ujxjn by Gardiner and 
 other zealots foi the old religion, to 
 
 treat the friends of the reformation 
 with all the severities of tiie most de- 
 termined persecution ; till at last th;it 
 learned and able, but ambitious pre- 
 late losing all credit with his master, 
 who ordered his name to be struck, 
 out of his last will, the king was thought 
 to have intended to carry the reforma- 
 tion farther than he liad done, if death 
 had not prevented him, which hap- 
 pened on the night between the '^8(fa 
 and CQth of January, 1 546-7, i" the 
 56th year of his age; and he was in- 
 terred at Windsor. 
 
 Sir Walter Pvaleigh sums up bis cha- 
 racter in a few words of peculiar poig- 
 nancy, declaring that if all the pictures 
 and patterns of a merciless prince were 
 lost to the world, they might again be 
 painted to the life out of the history 
 of this king. But to soften the de- 
 formity of this portrait, let us view 
 him in the more advantageous light, 
 in which he is drawn by Lord Her- 
 bert, who observes, that his bitterest 
 censurers agree, that he had many 
 perfections, both of nature and edu- 
 cation, and a deep judgment in all 
 affairs, to which he applied himself; 
 that he was liberal and indulgent to 
 his family and court, and even to 
 strangers; that he made choice of able 
 and good men for the church, and of 
 wise and grave counsellors for the state 
 and, above all, was a prince of great 
 courage : in short, that, with all his 
 faults, he was courted by the chief 
 potentates of Christendom, and highly 
 reverenced by his subjects in general. 
 
 Catharine of Arragon,the First Wife 
 of King Henri/ VI H. 
 
 CATHARINE of Arragon, the first 
 wifeol King Henry VI II. fourth daigh- 
 ter of Ferdinand and Isabella, kmg 
 and queen of Spain, was born on the 
 Kith of December, 1485. Her mar- 
 riage with Arthur, Prince of Wales, 
 ehlest son of King Henry VII. wss 
 ■solemnized at St. Paul's, in London, 
 
 V 11
 
 330 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs^ Woftderful Eierits, 
 
 on tlie 14tli of November, 1501, the 
 prince being then ahnost fifteen years 
 of age, and she almost sixteen. The 
 portion given with her was two hun- 
 dred thousand ducats, the greatest 
 that had been given for many ages 
 with any princess; and her jointure 
 was tlie third part of the principality 
 of Wales, of the dukedom of Corn- 
 wall, and of the earldom of Chester ; 
 and, in case she came to be queen of 
 Kngland, her jointure w as left indefi- 
 nile, but determined lo be as great as 
 ever any former queen had. The 
 prince and princ«'ss lived together as 
 man and wife tifl the second of April 
 foUnwing ; anti not only had their bed 
 solemnly blest, when they were put 
 into it, on the night of their marriage, 
 but also were seen publicly in bed for 
 several da\s after, and went down to 
 live at Ludlow-Caslle in Wales, where 
 they still bedded together. But the 
 prince, though a strong and healthful 
 youth, when he married her, died 
 soon after, on the second of April, 
 1502; his death bting thought, by 
 some, to have been hastened by his 
 too early marriage. The Spanish am- 
 bassador had, by his master's order, 
 taken proofs of the consummation 
 of the marriage, and sent them into 
 Spain : and the young prince himself 
 hfd likewise, by many expressions, 
 given bis servants eause to believe that 
 his marriage was consummated the 
 firit nii'ht, which, in a youth so vigo- 
 rous and healthful, was not at all 
 judged improbable. And it was so 
 constantly believed, that, when he 
 di;d, his younger brother, Henry 
 Duke of Ycnk, was not called Prince 
 of Wales for some considerable time ; 
 nor was he created prince till it was 
 evi lent, fjiat his brother's wife was 
 n )t witii child by him. Those thiiigs 
 were afterwards looked upon as a full 
 demonstration, that the princess was 
 not a virgin after Prince Arthur's death. 
 But the reasons of state still subsisting 
 tor keeping up the alliance with Spain 
 
 i'gainst France, and King Henry VII. 
 having no inclination to let so great a 
 revenue, as she had in jointure, be 
 carried out of the kingdom, it was 
 proposed, that she should marry the 
 younger brother Henry, now Prince 
 of Wales. But this was opposed by 
 Warhani, archbishop of Canterbury, 
 who thought it neither honourable nor 
 pleasing to God; while Fox, bishop 
 of' Winchester, was very zealous for it; 
 and the pope's dispensation was es- 
 teemed sufficient to remove all objec- 
 tion, and to obviate the murmurs of 
 the people, who would otherwise dis- 
 like a disputable marriage, since it 
 might occasion new wars about the 
 right of the crown, A dispensa- 
 tion was accordingly obtained on the 
 SAth of December, 1503, taking no- 
 tice, that, in the petition lately pre- 
 sented to the pope by Prince Henry and 
 the Princess Catharine, it had been 
 declared, that her former marriage 
 with Prince Arthur, had perhaps, been 
 consunimated. Upon this bill, they 
 were married, the Prince of W^ales 
 being yet under age. But Archbishop 
 Warham had so possessed the king 
 with an aversion to this marriage, that 
 on the day the prince was of age, 
 June 17, 1505, be, by his father's 
 command, in the presence of many of 
 I the nobility and others, made a pro- 
 testation in the iiands of Fox, bishop 
 of Winchester, before a public notary 
 and read it himself, by which he de- 
 clared, that whereas he, being under 
 age, was married to the Princess Ca- 
 tharine ; yet, now coming lo be of 
 age, he did not confirm that mar- 
 riage, but retracted and annulled ir, 
 and would not proceed in it, but in- 
 tended, in full form of law, to void it 
 and break it off; which he declared he 
 did freely, and of his own accord. 
 Thus it stood during his father's life, 
 who seems to have repented of its be- 
 ing made; for he charged his son to 
 break the contract, lro;n a full per- 
 suasion of its being unlawful, and, be-
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetn/, ^c. 331 
 
 cause affection takes rise from conver- 
 sation, would not suffer him to visit 
 the princess, or bold any correspon- 
 dence with her. 
 
 Henry VII. being dead, one of the 
 first points that came under consulta- 
 tion, was, that the young l^i"? must 
 either break his marriage totally, or 
 conclude it. Arguments were brought 
 on both sides of the question; but 
 those fur it prevailed most with the 
 king; so that, in the beginning of 
 June, 15^)9, about six weeks after he 
 came to the crown, he was married 
 ugain publicly, and both he and the 
 queen were crowned on the 24th ol 
 that month. She had by him three 
 children, two sons, who died soon 
 after their birth, and one daughter, 
 Mary, afterwards queen of England, 
 born the 19th of February, 1515-16'; 
 besides which she had several niiscar- 
 ria*es; and at last, left off child- 
 bearing, and contracted some diseases, 
 which rendered her person less ac- 
 ceptable to the king, wiio, in 15^7, 
 began to avow his scruples of the mar- 
 riage with her, on account of her hav- 
 ing been his brother's widow, and to 
 consider the untimely death of his two 
 sonsis a curse from God upon that 
 marriage ; the lawfulness of which 
 appears likewise to have been ques- 
 tioned by foreigners. For the Em- 
 peror Charles V. who was affianced to 
 the Princess Mary, refused to marry 
 her upon I he council of Spain's doubl- 
 ing her legitimacy ; and after that, 
 when a marriage was in treaty between 
 that princess and Francis I. of France, 
 or his second son, the duke of Or- 
 leans, the bishop ofTarbe, the French 
 ambassador, made the same objection, 
 maintaining that she could not be 
 deemed bnrn in wedlock, notwith- 
 standing Pope Julius Il.'s dispensation. 
 It has been alleged indeed, that the 
 king's scruples did not disturb him till 
 he fell in love with Anne Boleyn, one 
 of the queen's maids of honour; and 
 tliat his doubts, concerning the va- 
 
 lidity of his marriage, sprung from 
 this new passion. But though there 
 was no great distance of time between 
 his resolution to obtain a divorce, and 
 the beginning of his love for Anne 
 Boleyn ; yet it might possibly be going 
 loo far to look upon it as a certain fact, 
 that he undertook the prosecntion of 
 her divorce, in order to marry that 
 lady. Being determined upon a di- 
 vorce, he applied himself to Pope 
 Clement VII, to obtain it; but the 
 pof)e being unwilling lo disoblige 
 Charles V. by granting it, to the pre- 
 judice of the queen, who was that 
 emperor's aunt, afilcted to use many 
 delays, though he was prevailed upon 
 to send Cardinal Campegio lo England, 
 to join with Cardinal Wolsey, as his 
 vicegerents for determining that affair. 
 The king and queen accordingly ap- 
 peared before these two legates on the 
 21st of June, 1529. when the queen, 
 kneeling down before the king, made 
 a very pathetic speech, declarinjj, 
 " That she was a poor woman, and a 
 " stranger in his dominions, where she 
 " could neither expect good council, 
 " nor impartial judges : That she had 
 " been long his wite, and desired to 
 "know wherein she had offended him: 
 " That she had been married to him 
 " twenty years and more, had borne 
 " him several children, and had ever 
 " studied to please him ; and protested 
 " that he had found her a true maid ; 
 "forwhich she appealed to his owncon- 
 " science. If she had done any thing 
 ''amiss, she was willing to be put 
 " away with shame. Their parents 
 " were esteemed very wise princes, and 
 "no doubt, had good counsellers and 
 " learned men abaut them, when the 
 " match was agreed. She would not 
 " therefore submit to that court ; nor 
 " durst her lawyers, who were his sub- 
 ejects, and assigned by him, speak 
 " freely f»r her." After this she with- 
 drew, and would never more appear, 
 nor suffer any person to defend h€i 
 cause. The king, finding the difficult 
 u Q 2
 
 S3'2 Literanj Curiosities, Epitaphs, Jl onderj'ul EientSy 
 
 of procuring a div«ace from tlie see | 
 of Rome, resolved, by the advice of 
 Cranmer, afterwards archbishop of 
 Canterbury, to consult all the uiiiver- 
 gities and most learned divines and 
 civilians in Europe, concerninj,' the 
 validity of Pope Julius's dispensation ; 
 most of whom determining against it, 
 iMid that his marriage uas unhiwful, 
 he married Anne Boleyn, and Bishop 
 Cranmer pronounced the sentence of 
 divorce on the '^3rd of May, 1533, 
 declaring the king's marriage with Ca- 
 tharine, null, and contrary to the law 
 of God. 'i'iiat queen continued still 
 infl.'xible, affirming that she would be 
 the king's wile, till the pope had nulitd 
 the marriage, and refused to be served 
 by any, who would not treat her as 
 <pieen. She had the jointure that was 
 assigned her as princess dowager. She 
 died at Kimbolton, in Hunlinsdon- 
 shire, on the Sth of January, 1o3j-6, 
 in the 31st year of her age ; and, be- 
 fore she expired, wrote a tender letter 
 to the king, advising him to look to 
 tiie health of his soul, and forgiving 
 liiiu all the troubles he had altticled 
 licr with. 
 
 She was a devout and pious prieccss. 
 and led a severe and mortili'ed life. In 
 Iter greatness she used to work much 
 with her own hands, and keej) her 
 women well employed about Jier, as 
 appeared when the two legates came 
 to speak to h.er; for she came out to 
 them with a skain of silk about lier 
 neck, and told them, she had been 
 within at work with her maids. But 
 she was most passionately devoted to 
 the interests of the court of Rome, 
 they being so interwoven with her own. 
 Jler body was interred in the cliurch 
 of Peterborough. 
 
 Anne Bolei/n, the Second Wife of 
 Kin^ Henry VIII. 
 
 A"NNE Pioleyn, wife of Ilenfy 
 "\'III. king of England, and memora- 
 ple for b«ing the cause of the relorma- 
 
 tion in this country, was the daughter 
 of Sir 'i honias Boleyii, and hoin in 
 the year 1507. She was carried into 
 France at seven \ears of age by 
 Henry VHI.'s sister, who «vas wife of 
 Lewis ,XII: nur did she return into 
 England, when that cjucen retired 
 thither after the deaih of her husband ; 
 but staid in the service ot Queen Clau- 
 dia, the wile of Frai.cis I. and afier 
 the death of that princess, went to 
 the duchess of Alenson. The year 
 of her return is not v\ ell known : some 
 will have it to Le in the year \o'27,^ 
 oiliers in tlie year 1525. Thus, much 
 is certain, that she was maid of honor 
 to Queen Catharine of Spain, Henry 
 VHI.'s tirst wife; and that the king 
 tell extremely in love with her. She 
 \ Oi havcd herself with so much art and 
 I address, that, by refusing to satisfy 
 I the king's passion, she brought him to 
 j think of marrying her: and the king 
 deceived by her into a persuasion, 
 that he should never enjoy her, unless 
 he made her his wife, was induced to 
 set on fool the affair of his divorce 
 with Catharine, which at last was 
 executed with a great solemnity and 
 form. In the mean time, Henry 
 could not procure a divorce from the 
 Pope; which, we know, made him 
 resolve at length to disown his autho- 
 rity, and to fimg otf his yoke. Never- 
 theless he married Anne Roleyn pri- 
 vately upon the 14th of November, 
 153-2, without waiting any longer for 
 a sentence from Rome against his 
 marriage with Catharine of Spain ; 
 and, as soon as he perceived tfiat his 
 new wife was with child, he made his 
 marriage public. He caused Anne 
 Boleyn to be declared queen of Eng- 
 land on Eastcr-eve, 1533, and to be 
 crowned the 1st of June following. 
 She was brought to bed, en the 7tH 
 of September, of a daughter, who 
 was afterwards Queen Elizabeth ; and 
 continued to be much beloved by the 
 king, till the charms of Jane Seymour 
 had fired that prisce's heart in the yeat
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, S^c. 333 
 
 153(). Then his love for his wife was 
 changed into violent hatred : he be- 
 lieved her to be unchaste, and canned 
 her to be imprisoned and tried. " She 
 " was indicted for high treason, for 
 " that she had procuied her brother 
 '' and four others to lie with her,w!iich 
 " they had done often ; that she had 
 " said to then), that tlie king never 
 " had her heart, and had said to every 1 
 " one of them hy themselves, that she j 
 " loved Uiin better than any person 
 " whatsoever, which was to the s!an- 
 *' der of the issue, that was begotten 
 " between the king and her. And this 
 *' was treason according to the statute 
 " made io the 26lh year of this reign ; 
 " so that the law, which was made for 
 " her and the issue of her marriage, 
 ** is now made use of to destroy her." 
 She was condemned to be either burnt 
 or beheaded ; and she underwent the 
 latter, on the J 9th of May, I53G. 
 The right reverend author of the 
 History of the Reformation; relates 
 some very remarkable things of her 
 behaviour during the time of her 
 imprisonment, and a little before her 
 execution. \Vhen she was imprison- 
 ed, she is said to have acted very 
 different parts; sometimes seeming 
 devout and shedding abundance of 
 tears, and then all of a sudden break- 
 ing out into a loud laughter, A few 
 hours before her death, she said, that 
 the executioner was very hand} : and 
 besides, that she had a very small 
 neck : at the same time feeling it with 
 her hands, and laughing heartily. 
 However it is agreed that she died 
 with great resolution, taking care to 
 spread her gown about her feet, that 
 she might fall with decency ; as the 
 poets have related of Polyxeno, and 
 the historians of Julius Caesar. Ro- 
 man catholic writers have taken all 
 occasions to rail at this unhappy wo- 
 man, as well through vexation of the 
 schism which she occasioned, as for 
 the sake of defaming and dishonouring 
 Queen Elizabeth by this means ; and 
 
 they have triumphed v«hemently, 
 that in the long reign of that queen, 
 no endeavours were used to justify 
 her mother. But either Queen Eliza- 
 beth or her ministers, are greatly to 
 be admired for prudence in this re- 
 spect ; since it it certain, that Anne 
 Bolcyn's justification could never 
 have been carried on, without dis- 
 covering many things, which" must 
 have been piejudicial to the queen, 
 and have weakened her right, instead 
 of establishing it. For though the lies 
 and slanders of the papists are in no 
 wise to be icgarded, yet many things 
 might have been said to her disadvan- 
 tage, without transgressing the laws 
 of true history, as, that she was a 
 woman gay even to immodesty, indis- 
 crete in the liberties she took, and of 
 an irregular and licentious behaviour. 
 
 Jane Seymour, the Third Wife of 
 King Henry VIII. 
 
 JANE Seymour was descended 
 of a very ancient family, whose an- 
 cestors came over to England with 
 William the conqueror, or soon after ; 
 and their name was, at first, written 
 St. Maur. I'he earliest residence of 
 this family, of which we find any ac- 
 count, was at Woundy and Penhow, 
 near Caldecot, in Monmouthshire; 
 but upon the marriage of Roger de St. 
 Maur, Knt. with Cecilia, one of the 
 daughters and heirs of John Beau- 
 champ, Baron of Hache, in the reign 
 of King Edward III. this family re- 
 moved into Somersetshire. The father 
 ef Queen Jane was Sir John Seymour, 
 of Wolf-hall, in Wiltshire, constable 
 of Bristol castle, and groom of the 
 chamber to KingHenry VIII. whom he 
 served in his wars in France and Flan- 
 ders. He married Margaret, daugh- 
 ter of Sir John Wentworth, of Nettle- 
 sted, in the county of Suffolk, by 
 whom he had six sons and four daugh- 
 ters. Jane, afterwards queen, was his 
 eldest daughter, and being maid pf
 
 334 Literarrf Curiosities^ EpitapJis^ Wonderful Events^ 
 
 honour to Queen Anne Boleyn, tlie 
 king, who was of a very amorous dis- 
 position, fell violently in love with 
 her in the year 1536. She was then 
 in all the chaims of youth and beauty, 
 and her humour was tempered be- 
 tween the severe gravity of Quetn 
 Catharine, and the gay pleasantness ni 
 Queen Anne. This nev,- passion of the 
 kin<; was not improbably the cau?e oi 
 the extreme jealousy, which he soon 
 after conceived of Ins queen ; whose 
 enemies finding that she held no longer 
 in his heart tliat place which she had 
 formerly enjoyed, instead of fearing to 
 accuse tier Hiifaithfuliiess to the king, 
 they believed they should please him, 
 who began to be himself unfaithful. 
 Thequeen therefore being condemned 
 for adultery, and executed on the 19th 
 of May, 1:53(); the king so little re- 
 garded the public opinion, or his own 
 reputation, that the day following, or, 
 as others say, three days after, he 
 solemnized his marriage with Jane 
 Seymour ; wherein he expressed a pas- 
 sion, which served greatly to justify 
 the deceased queen, or else, perhaps, 
 he tlioughl it not fit to mourn long, or 
 much, for one, whom the law had de- 
 clared criminal. The new queen, at 
 the ceremony of the marriage, made 
 a most beautiful appearance; Sir John 
 Russell, afterwards Earl of Bedford, 
 who was present at it, observed, that 
 the richer she was in clothes, the fairer 
 t-he appeared ; whereas the richer the 
 former queen (whether Catharine or 
 Anne, is not expressed) was apparel- 
 led, the worse she looked. Tlie par- 
 liament meeting on the 8th of June 
 following, an act was passed to settle 
 the ciow n, after the king's death, upon 
 the issue of Queen Jane,whefher male 
 or female, or of ajiy other queen whom 
 he might afterwards iriarry. But since 
 it was not fit to declare to whom the 
 succession of the crown belonged, 
 after the king's deaths lest the person, 
 so designed, might be thereby enabled 
 to raise troubles and commotions j 
 
 the parliament, considering the king's 
 wise and excellent government, and 
 cnnfiding in the love and affection 
 \vhich he bore to his subjects, gave 
 him full power to declare the succes- 
 sion to the crown, either by his letters 
 patent under the great seal, or by his 
 last will, signed with his hand; aiid 
 promised all faithful obedience to the 
 persons named by him. And if any, 
 so designed to succeed in default of 
 others, shotild endeavour to usurp on 
 those before them, or to exclude them, 
 they were declared, traitors, and were 
 to forfeit all the right they might here- 
 after claim to the crown. And ifany 
 should maintain the lawfulness of the 
 former marriages with Queen Catha- 
 rine and Queen Anne, or that the issue 
 of them was legitimate, or refused to 
 swear to the king's issue by Queen 
 Jane, they were also declared traitors. 
 This act shews how absolutely this 
 king reigned in England, though the 
 validity of it was much questioned, 
 and it was afterwards altered in the 
 35tli year of his reign, and repealed 
 in the first of queen Mary. 
 
 On the I2th of October 1537, 
 Queen Jane was delivered at Hampton 
 Court, of a prince, who was baptized 
 by the name of Edward, (the dukes 
 of Noifolk and Suffolk, and Cranmer, 
 archbishop of Canterbury being god- 
 fathers) and was afterwards king under 
 the title of Edward VI. Rut the joy 
 lor his birth was abated by the death 
 «f the queen, who died on the 14th 
 of that month, according to Hall, 
 Stow, Speed and Lord Herbert ; on 
 the I5ih according to Hennings ; or 
 on the 24th, as appears from a journal 
 written by Cecil. Some writers have 
 reported, tha-t the queen not being 
 able to be delivered of the prince, the 
 king ordered her belly to be opened, 
 raying, that he could find another wife 
 but was not sure to find another son. 
 But this account is without foundation 
 tor the prince was born in the ordi- 
 nary way ; and the queen was as well.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enii/mas, Epigrams, Poetri/, Sfr. 535 
 
 ihe day after, as any woman in her 
 condition could be ; of which there 
 are many proof?, the council writin; 
 letters over all England, giving notice 
 of her safe delivery, and of her gooo 
 health : but two or three days aftei 
 she was seized with a distemper, ordi- 
 nary to women in her condition, of 
 which she died, and was interred at 
 Windsor. The king greatly lamented 
 her death, having always found her 
 discreet, humble and loyal ; and his 
 grief for her is supposed to have been 
 the reason, why he continued two years 
 a widower ; though others thouoht, 
 that he had not so much tenderness 
 in his nature, as to be much or long 
 troubled for any thing; and there- 
 fore ascribed the delay of his marry- 
 ing k) some reasons of state. 
 
 Anne of Cleves, the Fourth Wife of 
 King Henry FIJI. 
 
 ANNE of Cleves, the fourth 
 wife of King Henry VIII. ivas the 
 daughter of John, duke of Cleves, in 
 Germany. Lord Cromwell project- 
 ed this match for the king. He 
 observed, that his royal master was 
 much swayed by his queens, as long 
 as his passion for them continued. 
 He thought, therefore, the most effec- 
 tual expedient for himself and his 
 friends was to negotiate an alliance 
 with some of the princes of Germany. 
 The Emperor had proposed Christiana, 
 duchess of Milan, to his majesty ; 
 and the king of Fiance had otTered 
 him the choice of any French lady. 
 But both these overtures failing, he 
 determined upon Lady Anne of 
 Cleves. The treaty of marriage had 
 been began with her father; but some 
 difficulties intervening it broke off. 
 Upon his death, it was revived with 
 Duke Will'am her brothe-. The lady% 
 picture, drawn by Hans Holbein, was 
 sent over to England. But this fa- 
 mous painter had bestowed the com- 
 mon coniphment of his art somcvvliat 
 too liberally on a lady, who was in a 
 
 way to be a queen. The duke of 
 Saxony indeed, who had njarried her 
 ^^liier sister, discouraged the match, 
 because the king was so backward iij 
 the reformation ; but Lord Crom- 
 well pursued it with a fatal assiduity. 
 It was said by those, who had seen the 
 lady, that she had considerable charms 
 n her person ; but she could speak 
 no language except Dutch, which the 
 King understood not; nor was she 
 bred to music, which he ajdmired ; and 
 was extremely defective in thosegraces 
 of behaviour and conversation, which 
 were most adapted to engage his in- 
 clination. 
 
 However the match was at length 
 concluded, and, in the end of De- 
 cember, I5:3£), she was brought over 
 to England, William Fitz-William?, 
 earl of Southampton, being sent with 
 a fleet of fifty «ail to attend her. 
 The king, impatient to see her, went 
 incognito to Rochester; but the sight 
 of her damped all his ardour. There 
 ippeared such an unpoliteness in her 
 person and manner, that he swore, 
 " They had brought over a Flanders 
 " mare to him ;" and immediately 
 conceived an incurable aversion to 
 her. He resolved to break off the 
 match, if possible; but his affairs 
 then rcquiriiig the friendship of the 
 li German princes, he did nut think it 
 jj advisable to put any affront upon the 
 jj dukes of Cleves and Saxony. The 
 jj emperor had at this time made an 
 il easy journey through France; where 
 jj he had a magnificent interview with 
 <\ Francis L by whom, as the king was 
 jj intormed. Bt the pope's instigation, a 
 project AVas forming against him. 
 Francis was also contriving how to 
 take Calais from him ; and it was easy 
 for him to have engaged the kin" of 
 Scotland against him, and the people 
 in the north were thought to retain 
 their formei dispo'-ition to rebel ; so 
 that a war made on the king in such 
 circunislances, would probably find 
 him at a great disadvantage. Thh
 
 336 Llterarif CnrlosU/fS, EpihrpJfS, Wonderful Events.^ 
 
 cnused him to be more tender of 
 ofFenciiiig the Germans; but hearing 
 thai there had been a contract between 
 Francis, son of the duke of Lorrain, 
 and his inteivJcd bride, he resolved to 
 try if that would furnisti him with a 
 fair excuse to break otf the match. 
 The clearing of this business was 
 committed lu Lord Cromwell, who 
 told the king, that an instrument for 
 releasing the covenants of m;iriiagc 
 between Lady Anne and the duke 
 of Lorrain's son was brought over. 
 But whether Cromwell was guilty of 
 an omission, or deceived by the duke 
 of Cleves's agent, is uncertain; fur 
 the German ambassador could pro- 
 duce no such instrument. However, 
 to give the king what satisfaction was 
 in their power,01eslcger, one of them, 
 offered to remain a prisoner till the 
 revocation of the contract should be 
 sent over. This failure in what was 
 expected made the king complain of 
 ill usuage; but the matter was refer- 
 red to the council-table, where Cran- 
 mer, archbishop of Canterbury, and 
 Tonstall, bishop of Durham, delivered 
 their opinion, that if nothing but a 
 contract had passed, the renunciation 
 above-mentioned would vacate the ar- 
 ticles, and restore the parties to their 
 former liberty, the contract being only 
 an agreement between the fathers, 
 when their children were under age. 
 As to the manner of this revocation, 
 each of the parlies were to declare 
 their release before persons of quality 
 and public notaries ; and their pro- 
 testing the articles void in this solemn 
 manner would be a sufficient discharge 
 in law. The duke of Cleves's com- 
 missioners engaged, that a form of 
 this kind in writing, procured from 
 Lheir master an^ the duke of Lorrain's 
 .son, should be put into the king's 
 hand; and the same declaration was 
 made by the lady at his majesty's in- 
 '-lance. 
 
 The affair being thus far advanced, 
 •ho king told Cromwell, there was now 
 
 no remedy nor evasion ; therefore ha 
 must of necessity put his neck in the 
 Viike, Accordingly en the 6"ih of 
 January, 1539-40, he married the 
 lady with the usual solemnity at Green- 
 wich, but expressed his dislike of her 
 so manifestly, that all about him took 
 notice of it. The next day he fold 
 Cromwell, that he had not consum- 
 mated the marriage, and believed he 
 never should. He suspected she was 
 no virgin, and intimated, that She had 
 such ungrateful smells about her, as 
 increased his aversion to an insuper- 
 able degree. This was a shocking 
 stroke to Cromwell, who well knew 
 how delicate the king was in these 
 matters; and that so great a misfortune 
 must fall heavy upon himself, who was 
 the thief promoter ol it. He knew 
 his enemies would draw great advan- 
 tages from it, and understood the 
 king's temper too well, to think his 
 power would last long, if he could 
 not induce him to like the queen bet- 
 ter. But this was not to be done; 
 for though the king lived five months 
 with her in that state, and very often 
 lay in the same bed with her, yet his 
 aversion rather increased than abated. 
 She seemed not much concerned at it; 
 and as their conversation was tiot very 
 great, so she was of heavy comjjo- 
 sition, and not much displeased to be 
 delivered from a marriage, in which 
 she had so little satisfaction, yet one 
 circumstance shews that she did not 
 want capacity ; for she learned the 
 English language very soon, and be- 
 fore her marriage was annulled, spoke 
 it very readily. At last the king was 
 resolved to part with her; for which 
 purpose, when the instrument was 
 brought over, to shew that the con- 
 tract between her and the prince of 
 Lorrain was made void, his majesty's 
 council took some advantage, because 
 it was not declared, whether the con- 
 tract was in the words of the present 
 or the future tense, and determined to 
 make use of this defect upoti a proper
 
 Tnieresting Narratirefi, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, 8fC. 337 
 
 occasion. On the 24th of June, 1540, 
 liie king sent the queen to Ricliinond, 
 {)reten(ling, that the country air woiilo 
 aeiee better with her; and on the 6th 
 of July, the House of Lords resolved 
 upon an address to him, that he woiJd 
 euftor his niarriage to be fried. Upon 
 which, the archbishop of Canterbury, 
 the h>rd chanc. llor, and othsrs, were 
 sent flown to desire tite concurrence of 
 the commons, who ordered twenty of 
 their number to go ah)ng with the 
 peers in one body to the king. Tiie 
 matter btin" concerted before, he 
 granted their request, and they ap- 
 pointed a committee for examination 
 of witnesses. The substance of the 
 whole evidence amounted to these 
 particulars; that the matter of the 
 pre-contr.ict between the cpieen and 
 the prince of Lorrain was not fully 
 cleared ; that the king had married 
 her against his will, without any in- 
 ward consent ; and that he never bv. I 
 consummated the msrriage, so that 
 they saw he could have no issue by 
 the queen. Upon these grounds the 
 whole convocation with one .M»nser.t 
 annulled the marriage, and declared 
 both parties free; which was the gros- 
 sest compliance that the king had from 
 his clergy in his whole reign. For as 
 they knew, that there was nothing 
 material in the pre-contract, so by va- 
 cating the marriage, because tlie con- 
 sent was not internal and free, they 
 made a most pernicious precedent f».r 
 breaking all public treaties. But in 
 reality the king was determined to be 
 freed from the queen, and the clergy 
 resolved not to incur his displeasure ; 
 and they rather sought out reasons to 
 give colour to their sentence, thai 
 passed it ou the force of these reasons 
 The judgmeiit of the convocation with 
 the ground of it, being reported to the 
 parliament on the 10th of July, bith 
 houses remained satisfied. The day 
 following, some lords were sent to the 
 queen at Richmond, to inform her, 
 that the king would, by letters patent, 
 
 declare her nis " adopted sister," and 
 settle three thousand pounds a \ ear 
 upon tier, if she would consent to it ; 
 which ^he checfuiny embraced. And 
 it beiiig ieft to her choice, either to 
 live in EniWand or reriirn to her 
 brother, sue preferred the former, 
 and was likewise prevailed upon to 
 write to iiim, tliat ali this was done 
 with her free will ; that his majesty 
 had used her like a father ; and that 
 he, and the other allies in Geriuany 
 should not take the matter amiss, or 
 lessen their friendship to the king. She 
 continued in England till her death, 
 which happened July the i?6th, 1557, 
 at her house in Ciielsea, and was in- 
 terred on the 3d of August, with 
 ;^'reat solemnity, on the south side of 
 the choir in Westminster abbey. 
 
 Catharine Howard, the fifth Wife 
 of Kins^ Henri/ VIII. 
 
 CATHARINE How?rd, the fifth 
 wife of King Henry VHI. was 
 daughter of Lord Edmund Howard, 
 (third son of Thomas, duke of 
 N'orfoik) by Joyce, daughter of Sir 
 Richard Culpepiier, of H 'ingbourne 
 ill Kent, Kniglii.. Her n iher dying 
 whilst she wd« young, she was edu- 
 cated under the care of her grand- 
 mother, the fluchess dowacer of 
 Norfolk ; and when she grew up, the 
 t harms of her person soon captivated 
 the affections of the king, who, upon 
 'is divorce from Anne of Cleves, mar- 
 ried this lady , and on the 8th of Au- 
 gust, 1540, shewed her publicly as 
 queen. But this marriage proved of 
 tie utmost prejudice to the cause of 
 the ref .irfuation, which had before be- 
 gun to spread itself in the kingdom ; 
 for tlie queen being absolutely guided 
 by the counsels of the duke of Nor- 
 folk, her uncle, and Gardner, bishop 
 of Winchester, used all the power slie 
 had over the king, to support the eue- 
 •nies of fhe prol( siant party. In the 
 summer of the. year 1541, she ac- 
 
 X X
 
 558 Litercmi Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wouderful Events, 
 
 ^ended liis luajesty to York, to meet 
 his iiepiicw, the kii)ii of Scotlaud, wlio 
 had promised to yive him an interview 
 ill that city, but was diverted from tiial 
 Fesohition by his clergy, and a mes- 
 sage from the court of France, (hiring 
 vvhich progress she gained so intire an 
 ascendant over the king's heart, that 
 at his return to London, on all-saint's 
 day, when he received the sacrament, 
 he gave public thanks to God for the 
 happiness which he enjoyed by her 
 mean's; and desired lii^ confessor, the 
 bisi!Uj>or Lincoln, to join with him in 
 the like thanksgiving. 
 
 Bnt this proved a very short-lived 
 satisfaction; for the next day, Cran- 
 nier, archbishop of Caiiterbnry, came 
 to him with a melancholy representa- 
 tion of the queen's lewd life, as it had 
 been brought to liini by one John La- 
 sells, who, while the king was in his 
 progress, had told him from his sister, 
 an old servant belongiiig to the du- 
 chess dowager nf Norfolk, and con- 
 cerned ill the queen's education, that 
 the queen had been often criminal wilh 
 Francis Dierham and Mannftck, two 
 of that iluchess's domestics. By the 
 advice of the lord chancellor, and 
 other privy counsellors, tlie archbishop 
 set <i()wn the particulars in a paper, 
 wliich he delivered to the king, as not 
 well knowing how to open a uiafter of 
 so delicate a nature in discourse. When 
 the king read it, he was much con- 
 founded; tor lie loved the queen so 
 lendtily, that lie at first looked upon 
 it as mere forgery ; so that if fuU evi- 
 denre had been wantinjr, it had cer- 
 tainly turned to the archbishop's ruin. 
 ]Iowever, his majesty imparted the 
 matter to some other counsellors, and 
 with the utmost secrecy sent to ex- 
 amine Lasseis and his sister ; who con- 
 firming the account, he ordered Dier- 
 ham and Mannock to be arrested upon 
 some other pretences. They being 
 examined, not only confessed what 
 was laid to their charge, but revealed 
 >t)me oth^r circumstances, thai shewed 
 
 the queen had laid aside all sense of 
 modesty, as well as fear of a discovery, 
 three icveral women having been wit- 
 nesses to her vicious practices. This 
 report struck the king into a most pro- 
 found pensiveness, and caused him to 
 lament his misfortui>e with a flood of 
 tears. The archbishop and some other 
 counsellors were sent to examine the 
 queen, who at tirst denied every thing; 
 hut finding the affair was already 
 known, she confessed all, and set her 
 hand to it. It ajipeared likewise, that 
 she had isitended to continue in that 
 scandalous course of life; for she had 
 brought Dierham into her service, so 
 she had retained oae of the women, 
 who had formerly been privy to their 
 familiarities, to attend upon her in her 
 bed-chamber; and, wliile the kiiig 
 was at Lincoln, one Culpepper was, 
 by Lady Rcchford's means, brought 
 to her at eleven at night, and stayed 
 with her until four the next morning, 
 and at his departure received from her 
 a gold chain. Culpepper being ex- 
 amined, confesswl the crime, for which 
 he, with Dierham, iuffered death on 
 the 10th of December. 
 
 This unfortunate afiair occasioned 
 a new parliament to be summoned on 
 the 15'th of January, 1541-2, in 
 which the archbishop, the duke of 
 Suflblk, the earl of Southampton, and 
 the bishop of Winchester, were ap- 
 pointed to examine the queen, which 
 they did on the 28th of that month. 
 Their report is recorded only in general 
 that she confessed; but no particulars 
 are mentioued. Upon this the parlia- 
 ment passed an act in the form of a 
 petition, in whicli, after desiring the 
 king not to be grieved at this misfor- 
 tune, I hey requested, that the queen 
 and her accomplices, with her pro- 
 curess Lady Rochford, might be 
 attainted of high treason ; and that 
 all those, who knew of liie queen's 
 vicious course before her marriage, 
 and had concealed it, a« the duciiess 
 dowager of Norfolk, hir grand-
 
 Interdsihtff Nan^a fives, Etihjmas, Epigrams, Poetry, S^c. S39 
 
 mother, the countess of Bridgwater, 
 Lord William Howard her iincif, 
 and his ladj, with the four other intr. 
 and five women, who were already 
 attainted by tlie course of coninion 
 law, (except the duchess of Norfolk 
 and the countess of Bridgewaler,) 
 might be attainted of misprison of 
 treason. It was enacted also, thai 
 whoever knew any thing of the incoiv 
 tinence of the queen for the time be- 
 ing, should reveal it with all possible 
 speed, under the pains of treason; 
 and that if the king, or his successors, 
 should incline to marry any woman, 
 whom they took to be a virgin ; if she, 
 not being so, did not declare the same 
 to the king, it should be high treason ; 
 and all who knew it, and did not re- 
 veal it, were guilty of misprison of 
 treason ; and if the queen or the 
 prince's wife, should procure any per- 
 son, by messages or words, to have 
 criminal conversation with her; or 
 any other, by messages or words, 
 should solicit them ; they, their coun- 
 sellors, and abettors, were to be ad- 
 judged guilty of high treason. 
 
 This remarkable act being passed, 
 the queen and Lady Rochford were 
 beheaded on Tower-hill on the 1 2th of 
 February, about seventeen months 
 after she had been married to the king. 
 The queen confessed the miscarriages 
 of her former life before marriage, 
 which had brought her to X\m fatal 
 end; but protested to Dr. White, 
 afterwards bishop of Winchester, that 
 she took God and his angels to be her 
 witness, upon the salvation of her soul, 
 that she was guiltless of the charge of 
 defiling her sovereign's bed. Yet the 
 unbounded looseness of her former 
 course of living inclined the world to 
 feelieve the most scandalous things that 
 could be reported. But ail observed 
 the judgment of heaven upon Lady 
 Kochford, who had been tiie principal 
 irvstrument iu the death of Queen 
 Anne Boleyn, her sister-in-law, and 
 Ihnt of her ©wn husband : and her 
 
 appearing now so enormously profli' 
 gate, tended mucli loiaiso their repu* 
 tations agaip, in whose fall her malice 
 and artifices had so great a share. It 
 was thought, however, extremely 
 ciuel to shew such extraordinary se- 
 verity against the queen's kiiidred, for 
 not discovering her former ill life, 
 since the making snrh a discovery 
 would have been a very hard instance 
 of duty. The duchess dowager of 
 Norfolk being her grandmother, had 
 educated \.ex from a child ; and it was 
 said, that for her to hav(4 acquainted 
 the king with her grandmother's lewd 
 behaviour, when lie intended to marry 
 her, as it was an unheard-of thin?, so 
 the not doing it could not have drawn 
 so high a punisJiment from any but a 
 prince of the king's temper. However, 
 he pardoned her, and most of the rest, 
 though some continued in prison after 
 others were discharged. The other 
 provi-<o, which obliged a young lady 
 to discover her own frailties, if hjs 
 majesty should please to make love to 
 her, seemed likewise a grievous piece 
 of tyranny; since if a king, es[)ecially 
 one of so imperious a disposition a£ 
 Henry VUI. should design such an 
 honour to any of his subjects, who 
 had failed in their former life, they 
 must either disgrace themselves by 
 publishing so odious a secret, or run 
 the hazard of being afterwards attaint- 
 ed of high treason. Upon this, some 
 persons, who were inclined to rally 
 tke sex, took occasion to say, " that 
 after such a regulation, no one, re- 
 puted a virgin, could be induced to 
 marry the king ;" and therefore it was 
 not so much choice lis necessity, that 
 caused him to nrarry a widow two 
 yeaj-s after. But this part of the act 
 was afterwards repealed in the first 
 parliament cf King Edward VI, 
 
 Catharine, Parr, Sixth and Last 
 Wife, of King Benrj/ VIII. 
 
 C ATH AR INE Parr,was the daugh- 
 ter of Sir Thomas Parr, and wife ot 
 X X 2
 
 3-10 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events^ 
 
 Ihe late Nevil Lord Latimer ; she re- 
 ceived acoordiiii> to the custom of that 
 age, a learned education, and was 
 considered as a woman of discretion 
 and virtue. King Henry VIH. onc(' 
 more changed his condition by marry- 
 ing her, ill two >ears alter the death 
 of the last queen; she iiad already 
 passed tiie meridian of life, and man- 
 aged this c M)ricious tyrant's t^inper 
 with prudence and success. Slie was 
 a friend of :lie reformation, on wijich 
 account. Bishop Gardner and others, 
 zealous of the K(.niish chiuch, endea- 
 voured to etlfecl ho.' ruin, but b> her 
 prudence, preserved the king's favour 
 to his death. In 1547, Catharine 
 married Sir Thomas Se\niour, lord 
 admiral of England wiio treated her 
 so ill, that she died the year following, 
 1548; she wrote a number of prayers, 
 meditations, and other religious pieces. 
 
 Epigram. 
 
 YOUR comedy I have read my frieujj. 
 And lilie the half y on pilfer'd be«t ; 
 
 But sure, tjie drama you might mend, 
 Talie courage, man, and steal the rest. 
 
 Bruna and Lemona. 
 
 LEMONA vvasd.augh(erof Hu.lda the brave, 
 
 Whose throne was exalfed on high ; 
 His gold and his silver fiD'd many a cave. 
 His nobles were hanghty , but each as a slave 
 Obey'd the least dart of his eye. 
 
 Lemona was tall, and Lemona was Tair, 
 Her ringlets fell over her shoulder, 
 
 Like 'he silver- w'ing'd dove was the smooth 
 of her hair. 
 
 Her ancles were taper, her elbows were bare ; 
 O! it made the heart beat to behold her. 
 
 Lemona bad huntsmen and hounds in her 
 train. 
 And of silver-shod horses a score ; 
 Her palfrey was grey, and of silk was his 
 
 rein 
 He cbamp'd bis gold bit, as he pranc'd on 
 the plain, 
 And seem'd proud of the burden he bore. 
 
 Lemona was happy : for Bruno, the son 
 Of a rich and a mighty great earl. 
 
 Had sigh'd, and had knelt, and her bfart he 
 had won, 
 
 As she sat on lier seat by the rivers that run 
 Through bridges of mother of pearl. 
 
 Quick throbbings, quick throbbings swell d 
 thick in her tJreast ; 
 She gave a consent with a falter ; 
 The priests were assembled in surplices 
 
 dress'd. 
 Young Bruno most cheerly the dam-e' 
 carf-.-i-j'd. 
 As they waik'd up the aisle to the altar. 
 
 The palace was crowded i\\e chandeliers 
 shfir.e, 
 The ivoi y fables were spread ; 
 The bfide and Ibe bridegrooui were plac«l 
 
 on a tiuone, 
 Which entireiy was form'd of a large onyx- 
 stone, 
 With a canopy over their head. 
 
 Now the laugh shakes the hall, and the 
 ruddy wine flows ; 
 Who, wlio is not merry and gay? 
 Lemona is bnppy, for little siie knows 
 <Jf the monster so grim that lay hush'd in 
 repose, 
 Expecting his evening prey ! 
 
 While the music play'd sweet, and wifj^ 
 trippings so light, 
 Bruno danced through the maze of the 
 ball, 
 Lemona retired, and her damsels in white 
 Led her up to her chamber, then wished 
 her ' good night," 
 And went down again to the hall. 
 
 The monster of blood now extended his 
 paws, 
 And from under the bed did he creep ; 
 With blood-clots besmear'd henowslretch'd 
 
 out hi? claws, 
 With blood-clots besmear'd he now open'd 
 his jaws. 
 To feed on the virgin asleep. 
 
 ; He siezed on a vein, and he gave snch a bite, 
 
 And he gave with his fangs such a tug. 
 
 She scream'd — Bruno ran up the stairs in a 
 
 fright — 
 The guests foHow'd after — when brought 
 to the light, 
 Lord ha' mercy ! they cried what a bug ! ! ! 
 
 Epitaph on a Bailiff. 
 
 CLOSE caged here a bailiff lies. 
 Without bail, without mainprise: 
 An active member of the law 
 He was, for oft he made a claw. 
 As others take, he never took 
 Men's hands, for he their shoulders shook. 
 'Gainst him at last fate issued out 
 His writ ; — Death was to execute : 
 He came, and on the shoulder clapp'd him : 
 " My prisoner, friend !"— and here eutrapp'4 
 hiva.
 
 Interesting Narratives^ En iff mas, Epif/rains, Poefri;, %c. 341 
 
 The Irish Wati kman; or, a [ihyme 
 witliout a Bull. 
 
 DURIN'G the time of Dean Swift, 
 a wiitchman of t!ie disdict in Dublin 
 where the dean resided, was vei v fond 
 on part''"iilHr ncrabirtiis, of espressinjj 
 himself ill rhyme. The dean had fre- 
 quently heard him, and noticed tha' 
 a certain characteii>(ic of ihe countr . 
 strongK marked all h:s etforfs at v\ir. 
 However, willing to t:ncoiirii;.'e a brc 
 tlier poet, he one day -ient for him, and 
 told this eccentric watchniiin, if ■':■ 
 would in t.he course of that ni<j! >, 
 (whici* happened on the .5tii of ',..- 
 veniher) make a snit-ibie rh^rnie wish- 
 out a bull, he (the dean) would in ikc 
 him a present of ha!f-n-crown in the 
 morning. This proposition was gi nil- 
 accepted, and the enripfured b;ir : 
 anxiouslv waited the approach ofnia.i 
 that he might convince Dr. Jj.iatha." 
 he was not so nuuh of an Irisiiman as 
 he had taken him to be. Win ti.er he 
 had not exactly polished his p\ -Juc- 
 tion to his mind sooner or not, is un- 
 certain ; but it is was two in the morn- 
 ing before he attem|)ted publicly to 
 poetize, when he loudly vociferated 
 the following lines, which the listennig 
 dean could not have heard but wim 
 strong emotions of laughter : 
 •' To-night^s the day, I speak it with great 
 
 " sorrow, 
 " That we were all to be blown up to- 
 
 *' morrow ; 
 " So pray take care of fire and candle-li^L';. 
 '* Past two in the morning, — and I wish 
 
 " you all a good night P' 
 
 Unconsciotis of his blunders, it is 
 said that this learned Pat. waited on 
 the dean in the morning, claimed the 
 reward of his poetical labour, and, 
 more for its novelty than otherwise, 
 had his claim allowed. 
 
 Epigram, 
 PAINTERS at a certain subject stick, 
 They know not how to form old nick ; 
 With cloven feet they often draw him, 
 And sometimes horn him, tail him, claw him 
 Pshaw nonsense all ; if 'tis n't uncivil, 
 Praw Delia frowning— that 'e the deviJ, 
 
 Outivitted I.Iagisiraie. 
 
 A PLEASANT y.ung fellow, about 
 half seas over, pa^sin^ throu;;li ihe 
 Strand at a laie hcur, v.a- accos;ft(i 
 by a wr.tchman, wiiobegR-., v.itli all 
 the infolcnce of olhce, to file a string 
 of interrOL'atories, in tiie hopes of 
 bein* bandsonsely paid for his labor; 
 •What is your name, sir?" — "Five 
 shillings." — " Where do you live ?" — 
 " Out of the kiiig's «!oi<iinions." — 
 " Where have you been i" — " Where 
 yon would wish to havt been." — 
 " \^'here are you going?" — "Where 
 - on <)are not go for yoi;r ears." The 
 
 h'ious guardian of the night thought 
 'liise 5i"..swer5 SMfficient to warrant 
 •iim to take tiie young n)an to tiie 
 watch house- The next motning, on 
 being brought before the n;;'.gistrate, 
 hf jold his worship " that as to the 
 iirst question., liis name vas Iht^i ^as 
 Crown ; with regard to the stcojid, he 
 llvtd in Little Britain; wi!h resj/cct 
 t> the third, he hjid been drinking a 
 glass of w ine with a friend ; and 
 that as to tlie last," said lie, " I was 
 goiu" to bed to my wife." The 
 justice repremanded the wa*chnian in 
 severe terms, and wished Mr. Crown 
 a very good morning. 
 
 Epitaph on a Barber's Boy. 
 
 HERE lies in blooming ycnth, a barber'* 
 
 boy, 
 Hi'; master's grief now dead, alivfe his joy ; 
 Ris razor scarcely tonch'd the tender shin, 
 So sweetly soft he sh-'^'d the bearded chia ; 
 O gentle earth ! tie lightly on his grave, 
 Then canst not lie so light as he could shav^. 
 
 Biddi7ig more. 
 
 A CELEBRATED actor lately one 
 evening went into an auction-room, 
 while the knight of the hanmier, with 
 the cry of " a-goiug, a-going ; who 
 bids more?" made the streets echo. 
 The Vv'ag, pushing thrfeugh the crowd, 
 gravely said, "I will bid more." — 
 " How much, Sir?"—" Why, I'll bid 
 you gf}od-nightr aud walked off.
 
 3-ti? Liierari/ CJuriositws^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Misconception. 
 
 ERE uigbt her sable curtaiii spread, 
 Ere Phffibus had retir'd lo bed, 
 
 In Thetis' lap ; 
 Ere drowsy v a'cbnuu yet bad (a'en. 
 
 Their early n:.\u 
 A wi^bt, l)y hungry fiend made bold, 
 To farmer Fi(z Rlaiirice's fold, 
 
 Did slily creep ; 
 Where nnmerons flocks were quiet laid, 
 
 la th' arms of sleep. 
 
 No dcubt the sheep he meant to steal, 
 tut, hapIei'S, close behind his heel, 
 
 Was ploughman Joe ; 
 \?ho just arriv'd in time to stop, 
 
 The murd'rous blow. 
 
 May ill luck and ill actions wait ! 
 The felon must to justice straight, 
 
 Be dragg'd per force ; 
 Where prosecutors urge bis guilt. 
 
 Without reraori-e. 
 
 With fear o'erwhclm'd the victim 8tand«, 
 Anticipates the dread commands. 
 
 From til' eibow chair ; 
 Where justice sits in solemn state. 
 
 With brow austerre. 
 
 f' Bogue I what excuse hast thou for this ? 
 " For to old Gilbert Fitz Maurice, 
 
 ♦• Thou knew'st full well ; 
 '< The sheep within that fold belonged, 
 
 " Come, quickly tell. — 
 
 " Confess thy crime, 'twill naught avail, 
 " To say the mark above the tail, 
 
 " Thou did'^t not heed ; 
 " Fm- G. F. M, in letters large, 
 
 " Thou plain might's read." 
 
 "'Tistrue, I did," the thief replies, 
 " But man is not at all times wise, 
 
 " As I'm a glutton ; 
 ♦',1 clearly thought that G. F. M. 
 
 " Meant Good Fat Mutton." 
 
 A Sea Horse. 
 
 THEeaptain of a West Tndiaman 
 wished to buy a horse. Afier the pur- 
 chase was made, the captain said, 
 *' Weil, now the horse is mine, pray 
 tell me candidly whether he has any 
 faults, and what they are." — " What 
 do you mean to do with him V said 
 the other. " Why to take him to sea," 
 answered the captain. " Then I will 
 be candid," replied the dealer: "' he 
 may go very well at sea, but on land 
 he cannot go at all, or I would not 
 have sold him." 
 
 K^. aching out an /. 
 
 A CELEBRATED Irish advocate 
 was walkiRo; one day with a friend, 
 who was extremelj punctilious in his 
 conversation ; and hearing a cockney 
 iietir him sai^ curosity for curiosity, he 
 exclainierl, " How that man murder's 
 the English language." — "Not so." 
 replied the advocate ; " He has only 
 knocked an / out." 
 
 Swift Spirit. 
 
 AS Thomaa was cudgell'd one day by hii 
 
 wife, 
 He look to his heels and ran for his life ; 
 Tom's three dearest friends came by in the 
 
 squabble, 
 And screen'd him at once from the shrew 
 
 and the rabble; 
 Then ventur'd to give him some wholesome 
 
 advice, 
 But Tom is a fellow of honour so nice; 
 Too proud to take counsel, too wise to take 
 
 warning. 
 That he sent them all three a challopge next 
 
 morning; 
 He fought with all three, and thrice ven- 
 
 tiir'd bis life, 
 Then went home, and was cudgell'd again 
 
 by his wife. 
 
 A double Bull. 
 
 TWO gentlemen passing a black, 
 berry-bush when the fruit was unripe, 
 one said il "was ridiculous to call them 
 black-hexnes when they were red." — 
 " Don't you know,'' said his friend, 
 " that blackberries are always red 
 when they are g-j'cm ?" 
 
 Old Anagrams. 
 
 ARRESTING %ery well with this agrees, 
 II is a STINGER worse than waspi or bees ; 
 The very word includes the prisoner's fees. 
 Arresting briefly claps them up IN GRATES. 
 
 To all good verses PRISONS are great foes. 
 And many poets they keep fast IN PROSE ; 
 Again, this very word portends small hopes 
 lor he that is in prison, is IN ROPES, 
 Makes woeful purchase of calamities. 
 And finds il in no profit, or NO PRlSR; 
 Filth, cold, and hunger, dwell within the 
 
 door. 
 And thus a prisoa doth NIP SORE,
 
 Interesting Narratives, Emgmas, Epigrams^ Voetrij^ ^c. 343 
 
 A remarkable Suicide which happened 
 at Lyons, 1770. 
 
 A YO UNG man, well kuow n in tliat 
 city, handsome, well made, of an amia- 
 ble disposition, and very accomplish- 
 ed, fell in love with a young womaji, 
 whose parents refused their consent to 
 his proposals of marriage. The lover, 
 ill an agonizing; fit, broke a blood ves- 
 sel, the surgeon declared there was no 
 remedy to stop the bleeding ; his mis- 
 Uess found the means of getting an 
 interview with her lover, and jnesent- 
 ed him with a brace of pistols, and 
 two poiguards, that in case the former 
 should fail, tlie latter might certainly 
 dispatch them ; they embraced eacij 
 other tenderly for the last lime ; the 
 triggers of both the pi«toIs were fas- 
 tened to rose-coloured ribbons ; the 
 lover took hold of the ribbon of that 
 which was designed to despatch his 
 mistress, she held that designed for 
 her lover ; at a signal agreed upon, 
 they both fired at the same time, ajid 
 both instantly fell down dead. 
 
 Westminster Magazine, 1780. 
 
 The farther in, t/te deeper. 
 ALDERMAN Faulkner in bis 
 journal announced the accouch- 
 ment of " ha- grace the duke of 
 Dorset." Next day it was thus cor- 
 rected : " For /icr grace the duke of 
 Dorset, read his grace the dvche^ss 
 
 of Dorset." • 
 
 Gold and Paper. 
 
 AT a fashionable whist-party, a 
 lady having won a rubber of twenty 
 guineas, the gentleman who was her 
 opponent puUed out his pocket-book 
 and tendered twenty-one pounds in 
 bank-notes. Tiie fair gamester ob- 
 served, with a diidciinfu! toss of her 
 head, " hi the great houses which I 
 frequent, sir we always use gold." — 
 " That may be, madam," replied the 
 gentleraan, " but in the litlie houses 
 which 1 frequent, we always tisc 
 paper." 
 
 David Bek. 
 
 DAVID Bek, a celebrated portrait 
 painter, was born at Delft m Holland, 
 it is said, that when he was upon a 
 journey in Germany, he was seized 
 with a fit of illness, and at length 
 every body about hiin thinking him 
 dead, they undressed him, and laid 
 bim upon some straw in a room where 
 two of his servants were drinking; 
 "pun which one of them i)roj)osed 
 that, as he had no avlMsion to wine 
 when living, he would give him gome 
 uow he was dead, and accordingly 
 held the. glass to his lips, when the 
 smell o{ the wine putting his spirits in 
 inotion he sipped som« of it ; the ser- 
 vant, though greatly amazed, still 
 held the glass to his mouth, and he 
 again sipped, and thus came by de- 
 grees to himself. 
 
 He lived several years after, and 
 died at the Hague in i655". 
 
 Brooke's Dictionary of the World. 
 
 On Wit. 
 
 AS in smooth oil the razor bc.-t is wet, 
 So wit is by politeness sharpest set ; 
 Their want of ed^e from iheiroli'unce is seen, 
 Both pain as least wurn exquii^itely keen. 
 
 Tlieatrical Bon Mot. 
 
 SOON after the appearance of Mr. 
 Garrick at the theatre of Drury Lane, 
 when he, by his astonisfiing powers, 
 drew all the town to that place of en- 
 tertainment, and Mr. Rich was play- 
 ing pantomimes at Covent Garden, to 
 empty benches — thes- two gentlemen 
 met one morning at tiie Bedford 
 coffee-house. Tli«y soon fell into 
 conversation, and Mr. G. asked the 
 Covent Garden manager how much 
 his house would hold when crowded 
 with company. " ^Vhy, master,' re- 
 plied Mr. Rich, in as elegant a cora- 
 plimcnt a^ ever was giiH?n, " Why, 
 master, I cannot tell ; bnt if you will 
 come and play Rachard for one night, 
 I shall be able to give you an account!''
 
 544 Lifpran; Ciiriosifjes^ Epitaphs, Woiiderftd Erents, 
 
 Absence. 
 
 SWEET pirl ! since you left me and went 
 
 out ortowti, 
 I scarce ntfer n word, and I consfanfly 
 
 fro%vQ ; 
 Asforbiisincss, or pleasure, I think them 
 
 but folly. 
 And while olliers are laugiiing, I'm quite- 
 
 nrielancholy. 
 
 When 1 waks in the morning, I turn mc 
 
 around. 
 But, alas! my lov'dSnsanisnottfthefonnd; 
 When yoiir pillow unpress'd makes your 
 
 alisence quite certain, 
 I curse blanket '< and sheets, and swear at 
 
 the curtain. 
 
 When I leap out of bed, still your iaaage 
 
 bewitches, 
 I'm at least twenty minntes in finding nij 
 
 breeches; 
 And after I'm dress'd a full hour or more, 
 I find tbey are button'd the wrong side 
 
 before. 
 
 Ah ! .Susan, at breakfast, how happy we've 
 
 been. 
 O'er the fragrant infusion of eight-shilling 
 
 green, 
 While rapture attended on every sip. 
 And I envied the cup the soft iouch of your 
 
 lip.. 
 
 But now on my table T carelessly loll, 
 
 My appetite's gone — I can scarce eat a roll : 
 
 And I cannot help thinking while drinking 
 
 my tea. 
 That the white sugar's brown, and the 
 
 hyson — bohea. 
 
 it dinner— whenever yonr eye glanc'd a 
 
 wi«h, 
 Tow'rds the hot roasted fowl — how I seiz'd 
 
 on the dish. 
 Then sent you a wing, and a bit of the 
 
 breast — 
 For fancy still whisper'd me what you iik'd 
 
 best. 
 
 Bat now I'm so stupid, I care not a button, 
 Who carves out the beef, or who cuts up 
 
 the mutton — 
 I spill butler and gravy all over the cloth, 
 And when porter I drink — rnn my nose in 
 
 the froth. 
 
 The sofa, on which we've so often beeuil'd. 
 The lingering hours, while you listened 
 
 and^Diii'd; 
 Till rapture its teaderest language would 
 
 speak, 
 Ani the >mt^ of delight I have hiss'd from 
 
 your r,h*»ek. 
 
 Sweet sola! farevsell, for thy intlueace is 
 
 o'er, 
 The lingering hours now but linger the 
 
 more ; 
 And with tears of dt light my eye never 
 
 o'erfiows, 
 For I've got a had <^o!J and they run from 
 
 my nose. 
 
 Then bastoback to town, my sweet Susan 
 
 and prove. 
 AH the whimsical pleasares that wait upon 
 
 love; 
 Our days shall be pass'd in frolicksome 
 
 flirting. 
 And as for ojir nights !— hut I here drop 
 
 the curtajn. 
 
 Epitaph on a Newfoundland Dog, 
 
 NKARthis?pot 
 
 Are deposited the remains of one 
 
 Viho possessed beauty without vanity, 
 
 Strength without insolence, 
 
 CouRige without ferocity, 
 
 And alltlie virtnips of man without his vices. 
 
 This praise, which would be usmeauiug 
 
 flattery if inscribed over Imiaan ashes, 
 Is but a just tribute to the memory of 
 
 BoAiswAiN, a Dog, 
 Who was born in Newfoundland, May 1808» 
 And died at London, Nov. 18, 1813. 
 
 On genuine Wit. 
 
 TRUE wit is liVe the brilliant stone, 
 
 Dug from Golconda's mine; 
 Which boasts two various powers in one. 
 
 To cat as well as shine. 
 
 Geniu?, like that, if polisli'd right, 
 With the same gifts abounds; 
 
 Appears at once both keen and bright. 
 And sparkles while it wounds. 
 
 An Epigram. 
 
 WHAT epithets, exclaims a clown, 
 
 To womankind belong! 
 Some are called women of the toivn, 
 
 Some ladies of the ton. 
 
 The diff'rence it is hard to trace. 
 Though ditf'rence still there's some ; 
 
 The w boldly one displays, 
 
 The other plays it mum. 
 
 CARD-TABLE EPITAPH. 
 
 On a Lady ruined by a Frequenter of Cluls, 
 
 CLARINDA reigned the queen of hearts, 
 Like sparkling diamonds were her eyes ; 
 
 'Till through the knave of c/«t',« false arts. 
 Here bedded by a spade she lies.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas^ Epigrams, Poetry^ $^c. 345 
 
 An Acconnt of the jS or th- American 
 Indians Barbarity to their Captives. 
 IT has been lone: too feelinglv 
 known, that instead of observinji the 
 generous and hospitable part cf the 
 laws of war, and saving tlie unfortn 
 nate who fall into their power, thai 
 they generally devote their captives to 
 death, with the most agonizini! tor 
 tures. No representation can possibi- 
 be given, so shocking to humanity, 
 as their unmerciful method of tor 
 menting their devoted prisoner; and 
 as it is so contrary to the standard of 
 the rest of the known world, I shati 
 relate the circumstances, so far as t" 
 cojivey proper information thereof t 
 tile reader. When the company re- 
 turn from war, and come in view ot 
 their own town, they follow the leader 
 one by one, in a direct line, each a 
 few yards behind the other, to ma5;nif} 
 their triumph. If they have not suc- 
 aeeded, or any of their warriors ar*' 
 lost, they return quite silent; but if 
 they are all safe, and have succeeded, 
 they fire off the Indian platoon, bj 
 one, two, and three at a time, whoop- [ 
 ing and insulting their prisoners. The> j 
 camp near their town all night, in ii { 
 large square plot of ground, marked j 
 for the purpose, wiiii a high war-polf 
 fixed in the middle of it, to which 
 they secure their prisoners. Next dav 
 they go to the leader's house in a very 
 solemn procession, but stay without, 
 round his red painted war-pole, until 
 they have determined concerning the 
 fate of their prisoners. If any one of 
 the captives should be fortunate 
 enough to get loose, and run into the 
 house of the archi-magus, or to ;< 
 town of refuge, he by ancient custon) 
 is saved from the fiery torture — these 
 places being a sure asylum to them is 
 they were iiivaried, and taken, bu- 
 not to invaders, because they came t. 
 shed Wooti. 
 
 The youiig prisoners are saved, li 
 pot devoted while the company wcii 
 
 sanctifying themstives for thei; t\!ie»ii- 
 tion; but if the latter be tlir- c;i>e, 
 they aie condemned, and t:< ; lo the 
 dreadful stake, one at a time. The 
 victors first strip their miM-rable cao- 
 tives quite n-iked, and put on their 
 feet a piir of bear-skin maccase(.**s, 
 with the black hairy part outside; 
 
 Uhers fasten with a ■ rape vin- , a 
 burnino fire-brand to the fiole. n little 
 above the reach <>f thejr ht'aits. Then 
 tf'ey know their dooii; -deep black, 
 <-iid bufninj fire, are fixed sjais of 
 Mitir death warrant. Their pu(;ish- 
 (nent is always i»:f"t to the womrnj 
 iiidon acc< u'.it of their fal>e statu'did 
 of edncaticD, they ar^ ii" way back- 
 ward in their office, but (»e)f<>rm it ta 
 fhe entire satisfaction < f the greedy 
 eyes of the spectators. Each of tliem 
 
 repares tor the dreadfu: rejo'cing, a 
 loo;; bundle of dry canes, cr ttie heart 
 of fat pitch-pi. le, i*nd as tin victnns 
 are ied to the stake, :he women and 
 their young ones beat them with lhe><e 
 in a most barbarous manner. Hupjiy 
 would it be for ttie miserable creatures, 
 if their sufferings ended hert, or a 
 merciful tomohawk finished tht-m at 
 onp stroke ; but this shaniefui 'rtat- 
 ment is a prelude to future sufferings. 
 The death-sijrnal bemg ^iven pre- 
 parations are made for acting a nuae 
 tragical part I'he victim's arms are 
 fast pinioned, ar.d a strons niapovine 
 is tied round his neck, to the top of 
 the war-pole, allowing him to track 
 around, about fifteen yartls, They 
 fix some toutih clay on !iis heitd, to 
 secure the scalp from the blazing t. r- 
 ches, Unspeakable pleasuK now i/ds 
 < he exMlfinw crowd oil spe<•tat^lr^ ; "he 
 
 ■ rcle fills witli the amaz'-uj anu nv rci- 
 
 css executioners. — Tne sutT» rmy '•■■^ar- 
 
 ior however is not dismayed; mtli 
 an insulting maniy voice he siuiis l!>e 
 nar-song ! and with '..allant coot'-mpt 
 •le tramples the rafiling gourd with 
 
 ^ebbles in it lo pieces, and -uatMin'S 
 even death itse.f. The women nu. kc 
 
 a furious on-set with their burning 
 
 y y
 
 346 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderfid Events, 
 
 torches; his pain is so excruciatinfj 
 that he rushes out from the pole, with 
 the fury of tl»e most savage beast of 
 prey, and with the vine sweeps down 
 all "before him, kicking, biting, and 
 trampling them with the greatest des- 
 pite. The circle immediately fdls 
 again, either with the same, or fresh 
 persons ; they attack him on every 
 side — now he runs to the pole for 
 shelter, but the flames pursue him. 
 Then with champing teeth, and spark- 
 ling eye-balls, he breaks through their 
 contracted circle afresh, and acts 
 every part, that the highest courage, 
 most raging fury, and blackest despair 
 can prompt him to. But he is sure 
 t© be overpowered by numbers, and 
 at'ter sonic time the lire affects his 
 lender parts. — Then they pour over 
 him a quantity of cold water, and al- 
 low him a proper time of respite, un- 
 til Ivis spirits recover, and he is capa- 
 ble of suffering new tortures. Then 
 the like cruelties are repeated until 
 he falls down, and happily becomes 
 insensible of pain. Now they scalp 
 him, in the manner before described ; 
 dismember, and carry off all the ex- 
 terior branches of the body, pudendis 
 lion excfpiis, in shameful and savage 
 triumph. This is the most favourable 
 treatment their devoted captives receive; 
 it would be loo shocking to humanity 
 either to give or peruse every particu- 
 lar of their conduct in such doleful 
 tragedies — nothing can equal these 
 s«enes, but those of the unmerciful 
 llomish inquisition. 
 
 Not a soul, of whatever age or sex, 
 manifest the least pity during the pri- 
 soner's tortures ; the women sing with 
 religious joy, all the while they are 
 torturing the devoted victim, and 
 peals of laughter resound through the 
 crowded theatre— especially if he fears 
 to die. — But a warrior puts on a bold 
 austere countenance, and carries it 
 lhrou<!;h all his pains. As long as he 
 can, he whoops and outbraves the ene- 
 inv, describing his own martial deeds, 
 
 against them, w ith and those of his own 
 nation, who he threatens will force 
 many of them to eat fire in revenge 
 of his fate, as he himself had often 
 done to some of their relations at their 
 cost. 
 
 Though the same things operate 
 alike upon the organs of the human 
 body, and produce an uniformity of 
 sensations, yet weakness, or constancy 
 of mind derived from habit, helps in 
 a great measure, either to heighten, 
 or lessen the sense of pain, By fhis, 
 the afflicted party has learned to stifle 
 nature, and shewn an outward uncon- 
 cern, under such slow and acute tor- 
 tures ; and the surprising cruelty of 
 their women, is equally owing to edu- 
 cation and custom. Similar instances 
 verify this, as in Lisbon, and other 
 places, where tender-hearted ladies 
 are transformed by their bloody priests, 
 into so many Medeas, through deluded 
 religious principles; and will sit and 
 see with the highest joy the martyrs of 
 God, drawn along in diabolical triumph 
 to the fiery stake, and suffering death 
 with linKeriu" tortures. 
 
 From Gordon's Geography. 
 
 AT Mentz, in Germany, there is 
 a leaf of parchment on which are 
 fairly written twelve different sorts of 
 hands, \vith a variety of miniatures 
 and draughts, curiously done with a 
 pen, and that by one Thomas Schn- 
 viker, who was born without hands, 
 and performed the same with iiis feel. 
 
 At Leyden, in Holland, is to be seen 
 the effigy of a peasant of Prussia, who 
 swallowed a knife of ten inches long ; 
 and is said to have lived eight years 
 after; the same was cut out of his 
 stomach. 2d, An oyster shell, weighing 
 one hundred and thirty pounds. 3d, 
 two human skins, one a man's, the 
 other a woman's, tanned and prepared 
 like leather ; with a pair of shoes 
 made of such leather.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, Sfc. 347 
 
 Mrs. Didii'r'6 Farewell Address, spoken at 
 the Bath. Tlieutre, Feb. 1, 1%0:. 
 
 CAN none remember, nay, I knovr all must, 
 When the great Siddoiii gave her reasons 
 
 ju.st ; 
 For qiiiding those whose approbation drew; 
 I!er vvond'rous merits first to public view ; 
 Three reasons only could that prop unfix, 
 Whilst dame Didier, alas! has sixty-six; 
 1 ooIl in my face, and there too plain appears, 
 T!i' HDerrinjj mark of six and sixty years ; 
 My reasons are not little girls and boys, 
 Their doating parent's anxions cares and 
 
 But twelve long months (of good deeds or 
 
 of crimes,) 
 Repeated over six and sixty times! 
 Though I might boast that many a comic 
 
 brother. 
 Has of tlii« theatre long hail'd me — mother! 
 Nay, whilst we've Garricks, infantile and 
 
 raw, 
 I may be term'd this stage's — grand-mamma. 
 
 Twice twenty years ago my lot was cast — 
 Here should my scenes of future life be past; 
 And 'tis with pride and gratitude 1 own, 
 A happier fortune few have ever known. 
 
 When first you saw me,by your partial aid. 
 The romping girls — pert chambermaids, 
 
 I play'd ; 
 And oft — transform'd by elegant attire — 
 Begg'd you her court-bred ladyship admire. 
 Ah ! then my vanity would not refuse 
 Tbehitfliest effortsof your comic muse — 
 Your Townlys, Teazles, Rosalinds so gay, 
 I had presumption, gentle friends, to play; 
 But ne'er did this ambition reach my heart, 
 I never squinted through a tragic part. 
 
 *Ti9 "long experience only makes ussage," 
 By that we tind our level on the stage ; 
 In homely parts, with simple nature's aims, 
 Ashfield,and other rusticated dames, 
 Aunt Heidelbergs, and matrons in brocades, 
 Your Malapropg and antiquated maids, 
 My forte I struck on — and, with exultation, 
 Your laugh I construed into approbation. 
 
 A few more years should health continue 
 still, ' 
 
 This humble sphere T yet perhaps might fill; 
 
 But " blest retirement, friend to life's de- 
 cline," 
 
 Bids me my labours and their fruits resign ; 
 
 Tontent with pittance early toil was made, 
 
 The frugal savings of your gen'rous aid. 
 
 Deem not my heart insensible or cold, 
 
 That I no cambric handkerchief unfold ; 
 
 With bosom throbbing, <fc with fault 'ring "^ 
 speech, / 
 
 Your kind indulgence for this step beseech^- 
 
 This face I ne'er the form of woe could V 
 teach ; ^ 
 
 Kor do 1 think, with arrogance and pride, 
 
 Tiat this my place tan never be supplied I 
 
 I'm pleas'd to leave you thus brim full of 
 
 glee, 
 Yoa must be pleas'd, your bounty raakea 
 
 me free, 
 My worthy managers, whose gentle sway 
 Jlade forty winters oue bright holiday. 
 Must too be pleas'd that an old servant goea 
 From anxious toiling to her eve's repose ; 
 \nd with herfciithful mate, can thus retire, 
 Where thrift has piled, and leisure trim* 
 
 their fire ; 
 Where life's rude cares n» more may ia< 
 
 tervcue. 
 To mar their studies for another scene. 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 ON the first nigiit of the represea- 
 tation of the comedy of The Suspi-^ 
 clous Husband, Foote sat by a plain, 
 honest, well-meaning citizen, whose 
 imagination was strongly impressed 
 by tke incidents of the play. At the 
 dropping of tlie curtain, the wit com- 
 plained to his neighbonr of the im- 
 propriety of snffenng Ranger to go 
 off as he caine on, without being re- 
 claimed. "Could not the author, 
 (said he) thrown this youth, in the 
 course of his nocturnal rambles, into 
 some ridiculous scene of distress, 
 which might have reclaimed him ? As 
 he now stands, who knows but the 
 rogue, after all the pleasure he has 
 given us, may spend the night in a 
 round-house ?" " By G — d, (says the 
 cit) if it happens in my ward, I'll 
 release him, for I'm sure he is too ho- 
 nest a fellow to run away from his 
 bail." 
 
 Claim of Kindred ; or, the most made 
 of a pretended Relation. 
 
 AS a portly and well-dressed man 
 was some time since walking along the 
 Strand, he suddenly dropped down 
 iu an apoplectic tit; and though a 
 physician was passing at the time, and 
 tried every assistance, it was in vain ; 
 the body was dead beyond the reach 
 of human skill. — A corpse in the 
 Strand, unowned, soon drew a crowd; 
 among whom came a genteel young 
 Y V 2
 
 3-18 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, JVonderful E'reiits', 
 
 insii.. Htr !^ ifl no soontt made his wav 
 thiuugti ihe jd'.b. so as lo g<'t a fuis 
 view oF the- (\t *?A<t'i\, than lie secmtrd 
 struck vvit.i ainwzfiiifu! : he lejnained 
 fixtU; his i.uiiateivai'.cf c!iH!);i'fl ; anci 
 llie tears b»i;aii w flow «loun l>is 
 clifei.s. '\s St. Ill as bf coiiid reco\er 
 hiin^* f, s'>far as to i;;ai!uitttraiK.e. he 
 e>.«'iaiine(J *' (> God, my poot uncle' 
 Is lie i>oije { — Well," said he, with a 
 de i' sii'h, " s ; ;ibve jiensh»'H all ii)\ 
 llupes ! 1 am liaopv, however, thai I 
 liirkily [)ass»^fl at this awful inouien?, 
 to n'scue his remains, and see them 
 clei-^i.t!y interred." Aceordmgly. the 
 sorrowful youlh r-dhd for a coach ; 
 and tlie charitable uiob, who pitied 
 tlie di amcolate firphew, assisted t' 
 pur tile e;)ipse iato the coach. Tlit 
 yw/.v youii!. man tlieii, havhi:; can- 
 fully drawn up the blinds, to protect 
 his (leceasc'l kinsman from the unplea- 
 sant <i;aze if public curiosity, soon 
 ftrppe.' tue body entireiv naked ; and 
 desiriDi to bt- stt down at a celt-br^ted 
 sur:.f^on's, very c«>!i!5cieiidoiish sold his 
 preti-nded uncle for two guineas ! 
 
 fluriiig the time of a squall, Master 
 Thompson fell over-board, and was 
 seen no more. The news of his being 
 drowned soon after came to iheknow- 
 ;edi^c of his fiionds, and no more was 
 expected to be heard of him, but 
 iiom the above circumstance it has 
 .>rovfd somew'.iat similar to the fate 
 of Jon''di in th<,' belly of a whale; 
 >oimg Thompson^ coHin was a living 
 biark, though he was not so forfnnate 
 as Jonah to esca[)e. Rir. Ephraim 
 Thompson has purchased the shark, 
 which he calls his son's executor ; and 
 tiie watch, 6cc. he considers as his last 
 legacy. 'J he shark measured nine feet 
 long, and four round. 
 
 Town and Country Magazine, IT^S. 
 
 Jin Accouit of a Shark. 
 
 A SHARK was taken in the river 
 Thames near Poplar, by some fisher- 
 men, in til. body of which was found 
 a watcb ^v(th a chain and seal, and 
 also some pieces of gold lace, which 
 V'er^ conjectured to have belonged to 
 son;*. ••(Hing gen'lemen who was swai- 
 low-i'd b) that voracious fish : the ma- 
 ter's name and number of the watch 
 b i : Henry Watson, London, No. 
 1362. It has since appeared, that 
 J>ii Henry Watson, the watch-maker, 
 lives in Shoredi^ch. who sold the 
 waich, two years ago, to a Mr, Eph- 
 raim Thompson, of White-Chapel, 
 as a present »o a son on going out on 
 his first voyage (as what is called a 
 guine.i-jig) on board the ship Polly, 
 Ca- ta n Van. master, bound to coast 
 jjnd bay: about three leagues off Fal- 
 naouth, bj a sudden heel of the ship 
 
 The Newspaper. 
 
 AN enjjiee of good aiiil evil, 
 
 Ot'falseiiood and (ruth, in its luru; 
 Assisted aiwajs by (he Devil,* 
 
 Whose lashes make §infnl folk mourUi 
 
 A mirror of folly and fashion, 
 
 A mart of wi(, ljon-mo(, and joke ; 
 
 The foe of crini con's guilty passiou. 
 But friendly (o Hymen'g fair yoke, 
 
 The comfor( and guide of (he trader. 
 In dealings at home or abroad ; 
 
 The dread of the boast ing invader, 
 
 The brand by which tyrants are aw'd. 
 
 Right liberty's rock of reliance, 
 Wfe. n tempests her residence threats; 
 
 The fosterer of arts and of .science. 
 Of every (hing gallant, or great; 
 
 • Nev5-s-paper-prin(ers' boys sotermedf 
 
 Epitaph 'oa little Stephen, a noted Fi4dlf» 
 in Suffolk. 
 
 STEPHEN and Time, 
 Are now bo(h even; 
 Stephen beat Time, 
 Now Time bea(s Stephen^ 
 
 Epitaph on a learned Alderman, 
 
 HERE lies William Curtis, late our lor4 
 
 mayor. 
 Who has left this here world, and is gpp$ 
 
 to that there.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetrg, ^c. 319 
 
 Humanity. 
 DEAN Swift was one mornini! 
 standing at his study window, and 
 from thence observed a decent elderly 
 •vvosnan, olieriiig a papt^r to one c/ his 
 servants, which the fellow at first re- 
 fused, with an insolent liiui suri} as- 
 pect. The woman, however, pressed 
 her suit witli all the energy of distress 
 and in the end prevailed. The Dean, 
 whose soul was the sea': of rompassioii, 
 saw, feit, an<i w:«s determined to aiit- 
 viate ijer misei-y.— He every moment 
 expected the servant with the paper; 
 but to his surprise and indignation, 
 an hour elapsed, and the man did not 
 present it. The day was cold and 
 wet, and the wretched petitioner si ill 
 retained her station, with many an 
 eloquent and anxious look at the house. 
 The benevolent divine Jost all patience, 
 and was eoing to ring the bell, when 
 he obsetved the servant cross the 
 street, and return the paper with the 
 utmost sans; f void and indifference. 
 Rightly judging the case, he threw 
 up the sasli, and demanded loudly 
 what the paper contained. " It is a 
 petition, please your reverence," re- 
 plied the woman. " Bring it up, 
 rascal," cried the enraged dean. — Tl)e 
 surprised and petrified servant obeyed. 
 With Swift, to know was to pity — to 
 pity to relieve. — The poor woman 
 was instantly made happy — and the 
 servant almost instantly turned out of 
 doors, with the following written tes- 
 timonial of his conduct: 
 
 " The bearer lived two years in my 
 service, in which time he was fre- 
 quently drunk and negligent of his 
 duty; which, conceiving him to be 
 honest, I excused ; but at last detect- 
 ing him in a fragrant instance of cru- 
 elty, I discharged him." Such were 
 the consequences of this paper, that 
 for seven years the fellow was an itin- 
 erant beggar ; after which the dean 
 forgave him ; and, in consequence of 
 another paper equally singular, he was 
 hired by Mr. Pope, with whom he 
 Jived till death yemoved him, 
 
 The yVay of the Vt^ovld. 
 
 DETERMINED befort-hand we gravely 
 
 pretend, 
 To ask ihe opinion and tbaughts of a friend ; 
 J'bould his diifer from oiir's on any pretence. 
 We nil y his want botii of judguitnt and 
 
 sense ; 
 Rut if he falls into, and flatters oar plan. 
 Why really we think him ;i sensible man. 
 
 On the Death of an Undertaker. 
 
 SUBDUED by death, here death's great 
 
 herald (ie.s 
 And aiids a trophy (o his victories ; 
 Yet sure he was prepar'd who, while he'd 
 
 breath, 
 JIade it his business still to look fop dearth. 
 
 Account of a remarkahh eld 3fan. 
 
 THERE lived a njan, in the year 
 158 1, in the paiisb of Trcgaian, in 
 the county of Anglesea, aged 105, 
 called William David ap Hov.el ap 
 Jorworth, who married three wiv^3. 
 The lirst was called Ellen fercli 
 Williau), of her he begat twenty-two 
 children. The second wife called 
 Catharine ach Richard, of her he be- 
 gat ten children. The third was 
 called Ellen ferch William, of her he 
 begat four children. Also he had in 
 his life-time two concubines ; one 
 called Jonnet ferch Wiiliani, by her 
 he begfit two children; the other Leky 
 Lloyd, by her he begat five children. 
 The number of his children, lawfully 
 begotten was thirty six, and by his 
 concubines seven, in all forty-three. 
 His eldest son, called Griffith ap 
 William, Si years old, had children, 
 and children's children, to a great 
 number. Also his youngest son was 
 Griffith ap William, two years old, 
 living in the before-mentioned parish 
 of Tregaiau; so that there were eighty 
 years between the two brothers ; and 
 they were both at their father's 
 funeral. His eldest daughter, called 
 Alice ach William, was twice married, 
 lived seventy-two years, and had 
 many children, and children's children 
 to a very great number. There lived 
 ' I in the &aid parish of Tregaian, wilhiti
 
 S50 Liferarif Curiosities, EpHefphs., IVond^rful Events, 
 
 i)is time, about eighfy-eiglit persons 
 descended fion) the body of the said 
 old man. It is reported that children, 
 and chiklrt'n's children, dtscehded 
 from tlie body of tlie said old man, 
 and born in his days, did amount to 
 thr number of tliree huudrcd persons, 
 and nj)\v:ird.s. 'Ihe said William David 
 ap 1 lowed ap Joruorlh was a man of 
 mean stature, of good complexion, 
 sehionj vexed with sloiie or cliolic, 
 i;r any other distemper, of moderate 
 diet, li\ed by husbandry ai;d tillage, 
 idtogelher delii^hlins '^"d excrcisina 
 himself in fishin<j and fowling. His 
 hearing, eye-sight, and all his senses, 
 continuing perfect to the last. 
 
 A Chapter on (.oijic ; or, fhe Horse Chesnut 
 and the Chesnut Horse. 
 
 AN Eton 9'riplin;rj traiiiiiiKforllie law, 
 A dnuct at syntax, but a dab at taw, 
 One happy ctiris-iniai, laid upon the slielf, 
 His cap and gown, and s'ores of learned 
 
 peU", 
 With all the deathless bards of Greece and 
 
 Rome ; 
 To spend a foifnigtit at his uncle's home. 
 Arriv'd and pa>is'd the usual how d'yedo'.s, 
 Enquiries of old friends., and college news ; 
 " Well, Tom— the road— what saw you 
 
 worth discerning? 
 '* Or how goes study?— what is it you're 
 
 laarning?" 
 
 * Oh ! Logic, Sir, bat not the shallow 
 
 rules, 
 ' Of Locke and Bacon — antiquated fools ! 
 * 'Tis Wit's aud Wrangler's logic: thus 
 
 d'ye see, 
 
 * I'll prove at once, as plain as A, B, C, 
 
 * That an eel pie's a piriton. — To deny if, 
 
 * Would be to swear blacL's not black.' 
 
 " Come, let's try it." 
 
 * An eel pie is a pie of fish .' — " xVgreed." 
 
 ' Fi4/i-pie may be a j«cA-pie.' — '• Well, 
 proceed." 
 
 * A jack-fit is a John-pie; and, '(is done, 
 
 ' For every John- Pie must be a Pie- John. 
 
 (Pigeon) 
 " Bravo !" Sir .lohu cries, "Logic forever! 
 " That beats my grandmother, aud she 
 
 " was clever ! 
 " But hold, my boy,>iince it would be hard, 
 " That wit aud learning should have no 
 
 " rrward. 
 '• To-morrow, for % stroll, the park we'll 
 
 " cross, 
 '■• And there I'll give ihee"' — ' W^bat?' "uiy 
 
 " chesnut horst," 
 
 ' A horse,' quoth Tom, ' blood, pedigree, 
 
 ' and,j):ices ! 
 ' Heav'ns what a dash I'll cut at Epsom 
 
 ' races '' 
 To bed be went, and wept for downright 
 
 sorrow, 
 That night most go before he'd see the 
 
 morrow ; 
 Dream'f of his boots and spurs, and leather 
 
 breeches ; 
 Hunting of cats, and leapiug rails and 
 
 ditches. 
 L'ft bis warm rest an hour before the lark, 
 Diagg'd his old uncle, fasting to the park. 
 Halter in hand, each vale he scour'd — at loss 
 To tind out something like a chesnut horse ; 
 But no such animal the meadows cropt. 
 At length, beneatli a tree, Sir Peter stopt ; 
 A branch be caught, then shook it, aud dowa 
 
 fell 
 A fine horse-che^nut, in its prickly shell. 
 " There, Tom, fake that ;" ' Well, sir, aud 
 
 ' what beside?' 
 "Why, since you're booted, saddle it and 
 
 " ride." 
 ' Ride what' a chesirat!' " Aye, come, get 
 
 " across ; 
 " I'll tell you, Tom, that c/ie.«i?/t I* a ftor.«e — 
 ' Aud all the horse you'll get ; for I can 
 
 " shew, 
 '•' As clear as soa-sbine, that 'tis really so, 
 " Not by the musty, fusty, worn-out rules 
 " Of Locke and Bacon — addle-headed fools! 
 •' Or old .\lallebranche — blind pilot into 
 
 " knowledge ! 
 " But by the laws of ir«7, and Eton college, 
 " All axioms but the VVrangUr's I'll disown 
 " And slick to one sound argument — your 
 
 " oirn : 
 " Thus now, you've prov'd it, as I don't 
 
 " deny, 
 " That i pie- John's the same as a John-pic. 
 " What follows then ?— why, a* a thing of 
 
 " course, 
 " That a horse chesnut is a chesnut horse.'* 
 
 Epigram. On a bad S*rvant, but a good 
 
 Nurse. 
 SAYS Dick to hii friend— I'd turn Mary 
 
 away, 
 She hath not a quality worthy her pay : 
 No says he 1 will not — I shan't get such 
 
 another, 
 For she constantly uurs'd both my father 
 
 and mother ; 
 That's my view to discharge her — would 
 
 you keep your breath, 
 4s she nurs'd both your father and mother 
 
 to death. 
 
 On a I.adtf u-ho squinted. 
 IF ancirnf poets Argus prize, 
 Who boasted of an hundred eyes ; 
 •'ure greater pr.iis* to her is due, 
 Who looks an huudrttd ways witU two;
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetnj, S^-c. II5I 
 
 1! When a sentence is submitted to the 
 
 Different Modes of Pimhhments in\\^^^^^^^^ ^^^ j^is approbation, if the 
 
 foreign Cuimlries. (^rijne be of the first degree of atrocity, 
 
 IN China, persons guilty of murder | he orders the malefactor to be e.\ecut- 
 
 are beheaded, except where a person l ed without delay: when it is only of 
 
 kills his adversary in a duel, in which 
 case h'' is strangled. Decapitation by 
 the 'aw'S of China, is considered ihe 
 xncst dishonourable mode of execution. 
 This sort of punishment being 
 deemed in the highest degree io;no- 
 minious, is only inflicted for crimes 
 which are regarded by the Cliincsc 
 government, as the most prejudicial 
 to society, such as conspiracy, assas- 
 sination, committing any otlonce a- 
 gaiiist the person of the emperor, or 
 attempting the life of any of the im- 
 perial family : revolting insurrection, 
 striking a parent, or any oiiicr un- 
 natural crime. The malefactor who 
 is condemned to be beheaded, is made 
 
 I an ordinary nature, he directs that the 
 criminal shall be imprisoned till the 
 autumn, and then executed : a par- 
 ticular day in that season being al- 
 lotted for such ceremonies. 
 
 The cmpeior of China seldom or- 
 ders a subject to be executed until he 
 has consulted with his first law offi- 
 cers, whether he can avoid it without 
 infringing on the constitution of his 
 realm, lie fasts for a certain period 
 previous to signing an order for an 
 execution; and his imperial majesty 
 esteems those years of his reign the 
 most illustrious, and most fortunate, 
 in which he has had the least occasion 
 to let fall, upon his subjects, the ri- 
 
 to kneel npon the ground, the band gorous sword of justice 
 
 of infamy is taken from his back, and The usual capital punishments in 
 
 the executioner, by a single blow of a H China arc strangling and beheading. 
 
 two-handed sword, strikes olf his head 
 with great dexterity, 'i'hese headsmen, 
 and, indeed, the generality of interior 
 officers of justice in China, are select- 
 ed from the soldiery, according to the 
 customs of the primitive barbarians ; 
 neither is this employment considered 
 more ignominious than the post of 
 principal officer of executive justice 
 in other countries. Decapitation isheld 
 by the Chinese as the most disgrace- 
 ful kind of death ; because the head, 
 which is the principal part of a man, 
 is separated from the body, and that 
 body is not consigne.l to the grave as 
 entire as he received it Irom his pa- 
 rents. If a great mandarin be con- 
 victed of any atrocious ofl'ence, he is 
 executed in this manner like the 
 meanest poison. Alter the head is 
 severed it is tVcquently sus[)cndcd 
 from a tree, by the side of a public 
 road; the body is thrown into a 
 ditch, the law having deemed it 
 unworthy the respect of regular fu- 
 neral rites. 
 
 The former is more common, and is 
 decreed against those who are found 
 guilty of crimes^ which however ca- 
 pital, are only held in the second rank 
 of atrocity. — For instance, all acts ©f 
 homicide, whether intentional or ac- 
 cidental ; every species of fraud, com- 
 mitted upon government ; the seduc- 
 tion of a woman, whether married or 
 single; giving abusive .language to a 
 parent; plundering or defacing a bu- 
 rying place ; robbing with destructive 
 weapons; and I'or wearing pearls.* 
 
 ♦This extraordinary law as;aiast wear- 
 ing pearls, must have Iteea foroied for tlie 
 sake of preventing robberies. 
 
 Criuiiualsare soaietiraes strangled vritb a 
 bow-string, bnt on general occasions, a 
 cord is made use of, which fastens the per- 
 son to a crosvi, and one tarn being- taken 
 round his neck, it is drawn tight by an 
 athletic executioner. 
 
 Men of distinction are usually strangled, 
 as the more houonrable death ; and wliere 
 the emperor is jncliied to show an extraor- 
 dinary mark of altenlio.i towards a m^(!da- 
 rin condemned toviie, he ^e:!^? him a sjllsfn 
 cord, with periiiJi!.-.ion -to be hia own < xs- 
 1 cutioncr.
 
 3i5ri LHerarii Curiosities^ Epiiaphs, JVouderful Ereuts, 
 
 In Turkey and other countries the 
 head is struck olTwilh a sabre. 
 
 In England, decapitation is reckon- 
 ed the most honourable punishment,* 
 and thus our great personages fornaer- 
 ]y suffered. For high treason the 
 head fs severed from the body, but the 
 offender is previously hung, though 
 not, according to sentence, till he is 
 nuite dead ; hanging in England being 
 deemed the most ignominious punish- 
 ment. Decapitation is here performed 
 with the hatchet; the head being 
 placed on a block of wood, with the 
 neck bare. In France it is a common 
 punishment, and is indeed most ex- 
 peditiously performed. - 
 
 In France the guillotine was origi- 
 nally called the INIaiden, of the use 
 and form of which i\Jr. Pennant gives 
 the following account : — 
 
 It seems to have been confined to 
 the limits of the forest of Hardwick, 
 or the eighteen towns and hamlets with- 
 in its precincts. The time when this 
 custom look place is unknov.'n ; whe- 
 ther Earl Warren, lord of this forest, 
 inii^ht have established it among the 
 sanguinary laws then in use against 
 the invaders of the hunting rights, or 
 whether il inight not take place after 
 the woollen manufactures at Halifax 
 began to gain strength, is uncertain. 
 The last is very probable ; for the 
 wild country around the town was 
 inhabited by a lawless set, Avhose de- 
 predations en the cloth tenters might 
 toon stifle the efforts of infant indus- 
 try. For the protection of trade, and 
 for the greater terror of offenders by 
 speedy execution, this custom se«ms 
 to have Been established, so as at last 
 to receive the force of law, which was, 
 • That if a felon be taken within the 
 liberty of the forest of Hardwick, with 
 goods stolen out, or within the said 
 
 * Lord FerierspetitionedlbatthepnnisL- 
 ment of hanging should be changed todeca- 
 pi(a!if;n ; hut it was deemed proper that lie 
 sfcould suiier like oihir laurdefers. 
 
 precincts, either hand-habend, back- 
 berand, or confessioned, to the value 
 of thirteen-perce halfpenny, he shall, 
 after three market days within the 
 town of Halifax, next after such his 
 apprehension, and being condemned, 
 be taken to the gibbet, and there have 
 his head cut from his body. 
 
 The offender had always a fair 
 trial ; for as soon as he was taken, he 
 was brought to the lord's bailiff at 
 Halifax: he was then exposed on the 
 three markets (which here were held 
 thrice in a week) placed in a stocks, 
 with the goods stolen on his back, or 
 if the theft was of the cattle kind, they 
 were placed by him, and this was done 
 both to strike terror into others, and 
 to produce new information against 
 him. The bailiff then summoaed four 
 fieeholders of each town within the 
 forest, to form a jury. The felon and 
 prosecutors were brought face to face: 
 the goods, the cow or horse, or what- 
 ever was stolen, pioduced. If he 
 was found guilty, he was remanded to 
 prison, had a week allowed for pre- 
 paration, and then was conveyed to 
 this spot, where his head was struck 
 off by this machine. I should have 
 premised, that if the criminal, either 
 after apprehension, or in the way to 
 execution, could escape out of the 
 limits of the forest (part being close 
 to the town) the bailiff' had lao farther 
 power over him ; but if he should be 
 caught witkin the precincts at any 
 time after, he was immediately ex- 
 ecuted on his former sentence. 
 
 This privilege was very freely used 
 during the reign of Elizabeth : the 
 records before that time were lost. 
 Twenty-five suffered in her reign, and 
 at least twelve from l623 to }650; 
 after which I believe, the privilege 
 was no more exerted. 
 
 This machine of death is now 
 destroyed ; but I saw one of the same 
 kind in a room under the parliament- 
 house at Edinburgh, where it was in- 
 troduced by the Regent Morton, who
 
 Interesiing Naivat/ves, Emrfmas, Epk/rams, Poetry^ S;c. BoS 
 
 took a model of it as he passe'1 thiv.u 'h 
 Halifax, and at length sutfcr.-*d \>v 
 it hiir.?eit. It is in form of a painter'- 
 ea^el, and about ten t'.et nieh : a' 
 four feel from the i»otiom i>; a cros^ 
 bar Oil which the felon lays his bead, 
 which is kept down by ant liie? 
 placed above. In the inner edges of 
 the fiame are grooves; in these is 
 placed a sharp axe wi'h a vast weight 
 of lead supported at the very summit 
 with a peg ; to that peg is fastenet^ a 
 cord which the executioner cutting, 
 the axe falh, and does the affan 
 effectually, without suffering the un- 
 happy criminal to undergo a repeti' 
 tion of strokes, as has been the case 
 in the common method. I must add, 
 that if the sufferer is condemned foi 
 stealing a horse or a cow, the siring 
 is tied to the beast, which, on being 
 whipped, pulls out the peg, and be- 
 comes the executioner. 
 
 Epitaph in Withington Church Yard, 
 Gloucestershire. 
 
 HERE lies the body of Ann Walker, who 
 departed this life, Sept. 5, 1798, aged 
 31 years. 
 
 SHE was a voman of good sense, 
 And endued with f reat patipL.ce ; 
 A modest, kind, and loving wife, 
 And very frugal all her li'^e ; 
 She was a meek and gentle talker 
 To me her husband, William Walker. 
 
 Irish Drummer. 
 
 A DRUMMER of the 104th 
 regiment executing his duty on an 
 Irish recruit, who was to receive a 
 certain number of laishes; the fellow 
 as customary, cried out, " strike 
 high, strike high :" the drummer, who 
 was also an Irishman, desirous of 
 obliging his countryman, did as he 
 was requested ; but the sufferer still 
 continuing to roar out through pain, 
 the drummer was offended—" The 
 *' devil burn you," quoih lie, there is 
 no pleasing you, strike where one 
 will." 
 
 The Traveller's Room. 
 
 HER^S — boots anc bag:? and "oxes lie, 
 With hats and coats out .•eldom dry ; 
 "^iiere — spurs and whips of len^theu'd thong 
 To urre the lacg' c, steed along 
 rvround — the brei.kfast fp'^in-'ntsspreadf 
 Scr-tns of ham ai'i toas:te. 'iread ; 
 Knives and forks r nd spoons a plenty, 
 With sugar basin nearly empty ; 
 \nA tea-pot fo the eie:es fill'd 
 Vith India's leaf, not half distill'd; 
 And eH;ss by §too watch nicely boil'd, 
 .And table-cloth a litU? soil'd : 
 Whilst one for " Waiter," loudly bawls, 
 Another " Boots" and " Ostler" calls ; 
 A third the " Chamber-maid" must see, 
 Who v^itb a smile receives her fee : 
 And when the toilsome day is .'er, 
 And round tiie board they mf^et once more, 
 There noise and strife, and stern debate, 
 Too off the evening scene complete; 
 Yet still a traveller's life may give 
 A lesson how aright to live, 
 If with him at earliest morn, 
 Regardiess of the threat'ning storm, 
 We urge onr way on life's dull road 
 Nor faiat beneath its weary load ! 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 A SAILOR oti board a ship of 
 war frequently drunk, the captain 
 assured him the next time he was 
 guilty of that offeree, he should be 
 severely punished ; and at the same 
 time torbid the purser and all other 
 persons giving him any liquor: shwily 
 after thiS, the fellow ai'peared very 
 drunk; how he got the liquor no one 
 could guess ; the captain resolved to 
 find out .md punish tke person who 
 had thus disobeyed his orders, and 
 p-omised to forgive him if he would 
 tell how he got the liquor; after 
 some hesitation, he hiccupped out, 
 why, and please your honour, I lapped 
 the governor; by which he meant he 
 liad stolen some of the arrack in 
 which the body of an East-India 
 governor was bringing home in that 
 ship for interment in England. 
 
 Epitaph on a good Wife. 
 
 SHE was - 
 
 But words are wanted to say what : 
 Thioji what a wife should be, 
 
 . .^^ (And she was (hat. 
 
 t z
 
 354 Llterarij Curiosities, EpitapJis, Womlerful Events, 
 
 Account of the Origin of Wakes 
 and Fairs. 
 BEFORE a building could be used 
 for divine oiKces, it was required to he 
 consecrated by the bishop, formally 
 sciiiuestered from all secular applica- 
 tions, -and dedicated to the purposes 
 of public devotion. And every church 
 at its consecration received the name 
 of some particular personage, who 
 was celebrated in the Vv-ritten annals or 
 the traditionary history of Christianity, 
 and whose name had been admitted 
 into that great roll of ecclesiastical 
 fame, tlvo calendar of the church. 
 This custom was practised among the 
 Roman-Britons; and they had the 
 church of St. Martin at Canterbury, 
 and that of St. Michael in Manches- 
 ter. It was also continued amoui^ the 
 Saxons, and the Saxon churches in 
 York, London, and IManchester were 
 distinguished by the names of St. 
 Peleri St. Paul, and St. Mary. And 
 i« the council wliich was held at Ceal- 
 eh}the \\\ SKi, the name of the deno- 
 minating saint was expressly required 
 to be inscribed on the altars, and also 
 on the walls of the church, or a tablet 
 within it. 
 
 The feast of t!iis saint becaiue of 
 course the festival of the church. And 
 the cosmection betwixt the church and 
 saitjt behig enhanced by the fanciful- 
 ncss of superstition, and the former 
 supposed to be under the patronage of 
 the latter, the parishioners would 
 naturally consider the day of their 
 spiritual guardian with particular re- 
 spect, and celebrate it with peculiar 
 festivity. This conduct would as 
 naturally be encouraged by the civil 
 and ecclesiastical governors, because 
 il substituted innocent and christian 
 festivals in Uie ixiom of the impious 
 anil idolatrous anniversaries of hea- 
 tjienism. The common {>eople, general- 
 ly in all countries are as much attached 
 Jo thf festivals, as they are devoted to 
 i!ie principles, of any religion, tinxiing 
 
 their annual feasts return as before, 
 and being now able to join in them 
 wiiliout guilt, would be the sooner 
 weaned from their idolatrous attach- 
 ments. And this would be the na- 
 tural operation of the affections^ 
 eqiially on the contnie»t and in the 
 island, and equally among the Britons 
 and Saxons. Thus at the first com- 
 mencement of Christianity among the 
 Jutes of Kent, and with a view to 
 promote the conversion of them and 
 the rest, Gregory prudently advised 
 what had been previously done among 
 the Britons, christian festivajs to be 
 iHstituted in the place of the idolatrous, 
 and tlie suflcring-day of the martyr 
 whose rclicks were reposited in thsi 
 church, or the day on which 
 the building was actually dedicated, 
 to be the established feast of the pa- 
 rish. Both were appointed and ob- 
 served. And they were observed and 
 appointed as distinct festivals. Bishop 
 Kennet indeed, in his sensible accomit .. 
 of our wakes, has invariably con- i 
 founded them, and attributed to the ^ 
 day of dedication what is true only 
 concerning the saint's-day. But they 
 were fully distinguished at first among 
 the Saxons, as appears from the laws 
 of the confessor, where the dies de- 
 dicationis or dedicatio i.s repeatedly 
 discrmiinated from the propria festivi- 
 tas sancti, or celebratio sancti. And 
 they remained equally distinct to the 
 reformation, the dedication-day in 
 1536 being ordered for the future to 
 be kept on the first sunday in October, 
 and the festival of the patron-saint to 
 be celebrated no longer. 
 
 But the former could never have 
 been observed by the people with the 
 same regard as the latter. 1 hat was 
 merely a feast commemorative of the 
 church's commencement. And this 
 was one previously kept by the nation 
 in general, and the day of their own 
 saint in particular. This therefore, 
 in a high strain of pre-eminence over 
 the other, was actually denominated
 
 Intermting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poefn/, SfC. 365 
 
 the churfh's holiday or its peculif 
 festival. And, whilst this remains i;i 
 many parishes at present, the other i>. 
 utterly annihilated in all, that the 
 learned and sensible antiquary, whom 
 as been nieniioned before, actually 
 knew notliiiig of its distinct cTiistence, 
 an<l absolutely confounded it with this. 
 Thus iiistituted at tirst, the day ol 
 -the tnteJar saint was observed, most 
 probably by the Britons, aad certainly [ 
 by the Saxons v\ith great devotion 
 And the evening before €very saint's- 
 day, in the Saxon-Jewish method of 
 TecUoning the hours, being an actual 
 j)art of the liay, and therefore like 
 that resigned to the duties of public 
 relioiou, as they reckoned «unday from 
 the (irst to commence at the sun-set ot 
 Saturday; the evening preceding the 
 church's holiday would be observed 
 with all the devotion of the festival. 
 The people actually repaired to the 
 ■c'lurch, andjoioed in the services of 
 it. And they thus spent the evening 
 of their greater festivities in the mo 
 nasteries of the north, as early as tht 
 conclusion of the seventli century. In 
 that of Rippon, and on the anniver- 
 sary of Wilfrid particularly, we see 
 the bishops, abbots, atid numero i& [ 
 trains of attendants, all convened at 
 the nionastery in order to celebrate 
 the day, and all assembled the evening 
 before it at the prayers of the church. 
 And these services were naturally de- 
 nominated from their late hours paec 
 can or wakes and vigils or eves. That 
 of the anniversary at Rippon, as early 
 as the comnjencement of tlie kigiiti' 
 century, is expressly denominaleri the 
 Vigil. But that of the church's holi- 
 day was named the peeccan or chuich- 
 wake, the church-vigil or church-eve 
 And it was this commencement of boli) 
 Avi'ih a wake, whieii has naw causes: 
 the days to be gencmily precedef' 
 witii vigils, and the churc!i-holid.:v 
 jvdrticulaiiy to be <leuominated the 
 church -wake. So religiously was t!'»' 
 &,£ aud festival of the palron-saini 
 
 observed for many ages by the Saxons: 
 even as late as the reign of Kdgar, the 
 former being spent in the church asvd 
 em})loyed in prayer. And the wake, 
 aad all the other holidays in the year, 
 were put uj)on the same fooling with 
 the octaves of Christmas, of Easter, 
 and of Pentecost ; and any persons 
 repiiiring to the celebration »! the day, 
 wer«, as ail ordinarily resorting to the 
 church, were under the immediate 
 protection of the king, and conse- 
 quently free from arrests, in their way 
 to and return tVom it. 
 
 V/hen Gregory recommended tlie 
 fe>^3tival of the |:iatron-s<utit, he also 
 recommended something more adapted 
 to gain a general reception than reli- 
 gious acts an<l e?:ercises. He advised, 
 that the people should be encouraged 
 on the day of tlie festival to erect 
 booths of branches abou* the church, 
 and to feast and be Uierry in them with 
 innocence. And, as the authority of 
 Gregory would certainly cause the en- 
 couragement lo be given, so the 
 smallest would be effc;ctual. N(H' 
 would such flwrches only as had pre- 
 viously been heathen temples, but all 
 immediately have the day of their 
 guardian saint observed with this open 
 festivity. As the people had becji all 
 idohitors, the reason wo\ikI be equally 
 forcible for one parish as another. 
 And the strong tenideucy of the com- 
 mon people to every seHsitive enjoy- 
 ment would make the practice univer- 
 sal. In every parish, on tlie returning 
 anniversary of the saint, little pavih'ons 
 were constructed of boughs ; and the 
 immediate neighbourhood of St. iMi- 
 chael's, and the church yard of St. 
 vlary's, resounded with ihe voice of 
 'jospitality and the notes of merriment. 
 But few persons are ever to be in- 
 t: listed to feast. And fewer are to' be 
 • lowed to meet in numbers toi;ether. 
 ■ aere is a contagious vicjousness in 
 ■ rowds. 'ihougli each individual of 
 tiem, by himself, would act with a 
 tiigious propriety; yet altogether 
 z z 2
 
 359 Literary Curiosities, Epitaplis, M'onderfid Krsnfs, 
 
 they act witli ii religion and fulij'. The 
 fire imperceptibly luns from breast to 
 breast, each contributes to swell the 
 tide of spirits beyond its proper 
 bounds, and wickedness and absurdity 
 enter at the breach that is made in 
 reason, And this viciousness is always 
 augmented in its force, when the gros- 
 ser s))irite, that are merely the result 
 of feasting, mingle and ferment the 
 tide. The f<;asting of the saint's-day 
 was soon abused. And it seems to 
 have been greatly so before the reign 
 of Edgar, as the intemperance of tlie 
 festival was then creeping even into 
 the vigil, and even mixing wiih the 
 oiiices of religion. In the very boiiy 
 of the church, when the people were 
 assembled for devotion, they were be-, 
 ginning to mind diversions and intro- 
 duce drinking. And so gross an abuse 
 of ti)C eve cculii have stolen in onlv 
 fron» the licentinusness of the festival. 
 The growmg inteinpennre would 
 gradually stain the service of (he vigii, 
 until tne festivity of it was converteti, 
 as it iK)w is, into the rigour of a fasi 
 
 making and fretpienting a'es, bear- 
 baitings, on the Sunday, or any other 
 i;:y vi' th»; week in time of divine ser- 
 vice or s'Muions ; and prohibittil for 
 the future ail superfluous and su[)cr- 
 siitieus ringing, common feasts, and 
 wakes. But the wake of the neigh- 
 bouring parish of Eccles is celebrated 
 among us to the piescnt d;iy. And 
 a considerable number of people re- 
 sort to it annually from our own and 
 the adjoining parishes. 
 
 This custom of celebrity in the 
 neighbourhood of the church, on the 
 days of particular saints, was intro- 
 duced into England from the conti- 
 nent, and must have been familiar 
 equally to the Britons and Saxons : 
 being observed among the churches 
 of Asia in the sixth century, and by 
 those of West-Europe in the seventh. 
 And equally in Asia and Europe, 
 equally on the continent and in the 
 ijidnd, these celebrities w^re the causes 
 of tiiose commercial ma;ts, which we 
 'ieijomiarafe f.iirs. The people resorted 
 crowds to the festival, and a con- 
 
 Tbese disorders would be less obno^i- ide: iblt^ provision would be wanted 
 
 ions on the day ii^elf, because they 
 did not intrude w ithia the church and 
 profane tiie prayers. But thty were 
 cerfninly gse i,er, Bad went on increas- 
 ing in viciousness and folly, until they 
 too justly scandalized the puritans of 
 tiie last century, and numbers of the 
 wakes were disused entirely. Our 
 own has been long discontinued. It 
 was not abolished in 1536" by the laws 
 of Henry VIII. which appears to Iwve 
 lipd little or no influence on the gene- 
 ral practice. It was put down by a 
 particular and local order in 1579, and 
 forgotten in the long and rigid reign 
 of puritanism that was then com- 
 mencing at Manchester. And Henry 
 earl of Derby, Henry, earl of Hun- 
 tingdon, William, lord-bishop of 
 Chester, and others of high commis- 
 sion under Queen Elizabeth, assembled 
 ^t Manchester in 1579 ; issued orders 
 against pipers and minstrels playing, 
 
 It (I thtir e'lertainiTvent. The prospect 
 jf hiterest invited the little traders of 
 li.e country to come and oft'er their 
 wares, .and the coi'venieuce cf the 
 accommodation promoted a vigorous 
 sale aruong the people. A\i<J other 
 traders were induced by the experi- 
 ence of these, to bring in ditfeient 
 articles, and hope for an equal sale. 
 Thus, among the many pavilior/j for 
 hospitality in the neighbourhood of 
 the church, various booths were 
 erected for the sale of commodities. 
 In large towns surrounded with popu- 
 lous districts, the resort of the people 
 to the wake would be great, and the 
 attendance of traders at the celebrity 
 numerous. And this resort and this 
 attendance constitute a fair. Basil ex- 
 pressly mentions the numerous appear- 
 ance of traders at these festival* in 
 Asia, and Gregory notes the same cus- 
 tom to be coimuoij iu Europe. And
 
 Interest inrj No rra fifes, E nig mas, Epiffi-ams, Toe try, %c. 
 
 as the festival was observed on a ftria 
 or holiday, it naturally usstinied to it- 
 self, and as naturally comniunicated 
 to the marl, the appellation of feria 
 or fair. The same anions tlie Saxon'*, 
 the French, the Germans, and ll.e 
 Britons, faeger, foire, feycr, a;d fair, 
 the word was derived from the samt' 
 source in all these natiocs, the one 
 ecclesiastical language of West-Eu- 
 rope at this period. And seviral of 
 o 11 Must ancient fairs appear to have 
 been actually held, unJ have been ac- 
 tiially continued to our time, on th*^ 
 original chuicii-ho'ldays of the places, 
 as that on the tiestival of St. Peter at 
 St. Peter's Ch. -ch in Westminster, 
 anotlfeir or* the feast of St. Cainbert 
 at St. Ciithbert's in Durham, avsd ■<. 
 third on the holiday of St. B.jrtholo- 
 mevv at St. Barthoiomew's in London. 
 
 A Cellar of Wine. 
 
 FLY, neighbours, my to'.ise is on fire, 
 Coms,qairk:y and brii:g nierelVf; 
 
 Or by Bacchus I goon shall expire. 
 Good neighboare attend to my grief. 
 
 It is not that I feir for my wife, 
 Tho' the chariKsr is alwa.y., Jivine; 
 
 The principal care of uiy lits 
 Is an excellent ceiiar of v ine. 
 
 In the flame should roy children all die, 
 'Twere a folly for me *o repine ; 
 
 The numbtr again I'd supply. 
 But cannot my cellar of vriue. 
 
 Should my mansion be burnt to thr grouad 
 I could build from a oetter Je.^ijjn: 
 
 But where, tell me where' • to be found, 
 Such an excellent ce'iarof wine. 
 
 Dogs, horses and all ha^e their charms, 
 
 But there's noueontno turf equals mine; 
 let them die and I'm free from alarms, 
 
 So I save but my cellar of wine. 
 The vintage was mash'd at my birtli. 
 
 And neighbours I'm twenty and nine; 
 Such liquor there's noi upon earth 
 
 Then help me to get oK" my wine. 
 
 The Contractors. An Epigram, 
 
 TO rob the public two contractors come, 
 One cheats in corn, ihe other cheats in rum ; 
 Who is the greater, if you cau, explain, 
 The rogue in s|5irit, or the rogue in grain. 
 
 Ticisting in .' I ! 
 
 We hear that a fellow was lately taken up 
 in (he neighbourhood of Biil!ock .Smithy, 
 on a violent Suspicion of hasing t:eea 
 " ticisied in," A copy of the rollowinjj 
 inPiaaiiHaiory Verse* was f;-niid in tUe 
 Pocket of this dangerous character. 
 
 QUAND un cordier, cordari', vent corder, 
 
 une corc'.e, 
 Pour cette corde derder trois condons il 
 
 accorde ; 
 .llais si un descerdonf,dela cordedescorde. 
 La cordon descordant fait descorder la cordc-. 
 
 The above French lines, thus ichimsically 
 translated and twisted by John IVallis. 
 
 When atwisterertvTisting,twisthimatwist, 
 Fjr the twisting his twist, he three times 
 
 doth entwist : 
 But if one of the twines of the twi?t diith 
 
 untwist. 
 The twine that unlwislelh, ui}t«isleth the 
 
 twist. 
 
 (And afterwards added four others.) 
 
 Entwirliiig the twine, that untwisted be* 
 
 tween, 
 He twirls, with his twister, the two in a 
 
 twine. 
 Then, twice having twisted the twines of 
 
 the twine, 
 H.e twisteth the twine, he had twined ia 
 
 twain. 
 
 (And afterwards.) 
 
 The twain, that in twining before in the 
 twine 
 
 As twines wereentwisted, he now doth un- 
 twine — 
 
 'Twixt the twain, intertwisting a twine 
 more between, 
 
 Ke twisting the twister, makes a twist of 
 the twine. 
 
 Authentic Copy of the Will of Mr. Jacket, 
 Thirty Years Clerk to Messrs. Fuller and 
 Vaughan, Bankers, who died suddenly.^ 
 
 I GIVE and bequeath 
 
 (When I'm laid underneath) 
 To my loving sisters most dtar,^ 
 
 The whole of my store. 
 
 Were it twice as much more. 
 Which God's goodness has granted me here. 
 
 And that none may prevent 
 
 This my will and intent, 
 Or occasion the least of law racket, 
 
 With a solemn appeal,t 
 
 I confirm, sign and seal. 
 This the true act and deed of Will. Jaclsett, 
 
 • Elizabeth and Ann. 
 f la the name of Gid, Ac.
 
 S58^ LHeranj Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Man cf Fdshmi's Journal 
 QUEKR dreams — ihouglit Suzctlc 
 mconstanr, and fifty other ineagriras, 
 o\\'\i\g to Sir Richard's clare: — aitvays 
 drink too much of it. Hose at »ne— bad 
 Jiead-acbe-tried patent coffee — rather 
 better — cast my eye over the nc^vspa- 
 pers-my friend Sir Ricliard paragraph- 
 ed — smiled at the joke — very good 
 pi>iHf— myself ji) j{*e nextcoiiunii — not 
 Mjwell pleased -sheer envy by theoods! 
 general election — mem. canvass as 
 »<.->on as possible — do not like duns, 
 fory troublesome — dressed by half 
 past three — clever fellow that 'lorn ; 
 iive to one better than my last valrt 
 — took an hours ride — a good horse 
 iny last purchase ; rrmember to Sell 
 him again — nothing iik^e variety- 
 sent Tom home with the horses-r- 
 called on Suzetle — did not seem quite 
 so fond — thought of my dream — 
 fancied I saw a man's hat in the 
 room, very mucii like Sir Richanl's 
 — mere imagination — strolled through 
 St James's street--passed caricature 
 
 shop — saw myself knew it direct- 
 
 ^'y — ^"Pry like — laughed it ofi" — Sir 
 Richard there also — very fair that — 
 ate two jellies, and purcha'ipd some 
 pities. J\Jet Bob Careless — rather 
 seedy — obliged to speak to him — 
 very old friend — promised to call on 
 him — lemeqiber to forget the appoint- 
 ment — dined at six with Sir Richard 
 — thought I saw Suzette go out, not 
 certain — said several good things, 
 forgot them all — in high spirits — 
 quizz'd a parson — drank three bottles, 
 and lounged to the theatre — comedy 
 or tragedy, forgot which — saw the 
 last act — Kcmble toll-loll — not quite 
 certain whether it was Kemble hy not 
 —Mrs. Siddons monstrous fine — got 
 into a hack— -tvet down in St James's 
 street — dipped a little with the boy> 
 at hazard — confounded bad luck, lost 
 all my money, and forgot to call on 
 
 ir>U2ette. 
 
 Epigram. 
 
 WHEN Ijovelace married lady Jenny, 
 M'Lose beauty was the ready petiiiy ; 
 " I choose her," said lie, " like old pl.ife, 
 Kci Ibi- ihejashion, but (he icei'i^ld.'' 
 
 A Wager decided. 
 SU€H little chance I'd always foani 
 
 Of gaininsr Betsey for my wife. 
 That I had wager'd Dick a pound 
 
 I shonld not win her al! my life. 
 
 Diit, thanks to heav'n, my anxious care 
 Is ail reoiov'd — the knot isty'd — 
 
 And Betsey, fairest of the fair, 
 Consents at length to he my bride. 
 
 To Dick, then, as in honour bound, 
 MVtll pleas'd, I hold myself in debt ; 
 
 TJius, by Ih.' odde-t tuck, '*M found, 
 Itoseaiy wager — ir/nmy Bet. 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 CniNVANG, the Chaste, ascerid- 
 ii)g tlie throne of China, conimanded 
 that all who were unjustly detaineil in 
 prison, during the preceding reign, 
 should be set free. Among the num- 
 ber that came to thank their deliverer 
 On this occasion, was a majestic old 
 man, w ho falling at the emperor's ii^tt, 
 addressed himself as follows : " Great 
 father of China, behold a wretch 
 now eighty-five years old, who was 
 shut up ill a dungeon at the age of 
 twenty-two. I was imprisoned though 
 a stranger to crime, or without ever 
 being confronted by my accusers. I 
 have now lived in solitude and dark- 
 ness near sixty-three years, and am 
 grown familar with distress. I have 
 been wandering tiirough the streets to 
 find some friend that would assist, re- 
 lieve, or remember me ; but my 
 frieuds, family, and relations are ait 
 dead, and I am forgotten. — Permit 
 me, therefore, O Chinvang, to wear 
 out the remainder of my wrefched 
 life in my former prison; the walls of 
 which are to me more pleasing than 
 the most splendid palace. I have not 
 long to live, and shall be unhappy 
 except I spend the remainder of my 
 days where my youlli was passed, in 
 I hat prison from whence you were 
 pleased to release me." 
 
 OnfimUng a Pair of Shoes on a Lady's Bed. 
 WKLL miy suspicion slinlie his head, 
 
 Well may Clorinda's spoufe be jealous ! 
 \yhen the dear wanton takes (o bed. 
 Her very shoes, be-caase tbe;)*.e/ti/oic*^.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Etsiffmas, Epigrams, Poefrj/, SfC. 359 
 
 The last Will of Mr. Matthew A y (U' 
 
 New England. 
 TO my dtar wife, 
 My joy and life, 
 I freely now do give her 
 My whole estate, 
 With all my plate, 
 Being just about to leave her. 
 
 A tub of ?oap, 
 
 A long cart rope, 
 A frying pan and kettte, 
 
 An ashen pail, 
 
 A thrashing flail, 
 An iron wedge and beetle. 
 
 Two painted chair?. 
 
 Nine wardens' pears, 
 A large oid drippini; platter, 
 
 The !)ed of hay , 
 
 On which I lay, 
 An old sance-paa for butter. 
 
 A little mug, 
 
 A two quart jug. 
 A bottie full of brandy, 
 
 A looking glaw 
 
 To see your face, 
 Yon'U find it very handy, 
 
 A mnsket true 
 
 As ever Gew, 
 A pound of Fhot and wallet. 
 
 My calabash, 
 
 A leather sash 
 My powder horn and bullets. 
 
 An old sword blade, 
 
 A garden spade, 
 A boe, a rake, a ladder, 
 
 A wooden can, 
 
 A close-stool pan, 
 A clyster-pipe and bladder. 
 
 A greasy hat, 
 
 My old ram cat, 
 A yard and half of linen, 
 
 A pot of grea>e, 
 
 A woollen fleece. 
 In order for yoar spinning. 
 
 A small-tooth-comb, 
 
 An ashen broum, 
 A candlestick and hatchet, 
 
 A coverlid 
 
 Strip'J down with red, 
 A bag of rags to patch it. 
 
 A ragged mat, 
 
 A tub of fat, 
 A baok put out ijy Bunyan, 
 
 Another book 
 
 By Robin Rooke, 
 A skain or two of spiiu-yarn. 
 
 An old black mufT, 
 
 Some garden stu.f, 
 Aquanli;y of borrage, 
 
 Some devil's weod, 
 
 And burdock s^ed, 
 To season well your pxirridgs. 
 
 A chaffing dish. 
 
 With one salt iish. 
 If I am not mistaken, 
 
 A )pg of pork, 
 
 A broken fork. 
 And half a Sitch of bacon> 
 
 A spinning wheel. 
 
 One peck of meal, 
 A knife without a handle^ 
 
 Arnsty lamp, 
 
 Two quarts of samp. 
 And half a taliow caadle. 
 
 TvTy ponch and pipes, 
 
 Two oxen tripes, 
 An oaken dish well carved ; 
 
 My little dog, 
 
 And spotted hog, 
 With two ysung pigs just starvea. 
 
 This is ray store, 
 
 T have no more, 
 I heartily do give it, 
 
 P.Iy years are spun, 
 
 My days are done. 
 And so I think to leave it. 
 
 Marble. 
 
 THERE is a slair case aft Rom f, 
 consisting of one hundred and righty- 
 tliree steps, and sufficiently vide to 
 admit a man to ascend out of tlia 
 solid rriarbie, leavinj^ a small pillar in 
 the middle, round which the siairs 
 wind from the bottom to the top. 
 
 (Moors View of Rome. J I'ol. i. 
 
 Epigram. 
 
 OF generals don't tell me, of , and snch 
 
 boys. 
 Nor of Hill, tho!}gh I mean not their 
 laurels to taint ; 
 The general I'm sure that will make the 
 most noise, 
 IJ the irnr should go en, will be General 
 Complaint, 
 
 On the Bishop of Carl isle'' s CoaeJiman, vho 
 died in Bath Written by a Stable Boy. 
 
 HF.RE lies the bishop's coachman, Ned 
 V\'\iO seldom sober went to lied ; 
 i;'.'! f hnt means aothinjj nt>w he's dead. 
 Alas ! jfoor Ned : 
 
 •"ulTice it thus much to relate, 
 "Te drf>vf (o Bath to fly his fa'e ; 
 "ut fate i-.etirniin'd, longbefr.re. 
 That Ned rrnru Hatli should couie no marr , 
 Aias ! poor Ned 1
 
 360 TJteranj do'iosifies, EpUajfJis, ITonderful Emerds^ 
 
 Extraordinary Duel. 
 
 THE folloHincf lelters and account 
 are exlracttii f|oiii a nianu^ciipt foiiiKl 
 it) tilt libriiiyof Mr. Goodwin, author 
 of the life o\' Henry — -— -, at the latter 
 eiui of whose reign the atlair is sup- 
 posed to have happened : — [The ortho- 
 graphy alone iias been alteitd. 
 
 Bis Grace the Duke of B ■ to \ 
 
 the Lord B-~ — -. 
 
 [Ceing the first letter tnit passed be- 
 tween then!.] 
 
 " My Lord, 
 
 "The affront whieh yon pave me 
 at the Imperial Minister's bail hist 
 iii^ihf, would are;ue nie a person very 
 unworthy the character I bear, to let 
 it pasb unregarded. To prove me 'L'at 
 adventurous kni;:^ht, which jour eva- 
 sive expression would have given the 
 noble lady to understand, mriy per- 
 haps be the most acceptable means to 
 reconcile yotir spleen : convince me 
 then that you are more of a gentleman 
 than I have reason to believe, by 
 meeting me near the first tree, behind 
 the Lodge in Hyde-Park, precisely at 
 half-past five to morrow morning ; and 
 that there may be no pretensions to 
 delay, I have sent by the bearer of 
 this, two swords, of which I give you, 
 the privilege to make a choice, and 
 shall approve of whatever terms of 
 fighting you will be pleased to propose. 
 In the interim I wish your lordship a 
 good rest. B . 
 
 " Whitekall, 9 Clock" 
 
 Lord B 's Answer to the above, 
 
 " I RECEIVED your Grace's mes- 
 sage, aHdacceptthecontents, Itwould 
 give me a seusible concern to be obli- 
 ged to give up the pretensions which 
 your Grace is doubtful of. It was an 
 oversight, I premme, that your Grace 
 gave nie the privilege to choose ray 
 sword, except your Grace has been $o 
 little used to this sort of ceremony, as 
 to have forgot thatitisthe chaiienf'cr's 
 
 choice. This, however, is but a tri" 
 f!e (if any thing) the terms I leave to 
 our seconds, and will not fail to 
 apjicar at the time appointed, and in 
 the interim I wish your Giace a very 
 
 good night. 15 . 
 
 " Carendish-Sqvare , 10 o' Clock." 
 
 After my lord B. had answered 
 hi? Grace's letter, ise visited several of 
 his fiipnds, aisd was observed to be 
 remarkably jocose when at Lady Not- 
 tingham's; v. liitih oorasiuncd a young 
 lady, after his departure, to remark, 
 that she fai:cied there was something 
 very agrce;ible to his lordship renewed 
 again, relating to the countess of E — , 
 well knowing his extraordinary phssion 
 fr-r that lady. He told the messenger 
 that carried his letter, to bring his 
 (5race's answer to Lieutenant-General 
 D'Lee's, the gentleman whom he had 
 pitched upon for his second, and with 
 whosn he lay that night, at his house 
 in St. James's-street, which wajsdone. 
 About four in the morning his lord- 
 ship waked, and got softly up, without 
 (as he thought) being observed by his 
 bedfellow ; and dressing himself, 
 buckled on his sword, and fixing two 
 agate flints in his pist«ls, then charged 
 them; but recollecting that his Grace's 
 seconds would probably desire to see 
 the»n loaded, drew them again. 
 
 By this time the lieutenant was 
 awake, and observing his lordship to 
 take a book out of his pocket, thought 
 it improper to give him to know he 
 was observed. His lordship kneeled 
 down by a small jasper table in the 
 Lieutenant's bed room, and seemed to 
 pray with great devotion for a quarter 
 of an hour, often repeating, just loud 
 enough to be heard, the errors of his- 
 youthful days, and fervently suppli- 
 cated the Almighty not to impute 
 them ; after which he arose, and bid 
 the lieutenant awake, for he would 
 not willingty have his Grace, he said, 
 wait a moment, as the morning was a 
 little rainy, and cold withal. By the 
 time tirey were accoutred, it wanted
 
 hiteresfinf/ Narrafires, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetnj, ^c. 361 
 
 just Ivilf an liour of the appointed 
 rime. Lieutenant D'Lee desired to view 
 his lordship's sword, and examining the 
 point and handlevery cautiously, then 
 returned it, by adding, that he heartily 
 wished it was going to be oniplnyed in a 
 ranse more serviccabJc to his country ; 
 Ms lordship answered, it could be of lit- 
 tle coiJse(juence iu that respect, let the 
 event be wh;it it would. 
 
 Just as his lordship was opening the 
 »]nor for their departure, the lieu- 
 tenant general desired to know if theie 
 wa$ any thing his lordshii) thought 
 proper to coniuninicate; to which he 
 replied, ir. was very fortunate that he 
 had mentioned that, and delivered a 
 letter, directed for the right honour- 
 able the countess of E — , desiring 
 that he would give it to her alone, 
 and not upon any consideration trust 
 it to another hand; as for his family 
 affairs, he said they were already set- 
 tled according to his will. On this 
 they immediately left the apartment, 
 and arrived somewhat before the 
 appointed time, and took several turns 
 from the. lodge to the tree. His lord- 
 ship several times expressed wonder 
 at his grace's delay, though it was 
 not two rninutesby lieutenant D'Lee's 
 watch above the limited hour, when 
 he arrived, attended with one second 
 only. 
 
 He bid his lordship a good morning, 
 and hoped they ha,d not waited for 
 them long ; tlien pulled out his watch, 
 said he had hit it to a point ; adding, at 
 the same time, that he had rather die 
 than break his promise upon such an 
 occasion. His lordship returned the 
 expression with this addition, that 
 though they had waited a little, there 
 was sufficient time left to dispatch the 
 business they wore upon, 'I'o v.hich 
 his grace replied, the sooner it is dis- 
 patched, the more leisure there will 
 be behind, in the interim, the 
 seconds were pairing tlic swords, and 
 each one loaded his adversary's pistols; 
 then agreed to the following' terms : 
 •VIZ. First.— That the distaace of 
 
 firing should not be less, at either 
 \\me, than seven yards and a half. 
 Secondly. — That if either should be 
 dangerously wounded the first dis- 
 charge, the duel should cease, if the 
 wounded person would own his life ia 
 the hands of his antagonist. Thirdly. 
 — That between the firing and draw- 
 ing their swords there should be no 
 limited time, but each Should endea- 
 vour to make the first thrust. 
 Fourthly. — That if either should yield 
 as in the second article, during the 
 engagement with sword, whether by 
 a wound, false step, or any other 
 means, then the engagement should 
 cease. — To which four articles thev 
 both consented. His grace stripped 
 ofl" his coat, which was scarlet trim- 
 med with broad gold lace, when my 
 Lord B — s second stepped in to un- 
 button his waistcoat, on which, witli 
 some indignation, his grace replied, 
 do you take me to be a person of so 
 little honour, as to defend myself by 
 such base means, as hiding a shield 
 under my doublet? Lieutenant Gen- 
 era! D'Lee desired his excuse, adding, 
 he was bound in honour to .see justice 
 to the cause he had espoused. 
 
 The same ceremony passed upon 
 bis lordship, who had already pulled 
 off his coat, wbi^b was crimson witb 
 broad silver lace; and both the com- 
 batants being now ready, my Lord 
 B — , added, " Now if it please your 
 grace, come on," when they instantly 
 both stepped into the circle. His 
 grace fired and missed, but my Lord 
 B — , perhaps from more experience, 
 knew that battles were, seldom won 
 by hasty measures, deliberately level- 
 led his, and wounded his antagoqisi; 
 near the throat. They both discharg- 
 ed again, when his lordihip received 
 a slight wound in his turn, on whicb 
 they instantly drew their swords, and 
 imp«tuously charged each other, ra- 
 ther each of them meditating tllfe 
 death of his adversary, than his owft 
 safety. In the first or second thrust 
 " A
 
 362 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events,- 
 
 L^rd B — entangled the toe of his 
 pump in a fust of grass, and in evad- 
 ing a push from his antagonist, fell on 
 his right side, but supporting himself 
 with the sword hand, by inconceiv- 
 able dexterity, sprung backwards, j 
 and evaded the push apparently aimed ! 
 at his heart. 
 
 A little pause intervening here, his 
 grace's second proposed to his lord- 
 ship a reconciliation ; but the ardent 
 thirst after «ach other's blood so over- 
 powered the strongest arguments of 
 reason, that they insisted to execute 
 each others will, whatever might be 
 the consequence. Nay, the anger of 
 his grace was raised to such a pitch 
 of revenge, that he in that critical 
 moment swore, if for the future, 
 either of the seconds interposed, he 
 would make his w'ay through his 
 Ijody. — Thus, after finding all remon- 
 strances of saving them without effect, 
 the seconds retired to their limited 
 distance, and perhaps one of the 
 most extraordinary duels ensued, that 
 the records of history can produce, 
 fairly disputed hand to hand. The 
 parrying afier this interval brought on 
 a close lock, which Monsieur de Bar- 
 reux says, nothing but the key of the 
 body can open; in this position they 
 stood for, I dare say, a minute, striv- 
 ing to disengage each other by succes- 
 sive wrenches; in one of which his 
 grace's sword point got entangled in 
 the guard of his lordship's, which, in 
 fact, his lordship overlooked ; so that 
 this disadvantage was recovered by 
 his grace, befoie the consequence, 
 which it might have brought on, was 
 executed. At last, in a very strong 
 wrench on both sides, their swords 
 sprung from their hands; 1 dare say, 
 his lordship's flew six or seven yards 
 upright. 
 
 This accident, however, did not 
 retard the affair a moment, but both 
 seizing their thistles at the same time, 
 the duel was renewed with as much 
 malevolence as ever. By this time 
 
 his lordship had received a thrust 
 through the inner part of his sword 
 arm, passing right forward to the ex- 
 terior part of the elbow ; his, at the 
 same tinie, passing a little over that 
 of his antagonist, but alertly drawing 
 back, I think partly before his grace 
 had recovered his push, run hin» 
 through the body a little above the 
 right pap. His lordship's sword being 
 tlius engaged, nothing was left for his 
 defence but a naked left arm, and 
 his grace being in this dangerous 
 situation, yet had fair play at almost 
 any part of his lordship's body ; yet 
 he bravely put by several thrusts ex- 
 actly levelled at his throat, till at 
 last, having two lingers cut off by 
 defending the pushes, and the rest 
 mangled to a terrible degree, his 
 grace lodged his sword exactly one 
 rib below his heart, and in this af- 
 fecting condition they both stood 
 without being able to make another 
 push, and each of them, by this time 
 was in a maniser covered with blood 
 and gore ; wlien both the seconds 
 stepped in, and begged they would 
 consider their situation, and the good 
 of their futuie state; >et neither 
 would consent to part, until, by the 
 greater loss of blood which his lord- 
 ship sustained, in being hist wounded, 
 he fell down senseless, but in such a 
 position, that he drew his sword out 
 of his grace's, body ; but recovering 
 hinftelf a little before he was quite 
 down, faultered forward, and falling 
 with his thigh across his sword, snap- 
 ped it in the middle. . 
 
 His grace observing that he. was no 
 longer capable of defence, or sensible 
 of danger, inunediuteiy broke his own, 
 and fell on his body with the deepest 
 signs of concern, and both expired 
 before any assistance could be got, 
 though Dr: I'ounlain had orders Irom 
 his grace not to bo out of the \\ay. 
 in case he should be cailtd upon that 
 morning. Thus fell these two gallant 
 men, whose persor.al bravery history
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, Sfc. 363 
 
 can scarcely equal, and whose honour 
 notliirii; but such » cause could staiK 
 This anecdote was signed R. Dttr- 
 huriU, who, it is presumed, was his 
 grace's secOiid. 
 
 The Kiss repaid. 
 
 AS Roger with his Jug was walkiag, 
 Smiling fuU blitli, and gaily talking; 
 Sir John, an aiu'rous kuight, pass'd by, 
 And chauc'd on Jug to cast his eye ; 
 And with her Dative beauty pleas'd, 
 The rustick husband thus address'd. 
 " Hail, honest friend ! why odds my life ! 
 *•' You're got a wond'rous pretty wife ! 
 " If you'll permit me one small favour, 
 " To kiss her once, I mean and leare her, 
 " When e'er yon chance to meet my dame, 
 " You shall be welcome to the same." 
 Quoth Roger, " If that's all you crave, 
 " Your worship freely has my leave.'' 
 The knig'u.' etepp'd up -.vi'.hout delay, 
 Kiss'd her, and walk d content away. 
 
 Some few days after this, in haste 
 As o'er the meadows Roger past, 
 His gentle friend, Sir John he spy'd, 
 My laciy tripping by his side ; 
 Hebow'd,and though his mouth did water, 
 Pass'd on, aud. niention'd not the matter. 
 The knight tbea spying him says, "friend, 
 " To promises I always stand, 
 " See here my wife at your command 
 The closvn approach'd and kiss'd the dame. 
 Then fir'd with more than usual flame, 
 He went, and to himself thus said 
 " Siucethe good kuight so well has paid 
 " His promise, troth 1 had much r;ither, 
 '•' He'd gone with Jug a little farther." 
 
 'friend, > 
 and." 5 
 
 The Wish. 
 
 WOULD fortune but on me bestow, 
 
 ('Tis what I've wish'd for long ago) 
 
 A living that wou'd make me clear 
 
 About two hundred poumisayear; 
 
 My parish not to quarrels prone. 
 
 Willing to give me what's my own ; 
 
 A house convenient, but not great ; 
 
 A garden tho' not grand, ye( neat ; 
 
 A dove-house, fish-pond, and a stable, 
 
 And always plenty at, my table ; 
 
 My cellar always stock't \'^jlh liquor. 
 
 To treat a neig'hbouriwg squire, or vicar ; 
 
 Ib winter store of wood for fire, 
 
 A horse to fox-Lunt with the "squire: 
 
 These things oblain'd I nought shou'd want, 
 
 IF .Koily my request wou'd gram: 
 
 These wilu her charms in my possessing 
 
 Wou'd be oa earili the grtatcst blessing. 
 
 Alii c dote. 
 
 ANNO 1779, one Mr. Constable 
 of Wooivrich, pussjnu through the 
 chuicii-yaril ot that place, at twelve 
 o'clock lit night, was surpvi-.cd to hear 
 a loud noise, like that of several per- 
 sons singing; at first he thought it 
 proceeded from the church ; but on 
 going to the ckurch doors, found 
 them shut fast, and all within silent. 
 The noise continuing, he looked round 
 the church-yard, and observed a light 
 in one of the large family tombs: 
 going lip to it, he found some drunken 
 -aiUirs, who had got into a vault, and 
 were regaling themselves with bread, 
 cheese, tobacco, and strong beer. 
 They told him they belonged to the 
 Robuste man of war, and tliey having 
 resolved to have jolly ni^ht on shore, 
 they had kept it up in a neighbouring 
 alehouse, till they were turned oul by 
 the landlord, and obliged to take 
 shelter here, to finish the evening. 
 In their jollity, they had opened ^ome 
 of the coffins, and cramaied the 
 mouth of one of the bodies lull of 
 bread, cheese, and beer. Mr. Consta-. 
 ble, with much difficulty, prevailed 
 on them to return to their ship. In 
 their way thither, one of them being 
 much ill liquor, fell down and was 
 suftccatcd m the mud. On which 
 his comrades took him up on their 
 'houlders, brin;nn<: him back to sleep 
 in company with the honest gemmcn 
 ■vuh whom he passed the evening. 
 
 Requisites in « LaW'Suit, 
 
 A Lady asked bei uncle, a vete- 
 >iii attorney, what were ihe requisites 
 fwi going to law ; he answered thus. 
 " I'll teil you, Miiria : - fir- ., a good 
 cauf't ; secondly, d good pu. sr; ■. rd- 
 \) , ■& ^ood uito.ney ; fourth'^, . ^ood 
 counsel, hn.Ay, a good Judge ; sixth- 
 ly a g(M)d jury; seventhly, good 
 luck." 
 
 3 A 5!
 
 364 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Etenis, 
 
 The Case nearly in Pc^nt. 
 
 A WHOLESALE trader of the 
 city set up his eldest son in business, 
 at , on condition of l)is pur- 
 chasing all his goods of his father. 
 The father was benefited by if ; the 
 son, by his industry, was, after some 
 lime, enabled to marry and provide in 
 a decent manner for a family, (a pleas- 
 ing circumstance to his father) the son, 
 at the same time, adding greatly to his 
 father's success. Can any man in trade 
 picture to himself a more happy situa- 
 tion 1 No wise man could wish for 
 more. His success might be envied, 
 by his neighbours saying, "thisswn 
 is the most dutifully-foolish man I ever 
 knew, to continue to buy all his goods 
 of an avaricious father, when we could 
 serve him in juo^t articles on better 
 terms, but he is so infatuated that 
 there is no such tiling as moving hisn, 
 nothing is good but what comes out 
 of his father's warehouse." 
 
 At last his wife (a second wife, by 
 whom he had another son) an artful 
 north-country woman, insinuates to 
 
 her husband, that hi^ son, at ^ 
 
 is in such a fiourislriiig situation, and 
 getting money so fast that he ought to 
 assist his brotiier ; whose extrava- 
 gance, by-the-byc, had almost ruined 
 the father, and nearly brought himself 
 to a bankruptcy. What does the old 
 dotard do ? He is so weak and wicked 
 as to follow her advice, and demand 
 an annuity from the elder for the young 
 spendthrift. The elder refused, say- 
 ing it was s most unjust and unreason- 
 able demand. In short, the father 
 and son quarrelled ; the latter said 
 vtiy respectfully, "Sir, I have hitherto 
 paid you all the respect, duty, and 
 obedience, that a kind father could 
 expect from a grateful child, fully 
 sensible how ijuich he owes a good 
 parent for his care, indulgence, edu- 
 cation, and protection, I thank you 
 for the money you lent me to begin 
 business with, I he most of which I 
 Ijave already repaid you with interest, ^ 
 
 and hope soon to discharge the re- 
 mainder, and to make yuu sonie fu- 
 ture ackHowiedguient as I am enabif d. 
 The world thinks 1 have done wonders, 
 already; indeed it is astonishing, even 
 to myself, how 1 have got throuoh so 
 many snd great difticuhies, but by in- 
 defatigable industry 1 have surmounted 
 most of them. But don't, dear sir, 
 cramp me now aifd pull me bac^<, 
 when I :im just ready to surmount all 
 my difficulties and enlarge my trade 
 for your advantage. Have I not hi- 
 therto taken all my goods of yuu at 
 at yoMr own price, and tun willing to 
 continue the same coiTfspo3ideuce„ 
 though at a great disadvantage, and 
 have I not shewn you, by every act, 
 n>y duty, respect and atlection ? liut 
 I will not have my money forced from 
 me. Besides, sir, you do not consider 
 your own iutertst, for by every penny 
 you take out of my pocket, so much 
 is taken out of the circulation in my 
 trade, and consequently preventing by 
 so much the extension of your own 
 trade. My brother shall have every 
 reasonable assistance, when he merits 
 it, but the money I have got by honest 
 industry shall not be spent in common 
 houses, assemblies, masquerades, on 
 
 his w s, liis bastards, and his 
 
 flatterers, who are endeavouring by 
 every means to corrupt his morals and 
 destroy his constitution. Indeed, sir, 
 continues the son, this demand is not 
 only cruel, but unjyst and wicked, 
 therefore, in brief sir, I will not com- 
 
 The father was enraged, and thence- 
 forward did him every ill office in his 
 power ; he arrests him, throws him 
 into gaol, out of which he is soon 
 freed by his friends and neighbours. 
 His step-mother continues implacable. 
 The father follows heg advice, and 
 perseveres in his obstinacy. The son 
 continues firm in his resolution. The 
 brother, by his dissolute life, ruins the 
 father and his own constitution. The 
 wife deaeits thou both in their distress^
 
 Interesting Nm'rattves, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, ^c. 365 
 
 returns to her own country, lives there 
 in infamy, and dies despised and uii- 
 laniented ; while the eldest son pros- 
 pers, has offers of assistance, credit, 
 and correspondcHce from all parts ; 
 is courted by all, esteemed by all, 
 and commands respect from all, bid- 
 ding fair for being the first trader in 
 Europe; whilst the weak, obstinate, 
 deluded parent is scorned, neglected 
 and despised by those, who a short 
 time before looked up to him with 
 respect, conrled his friendship, with 
 assict. -'y, and 'ps assistance when they 
 waiit ;u It, dragging out a miserable 
 exisunce without one friend, except 
 an honest Irishman, whom he has of- 
 ten treated very scurvily. 
 
 The Yorkshire Jury. 
 
 AS the public frequently enjoys a 
 iaiigh at the expence of an Irish jury, 
 it is but fair to allow a little retaliation 
 in the case of a Yorkshire jury, who 
 at a late assize brought in a verdict 
 of manslatJghter, although the peisoji 
 so s/aug/itered w^s alive ; and when 
 recoinmer>ded to reconsider their vir- 
 tlict, they mended it by pronouncing 
 the prisoner not guilty. 
 
 In tlie Church yard oj H&etn Oaks, Kent. 
 
 GRIM death took me without any warning. 
 Was vrell at night, and dead at nine in the 
 ciornin?. 
 
 Onan empt^ Coxcomb. 
 
 YOU beat your pate, and fancy wit will 
 
 come, 
 Knock as yon please> there's nobody at 
 
 borne. 
 
 On a Lady who had her Portrait painted, 
 and sometimes used to leat her Husband. 
 
 COME hither, Sir John, my picture is 
 here, 
 
 What say yon, my love, does it strike yon? 
 I can't say it does just at present my dear ; 
 
 Bat I think it soon will, it's so liiie you. 
 
 Epigram. 
 
 LET Dick, some summer's day expose, 
 \ Before the sun hie moustrous nose. 
 And stretch his giant mouth to cause 
 Its shade to fall upon his jaws ; 
 With nose so long, and mouth so wide, 
 And those twelve grinders, side by side, 
 Dick, with a very little trial, 
 Would make an escellept sun-dial. 
 
 Upon a Tombstone in the Neighhcvrliood 
 q/'Lo ndon. By a Lady v-pon her Husband^ 
 
 O ! CRUEL death ! how cou'd you be so un- 
 kind, 
 
 To take biin before, and leave me behind? 
 
 You should have laken both of us, if eitJier ; 
 
 Which wouM have been more pleasing to 
 the survivor. 
 
 Upon a Sexton at St. Edmonsbury. 
 
 T THAT had carried a hundred bodies brave 
 Was carried by a fever to my grave : 
 I carried and was carried, so that's even : 
 May I be porter to the gates of heaven. 
 
 Epigram. 
 
 CRIES Celiatoa rev'rend dean, 
 What reason can be given. 
 
 Since marriage is a holy thing'. 
 That Uicre is none in heaven ? 
 
 There are no women, lie reply 'd: 
 She qnick returns the jest, 
 
 Women there are, but I'm afraid, 
 They cannot find a priest. 
 
 A Direction of a Letter put into the Post- 
 Office some time ago, 
 
 TO William Callaway now at Lyme, 
 T pt this be sent in proper time. 
 Von at the George in Lyme may leave it. 
 Whore he in person may receive it : 
 To make the case morn plain and clear. 
 Take notice, Lyme's in Dorsetshire. 
 
 An Epitaph upon a Letter Founder at 
 Oxford. 
 
 ' UNDER this stone lies honest Syl, 
 Who dy'd — — tho' sore against his will; 
 Yet in his fame he shall survive, 
 Learning stall keep his name alive; 
 For he the parent 'vas of letters, 
 He founded, to confoimd his betters; 
 Tho' what those letters shou'd contain 
 He never once disturb'd his brain. 
 Since, therefore, reader, he is gone. 
 Pray let him not be trod upon. 
 
 Epitaph upon an old covetous Miser. 
 
 YOU'D have me say, Here lies T. U. 
 
 But I do not believe it: 
 For after death therv's something rfue, 
 
 And he's goo* tc receive it.
 
 366 Literanj Cunosities, Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events, 
 
 The. da7ig:erous i'Jf'effs of mdden 
 
 Transport ; or, excrssive Joj/, jatul 
 
 as excessive Grief. 
 
 HARRIET was one of fhe brightest 
 <!xam|)Ies of conjugiU art"ecti(ni, and 
 donipstic economy, flial the island 
 could boast of at least this last cen- 
 tii!}'. The beauty of her face, and 
 t'ie<;anceof her person, tliout:ii sieat, 
 were far iMftrior to the qualilicaJioijs 
 of her iniis',! ; vvilh a soul elevated to 
 •an angelic split re of dignity, she had 
 jniiied christian hiiniility, and an un- 
 reserved aiTability, not only towards- 
 lier equals in rank and fortune, but 
 also to her inferiors. To her husband 
 Aicander, slie sacrificed all her charms; 
 Hud every accouiplishiu' nt she^ was 
 jr.istress of, she u^eA to rivet more 
 strongly, the pleasing chainsvvith wljirh 
 her beauty hail originally captivated 
 his heart. He was truly seuiihle of 
 her nurit snd his own liappiiies:^ ; and 
 vahx d, as every man nf sense will do, 
 a virtuous wife, as the greatest Lies- 
 sint:; I'.tav* n could bestow. He was 
 not like the many sti'pid wrelchfs, 
 as'uonji; our modern nien ol quality 
 and fashion, who are slaves tu ca, rice 
 and the most odious pa-;sions — Miser 
 ablel)eings! who, afrev the first en- 
 joyment, and sonieii[>;cs soon as tiie 
 sacred, promise tias b':en maJe at the 
 altar, break it, and (juit the lovely 
 lair one, with niore inilitlerencK than 
 ii found among the brute creation. 
 
 No wonder wlien sucti iiu :<I)an(is stray. 
 Their wives by esauiiJit lose Ititir way. 
 
 Alcander was a man of generou? 
 feelings and virtue; he knew himself 
 blessed ; and blpssed his amiable 
 Harriet in return, with love for love. 
 He was hardly happy but in her sight, 
 nor she but in his. What do I hear? 
 Some ladies exclamijig, " Oh ! the 
 unfashionable fools ! ce n'tst pas It 
 lion ton !" They will soon find their 
 own ways, and the bon ton gieater 
 folly. Alcander, in process of lime, 
 was obliged to go to Petersburg!!, to 
 
 take possession of some cunsiderable 
 eftects, wiuch had devolved on hinibf 
 the demise of a near reldtion, and 
 could not be done without his per- 
 sonal attendance. ihis separation 
 was an aftecting Sirpkc to his lovely 
 Harriet. She begged to accompany 
 hnn with ali the rhetoric she was mis- 
 tress of, but hi vain. Alcander loved 
 titr too dearly, to kt her risk the dan- 
 gers of tlie sea, and they parted with 
 mutual regret; she consoled herself 
 with the hope of his hap))y return at 
 (he end of four months, and immedi- 
 ately sent for his sister to keep her 
 company, and help her to pass away 
 the tedious hoursof her dear husband's 
 absence, with some degtee of content- 
 nieut. 
 
 Alcander's tister was witty, spright- 
 ly, and pretty, ajid her agreeable 
 I conversation greatly contributed to 
 I dissipate the glootu which spread too 
 I severely over Harriet's faithful breast. 
 Many attempts were made on her vir- 
 tue and chastity, and to seduce her 
 sister-in-law, by dignilied libertines, 
 who basely endeavoured {secundum 
 usum) to take advantage of the hus- 
 band and brother's absence; but their 
 arts and labours were vain ; they were 
 answered on both sides with scorn and 
 contempt, and the doors were shut 
 upon them. ' Thus prudently they 
 guarded themselves, not only from 
 ihe temptation, but even the appear- 
 ance of dishonour, and against the 
 slatider of evil tongues. 
 
 Alcander's voyage succeeded be- 
 yond hi.i wariiifst wishes ; he wrote to 
 Harriet evtry opportunity that otiered ; 
 and she, at last, received tue good 
 news of his having finished his atlairs, 
 and embarking at Peleisburgh for 
 London. 
 
 Slie daily expected his arrival, with 
 that impatience and transport of heart 
 vihich so atff'Clionate a wife could feci. 
 One day :js she was walking in the 
 garden with Alcander's sister, and a- 
 nolher young lady who came on a visit>
 
 I»terefithi() Narratives, Euk;mas, Epigrams, Boetry, S^c. SOT 
 
 a newspaper was bniisht iier, winch 
 contained an account of tbe ship ra 
 '.vhich lier husbynd had sailed, bein;,' 
 lost in a dreadful storm, and all on 
 board perished ! Soon as she came to 
 that fati.l part, she instantly swooned 
 away, and it was with the utmost dif- 
 ficulty that she was brought to iierseif 
 Hien she burst into the most mourn- 
 ful lamentations; and with heart- 
 breaking sighs and streams of tears, 
 exclaimed, " Is he gone ! must I never 
 see him more! Oh ! that ? had pe- 
 rished with h.im in tlie sea ! clasped 
 in his faithful arms, I could have died 
 happy snd contented!" In vain did her 
 sister (though herself overwhelmed 
 with grief) and the young lady, her ! 
 friend, endeavoured to assuage her 
 sorrows, by remonstrating to her, 
 that the nVws miqht be false, or that 
 it might be another sliip of the same 
 name, belonging to another port : 
 " No, no, excbinu'd she, I never 
 more shall see the husband of my 
 heart ! the defender of my life and 
 honour is no more 1"' At this instant, 
 Alcander entered, and flew to hot 
 arms, crying out, "yes I am liert ! 
 " my dearest lovely wife, my heart's 
 dearest blessin?, here I am !" No 
 sooner did fiie charmiiia Harriet be- 
 hold him, than she fell breaUilt'ss on 
 the giound, and his sister screamed 
 out for jf.y at the sight of htr be- 
 loved brother — but ^l! his, rare vvas to 
 recover isis lnve!y Hnrriet from death. 
 The too sudden traii^ition, from grief 
 to joy, had overroine her ; his d!,s- 
 traction at that sight, hindered' bin; 
 iit»t from 3dmii;islerii'g the most pro- 
 per remedies for her recovery ; bu' 
 his well-known voice, and the pressuiv 
 of his lips to hers, were the sovere'gi 
 halm which once moi-; restored Ikt to 
 life. The scene was then too tender 
 to describe ; after mutual endearmeiils 
 and congratulations on all siots were 
 linished, he related his advenlul^s, 
 a*d informed them, that the ship in 
 
 a stout vessel, wiih skilful sailors, had 
 \eathered it out, and ou'ne safe into 
 Varmouth ; but that the other sliip, 
 mentioned in the newsp.'.per, was one 
 rS the h-cvwe name belonging to New- 
 castle upon Tyne. 
 
 Alcander had brought home, to the 
 value of thirty thousand pounds — a 
 genteel addition to his fortune, and he 
 and his <b-u- Harriet now iive~ in the 
 utmost feiiaity, and perfect conjugal 
 affection, amiflst the love arid esteem 
 of friends, and the smiles of a nume- 
 rous and charming oirspring. 
 
 The Matelu 
 
 A r.OAT ING old fool l-.a;t a m;nd frir (o v.ed. 
 \nd he fook a gay wanton ycung ia-jsto bi'j 
 
 Stie married (he man for the sake of (he pelf; 
 III hopes of a spark, and a honssto Lierself. 
 When darkness was fied he would angle 
 
 till noon, 
 Gut once broke his lias and reSurning too 
 
 sonn, 
 ITe sui-pria'd the yoang couple whQv. 
 
 madam b.'f^:^n 
 Why so sullen, my dear? — look up like a 
 
 man ; 
 The 'squire has brought me the lemoas yoir 
 
 see, 
 Do hut get me Eome cork?, and the Honor's 
 
 for thee ; 
 This will warm yo:; wilhin, ii" it freezes or 
 
 shows: 
 And your house is insar'd as Ihe policy 
 
 shows : 
 Of a tnilh yofi've no need to bemoan your 
 
 i.a.-i luck, 
 lie has sent us besides the best [iart of a 
 
 h!!tk. 
 
 I am no such wood-cock, the huahaud 
 
 replies, 
 I know Ibatyoiir conduct my fortune sup- 
 
 ])lies ; 
 Bnt yet tho' this bounty my table adorns, 
 Whilst I eai oi the buck, I shall tliiuk of !ba 
 
 horns. 
 
 The Wise hkof. 
 
 A CiENT!-E.M\N had a son who. 
 was *leemc'd an idtot. The littk> fel- 
 low, when nine or ten years of age, 
 was fond of drumn;it!g, and dro|.t 
 
 his (liumslick into the draw-we!4. lie 
 which he came from Pe'ersburgh, tiad Ij knew that h's carelessness would b-:- 
 met \vith a violent storm ; but being j punished by its not being searched fui
 
 368 Liicvarij Curiosities, Kjtituphf!^ M'ondeiful Erenfs, 
 
 unci thoref<>:e <!i'.i not mention his loss, 
 hut piivateiy fouk a large silver punrli- 
 ladle, and ('ropped it into tlie same 
 Nveii. Strict rnqiiiry took place ; ti)r 
 servants all pleaded ignorance, and 
 looked vvitii suspicion on each oilier; 
 \i hen the young gentleman, who had 
 thrust hiniscii into the circle, said he 
 had observed something shine at tlie 
 bottom of the draw-well. A fellow 
 was dropt down in a buck< t, and soon 
 t'lnvled ont from the bortom, " I have 
 found the puucli-ladle, so wind me 
 lip." " Stoj), (roared out the lad) 
 stop, now your hand's in, you may as 
 well bring up my iirum~&iick." 
 
 The Country Sadpttr. 
 
 A COUNTRY scnI|)tor was order- 
 ed to engrave a tomb-stoi5e, in v. hid) 
 a disconsolate widower enumerated 
 his wife's virtues, with this motto : 
 
 *• A virtuous woman is a crown to tier 
 " liusbaiid." 
 
 But the artist finding the liiie too 
 
 long thus improved it : 
 " A virtuous woman is 5s. (ober linsband.'' 
 
 yinecdote. 
 
 THE piinceof Wales had been re- 
 peatedly applied to by Deipini, to 
 s])eak to the lord chamberlain to 
 grant him a Ikeiice for a play, at the 
 lillle theatre in the Hayrnarket, al- 
 Vvays pleading poverty: at last, when 
 he met his royal highness coming out 
 of Carlton-Uouse, he exclaimed, 
 " Ah! mon aitessc ! mon prince ! if 
 you no speak to my k»r chamberlain for 
 pauvre Deipini, 1 must go to your pa- 
 pa's bench." \ 
 
 The Furniture of a Woman's Mind. 
 
 A SET of phrases learnt liy rote, 
 A passion for a scarlet coat, 
 When at a play to laiigb, or cry, 
 Yef jcauiiot tell the rea=on why : 
 Never to liolJ her tunoae a minute ; 
 Whifg all she prates bis nothing in it. 
 
 Whole linurs can with a coxcomb sit, 
 
 And take bis nonsense all for wit : 
 
 Ilcr learning mounts to read a songr, 
 
 But, lislf tile words pronouncing wrong; 
 
 Itws eV'ry repi'.rtee in Ktore 
 
 She spotte ten thonsnnd times before ; 
 
 Can ready complitnents supply, 
 
 On all occasions, cut and dry. 
 
 Such hatred (o a parson's gown. 
 
 The sight will put her in a svi'oon, 
 
 Vur conversation well eodn'd ; 
 
 She call's it wilty to be rude ; 
 
 And placinif raiiery in railing, 
 
 Wili tell aloud yenr greatest failing. 
 
 Nor make a scruple to expose 
 
 Your bandy leg, or crooked nose; 
 
 Can, at her morning; tea, run o'er 
 
 The scandal of the day before. 
 
 Improving hourly in ber skill. 
 
 To cheat and wraugle at quadrille. 
 
 In chusinglace a critic nice. 
 Knows tea groat the lowest price ; 
 Can in her female clnbs dispute 
 What lining best the silk will snit, 
 What colours each complexion match. 
 And where witti art to place a patch. 
 
 If chance a mouse creeps in her sighl. 
 Can fiirely counterfeit a fright ; 
 So sweetly scream§ if it comes near hefj 
 She ravishes all hearts to hear her ; 
 Can dext'rously her husband teaze, 
 By taking fits when'er she please; 
 By frequent practice learns the trick, 
 At proper seasons to be sick ; 
 Thinks nothing gives one airs so pretty, 
 At once creating love and pity. 
 If Molly happens to be careless. 
 And but neglects to warm her hair-lace. 
 She gets a cold as sure as death, 
 And vows she scarce can fetch her breath", 
 Admires how modest women can 
 Be so robustious like a man. 
 
 In party, furious to her povcei* ; 
 A bitter wig, ortory sow'r; 
 Her arguments directly tend 
 Against the side she would defend : 
 Will prove herself a tory plain 
 From principles the whigs maintain j 
 And, to defend the whiggish cause; 
 Her topics from the lories drawe, 
 
 Oyes! if any man can tind 
 Hlore virtues in a woman's mind, 
 Let them be sent to Mrs. Harding ;• 
 She'll pay the charges to a farthing; 
 Take notice, she hag my commission 
 To add them in the next edition; 
 They may out-sell abetter thing; 
 So, holla boys ; God save the king. 
 
 * A Printer.
 
 fnferestinr/ Xcfrra tires, ErngmaSy Epigranif!, Poetrif^ 8sC. Sf^9 
 
 I'lxtracts from a curious Manuscript, 
 cofifaiuins: Direct iotts for the Hous- 
 ludd of King tJe7iry VIII. 
 
 HIS iiighness's baker sha!! not put 
 
 alluiJi ill the bread, or mix rye, oaten, 
 
 \ or beiiii flour wifli the same, and if 
 
 * detected, lie sliall be put into the 
 
 fttocks. 
 '' lii« highness's atteiidnnts are not to 
 
 steal juiy locks or keys, fab!es, forms, 
 cupboards, or oilier furniture, «>ul of 
 noblemen's or gentlemen's houses 
 where be goes to visit. 
 
 Master cooks sliall not employ snob 
 scullions as go about naked, or lie ali 
 night on the ground before the kitchen 
 tire. 
 
 No dogs to be kept in the court, 
 but only a few spaniels for the ladies. 
 
 Dinners to be at ten, and suppers at 
 four. 
 
 The o-fficers of his privy chamber 
 Ghall be loving together, no grudging 
 or grumbling, nor talkiag of the 
 king's pastime. 
 
 The king's barber is enjoined to be 
 cleanly, not to frequent the company 
 of misguided women, for fear of 
 danijer to the kuig's royal person. 
 
 There shall be no romping with the 
 maids on the stair case, by which 
 dishes and other things are often bro- 
 ken!!! 
 
 Care shall be taken of the pewter 
 spoons, and that the wooden ones, 
 used in the kitchen, be not broken 
 or stolen. 
 
 The pages shall not interrupt the 
 kitchen-maid — and he that gets one of 
 iheni with child, shall pay a tine of 
 two marks to his highness, and have 
 his allowance of Leer withheld for a 
 month. 
 
 The grooms shall not steal his 
 liighness's straw for bed, sufficient 
 being allowed for them. 
 
 Coal only to be allowed to the 
 king's, queen's, and Lady JNIary's 
 - chambers. 
 
 The brewers not to put any brim- 
 stone in the ale. 
 
 Among the fishes for the table is 
 mentioned I he porpoise; if too big 
 for a horse load, an extra allowance 
 to purveyor. 
 
 Twenty-four loaves a clay allowed 
 for his highness's greyhounds 
 
 Ordered — that all noblemen and 
 gentlemen, at the end of the session 
 of parliament, depart to their several 
 counties on pain of the royal displea- 
 sure ! ! ! 
 
 A Lapland Wndding. 
 
 IT is death in Lapland to marry 
 a maid witiiout her parents or friends 
 consent; therefore, if one bear afiec- 
 tion to a young maid, upon breaking 
 thereof to her friends, the fashion is, 
 that a day is appointed for their friends 
 to meet, to behold the two young 
 parties run a race together. The 
 maid is allowed in starting the advan- 
 tage of a third part in the race, so 
 that it is impossible, except she will of 
 herself, that she should be overtaken. 
 If the maid overrun her suitor, the 
 matter is ended: he must never Iiave 
 her, it being penal for the man to re- 
 new the offer of marriage. But if the 
 virgin hath aft'ection for iiini, thougli 
 at first running hard, to try tlic truth 
 of his love, she will (without Atalanta's 
 golden balls to retard her speed) pre- 
 tend some casualty, and a voluntary 
 halt before she cometl^ to make an 
 end of the race. Thus none arc com- 
 pelled to marry against their own 
 wills : and this is tlie cause. that in this 
 poor country the married people are 
 richer in their own contentment than 
 in other lands, where so many forced 
 matches make feigned love, and cause 
 real uuhappiuess. 
 
 On John Brovon. 
 
 HERE lies John Brown, & man of few 
 
 word*, 
 Wlio killed himself with eating of cnrds ; 
 But hail he been rul'd by Joan his wife, 
 He might havs liv'd ail tUe days of his life. 
 3 B
 
 37% Lfieran/ Curiosities, EpitapJis, Wondcrfftl Events, 
 
 A Love Letter from an Officer in the 
 Army, to a Widoio whom he had 
 never seen. 
 
 THOUGH I never, nradam, had 
 the happJDess to see you — nf>, not bO 
 inncli as in a picture — and cniise- 
 (juently can no more tell what com- 
 |)!exion j-ou are of, than one who lives 
 in the remotest part of China, I am 
 nevertheless most passionately in love 
 with you ; and this affection has taken 
 suA deep root in my heart, that on 
 my conscience! I could die a martyr 
 for you with as much chearfulness as 
 thousands have done for their religion, 
 who w#re as ignorant of the truth for 
 which they died, as 1 am of your 
 ladyship. 
 
 This declaration, madam, may per- 
 haps surprise you; but you will cease 
 to wonder, when I have acquainted 
 you what it was that not only gave 
 birth to my passion, but has effectually 
 confirmed it. Lately having occasion 
 to ride into Surry about some particu- 
 lar business, I noticed not far from i 
 the road, a most magnificent seat. 
 I\Iy curiosity was instantaneously raised 
 to know the owner of so beautiful a 
 j)ile; and being informeil that it be- 
 longs to your ladjship, I began that 
 very moment to have u strong inclina- 
 tion for you. When, therefore I was 
 farther assured that some two thous- 
 and acres of the best ground in Eng- 
 land appertained to this noble fabric, 
 together with a fine park, delightful 
 gardens, variety of fish-ponds, and 
 «ther desirable conveniences,! then fell 
 Hptt) the ears in love, and resolved to 
 eniiit myself among the number of 
 your knmble servants and sincere 
 admtrets. 
 
 " TUe owner of so many fine 
 things," said I to myself, " must needs 
 be the fin<st woman in the world. 
 What though she be old— her trees 
 are green ! What though she may have ' 
 !'o9l tlie lilies and t&e roses in her 
 
 cheeks — she has enough left in her 
 gardens! What though she :5hould he 
 barren— her fields are suthcient fruit- 
 ful." 
 
 With iJiese thoughts in my head, I 
 alighted from my horse, and at once 
 became so enamoured of your bdy- 
 sliip, that I told my passion to every 
 tree in your park ; and, by the bye, 
 they are the tallest, straightest, love- 
 liest, finest-shaped trees, I ever be- 
 held io my life. 
 
 I now appeal to your ladyship, w he- 
 ther any lover was ever iufiueuced by 
 more solid motives than your devoted 
 humble servant. Those who are 
 wholly captivated by beauty, will 
 infallibly find their passion decay 
 witlj the transitory charm which at 
 first attracted their regard ; and those 
 who pretend to admire a woman 
 merely for the qualities of her nfind, 
 nmst consider her soul as abstracted 
 from her body : but he who loves not 
 a woman in the flesh, as well as in the 
 spirit, is only fit, in my opinion, to 
 make love to a spectre; whereas my 
 passion, the sincerity of which you 
 cannot possibly doubt, is built on the 
 same foundation with your house, 
 grows with your trees, and will daily 
 increase with your estate. 
 
 For any thing I know lo the con- 
 trary, you may be the handsomest 
 woman in the kingdom; but whether 
 you are so or not, signifies little, 
 while you bave fortune enough to fix 
 my affection. I am a soldier by pro- 
 fession ; and as I have fou;;ht for pav, 
 by heaven's blessing ! I mean to love 
 for money. 
 
 All your other suitors would speak 
 the same language, if they were 
 equally honest ; and should you fiivour 
 this blunt address, by making choice 
 of me, I can aild, (or you*- coniiurt, 
 that you will be the first wonnm on 
 record, from the creation to llie pre- 
 sent hour, who ever loved a man for 
 tellin" her the truth.
 
 Inferesfiufi Narratives^ Enigmas^ Epigrams^ Poetry, S^c. 31 \ 
 
 The Disappointed Lady. 
 
 A;< Chloris on ber downy pillow lay, 
 'Tvvixt sleep and wafire, the morning slid 
 
 away ; 
 Soft at her chamber-door, a tap slie heard, 
 5he lisfen'd, and again — no one appeared ; 
 *' Who's there r' the sprightly nymph with 
 
 courage cries. 
 " Ma'ai, 'tis the man who for your la'ship 
 
 '' dies." 
 " Sure, 'tis delusion. What a dying lover! 
 •' Yet speak once more, whatis't you want, 
 
 " however?" 
 A second time those accents pierc'd her ear; 
 Sweet was the sound, transported was the 
 
 fair. 
 " At length mankind are jast," her la'ship 
 
 said, 
 Drew on her night-gown, then steptoutof 
 
 bed, 
 Look'd in the glass, confessed him in the 
 
 right, 
 • Who thinks me not a beauty, 'tis mere 
 
 " spite. 
 *' Assemble, ye coquettes, with envy burn, 
 " And view the wonders which my eye^ 
 
 " have done. 
 " la vain your pert and forward airs yoa 
 
 " try, 
 " Mankind, the more you court, the 
 
 " farther fly, 
 " And 'tis for me, and only me they die. 
 " But how shall I receive him," (cries the 
 
 dame,) 
 " Prudence allows not pity — I must blame. 
 " Perhaps, poor soul, he has sigh'd in secret 
 
 " l0Dg» 
 
 " Ere the presumptuous thought fell from 
 
 " his tongue: 
 " I am the cause, yet innocent, by heaven, 
 *• Why were those eyes for snch destruction 
 
 " given! 
 " 'Tis not my fault, I did not make one 
 
 " feature ," 
 Then turn'd the lock to view the dying 
 
 creature. 
 But ah I — Who shou'd th' enameur'd swain 
 
 now prove ? 
 A wretch who dy'd by trade — and not for 
 
 love. 
 Xo mortal pen can figure her surprize. 
 Willing to trust her ears, but not her eyes. 
 
 Epitaph. 
 
 HERE lies the body of Sir John Guise, 
 Nobody laughs, and nobody cries; 
 Where his somI is, and how it fares, 
 Nobody knows, and nobody cares. 
 
 Epitaph on a Collar- Maker's Wife. 
 
 HERE lies Anne Carter, 
 Wife of John Cartt-r, 
 Who sljpt her u»tk out of the collar. 
 
 A Husband's Advertisement. 
 FOR husbands to advertise the 
 public against giving credit to their 
 wives, has of iate been generally 
 fashionable — but for a man to caution 
 the public against giving credit to 
 in'mself, is an instap.ce of whimsicallity 
 which tlie history of advertising curi- 
 osities cannot parallel: — From a Man- 
 chester paper, the following is literally 
 transcribed ; — " This is to give notice, 
 that if any 'person, after this public 
 notice, trust me, Tltomas Spencer, 
 above one shilling for me, I am deter- 
 mined that I never will pay them, or 
 cause them to be paid, for mci-e than 
 above that value. — Thomas Spencer, 
 pensioner of Chelsea hospital. 
 
 The Glutton. 
 
 A WICKED corm'rant who, each m#al, 
 
 Cou'd eat six pounds of beef or veal. 
 
 One ev'ning in a tavern larder, 
 
 Of which he was a nice regarder, 
 
 Fix'd on a bouncing cod his eye». 
 
 Might half a score at least suffice *. 
 
 " Here, cook, let this be ready made." 
 
 " What all. Sir !■' "All except the head." 
 
 It quickly comes in butter swimming. 
 
 And, troth, he gave it a hearty trimming. 
 
 But e'er theiish was wholly clean'd. 
 
 He pufTdjandsweird.aud backward lean'd. 
 
 The waiters thought him surely dying, 
 
 And sent for a physician flying. 
 
 He comes, and orders clysters plenty, 
 
 Hoping by these his cask to empty, 
 
 The case, how'ver, seem'd desp'rate sliLI, 
 
 So all advis'd — to make his will. 
 
 "And shall I call a priest?" " No, lad, 
 
 *• I hope my case is not so bad ; 
 
 " And yet I'm somewhat out of breath, 
 
 " Well — jfl needs mnst yield to death, 
 
 "To die quite satisfy d I'd wish, 
 
 " So— bring the remnant of my fish." 
 
 I^'ewspapers. 
 
 " WAITER," said a traveller at a 
 country inn, " bring me a newspaper." 
 " Sir," said the waiter, '• we are 
 badly off for papers at present ; we 
 have lost the Day, we have neither 
 Sun nor Star ; a captain of a ship te 
 reading the Pilot ; and the only pa • 
 pers you can have are Old Times." 
 3 B 2
 
 372 Literary Curiosities^ Eplldphs. II onderful Ereiiia, 
 
 The Life of T'loiims IVcbei/,, Cardi- 
 nal, and Lord Chancellor of England 
 
 THOMAS WOLSEY, afterwards 
 arclibishop of York, chnnceiior of 
 Eiifjlantl, cardinal priest of St. Cecily, 
 and legate h. latere, was born at l!>s- 
 wich in Suffolk, in Mtirch, 1471. 
 He was descended, according to some 
 of 6iir best hi.storians, from poor but 
 honest parents; and the common tra- 
 dition is, that he was ihe son of a but- 
 cher ; though il appears iVom his fa- 
 ther's will, tliat he had an estate, 
 ^vhich in the possession of a plebeian 
 at that time was very considerable.,. 
 He was sent so early to the university 
 of Oxford, that he was bachelor of 
 arts at fourteen vears of a£;e, ar.d 
 from thence \v;.vs called the boy bat- 
 chelor. Soon after, he was elected 
 fellow of Magdalen-college ; and when 
 master of arts, had the care of the 
 school, adjoining to that college com- 
 mitted to him, where he was charged 
 with the education of three sons of 
 Thomas Grey, Marquis of Dorset, 
 who' presented liim to the rectory of 
 Lymington, into which he was insti- 
 tuted on the lOth of October, 1500. 
 lie had tjot long resided on this bene- 
 fice, before Sir Aniias Pawlet, a jus- 
 tice of the peace, set him in the stocks 
 for being drunk, as it is said, and ma- 
 Ising a disturbance at a fair in the 
 neighbourhood. But the knight had 
 reason afterwards to repent of this af- 
 front; for when Wolsey was made 
 lord chancellor, he sent for him, and, 
 after a severe expostulation, confined 
 faini for five or six years in the temple, 
 before he would grant him a discharge. 
 Upon tiie death of his patron the 
 Kiarquis, he projected some new me- 
 thed of pushing his fortune ; and ac- 
 cordingly procured himself to be ad- 
 mitted into the family of Henry Dean, 
 archbishop of Canterbury ; but that 
 prelate dying in February, 150'^, he 
 found means of applying himself to 
 Sir John Nsinfan, treasurer of Calais, 
 
 who being weakened by age and other 
 infirmities, tommilted the direction of 
 his post to iMr. Woi>>ey. who by his 
 recojnmendation wa.«. made one of the 
 King's chaplains; and in 1.506, was 
 instituted to the rectory of Redgrave, 
 in thediocfesc of Norwich. 
 
 Whilst he was king's chaplain, he 
 insinuated himself into the favour of 
 Dr. Richard Fox, bishop of Winche.s- 
 ler, and of Sir Thomas Lovel, chan- 
 cellor of the exchequer, who recom- 
 mended him to the king as a fit person 
 to be employed in negotiating the in- 
 tended marriage between Htnry VII. 
 ond Margaret, duchess dowager of 
 Savoy. He was accordingly des- 
 patched to the Eniperor Maximilian 
 her father, in Flanders, and relumed 
 with sucli expedition, that the king 
 seeing liim, imagined that he had 
 not been gone; and having reported 
 his embassy, he was rewarded with 
 the deanery of Lincoln, February S, 
 150S, and on the 20th of the same 
 month, was made prebendary of 
 Walton Brinhold, in that church. 
 Upon the accession of Henry VI If, 
 to the crown, he soon recommended 
 himself to the favour of the young 
 king, by adapting himself to his tem- 
 per and inclinations ; who, shortly 
 after the attainder of Sir Richard Emp- 
 son, conferred on him a grant of se- 
 veral lands and tenements, in the pa- 
 rish of St. Bride's, Fleet-street, which 
 by that knight's forfeituie devolved to 
 the crown. This grant is dated Octo- 
 ber 18, 1509, and Mr. Wolsey is 
 mentioned in it as counsellor and al- 
 moner to bis majesty, November 28, 
 1510, he was presented by the kin* 
 to the rectory of Torrington, in the 
 diocese of Exeter, being then bache- 
 lor of divinity; and on the I7tb of 
 February following, was made canon 
 of Windsor, and about the same time, 
 registrary of the order of the garter. 
 In 1512, he was preferred by Arch- 
 bishop Bambridge to the prebend of 
 Bugthorp, in tfce church of York, cf 
 
 I
 
 Inteyesthg Narratives, Eiiigmas, Eph/rams, Poetri/^ S^c. S/S 
 
 v.'hicli ill February foilQwinj^ he wns 
 made <ioan. \u 1513 he attduitHi (lie 
 kiiin; ill his expedition to France, who 
 conuiiitted to him the dircciion i«f the 
 supplies and provisions to be made for 
 the army; and upon the takms; of 
 Touniay, made hiii) bisiiop of that 
 city, and not loug :i<ier bi-iiop of Lin- 
 coln, to which ste iic was nominated 
 March 11, 1514; and November the 
 6lh followini^, upon the death of Car- 
 dinal Bambridge, lie iias translated fo 
 the archbishopric of York. Septem- 
 ber 7. 1515, he was made cardinal of 
 St. Cecily, by the interc'-t of the two 
 kings of England and France; and, 
 on the 22nd of Decendjer, lord chan- 
 cellor of England. 
 
 He wanted notiiing now to complete 
 his grandeur but a commission frosn 
 the pope to be iegafe a, latere, which 
 was expedited to hini in the year 151^. 
 Besides the prohts of the posts above 
 ineiationed, the king likewise bestowed 
 on him the rich abbey of St. Albans in ' 
 commendam, and the bishopric of 
 Durham, and afterwards that of Win- 
 ciiester; and with them he held in farm 
 the bishoprics of Bath, Worcester, 
 , and Hereford, enjoyed by foreign in- 
 cumbents. Frorn all these preferments, 
 and the numerous presents and pen- 
 sions, which he received from foreign 
 princes, his annual income exceeded 
 the revenues of the crown; and in this 
 capacity he kept eight hundred ser- 
 vants, among whom were nine or ten 
 lords, fifteen knights, and forty 'squires. 
 He had now absolutely engrossed the 
 king's favour to himself. All foreign 
 treaties and places of trust at home 
 •\vere under his direction. He acted 
 as he pleased, and his ascendant over 
 the king was such, that there never ap- 
 peared any party against him all the 
 time of his favour. He used the most 
 insinuating artifices to secure his mas- 
 ter to himself, undertaking to ease 
 him of the burden of government, 
 and to give him all the satisfaction of 
 j^. He wa? the mo^ earatst and 
 
 readiest of all the council to advance 
 the kini^'s sole will and intention ; and 
 wlit-rtas others adv:Kd his majesty to 
 leave his pleasures, and aliend his af- 
 fairs, the cardinal persuaded him to 
 what was most agreeable to bis iucii- 
 nations. Having gained this asccn- 
 dvint, he drew the k'ug into such 
 nieusures abroad, that the balance of 
 Europe was destroyed and his majesty 
 perj}otiially made the bubble oi those, 
 with whou), and for whom he nego- 
 tiated ; the cardinal's avarice being 
 fed, and his ambition flattered by the 
 emperor, the court of France, and 
 that of Kome' in their turns. With 
 regard to the conduct of affairs at 
 home, lie aflccted to govern without 
 parliaments, there being from the 
 seventh year cf the king's reign, after 
 which he got the great seal, but one 
 parliament m the fourteenth and fif- 
 teenth year?, and no more until the 
 twenty-first ; but he raised great sums 
 by loans and benevolences. And if 
 we consider him in the character of a 
 churchman, he was undoubtedly the 
 disgrace of his profession, being lewd 
 and vicious himself, and serving the 
 king in all his secret pleasures, and 
 most extravagantly proud and osten- 
 tatious, to support which, his ambi- 
 tion and covetousnessweve proportion- 
 able. He aspired to the popedom 
 upon the deaths of Leo. X. and 
 Adrian the VL but without success. 
 
 At last he fell under the king's dis- 
 pleasure. His too great obsequious- 
 ness to the see of Rome in the process 
 relating to the king's divorce from 
 Queen Catharine, and some inferior 
 accidents, concurred to destroy his 
 interest with his majesty. Upon this 
 the great seal was demanded of him 
 on the 2 8th of October, 15?9; his 
 goods were all seized for the king's 
 use, and himself impeached in parlia- 
 ment by a charge of forty-four arti- 
 cles, relating chieiiy to the exercise of 
 his Icgatine power contrary to law, 
 and the scandalous irregularities of bis
 
 374 Liieya-ry Curiosities, Epiiaphs^ Wonderful Events^ 
 
 life. Tiiis iiiipeacbiDtnt passed (he 
 bouse ol lords ; but wlieii it came to 
 the house of coinnions, it was so ef 
 fectiidllY defeated by the indu'^fry and 
 address of Thomas Cromuell, who 
 hati been his seivanl, tliat no treason 
 could be fixed upon iiiiU. Ho con- 
 tinued in liis retirement at Tlsiier in 
 Sorry imfi! about Easier, 1530, ivlien 
 !;e was ordered to re)>air to his diocese 
 of York; where he performed many 
 cliiiritable and popular acts, until, in 
 Jlie bej;inni!jg oi' November foilowirsg, 
 lit Wi)S arrested For hiuh treason by 
 tha Crirl of Nor'.iiuuiberiajid/and coni- 
 iniMcd to the custody of the lieu- 
 tenant of the tower, who had orders 
 to bring bini to Loudou. This dis- 
 grace idi'e* ted his mind to such a de- 
 fjree, thiit l-e fell sick at SlietHeld in 
 the e<irl of Shrewsbury's house, from 
 whence by slow degrees he went as 
 fiir as Leicester, where he is said to 
 have tt;ken poison, in order to put an 
 end to ids nuseriible life. In his last 
 aiiony he rcgrelleci, that he had not 
 served God with the same tidelity 
 he had always used towards his rovtd 
 inaslev; and died on the 2cjlh of 
 November, 1530, and was interred 
 in the abbey of Leicester. 
 
 He was the greatest instance many 
 ages had produced, of the \aiiety and 
 inconstancy of human tilings, both in 
 his rise and fall. By hii temper in 
 both it apjiears, that he was unworthy 
 of his greatness, aiut deserved what he 
 suffered. However, a great writer 
 declares, that few ever fell from so 
 high a station with less crimes object- 
 ed against them. And it must be ac- 
 knowledged, that his schemes for the 
 promotion of learning were noble and 
 well laid ; as appears from the seven 
 lec^ires, which he founded at Oxford^ 
 by his college there, nowCltrist-churA 
 and ilia school at Ipswich. 
 
 Epitaph on Siv John Vanburgh. 
 
 LTK lieavy on him, partli, for lie 
 laid many .n, heavy load ou tliee, 
 
 Parody /vom Hamlet. 
 
 TO walk or not to walk; that is the question' 
 Wliefher tis uobler in the mind to suffer 
 The jeers and scoffs of bair-brain'd jocliies, 
 Or boidly monnf tlie prancing steed, 
 \r.td by adven'tFous g-alinp — end them. 
 To ii!!e! To walk no more 1 And by a horse 
 
 (o say we end 
 The beait-fatiguing toils, and thousand 
 
 strides 
 The London cockney tal<es: 'tis a consnni- 
 
 maiion 
 Ardently to be wisU'd .'—To ride, (o fall,— 
 To fall — perchance to break one's neci; 
 
 ay ! there's the rub, 
 For in that ride what various ills may come. 
 Ere we have trotted on some few score 
 
 miles, 
 Mnst give us pause! — There's the respect, 
 That makes the unwilling walker bear 
 The painful toil of padding all his life: 
 For who would bear the whips and scorns 
 
 of coachmen, 
 Th' horse-dealer's wrong, the jockey's 
 
 contumely, 
 The jokes of oouutry-girls, the buck's as- 
 surance. 
 The insolence of Irish chairmen, and the 
 
 spurns 
 That often greet one's sides, from loaded 
 
 porters 
 In the crowded streets — when he himself 
 ('jMidst rural scenes) might bis quietus make 
 Upon a gentle pony ? 
 
 Epigram. 
 
 ON his jack-ass got Gaffer Joh» 
 
 And v\as no sooner got upon 
 
 But th' ass began to wince and kick, 
 
 Unmindful of his rider's slick. 
 
 When neighbour Simon chanc'd to pass 
 
 And saw John thresh hig stubborn ass, 
 
 lley, dey ! cried he, what's heretodo? 
 .lohn, let the creature have his way, 
 And shew yourself for once, I pray, 
 
 %l\e wiser of the two. 
 
 fn Glasgow Chnrch-gard, iii Scotland, 
 
 HERE ligs Mess Andrew Gray, 
 Of whom ne muckle good can I say; 
 He was ne quaker, for he had ne spirit ; 
 He wasne papist, for he had ue merit; 
 He was ne Turk, for bo drank nmckle wine; 
 He was ne Jew, for he eat muckle swine: 
 Fn!l forty years he preach'd, and lee'd ; 
 For which God doom'd him when hedee'd. 
 
 Epitaph. 
 
 HERE lies Dr. Evans, 
 
 Who dy'd as heliv'djat sixes and sevea.i
 
 Intel esfmg Narralires, Knigmas, Epigrams^ Pofitrt/, Sfc. 375 
 
 Plumb Pudding. 
 
 IN the year 17 IS, S^Ir. James 
 j^ustin, who sold the Persian ink, 
 made an entertainment to treat his 
 cusiomeis, at which he produced a 
 huge pudding, which wei;ihed 10501b, 
 Jt was from May 12 to 26 boiling. 
 and was brought in ludicrous proces- j 
 sion. in which above 40 of his inkmen ! 
 walked, from lledcross-strcef, South- 
 wark, to the Ue-toration, Spring- 
 gardens. He gave with it the best 
 part of an ox, with good store of P 
 wine. He afterwards baked a pud- ; 
 ding at the bottom of the Thames, i 
 in a tin pudding pan, with a cover, { 
 amongst a heap of lime ctt'^t in for j 
 the purpose: and Oldys was assured 
 by one that eat of it, thai ii was a 
 good pudding, though somewhat 
 wverbaked. 
 
 An Impromptu, — occasioned hy the Report 
 of Mr. Foofe^d having lost his leg. 
 
 THAT Leg may lose a Foot — I can con- 
 ceive ; 
 That Foot can lose a Leg — I'll ne'er believe. 
 
 Opinion of Socrates conceriiiri"- 
 Marriage and Single State. 
 
 THIS great philosopher being ask- 
 ed, whether it was better to marry 
 or to live single? made this reply: 
 
 "Whichsoever thou dost, it will 
 repeat thee : for, if tliou marriest not 
 thou wilt live discontented, die with- 
 out issue, and a strangei shall possess 
 thy goods. 
 
 " If thou dost marry, and thy 
 spouse bring thee dowry, her kinsfolk 
 will bend their brow, and her mother 
 will spurn at thee: if thou waite?t 
 only (or fair looks, thou wilt find 
 them turned to disdain ; if thy wife is 
 honost, thou wilt fear her death ; if 
 dishonest, thou wilt be weary of thy 
 life ; if she is barren, thuu wilt loath 
 her; and if fruitful, thy caie will be 
 increased." 
 
 Anecdote of a Fat Country Parson. 
 
 A CLERGYMAN, who iiad k.!)- 
 dozed over seriDOns in tht- pulpit, aiu^ 
 strong beer in his piirlour, lijpponed 
 one .Sundijy, after a plentilnl erop of 
 tylhes, to exert hiiust If mightily ; h\^ 
 text was, " The patience ■->{ job." 
 Deeply impressed with his own <l;s- 
 conrse, he, prrdjably for (he first linn, 
 acknouied::ed to his spouse at supper, 
 that he was sotnewJuU ciioleric, hut 
 that hereafter he was resolved to prac- 
 tice hirnseU, vviiat lie had preaclied t»> 
 others, liut, added he, kt ns refiesh 
 ourstlves with a mug of the best beer ; 
 remember the favourite barrel, luay 
 not ttiis be a proper time to give it 
 veat; the obedient wife pleased with 
 his good hiiinour, flew to the cellar, 
 I)ut, alas! tiie btrrel was sfavid, and 
 quite empty, What shoKJd she do?-, 
 there was no hiding. — .My dear, said 
 she, with despair in her c\es. what ti 
 said accident lias happened ! I «n) 
 sorry, rejjlied tite p irson, grave'v, if 
 anji one has met xvilh a misfortune ; 
 for my part if it rehles to me, I am 
 r.-soived lo hear it with christian p:\ti- 
 ejice; but uiiere is the oeer all thi? 
 while? A-hick-a-day, ?hat i- the very 
 thing; how it htis happened 1 cannot 
 uudeistand, but it is ah running on tiie 
 ground.— The parson fell into a violent 
 passion. My life, says she, do but 
 reflect upon your sermon, think of tiie 
 patience of Job. — .Job, s:iirt he, don't 
 talk to me of Job's patience. — Job 
 never had a barrel of such beer in his 
 life! 
 
 In P.ippon Chnrch-ynrd. 
 
 Here lies R. C. believe it who can, 
 \a upright, downrig^ht iiouest niaa. 
 
 Porta' Wanted, (copied from Uif 
 Wrapper of one of the Magaziw-s..) 
 
 WANTED a stout active min, 
 who fears the Lord, and ©An oa-ry 
 two-hundred weight.
 
 ^•76 Literary C/trh^ities, Epitajt/is, irondcrful Events^ 
 
 An Inrenlory ; or, the Poet's Personal 
 Estate. 
 
 SUCH care bavp misers of tbeir stores, 
 Siponjt bolts and bars defend thpjr doors, 
 i^lsuUers asid pins seciire the sash, 
 And iroii chests tlieir hoarded cash, 
 Kor with this caution rTin they ^leep, 
 Oppress'd with fo.irs they wakinj; keep ; 
 Hestlfjss thsy jiass the tedious nights, 
 Afraid of noiss, as boys of sprights ; 
 THe thouo^hts of haakrupts, tliiev&s or Sres 
 Corrode their covetous desires. 
 
 Vlijle t, devoid of care and cumber, 
 In nnlock'd garret tru^t tny lumber, 
 I never drears of p'und'ring robbers, 
 Of falling stocks, or trickin^t jobbers. 
 Fortune dees very rarely deign 
 To visit nie in form of coin 
 Vet seldom tails to condescend 
 To let a tester be my friend : 
 But oh ! the joys are almost killing'. 
 If in my purse a splendid sliilliug, 
 By cbance s'inuld make a short abode,! 
 Ne'er Caesar wilih more plea.«ure rode > 
 Triumphant thro' the shouting crowd. 3 
 Yet, be it known, IVe some estate 
 That's personal alrbo' not great: 
 Of which the following is a detail, 
 Of every item, and each chattel, 
 
 The gajret where I lodge «nd scrawl, 
 Hath many bveacLes oh the wl<ll ; 
 Which wisely are o'er laid with patches 
 Of ballads, madrigals and catches, 
 To grace iny room, and hide disaster, 
 Tbey serve for ornament and piaister. 
 
 At the npper end a shelf is plac'd, 
 With learned classic authors grac'd ; 
 Not as they antiently were sung, 1 
 
 But render 'd in the British tongue > 
 
 By Pope, Trapp, Addison and Young. 3 
 fc^onie works of Otway, Rowe, and Prior, 
 And Dryden, wLom I most admire. 
 There bold Lucretius stands by Creech, 
 Translated, in our modern speech. 
 A folio book ofShakespear's plays, 
 Printed in old King Jammpy's days; 
 Wliose, cover rustic hands have wore ont, 
 And half its latter'd pages tore out. 
 I've store of verse aad manuscripts, 
 And half a ream of printed slips. 
 Which I in person do retail. 
 To hny absjiy-lull of ale. 
 Bless me ! my sad forgetful head 
 Had almost quite forgot my bed, 
 W^hase antient structure, one Would guess. 
 Had se,°n the days of good qneen Bess;^ 
 
 For covering it has a rug, 
 At which the rats have many a tug; 
 Ttie curtains look like old relics 
 O'ih' mantlets wore by Norlh^'"'a Picts, 
 Viheu they fionj Scottish Highlands Qame, 
 1\} \i\ lhis!:ind wiiL sword and iliuue. 
 
 Perhaps yoii'll wonder very soon 
 Nothing to hear of dish and spoon. 
 Of kettles, porridge-pots, or platters, 
 Believe me, Sirs, I've no such matters; 
 Your spitsaud jacks, to me, are jokes, 
 My chimney very seldom smokes ; 
 I neither roast nor boii my meat, 
 And very rarely care to eat ; 
 So having the proverb set at nought. 
 Of being better fed than taught. 
 
 And since I know 'tis all in vain, 
 To whine and whindle, or complain, 
 I'm pvitient, cheurful, and content, 
 To bear the ills I pau't prevent. 
 
 Pleasant Readmit . 
 A YOUNG LADY of Brunswick, 
 an attendaiif on tiie iate duchess, iiior- 
 tilied that, iVont her neglected educa- 
 tion, she was precluded from joining 
 in the literary conversations wliicli 
 were frequently introduced at that 
 court, rerjuested her royal mistress to 
 furnish her with such books, as n)ight 
 enable her to remedy this defect. Her 
 royal highness, smiling, handed her 
 a dictionary ; and next day asked her 
 iiow she liked it. " O ! it is delight- 
 ful ! (said the fair student) here are 
 some books which I have seen, where 
 the words are so huddled together, 
 that one docs not know what to make 
 of them ; but here it is quite a plea- 
 sure to see them all drawn up in order, 
 like so inanj/ soldie7's on a farade. 
 
 The Learned Maydr. 
 THE council chamber of a cer- 
 tain corporation iiaving occa^on to be 
 beautified, the mayor for the time be- 
 ijig, which was soon after the accession 
 of George I, undertook to superin- 
 tend the workmen employed in that 
 business. As is usual, an inscription 
 was put up, after the whole was com- 
 pleted, njentioning the year, &c. in 
 which the room was ornamented ; but 
 the wise mayor, perceiving the words 
 anno domini, immediately sent for and 
 abused the painter for committing 
 such a gross blunder, ?isa7ino domini ; 
 why, says he, don't you know that 
 Queen Anne is dead, and therefore it 
 should hcgeovi^io domi?ii.
 
 Interest ing Narratives, Enigmas , Epigrams, Poetry, Sjc. 377 
 
 A Sketch of the Life of the celebrated 
 William Sfiakspeare. 
 
 WILLIAM Shakspeare, the great 
 poet of nature, and the glory of the 
 British nation, was the son of John 
 Shakespenre, a considerable dealer 
 in wool, and was born at Stratford- 
 upon-Avon, in April 1564. At a 
 proper age he was put to a free school, 
 where he acquired the rudiments ot 
 grammar-learning. His father had 
 no design to make a scholar of him ; 
 on the contrary, he took him early 
 from school, and employed him in 
 his own business ; but he did not long 
 continue in it ; for at seventeen years 
 of age he married, and commenced 
 master of a family. In this domestic 
 obscurity he lived some time, 'till 
 falling into bad company, he was pre- 
 vailed on to steal deer from Sir Thos. 
 Lucy's park, near Stratford; for 
 which being prosecuted by that 
 gentleman, he made him the subject 
 of a ballad, which was so very severe, 
 that it heightened the prosecution 
 against him to that de|ree, that he 
 was obliged to shelter himself in 
 London. On his arrival, being driven 
 to the last necessity, he went to the 
 play-house door, and picked up a 
 little money by taking care of gentle- 
 men's horses who came to the play. 
 At length some of the players acci- 
 dently discoursing with him, were so 
 pleased with his conversation, that 
 they recommended him to the house, 
 where he was at Brst admitted in a 
 low station ; but his admirable wit, 
 and the natural turn of it to the stage, 
 soon distinguished him, if not as an 
 extraordinary actor, yet as an excel- 
 lent dramatic writer. Having by 
 practice an<i observation, acquainted 
 himself with the mechanical ceconomy 
 of the theatre, his native genius sup- 
 plied the rest : but the whole view cl 
 his tirst attempts at stage-poetry be- 
 ing to procure a subsistence, he di- 
 rected his endeavours solely to hit 
 
 the taste and humour ^hat then pre- 
 vailed amongst the meaner sort of 
 people, of whom the audience was 
 generally composed ; and, therefore, 
 his images of life were drawn from 
 those of thai rank. Thus did Shaks- 
 peare set out, without the advantage 
 ofeducatiou, the advice or assistance 
 of the learned, the patronage of the 
 better sort, or any acquaintance 
 among them. But when his perform- 
 ances had merited the protection of 
 his prince, and the encouragement of 
 (he court had succeeded that of the 
 town, the works of his riper years 
 were manifestly raised above the level 
 of his former productions. Queea 
 Elizabeth, who shewed Shakspeare 
 many marks of her favour, was so 
 pleased with the delightful character 
 of Falstaff, in the two parts of Henry 
 IV. that she commanded the author 
 to continue it one play more, and 
 to shew the knight in love ; which he 
 executed initimably in the Merry 
 Wives of Windsor. Among his other 
 patrons, the earl of Southampton is 
 particularly honoured by him in the 
 dedication of two poems, Venus and 
 Adonis, and Lucrece. In the begin- 
 ning of James the First's reign, he 
 was one of the principal managers at 
 the play-house, and continued in it 
 several years afterwards ; 'till having 
 acquired such a fortune as satisfied 
 his moderate wishes and views in life, 
 he quitted the stage, and all other 
 business, and passed the remainder 
 of his life, in an honourable ease, at 
 his native town of Stratford, where 
 he lived in a handsome house of his 
 own purchasing, to which he gave 
 the name of New-Place. He died 
 on the 23d oi April, l6l6, in the 
 33d year of his age, and was interred 
 in the chancel of the great church at 
 Stratford, where a handsome monu- 
 ment was erected to him. In 1740* 
 mother very noble one was raised to 
 his memory, at the public expense, 
 in Westminster-Abbey ; an ample 
 I 3 c
 
 S7S Literary Curiositlas^Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events^ 
 
 Contribution for this purpose, being 
 made upon exhibiting his tragedy of 
 Julius Caesar, at the theatre-royal in 
 Drury-lane, April 28, 1738. His 
 dramatic writings wei* first published 
 together in folio, l6'23, since which 
 they have had many editions, and 
 have been republished by ]\Ir. Rowe, 
 Air. Pope, Mr. Theobald, SirThomas 
 Uanmer, Mr.Warburtort, and Samuel 
 Johnson, L.L.D. 
 
 A Letter v^'ote hy our present 
 Queen to the Kin«^ of Prussia, when 
 he entered the Territories of her 
 Cousin^ the Duke of Mecklenburgh 
 Swerin. 
 
 MAY IT PLEASE YOUR MAJESTY, 
 
 I AM at a loss whether I shall con- 
 gratulate or cenilole with- you on your 
 late victory, smee the same success 
 that has covered you with laurels, has 
 overspread my country with desola- 
 tion. 
 
 I know. Sir, that it seems unbe- 
 coming my sex, io this age of vicious 
 refinement, to feel for one's country ; 
 to himent the horrors of war, or wish 
 for the return of peace. I know you 
 inay think it more properly my pro- 
 vince to study the art of pleasing, or 
 to turn my thoughts to subjects of a 
 more domestic nature ; but however 
 mibecoining it may be in me, I can- 
 not resist the dc«ire of interceding for 
 this unhappy people. 
 
 It was but a few years since this 
 territory wore the most pleasing ap- 
 pearance. The country was cultivated, 
 the peasant looked cheerful, and the 
 towns abounded with riches and festi- 
 vity: what an alteration at i)rfesent 
 from such a charming scene. I am 
 not expert at description, nor can my 
 fancy add any horror to the picture ; 
 but sure, even conquerors themselves 
 would weep at the hideous prospect 
 before me. The whole country, my 
 dear country! is one frightful waste J 
 presenting only objects to excite ter- 
 
 ror, pity, and tlespair. The bu«iness 
 of the husbandman and the shepherd 
 are quite discontinued ; the husband- 
 man and the shi^pherd are become 
 soldiers themselves, and help to ravage 
 the soil they formerly occupied. The 
 towns are inhabited only by old men, 
 women, and children: perhaps here 
 and there a warrior, by wounds, or 
 loss of limbs, rendered unfit for ser- 
 vice, is left at his door, his little chil- 
 dren hang round bim, ask an history 
 »f every wound, and grow themselves 
 soldiers before they find strength for 
 the field. But this was nothing, did 
 we not feel tie alternate insolence of 
 either army, as it happens to advance 
 or retreat. It is impossible to express 
 the confusion : even those who call 
 themselves our friends, even those 
 from whom we might expect redress, 
 oppress us with new calamities. To 
 you, even children and women may 
 complain, whose humanity stoops to 
 the meanest petition, and whose power 
 is capable of repressing the greatest 
 hijustice. 
 
 I am. Sir, &c. 
 
 Spartan Heroines. 
 
 THE Spartans, on the night be- 
 fore Pyrrhus was to make his assault, 
 had determined in council to send all 
 I heir women to Crete. When the 
 women were informed of this, they 
 unanimously opposed the design ; and 
 Archidamia, a lady of one of the be^t 
 families in Sparta, entered the senate, 
 with, a drawn sword in her hand, de- 
 manding of tiiem, in the nan)e of her 
 country-women, what could ntake 
 them entertain so mean au opinion of 
 their wives and daujjhters, as to ima- 
 gine they were enough in love with life 
 to endure to survive the loss of Sparta. 
 The senate was equally pleased anil 
 surprised with this smart harangue. 
 They immediately revoked their order 
 for sending away the women ; and 
 then resolved to draw a trench in a 
 line opposite to their enemy's camp,
 
 Interesting Narratri'es, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, SfC. 379 
 
 and to sink waggon-wijee!":, in order 
 to obstruct the passage of Pyrrhus's 
 elephants. They had no sooner began 
 this work, tijan ;ill the women and 
 maids came to them in a body, lieaded 
 by leaders of their own sex. They en- 
 treat^ i the yuung fel'ows, who were to 
 engage the next day, to go home and 
 repose themselves, that they might be 
 fit foi action in the morning; and then 
 joiiiin^ the elder sort of men, they as- 
 sisted tiiem in making ill" irench. They 
 tojk upon themselves a full third part 
 of it, which they engaged to finish be- 
 fore it was day; and working all night, 
 some with their petticoats tucked up, 
 and others oidy in their shifts, they 
 performed what they had promis'.d. 
 The trench was finished that night, 
 though Phylareus assures us it was six 
 cubits in breadth, f.'Ur in depth, and 
 eight hundred feet long. As soon as 
 day appeared, Pyrrhus, with an army 
 of '20,000 foot, 20C0 hoise, and 24 
 elephants came on to (he attack Upon 
 this the Spartan women armed the 
 youths with their own hands, com- 
 mitted the trench to their charge, and 
 conjured them to defend it to the last 
 extremety ; and represented to them, 
 in the most lively terms, how glorious 
 it must be either to conquer in tiie view 
 of the whole country, or to fall as be- 
 came Sp^irtans, and die iu the arms of 
 their wives and mothers. The Lace- 
 demonians thus encouraged, defended 
 themselves with a valour and resolution 
 scarce to be conceived. Phyllias and 
 Acrotatus signalized themselves in such 
 a manner, as has justly rendered their 
 names immortal. In a word, the ene- 
 my was every were repulsed ; the fight 
 only ended with the day. Cut Pyrrhus, 
 encouraged by a dream, led on his 
 Macedonians next morning to a second 
 assault; he himself in person made his 
 titmost efforts to force a passage 
 through the shields of the Spartans 
 ranged against him ; he fouu 1 this im- 
 practicable. At length, followed by 
 a few Macedonians on horseback, he 
 made a shift to pass the Spartan trench, i 
 
 in that part of it, where the waggons 
 had been planted to stop his elephants. 
 He now was in full career towards the 
 city, when his horse, shot with a Cre- 
 tan arrow, and, flouncing as he died, 
 threw liis rider. The Spartans en- 
 couraged at the sight of this accident, 
 ran boldly up, and fell opon the king 
 and his party with so much fury, as 
 obliged them to repass the Irench. 
 Pyrrhus, amazed at those prodigious 
 proofs of Lacedemonian courage, 
 which he had been an eye-witness of 
 for two days together, sounded a re- 
 treat, and drew off Iiis army. The 
 Spartan women never stirred frem the 
 field of battle during the engagement. 
 They were constantly at hand to sup- 
 ply the men ti ith arms; to give bread 
 and wine to such as were fainting, and 
 to take care of the wounded. The 
 Grecians in general thought the loss of 
 Sparta at this lime inevitable ; and 
 Pyrrhus, the greatest general of bis 
 age, imagined he was so sure of carry- 
 ing his point, that he would not suffer 
 his army to give the assault the same 
 evening he arrived, for fear they should 
 take the city by storm, and plunder it 
 in the night. He knew very well there 
 were but few soldiers iu it; that even 
 these were unprovided, by reason of 
 his unexpected approach; and lastly, 
 that Arius, their king, was not with 
 them, but gone into Crete. Thus was 
 the city of Sparta preserved, which 
 iould never have been done, had not 
 the ladies, as well as the men, been ■ 
 fonder of their country than their lives, 
 
 Appropriate Psalms. 
 A PARISH clerk in a provincial 
 town, when business is brisk in the way 
 of burials and christenings, in the ple- 
 nitude of his heart, gives out the fol- 
 lowing stave : 
 
 " My soul give praise imto the Lord." 
 but when trade is dead, and he has 
 been long without a funeral, he intro- 
 duces the lamentable strain, 
 "How long wilt thou forget me,LordT* . 
 3c 2
 
 380 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events, 
 
 Anecdote of bane Ingratitude. 
 
 A CAPTAIN of a slave ship from 
 Bristol, who on his arrival on the 
 coast of Africa, in furnishin,^ his 
 cargo of slave?, was struck with the 
 appearance of a beautiful young fe- 
 male slave he had purchased among 
 others, ordered her into the cabin, 
 and she became his mistress, and soon 
 proved in a stale of pregnancy. The 
 young African, thinking herself for 
 ever free from slavery, told her keep- 
 er all her heart, and made the follow- 
 ing discovery to him, viz. " That the 
 first opportunity which offered in the 
 course of the vo^'age, the slaves had 
 agreed to mutiny, and to murder the 
 captaia and his men, and to navigate 
 the ship back to Africa;" she urged 
 the captain to lose no time in taking 
 proper steps to prevent such an horrid 
 intention from being put into practice, 
 \vhich was accordingly done, and the 
 slaves carried safe to the West-Indies. 
 — The captain on his return to Bristol 
 told this story in company, and being 
 asked by a gentleman present, what 
 he did with or for, his faithful deliver- 
 er and friendly companion? replied, 
 (with that savage indifference and un- 
 natural cruelty peculiar to the gener- 
 ality of slave traders) " Why I sold 
 her, to be sure, for an extra-price, 
 on Gur arrival in the West-Indies ! !" 
 
 Appropriate Mottosfor the Carriages 
 of Upstarts. 
 
 A TAYLOR ; men and measures. 
 
 A slioemaker; sutor ultra crepidam 
 (the shoemaker beyond his last.) 
 
 A card-maker; niy cards have 
 turned up trumps. 
 
 A chandler ; i have not hid my can- 
 dle under a bushel. 
 
 A merchant ; I have exchanged for 
 the better. 
 
 A gambler; I have got the trick. 
 
 A bankrupt ; vix ea nostra voco (I 
 can scarce call these my own ) 
 
 A grocer ; I have got a plum. 
 
 A coal-merchant ; I have touciitd 
 the coie. 
 
 A plumber ; I have turned my lead 
 into gold, 
 
 A coachmaker; the wheel of for- 
 tune. 
 
 A lawyer; causes produce eftVcts. 
 
 An undertaker ; mor est milii lu- 
 crum (death is to me great gain.) 
 
 A (listillcr ; my spirits rise. 
 
 An auctioneer; by knocking down, 
 I am up. 
 
 A methodist preacher ; I have not 
 sought the I ord in vain. 
 
 A curate ; curavi pro viiafutura (I 
 have been a curate in prospect of a 
 living.) 
 
 A rector; spero mellora (I hope for 
 proferment.) 
 
 A dean ; nolo episcopari (I won't 
 be a bishop ) 
 
 A bishop; consummatum est (I have 
 got it.) 
 
 The Artful Misers. 
 
 TWO old misers, each of them 
 worth a plum, had a female relation 
 worth fourscore thousand pounds; she 
 was turned of sixty, and unmarried. 
 Happening to fall in with a barber's 
 apprentice, who was worth nothing, 
 she gave him great encouragement. 
 Upon this, the two brothers contrived 
 a scheme to break off the match. 
 They both of them waited upon her, 
 and the elder of them addressed her 
 in the following manner: "Cousin 
 Lucretia, we are credibly informed 
 that you intend to marry Tom Razor. 
 We are amazed that you can think of 
 degrading yourself by such a match. 
 You may act as you please, but mark 
 the consequence : — My brother and I 
 are both old ; we have no thoughts of 
 marrying, and intend to make you 
 our heir; but if you take this rash 
 step, we shall not leave you a single 
 shilling — This speech had the desired 
 effect: she discarded the barber, died 
 soon afterwards, and left her whole 
 fortune betwetn the brothy?.
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas^ Epigrams, Poetry, ^-c. 381 
 
 j4n Account of an Engas^ement, be- 
 tween a Sailor and a Sfiailc. 
 
 SOME sailors having (iiseir.bailsed 
 the last part of their lading, which 
 was coals ; those who had been em- 
 ployed in that dirty work, veuiured 
 into the sea to wash themselves, but 
 had not been long there, before a per- 
 son on board observed a large shark 
 making towards theui, and gave them 
 notice of their danger; upon which 
 they swam back, and all but one 
 readied the boat; and him the shark 
 overtook almost vvitbi'i reach of the 
 oars, and griping him by the small of 
 Jhe back, his devouring jaws S0')ii en* 
 him asunder, and as soon as he swal- 
 lowed the lower part of his body, th' 
 remaining, part of his body was taken 
 up, arul carried on board, w ; «re his 
 comrade was. The friendship 0: twee n 
 him and the deceased, had \v g h er. 
 distinguished by a reciprocal dischargf 
 of all such endearing offices as implied 
 a union and sympathy of souls. On I" 
 his seeing the severed trunk of his 
 friend, he was filled with horror and 
 emotion, too great to be expressed by 
 words. During this affecting scene, 
 the insatiable shark was observed tra- 
 versing the bloody surface, searching 
 after the remainder of his prey. The 
 rest of the crew thought themselves 
 happy in being on board ; he alone 
 was uut»appy, at his not being wiUiin 
 reach of the destroyer. Fired at the 
 sight, and vowing that he would make 
 the devourer disgorge, or be swallowed 
 himself, he plunged into the deep, 
 armed with a sharp pointed knife. 
 The shark no sooner saw him, but he 
 made furiously towards him ; both 
 equally eager, the one for his prey, 
 the other for revenge. The moment 
 the shark opened his rapacious jaws, 
 his adversary dexterously divinir and 
 grasping him with his left hand, some- 
 what below the upper fins, success- 
 fully eroproyed his knife in his right 
 hand, giving him repeated stabs in the 
 belly. The enraged shark, after many 
 
 unavailing efforts, finding himself over- 
 matched in his own element, endea- 
 voured to disengage himself, some- 
 times plunging tD the bottom, then 
 mad with pain, rearing his uncouth 
 form above the foaming waves, stained 
 with his own streaming blood. The 
 shark, much weakened by the loss of 
 blood, made towards the shore, and 
 with him his conqueror, who, flushed 
 with an assurance of victory, pu.-^hed 
 his foe with redoubled ardour, aad by 
 the help of an ebbing tide, dragged 
 him on shore, ripped up his bowels, 
 and united, aud bnried the severed 
 body of his friend in one grave. 
 
 This extraordinary stoiy was re- 
 lated by a gentleman of great cre- 
 dit, who was ready to confirm the 
 truth by oath — This affair happened 
 the latter end of Queen Anne's wars; 
 ihe ship was the Yoik-me*chani, John 
 Beams, commander. 
 
 Anecdote of the Temple Clock. 
 
 SO INI E years ago, a new clock was 
 made to be placed \n the temple-hall ; 
 when finished, the clock-maker was 
 desired to wait on the bench-^rs of the 
 temple, who would thi'ikot a suitable 
 motto to be put under the clock. He 
 applied several times, but without 
 ;:etting the desired information, as 
 thcv had rot determined on the in- 
 ,ciiptioii. Continuing to importune 
 ihem, he at last came when the old 
 benchers were met at the temple-hall, 
 and had just sat down to dinner, 
 1 he workman again requested to be 
 iiilovmed of the motto ; one of the 
 l)e<ichers, who thought the application 
 ill-aimed, and who was fonder of eat- 
 ing and drinking than inventing origi- 
 nal raottos, testily replied, " Go about 
 your business." The mechanic taking 
 this as an answer to his question, 
 went home and inserted at the bottom 
 of the clock, " Go about your busi- 
 ness," and placed it on the temple- 
 hall, to the great surprise of the
 
 382 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Eventst, 
 
 bencheis, who upon considering the 
 circumstance, a<;reed tiiat accidfiil 
 had produced a better mott'> than an} 
 ihey could think uf, and ever since 
 the temple-clock has continued to 
 remiiui the law)-«-rs and the public to 
 ro about their business. 
 
 The Wounded Squire. 
 
 A CERTAIN '.-qnire, no matter who, 
 
 •"vfilquive John o' Slylef, or Noakes will Jo, 
 
 Ey soiiie mischance bad scratch'd his shin, 
 
 €r prick'd his flnfi;ei* with a pin ; 
 
 We'll say — a p'articleof steel 
 
 Was found adlicrins to liis heel. 
 
 Away the bustling servants go 
 
 To fetch the famous Dr. Doe ; 
 
 The doctor comes, with solemn face, 
 
 Adapted to the dreadful case ; 
 
 With nicest tonch explores the wound ; 
 
 Examines if the hones are sound ; 
 
 Dilates his eyelids — drops his chiu — 
 
 To shew the p-eal alarm he's in ; 
 
 Then shaken his head, and seems to say— 
 
 '• Bnt little hopes,"- yon know their way. 
 
 The patient now retires to bed, 
 
 But first is vomited and bled ; 
 
 The doctor wishes he may rest. 
 
 And kindly bids him hope Ihe besi ; 
 
 Declares, if nothinj; new comes on — 
 
 No hemorrhage, or carions hone,' 
 
 Bad fever, fungons incarnation, 
 
 Or periostal inflammation, 
 
 In four-and-twenty days, or less, 
 
 A suppuration must take place, 
 
 Theiaceratad mnscles heal. 
 
 His strength return, and all do well. 
 
 Prescribes the purpte dranght at ten ; 
 
 The same, with pills, at twelve again; 
 
 The purge at three ; if that should gripe, 
 
 At four, or thereabouts, the pipe; 
 
 The cordial drops he'd have him take 
 
 At six, or sooner, if awake; 
 
 Thefebrignge 'twist eight and nine; 
 
 He'll feel his pulse at noon, and dine; 
 
 The servant mnst preserve his water ; 
 
 Sincerely hopes to find him better; 
 
 Tf otherwise, 'tis not too late 
 
 To scarify, and salivate; 
 
 He thinks there can be no mistake here, 
 
 At worst, bJssons .in undertaker. 
 
 Then lakes hi* leave, or makes a bow, 
 
 Goes down, and thus holds forth below. 
 
 " I own, 'tis hard at first to tell ; 
 
 But greatly doubt his doing well; 
 
 That stCi^l lias made most hon id work ; 
 
 By G-d 'twas longer than a fork ; 
 
 I'm very loth to give him over, 
 
 But apprehend he can't recover ; 
 
 He ^eems much worse since first T came ; 
 
 Aflil wuunds are wounds, and* v^ill inflame; 
 
 Besides- the place looks black, like dirt. 
 
 As if the pedal ner- es were hurt ; 
 
 If so, 'tis fifty pounds to five 
 
 He never leaves his room alive ; 
 
 I've known a limb took thus at night, 
 
 And mrr*);y before 'twas light ; 
 
 And shauld a gangrene seize the part, 
 
 Tht: cure will far exceed my art ; 
 
 Do wha* I will, 'tis sure to spread, 
 
 Acd soon mnst reach from heels to head ; 
 
 Then all must know, as well as I, 
 
 The sad event — the 'squire must die. 
 
 For tho' sometimes, a wretch that begs 
 
 Pursues his trade sjim arm* or legs ; 
 
 l.ats, swears, getstipsey, crawls about, 
 
 And many other things without ; 
 
 Yet, when the rest is likewise gone, 
 
 The mendicant's career is done. 
 
 Now, since 'tis plain 'Squire Noakes can, 
 
 live, 
 The best advice my skill can give, 
 'Tis e'en to knock him on the sconce, 
 Or fairly cut his throat at once. 
 For each physician, if he wise is, 
 Knows each disease mnst have a crisis; 
 The sooner we can that obtain. 
 The sooner patient's out of pain." 
 
 A Point for a Poet. 
 WHEN Pope was one evenini^ at 
 Burton's cofiee-house, and uilrh Swift, 
 Arbiithnof, &c. poring over a manu- 
 script of the Greek Aristophanes, they 
 found one stntence which they could 
 not conjprehend. As tliey talked 
 pretty h)ud, a young officer who stood 
 by the tire heard their conference, 
 and begged permission to look at the 
 passage, "Oh," says Fope sarcasti- 
 cally, " by all means, pray let the 
 vonng gentlenjan look at it." Upon 
 which the officer took up the book, 
 and considering awhile, said there 
 wanted only a note of interrogatitm 
 to make the whole intelligible. " And 
 pray, master," says Pope, (piqued 
 perhaps at being outdone by a red 
 eoal) " What is a note of interroga- 
 tion'" — "A note of interrogation," 
 replied the youth, with a look of the 
 utmost contempt, " is a little crooked 
 thing that asks questions." 
 
 In Ely Church- Yard. 
 HERE I lie without the church door, 
 The church js fil!'d,and will hold no moise; 
 Here I lie, though less I pay, 
 And yet I li2 as well as they.
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Eniymas^ Epigrams, Poetry^ S^c. 383 
 
 An Account of the Escape' of King 
 Charles II. from Worcester, after 
 bein^ conquered by Cromwell, who 
 offered a Thousand Pounds for his 
 Head. 
 
 THE king, the better to effect his 
 escape, had his hair cut off, ami 
 worked some days disguised as a pea- 
 sant at wood-cutting. He next made 
 an attempt to retire into Wales, mider 
 the conduct of one Pendrel), a poor 
 but faithful companion in iiis distress; 
 but in this attempt he was disappointed, 
 every pass being guarded to prevent 
 his escape. Being obliged to return, 
 he met one Colonel Careless, who, 
 like himself, had escaped the carnage 
 at Worcester, and it was in his com- 
 pany, that he was obliged to climb a 
 spreading oak, among the thick bran- 
 ches of which tln^y passed the day to- 
 gether, while the soldiers of the enemy 
 went underneath in pursuit of him. 
 From thence he passed, with imminent 
 danger, feeling all the vicissitudes of 
 limine, fatigue, and pain, to the house 
 of one Mr. Lane, a worthy subject 
 of his, in Statlbrdshire ; here he de- 
 liberated about the means of escaping 
 to France ; and they agreed tiiat he 
 should ride before that geutlemari's 
 daughter, on a visit to one Mrs. Kor- 
 ton, who lived in the neighbourhood 
 of Bristol. During this journey, he 
 every day met people wlio.se persons 
 he knew; and once passed through a 
 whole regiment of the parliament ar- 
 my. When they arrived at the house 
 of Mrs. Horton, the first person they 
 saw was one of the king's own chap- 
 lain?, sitting at the door, amusing him- 
 self with seciijg people j)!ay at the 
 bowls. The kins, after having taken 
 proper care of his htuse Im the stable, 
 was shewn into an a[>.;rtinent which 
 Mrs. Lane had pruvi.led for him, un- 
 der pretence of indisposition. — The 
 butler being sent to him ui.'h some re- 
 freshment, no sooner beiield his covn- 
 tenance, which was now very pale with 
 anxiety and fatigue, than' he recol- 
 
 lected the visage of his king and mas- 
 ter, and falling upon his knees, while 
 the tears streamed down his cheeks, 
 he cried out, " I atn glad !o see sowr 
 " majesty." The king enjoined hiiii to 
 secrecy, and the honest servant punc- 
 tually kept his word. Having staid 
 some days in this place, he repaired 
 !o the house cf Colonel Wyndham, 
 where he was cordially received, that 
 genileman's fitnjily having ever hetn 
 noted for loyalty. Pursuing his route 
 to the sea-side, he had once more a 
 very providential escape from the little 
 inn at Charniouth, where he lodged : 
 It happened to be a solemn fast, and 
 a fanatical wetiver, who had fought in 
 the parliament army, was preachiii" 
 against tlie king in a chapel fronting 
 the house ; Charles was actually one 
 of the audience. A fiirrier of the 
 same principlee, who had been ex- 
 amining the horses belonging to tiie 
 passengers, came to assure the preach- 
 er, that he knew by the fashion of the 
 shoes, that one of the striingeis' horses 
 came from the north: — The preacher 
 instantly affirmed, that this boise cor.ld 
 belong to no other than Charles Stuart, 
 aud went immediately witli a constable 
 to the house; but the king in the mean 
 time found means to escaj)e. Thus 
 at length, after inexpressible hardships, 
 and having experienceii the fidelity of 
 forty diirerent i^ersons of all ranks, 
 who iiad pov\er to betray him, he em- 
 barked at Briglifhelnii.tead, and landed 
 safely in Normandy, after having been 
 concealed no less {[vxii two and forty 
 days in England. 
 
 The Decision. 
 
 A GENTLEWOMAN who had 
 
 two gallants, growing big with child, 
 :he question was put. who should be 
 the father? when o.ie of them, 'vho 
 'uul a wooden leg, offered to decide 
 tthns; if the child comes into' the 
 world with a wooden leg, I will f^.ther 
 it ; \i not, it shall be your's.
 
 38 4 Uferarij Curiosities, Epitaphs, IVondcrful Events^ 
 
 Bon Mot, 
 
 BARON B , a celebrated 
 
 gambler, well-known by the name of 
 tiio Ipft-han'ted b<ii<Mi, being detected 
 some years aiio at Bath, secreiing a 
 card, the company in the warmth o'' 
 their resenimeril, threw liim tuit ot 
 the window ot a one-pnir-of -stairs-* 
 room, where they had been playinn;. 
 The baron mcoung Foote some time 
 jifrer, was ifiudly complaining of this 
 usa<);e, and asked what he should do. 
 " Do," says the wit, why it is a plain 
 case, never play so high again as long 
 ait you live." 
 
 Epitaph in St. Peter^s, Canterbury, 
 
 In Memory of 
 
 THE SNELLINGS, 
 
 Man and fVife 
 
 In this cold bed, here consummated are 
 Ttie secoiui nuptials of a happy pair, 
 Whom envious Death once parted, but in 
 
 vain, 
 For now himself had made them one again, 
 Here wedded in the grave, and, 'tisbnt jnst; 
 That they that wereoHe^e-sfe, should be one 
 
 dust. 
 
 The Justice puzzled. 
 
 SOME time since, two persons in 
 Cumberland, went with an artist, be- 
 fore a justice, at Penrith, with a very 
 grievous complaint against the latter, 
 which was, as they said, for keeping 
 the commandments. This was so un- 
 common a case, the justice requested 
 an explanation. The two men said, 
 they were churchwardens, and as 
 their church had been lately rebuilt, 
 they wanted the commandments 
 painted anew, and had given them to 
 this man to be done. To induce him 
 to do them well, they had paid half 
 the money agreed for in hand, and 
 the balance was to be paid when he 
 had finished the job ; but they had 
 called on him time after time for two 
 or three years past, but for all they 
 could say or do, he would keep the 
 commandments. 
 
 A Cop:; of Verses on Mr. DAY, 
 JVUv from his Landlord ran away. 
 
 HERE Dn?/ and A'l^/ii con?pir'd a snddea 
 
 flis'it, 
 For Dinj, they say, is run away by Night. 
 Day's iiri"! and s:oi!e — wh y,Iandlord,wljere's 
 
 your renJ ? 
 Did yoti not see that Day was almost spent' 
 Day pawn'd and sold, and put off what he 
 
 might ; 
 Tho' it be ne'er so dark, Day will be light. 
 You had ( ne Day a tenant, and wou'd faiu 
 Youreyes could see tbniDay but once again. 
 No, landlord, no: now you may truly say, 
 {\nd to your cost too) you have lost theDay. 
 Day is departed in a mist, I fear, 
 For Day is broke, and yet does not appear 
 From time to time he promis'd still to pay : 
 You should have rose before the breati of 
 
 Day ; 
 But if you had, you'd have got nothing by't. 
 For Day was cnnning, and broke over 
 
 Night. 
 Day, like a candle, is gone out, but where, 
 None knows, unless to t'other hemisphere. 
 Then to the tavern let as haste away — 
 Come cheer up — hang't — 'tis but a broken 
 
 Day, 
 And he that trusted Day for any sum, 
 Will hare his money if that Day will come. 
 
 Epitaph in Fool's'Cray, Kent: 
 
 THE 18th August I was at Foot's-.Cray, 
 To see for an epitaph, I can truly say; 
 But, as I found none, I went merrily on^ 
 And to St. Mary Cray I am certainly gone' 
 
 Epitaph on Dr. Benjamin Franklin. 
 
 THE Body of 
 
 Benjamin Franklin, printer, 
 
 Like the cover of an old book, 
 
 Its contents worn out, 
 Slript of its lettering and gilding, 
 
 Lies here — food for the worms. 
 
 Yet, the work shall not be lost. 
 
 For it shall (as he believed) appear once more 
 
 In a new and beautiful «ditioo. 
 
 Corrected and revised 
 
 By the Author. 
 
 Epitaph on Mr. Mites. 
 
 THIS tombstone is a Milestone — Hah ' 
 
 how so? 
 Because beneath lies Miles — wbo's Miles 
 
 below. 
 A little man be was, a dwarf in size, 
 But now stretch'd out, at least Miles long 
 
 he lies; 
 His grave, tbo' small, contains a space so 
 
 wide, 
 'Tbas Miles in length, and Miles in breadth 
 
 and Miles in room beside.
 
 Interest In (/ Na/'ratu^es, Eniijmas, Fpif^rams^ Poetry, ^c. 385 
 
 Description of ]\loimt Vtsiaius. 
 
 MOUNT W'siiviiis is situated at 
 the distance of five Italian n;i!es from 
 the city of Naples, and is justly ac- 
 counted one of the most dreadful 
 voicanos, or burning mountains, in 
 the world. Its declivity towards the sea 
 is richly clothed with vines and fruit- 
 trees ; the circumambient air is clear 
 and salubrious, and the neighbouring 
 plain affords a most delightful pros- 
 pect : hut the ascent to the summit is 
 painfully tedious ; and after walking 
 two miles over a kind of burnt earth 
 mised with calcined stones and cin- 
 ders, the traveller arrives at a naked 
 plain, from several parts of which 
 issues a sulphurous smoke ; and in 
 the centre of it rises another hill, 
 ihaped like a sugar-loaf, and of more 
 difficidt access than the former. 
 
 At the summit of this hill is a vast 
 niQulh, or cavity, about four huudred 
 yards in diameter at tiie top, but 
 shelving down on all sides like a fun- 
 nel ; whence proceed a continual 
 smoke, and sometimes those astonish- 
 ing eruptions which till the neigh 
 liouriug villages with consternaJion, 
 Each time it darts forth its flames, 
 and pours out its liquid matter, the 
 exterior form of the mountain, as 
 well as its height, receives consider- 
 able alterations. 
 
 In antient history we find accounts 
 of the devastations occasioned by this 
 volcano; and in latter ages we meet 
 with instances of its raging with ex- 
 traordinary fury. In the year 1694, 
 there was a violent eruption; during 
 which, ashes and stones were thrown 
 to the distance of nearly thirty miles. 
 A prodigious quantity of melted min- 
 erals was likewise thrown out of the 
 mouth, and ran slowly down the sides 
 of the mountain ; insonmch that great 
 numbers of men were employed to 
 cut trenches and channels to receive 
 it, and preveut its spreading over the 
 plains below. 
 
 lu the summer of ^^Q6, there 
 happened another terrible eruption, 
 attended with such a bellowing of the~ 
 mountain, as far exceeded the report 
 of the largest artillery: and in the 
 year 1717, it was judged that the 
 flames and fiery stones, were shot 
 more than a thousand feet perpendicu- 
 larly above the sunjmit of tiie volcano. 
 In \719> ^n eruption ha[)pe"ned, 
 which has been particularly described 
 by Sir William Hamilton in the Philo- 
 sophical Transactions. This gentle- 
 man observed, that the lavas of Vesu- 
 vius constantly formed regular chan- 
 nels in the mountain. These channels 
 after small eruptions, were generally 
 from two to six feet wide, and about 
 eiglit in depth ; and were often hidden 
 from the sight by a quantity of scoria; 
 that had formed a kind of crust over 
 them. Sir William walked in some 
 of these subterraneous galleries which 
 appeared extremely curious; some 
 being remarkably smooth and even ou 
 the top, sides, and bottom; and 
 others incrusted with a kind of scoria?, 
 beautifidly ramified with salts, in the 
 form of icicles. 
 
 In the summer of 1794, another 
 dreadful eruption took place at \''esu-' 
 vius, which destroyed many of the 
 adjacent villages, and was attended 
 by many surprising phaenomena. The 
 "HUptioH was preceded by a powerful 
 shock of an earthquake, which ex- 
 tended over the whole of the Cam- 
 pagna Felice, and was plainly felt at 
 the distance of forty miles- 
 
 Although mount Vesuvius often 
 fills the neighbouring country with 
 terror; yet, as ie.w things in nature 
 are so absolutely noxious as not lo 
 produce some good, even this ragijtg 
 volcano, by its sulphurous and nitrous 
 manure, and the heat of its subterra- 
 neous fires, contributes to the uncom- 
 mon fertility of the country, and the 
 profusion of fruit, herbage, &c. with 
 which it is evtiry where covered. 
 3 D
 
 j86 Liter arij Cf/riosities, Epitaplis, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Those are observed to be the most 
 fertile spots which abound in sulphur, 
 gaitpctre, &c, and if such igneous 
 and inflammable substances were pent 
 up, their fermentation and ebullition 
 would be productive of the most cal- 
 amitous effects; whereas they find a 
 vent through these volcanos. 
 
 Experience shows that earthquakes, 
 after any continued eruptions of V^esu- 
 vius, are neither so frequent, nor 
 produce such fatal etfects, as at other 
 times. Hence the inhabitants are by 
 no means alarmed at this mountain's 
 vernal eiuj)tions, when they are not 
 violent; and the air is so far from 
 being rendered unwholesome by them, 
 that Barra, a village at the foot of 
 Vesuvius, near the sea, is remarkable 
 for its healthfulness. 
 
 The lava, or liquid matter that 
 runs from the mountain, on its cooling, 
 forms solid masses, surpassing in 
 hardness even marble ; and tables, 
 chimney-pieces, and even snuff-boxes, 
 are made of it. With this matter the 
 cities of Naples and Rome are paved, 
 as also a great part of the ancient 
 iioman highways. 
 
 Curious Correspondence. The follow- 
 ing is an exact Copy of a Letter, 
 dated in Ie;04,//om a poor Woman 
 in Scotland, to the Emperor Alex- 
 ander. 
 
 "UNTO the Most Excellant Alex- 
 ander Emprcre of thatGrat Dominion 
 of Russia, and the Teratorys the Unto 
 Belonging, &c. &. &. 
 
 "Your INIost Humble Servant Most 
 Humbly beges your Most Gratious 
 Pardon for my Boldness in aprotching 
 your Most Dreed Sovring for your 
 Cjementfy at this Time. 
 
 " My Sovring the Candour of this 
 Freedom is on account of your Sov- 
 rings Goodness in the Serving and 
 Inlargingof My Son, whose Name is 
 John Duncan, aged 26 years, who 
 was on a Bremce, who was prisoner 
 
 with Robert Spittle his Master Cap- 
 taen of the Han, Spittle of Alloa at 
 the time of the British Embargo in 
 your Sovring's Embargo in Russia, 
 who is the only Seport of me his 
 Mother, and Besaid I have no other 
 ficend for my Seport, and on the ac- 
 count of your Gratious Renevallence 
 Be Pleased to axcept of this smajl 
 present from your Ever Well wissher 
 whilst I have Breath. 
 
 " The small Present is three Pairs 
 of Stockings for Going on when Your 
 Sovring Gos out a Hunting I would a 
 have sfnt your Sovring silk Stockings 
 il that My Son Could Go in serch for 
 it, but the press being so hot at this 
 Time that he cannot go out for fear 
 of being pressed. 
 
 '* If your Sovrin will be pleased 
 to axcept of this, and favouer me with 
 an ansuer of this by the Bearer, and 
 lett me know what Famely of Children 
 your Sovring has, I will send Stockings 
 for them for the Winter before Winter 
 Comes on, as also what Sons and 
 what Daughters you may have. 
 
 " Most Dreed Sovring 1 am your 
 Most Obedt.& Humble Servant Till 
 Death, 
 
 " Elizeabeth Wilcox." 
 " St. Neunsons by Sterling, 
 April 2, 1804. 
 
 *' Please to Derect to Me to the 
 Care of Robert Raunce in St. Neun- 
 son's by Sterling." 
 
 The Church and Burning-Ground. 
 
 A CHURCH and burying-ground 
 has been lately advertised, where 
 the parties hope for the custom 
 of their friends, who ihey promise 
 to accommodate with " nice warm 
 vaults, in a very quiet situation, and 
 pleasant country." They also pro- 
 mise an entertainnjent to the friends 
 of the first corpse that shall be inter- 
 red there. To make the farce com- 
 plete, the deceased should be con- 
 ducted also to their new tenemcntf' 
 Willi a sprightly band of music \
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetnj, ^c. 387 
 
 Description of Bells in England. 
 
 THERE are 12 peals of twelve 
 bells in England; 7 in London and 5 
 in the country. 
 
 A peal of 13, at St. Savionr's-church, 
 
 Southwark, London, «enor is,.. 51|cvrt. 
 Ditto 12, Christ-Charch, Spital- 
 
 fielde, London, tenor is, 44 cwt. 
 
 Ditto 12, St Giles's church, Crip- 
 
 plegate, London, tenor is" ••- . 36 cwt. 
 Ditto \i, St Michael's church, 
 
 Cornhill, London, tenor is 40 cwt. 
 
 Ditto 12, at St. Martin's in the Fields 
 
 London, tenor is •• • ■ 34 c\yt. 
 
 Ditto 12, at St, Leonard's church, 
 
 Shoreditch, London, tenor is . . 30 cwt. 
 Ditto 12, at St. Bride's church, 
 
 Fleet->^treet, London, tenor is. . 28jC\Tt. 
 Ditto 12, at St. Peter Mancroft 
 
 church, Norwich, leaoris--*- 41 cwt. 
 Ditto 12, at St. Martin's church, 
 
 Birmingham, tenor is 36 cwt. 
 
 Ditto 12, at New St. Chad's church, 
 
 Shrewsbury, tenor is 34 cwt. 
 
 Ditto 12, at Great St. Mary's church 
 
 Cambridge, tenor is » '-' 30 cwt. 
 
 Ditto 12, at St John's church, Ci- 
 rencester, tenor is 28 jcwt. 
 
 And n GreatBiitain and Ireland there 
 are about 50 peals often bells, 380 
 peals of eight, 600 peals of six, 500 
 peals of five, besides upwards of 720 
 peals of four, three, and two. The 
 heaviest single bells in England, arc 
 at fhe following cities and towns : 
 
 Ton. Cw. 
 Oxford, the Mighty Tom, weighing 7 15 
 
 Exeter, the Great Tom, ditto 6 
 
 London, St. Paul's, the Tom Growler 6 
 Lincoln, the Great Tom f^- best bell) 4 14 
 Canterbury Cathedral, Clock Bell 3 10 
 
 eiocester College, Clock Bell 3 5 
 
 Beverley Minster, Clock Bell 3 10 
 
 These 7 great bells weigh together 32 14 
 The following table is the full ex- 
 tent of changes that can be produced 
 on each number of bells, viz. 
 
 Changes. 
 
 A peal of two bells produces 2 
 
 Three bells 6 
 
 Four bells 24 
 
 iFive bells ..•• 120 
 
 Six bells 720 
 
 a«ven bells 5,040 
 
 Kight bells 40,320 
 
 Nine bells 362,*«.'>0 
 
 Ten bells 3,628,800 
 
 Eleven bells 39,916,^00 
 
 Twelve b^lU 479,001,600 
 
 To ring the full compliment of 
 changes on twelve bells, keeping them 
 continually going, will take no less 
 time than forty-four years, at the 
 speed of about twenty-one changes 
 each minute, with a tenor bell 40 
 cwt. 
 
 Remarkable Instance of Industry 
 and Perseverance. 
 
 ELIZABETH Bell, who died at 
 Carlisle on Saturday the Sth of Octo- 
 ber, 1791, in thepist yeaj of her age, 
 was a servant in the time of the re- 
 bellion of 1715, and by great fru- 
 gality, in the course of a series of 
 years afterwards, had saved a small 
 sum of money, intended, no doubt, 
 for her sustenance, if she reached the 
 period " when service should in her 
 old limbs be lame." • But the best in- 
 tentions are sometimes frustrated by 
 unforeseen events. 
 
 It happened that the mistress, with 
 whom she lived the last twenty years 
 of her servitude, fell into want, and 
 dibd indebted to the subject of this 
 anecdote, for five years' service ; for 
 which she had nothing to leave her 
 but three helpless children ! — Eliza- 
 beth Bell, considering herself as heiress 
 to this property, (in the possession of 
 which she remained undisturbed by 
 any claim from the kindred of her de- 
 ceased mistress) kept the family to- 
 gether; and, prompted by the strong- 
 est incentive, humanity, took upon 
 her the duty of a parent. 
 
 With an industry which has never 
 been exceeded, though suffering the 
 infirntities of age, she brought up the 
 three children very decently, and put 
 the two boys to trades. They ill re- 
 paid her kindness. For several yeais 
 past, she had been so ill as not to be 
 able to walk; but, even in that situa- 
 tion, she sat upon the side of the bed, 
 and spun!— Ilcr feeble endeavours, 
 however, proved insutficient for the 
 maintenance of herself and her 
 3 D 2
 
 $33 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, JVonderfiil Events, 
 
 adopted charge ; the stock coiiected 
 bj yoiUlilui labour was, of jii'ccssily, 
 broken into ; it Wiis, snaielime since, 
 exhausted; and for tlie last six njonths, 
 she was supported by the parisij. 
 
 The last of iier foster-thiidren is a 
 gir!, who remaijied with her benefac- 
 tress nuti! death caused the .scpariitiou, 
 vihich no extieisiily of want and 
 wretcliedness had been powerful 
 enough to eti'ocf. The poor ^iri is a 
 great object of pity, beiag much af- 
 dieted with lits, which render her in- 
 capable of earning a subsistence by 
 labour. 
 
 Anecdote of the late Mr. Andrew 
 Mdlar, Bookseller in London. 
 
 TFIE performance known by the 
 fitlc of Burn's treatise on the office 
 of a justice of peace, was written by 
 ;v poor clerirynian in the nortii of 
 England. He came to London to sell 
 his njanuscript, and inquired of the 
 landlord of the inn where lie iodi'ed, 
 if he was acquainted with any book- 
 seller? the master of the house intro- 
 duced hiui to a person in tlie trade, 
 who, after keeping the manuscript fcr 
 examination ei;;ht days, at last offered 
 him twetjty pounds for it. After a 
 variety of disapjjointments of the 
 same kind, the author waited on Mr. 
 Millar, who was by this time risinjj 
 fast into fame and foiiune. He had 
 sufficient strenoih of mind to see that 
 " honesty is the best policy ;" and by 
 treating every writer with justice, and 
 often witij generosity, he acquired a 
 most opulent fortune. He had in his 
 employment, gentlemen in every dif- 
 ferent branch of learning, who were 
 to inform him of the merit of the 
 different books submitted to their in- 
 spection The manuscript in question 
 was transmitted to a Scotcfh student 
 in the temple, and Burn in'fhe interim 
 received a general invitation to Mr. 
 Millar's table. 
 In eight or ten days the manuscript 
 
 was returned to Mr, Miliar, with a 
 nnSe tiial it would be an excellent 
 b;u;^a:u at two hundred pounds. Next 
 day afier dinner, when llie ^iass had 
 begun to circulate, he asked Bursj 
 what was the lowest sum that he 
 would take? I'he poor man replie(!, 
 Ih-jt the highest ofHer wiiich he had re- 
 ceived was twenty pouiids, a sum t(i(> 
 suiail to dtfiay the expenses of his 
 jnuiney. " \\\\\ you accept two hun- 
 dred guineas?" said Mr. JMiilar — 
 "Two hundred j;uineas!" cried the 
 parson, ciapjiiui; his hands; " I am 
 extremely fortunate." — -The book went 
 through many inspressious, and An- 
 drew, of his <;wn good will, paid the 
 clergyman isn hundred pounds ad- 
 ditional fcir each of them. 
 
 As the author loved port. She book- 
 seller farther gave him a letter of cre- 
 dit, for the {turchase of a pipe per 
 annum during the rest of his life, in 
 any wine-cellar in London where he 
 thought })ropcr. 
 
 " After all this," added ISlr. Mil- 
 lar, in telling the story, " I have 
 lived to clear eleven tkouband pounds 
 by the bargain." 
 
 Anecdote of a Faithful Dog. 
 
 AUBRI DE MONDIDIER, hunt- 
 ing in the forest of Boudi, was mur- 
 dered and buried under a tree. He 
 was always attended by a favourite 
 dog, attached to him in a very singu- 
 lar manner. This dog would not quit 
 his master's grave for several days, 
 until at length compelled by hunger, 
 he went to the house of an intimate 
 friend of the unfortunate Aubri's at 
 Paris, and by his melancholy howl- 
 ing, seemed desirous of expressing 
 the loss they had both sustained. He 
 repeated bis cries, ran to the door, 
 then looked back to see if any per- 
 son followed him, returned to his 
 master's friend, pulled him by the 
 sleeve, and with dumb eloquence en- 
 treated hiiu to go with him. The
 
 Interesting Narrcttires, Eni(/)nas, Epigrams^ Poetry, S^c. o^Q 
 
 sitJguhirily of all the actions of tlic 
 (ioi;; his coiiiinji tliere wiflinut lli^■ 
 nias'cr, whose faithful companion lit' 
 IukI a!\va>5 been ; llie sudden disaj)- 
 pearance ot' his master, &:c. induced 
 the couipany to follow the doi^, who 
 conducted thtni to the fatal tree, 
 wliere lie renewed his howl, h>ciatch 
 ingtheearlh with his feet, poinlini; 
 out as well as he coidd, the spot the\ 
 should search. Accor<lingIy, upon 
 diggini:, the body of tiic unhaj!p\ 
 Aubri was found. 
 
 Some time after, the dog met the 
 assassin, tiie Chevalier Macaire, when, 
 instantly seizing him by the throat, ii 
 was with great difficully that he was 
 compelled to quit his prey. Vvhen- 
 ever he saw him afterwards, he pur- 
 sued and attacked him with equal fu- 
 ry. Such obstinate virulence in the 
 dog, exiiibited only to JNlacaire, ap- 
 peared very extraordinary to those 
 who recollected tiie dog's fondnt ss 
 for his master ; and at the same tinie, 
 several instances wherein Macaire had 
 manifested his envy and hatred to 
 Aubri de ]\]ondidier, with other ad- 
 ditional circumstances, increased sus- 
 picion, which at length was communi- 
 cated to the royal ear. The king sent 
 for the dog; he appeared extremely 
 gentle, until perceiving Macaire in 
 the midst of twenty nobles, he ran 
 instantly towards him growling, and 
 flew at him as usual. 
 
 lu those times, when no positive 
 preof of a crime could be procured, 
 an order nas issued for a combat be- 
 tween the accuser and the accused. 
 This was denominated the judgment 
 of God, from a persuasion that hea- 
 ven would sooner work a miracle, 
 than suffer innocence to perish with 
 infamy. The king, struck with such 
 a collection of circumstantial evidence 
 against Macaire, resolved to refer the 
 decision to the chance of war, and 
 commanded a combat between the 
 chevalier and the dog. The lists were 
 appointed in the Isle of Notre Dame, 
 
 tlien an uuinclosed place. Macaire's 
 weapon was a larj^e cudjjel; tlu' dog 
 had an empty cask allowed for his re- 
 frta!, in order to recover hre;'lh. The 
 c'unbafanls beinir readv, li.e dog no 
 :Ooner found ifiuiseif at libeity, than 
 he ran round his adversary, avoiding 
 his blows, and menacing him on every 
 iiiit; uiiti! in's stren^ih was exhausted ; 
 \\wn, si>riiii;iiig forward, he griped 
 Maciiire by the throat, and threw him 
 on the gruund, where he confessed 
 his crime before the king, and after- 
 wards suffered death for the muider 
 of the dog's master. This circum- 
 ilance is recorded by the hand of a 
 painter in the caslle of Monfarsis, and 
 has the confirmation of Scaliger and 
 Fathor Montfaucon. Oliver de la 
 Marche says, this faithful animal 
 lived in the reign of Louis \TlIth. 
 
 Epigram. 
 
 SAYS my Loi-d to Sam Scribble, " All 
 
 poels are poor," 
 " You tell me," quoth Sam, " what I well 
 
 knew before ; 
 " Yet in all oi/r payments we're honest and 
 
 "just too:" 
 " Well you may," quoth my Lord, "because 
 
 " no one will trust you." 
 
 Edward VI, 
 
 EDWARD VI. is celebrated by 
 historians for the beauty of his person, 
 the sweetness of his disposition, and 
 the extent of his knowledge. By the 
 time he had attained his sixteenth 
 year, he understood the Greek, Latin, 
 French, Italian, and Spanish lan- 
 guages; he was versed in the sciences 
 of logic, music, and natural philoso- 
 phy, and master of all theological 
 disputes; insomuch, that the famous 
 Garden, on his return from Scotland, 
 visiting the English court, was aston- 
 ished at the progress he had made in 
 learning; and afterward extolled him 
 in his works as a prodigy of nature. 
 
 Notwithstanding these encomiums, 
 be seems to have had an ingredient of
 
 590 Literanj Curiosities, Epitap//.<;, Wonderful Ersnts, 
 
 bigotry in his disposition, tliatwouU'U 
 have rendered him very troublesome 
 to those of tender consciences, who 
 ini^ht have happened to d:iT<^r with 
 hini in reii^^ious principles; sior can 
 ue reconcile either to his boiistec. 
 humvniity or penetration his consent 
 ing to the death of his uncle, who had 
 served him faithfully; uuless we sup- 
 pose lie wanted resolution to withstand 
 the importunities of his minister:!, and 
 was delicient in that vigour ot mind, 
 which often exists independent of 
 learning: and culture. 
 
 Recife for a Covntnj Ball. 
 
 TAKE two or three carriages stuck in a 
 
 lane, 
 Two or tlncn parties drencli'd in ibe rain, 
 Add smirkcrs and rompers two or three 
 
 coveys, 
 Two or three aldermen's wives and their 
 
 loveys ; 
 Two cr Ihrte farmers and auctioueerp 
 
 haughiy, 
 Two or three aunts between fiity and 
 
 forty ; 
 Two or three misses losing their lockets, 
 Two or three liucks wit\ their hands in 
 
 their pockets ; 
 Two or three card-tables, two or three 
 
 sliarpers, 
 Two or three fiddlers, two or three harpers; 
 Two or three quarrels, two or three faint- 
 
 iugs, 
 In a long naked ball-room, with two or 
 
 three paintings; 
 Join two or three bumpkins who never 
 
 were poljsh'd, 
 Two or three fashions long since abolish'd; 
 Twoor three jokes from yesterday's papers, 
 Two or three curtseys and dancing-school 
 
 capers ; 
 Two or three hoppings without any fiddle, 
 Two or three waltzes broke off in ihe mid- 
 dle; 
 Plenty of tea sipped between whiles, 
 Two dozen nods and three dozen smiles; 
 One pretty girl and one pretty man. 
 To leaven the lump, you may liud if you 
 
 can. 
 Stir them abont with a great deal of glee, 
 Till the town-hall clock has struck two or 
 
 three. 
 And with two or three candles stuck on the 
 
 wall, 
 You can't fail, if you mix these ingredients 
 
 all, 
 Of a good wholesome noisy country ball. 
 
 Mrs. Siddops's Fareirell Addrets. Spoken 
 
 at the Bath Theatre. 
 HAVE I not raised some expectation here? 
 Wrote by herself! — What! An(hores9 and 
 
 pky'r ? 
 TrB3, we have heard her, (thus I guess 
 
 you'd say) 
 With decency recite another's lay ; 
 'jiif never heard, nornever could wedream, 
 !ifr-elf had sipp'd the Heliconican stream. 
 Perhaps you farther said, (excuse me, pray, 
 For thus'supposingall that you might say) 
 What will she treat of in this same address? 
 Is it to shew her learning? Can you guess? 
 Here let me answer ; No : far different 
 
 views 
 Possess'd my soul, and fir'd my virgin 
 
 muse ! 
 'Twas honest gratitude; at whose request, 
 Shame be the heart that will act do it's 
 
 best! 
 The time draws near, when I must bid 
 
 adieu 
 To this delightful spot ; nay, e'en to you ! 
 [To the Audience. 
 To you, whose fost'ring kindness rear'd my 
 
 name, 
 O'erlook'd my faults, but magnify'd my 
 
 fame. 
 How shall I bear the parting ? Well I 
 
 know, 
 Anticipation, here, is daily woe. 
 Oh, should kind fortune, where I next am 
 
 thrown, 
 Bestow but half the candour you have 
 
 shewn ; 
 Envy o'ercome, will hurl her pointless dart, 
 And critic gall be shed — without it's smart: 
 The numerous doubts and fears I entertain. 
 Be idle all ; as all possess'd in vain I 
 
 But to my promise If I thus am bless'd; 
 
 In friendships link'd; beyond my worth 
 
 caress'd ; 
 Sine? I'm secure in my employer's aid, 
 Who meets my wishes ere they scarce are 
 
 made; 
 Why do you quit, (you'll say) such certain 
 
 gain. 
 To trust caprice, and it's vexations train ; 
 What can you compensate for the risques 
 
 you rnn, 
 And what your reasons? Surely you have 
 
 none! 
 To argue here would be yourtime's abuse — 
 My word I keep, my reasons 1 produce : 
 
 [Here her three Children ivcre discovered. 
 These are my moles that heave me from 
 
 your side, 
 Where! was rooted, where I could have 
 
 dy'd— 
 Stand forth, ye elves, and plead >our mo- 
 ther's cause; 
 Ye little magnets, whose strong inflaence 
 draws
 
 InteresHrifj Narratives, Emgmas, Epigrams, Voetry^ S^c, 39 1 
 
 Me from a point where every gentle breeze 
 Wafted my bark lo happiness and ease ; 
 Sends me adveal'rous on a larger main, 
 In liopes that you may profit by my gain ! 
 Have I been hasty? Am I Jhere to blame ? 
 Answer all ye who own a parent's name. 
 Thus have I tir'd you with an untaught 
 ranse, 
 Who for a favour still most humbly sues, 
 That you, for classic learning, will receive 
 My soul's best wishes, which I freely give; 
 l<'0r polisb'd periods, round, and touch'd 
 
 with art, 
 The fervent offerings of my grateful heart. 
 
 Origin of Commerce, and of the use 
 
 of Money. 
 
 THE few wants of men in the first 
 stage of society, are supplied by bar- 
 ter in its rudest form. In barter the 
 rational consideration is, what \s 
 wanted by the one, and what can be 
 spared by the other. But savages are 
 not always so clear sighted. A savage 
 who wants a knife will give for it any 
 thing that is less useful to him at the 
 time, without considering his future 
 wants. But mankind improves by 
 degrees, attending to what is wanted 
 on the one side, and to what can be 
 spared on the other. 
 
 Barter, in its original form, proved 
 miserably deficient when men and 
 their wants nmlliplied. That sort of 
 commerce could not be carried on at 
 a distance; and even among neigh- 
 bours, it does not always happen, 
 that the one can spare what the other 
 wants; it was necessary, therefore, 
 that some commodity should be found 
 in general estimation, that uoiiid be 
 gladly accepted in exchange for every 
 other, and which should be neiliier 
 bulky, expensive in keeping, norcon- 
 sutnahle by time. Gold aad silver 
 are metals ihat possess these proper- 
 ties in an eminent degree ; and are 
 also divisible into small parts, ctjuve- 
 nicnt to be given for goods of small 
 value. 
 
 Gold and silver, when first intro- 
 duced into comniercp, were probablv 
 bartered like otiier commodities, by 
 
 bulk merely; but shortly, instead of 
 being given loosely by bulk, every 
 portion was weighed in scales, but 
 weight was no security against mixing 
 gold and silver with base metals. To 
 prevent that fraud, pieces of gold and 
 silver are impressed with a public 
 stamp, vouching both the purity and 
 the quantity; and such pieces are 
 termed coiyi. 
 
 This was an improvement in com- 
 merce, and at first probably, deemed 
 complete. It was not foreseen that 
 these metals wear by nmch handling 
 in the course of circulation, and con- 
 sequently, that in time the public 
 stamp is reduced to be a voucher oi" 
 the purity only, not of the quantity. 
 This embarrassment is remedied bv 
 the use of paper money; and paper 
 money is attended with another advan- 
 tage, that of preventing the loss of 
 much gold and silver by wearing. 
 
 When gold or silver in bullion is 
 exchanged with other commodities, 
 such commerce passes under the com- 
 mon name of barter, ov penmitaiion : 
 when current coin is exchanged, such 
 commerce is termed hiyins; and sell' 
 ing; and the nmuey exchanged is 
 ternied the price cf the goods. 
 
 The Phcenicians were the earliest 
 people who are recorded to have de- 
 voted themselves to commerce. It 
 seems they performed long vovages, 
 and established colonies in remote 
 comitries, like the moderns. The 
 Greeks and the Romans were not in- 
 sensible of the value of commerce, 
 and ihey pursued it at different periods 
 willi eagerness and success. 
 
 Tiie Venetians from the year 9OO 
 to 1500, enjoyed a monopoly of the 
 produce of the East, and thereby be- 
 came a wealthy and powerful people. 
 The Genoese proved their rivals; but 
 certain free towns in (aermanv, called 
 Hans Towns, afterwards di-,j)Hled 
 with the Italians the palm ol com- 
 merce. 
 
 Jhe Tortuguese, on discoverih,' a
 
 30'2 Liter a nj Curiosities, Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events, 
 
 new route to Indi;i, by the Ctipe of 
 Good Hope, bt'catne for a liuic a ( 
 consiilerablo comint rcia! people; but 
 the Dutch (irove them from liieir In- 
 <Jia possessions, and for a cenluiy 
 canifd on hnif the trade of liie world. 
 Fiiialiy, the F'n^lish have taken the 
 lead of all other nations; aud by 
 nipiinb of t!i«?ir invincible fleets, their 
 free constilution, their (iomestic S'.^ri- 
 cuiture and nianufactures, and their 
 valuable colonies in every sea, they 
 have nearly engrossed the commerce 
 of the world to thenistlves. 
 
 Epitafh on Kithj Fisher, icho died soon 
 after she was married, 
 
 SHE wedded — to live honest ; but, when 
 
 tried, 
 Th' fxptrimeut she lik'd not — and so died. 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 THE latelMr. Hail, the ingenious 
 and witty author of the Crazi/ Tales, 
 aiid other orii^inal performances, was, 
 with all his wit and humour, oppresbed 
 at times with very unpleasing hypo- 
 chondriac affections. In one of these 
 fits, at Skelton-castle, in Yorkshire, 
 he kept his chamber, talked of death 
 and the east wind as synonimous terms, 
 and could not be persuaded by his 
 friends to mount his horse, and dissi- 
 pate the blue devils by air and exer- 
 cise. Mr. Sterne, who was at this 
 time one of his visitants, finding that 
 no reasons could })rpvail against the 
 fancies of liis friend, bribed an active 
 boy to scale the turret of the castle, 
 turn the weathercock due west, and 
 fasten it with a cord to that point. 
 Mr. Hall rose from his bed as usual, 
 oppressed and unliappy, when casting 
 his eye through a bow-window to the 
 turret, and seeing the wind due west, 
 he immediately joined his company at 
 breakfast, ordered his horse to be 
 saddled, and enlivened the morning's 
 ride with his facetious bwrnour, exe- 
 crating easterly winds, aud launching 
 
 forlh in praise of western breezes. 
 Thi'^ continued f(»r three or four days, 
 until unfortunately the cord brenkiug 
 wliich fa«.tened the weathercock, it 
 returtied at oure to its easterly posi- 
 tion ; and Mr. Hail retreated to his 
 chanibcr, without having the least 
 suspicion of the trick, which his covi- 
 sin Shandy had played upon him. 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 WHEN fieorge the Second pro- 
 posed giving ihc command of the ex- 
 pedition against Quebec to Genet al 
 Wolfe, grtat objections were raised ; 
 and the cluke of N , in particu- 
 lar, begged his mnjesty to consider, 
 ihat the man was aclually mad. " If 
 he be mad, so much the better," re- 
 •)liid the king, "as in that case, I 
 iiope to God he will bite some of my 
 generals." 
 
 Epitaph on Jemmy Jewell. 
 
 'TIS odd, qnite odd, that I should langh, 
 Wlien I'm to write an epitaph. 
 Here lie the bones of a rakish Timmy, 
 Who was a Jewell and a Jemmy. 
 He dealt in diamonds, garnets, rings, 
 And twice tea thousand pretty things ; 
 Now he supplies Old Nick with fuel, 
 And there's an end of Jemmy Jevoell, 
 
 Enigma, 
 
 TWO men, with their two wives, 
 and two sons, stand thus related to 
 each other: the men are each other's 
 fatheis and sons, their wives fathers 
 and husbands, and their children's 
 fathers and grandfathers; the women 
 are the childrens mothers and sisters; 
 and the boys are uncles to each other, 
 and all without the least incest. 
 Query, how can this be ? 
 
 Explanation, 
 
 THE two men had been widowers, 
 and married each othei's daughters.
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, 8f€. S93 
 
 The cun7thi2^ Dream. 
 THREE weary pilgrims (ravellinsi 
 toj?elher, had missed their mad, and 
 entered an exceeding thick wood. 
 Night overtaking them before they 
 were able to find their way out of 
 tliis labyrinth, ihey laid themselves 
 down beneath a tree, near a refreshiui; 
 spring of waler; and being thirsty, 
 its cool and clear appearance invited 
 them to diiiik thereof. After they 
 had qtieoched their thirst, they per- 
 ceived that they had only bread 
 V enough for one person ,* and that, 
 were it divided, it would not satisfy 
 Ihem all. One of them perceiving 
 this, said, " Let us sleep a little be- 
 fore we eat, and he that has had the 
 best dream shall have all the bread, 
 and the other two shall remain con- 
 lent with having none." With all my 
 heart, says the other." " I agree to 
 it, says the last, provided all three 
 lie down to sleep together." The two 
 first, who were more fatigued than 
 their partner, fell fast asleep m a short 
 time; and the youngest, whose sto- 
 mach did not seem to relish a vacuum, 
 says to himself, I should be indeed a 
 gr«»ssfooI, if I did not take advantage 
 of my companions' sleep; and having 
 taken the bread he eat it, and then 
 with great composure fell fast asleep 
 himself. Midnight had not passed, 
 e're they were all awake, and began 
 to recount the dreams they had had 
 during their sleep. •' I thought (says 
 the oldest) that I \f as in a place upon 
 earth resembling a paradise, which 
 was full of all manner of delights, 
 where every pleasure was to be found, 
 and every sense gratified; where 
 they drink, sing, and dance; where 
 you walk in the most beautiful gar- 
 dens ; and that in these gardens there 
 were flowers that never faded, trees 
 that ever retained a perpetual verdure, 
 and bore excellent fine fruit ; parter- 
 res, and walks ; birds, who, by their 
 melodious warbling, charnied-,the ear; 
 
 and that, in short, there was every 
 thing that could be thought of to 
 please mankind." 
 
 " As I am naturally of a more 
 wicked turn than you, (says the other) 
 I thought I was gone to hell, where I 
 saw nothino but miserable wretches, 
 who were in excruciating torment and 
 agony. I heard notliing but mournful 
 cries and horrid groans; and, whilst 
 I was seized with fear, at sight of so 
 much woe and misery, I awaked ; so 
 that I feel great pleasure and satisfac- 
 tion in having had a dream, ttiat by 
 having terrified me, has given me 
 occasion to be diverted afterwards by 
 the remembrance of it; which has 
 made so great au impression on me, 
 that it still remains in my mind, and 
 for that very reason it is that I pretend 
 that my dream is without comparison 
 better than yours'." 
 
 " I, (says the youngest) stretching 
 his arms, and yawning, have likewise 
 been dreaming, at the same time with 
 you both, that one of you were gone 
 to paradise, and the other to hell : I 
 imagined within myself that neither 
 of you would ever return again, and 
 in mistakt have eat the bread, and by 
 that means have gained the wager." 
 
 SIR 
 
 A droll Anecdote. 
 George . 
 
 <^)ing in 
 
 London, his corpse was sent to the 
 
 county of in order to be 
 
 interred in the family vault. The 
 man who drove the hearse stopped 
 late in the evening at the Crown in 
 * * ' *. Some arch wags who were 
 drinking at the inn, observing the 
 -(stler to be dead drunk, resolved, by 
 way of frolic, to terrify him when he 
 rame to his senses. The scheme was 
 easily put in execution. When al was 
 silent, they conveyed the coffin out of 
 the hearse, and very carefully depo- 
 sited the ostler in its place. The dri- 
 ver, ignorant of the trick that had 
 been played him, in the morning very 
 3 B
 
 891 Lilerar]f Curiosities. Epitaphs, Wonderful E cents » 
 
 soberly proceeded on liis journey. 
 He had not gone far, before he heard 
 a noise resembling groans, which he 
 imagined came from the hearse. 
 Terrified beyond description, he was 
 about to quit his post, and leave the 
 corpse to the care of whoever had 
 more courage than liimself : but re- 
 collecting the ill consequence attend- 
 ing such an imprudent step, he dis- 
 mounted, and, with a trenielous voice, 
 addressed the supposed dead man in 
 the following terms: "In the name 
 of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, 
 *' Sir George, what is it disturbs yo»i T 
 — The ostler, whom sleep and the 
 motion of the hearse had by this time 
 restored to his senses, finding himself 
 in total darkness, was greatly frighted, 
 and, with as n)uch strength of lungs 
 as he could exert, bawled out, " I an) 
 not Sir George, but the ostler of the 
 Crown ! How 1 came here, I know 
 not; but for God's sake let me out, 
 or I shall die in good earnest." — The 
 driver, by this time smoked the jest, 
 set the pooj fellow at liberty, and, 
 with many imprecations on those who 
 had played him the trick, returned to 
 the inn, in search of the cofiiii ; which 
 he found in a back room, which hap- 
 pened not to have been entered from 
 the time of its being placed there, 
 till the terrified driver returned ; who 
 replaced the cofiin in the hearse, and 
 made what speed he could with it to 
 its destined repository. 
 
 Resdij Wit. 
 SOME company in Ireland dis- 
 puting relative to the quickness of re- 
 ply, ascribed to the lower orders of 
 that countiy, it was resolved to put 
 the matter to the test in the person 
 of a clown who was approaching 
 them. — " Pat," said one of the gen- 
 tlemen, if the devil was to come and 
 determined to have one of us, which 
 do you think he would take ?" " Me, 
 to be sure." "Why so?" "Because 
 he knows he can have ycur honor at 
 any time." 
 
 A surprising Instance of Gratifudi 
 and Sagacity in an EkpJiunt. 
 
 AN elephant that had been very 
 often fed, and kindly treated by an 
 herb-woman, belonging to the market 
 of Dchli, the capital of Indostan, 
 once passed t!i rough the market when 
 it was very outrageou*, sparing nothing 
 that came in its way ; it accordingly 
 drove on with the utmost fury, throw- 
 ing down and trampling upon all those 
 it met, until the daughter of an herb- 
 woman, a little child that could scarce 
 crawl along, happened to co«ne in its 
 way. Its rage immediately subsided ; 
 it took up the child gently upon its 
 proboscis, and laying it upon a shed 
 hard by, where it might be out of 
 harm's way, proceeded with the same 
 furv as before. 
 
 An Account of an uncommon 
 Tempest. 
 
 MR. RRYDONE, a late ingenious 
 traveller, says in his account of Malta, 
 that on the 29th of October, in the 
 year 1757, about three quarters of 
 an hour after midnight, there ap- 
 peared to the *outh-west of the city, 
 a great black cloud, which as it ap- 
 proached, changed its colour, until 
 at last it became like a flame of fire 
 mixed with black smoke. A dreadful 
 noise was heard on its approach, 
 which alarmad the whole city. It 
 passed over part of the port, and 
 came first upon an English ship, which 
 in an instant was torn to pieces, and 
 nothing left but the hulk: part of the 
 masts, sails, and cordage, were car- 
 ried along with the cloud to a consid- 
 erable distance. The small boats 
 that were in its way, were torn to 
 pieces, or sunk ; the noise increased, 
 and became more frightful. A senti- 
 nel, terrified at its approach, took 
 shelter in his box ; both he and it were 
 lifted up, and carried into the sea, 
 where he perished ; it then traversed 
 a considerable part of the city, and 
 
 II
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas , Epigrams, Poetry, ^c. 393 
 
 i- 
 
 aid iu ruins almost every thing in its 
 course. Several houses were throwi; 
 down, nor was there one steeple kA 
 standing in its passage ; the bells, 
 with the spires of some, were carried 
 to a considerable distance ; the roofs 
 of the houses were deniolithed and 
 beat doun, which, if it had happened 
 in the da\-tiine, must have caused a 
 dreatlful slauiihter, as the people 
 would all have ran to the churches 
 It went off 4f the north-east point of 
 the city, and, demolishing the light- 
 house, is «a!d to have mounted up into 
 the air with a most frightful noise, 
 and passed over the sea to Sicily, 
 where it tore up some trees, and did 
 other damage; but its force had been 
 spent at Malta, The number of killed 
 and wounded, was near '200; and the 
 loss of shipping, houses, and churches, 
 was very considerable. 
 
 However the learned may differ in 
 opinions concermng thi'> singular phe- 
 nomenon, the sentiments of the peo- 
 ple are conci^^e and positive ; they de- 
 clare, with one voice, that it was a 
 legion of devils let loose to punish 
 them for their sins. There are a 
 thousand persons in Malta, who will 
 make oath that they saw them within 
 the cloud, all as black as pitch, and 
 breathing out fire and brimstone. 
 Tliey add, that if there had not been 
 a few godly persons amongst them, 
 their whole city would certauily have 
 been involved in one universal destruc- 
 tion. 
 
 Perhaps Malta is the only country 
 in the world, where duelling is per- 
 mitted bylaw: but they have laid it 
 under such restrictions, as greatly re- 
 duce its danger. These are curious 
 enough ; the duellists are obliged to 
 decide their quarrel in one particular 
 street in the city; and ?f they presume 
 to light any were else, they ate liable 
 to the rigour of the law. But what 
 
 is not Itss singular, and much more 
 in their favour, tUey are obliged, un- 
 der the niost severe penalties, to put 
 
 up their swords, when ordered so to 
 do by a woman, a priest, or a knight.— 
 As their whole establishment is founded 
 on the wild and romantic piinciples 
 >f chivalry, they found it inconsistent 
 with these principles to abolish duel- 
 lin», but they have laid it under re- 
 strictions. 
 
 An Account of a remarkable Echo 
 in a C/iurch, 
 
 A MODERN traveller says, the 
 great church at Agrigentum, in Sicily, 
 is noted for a remarkable echo, some- 
 thing iu the same style of the whisper- 
 iag gallery at St. Paul's, though much 
 more difhcult to be accounted for. If 
 one person stands at the west-gate, 
 and another places himself on the cor- 
 nice, at the most distant point of the 
 church, exactly behind the great altar, 
 they can liold a conversation in very 
 low whisjXMSwith the utmost distinct- 
 ness, for many years, this singula- 
 rity was not generally known; and 
 several of the confessing chairs being 
 placed near the great altar, the wags 
 who were in the secret, used to take 
 their station at the door of the cathe- 
 dral, and by this means, heard dis- 
 tinctly, every word that passed be- 
 twixt the confessor and his penitent; 
 of which they did not fail to make 
 tlieir own use, when occasion offered. 
 The most secret intrigues were disco- 
 vered; and every woman in the city, 
 changed either her gallant, or her 
 confesBor, yet still it was the same. 
 At last, however, the cause was found 
 out ; the chairs were removed, and 
 other precautions were taken to pre- 
 vent the discovery of those sacred 
 mysteries ; and a mutual amnesty 
 passed amongst all the ofiended 
 parties. 
 
 An Anecdote of Henry IF. King 
 of France. 
 
 THE king went alone, to sup and 
 to sleep at the house of an (;{hcei-, 
 3K2
 
 396 hlterary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 for whom he had particular regard ; 
 but found only the wife at home, who 
 did not know the kino's person, bui 
 perceived he was a man of rank, aisd 
 therefore received him as her hus- 
 band's tViend. The kiijg desired sup- 
 per, and complained of being very 
 hungry, but perceivir.g some embar- 
 rassment in the lady's countenance, he 
 desired her to be ingenuous, and to 
 tell him the cause. The lady then in- 
 formed him, that she had searched 
 through the whole village, and nothing 
 iit to be eat was to be had but a tur- 
 key, and that the man who had it 
 would not part with it on any terms, 
 unless he was permitted to come and 
 eat of it ; to which the king consented, 
 though he was a mechanic, especially 
 as he found he was warmly attached 
 to his interest. While the turkey was 
 roasting, he entertained his majesty 
 with a variety of humorous stories; 
 and when the repast was over, he fell 
 on his knees, and, asking the king's 
 pardon for the liberty he had taken, 
 told him he saw him ride by, and knew 
 Lis person, and now, would not lise, 
 until he had obtained the honour of 
 being made a gentleman, as his due 
 for the recent honour he had been ad- 
 mitted to. This bi ought the lady too 
 upon her knees, and all the natural 
 consequences. " But (said the king 
 to the mechanic) if I make you a gen- 
 tleman, what arms will you bear ?" 
 *' My turkey, surely, sire." — He was 
 accordingly made neble, and the fa- 
 mily to this day bear the turkey for 
 their arms. 
 
 A smart Answer of the Earl of Dor- 
 set to King Charles II. 
 
 THE earl of Dorset coming to 
 court on Queen Elizabeth's birth-day, 
 the king (Charles II.) asked him what 
 the bells rang for ? which having an- 
 swered, the king further asked him, 
 how it came to pass, that her holiday 
 was still kept, while those of his fa- 
 
 ther and grandfather, were no more 
 thought of than William the eiui- 
 queror's? Because, said the frank 
 peer to the frank king, she, being a 
 woman, cho'^e men for her counsellors, 
 and men, when tluy reign, usually 
 choose women. — What a sarcasnj on 
 the lewd king himself! whose father, 
 though otherwise a virtuous prince, 
 was governed by an im})erioiis French 
 woman of a wife; and his grandfather, 
 though he had no mistresses, had little 
 masters who governed him, and whom 
 he chose for no other merit, but behtg 
 as like women as men could be. 
 
 A remarkable Echo. 
 
 A MAN remarkable for shotting a 
 long bow, gave the following account 
 of an echo; he said, as he was sailing 
 in a man of war, very near the shore 
 in Devonshire, he heard so fine a con- 
 cert of music, that he thought Han- 
 del and his band were playing con- 
 certos on the shore. " For," says he, 
 "'twas a fine summer's eve, the sea 
 k% smooth as grass, and not a breath 
 of wind stirring ; and the captain 
 being a Devonshire man, thought that 
 some neighbouring gentlemen were 
 making merry there; he ordered out 
 his boat, and took me with him on 
 sh«re, and when we came up to the 
 music," said he. " What do you think 
 it was?" The company being puzzled 
 to find it out, "he told them it was no- 
 thing but a shepherd playing upon a 
 Jew's-harp, and the variety of sounds 
 which they heard, was owing to the 
 echo of the recks." *' Strange echo, 
 indeed," says a gentleman in company 
 " though nothing like one I heard in 
 Devonshire myself; for," says he, " a 
 gentleman of my acquaintance, shew- 
 ing me his gardens, park, and other 
 curiosities, brought me at last upon 
 a mount, which had a ruin that stood 
 at some small distance; ' that ruin,' 
 says my friend, 'makes the finest echo 
 from this place, which you ever heard,
 
 Interesting Nanatkes, Enigmas^ Eptgrams^ Poefrij, 8^c. 397 
 
 he bid me hollow and tr\ ;' u,)on 
 which, I, with a loiiJ voice cncd, 
 How doyon do? And ihe echo an- 
 ewered, " Very well." 
 
 Mount Sion and Mount Ephraim, 
 or which is the btst ? 
 
 A WHIMSICAL incident rec ntly 
 occurred in the old chapel of Tui- 
 biidge Wells. The cleik who is pro- 
 prietor of several houses on INIoiiiit 
 Sion, has long been memorable, when 
 any of these are about to become 
 untenanted, to give out a particular 
 Psalm, which, not detracting from 
 its spiritual object abova, might serve 
 at the same time to announce, sorne 
 temporal concerns of his own below. 
 Some lime ago, however, he had no 
 sooner given out the first line of his 
 favotite ejaculation, " Mount Sion is 
 a pleasant place!" than a person 
 having a counter interest in tlie 
 dwelling upon the opposite hill, im- 
 mediately, and in the same clerical 
 tone of voice, rejoined^ " Mount 
 Ephraim is much more so !" which 
 threw poor Amen, into such confusion 
 and the auditory into so an irrisista- 
 ble fit of laughter, that it was a con- 
 siderable time before the congregation 
 could be restored to its wonted gra- 
 vity. 
 
 An Instinct of the Tortoise. 
 
 IT is very remarkable, that when 
 the waters are dried up by excessive 
 heat, the tortoises, which always 
 seek for moisture, bury themselves 
 under the earth, in proportion as the 
 surface of it becomes dry. To find 
 them it is then sufficient to dig a con- 
 siderable depth in the spot where 
 they have concealed themselves. — 
 They generally remain as is asleep : 
 and never awake, or make their ap- 
 pearance, until the rainy season has 
 supplied the ponds and small lakes 
 with water, on the borders of which 
 they deposit their eggs, where they 
 
 continue exposed to the air ; they are 
 as large a? those of a pigeon : they 
 leave to the heat and the sun the care 
 of hatching them. These egcs have 
 an excellent taste; the white, which 
 ncvc- becomes hard by the force of 
 fire, preserve? the transparencv of a 
 blueish Jtlly. It is not known whether 
 instinct be common to every species 
 of watt^r tc^'.oises, and whether they 
 idl employ liie same m«ans. 
 
 j4 Copy of a Lady's Library. 
 
 CASSANDRA, a Romance. 
 
 Whitfield's Hymns. 
 
 A Collection of Trials for Grim Con. 
 
 The Whole Duly of Woman. 
 
 The Beaux Stratagem. 
 
 The Fifteen Comfoits of Matrimony. 
 
 Wesley's Sermons, 
 
 Love's Last Shift. 
 
 The Harlot's Progress, a Poem. 
 
 The Week's Preparation. 
 
 The Hi;toryof Merryland. 
 
 Culpepper's Midwifery. 
 
 Mrs. Rndd's Trial. 
 
 The Modern Atalantis, 
 
 The Pious Parishioner. 
 
 The Wanton Wife of Bath. 
 
 The Death of Abel. 
 
 The Art of Preserving Beaufy to ex- 
 treme Old Age. 
 
 Rochester's Poems. 
 
 The Art of Ingeniously Tormenting. 
 
 Callipcedia. 
 
 Sherlock on Death. 
 
 The History of the Devil 
 
 Lord Grey's Love Letters. 
 
 The History of Apparitions. 
 
 The New Art of Hair-diessing. 
 
 The Lives of the Saints. 
 
 A Treatise on the Cosmetic Wasli. 
 
 The Fable ofthe Bees. 
 
 The Art of Love. 
 
 The Fall of Man, a Poem. 
 
 Mrs. Glasse's Cookery. 
 
 Don John ; or the Libertine. 
 
 The Moravian Hymns. 
 
 A Narratire of the Etlects ef Mrs. 
 Gibson's fi/essee/ Medicine.
 
 398 Liferartf Cirriosliies^ Epitaphs, Wonderful t^vcnts, 
 
 Humourous Instance of Hibeniinn 
 Effrontery and Presence of Mind. 
 
 A CERTAIN jontleman, from be- 
 yond the liffej, happening, by soiue 
 nuans or other, to procure a com- 
 mission under General Wolfe, had the 
 horionr, one day, to receive ;ni invita- 
 tion from him to supper. — Meeting. 
 in tlie iterim,' by accident, with on»> 
 of his brother officers, who stron^l^ 
 urged him to go and make one of a 
 party at cards with some other gen- 
 tleman of the corps, lie excused him- 
 self, and added, with a de^a^-e, though 
 self-im})ortant air of famaliarity, " 1 
 am to sup to night with Wolfe." 
 
 The last word was hardly uttered, 
 when up came the general. 
 
 " If not from respect to myself, 
 sir," said he to the astonished Hiber- 
 nian, " yet from respect, at least, to 
 the ranl^ I hold, for the future say 
 General Wolfe." — " Your pardon, 
 sir," replied the other, with a coun- 
 tenance seemingly unembarrassed — 
 " We never say General Cajsar, Gen- 
 eral Ha\m\ba\, therefore^I thought it 
 altogether superfluous to say General 
 Wolfe." 
 
 A whimsical Advertisement. 
 
 THOMAS Touchwood, gent, pro- 
 poses on the last day of this present 
 month, to shoot himself by subscrip- 
 tion. His life being of no further 
 use to him or hi? friends, he takes 
 this method of endeavouring to turn 
 his death to some account ; and the 
 novelty of the performance he hopes 
 will merit the attention and patron- 
 age of the public. He will perform 
 wifli two pistols, the first shot to be 
 directed through hi? abdomen, to 
 which will be added, HROther through 
 bis brain ; the whole to conclude with 
 staggering, convulsions, grinning, &c. 
 in a manner never befoie publicly 
 attempted. 
 
 The doors to be opened at eight, 
 jind the e.xhibition to begin precisely 
 
 at nine. Particular places, for that 
 night only, reserved for the ladies. 
 No money to be returned, nor half 
 price taken-. 
 
 N. B. Beware of counterfeits and 
 impostors. The person who adver- 
 tised to hang himself the same night, 
 in opposition to Mr, Touchwood, is 
 a tayior, who intends only to give 
 ihe representation of death, by danc- 
 ing in a collar; an attempt infinitely 
 inferior to Mr. T.'s original and au- 
 thentic performance. 
 
 Anecdote of Edward the Black 
 Prince. 
 
 WHEN Edward the Black Prince 
 was a terror to France, he bestowed 
 five hundred marks per annum on 
 Lord Audely, for his service in the 
 battle of Poictiers or Cressy, whicli 
 lord immediately gave the royal pre- 
 sent among his four 'squires, who 
 fought bravely with him; which being 
 carried to the prince by some court- 
 informers, as a slight of his gift, my 
 lord was sent for, and owned the fact 
 ill ternis of this purpose : " May it 
 please your highness, these four gen- 
 tlemen behaved themselves better 
 than myself, and deserved the reward 
 I have given them ; and blessed be 
 God, I have estate enough to enjoy 
 all I desire." The prince, touched 
 will) his generosity, confirmed his 
 donation, and gave my lord live hun- 
 dred more for himself. 
 
 ' Epitaph at Thet/ord, in Norfolk. 
 
 MY grandmolber was buried h*re, 
 
 5Iy (ousin Jaue, and two uncles dear: 
 
 iVJy father perish'd with a morlitkation ia 
 liis thighs; 
 
 My sisif r dropp'd down dead in the Miuo- 
 ries: 
 
 But (he reason why I'hi here intcrr'd ac- 
 cording (o my thiuliinjf, 
 
 Is owin-g to my good living and bard drink- 
 ing. 
 
 If, therefore, good christians, you wish to 
 live long, 
 
 Don't drink too much wine, brandy, gin, 
 or any thing strong. 
 
 * 
 
 it
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetff/, ^-c. 399 
 
 The Country Parson. 
 
 HARD by the side of Snowdon's lofty hill, 
 Inclos'd with thicket? and a purling rill. 
 There liv'd an honest vicar, free from strife, 
 Tho' clogg'd with that tempesl'ous thing, — 
 
 a wife. 
 Neat was his house, and bumble tho' not 
 
 mean, 
 Fine without cost, tho' elegantly clean : 
 In this parochjal state he spent his years, 
 Nor rais'd by fortune, nor depress'd by 
 
 cares ; 
 Grave, and close fisted, yet who once did 
 
 treat 
 A London rector, at this bumble seat; 
 A priest, well known at court, in daily wait, 
 On bishops, lords, and ministers of state; 
 Could flatter, fawn, and cringe, — call this 
 
 man brother. 
 Say one thing openly, but mean another. 
 Both were at Cambridge bred, and both had 
 
 spent 
 Seven studious years in friendship and con- 
 tent ; 
 But this by hating Tory and Tretender, 
 Had gained a living from our faith's de- 
 fender 
 On Cambria's hills, and now came down 
 
 that way, 
 To see his tenants, and receive his pay: 
 The rev'rend vicar treats his cringing 
 gnost 
 With all the rarities his house possest. 
 The beer was tapt, with cyder rough and 
 
 sweet. 
 And beef and pork serv'd np, which lords 
 
 might eat ; 
 Next came the produce of the female goats, 
 And apples blushing in their rnddy coals. 
 All these wereorder'd, that the guest might 
 
 see 
 How Wales abounded in variety : 
 Bnt no such food could gratify his taste, 
 lie loads his trencher with indecent waste; 
 Slicks his fork lightly in the suioaking meat. 
 And, loathing, praises what he's forc'd to 
 eat. 
 Now dinner's o'er, the night with mirtii 
 is crown 'd 
 While loyal healths and witty jokes go 
 
 round ; 
 At last the courtier, mellow grown and 
 
 free, 
 Extols this unexpected luxury. 
 Alas ! (cries he) how hard's your present 
 
 fate! 
 Small is your fortuner but your soul is 
 
 great : 
 Sure this muniiicent, Ticpiring mind, 
 Was ne'er for clitl's, and poverty design'd. 
 Why should a man of such transcendent 
 
 worth. 
 Return unheard of to his native earth : 
 
 Let goats frequent the brake and savage den, 
 You shall see courts, know kings, converse 
 
 with men : 
 Disdain old rnsty hats, and thread-bare 
 
 gown, 
 And learn the njceneas of Ih' engagin" 
 
 town- 
 First preach at court, then ask some pretty 
 
 see, 
 ^ living, chaplainship, or deanery; 
 Act against conscience, not afraid to lie. 
 And cry up Walpole's virlne to the sky. 
 Then rail at St. John, Puiteuey, and the rest, 
 'ud always swear the present time- are beat. 
 Since life's still fleeting, and no man 
 bath pow'r 
 To hasten or retard the destin'd hour, 
 Since great and small must render up their 
 
 breath. 
 Nor Cambria's rocks can stand a seige with 
 
 death, 
 Haste, ha?te with me, and thankfully re- 
 ceive, 
 All the kind gods, and kinder king can 
 
 give. 
 But oh ! what vicar with Socralic arm?, 
 Cou'd e"er withstand prejerment's easy 
 
 charms ? 
 His thoughts are centered in some high de- 
 gree, 
 His desk's a throne, his vicarage a see. 
 With these delusions iir'd, he hates delay. 
 And eagerly pursues thejoyioi way. 
 
 Both bear the inclemeucies of wind and 
 wet. 
 And reach St James's as the suu was set. 
 His lordship s house appears, the mastifTs 
 
 roar, 
 Th' obsequious porter cringes at the door. 
 Up stairs they go, the courtier kads the 
 
 way, 
 Unnsual ohjects claim th? vicar's stay. 
 He views the product of the curious loom. 
 And eyes both Indies in one splendid room. 
 
 Within the lobby of a dome of suite. 
 Both with due patience for their supper 
 
 wait ; 
 At length repeated dainties grace the board. 
 Th' unlasted oifals of the piddling lord : 
 Ragouts, and ortolans, and costly lisb, 
 Conceal diseases in the shining dish. 
 Our servile courtier acts the weli-knowa 
 
 part, 
 And helps the stranger with the nicest art, 
 Picks out the morsel that is choice and rare, 
 And cloys his stomach with luxuriant fare. 
 The exalted vicar owns his happy station, 
 Nor silently enjoys his new translation ; 
 When lo! the steward with undauutpd face. 
 Informs the courtier of his sure disgrace ; 
 Cancels the hononrs which he had enjoyed, 
 And in one moflient all his hopes destroyeii. 
 The atirighted vicar in his wretched state, 
 Condeojns his folly, but condemns too iate^^
 
 400 Literarij Cunosittes, Ejiitaphu, Wonderful Events, 
 
 t'lirsesfhe court, and all (he servilp Irain, 
 Whose smile isd'each'ry, and whose fiieod- 
 
 ship's bane ! 
 Farewell (he cries) St. James's glitt'ring 
 
 show, 
 III to my vicarasre and my mountains go ; 
 There will Hive, in iinmolesttd ease, 
 On lythe pig, barn-door fowls, and salutary 
 
 peas. 
 
 Humourous Jeicish Oi'igin of the 
 Custom of making Fools on ilic 
 First of April. 
 'THIS is said to have begun from 
 the mistake of Noah in sending the 
 flove out of the ark before the water 
 had abated, on the first of tiie month 
 among the Hebiexys, which answers 
 to our first of April. And to perpe- 
 tuate this deliverance, it was thought 
 proper, whoever forgot so remark- 
 able a ciicuni^tancc, to punish them 
 by sending them upon some sleeveless 
 errand, similar to that ineffectual 
 message upon which the bird was sent 
 by the patriarch. 
 
 MisforiunB^ remarkably attending the 
 Stuart Family. 
 
 KING Charles the first was be- 
 headed. — His fdther James (the sixth 
 • of Scotland, and first of England) 
 lived inglorious, the jest of ail Europe, 
 and there was too much reason to 
 suppose he died of poison. His mother, 
 Mary Stuart, queen of Scotland, was 
 beheaded by Queen Elizabeth's order: 
 Lord Darnley, her husband, and 
 King James's father, was blown up 
 by gunpowder at Edinburgh, Queen 
 Mary's father, James the fifth of 
 Scotland, was said to have died ef 
 grief, but there are reasons to suppose 
 he was poisoned ; his father, James 
 the third was slahi just after a battle 
 against his lords and own son ; he 
 was killed in a mill: his father, James 
 the second, was killed by the discharge 
 of a piece of ordnance, which he 
 would fire himself: hisfaiher, James 
 the first, was killed by some conspi- 
 
 rators in his own chamber, and in hi^ 
 fjucen's arms. — If we go downward, 
 from King Charles the first, it is much 
 tl)e same: Chailes tiie second lived 
 long in exile, and probably was poi- 
 soned at last : James the second, his 
 brother, abfiicated and died iu France: 
 his son (the pretender) if really such, 
 (though there is great reason to believe 
 he wiis not his son) lived dependent 
 on other princes, and died an exile. — 
 To all this it may be proper to add, 
 that in all probability Queen Anne, 
 youngest daughter of James the 
 second, was hurried out of her life 
 by a violent tory faction. 
 
 In removing part of the Altar of Wolvet' 
 hampfon Church, in the year 1789, there 
 appeared to be a part of a Monument , 
 with the following Inscription in very 
 legible Characters— the date 1690. 
 
 HERE lies the bones 
 
 Of Joseph .Tones, 
 Wh» eat whilst he was able ; 
 
 But once o'er fed, 
 
 He drop! down dead. 
 And fell beneath the table. 
 
 When from his tomb. 
 
 To meet his doom, 
 He rises amidst sinners ; 
 
 Since he m^st dwell 
 
 In heav'n or hell. 
 Take him — which gives best dinners! 
 
 Anecdote of the late Dr. Pitcairn, 
 
 WHEN degrees vifcre held in higher 
 estimation, and therefore more covet- 
 ed, than at present. Dr. Pitcairii, 
 then at Edinburgh, in order to afFr«nt 
 a Dutch University, where he himself 
 had been graduated, and degrees had 
 been much prostituted, sent for a de- 
 ploma for his valet; wbich beuig 
 granted, he sent for another for bis 
 horse ; to which last request the rec- 
 tor Magnificus replied, that with a 
 view to oblige him, they had consult- 
 ed their records for a precedent, but 
 that they could not find one ; though 
 under the name of Pitcairn, it appear- 
 ed, that the University had once con- 
 ferred an honarary degree on an ass.
 
 interestinq Narratives, Eni</mas, Epifframs, Poetnf, S^c. 401 
 
 The Life of Edtvard Marcus Des- 
 pard, who was executed at Horse- 
 mono;er-Lane, for High-Treason, on 
 February 21s^, 1803. 
 
 EDWARD MARCUS DPSPARD ' 
 
 was born in 1750 or 1751, and de- 
 scended from a very ancient and re- 
 spectable familv in the Queen's-county 
 ill Ireland. He was the youngest ol 
 six brothers^ all of whom except Ihe 
 eldest, had served either in the army 
 or navy. In 1766, he entered the 
 army as an ensiun in the 5th regiment : 
 in the same regiment he seived as a 
 lieutenant, and in the 79*1' be served 
 successively as lieutenant, qiiartei- 
 niaster, captain-lieutenant, and cap 
 tain. — From his superior officers he 
 received many marks of approbation, 
 particularly from General Calrraft of 
 the 50th, General Meadows, and the 
 duke of Northumberland. He had 
 been for the last 20 years detached 
 from any particular corps, and in- 
 trusted with important offices. In 1779 
 he was appointed chief engineer to the 
 St. Juan expedition, and conducted 
 himself so as to obtain distinguished 
 attention and praise from Captain Pol- 
 son, who commanded on that occa- 
 sion. He also received the thanks of 
 the council and assembly in the island 
 of Jamaica, for the construction of 
 public works there, and was in conte 
 quence of these services, appointed by 
 the governor of Jamaica, to be com- 
 mander-in-chief of the island of Rat- 
 tan and its dependencies, and of the 
 troops there, and to rank as lieutenant- 
 colonel and field-engineer, and com- 
 manded as such on the Spanish main, 
 iu Rattan, and on the Musquito-shore 
 and bay of Honduras. Alter this at 
 Cape Gracias a Dios he put himself aJ 
 the head of the inhabitants, who vo- 
 luntarily solicited him to take the ccni 
 nrand, and retook from the Spaniards 
 Black-river, the principal settlemeni 
 of the coast. For this service he re- 
 ceived tljo> thanks of the goverufr, 
 
 coHi'ci!, and assembly of Jamaica, and 
 of the king himself. In 1783 he was 
 promoted to the rank of colonel. In 
 1784. he was appointed tirst commis- 
 si iner for settling and receiving the 
 territory ceded to Britain by the sixth 
 article of the definitive treaty of peace 
 with Spain in 1783. He as a colonel, 
 so well dischaiged his duty, that he 
 was appointed superintendant of his 
 majesty's ati'airs on the coast of Hon- 
 duras, which office he held much to 
 the advantage of the crowa of Eng- 
 land, for he obtained from that of 
 Spain some very important privileges. 
 The clashing inti^rests, however, of 
 the inhabitants of the coast, produced 
 much discontent, Uiid the colonel was 
 by a party of them, accused of va- 
 rious misdemeanours to his majesty's 
 ministers. He now came home, and 
 demanded that his conduct should be 
 investigated ; but was, after two years 
 constant attendance on all the depart- 
 ments of governmeut, at last told by 
 ministers, that there was no charge 
 against him worthy of investigation ; 
 that his majesty had thought proper 
 to abolish the office of superinten- 
 dant at Honduras, otherwise he should 
 have been reinstated in it. But he 
 was then, and on every occasion, as- 
 pired that his services should not be 
 forgotten, but in due time meet their 
 reward. He and ten associates being 
 indicted for high treason, February 7, 
 I 80^ after the preliminary business of 
 choosinir, the jury was settled, the 
 hill of indictment, which consisted of 
 three couris, was then read. The 
 urosecuiion was opened by the attor- 
 ney-general, who in a very eloquent 
 and impartial iiranner, laid before the 
 jury the whole of the charge. "The 
 eleven prisonei'^, incli:uiiu,' Despard^ 
 formed a society at tl:e Oakly-Arms, 
 m the parish of St. Ah'.ry, Lambeth. 
 I he most active members, were I'ran- 
 cis and Wood, t. ;d their drift was to 
 iverturu the government. His nia- 
 j<:„ty having intended to meet his pur- 
 3 F
 
 402 LUcrary Curiosities, Epitaphs, IVonderfitl Events^ 
 
 lianient a week earlier than lie actually 
 did (on the l6th of January, instead 
 of the 23rd,) fhey designed on that 
 day, to carry into eftecl their plan, 
 by layirijj restraint apon the king's 
 person, and destroying him. They 
 iWquenlly attenipted to seduee sol- 
 diers into the association, in which, 
 tliey sometimes fsHcceeded, and some- 
 times failed. — rrancis administered 
 unlawful oaths to those that yielded, 
 and, among others, to Blades and 
 Windsor, giving them at the same 
 time, two or three copies of the oath, 
 that they might be enabled to make 
 proselytes in their turn. Windsor 
 soon after becoming dissatisfied, gave 
 information of the conspiracy to a 
 l\Ir. Bonus, and shewed him a copy of 
 the oath. This gentleman advised 
 him to continue a member of the as- 
 sociation, that he might learn whether 
 there were any persons of consequence 
 engaged in it. <^n the Friday before 
 the intended assassination of his ma- 
 jesty, a meeting took place, when 
 Brougliton prevailed upon two of the 
 associates to go to the Flying-Horse, 
 Newington, where he would meet 
 with a nice man, which nice man, as 
 he stiled him, was the prisoner, Des- 
 pard." 'llie first witness was John 
 Stratford, clerk to the magistrates of 
 Union-hall, who apprehended Colonel 
 Despard at the Oakly-Arms. There 
 were about thirty persons in the room, 
 and they were all, except the colonel, 
 of the lowest class, and very meanly 
 dressed. The printed papers found 
 JD the room were then produced and 
 read, consisting of the form of the 
 oath, ^c. Ttiis witnesses' evidence 
 was corroborated by the depositions 
 of other constables who had accom- 
 panied him. 'i'homas Windsor, the 
 chief witness, declared the manner in 
 which he took the oiith, and the plan 
 of the conspiracy. Having mentioned 
 the intended mode of proceeding, he 
 siiid, the prisoner observed that the 
 rittaik should be made on the day 
 
 when his majesty should go to the 
 parliament-house, and that his ma- 
 jesty must be put to death ; at the 
 same time the prisoner said, " I have 
 weighed the matter well, and my heart 
 is callous?" After the destruction of 
 the king, the mail coacJies were to be 
 stopped, as a signal to the people in 
 the country, that the revolt had taken 
 place hi town, The prisoner then de- 
 sired the witness to meet him the en- 
 suing morning, at half-past eleven 
 o'clock, on Tower-hill, and to bring 
 with him four or five intelligent men, 
 to consider upon the best manner for 
 taking the lower and securing the 
 arms. The witness accordingly met 
 him at the Tyger public-house on Tow- 
 er-hill, having brought with him two 
 or three soldiers. The prisoner now 
 repeated the declaration, that the king 
 must be put to death — and Wood 
 promised, when the king was going 
 to the house, he would post himself as 
 sentry over the great gun in the paik — 
 that he would load it, and fire at his 
 njajesty's coach as he passed through 
 the park. The several meetings, con- 
 sultations, &c. were further proved 
 by William Campbell, Charles Read, 
 Joseph Walker, Thomas Blades, and 
 other witnesses. Mr. Serjeant Best, 
 in behalf of the prisoner, dwelt upon 
 the incredibility of the witnesses. 
 They were characters of no worth — 
 and he urged that the printed papers 
 which were found, were not sufficiently 
 proved to be connected with the pri- 
 soner — that the scheme was too ro- 
 mantic ever to be seriously imagined — 
 there were no arms — not a pike, a 
 pistol, or a rusty musket— in fact, the 
 attempts of the heroes of the Oakly- 
 Arms, as set forth, far exceeded all 
 the wild sallies of Don Quixote. 
 Lord Nelson gave a most excellent 
 character of the prisoner. They were 
 on the Spanish main together — the^ 
 served together, and lie declared hiru 
 to have been a loyal man and a bnive 
 officer. On cross exaniinytion, \\h'
 
 Interesting Xarratices, Enk/mas, Epigrams, Poetry, S;c. 40i? 
 
 lordship said he hid not seen hiin 
 since the year i780. Sir Alured 
 Clarke and Sir Evan Nepean bore 
 testimony of bis having been a zealous 
 officer. Mr. Gurney, the other coun- 
 sel for t!ie prisoner addressed the jury 
 in an able speech ; and the solicitor 
 general haviij;; replied on the part of 
 the cnjwn, L^rd Ellenborough began 
 to sum up nearU as follows : 
 " Gentlemen of the Jury, 
 " The piibonei stands charged with 
 liiab tieason, of three sorts, not very 
 diftVrent in tb=eir nature — 1st, for 
 compassing the dt-aih of the kinj;— 
 next, for compassing to seize his per- 
 •son — and 3clly, for conspiring to de- 
 |iose him. The first of these is trea- 
 son, by the statute ot" Edward III. — 
 the two last by a recent statute of the 
 present reign. — Eight distinct overt 
 acts are stated as evidences of this 
 intention. Gentlemen, the overt acts 
 are the holding conversations for 
 -effecting those malignant purposes of 
 the heart. The defendant's counsel 
 say, that the proof consists only of 
 worJs, aivd that it cannot be treason. 
 If it consisted only of loose words, 
 the ebullition of an irritated or crazy 
 mitid.it would not be treason, because 
 it would be toa much to infer, such a 
 purpose as the destruction of the king 
 from words so spoken. But when 
 words are spoken at a public meeting, 
 and addressed to others, exciting and 
 persuading them to that purpose, it 
 never waS doubted by any one English 
 lawyer — it never will be doubted but 
 that they amount to treason. Ano- 
 ther subject upon which I wish to say 
 a few w-ords is, the nature of evidence 
 by accomplices. That he is a com- 
 petent witness, upon whose testimoay 
 yofc may found a conclusion, cs^nnot 
 be doubted. If it were not so, it 
 would be a dereliction of duty in the 
 judges sitting here, and those who 
 have formerly sit in courts of justice, 
 not to have repelled such witnesses 
 from the oath, and have told the jury 
 that they were not (w, to be ciediled. 
 
 But they are always received ; and 
 although sullied with the contamina- 
 tion of the crime which they inipute 
 to others, they are credible, though 
 their testimony must be received with 
 caution " His lordship here read ver- 
 batim the whole of the evidence taken 
 throughout the day. " Now, gen- 
 tlemen, this is the whole evidence; 
 see how it applies to the charge — 
 first, with respect to an overt act com- 
 mitted within the county ; it is proved 
 at the Oakley Arms, and at the Fly- 
 ing Horse — that point of law is there- 
 fore satisfied. The only remaining 
 consideration is, whether you wdl be- 
 lieve the evidence of Blades, Windsor, 
 Emblyn and Francis, or any of ihem. 
 You have heard the high character 
 given of the prisoner by a man, on 
 whom to pronounce an eulogium were 
 to waste words, but you are to con- 
 sider whether a change has not taken 
 place since the period he speaks of." 
 The jury, after about half an hour's 
 conversation, returned the verdict. 
 Guilty, but earnestly recommended 
 him to mercy, on account of his for- 
 mer good character, and the services 
 he had rendered his country. The 
 prisoner, during the whole trial, ap- 
 peared very composed, nor did he 
 e.xhibit an}- marks of agitation when 
 the verdict was returned. On the 
 following Wednesday, the trial of the 
 twelve other prisoners took place, 
 when the same circumstance?, by 
 chiefly the same witnesses, being re- 
 peated, nine were found guilty, three 
 of whom were recoaimended to mer- 
 cy. The usual question was then 
 asked each separately, " What he had 
 to say that sentence should not be 
 pronounced ?" when Colonel Despard 
 remarked, that he had been tried and 
 convicted on the evidence of such 
 men as ought not to be listened to ; 
 he was charged i^ilh seducing certain 
 soldiers — nothing could be more false; 
 he declared he never had the smallest 
 conversation with them on the sub- 
 
 «J T? O 
 
 \j n »,
 
 404 Literanj Cifrhsitks^ Epitajths, Wonderful Events^ 
 
 joct. Lord EHenboiough, in ast\le 
 of awful solnnnity, highly Infittiiig 
 the inelcinchoi^-, bul ju.st occasuu, 
 nddiesscd tLe prisoners neail}' lo the 
 iollowing purport; — You, Edward 
 JMarcus Despaid- — you, JohnWood — 
 you, 'I'liomas Brougliton — yoo, John 
 Francis — you, Thoinas IS'ewman — > 
 you, Daniel Tjndall — you, James 
 Sedgwick Wiatteii-'-you, William 
 Lander— you, Anthony Graham — 
 land yoiij John IM'Namara, have been 
 severally indicted for conspiring 
 against his majesty's person, his crown 
 and government, for the purposes of 
 subverting the same, and changing 
 the govcriimeiil of this realm. To this 
 indiclnient you have pleaded Not 
 (.iuilty, and put yourselves for trial 
 xipor; God antl your country, which 
 country has found you guilty. Afier 
 a long, patient, and, I hope, just and 
 impartial tiial, you have been all of 
 you severally convicted, by a most 
 respectable jury of your country, 
 upon the several crimes laid to your 
 charge. In the course of evidence 
 upon your trial, such disclosures have 
 been made, as to [irove, beyond the 
 possibility of doubt, that the objects 
 of you^' atrocious, abominable, and 
 traitertxis conspiracy were, to over- 
 throw the government, and to seize 
 upon, and destroy the sacred persons 
 of, our august and reverend sove- 
 reign, and the illustriotis branch- 
 es of his royal housp, which some of 
 you, by the most solemn bond of your 
 uath of allegiance, were pledged, and 
 all of you, as his majesty's subjects, 
 were indis^pensably bound, by your 
 duty, to defend ; to overthrow that 
 constitution, its established freedom, 
 and boated u^agey, ^^hich have so 
 long maintained among us that just 
 and rational equality of rights, and 
 security of property, which have been 
 lor so many ages the envy and ad- 
 miration of the world; and to erect 
 upon its ruins a wild system of anar- 
 chy jEnd bloodshed, having for its 
 
 object the subversion ot ail property, 
 and the massacie of its propriotors : 
 the annihiia'ion of all legislative au- 
 thority and establishcii order — tor 
 such mu;t be tiie import of ih-'-t pro- 
 misi»'hcld out by the leaders of this 
 atrocious conspiracy, of atnple pro- 
 vision for the families of " those heroes 
 who should fall in' thestruggU." The 
 more effectually to ensure success in 
 those evil machinaiions, and to en- 
 courage those who were to be seduced 
 to their support, endeavours have 
 been made by you and your accom- 
 plices to seduce from tlieir allegiance 
 to their sovereign, the soldiers of his 
 majesty — endeavours which, though 
 they appear tu have been in too many 
 instances successful, yet I hope false- 
 ly said to be in that extent stated in 
 evidence. Equally false, I hope has 
 been another assertion, that two- 
 thiidsofthe inhabitants of this country 
 were ready for a change, and pre- 
 pared to support and adopt such 
 measures as were likely to be m«st 
 effectual for obtaining it — a change 
 by which no less was contemplated 
 than (he subversion of all the sources 
 of law, order, and public justice, 
 and the substitution of massacre, 
 anarchy, and all their dire effects. 
 It has, however, pleased that Divine 
 Providence, which has mercifully 
 watched over the safety of this nation, 
 to defeat your wicked and abominable 
 purpose, by arresting your projects 
 in their dark and dangerous progress, 
 and thus averting that danger which 
 your machinations had suspended 
 over our heads; and by your timely 
 detection, seizure, and submittal to 
 public justice, to afford time for the 
 many thousands of his majesty's in- 
 nocent and ioyalsubjects, the intended 
 victims of your atrocious and sangui- 
 nary purpose, to escape that danger 
 which so recently menaced them, and 
 which, 1 trust, is not yet become too 
 formidable for utter defeat. Happily 
 for the families and the persons e^'
 
 Interesting Narratiiea, Eniyma>i, Epigrams^ Poetn/^ S;c, 405 
 
 \our wicked and deluded accomplices 
 your deteclion has in time, I liope, 
 served to avert the calamities in which 
 they would have inevitably involverl 
 themselves, as well as their innocf-nt 
 fellow citizens. The vigilance of that 
 government, unceassingiy directed lo 
 the public security, was not to he 
 eluded by the dark and mysteriou'- 
 secrecy under which you endeavored 
 to mask your wicked designs. Your 
 very endeavors to propagate and pro- 
 mote your projects liave been the 
 sources of your defeat; and thus it 
 has happened, that when you ima- 
 gined your vile purposes to be neaiest 
 their completion, they have been for- 
 tunately discovered by the v*!ry means 
 through which you intended to [)Ut 
 them in execution ; and thus the in- 
 tended victims, who were on the eve 
 of being involved in all the horrors of 
 your projects, have fresh cause to ac- 
 knowledge with gratitude the goodness 
 of that all provident God, who has 
 thus timely, and I hope for ever, put 
 a stop to your diabolical plans. As 
 to you, deluded victims of a desperate 
 and abandoned conspiracy, before I 
 conclude the awful task which re- 
 mains for me to perform, I wish to 
 say a few words to yoa on the enor- 
 mity of those crimes which have 
 brought you to you^j present me- 
 lancholy and ignominious situation. 
 And first, you Edward Marcus Des- 
 pard, in whom the dignified pride of 
 birtb, the advantages of a liberal 
 education, and the habits of inter- 
 course in that rank in which your 
 conduct was once so highly honorable 
 and from whom the testimony borne 
 of your former conduct by the honor- 
 able companions of your earliest 
 pursuits, adduced in this court as 
 witnesses for your character, should 
 have induced us to expect widely 
 different conduct and principle*. 
 How grossly have you misapplied 
 and abused the talents and oppor- 
 ianities, which you enjoyed for 
 
 honorable distinction in society ! and 
 how have you degraded yourself te the 
 association of those unfortunate and 
 wretched coinpanions, by whom you 
 iire now surroiiiKted, in whose igno- 
 minious fate you so justly share, but 
 who are the unhappy victims of your 
 seductive pcisuasion and example. I 
 do nut wish at this awful moment, to 
 urge any thing to you and the de- 
 grading companions by whom you are 
 surrounded, to sharpen the bitterness 
 of your feelings under the ignominy 
 of your fate, but 1 would most earnest- 
 ly and sincerely wish to impress your 
 mind, during the short period ofyour 
 remaining life, with a due sense of 
 your awful situation, and of the cri- 
 minal conduct which has involved 
 you in your present ignominious fate; 
 I would earnestly entreat you zea- 
 lously to endeavour to subdue the 
 callous insensibility of heart, of which 
 in an ill-fated moment, you have 
 boasted, and regain that sanative 
 affection of the mind, which may 
 prepare your soul for that salvation, 
 which, by the infinite mercy of God, 
 I beseech of that God you may obtain. 
 And as to you, other unhappy pri- 
 soners, the wretched victims of his 
 seduction and example, to what a 
 dreadful and igni>minious fate hjue 
 you brought yourselves, and what 
 sorrow and affliction have been en- 
 tailed upon your wretched families, 
 by the atrocity of your crimes, and 
 your purport and sanguinary attempts 
 to subvert that happy constitution 
 and government, under the mild pro- 
 tection of which jou might still have 
 continued to pursue in lustrious avo- 
 cations, and enjoy with comfort the 
 iruits of your honest and peaceful la- 
 bours ; and thp unexampled mildness 
 \(jd merciful tendency of whose laws 
 you have this day experienced, in a 
 ong, a pai'ciit, a fan, and most im« 
 paiti»l trial, belore that respectable 
 and discerning jur,-, who have con- 
 victed you on the Uiost uiicontrovci ted
 
 406 Litei'ai'if C'unositics, Epitaphs', Wonderfid ErentSy 
 
 pvidcncc of your guilt. May the aw- 
 ful aiid impressive e.\ainplK of your 
 untiiiU'ly fale prove a waminj^ to y<'Ui 
 wicked •dssocialt^s and accomplices in 
 every q'., '.J ter of this realm, anfl in- 
 <itice them to abandon those machi- 
 nations which have brought you to 
 this disgraci'ful catastrophe; May 
 thev learn to avoid your fate by 
 cultivating the blessings of th.at con- 
 fttitijtioii which you have calumniated 
 and endeavored to subvert; and b\ 
 pursuing their honest and industrious 
 avocations, and avoiding polilica' 
 cabals and seditious con>>piracies 
 avoid also ihosedicadful consequences 
 ill which ihey themselves would m-isl 
 piobably be among the first victims. 
 The same CHrncst advice I have just 
 given your unfortunate leader and 
 ;-o(lucer, I now ofler to you, which is 
 to make the best use of the short 
 period of life now remaining, to make 
 \oi'.> peace wiih an ofTended God for 
 your crimes, and seek mercy in 
 another life, which the interest of 
 your fellow-creatures will not suffer 
 to be extended to you here ! 
 
 The only thing remaining for me, 
 is the painful task of prono«ncing 
 against you, and each of you, the 
 awful sentence which the law de- 
 nounces against youi crime, which is, 
 that you and each of you (here his 
 lordship named the prisoners severally) 
 be taken to the place from whence you 
 came, and from thence you are to be 
 drawn on hurdles to the place of exe- 
 cution, where you are to be hanged 
 by the neck, but not until you are 
 dead, for while you are still living 
 your bodies arc to be taken down, 
 your bowels torn out and burnt before 
 your faces ; your heads are to be then 
 cut ofT, and your bodies divided each 
 into four quarters, and your heads 
 and quarters to be then at the king's 
 disposal; and may the AlmiglMy God 
 have mercy on your souls!" 
 
 On Saturday afternoon, February 
 IQ, ISOG, was icccived the informa- 
 
 tion lliat the warrant for execution, 
 to take pliico on the following Mon- 
 day, was made out. It was sen* to 
 the keeper of the New Gaol in the 
 Borough, at six o'clock on Saturday 
 evening, and included the tnnies of 
 Col. Despard. Thomas Broughton, 
 John Francis, Arthur Grahau), John 
 Macnamara, John Wood, and James 
 Sedgwick VV ratten; the three other 
 prisoners, Newuian, Tyndal, and Lan- 
 der, recommended by the jury to 
 mercy have been respited. As soon 
 as the warrant for execution was re- 
 ceived, it was communicated to the 
 U'happy persons by the keeper of the 
 prison, with as much humanity as 
 the awful nature of tl.e case required. 
 We believe it was expected by all — ■ 
 by all it was received with resignation 
 and fortitude. Col. Despard observed, 
 upon its being communicated to him, 
 that the time was short; yet he had 
 not had, from the first, any strong 
 expectation that the recommendation 
 of the jury would be effectual. The 
 meditation of Lord Nelson, and a 
 petition to the Crown, were tried, but 
 Col, Despard was convinced, accord- 
 ing to report, that they would be un- 
 availing. From the moment of his 
 conviction, he had begun to prepare 
 himself for that last moment that was 
 to close all sublunary scenes upon him 
 for ever! During the whole of the 
 interval between the period of the 
 passing and the executing his sentence, 
 lie behaved with composure. — Much 
 of his time was employed in writing, 
 some in reading, and the greater part 
 with his wife, Mrs. Despard. Soon 
 after the warrant was reeeived, all 
 papers, and every thing he possessed, 
 were innnediately taken from the 
 colonel. He was strictly seajched, to 
 discover whether he i»ad any knife or 
 means of self destruction concealed 
 about him, and every thing that was 
 thought might enable him to put an 
 end to his existence, was conveyed out 
 of Ins reach. Thfie is no reas.on to
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enifpnas, Epigrams^ Poetry^ Sfc. 407 
 
 suppose he had t[;e sti-rhtest design of 
 committing suicide ; but these are the 
 usual and necessHry precautionary 
 measures. Mrs. Despard was greatly 
 affected when she first heard his fate 
 \ras sealed, but afterwards recovered 
 her fortitude. ^\ccompanied by ano- 
 ther l<idy, slie had a last interview j 
 with him on the Sunday preceding his j 
 execution, about three o'clock. The \ 
 Jady wept bitterly, but first Mrs. j 
 Despard, and then the colonel, re- 
 proached her with her weakness. 
 Mr. and Mrs. Despard bore up with 
 great firmness, even inpartir.g; and 
 when she got into a coach, as it tJrove 
 off she waved her handkerchief out 
 of the window. The other prisoners 
 bore their tale with equal hardihood, 
 but conducted themselves with less 
 solemnity than the colonel. — Their 
 wives, ttc. were allowed to tnke a 
 farewell of them on the same day, 
 and the scene was truly distressing ! 
 Five of these men attended on Sunday 
 morning a chapel within the goal, 
 used for its iuiiabitants only. Mac- 
 namara being a Roman Catholic, did 
 not attend ; neither did the colonel, 
 who had constantly refust-d the assist- 
 ance of a clergyman. At day-light 
 on Sunday morning, the <lrop, scaf- 
 fold, and gallows, on which they 
 were to be executed, were erected on 
 the top of the gaol. The erection 
 of {he apparatus of death gave full 
 iirformation of llie approachiiig event, 
 and great crowds continued to arrive 
 and retire, viewing the place the 
 whole day. All the Bow-street pa- 
 trole, and many oiber peace-officers 
 were on duty all day and iiight, and 
 the military near London «ere drawn 
 up close to it. I\irs. Despard, after 
 having taken leave of her husband 
 at three in the afternoon, came 
 again about five o'clock but it was 
 lhou;;ht adviseable to spare the colo- 
 nel the pangs of a second parting. 
 and .she was therefore not admitted 
 into the prison, She evinced sonse 
 
 indignatirn at the refusal, and ex- 
 pressed a strong opinion with respect 
 to the cause for which her hushand 
 was to suffer. After Mrs. D. had 
 left the colonel, at three o'clock, he 
 walked up and dowr his cell for some 
 time, seemingly more agitated than 
 he had been at the period of taking 
 leave of his wife. Between six and 
 seven in the evening he threw himself 
 on the bed, and fell into a short sleep. 
 At eight o'clock he awok(, and ad- 
 dressed one of ihe < fhcers of tlie pri- 
 son, who was with him, in these 
 words: — " Me — th?y shall receive no 
 information from me — no, not for all 
 the gifts, the gold, and jewels in the 
 possession of the crown !" He then 
 composed himself, and remained si- 
 lent. Tliese expressions miglit induce 
 some to suppose tiiat endeavours had 
 been made to prevail upon him to 
 make disclosures. Whether this was 
 the case or not, we are not able to 
 say. Sir Richard Ford was at tie 
 prison on Sunday, and we believe saw 
 i the coloi:el and all the other [irisoners 
 ^-bul we have not heard that his visit 
 had for its object to induce them to 
 make any confessions, in the course 
 of the evening, the colonel was visited 
 by his solicitor, who came to ask hitu 
 where he wished to be buried ? He 
 was silent for some minutes — and at 
 length replied, he believed several of 
 his countrst^.ienwere buried at Pitncfas 
 — he therefore desired to be buritd 
 there. When Mr. Ives went to com- 
 municate the warrant for execution to 
 two of the prisoners. Wood and Gra- 
 ham, they said they wished to have 
 some conversation wi(h him. On 
 Sunday evening he went to them, at- 
 tended by the clergy mHU, Mr. Wink- 
 worth. — Graham then entered into a 
 Ions conversation with him, upon the 
 motives of the meeting at the public- 
 house where they were a))prtfhcijded; 
 ! but we do not learn that he threw any 
 i new light upon the subject, or made 
 j any discoveries of imj orlauce, — My<»
 
 40s Literarn Curiosities^ Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events^ 
 
 DamaA spent the whole of the nij^ht fi 
 in praver. The Roman Catholic prie.-t 
 ieft him at a late hour of the nit^lit, 
 and came ajjain early in the morning, 
 Graham, Wratten,and another (Wood 
 we believe) were the i: renter part of 
 the night engaged in a himilar manner. 
 Theyuere dissenter*— Broughfon and 
 Francis were protestants. Col. Des- 
 pard slept from three to half-past four; 
 the remainder of the ni^ht he passed 
 hi walking up and down his ceH. The 
 rest of the prisoners slept about two 
 hours. All the arrangements for the 
 execution were settled on Sunday, by 
 Sir Richard Ford, and the sherift's of 
 Surry, with the government and the 
 njagibtrates. Sit Richard slept that 
 night at Mr. Smith's, in order to be 
 near the prison. At four o'clock the 
 following morning, Monday, February 
 2 1 , the drum beat at the horse-guards, 
 as a signal for the cavalry to assemble. 
 We understand tliat four regiments 
 were on duty. Two troops of horse 
 were stationed at the Obelisk ; others 
 patioled the roads from the Obelisk 
 to the Elephant and Castle, and down 
 the Borough road. The military oc- 
 cupied their station as soon as it was 
 day-light. It was not till past five 
 o'clock that persons began to pour in 
 anj numbers along the Westminster 
 and city roads to Horsemongor-iane. 
 At half-past six the prison bell rung, 
 the signal for unlocking the cells. 
 Mr. Wiukworth, the clergyman, and 
 INlr. Griffith, the Roman Catfaolic 
 priest (the same gentleman who attend- 
 ed Qnigley when he was executed) 
 came to the prison and were immedi- 
 ately admitted to the prisoners. At 
 seven o'ijock five of them, Broughton, 
 Francis, Grah;im, Wood, and Wrat- 
 ten, went into tiie chapel. They at- 
 teE)ded to the prayers with great ear- 
 ipestness, but at the same time without 
 ?eeming to lose that tirn.tjess the> had 
 displa}td since their trial. Before 
 they received the sacranjent, four of 
 them confessed they had done wrong, 
 
 but not to the extent charged against 
 them by the evidence. The tiftb, 
 Graham, said he was iniiocent of the 
 charges brought against him, but had 
 attended two meetings, the second at 
 the instigation of Francis. It was 
 Eniblyn, he added, who called on 
 him to go to the meeting, by Francis's 
 desire. For some time the clergyman 
 tefused to administer tlie sacrament 
 to Francis, because he persisted in de- 
 claring he had been guilty of no crime. 
 The clergyman said -to him, " You 
 admit you attended meetings'?" He 
 replied, •' Yes." " You knew they 
 weie for the purpose of overturning 
 the consiitutionand government of the 
 country. I by no means wish you to 
 enter into particulars, I only wish 
 you to acknowledge generally." 
 Francis then smiled (it seemed to be 
 the natural character of his counte- 
 nance) and answered, I admit I have 
 done wrong in attending those meet^ 
 ings." The clergyman then asked 
 each of them " how they found them- . 
 selves?" Francis, Wood, Broughton, 
 and Wratten said, " they were never 
 happier in their lives." Graham re- 
 mained silent. The sacrament was 
 then administered to them. The ser- 
 vice in the chapel lasted three quarters 
 of an hour. Before it was all over. 
 Col. Despard and Macnamara were 
 brought down from their cells; their 
 irons were knocked off, and their arms 
 and hands bound \vith ropes. Des- 
 pard walked up ai>d down before the 
 chapel door, but did not enter the 
 chapel. Macnamara walked about 
 in earnest conversation with the Roman 
 Catholic priest, and with a book in 
 his hand. Whilst Despard was at the 
 chapel door, the sheriff (Pepper) ad- 
 dressed hinjself very humanely to him, 
 and asked him if he could render him 
 any service. The colonel thanked him, 
 and replied that he could not. The 
 sheriff added something in a low lone 
 of voice, it is supposed related to Mr.^. 
 Despard. Whilst t^e clergyman was
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, 8fc. 409 
 
 jrone out of the chapel to prepare for 
 the sacrament, the five prisoners in 
 the chapel rose, on hearing the colo- 
 Ticl's irons being knocked oft'. The 
 t'xccutioner then tied their arms and 
 hands in the same manner as he had 
 before bound the colonel and Mac- 
 namarA. Notice was then given to 
 the sherift' that they were ready. I'he 
 colonel, who sloo<l the first, retired 
 behind, and mohoned to Fiancis t^who 
 was making way for him) to go befure 
 liim. It is the body of a small cart, 
 on which two trusses of clean straw 
 are laid : it was drawn by two hoises. 
 'I'he procession moved in the follow- 
 ing order : 
 
 The sheriff of Surrey, 
 
 The clergyman inhisgown, 
 
 Mr.lves,the keeper, with a white wand, 
 
 High constable. 
 
 Other constables. 
 
 The executioner with a drawn sword. 
 
 Macnamara and Graham were first 
 put into the hvirdle, and drawn to the 
 lodge, were the inner gates were 
 opened, and they were conveyed to 
 the stair-case that leads up to the 
 scalTold. The hurdle then returned, 
 and brought 
 
 Broughton and Wratten, 
 
 then 
 
 Wood and Francis. 
 
 Last of all, Col. Desnard was put in 
 
 it alone. 
 
 Macnamara seemed intent upon the 
 book in his hand. Graham remained 
 silent. Broughton jumped into the 
 hurdle, smiled, and looked up to the 
 scaffold. \Vood and Francis both 
 smiled, and they all surveyed the aw- 
 ful scene with much composure. Des- 
 pard shook hands with a gentleman, 
 as he got into the hurdle, and looked 
 up to the scaffold with a smile. As 
 soon as they had all been conveyed in 
 the hurdle to the stair-case that leads 
 to the scaffold, they were escorted 
 up one by one— the sheriff, Sir R. 
 
 Ford, the clergyman, Mr.Winkivorth, 
 and the Roman Catholic clergyman, 
 Mr. GrifTith, preceding them. Seven 
 coffins, or shells, which had been pre- 
 viously placed in a room under the 
 scaffold, were brought up and placed 
 on the platform, on which the drop 
 was erected. A bag of saw-dust, to 
 catch the blood when the heads were 
 severed fiom their bodies, was placed 
 beside them. --The block was near 
 the scaflbld. There were about 100 
 spectators on the platform. Th© 
 greatest order and silence were ob- 
 seived. As soon as the prisoners 
 were placed on the hurdle, St. George s 
 bell tolled for some time. It was 
 about half-past eight when the pri- 
 soners were brought up to the scaffold 
 one by one. As soon as the cord was 
 fastened round the neck of one, the 
 second was brought up, and so on till 
 the cords were fastened round the 
 necks of all the seven. Macnamara 
 was first brought up ; he still held a 
 book in his hand; and when the cord 
 was placed round his neck, he ex- 
 claimed, with the greatest devotion, 
 " Lord Jesus have mercy upon me ! 
 Oh, Lord, look down with pity 
 upon me !" Grahain came second; 
 he looked pale and ghastly, but spoke 
 not. Wrattan was the third : he as- 
 scended the scaflold with much firm- 
 ness. Broughton, the fourth, smiled 
 as he ran up the scaffold stairs, but 
 as soon as the rope was fastened round 
 his neck he turned pale, and smiled 
 no more. He joined in praytr with 
 much earnestness. Wood was the 
 fifth — Francis the sixth. Francis 
 ascended the scaffold with a compo- 
 suie, which he preserved to the last. 
 Wood and Broughton were equally 
 composed. Of all of them, Francis 
 was the best looking — tall, handsome 
 and well made. He and Wood were 
 dressed in soldier's uniform; t lie rest 
 were in coloured clothes. Colonel 
 Despard was brought up the last, 
 dressed in boots, a dark brown great 
 3 G
 
 4 10 Literary Cnr'iosHtrs^ Ep'itaphs^ M'onderfid Erents^ 
 
 roat, his hair uiipowdored ; he as- 
 cended the scaffold with great hnn- 
 iiess. and his counleirance underwent 
 nkit the shi;htest cliange, while the 
 jiwfiil ceremony of fastening the rope 
 round his nock, and placing the cap on 
 his head, was perforajins; ; he lo vked 
 at the multitude assembled, with per- 
 j'ect calmness. The cleriiyman, who 
 ascended the scaffold after the pri- 
 soners were tied up, spoke to him a 
 few words as lie passed. Tiie colonel 
 bowed, and thanked liim. The cere- 
 mony of fastening the prisoners being 
 finished, the colonel advanced as near 
 as he could to the edge of the scaf- 
 fold, and made the following speech 
 to the multitude: — 
 
 "fELLOW CITIZENS," 
 
 " I COME here as you see, after 
 having served Hiy country — faithfully, 
 honourably, and usefully served it, 
 for thirty years and upwards, to suffer 
 death upon a scaffold, for a crime of 
 which I protest I am not guilty. I 
 solemnly declare that I nm no more 
 guilty of it than any of you who may 
 be now hearing me: But though his 
 majesty's ministers know as well as I 
 do, tiiat I am not guilty, yet they 
 avail themselves of a legal pretext to 
 destroy a man, because he has been 
 a friend to truth, to liberty, and jus- 
 tice, (rhere was a considerable huzza 
 from j)art of the populace the nearest 
 to him, but who, from the height of 
 the scaffold from the ground, could 
 not, for a certainty, distinctly hear 
 what was said. The colonel proceeded) 
 because he has been a friend lo the 
 poor and distressed. But, citizens, 
 I hope and trust, notwithstanding my 
 fate, and the fate of those, who iiw 
 doubt will soon follow me, that the 
 principles of freedom, of humanity, 
 and of justice, will finally triumph 
 over falsehood, tyranny, and delusion, 
 and every principle hostile to the in- 
 terests of the human race. And now 
 liaving said this, I have a little more 
 to add. (The colonel's voice seemed 
 
 to falter a little here— ^lie paused a 
 moment, as if he had meant to say 
 sonietlsisig more, but had forgotten it. 
 He then concluded in the following 
 manner:) I have little more to add, 
 except to wish ytm all health, happi- 
 ness, and I'reedom, which I ha\e en- 
 deavoured, as far as was in my power> 
 to procure for you, and for mankind 
 in genera!." 
 
 The colonel spoke iu a firm and au- 
 dible tone of voice ; lie left off sooner 
 than was expected. There was no 
 public expression, either of approba- 
 tion or disapprobation given when he 
 had concluded his address. As soon 
 as the colonel had ceast'd speaking, 
 the clergyman prayed with five of the 
 prisoners. Macnamara prayed ear- 
 nestly with the clergyman of his own 
 persuasion. Despard surveyed the 
 populace, and made a short answer, 
 which was not distinctly heard, to some 
 few words addressed to him by Fran- 
 cis, who was next him. The clergy- 
 man now shook hands with each of 
 them. Colonel Despard bowed, and 
 seemed to thank him as he shook 
 hands with him. Tlie executioners 
 pulled the caps over the faces of the 
 unhappy persons, and descended the 
 scaffold. Most of them exclaimed, 
 "Lord Jesus receive our souls!" 
 The last and most dreadful })art of 
 the ceremony was now to be performed 
 The most awful silence prevailed, and 
 the thousands present, all with one 
 accord, stood uncoveretl. At seven 
 minutes before nine o'clock, the signal 
 was given, the platform dropped, and 
 they were all launched into eternity ! ! 
 The colonel had not one struggle ; 
 twice he opened and clenched his 
 hands together convulsively—hc stirred 
 no more. Macnamara, Graham, 
 Wood, and Wratten, were motionless 
 after a few struggles. Bmughton and 
 Francis struggled violently for some 
 moments after all the rest were without 
 motion. The executioner pulled 
 their legs, to put an end to their pain 
 more speedily. After hauging about
 
 Interesting Narrat'ivess, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, 8^c. 411 
 
 half «n liour until ihey were quite 
 dead, they were cut down. Colonel 
 Despard was tifbt cut down, his body 
 placed upon saw-dust, and his head 
 upon a block; after his coat had been 
 taken oft", his head was severed from 
 Jiis body, bv persons engaged on pur- 
 pose to perforin that ceremony. Tlie 
 executiiMier then took the head by the 
 hair, and carrying it to the edge of the 
 parapet on the right hand, held it i\\^ 
 to the view of the populace, and ex- 
 claimed, "This is the liea<l of a trai- 
 tor, Edward Marcus Despard." The 
 same ceremony was performed on the 
 parapet at the left hand. There was 
 some hooting and hissing when the co- 
 lonel's Lead was exhibited. His re- 
 mains were now put into the shell that 
 had been prepared for them. The 
 other prisoners were then cut down, 
 their heads severed from their bodies, 
 and exhibited to the populace, with 
 the same exclamation of, ** This is the 
 head of another traitor." The bodies 
 were then put into their different shells, 
 and delivered to their friends for in- 
 tertuent. The populace were struck 
 with the appearance of Macnamara, 
 who, on ascending the scaffold, bowed. 
 Many of them were acquainted with 
 him. Tliey pitied the situation of his 
 wife, to whom he had been married 
 but a short time. It was at first 
 thought he was Colonel Despard. 
 The crowd at the entrance of horse- 
 raonger-lane was immense; as the 
 time of execution drew near, the 
 people from all parts came with such 
 force as to bear down all opposition. 
 Those who had been in dry situations, 
 were pushed into the middle of the 
 road, where they stood almost up to 
 the knees in mud. Several lost their 
 shoes by the continual pushing and 
 jostling. Many fainted, both men 
 and women ; of the latter, however 
 their were but few. While the heads 
 were exhibiting, the populace took off 
 their hats. The execution was over 
 by ten o'clock, and the populace soon 
 after dispersed quietly. There was 
 
 not the least tendency to riot or dis^ 
 furbance. The precautions, however 
 taken by government, were certainJy 
 proper. A sky-rocket was sent to the 
 keeper of the prison, to be let off, as 
 a signal to the military, in case of any 
 disturbance. The body of Colonel 
 Despiird having lain at mount-row, 
 opposite tlie asylum, was taken away 
 on the first of March, by his friends, 
 with a heurse and three mourning 
 coaclies, and inferred near (he north- 
 door of St. Patd's cathedral, St, Paul's 
 church-yard. The crowd was great : 
 but when the grave was cohered in, 
 the people immediately and quietly 
 dispersed. The city-marshal was pre- 
 sent, lest there should be any distuib- 
 ance on the occasion. 
 
 Epitaph on Mr. Thonws All. 
 
 READHR beneath this marble lies 
 All that VA'as nol>!e, good and wise ; 
 All that once was form'd oa eartli. 
 All tliat was of mortal birth ; 
 All 'hat livd above the ground, 
 May within this grave be fonad : 
 If you have lost or great or small. 
 Come here and weep, for here lies All ; 
 Then smile at death, enjoy your mirth, 
 Since he has took his All from earth. 
 
 The enormous A^ose. 
 
 A GENTLEMAN who possessed a 
 much larger quantity of nose than 
 nature usually bestows upon an indi- 
 vidual, ceiitiived to make it more 
 enormous by his invincible attaciiment 
 to the bottle, which also beset it with 
 emeralds and rubies. To add to his 
 misfortunes, this honest toper's face 
 was sontewhat disfigured by not hav- 
 ing a regular pair of eyes; one being 
 black, and the other of a reddish hue. 
 A peison happening once to observe, 
 that his eyes were not jeUows, con- 
 gratulated him on that circun»stauce. 
 The rosey-gilled olxl tipler demandeil 
 the reason ; " BeeaHse," replied the 
 jocular genius, " if your eves had 
 been matches, your nose would cer^ 
 tainly have set them in a flame, and a 
 dreadful conflagration might hav»» 
 been apprehended." 
 a<5 2
 
 4l2 Literarif Curiosit'ies ^Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Paper. A Poem by Dr. Franklin. 
 
 SOME wit of old— such wits of old there 
 
 were- 
 Whose hints «hnw'd meaDing, whose alln- 
 
 sions care ; 
 By one brave strolie to mark all human 
 
 kind, 
 Call'd clear blank paper ev'ry infant mind ; 
 When-stiil, as opening sense her dictates 
 
 wrote, 
 Fair virtue put a seal, or vice a blot. 
 
 The thonght was happy, pertiueat and 
 true ; 
 Methinks a genius migkt the plan pQreae. 
 I (can you pardon my presumption) I — 
 No wit, no genius, yet for once will try. 
 
 Various the papers various wants pro- 
 duce, 
 The wants of fashion, elegance and use. 
 Wen are as various : and, if right I scan, 
 Each sort of paper represents some mari. 
 
 Pray note the fop— half ponder and half 
 lace- 
 Nice as a band-box werehis dwelling-place: 
 He's the gilt-paper, which apart you storS, 
 And lock from vulgar hands in th 'scrutoire. 
 
 Mechanics, servants, farmers, and so forth, 
 Are copy-paper of inferior worth ; 
 Lesspriz'd, more useful, for your desk de- 
 creed, 
 Free to all pens, and prompt at ev'ry need. 
 
 The wretch, whom av'riee bids to pinch 
 
 and spare, 
 Starve, cheat, and pilfer, to enrich an heir, 
 Is coarse brown paper ; such as j)edlar5 
 
 choose 
 To wrap up wares, which better ra»n will 
 
 use. 
 
 Take next the miser's contrast ,who de,«( roys 
 Health, fame, and fortune, in a round of joys. 
 Wjllaay paper match him? Yes.throufjhout, 
 He's a true xinking-paper, past all doubt. 
 
 The retai! politician's aiixi:>us thought 
 Deems f/i«.s\side always right, and that stark 
 
 nought; 
 He foams with censure : with applause he 
 
 raves — 
 A dupe to rumours, and a tool of knaves ; 
 He'll want no type his weakness to proclaim , 
 While such a thing as/oo's-cap has a uame. 
 
 The hasty gentleman, whose blood runs 
 high, 
 VTho picks a quarrel, if you ste)) awry, 
 Who cau'/ ajest, or hint, or look endure : 
 What's he ? What ? TuucU-paper to iie sure 
 
 What are your poets, take them as they 
 
 fall. 
 Good, bad, rich, poor, much read, not read 
 
 at all - 
 Them and their works in the same class 
 
 you'll lind ; 
 They are (he mere waste-paper of mankind. 
 
 Observe the maiden, innocently sweet. 
 
 Sk^'ti faiv xrhite-paper, an inisullied sheet ; 
 
 On which the happy man, whom fate ordains 
 
 May write his name, and take her for his 
 
 pains. 
 
 One instance more, and only one ]'IJ 
 bring; 
 'Tisthe greatman whoscornsa little thing, 
 Whose thoughts, whose deeds, whose max- 
 ims are his own, 
 Form'd on the feelings of his heart alone: 
 The genuine royal-paper is his breast ; 
 Of all the kinds most precious, purest, best , 
 
 A curious Advertisement. 
 
 I (iEORGE Ridler, near Struud, irj 
 the County of Gloster, Broadweaver 
 ■At the (lesier of people hereabot dt> 
 give Nautis That I have Inockilafed 
 these too seazons past betweene 2 and 
 300 for the Smale Pox and but too 
 or three of them have died — A Many 
 |)eepel be a fcard of the thing but 
 evaith it is No More than than 
 Scratlin a bit of a haul in their Yarm 
 A pushin in a peece of Skraped rag 
 dipt in Sum of the Pocky ]Matter of 
 Child under the distemper — That 
 Every Body in the Nashion may be 
 sarved I Will God Willin Undertake 
 to Inockillat them with the pervizer 
 they will take loo Purges beforehand 
 and loose a little blud away, for half 
 a Crown a head ; And I will be bound 
 too say Noo body goes beyond me. 
 
 NB. Poor Volk at a Shillin a head 
 but all muit pay for the purge. 
 
 Properties of a Gardener. 
 
 QUESTION.— Why is a gardener 
 the most extraordinary man in the 
 world ? 
 
 Alls. — Because no man has more 
 business upon earth, and always 
 chooses good grounds forwhat he does. 
 He commands his thyme, he is mas- 
 ter of his mint, and fingers penny- 
 royal, lie raiselh his salary every 
 year, and it is a bad year indeed that 
 does not produce a plum. He meets 
 with more boughs than a minister of 
 stale. He makes more beds than the 
 French king, and has in them more
 
 Interesting Narratices^ Ent'f/mas, Epigrams, Poetry, Sfc. 413 
 
 painted ladies: and more genuine 
 roses and iillies tiian aie to be found 
 at a country wake, lie makes raking 
 his business more than his diversion, 
 as many other gentlemen do; but he 
 makes it an advantage to his health 
 and fortune, which few others do, 
 He can boast more rapes than any 
 other rake in the kingdom. His wife, 
 notwithstanding, has enough of lad's- 
 love and hearl's-ease, and never wishes 
 for weeds. Distempers tatal to others 
 never hurt him. lie walks the bette: 
 for the gravel, and thiives nio^t in a 
 consumption. He can boast of more 
 bleeding hearts than your iiulysliip, 
 and more laurels (if possible) th^n 
 Frederic^v HI. King o_f Prussia; but 
 his greatest pride, and the world's 
 envy is, he can have yew when he 
 pleases. 
 
 Pathttic Narration. 
 
 SOME time ago, two poor indus- 
 trious shoemakers and a woman (the 
 wife of a shoemaker) went from Elgin 
 to Granten-market, Scotland, a dis- 
 tance of 33 miles, with a few shoes in 
 wallets on their backs. Having sold 
 their goods, on their return by the 
 JVfannoch road, they were overtaken 
 in that long, dreary and desolate hill, 
 far from any human habitation, by 
 a terrible snow storm. Exhausted 
 by the depth of snow on the road and 
 the fury of the elements, no pitying 
 eye or helping hand near them, they 
 seemed to have crowded together in 
 a hollow place on the road side, and 
 sat down, benumbed with cold, for 
 rest or shelter: here they had been 
 overpowered by sleep, and death came 
 to close the trouble scene! A coun- 
 tryman passing along the same road 
 the next morning, struck with horror 
 on observing a hand and foot pointing 
 through a wreath of snow, ran back 
 a mile and a half to the nearest house 
 and brought assistance, to dig the 
 three unfortunates from their dreadful 
 grave. Inforniatlon being scut to 
 
 Elgin (six miles off.) a party of men 
 with a hearse went to bring home 
 their bodies to their sorrowing rela- 
 tions. Ihus, three poor families were 
 at once thrown on the compassion 
 and bounty of the public ; and it is 
 with much pleasure we record the 
 liberality of the ihhabilants of Elgin, 
 who contributed 100 guineas towards 
 their supjjoi t. 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 THE writer of a modern bo«k of 
 travels, relatirg the particulars of his 
 being cast away, thus concludes: — 
 "After having walked eleven hours 
 without tracing the print of a hunianr 
 foot, to my great coinfoi't and delight 
 I '■aw a man hanging upon a gibbet ; 
 my pleasure at this cheering prospect 
 was inexpiessible, for it convinced 
 me, I was in a civilized country. 
 
 An extraordinary Being. 
 
 IN i5P9, the Marshal de Reannio- 
 nier was hur»tjng one day in the forest 
 of Rlaine, when his servants brought 
 to him a man of an extraordinary 
 appeatance, whom they had taken 
 asleep in a thicket: on liis foreiiead 
 grew two horns exactly resembling 
 those of a ram; his head was bald, 
 and his beard red and woolly, as sa- 
 tyrs are represented. The circum- 
 stance was so singular, that ti ey in- 
 stantly quitted the chace, and con- 
 duct* d the man to Pans ; where, after 
 gratifying the court, he was given to 
 a showman or keeper of wild beasts. 
 His vexation at being exposed to pub- 
 lic view in the neighbouring fairs and 
 markets was so extieine, that he lived 
 only three months, and whs buried in 
 the church-yard of St. Come, ihe 
 turn of his epitaph has little to re 
 commend k, but probably at that 
 time it did net want admirers. 
 
 NciT this I'oot-worn path is laid, 
 A cutttold strauge whom nature made; 
 Horns he wore, yn iKid uo wire; 
 Prav for bis ftiiss ia future life.
 
 414 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Cfiimnies. 
 TN 1200, they were scarcely Imowii 
 in England, one only was allowed in 
 a religious house, one in a manor 
 ditto, one in the great hail of a castle, 
 or lord's house -but in other houses 
 they had nothing; but what was called 
 Rere Dosse, where their fond was 
 dressed, where they dined, and the 
 &nioke found its way out as it could 
 In King Henry the VIIl.'s time the 
 university at Oxford had no tire al- 
 lowed, for it is mentioned, thai sfier 
 the stewards had supped, which took 
 place at eight o'clock, they went 
 again to their studies till nine, and 
 then ii\ the winter, they having no 
 fire, they were obliged to take a good 
 run for half an hour, to get heat in 
 their feet before they went to bed. 
 
 Si7igular Entertainment given to the 
 French King Charles XI. ajtcr 
 Hunting. 
 
 CHARLES XI. attended by his 
 court, had been hunting in tlie neigh- 
 bourhood of Carcassone. After the 
 stag had been taken, a gentleman of 
 the neighbourhood invited the king to 
 a dinner which he had provided for 
 him. At the conclusion of the ban- 
 quet, the ceiling of the hall suddenly 
 opened, a thick cloud descended and 
 burst over their heads like a storm of 
 thunder; pouring forth a shower of 
 sugar phunbs instead of hail, and 
 was sticceeded by a gentle rain of 
 rose water. 
 
 (Vise arid remarhabh Sayings of 
 t'inintnt Men. 
 
 AGESILAUS, king of Sparta, be- 
 ing asked wiiat things he thought 
 most proper ior boys to learn, ans- 
 wered, ' Those thingswhich they ought 
 lo jniicticewhen they come lo be nun,' 
 A wiser than Age.silaus has jnculcatfd 
 the snme sentinienl; 'Tiain up a child/ 
 said SohTmon, 'in tlie way he should 
 go, and when lie his old he will not 
 depart frowi it.' 
 
 An Italian philosopher expressed in 
 his motto, that time was his estate! 
 an estate indeed which will produce 
 nothing with cultivation, but which 
 will aluays abundantly repay the la- 
 hours of industry, and satisfv the 
 most extensive desires, if no part of 
 it be suffered to lie waste by negli- 
 iience, to be overrun witii noxious 
 plants, or laid out fur show rather 
 than use. 
 
 When Aristotle was asked what a 
 man could gain by telling a falsehood, 
 he replied, 'Never to be believedwhen 
 he speaks the truth,' 
 
 Sully, the great statesmen and min- 
 ister to Henry IV. king of France, 
 always retained at his tabic, in his 
 most prosperous days, the same fru- 
 gality to which he had been accustom- 
 ed in early life. He was fiequenlly 
 repro:iched by the courlieis for this 
 simplicity; but he used to reply to 
 them, in the words of an ancient phi- 
 losopher: 'If the guests be men of 
 sense, there is sufficient for them; if 
 thev be not, 1 can very well dispense 
 with their com])any.' 
 
 Til us, the Roman emperor, recol- 
 lecting at supper, that he had not 
 done any act of public utility during 
 the day, said to those who were with 
 him, 'My friends, I have lost a day.' 
 
 Antoninus Pius, the Roman empe- 
 ror, was an amiable man and good 
 prince. When some of his courtiers 
 attempted to inflnence him with a 
 passion for military glory, he auswer- 
 eil, tliat he more desired the preser- 
 vaiion of one subject than the de^truc- 
 lion of a thousand enemies. 
 
 iMon are too often ingenious in ma- 
 king theniselvos miserable, by aggra- 
 vating to their own faiicv, all the evils 
 whicli they endure. They compare 
 Ihemsclves with none but those whom 
 they imagine to be more hapjiy; and 
 complain that upon them alone has 
 fallen the whole load of human sor- 
 rows. 'I will restore Ihy daughter 
 again to life/ 'said an eastern sage to a
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, ^c. 415 
 
 prince who grieved immoderately tbrU 
 the loss of a beloved child, provided 
 tliou art able to engrave on her tomb 
 the iiiimes of three persons who have 
 never mourned.' The prince made 
 inquiry afler siiclj perx^ns ; but found 
 the inquiry vain, and was silent. 
 
 Quetn Mary. 
 
 IM AR Y possessed few qualities either 
 ebtiniablt-- or amiable, :u)il iier person 
 wjs as little engaging; as hi r behaviour 
 and address. Obstinacy, bigotry, 
 violence, cruelty, malignity, revenge, 
 txranny; every circumstance of ht-r 
 character took a tincture from her 
 bail tenij)er and narrow understand- 
 ing. 
 
 And amid that complication of 
 vices, which entert'd into her compo- 
 sition, we shall scarcely find any virtue 
 but sincerity; a quality which «he 
 seems to have uiaintained throughout 
 her whole life; e.\cej)t in tlie begin- 
 xmvz of her reign, when the necessity 
 of her ttftaiis obliged her to make 
 some promises to (he Protestants, 
 which she never intended to perform. 
 But in these cases a weak bigoted wo- 
 man, under the gnvernment of priests, 
 easily finds casuistry sufHciont to jus- 
 tify to herself the violation of an en- 
 gaijement. 
 
 She appears also, as well as her fa- 
 ther, to have been susceptible of 
 some attachment of friendship ; and 
 that without caprice and inconstancy, 
 which were so remarkable in the con- 
 duct of that monarch. To which we 
 may add, that in many circumstances 
 of her life she gave indications of re- 
 solution and vigour of mind ; a quality 
 which seems to have been inherent in 
 her family. 
 
 iNIary died November the 17tb, 
 1558, in the forty-third year of her 
 age, and sixth of her reign. 
 
 Anecdote of Nat/ianisl 3Ionks. 
 NATHANIEL Monks, the famous 
 cock'-fighter, being on a Sunday at 
 
 Dean church, near Bolton, Lancashire, 
 and falling asleep in the middle of the 
 sernioH, the beadle tapped him on the 
 shoulder, wheti Monks, who was then 
 in a dream, rose up, and exclaimed, 
 " Black Cock for ever," which so 
 disconcerted the clergyman, and ex- 
 cited the laughter of the congregation, 
 that it was some time before the for- 
 mer could proceed in his discourse, 
 or the latter become silent to hear him. 
 
 Singular Imtnnee of the Sagaeiti/ and 
 Sensihiliti/ of a Bear. 
 
 LEOPOLD, duke, of Lorrain, had 
 a bear called Marco, of the sagacity 
 and sen>ibi!!ty of which we have the 
 following example : 
 
 During the winter of 1709, a Sa- 
 voyard boy, ready to perish with cold 
 in a barn, in which he had, been put 
 by a good woman wilh some n)ore of 
 his conjpanii)iis, thought proper to 
 enter Marco's hu^ without reflecting 
 upon tlie danger which he ran, in ex- 
 posing himself to the mercy of tlie 
 aiiimal which occupied it. ^Jarco, 
 however, instead of doing any injury 
 to the child, took him between his 
 paws, aud warmed him by squeezing 
 him to his breaat until the ne.\l morn- 
 ing, when he suft'ered him to fiepart 
 and ramble about the city. — The Sa- 
 voyard returned in the evening to the 
 hut, and wns received with the same 
 aiiection. lor the following days he 
 had no other retreat ; but what added 
 much lo his joy, was to perceive that 
 the bear had reserved part of his 
 food for him. Several days passed 
 in this manner, without the servants 
 perceiving any thing of the circum- 
 stance. 
 
 One day, when one of them came 
 to bring his master his supper, rather 
 later than onlinary, he was aston- 
 ished to see the aiiimal roll his eye.s 
 in a furious manner, and seeming as if 
 he wished him to make as little noisa 
 as possible, for fear of awakening the
 
 416 Literarif Curiositie!^, Epitetplts^ Wonderful Events, 
 
 child, whom he clasped to his breast 
 The animal, thou<;h ravenous, did not 
 appear in tlie Jeast moved witii the 
 food which was set before him. The 
 report of this extraordinary circuui- 
 stance was soon sj)read at court, and 
 reached the ("ars «tf Leopold, who, 
 with part of his courtiers, was desirous 
 of being satisfied of the truth of Mar- 
 co's generosity. Several of them pas- 
 sed the night near his hut, and beheld 
 with astonisliment, that the bear never 
 stirred as long as his guest shewed any 
 inclination to sleep. 
 
 At break of day the child awoke, 
 was very niuch asliamed to find himself 
 discovered, and fearing that he would 
 be punished for his rashness, begged 
 for pardon. 'Hie bear, however, ca- 
 ressed him, and endeavoured to pre- 
 vail on him to cat what had been 
 brought him the evening before, which 
 be did at the request of the s})ecfators, 
 who conducted him to the prince. 
 Havhig heard the whole history of this 
 singular alliance, and the time which 
 it bad continued, tlie prince orderefl 
 care to be taken of the little Savoyard, 
 who without doubtj would have so'on 
 made his fortune, had he not died a 
 short time alter. 
 
 Sedan Chairs. 
 
 SIR S. Duncombe, predecessor to 
 Duncombe Lord Faversham, and 
 gentlemen pensioner to King James 
 and Charles I. was the person who 
 introduced sedan chairs into this 
 country, anno 1634-, when he pro- 
 cured a patent, which vested in liim 
 and his heirs, the sole tight of carry- 
 ing persons up and down in them for 
 a certain sum. — Sir Saunders was a 
 great traveller, and had seen these 
 chairs at Sedan, where they were first 
 invented. It is remarkable that Capt. 
 Bayley introduced the use of hackney 
 coaches the same year ; a tolerable 
 long ride might then be had iu either 
 of those vehicles for 4d« "But, al?i5 !" 
 
 says the writer of the above aiticle 
 " the introduction of these machines 
 sp'oiled the constitutions of our wo- 
 men, they became nervous and la^y, 
 and no longer broiiglit forth robust 
 children." 
 
 Anecdote of a Quaker. 
 
 " ONCL," said A quaker, in a dis- 
 pute concf ruing the propriety of titles, 
 " I had the honour to be in company 
 with em exctUtnce and an highness; 
 his excellence was the most ignorant 
 and brutal of his species, and his 
 highness measured just four feet 
 ei"ht inches without his shoes. 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 MR. WHITBIIEAD, jun. is wit- 
 tily called the /?o//< of the lower asseu)- 
 bly. The same was observed by the 
 late duke of Cedford, ol Mr. Whit- 
 bread's father, when he put up for 
 the tow'n of Bedford. " Pray sir," 
 demanded the aristocratic peer, "what 
 are you ?'' — " A brewer, my lord," 
 answered tlie candidate. — " A brewer; 
 why then we shall certainly have some 
 froth in tl.e house." — " True, please 
 your grace, but remember the Jroih 
 is always upptrmost." 
 
 Anecdote of Van Trump. 
 
 DURING the brat of a naval en- 
 gagement, between (he English and 
 Dutch fleets. Trump being excessively 
 thirsty, called for a bowl ©f wine, 
 wbiclt his servant had no sooner deli- 
 vered to him, but a cannon ball took 
 his hand otf, when retiring from bis 
 master. The brave admiral, touched 
 with a noble compassion, spilt the 
 wine on the deck, saying, " It is not 
 (it I should quench my thirst with the 
 blood of a faithful servant." And as 
 soon as he had spoke these words, a 
 bullet took froi.i hitn the power of 
 ever drinking again.
 
 Interesting/ Narratives, Emgmas^ Epigrams^ Poetnj^ %c. 417 
 
 r'l'emoirs of the Life of Mr. John 
 Dryden. 
 
 JOHN DrydeiJ, son of Erasmus 
 Dryden, of Ticlimeisli, in Nortli- 
 ainptonsliire, third son of En'.smus 
 Drvden, of Canons- Ashby, in the 
 same county, baronet, was born at 
 Oldwincle, near Onndle, in that 
 count V, August g, 1 631, and edu- 
 cated in grauinmr learning, at West- 
 minster school, under Dr lUchard 
 I'usbv, betni; one of the kinii's scho- 
 lars upon the royal foundation. In 
 1650, he was elected a scholar of 
 Trinity-college in the university of 
 Cambridge; and in l66s, upon the 
 death of Sir William D'Avenant, was 
 made poet lanreat. 
 
 In 160.9, his comedy intitled the 
 Wild GaUa?it, was jicted at the thea- 
 tre-royal, after which he wrote many 
 dramatic performances, too many for 
 us to give a list of, and which Mr. 
 Gerard Langbaine has for the. most 
 part treated with great severity, and 
 represented our poet as a plagiary ; 
 upon which account !Mr. Langbaine 
 lias been censured by the anonymous 
 writer of the lives and characters of 
 the English dramatic poets; though 
 the hitter owns that Mr. Dryden has 
 borrowed from the French, at the 
 same time that he seems to contemn 
 them; unless it may be pretended that 
 he used them, as Virgil did Ennius of 
 old, to extract gold out of their dung. 
 For I never found him continues that 
 writer, in any theft indeed, but what 
 he gave a new lustre to, when taken 
 even from the best of the ancients. 
 
 lu November 1 6/9. an e.ssay on 
 satire being spread about tlie city in 
 manuscript, in which many gross re- 
 flections were made upon the duchess 
 of Portsmouth, and John Wilniot, 
 earl of Rochester, and they suspecting 
 Mr. Dryden to be the author of it, 
 one or both hired three men to cudgel 
 him; which they effected, in Will's 
 cofFee-h«use, Covent-garden. at eight 
 
 o'clock at night, on December the 
 l6lh, i^79: yet afterwards Joi'n earl 
 of Mulgrave was generally thrught to 
 be theaut!)or. In i^Sl, he pubiished 
 his Abs.Kom and \c!»itophel, in wiiicli 
 hiving exposed the duke of Bucking- 
 ham under the character wf Zimri, it 
 ocra sinned a story that his grace had 
 procured him to be beaten; but this 
 as Mr. Wood assures us, was false; 
 since the duke only wrote, or caused 
 to be written, reflections on that poem. 
 
 Upon the revolution, Dryden lost 
 his place of poet laureat and histo* 
 riosrapher royal; in wiiich he was 
 succeeded by Thomas Shadwell, esq. 
 a<;ainst whom he entertained an im- 
 placable resentment, as appears from 
 his Mac-Flecknoe, one of the severest 
 satires in any language. 
 
 He died on the 1st of May, I7OI, 
 at his house in Gerard-street, having 
 lived tliere many years, and was in- 
 terred in Westmiiister-abbey, where 
 a monument is erected to him, by 
 John late duke of Rucknighamshire. 
 
 Mr. Co'igreve, in the dedi* aticm of 
 our poet's dramatic works to the duke 
 ot' Newcastle, has drav\n his character 
 to great advantage. He tells us, that 
 Mr. Dryden had personal qualities to 
 challenge both love and esteem from 
 all who were truly acquainted with 
 him: he was of a nature exceeding 
 humane and compassionate; easily 
 forgiving injuries aaii capable of a 
 prompt and sincere rt conciliation with 
 them who had oftVnded him. His 
 friend.^hip, where he professed it, 
 went much beyond his professions; 
 of which many strong and generous 
 instances have been related by peisons 
 who received them; though his lieri- 
 ditary income was little more than a 
 bare competency. 
 
 Ej^itaph on the Parson of a Country Parish. 
 
 COME let ns rejoice, merry boys, at bis fall. 
 For egad, had he lived, be'd have buried 
 Us all. 
 3 H
 
 'il8 Literan/ Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderf id Events, 
 
 The Assassination of Julius Cccsar, in 
 tfie Senate-House of Rome. 
 
 CAIUS JULIUS C^SAR, who so 
 early acquired renown, and at last 
 friumphed over the constitution of his 
 country, was descended by his mother's 
 side from the first kings of Rome, and 
 by his father's, from the Julian family. 
 He was made high priest of Jupiter at 
 the age of seventeen, and about that 
 time married Cornelia, the daughter 
 of Cinna. 
 
 By his artful addres«, he soon suc- 
 (feeded to most of the high offices in 
 the state, and being of an affable dis- 
 position, readily gained upon the af- 
 fections of the people, who lost all 
 thoughts of his ambition, in their con- 
 sideration of his generosity and win- 
 ning deportment. 
 
 This consummate politician, suc- 
 cessful in every expedition, greatly ex- 
 tended the Roman empire, and had 
 all the honours heaped upon liim that 
 the commonwealth could bestow, be- 
 ing saluted imperator, and having the 
 pepetual dictatorship conferred upon 
 him. His person was declared sacrt^d, 
 and he was allowed t(» assist at all pub- 
 lic games, in a chair of state, and with 
 a golden crown upon his head. Being 
 thus absolute master of Rome, and 
 all its dependencies, he bestowed lands 
 at pleasure on his friends and followers, 
 but, in the midst of his power, was 
 never found to be cruel to his enemies; 
 on the contrary, he pardoned such as 
 had taken up arnjs against him, and, 
 instead of following the example of 
 Marius and Sylla, still continued to 
 use all the means in his power to se- 
 <?u'-e the affections of the people. 
 
 Yet, notwithstanding all this, it 
 was not possible for him to suppress 
 that spirit which glowed in the bosoms 
 «f those who were attached to the old 
 form of government. Among those 
 were many, who without having any 
 personal enmity against Julius Csesar, 
 ^ould not h«lp considering the man 
 
 that had altered their ancient consti- 
 tution as the enemy of his country; 
 and while they viewed him in this 
 light, it was not wonderful that they 
 should plan schemes for his destruc- 
 tion, Cassar had every thing but the 
 the title of king, and this he caused 
 his creatures to endeavour to obtain for 
 him; but the people always appeared 
 averse to the innovation. In particu- 
 lar, Mark Anthony twico offered to 
 crown him, which the dictator as often 
 refused ; but was little pleased with 
 the acclamations of the multitude on 
 his rejecting this mark of regal autho- 
 rity. A combination was now entered 
 into against him, in wljich sixty sena- 
 tors were said to be concerned; at the 
 head of the conspiracy were Brutus 
 and Cassius, the former of whom had 
 been under the greatest obligations to 
 Caesar, and by some was supposed to 
 be his natural son. This Roman was 
 descended from the first Brutus, was 
 a person of a noble mind, a mild dis- 
 position, was a strict advocate fur jus- 
 tice, and a true lover of his country. 
 As to Cassius, he was an unexperi- 
 enced soldier, and a man of reputa- 
 tion among his party. He was, how- 
 ever, of a disposition quite different. 
 Silewt and secret, sullen and reserved, 
 it was not easy to discover when he 
 had taken a dislike to any body, and, 
 consequently, it was very difficult to 
 guard against his resentment. Though 
 he was looked upon only as a Hecon- 
 dary person in this plot, it was gene- 
 rally concluded that he was the |)jinci- 
 pal agent in stirring up Brutus to take 
 a leading part in it. The former used 
 often to find papers addressed to him, 
 exciting him to take up arms, though 
 he was not acquainted from whence 
 such intimations came. These, how- 
 ever, were so artfully contrived, that 
 they worked the desired effect, and 
 this illustrious person soon appeared 
 in the midst of the conspirators, 
 among whom were, likewise, Decimus 
 Brutus, Casca, Cinna, and ^ietuil^,s
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, S^'c. 419 
 
 Cimber, some of whom had been 
 worked upon by Cassiiis, whilst others, 
 who had been obhged by Julius Ciesar, 
 were ashaivied of having received fa- 
 vours from him who had overturned 
 ■* the libiMties of his country. 
 
 This was a formidable combination, 
 yet it might have been defeated, had 
 the person against whom it was in- 
 tended, suspected the plan that was 
 laid to destroy him. On the contrary, 
 besides a number of prodi^^ies, which 
 historians relate or have invented, it 
 appears that even the fatal day, which 
 was tl)e last of his life, he had letters 
 put into his hands, whii h, had he 
 opened them, must have discovered 
 to him the whole of the plot. But the 
 pressing of the crowd, and the plea- 
 sure that he received from the respect 
 shewn him by all ranks of people, as 
 he proceeded towards the senate-house, 
 prevented his attending to those friend- 
 ly admonitions, which were delivered 
 unopened to his attendants. 
 
 Being arrived at the senate-house, 
 the conspirators closed round him, 
 when Cimber, whose brother had been 
 l>anished, caught hold of his rebe, 
 claniorously pleading for the reversion 
 of this sentence. While Cajsar was 
 checking these intruders, on account 
 of the rude manner in which they pre- 
 ferred tlieir several suits, the appointed 
 signal being given, he was attacked on 
 all sides ; yet he defended himself with 
 resolution, and rushing upon Casca, 
 threw him upon the floor ; but soon 
 found himself oppressed by numbers ; 
 and at last, observing Brutus among 
 the rest, he exclaimed. " And art thou 
 there too, niy son Brutus?" After 
 which, umnindful of defence, he stag- 
 gered up to Ponipey's statute, at Uie 
 feel of which he fell, covered with 
 twenty-three wounds, in the fiftieth 
 year of his age, a victim to the malice 
 of some, and the ardent zeal of others 
 to restore freedom to their country. 
 
 While the people were yet in a fer- 
 ment, Anthony, who was possessed of 
 Cxesar's papers, read his will in the 
 
 public forum ; and produced the body 
 of the deceased, over which he pro- 
 nounced a most artful oration, not 
 failing to notice his victories, his 
 learning, liis generosity, clemency, 
 and other virtues; at intervals in- 
 veighing against the conspirators, uti- 
 til [\G had inflamed his auditors to 
 madncis, who would have burned all 
 tht'ir houses, iiad tluy not been vigor- 
 ously defended. As to the body of 
 C'Ksar, it was buried with all funeral 
 honours, and an altar erected to his 
 memory. 
 
 Natural History of the Bohon-Upas, 
 or Poison-Tree, of the Island of 
 Java. By Mr. N. P. Foersch. 
 
 THIS destructive tree is called, in 
 the Malayan language, bohon-upas. 
 and has been described by naturalists. 
 But their accounts have been so tinc- 
 tured with the marvellons, that the 
 whole narration has been supposed to 
 be an ingenious fiction by the gene- 
 rality of readers. Nor is this in the 
 least degree surprising, when the cir- 
 cumstances which we shall faithfully 
 relate in this description are con- 
 sidered. 
 
 I must acknowledge, that I long 
 doubted the existence of this tree, 
 until a stricter inquiry convinced me 
 of niY errtT. I shall now only relate 
 simple, unadorned facts, of which I 
 have been an eye-witness. My readers 
 may depend upon the fidelity of this 
 account. In the year 177^ I was 
 stationed at Batavia, as a surgeon in 
 the service of the Dutch East Itidia 
 company. During xns residence there, 
 I received several ditterenl accounts of 
 the hohun-upas, and the violent etlccts 
 of its poison. They all thtii seemed 
 incredible to me, but raised my cu- 
 riosity in so high a degree, that I 
 resolved to investigate this matter 
 thoroughly, and to trust only to my 
 own observations. In consequence of 
 this resolution, 1 applied to the gover- 
 nor-general, Mr. Petrus Albertus van 
 3 112
 
 420 Literarif Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Events^ 
 
 dT {'arra, for a pass to 1rav(?l throuel' I 
 the country. My recjuest was i^rauretl 
 and having procured every informntioi- | 
 I sel out on my exptdilion 1 hud pro- 
 cured a reconimeii'.'HJion troni an olit 
 Malayan pritst to another juiest, wi > 
 lives on the nearest inhabitable spot Ir 
 the tree, which is abowt- fit'een or sis- 
 teen miles distant. 1 he letter proved 
 of 8 1 eat service tome in my under- 
 taking:, as that pricit is appointed b^ 
 the Emperor to rtsioe there, in order 
 to prepare for eternity the souls oi 
 thos.- who for dil^'ert nt criraes are sen- 
 ten'^ed to appro;ich the tree, and to 
 procure the poi«on. 
 
 The bohon-iipas is situated in the 
 island of J-iva, about tw- iity-seven 
 leai;ues ffom Britavia, fourteen from 
 Soura-Charta, the seat of the Emperor, 
 and between eichleen and twenty 
 leagues from Tinkjoe, the present 
 residence of the sultan of Java. It is 
 surrounded on all sides by a circle of 
 liigli hills and niouutains, and thr 
 country round it, to the distance of 
 ten or twelve miles from the tree, is 
 entirely barren; not a tree, nor a shrub 
 nor evtn the least plant or grass is to 
 be seen. I have made the tour ail 
 round tliis dangerous spot, at about 
 eighteen miles distant from the centre, 
 and I found the aspect of the country 
 on all sides equally dreary. The 
 easiest ascent of the hills, is from that 
 part where the old ecclesiastic dwells. 
 From his house the crin»inals are sent 
 for the poison, into .which the points 
 of all warlike instruments are dipped. 
 It is of hif!h value, and produces a con- 
 siderable revenue to the Emperor. 
 
 A curious Inscription. 
 
 PRSVBVPRPCTMN 
 VnKPTHSPRCPTSTN. 
 
 The above letters were affixed (o the com- 
 mniijon Xnble of a ?niall church in Wales, 
 jind continued to piiazic the learned congre- 
 gation for sonU' centuries, it wiss at length 
 dec J' pbered, and it appeared, hy the use of 
 the single vcwcl e, the following pious 
 couplet was to he foriued .— 
 
 PeBSRVWRE ye PERrF.CT IWEK, 
 
 Ever keep these pkkcbpts ten. 
 
 Singular Uager. 
 
 AS two gentlemen the other day 
 were settling an account at a coffee- 
 house, one of them drew out of his 
 ;)ocket-book a great number of bank- 
 notes, which induced a gentleman, 
 who sat in the next box to exclaim, 
 'hat he wished to have as many as he 
 could carry of them ; " then sir," re- 
 plied the other, " how many, and to 
 what amount do you think you could 
 carry, for all mine are in ten pound 
 notes?" "Why, sir," said the other im 
 reply, " I do not mind that, but I 
 flunk I could carry more than the bank 
 of England could supply me with; for 
 I think I could carry in ten pound 
 bank-notes as much as the national 
 debt amounts to;" upon which tlie 
 other gentleman offered to lay him a 
 wager of five guineas, that he an(5 
 ninety-nine more of the strongest men 
 that he could select, could not carry 
 the weight of the amount of the na- 
 tional debt in ten pound notes, for the 
 distance of one mile without pitching ; 
 the wager was immediately accepted, 
 and a calcuhilion immediately took 
 place, when it was found that 512 
 bank-notes weighed exactly one pound 
 weight; and two hundred and forty- 
 two millions, which is computed to be 
 the national debt, weighs forty seven 
 thousand two hundred and sixty-five 
 pounds, which when divided among a 
 hundred people, the weight that every 
 one would have to carry, woidd be 
 four hundred and seventy-two pounds 
 six ounces per man. The gentleman 
 who had accepted the wager, was 
 struck with astonishment, and imme- 
 diately paid the money without having 
 iiny recoi»rse to a trial. 
 
 Epitaph on a Scolding Wife, who died in 
 her Sleep, 
 
 rlERE lies the quintesseace of noise and 
 
 of strife, 
 Or, in one word, here lies a scolding wife; 
 ilad n»t death took hev when her month 
 
 was sl.ut, 
 He durst not for Lis ear* have touch'd the
 
 I nterest In (/ Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetri/, 8fe. 421 
 
 Origin of the Grejj Mares being tlu 
 heiter Horse. 
 
 A GENTLEMAN of a certain 
 countv in Eiigland, liavin^ married a 
 voiuiGf lady of considerable fortune, 
 and witli many other charms, vet find- 
 ing, in a very short time, that slit 
 was of a high domineering spirit, and 
 always contendinsj to be mistress oi 
 him and his family, he was resdvetf 
 to part with her. Accordingly, he 
 went to her father, and toid liim, lie 
 found his daughter of such a temper^ 
 and was so heartily tired of her, that 
 if he would take her home again, he 
 would return every penny of her for 
 tune. 
 
 The old gentleman having enquired 
 into the cause of his conipU'.int, asked 
 him "why he should be more disquiet- 
 ed at it than any other married man 
 since it was the common case with 
 them all, and consequently no more 
 than he ought to have expected wiien 
 he entered into the marriage state]" 
 The young gentleman desired to be 
 excused, if he said he was so fiir from 
 giving his assent to this assertion, that 
 he thought himself more unhappy 
 than any other man, as his wife had a 
 spirit no way to be quelled ; and as 
 most certainly no man, who had a 
 sense of right and wrong, could ever 
 submit to be governed by his wife, 
 " Son (said the old man) you are but 
 little acquainted with the world, if 
 you do not know that all women go- 
 vern their husbands, though not all 
 indeed, by the same method : how- 
 ever, to end all disputes between us, 
 I will put what I have said on this 
 proof, if you are willing to try it: I 
 liave five horses in my stable ; you 
 shall harness these to a cart, in which 
 1 shall put a basket containing one 
 hundred eggs; and if, in passing 
 through the county, and making a 
 strict enquiry into the truth or false- 
 hood of my assertion, and leaving a 
 horse at the house of every man who 
 
 is master of his family himself, and 
 itn eg<.' only where the wife governs, 
 you will find your eggs gone before 
 Nour horses, I hope yuu will then 
 think your own case not uncommon, 
 but will be contented to go home, 
 aiui look upon your own wife as no 
 w-orse than her neighbours. If, oti 
 the other hand, your horses are gone 
 first, 1 will take my daughter home 
 again, and you shall keep her fortune." 
 This proposal was too advantageous 
 to be rejected; our young married 
 man, therefore, set out with great 
 eagerness to get rid, as he thought, 
 of his horses and his wife. 
 
 At the first house he came to, he 
 heard a woman, with a shrill and an- 
 i^rv voice, call to her husband to go to 
 the door. Here he left an egg, you 
 may be sure, without making any fur- 
 ther ei.quiry ; at the next he met with 
 something of the same kind ; and at 
 every house, in short, until his eggs 
 were almost gone, when ^.e arrived at 
 the seat of a gentleman of family and 
 figure in the county : he ki:ocked at 
 the door, and enquiring for the master 
 of the house, was told by a servant, 
 tliat his master was not yet stirring, 
 but, if he pleased to walk in, his lady 
 was in the parlour. The lady, with 
 great complaisance, desired hitn to 
 seat himself, and said, if his business 
 was very urgent, she would wake her 
 husband to let him know it, but had 
 much rather nctdistuib him. "Why, 
 really, madam (said he) my business 
 is only to ask a question, which you 
 can dissolve as well as your husband, 
 if you will be iugenuous with me : you 
 will, doubtless, think it odd, and it 
 may be deemed impolite for any one, 
 much more a stranger, to ask such 
 a question ; bu! as a very considerable 
 wager depends upon it, and it may be 
 some advantage to yourself to declare 
 the truth to me, 1 hope these consi- 
 derations will plead ni} excuse. It is, 
 madam, to desire to be informed, 
 whether you govern your husbaud, or
 
 422 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful F.vents, 
 
 he rules over you?—'* Indeed, sir (re- 
 pHed the lady) this question is some- 
 what odd ; but, as I think no oii< 
 cught to be ashamed of doing theii 
 «iHty, 1 shall make no srrnple to say, 
 that I have been always proud to ohe\ 
 jny husband in all things; but, if a 
 noniiin's own word is to be *nspecled 
 in sucii a case, let him answer ior me ; 
 tor isi're he comes." 
 
 The gentleman at tliat moment en- 
 termg the room, and, after some apo- 
 ioj»ics, being lisadc acquainted wilh 
 the business, confirmed every word 
 bis obedient wife had reported in her 
 own fiivour; upon wliici) he was in 
 vited to choose which horse in the 
 U-atti he liked best, and to accept of 
 it as a present. 
 
 A black gelding struck the fancy of 
 «he gentleman inost; but the lady de- 
 sired he would choose the grey mare, 
 which she thought would be very lit 
 for her side-saddle, her husband gave 
 ^^Jbslanfiul reasons why the black 
 horse would be the most useful to 
 Ibeni ; but Rv.'diini still p^^rsisted in 
 her claim to the grey mare. " What 
 (-8id s{)e) and will yon isot take her, 
 lh<n ? But I say you sh;dl ; for I am 
 sure the grey mare is much the heitei- 
 horse."—*' Well, n»y dear (replied, the 
 husband) if it must be so." — " You 
 iRiist take an egg (replied the gentle- 
 luan carter) and I must tal-e all my 
 horses back again, and endeavour to 
 live happy with my wife." 
 
 Eccentric Funeral. 
 
 THE remains nf Wm. Fowie, gent, 
 of tnxley, Kent, were lately interred 
 (according to his will) under part of a 
 wioilmill upon his estate. The fune- 
 ral attended by his executors and re- 
 Inllves, was conducted wilh a solem- 
 riif} well according with the awful 
 circumstances oi sudden death ; tlie 
 eccentricity of selecting such a spot 
 for the occasion, drew together a 
 considerable assemblage of persons. 
 
 On arrivmg at the mill, the cofifia was 
 carried into the buddings, and the 
 Rev. JNIr. Harris, of the Society of 
 Unitarian^, in the open air addressed 
 the persons as^enibltid, on the singular 
 lecjuest of the deceased, and after re- 
 ligious reflections on the uncertainty 
 of human life, and the particular in- 
 stance of it, which had called them 
 to ihut spot, Mr. Harris repeated a 
 prayer, and concluded wilh the Pa- 
 lerno>-ter. The following Epitaph, 
 the (deceased's own composition) was 
 placed on his tomb : 
 
 " TTnderneath (his litllp mill, 
 " Liesllie body of poor Wiil ; 
 "Odd he liv'd, and odd he died. 
 " And at his burial no one cried." 
 
 Origin of eating; Goose on Michctel' 
 mas Day. 
 
 QUEEN ILlizabeth on her way to 
 Tilbury Fort, on 29th Sept. 1589, 
 dined at the ancient seat of Sir Neville 
 Umfreville, near that place, and as 
 Briti^h Be^s had mueh rather dine off 
 H liijih st-asoned and substantial dish 
 than a simple fricasee or ragout, the 
 knight thought proper to provide a 
 brace of fine geese, to suit the palate 
 of his ^oyal gnesl. After the queen 
 had dined very heartily, she asked for 
 half-pint bumper of burgundy, and 
 drank " Destruction to the Spamsh 
 Armada." She had but that moment 
 returned the glass to the knight who 
 had done the honours of. the table, 
 when the news came (as if the queen 
 had hcen possessed With the spirit of 
 prophecy) that the Spanish fleet had 
 been destio^od by a storm. She im- 
 mediately took another bumper in 
 order to digest the geese and good 
 news ; aiid was so much pleased with 
 the event, itiat every year at"ter, on 
 that (lay, had the above excellent dish 
 served up. The Court made it a 
 custom, and the people the fashioii 
 ever since.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetrj/, S;c. 4-23 
 
 j4necdote. 
 IN the walls of the ancient houbc 
 of Sir Edward Dering, in the County 
 of Kent, lately pulled down and re- 
 built, a I-atin manuscript was found, 
 written by a bastard son of Richard 
 111. not menliuned by any of our 
 historians. The occasion of irs lodg- 
 ment was as iollows : The youth wais 
 privately educated in the country, at 
 a ^reat expence, under the best mas- 
 ters in every science. The tuition 
 answered the royal expectation. The 
 night before the fatal battle of Bos- 
 worth Field, the king sent for him, 
 and he was privately conducted to his 
 tent. — The attendants being dismissed 
 he declared to him the grand secret — 
 that he was his father, and presenting 
 him with fifteen hundred pounds (a 
 large sum in those days,) said, " Son, 
 thou must wait the issue of to-mor- 
 low : if fortunate, I will acknowledge 
 thee, and create thee Prince of Wules: 
 If the battle goes against me, and I 
 fall, forget what thou art, and live 
 retired, that is that (th^ money given) 
 which will procure a maintenance." 
 The son withdrew to a place of secrecy 
 and observation. The fatal day came, 
 the battle ensued ; Richard fell — his 
 son immediately set off for the capital, 
 and placed himself with a mason of 
 great eminence, being about l6 years 
 of age. The gracefulness of his per- 
 son and beliaviour bespoke that pa- 
 rentage, which, however, he had the 
 art and address carefully to disguise 
 and conceal. The master quickly 
 discovered the genius of his appren- 
 tice, whose skill and judgment he 
 relied upon in the nicest and most 
 difficult parts of architecture. Being 
 engaged in some alterations and re- 
 pairs in this ancient house, Richard's 
 son was sent down to supeiintcnd (he 
 workmen, where iiis wit, not less than 
 his ingenuity, was so engaging, that 
 the owner of the seat retained liim, 
 and permitted bira to build on his 
 
 estate a little mansion to reside upon. 
 He lived some years in this retirement, 
 devoted to reading and contemplation, 
 in great repute for his learning, piety 
 and modesty, and during that period 
 he wrote his life. At the approach 
 of death, he gave the manuscript to 
 his patron, with a request not to read 
 It till after his decease. He recovered 
 but soon after died ; and the afore- 
 said manuscript (inclosed, as it is 
 supposed, by his friend within the 
 wall) was not known nor discovered 
 till so lately as 1787- It is now in 
 the possession of the family of the 
 Deiings. 
 
 Epitaph on Mr. John Edwin, Comediaa, 
 ill. !^t. Pavl'S, C-Ovent'Garden, who died, 
 Gaiober 31, 1190, aged 43. 
 
 EACH social meed which honours huaiaa 
 kind 
 
 The dust beneath this frail memorial bore; 
 If pride of excellence uplift thy mind, 
 
 Subdise thy wealcaess, anti be vaia no 
 more. 
 A nation's mirth was subject to his art, 
 
 Ere icy death iiad smote tiiis child of glee; 
 And care resiim'd his empire o'er the heart, 
 
 NTheuheaven issu'd Jbldwia should uotbe. 
 
 A strange Genealogy, 
 
 OLD Williams of Doncaster had, 
 in the year 1700, two daughters by 
 his fit St wife, the eldest of whom was 
 married to John Willey, the son, and 
 the youngest was married to John 
 Willey, the father : this Willey had a 
 daughter by his first wife, whuni old 
 Wiiliams married, 8i\d by her had a 
 son: therefore, Willey, the father's 
 >econd wife, cou'd say as follows: 
 •• Mv father is my son, and I am my 
 mothei's mother: my sister is my 
 daughter, and I am grandmother to 
 mv brother." 
 
 Epitaph at a small Church in Canibrid^e- 
 suire. 
 
 HERE lies father, and mother, aud sister, 
 and I, 
 We ail died within the space of one sbort 
 year; 
 And ai! be buried at Wimple, in this conoty, 
 iixcept I, and I be buritd here.
 
 424 Literary Curiosities^ EpHaplis, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Curious clerical Advertisement. 
 
 WANTED, at ISlichaelmas next, 
 a curate in full orders, to perform the 
 «Iuties. of two adjoining parishes. It 
 will not be expected of him that he 
 bring any testimonial of his ability in 
 leaping a Jive barred gate jlijing, or 
 hitting twelve shots of partridges out 
 of thirteen, with a double-barrelled 
 gun! The regulardischarge of his duly 
 will afford him a more credi!)!e scwpe 
 for the exercise ot' those abilities with 
 which Providence may have endowed 
 him. He may have access at all times 
 to a good orthodox library at the 
 parsonage-house, and an occasional 
 seat at table with a cheerful family, 
 who can appreciate the value of a 
 worthy visitant. Any gentleman con- 
 ceiving himself characterized so as to 
 meet the object of this advertisement, 
 will be pleasod to address X. X. to 
 the care of the printer. 
 
 Verses left on a. Table, at a Chop House, 
 not far from the Royal Exchange. 
 
 DEAR Betty, emblem of thy chop-house 
 
 ware, 
 As broth reviving, and as French bread fair; 
 As thy sweet eyes, no cruet half so bri^iit, 
 Tho' of cut-giass, by a wax-taper's light; 
 Thy hands, for softness, shame ths swee t 
 
 bread's touch, 
 Thy fingers all exceed the raddish much ; 
 Blue veins appear upon thy lovely skin. 
 Like dainty mould, or Cheshire-cheese so 
 
 thin; 
 Thy breasts, all swelling o'er thy leathern 
 
 stays, 
 Seem like a pot jnstlboiling twenty ways; 
 No Durham mustard, made the day before. 
 Is half so quick as you, from two till four : 
 Sharp .as my knife, and piercing as my fork, 
 Is thy dear wit: and, Oh! when country 
 
 pork 
 In season comes, how does thy comic voice 
 Join in the feast, like that, and apple-sauce! 
 As leaves of endive is thy curling hair, 
 Thy forehead like a mutlin bak'd so fair, 
 And when I fain would paint thy gentle 
 
 mind, 
 I talk of pigeons, and of lambkins kind. 
 Ere the vile butcher, or the poulterer drew 
 That knife which sent them to be drest by 
 
 you. 
 
 O Betsey, could I turn and shift my love 
 With the same art that you your steaks cau 
 
 move, 
 My heart (iius cook'd,might prove a chop- 
 house feast, 
 And you alone should be the welcome guest. 
 
 But dearest girl, the flames that you im- 
 
 part, 
 Like chop on s;ridiron broil my tender heart; 
 Which, if thy kindly helping hand ben't 
 
 ni:?h, 
 Must, like an unturn'd chop, hiss, burn, 
 
 and fry ; 
 And mu^t, at lasl, thou scorcher of my 
 
 s<iui, 
 Shrink, aiid become an undistinguish'd coal. 
 
 Epigram. 
 
 SAYS Dolly — me, Thomas, yon promised to 
 
 wed ; 
 And I, sIHy girl, believ'd all that you said. 
 That I promis'ii to wed you, and love you, 
 
 'tis true ; 
 But I've (ry'd you, my Doll, and I find it 
 
 won't do. 
 
 Long and Short Tails. 
 
 A PERSON asked a farmer what 
 he must give him to take his horses to 
 grass. " Why," said the farmer, "for 
 long-tailed horses four shillings, and 
 for bob-tails six, per week," The 
 person wondered at the difference of 
 the charge, which the farmer at his 
 desire explained. " The reason is this, 
 in the hot weather the long tails are 
 so busy in switching the flies, that they 
 have not time to eat so much as the 
 others ; but the bob-tails have nothing 
 else to do.'' 
 
 Epitaph in Hampstead. 
 
 UNDERNEATH whereas yon see, 
 There lies the body of Simon Tree, 
 
 Epigram. 
 
 MIDAS, we read, with wond'rous art of 
 
 old, 
 Wbate'er he tonch'd at once transform'd to 
 
 gold ; 
 This modern statesman can reverse with 
 
 ease, 
 Touch them with gold, they'll change to 
 
 what you please,
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, S(c. 425 
 
 Enigmatical List of Birds. 
 
 WHAT we do when we eat. 
 
 A name given to a dog, two-fourths 
 of a metal, und a consonant. 
 ^ Three-tifths of a capital city in 
 France, and a monosyllable. 
 
 Three-fourths of a horned animal, 
 a part in a fish, and two-fifths of a seat. 
 
 A colour, and a carpenter's instru- 
 ment. 
 
 A coiisonaiit, and thiee-eights of a 
 rambler. 
 
 Four-fifths of a tempest, and a 
 consonant. 
 
 A man's christian name. 
 
 Three-fifths of a disease, and two- 
 fourths of the contrary to slovenly. 
 
 Three-fifths of the contrary to slow, 
 and two-fourths of a metal. 
 
 A play-thing for boys. 
 Three-fifths of a word of deceit, two- 
 fifths of a carriage, and a consonant. 
 
 A grain, and the mate of a hen. 
 
 A native of Asia, and two-thirds of 
 a part in one's face. 
 
 A consonant, the contrary to out, 
 and a number reversed. 
 
 A vowel, a consonant, and the one- 
 fourth of a disease. 
 
 A resort for wild beasts, and the 
 form of a hat. 
 
 Three-fifths of a watery ground, 
 and what tinkers use. 
 
 Three-fifths of what is common 
 with bees, and a consonant. 
 
 A consonant, and Noah's retreat 
 before the flood. 
 
 A valiant soldier, and a consonant. 
 •o. Four-fifths of a seaport in Kent. 
 
 Three-sixths of a villain, and the 
 reverse to out. 
 
 Three-fourths of what we should all 
 be, and two-fifths of a useful creature. 
 
 What all English ceins are. 
 
 Three-fourths of a Key, and two- 
 thirds of an ear of corn. 
 
 A serpentine letter, a pinch, and a 
 vowel. 
 
 Three-fourths of a large bay, and 
 
 Five-sixths of a travelling pedlar. 
 
 Two-thirds of an animal, and three" 
 tenths of an air engine. 
 
 A consonant, two-fifths of a fish, 
 and the one-sixth of a gate. 
 
 What's used in the game called 
 cricket. 
 
 Three-eighths of a flower, and a 
 metal. 
 
 One-half of a fruit. 
 
 Three-fifths of a foreign silver coin, 
 and a consonant. 
 
 A large country. 
 
 What's reverse to sweet, and a 
 consonant. 
 
 Five-sevenths of a man feigned to 
 wear horns, and a consonant. 
 
 A bright luminary, and a vowel. 
 
 A word that signifies to fight, and a 
 number of things ranged in a line. 
 
 The opposite to day, and what a 
 cock doth in the morning. 
 
 Two-sevenths of a prickly weed, 
 and a plant. 
 
 A consonant, and three-fourths of 
 a coin. 
 
 Five-ninths of a disorder, a water 
 animal, and two-thirds of a mistake. 
 
 Three-fourths of a mournful noise. 
 
 Day's opposite, two-thirds of a re- 
 ceptacle for travellers, and a blast of 
 wind. 
 
 Three-fourths of a fish, and a snare. 
 
 A colour, and a joint «f veal. 
 
 A merry fellow, with part of his 
 wig. 
 
 The resort of wild beasts, a mea- 
 sure, and two-fifths of a mistake. 
 
 Islands. 
 
 A meadow, and four-sevenths of a 
 town in Hampshire. 
 
 A pulse, and a heap of hay. 
 
 A violin, and a vowel. 
 
 A heavenly body, and a fish. 
 
 Four-fifths of a silver coin. 
 
 A dipthong, and three-fourths of a 
 jovial song. 
 
 Three-fifths of a carpenter's tool, a 
 serpentine letter, and a vowel. 
 
 'Three-sixths of a note in music, a 
 vowel, and a cooionaot. 
 3 1
 
 426 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 A berry, and a guttural letter. 
 
 A thicket of trees, and a creature 
 that's ill us'd. 
 
 The first letter of Israel's first name, 
 and an improper diphthong. 
 
 Three-fifths of a throng, and the 
 first letter of one of the four elements. 
 
 A gelded beast, and part of a man's 
 head. 
 
 The Cat-Eater. 
 
 A SHEPHERD at Beverly, in 
 Yorkshire, made a bet of five pounds, 
 that he would devour the whole of a 
 living cat. The one produced was a 
 large black torn cat, which had not 
 been fed for the purpose, but was 
 chosen as being the largest in that 
 neighbourhood. The day appointed 
 was the fair day at Beverly (July 5th.) 
 The parties met. The man produced 
 was a raw boned fellow, about forty. 
 The cat was then given to him, on 
 %vhich he took hold of its four legs 
 with one hand, and closing its mouth 
 with the other he killed him, by bit- 
 ing his head to pieces inmiediately, 
 and in less than a quarter of an hour 
 devoured every part of the cat. The 
 man who laid the wager, gave the 
 performer two guineas for doing it, 
 and the shepherd appeared perfectly 
 satisfied with the reward. After he 
 had done he walked about the fair the 
 vhole afternoon, and seemed neither 
 sick nor sorry. He took no emetic, 
 nor had this repast any efiect upon 
 him whatever. 
 
 An extraordinary Shot. 
 
 A CLERGYMAN, in the eastern 
 part of Sussex, some time since, at 
 a single discharge of his gun, killed 
 a partridge, shot a man, a h«g, and 
 a hog-sty, broke fourteen panes of 
 glass, and knocked down six ginger- 
 bread kings and queens, that were 
 standing on the mautle-piece opposite 
 the window. 
 
 Origin of the Coroners Jury. 
 A GENTLEWOMAN in Londen, 
 after having buried six husbands, 
 found a gentleman hardy enough to 
 make her a wife once niore. — For se- 
 veral months their happiness was mu- 
 tual, a circumstance which seemed to 
 pay no great compliment to the former 
 partners of her bed, w ho, as she said, 
 had disgusted her by their sottislmess 
 and inlidelity. With a view of know- 
 ing the real character of his amorous 
 mate, the gpntleman began frequently 
 to absent himself, to return at late 
 hours, and, when he did return, to 
 appear as if intoxicated. At first re- 
 proaches, but afterwards menaces, 
 were the consequences of this conduct. 
 The gentleman persisted, and seemed 
 every day more and more addicted to 
 his bottle. At length one evening, 
 when she imagined him dead drunk, 
 she unsewed a leaden weight from one 
 of the sleeves of her gown, and hav- 
 ing melted it, approached to her hus- 
 band (who pretended still to be sound 
 asleep) in order to pour it into his 
 ear through a pipe. Convinced of 
 her wickedness, the gentleman started 
 up and seized her, and having pro- 
 cured assistance, he secured her till 
 the morning, when he had her con- 
 ducted before a magistrate, who com- 
 mitted her to prison. The bodies of 
 her six husbands were then dug up, 
 and as marks of violence were still dis- 
 coverable upon each of them, the 
 proof of her guilt appeared so strong 
 upon her trial, that she was condem- 
 ned to be executed. — To this circum- 
 stance (said the compiler of the Dic- 
 tionarie d'Anecdotcs, &c. &c.) it 
 England indebted for that useful regu- 
 lation, by which no corpse who comes 
 by a sudcifu death, can be interred in 
 that kingdom, without a legal inspec- 
 tion. ■ 
 
 Epitaph on Robert Pemberton. 
 HERE lies Rohin, but not Robin Hood, 
 Here lies Robin that never did good; 
 Here lies Robin by Iieav'n fursak'n, 
 Here.lies Robia— the devil may take'a. ■
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enipiias, Epigrams, Poetry, SfC. 427 
 
 Tfie English Bull Dog. 
 
 THIS animal is the fiercest of all 
 the dog kind, and is perhaps the most 
 courageous creature in the world. It 
 is low in stature, but very strong and 
 muscular: it has a short nose, and 
 the under jaw projects beyond the 
 upper, which gives it a fierse and un 
 pleasing aspect. Its courage in at- 
 tacking the bull is well known; its 
 fury in seizing, and its obstinacy in 
 luaiiitaining its hold, are truly aston- 
 ishing. It always aims at the front, 
 and generally fastens upon the lip, 
 the tongue, the eye, or some part of 
 the face; where it hangs, in spite of 
 every effort of the bull to disengage 
 himself. 
 
 The extraordinary ardour of these 
 dogs in fighting, will be best illustrated 
 by the following fact, related by an 
 eye-witness; which at the same time 
 Corroborates, in some degree, that 
 wonderful account of the dogs of 
 Epirus, given by Elian, and quoted 
 by Dr. Goldsmith in his history of the 
 dog. Some years ago, at a bull- 
 bailing in the north of England, when 
 that custom was very common, a 
 young man, confident of the courage 
 of his dog, laid seme trifling wager, 
 that he would, at separate times, cut 
 off all the four feet of the dog ; and 
 that, after amputation, it would at- 
 tack the bull. The cruel experiment 
 was tried, and the dog continued to 
 seize the bull as eagerly as if he had 
 not been maimed. 
 
 This custom of baiting the bull, has 
 of late years been almost laid aside 
 in the north of England ; and con- 
 sequently there are not, at this lime, 
 many of this kind of dogs to be seen. 
 
 The bull dog always makes his at- 
 tack witliout barking, and therefore 
 it is dangerous to approach him alone, 
 without very great precaution. 
 
 Mad Tom and the Soldier, 
 A SOLDIER being very much in 
 liquor, and very abusive withal, was 
 taken up and put in the town prison 
 
 pretty early in the evening, where he 
 being unable to stand, laid down and 
 presently fell fast asleep. An ideot, 
 well known by the name of crazy 
 Tom, happening that evening to be- 
 have very ill, was late at night sent 
 to the same prison. Tom, who is 
 remarkable for always carrying a 
 prayei book under his arm, knew no- 
 thing of the soldier being there; he 
 placed his prayer book for a pillow, 
 laid doMn and slept until the dawn of 
 day, when rising and mo^'ing about, 
 he happened to step upon the sleeping 
 soldier, and fairly tumbled over him. 
 Tom rising and discovering the sol- 
 dier asleep, he said to himself, here 
 is a dead corpse, but I will give it a 
 christian burial. He went, and just 
 behind the prison-door found a parcel 
 of dirt, wiih which, filling his hat, 
 then pulling off his coat and waistcoat, 
 and drawing the fla|>s of his .shirt from 
 his breeches, now, says Tom, I am 
 in my surplice, and with his prayer- 
 book in his hand, walking towards the 
 sleeping soldier, calls out, make room 
 for the parson, then began distinctly 
 to read the burial service; when he 
 came to " earth to earth," Tom taking 
 a handful of dirt, strewed it over the 
 soldier, " ashes to ashes," Tom 
 strewed another handful, " dust to 
 dust," Tom took up his hat, and 
 threw the whole in the soldier's face, 
 which waked him, aud seeing and 
 hearing Tom read, he really believed 
 that they thought him dead, and were 
 absolutely burying him. 
 
 The soldier immediately cried out, 
 "pray reverend sir, don't bury me, 
 I am not dead yet," " you lie," says 
 Tem! "you are dead enough, I 
 warrant you, no living man could 
 come through the key-hole nor the 
 iron grates; there was nobody here 
 but myself last night, and I found this 
 dead corpse here this morning!" Tom 
 began to read on—" sir," said the sol- 
 dier, " I was put in here for being 
 drunk, and am not dead," then says 
 3 I 2 "
 
 428 Literary Curiosities^ EpifnpJts, Wonderful Everits, 
 
 Tom, ** you died while yea were 
 drunk, and have forgot it, that's all, 
 but you must, and shall have a 
 christian burial;" with, thisthc soldier 
 jumped up, which so frightened 
 Tom, that he began to roar out, 
 "thieves! murder! fire! fire!" The 
 cry of fire alarmed the inhabitant;*, 
 who, some dressed, and others almost 
 naked, for it W'as still early, crouding 
 about the prison, and the cry of fire 
 being repeated by Tom, they called 
 up the prison-keeper, who on unlock- 
 ing the prison-door, Tom sprrmg out 
 ill his shirt, and running down the 
 street, informed the gaping multitude, 
 that he had seen the devil in the pri- 
 son, in the shape of a dead soldier. 
 
 Aiiecdote. 
 
 A COUNTRY attorney happened 
 to be at a tavern with an honest pea- 
 sant, and was very facetious at the 
 countryman's expense. They never- 
 t'leless agreed to try for a bottle of 
 wine who could make the best rhyme. 
 The lawyer inquired the peasant's oc- 
 cupation, who cbearfully informed 
 him he was a weaver, upon which the 
 lawyer wrote these lines: 
 
 The world, tboKgh large, is bnt a span, 
 It tabes niae weavers to make a maa. 
 
 The weaver, in his turn, inquired 
 the lawyer's occupation, and being 
 informed, I thought, says he, you 
 were of the law by the glibness of 
 vour tongue; but since you have 
 rhymed about the world, so will I too, 
 aud then he wrote. 
 
 The world is wide, and full of evil, 
 j^ad half a lawyer makes a devil. 
 
 Anecdote of Cruelty, 
 AS the Emperor Basilius Maredo 
 was hunting, in which he took great 
 delight, a great stag running furiously 
 against him, fastened one of the 
 branches of his horns in the emperor's 
 girdle, and dragged him a good dis- 
 tance, to the imminent danger of his 
 
 life ; which a gentleman of the retinue 
 perceiving, drew his sword, and cut 
 the emperor's girdle asunder, which 
 disengaged him from the beast, with 
 little or no hurt to his person. But 
 observe the reward — he was sentenced 
 to death, for putting his sword so near 
 the person of the emperor! and suf* 
 fered accordingly. 
 
 A Story-Teller, 
 
 A GREAT teller of stories was iH 
 the midst of one of them at his even- 
 ing club, wheu notice was brought 
 him, that a ship, in which he was go- 
 ing to the West-Indies, was on the 
 point of sailing ; he was therefore 
 obliged to leave ofi^ abruptly, but on 
 his return from Jamaica, some years 
 afterwards, he repaired to the club, 
 and taking possession of his old seat, 
 by the fire side, resumed his tale, 
 " Gentlemen, as I was saying—" 
 
 Anecdote, 
 A TRAVELLER, a few days ago, 
 on the road between Wrexham and 
 lluahon, had his attention suddenly 
 arrested by the appearance of a bull 
 drawing a cart, led by an ass ! — An 
 honest Welchman, passing at the same 
 moment, archly exclaimed, "Ah, 
 poor John Bull, hur is sorry to see 
 thee follow such company." 
 
 Professional Tmsts. 
 
 THE schoolmasters of London held 
 a meeting in the year 1 7^4, and after 
 dinner the following toasts were given 
 from the chair, with three times threie: 
 
 Addition to the whigs! 
 
 Subtraction from the tories ! 
 
 Multiplication to the friends of 
 peace ! 
 
 Division to its enemies ! ' 
 
 Reduction to abuses! 
 
 Rule of Three to king, lords, aod 
 commons! 
 
 Practice to reformation ! 
 
 Fellowship to the patriots ! 
 
 Discount to the national debt ! 
 
 Decimal Fractions to the clergy !
 
 Interestwg Narratives, Emmas, Epigrams, Poetry, ^c. 42^ 
 
 Classic Bulls. 
 
 MILTON. 
 
 " God and his Son except, 
 
 Created thing uor valued lie nor feared. 
 
 ANOTHER. 
 
 " Adam the goodliest of men sinee 6orn, 
 His sons, the fairest if her daugbttrSjEve." 
 
 ANOTHHR. 
 
 " Who will tempt with veanderinpifeet 
 Tlie dark unbottom'd, inliiiite abyss, 
 Or through the palpable «6«cure,fiad ont 
 His nucouth way." 
 
 ANOTHER. 
 
 «' The deeds themselves, though mute, spoke 
 loud the doer." 
 
 SHAKSPEARS. 
 
 *' I will strive with things, impossible, 
 Yea get the belter of them?' 
 
 DR. JOHNSON. 
 
 " Turn from the glltt'ring bribe your scorn- 
 ful eye, 
 Nor sell for gold what gold can never buy." 
 
 ANOTHER. 
 
 " Shakspeare basnet only shown hnman 
 nature as it is, but as it would be found in 
 situations, to which it cannot be exposed." 
 
 ANOTHER. 
 
 In his tour to the Hebrides, he says, 
 '' these observations were made by favour 
 of a contrary wind.''' And elsewhere, " The 
 Scottish dialect is likely to become in half 
 a centory provincial and rustic even to 
 themselves." 
 
 ANOTHER. 
 
 In bis life of Pope he observes, that every 
 monumental inscription should be in Latin; 
 for that being a dead language, it will aU 
 ways lice, 
 
 POPE. 
 
 On an eagle and her young. 
 
 " Eight callow iufantsiill'd the mossy nest, 
 Herself the ninth." 
 
 ANOTHERi 
 
 " When first yonng Maro, in his noble mind, 
 A work t' outlast immortalRomedesiga'd." 
 
 " Obey'd as sovereign by the subjects be, 
 But know that I alone am king of me." 
 
 ANOTHER. 
 
 <» A horrid silence first invades the ear.'* 
 
 THOMSON. 
 
 " He saw her charming, but he saw not half 
 Th* charms her dowacast modesty con- 
 ceal 'A, " 
 
 VIRGIL. 
 
 " Moriamnr et in media arna mamas." 
 
 HOME. 
 
 " The river, rnsbing o'er its pebbled bed. 
 Imposes silence with a stilly sound." 
 
 OREV. 
 
 " To each their suff 'rings; all arcmeUj 
 
 Condemn'd alike to groan ; 
 The feeling for another's woes, 
 
 Til' unfeeling for their own.'* 
 
 Epitaph in Lincoln Cathedral. 
 
 HERE Ij-eth the body of 
 
 Michael Honeywood, D. D. 
 
 Who was grand-child, and one ef the 
 
 Three hundred and sixty.*even persons. 
 
 That Mary, the wife of Robert Honeywood, 
 
 Esq. 
 
 Did see before she died» 
 
 Lawfully descended from her, 
 
 vir. 
 
 Sixteen of herown body, U4grand-children, 
 
 288 of the third generation, and 9 of the 
 
 fourth. 
 
 Mrs. Honeywood 
 
 Died in the year 1605, 
 
 And in the 18th year of her age. 
 
 Epitaph at Donoaster, in Yorkshire. 
 
 HOWE, Howe, who is here? 
 I Ronis of Doncastere, 
 And Mahgaret my fere :• 
 That I spent, that I bad. 
 That 1 gave, that I have. 
 That I left, that 1 lost. 
 • An old term for wife. A. D. 1519, 
 
 On Bribery. 
 
 A POOR man once a judge besought 
 
 To judge aright his cause, 
 And with a pot of oil salutes 
 
 This judger of the laws. 
 «Aly friend," qnolh he, <'thy cause is good;'* 
 
 He, glad away did trudge; 
 Anon his weathy foe did come 
 
 Before this partial judge. 
 A hog, well fed, this churl presents, 
 
 And craves a strain of law; 
 The hog receiv'd, the poor man's right 
 
 Was'judg'd not worth a straw. 
 Therewith he cry'd, '>' O partial judgi 
 
 " Thy doom has me undone ; 
 « When oil I gave, my cause was good, 
 
 « But now to ruin run." 
 " Poor man," quoth he, " I thee forgot, 
 
 " And see thy cause of foil ; 
 " A hog came since into my hoase, 
 
 <: And broke thy pot of oil."
 
 430 Literar}/ Curiosities ^Eintaphs, Wonderful Events ^ 
 
 Massacre of Lords XVI. late King of 
 France^ who suffered on the ScaJ- 
 fold, January the 2Ut, 1793. 
 
 DECREE of the National Conven- 
 tion, ofthelbth, nth, igth, and 
 ZOth of January, 1 793. 
 Article I.-^-The National Conven- 
 tion declares Louis Capet, last king 
 of the French, guilty of a conspiracy 
 against the liberty of the nation, and 
 of a crime against the general safely 
 of the state. 
 
 II. — The National Convention, de- 
 clares, that Louis Capet shall undergo 
 the punishment oi death. 
 
 III. — The National Convention de- 
 clares, that the act of Louis Capet, 
 brought to the bar by his counsel, and 
 termed an appeal to the nation on 
 the sentence passed against him in the 
 Convention, is null ; and forbids every 
 person from giving it authority, on 
 pain of being prosecuted, and punish- 
 ed as guilty of a crime against the 
 general safety of the republic. 
 
 IV'. — -The temporal executive coun- 
 cil shall notify th» present decree, 
 within the day, to Louis Capet, and 
 shall take the necessary measures of 
 police p.nd safety to secure its execu- 
 tion within twenty-four hours, reckon- 
 ing from the notification, and shall 
 render an account of the whole to the 
 National Convention immediately af- 
 ter its execution. 
 
 Report of the Council ivho comnmni- 
 cated the Decree to Louis. 
 
 The executive council, was con- 
 voked and assembled at a very early 
 hour this morning, in order to consult 
 on the execution of a decree relative 
 lo Louis Capet. 
 
 'Jlic council then sent for the mayor 
 of 1*aris, the commandant geneial, 
 the president, and the accusateur 
 public of the criminal tribunal: At'tfr 
 having consulted with these consti- 
 tuted authorities, the minister of jus- 
 tice, the president of the executive 
 
 council, a member of the council, the 
 secretary of the council, and two 
 members of the department repaired 
 to the tower in the temple. 
 
 At two o'clock ihey were conducted 
 before Louis, to whom the minister of 
 justice, as president of the executive 
 council spoke as follows: 
 
 Louis, the executive council hath 
 charged us to notify to you the ex- 
 tracts of {he proces-verbal of the Na- 
 tional Conveiiii«»n of the 15th, I7th, 
 of the present month : the secretary 
 will now read them. — (On this the 
 secretary of the executive council 
 read three above articles.) 
 
 Louis then observed, that he had 
 something to say ; on which he 
 look out the following requisition, 
 written with, and signed by bis own 
 hand. 
 
 " I demand a delay of three days, 
 in order to enable me to appear be- 
 fore Almighty God ; and the better 
 to effect thi^, I request leave to call 
 to my aid the ex-bishop of Fermont, 
 who lodges at No. 483, Rue de Bacq. 
 
 "I demand that his person be pro- 
 tected from all manner of insult, in 
 order that he may be enabled to de- 
 liver himself, without fear, to the work 
 of charity which he is about to be 
 emplojed in, wilh respect to me. 
 
 " I demand to be freed from the 
 perpetual inspection which the general 
 council of the commons has made use 
 of towards me for some time past. 
 
 " I demand, that during this in- 
 terval, I may be permitted to see my 
 family, without any witness, every 
 time that I solicit this permission. 
 
 " I desire that the National Con- 
 vention may deliberate immediately 
 about the fata of my family, and that 
 they may be permitted to retire where- 
 ever they please. 
 
 " I recommend all the persons who 
 were attached to me to the care and 
 protection of the nation. There are 
 many of tkem who have expended the 
 whole of their fortunes ii\ order to
 
 Intei^esting Narratives^ Enigmas^ Epigrams, Poetry, 8fQ. 431 
 
 purchase iheiv places, and must con- 
 sequently be in great distress. 
 
 " Among my pensioners are a great 
 number of old men, and of poor peo- 
 ple burthened with large families, who 
 have not any thing to subsist on but 
 the allowance which I paid them. 
 
 " Given «t the Tower in the Temple, 
 Jan. 20, 1703, 
 
 (^Signed) " LOUIS." 
 
 The Convention having heard the 
 report of the minister, decrees. 
 
 That the respite demanded byLouis 
 shall not be granted. 
 
 That the vi<4ilance of the munlcipa- j- 
 lity shall be continued in the chamber 
 adjoining that of Louis. Respecting 
 the other points, the Convention pas- 
 ses to the order of the day, consider- 
 ing that the committee of legislation 
 is competent thereto. 
 
 Orders f(yr the Day — Jan. CO, 1793. 
 Second Year of the Republic. 
 
 The provisional executive council, 
 after deliberating on the measures to 
 be taken, in order to execute the de- 
 crees of the National Convention of 
 the 1 5th, 1 7th, 1 9th, and '20th of Jan. 
 1793, has ordered as follows : 
 
 L — That the execution of the judg- 
 ment of Louis Capet shall take place 
 to-giorrow, Monday the 21st. 
 
 n. — The place of execution shall 
 be La Place de laRevolution, ci-devant 
 jLuuis XV. between the pedestal and 
 the,Elysian Fields. 
 
 in. — Louis Capet shall leave the 
 temple by eight o'clock in the morn- 
 ing, and the execution shall take place 
 at noon. 
 
 IV. — Commissaries from the de- 
 partment at Paris, commissaries from 
 the municipality, and two members 
 of the tribunal criminal, shall assist 
 at the execution. The secretary of 
 the tribunal shall draw up \\\e proces- 
 rerhali and the said commissaries 
 and members of the tribunal, imme- 
 diately after the execution, shall ren- 
 
 der an account of it to the council* 
 who will remain in permanent during 
 the whole day. 
 
 V. — Louis Capet shall pass by the 
 Boulevards to the place of execution. 
 
 By the executive provincial coun- 
 cil, Roland, Claviere, Monge, Lebrun, 
 Garat, 
 
 By order of the Council, 
 
 GRONVILLE, Secretary. 
 
 On which the Period of his Fate, and 
 the Day of Execution, took place, 
 and ivas as follows: 
 
 At six o'clock in the morning he 
 took his last farewell of the queen and 
 royal family, and was with thera 
 some time ; the parting was affecting 
 to -the last degree; the distress of the 
 queen passed all description. He left 
 the temple agreeable to the instruc- 
 tions from the provincial council, at 
 eight o'clock, at which time the 
 mournful procession set out from 
 the temple. The royal victim sat in 
 the mayor's carriage, with his confes- 
 sor by his side, praying very fervently, 
 and two captains of the national litrht 
 horse on the front seat. The carri- 
 age was drawn by two black horses, 
 preceded by the mayor. General San- 
 terre, and other municipal officers. 
 One squadron of horse, with trum- 
 pets and kettle-drums, led the van of 
 this melancholy convoy ; three heavy 
 I pieces of ordnance, with proper 
 implements, and cannoneers, with 
 lighted matches, went before the ve- 
 hicle, which was escorted on both 
 sides by a treble row of troopers. 
 
 The train moved on with a slow 
 pace from the temple to the Boule- 
 vards, which was planted with can- 
 non, and beset with national guards, 
 drums beating, trumpets soundin^, 
 and colours flying. The guillotine 
 was erected in the middle of the 
 square, directly facing the gate of the 
 garden of the Thuillieres between the 
 pedestal on which the grandfather of 
 Louis was standing, before the 10th of
 
 432 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events^ 
 
 August, anfl the avenues which lead to 
 the groves called the Elysian Fields. 
 The trotting and neighing of horses, 
 the shrill sound of the trumpet, and 
 the continual beating of drums, pierc- 
 ed the ears «f every beholder, and 
 heightened the terrors of the awful 
 scene. 
 
 The scaffold was high and conspi- 
 cuous, and the houses surrounding 
 the place of execution were full of 
 ■Women, who looked through the win- 
 dows. The very slates which covered 
 the roofs were raised for the curious 
 and interested to peep through. 
 
 The king alighted from the carriage 
 at twenty minutes past ten. His hair 
 was dressed in curls, his beard shaved; 
 he Wore a clean shirt and stock, 
 a white waistcoat, black floren- 
 tine silk breeches, black silk stockings, 
 and his shoes were tied with black 
 silk strings. At the foot of the seal- 
 fold he threw off his coat himself, an<! 
 finding some difficulty in unbuckling 
 his stock, he calmly thanked a by- 
 stander who assisted him.— His hai.- 
 was then cut off, when he took leave 
 of his confessor, who shfd a thousand 
 tears on this mournful occasion ; but 
 roused the king with these animating 
 expressions: "farewell, Louis ! as- 
 cend the scaffold, and go to heaven." 
 He then ascended the steps of the 
 scaffold with heroic assurance, and 
 every feature of his majestic counte- 
 nance bespoke the calm serenity of 
 conscious innocence, and the heroic 
 fortitude of a christian. Having 
 walked half round the horrid prepara- 
 tions, he then beckoned with his hand 
 to be heard ; the noise of the warlike 
 instruments ceased for a moment; but 
 soon after a thousand voices vocife- 
 rated, with detestable ferocity, *' No 
 speeches ! No harangues !" The un- 
 fortunate monarch wrung his hands — 
 lifted them up towards heaven — and 
 with agony in his eye and gesture, 
 exclaimed, distinctly enough to be 
 heard by those persons who were next 
 
 to the scaffold, " to thee, O God, 
 do I commend my soul ! I forgive my 
 enemies! I die innocent !" 
 
 He was then seized by the execu* 
 tioners, dressed in black, who directly 
 laid bim upon his belly oa the bench, 
 and lifted up the upper part of the 
 board, which was to receive his neck, 
 adjusted to his head properly, then 
 shut the board, and pulled the string 
 which is fastened to the peg at the 
 top of the machine, which lifted up 
 a latch, and down came the axe ; the 
 head was off in a moment, and tell 
 into a basket which was ready to re- 
 ceive it ; theexecutioneer took it out 
 by the hair, to show the populace and 
 then put it into another basket along 
 with the body. — The final part of his 
 execution was exactly twenty-two 
 minutes past ten. 
 
 After his head was cut off, the Sans 
 Culottes and Jacebines waved their 
 hats in the air, exclaiming Five la 
 Nation ! Vive la Repuhlique ! The 
 music struck up Ca Ira, and the body 
 was immediately removed in a black 
 coffin.— The procession returned to 
 the temple in full i;allop, and the 
 sworn deputies went to make their 
 report. 
 
 Louis made a will, in which he ask- 
 ed pardon of God, for having sanction- 
 ed the decree upon the civil consti- 
 tution of the clergy, although this 
 sanction was extorted by violence; and 
 was contrary to his solemn pmtest. 
 
 In this testament, Louis acknow- 
 ledges his having freely accepted all 
 the other parts of the constitution; 
 and having neglected nothing to re- 
 move from his dominiens the scourge 
 of war, and prevent the invasion of 
 the Prussians. 
 
 In a previous decree made by the 
 National Convention, the place for 
 putting their inhuman sentence into 
 execution was to have been the ca- 
 rousel, fronting the palace of the 
 Thuillieres. This was changed by the 
 ministers, to whom all the arrange*
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetrij, Sjc. 433 
 
 meiits were confided, to the Place de 
 !a Kevoliilion, heretofore Louis XV. 
 
 This city resembled an immense 
 camp; the sections and federates 
 Were marchinir and counter-marching 
 through the ditterent districts; — they 
 had tiieir watch word ; —they wheeled 
 louu'J wherever one corps met the 
 other. They carried with them up- 
 wards of 1 .53 pieces of heavy artillery, 
 and it made a most imposing specta- 
 cle. They were constantly in motion, 
 and could not stand still five minutes. 
 
 During the exhibition of the horrid 
 scene, all Paris was in conbttrnation. 
 
 The commissaries of the temple 
 found in the king's desk some gold 
 coin, to the amount of 3000 livres. 
 It was done up in rouleaus, and on 
 them was written, "To M. Male- 
 sherbes." This grateful bequest of 
 the deceased monarch was not com- 
 plied with — the money was deposited 
 in the secretary's oftice. 
 
 The following anecdotes shew that 
 for some time past he had been ex- 
 pecting his fate, — Louis saw his last 
 moment approaching with coolness 
 and tranquillity. It is long since he 
 resolved to sacrifice life. 
 
 Two years ago, M. de Liancourt re- 
 presenting to Louis, that the modifica- 
 tions and the veto which he tpposed 
 to certaia degrees might be dangerous : 
 " What can they do r" replied Lcuis, 
 " They will put me to death — well, I 
 shall obtain an immortal for a mortal 
 crown." 
 
 The other anecdote is more recent, 
 and proves, like the former, that Louis 
 never feared death. — On the day that 
 Deseze made his defence in the Con- 
 vention, Malesherbes, in a conversa- 
 tion which he had with Louis in the 
 evening, wished to prepare him for 
 the event by hinting that his defence 
 might not be attended with the de- 
 sired eflfect, and that the issue of the 
 trial was uncertain. " I understand 
 you," replied Louis, ** but my resolu- 
 tion is already taken. I see, without 
 
 fear, my last hour approaching; and 
 I shall lay my head on the block with- 
 out uneasiness. You perha}>s will be 
 surprised when I tell you (hat my wife 
 and my sister think exactly as I do." 
 
 The last requests of the unfortunate 
 Louis breathed the soul of magnanimi-» 
 ty, and a mind enlightened with the 
 finest ideas of human virtue. He 
 appears not to be that man which his 
 enemies reported. His heart was 
 souad, his head was clear, and he 
 would have reigned w ith glory, had he 
 but possessed those faults vvhich his 
 assassins laid to his charge,— His 
 mind possessed the suggestions of wis- 
 dom ; and even in his last moments, 
 when the spirit of life was winged for 
 another world, his lips gave utterance 
 to them, and he spoke with firmness 
 and resignation. 
 
 Thus has ended tbe life of Louis 
 XVI. after a period of four years de- 
 tention ; during which he experienced 
 from his subjects every species of ig- 
 nominy and cruelty, which a people 
 could inflict on the most sanguinary 
 tyrant. — Louis XVI. who was pro- 
 claimed at the commencement of his 
 reign, " The friend of the people ;'* 
 and by the constituent assembly, 
 "The restorer of their liberties."—* 
 Louis, who but a few years since was 
 the most powerful monarch in Europe, 
 has at last perished on a scaffold. — 
 Neither his own natural goodness of 
 heart — his desire to procure the !)ap- 
 pitiess of his subjects — nor that ancient 
 love which the French entertained foB 
 their monarch, has been sufficient to 
 save him from this cruel sacrifice. 
 
 The Mistake. 
 
 DURING the great fog in the 
 year 1794, the doke of Clarence 
 coming out of Drury-lane theatre, by 
 mistakg, stepped into Mrs. Jordan's 
 carriage, and was taken home to that 
 lady's house I 
 3K
 
 434 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Queen j£lizabeih» 
 
 THERE are few great personages 
 in liistory, wlio have been more ex- 
 posed to the cahininy of enemies, ami 
 the adulation of friends, than queer- 
 EHzabeth ; and yet there are scarc^ 
 any, whose reputation has been morr 
 certainly determined by the tmani- 
 mous consent of posterity. The un- 
 usual length of her administration, 
 and the stroug features of her charac- 
 ter, were able to overcome all preju- 
 dices; and, obliging her detractor: 
 to abate much of their invectives, 
 and her admirers somewhat of their 
 paneijvrics, have at last, in spite of 
 political factions, and, what is more, 
 of religious animosities, produced a 
 uniform judgment with regard to her 
 conduct. 
 
 Her vigour, her constancy, her 
 magnanimity, her penetration, and vi- 
 gileuce, are allowed to merit the high- 
 est praise, and appear not to have 
 been surpassed by any person who 
 ever filled a throne. A conduct less 
 vigorous, less imperious, more sincere, 
 more indulgent to her people, would 
 have been requisite to form a perfect 
 character. By the force of her mind 
 «he controlled all her more active 
 and stronger qualities, and prevented 
 them from miming into excess. Her 
 heroism was exenipt from all temerity, 
 her frugality from avarice, her friend- 
 ship from partiality, her active spirit 
 from turbulence and a vain ambition. 
 She guarded not herself with equal 
 care or equal success from less infirmi- 
 ties ; the rivalship of beauty, the de- 
 sire of admiration, the jealousy of 
 love, and the sallies of anger. 
 
 Her singular talents for government 
 were founded equally on her temper 
 and on her capacity. Endowed with 
 a great coinmHiid of herself, she ob- 
 tained an uncontrolled ascendant 
 over lier people ; and while she merit- 
 ed all their esteem by her real virtues^ 
 she also engaged their aft'ectioii by 
 ker pretended ones. 
 
 Few sovereigns of England succeed- 
 ed to the throne in more difiHcnlt cir- 
 cumstances : and none ever conducted 
 the government with such uniform 
 success and felicity. Though unac- 
 quainted with the practice of tolera- 
 tion, the true secret of managing re- 
 ligious factions, she preserved her peo- 
 ple, by her superior prudence, from 
 those coufusions in which theological 
 controversy had Involved all the neigh- 
 bouring nations : and though her 
 enemies were the most powerful prin- 
 ces in Europe, the most active, the 
 most enterprising, the least scrupulous, 
 she was able by her vigour to make 
 deep impressions on their states ; her 
 own greatness meanwiiile remaining 
 untouched and unimpaired. 
 
 The wise ministers and brave war- 
 riors, who flourished under her reign, 
 share the praise of her success ; but 
 instead of lessening the applause due 
 to her, they make great addition to 
 it. They owed all of them their ad- 
 vancement to her choice ; they were 
 supported by her constancy ; and with 
 all their abilities, they were never able 
 to acquire any undue ascendant over 
 her. In her family, in her court, in 
 her kingdom, she remained equally 
 mistress. The force of her tender 
 oassions was great over her, but the 
 force of her mind was still superior ; 
 and the combat which her victory vi- 
 sibly cost her, serves only to display 
 ihe firnmess of her resolution, and the 
 loftiness of her ambitious sentiments. 
 The fame of this princess, though 
 it has surmounted the prejudices both 
 of faction and bigotry, yet lies still 
 exposed to another prejudice, which 
 is more durable, because more natu- 
 ral ; and which, according to the dif- 
 ferent views in which we survey her, 
 is capable either of exalting beyond 
 measure, or diminishing the lustre of 
 her character. This prejudice is 
 founded on the consideration of her 
 ^cx. When we contemplate her as a 
 woman, we are apt to be struck with 
 the highest admiratiou of kcr great
 
 Interesting Narratwes, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetn/^ ^e. 433 
 
 dualities and extensive capacity : bu 
 we are apt also to require some nior» 
 softness of dispositioH, some greater 
 lenity of temper, some of tliose ami 
 able weaknesses by wliich her sex is 
 distinguished. 
 
 But tlie trae method of estimating 
 her merit is, lo lay aside all these 
 considerations, and consider her mere- 
 ly as a rational being, placed in au- 
 thority, and intrusted with the govern- 
 ment of mankind. We may find it 
 difficult to reconcile our fancy to her 
 as a wife, or a mistress: but her quali- 
 ties as a sovereign, though with some 
 disputed objections, are the object of 
 undisputed applause and approbation. 
 
 Elizabeth died March the 24th, 
 1603, aged 70, having reigned 4.1 
 years, 4 months and S days. 
 
 Bishop Herring. 
 
 THE late Bishop Herring, not more 
 remarkable for learning than benevo- 
 lence, being applied to by a poor cu- 
 rate for his interest, to continue under 
 any new rector he should appoint, told 
 the man he was so much struck with 
 his humility, and aftected by his si- 
 tuation, that he should have the liv- 
 ing himself.— •« Shall I by G— ," said 
 the transported curate, in the fullness 
 of his heart. " By the living God, 
 you shall," replied the good bishop. 
 
 Tythes in Kind, 
 
 IN a parish not 100 miles from 
 Shepton-Mallet, in Somersetshire, the 
 spiritual pastor lately, with that lau- 
 dable attention to his temporal inte- 
 rests, from which no class of men are 
 exempted, claimed the tenth of every 
 stock of bees. The owner was rather 
 startled at the demand, but at length 
 appeared to acquiesce in the justice of 
 it. He, however, adopted a meihod 
 of proceeding, which fully convinced 
 the parson that the sweetest honey 
 kas its bitters. One evening, when 
 
 tii«ie was a great deal «>f company at 
 the parsonage, a fellow arrived from 
 the bee owner, with a hive curiously 
 concealed under a napkin, and in- 
 sisted on delivering his charge in per- 
 son to the master. ** I be come with 
 the bees," said Hodge. " The bees," 
 exclaimed the parson; "the bees I" 
 echoed the company. 
 
 *' Good God," added his reverence, 
 " could you not have left them with- 
 out?" " Noa," answered the other; 
 " measter says, if a's to vuid thee bees, 
 and be rot to thee, a eant to vind 
 thee hives :" and immediately giving 
 a smart stroke to the top of the wick- 
 er receptacle, its numerous inhabi- 
 tants instantly dislodged themselves, 
 and filled the room with confusion, 
 than can oetter be imagined than 
 described. The poor parson was 
 stung to the quick. 
 
 Recent Anecdote, 
 
 A COUPLE of Leicester sportsmen 
 were beating the meadows about 
 Aylstoue, and one of them taking aim 
 at a snipe, brought it down en the 
 other side of the canal which has been 
 lately cut near that place, and con- 
 tains water breast high. Unable to 
 cross the water, and come at their 
 prize, they engaged a working-man 
 for sixpence, to strip and carry them 
 over. The fellow performed his en- 
 gagement with one of them, and then, 
 after carrying our other sportsman 
 as far as the middle of the water, 
 he declared he woald set him down 
 in that place, unless he would give 
 him a shilling. This being positively 
 refused, the man kept his word, and 
 throwing his rider off" his shoulders 
 into the water, ran off. Our sports- 
 man, who is esteemed a good shot, 
 however took his revenge, for, as 
 the fellow was mounting the bank, 
 he discharged his fowling piece, and 
 lodged the whole coatentu in his po3 
 leriors. 
 
 3 i^ 2
 
 436 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events, 
 
 Homers Pardon. 
 
 IT happened on a certain time, 
 
 Two sinners who had spent their prime 
 
 Of youth iu very wickedness, 
 
 Came to (lie pope for to confess ; 
 
 Of which tlie one had riches store, 
 
 Theother wicked wretch was poor; 
 
 Eot both grown old, had now a mind 
 
 To die in peace with all mankind ; 
 
 And go to heaven an easier way 
 
 Than those who all their life-time pray ; 
 
 Which may effected he, they hope, 
 
 By buyiag pardon of the pope. 
 
 So calling fresh to mind their sins^ 
 
 The rich ofiender thus begins: 
 
 <' Most holy father, I have been, 
 
 ** I must confess, ib many a sin; 
 
 " All laws divine I thought a joke; 
 
 " All human laws for interest broke; 
 
 <' And to increase my ill-got store, 
 
 ?' Thought 'twns no sin t' oppress the poor, 
 
 <' To cheat (he rich, betray my friends, 
 
 ** Or any thing to gain my ends. 
 
 f* But now ffrovTD old, and near to die* 
 
 •* I do repent most heartily 
 
 '< Of all my vile ofi'Vnces past, 
 
 <' And in particular <i;e last ; 
 
 " Bj which I wickedly beguiPd 
 
 " My dead friend's son, and guardian child; 
 
 " Of all his dear paternal store. 
 
 " Which was teplbousaud pounds firniore, 
 
 " Who since is Rtarv'd to death for want. 
 
 " I now sincerely ilo repent, 
 
 *' As that your holiness may see, 
 
 •* One half that sum I've brought to thee; 
 
 " And thus 1 cast it at your feet, 
 
 " Dispose of it at you think meet ; 
 
 *' To pious uses, oryonrown, 
 
 " I hope it will my sins atone." 
 
 " Friend," quoth the pope, " I'm glad to see 
 
 " Such true repentance wrought in thee; 
 " But as yonr sins are very great, 
 *' Yon have not half repented yet; 
 " Nor can your pardon be obtain'd, ^ 
 
 " Unless the whole you thus havegain'dV 
 " To pious uses be ordain'd. j 
 
 " All!" quftth the man, T thought that half 
 *' Had been a pretty sum cnongh." 
 Nay, quoth the pope, sir, if you hum 
 And taw at parting with that sum. 
 Go keep it, do ; and damn your soul ; 
 I tell you I must have the w hole ; 
 'Tis not a little thing procures 
 A pardon for such sins as your's. 
 " Well, rather than be doom'd to go 1 
 " To dwell with everlasting woe, C 
 
 " One wou'd give any thing you kno\r."S 
 So t'other half was thrown down to't, 
 And then he soon obtain'd the suit; 
 A pardon for his sins was given, 
 And home he went, assur'd of beaven> 
 And now the poor man bends his knee I 
 '* Most holy father pardon m.e, 
 " A poor and humble penitent J 
 
 " Who all my substance vilely spent. 
 
 " In ev'ry wanton, youthful pleasure, 
 
 " And now I suffer out of measure ; 
 
 " With dire diseases being fraught, 
 
 " Also so poor, not worth a groat." 
 
 Poor! quoth the pope, then cease your suit, 
 
 Indeed you may as well be mute ; 
 
 Forbear your now too late contrition, ' 
 
 Your in a reprobate condition. 
 
 What ! spent your wealth, and from the 
 
 whole 
 Not left a sous to save the sonl? 
 Oh ! you're a sinner, and a hard one, 
 I wonder you can ask a pardon. 
 Friend, they 're nothadwithoutyonbay'em; 
 You're therefore damn'd as sure as I am 
 Vicegerent to the king of heaven. 
 No, no; such sins can't be forgiven; 
 I cannot save you if I you would. 
 Nor v?ould I save you if I could ; 
 Had you but money me to give, 
 You need not fear but yon should live; 
 But as it is yon sure will die, 
 YoH know I speak infallibly. 
 Home goes the man in deep despair. 
 And died soon after became there ; 
 And went to hell 'tis said ; but sure 
 He was not damn'd for being poor. 
 But long he had not been below. 
 Before he saw his friend come too ; 
 At this he was in great surprize. 
 And scarcely cou'd believe his eyes. 
 What, friend, said he, are you come too ?^ 
 I thought the pope had pardon'd you. ^ 
 Yes, said the man, 1 thought so too; 3 
 But I was by the pope trepann'd ; 
 The devil cou'd not read his hand. 
 
 A Paradox. 
 
 MY husband's my uncle, my father's my 
 
 brother; 
 I also am sister unto my own mother; 
 I am sister and aunt to a brother called Ned, 
 Who is idle and poor, and makes shoes for 
 
 his bread. 
 Four children I've got, and look for another, 
 And am granny to one that was got by my 
 
 brother : 
 I've a daughter nam'rf Phofibe, whose sister 
 
 I am; 
 My own brother's my son, bis name it 19 
 
 Sam. 
 
 An Epitaph in Falkstone Church-Yard, 
 
 AN bouse he bath, 'tis made of such good 
 
 fashion. 
 The tenant never shall pay for reparation ; 
 Nor will his landlord ever raise his rent, 
 Nor turn him out ofdoors for non-payment. 
 From heavy taxes too this cell is free : 
 To juch an bouse, who would not tenant be?
 
 IntereattTig Ncwratires, Enigrnaft^ Epfffrains, Poetrij^ S^c. 
 
 LION HU-NTING. 
 
 Extracted from the Sequel to the Ad- 
 ventures of Baron iMimchuusai. 
 
 THE baron, after relating a nnni- 
 ber of wonderful stories, calculated 
 as Bayes says, *' to elevate and sur- 
 prise," tiansporfs himself in an ark to 
 Africa; where he has given Jiis inu*i.'i- 
 iiation as nuul) scope, as any of the 
 huntsmen or anglers, of whose talents 
 at rreafing facts, we have such ample 
 testimony. 
 
 Havujg landed (says the baron) our 
 whole retiuiie, we ininiediatel) beijun 
 to proceed towards Ihe heart of Afri- 
 ca ; but Hrst ihouglit it expedieut tu 
 place a nuHiber of wheels under the 
 ark for its greater facility of advance- 
 ing. We travelled nearly due north 
 f«r several days, and met with nothing 
 remarkable, except the astonishnieiit 
 of the natives to behold our equipage. 
 The Dutch government at the Cape, 
 to do them justice, gave us every pos- 
 sible assistance for the expedition. J 
 presume they had received instructions 
 on that head from their high-mighti- 
 nesses in Httlland. However, they 
 presented us with a specimen of some 
 of their Cape wines, and shewed us 
 every politeness in their power. As 
 to the face of the country, as we ad- 
 vanced, it appeared in many places 
 capable of every cultivation, and of 
 abundant fertility. The natives and 
 Hottentots of this part of Africa 
 have been frequently described by 
 travellers, and therefore it is not ne- 
 cessary to say any more about them; 
 but, in the more interior parts of 
 Africa, the appearance, manners, and 
 genius of the people are totally dif- 
 ferent. 
 
 We directed our course by the com- 
 pass and the stars, getting every day 
 prodigious quantities of game in the 
 woods, and at night encamping within 
 a proper inclosure for fear of the wild 
 beasts. One whole day in j)articular, 
 ive heard ou every side araono the hills, 
 
 the horrible' roaring of lions, resound- 
 iug from rock to rock like broken 
 thunder. It see!i)ed as if there was a 
 general rendezvous of all these savage 
 dnimals, to tull u|)< n our jrarty. I'hat 
 uhnie day we advanced \*ith caution, 
 otsr hunters scarcely venturing beyond 
 pistol-shot from the caravan, for fear 
 of (iissoluticn. At night we encamped, 
 as usual, and tluew uj) a circular en- 
 trenchment round cur tents. 
 
 We had hardly relived to repose, 
 when we found ourselves st-renaded 
 by at least one thousand lions, ap- 
 i>roaching equally on every si<!e, 
 within a hundred paces. Our cattle 
 bhewed the most liornbie symptonrs 
 of fear, all trenib!in<r, and in c-old 
 [){.rbpiration. I directly ordered the 
 whole company to stand to tiitir arms, 
 and not to make any noise, or tire un- 
 til I should command them. I then 
 took a lar^e quantity of tar, v^hich I 
 had brought \yth our caravan, for 
 that purpose, and strewed it in a con- 
 tinued stream round the encampmentj 
 within which circle of tar, I ijnuiedi- 
 ately pla>ced another train or circle of 
 gunpowder; and having taken this 
 precautioit, I anxiously waited the 
 approach of the lions. These diead- 
 ful animals, knowing I presume, the 
 force of our troop, advanced very 
 slowly, and with caution ; approach- 
 ing on every side of us with an equal 
 pace, and growling hideous in con- 
 I cert, so as to resemble an earthquake, 
 or some similar convulsion of the 
 world. 
 
 When they had at length advanced, 
 and steeped all their paws in the tar, 
 they put their noses to it, smelling it 
 as if it were blood, and daubed their 
 great bushy hair and whiskers with it 
 equal to their paws. At that very in- 
 stant, when in concert, they were go- 
 ing to give the mortal dart upon us, I 
 discharged a pistol at the train of 
 gunpowder, which instantly exploding 
 on every side, made all the lions re- 
 coil in a general uproar, aiul take to
 
 438 Literary Curiosities, Epitaplis, Wonderful Events, 
 
 flight with the utmost precipitation 
 Jn an instant we could behold tlieai 
 scattered through the woods at some 
 distance; roaring in agony, and mov- 
 ing about like so many will-o'-the- 
 wiiisps, their paws and faces all on 
 fire, from the tar and gunpowder. 
 
 I then ordered a general pursuit . 
 we followed them on every side, 
 through the woods, their own lighi 
 serving as our guide, until before the 
 rising of tlie sun, we followed into 
 their fastnesses, and shot, or other- 
 wise destroyed every one of them; 
 and during the whole of our journej 
 after, we never heard the roaring of 
 a lion; nor did any wild beast pre- 
 sume to make another attack upon 
 our party ; which shews the excel- 
 lence of imme<liate presence of mind, 
 and the terror inspired into the savage 
 enen)ies by a proper and well-timed 
 proceeding. 
 
 Anecdote of a Sailor. 
 ONE of the men who had been 
 round the world with Captain Cook, 
 soon after his return to England went 
 to [\\s naiive place, where he was con- 
 sidered as a very extraordinary per- 
 sonage, and Was invited to a club of 
 his townsnjen, who expected to be 
 greatly editied by his conversalioM, It 
 was clear, that a man who had been 
 rouud the world, must know more of 
 it than any other person; but the cir- 
 cumnavigator could give them but' 
 very little information with respect to 
 what he had seen in his voyage ; and 
 seemed to have very little to say for 
 himself, uniil some of the club began 
 to question him about the world being 
 round ; then he opened witli a tone of 
 authority ; " as to that, I'll tell you 
 what it is ; they say the world is round 
 but I have been all round il, and by 
 G — it is as Jiat as tins table." 
 
 Tenderness recommended to be shewn 
 to that 7iobk Quadruped the horse, 
 
 IT is well known that tije Arabians, 
 who iiave the tinest horses iii the world, I 
 
 never beat them ; they do not so 
 much as tit them up, they conduct 
 ihem entirely by caresses, and give 
 them full liberty, which these animals 
 lever abuse. A poor Arab of the de- 
 art, had, for the whole of his pro- 
 ;)erty, a remarkable stately iinrse. 
 The French consul, who resided at 
 Sidon, proposed to purchase it from 
 him, intending to send it to Louis 
 XIV. The Arab, pressed by want, 
 deliberated a long time; at length he 
 consented, and demanded for it a con- 
 siderable price. The consul, not 
 daring of himself to pay so large a 
 sum, wrote to Versailles to obtain 
 the leave of the court. Lquis XIV. 
 gave orders that the money should be 
 paid. 
 
 The consul instantly sent for the 
 \rab, who arrived mounted on his 
 beautiful courser, and had counted 
 out to him the gold which he had de- 
 manded. The Arab, covered with a 
 poor mat, made of twisted grass, dis- 
 mounted, his eyes fixed upon the 
 gold: he then, casting a tender look 
 upon his horse, sighed and exclaimed, 
 " to whonj am I going to deliver you ? 
 to those Europeans who will beat you, 
 who will tie you up, who will render 
 you unhappy ! return with me, my 
 beautiful creature, my dearest fa- 
 vourite, whose fleetness outstrips tiie 
 antelope, be the joy of my children I" 
 In pronouncing these words, he 
 vaulted uj)oij its back, and took the 
 road to the desart. This man was 
 actuated, i)erhaps, by a blind impulse, 
 of which he could give no account ; 
 but in this impulse how many virtues 
 display themselves ! there appears in 
 it goodness, gratitude, pity, tender- 
 ness, and generosity. That cruelty 
 which is in this country so frequently 
 |»ractised, (particularly by a merciless 
 exercise of infernal whips, on the 
 bleeding flanks and panting sides of 
 the horses wliicii are doomed to draw 
 our mail conveyances) betrays a flerce- 
 ness of temper, and hardness of heart, 
 wluch places lh« ialiabitants of the
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas, Fpigrams, Poetry, S^c. 439 
 
 most enli^hteuefl nation in the world 
 infinitely below the wildest savage. 
 
 Europeans, in general, Jis well as 
 savages, have slievvn, in many in- 
 stances, more regard for the horse 
 than the natives of tbis island ; more 
 especially if they were of a superior 
 quality. Take the following as an in- 
 stance : When Charles V. sailed in his 
 attempt against Algiers, in 15-i], his 
 fleet and the troops which were em- 
 barked on board the ships, suffered 
 hardships almost incredible. Bran- 
 tome, who heard the relation from 
 the mouth of a sufferer, says, that 
 though the officers were obliged to 
 throw overboard all their cloatlis, 
 baggage and valuables, yet nothing 
 distressed them so much as the parting 
 with their horses, which were, in ge- 
 neral, fine Spanish and Neapolitan 
 genets and coursers, so well chosen, 
 so gallant spirited, and so high prized, 
 that there was not a heart which could 
 defend itself from feeling anguish and 
 the deepest pity, at seeing these fine 
 horses struggling in vain, to save 
 themselves, by swimming through 
 the raging ocean. And the more 
 distressful was the sight, as the poor 
 animals, despairing to reach the land, 
 it being so far off, followed with their 
 utmost powers, as long as their 
 strength lasted, tJie ships and their 
 masters, who stood on the decks, 
 piieously lamenting the fate of those 
 noble creatures, which they saw pe- 
 rish before their eyes. 
 
 uppermost of them. He was allowed 
 by the company to have won the 
 stakes. 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 A BAD pointer having turned 
 physician, was asked what made him 
 alter his profession? "I thought it 
 beit" said he, " to pursue that, whose 
 blunders are hidden undtr ground !" 
 
 Anecdote en Gaming. 
 
 TWO gamesters had deposited a 
 very large stake to be won by him 
 who threw the lowest throw with the 
 dice. One of them thought himself 
 secure of success, on finding that he 
 had thrown three aces. — " Hold," 
 cried the other, "wait for ray chance." 
 He threw, and with such dexterity, 
 that by lodging one of the dice on the 
 •iher, he shewed only one ace on the 
 
 Ctnnctis Calculation. 
 
 FORINIERLY it was much the 
 fashion to make foolish and absurd 
 combinations of letters and numbers. 
 As an instance of which, the follow- 
 ing calculation may serve: wherein 
 it was thought that the number four- 
 teen had a particular relation to 
 Henry IV. of France. He was born 
 fourteen centuries, fourteen decades, 
 ajid fourteen years after Christ. He 
 came into the world the fourteenth of 
 December, and died the fourteenth of 
 I\Iay. He lived four times fourteen 
 years, four times fourteen dnys, and 
 fourteen weeks, and his name Henri 
 de Bourbon, had fourteen letters. 
 
 Bon Mot. 
 
 A GENTLEMAN was declaring in 
 a coffee-huuse, that in a i"nanai;er's 
 latu appearance, the gallery cneiV off 
 off! — and seeing Charles Bannister 
 enter, appealed to him for the confir- 
 mation of the fact: — " I think, sir, 
 (says the wag) you must be mista- 
 ken : for J only heard them call out 
 de Camp !" 
 
 The good Hoiiseivife. 
 
 WHERE will the creative genius 
 of man stop! — At Chorley, a me- 
 chanic has invented a machine to 
 thrashj vvinnoiv, and grind; it will 
 also churn, scrape potatoes, rock the 
 cradle, and darn stockings! — Hecalls 
 it the good houitwije.
 
 440 Liierarif Curio.^ities, I?q}Haplis, Wonderful Events^ 
 
 Observations and Anecdotes upon 
 great i'.attrs. 
 
 IT is sliockiniT to think a man 
 sbouid make a God ai iiis belly. Wo 
 should eat to live, and not livo to eat. 
 It has been observed, that ej)icun!«ni 
 is rather a mark of our inioerfection, 
 than of the goo(J tusle of a rational 
 being; as we cannot support our mi- 
 serable existence but at liie ]>rice of 
 the lives of other aninia} to whom our 
 bodies are sepulchres. 
 
 We find in antiquity mention is 
 made of one Milo, of Crotona, who 
 was tiie gre::test glutton of liis age, 
 and who united to his voracious apoe- 
 tite uncommon strength of body: for 
 having at the Olyni}iic Games carried 
 upon his shoulders an ox of five years 
 old, an hundred paces, lie killed hin\ 
 with a blow of his fist, and afterwards 
 devoured him. History also mentions 
 another animal of the .same species, 
 vho, m the reign of Aurelien, de- 
 voured sheep, pigs, <S:c. ajive. Some 
 years since there was a glutton of this 
 kind at Dresden, whose appetite was 
 so extraordinary that he even swal- 
 lowed stones. There is an anecdote 
 ©f one of these monsters, which hap- 
 pened at the tin»e when Prague was 
 besieged by the Swedes, under 
 Charles X. He e.at in the presence of 
 the king a hog alive; general Konigs- 
 mark was also a spectator: this veteran 
 officer told the king, the fellow was 
 a sorcerer, and that it was by enchant- 
 ment and deception that he appeared 
 to eat what in fact he did not. T|ie 
 operator being nettled at the general's 
 incredulity, told the prince, that if 
 be would command his officer to pull 
 off his sword and his spurs, he would 
 eat him alive ; which so terrified M. 
 Konigsmark, that he retired with 
 great jirecipitancy, chusing rather to 
 put up with a little confusion, than be 
 convinced at the price of his body, of 
 the goodness of this fellow's appe- 
 tite. 
 
 If our famous fire-eater had lived in 
 remote times, he would certainly have 
 been handled down as a prodigy, if 
 not a sorcerer : so that we aie to make 
 great allowance for the exaggerations 
 of historians and annalists. 
 
 There is one thing certain concern- 
 ing great eaters, that no country w ill 
 allow it is the most famous for them. 
 The French shrug up their shoulders 
 at the Germans, these are astonished 
 at ourbutto^ks of beef, and we with 
 amazement see the quantities of bread 
 and soup they swallow. But, after all, 
 it depends more upon constitution 
 than climate: people of sanguinary 
 warm dispositions are generally great 
 eaters. 
 
 On the Sea. 
 
 THE ocean, rolling its surges from 
 clime to clime, is tlie most august ob- 
 ject under the wliole heaven. It is 
 a spectacleof magnificence and terror 
 which fills the mind and amazes the 
 imagination. 
 
 Let us examine a single drop, of 
 water, only so much as will adhere 
 to the point of a needle. la this speck 
 an eminent philosopher computes no 
 less tkan thirteen thousand globules. 
 And if so many exist in so small a 
 space how many must there be in the 
 unmeasured extent of the ocean ! 
 
 It is remarkable, that sand is a 
 more effectual barrier against the sea 
 than rock; accordingly the sea is con- 
 tinually gaiaing upon a rocky shore, 
 and losing upon a sandy shore, unless 
 where it sets in with an eddy. Thus 
 it has been gaining from age to age 
 upon the isle of Portland, and the 
 Land's-end in Cornwall ; undermining, 
 throwing down, and swallowing up, 
 one huge rock after another. JNfean- 
 time the sandy shores both on our 
 southern and western coasts, gain 
 continually upon the sea. 
 
 Beneath the boundary of rocks fre- 
 quently lies a smooth level sand, al- 
 most as firm as a well-compacted
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, SfC. 441 
 
 causew ly ; insomuch that the treao 
 of a horse scarcely impresses it, aii() 
 tlie waters never penetrate it. With- 
 out this wise contrivance, the search 
 ing waves would insinuate into the 
 heart of the earth ; and the earth it- 
 self would in some places be hollow 
 as a honey-coitib, iu others bibulous 
 as a sponge. 
 Nor are the regions of the ocean with 
 out their proper inhabitants, clothei! 
 in exact conformity to the clime ; noi 
 ID swelling wool or buoyant feathers, 
 but with as much com|)actness and a 
 little superfluity as possible. Tlie\ 
 are clad, or rather sheathed, in scales 
 which adhere close, and are laid in a 
 kind of natural oil ; than which no 
 thing can be more light, and at the 
 same time nothing more solid It 
 hinders the fluid from penetratinj; 
 their flesh ; it prevents the cold from 
 chilling their blood ; and enables them 
 to make their way through the water* 
 with the utmost facility. And they 
 have each an air bladder, a curious 
 instrument, by expanding or compress- 
 ing which, they rise to what height 
 or sink to what depth they please. 
 
 It is impossible to enumerate the 
 variety of the scaly herds. Among 
 them are animals of monstrous shapes 
 and amazing qualities. The upper 
 jaw of the sword-fish is lengthened 
 into a strong and sharp sword, with 
 which, though he is not above sixteen 
 feet Ion?, he scruples not to engage 
 the whale himself. The sun-fish is 
 one round mass of flesh; only it has 
 two fins, which act the part t»f oars 
 The polypus, with its numerous feet 
 and claws, seems fitted only to crawl: 
 yet an excrescence rising on the back 
 enables it to steer a steady courr-e 
 through the waves. The shell of the 
 nautilus forms a kind of boat, and h^ 
 unfurls a membrane to the wind for d 
 sail. He extends also two arms, with 
 which, as witn oars, he nm's himself 
 along. When he is disposed to dive, 
 he sirikes sail, and at once sinks to tin 
 bottom. When the weather is calno^ 
 
 lie moimis again, and pt-rf<rnis his 
 voyage without either chart or com- 
 pass. 
 
 Some, lodged in their shells, seem 
 to have no higher employ than to im- 
 bibe nutriment, and are almost root- 
 ed to the rocks on w liich they lie ; 
 while others shoot along the yielding 
 flood, and ranie the spacious regions 
 of the deep. How various is their 
 figure ! The shells ol some seem to be 
 the rude productions of ch^ince ra- 
 ther than of skill and design ; >et even 
 in these we find the iii<est dispcsiticns. 
 Uncouth as ihey appi ar. they ^re ex- 
 actly suited to the exigencies of tiieir 
 respective tenants. The strurtur'- of 
 others is all symmetry and elegance, 
 and no enamel can be comparable to 
 their polish. 
 
 The mackarel. herring, and various 
 other kinds, throng our creeks and 
 bays: while those of enormous size 
 and appearance, which would fright 
 the valuable fish from our coast, are 
 kept in the abyss of the ocean; as 
 wild beasts, compelled by the same 
 over ruling Power, hide themselves >, 
 in the recesses of the forest. 
 
 James I. 
 
 NO prince, so little enterprising 
 and so inofl^ensive, was ever so much 
 exposed to the opposite extremes of 
 cialumny and flattery, of satire and 
 panegyric. And the factions which 
 began in his time, being still continu- 
 ed, have caused his character to be 
 as much disputed to this day, as is 
 commonly that of princes who are our , 
 contemporaries. 
 
 Many virtues, however, it must be 
 
 owned, he possessed ; but not one of 
 
 rhem pure, or free from the contagion 
 
 (if ihe neighbowring vices. His genero- 
 
 ■.ify bordered on profusion his learn^ 
 
 mg on pedantry, his pacifif; disposi- 
 
 inn on pusillanimity, his wisJcm on 
 
 unnnig, his friendship on light fancy 
 
 nd boyish fondness.
 
 442 Literanj Ctniosiihs, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 While be iiiiaginetj that he was only 
 niaiiitaiiiing his own authority, I'.e nray 
 perhaps be suspected in some of hir- 
 actions, and still nioie of his preten 
 sions, to have encroached on the 11 
 berties of his people. 
 
 White he endeavoured by an exact 
 neutrality, to acquire the good-\vi!l of 
 all his neighbours, he was able to pre 
 serve fully the esteem and regard of 
 none. His capacity was considerable; 
 but fitter to discourse on general max- 
 ims, than to conduct any intricate 
 business. 
 
 His intentions were just, but more 
 adapted to the conduct of private 
 life than to the governnsent of king- 
 doms- Awkward in his person, and 
 ungainly in his manners, he was ill 
 qualified to command rt-spect : par- 
 tial and uiidiscerniug in his affections, 
 be was little fitted to acquire general 
 love. Of a feeble temper more than j 
 of a frail judgment; exposed to our 
 ridicule from his vanity; but exempt 
 from our hatred by his freedom from 
 pride and arrogance. And upon the 
 whole it may be pronounced of his 
 character, that all his qualities were 
 sidlied with weakness, and embellish- 
 ed by humanity. 
 
 Of political courage he was cer- 
 tainly destitute ; and thenee chiefly is 
 derived the strong prejudice which 
 prevails against his personal bravery : 
 an inference, however, which must be 
 owned, from general experience, to 
 be extremely fallacious. 
 
 That James was but a middling 
 writer, may be allowed : that he w as 
 a contemptible one, can by no means 
 be admitted. Whoever will read his 
 Basiiicon Doron, particularly the last 
 two books; the True Law of Free 
 Monarchies; his Answer to Cardinal 
 Perron ; and almost all his speeches 
 and messages to parliament ; w ill 
 confess him to have possessed no mean 
 gt niiis. If he wrote concerning witch- 
 es an<l apparitions, wlio, in that aec, 
 did not atiniil the reality of these 
 
 fictitious beings 1 From the grossness 
 of its sujierslitions, we may infer the 
 Ignorance of an age ; but never should 
 pronounce concerning the folly of an 
 individual, from his admitting popu- 
 lar errors consecrated by the appear- 
 •cince of religion. 
 
 He expired on the 27th of March, 
 ifj'lo, after a reign over England 
 twenty-two years and some days ; 
 and in the fifty-ninth year of his age. 
 His reign over Scotland was almost of 
 equal duration with his life. In all 
 history it would be difficult to find a 
 reign less illustrious, yet more un- 
 spotted and unblemished, than that 
 of James in both kingdoms. 
 
 Law Anecdote. 
 
 A RICH old country neighbour of 
 the late Counsellor Fazakerley, who 
 had often endeavoured to steal his 
 advice, taking an opportunity one day, 
 in the course of a morning's ride, to 
 ask his opinion upon a point of some 
 consequt^nce ; he gave it very fully, 
 positively, and explicitly, upon the 
 business: hut some lime afterwards, 
 the 'squire coming to the other's 
 chambers in town in a great hur- 
 ry, says, "Zounds, Mr. Fazakerley, 
 I have lost four or five thousand 
 pounds by your advice." " By my 
 I advice, neighbour ! how so 1" replied 
 Fazakerley. " Why, you w ere in the 
 wrong in the opinion you gave me 
 
 relative to the manor of S ." "My 
 
 opinion!" says the counsellor, turn- 
 ing to one- of his books; " I don't re- 
 member having had any such thing 
 before me ; I see nothing of it in my 
 book." — " Book! No," says the other, 
 " it was as we were riding out toge- 
 ther at Preston last summer." " O !' 
 says the counsellor, " I remember it 
 now ; but that was only my travelling 
 opinion ; and to tell you truly, neigh- 
 bour, my opinion is never to be re- 
 lied upon, tmless the case appears 
 in my fee-book ! ! I"
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enignuts, Epigrams, Poetry, S^c. 443 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 A GENTLEMAN of narrow cir- 
 rmiistaiires, whose health was on the 
 decline, findinjj that an ingenious pl-y- 
 sician occasionally dropped into a cof- 
 fee-honse that he frequented, not very 
 remote from Lincoln's-Inn, always 
 placed himself vis-avis the doctor in 
 the same box, and made many indi- 
 rect etforts to withdraw the doctor's 
 attention from the newspaper, to ex- 
 amine the index of his constitution. 
 He at last ventured a bold push at 
 once, in the following terms: "doctor," 
 said he, I have for a long time been 
 very far from being well; and as I 
 belong to an office, where I am obliged 
 to attend every day, the complaints I 
 have prove very troublesome to me, 
 and I should be^^lad to remove them." 
 The doctor laid down his paper, and 
 regarded his patient w ith a steady eye, 
 while he proceeded. " I have but 
 little appetite, and digest what I eat 
 very poorly, I have had a strange 
 swimming in my head, &c." In short, 
 after giving the doctor a full quarter 
 of an hour's detail of all his symp- 
 toms, he concluded the state of his 
 Cose with a direct question—" Pray 
 doctor what shall 1 take?'' The doc- 
 tor in the act of resuming his paper, 
 gave him the following laconic pre- 
 scription — '^Take! why, take advice !" 
 
 Anecdote of Lord Lyttkfon, 
 
 IT happened that a clergyman 
 came down upon a visit, who was a 
 particular favourite of his lordship's, 
 both as a man and a divine. Lord 
 Lyttleton soon expressed a desire to 
 hear him preach at Hagley ; to which 
 his friend consented, and a card was 
 sent in consequence thereof by his 
 lordship to Mr. Durant, the vicar, 
 and one of his domestic chapliiins, 
 requesting the use of the pulpit next 
 Sunday. His lordship was amazed to 
 receive a pcremptojy refusal ; and 
 
 therefore, sending immediately for 
 the vicar, desired his reasons for de- 
 nying his request. The honest par- 
 son coming up to the hall, cleared up 
 the matter to the satisfaction of all 
 parties, by this sensible reply ; " If 
 my lord, (said he) this worthy gen- 
 tleman should preach better than me, 
 my parishioners wUI never desire to 
 hear me again ; if, on the other hand, 
 worse, why it is not fitting he should 
 ever preach at all." 
 
 Anecdote, 
 
 TWO gentlemen of the city of 
 
 Bath, having had some high words, 
 one of them was seen the ensuing 
 morning, taking the mean revenge of 
 chalking a rascal, agam-l the door of 
 his opponent. The latter calling after- 
 wards at his house, was informed by 
 the servant that his master was n«t at 
 home, and, who likeivise inquired, if 
 he should deliver any particular mes- 
 sage to him on his return ? " Oh ! no," 
 replied the gentleman, " I called mere- 
 ly out of compliment, as he left his 
 name at my house this morning." 
 
 Effects of extreme Cold. 
 
 A GENTLEMAN, who a few 
 days since arrived in London from 
 Pelersburgh, gives us the foliovving 
 account of the intense cold that he 
 experienced on his journey. He con- 
 stantly wore two or three pair of 
 worsted stockings, under and over his 
 boots, and placed his legs in a large 
 fur bag, which fastened round his 
 waist ; yet they were, notwiihstand- 
 ng, in general so cold, that he was 
 unable to move. At night, his breath, 
 as it lodged on his sheets, froze, and 
 by morning, rendered them perfectly 
 crisp. 
 
 His servant, who travelled in the 
 
 carriage with him, was mad by the 
 
 intenseness of the cold, His brain 
 
 froze, and was thawed by water being 
 
 3 L 2
 
 444 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events, 
 
 conlinuallv dropped iipnn hi- hi-ad; 
 but beveial da^s elapsed, beloie hi' 
 recovered \i\^ senses. 
 
 We read, that when ^otii'* French 
 mathematicians wintered at Tornea, 
 in L;ipian.d, the external air, when 
 suddenly admitiO'i into the'r rooms, 
 converted the moisture of the air into 
 whiils of snow; their breasts seemed 
 to be rent when they bieathed it, and 
 the coniait was intolerable to their 
 bolic; and the aqueous parts of 
 spirits of wine, which had not been 
 hi!>hly rectilied, burst some of their 
 thermometers. 
 
 Extreme cold often proves fatal to 
 animal ii.e. Seven thou!.and Swede 
 peribhid at once, in atiemplini; to pass 
 the mountains, which divide Nor\va\ 
 from Sweden. In Ciises ot extreme 
 cold, the person attacked, feels him- 
 self chilly and uneasy; he begins to 
 turn listles-, is unwilhno to walk or 
 use the exercise necessary to keep him 
 warm, and at last turns drowsy, sit.s 
 down to refresh himself with sleep, 
 but wakes no more. Dr. Solander, 
 with si>me others, when at Terra del 
 Fueoo, having taken an excursion up 
 the country, the cold was so intense 
 as to kill una of the company. The 
 doctor, though he had warned his 
 companions of the danger of sleej> 
 ing in that situation, could not be 
 prevented making that dangerous ex- 
 perimtut himself; and though he was 
 waked with all possible expedition, 
 he was so much shrunk in his bulk, 
 that his shoes fell otf his feet, and it 
 uas with tUe utmost difiicuiiy he re- 
 covered. 
 
 In very severe frosts, and very cold 
 climates, rivers have been known to 
 be frozi II over with great rapidity. 
 Dr Goldsniith having seen the Rhine 
 frozen at one of its most precipitate 
 cataracts, and the ice standing in 
 glassy columns, like a forest of large 
 trees, the branches of which had 
 been lopt away. So hard does th» 
 ice become in cold countries, that iii 
 
 1740, a palace of ice was built at 
 Fetersburirh, after a very elegant 
 model, and in just proportion of Au- 
 gustan architecture. It was fifty-two 
 feet long, and twenty feet hi^ih. The 
 materials were quarried from the sur- 
 face of the river Neva ; and the w hole 
 stood glistening against the sun, with 
 A brilliancy almost equal to his own. 
 To increase the wondt r, six cannons 
 and two bombs, all of the same ma- 
 terials, were planted before this ex- 
 traordinary edifice, they were charged 
 with gunpowder and find of}"; the 
 ball of one pierced an oak plank two 
 inches thick, at forty paces distance, 
 nor did the piece burst with the ex- 
 plosion. 
 
 A Charity Sermon. 
 
 THE late Dean Swift, of eccentric 
 memory, once preached a charity 
 sermon at St. Patrick's church, Dub- 
 lin, the prolixity of which, disgusted 
 many of its auditors; which coming 
 to his knowledge, and it falling to his 
 lot soon after to preach another sermon 
 of the like kind, he took great care 
 to avoid falling into his former error: 
 his text was, " He that hath pity upon 
 the poor, lendeth unto the Lord ; and 
 that which he hath given will he pay 
 him again." — The dean, after repeat- 
 ing his text in mere than commonly 
 emphatical tone, added, " Now my 
 dearly beloved brethren, you hear 
 the terms of this loan ; if you like 
 the security, down with your dust." 
 ^t is worthy lemark, that the quaint- 
 ness and brevity of this sermon, pro- 
 duced a very large contribution. 
 
 The Doctor and Pupil. 
 
 AN apothecary of considerable 
 eminence in a provincial town m Eng- 
 land, and a true descendant of the 
 Sangrado family, impelled by that 
 irresistible impulse which operates up- 
 on the greatest iqiad, was 4etermiiKd
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epif/rams, Poet r if, %c. 445 
 
 to make known the mysteries of his 
 profession to one of his pupils, for 
 which laudable purpose lie to»k hini 
 with him, in one of his m'>rnin:> 
 perambulations, to visit hia patients. 
 The situation of one of th^m being 
 of a more difficult nature tlum what 
 generally fell in the way of our doc- 
 tor's practice; more than exlraordi- 
 nary sagacity was necessary on lii-^ 
 part, which he fully evinced to t: e 
 great surprise of his pupil. After the 
 usual business of feeling the pulse, 
 and the Hece^sary inquiries were made, 
 he pronounced will', great gravity, his 
 patient had been eating eggs! It was 
 in vaiu, that both nurse and patient 
 persisted that no such thing had been 
 given. Our iilsculapius still adhered 
 to his opinion. At last the nurse re- 
 collected, that her master had eat a 
 small slice of pudding, in the making 
 of which an egg had been used. Th.- 
 doctor's extraordinary abilities, be- 
 came now a matter of astonishment 
 to the patient, nurse, and pupil; the 
 latter of whom despairing of ever 
 making any progress towards the at- 
 tainment of these hidden secrets, re- 
 presented the same to his master, who 
 told him, that it was with the view of 
 explaining to him the grand arcanum 
 of physic, that he took him out, and 
 that he would now make it known to 
 him. " Whenever, (says this invalu- 
 able man) yoa enter into a roam, let 
 your attention be fixed on something 
 that may induce you to believe your 
 patient has been a partaker of, which, 
 as circumstances happen, (and I have 
 very seldom found it fail) you may use 
 as a proof of your sagacity in disco- 
 vering. The surprise, for instance, 
 that was depicted in your countenance, 
 on my discovery of our patient having 
 eaten eggs, was natural enongh, but 
 it arose from no other cause on my 
 part, than by observing under the 
 grate some shells of eggs ; the natural 
 inference to be drawn was, that eggs 
 had been used, and it was more than 
 
 probable, they had been eaten by llie 
 sick n)an. I have now, my good lad, 
 made you master of a very great se- 
 cret, and that yuu may give some 
 proof of your atteiitioii, to morrow 
 you shall visit a patitut kIoiic. 
 
 On the uiorr'iH, young gallipot 
 issued forth with his load of know- 
 ledge, and the lirst essay of his new- 
 ly acquired ari, was practised on a 
 poor higler, who was confined to his 
 only room— the repository of all his 
 worldly goods. It is unnecessary to 
 relate, that the advice giveij him was 
 not thrown away, and the first and 
 only article that attracted his notice, 
 was, a saddle and bridle under the 
 bed. This was enough. He imnse- 
 diately accused the attendants on his 
 patient, with suffering him to eat a 
 liorse; nor could all the protestations 
 of the parties convince him to the 
 contrary On his return home, in- 
 quires were made by his master, re- 
 specting the health of his patient, and 
 the answer returned, was — very bad 
 indeed — nor did he thuik there was 
 a possibility of his recovery, consider- 
 ing the magnitude of the article he 
 had devoured. What was the sur- 
 piise of his master, on his telling him 
 it was a horse, may be easily guessed ; 
 but the flatter was soon cleared up, 
 when he further added, th..t the dis- 
 covery was made in consequence of 
 tiie saddle and bridle being under the 
 bed. 
 
 Bon- Mot of Quin. 
 
 A PERSON applied to Quin, as 
 manager, to be admiittd on the stage. 
 As a specimen of his dramatic powers, 
 he began the famous soliloqi.y of 
 Hamlet, 
 
 " To be, or not to be, ihat is the question.'' 
 Quin, indigiiaut at the man's absurd 
 elocution, exclaimed very decisively, 
 " No question, upon my honour; 
 not to be, most certainly."
 
 4i6 Literary Cto'iositics, Ep'tfaplia, JVonderfvl Events, 
 
 Description of a wondajul Old Man. 
 
 THERK was an old man, and Iho' it's not 
 ccMnmon, 
 
 Yet, if lie said true, he was born of a wo- 
 man ; 
 
 And tho' it's incredible, yet I've been told 
 
 He was once a mere infant — but age made 
 Iiim old. 
 
 Whene'er he was hungry, he long'd for 
 
 some meat, 
 And, if he cou'd get it, 'lis said he would 
 
 eat : 
 When thirsty he'd drink, if you gave him a 
 
 pot, 
 And his liqncr most commonly ran down 
 
 his throat. 
 
 He seldom or never cou'd seewjlhont light, 
 And yet I've been told he con'd hear in the 
 
 uight : 
 Ilf; has o!"J been awake in the day-time, 'tis 
 
 i<aid, 
 -And has fall'n asleep as he lay in his bed. 
 
 *Tis reported his tongue always piov'd 
 
 when hetalk'd, 
 And be stirr'd bolli his arnos and Lis legs as 
 
 he walk'd ; 
 And Lis gait was so odd, had ynu seen 
 
 you'd have burst, 
 Tor one leg or to'ther wou'd always be 
 
 lirst." 
 
 His face was the oddest (hat ever was seen, 
 For if twns not wash'd it was seldom quite 
 
 clean ; 
 Heshew'd most of his teeth when he hap- 
 
 pea"d to grin, 
 And his montli stood across 'twixt bis nose 
 
 and his chin. 
 
 When this whimsical chap has a river to 
 
 pass, 
 If he cou'd not get over, he'd stay where he 
 
 was : 
 •Tis said he ne'er ventur'd to quit the dry 
 
 ground, 
 Yet BO great was his luck, that he ner^ was 
 
 drown'd. 
 
 Amongst other strange things that befeltbis 
 
 good yeoman. 
 He was marry'd, poor soul ! and hjs wife 
 
 was a woman I 
 And unless by that liar, Miss Fame, we're 
 
 bt'gu i rd . 
 We mav roundly affirm he was never with 
 
 child. 
 
 At last hefeilsicx, as old chronicles tell, 
 Eut tlien, as folks said, he was not very 
 
 well: 
 But what is more strange, in so weak a 
 
 roudilion. 
 fiB he cou'd not give fees, he cou'd get no 
 
 pbysi^iap. 
 
 What wonder he died, yet 'lis said that 
 
 his d<afh 
 Was occasion'd at last by the want of his 
 
 breath : 
 But peace to his bones, which in ashei 
 
 now moulder, 
 Had he liv'd a day longer, he'd been a day 
 
 older. 
 
 Epitaph on a Stay-Maker. 
 
 ALTVE, nnnumber'd stays he made, 
 (He work'd industrious night and day, ) 
 
 E'en dead he still pnrsneshis trade, 
 For here hii banes will make a staff. 
 
 The Cuckoo Traveller. 
 
 A CUCKOO once, as cnckoos irse. 
 Went ont upon a winter's cruize. 
 Retnrn'd with the returning spring. 
 The birds about him form a ring ; 
 While, pntt'd with pride and self-conceit, 
 High on an elm he takes his seal ; 
 Haranguing thus the nnm'rous band: 
 
 " Old England ! Well— the land's a land ! 
 " But rat me, gpntlemeu, says he, 
 •' We passage low 1 that cross the sea 
 " Have vast advantages o'er you, 
 " Whoi-e native woods are all 3'ou view. 
 '' The season past, I took a jauut 
 " Among the isles of the Levant ; 
 " Where, by the way, I stnff'd my gut« 
 " With almonds and pistachio nuts. 
 " Then 'twas my chance some weeks to b« 
 " In that choice garden Italy : 
 " But, underneath the sky's expanie, 
 " No climate like the south of France ! 
 " You've often heard, I dare to swear, 
 " How plenty ortolans are there; 
 ** 'Tis true ; and more delicious meat, 
 " Upon my soul, I never eat : 
 " The eggs are good; it was ill hick, • 
 " 'J'he day I had not ten to snck; 
 " Yet, notwithstanding to my gout, 
 " The bird's the sweeter of lli« two." 
 
 He went on, talking pert aloud, 
 When an old raven, 'mongst the crowd, 
 Stopt short his insolent career — 
 " Why, what a monstrous bustle here! 
 " Yon, travell'd, sir, 1 speak to you, 
 " Who pa!("d so many countries through, 
 " Say, to what purpose is't you roam, 
 " And what improvements bring you home? 
 " Has Italy, on which you doat, 
 " Supply "d yon with another note? 
 " Or France, which you extol so high, 
 •' Taught you with better grace to lly ? 
 '* 1 cannot see that both together 
 '' Have alter'd you a single feather : 
 " Then tell not us of where you've been, 
 •' Of what yoa've done, or what you'te 
 
 seen, r 
 
 '' For yon, and all your rambling rack, 
 •' Cuckoos go out J cuckoos come back.
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas^ Epigrams, Poetrg, S^c. 447 
 
 A Herd of Bulls, in a Letter from 
 an Irish Baronet, to a Friend in 
 London, during the late Rebellion. 
 
 *' My dear sir; 
 
 " HAVING now a little peace and 
 guietness, I sit down to inform you of 
 the dreadful bustle and confusion we 
 are in from these blood-thirsty rebels, 
 most of whom are, however, thank 
 God, killed and dispersed. 
 
 *' We are in a prttty mess : can get 
 nothing to eat, nor any ivine to drink, 
 except tvhisk}/, and when we dit down 
 to dinner, are obliged to keep both 
 hands armed: whilst I .write this let- 
 ter, I hold a sword in one hand, and 
 a pistol in the other. I concluded 
 from the beginning that this would be 
 the end of it ; and I saw I was right, 
 for it is not half over yet. At pre- 
 sent Ibere are such goings on that 
 every thing is at a stand. 
 
 " I should have answered your let- 
 ter a fortnight ago, but I only re- 
 ceived it this morning. Indeed, 
 hardly a mail arrives safe without be- 
 ingrobbed. No longer ago than yes- 
 terday, tbe coach with the mails from 
 Dublin was robbed near this town : 
 the bags had been judiciously left 
 behind, for fear of accidents; and by 
 ■ good luck, there was nobody in the 
 coach but two outside passengers, 
 who had nothing for the thieves to 
 take. 
 
 *' Last Thursday an alarm was 
 given, that a gang wf rebels were ad- 
 vancing hither, under tlie Fiench 
 standard; but they had no colours, 
 nor any drums, except bag-pipes. 
 Jmnjediately every man in the place, 
 including women and boys, ran out 
 to meet them. Wo soon found our 
 Jorce much too little, and they were 
 far too mar for us to think of retreal- 
 iiig: death was in every face; but to 
 it we Weill, and by the time half our 
 little parly was hilled, we began to 
 be /ill alive, foriuiuirely the rebels 
 hud no gum, but pistols, cutlasses, 
 
 and pikes; and as we had plenty of 
 muskets and aiiimunition, we |'Ut them 
 all to the sword: not a soul of them 
 excepted, except some that were drown- 
 ed in aiindiuining bog; and, inaverv 
 short time, nothing was to be heard 
 bul silence. Their uniforms were all 
 of different colours, but mostly green. 
 Alter the action, we went to i uinmage 
 their camp ; ail we found was a few 
 pike^ tpithout heads, a parcel of 
 empty bottles full of water, and a 
 bunglle of blank L'rench commissions 
 jilted h'p with Irishmen's names. 
 
 " Troops arc now stationed every 
 where round the country, which ex- 
 actly squares with my ideas. Nothing 
 however can save us but a union with 
 England, which would turn our bm- 
 ren hills, into fertile valleys. 1 have 
 only leisure to add, that I am, iu 
 great haste. 
 
 " Your's truly, B. R." 
 " P. S. If you do 7UjI receive this, 
 in course, it must have miscarried; 
 therefore, I beg you ivilj immcdialely 
 write to let me know." 
 
 JBar-bar-ous Pun. 
 
 BANNISTER, senior, being at a 
 coflee-houss in St. Martin's-hine, 
 over a bowl of punch, in company 
 with a friend, who was descanfuiij on 
 the attractive charms of the bar-maid, 
 said, he had often been tempted to 
 court her, but that she had been so 
 nnicli used to the bar, he was afraid 
 she was a bar-bar-iun. Being gver- 
 heard Ly Miss Napcy, she replied, 
 " Pray, Mr. Bannister, mind your 
 own bars (meaning the bars of music) 
 and I'll take care of mine." 
 
 Advantage of Time 
 
 A MERRY*^, but poor man, being 
 laughed at for wearing a short cloak, 
 replied, *' it will be long enough be- 
 foie I lidve done sviUi it."
 
 443 Lfferan/ C uriosities, Epitaph, ^^ Wonderful Events^ 
 
 A Poachers Pun. 
 A PO\CHERwas carried before 
 a niaijistrate, upon a charge of killini.' 
 game wnlawfuilv in a nobleman's park 
 where he was ci)ui.'ht in the fact, lin- 
 ing asked what he had to say in his de- 
 fence, and what proof he could brinj: 
 to support it, he replied, " May it 
 please your worship, I know and con- 
 fess that I was found in his lordship's 
 park, its the witness has told you: 
 but I can bring tlie whole parish to 
 prove, that, for the last thirty years, 
 this has been my manner. 
 
 A Turf Bull. 
 AT a race in the north, amont;; 
 other horses ihat started for the plate, 
 one was called Botlierura. An Irish- 
 man, taking a fancy to the name, 
 betted large odds in his favour. To- 
 wards the conclusion of the race, his 
 favourite hap^pened to be in the rear of 
 all ; oi» which Paddy exclaimed, 
 *'Ah! there he is: Bofherum for 
 ever; see how he drives them all be- 
 fore him." 
 
 Painters should visit Poland. 
 
 AMBROSE Phillips was, in his con- 
 versation, solemn and pompous. At 
 a coffee-house hewasonce discoursin.v 
 upon picture?, and pitying the paint- 
 ers, who in their historical pieces, 
 always drew the same sort of sky, 
 . " They should travel," said he, 
 " and then they will see that there is 
 a different sky in every country ; in 
 Enjjlaiid, France, ftaly, and so forth." 
 — " Your remark is just," said a grave 
 old t;entleman «ho sat by: " I have 
 been a traveller, and can testify whai 
 you observe is true ; but the greatest 
 variety of ski/s that I found, was in 
 Poland.'' — "In Poland, sir;" sdi< 
 Phillips. "Yes in Poland: fort^r* 
 are SobiesAry, Vom-dtowski/, Harbrun- 
 sky, Jah\oi}ski/, FodmUrd^kj/^ an- 
 many more sktjs, sir, than are to be 
 found any where else." 
 
 A Grand Jury. 
 JUDGE Doddridge having once' 
 complained that the sheriff of Hun- 
 tingdon had stunmoned a grnnd jury 
 that was deficient ill rank, the sheriff 
 iit th(" next assizes presented him with 
 ihe following high-sounding pannel. 
 Maximdian King ofToseland, Henry- 
 Prince of Godmanchester, George 
 Duke of Somersham, William Mar- 
 quis of Stukely, Kdmond Earl of 
 Hartford, Richard Baron of B) thorn, 
 Samuel Pope of Ne.wton, Stephen 
 Cardinal of Kimbolten, Humphrey 
 Bishop of Bugden, Robert Lord of 
 Wa^e^lcy, Joseph Knight ot Winwick, 
 William Abbot of Stukely, Walter 
 Dean of Old Weston, John Arch- 
 deacon of Paxton, Peter Squire of 
 Easton, Edward Friar of Ellington, 
 Henry Monk of Stukely, Thomas 
 Gentleman of Spaldwick, George 
 Priest of Graffham. 
 
 Erratum, 
 
 SCARRON wrote some verses ad- 
 dressed: " A Guilleraette, chienne de 
 ma s«ur— To Guillemette, my sister's 
 bitch." Some time after, having 
 quarrelled with his sister, he collected 
 his works for re-publication, and in- 
 serted among the errata, " For chienne 
 de ma sccur, read ma chienne de soeur 
 — For my sister's bitch, read my 
 bitch of a sister." 
 
 A Miracle paralleled. 
 
 LORD Kellie was amusing the 
 coBipany with an account of a sermon 
 he had heard in Italy, in which the 
 priest related the miracle of St. 
 Antony, when preachingon -.hip-board 
 :ittracting, the fishes, which, in order 
 to listen to his pious discourse, held 
 I heir heads out of the water. "I 
 can perfectly believe the miracle," 
 said Harry Erskine ; for when your 
 lordship was at church, there \fas at 
 least one fish out oj water."
 
 Inferestinff Narrtith-es, Enigynas^ Epi(/rams, Poetri/^ 8^c^ 449 
 
 The just Monarch. 
 
 A POOR vi!ia;rer complained to 
 MaliDioud, sultan of Daiiidscus, that 
 a vouiis; Turk of distinction liar! broke 
 into his house, and insulted him so, 
 that he was forced to abandon it, witii 
 his wife and family, to the shameful 
 abuses of that hold intruder, who } 
 afterwards escaped and remained un- 
 known The sultan very much moved, i 
 charged the suflerer to come imme- 1 
 diately and jjive notice, if ever that] 
 Turk should repeat the insult; which 
 he did three days after, and the poor, 
 nian complained to the sultan accord- 
 ingly, who taking a few attendants 
 immediately went with him. It was 
 p.ight when they came to the house, 
 but the sultau ordered ail the lights 
 to be put out ; then rushed boldly in, 
 and with his sabre cut the ravisher in 
 pieces. After which he ordered a 
 torch to be lighted, and looking on 
 the face of the malefactor immedi- 
 ately with an air of joy, ftll down oh 
 ^the ground and praised God. When 
 he rose he bid the man of the house 
 bring out wiiat victuals he had, which 
 was only some stale brown bread and 
 butter-milk, of which the sultan eat 
 and drank heartily ; and then being 
 ready to return, at the poor man's re- 
 quest, explained all the mysterious 
 circumstances of this action, as follows: 
 
 " You nmst know," said he, " that 
 upon hearing this complaint, and the 
 description of the criminal you gave 
 me, I concluded he could be no other 
 than my own son : therefore, lest my 
 eyes should suborn my heart, and the 
 tenderness of nature enervate the arm 
 of justice; I resolved, through the un- 
 distinguishing veil of night to give it 
 scope. But when I beheld it was not 
 lie, but only an officer of my guard, I 
 fell down with gladness to give thanks 
 unto God that my own offspring had 
 not in this affair deserved my wrath, 
 nor met my vengeance : and after all, 
 J asked what provisi'.m you had at 
 
 hand, to satisfy myhunger and repal*" 
 this fleshly frame, which my resent" 
 nient would not suffer me to gratify 
 either with sleep or sustenance, from 
 the moment I heard this accusation, 
 until I had thus punished the author 
 of your wrongs, and shewed myself 
 worthy of my people's obedience : for 
 this one example shall make it known 
 them, that you have a prince, under 
 whom there is no sufferer so mean, 
 who need fear to be denied redress: 
 and no offender so great, as may hope 
 t« escape punishment. 
 
 Burlesque upon Authors. 
 
 THE whole fraternity of writers 
 who are continually spinning out their 
 wits, as the silk-worm does its bowels 
 to benefit and pleasure others, with 
 one voice cry out, that their labours 
 are neglected, themselves slighted, 
 and their brains can scarce procure 
 them wherewithal to fill their bellies. 
 
 Of this poor Jack Funnel is an in- 
 stance, whose case is here publi-hed 
 in hopes of making the ^orld ashamed 
 of its ingratitude. Having generously 
 spent a fortune of 3001 per annuni, 
 and thereby gained the character, of 
 a good-natured honest fellow, he de- 
 voted himself to his country's service 
 in quality of an author; and though 
 it is Iwenty-f'ive years since, and he 
 has drawn his pen in every cause, at 
 present he is master of but one suit of 
 clothes, and they too much impaired, 
 and finds it very difficult to defray 
 the daily expense of a sixpenny or- 
 dinary. 
 
 When firc-t, says he, I appeared as 
 an author, it was in a horrid, barba- 
 rous, and bloody murder : 'The im- 
 pression went roundly off, by whicii I 
 wasenabled to turn a coat, and sole 
 and heel-piece two pair of old shoes. 
 Soon after I came out with the strange, 
 and Surprising appearance of the mur- 
 dered person's apparition; by virtue 
 d winch, I took m\ waistcoat out or 
 3 X
 
 430 Literary Cariosities, Epitaplis, Wonderful Events^ 
 
 pawn, aud furnished myself with a 
 pound of candles. Robberies, earth- 
 quakes, and blazing stars, abroad and 
 at home, have usually served to wash 
 and mend my linen. The whole life 
 and conversation, birth, parentage and 
 education of considerable men, have 
 supplied me for many years with pipes 
 and tobacco ; last wills aud testaments 
 pay my barber ; and the interpreta- 
 tions of dreams, t«gether with good 
 advice to love-sick maidens, keep me 
 in shoes and stockings. When my 
 works grow stale, I vamp them up, 
 and give them another run by a dif- 
 ferent title-page. I ransack old novels 
 and pass them oflf for secret history, 
 and disguise the reasons of former 
 reigns under the cover of a letter to 
 a member of the present parliament. 
 By these means, and by my elegies, 
 ballads, bell-men's verses. Sic. I make 
 a hard shift to pick up a livelihood. 
 
 Inflammatory Fever of Sensual Sym- 
 pathy 
 
 IS more violent in its eflfects upon 
 the circulation, than all the fevers 
 whose predominant symptoms are so 
 accurately arranged by the faculty. — 
 Mr, Ward, of Castle Sowerby, and 
 Miss Bell, of Kingsmore, near Carlisle, 
 having been both attacked with this 
 disease to a degree of uncommon se- 
 verity, felt the necessity of personal 
 communication, to allay the furor and 
 irritability, that constituted the most 
 inflammatory cause of disquietude. 
 The father of the lady having been pri- 
 vately apprised of the furious stale of 
 the maniacs, had, as he thought, to- 
 tally prevented the least possibility of 
 incorporation, by a general system of 
 barring and locking, continued to 
 every door and window upon the pre- 
 mises. But how frail are the weak 
 endeavours of helpless man, when 
 opposed to the interposing power of 
 ."upernatural influence. The awful 
 stillness of night, and the intervention 
 
 of a key-hole, conveyed the tremorous 
 whisper, (vibrating upon the wings of 
 love) to the expectant ear of the des- 
 ponding fair; who availing herself of 
 the only exhilirant that could relieve 
 her from a state of debilitation, in- 
 stantly entreated the unceasing perse- 
 verance of her humble dependant to 
 procure a rope, without delay, as she 
 was. assured by that means "he might 
 easily draw her up the chimney." The 
 scheme that love had so eagerly adopt- 
 ed, gratitude was equally eager to 
 execute. A rope being expeditiously 
 obtained, and a friendly peat stack 
 offering its ready assistance, our hero 
 easily attained the summit of the roof, 
 preparatory to the summit of his wish- 
 es ; where from the " dark abyss of 
 black despair," he soon extracted "a 
 gem of more worth than oriental 
 pearls," who, notwithstanding the' fu- 
 liginous surface of the shell, displayed 
 when cracked, a delicious kernel. The 
 predominance of previous symptoms 
 continued to increase, (with their an- 
 xiety) during their short excursion to 
 Gretna Green ; where, after a few 
 hours mutual consolation, inflamma- 
 tory effervescence began to subside by 
 a repetition of gentle evacuations, and 
 we have the singular satisfaction to 
 announce their perfect recovery, and 
 that not the least sympton of former 
 disquietude remains, but that they 
 verify the old song, " And now live as 
 married folks usually do." 
 
 Spanish Etiquette. 
 
 THE etiquette, or rules to be ob- 
 served in the royal palaces, is neces- 
 sary for keeping order at court. In 
 Spain it was carried to such lengths 
 as to make inariyrs of their kings. 
 
 Here is an instance, at which, in 
 spite of the fatal consequences it pro- 
 duced, one cannot refrain from smi- 
 ling. Philip the Third, being gravely 
 seated, as the Spaniards generally are, 
 by a chimney, where the fire-maker
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, S^c. 451 
 
 of the court, had kindled so great a 
 quantity of wood, that the monarch 
 was nearly suflfocated with heat, his 
 jjrandeur would not suffer him to rise 
 from the chair; and the domestics 
 could not presume to enter the apart- 
 ment, because it was against the eti- 
 quette. At length the Marquis de 
 Potat appeared, and the king ordered 
 him to damp the fire ; but he f'xcused 
 himself: alledging, that he was for- 
 bidden by the etiquette, to perform 
 such a function, for which the Duke 
 de Usseda ought to be called upon ; 
 as it was his business; the duke was 
 gone out ; the fire burnt fiercer ; and 
 the king endured it; rather than de- 
 rogate from his dignity. But his blood 
 was heated to such a degree, that an 
 erisipilas broke out in his head the 
 next day ; which being succeeded by a 
 violent fever, carried him off in 1621, 
 in the twenty-fourth year of his age. 
 
 Th« palace was once on fire; a 
 soldier who knew the king's sister was 
 in her apartment, and must inevitably 
 have been consumed in a few moments 
 by the flames, at the risk of his life 
 rushed in, and brought her highness 
 safe out in his arms : but the Spanish 
 etiquette was here woefully broken 
 into ! The loyal soldier was brought 
 to trial, and, as it was impossible to 
 deny that he had entered her apart- 
 ment, the judges condemned him to 
 die ! The Spanish princess, however, 
 condesceHded, in consideration of the 
 circumstance, to pardon the soldier, 
 and very benevolently saved his life ! 
 
 When Charles the Second received 
 the compliments of the grandees, who 
 kissed hands on occasion of his as- 
 cending the throne, one, in the ex- 
 cess of his zeal, ventured to use the 
 word friend, in his compliments of 
 condolence and felicitation. 
 
 The grave young monarch start- 
 ing from him, and swelling with au- 
 thority, exclaimed — " Kings have not 
 their vassals for frisnds but for ser- 
 vants. 
 
 An elegant monarch lamented the 
 hard fortune of kings, that they could 
 have no friend. Charles must have 
 thought differently. One more in- 
 stance not less extravagant than any 
 of these: 
 
 When Isabella, mother of Philip IT, 
 was ready to be delivered of him^ she 
 commanded that all lights should be 
 extinguished ; that if the violence of 
 the pain should occasion her face to 
 change colour, no one might per- 
 ceive it. And when the midwife said 
 '• Madam, cry out, and that will give 
 you ease." She answered in good 
 Spanish, " How dare you give such 
 advice, I would rather die than cry 
 out." 
 
 After this, we may exclaim, with 
 our English satirist — 
 
 Spain (o all the earth, 
 
 Spain give us pride which 
 
 May largely give, nor fear herself a dearth. 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 JOHN Basilowitz, or Irvan IV. 
 great duke of Muscovy, was so cruel 
 and ferocious a prince* that he or- 
 dered the hat of an Italian ambassa- 
 dor to be nailed to his head, because 
 he had presumed to be covered before 
 him. The ambassador of the queen 
 of England however, was bold enough 
 to put on his hat in his presence; 
 upon which Basilowitz asked him ''If 
 he knew how he had treated an am- 
 bassador for the like behaviour." — 
 " No," replied the intrepid English- 
 man, " but I am sent hither by Queen 
 Elizabeth ; and, if an insult is ofl'ered 
 to her minister, she has spirit enough 
 to resent it." " What a brave man!" 
 exclaimed the Czar ; "which of you," 
 added he to his courtiers, " would 
 have acted and spoken in this manner* 
 to support my honour and interests ]" 
 
 Epitafh on John Underwood. 
 AH cruel death ! that dost no good, 
 
 With thy destructive maggots ; 
 Now thou hast cropt our Underwood, 
 , What shall we do for faggots ? 
 1 3 M 2
 
 452' Literary Cnr'iositieSy Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 TheStrvanIs Hall, in Christmas Time. 
 
 BOY, brino; tbe cards, and .>-hui the door, 
 
 Let's see, here's two. anditvro aaakes four; 
 
 My Petand I, iiold Joe and Sue, 
 
 Sam balf-n -crown v.ith Ralph and yon. 
 
 Done, Robin Bntler, 'fjs agreed, 
 
 We take \»ar je(, and Joe's la leafJ.—- 
 
 O! Betsey, those ar icillingeyes. 
 Do close *ein, or Iby l^dbin dies : 
 What pity Mis J^ucb he^.v'nly biootn 
 Sbonld squeeze a mop, or lilt a brcom! 
 Dear Robia Bntler, prilhee bush . 
 I vovT, protest, yon make me blush : 
 I handsome, sir! — not 1 indeed, 
 LiKi ! I scarce know what card to ifiaji. 
 SiTsan, this Stras()urg*s mighty fine, 
 Mine's Rappee, do taste of mine. — 
 The kinjj of haarls, that's mine ye gods ! 
 The qneen fvf trumps — Bet »core t;>e odds : 
 We have the hononrs, Susaa, \oo)l, 
 Score two, my dear delicions cook^ 
 Ladies, if acid disagrees, 
 Do have the puitch just as ynn please : 
 Dear girls be fr^e, and pray command, 
 We have port and mountain just at band. 
 — So (he duke's groom has told hi5 grace 
 Vaild he would have, or lose his place ; 
 And, when his hnnoui bonnc'd and swore, 
 Dick damn'd bis hump and swang'd thedoor. 
 Who plaj'd the jack? Eet play the s::me: — 
 Then here'** the honours, and the game. — -, — 
 Nov*- Betsey tune thy beav'nly voice, 
 SomeraptnroiLs song from Arne or Boyce, 
 
 Give Hs your roratorio singings 
 
 Coming; confouad yon bell for, ringing: 
 All must be dum!> whilst Betsey sing ; 
 ©ooiing; confonaiyon, how you ring. — 
 S», 80, %ay parlour chaps I vow, 
 Are aJI dead-drunk., as David's sow; 
 My di'^ay master, drtnch'd io liquor, 
 Has broke the head of Nog, the vicar. 
 The doctor and the grocer fighting, 
 Which is mast rogue, and most backbiting. 
 Well, if this l.nmourtnrns the scales, 
 And geatlefoik« arerobb'd of-vajesj 
 *! will be the nation's cenaioruinj 
 Lord ! what are all the great folks doing? 
 
 Just as they pleage, but Robin knows 
 How things will be, wheu Robin goes — 
 I'll not hujf clean th* knives, or plat*; 
 Nor Jacfcfor coaches hold a gate; 
 Nor w ill ^oe bru.«h ihe curate's cpat, 
 Nor will Sam give his horse an oat. 
 Sue cares^not how she burns the iueat> 
 Nor wili. Bet air a single sheet. 
 O Bet, could servants rule in. turn, 
 We'd make our devi/s w ash and churn \ 
 Steep niouldy crusts in wat<-r gruel. 
 And blow their.fi*ts for want of fuel ; 
 What, would they isave us upper folks 
 Trot t{» their hogs with pail.- and yokes ; 
 Lie downiu fleas, quite cover'd o'er, 
 Then rise lo nulk,^ of ,tnro, tlie clover ? 
 
 Not i forsooth, I'll sooner nisrry. 
 And ketp a public-lionse with Harry : 
 My Jcoy shall hire a farm, and I 
 Oh ! Jehu, how I'll whi:«k the fly ! 
 By goies, I've.speHt with ma'am Mafianly 
 Bat Ihiee half-crowns liiis year inlrolley, 
 MaljLe my ovimi iiims, turn tops and tails, 
 'Tik homicide to stop one'svails. 
 
 Bnt listen, sirs — my roa'i^pr's below ; 
 Robin, hereKobin; curse the fallow, 
 Order the coach, ?i?Jolin is gwing; 
 Kobip., coufound you, what ar'l doing ' — 
 Coafu^sioH, and heart-sinking (ear 
 Plants in each face the ideot slare : 
 No more of ojWira tnn^s or Handei, 
 This snatch'd a bowl, and this a caudle; 
 This in a whisper, soft as caa be. 
 Cries, !ud! hid! Robin, hide the brandy : 
 One breaiis a shiu o'er elbow chair, 
 Another falls with china-ware: 
 Stol'n pyes with hams, and wiiigs of capon. 
 Are cover'd ;ip with Betsey's apron : 
 Ralph's blundering head,Yor want of breed- 
 
 iag, 
 Sets Jack's unhappy nose a bleeding : 
 Away they send, all up and ready, 
 'lis yes. Sir John; and yes, ray Lady ; 
 Here's Mr. Minister's great, coat, 
 Dear sir, tie something round your throai; 
 Do, Mr. Codicil, Ipray, 
 Put on your oil-skin hood lo-day. 
 Confound the boy, how slow be moves! 
 Where's Doctor Wo] lop's cane and gloves ■ 
 Obliging souls, how good and just, 
 How exquisitely form'd for trust ! 
 When, lo! was beard Ralph's hoarse ap" 
 
 proacb. 
 And ge-ho, lada, wheels up the coach; 
 The gaping, fawning herd around^ 
 With bowjng heads salute the ground ; 
 When flies the coach — then curse you aJI 
 Wasthe.good wish from servants' hall ; 
 May some kind post, or clap of thundei , 
 J" put the old dog and coach asunder; 
 Aud may such semis as stop, our vails- 
 Die in their shoes, or rot in gaols. > 
 No longer bowing, cringing, bombIe> 
 Ttey lie, carse, swear, blasphenje aa4 
 
 grumble. 
 Each master has a hundred maggots, 
 Each mistress wjsh'd a thousand faggots ; 
 Sneak up^, to bed, and there pursae, 
 The good old game with Bet and Sue. 
 
 Epitaph on John and Edward Tophasn, 
 
 READER, we from this monument may 
 
 gather, 
 John Topham was one Edward Topham's 
 
 father ; 
 And what's more strange, we find npoq- 
 
 this stone. 
 That Edward Topham was Joha Topjiatn/a 
 
 80D,
 
 liiteresthg Narratives ^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, %c. 453 
 
 Some Particulars respecting the Los 
 &J the Halsewell Ea'-t-Indiaman, 
 which was unfortiinatelt/ Ship- 
 wrecked on the CocM of Dorset- 
 shire, January 6, 17 86. 
 
 ON Sunday the 1st of January, 
 1786, th» llalsewell East-Iiuiiaraaii, 
 commanded by Richard Pierce, esq. 
 sailed throuoh thf downs, on her out- 
 ward-bound voyage to Bengal. Tlie 
 pilot had left the ship on Tuesday 
 noon; after which she sailed down the 
 channel with a fair wind until about 
 four o'clock on Wednesday monV;!^, 
 when a very hard gale, with a heavy 
 fa^l of snow, came on, by wbich the 
 ship leceived so much damage as to 
 admit six ftet of water into the bold. 
 About eleven o'ciock on Wednesday 
 morning, when ihey thought they 
 were between tlie lizaid and stait 
 points, they cut away the main and 
 mizen masts, then woic ship and en- 
 deavoured to make Portsmouth under 
 jury, masts. They stood up the chan- 
 nel on Wednesday afternoon, and all 
 ihe day on Thursdayl In the after- 
 noon of the last-mentioned day, a 
 heavy gale blew from the south, 
 which by degrees drove them on a 
 lee-shore, in spite of ail their endea- 
 vours to avoid it. Between one and 
 two o'clock on Friday morning they 
 saw land, and came to anchor, at 
 which they rode about an hour. Bat 
 having either driven or parted, they 
 then let go the only anchor left them, 
 with which they were unable to bring 
 up the ship, as the hurricane con- 
 tinued to increase. In this state the 
 vessel drove upon the rocks at the 
 I^ead-Land of St. Alban's, about 
 three leagues to the east of Portland, 
 and in less than an hour was dashed 
 to pieces. 
 
 Had they been fortunate etiough to 
 have driven clear of that Head-Land, 
 they would have got into Swanage, 
 w Strickland Bay, where they might 
 have safe anchorage under the wea- 
 tbe.% 
 
 Be'-ides the captain, the first, 
 fourth, and tilth mates, the foilowincr 
 
 passengers were lost, viz. John 
 
 George Scliullz, JMiss Elizabeth 
 Pierce, Miss ivlary Anne Pieice, two 
 Miss Pauls, ikliss I\lary Haggard, 
 i\iiS6 Elizabeth Blackburn, Miss Anne 
 Maiisel, and about one hundred and 
 si^ty or one huivdred and ceventy sea- 
 men and soldiers. 
 
 Othcers saved —Rlr. Henry Merjj- 
 ton, second mate; Mr. Rogers, third 
 ditto; Mr. Daniel, sixth ditto; Mr, 
 Duncan iNlacdougal, JMr. M'Manus, 
 midshipmen, wiih forty seamen, and 
 twenty-five soldiers. 
 
 Mr. Menton was driven from on 
 board the rialsewell on the rock, by 
 a very heavy sea breaking over the 
 ship, just before which Capt. Pierce 
 ask*d him, if he thought any thing 
 could be done for the safety of the 
 ladies; he replied, it was impossible. 
 Upon which the captain, addressing 
 himself to his daughters, and enfold- 
 ing them in his arms, said, " Theii 
 my dear children we will perish toge- 
 ther." Soon after an universal shriek 
 of horror was heard, wherein the 
 voices of the ladies were very distin- 
 guishable; and in a few moments the 
 ship totally disappeared. 
 
 Mr. Thompson, the quarter-master, 
 was the first who climbed up the rock 
 and got on shore, he saw a light about 
 a mile off, Jo which he went ; the peo- 
 ple very humanely came down with 
 him to the shore with ropes, which 
 were the means of saving many lives, 
 though several, after being drawn 
 part of the way up the rock, from 
 t'atigue let go their hold, and were 
 dashed to pieces. 
 
 Enigmatical List of Beasts^ 
 
 SIXTEEN drachms. 
 The reverse to good, and three* 
 sevenths of a large country. 
 A philosopher. 
 
 Three-eights of a sweet smelling 
 Ijherb and iwo-iifths of a shrub.
 
 454 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wondeiful Events, 
 
 Tlirce-fourths of a young child, 
 and three-fourths of a satellite. 
 
 Three-sevenths of a fish like an eel, 
 and two vowels. 
 
 Three sevenths of a flower. 
 
 A vowel and a consonant 
 
 Two-fourths of an opprobrious ti- 
 tle, and a monosyllable. 
 
 Three-fifths of a mournful poem, 
 and four sevenths of an imaginary 
 Being, 
 
 An earthen vessel, and four-ele- 
 venths of a philosophical instrument. 
 
 Three-fourths of the principal ma-- 
 gistrate in the states ©f Venice and 
 Genoa. 
 
 Two-thirds of a silly fellow, and a 
 consonant. 
 
 Three-fifths of a funeral song, and 
 five-sevenths of an apparition. 
 
 A colour reversed with a letter 
 added. 
 
 A part of a gun, leaving out the 
 second letter. 
 
 Two-sixths of a city in England. 
 
 Throe-fifths of terrible, and two- 
 sixths of the sixtieth part of a minute. 
 
 Half of a Turkish justice, and 
 three-sixths of harmony. 
 
 Three-fourths of a prison, and a 
 consonant. 
 
 Three-fourths of a musical instru- 
 ment and a vowel. 
 
 Three-sevenths of eager, and half 
 to depart. 
 
 Two-sixths of a famous poet de- 
 ceased, and three-fourths to name. 
 
 Sorrow, and two-fifths of a com- 
 pany of ships reversed 
 
 Two-thirds of an enemy, and a 
 consonant. 
 
 The reverse to good, and threc'^' 
 fourths to jest. 
 
 Two-thirds of an insect, and half 
 to prepare. 
 
 Half of to dress, and the same to 
 smite. 
 
 Two-thirds of a measure, and one- 
 fourth of care. 
 
 Three-sevenths of melody, and one- 
 fourth of right. 
 
 Half of terror, and two-thirds to 
 fix. 
 
 Three-fifths of a strand, and half 
 of truth. 
 
 Two-fifths of to seize, and half of 
 music. 
 
 Three-fifths of not well, and half 
 of a shoot. 
 
 Two-fifths of to lure, and two- 
 thirds of a mistake. 
 
 Half of a flower, and two fifths of 
 a garden root. 
 
 Three-sevenths of t® raise, and 
 five-sevenths of a spirit. 
 
 Three-fifths of to brag, and one- 
 ninth of a fruit. 
 
 Two-sevenths of a college in Ox- 
 ford, and halt a precious stone men- 
 tioned itr^scripture. 
 
 Two-thirds of an industrious insect, 
 and two-sixths of what is worn in 
 battle. 
 
 A partner, and a consonant. 
 
 Anecdote of the Duke of Ossuna. 
 
 THE duke of Ossuna, viceroy of 
 Naples, passing by Barcelona, and 
 having got leave to release some slaves, 
 he went aboard the Cape Galley, and 
 passing through the crew of slaves, 
 he asked divers of them, what their 
 offences were? every one excused 
 himself upon several pretences ; one 
 saying that he was put in out of ma- 
 lice, another by bribery of the judge; 
 but all of them unjustly. Among 
 the rest there was one sturdy little 
 black man ; and the duke asking hint 
 what he was in for, my lord, said he, 
 , I cannot deny but I am justly put in 
 here; for I wanted money, and so 
 took a purse hard by Tarragona, to 
 keep me from starving. The duke, 
 with a little staff he had in his hand, 
 gave him two or three blows on the 
 shoulder, saying, you rogue, what do 
 you do among so many honest, irmO' 
 cent men ? get you out of their com- 
 pany ; so he was freed, and the rest 
 remained still to tug at the oar.
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas, Epigrams^ Poetry, ^c. 455 
 
 Life of Mary Queen of Scots, 
 
 MARY, queen of Scots, famous 
 for her beauty, her wit, her learning, 
 and her misfortunes, was born on 
 the Sth of December, 1542, and was 
 the daughter and sole heiress of James 
 V. king of Scots, by Mary of Lor- 
 rain, bis second queen, and dowager 
 of Longueville. She was not eight 
 days old when her father died ; where- 
 upon, after great animosites amongst 
 the nobility, it was decreed, that the 
 earl of Arran, as being by proximity 
 of blood, the next heir to the crown 
 in legitimate descent, and the first 
 peer in Scotland, should be made 
 governor of the kingdom, and 
 guardian of the queen, who remained 
 in the mean time, with her mother in 
 the royal palace of Linlithgow. 
 Great suit being made by King 
 Henry VIII. in behalf of his son Ed- 
 ward, for this princess in her child- 
 hood, it was at last agreed between 
 the chief peers of both kingdoms, 
 that she should be given in-marriage 
 to that prince ; which being refused 
 afterwards by her governor, occa- 
 sioned the famous battle of Mussel- 
 burg. Upon the defeat of the Scots 
 at this battle, she was conveyed by 
 the queen-mother into the isle of 
 Inchemahom, where she laid the 
 foundation of her knowledge in the 
 Latin, French, Spanish, and Italian 
 fongues ; in which she afterwards 
 arrived at so great perfection, that 
 few were found equal to her in any of 
 them, and none superior in them all. 
 The queen-mother being inclined to 
 the interest of France, the young 
 queen by her care, was conveyed 
 thither, when she was but about six 
 years old. After staying a few days 
 with the king and queen at court, she 
 was sent to a monastery, where were 
 sent the daughters of the chief nobility 
 of the kingdom. Here she spesit her 
 time in all the ofiices and duties of 
 a monastic lift ; being conitanl in her 
 
 devotions, and very observant of her 
 discipline. She had a good taste for 
 music, and played well upon several 
 instruments ; was a line dancer, and 
 sat a horse gracefully. But these last 
 accomplishments she pursued rather 
 out of necessity than choice ; and 
 when she followed most her own in- 
 clinations, would be employed among 
 her women in needle-work. An im- 
 palement of the arms of France and 
 Scotland is embroidered under an im- 
 perial crown, on the valence of the ca- 
 nopy in the presence-chamber at 
 Whitehall, much of which is said to be 
 of her handy work. All these ac- 
 complishments, with a fine person into 
 the bargain, rendered her so amiable 
 to Henry H. of France, and his queen, 
 as made them desirous of marrying 
 her to the dauphin, which was accord- 
 ingly brought about, and the nuptials 
 were solemnized on the 20tfa of April, 
 1558. But this happy marriage, for 
 such it seems it was, lasted but a little 
 while ; since Francis II. as he then was 
 being violently seized with a catarrh, 
 died of it on the 5th of December, 
 1560. His disconsolate queen, being 
 left without issue, returned soon after 
 to Scotland, where she had not been 
 long, before Charles, archduke of 
 Austria, was proposed to her as a hus- 
 band by the cardinal of Lorrain. But 
 Queen Elizabeth interposed, and de- 
 sired she would not marry with any 
 foreign prince, but make choice of a 
 husband out of her own nobility. She 
 recommended her either to the earl of 
 Leicester, or Lord Darnly ; giving her 
 to understand, that her succession to 
 the crown of England would be very 
 precarious, if she did not comply. 
 Being thus over-aned by Queen P.li- 
 zabeth, and not a little taken with the 
 Lord Darnley, who was extremely 
 handsome, she consented to marry 
 him; and creating him earl cf Ross, 
 and <!uke of Rothesay, on the 2Sih of 
 July, 150.5, he was the same da, pro- 
 claimed king at Edinburgh, and suar-
 
 456 XHeranj Cm'lositie.^, -Epitaphs, tVonderful Evertis, 
 
 ried to the queen the day affer. By 
 this i)us!)aiid she had owe son, born at 
 Edinburgh, on the 19th of June, 1566, 
 who was afterwards James Vltii of 
 Scotland, and 1st. of Jujgland. 
 QuesMi Elizabeth congrahilattd her 
 upon t'lis occasion ; though, as Cam- 
 den says, she inwardly grieved at be- 
 ing prevented by her rival in the hon- 
 our o'f being 4nnother. She opeidy fa- 
 voured her title to the succession ; 
 and the prince was commended to her 
 naajesly's protection. In the begin- 
 ning of February, 1567, the new 
 iiing of Scotland was murdered in a 
 very barbarous manner, by the con- 
 Jfivaace of the earl of Murray, who 
 was (he queen's base brother; and 
 on the 15th of May following, she 
 was married to John Hepborne, earl 
 of Bothwell, a Hian of an ambitious 
 temper, and dissolute manners, and 
 who in reality had been Lord Darn- 
 jey'o murderer. From this tine a se 
 ries of infelicities attended her to the 
 end of her life. The diflereut views 
 and interests of the nobility, clergy, 
 and ijentry, in regard to religious and 
 political aflairs, had so broke the 
 peace of the kingdom, that all things 
 appeared in the greatest disorder and 
 confusion. The earl of Bothwell was 
 forced to fly into ' Denmark to save 
 his life; the queen was seized, carried 
 prisoner to Lochlevyn, and was treat- 
 ed on the road with such scorn and 
 contempt, as her own personal dignity 
 might, one would think, have secured 
 lierfrom. Though that mdeed was 
 greatly obscured, for she was put uitO 
 very mean apparel; and when the 
 inhal>ilants of the town came out to 
 meet her, she made a most disgraceful 
 figure, being covered with dust and 
 tears. She was convejed tr>tlie|)ro- 
 vost's lodgings, and committed to the 
 care of Murray's niolTier, who, •• hav- 
 ing been James the Vlh's concubine, 
 insulted much (says Camden) over the 
 unfctirtunaie and afflicted queen, boast- 
 ing that she vva^ the lawful \',i{e of 
 
 James V. and that her son Murray 
 was his lawful issue." What aiipra- 
 vated Mary's misfortunes was, that 
 sije was believed to have been the 
 cause of Lord Darnley's deatli, in 
 order to revenge the loss of David 
 Uizio, a musician, supposed her gal- 
 lant, and whom Lord Darnley had 
 iillrd on that account. Be this as it 
 wi!!, wheii Queen Elizabeth heard of 
 this treatment of the queen of Scots, 
 she seenjed fired with i'ldignation at 
 it, and sent Sir Nicholas Throgmorton 
 into Scotland, to expostulate with the 
 conspirators for it, and to consult by 
 what means she might be restored to 
 ner liberty. But Queen Elizabeth 
 was by no means in earnest, she was 
 not that friend to the queen of Scots 
 which she pretended to be; and if she 
 wasiiot in some nieasure the contriver 
 of these troubles tw her, there is great 
 reason to ihink that she secretly re- 
 joiced at them. When Queen Eliza- 
 bttlj was crowned, the queen of Scots 
 had assumed the arms and title of the 
 kingdom of England; and this in- 
 dignity Elizabeth could never forget, 
 as not thinking herself quite safe, 
 while Mary harboured such preten- 
 sions. Having been detained a pri- 
 soner at Loclilevyn eleven months, 
 and most inhumanly forced to comply 
 with many unreasonable demands, 
 highly detrimental to her honour and 
 interest, she escaped on the 2ad May, 
 I5(i8, from thence to Hamilton-castle. 
 Here, in an assembly of many of tha 
 nobility, there was drawn a sentence, 
 declarujg, that the grants extorted 
 from her majesty in prison, among 
 which, was a resignation of the crown, 
 were actually void from the beginning, 
 upon which, such great numbers of 
 people came in to her assistance, that 
 within two or three days, she got an 
 army of at least 6OOO. On the other 
 side, Murray with great expedition 
 made all preparations imaginable to 
 ittack the (juecn's ibrces, before they 
 became too formidable; and when
 
 Li teres! ing Narnttires^ Enigmas^ Epfgrams, Poetry,, S^c. 457 
 
 Miey joined biittle, li?r majesty's 
 army, consisting of raw soldiers, \vor> 
 soon defVa{ed, and she was obliged to 
 save herself by flight, travellin.^ in oiu 
 day sixty miles, to the house of iVIax- 
 well Lord Harris. Frons tiience slie 
 dispatched a messenger to Queen Eli- 
 zabeth willi a <iiamond, which slie 
 had formerly received from her, as a 
 pledge of mutual amity ; signifying 
 that she would come into England, 
 and beg her assistance, if her rebel- 
 lious subjects continued to persecute 
 her any farther. Qiieen Elizabeth re- 
 ttirned her a very kind answer, with 
 Jarge but most unmeaning j)romises, 
 of doing her the mast friendly offices 
 Before the messenger returnetJ, she, 
 rejecfTng the advice of her fiieihds, 
 found means to corsvey herself into 
 England, landing, on the I7th of May, 
 at Workington, in Cumberland ; and 
 on the same day, wrote letters in 
 the French tongue, with her onu 
 hand, to Queen Elizabeth ; in which 
 she gave a long detail of her misfor- 
 tunes, desiring her protection and aid 
 against her rebellions subjects Queen 
 Elizabeth affected to comfort her, 
 promised to protect her according to 
 the equity of her cause ; and, under 
 pretence of greater security, com- 
 manded she should be carried to Car- 
 lisle. Now the unfortunate queen of 
 Scots began to perceive her own er- 
 ror, in not following the advice of her 
 friends. England, instead of being a 
 sanctuary to the distressed queen, was 
 perhaps the worst place she could 
 have come to : for being denied ac- 
 cess to Queen Elizabeth from the first, 
 and tossed from one prison to another 
 for the space of eighteen years, is 
 Avhich she had often struggled for 
 liberty, she was at length brought 
 *o a trial, condemned, and beheaded, 
 for being concerned in a conspiracy 
 against the life of Queen Elizabeth. 
 She professed to die for the Romish 
 religion, and has since been consider- 
 ed as a saint by that church. Shoi 
 
 was executed within the ca«tle of 
 Foiheriii'hay, upon the Sth of Febru- 
 ary, 1.586" 7> and inferred on the 1st 
 of .•\ui:u>t in the cathedral church 
 of Petei borough : but her remains 
 were taken u|) afterwards by her son, 
 and removed to a vault in Henry the 
 VII. 's chapel, in Wcstminster-Abbev, 
 where a most magnifirent monument 
 was erected to her mesnorv. 
 
 A Cat in the Court of Chancery. 
 
 A PASTRYCOOK in London, had 
 a cat which he found very mischiev- 
 ous among his pastry, and being tired 
 with the repeated deprcdationsof her 
 tenderfoot breaking through the tops 
 of his more tender patties, his in- 
 terest got the better of his affection 
 to puss, and he ordered his apprentice 
 to tie her in a bag, and carry her 
 half a mile from home, and there 
 turn her loose m the street. This ex- 
 pedient did not succeed ; the cat was 
 at home as soon as the boy, though 
 the experiment was often rfjieated, 
 and the distance of her removal great- 
 ly extended. One day, upon seeing 
 the cat unexpectedly return home, 
 the poor pastrycook (who had a cause 
 of twenty yei^rs standing in the Court 
 of ChanceryJ exclaimed, " Hang the 
 cat, I wish she was in the Court of 
 Chancery ; I am sure she would never 
 get out of that place." The appren- 
 tice hearing his master's wish, and 
 being a litle out of humour that bis 
 former attempts f^iiled, and quite ig- 
 iiorairt of the wit of his master, in- 
 stantly set off with puss into Lincoln's- 
 Inn- Hall, and turned her adrift. The 
 ca^, who found the court as full of 
 lawyers, as her master's shop was of 
 tarts, ran like a mad thing from side 
 to side of the court, and at length 
 over the chancellor's lap, threw down 
 liis ink, disordered his notes, and 
 created so much confusion in the 
 couit, that for a time it put a stop 
 to all pleadings; until at length the 
 3N
 
 •458 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 chancellor, with more warnilh than 
 became a mail in liis high station, 
 (but he had a natural antipathy to 
 cats) asked who it was tliat brought 
 the cat amongst them ? I'he poor boj 
 who Iiad waited to see how puss had 
 conducted herself, was so terrified, 
 that he thought it best to confess, and 
 accordingly told the chancellor that 
 his master liad often sent him out to 
 lose the cat, but that she constantly 
 returned, and hearing his master say 
 that morning, that if he could but get 
 thecal into the Court of Chancery, he 
 was sure she would never get out 
 again, he had, in obedience to his 
 master's wish, though not his orders, 
 turned her out anions Iheui. The 
 chancellor vvasa man of humour ; and 
 upon inquiring the name or the pastry- 
 cook, he found he was a plaintiff in 
 a cause of long standing. 
 
 Memoirs of Rear-Admiral Kempcn 
 fdt, 
 
 IT appears by the register of St. 
 Margaret's, Westminster, that Richard 
 Kempenfelt was born on the iOlh of 
 December, 1715. 
 
 He was a son of lieutenant-colonel 
 Kempenfelt, a native of Sweden, 
 whose excellent character, under the 
 name of Captain Semtri/, is recorded 
 by Mr. Addison, as one of the Spec- 
 tator's club. At the revolution, he 
 followed the fortune of James the II. 
 but was afterwards invited by Queen 
 Anne to accept a commission in her 
 service, and in the reign of George 
 the First, died lieutenant governor of 
 Jersey. The colonel left two sons and 
 two daughters, neither of whom were 
 ever married, 
 
 The admiral's brother, Gustavus 
 Adolphus Kempenfelt, esq. was bred 
 in the land service, and appointed a 
 captain in the 57th regiment, the 9lh 
 of March, 1737 *. i" this station lie 
 renviincd upwards of twelve years, 
 nnd retired from the service on the 
 
 13th of May, 1769, when he was 
 eldest captain in the regiment. This 
 gentleman sent two hundred guineas 
 to the subscription at Lloyd's, for the 
 relief of the widows and children of 
 the unfortunale seamen who lost their 
 lives in the Royal George. 
 
 The late admiral entered very early 
 into the naval service, and was ap- 
 pointed a lieutenant in 1740, but did 
 not obtain the rank of post captain un- 
 till January 1757, soon after which he 
 sailed in the Elizabeth of 6i guns. 
 Commodore Steevens, with three 
 others of the line, for the East Indies. 
 They reached St. Augustine's Bay, in 
 Madagascar, in August, but it was 
 the '24lh of March, 1758, before 
 Commodore Steevens arrived at Ma- 
 dras, owinu to his having gone first to 
 I'lonibay, on the Malabar coast. — 
 Captain Kempenfelt was Commodore 
 Stecvens's captain in three naval ac- 
 tions fought on the Coromandel coast 
 in 1758 and 1759, in each of which 
 he greatly distinguished himself. 
 
 On the death of Admiral Steevens, 
 Admiral Cornish succeeded to the 
 command, and leaving his own ship 
 the Lenox, of 74^ guns, hoisted his 
 flag on board the Norfolk, keeping 
 Captain Kempenfelt as his captain. 
 With this admiral he sailed in ) 7^'~» 
 on the expedition against Manila, imd 
 was one of the captains, whose pru- 
 dent and skilful management in hind ing 
 the troops on a very dilficult shore, is 
 taken notice of by Sir William Draper. 
 The same commander also wrote that, 
 as a small acknowledgment of the 
 great services which the whole army 
 had received from Captain Kempen- 
 telr, the admiral's captain ; he had 
 begged lie would act at Cavite, with 
 a commission as governor for his ma- 
 jesty, being well assured that no one 
 could discharge that trust with more 
 conduct and abilities. Admiral Cor- 
 nish sent home the captain with his 
 dispatches, and mentioned that he had 
 been of the greatest assistance to iiiin
 
 Interesting Narratiiet^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetrg, .^r. 459 
 
 duriiiir the course of the enterprize, 
 ami t'lat Iiis great merit made it his 
 duty to recommend him as a very 
 able aiul i:ood oiKcer. 
 
 After the peace. Captain Kempen- 
 felt commanded theNorfulk, a guard- 
 ship at Portsmouth. 
 
 When not on service, hs constantly 
 dnring the peace, spent part of tiie 
 year in France, not in amusements and 
 pleasures, but in search of profession- 
 al knowledge, in whicii, it may with 
 truth be said, that if he did not excel 
 every naval conniiander in Europe, he 
 was at least equal to any. 
 
 When Sir Charles Hardy was ap- 
 pointed to command the western 
 squadron, or the grand fleet, as it was 
 commonly called. Lord Sandwich 
 made an ofTer of the post of first cap- 
 tain to the admiral to that excellent 
 officer. Captain Elliot ; but Captain 
 Elliot most nobly replied, that he 
 thought CaptainKempenfelt the fittest 
 officer for that important post, as he 
 conceived him to be the most expe- 
 rienced officer in the service, with re- 
 spect to fighting in line of battle, and 
 the manoeuvres of a fleet ; and he was 
 not sure, but the captain had reason 
 to be disgusted at being so long over- 
 looked. This had the desired effect; 
 the ofter of first captain to Sir Charles 
 Hardy was made him, and accepted, 
 and after Sir Charles's death, he 
 served in the same station under Ad- 
 mirals Geary and Darby. He was 
 also one of the captains who sat on 
 Sir Hugh Palliser's court martial. 
 He was soon after made an admiral, 
 with abilities for the first place on that 
 list. His first cruize was in December 
 J781 ; he had under him twelve ships 
 of the line, and on the IQlh fell in 
 with the French fleet under M. de 
 Guichen, of twenty-one sail of the 
 line, two of them with troops on board; 
 notwithstanding the great inferiority 
 of his force, he followed the French, 
 and while ^lonsieur de Guichen was 
 drawing into a line of battle, Admiral 
 
 Kempenfelt pushed between him and 
 his convoy, and took great part of 
 them, with upwards of lOOO land 
 forces on board. As it would have 
 been very uHadvisable for him to enter 
 into battle with so superior an enemy, 
 lie returned with his prizes, leaving 
 Mons, de Guichen to wonder how he 
 had lost them. After this he was out 
 in the Bay under Admiral Barrington, 
 when he intercepted the French con- 
 voy for the East Indies, with the 
 Pegase of 74, and the Actionnaire 
 of 6i guns. 
 
 When the dreadful accident hap- 
 pened which deprived the nation ot 
 this valuable conmiander, he was on 
 the point of accompanying Lord Howe 
 to the relief of Gibraltar. He was wri- 
 ting in the cabin of the Royal George, 
 of J 00 guns, while hove upon a careen 
 at Spithead, in order to have the water 
 pipe of the powder room repaired, at 
 half-past ten in the morning of Aug. 
 '^9t 1782, when the ship was overset 
 in a strong squall ; she filled and went 
 to the bottom in the space of a minute 
 or two, so that only her top-masts 
 appeared at the water's edge. Up- 
 wards of 500 gallant seamen were 
 lost, besides officers ; and about 330 
 men, with Captain VVaghsrne escaped. 
 
 Too mucli honour cannot be paid 
 to Admiral Kempenfelt's memory ; 
 independent of his naval abilities, 
 his private life was of that sort, which 
 never fails to insure the friendship of 
 mankind ; but above all, he permitted 
 his professional conduct to be squared 
 only by valour and duty, at a time 
 when this country had to lament that 
 other officers of equal rank sacrificed 
 every noble -consideration to private 
 pique, political manoeuvres, or parlia- 
 mentary intrigue. His abilities were 
 known to all the naval powers, and 
 he was justly esteemed as brave and 
 able a sea officer, as this or any other 
 nation ever produced. His character 
 in private life rendered him an acquisi- 
 tion to every man who had the hap- 
 3 N 2
 
 460 Literaty CuriosiiieSy Epitaphs^ ll'ondeifid EventSy 
 
 piiiess of his acquaintance ; and as an 
 officer, it will be renieinbeied as lonj: 
 as the British navy exists. 
 
 Anecdotes of a Russian Parson. 
 SOME of ti)e y'>unij nobility, <^li() 
 servtil about tlie person of I'eler the 
 Great, as a sr>rt of military clianiber 
 lains, under the title of Denshieks, 
 (now only given to ronimnn soldiers, 
 or rather recruits servin;; personally 
 their officers) Iiad been ph\ing sf^nie 
 pranks on a inidnight ramble, which 
 came to Peter's ears in form of com 
 piaint, and at which he was much 
 enrayed against the perpetrators, 
 though unable for sojue time to dis- l 
 covet ?'• cir names. ' 
 
 His chaplain was suspected by some 
 of 11, c yiunL; ofirnilers, Jo have re- 
 moved this < bstacle to their punish- 
 ment, uhicii followed very quickly 
 the disrcjvery in a shower of blows 
 from his cudgel, they were llu-re- 
 fore resolved to revonj^e them- 
 aelvpo on the officious parson, whose 
 decided taste for good brandy, (then 
 by no means uncommon in his cloth,) 
 soon furni^lu;d them with an opportu- 
 nity of doing; whilst one parly was 
 carousing with the devoted priest, and 
 treating him with large cups of his 
 favourite liquor below stairs, another 
 was piling up all the furniture of his 
 apartment, immeiJiately over Peter's 
 bed-chamber, oo a round table in the 
 middle of ihe rooni, on which the\ 
 placed his lookinguhiss, and to crown 
 the pyraniid, a large bowl of punch. 
 To this new species of tower of Babel, 
 they fastened a string let through a 
 hole in the adjoininc apartment, where 
 one of the actors was stationed ready 
 to pull it on a preconcerted signal. 
 The parson full of brandy and glee, 
 was con«luctei' with some difficult) 
 up to his apartment by his bountiful 
 hosts, who had rather over-done the 
 business, so that blowing out the 
 1 -ht, just as he had reached his door, 
 their plot was almost rendered unne- 
 
 cessary, bv the violence with vvhicii 
 he measured his length on the tloor : 
 this was the signal for pulling tho- 
 string, a!id do«n canie the whole t;.'- 
 bte, edifice, v\ith such a noise, as 
 made the enfiperor start from his 
 couch ami nm i!|) stiiirs vsith his cud- 
 gel, to correct (lie young ilogs, who 
 were of course suspected to he in 
 fault; but wlr<>t was his astonislinicnt, 
 when he found lliens all Kin;^ apjva- 
 rtiitly ashep in their beds, and th.e 
 parson dead drunk on the Hoor of his 
 rtxtm, swimming in punch, with all 
 his furniture scattered about the room, 
 even to the I'joking-glass, winch was 
 I shattered to pieces, the application of 
 I his cnilgel, brought him in some ile- 
 gree to Ijis senses, but not so far as to 
 account to Peter for the general wreck 
 and the sea of punch. Indeed the poor 
 man was nearly as much astonished 
 as the emperor: and long took it 
 for a trick of his old antagonist Satan, 
 for the many pulpit phillipics he liad 
 ulterred against tliat arch rebel. 
 
 Giles Jollup the Grave and Broun Sally 
 Green. 
 
 A DOCTOR go prim, and a gempstress so 
 tight, 
 Hob-a-nobb'd in some right inarasqniD ; 
 Tliey sucli'd up the cordial with trutst de- 
 light: 
 Giles Jollup the Grave was just five feet in 
 height, 
 And tour feet the brown Sally Green. 
 
 — " And as," said Giles Jollup, " to-mor- 
 row I go 
 " To physic a feverish land> 
 " At some six-penuy hop» or perhaps the 
 
 " mayor'8 show, 
 " Yon'll tumble iu love with some smart 
 •' ciiy beau, 
 '^ Apd with him share your shop in the 
 " Strand." — 
 
 — " Lord! bow can you think so?" brown 
 Sally Green said ; 
 " You must know mighty little of nie; 
 ' For if you be living, or if yon be dead, 
 " I swear, 'pon my honour, that none ia 
 " your stead 
 " Shall husband of Sally Green be.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas^ Epigrams, Poetrg, Sfc. 461 
 
 " And if eVr for HiioUier my iicart -hould 
 *' decide 
 " Faiise to yon and the faith which T 
 ' gave. 
 <' God grant that, at dinner, too amply 
 
 " supplied, 
 " Over ealin^ may give rae a pain in my 
 
 " side ; 
 *' May yoiir ghost then bring rhubarb to 
 " phytic tlie briiie, 
 " And send her well-do-ed to the grave." 
 
 The sempstress is s.lsnt; the stranger com- 
 plies, 
 And jii^ wig from his phiz deigns to pull. 
 AdzooliS ! whai a .squall Saiiy gave through 
 
 surprize ! 
 Like a j)ig that is stuck how she open'd her 
 eyes, 
 When she recognized Jollup's bare sknli ! 
 
 Each mifs then exclaim'd, while she tnrn'd 
 up her snout. 
 — " Sir, your hrad isn't fit to be seen !" 
 Away went poor Giles, to what place is '^^ The pot-lmys ran in, and the pot-boys ran 
 ' not to.'d ; ■' out, 
 
 J^nily wept, till she blew her nose sore ! 
 But scitrre had a twelvemonth elapsed, 
 
 wlieu behold ! 
 A brewer, quite stylish, his gig that way 
 roll'd, 
 Andstopp'J it at Sally Green's door. 
 
 Ilis wealth, his pot-belly, and whisky o( 
 cane, 
 ."•onn made her untrue to her vows ; 
 The steam of strong beer now bewildering 
 
 her brain. 
 He caught lier while tipsy ! denials were 
 vain, 
 So he carried her home as his spouse. 
 
 Aud now the roast-beef had been bless'd by 
 the priest. 
 To cram now the guests had begun : 
 Tooth and nail like a woli fell the bride oji 
 
 the feast ; 
 Nor yet h;:d the clash of her knife and fork 
 ceased. 
 When a bell— ('twas a dustman's)— toU'd 
 one !" 
 
 Th€n first with amazement Brown Sally 
 Green found 
 That a stranger was stuck by her side ; 
 His cravat and his rnffles with suuff were 
 
 embrown'd ; 
 He ate not, he drank not, but turning him 
 round. 
 Sent some pudding away to be fried ! ! ! 
 
 Hit wig was furn'd forwards, and short 
 was his height ; 
 His apron was dirty to view : 
 The women fob ! wondrous) were bnsh'd 
 
 at his sight : 
 The cats, as they eyed him, drew back, 
 (well they might) 
 For his body was pea-green and blue ! 
 
 Now, as all wish'd to speak, but none 
 knew what to say. 
 They look'd mighty foolish and queer : 
 
 At length spoke the bride, while she trem- 
 bled — " I pray, 
 
 « Dear sir, your peruke that aside you 
 " would lay. 
 
 And couldn't conceive what the noise was 
 about. 
 While the doctor address'd Sally Green. 
 
 " Behold rae, thou jilt-llirt ! behold mel"^ 
 
 he cried; 
 " You have hrohen the faith which yau 
 
 " gave 1 
 " God grants, that, to punish your false- 
 
 " hood and pride, 
 '• Over-eating should give you a pain in 
 
 " your side: 
 " Come, swallow this rhubarb, I'll physic 
 
 " tbe bride, 
 " Aisd send her well-dosed to the grave!'* 
 
 Thus saying, the physic her throat he forc'd 
 down. 
 In spite of whafe'er sheoonid say ; 
 Then bore to his chariot the damsel so 
 
 brown ; 
 Nor ever again was she seen in that town, 
 Or the doctor who wisk'd her away. 
 
 Not long lived the brewer; and none since 
 that time 
 To make use of the hrewhouse presume; 
 For 'tis firmly believed, that, by order sub- 
 lime. 
 There Sally Green sufTers the pain of her 
 crime. 
 And bawls to get out of the room. 
 
 At midnight four times in each year doe« 
 her sprite 
 Which shrieks make the chamber re- 
 sound; 
 " I won't take therheubard !" she squall* 
 
 in affright, 
 While, a cup in his left-hand, a draught 
 in his right, 
 Giles JoUnp pursues her around. 
 
 With wigs so well powder'd, their fees 
 while they crave, 
 Dancing round them twelve doctors are 
 seen ; 
 They drink chicken-broth, while this hor- 
 rible stave 
 U twang'd through each nose—" To Giles 
 JoUup the Grave, 
 
 *' And partake of some strong or small " And his patient, the sicU Sally Green I" 
 
 (t beer !"
 
 462 Literary Cur hsities^ EpitapJii^, Jl'onderft/l Erentf^ 
 
 How to examine a Witness. 
 
 Btirrisier. CALL John Tomkins. 
 
 Witness. liei e — (is sworn. ) 
 
 B. Look this way — What's your 
 name? 
 
 IV. John Tomkins. 
 
 B. John Tomkir.-s eh ! And pray 
 John Tomkins, what do you know 
 about this affair? 
 
 W. As I was a going along Cheap- 
 side — 
 
 B. Stop, stop! not quite so fa'^t, 
 John Tomkins. When was you going 
 alono Cheapside? 
 
 W. On Monday, the 26ih ot 
 Juno. 
 
 B. Oh, oh! Monday, the 26th 
 of June — And pray, now, how came 
 you to know that )t was Monday, the 
 26th of June? 
 
 W. 1 remember it very well. 
 
 B. You have got a good memory, 
 John Tomkins — here is the middle ol 
 November, and you pretend to re- 
 inember your walking along Cheapside 
 in the end of June. 
 
 IV. Yes, sir, I remember it as if 
 it was but yeiterday. 
 
 B. And pray, now, what makes 
 vou remember it !^o very well ? 
 
 W. I was then going to fetch a 
 midwife. 
 
 B. Stop there if you please, 
 Gentlemen of the jury, please to at- 
 tend to this— So John Tomkins, you, 
 a hale, hearty man, were going to 
 fetch a midwife. Now, answer me 
 directly — look this way, sir — what 
 could you possibly want with a mid- 
 wife ? 
 
 W. Iwantedtofetch her to a neigh- 
 bour's wife, who was ill a-bed. 
 
 B. A neighbour's wife! What, 
 then, you have no wife of your own ? 
 
 W. No, sir. 
 
 B. Recollect yourself, you say 
 you have no wife ol your own. 
 
 W. No, sir ; J never had a wife. 
 
 B. None of your quibbles, friend; 
 I did liot ask you rf you ever had a 
 
 wife. I ask you if }ou havt now a 
 wife? and you say no. 
 
 VV. Yes, sir ; ant! J say truth. 
 
 B. Yes, -sir! and no, sir! and 
 you say truth; we shall soon find tliat 
 out. And was there nobody to fetch 
 a midwife but you ? 
 
 W. No; my neighbour lay ill 
 himself — 
 
 B. What ! did he want a midwife 
 too ? (a loud laugh.) 
 
 IV. He lay ill off a fever; and so 
 I went, to serve him. 
 
 B. No doubt, you are a very ser- 
 viceable fellow in your way. But 
 pray, now, after you had fetched the 
 midwife, where did you go i 
 
 W. I went a little way to call 
 upon a friend — 
 
 B. Hold, what lime in the day 
 was this ? 
 
 \V. About seven o'clock in the 
 evening. 
 
 B. It was quite day-light, was it 
 not? 
 
 ]V. Yes, sir ; it was a fine summer's 
 evening. 
 
 B. What ! is it always day-light 
 in a summer's evening? 
 
 IV. 1 believe ho— (smiling.) 
 
 B. No laughing, sir, if you 
 please ; this is too serious a matter for 
 levity. What did you do when you 
 went to call upon a friend? 
 
 iV. He asked me to take a walk ; 
 and when we were walking, we heard 
 a great noise— 
 
 B. And where was this? 
 
 JV. In the street. 
 
 B. Pray attend, sir — I don't ask 
 you, whether it was in the street — I 
 ask you what street ? 
 
 JV. I don't know the name tf th« 
 street, but it turns down from — 
 
 B. Now, sir, upon your oath — 
 do vou say you don't know the name 
 of the street. 
 
 fV. No, I don't. 
 
 B. Did you never hear it? 
 
 IV. I may have heard it, but I 
 can't say I remember it ?
 
 Ifderesthg Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetrif, S^c. 463 
 
 B. Do you always forget what 
 you have heard 1 
 
 B. I don't know that I ever heard 
 it ; but I may have heard it, and fui- 
 got it. 
 
 B. Well, sir, perhaps we may 
 fall upon a way to make you remem- 
 ber it. 
 
 W. I don't know, sir; I vvould 
 tell it if I knew it. 
 
 B. Oh! to be sure you would; 
 you are remarkably communicative. 
 Well, you heard a noise, and I sup- 
 pose you went to see it too. 
 
 W. Yes; we went lo the house 
 where it came from. 
 
 B. So! it came from a house; and 
 pray what kind uf a house? 
 
 ^r. The cock and bottle, a public- 
 house. 
 
 B. The cock ami bottle! why I 
 never heard of such a house. Pray 
 what has a cock to do with a bottle ? 
 W. I cant tell, that is the si;Tn. 
 B. Well, and what passed then ? 
 W. We went into see what was 
 the matter, and the prisoner there. 
 B. Where? 
 
 W. Him at the bar, there: I 
 know him very well. 
 
 B, You know him ? how came 
 you to know him ? 
 
 W. We worked journey-work fo- 
 getker once; and 1 remember him 
 very well. 
 
 B. So I your memory returns: 
 you can't tell the name of the street, 
 but you know the name of the public- 
 house, and jou know the prisoner at 
 the bar. You are a very pretty fel- 
 low! and pray what was the prisoner 
 doing.? 
 
 W. When I saw him, he was— 
 B. When you savr him ! did I ask 
 you what he was doing when you did 
 not see him? 
 
 W. I understood he had been i 
 fighting. j 
 
 B. Give us none of your under- ; 
 standing, tell what you saw. 
 
 W. He was ririnkii g some Hol- 
 lands and water. 
 
 B. Are you sure it was Hollands 
 and water; 
 
 IV. Yes; he asked me to drii:k 
 with him, and I just put it to my lips. 
 B. No doubt you did, and I dare 
 say, did not take it soon from them. 
 But now, sir, recollect you a,re upon 
 oath — look at the jury, sir — np<ta 
 your oath, will you aver, that it was 
 Hollands and water? 
 W. Yes, it svai. 
 B. What; was it not plain gin ? 
 IV. No; the landlord said it was 
 Hollands. 
 
 B. Oh ! now we shall come to the 
 point. — The landlord said! Do you 
 believe every thing the landlord of the 
 cock and bottle sa) s ? 
 
 }V, I don't know him enough. 
 B. Pray what religion are you of 2 
 W. I am a Protestant. 
 B. Do you believe in a future 
 state ? 
 
 W. Yes. 
 
 B. Then, what passed after yoa 
 drank the Hollands and water? 
 
 W. I heard there had been a fight, 
 and a man killed ; and I said, " Oh ! 
 Robert, I hope you have not done 
 this: and he shook his head. — 
 
 B. Shook his head ; and what did 
 you understand by that ? 
 W. Sir! 
 
 B. I say, what did you under- 
 stand by his shaking his head ? 
 W. I can't tell. 
 
 B. Can't tell!— Caii't you tell 
 what a man mean^ when he skakes 
 his head? 
 
 W. He said nothing. 
 B. Said nothing ! I don't ask yoti 
 what he said — What did you say? 
 JV. What did 1 say ! 
 B. Don't repeat my words, fel- 
 low ; but come to the point at once. 
 — Did you see the dead man ? 
 
 W. Yes; he lay in the next room. 
 B. And how came he to be dead? 
 \V. There had been a fight, as I 
 said before—- 
 
 B. i don't want you to repeat 
 what vou said before.
 
 46"4r Literary Crfrhsifie-v, Epitaphs, irt>}i<Wful Ereat-'i, 
 
 W. There liad been a fi^^ht be- 
 tween him and the— 
 
 B. Speak up — his lordship don't 
 hear you — can't you raise your voice? 
 
 W. There !i"id been a iight be- 
 tween him and the pvisonei-r— 
 
 B. biop there — Pray when did 
 this fight bei^in 1 
 
 W. I can't tell ex?-clly ; it miph' 
 be an hour before. The man was 
 quite dead. 
 
 B. And so he miaht if the fipht 
 had been a month before; that was 
 not what I abked 30U. Did you see 
 ihe fighi ? 
 
 W. No — it was over before we 
 fame in. 
 
 B. We! what we? 
 
 W. I and my frien<j. 
 
 B. Well — an(i it was over — and 
 you saw nothing? 
 
 iV. No. 
 
 B. Gem'men cf tlie jury, you'll 
 please to attend to this ; tie positively 
 swears he saw nothing of the fight 
 Pray, sir,, how was it that you saw 
 nothing of the fight? 
 
 IV. Because it was over before I 
 entered the house, as I said before. 
 
 B. No repetitions, friend. — Was 
 there any fighting after you entered? 
 
 W. No, all was quiet. 
 
 B. Quiet! you just now said,' 
 yoM heard a noise — you and your pre- 
 cious ftiend. 
 
 IV. Yes, we heanl a noise — • 
 
 B. Speak up can't you? and don't 
 hesitate so. 
 
 W, The noise was from the people 
 crying and lamenting — - 
 
 B. Don't look to Hie — look to the 
 jurv — well, crying and lainentins. 
 
 iV, Crying and lamenting that it 
 happened; aad ail blaming the deaii 
 man. 
 
 B. Blaming the dead man! whvj 
 I should have thought him the most 
 (juiet of the whole. — (artotifr tawrli. ) 
 — But what did they blame him for? 
 
 IV. Because he struck the prisoner 
 seseral limes without any cause. 
 
 B. Did \ ou see him strike iho pr;.. 
 
 SOIK'l ? 
 
 fV. No; hut I was told that-- 
 
 B. We don't a^k yon what you 
 "ere told — What di<l you see? 
 
 IV. I saw no more than I have 
 told you. 
 
 B. Then why do you come here 
 to tell us what you heard ? 
 
 IV. I only wanted to give the rea- 
 s«n why the company blamed the 
 deceased. 
 
 B. Oh ! we have nothing to do 
 with your reasons or theirs either. 
 
 W, No, sir, I don't say you have. 
 
 B. Now, sir, remember you are 
 upon oath — you set out with fetching 
 a midwife; I presume you noiv went 
 for an undertaker ? 
 
 JV. No, I did not. 
 
 B. No! that is surprising; such 
 a friendly man as you ! 1 wonder the 
 prisoner did not employ you. 
 
 IV. No, I went away soon after. 
 
 B. And what induced you to go 
 away ? 
 
 JV. It became late; and I could 
 do no good. 
 
 B. I dare say you could not — 
 And so you come here to do good ; 
 don't you ? 
 
 rr. I hope I havedone no harm — 
 I have spoken like an honest man — I 
 don't know any thing more of the 
 matter. 
 
 B. Nay, I shgn't trouble you far- 
 ther — (ivitness retires but is called 
 ao;ain.) Pray, sir, what did the pri- 
 soner drink his Hollands and water 
 out of.? 
 
 IV. A pint tumbler. 
 
 B. A pint tumbler! what! a 
 rummer? 
 
 \V. I don't know — it was a glass 
 tliat holds a pint. 
 
 B. Are you sure it holds a pint? 
 
 V/. I believe so. 
 
 B. Ay, when it is full, I suppose. 
 — You may go your ways, John 
 romkins. — A pretty hopeful leliow 
 that. (Aside.)
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas^ Epigrams^ Poetry, 8fC. 465 
 
 Sinscular JVords. 
 
 WHAT word is that in the English 
 language, to which if yu add a syl- 
 lable, it will make it shorter? Short 
 is the word required; to which if vou 
 add er, it will then be shorter. Thi 
 ib a paradox; for the word by being 
 made actually longer, becomes really 
 shorter. A nd now, vice versa, to 
 contrast with the above, there are 
 two or three words, which bv being 
 made shorter in one sense, becomes 
 longer in another. P\ai£ue i^ a word 
 of one syllable; take awav the two 
 first letters, and there will a word of 
 two syllables remain, by which il 
 appears the ague is four-sixths of the 
 plague: we have three other words of 
 this kind, viz. league, \eagtie, and 
 T vague. 
 
 The two longest monosyllables are 
 strength and straight, and the longest 
 words 
 
 Trsnsmagnificandnbandanciality 
 Kilksvervanscotchdorsprackerngotchdera 
 Honorificabilitudinitatibusque 
 Techoicatholicatooiatopatoppidoa 
 
 There is a word of five syllables, 
 but take awav one, aii'l it becomes no 
 syllable — Mo — no syllable. 
 
 Two words wherein the five vowels 
 follow in si(ccessive order — Abstemi- 
 ous — Facetious. 
 
 Words of five and seven syllable^ 
 yet not more than one vowel —Insipi- 
 dity — Visibility— Indimibility. 
 
 Heroine is, perhaps, as peculiar a 
 word as any in our language; th» 
 two first letters of it are male, the 
 three first female, the four first a 
 brave man, and the whole word a 
 brave woman. It luns thus — he, her, 
 hero, heroine. 
 
 We have a term for a beggar, which 
 may be divided without the transposi- 
 tion of a single letter, with only thf 
 addition of an apostrophe, so as to 
 make a complete simple sentence -. 
 and such a sentence as a person of rh 
 description may generally addresh 
 
 I himself withal : \\\e Xerm \', mendicant* 
 and the sentence arising from its divi" 
 sion — mend I can't, which most of 
 them mas too tiily assert 
 
 These words deserve remark : tar* 
 tar, papa, and murmur, in English ; 
 toto'xn Latin; and berber in the Turk- 
 !vh language; because they each of 
 them are the same syllable twice re- 
 peated. 
 
 We have several d ssvll».ble words 
 which lead the same backwards as 
 foi wards, such a^ aga, ala, lesel, re- 
 fer, £)"€. But we have very few which 
 constitute a different word bv a re- 
 verse reaiting; ther^* are these, lever, 
 ever, repel, sever, which if ad back- 
 \vard>-, tv.iike rtvel, reve, leper, reves; 
 and cera, by dissolving the d'pthong, 
 when retrogiidely read will be area. 
 
 Curious Accumulation of Money at 
 Compound Interest. 
 
 IT has been calculated that a single 
 penny put out at five per cent, com- 
 pound interest, at the birth of our 
 l)lessed Saviour, would have produced 
 in the year ] 801^', the enormo'i- suni 
 of of'jpo.pi) 1 ,000,000.000,000,000, 
 000,000,000,000,000, sterlins, whicli 
 .votild make a bulk of solid <zold of 
 I iO million times t'le magnitude of 
 the whole earth ; whiNt at simph- in- 
 terest, the same sum, in the same 
 space of time, would only have pro- 
 Juced seven shillings and sixpence, 
 
 A ludicrous Circumstance. 
 
 THE following ludicrous circum- 
 stance occurred, at a pari-h church 
 in the north of Devon : the clerk be- 
 ing confined by illness, the sexton 
 was employed to oflliciate for him, 
 and not being notorious for orthoura- 
 ,)hy, found some difficulty in esecu- 
 iing the duty of his new office: by 
 vay, however of apolc>gi7ins for his 
 ietects, he gave out to be tun^ the 
 welfth verse of the eightvfou. th 
 -aim, which runs thus, " Much ro- 
 ller had I keep a doer." 
 3 o
 
 4G6 Literarij Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wondei-fnl Events, 
 
 The Miner and the Blackbird^ 
 
 TWICE ev'ry year old Gripns went 
 To .see his farm and take his rent ! 
 Full fifty miles from home to lay, 
 Which still he travell'd in a day. 
 A mfagre paiiltry steed he press'd, 
 And in a thread-bare coat was dress'd. 
 At noon, beside some hedge be tarry'd 
 To dine; — his food he with him carry'd — 
 Mean time, hard by, his hungry steed 
 Crppp'd the green herbage of the mead. 
 
 Cheap jonrnies thus he often made ; 
 But, ah ! what caution can evade 
 Ills unforeseen ! A storm, one day, 
 By chance o'ertakes him on the way : 
 The clouds discharge their liquid stores, 
 And o'er his head loud thunder roars : 
 With terror seiz'd, and wet to skin. 
 He hastens to a neighb'ring inn : 
 There while he waits, the sun its light 
 Withdrew, and fast came on the night; 
 In vain the rigour of his fate 
 He curs'd ; to go 'twas now too late; 
 By the fire-side he took his seat. 
 For nothing call'd to drink or eat. 
 
 It ctanc'd the landlord knew his guest, 
 And, archly sneering, thus address'd : 
 *' Sir, yon are wet — may I be bold^ — 
 ♦' I greatly fear you'll get a cold : 
 " 'Tis needful to take something warm; 
 " A dram would surely do no harm." — 
 " Trams," cried the miser, " are my hate; 
 " They breed disease, and hasten fate." 
 " What shall I get you then to eat ? 
 " My larder's always stor'd with meat : 
 *' Choose you a beef, or mutton steak ?" — 
 " Flesh suppers. Sir, I seldom make : 
 *' At present indispos'd, I think 
 " I'm not inclin'd to eat or driak ; 
 " But if a blackbird you could get, 
 " Perhaps a morsel I might eat : 
 " Let suppers little be and light ; 
 " This maxim I held always right;" 
 
 His rising wrath the host snppress'd, y 
 A scheme revolving in his breast, >■ 
 
 To punish his penurious guest : 3 
 
 Hard by, a cobler's stall he sought : 
 His lame and fav'rite blackbird bought: 
 In idle words no time be lost: 
 Five shillings was the sum it cost. 
 Almighty gold! what can restrain 
 Thy boundless pow'r ? The bird was slain, 
 (O cruel deed !) and dress'd in haste, 
 Before the hungry miser plac'd. 
 lie supp'd, retiring went to rest, 
 And golden dreams bis mind possess'd. 
 
 The morn with blushes overspread, 
 Now oer the world its lustre shed : 
 Vie rase, impatient of delay, 
 13i;Uiaii(ied what he had to pay : 
 Wlieu on t\is bill be fix'd his eyes, 
 Ijow great bis wonder and surprize! 
 He rav'd with fury unrestrain'd. 
 And of the injury co mpIaioM, 
 
 " Yonrrage," the host reply 'd, "forbear, 
 
 " The mystery unfolded here ! 
 
 " My house with various plenty stor'd, 
 
 " Tbe bird you chose could not afford ; 
 
 " That a sick guest should be debarr'd 
 
 " From what he lik'd, I thought 'twas hard, 
 
 " A neighb'ring friend I therefore try 'd, 
 
 " And his tame bird my want supply'd ; 
 
 " A crown it cost — 'twas dear, 'tis true, 
 
 " Bnt that's a trifle. Sir, to you." 
 
 The cobler, sun^mon'd, strait appear'd; 
 And now the miser's doubts were clear'd: 
 The bill reluctantly he paid. 
 And, mingling imprecations, said, 
 " Henceforth to inns I bid adieu, -- 
 " Andall their vile imposing crew : 
 " Should thunder, light'ning, bail, orra In, 
 " O'ertake me on the road again, 
 ' Beneath some friendly hedge I'll lie, 
 " And their severest rage defy; 
 " Or in a barn, on straw, my bed, 
 " With wand'ring gypsies lay my head." 
 
 Epitaph on a profligate Mathematician, 
 at Manchester. 
 
 HERE lies John Hill, 
 
 A man of skill. 
 His age was five times ten : 
 
 He ne'er did good, 
 Had be liv'das long again. 
 
 The Merciful Maid. 
 
 A BUTCHER with a heart as hard as stone, 
 And callous to an orphan lambkin's moan. 
 Seizes his fated prey with horrid grin, 
 And whistles whilst the knife be plunges 
 
 in; 
 Nell, who the scene beheld, with piteous 
 
 look, 
 And shrugg'd-up shoulders thus her feelings 
 
 spoke : 
 "The barb'rous wretch! thffS unprovok'd 
 
 to spill 
 " The blood of a poor Iamb that ne'er did 
 
 ill. 
 " See how the little creature pants for life, 
 " The murd'rer's jaws clasping the reeky 
 
 " knife : 
 " To do a deed like this, were I to gain 
 " The universe — e'en such a bribe were 
 
 *' vain." 
 Thus Nell wifb tenderness exclaims and 
 
 feels — 
 While all the lime — good soul ! — she skins 
 
 live eels t 
 
 Epitaph on a Woman who had Three Hus- 
 
 bands. 
 
 HERE lies the body of Wary Sextone, 
 Who pleas'd three men and never vcx'd one; 
 Thisisbe can say beneath the ue.\t sloae.
 
 Inferestbuf Narratives^ Enigmas^ Epigrams, Poetry, ^u\ 48' 
 
 The Life of Richard Patch, icho ions 
 executed for the Murder of Mr 
 Blight, at HorsemorigerLfine, on 
 Tuesday, April 8th, 1 S'j6. 
 
 RICHARD Patch, a broad 
 slioulderetf athletic uian, about 5 
 feet 7 inches liigh, and strong madf 
 in proportion, who, in the commission 
 of the crime which brought him to an 
 untimely end ; evinced consummate 
 hypocrisy and base ingratitude ; and j 
 in the manner which he suffered lor 1 
 the same, a most morose and sullen I 
 disposition. He was born in llie year 
 1770, at the village of Heavytree, 1 
 Devonshire, within two miles of Exe- 
 ter. This family had a name some- 
 what respectable among the yeomen j 
 of the country. The grandfather of 
 Patch had a freehold estate in land, of 
 50I. per annum, in a neighbouring vil- 
 lage. His father, according to the 
 custom of many of the petty farmers 
 who reside on the sea-coast in the dis- 
 tant counties, was a smuggler. He 
 was noticed in his time for a fierceness 
 and intrepidity peculiar to this class 
 of men. Many feats ar« yet related 
 of his dexterity and enterprise in elud- 
 ing and daring the oHicers of the ex- 
 cise. He has been said frequently to 
 have cut his way through bodies of 
 this military police, and to have spread 
 such a terror by his name, that it was 
 often judged safer to connive at, than 
 to resist, his depredations of the re- 
 venue. Richard Patch's mother was 
 ■d woraau respected and estimable in 
 her condition. But as the life of a 
 'smuggler is a scene of constant hazards 
 and escapes, his father was at length 
 laid hold upon by the otticers of the 
 revenue, condemned in heavy fiies, 
 and sentenced to imprisonment for 
 twelve mouths in the new gaol at Exe- 
 ter. When the period of his contine- 
 ment was at an end, he ditl not, how- 
 ever, desert his station in the prison ; 
 but was engaged by the keepers as 
 one of the turnkcy~s. In this situation 
 
 he died, leaving several children ; the 
 eldest of whom was Richard, who had 
 been bound apprentice to a butcher at 
 Ebmere, a small village, the most no- 
 torious in Devonshire for the tlagitiuos- 
 ness of the manners and morals ot its 
 inhabitants. Nothing perhaps contri- 
 buted tf> taint his mind more in early 
 youth than the excessive indulgence ot 
 his father. His pockets were perpetu- 
 ally tilled with money, which conse- 
 fjuently prodnceil iitlolence, riot and 
 dissipation. Upon the death of the 
 elder Patch, this his son succeeded to 
 the above-mentioned estate. He now 
 quitted the trade of a butcher and 
 commenced farmer, uniting with his 
 own paternal estate, a small farm 
 which he rented. It seems, however, 
 that he farnjed with little or no suc- 
 cess, as he was soon obliged to mort- 
 gage his estate for more than one half 
 of its value. Some years, however, 
 were passed at Ebmere, when an ac-^ 
 cident drove him from his home. From 
 motives, which it is unnecessary to 
 i exann'ne ; he had quarrelled with the 
 I reetor of his parish, and, in order to be 
 [ revenged, he removed the produce of 
 I his farm froni olF his land, without 
 setting out the tenths for the rector. 
 1 In other words, he refused to pay the 
 I tythes. The consequence was a law 
 j suit, and an immediate action in the 
 exchequer. Patch, shuddering at the 
 expence of the litigation and the cer- 
 tain result which awaited hitn,and per- 
 haps somewhat embarrassed in his cir- 
 cumstances, quitted Devonshire in the 
 spring of the year, 1S03. Upon his 
 coming to London, he immediately 
 presented himself at Mr. Blight's, with 
 whom his sister, at that time, lived as 
 a menial servant ; together with a bro- 
 ther of his (of whom it is somewhat 
 extraordinary that ho mention was 
 made in the course of his trial) who 
 was brought up a baker, but, for 
 some reasons which it unnecessary to 
 enter into, was now in the service of 
 Mr. Blight, as a kind of overseer or 
 30 2
 
 468 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaplts, IVonderfftl Events^ 
 
 siip»^rintend "lit in the shippinjj busi- 
 ness. Is niiist here be obbtrvtd, that 
 IVlr. Bhiriit hud foimeilv been a West 
 India nierchanl, and h;i(i tailed; \\\k>\\ 
 which heeiigafjed in Ih-- ship-breakinij 
 business, and was at this lime carry- 
 ing It on with great success. His env 
 barrassfiient, in tact, arose from th» 
 sev«^rity and proseruliun of ceitaii 
 trustees, who acte(j for bis forim i 
 creditors; thus his old debts, (hirin^' 
 the time in whicli he was eneaficd ii 
 the West-India business, weii:hed bin. 
 down, and not any contracted in Jus 
 jiew occupation. Patch had not Iring 
 entered the service of Mr. Bhglit, 
 when, from jealousy, or some uneasi- 
 ness, his brother quitted it. He had 
 been disappointed in endeavouring to 
 set up tor lnn»self in the busuiess of a 
 baker to which he was bred ; and this 
 niortitication, perhaps aggravated liv 
 the conduct of his brother Richard, 
 excited such a disgust ni lli^ 
 liiitid, that he innnediately went d 
 sea and sailed to the West Indies, 
 where lie soon died a victim to the 
 yellow fever. Soon after Richard had 
 engaged with Mr. Blight, he natur.d|\ 
 cast a look towarcts his estate in Oe- 
 vonshire, and commenced a jouri)e> 
 into liiat country for tl e purpose ot 
 making an arrangement respecting it. 
 Accordingly, in 1804, he disposed ol 
 his land ; from which, having first 
 been obliged to clear ofl' every embar- 
 rassment, he received a net sum of 
 3301. Two hundred and fifty of this 
 Ml. Blight received, for the purpose 
 hereafter mentioned ; and the remain- 
 ing hundred pas^ed through the hands 
 of his bankers, whom lie probablv 
 constituted as such, upon the credit 
 of this money. The next year 1805, 
 on the 23d Sept. Mr. Blight who was 
 induced to come to town by means of 
 Mr. Patch, during the absence of the 
 latter, was mortally wounded by a 
 pistol, vvhich was secretly fired at him 
 and which occasioned his death the 
 next day. The case was partif ularly 
 
 enquired into by A. Graham, esq. the 
 inai;istrate, who, sus tcting I'aU h of 
 ihe h'.rnd miirder of ins friend and 
 master, rommilted him to prison, and 
 his trial came on at the Surry assizes, 
 continued by adjournment to Horse- 
 moiiger-lane, in llit Borough, Saturday, 
 \pril 5, 1806". So great was the in- 
 n'rest excited by the approaching in- 
 vestigaticiU, that by five o'clock in trie 
 morning, a vast concourse of the po- 
 pulace hud .surrounded the avenues 
 to the Session-house, Hor'-emonger- 
 !ane. On the opening of the court, 
 it was with the utmoit ditficuliy that 
 tilt law otlicers, and others whose ap- 
 pearance was necessary, couhl obtain 
 111 entrance. The persons of rank 
 »\ho obtained admission were, the 
 Dukes of Susse\, Cumberland, and 
 Orleans ; Lords Portsmouth, Grant- 
 ley, Cranley, Montfort, William Rus- 
 ^c•l, Deerliurst, and G. Seymour ; Sir 
 .John Frederick, Sir John Shelley, Sir 
 riiomas Turton, Sir William Cla\ton, 
 Sir J. Mawbey: Count Woronzow, 
 I he Russian Ambassador and his se- 
 cretary. The magistrates who had 
 met for that purpose the preceding 
 Wednesday, had made every accom- 
 modation that the court would admit 
 of; it was floored and lined with 
 matting ; and the upper parts covered 
 with green baize. New railing was 
 put up on Ihe sides and rear, and a 
 box fitted up for the royal family. 
 The prisoner was conducted into court 
 soon after nine o'clock, and took his 
 station at the bar attended by two or 
 three friends. He was genteely dres- 
 sed in black, and perfect composure 
 marked bis countenance and manner, 
 ■'recisely at ten o'clock, the Lord 
 Chief Baron Macdouald took his seat 
 on the bench ; and the business of Ihe 
 commission was opened by arraigning 
 the prisoner in the usual form. To 
 die indictment he pleaded in an audi- 
 ble voice, " Kot Guilty," and put 
 aiinself on his country. He peremp- 
 torily challenged three jurors; after
 
 In feresthif/ Narratives, Eniffmas^ Epigrams, Poetry, %c. 469 
 
 which a jiir}' was sworn, the iiidict- 
 nienf road, and tlie ca^e brieHy ojuntd 
 by Mr. Pooley, Mr. Garrow as lead- 
 ing counsel lor the prosecution, begun 
 by toucijin^ upon the ;iuful nature o(" 
 the duty imposed upon hiuj — the ne- 
 cessity of the juiy attendinn: to the 
 evidence with the utmost care. He 
 noticed and deplored, the iotiy details 
 which iiad been puhlisiied upon the 
 subject, and begj^ed the jury to dis 
 miss tlieni from their minds. He then 
 said, he should proceed to state the 
 relative situation of the prisoner and 
 deceased, and the nature of the 
 premises where the transaction took 
 place. From the account he should 
 give of the premises, it would result 
 that it was absolutely impossible that 
 the deceased could have met with his 
 death from any other hand — he should 
 then detail other circumstances, 
 whence the same result must necessa- 
 rily follow. Mr. Garrow proceeded 
 to state that Mr Blight was a sl;ip 
 breaker; that he had a sister of the 
 pris(uier for his servant, in the sptin;; 
 of 1 803 ; that the prisoner visited his 
 sister; expressed himself distressed, 
 and entered into Mr. Blight's service 
 for mere victuals and drink ; after- 
 wards he had a salary. Mr. G. then 
 detailed the circumstances of Mr. 
 Blight's having been in embarrassed 
 circumstances and of having made 
 some nominal transfer to the prisoner 
 in 1803. Last August, Mr. Blight 
 went to Margate ; the prisoner con- 
 ducted bis business, and was to re- 
 ceive one-third of the profits, for 
 which he was to pay 125(il. — 2501. 
 he did pay, and for the remainder, 
 he gave a draft for lOOOl. on or,e 
 Groom. On the l6th of September, 
 he said that Grooro could not take 
 the draft up. A fresh one was given, 
 which was due September 20. On 
 the igih of September, Mr. Blight 
 went to Margate; the prisoner was 
 left at Deptford, and in the evening 
 sent the servan»,Kitcheiier, for oysters. 
 
 While she was absent, a ^nin was fired 
 through the shutters ; v\hi< hgun, Mr. 
 Garrow said, he meiitit to say uas not 
 tired by any enemy, but by the pri- 
 soner with a view to the fatal catas« 
 trophe. Fron) the nature of the pre- 
 wiises, no person couid cscajK* from the 
 irate nor by water On the next day 
 the prisoner wrote to Blight, giving 
 iiini an account of the transaction, and 
 concluded by sayin^:, that he should 
 be glad to see him. Blight arrived in 
 ti.un on the 2od of Seplen:l)cr; the 
 piisoner did not say that lOOOl, 
 draft was not taken up, but led 
 the d;ceas*d to believe the money was 
 safe : he then went to London, with a 
 strict charge from Mr. Blight to bring 
 the money with him. On his return 
 they spent the evening together, and 
 {ior tlie first time) in the back par- 
 lour, where the deceased was shot. — 
 At eight o'clock the prisoner quitted 
 the deceased, went to Kitchener, and 
 asked for the key of the counting- 
 house, stating himself to be ill. He 
 went til rough the counting house to 
 the privy, and shut the door hard. 
 Kitchener instantl^ (as she says) saw 
 the flash of the pistoi, and Blight came 
 into the kitchen wounded. She rushed 
 out, and shut the street-door. The 
 difficulty here was. tiiat she should 
 have heard the privy-door shut, and 
 the pistol fiash at the parlour-door al 
 the same moment. The pr soner came 
 in immediately to Blight. Mr. Gar- 
 row then proceeded to state, that 
 when the surgeon, Mr. Ashley Corper 
 was called in, he asked tiie deceased 
 w horn he suspected ? the answer was, 
 Mr. Patch tells me he has reason to 
 suspect oneWebster. But Mr. Garrow 
 said, he would prove he was not the 
 murderer, by shewing where he was at 
 the time : he named another person of 
 the name of Clarke,becausehe had had 
 a quarrel with Blight,but this man also 
 would be proved to liave been else- 
 where. Mr. Garrow next proceeded 
 to dwell upon the motives that could
 
 470 Literary Curiosities, Epitajjhs, IVonderfttl Events, 
 
 liave induced the prisoner to commit 
 tiie murder. He wished to possess 
 part of the business, hut without pay- 
 niftnt of the consideration njoiiey. Ii; 
 all his representations about the draft 
 of lOOOi. there was not one word of 
 trutl), Wliat was iiis conduct subse- 
 quent to the fital event? He told 
 Mrs. Blij:ht tlie lOOOl. was paid, and 
 go\ the papers relivtive to the businef-s 
 from Mrs Bhght : he talked to the 
 witness, Kitchener, as to what she 
 should say. He was in the uniform 
 practice of wearing boots; but he 
 sliould prove tliat when Blight was 
 niur<lered, lie had shoes and stockings; 
 the stockings were aflirwards found 
 in his sleeping-room, plastered with 
 mud, such as was on the wharh The 
 |)istol he could not produce, but the 
 ramrod was found in the privy. The 
 first witness called was Mr. R. Frost, 
 H |)ublican, who kept the Dog and 
 Duck. Tile fust part of his testimony 
 (for he was called in a second time) 
 related merely to the fact of the death 
 of Mr. Blight. He stated, that, on 
 the morning of the 23d of September 
 last, he was sent for by the prisoner 
 in consequence of the deceased having 
 been killed by a pistol-shot ; he went 
 and f«und him leaning on his liands 
 and wounded. Vlr. Ashley Cooper 
 said, he was called into the assistance 
 of Mr. Blight. Upon examining him, 
 he found he had received a wound near 
 the navel, and another in the groin. 
 He observed that they were gun-shot 
 wounds; and as the body of the decea- 
 sed was considerably iuHated, he pro- 
 nounced them mortal: he observed the 
 bowels coming through the wounds. 
 The next morning Patch came to him, 
 si'.id the deceased was in extreme 
 pain, and wished to know w hether any 
 thing could be done for him. The 
 witness told him he feared there could 
 not. This was about seven in the 
 morning. He rose and went to him, 
 and found him in a very swollen state. 
 Hf promised to rtluin in the aftei- 
 
 noon with a physician. He went to 
 town, and came back with Dr. Bar- 
 rington ; but Mr. Blight had been 
 dead about three-quarters of an hour. 
 He had not the smallest doubt that 
 the wounds were the occasion of his 
 death. Richard Frost was again called 
 up to speak to the firing of the gun. 
 He stated, that on Thursday, the ]9lh, 
 there was the report of the firing of 
 a gun at Mr. Blight's house ; he went 
 out to ascertain the cause, but did 
 not perceiNe any person coming from 
 the premises; and he was in a situation 
 in which, liad the person who fired it 
 attempted to make his escape, he 
 must have observed him: it was about 
 eight in the evening, and it was dark ; 
 but lie was near enough to have seen 
 any one run aw ay, or climb the wall. 
 Miss Ann Davis and Miss Martha 
 Davi«, sisters, who happened to be 
 walking by the premises in a different 
 direction from the last witness, stated, 
 that they also saw the flash, and heard 
 the report of a gun, and must have 
 .seen any person attempting to escape ; 
 but all was quiet, and they concluded 
 that tiie {;un was fired by some one 
 on the premises. After this head of 
 evidence, to establish thai the gun 
 fired on the Thursday preceding the 
 death of Mr. Blight, was not by any 
 stranger, but by the prisoner, witnes- 
 ses were then called tw relate the cir- 
 cumstances which occurred on the 
 '23d. Mr. Michael Wright stated, 
 that he was going past Mr. Blight's 
 house a little after eight, when he 
 heard the report of a pistol in the 
 house ; and having become acquainted 
 by the rumour of the former attempt, 
 he was induced to go up to the house 
 with a view to offer his assistance : he 
 knocked for some time, and was not 
 admitted ; but insisting on having the 
 door opened, Mr. Patch made liis 
 ;i|)pearance, and began informing him 
 what a dreadful accident bad hap- 
 pened. The witness was impatient at 
 hearing this sturv : he thought that
 
 Interesting Xarratt'res, Enigynas, Epigrajns, Pcefri', ^c. 471 
 
 some means should be rather adopted 
 to pursue the murderer, and recoiii- 
 niended Patch to commission him to 
 apply to Bow-street ; as an enquiry 
 taking place instantly after the assas- 
 sination would most probable be at- 
 tended with success. Patch seenird 
 reluctant, and thought that no <;ood 
 effect could result (rora it. The witness 
 was rather indii;nant at his as^^istance 
 not being accepted, and therefore 
 went away. Hester Kitchener's evi- 
 dence applied to the two days. She 
 stated, that on the 15th she had been 
 ordered by the prisoner to shut up the 
 shutters of the house earlier than 
 usual. Her master and mistress were 
 then at Margate. At eight o'clock, 
 the prisoner sent her out for some 
 oysters, and, as she returned, slie 
 heard the report of a gun ; but 
 through the court-yard, the only pas- 
 sage to the house, she did not see 
 any one. When she saw Patch, he 
 cried out, " Oh, Hester, 1 have been 
 shot at!" She rejoined, " Lord for- 
 bid?" They then looked for the ball, 
 which she found. The witness con- 
 tinued to stale that her master re- 
 turned to town on the Monday morn- 
 ing ; that in the evening he and the 
 prisoner drank tea together in the 
 back parlour, and afterwards had 
 some grog. Her master was fatigued, 
 heavy, and sleepy with his journey 
 and the liquor. Patch came down in 
 a hurry to her in the kitchen, and, 
 cojnplaining of a pain in his bowels, 
 wanted a light to go into tlje yard. 
 She gave it to him, as also a kev of 
 the counting-house, through which it 
 was necessary he should pass. She 
 iieard him enter tlie back place, and 
 slam th« door alter hiin, and immedi- 
 ately she heard the report of a pistol. 
 Her master ran down into the kitchen 
 exclaiming, " Oh, Hester, 1 am a 
 dead man!" and supported liin>stlf 
 upon the dresser. She ran uj> to shut 
 the door ; and as she was half w ay 
 down the passage, onherrauru, sht; 
 
 heard Patch knocking violently for ad~ 
 mittdnce. He asked what was the mat- 
 ter; she told him ; on which he went 
 down and offered his assistance. He 
 asked the deceased, if he knew of any 
 one who could owe him a grudge? Mr. 
 Blight answered, '* No, as he was not 
 at enmity with any nian in the world." 
 Mr. Christopher Morgan was passing 
 by when the fatal shot was fired ; he 
 went to the house, and saw Mr. Blight 
 lying in a wounded s-ituation, and re- 
 commended Mr. Patch, in the fir>t 
 instance, to search the premises all 
 over. Patch told him and his friend 
 Mr. Berry, who was with Mr. M. to 
 go and search an old ship that was off 
 the wharf, as he had reason to think 
 that the perpetrator might have escap- 
 ed there ; for he heard a noise in that 
 direction on tlie night when the ^un 
 was previously tired They went, but 
 found that the ship was Kins at the 
 distance of sixteen feet from the 
 wharf; that it was low water; that 
 from the top of the wharf to the mud 
 was ten feet ; that the soil was soft 
 mud ; and that any one who might 
 attempt to escape that way must have 
 been up to his middle ; besides, the 
 mud did not bear the appearance oi 
 any one having passed through it ; 
 he was therefore perfectly convinced 
 that no one escaped over the whatf 
 towards the water. Mr. Berry cor-^ 
 roborated this evidence. Six other 
 persons, who hap|)ene(i to he in differ- 
 ent directions leading from Mr.Blight's 
 house to the public roads, most dis- 
 tinctly proved, that whtn tlie shot 
 was tired, which killed Mr. Blight, 
 every thing wua qiiiet on the outside 
 of the premises ; that theie was rio 
 appearance of any person att«;nipting 
 to escape; and if tht-re liad, that there 
 was no pojsihility of his eluding obser- 
 vation. The next series of evidence 
 went to infer, that the jjiisuner wa3 
 
 { carrying on a systcH) of (kiusion ar.<i 
 fraud against the deceased, in respfct 
 
 i to ctrtaiu ptGui.iary transijctions bv-
 
 472 Literarif Ciwhsitief!^ Ejritaphs^ Wonderjml Events, 
 
 tween them. It was proved hv Mrs. 
 Biiirlif, the decciised widow, that her 
 husband, who had ralleii into some 
 embarrassments, had, in order to mask 
 Ins property made a nominal assign- 
 ment of it to Patch : but tlie assign- 
 ment was not to be carried into effect, 
 nniess the trustees of his creditors 
 sliouhl, as lie app.reheiuicd, become 
 iinportimate. Tiiis cmifidential as- 
 signment Mr. Patch wislicd to con- 
 vert into an absohite sale for consider- 
 alion givei> on his part ; but Mrs. 
 Blisiit declared, that lie had never 
 paid her husband any money, except- 
 ing 2501. part of I, '2.501, the consider- 
 ation for a share of his business. The 
 next strong branch of evidence, re- 
 ferred to the stockings which the pri- 
 soner had on the night that Mr. Blight 
 lost iiis life. It was proved that 
 lie generally wore boots; but the 
 witnesses' memory enabled them to 
 say, that he had while stockings on 
 during the evening of the Tid. Mr. 
 Stafford, of the Police office, stated, 
 that on examining the bed-room o^ 
 Mr. Patch, tliey were folded up like 
 a clean pair ; but on opening them 
 the soles appeared dirty, as if a person 
 liad walked in them without shoes: 
 the inference from this was that the 
 ])risoner had taken oft' his shoes, in 
 order that he might walk out of 
 the privy without being heard by 
 the maid. The last important fact 
 was, the discovery of the ramrod of a 
 pistol in the privy, and the proof that 
 that place had not been recently visited 
 by any person suffering under a bowel 
 complaint. This, and a vast variety 
 of circumstantial evidence, concluded 
 the case on the part of the crown 
 The prisoner, being called upon for 
 liis dt fence, delivered in a long and 
 elaborate address, supposed to have 
 been written by his counsel ; which 
 he requested might be read by the 
 officer of the court; it began by thatik- 
 ing the learned judge for moving his 
 trial from a place where prejudice 
 might Lave operated against him ; 
 
 complained much of that prejudice 
 having been excited against him by 
 premature reports in the public jour- 
 nals; and then entered into a general 
 train of argument, inferring that in a 
 case of life and death, juries ought 
 not to convict upon circumstantial evi- 
 dence ; the more especially where they 
 appeared, as in the present case, so 
 dubious. He stated, that whatever 
 might be the result of their judgment 
 upon the evidence, it was almost a 
 matter of indifference to him on his 
 own account ; for he was borne down 
 and subdued by the unjust prejudices 
 of the public, by the long imprison- 
 ment he had endured, and by the 
 enormous expences to which he had 
 been subjected; but he had those re- 
 lations who made life dear to him : 
 he had children who looked up to 
 Iiim for support, and who would 
 not only be dishonoured, but ruined, 
 by his death. The only evidence 
 which he adduced was, that of three 
 persons, who spoke to his general 
 character. The Lord Chief Baron 
 summed up the evidence in the most 
 perspicuous manner, occupying nearly 
 two hours in commenting upon every 
 part of it. The jury then retired for 
 about a quarter of an hour, and re- 
 turned with a verdict of Guilty. — His 
 lordship then proceeded to pronounce 
 the awful sentence of the law '.- — He 
 observed, that the prisoner had begun 
 his career of guilt in a system of fraud 
 towards his friend ; he had continued 
 it in ingratitude, and had terminated 
 it in blood. He then directed that 
 he should be executed on Monday, 
 and that his body should be delivered 
 for dissection. During the whole of 
 his trial this criminal never betrayed 
 the slightest symptom of embarrass- 
 ment : his appearance evinced a seem- 
 ing composure, which innocence alone 
 could manifest, or the most consum- 
 mate villainy could counterfeit. He 
 also heard the dreadful sentence with 
 a degree of sullen composure, border- 
 ing upon apathy, as if he had pre-
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, S^c. 473 
 
 viously made up liis mind to the event 
 The execution was, however, deferred 
 untill the next morning (Tuesday,) i( 
 being deemed advisable thai he should 
 suffer in common with a man and hi> 
 wife, Benjamin and Sarah Heiring, 
 who had been convicted at Kingston, 
 March 28, of coining shillings, dollars, 
 half-crowns and sixpences, in order 
 to obviate the inconvenience of hav- 
 ing two public executions fullowinj; 
 each other so closely. It was in con- 
 sequence of this suggestion of Mr. 
 Ives to tlie Chief Baron (who with the 
 dukes of Sussex and Gloucester re- 
 tired to his house after the trial) that 
 his lordship was induced to order the 
 respite, which he wrote thus on the 
 margin of the first order for execution. 
 " Let the execution be respited 
 until Tuesday, the 8th of April, 1 806\ 
 
 ' A. M.4C DONALD." 
 After condemnation, Patch remained 
 perfectly calm and unembarrassed. 
 He slept well during the greater part 
 of Saturday night; rose at nine o'clock 
 the next morning ; breakfasted on tea 
 and toast, and attended divine ser- 
 vice at half-past ten. About a quarter 
 before eleven, the Rev. Mr. Mann, 
 the ordinary, preached the condemn- 
 ed sermon, in a style the most impres- 
 sive and affecting; to which Mr. Patch 
 paid the necessary and becoming at- 
 tention. On his return to his cell, 
 the prisoner, for a few moments, 
 looked stedfastly at Mr. Case, tiie 
 turnkey, and then said, " I am inno- 
 cent," but did not attempt to utter 
 another word. At two o'clock he 
 dined, ami made a hearty meal, and 
 appeared as composed as usual during 
 the remainder of the day. He con- 
 tinued to preserve a sullen silence, 
 until Monday aflernoen, when that 
 composure which marked his couiite- 
 uance, the fortitude and cold apathy 
 of indifference left him. He was in- 
 formed, by the ordinary of the gaol, 
 that his friends approached to take 
 tijeir farewell of hira for ever, when 
 
 he gave up all hopes of a reprieve 
 and exclaimed, " Is tliere no mercy to 
 be expected?" His relations, viz : his 
 sister, who had lived with Mr, lilight, 
 another younger brother, who bore a 
 strong resemblance in person to the 
 unfortunate man, and a brother-in- 
 law, vvith his wife, a nephew, and 
 another distant relation, were admitted 
 to him, and remained with him until 
 three o'clock, when they took their 
 last farewell. Patch was now mosi 
 sensibly affected, afid the scene was 
 truly distressing. He embraced each 
 of his relatives, and wept bitterly, 
 clinging to them until the moment had 
 arrived when their absence was re- 
 quired. After this affecting scene, 
 Mr. Ives, the governor of the prison 
 went to his cell, and Patch here ut- 
 tered an expression adequate to a con- 
 fession of his guilt. He said, *• I have 
 confessed my sins to God ; man can 
 give me no relief." This day he was 
 also visited by the Rev. Mr. Mann and 
 three dissenting ministers. In their 
 interviews with him, he evinced the 
 strongest proofs of a penitent sinner; 
 but invariably declined to give any 
 answer to the urgent entreaties of the 
 clergymen, to acknowledge the crime 
 for which he was to die. Mr. Manu 
 remained with him until a late hour 
 on Monday evening. Mr. Graham, 
 the magistrate who committed him to 
 prison, was the last person admitted 
 to see him on this night Before they 
 parted, Mr. Patch took him by the 
 hand, and said emphatically, " We 
 shall, I tru!L,t, meet in Heaven." The 
 three dissenting ministers remained 
 witii him all night ; during the whole 
 of which he appeared extremely peni- 
 tent and devout. In the course of the 
 night, he look a few glasses of wine : 
 and about two o'clock, having become 
 much exhausted, he laid down npun 
 his bed. The dissenting nunisters 
 remained by his side until four 
 o'clock, when he arose and drank two 
 cups of tea, with which he appeared 
 3p
 
 474 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events, 
 
 somewhat refreslied. About lirilf-past 
 six o'clock on Tuesday morning, the 
 Rev. Mr. Mann, and tlie curate of 
 the Rev. Rowland Hill, came to tlie 
 prison ; and after a short interview 
 uith Patch, they, and Herring and 
 liis wife, were conducted to the chapel. 
 Patch and Herring went with the 
 Rev. Mr, Maun to the altar, and re- 
 sumed their devotions ; the weman, 
 Leing a Roman Catholic, went to the 
 left side of the chapel, with a priest, 
 the Rev. Mr. Griftifhs. At e'ght 
 o'clock, Palcii and Herring received 
 the sacrament. At thirteen minutes 
 past eight. Herring carae out of the 
 chapel into the prison, where Jack 
 Ketch, of Newgate, was in waiting to 
 knock off his irons. On his return 
 to the chapel. Patch came out, at 
 seventeen minutes past eight, for the 
 same purpose. He was dressed in a 
 good suit of mourning, and appeared 
 in excellent health. He stood firm, 
 and with very great composure, while 
 the hangman was tying his arm : after 
 this process, he returned with a firm 
 ftep to the chapel, and resumed his 
 devotions. His florid look never for- 
 sook him, but these arose fr©m his 
 constitutional formation; bis lips, how- 
 ever, vrere pale enough to indicate 
 the distracted state of his mind. About 
 five minutes before nine o'clock, the 
 high sherift,the under sheiiff, their otfi- 
 cers and attendants with their wands, 
 came to the dour of the chapel, and 
 demanded tiie bodies of the unfortu- 
 nate suifcrers : and immediately after, 
 they began to move in I lie usual order, 
 followed by Mr. Ives, keeper of the 
 prison. First, came Herring and his 
 wife, and next Patch, with Jack Ketch 
 on his light, carrying in his right- 
 hand a cutlass. When they got to the 
 open yard. Herring and his wife were 
 placed in a sledge, and draws to the 
 entrance of a staircase leading to the 
 ap|>aratu6 for the execution. Herring 
 and his wife ascended the stairs Viih 
 as much firmness as could be expected. 
 
 Patch displayed his usual intrepidity. 
 While Jiick Ketch was in the act of 
 fastening the ropes, the Rev. Mr. 
 Mrtun alttiided Patch, and, for the 
 last time, attempted to draw from him 
 a confession, but with no betttr suc- 
 cess. The sheriff tiien went to him 
 and entreated him to confess ; but he 
 stedfastly refused. At this time the 
 cap was drawn down upon his face, 
 and every thing was prepared to 
 launch him into eternity. Apparently 
 displeased at being pressed so much 
 upon the subject, he now threw him- 
 self considerably back with impatience. 
 From the violent motion of his body, 
 some of the spectators supposed that 
 be meant to br^^ak his neck, as Aber- 
 shaw did on Kennin"ton Common: 
 others apprehended that he was famt- 
 ing away. Neither of these, however, 
 appeared to be the case, as it was 
 evidently the result of a wish to avoid 
 all further entreaty. Mr, Ives, ob- 
 serving Patch throw hin»self bapk, 
 ran to him and exclaimed, " My good 
 friend, what are you about]" Mr. 
 Patch, took him by the hand, and 
 conversed with him for about a minute 
 and a half; and when be was losing 
 him, he parted his band, apparently 
 with much reluctance. A great anx- 
 iety was, at this moment, expressed 
 by the hye-standers, to know whethef 
 Mr. Patch had confessed his guilt to 
 Mr. Ives, in this conversation. Mr. 
 Ives answered, with great politeness 
 to all enquirers, that he could not at 
 present divulge what Mr. Patch bad 
 ct)mmunicated to him, and he perse- 
 vered in this determination, notwitb- 
 staiuling the pressing solicitation of 
 one of the magistrates. He said, how- 
 ever, ^* I believe him to he the man" 
 meaning the man who murdered Mr. 
 Blight. At five minutes past nine 
 o'clock, the sentence of the law was 
 enforced by the falling of the drop. 
 The sufferers were suspended in the 
 following order. At the east-end of the 
 drop, hung Patch: ou his lef^-h»n(d the
 
 Interesting Narratives, EnigtnaSy Epigrams, Poetry, Sfc. 475 
 
 woman, ami «n her left her husband 
 He appeared lor the first miiinle after 
 he was turned off quite dead, when 
 lie was seized with stroni^ convulsions, 
 and it was two minutes before he 
 ceased to move. His body afler hang- 
 ing the usual time was taken to the 
 hospital in the prison, for the county 
 surgeon, for the purpose of being dis- 
 sected. The multitude that assembled 
 to witness this awful ceremony was 
 said to be more considerable than even 
 at the extculiou of Despard.The next 
 morning, the hiijfa sheriff waited upon 
 the secretary of state, with a copy of 
 the letter written by Patch, which was 
 found on the person of one of his rela 
 tives by Mr. Cave, the priiicipal 
 turnkey of the prison. This letter 
 occupied nearly a whole sheet of post 
 paper, and was addressed to a person 
 or persons said to be implicated in 
 this horrid transaction. The secret 
 was only known to Mr. Ives, and the 
 high-sheriff, on Wednesday noon : to 
 the latter, Mr. Ives communicated it 
 the same morning about nine o'clock. 
 It is thought that Mr. Ives apprised 
 Patch on Monday evening, of his 
 having detained the letter above al- 
 luded to. Patch betrayed great emo- 
 tions when this declaration was made 
 to him. He then in fact, acknow- 
 ledged his guilt, by candidly answer- 
 ing two questions p«t to him by Mr. 
 Ives. — " Were the stockings yours 
 that were found soiled in your cham- 
 ber V Answer. — " They were." "Did 
 the report of the pistol, and the slam- 
 ming of the privy-door, happen at the 
 same moment]" Answer. — " No." 
 Patch wrote other letters besides the 
 one found on his sister. These letters 
 escaped the search of the turnkeys. 
 This fact. Patch admitted in a dis- 
 course with Mr. Ives. The above- 
 mentioned letter, it is said, was couch- 
 ed in terms rnther mysterious ; but it 
 nevertheless contained ample demon- 
 strations of Patch's guilt, and, iiidetd, 
 amounted to a full disclosure as re- 
 iuted to himself. 
 
 Anecdote of Dr. Young. 
 
 WALKING in his garden at Wei- 
 wyn, in company with two ladies, 
 (one of whom he afierwards married) 
 tl>e sei-vant came to tell him a gentle- 
 man wished to speak with him. "Tell 
 him, (says the doctorj I am too hap- 
 pily engaged to change my situation." 
 The ladies insisted that he should go, 
 as his visitor was a man of rank, his 
 patron, his friend ; and, as persuasion 
 had no effect, one took him by (ha 
 right arm, the other by the left, and 
 led him to the garden gate, when, 
 finding resistance was vain, he bowed, 
 laid his hand upon his heart, and iti 
 that expressive manner for which he 
 was so remarkable, spoke the follow- 
 ing lines : 
 
 Thus Adam look'd when from the garden^ 
 
 driven, 
 And thas di^pated orders sent from heaven 
 Like him I go, bat yet to go am loath ; 
 Like him I go, for angels drove ns both. 
 Plard was bis fate, but mine still mor* 
 
 unkind, 
 His Eve went with him, bat mine etiilgtay* 
 
 bebiad. 
 
 A remarkable Account of a young 
 Man in the Island of Cephalonia. 
 
 IN the island of Cephalonia, in the 
 Adriatic Sea, lived an Englishman, by 
 name Brown, whose history is not a 
 little extraordinary : At twenty-one he 
 came to an estate of three thousand 
 pounds a-year, in Devonshire, which 
 enabled him to pay his addresses to a 
 lady of high rank, great property and 
 exquisite beauty. She listened to him, 
 and he became deeply is love with 
 her. Before a marriage could take 
 place he lost his estate by a decision 
 in Chancery, which had been before 
 the court more than forty years. The 
 lady then refused to see him any more, 
 which had a melancholy effect on his 
 mind for several years, and left him 
 ever after with an eccentricity in it 
 ihat was apparent in his aclions. As 
 soon as he recovered from hi^ first 
 3 p2
 
 47(5 Literarif Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 stupor, lie vowed revence on the 
 whole sex — paid his addresses with 
 unconinion success to various young 
 ladies, all of wlwm he either debaiich- 
 ert, or deserted in the moment of their 
 expectation. He lived some years by 
 ganiblinw, and on the spoils of women 
 whose fortunes, by some means or 
 otiier, he got into his hands. By the 
 reversal of a decree, he got about 
 SOOl. a-year of his estate back again, 
 on which he travelled. At Aix, in 
 Provence, he contrived to connect 
 himself with a nun, and got by her 
 means into a convent, where he de- 
 bauched her and five others ; then 
 fottunately escaped a pursuit, in which 
 he was in the most imminent danger 
 of being taken and put to death. At 
 Venice he intrigued with an English 
 lady, the wife of a man of large for- 
 tune, when finding this connection 
 gain very much on his mind, he car- 
 ried her off; went to Cephalonia, 
 and admiring both the country and 
 climate, purchased a little estate in it, 
 \%hich consisted of one small mountain, 
 at the foot of which he had a house, 
 ill the middle of. it a cottage, and at 
 tSie top another, with a summer 
 apartment annexed. He lived in these 
 alternately; the lady he carried with 
 him having died, and being buried in 
 the moimtain. After her death he 
 fonned a small seraglio of Greek and 
 other women, with whom he solaced 
 hims<lf when last heard of. He 
 aniiistd himself also with reading and 
 jjiardeninrr, for which his mountain is 
 well-caiculated. 
 
 Oriental Anecdote. 
 
 THE different conduct of the Chris- 
 tians and Mahomedans in India, will 
 appear in a very striking point of view, 
 from the reljition of the following 
 authentic anecdote of Oriental history: 
 Suraee ul Dowla was the grandson 
 of lUe great Alyverdi Kalin, who bad 
 a favorite wife, a woman of extraordi- 
 
 nary abilities and great virtue. When 
 Alverdi was dying, knowing the flighty 
 and tyrannical disposition of his 
 grantlson, whom he intended for his 
 successor, he advised him on all im- 
 portant occasions after his death to 
 consult the old queen, who>.e discern- 
 ment would enable her to foresee 
 dangers, imperceptible to an impetu- 
 ous and inexperienced youth like him. 
 When Surage ul Dowla, instigated by 
 nvarice, intended to attack Calcutta, 
 he consulted this oracle, who advised 
 him against it in the following pro- 
 phetic words : " The English are a 
 peaceable and industrious people, like 
 bees, if properly encouraged and pro- 
 tected, they will bring you honey, but 
 beware of disturbing the hive : you 
 may, perhaps destroy a few of them, 
 but in the end, believe me, they will 
 sting you to death." A prediction 
 which was soon afterwards verified. 
 From this well-known fact, it appears 
 that we were not even suspected of a 
 disposition to enslave the natives of 
 India or even to quarrel with the 
 Mahomedan usurpers, until compelled 
 to it, in order to avoid being enslaved 
 ourselves. 
 
 DR. 
 
 A Political Pun. 
 meetinji some friends ia 
 
 the street whose political opinions 
 were dcmocratical, asked them where 
 they were going. T hey answered, 
 " To dine at the King's Head."-^ 
 " O, then, I guess your dinner : you 
 are going to have a chop, I suppose. 
 
 Memoirs of the Life of John Locke, 
 Esq. 
 
 MR. LOCKE was the eldest son of 
 Mr. John Locke, of Pensford, in So- 
 mersetshire; and was born in August 
 l6'32, at Wrington, about eight miles 
 from Bristol. His father was a captain 
 in the parliament's army during the 
 civil wars under King Charles L
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, $^-c. 477 
 
 Mr. Locke's first rudiments ii) cias 
 sic learning were settled at West- 
 minster school: and from tlience in 
 165 i lie was sent to Christ-Churcfa, 
 Oxon, where he became a student, 
 and took the degree of a Batchelor ot 
 Arts on the 14lh of February, l655, 
 and that of master on the 29th of 
 June, 1()58 He applied himself so 
 vigorously to the study of physic, and 
 Ijained so considerable a knowledge in 
 if, as to deserve the encomium of tlu^ 
 ever celebrated Dr. Thomas Syden 
 Iiam. 
 
 In 16^4, Mr. Locke went secretary 
 to Sir William Swan, envoy from the 
 English court to the elector of Braden- 
 burgh, and some other German prin- 
 ces: but he soon returned to England, 
 and applied himself more diligently to 
 natural philosophy, at Oxford, where, 
 in the year I666, he had the honor 
 of being admitted to a great intimacy 
 with Lord Ashley, afterwards Earl of 
 Shaftesbury. 
 
 In 1670, he began to form the plan 
 of his " Essay on Human Under- 
 standing," and stuck pretty tightly to 
 it for two years, though his frequent 
 avocations and employments «)bliged 
 him to lay it aside for some time after. 
 In 1671, he was admitted a fellow of 
 the Royal Society, And in l6"7C?, his 
 great admirer, Lord Shaftesbury, be- 
 ing made lord high chancellor of 
 England, appointed him secretary of 
 the presentations : but that promotion 
 terniinated with that lord chancellor- 
 ship, who resigned the seals in the 
 end of 1673. 
 
 After iliM, Mr. Locke went abroad 
 for his health, and did not return to 
 England until February, 1689, when 
 he can)e in the tleet that conveyed the 
 princess of Orange. He was then 
 made a commissioner of appeals, 
 worth 200I. per annum; and in 10'95, 
 was promoted to be a commissioner of 
 trade and plantations, worth lOOOl. 
 per annunj, which place he discharged 
 with great succtss, until he was'oblig- 
 
 ed by his asthmatic dior-'er, that 
 daily increased by the air <jf London, 
 io resign it in 1700; when he retired to 
 Oats, in Essex, a seat of Sir Francis 
 Mashani, about twenty-live niiies fiom 
 London; where he spent about fifteen 
 sears in the study of the scripsures 
 chiett\: and when he found his latter 
 end draw near, by an extraordinary 
 decay of his strength, and a sweliinw 
 of his legs, he prp{)ari,'d to quit the 
 world like a good christian, with a deep 
 sense of God's blessings towards him 
 in every stage of life, and an intire re- 
 signaton to his divine will. He died 
 OH the 28th of October, 1704, aged 
 72 years and odd months. 
 
 In all his writings and actions he 
 gave extraordinary proofs of his learn- 
 ing, knowledge of tile world, and the 
 business of it; so that he has deserved- 
 ly obtained the following character: 
 He was prudent without cunning, he 
 gained the esteenj of everv person bv 
 his probity; and was always safe from 
 the attacks of a false friend, ora soj- 
 did flatterer. Averse from all niannor 
 of mean complain auce; his wisdom, 
 his experience, his gentle and obliging 
 manner*, secured him the respect of 
 his inferiors, the esteem ot his equals, 
 and the friendship and confidence of 
 those of the highest quality. He was 
 naturally ch.ohric, but his anger never 
 lasted long. If he retained any resent- 
 ment, it was agauist himself f(>r hav- 
 ing given way to so ridiculous a passion; 
 which, as he used to say, may do a 
 great deal of harni, but never yet did 
 the least good. 
 
 A Poor Pun, 
 
 A Man praising ale, said, that 
 it was such an excellent drink, that 
 ihougii taken in great quantities it 
 always made him fat. " I have seen 
 It, make you lean," leplied the other. 
 " when]" inquired the eulogist. 
 MVIiy, lust night — upon your stici."
 
 47S Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events^ 
 
 All in One Story. 
 
 ONE day, behind my lady's back, 
 My lord atlack'd her maid, 
 And stole a kiss, which she repaid ; 
 
 And gave him smack for smack. 
 
 Pert with such freedoms," Pray,"saysshe; 
 
 " Who kisses with the greatest glee ? 
 
 « Is it my lady ; is it 1 ?"— 
 
 '•' 'Tis yoD no doubt," he made reply. 
 
 " Why, ill good faith, it must be true." 
 
 Resnm'd the wanton dame ; 
 
 " For Tom, and John, and chaplain tog, 
 
 " All say the very same." 
 
 tludihraftie Sketch of a Country Justice, 
 remarkable for Prosecnting those who 
 stole dead Bodies from the Church-Yardi 
 iji his Neigkbeurhood, 
 
 A WIGHT be was, whoso very size 
 
 Speaks bim pacific, grave and wise; 
 
 "Whose double-cliin, and full-fed face, 
 
 Shew jnstice there had fi.x'd her place. 
 
 His Rnowledge, trne, be could not boatt of, 
 
 Yet what he had he made the most of; 
 
 Could charters make, and warrautsdraw, 
 
 With all the petty -plagues of law; 
 
 Could deal his little all about, 
 
 And eke his inch of justice out. 
 
 Since, by his majesty's permission, 
 
 I held a place in the commission ; 
 
 And by a worthy member's bounty, 
 
 Am sub-lieutenant of the county : 
 
 Therefore I ought (so vile the fact is) 
 
 To stop this most inhuman practice. 
 
 If robbing thus the dead endure, 
 
 No man alive can be secure : 
 
 If to kill living men he mnrder. 
 
 To cut up dead men's something further ; 
 
 T' assault a man beside his senses, 
 
 We all allow a great oflTence is ; 
 
 What then's the olTence to hack and maul 
 
 A man that has no sense at all ? 
 
 'Tis very base and vile, you know, 
 
 To give a peaceful man a blow ; 
 
 And surely none so peaceful prove, 
 
 As those that neither stir nor move. 
 
 Could you but see th' inhuman rogues, 
 
 How like a pack of bloody dogs. 
 
 With cruel knives of amputation, 
 
 And axes too of decollation, 
 
 Dismemb'ring saws, incision whittles, 
 
 With lancets, hatchets, and what not else, 
 
 Whose names to hear, without dissembling, 
 
 Would set good christian men a trembling; 
 
 How with less decency by half. 
 
 Than any'bntcher would a calf. 
 
 They slash the poor, unhappy eU, 
 
 VfUo can't so much as help himself, 
 
 As if dead men, they're so despis'd, 
 
 Died only to be anatomiz'd. 
 
 We all ailow, that physic knaves 
 
 Oft carry people to their gravesj 
 
 !j!i1 would esteem it stran^^e, nodonht, 
 That these same men should take 'em out. 
 As if th' fraternity had swore, 
 T undo what they had done before. 
 
 1 therefore, neighbours, who am here, 
 Plac'd ia condition popular, 
 .'^hall punish this same posth'mous murther 
 Upon our diar, departed brother; 
 .\ssert my office too, that by it 
 The dead may 'njoy their graves in quiet^ 
 ^M's in, and none shall dare to stop u», 
 Unless they have their habeas corpus. 
 la'ieto your posts then all, and some, 
 Come beat up my militia drum; 
 To make it known to all the nation. 
 When Justice angry is^«/je'* in a passion^. 
 
 A Dialogue between Robert and Richard^ 
 
 ROBERT mpt Richard by the way, 
 
 Who had been absent many a day ; 
 
 Qnoth Robert, " Richard, how dost do," 
 
 Observing Dick look wan and blue : 
 
 '' Since last we met have matters varied ?" 
 
 '* Oh! wonderful; why Bob I'm married." 
 
 " That is good news," Bob laughing cried 5 
 
 " Not quite so good," poor Dick replied. 
 
 " Why, what's the matter ; wont it do t" 
 
 " No, no, my wife's a very shrew." 
 
 " Nay, that is bad," quoth honest Bob, 
 
 Whilst leaning on his crooked knob, 
 
 •' It is, but not beyond all bounds ; 
 
 " With her I had two hundred pounds." 
 
 " That's well again." " No, troth," qaotk, 
 
 Bob, 
 '• Of that I made an ngly job; 
 <* I dealt in sheep that had the rot, 
 " And every ewe is gone lo pot; 
 " That's bad again." " Not quite 80 bad ; 
 
 " for to the full 
 " I made my money of the wool." 
 " That's well again." " Troth, not so well, 
 " For what I did my fleeces sell 
 '' I bought a cottage, which was burn'd." 
 " Thy tables now are sadly torn'd." 
 " Hold, not so sadly ; in that fire 
 " Did my poor peaceful wife expire.'* 
 
 Epitaph on Thomas Jones. 
 
 HERE for the nonce. 
 Came Thomas Jones, 
 
 In St. Giles's church to ly, 
 Non Welch before. 
 None Welcbman morey 
 
 Till Shon Clerk dy. 
 
 He tole his bell. 
 He ring his knell. 
 He dyed well, 
 He's saved from hell 
 And so farewell 
 Tom Joa«$.
 
 Interest inp Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, S^c, 47§ 
 
 Enigmatical Lint of Fruit. 
 
 A DOG, a consonant, and an in- 
 dustrious in'rect. 
 
 A silly fellow, and what the hedges 
 produce. 
 
 A beam of the sun, and what we 
 ought to flee. 
 
 Two fishes. 
 
 A grain and a consonant. 
 ^j, A disease among fowls, and what 
 the women do use. 
 
 Thrce-fnurths of a file, and the 
 produce of a shrub. 
 
 The support of a house, and the 
 worm of a screw. 
 S4 What is of great use to masons. 
 
 The title of a prince. 
 
 The Bacchanalian's delight. 
 ■ A monosyllable, and four-fifths of 
 a heavenly messenger. 
 
 A pulse, and a consonant. 
 
 A consonant, and four-sixths of 
 useless furniture. 
 
 Three-fifths of brisk, and a conso- 
 nant. 
 
 Three-fifihsof to combat. 
 
 Four-fifths of love, and two-thirds 
 of a grain. 
 
 The Fruits of Industry and Sobriety. 
 
 IN one of the churchesatTaunton, 
 in the county ftf Somerset, is a monu- 
 ment to the memory of Robert Gray, 
 esq. a native of thai town, who being 
 left a poor helpless orphan, went to 
 London to seek his fortune. Here 
 he engaged himself as an errand-boy, 
 and in this state of servitude he be- 
 haved so well, that his master took 
 him apprentice, and when out of his 
 time set him up in a shop ; where, 
 by his industry, care, and diligence, 
 he had such success that he acquired 
 a large fortune. In his old age he 
 declined trade, and returned to Taun- 
 ton, where he built an hospital for 
 sixteen old decayed people of both 
 sexes. Underneath his effigy, on his 
 jmonument, is the following singular 
 inscription : 
 
 Taunton bore him ; London bred hina ; 
 Piety train'd him ; virtue led him ; 
 Karthenrich'd him ; heavea possessed him; 
 Taunton bless'd him ; London biess'd himr 
 This thankful town, that mindful city, 
 Share liis piety and pily. 
 What he gave, and how he gave it. 
 Ask the poor, and you shall have it, 
 Genlle reader, may heaven strike 
 Thy tender heart to do the like; 
 And now (by ^yes have read his story. 
 Give him the praise, and God the glory. 
 
 The Dog characterized. 
 
 OF all the beasts that graze the 
 lawn, or hunt the forest, a dog is the 
 only animal that, leaving his fellows, 
 attempts to cultivate the friendship. of 
 man; to man he looks in all his neces- 
 >ities with a speaking eye for assist- 
 ance ; exerts fur him iill tlie little ser- 
 vice in his power with chearfulness 
 and pleasure; for iiim bears famine 
 and fatigue with patience and resigna- 
 tion. No injuries can abate his fide- 
 lity; no distress induce him to forsake 
 his benefactor: studious to please, 
 and fearing to offend, he is still an 
 humble stedfast dependant; in him 
 alone fawning is not flattery. The 
 health and property of many persons 
 are preserved by this devoted animal's 
 service, as by him the midnight rob- 
 ber is kept at a distance, the insidious 
 thief is often detected, the healthful 
 chace repairs many a worn constitu- 
 tion, and the poor man finds in his 
 dog a willing assi-itant, eager to lessen 
 his toil, and satisfied with the small- 
 est retribution. How unkind, then, 
 ro torture this faithful creature, who 
 has quitted the forest to claim the 
 protection of manl yet how ungrate- 
 ful often the returns to this trusty 
 creature for all its services? 
 
 ^ Reason. 
 
 A MELTING sermon beingpreach- 
 ed in a country church, all wept but 
 one man ; on being asked why he did 
 not cry with the rest, " Oh," said he, 
 " / belong to another parish."
 
 480 Literary CNriosiiies, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 An Account of the Ancient City of 
 Jtrusafim. 
 
 THIS rcnrwiitd city, ihoiii;!) much 
 fnllen from its ancient oranrlcui, is 
 still reckonefl ihc capital of Palestine, 
 Ki;d is much rcsoitcci to either out ot 
 curiosity or devotion, from all parts 
 of the christiiin world. It is situated 
 about thiify miles to the eastward of 
 the ]>.!fditerrane:ui, on a mountain, 
 with stc«'p ascents to it on all sides, 
 except towards the north, and sur- 
 rounded with a deep valley, which i« 
 aoain encompassed with hills; beinji 
 thus placed, as it were, in the midst 
 of an amphitheatre. It is walled 
 lound, but the walls are not very 
 strong; nor iiave they any bastions, 
 but an inconsiderable ditch on one 
 side only. The cily has six ^atcs, 
 i.amcly, those of Bethlehem, Mount 
 Sion, Slerquilina, or the Dung-galP, 
 ^t. i^tephen'?, Uerrxi's, and that of 
 Damascus; besides the Goldcn-g.'Jte, 
 uhich is walled up, because of a pro- 
 phecy theTuiks have among them, 
 that by ihat pate the christians aie to 
 take Jerusalem. The private build- 
 ings are very mean, and the streets 
 are narrow, crooked, and many of 
 them full of ruins; and indeed there 
 is a great deal of waste ground in the 
 city, and the whole is but ihijdy 
 iiihabited. 
 
 The present .Ictusalem does not 
 stand upon the same ground that was 
 taken up by the ancient city; for 
 !Mount Calvary, which is a small 
 eminence upon the greater Mount of 
 i\iO/iah, and formerly appropriated t*> 
 the execution of malefactors, was 
 shut out of the walls as a polluted 
 place* whereas, since our Saviour's 
 sutTiriiig upon it, it has been so re- 
 >cr('nced and resorted to by all chris- 
 tians, that it has drawn the city round 
 about it, and stands now near the 
 middle of Jerusalem : and on the con- 
 trary, agieat part of the hill of Sion 
 is left without the walls, Iq short, 
 
 the only ihmg that renders Jerusalem 
 considerable at present, is the resort 
 of pilgiims thither; and the accom- 
 modatmg them with necessaries seems 
 to be the principal business of the 
 inhabitants. 
 
 It is the seat of a Turkish Sangeack, 
 whose chief care is to collect the 
 Grand Signior's tribute to «ee good 
 order observed, and protect the pil- 
 grims, and the fathers who reside 
 there, from the insults of the Arabs. 
 
 «* 
 
 A Certificate of Marriage. 
 
 DEAN Swift, in one of his pedes- 
 trian journeys from London towards 
 Chester, is leported to have taken 
 shelter from a summer tempest under 
 a large oak on the road side, at no 
 great distance trom Litchfield. Pre- 
 sently a man, with a pregnant woman, 
 were driven by the like impulse, to 
 avail themselves of the same covert. 
 I The dean, entering into conversation, 
 found the parties were destined for 
 Litchfield, to be married. As the 
 situation of the woman indicated no 
 time should be lost, a proposition was 
 made on his pari, to save them the 
 rest of the journey by performing the 
 ceremony on the spot. The otfer was 
 gladly accepted, and thanks being 
 duly returned, the bridal pair, as the 
 sky brightened, was about to return ; 
 but the bridegroom suddenly recol- 
 lecting that a certificate was requisita 
 to authenticate the marriage, request- 
 ed one, which the dean wrote m these 
 words : 
 
 Under an oak, in stormy weather, 
 ( joined this rogue and whore logellier; 
 And none but he v»ho rules the thunder 
 Can put this rogue and w hore asunder. 
 
 A Simile. 
 
 SIR Thomas Overbury says, that 
 the man who has not any thing to 
 boast of but his illustrious ancestors, 
 IS like a potatoe — the only good be- 
 longing to him is under grouud.
 
 Intet^sting Narrativef!^ Enigmas, Fpigrams, Poetry, 8(C. 481 
 
 A Bill oj Fare for a Mayor's Dinner i. 
 
 Que.^n Elizabeth'' Time, at which h 
 
 feasted the Duke of Surf oik, ^c. tl- 
 Lords, Knights, and Gentry of the Count; 
 of Norfolk. 
 
 £ s. d 
 
 EIGHT stone of beef 5 4 
 
 Two collars of brawn 1 
 
 Four geese I 4 
 
 Eight pnits of butter I f: 
 
 Fore quarter of veal It 
 
 Hind quarter ditto 1 (' 
 
 Le» of mntlon 3 
 
 Loin of ditto and shoulder of veal 1 
 
 Brea.st and coast of mul tun 7 
 
 Six plovers 1 
 
 Four brace of partridges 2 C 
 
 Four couple of rabbits 1 8 
 
 Tv»o guinea pigs 1 C 
 
 Four couple of bens 2 
 
 Two couple of mallards 1 
 
 Thirty - fou r eggi 1 
 
 Two bnshels of flour I 6 
 
 Sixteen loaves of white bread ..0 4 
 
 F.ighteen loaves of vvheaten bread 9 
 
 Three loaves of maslin ditto .... 3 
 
 One barrel double beer 2 6 
 
 One small ditto 1 
 
 One quarter ditto 2 2 
 
 Nutmegs, mace, cinnamon, and 
 
 greens 3 
 
 Four pound of barbaries and sugar 1 6 
 
 Fruit and almonds T 
 
 Sweet water and perfumes 4 
 
 Sixteen ora ages iJ 
 
 Two gallons of white wiae and 
 
 claret 2 
 
 One quart of sack S 
 
 One quart of malmsey 5 
 
 One quart of bustard 3 
 
 Oae quart of ninecadine 6 
 
 £ 1 IS 1 
 
 The Speech made iy Johnny Martyn, 
 of Aoru'ich, a wealthy, honest Man, 
 after Mr. Mayor s Dinner. 
 
 ** Maister mayor of Norwych, and 
 it please your worship, you have feast- 
 ed us like a king, God ble^s the queen^ 
 grace. We have fed plentit'ully ; and 
 now willura I can speak plain English, 
 I heartily thank you maister mayor, 
 and so we do all ; answer boys, ans- 
 wer. Your beer is pleasant and po- 
 tent, and will soon catch us by thi 
 caput, and stop our manners. And 
 BO huzza for the queen majesty's grace, 
 and all her bonny browed dames of 
 
 honour. Huzza lor mai'^ter mayor' 
 ^lui our good (lame may ress His 
 noble ^race, there he !«, G"d save 
 him, and all his jol y company! To 
 il our friends round the c<iuntry, 
 >h(> hiive a penny in thrir purse, and 
 an Eimlish ht-aitin thtir bodies, to 
 keep out tS;)rini-h dons and papists, 
 •Aith their faitjots t<» burn our whisk- 
 ers. Shove it about, twirl your cap 
 ca'-es, handle your jugs, and huzza 
 for maister mayor, and his brethren 
 ilieir worships." 
 
 V' 
 
 Enigmatical List of Cities, in Eng- 
 land. 
 
 A PACE that a horse often goes, f^ 
 and what they do with the dead. 
 
 A beast, a monosyllable, and a 
 consonant. 
 
 Half of a bird, and a town in Lan- 
 cashire. 
 
 What clothes are often kept in, 
 and two fifths of aml^^ake. 
 
 Wheie people draw waier from. 
 
 Half a town in bu>se.\, and a con- 
 
 •'onant. 
 
 A leceptaclefor the religious leav- 
 ing out a letter, and two thirds of a 
 oiain. 
 
 A letter, two-thiids of a number, ^ 
 and a Spanish title. 
 
 Tao-fifths of a colour, a vowel 
 and a moveable seal excluding a letter, 
 
 A letter, two thirds of a sacred 
 vessel, and a savoury dish. 
 
 Four-ninths of a mineral salt, and 
 a woman's Chrislian name. 
 
 A ganae, a letter, and what weall do. -. 
 
 Three-fifths of a wind, half a rapid 
 motion, and half a part of the face. 
 
 A triumphant vehicle, three-fourths 
 of a catalogue, and two ihiids of a 
 limb. 
 
 A beast, and the shallow part of a 
 
 iiver. 
 
 Three-fourths of a fi-h, three-fifihs 
 of a point, and a liquid letter. 
 
 A man's Christian name and a 
 corporation town. 
 3 Q
 
 482 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Memoirs of the Life of Alexander 
 Pope, Esq. 
 
 ALEXANDER POPE, the son of 
 Alexander Pope, of London, gent, 
 and E(iitha, daughter of William 
 Turner, of York, esq. both Papists, 
 was born on June 8, 1()8S. 
 
 When he was in his fourteenth year, 
 he translated the first book of Statius's 
 TI.ebiad, with so much accuracy and 
 beauty, that it raised the attention of 
 the greatest poets and critics of the 
 age ; which was much more increased 
 at the sight of the Pflstorals, about 
 l%vo years after. 
 
 After the world was convinced of 
 Mr. Pope's capacity by these masterly 
 pieces, he settled a correspondence 
 with many learned and poetical friends 
 that lived at a distance ; and some of 
 thg best poets of the age couited his 
 friendship. 
 
 His next attempt was a sacred poem 
 called the Messiah, of such a masterly 
 composition, that the best judges pre- 
 ferred it to the Polio of Virgil. This 
 was followed by a poem called Wind- 
 sor-Forest, addressed to ray Lord 
 Lansdown, and remarkable for a 
 beautiful metamorphosis of a nymph 
 into the river Loddon. But his Rape 
 of the Lock, whose passages are fabu- 
 lous, and its machines are raised on 
 the foui>dation of the Rosicrucian 
 noctrine of spirits, contains much 
 fancy and fine humour ; and in five 
 cantos, gewleely exposes the little un- 
 guarded lollies of the fair sex. This 
 is the most humourous of all our au- 
 thor's poems, written in the 24th year 
 ofiiisagc, and his only attempt this 
 way. 
 
 He afterwards published his Essay 
 on Criticism, which abounds with wit, 
 beautiful turns, variety of metajiiiors, 
 and just observations on poetry and 
 criticism. 
 
 His excellent Letter from Eloisa to 
 Abelard, in which he gives the lively 
 description of the struggks of grace 
 
 and nature, virtue and passion, gained 
 him the intire esteem and confidence 
 of the virtuous and enamoured of 
 boih sexes. 
 
 Yet though his works were now in 
 every body's hands, and engaged the 
 attention of all Europe, his profit aris- 
 ing from these works of fancy was 
 but inconsiderable : therefore that he 
 might both secure his fortune, and 
 establish his reputation more solidly, 
 by shewing his learning, as well as his 
 invention ; he, at the request of many 
 of the nobility, strikes at the hearts 
 of the brave atid learned, with a new 
 translation of Homer's Iliad. This 
 inimitable work had its desired effect; 
 it filled his pockets with money, and 
 confiimed his reputation. 
 
 The iuviduous could no longer 
 contain themselves. Mr. Addison and 
 others had for several years been un- 
 dermining Mr. Pope's character se- 
 cretly, but from henceforth nothing 
 could be expected but reprisals and 
 open war. However, Mr. Pope found 
 himself so well supported, that he had 
 nothing to fear now from the power- 
 ful, HO more than he had before from 
 the indigent critics. 
 
 The Iliad having given so much 
 satisfaction, Mr. Pope proceeded to 
 translate the Odyssey of Homer, with 
 equal success, and under the same 
 unhappy temperament of boisterous 
 scribblers. Until at last being scan- 
 dalously provoked by no less than 
 sixty-two different libels, books, pa- 
 pers, and satirical verses published 
 against him, he resolved not to an- 
 swer every single blockhead, but to 
 collect and without mercy tp lash the 
 whole body of dunces, and their 
 espouser, in one satire. This work, 
 when completed, he addressed to 
 Dean Swift, and called it the Dunciad; 
 which, with equal justice to his merit, 
 may be said to be a master-piece of its 
 kind. 
 
 The Essay on Man is another of 
 Mr. Pope's excellent comjiositions.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmasr^ Epigrams^ Poetry, §^c. 433 
 
 which was designed purposely to 
 delineate God, and trace out man, 
 and to make him both good and wise, 
 by exposing the deformity of vice. 
 
 After enjoying all the comforts of a 
 centeel retirement for many years at 
 Twickenham, in Middlesex, Mr. Pope 
 was visited '.villi a \veakn«'ss in his 
 eyes; and other bodily infirniities, in 
 the year 1743, which he foresaw to 
 be certain progr.ostics of his death : 
 so that he made his will on the 12th 
 of December in the s^ne year. 
 
 The affairs of his worldly estate 
 being thus settled, he retired quiet 
 ■within himself; and with a singular 
 serenity of mind, though his pains 
 increased fast upon him with great 
 acuteness, he chearfully followed that 
 great lesson of submission, which he 
 bad proposed to others in his works : 
 until nature being intirely exhausted, 
 though God blessed him with his sen- 
 ses to the last, he met death with an 
 undaunted courage, and resigned his 
 soul into the hands of his Redeemer, 
 on the 30th of May, 1744, at Twick- 
 enham, aforesaid. 
 
 Anecdote of Philip 11. of Spsiri, 
 when his Person happened la be 
 mistaken, 
 
 PHILIP the Second walking one 
 day alone in one of the cloisters of the ' 
 Escuria!, an honest tradesmaji, seeing 
 the door open, went in. Transported 
 with admiration of fine paintings with 
 which that house was adorned, he 
 addressed himself to the king, whom 
 he took for one of the servants of ihe 
 convent, and desired him to she«(*^ 
 liim the paintings, and explain the 
 subjects of them. Philip, with all the 
 humility and condescension of a lay- 
 brother, conducted him through the 
 apartments, and gave him all flie sa- 
 tisfaction he could desire. At parting, 
 the stranger took him by the baud, 
 and squeezing it alfectionatoly, said, 
 " I am iHucli obliged to you, frieud : 
 
 I live at St. Martin's, and my name is 
 Michael Bambis: if you should chance 
 to come my way, and call upon tne, 
 yon will find a glass of good wine at 
 your service." " And my name," said 
 the pretended servant, " is Philip the 
 Second, and if you will call upon me 
 at Madrid, I will give you a glass of 
 as good." 
 
 Weight in Notes. 
 
 A RICFI old citizen, lately deceas- 
 ed, left eac!) of his two daughters, as 
 their fortune, their weight in \l. bank 
 notes: and on being put into the scale 
 the eldest weighed J stone 2 lb. the 
 seccmd 8 stone. The eldest in conse- 
 quence, bfcame possessed of a fortune 
 amounting to 51,200/. and llie young- 
 est, being the heaviest, to 57,'34.4Z. ;' 
 and it was ascertained on the follow- • 
 ing scale: — 32 bank-notes of 1/. each, 
 we^^h an ounce avoidnpoise; 512 
 will therefore weigh a pound — 51,200 
 notes will wei^h 7 stone 2 lb. or lOo/: 
 and 57,344 notes weigh 112 lb. or S 
 stone. 
 
 A gentleman one day said he had 
 no doubt he could carry a million of 
 1/. bank-notes; but they will actually 
 weigh 1,953 pounds. 
 
 Singular Instance of Breviti/ in a 
 Lawyer. 
 
 " MY Lords and Gentlemtn of the 
 Jury, 
 
 "There are a set of men in the 
 world, of such a tedious, tiresome, 
 trilling, troublesome, habitude, tem- 
 per, and disposition of mind, that they 
 perplex, confound, entangle, and puz- 
 zle every circumstance in every cause 
 which they undertake, protect, defend 
 and jiulify. Instead of coming to 
 the point, niatler, business, or debate, 
 they deviate, vary, waver, and fly off 
 therefrom. When we expect trutli, 
 satisfaction, conviction, and decision, 
 we find, perceive, observe, asd rc'\ 
 3 Q 2
 
 484 Liternrif Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Fvenfs, 
 
 maik, nothing but uncertainiv, mw 
 biguitv, doublfu'iiess, and <litficulty 
 This, my i.ord, I humbly apprthend, 
 conceive, ihink, presume, and sur 
 Tnise, is i»wiiij» to tedi"usness and 
 prolixity ; llit* i:atuie, genius, and ex- 
 tent ofwhich, I shidl C('n^i(tf r, weigli. 
 examine, ep scale, iind acrutinize 
 
 " In llie fiist jilace, then, I shall 
 show, proxe, and demonstrate, the 
 natnre of ttdi<iustie>s and prolixit>, 
 by showing, |»iovn)g, and denionstrat- 
 ins; that there is notliin» so unnatural; 
 for tlie business of a tongue, utlerancf, 
 speech, or language, is to come to the 
 point, argument, con)emplali<>n, or 
 question, at once point-b.aak, sl:ip- 
 dasli, and conci e y, wil'tont an> pre- 
 varication, equ viiciilu n. leiarJatioM, 
 or cin umbendil'us wIj u-never 
 
 "And, n)y hud, in I lie seco.-id, snc- 
 ceetiiniT, lollcwinj.' place, poii t, and 
 prehniiuHrv, I come To proniu;j;rtie 
 the jiimins of tefiiousneg*, an<i pmlixi. 
 ty : w hicli Is done, eflected, })erl<.nned 
 and hrousht ab^ur, by manifestina 
 that they have no genius at all: and 
 so far from ans men of «enius makinj: 
 use of them, none but >our egregious, 
 absurd, ridicuh.us, dolts, dunderheads 
 and blccl.htads, ever admit, acknow- 
 ledue, receive, or embrace, any such 
 notions, ideas, maxims, principles, or 
 tenets. 
 
 " Thirdly, my Lord, I beg leave, 
 according to order, furni, series, and 
 iiictession, to animadvert upon thi 
 ext'^nt «tf lediousness and prolixity ; 
 and this is mai ag« d by demonstratinir 
 thai it 15 ii.timte, and ivithout bounds, 
 and consequently can have no extent 
 at all. 
 
 '* And now, my Lord, I will open 
 the cause, sprin-.', origin, fountain 
 rise, and fouudittion of these vices, 
 wni. ii IS litutoivgij ; and that is well 
 known tu be tlit- speriking, saying, de 
 livering, uttering, pr<uioiincing, di- 
 Tuiging, ,declarin<^, remarkuig, observ- 
 ing, repeating, or expressing, the sanie 
 identrcul iiMJividual tliuig, a hundred. 
 
 and a hundred, and a hundred, and a 
 hundred, and a hundred, and a hun- 
 dred, and a hundred, aiid a hundred 
 times over! 
 
 " And here, my Lord, I bejj leave, 
 pardon, peimissiun, and suft'erence, to 
 lay down onlv six and fifty particulars; 
 t veiy pxriirular shall consist of only 
 seviiity-two diviisions ; every division 
 shall comprehend, contain, and con- 
 sist of only eiglity-two sub-divisions; 
 * very sub-division shall be concluded 
 witli ihe six and fortieth article ; and 
 every article shall consume, expend, 
 :tn«l cost, no more than an hour and 
 11 half" 
 
 \Utc the court was out of all man- 
 ner of patience; and the judge, wiih 
 >!ieat indignation, put a period to a 
 liscourse, which, if the lawyer's ton- 
 'jue had been immortal, might have 
 tasted to all eternity ! 
 
 Of the public Spirit of a Cohler, in 
 regard to hia, Profession. 
 
 CHARLES V. in his intervals of 
 relaxation, used to retire to Brussels: 
 he was curious to know the sentiments 
 of his meanest subjects concerning 
 himself, and his administration; there- 
 fore often went out incog, and mixed 
 himself in such companies and conver- 
 sation as he thought proper. One 
 night his boot requiring innnediate 
 mending, he was diri-cted to a cobler; 
 unluckily it happened to be St. Cris- 
 pin's holiday ; and instead of finding 
 the cobler inclined for work, he was 
 in the height of his jollity among his 
 ucquiiintance : the « ntperor acquaint- 
 ed him with what he wanted, and 
 oft'ered a handsome gratuity. " What, 
 friend," says the fellow, " do you 
 kiiow no better than to ask any of our 
 craft to work on St. Crispin? Was it 
 Charles the Vth. himself, I'd not do 
 a stitch for him now: but if you'll 
 come in, and drink St. Crispin, do 
 and welcome ; we are as nierry as 
 the emperor cau be." Tlie sovereigu
 
 Interestinif Narrntirps^ T^nfrfmas. Ephp'amft, Poetrj;, %'c. 4S5 
 
 accepted his offer ;- l>.^t while lie M'-»s 
 confeinph'.tiii'j on tlieir nide plra^ure, 
 instead of Joining in il, the jovwl host 
 thns accosts iiini: ' VVh I, I snjp'^'^e 
 you are Honw ('oni'tifr PHt'uii'V, "t 
 other, by ih, t c<>iit injilal've \\vz, 
 nav, by )onr Imig vosf, ynu nia> be 
 a bastaid of the empeior's : bu' be 
 ivho, or what yon will, \ou'ie hfrir!i!\ 
 welcome: drink abont ; lieie's Chat It;. 
 the riCih's health." •*Th<n \<\u love 
 Cliarles the Fif4h," repliel le em- 
 peror. " Love him !" «.a\s tiie son of 
 Crispin; "ase, aye, ! Iuve his /< w^- 
 yioseship well en<*ns;'i ; bnt I shoui<l 
 bim much more, wou'd he but tax u.v 
 a little /ms : but, what the devii li.iv< 
 we to do with politics? Roui.d \vi:h 
 the glass, and merry be our he<trls " 
 After a short stay, the emperor took 
 his leave, and thanked the cobler f'-r 
 his hospitable reception. " That," 
 cried he, " you're welcome to ; but 
 I wou'd not to-day have dishonour'd 
 St Crispin to have work'd for the 
 emperor. 
 
 Charles, pleased with the honest 
 good nature and humour of the fellow, 
 sent for him next morning to court. 
 You must imagine his surprize, to see 
 and hear that bis late guest was his 
 sovereign! He feared his joke on Iajs 
 long nose m\is{ be punished with de-iili 
 The emperer thanked foi hiiu hrs 
 hospitality, and, as a reward f.», it, bi.t 
 hiia ask for what he most detit^^d, ati > 
 take the whole night to settle Ins svr 
 prize and his ambition. — Next *'iiy lie 
 appeared, and requested, tiiat f(»r tiiC 
 future, the cobler s of Flundtvs .;ii,!-!t 
 bear for their arms a boot w;Jh ttie 
 crown upon it. That reques-i wa^ 
 granted ; and, as so moderate \v«s his 
 ambition, the emperor bid him inai<e 
 another. " If," says he, " I an. «o 
 have my utmost «is!)es, command 
 that for the future, tl^e company of 
 coblers shall take place t)f the conipa- 
 ny of shoe-makers." —\{ was accord- 
 ingly so ordained, and to this day 
 iliere is to be seen a chapel iii Flanders 
 
 .id'^ru-'d ruuiid with a boot and lin- 
 I'nhd crown on it ; and, in all pro- 
 cessioas, the coinpaiiv of coblers iake 
 place before tiie company of shoe- 
 makers. 
 
 No \Vi>mn!i m!hou( her Value. ^ 
 
 EVERY nati'»n in tlie least ac- 
 (juaiiittd \\'\[U civilization halh nni-» 
 (ornerly bei.eu) the tVnmle stx with 
 espptt ; A rtsptct uhirii, by inspiring 
 iiitiividiials With a great esJeeiii ior 
 ihemseives, Irath ol'ien excited them 
 \o the practice of tiiesuhliiiiesl virtues, 
 ?:ta late puolicalion ofa Geiman fa- 
 bn!i-t is the following JtM d'esprit of 
 the live!;, author, who, in ordt-r to 
 prove that tiicie is no woman wholiy 
 useless Mi this world, and perhaps to 
 e\pose tile sordid princijjles of those 
 wi-o niake a traffic of wed ii.rk, and 
 b;j'-ter every geuiTous senjimeui for 
 g.;)?i, thus expresses himself: 
 
 A poor peasant, of seven children 
 born to hii:i in marriage, hud but one 
 dau^lj'er 1^ .'t, and she was (f a form 
 so truly l'>ide<M!S, that it might be said 
 a> Shakespear expresses it, "The cwrs 
 balked at her as she hailed along." 
 Tticie are other aliuremeut.s to enter 
 into tiip wedded state, hoxvever, than 
 tliose <»f (igiire. A shewmau, in his way 
 ihrougit tile viii.ige in which she lived 
 s .w her, and asl.vd her marriage. — 
 *' ^ir," said tlie honest ru^!ic to the 
 suitor f'i his daUi;hter, unwilling to 
 take anadVf ntage of any man, " have 
 v<<u observed the unseemly fnrm of 
 niv Ui.ughi< r J Aie \ou aw.ire ih/.t 
 J !u;v<* nothing to give with her?" 
 " These," ji|)lied the < ther, "are ob- 
 j'ctsof no weight with ihc." "But 
 .sn- isb'Vh humh-batked and liunch- 
 hieasted." '• O ! that is precisely 
 wliat I want."" " Ker skin is like 
 shagreen." " I am icjoiced at it." 
 " You cJMU'.ot perceive that she has a 
 nose." *' Gt'od." " She isvhardly 
 three feet high. " "Better still." "Her 
 legs -are like diunt-slicks, tmd her uaiU
 
 iSQ IJterarff dfriosiiles. Epitaphs, IVonderful. Events, 
 
 like claws." " Best of all." " To cut 
 the niallor short, believe me, sJie is 
 :>lnu)sl duJiib, -.md altasetiier deaf." 
 " 5s it |iossible I" exchiiiiieti the iover, 
 "You liansport me! Lon;; have I 
 searched for a wife nearly loimcd 
 like jour daui^htcr; but afraid to tint- 
 ler myself witii the hopes of finding 
 sncii a one, I am now !ia)5py beyofu! 
 riiy hopes. She fiilly coi responds Viith 
 my ideas of perfection. How rare il 
 lis in these davs to nitfttwith so acconj 
 plished a figure 1" "Bui, my good 
 friend," inlerrupted the father, " I 
 cannot conceive whiit you propose to 
 do with a wife who is so ui^ly and so 
 deformed, who is alway* sickly, and 
 hath not a penny." " Do wilii her ! 
 Vi\\y, I travel the country, and get my 
 bread by exhibiting monsters. 1 will 
 put her in a bos: I will carry her 
 ^hout with me ; aiid,'as for lier for- 
 tune, let me alone for the acquisition 
 of that." 
 
 The Fdihner mid the Wheat Ear. 
 
 A FARMER view'd— '(was in July- - 
 
 His lields with this soliloquy : 
 
 •' My corn's full ri{)e, aud shM godown 
 
 " To-morrow ;(here he scralcb'd his crown) 
 
 " Lo scarce an ear cnn upright sland ; 
 
 " All bnw'd to meet the reaper's hand." 
 
 One wlieat-ear, taller than the rest, 
 
 Ueaid, afid tire farmer thus addrest . 
 
 (T^al first it stood as ntar u|)right 
 
 As possible— it could not quite) 
 
 " 1 meet (he reaper's hand ! not I! 
 
 *• Like man's, my forehead meets the sky : 
 
 " So, good now, send no reaper here, 
 
 " But let me stand quite round llie year." 
 
 " You shall," the farmer cry d, and (here 
 
 He'sels bis mark, ihp reapers spare. 
 
 It stood — it saw its brothers fall 
 
 Before tiie sickle, oue and ail ; 
 
 It stood ; but not as prc-conceiv'd, 
 
 Wilbjoy, of all its friends bercav'd: 
 
 It stood alone; and loiirly state 
 
 Slust needs a thousand fears create; 
 
 And tnoie than fears; it felt, some days, 
 
 The sun's intolerable blaze : 
 
 From stiilU and graiu the mo'sfurs fled^ 
 
 And lani[;ni>bing it hun/?- the head ; 
 
 Unprop'i! by others of its kind, 
 
 Some day^ it snffer'd by llje wind : 
 
 J^t^sides, it siift'er'd t»ven(y ways. 
 
 And sufftr'ii moretbau twenty dujjs. 
 
 One day, as by the farmer went, 
 Thus warmly begg'd the penitent : 
 " At my request (I own ''.was wrous) 
 " You spar'diue; bst I've stood too lon^ : 
 *' I've borne, 'till I can'.)ear no more; 
 " Convey nie to your thre.sii ng floor." 
 The far.TQfr v'ew'd, pick'd out a corn, 
 Aud thus repiy'd »viih tauniiug scorn : 
 " To threshin^-fioor convey t'jet ! No! 
 " Thou'rt rjeitber tit lo sell nor sow : 
 " The year's not cut by many a day." 
 With that he whistling went bis way. 
 That night the whtat-fjir, fall'.! to ground, 
 A hungry crow next morning fjuiui ; 
 .At his lean breakfast much ^^pin'd : 
 T'liecsiaff wasscaiter'd by the wind. 
 
 Such this ear's fate; could worse betide ? 
 From their's the sickle reap'd, how wide! 
 Of these enow lo cross the lields ; 
 One sixty grains, one seventy yields: 
 And every grain, the following year, 
 Produc'd as much as parent ear. 
 
 Character of King Charles I, 
 
 KING Charles had three favourites: 
 Buckingham stabbed to death ; Wil- 
 liam Laud, and Thomas earl of Straf- 
 ford, both beheaded. Biihops, and 
 j clergymen, whom he mostly favoured 
 and wholly advanced, and occasion- 
 ally ruined, he lived to see their 
 bishopricks sold, the bishops them- 
 selves scorned, and all the whole 
 clergy of his party and opinion quite 
 undone. 
 
 The English noblemen he cared not 
 much for, but only to serve his own 
 (urns by them : yet such as had the 
 unhappiness to venture their lives and 
 fortune for him, he lived to see theni 
 luid their families ruined, only for 
 his sake. Pity it is many of them had 
 not served a more fortunate master, 
 and one more grateful, 
 
 The Scots, hiscountrynien, on whom 
 he bestowed so mar.y favours, he lived 
 to see ihem in arms against himself: 
 to sell him for more money than the 
 Jews did Cinist, and themselves to be 
 handsomely routed, and sold for 
 knaves and slaves. They made theii' 
 best maiket of him at all times, chang- 
 ing their iiftt'ction witii his forlime. 
 
 The oKl prince of Orange he alaio&t
 
 Inierestinf/ Narrative^, Enignyjs^ Epigrams^ Poetrfj^ S^c. 487 
 
 beggared, and yet to no purpose, tlu 
 parliament one time or other gettii)L 
 all arms and amunition uliicli ev^ r 
 came over unto him. It is con'-idenl- 
 \y averred, if the king had beconn 
 absolute here in England, Oraage hati 
 been king. 
 
 The city of London, v\ Iiich he had 
 so sore oppressed and slighted, h( 
 lived to see thonsands of them in arm^ 
 against him ; and tiiey to thrive, iinri 
 himself to consume unto nothing. The 
 parliament, which he so abhorred, 
 and formerly scorned, he lived to 
 know was superior unto him ; and the 
 scorns and slights he had used for- 
 merly to Elliot, aiitJ others he saw now 
 returned upon himself in folio. 
 
 With "Spain he had no perfect cor- 
 respondency, since bis being there ; 
 less after he suffered their fleet to pe- 
 rish in his havens ; least of all, after 
 he received an ambassador from Por- 
 tugal; the Spaniard ever upbraiding 
 him with falsehood, and breach of 
 promise. Indeed, the nativities of both 
 kings were very contrary. 
 
 With France he had no good amity, 
 the protc.stant* there abhorring his le- 
 gerdemain and treachery unto Ptochel- 
 le; the Papists as little loving or 
 trusting him, for some hard nseasure 
 offered unto those of their religion in 
 England. He cunningly would la- 
 bour to please all, but in effect gave 
 satisfaction to none. 
 
 Denmark could uot endure him ; 
 sent him little or no assiitance, if any 
 at all : besides, the old king suspected 
 another matter, and made a <]uery in 
 his drink. 
 
 The Swede extremely complained 
 fif Ijini for non-peiforn?3uc<i of some 
 secrel cmitracl bttwist thesi, and ut- 
 ttred high words against them. 
 
 The Protestant princes of Germ<yiy 
 loathed his very nanje. 
 
 The Portugal king and he had lit- 
 tle to do; -yet in one of his own let- 
 ters to the queen, lliough hetfcknoM- 
 led^jes the PortuizalN courif>v unio 
 
 ijiin, yet Siiith, that he would give 
 iiini an answer unto a thing of con- 
 cermnent that should signify nothing. 
 The Hollanders being only courte- 
 ous for their own ends, an<J as far as 
 his money would extend, furnis!ie<I 
 i)ini with arms at sijrh rates as a Turk 
 might have had them elsewhere: but 
 they neither loved nor cared for him 
 in his prosperity, or pitied him in his 
 adversWy ; which occasioned thesa 
 words to drop frotn him, " If he erts 
 cauje to his throne, he would make 
 Haus Butter box know, he should pay 
 well for histishing, and satisfy for old 
 knaveries." 
 
 In conclusion. He was generally 
 unfortuuale in the world, in the esteem 
 both of friends and enemies: his 
 friends exclaim of his breach of faith; 
 liis enemies would say, he could rievi-r 
 be fdst enough bound. lis was more 
 lamented as he was a kin;.', than for 
 any affection had unto his person as 
 a ninB. 
 
 He had several opporfunifies offer- 
 ed him for his restoring. First, by 
 several treaties, all ending in sraoke» 
 by his own perverscness. By several 
 opportunities and victories which l>e 
 prosecuted not. First, when Bristol 
 was cowardly surrounded by Fiennes: 
 had he then iiave come unto London, 
 aij had been his own; but loitering 
 to no purpose at Gloucester, he was 
 pnsenlly after well banged by Essex. 
 Wlien in the west, viz. Cornwaii. 
 he worsted Esses : had he t!;en im- 
 mediately hasted to London, his army 
 [ had been, without d(;\ibt, masters of 
 I that city; ibr Manchester was tioiic 
 of his enemy at that time, though he 
 WHS gei-.cral of the assoiiiated comitit':*. 
 Or had h;-, ere the Sc >fs ca!i>e i:!t.-> 
 England, comniandtd Nevvca>t!e to 
 have marched southv". atd for L'ndon, 
 he could n il have missed oblaiijiisg 
 the city, and then the work had been 
 nxled. 
 
 Or when, in l6"}'). iie !i;^d .fs?ien 
 Leicester, if II.tij he l.ad sj'ceu^ly
 
 488 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 inarched for London, I know not vvli*' 
 could iiave resi>tetl him: but his can)i> 
 was so overcharged with plundpr and 
 lii&li girls, there was no marching. 
 
 Boiled Ducks. 
 
 TABBY, an antiquated maid, 
 
 Of hip and vapour sore afraid ; 
 
 For Tabby had read Rnchan through ; 
 
 Theobald, and old John We* ley too ; 
 
 And now and (hen had dipp'd so (ar. 
 
 In conghs, consumptions and fatarrb> 
 
 That, as she read, she did surmise 
 
 Each eymptoin in herself arise 
 
 Exactly similar to (hose 
 
 Which l)riiis variety of woes. 
 
 And " send frail mortals to that bourn, 
 
 " From wlience no travellers return." 
 
 As oft these whims attack'd her head, 
 As often Tabby kept her bed, 
 And *ent express for some physician. 
 To come and help her sad condition. 
 Gnce Saum'rez, jiride of ev'ry college, 
 Of equal probity and knowledge; 
 With Galen-look had gravely ey'd 
 Poor Tabby's tonsfue; her pulse had Iry'd, 
 And found it* beats— one minute couu(ed, 
 Exact (o ni.iety-six amounted — . 
 <* Madam,'' quoth he, "I'll give you ease, 
 •' Once more your tongue, pray, if yon 
 
 " please : 
 " Your bile ducts — it is very plain — 
 " Are lock'd up close, and cause you pain ; 
 " But patience, madam, 1 am sure, 
 «' A day or two will work your cure." 
 
 " My boil'd ducks, doctor ! sure the slut, 
 " My cook, can't keep the pantry shut ! , 
 " My boil'd ducks locked, it cannot be! 
 •* Run, Betty, run, and get the key ; 
 " Make haste, dear Betty, qu?ck — dispatch, 
 " Instc-mt unlock the pantry hatch." 
 
 Matrimonial Advertisement. 
 
 CONFINED in a certain street, 
 the nurth-end of the city, up three 
 pair of stairs backwards, by the cruelly 
 of a most uiitiatural mother, and the 
 indolence of a father, who doth not 
 want for scnst , but spirit to wear the 
 breeclies, a yoimsj izirl turned of one- 
 ;jnd twenty, uit very tall, but thouijht 
 to be too n)uch 50 by her mother who 
 still keeps her in (lat-neehd shoes. 
 The yonnti; lady caiini t b(jast of as 
 much beauty as her mamma, but she 
 bas the advantage of her iu an easy 
 
 temper, and would be quitt if she 
 w' ufi let her She would be miiflj 
 obliged to any gentleman who ronld 
 take pity Oi« her sufferings, and re- 
 lieve her by marriage, from the dis- 
 tress! s, bojte, and bars, she labours 
 under. 
 
 N. B. She is quite easy as to for- 
 tune, and will be well contented with 
 a partner of lOOOli per annum, as 
 with a larger sum. 
 
 Tke Miser. 
 
 THE late Richard Russel, esq. had 
 a renter's share at the Theatre-royal, 
 Diury-lane, where he used to go al- 
 most every evening; and notwith- 
 standing his immense ferlune, his 
 penury was so great, that rather than 
 give a trifle to any of the women who 
 attended in the lobby box to take 
 care of his great coat on an evening, 
 he used constantly to pledge it for a 
 shilling, at a pawnbroker's near the 
 theatre, and redeem it w hen the per- 
 formance was over, which cost him 
 one halfpenny interest. 
 
 From an American Paper of the 
 Date of December 1 (Sth, 1 7y3, W€ 
 extract the following Paragraph. 
 
 LOST where it was dropped, last 
 night, an empty bag with a cheese in 
 it. Tlie bag was marked T. D. but 
 the letters were worn out.- N. B. 
 The person who lost it, never missed 
 it until it was gone ; so if any person 
 will briag it to him, he shall be re- 
 warded for his trouble. 
 
 Sporting Intelligence from tJ(,e Sen 
 Side. 
 
 A PARTNER in a banking-house, 
 who lives near enough to the abode 
 of a facetious alderman to nose bis 
 worship's kitchen, whenever turtle is 
 the order of the day, was very lately 
 at a small watering-place on the coast
 
 Ltferesti'nf/ Narrativps, Enujmas^ Fpigramst, Poetni, S^c. 489 
 
 of Essex. Btins; in the couiitrv, ht' 
 dfttTiiiiiit'd to partake of" ils spirts : 
 and, for the fjist lime in his life, to 
 have a day's sisoi'tinij. — " When we 
 are at Rome," said the cit, " we niusl 
 do as the}' does at Rome." A \u!<;ar 
 sportsman, such as a coimtiy 'squire, 
 or a rustic uobleiuan, sets offoii foot, 
 or at best on a shooting poney, in 
 pursuit o. his ganie. A city Cra^sus 
 disdains oUch simphcity. Accordingly 
 our banker, with a nietchant for liis 
 companion, got into iiis phieton, took 
 the pointers he had borrowed in the 
 carriage, and ordeied Iiis servanly in 
 livery to follow him. The dogs, who 
 had never been used to such a fashion- 
 able style of travelling, soon began to 
 show symptoms of uneasiness, and 
 even of an inclination to desert. They 
 were detained, however, in part bv 
 caresses, and partly by force, lyitil 
 they had nearly reached the scene of 
 action ; when, by a violent and una- 
 nimous effort, they all jumped out, 
 and ran home, except one, who was 
 persuaded to follow by the servants 
 behind. But even he might as well 
 have gone with the rest ; for hardlj 
 had they hunted three fields over, 
 when the obstinate brute stopped all 
 of a sudden, to the great surprise and 
 chagrin of the city sportsmen. They 
 hailood him on; they whistled to liim; 
 but nothing could make him move. 
 It was provoking they said, they never 
 saw a dog so, restive in their lives. 
 So, taking a whip from a domestic, 
 they belaboured the refractory Carlo, 
 who darted ir.to the covey, and away 
 went the birds. Before the banker 
 could recover from the alarm occa- 
 sioned by the flapping of their wings, 
 take up his gun and cock it, the jrar- 
 tridges were out of sight. 'I'hese were 
 all he saw that day ; nor could he 
 sufficiently regret the bad behaviour 
 of the dog.— "If he had not stopped," 
 said the banker, " 1 should have tired 
 into the thick of the brood, and killed 
 one half of them." His companion 
 
 I mule no doubt but lie should have 
 I killed the re-st. On his returning to 
 ' his carriai^e, the man of money deter- 
 mined to trv his skill at some spar- 
 ! rows on a dunghill He shut his eyes, 
 ; and before he could open them again 
 to count the dead sparrows, a pig, 
 which was lying under the straw, and 
 which he had shot in the head, cauie 
 running out, and laid itself at his feet; 
 squeaking most horribly in the agonies 
 of death. And out came the farmer's 
 men with tlaiis and pitchforks ; and 
 out came the farmer's dog, and seized 
 him by the coat ; and out came 
 the farmer iiimsclf, and seized him 
 by the collar. Perceiving himself 
 thus beset, the banker offered an 
 honourable compensation : but when 
 he found that no less a sum than 
 three guineas was demanded, he de- 
 murred, and said, that a pisi of equal 
 size mi'iht be bought for less nioiiey 
 in London, His companion, however, 
 (jbserving that pigs were more plenti- 
 ful in Le<idenhall-n)arket than in the 
 country, the money was produced ; 
 and the farmer, anil the farmer's men, 
 and t!ie farmer's dog, retired to their 
 r'jspective kennels. It is the quality 
 of a great mind not to be easdy dis- 
 couraged. The banker therefore re- 
 loaded his piece ; and ere he had pro- 
 ceeded far, hearing a rustling in a 
 iied^e, he let fly at a venture. The 
 report of the gun was immediately fol- 
 lowed by cries of — " Good lack ! I 
 am shot ! as Got shall have me, I'm 
 shot!" It was a Jew, v\ho had been 
 tnaku)g a sacrifice, which was not that 
 of the Paschal lamb, and who at the 
 close of it, while employed in pluck- 
 ing up grass, and sluubs of broader 
 leaf and more conimodious," received 
 a larije portion of the charge in that 
 part where according to Butier, 
 
 '' A kick linrts honour more. 
 
 Than deepest wousids received l)erore." 
 
 As the banker had never seen a 
 magpie in the city that did not speak, 
 he supposed that the whole species 
 
 fi 3 H
 
 490 Literary Curiosities^ Ejntaiihs^ IVonderful Events^ 
 
 was naturally loquacious, t^nd made 
 no doul»t but he had killed one of 
 those talkative birds. " I have shot 
 a ma",pie," said he to his companion, 
 and off he ran to pick up his game ; 
 when, in the passage to the hedge, 
 lie was met face to face by the furious 
 Israelite. Seeing him in the nakedness 
 of a sans-cnlotte, and bleeding from 
 flank to flunk, the banker started back 
 hi speechless horror. The circum- 
 cised dog pursued and took him by 
 the throat, sweaiing by the God of 
 Moses, that he would have blood for 
 blood. The dreadful threat he -en- 
 forced by the most sanguinary argu- 
 ments a posteriori, and probably 
 would have realized it, if the banker's 
 friends had not offered him egregious 
 ransom. At the first mention of money, 
 the bleeding member of the half- 
 tribe of Manasseh, relaxed his gripe, 
 examined the paper that was tendered 
 to him by the banker, and retired 
 well saiisfied, when lie found that it 
 
 was a ciieck upon Messrs. ■ 
 
 and 
 
 Elevation of a Tailor. 
 
 A NOBLEMAN, .listinguished by 
 his great abilities, extraordinary par- 
 simony, and large possessions, was 
 guardian to an ideot, whose fortune 
 was very gieat, and which was to 
 have devolved to himself, in case his 
 ward should never obtain a proper 
 Use of reason. This iiieot had a son, 
 who, it is said, was placed in such a 
 stateof obscurity as might render him 
 wholly rgiioraut of his origin, and 
 of course, deprive him of all chance 
 of succeeding lo his father's estate. At 
 the death of the idcot, the nobleman 
 alluded lo, came into the whole of 
 possessions, which are supposed to be 
 a!)out thiity-Jhousand a year landed 
 estate, and which descended to his 
 •heir without any intermplion on the 
 part cl the poor orphan, whose con- 
 "ilitiuii was jntirely unknown. An 
 
 attorney happened to be shooting 
 upon a manor belonging to this noble- 
 man's heir, who bid him desist, and 
 treated him with marks of incivility. 
 The man of law was fired by this 
 behaviour, and in return, told the 
 lord of the ground that he had better 
 not provoke him, lest he should pre- 
 vent him from having any manor to 
 tyrannize over. The owner did not 
 abate of his dignity, or folten in his 
 manners, and the attorney in revenge 
 set inquiry on foot, and is said to have 
 found the rightful heir in the jour- 
 neyman tailor, whose claim was so 
 evident, that the possessor himself 
 would not litigate it. The re- 
 mainder of this narrative, if true, is 
 singular indeed, as the fortunate tailor 
 is said to have worked at his employ- 
 ment a week after he kn»w of the 
 prosperous event in his favour, and 
 on the Saturday night, went with the 
 rest of his fellows for his wages, which 
 his master paid him, and, at the 
 same time, begged for the honour of 
 his custom, and hoped to have the 
 making the new liveries for his re- 
 tinue. 
 
 Second Thoughts are hest. 
 
 IT is said, that when Mr. Thelwall 
 was on his trial at the Old Bailey for 
 high treason, during the evidence for 
 the prosecution, he wrote the follow- 
 ing note and sent to his counsel : — ■ 
 " Mr. Erskine, I am determined to 
 plead my cause myself." Mr. Erskine 
 wrote under it, " If you do, you'll be 
 hanged ;" to which Mr. Thelwall im- 
 mediately retarned this reply, " I'll 
 be hanged then if I do." 
 
 Anecdote concerning the Execution of 
 King Charles. 
 
 RICHARD Brandon, common ex- 
 ecutioner or hangman, at that time, 
 died upon Wednesday, June 20, 1 ti49, 
 within five roonlhs after the king's
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enif/mas, Epigrams^ Poetri/, S^c. 491 
 
 martyrdom. The Sunday before Bran- 
 don died, a young man of his ac- 
 quaintance, going to visit him, asked 
 him how he <lid, and \vhether he was 
 not troubled in conscience forcuttine 
 off the king's head ? Brandon replied. 
 ** Yes, because he was at the king's 
 trial, and heard the sentence de 
 nounced against him, which caused 
 the said Brandon to make this solemn 
 vow or protestation, viz. " Wishing 
 God to perish his body and soul, if 
 ever he appeared on the scaffold to do 
 the act, or lift up his hand against 
 him." And he further declared, that 
 he was no sooner entered upon the 
 scartold, (to do the wicked act) but 
 immediately he fell a trembling, and 
 hath (ever since) to his death con- 
 tinued in the like agony. He likewise 
 confessed that he haul 301. for his 
 pains, all paid him in half crowns, 
 within an hour after the blow was 
 struck: and that he had an orange 
 stuck full of cloves, and an handker- 
 chief out of the king's pocket. As 
 soon as he was carried off from the 
 scaffold, he was proffered SOs.for that 
 orange by, a gentleman in Whitehall, 
 but refused the same ; but afterwards 
 sold it for 10s. in Rosemary-lane. — 
 About six o'clock that night, be re- 
 turned home to his wife, living in 
 Rosemary-lai e, and gave her money, 
 saying, it was the dearest money he 
 ever earned in his life; which pro- 
 phetical words were soon made mani 
 fest. About three days before he 
 died, (as above-mentioned) he lay 
 speechless, uttering many a sigh and 
 heavy groan, and in a moit deplora- 
 ble manner departed from his bed of 
 sorrow. For his burial, great store 
 of wine was sent in by the sheriff of 
 the city of London, and a great mul- 
 titude of people stood waiting to see 
 his corpse carried to the church-yard, 
 some crying out, " Hang him, rogue, 
 bury him in a dung-hill;" others pres- 
 sing upon him, saying, they would 
 quarter him for executing the king; 
 
 insomuch, that the churchwardens 
 and masters of ihe parish were Iain to 
 come for the suppressing of them ; 
 and with groat difficulty he was at 
 last carried to Whitechapel church- 
 yard, having a bunch of rosemary at 
 each end of the cofliii, and on the 
 lop thereof, with a rope lied across 
 from one end to the other. 
 
 The man that waited upnn this 
 executioner, when he gave the fatal 
 blow, was a rag-man in llosemary- 
 lane. 
 
 A Privilege ivaved. 
 
 A PARSON who had a scolding 
 wife, one day brought home a brolher 
 clergyman to dinner. Having gone 
 into a separate apartment to talk to 
 his rib about the repast, she attacked 
 and abused him for bringing a parcel 
 of idle fellows to eat up their income. 
 The parson provoked at her behavi- 
 our, said in a pretty loud tone, " If 
 it were net for the stranger, I would 
 give you a good drubbinc" — "Ob!" 
 cried the visitor, " / beg you will 
 make no stranger of me." 
 
 A curious Grub-Sireet, or Parnassian 
 Advertisement. 
 
 TO all gentlemen booksellers, and 
 others. At the house with stone steps 
 and sash windows, in Grape-street, 
 vulgarly called Grub-sircet, liveih an 
 auliii)r, who writeth all manner of 
 books and pamphlets, in verse and 
 prose, at reasonable rales; and fur- 
 iiishelh, at a minute's warning, any 
 customer, with elegies and congratu- 
 latory verses, adapted ti» all manner 
 of persons or professions, ready writ- 
 ten, with blanks to insert the names 
 of the parties intended for. He sup- 
 plies gentlemen bell-men and lamp- 
 lighters with verses on all occasions, 
 at r2d. the dozen, and tcacheth them 
 accent and pronunciation gratis. 
 
 He taketh any side of a question, 
 3R 2
 
 492 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 and wiiteth for or against, or Lolh. 
 if required. 
 
 He likewise draws up advertise- 
 ments, and aspertfclh "or lampoons, 
 after the newest manner. 
 
 Ho wiiieth for those who cann. • 
 write themselves, yet are ambitioU!^ 
 of becr.mini'^ autliors; and will, ii 
 requited, enter into a bond, never to 
 own the performance. 
 
 He liausmog!ifieth, alais trans- 
 niigraphelh, any copy, and maketh 
 many titles 'to one work, if required. 
 
 N. B. He is comp down from the 
 garret to the first-flooi, tor the con- 
 venience o( his customers. 
 
 SS' Pray ini.^take noi tiie hou'e, 
 for there are many iniposters tiiere- 
 abouts, 
 
 *** No trust by retail. 
 
 A remarkable Instance of the errone- 
 ous JSotions we form of Things 
 u'hich we have not been acquainted 
 with. 
 
 WHEN the (wo African princes 
 were in Eni.'Iand,Lord Hallifax, under 
 whose care they were, introduced 
 them to most of the nohi!ity. One 
 day, wJienthey were going to dine at 
 Lady Beauclerk's, it snowed very 
 hard. Being the fiist time they had 
 seen snow, they were very n<uch sur- 
 prised at so remarkable a thinfr, as it 
 appeared to them ; they therefore 
 gathered some, and put'it into their 
 pockets, in order to carry home to 
 Africa. When they came to her lady- 
 ship's, and approached the fire, the 
 snow thawed, and the water began to 
 run about the floor ; her ladyship 
 saw it, but knew not the cause, and 
 theretorc sat silent until they told 
 their story of having put some snow 
 into their pockets, in order to shev' 
 when they got home. Her lady-hip 
 then pointed to the wet thr-t lellfroin 
 their cloihes ; and the princes were 
 made acquainted with their error, in 
 supposing ihey could carry it to their 
 torrid clinic. 
 
 Anecdote 
 
 AS I lie late Dean Swift was once 
 upon a journey, atttnde<J by a s( rvant 
 they put up at an inn, where they 
 lodged all night; in the morning the 
 Dean calling for hi> boots, the ser- 
 vant immediately took them to him ; 
 when the Dean saw them, '♦ How is 
 tlii?,' Tom," says he, " my boots are 
 not cleaned T " No, Sir," replied 
 Tom, " as you are going to ride, I 
 thonglit they would soon be dirty 
 again," " Very well," said the Dean, 
 "I'O and get the horses rt ;uly " In the 
 mean time the Dean ordered I he land- 
 lord to let liis man have no breakfast. 
 When (he servant returned, the Dean 
 asked if the horses were ready? "Yes, 
 Sir," says the servant. "Go bring 
 them," said the Dean, " I have not 
 had my breakfast yet. Sir," says Tom. 
 " Oh, no matter for that," says the 
 Dean, " if you had it you would soon 
 be hungry again," They mounted 
 and nxle oflT; as they rode, the Dean 
 pulled a book out of his pocket, and 
 fell to reading, A gentleman met 
 them, and seeing the Doctor reading, 
 was not willing to disturb him, but 
 passed by until he met the servant. 
 " Who is that gentleman," says he 
 to the servant ? " It is my master, 
 sir," said Tom. " I know that, you 
 blockhead," said the gentleman, "but 
 where are you going?" "We are 
 going to heaven, sir," says Tom. 
 " How do you know that ?" said the 
 gentleman. " Because I am fasting, 
 and my master is praying, sir, so I 
 think we are in the right road to that 
 place." 
 
 CtEsar and Flora. A Parody. 
 
 A BULL-DOG so fierce, and a spaniel se 
 meek^ 
 Convers'd as lliey lay on the mow ; 
 They stared — anrf they bark'd — and Ihey 
 
 utter'd a squeak ! 
 I'or the name of (he dog we will Caesar be- 
 speak, 
 And (he bitch was the fair liltle Flo.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmaa^ Epigrams, Poetry, Sft\ 493 
 
 " And, O, then," said Caesar, " a bu.l- 
 " baiUn^, dear, 
 " To-inoi-pow takfs pisce at (he f.iir ; 
 " I {hither aui seat ; wliile 1 very mucli 
 
 " f'-ear, 
 " SoaiP doij, fo your eyes that more pipas- 
 '' ing appear, 
 " Your all'ectioas from me vrilleusnare." 
 
 " Nay, check these suspicions," said Flora, 
 distress'd, 
 " Xor injure your true-love so fair; 
 " For no otrier doij, you assured may rest, 
 '' But Cffsar alone, with my heart shall be 
 " blest— 
 " For Caesar alone rnleth there. 
 
 " If e'er on my charms noisy Pincher or 
 " Jack 
 " Repose, while they call me their wife, 
 " I wish, (here she sent forth a false oath 
 
 alack I) 
 " That youi- ghost mig^ht appear wiiJiout 
 
 *• tail to its back, 
 " Ascend from below with a terrible crack, 
 " And frighten me out of my life'" 
 
 To T g— n hasten'd this bull-dog so 
 
 fierce. 
 Little Flora gave vent fo her woe; 
 Scarce three days elapsed (how I grieve to 
 
 rehearse) 
 When a greyhound, bespangled with spots, 
 what a curse ! 
 Arrived at the kennel of Flo. 
 
 His collar, his person, his Batterirrg vows.. 
 
 Soon made her untrue to htr sw;.in — 
 He won her attachment by grares and bows; 
 At length she consented to call him her 
 spouse — 
 
 And ne"er thought on Caesar again. 
 
 And now they were joia'd in Hymen's soft 
 ties. 
 And now they for feasting prepar'd : 
 With pailsfull of tripe they regailed their 
 
 eyes ; 
 Bat how great was their wonder, dismay, 
 and surprise. 
 When they heard the bell ring in the 
 yard. 
 
 Then first, much astonish'd, did Flora be- 
 hold 
 Some other dog plac'd at her side, 
 Whobarkd notatall, though he look'd very 
 
 bold, 
 While round to the fair one his eyeballs 
 he roll'd, 
 And open'd his mouth very wide. 
 
 His visage was grnfF, and gigantic his- paw, 
 
 His collar was sable to view ; 
 From his guests on a sudden did pleasure 
 
 withdraw ; 
 The dogs all shriek'd out at the sight of his 
 claw, 
 And the cats all iaconcertcried — "Mew.'" 
 
 So great was the fear and dismay that he 
 spread ; 
 So much had he frighten'd each dog, 
 None spoke, '(ill poor Flora took courage, 
 
 and said — 
 " I pray that your grufTness aside might 
 be laid, 
 " While yon deigii to partake of oiir 
 '• prog." 
 
 This said — her request with attea'.ion h« 
 grants, 
 And he prnmiscd to alter his mien ; 
 He began like a donkey to kick and to 
 
 prance ; 
 His flesh fiom his bones fell as if "(were in 
 romance — 
 And a skeleton ilog there was seen ! 
 
 Through the party this sent forth amaze- 
 ment, no doubt ; 
 Thisstiuck nith a panic the row ! — 
 The maggots crept in, aud the maggots 
 
 crept out ; 
 They straggled, they jump'd, and they 
 scamper'd about — 
 M'hile the spectre address'd little Flo. 
 
 These words to false Flora the skeleton 
 spake, 
 While boldly he claim'd her as wife — 
 •' Behold I am come without tail to my 
 
 " back, 
 " To bear you to torture, to pains, and to 
 
 " rack ; 
 " To sink you helow with a terrible crack : 
 " And so put an end to your life !" 
 
 He spoke — and his claws round the fair one 
 he threw ; 
 Poor Flora redoubled her moan ; 
 Then off v. ith his prize to the devil he 
 
 flew — 
 Sad fate for poor Flora! — but nobody knew 
 Which way to Old Nick they were gone. 
 
 Not long lived the greyhound, and none 
 since that hour 
 To inhabit the kennel presume : 
 There, chronicles tell, forced by some migh- 
 ty pov^'r, 
 She suffers repentant as well as her woer. 
 And mourns her deplorable doom. 
 
 At midnight, twelve times in each year, 
 does her sprite. ^ 
 
 When mortals are all snoriug out, 
 Appear in the yard on a uioon-shiuy night 
 (Ye Gods, what a dreadful and horrible 
 sight !) 
 And screams as he twirls her about. 
 
 With tubs full of brimstone, and water, and 
 
 mud, 
 '.\lidst dog-goblins they utter their woe ; 
 A toast they put round that would freeze 
 
 one's heart's Klood — 
 " Let us drink a health to C^-sar the proud, 
 " And his consort the false little Fiol"
 
 nj Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events^ 
 
 494 Liter av 
 
 Refusal of a t'omtdj/. 
 
 AM a-iulior who had given a come- 
 dy iiiH) the hatuls of a manai^er for 
 his perusal, called on liim for his 
 opiiiiwM of tlie piece. Whilst the poor 
 author in liembling auNicly expected 
 the fate of his perfoi mance, the ma- 
 naocr retHiiud the piny with a grave 
 face, saying, " Sir, depend upon it, 
 lliis is a ihiu^not to be laughed at." 
 
 A Friendly Wish. 
 
 A GENTLEMAN pretty far ad- 
 vanced in y*'ars, coiin>Iaiiieil to ano- 
 ther, that f-'ge liad comniifted great 
 outrages upon liis person, and parti- 
 cularly that his back was curved like 
 a semi circular arch: "In short," 
 added he, " if time should csntiiuie to 
 be equally unkind to nic, I should not 
 wonder if, in a short time, my head 
 was to sink almost as low as niy feet," 
 " I should be happy to see you in iliat 
 situation," replied his frienil. '1 he old 
 gentleman, supposing the other had 
 a regard for him, petulantly demand- 
 ed his reason for so extraordinary a 
 wish ; " Because/' resumed the other, 
 **' considering the high price of provi- 
 sions, it v\ould be a comfortable thing 
 for you, if jou could make both ends 
 meet." 
 
 F.xtraordinary Accident, 
 
 SOME time ago the landlord of the 
 Folly Inn, just above Maidenhead, 
 (apon a \oiu\g and valuable horse 
 bought upon speculation, and brought 
 out i'or sale) hunting with the king's 
 hounds near Taplow, and taking a 
 leap over a hedge into the lane where 
 a cottage had formerly stood, felt the 
 hind parts of his liorse sink until his 
 own feet rested on the ground: un- 
 foitunalely the horse continued sink- 
 ing by his own weight, and a seeming 
 suction into an old well, ob?ciired 
 from sight by the brambles, and was, 
 
 \n opposition to every effort, in a few 
 miiiutes ob!ii:ed to be covered, (or 
 rather buried) in that state, with his 
 head about two ftet below the surface, 
 to the great loss of the owner, and the 
 inexpiessihie distress of every sports- 
 man in the field. 
 
 What is Life? 
 
 IF life is a bubble, and breaks with a glass. 
 You must toss otl" your wine, if you wisli 
 
 it to last -^ 
 For the bulii)le may well be destroyed with 
 
 a pufT, 
 If 'tis uot kept floatiog in liquor enough. 
 
 If life is a flower as philosophers say, 
 'Tis a very good thing understood the right 
 
 way ; 
 For if lile is a flower^ any blockhead can 
 
 tell, 
 Ifyou'd have it look fresh, you must moistea 
 
 it well. 
 
 This life is no more than a journey 'tis said, 
 
 Where the roads for the most part are con- 
 foundedly bad ; 
 
 So let wine be our spurs, and all trav'llers 
 will own. 
 
 That whatever the roads, we jog merrily 
 on. 
 
 This world to a theatre liken'd has been, 
 
 Where each man around has a part in the 
 srene ; 
 
 'Tis our part to be drnnk, and 'tis matter of 
 fact. 
 
 That the more you all drink, boys, the bet- 
 ter you act. 
 
 This life is a dream, in which many will 
 
 weep. 
 Who have strange silly fancies, and cry in 
 
 their sleep ; 
 But of us, when we wake froo) our dream 
 
 'twill be said, 
 That the tears of the tankard were all we 
 
 Ehed. 
 
 Gtography, 
 
 FOOTE, who had a sovctaign con- 
 tempt for his wife, said to Murphy, 
 " You may learn geography from her 
 face ; on one side you may see the 
 Blue Mountains, on the other the 
 Black Forests, here (he Red Sea, and 
 liere (pointing to his forehead) jou 
 may evidently behold the Rocks of 
 Sciily."
 
 I 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas^ Epigrams, Poetrg^ Sfc. 495 
 
 Anecdote of Richard HI. 
 
 IN tlie town of Leicester, the 
 house is still siiewii where Richard 
 ' II[. passed the night before the bat- 
 tle of Bosvvorth ; and there is a story 
 of hini, still preserved in tlie cor})ora- 
 tioii records, which illustrntes the cau- 
 tion and darkness of that prince's 
 character. It was his custom to carry 
 among the ba^gaoe of his catnp, a 
 cumbersome wooden bed, which he 
 pretended was the only bed he could 
 sleep in. Here he contrived a secret 
 receptacle for his treasure, which lay 
 concealed under a weight of tintber. 
 After the fatal day on which Richard 
 fell, the earl of Richmond entered 
 Leicester with his victorious troops ; 
 the friends of Richard were pillaged, 
 but the bed was neglected by every 
 plunderer, as useless lumber. The 
 owner of the house afterwards disco- 
 vering the hoard, became suddenly 
 rich, without any visible cause. He 
 bought lands, and at length arrived 
 at the dignity of being mayor of Lei- 
 cester. Many years afterwards, his 
 widow, who had been left iu great 
 affluence, was murdered for her wealth 
 by her servant maid, who had been 
 privy to the affair ; and at the trial of 
 this woman and hfr accomplices, the 
 whole transaction came to li^ht. 
 
 Anecdote of Sir Geors;e Rooke. 
 THE famous Sir George Rooke, 
 when he was a captain of the marines, 
 was quartered at a village, where he 
 buried a pretty many of his men; 
 at length the par5()n rt fused to per- 
 form the ceremony of their interment 
 iiny more, unless !}e was paid jbr it ; 
 which being told Captain Rooke, lie 
 ordered six men of his cosiipany to 
 carry ti.e corpse of the soldier then 
 dead, and lay him upon the parson's 
 hall table. This so embarrassed tlie 
 [)riest, tbitt he sent the captain word, 
 " If he would fttch the man aivay, lie 
 would hiiry him and all his company 
 for 7iothing." 
 
 Anecdote of Socrates. 
 
 ONE day Socrates, having for a 
 long time endured his wift^'s bawiim:, 
 went out o( his house, and sat dovvn 
 before the door, to rid himself of her 
 impertinence. The wontan, eniagtd 
 to find dll her scolding was not aiWe 
 to disturb his tranquillity, flung a 
 chamber pot full upon his head. 
 Those that happened to see it, lauglied 
 heartily at poor Socr.ites; but that 
 philosopher told iheni, smiliiu', / 
 thought indeed, that after ao much 
 thunder, we should haxe dome i-aui. 
 
 Anecdote of the Duchess of Kingston. 
 
 THIS lady was always remarkable 
 for having a very high sense of her 
 dignity; being one day detained in 
 her carriage by a cart of coals that was 
 unloading in a very narrow street, she 
 leans with both her arms upon the 
 door, and askod the fellow, " How 
 dare you, sirrah, to stop a woman of 
 quality in the street?" "woman of 
 quality !'' (replied the man) — •• Yes, 
 fellow, (rejoined her grace) don't you 
 see mi/ arms 7ipon my carriage ?" — 
 " Yes, I do indeed, (he answered) 
 and a pair of d — d coarse arms i\\ty 
 
 are." 
 
 Anecdote of Cihher. 
 
 THE manor of Winchendon (for- 
 !i>er!y th^ estiife of the Wharton I'a- 
 n\i!y) is situated in a very dirty part of 
 the county of BiicKingham, where the 
 soil is a very stiff clisy. Gibber liic 
 inureat, nin) sonietiii!es visited tiip fa- 
 n;ou3 dni-e of VViiarton at fliat plao-f^, 
 was once in iiis coach willj liinj, when 
 it weiit very ilowjy through a di'ep 
 slough. CoHey, with liis usital vivn- 
 city luui assurance, s&ii! to his grac'.\ 
 " It is reporJed, my lorrl dukt-, tlrit 
 yon run ovit of yo\!r estate, but it is 
 ' impossible for jou iu iiiii out of this."
 
 406 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, JVomlerful Events^ 
 
 Ins;rut itude. 
 
 SOON aft<;)- the first performanre 
 of. the School for Scaiulal, it was re- 
 ported to Sheiidan, thnt Mr. Cum 
 I'erland had observed that he saw it. 
 but could find notjiing in it to make 
 J)im laULjh. "This," said the former, 
 ** was very uui^raleful, for 1 laughed 
 heariiiy at his tragedy." 
 
 A Pulpit Bull. 
 
 A CLERGYMAN preaching in the 
 city, on the anniversary of a charity 
 for girls, foigettini; the last circiim 
 stance, informed his audience, that 
 through their munificence, some of 
 the objects of this charity might 
 hereaf'er become lord mayors of Lon- 
 flon, or Q\Qn archlmfiops of Canter- 
 bury. 
 
 Enigmatical List of Heathen Gods 
 and Goddesses, 
 
 AN useful piece of furniture. 
 
 An article, and a contraction of 
 two short words. 
 
 To spoil, changing the last letter. 
 
 Three-sevenths of a precious stone, 
 and two-thirds of a surprize. 
 
 Three-fourths of a man's christian 
 name, and a consonant. 
 
 Thice-fouiths of a leap, and an 
 ad\erb of denying. 
 
 Throe fourths of to scourge, and one 
 half of a torturing machine. 
 
 To load, changing a letter, and to 
 smu'^igle iransposed. 
 
 'i hree-eights of a window, and two- 
 rifths of to introduce. 
 
 Half of a Chinese vessel, and a 
 quarter of unwillingness. 
 
 Half a bladder, half a scolding 
 woman, and a vowel 
 
 Half a Russian priest, and a quar- 
 ter of a fragraijt shrub. 
 
 One-tenth of rough, and one-fourth 
 of drunken 
 
 Two-sevenths of a blessing, and 
 three- fourth-* of to ponder. 
 
 Half of to fasten, and half of to 
 assemble. 
 
 Two-sevenths of a balcony, and a 
 Roman emperor. 
 
 Thiee-eighihs of a srnall monkey, 
 and one-sislh of a floodgate. 
 
 To cover with wax, and one-eighth 
 of a small dagger. 
 
 Three-fitths of mockery, and half 
 of to sweep. 
 
 Half a relation, a measure, and a 
 vowel. 
 
 Three-fourths of not many, and 
 half of to fondle. 
 
 Three eights of a Turkish soldier, 
 and one-fifth of a compound spirit. 
 
 Splendour, changing a letter, and 
 Iwo-fifihs of dirty. 
 
 Three-fifths of a journal, and two- 
 ihirds of to bite. 
 
 One-third of rudeness, and half of 
 to frolic. 
 
 Two-fifteenths of melancholy, and 
 half of to threaten. 
 
 Half of to divide, and two sevenths 
 of a whirlwind. 
 
 Half to restrain, and half of to 
 tritle. 
 
 Neck or Nothing. 
 
 FOOTE dining at the house of 
 Mrs. Thrale found nothing to his 
 liking, and sat in expectation of some- ' 
 thing better coming up. A neck of 
 mutton being the last thing, he refused 
 it, as he had the other dishes. As 
 the servant was taking it away, how- 
 ever, understandinij that there was 
 nothing more, he called out to the 
 fellow, " Hollo, master, bring that 
 back again; I now find it is neck or 
 nothing." 
 
 Modest Preacher. 
 
 WHEN doctor preaches said 
 
 an humble pastor, the ploughman ah 
 leaves his furrow, the tradesman his ■■ 
 shop, the scholar his books, and the 
 fine lady her toilet, to crowd round 
 his pulpit. " When I preach, I set 
 all things to rights again, and every 
 one follows his own business."
 
 Interesthiff Narrative.';, Enigmas, Epifframs, Poetnj, S;c. 4?)7 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 THE methofl which Kin^j Sigar 
 took of gaiiiio!^ the afFoctions of 
 Avilda, daughter to (he kinii; of Goth- 
 laiul, was somewhat uncommon. 
 This lad}', contrary to the manners 
 and disposition of her sex, exercised 
 the profession of piracy, and was 
 scouring the seas with a powerful fleet, 
 while a foreign prince was orteriiig sa- 
 crafices to her beauty at the sliriue of 
 love. Perceiving that this mascuiine 
 lady was not to be gained by the 
 usual arts of lovers, Sigar took the 
 extraordinary resolution of addressing 
 her in a nietliod in<ire agreeable to 
 her humour. He fitted out a fleet, 
 went in quest of her, and engaged 
 her in a furious battle, which continu- 
 ed two days without intermission : 
 thus gaining possession of a heart, to 
 be conquered only by valour. 
 
 Anecdote of the late King, 
 
 HIS majesty once, on his return 
 lo England from his German domin- 
 ions, having iiis oarraige broke down 
 between the Brill and the Helvoet- 
 slujs, was obliged to- stay at an ob- 
 scure public-house on the road, wiiil.st 
 some of his servants went forward to 
 order another carriage. Tiie refresh- 
 ment he had there, was a pot of cof- 
 fee for himself and Lord Delawar, 
 and four bottles of Hollaiid's gin, 
 made into punch, f>r the footmen; 
 however, when the bill came to be 
 called for, the honest Dutchman, 
 knowing who he had under his roof, 
 made out the following charge : " To 
 refreshment for his sacred majesty 
 Kiug George the Second, and hous- 
 hold, £f)i." Lord Delawar was so 
 provoked at such an imposition, that 
 he could iiot forbear raisinn his voict- 
 so loud, thai the king overheard hiu), 
 and insisted upon knowing the parti- 
 culars ; which hi$ lordship hud no 
 
 sooner informed him of, than he very 
 good-humouredly replied, ** He is a 
 very great rogue ; however, my lord, 
 let him be paid : kings seldom qall 
 this way." 
 
 Anecdote of Dr. Johnson, 
 A GENTLEMAN observing to 
 the doctor, that there was less vagrant 
 poor in Scotland than in England, 
 and as a proof of it, said there was 
 no instance of a beggar dying in the 
 streets there. " I believe you are very 
 right, sir, says Johnson, but that does 
 not arise for the want of vagrants, hut 
 the impossibiliti/ of starvmg a .Scotch- 
 man." 
 
 Anecdote of a Drummer. 
 IN the late war, an English drum- 
 mer having wandered from his camj), 
 and getting too near the Freneh lines, 
 he was seized and brought before the 
 French comn^.ander, on suspicion of 
 being a spy disguised in a drummer's 
 uniform. On being asked who he was^ 
 he answered, a drummer in the Eng- 
 lish service. This not gaining credit, 
 ■A drum was sent for, and he was de- 
 sired to beat a couple of marches, 
 which accordingly he did, and re- 
 moved the Frenchman's suspicion. 
 However, he desired the drummer to 
 beat a retreat, "A retreat, sir! (re- 
 plied the Briton) I don't know what 
 it is, nor is it kiiown in the English 
 service." This answer so pleased the 
 French oflSeer, that he dismissed the 
 drummer, and wrote to his general, 
 coaimending his spirited behaviour. 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 A NEGRO, who had become a 
 bankruj)!, surrendered himself to l:is 
 creditor, who, according to the ee- 
 taldibhed custom of th<i country in 
 \\\i\\ cases, sold him to the l-anes. 
 Before the departure of the vcsslI for 
 ) he West-Indies, the son of this nv.ui 
 2 S
 
 4?)8 Literarif Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 came to him on shipboard, After the 
 teiiderest effusioiis of sensibility on | 
 befh si<Jes, the son respectfully re- 
 proached tlic father for not having 
 made use of the power the law gave 
 him, of selling hischildien forpaying 
 his debts; and demanded with great 
 earnestness, to be allowed to take his 
 place; but the father, not less gene- 
 rous tlian the son, haviijg refused to 
 Tigree to this exchange, the son applied 
 to the owner of the slaves, and had 
 no difiicnity in persuading him, that 
 a young robust person was better able 
 lo bear the fatigue, than a man al- 
 ready advanced in years. This offer 
 was accepted ; the son was put in 
 chains, and the father, in spite of 
 himself, not being able to prevent it, 
 was set at liberty. Mr. Isert having 
 been witness to this generous contest, 
 was so affecfed by it, as to represent 
 it to the ,<',overnor, who, moved by 
 t!ie story, sent fcr the owner of the 
 slaves, and paid out of his own 
 pocket the money he had given for 
 the old man, and restored the son to 
 his father. 
 
 Thosf who wish to degrade human 
 nature and vilify the works of God, 
 often meet with facts which contra- 
 dicl their detestable hj/petkesis. God 
 made man upright ; and there are 
 traces of t!ie original propensity of 
 the human mind to beneficence and 
 kindness, in all nations, and among 
 every people. Wiioever attempts to 
 inculcate an opposition doctrine, is 
 guiiiy of treason— not against the 
 king— not against the nation, but 
 against the majesty of human nature. 
 
 vice, and that which the devil gave 
 to our Saviour, is, that Satan advised 
 Jesus to turn the stones into bread, 
 that the poor might be fed, and you 
 desire me to turn the bread of the 
 poor into stones." 
 
 Anecdote of a Man of Qualitj/, and 
 a Reverend French Bishoj). 
 
 A NOBLEMAN advised a French 
 bishop to make an addition to his 
 house, (>f a new wing in the modern 
 ktyle. Tlie bishop immediately an- 
 swered him, " The difference, my 
 lord, that there is between your ad- 
 
 Anecdote of an Attorney, 
 
 A WORTHY old gentleman in the 
 country, having employed an attorney 
 of whom he had a pretty good opin- 
 ion, to do some law business for him 
 in London, was greatly surprized on 
 his coming to town, and demanding 
 his bill of law charges, to find that it 
 amounted to at least three times the 
 sum he expected. The honest attor- 
 ney assured him, that there was no 
 article in his bill but what was fair 
 and reasonable. Nay, said the coun- 
 try gentleman, there's one of them, I 
 am sure, caimot be so, for you have set 
 down three shillings and fourpence 
 for going to Southwark, when none of 
 my business lay that way; pray what 
 is the meaning of that, sir? Oh! 
 sir, ?aid he, that was for fetching the 
 turkey and chine from the carrier's, 
 that you sent me for a prejsent out o^* 
 the country. 
 
 Anecdote of Dr. King. 
 
 DR. KING, late archbishop of 
 Dublin, having invited several persons 
 of disthiction to dine with him, had, 
 amongst a great variety of dishes, a 
 tine leg of mutton and caper-sauce ; 
 .but the doctor, who was not fond of 
 butter, and remarkable for preferring 
 a trencher to a plate, had some of the 
 above pickles reserved dry for his own 
 use; which, as he was mincing, he 
 called aloud to the company to observe 
 him ; I here present you, my lords 
 and gentlemen, said he, with a sight 
 that may henceforward serve you to 
 talk of as something curious, that yon 
 sate an archbishop of Dublin, at four- 
 score and seven years of age, eiit cu- 
 pel's upon a trencher.
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, 8;c. 499 
 
 Anecdote of the late Sir William 
 Stanhope. 
 
 THIS gentleman coming out v\ 
 Drury-Lane theatre, with a lady 
 under his arm, was met by a cnr,o!e 
 of bucks, who look some iiherties, 
 not veiy acceptable to the lady, or her 
 protector. 
 
 Sir Wiiliam, wliose courage was 
 equal to his gallantry, imtneciiately 
 called upon the gentleman to anaweV 
 for their misconduct. 
 
 One of the heroes steps forward 
 and says, " Sir, tiK' lady wearing ar- 
 tificial colour on her cheeks, we look- 
 ed upon as fair game." Sir Wiiiiani's 
 reply, and his subsequent conduct, 
 did honour to his prowess and plain 
 sincerity. 
 
 *' Gentlemen," said he, " I may 
 have mistaken ihe roses on the lady's 
 cheeks for the ornaments of pure and 
 simple nature; I shall be happy, if, 
 by your means^ I shall be cured of 
 my illusion. — But I swear by G — , 
 you shall never evade me, until I shall 
 have fully proved the truth or fallacy 
 of your assertion. 
 
 " Retire wirh me," continues Sir 
 William, " to the Rose Tavern, there 
 the experiment shall be made." 
 
 To the Rose they repaired — cold 
 and hot water were called for, and 
 applied with a napkin, smeared with 
 soap and pomatum. Obstinate na- 
 ture prevailed — the roses did net 
 fade, but bloomed more in the opera- 
 tion. 
 
 The bucks were convinced— they 
 begged pardon for their transgressions, 
 and wished to depart in peace. 
 
 *' Not 80," says Sir William, " You 
 have been satisfied and so will I. The 
 lady has underiroiie the ordeal, and 
 she has come from it pure and unpol- 
 luted. My part I have to act; you 
 nmst, on your knees, ask the lauv's 
 pardon." They did so. 
 
 " Now gcnllemen," said Sir Wil- 
 liam, " d-> not blush ytyour past coi\- 
 
 Uicf; the liberty you took was not uiily 
 .ustifiable, but even proper, if, n't 
 ;tOur own risk, you ran the peril cf'the 
 j)rocf. If I had proved her a pkt, 
 the most odious and perfidious of all 
 impostors, I should, in the language 
 of Othello, ' have whibiled her ok, 
 and let her down the wiad, a prey to 
 fortune;' but as she is pure from that 
 conta;>ion, I insist on your suppin' 
 and dfinki.Mg a bottle of Burgundy 
 with the otiended innocent and her 
 protector." 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 ABOUT half a century ago, when 
 it was more the fashion to drink ale at 
 Oxford than it is at present, a hun.or- 
 ous fellow of punning memory estab- 
 Jisiied and ale-house near the pound, 
 and wrote over his door, " Ale sold' 
 by the pound."~As his ale was as 
 good as his jokes, the Oxonians re- 
 sorted to his house in great numbers, 
 and sometimes staid there beyond' 
 the college hours, Tliis was made a 
 matter of complaint to the vice- 
 chancellor, who was desired to take 
 away his licence, by one of the 
 proctors of the university. Bonni 
 ^ace was summoned to attend, and 
 when he came into the vice-chancel- 
 lor's presence, he began hawking and 
 spitting about the room; this" the 
 chancellor observed, and asked uhat 
 he meant by it? "Please ycur wor- 
 ship," said he, «' I am come here on 
 purpose to clear myself," 
 
 The vice-chancellor imagined thpt 
 he actually weighed his ale, and sold 
 it in that manner ; he therefore said 
 to hmr, " They tell me you sell ale by 
 the pound ; is that true ]" «« No, and 
 please your worship," replied the wit. 
 "How do you then!" said the chan- 
 cellor. " Very well, I thank vou sir," 
 replied the wit, " How do vou do V' 
 Ihe chancellor laughed, ami said, 
 " Get away for a rascal ; \\\ sav no 
 more to you.'' The fellow departed.
 
 500 LUermj Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wovderful Events, 
 
 and ciossing the quadrangle, met the 
 proctor who laid the uiformation ; 
 "Sir," said he, " i!ie vice-chancellor 
 wants to speak with you," and nturn- 
 with him. " Hfretir," s<iid he, '' litre 
 he is." " Wiio T said the chanceiior. 
 "Why, sir," said he, "vcu sent me 
 for a rascid, and I have brought vou 
 the greatest one I know of." 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 SEWARD, the brave earl of Nor- 
 Ihuniberhnid, feeling, in his sickness, 
 that he drew near his end, quitted his 
 bed, and put on his armour, sayinc;, 
 " That it became not a man to die like 
 a beast;" on which he died standing: 
 su act as heroic as it was s:n2ular. 
 
 Anecdote of Dr. Johnson. 
 
 WHEN Dr. Johnson was in Scot- 
 land, ainungst oilier curiosities shewn 
 liiiri, he was taken to a very ancient 
 and high castle, which was reckoned 
 to command the most extensive view 
 of any ill the country: "Well, sir, 
 (says the guide) what do yo think of 
 this prospect V — " By much the finest 
 in all Scotland," says the doctor, " for 
 I can here see the road to England." 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 A MOST egregious f©p ordered 
 his servant not to suffer any body to 
 intrude upon him, because he was 
 geifig to adonize himself. A lady 
 called shortly after this injunction, 
 and inquired of the servant for his 
 master. " Madam," (said he) you 
 cannot see my master." — " But I must, 
 I have very particular busir.ess wilh 
 him," returned the lady ; " pray why 
 can't 1 see him ?" *' Because," re- 
 plied valet " he is but this mo- 
 nicpt gone up to idolize himself." 
 
 ■ A Receipt in Cooker?/. 
 
 SOME gentlemen in a coficc-housc 
 dispuiiiig about the best nnKie (/f 
 dressing a beef-steak ; says Wewirzer, j.. 
 " For m\' past, I prefer Shaks.peare's ||| 
 receipt," — '" ShaKspeare's riceipt."ex- ^" 
 claimed one of ilie company, " what 
 is that ?" 
 
 " If whea 'twere doue, 'twere well done, 
 *' Then 'twere wcli it were done quickly." 
 
 Preparatory Practice. 
 
 A CORDELIER once pleaching 
 before Cardinal Hichlieu, -and a num- 
 ber of tiie French nobility, was after 
 the sermon introduced to the ruinisler, 
 who told him he whs pleased with Ins 
 discourse ; but added, he was surpris- 
 eo that a provincial priest could speak 
 before such an assembly without any 
 en.barrassment. *' ^^ hy, my lord 
 cardinal," saul the preacher, " 1 knew 
 I was to have that honour tome 
 months ago, and fiom that time to 
 this I have every morning rehearsed 
 my sermon before the cabbages in my 
 own garden, and one great red cab- 
 bage, which grows in the centre, I 
 alwaysconsidered asyourexcellency." 
 
 A Week's Work, in a Letter from a 
 Youili to his Father. 
 
 Dear Fathek, 
 
 " I WRITE to you this day, which 
 is Monday, and, mean to send it by 
 the messenger who goes from hence 
 to-morrow, 'Tuesday ; he will be in 
 London by Wednesday, and you will 
 receive it on Thursday : please let rue 
 have some money by Friday, as I 
 shall quit tliis place on Saturday, and 
 be wilh you on Sunday." 
 
 Useful Hint. 
 
 IN the parlour of a publichouse 
 in Fleet-btieet, there is written over 
 the chimney-piece the following notice: 
 " Gentlemen learning to spell arc de- 
 sired to use yesterday's paper."
 
 Interestinf/ Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetrij, S^c. 501 
 
 Character of Olicer Cromivtll. 
 
 OLIVER Cromwell was of a ro- 
 bust make and constiluiion ; his as- 
 pect manly ihoiioli clownish. Ilib 
 education extended no funlier than a 
 superficial knowlcdse of the Latin 
 tongue, but he inherited great talents 
 from nature; though they were such 
 as he could not have exerted to ad- 
 vantage at any other juncture than 
 that of a civil war inflamed by religi- 
 ous contests. 
 
 His character was composed of an 
 amazing combination of enthusiasm 
 hypocrisy, and ambition. He was 
 possessed of courage and resolution, 
 that overIo(.)ket'"^lI dangers, and saw 
 no difficulties, He dived into th<? 
 characters of mankind with wonderlul 
 siigacity, while he concealed his own 
 purposes under the impenetrable veil 
 of dissimulation. 
 
 He reconciled the most atrocious 
 crimes to the most rigi'l notions of 
 religious obligations. From the se- 
 verest exercise of devotion, he relax- 
 ed into the most ridiculous and idle 
 amusements. 
 
 Cromwell possessed a vigorous 
 and active understanding: and could 
 assume, whenever he pleased, that 
 dignity of manners which befitted hi, 
 high station. But when he relaxed 
 himself from the toils of war, or the 
 cares of government, his amusements 
 frequently consisted of the lowest 
 buffoonery. 
 
 ^ Before the trial of Charles L when 
 a meeting was held between the chiefs 
 of the republican party, and the ge- 
 neral officers, to concert the modelof 
 the intended new government — after 
 the debates on this most interesting 
 and important subject, Ludlow in- 
 forms us, that Cromwell by way of 
 frolic threw a cushion at his head; 
 and even in the high court of justice, 
 in that solemn moment when he took 
 the pen to sign the warrant for the 
 unhappy monarch's execution, he 
 
 ciiuld not forbear'tiic Itvity of (limb- 
 ing the face of his iieighbour with the 
 ink. 
 
 Crotnwell was cruel and ty;annic 
 from policy; jusi and tempeia'.e iroiu 
 inclination ; perplexed and despicable 
 in his discourse ; clear and consum- 
 mate in his designs ; ridiculous in his 
 reverie>; trecjuently resjiectable in his 
 conduct: in a word, he was the 
 strangest C!)mpound of viliainy and 
 virtue, baseness and magnannnity, 
 absurdity and good sen^e, that w^e 
 find on record in the annals of man- 
 kind. 
 
 Oliver Cromwell died on the o<.\ of 
 September, 16VjS; and Richcud, his 
 son, was proclaimed protector in his 
 room : but Richard being of a very 
 different disposition from his father, 
 resigned his authority the 22d of 
 April, 1659; and soon alter signed 
 his abdication in form, and retired to 
 the continent. He travelled there for 
 a few years after his resignation, ami 
 tliiMi returned to England ; residing 
 in peace as a private country gentle- 
 man, upon his paternal estate at Chcs- 
 hunt, where he died, highly respected 
 for his social viiiues, at the age of SO". 
 
 The Dead Alive. 
 
 A MAN sitting one evening in an 
 alehouse, thinking how to get provi- 
 sion for the next day, saw a ieilow 
 dead drunk upon the opposite bench. 
 " Do you not wish to get rid ot this 
 sot?" said he to the landlord. "Ido, 
 and half-a-crown shall speak my 
 thanks," was the reply. " Agreed,'' 
 said the other, " get me a sack." A 
 sack was procured and put over the 
 drunken guest. Away trudged the 
 man with his burthen, till he came to 
 the house of a noted resurrectionist, 
 al whose door he knocked. ^ Who's 
 there?" said a voice liom within. <* I 
 have brought }ou a subject," _ rc{,>!ied 
 the mail ; " so come, quick, o,ve rne. 
 my fee." The money was immediately
 
 502 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, JVonderful Events, 
 
 paid, aftd the sack uiih its contents, 
 deposited in fi'.e snrgerv. The luolioii 
 of quick vvailiing !iad ntariy recover- 
 ed the poor victim, who, before the 
 other WAS gone f.vo niivsuies, endea 
 voured to extricate hisnseif fioni tin' 
 sack. The puiciiaser, em aged ut be- 
 isig I has oiih^iUed, ran after ths; man 
 nho liad (kctived him, collared 
 hiiiT, and cried out, " Wliy, \ou tic;:, 
 the man's aiive." — "Alive !" arjsvvereo 
 the other, " so nnicli i!se better ; kiil 
 him when you want him." 
 
 Enigmatical List of Fishes. 
 
 TO half of o scourge, add a vessel well"^ 
 
 known. I 
 
 Three-tenths of a poet, cue fourth of a 
 
 ^tone, 
 And th' initi'il of iiim who sils on the 1 
 
 throne. j 
 
 A pronoun and circle the next wili declare. 
 Three-lifths of a iong, and one-seveutb to 
 
 compare. 
 Two-sixths of to smtar, and one-third to 
 
 desire. 
 Two-sixths of a chest, and one-third to 
 
 expire. 
 Three-fourths of to range, and two-fifths of 
 
 to blame. 
 Three-sevenths of to smite, and two-fifths 
 
 of a game. 
 Two-thiids of a peg, .-fnd two-thirds of to 
 
 see. 
 Of a serpent just half, and two-fifths of a 
 
 tree. 
 Three-fourths of a hlockhead, one-seventh 
 
 to defend, 
 One-sixth of a breach, and two-ninths of to 
 
 head. 
 Three-fourths of to think, and two-fifths 
 
 of to speatw 
 Three-fourUi*' of to wBund, and th' initial 
 
 of weak. 
 Thrce-lifths of to level, one-slsth of to 
 
 steep, 
 And two-stxths of what ladies are said not 
 
 to keep. 
 Two-sixths oftocheer,and half of to gnide. 
 One-fifth of a bird, and two-sevenths of 
 
 pride. 
 Two sevenths of to beg, one-fourth of a 
 
 field. 
 Two-thirds of a sphere, and one-sixth of to 
 
 yield 
 Three-sevenths of a gin, and two-sixths 
 
 4if to gain. 
 Three-Fifths of a pipe, and one-fourth of 
 plain. 
 
 One-sixtii ot an iusect, t\'»o-fifl'is of to 
 
 •hare, 
 Two-thirds of a crt wd, aad one-sixth to 
 
 declare. 
 Tbree-tourths of tojoin,an!S oi3 --seventh of 
 
 Three-fonrUisof a dress, and oae-fifih of a 
 
 knave. * 
 
 Two-sixths of to mangle, the same of to 
 
 pine, 
 Of a quadrupede half, and one-fifth of a 
 
 sign. 
 ITjree-sevenths of thin, and two ninths of a 
 
 quack. 
 Of a niggard three-fifths, and cue-third of a 
 
 sackv 
 Two sixths of a monkey, one-third of a 
 
 twig. 
 Just half of to vow, and the initial of big, 
 To conclude, learned gents, I wonld have 
 
 you write down, 
 Three-sevenths of to rob, and a Somerset 
 
 town. 
 
 An Epigram on a Quarrel between twa 
 Doctors. 
 
 A DOCTOR late, on blood deeds intent, 
 A challenge to a brother doctor sent. 
 More prudent he, and tenderof his hide. 
 By law the matter wishes to decide. 
 To end this mighty business in a thrice, 
 Dear Doctors, take an unknown friend's 
 
 advice ; 
 Let each for each a bold prescription draw, 
 A fate m.ore sure than pistol, sword, or 
 
 law. 
 
 One Thing needful. 
 
 TO m<ike a plumb pudding, a French 
 
 connt once took 
 This authentic receipt from an English 
 
 lord's cook : 
 
 " Mix suet, milk, eggs, sugar, meal, fruit, 
 
 " and spice, 
 " Of such number, such measure, snch 
 
 *• weight, and such price ; 
 " Drop a spoonful of brandy, to quicken 
 
 " the mess; 
 " And boil it for so many hours — more or 
 
 " less."— 
 
 These directions were tried, but when tried 
 
 had no good in: 
 'Twas all wash and all squash, but 'twas 
 
 not English pudding ; 
 So monsieur in a pet sent a second request, 
 For the cook that preiscrib'd, to assist when 
 
 'twas drest ; 
 Who of course to comply with bis honour's 
 
 beseeching, 
 Like an old cook of Colebrook, march'd 
 
 into the kiiclieu.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Eniffmas, Epigrams, Poetry, %./;. 50.3 
 
 The French cooks when Ihey saw him. 
 
 talk'tl loud, and talk'd lonff ; 
 They were sure all was right; he could find 
 
 nothing wrong;: 
 'Till jnst as the mixture was rais'd to t!.e 
 
 pot. 
 " Halloa! — Hold your hands!" scream'd 
 
 astonish'd John Trott • 
 " Don't you see you want one thing, like 
 
 " fools as you are ?" 
 " J'oneting, Save!— Vat?" 
 " Why— ^ Pudding Cloth, sare 1" 
 
 An Account of the Plague in London. 
 
 THIS dreadful pestilence broke 
 out JD the month of May, lo65, after 
 R severe frost in the preceding )ear, 
 and after a warning jjiven by a great 
 plague in Holland, which occasioned 
 a prohibition of merchandize from 
 that couiitry in iGGi, At the close 
 of which year two or three persons 
 died suddenly at Westminster with 
 symptoms of that disease. Some of 
 their neighbours being terrified, re- 
 moved into the city, who, by carrying 
 the taint, spread the fatal poison, and 
 in a little titne the whole city was ir- 
 recoverably infected. Notwithstand- 
 ing the aforesaid prohibition, the 
 plague was communicated by goods 
 imported from Holland, brought 
 thither from the Levant, and first 
 broke out in Long-Acre, near the 
 upper end of Dri»ry-Laue,in the parish 
 of St. Giles's in the Fields, at the 
 house wherein the goods were lodged 
 and unpacked, which spread from 
 ihat house to others, by the unwary 
 conversing with the sick, which oc- 
 casioned the death of nine persons ; 
 this happened in the beginning of the 
 month of iMay. A Frenchman, who 
 lived contiguous to tJLie infected houses 
 removed to Beat binder-Lane in the 
 city, and died of the infection. Tiie 
 secretaries of slate bt ing apprised «)f 
 if, immediately sent two physicians and 
 a surgeon to insjiect the several bodii's 
 of the deceased, who reported it was 
 the plague, and threatened universal 
 iHftclion.and th;U it was impossible to 
 
 stop if, so many people iiaving visited 
 the disiempeied. 
 
 Fear and horror seized the coin- 
 nion people, who conceived tliatthe 
 plague visited Euglaud every forty 
 years, because such an event happen- 
 ed in the year l6"'2 5. These frightful 
 apprehensions were kept up and in- 
 creased by astrologers, &c. (notwith- 
 standing the clergy exerted themselves 
 and exposed the folly and wickediitss 
 of the practice) to wiiom they resorted 
 to have their nativities cast, and to 
 know their fortunes. It is swmewhat 
 remarkable, that not one of these fore 
 cunning men appeared after the cala- 
 mitv ceased, who could tell the fate 
 of others, but knew not their own. 
 Enthusiasts who ran up and down the 
 streets preaching destruction to the in- 
 habitants ; the dreams of old women, 
 and the imaginary representations and 
 appearances of dead bodies, coffins, 
 hearses, &c. in the air, greatly heigtiit- 
 ened the distress ; to which also the 
 discourses of some ministers, who 
 prophesied dismal things, not a little 
 contributed. Tiie4i«ople were equdily 
 mad in running after quacks, whose 
 pills and portions rather ()repared 
 their bodies for tlie plague, than pre- 
 served them against it. They had 
 recourse also to charms and amulets 
 for preservation (their fears having 
 rendered them stu|)id) whose insiifti- 
 ciency soon appeared by the death of 
 the wearsirs, who were tlironn into the 
 comuion graves with these trunjpery 
 about their necks. 
 
 The seeds of the plague being cin- 
 fined by a severe frost, did not apjiear 
 until aboutAprd, when the warn.tii of 
 the spring cave them sufficient force, 
 and the riis-teniper agjiin shewed itself 
 ill St. Giles's. But the deaths de- 
 creasing in the weekly bill from iiii.e 
 to three, the minds of the people. b«^- 
 fore terrified, v.ere appeased. Fears 
 «ere luished, and hopes took |)I<ice. 
 These, alas ! weio of ^horf continu- 
 ance, for iti tlic next bill, the numi;er
 
 501 JJternrr; Cnriositieii, Epitaphs^ WoncJerf id Event. ^, 
 
 of the dead increased from three to 
 fourteen: in the next to seventeen; 
 in the nest to fortt-tiiree ; and thi- 
 •li'^ease uol only increased but di>- 
 persed. How (irea(iful the consterua- 
 lion! What fc;;rfal prcsafjes of a de- 
 so!;itinii j'.id-inieiii ! Hnw terrible and 
 nnlancholy the si^ht ! The wealthy 
 and powerful fi}in^ into the country, 
 as from a confl.i^riition, for security ; 
 the streets daily crowded with car- 
 riftqeji, iiorses, and wag^c*"^ '■> J be city 
 deserted by its oj)ulent inhabitants, 
 and njany of the poorer tradesmen 
 leaving their houses, and lying in the 
 open fields, wandering like pilgrims, 
 cr !i\'ing like iiernjits in cells. Every 
 one wiu) could retire,souoht an asylum 
 in the country. The Inns oi Court 
 were shut np, tiure being no occasson 
 for lawycrsjfor every one was at peace. 
 Physicians retired because tiieir art 
 was rendered useless. 1 he clergy 
 also, in affluent circumstances, left 
 llieir tlocks; tiie curates, however. 
 who bad nothing to lose, but much to 
 gain by deati), remained ; though if 
 !iuist be acknowledged, that several 
 eminent in the ciiiirch and meeting, 
 maintained their stations, doing all 
 oifices of humanity, and administer- 
 ing spiritual comfort and consolation 
 to their necess'loi^s and depiuling bre- 
 Ihrcri ; many of whom died in the 
 discharge of tiieir duty. So eager 
 were the people to retire, that a horse 
 was not to be bought, sold, or hired, 
 in the wlso'e city fiir some weeks. All 
 tiade was now at a stand, except v. hat 
 was carried on for intmedi.ste suste- 
 nance ; and journeymen and servants 
 of all kinds were discharged, left 
 friendless and helpIefSjwithont money, 
 withoKt cnip!«)\ment, wlihuut habi- 
 tation: a prodigious nunjber '"f whom 
 perished throng!) wiint,and f-thers ex- 
 pired in great pain and misety with 
 the infection. In this scene of horroi 
 and confusion, (lie magistracy of this 
 city were,tv) their commendation be it 
 sp(«ktn, extrenitly vigilant, active, and 
 
 ir.aiil-.ib;e. The Lord Mayor, court 
 ' f aldermen, and conmion-council, 
 publi.died their resolution not to quit 
 the city themselves, and obliged 
 clmrchwardens and constables either 
 to.stay or lind deputies, to prevent an 
 universal desertion, which was apj)re- 
 hcnded, and to secure the country 
 from being plundered by the multi- 
 tudes who lied. They were incessant 
 in tlie administration of justice, in the 
 distribution of charity to the poor, 
 (for wlicni prodigious sums were col- 
 lected, which prevented ridings and 
 tumults) and in the punishment of 
 plunderers of the sick and dead. They 
 were continually in the streets, and at 
 places of tlie greatest danger. Strict 
 orders were given that the streets be 
 kf pt clear and free from frightful ob- 
 jects and dead bodies, which induced 
 the country people to briog in provi- 
 sions plentifully ; for not the least sign 
 of the calamity was to be seen or 
 heaid, exce>it from t!>e emptiness of 
 the streets, the outcries from the win- 
 dows, and the uumher of houses shut 
 up. What is remarkable, there was 
 no want of bread ; the bakers were 
 obliged to keep ovens constantly 
 going, and the assize of bread was 
 duly observed. Tke most excellent 
 order and good government were 
 kept and observed xti the city and 
 suburds, even when the infection was 
 the most malignant. 
 
 Through the month of May the 
 infection reigned with more or less se- 
 verity, which alternately increased or 
 diminished their hopes and fears. But 
 in June the number advanced from 
 -tS to 112; the next week to l68; 
 (he next 268; the next to 470. Of 
 tl!<^se few died within the walls, and 
 ISuuthwark and Whilechapel were en- 
 tirely free. About the 24th of June, 
 above twenty parishes were infected, 
 and their Majesties removed from 
 Whitehall to Hampton Court. 
 
 Sofrow and sadness now sat on 
 every face; every one looked on him-
 
 Interesiing Narratirea, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, ^c. 505 
 
 selfiiiui f\inii!y in the utmost distress, 
 and were afraid to couverse and d«'al 
 with each other, lest they should be 
 infected, or come from infected piaces. 
 Such iMouruingsar.<l lameytatioiis \vt re 
 frequently heard in streets, as [jierced 
 the stoutest hearts to hear them, and 
 the houses were filled with tears and 
 lametitalions. Notiiin<j was hetrd in 
 the day, but the dismal cry, " Pray 
 for us," and in the night the horrid 
 call, " Bring out your dead," and 
 scarce any thing vendible except cof- 
 fins. Sometimes persons dropped 
 ilown dead in the streets ; many died 
 without ar.y warning, not knowing 
 they had the plague ; and others had 
 only time to go to the next porch or 
 door, sit down, and die, unnoticed and 
 disregarded by the passengers. 
 
 The justices of the peace for Mid- 
 dlesex, by direction from the secre- 
 taries of state, and the lord mayor 
 and court of aldermen, by an act oi 
 parliament, began to shut up the in- 
 fected in their houses, lest by coming 
 out they should spread the infection. 
 Red crosses were put on the doors, 
 over them these words in capitals, 
 " LORD HAVE MERCY UPON 
 US," and watchmen standing before 
 them night and day, with halberts, to 
 hin<ler them from coming abroad un- 
 til forty days after recovery, and to 
 prevent any person from visiting them 
 CKcept such who were appointed by 
 authority. This method of shutting 
 up houses was deemed cruel and un- 
 christian, and the consternation of 
 being thus separated from society, 
 sometimes causelessly and maliciouslv 
 was inexpressibly great. What an in- 
 crease of sorrow and distress to be- 
 hold the most beloved objects in this 
 anguish, without the power of assist- 
 ing or relieving them, mortified with 
 the certaiuiy of their death, and ag- 
 gravated with the reflection, that tiie 
 distemper and death will probably ex- 
 tend to all within the house ! By this 
 imprudent luanagement, whole fami- 
 
 lies were swept away for the disease of 
 one single pt-rson. Many perished in 
 those nu'serabie confinements, who, if 
 they had enjoyed ihtir liberiy, would 
 probably never have been i!..f;cted ; 
 and niriny were kiliel for attempting 
 what was natural, to osc<ipe. These 
 shut-up houses w^re no better than 
 so many seminaries of infection, and 
 instead of checking the contagion, had 
 a direct contrary tendency, on account 
 of the great number of |>ersons, who 
 either by connivance, bribery, force, 
 or stealth, got off, and by wandering 
 about, spread the infection more than 
 they would have done, had they been 
 at large. How was it possible, with- 
 out bars apd chains to confino; persons 
 i made desperate by such severe treat- 
 j nient? From complaints n'.ade of this 
 i unseasonable and ineffectual usage, 
 I some release wi?s procured for the 
 sick, and the consequence was a con- 
 siderable abatement of the disease. 
 Besiiies the houses shut up by the 
 magistrates, whole rows wert desert- 
 ed, and some streets at the west-end 
 of the town, left almost without an 
 inhabitatit. 
 
 In the month of July, the plague 
 increased exceedingly ; the bill rose 
 in the first week to 725; the second 
 to 1089; the tlsird to 184-3; and 
 the fourth to COlO. About the middle 
 of the monili, the plague, which 
 chiefly prcvaikd in St. Giles's and the 
 out parishes, extended itself to South- 
 ward and Lambeth, and when it began 
 to abate in the western parishes, it 
 raged with great violence at Clerkeu- 
 well,Cripi)legale,Shoreditch, Bishops- 
 gate, Aldersgafe, Whitechu'pel and 
 Stepney. On the 2.Qth of the month, 
 the king removed fr' n Hampton- 
 Court t« Sidisbury, which he soon 
 quitted on account of the infection, 
 and took np liis residence at Oxford. 
 Notwithstanding the dreadful havock 
 made, there was a strange mixture of 
 piety and profaneness at the saine 
 time. Fn one huuse you might hear 
 3 T
 
 506 Literary CurhsH'tef;^ EpitaphHy TVonderfid Events^ 
 
 them roariaif under the pains of death, 
 in the next, tippling and blaspheming 
 (Jod ; one house shut up with a red 
 cross, and Lord iiave mercy upon us! 
 the next open to ail nncleaniiess and 
 impiety, as if alt^ijetiier insensible to 
 the indignation of heaven. Things 
 drawing to an extremity by the cruel 
 devastation, made some general reme- 
 dies undertaken for the cure of thi* 
 distemper. A proclamation was issued 
 for a general fast throughout the 
 kingdom. The form of prayer was, 
 by royal appointment, to be used in 
 siil churches and chapels within the 
 bills of mortality, on every Wednesday 
 during the contagion. This worked a 
 reformation in some, and the churches, 
 until this infection increased more vio- 
 lently, were much frequented. Ano- 
 ther means used to stop the infection, 
 aiui prevent tumults, was a proclama- 
 tion requiring all disbanded officers 
 and soldiers, who had served in the 
 armies of the late powers, to deoarl 
 from the cities of London and West- 
 minster, and not to return within 
 twenty miles of the same, until No- 
 vember following. His majesty also 
 commanded the college of physicians 
 to write an English Directory, which 
 they did, and appointed one of their 
 body and two aldermen to attend the 
 infj'cted upon all occasions. They 
 I)iib!isL!ed also, at the request of the 
 lord major, some cheap remedies 
 for the poor in all circumstances of 
 the distemper, winch put a stop to 
 tiieir taking poison for physic, death 
 instead of life, by quack medicines. 
 But the infection resisted all medicines 
 and many, both pliysicians and sur- 
 geons, lost their lives for their gootl- 
 tkiiss and humanity, in endeavouring 
 to restore health to the diseased. 
 The misery of the time lay heaviest 
 upon the poor, riiany of whom, not- 
 withstanding the large contributions 
 o\ pious and good ueople, died in ex- 
 treme agouy for want of food. 
 
 The concern of tke luaeistrates 
 
 however was very great. They did 
 not only give the necessary orders to 
 their officers, but oftentimes attended 
 in person at the poor infected houses, 
 inquiring at tlie windows whether 
 they were duly attended? wanted any 
 necessaries? if the othcers had treated 
 them civilly, or they were ill-served 1 
 On the ninth day of August, the 
 duke and duchess of York, withdrew 
 from London to York, which city was 
 Hot infected, and on the l6"th, his 
 majesty's exchequer was removed 
 fr«m Westminster to Nonsuch, iii 
 Surry. In this month how dreadful 
 was the increase ! In one week from 
 2010 to 38 17; the next toSSSO; the 
 next to 4237 ; and the next to O'l 12. 
 In this and the following month, how 
 terrible was the slaughter, three, four, 
 five, and ence eight thousand in a 
 week ! What British eye can refrain 
 from tears to read of the calamities 
 and miseries of those times? In some 
 houses lay carcasses for buriaJ, in 
 others persons in their last agonies ; 
 in one room might be heard dying 
 groans, in another the ravings of a 
 delirium ; not far off might be seen 
 relations, bewailing the loss of their 
 relations, with the dismal prospect of 
 their own sudden departure. Infants 
 passed immediately from the womb 
 to the grave, and children were found 
 hanging on the breast of their dead 
 mother. The marriage bed was chang- 
 ed in a night for a sepulchre, and the 
 unhappy pair met death in their first 
 embraces. Some ran about the streets 
 like drunkards, others expired in the 
 streets; some lay in a kind of lethargy, 
 never more to awake, and others dropt 
 down dead, as they were purchasing 
 the necessaries of life. The plague 
 spared nojie ; the priest in the exer- 
 cise of his office, the physician in ad- 
 ministering his antidotes fell; most of 
 the female sex died, and few children 
 escaped: an inheritance often passed 
 to til fee or four generations in as 
 many days. The sext«n$ were not
 
 Interesting Narraiives^ Enigmas^ Epigrams, Poetry^ Sfc. 507 
 
 sufficient to bury the dead ; the belis 
 incessantly tolled ; the burying places 
 would not contain the dead ; and i! 
 frequeiitly happened, tiiat those whd 
 atteQ<!eel the funeral of their friend? 
 one evening, were carried the next to 
 their grave. Barbarities unknown at 
 oUier times, were practised now. — 
 Children left their parents in the 
 greatest distress, and parents did th* 
 same by their children : even some 
 mothers, distracted by the distemper, 
 lulled tlieir children. A dismal soli- 
 tude was in London ! A solemn si- 
 lence in almost every place, shops 
 shut up, the people rare, lew walking; 
 and grass growing in several |)laces. 
 The great street in Whilechapel more 
 like a green (ield, than a paved street: 
 In Leadenhall - street, Bishopsgate- 
 street, Cheapside, Cornhiil, and even 
 in the Royal-Exchange grass grew. 
 No cart, except a few country carts, 
 nor coach, except those which carried 
 the infected to hospitals, or the pest- 
 bouse; were to be seen. So great 
 was the fury of the contagion, people 
 sickened so fast and died so soon, that 
 it was to no purpose to inquire who 
 was sick, or to shut up the infected 
 with the former exactness, which was 
 found nnt to produce a public good, 
 proportionable to the grievous burden 
 it was to particular families. In short, 
 it was not in the power of the magis- 
 trates, or any human means or po- 
 licy, to prevent the spreading of the 
 infection. 
 
 Many merchantmen and ship-ov\-n- 
 ers lived close shut up on ship-board. 
 Several- hundred sail of ships lay in 
 the river from Ratcliffe to Rother- 
 hithe as far as Gravestnd, and even 
 beyond it, where they could ride with 
 safety from wind and weather. These 
 did not however escape the infection, 
 owing to visitors from the shore. The 
 plague however reached nut any of 
 the shipping below Deptford. Tiie 
 p(»orer sort went into hoys, lighters, 
 &c, the plagae got amongst tlitse and 
 
 made a fearful havock. The water- 
 men above bridge conveyed them- 
 selves with their families up the river 
 in their boats, and were relieved by 
 the gentry and country, but uot re- 
 ceived into the towns or houses for 
 fear (»f the intbctfon. Self-preserva- 
 tion mads this severity necessary. 
 
 The inhabitants of both sides the 
 river, and almost all Southwajk side, 
 looked upon themselves to be safe 
 from the ariicles of their trade, con- 
 sisting of tar, pitch, brimstone, &c. 
 They found themselves however mis- 
 taken, and the calamity was to ihem 
 more severe and dreadful, because it 
 was unexpected, and they were not 
 provided for it. Many of those wan- 
 dered over the Surry kide, and were 
 found starved to death in woods and 
 on commons, the country people re- 
 fused assistance, to avoid Cxitching Ihe 
 infection. The inhabitants of the 
 towns adjacent to London, relieved 
 the poor in their distress, where there 
 was no apparent danger to themselves. 
 To the afflicted they acted with inhu- 
 manity, locking them up in houses, 
 debarring them of things necessary, 
 and the liberty of the air, even im- 
 prisoning them. The infected were 
 left comfortless, and to die destitute 
 of all help in this world ; and those 
 smitten by the way were sutlered to 
 die in ditches, or drawn to a hole 
 like dogs, for fear their carcasses 
 should infect the air. 
 
 The country justices kept ba.ck the 
 people from bringing provisions to the 
 London markets, by declaring, that 
 such who went, should, upon tJieir re- 
 turn, be shut up fourteen days: and 
 yet, maugre all the caution, there was 
 not a town within twenty miles of 
 London, that was not more or less 
 infected. 
 
 In the month of September a de- 
 crease of the plague was hoped for, 
 because of the season of the year, ih« 
 iiumber already dead and retired : 
 but it Was uot yet at its lieiL'hf, fof 
 312
 
 50S Literary Cifriosltf'es, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 from 6l0'2 it was augmented to 6988 
 To divert ihe contagion, firts were 
 ordered by tiie lord nusyur to bt 
 iiihdo, for three days togeti.cr, through 
 all the streets and oj»en places o< 
 LoDiioii, and tlie liberties tliertof, 
 which did not produce the dtsirtd 
 cfi'ect of purging and purifying the air; 
 on the contrary the trial proved fatal, 
 for there died in one ni^ht foilowinj; 
 Do itss than 4000. Every means used 
 to decrease, seemed rather to increase 
 it, whirh frighfeiied and terrified the 
 peopie to the last degree of despair. 
 
 Some liUle hopes were conceived 
 Ly the next week's abatement to GS^^. 
 But these hopes vanished in the suc- 
 ceeding week, the hill rising to 710.5. 
 Of the hundred parishes in and about 
 the city, souie eay four, others say 
 one, St. John tiie Evangelist, escaped. 
 The distemper came to its height 
 about the lOtli of September, when 
 more than 12,000 died within a week. 
 A dreadful bid this! In Aldgate pa- 
 rish they buried one thousand a week 
 for two weeks, Wliitechapel parish 
 was iu the same deplorable condition, 
 Death reigned in every (juarter; 
 whole families, whole s'rtiets were 
 swept away togetlier. What added 
 to the calamity, was, thrit piiysicians 
 cared not to visit the sick, (the most 
 emineiit of whom being now dead) all 
 remedies applied having proved use- 
 less. It was computed that there 
 died not less than from i500 to 170O 
 a day for a month together, and with- 
 in five weeks almost 40,000. A dis- 
 rnal time this! The dibtemper sn 
 much increased, that no bells were 
 tolled, no collins made, the coura};e 
 of those who buried the dead failed, 
 no hcuses shut up, the people aban- 
 doned themselves to despair, they sat 
 staring and looking at one another, 
 t'xpetting nothir.g less than universal 
 destruction, and at si time too, when 
 the city thought the bitterness of 
 8eath was past. In the rage of the 
 distemper so^e were driven todis- 
 
 tiaction, and others to kill tliem- 
 .'lelves ; some <iying of mere grief, 
 oihers of surpri.7e witlout any infec- 
 tion ; sonie irigiiU i.ed into idiolisnj, 
 others into desjiair, and many into 
 tnelanciioly mndness, and several 
 drowntd theniselves in the Thames, 
 and Hackney River. What an;: merit- 
 ed the confusion was, that the infec- 
 tion was oflen comnuuncaled by per- 
 sons' apparently well. Kence, the 
 [leople grew jealous of one another, 
 and conversed, especially with stran- 
 gers, at a distance, not coming within 
 reach of their breath c-r any smell 
 from them. The churches before 
 much crowded, were on this account 
 less frequented. There was no walk- 
 ing the streets without beholding 
 many dismal scenes, persons falling 
 • lead, some running about, and offer- 
 ing, like mad d<^gs, all kinds of vio- 
 lence to pers<.ns they met ; and others 
 in the mofrt piteous lamentations, call- 
 ing for ministers to conifort them ; 
 some crjing for mercy to God, and 
 others confessing their sins. It would 
 shock the human soul to give the 
 baibarous catalogue of those poor 
 wretches, who most miserably perish- 
 ed in fields, in ditches, in common 
 cages, and under stalls, being thrust 
 out of doors by cruel masters, or 
 wanting all worldly succour but the 
 common benefit of earth and air; 
 which barbarities proved the death of 
 thousands. One of the most deplora- 
 ble cases in this calamity, was that of 
 women with child, who could have no 
 help from professed midwivcs; the 
 consequences of which were, the child 
 was murdered iiiM\ the mother lost. 
 So scarce were midwives tmd nurses, 
 that a tradesman tvhose wife was in- 
 fected, was con)pelled to do the office 
 i.imseFf: he brought the child into the 
 world dead ; she expired within his 
 iirnis about an hour after, and he in 
 a itw hours also, overwhelmed with 
 grief. So great was the mortality, 
 that in so-me places, as in Moses aud
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Eni(/nws, Epigrams^ Poetri/^ S,-e. 509 
 
 Aaro!i-AHey, Whitecliapel, there wns 
 no one left to give notice to lie stxton 
 of the dead ; on which ;\ccount tl'e 
 vork of removing bodies h'canie odi- 
 ous and dangerous, for ininnnerabU" 
 of the bearers died, beinij infected b\ 
 the bodies they removed. Tlie excel- 
 lent order of the magistrates for clear 
 ing the streets of dead bodies cou^il 
 not, from the niultitnde carried off, 
 be observed. The poor, hnwever, 
 from necessity, had cotir;tge and \vi!- 
 liniiness to enter upon any liazardoui 
 employuient ; \*hich at this time was 
 very providential, otherwise the dead 
 must have lain above ground, and the 
 sick wanted nurses : Their motto 
 was, " Starve or Die." 
 
 His majesty having removed from 
 Salisbury, arrived at Oxford on the 
 •28th of Seplen)ber, when the gravs^ 
 opened its mouth without measure ! 
 INluititudes throt)giu2; into eternitv ! 
 No graves nor pits sufticient to contiiM 
 the dead bodies. In AlHr^ate parish 
 they dug a terrible pit, forty feet in 
 length, sixteen in breadth, an^ twenty 
 in depth. Wonderful as tlds pit was, 
 in two weeks they buried in it 1114 
 bodies- Several parishes were obliged 
 to have new burying grounds their 
 parishioners died so fast, which after- 
 wards were built upon. Strict orders 
 were given to prevent people from 
 coming to the pits, for fear of the 
 infection, notwithstanding many in- 
 fected came, who were delirious, and 
 threw themselves in aliv'e. 
 
 The contagion now spread into the 
 neighbouring counties, by citizens 
 who brought the infection with them, 
 and carried death where they went 
 for safety; so that through ihtm, al- 
 most all the great to\vns in England 
 bad the distemper. Those on the 
 Thames were severely handled. 
 
 The parliament met at Oxford on 
 the 9lh of October, when the king in 
 bis speech said, that the contagion had 
 spread itself over many parts of the 
 kingdom. Though the city was almost 
 
 totally abandoned bv the rich, the 
 poor and miserable had many fiiouds. 
 The kiiif; gave oi.e thousand pounds 
 per WTck towards ihcir relief; the 
 fliikf of Alhemarle, who continued at 
 Whiteltal!, relieved numiiers of the 
 ilibtre.'ised ; Slu-hion, Hrchbishop of 
 Canterbury, did the same, who nnist 
 otherwise perished in ihei'r necessities; 
 and by his letters tp the bishops of 
 his province, procured large stuns. 
 Willium, earl of Craven, ventured his 
 person also amidst the infected, pro- 
 vided them with physicians and 
 nurses, and necessaries out of his own 
 purse. The absent citizens contri- 
 buted liberally; large sums were col- 
 lected in the trading towns, and by 
 the nobility and gvntry, which were 
 sent to the lord mayor. It is said 
 I hat his lordship distributed not less 
 than one bundled thousand pounds 
 per week, which was over and abovt* 
 the private charities. In the parish 
 of Cripplegate alone was distributed 
 l7>S00i. to the poor in one week. 
 Almost incredible ! 
 
 Had the contagion continued a few 
 weeks Ioniser, not an inhabitant in 
 town would have been left alive ; fear, 
 despair and death sat in every face 
 and countenance. There was hardly 
 a house in any neighbourhood not 
 infected. It is incredible what ha- 
 vock the last thiee weeks bad made ; 
 not less than 30,000 dead and 1 00,000 
 sick. In that moment, when every 
 one acknowledged, that vain w^as the 
 help ot man, God caused his fury to 
 abate, the malignity declined, and the 
 bill decreased by ISSi. What joy 
 and greetings in the streets did this 
 change occasion ! ^Vhat praises and 
 thanksgivings to God ! They were 
 now almo'^t as e.xtravagant in the ex- 
 cess of joy, as before from grief.-— 
 The physicians ^-ere surprised ; their 
 patients grew better ; good symptoms 
 appeared, not the effect of medicines, 
 l)Ut the act of an extraordinary Pro- 
 vidence, human help and human skill
 
 5|lOi , IJfcran/ Curiosities, ^jntapks;, Wonderfid Eventc, 
 
 h^vinc^-bt?en found useless. The streets 
 em[)ty\hcfor«', were muchjifqueritecf, 
 even by such who were 'not qiii?(5T?c"- 
 covere<!, of whom no one ivas 'Ju n 
 ofraii!, thoui;h (wo days befoia h^ 
 shunned, he; fled fronV their' sight. 
 In the last week of Septt'Uibei thi 
 plague wa'^ at its ciisis, anc' its luaiig- 
 iiiiy abated. From 7 153 it decreased 
 to 5538; and itie next to 40'?^; the 
 next to 4327 ; t^e ii.ext to 2()65 ; tin 
 next to 14- '21 ; and the oextto 103i 
 Many conti: ued inlectcd, and caught 
 the infection, but few died. In the 
 height of the disease, it usuailyjkilled 
 one in five within two or three days, 
 now not above two in five in 
 eight or ten days. Out of 60,000 in- 
 fected, near forty thousand recovered 
 This considerable abatement in the 
 bills threw the people ofl their guard ; 
 they gave up all their caution and 
 care, they opened their shops, did 
 business, mixed and converged with 
 any body who came in their way, 
 Avilhoul reserve, without inquiry, 
 without appreliension of danger, in- 
 fectious or not, thinking they should 
 escape the sickne-ss, or, if not, they 
 should not die. The consequence of 
 tliis impru<lent conduct was the death 
 of many, who had hitherto been free. 
 The decrease proved fatal to many 
 also, who had retired into the coun- 
 try, by their precipitate return (o 
 town, who were anxious, after so long 
 an absencejto revisit their habitations 
 and see whom of their fiiends, rela- 
 tions, and acquaintance the calamity 
 had spaied, imagining the danger to 
 be over, which increased the 'bill in 
 the first week'of November 400. 
 
 In the beginning of this month thf 
 people grew more healthy, the dread 
 and terror upon their minds went off, 
 and the sick chcarfuHy used all means 
 tried for their recovery. In the se- 
 cond week of this month the bill de- 
 crea.sed to 1050; the next to 652; 
 the next to 333 ; and continued de- 
 creasing lo the end of the } ear. The 
 
 several courts, by adjouriijnent, sat 
 at Oxford the 18lh. The plague now 
 gradually tlecreased, as it had before 
 increased. Whatever is fierce and 
 deadly in its fir^^t attack, jsoon ceases. 
 r\'« now died but through mis- 
 management. 
 
 ■There were some returns of tlie 
 distemper in the month of Decomber, 
 by the increase of a hundred ; but the 
 contajiion being exhausted, went off 
 through the sharp frosts, which in- 
 creasing inost of the sick recovered, 
 and the health of the city restored. 
 The people now returned as fast as 
 I hey had before fled ; houses, before 
 lull of dead, were now inhabited by 
 the living; shops were opened, trade 
 carried on, and though the contagion 
 had carried olf an hundred t,housand, 
 the loss, after a few months, was 
 hardly discernable: a stranger could 
 not miss the number lost, for fevtr 
 empty houses were to be seen. A 
 mad enthusiast alarmed the people 
 by prophecyingevil tidings continual- 
 ly. He proved, however, to be a 
 Idlse prophet, for in the month of 
 February, the distemper ceased, and 
 the people were not to be frightened. 
 The people came to town precipitate- 
 ly; the. men of business leisurely ; 
 the rich confidently ; the Citurt at 
 Christmas. 
 
 Though the health of the city was 
 repaired, foreigners would not trade 
 with us, nor admit our ships into 
 iheir ports for many months. At 
 the end of the year the bill of mor- 
 tality was 97,306 ; of which 6&,b9^ 
 were supposed to have died of the 
 plague. Some writers suppose, and 
 with good reason, that the number 
 was considerably more, not less than 
 100,000. In such a general distress 
 it was impossible to be exact ; clerks 
 and sextons frequently tiled before 
 they could give in their reports ; th« 
 carts knew not the numbers they 
 contained ; Quakers and Jews had 
 separate burying-places, whose dead
 
 
 Interesting Nay'y{ttives:^^niqpi0l'Mif}ifjrams, Poefnj.S^c. ,511 
 
 were not registered in the weekly 
 bills; and no account was taken ot 
 those who died oh board vessels la tlie 
 river. Many perished, unnoticed, b\ 
 want, by sword, by (iie, by water. 
 Upon a nice calculation it is said, 
 that a sixth-part of the inhabitants 
 died. 
 
 The receipt of his majesty's px • 
 chequer returned te Westminster the 
 5th of January, and bis majesty to 
 Hampton Court on the 27th; from 
 whence, the sickness decreasing (fifty 
 only having died the week, before) 
 he remaved to Whitehall the first of 
 February, to the infinite joy of the 
 whole, joy whick manifested itself 
 by bells and bonfires. On February 
 the 2d, the lord mayor, 6cc. waited 
 upon him with a congratulatory ad- 
 dress. In the spring some remains 
 of the contagion appeared, which 
 however, were easily conquered. 
 
 Whilst the phi?,ue raged, the trad- 
 ing nations, France, Spain, Naples, 
 P.<)rtugal, Holland ai\d Italy, v.ould 
 admit neither our manufactures nor 
 ships into their ports, the accounts 
 they received being so terrible; though 
 the merchandizing part of the city 
 ■ nd water-.'-ide were perfectly sound 
 until the beginning of July, and the 
 ships in the river uutil August. Of this 
 disaster the Flemings and Dutch made 
 con-iiderable advantage, for they pur- 
 ehased our manufactures from towns 
 not infected, and transported them 
 to Spain and Itnly. Noiwithstanding 
 the violence of the plague, the uut- 
 ports for some time enjoyed a very 
 great trade to the neighbouring coun- 
 tries, our plantations, Spain, &c. 
 Two particular trades were carried 
 on greatly to the csmfort and benefit 
 of the poor, with little or no intor- 
 fuptinn, the coasting trade for com, 
 and the Newcastle trade for coals ; 
 aKo a good trade from Sutfo'k, wnh 
 corn, butter, and cheese, which was 
 owing to the piuilence and co'iducl 
 of ihe lord mayor. Corn and fruit, 
 
 sai^^-and .;flr.%h,- butter and cheese, 
 jgHftl und_feasonably cheap during 
 "jpTfness. ■ • The fire that foll-jwed 
 dissirwt^d every fear of a return ; and 
 by its, destruction of a prodigious 
 quantify of goods and merchandize, 
 engaged the hands of all the poor, who 
 were bt-fore gr<'atly distressed for 
 want of employment. 
 
 Mij Wife andth'^Pair of Shoes. 
 
 A FELLOW, famous from his birth, 
 For witty tricks, sir, and for mirth, 
 Once roam'd about a country fair. 
 And carry'd iu his hand a pair 
 
 Of shoes ; 
 That they were waf er-pno«»f he swore, 
 Aad never ouce had they beca wore 
 
 Upon the toes. 
 From what he said ther? w-a* no doubt 
 
 But (hat the shoes were very good ; 
 Indeed be swore they'd ne'er wear out, 
 
 Let them be trod in how they would. 
 To hear this -"dilow talk and joke, 
 
 A sfapins: crowd soon gatber'd round him^ 
 Swallowing the very words he spoke. 
 
 For nona with qusstions could coafound 
 him, 
 " Gemmeii," says hp, " I carry here 
 
 *' A pair of shoes for him to wear 
 
 " Who will upon the gospel swear 
 " Kis iawful wife he does not fear," 
 Conscience, that fierce di-farming pow'r, 
 -Made many of them turn quite sour, 
 As if the de'i! possess'd (hem; 
 Indeed there was not one (hat could 
 Swear evea by hisiiesh and blood 
 
 His rib, sir, had not dress'd him. 
 Again the shoe- the ftilow wav'd in air, 
 Biii all was diiiappnintment and despair, 
 
 Siorae time elaps'd — at length a clowa 
 appsar'd 
 
 Who said he nothing fear'd; 
 " Nothing." the fellow cried, " you have a 
 
 '• wife?" 
 '' I baVe, and love her as ray life ; 
 ■' She's coiusiy, sprightly, dresses tight and 
 
 *' clean, 
 " .\nd, Eooks,I think the very shoes I've seen 
 
 « Will lit 
 
 '< Her feet." 
 " You're snre," the wag repHed, " you're 
 
 " speaking (r:itli '" 
 " Upon my soul I an't afeard of Ruth '' 
 The bumpkin cried, and with a fro.va 
 Off^-r'd (o .'lack his answer with a crown. 
 " Then swear ii," quoth the wag, " upon 
 
 " this book ;" 
 John doll 'il his hat, and straight the cUk 
 be touk;
 
 512 Litsrari/ Curios tfie.9, Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events, 
 
 And then, with simp'ring jaws, and goggle 
 
 «jes, 
 He scraJcli'.d his mopsy-head, and claiin'd 
 
 the prize. 
 «' Take thou tlie slioes," the wag replied 
 
 anon, 
 *< For tfeou dont f ertaisiy deserve lhe!n,Johu 
 
 " But to preserve them, 
 <' Let nse advise yoa thus you fake 
 ^' Of bJackicg, John, this patent cake, 
 ♦< And frequently, and freely use 
 *' i'he liquid il v.iil inslisi. about Uw shoes." 
 
 " Odds rabbit it !" tbp bumpkin said, 
 Look'd at his bran-spaa coat, and scratch'd 
 
 his head. 
 *•' Why, what's the matter ?" gravely ask'd 
 
 the wag : 
 <' Why now I think on't, if Itakethehlack- 
 
 " ing, 
 *' And hap to dirt my pocket with the same;" 
 <' Wfiaithen? friend John." — "Odds clouts, 
 
 " my dame 
 '<Wonld give me what she calls a trftflcArm^," 
 John now becomes the public butt — the 
 
 wag, 
 Popping the shoes into a bag, 
 
 Rxclaim'd. 
 " Go home,andlet thy courage be reclaim'd, 
 •' And learn from me, my friend, it is my 
 
 " plan, 
 " That any man, 
 *' Whether he lives in poverty or riches, 
 " Before be puts these shoes upon hjsfeet, 
 <• Shall wear, what makes the married mem 
 
 " complete. 
 «' The breeches.'* 
 
 The Grumhlcr. 
 COREDS unmarried grumbled for a wife; 
 Married, he grumbles still, and lives .in 
 
 strife : 
 A child is wanting; Heaven the blessing 
 
 sent ; 
 Yet still he grumbles, still is discontent. 
 Why, wh.Tf's the matter, Coreus ? worse 
 
 and worse ! 
 The seeming blessing's turn'd into a curse: 
 The rnirse and midwife drain my pockets 
 
 dry ; 
 I've nought to keep the boy with by and 
 
 A pnrse he finds; yet now, as heretofore, 
 ile grumbles on, " Had it been so mnch 
 
 '' more, 
 " I might iiave left off labour, liv'd in 
 
 " peace; 
 *' But so it happens, all my swans are 
 
 " geese." 
 He sickens ; now he grumbles without 
 
 donbt : 
 " When will my health return? my mo- 
 
 '' ney 's out." 
 Death came and struck him ; at one fatal 
 
 blow 
 Hec9ut hiffl grumbling to the sbade« ^low. 
 
 ExtrHordinary Sensations, 
 
 HENRY III of France could not 
 bear to be alone in a chamber where 
 tiere was a cat. The brave due 
 d'Epernon feli into a swoon at the 
 sifjht of a rabbit. The niareschal 
 Albert was always taken ill upon the 
 briugiiij; of a piji; to the table. Ladi- 
 siaus, kiii<^ of Poland, be;:;an to run 
 as often as he perceived an «pple. 
 Erasmus could not smell fish without 
 heconMiigTtverish. Scaliger was seized 
 by a tremor at the sight of water- 
 creases. Tycho Brahe could scarcely 
 support himself on his legs if a hare 
 or fox happened to start up where he 
 was. Every eclipse of the moon threw 
 the chancellor Racon into a fainting 
 fit. Ro}le was seized with an extacy 
 at the sound of water running from a 
 pipe. La Mothe le Vayer could not 
 endure the notes of any musical in- 
 struments, but felt the nfost lively 
 pleasure whenever it thundered. An 
 English matt fainted away as often as 
 he heard the fifty-third chapter of 
 Isaiah. 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 A BLIND man having buried five 
 hundred pounds in a corner of his 
 gardrn, was robbed of them by a 
 neighbour who saw him at work. — • 
 Suspecting who l»ad stolen his treastire 
 l»e went to him, and asked iiis ad- 
 vice in the most friendly way, con- 
 cerning a bag with a thousand dinars, 
 which he said he had by him, and 
 would gladly know his opinion about 
 the disposal of them, " I have at 
 present," said he, "five hundred dinars 
 in a certain part of my garden, and I 
 believe I shall decide upon putting 
 this there likewise." His neighbour 
 hearing this, took the first opportuni- 
 ty of replacing the five hundred dinars, 
 in hopes of being able soon to draw 
 out double the sum ; but the blind 
 man having attained his end, put it 
 out of his power to make a secood 
 attempt.
 
 Interesthiff Narratives, Enigmas, Epiffraim, Poetry, ^c. 51S 
 
 jiidheniic Anrcdote of the Earl of 
 E . 
 
 SIR. C- 
 
 ~-, assum-ng the. name 
 
 of Jones, so!ne jears sjnce purchased 
 a small piece of b.n>i, and (iuilt on it 
 a neat hou^e on the edge ol a common 
 in Wiltshire; here he long resideii, 
 unhnowiij-;, an^ almost unknown by 
 the neighbourhood. Various conjec- 
 tures were formed respecting this soli- 
 tary and singular stranger ; at length 
 a clergyman took some notice of him, 
 and occasionally inviting him to his 
 house, he found him possessed of in- 
 telligence and manners, which evi- 
 dentJ)' indicated his origin to have 
 been in the higher s-tiUions of life. 
 Returning one day from 'a visit at this 
 clergyniiui's, he passed the hou'-e of a 
 farmer, at the door of which was the 
 daughter employed at the washing- 
 tub. He looked at the girl a moment, 
 and thus accosted hef : — " INIy girl, 
 ■would you like to be married i" 
 " Sir !" exclaimed the girl. " I asked 
 you young woman whether yon would 
 wish to be married; because if sou 
 would, I win marry you." *' Lord, 
 sir ! these are strange questions from 
 a man I never saw in my life before." 
 "Very likely," replied Mr. Jones; 
 " but however, lam serious, and will 
 leave you until ten o'clock lo-morrovv 
 to consider of it: I will then call on 
 you again, and if 1 have your and 
 your father's consent, we will be mar- 
 ried the following day." He kept his 
 appointment, and meeting with the 
 father, he thus addressed him ; " Sir, 
 I have s.een your daughtiM ; I should 
 like her for a wife : an>l 1 am come to 
 ask vour consent." " I'liis proposal," 
 answered the old man, "is very e.\tra- 
 ordinary from a perfect stranger ; 
 pray, sir, who are you ? and what 
 are you I" « Sir," 'replied Mr. J, 
 you have a great right to a^k these 
 questions ; my nauK; is Jone-, the 
 new hoiise on the edge of she common 
 is mine ; and, if it be necessary, 1 
 
 can purchase your house and farm, 
 and half the neiahbourhood," 
 
 Anothei houi's conversation brought 
 all parties iiito one mind, and tha 
 f iendiy clergyman aforerncntionetl 
 united the happy pair. Three or 
 font years they lived in this retiremei.t 
 and were blessed with two children. 
 Mr. J. employed great part of his 
 time in improving his wife's mind, 
 but rrever- disclosed his origm. At 
 length, upon taking a journey of 
 pleasure with her, while remarking 
 the beauties of the country, he no- 
 ticed and named the JiiTerent gentle- 
 men's seits as they pas-ed ; and com- 
 ing to a very magnificent one, " This, 
 
 my dear," said he, " is B • 
 
 hnnse, the seat of the earl of E, 
 and, if you ploase, we will go in and 
 ask leave to lr;ok at it, it is an elegant 
 house, and will probably amuse you." 
 The nobleman who possessed this 
 mansion is lately dead : he once had 
 a nephew, who, in the gaities of his 
 youth, had incurred some debts, oa 
 acrnunt of which he retired from 
 fasbionnljle life en about 200/ p^r 
 annum, nnd has not been heard nf for 
 some yeiirs. This nephew was the 
 identical Mr. Jones, the lero of our 
 story, who now took possession of the 
 house, title, and estate. 
 
 Si7igid(rr Texts. 
 
 DOCTOR Rond, in a. sermon 
 preached at St. Andrew's churcn, 
 Edinburgh, chose a very singular text, 
 and, considering the times, a te\i wot 
 prec'iHely applicable to the place and 
 period — " They helped every one his 
 ncipjibonr, and every one said to his 
 brolhc, be of good couiage; there 
 is no danger." When, some years 
 since, a reverend gentlemen preaclied 
 a seimon at Rolheihiihe, belure ihe 
 society for the relief of persons appa- 
 rently drowned, his text was c(]uany 
 ingcsnous. — " Trouble not youisclf 
 about him the man is not dvad!" 
 3 a
 
 514 Literary Cifriosities, Epitaphs, Wenderful Events, 
 
 I 
 
 Enigmatical List of Plays. 
 
 PART of the devil's emplovment, 
 and half a canonical book or ihe Old 
 Testament. 
 
 The supreme magistrate, and four- 
 fifths to acquire knowledge. 
 
 A domeftic artimal, and a vowel. 
 
 The reverse of poor, and ihree- 
 fjfihs of ea<reiiic3s. 
 
 One-haU ola church, and a plague. 
 To punish (Hit of resentment. 
 
 Thin, changing a letter. 
 
 The christian name of a wonoan, 
 and what sailors wish for. 
 
 The reverse of wild, a consonant, 
 and a narrow place. 
 
 Two-sixths of a great personage, 
 and a part of the human frame, ex- 
 punging a letter. 
 
 A game at cards, and four-sixths 
 of a division in music. 
 
 Unhappy parent. 
 
 Half the Latin word for time, and 
 a disaster. 
 
 Two-eighths of a rolling stone, and 
 the Latin for country. 
 
 An ancient philosopher, a conso- 
 nant, and two vowels. 
 
 The reverse of brown, and what 
 all people should be after committing 
 crimes. 
 
 The Speech of Oliver Croinwell, when 
 he dissolved the Lovg Parliament, 
 ihe QOfh of AprU, \G5i: after 
 sitting Twelve Years, Six Months, 
 and Fourteen Days. 
 
 IT is high time for me to put an 
 end to your sitting in lhi« place, which 
 you have dishonoured by your con- 
 tempt of all virtue, and defiled by 
 your practice of every vice. Ye are 
 a factious crew, and enemies to all 
 good {lovcrnment. Ye are n pack of 
 mercenary wretches; and wcfuld, like 
 Esau, sell your country for a mess of 
 pottage, and, like Judas, betxayyour 
 €Jod for a few pieces of money. Js 
 lliere a single virtue now remaining 
 anjongst yt»u ? Ls there one vice you 
 do not possess? Y<hi have no more 
 religion than my horse; gold is your 
 
 God : which of you have not bartered 
 away your conscience for bribes? Is 
 there a man amongst you that has the 
 least care for the good of the com- 
 monwealth ? Ye sordid prostitutes! 
 have ye not defiled this sacred place, 
 and turned the Lord's temple into a 
 den of thieves, by your immoral prin- 
 ciples and wicked practices ? You, 
 who were deputed here by the people 
 to get grievances redressed, are your- 
 selves become the greatest grievance. 
 Your country, therefore, calls upon 
 me to cleanse this augean stable, by 
 putting a final period to your iniqui- 
 tous proceedings in this house ; and 
 which, byGod's help, and the streogtn 
 he has given me, I am now come to ^. 
 do. I command you, therefore, upon l| 
 the peril of your lives, to depart, ■' 
 immediately, out of this place — Go! 
 get ye out; make haste: Ye venai 
 slaves, be gono! So! takeaway that 
 shining bauble (the mace) there, and 
 lock lip the doors. 
 
 Kamtschadales' Hospitality. 
 
 FOlliSlERLY, as a mark of respect 
 to a guest, the host set before him as 
 much food as would serve ten people. 
 Both were stripped naked, the host 
 politely touched nothing, but com- 
 pelled his friend to devour what was set 
 before him, till he was qaite gorged, 
 and at the same time heated the place, 
 by incessantly pouriBg water on hot 
 stones till it became insupportable. 
 
 When the guest was crammed up to 
 the throat, the generous landlord, on 
 his knees, stufi'ed into his mouth a 
 great slice of whale's fat, cut off what 
 hung out, and cried in a surly tone. 
 Tana, or there, by which he fully 
 dibchargeil his duty ; and between 
 heat and cramming, obliged thy poor 
 nucst to crj for mercy, and a release 
 isoxn the heat, and the danger of being 
 choked with the noble welcome; 
 oftentimes he was obliged to purchase 
 his dismission with most costly pre- 
 sents, but was sure to retaliate on tks 
 first opportuiiity.
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, S^c. 515 
 
 The Origin of Language. 
 
 IF we suppose a period before anv 
 words were invented or known, it is 
 clear that men could have no other me- 
 thod of comniunicalin},' to others what 
 they felt, than by the cries of passion, 
 accompanied with such motions and 
 gestures as were further expressive of 
 passion ; for lliese are the only signs 
 which nature teaches to all men, and 
 wiiidi are understood by all. One 
 who saw another £;oing into some place 
 where he himself had been frightened 
 or exposed to danger, and who sought 
 to warn his neighbour of the danger, 
 could contrive no other way of doing 
 so than by uttering those cries, an(l 
 making these gestures, which are the 
 signs of fear; just as two men at this 
 day would endeavour to make them- 
 selves understood by each other, who 
 should be thrown together on a deso- 
 late island, ignorant of each other's 
 language. Tho.'^e exclamations there- 
 fore, which by grammarians are called 
 interjections, uttered in a strong and 
 passionate manner, were beyond 
 doubt the first elements or beginnings 
 of speech. 
 
 Interjeetions wonld be followed by 
 names of objects, or nouns ; these by 
 names of actions, or verbs; these by 
 qualities of nouns and actions, as ad- 
 jectives and adverbs ; and these would 
 be successively followed by preposi- 
 tions, pronouns, articles, and con- 
 junctions. 
 
 Wlien more enlarged coniraunica- 
 tiori became necessary, and names be- 
 gan t© be assigned to objects, in what 
 manner can we suppose men to have 
 proceeded in this assignation of names, 
 or invention of words ? Undoubtedly 
 by imitating, as much as they could, 
 the nature of the object wliich they 
 uatned, by the sound of the name 
 which they gave to it. 
 
 Wherever objects were to be named, 
 in such sound, noise, or motion were 
 coircerucd. Ike iiuitation by words was 
 
 abundantly obvious. Nothing was 
 more natural than to imitate, bv the 
 sound of the voice, the quality of the 
 sound or noise which any external ob- 
 ject made, and to form its name ac- 
 cordingly. 1 hus in all languages we 
 find a multitude of words that are 
 evidently constructed upon this princi- 
 ple. A certain bird is termed the 
 cuckoo, from the sound v. hich it emits. 
 When one sort of wind is said to tekis- 
 tie, and another to roflr ; when a ser- 
 pent is said to hiss, a fly to buzz, and 
 falling timber to crash ; when a stream 
 is said to Jlow, and hail to rattle : the 
 analogy between the word and the 
 thing signified is plainly discernible. 
 
 On tire JSature of the Tides. 
 
 THE tides of the sea have ever 
 been considered among the most won- 
 derful phaenomena of nature. The 
 conjectures of ancient philosophers 
 concerning them were equally various, 
 visionary, and wild. But the moderns 
 have discovered, that the phe- 
 nomena of the tides are to be account- 
 ed for upon the principle of gravita- 
 tion. Sir Isaac Newton was the first 
 who clearly pointed out the cause of 
 I he phaenomenoo, and demonstrated 
 its agreement with its efiecls. 
 
 The waters of the ocean are ob- 
 served to fiow for certain hours, from 
 the south towards the north ; in which 
 motion or flux, which lasts about six 
 hours, the sea gradually swells; so 
 that, entering the moutlis of rivers, it 
 drives them back toward their heads. 
 
 After a continual flux of six hours, 
 the sea seems to reit for a quaiter of 
 an hour ; it then begins to flow as be- 
 fore ; and thus it has alternately risen 
 iiud fallen twice a day since the crea- 
 tion. 
 
 The moon, by its povt^er of attraction 
 in each diurnal revolution, pro- 
 duces two tides ; the one raised imme- 
 diately under the sphere of its influ- 
 ence, and the other diiectly opposite 
 3 u 2
 
 516 LHeranf CvrhifHks. Epitaphs, Woudcrfvl Evey)ts, 
 
 to h. However, \i\ this great «ark 
 of riii'iHio the tidf.K, \h« sun has no 
 wnall sh^re ; ii pioiujces its owaticif?, 
 oiistiMJtiy eveij day, just as the mof)i) 
 does, but ina inucu less tiegree, be- 
 cause the sua is at an iimuense'y 
 greater distance. Thus there are so- 
 LiT tides and lunar tides, When the 
 forces vof thf SI! ^reat hinvinarios con- 
 cur, which thev always di> w hfn they 
 are eitht r i.i tise sunx' or in ojijuisile 
 puts of the heawKiis, they jointly pro- 
 duce 'i niHc!) greater tide th.an when 
 they are so situattd in the heavens, as 
 for esch to make a pccnhar tide of ii? 
 own. It is by the .iKraction of the 
 sun consiiiriug witli tlie attractimi of 
 tiie moon, tluu the hiuh tides, cidled 
 sprini^ tirfes, are ornied ; but in the 
 qnddiatnres of the nuxn;, the water 
 riiiht.d by the one is depressed by the 
 other; I'.ud hence the lowest or neap 
 tides have their prcKluction. 
 
 But MJ every part of the sea near 
 the shores, the geopiraplier must eonu 
 in to correct the c;dcuhitio!!s of the 
 astronomer ; fur the shallownes.^ of 
 sonie places, aini tiie nairowness of 
 the straits in others, cause a j^reat di- 
 versity in the etlect, not to be account- 
 ed for without ati exact knowledge of 
 the place. In tiie great depth? of the 
 ocean, for instance, a \oiy slow and 
 imperceptible motion of the whole 
 l)0(iy of w\.ier will suMice to rnise its 
 surface several feet high; but if the 
 same increase of water wtie to lie 
 conveycv! through a narrow chanui ), 
 it must necess*ti;ily rush with inijetn- 
 ons rapidity. Thus in the Englisli 
 channel, ar-d the German ocean, the 
 tide is found to flow j;'rojigcst in llose 
 places that are narrowest ; i1m? same 
 cpikintity of waf • ? being driven through 
 ^ snu\]Ier passage. 
 
 Imjwrtanceof a misplaced Comma. 
 ADAZING as it may seetn, it is 
 certi'Tly a fact, that the unfortunate 
 King Edward the Second, lost his life 
 
 by the means of a misplaced wviiima. 
 
 For the cruel qtieen, witii whom he 
 
 was::t varfc»r.ce, sent to the iteej)cr of 
 
 the piison in whicii be was confined, 
 
 (he ii'llowirig lines — 
 
 " To sbcMl Iving Edward's tilood 
 Refuse to fear, t coout it g;ot)d.'' 
 
 Had the comnni been placed after the 
 
 word refuse, thus — 
 
 " To shed ICing Edvi-ard's blood 
 KeiiiM.'," 
 
 the sense wouhl hnvc implied that ihe 
 keeper was commanded not to fimt 
 the kiiig — and the remaining line — 
 
 " To fear I ennnt it good." 
 would have sipnified that it was count- 
 ed good not to spill his biood; but 
 the conuDA being wickedly placed af- 
 ter the word fear, thus — 
 
 •' To shed Kiajf Kdwaid'a blood 
 Refui-c to fear," 
 
 the murder seemed commanded, to- 
 
 I'.tther with a kind ot iu-ienmijirntion 
 to the keeper. Nay, after that njode 
 of pointing, the remainder of the 
 line seems to deem the action nicvito- 
 rious: 
 
 ■ " I count it good." 
 
 According to the punctuation, the 
 keeper took the liues iii the worst 
 senie, and the king lost his life. 
 
 The wt'll-knonn anecdote of a 
 bishop of Asscllo is another case ir» 
 point — The good prelate, carrying 
 with him the huuiilii}/ of the station 
 from which he had been raised, a)id 
 posse>&ing a fiherality becoming his 
 olevaiion, ordered tliis inscription to 
 he put over bis gate : 
 
 '• Porta, patens esto, nnlli claaderis 
 Jiouesto." 
 
 " Gate, be thou open, and not shut to any 
 tionebt man." 
 
 But the painter imlutkily, placed 
 the comma after the word nnUi, in- 
 stead of esto, the sense stood thus — 
 
 " Gate, be thou open to nobody, but he 
 'hut to an lionest mau." 
 
 which occasioned the bishop to lose 
 his bishopric*
 
 Jntcrest'inyNavrativ^Sy Euignias^ Epigrams^ Poetnj^ Sfc. 517 
 
 Tljusue may percfivc flie n.eressifv 
 of beini: very pctriiciilar »vitli jes}>t';t 
 to points or itojts; since the liii-^jvlar- 
 ing of a single r<>nuna ofcasif-iicM? the 
 nuircler of a kiu;,% ujkI the loss of a 
 
 bishopric! 
 
 War or Peace. 
 
 A VERY t!)in audit-nce aHcMirliiii: 
 ti.e third representation of a luv. 
 conieiiy, the author observed, " Oii, 
 it is ciiliicly owing to lliewar" — "Oil, 
 no,' cried the manager, it is iictiialiy 
 owing to {\\it2)iecc." 
 
 An easy Expedient. 
 SOME years ago, the son of an 
 eminent Jew was en the point of be- 
 ing married to a christian l:K)y, on 
 which the laili^r, who liad no objec- 
 tion to the religion of the lady, but 
 to the sruallness of her fortune, expos- 
 tulated with his son, and told him he 
 might have a iady with more jiioney, 
 and that if he married v.ilhout his 
 consent, he wunld cut him off with a 
 shilling. The sou replied, that whe- 
 ther he conicntcd or not, he would 
 have the object of his wishes ; 
 •adding, that i^he refused, he would 
 turn christian, and then he siiould 
 claim the beutfit of an Eiii^jisa law, 
 and obtain half of what lie possessed. 
 At this answer, old Mordecai was 
 greatly confounded, and resolved to 
 apply to counsel to know wiiethei 
 tiitre was any such law. The coun- 
 sellor replied that there certainly was, 
 and that his son, upon turning chris- 
 tian, would obtain half his fortune ; 
 "but it' you will give me a fee," ad- 
 ded he, "I'll put you in a way to dis- 
 appoint him, and the graceless dog 
 shall not be able to obtain a farthing." 
 At this news the Jew's hopes revived ; 
 and pulling ten guineas outof hispock- 
 et, he ir.stantly clapt them into the 
 lawyer's hands, expressing his injpa- 
 titnce to know Ijow to proceed. 
 " Why," said the counsellor, " Mr. 
 Mordecai, you have nothing to do but 
 turu chriiiliuu yourself," 
 
 Monkiys Tooth. 
 
 IN i he island of Cey1"n, the natives 
 former'y paid their tidoration to the 
 most faniastic deities. Amon-^st 
 others a magniticent temple was erect- 
 ed, anti daily sacrifices otfeied to the 
 all-powerful spirit sti|)posed to reside 
 in a p.Kjnkcy's tooth. On the continu- 
 ance- of any droiighr, or the preva- 
 le),ce of any epidenr.c disoi^'er, the 
 •^jicreil toOth was still brought tuilll 
 and borne in solemn procession; and 
 the return of rain and health, was 
 con»-taiit!y attributed to its powerful 
 interposition. But soon alter the 
 Dutch had taken possession of the 
 island, by one of these accidents 
 against which no human prudence can 
 guard,- the halloAved tooth was mislaid, 
 and baffled the most diligent search 
 both of the piiests, its guaidians, and 
 the natives. This calamity occasioned 
 ,i'reat mourning, ami the negligent 
 priests were decreed to sufl'er death; 
 when a crafty Hnlhuulcr who had 
 seen the deity, pjoduccd to the natives 
 a tooth entirely- similar, which he 
 assured them the god Why Hang had 
 presented to hii^i in a dream. It was 
 received with the utmost rapturous 
 gratitude, and th<^ Dutchman was re- 
 warded with goods to the value o| 
 '70,000/. with which he returned to 
 his owij country. He afterwards 
 spoke of the deity with becoming 
 veneration and gratitude, and his tirst 
 toast each day alter diimer was con- 
 stantly, the monkey's tooth. 
 
 An Apothecary's Accounts. 
 
 ON inspecting the accounts of an 
 apothecary, who died in Dublin, it 
 aopeared that there was due to him, 
 ui what he deemed good debts, from 
 ins patients y^oii' ff/i'LV, 6 IS/, from the 
 executors of his dead patients, 3^)00/, 
 — thai he owed for dimgs of all des- 
 criptions, 5>/. for braiulics aivd other 
 qnriis, 2iivl. and to his bottle ma-' 
 chant, 300/.
 
 518 Literary Curiositks^ Epitaphs, Won derful Ev ents, 
 
 Anecdote of Lord Chief Baron 
 Parker. 
 
 A INIAN, under a vitjlent suspicirm 
 vf dealing in contraband gviods, fee- 
 ing once tiled before Lord Justice 
 Pinker, was scciise<J of having rode, 
 ill a iiisioiis an! lumiiUuous manner, 
 tluoiigh tlie streets in the town oi 
 Horsham, upon a hor-^e, mare, or 
 gelding, laden M'ith teas luid sundrv 
 other articles, for which no duty had 
 been paid unto our sovereign lord 
 the king ; and when a revenue officer 
 attensnted to stop him, and seized one 
 bag, containing tea, &c. for wliich 
 duty ha<l not been paid, he assaulted, 
 malireatcd and abused the said otHcer. 
 
 As a faither aggravation of his of- 
 fence, it was stated tiuU this happened 
 on a fair day, when the streets were 
 crowded, and the lives of many of 
 liis majesty's liege subjects en<hmger- 
 ed, &c. ike. The crown summoned 
 a cloud of witnesses : ostlers and 
 postillions, waggoricrs and watermen, 
 farmers tnid shopkeepers, witliont 
 number, crowded the court. The 
 jwisoner's counsel asked the first wit- 
 ness at what time he saw the olVence 
 
 committed. He replied at four 
 
 o'clock in the afternoon, on the first 
 of October, fair-(Iay ; which was on a 
 Wednesday. Tiie second witness, 
 when he came to be examined, said, 
 it was at ten o'clock in the morning, 
 at the September fair; which he well 
 remembered happened on a Friday. 
 The third swore it was exactly at 
 twelve o'elock, at the Kov<?mbcr fair; 
 and that, he was clear, was always on 
 a Saturday. The test of the. evidesjce 
 was equallv exact : some swore the 
 prisoner had a blue great coat, and 
 <5theis that he had a brivvii one; some 
 that he ro«le on a bay mare, and 
 others that he was mounted on a grey 
 horse ; from all which it turned out 
 to the prisoner, that in a multitude 
 f)f witnesses there is safety ; for when 
 the judge summed tip lUe evidwice. 
 
 he told the jury it was so contradic- 
 iiry, that he thought they could not, 
 ronsistently with their oaths, find him 
 'juiiiy ; and, if they thought as he did, 
 lliey w ;uld acquit him. He was ac- 
 quitted accordingly; when the attor- 
 ney-general got up, and said, he must 
 request the court would grant an or- 
 der that the man might be kept in 
 custody, until he had drawn up an in- 
 dictment against him for certain duties 
 due to the king. To this tlie lord 
 chipf baron made the following reply : 
 " I think the man has been in cenfino- 
 ment long enough for you to have 
 made out your indictment; you have 
 neglected it ; he has been tried, an<I 
 by the laws of his country he is ac- 
 quitted ; I therefore order, tiuit the 
 ijaoler do inimediately leave him at 
 liberty to act as he thinks proper ; 
 and, if after this he thinks it will be 
 right to wait until you have made 
 out your indictment, I can have no 
 sort of objection; but, if he does, I 
 think, notwithstanding his acquittal, 
 he ought to be hanged for a fool." 
 
 The Camclion. 
 
 OFT has il been my lot to marti 
 A proud, conceiteii, tallsing sparli. 
 With eyes that liardly serv'dat most 
 To guard their master 'gainst a post, 
 Vet roiHid Ibe world the blade has beea 
 To see whatever cou'd be seen, 
 Refnrning from bistinish'd tour, 
 Grown ten limes perter than before; 
 Whatever word you chance to drop, 
 The traveli'd fool your mouth will stop: 
 " Sip, if my judgment you'll allow— 
 •■' I've seen — and surel onght to know — " 
 So beg you'd pay a due submission. 
 And ac<juiesce in his decjiriou. 
 
 Two t rave! I(TS of such a cast, 
 ^so'er Arabia's wild thoy past, 
 And on their way, in friendly cliaf, 
 N«!VT talk'd of (his, a!>d them of (hat, 
 Disconrs'd a while, 'niongst other matter. 
 Of the Cameliou's form and nature. 
 " A stranger animal," cries one, 
 " Sure neverliv'd benwifh the sun ; 
 " A lizard's body, lean and long; 
 " A fish's head, a serpent s tongue; 
 " Its tooth with triple claw disjoiii'd; 
 " AiAil wkat a IvH^tb of tail behind i
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas y Epigrams^ Poetrij^ .^c. 519 
 
 " How slow its pace; fnd tl:ea ils hue— 
 " Who ever saw so fine a blue?" 
 
 " Hold there," the other quick replied, 
 " 'Tisgrpeen— I saw it with these eyes, 
 " As late with open mouth it lay, 
 " And warm'd it in the sunny ray; 
 " Slretch'd at his ease the heast I view'J, 
 " And saw it eat the air for food " 
 
 " I've seen it, Sir, as well as you, 
 *•' And mustasjain affirm it bfiie. 
 «* At leisure 1 the beast siirrey'd, 
 *■' Extended iu the cooling shade." 
 
 " 'Tis green, 'tis green, Sir, I assure 
 " ye-" 
 •* Green!" cries the other in a fury-- 
 " Why, Sir — dy'e think I've lost my eyes?" 
 " 'Twere no great loss," the friend replies, 
 " For if they always serve you thus, 
 " You'll lind them but of little use." 
 
 So high at last the contest rose, 
 From w ords they almost came to blows ; 
 When luckily came by a third — 
 To him the question they referr'd ; 
 And bpgg'd he'd tell "em, if he knew. 
 Whether the thing was green or blue, 
 
 " Sirs," cries the umpire, " cease your 
 
 " pother — 
 ** The creatnre'? neither one nor 'tother : 
 " I caught the animal lai>t night, 
 ♦' And view 'd it o'er by candle-ligl.t : 
 " I niark'd it well — 'twas black .Is je! — 
 " You stare — but, Sirs, Fve got it yet, 
 " And can produce it " " Pray, Sir. do : 
 " I'll lay my life the thing is blue." 
 '• Aud ril be sworn, that when you've 
 
 " seen 
 " The reptile, you'll pronounce him green.' 
 
 " Well then, at once to ease the doubt,'.' 
 Replies the man, '■ I'll torn him out : 
 '* And when before your eyes I'veset him, 
 " If you don't find hita black, I'll eat hiari." 
 
 He said; then full before their sight, 
 Produc'd the beast, and lo ! 'twas white, 
 Both star'd the man iook'd wond'rous wise— 
 '' My childrea," the camelioa cries, ■ 
 (Then first the creature found a tongue) 
 " You all are right, and ail are wrong; 
 " When next you talk of what you view, 
 '' Think others see ps well as you ; 
 " Nor wonder if you find that none 
 Prefers your eye-sight to his own." 
 
 Butcher s Vr'tt, 
 
 WHEN Captain Giosc fiist v.t-ji 
 over to Irelaiifl, liis cuiiosiiy icd i]ii!i 
 to see every thiiif; in the c:i|>:!al wortii 
 seeing : in Ihe comse of his perar.ibu- 
 laligns, he one evenin^: sti-olied inlo 
 the meal market of Dublin, ulien tlse 
 
 b'lfchers, as n^tial, ^et up the constant 
 outcry of, *' What do yon buy ? what 
 do you buy, master ?" Grose parried 
 (ids far some time, by saying, •' He 
 wanted nothing ;" at last a butcher 
 starts from his stall, and eyeing Grose's 
 figure from top to bottom, which was 
 something .'-Ae doctor Slop's in Tris- 
 tiam Sliandy, exckumed, ''Well, sir, 
 though you don't want any thing at 
 present, only say you buy your meat 
 of me, and you'll make my fortune." 
 
 Epitaph at St. Allan's, Wood-Street. 
 
 WHAT! is she dead? doth he survive ? 
 
 Vo : both are dead, and both alive! 
 
 She lives, he's dead, by love though griev- 
 ing. 
 
 In hit» for her, yet dead, yet living; 
 
 Both dead and living! then what is gone? 
 
 One half of both, not any otie; 
 
 One mind, one Criilh, one hope, one grave, 
 
 In life, in death they had, and still they 
 have. 
 
 A cm ions Wedding. 
 
 THE whimsicality of the circum- 
 stance attending the following wed- 
 ding, may perhaps challenge the his- 
 tory of honour able attachments from 
 thftdays of Adam to the present hour. 
 
 A widow, in her ^ith year, who 
 lately buried her fourt'i husband, and 
 who was a resident of Boughton, near 
 Chester, was asked in church, t(» 
 a youth of nineteen, and a fort- 
 niglit after the happy pair proceed- 
 ed to tie the nuptial p.nuse. Luckilyv 
 however, the Y<^iJ'ig njar.'s master hav- 
 ing had tiniidy intisnation of the aO'tiir, 
 aflended, and happily r<scued him 
 fronj the impending danger. The 
 poor, forlorn, and forsaken dame, rc- 
 lurning home vvith a woeful counte- 
 n;»nre, Ijiiving lost a purse of 4Cs. 
 s!]e had f;iven her beloved, in addilion 
 to tlie more precion? treasure a hus- 
 Irind, \\?s met on \\w- way, bv a m >ie 
 frifMid, who, wilh rather a cherufnl 
 ofinnteihiuce, accosted her, " VVeli, 
 M,;ry, how do you do ? I am soriy
 
 520 LUerainj Curloslfies, EpHapJis^ Wonrferful Events^ 
 
 !ust3e you look so poorly!" I'o nhoiii 
 IMaiy (bursting iiito tearr-) related her 
 s:ui loss. " Is t'rul ali !" exclainie'! 
 he; "Why then, look thee, ^^lary, 
 my dear \vife dieii tiboiit a;i hour a-io, 
 I'm now going to get a coffin fur Lut, 
 and if it will Us the same thiu^Mc 
 thee, I'll marry tlK'e in two or thfeo 
 days uiyself." This very civvrilubie 
 offer rather paciHed the poor vidow, 
 and s!ie ^ave liini her hand. Accorc- 
 jngiy, on tiie Monday follovvinfr, slit 
 procured ii licence, hespoke a ('inner 
 at the plunie-of-Feathers, in Bmi2:li- 
 ton, and had every tiling prepared lor 
 the happy consusntnafion ; hut alas ! 
 the cup was again dasfied frotn the 
 V\p, by the wavward circumstance of 
 the inteiKJed bridegroom having paid 
 more attention to the jolly god than 
 to tlje. tender goddess; in short, 
 wh&n thev were to go to clmrcJi, he 
 was almost speechless drunk. In this 
 dilemma what was to be done ? The 
 be^rt of the tender widow was again 
 suddenly depressed, until a youjig 
 sprightly Welshman, an entire stran^ 
 ger, started up, and very charitably 
 ^ said, "Name of (Jot, before the din- 
 ner shall spoil, IMary marry me, me 
 marry Mary." The otlcr was no 
 sooner made than the bargain was 
 struck, and in less tlsan an hour the 
 parties were in church with a fresh li- 
 cence. The ceremony being speedily 
 run through, they returned ('wje and 
 indmsibk) amidst the group of con- 
 gratulating friends and wondering 
 spectators. Diiuier over, and the glass 
 going merrily round, all was happiness 
 and joy, until anolher dark cloud 
 burst in upon the scone: a brauny- 
 fisted Ciinibiiaa las-: entered the room, 
 uith a brace of constables and a war- 
 rant on a chari:e of bastardy against 
 the bridegroom, upon whom (notwilh- 
 stii^iding the prominence of her pad) 
 the young lady fell with an arm of 
 vengeance, that soon decorated his 
 eyes, and made his face a nitlimcholv 
 spectacle of inconlintnce. She then 
 
 took his hat. neck-handkerchief, shoe-» 
 buckles, <fec. and nmst have infalli- 
 bly gone to durance vile that night, 
 but for his bek>vtd bride, who sold 
 .'ifr winter st ck of potatoes, a store 
 pig, and a faithful donkey, (long the 
 carrier of her late spouse) with several 
 other articles, to satisfy the parish for 
 the youn.; expected stranger. Tlifi 
 conviviality of the company was then 
 resumed until a late iiour — atid i\\e^ 
 Jc'.ppiMess of this affLctioa,ate couple 
 is now — not to be. told. 
 
 An Epitaph on one named John, 
 
 DF.ATH came to John, 
 
 And wispepM in his ear> 
 Yoi( must die Joiui ; 
 
 D'ye hear ? 
 Quoth Jebn, to Death, 
 Tiie news is bad : . 
 Nt» matter quoth D^'ath, 
 I've said. 
 
 A ctu'lous ministerial Anecdote, 
 
 A CERTAIN minister at a ceftalfi 
 con':fress upoutiie continent some years 
 ago, liaving a grand entertain;nent,had 
 amongst other dif-hes, a very rich pie, 
 which some of his English guests de- 
 clared would have been excellent, if it 
 iiad not been altogether so high season- 
 ed. Tke. cook, informe<l of this objec- 
 tion, acquainted his excellency that he 
 had a smaller pie of the same sort, not 
 quite so high, which he provided from 
 a foresight of what might happen. — 
 " Bring the pie,*' said our minister, 
 " and let me ask you, gentlemen," 
 coMiimied he, turning to his country- 
 njen, "whether you think an English 
 blockhead would have -had sense 
 enouiih to have thought of such a 
 contrivance." They were struck dumb 
 with this piece of Fresich ingenui- 
 ty ; bwl it was not long before they 
 iiad an opportunity of returning his 
 lordship's compliment. The cook 
 linding it very jiraclicable to get safe 
 into bis own country, slipped away 
 on the eve of the next grand enter-
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, ^c. 521 
 
 taiiiujent with all his excellency's 
 plate, which put him to the trouble 
 of excusinjj himself to those he invited; 
 one of ins count rjiiien answered, 
 smilin;;, " Does your excellency think 
 any English blockhead could havt 
 had sense enough to have thought of 
 such a contrivance V 
 
 A fair Start. 
 
 MANY years ago, while a clergy- 
 man on the coast of Cornwall, was iu 
 the midst of his sermon, the alarm 
 was given, a wreck! a wreck! The 
 congregation, eager for their prey, 
 were iranifdiately making off, when 
 the parson solemnly intreated them 
 to hear only five words more. This 
 arrested their attention until the 
 preacher, throwing off his canonicals, 
 descended from the pulpit exclaim- 
 ing, •' Now let's all start fair." 
 
 Tlie Seditious Songster. 
 
 A SEDITIOUS songster being 
 prosecuted in a borough town iu the 
 West of England, the following is 
 said to be the sentence passed upon 
 liini on conviction : 
 
 "Prisoner, I am the org-on of the 
 law, through which its sentence must 
 pass upon you in open diapason : your 
 cadence claims no lenity : you tried to 
 s'.jbvert the constitution by a catch; 
 I shall not hesitate, therefore, to 
 punish you with a glee ! —Beware, in 
 future of the Aorw of sedition, whose 
 accompaniments must ever be in iho- 
 rous^h bass ! You have swelled the 
 scale of your discord, by criticising 
 the exquisite performances of the 
 leader of his majesty's band ; whose 
 prestos, allegros or andantes ought 
 ever to be encored ; because his divi- 
 sions are invariably weW-timed, while 
 those, which oppose them, being in 
 counterpoint, and in three fiats, are 
 »»re to resolve themselves into a minor 
 
 key. That such vile scrapers as you, 
 therefore, may not put the harmonic 
 concert of government out of tune^ 
 I adjiidse you ta one hundred bars 
 rest \n Cridewell ; during which you 
 are to receive a cat-o'-nine-tail move- 
 ment obhgato on your back in score! 
 This will teach you at least to play a 
 little more piano, and it is hoped, to 
 avoid that/c//fl? CHORD, which must 
 otherwise stop your vox humane, and 
 bring the strains of your whole m- 
 strument to a disirraceful finale. 
 
 Charles It. 
 
 IF we survey the character of 
 Charles II. in the different lights of 
 which it will admit, it w ill appear very 
 various, and give rise to different and 
 even opposite sentiments. 
 
 When considered as a companion, 
 he appears the most amiable and en- 
 gaging of men ; and, indeed, in this 
 view, his deportment must be allowed 
 altogether unexceptionable. His love 
 of raillery was so tempered with good 
 breeding, that it was never offensive. 
 His propensity to satire was so clieck- 
 ed by discretion, that his friends never 
 dreaded becoming the object of it. 
 His wit, to use the expressioM of one 
 who knew him very well, and who 
 was himself a good judge, could not 
 be said so much to be very refined or 
 elevated (qualities apt to beget jea- 
 lousy and apprehension in company) 
 as to be a plain, gaining, well-bred,, 
 recomniending kind of wit; and 
 though he perhaps talked more than 
 strict rules of behaviour might per- 
 mit, men were so pleased with the 
 affable communicative deportment of 
 the monarch, that they always went 
 away contented both with him and 
 with themselves. 
 
 In the duties of private life his 
 conduct, though not free from excep- 
 tion, was in tlie main laudable. He 
 was an easy generous lover, a civil 
 obliging husband, a friendly brother, 
 3 X
 
 5§-2 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, XVonderful Events^ 
 
 an indii'u;eiit father, and a wood-iintu- 
 red Jiias'er The vohintaiy frieiidshi} s 
 however, w iiich this princf coiitracfed, 
 hay, even his serisp of frnititude, ware 
 fetbi^ ; and ho never atJaciied hhuself 
 to any of his tnitristers or co,iirfiers 
 with a sincere aftVclion. Hf believed 
 thcJii to hvjve no other motive in serv- 
 ing; him than self-interest ; and he v^as 
 ready, in his turn, to sacrifice iheni 
 to present ease or convenience. 
 
 When Ave c nsider him as a sove- 
 reiijn, his ciiaracter, thnugh not alto- 
 geilier destitute of virtue, was in the 
 main danirerous to his people, and 
 dishonorable t«» himself. Ne<;li2;ent ol 
 the interests of the nation, careless of 
 it"! glory, averse to its religion, jealous 
 of its liberty, lavi-ih of its treasure, 
 sparine; only '>f its blood ; he exposed 
 it by his measures, though be never 
 appeared but in sport, to the danger 
 of a fuiions civil war, and even to the 
 ruin ;md iunomi'ny of a foreign con- 
 quest. Yet all these enorniiiies, if 
 fairly and c?:ndidly e%amine<l, may be 
 imputed, in a great measure, to the 
 indolence of his temper: a fault 
 which, however unfortunate in a nio- 
 iiarrh, it is impossible fcriis to regard 
 with £,reat sfverily. 
 
 It has been remiirked of this king, 
 that he never said a foolish thing, nor 
 ever did a wise one ; a censure which, 
 thou^h carried loo far, seems to have 
 had some fwundation in his chaiacter 
 and (!ep(rrlment- 
 
 II" died February the 6ih, 1(585, 
 aged 54'. 
 
 Employment of Time. 
 
 A GENTLEMAN tond of playing 
 the violin, was one morniii" prHCtisinL', 
 when his uncle came in, ami the foU 
 lowino dialniiue took place: 
 
 Uncle. — " 1 fear Chaiies \ou losew 
 preat deal ot time vvirh this fiddling." 
 Nfpiiew. — " Sir, I endeavour io keep 
 time." Uncle.- •' You mean rather 
 l(» kill timt." Nrpluiv. — " No: I 
 only beat time." 
 
 A Vowel Pun. 
 
 IN a pamphlet wiitten by Sir JohtJ 
 Hill, the doctor assert-., that m the? 
 words virtue, stir, S>c. Garnck 
 pronouriced the letter i li.ke die letter 
 u. 1 his drew from Davul the tollow- 
 ino ep'g'ammatic reply, addiessed to 
 Dr. 11.11: 
 
 If its true, an you say, that I've injured a 
 
 letter, 
 rH cliange my notes soon, and I hope for 
 
 the better. 
 May the jnst riglits of letters, as well ai 
 
 of men. 
 Hereafter l)e fixed by tlTe longne and the 
 
 pen ; 
 Moat devoutly / wisti they may both have 
 
 their due, 
 Aud that I may be never roistakea for U. 
 
 Proper Precedence. 
 A LAWYER and a physician hav- 
 ing a di?.pute about precedence , refer- 
 red it to Diogenes, who gave it in fa- 
 vour of the lawyer, in the>e terms: 
 " Let the ikief go before, and th« 
 cxecuUo7ier follow. 
 
 Short Petticoats. 
 A GENTLEMAN beingon a morn- 
 ing visit to a lady, the cotiversatioii 
 turned on fa>ihi(»n and leniale dress. 
 The long waists and short vvidsts, the 
 high heads and the low heads, the 
 high heels and the low heels, each 
 had their turn; at length, SHtd her 
 ladvship, " So, sir, extremes of fa- 
 -hinn do not meet with your appro- 
 i.Htiovi. But pi ay, what do you 
 ihi"k of siK.'rt petticoatsr--" 'I'hat 
 tashion," said he, your ladyship may- 
 carry as high as you please' 
 
 J Gouty Pun. 
 A PERSON meeting a friend, who 
 had lately laboured under a fit of the 
 gi.ut, inquired after his health, and 
 was answered, " So, so." — " 1 am 
 sorry you are no belter," leplied the 
 gentleman; for I hoped you were re- 
 covered in to- to."
 
 Interest hg Narratives, Enigmas, E pigrams, Voetry, ^c. 52S 
 
 An Epigram on Epigrams. 
 
 WHAT'* to an epigram most like ? 
 
 A bee is ji.'st ilie tbinff ; 
 Tbong;lifuilofswee(9,s(il!i(shonlcl strike — 
 
 Its tail aiu8t bold a sting. 
 
 Another, 
 
 WHAT is an epij^ram 1 — a dwarfish whole, 
 Its body brevity, ;ind wit itssouL 
 
 Another. 
 
 ONE day in Chelsea nipadows walking, 
 Of poetry and i-uch things talliing, 
 
 Says Dick, a ratrry wag, 
 *' An epigram, if smart and good, 
 In all it«i circnmstanres should 
 
 Be like a jelly-bag." 
 
 " Yonr simile I own is new, 
 
 «* But how d'ye make it out ? says Hugh- 
 Quoth Difk, " I'll tell you, friend : 
 
 " Make it at top both wide and fit 
 
 " To hold a budget full of, wit, 
 " And point it at the end." 
 
 Enigmatical List of Kingdoms, Empires, 
 and Nations. 
 
 TO the whole of importance add three- 
 sevenihs of frail, 
 
 Two- sevenths of a share, and the like of to 
 rail. 
 
 Two-tbirds of an herb, one fifth of repo e. 
 
 Three-fourths of a city in Asia disclose. 
 
 Three-ninths of to sprout, joiu'd to one- 
 tilth of dark. 
 
 Two-eighths of to curse, and one-fourth of 
 to bark. 
 
 Three-tenths of a giant that had but one eye. 
 
 And the same of the daughter of OEtion des- 
 cry. 
 
 Three-fourths of to keep, one-fourth of a 
 tree. 
 
 Of an insect two-thirds, and one-sixth of 
 to see. 
 
 Two-filths of a fish, one-fonrth of a bird. 
 
 Of position two-ninths, of assistance one- 
 third. 
 
 A vowel subjoiu'd to two-fifths of a spell, 
 
 And half of a measure that's kaown very 
 well. 
 
 Of a liqnor two-thirds, of a clamonr the 
 same. 
 
 The initial of him who fam'd Hector o'er- 
 came. 
 
 Two-thirds of to win. a term ns'd for gold. 
 
 Of a monster two-fifths, and th' initial of 
 bold. 
 
 Fonr-sixibs of a nymph that was tur..'ci 
 to a reed. 
 
 And one-eight of her name that conid run 
 with great speed. 
 
 or a legate two-si\-<l\s, just halfof to dwell, 
 And one-sixth of fair Paphia's favourite 
 
 tell. 
 Two-sixths of a title of Juno disclo'^e, 
 \nd three-fourths of a name for an emblem 
 
 tr;dnsp()se. 
 I'he initial of one of the Pierian nine, 
 iiist halfof a gem, and two-eights of fine, 
 >f a store-house three fourths, one-half of 
 
 to yelp, 
 And a vowel subjoined to the initial of help. 
 To halfof a coin a cons'.ant unite, 
 \nd a. id to it pa>-t of the organ of sight. 
 Two-eighths of a muse must next be dis- 
 
 clos'd, 
 Dne-baif of 'o range, and a measure trans* 
 
 pos'd. 
 f'alf of unfaded, the same of a sneer, 
 The like of a digit, and oue-seveuth of se- 
 vere, 
 ! hree-eights of to thrive, one-fifth of to 
 
 rise. 
 The monnlain where Paris gave Venns the 
 
 prize. 
 Two-sixths of to fraud, one-seventh of to 
 
 mock, 
 Two-*ixths of a youth that was tnrn'd to 
 
 a rock. 
 Two sevpulhs of the n.'vme of a horse of 
 
 Apollo, 
 And half of a stone that is precious must 
 
 follow. 
 
 The Glutton. 
 
 FROM noon till morn, wi'h urrabated zeal, 
 \ wealthy glutton, at a luscious meal, 
 Had cramm'd himself till he couid fereatb^ 
 
 no more ; 
 "he short-iiv'd joy at length brought to 
 
 deplore. 
 With staggering steps he left the scene di- 
 vine, 
 \t home to snore away the frimes of wine. 
 
 By chance a beggar, naked and distress'd, 
 
 llet him, and thus in plaintive voice ad- 
 dress 'd : 
 
 •' Tn pity, sir, some trifling alms bestow 
 
 •' On a poor man, a prey to every woe! 
 
 ■' Forlorn, nnshelter'd from the wintry 
 <' bla.-t, 
 
 ' These lips no food have touch'd for tw« 
 " days past 
 
 ■' And hunger" — " Hold ! (he cried) com^ 
 " piain no longer, 
 
 " You lucky dog, to know the calls of 
 " hunger." 
 
 Long and Short. 
 
 QUOTH dumpy Joe. " This morn, ifegs, 
 " We'll walk up hill to stretch our legs." 
 •< No," (cried tall Jack) at home I'll pout 
 
 " It, 
 •' For mine ar» long enough without it. j 
 3 .\ 2
 
 524 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 An Account of a French Lady blind 
 
 Jrom her Infancy, who can read, 
 
 iviitc, and play at Cards. 
 
 A YOUNG gentlewoman, of a 
 
 good family in Fiance, Mademoiselle 
 
 de Salignac, bom at Xaintoiige, lost 
 
 her sioht when only two years old : her 
 
 mother havinfi; been advised to la} 
 
 some pigeon's blood on her eyes, to 
 
 preserve them in the small pox ; 
 
 whereas, so far from answering the 
 
 end, it eat into them. 
 
 Kature, however, may be said to 
 have compensate<'l for the unhappy 
 mistake, by beauty of person, sweet- 
 ness of temper, vivacity of genius, 
 quickness of conception, and many 
 talents which alleviate her mistortune. 
 She plays at cards with the same rea- 
 ' dincss as others of the pariy : — she 
 first prepares the pack allotted to her, 
 by pricking them in several parts, yet 
 so imperceptibly, that the closest in- 
 spection can scarce discern her in- 
 dexes ; fche sorts the suites, and arran- 
 ges the cards in their proper sequence, 
 with the same precision and nearly 
 the same facility as they who have 
 their sight; all she requires of those 
 who piay with her, is to name every 
 card as it is played, and these she re- 
 tains so exactly, that she frequently 
 perform^ some notable strokes, such 
 as show a great combination and 
 strong niemory. The most wonderful 
 circumstance is, ihal she should have 
 learnt to read and write: but even' 
 this is readily believed, on knowing 
 her method. In writing to her, no ink 
 is used, but the letters are pricked 
 down on the paper, and by the deli- 
 cacy of her touch, feeling each letter, 
 she follows them successively, and 
 reads every woui with iicr finger end. 
 She herself makes use ui a pencil, as 
 sh»"' couiil not know when her pen was 
 dry : ht-r guide on the papei is a small 
 thin rtjler, and of the breadth of her 
 writing. Ou finishing a letter, she 
 ^pts it, au its to ii.'i the traces of her 
 
 pencil, that they are not obscured or 
 effaced ; then proceeds to fold and 
 seal it, and write the directions: all 
 by her own address, and without the 
 assistance of any other person. Her 
 writing is very stiaight, well cut, and 
 the spelling no less correct. 
 
 To reach this mechanism, the inde- 
 fatigable cares of her affectionate 
 mother were long employed, who 
 accustomed h%r daughter to feel let- 
 ters cut in cards or pasteboard, which 
 brought her to distinguish an A frotn 
 a B, and thus the whole alphabet, 
 and afterwards to spell words; then 
 by the resemblance of the shape of 
 the letters to delineate them on paper ; 
 and lastly to arrange them so as to 
 form words and sentences. She learnt 
 to play on the guitar, and has even 
 conliived, a way of pricking down 
 the tunes as an assistance to her 
 memory. So delicate are her organs, 
 that in singing a tune, though new to 
 her, she is able to name the notes. 
 In figure dances she acquits herself 
 extremely well, and in a minuet, 
 with inimitable ease and gracefulness. 
 As for the works of her sex, she has a 
 masterly hand : she sews and hems 
 perfectly well, and in all her works 
 she threads the needles for herself, 
 however small. By the watch, her 
 touch never fails telling her exactly 
 the hour and minute. 
 
 Enigmatical List of Trees. 
 
 TWO -thirds of a beast, and a nu- 
 merical letter. 
 
 A laborious insect, and two conso- 
 nants. 
 
 Two vowels, and a consonant. 
 
 Three-fourths of subtle, and the 
 reverse to high. 
 
 Aq alBrmative changing the last 
 letter. 
 
 Three-fifths of one of Jacob's sons. 
 
 Two-fifths of part of the arm, a 
 numerical letter, and iwo-ihirds of 
 what we »U do.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmds, Epigrams, Poftrj/, S^c. 525 
 
 Anecdote of Kin^ George 11. 
 
 DURING the siege of Fort St. 
 Pliilip, a yf^ung lieutenant of the 
 marines was so unfortunute as to lose 
 both iiis legs by a chain-shot. In this 
 miserable and helpless condition, he 
 was conveyed by tlie tirst opportunity 
 to England, and a meniori;il of liis 
 case presented to an honourable board, 
 in order to obtain some additional 
 consideration to the narrow stipend of 
 half-pay. The honourable board 
 pitied the youth, but disregarded the 
 petition. Major Mason had the poor 
 lieutenant conducted to court on a 
 public day in his uniform ; where 
 posted in the guard-room, and sup- 
 ported by two of his brother officer?, 
 he cried out, as the king was passing 
 through to the drawing-room, " Be- 
 hold great sire, a man who refuses to 
 bend his knee to you ; he has lost both 
 in your service. The king, struck no 
 less by the singularity of this address, 
 than the melancholy object before 
 him, stopped, and hastily demanded 
 what had been doue for him. " Half- 
 pay, (replied the lieutenant) and 
 please your majesty." — "Fy,fy, o'nt," 
 said the king, shaking his head, and 
 shewing every mark of high displea- 
 sure, " but let me see you again next 
 levee-day." The lieutenant did not 
 fail to appear at the place of assigna- 
 tion, when he received from tiie im- 
 mediate bands of royalty, five hun- 
 dred pounds smart money, and an ap- 
 pointment of two hundred a year, to 
 be paid quarterly so long as he lived. 
 
 Story of a Monkey who ivas sentenced 
 to Death by the Patriarch of Rus- 
 sia, for profaning a Church. 
 
 SOME years ago, an ambassador 
 from England went to Moscow, and 
 carried a great monkey with him, 
 whom he put in a livery like one of 
 his foot-boys. The monkey got astray 
 «ue day, and leaped iato a church. 
 
 which then happened to be open, just 
 opposite to the aiiibassador's house. 
 The unlucky ape, as those aiHsiials 
 conunonly are, did a great deal of 
 miscliiiH'; he skipped about every 
 where, loosened and quite spoiled the 
 pictures that hiii;g to the walls, and 
 lomniiltcd other rav.iges. The church- 
 wardc'u he'riring a strange rattle, ran 
 to the ihurrh, and sei^-iag the ape 
 there in ti- ^ livery of the English am- 
 bassador, wiiom he took for one of his 
 Vtiiets, he shut up th.-; church, and 
 went immediately to tell the patriarch 
 what had happened. The patriarch, 
 in a great fret and fume, went t!;at 
 very instant to the czar's palace, to 
 inform him of so foul a deed, and 
 iii'.medifUely some halbardiers were 
 sent to seize the miscreaiit, who had 
 presumed to profane the churcli, 
 thinking the offender was actually a 
 valet dechambre. When the halbar- 
 diers entered the c'lurch, they found 
 ' the monkey upon the altar as busy as 
 I could be. They threatened him, and 
 charged him to come down, on pain 
 of being well threslied ; but as they 
 only talked all the while to a beast, 
 they were not obeyed. The raotikev, 
 on the contrary, as is the custom of 
 these creatures, shewed them his 
 teeth, which put one of the balbar- 
 ) diers into such a passion, that he ran 
 up to the ape, and gave him some 
 blows upon his back with his half-pike. 
 Tiie monkey being strong and sturdy, 
 was in such a rage at this druhhinji, 
 that he flew at the halbardier, and 
 mauled him so cruelly, notwithstand- 
 ing the drubbings that were given hini 
 to make him let go his hold, that they 
 were obliged to carry the poor man 
 home almost dead. Mean time the 
 halbardiers had much lo do to master 
 the monkey, nor could they hold him 
 until they had laid him on his back 
 by mere dint of blows. Then they 
 bound him, and in that manner 
 dragged him to prison, in sigiit of a 
 vast crowd of people that were got
 
 a25 Uterarij Cur'wsiiies^ Epitaphs^ IJ'onderftd Events^ 
 
 together. The anibis^adoi at the same 
 time ran the hazard of beiiiij as ill 
 use(i as his monkey, if he had not ob- 
 tained a safe i^naid for his qiiaitcj^, 
 the mob btin^ incensed ai^aiiisi h'lii 
 from a uoti'mj that he was tho autl.'or 
 of the sac:ih'ge liiat had been com- 
 n)ilted ; and some there were thai 
 susperted (he miiiisier to hiive <leal- 
 ings with evil spirit^, beciuise lie car 
 lied a devil abont him that tiiey couhi 
 not get a word out of; and iiidee(< as- 
 he was no more than a ni<iiikey, how 
 SJionld iht-y? The principle oljlcers 
 and mtrrhants went to court, and 
 codiplaiiied to the czar, an<l repre 
 seiiled that the creature which hait 
 connniiled all this disorder in the 
 ciiiirch was not a man but a l>ea.st, 
 that had been caught wild in llu 
 East Indus, and tanud ; and ih< 
 amlta^sador ofi'ered to make double 
 satisfaction for wli;it damage he had 
 done But this did not bring oft' the 
 liionkct ; for the paliiarch alleged, 
 that let the animal be what it would, 
 bi'ast or (levil incarnate, he must in- 
 di-pensibly be put lo sleath, because 
 he had not only profaned the church, 
 but made a racket and a disturbance 
 ill a [)Iace that was sacied. Sentence 
 being passed on bin) artcordingly, poor 
 pug was drawn thiough tiie whole 
 city, tied and bound with cords; and 
 then, fur tluy were as mtirh afraid of 
 this animal as th'-y were of the (lexil, 
 some of the ttoutcst and most cou- 
 rageous of the balbardiers shot hnii 
 to dcatli. 
 
 Richard Cror.iwelVs Speech to his 
 Piirtiamtnt. 
 
 MY LORDS AND GENTLEMEN, 
 
 I BELIEVE there are scarce any 
 of yon here, who expected some 
 months since, to have sten this great 
 assembly, at this time, in this place, 
 iu peace, considering the great and 
 
 unexpected change, which it bath 
 pleased the all-disposing hand of God 
 to make in ibe midst of ns. — I can 
 assure you, .that if things had been 
 Hccording to our own fears, and the 
 ii'ipes of our enemies, it liad not been 
 thus with us ; and therefore it will he- 
 ronie both y«u and me, in the first 
 place, to reverence and adore the 
 gr^at God, possessor of heaven and 
 earth, in wiiose hands our breath is, 
 and whose aie all our ways, because 
 of his judgnients, so as to acknow- 
 ledge him in his goodness to these 
 lands, iu that he halh not added sor- 
 row to sorrow, and made the period 
 of his late highr.ess's life, and that of 
 I lie nation's jjtace, to have been in one 
 day. 
 
 Peace was one of the blessings of 
 my father's government ; a mercy af- 
 ter so long a civil war, and in the midst 
 of So great divisions which that war 
 bred, is not usually afi'orded by God 
 unto a people in so great a measure. 
 
 The cause of God and these nations, 
 which the late protector was engaged 
 in, met, in all tlie parts of it, as you 
 well know, with many entmies and 
 great opposition : The archers, privily 
 and opeidy, sorely grieved him, and 
 s'.Kit at bun ; yet his bow abode ia 
 strength, and the arms of his hands 
 were niade stron<; by the liands of thti 
 migiity God of Jacob. 
 
 As to himself, he died full f)f days 
 spent in sore and great travail; yet 
 his eyes were not waxed dun, neiilier 
 was his natural strtngth abated. — As 
 it was said of Moses. " He was ser- 
 viceable even to the last.'" 
 
 As to these nations, he left them in 
 i^reat honour abroad, and in full peace 
 at l.'ome ; all England, bcotiand, and 
 iielaiid dwelling safely, every man 
 under his \ine, and under his tig-tree, 
 from Dan even to Beershebi;. He iti 
 gone to rest, and we are entered mto 
 Ids labours; and if the Eord has still 
 a blessing for these lands (as I trust he 
 halii) as our peace hath betn length*
 
 Interest i}ig Narratives^ Enigmas^ E pi a ram a, Poefnt, ^c .557 
 
 ene<l nut to this day, so sh ill we po on 
 to rertj» the frliit and gather the liai- 
 vt'St of wheat his late ln>hiK'ss haUi 
 sown and laid the fotiudalion. Fcr 
 niv own p;irt, bcin<;, I y the provi 
 d« nee o< God and the <iis])ohilioii of 
 the law, nty father^ successor, and 
 rtear'njr that place in the ^ovtiinnent 
 that I do, I tlioiight it for the pid)!ic 
 good, to call a parliament of the three 
 nations now united Bud cot joined to- 
 gether in one commonwealth, under 
 one government. It is agreeable not 
 only tB my trust, but to n)y princi- 
 ples, to ijovtrii these nations by thi 
 advice of mv two houses of parlia 
 nient. I find it inserted in the hum- 
 ble petition and advice which is the 
 #«-.rner-i.tone of this buil'iiug and thn 
 which I shidl adhere to, " that pariia- 
 niejits are the great council of the chief 
 magi'«trate, in whose advice, bo'h lie 
 and these nations may be both safe 
 and ha|)j)y." I can assure you I h.ive 
 that esteem of them, and as I have 
 made it the first act of my govern- 
 ment to call \ow together, so I shail 
 further let nou see the value I have of 
 you, by the answer 1 shall return t«( 
 the adv.ce that shall be given me b\ 
 yon for the good of tiiese nations. 
 
 You are come up from your several 
 counties as the heads of your tribes, 
 (and with hearts I persuade myself, to 
 consult together for llieir good) I can 
 say 1 meet >ou with the same d« sires, 
 having notUinc in my design but the 
 maintenance of the peace, la« s, and 
 liberties both civil and christian, of 
 these nation*, which I shall always 
 make the measure and rule of my go- 
 vernment, and be ready to spend my 
 life for. 
 
 We have summoned you up at this 
 time to let you know the state of oer 
 affairs, and to have your advice in 
 them; and I believe a parlianitnt was 
 never summoned upon a more impor- 
 tant occasion. 
 
 It is true, as 1 told you, we are, 
 IViroush tl»e guodue&j of Go!, al tli!;- 
 
 time at pt-ace ; but it is not tims wiili 
 IIS, because we linve no encmiis; no, 
 ihere are enonsih bolli within us and 
 without us, wliowouM soon put aij 
 end to otir peace, were it in ihrir 
 power, or slnadd it at uny time co:ue 
 intt; thtir power. 
 
 It will be I.ecoming your wisdom to 
 consider of tlw securing our peace 
 against those who we all know i»re, 
 and ever will be our implacable ene- 
 mies: what the means of doing this 
 are, I shall ev/'r refer unto y* u. 
 
 This I ran assure you, that the arr 
 niies of England, Scotland, and Ire- 
 and, are tiue and f.nthful to '.he pej-ce 
 and good i:'tPrcst of these naiions, 
 aa>l it uill be foui'.d so; and fh;it lijey 
 are a coji^istetit body, and useful for 
 M;y good tnds ; and if they were not 
 • he very best army in the wofid, you 
 would have heard o( many iiiconve- 
 nienres, by reason of iLe grtal arrear 
 of pay wldeh is n >w due unto them, 
 wherebv s< nie of them are rfd'sr^rd Jo 
 •;re,if necessili's ; but you shall have 
 . I particidar account of their arrears, 
 ami I doubt not but ct'nsider.ti.-n uill 
 i>e had thereupon in »o!ne sj ^ee'dy ai.d 
 eff^ctual >\iiy ; and thi's bt iiig tnattfr 
 ■if money, I recommend it the Louse 
 of commons, 
 
 Yuu have, y«'U know, a war with, 
 Spain, carried on by the advice of 
 parliament ; he is an old enemy, and 
 a potent one, and thenfore it will be 
 necessar\, botii tor the boiU^ur ond 
 >Bftty of thfse nations, that '.var be 
 vifjornusly proM'Ciite<i. 
 
 Fuithermore, ti:e coiislitntion of 
 .dKUis in all our countries, and rnimj 
 about us (as well fnend*" as «uenii<s) 
 is very considerable, and calls npo;i 
 us to be upon our guard, bntd at land 
 and sea, and to be in a post.ire able 
 to maintain and conserve our oun 
 state ai.d interest. 
 
 Great and pnwerfiil fleets are pie- 
 paiiiig to s-'t fortii into these se;.*, ai.d 
 con-.i»}erab!e arn>ies of several iialjuns. 
 and Iviwjji are now dispu!ii!g for iheir
 
 S-28 Literarj Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 njasteiy of the sound, ivilh i.}ie ad- 
 jacent islands and countries, among 
 which, is thi; emperor of Germany, 
 and other popish states. — I need not 
 teil jou of what consequence these 
 things are to this state. 
 
 We have already interposed in these 
 afF.iirs, in suc'i a iJKinner, aswef.und 
 it necessary for the interest of Eng- 
 land ; and n»Btters ajre yet in such a 
 comiition in these pvirts, that the state 
 may, with the assistance of God, pro- 
 vide, that ilieir differences may uot 
 prejudice us. 
 
 The other things tliat arc to be said, 
 I shall refer to the Lord Keeper 
 Fiennes ; and close up what I have te 
 say, with only adding two or three 
 purticulcirs to what i have already 
 said. 
 
 And first, I recommend to your 
 care, the people of God in these na- 
 tions, with their concernments ; the 
 more they are divided among them- 
 selves, the greater prudence should 
 be used to cement thenj.. 
 
 Secondly, the good and necessary 
 work of reformation, both in the 
 manners and in the administration of 
 justice; that profaneness may be dis- 
 countenanced and suppressed ; and 
 that righteousness and justice may be 
 executed in the land. 
 
 Thirdly, I recommend to you the 
 prolestant cause abroad, which seems, 
 at this time, to be in some danger, 
 having great and powerful enemies 
 and very few friends; and I hope and 
 believe, thiU the old English zeal to 
 tiiiit cause is still amongst us. 
 
 Lasily, my lords, and you gentle- 
 men of the House of Commons, that 
 you will, in all your debates, maintain 
 and conserve love and unity among 
 yourselves, that therein you may be 
 the pattern of the nation, who have 
 sent you up in peace and with their 
 prayers, that the spirit of wisdom and 
 peace may be ainoiig you, aad this 
 shall also be my prayers for you, and 
 to this let us all add ouc utmost en- 
 
 deavours for the making this happy 
 parliament." 
 
 Mr. Voltaire remarks that Richard 
 Cromwell lived contented, whereas, 
 his father never knew what happiness 
 v.as. The genius of Ricbanl was 
 wholly different from that of Oliver; 
 he was possessed of all the meek vir- 
 tues which makes the good citizen, 
 and had none of that brutal hitrepidi- 
 ly, which sacrifices every thing to its 
 <nvn interests. He nn'ght have pre- 
 ferred the inheritance which his father 
 acquired by his labours, if he would 
 have consented to put to death three 
 or four principal officers of the army, 
 who opposed his elevation ; but he 
 chose rather to lay down the govern- 
 ment, than to reign by assassination ; 
 and lived retired and almost unknowu 
 to the age of ninety, in a country of 
 which he had once been the sovereign. 
 
 The Beggar, 
 
 A PLAYER met a man in the 
 street who appeared extremely dis- 
 tressed, and asked charity ; he gave 
 him something, observing; "Either 
 that man must be in actual distress^ 
 or he is an excellent actor." 
 
 The Ghost-Seer. 
 
 A WAG, who pretended to have 
 seen a ghost, was closely cross-exa- 
 mined by the persons to whom he re- 
 lated this marvellous story. Amidst 
 various interrogations to detect his 
 falsehood, one asked him, what the 
 ghost said to him. " How should I 
 understand, (replied the narrator) 
 " what he said, as you know I am not 
 skilled in any ©f the dead languages," 
 
 Tit for Tat. 
 
 TOM Clark, of St. John's, once 
 desired a fellow of the same college 
 to lend him Burnet's history of the re- 
 formation ; the other told him he
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, ^c. 529 
 
 |,)!easef1, he might come there and 
 read all day long. Some time after 
 the same gentleman sent to Tom to 
 borrow his bellows. " I cannot pos- 
 sibly spare them out of my chamber, 
 but you may c»me there and hlow all 
 day if you will," was the reply. 
 
 Cross Readings, taken from difftrent 
 Newspapers. 
 
 IN the House of Commons yester- 
 day Lord Mulgrave — Received 300 
 lashes pursuant to his sentence for 
 desertion. 
 
 Last night a gang of notorious vil- 
 lains were apprehended — The earl of 
 Sandwich spoke half an hour in his 
 defence. 
 
 Shaksj>eare's Comedy of Errors will 
 be presented — By a numerous meeting 
 of Westminster justices. 
 
 Lady A. M. Stanhope, youngest 
 daughter of the earl of Harringtorj — 
 Has engaged to eat a leg of mutton 
 and turnips at one sitting. 
 
 Yesterday a man was branded in 
 the hand— None are genuine but 
 those that have this mark. 
 
 We, the Lord Mayor, aldermen, 
 and common council — Promise never 
 to be guilty of the like offence again. 
 
 A most affecting scene of poverty 
 and distress — For the service of the 
 present year. 
 
 Yesterday a chimney sweeper's boy 
 under seven jears — Arrived at White- 
 hall to attend a meeting ef parliament. 
 
 At a lady of quality's rout in Gros- 
 venor-square — The School for Scan- 
 dal, the 20th night tliis season. 
 
 Next week Dr. Hunter intends 
 giving — A grand dinner to several of 
 the nobility. 
 
 On Friday a man was whipped at 
 the cart's tail — The cereujony was 
 performed by his grace the archbishop 
 ef York. 
 
 The freedom of the city will he 
 presented to Admiial Kfj'pel Pricti 
 one shilling the box. 
 
 To-morrow the new parliament will 
 meet — To be sold by auction to the 
 best bidder. 
 
 Four street walkers were taken up 
 in St. Giles's — And afterwards held 
 several conferences with the prince. 
 
 Adm. Keppel is to dine again in the 
 city — N. B. The gUtzing business 
 carried on as usual. 
 
 The treasurer of her majesty's 
 household has given notice — That he 
 will pay no debts of her contracting. 
 
 A poor distressed widow with 7 
 he!j)less children — Is in immediate 
 want of lOOOl. 
 
 Sunday next two charity sermons 
 will be preached — To the disgrace of 
 all religion and good government. 
 
 Joshua Reynolds, esq. received the 
 honor of knighthood — Having met 
 with great encouragement on my 
 canvass. 
 
 The Nabob of Arcot has sent his 
 majesty a present of — Three blankets 
 and a biass candlestick, value lOd. 
 
 This morning the queen was de- 
 livered of a prince — to be continued 
 annually. 
 
 A full board of treasury will be held 
 this morning — All persons that have 
 lately been robbed are desired to at- 
 tend. 
 
 Yesterday the five condemned ma- 
 lefactors — Appeared in court in the 
 collars of their respective ©rders. 
 
 Yesterday being the last day of 
 term — the villains made off after do- 
 ing all the mischief. 
 
 The most audacious robberies are 
 daily committed — By his majesty's 
 royal letters patent. 
 
 JVit. 
 
 TRUE wit is lilie a t)rilliant stone, 
 
 Dug from Golcoiida's mine; 
 Which boasts two various povTers in one-^ 
 
 To cut as well as tthiue. 
 
 Genius, lilsethat, ifpolish'd right, 
 Vi'ilh the same gifts .Tbounds ; 
 
 Appears at once bo(h lieen and liright, 
 Ami sparktes while it wounds. 
 3 Y
 
 530 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Emnts^ 
 
 A Theatrical Alphabet, 
 
 A'S ARNOLD,nn author and manager bold, 
 WLo knows to transmute his base metal 
 to gold. 
 
 B's Bannister, chiefly employ'd as a droll, 
 Bat wiih pathos can happily soften the 
 soul. 
 
 C's Coleman, a writer of wit and of taste. 
 But whose indolence seldom provides us 
 a feast. 
 
 D is a Davison, tasteful and g^ay, 
 
 Who the lady in comedy well can dis- 
 play. 
 
 E is avi Emery, in York-lads an host ; 
 A more chaste comic actor the stage can- 
 not bdast. 
 
 Fis a Faicce/^, of consequence fnil, 
 
 Who well representeth a sturdy John 
 Bull. 
 
 6 is a Glover, an elegant darae, 
 
 Who observes the due mean, nor to» bold 
 nor too tame. 
 
 H is a Holland, who never olTvnds, 
 
 But beyond walking geutlemen rarely 
 ascends. 
 
 1*5 Incledon, powerful in voice, without 
 flaw, 
 The best English singer the stage ever 
 saw. 
 
 J'sJor</fln, Thalia's most favourite daugh- 
 ter, 
 
 Whose vportive effusions convulse us 
 with laughter; 
 
 Yet who, versatile, can each soft passion 
 impart, 
 
 W^here feeling's requit "d to speak home to 
 the heart. 
 
 K's Kemlle,2L giant, who stands all alone, 
 In the hero's ambition, or misanthrope's 
 
 moan ; 
 But from aiches his auditors frequently i 
 
 groan. j 
 
 L is a Liston, whose risible face 
 
 Displays comic humour, and sometimes 
 grimace. 
 
 M is a Malhews, of gods the attractor. 
 Whose mimical pow'rs make him almost 
 au actor. 
 
 N Nobody claims of theatrical merit, 
 As an author, an actor, or singer of spirit. 
 
 O Oxberry is, of the trne modern school, 
 By nature intended for playing the fool. 
 
 P is a Phillips, of musical fame, 
 
 But too servile a copyist, even of Bra- 
 ham. 
 
 Q iaa Qj^icA:, though now laid on the shelf, 
 A true sou of Momue, a c<>mical elf. 
 
 
 R is a Raymond, who mouths as a tyrant, 
 And's never so happy as when on high 
 rant. " 
 
 S is a Siddons, the queen of the stage; 
 In tenderness, grandeur, aiilidiou, or 
 
 rage, 
 Such an actress is not to be seen in an 
 age. 
 
 T's a Terry, an actor of judgment and skill, 
 Who numerous parts can respectably lill. 
 
 V's rinin^r, a youth rather easy and smart ; 
 
 But he consequence wants to give force 
 
 to his part. 
 
 W's Wewitzer, sound comic actor and true. 
 
 Who ne'er fail'd in Frenchman, Swisir, 
 
 German, or Jew. 
 
 I Y's Young, energetic displayer of passion. 
 An able successor, since Kemble's seces- 
 sion. 
 Z is a Zero, of whom there are many, 
 And who, mixed in a crowd, do as well 
 as any. 
 
 A Lecture oh Heads. 
 
 "TO this night's masquerade, (quoth Dick) 
 " By pleasure I am beckon'd, 
 
 " And think 'twould be ajolly trick 
 <' To go as Charles the Second." 
 
 " Toca felt for repartee a thirst. 
 
 And thus to Richard said : 
 " Youd better go as Charles the Firsts 
 
 " For that requires no head." 
 
 ■^ 
 
 A Good JVi/e. 
 
 A B ATCHELOR would have a wife that's 
 
 wise. 
 Fair, rich, and young, a maiden, for his 
 
 bed; 
 Nor proud, nor churlish, but of faultless 
 
 size, 
 A country housewife, in the city bred. 
 But he's a fool, and long in vain hath staid. 
 He should bespeak her; there's none ready 
 
 made. 
 
 A Dear Present. 
 
 A HAMPER Dick sent me of wine. 
 As good, he said, as e'er was tasted — 
 And Dick may be supposed to know. 
 For he colitriv'd his matters so, 
 As every day with me to dine, 
 
 Much longer than the liquor lasted. 
 If such are presents, while I live, 
 O ! let me not receive, but give." 
 
 Coirpet's Homer. 
 
 ANY mad versions when like this see, 
 Animadifarsiom they will draw from UH".
 
 Interesthui Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams^ Poetry^ $;c 53 1 
 
 The Particul'irf of John Holloway 
 and Im Accomplice Owen [Jnggtr- 
 ti/, ivho was executed at the Old 
 Bulky, for the Murder of Mr. 
 John Cole Steele, on Hounslow 
 Heuth. 
 
 JOHN Holloway, alias Oliver, alias 
 Long Will, and his accomplice Owen 
 " Il^ggerty, alias Hiiigerty, was con- 
 vicled for the wilftil murder of Mr. 
 Joliii Cole Steele, on HounslowHeath, 
 Nov. 6, 1S02, and who suiTered for 
 llie same above four \ears after the 
 commission of the deed. This case 
 is not only remarkable for the circum- 
 stances attending it, but also for the 
 ' many serious accidents which happen- 
 ed at the place of execution. 
 
 The deceased a man of very respec- 
 table character, was proprietor of a 
 lavender-water warehouse, in Catha- 
 rine-street, Strand, and on the day 
 preceding his murder, (Nov. 5,) he 
 went to Bedfont, where he had a 
 plantation of lavender, to give instruc- 
 tions to his men ; but not returning 
 to his house in town according to his 
 usual custom, his friends became anxi- 
 ous for his safety; a strict search was 
 set on foot, and, after exploring dif- 
 ferent parts of Hounslow-heath, he 
 was found buried under a bush: part 
 of his forehead was entirely cut away, 
 and his head wounded in many places, 
 as was conjectured, with a bayonet. 
 They also discovered that, on his re 
 turn from Bedfont, he could not pro- 
 cure any kind of carriage, consequent- 
 ly was obliged to proceed to town on 
 foot. His boots and hat were taken 
 away; his pockets were cut entirely 
 off; and, from the circumstances of 
 a military hat being found at the 
 place, no doubt was entertained but 
 he was murdered by some soldiers. 
 A verdict of wilful murder against 
 some person or persons unknown was 
 brought in by the coroner's jury, 
 who had met for the investigation of 
 this business at the Ship, peblic-house. 
 
 November 1 2. The commission of 
 so atrocious a deed was soon known 
 throuirh all parts of the metropolis, 
 aufl the magistrates at Buw-slreet, 
 a!id otiier police-offices, with that 
 laudable industry which characterize 
 thsir proceedings, set on foot a strict 
 enquiry, in hopes of d scov.^ring the 
 murderers. They wrote to all parts 
 of the kingdom, describing the par- 
 ticulars; and the government uniting 
 their eft'orts, every person who quit- 
 ted tlie kingdom was subject to their 
 scrutinizing eye. Several persons were 
 taken up on suspicion of bt-ing tha 
 perpetrators, and among them two 
 labourers, who were heard quarrelling 
 at Biistol, and accusing each other of 
 shocking crimes; but it appeariuijthat 
 they were innocent of this chir^e, a 
 collection was made for them in tl\3 
 office. Sir R. Ford ordered them 
 three guineas, and a pass to Liver- 
 pool, indicative of their innocence. 
 Stiil no conclusive evidence or fact 
 could be brought home, so as to war« 
 rant the detaining of any person for 
 the crime, an! th- jmblic had to re- 
 gret that the ofilRuders remained un- 
 discovered. A circumstaiice occurred 
 about four vears afterwar<ls, which 
 led to the apprehension of John Hol- 
 loway and Owen Haggerty. Hoiloway 
 was a man apparently of great mus" 
 cular strengti), aged 39, tall and of a 
 savage, brutal, and ferocious counte- 
 nance, with large thick' lips, depressed 
 nose, and high cheek boiies. Hag- 
 gerly agfd 24, was of a feeble and 
 diminutive stature. A man of the 
 name of Benj . Hanfield, alias Entield, 
 who had been convicted at the Old 
 Bailey, July 3, 1S06\ of grand larceny, 
 was sentenced to seven years transpor- 
 tation. He was a tall and rather a 
 good-looking man, seemingly possess- 
 ed of a greater degree both of edt^ca- 
 tion and natural sagacity than tisually 
 fulls to the share of men in his 
 sphere of life. He was conveyed on 
 3 Y 2
 
 532 Literm 
 
 7/ Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 ■ board a hulk at Woolwicli, to await | 
 his departure for New South Wales ; 
 bnt having heen taken with a severe 
 illness, and tortured in his njind with 
 the recollection of the murder, al»oul 
 vhich he constantly raved, he said he 
 wished to make a discovery before he 
 died. A message was jmmediateK 
 dispatched to the police magistrates 
 al Bow-street, to communicate the 
 circumstance, and an nilicer was sent 
 to bring hin) before them. When lie 
 was brou«;lit on shore, they were 
 ©bliged to wait several days, his illness 
 not permitting his immediate removal. 
 On iiis arrival in town, the magistrates 
 sent him in custody of an othcer to 
 Hounslow- heath. He there pointed 
 out the filial spot where the nmrder 
 was perpetrated, and related all the 
 circumstances, which he alledged to 
 nave attended it ; and as his evidence 
 im})ircated Holloway and llaggerty, 
 measures were taken to apprehend 
 them. Several private examinations 
 ©fall the parties took place. Hanfield 
 uas admitted king's evidence, and 
 Holloway and Haggerty were fully 
 committed for trial, al the next quar- 
 ter sessions at the Old Bailey, which 
 came wn February 20, 1 807. before 
 Sir Simon Le Blanc, knight. Such 
 was the eager curiosity of the public 
 to know the issue of this trial, that 
 thp court was crowded at a very 
 eaily hour in the morning ; and 
 before the arrival of the judges, the 
 whole area in the Old Bailey was 
 completely crammed. The marquis 
 of Abercoin, and several other i)er- 
 sons of distinction, were upon the 
 bench. The indictment having been 
 read, and the prisoners having plead- 
 ed not guilty, Mr. Gurney, as council 
 for the prosecution, opened the case 
 He stated to the jury the charge upon 
 which the prisoners stood at the bar. 
 He said that doubtless the recollection 
 of the circuntstances of this melancho- 
 ly transaction was fresh in their me- 
 mory : he only inentioaed this, that 
 
 I 
 
 before (hey went into the box, they 
 would divest their minds from any 
 feelbigs arising froiii the naturo of the 
 crime. He then stated the particulars 
 of the deceased himself, btlove he 
 entered into a detail of the evidence. 
 Mr. Steele, he said, had left his house 
 in town on Friday, the 5lh of Nov. 
 IS02, giving his family to undcrstasid 
 that he should relinn next day. He 
 slept at Feltham that night ; and left 
 his house at Feltham, on Saturday- 
 evening, about seven o'clock, dressed 
 it) a drab-coloured great coat, boots, 
 and a hat: he did not return to town 
 that night, nor on Sui4day. This 
 caused alarm, and his brother-in- 
 law went to Feltham, and found that 
 he left his house on Saturday. A 
 number of persons were dispatched to 
 look for hinj in different directions. 
 After a search of some time, in vari- 
 ous parts of Hounslow-heath, in a 
 ditch situated in a clunip of trees, at 
 the distance of about five or six hun- 
 dred yards fron» the barracks at Felt- 
 ham, the body was found with his 
 face covered with blood ; a violent 
 blow seemed to have been inflicted on 
 the back part of the head, with a 
 fracture on the forehead, and a lea- 
 thern strap tied very tight around the 
 neck; and by the side of the body 
 was found a large bludgeon, a pair of 
 old shoes, and an old hat trimmed 
 with worsted binding; at some dis- 
 tance on the other side of the road 
 were discovered several marks of 
 blood. The body seemed to have 
 been dragged some distance. Dili- 
 gent searcit was made, but the perpe- 
 trators were not discovered. Towards 
 the close of the year 1S06, information 
 was received by Mr. Nares, that a 
 person of the name of Hanfield, who 
 was convicted in this court of stealing 
 last sessions, had, while in confine- 
 ment, dropped some expressions in- 
 dicating something relative to this 
 event. Application was made to the 
 secretary of state to procure bis ma-
 
 Interesting Narraiires, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poefri/, 8fc. 533 
 
 jesty's pardon for him, he beitsg then 
 under senftnce nf tiansporlation, and 
 not capable of being received as a 
 witness in Ihe tiinl of hisHrconijiiices, 
 His majesty wis accordinglv (iracious 
 ]y pleased to grani him a lull pardon, 
 and a proper i lUcer was seut to con- 
 duct iiim from I he hulks at Ports- 
 mouth ; and he was carried up lo 
 town, and brought before !he niaj;i- 
 strates at Worsliip-street Tlie learneti 
 counsel then observed, that ti)e evi- 
 dence was to be looked to with Ji:e 
 utmost jealousy and cau'icn. 1 iiis ac- 
 complice, he sai<i, sto .d in a difit rent 
 light from all others. It was also tme, 
 that though he had been convicted 
 of felony, l«e was not now under con- 
 viction for that otlenre, for he had re- 
 ceived his n;ajest)'s pardon uiufer tlie 
 great seal ; and it was tiieir <luly, by 
 comparing hi!> evidence with other 
 corroborating circumstances, to give 
 that credit to liis testimony which 
 appearances n)i^ht warrant. Mr. 
 Gurney closed his speech, by entreat- 
 ing the jury to proceed with that cir- 
 cumspection which the importance of 
 the subject demanded, as it concerned 
 the lives of the unforturuite nien at 
 the bar. Mr. Meyer, the brother-in- 
 law to the deceased, corroborated the 
 facts as usual as stated by the learned 
 couJisel in his opening. He very mi- 
 nutely described the particulars as 
 they transpired, and added such ob- 
 servations as had since come to the 
 knowledge of the relations of the de- 
 ceased. Mr. H. Manny said, he was 
 inspector to the works of the late Mr. 
 Steele, at Feltham, at the time this 
 transaction took place. He well re- 
 collected that Mr.Steeie, thedeceased, 
 was there on Saturday, the 6th of 
 November, and that he left Feltham 
 about seven o'clock in the evening, 
 with the intention of returning to town. 
 The witness now entered iiito a de- 
 scription of his dress, which corres- 
 ponded with the account given before 
 the coroner. William Pugh, who was 
 
 next called, said, that in the month 
 of Novendjer, 180'.?, he was, in con- 
 serpiencc uf a report that the deceased 
 was missing, employed to search for 
 tile body; that accordingly himself, 
 with several others, entered upon a 
 strict search, in which they W'eie ul- 
 timately successful, Tisat the body 
 was found lying at the bottom of a 
 ditch near a chimp of trees, a short 
 distance frnu) tho barracks. Tiie wit- 
 ness described very minutely the |W)si- 
 tion ol the body, and the wounds that 
 were at first perceptible. Air. H. 
 Frogh-y, a surgeon, of Hounslow, was 
 t u)})ioyed to exmnine the i>ody at the 
 iime it lay at 'he Ship public-house, 
 for the corout-r's jury; and he gave 
 it as his decided opinion, that Mr. 
 Steele certainly died in consequence 
 of the violent bruises he received. 
 The witness e.\an)ined the body of 
 the diseased, and found not only an 
 extensive frijcture on the forehead, 
 sufficient to occasion death, with la- 
 ceration on the ligaments, but also a 
 great liberation on the back part of 
 the head, and s'Miie severe bruises on 
 the upper part of the rig!,t arm. In- 
 deed the horrid and inhi:mun perpe- 
 trators of this atrocious deed, seemed 
 to have exercised their utmost cruelty 
 on the ujifortuiiate victim, who niusf, 
 for some considerable time, after they 
 K ft him, have reniained in a state of 
 miserable suffering. For the better 
 illustration of the testimony ada*uced, 
 a sketch of Hounslow-heath (by Mr. 
 KiHnaird)was now produced in court. 
 The king's pardon, under the great 
 seal, lo Hantield, remitting his sen- 
 tence of trajisportation for seven years, 
 for a larceny which he had been con- 
 victed of, and restoring him to his 
 competency as a witness, was read by 
 Mr. Shelton, clerk of the arraigns. 
 Benjamin Hanlield, the accomplice, 
 was then examined ; he said he Knew 
 Haggerty ei<jht or nine years, and 
 Holloway six or seven. Thev were 
 accustomed to meet at the Blacltt
 
 53i Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, JVonderful Events^ 
 
 WoT'-e, and Turk's Head public- houses, 
 in Dyot-street. Witness was in their 
 company in the mon^h of iSlovember, 
 1802. Holloway, ju»l before (he 
 inuider, called him out from the 
 Tuik's Head, and asked hnn if he 
 had any objection to be in a oood 
 thing? He replied he liad not. H(d- 
 loway said it was a *• no loby," menii- 
 ing a footpad robbery. Witness a^ked 
 wlien and «heie, he said he would 
 Jet him know. They parted, and two 
 days after ihey met again, and Satur- 
 day, the 6th of November was ap- 
 pointed. Witness as^kod who was to go 
 with them. He replied that Haof»err\ 
 had aj^reed to m.ike one. I'hey all 
 three met on the Saturday, at the 
 Black Horse, when Holloway said, 
 their business was to "sarve" a gen- 
 tlemen on Hounslow-heath, who he 
 understood travelled ibat road with 
 property. They then drank tor three 
 or four hours, and about the middle 
 of the day they set oft' for Hounslow. 
 They stopped at the Bell public-hcuse, 
 and took some porter. They pro- 
 ceeded from thence upon the road to- | 
 wards Belfont, and expressed their 
 hope they should pet a good booty. 
 1 hey sif)pped near thfe eleventh mile- 
 stone, and secreted themselves in a 
 clump of trees. While there, the 
 moon got up, and Holloway said, 
 they had come too soon. Alter loi- 
 tering about a considerable time, 
 Hoflovvay said, he heard a footstep, 
 and they proceeded towards Bellont. 
 They pre^ently saw a man coming to- 
 wards them, and on approaching him, 
 they ordered him to stop, which he 
 iiDmediately did. Holloway went 
 round hinr, and told him to deliver. 
 He said ihcy should have his monev, 
 rind luiped they would not ill-use him. 
 The deceased put his- band in his 
 pocket, and gave Haggerty his monev. 
 Witnei.s demandod his pocket-book. 
 He n plied, that he had none. Hol- 
 loway insisted that he had a book, 
 and if he did not deliver it, he would 
 
 knock him down. Witness then laid 
 hold of his legs. Holloway stood at; 
 his head, and swore if he (the de- 
 ceascd( cried out he would knock out 
 his brains. The decea'.ed again said, 
 he hoped they would not ill-use him. 
 Hanger ty proceeded so search him, 
 when the deceased made some resis- 
 tance, and struggled so much, that 
 they got across the road. He cried 
 out severely; and as a carriage was 
 coming up, Holloway said, " Take 
 
 care, I will silence the — • " 
 
 and immediately struck him several 
 violent blows on the head and body. 
 The deceased heaved a heavy groan, 
 and stretched himself out lifeless. 
 Witness felt alarmed, and said, " John 
 you have killed the man ;" H(dloway 
 replied, that it was a lie, for he was 
 only stunned. Witness said he would 
 stay no longer, and immediately set 
 otf towards London, leaving Holloway 
 and Haggerty with the body. Wit- 
 ness came to Hounslow, and slopperl. 
 at the end cf the town for near an 
 hour. Holloway and Haggerty then 
 came up, and said, they had done 
 the trick, and, as a token, put the 
 deceased's hat into witness's hands 
 The hat Holloway went down in was 
 like a soldier's hat. Witness told Hol- 
 loway it was a cruel piece of business, 
 and that he was sorry he had any hand 
 \n it. They all turned down a lane, 
 and returned to London. As they 
 came along, witness asked Holloway 
 if he had got the pocket-book. He 
 replied, it was no matter, for as he 
 (tlie witness) had refused to share the 
 danger, he should not share the booty. 
 Ihey came to the Black Horse in Dy- 
 ot-street, had half a pint of gin, and 
 p.arted. Haggerty went down in 
 ■^hoes, but witness did not know if he 
 came back in them. The next day 
 he observed Holloway had a hat upon 
 his head, which was too small for 
 him. Witness asked him if it was 
 I he same he got the preceding nighf. 
 He said it was. They met again on
 
 Interesting Nan^atives, Etngmas, Epigrams^ Poetry^ 8)-c. 535 
 
 xhe Monday, wlien witness told Hoi 
 loway that he acted impnidenlly in 
 wearing the hat, as it miijht lead to ;i 
 discovery. He put the, hat into wit- 
 ness's hand, who observed tlie ii'inn 
 of Steele in it. Witness repeated hi- 
 fears. At night HoUoway brought 
 the hat in a handkerchief, and thi \ 
 went to Westminsler-bridoe, filled the 
 hat with stones, and, having tied tin 
 lining over it, threw it into the Thames. 
 Being cross examined, this witness 
 said, he had made no other minutes j 
 of the transactions he had been de- 
 tailing, than what hi!> Conscience took 
 cognizance of. It was accident thai 
 led to this disclosuie. He was talk- 
 ing with other prisoners in Newgate of 
 particular robberies that had taken 
 place; and thfi Honnslow robbery 
 and murder being stuied amongst 
 others, he inadvei tently said, tliat 
 there were only ihice persons who 
 knew of that transaction. The re- 
 mark was circulated and observed 
 upon, and a rumour ran through the 
 prison, that he was about to turn 
 " nose,"* and he was obliged to hold 
 his tongue lest he should be ill-used. 
 
 When at Porlsmouth, onboard the 
 hulks, the compunctions of consci- 
 ence came upon him, and he was 
 oblicjed to dissipate liis thoughts by 
 drinking, to prevent him from divulg- 
 ing all he knew. At last he Wrtsques 
 lioned by Sir John C^irter ; and an of- 
 ficer liaving arrived from London, lie 
 made a full confession. He admitted 
 that he had led a vicious life, that he 
 had been concerned in several rob- 
 beries, and had entered and deserted 
 from several regiments. He liad 
 strved iit the east and west Lon- 
 don militias, Iiad enlisted into the 
 9'h and 1-i-th liglit dragoons, and had 
 been in the army of re.«>erve. He 
 added, that he was ashanud and sorry 
 at what he had been, and would en- 
 deavour to mend his life in future. 
 
 1. e, iniorajer. 
 
 John Vickery stated, that he was an 
 officer belonging to Worship-Street, 
 asid that, in conserjuence of informa- 
 tion received by John Nares, Esq. 
 rhe supcrintendatit of the otiice in 
 Worship-Street, he had been sent to 
 Portsmouth to bring up Hanfieid, 
 who was then confined on board the 
 hulks, waiting to be transj.orttd with 
 others, puisuant to his sentence. He 
 was innnediateiy delivered into his 
 custody by the captain of t!ie hulks, 
 and thty returned to London. As 
 they passed across the iieath of Houn- 
 slow, on the fop of the coach, Han- 
 lieUl pointed to a spot near a clump 
 , o trees, just at the eleven mile-stone, 
 which he said was the place where the 
 m.urder bad been conmiitted; but 
 they then had no further conversation 
 on the subject, as they wtre sur- 
 rounded by people on the top of the 
 coach. HiUiHelu', on his arrival in 
 town, underwent an examination ; in 
 consequence of which, he and the 
 witness went together to Hounslow, 
 They stopped at the Bell Inn, whence 
 tiiey proceeded to the heath ; when 
 Haidield again pointed out the place 
 where the crime was perpetrated, 
 which the witness thought exactly the 
 same as thai pointed out by the for- 
 mer witnesses, detailing tlie circum- 
 stances of the murder, previt/us to 
 i'.is escape from liis companions, in 
 almost the same words as he described 
 them to the court. The witness and 
 he returned Jo town. Sof)n after, the 
 wiines» appreliended Holloway'at 
 Srentford, dnritsg the late elecfio?), 
 and brought him to town. Wiien he 
 was exatuined brfjic the presidium 
 magistrate of Worship-Street otiice, 
 he dtclared lie wns totally innocent ; 
 but added, " If they would let him 
 no, lu: would down on bis knees to 
 both the magisliate and the witness." 
 File prisoner Holioway was remanded 
 fir further examination. The witness 
 went dowii to Deal, where he ajjjne- 
 hended the pri:^oiU'r Ha^gerty, oij
 
 556 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events^ 
 
 board the Shiinnnn-f'rif;ate as a ma- 
 rine. When the witness apprehended 
 him, he was in a very bad state of 
 health, so much so, that he was 
 oblised to be left behind, not beinu 
 able to bear the f.itijzue of iemf)val. 
 The wilness took an opportunity of 
 asking liin>, in the presence of his 
 captain where he had been about three 
 \ears ago ? Tfie prisoner Answered, 
 he was thv.n enipl»y<d in Lon(h)n as 
 a day-labourer. The witness then 
 a-iked him where he had been at that 
 time four years? The prisoner di- 
 rectly turned pale, and would have 
 fainted away, had not water been ad- 
 ministered to him. Soon after, his 
 health was so far restored as t(» per- 
 mit his beins; removed to town, when 
 he and the other prisoner underwent 
 several examinations. T. Crnker, a 
 Bow-street otHcer, rt ollecfcd seeing 
 about four years ago, Haggerty and 
 Hanlield together, near the Seven 
 Dials, and in the Turk's Head. In 
 this he was corroborated by the state- 
 ment of one Limerick, another o(]icer. 
 J. M'Donald, keeper of the Black- 
 Horse, Dyot-Streel, kr.ew both llie 
 prisoners, and the prosecutor Han- 
 field; bad frequently seen Hantield 
 and Haggerty in the same box in itis 
 taj^vroom. NVilliam Beale, keeper of 
 the Turk's Head, said, lie had seen 
 them also at the same time in his tap- 
 room, but was not certain of their 
 being comrades. Jolm Peierson liad 
 been a pot-boy at the Turk's Head, 
 and had frequently drawn beer for the 
 prisoners ; but could not say they 
 were on terms of intimacy tojjether. 
 John Sawer lived, in 1S05, at Houn- 
 slow, at tlie Hell, where he saw the 
 two pris(tners frequently ; but could 
 not be certain of seeing them in com- 
 pany together. John Nares, Esq. 
 the nv.ioistrate, said, that the pri- 
 soners were examined by him apart, 
 when Hanfiehl was produced in evi- 
 dence against Ihem. Ho then read 
 Irom a I'aper the examination of Hag- 
 
 gerty, in which he denied knowing 
 atiy Ihina of either Hanfield or Hollo- 
 wav, or being at the Tuik's Head or 
 Black horse, porter-houses, Hag- 
 2erfv acknowledged he had been in 
 confinetnent iii July, 1802, in Tot- 
 h ill-Fields. Alter this liberation, he 
 ■>aid, he worked for some time ''ith 
 Mr. Smith, of Castle-street, as a 
 plasterer; that his working dress was 
 usually a j;reen velveteen jacket and 
 smidl clothes. Being conlronied af-' 
 (erwards with Mr, Smith, who de- 
 nied his having ever been employed 
 by him, he said — " That since they 
 had blithered him so about it, he 
 would give them no information on 
 the subji;ct." The same paper stated, 
 that Hollowav harl acknowledged he 
 knew Hanfiehl and Haggerty; but 
 had never <irank in their company ; 
 had never been at Hounslow in his 
 hie. He alle<jed he had worked for a 
 Mr. R«sc, and others, in November, 
 1802. which, on application, was 
 found to be inaccurate, as he had not 
 worked for them until March, I 803. 
 James Bishop, a police officer, staled, 
 that in the rear of the police olFice ia 
 Worship-street are some strong rooms, 
 for the safe keeping of prisoners pend- 
 ing their successive examinations. In 
 two ot t-hese rooms adjacent to each ' 
 other, and separated by a strong par- 
 tition, the prisoners were separately 
 coiifined, and immediately behind 
 these rooms is a privy. In this privy 
 he took pest regularly, after eacli 
 successive day's examination ; and, as 
 the privy went behind both rooms, he 
 could distinctly overhear the conver- 
 sation of the prisoners, as they spoke 
 pretty awdibly to each other from 
 either side of the partition. Of this 
 conversation he took notes, whicii 
 were afterwards copied out fairly, 
 and proved before the magistrates ; 
 and which he, on this occasion, read 
 as his evidence in court. Mr. An- 
 drews, counsel for the prisoners, ob- 
 jected to this sort of evidence, it 
 
 i 
 I 
 
 H 
 
 il
 
 Tnferesh'nff Ndrratirpft^ Ejiigmns, F.pigrams;, Poefrv^ 8>;c. 537 
 
 hcino inipos-«ible, lie saiii, ihat llic ■ 
 otficf rs C()ii!(l overhear all lliat was 
 .sftici, iuid lliat the coiivprsalioiis tliii^ 
 muiiiarud might be m:^c<nisiruid :* 
 Ucsidos, the mimls oi ulTic^T?, for tht' 
 s;t!\e cf reward, weyc always p'CJM 
 dicei! ai»ai()"5t the p:i^^)IlCIs. I!is oh- 
 JL-ctions however, were over-ruled by 
 the court. These convcr>ations run 
 t« a very considerable length ; bin 
 llir; material points were few. Tlit-y 
 sill-wed, lM)wcver, Iroin the words ot 
 llu^ prisoners' own conversation, thai 
 all they had said before the n)a^l^ 
 irates, in the denial of any acquain- 
 tance with each oilier or with Han- 
 field, was totally false, and a mere 
 stratagem to taffle the testimony ol 
 the latter, who they hoped had se- 
 cureil his own execuiion by confessing 
 his siuilt, without being able to proi.p 
 their's, for they were confident the 
 magistrates would not believe his tes- 
 timony; and that there was no other 
 \vitne?s to prnve any clue to the fact, 
 or saw them together near Houirslow 
 where, fiom the who^e connected to- 
 nour of their conversation, it was 
 clear they had been on the night of 
 the murder. But one strong point 
 seemed to remove every doubt: liag- 
 gerty asl;ed Holloway, after one of 
 the latter examinations, " Where did 
 Hanlield say we had the gin that 
 niglit, after we came to town?" To 
 whirh HoUoway answered, " At the 
 Black Horse, in Dyot-street." Hag- 
 ge'ty then ropliedj " It must be at 
 the Black Huise we had the gin sure 
 enougli." John Smith, a coachman 
 to the Go-port coach, in the month 
 of November, 1802, near eight 
 o'clock in the evening of the abyve 
 mentioned day, heard, as he passed 
 across Hounslow-heaih, on the right- 
 hand side of the road, near the eleven 
 mile-stone, two groans, the last more 
 
 • The impropriety ol' re.uiing extracU 
 from letters, lias l^een since v»'arinly del)atcd 
 in (Ire iiarliamc-.t hoiixe, and certainly Itiese 
 mutilated coavtrsationt vrere equally cb- 
 
 fairit than the otiier; on which he 
 remarked to ^ome on the outside of 
 the coach, that, " there was some- 
 thing desperate carrying on there." 
 Isaac Ciayti-n, headle of Honnslow, 
 said, he received a pair of shoes and 
 a ^lick tiom some person he does not 
 recodeci, just after the murder ot Mr, 
 St<-ele : he lecoilected, near six years 
 a-^o, seeing HbMoway in company 
 with a man of the same name, who 
 had a wooden leg, about the town of 
 Ilounslow, and ha*^ seen him also at 
 Brentfoid election, and other places. 
 The prisoner himself acknowledged he 
 knew him, when examined in Wor- 
 >hip-street. Joseph Townsend, po- 
 Ice officer of Worship-street, pro- 
 duced a huge knotty bludgeon, a pair 
 of shoes, and a hat, which hid been 
 given several years ago to Clayton, 
 l>y Hughes, and was delivered to him 
 by Clavton. J. Blackmail, an officer, 
 kn-rvv Haggerty seven years, Hanfiehl 
 five \eais, and llolloway a year and 
 a half. About four years ago, he had 
 often seen them togetlier at the Turk's 
 Head, when he conversed with Ilvg- 
 geity, and observed to hira he had 
 been lately in a good thing, as his 
 die-s was much improved; the pri- 
 soner said, he had left it all off now, 
 ^s he was serving a plasterer, near 
 Houiislow. He was dressed in a 
 green velvetr-en jacket, and small 
 clothes. A hat was then produced in 
 court, which had been the property 
 1)1" the deceased, by whom it was 
 given to a servant man, who had 
 since worn it almost to rags. The 
 liat had been very much widened in 
 the wearing, and vvhen placed on 
 Holloway's head, appeared rather 
 too large for him. William Robin- 
 ■^on, halter to the deceased, stated, 
 I hat ihs hat ntust have been enlarged 
 by wearing, as he had Mr. Steele's 
 
 jectiunahle or the niatjiT nut ov. rheard' 
 or purposely sa;jprr««rd, nii^^iii have altered 
 the meaning of tbo^eseotences. 
 
 1 3 z
 
 538 Literary Ciiriostties, Epitaphs^ Wonderfvl Events, 
 
 measure in 1802, and could answer f 
 for it, that the di-ceased's hat must 
 nearly fit the prisoner llolloway, as 
 their heads were nearly the same size. 
 WilhaiH Britten, shoe-niaker, knew 
 well the deceased's measure, and 
 thought his boot? would fit the pri- 
 soner Haggerty. The siioes produced 
 in court, lie said, lie had tried on the 
 prisoner, and found them raiher too 
 lari;e; but, added, that it was plain, 
 from the manner the hind quiiiter of 
 the shoe had fallen inwards, that they 
 were too large for their original wear- 
 er. The prosecution being closed, 
 the prisoners were called on to make 
 their defence. Haggerty protested 
 he was completely innocent of the 
 charge, was totally ignorant of the 
 prosecutor Hanfield, denied ever being 
 at Hoiinslow, and endeavoured to 
 point out some inconsistencies in the 
 evidence which had been adduced by 
 Hanfield. Holloway declared he was 
 equally innocent of the charge; but 
 admitted he had been at Hounslow 
 more than once, might have been in 
 the company of the prisoners Hagger- 
 ty and Hanfield, but was not acquaint- 
 ed with either of them. The prisoners' 
 counsel then produced, as a witness 
 for the prisoners, John Shuter, one of 
 the head-turnkeys of the goal, in whose 
 custody Hanfield had been for some 
 time. He then proceeded to ask some 
 questions, tending to invalidate Han- 
 field's evidence; but, as the witness 
 could state nothing from his own 
 knowledge, he was not permitted to 
 be further examined. Mr. Justice Le 
 Blanc summed up the evidence in a 
 very clear and perspicuous manner, 
 making some very humane observa- 
 tions upon the nature of the testimony 
 given by accomplices, recommending 
 t> the jury lo divest themselves of 
 every feeling but that of strict justice; 
 and to compare with the precision the 
 circumslafifial evidence (which was 
 the only evidence to be attained in 
 Mest euses of mnrder, on account of 
 
 its usual secrecy) with the direct and 
 positive testimony of the apprt)ver 
 Hatdield. He admitted that such 
 testimony should be received with 
 caution ; >et such strong collateral 
 evidence must have its due weight Hnd 
 influence on their verdict. The jury 
 retiied for about a quarter of an hour 
 and relumed with a verdict of- Guilt y 
 against both the prisoners. The re- 
 corder immediately passed sentence 
 in the most solemn and impressive 
 manner, and the unhappy men were 
 ordered for execution on the following 
 Monday morning. They went from 
 the bar protesting their innocence, 
 and a|)parently careless of tlie miser- 
 able and ignomiHiousfate that awaited 
 them. The same indifference was 
 manifested during the short time al- 
 lotted them. On Saturday, February 
 21, the cell-door. No. 1, in which 
 they werq both confined, was opened 
 about half-past two; and upon Mason, 
 the turnkey, asking Holloway, if he 
 should want any thing at four o'clock, 
 he replied, " Yes, you may bring me 
 some tea and toast." Mason then said, 
 '• Where's Haggerty ?" who immedi- 
 ately and cheerfully answereel, "Why 
 here I am, where else should I be ]" 
 *' Why, Haggerty, I did not know 
 you," rejoined Mason, you're shaved 
 and quite clean." •' Well, suppose I 
 am," answered Haggerty laughing, 
 " there's no harm in being clean." 
 They were reading in two prayer- 
 books, by candle-light, as the cell is 
 very dark. On Sunday, neither of 
 them attended the condemned sermon 
 as in cases of murder offenders are de- 
 prived of the benefit of the clergy, nor 
 does the bell of St. Sepulchre toll dur- 
 ing the solemnity of their execution. 
 On Sunday, several magistrates in- 
 terrogated them; one of whom with 
 great acuteness, put the following very 
 forcible and ingenious questions to 
 Holloway : *' Why do you not make 
 all the reparation to society that re- 
 mains in your power, during your bg-vv
 
 Tnteresihfff Narratives^ Etthpnas, Epfqrams, Po/'fri/, Sfc. 539 
 
 flt'f iiig existtMice ? Yon are a man of 
 tourai^t- though perhiips perverted, 
 and should not allow vour rtiemory Ic 
 be under a stigma of a fou! iinputa- 
 lion ; therefore, why nt)t confess. — 
 If all the world were all to appear for 
 you, I should sJill be convinced of 
 your ifuilt, thi u h I do not think tlia) 
 you really meant to murder Mr 
 Steele ; but ih it the crime was oc- 
 casioned by the sudden and unexpect- 
 ed arrival of the Gosport coach. An! 
 ] riuht," (sj)e;d;ini; (piick purpo>e-y ' 
 Hohoway (suddenly) — " Well, I will 
 say (then afur an awdulpaure) — 
 Never uiind, I'm innocent." The 
 wigistrate — " Did you murder Mr 
 Steele ?" Holioway. — " Ni>, I did 
 not." — The magistrate- — " Were you 
 present then, or do you know any 
 thing of (he transaction?" To this 
 truly important que.stion Holioway 
 made no answer ; and, whenever the 
 same question was reiterated, remain- 
 ed silent. During the whole of Sun- 
 day tiight, the convicts were engaged 
 in prayer, never slept, but broke the 
 awful stillness of midnight by frequent 
 protestations of reciprocal innocence. 
 At five, they were called, dressed and 
 shaved, and about seven were brought 
 into the press-yard, where Lords Sef- 
 ton, Paget, and' Kinnaird, Mr. Wil- 
 son, Alderman Flower, &c. &c. were 
 assembled. There was some difficulty 
 in knocking oft' the irons of Haggerty : 
 lie voluntarily assisted, though he seem- 
 ed much dejected, but by no means 
 pusillanimous. A message was then 
 delivered to the sheriffs, purporting 
 that Holioway wanted to speak with 
 them in private. This exci'ed very 
 sanguine expectations of confession ; 
 but the sheiitFs, on their return inti- 
 mated to the gentlemen in the press- 
 yard, that Holioway wanted to ad- 
 dress them publicly; and therefore 
 requested they would form themselves 
 into a circle, from the centre of which 
 Holioway delivered, in the most so- 
 lemn manner, the following energetic 
 
 I address : — " Gentlemen, I am quite 
 innocent of tliis afi'air. I nevrr was 
 with Hanfield ; nor do I know the 
 ^P'>t. I will kneel and swear it" He 
 then knelt flown, and imprecated 
 curses on his head, if he were not 
 innocent, and expressed, " By God, 
 I am innocent." Owen Haggerly as- 
 cended the scaffold. His arms were 
 pinioned, and the haller round his 
 neck : he wore a white cap and 
 a light olive shag great coat : he 
 looked downwards, and was silent. 
 He was attenilcd by the Rev. Mr, 
 Griffith, a Roman Catholic clergyman, 
 who read to him, and to whom the 
 unfortunate culprit seemed to pay 
 great attention: he made no public 
 acknowledgement of either guilt or 
 innocence. After the executioner tied 
 the fatal noose, he brought up Johti 
 Holioway, who wore a smock frock 
 and jacket, as it had been stated by 
 the approver that he did at the time 
 of the murder: He had also a white 
 cap on ; was pinioned, and had a 
 halter round his neck : he had his hat 
 in his hand ; and, mounting the scaf- 
 fold, he jumped and made an awk- 
 ward bow, and said, *' I am innocent, 
 innocent, innocent, by God !" He 
 then turned round, and bowin^, made 
 use of the same expressions, " InnO' 
 cent, innocent, innocent ! Gentlemen ! 
 — No verdict! ]\o verdict ! I\'o ver- 
 dict ! Gentlemen — Innocent! inno- 
 cent!" At this moment, and while 
 in tlie act of saying something more, 
 the executioner proceeded to do his 
 office, by placing the cap over the face 
 of Hoiloway ; to which he with ap- 
 parent reluctance complied ; at the 
 same time uttering some words. As 
 >oon as the rope was fixed round his 
 iieck, he continued quiet. He was 
 Ufended in hi.s devotions by the Rev. 
 Mr. Knight, assistant at the Rev. 
 rlowland Hill's chapel. The last that 
 '!i(»unted the scaffold was Elizabeth 
 'lodfrey. She was a woman of the 
 >own, aged 31^, who had been capital!^ 
 3 z2
 
 540 JJterarij Curiosities^ Epitaphs^ Woynlerfid Events, 
 
 conviclfd of the wilful nuuder of 
 Kii liard Prince, in Mary-le bme pa- 
 rish, on the '25\h of Dec. I 806",()y i;iv- 
 iiiy him a iif rial wound withii p.ocket 
 knife in the .'eft e\<% of uhich vv(»iii:d 
 he languished and died. Immediitelv 
 on lereiviiij: seiittnce. this Honi;»i!'v 
 fimijU'PS and recoUeetioii seemed l<. 
 fail her, and she appeared borrlerinj; 
 upnti a stale ( f phrenzy. At tie place 
 of execution she wasdie.'sed in white, 
 vvilh a close cauand Umj, sleeves, and 
 was attended by tiie Rev. Mr Ford, 
 the ordinary of Newg*ile; hut her 
 feelings appeared to be so i^-uch over- 
 powered, tliat notwithstanliiii; she 
 bore the appearance of re.'''onati<;n in 
 her countenance, her w hole frame wa^ 
 so shaken by the terror of her situa- 
 tion, tliat she was inrajcible of any 
 actual devotion. They were ail 
 launched i.ff together, at about a 
 quarter after eijihl. It was a long lime 
 before the body of tha poor female 
 se: Uied to h:negoiie through its last 
 suti^ liltg. 
 
 7'he crowd which assembled to 
 witness this execution was iiKparallel- 
 td, being according to the best calcu- 
 lation, nearly 40,000; and the fatal 
 catastrophe, which happened in con 
 sequence, will cause the day long to 
 be remembered. By eight o'clock 
 not ail inch of ground was unoccupied 
 in view of the platform. The pressure 
 of ihe crowd was such, that before 
 the malefactors appeared, numbers of 
 persons were crying out in vain to 
 escape fronj it ; the atterept only tend- 
 ed to increase the confusion. Several 
 females of low stature, who had been 
 so imprudent as to venture amongst 
 the mob, were in a dismal situation : 
 their cries were dreadful. Some who 
 could no longer be supported by the 
 men, were sufllrcd to tall, and were 
 trampled to death. This was also the 
 case with several men and boys. In 
 all parts there were coniinued crii s of 
 murder/ murder! particularly from 
 the ffcinaie part of the spectators and 
 
 chilflren, some of whom were seen 
 expiring without the possibility of ob- 
 taining the least assistance, every one 
 being emphned in endeavours to pre- 
 serve his owi! life. The moiit aftlclin^ 
 scene of disttet? was seen at the end 
 of Green-Arbi ur-Court, neatly oppo- 
 site Ihe debtor's (h.or. 
 
 I he teiribie occurence which took 
 olace near this spot was aUribviled 
 to the cirrnn.stitnce of two pienien- 
 altej'.diiig there to dijpose of their 
 pies, and one of them having his 
 basket ovtrthrown, which stood upon 
 i sort of stotd with four ieg-i, soiufi 
 of the mob not being aware of what 
 had happened and at the same tii-fce 
 seven ly pressed, fell over the basket 
 nd the man at the moment he was 
 pickirg of it up, together witii its 
 contents. Those who once fell were 
 never more suffered to rrse, sue b ftas 
 the violence of (he mob. At this fatal 
 place, a man of the name of lierring- 
 ion was thrown down, who had in his 
 hMu\ his y»ui!gest son, a hue boy 
 about twelve years of age. The youtli 
 was soon trampled to death: Ihs 
 father recovered, though much bruis- 
 ed, and was amongst the wounded 
 ill St. Bartholomew's Hospital. A 
 woman, who was so impiudent as to 
 bring with her a child at the breast, 
 was one of the number killed ; whilst 
 in the act of falling, she forced the 
 child into the arms of the man nearest 
 !o her, requesting him for God's sake 
 to save its life : the man, finding it 
 required all his exertion to preserve 
 kimself, threw the infant from him, 
 but it was fortunately caught at a 
 distance by another man, who finding 
 it dirticnlt to ensure its safety or his 
 own, got rid of it in a similar way. 
 The child was again caught by a 
 person who contrived to struggle with 
 It to a cart, under which he deposited 
 it until th« danger was over, and the 
 mob had dispersed. In other parts 
 the pressure was so great, that a hor- 
 rible scene of confusion eusued, and
 
 InterestiiHj Narrathes, Enigmas j Epigrams, Poetry^ ^c. hi\ 
 
 seven persons lost their lives by suffo- 
 cation ainne. It was f-lidckijig to be- 
 hi>i.l a larj:o body of the crowd, as 
 ene coiivuisive slrui^gle lor life, hs;h! 
 willi tile savage fury with eacii oilier: 
 the consequence was, that the weak- 
 est, particul !ily t!ie wonifii, fell ;i 
 sacrifice. A cart, which was over 
 lt>.idetl with spectator?, broke down, 
 and some of the persons falliuij from 
 the vehicle, were trampled under | 
 foot and never recovered. During | 
 the hour the inr'lefartors lnuis, iiltle 
 as-sisJaiice could be atiorded to the un- ' 
 hiippy sufferers; but, after liie bodies 
 were cut down, and the ^.'allows re- 
 moved to the Old Bailey Yaid, ihe 
 marshals and constables citared the 
 street where Ihe catastrophe occurred, 
 and, sho< kini; to relate, there lay near 
 100 |)ersons dead, or in a state of in 
 sensibility, stiewed round the street. 
 TwentyseV' n dead bodies were taken 
 to St. Barlhoioinew's Hospital ; four 
 to Si. Sepulchre's church; one to the 
 Swan on Snow-Kill ; one to a public 
 house opposite St. Andrew's church, 
 Holborn ; one, an apprentice, to his 
 master's, Mr. Broadwood, piano-forte 
 maker, Golden-Square ; n mother 
 was seen carrvini: away the body of 
 htr dead boy; Mr. Harrison a re- 
 spectable gentleman, was taken to 
 his house al Molloway. There was a 
 sailor boy killed opposite Newgate, 
 by suffocation: he carried a small 
 bag, in which he had some bread and 
 cheese, as it is supposed he came 
 stnwe distance to behold the execution. 
 After the dead, d>ini:, and wounded 
 were carried away, there was a cart 
 load of shoes, petticoats, and other 
 articles of wearing aj'iparel, picked up. 
 Until four o'clock in the afternoon, 
 most of the surrounding houses had 
 some person in a wounded state : 
 they were afterwards taken away 
 by their friends on shutters, or iu 
 hackney coaches. The doors of St. 
 Bartholomew's Hospital were closed 
 against the populace. After the bo- 
 
 dies of the dead were stripped and 
 washed, they were r;inj;ni r<und a 
 ward, on the first floor on the woiiiau's 
 aide; they were piactd on the tioor 
 with si)eets over ;hen), and their 
 clolhes }>tit as pillows under tlitir 
 heads ; their fates were uncovered : 
 fh»re was a rail alonf; the centre of the 
 room : the persons who were adniit- 
 led to see the shocking spectacle went 
 up on one side, and returned out on 
 the other. Until two <»'clock, the 
 entrances to the hospital were beset 
 with molliers weeping for S' as! wives 
 for their husbands ! and sisters for 
 their brothers ! various iiidividnils 
 for their relatives and friends ! — 
 Seldom lia^ saeh a scene of distress 
 and misery presented itself ill this 
 metropolis ! When the gates were 
 opened, a great concourse was ad- 
 mitted ; and when the yard was full, 
 the gates were again close*!, until tiie 
 lirst visitors retired from this sceue 
 of woe : as soon as any of the deceas- 
 ed were recognised, the body was ei- 
 ther put into a shell, or the face"covei- 
 ed over, with the name of the party 
 written on a paper, and pinned over 
 the body. The next day (Tuesday) 
 a coroner's inquest sut in St. Bartho- 
 lomew's Hospital on the remains of 
 the sufferers. Several witnesses were 
 examined with respect to tlie circum- 
 stHiices of the accident, which exa- 
 mination continued until Friday, 
 when Ihe verdict was, "That the 
 several persons came by their death 
 from compression and suffocation." 
 
 The Contrast. On elegnnf Women dancing 
 to a bad Fiddle, 
 
 ALAS ! tliat such clierubs iu face and in 
 
 sliape, 
 Shouid bring a man into go stiocking a 
 
 scrape ! 
 
 The Reverse. On clumsy Dancers to ax^ 
 exquisite Masician. 
 
 JIOW ill the motion with the music suits. 
 Thus Orpheus liddled aad so daucd the 
 brutes.
 
 542 Literary Curiosities^ Epiiaphs, ff'onderfi/t Events, 
 
 » 
 
 On a Gentleman sitting bejore a scorching 
 fire in a cold room. 
 
 OF various climates, dear Jackf yon may 
 
 boast ; 
 In one part you freeze, in another you roast. 
 Like Ptussia's o^reai uionarch's tiu' empire 
 
 you rule in, 
 I^or your bach is in Lapland, your face in 
 
 Bencoolea. 
 
 The Mixer's Will. 
 
 « T GIVE and 1 devfse (Old Euclio said) 
 " My lands and teneraentsto Nea." 
 ''Your money, sir?" '• My money! sir; 
 
 " what all! 
 « Why, well then, it I must 1 give if 
 
 " Paul." 
 *• The manor, sir ?" " The manor ! hold ! 
 
 (he cried) 
 *' I will not, cannot part with thai" — and 
 
 died. 
 
 Epitaph on an Actor. 
 
 FROM early youth train'd to the Thespian 
 
 art. 
 On life's great stage Vveplarfd my varied 
 
 part. 
 BIy erJrance was au«p)cions ; never boy 
 Jr. his debut received more flaltering joy : 
 My ^a-«^ and .ifcconrfacf* pass 'd smooth away, 
 Alternately in study and in ilay. 
 I (hen advaared inoie forward in the 5cene, 
 And oft nfgiect nmde/orj'cifs inlervene. 
 My passions drew me into traijic scrapes, 
 And ill laid plots brought with them dire 
 
 mishaps. 
 Com»c events, however, were not scarce, 
 And past dilemmas then became a farce. 
 Though want of jjiroper/;/ I've often known, 
 My i('«)'t/ro6e slender never made me groan; 
 In various shapes, not always at my ease, 
 I managed sliil to hustle through tite piece. 
 Though wrong behind the curtain I mi^ht 
 
 do, 
 My inward prompter kept me still in cue. 
 My drama now is done, my last act o"er, 
 My ACdiOK fiinsh'd, I must higher soar: 
 No more ertgagements on this^fiJoel'll make, 
 Trusting my benefit above to take. 
 
 Time enough. 
 
 A CLERICAL prig, who one morn join'd 
 the chace, 
 For which he had always an itchin.^ ; 
 Was thrown from his horse, and fell flat on 
 his face, 
 A dangerous dirty deep ditch in. 
 
 Each Nimvod that pass'd him for help loud 
 did cry, 
 
 But, onward all eagerly panted; 
 The whipper-in lustily roars, " let him lie ! 
 
 « Till,SuEdaj be will not be wanted." 
 
 Dijcrent Species X)f Drunkenness. 
 
 WHEN Tom was poor, as poop could be, 
 Drunk as a beggar si ill was he; 
 Espo;ising (hen a wealthy dame, 
 Sudilen a fortune to him came. 
 To drink he now can well afford. 
 And daily gets drunk as a lord. 
 
 Bark. 
 
 DEAR .Johnny, much I wish for your ad- 
 vice, 
 'Tis on a point extremely nice, 
 
 'Bout which my mind is in an odd quan- 
 dary ; 
 !'y your opinion I would fain abide, 
 fletwist two persons to decide. 
 My dog and my apothecary. 
 
 To state (he case — Monsieur VApothecaire 
 ihinks proper (o declare. 
 
 That I must drink a pint of hark a day, 
 
 Becanse he say^, 'twill be the way, 
 Tostreglhen and renew me, now I'm wasted. 
 
 This may be true; yet still I'm loath to 
 drink, 
 
 Pimply because I think, 
 It is the vilest stuff I ever tasted. 
 
 But that's not all — for yon must know> 
 A noisy house-dog (hat I keep, 
 
 Doth ev'ry night contrive it so. 
 That I can't get a wink of sleep. 
 
 Thus, am I no( in piteous plight, 
 
 Wi!h barkaW day, and hark all night ? 
 
 Now, prithee, Johnny, tell me what to d* 
 Betwixt the two — 
 
 " Why hang the dog !" (methinks I heap 
 you say) 
 
 Alas! poor Tray ! 
 Would that be treating thee qnite fair? 
 If either must be hang'd, I own, 
 I'd ra(ber leave the dog aloue, 
 And hang the other spark. 
 Who deals in bark, 
 
 Monsieur I'Apothecaire. 
 
 Prudent Generosity, 
 
 FRANK, who will any friend snpply. 
 Lent me ten guineas. " Come (said I) 
 " Give me a pen, it is but fair, 
 " You take ray note." Quoth he, " hold 
 
 " there! 
 " Jack to (he cash Fve bid adieu ; 
 " No need to waste my paper too." 
 
 Numeration. 
 
 SAY.S Giles, " My wife and I are one, 
 " Yet, faith, I know not why, Sir." 
 
 Quoth Jack, " If I ihink right, you're ten, 
 " She's one, and you're a cypher,"
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poeirif, S^c. 548 
 
 The Black Box. 
 
 A NOBLEMAN, of aneiohbnur- 
 ina country, hrtvin(» been treacherous 
 to his prince, and finding himsclt oIj 
 noxious to the stroke of justice, hi« 
 treasons h-.ivin^ been penetrated ami 
 amply detected, consulted with one 
 of his servants how to avert punish- 
 ment, which he does by persuading 
 him (the servant) to make him?elt 
 the principal, and the only conspi- 
 rator, and to clear his lord in the most 
 effectual manner Irom the least im- 
 putation of the crime. To encourage 
 him to this, the nobleman tells him, 
 that although he might be cast and 
 condemned, yit he would not fail to 
 procure hira a pardon, as also to allow 
 him, as a recompejise for this mos' 
 signal service, a great part of his 
 estate. Upon this, the nobleman's 
 steward (for such it seems he was) 
 confesses himself the sole author and 
 contriver of the aforesaid treasons, 
 and absolutely frees his lord's repu- 
 tation; for which sentence of death 
 was presently awarded against him, 
 and he remanded back to prison ; 
 where the lord comes to him, upon 
 pretence of getting him to make some 
 further discoveries, but, indeed, to 
 tell hira that he had procured his par- 
 don, shewing him one that he had 
 'counter, ited for that purpose, which 
 he took out of a black- box i and 
 withal told him, that nolwiihstanding 
 the pardon he had procured, it was 
 the king's pleasure that he should be 
 carried to the place of execution, 
 partly to save appearances, but 
 chiefly for the greater terror and ex- 
 ample of others; and alter having 
 made his speech there, should then 
 receive his pardon, bidding him not 
 to be daunted or troubled at any 
 thing that should be done or said to 
 him, being matter of form and ne- 
 cessary solemn parade; and assured 
 him withal, that when at the place of 
 •-xccation he should see a person on 
 
 !iis righi hand, holding up a black 
 box, it should be to him an int'ilhble 
 sign' that his pardon was there. Upon 
 this ;h»^ man was gieatly encouraged, 
 .lud seemed noi to be concerned at 
 h s present situation, but longed for 
 the day of his supposed execution; 
 which being now cnmi', the man witli 
 the black box was very assiduous to 
 appear in his 'joht as soon as he was 
 !.<>me out of the prison, and accom- 
 panied him at a distance until he came 
 to the place of execution, where the 
 mm with the black box placed him- 
 self i-n an eminence on the light hand 
 ■ pf the prisoner, that he miahl be the 
 mnie appaiently conspicuous to him. 
 The prisoner then addresses himself 
 ill a speech to the people, which he 
 little th lUiiht would have been his 
 last, and again acquits his lord, &c. 
 still having his eye upon the black 
 box ; but having drawn out his '^peecli 
 to an unusu-il length, the she ift' tolJ 
 him he could stas no longer: to which 
 the prisoner replied, that there was a 
 gentleman stood close by with a black 
 box in his hand, who was lately come 
 from court, and who he was confident 
 had got his pardon: upon which the 
 gentleman with the black box was 
 called for; who being come, delivered 
 his box to the sherif}', who took a 
 paper out of it containiiip these words: 
 Upon sij^ht. hereof, let the prisoner be 
 immediately executed. Which oriler 
 was so speedily obeyed, ttiat the pri- 
 >oner had' no time to discover the 
 cheaT that was put upon him ; so he 
 l(dl a sacrifice to his own folly, and 
 the practice of others, unpitied, be- 
 cause unknown. 
 
 J71 easy Road. 
 
 A NOBLE lord, on bis death-bed, 
 ob:erved to his coachman, "Ah John! 
 I am goinii ^ longer journey than ever 
 vou drove me." — "Never mind, iny 
 'ord," replied he, " it is ui! dowi* 
 iuil."
 
 5ii Literanj Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wond^rfid~Events, 
 
 Origin of Tarring and Feathering. 
 
 AS tarring and feathering h\is been 
 niuch Used by way of punishrneiii 
 amcjng tue iiihahitant^ «)f North 
 America, many are ii'^iorant of it^ 
 original, and think it a new mode ol 
 chastisement. 
 
 Kintj Richard I. called from his 
 great coinage C(eur de Lio?i, or Lion's 
 Heart, kept stric! (!iscipline ln)fh in 
 army aid navy, Iliiving made a vow 
 to li^hl atiain^t the Saracens for the 
 recovery of the Holy Land, in l\9^, 
 he sailed over to France, had an inter- 
 view with King Philij , and eiiteied 
 into an alliance with him for that pur- 
 pose ; and the two armies of France 
 and Ent^land joined at Vezelai. King 
 Richaid, during his stay in France, 
 standing on the river Vienne, made 
 the following remarkable orders for 
 preserving peace in the navy, during 
 ihis expedition to ihe Holy Land: 
 
 First. If any one killed a man in 
 a ship, he was bound to the dead man, 
 and liung into the sea. 
 
 Second. If any one was convicted 
 to have drawn h.is dagger, or knife, to 
 hurt another, or fetch blood, he was 
 to lose his hand. 
 
 Third. If any one struck another 
 with his open hand, without effusion 
 of blood, he was to be ducked thrice 
 over head and ears in the sea. 
 
 Fourth. If any one gave his com- 
 panion opprobit)Us language, so often 
 as he did it, he was to give him so 
 manv ounces of silver. 
 
 Fifth. If any man slole any thing, 
 his head was to be shav^^d, and melied 
 pitch poured upon it, and feathers 
 stuck therein, that so he might be 
 known ; and tiie first land the ship 
 touched at, he was to be set on shore. 
 
 This is probably the original from 
 whence tarring and feathering arose, 
 the former being substituted instead 
 of pilch; the custom being disused 
 for so many centuiirs, \vas again re- 
 ■Vived amongst the Ameiicans. 
 
 Chinon, the place where these or 
 
 ders were first made, is also remark- 
 able for being the jilace where Joan 
 ot j4rc. the famf)ns Maid ot Orleans, 
 who so often defeated the Fwiglish, and 
 was at last taken and burnt for a 
 witch, first cff.'red her service to 
 Charles the Seventh of France, in the 
 year 1429- 
 
 Afi awlcward Accident. 
 
 TWO Irish porters meeting in 
 Dame-street, Dublin, one addressed 
 the oilier Avith, "Oho, Mac Shane, 
 how are you, my dear, you are just 
 come from England : pray did you see 
 any thing of our old friend, Pat Mur- 
 phy 1" — " No," says !•?, " and 1 am 
 very much afraid I shall never see him 
 again." — " How so ?" — " Why he has 
 met with a very unfortunate accident 
 lately."—" What the devil was it V 
 asked Mac Shane. "Oh! faith, no- 
 thing more than this; as he was stand- 
 ing on a plank, talking devoutly to a 
 priest, at a idace in London, which I 
 think they call the Old Bailey, the 
 plauk snddcnly gave way, and jjoor 
 Pat got his neck broke." 
 
 Pun of Churchill. 
 
 THE late Mr. Churchill having 
 baptised the child of a friend, and 
 coining after the ceremony into an 
 adjoining roonrf, where was the child's 
 grandfather and several other friends 
 of the family, the old fellow desired 
 the parson woul«l tell them how little 
 miss had behaved at her sprinkling. 
 " As well as they generally, do," re- 
 plied Charles, *' there was a little 
 whimpering to be sure." " Aye, aye,"^ 
 said the grandfather, " that's the way, 
 that's the way : they come crying into 
 the world, and are perpetually out of 
 temper till they go out of it ; is not it 
 so, Chailes'?" — " It certainly is," re- 
 plied Churchill, " it certainly is ; but 
 it is not confined to them, we are all 
 of us out of temper when we are 
 a'osa'd.
 
 Til fere<i ft ■■?.'/ N;irrntives^ Enigmas^ Epigrams^ Poetry^ S(c. 545 
 
 Sterli{i<^ Camposition. 
 
 DRYDEX, who wa'i notariously 
 poor, was one evening in ciimpaii} 
 with the duke of Bnckin^h^m, LorW 
 Dorset, ani ^^oine other noblemen ot 
 wit and genius. It happened thai 
 the conversation, which was literary, 
 turned on the art of compo'^ition, and 
 elegance of ^ty!e; and, after some 
 dehate, it was agreed, that each party 
 should write something on whatever 
 subject chanced to strike hi- imagina- 
 tion, and place it under the candle- 
 stick for Mr. Dryden's judgment. — 
 Most of the company took uncom- 
 mon pains to out-do each other: while 
 lord Dorset, with much composure, 
 tyrote two or three Itnes, and carelessly 
 threw them to the place agreed on. 
 The rest having finished, the arbiter 
 openerl the leaves of their destiny. — 
 In going through the whole, he dis- 
 covered strong marks of pleasure and 
 satisfaction; but atone in particular 
 he seemed in raptures. " I must ac- 
 knowledge," says Dryden, " there are 
 abundance of fine things in my hands, 
 and such as do honour to the person- 
 ages who wrote them ; but 1 am under 
 an indispensable necessity of givitig 
 the highest preference to my lord 
 Dorset. I must request that your 
 lordships will hear it, and I believe 
 all will be satisfied with rr.y judgment. 
 
 " J promise to pay John Dryden, 
 or order, on demand, the sum of five 
 hundred pounds. Dorset." 
 
 Journal, for de Week. 
 
 THE following paper was dropped 
 from the pocket of a Jew, well known 
 upon 'change. 
 
 Sunday. No business to be done 
 — de cliristiaub all out making holi- 
 day — waited at home for Levi : he 
 never come — took a walk in St. 
 George's Fields — put me in min<l oi 
 Newgate — called dere — suppe<] and 
 smo:iked a pipe witii I old George 
 Gordon— very sensible man. 
 
 jNIonday. At 'change till two- 
 man in red coat wanted to borrow 
 monies — did not like his looks — in de 
 ■ifternoon called in St. James's-street ; 
 not at home — very bad luck — thought 
 to have touched someting dere. 
 
 Tuesday. Went to de west end of 
 de town-- bought some old clothes — ■ 
 took in — gave great price for de 
 breeches, thinking I felt guinea in de 
 fob left dere by mistake — only done 
 to cheat me — noting in the world but 
 counterfeit halfpenny — sold dem again 
 to Levi — took him in the Sxime way — 
 very good dat. 
 
 Wednesday. Went to St James's- 
 street again — de devil is in de man- 
 not at home—- met Levi ; he scolded 
 me ai)out de breeches — not mind dat 
 at all — went to puti" at de auction — 
 very well paid^ — engaged to puff at 
 antxler in de evening — found out dere 
 — obliged to sneak off — found a pair 
 of candlesticks in my coat pocket — 
 dropped in by acshident — sold dem 
 to Mr. Polishplate, de silversmith — 
 did very well by dat. 
 
 Thursday. On 'change — met do 
 gentleman with de white wig — wanted 
 more monies — let him have it — very 
 <:ood securities — like white wigs — • 
 carried my advertisement to de news- 
 paper, signed Z — pretty crooked let- 
 ter dat — always suie to bring custom- 
 ers. 
 
 Friday. Found a watch in my 
 coat pocket — dropped iit by acshident 
 — made some money by dat — met my 
 good friend Mr. Smash— not seen 
 him since he was a bankrupt— arrested 
 him for de monies he owed me --went 
 home, and prepared for de .sabbath. 
 
 Curious Proclamation; 
 
 IN 154-7, a proclamation was 
 issued by Henry the Eighth, "That 
 women should not meet t(igether to 
 babble and talk, and that all men 
 should keep their wives in ih^'ir 
 U'lU^es." 
 
 4 A
 
 550 Literary Curiost'ties, Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events, 
 
 Obiervatrnts on a Drzniken Man. 
 
 HAPPENING to pass throuoh 
 Vine-streer a few iiiplu* ago, on my 
 leiurn !o mv UxJgiiios, I perceived h 
 t()leral)ly v\ell-tiressed man approach- 
 ing nie in a manner wliich ^iifficientK 
 proved that he had drank more thai) 
 his head would bear ; that he could 
 nut possibly brinsz his body towar<l^ 
 me ill a stiail line: hardly, indeed, 
 Keep his feet upon the ground. I was 
 not a liiile diverted, I must own, 
 with his ifMse looks, zig-zag motion«i, 
 anel half words, imperfectly articu- 
 lated; but I was still more amused 
 with the observations which several 
 persons made upon his state of ir- 
 rationality. One of them said, that 
 he was tophmxy ; anither, tluit he 
 was pofvalidfit ; a third, that he was 
 Judf-scas ma- ; a fourth, that he had 
 bun in the sun ; a filth, that he looked 
 ]wre rosy; a sixth, thai he was in 
 Jor it ; a sevt- nth, that he was vtfy 
 much in liquor; au eighth, that he 
 was hictius doctius; a ninth, that he 
 vids (lisgitised : a tenth, that he was 
 r.on compos : an eleventh, that he 
 clipped the king's English ; a twelfth, 
 that he was domnubly cut; a thir- 
 teenth, that he was as drunk as Da- 
 vid's son?. A fourteenth observed, 
 with a sort of sneer, and a shrug, as 
 he passed, that in truth he was c/fflf ; 
 while a fifteenth said to his comrade, 
 *' Z"unrls, why Willy, the d<i2 is, in- 
 deed, most confoundedly qiiiUy." 
 
 Geoug£ Ameleu. 
 
 The God Maker. 
 
 A SCULPTOR ill Portugal, who 
 had boinc the character of a free- 
 thinker, was dying. A Jesuit con- 
 fessed him, and held a crucifix before 
 liim, exclaiming, ** See! there is 
 God, whom you have so rflen ortVnd- 
 ed ! — Do you know him ?" — " Oh, 
 Vfs," replied thu sculptor: " 1 made 
 it." 
 
 Anecdote of Mr. Addison. 
 
 IT is related of JNIr. Addison, who, 
 though an elegant writer, was too dif- 
 fident of himself ever to shine as a 
 public speaker, that at the time of de- 
 bating the Union Act in the House of 
 Ctnimons, he rose up, and addressing 
 himself to the Speaker, said, " I\lr. 
 Speaker, I conceive," — but could go 
 no farther; then rising again, he saiif, 
 " j\Ir. Speaker, I conceive," — still 
 unable to proceed, he sat down again. 
 A third lime he arose, and was still 
 unable to say any thin* more than — 
 " JNJr. Speaker, 1 conceive;" — when 
 a certain young member, who was 
 possessed of more effrontery and vo- 
 lubility, arose, and said, " Mr. 
 Speaker, I am sorry to find thai the 
 lion, gentleman over the way has con- 
 ceived three times, and brought fortk 
 nothinji." 
 
 A Rakt's Economy: 
 
 WITH cards and dice, and dresM .and friends^ 
 
 My savings are cumplete ; 
 I light the candle at hotb ends, 
 
 And thus wake both ends meet. 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 AS a lame country schoolmaster 
 was hobbling one morning upon his 
 two sticks to his noisy mansion, ho 
 was met by a certain nobleman, who 
 wished to know his name, and the 
 means by which he procured a liveli- 
 hood. " My name," answered he, 
 
 " is R T , and I am master 
 
 of lh'\i, parish." This answer further 
 increased his lordshi|)'s curiosity, and 
 he desired to know in what sense he 
 was master of the parish. " I am," 
 answered he, " the master of the chil- 
 dren oi the parish; the children are 
 masteis of the mothers ; the mothers 
 arc the rulers of ihe fathers ; and coiir, 
 sequeiitly I am the master of the 
 \*liole palish," His lordship was 
 pleased with this logical reply, and 
 gave the schoolmaster half-a-guinta 
 to buy u book will).
 
 Interesting Narratives, Eniffmas, Epigrams^ Poetn/, 8fc. 547 
 
 The Exciseman bit. 
 
 A COUNTRYM.\N «as stoppcl 
 by a revenue oflicer, who tcjok Irom 
 hiin two casks of spirits, and canyini; 
 them to the next town (a distance oi 
 fifteen miles) was desired by the 
 count rymsMi to stop and leave it ai 
 the first public-house. The ofiicei. 
 replied, " No; I have seized it, anrl 
 it must go to the excise-olHce." — 
 *' Not so, master," said the country- 
 man; " I have a little bit of paper 
 here, which, if you'll take the trouble 
 of reading, will convince you I am 
 right." The officer reading his bit oj 
 paper, exclaimed, '* Why, you rascal, 
 this is a permit; why did you not 
 show it me sooner?" — " Because," 
 said he, " if 1 had, you would not 
 have carried the liquor so far for mc." 
 
 A Pun uiih a Point to it. 
 
 \VHEN Mr. Penn, a young gen- 
 tleman well known for his eccentri- 
 cities, walked Irom Hyde- park corner 
 to Hammersittith, for a wager of one 
 liundrcd guineas, with the honourable 
 Cutler Danvers, several gentlemen 
 who had witnessed Ihe contest, spoke 
 of it to the duchess of Gordon, and 
 added, it was a pity that a man with 
 so many good qualities as t/iis Penn 
 had, should be incessantly playing 
 these unaccountable pranks. '• It is 
 so," said her grace ; " but why don't 
 you advise him better? He seems to 
 be a pen that every body cuts, but 
 nobody mends." 
 
 A Reply in a proper Place. 
 
 TWO persons of a satiric turn 
 met a neighbour, and said, " Friend, 
 we have been disputing, whether you 
 are more fool or rogue." The man 
 took each ot the querists by the arm, 
 and walking in the middle, after some 
 h«;siiation, replied, " Why, faith, I 
 tclieve I am between both." 
 
 The bookish Benedict. 
 
 THE proud, the learned, ihe grave, 
 and the sullen, can all unbend in fe- 
 male society, and domestic privacy. 
 The principal of the academy of Sau- 
 mur used to spend live hours regularly 
 every morning in study; but was al- 
 ways very punctual at ilie hour of din- 
 ner. One day, not appearing pre- 
 cisely at the time expected, his wife 
 entered the study, and found him still 
 reading. " I wish, ray love," said the 
 lady, " that I were a book." — " Why 
 so," said the scholar. " Because you 
 vvoulii then be constant to me." — " I 
 should have no objeclion," rejoined 
 the husband, " provided vou were an 
 almanack." — " Why an almanack, my 
 dear?" — " Because 1 should then have 
 a new one every year." 
 
 A Stroke at a sleeping Sovereign. 
 DR. SOUTH once preaching be- 
 fore Charles H. (who was not very 
 often in a church) observing that the 
 monarch and all his attendants began 
 to nod, and as nobles are cominon 
 men when they are asleep, some of 
 them soon after snored, on which he 
 broke off his sermon, and called, 
 " Lord Lauderdale, let ine entreat you 
 to rouse yourself; you snore so loud 
 that you will wake the king!" 
 
 An Election Manceuvre, 
 
 THE non-resident freemen of Ber- 
 wick upon Tweed livi;ig in London, 
 being put on board two vessels in the 
 Thames, a few days previous to the 
 election of 17(^8, in order to be con- 
 veyed to Berwick by water; IMr.l'ay- 
 lor, one of the candidates in opposi- 
 tion, covenanted with the naval com- 
 mander of this election caigo, for the 
 sum of £4-00. to land the freemen in 
 Norway. This was accordingly done, 
 and in consequence JMr. Taylor and 
 Lord Delavnl secured their seats with* 
 out any farther expense. 
 4 A 2
 
 548 hiterarif Cwnosities^ Epitaphs, Wond^rftd Events^ 
 
 James 11, 
 
 IT was saii^ by the witty duke of 
 Bucliiniihain, thai Ciiailes the Second 
 might have done wtl! if he wouh,l, and 
 th-.tt James would do well if he could; 
 an observation which says little for 
 the understanding r>( James, but a 
 great deal for his lieart ; and, with all 
 the blemishes vvilh \\hich his public 
 character is stained, he was nut de- 
 ficient in several qualities necessary to 
 form a good sovereign. 
 
 His industry and altcntion to busi- 
 ness were exemplary ; he was frugal 
 of the public money; he cherished 
 and extended the maritime power of 
 the empire; and his encouragement 
 of trade was attended with such suc- 
 cess, that, according to the observa- 
 tion of the impartial historian Ralph, 
 as the frugality of his administratiou 
 helped to increase the number of 
 malcuuients, so his extreme attention 
 to Jrade was not less alarming to the 
 whole body of the Dutch, than his 
 resolution not to rush into a war with 
 Fraupe was mortifying to iheir stadt- 
 holdcr. 
 
 In domestic life the character cf 
 James, though not irrcpioachable, 
 was comparatively good. It is true, he 
 was in a great measure tainted with 
 that licentiousness of manners, which 
 at this time pervaded the whole so- 
 ciety, and which reigned triumphant 
 within the circle of tlie court ; but he 
 was never carried into any excesses 
 thai trenched deeply upon tke duties 
 of social life; and if tlie qualities of 
 his heart were to be judged only by 
 his condijcl in the (liferent charac- 
 ters of husband, father, master and 
 friend, he niight be pronounced a 
 Uian oi very annable disposition. 
 
 'Jhe domiuion of en or over the 
 minds over the generality of mankind 
 is irresistible. James to the last hour 
 of his life, contiiiued as great a bigot 
 to his political as his religious preju- 
 dices. He could not help considering 
 
 the strength and power of the crown 
 as necessary to the prt-sttvalion and 
 happiness i-f the people ; ar.d m a 
 letter of advice wliicli he wrote to his 
 son, while he conjures him to pay a 
 nliKious observa-.'.ce to all the duties 
 of a good soverei;^n, he cautioiss iiini 
 against sufierin? atiy intrcnchmenl on 
 the royal prerogative. 
 
 Among several articles containing 
 excellent instructions on the art of 
 reigning h:^ppily and justly, he warns 
 the young prince never to disquiet his 
 subjects in their property or ii:tir 
 relif^ion : and what is remarkable, to 
 his last breath he |)ersisted iu assert- 
 ing that lie never attempted to sub- 
 vt-rl the Jews, or procure more than 
 a toleration and equality of privilege 
 to his Catholic subjects. As there is 
 great reason to believe this ass« riion 
 to be true, it shows thai the delusion 
 was incurable under which the king 
 laboured, by the trust he hi'<l put in 
 the knavish doctrines of lawyers and 
 priests ; and that neither himself nor 
 his Protestant abettors, could fathoiri 
 the consequences of that enlaigedto- 
 lerati(m which he endeavoured to 
 establish. 
 
 James abdicated his throne in l6S3, 
 and died in 17C0. 
 
 Enigmatical List of Flowers^ 
 
 A VAIN youth. 
 
 The support of a dairy, and a false 
 step. 
 
 The goddess of beauty and the 
 ladies' delight. 
 
 The emblem of constancy, and a 
 fine woman. 
 
 A game of cards, and what a lady 
 cannot dress without. 
 
 The best age, a,id the child's dread. 
 
 A precious stone. 
 
 A fribble's opinion of himself. 
 
 What the jealous never enjoy. 
 
 A fop. 
 
 An emperor's diadem. 
 
 What a secret h often told under. 
 
 1 he produce of an ipditstrious iu-
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams ,^ Poetry, %c. 549 
 
 sect, and what mothers generally do 
 to ijifatits. 
 
 Ihree-fouiths of a jnke, two-sixliis 
 of a proveib, and what pn-dutclh 
 iron. 
 
 What few people in love can boast 
 of. 
 
 A bird reniaikable for its early ri- 
 sing', andv\liii) l.'.ntsnien near. 
 
 A noted tiini fv)r its fiiie feathers, 
 ani a very useful member. 
 
 Three-fourihs of the name of an 
 evanj^eli.sf, and what great writers 
 niakt u-e of, 
 
 "I'liice vowels, a.consonant, and a 
 Frencii word. 
 
 Wl^r.l perplexes the mind, and 
 what we are in when we hear bad 
 news. 
 
 C<!ngealed rain, and vvhatfaiut peo- 
 ple do. 
 
 A useful beast, and what ne are 
 apt to do in frosty weathtr. 
 
 The ill Effe<ts of Tea. 
 
 SI^XE the year \6C)6, every ho- 
 nest physician will allow that tea has 
 been tl.e ruin of millioi.s of constitu- 
 tions, \n all parts of the globe where 
 it has been used ; it has flattered the 
 tastes, and has at the same time been 
 a dagger to the hearts of nun'.bers ; it 
 has bten the cause of drinking spi- 
 rituous liquors, and as Dr. Lettsom 
 says, it relaxes the whole frame, and 
 that neither man, women, or child 
 should drink it by any means. A 
 person drinkin« tea was brought to a 
 state of despondency. Piiysicians' 
 advice proved of no effect, upon 
 which she attempted four times to 
 hang herself, but was prevented; but 
 after that she stabbed herself with 
 her scis^ars in the belly, is now cureii 
 by Gensing tea and other renledits. 
 
 Daily Advertizer, Feb. 21, i"88. 
 
 To a hriefiess Barrister. 
 
 IF to reward (hem for their various evil, 
 A!l lawyeps go tiereafler totlie devil ; 
 So little mischief thou do=t from the laws, 
 Thou 'It surely go below wUbout a cause. 
 
 A wonderful IJell. 
 
 AT Aticliff, near Wigan, in Lanca- 
 shire, is a b uri jng well, the water of 
 wliich is so cold, nor lias it any smell, 
 but there is a strong su!|)lmrous va- 
 |iour that issues out with the water, 
 and makes it bubble up asil it boilt-d, 
 uliich upon applying a liijhted caixiie 
 to il, presmtly lakes hre, and the 
 surface of the well is covered willi a 
 dame, like that of burning spirits; 
 this liame will continue several hours 
 in calm weather, and emits such a 
 heat that me:it may be boiled over it, 
 but the water when taken out vvili not 
 burn at ail. 
 
 A'eipiwrj/'j Wonders, 
 
 The Lady and Looking Glass. 
 
 A CYNIC once growl'd fo a buxooi youag 
 
 lass •, 
 " A female's the very reverse of a glass ; 
 *' And this I can prove without fear of 
 " corieclion ; 
 " A mirror, we tiuow, and 'tis fact what 
 
 " I preach, 
 " Exactly rejiccts, though without gift of 
 " speech ; 
 " Whereas we all rne, 
 " And find it too true, 
 '* That a female talks ou without any re- 
 " flection." 
 
 The admirable Crichton. 
 
 THE person ot Crichton was emi- 
 nently beautiful ; but his beauty was 
 consistent with such activity and 
 strength, that in fencing he would 
 spring at one, bound the length of 
 twenty feet upon his antagonist; and 
 he used the sword in either hand with 
 such force and dexterity, that scarce 
 anv one had courage to engage him. 
 
 He was born in Perthshire, studied 
 at St. Andrew's, in Scotland, and went 
 to Paris in his twenty-hrsl year, and 
 affixed on the gate of the ctjllcge of 
 Navarre a kind of challenge to the 
 learned of that university, to dispute 
 with them on a certain day, offering 
 to his opponents, whoever they should 
 be, the choice of ten languages, and 
 all the faculties aud bciences. On the
 
 5bB Liferai'if Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 day appointed, 300 auditors assenj- 
 bled ; when 4 doctors of the cluirch, 
 and .50 masters, appeared against liim, 
 and one of his antagonists confesses, 
 that the doctors were defeated ; that 
 lie gave proofs of knowledge beyond 
 the reach of man ; and that a hun- 
 dred years passed without food or 
 sleep, would not be suflicicnt for the 
 attainment of his learning. Aftei a 
 disputation of nine hours,, he was 
 presented by the president and pro- 
 fessors with a diamond and a purse of 
 gold ; and <lismissed with repeated 
 acclamalions. From Paris he went to 
 Rome, where he made the same chal- 
 lenge, and had, in the presence of 
 the pope and cardinals, the same suc- 
 cess. Afterwards he contracted at 
 Venice an acquaintance with Aldus 
 Manutius, by whrm he was introdu- 
 ced to tiR' learned of that city. He 
 visited Padua, where he engaged in 
 another disputation ; beginning his 
 performance with an extemporal poem, 
 •in praise of the city and the assembly 
 then present, and concluded with an 
 oration equally unpremeditated in 
 commendation of ignorance. 
 
 He afterwards published another 
 challenge, in which he declared him- 
 self ready to detect the errors of 
 Aristotle, and all his commentators, 
 cither in the common forms of logic, 
 or in any his antagonist should propose, 
 in a hundred difierent kind of verses. 
 
 These acquisitions of learning, how- 
 ever stupendous, were not gained at 
 the exjiense of any pleasure in which 
 youth generally indulges ; or by the 
 omission of any accomplishment, in 
 which it becoiues a gentleman to ex- 
 cel. He practised, in great perfec- 
 tion, the art of drawing and painting; 
 he was an eminent performer in botli 
 vocal and instrumental music; he 
 danced with uncommon gracefulness ; 
 and on the day of his disputation at 
 Paris, exhibited his skill in horseman- 
 ship before the court of France; where 
 at a public match of tilting, he bore ; 
 
 away the ring upon his lance fifteen 
 times together. He excelled likewise 
 it) domestic games of less dignity and 
 reputation ; and in the interval be- 
 tween his challenge ami disjjutalion at 
 Pans, he spent so much of his time at 
 cards, dice, and tennis, that a lam- 
 poon was fixed upon the gate of the 
 Sorbonne, directing those that would 
 see this monster of erudition, to look 
 for him at the tavern. 
 
 So extensive was his acquaintance 
 with life and manuers,that in an Italian 
 comedy, composed by iiimseif, and ex- 
 hibited before the court of Mantua, he 
 is said to have personated fifteen dif- 
 ferent characters, in all which he 
 might succeed without great difficulty, 
 since he had so much power of reten- 
 tion, that once hearing an oration of an 
 hour, he would repeat it exactly, and 
 in the recital he would follow the 
 speaker through all his variety of tone 
 and gestulation. Nor was his skill in 
 arms less than in learning, or his cour- 
 age inferior to his skill: there was 
 a prize-fighter at Mantua, who travel- 
 ling about the world, according to the 
 barbarous custom of that age, as a 
 general challenger, had defeated the 
 most celebrated masters in many parts 
 of Europe; and in Mantua, where he 
 then resided, had killed three that 
 appeared against him. The Duke re- 
 pented that he had granted him his 
 protection; when Crichton, looking 
 on his sanguinary success with indig- 
 nation, offered to stake fifteen hun- 
 dred pistoles, and ujount the stage 
 against him. The duke with some 
 reluctance consented, and on the day 
 fixed, the combatants appeared : their 
 weapons seemed to have been the sin- 
 gle rapier, which was then introduced 
 in Italy. The prize-fighter advanced 
 with great violence and fierceness, and 
 Crichton contented himself calmly to 
 ward his passes, and suffered hiui to 
 exhaust his vigour by his own fury. 
 Crichton then became the assailant, 
 and pressed upon hiui with such foree
 
 Tnteresting Narratives^ Emgtnas, Epigrams, Poetrg, Sfc. 55 1 
 
 and aoility, that he tlirusf Iiiin tiirice 
 through the body, and saw him ex- 
 pire : he then divided the prize lie iiad 
 won among the widows whose hus- 
 bands had been killed. 
 
 The (hike of IVIantna having re- 
 ceived so niaoy proofs of his varions 
 merit, made him tutor to l;is son 
 Vicentio di Gonzago, a prince of loose 
 manners and turbulent disposition. — 
 On this occasion it was, that he com- 
 posed the comedy in which heexhi' 
 bi(ed so many different characters 
 with exact propriety. But his honor 
 was of short continuance; for as he 
 was one night in the time of Carnival, 
 rambling about the streets with liis 
 guitar in his hand, he was attacked by 
 six men masked ; neither his courage 
 nor skill in this exigence deserted 
 him : he opposed them with such ac- 
 tivity and spirit, that he soon dispersed 
 them, and disarmed their leader, who 
 throwing off his mask, discovered him- 
 self to be the prince, his pupil. — 
 Crichton falling on his knees, took 
 his own sword by the point, and pre- 
 sented it to the prince, who immedi- 
 ately seized it, and, instigated, as 
 some say, by jealousy, according to 
 others, only by drunken fury and bru- 
 -tal resentment, thrust him through 
 the heart. 
 
 Thus was the admirable Crichton 
 brought into that state, in which he 
 could excel the meanest of mankind 
 only by a few empty honours paid to 
 bis memory. The court of Mantua, 
 testified tiieir esteem by a public 
 mourning. The contemporary wits 
 were profuse in their encomiums ; and 
 the palaces of Italy were adorned with 
 pictures representing him on horse- 
 back, with a lance in one hand, ..nd 
 a book in the other. 
 
 Caledonian Mag. Perth, Feb. 6, 1TS4. 
 
 Dressing misapplied. 
 
 WHAT is the reason, can yon guess, 
 Some p.ien are thin, and woaisn thinner ? 
 
 So much do they/yr dinner dress, 
 
 They've nothing lel't to dress/or dinner. 
 
 Better fed than taught. 
 
 UPOX a hasty errand To;n was sent, 
 And met the parish curate as he weut ; 
 Rut, just like what he was, a very clown, 
 He pass'd him rudely with a cover'd crown. 
 The gownsmaa stopp'd aud looking sternly 
 
 said, 
 " I doubt my lad, you're far worse taught 
 
 " than fed !" 
 " Why, aye," says Tom, still jogging on, 
 
 " that's true ; 
 " I feed my self, but I am taught by you" 
 
 Blackfiiar' s Road. 
 
 ADJOINING to Blackfriar's height. 
 
 Two places oddly grapple ; 
 The Surrey on the right. 
 
 The left the Surrey chapel. 
 Each leaves decorum in the lurch, 
 
 So va*t their ranting rag^e; 
 This by butfoonery shames the church. 
 
 And that by punch the stage. 
 
 Run folly, run, both houses fill, 
 There laugh, and weep, and tremble; 
 
 Tesert from iJlair to Rowland Hill, 
 To Bradbury from Kemble. 
 
 A Shirt for a Ruffle. 
 
 ONCE in a barn, the strolling wardrobe's 
 
 list 
 Had but one ruffle left for Kamlet's wrist. 
 Necessity, which has no law, they say. 
 Could with one ruffle but one arm displav. 
 "What's to be done?" the hero said aud 
 
 sigh'd ; 
 " Shift hands each scene,'' a brother buskio 
 
 cried, 
 " Now in the pocket keep the left frcm, 
 
 " sight, 
 " Whilst o'er your breast you spread the 
 
 •' ruffled right ; 
 " Now in your robe the naked right repose, 
 " Whilst down your left the woeful cam- 
 
 " brie flows. 
 " Thus, though half-skill'd, as well as half 
 
 *• array'd, 
 " You'll make a change which Garrick 
 
 " never made." 
 
 An Account of the City of Loretto. 
 
 LOKETTO, a city of Italy, is 
 tliought to ho ihe richest in the world; 
 for accordinu to the Catholic tradi- 
 tion, the chamber of the blessed virgin 
 ',iu whicii ^he was born, and was sa- 
 iuled by the angels, and brought up 
 iiev son Jesus uzUil he was 'a\eive
 
 55'2 Literanj Curiosities^ Epitaphs^ JVondeife/f Events^ 
 
 \ear? of i\in') was broiu:ht by :inqels 
 info Dulnralio, in tlie year I'^yi; 
 but tlie people in that country not ex- 
 pii'ssinq a dive veneration for it, it was 
 three or four years afierwarHs trans- 
 ported over I he fiulph, aiid fixed at 
 Loretio, aiul a mHt^uilictnt church 
 built over it. This clianil>er is forty 
 feet loM!T, twenty broad, and twenty 
 in height: in it is animate of tlie 
 Blessed Virfriii, with a httle Jesus in 
 her arms, rtnd a triple crown upon iier 
 head; her whole person is almost 
 covered with diamond^. ;»:)d pearls, and 
 round the statue is a kind of rainbow 
 of precious stones of various colours; 
 all the ornaments, altars and ut«nsils, 
 are inexpressilily rich. The gallery, in 
 which the treasures are lodj^ed, is filled 
 with gold and jewels, the rotive cifts 
 of emperors, kinsis, popes and princes, 
 for mduy hundred years past : silver 
 works ;ire thought not worthy to be ai- 
 mittetl here. To this ludy house, some 
 years, there have re=:orted 50«),(X)0 
 pilgrims, and none of them but what 
 contributed something to increase the 
 treasure. Pupe Sistus 3th first made 
 Loretto a city and bishopric, and it is 
 thouglit the most sacred place under 
 Heaveu, by all good Catholics. 
 
 Pnlilic Ledger, 178-I. 
 
 A Volunteer Charge. 
 
 A COLONKI-, by ctironicles tate it appears. 
 
 Gave a liioner hi s^tile to bis crack volun- 
 teers ; 
 
 Tlie dinner was good, but the glasses so 
 soiali, 
 
 The heroes could scarcely drinlt any at all. 
 
 The commandant thus to the right and left 
 vvin^. 
 
 Cried "^Utention! now c/iari/e to the health 
 " of the biuc !" 
 
 A jolly ''uh, eyint: his e^lass at the time, 
 
 Said, " Colonel, (here's hardly enough f«r 
 •' a prime.' 
 
 Contented Cuckold. 
 
 SOME time ago, a mariner was 
 brought before Mr. Alderman Hart, 
 at (iuildhall, London, and chtirged 
 hy a publican at Hull, in Yorkshire, 
 
 with ste;tiing a number of articles, 
 consisfin^T ot^ plat« and linen, wit'i 
 which the prisoner took a trip to Lon- 
 don, «nd was followe'J by the publi- 
 can, wlio recovered his property and 
 ajiprehended the mariner. He did 
 not deny a syllable charged upon him« 
 He had brouirhl the effects, it was 
 true, from Hull, and together with 
 these goods of the husband, he pro- 
 dued a chattle too, namely, the wife, 
 who stood forward before the magis- 
 trate, avowin;j lier share in confede- 
 rating to strip her husband, and en- 
 tirely exonerated the' prisoner from 
 any cliarge ofn felonious nature. This 
 produced a most extraordinary scene: 
 the husband, with n^ore patience than 
 Job was in need of, far from feeling 
 the pangs of insulted love, prayed, 
 begged and beseeched his cara sposa 
 to return home ; and he promised to 
 fbri::et all her misconduct ; declaring, 
 like a true enamorata before marriage, 
 that he loved the very ground she 
 walked o\^. The hardened vixen re- 
 mained for some time deaf to all the 
 advice of the magistrate, and the en- 
 treaties of her surrounding friends. — 
 She even declared, that if she went 
 down to Hull, she would the first 
 opportunity abscond, and leave her 
 children. The spectators were struck 
 with astonishment at this infatuated 
 stubbornness, and took a part to per- 
 suade the woman in a sense of her 
 situation. She did, in a very awkward 
 kind of way, after a shower of tears, 
 and a laboured flow of rhetoric from 
 sundry fair married dames present, 
 agree so far as to condescend to return 
 to Hull, with her dear contented 
 cornuto. 
 
 Salmon's Gazetteer abridged. 
 
 Two Women tried fer Witchcraft. 
 
 AT Walkeru, in Hertfordshire, 
 
 Jane Wenman, a poor widow, about 
 
 "•tventy years of age, was tried for 
 
 witchcraft ; she lived iii a solitary
 
 Inierestbig Narratives^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, %c. 555 
 
 cottai;e, >vlicre she suffered all tlio-e u .'liat tlie cul's eyes were seen to fiame 
 
 aiiiictions which necessarily aftein* 
 poverty and aije ; her only compani- 
 ons were her bible and her cat ; her 
 neiohbours poor, iiinorant, supersti- 
 tious wretches, considered the dumb 
 animal as her familiar : and as for 
 the word of God, they said she kej.t 
 it to read backwards in order to raise 
 the devil. Every calamity that befei 
 any person in the ntii^hbourhood, ac- 
 cidental or natural, was ascribed to 
 ]ier ; until at last an information was 
 lodged against her before Sir H. 
 Chauncey, a justice of the peace, but 
 a nitan illiterate wretch, ignorant to 
 the laws of his country, and super- 
 stitious as a popish devotee. The 
 poor wonran was brought before the 
 justice, and committed to Hertford 
 gaol. At the next assizes a bill of in- 
 dictment was found against her, and 
 her trial came on before Judge Powel. 
 The judge was fully satisfied of her 
 innocence, and therefore went as f;ir 
 in his charge to the jury as he could 
 consistent with law, to induce them 
 to quit her; but they, to their eternal 
 shame, found her guilty. She was 
 not, however, left without a friend ; 
 for the upright and .compassionate 
 judge immediately repaired fo court, 
 and procured that mercy for lur 
 which she had been denied by her 
 country. Siie lived several years after 
 in the same harmless and inoffensive 
 manner she had spent the former part 
 of her life, and died with all the marks 
 of unfeigned and genuine piety. 
 
 like fire in the ni^ht. Wlun she was 
 brought to her trial at Kerlford, the 
 judge patiently heard the evidence, 
 .Old the jury, who it seems, had more 
 knowledge than the one already men- 
 Monod, immediately acquitted her.— 
 The honest jiid<.'e said to her, " Good 
 woman, can you fly J" " Yes, I can," 
 -.aid she. • Is that true ?" savs he. 
 " Yes, it is," says she. " So you may, 
 if you will," replied the judge, " I 
 have no law against it." 
 
 On the trial of Jane VVenman, 
 when there were many young women 
 in the court, the judge turned ti'thent 
 .ind said, " We nmsf not look for 
 witches among ihe old women, but 
 among the yoimg," 
 
 Spencer's English Traveller, 
 
 We are also told, that another poor 
 aged woman having been indicted, was 
 brought to be tried before the sanje 
 judge. The whole accusation against 
 her consisted in this, that she had 
 once been heard to say she coidd fly 
 This circuujstance, with having a large 
 tabby cat, induced the jury to find a 
 bill of indictment against her; for it 
 was sworn by soine of the witnesses. 
 
 The Student. 
 
 MY garden neat 
 Has got a seat, 
 
 That's bill from every eye, sir ; 
 Ttirre, day and night, 
 I lead aud write, 
 
 Aad lujbodi/s ihe wiser. 
 
 An Account of Sufmiel Clinton, a la- 
 bouring Alan, about 25 Ycdrs of 
 Age, who often slept for several 
 Weeks togelJier. 
 
 THIS Clinton, on the JSth of May, 
 
 \()9i, fell into a f)rofound sleep, out 
 
 of which he could by no means be 
 
 rou-^ed by those about hira ; but after 
 
 a month's time he rose of himself, put 
 
 on hii clothes, and went ab«(it his 
 
 ousiness of a husbandman as usual. 
 
 From tilts time until the pth of April, 
 
 >6<)S, he remained free from any ex- 
 
 iraordisjary drowsiness, but th(in fell 
 
 iiito his «.leeping fit again. After some 
 
 !ays his friends were prevailed on to 
 
 !ry ahat remeilies might efi'eci : and 
 
 I'cordiii^ly one Mr.'Gibhs, an ajio- 
 
 t'lecary, bled, blistered, cnpj>ed, aud 
 
 caiified iiinii and used all tiie cxter- 
 
 .;ii irritating medicines he could think 
 
 >!■ but all C(^ no purpose. Victuals 
 
 4 E
 
 554 Literary Curiosities, ^HpitapAs, iVonderful Events, 
 
 stood by him as befoie, uliich he ate 
 now and tlieii, but nobodv ever shv. 
 liim eat or evacuate, though he did 
 both as he had occasion, and thtv 
 often found hini fast asleep with tiie 
 pot in ids hand abed, and sometimes 
 with his month full of meat. In thi- 
 manner he lay until the 7'h of Aug 
 which was seventeen weeks from the 
 time he began to sleep, and then lie 
 awaked, put on his clothes, and walk- 
 ed about ti)e room, not knowing that 
 he slept so long, until g<nng into the 
 fields he found people busy in getting 
 in llieir harvest, and he remembered 
 that when he f»,ll asleep, they were 
 sowini; their oats and barley. From 
 this lime he reinniiicd well until the 
 I7tii of August, l6'97, when he com- 
 plaineii of a hliivering and a coldness 
 in his back, vomited once or twice, 
 and the same day he fell fast asleep 
 again. Dr. Oliver (from whom this 
 account is taken) went to see him, 
 and fs It his pulse, which was liien 
 Tery regular, lie was in a breathing 
 sweat, and had an agreeable warintii 
 ail over his body. The doctor then 
 put his niou'h to liis ear, and called 
 him as loud as he could several times 
 by liis name, pulled him by the shoul- 
 ders, pinched iiis nose, stopped his 
 mouth and nostrils, but to no purpose; 
 the man not giving the least sign of 
 bis being sensible. Upon this the 
 doctor lield a phial of sal-nmmoniac 
 under one of his nostrils, and injected 
 about lialf an ounce of it up one of 
 his nostrils, but it only made his nose 
 run, and his eye-lids shiver and trem- 
 ble a little. Finding no success this 
 \vay, the doctor crammed that nos- 
 tril with powder of white hellebore, 
 and waited for some time to see what 
 effect it would produce, but the man 
 did not discover tiie least imeasiness 
 The doctor then h ft him, fully satis- 
 tied that he was really asleep, and n(» 
 sullen counterfeit as some peo|desup 
 j)Osed. About ten days after, an 
 apothecary took fourteen ounces of 
 
 blood from his arm, and tied it np 
 aiiain, and left him as he found him, 
 without his nu'king the least n»otioii 
 ill the while. The latter end of Sept. 
 Dr. Oliver saw liim again, and a gen- 
 lleman ran a large pin into his arm to 
 ihe very bone, but he gave no signs of 
 being sensible what was done to him. 
 In this manner he lay until the Ifjtli 
 f Noveniber, when his mother hear- 
 ing him make a noise, ran immedi- 
 ately up to him, and found him eating: 
 she aske<l him how he did; "Very 
 .\ell," he said, " thank God.'" — And 
 again she asked him which he liked 
 best, bread and butter, or bread and 
 cheche ; he answered, " bread and 
 cheese. Whereupon the woman over- 
 joyed, ran down stairs to acquaint 
 iiis brother of it, and both coming np 
 again, presently, they found him as 
 fast asleep as ever. Thus he conti- 
 r>ued until the end of January or be- 
 ginning of February, at which lime 
 he awaked perfectly well, remcniber- 
 ing nothing that had happened ail the 
 while. It was observed .that he was 
 very little altered in his flesh, only he 
 complained the cold pinched him 
 more than usual, and so went about 
 iiis business *as at other times. — This 
 Clinton lived at Timsbury, near Bath. 
 Philosophical Transactions. 
 
 Windows Glazed. 
 DOCTOR Lyne, once a physician 
 (fsome enjinence in Ireland, would 
 never suffer a window in his house to 
 be glazed; for the last fifty years of 
 his life he lay in a room wliich had 
 four windort's, tw« on each side of 
 his bed, all of which continued un- 
 ^lazed both winter and sunmier; 
 md during that long period of time, 
 nobody died in the house, and he 
 ijmself was never afflicted with a 
 jough or a cold : he was eighty-live 
 \ears old at the time of his death, 
 jiid then he was carried of!', not for 
 want of ijlazed windows, but by the
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas^ Epigt^eims, Poetrij, 8fc. 5-55 
 
 small-pox : after his deati), his sun 
 caused all the windows to be gla^ei!, 
 and silica that, death became a Ire- 
 quent visitor in the house. 
 
 Velociti/ of Sounds. 
 
 DR. HEARNE informed the Royal 
 Society that the guns fired at Stock- 
 holm, in lbS5, were heard almost 
 180 English miles, and in the uaval 
 engagement between the English and 
 Patch in 16"7'2, the report of thtir 
 guns was heard above 250 miles off, 
 even as far as Shrewsbury and Wales. 
 With respect to the velocity of j-ound, 
 Dr. Derham, by the nicest expen- 
 nient, found that it flies above 12 
 niiles in a minute, and in this he 
 agrees with Mr. Flamstead and Dr. 
 Ualley. The same grnlieman ob- 
 served, that there is seme <lifference, 
 though very small, in the swiftness of 
 sounds, with or against the wind, or 
 according as the wind is stronger and 
 weaker, but that nothing accelerates 
 or retards their motion, that they 
 fly equal spaces in tqual times; and 
 that all kinds of sounds, whether beils, 
 guns, or any sonorous bodies, or 
 whether loud or languid, move with 
 the same degree of velocity. 
 
 The Coal Merchant's Dilfif. 
 
 COME bny my coais, Ibe winter's near, 
 And of your favours every year, 
 
 IMl not be unobservant — 
 At Christmas vvhen you send my pelf, 
 I'll on my bill* sni.scribe myself". 
 
 Your grate-fui humble strvant. 
 
 Vitriolic Water, 
 
 A MAN was found under water, 
 in a coi)per nnne, eig!ity-two fathamj 
 deep, where he had been killed b; 
 the falliiiir in cf a rock, which had 
 crushed both his hgs and his right 
 arm, but his f.ice, his body, and hi" 
 clothes, were all preserved entire and 
 free from putrefaction, by means of 
 the vitriol with which the water was 
 
 i impregnated, he was takf n up in the 
 year 1719? <>'i*J ^'^^ ^^^1' known by 
 an old nnner, who remembered his 
 g<;ine down by himself into the nunc, 
 in J6'70; after which the man was 
 missing, and supposed to be smother- 
 ed in the ruins. Tiiis account was 
 confirmed by several, parlicnlarly to 
 an old woman to whom he had been 
 contracted ; he had, therefore, lain 
 under ground forty-nine years, and 
 not only his clotfies and lir.en, but 
 his flesh and skin, which were almost 
 as hard as iron, had bcf n preserved 
 from corruption by the vilriolic water. 
 Pliilcsophici' I Transactions. 
 
 An Improvement recommended. 
 
 WHEN quacks, as quacks may, by good 
 
 luck to be sure. 
 Blunder out, at bap-hazard, a desperats 
 
 cure, 
 la the prints of the day, with due pomp 
 
 and parade, 
 Case, pHiifnt and doctor, are amply dis- 
 
 play'd. 
 All this in quite just, and no mortal can 
 
 blame it. 
 If they save a man's life, they've a right 
 
 to prociium it : 
 But there's rea-o . to (hink they ratght save 
 
 more lives *tilL 
 Did thev publish a list of the numbers the]/ 
 
 iciiL 
 
 The IncUisure Bill. 
 
 IF 'tis a crime in man or voman, 
 A sf'jose to pilt'er troni a lOianion ; 
 What can a piirliaai^nl excuse, 
 To steaJ a oonimoa from a goose? 
 
 The Wind. 
 
 Eitrad of a Letter jrom Nottingham 
 dated November 5, 17 Sj 
 
 BETWEEN 4 and 5 o'clock in the 
 -ifrernoon of T-.ifsday last, ,t srorin of 
 
 vind arose !ii Shunlon, near tills lown; 
 10 a few minuies it ii.'creasjd to a j)er- 
 iect hurricane, and excited the utmost 
 vinsiety on tiie mind < f every iniK-ibi- 
 
 -int ; sncti a dreadful scfi.e, as hf re 
 oresei'tetl itself to view, c<Minot be re« 
 uieiubered by thuae wbou tune lui
 
 556 Literanf Curiosities, EpifapJis, Wonderful Events, 
 
 made hoary witli a^e. In !lit> t^ourse 
 ot !js progress, it niised a car) ii con 
 siderable hciuiit from the eroiisid, 
 blew down a b;jiii helon^iu^ toWidow 
 Br;uishavv, unroofed her house, forced 
 oaf several windows from ihcir frames 
 and shook the building in a terrible 
 manner; seven trees were torn up by 
 the roots, the shop windows •f John 
 Branbv taken clear away, and his 
 dwelliiiji unroofed; the thatch cover- 
 ing of Mr. Hornbuckle's iiouse, was 
 in part destroyed ; tlie statute for hir 
 ing servants beiut;^ kept that dav, 
 several stalls were carried a consider- 
 able disfance from the places were 
 they were pitched, and the property 
 of the unhappy sntierers dibtributed 
 in various parls. One boy, in a 
 smock fiock, was raised up in the 
 air, and borne over sever.")! Iicdi^es 
 into an adj;'.cent Held. Some passen- 
 gers in a boat on the river Trent, 
 foreseeins; the da»)«er coniinj; on, 
 made for shore with all possible fcx- 
 peditiou ; ihey had no sooner reached 
 the desired haven, but the water be- 
 gan to be very troubled, large sheets 
 were forced to an amaziny heii.dit by 
 the violence of the wind, and they 
 remained witnesses of tkis dreadful 
 concussion of the element until all be- 
 came Calm a{,'aiu. 
 
 The Law of the Road. 
 THE law of the roHd is a paradox quite ; 
 
 For when yon are Irav'lling: along^, 
 If you keep to the /e/^ you'll be sure to be 
 n\qhf, 
 If you Iseep to the r/^Af you'll be wrong. 
 
 A surprising Child. 
 DIED on Tuesday evening, sud- 
 f'«^nly, at the sign of the Ciiflord's- 
 Tower, upon Peaseliolm-Green, York, 
 where she had been exhibited to the 
 ' curious for a few days past, the sur- 
 pminij s'Santic Worcestershire girl. 
 This child was only tive years old in 
 June hist, was very beautifully and 
 liandsonieljr made, aud f_iuite "active 
 
 i^nd aoreeable, although she was four 
 (eet in In-ight, four feet two inches 
 round tiie breast, four feet six inches 
 round the liij)s, and round each leg 
 eighteen inches: she weighed near two 
 hundred weight, and was in every 
 respect well-prrn)ortioned. 
 
 York Chronicle, October 31, 1T88, 
 
 Anecdote of a Weaver. 
 
 A WEAVER who had sold a web 
 at Strabine-maiket, Ireland, was so 
 careful as to tie two guineas and a 
 half he had got in the corner of a 
 handkerchief which was about his" 
 neck. On his way hon)e near Castle- 
 fin, he observed a hare sleeping in a 
 bush near the road, whidi he went 
 and caught. He had not taken it far 
 before he saw some parti idges, wducli 
 he thought he might take in the 5>ame 
 maimer; he took the handkerchief 
 from his neck and tie<l round the fore 
 legs and the neck of the hare, and 
 laid it down ; before he sjoi to the 
 partridges a shot was fired, which 
 startled the hare, and off it went, and 
 the poor man lost hare, handkerchief 
 and money. 
 
 Accommodation. 
 
 SOUTHAMPTON'S wise sons found the 
 river so large, 
 
 Though 'twould carry a ship, 'twould not 
 carry a barge ; 
 
 Bui soon this defect their wise noddles sup- 
 plied, 
 
 For they cut a snug ditch to rua close by- 
 its side. 
 
 Lihe a man who contrividg a hole tbroagb 
 a wall. 
 
 To admit his two cats^ the one great, t'other 
 small ; 
 
 Where a great hole was made for great puss 
 to pass through, 
 
 Had a little hole cut for his little cat too. 
 
 ^rief. 
 
 I'VE lost my mistress, horse and wife, 
 And when I think on human life. 
 
 Cry mercy 'lis no worse; 
 My wife was sickly, wan and old, 
 I\]y mistress faithless, and a scold— 
 
 Vm sorry Jor my horse.
 
 Interest ii*g Narratives^ Enif/mas,' Epigrajns, Poetry^ %c. 557 
 
 JEnigmatkal List of Women's Chris' 
 tian Names. 
 
 TMREE-fifrhs ^f a hkh priest of 
 tlie Jews, whose name in Hebrew sig- 
 nilit's gnicious. 
 
 Half of the pinion of a hawk's wing 
 and an interjecUHn of i,'rifcf. 
 
 Half of a gitat number, and half 
 a Spanish coin. 
 
 Tlirpc-fonrths of the god of war, 
 and- where poor poets are said to 
 dwell. 
 
 Half of the bird representing a 
 swallow, and half of the chief river in 
 Oreat Britain. 
 
 Three-fourtiis of Apollo's favorite 
 instriMiient and a tumult. 
 
 One-third of aw evening meal, three 
 fourths of tine gravel, and half of the 
 Bntisii fief t. 
 
 The mother of Samuel the prophet 
 
 Five-sixihs of a passage over a river 
 and half of <i biirning nior.nlain. 
 
 Four-tifliis ofau fd;b!e root, and a 
 straight stroke. 
 
 What Job was blessed with. 
 
 To permit, and water congealed. 
 
 One of Jacob's wives. 
 
 A dome-tic animal two-thirds of the 
 produce of grass, and the pronucia- 
 tion of the coat of a cheese. 
 
 A domestic animal, three-fourths 
 of the contrary to soft, and three- 
 fourths of an odd number. 
 
 Half an ornament worn by the an- 
 tient monarchsj and half an appella- 
 tion. 
 
 Two-fifths of a month, and half a 
 Spanish coin. 
 
 A vowel, the contrary to fat, and 
 two-thirds of a circle. 
 
 Half burnt wood, a portion, and half 
 a Spanish wine. 
 
 Three-si.\ths of a prophet, half a 
 tragedy, a wager and a letter. 
 
 Three-fourths of a planet, and the 
 uppermost floor of a house. 
 
 Half a town in Buckinghamshire, 
 and half the chief river in England, 
 
 A city in Italy. 
 
 Two-thirds of a conjunction, and 
 a liquid ktter. 
 
 H.ilf a noble beast, and three-se- 
 venths of a preciaus stone. 
 
 Two-»hirds t)f a drunkard, half a 
 man's Christian name, and a vowel. 
 
 The inn. 
 
 JERRY dyinjf intestate, iiig refatives 
 
 claim'd, 
 Whilst his widow most vilely liis mem'ry 
 
 defam'd : 
 '* What!" cries stie, " must I suffer be« 
 
 " cause the old knave, 
 " Without leaving a will, is laid snug in 
 
 line grave ?' 
 " That's no wonder," says one, " for 'tis 
 
 " very well known, 
 " Since he married, poor man, he'd no will 
 
 •' of his own." 
 
 f 
 
 The StroUer^s Progrest. 
 
 FROM Hereford the jovial crew departed, 
 Kings vvalk'd on foot, and princesses were 
 
 carted. 
 Great Owonoko, from his privy purse, 
 T' Imoinda cdu'dn't ev'n procure a horse ; 
 Fani'd Monteziim i Inr'd au humnle Ijack ; 
 And he who jfrasp'd the world oow rode a- 
 
 pack ! 
 Thus on the read no more than mortal men, 
 Arriv'd at Liidlow, ail are kisgs again 1 
 
 On a Music and Dancing Masfrr, who de- 
 camped ID nil a Subscription. 
 
 HIS time was quick, his touch was fleet. 
 
 Our gold he nimbly^ngcrV ; 
 Alike alert with hands a.ud/eet. 
 
 His movements have not linger'd. 
 
 Where lies the wonder of the case ? 
 
 A moment's thsught detrcts it ; 
 His practice bns been thcrovgh-iass, 
 
 A chord will be his exit. 
 
 Lawyer and Clients. 
 
 TWO lawyers, when a knotty case was oW, 
 
 Shook hands, and were as friendly as be- 
 fore : 
 
 " Say," cries the losing client, " bow came 
 " you, 
 
 " To be such friends, who were such foe^ 
 "just now?" 
 
 " Thon fool !" one answers, *' lawyers, 
 " tho' so keen, 
 
 " Like sheers, ne'er cut themselves, bi)^ 
 '< what'is between,''
 
 658 
 
 Literary Curiosities^ ^pitaplis, IVoncterful Events, 
 
 William IIL and Mary II. 
 
 "iVILLIAM was naturally of a vtrt 
 feeble coiislitution, and it was almo--i 
 exhausted by h series of continual 
 disquietude and ac(i()n. He iiad en- 
 tleavoured to repair Lis ctir)>>titution, 
 or, at least, to conceal its decays, by 
 exercise and riding. On the twenty- 
 Jirst of February, in riding to llamp- 
 lon-couit from Kenbinjitc n, his hor'^e 
 fell und^r him, and he was throw?, 
 vith such violence that his collar- 
 "bone was fractured. His attendant- 
 conveyed him to the palace of Hamp- 
 ton court, where the f;aciii!e was re- 
 duced, and in the evening he retunud 
 to Kensington in iiis coach. The jolt- 
 ing 01 the carriage disunited the frac- 
 ture once more, and the bones were 
 again replaced under Bidloo, his phy- 
 sician. For sonie time he appeared 
 in a fair way of recovery ; but faliinu 
 asleep on his couch, he was seized 
 with a shivering, which terminated in 
 a fever and dianheeri, which soon be- 
 came dangerous and desperate. Per- 
 ceiving his end approaching, the ob- 
 jects of his former care by still next 
 his heart, and the fate of Europe 
 seemed to remove the sensations he 
 might be supposed to feel for his own. 
 The eail of Albemarle arriving from 
 Holland, he conferred with him in 
 private on the posture of affairs al)road, 
 and, two da}s after, he expired, in the 
 filiy-tecond year o( his age, after hav- 
 ing reigned thirteen years. He was in 
 his person of the middle statuie, a thin 
 bofly, and had an hqnihne nose, spaik- 
 ling eyes, a laige foichead, and a grave 
 solemn aspect. 
 
 JNlAllY was in her pcison tall and 
 well-propoitiofied, with an oval visage, 
 lively eyes, agreeable features, a mild 
 aspect, and an air of dignity. Her 
 apprehension was clear, lier memory 
 tenacious, and her judgnienl solid. 
 She was a zealous protestant, of an 
 even temper, and of calm and miUi 
 sonvtfsation. She was rutied by no 
 
 passion, and seems to have been a 
 stranger to the emotions ot natural 
 ifTectioi; for she ascended, without 
 compunction, the throne fronj winch 
 her father had been deposed, and 
 treated her sister as an alien to her 
 I'lood. In a word. Mary seems to 
 have imbibed the cold disposition and 
 apathy of her husband; and to have 
 centred all her ambition in deserving 
 the epithet of an humble and obedi- 
 ent wile. She did not long survive 
 htr favourite prelate, Dr. John Tillot- 
 son, archtiishop of Canterbury, uho 
 was seized with a tit of the dead palsy 
 in the cha| el ol ^Vhitchall, and died 
 on the 22d oi Noven)ber, deeply re- 
 grelleu by the king and queen. In 
 about a month tifiei his decease, sh« 
 was taken ill of the small-pox, and 
 the svmptoms proving dangerous, she 
 prepared herself for death with great 
 composure. She spent some time in 
 the exercises of devotion and piivata 
 conversation with the new archbishop ; 
 she received the sacrament with all 
 the bishops who were in attendance, 
 and expired on the 28lh of Decem- 
 ber, in !he thirty-third year of her 
 age, and in the '•ixth of her reign, to 
 lUe inexpressible grief of the king, 
 who for some weeks after her death 
 could neither see conn)any nor attend 
 to the busipess of state* 
 
 Case of Conscience* 
 
 A JEW travelling, slept at an ale- 
 house, and asked (or something to 
 eat. Nothing was to be had but a 
 rasher of bacon. His conscience said 
 no, while his hungry belly loudly 
 spoke the contrary. The privacy too 
 of the place made him venture on the 
 forbidden food. Just as he was about 
 to swallow the first mouthful, came a 
 iremendous clap of thunder. Oujr 
 Israelite drop(>ed the meat exclaiming, 
 " Here is a oois« about a bit oi bar 
 con I"
 
 Interpsfhig N((rrat)res^ Ea/qmns, Epigrams, Potfry^ ••«: 
 
 553 
 
 A Duel. 
 
 DR. YOUNG was once on a party 
 of pleiisuie wilh a few ladies, guiui; 
 up by water to Vauxhall, aiul he 
 amused them wiih a tune on the Ger. 
 man flute. Behind him several officfr^ 
 weie also in a boat rowing for the 
 same place, and soon came alongside 
 ihe boat in which were the doctor and 
 his party. The doctor, who wa*. 
 never conceited of his playing, put 
 up his flute on their approach. One 
 of the officers iiiilanlly asked vshv he 
 ceased to play, or put up his flute. 
 "For the same reason," said he, " that 
 I took it out— to please myself." The 
 son of Mars very peremptorily re- 
 joined, that if be did not instantly 
 take out his flute, and continue his 
 music, he would throw him into the 
 Thames. The doctor, in order t» al- 
 lay the fears of the ladies, pocketed 
 the insult, and continued to play all 
 the way up the river. Durins the 
 evening, however, he observed the of- 
 ficer by himself in one of the walks, 
 and making up to him, said, with great 
 cooInes«, " It was, sir, to avoid in- 
 lerrupling the harmony either of mv 
 company oryoui's, that I complic-d 
 with your arrogant demand : but that 
 you may be satisfied courage may be 
 ibund under a black coat as well as 
 under a red one, I evpect that you 
 will meet me to-morrow morning at a 
 certain place, without any second, 
 the qua'rel being entirely entre nous." 
 The doctor further covenantei!, th.at 
 the affair should he decided bv swords. 
 To all these conditions the ofricer as- 
 sented. The duellists met; but the 
 moment the officer took the ground, 
 the doctor pulled out a hor-e-p>stnl 
 "What!" said the officer, "do you 
 intend to assassinate me]" "No," re- 
 plied the doctor; " but you '.hall in- 
 stantly put up your s^vord and dance 
 a minuet, otherwise you are a dead 
 man." The othcer began to bluster, 
 but the doctor was resolute, and he 
 
 was obliged \r, comply. '* Now, "said 
 Young, " you torced me to play 
 against my will, and I have made you 
 .lance against yout's ; we are ilicrefurc 
 again on a level, and whatever other 
 satisfaction you may require i aui 
 able to give it. 
 
 Baron Munchausen. 
 THE captain of a West Indiamaa 
 who could thoot a long bow, toh! this 
 story: " Gentlemen, last year, coniiirg 
 over the banks of Newfoundland, we 
 hooked an immense shark, and there 
 appealed a difficulty of getting him 
 up on board. I went down to my 
 cabin for rov pistols, and just as I was 
 ioing to fire one of them at him, it 
 slipped out of my liand and fell iirio 
 the sea. Stem after, the shark broke 
 the line and made his escape. Well, 
 gentlemen, coming home this voyage, 
 about the same latitude, we again 
 hooked a shai-k, and with some diffi- 
 culty he was hauled on deck. As 
 they were cuttiug him up, I was sur- 
 prised at the ripott of something liks 
 a pistol shot ; and, gentlemen, would 
 you believe it, this was the identical 
 shark which had swallowed my pistol, 
 and it now went oft' in consequence 
 of a stroke of the knife with which 
 they were ripping up his belly. You 
 mav perhaps think 1 have used a li- 
 cence too often indulged in by travel- 
 lers, and fabricated this slorj ; but 
 my mate and all my people, if they 
 were here, would tell you the sami;." 
 
 The JVoj^ks of ah English Minister. 
 
 ON four windows in succession on 
 the ground floor, in a corner hou^e 
 ill one of the squares, being stopi)ed 
 up to avoid the window-tax. in iZS-l-, 
 same one ihalkeH on the bricks, which 
 tlenoled where the windows had been, 
 Pitt's Ho: lis, vol. I, vol. 2, vol. 3, 
 vol. 4.
 
 S60 Literary Curhsities, Ep'daphs, Wotidei-fid Events^ 
 
 Aew Jurisdiction. 
 
 WHEN counsellor Madaii was once 
 at Croyden assizes, he went, in com- 
 pany vvitli a very beautiful young lady, 
 lo hear tlie trials. In the cdurse of 
 conversation, the lady happened tv 
 say that bh^' tkought soriife of the little 
 offenders were puni>hed wiih too 
 much severity, while others, though 
 guilty of gre;itcr crimes, were suffeie<l 
 to escape. " Do not you think so, 
 sir?"—*' I do madam," replied he, 
 *• and if you will lend me youi pencil, 
 I will i;ivc it you under my hand." 
 He immediately wrote the following 
 lines: 
 
 "Whilst petty offences and felonies smart, 
 Is there no jurisdiction for stealing a heart r 
 Yoa, fair one, may smile, and cry, " Law, 
 
 I dely you ! 
 Assur'd that no peers can be summoned lo 
 
 try you, 
 But think not this paltry defence will se- 
 cure ye. 
 The Mnse« and Graces will just make a 
 jury." 
 
 Progress of a modern Tradesman. 
 
 TAKE a shop and stock it well 
 with haberdashery, butter and cheese, 
 or tobacco, chietly purchased with 
 bills of your own, or others as good. 
 About a month alter you have 0|>ened 
 a shop, keep a horse, and dine out 
 every Sunday at Hiahgnte, Dulwich, 
 or Shooter' s-hiU. In a little time clap 
 a whisky ta the hoi^e; presently af- 
 terward get another horse, and buy 
 your>elf a phaeton, and then have a 
 footman to ride alter you. As soon 
 as 3 ou can do this, take a country- 
 house at iMarybone, Mile-end, or 
 Deptfoid-road. Vou must then have 
 a coach or a chariot to carry you out 
 of town on the Friday afternoen, and 
 bring 3'ou back again on the Tuesday 
 morning. All this may be done in 
 the course of a twelvemonth, when a 
 commission of bankruptcy conies, like 
 an exiinguisker, and puts au end- to 
 the whole. 
 
 Juvenile Wit. 
 
 DR. SHERIDAN, the friend of 
 Swift, had a custom oF ringing his 
 scholars to praters, in the school- 
 ro«m, at a cettain hour every day. 
 The boys uere one day very devoutly 
 at prayers, eNcept one, who was sti- 
 fling a laagh as well as he could, which 
 arose from seeing a rat descending 
 from the bell-rope into the room. The 
 poor boy could hold out no longer, 
 but burst into an immoderate fit of 
 laughter, which set the others a-going, 
 'vhen he pointed to the cause. She- 
 iidan was so provoked, that he de- 
 clared he would whip them aU if the 
 principal culprit was not piiinted out 
 to him, which was immediately done. 
 The poor pupil of Momus was imme- 
 diately hoisted, and his posteriors laid 
 bare to the rod, wlien the witty school- 
 master told him, if he said any thing 
 tolerable on the occasion, as he looked 
 on him as the greatest dunce in his 
 school, he would forgive him. The 
 trembling culprit, witli very little he- 
 sitation, addressed his master witU 
 the following distich : 
 
 There was a rat, for want of stairs. 
 Came down a rope — to go to pray'rs. 
 
 China and Crockery. 
 
 A LADY of rank, proudly con- 
 scious of her dignity, one day des- 
 canting on the superiority of the iio- 
 l-'ility, remarked to a large company 
 ot visitors, that the three classes of 
 the community, nobility, gentry, and 
 commonality y might very well be com- 
 [lared to the tea-di inking utensils, 
 
 liina, delph, and crockery. A few 
 minutes elapsed, when ©ne of the 
 i-onipany expressed a wish to see the 
 lady's little girl, who was in the nur- 
 sery. John, the footman, was dis- 
 oatched with oroters to the nursery- 
 maid, to whom he called out from 
 the bottom of the stairs, in an audi- 
 
 -le voice, " Hollo, crockery, bring 
 
 town liule china."
 
 Inferesfin{f Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, S;c. 561 
 
 Queen Anne. 
 
 ANNE, married to prince George 
 of Denmaik, Mscended the throne in 
 the thirtN-eioh'h ^ear of her age, t(/ 
 the general saiisfaction of all parties. 
 She was the second daughter of Uing 
 James, by his first wife, the dauahtei 
 of chancellor Hyde, alterwards eati 
 of Clarendon. The dissentions of her 
 ministry towards the close of her re'ixn 
 had such an effect upon hei spirits ai.d 
 constituliop, that she declared she 
 could not outlive it, and iminediaieU 
 sunk into a state of lethaigic insensi- 
 bility. Notwithstanding all the me- 
 dicines which the physicians conld 
 prescribe, the distemj)er gained ground 
 so fast, that they despaired of her 
 life, and the privy-council was assem- 
 bled on the occasion. All the mem- 
 bers, without distiiiction, being sum- 
 moned from the different parts of the 
 kingdom, begun to provide for the 
 security o( the constitution. They 
 sent a letter to the elector of Hanover, 
 informing him of the queen's de^pe- 
 late situation, and desiring him lo 
 repair lo Holland, where he would 
 be attended by a British «qnadron to 
 convey him to England. At the same 
 time they dipatched instructions to 
 the earl of Siraff-nd at the Ha>'ue, to 
 desire the striie—jeneral to be readv 
 to perform the guarantee of the Pro- 
 testant succession. Precautions were 
 taken to secure the sea-poits; and 
 the command cf the fleet was be- 
 stowed upon the eail ot Beikeley, a 
 proteased Whig. '1 bese measure-;, 
 which were all dictated by that partv, 
 answered a double end It argued 
 their own alacrit\ in the cause of 
 their new sovereign, and seemed to 
 imply a danger to the state from the 
 disaffection of the opposite interest 
 
 On the 30th of July, 1714-, the 
 queen seemed some what relieved by 
 medicii)e'<, rose from her bed about 
 eight o'clock, and walked a little. 
 After some time, casting her eyes on 
 
 a clock that stood in htrchimber, 
 she continued to gaze at it for some 
 minutes. Onb of the ladies in wait- 
 ing asked her what she saw there 
 in«)re than usual; to which tfte queen 
 only answered, by turning her eyes 
 upon her with a dying look. Shewus 
 soon after seized with a fit of apo- 
 plexy ; she continued all night in a 
 stale of stupefaction, and expired the 
 tallowing morning, in the forty-ninth, 
 year of her age. She reigned more 
 than twelve years over a people who 
 were now risen to the highest piuh of 
 refinement; who had attained by their 
 wisdom all the advantages of opu- 
 lence, and by their v.iiour aW the hap« 
 piness of security and conquest. 
 
 A small Mistake. 
 
 AN uninformed Irishman hearing 
 the Sphinx alluded to m c< mi^any, 
 ahispered tu his companion,, "Sphinx ! 
 who is that?'' "A monster man." 
 " Ob !" said our Hibernian, not to 
 seem unacqiiainted with his family, 
 "ff Munstcr-man, I the ugbt he was 
 from Connaught." 
 
 Benffif of Astronomy. 
 
 M. LALANDE, the French astro* 
 mrr, duiing the whole time of the 
 levoluiion, confined himself to the 
 study of ihat science, When he found 
 that he had escaped the fury of Ro- 
 bespierre, hf ji'coscly said, " I may 
 thank my stars for it." 
 
 How to he a Cotmoissenr. 
 
 A LADY, to whom a painter had 
 promised the best picture in his col- 
 lection, knew not which to take, and 
 hit upf)n this stratagem : — She sent a 
 person to the painter, who was jinm 
 home, to tell him that his hi)U'^^e was 
 on fire: "Take care of nr^ Cleopa- 
 tra," exclaimed the artist. The next 
 day the lady seiit for the Cleopatra. 
 4 c
 
 562 Literarrj Curiosities^ Epitaphs, IVonderful Events^ 
 
 Various Phcenvmena of the Ocean. 
 
 AS the natives of the deep are con- 
 tinually obliged to devour one an- 
 other tor necessary subsistence, wiih- 
 out extraordinary recruits the whoU' 
 watery race must soon be totally cn- 
 tinct. Were ihcy to bring forth iH' 
 more at a birth than land animals 
 the increase would be far too small 
 for the consumption. . The weaker 
 fcpccies would soon be destroyed b> 
 the stronger, and the stronger them- 
 selves must soon after perish for want 
 of food. Theicfore, to supply mil- 
 lions of animals with subsistence, the) 
 ipawn not by scores, but by millions. 
 A single lemale pioduces a nation. 
 The great naturalist, Mr. Lcuwen- 
 hoeck, counted in an ordinary cod 
 5.384,000 pgC"^. By this amazing ex- 
 pedient, constant reparation is made 
 proportionable to the immense havoc. 
 And as the sea abounds with animal 
 inhabitants, so it does also with ve- 
 getable productions; some soft as 
 wool, others hard as stone. Some 
 rise like a leafless shrub; some arc 
 expanded in the form of a net; some 
 grow with their heads hanging down- 
 vaid, and seem rather suspended than 
 springing from the jutlings of the 
 rocks. 
 
 The herbs and trees on the dry 
 land are frd by the juices that per- 
 meate the soil, and float in the air. 
 .For this purpose they are furnished 
 with leaves to collect the one, and 
 viih roots to atliact the other. — 
 Whereas the sea plants, having suffi- 
 cient nourishment in the circumam- 
 Jbient waters, liave no i^.eed to detach 
 roots into the ground, or forage the 
 frarth for sustenance. Instead, there- 
 fore, of penetrating, they are but just 
 tacked to the bottom; and adlieie to 
 some solid substance only with such a 
 tenacity, as may secure them from 
 L(?ing tossed to and fro by the agita- 
 lion of the waves. 
 
 Tkti sea is that grand reservoir. 
 
 which supplies the earth with its fer- 
 tility ; and the air and sun are the 
 mighty engines, which work without 
 intermission, to raise the water from 
 this inexhaustible cistern. The clouds, 
 as aqueducts, convey the genial stores 
 along the atmosphere, and distribute 
 them in seasonable and regular pro- 
 portions through all the regions of 
 the ah'be. 
 
 Willi what difficulty do we extract 
 a dro^) of peifectly sweet water fron:^ 
 this vast pit of brine! Yet the surj 
 diaws off every moment million^ of 
 tuns in va|)orous exhalations, which, 
 being securely lodged in the clouds, 
 are sent abroad sweetened and refined, 
 without the least brackish tincture, 
 or bituminous sediment ; sent abroad 
 upon the wings of the winds, to distil 
 in dews and rain, to oo?e in fountains, 
 to trickle along in rivulets, to roll 
 from the sides of mountains, to flow 
 in copious streams amid burning de- 
 sarts and through populous kingdotiis, 
 in Older to refresh and fuitilize, to 
 beautify and enrich, every soil in 
 eveiy clime. 
 
 How amazing are the goodness and 
 power of the world's adorable Maker, 
 in distributing so largely what is so 
 extensively beneficial ! that water, 
 without which we can scarcely per- 
 iorm any business, or enjoy any com- 
 fort, should stream by our bouses, 
 should come from the ends of the 
 earth, from the extremities of the 
 ocean, to serve us ! that this bound- 
 less mass of fluitl salt, so intolerably 
 nauseous to the taste, should be the 
 original spring that quenches the thirst 
 both of man and every other species 
 of animals ! Doubtless the power by 
 which this is efi'ected can make all-. 
 things work together for good. 
 
 Besides the salutary and useful cir- 
 culation of the rivers, the sea has a 
 motion no less advantageous. Daily 
 for live or six hours it flows towards 
 the land, and during an equal period 
 retires froi» it. How gteat is the
 
 Interestimf Narratives^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, S^c. 565 
 
 power, {hat protruilcs to the shore? 
 such an inconceivable weight of \vatel■^ 
 Wfthoul any concurrence from the 
 wimi*, often in direct opposition to 
 them! that ('ids the niiahty element 
 revolve with the most exact piinciu- 
 ahty! Did it advance with a hiwlesh 
 and niilimited swell, it might delujie 
 U'ho'e continents. Were it irreoiilar 
 and uncertain in its approaches, na- 
 vijjation would be at a stand. Is the 
 sailoT returned from his voyage, the 
 flux, H read) to convey his vessel to 
 the very doors of the owner. Has 
 the merchaiit freighted his ship, the 
 reflux hears it away with the utmost 
 (expedition. 
 
 Mount JEtna. 
 
 THIS volcano was called the Pillar 
 of Heaven by Pindar, who flourished 
 four hundred and thirty-five years 
 Lefoie the Christian ipra. Its asto- 
 nishing height is such, that Vesuvius, 
 if placed beside it, would appear but 
 a shiajl hill. The enormous mass is 
 surrounded by smaller mountains; 
 and while the lava of Vesuvius may 
 issue its stream for seven miles, M.\.n-a 
 will emit a torrent of liquid fire thirty 
 miles m length. All tiavellers agree, 
 that this mountain affords an epitome 
 of the different climates throughout 
 the world. Towards the base it is 
 extremely hot ; further up, more tem- 
 perate; and grows gradually colder, 
 till at length the traveller pcrcieves 
 that its head is enveloped in a maiTtle 
 of eternal snow. 
 
 In the middle, at the top, stands 
 the great mouth of the volcano, which 
 is a little mountain about a quarter of 
 a mile perpendicular, and situatt;d in 
 the centre of a gently inclining plain. 
 In the middle of this little mountain 
 is a large hollow, the inside of which 
 is incrusted with salts and sulphur of 
 different colours. In the midst of 
 this tunnel is the terrific gulf, whence 
 pontinoally issue teiribleand confused 
 
 noises, which, during (he tim^ of an 
 eruption^ may be heard at a prodi- 
 gious distance. 
 
 The great eiuption of this volcano 
 in the year \G6Q broke-out on the 
 I 1th of March, two hours before mid- 
 night, on the squth-east side of th,e 
 mountain, about twenty miles from 
 the old mouth, end ten from the city 
 ot Catania. The matier thrown out 
 was a stream of metals and minerals, 
 which ran for fifteen or twenty days 
 together info the sea, close to the 
 walls of Catania. In its course it 
 overwhelmed fourteen towns and vil- 
 lages; and during the whole time of 
 this eruption, which was fifty- four 
 days, neither sun nor stars could he 
 seen in the neighbouring country. 
 
 Nautical Reading, 
 
 A TOBACCONIST having set up 
 his chariot, in order to anticipate the 
 jokes that might be passed on tho oc- 
 casion, displayed on it the Latin 
 moUo of " Quid rides?" Tv/o sailors 
 who had often used his shop, seeing 
 him pass by in his carriage, the one 
 asked the meaning of the inscription, 
 when his companion said it was plain 
 enough, repeating them as two Englis'li 
 words, Quid rides. 
 
 Admonftory Notice, on a Stone placed in 
 the ChuTcU-yard of Lanvair in I'Vales. 
 
 Who Ever hear on sonday 
 Will pracUs playing U Ball 
 
 it May Be be Fore miinday 
 The devil Will Have yoa All. 
 
 Advancement in Life, 
 
 AN auctioneer having cotnmence3 
 publican, and soon after being thrown 
 into the king's bench, the following 
 ariicle appeared in a new paper: 
 " Mr. -^ — , who lately left the pidpii 
 for the bar, is promoted tq the bench, 
 4c 2
 
 564 Literary Curiosities^ EpitapJis^ Wonderful Events^ 
 
 A Murder. 
 
 IN 1608, a vouuo genllemari of 
 the name of Sto'obi.ie, of tht West 
 country, came to L"n'{.)ii, and mar- 
 riid the jDuni-est cljugliler of Mrs. 
 Abiceahl, who in fiftft-u months was 
 delivennl of a dauj^utcr. In 1679 ^^^^ 
 Myltystre, a widow, (the eldest dituiih- 
 ter of Mrs. Abiceald,) haviHi; grt-atly 
 increased her means, set up for a wo- 
 man of fashion, and invited Mr 
 Stobbine, his wife, and daui-hter, who 
 had retired in the countiy, to come 
 and pass tlie wii»fer with her in Lon- 
 don. This Mrs M\h\slre had a hns- 
 barid's brotiier, wlio, under t lie cUjak 
 of a captain, covered a notorious 
 gamesljer. Slie liad also a relation 
 that was v»n apothecary. It happen- 
 ed that these al! dined together at 
 Mrs. Myll.vstre's on the birth-day of 
 JMrs. Stobbine's daughter ; and after 
 dinner retired into the parlour, and 
 passing the time in common chit-chat, 
 the little daughter took up a sword 
 that was in the roitm, and pointing it 
 directly to Mr. Stobbine, cried <jui, 
 " btick him ! stick bin) ! stick hiiu ! ' 
 ** What," says Mr. Stobbine, "would 
 you stick your father 1" The child re 
 plied, " Yon are not my father. — 
 Ctptain Mjltvstre is my father!" 
 Up n which Mr. Slobbiue gave her 
 a box on the ear. Upon that th- 
 captain drew his swoid, antl thrust 
 liim through the body : down he 
 dropped, and his wife, sister and apo- 
 thecary, ill order to make sure of it, 
 all of them trampled upon him until 
 lie was quite deid Tn€y huildh d 
 up this horrid aftair, and buried iiim 
 priv.ttely ; and it was <:iven out he 
 wa-> gone into the country. Some time 
 after, a relation of the murdered, 
 came to sip him, and was told he waj 
 gone into the country. He then asked 
 i^'■r his wife. Mrs. Myltystre t(<ld 
 biin she wa.'< very iiiuci) out t-f sorts, 
 what with the grief of her husband's 
 ab^euce, and the melancholy accident 
 
 of the house being lately burnt ; but, 
 says she, I do all i can to comfort 
 her ; and I intend to give my bro«her 
 two or thrt-e thousand pouiid.s, to 
 enable him to rebinid his house. — • 
 The relation applauded l?er kindness, 
 and so departed. Some tim«^ passed 
 away, no appearance, no tidings of 
 Mr. Stobbine ; th«Ui;h messengers 
 were sent to enquire sfter him. — 
 His wife pretended to go distracted, 
 and was sent to a village a few miles 
 out of town where the captain had 
 a little box for his convenience. — ► 
 There they look their full swing, un- 
 interrupted. Some time after the 
 daughter was sent to school, but she 
 had not been there long, before the 
 remembrance of what she bad before 
 been a witness of, awoke he conscience 
 in most horrible frights and dreams. 
 Says a young lady, that was her bed- 
 fellow what is the reason that you 
 start and scream so? There is a spirit 
 in the room! Tiiere's Mr. Slobbinc's 
 spirit ! Set how dreadful it looks ! 
 In the morning the young lady ac- 
 quainted the school-mislress with the 
 a«.cii.ient of the preceding night. — 
 She sent for a rlergyn<an to talk uith 
 ihe youiig miss, to whom she dis- 
 covered (he whole affair. It was com- 
 municated to a diligent justice of the 
 peace in the neighbourhood, who dis- 
 patched proper warrants, and he soon 
 had thcHi all brought before him, 
 without any knowledge of one ano- 
 ther's being taken up, until they all 
 met together in the greatest confusion 
 and dismay, which evinced their guilt. 
 They were committed to the Gate- 
 house, and the next sessions tried at 
 the Old Bailey, and condemned upon 
 the evidence of the child, to tiie en- 
 tire satibfaction of the court and coun- 
 try. The captain was condemned to 
 ihe gibbet; Mrs. Myltystre was hang- 
 «d and thrown into the gully- hole that 
 ran near the house where she had 
 formerly lived. The apothecary wag 
 anatomised; and bis wife was ittrangled
 
 Interestimj Narratives, Enigmas, Epujrams, Poetry ^c. 565 
 
 anrl burnt, according to the custom 
 ID such like cases. 
 
 Tliey were attended at Tyburn by 
 an Irish priest of the Romish church, 
 called M'Aithy, wbogdve them -abso- 
 lution, and they all died negative. 
 
 Royal yiagazine, i762. 
 
 Malignant Vapour. 
 
 AS some persons were digi;ini» in 
 a cellar at Paris, for supposed hidden 
 treasures, the njaid went down to call 
 up hf r master, and found them all 
 dead, but in their working postures, 
 and seemingly intent on their several 
 offices, one digging, another shovel- 
 ing away the earth, &c The wife ot 
 one theiM was sat down on the side of 
 an hopper, leaning her htad on her 
 arm, as if weary ai;d thoughtful; «ind 
 a bt)y with his clothes down was 
 evacuating on the edge of a pit. All 
 of them, in short, appeared in their 
 natural postures and actions, with 
 open eyes but stiff as statutes, and 
 as cold as clay. (Dr. Comor.) 
 
 The above was from a malignant 
 vapour in the cellar. 
 
 An Enigmatical List of Poets. 
 
 THREE-liflhs of a portion of land, 
 tvvo-tiflhs to tremble, and half of a 
 Jewd woman. 
 
 The reverse of wet, and a cave. 
 
 Two-fifths of the scale of music, 
 and a vowel. 
 
 Four-sixths of a man's Christian 
 name, and half of a short song. 
 
 Two- fifths of an amphibious ani- 
 iiial, and a path. 
 
 Four-sixths of a fish, and the bailiff 
 of a manor. 
 
 Four-fifths of a young ox, and half 
 a jump. 
 
 A principal grace in music^ a lance 
 and a vowel. 
 
 One-third of an animal, one-eighth 
 of civility, and tbreegeveilhs of to be 
 sure. 
 
 Three-sevenths of an herb, one-fifth 
 of a tlowcrj and half of a precious 
 stone. 
 
 One-third ef a metrical composition 
 and Iwo-seventlis ol a fowl. 
 
 One-third of a species of wit, three 
 fifths of a colour, and half of to con- 
 ceal. 
 
 Half of a musical instrument, one- 
 fourth of to cry, and tluee-tighths of 
 to threaten. 
 
 Two-sevenths of an Athenian orator, 
 one-fifth of a goddess of infants, and 
 half of to cojifuse. 
 
 One-fourth of an officer, three- 
 I eiiihths of to divide, and two-sevenths 
 of to burden. 
 
 Half of a gun, the initial of an ar- 
 tifice, and one sixth of old Neptune's 
 trumpeter. 
 
 Two-ninths of a bird, one- fourth of 
 nn insect, and half of an East-India 
 Island. 
 
 Three-fifths of a village, one-eighth 
 of a Gernjan title, and three-sevenths 
 uf the Latin for sound. 
 
 Half the goddess of autumn, half 
 of a quarrel, and two-ninths of a 
 Saxon monarch. 
 
 Three-eighths of a gift and half of 
 a part of yourself. 
 
 The initial of a tree, three-fifths of 
 a quadrupede, and one-fourth of a 
 science. 
 
 Two-ninths of a city, and half oi 
 prosperity. 
 
 Three-eights of a mirror, one-sixth 
 of a spice, and three-sevenths of a 
 reptile. 
 
 Two-fifths of to salute, and an affir- 
 mation. 
 
 One-third of powerful, and half of 
 a kind of turf. 
 
 Three-sevenths of gaily, and four- 
 sevenths of a distemper. 
 
 Half of a city, and three-sevenths 
 I if a freeman. 
 
 Thrte-fourlhs of to contract, an(i 
 three-fourths of an accent. 
 
 IHalf a false pretence, two-fifths of" 
 establish, and d wei^jht.
 
 555 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs^ WomJerful Events^ 
 
 Two-third of a knapsack, and two- 
 fifllis o) to destroy. 
 
 Tiiroe-seventlis of origiual, and a 
 colour iii heraldry. 
 
 'IVo-sevenths of a' round buiidinj', 
 a;)d ono-»!iird of a small anin)«!. 
 
 n.ilf ol heretofore and three-fourths 
 of suspended. 
 
 Half of an ensign of aut'iority, and 
 half a small poem. 
 
 Three-fourllis of ostentation and to 
 vex. 
 
 Two fifths of a sly gazer, one-tliiid 
 of unlawful and three-fourths of a 
 prospect. 
 
 Four-ninths of a repast, and half of 
 to insinuate. 
 
 The Good Wife. 
 
 A GENTLEiVlAN ofvery ancient 
 family, and considerable estate, was 
 inariied to a lady of beauty, wit, vir 
 tue, and good humour: but though 
 he knew and acknowledged the merits 
 ©f his wife, yet he was a man of so 
 depraved a ta^te, that the most dirty 
 creature he could pick up, frequently 
 supplied her place. 
 
 It hiipponed when they were at 
 (heir country seat, that, riding one 
 morning to take the air, as was hi« 
 usual custom, he met a ragged coun- 
 try wench, with a pair of wallets, or 
 coarse linen bags, thrown over her 
 shoulders. He stopped his horse, and 
 asked what i^he had got there. To 
 which-she replied, with alow courtesy, 
 after her fashion, that it was broken 
 victuals ; that her mother and she 
 had no sustenance but what they got 
 from the charity of the rooks at greiit 
 teullemen's houses ; and that she (\as 
 now going home with what they had 
 given her. You need not be in haste I 
 suppose, said h« ; if you will step with 
 ine into yonder field, I will give you 
 something to buy a iievv gown. The 
 poor girl needed not iniich persuasion 
 to bring her to consent : on which he 
 aJi^hltd ff oiu feis horse, and threw 
 
 the bridle over a hedge stake ; — the 
 girl, al the same time, hung her bags 
 on the pommel <>f the saddle, to pre- 
 vent their coming to any harm ; — 
 he then f I'owtd the gentleman a lit- 
 li'- way out of the roa<t. 
 
 Tlie horse not liking his situation, 
 ■ouMd n:eans to get luo^se, and ran di- 
 recily home. The lad\, by chance, 
 was at the window when he can.e 
 gqlloping iiito the court )ard. She 
 was at first a little frighted to iee hiiH 
 without his rider, but perceiving tlie 
 bags, she called to have them brought 
 to her, and on their being so, was not 
 ;it a loss to guess the meaning of this 
 adventure. She then ordered the 
 cook to pmpty the wallets, and put 
 whatever she found in them into a 
 clean dish, and send it up in the first 
 course that day at dinner, which ac- 
 cordingly was done. 
 
 The husbiind, on missing his horse, 
 walked home, and brought with liini 
 two neighbouring gentlemen, wlioni 
 he accidentally met in his way. But 
 these guests did not p.revent the lady 
 from prosecuting her intention. Tlse 
 beggar's provision uas set upon the 
 table ; remnants of stale fowls, bones 
 half picked, pieces of beef, mutton, 
 iamb, veal, with several lymps of 
 breati, promiscuously huddled toge- 
 ther, made a very comical appearance. 
 —Every one presently had his eyes 
 upon this dish ; ar]d the husband, not 
 knowing what to make -of it, cried out 
 prctly hastily, what is this? what 
 have we got here? To which the lady, 
 'A ;t'i the greatest gaiety replied, it is a 
 new fiishioned Olio, my dear ; it wants 
 no variety : I tliink there is a little of 
 every thing, and I hope you will eat 
 heartily of it, as it is a dish of ybur 
 own providing. 
 
 The insigijiticant smile which ac- 
 companied these hist words, as well 
 ds the tone of voice in whicji they 
 were spoken, making him remember 
 where tiie girl had luing her wallets, 
 threw him into a good deal of cun:u»
 
 Iriteresthifj Narratives, Enigmas, Epifframs^ Poetry, ^c. 561 
 
 sion, which she perceiving ordered I 
 the dish fo he t.ik»'ii awiiy, and said, | 
 I see you don't hhe it, my dear, tlu le- 
 fore when next you Jio to uiaiUet, 
 pray be a Ijetter caterer. F'trgive 
 this, cried he, atul [ pron.ise yuu 
 never to go to any sucli niarktt njDre, 
 The gentlemen fuiiiid there wa^ 
 some mystery in all this, but would 
 not be so free as to desire au expla- 
 nation. When dinner was over, hiiw- 
 eviT, and the lady, after behaving the 
 whole time with all the cheerfulness 
 imjaginable, had retired to leave tiiein 
 to their battle, the husband made no 
 scruple of relating to them by what 
 means his table had been furnished 
 with a disii of so particular a kind; 
 at which they laughed very heartily ; 
 and would have done much more so, 
 if their admiration of the lady's wit 
 and good humour had not almost en- 
 tirely engrossed their attention. 
 
 Town and Country Magazine, 1791 . 
 
 Epigram. 
 
 WHEN Joe was poor, I he lad was frank 
 and free. 
 Of late he's grown brim full of pride and 
 pelf ; 
 Yea wonder (hat he don't remember me ; 
 Why £0 ? — You see he has forgot himself 
 
 The Mnssuhnan's Pig. 
 
 THPS says a prophet of (he Turk, 
 Good Muss-ulraen, beNvr..re of pork ; 
 There is a part in every swine, 
 No follower, or friend of mine, 
 May taste, whale'er his inclioalion; 
 On pain of excommunication. 
 Such Mahomet's raysterioiis charg-e 
 And thus he gave the joint at large : 
 Kad he the sinful part expre.ss'd, 
 They might, with safely, e?it ihe rest, 
 But, for one piece, they thought it hard. 
 From the whole pig to be debarr'd : 
 So set their wits to work to lind 
 What joint (he prophet had in mind, 
 llucb controversy therefore rose, 
 This chose the cheek, the belly ihose; 
 By some '(is. confidently said, 
 lie meant not to deny the head ; 
 Whilst others at (he doctrine rail, 
 And piously refuse ihe (ai!. 
 Thus conscience freed from e; try clog, 
 fiiahometans eat up (be bo^^. 
 
 You laugh, -'tis well, (he tnle apply'd 
 May make you laugh on 'totlier side. 
 Renounce the world the prtacher cries : 
 We lio — a ninltitnde replies. 
 Whilst one as innocent regards 
 A snueacd frieudly game at cards ; 
 And one, (whatever you may say-; 
 Can see no evil in a piay. 
 Some love a concert, or a race, 
 Ar.d others shooting, «or a cbace ; 
 Revil'dand iov'd,renounc'd and foltowM, 
 Thus, bit by bit, the whole is swallow'd : 
 Each thiiiks his neighbour makes too free, 
 Yet likes a slice as well a« he. 
 With sophistry llieir sauce ihey svTeelen, 
 Till quite from tail to mouth ia> eaten. 
 
 Architectural Pun. On the Statute of 
 George I. being placed on the Top of 
 Blooni'sbury Church. 
 
 THE king of Great Britain was reckon'd 
 before 
 The head of the church by all protestant 
 people ; 
 His Bloomsbury subjects have made him 
 still more, 
 For with them he is now made the head 
 of the steeple. 
 
 Epigram. Tltcmas Bastard, Esq educated 
 at tVykehnm^A School, admitted Fellow of 
 New College, 15iS8, ivrote the/vliowing 
 Epitaph on his Three IViKes. 
 
 THOUGH marriage by mostfol&s be reck- 
 oned a curse. 
 
 Three \vjves did I marry for better or worse; 
 
 The first lor her persju— the next for her 
 pnrse- 
 
 And the third for a warming pan, doctres* 
 and nurse. 
 
 Biblical Curiosities. 
 
 A CALCULATION of the number of 
 
 Books, Chapters, \'erses, Vv'ords, 
 Lc'tlcr.s, &C, in the Oid and New 
 Testament, and tLe Apoerjpha. 
 
 Old Testament. New.- Tbtal. 
 
 Books ' 39— 27— (iS 
 
 Ch.ipters 929— 280— 1,189 
 
 Verses 23.214— 7.959- 31.173 
 
 VVor.ts .592.439—181,253— 773.692 
 i^etters 2.728,100— 838,380— 3.^1iG,4aO 
 
 Apocrypha.. 
 
 Books . , 
 
 C'liaptcra 
 Ver.-iCs . , 
 Words . , 
 
 H 
 183 
 
 eosi 
 
 1.52.lii
 
 6f)S Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 Old Testament. 
 
 The middle book is Proverbs. 
 
 The middle chapter is the 29th of 
 Job. 
 
 Tlie middle verse is in the QOth 
 cbaptet of tlie 2d book of Ciironicles, 
 between the 17th and ISth veises. 
 
 The lon<rest book is tiie Psalms. 
 
 The shortest bouk is Obadinh. 
 
 The loii^jCst chapter is the 119th 
 Fsalm. 
 
 ilie shortest chapter is the I17lh 
 Psalm. 
 
 The lonc^tst verse is the pih verse 
 of the Sill chapter of Esther. 
 
 The shorlest verse is the ':5th verse 
 of the Ist chapter of the 1st book of 
 Chronicles, 
 
 The 21st verse of the 7th chapter 
 of Ezra has all the letters of the al- 
 phabet. 
 
 'J'he ipih chapter of the 2d book 
 of Kinesand lhe37ih chapterof Jsaiah 
 are alike. 
 
 In tlu' book of Esther, which bas 
 30 chapters, neither the word Lo7'd 
 nor (lud is uiintiom d. 
 
 The word C7td occurs in the Old 
 Testament 35,543 times. 
 
 The word diildrcn is mentioned 
 S9 times in the 7th chapter of Nehe- 
 niicdi. 
 
 The word and occurs 78 times ; 
 children 100 times; of 11 6 times; 
 and the 135 times in the 2d chapter 
 of Ezra. 
 
 The word kin^ occurs 33 times in 
 the \'2\h ciiapter of Joshua. 
 
 The word God occurs 32 times in 
 the 1st chapter «if Genesis. 
 
 The word fl7?r/ » ccurs 85 times in 
 the 10th chapter of Genesis. 
 
 P\ew Testament. 
 
 The middle book is the 2d of Thes- 
 salonians. 
 
 The middle chapter is between the 
 13th and I4th of Romans. 
 
 The miildle verse is the 17tb verse 
 •f the 17th chapter of the Acts. 
 
 The longest book is the Acts of the 
 Apostles. 
 
 The shortest book is the 2cl Epistle 
 of John. 
 
 The longest chapter is the 1st chap- 
 ter of Lqke. 
 
 The shortest chapter is the 1st 
 chapter of the 2d Epistle of John. 
 
 The longest verse is tiie 4th verse 
 of the 20th chapter of Revelations. 
 
 The shortest verse is the 35th verse 
 of the nth chapter of Si. John. 
 
 The middle chapter of the Old and 
 New Testament is the 117th Psalm. 
 
 I'he middle verse is the SIh verse 
 of the J 18th Psalm. 
 
 Tiie middle time is the 1 6th verse 
 of the 4tli chapter of tiie 2d book of 
 Chroniclts. 
 
 The word and occurs in the Nevr 
 Testament 10,()84- times. 
 
 Tiie word Jeiiovafi occurs 6,855 
 times. 
 
 The word son is mentioned 78 limci 
 in the 3d chapter of St. Luke. 
 
 Inscription on the Collar of a Young 
 Lady's Lap Dog. 
 
 IS it not strange, that such a thing as this 
 
 -Should steal from blooming Bella balmy 
 
 kisses ? 
 Tl.att'iJch a litile limping ciir should sip, 
 The native nectar oi her luscious lip ? 
 While many a sprightly, many a pensiv* 
 
 swain 
 Mnst sigh whole years for cue dear kiss ia 
 
 vain ? 
 Alas ! what head that woman's heart can 
 
 scan, 
 Who gives fo dogs the bliss great Nature 
 
 meant for man. 
 
 The Life of Sir Isaac Newton, 
 
 ISAAC NEWTON was born on 
 Christmas-dav, at Woolstrope, in 
 rincoluhhire, in the year l642. His 
 father was descended from tlie elder 
 Iiranch of Sir John Newton, Bart, 
 nid though the family had possessed 
 Uie manor of Woolstrope, near 2000 
 years, and settled tliere from W«slby,
 
 Jnteresfing Narratives^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, 8^c. 569 
 
 in the s-.une coisnly, it came originaliy 
 from Newton, in Lancashire. His 
 mother's maiden name was Hannah 
 Ascough, of a reputable ancient fa 
 mily. His father died while Isaar 
 was very yonng; and his inotlier niar- 
 '}'"? i'g'^'n. ''he put him to the free- 
 school at Grantham, where he con- 
 tinned Uiitil his mother thinking hiiB 
 of age to look into, and t^> manage 
 his own affairs, brought him home. 
 Bnt his nenlect of business, and dih- 
 gent application to his books, soon 
 convinced her, ll«at she had mistaken 
 his genius; and, therefore, willingly 
 constnted to his resuming his studies, 
 first at Grantham, and from thence to 
 Tfinify-college, Cambridge ; where 
 he was admitted in I6OO, and took 
 the degree of Bachelor of Arts, n) 
 \66^. He was driven from tl'.e uni- 
 versity by the plague in l6<S5, but 
 still he applied himself closely to his 
 studies in his retirement at Boothby, 
 in Lincolnshire. 
 
 After his return to college, he was 
 elected felloiv of Trinity in 1667 ; 
 and the next year passed master, in 
 the twenty-sixth year of his age, hav- 
 ing given (two years before) the most 
 astonishing proof of his ingenuity and 
 capacity, in a discovery or invention, 
 that not only gave the quadrature ot 
 the hyperbola, by an infinite series, 
 which Nicholas Mercator did also, in 
 l6"58, hit upon; but extended the 
 same, by general forms, to all sorts 
 of curves, even such as are mechani- 
 cal ; to their quadratures, their recti- 
 fications, and their centres of gravity; 
 to the solids formed by tiieir rotations, 
 and (o the superficies of those solids. 
 At, or about the same lime, it is sup- 
 posed, he discovered the art and me- 
 thod of fluxions, or those irifiuitely 
 small quantities, which afterward oc- 
 casioned -K) great a contest between 
 him and Mr. Leibnitz. 
 
 Thc:.e qualifications so ingratiated 
 our young philosopher with Mr John 
 Collins, F. U, S. Lord Brouuckcr, and 
 
 Dr. Barrow, tlie professor of matiie* 
 matics, and raised his character 
 an)ongst the whole University, tiiat 
 upon Dr. Barrow's resignation, in 
 li)()P, Mr. Newton was complimented 
 with his professorship. 
 
 The young professor began a course 
 of optical lectures, in Latin, in the 
 public schools, which lie continued 
 three years : and tiiey were aftc^wards 
 printed, and contained the discc.erHS 
 which he had made with regard to 
 light and colours. In l6"56", he pre- 
 sented the public with an accouni of 
 ti^ese lectures, first by means of the 
 Philosophipal Transactions, published 
 by the Royal Society, in No. 80, on 
 <he Ipfh of Februarv, l6'72, which 
 had like to have drawn him into a 
 controversy. And we find that No. 81 
 of the same Transactions, contains an 
 account of a new cata<iio}!lrical te'es- 
 ope of his own invention; besides 
 s<veral other papers of his relatiiig to 
 this telescope, and his theory of light 
 and colours, were published in the 
 same manner, bitween the years 1672 
 and I67tf. In iCy '2, he also publish- 
 ed Varenius's Geography in Latin, 
 8vo. at Cambridge. And in (he winter 
 i»f 16*76, he found the proposition, 
 that by a centripetal force, recipro- 
 cally, as the square of the distance, a 
 planet must revolve in an ellipsis about 
 the centre of force placed in the lower 
 focus of the ellipsis, and witli a radius 
 drdv.ii to that centre, describes areas 
 pro))ortional to the times. He resum- 
 ed the consideration of this knotty 
 subject in 1683, and added some 
 other propositions concerning tJie mo- 
 tions of tiie heavenly bodies. Aiul in 
 . 08+, he made such progress in astro- 
 nomy, that he acquainted VJr Ed- 
 mund Ha Hey, that he had been able 
 to demonstrate the mot'on of jjlanet^in 
 ellipses; and with radi. drawn to the 
 'I'l placed in the lower focus of ihe 
 llipsis, describe areas proportioned 
 io tlie tinu's ; which proposidon had 
 -ained Keppler much reputation, by 
 4 D
 
 570 Literar]} Curiosities^ Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 puzzling all the mathematicians to this 
 aera oi our Newtonian pkilosophy ; 
 thon^h Mr. Hooke very unjustly fu- 
 deavoured to gain this glory to him- 
 self. 
 
 Dr. Pemberton says, that ns Mr. 
 Newton sat alone in a garden, he fell 
 into a specuhilion on the power of 
 gravity ; tiiat as this power is not 
 found sensibly diminished at the re- 
 niotest distance from the centre of the 
 earth, to which we can rise, neither at 
 the tops of the loftiest buildings, nor 
 even on the summits of the highest 
 mountains, it appeared too reasonable 
 to conclude, that this power must ex- 
 tend much farther than was usually 
 thought : why not as high as the 
 moon? said he to himself : and if so, 
 her motion must be influenced by it : 
 perhaps she is retained in her orbit 
 thereby ; which some years after he 
 found to be true, by using the mea- 
 sure of the earth by Picart : which 
 enabled him to demonstrate what be- 
 fore he only conjectured, that the 
 power of gravity decreases as you 
 recede (rom the centre of the earth. — 
 And the primary planets moving in 
 the orbits, he supposed round the 
 sun, he had the satisfaction to see, 
 that this iiiquiry, which he had un- 
 dertaken out of mere curipsity, could 
 be applied to the greatest purposes. 
 Hereupon he composed several pro- 
 positions relating to the motion of (he 
 primary planets round the sun. But 
 several years elapsed still before he 
 published these Mathematical Prin- 
 ciples of Natural Philosophy, resumed 
 at the request of Dr. Haliey ; and 
 though full of such a variety of pro- 
 found invention, they were composed j 
 by him from scarce any other materi- 
 als, than the few propositions before 
 mentioned, in the space of one year 
 and a Jialf; and published in l6"S7 
 at London, in 4to, under the title of 
 Philosophic; Naturalis Principia Ma- 
 themaliea ; which he corrected and 
 much enlarged in a second edition at 
 
 Cambrid'ie, anno \'J\Q, in 4to also, 
 under the care of Professi r Coats ; 
 and again bv Dr. Henry Pemberton 
 in 17>o, with further improvements. 
 
 But notwithstanding this new sys- 
 tem of natural philosophy was built 
 upon the most sublime geometry, it 
 did not at first meet with all the 
 applause it deserved, and with which 
 it has since been received ; yet this 
 was not owing to any incorrectness or 
 fault in the subject ; but to its pro- 
 foundness, and .the very concise style 
 in which it was written : and the rapi- 
 dity with which the consequences 
 flowed fiom the principles, which left 
 the leader often to sn()ply a long chain 
 to connect them. '1 his made it some 
 time before the world could under- 
 stand if: and the best mathematicians 
 were obliged to study it with care, be- 
 fore they could be masteis of it ; and 
 those of a lower class durst not ven-- 
 ture upon it, until encouraged by the 
 testimonies of the most learned. But 
 at last, when its worth came to be 
 sufficiently known, the approbation, 
 which had been so slowly gained, be- 
 came so universal, that nothing was to 
 be heard but one general echo of ad- 
 miration. Nor was this admiration 
 confined within the British empire. 
 The Marquis de I'Hospital would 
 often compliment his English visitors 
 with this, or some such enquiry : Does 
 Monsieur Newton eat, or drink or 
 sleep like other men? I cannot believe 
 oriierwise than that he is. a genius, or 
 a celestiiil intelligence entirely disen- 
 gaged from matter. 
 
 In \G^6, when in the midst of 
 other great national perplexities. 
 King William HI, resolved to call iti 
 the bad, and to favour his subjects 
 with a new specie, which required the 
 most able persons in the mint, Mr. 
 Newton was aj)pointed warden of the 
 ujint, at the reconmiendation of Mr, 
 iMountague the chancellor of the 
 exchequer, and afterwards earl of 
 Halifax. In which office, he did sudk
 
 Interestimj Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poefrif, S^c. 571 
 
 8is;n«! s rvice in tliat critical jiincriue 
 of time, that his rn.ijs!)' revvaraerl hi-, 
 merit vvith the otiice of master of the 
 mint ill 1{)99» the same year that he 
 wasciiosen one of the nieaibers of the 
 rojai academy of sciences at Paris. 
 He enjoyrd tiie mastership of the 
 mint to his (leath ; and was honoured 
 by the choice of his own university tt) 
 represent them in parliament, in 1701- 
 In 1703, the philosopher was com- 
 pHmented with the presidentsliip of 
 the royal society, in wh'cii chair he 
 continued witiiout interruption C3 
 years. In 170.5, he was knighted by 
 Queen Anne. But he was belter 
 known at court, after the accession of 
 Kinij George 1. lo the throne of these 
 kingdoms. When the excellent Caro- 
 lina, princess of Wales, and after- 
 wards queen consort of Great Britain, 
 deigned frequently to propose such 
 ditiiculties to him, as noue but himself 
 could answer to her satisfaction. And 
 she Was offen pleased to say publicly, 
 that she thought herself happy in 
 living at the same time, and conversing 
 with him. During which access to 
 majesty. Sir Isaac communicated to 
 the princess a treatise he had written 
 on ancient chronology, but never in- 
 tended to make public; with which 
 she was so highly delighted, for iis 
 novelty and ingenuity, that he was 
 obliged to give her highness an ab- 
 stract, which she promised never to 
 part with, and to keep it in her own 
 possession. No doubt, thi.s was her 
 royal intention; but a copy of it stole 
 abroad ; and being carried to France, 
 was translated and published by Abbe 
 Conti, a noble Venetian, under the 
 title of Abrege de Chronolegie de M. 
 de Chevalier Newton, lait per luimeme 
 & traduit sur le Manuscript Aneloi.^, 
 with some observations on it: this was 
 the foundation of a short contest be- 
 tween the pu'alisher and Sir Isaac; 
 and one father Souciet and Dr. Edm. 
 Halley. However, to rescue this 
 abridgment from tlie complaints which 
 
 Sir Isaac had against it. Sir Isaac set 
 about an edition of his ancient chro- 
 nology in English; but he died before 
 it could be got to the press ; nor did 
 it appear in that dress until 172S, in- 
 titled, Tiie Chronology of ancient 
 Kingdoms amended, &c. 
 
 After his death, the pspers that 
 were found in his closet, shewed that 
 his studies had extended to antiquities, 
 history, divinity, chemistry and ma- 
 tliematics. Yet, notwithstanding the 
 constant application of these laborious 
 studies, his public duties and private 
 correspondence, which was very ex- 
 tensive and burthensome, as to the 
 manner and subject.s, upon which it 
 was carried on, this great genius spun 
 out eighty years in a settled and equal 
 state of health: and though he began 
 then to be much grieved with an in- 
 continence of urine, he observed so 
 regular a diet, and took such otiier 
 necessary precautions, that he spent 
 the remaining live years of his life with 
 great intervals of health or ease, ex- 
 cept at certain paroxysms ; when it 
 was thoui^ht he was afflicted with the 
 stone. This obliged him to rely upon 
 Mr. Conduit, who had married Mrs. 
 Barton, his niece, for the discharge 
 of his otiice in the Mint; but other- 
 wise he bore up against those violent 
 shocks of nature, with so much pati- 
 ence and constancy, that he was never 
 heard to complain or repine, though 
 large drops of sweat frequently ran 
 down his face. And upon the least 
 relief, his countenance v.ould retrieve 
 its pleasant smile, and his tongue re- 
 sume its usual chearfidness. Thus be 
 continued by intervals, which deprived 
 of his pleasure in reading and writing 
 several hours, which he had always 
 employed in a i\Ay ; but not of bis 
 senses and understanding, which he 
 retained until the night of the ISth of 
 March 17'26"-7, when at once, as it 
 generally has happened to great ge- 
 niuses, he entirely lost all his faculties 
 and neve! alter recovered them ; aud 
 4d2
 
 572 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events^ 
 
 died on the 2')tli of <he same month, 
 aged 85. He was buried with great 
 fjiicra! pomp on the ieit han^! of the 
 entrance into the choir of Westminster 
 Abbey, where a beautiful nionumenS 
 is erected to his memory- 
 Sir Isaac was of a nsiddle stature, 
 inclined in liis latter days to be f<^it. 
 His countenance was both pleasanl 
 and commanding respect. He never 
 was reduced to tlie necessity of using 
 £pertack■^, and lost but one tooth dur- 
 iui; Ids life. His mide>ty would never 
 permit him to talk (f himself to others; 
 nor ever t.> behave tO as to yive the 
 most malicious ceusurers the least 
 occasion ever to sus|)ecthim of vanity. 
 He was so candid and ati'ctble, that he 
 always put himself upon a level with 
 liis com})iiny. He was tirmly attached 
 to the church of Enijland, but averse 
 to the persecution of non-conformists. 
 He died a bachelor. 
 
 Enigmatical List of Insects, 
 
 AN adverb of shewing, and a word 
 synonimous with practice. 
 
 Two-fourths of the guard of a 
 niisei's treasure, and four sevenths ef 
 a criminal situation. 
 
 One half of what animates man, 
 and one-half of what is a secondary 
 cause of pultiug a period to his exist- 
 ence. 
 
 The offensive act of a ram, two- 
 thirds of a verb to mistake, and the 
 upper part of vi jack. 
 
 Three-sevenths of a town's name in 
 Yorkshire, and a fisherman's device 
 for a livelihood. 
 
 A wooden instrument. 
 
 Six-sevenths of a woman famous 
 for her skill in poisoning in the court 
 of Nero. 
 
 Three-fourths of a liquor, 
 
 A game. 
 
 Five-sevenths of a provider of food 
 and a column. 
 
 Four-fifths of a farrier's instrument, 
 
 A part and covering of a man's 
 death. 
 
 Thret-sixths of a prodigal and a / 
 consonant. 
 
 Thiee-ei^hihs of a horned animal. 
 Half of a physical plant. 
 
 Anecd>7fe. 
 
 A GENTLEMAN, notsoremaik- 
 able for his economy, as his wit and 
 humour, was one day rali^mg the Kite 
 Feler Walters on liis avarice. *' For 
 my part," quoth the genthnian, " I 
 don't know any diflcrence between a 
 shilling and a sixpence; for when one 
 is changed, 'tis gone, and so is the 
 other." " Ah," says Peter, " mi/ old 
 jritnd, you mayn't know the differ- 
 ence between a shilling and sixpence 
 r.orv : but belitie me, you wdl when 
 you are woi ih eighteen pencet" 
 
 Church Attendance accounted for, 
 
 WHEN Archbishop Fenelon was 
 ahnoner to Louis XVL his majesty 
 was astonished one Sunday to find in- 
 stead of the usual crowded congrega- 
 tion, only himself and his attendants, 
 the priest and other officers of the 
 chapel. " What is the meaning of 
 this?" said the king. The prelate 
 answered, " I caused it to be given 
 out, that your majesty did not attend 
 chapel to-day,; in order that yuu may 
 see who came here to warship God, 
 and who to flatter the king." 
 
 The Jolly Ringers. 
 
 OFT has the world been well dcfin'd 
 
 By sayers and by singers ; 
 I call't a belfry, and aiankind 
 
 I call the jolly ringers. 
 Through majors, bobs, and tripple bobs. 
 
 Each emulonsly ranges ; 
 And while each anxious bosom throbs, 
 
 All try to ring the changes. 
 
 These college youths are sent to school, 
 
 And afterwards te college. 
 And thence return by square and rule. 
 
 Well vers'd in worldly linowledge. 
 Is genius leads to cram his maw, 
 
 Each art's close labyrinth ranges :. 
 And on religion, physic, law, 
 
 Completely ring the changes.
 
 tnteresting Narratives^ Enigmas^ Epigrams^ Poetry ^c. blS 
 
 The fortune hunter twears and lies, 
 
 And courts the widow's jointure; j 
 Then with a richer heiress fiies, 
 
 Xor minds to disappoint her. 
 The widow too has her arch whim, 
 
 Nor thinks his conduct strange is ; 
 A titled heir succeeds to him, 
 
 And thus she ring^s the changes. 
 
 The waiter pillages the greek, 
 
 The greek the spendthrift fleeces. 
 The spendthrift makes dad's fortune squeak, 
 
 Dad rackrents and grants leases ; 
 The tenants break, gazette reports. 
 
 Each dlfi'erence arranges ; 
 Till pro and con, through aM (he courts, 
 
 The lawyers ring the changes. 
 
 Thus, like the bells, each fear and hope. 
 
 Hangs wav'ring and suspended, 
 Alt tug away, while some a rope 
 
 Gft more than they intended. 
 In mrrry cadence as they roll; 
 
 We'll rove where reason ranges; 
 Nor shall the bell of sadness loll, 
 
 XUl death shall ring the changes. 
 
 Epitaph in Bathampton Church Yard, 
 near Balh. 
 
 PAIN was my portion. 
 
 Physic was my food ; 
 To groan was my devotion, 
 
 And drugs did me no good : 
 But Christ was my physician, 
 
 Who knew what way was best, 
 To ease me of my pain. 
 
 And set my soul at rest. 
 
 Epigram. 
 
 KOL. Martext, whenever the pulpit could 
 
 grace. 
 As he warp'd every accent quite out of its 
 
 place ; 
 *Stead of " Hebrews the tenth and the 
 
 twelfth," right announcing, 
 <• He Brewn ten and twelve" was his mode 
 
 of pronouncing ! 
 «* HeJ5rcu)*ten and twelve" then repeating 
 
 once more, 
 An old drowsy toper, whose nap was jnst 
 
 o'er, 
 Rnbb'd his eyes, and roar'd out " ten and 
 
 " twelve. Master Vicar? 
 •' Two or three bushels more, and be'd Brew 
 
 <• bumming liquor." 
 
 The Contrast, 
 
 MARIA is a lady smart, 
 
 In muslins dress'd and satins ; 
 
 But Nanny though has won my heart, 
 With her stuff gown and pattean. 
 
 A cap edg'd round with gauze and wire. 
 
 Or feather'd hat JMana decks ; 
 But Nanny, with her plain attire. 
 
 Is lovelier than all her sex. 
 
 Rosiges, powder, scents and patches, 
 Maria spreads to please the sight; 
 
 Lovelier graces my eye catches, 
 In artless Nanny's red and white. 
 
 Pec-ping above Maria's vest, 
 
 Beauties I !=ee without desire; 
 By 'kerchief hid, of Nanny's breast 
 
 A glance will set me all oa fire. 
 
 By slender garments, half display'd, 
 Maria's shape each one may view ; 
 
 Nanny is straight and upright made, 
 That's all she'll let me know or yon, 
 
 Work'd slippers deck Maria's toes. 
 Silk stockings clothe her legs so gay ; 
 
 Nanny's plain shoe and cotton hose 
 Cover much neater limbs than they. 
 
 With laughter is Maria heard. 
 
 With ev'iy man her speech is free; 
 
 Sweeter by far is Nanny's word, 
 When she proclaims her love to me; 
 
 Of wit, often, of style refin'd, 
 
 Maria is the splendid guide, 
 Nanny can boast a calmer mind. 
 
 From envy free, and free from pride. 
 
 Then low my lot, and small my store. 
 With simple Nanny let me live. 
 
 Out kiss from her wiii please me more, 
 Thau all that can Maria give. 
 
 Enigma. 
 
 THERE are two words only hi oar 
 language whereitt the five vowels fol- 
 low in a successive order. Quere^ 
 which be they 1 
 
 Answer. 
 
 IN abstemious the five vowels you'll find. 
 In succe-sive order, as your question eu« 
 
 join'd; 
 Bat as for the other I've not rycoilected, 
 O — stay--'tis/aceij"oM«, which can't be ob- 
 jected. 
 
 Matrimony. 
 
 HOVV happy is the woman's life, 
 Who was never made a wife — 
 Never by a sot neglected, 
 Never by a rake suspected ; 
 Never by a gamester bit, 
 Never scorn'd, ii spoose has wit ; 
 Never teazed with dull advice. 
 Nor aiham'd of one less wise. 
 She alone tastes real joy. 
 Which uotyrafltcan destroy.
 
 574 LHpvarij Curio sit'ies, Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events, 
 
 Animulcuhs. 
 
 THE word anmalctile tienotes sucl 
 a mijiute creatiiix' as is either scarcely, 
 or not at all, to he discerned by tlie 
 naked eye. 'I'lic jijroen coHt.'n^ on tlie 
 top of stagnaiU waters is nothinu btil 
 prodigious mimbers of animalcules, 
 vvjiicli serve for nourislimcnt to seve 
 ra! water-animals. The microscope 
 discovers million* of animalcules in 
 most liquors, as water, wine, vinegar, 
 beer, dew, &c. j^artif ubirly in rain- 
 water, in several mineral waters, and 
 iij inlusions of pepper, bay-bcnies, 
 oats, barley, and wheat. 
 
 Animalcules may be considered a^ 
 visible, invisible, or microscopical 
 The visible, or such as may be dis- 
 cerned by the naked eye, are mites, 
 divers species of insect*, reptiles, and 
 other vermin. The invisible, which 
 are only supposed to exist, are such 
 as escape the power even of the best 
 Biicroscopes. The naked eya take- 
 in from the elephant to the mite; but 
 here commences a new order, reserved 
 only lor the microscope, which com- 
 piehends from the mife, to those 
 twenty-seven millions of times smaller; 
 and this order cannot be yet said to 
 be exhausted, if the microscope is not 
 already arrived at its highest possible 
 degree of perfection. 
 
 The extreme minuteness of these 
 animalcules conceals them from the 
 , naked human eye. This is one of the 
 great wonders of modern philosophy. 
 An object a thousand times too Utile 
 to be able to aflect cur sense would, 
 it might formerly be thought, have 
 bceji secure from our inspection. And 
 it is strictly true, that most of our 
 micruscopical aiiimalcules are so in- 
 conceivably small that thousands may 
 stand on the point of a needle. 
 
 With whatever degree of surprise 
 we consider the huge bulk and pro- 
 djgious strength of the elephant, we 
 shall find our astonishment still greater 
 ii we attentively cxaiviine the minute 
 
 parts of the mite; for the latter has / 
 mrtre limbs than the elephant, each 
 1)1 them furnished with veins and ar- 
 teries, nerves, muicles, tendons, and 
 bones, it has eyes, a mouth, a heart 
 to propel the circulation of the blood, 
 and oigaiis as peifect as in the largest 
 animal. If the extreme minuteness 
 o{ (he-e parts is above our conception, 
 what shrill we say to those various 
 ^pecies of animalcules, to which the 
 mite itself, in size, is as it were an 
 elephant ? 
 
 The Contradiction. 
 " I ASI unable, (jot lier beggar crie?) 
 To stand or sit."~\{ lie sni/s true be lies. 
 
 Aufcdole of Lord R. 
 
 THE late Lord II-: , with many 
 
 good qu;ilities, and even learning and 
 parts, had a strong desire of being 
 thought skilful in physic, and was very 
 expert in bleeding. Lord Chesterfield, 
 who knew his ioible, and on a parti- 
 cular occasion wished to have his vote, 
 rame to him one morning, and, alter 
 havi.ig conversed upon inditj'erent 
 matters, complained of the head-ach, 
 and desired his lordship to feel his 
 pulse. It was found to beat high, 
 and a hint of losing blood was given. 
 " I have no objection, and, as I heard 
 your lordship has a masterly hand, 
 will you favour me with trying your 
 lancet upon mel" — " A-propos," said 
 Lord Chesterfield, after the operation, 
 ** do you go to the house to-day ?" 
 
 Lord R answered, " I did not 
 
 intend to go, not being sufficiently in- 
 formed ol the question which is to be 
 debated; but you who have consi- 
 dered it, ivhich side will you be of?" 
 The earl, having gained his confi- 
 dence, easily directed his judgment: 
 he carried him to the house, and got 
 him to vote as he pleased. He used 
 afterwards to say, that none of his 
 friends had done so much as he, hav- 
 ing literally hkd for the good of his 
 country.
 
 Interesting Narratives^ En iff mas, E.pigrams, Poetr/f, ^'c. 575 
 
 Anecdote. ' 
 
 THE late famt)i!s Artluir INIoore, 
 who was much in lavoiir with the Tor v 
 ministry, in the lalier part of Queen 
 Anne's reign, had a la;ly whw wa;; 
 reckoned a woman of great wit and 
 humour, but in political principles 
 quite opposite to those of her hus- 
 band. Tins same lady coming home 
 one evening, told her husband, she 
 wished him j»y, for sfhe had hoard he 
 was to be made a lord. (I'his was be- 
 fore til'; death of Queen Anne.) "And 
 praj," said he, " what did they say 
 was to be my title?" — "My loid 
 Tairlff" replied she; which was a 
 sneer upon him, for havipg been en- 
 gaged in settling a tail iff of trade, fur 
 which he was thought well skilled. 
 *' And why don't vou, when you hear 
 any one abuse your husband, spit in 
 their face," said he. " No, I thank 
 you," answered the lady, " I do not 
 intend to spit mynelj into a consump- 
 tion." 
 
 Anecdote of Sir Isaac Newton. 
 
 THE late Doctor Stukely, one day 
 by appointment, paid a visit to Sir 
 Isaac Newton. 'The servant said he 
 was in his study. No one was per- 
 mitted to disturb him there; but, as 
 it was near his dinner time, the visitor 
 sat down t« wait for him. In a short 
 time, a boiled chicken under a cover 
 was brought in for dinner. An hour 
 passed, and Sir Isaac did not appear. 
 The doctor then ate the fowl, and 
 covering up the empty dish, desired 
 the servant to get another dressed for 
 his master. Before that was ready, 
 the great man came down. He apo- 
 logized for his delay, and added, 
 *' Give me but leave to take my short 
 dinner, and I shall be at your service. 
 I am fatigued and faint." Saying 
 this, he lifted up llie cover, and with- 
 out emotion, turned about to Stukely 
 with a smile, •' See," he su\s, " uhai 
 we studious people are ! I forgot that 
 I had dined." 
 
 The late Emperor of Gerraavy. 
 
 THIS great prince amused himself 
 daily by mixing with the people, and 
 often ooing int«) colfee-houses incog;, 
 at Paris, where soon after his arrival 
 he met vviih a "person with whom lie 
 played at rhess. The emperor lost 
 his game, and wished to |day another, 
 but the gentleman desired to be ex- 
 cused, saying he must go to the ojiera 
 to see the emperor. *■ What do you 
 expect to see in the emperor (^ays 
 he,) there is nothing worth seeing in 
 him, I can assure you ; he is just like 
 any other man." " No matter, (•^ays 
 the gentleman) I have long had an 
 irresistible curiosity to see him: he is 
 a very great man, and I will r.)t be 
 disappDinted." " And is that really 
 your only motive (said the emper<<r) 
 for going to the opera T' "It really 
 is" replied the gentleman. '* \\'e!l 
 then, if that is the case (says the em- 
 peror) we may as well play another 
 game now, for you see him before 
 you." 
 
 Epitaph. 
 LIFE is a jest— the bard averr'd 
 Whose nice conception seldom err'd. 
 Yet, friend of miue, lel me advise, 
 Be never merry more than w ise. 
 This mean unless thou well discernest, 
 I fear the jest will turn to earnest. 
 
 Query. 
 
 THERE are two youths mentioned 
 in scripture who, in degrees of con- 
 sanguinity, were so remarkably cir- 
 cumstanced, that their father was 
 their grandfather ; their mothers were 
 tlieir sisters : their sisters were their 
 aunts, and they were each other's 
 uncle: Who were they 1 
 
 Explanation. 
 
 MOAB and Bea-ammi, by scripture, 'lit 
 clear, 
 V/ere tiie -sons and the grandsons of Lot; 
 Whose mothers, their sisters and anuls also 
 were, 
 Each was uncle to each j was he not?
 
 576 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Erevts, 
 
 George /. 
 
 PURSUANT to the act of suc- 
 cession, George I. son of Ernesi 
 Augustus, first elector of Brunswick, 
 and the princess Sophia, grand-daugh- 
 Icr to James I. ascended the British 
 throne. His mature age, be being 
 now fifty-four years old, his sagacity 
 and experience, his numerous alli- 
 ances, the general tranquillity of Eu- 
 ropp, all contributed to establish his 
 interests, and to promise him a peace- 
 able and happy reign. 
 
 If George I. was not distinguished 
 for shining talents or heroic virtues, 
 much less can we discern, on a general 
 review of his character, any remark- 
 able deficiency of undeistanding, or 
 propensity to vice. Acceding to the 
 crown of Britain when far advanced 
 in life, he seemed ever to consider 
 himself rather as a German elector 
 than as a king ; and the influence and 
 power of Great Britain were of little 
 estimation in his eves, when directed 
 to any other end than the aggrandize- 
 ment of his native country. With 
 respect to the internal government of 
 his kingdoms, the rectitude and be- 
 revolence of his intentions were al- 
 ways apparent ; but he was from the 
 nature of his situation compelled to 
 throw himself into the hands of a 
 party ; and from the easiness of his 
 disposition, he was too of;eH per- 
 suaded to acquiesce in measures 
 which a more perfect acquaintance 
 with the real state of facts and opin- 
 iot>s would have shown to be as con- 
 trary to his interests as theie is reason 
 to believe they fiequenlly were to his 
 inclination. In the view of Europe 
 at large, he sustained ihe character 
 of a prudent, an able, and a fortu 
 nate prince. 
 
 Notwithstanding the total neglect 
 by the court, and the violence of 
 party rage, that prevailed in this as 
 veil as in the former reign, literature 
 ajid thti arts continued to flourish in 
 
 a very high degree; and we view with 
 siirpiise, amidst scenes of contention 
 and turbulence, a constellation of 
 geniuses shedding a peculiar lustre 
 over this period of British history. 
 
 Scarcely had Lotke, Temple, and 
 Dryden, the departing luminaries of 
 the former age, sunk beneath the west- 
 ern sky, when Addison, Swiff, Pope, 
 Shaftesbury, and Bolingbroke, arose 
 in the east. The writings ftf Addison 
 in particular, merit a most distin- 
 guished Hud honourable mention ; and 
 the advantage which the community 
 has reaped from the wide diffusion of 
 them, no power of calculation can 
 asceitain. In the province of archi- 
 tecture the age was less fortunate. 
 Gibbs and Kent, with unequal steps, 
 and at almost viewless distance, fol- 
 lowed the celebrated Sir Christopher 
 Wren; of whom the magnificent plan 
 for rebuilding the city of London in 
 1666, would have alone sufficed to 
 perpetuate the memory. At this pe- 
 riod also the English school of paint- 
 ing could produce (a Thornhill ex- 
 cepted) no greater artist than Jervas; 
 whose name is immortalized, not by 
 his own performances, but by " the 
 verse eternal which embalms the 
 dead." During the conrse of this 
 reign Sir Isaac Newton terminated 
 his long career of lile: but that 01 his 
 fame and glory will be coeval only 
 with the globe itself; whose laws be 
 has developcil and explained, with an 
 energy and sagacity wholly stupen- 
 dous, and approaching, perhaps, the 
 limits of supernatural intelligence. 
 
 Enigmatical List of Signs of the 
 Zodiac. 
 
 THREE-sevenths of a town in So- 
 mersetshire, and three-fourths of to 
 canker. 
 
 Two-eighths of to be bountiful one- 
 hallt'f to mix, and a vowel. 
 
 Three-sevenths of a fierce animal.
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas^ Epigrams^ Poetry^ 8^c. 577 
 
 Rcmrn-ks on (he JVof ks of some of the 
 tnont eminent Painters, with short 
 
 Anecdotes of tieeir Lives. 
 
 I -^ 
 
 FRANCISCO Albaiii, born at 
 Bolo^isa, in 1578, died in the samt 
 citv, \66(K 
 
 The pictures of Albani are exceed- 
 inuly aj^ri-eable His subjects are, in 
 generiil, of the poetical ki<id. We 
 may be almost snre <if finding in any 
 picture of this master, beautiful figures 
 of women; and cliiMren, who seem 
 as if they had been nourished by I lie 
 graces. This artist, bred in ihe 
 school of Carracci, could nut fail be- 
 ing an agreeable painter; and if he 
 was not always successful in express- 
 ing the stronger passions of the soul, 
 he knew how to tcuch and flatter the 
 senses, by offering to his spectator^ 
 the most pleasing and delightful 
 images; where reigns with decency 
 an agreeable and, if I may be allowed 
 the expression, even a voluptuous 
 pleasure. What contributes to render 
 his works inestimable, is a ptiuil, 
 whose freshness of colour, and delica- 
 cy of touch, is admirable: but he 
 may be reprehended with over-fiuish- 
 ing many of his pictures. 
 
 Annibale Carracci, born at Bologna 
 in 1560, died at Rome in 1609 
 
 The spirit, and genius of painting 
 was almost ready to expire in Italy, 
 wlien this great arti«t appeared, who 
 bad the merit, in conjunction with his 
 cousin Ludovico, and his brother 
 Agostino, to restore it again with 
 fresh vigour. He admired and studied 
 the works of the incomparable Cor- 
 reggio ; nor did he require more to 
 animate his genius, and to hasten him 
 in the pursuit in which he was engag- 
 ed. He joined to this study the 
 knowledge of nature, of which he 
 never lost sight, not even when trans- 
 planted to Home ; where, dazzled 
 witii the beauties of iJie antique, he 
 made fresh and successful tftorls td 
 appropriate them to bis own purposts. 
 
 From hence sprung the considerable 
 quantiiv of fine thinns which he left 
 beiiiiid him : thty have assured to 
 their autiior the title of one of the 
 most learned designers which ever 
 appeared ; but this is not enough to 
 his praise; he ought likewise to be 
 esteemed as one of the greatest com- 
 posers. 
 
 Carlo Cigniai.i, born in Bologna, 
 162s, died at Forii, 1719. 
 
 This excellent piMuter claims, with 
 creat justice, a pre-eminence amongst 
 the disciples of Albani : he distinguish- 
 ed him&eif as much as his cell brated 
 nrd'-ter. In love with his profession, 
 and sensibly penetrated with the many 
 dilticulties attending the art of paint- 
 ing he was less anxious to produce a 
 quantity of pictures, than aitentive 
 that none should go out of his posses- 
 sion ihat were not extremely studied, 
 .,nd capable of supporting tlie great 
 reputation which he had acquired.— 
 Fciv painters have designed so cor- 
 recllv, or enriched iheir compositions 
 more than he has done ; as we see ftw 
 who eitlicr pos^essetl such a f(jrce of 
 colouring, or freedom in the execu- 
 tion of their piciures. The paintings 
 of the ceiliiis ofFoili, wbicii occupied 
 him many years, have acquired hiiu 
 a reputation which will /icver perish. 
 
 Sebasfino Conca, born at Gaetta, 
 ]676, died in the same city, 1764. 
 
 This artist, w ho is yet recent in our 
 remembrance, began to learn the first 
 elements of design under Luca Gior- 
 dano ; but Luca setting out for Spain, 
 tlie young Conca entered into the 
 school of Solimeni, who compleated 
 his studies, by concealing nothing from 
 \ iiim and iiis other scholars, relative 
 to the secrets of his art. Conca soon 
 li-itiniruished himself, and afterwards 
 S'ttled in Rome. He had an easy 
 .111(1 fertile g<nius, to which he joiiied 
 ^real spirit. He left an incredible 
 (lumber of lari;e pictures behind iilm : 
 but we shall be the less surprised, 
 when we consider that his life was 
 4 £
 
 578 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 prolo!)<jed beyond the usual limits of 
 humau nature, and that he was, be- 
 lides, indefatiwiibie. From the ex- 
 amj^Ie of his niiister, he introduced 
 great richness in his pictures; and 
 perl!a[)s he studied more to please 
 from the brilliancy, than from the 
 solidity of his compositions. It even 
 appears, that he was less attentive to 
 the great style of drawing, than to 
 give to his fii;ures attitudes, which 
 were agreeable and V3ri^d. He was, 
 nevertheless, a great paiiittr, and must 
 be regarded as one of the last efforts 
 witich this expiring ar.t has made in 
 Italy. 
 
 Antonio Allegri, commonly called 
 Correggio, born at Correggio, HS*. 
 and there died 1534. 
 
 It happened, that after many ages 
 passed iu ignorance, nature, weary of 
 her bondage, and willing to repair her 
 losses, by rendering to their arts their 
 original lustre, drew thera from that 
 obscurity into which the barbarism of 
 the times had plunged them. There 
 appeared one of those rare and happy 
 geniuses, who guided by instinct alone, 
 and without any assistance from thost 
 who had gone before him, planned 
 out new tracts in science, and became 
 the admiration of his cuteniporaries ; 
 leaving behind him objects worthy 
 the imitation of his successors. Such 
 was Correggio, who, bojn in a village, 
 where, periiaps, no painter had ever 
 exist'Hl, and, at a critical |>eriod, even 
 in the dawn of the arts, diffused a 
 glorious light over painting ; which 
 did, at that time, astonish, and still 
 continue to surprise the spectator. — 
 He at Oiice banished that sterility of 
 taste, which during so lor,g a time had 
 disfigured the art of painting; and tak- 
 ing a sudden and rapid flight, he raised 
 himself iu the suhlime. He saw every 
 thing great : he did not introduce into 
 the ijeueiality of his compositions 
 a multitude of figures; but only such 
 as were useful and employed. He 
 ^dve t-heai iXKiVi motions, he added to 
 
 their out-lines certain forms, which, 
 perhaps, are not always strictly agree- 
 able to the chaste pules of design ; 
 but they have, -however, their tupti- 
 vating allurements. What the poet 
 said may be here applied ; 
 
 He inatch'd a grace beyond the rules of art. 
 
 The agreeable smile, and those amia- 
 ble graces, which ever attended his 
 ideas, and which he diffused with such 
 profusion over his chnracters, my be, 
 perhaps, taxed with being forced and 
 unnatural ; but they are, however, nut 
 lews seducing: an easy and flowing 
 pencil, a union, and harmony <>f 
 colours, peculiar to himself, a perfect 
 intelligence of light and shade, pro- 
 duced by large and broad masses, 
 gave an astonishing relief to all the 
 pictures he has painted. The workij 
 of this divine paiiiter cannot be too 
 njuch studied. The Carracci were 
 sensible of it, and reaped considera- 
 ble advantages from them. Whoever 
 from their example, will reflect on 
 them with attention, may be sure of 
 acquiring the most important princi- 
 ples of tlieir art. 
 
 Leonardo da Vinci, born iu the 
 castle of Vinci, in Tuscany, 1443, died 
 in France iu the arms of Francis I. 
 1518. 
 
 It required a man of as much ge- 
 nius, refinement, and universal know- 
 ledge, as Leonardo da Vinci, to at- 
 tempt to retrieve painting from that 
 languishing state into which it had 
 been piungtd for so many agts. — • 
 Cintabup, who is esteemed as its re- 
 storer, and the other artists who suc- 
 ceeded him laboured without princi- 
 ples. Their works were dry. insipid, 
 and tasteless. Solid and judicious 
 reflections dictated to Leonardo the 
 necessity of a reformation. He there- 
 fore consulted nature; and nature 
 suggested the means. She soon taught 
 iiim, that the beauties with which she 
 IS adorned, are only to be discovered 
 by such as study them, with discern-
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, 8fe. 579 
 
 iiiejit ; that the character o/ heads, as 
 well «s the niotioii of fijijures, are ititi- 
 liile, and depend upon the kiiowledwe 
 of tile iuiiscl*-s, which is inseparable 
 from the study of anatoniv ; that the 
 diftVient passions of the sou! arc to be 
 expressed in the countenance by nieans) 
 of the arrangement of certain features; 
 that it is bv a just distribution of r.o- 
 lours, as well as of lij^ht and shadow, 
 that objects have relief, and appear 
 natural. These reflections Leonardo 
 reduced to rules and principles ; and 
 be was the fitst who faitlifidly observ- 
 ed Iheni. It is not, therefore, to be 
 wondered at, that, absorbed in such 
 profound meditation, he laboured so 
 little with his own hand ; and it is to 
 be observed, that he never painted 
 any tiling that was not extremely fi- 
 nished, and in whicli he did uot aim 
 at perfection. 
 
 Nicholas Poussin, born at Andeli, a 
 city of Norniaudy, lt9h died at 
 Rome 1665. 
 
 When we consider the character of 
 Poussiu ; the taste he had for the an- 
 tique, and for the works of great 
 painters with which Italy abounded, 
 we shall find that the climate of Rome 
 ■was more suitable to his genius than 
 that of his own country ; nor did he 
 hesitate to give it the preference : and 
 if in the course of thiugs he absented 
 himself, for some tinse, it was wilh 
 regret, and with a resolution of re- 
 turning again to that city, so dear to 
 him, and where he enjojed that tran- 
 quillity and satisfaction he so nmch 
 courted. On his first arrival at Rome, 
 his mind Was already furnished with 
 poetical ideas; and his easy and agree- 
 able pencil had already attained liie 
 art of colouring. At tiiat time he 
 had studied the works of Titian. — A;*- 
 sociated with his friend Fianiiiigo, the 
 celebrated sculptor, he studied the 
 antique with great care; and soon 
 after this, his pictures assumed a cha- 
 racter of gravity, which, perhaps, in- 
 troduced itself at the expence of co- 
 
 louring: that, doubthss, gave way to 
 a learned and judicious manner, wlsicli 
 likewise gained in sentiment and ex- 
 pression. The pict tires of Poussin 
 became more interesting than ever, 
 by the choice of his subjects, and a 
 religious observance of the manners 
 ind cu^'toms of the people he intro- 
 duced. We even fancy them present, 
 and we are tempted to interrogate the 
 ditl'erent personages he brings upon 
 the scene. 
 
 Raftaelo da Uibino, born at Urbino 
 1483, died at Rome 1520. 
 
 The difl^erent branriies of pointing 
 in which the celebrited App'!!; s ex- 
 ceiled, and which rendered liis liaiiie 
 so illustrious with antiquity," seem, in 
 these ages, to have been united in the 
 person of the divine Raphael, to justi- 
 fy the ancient writers, and bhow that 
 in the praises which- they gave to the 
 works of this great artist cf Greece, 
 1 hire was not bin:::; exaggerated. They 
 have affirmed, that never |)aii>ter dif- 
 fused more grace in his ct-mpositions, 
 nor elegance in tlie disposing of his 
 figures; that their motions were so 
 just and so natural, that one was at- 
 tempted to be'ieve they were alive; 
 that he treated every subject with 
 iiobleness, and with dignity, and often 
 in a manner so pathetic, that the spec- 
 tators were afiecled with the most 
 singular impressions ; that his pictures 
 engaged and interested, by the truth 
 of their expressions, and the art with 
 which they moved the passions of the 
 soul ; that, in sliort, those rare and 
 perfect productions excited the desire 
 of kings, and became the objects of 
 tlie jealousy of cities which con :d not 
 possess them. Is there any. thing in 
 what has been here said, which is tiot 
 applicable to Raphael, and which does 
 not characterize him in the strongest 
 manner? Let a man of judgment 
 enter into tlie apartments of the Vati- 
 can ; let him examine the sublime pic- 
 tures which decorate those walls; or 
 in the same manner, let hiiu consider 
 4e 2
 
 580 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 attentivfiv the invaluable ciirtoons (f 
 the Acts of the Apostles, which are 
 the f;lory «>f the Riitish iiaJiou, and 
 say if he can rtfr;un from iicknow 
 Jedqin^ that lu' finds (hire assenihltd 
 every sjiecies of beauty anfi perfection 
 which were admired in the ««>rks of 
 the Grecian jiaiiiler. 
 
 Sir Ftter Paul Rubens, born at 
 Col»iri!e, in J 577, died at Antwerp, 
 in 1()40. 
 
 Keithor the favour in which Rnbens 
 lived with |uinces, and other distin- 
 gdislied perbon;i<;es : nor his superior 
 talents forneijociatini), which entitled 
 Iiini to appear in a public ciiaracler at 
 the courts of crowned heads; nor his 
 profound erudition, and the distin- 
 guished employments which were the 
 recompence of his services: will ever 
 do inm so much honour as painting 
 procured him, to the study of which 
 he |)reftrably devoted himself and 
 exercised it with amazinjj success. — 
 Italy, where he made a long abode, 
 furnished him abuiidanlly with the 
 means of instructinji himself. Mantua, 
 w'.iiih received luni first, presented 
 liini with the astonishing' and ingeni 
 ous paintings of Giulo Koniano. It 
 was here his genius was fired. He 
 went afterwards to Venice, uhere he 
 Studied the works of Titian, Tintorelt, 
 and Paulo Veronese. A taste for co- 
 louiing, and for the rich compositions 
 of these masters, here took possession 
 of liim. The studies w hich he made 
 upon the point of perftcting his de- 
 sign, whith was visible by some of 
 his first productions; but the charms 
 of colouring predominated, and when 
 he reluratd to his own country, nature 
 not pnsenting him with the same idea 
 of beauty, and he continuing to con- 
 su't lier, he was le«s attentive to fine 
 forms than to e> press, with all the 
 richness ei colouring, Ids fiiures such 
 as he saw them, frequentlv overcharg- 
 ed, if I m.ty use the expres.sion, lU 
 irop d' embonpoint. He princi|iall\ 
 excelled in the luagnificence vt' bi> 
 
 compositions, and in the knowledge 
 of light and shadow^ which he tediiced 
 to certain rules, and from which h"^ 
 reaped tlie <;reattst ji(iv>»ntage. As 
 an able artist he likewise re» eived ati- 
 sid-rabfe asjisrance from a brilliant 
 and numerous scIh)o1, which he form- 
 ed, ;md without nhieh it would h.ave 
 Keen impossible for him, however la- 
 borious and eNpediti(>us he was, to 
 have executed iheprodigious quanlity 
 of pictures he letf behind him. Of 
 these, though many were not wholly 
 painted by himself, there are none 
 that did not pass through his hands', 
 and receive his last touches; uhich 
 alone require a force of genius, and 
 an assiduity, of which there is scarce 
 any example. 
 
 Tiliano Veccelli, born at Cadora, 
 in 1477. died at Venice, I67^' 
 
 Before the ap])earance of Titian 
 the generality of painters had not at- 
 tained the art of expressing flesh, or 
 making it appear as if animated upon 
 the cloth. Gi«irgione, his cotempo- 
 rary and rival, it is reported, preced- 
 ed him in this discovery ; but by em- 
 ploying colours which were by far too 
 vii^orous, he surpassed the bounds of 
 truth, leaving to Titian tlie merits of 
 discovering tints more agreeable to 
 the beautiful variety of nature, For, 
 when he painted th« portrait of a 
 young and beautiful woman, in which 
 he particularly excelled, we find in 
 his picture a delicacy of taste and an 
 air of nobleness, accompanied with 
 certain adjustments of drapery, which 
 please fr( m their sin)plicity ; but above 
 all his colouring expresses a carnation 
 which dazzles from its clearness and 
 iransparency. \Vi;en he presented the 
 portrait of a man in the prime of life, 
 we neiiher find the same delicacy nor 
 the same tints, but a pencil more vi- 
 goious, and a touch of a very difler- 
 tnt nature: but v. hen we see the tiead 
 of an old man by bin), we there find 
 • hose inequalities and wrinkles oxpres- 
 ed v\ hich an advanced age imprints
 
 Interesting Narratives, Eniffmns, Epigrains^ Voetri/^ ^'C. 58 1 
 
 upon the countenance, but with aij 
 trutli and fifl*>lity of colouring, whi^i. 
 nature lierseif presents to ns. Tin 
 Cornaro family, belon^^ini^ to Jiis i:i;.< < 
 the «{uke of Northumbirlai^d, aftV..ff.. 
 us a noble exanjple of iliis kind. Fii- 
 drapcrrts, liis skies, and liis hiU'israpt, 
 »il have tlieir particular tourh, an<i 
 partake of that tone of coloiiriii; 
 which is natural to each, Uowevn 
 occui»ied Titiaii was in tlie effects of 
 colouring, wf see, when we con>'ifier 
 his admirable producfirns, that his 
 mind was no less tilled uitii qrcat anfl 
 sublime ideas. His .'•t'le of drawing 
 was formed upon the study of nature ; 
 his knowledge in the opposition of 
 lija^ht and shadow was great; and in 
 the local cclours of paintinu no bod% 
 ever exceeded him. He was beloved 
 and esteemed by the great ; and dit(! 
 at an advanced a<re, rewarded witli 
 honours and with riches. 
 
 Sir Anthony V'and'.ke, born at Ant- 
 werp, 1599, died at [..oiidon, l()4.l. 
 'J'he parents of this celebrated artist 
 took care to place him betimes in the 
 school of Rubens; and this judici us 
 painter, fuuluig in him an an)iable 
 temper, joined to a happy genius, 
 iiiade it pleasure to cuh'vate and ex- 
 tend both, by not concealing from )iim 
 any part of that knowledge which he 
 himstlf had attained from Jong ex- 
 perience. Vandyke was yet young 
 when he was capable of execntisii; 
 pictures, which aslomshed, as much 
 from the facility with whicli they were 
 painted, as the genera! knowledge 
 which reigne*! throughout tlie whole. 
 Rubens, at this time, gave liim Ivvo 
 pieces of advice ; the first was, to de- 
 vote himself to portraits, in which he 
 foresaw he would excel ; and the se- 
 cond, to make the tour of Italy, when 
 he would have an opportunity <f e\ 
 tt'uding his >tudies. Vand\k'? look 
 tliis counsel ; ror had he rtason t( 
 repent it. Venice was the first cif\ 
 Jie went to, where he leaped great ad 
 vantage from the works of Titian, aii(i 
 other masters of that school, boon 
 
 :)fter his arrival at Ron)e, he had an 
 opporJunity of exercising his abilities 
 upon the portrait of carditial Btnti- 
 v<>glio, which is justly esieemtd the 
 most perioct if the kind that ewr 
 «-ame from the pencil of this artist. 
 Hut the city of Genoa, where he made 
 a more considerable stay, is the thta- 
 I'Con whidi he appears with great 
 ulory; the I'aibi, J3urazzo, and otiiir 
 palates there, contain many excellent 
 portraits painted in the great histoii- 
 cal st\le. On his return to his own 
 <ountrv he eniiched it with an iunn- 
 merabie quantity of tine pi» ces ; but 
 the advantages he reaped there were 
 not ptopcrtioned to his merits; and 
 as he loved to mai\c a figure, he re- 
 solved to augment his fortune, which 
 he tried by making a tour to England, 
 Charles I. amongst his many princely 
 and amiable qu-ilities, was a passionate 
 lover of the arts, and particularly of 
 painting: nor was Vandjke deceived 
 in his hopes. The king, who knew 
 the abilities of this aitist, received him 
 in the manner he wished. He often 
 employed his pencil, honoured hira 
 frequently by liis visits, and sat by 
 him whilst he painted. The nobility 
 of Charles's court, followed !iis exam- 
 ple, and rivalled each other in their 
 politeness to the king's favourite pain- 
 ter. Vandyke hnbihcd the pri!icipl,e8 
 of his profession at an early period of 
 life; he improved them by a soliditj 
 of judgment, and a lively imagination. 
 His portraits are painted with infinite 
 :irace, and even a sublimity of espres- 
 Mon, with a delicacy and freedom of 
 pencil w hich'no other painter ever at- 
 tained to. His exlienjilies in general, 
 paiticularly his hands, are drawn with 
 "he utmost precision : his attitudes are 
 natural, and suited to the difli'eretit 
 "haractcrs which he painted. His 
 dresses are elegant, his folds simple 
 md rich, and his manner of painting 
 -asy and agreeable: to all which niay 
 be added, his perfect knowledge of 
 the eliccts of ii^ht and shadow.
 
 582 Litfirary Curiosities^ Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events^ 
 
 Journal of a Country Gentleman in 
 ike Days of Queen Elizabeth. 
 
 NO man is secure from niisfor- 
 Uines. I set up foi bciiii; liij^h slu-iift for 
 the county no le>« tlian three times 
 and jet my opponent rairied it against 
 Die every time. But though ni\ 
 country is unwilling to ^rant me the 
 lionour of being high sheriff, they are 
 Jearly enough to load me with labo- 
 rious offices; and now am I elected 
 as a burgess to serve in j;arlianient, 
 Jiotwiihsti^nding alt the endeavours 1 
 have used to get myself excu-ed. 
 This is a hard duty, a very expensive 
 one too, and nothing but danger to 
 be giiined by it; but it is all done by 
 a wicked corruption in the borough 1 
 serve. There are, it seems, three gen- 
 tlemen in ihe neighbourhood of more 
 intere^t than 1; and because they are 
 not sparing in treating the aldermen 
 and mayor with strong drink, tliey 
 always got themselves cleanly off.— 
 The moment there is any discourse of 
 an election, their beer is broached, 
 and the drunken mob are made to 
 consider them as unfit to serve. Thus 
 I must prepare to go to town, although 
 it be sixty miles cff, with a wile and 
 family. 
 
 Monday. Very busy in preparina 
 for our journey to town, wliicli will 
 take us nut above three days upon the 
 Toad, as our horses are good, and we 
 intend to use great expedition. I 
 have settled the order of our jouiney 
 as follows. — My wife to ride behind 
 the foot-boy, and my daughter be- 
 hind myself,. which will be less bur- 
 densome to the horses than if my wife 
 and I rode together, she beuig a little 
 corpulent, which I attiibute to her 
 being fond of good living which I 
 am told by the doctiess of our coun- 
 try is very fattening. As I intend lo 
 cut a figure in town, and to ride into 
 the metropolis with some splendor, 
 we nul^t have ten men in livery to 
 attend us, m hich, tiding but two upon 
 
 a horse, will make a very gallanl ap- 
 pearance, and each of them to have 
 a serge doublet of yellow, adorned 
 with worsted fringe. 
 
 The latter part of the day was 
 spent in taking leave of our neioh- 
 bours; and I had the pleasure of see- 
 ing some of them shed tears at our 
 intended departure. However, all 
 dangers must be faced for the good of 
 our country, though we should never 
 see our fire-side again. 
 
 Tuesday. Upon the road. J\Iy 
 wile and daughter, having taken a 
 toast and tankard in the morning be- 
 fore setting out, in order to keep the 
 wind dfl' iheir stomachs, are, I find, 
 in good spirits, and able to travel two 
 or three miles before breakfast: we 
 have however sent ou the running 
 footman before us, to bespeak a pound 
 of beef steaks a-piece at the house of 
 one of my tenants, who occasionally 
 keeps an inn, and has sometimes four 
 or five customers a week, when in a 
 tun of busiiiess. INly daughter at 
 breakfast complains of the dressing 
 of ihe beef, being very delicate in her 
 eating: but this daintiness I must in 
 some measure ascribe to her mother, 
 who, in spite of all I can allege, 
 prefers onions to garlic in her gravy. 
 
 Wednesday. My daughter having 
 never been from home above four 
 miles before this time, (she being not 
 as yet arrived at her twentieth year) 
 greatly diverts me with her remarks 
 upon all that offers. We are over- 
 taken on the road by a drove of oxen, 
 which are going to be sold in L(jndon, 
 and though 1 used every method to 
 make my servants keep up with them, 
 yet they leave us far behind. My 
 wife complains of her bones aching 
 with the rapidity of our progress. 
 Her pillion broke down: two hours 
 taken by our aruiouier to put it lo 
 rights again. 
 
 Thursday. Having taken a hearty 
 breakfast, we set foiward, knowing 
 I hat we had a lon<; stage of it until diu-
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas^ Epigrams^ Poetry^ ^c. 588 
 
 tier time. Posterity will scarcely l)e-V 
 lieve it, but it isliue, we were not 
 able to get to dinner until it was neai 
 two o'clock ; which is so late an h'tur, 
 that my wife's appetite was quite j 
 spoiled with waitinw : she was jii'-t able I 
 to get down the kg and wing of a 
 goose, with much i)ressir)g. And here 
 J cannot help complainino of our ras 
 callv host, who charged for every 
 article double price. We had but a 
 fat goose, a bacon ham, five pound- 
 of black puddiniiS, and a white pot ; 
 and yet for this trifling fare, the rogue 
 had the conscience to charge us fur 
 eating and strong drink, two shillings 
 and ninepence. 
 
 Friday. In town. We made a 
 goodly show in marching up through 
 Cheapside. Some of the citizen" lett 
 their shops to gaze at us. My daugh- 
 ter in high spirits: she is to be intro- 
 duced to the queen shortly, from 
 whence she is to see the Tower, the 
 Abbey, and, but that she is afraid ol 
 crossing the water, she might take a 
 boat to the play-house. However, 
 one play she must ^ee, because I would 
 do things genteelly. This, with a new 
 gown and fardingale, will, I hope, 
 content her. 
 
 Saturday. At the Parliament 
 House. We sat very late ; it was 
 near one o'clock in the afternoon be- 
 fore we parted; so that upon coming 
 ligme to my lodgings, dinner was quite 
 spoiled. But if a petty constable act- 
 without murmuring, why should 1 1 
 After dinner, sat down to a game oi 
 gleck with a very gentleman-like per- 
 son, a lellow-lodger of our's — luck 
 run hgainst me. 
 
 INIeinoraiidum. Never more t(^ 
 touch a card. — Actual!) lost one shil- 
 ling and four-pence at a single sitting : 
 am apt to suspect ihe sincerity ot my 
 antagonist ; but I am resolved to be a 
 dupe to play no longer. 
 
 Sunday. Ordered the family to 
 be up very early, to prepare tor guiii: 
 to Ihe parish cLuich, lest, if not 
 
 coming in time, we should lo^e our 
 places; which my hostess tells me 
 happens but too often. I do not like 
 litis new-la^hioned London method of 
 cunailing the service. The reading 
 of the Homily took up but an hour 
 and a half, Hvhich is much too short 
 lor inculcating a proper «ense of our 
 .luty. A lady of hii'h disiiivctioa 
 gave great disgust to the whole audi- 
 erure, being actually delected in a 
 whi>| er svhile the service was reading. 
 As I was resolved to be charitable, I 
 put for myself and family three half- 
 pence into the poor's box. This 
 coming to London is extremelv ex- 
 (>ensive, and I seldom go back again, 
 l)ut I find myself at least fifteen pounds 
 the poorer. My wife alone costs me 
 six pounds of the money: she likes 
 London so well, she would stav half 
 the year; but I am resolved to return 
 home as coon as ever the business of 
 the house will permit. 
 
 R.B— R. 
 
 In Biddeford Church-yard, Devon. 
 
 THE wedding-day appointed was. 
 And wedding' clothes provided ; 
 
 But ere that day did cooie, alas 1 
 He sickea'd and he die did. 
 
 Impromptu. 
 
 ON the death of a certain primi- 
 tive physician being inserted in the 
 newspaper, and altera ards contra- 
 dicted by himself, in a very pompons 
 address to the public, in which he as- 
 serts that he is not only alive, but 
 alive also to the complaints and in- 
 firinities of his afflicted fellow crea- 
 tures, and anxiously desirous of ad- 
 ministering the usual relief, derived 
 trom his superior physical knowledge 
 and transcendent abilities. 
 
 They say I'm dead, T say they lie! 
 
 I physics, bieed8 'em, sweats 'em; 
 If alier that my patients dre. 
 
 With al! my iieart, 
 
 I. Lets— EM.
 
 581 LHerary Citnos'itien, Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events, 
 
 Female Courtship. 
 
 TWO or three looks when jonr swain 
 
 wants a kis?, 
 Two or three hoes when he bids yon say 
 
 yes, 
 Two or three smiles when yno utter the no, 
 Two or three (rowns if he offers to go ; 
 Two or three sprechts, like, Ah, go away. 
 Two or three times you luu^t hold bim to 
 
 stay; 
 Two or tiiree laughs when astray for small 
 
 chat, 
 Two or three tears, though yon cm't ttll 
 
 for what ; 
 Two or three letters when vows are begun, 
 Two of three titiarrels hcfiJie yon have done; 
 Two or three meetings to walii here aad 
 
 there, 
 Two or three nights to the court-house re- 
 pair: 
 Two or three dances to make you jocosp, 
 Two or three hours in a corner sit close ; 
 TvTO or three starts when he bids you elope, 
 Two or three glances to intimate hofe; 
 Two or three pauses before ycu are won, 
 Two or three faintings to let him press on ; 
 Two or three sighs when you've wasted 
 
 yonr t> ars, 
 Two or three hems wlien the chaplain ap- 
 pears, 
 Two or three squeezes when the hand's 
 
 given aivwj. 
 Two or three coughs when you come to, 
 
 obey; 
 Two or three courtsies when marriage is 
 
 over. 
 Two or three honeys discovering your lover . 
 Two or three steps towards your home 
 
 run, 
 Two or three kisses, tho' ask'd but for one ; 
 Two or three lasses may have by these 
 
 rhymes, 
 Two or three husbands, tho' hard are the 
 
 times. 
 
 The Laicyer. 
 
 A KNOTTY point, a lawyer had. 
 Which no one e'er rt'solv'd ; 
 
 He try'd the bar and e'en (he bench- 
 They're all in doubts revolv'd. 
 
 At length he recollected well. 
 He had one friend behind — 
 
 Old Sata7i had not yet been ask'd. 
 Though alwaijs in his mind. 
 
 Away the lawyer posts in haste 
 VVilh briefs unto the devil, 
 
 Who soon resolved this knotty point, 
 Ant] a(14ed very civil — 
 
 " Since you and I pursue one trade, 
 
 " O let us never part" — 
 " agreed, egad," the lawyer cry'd, 
 
 " I'll slay with all my heart!" 
 
 From that time forth the lawyer slay'd, 
 And practis'd mighty well^ 
 
 If it be true, as it is said, 
 
 That roijues thrive best in 
 
 The Head of the Home. 
 
 DRtJS'LLA tad oft by her husband beea 
 
 teld, 
 rhe neighbours all knew her a termagant 
 
 scold ; 
 For himself, he was seldom permitted io 
 
 speak, 
 And was cruelly hen-peck'd, like poor 
 
 Jerry Sneak, 
 At length, in revenge, she cornuted her 
 
 spouse, 
 To let the world know — he was head of th« 
 
 house. 
 
 Tlie Monkies. 
 
 WHOE'ER with curious eye hath rang'd 
 
 Thro' Ovid's Tales, hath seen, 
 HoM Jove, incensed, to monkies chang'd 
 
 A tribe of worthiess men. 
 
 Repentant soon th' offending race, 
 
 Intreat the iiijur'd povv'r, 
 To give them back the human face. 
 
 And reason's aid restore. 
 
 Jove, soothd at length, his ear inGlin'd, 
 And granted half their prayer; 
 
 But t'other half, he bid the wind 
 i'isperse in empty air. 
 
 Scarce had the tbund'rer given the nod. 
 
 That shook the vaulted skies. 
 With haughtier air, the creatures strode^ 
 
 And stretch'd their dwindled size. 
 
 The hair in curls luxuriant now. 
 
 Around their temples spread ; 
 The tail that once did hang below. 
 
 Now dangled from the head. 
 
 I'he head remains unchanged within. 
 
 Nor alier'd much the lace; 
 [t still retains itd native grin, 
 
 And ail its old grimace. 
 
 Thus, half transform'd, and half (he same, 
 Jove bade tliem lake their place, 
 
 (Restoring t htm their ancient claim) 
 Amoug the human race. 
 
 Man, with contempt the brute survey'd. 
 
 Nor would a name bestow ; 
 But woinau lik'd the motley breed, 
 
 And cali'd the thing a — beau. 
 
 J
 
 Trtteresthq Nnrrntives^ Enigmas, Epigramfi, Poeirji, 8^'c. 585 
 
 Authentic Memoirs of Mr. James 
 Quin, the celebrated Comedian. 
 
 MR. James Quin w;>s born iti the 
 parish of St. Paul, Covent Garden, 
 LonHo*!, iij the year l(\Q3. Various 
 are the reports of his {i:m]y. Sojue 
 have averred, that bis father was an 
 American, Hud that JdOies u'ns the il- 
 lesiiiniate issue of a criminal corrts- 
 poiideiice, whicti his fither kept Hj 
 in Ireland, uuoii liis reiurn from the 
 western liemisphere, and tlial on th's 
 account he was deprived of his patri- 
 monial expectations. This imaj^iniry 
 liiieaije was never allowed by Quii: 
 himself: on the conlrarv, he always 
 asserted that liis father was an Et.i^lish 
 gentleman, who some years after his 
 son's birth, settled in Ireland, and wi's 
 possessed of a small fortune, which his 
 natural generosity and beniticence 
 greatly incumbered. James's educa- 
 tion was such as suited the station 
 which seemed to be allotted for bin), 
 iiiat of a gentleman : aficr having i;oue 
 through the necessary prelude ol 
 grammar school learning, he was sent 
 to the university of Dublin, where lie 
 remamed until he was near twenty 
 years of age. 
 His father destined iiiin for the bar; 
 
 ^nd at this period he came over to 
 England to pursue his studies in ju- 
 risprudence. To this cr.d he took 
 chambers in the Temple, and for 
 sometime studied Coke upon Littleton 
 wiflj the unial success of young Temp- 
 lars, who consider their situation, so 
 particularly adapted fur pleasure, as 
 no way compatible with so dry and 
 
 -tedious an application. A life of 
 gaiety and dissipation took place, and 
 he found amuch stronger disposition 
 
 .to read Shakspeare than the. Statutes 
 at large. 
 
 About this time liis father died, 
 when he found his patrimony so ver\ 
 small, that there was fio p;»ssil)ilily ot 
 
 •his supporting himself uijon it ; and 
 
 .this induced hiiu to begin seriously to 
 
 think of availing himself of those ta* 
 lents which nature Imd bestowed npoa 
 him, and repair by his own merit 
 the eifects of his ff^iher's generosity 
 and too liberal hospitality. His good 
 sense soon point'd out to bin), that 
 as he had made but a very small 
 prncreaii in the study of the law, so 
 he could not expect to renp the fruits 
 jf his present pursuit but at a very 
 distant period ; a yoinig counsellor of 
 the i^reatf'st merit has many obstacles 
 t'> surmount before he obtains an v con- 
 siderable practice ; chance and interest 
 aie great auxiliaries to his success, as 
 many a veteran barrister has much 
 reason to complain. Resides, his finan- 
 ces were so circumscribed, that there 
 was scarce a practicability of his ac- 
 complishing himself in this profession 
 v/ithout sonic temporary support. 
 
 These reasons soon induced him 
 to quit his present pursuit, and there 
 appeared to him no where so fair a 
 prospect as the stage. He had many 
 requisites to form a good actor: an 
 expressive countenance ; a marking 
 eye ; a clear voice, full and melodi- 
 ous ; an extensive memory, founded 
 upon a long application to our best 
 cia^sic authors; an enthusiastic admi- 
 ration of Shakspeare; a happy and 
 articiilate pronunciation ; and a ma- 
 jestic ligure. He had for some time 
 associated with most of the capital 
 actors of this period ; he was frequent- 
 ly in company with Booth and Wilks, 
 and formed a very strict intimacy with 
 R.yan. It was to the last of these 
 fliat he opened his mind with respect 
 to coming upon the stage. Rvanwas 
 cha,rmed to iind his friend so sincerely 
 approve of his plan of life, as to be 
 desrrous <if adopting it; and he intro- 
 duced him to lh,e managers of the 
 
 rheatre-lloyal in Drury-Lane, who 
 -Mgaged him ill Air^ust 1717, to ap- 
 j)oar the succeeding vvii'.t. r. 
 
 Mr. Quin made his first appearance 
 at Drury-l.ine, in the year J7 1 S. At 
 
 hat tiiiie of day, seniority of date was 
 4 F
 
 586 Literary Cariosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 considered with as much jealousy in 
 the green-room as in the army or nav> : 
 and an actor tiiat sliould have at once 
 rushed upon the town, with all the 
 powers of a Betterton or a Booth, in 
 a capital character, would have been 
 looked upon hy his competitors for 
 fiune as little heifer than i\n nsurper 
 of talents and applause. Besides the 
 manager considered acting as a mere 
 mechanical acquisition, that notliing 
 hut time could procure ; and there- 
 foie, every one in his company was 
 to seive his apprenticeship before he 
 attempted being even a journeyman 
 actor, l^his accounts for Quin's remain- 
 ing for so long a time the mere scene 
 drudge, the faggot of the drama, lie, 
 at length, however, performed some 
 capital parts, and his name made its 
 appearance in the bills, (though not 
 in capitals) annexed to Banqno in 
 Macbeth, and the Lieutenant of tiie 
 Tower in Richard the Third. 
 
 It was not till the year 17?0, that 
 he had an opportunity of displaying 
 his great theatrical powers. Upon 
 the revival of the Merry Wives of 
 Windsor, at Lhicolu's-Imi-Fields, of 
 which the late Mr. Rich was then 
 manager, there was no one in the 
 whole company who would undertake 
 the part of Falslaff; Rich was there- 
 fore inclined to give up all thoBghts 
 of representing it, when Quin hap- 
 pening to come in his way, said, if 
 he pleased, he would attempt it.— 
 " Hem !" said Rich, taking a pinch of 
 innff — " You attempt Falstaft! — why 
 (hem !) you might as well think of 
 acting Cato after Booth. The charac- 
 ter of Falstaft*, young man, is quite ano- 
 ther character from what you think :" 
 (taking another pinch of snuff ) " it is 
 not a little snivelling part that that — 
 in short that any one can do. — There 
 is i»ot a man among you that has any 
 idea of the part but myself. — It is 
 <Kuite out of your walk. — No, never 
 think of Falstaft— it is quite — quite 
 •ot of your walk, indeed, young man." 
 
 This was the reception bis first tftbrt 
 of stepping out of the faggot-walk 
 met with, and for some days he laid 
 aside all thoughts of ever doing Fal- 
 staft", or indeed speaking upon the 
 stage, except it were to deliver a 
 message. Ryan, who at that time 
 had the ear and confidence of Rich, 
 having heard Quin, long before he 
 thought of coming on the stage, re- 
 peat some passages in the character of 
 Falstaft", prevailed upon the manager 
 to let Quin rehearse them before him; 
 which he accordingly did, but not 
 much to his master's satisfaction.' — ■ 
 However, as the case was desperate, 
 and either the Merry Wives of Wind- 
 sor nmst have been laid aside, or 
 Quin })erform Falstaft"; this alterna- 
 tive, at length, prevailed upon Ric|i 
 to admit James into this part. 
 
 The first night of his appearance in 
 this character, he surprised and asto- 
 nished the audience : no actor before 
 ever entered into the spirit of the au- 
 thor, and it seemed as if Shakspeare 
 had by intuition drawn the knight so 
 long before for Quin only to represent. 
 The just applause he met with upon 
 this occasion is incredible : continued 
 clappings and peals of laughter, in 
 some measure interrupted the repre- 
 sentation ; though it was impossible 
 that any regularity whatever could 
 have more increased the mirth, or 
 excited the approbation of the au- 
 ence. 
 
 When Quin was first engaged at 
 Drury-lane, he succeeded tlte elder 
 Mills in all the capital paits of tragedy; 
 and Delane supplied his place at Lin- 
 coln's-Inn-Fields, after having per- 
 formed for some time with tolerable 
 success at Goodman's-Fields. But it 
 was upon Booth's quitting the stage, 
 on account of his illness, that Quin 
 shone forth in all bis splendor ; and 
 ytt he had the ditfidence upon the 
 first night of his appearing in Cato, to 
 insert in the bills, that the part ofCai0 
 would he «nly aitemped by Mr. Quin.
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas^ Epigrams, Poetry^ ^c. 5S7 
 
 Ttie modesty of this invitation pro- 
 fiured a full house, and a favouralvit 
 audience, but the actor's own ptcu! ai 
 merit eiFected n>ore. When lie cnn\f 
 to that part of the play where liis 
 dead son is brought in upon the bier, 
 Qnin in speaking these words, 
 
 *' Thanks to the Gods !— my boy has done 
 " his duty," 
 
 SO affected tl>e whole house, that the\ 
 cried out with a confiinipd acclama- 
 tion. Booth outdone! Booth outdone! 
 
 Yet this was not the sununit of lus 
 applause ; for when he rept^ted the 
 famous soliloquy, he was euchored !<> 
 that degree, that, thoujjh it was suh- 
 iiiitting to an impropriety, he indidged 
 the audience with its repetition. 
 
 We now approach that period, 
 U'lieii Mr. Qnin's loss to the stage was 
 in n»ai)\ respects, irreparable. At the 
 end of the winter of the year 1748, 
 Qiiin having taken umbrage at Rich's 
 behaviour, retired in a tit of spleen 
 and resentment to Bath, notwithstand- 
 ing his being under engagements to 
 that manager. Though Rich ought 
 to have known that Quin never put 
 up with any insult, and though he loo 
 late repented of what he had doue, 
 yet he thought by treating him with 
 silent contempt, to make him sub'uit 
 to iiis own terms. On the other hand, 
 Quin, whose generous heart began 
 now to relent having used his old ac- 
 quaintance so cavalierly, resolved to 
 sacrifice his resentment to his friend- 
 ship, and wrote early the next season 
 a laconic epistle to Rich in these 
 words : 
 
 " I am at Bath. Qm/m." 
 
 Rich thought this by no means a suf- 
 ticieut apology for his behaviour, and 
 returned an answer, in almost as la- 
 conic, though not quite so civil a 
 manner. 
 
 ♦* Stay there, and be danmed. Rich." 
 Tbis reply «ost the public one of the 
 
 greatest ornaments of the stage ; for 
 as he and Mr. Ganick did not agree 
 very well together, whilst they con- 
 tinued rival actors, he could not 
 brook submitting to his competitor 
 in dramatic fame ; and as he now took 
 a firm resolution <d never engaging 
 with "so insolent a blockhead !" as 
 he stiled Rich for the answer, there 
 uas no theatrical d©or opened for him, 
 without he had turned opera singer. 
 He nevertheless came from Balli in 
 ;lie year 1749, to pi^iy the part of 
 Othello, at CovOnt-garden theatre, 
 for tiie benelit of the unhaj)py suii'er- 
 rtrs by the fire in Cnrnhili, which hap- 
 pened on the 25th of March, in the 
 year 174S: and he afterwards con- 
 tinued many successive \ears to Lon- 
 don, to perform the character of Sir 
 John Falstafl^", for his old and trusty 
 friend Ryan; but in the year 1754, 
 having lost two of his front teeth, h« 
 was compelled to decline the task, 
 and wrote a comic epistk to Ryan 
 upon this occasion. 
 
 " My dear Friend, 
 " There is no person on earth, 
 whom I would soonerserve than Ryan 
 —but, by God, I will whistle falstaff 
 for no man." 
 
 Mr. Quin had, during the course of 
 his acting, from his judgment in the 
 English language, and the knowledge 
 of the history of Great Britam, cor- 
 rected many mistakes which our im- 
 mortal bard, Sliakspeare had by 
 oversight, or the vohilileness of his 
 genius, suffered to creep into his 
 works; he also changed many obso- 
 lete phrases in his favorite poet, and 
 restored the proper pronunciation of 
 various words to the stasje, from 
 whence it had been long banisked. 
 l^h.?se talents, joined to his merit as 
 an actor, recummeiided hiiu to the 
 observation Of his lat'? roya! highness 
 the prince of \Vaie?, fathei to Ins pre- 
 sent majesty, who appointed turn to 
 instruct his chiiureu iu the true pio« 
 4F2
 
 5S8. Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 nuiicii tion of (hrii' nioUier tongue, t 
 Id order to acconiulisli ti>is tlie niore 
 L'tFeclually, it was necessary tlie>' 
 should iiccnstosn llif iivielves to iht 
 leaiimg of Miltun, and son>e of our 
 bt'st tiraiiiatio pottb; Jiti:? natiic.iiiN 
 crested in (liiu! a desia^ l<« ptrfoiut 
 the parts they rtht-asstd ; ai <! liis iaie 
 royai hiphtiess, whv> ua.s a tti.d't'r aod 
 indulgent father, sea«iil} "^ratdied tkcir 
 inclination. Mr. Quin perfected !)is 
 joyA\ pupils in their parts, aj)d his 
 present nii.jesly^ with Lis brothers and 
 sisters, represtiitoii si ver'il pia^s under 
 Lis tuition at Lelcesier iiju^e. 
 
 Noihing «:ouUi sai pass liie joy iu" 
 felt, when h*; tvay from tiine fo time 
 infoinicd of the "iauoMs -.aA jjrrtciou;, 
 dispojitiou of his rov.-fi udAX coiwem- 
 plating with pleasure, th«' f<.l:rity ot 
 the jialioH ni.der so ;;OOii and jusf a 
 prince; and upon bein;: i»ifo'tned uiJi. 
 what elegaiiLc aiid noble fjroprieiy hiS 
 niajesty delivered hi? first gracious 
 speech ficjii! tlie thri>u«?i he criod f iif ',n 
 a kind of e: tacy — •' Ay — I kujifdu Viie 
 boy to speak!" — Nor u\A his maje!.tv 
 forget his old luior, though so rc- 
 ijiole fioni court : and it is posi:ivt % 
 averred, tluit soon i;fter i)is accfsbion 
 to the throne, he tjave orders, without 
 any application being made to him, 
 that a genteel pension should be paid 
 Mr, Quin dujiiij* Lis life. 
 
 It is true, that Mr. Quin was r.ot 
 in iibbolute need of t!;is royal benefac- 
 tion ; ii^^Y, upon quitting ti»e stage, he 
 thought it was prudent to make some 
 proviiipn for the remainder of his 
 days, and as he was never married, 
 and had none but distant relations, 
 be resolved to sink half of his small 
 fortune, in order to procure an easy 
 
 competence. The riuke of B- , 
 
 who always professed a great regard 
 for hini, heariu;^ ot his design, sent 
 for hiu), and very generously told liiiu 
 that he would grant hiui an annuity fi.r 
 bis life, upon ninth better terms ihan 
 any he could procure from persons 
 7»ho made a profession of grunting 
 
 r 
 
 annuities; and so in reality ho did, for 
 Mr. Quin obtained two hmuired 
 pouiids a year for two Ihousuui 
 po;iihis. Willi this provision then, and 
 iiboiit tu(. th' nsand more he had 
 '!) the funds, he retiied to Rath, 
 a place h^ h ul aKvays in his eye 
 for a rttrfat, as the in.inner of living, 
 aiid the comtrany that associated 
 (here, were so entirely consonaiit to 
 his pinu of lilt' ; he accordingly hired 
 a liouse there, and had it titttd up iii 
 a decent, ni-t elegant iiianner. 
 
 We may now suppose Mr. Quin at 
 Bath ; but before we fix him there 
 lor good, we must r-.-late ati adventure 
 ilirt' hupptened at the Bedford cofl'ce- 
 house iiij.iut (his tinie. Th, Cibber, 
 .<hose irii;)< rlinence constantly kfpt 
 i.»ai:e with his vanity, liavinic taken 
 something arni^s that Quin had said 
 concerning hss actir.g, came one night 
 strntting inio the coifee-house, and 
 |>avnig walked up to the fire-place, 
 iic Said, '■ He was come to call that 
 capon-laiiied rase:.! to au account for 
 l^l-.in,^ liberties with his character." 
 Soinebocly teal huu he bad passed by 
 Quill, wlio was siding at the other 
 end of the room in the window.— 
 " Ay, so I have sure enough," says 
 he, " but I see he is busy talking to 
 Rich, and I won't disturb them now, 
 I'll take another opportunity," — 
 " But," continued his informer, find- 
 ing ihe biickwardnces of Gibber, and 
 willing to have some spoit, " be sets 
 off for Bath to-moi row, and may not, 
 perhaps, be in town again this twelve- 
 month." — " Is that the case," said 
 Gibber, (somewhat nettled at finding 
 •lis courage was suspected) " then 
 I'll e'en ciiastise him now.''i-^Upon 
 this he goes up to Quin, and calls out 
 aloud, " You — Mr. Quin, I think you 
 call yourself, I insist upon satisfaeiiou 
 for the aflVont you gave me yesterday 
 — damme." — " If you have a mind to 
 l>e flogged," (replied Quin) " I 11 do 
 it for you with all my heart, d-mn me." 
 " Draw, Sir," resumed Gibber, " or
 
 Interestituf Narratives^ Enigmas^ Epigrams, Poetry^ Sjc. 58§ 
 
 I'il be through your guts thii instunt."] 
 •* This" {'••A\i\ Quid) " is an improper 
 place to rehe-irsc Lord Foppingtou in ; 
 but if you'll go under tiit? Piazza, I 
 iivrty, perhaps, make you put up your 
 SAvord faster than yo-a drew it." — 
 Cibber now went ont ; Quin follnwed, 
 when iliey iiiiiuediately drew — Cibber 
 parried aud retreated as far «s th.e 
 ^;K(leu rails, wheu Quia, tired wi!ii 
 triliing so lonji, made a lunge, iu do- 
 ing wnich lie tumbled over a stone: 
 Ci!>ber taking t!ie advantage of the 
 aiicideiit, made a thrust at luii), slight- 
 ly ttDunded ium in (lie foielie.id, and 
 ran oft full speed towards the church, 
 as if for sanctuary. 
 
 From the time that Quin retired 
 from the stage, a good harmony sub- 
 sisted, and a regular correspondence 
 was ciivried on between Mr. Garrick 
 and iiiu!; and when he paid a visit to 
 his friends in the metropolis once a 
 year, as he generally did in autumn, 
 he as constantly passed a week or two 
 at Mr. Garrick's villa at Hampton. 
 His last excursion thither in the sum- 
 mer of 1765, Wiis productive of the 
 most agreeable sallies of wit and mer- 
 riment. Mr. Garrick's travels fur- 
 ijished such new and entertaining to- 
 pics ofdiscour-e, and Mr. Quin's re- 
 marks such unexpected strokes of 
 fancy, as enlivened the conversation 
 to a degree that is almost incredible. 
 
 During the stay he made at Hamp- 
 ton, he had an eruption on his hand, 
 which the faculty were of opinion 
 would turn to a mortification; and 
 this intimation greatly damped hi? 
 spirits, as the thought of losing a liinb 
 appeared to him more terrible than 
 death itself; he therefore re:.oi.Ld, 
 let what might be the consequence, 
 not to suffer an amputation. Whether 
 this dreadful perspective so violently 
 affected his spirits as to throw him 
 into a hypochondria, or whetiier the 
 natural bad habit of his body brought 
 on a fever, this much is certain, that 
 one of the malignant kind succeeded ; 
 
 and when he was out of all danger 
 with respect to his hand, he was ear- 
 ned off by this fatal disorder. 
 
 During his ilhjcss he had taken such 
 Lirge quantities iff bark, as to occasion 
 an iijressant drought, which nolhing 
 couM asswuge; aud being williiit; to 
 live as long as he could without pain, 
 he di^contjiiued taking any medicines 
 for upwards of a week before his death 
 and during this period he was in very 
 go«jd spirits. The day before he <iied 
 ho drank a bottle of claret, and being 
 sensible of his apj)roachiHg end, he 
 >iaid, *' He could wish that the last 
 tragic scene was over, though he was 
 in hopes he should be able to go 
 through it with becoming dignity." 
 He was not mistaken, and departed 
 this life on Tuesday the 21st of 
 January, 1766, about four o'clock in 
 the morning, in the seventy-third year 
 of his; ase. 
 
 Enigmatical List of Authors, 
 
 IRON purified. 
 
 The bead of a convent. 
 
 Learn perfectly and be sorrmvful, 
 
 A city in England. 
 
 A town in Kent, 
 
 A place of worship and part of a 
 mountain. 
 
 Mean and part of a definitive article, 
 
 A precious metal, and a worker in 
 the same. 
 
 Four-sevenths of an officerof a coun- 
 ty, and part of a poem written by.Mr, 
 Pope. 
 
 A tremulous motion and a weapon. 
 
 Motionless, the termination of an 
 jctivfl participle, and a colleciton of 
 ships, 
 
 ialf of an interjection that exprej* 
 siic. wonder, and three-fourlhs of a 
 volatile substance. 
 
 The centre, and twenty hundred 
 weiiiht. 
 
 Fart of a beautiful flower, and the 
 properly of no itcrson. 
 
 What the Jews are forbidden to 
 eat by the law of Moses.
 
 590 Literari/ Curiosities, Epitaphs , Wonderful Events, 
 
 George II, 
 
 THE" character of this monarch it 
 is not easy either lo mistake or to 
 misrepresent. Ei)dowc<'l liy nature 
 with an uiulerstaiidino by no mpan> 
 comprehensive, he had taken luile 
 pains to inii)r(. ve and expand his on 
 ginal powers by intellectual cultiva- 
 tion. Equally a stranger to learDing 
 end the arts, he saw the rapid increase 
 of both under his reign, without con- 
 tributing:; in the remotest degiee to ac- 
 celerate that progression by any mode 
 of encoiirageincnt, or even bc-fowiii:', 
 probably, a single thought ou the 
 means of their advancement. In- 
 heriting all the political prejudices of 
 his father, he was never ai)le to ex- 
 lend his views beyond the adjustment 
 of the Germanic balance of power; 
 and resting with unsuspicious satisfac- 
 tion in that system into which he had 
 been early initialed, he never rose to 
 the conception of that simple, digni- 
 fied, and impartial conduct, which it 
 is equally the honour and interest of 
 Great Britain to maintain in all the 
 complicated contests of the continen- 
 tal states. 
 
 Ill the internal government of his 
 kingdoms, George II. appears to 
 much greater advantage than in the 
 contemplation of his system of foreign 
 politics. The general principles of 
 his administiation, both civil and re- 
 ligious, were liberal and just. Those 
 penal statutes which form the disgrnce 
 of our judicial code, were in his reign 
 meliorated and virtually suspended, 
 by the superior mildness and equity 
 of the executive power; and it was a 
 well known and memorable decla- 
 ration of this benificeiit monarch, 
 " that during liis reign there should 
 be no persecution for conscience sake." 
 Though subject to frequent sallies of 
 passion, they were transient, and 
 marked by no serious effects. On 
 various occasions he had given signal 
 (demonstrations of personal bravery; 
 
 nor did the general tenour of his con- 
 duct exhibit proof> less strikinji of his 
 rectitude and iniegnty: and if he can- 
 not be ranked among the greatest, hti 
 i-- at least entitled to be tidssed with 
 the most respectable princes of the 
 age in whieh he lived ; and his me- 
 niory is deservedly held in national 
 esteem and veneration. 
 
 Tke general sta'c of literature and 
 the arts during his reign rei eived a 
 shadow of protection and encourage- 
 ment in the countenance a'vtn by 
 queen Caroline (a pn cess of an ex- 
 cellent understanding and much li- 
 berality of 9Mitiinent) to several 
 learned men with whum she b>ved to 
 converse. The prime of VValei also, 
 at a "subsequent period, showed a dis- 
 position though lestiaiped in the abi- 
 lity, to become a munificent patron 
 of literature. But to whatever de- 
 gree of peifection science, lijerature, 
 and the arts, arose rfuiinsi even its last 
 splendid and memorable period, the 
 sole and exclusive honour of patron- 
 age appertains, not to the court, but 
 to the taste, discernment, and gene^ 
 rosity of the nation. 
 
 Epitaph Makers. 
 
 SOME years since, a Mr. Dickson, 
 who was provost of Dundee, in Scot- 
 land, died, and by will left the sum of 
 one guinea to a person to compose aa 
 epitaph upon him ; which sum he di- 
 rected the three executors to pay. 
 The executors, thinking to defraud 
 the poet, agreed to meet and share 
 the guinea among them, each contri- 
 buting a line to the epitaph, which 
 run as fallows: . 
 
 Ist, Here lies Dickson, provost of Duodee: 
 '^d. Here lies Dicttsou, here lies he. 
 
 The third was put to it for a long 
 time, but unwilling to lose his share 
 of the guinea, at length vociferou&jy 
 exclaimed, 
 
 Halielu^b^ IralUlDjee,
 
 Inferesthff Narratives^ Enigmas^ Fpigramft, Poetry, %c. 591 
 
 The fi'ager. 
 
 A BUCK (ow'rd Epsom took his way— 
 In sammer-time, as authors say; 
 But not far gone, a friend he nvets, 
 Who thus his Buckship kindly greets: 
 •' To th' races do yon mean to go? 
 " If juch your plan, I'd have yon know 
 " That you may now your la hour save, "^ 
 " By tnrning back— nay don't look grave, J- 
 •' For room or bed you cannot have." j 
 
 At this the other looks full wise. 
 And, his chin stroking, thus replies — 
 *« I care not— and I'll bet a crown 
 *' That the best inn of all the town 
 " Shall lodge myself, and eke my beast — 
 « i>i| e'jjQ on dainties cheaply feast." 
 
 " Done — done (cries t'other) if it please yon 
 " To lose your money, I'll sooh ease you." 
 
 Arrived at Epsom, Dick of course. 
 Seeks quarters for himself, and horse; 
 In the inn-yard be stoutly calls, 
 And thui, with voice of Stentor, bawls— 
 **Here! — ostler! — give my horse some 
 
 drink" — 
 <• Why, Sir, yon must be blind I think— 
 " Yon see, we've not a jot of room — 
 " You must find ont another groom." 
 
 But, on a sudden, it appears 
 
 A deafness seiz'd our hero's ears ; 
 
 " Then give him (he replies) some bay, 
 
 ** For yon know best, I dare to say; 
 
 " All's one to me I do assure you" — 
 
 *' What? (cries the other, in a fury) 
 
 " You beetle-headed fool ! — your horse, 
 
 •' For me, may range, and takeit'jj course." 
 
 But recqllecting, that, if lost, 
 
 It might, perhaps, some money cost, 
 
 The which to pay he was not able, 
 
 He fairly -lodg'd him in the stable. 
 
 Our^ero coolly onward goes 
 
 To where strong steams assail his nose: 
 
 Follows the servants, carrying dishes 
 
 Of boil'd and roast meat, fowls and fishes; 
 
 Here a select groupe dine together. 
 
 All knowing'Ones — birds of a feather. — 
 
 He enters— one asks, "Sir, whom seek you? 
 
 *' Sir, (cries our hero, very meekly) 
 
 *» I beg, my dear Sir, you'd be seated — 
 
 " Now, pray, Sir — Sir, do be entreated." 
 
 " He's deaf (says one) e'en let him stay— 
 
 " He'll not refuse his shot to pay " 
 
 So down they sat — and, dinner ended, 
 
 Deafness again poor Dick befriended ; 
 
 For now a shilling he throws down — 
 
 " 'Sdeath, Sir, (cries one) 'tis not a crown 
 
 *< Will pay your shot"—" Nay, Sir, (says 
 
 t'other) 
 (Tho' laughter he could scarcely smother) 
 •' For my good fare I'm very willing, 
 " It can't be loo much at a shilling." — 
 They try'd to make him hear in vain — 
 i9« Dick in peace march'd ont again. 
 
 The hardest task was still to come, 
 How to procure a lodgiuij-room ; 
 Rut fortune still the bold befriends. 
 Nor quits them till they gain their ends. 
 
 A pan of coals, at night, he spies. 
 Whilst pleasure sparkleri in his eyes. 
 Which Susan chambermaid with car* 
 (Carried up stairs, the bed to air; 
 Dick follows cautiously and slow, 
 " Tripping on light, fantastic toe," 
 Thea cries " My dear, why where's my cap ? 
 " Ob — you've forgot to bring't mayhap— 
 '• Well, never heed— I'll do without"— 
 The other quickly turn'd about — 
 " The dence is in the man, says Sue, 
 " Why, Sir, this room is not for you"— 
 " Nay, nay — I shan't catch cold, I vow 
 " I've used my handkerchief 'fore now" — 
 Down goes the maid, with pau in hand. 
 And gives her dame to understand 
 " How that deaf rascal (thus she said) 
 " Had got into the yellow bed, 
 " Which these two gentlemen, you know, 
 " Bespoke above two months ago — 
 " Besides, he's lock'd and barr'd the door.** 
 " Oh, then (cries one) pray say no more; 
 " If that's the case, I would not venture, 
 " No, not for fifty pounds, to enter: 
 " Tho' I should like to force my way, 
 " Yet law, perhaps, might make me pay; 
 " And costs and damages would teazeme 
 " More than this rash exploit would please 
 me." 
 So spoke the lawyer— all agreed 
 No one the cause could better plead; 
 .So, tho' with hearts of grief and ire. 
 On chairs they lay, before the fire. 
 When morning came, our hero rose, 
 And with much glee put on his clothes, 
 Well pleas'd, the business now was done. 
 And eke his wager fairly won. 
 
 His reck'niiig paid, his breaUasl o'er. 
 On his horse mounted at the door, 
 The mistress of the house appear'd 
 To bid " good dav"— a sound was beard! 
 At which our hero cries " well done! 
 " Zooks! madam, you'd make a charming 
 gun ! ' 
 " Why, you deaf toad, (the hostess cries 
 " With "anger flashing^ from her eyes) 
 " Are you the man that could not hear 
 '•■ A single word?"— Oh, never faar — 
 " There's nothing wrong — for surely health 
 " Should be preserv'd — tho' e'en by stealth: 
 " And as to Uearing — why — depend on't 
 " None are so truly deaf as those tltat 
 won't !" 
 
 On a Head Stone for an Infant (f Tic» 
 
 Years of Age. 
 THE riiiling world turn'd poet, made ;i play, 
 I tame lo see it, difeiik'd, aad went asray.
 
 59? Literary Curiosities^ Epitaphs^ Wonderful Events^ 
 
 The Life of Benjamin Johnson, the 
 Dramatic Poet. 
 
 HF; was one of the most eminent 
 English dramatic poels in the sevcn- 
 tecnili century, and was descended 
 from a Scots family, his erandfalher, 
 who M'as a gentleman, being of An- | 
 Candale in tliat kingdom, whence he ' 
 removed to Cailislc, and was after- 
 w^ards employed under Henry VHI. 
 His father lost his estate under Queen 
 ]\]ary, in whose reign he suliered im- 
 prisonment; and at last entered into 
 holy orders, and died about a month 
 before our poet's birth, who was born 
 at Westminster, in the year 157-i. He 
 was fir>t educated at a private school 
 in St. Martin's in the Fields; and af- 
 terwards removed to Westminster- 
 school, where the famous Camden was 
 master. Thence hi* mother, who had 
 married a bricklayer to her second 
 husband, took him home, and obliged 
 him to work at his falher-in-!aw'.s 
 trade. But beina extremely averse 
 to that employment, he went into the 
 Low Countries, where he distinguished 
 himself by his bravery, having in the 
 view of both the aitnies killed one of 
 the enemies, and taken the opimn 
 ipoUa from him. Upon his return to 
 Erigland, he applied himself with 
 great vigour to his former studies, and 
 is said to have been admitted into St. 
 John's College in the University of 
 Cambridge; though his continuance 
 there seems to have been but short. 
 He had some time after this, the mis- 
 fortuie of being engaged in a duel 
 with a person who had challenged 
 him; wherein he killed his adversary, 
 though the latter had wounded him 
 with a sword ten inches longer than 
 his own. For this offence he was 
 committed to prison, where, being vi- 
 sited by a Popish priest, he became a 
 proselyte to the church of Rome, in 
 which he continued twelve years; but 
 was at last reconciled to that of Eng- 
 land. Some have asserted that he 
 
 was tutor to, and travelled abroad 
 with a son of Sir Walter liakigh; but 
 this is evidently false. He is said 
 likewise, upon his leaving the univer- 
 sity, to have entered himself in an 
 obscure play-house, called the Green 
 Curtain, about Shoreditch orClerkon- 
 well; but that his first action and 
 writing there were both ill. He was 
 indeed unquestionably an actor, for 
 some time, and probably only a stroll- 
 ing one. For Decker, in his Hislri- 
 omatrix, a play published in 16'0?, 
 and designed as a reply to Johnson's 
 Poetaster, reproaches him with hav- 
 ing left his occupation of a moriar- 
 treader to turn actor; and with hav- 
 ing put up a supplication to be a poor 
 journeyman player, in which he would 
 have continued, but that he could not 
 set a good face on it, and so was 
 cashiered. Besides, if we admit that 
 satire to be built on facts, we learn 
 further, that he performed the part of 
 Zuliman at the Paris Garden in South- 
 wark; and " ambled by a play-wag- 
 gon in the highway, and took mad 
 Jeronymo's part to get service among 
 the mimics." Shakspearc first intro- 
 duced him into the world ; for our 
 poet, who was at this time altogether 
 unknown to the public, having offered 
 one of his plays to the players, in 
 order to have it acted, the persons, 
 into whose hands it was put, after 
 having turned it caroslesly and super- 
 ciliously over, were just upon return- 
 ing it to him with an ill-natured an- 
 swer, that it would be of no service 
 to their company, when Shakspear* 
 luckily cast his eye upon it, and found 
 something so well in it, as to engage 
 hinri, first to read it through, and af- 
 terwards to recommend the author 
 and his writings to the public. His 
 first printed dramatic performance 
 was a comedy, intitlcd Every Man 
 in tiis Humour, acted in the year 
 15yS; which being soon followed by 
 several others, as his Sejanus, his I'ol- 
 pone, his Sile7it il'oman, and his Al-
 
 interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, Sfc. 5QS 
 
 c/ur/iist, gaineJ him so his,h a repu- 
 tiitiun, Uuit ill October l6ip, upon 
 llie (Jeath of ]Mr. Samuel Daniel, he 
 was apnoiiiteci poet-laurpat to Kmo 
 James 1. ami on the 19th of Jiilv the 
 same year, \%as created Master of Arts 
 at Ovford, haviiio resided for some 
 time at Christ-church in that Dniver- 
 siiy- However, he had once incurred 
 his Majesty's displeasure, by writing, 
 in conjunction with Mr. George Cha{)- 
 tnan and Mr. John Marston, a pla^., 
 called East ward- Hoe, wherein they 
 were accused of havins reflected on 
 the Scots nation, and for that leason 
 in danger of losing their ears and 
 noses. Upon their reloasement from 
 pri-^on, our poet gave an entertainment 
 to his friends; ami^no whom were Cam 
 den and SeiJen ; and in the midst of 
 it, his mother drank to him, and shewed 
 him a paper of poison, which she had 
 <iesiorned, if the sentence for his pu- 
 nishment had passed, to have mixed 
 with his drink, alter she had first taken 
 a portion of it herself. Upon the 
 accession of King Charles I. to the 
 crown, he wrote a petition to his Ma- 
 jesty, that as his royal father had al- 
 lowed him an annual pension of a 
 hundred markj, he would make them 
 pounds; and in 1629 wrote an epi- 
 gram to that king, upon his sending 
 him that sum during his sickness. — 
 He had likewise a pension from the 
 city of London, and from several ot 
 liie nobility and gentry, and particu- 
 larly from Mr. Sutton, the founder 
 of the Charter-bouse. In his last 
 sickness he often repented of his pro- 
 fanation of scripture in his plays. 
 He died on the 6th of August, 1637, 
 in the sixty-third jear of his age, and 
 was interred ihree days after in Wes:- 
 niinsier-Abbey. He had several chil- 
 dren, but none survived him. ]Mr, 
 Drummond of Hawthornden, an in- 
 timate friend of his, lep^e^en1s his 
 personal character in verydisadvan- 
 tageous terms; that " he was a great 
 I<Her and i)raiier of himself, a con- 
 
 temner and scorner of others; given 
 rather to lose a friend than a jest; 
 jealous of every word and action of 
 those about him, especially after 
 drink, which was one of the elements 
 in which he lived ; a dissembler of 
 the parts which reign in him ; a brag- 
 ^er of some good, that he wanted. 
 He thought nothing right, but what 
 either himself or soine of his friends 
 had said or done. He was passion- 
 ately kind and angry; careless either 
 to gain or keep; vindictive, but, if 
 he was well answered, greatly cha- 
 grined ; interpreting the best sayings 
 dud deeds often to the worst. He 
 was for any religion, being versed iti 
 both ; oppressed with fancy, which, 
 over-mastered his reason, a general 
 di-ease among the poets. His inven- 
 tions were smooth and easy ; but: 
 above all, he excelled in a transla- 
 don." He had a very strong mc 
 mory ; for he tells us himself, that 
 ho could in his youth have repeated 
 all that he had ever written, and so 
 continued till he was past forty; and 
 even after that he could have repeated 
 whole books that he had read, and 
 poems of some select friends, which 
 he thought woitb charging his me- 
 mory with. JMr. Pope remarks, that 
 when our poet got possession of the 
 stage, he brought critical learning into 
 vogue ; and that this was not done 
 without difticuity, may appaar irum 
 those frequent lessons, and, indeed, 
 almost declamations, which he was 
 forced to prefix to his irst plays, and 
 put into the mouth of his actors, the 
 (J7'ex, Chorus, &:c. to remove the pre- 
 judices, and inform the judgment of 
 Ins hearers. Till then ihe English 
 authors had no thoughts of writing 
 upon the model of the ancients; their 
 tuigedies were only histoiies in dia- 
 logue; and the:r comedies followed 
 (he thread ot any noy^el, as they found 
 It, no less implicitly, than if it had 
 i)een true history. Mr. Selden styles 
 lum his * beloved friend, and a sin- 
 4 G
 
 59i Literary Curiosifies^ Epiiaphs, Wonderful Events^ 
 
 gular poet/ and extols his specinl 
 worth in literature, and accurate 
 judgment." Mr. Dryden gives him 
 the title of the " greatest man of the 
 last age;" and observes, that if we 
 look upon him, while he was him«elf, 
 (for his last plays were but his dotage;-) 
 be was the most learned and judi- 
 cious writer which any theatre ever 
 had ; that he was a most severe judge 
 of himself as well as others; that one 
 cannot say he wanted wit, but rather 
 that he was frugal of it ; that in his 
 works there is little to be retrenched 
 or altered ; but that humour was his 
 proper sphere. Mr. Shadwell like- 
 wise declares, that he was incompa- 
 rably the best dramatic poet, that ever 
 was, or probably ever will be. 
 
 Account */" a ruminating Man, 
 
 TO ruminate, or chew the cud, is 
 an action thought peculiar to some 
 four-footed animals; but we have a 
 remarkable instance in the Philoso- 
 phical Transactions, of a ruminating 
 man who lived at Bristol. ?Ie would 
 begin to chew his meat over again 
 within a quarter of an hour after his 
 meals, if he drank upon them ; if not, 
 it was somewhat later. This chewing 
 after a full meal, la-^ted about an hour 
 and a half; and if he went to bed 
 presently after meals, he could not 
 isleep till the usual time of rumination 
 was over. Tlie victuals, upon their 
 return, tasted rather plettsanter than 
 at firsit. Bread, meat, cheese, and 
 drink, returned much of the colour 
 as if they had been mixed together 
 in a moitar. Broth and other spoon 
 meats returned to his mouth all one 
 as dry anti solid food. The victuals 
 seemed to him to lie heavy in his 
 throat till they had undergone a se- 
 cond chewing, after which they would 
 pass clean away; and he always ob- 
 served, that if he ate variety of things, 
 what he swallowed first, came up 
 «oiiin first to be chewed. If this fa- 
 
 culty intermitted at any time, it por- 
 tended sickness, and ha newer was weH 
 till it returned. When this account 
 was given by Dr. Slare, the man wa» 
 twenty years of age, and had been so 
 affected ever since he could remem- 
 ber. Irli> father sometimes ruminated, 
 but nothing near so much as his son. 
 Newbury^s fVonders, 
 
 Lunatic Asylum, Y&rk, March, 1783. 
 
 ON the 25th of October, 1778, a 
 sea-faring person, about forty years 
 of age, was recommended to the Lu- 
 natic Asylum for cure. About two 
 years before that tinae he had sus- 
 tained a considerable loss by sea, 
 which so operated upon his mind as 
 nearly to deprive him of all his rea- 
 soning faculties. In this state he was 
 admitted into the Asylum. When 
 examined, he could haidly be pre- 
 vailed on to open his lips, and the 
 very few words that he uttered, seemed 
 to come from him in heaviness and 
 sorrow. During his abode in th© 
 Asylum he was never observed to ex- 
 press any desire for nourishment; and 
 so great was his inattention to this par- 
 ticular, that for the first six weeks he 
 was obliged to be fed in the manneE 
 of an infant. Food and medicines 
 were equally indifr'erent to him. A 
 servant undressed him at night, and 
 dressed him in the morning; after 
 which he was conducted to his seat iu 
 the common parlour, where he re- 
 mained all day with his body bent, 
 and his eyes fixed on the ground. 
 From all the circumstances of his be- 
 haviour, he did not appear to be in 
 possession of any ideas of reflection ; 
 every thing was indifferent to him, and 
 from the fairest judgment that could 
 be formed, he was considered by all 
 about him as an animal converted 
 nearly into a vegetable. In this stale 
 of insensibility he remaiiied till the 
 morning of the 14th of May last, a 
 period of iva.^'«ais aji^. siK^inontl^s,
 
 Interesting Narrathes, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, 8fc. 595 
 
 when, upon entering the parlour, lie 
 saluted the recovering patients with » 
 *' Good morrow to you all." He then 
 thanke*! the stewards of the houi^e m 
 the most afFectionat« manner for theii 
 tenderness to him, of which he said 
 he be^an to be sensible some weeks 
 before, but had not till then the re- 
 solution to express his gratitude. A 
 few days after this unexpected return 
 to reason, he was permitted to write 
 a letter to his wife, in which he ex- 
 presses himself with becoming pro- 
 priety. At that time he seemed to 
 have a peculiar pleasure in the enjoy- 
 ment of the open air, and in his walks 
 conversed with freedom and serenity. 
 Talking with him on wliat he felt 
 during the suspension of reason, he 
 said his mind was totally lost, but that 
 about two months before his return 
 to himself, he began to have thoughts 
 and sensations: these, however, only 
 served to convey to him fears and 
 apprehensions, especially in the night 
 time. With regard to his medicinal 
 treatment," I shall only observe, that 
 the medicines usually prescribed for 
 melancholy persons, were in his case 
 studiously avoided, and instead of 
 evacuants, cordials and a generous 
 diet were constantly recommended. 
 During the remainder of his stay in 
 the Asylum, he continued to behave 
 himself with steadiness and propriety. 
 He ate, drank, and slept mederateiy, 
 and upon all occasions showed a gen- 
 tle and benevolent disposition. 
 
 Finding his mind sufficiently strong, 
 he returned to hi? family on the ^Sth 
 of May last. — Soon after this, he was 
 appointed to the command of a ship 
 employed in the Baltic trade, in which 
 service he is at this time engaoed. 
 
 In a Church-yard in Wiltshire. 
 
 BENEATH this gteane lies oar dear child^ 
 
 who's goue from We, 
 For evermore, unto Eternity; 
 Where Us do hope, that We shall go to He, 
 Eat Him cao oe'er go back agaja to We. 
 
 Enigmatical List of Streights in 
 Europe. 
 
 TIIREE-sixths of a gallows, two- 
 fouiths of passion, a liquid letter, and 
 half of a shield. 
 
 To act, two sixths of a republic in 
 Italy, and a consonant. 
 
 To make a noi'^e. 
 
 A poition of food, a preposition, 
 and a vowel. 
 
 Firm, a significant vowel, and to 6e 
 great, changing a letter. 
 
 To consider, and a monosyllable. 
 
 A Copy of a Letter from James, tlis 
 seventh Earl of Derby, to Oliver 
 CromiceU ; to tvkose illiberal rC' 
 veno-e the Earl afterwards fell a 
 sacrifice, 
 
 I RECEIVFD your letter with in- 
 dignation and with scorn: I return 
 you this answer — That I cannot but 
 wonder whence you should gather any 
 hopes from me, that I should, like 
 you, prove treacherous to my sove- 
 reign, since you cannot be insensible 
 of my fornaer actions in his late Ma- 
 jesty's service, from which principles 
 of loyalty I am no ways departed. 
 
 I scorn your proffers; I disdain 
 your favours ; I abhor your treason: 
 and am so far from delivering this 
 is-land to your advantage, that I will 
 keep it to the utmost of my power to 
 your destruction. 
 
 Take this final answer, and forbear 
 any further solicitations; for if you 
 trouble me with any more messages 
 upon this occasion, I will burn the 
 paper, and hang the bearer. 
 
 This is the immutable resolution, 
 and shall be the undoubted practice of 
 him who accounts it thechiefest glory 
 to be — His Majesty's most lo)al and 
 obedient subject, DERBY, 
 
 Castle -Town, Isle of Man, 
 Vith July, 1(J49. 
 
 A'. B. The Earl of Derby was be- 
 headed at Bolton, October 15, lG5i, 
 4c 2
 
 596 Literarij CuriositieSy Epitaphs, Wonderful Events^ 
 
 Parody on Skakujteare' a Seven A^es. 
 
 BETJG!ON's made a farce, 
 And par«ous are bu< rneu, like yotf or mp. 
 They have their foibles aud tbcir fopperies; 
 And we amontr <hein see strange characters : 
 To mention only seven. — At tirst the cu- 
 rate, 
 Hnmtrting and hawing to his drowsy herd : 
 And then the pedagogi e, with formal wig. 
 His night-iS[own and his cap, ruling likt 
 
 Turk, 
 All in his dusky school; — then the smart 
 
 PRIKST, 
 
 Writing extempore, forsooth, a rhyme 
 Quaiut to his mistress' shoe-string; — then 
 
 the VICAR, 
 Full of fees custom'ry, with burying gloves, 
 Jealous of all his rights, and apt to quarrel ; 
 Claiming his paltry, periny-larihing tythes, 
 E'en at the lawyer's hands;— and then the 
 
 KECTOR, 
 
 With good tythe-pig, in sleek surcingle 
 
 sttiff'd; 
 With eyes fat-swoln, and shining double 
 
 chin ; 
 Full of wise nods and orthodox distinctions, 
 And so he gains respect. Proceed we next 
 Unto the old ivcimhent, at hi-i gate, 
 With silken scull-cap tied beneath his chin, 
 A large capacious banyan wrapping round 
 His vasty paunch, and his once thundering 
 
 voice 
 Now whistling through his gnms: his 
 
 audience snore 
 Responsive to the sound. — Best scefieof all, 
 VFith which I close my rfrerenrf description. 
 Is your WELCH parson, ivith hur nolle 
 
 living, 
 Sans shoes — sans shirt — sans hose — sans 
 
 #very thing. 
 
 Lines written in a Country Barn, on seeing 
 a miserable Company of Strolling Players. 
 
 5'HEIll aim to please, but ah, their fate 
 
 how hard, 
 Whom neither fRme, nor solid gains reward : 
 Poor in their fortune — poorer in their art. 
 Through life they're doom'd to act a starv- 
 ing part ! 
 Ye great and powerful ! from their hnmble 
 
 scene, 
 One useful moral, ye perhaps might glean; 
 Alight see what source all your distinction 
 
 gives 
 From these yonr miaiic representatives, 
 (For (hey can strut in fancied greatness too, 
 And play their parts, not mncb unlike to 
 
 you) 
 'Tin wealth and dress,— Conteiiijpt and scorn 
 
 await 
 These poor and ragged mimics of yonr state, 
 Queens, blauket-rob'd, who can't afl'ord a 
 
 gown, 
 Ad() fami-hed moaarcbS; without haij-a- 
 
 eroicn ,' 
 
 CKISPIN A^'D KITTY ; 
 
 Supposed to he written by a poor brnhen- 
 hearted Cohler on the Death of his Wife. 
 
 " AS c!o.se .IS to t!ie sturdy sole, 
 " In stitch'd the upper leather, 
 
 '* While 1 on hoofs i io.s'd niany a hole, 
 " We hoof'd thro' life togtther. 
 
 ■' We vax'd in love, a faitiiful pair, 
 
 '■ I j.-riz'd her as my aid ; 
 " But when at last her end drew near, 
 
 " Death coaxed her from my stall 1 
 
 " Yet tho' my lapslone's now a load, 
 " My strap scarce v»-or(h attending; 
 
 " I trust my Kit now liuds abode, 
 
 " Where souls no more want mending ,'" 
 
 Thus C^is!^in sung in dofeful dumps, 
 
 'i'ho' bootless was the stave; 
 Till eyes that streani'd o'er shoes and pumps, 
 
 Were clos'd iu Kitty's grave! 
 
 To my Tobacco Pipe. 
 
 BLESS thee, my pipe, inspirer of the son!. 
 For thee 1 grasp in arm chair as I sff. 
 And, if some friend the cbearful hour should 
 
 pass 
 Mixing with me the interchanging glass. 
 The approving genius of jokes and wit 
 .''miles from the clouds which eddy o'er 
 
 thy bowl ; 
 When friends are gone, upon the hearth so 
 
 neat. 
 My best friend pnss lies purring at my feet ; 
 \n^, while I list her thought enmoving 
 
 strain. 
 Thee 1 enabrace, and whiff, my liquor qnafT; 
 Then thint on this droll scene, the world, 
 
 and laugh ; 
 Think on the many days which now are 
 
 past, 
 Some bright with sunshine, most with clouds 
 
 o'ercast ; 
 Think on the future, and then— tr/itjf again, 
 
 Amongst the smaller Stones, in f^^rexham 
 Chnrch-yard, are tlie following : 
 
 HERE lies interr'd beneath these stones, 
 The heard, the' flesh, and eke the bones, 
 Of Wrexham's clerk, old David Jones. 
 lt)88. 
 
 By the otlier we find that the (deceased had 
 lived, but not that he died. 
 
 HERE lies John Shore, 
 
 I say uo more, 
 
 Who was alive 
 
 In sixtv-five, October 9tl».
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, S^c. bOJ 
 
 An Historical Account of the most 
 celebrated English Beauties. 
 
 THE beauty of womeu intimates to 
 men somewhat of the exctlk'ncies of 
 anjiels : princes have bowt-H to its 
 empire, heroes Iwve been subdu'jd bv 
 its power, philosophers have ft It its 
 intlueiice, and poe(s have exerted 
 tljeniseives most iii its praise Carnea- 
 deiis c:j|l«;d it rovaltv without forrc : 
 it is irrisi->tibit : but Monsieur St. 
 Evremoni was too severe jipon the lair 
 sex, w'lien !ie affirirod, thai the Ins' 
 sighs of ;i handsome woman are not so 
 much for tlie Kjss of her l:fe, as of her 
 beauty. Virtue is dijjnitu d by baei!- 
 ty ; yet many distinguished ladies bave 
 been unhappily adorned with the lat- 
 ter, wiiiie they were snihcientiy ami- 
 able with the former. Antirpiity af- 
 fords many instances of this kind; 
 but witliMnf dwelling' upon those fatal 
 eft'ecis which beauty brou;?!it upon 
 Helen in Greece, Lucretia in Rome, 
 Cleopatra in Esjj)!, and Marnmne in 
 Judea, \ here are striking; proofs enough 
 of it in the history of En«lynd. 
 
 Edilha, dauahler cf Earl Godwin, 
 was married to Kins Edward the Con- 
 fessor, in 1044. She was the most 
 amiable lady of her age, both for 
 beauty and virtue; but as the king, 
 who was of a very timorous disposi- 
 tion, was obliged to marty her, in 
 pursuance of a promise lie had made 
 to her father, the marriage was never 
 consummated. Godwin was hated bv 
 the king; he fomenttd a civil war. 
 and was banished the kingdom; while 
 the king ungenerously stripped his own 
 queen of her effects, and confined her 
 in the nunnery of Were we I, only be 
 rause she was the daughter of God- 
 win. However, Godwin was restore*) 
 to bis honours; and his son Harold 
 afterwards ascended the throne : for 
 King Edward died without issue, 
 whereby the male branch of the Cer- 
 dic and Egbert linp became extinct: 
 though, if this weak prince had not 
 
 preposterously abstained irom con- 
 versing with iiis queen, he might have 
 had cirildren, and thereby })reverited 
 a revolution, which involved the Eng- 
 lish in ."-lavery, and transferred the 
 crown to William dnke of Normandy. 
 The Norman and Saxon lines were 
 united in the Princess Maud, daughter 
 of Henry the I. by Matilda, daugh- 
 Ur to Malcoiin king of Scotland, by 
 Margari^t, sister to Edgar Atheling, 
 the right Saxon heir to the crown. 
 She ntarried the emperor of (icr.'iiany, 
 whose deati; left iier a biautifnl widow 
 and the mistres^s < f an imn.ense for- 
 tune ; while, on the death of her bro- 
 ther PrrnceWilliam, who was drowned 
 rtith liis natural sister, the countess of 
 Perche, on the coast of France, she 
 was the undoubted heiress to the 
 «>rown of England ; and as such, the 
 parliament took an oath to pay their 
 allegiance to her, if llie king, who was 
 then watried t(. his second wife Ade- 
 liza, d^ujihter to tK? duke of Louvain, 
 dkd without ii'ale issue. Afier tiiis^ 
 1I27, the EnifJitss M:-i,ud, married 
 GeoiiVy Pianlagenet, or Br . 'in-stalk, 
 earl of Anjou, bv whom she had a 
 prince named Henry ; and tlie English 
 not only renewed their feaity to the 
 mother, but extended it to the son. 
 Maud succeeded her father in his 
 ducliy of Normandy, while the king- 
 <]om of England was seized upon by 
 Stephen, earl of BuUoign, third son of 
 the earl of Blois, by A<lela, daui;hter 
 to VVilliair. the Cnnqutior, who found 
 little difficulty in obtaining' the crown, 
 before Maud couhi arrive in the king- 
 dom; for the English dreaded that 
 her husband should have any com- 
 mand over them. However, Maud 
 irained the discontented clergy and 
 nobility to her interest ; took Stephen 
 jirisoner, who promised to ren<;nnce 
 the crown, and pass the remainder of 
 his lii'fc- in a monastery, if Maud vsould 
 or.snt him his liberty : but this was 
 impniitically refused, and a revolt en* 
 sued ia favour of Stephen; because
 
 59S Liferanj Curiosities^ Epitaphs^ IVonderfid Events, 
 
 the Eniftvess retained that Normal; 
 prido, which made her f:;Ther, uncle, 
 and yraiuilatiier, co35sidy;v the English 
 snhjects as so man} slaves. She was 
 besieged in Winchester castle, and 
 with difficulty escaped bting taken 
 prisoner ; but her soji married the di- 
 vorced queeii of Lewis, king of France, 
 and again invaded Eni^land ; when 
 Stephen agreed, liiat alter his decease, 
 Henry should succeed him as his law- 
 ful heir. Tluis lUimd was precluded 
 from ascending the tijrone; but it was 
 ascended by Henry II. her son, in 
 whom the Norman and Saxon blood 
 was united. 
 
 Heriry ihs H. was an illustrious 
 prijice, and had several children by 
 Queen Eleanor, daughter nf William 
 iluke of Aquitain : but, among his 
 vices, lust was his predominant pas- 
 sion ; I'ud he was so greatly euamtnircd 
 with Fair Ilosaniund, daughter of the 
 Lord Clifford, that lie kept her in a 
 labyrinth, built on purj)ose at Wood- 
 stock, to secure her from the rage of 
 llie queen, who, it is reported, in 1 1 JQ, 
 fuund means to dispatch her rival out 
 of the way by poison. Fair Rosamond 
 was certainly tlie most beautiful lady 
 in England : her beauty won her the 
 love of a great monarch, but it raised 
 the jealousy of a bold spirited queen, 
 who encouraged her sons to rebel 
 against tiieir father. This occasiuned 
 the effusion of much blood, the death 
 of Fair Rosamond, and tiie imprison- 
 ment of Queca Eleanor ; for the 
 greatest beauty, without some virtue, 
 is attended wiih many calamities. 
 
 The Princess Joanna, sister of 
 Biehard the L was married to Wil- 
 liam, king of Sicily, whose crown was 
 seized by Tancred, his bastard-bro- 
 ther. Joanna was a very amiable lady ; 
 but Tancred, instead of paying her 
 dowej', imprisoned the English prin- 
 cess, until she was released by her 
 brother, whom she accoujpauitd with 
 bis Queen Borenguella, to the holy 
 var, vifaere Kichifird faiucd iuiiuortal 
 
 ^lorv, but was shipwrecked, on his 
 leturu, in the gulpii of venioe, and 
 impvisoiicd sereral years by the duke 
 of Austria, whom he had affronted in 
 Palestine. 
 
 Avisa, the daughter of the great earl 
 of Gloucester, was remarkable for her 
 beauty ; she was married nine years to 
 King John, who, in 1200, became so 
 strongly enamoured with the charms 
 of Isabella of Angouleme, that he 
 obtained a divorce frorvi his Qneeu 
 Avisa, and married Isabella, though 
 she was contracted to the earl of 
 Marche, who, iu revenge, attempted 
 • to dethrone him. 
 
 Arthur, duke of Brelagne, was the 
 right heir to the crown of England, 
 which had been seized by his uncle 
 John, whom he also endeavoured to 
 dethrone, in conjunction with the earl 
 of Marche; but they were defeated 
 by King John near Mirabel, in Poic- 
 tou, in 1202, who took them prison- 
 ers, together with the Princess Eleanor, 
 sister to the duke. This lady was 
 called, The Beauty of Bretagne; but 
 she was sent to England, where she 
 was contined forty years in the castle 
 of Bristol, and her brother w as mur- 
 dered by his uncle. 
 
 Edward the I. unhappily lost his 
 excellent Queen Eleanor, in 1291. 
 She had saved her husband's life in 
 Palestine, by sucking the poison out 
 of his wound ; but she died of a fever 
 at Grantham, in Lincolnshire, to 
 whose memory Charing-Cross, and 
 several (;thers were erected, wherever 
 the corps rested in the way to West- 
 minster, This monarch was the 
 scourge of Scotland : he was to have 
 been married to the Scotch princess, 
 but she died in her passage to Eng- 
 land : however, in 129.9, he marrietl 
 Margaret, sister to the king of France, 
 tjiougli she was only eighteen, and 
 Edward was sixty years of age. Ed- 
 ward had three children by ftlargaret, 
 but none of them succeeded to the 
 ciownj and this beautiful luU) was
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams^ Voetrij^ %c. 509 
 
 very unhappy; for her son-iu-lart', 
 Edward the 11. married her iiiecf 
 Isabella, daughter of the French mo- 
 narch, when she was only thirteen 
 years old. Notwithstanding the beau- 
 ty of his queen, Edward was so fond 
 of his favourite Pierce Gaveston, tliat 
 Isabella complained to her father of 
 the fondness of her husband for this 
 man, which allixieated his affections 
 from her, and made her an entire 
 stranger to his bed. Gaveston was ' 
 beheaded by the earl of Warwick ; 
 but t!ie king became equally fond of 
 Hugh Spencer. Charles the Fair, 
 king of France, was dissatisfied at the 
 ill-treatment of his sister Isabella, who 
 went into France, where she formed a 
 conspiracy for dethroning her husband 
 and putting her son upon the throne ; 
 she succeeded in her views, but prosti- 
 tuted her charms in the embraces of 
 Roger Mortimer, while her husband 
 was cruelly murdered. Indeed, the 
 Spencers had so far incensed the pee- 
 pie agaiust the king, that they called 
 the queen their deliverer: but she be- 
 came so very arbitrary, that her son, 
 Edward III. confined iier for life to 
 her house at Risings, and her favourite 
 Mortimer was hanged at Tyburn. 
 
 Joanna of Kent was cousin to fhe 
 Black Prince, who married her for lier 
 great beauty ; but she had the mor- 
 tification to see her glorious husband 
 cut off in the fsower of his age ; and 
 though her son, Richard li. succeed- 
 ed to the throne, he wus deposed on 
 account of his favorites, after marry- 
 ing Anne of Luxemberg, sister to the 
 Emperor Wencessus. 
 
 Henry the VL married Margaret, 
 the dauijliter of Rene, duke of Anjoa, 
 titular kin? of Sicily, «nd niece of tise 
 Queen of France, vShe was a lady of 
 great beauty and spirit; but her hus- 
 banil lost the kingdom of Franca, 
 which his father had won ; and shewed 
 MS, that England, by cnu'eavoiiring to 
 conquer that kingdom, ruiucd liersiif. 
 William de iu Pole, duke wf SuiVulk, 
 
 was the favourite of this pacific and 
 uuiiappy monarch ; but the conduct 
 of the duke, like that tf Gaveston, 
 and the Spencers, under Edward II. 
 incited a civil war, which occasioned 
 the death of both him and the king. 
 The duke of York v\as victorious over 
 all the friends of the house of Lancas- 
 ter; but he was defeated by the queen, 
 and slain at the battle of Wakefield, 
 She afterwards beat the great earl of 
 W^arwick, on Bernard's-Heatb, near 
 St. Alban's; but was herself defeated 
 by Edward IV. between Caxton and 
 Towton, though she fought with all 
 the spirit of a Zenobia. She then fied 
 into Scotland, where she raised ano- 
 ther army, and re-entered England, 
 but was suddenly repulsed by Lord 
 Montague, and obliged to fly again 
 into Scotland. Prince Edward, the ' 
 son of Henry the VI. was married 
 to Anne, th.e daughter of the earl of 
 Warwick, who. then opposed king 
 Eflward the IV. and obliged him 
 to retire into Holland, from whence 
 he soon returnee!, defeated, and sJew 
 , the earl of Warwick at Barnet. How- 
 ever, Queen Margaret levied another 
 army, but was overtaken by Edwaid 
 VI. at Tewkesbury, who made her 
 and her son prisoners. The young 
 priiree was in the eighteenth year of 
 his age, and was barbarously massa- 
 cred by some of the principal York- 
 ists, in the presence of his mother, 
 who was confined in the Tower of 
 London for four years, when she was 
 ransomed by her lather for fifty thou- 
 sand crowns. 
 
 Philip de Comines says, that Edward 
 the IV. was so reiatirkable for the 
 beauty of his person, that lie owed his 
 restoration clsiefly to the inclination 
 which the ladies bore for him ; but 
 w|iile he was demanding Bona of Savoy 
 in niarrisge, who was sister to the 
 Freiich qjieen, he accidentally fell in 
 love with, and married Eii2iibeth 
 SVo<i(ivi;l«', the widow of Sir John 
 Citev, who was kilJed in the battle of
 
 600 Literarif CiH'iofi't'ies^ Epitaphs^ JVo'ulFiff/l Events^ 
 
 Bernard's flcalli. Tiiis luarriiige uc 
 c:i*.i"iie(l ali tlif resent ir.<-iit of tiie eai I 
 of" Warwick aaai.nst the ki.is;; luid li 
 also made the Freftch kii!<; lijs eriCm^ 
 However, the ()ii«-.'ii had little h;ij>|»;- 
 ness ixon\ I his alii.tiioe ; only the iiiar- 
 ria<;e occasioned tiie hirth <./"a j)riiict\ss, 
 who, afkr trie imirder of htr two 
 brothers, bv their niit If, Richard tin 
 in. he;ame li)c happy isntrunitnt oj 
 uniting- the coiiteiidiiif; houses of Voik 
 «n(l Lancaster. Drsides, this que-'s; 
 was ntade uidiappy by three concu- 
 bines kepi by the ki:ig; of" whom tin 
 celebrated Jane Shore was the gjeatest 
 favourite; beinij eipraliy remarkable 
 for her beauty in yuuth, and hei 
 misery in i»^e ; for ?he had been the 
 happy wife of an oj)»lent nierfliant, 
 the idolized niistrfssof a potent kiii^ 
 and the fair adidlress of a noble lord 
 The protector was afraid of takin;.' her 
 life, but lie stripped her of her for- 
 tune : however, >>he did not perisli for 
 want, according to ihe conininu report; 
 and thou^h Mr. Kowe Jias b^'anfd'idly 
 embellished her story, he nnist have 
 been sensible, that she was iilive in 
 the niiin of iK>nry the VIII. 
 
 Richard the 1 1 1, married the ynuii<:; 
 widow of the prince of Wales, whom 
 he married at '1 Vuke^^bury, and then 
 caused her death through excess of 
 grief, that he mii^iit marry his own 
 niece, the princess Klizabeth, daughter 
 of Edward the IV. who expressed 
 the utmost abhorrence at such an 
 union. 
 
 The earl of Richmond invaded Eng- 
 land, and laid cbini to the crown, as 
 the immediate heir to the house of 
 Laiicaslir. He defoiiled and slew 
 Richarti at Bosworlh ; after which he 
 was crowned, atid united both ros<':. 
 by marrying the Princess Klizabeth. 
 
 fvho was the mo^t beautiful lady of 
 ier time. But Henry the VII. was 
 jt-alous of any thin;; that might aggran- 
 dize the liousf of York, and so suspi- 
 cious of any ii^pect that was paid to 
 Liis (jaeen, thai lie sheued her very 
 
 liflle regard, which occasioned several 
 liis'uvxections. 
 
 Henry tiie VIIl. had six wives, 
 and some of them very remarkabl*; /or 
 ihcir beauty : but none of them eii- 
 j )yed uiuch felicity. Cathariiie of 
 Arragon was cruelly divorced : Aiiue 
 Bi'leyii was wroni;fuily beheadesi : 
 Jane Seyinonr died in child-bed: 
 Anne of Cleves was arbitrarily divor- 
 ced; Catherirte Howard was somewhat 
 justly beheaded : and Catherine Parr 
 owed iitr escape more to her own 
 pi udcme and good fortune, than the 
 Immanity of her husband. By the 
 first of liie ladies Henry liad the prin- 
 cess Mary: by the second, the prin- 
 cess Elizabeth : an(j by the third, 
 Edward VI. who all three succeeded 
 to the throne. 
 
 The unfortunate Lady Jane Grey 
 was univir>aiiy allowed the most un- 
 common beauty of her age. She w as 
 the eldest daughter of th« duke of 
 Suffolk, by Frances lirandon ; who, 
 in the will of Henry the VIIL was 
 the next in succession after the prin- 
 cess Elizabeth ; but the will of Ed- 
 ward the VI. Lady Jane was ap- 
 j>oiiited his iinniediate successor. She 
 inariied the accomplished Dudley 
 Lord Guilford, fourth son of the aspir- 
 ing duke of Nortliumb'iland, whose 
 ambition brought on the destruction 
 of that amiable and excellent pair. 
 It was the duke who peisuaded the 
 king to appoint Lady Jane his succes* 
 sor : it was he who prevailed upon 
 ber to accept the regal dignitj : and 
 it was he who attempted to preserve 
 the crown for her by force of arms. 
 She was proclainifd queen in the six- 
 leenlh year of her age; but the prin- 
 cess Mary claimed the crown, and 
 won it, though she was a professed 
 papist, and lady Jane was a zealous 
 pioteslant. Northumberland was un- 
 successful, and lady Jane was dep.iv- 
 >(l of her royalty nine days after she 
 came to it. The duke was first be- 
 headed, theu iiis s'^u the Lord Guil-
 
 Tnfprest'niq Ndi'rafires^ Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry, <5i'P. 601 
 
 ford, ;»n(i -afterxvnvvls his anpa-iint'lecl 
 wife, \^ho was cuiy ej'jhtt'en years 
 f)I(<, the orii-iii'cnt of En'^'and, fi^; 
 re!ie<";i, bearuv, an<i leainiiisr. 
 
 The de;<(l« of ihis pcisictss \va% soon 
 fo!l<)«»<i bv iliat of anolher. Tlris 
 wa-. ilary qu<°c-n of Sco's, gr^ind- 
 d;>ni;httr to Janses llie IV. tind to 
 ^Mnrtinret, eluesi d«uf;hter of ilonry 
 the VII. by virtue of wiilc'' . riufn 
 lier sor^, Jame-. the I. Wt?<« rpcog!'i/cd 
 kin^ ')f Ensland, after the death of 
 Qufen Eizabeth, who bebfadeil the 
 mother, M ifv was daiiublcr to 
 James ihc V'. king of Scotl.ind, and 
 to Marv K\^ L-)rr;iia, eldest dau<,-!)ter 
 to Clau^Ie fuke of Guise, and widow 
 of Lewis (iuke of Longiieville. Sh.- 
 was m;iiried to Francis the U. kiiii.' 
 of France ; upun wliich occasion she 
 assumed the title of queen of Eng- 
 land ; preteiidini:; that ElizaljPlh was 
 illegiiimafe, ai)d unworthy to sit on 
 the tlirone. On the death of her 
 coo'^ort, Francis the II. in I5()), she 
 returned to Scotland, of whicli king- 
 dnni slie was queen, and c.sj)>;U5ed 
 Ihnry Stuart, Lord Darnley, son to 
 tlieearl of Lenox, wlio becane jealous 
 of some faniiharities between bis 
 queen and David Rizzo, the fainous 
 Itahan musiciau : bist Rizzo was 
 killed in her presence; after whicii 
 she became fond of llie earl of Both- 
 wel, who killed the Lord Darnley, 
 and married his queen, thou<rh she 
 had prince James by the former. The 
 Scotch lords drove Botluvel into ba- 
 nish mrnt, who lived very niiserably 
 iu Denmark ; while tiie earl of Mur- 
 ray assumed tlie supreme authorily, 
 in the name of I'riuce James ; and the 
 queen took refusje in England, w litre 
 Queen Elizabeth threw her into pri- 
 son, and kept her there eiyhlcen 
 years, when she brougiit her to a 
 trial, for being an 'accomplice in cer- 
 tain conspiracies formed against her 
 person; for which she was beheaded 
 on the 8th of Feb. 1.5S7, in Fotherin- 
 gay castle, in the forly-iixth year of 
 
 !»er age, though most of the prince^ 
 of Europe, evriployed verv earnest so" 
 iicif;;t!ons to prooiro h.er liberty. 
 
 Such are the illustrioiis ;i:;d unfor- 
 tun>'p beauties reprfsented in the an- 
 n.'ls of t!i=^ English l^istory, L'^-t their 
 e»;";nj>its serve es a mclanclioly less' n 
 to posterity, " Tliat bi;u'y has fre- 
 (jnentiy lost its foice ; and tli -t virtue 
 is the greatest nrnameiit that can 
 dignify a woman." 
 
 ' Enio^mat iral List of Precious Stones. 
 
 HALF a mark of loyalty, three- 
 ninths ')f a duel, and a consonant. 
 
 Three-sevenths to a lorn, half of 
 elegar.t, and one-tenth of victorious. 
 
 Two-fifths of an eatable root, one- 
 eight of a fsmous harbcur, and a 
 numerical letter. 
 
 Three- fifths of wisdom, 5 consonant 
 and half of a mercenary prostitute. 
 
 Two-sevenths of anguish, half to 
 <livif{e, and one-fourth of passionate 
 ardour. 
 
 Three-eighths of a secret agent, 
 changing a letter, a consonant, and 
 three-fifths of a tree. 
 
 Two-thirds of au herb, part of a 
 wager, and a vowel consonant . 
 
 Three-fourths of a fish, one-third 
 of a bird, and a near relation. 
 
 Haifa pulse, two-thirds of a grain, 
 and a liquid letter. 
 
 Tiiree-sevenths of a flower, a con- 
 sonant, and part of a verb to mistake. 
 
 Half an empiie, two-thirds of a 
 beast well known, and two-sixths of 
 a geomeJtical figure. 
 
 Three-fifths to correct, one-lhird 
 of a metal, hdlf a divine song, and 
 part of iiu animal's weapon. 
 
 To wipe hard, and a changeable 
 ietter. 
 
 Three-fifths of a goddess, and the 
 world. 
 
 ' Half lr!o.^lcntous and three-fifths 
 of a tree. 
 
 Two-sevenths of lovely, a vowel, a 
 !)ronoun, and two-fifihs of stubble. 
 4 li
 
 602 Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 A flouer. 
 
 Five-sevenths of a store-house for 
 corn, a coiisor.iiiit, and a vowel. 
 
 Thrcf-sevenJhs of a clowii, a con- 
 sonant, ami a numerical letter. 
 
 flaif a pretty sl.rub, and half for- 
 lorn. 
 
 A j>!ay-Jhiiig for boys, a vowel, and 
 Ihe last ItKer of the xlpiiabet. 
 
 To inter, changing a vowel, and 
 a numerical lelttr. 
 
 Spins:;. Extract of a Ldier from 
 New York, dated Marcti 30, 1786'. 
 
 THERE is a curiosity in Virgiiua, 
 wliich seems iinpaialleled any where. 
 In the county of Fincastle, tliere is a 
 small running wafer or spring, pos- 
 sessed of a quality that cannot be 
 defined, (though supposed to be mi- 
 neral water, strongly injpregnated 
 with sulphur, or some other thing) 
 however, by snapping the pan of a 
 pistol^ or tinder-box, with a little 
 gunpowder, the water will instant^ 
 catch fire, and burn in (he same man- 
 ner as spirits would, until the water 
 is entJiely consumed or dried up, 
 when the channel, which is common 
 earlh, is left as ashes. Tlie water 
 continues burning, when such experi- 
 ments are tritd for two or three days 
 before tlie whole is onsumed, tliere 
 being no more wjifer left to feed the 
 flames; the spring bubbles out from 
 the crevices of the earth as usual, and 
 and in the space of half an hour, the 
 current goes on as formerly. 
 
 Superstition. 
 
 AT Gnas, a town in the Lower 
 Syria, in tiie jurisdirtion of Gleichen- 
 betg, one Charron, a wid«vver, hud 
 a daughter arrived to years of ma- 
 turity, and the young womnu tran- 
 sported to thp n)o^t extravagant de- 
 gree of suptrstilion and fanaticism, 
 imagined that she could have no 
 liopts of salvation, unless she purified 
 
 herself by fire. She communicated 
 her intention to her father, who being 
 equally superstitious, approved of her 
 design, and even promised to assist 
 her in carrying it into execution. — 
 All Saint's day was the time appointed 
 for carrying this abominable project 
 into effect. On t.he preceding evening, 
 the girl herself placed several faggots 
 in the oven ; when divine service be- 
 gun next day, the miserable self- 
 devoted victim set tire to the faggots ; 
 and when the oven was red hot, with 
 fhe assistance of her tather, she en- 
 tered the fiery apartment, the door 
 of wliich the father closed, and hav- 
 ing stopped up the vacancies with 
 clay, tempered with water, placed a 
 crucifix before the oven, and then 
 went out of the house with every ap- 
 pearance of tranquillity and satisfac- 
 tion, having told some persons whom 
 he met that inis daughter was doing 
 penance in the heated oven'; they 
 hastened to her assistance, but before 
 their arrival the body was entirely 
 consumed. The father was appre- 
 hended and conducted to Gleichen- 
 berg, where he has undergone an e.\a- 
 mination. 
 
 Morning Chron. 1780. 
 
 Storm. — Extract of a Letter, dated 
 August iitfi, l7S5,fom Bourdeavx. 
 
 ON Tuesday the 2d instant, be- 
 tween six and seven o'clock in the 
 evening, we had liere the most 
 drradiiil and uniieard of storm of 
 hail, the stones of which, by their 
 size and number, nrake the event 
 unprecedented ;'lielaigt'sl were equal 
 in bigness to a hen's egg, and the 
 smallest to a small nut; a few of the 
 former had been picked up, ani found 
 to weigh a full p«)und ; the hail con- 
 tinued pouring for above filtcen mi- 
 nutes, during which time the roofs 
 of several houses were broken in, and 
 t!ie mark of the largest ston«s were 
 imprinted on Uie walls. By this
 
 Interesting Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetry^ S^c. 60^ 
 
 fatal accHent, the \iney'ards witliin 
 fifteen miles about the city have been 
 entirely destroyefl, and the damage 
 is computed at 20,000 tons of wine. 
 Universal Magazine. 
 
 Pestilence. 
 
 THERE was a pestilence in 134.S, 
 that went over the whole world. — 
 Guido who lived at that time, gives 
 the following description of this pla- 
 gue : — He .says, it beijan in the East 
 and went over the whole earth, and 
 carried ofFthc fourth part of mankind. 
 It raa;ed for seven months at Avig- 
 non, where Guido lived, and was of 
 two species. The first began with a 
 violent fever and spitting of blond, 
 and not one sjirvived that was seized 
 with it, but died in three days. The 
 other begfUi with a continued fever, 
 with refl spots, and abscesses under 
 the arms, *>r in (tje arm-pits; it was 
 equally mortal with tlie former, and 
 those who were seized with it, died 
 in three days. 
 
 Murray^ s Lectures, No. 19. 
 
 Punishmen I. 
 
 ■ THE knute is a most barbarous 
 punishment in Russia : Oiearious gives 
 a descri|)tii)n of tiie manner in which 
 he saw it inPiicfed on ei;:ht men and 
 one woman, only for selling brandy 
 and tobacco witliout a licence. The 
 executioner's iijan, afier strippi.'ie 
 them down to the waist, tied their 
 f«et, and took one at a time on his 
 back. Tile executioner stood at 
 three paces distmce with a large 
 pizzle, to the end of which were fas- 
 tened three thongs of an elk's skin 
 untanned, with which, springing for- 
 ward, whenever he ^trutk tjie blood 
 gushed out at every blow. The men 
 had each twenty- Hve or tvvenJy-six 
 lasiies: the woman, thongi' only six- 
 teen, fainted away. After their backs 
 were thus dreadful !y luuogled, they 
 
 were tied togeth;r two ;uid two ; and 
 and those who sold tobacco having a 
 little of it, and those who sold brandy 
 a little buttle put about their necks ; 
 they nere then whipped through the 
 city of Petersburgh for about a mile 
 and a half; and then brought back 
 to the place of tlicii first punishment 
 and dismissed. According to M. de la 
 iMolreye,this is^what is termed the mo- 
 derate knute; for when the sentence 
 orders it between the moderate and 
 severe, the executioner takes olf pieces 
 of fiesii at every stroke; and when it 
 is ordered to be given with the utmost 
 severity, the executioner striking the 
 flank uiiderthe ribs, cuts the fiesh to 
 the very bowels. It is no wond- r that 
 many die r f this cruel and inhuman 
 punishment. 
 
 Newbury's Account of Russia. 
 
 An Enigmatical List of Arts and 
 Sciences. 
 
 .\ VESSEL often seen at sea, onilt- 
 tiiig a vawei and an adjective. 
 
 What we daily see, and the mobt 
 useful animal dbout. 
 
 A liquid letter, the first letter of 
 one of the elemenis, and half a pro- 
 noun. 
 
 One half t;f to {sart, two preposi- 
 tions, 2nd oiK-third of yourself. 
 
 I'hree-fifths of a lu-ti'us fruit, a 
 consonaat, and a plantt XMiiiting the 
 last letter* 
 
 Anecdote of the Bat He ef Malplaquct . 
 
 A YOUNG Swiss recruit, wiio, 
 iviien his regimental!' were making, 
 iiad procured a round iron plate, 
 Ifored willi small holes, which he 
 desired ti.e taxlur to fasten on the 
 inside of his coat about his left breast, 
 to prevL-nt his being shot tiirough the 
 heart ; the tayior being a huinorotia 
 fellow, fastened it in the seat of his 
 breeches: the clothes being scarce 
 on liis back, when he wus oidertd lo 
 An 2
 
 OOi Literartf CuriosiHes, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 inarch in!o the fwUl; he had no 
 oppoFluiiity lo get this awkward mis- 
 take rectified, before he found bim- 
 seif eiig:-ji:«i i:i bailie, biid bt^ing 
 obli^d to fly before the esKtr.v, iu 
 ei;cieavo!ui(i|i; to get over a Ihoni 
 hedj^e is: his way, he ujifortunalel^ 
 stiiok fa^t, uiUii he was overtaken by 
 a foe, who, tiii connn^ up, gave him 
 a push on the breech with his bayonet 
 (with no friendly desiiin) but it luckilv 
 bit him on the iron piste, and puslied 
 the young ^oldier clear out of t!ie 
 the hedge; tins fuvouruGb circum- 
 stance niade lixe Suias houesU) con- 
 fess, :hal (he tayioir had unnt s?i-se 
 than hiin:)c!f, and kue.v belier wijer^; 
 Ills hesit lay. 
 Caledonian Magazine, Perth, S^pt. 5, 1783. 
 
 An Account of a FamVp at Waiiis- 
 ham, who were lotrii/ unacted ivi'Ji 
 the Loss cj their Limhs. — t'LbfL/i 
 ed by Dr. irallanton, of Sury, in 
 SvJvlL 
 
 JOHN DOWNING, a poor la- 
 bouring man, nvine: ^i VVatlisham, 
 had a ui/e ;iiid six chitdien, the eklest 
 a f^irl of fttleen years cf age, the 
 youngest about four months. They 
 were all lliat time very healthy, and 
 one of them Isad been ill for snnie 
 lime before. On Sunday the lOtii 
 o} January, i702, the eldest yjrl com- 
 phtineiJ, in the morning, of a pain in 
 lier leg, particularly in ihe calf of her 
 leg ; towards evening tne pain grew 
 exceedingly violent. The same even- 
 ing, another girl compUiined of the 
 same violent pain iu the same leg. 
 On the Monday, the mother and ano- 
 ther child ; and on Tuesday, all tiie 
 rest of (lie f-tmily were afflicted ir. the 
 same ruanuer, some in one leg and 
 some in both legs. The little infant 
 was taken from the nsother's breast ; 
 it seemed ti) be in pain, but the limbs 
 <hd iiot mortify : it lived a few wt-tks 
 The niotiier and the other hve clni- 
 rirca continued in violent pain a consi- 
 
 il 
 
 derable time. In about four or five 
 days, the diseased le<r b< gan to turn 
 black g;adu;diy, appearing at first co- 
 vered with blue spots, as if it had been 
 bruised. I'he other leg of those who 
 vvj.ie afftcted at first only in one leg 
 about that time was also affected witii 
 the same excruciating pain, and in a 
 few days the leg als-; began to morti- 
 fy. The mortified parts separated 
 gradually from the sound parts, and 
 the surgeon had, in most of the cases, 
 no other trouble that to cut through 
 the bone, which was b'ack and almost 
 i!ry.' The state of their limbs were 
 thus: Mary, the mother, aged 40 
 years, has lost the right foot at the 
 anci« ; the left foot is also off, and 
 t!ie two bones of the leg remain 
 iiliaost dry, whh only some little pu-» 
 Irid flesh ROheriog in the same places. 
 T'.e ifeah is sound to about two 
 inches below the knee. The bones 
 wouhl have been sawn through that 
 place, if iiie would have consented 
 to it. 
 
 IMary, z^ed fifteen ye^r?, both legs 
 oh tjeiow ihe Ivnees. — E!';!'ib;:tl;, aged 
 thirteen years, both legs ofi bduw the 
 knees. Sarah aged ten y^ars, one foot 
 off at tlij ajirle : ilie other foo? was 
 atitcted, but not in so gr« at a deiiree, 
 and is now sound aj^ain. — Robert, 
 aged eigiit, both legs off below the 
 knees, — Edward, aged four years, 
 l.oih feet off. — An infant;, fournionths 
 old, dead." 
 
 The father was attacked about a 
 fortnight aftc! t'le rest of the fandly, 
 and in a slight degree ; tiie pain be- 
 ing confined to his fingers. Two 
 fingers of the right-hand continued 
 for a lonj; lime (iiscolourcd, and 
 partly sliruuk and contracted ; but he 
 lias since ha(i some use of them. — 
 The nails o( the other iiarid were also 
 discoloured ; he lost two of them. 
 
 It is reniarkable, that during all 
 the time of this misfortune, Ihe ^\hole 
 family are said to liavc a|)peared well, 
 iu oiler respects, ate heartily, aii^
 
 Literestini/ Narratives, Enigmas, Epigrams, Poetri/, Si'c. 605 
 
 -slept well, when the violence of tiit 
 {)am began to abate. The mother vvav 
 quite emaciated, and had ver\ litle use 
 of her hands. The ekiest :.'irl had ;•. 
 superticial ulcer in one thi<.di. Th«' 
 rest of the famii)' were prelty weiL 
 The stumps of some of them peifeclK 
 healed. 
 
 Annual Register, l'6i. 
 
 Enigmatical List of Squares in 
 London, 
 
 THE title given t<» our Saviour'; 
 apostles, a juan's christian name, ami 
 a ser|)entiiie letter. 
 
 Half a fish, and two-thirds of <> 
 tool used by gardeners. 
 
 A consonant, encities used by wea- 
 vers, and what people do with the 
 dead. 
 
 What was reckoned the best age 
 to live in. 
 
 An electorate, famous for the birth 
 of a late noble personaj;e. 
 
 Crudty. 
 
 IN a monastery, near Ailworth, a 
 monk bein,'; tired of kis conhnenienl, 
 endeavoured to get releastd, but 
 tiuding he cou'd not, was exasperated 
 to such a degree, as to threaten to 
 burn tiie pl?,ce dn-.yn; of which the 
 prior beiu;j informed, confined him i/i 
 a cell, so small, thatt he couid scarce 
 lie down or turn himself round, where 
 fee uas fed on brend and water ^or 
 tiie space of thirty si?^ years ; and 
 when he grew weak or sici:, they took 
 him out and adininistered nuuii.-hrnent 
 and cordials, uritil be was recovered, 
 when he was sent bach to his forrsier 
 habitajicn A l.idy, who lived near, 
 happeued to hear the groans of some 
 liuman being, upon which, she sen! to 
 the n)onastery, and enquijed into tin 
 reason and was told the above, then 
 she iutercL'ded for his rcitasement, 
 but the releuiless fafher uouid n«i 
 con)ply : upon which she sent to the 
 
 parliament at Paris, representing his 
 rase, who sent an order for his being 
 released ; on beinu a^ked iiow ion" 
 lie hiid been roniined, he replied a 
 iiundred years : they showed him an 
 almaiicick, and asked him if he could 
 explain it, .which he did, by which, 
 and several questions asked him, it 
 was calculated that he had been con- 
 Hued in that dark duhgeon as Ion" as 
 the before-mertioiied time. 
 
 Public Lcdyer, May, 17S^ 
 
 Mortijication. 
 AN old man in the county of Dur- 
 hanj, who had for two years languish- 
 ed under a mortification of his f.et 
 •^nd 'egs, and by which he lost two 
 of his toes, was advised by a friend 
 t'> eat pieiitifully of honey : this he 
 did, to the quantity of ei-;ht or nine 
 pounds a week, and found to his 
 ,ureat surprise in about six montiis, 
 that his legs had gained their wonted 
 sJrength and lirmncss, and that the 
 mortihca!i(in had ertircly ceased. He 
 is now able to wear boots and follow 
 his usual business. 
 
 York Chronicle, April T, 17SS, 
 
 An Account of a remQrIcable Family 
 at Hastings, in Sussex, of the name 
 of Browne, 
 
 THE fiither of this exfraofdinarv 
 family was 108 years (dd. He buried 
 his wife some years ago at the aije of 
 08, by whom he had I went % -for r 
 children, all twins ; sixteen *•( these 
 •.^ere M>ns, and the rest dauijhlers. 
 Twenty-two of his children lived at 
 'iorne with him. The father measured 
 six feet two inehe^ high; and was with- 
 id lusty. Noluilhs.tandiiig his great 
 •tge, he rode from Iia>lings to London 
 kvitich is 63 nnies, in one day, UDon a 
 i>orse tiiat he kept fir his o\vn ridin.r 
 !or twenty years pa^t. Tiie father 
 lived a life of intemperance for fiftv 
 years, having scarcely ever gon,e lo 
 bed sob'er, undone son foiicued his
 
 606 lAterarxj Curiosities^ Epitaphs^ IVonderful E vents , 
 
 steps, and for fifteen years was not 
 free from inloxicatioii in the evening 
 The faUivr always latou^'ht his children 
 up to intliiitr) ; and if he found ony 
 of t'lem averse to work lie gent tiieni 
 to sea. There were two of thenj of 
 this disposilicn, whom he sent on 
 b(<jrd the Royal George, which was 
 lost; but they wt-re both preserved 
 by swimming upon a phink. The 
 yonrigest of tlie twenty four children 
 v.as aj)ward.') of fifty yeas? of age : \w 
 was married to a woman by w!;oni lie 
 had ei^ht children, \\ho were likewise 
 all twins; hat, who, x^itii his \m\U, 
 died wilhin the space of five years. 
 
 Town and Country Mag, July TrST. 
 
 Epitaph on Edward Ileardfton, ThMij 
 I'cars Cook to the Beaf-Steak Society. 
 
 HIS Fast *<cn/c done ; his fire rakd out and 
 
 dead, 
 Dish'd for the worms himself, lies Iionesi 
 
 Ned; 
 fVe, then, whose breasts t)ore all liis^e.sAj; 
 
 toils. 
 Took all bis basti'iigs, and shar'd all his 
 
 broils ; 
 Now, ia our turn, a mouthjul carve and 
 
 trim, 
 And dress, at Phoebus' fire, one scrap for 
 
 him- 
 
 H?s heart, which well might grace the 
 nodlest grave, 
 
 Was grateful, patient, modest, just, and 
 brave; 
 
 And ne'er did earth's wide maw a morsel 
 gaiu, 
 
 Ofkindcr juices, or more tender grain; 
 
 Mis toaffue, where duteous friendship hum- 
 bly dwel(, 
 
 Charm'd all who heard the faithful zeal he 
 felt; 
 
 Still, to '^hate'ver end his chopt he mov'd. 
 
 'Twas all trcll-season'd, reiisli'd, and ap- 
 prov'd ; 
 
 This room bis heav'n! — When threatning 
 fa(o drew nitjh 
 
 The closing shade that dimm'd hisling'rjng 
 eye, 
 
 His last fond hopes, befraj'd by many a 
 tear, 
 
 Were — That his life's last sjJorA- might glim- 
 mer here, 
 
 And (he last words thai chcak'd his part- 
 ing (-igli 
 
 •< Oh ! at your feet, dear Ma.terS} let me 
 *• die !-' 
 
 Epitaph on Mr. Coombe, a Gentleman ia 
 ^Warwickshire, and noted for practisi^ng 
 
 V^ury. 
 
 T-.N ill the hundred lies here engrav'd, 
 ' lis an hundred to ten his soul is not sav'd : 
 il'asiy man ask who lies in this tomb, 
 Oh! oh! qno'h the devfi, 'tis my-Joha 
 o' Coombe. 
 
 Epitaph on Tom a Coombe, alias Thin 
 Heard, Brotliei- to Ihe last mentioned, 
 
 THT\ in beard, and thick in purse. 
 Never inan beloved worse. 
 He went to the grave with inAuy a curse, 
 The devil and Le had botn oae nurse. 
 
 Epitaph on. a favorite Monkey. 
 
 FAREWELL, poor mimic pug! depriv'd 
 
 of breath, 
 Epitome of man, in person — actions — 
 
 death; 
 Like him, too, from thy nation wert thoa' 
 
 torn , 
 4nJ o'er the vast abyss of ocean borne; 
 Hut !iot like him <o slav'ry wert (hou led, 
 Thy hours were gay, and swest thy daily 
 
 bread ; 
 The loveliest maids from barm thy days 
 
 kept free, 
 By tniant boys more monkey lilse than 
 
 thee; 
 They stsew'd thy path with flowers— ^but 
 
 now thy bier 
 They deck with y»^v, and drop the tender 
 
 tear 
 Thy tricks ; thy fun ; thy arch grimace ; 
 
 are flown, 
 Hnt this, thy honour'd grave, shall make 
 
 thy talents known. 
 
 A reasonable Affiiction. 
 
 ON his death-bed poor lubin lies; 
 
 His spouse is in desi)air : 
 With frequent sobs, and mutual cries, 
 
 They both express their care. 
 
 A difT'renl cause, says Parsea Sly, 
 The same eilect may give : 
 
 Poor Lubin Aars, tiiiit he shall die ; 
 His wife, that he may live.5 
 
 Epitaph upon a valiant Portuguese Soldier 
 called Simon Anlom. 
 
 SCOURGE of Castile, here Simon Antom 
 
 lies, 
 Who, whilealive, did thousands sacrifice ;^ 
 Ar.ii even dead, his ashes stem to say, 
 Cnneou; coni€ en, us many us there may.
 
 Interesting Narratues^ FMigmas, Epigrams^ Poetnjy S^c. 607 
 
 A singular Fact. 
 
 IN a town near Chorley, resided 
 a young lady, amiable ii) her person 
 and manners, and esteemed by all 
 who kad the happiness of her ac- 
 quaintance. A young gentleman, whe 
 resided in ihe same town, saw her; — 
 he loved her : 
 
 * By no uncommon care opprest, 
 
 He did not labour to conceal 
 The genfJest passion of the breast, 
 
 Which all cau feign, bnt few can feel.'' 
 
 He imparted to the fair object of 
 his wishes the favourable impression 
 she had made on his heart; she ac- 
 knowledged her partiality for him, and 
 returned *' love for love," The youns 
 j;ent!eman was a votary of science; 
 he found himself soon called on to 
 t]uit the presence of his admired fair 
 one, and pursue the path of learning. 
 They parted, but not without exchang- 
 ing vows of lasting fidelity. 
 
 Soon after, the }oung student left 
 town, a second admirer presented 
 himself, soliciting the young lady's 
 hand, and favourable opinion; but, 
 alas! for him: — he told the tender 
 tale of love in vain; the lady had but 
 one heart to dispose of, she had 
 pledged her affections to another. The 
 old saying, however, that 
 
 " Love unreturn'd soon dies," 
 
 did not prove true in the present case. 
 The young gentleman was determined 
 to supplant her first lover, by the 
 vilest means. For this purpose, he 
 forged a letter, and sent to the lady, 
 as fronj the man who had vowed kj 
 her eternal fidelity, infwrrjing her that 
 he had changed his sentiments en- 
 tirely ; that she was at liberty to make 
 another choice; and concluded bv 
 wishing her Uappy in the arms of some 
 other person. The artifice apparently 
 succeedeil. The lady was so provoked 
 that she inslMiiily jijave her consent to 
 bestow her hand on her ?econd ad- 
 mirer. The matter w;!s soon agreed 
 on, the weddiiiL^ night was fi.\ed, the 
 
 company invited, and one half hour 
 more would have joined them in the 
 bonds of matrimony — when, behold! 
 at this critical moment, the first lover 
 arrived in town, stopped at the house 
 of a friend, who informed him that, 
 ■ n consequence of the letter he had 
 sent to the lady to whom he formerly 
 paid his addressee, she was that night. 
 to be married to another. Astonish- 
 ment seized hirn, he avowed his inno- 
 cence, declared the letter a forgery, 
 and begged the gentleman to set off 
 iminediately, and prevent the mar- 
 riage, if possible. The gentleman 
 arrived just as the parties were pre- 
 paring to join hands; he requested 
 to speak with the lady a moment iu 
 the next room; he acquainted her 
 with the circumstances of the impo- 
 sition, and that her first and sincere 
 lover was then just at hand : an eclair- 
 cis^ement took place, her real lover 
 handed h-^r into a chaise w hich stood 
 waiting at the door, and immediatelv 
 rode off to a friend's hou>e in a neigh- 
 bouring town, where the lady was kept 
 concealed. 'I'he intended bridegroom, 
 and the company, after waiting im- 
 patiently for sojjiie lime, at length 
 sought after the lady; bnt " the bird 
 was flown." After fruitless search, 
 the company dispersed, to the great 
 mortification of the intended bride- 
 groom. The young student, after 
 finishing his studies at the University, 
 returned, and mairied the lady, who 
 had lull possession of his heart, and 
 a pleasing scene of connubial happi- 
 ness ensued. 
 
 IhimanUy of t'le Czar, Feter ihe 
 Great. 
 
 WHEN he o)dercd public execu- 
 tion-i, he was frequently seen to weep. 
 Miss Hanibleton, a majd of honour 
 to the Empress Catherine, hud ua 
 amour, which at ditTerent times pro- 
 Ldticed three cti;idren. She had always 
 'pleaded illness, but Peter suspecting
 
 ^OS Literary Curiosities, Epitaphs^ Wondeiifid Events^ 
 
 the ca^e, ordered his physicians to at- 
 tend her, who goon discovered the 
 real stale of the case. It was like- 
 wise discovered, that a sense of shame 
 had got the l)elter of her humanity, 
 s(» that the childien had been pvii to 
 death as soon as ihey wcie bom. The 
 emperor enquired if ihe lather of them 
 was piivy to the murder, but \\\i mo- 
 ther insisted that he was innocenf, she 
 having always deceived him by pre- 
 tendin2 they were sent <o nurse. Jus- 
 tice now called on the emperor to 
 punish the offence. The hidv wa- 
 gieatly beloved by the empiess, who 
 pleaded for her; but ihoush the amoui 
 might have been pardonable, the mur- 
 der could not be so. Peter sent her 
 to the castle, and visited her in per- 
 son. The tact being confes'icd, he 
 pionounred her sentence with tears, 
 and t(/ld her that his duty as a prince, 
 and God's vicegerent, called on him 
 for that justice whiv.h was liue to her 
 crime, and iheiefore she must prepare 
 for death. He likev\isc attended he; 
 on the scafibld, where he embraced 
 her with tenderness mised with sor- 
 row ; and some have asserted, thai 
 when her head was struck ofi", he tO(;lv 
 ii npi aiui kissed her li})s. K.xtraor- 
 dinary as this circumstance may ap- 
 pear, it may very well be credited of 
 so extraordinary a man as Peter the 
 Great. 
 
 Court and City Ulagazine, 1772. 
 
 Epitaph. — IJcnry the Seventh^ s Chapel, 
 !f<ont]i Cross, fVestmimter Jbbcy. 
 
 THOMAS PARR, of the county of Sa- 
 lop, tiorn in J-!8!): he lived in the rcig^n of 
 ten prio'es, viz. Kiii<r Edvvyrd IV. Ed- 
 wp.rd V'. Rich. 111. Ht-iuy VU.ilVsuy Vlll. 
 Edward VI. Queen Pilary, EiizaLeih, King 
 Jan-.es, and King C'h;irles: died agj-d li>i 
 years, and was biiritd Lere Xoveocber 1511!, 
 Je35. 
 
 A very remarkable circumstance of this 
 old man is. ll;at at the age of 130, a pro- 
 sedition was entoref! against hiui iu ilie 
 spiritual court for bastardy, and wilh sucti 
 tir^^rl, that t.e did penance jiublicly in the 
 diiircb fcr Hiat ofiVnce. 
 
 yinecdote. 
 
 A GENTLEMAN in conversation 
 \vith his friend, remarked to him that 
 a third person had taken great liber- 
 ties, in his al)sence, such as describing 
 him to be a man of most rvuie, un- 
 polished manners. The friend re- 
 plied, "he hoped he had taken his 
 part at the time;" he assured him he 
 had, but further observed " that the 
 calumniating party said he was n<5t 
 fit to carry guts to a bear " " Yoii 
 ciiutradicted that, I hope," replied 
 the other ; " I did," says he, " I told 
 him \ou were !' 
 
 The Force of Nature. 
 
 AN elderly French lady, retired 
 to her country sent, had only one 
 child, a S'ln, who was a handsome 
 young man, very much adiiicted to 
 gaining, and had lo<-t, at one sitting, 
 no less than forty thousand pounds. 
 Destitute, at length, of oiher means 
 to live, he associalpd with a company 
 of strolling coinediajis, who, as it hap- 
 pened, passed a short time at Worces- 
 ter, near which town was the old 
 lady s residence. After sustaining a 
 few characters, the young actor was 
 discovered, and the circum'-tance im- 
 parted to the mother. Though highly 
 displca-ed with her son, she could not 
 resist a \^i-h to see him, and for this 
 piij^jose vent incog, to the theatre. 
 The Gamester was the piny, and the 
 young man supported the principal 
 character. During the recital of those 
 [lassages which bore a resemblance to 
 her son's bad conduct, the picture 
 worked so forcibly on her feelings, 
 that she exclsimed aloud, '* Aye, 
 there he is! — the beggar! the scoun- 
 drel! Always the same ! No change- 
 ling!" The delusion grew so strong 
 in the fifth act, where Beverley lifrs 
 up hJs hand to kill the child, that the 
 old lady, in a tone of voice the most 
 distressifig, cried out " Wretch that 
 thou art, don't kill the child! — 1 will 
 1 lake it home with me !"
 
 Interesting Narratires, Evinmns^ Epigrams, Poefnj, 8^c. 609 
 
 Curious Mnnorlal of a wry singular 
 Feat of Activity. 
 
 IN the (hancel of tlie church of 
 Walton U|ion Thames, a very curious 
 monument is preserved, which con- 
 sists of severHl plates naileil up aoain>-t 
 the south wall. Two of them repre- 
 sent a man tiding upon a sta^. The 
 others canlaiii his wife, children, atv* 
 epitHph. '1 hat ihev were once laid 
 over a grave-^tone i•^ evident, but in 
 what part <if the cliurch, is not known, 
 neither at what time, or on what oc- 
 casion they were taken up. Ihcy I 
 were, however, for a long time loose, 
 and kept in the ve-itry. 
 
 An ancient sexton, many years 
 ago, explained the figures engraved 
 thereon, iiy the following traditionary 
 story, whick though s' range, appears, 
 from the concurrent testimonv of tht- 
 inoiiument, not to be without foun- 
 dation. 
 
 John Selv\ n, the person represented 
 with his wife and chihireii, and also 
 riding on the stag, was, as appears by 
 the inscription, undi-r-keeper of the 
 paik of Oatlands in Surry, in the 
 reijgn of Queen Elizabeth. 
 
 This man wa«, according to the 
 before-named historian, extremely fa- 
 mous for his strength, aizilily and skiM 
 in horsemanship, sp(^ciniens of all 
 which he e.shibited before the queen, 
 Ht a grand staij-hunt in that park, 
 Where attending, as was the duty of 
 his office, he in the heat of the chace 
 suddenly leaped from his horse upon 
 the back of ihc sta?, both runninu at 
 the same time wiih their utmost spi ed, 
 and not only kept his seal griicefully, 
 in spite of eveiy effoit of the a(- 
 fiigbted beast, but drawing his sword, 
 w;tli it guided him towar<ls the queen, 
 and coming near her presence, plunutd 
 it in liis throat, so that the animal fell 
 dead at her f<;el. '1 tiis wa* thouiiht 
 sufficiently wonderful to be ciironicled 
 on hi^ moiiumenl, am! he is accoid- 
 ingly pourtrayed in the act of stab- 
 biiK4 the bca^t. 
 
 The Faro Table. 
 
 SOME years ago, a stranger, 
 dressed ,in a ulain citizen'- aitiie, t(;ok 
 his seat at the Faro Table, at Ai\-la- 
 Chapelie. when the bank was pro- 
 claimed more than commotdy rich. 
 After having some little time en;ii>;ed 
 in the common play of the tabl'^, he 
 challeog'd the bink, and tossed his 
 pocket book to the banker, that he 
 Jiiiiiht not cpieslion his aljility of pay- 
 ment in ca e he lo«t. The banker, 
 *ur;'rised at' the boidnes^ of the ad- 
 venturer, ^ud no less so at his ordi- 
 nary a(>pearance, at first hesitated to 
 accept of tlie. challenge; I'Ut on open- 
 ing the book, and seeing bills to a pro- 
 digious amount, and on the stranger's 
 sternly -nvi repeatedly insisting on his 
 comobance with the laws of the !z;i;ne. 
 With much reluctance he piepared the 
 Cards for the ;:reat event. The snr- 
 prize was naiurjilly great, and all eyes 
 aitentive to the trembling han.is of 
 the affrighted banker, who, while the 
 stranger sat unruffled and uncon- 
 cerned, turned up l!ie card whicli de- 
 fided his ruin and the other's success. 
 T be table was of course immediately 
 broken up, and the stranger in tri- 
 umph, with j)erfect coolness and se- 
 "iiity of features, turned to a person 
 whu -tood at his elbow, to whom he 
 'i !ve oiders to take charoe of the mo- 
 iiev. "Heavens!" exclaimed an eld 
 iufiim officer, in the Austrian service, 
 and who had sat nest to him it the 
 table, " if I had the twentieth part 
 d your success this night, I should 
 'a- the haiipiest n\an in the universe." 
 ■ If thou woiildst be this luippy )nan," 
 eplied the stranger, briskly, " then 
 hou shalt have it;'' and, without 
 vvatmg for a reply, di<ap|ieared Irom 
 'iieioom. Some little time afterwards, 
 lie entrance of a servant astoni-lied 
 he company with the extraordinary 
 :;eneri)sity of the stianger, as wiib his 
 lecnliar good lorlune, by prescnlin;j' 
 he Austrian olhcer with the twen- 
 leth part of the Faro Bank. " Take 
 4 I
 
 610 Literary CuriositieSy EpUapJi.s, Wonderful Events, 
 
 this. Sir," said the servant, " my 
 master requires no answer," and he 
 sudden')' left him without exchanging 
 another word. The next morning it 
 was rumoured at Aix-la-Chapelle that 
 the king of Prussia had entered the 
 town in disguise ; and on the recol- 
 lection of his person, the town soon 
 recognized him to be the successful 
 stranger at the Faro Table. 
 
 Instance of Ingratitude. 
 
 IN the year \7^9i one Rossiter, a 
 young Irishman, came to Ltghorn in 
 search of adventures, with no other 
 recommendation than the deportment 
 of a gentleman, added to a fine figure 
 and countenance. Soon after his ar- 
 rival, a lady, whose personal property 
 vas considerable, saw, and became 
 violently enamoured of him; which 
 was soon succeeded by a direct pro- 
 posal on her part (no uncommon thing 
 in Italy) to live with her. As he had 
 been previously informed of her cir- 
 cumstances, and was pleased with her 
 person, he >mmediatcly closed with 
 the offer, and they, in consequence, 
 resided together in all the warmth of 
 love, and intimacy of marriage. 
 
 Her passion for him had, at first, 
 prompted her to disregard the com- 
 mon law of modesty ; after cohabi- 
 tation it grew to such excess, as to 
 trample on all prudence; for not sa- 
 tisfied with having purcha'^ed a lieu- 
 tenancy for him in the Tuscan army, 
 she anticipated his every wii-h, more 
 than ^llpported his profusion, and on 
 being obliged to visit her relations in 
 a distant part of Italy, entrusted him 
 in her ab>ence with her jewels, her 
 nione}', and, in short, every thing she 
 owned. Can you suppose that a man 
 &o cheiisheci. and so relied on, could 
 betray a contulence of this nature! 
 shou.d you wonder at it, how much 
 greater will be your suipiisc, when I 
 lell you, that he not only robbed her 
 •f lier property, but «f her life. 
 
 ' She returned to Leghorn soi)ner 
 than she had intended, being pregnant 
 by this monster, who received her 
 with every mark of unaltered affec- 
 tion ; but that same night muldered 
 her in the very bed-chamber that had 
 so often been the guilty scene of her 
 weakness and affection; a place that 
 should, of all others, have been in« 
 violable. The deed was soon disco- 
 vered, and Rossiter was apprehended, 
 judged, and condemned to the galiies 
 for life. 
 
 Previously to the execution of this 
 sentence, he was led out before the 
 troops of the garrison, when his sword 
 was broken over his head, his uniform 
 stripped from him, for the coarse habit 
 of a galley slave; and thus, with a 
 halter about his neck, was he deli- 
 vered over to his punishment, under 
 every mark of degradation and in- 
 Aimy. Yet even this wretch, thus 
 stigmatized, could create affection in 
 the female sex, who took evciy oppor- 
 tunity of supplying him with food; 
 and one, a woman of condition, ex- 
 erted all her interest to obtain his re- 
 lease, for the purpose (it is said) of 
 marrying him ; but the good Leopold 
 rejected the petition with horror, de- 
 claring he should look upon that man 
 as a disgrace to his court, who could 
 intercede on so wicked an occasion. 
 How more than brutal was the affec- 
 tion that could attach itself to such a 
 monster as Rossiter! 
 
 Military Anecdote^ 
 
 A GERI\L\N peasant, newly en- 
 listed in the army, was scarcely ar- 
 rived at the regiment, when he was 
 sent with others upon a skirmishing 
 party ; and a|'|)roaching a wood from 
 whence the musket-balls flew pretty 
 thick, he stepped out of his rank, and 
 making a sign to the enemy to desist, 
 Ht the same time exclaimed " \Vhy, 
 \hat the devil are you about, don't 
 you see there are people a-cominj."
 
 Interesting Narratives^ Enigmas, Epigrams^ Voetrij^ ^c. 611 
 
 Instance of Ingratitude, in Richard 
 the Second's Gre>/hound. Trans 
 luted from Foiasuct, by Sir John 
 Souchier, Lord Btrners. 
 
 AND, as it was infourmed me, 
 Kyng Richarde had a grayhniinde 
 called Methe, who al\va\s waited upon 
 the kynge, and would know no man 
 els. For when soever the kynge dvd 
 ryd?, he that kept the grayliound dyd 
 lette hym lose, and he wolde streyght 
 runne to the kynge and faune uppon 
 1)3111, and leape with his fore fete 
 uppon the kynge's shoulders. Ami 
 as the kynge and the Erie of Derby 
 talked togedder in the courte, the 
 grayhounde, who was wont to leape 
 uppon the kynge, left the kyi;ge and 
 came to the Duke of Lancastre, and 
 to him the same friendly continua 
 and chere, as he was wont to do to 
 the k3nge. The duke, who knew not 
 the grayhounde, deraaynded of the 
 kynge what the grayhounde wolde do. 
 *' Cousin," quod the kynge, " il is a 
 great good token to you, and an evyl 
 sygne to me." " Sir, how knowe 
 you that," quod the duke — " 1 knowe 
 it well," quod the kynge, " the gray- 
 hounde mcket )ou here this daye as 
 Kynge of Englande, as }e shalbe, and 
 I shalbe deposed: the grayhounde 
 hath this knowledge naturaly, there- 
 fore take hym to you, he will folowe 
 you, and forsake mee." The duke 
 understoode well those wordes, and 
 cheryshed the grayhounde, who wold 
 never after folowe Kynge Richard, 
 but folowed the Duke of Lancastrie. 
 
 Improvements. 
 
 THE Hibernian schoolmaster, set- 
 tled in a village near London, who has 
 advertised that " he intends to keep 
 a Sunday's school, tivice a week, Tues- 
 days and Thursdays," reujinds us of 
 the mock mayor of a place in the 
 West, who declared on his election, 
 that he was resolved to hold his quar- 
 ter- sessions monthly. 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 A PARISH OFriCER, peram- 
 bulating his di>trict to lake a list of 
 such of the inliabilants as were liable 
 to be drawn for lecruiting the militia, 
 saw an old comb maker at work, and 
 thus addressed him, " Pray, honest 
 friend, how old are you ?" — " Not old 
 enough," answered he, " to be chosen 
 a militia-man ; I am a mere infant. — 
 Don't you observe that I am ctdting 
 my teeth ?" 
 
 Ancient Angling Anecdote. 
 
 PLUTARCH, speaking of angling, 
 informs us that Mark Antony and 
 Cleopatra, in the midst of their un- 
 paralleled splendour, passed many of 
 their hours in that tranquil amuse- 
 ment. He also mentions a deception 
 reciprocally phiyed off by those two 
 royal personages upon each other. — 
 The whole business of angling may 
 be said to be deceptive, and therefore 
 tricks in that art should be excused. 
 
 " Antony," says Plutarch, " went 
 otit one day to angle with Cleopatra; 
 and being so unfortunate as to catch 
 nothing in the piesence of fiis mistress, 
 he was much dissatisfied, and gave 
 secret orders to the fishermen to dive 
 under water, and put fishes which had 
 been fresh taken upon his hook. — - 
 After he had drawn up two or three, 
 Cleopatra perceived the trick: she 
 pretended, however, to be surprised 
 at his good fortune and ilexterit}, and 
 mentioned the circumstance to her 
 friends; at the same time inviting them 
 to come and see him angle. Accord- 
 ingly a very large company went out 
 in the fishing vessels; and, as soon as 
 Antony had let down his line, she 
 commanded one of her servants to be 
 beforehand with Antony, and, diving 
 into the water, to fix upon his hook 
 a salted fish, one of those which were 
 brought from the Euxine Sea." It 
 does not appear how Antony relished 
 this imposition from his fair associate. 
 4 12
 
 Cl2 LH.ernrjj CimosH'ies, Epitaphs^ WoiJcJerfid Events^ 
 
 Cross Readings, 
 
 «* A CONCISE review of Biiii-,!'. 
 
 literature, coiitaining a kitciioii, 
 
 laundry, chi^mbc^•^, l>rf' w-housp, ai!<! 
 Cellais,— nui-t t'liriibly Mtuateii, and 
 Well adapted for an hotel,- — altliDUiji: 
 tbf Biiti-li have lately had a reiiifoice- 
 H'erit.— Foi partK ul 'r>, application 
 may i)e made belorc the, time, — ade- 
 qu.iie In the importance and value of 
 the — local advaiitii<zes v\hich are obvi- 
 ous to anv Common observer, — wliiel; 
 it is thouohf will be cfter ted witliou' 
 difficulty. — He adds that there hao 
 been an en^jaoement beuveen — the 
 diniii;i-room, dra'/.H-g-room, and fif 
 teen other fire-ioonis. — The result ol 
 this has been what many people ex- 
 pected, the lo^s <il — e-xlienie bad 
 weather for tlie season." 
 
 Ducks devoured hy F.cJs: a Fuct 
 rehiitd hi/ Sir John Huivkins. 
 
 VVUliN I lived at Tv\ickenham, 
 tliere was a large canal adjoined to 
 niy house, which I stocked with fish 
 1 had, from time to time, broods oi 
 ducks, which, with their young ones, 
 took the water. One dry summer, 
 wh'h the canal was very low, we 
 Jiiissed many \ouiig ducks, but could 
 Dot find out how they went. Resolv- 
 ing to make advaiUiige of the lowiiess 
 of the walei, to clean the canal, ■« 
 \vork which had ni t been done foi 
 thirty years betore, I drained ana 
 emptied it, and found in the mud a 
 great number of large cols. Scjine 
 of them I reserved for the use of my 
 family, w^hich, being opened by the 
 COKiv, surpiised us all; lor, in the 
 stomachs of many of ihem were found, 
 uiidigetted. the necks and heads ot 
 young ducks, which doubtless^^ were 
 those of the ducks we had missed 
 The fact eenis to have been, that the 
 water be ng shallow, they became an 
 easy prey, and were pulled uiider by 
 the eels. 
 
 (^ottpn^s Comjplete Angler 
 
 Artecdofe. 
 
 THF, late Dr. ^Jagrath tieins railed 
 upon to vi?U a sick man. asked him 
 as he entered the room, how he did? 
 *• O doctor," lepliwl the patient, in a 
 plaintive tone, "I am deati !" The 
 doctor immediately Ipft the room, and 
 reported in the neighbouihood that 
 the man wns dead. Tlie report was 
 at. first believed and circulated; but, 
 HS sonn as the mistake was discovered, 
 the doctor was asked, " Why he had 
 propagated a false report ?" he re- 
 plied, that he did it upon the be>.t 
 aulhoritv; for he had it from the 
 man's own mouth. 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 CHARLES, the old haughty duke 
 of Somerset, once sent for Seymour, 
 ihe paiuier, to Pelwoith, to paiiil a 
 room with portraits of his running 
 horses, and one day, at dinner, drank 
 to him, with a sneer — " Cousin Sey- 
 mour, your health." " My lord," 
 replied the painter, " I do really be- 
 lieve I have the honour of being of 
 your grace's family." The duke, of- 
 iendcd at this freedom, ordered his 
 steward to pay Seymour, and dismiss 
 him. Another painier of horses was 
 sent for, who finding himself unequal 
 to finishing, honestly acknowledged 
 it, and humbly rcctimmcnded the 
 duke to rccal Seymour. The haughty 
 peer condescended to summon kin 
 cousin once more, and Seymour an- 
 swered the mandate, by a letter, in 
 ihese words — " My Lord, I will novv 
 prove that I am of your grace's fa- 
 mily : — / icill not come." 
 
 Enigfnas. — Musical Instruments. 
 
 HALF an insect, two-nii.ths of a 
 truit, and one-fourth of a poisonous 
 reptile. 
 
 Two-ninths of a small fish, a vowel, 
 and hall of a moveable habitation. 
 
 Four-sixths of a game at cards, a 
 vowel, and a wofd of denial leversed.
 
 Jniereafwq Narrat'irra. Fnirfmas, Epifframs, Poetrif, %c. 613 
 
 IVinler. 
 
 PAVE.MF.NT slif)!)'ry ; people snepzitig ; 
 Lords in ermine. I)ec!ia!'s fttezin^; 
 Nobies, srarre the wrt-fched hefci nj; ; 
 Gallant soldiers— liot'iilinc ! — bieetling ! 
 Lofiy mansions, warm and sp3ciou>i; 
 Courtiers. crin£;ing and •.oracious; 
 Titied giot(on,«, daiiifies carving; 
 Geniiis, in a g-arret, starving! 
 
 Wive'., who laugh at pa-sive i«pous?s; 
 Theatre*, and meeting-iionses ; 
 Balis, whr-re sJmpVing mi??e« langnisb. 
 Hospitals, and gfrc-ius of anguish. 
 
 Arts and sciencrs bewailing; 
 Commerce di'oopiag:. credit failingj 
 Placem- Q niockintf suUiects lojal; 
 Separations ; weddings loyai ! 
 
 Authors, who en n't earn a dinner, 
 ]M.iny a subtle rogue, a winner! 
 Fugitives, for shelter seeking ; 
 Misers hoarding, tiariesmen breaking! 
 
 Ladies gambling, nisji't and morning. 
 Fools, the wori^K of genius scorning! 
 Ancient dame' for gir.'s dtis!aken, 
 Yonthful damsels— quite forsakeu. 
 
 Some in luxury delighting : 
 More in. talking than in lighting; 
 Lovers old, and beaux decrepid; 
 Lordling* emply and in<inid. 
 
 Poets, painters, and musicians; 
 Lawyers, doctor**, politicians; 
 Pamphlets, newspapFrs, and odes, 
 Seeking fame, by diit^reat roads. 
 
 Taste and talents quite de>^erted ; 
 All the laws of truth perverted; 
 Arrogance o'er merit soaring; 
 Merit, silently deploring! 
 
 Gallant souls with empty purses: 
 Geii'rals, only fii tor nurses; 
 Schooii)oys, smit with mntial spirit, 
 Taking place of vet'ran merit. 
 
 Honest men, who can't get places; 
 Knaves, who shew nnLiiishing faces; 
 Ruin hasten'd, peace retarded ; 
 Candour spurn'd, and art rewarded. 
 
 To light — perchance be be.it ! Aye, there's 
 
 the rub. 
 For in thui daring siep, what blows may 
 
 come 
 When we have shuffled of? our co.its and 
 
 .«hirts 
 'jiist give us pause; there's the re-pect 
 ^ iir;i makes thi? difSdence of so long life. 
 For who w.-uild bear the taunts and sneers 
 
 o'(i)' mob ; 
 The pangs of cold neglf ct, and fame's del.iy 
 The porter's wrongs— the coal-heaver's cou- 
 
 lumely. 
 !')' insolouoeo' pngiliPts, and the spnrns 
 Toat pjitiLiit merit of the hero takes, 
 V. hon he himself might his quietus make 
 With a well-put biow. Who would InsultB 
 
 bear, 
 ^nd fret .ind fnmo beneath a doubtful slate. 
 Hal that a dread of something oa the stage, 
 The undeiermin d trial, from whose bourn 
 Rarl ne'er return d, ptizzle? the will, 
 Aad makes its rather bear those ills we have, 
 Ti.an tty i« others that we know not of. 
 ■hns fear of drubbing makes us cowards all. 
 Aud thus the wish of native resolution, 
 \ad skili'd maaosuvres of each wtU-grac'd 
 
 ring, 
 'Tith this regard, their profits turn away, 
 And lose the fame of boxing. 
 
 A Parody on the celebrated Soliloquy in 
 Hamlet. By a Borer. 
 
 TO box, or not to box, that is the question, 
 Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to sailer 
 The stings and goadings of a weil-tweaK'j 
 
 nose, 
 Or to take heart with Humphries or Mendoza . 
 And by opposing end them. To strip, to 
 
 bear 
 No more ; and by this movement then to saj 
 
 we end 
 The heart-ach and a thousand natural jeers 
 Thecowards heir to. 'Tis aconsumniHtior, 
 Devoutly to be vYibb'd. To strip, to gquarc, 
 
 Eliigram. 
 
 WHEN I call'd t'other day on a noble 
 
 reanwn'd. 
 In his gre.it marble hall lay the Bible icell 
 
 bound ; 
 Not as printed by Jackson, and bound up 
 
 in black. 
 But chajn'd io the floor, like a tbief by the 
 
 back. 
 Unacquainted with Ton, and your quality 
 
 airs, 
 ; snppos'd it intended for faisily prayers: 
 ills piety pleas'd, I applauded his zeal. 
 Vet tbougiii none would venture the Bible 
 
 to steal : 
 But judge my surprize, when inform'd of 
 
 the c.';se. 
 He had chaiu'd it, for fear it should fy in 
 
 his face. "^ 
 
 A characteristic Epitaph. Transcribed 
 
 from North Cerney Churchyard , in Glow 
 cesiemhirc, dated Feb. 16, 1787, 
 
 HEKE lieth ready to start in full hopes to 
 
 save his distance, 
 UiMOTHT TiKF formerly 51ud Groom to 
 
 Sir .Marmaduke Match'em, and 
 .ale Keeper of the Racing .Staoles on Cer- 
 
 i:\-y Downs: — But 
 
 Wa^ beat wd of the xr or Id on the first of 
 
 April li-sl, ijy tiiat invincible 
 
 P.ockiutham Heath. 
 
 N. B. He lived aud died aft iitnest mani
 
 614 Literanf Curiosities, Epitaphs, Wonderful Events, 
 
 JLudicrons CArcumstance. 
 
 THE following ludicrous ciicum- 
 ftance happened some time ago: ^ii, 
 C — -n, of Ciiiy,\vell, in Essex, ^crit a 
 fine hiue to liis friend in London; the 
 ni.in by whom it was sent having oc- 
 casion, stopped at an ale-house near 
 Stratford, called for a pint of beer, 
 end went barkwanis; in the mean 
 time the landU)rd killed his cat, and 
 put it into the basket, in lieu of the 
 hare, which he concealed. The man 
 pursued his journey, sent in the bas- 
 kel, was called in himself, and asked 
 if he had stopped on the road f he 
 aiiswered in the affirmative, and ihe 
 mvslery was cleared up. He received 
 a reward, with thanks to his masier, 
 for the intended present. He matched 
 back wiih the cat, called again at the 
 pot-house, where he found only llie 
 servant girl, and a pot boiling; he 
 called for another pint, and sent the 
 girl f«r a pennyworth of tobacco. 
 Jii the mean lime, he took a fine piece 
 of beef out of the pot, and put in 
 the cat, taking away the beef, and 
 leaving the cat for the landlord's din- 
 Ber. 
 
 Die decently. 
 
 A MAN of the name of Dosharty, 
 who was sentenced to be hani;ed at 
 Ilchester, for horse-stealing, requested 
 J\lv. Summers, of the Bath theatre, 
 to lend him a wig, that he might die 
 decently. The day of execution 
 came; and when the malefactor was 
 in the cart, he bawled out aloud, " Is 
 there one Bob Summeis aiv.ong the 
 
 mobr " Here am I," answered 
 
 Summers. — " Then take your wig, 
 Bob," said the culprit, " for I'll die 
 in my cap." 
 
 Appropriate Marriage, 
 
 IN an Irish paper, a marriage is 
 mentioned of Mr. Tlaomas Slider, to 
 Miss Webb. 
 
 Origin of drinking Healths. 
 
 THE pertinent and sensible Row- 
 ena, a beautiful daughter of Henaibtus, 
 general of the Saxons, who having 
 the isle of Tlianet given him by king 
 Vortigern, for assisting him against the 
 Pirts and Scots, obtained as much 
 ground as he could encompass with 
 an ox's hide to build a castle, which 
 being completed, he invited Vortigern 
 to supper; after the entertainm(^nt, 
 Ilengi-^uis called for his daujihter Row- 
 ena, who entered with great dignity 
 and magnificence, carrying a golden 
 bowl tull of wine in iier hand, out of 
 whicti she drank, and in the Saxon 
 language said, " Re of health, lord 
 king." To this Vortigern replied— 
 " Drink health." 
 
 This is the first hea'th which we 
 hear of in history, and boasts an anti- 
 quity of " thirteen liundred years. 
 
 The story adds, thai the king Vor- 
 tigern, enamoured with Uowena's 
 beauty, married her in a short timer 
 after, and gave her father the whol« 
 kingdom of Kent. 
 
 Anecdote. 
 
 AN honest Hibernian whose bank- 
 pocket (to use his own phrase) had 
 stopt payment, was farced to the saJ 
 necessity of perambulating the streets 
 in Manchester two nights together, 
 for want of a few pence to pay his 
 lodging, when accidentally hearing a 
 person talk of the Lying-in Hospital, 
 he exclaimed, " That's the place for 
 aie! honey, where is it ? for by Jasus 
 I've been tying out these two nights." 
 
 Biography. 
 
 IN a modern publication, the mo- 
 ther of the hero of the piece is de- 
 ^C'.ibcd in these words: — " She was, 
 indeed, a help-meet for her pious and 
 laborious husi)and. She bore hiiB 
 nimtcm children !"
 
 Interestiny Narratives^ Enigmas^ Epigrams^ Poetry^ Sfc. 615 
 
 Births. 
 
 ON Tuejsday, January 9, JNIrs 
 Shoe, wife of Mr. Jonathan Shoe. 
 sh()ein;iker, of Dover, was safely ilt- 
 livered of — a pair of shoes. 
 
 Anecdote of a Horse ■Stealer. 
 
 AT the second encampment, the 
 English forces made in Bojepore, in 
 the Kast Indies, one of the ofTicerb 
 had a horse stolen, but missing ths 
 road befoie he got clear of the tents, 
 the thief was detected, and brouoh! 
 back. The gentleman, highly pleased 
 at recovering his horse, and much sur- 
 prised at the dexterity of the fellow 
 who carried him off, amidst seven or 
 eight sices (grooms) sleeping round 
 him, was moie inclined to admire his 
 address and expertness, than to punish 
 him. Next morning, his resentment 
 bemg subsided, yielJed to his curi- 
 osity; he ordered the fellow, therefore, 
 to be brought before him, and en- 
 quired by what contrivance he had 
 eti'ected his design. The fellow re- 
 plied, he could not well tell his ho- 
 nour, but that if he pleased he would 
 shew him. " Well then," says the 
 officer, " since you are so bad at de- 
 scription, we will see how you did it." 
 Being arrived at the [)ickets, the fel- 
 low crept softly under the horse's 
 belly: " Now, Sir," says he, " pray 
 take notice: this is the manner 1 
 crawled over the sices — the next thing 
 was to loosen his ropes behind, which 
 I did thus — I then clapped a halter — 
 observe, Sir, if you please — over his 
 reck, thus." " Admirably clever, by 
 Jove," cries the officer, laughing and 
 rubbing his hands. " In this manner," 
 continued the fellow, " 1 jumped 
 Ujjon hfs back, and when once I am 
 mounted, I give any body leave to 
 catch me if they can." In saying 
 which, he gave the horse a kick, and 
 though almost surrounded by troops, 
 &c. pushed him through the gaping 
 crowd, put him to his full spceti, and 
 •Qrried him clean off. 
 
 A Toast. 
 
 A CHAPLAIN t" a governor of 
 Bengal, more remarkable for the 
 Lfoodness of his heart than the bril- 
 liancy of his wit, being one day, at 
 the table of his ])alron, asked for a 
 a toast, with much simplicity ex- 
 claimed — "Alas! and a lack-a-day ! 
 what can I give?" " Nothing better," 
 replied the governor: " Come, gentle- 
 men, a bumper to the parson's toast — 
 a /ass and a lack a day." A lack of ru- 
 pees is one hundred thousand pounds. 
 
 An English Bull. 
 
 AN advertisement in one of the 
 papers begins thus : " To be let imme- 
 diately, or SOONER, if required, 6:e. 
 
 Thanlxsgiving. 
 
 THE clergyman of Beaumaris 
 church. North Wales, after returning 
 God thanks for Admiral Duncan's 
 victory, and the capture of the Dutch, 
 added, " We also thank thee, O God! 
 for the late captures oi finefull-bdlyd 
 herrihscs on our coasts." 
 
 Original Anecdote. 
 
 DURING the war before last, ar 
 English sailor, at a sea-port town ia 
 I America, strolled into a methodist 
 tabernacle, where one of the disciples 
 of Whitfield was holding forth with 
 declamatory virulence. After he had 
 expatiated some lime on the vvickoti- 
 ness of maidiind, he descended from 
 geiieial to particular .ippiicalions, and 
 addressing himself to tlie congiega- 
 lion, exclaimed with gieat vehemencf, 
 •' Yes, I myself will appenr against 
 vou at the day of jiidiimcnt, and tell 
 our Saviour what villains ye were 
 during your lives!" — The honest tar, 
 who had hitherto lislened with won- 
 derful patience, l-.earing this pious and 
 charitable threat, (irew tlie qi;id from 
 !ii-mouth, and called out, "No; un- 
 d<ely, indeed," for the 'greatest ro'>ue» 
 always turn kind's tvidonce."
 
 C}\6 Literary Curiosities^ Epitaplis, Wonderful Erents^ 
 
 The .superfinurifed Horse to hh .Vaster, 
 who liad .sentenced him to die at the end 
 of the Summer. 
 AND haet thoii fixd my doom, sweet ma*- 
 ter, say? 
 Acd vTiK thou kili thy seryant old ani! 
 poor ? 
 A lUtle Umi;ev let me live, I pray ; 
 A !il(le lor.gHf bobbie round Ihy door! 
 
 For much it gkds rr.e to behold Ibis place, 
 And bouse nse in tbis hcspilable .ehpd; 
 . It glacis me more to see my master's face, 
 A»d linj;er on tiiespot where I wa.>; bred. 
 
 For () J to tbitik on wbU we both enjoy'd 
 In my lik''* iiois, ere I wa ' old aod poor ! 
 
 Ihea from (he jocund morn to eve empioj M 
 My iSfracious mas'er on uiy Lack I bore. 
 
 Tbrice told ten years have danc'd on dowu 
 alonsr, 
 Since lirvt to tbee th?se way-worn limbs 
 1 gave; 
 .Sweet smiiir)^': year^ ! wben bo!h of lis were 
 yoiing, 
 The kindest master and the bappiest slave ! 
 
 Ah, years sweet .smiling! now for evn 
 flown ! 
 
 Ten years (brice told, alas, are as a day 
 Yet, as together we are ajjed fifrown. 
 
 Together let us wear that age away ! 
 
 For still the c!der time.- are dear to though'. 
 And rapture m;iik'u ;'ach liiinRiea^it flt^^ : 
 Light were our hearts, and ev'ry neasoii 
 broiigbt 
 Pains that were soft or pleasures that 
 were new. 
 Ah 1 cajl to mind, how oft near Searing's 
 stream. 
 My ready steps were bent to yonder grove. 
 Where she who lov'd Ihte was thy tender 
 theme. 
 And I, thy more than messenger of love j 
 
 Fop when thy doubting heart felt fend 
 
 alarms, 
 
 And tbrobb'd alternate with its hope and 
 
 fear, 
 
 Did I not bear thee to thy fair one's arms .' 
 
 Assure thy I'ailb, and dry up evry tear? 
 
 And hast thou fix'd my doom, sweet master, 
 say ! 
 And v\4lt thon kill thy servant old and 
 porr ?,», 
 A little longer let me live, I pray ! 
 A little longer bobble round tby door! 
 
 Yet ah I in vain iu vain for life I plead. 
 If nature bath diriicd a longer daie: 
 
 Still do not U^nn behold thy servant bieed, 
 Tho' weeping pity has decreed hi.>* fate. 
 
 But <)! kind nature! take ihy victim's life I 
 End thou a servant, feeble, old, and poor I 
 
 So shall tiiousave me from th' uplifted knife, 
 And gently stretch uie at my master's 
 door. 
 
 Epigram. 
 
 TO.\J taken by Tim, his new mansion to 
 view, 
 
 He observ'd, " 'Twas a big one, with win- 
 dow? too iovt^.'* 
 
 <« As for that," replies Tim, " I*m the build- 
 er's forgivLT, 
 
 " For lax<s '.vvi?l save, and that's good for 
 the liver." 
 
 " True, ' says Torn, "as you live upon far- 
 tkinys and nu'lgs, 
 
 " For the hoer 'lis good, — but very bad for 
 the liijhts.^' 
 
 Like no Part of Likeness. 
 
 TEADY meeting with Teagne upon Water- 
 ford quay, 
 '• Arrah now, but," says he, *' what's the 
 
 news of the day .'' 
 '■ Trotlt," s.iys Teague, " none at all at all, 
 
 worth while to mind, 
 " Except l.ig last night, that I saw a great 
 
 wind "' 
 '' Saw a wind, sure." says Teady, " but 
 
 thf.t wa* (piiie queer ; 
 " Pray what was it lilie, and how did it 
 
 appvar ?" 
 " It ap!>ear'd very frightful," says Teague, 
 
 by my sowle, 
 " For I shook like an asp to aee how it did 
 
 howl ; 
 " And lor w hat it was like, by the king's 
 
 precious crown I 
 "But't«;is like—lo have blown my poor 
 
 cabin quite down !" 
 
 Excuse for Oblivion. 
 
 !\I,ART.\ one morning vv.is smitten full'sore, 
 With the tn(i'.h-acli'.« iinmerciful pang; 
 
 And bbe vow'd, if s-he liv'd to the age of 
 five s( ors, 
 Tliat .-he still should remember the fang. 
 
 But a skilful young dentist her torture dis- 
 peM'd, 
 And so soon .sent her anguish to pot. 
 That mamma from her ilirtiuga rat having 
 smell 'd, 
 Cry'd, '• iJiss, why your tooth's qnite 
 forgot !" 
 When mis.i having shewn that the grinder 
 was gone, 
 " To forsret 'tis but common," she said, 
 " Such a thing as we think not worth think- 
 ing upon, 
 " For you see, 'tis quite out of my head." 
 
 The Poetaster, 
 THY verses are eternal, my good friend ; 
 [''or be who reads them, reads them to u» 
 end.
 
 A MEW €e[1.0r^'0LeGICA]L TABILE^ 
 
 <Pf vcmarfeaSU libcnt^, iSigrobctie^, anD Inbcntions : 
 
 The Whole cooiprehendiu?, in one View, (he Analysis or Outlines of General Hislory, 
 from the Crintion lo the jireseat Time, 
 
 Bpfore Christ. 
 
 4004 THE creation of the world and Adam and Eve. 
 
 Adam's fail. 
 4003 The birth of Cain. 
 
 3875 Cain murders Abel and is divinely banished to Nod. 
 3874 Sellt is bom. 
 
 3017 Enorli for his pifty is traasiatpd to heaven. 
 245s Noah is coniiiiandtd to warn the corrupted inhabitants of the world of 
 
 the approaching fl.»od, and t;> call iheiu to repent. 
 2348 Methuselah dies, aged QGf) years. 
 
 The whole world is destroyed by a dcluire, whic h continued 377 davs.. 
 2247 The tower of Babel is built ab(jut tliistiitie by No.ui's posterity, upon 
 
 which God niirandously c-nntunds their language, and thus dis- 
 perses them into different nation*. 
 About the saij'.e time Noati is, with j^reat probability, supposed to hare 
 
 parted fioni his rebellious offspring, and to havf led a colony of some 
 
 of the more tractable into t!ie East, and there, either he or one of 
 
 his successors, to have founded the aiirient C;iinese monarchy. 
 2234 Tlte celestial observations are begtm at Babylon, ti.e city whiclj first 
 
 gave birth to learning ai:d tise sciences. 
 .?188 Misraini, the son of Ham, founds the kiiTsdom of Ei^ypt, which lasted. 
 
 16()3 years, dovvn to the concpfst of Camb}ses, in 5'25 before Csirist. 
 2059 Ninus, the son of Belus, f )un(Ls the kingdont of Assyria, wh.cti lasted 
 
 above 1000 years, and out of its ruins were fo;med the Asssrians of 
 
 Babylon, those of Nineveh, and the kingdom of the Medes. 
 IppS Noah dies, agerl 950 years. 
 1995 The birth of Abraham. 
 1921 The covenant of God made with Abraham, when he leaves Ilaran lo go 
 
 into Canaan, which beiiins the 430 years of sojourninir. 
 IS97 ThL* cities of Sodom and Gomorrah are destroyed fur their wickedness, 
 
 by fire from Heaven. 
 IS95 Isaac is born to Abraham: and not long after, Moab and Ben-ammi 
 
 to Lot. 
 I863 Isaac is intentionally offered in sacrifice; and seven years after he-is 
 
 married to Rebecca. 
 1856 The kingdom of Argos, in Greece, begins under Inachus. 
 1822 Mcmnon, the Egpytiun, said lo iu\eut leiteis, 15 years btdbre the reiga 
 
 of Phoroneus. 
 1821 Abraham dies. 
 17D4 The deluge of Ogyges, by wiiich Attica remained waste above 200 
 
 years, till the connng of Cecrops. 
 1728 Joseph sold into Eg>pt by his bp tiiien. 
 
 17 iG Isaac diesaoDUt 43 }ear.-> nflt r he had blessed Jacob and Esau. 
 1715 Prometheus first struck tire from flints. 
 
 4 K
 
 6 IS A new Chronologu of remarkable Erenfx, Discorerie-^, 
 
 Bfore Ckvist, , t , c f-, • • 
 
 1035 Josepli <lieR in Esvpt, which concludes the book of Ucuisis, containing 
 
 •d period of 23')'9 years. 
 1582 Thtj clironoloi^y oi" th»» Arundelian Marbles begins al>nuf this time, 
 fisinf» here tlie arrival of tije Cecrops in Attica, an epoch which other 
 writers have phicetl later bv 26 v«^ars, 
 1574 The opi)rt?-.iori of the Hebrews, and murder of their children began. 
 1571 Mo'^e'!. biother to Aaron, b'^-ni. in Eiiypt, and adopted by Pharaoh's 
 
 ddud.ter. who educates him in all the learning of the Egyptians. 
 1556 Cecro|)s brings a colony of Sal tes from Egypt into Attica, and begins 
 
 the kingdom <<f Athens in Greece. 
 15l6 Scarnander comes from Crete into Pbrygia and begins the kingdom of 
 
 Troy. 
 1503 The deluge of Dnucalion, iuThessaly. 
 1495 The Panatheuit first celebrUed at Athens. 
 1493 Cadmus carried the Phoenician letters hit* Greece, and built the citadel 
 
 ofTiicbei. 
 1491 Moses performs a ntimber of miracles in Egypt, and departs from that 
 kingdom, together with 600.000 Israelites, besi 'es children ; which 
 conipli'ted tiie 430 years of sojourning. They niiraculou-ly pass 
 throuiih the Red Sea, and come to the desart of Sinai, where Muses 
 rertives from Oo(', and delivers to the people, the Ten Command- 
 nitnts, and ihe other laws, and sets up the tabernacle, and in it the 
 ark < f the covenant. 
 14S5 TIjc first ship that appeared in Greece was brought from Egypt by 
 Dnnaus, who arrived at Rhodes, and brought with hiju his fifty 
 daui^hters. 
 14.53 The first Olynipic gnmes celebrated at O'ympia, in Greece. 
 145*^ 'J'he p. nlateudi, or five fir^t books of Moses are written in the land of 
 
 Moab, \vh< le he died the year followiug, aged 1 10. 
 1451 The Israelites, after .sojourning in ihe wilderness forty years, are led 
 uuv'er Joshu.i into the Jau<l of Canaan, vvhfre they fix themselves, 
 after having subdued the natives ; and the period of the sabbatical 
 \c-ix fonnnences. 
 ]40fi Iron is found in Greece from the accidental burning of the woods. 
 13.36 The Ek'uusinian nnsteries introduced at Athens by Eumolpus. 
 1326 The Isthmian uames first instjiuted by Sisyphus, king of Coiinth. 
 1263 Tl^e A riion^utic expedition. 
 
 The first Pjthiaji games celebrated by Adraslus, kingofArgos. 
 12-2 Tyie is boilt. 
 12 i-^ Gideon fiourishes in Israel. 
 
 122") 'I he Theban war of the seven heroes against Eteodes. 
 122 J ()hi!i])ir games celebrated by Heicules. 
 
 11J8 The rape of Hflcn by Paris, which, in 11 93, gave rise (0 the Trojan 
 uar, an<l siege of Troy by the Greeks, which continued ten } ears, 
 when that city was taken and burnt. 
 1 \ ^() 'ampsoii is born. 
 
 \\\G Sampson pulls down the idol temple on some thousands of the Phiiis- 
 lines. Hereon the Ht brews attack them ; but are repulsed with the 
 loss of 4000. Soon after, tliey are again defeated, with the loss of 
 30,000, and the aik isjaken. Eh's two wicked sons, who had cor- 
 rupted the nation, are slain, and himself dies as he hears the tidiu<;s.
 
 Inventions^ Sfc. from the Creationj to the present Time 619 
 
 ' * ' ■ ■ ' ' " . '■ ■ , •' ■ . a 
 
 Before Christ. 
 
 109.5 Saiii made kii)^ over L-jrael. 
 
 1070 The kin;,'(loai of Athens <:*ii'.fed in the death of Codrus, 
 
 1055 Saul is sJoiu. 
 
 David begins liis reifiii over Judah. 
 lOlS D^vid is sole kina; of Israel. 
 
 1015 Duvid dies and is succeeded by Solomon; who, in the fourth year of his 
 ri'ijrii, lays the foundation of ihe tt^inple, and finishes it in the eleventh. 
 lOOi The t< inple is soleninly dtdicaled by Solomon. 
 
 So5 The Ethiopians invade EjjNpt, while their civil war continues, and seize 
 on that country, and drown Oius, the king of the Nile. His wif« 
 Isis dies of grief. 
 The Ethiopians are routed by Asa. 
 
 Evander ajid his mother Cannenta, carry the letters of Greece In toltaly. 
 The Grecian expedilion of the Argonauts. 
 Hercules and Csculapius were deified, 
 
 Theseus was banished from Alhens, and the Heraclides were chased 
 out of Peloponnesus ; and Agamemnon was king of Mycence. 
 907 Honjer and Htsiod flourished about this time, according to the marbles. 
 504 Accordnif; to Sir Isaac Newton, Troy is taken and ruined. 
 
 Cartl)age is built, at least enlarged, by Dido and her Phosuiciaus. 
 S96 Elijah, the prophet, is translated to hfe-aven. 
 8S'4 Money first jnade of gold and silver at Argos. 
 
 884 Lycurgus, 42 years old, established his laws at Lacedaamon, and toge- 
 ther with Iphitus and Cleosthenes, restores the Olympic games, at 
 EJis, about lOS years before the era, which is commonly called the 
 fix^i Olympiad. 
 SjS9 The cify of Carthage, in Africa, founded by Queen Dido. 
 
 Phidon, king of Argos, is supposed to have invented scales and measures, 
 and coined silver at ^Egina. 
 S20 Fall of the Assyrian empire by the death of Sardanapalus, an era placed 
 
 SO years earlier by Justin. 
 814 The kingdom of Macedonia begins, and continues 646 years, till the 
 
 battle of Pydna. 
 786 The triremes first invented by the Corinthians. 
 779 The monarcbial government abolished at Corinth, and the Prytanes 
 
 elected. 
 7r6 Corcoebus conquers at Olympia, in the 28th Olympiad from the institu- 
 tion of Iphitus. This is vulgarly called the first Oiynipiad, about 23 
 years before the foundation of Rome. 
 77y Pul, the founder of the Assyrian empire, invades Canaan. 
 757 Isaiah begins to prophecy. 
 753 Rome built on the 20ih of April, according to Varro, in the year 3p6l 
 
 of the Julian period. 
 732 Syracuse built by a Corinthian colony. 
 
 721 The kingdom of Israel finished by the takmg of Samaria, by Sairaanasar 
 king of Assyria. 
 The first eclipse of the mooa on record March 19lh accordiugto 
 Ptolemy. 
 558 Byzantium (now Constantinople) built by a colony of Athenians* 
 (?30 Cyrene built by IJaitus. 
 
 4 t2
 
 620 A new CJironology of ronarJinhle Events, Discoveries, 
 
 Before Christ, 
 
 C-24. llie Sr^t!lians invade Asia Minor, of which they keep possession for 28 
 
 623 Dradi t->tal»!isheri his huvs at A'hens. 
 
 6(0 Tlic cmii'i bif'-iecn the Nik- and the Red Sea beciin bv king Necho. 
 
 6()6 Ninev. h takvn tiiid destroyed bv Cvavares «i)(l his allies. 
 
 (i04 'Vin- PI:Genici.iiis tail roiimi Aftica, by order of Necho. 
 
 Arion, I'ittHcus, Aicueas Sappho, &c. flourished. 
 6(0 7 hales, of Mtle'iis, travels into tgvpt, cunsuUs the priests of Memphis, 
 
 ac(piires the knowledge of geometry, astronomy, and philosophy ; 
 
 returns to Greece, caicidates eclipses, gives general notions of the 
 . univtjrse, and maintains that one Supreme intelligence regulates all 
 
 its motions. 
 Maps, globes, and the signs of the zodiac, invented by Anaximander, the 
 
 jcii-'lar of Tiinles. 
 597 Jfclit iaklu, king of Judah, is carried away captive by Nebuchadnezzar, 
 
 to Babylon. 
 596 The Scvlhiaiis are expelled from Asia Minor by Cyaxares. 
 591 The Puiiian games first estiiblished at Delphi. 
 
 Chilo, Aniicharsis, Thales, Epimcnides, Solon, the prophet Ezekiel, 
 
 il{,si |> and Stersichorus floiirislied. 
 5S7 Jeru^<»!em taken by Nebuchadnezzar, 9th of June after a siege of 18 
 
 months. 
 5S2 The Isthmian games restored and celebrated every first and third year 
 
 «if the Olympiads. 
 577 Deafii of Jtreuiiiih, the prophet. 
 56'S The Nema^an ganus restored. 
 
 562 The tirsf conudy acted at Athens, by Susarian and Dolon. 
 560 Pisislratus iirst usurped the sovereignty at Athens. 
 559 Cyrus beiiiiisto reign. 
 
 Ana\ini«Mus, Bias, Anaximander, Phalaris and Clcobulus flouiished. 
 $4S Cioesus ton(|utred by Cyrus. 
 
 Tiieoguis and I'herecydes flourished. 
 539 Marseilles built by the Phocaeans. 
 
 Tlie age of Psthagoras, Simouides, Thespis, Xenophancs and Anacreon, 
 538 P>abylou takf'ii by Cyrus. 
 536 The return of the Jews by the edict of Cyrus, and the rebuilding of the 
 
 temple. 
 535 Tlie tii>t tragedy acted at Athens on the waggon of Thespis. 
 526 draining encouraged at Athens and a public library built. 
 S'25 Ei;%p! (onquered by Canibyses. 
 522 Aitaxerxes the JMagus being killed, Darius Hystaspis, wliom we think 
 
 Ahasuerus, the husband of Esther, 13 chosen king of Persia, by the 
 
 nei:,hing c-f his horse. 
 5!5 The second temple at Jerusalem is finished under Darius. 
 510 Tiif t^anny of the Pisistratidae abolished at Athens. 
 509 Tarquiu the VII. and last Ung of the Romans, is expelled, and Rome, 
 
 13 governed by two consuls, and other republican magistrates, till the 
 
 batt'e of Piiarsalid, being a space of 46 1 years. 
 504 Sardis taken by the Athenians and burnt, which became afterwards the 
 
 cause of the invasion of flrceceby the Persians. 
 Heraclitus, Paruienides, Wilo the wrestler, AiiUa^oras, ^c, flouiished.
 
 Inventions, Sfc.froyn the Creation to the j)rese»t Time. f>2l 
 
 Before Chrizt. 
 
 498 The fir!>t dictator, Larfins, created ?.t Rome. 
 
 493 Tljt Roman popuiarc retire to Moutit Sacer. , 
 
 490 T'fie battle of Marallj(.n. 
 
 486' /Eschylns. (he Greek poet, fir^t gains the prize of(r3j»e»ly. 
 
 481 Xerxes Iho Great, king of iVrsia, bei;ins his expeiiiiinii against Greece, 
 
 479 The Persians defeated at Plafaea aiid Macale on the same da)', 2'2(i of 
 
 September. 
 477 The 300 Fabii killed at Cremera, July l/lli. 
 471 Thenii^locles, accused of conspiracy, iiits to Xerxes. 
 •470 The Pt-r-^ians (fefeated at Cyprus, an(i near the Euryinedoii. 
 463 Tiie third ^)e>settian war beu-ins, and continues lOxcars. 
 46'J Eejpt re\olt5 from tiie Persians nnrier inarns, assisted by the Athenians. 
 •458 Ezra is sent from Babylon to Jerusalem, uith the captive Ji ws, and the 
 
 vessils of uoid and silver, cVc. Leinp seventy weeks of years, or 490 
 
 years be'ore the crucifixion of our Saviour. ■ 
 454 The Romans send to Athens for Sdion's hiws. 
 
 Sophocles, Ni-heiniah the prophet, Piato tlie roniic poet, Aristarchus 
 
 the trai;ic, Leocrates, ThrasyJuiUis, Pericles, /^ideucns, &c. tlourishcd. 
 451 The Decern vus created at Rome, and the laws of the Ivveive tables com- 
 piled and ratified. 
 448 The first sacred war concerninir the temple of Delphi. 
 4+7 The Athenian'* dcfe^.tid at Ctiasronea by the Iice*>!wns, 
 445 Herodotus rends his his-tory to the council of .-vthcns, and receives public 
 
 honours in 'ne '^\)\h year of iiis a<ie. 
 Empedorh-s, Hellanirus, l.iiiipidis, Herodicus, Phidias, Artenioncs, 
 
 Charondas. Otc. flt-urished. 
 444 A colony sent loTliu:i',;m by the Athenians. 
 440 Comedies proliibiled at Athens, a restraint which remained in force for 
 
 three years. 
 439 A war i'etween Corinth and Corcyra. 
 432 Mejon begins liere his 19 ye^rs cycle of the moon. 
 
 431 The PeloiXmneslan war begins. May 7th, and continues about 27 years. 
 Cratinus, Eiipolis, Aristophanes, Melon, Eucteujon, Malachi tiie last 
 
 of the prophets, Dtmocritus, Gorgius, Tiiucydiues, Hippocrates, &c. 
 
 flourished. 
 430 The history of the Old Testament finishes. 
 
 A plague at Atl.ens for tive years. 
 42i A peace of fifty y. ars made between the Athenians and Lacedaemonians, 
 
 which is kept oniy duriui,' six years and ten months, though each con- 
 tinued at war with each other's allies. 
 4l5 The scene of the Pelopdnitesian war changed to Sicily. 
 
 The Agrarian law Hist nio\ed at Rome. 
 414 Egypt revolts from the Persiins, anil Amyrtjeus is aj'pointed king. 
 409 The Carthaginians enters Sicil^, where tliey destroy Selinus and Himera, 
 
 but they are repulsed by Hermocrates* 
 405 The battle of ^Egosopotanios. 
 The usurpation of Diouysius. 
 404 Athens taken by L>snnf5er, 24th of April, tlie end of the Peloponnesiaii 
 
 war, and the appointment of I'irty iyranlsover llif conquered city. 
 Pharrhasiiis, Proiairoras, Ly^ias, EuciuJ, Cebes, Tclesles, Arc. flourished. 
 401 Cyrus the ^uungci killed at Cuuaxa.
 
 622 A netr Chrortoloffp of remarTiahle Ei^ents, Discoveries, 
 
 B'J'ure Chri\t. 
 
 401 Tiie glorious retreat of the 10,000 Greeks, and the expuUiun of the 
 
 thirty tyrants from Athens by Tlirasvbiilus 
 •400 Socratfs, the founder of moral pljilosopiiy among the Greeks, believes 
 the imnicrtality of the soul, aad a state of rewards ;.nd punishments, 
 for vvl.ich, an.l ofijtr subiinie doctrines he is put to dc.ith by the Athe- 
 nians, wlu. soon after repent, and erect to his memory a statue of brass. 
 596 Ai;eoi:vtt)s, of LacedD^ir.on'-* expedition into Asia against the Persians. 
 
 Tlie 3H« of Xenopho:!, Ctesiui, Zttixis, Antisthenes, Evagoras, Aristippus 
 of C\rene, and Aschytas. 
 395 Tlie C-r'nt'iian war ij^gaii Ly the alliance of the Atiiei.ians, Thebans, 
 
 C<'rijifli;.".ns and Arj;ives, Hpaiist I.jfedceinon. 
 50-t The f.i-,ce(!acr!'oirans, under Pisand; r, defeak-d by Cnrion, at Ci;' ^us; 
 and a fievv d.'.js af'er thi' allies are defeated at Curona;a, by Agesilaus, 
 590 TiiO. r>a; tie of A ii;;?, July 17Jh. 
 
 Ti:e taltirtg of ituuie \jy the Grin's. 
 388 Dionysins besieges Rlieiigiiini, and l;ikes it after eleven months. 
 
 Plato, Piiiluxeniis, Dam'»ii, F>thins, Iidi. crates, &c. (inurished. 
 S87 'll^t (irrtk ( ities <f Asia tributary to Persia, by the peace of Antalcidas, 
 
 between the I.acedieujnnians and Persians. 
 3S5 The war of Cyprus finidieci by u treaty, after it had continued two years. 
 577 i '1^ KnordaenK-niuns deflated iu a sea fight at Naxos, September 20th, 
 b\ Chii!)iias. 
 riiiiistiis, Isaeus, Isocrates, Arete, Philolaus, Diogenes the cynic, &c, 
 flour!s!ud. 
 374 Aifaxerscs vends an army under Pbarnabazus, with 20,000 Greeks, 
 
 rotnniandcd b\ Iphocrules. 
 371 Tlie b.ittle of Ltuctr^*, July Stfi, where the Lacedaemonians are defeated 
 
 by Epaniinoncias, the j;eneral of thelhebans. 
 570 Tlie Messenians, after a banishment of 300 years return to Pelopon- 
 nesus 
 367 One of the consuls at Rome elected from the Plebeians. 
 363 Tlie battle of Mantinea gained by Epaminondas, a year after the death 
 
 of Pt lopidas. 
 361 Ai^psilaus assists Tachos, kin;; of Egypt. 
 
 Some of the j^overnors of Lesser Asia, revolt from Persia. 
 360 The Alhtniaiis are defeated at INIethrone, the first b»tile that Philip of 
 
 Macedoii ever won in Greoce. 
 357 Dionysius t!ie younger, is eNpelied from Syracuse by Dion. 
 
 Tlie second sacred war begins, on the temple of Delphi being attacked 
 by the Pliocians. 
 354 Dion put to death, and Syracuse governed seven years by tyrants. 
 
 Endoxus, Lycnr^us, Ibis, Theopornpus, Ephorus, Dalauies Philomelus, 
 ^c. flourished. 
 3o5 The Phocians, under Onomarchus, are defeated in Thessaly by Philip. 
 350 Ejiypt is c()iupiered by Ociins. 
 
 348 The saore<l war is finished by Piiilip taking all the cities of the Phocians. 
 347 Dionysius recovers the tyranny of Syracuse, after ten years' bauishmeut. 
 343 Tintoleon rec-)vers Syracuse, and banishes the tyrant. 
 3i0 Tlie Caitira;;inians defeated by Tinioleon, near Agrigcutum. 
 
 .Speusippus, Protog?ne5, Aristotle, ^'^scbines, Xeiiocrates, Demoslhenei, 
 Pliocion, Mamercus, icctas, Slilpo, and Demades fiouriihed.
 
 Inventions, S;c. from the Creation to the present Time. 623 
 
 Before Christ. 
 
 S38 ThebaitJeof Cheronoea, Augusts, where Philip defeats the Atheuian* 
 
 and Thf-bans. 
 336 Pliilip of \Jacedon killed by PausaniHs. His son Alexander, on the 
 
 foliowins year enters Greece, destroys Thebes, &c. 
 334 Tiie baitle of the Graiiicus, 22d of May. 
 S33 The billle of Lsus in October. 
 332 Tyre ami Ei^vpt coni|uere(l by the Macedonian prince. 
 
 Alexuiiilria built. 
 331 The battle of Arbela, October 2d. 
 327' Ali'xander's expedition ag.iiijst Porus, 
 
 Aj)elles, Calisiljenes, Basroas, Parmenio, Philotas, Memnon, Dinocrafes, 
 CalippU3, Hvperides, Pbilelus, Lysippus, Menedemus, Szc. flourislied. 
 323 Alexander dies on the 2 1st of April. His empire is divided into four 
 kiusdoins. 
 The Sainian war, and the rei^jn of the Ptolemies in Ecypt. 
 320 Poljperchon piibii.-,hes a general liberty to all the Greek cities. 
 
 The ai,'e of Praxiteh-s, Crates, Theophrastu", Menander, Demetrius, 
 Dinarchus, Polemon, Neoplolenius, Perdiccasand Leosthenes. 
 317 Syracuse and Sicily usurped by Agathocles. 
 
 Demetrius Ph:ilerens governs Athens for ten years. 
 315 F.umeties delivered to Antigonus by his army. 
 312 Sileuciis takes Babylon, and here the beginning of the era of th« 
 
 Seleuciilas. 
 309 The conquests of Agathocles in Africa. 
 307 Democracy established at Athens by Demetrius Poliorcetes. 
 30G The title of kings fir.xt assumed by the successors of Alexander. 
 301 The battle of Ipsus, where Antigouus is defeated and killed by Ptolemy, 
 Seleiicus, Lysimachus, and Cassander. 
 Zouo, Pyirho, Philemon, Megasthenes, Grantor, &c. flourished. 
 295 Athens taken by Demetrius Poliorcetes, after a ;\ear*s siege. 
 293 The first sun dial erected at Rome by Papirius Cursor, and the times 
 
 tirst divided into hours. 
 291 Seleucus built about 40 cities in Asia, which he peopled with dift'ermt 
 nations. 
 The age of Euclid the mathematician, Arcesilau«, Epicurus, Bion, Timp- 
 charis, Erasistratus, Aristylius, Strato, Zenodotus, Arniuoe, Lachares, 
 &c. 
 287 The Athenians revolt from Demetrius. 
 2S6 Pyrriuis expelled from Macedon by Lysimachus. 
 
 285 Dionysius, of Ale\.indria, beyan his astrou>)niicaI era, on Monday, Jnne 
 20th, being the first who found the exact solar year to consist of 365 
 days, 5 hours, and 49 minutes. 
 284 Ptolemy IMiiladelphus, king of Egypt, employs seventy-two interpreters 
 to translate the Old Testament into the Greek lauguaj;e, which is 
 called the St-ptua^int. 
 281 Lysimachus (h'feated and killed by Seleucus. 
 
 TheTereotine war begins, and continues ten years. 
 The Achaean league begins. 
 280 P\rrhu5, of Epims, goes to Italy to assist the Tarentines. 
 fl7^ The G;iuls, under Breiinus, are cut to pieces near the temple of Delphi. 
 Diony»ius the astronomer, Sestratu-*, TJieocritus, DionNsiu.*, Heracleotes, 
 Fbilo, Aratas, LycopLron, Fersuius, &ls:. flourished.
 
 fi24 A new Chronologic of ramarhahh Events, Discoveries, 
 
 Before Christ. 
 
 274, Pytrhus, deftHled by Curius, retires to Epinis. 
 
 ?f).9 The first coining of silver nt llo.iie. 
 
 268 Atiiens taken by Ai)ti(ionus Grmiitas, who kept it twelve years. 
 
 20\t Tiie lirsf Punic war begins and contiiiiies for tv. estty-tliree years. 
 
 The chroiioiojjy of the AiiuKh-'li.m nuiibtts r<inij»ose<1. 
 
 Lycon, Crate;*, Derofus, Herindchus, Helenus, Clinias, Ariatotiinus, 
 &c. flourished, 
 USQ, Antiochiis Soter defeated at Sardis by Enmcnes, of Pergamus. 
 260 The Romans first concern themselves in naval afiairs, and defeat the 
 C<trlha^inians at sea. 
 
 256 Reeulus defeated by Xanthippus. 
 Athens is restored to liberty by Antijjonus. 
 
 2j1 Aratus persuades the people of Sicyon to join the Aclijean league. 
 
 Cleanthes, Homer junior, Manelho, Tiinaens, Calhmacluis, Zoijus, Duris, 
 
 Neanthes, Cttsibius, Socibius, Hieronynius, Hanno, Laodice, Lysias, 
 
 and Ariobarzanes flourished. 
 150 The Parthians under Arsaces, and the Bactrans under Thedotus revolt 
 
 from tlie Macedonians. 
 249 The sea fight of Depranum. 
 
 243 The citadel of Corinth taken by Aratus, 12th of Aujrust. 
 241 Agis, king of Sparta, put to death for attempting to settle an Agrarian 
 
 law. 
 Antigonus Caryslius, Conon of Samos, Erastosthenes, Apollonius of 
 
 Perga, Lacydes, Amiicar, Agesilaus the ephor, <K;c. flourished. 
 240 Plays acted first at Rome, being those of Livius Andromcus. 
 
 257 Amiicar passes with an army to Spain, with Annibal his son. 
 235 The ttmple of Janus shut at Rome, the first time since Numa. 
 234 The Sardinian war begins, and continues three years. 
 
 233 Original manuscripts of /Eschylns, Euripides, and Sophocles lent by tht 
 
 Athenians to Ptolemy, for a pledge of fifteen talents, 
 '231 The first divorce known at Rome, by Sp. Carvilius. 
 
 Sardinia and Corsica conquered. 
 228 The Roman ambassadors first appeared at Athens and Corinth. 
 227 The war between Cleomenes and Aratus begins, and continues five years. 
 224 Thecolossusof Rhodes thrown down by an earthquake. 
 
 The Romans first cross the Po, pursuing the Gauls who had entered 
 
 Ita'.y. 
 Chrysippus, Polystratus, Eupliorion, Archimedes, Valerius, Messala, 
 
 C. Nasvius, Aristarchus Apollonius, Philooorus, Aristo, Ceus, Fabins, 
 
 Pictor the first Roman historian, Philarchus, Lysiades, Agro, &c. 
 
 flourished. 
 222 The battle of Sellacia. 
 
 220 The social war between the iEtolians and Achaeans, assisted by Philip. 
 219 Saguntum taken by Annibal. 
 
 218 The second Putiic war begins, and continues seventeen years. 
 217 The battle of the lake Thiasy menus, and next year that of Cannof, 
 
 May 2 1st. 
 214 The Romans begins the auxiliary war. against Philip in Epirus, which is 
 
 continued by intervals for fourteen years. 
 212 Syracuse taken by Maicellus, after a siege of three year*. 
 208 Piiilopcemen defeats Macbanidas at Mantinea.
 
 Inventions, S^c. from the Creation to the present Time. 6Q5 
 
 ■ » ... ' - ' ■. : 
 
 Before Christ. 
 
 20/ Asclrubal is defeated. 
 
 riautus, Arcliagatluis, Evander, Teleclus, Hermippus, Zeuo, Sofion, 
 Eniiius, Hieronymiis of Syracuse, Tlepoieiuus and Epicydes flourished, 
 202 The battle of Zama. 
 
 200 The first Macedonian war begins and continues near four years. 
 J()8 The battle of Panius, where Antiochus defeats Scopas. 
 lt)7 The battle of Cynocepliale, where Philip is defeated. , 
 
 192 The war of Antiochus the Great begins, and continues three years. 
 191 Lacedaenion joined to the Achaean league by Philopoeinen. 
 189 The luxuries of Asia brought to Rome in the spoils of Antiochus. 
 188 The laws of Lycurgus abrogated for a while at Sparta, by Phiiopoemen. 
 187 Antiochus the Great defeated and killed in Media. 
 
 Aristophanes of Byzantium, AsclepiadeSjTegula, C, Lcelius, Aristonymus, 
 Hegesinus, Diogenes, the stoic, Critolaus, Masinissa, the Scippics, the 
 Gracci, Thoas, &:c. flourished. 
 184 A war, which continues one year, between Euraenes and Prusias, till the 
 
 death of Annibal. 
 183 Phiiopoemen defeated and killed by Dimocrates, 
 179 Nuina's books found in a stone-cothn at Rome. 
 J 75 Perseus sends his ambas-sadors to Carthage. 
 
 171 Ptolemy's generals defeated by Antiochus, in a battle between Pelusium 
 and Mount Cassius. 
 The second Macedonian war. 
 168 The battle of Pydna, and the fall of the Macedonian empire. 
 
 Attalus the astronomer, Metrodorus, Terence, Crates, Polybius, Pacuvius, 
 Hipparchus, Heraclides, Carneades, Aristarclms, flourished. 
 167 The first library erected at Rome, with books obtained from the plunder 
 
 of Macedonia. 
 \66 Terence's Andria first acted at Rome. 
 159 Time measured out at Rome by a water machine, invented by Scipio 
 
 Nasica, 134 years after the introduction of sun-dials. 
 152 Andiiscus, the Pseudophilip, assumes the royalty in Macedonia. 
 150 Demetrius, king of Syria, defeated and killed by Alexander'Balas. 
 149 The ihird Punic war begins. 
 
 Prusias, kingof Bithynia, put to death by his son Nicomedes. 
 148 The Romans make war against the Achceans, which is finished the next 
 
 year by Mummius. 
 147 Carthage is destroyed by Scipio. 
 
 Corinth is destroyed by Mummius. 
 145 Viriathus is defeated by Ltelius, in Spain. 
 141 The war of Numantia begins, and continues for eight years. 
 138 The Roman army of 30,000 nnder Mancinus, is defeated by 4,000 
 
 Numantiiies. 
 137 Restoration of learning at Alexandria, and universal patronage offered 
 to all learned men by Ptolemy Physcon. 
 The age of Satyrus, Aristobulus, Lucius Accius, Miiaseus, Antipater, 
 Diodoru8 the peripatetic, Nicander, Ctesibius, Sarpedon, Micipsa, 
 &c. 
 13G The famous embassy of Scipio, Metellus, Mummius, and Pawietius, 
 inlo Egvpt, Syria and Greece. 
 
 4L
 
 626 A new Chronology of remarkable Events, Discoveries^ 
 
 Before Christ. 
 
 135 The history of (lie Apocrypha ends. 
 
 The Servile War in Sicily begins, and continues three years. 
 J33 Numantia taken. 
 
 Perganuis annexed to the Roman empire. 
 130 Antiochus Sidetes killed by PhraateSi 
 
 Aristonicus defeated by Ferpenna. 
 1 27 Demetrius Nicator defeated at Damascus by Alexander Zebina, 
 123 The Romans make war against the pirates of the Beleares. 
 
 Carthage is rebuilt by order of the Roman senate. 
 121 C. Graccus killed. 
 lis Dalmatia conquered by Metullus. 
 1 16 Cieopatia assumes the government of Egypt. 
 
 The age of Erymnaeus, Athenion, Artenudorus, Clitomachus, Apollo- 
 nius, Herodicus, L. CaeHus, Castor, Menecrales, Lucilius, &c. 
 1 1 1 The Jugurtliine war begins and continues for five years. 
 110 The famous sumptuary law at Rome, which limited the expences of 
 
 eating every day. 
 105 The Teutones and Cimbri begin the war against Rome, and continue it 
 
 for eight years. 
 1 05 The Teutones defeat 80,000 Romans on the banks of the Rhone. 
 102 The Teutones defeated by C. Marins, at Aquae Sextiae. 
 301 The Cimbri defeated by Marius and Catulus. 
 99 Dolabelia conquers Lusitania. 
 f)7 Gyrene left by Ptolemy Apion to the Romans. 
 91 The Social War begins, and continues three years, until finished by 
 
 89 The Mithridatic war begirts, and continues twenty-six years. 
 88 The civil wars of INIarius and Sylla begin and continue six years, 
 86' Sylla conquers Athens, and sends its valuable libraries to Rome. 
 82 Young Marius is defeated by Sylla, who is made dictator, 
 78 The death of Sylla. 
 
 Philo, Chimardas, Asclepiades, Apellicon, L. Sisenna, Alexander PoTy- 
 Iiistor, Plotius Gailus, Diolimus, Zeno, Hortesius, Archias, Posido- 
 douius, Gemiuus, Sec. flourished. 
 75 Bithynia left by Nicomedes to the Romans. 
 73 The Servile War, under Spartacus, begins, and two years after, the rebel 
 
 general is defeated and killed by Pompey and Crassus. 
 69 Mithridates and Tigrancs defeated by Lucullus. 
 
 67 Pompey attacks the pirates: and in four months takes or sinks 1,300 of 
 their ships: kills 10,000, and takes above 20,000 of their forces 
 prisoners, and 1 20 of their towns or strong holds. 
 66 Mithridates conquered by Pompey in a night battle. 
 
 Crete is subdued by Metellus, after a war of two years. 
 64i After the reduction of Ponlus, Pompey recovers Syria; and next year, 
 under pretence of deciding between Hircanus and 4iristobulus, takes 
 Jerusalem on a sabbath-day ; enters the sanctuary and views the fur- 
 nituiv' thereof. 
 63 Catiline's conspiracy detected by Cicero. 
 
 Mithridates kills himself. 
 60 The first triumvirate in the persons of J. Cjesar, Pompey and Crassus.
 
 Inventions, S^c.from the Creation to the present Time. C27 
 
 Before Christ. 
 
 60 Apollonius of Rhodes, Terentius Varro, Tjrannion, Aristodenius of 
 Nysa, Lucretius, Dionysius the granimurian, Cicero, Antiochus, Spu- 
 rinas, Andronicus, Catullus, Sallust, Tiiuagenes, Cratippus, etc, 
 flourished. 
 58 Cicero banished from Rorae, and recalled the next year. 
 55 Caesar passes the Rhine, defeats the Germans, and invades Britain. 
 5o Grassus is killed by Surena in June. 
 52 Invasion of England by Julius Cwsar. 
 
 The Britons, its inhabitants, were a branch of the ancient Gauls, or 
 Celtas; of which theBelgiw possessed the western part, the Brigantes 
 had the northern, the Iceni dwelt iu Norfolk and Suffolk, and the 
 Silurcs inhabited South Wales. 
 50 Dover castle built by Julius Cassar. 
 48 The battle of Pharsalia, May the 12th. 
 4,7 Alexandria taken by Caesar. 
 
 Gloucester built by Arviragus, a Roman general. 
 The Alexandrian library, consisting of 400,000 valuable books, burnt 
 by accident. 
 46 The war of Africa. 
 Cato kills himself. 
 
 This year is called the year of confusion, because the calendar was cor- 
 rected by Socigenes, and the year made to consist of 15 months, or 
 445 days, 
 45 Caesar introduced the solar or Julian year. 
 
 The battle of Munda. 
 44 C«sar, the greatest of the Roman conquerors, after having fought fifty 
 pitched battles, and slain 1,192,000 men, and overturned the liberties 
 of his country, killed in the senate-house. 
 43 The battle ofMutina. 
 
 The second triumvirate in Octavius, Antony and Lepidus. 
 Cicero put to death. 
 
 The age of Sosigenes, C. Nepos, Diodorus, Siculus, Trogus Pompey, 
 Didymus the scholiast, Varro the poet, &c. 
 42 The battle of Philiipi. 
 39 Pacorus, general of Parthia, defeated by Ventidius, fourteen yeare after 
 
 the disgrace of Crassus and on the same day. 
 3(5 Pompey the younger defeated in Sicily by Octavius. 
 32 Octavius and Anthony prepare for war. 
 3 1 The battle of Actium, 2d of September. 
 
 The era of the Roman emperors properly begin here. 
 30 Alexandria taken, and Egypt reduced into a Roman province. 
 27 Octavius, by a decree of the senate, obtains the title of Augustus Caesar, 
 and an absolute exemption from the laws, and is properly the first 
 Roman emperor. 
 25 The Egyptians adopt the Julian year. 
 
 Virgil, Manilius, Dioscorides, Asinius PoHJo, Maecenas, Agrippa, Strabo, 
 Horace, Macer, Propertius, Livy, Musa, Tibullus, Ovid, Pylades, 
 Bathylius, Varius, Tucca, Vitruvius, &c. flourished. 
 Coin tirst used in Britain. 
 22 The conspiracy of Muxeejia against Augustus. 
 
 4L2
 
 628 A new Chronology of remarkable Events^ Discoveries, 
 
 Before Christ, 
 21 Aujjustus visits Greece and Asia. 
 
 20 The Roinairenbigns recovered from the Parthians by Tiberius. 
 17 The secular ijames celebrated at Rome. 
 ]() Lollius defeated by the Germans. 
 15 Tiie RliEeti and Vindelici defeated by Drusis. 
 12 The Pannoniaus conquered by Tiberius. 
 1 1 Some of the German nations conquered by Drufus. 
 
 8 Augustus corrects the calendar, by ordering the twelve ensuing years to 
 
 be without intercalation. 
 Damasccnus, Hygiiius, Flaccus the grammarian, Dionysius of Halicar- 
 
 nassus, and Dionysius the geographer flourished. 
 Rome at this time is fifty miles in circumference, and contains 463,000 
 
 men tit to bear arms. 
 The temple of Janus is shut by Augustus, as an emblem of universal 
 
 peace. 
 
 6 Tiberius retires to Rhodes for seven years. 
 
 Our Saviour is born, four years before the vulgar era, in the year 
 4709 of the Julian period, A. U. C. 749, and the fourth of the 
 ]C)3d Olympiad. 
 JJter Chrint. 
 
 J Clirist's parents return from Egypt, and settle at Nazareth. 
 
 2 Tiberius returns to Rome. 
 
 4 The leap year corrected, having formerly been every third year. 
 
 7 Judas of Gallilee and Saducus raise a bloody insurrection in Judea. 
 
 9 Ovid banished to Tomos. 
 
 10 Varus defeated and killed in Germany by Armiuius. 
 12 Jesus disputes with the doctors in the temple. 
 
 14 Augusta dies at Nola, August the ipth, and is succeeded by Tiberius, 
 Tlie age of Pha'drus, Asinius Gallus, Velleius Paterculus, Germanicus, 
 Cornel, Celsus, <fec. 
 17 A most terrible earthquake overturns twelve cities in Lesser Asia, and 
 buries most of the inhabitants in the ruins. 
 Tacfarinas, a Numedian, begins to raise commotions in Africa, whicii 
 continue seven years. 
 19 Germanicus, poisoned by Piso, dies at Antioch; 
 26' Tiberius goes to Capreae 
 Caiajihas is nnide high priest. 
 Pilate governor in Judea. 
 27 Jesus is baptized in the Wilderness by John. 
 31 Sejanus disgraced. 
 33 Our Saviour is crucified on Friday, April 3, at 3 o'clock, P. M. 
 
 His Pvesurrection on Sunday, April 5 : his Ascensioni Thursday, 
 May 14, 
 56 St. Paul converted. 
 
 07 Tiberius dies at Misenum, near Baiae, March 1 6th, and is succeeded by 
 Caligula. 
 Valerius INIaximus, Columnella, Pomponius Mela, Appion, Philo Ju- 
 deeus, Artabaiius and Agrippina flourished. 
 39 St. Matthew writes his Gospel, 
 Poutius Pilale kills hinisclf.
 
 Inventions, ^'c. from the Creation to the present Time. 629 
 
 JJter Christ. 
 
 40 The name of Christians first ijiven at Antioch to the followers of Christ, 
 
 41 Caligula murfleied by Cha^reas, and succeeded by Claudius, 
 
 43 Claudius Csesar's expedition into Britain. 
 
 44 St. Mari< writes his Gospel. 
 
 James the brother of John is beheaded. 
 Herod is eaten up of worms. 
 
 47 Secular i;ames celebrated at Rome. 
 
 48 Two tumults h .ppen at Jerusalem; in one of which, 10,000 Jews are 
 
 killed by the Romans. 
 The citizens of Rome amount to 6,900,000 which is almost the number 
 of the whole inhabitants of England. 
 
 49 London is founded by the Romans; 368 surrounded by ditto with a 
 
 wall, some parts of which are still observable. 
 
 51 Caractacus, the British king, is carried in chains to Rome. 
 
 52 The councils of the Apostles at Jerusalem. 
 
 Claudius having, with 30,000 men, in eleven years, drained tlie lake 
 Fucinus by a great canal, exhibits a diverting show, of 19,000 crimi- 
 nals in 100 gallies engaged in a sea-tight. 
 
 53 Felix succeeds Cumanus in the government of Judea, 
 
 54 Claudius succeeded by Nerp. 
 
 55 St, Luke writes his Gospel. 
 
 59 The emperor Nero puts his mother and brothers to death. 
 — persecutes the Druids in Britain. 
 
 61 The Iceni, &c. reduce London to ashes, and massacre 70.000 Romans. 
 Queen Boadica is defeated by the Romans, and 80,000 Britons slain. 
 
 62 St. Paul is sent in bonds to Rome — writes his Epistles between 5 1 and 66, 
 
 63 The Acts of the Apostles written. 
 
 Christianity is supposed to be introduced into Britain by St. Paul, or 
 some of his disciples about this time. 
 
 64 Nero, now becomes a monster of cruelty, causes Rome to be burnt j 
 
 and laying the blame on the Christians, commences a persecution 
 against them. 
 Gessius Floius succeeds Albinus in the government of Judea. At his 
 arrival the Jews pelt him with stones, which occasions a dreadful se- 
 ries of murders, rapines, &c. 
 
 67 St. Peter and St. Paul put to death. 
 
 One hundred thousand Jews are massacred at Cesarea, Ptolemais, and 
 
 Alexandria, besides multitudes that Florus murdered in other places. 
 Cestius Gallus, lavs siege to Jerusalem at the feast of tabernscles; but 
 
 suddenly raises it without a reason, and has 4,500 of his troops cut 
 
 off in their retreat. 
 Vespasian invades Galilee with an army of 60,000 ; takes Gadara, 
 
 Gamala, &c, 
 
 68 Nero, now become odious to all for his murders, &c. hearing of the re- 
 
 volt of the German legions, kills himself. 
 After Galba, Otho and Vitellius, had each of them been emperor some 
 months, Ves])asian is chosen emperor by the armies in Judea and 
 Esiypt. 
 7^0 Whilst the factious Jews are destroying one another with mutual fury^ 
 Titus, the Roman general, takes Jerusalem, which is razed to the 
 ground, aad the plough roade to pass over it.
 
 630 A new Chranology of remetrJiahle Events, Discoveries, 
 
 ■ • , II nn 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 77 The Parthians revolf, 
 
 7^ Anglesea Isle subdued by the Romans. 
 
 79 Death of Vespasian, and succession of Titus, 
 
 Herculaneuni and Pompeii destro^/ed by an eruption of Mount Vesuvius, 
 November the 1st. 
 
 81 Death of Titus, and succession of Doniitian. 
 
 Theage ofSil. Italicus, Martial, Apollon, Tyanaeus, Valerius Flaccus, 
 Solinus, Epictetus, Quintiliao, Lupus, Agricola, &c. 
 
 S3 The philosophers are expelled Rome by Domitian. 
 
 S5 Julius Agricola, governor of South Britain, to protect the civilized Bri- 
 tons from tlie incursions of the Caledonians, builds a line of forts 
 between the rivers Forth and Clyde; defeats the Caledonians under 
 Galgacus, on the Grampian hills. 
 
 8(5 Capitoline games instituted by Domitian, and celebrated every fourth 
 year. 
 
 87 The river Medway overflowed the country. 
 
 88 Secular games celebrated. 
 
 The war with Dacia begins and continues fifteen years; 
 
 f)0 Britain first discovered to be an island. 
 
 5)5 River Humber overflowed, and deluged a country of fifty miles. 
 
 98 Trajan, the adopted son of Nerva, succeeds Nerva ; his wars with the 
 Damacians and Parthians, Arabs, and Jews, most successfully, dis- 
 tinguish his reign. He persecuted the Christians. 
 
 102 Pliny, proconsul of Bilhynia, sends Trajan an account of the Christians. 
 
 103 Dacia reduced to a Roman province. 
 
 106 Florus, Suetonius, Pliny junior, Philo Biblius, Dion, Prusaeus, Plutarch, 
 
 Ac. flourished. 
 
 107 Third persecution of the Christians. 
 
 1 10 Lutbgacus, the 22d king of Scotland, a tyrant, put to death by his noble*. 
 114 Trajan's column erected at Rome. 
 
 117 Trajan dies, and is succeeded by Adrian. 
 
 1 1 8 Fourth persecution of the Christians. 
 
 121 Adrian, the Roman eniperor, visits Britain, builds a wall ^from New- 
 castle to Carlisle. 
 126 Adrian visits Asia and Egypt for seven years. 
 
 130 He rebuilds Jerusalem, and raises there a temple to Jupiter. 
 
 131 The Jews rebel, and are defeated after a war of five years, and all 
 
 banished. 
 
 138 Adrian dies and is succeeded by Antoninus Pius. 
 
 In the reign of Adrian flourished Teon, Phavorinus, Phlegon, Trallian, 
 Aristides, Aquila, Salvius Julian, Polycarp, Arrian, Ptolemy, &c, 
 
 139 Justin writes his first Apology for the Christians. 
 141 A number of heresies appear. 
 
 145 Antominus defeats the Moors, Germans and Dacians. 
 
 146 The worship of Serapis brought to Rome. 
 
 152 The emperor Antoiiinus Pius, stops tiie persecution against the Chris* 
 
 tians. 
 154 Hygenus, bishop of Rome, first takes the title of Pope. 
 161 Antoninus dies, and is succeeded by M. Auielius, and L. Verus, the ktt 
 
 of whom reigned nuie years.
 
 Inv^ntions^^c. from the Creation, to the present Time, 631 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 \6l In the reign of Antoninus flourished Maximus Tyrius, Pausanias, Dio- 
 phantus, Lucian, Hermogenes, Poljaenus, Appian, Arteuiidorus, 
 Justin the martyr, Apuleiu?, &c. 
 
 \G2 A war with Parthia, which continued three years. 
 The Britons revolt from the Roman government. 
 
 163 Marcus Aurelius, another persecutor, succeeds Antoninus Pius. His 
 reign is noted for distressful wars with the Parthians in the e<ast, and 
 with the Germans, Marcomans, and Quadians in Europe. 
 
 169 A war against the Marcomanni, which continues five years, 
 
 177 Another which continues three years. 
 
 17s Lucius, king of Britain, sends to pope Eleutherus for some Christian 
 preachers. 
 
 180 M. Aurelius dies, and Commodus succeeds. 
 
 In the last reign flourished Galen, Athenagorus, Tatian, Athenaeus Mon- 
 tanus, Diogenes and Laertius. 
 
 181 Commodus makes peace with the Germans. 
 185 London was the seat of an archbishop. 
 
 J 90 Confirmation first took place. 
 
 392 Commodus put to death by Martius and Laatus. He is succeeded for a 
 few months by Pertinax, who is murdered in 193, and four rivals 
 arise, Didius Julianus, Pescennius Niger, Severus and Albinus. 
 Under Commodus flourished J. Pollux, Theodotion, St. Irenseus, &c. 
 Tiie temple of Vesta, and the temple of Peace, where the vessels of the 
 Jewish sanctuary were deposited, are burnt to the ground. 
 
 193 The Saracens defeat the Romans. 
 
 After a butchering reign of twelve years, the Emperor Commodus dies, 
 and is succeeded by Severus, who, in his victorious reign of eighteen 
 years, almost recovers the pristine grandeur of the empise. 
 
 194 Niger is defeated by Severus at Issus. 
 
 19s Albinus defeated in Gaul, and killed at Lyons, February J 9tb. 
 
 200 Severus conquers the Parthians. 
 
 202 Fifth persecution against the Christians. 
 
 207 Severus visits Britain, and two years after builds a wall there, across from 
 
 the Frith of Forth. 
 
 209 Scotland first received the Christian faith. 
 
 211 Severus dies at York, and is succeeded by Caracalla and Geta. 
 
 In his reign flourished Tertulh'an, Minutiiis Feiix, Papiuianus, Clemen* 
 of Alexandria, Pliilostratus, Piotianus and Bulas. 
 
 212 Geta killed by his brother Caracalla, 
 
 217 The septuagint discovered. 
 Caracalla murdered by Macrinus. 
 Oppian flourished. 
 
 218 Opilius Macrinus killed by his soldiers, and succeeded by Htliogabalus, 
 The vulgate edition of the bible discovered. 
 
 220 A frost in Britain which held five montiis. 
 
 222 About this time the Roman empire begins to sink under its own weight. 
 The Baibariaiis begin their irruptions, and the Goths have annual tri- 
 bute not to molest the empire. 
 Alexander Severus succeeds Heliogabalus. 
 The age of Julius Africanus.
 
 632 A new Chronohgn of remarlmhle Events, Discoveries, 
 
 * ' ^ ^ 
 
 J/ter Christ. 
 
 226 Artaxerxes, a noble Persian, having rendered himself king of his country, 
 demands from the Romans their territories in Asia, and receives a 
 tenible defeat. 
 
 229 The Arsacidie of Parthia are conquered by Artaxerxes, king of Media, 
 and their empire destroyed. 
 
 233 Gold and silver coin used in Scotland. 
 
 234 A storm at Canterbury which threw down 200 houses, and killed manj 
 
 families, 
 Alexander defeats the Persians. 
 
 235 The sixth persecution against the Christians. 
 Alexander killed and succeeded by Maximiims. 
 
 At that lime flourished Dion Cassius, Origeii and Ammonius. 
 
 236 The two Gordians succeeded Maximinus, and are put to death by Pu- 
 
 pienus, who soon after is destroyed, with Balbinus, by the soldiers of 
 
 the younger Gordian. 
 240 Sabinianus defeated in Africa. 
 242 Gordian marches against the Persians. 
 ^44 Gordian is put to death by Philip, who succeeds, and makes peace with 
 
 Sapor the next year. 
 Censorius and Gregory Thaumatugus flourished. 
 245 The sea swallowed up many thousand acres of land in Lincolnshire. 
 
 249 Philip killed and succeeded by Decius. 
 Herodian flourished. 
 
 250 The seventh persecution against the Christians. 
 The river Thames frozen nine weeks. 
 
 While Decius the emperor terribly persecutes the Christians, a plague •£ 
 fifteen years continuance, begins to ravage the empire. 
 
 251 Decius succeeded by Gallus. 
 
 252 A great pestilence over the empire. 
 
 254 Gallus dies, and is succeeded by TEmilianus, Valerianus and Gallienus, 
 St. Cyprian and Plotinus flourished. 
 
 257 The eighth persecution against the Christians. 
 
 258 The empire is harassed by thirty tyrants successively. 
 2(50 Valerian is taken by Sapor and flayed alive. 
 
 2(32 Odenatus sets up for king of Palmyra or Tadmor : and for eleven years, 
 he ancj Zenobia his queen performed wonders of bravery against the 
 Persians and Romans. 
 
 267 The Scythians and Goths defeated by Cleodamus and Athenaes, 
 
 268 Gallienus killed, and succeeded by Claudius. 
 
 In this reign flourished Longinus, Paulus Samosatenus, &c, 
 
 269 Claudius conquers the Goihs, and kills 300,000 of them. 
 Zenobia takes possession of Egypt. 
 
 270 Aurelian succeeds. 
 
 272 A famine in Britain, so that persons eat the bark of trees. 
 The ninth persecution against the Christians. 
 
 273 Zenobia defeated at Edessa, 
 
 274 Dacia ceded to the Barbarians by the emperor. 
 
 Silk first brought from India: the manufactory of it introduced into 
 Europe by some monks 551, first worn by the clergy in England 
 1534.
 
 Inventions^ ^c.from the Creation to the present Time. 633 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 '275 Aurelian killed, and succeeded by Tacitus, who died after a reign of 
 six months, and was succeeded by Floriauus, and two months after, 
 by Probus, 
 277 Probus make^ an expedition inln Gaul. 
 280 He defeats the Persir^ns in the east. 
 28€ Probus is put to death, and h succeeded by Carus, and his sons Cariims 
 
 and Numerianus. 
 284 I>ioclesian succeeds. 
 286 The empire attacked by the Barbarians of the north. 
 
 Dioclesian takes Maxiraianus as his imperial colleague. 
 291 Two emperors, and two Ca;sars, march to defend the four quarters of 
 
 the empire. 
 294 The city of London walled, and a palace bu'lt. 
 296 Britain recovered, after a tyrant's usurpation often years. 
 
 Alexandria taken by Dioclesian. 
 298 Mechaiiicai arts exceeded in Britain those of Gaul. 
 3().'3 The teutii persecution of the Christians, which coiitiinies ten years. 
 504 Dioclesian and Maximianns abdicate the empire, and live in retirement, 
 succeeded by Constantius Clilorus and Galerius JNlaximianus, the two 
 Ccesars. 
 J. Capitolinus, Arnobius, Grei.ory an) Hfrnjogenes the lawyers, 
 ^Elius, Spartianus, Ilierocles, Flavius V'>pi.scus, Trebellius Pollio. &c. 
 flourislitd. 
 306 Constantius died at York, and was succeeded by his sou,Jhe great Con- 
 6taiitine. 
 London wall built. 
 
 A famine in Scotland, when thousands wert' starved. 
 308 There were four emperors Consiantine, Licinius, Maximianus and Max- 
 eiitius. 
 Cardinuls first began. 
 ,3iO Forty thousand persons perished by famine in England and Wales. 
 
 312 Maxentius defeated and kilU-d by Consiantine. 
 
 313 1 he tenth persecution entls by an edict of Constantine, who favours the. 
 
 Christians, and gives fullJibeity to their reli^'ion. 
 
 314 Three bishops, or fathers, are sent fron> Britain to assist at the council 
 
 of Aries. 
 .31(5 Surplices first used in churches. 
 323 Consiantine having defeated Lucinius, his heathenish partner, become • 
 
 sole emperor, and applies himself to abolish idolatry and superstition ; 
 
 and in about two years after, convenes the council of Nice to settle the 
 
 afl'airs of the Christian church. 
 324. Lucinius defeated an<i banished by Constantine. 
 325 The first general council at Nice, coinposed of 318 bishops, who sit from 
 
 June 19 to August 25. 
 The Nicene Creed framed. 
 328 Tlie seat of the empire removed from Rome to Constantinople. 
 
 330 Constantinople ^ok■n)n!y dedicated to the emperor on tiie 11th of May, 
 An irruption of the sea in Lancashire. 
 
 331 Cpustantine orders ali heathen ten)pies to be destroyed. 
 
 4 il
 
 634 A new Chronology of remarhable Events^ Discoveries^ 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 ?37 The death of Constaiitine, and the succession of his three sons, Conslan- 
 tinus, Consfans and Conslanfius. 
 In the rei^n of Corjstantine flourished Lactantius, Athanasius, Arius and 
 Esebiijs. 
 540 Constantine (he younger, defeated and killed by Constans at Aquileia. 
 Saddles first usecJ. 
 Tfie Athanasian Creed wrote. 
 ;540 Four hundred and twenty houses blown down in Carlisle, and many per- 
 sons killed. 
 350 Constans killed in Spain by Ma^nentius. 
 
 353 Five thousand persons lost in Cheshire by an irruption of the sea. 
 
 354 Giillus put to death by Constantius. 
 
 358 One hiuidred and fifty cities of Greece and Asia ruined by an earthquake. 
 
 359 A severe frost in Scotland for fourteen we«ks. 
 
 300 Constantius and Julian quarrel, and prepare for war ; but the former 
 
 dios the next year, and leaves the latter sole emperor. 
 JFMus Donatus, Eutropius, Libanius, Ammian, Marcellinus, Jamblicus, 
 
 St. Iliiiary, <^c. fiouri^hcd. 
 56l Julian the apostate, and nephew of Constantine, succeeds the last of his 
 
 sons, and re-establishes Paganism ; but is cut off, after he had been 
 
 Cccsar seven years and emperor two. 
 
 363 Julian dies, and is succeeded by Jovian. 
 
 In Julian's reign flourished Gregory Nazienzen, Themisteus, Aurelius* 
 Victor, &c. 
 
 364 Upon the death of Jovian, and the succession of Valens and Valentinian, 
 
 the empire is divided, the former being emperor of the east and the 
 
 other of the west. 
 567 Graiian taken as partner in the western empire by Valentinian. 
 373 Firmus, tyrant of Africa, defeated. 
 
 375 Valentinian the Second succeeds Valentinian the First. 
 
 376 The Goths pei milted to settle in Thrace, on being expelled by the 
 
 Huns. 
 579 Theodosius the Great succeeds Valens in the eastern empire. 
 
 The Lombards first leave Scandinavia and defeat the Vandals. 
 383 Gratian defeated and killed by Andragathius. 
 388 The tyrant Maximus defeated and put to death by Theodosius. 
 391 Eugenius usurps the western empire, and is two years after defeated by 
 
 Theodosius, 
 395 Theodosius dies, and is succeeded by his sons, Arcadius in the east, 
 and Honorius in the west. 
 Ill the rei^n of Theodosius flourished Ausonius, Eunapius Pappus, Theon, 
 Pruj.'ciitius, St. Austin, St. Jerome, St. Ambrose, &(?. 
 598 Gildo, defeated by his own brother, kills hiu»self. 
 400 Bishops appointed by the people. 
 
 Bells invented by Bishop Paulinus, of Campagnia. 
 40*2 The patronage of churches began. 
 
 404 The kingdom of Caledonia, or Scotland, revives under Fergus. 
 
 405 Stilicho defeats ^00,000 of the Goths, at Fesulae. 
 
 406 The Vandals, AUni, and Suevi, permitted toseitU in Spain and France, 
 
 by Ilonvriiis.
 
 Inventions, Sfc. from the Creation to the present Time. 635 
 
 AJter Christ. 
 
 408 Theodosius the younger succeeds Arcadius iu the cast, liaving Isdegerdes, 
 
 king of Persia, as his guardian, appointed by his father. 
 410 Cunstantine, a British prince, was elected tlie first British king after 
 Lucius. 
 Rome plundered by Alarac, king of t!ie Visigoths, August 24lh, 
 41*2 The Vandais begin their kingdom in Spain. 
 413 The kingdom of the Biimundians is began in Alsace. 
 415 The Visigollis found a kingdom at Tcmlouse, 
 
 Ronian highways were made iu Britain. 
 41b Colchester destroyed by a storm, and many people killed. 
 417 The Alani dtfeated and extirpated by the Goths. 
 420 The kingdom of the French begins on the Lower Rhine. 
 423 The death of Honoiius and succession of Vaientinian the Third. 
 
 Under Honorius flourished Sulpicius Severus, Macrobius, Anianys, 
 Panodorus, Stobaeus. Servius the commentator, Hypatia, Pelagius, 
 Synesius, Cyrill, Orosius, Socrates, &c. 
 
 425 Theodosius establishes public schools at Constantinople, and attempts 
 
 the restoration of learnijig. 
 
 426 The Romans, reduced to extrenn'ties at home, withdraw their troops 
 
 from Britain, and never return ; advising the Britons to arm in their 
 own defence and trust to their own valour. 
 
 427 Pannonia recovered from the Huns by the Romans. 
 Tiie Vandals pass into Africa. 
 
 42S The French defeated by ^tius. 
 
 432 St. Patrick preached the gospel in Ireland. 
 
 433 The season of Advent was first observed. 
 
 439 Genseric, the Vandal, takes Carthage, and begins the kingdom of the 
 Vandals in Africa. 
 
 413 The Britons, subject to the Romans, being terribly distressed by the 
 Scots and Picts, invite the Saxons into England for their assistance. 
 These barbarous Heathens, from time to time, assisted by their coun- 
 trymen from Germany, ruin the British church, and nmider most of 
 the ancient Britons, except a small handful in Wales. Soou after the 
 Saxons become a kind of Christians. 
 
 447 Attila, king of the Huns, ravages Europe. 
 
 449 Vorligern, king of the Britons, invites the Saxons into Britain, against 
 
 the Saxons and Picts. 
 
 450 Theodosius the Second dies, and is succeeded by Marcianus, 
 Zozinms, Nestorius, Theodoret, Sozomen, Olympiodorus, &c. flourished. 
 
 452 The city of Venice first began to be known. 
 
 454 Death of Vaientinian the Third, who is succeeded by Maximus for two 
 
 months, by Avitus for ten, and after an inter-regnum of ten months, 
 by Majorianus. 
 
 455 Rome taken by Genseric in July. 
 The kiudom of Kent first established. 
 
 The Saxons liaving repulsed the Scots aud Picts, invite over more cf 
 their countrymen, and begin to establish themselves in Kent, undei 
 Hengist. 
 45(> Tbe Suevi defeated by Theodoric on tjie Ebro. 
 
 ■4 W2
 
 636 A new Chronology of remarkable Events^ Discoveries, 
 
 AJter Christ. 
 
 457 filyrciaiius dies, and is succf^edfd hy Leo, surnained tlie Tliracian. 
 
 Voriiinei 'iereated by Htngist, at Crayford, in Kent. 
 46! Stveru^ succeeds in the \ve>ti rii em{)ire. 
 
 4()3 The (lasc.iial cj.c^e ot'.53'I )ortrs, invented by Victorius, of Aquitain. 
 467 Anlheniiii. ^^uccetds in the \vtst(.rn empire, after an inter-regnum of 
 
 two years. 
 472 Olybriux succeeds Anlhrm'u?, and is succeeded the next year, by Gly- 
 cerins, and Glyceiius b\ Nepos. 
 474 N-p*'S is succeeded by AukujSuIus. 
 
 Leo junior, son of Aniulnt, tUough an infant, succeeds his grandfather 
 Leo in the eastern empire, and some montlis after, is succeeded by 
 his father Ztno. 
 476 Aniinslu'us the last emperor is deposed by the Heruli, and other Bar- 
 barians, which he liad disbaiided from his army, headed by Odoacer, 
 whom, tiioui/;h bnt a private soldier of tlie guards, they liad chosen 
 for their seneral or king. 
 About this time the empire began to consist of ten particular sovereign- 
 ties 
 The western empire is destroyed by Odoacer, king of Heruli, who 
 
 assumes trie title of kiiiii ot Italy. 
 Eutyches, Prosper, Victorius, and Sidonius Apollinaris flourislted. 
 Hen^ist's treacherous massacre of 300 English nobles at an entertain- 
 ment at Stonehtnge. 
 
 479 Constantine, king of Scotland, slain by a noblen)an, for ravishing his 
 
 dauijhter. 
 
 480 Constantinople partly destroyed by an earthquake, which lasted forty 
 
 days at intervals. 
 485 The battle of Soissons and victory of Clevis over Siagrius the Roman 
 
 general. 
 491 Alter the death of Zeno in the east, Ariadne married Anastasius, sur- 
 
 named the Silintiary, who ascends the vacant throne. 
 493 Theodorir, kinc of the Ostrogoths, revolts ab^tut this time, and conquers 
 
 Italy from the Hernii, 
 Boethius and Synuuachus flourish. 
 Odoacer is reduced, and treacherously murdered by Theodoric king of 
 
 the Goths, who seizes on his territory ; but about sixty years after, in 
 
 A. D. 553, this kinsdom of the Goths i« reduced l<y Narces, the 
 
 famed •general of Justinian, the empeioroflhe eastern parts of the 
 
 Riinran empire. 
 496 Christianil) enibraied in France by the bapti?m ofClovis. 
 50i 111' BiUiJiiixriiau Unvs pubii-hed by Kin;; Gondtbaud. 
 507 Al.ir.'c v'fcleiit-(i ii Cl.ivis, at the b<itMe of Vorcille, near Poitiers. 
 5fc8 Prince '^rlhur ht-gins i;is reign o\er thf Britons. 
 510 Paris luadt t.c caj-ital t.t the Fr« nch dominions, 
 5.4 Con^iaiiin*'! le besiejied I" Vnuiiruu?, whose fleet is burned with a 
 
 brazen sperulnm by Pi otitis. 
 516 The c>)mt.uini.. of time by the Christian era, introduced first by 
 
 Dii'iiy^ius 
 5)8 Jiistui til F.rst, a iieasant of Diilm;\tia, makes hin)self emperor. 
 ^]y Kounu l*»bie oiUtr of knigtilhood began.
 
 Inventions, ^c. from the Creation, to the present Time. 637 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 527 Jusfinimi llie First, nephew of Justin, succeeds. 
 
 Uiuler his clorious reign fiouriah'Ml Belisariiis, Jornaiules, Paul the silen- 
 ti.uv, Sinipiicus, Dionvsius, Piocopius, ProcJus, Narses, &c. 
 
 528 Swearing on liie Gospels first used. 
 
 520 Justiniiin publishes his celebiattd code of laws and four vears after his 
 
 digest. 
 531 University of C<'.mbri;l£fe first chartered. 
 5'2i Mcrietic, king of Irelanfl, drowned in a hogshead of wine. 
 534- Conquest of Africa by Brllisarius, and thut of Rome, two years after, 
 538 Itniy is invaded bv the l<'ranks. 
 642 The Roman consulship is suppressed by Justinian. 
 543 A great plague whicii arose ia Africa, and desolated Asia and Europe. 
 545 The beginning of thv; Turkish empire in Asia. 
 54/ The kingdom of XortluMiiberland began. 
 
 Koine taken and pillaged by Totila. 
 551 The manuficture of silk introduced from India into Europe by monks. 
 553 Defeat and death of Totila, the Gothic king of Italy. 
 557" A terrible plague all over Europe, Asia and Africa, which continued near 
 
 fifty years. 
 565 Justin the Second, son of Vigilanii, the sister of Justinian, succeeds. 
 568 Part of Italy conquered by the Lombards from Paunonia, who form a 
 kingdom there. 
 
 Crosses first set upon steeples. 
 578 Tiberius ihe Second, an officer of the imperial guards, is adopted, and 
 
 soon after, succeeds. 
 581 Lfitin ceases to be the laujinage of Italy about this time. 
 583 The M« r(:ian kit!gd(Mii btgan. 
 
 Maurice, the Cappa'.iocian, son-in-law of Tiberius, succeeds. 
 5S7 The invention of anchors. 
 590 The laws of the lam! translated into Saxon. 
 
 Gregory the First, surnajned llie Great, fills St. Peter's chair at Rome. 
 
 The few men of learning who flourished the latter end of this ceniurv, 
 
 ■ were Giidas, Agatliias, Gregory of fours the father of French history, 
 Evagrius and St. Au<iustin the Monk. 
 
 596 The first Clinstian burial-place in Britain. 
 
 Canterbury ni.idr the metropolitan archbishopric by St. Augustin. 
 
 597 Augustin the Monk, with forty others, comes to preach Christianity in 
 
 EnsrUuid. 
 600 About tins time the Saxon Heptarchy bejan in England. 
 
 Feodal or Feudal System introduced by ihe Saxons. 
 60'2 Phocas, a simple centurion, is elected emperor, after the revolt of the 
 
 soldiers, arfM the murder of Maurice and of his children. 
 
 605 The first establishment of the court of chancery. 
 
 606 The power of die Popes be. in to be established by the concessions of 
 
 Plioras. 
 After the Roman bishops had long, and chiefly for the last 300 vears, 
 by force or fraud, strugL'led for the supremacy over the whole Ciiris- 
 lian church, B<tiiiface the Third, by fiatlery of the base Phocas, 
 emperor of Constaiitinop le, procures hin)self the character of universal 
 bishop: and from this lime we dale the rise of Anlichriit.
 
 638 A new Chronology of remarliahle Events, Discoveries, 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 606 Mahomef, the eastern impostor, commenced bis pretences to a super- 
 natural mission and character; but it was some jears after before be 
 made his public appearance. 
 
 610 Laws published in the Saxon tongue. 
 St. Paul's, in London, built. 
 
 Heraclius, an officer ^of Africa, succeeds, after the murder of the usurper 
 Phocas. 
 
 611 The conquests of Chosroes, king of Persia, in Syria, Egypt, Asia Minor 
 
 and afterwards his siege of Rome. 
 61 4 The Persians take Jerusalem, with the slaughter of ^0,000 men, and the 
 
 next year tliey over-run Africa. 
 Westminster Abbey built. 
 622 Mahomet, the false prophet, flies from Mecca to Medina, in Arabia, in 
 
 the 44th year of his age, and tenth of his ministry, when he laid the 
 
 foundation of the Saracen empire, and from whom the Mahometan 
 
 princes to this day claim their descent. His followers compute their 
 
 time from this era, which in Arabic is called Hegira, i. e. the Flight. 
 f)C?6 Constantinople is besieged by the Persians and Arabs. 
 62S The first stone church built at Lincoln. 
 
 York cathedral built. 
 632 Tlie Mahometan Saracens conquer and put an end to the kingdom of 
 
 Persia, after it had for 400 years been a terrible scourge to the Roman 
 
 empire. 
 The death of Mahomet. 
 C))7 Jerusalen) taken by the Saracens. 
 6,40 Parishes in England first laid out, being 45,000, afterwards reduced to 
 
 8700. 
 Alexandria, in Egypt is taken by the Saracens, and the grand library 
 
 there burnt by order of Omar, their caliph or prince. 
 641 Constanline the Third, son of Heraclius, in partnership with Heracleo- 
 
 nas, his brother by the same father, assumes the imperial purple. 
 
 Constant irie reigns 103 days, and after his death his son. 
 Constantine's son Constans is declared emperor, though Heracleonus, 
 
 with his mother Martina, wished to continue in possession of the 
 
 supreme power. 
 648 Cyprus taken by the Saracens. 
 6'53 The Saracens take Rhodes, and destroy the Colossus, 
 
 London first made a bishopric. 
 664 Glass invented in England by Benalt, a monk. 
 66'6 Pope Vitalian orders public prayers be performed in the Latin tongue, 
 
 and so marks the western churches with an implicit subjection to 
 
 Rome. 
 6()8 Constantine the Fourth, surnamed Pogonatus, succeeds on the murder 
 
 of his father in Sicily. 
 
 669 The Saracens ravage Sicily. 
 
 670 Building with stone brought into England by Bennet, a monk. 
 
 67^ Constantinople besieged by the Saracens, whose fleet is destroyed by 
 
 the Greek fire. 
 6^7 Rochester burnt by Ethelred, king of Mercja,
 
 Inventions^ 8fc. from the Creation, to the present Time, 639 
 
 AJter Chriat . 
 
 6"S5 Juslinian the Second, sucreeds his f.ither Constantiiie. In his exile of 
 ten years, the purple was usurpecJ by Leontius and Absimerus Tibe- 
 rius. His restoration happened 704. 
 The only men of learning; in this century were Secundns, Isidorus, 
 
 Tlieoph_>lactus, Geo. Pisidcs, Callinicns, and the venerable Bede. 
 The Britons, after a brave struggle of near 150 years, are totalJv ex- 
 pelled by the Saxons, and driven into Wales and Cornwall. 
 690 Pepin engrosses the power of the whole French monarchy. 
 60^ The Thames frozen for six weeks, so as to build booths upon it. 
 701 A storm at Lincoln which threw down above 100 houses. 
 709 Silver plate first used by Welford, bishop of Northumberland. 
 AtVica finally conquered by the Saracens. 
 
 711 Bardanes, surnauied Phillippicus, succeeds at Constantinople, on the 
 
 murder of Justininan. 
 
 712 Great contention about the worship of images began in the church. 
 
 While the eastern emperors, Leo Isauricus, Constantius Copronymus, 
 and Cliarles the Great of France and Germany, and multitudes of the 
 clergy opposed it, the Popes and others promoted it. 
 
 713 Spain is conquered by the Saracens. 
 
 Accession of Artemius, or Anastasius the Second, to the throne. 
 715 Anastasius abdicates, and is succeeded by Theodosius the Third, who, 
 
 two years after, yields to the superior influence of Leo the Third, the 
 
 first of the Isaurian dynasty. 
 717 Second but unsuccessful siege of Constantinople by the Saracens. 
 727 Tax called Peterpence began by Ina, kingof Wessex, to support a college 
 
 at Rome, 
 732 Saracens defeated by Charles Martel, between Tours and Pointiers, ia 
 
 October. 
 
 739 A famine all over England, Wales and Scotland. 
 
 740 Church-yards first admitted into cities. 
 
 74.1 Constantine the Fifth, surnnmed Copronymus succeeds his Father Leo. 
 
 74.2 Six hundred cities destroyed by earthquakes. 
 
 746 The Creed, Lord's Prayer, &c. translated into Saxon. 
 Scripture ordered to be read in British monasteries. 
 Dreadful pestilence for three years over Europe and Asia. 
 
 748 The computation of years from the birth of Christ, first used in historical 
 
 writings. 
 
 749 Learning encouraged by the race of Abbas Caliph of the Saracens. 
 
 750 The Merovingian race of kings end in p>ance. 
 
 751 Organs first brought to Europe, and used in churches. 
 
 752 Pope Zacharias begins to dispose of kingdoms, and gives away the king- 
 
 donj of France from the true heir and line, to Fepin, whose young 
 master, king Childeric, is shut up in a monastery. In return of which, 
 Pepin, about four yf ars after, assists Po))e Stephen to commence a 
 civil prince of the duchy of Rome, and places a dj-.^cent ; and Charles 
 the Great, the son of Pepin, having by the pope's assistance, seizctj 
 the kingdom of the Lombards, confirms the Pope's civd right to Jiis 
 territories, and adds thereto; nay, kisses the steps of the stair as lie 
 went up to the Pope. 
 75S Burials first 'dllowed in church-vards.
 
 640 A new ChronxHofjy of remarhahle Events^ Discorerhs, 
 
 4fler Christ. 
 
 7()0 Tlie empire of the Saracens was in its }iiiiicipHl grandeur, 
 
 762 Bafidud btiilt, and made the capital of the Cdliphs of the bouse of Abb?s. 
 A phimie in Eiiijland. 
 
 763 A violent frost for 150 davs from October to Ftbruary. 
 
 770 Monasteries dissolved in the east bv Coiistaniine. 
 
 771 The pla;^iie at Cliichester, of which 34,000 died. 
 
 774, Pavia taken by CharlenwKne, w!iicli ends the kingdom of tlie Loni- 
 
 bards, after a duration of ♦2o6 yt^ars. 
 775 Leo the Foul th, sen of Constant inc, succeeds, nnd five years after, is 
 
 succeeded by his wife Iret«?, and iiis son Constantine the Sixth. 
 7S() Pleadinj^ intr(»(lured into Enj>lisi) courts of judicature. 
 
 788 Plague in the « ity of Canterburv. 
 
 789 The custom of ph-dning in driiikiuij began. 
 
 790 Trunipels fn>t sounded before En<^li^h kings. 
 792 A iamine in Wales and Sculland. 
 
 795 Tlie Danes (irst visited the coasts of Scotland and Ireland. 
 
 797 ^renc murders her eon and lei^^nsaloiip. 
 
 The only men of kMrniuf: in tl.is century were Johannes Damasccniis,, 
 Frede;;aire, AlcuiiMis, Piiulus Dincouus, and George the lyunk. 
 
 SOO After reducinj; the kini^dom of Frnnce, and (^real part of Germany, 
 Charles the GivHl has the title of emperor confirmed to him by the 
 Pope. 'J his is the rise of the Cierman empire. Afterwards we find 
 the German electors contiinud in tlieir power by the Pope ; ami se- 
 veral «if the emperors deposL'd when they ili\p!ea>«d his holiness. 
 Charlemagne, kini,' of Fianc*', bi-j^in.s the empire ut (iermany, aiterwards 
 called the western empire. 
 
 ' L'ives the present names to the winds and months. 
 
 endeavours to restore learning in Europe ; but uiankiiid are 
 
 not yet di^prised for it. 
 The Norman iii\'a$ions now commenred. 
 
 801 Egbert ascends the lhr»»ne of Enslaiid, but the total reduction of the 
 SaNun Heptarchy is not etlerted until '^(J years after. 
 
 80'3 Nicephorus the First, pieat ireu'-un-r of the empire succeeds. 
 
 807 The Danes first landed in Ireland, and destto}C(l Roscommon. 
 
 S'.'9 Ord^r of St. Andrew in Scotland instiiule<l. 
 
 81 1 Slauiacius, son of Nirephorus, and Michael the First, surnamed Rhan- 
 i:abe, the husband of Pric ipii, s sl(rof Stanracius, assume the purple. 
 
 813 1 CO the Fi'th, the Aimenian, though but an ollicer of the palace, ascends 
 the throne (^f ConstantinopI':'. 
 
 810 Leariiiiiir encouraged among the Saracens by Alinanion, who made ob* 
 setvations on ihe sun, <!lc. 
 
 S20 Title of king ol Fngland first used. 
 
 Claude, bisliop of 'lurin, with great boldness and success, propagates 
 the truth in opposition t') Popery. Multitudes about Savoy and Pied- 
 mont tmbrice and adiiere to it 
 
 821 Michael the Second, the rhraciii), surnamed the Stammerer, succeeds, 
 lifter file murder of Lro. 
 
 823 The Saracens t>f Spain lake Crete, which they call Candia. 
 
 820" Il.trohl, king of Dtiimaik, uelhroned by his subjecU for being a 
 Christian.
 
 Inrentlons^ S;c. from tlie Creation to tJie present Time. 641 
 
 AJter Christ. 
 
 S'27 Egbert, by an edict, orders all t!ie south part of the island to be culled 
 
 England. 
 The Almagest of Ptolemy translated into Arabic, by order of Al- 
 
 manion. 
 8?9 Theophilus succeeds his father Michael. 
 S3() The Fieniin;»5 trade to Scotland for fi<h. 
 SoS The Scots and V'uls have a decisive battle, in which the former prevail, 
 
 and both kinfidoms are united by Kenneth, which begins the second 
 
 period of the Scottish history. 
 839 Origin of the Russi.rti monarchy. 
 
 Orkney Lies sold by Denmark to Scotland, 
 S42 Michael the Third,' succeeds his father Theophilus with his mother 
 
 Theodora. 
 851 TJje Danes landed at the mouth of the Thames and took Canterbury 
 
 and London. 
 Dublin taken by the Danes. 
 S53 The Normans f»et possession of some cities in France. 
 8()7 Michael is murdered and succeeded by Basil the First, the Macedonian, 
 
 The Danes begin their rav■a^es in Fni^land. 
 872 Clocks first brouj;ht to Constanlinople from Venice, 
 880 Alfred recovers England from the Danes. 
 882 Aldermen fust appointed. 
 885 Alfred repairs the city of London. 
 SS() Basil is succeeded by his son Leo the Sixth, the philosopher. 
 
 In this century flourished Mesne, the Arabian r;liysici.in, E^inhavd, 
 
 Rabanus, Albumasar.. Godescalchus Hincn.arus, Od,-, Photitis, John 
 
 Scotiis, Anastasius, the librarian, Alfraganus, Albategni, lUgi.ion, 
 
 and John Asser. 
 8S7 Paris besieged by the Normans, and hravely defended by Bish >p Gosiiti. 
 8y6" Alfred the Great, after subduing the Danisti invaders (a^Rii.-st whom he 
 
 fniyht fifty-six baules by sea and land) cor.nwses his body of laws;' 
 
 divfdes England info counties, hundreds, and tythings; erects county 
 
 courts and founds the imiversity of Oxford. 
 SQ7 Knighthood first used in En:;land. 
 yoo Death of Alfred, king of En-jlaniJ, after a reign of thirty years. 
 
 910 The Saracens were divided into a vast number of sovereignties, and 
 
 their empire much weakened. 
 
 911 Alexander, brother of Leo, succeeds with his nephew Constantine the 
 
 Seventl), surnamed Porpliyrogenitus. 
 
 912 The Normans estahlisli themselves in France, under PtoUo. 
 915 Doomsday-hook began, 
 
 Cambridge Uuiversitv founded. 
 919 Romanus the Firstl surnamod Lec«pe«n3, general of the fleet, usurps 
 the throne, with his three sons, turistopher, Stephen, and Constan- 
 tine the Eighth. 
 A storm which destroyed above 40 houses in Cambridge. 
 923 The river Thames fiuzcn for 13 weeks. 
 
 Fiefs established in France. 
 015 Coroners became officers of the realm. 
 
 933 Constantine llLking of Scotland, lesigned his crown and became monk. 
 
 4 N
 
 6i2 A neiv Chronohgy of remarliahle Events^ Discoveries^ 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 936' Sarncen empire divided by usurpation into seven kingdoms, 
 
 <)4.2 Niiplcs seizeii by the Ea^ftrii emperors. 
 
 Ireland over-run by the Danes. 
 944. A storm in Lond. n, wliich threw down 1500 houses. 
 
 945 The son< of RomuiHis conspire aj;ainst their father, and the tumults thif 
 
 occasioned producc<l the restoration of Porph^rogenitus, 
 
 946 Theft made punishable with death. 
 
 9^7 The Danes are overcome in battle by the Irish. 
 
 951 Southampton nearly destroyed in a storni by lightning. 
 
 954 A plague in Scotland which destroyed 40,000 persons. 
 
 ^^^ Ronianos the Second, son of Constanline tlie Seventh, by Helena, the 
 
 dauiihter of Lecapenus, succeeds. 
 f)60 The (irsl tunable set of bells liung up at Croyland Abbey, 
 
 963 Romaiius, poisoned by his wife Thophana, is succeeded by Nicepborus 
 
 Phocas the Second, whom the en)press, unable to reign aloue under 
 the title of protectress of her young children, had married. 
 
 964 St. Paul's, London, burned. 
 
 Itiily conquered by Ortho, and united to the German empire. 
 
 968 Bells first consecrated. 
 
 969 Nicephorus, at. the instigation of Theophana, is murdered by Joha 
 
 Zinusces, who assunies the purple. 
 
 970 Division of Wales into North, South and Powis Land. 
 
 97 I Tribute of wolves' heads paid to England by the Welsh. 
 i)15 Pope Roniface VIL is deposed and banished for his crimes. 
 
 Basil the Second, and Constanline the Ninth, the two sons of RomaDU?, 
 by Theophana, succeed on the death of Zimisces. 
 
 979 Coronation oaths first used in England. 
 
 .Juries first instituted, and customs first collected. 
 
 980 Stone buildings introduced into Englaml. 
 982 Great pint of London destroyed by fire. 
 984 England invaded by the Welsh. 
 
 987 The third or Capetiaii race of kings in France, begins July 3d. 
 
 ^^\ Tbe fitjures in arithmetic are brought into Europe by the Saracens frooi 
 
 Arabia. Letters of the alphabet were hitherto used. 
 f)^S The empire of Germany first made elective by Otho IIL 
 
 The learned jucn of this century were Eudes de Cluni, Azophi, Luit- 
 
 prand, Alfarabius, Rh»zes, Geber, Abbo, Almoin, and Gerbert. 
 S99 Boleslaus, first king of Px.land. 
 1000 Paper made of cotton rags was in use ; that of linen rags in 1 1 70: the 
 
 manufactory introduced into England at Dariford 1388. 
 1002 A general massacre of the Danes in England, oh Sunday Nov. 13. 
 1004 Norwich destroyed by Swain of Denmark. 
 J005 All the old cliurches rebuilt, 
 
 A famine in England. 
 1008 The Danes subdue great part of England, 
 loil Canterbury Cathedral burnt by the Danes, and nine-tenths of the i*" 
 
 habitants destroyed. 
 
 1014 Flanders inundattd in consequence of a violent storm. 
 
 1015 Children forbiddeu by law to be sold in England. 
 10 lb" London bridge built of wood. 
 
 1017 Canute is fully established kinj; of England.
 
 Tmetithns, S^c. from the Creation to the present Time. 043 
 
 4/ter Chri»t. 
 
 1018 Aiiijual amount of the land-tax in England, 82,0001. 
 
 1020 T|,e Danes settled in Scotland, 
 
 102 5 Coristaudne become sole emperor on the death of bis brother. 
 
 10-27 Wiliiani duke of Normandy born. 
 
 1028 Ro.nanus the Third, surnamed Argyru?, a patrician, succeeds by marry- 
 ing Zoe, the dajifihler of {he late monarch. 
 
 1032 .Scotland divided into baronies. 
 
 1034 Zoe, after prostituting herself to a Paphlagonian money lender, causes 
 her husband Rmuanus to be poisoned, and afterwards marries her 
 favourite, who ascends the throne under tlie name of Michael the 
 Fourth. 
 
 103.5 The kingdom of Castiles and Arragon began. 
 
 1040 The Danes, after several engagements, with various success, arc about 
 
 this time driven out of Scotland, and never again return in a hostile 
 manner; 
 
 1041 The first sermon preached at the coronation of Edward the Confessor. 
 . The Saxon line restored under Edward the Confessor. 
 
 Zoe adopts for her son Michael the Filth, the trade of whose father 
 (careening vessels) had procured him the surname of Calapliafes. 
 
 1042 Zoe, and her sister Theodora, are made sole empresses by the populace, 
 
 but after two months, Zoe, though 6"0 years old, takes for her third 
 husband. Const antine the Tenth, who succeeds. 
 
 1043 The Turks, (a nation of adventurers from Tartary, serving hitherto in 
 
 the armies of contending princes) become formidable, and take pos- 
 session of Persia. 
 
 1047 A famine in Scotland which continued for two years. 
 
 104S An earthquake at Worcester and Derby. 
 
 lOoQ The Seljukian Turks, who had, for almost 300 years before, been pour- 
 ing themselves from the north-east into Persia, Mesopotamia, Arn«e- 
 nia, &c. erected the four sultanies or kingdoms of Bagdad, Damascus, 
 Aleppo, and Iconium, not far from the Euphrates. But some place 
 the erection of Tangrolipix king«}oni in Persia, A. D. 1033, or 1037, 
 and his conquest of Bagdad, in 1041. 
 Broad Seal of England first used. 
 
 1051 William, duke of Normandy, visited king Edward. 
 
 1 052 The Court of Hustings granted to the city of London. 
 1054 Leo IX. the first pope that kept up an arniv. 
 
 After the death of Constantine, Theodora recovers the sovereignty, and 
 J5 months after, adopts, as her successor, Michael the Sixth, sure 
 named Stratiotieus. 
 
 1057 Isaac Con)menus the First, chosen emperor by the soldiers. 
 Malcolm III. king of Scotland, killed the tyrant and usurper Macbeth, 
 
 1058 King Edward the Confessor, the first who touched for the kiiig's evil. 
 
 1059 Isaac Commenus abdicates, and when iiis brother refuses to succeed 
 
 him, he appoints his friend Constauline the Eleventh, surnamed 
 Ducas. 
 
 1060 French language and customs fir>t used in England. 
 1063 The river Ihames frozen 14 weeks. 
 
 1065 Jerusalem conquered by the Turks from the Saraceus., 
 l-aws of £dwai:d the Coxifcssor composed. 
 
 4 N 2
 
 611 A new Chrovology of remarliahle Events, Discoveries, 
 
 Jfter Christ. 
 
 106'5 S<'aling deeds and charters first in England. 
 Westinmsler Ai>hey itbiiilt. 
 
 30(56 Tljebaltle of Kastini-s, fouijlif between Harold and William, (surnamed 
 the baslavd) duk*- of Moirrsandv, in wliich Harold ib coiiqucred and 
 sIhIo, after vviiirh Wiiiiaiu becomes king of Unjiland. 
 
 1067 On the dcaih of Diicas, his uift? Eudocia, instead of protecting his 
 
 three soiis, Miciiat!, Andronicus, and Constaiitine, usurps the so- 
 vereignty, and uiarried IJomanus the Third, sujnanied Diugmes* 
 
 Th^- Cinque Forisliist a))j».<intcd. 
 
 Tlie ciiy ot i>;cter rt-fnsed allegiance, but compelled to submit, 
 
 1068 England divided into baronies. 
 Curfi'w bell eslabilibed. 
 
 1070 Wiiliani iiiiroduccs I he feudal law; 
 IMu-ical notes invented. 
 
 1071 Ronianu> bring taken prisoner by llie Turks, the three yonng princes 
 
 asrend the throne, nnder the name of Michael Parajyinaces the 
 Sevonti), Andronicus the first, and Constautine the Twelfth. 
 
 1072 The bi>iiop) niavlc br.rons. 
 Vice of sui'uring introduced. 
 
 1074 The first beheading of aldermen in England. 
 
 1075 Henry IV^. cni'ieror of Germany and tlie Pope quartel about the nomi- 
 
 nation of the German bishops. Henry, in penance, walks barefooted 
 to the pope, towards the end of January, 
 
 1076 Justices of the peace first a})pointed in England. 
 Bislioj.rirAS renjovcd from villages to great towns. 
 
 1077 Eondon much damaged by fire. 
 107s Towei of London built. 
 
 The general Nicephorus Botaniates the Third, assumes the purple. 
 1079 Court ot ENche(|uer instituted, and sherilTs first appointed. 
 
 1 lit Jews first arrived in England. 
 
 The Ntw Forest in Hamjishire began to be made. 
 30S0 Doomvda) book begun to be compiled from a general survey of the 
 
 estates of England, and finished in six years. 
 lOSl Alexius tlie Ciimmenus First, nephew of Isaac the First, ascends tlie 
 throne. His reign is rendered illustrious by the pen of his daughter, 
 the princess Aiuja Commtna. 
 
 The "Normans, under Robert of Apulia, invade the eastern empire. 
 lOSi Asia Minor finally conquered by the Turks. 
 1087 Accession of William the H. to the English throne. 
 
 Tlie first English stone bridge at Bow, near Stratford. 
 
 Gold firsi coii!e(i in England. 
 
 A famine in England. 
 
 A lire in London, 
 loss Uobcrt, duke of Normandy, conspires against England. 
 
 Tl'.p Danes from Dublin burnt Waterford in Ireland. 
 1090 An earthquake in England, followed by scarcity. 
 
 The ;Sorman rebellion extinguished. 
 
 Cor|)orations bigan in England. 
 
 London nil thfu paved. 
 
 Feudal system introduced into Scotland,
 
 InreniionSy SfC.from the Creation to the present Tinte. 64*5 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 1091 The Saracens in Spain, hemg hfvrd pressed by the Spaniards, call to 
 their assistance Jo«epl:, kti;;, of Moroccc* ; by wliicii the Moors get 
 possession of alt the S^i'riceu 'iomlHions in Spain. 
 A violent storm in Ei'glair.'?. hy whirb .^00 houses are thiown down and 
 Bow Church in Loncm uH)of«>Ii-i, the cuuicii stteple and n.any 
 houses thrown dv \vn at Old Saruni, and V. inciietscon»b church 
 steeple, in Gloucestersiiire, ti.rown <!\)vvn. 
 
 10p5 The Welsh rthel, iMjd d<'fear li.f Norman* ai.d English. 
 
 1096 The European Chri'^tians be;4!i; (heir mad expeditions or croisades for 
 the recovery of C<tpa3n irom the Turks and othei' MaluMnctans. At 
 the expence of n>any iuillions of liVts, this war is to no purpose car- 
 ried on for ahom 200 years. 
 The Seljukian Turks not a little liarrassed the Constantinopolitan em- 
 pire. 
 
 1099 Jerusalem taken by iho crusrid«r.s l5th July. 
 
 The only learned men of this cer.tiiry were Avicenna, Guy d'Arezzo, 
 Glaber, Herman. uis, Franco, Peter, Daniiani, Mich-iel Celiilarius, 
 Geo. Cedrenus, Betenger, Fst-IIus, ^iaiii^inus, Scotus, Aizachel, 
 William of Spires, Suidas, Peter the Hermit, and Sigebert, 
 
 1100 Tower of London walled in. 
 Curfew bell abolished alter 32 years. 
 Taxes raised arbitrarily. 
 
 Coats of arms and hf-raldry introduced. 
 
 Goodv\in Sands tirsl forni^^d, the isea overflowing 4000 acres. 
 
 Privilege of making wills granted. 
 
 Henry the !. succeeds to the throne of England. 
 
 1101 Silver coin first made round. 
 
 The measure of an ell or yaril fixed by Henry the First's arm. 
 
 1102 Gloucester abbey, and ihe city of Winchester burned. 
 1 107 The first king's speech delivered by Henry I. 
 
 1109 Land-tax of Engiu. id three shillines per hide. 
 
 1110 Edgar Atheling, the last of the Saxon princes, dies in England, where 
 
 he had been ptrmitted to reside as a subjtct. 
 Cambridge University revived. 
 
 1111 A great mortality among men and cattle. 
 
 1114 Several briciges, at that time of limber, destroyed by frost. 
 
 1115 St. Stephen's, now the House of Comuions, built. 
 
 1116 Parliaments first met. 
 
 1 1 1 S Order of Knights Tem})lars estr.blistied. 
 
 Joiin, or Cal'ijohannes, s(>n of Alexius, succeeds at Constantinople. 
 1120 Henry the First's eldest son, and two other children, with ISO nobility, 
 
 shipwrecked and lost in coming from Normaady, 
 1123 Woodstock park the first in England. 
 1127 Churclnvardens and overseers instituted. 
 1132 A fire in London. 
 
 Concubines allowed to the priests. 
 1 135 Accession of Stephen to tl'.e English crown. 
 1137 I>anei;eit, or land-tax, abolished by Stephen, 
 
 A fire in London. 
 
 Loudon bridge built.
 
 ft46 A new Chronology of remnrJiable Events^ Discoveries, 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 1 137 York city, its cathedral and 39 clmrrhes burnt. 
 
 1 138 Appeals to the Pope first mvide from England. 
 1 140 Tlie Guelphs and Gibeiines began. 
 
 An eclipse, Marcli 21, which brought on total darkness. 
 
 Canon law first introduced into England. 
 1143 INIanuel, sou of John, succeeds at Constantinople. 
 ] 147 The second crusade. 
 
 1150 Brittany annexed to the crown of France. 
 
 135 I The canon law composed by Grutian, after 24 yeais' labour.^ 
 
 1153 Eleven hundred castles demolished in England. 
 
 1154 Henry the II. succeeds in England. 
 
 Tiie parly name of Guelphs and Gibbelines begin in Italy. 
 115P Scutage, the first tax in England levied to pay an anny. 
 Il60 Bills of Exchange first nienlioned. 
 
 Thirty German heretics in England famished to death. - 
 The Waldenses in Savoy, Piedmont, and the south of France, become 
 famous in their zealous opposition to Antichrist ; and on that account 
 about a million of them are afterwards murdered by the Papists. 
 
 1 163 London bridge, consisting of \Q small arches, first built of stone, 
 
 1164 Herring-fishing first practised. 
 
 The Teutonic order of religion* knights begin in Germany. 
 11 69 The conquest of Egypt by the Turks. 
 1 17 I Four knights massacre Thomas a Becket. 
 
 Preston guild established. 
 1 J72 Henry II. king of England (and first of the Plantagenets) lakes posses- 
 sion of Ireland ; which, from that period, has been governed by aa 
 English viceroy, or lord-lieutenant. 
 1 174 Henry II, arrived from Normandy, and did penance at Becket's tomb. 
 1176' England divided into circuits, and itinerant judges appointed. 
 1177 A fat ox sold for 12d. a sheep for 4d. provender for 20 liorses 4d. 
 
 and bread for 100 men 12d. 
 1 179 York city again burnt by the Danes. 
 1 ISO Glass windows used in private houses in England, 
 Alexius the II. succeeds his father Manuel. 
 
 1151 English laws digested by Glanville. 
 
 1182 Pope Alexander III. compelled the kings of England and France to 
 hold the stirrups of his saddle when he mounted his horse. 
 
 11S3 From the disorders of the government, on account of the minority of 
 Alexius, Andronicus, the grandson of the great Alexius, is named 
 guardian, but he murders Alexius and ascends the throne. 
 
 1 1 84 Justices in eyre, or of the forests appointed. 
 
 1185 Andronicus is cruelly put to death, and Isaac Angelus, a descendant of 
 
 of the great Alexius by the female line, succeeds. 
 The Knights Templars (bunded the Temple, London. 
 Ireland conquered by the English. 
 
 1 1 86 The great conjunction of the sun and moon, and all the planets, in the 
 
 sign Libra. 
 
 1 1 87 St. Paul's Church built on stone arches, hitherto unknown. * 
 
 1 188 The third crusade and siege of Acre. 
 
 1 189 HeiiJ')' n. died with giicf at the allar, cursiog his sous,.
 
 Inventions^ 4'^. from tlie Creation, to the present Time. 647 
 
 «■*■ ' ■ ■ . -— 
 
 Ajtw Christ. 
 
 1189 Richard the I. succeeds his father Henry in England. 
 
 Jews massacred at the coronation of Richard I. 500 perished at York. 
 Sheriffs in London first appointed. 
 
 1191 Coarse woollen cloth introduced into Enf.'land. 
 
 An eclipse when the stars appeared at ten in the morning, June 22nd. 
 
 1192 The battle of Ascalon, in Judaea, in which Richard, king of England, 
 
 defeats Saladine's army, consisting of 300,000 combatants. 
 Houses in London ordered (to prevent fire^ to beofstuue, and covered 
 with slates. 
 
 1193 Richard L ransomed fof 150,000 marks, or 100,C00^ of our money, 
 Agreat deart'i in England and France, followed by a pestilence which 
 
 held three years, when wbeat sold for 20s. per quarter, equal to 
 61. now. 
 
 1 194 t)ieu et mon Droit first used on Richard's victory over the French. 
 
 1195 Alexius Angelus, brother of Isaac, revolts and usurps the sovereignty, 
 
 by putting out the eyes of the emperor. 
 1 J 99 Interest first mentioned as legal at ten per cent. 
 
 John succeeds to the English throne. 
 
 The learned men of this century were, Peter Abelard, Anna Commena, 
 St. Bernnrd, Averroes, William of Malmesbury, Peter Lombard, 
 Otlio Trisisingensis, Maimonides, Ilumenus, Wernerus, Gratian, 
 Jeoffry of Monmoutli, Tzetzes, Eustathius, John of Salisbury, Simon 
 of Durham, Henry of Huntingdon, Peter Comestor, Peter of Blois, 
 Ranulph Glanville, Roger Hoveden, Campanus, William of New- 
 burgb. 
 J 200 Chimnies first introduced into buildings. 
 
 Surnames now became common in England, 
 
 1201 Cilies first incorporated, 
 
 1202 Assize of bread first appointed. 
 
 1203 The first regular parliament was held. 
 
 The French and Venetian crusaders, in their way to Canaan, drive 
 the usurping emperor of Constantinople from his capital, and retain 
 it, and part of the empire for 57 years. 
 
 Constantinople is besieged and taken by the Latins, and Isaac is taken 
 from his dungeon and replaced on the throne with his sou Alexis. 
 
 This year is remarkable for the fourth crusade. 
 ]204i The father and son are murdered by Alexius IMourzoufle, and 
 Constantinople is again besieged and taken by tite Trench and Vene- 
 tians, who elect Baldwin, count of Flanders, emperor of the east. 
 
 Theodore Lascaris makes himself emperor cf Nice. 
 
 Alexius, grandson of the tyrant Andronicus, becomes emperor of 
 Trebizond. 
 
 Michael, an illegitimate child of the Angeli, founds an empire in Epirus 
 1205 Barons first summoned to puilianRnt. 
 
 A hail storm as large as hen's eggs, which destroyed tlie corn, demolish- 
 ed mary houses, and manv perished. 
 
 The emperor Baldwin is defeated by the Bulgarians, and next vear is 
 succeeded by his brollier Henry. 
 1205 Reign and conquests of the great Zineis Khan, first emperor of tJ]« 
 Moguls and Tartars, until .the time of iii:, death, 12-47.
 
 6lS A new Chronohfjy of remarhable Events^ Discoveries, 
 
 . ■ ' ■ , - — • ■'~~' 
 
 Aji:"!- Christ. 
 
 I'^OS Loudon incorporated, and obfain llicir first charter, for electing their 
 Lord Mayor and cttu^r magistrat-^s, from King John. 
 Bishops bauisiied frum England, by K.ng John. 
 120i) Arisint.t's works imported fro?n CoMstantinople are condemoed b^ the 
 CJ^niicil <>t' Paris. 
 Bui l-b;i:tiiig first practissd at Slsuiford, in Lincolnshire. 
 Lonijon-brid^e (<'f stoijf') fiiii&hed iitUr 2>3 years, 
 1210 Thelarta.rs, under Jenghii'i-khan and iiis sons, over-rnn almost all 
 A->ia, and a part of Europe, and found the three Tartar empires of 
 Persia and Kipzak. 
 Pianns of niarria}.'e ordered to be made public. 
 1^12 Fire on London-bri<lge destroyed 2000 persons. 
 
 1215 Ma2;na Charla signed by King Joiiu, and the barons at Ruimcymead, 
 
 June lotli 
 Court of Commwi Pleas established. 
 
 1216 Wheat sold at J 2d. |)er (juartcr, beans and oats at 4d. 
 Henry III. succeeds his father John on the Engiisli throne. 
 
 12 J7 Peter of Couvtenay, the husband of Yoianda, sister of the two last 
 emperors, Baldwin and Henry, is made emperor by the Latins. 
 
 1220 Salisbury cathedral built. 
 
 1221 Robert, son of Peter Courtenay, succeeds. 
 
 122t Theodore Lascaris is succeeded on the throne of Nice by his son-in-law 
 John Ducas Vataces. 
 
 1226 The pope first collected the tenths of church livings in England, and is 
 
 refused an annual sum from its cathedrals and monastries. 
 Marriages first celebrated in cliurche?. 
 
 1227 The Tartars, a new race of heroes, under Gingis-Khan, emerge from 
 
 the northern parts of Asia, over-run all the Sttracen empire, and, in 
 imitation of former conquerors, carry death and desolation wherever 
 they march. 
 A conspiracy against Henry for cancelling Magna Charta. 
 
 1228 John of Brienne, and Baldwin tbt Second, son of Peter, succeeded on 
 
 the throne of Constantinople. 
 
 1233 The inquisition wlrich had been begun 1204 is now trusted to the Do- 
 
 niioirans. 
 Thunder for 15 days with violent temj^ests of rain. 
 Houses o{ London and other cities stiil thatched with straw. 
 
 1234 Straw used for the kind's bed. 
 Coals discovered near Nf wcaatle.' 
 Cr-ler, called wine, made in England, 
 
 1235 Thames flowed so high, that ihe lawyers were brought out of West* 
 
 minster Hall in boats. 
 123G Leaden pipes for conveying water invented. 
 1237 Water began to be conveyed to London in leaden pipes. 
 
 1240 Origin of the Ottomans. 
 
 1241 The first punjshnier.t of hanging, drawing and quartering. 
 Tin only known in Devon and Cornwall. 
 
 1242 King Henry IH. pledged his crown and jewels on his daughter's 
 
 marriage. 
 AMeiiiiea of London first appointed.
 
 Im^enthns, 8fc. from the Creation to tJie present Time. 649 
 
 AJter ChriHt. 
 
 1 24i TIj'' chancfllor's court established at Oxford, 
 
 124-5 Savov Palace, Strand, London, built. 
 
 124.6' Tilts first Use** in England. 
 
 Houses in London still thatrhed with straw, 
 
 Cijeanside then lay out ot' the city. 
 1C?48 Tht- fiflii crusade 
 
 1252 R(»2er Bacon invented the mnqic lantern. 
 
 1253 A«tr(>ntMi)ical f<d>les c»)ni|)osed by Alplionso the XL of Castile, 
 Linen first made in England 
 
 The Bible divided info chapters. 
 1255 Eighteen Jews hanged, and about 200 heavily fined, formal-practices 
 
 at Lincoln. 
 Tapestry introduced by Sir F. Crano. 
 Ducas Vataces i'^ succeeded on the throne of Nice by his son Tbeodort 
 
 Lascaris the \\. 
 
 1257 Standard weitjhts and measures fixed. 
 Gold first coined. 
 
 1258 The T.irtars take Btgdad, which finishes the empire of the Saraceni. 
 Counties first authorized to send members to parliament. 
 
 125.9 Lascaris succeeded b\ his son John Lascaris, a miner. 
 1200 Ro^er Bacon invented m j<;n:fving glasses. 
 
 MichatI PaliEo'onus. son of the sister of the queen of Theodore Lascarif 
 ascends the throne, after the murder of the young jtiince's guardian. 
 
 1261 Const.mtinople is recovered from the Latins by the Greek emperors of 
 
 Nice. 
 
 1262 Seven hundred Jews slain in London, for demanding more than 2d. 
 
 per week interest on 20s. 
 Thirteen rioters han<;ed of the goldsmiths' and taylors' companies*. 
 
 1263 Acho, king of Norway, invades Scotland with \6o sail and lands 20,000 
 
 men at the mouth of the Clyde, wiio are cut to pieces by Alexander 
 HI. who recovers the western isles. 
 
 1254 The commons of England first summoned to parliament. 
 1266 Cities and boroughs first represented in parliament. 
 
 Assize of bread and ale first established. 
 1269 Jews forbid from eiijoNing freeholds by art of jiarliament. 
 The Hamburgh Company incorporated in England. 
 
 1271 The cathedral and monastery of Norwich burnt, and the rioters exe- 
 
 cuted in the king's pn st-nce. 
 
 1272 The first treaty with foreign nations. 
 Edward L succeeds on the English throne, 
 
 1273 The .first coronation feast in England. 
 Gilding with leaf gold invented. 
 
 The empire of thepr. sent Austrian family begins in Germany. 
 
 1274 Jew moiey-lenders obliged to wear a plate on their breast. 
 Customs on exports and inrports first granted by parliament. 
 
 1275 Usury of Jews restrained by parliament. 
 1275 Statiile of bigamy passed 
 
 1277 Two hundred and sixty-seven Jews hung and quartered for clipping 
 
 the coin. 
 1279 Entailing estates introduced. 
 
 40
 
 65(T A new Chronology of remarliahU Events, DiscoverieSy 
 
 • • ^ ' ' 
 
 AJter Christ. 
 
 1279 Ravishinji; women made a capital offence. 
 The famous Mortmain act passes in England. 
 
 1280 More than 300 houses destroyed by the sea at Winchelsea. 
 The saddlers' company incorporated. 
 
 Charter to Newcastle for digging and using coals. 
 
 1281 Margaret, daughter of the king of Scotland, married to the king of 
 
 Norway. 
 
 1282 Fifty Jews suffered at Northampton for malpractices, and their syna- 
 
 gogues were destroyed. 
 Llewellyn, prince of Wales, defeated and killed by Edward I. who 
 
 unites that principality to England. 
 Eight thousand French murdered during the Sicilian vespers, 30th of 
 March. 
 1284 Edward the First's queen brought to bed at Carnarvon of a son, the 
 first prince of Wales. 
 
 1255 Water brought to London, and Cheapside conduit erected. 
 Fencing schools prohibited in London, as productive of duels. 
 Westminster Abbey rebuilt. 
 
 Alexander IH. king of Scotland dies, and that kingdom is disputed by 
 twelve candidates, who submit their claims to the arbitration of 
 Edward, king of England ; which lays the foundation of a long and 
 desolating war between both nations. 
 
 1256 Title of prince of Wales first conferred. 
 
 Silk mantles first worn by ladies at Kenelworth castle ball, 
 12S7 All the Jews in England seized in one day — 15,660 banished and their 
 
 property confiscated. 
 ICPO Candles of tallow first began to be used. 
 1'391 Barristers first appointed. 
 
 1293 There is a regular succession of English parliaments from this year, 
 being the 22d of Edward L 
 Michael Palecologus dies, and his son Andronicus, who had already 
 
 reigned nine years conjointly with his father, ascends the throne. 
 The learned men of this century are, Gcrvase, Diceto, Saxo, Walter 
 of Coventry, Accursius, Anthony of Padua, Alexander Halensis, 
 William of Paris, Peter de Vigties, Malhew Paris, Grosseteste, 
 Albertus, Thomas Aquines, Bonaventura, John Joinville, Roger 
 Baton, Cimabue, Durandus, Henry of Ghent, Raymond LulH, 
 Jacob Voragine, Albertet, Duns Scotus and Thebit. 
 (3294 Silver nu'nes discovered iu Devonshire. 
 1'296 Edinburgh taken. 
 .1297 Statute relating to taxes and money-bills. 
 
 The first admiral in England. 
 1298 The present Turkish enipire begins in Bithynia, under Ottoman. 
 Silver-hafted knives, spoons, and cups, a great luxury. 
 TallOw candles se gre^t a luxury, that spliners of wood were used for 
 
 lights. 
 Wine sold by apothecaries as a cordial. 
 Whidmills invented. 
 
 A goose sold for 4d. a lanib at Christmas for 6d. at other times 4d. and 
 two pullets for five fthings.
 
 Inventions, if e. from the Creation, to the present Time, 651 
 
 J/ter Chriit. 
 
 1300 Standard for gold and silver fixed by law, 
 
 Chimnies onlv in kitchens or large halls. 
 
 Legal interest CO per cent. 
 1302 The mariner's compass invented or improved by Flavio. 
 
 1304 Edward I. reduced Scotland. 
 
 1305 Coals imported in a quantity from Newcastle to London. 
 1307 Another statute passed for entailing estates. 
 
 Interest of money 45 per cent. 
 The Swiss Cantons begin. 
 Edward II. succeeds to the English crown. 
 130S Translation of the holy see to Avignon, which alienation continued 68 
 years, until the return of Gregory XI. 
 
 1309 A public weighing engine set up in London. 
 
 1310 Lincoln's Inn Society established as an inn of court, heretofore the 
 
 bishop of Chichester's palace. 
 
 1311 The knights templars abolished. 
 
 1314 The battle of Bannockburn, between Edward II. and Robert Bruce, 
 which establishes the latter on the throne of Scotland. 
 The cardinals set fire to the conclave and separate. 
 A vacancy in the papal chair for two years. 
 1*3 IS The greatest earthquake known in England. 
 
 A famine in England. 
 1320 Gold first coined in Christendom ; 1344 ditto in England. 
 
 Andronicus adopts, as bis colleagues, Manuel and his grandson, the 
 younger Andronicus. I^Ianuel dying, Andronicus revolts against his 
 grandfather who abdicates. 
 1322 Battle of Boroughbridge, Yorkshire. 
 1327 Pardons at coronations first granted in England. 
 Edward III. succeeds in England. 
 
 1330 Seventy families of woollen manufacturers invited into England from 
 
 the Netherlands. 
 Gunpowder discovered by a priest. 
 
 1331 Two Brabant weavers settled at York. 
 The first woollen cloth made in England. 
 
 1337 Ti)e first comet whose course is described with an astronomical exactness. 
 Title of duke first given in England to Richard, son of Edward the 
 Black Prince, 
 1339 Sea-fight with the French, 400 sail taken and 30,000 men. 
 Parliament granted 30,000 sacks of wool to the king. 
 Speaker of the House of Commons first chose. 
 ; ' Blankets first made in England, 
 Herald's college instituted. 
 
 King of England assumed the title of king of France, 
 Inner, Middle, and Outer Temple Societies. 
 Edward III. invaded France, and pawned his crown and jewels for 
 
 50,000 florins. 
 Order of the Garter instituted. 
 
 About this time flourished Leo Pilatus, a Greek professor at Florence, 
 Barlaam, Petrarch, Boccace, and Manuel Chrysoloras, where may 
 be fixed the era of the revival of Gre«k literature iu Italy.
 
 {?52 A new Chronology of remarliahle Events, Discoveries, 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 1340 Gunpowder and guus first invented by Swartz, a monk. 
 
 1341 Andronicus is Mirct eded bj his son John Faiie 'higus in the ninth year 
 
 of his age. Joim C.inlaruzene, who had betrii left guardian of ihe 
 
 young prince, assumt-s flie purple. 
 Firxl pvissageof ilie lurks into Europe. 
 iSi'S The kniglits and burgesses of Parliament first sit in the same house. 
 E iward III. made the distinction of Lords and Commons. 
 
 1344 Titles, first granted by patent. 
 
 Statute of premuniie passed, to exclude foreigners from ecclesiastical 
 
 livings. 
 Knighthood of the Round Table revived. 
 Edward the Blarl' Piiitce crtatid i^rince of Wales. 
 
 1345 ^ he second time of c«»ijiiri^ gohl in England. 
 Fust mention «)f apolhecapes in liihlory. 
 
 Escpiire first used b\ persoas of fortune, not attending knight?. 
 134() Tiie battle of c'ressy' 
 
 Edward III, bad four pieces pf cannon, which contributed to gain biiq 
 
 the battle of Cres>;y. 
 Bombs and nmrlars invented. 
 Oil painting first made use of by John Vaneck. 
 The battle of Durham, in which David, king of Scots, is taken prisoner, 
 
 1347 Seditions of Ritnzi at Rome, and bis elevation to the tribuneship. 
 Dearth and famine in England. 
 
 Plague of wliich 50,000 died in London, 1500 in Leicester, &c. 
 
 1348 Rain without one dr> <iay or night from Widsunimer to CbristmasI 
 
 1349 Order of the Gaiter, or St. Ge«>rge, began in England. 
 
 1350 Toll-gates or turnpikesi first in England. 
 Brewers, djers, A;c. began t(» use sea coal for fire. 
 
 1351 Groats and half-gioals the largest English silver coin. 
 
 1353 1 he Strand in London first buiit on. 
 
 A famine and <ieailh in England and France, called the Dear Summer. 
 
 1354 The money m Scotland until now the same as in England. 
 
 1355 Piessing seamen first began. 
 
 Harlots and prostitutes obliged to wear a striped dress. 
 Cantacuzeiie abdicates the purple. 
 
 1356 The battle of Foicliers, in which king John of France and bis son, are 
 
 taken prisoners by Edward the Black Prince. 
 
 1357 Court oi^ Admiralty erected. 
 Herring statute paesed. 
 
 1358 Edward ML quartered the arms of France with England. 
 
 1359 Storm of li'jhining, Ac. whieb killed avast number of horses and lOOQl 
 
 tro«ips of king Edward IIL near Charlres. 
 J 362 Pleadings in English changed from French. 
 
 A very dreadful plague in London. 
 13^4 Lord Mavor of London entertains four kings at bis table, England, 
 France, Scotland, and Cyprus. 
 John, king of France, died a prisoner in England. 
 136s Three clockmakers came from Delft first iuto England, and se^ up ^ 
 
 striking clock in Westminster. 
 136^ WicJilifle first began the Keformation;
 
 Invent hits, 8fc. from tJie Creation to the present Time. 655 
 
 Aftn Christ. 
 
 1370 NVjrkliffe and his f >IIowers m Biifaiii become fanunis for their bold 
 oppesilioii M» Poperv, aii<l Uuir adherence to truth. 
 John Hii'>s and Jerome, of ^'laiiiie, and their Bohemian and other Ger- 
 man lollo\vef>, C(.mnieure tlieir oppoiiliun to Poptry, and are terri- 
 bly persecnted and niurd-red. 
 Rise of Timour, or Tamerlane, to the throne of Saniercand, and hh 
 
 extensive coiicjiiesis lill Ids deatli, aj'u r a reign of 3j years. 
 Order of Golden Shield and Thistle bepan. 
 
 Robert Stewart, liie 100th k'uv^ of Scotland, and first of the name of 
 Stewart, crowned at Scoon. 
 
 1376 DuchN Court of Lvincaster established. 
 
 1377 Accession ofR.iih rd II. to tit English throne. 
 
 Plymouth, Potsmcuth, Hastings and K)e burnt, and Isle of Wight 
 
 taken bv the Fr< iidi. 
 Coronation oath now first introduced. 
 Population of En<ilaiid was 2,092,y78 souls. 
 
 1378 Plays first performed in England. 
 
 1379 A pliJiiue in England. 
 
 13S1 Bills of Exchaniie the only legal mode of sending money from England. 
 13S6 A company of linen weavers, from the >>etherlands, established in 
 
 London. 
 1387 The first high admiral in England. 
 
 138S The battle of Otterburn, between Hotspur and the earl of Douglas, 
 ♦ Duke of Gloucester and other lords icbel, 
 
 English barops Hr>t created. 
 
 The Lord Chief Justice of England executed for favouring Despotism. 
 
 Side-saddles first tistd in England. 
 
 Bishops deprived of being judges in capital offences. 
 
 1389 A sea-fight, wJKrein eigiify French ships were taken by the English, 
 Safi*riin fir^t brou-ht to England by a pilgrim. 
 
 Wine s«»ld at 20s. a ton, the second sort at 13s. 4d. 
 
 A famme in England. 
 
 A remarkable storm on the queen's landing. 
 
 1390 Herring-pi( kiing first invented. 
 Plays performed by parish cleiks. 
 
 1391 Brest given up by the English. 
 
 Cards invented in France for the king's amusement, 
 Manuel succeeds his fither Jol;n Palasologus. 
 1393 Scotcli gold and siUer prohib ted in England. 
 1399 King Richard H. taken prisoner by Henry duke of Lancaster, who 
 
 caused hini to be assassinated in Pontefract castle. 
 Roger, earl of Mar^he, and viceroy of Ireland slain. 
 Copper money used on y in Srotland and Ireland, 
 Accession of Henry the IV. in England. 
 
 Westmin<iter Abbey buiit and enlarged — Wesfrainsler HaH ditto. 
 Order of the Bath institutt d, at the coronation of Henry IV. ; renewed 
 
 in 17-3. consisting of 38 knights. 
 The learned men in this century were Peter Apono, Flavio, Dante, 
 
 Arnoldus Villa, Nicholas Lvra, William Occam, Nicephoras Gre- 
 
 goras, Leontius Pilatus, JVlatthew oi Weslminster,Wickliffe, Ffoissart,, 
 
 Nicholas Flamel, &c.
 
 651 A new Chronology of remarkable Events^ Discoveries, 
 
 After Christ 
 1400 
 
 3401 
 
 14U2 
 
 J403 
 U05 
 
 1406 
 
 J 407 
 1410 
 1411 
 1412 
 
 1413 
 1414 
 1415 
 
 1416" 
 
 U1.7 
 
 1418 
 1420 
 
 1422 
 
 1423 
 1424 
 
 1426 
 J 428 
 
 1429 
 14:^0 
 
 Duke of Exeter's co!>spiracy aoainst kins; Henry discovered. 
 
 Rebellion of the English aisd VVtlsli, and war with Scotland. 
 
 Sea coal in general use xn London. 
 
 Xrtnierlane, with a great army of Tartars, ravages a great part of Asia, 
 and gives the Ottoniiui Turks a most terrible defeat, <tnd cairies 
 about their Emperor Bajazet in an iron cage. 
 
 Wclchmcn forbid purchasing lands in Ei!;:land. 
 
 Battle of Nesbit, when 10,000 Scuts were slaiu. 
 
 Decimal Arithmetic invented. 
 
 Isle of iVlan lirst governed by the earl of Northumberland. 
 
 Thirty-one French ships taken or destroyed near Miltord Haven,' 
 
 A bishop first put to death by the civil power. 
 
 Earl of Northumberland attainted, and the Isle of Man government 
 given to Sir John Stanley. 
 
 Thirty thousand persons died of the plague in London. 
 
 Guildhall in London built. 
 
 The university of St. Andrew's in Scotland founded. 
 
 Judge Gascoigne committed the prince of Wales to prison for assaulting 
 him on the bench. 
 
 Henry IV. is succeeded by his son Henry V. 
 
 Henry V. claimed the crown of France. 
 
 Battle of Agiucourt gained over the French by Henry V. of England, 
 
 Henry V. pledged the regalia for 20,000l. to push his conquests. 
 
 Emperor Sigismond installed in England a Knight of the Garter* 
 
 England invaded by the French. 
 
 Paper made of linen rags now used. 
 
 Henry V. invaded Normandy with 26,000 men. 
 
 Gunpowder first made in England. 
 
 The island of Madeira discoveied by the Portuguest* 
 
 Peace made with France. 
 
 Garter king at arms first appointed in England. 
 
 First conmiission of array to raise a militia. 
 
 Duke of Bedford began his protectorate. 
 
 King Henry died of a pleurisy at Vincenues. 
 
 Henry Vi. succeeds to the throne of England. 
 
 Constantinople is besieged by Amurath JI. the Turkish eraper or. 
 
 Irishmen all ordered out of England* 
 
 Freemasons forbid in England. 
 
 Prohibition of exporting sheep. 
 
 John Palaeologus the Second succeeds his father Manuel. 
 
 Scotland receives the Orkney and Shetland Isles from Denmark. 
 
 Parliament receives petitions against the use of hops. 
 
 The siege of Orleans, the first blow to the English power in France. 
 
 Battles of Herrings and Patay, under Joan of Arc. 
 
 Laurentius of Haileim invented the art of printing, which he practised 
 with separate wooden types. Guttemberg afterwards invented cut 
 metal types: but the art vvas carried to perfection by Peter Schoeffer, 
 who invtntedt he mode of casting types in matrices. Frederick 
 Corsellis began to print at Oxford, iu 1468, with wooden types; but 
 it was Wilham Caxton who introduced into Euglaud the art of 
 printing with Aisile types, in 1474.
 
 Im'entio7ts, ^'c.from the Creation to the present Time. 655 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 1430 A ualional debt was first contracted. 
 
 Foreioners allowed to have one-half foreigners on juries, but not allows 
 
 ed to hold church benefices. 
 Distinction of Gentlemen first in use. 
 1433 First Lord Mayor who went by water, sworn at Westminster. 
 1534 Cosmo de Medici recalled from banish meat, and rise of that family at 
 
 Florence. 
 1435 Duke of Bedford's |>rotectorate ended with his death. 
 
 1438 A staircase fell at Bedfnrd assizes, when eighteen persons were killed. 
 Dearth and famine in England, bread made in many places of fern 
 
 roots and ivy berries. 
 
 1439 The first viscount in England. 
 
 1443 The famous pragmatic sanction settled in France. 
 
 St. Paul's steeple, London, fired, and that of Waltham Cross consumed 
 by lightning. 
 144& Tlie sea breaks in at Dort, in Holland, and drowns 100,000 persons. 
 
 1448 Constantine one of the sons of Manuel, ascends the throne after liis 
 
 brother John. 
 
 1449 French fleet defeated and taken off Sandwich. 
 
 1453 The Lord's Mayor's show, London, instiluted. 
 Guianne, or Gascony, totally lost to England. 
 
 Mahomet the Second, emperor of the Turks, besieges and lakes Con- 
 stantinople, on the 29lh of May. 
 
 Fall of the Eastern empire. 
 
 The captivity of the Greeks, and the extinction of the imperial families 
 of the Conimeni and Palaeologi. 
 
 The House of York in England began to aspire to the crown, and, by 
 their ambitious views, to deluge the whole kingdom in blood. 
 
 The learned men of the fifteenth century were Clraucer, Leo. Aretin, 
 .Tohn Huss, Jerome of Prague, Poggio, Flavins Blondus, Thco. Gaza, 
 Frank Phiielphus, Geo. Trapezuntius, Gemeistus Pletho, Laurenlius 
 Valla, Ulugh Beigh, J. Gutlemberg, John Faustus, Peter Schoefier, 
 Wesselus, Penrbabachius, iEneas Sylvius, Bes«uion, Thomas a 
 Kempis, Argyropulus, Regioraontanus, Piatina, A^jricota, Ponlauus, 
 Ficinus, Lascaris, Tiphernas, Annius of Viterbo, Rlerula, Savonarola 
 Picus, Politian, Hermolaus, Grocyn, Mflntuanus, John Cnlef, 
 Reucliin, Lynacre, Alexander ab Alexandro, Demetrius Clialcon- 
 dyles, &c, 
 
 1454 Attornies in Norwich, Norfolk and Suffolk, reduced from SO to 14. 
 Wheat Is. jier quarter, and njait l6d. 
 
 The university of Glasgow, in Scotland, founded. 
 1457 Pawnbrokers first began. 
 1460 Wood-cuts and a^jraving on copper invented. 
 1462 The first book printed, which was the vulgate bible, 2 vol*. 
 l46"3 Henry VL taken prisoner in Lancashire. 
 ] 4(i5 Dress restrained by law. 
 J 467 First idea of electricity given by tv.o globes of brimstone, 
 
 Lnng-toed shoes forbid under heavy penalties. 
 1471 Willii(in Caxton, a meicer, introduced printiii<j. 
 
 Great mortality at Oxford.
 
 fi56 A new Chronolo/jfff of femarTiahle Ev^nfg^ Discoveries, 
 
 After Clirifit. 
 
 ]47l Clfester nearly d.stioyed by Tire. 
 
 1477 Violins invenied. 
 AI)er'l<"eii university ('omuled. 
 
 A |>l;imie vvlticii destroyed more than fifteen years war* 
 
 1478 Duke of Cinretice drowned in a butt of malmsey. 
 
 1481 Sweritinir sickness first observed in England, whicli carried off great 
 
 numbers. 
 1483 Poimlvit on of England was now 4,688,000. 
 Po8t-hor'»« s and staijes eslablisbcd. 
 Statutes first prmled. 
 
 Richard III. kinij of England, and last of the Plantaqcnels, is defeated 
 and killed at tiie battle of Bosworlli. by Henry (Indor) VII, which 
 puts an end to the civil wars between the houses of York and Lancas- 
 ter, after a contest of 30 years, and the loss of 100,000 men. 
 J486 Sheriff fined 50l. for kneeling too near the Lord Mayor ;.t St. Paul's. 
 Ilenrv establishes fifty yeomen of the guards, the first standing army, 
 1487 Artichokes first planttd in England. 
 
 The first Poet Lauieat. 
 1489 Maps and sea charts first brought to Eniiland by Barth. Columbus. 
 
 1491 William Grocyn publicly teaches the Gre«k lanjjuage at Oxford. 
 
 'Jhe Moors, hitherto a formidable enemy to the native Spaniards, are 
 entirely subdued by Ferdinand, and become subjects to that prince 
 on certain conditions, which are ill observed by the Sj)aniards, whose 
 clersv employ the powers of tiie Inquisition, with all its tortures; 
 and in 1609, near one miilion of the Moors are driven from Sj)ain, 
 to the opposite coast of Africa, from whence they originally came. 
 
 1492 Wormwood, <fec. used before hops, to preserve nialt-hquor. 
 War with France. 
 
 Columbus first discovers America. 
 
 1493 Columbus discovers Montserrat, in the VTest-Indjes. 
 Wheat sold in London at 4s, jx'r quarter. 
 
 1494 Alf,'ebra 6rst known in Europe. 
 
 Printing carried on in Westminster Abbey till now. 
 
 1495 Feodal, or Feudal Laws restored by Henry VIL and limited. 
 1496' Beggars relieved by law. 
 
 Game act passed. 
 1497 The Portuguese first sail to the East Indies, Vasques di Gama. 
 3498 South America discovered by Vesputius Americanus. 
 
 North America discovered by Sebastian Cabot and his son, 
 
 John Cabot settled Newfoundland, the first English colony in America. 
 1499 Thirty thousand died of the plague in London. 
 J.500 Virtues of Jesuits Bark discovered. 
 
 Maximilian divides the empire of Germany into six circles, and adds 
 four more in 1512. 
 
 1501 Lord Mayor's feast instituted. 
 Merchant Taylors, first so named. 
 
 1502 Henry Vlllh's. son died. 
 
 Henry VI Ith.'s chapel, VVeslmiosler, built. 
 St. Helena discovered, 
 
 1 503 Slave trade first commenced.
 
 Inventions^ 8<;c.from the Creation to the present T/nie. 657 
 
 J/ter Christ. 
 
 1505 Shillings first coined in Enslanrl. 
 
 Distaff spiiiiiin? first in Eniilanil. 
 3 509 Henry VII. built tlie first dimble-flecked ship in Eneland, of 1000 tOBS. 
 
 Veijet.'bles and gardening imported from the Netherlands, 
 1510 Hats first made in London, 
 
 1512 War with France. 
 Pensions first granted. 
 
 Twenty pounds given to a lady of the court for services done. 
 
 First royal navy of Engijnd. 
 
 Mercury discovered to be an anti-venoreal. 
 
 1513 Benefit of clergy taken from nuirderers. 
 
 The battle of Flow den, in which James IV. of Scotland is killed, with 
 the flower of his nobility. 
 1515 Camera Obsrura invented. 
 
 Christ Church College, Oxford, began. 
 
 1517 Luther began the Reformatii n. 
 Insurrection of the London apprentices. 
 Court of Conscience in London. 
 
 1518 Physicians' College incorporated. 
 
 Magellan, in the service of Spain, first discovers the straits of that name 
 in South America. 
 
 1520 First geograpiiical map of England. 
 
 Henry VIIL had the title of Defender of the Faith, for bis writings io 
 favour of popery. 
 
 1521 Inclosurcs in England restrained. 
 
 EnglisiJ ships find wiialeboue iit Cape Breton. 
 Engraving on wood invented by Albert Durer. 
 J522 New survey of England made, the first bince doomsday-book. 
 Roses first planted m England. 
 
 1524 Beer first introduced into En-iland. 
 So;ip fiist niaHe at Bristol. 
 
 1525 Ccii|» first brought to Engl md. 
 
 Damask roses and pippins brought to England. 
 Hops first used in England in malt liquors. 
 The first voyage n und the world. 
 Town of Dover fortified. 
 Anabaptists began, 
 
 1529 Secretary of Slate fir«t appointed— Lord Cromwell made so. 
 The name of Protestants bfgias from the diet of Spires. 
 
 1530 Sir Thomas Moore, the first chancellor qualified by education, 
 Parf>chial registers first appointed. 
 
 St. James's palace built. 
 
 1533 Registers of births, marriages, <fec. began. 
 Scenes first introduced into theatres. 
 
 Htnry VIH. divorced queen Catharine and married Anne Bolleyq, 
 
 1534 Arable lands restrained, and pasture enforced. 
 Silk first worn by the English clergy- 
 
 The Reformation takes place in England, under Henry VUL 
 
 1535 Camion first used. 
 
 Ten thousand iriars and nuns turned out of English nionastries. 
 
 4P
 
 fi58 A new Chronology of remarkable Events^ Dhcove ries, 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 1535 Brns» great guns first made in England. 
 Henry Vlll. excoraniuuicated by t!ie pope. 
 
 1536 Court of Ausmentatiou establishefl. 
 
 Rebellio!) in England on suppressing the raonastries. 
 Popery abolished in England by law. 
 A gentleman pensiomtd with ten marks. 
 Translation ofth^ bihl*; bv order of the kin^. 
 Six arliclea of religion published. 
 Walfis united to England bj parliament. 
 
 Quetn Catharine died, and queen Anne was put to death, when King 
 Henry VHl married l;ulv J.ine Seymour. 
 
 1537 Rfhgious houses dissolved by King Henry VHI. 
 Queen L^dy Jane Seyu/our died ir: child-bed. 
 
 1538 Variati< nsof the seamen's compass observed. 
 Registers })arocriai ins'iiuJed by Lord Cromwell, 
 
 1559 The first edition of flie Bible autr.orized. 
 Pipes of lead invented for conveying water. 
 Cannon began to be used in sin ps. 
 
 1540 Dissolved abbeys, &c, valued at 2,853,0001. 
 
 Hampton Court Palace clock, the first tolerable going clock in England. 
 - Apricots first planted in England. 
 A cherry orchard in Kent, of 32 acres, produced in one year IGOOl.' 
 Quicksilver used to refine silver ore. 
 Order of the Thistle instituted. 
 
 1541 Navigation act passed. 
 
 Tbe word Pope struck out of all English books. 
 
 1542 Fishing towns legally regulated. 
 
 1543 Silk stockings first worn by the French king* 
 Mortars for bombs used in England, 
 "ankrupts first regulated by law. 
 
 J 544 Iron first cast in Sussex. 
 
 Pistols first used by the horse. 
 
 Edinburgh burnt. 
 
 Good laud let in England at Is. per acre. 
 
 1545 The famous council of Trent begins and continues IS years. 
 Needles first made in England by a native of India, which art died 
 
 with him. 
 Port-holes in ships of war introduced. 
 
 1546 First law in England, establishing the interest of money at 10 per cent. 
 Public shews sup})ressed. 
 
 1547 Statute relating to slaves and servants. 
 Iron great guns made. 
 
 Henry Vlll. died, and the duke of Somerset protector for the young 
 king. 
 
 1549 Lord lieutenants of counties instituted in England. 
 
 1550 Anatomy restored. 
 Iron bullets mentioned. 
 
 , Journals of the House of Peers first taken. 
 SoutJiwark annexed to London. 
 Horse guards instituted hi England.
 
 Inventions, 8fc. from the Creation to the present Time, 659 
 
 JJ>er Christ. 
 
 1551 Sweating sickness appeared for the last time. 
 Crowns and half-crowns first coined. 
 
 T.he first come y acted in England. 
 
 1552 Treason requiring twv witnesses. 
 
 Grapes first brought i:;to England, and planted in Suffolk. 
 
 Starching linen first iutrodu« ed. 
 
 Fort}'-lvvo articles of religion published. 
 
 Translation of David's Psalms by Sternhojd and Hopkins. 
 
 1553 Taverns in London restisiuefi to forty. 
 
 A barrel of beer with Iti?- cask 6d. and four great loaves for id, 
 Mary, of bloody memorv, crowned ijueiii, October I . 
 
 1554 Twenty marks a sufficient support for gentlemen of the law. 
 Wheat sold at 6s. 8d. per quarter. 
 
 Seven bishops deprived for being married, 
 
 1555 First law to repair highv/ays. 
 Inclosujes restrained. 
 
 The Russian company established in England, 
 I55(j Slav trade began with England. 
 
 Cranraer, archbishop of Canterbury and about 300 Protestants burnt, 
 
 and great numbers perished in prison. 
 Bellmen first in London. 
 
 1557 Glass buttles first made in England. 
 Alteration in the Order of the Garter. 
 
 1558 Calais takm from the English. 
 Interest of money 12 per cent. 
 Wheat 14s. per quarter. 
 
 Hailstones in Northamptonshire of 1 5 inches round. 
 Queen Mary died of a dropsy, and Queen Elizabeth succeeded, who 
 completed the Reformation. 
 
 1559 Rebellion of the Roman Catholics against Elizabeth. 
 
 1560 The Heformation in Scotland completed by John Knox. 
 Queen Elizabeth the first that wore silk stockings m England, 
 Westminster Abbey first made collegiate. 
 
 Temple societies founded. 
 l55l Lapiscalaminaris and copper mines discovered in England, 
 1503 Knives first made in England. 
 Iron-wire till now imported. 
 15(54 Knit worsted stockings first made in England, 
 1 505 Study of Botany revived. 
 Royal mines established. 
 
 A great sum paid for corn imported in a dearth. 
 In this and the year following, about 500,000 or GOO.OOO mostly 
 Protestants, deserted their habitations in the Netherlands, and flee 
 into other countries, to avoid the terrible cruelty of the Duke of 
 Alva, deputy of the king of Spain, who boasted besides those slam 
 in war, he cut oft'above 1 8,000 by the hand of the public executioner 
 First physic garden in England, by Gerard. 
 Gilliflowers, carniitions, &c. first planted here by the Flemings. 
 Flemish weavers, dyers, &c. in England. 
 Husbandman's labour -id, per day. 
 
 4r 2 
 
 1567
 
 660 A new Chronology of remm-ltahle Events, Discoveries^ 
 
 After Christ 
 
 l56'7 Iiiliau hno!— keepins;, tirsl used in London. 
 
 1570 War with Sc(,i1m.(1. 
 Giiaoiiij: inv<»i!td. 
 
 1571 Law for wearing woollen cups. 
 Urirrowji'dle iiiiiifral spriiii,' discovered. 
 
 1572 F^ns, imifts, nu-sks, and fwise hair, devised by Italian harlots, first 
 
 brought from France. 
 The yreat mass icre ot Prritestnnts at Paris. 
 
 1573 Turkies first came iiit>' Eit^iiand 
 
 157 7 Sir Francis l)rai«' set sail r.niid the world. 
 
 sheriffs and 300 persons ditd at Oxford assizes of an infection. 
 
 1578 Tulip roots hrst brou'jht into England from Vienna. 
 
 Wliales killed ai Newfoundland for their oil onl>, the use of bone un- 
 known. 
 
 1579 The Republic of Holland begins by the union of Utrecht, 
 Lincn-staininj; first knnwn in Enaiand. 
 
 English East-India Conipany incorporated. 
 
 • Turkey Coni|»an\ incor^mrated. 
 
 15$0 8ir Francis Drake returns from liis voyage round the world. 
 
 Par<»chial Registers fiillv appointed. 
 
 C<vdclies first used in Fui;iinid. 
 3 5S2 Po}»e Gregory introduces the New Style in Italy ; the 5th of October 
 
 being counted 15. 
 1583 Wood first cultivated in England. 
 
 The tide ebbi d and flowed three times in an honr at Lyme, in Dorsrt. 
 
 Thames wattr first convey td into Loudou by the Loudon Bridee Water 
 Works. 
 
 Chah-.iin Chest first established. 
 
 Tob icco tirst brought into Ei. gland. 
 ]5Si Carthagi'ua trtken by S;i Francis Or.ike. 
 
 Cape Breton and \'irginia discover' by the Eriglish. 
 1585 Cavendish's fiist vosage roun! the world. 
 
 1587 Duelling introduced into Fngla. i». 
 
 Riary, queen of Scots, beheaded at Fotheringay castle, after 18 years 
 inipri-oiinient. 
 
 1588 Sir Francis Drake defeats tl.e Spanish Aunada in the English channel. 
 First rt firence to » master in chiiucery. 
 
 Fire-ships inverted. 
 
 Paper first made in Enrdand at D.irt^ord, in Kent. 
 
 Shippint; iihKngland 3 ',385 tons and 15,Q72 mariners. 
 
 Henry IV. of France passes the eihct of Naut^s, tolerating tji€ Pro* 
 testants. 
 J5S9 Earl of Cumberland's expedition against Spain. 
 
 Slocking weaving invented by the Rev. Mr. Lee, of Cambridge. 
 1590 Blind of perisi«»n» rs instituted in England. 
 
 Chest of Chatham enforced by law. 
 
 Criminals first transported. 
 
 Letters iu Algebra first used. 
 
 Customs fanned tor the last CO years, at SO.OCOlta year. 
 
 Iron slitting-mill set up <.t Dartford. 
 
 Telescopes invented by Jansen, a Dutchman.
 
 Tuventions, ^c. from the Creation to tfie prf>s!pnt Time. 661 
 
 AJter Chrutt. 
 
 15;) I Trinity College, Dublin, fou!ide<:). 
 
 East Indies visited overland bj some Eo^lish. 
 
 First patent for piiiitiiii,'. 
 
 Three shi[)s weni from England to the East Indies, 
 
 1592 Falkland Ishinds di>;rovered. 
 Custoais this year amoiinted to 50,0001. 
 
 1593 Statute mile first fixed in England. 
 
 1594 Broken-wjrarf engine erected to conv(^y wafer. 
 
 FlajTue ia London carried off one-fourth of its inhabitants. 
 
 1595 Sir John Hawkins's expedition against Spanish America. 
 J-iinaica plundered. 
 
 Caribbee Isles and St. Christopher's discovered. 
 Sliakspeare t^ourished. 
 
 1596 Eartliquake in Kent, where the hills became vallies full of water. 
 Fiour \0'<. the bushel, 
 
 1597 Bait t of Blackwater, Ireland. 
 The first act for reiievins the poor. 
 
 Watches firt brou!;ht into England from Germany. 
 
 1598 After near 40 years struggling, and the murder of perhaps near millions 
 
 the Pro!.'st;iiifs -.f France obtain ui their iavour the edict of Nantz. 
 1^99 ^atl iloth ma'e in England. 
 1000 Ear! of Arundel introduced brick buildings. 
 
 Deiiiealji'ns to book* introduced to get money. 
 
 East liilia Company s first charter. 
 
 1601 Insurance id' rl)ippin'.% &c. secured by law, 
 ^Vitchrraff act D^NSt'd. 
 
 ^II'n ord(-rr«l !)v law net to ride in coaches, 
 
 1602 Decimal ariUimetic invented at Bruges. 
 
 1603 Couni\ Courts in L«u ion revived. 
 
 Be-t t)eer and ;de, tuli measures, sold for id. a quart. 
 
 Cauliflowers fi -.t planled in England. 
 
 Ro\al licence to Shakspeare for a theatre. 
 
 Queen Elizabeth (the last of the Tudors) dies, and nominates James Vi, 
 
 of Scotland, (and first of the Stuarts) as her successor ; which unites 
 
 both kingdoms under the name of Great Britain. 
 A j;reat plague in London, 56,570 died. 
 
 1604 Union of England and Scotland attempted. 
 James 1. fiist styled king of Great Britain. 
 
 1605 The gunpowder plot discovered at Westminster; being a project of 
 
 the Roman Catholics to blow up the king and both houses of par- 
 liament. 
 
 Coaches common in London. 
 
 Attraction first discovered by Kepler. 
 
 Order of St. Andrew renewed in England. 
 
 1606 Oaths of allegiance first administered. 
 Ambassadors first sent from Turkey to England. 
 
 1607 Insurrection of the Puritans. 
 
 Inciease of building within a mile of London forbidden, 
 English first settle at Virginia. 
 160s Galileo, of Florence, first discovers the satellites about the planet Sa« 
 turn, by the telescope, then just invented in Holland,
 
 652 A new Chronology of remarkable Events, Discoverhs, 
 
 After Chri.'y. i 
 
 1608 A*«parHgus first pr Huctfl in Enclai.d 
 
 Eiitclisli till now iiuskilled in 6y'n)-i and dipping cloth^ 
 Milton the poet b jji ; djtd 1674. 
 
 1609 The Dutch pa:J a tribute for ffsiiinf: oa our coast. 
 Alum first brought to perfection in England. 
 
 First le'^nl copper < oiii^ introduced, and learlen tokens abolished. 
 
 1610 Sir F. Drake brought potatoes first from Ameiici to Irt'iand. 
 Henrv IV. i'^ niurdored at Paris, by Kavaillac, a priest. 
 Jupiter's satellites first discoverj;d, 
 
 161 1 Baronets first created in England, hy James I. 
 New translation of the E)\>\e. 
 
 36l4- Napier, of Maicheftoii, in Scotland, invents the logarithms. 
 
 Sir Huf;h Middletoa brin::;s the New faver to Loiidoa from Ware. 
 1616 Judge BeJiMf't fined for bribery iu '«iC/,000l. 
 Cape L' .ra hrsl siiil^id round. 
 The hi »i .)ernian4'nt settlement ia Virginia. . 
 Jihakspeisre the j>oet died. 
 i6l7 Sports allowed on Sundays after service. 
 
 Coming with a die first invented. 
 161 8 Slean»-en:;ine invented for raising water or ballast. 
 
 The German emperor conimcnces a war against the Protestants of Bo- 
 hemia, and of the Palatinate of liie Rhine, which once threatens the 
 ruin of the Protestant interest in Germany; but after a war of thirty 
 years, most *>( them, except the Bohennans, have their liberties con- 
 firmed to them bv the treaty of Munster, or Westphalia, in l64S. 
 
 1619 Dr. W. f^arvey, an Englishman^ discovers the doctrine of the circulation 
 
 of the blood. 
 
 1620 Broad silk nianufactory brouold into England. 
 Coining with a die used in Eoiiland. 
 
 1621 The Puritans settle in New Ewgland. 
 Public-houses first licenced. 
 
 lt)22 Nova Scotia settled by the Scotch. 
 
 1625 King James dies, and is succeeded by his son, Charles I. 
 
 The island of Barbadoes, the first English settlement in the West In- 
 dies, is planted. 
 A great plague in London, 34,517 died. 
 
 1626 Urine ordered to be preserved for making saltpetre. 
 Barometers invented. 
 
 1627 Duty on coals laid on. 
 ^\'ar with France. 
 
 1628 Canada taken by the English. 
 
 Riot in London and Dr. Lamb killed by the mob. 
 
 New Holland discovered by the Dutch. 
 iCoO Boston in New England built. 
 
 Epsom mineral spring discovered. 
 lO'3I Neither clocks nor watches general until this time. 
 
 Calico first brought from the East Indies. 
 
 St. Paul's, London, burnt and rebuilt. 
 1632 Antigua and Montserrat planted by the English, 
 
 A great fire on London-bridge. 
 
 4
 
 Inventions^ Sfc. from the Creation, to the present Time. 663 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 1632 The battle of Lutzen, in which Gustavas Adolphus, king of Sweden, 
 
 and the head of the Protestants in Gerinanv, is killed. 
 
 1633 Sau -mills first erected near London. 
 
 Seldon maintained England's sovereignty over the British seas. 
 Covent-gardcn square built. 
 
 1634 Ship-money exacted. 
 Bombs and mortars invented. 
 Sed;M» chairs a patent invention. 
 Saturn's ring discovered. 
 
 Old Parr died, aged 152 ; he lived in ten reigns. 
 .1635 Province of Maryland planted by Lord Baltimore, 
 Jamaica pillaged by the English. 
 Nuniber of hackney coaches restrained. 
 Regular posts established from London to Scotland, Ireland, &c 
 
 1636 Ballast of the river 1 hanies monopolized by the king. 
 Patent for E'glish brass and copper coin. 
 
 First public lecture in Arabic at Oxford. 
 
 1637 Liturgy first read in Scotland. 
 
 1640 Judge Berkeley arrested in the Court of King's Bench, and sent 
 
 to prison by the Commons. 
 King Charles seized the merchants' money at the mint. 
 Bank of England began. 
 
 Bows and arrows and stone cannon bullets in use. 
 King Charles disobliges the Scots, and their army takes Newcastle. - 
 
 1641 The Papists of Ireland massacre 2 or 300,000 of the Protestants. 
 
 1642 Kin.<: Charles went to Scotland for three months. 
 
 Twt'Ue bishops protested against all laws passed without their consent. 
 
 Habeas Corpus and the. Bill of Rights act passed. 
 
 Sliip-money and Star chamber abolished. 
 
 Coffee first used in England at Baliol College, Oxford. 
 
 King Charles impeaches five refractory members, which begins the civil 
 
 war, on which he retires to York. 
 Newspapers first published in England. 
 Sir Isaac Newton horn, December 25. 
 Edgeliill and Brentford fight. 
 
 1643 Lord Falkland killed at Newbury. 
 Beer act passed. 
 
 Excise office formed. 
 
 Scarlet dye first used at Bow, near Stratford. 
 
 1644 A terrible fire at Oxford, 
 Navy office founded. 
 
 Post office yielded 30001. per annum. 
 
 1645 Goldsmiths became the first bankers. 
 I6i6 Baltic of Eenbiirg, Ireland. 
 
 Navigation ?.ct fur the Colonic?. 
 Parliament aboiisl-ed the order of bishop?. 
 
 King Charles put himself into llie hands of tlie Scots at Newark, wh* 
 sold him for 2' 0,0j01. 
 1617 Plays suppressed by Parliament. 
 
 King Charles seized by Colonel Joyce, at Iloiiiiby.
 
 664 A new Chronology of remarliahU Events, D'lse&veries, 
 
 Ajter Christ 
 
 1{)4>8 Kiiig Charles escaped from Hampton Court to tlie I>le of Wight — taken 
 
 anil confined in Carisbrook Castk — rfmovtd to Windsor. 
 1649 Ki"S Charles frie^, condemned and beheaded, Jan. 30, aged 4i). 
 
 Oliver Cromwell j^oes to Ireland willi his arni^. 
 
 The battle of Rathniities in Ireland.. 
 
 The first insolvent act jtussed. 
 ^650 The battle of Dimbar m Scotland. 
 
 Adultery and Incest made capital for the first ofifence, and Fornicatioa 
 for the second. 
 
 Jesuit's Bark first brouglit to Euiope. 
 
 Bread first made vvilh \tast in England. 
 
 First Etiizlish coft'ee-h(.use at Oxford, 
 
 Oliver Cromwell returned from Ireland. 
 
 1651 Irish rebellion ended. 
 War with the Dutch. 
 English settled at hf. Helena. 
 Triennial parliaments began. 
 
 Hailstones of seven inches round fell at Dorchester. 
 
 Cronnvell totally defeated the king's forces at Worcester, Sept. 3. 
 
 1652 Four sea engagements with the Dutch in the Downs. 
 Bands first worn by Clergymen. 
 
 1653 Oliver Cromwell becojnes protector. 
 
 Lord Mayor and Sheriffs arrested at the suit of two pretended Sheriffs' 
 
 1654 Oliver Cromwell in danger of falling from a coach-box. 
 Air-pumps invented. 
 
 Post-otfice yielded 10,0001. 
 3655 The English, under Adnural Penn, take Jamaica from the Spaniards. 
 George Fox the first of the Quakers. 
 
 1656 The English destroy the Spanish Galleons, at Cadiz. 
 Air guns invented. 
 
 Oliver Croanvell re-admitted the Jews into England. 
 
 1657 Oliver Cronuvell refused the title of king. 
 
 Blake destroyed a Spanish fleet of galleons at the Canaries. 
 
 1655 Govermenl's expencesthis year was 1,300,0001. 
 
 The English take Dunkirk from Spain, and deliver it to France. 
 
 Oliver Cromwell dies Sept. 3. 
 
 Richard uscceeds as protector, 
 
 A terrible storm all over Europe, Sept. 3. 
 
 Spring pocket watches invented by Dr. Hook. 
 
 1659 Government's expences this year was I,200,000j. 
 Plays restored. 
 
 Richard Cromwell's protectorate ended. 
 
 1660 The restoration of Charles H. May 29. 
 Franking letters tirst claimed. 
 
 Baize manufacture introduced at Colchester. 
 
 Excise on malt liquor in England. 
 
 Perukes introduce<l into England. 
 
 Tea, coflee, and chocolate, first noticed in the statutes. 
 
 Royal Society of London instituted. 
 
 <tienej-al post office established.
 
 Inventions y S^c.from the Creation to the present Time. 665 
 
 After Christ, 
 
 1060 Nine bishops restored, anil eight coiisecrafed. 
 
 The pf opie of Denmark being oppressed by Ine nobles, surrender their 
 privileges to Fre(!erick III. who becomes absolute. 
 lOGl Queen of Bohemia visited Englandi 
 
 The Portuguese gave Bombay to the English. 
 
 Conventicles punished by law. 
 
 Wine licences established. 
 
 Bishops regained their scats in the House of Peers. 
 1662 Hearth or chimney money, 2s. per annum taxed. 
 
 Feudal laws abolished by statute. 
 
 Act'of UniformilN took place. 
 
 Milling coin introduced. 
 
 Lacteajs discovered in opening a dog. 
 
 A great storm in London. 
 
 Royal Society of London established. 
 l6()3 Cattle prohibited importation from Ireland and Scotland. 
 
 Corn and coin in bullion permitted to be exported. 
 
 Fire cngiiies invented. 
 
 Royal Society, Lonvion, incorporated. 
 
 Victualling Office instituted. 
 
 Carolina planted; 1728, divided into two separate govemments; 
 
 1664 The New Netherlands in North America, conquered from the Swedes 
 
 and Dutch by the English. 
 
 1665 Eighteen capital Dutch ships taken and destroyed off" Harwich. 
 Earl Sandwich took 12 men of war and two East-India ships. 
 Fir-^t Gazette published at Oxford. 
 
 Prince James designed sea signals. 
 
 Sixty- eight thousand persons died of the plague in London. 
 \6% Sea-fight in which the English lost nine, and the Dutch fifteen ships. 
 
 Dutch totally defeated, losing twenty-four men of war, four admirals, 
 and 4000 officers and seamen. 
 
 War with Dentnark and France. 
 
 First act for bur\ing in woollen. 
 
 Gazette first published in London. 
 
 Tea introduced from Holland. 
 
 The great fire of London, which destroyed 400 streets, and 13,000 
 houses, Sept. 2 — 5. 
 1667 Dutch destroy the English fleet at Chatham. 
 
 The peace of Breda, which confirms to the English the New Nether- 
 lands, now known by the names of Pennsylvania, New York and 
 New Jersey. 
 166s ditto, Aix-la-Chapelle. 
 
 Peace proclaimed with Spain, Feb. 12. 
 
 1669 Coventry act passed. 
 
 New theatre at Oxford built. 
 
 The Royal Exchange (built 1667) first opened, Sept. 28. 
 
 1670 Henry Jenkins died, a-ed 169. 
 Shoe-buckles first worn in England. 
 
 Union of Knglaml and Scotland s?ttempted the second time. 
 The English Hudson's Bay Company incorporated.- 
 
 4^
 
 666 A new Chronology of remarliahU Events^ Discoveries^ 
 
 - ■ . ' - -^•^ 
 
 After Christ, 
 
 1670 The Prince of Orange arrived at Whitehall. 
 1072 War with the Diitcli. 
 
 Five Dutch Smyrna fleet and 4 East-India ships taken by the English. 
 The Duke of York defeats the Dutch by sea. 
 English take Tobago, 
 
 Halfpence and farthings first coined by government; 
 Lewis XIV. over-runs great part of Holland, when the Dutch open 
 their sluices, being determined to drown their country, and retire to 
 their settlements in the East Indies. 
 
 1673 Dutch thrice defeated at sea, by Prince Rupert. 
 Test act passed. 
 
 Guineas tirst coined, so called from the gold being brought from the 
 Guinea coast. 
 
 1674 Peace with the Dutch, when they surrendered the honour of flag t* 
 
 England. 
 Plate glass first made at Lambeth. 
 
 1675 First stone of St. Paul's cathedral laid. 
 
 1677 Votes of the House of Commons first printed. 
 Monument, in London, finished. 
 
 The Prince of Orange married to the Princess Marjr 
 
 1678 The peace of Nimegi.'en. 
 'I'lie Popish plot discovered. 
 The Habeas Corpus Act passed. 
 
 3679 Unaccountable darkness at noon-day in England. 
 War with France, followed by a general peace. 
 Speaker refused by the king. 
 168O A great comet appeared, and from its nearness to our earth, alarmed 
 the inhabitants. It continued visible from Nov. 3, to March 9- 
 Willianj Penn, a Quaker, receives a charter for planting Pennsylvania, 
 lG82 Eight Ranttmi ambassadors in England. 
 H\(iraulic fire engines invented. 
 Another great Comet appeared. 
 1583 Rye-house Plot prevented by a fire at Newmarket. 
 Penny Post set up. 
 
 India Stock sold from 360 to 500 per cent. 
 j6S4 a great Frost that held thirteen weeks. 
 1()S5 Charles II. dies, aged 55, and is succeeded by his brother James 11. 
 
 The duke of Monmouth, natural son to Charles II. raises a rebellion, 
 
 but is defeated at the battle of Sedgmoor, and beheaded. 
 The Edict of Nantz infamously revoked by Lewis XIV. and the 
 Protestants cruelly persecuted. 
 J 687 Charity Schools in London instituted. 
 
 The palace of Versailles, near Paris, finished by Lewis XIV. 
 l6S8 The attempts of James II. of England, and Lewis XIV. of France, to 
 ruin the Protestant interest are checked by William Prince of Orange 
 and king of Britain. 
 The Revolution in Great Britain began, Nov. 5. 
 William, prince of Orange, landed in England with an army, whe» 
 
 King James H. abdicates and retires to France, Dec, 3. 
 §ev«n bishops sent to the tower, tried and acquitted.
 
 Inventions^ 8^c. from the Creation to the present Time. 667 
 
 Am .•. ■ - ■ -. II ; ,1 .... • \ wm 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 IbSS King William and Queen Mary, daughter and son-in-law to James, are 
 proclaimed, February l6. 
 Viscount Dundee stands out for James in Scotland, but is killed by 
 General Mackey, at the battle of Killycrankie ; upon which the 
 Highlanders, wearied by repeated misfortunes, disperse. 
 
 1689 Coronation Oath enacted. 
 The land-tax passed in England. 
 The toleration act passed in ditto. 
 
 Several bishops are deprived for not taking the oath to Kins; William. 
 William Fuller, who pretended to prove the prince of Wales spurioua 
 
 was voted by the commons to be a notorious cheat, impostor, and 
 
 false accuser. 
 King William and Queen INfary crowned, April 1 L 
 
 1690 King William lauded in Ireland. 
 
 James is defeated, and the duke of Scomberg killed, at the battle of 
 
 the Boyne. 
 Isles of St. Christopher and Eustatia retaken from the French. 
 The English and Dutch fleets defeated oft' Beachy Head. 
 
 1691 Conspiracy of the bishop of Ely and others to restore King James, 
 Eleven thousand persons died in a great mortality at York. 
 
 The war in Ireland finished, by the surrender of Limerick to William. 
 
 1692 The English and Dutch fleets, commanded by Admiral Russel, defeat 
 
 the French fleet off La Hogue. 
 Conspiracy of Granville, &c. to assassinate King William. 
 A great Earthquake in England, Sept. 8. 
 
 1693 Bayonets at the end of loaded muskets first used by the French against 
 
 the Confederates in the battle of Turin. 
 The duchy of Hanover made the ninth electorate. 
 The Bank of England established by King William. 
 The first public lottery drawn. 
 
 Massacre of Highlanders at Glencoe, by King William's troops. 
 Hackney coaches first licenced. 
 
 1694 Queen Mary dies at the age of 33, and William reigns alone. 
 Stamp duties instituted in England. 
 
 Bill for triennial parliaments passed. 
 
 1695 Bachelors and widows taxed. 
 Birth, burials and marriages ditto. 
 
 1696 Window-tax established. 
 Edystone light-house first built. 
 The peace of Ryswick. 
 
 IS9B Whitehall totally consumed by 6re. 
 
 1699 Billingsgate made a free fish-n«arket. 
 
 The Scots settled a colony at the isthmus of Darien, in America, an<j 
 called it Caledonia. 
 
 1700 Charles XH. of Sweden begins his reign. 
 
 King James II. dies at St, Germain's, in the 6Sthyear o his age, 
 
 1701 Prussia erected into a kingdom. 
 Abjuration oath first required. 
 Hanover succession established by law. 
 
 Society for the propagation of the Gospel incorporated , 
 
 4e 2
 
 6fi8 A new Chronologif of remarlmhle Events^ Discoveries^ 
 
 ■ ■ ■ ■ i 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 1702 Quakers* affirmation first accepted as an oatl). 
 
 King William dies, a^ed 50, and is succee(iid by Queen Anne, dauijlifer 
 to James II. wnu, with the Emperor and Stales Genera!, renews the 
 war against France and Spain. 
 
 1703 A terrible high wind, Nov. 26' and 27. 
 
 1704 Gibraltar tal.en by Sir George Rooke, and the victory at Hockstet. 
 Battle of Blenheim won by Marlborongh. 
 
 French lost five men of war at Gibraltar. 
 Court of Exchequer instituted. 
 
 1705 Bills of exchange, and promissory notes regulated. 
 
 1706 Union between England and Scotland. 
 The battle ofRamilies. 
 
 1707 The first British parliament. 
 
 1708 Minorca taken fronj the Spaniards by General Stanhope. 
 
 The battle of Oudenarde, won by Marlborough and the allies. 
 Sardinia erected into a kingdom and given to the duke of Savoy. 
 The Pretender attempted to invade Great Britain. 
 
 1709 Peter the Great, czar of Muscovy, defeats Charles XII. at Pultowa, 
 
 who flies to Tuikey. 
 The battle of Malplaquet, won by Marlborough and the allies. 
 Riots in London on Dr. Sacheverel's trial. 
 Statnte in favour of literary property. 
 The French beat in the woods of Blauglies. 
 J710 Queen Anne changes the Whig Ministry for others more favourable to 
 the interest of her brother the late Pretender. 
 The cathedral church of St. Paul, London, rebuilt by Sir Christopher 
 
 Wren, in 37 }ears, at one million expense, by a duty on coals. 
 The English South Sea Company began. 
 171 1 Fi^ty new churches ordered to be built by parliament. 
 Government take the penny post. 
 Clarendon press printing-house, Oxford, founded. 
 3712 Duke of Hamilton and Lord Mohun killed in a duel in Hyde Park. 
 
 1713 Newspapers stamped. 
 Peace of Utrecht. 
 
 Peace with France, proclaimed May 5. 
 
 1714 An attempt to overthrow the Protestant religion in Britain is happily 
 
 frustrated by the seasonable death of Queen Anne, and accession of 
 the family of Hanover. 
 Interest of money confirmed at 5 per cent. 
 
 1715 LeuisXIV. dies, and is succeeded by his great grandson Louis XV. 
 
 late king of France. 
 
 The rebellion in Scotland begins in September, under the earl of Mar, 
 in favour of the Pretender. The action of Sheriff-muir, and the 
 surrender of Preston, both in November, when the rebels dispersed. 
 
 Total eclipse of the sun, that the birds went to roost. 
 
 1716 River Thames dry above and below London-bridge, September li. 
 Several knocked down for wearing white roses, June 10, 
 Triennial act repealed and septennial act passed. 
 
 Great froit and fair on the Thames.
 
 Inventions, S^c. from the Creation to tJie present Time. 669 
 
 J/ter Ci,risf. 
 
 J 716" The Prtttiider married to tlie princess Sobieski, graud-iiaiighter of John 
 
 SobiesKi. latt' kin;": of Poliiiid, 
 1717 Guineas rtduced t«> '2 Is. 
 
 171s The tirst apuedrauoe of the Northern Lights. 
 1719 A great fiery Meteor, March ig, at 8 at Niglit. 
 The Mis-.issipi schejiit- at ils htight in France. 
 
 Lonibe's silk-th!>iwing niaclu:;e, containing 2(),586 wheels, erected at 
 Derby, takes uj) one-eiohth ofanii'e; one water wheel moves the 
 resl ; and in twenty-four liours it works 318,504,900 yards of organ- 
 zine silk thread. 
 The South-Sea scheme in England begun April 7; was at its height at 
 the end of June ; and quite sunk about September 29. 
 
 1721 Alteration made in the Qaaktis' athrniation. 
 
 1722 Conspiracy of counsellor La\er ^md others. 
 Wood's half-pence sent to Ireland. 
 Thread first made at Tai-^h v, in Scotland. 
 The great duke of Mailboriugh dred, June 22. 
 
 2723 Bl.ickact passed. 
 
 Nonjurors obliged to register their estates, and double taxed. 
 1725 Earl of Maccleifield fined 30,0001. and committed 10 the tow^r. 
 1726" Ward, of Hackney, expelled the House ot Commons for forgery. 
 1727 King George I, dies, in the O'Slh yenr of his age ; and is succeeded by 
 his only son, Geoige H, 
 
 Inoculations first tried on criminals with success. 
 
 Russia formerly a dukedijui is now estabisl;td as an empire. 
 
 Gibraltar besieged by the Spaniards. 
 
 The great Sir Isaac Newton died, INIarch 20. 
 
 An earthquake in several parts of Fnglaod. 
 
 1729 Dublin parliament-house began, which cost 40,0001. 
 Frederick, prince of Wales, arrived in Kngland. 
 
 1730 Gaol distemper fatal to the judge, sherilF, &c. at Blandford assizei. 
 J731 Spaniards besiege CJibraltar. 
 
 English language to be Used in all law-suit8. 
 1732 Salt duties revived. 
 
 Physic garden at Chelsea began. 
 
 Seamen's widow's corporation erected. 
 
 Kouli Khan usurps the Persian throne, conquers the Mognl empire, and 
 returns vMth two hundred and tliirty-ojse millions sterling. 
 
 Several public-spirited gentlemen be;.'in the settlement of Georgia, in 
 North America. 
 J734 Felony to forge or counterfeit bills of exchange. 
 
 Franking letters commenced, 
 
 1735 Thames so high that the lawyers came out of Westminster hall in boats. 
 Seven thousand gin shops in London. 
 
 Turnpikes destroyed in Herefordshire. 
 
 On the coast of Essex several thousand sheep and black cattle drowned. 
 
 Derwentwater estate given to Greenwich Hospital. 
 
 1736 Capt. Porteus, having ordered his soldiers to fire upon the populace at 
 
 the execution of a smuggler, is himself hanged by the mob at Edin- 
 burgh.
 
 670 A new Chronology of remarkable Events, Discoveries^ 
 
 ■ 0f ' ,■.,■■■■' ■ • .■■.■-■■■■■,', ■, ■ .■ .. ■..: ■ ' " ■ "iVYHc 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 .1737 Scarborough cliff sunk and the spa removed. 
 Gin act passed. 
 
 Lord chancellor licenses players. 
 Radcliff's library, Oxford, began building. 
 
 1738 Bank paid ofToue million capital. 
 
 Westminster Bridge, consists of fifleeu arches, begun ; finished in 1750, 
 at the expencecf 389,0001. defrayed by parliament, 
 
 1739 Mr. Stephen's recipe for the stone purchased by parliament. 
 
 Letters of marque issued out in Britain against Spain, July 21, and war 
 declared, October i3. 
 
 A hard frost for nine weeks, began December 24'. 
 3740 Solar microscopes invented. 
 
 Americans first use paper money. 
 1741 Persian trade opened throuijh Russia. 
 
 Centre arch of VVestniinsier Bridge finished. 
 1743 Paisley manufacture of handkerchiefs began. 
 
 The battle of Dettingen won by the English aod allies, in favour of the 
 queen of Hungary. 
 1714 War declared against France. 
 
 Commodore Anson returns from ins voyage round the world. 
 
 Victory, man of war of J 00 guns, with admiral Balchcn, &c. lost, 
 
 A great comet appeared in Jan. and Feb. 
 
 Rebellion in Scotland. 
 
 Battle of Fontenoy, 
 
 Preston Pans. 
 
 Marshal Bellisle brought prisoner to Windsor Castle. 
 
 English take Cape Breton, Louisburgh and Nova Scotia. 
 1746 Battle of Falkirk, Jan. 17. 
 
 .-Culloden, April 16. 
 
 British Linen Company erected. 
 3747 Coach tax commenced. 
 174s The peace of Aix-laChapelle, by which a restitution of all places 
 
 taken during the war, was to be made on all sides. 
 1749 The interest of the British funds reduced to three per cent. 
 
 British herring fishery incorporated. 
 
 3750 Two judges, the Lord Mayor, and many others died of the gaol dis- 
 
 temper caught at the Old Bailey. 
 Seventeen thousand geneva shops abolished. 
 One hundred thousand pounds damage by fire at Port-Royal, 
 Earthquakes in London, Feb. 8, and March S. 
 
 3751 George in. eldest son of Frederick, created prince of Wales, 
 King's Bench prison built. 
 
 1752 New Style began in England the 3d of Sept. being accounted the 14tb. 
 
 Violent rain in Wales, which destroyed 10,000 sheep. 
 3753 The British Museum erected at Montagu-house. 
 
 Society of Arts, Manufactures, and Commerce, instituted in London* 
 1755 Lisbon ruined by an earthquake, Nov. 1. 
 
 3756 One hundred and forty-six Englishmen are confined in the black-hole 
 at Calcutta, in the East-Iudies, by order of the Nabob, antl 123 
 found dead next morning.
 
 Inventions, S^c. from the Creation to the present Time. 671 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 1756 Marine society establislied in London. 
 War declared against France. 
 
 1757 National Debt was 74,7S0.SS6I. 3s. 2d. 
 Damien attempted to assassinate the French king, 
 
 175s A large Comet appeared, foretold by Dr. Halley. 
 
 Teuiporary bridge at London burnt, but made passable in tcndays^ 
 London bridge repaired, for which government gave 15,0001. 
 
 1759 Judges appointed for life. 
 
 Bank of England issued small notes. 
 Gauze manufacture began at Paisley, in Scotland. 
 North America wholly conquered by the English. 
 Edystone light-house rebuilt. 
 
 General Wolfe is killed in the battle of Quebec, which is gained by the 
 English. 
 
 1760 Portsmouth dock-yard burnt by accident, damage 400,000L 
 Poor-rates of England were 1,5556,8041. 
 
 Shipping of England was 300,4 1 6 tons, and 70,000 men. 
 
 King George IL dies October 25, in the 77th year of his age, and is 
 succeeded by his present majesty, who, on the 22d of September, 
 1761. married the princess Charlotte of Mecklenburgh Strelitz. 
 
 Blackfriar's Bridge, consisting of nine arches, begun ; at the expence 
 of 52,8401. to be discharged by a toll. Toll taken oflf 1785. 
 
 1761 Tide ebbed and flowed four times in the hour at Whitby. 
 Buckingham palace purchased for the Queen. 
 
 1762 Three Cherokee chiefs arrived in England. 
 Cock-lane ghost detected. 
 
 Porter raised 2d. per gallon. 
 
 Thirteen whales driven ashore on the English coast. 
 
 Wedgwood's china made in England. 
 
 A great fall of snow, for eighteen days together, in Feb. 
 
 War declared against Spain. 
 
 Peter IIL emperor of Russia, is deposed, impri'soned and murdered. 
 
 American Philosophical Society established in Philadelphia. 
 
 George Augustus Frederick, prince of Wales born, August 12. 
 17()3 The detinity treaty of peace between Great Britain, France, Spain, 
 and Portugal, concluded at Paris, Feb. JO, which confirms to Great 
 Britain the extensive provinces of Canada, East and West Florida, 
 and part of Louisiana, in North America ; also the islands of Gre- 
 nada, St. Vincent, Dominica, and Tobago, in the West Indies. 
 
 A oreat frost for ninety-four days, 
 
 America confirmed to England. 
 1764. Stamp Act in America passed. 
 
 Franking letters restrained. 
 
 The parlianicnt granted 10,0001. to Mr. Harrison for his discovery of 
 the longitude by his time-piece. 
 
 A great eclipse of the sun, April I. 
 1 765 His majesty's royal charter passed for incorporating the Society of Artists 
 
 A act passed annexing the sovereignty of the Isle of Man to the cro«» 
 of Great Britain. 
 
 General warrants dvchued illegal..
 
 672 A new Chronolog)/ of remarliahle Events, Discoveries, 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 1766 Gibraltar almost destroyed by a storm. 
 
 April 21, a spot or macula of (he sun, more than thrice the bigness of 
 our earth, passed the sun's centre. 
 
 1768 Academy of paintiugestal)li^lied in London. 
 
 Tiie Turks imprison the Russian ambassador, and declare war against 
 that empire. 
 
 1769 East-Inrlia Company give 400,0001. for five years prolongation of their 
 
 old charter. 
 
 1770 Portsmouth dock-yard accidentally burned, damage iOO,OOOl, 
 Adelphi buildings. Strand, London, built. 
 
 Blackl'riars bridge finished. 
 
 Edystone light-house again burnt down. 
 
 1771 Solway Moss, near Carlisle, moved for four days. 
 
 Dr. Solauder and Mr. Banks, in his majesty's ship the Endeavour, lieut. 
 Cook, return from a voyage round the world, having made several 
 important discoveries in tiie South Seas. 
 
 1772 Negroes declared free in this country. 
 
 Artists' Room in the Strand, and Arts and Sciences House in the Adel- 
 piii, built. 
 
 Revolution in Dentnark when the queen was imprisoned, Jan.' 17- 
 
 Augusta, princess dowager of Wales, died, aged 53. 
 
 Insurrection at Ciiristianstadt, which ended in a revolution in Sweden, 
 rendering the king absolute, and completed at Stockholm. 
 
 The king of Sweden changes the constitution of that kingdom. 
 
 The Pretender marries a princess of Germany, grand-daughter of 
 Thomas, late earl of Aylesbury. 
 
 The emperor of Germany, empress of Russia, and the king of Prussia, 
 strip the king of Poland of great ])art of his dominions, which they 
 among themselves in violation of the most solemn treaties. 
 l773 Captain Phipps is sent to ex[)lore the North Pole, but having made 
 eighty-one degrees, is in danger of being locked up by the ice, and 
 his attempt to discover a passage in that quarter proves fruitless. 
 
 The Jesuits expelled from the Pope's dominions. 
 
 The English East- India Company having, by conquest or treaty, ac- 
 quired the extensive provinces of Bengal, Orixa, and Bahar, contain- 
 ing fifteen millions of inhabitants, great irregularities are committed 
 by their servants abroad ; upon which governnient interferes, and 
 sends out judges, &c. for the better adnunistration of justice. 
 
 The war between the Russians and Turks proves disgraceful to the 
 latter, who lose the islands in the Archipelago, and by sea are every 
 where unsuccessful. 
 Review of the fleet at Portsmouth, by his majesty. 
 Si)ity thousand chaldron of coals used in London. 
 177-1' The British parliament having passed an act, laying a duty of three- 
 pence per pound upon all teas imported into America, the Colonists, 
 considering this as a giievance, deny the right of the British parlia- 
 ment to tax them. 
 Deputies from the several American colonies meet at Philadelphia, as 
 
 the first General Congress, Sept. 5. 
 First petition of Congress to the King, Nov,
 
 Invention s, Sfc.from the Creation to the present Time. 673 
 
 ^ • ■ ■ - • • • . . ~~ — --^^ 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 177^ Dr. Franklin's petition dismissed, January 29. 
 1 Turkish army ruined by the Russians, June 2. 
 
 Peace is proclaimed between the Russians and Turks. 
 
 Literary property determined, February 22. 
 
 Grenvilie's act for elections made perpetual, March 31. 
 
 Louis XV. dies May 10, aged 64. 
 
 The ancient parliament of Paris restored, Nov. 12. 
 
 Charles Stuart, pretender, is living. 
 
 L. Euler, mathematician, flourished. 
 
 Stamp duties begin in Ireland, 
 
 1775 Hostilities in America began at Lexington, April I9« 
 Action of Bunker's-hill, June 17. 
 
 Dr. Johnson, flourished. 
 
 Oil consumed in London this year cost 300,0001. 
 
 Four Dublin packets foundered in a storm. 
 
 1776 The town of Boston evacuated by the king's troops, March I7. 
 General Howe lands on Staten Island, July 3. 
 
 An unsuccessful attempt, in July, made by commodore Sir Peter 
 Parker, and lieut.-general Clinton, upon Charles Town, in South 
 Carolina. 
 
 The Congress declare the American colonies free and independent 
 states, July 4. 
 
 The Americans are driven from Long-Island, New York, in August, 
 with great loss, and great numbers of them taken prisoners ; and the 
 city of NewYork is afterwards taken possession of by the king's troops. 
 
 General Washiiigtou tukes 9OO of the Hessians prisoners at Trenton, 
 December 25. 
 
 Torture abolished in Poland. 
 
 Dr. Rt. Lowth, bishop of London. 
 
 Captain Cook's second voyage round the world concluded. 
 
 1777 Ticonderago taken by General Burgoyne, July 6. 
 
 General Howe embarks his army off Staten Island, July 24, and lands 
 
 in Chesapeak Bay, August 30. 
 Philadelphia taken, Sept. 26. 
 Battle of German Town, October 4. 
 General Burgoyne's army surrenders at Saraotga, l6th. 
 Monsieur Bufi^oaflourished. 
 177s A treaty of alliance concluded at Paris between the French king and the 
 
 thirteen united American colonies, in which their independence is 
 
 acknowledged by the court of France, February 6. 
 The remains of the earl of Chatham interred at the public expence in 
 
 Westminster Abbey, June 9, in consequence of a vote of parliament. 
 The earl of Carlisle, William Eden, Esq. and George Johnstone, Esq. 
 
 arrive at Philadelphia the beginning of June, as commissioners for 
 
 restoring peace between Great Britain and America, 
 Philadelphia evacuated by the king's troops, June 18. 
 An engagement fought oft' Brest between the English fleet under the 
 
 command of Admiral Keppel, and the French fleet under the com* 
 
 mand of Count d'Orvilliers, July 27. 
 Dominica taken by the French, Sept. 7. 
 
 R 4
 
 •74 A new Chronology of lemnrkahle Events^ Discoveries^ 
 
 Alter Christ. 
 
 J77i> Poi.dicherry surrenders to tlie anus of Great Britain, Oct. \J. 
 
 Tlie C()i)f;riss refuse to treat wiih the British coniii)i-)si(Miers, unless tlie 
 iiiilepeiK^'iife of the American colonics were first acknowledged; or 
 the kii.^'t Htets mid arnues withdrawn from America. 
 
 St. Lucia taken fron» tlie Frtnch, Dec. 28. 
 
 Voltaire and Lmnitus died. 
 
 Monsieur Diderot, flourished. 
 
 50,503,1)00!. coined since 177 If in cnincas and half-guineas. 
 i779 '^*' Vincent's taken bv the French, June t7. 
 
 Orenadrt ditto, July 3. 
 
 Ireland 'rillowed free trade. 
 1780 'Ibrture in courts of justice abolished in France. 
 
 Tiie lnqni>iiti(in aboli.*hod in the duke of MoUena's dominions. 
 
 Admiral Jlodney takes twenty-two sail of Spanisli ships, Jan. 8. 
 
 The same admiral also enj^dj^es a Spanish fleet under the command of 
 Di>n Jii.in de Lan>;ara, near Caj.e St. Vincent, an<l takes fiv« ship* 
 of the hue, one njore being diiveii on sliore, and another blown up, 
 Jan. 10. 
 
 Three actions between Adnural Rodney and the Count de Guichen, in 
 the ^Ve«t Indies, in the months of April and May; but none of 
 tht-ni flecisive. 
 
 Charie* Town, ^onih Carolina, surrenders to Sir Henry Clinton, May 4. 
 
 I'ensacola, an<l the whole pro\ince of West Florida, surrender to the 
 arms of the k'lig «'f Spain, May 9. 
 
 The Protestant Association, to the munber of 50,000 go up to the 
 House of Conininns, with their petition for the repeal of an act 
 passed in favour of the Papists, June 2. 
 
 That event followed by tlu' most dariu;^ riots, in the city of London and 
 ill Soul hw ark, for several success. ve days, in which some P(>pisli 
 cl)i1p^Is are dtslrn\f'(|, joyfther uith the prisi^Jis of Newjjate, the 
 Kind's Ii«'nch, theFlett, several private i)ouses, <.Vc. 'Fliese aiarm- 
 inji riots an* at leni.'tli suppressed by the iiiiirposition of the military, 
 and many of the rioters tried and extcuted for felony. 
 
 Fiv( Fiiiilish I'.iist-liidiauien, aiul litiy Fn<:lish merchant ships bound for 
 the West Indies, takeu by the combined Heels of France and Spain. 
 Aug. 8. 
 
 Earl Cornwallis obtains a signal victory over General Gates, near Cam- 
 den, in South Carolina, in which above 1000 An^trican piisouers 
 are t/iken, Anj;. 10. 
 
 Mr. Laurens, late president of the Congress, takeu in an American 
 packet, near Newfoundland, Sept. 3. 
 
 G«neral Arnohl deserts the service of the Congress, escapes to Nevr 
 York, and is made a brii^adier-general in the ro\al service. Sept, 24. 
 
 Major Antlie, adjulJnt-t:eneral to the Biilixh army, banged as a spy at 
 'iappan, in the province of New-York, Oct. 2. 
 
 Mr. Laurens is committed prisoner to the Tower, on a charge of higli 
 tna'-nn, October 4. 
 
 Dreadful Imrricanes in the W^est Indies, by which great devastation is 
 made in Jamaica, Barbadaes, St. Lucia, Donunica, and other Islands 
 ' October 3 and 10. 
 
 .\ Ucclaraliou of hostilities published against Holland, Dec. 20.
 
 Inven fions, ^-e. from the Creation to the present Time. 675 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 1781 The Dutch island of St. Eiistatia taken by Admiral Rodney and Geii. 
 
 Vaij^han.Feb. 3. Retaken by the French, Nov. 27. 
 
 Ear! Cornwallis obtains a victory, but with considerable loss, over the 
 Americans under General Green, at Guildford, m North Carolina, 
 March 15. 
 
 The island of Tobaqo taken by the French, June 2. 
 
 A blo'uly ♦'nsagenient fought by an English squadron under the com- 
 UJind of Admiral Parker, and a Dutch squadron under the conimaud 
 of Admiral Zoutinaii, oftthe Doj;ger-bank, Aug. 5. 
 
 Earl Cornwallis, wilh a considerable British arniy, surrendered prison- 
 ers of war lo the American and French tro(»ps, under the commaixi 
 of General \Vashini;tun and Count RochambeaTi, at York-Town, in 
 V'r^iuia, Oct. I<). 
 
 Geor^ium Suius di>covered by Pierschel. 
 
 1782 Trinc'»nirtle, on the island nf Ce\lon, taken by Adm. Hughes, Jan. 1 1. 
 Minorca surrendered to the arms of the kini: of Spain, Feb, 5. 
 
 The island of St. Christopher taken by the French, Feb. 12. 
 
 The island of Nevis, in the West Indies, taken by the French, Feb. 14. 
 
 Montserrat taken b) the French, Feb. 22. 
 
 The House of Conmions address the kir.g asainst any further prosecu- 
 tion of offensive war on the continent of North America, March 4; 
 and resolve. That that house would consider all those as enemies to 
 his majesty, and this country, who should advise, or by any means 
 attempt, the farther prosecution of offensive war on the continent of 
 North America, for the purpose of reducing the revolted colonies to 
 obedience by force. 
 
 Admiral Rodney obtains a signal victory over the French fleet, under 
 the coBimand of Count de Grasse, near Dominica, in the West Indies, 
 April 12. 
 
 Adnjiral Hughes, with eleven ships, beat off, near the island of Ceylon, 
 by the French Admiral Suffreiu, with twelve ships of the line, after 
 a severe engagement, in which both fleets lost a great number oi 
 men, April 13. 
 
 The resolution of the House of Commons, relatini^ to Jolm Wilkes, Esq. 
 and the Middlesex election, passed Feb. 17, 170"9, rescinded May 3. 
 
 The bill to repeal the declaratory act of George I. relative to the legis- 
 lation of Ireland, received the royal assent, June 20. 
 
 The French took and destroyed the' forts aud settlements in Hudson'* 
 Bay, August 24. 
 
 The Spaniards defeated in their grand attack on Gibraltar. Sept. 13. 
 
 Treaty concluded betwixt the republic of Holland, and the United 
 States of America, October 8. 
 
 Provisional articles of peace sii^ned at Paris, between the British and 
 the American commissioners, by which the Thirteen United American 
 colonies are acknowledged by his Britannic majesty to be free, so- 
 vereign and independent states, Nov. 30. 
 
 Royal (ieorse overset at Spithead. 
 
 Six'thousmid charity children met at St. Paul's London. 
 J783 Preiiminarv articles of peace bttween his Britonnic majesty and tlie 
 k.Bjs of France an.l Spain, sijined at Vetsaiiles, January 20. 
 S R 4
 
 876 A new Chronology of remarkable Events, Discoveries, 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 1783 The order of St. Patrick iRsfituterJ, February 5. 
 
 Three f artliquakes in CHlabii;i, Ulterior and Sicily, destroying a great 
 number of towns and inhabitants, Feb. 5th, 7fh and 28th. 
 
 Armistice between Great Britain and Holland, Feb. 10. 
 
 Fiery Meteor passed over Enuland, Au2. 18, 
 
 Ratification of the definitive treaty of peace between Great Britain, 
 France, Spain, and the United States of America, Sept. 3. 
 
 English manufactures produced 56^ millions. 
 
 1784 The city of London wait on the king, with an address of thanks for 
 
 dismissing the coalition ministry, Jan. l6". 
 The great seal stolen from the lord chancellor's house, in Great Or- 
 
 mond-street, IMarch 24. 
 The ratification of peace with America arrived, April/. 
 The definitive treaty of peace between Great Britain and Holland, 
 
 May 24. 
 The memory of Handel commemorated by a grand jubilee at Westmin- 
 
 ster-abb< y, May 25. 
 ProclainatioB for a public thanksgiving, July 2. 
 Mr. Liniardi ascended in a balloon from the Artillery-ground, Moor- 
 
 fit'ldi, the first attempt of the kind in England, Sept. 15. 
 
 1785 Dr. Staburv, an American missionary, was consecrated bishop of Con- 
 
 necticut, by five nojijuring Scotch prelates, Nov. 
 Irish proposiiions attempted and rejected. 
 Spinning machines invented in Yorkshire. 
 Frost tor 1 1 5 davs. 
 
 1756 Droit d'aubaine abolished in France. 
 Eight millions of souls in England. 
 
 The king of Sweden prohibited the use of torture in his dominions. 
 
 Cardinal Turlone, higli inquisitor of Rome, was publicly dragged out 
 of his carriaj^e, by an incensed nmltitude, for his cruelly, and hung 
 on a gibbet 50 feet high. ' 
 
 Commercial trtaty signed between England and France, Sept. 26. 
 
 471,000/. 3 per cent, stock transferred to the landgrave of Hesse, for 
 Hessian soldiers lost in the American war, at 30l. a man, Nov. 2 I . 
 
 Dec. 4, Mr. Adams, the American ankbassador, presented to the arch- 
 bishop of Canterbury, Dr. \Vhite, of Pennsylvani?, and Dr. Provost, 
 of New York, to be consecrated bishops for the United States. — 
 They were consecrated Feb. 4, 1787. 
 
 1757 Mr. Burke, at the bar of the House of Lords, in the name of all the 
 
 conmiuns of Great Britain, impeached Warren Hastings, late gover- 
 nor-general of Bengal, of high crimes and misdemeanors. May 21. 
 
 The king, by letters patent, eiected the province of Nova Scotia, into 
 a bishop's see, and appointed Dr. Charles Inglis to be the bishop, 
 Aug. 11. 
 
 Amsterdam taken possession of by Prussia, October 9' 
 
 Agreement between France and England to disarm, October p. 
 
 Quarrel between the king of France and parliament begun. 
 
 Bot:iiiv Bay settlement begun. 
 
 7j6U>),000l. worth of cotton wool manufactured in England. 
 irSS War between the Turks, Germans and Russians,
 
 Inventions^ S;c. from the Creation to the present Time, 67T 
 
 .IT! ■ ■ . ■ . . ^ . ■...-■ i m iM ^ 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 17S8 Treaty between Great Britain and Russia, June 13. 
 
 Stadlholdersliip guarantied to the prince of Orange b}' the Uiiited 
 States of Holland, June 27. 
 
 Russia declares war against Sweden, June 30. 
 
 In tiie early part of October, the first symptoms appeared of a severe 
 disorder which afflicted our i^racious sovereign. On the 6lh of Nov. 
 they were very alarming, and on the 13th a form of prayer for his 
 recovery was ordered by the privy council. 
 
 French notables asseniiiled, November 5. 
 
 Ocksakow taken, December 17. 
 
 Life and horse guards disbanded. 
 
 S6'5,SSO chaklroa of coals used in London ; duty 303,71 Si. 
 
 The duke of Richmond has 15,0001. yearly. 
 
 Cuitoms 3,000,0001 —Exports were lS,'29o,l()61. 12s. l]d. and Im- 
 ports were 17 804,0241. iO's. Id. 
 
 Newspapers printed 15,564,205 and produced to government 129,0001. 
 
 Post-office clear amount 400,0001, 
 
 1789 General Illumination in England tu the king's recovery, March 10. 
 Insurrection in France, March. 
 
 States General of France convened. May 5. 
 
 French King makes concessions, June 26. 
 
 Revolution in France, July 3. 
 
 Bastile destroyed, July 20. 
 
 Insurrection in Brabant, August 10. 
 
 Bender taken, October S. 
 
 Ghent surrendered, November 23. 
 
 Brussels taken, December 12. 
 
 Mail coaches increase the post-office revenue, 300,0001. 
 
 Sunday Schools became general. 
 
 A great frost for three months. 
 
 1790 Joseph II. emperor of Germany died, Feb. 20. 
 
 The Frencii clergy deprived of their benefices, and have small ^pensioflg 
 
 decreed in lieu of them, Feb. 
 Parliaments abolished in France, April. 
 Titles suppressed in France, June 19. 
 Ceremony of the Confederation in France, July 14. 
 Neckar resigns, and retires to Switzerland, September 4. 
 
 1791 Mirabeau dies in March. 
 
 Louis and his family escape from Paris, but are stopped at Varennes, 
 
 June 21. 
 Treaty of Pilnitz, July. 
 Riots in Birmingham, July. 
 
 1792 Leopold II. emperor of Germany, dies suddenly, March 1. 
 Gustavuslll. king of Sweden, shot by Ankarstrom, March 15. 
 French declare war against Germany. 
 
 Duke of Brunswick publishes his manifesto, July 25. 
 
 Swiss guards and all the servants at the Thuilleries murdered, Aug. iQ. 
 
 Royal family of France imprisoned. 
 
 Princess Lamballe and 1000 others massacred at Paris. ".^ 
 
 Royalty abolished, aud France declared a republic, September 20.
 
 (T7S A new Chronology of remarkable Evenis, Discoveries,' 
 
 Jjter Christ. 
 
 1792 Battle of Jemappe, November 7^ 
 
 17y«3 Kouis XVJ. perishes uinler !l»e giiillefine, Jan. 21. 
 
 Tiie Fre.'icli republic declare war against England, Holland and Spain, 
 Ffbruary 2. 
 
 The French defeated nearT^urriay by the duke of Yorit, May 8. 
 
 Dutnourier endeavours to restore royalty. 
 
 Marat murdered by Ciiariolte Cordey, July 14. 
 
 To\don submits to Lord Hood, August 23 ; who is obliged to leave it. 
 Decern her Ij^. 
 
 General Custine executed in July. 
 
 Tlie «p>etn «>!' Franct- beheaded by the "uillotine, Oct. iff. 
 
 The heads of the Giroiiisl pjrty exfcutt-d, Ocl<,ber 30. 
 
 Vak-ncunnes bebiejrt d from May C3d to July iflh, when the French 
 garrison surrendt red tt to the c»iml)int-d army umler the cuuimand of 
 the duke ''f York : ic Iviken by the Fieucii the ne\tyt'ar. 
 
 The duke of Orleans i^uillotiued. 
 I7f)4. Mariinico taken by Sir Ciiarlts Orey, March 26. 
 
 Eli/dnth, s>i>tir to tlie l.\te kiuii "f Fraoce, jiuillutined. May 12. 
 
 Lord Howe's vict>;rY ovor tlii- l-reuch tirel, June 1. 
 
 Earthcpjake and eruption cf Mount \'esuvius, June 13 to ?4. 
 
 Robfspierre and hi* p irty e\ccuie.| by tcrchli^ht, July 28. 
 
 Trial of Thomas Hari^y, &c. for hiph treason, began in October. 
 
 Fire at Wiippin^, in Lonilt)n, where ujjwards of 630 houses were con- 
 sumed, tt)^ether with an East India warehouse, in wliich 35,00© 
 bags of saltpetre were destroyed; the whole loiS estimuttil at 
 1,000,0001. sterling. 
 
 Warsaw taken by the Russians, after a bloody engagement, N-»v. 8. 
 A severe frost set in Dec. 3(>, by which the great rivers on tin- Coninient 
 the Rhin*', the Weial, Sec. being frozen, the French were » nabled fo 
 pass them, and rapidiv to over-run the seven miiied provinces of 
 Holland. ^ 
 
 1795 Revolution in Holland ; tlie Stadlholder arrives in England, Jan. 20. 
 Prince of Wales married to the princess Charlotte of Brunswick, April 9, 
 Peace between Prussia and France, April 10. 
 
 Warren Ha>tini:s acijuitted, after a trial of seven years, April 23. 
 
 Captain Molloy's court-martial, April 28. 
 
 Dauphin of France, died at P.iris, June 9« 
 
 Three French ships taken by Lord Bridport, June 25, 
 
 Quiberon expedition (ails, July 21. 
 
 Peace betwein France and Spain, July 22. 
 
 Cape of Good Hope taken from the Dutch, September ?3. 
 
 Censeur of 74. guns, and great part of the Mediterranean fleet, captured 
 
 by the French, October 7th. 
 Gold mine dibcovtred in Ireland, October fl. 
 Stanislaus, king of Polan I, made a formal surrender of his crown ; 
 
 his kingdom partitioned between Russia, Austria, and Prussia, 
 
 Nov. 25. 
 Church of St. Paul, Covent-gi'den London, burnt. 
 
 1796 The princess of Wales deliver d of a da^.ghtfT, January 7tb. 
 
 The king darin.^ly uSsauUcd iu las carita^« oil hi^ way from the tbeatr* 
 February \,
 
 Inventions, Sfe. from the Creation to the present Time. 67f 
 
 ■r 
 
 Afltr Chriit. 
 
 i79^ Tlie kin}» of Poland lo sign the abdication and resignation of Lis king- 
 
 dnin, March. 
 Sir Ralph Abercronibie took St. Lucia, May 25. 
 A large Dutch fleet surrendered to Adniiral Elphinstone, consisting of 
 
 three ships of the Hne, five frigates and bh)ups, and a store-ship, at 
 
 the entrance of Saldaiiah bay, near tlie Cape of Good H-vpe, Au^. l6'. 
 General Washiiisjton resigned the presidency of America, the l/th, and 
 
 was succeeded by Mr. Adams. 
 Spain declared war against Great Britain, Oct. 10. 
 Catharine II. empress of Russia, died, Nov. 17. 
 Corsica evacuated by the English, Nov. 
 The French fleet attempted to land troops at Bantry Bay, Ireland, but 
 
 were frustrated by adverse winds, Dec. 24. 
 179/ Bonaparte defeats the Austrians near V^erona, January 14. 
 
 ■ Pope's army, near Anci.na, Feb. 10. 
 
 A famous victory gained by Sir John Jervis, over the Spanish fleet off 
 
 Cape St. Vincent, Feb. 14, in consequence of which the admiral 
 
 was created Earl St. Vincent. 
 The Frenrb land 1200 at Fisguard, in Wales, Feb, 22, 
 An alarming mutiny throughout the fleet, at Spithead, April 15. 
 Another general mutiny br<<ke out in the fleet at Sheerness, May 12. 
 The princess royal of EngLnd married to the prince of Wirtemberg 
 
 May 18. 
 Parker, the chief leader in the mutiny, executed June 30. 
 Admiral Duncan defeated the Dutch fleet, of which he captured nin« 
 
 sliipsof the line, Oct. 12, and was created a viscount. 
 A general Thanksgiving for the great naval victories of Lords Howe, 
 
 St. Vincent, and Duncan ; the King and both Houses of Parliament 
 
 going in grand possession to St. Paul's, Dec. 1 p. 
 1'98 Ireland put under martial law, March 30. 
 
 Rebellion broke out in the South of Ireland, April 2. 
 
 Habeas Corpus Act suspended, April 20. 
 
 The British troops, under General Coote, destroy the sluices on the 
 
 canal between Bruges and Ostend, but are afterwards compelled to 
 
 capitulate to the French, May 20. 
 The battle of Naas, Mav 24 — H:jckets-Town and Baltinulass, 25th— 
 
 Taragh-Hill, 27th— New Ross, June olh— Vinegar-Hill, 21st— 
 
 Kilconnel-Hii!, 26th — Gore's-Bridge, July I. 
 O'Coigley executed at Maidstone, for high treason, June 7. 
 Marquis Cornwaliis appointed lord-lieulenant of Inland, June 13. 
 The glorious victory ofl'the Nile achieved by Admiral, afterwards Baroa 
 
 Nelson, in vvhiclj he took nitiC ships of the lint fium the Frenc'i, 
 
 b'l'Wt 2, Ac. AlJgU;t 1. 
 
 The French landed in Killala Bay, Ireland, the 24th^ and surrendered 
 
 September 8. 
 Victory of Sir J. B. Warren, over ihe French fleet off Ireland, in which 
 
 tije Hoclie of 80 !.'uiis and liiret frigates were captured, Oct. 12. 
 The Income Tax brouglit foiward, D.ceuiler 3. 
 The kiii^i of Sardiuia forced by the Fr nth lo si^n a jccMiiciation of his 
 
 throne, pth.
 
 670 A new Chronology of remarJiahU Events, Discoveries , 
 
 After Christ, 
 
 1798 The king and queen of Naples arrive at Palermo, having fled fiom 
 
 Naples on the approach of the French, 2Sti!. 
 J799 Naples taken by tiie French, Jan. 24. 
 
 Suwarrow's successes against the French, April 27, 28, June IQ, 
 
 Aug. 15. 
 Seringapatani taken, Tippoo Saib killed. May 4. 
 General Massena successful against the Austrians, 25 to 28. 
 Massena defeated by flie Archduke Charles, June 5. 
 Duke d'Angoulenie married to the princess royal of France at Mittau. 
 Earl Howe died, aged 72, Augusts. 
 Pope Pius VI. died at Valence, in his S2d year, the 19th. 
 Surinam taken from the Dutch, the 23d. 
 Dutch fleet taken by Admiral Mitchel, the 2Sth. 
 The Duke of York saib from Deal on an expedition against Holland, 
 
 Seplembe.- 9. 
 Bonaparte arrives in France from Egypt, October 1 6. 
 Total failure of the British against Holland, 20th. 
 Bonaparte changes the government of the republic, and is appointed 
 
 iirst consul, Nov. 10th. 
 General Washington died, the loth. 
 
 Great scarcity of corn this year, and soup shops established. 
 isoO Bonaparte makes overtures for peace to the British government, which, 
 
 however, the ministry think proper to reject, Jan. 1 to 17. 
 Battle of Novi, the Sth. 
 George Stevens died, the 22d. 
 Cardinal Gregorio Barnaba Chioranionte elected pope at Venice ; he 
 
 takes tiie name of Pius VII. Feb. 1 4. 
 General Suwarrow died, April 2. 
 Battle of Stokach, May 4. 
 Hadfield shoots at the king at Drury-lane playhouse, (was tried and 
 
 acquitted as insane) the ] 3th. 
 Sir F. Buller died, June 5. 
 The great battle of Marengo, the 1 4th. 
 Kleber assassinated in Egypt, ibid. 
 
 First stone of the wet-dock, at the Isle of Dogs, laid, July 12. 
 Unsuccessfid attempt of the English upon Ferrol, in Spain, Aug. 25. 
 Malta taken by the English, September 5. 
 Conspiracies t6 kill Bonaparte. Oct. 10, and Dec. 24. 
 Embargo laid by Russia upon British ships, Sept. 10, and Nov. 27. 
 Russia, Sweden, and Denmark unite against England. 
 ISOl Union between Great Britain and Ireland lakes place, January 1. 
 Lavater, the physiognomist, died at Berne, the 3d. 
 The first parliament of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ire- 
 land, met, the 22d. 
 Peace signed between the French republic and the emperor of Germanj 
 
 at Luncville, Feb. p. 
 The English ministry changed, and Mr. Pitt retires in March. 
 Victory over the French in Eg\pt, March 21, in which Sir R. Aber- 
 
 cromble received a wound, which he survived but a few days. 
 Bread is. lOid. the quartern loaf.
 
 Inventions, ^c.from the Creation to ^he present Time. 681 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 1501 Paul I. emperor of Russia, died March the 23d, and is succeeded Uy 
 
 Alexander. 
 
 Peace between France and Naples, the 28fh. 
 
 The Danes take possession of Hamburg on the 29th, 
 
 Sir Hyde Parker and Lord Nelson pass the Sound, and, after destroy- 
 ing the fleet at Copenhagen, make a peace with the Danes, April 2. 
 
 Conquest of Egypt completed by General Hutchinson, July. 
 
 Lord Nelson's unsuccessful attempts on the flotilla at Bologne, August 
 6 and 15. 
 
 The Planet Piazza discovered. 
 
 Preliminaries of Peace signed by England and France, Oct. I. 
 
 1502 Governor Wall executed for the murder of a serjeant in the island of 
 
 Goree, after his crime had been concealed 19 years, Jan. 28. 
 Peace finally concluded between England, France, Spain and Holland, 
 
 March 27- 
 The Planet Olbers discovered. 
 1803 Colonel Despard and six others executed for high treason, Feb. 21. 
 AVar declared by Great Britain against France, May l6. 
 St. Lucia taken by the English, June 20. 
 Tobago taken on the 30ih. 
 
 Insurrection in Dublin, and murder of Lord Kilwarden, July 23. 
 Hanover taken by the French. 
 
 French army at Cape Francois, in St. Domingo, capitulate with the 
 Blacks for the evacuation of the island, Nov. 19, and afterwards sub- 
 mit to an English squadron, with the ships of war and merchantmen, 
 the 30th. 
 2S0i His majesty's illness, during the months of Feb, and March. 
 
 A French squadron in the East Indies, under admiral Linois, beaten 
 
 off by the English Cast India fleet, Feb. 15. 
 Bonaparte proclaimed emperor of the Gauls, May 20, which finishes 
 the lepublic of France, after it had continued 4136 days, ©nly one 
 day less than the duration of the Commonwealth in England, that; 
 immediately followed the decapitation of Charles I. 
 Coronation of Bonaparte by the Pope, at Paris as emperor of the 
 
 Gauls, December 2. 
 The Planet Harding discovered. 
 1S5 Bonaparte assumes the title of king of Italy, May 26. 
 
 Lord Melville impeached for misapplying the public mone}', while 
 
 Treasurer of the Navy. 
 Battle between the English fleet, under Admiral Calder, and the com- 
 bined fleets of France and Spain, in which the Isttor lost two ships, 
 July 22; after which the English admiral was recalled, tried by a 
 court-martial, and dismissed the service. 
 Calamitous earthquakes in the South of Italy, July 26, followed by 
 an eruption of Mount Vesuvius, August 12, in which 20,000 
 persons perished. 
 Austria and Russia unite against France, Aug. 
 Death of Marquis Cornwallis, in India, aged 66, Oct. 5. 
 Austrian arrav, under General Mack, surrender at Ulm, to Bonaparte, 
 the 20th. ' 
 
 4S
 
 682 A new Chronology of remarJiable E rents, Discoveries^ 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 1S05 Massena succpssfuUn Italy against the Archiluke Charles, Oct. Nov. 
 
 Victory over llie combined fleets »f France and Spain, from Cadiz, off 
 
 Cape TrafalgJir, by the English fleet under Lord Nebon, who fell in 
 
 the enaagement ; the allies losing 19 t*ail of the line, and the French 
 
 admiral and two Spani>-h admirals taken, October i\. 
 
 Four French ships, (part of the combined fleet escaped fiom the Battle 
 
 of Trafnlgar) taken by Sir R. Strachan, Nov. 3. 
 The Fiench enter Vienna, the l+lh. 
 The English invade Hanover, and Sir Sidney Smith, fails in an attack 
 
 on the Bologne flotilla, Nov. 
 The king of Sweden declares war against France. 
 Britij-h and Russian army of 15,000 men received by the Neapolitan*, 
 
 in violation of a treaty just concluded with France, Nov. 20. 
 Battle of Au'-terlitz, in which the allied armies of Austria and Russia, 
 commanded by their respective sovereigns, were completely over- 
 thrown by the French army under the emperor Napoleon, Dec. 2. 
 This decisive victory followed by a peace between France and Austria, 
 
 concluded at Presburg, in Hungary, the 27lh. 
 Bavaria and Wirtemberg erected into kingdoms by the farour of B«na- 
 parte; anrl other great changes in Germany. 
 1806 Funeral of Lord Nelson, and grand possession to St. Paul's, Jan. 9- 
 
 Cape of Good Hope taken by General Baird and Admiral Sir Home 
 
 Popham, lOth. 
 DeatI; of Mr. Pitt, in his 47th year, the 23d. 
 New ministry appointed, ill which IMr, Fox and most of his friends are 
 
 included, Feb. 
 General Pictoii tried for the torture of I^uisa Calderon, in the island of 
 
 Tiinidiul, and found auilty, Feb. 
 The French subjugate Naples; the English and Russian army, and the 
 
 royal family, retreating to Sicily. 
 Admiral Duckwort defeats a French squadron near St. Domingo, takes 
 
 three ships of the line, and destroys two, Feb. 0. 
 Two French ships, under admiral Linois, having for a long time preytd 
 upon our East-India trade, ate captured by Sir J. B. Warren, 
 March 13. 
 The king of Prussia shuts the ports of the North against the English, 
 
 2Slh; takes dehiiilive possession of Hanover, April 1. 
 Embargo laid on Prus^an vessels in liritish ports, 5ih. 
 Hostilities between the Swedes and Prussians on the taking possession 
 
 of Hanover by the latter, the 23d. 
 "N'iulent discontents in America at the conduct of British cruisers to 
 
 their merchantment. 
 Proclamation of the President of thcUnited Slates, on the 3d of May, 
 for the apprehending of the captain of the English ship Leander,by a 
 shot from which John Pearce, an American sailor was killed, near 
 the liarbour of N'ew Voik, April 25ih. 
 Orders issued to capture and destroy all Prussian vessels. May 29. 
 Louis Bonaparte proclaimed king of Holland, June 1 1. 
 Lord IMclville acquitted of the impeachment preferred against bim, 12. 
 War formally declared in London a^ainstt Prus:>ia, i4ib.
 
 Inventions^ S;c. from the Creation to the present Thne. 683 
 
 1 
 
 JJter Chriat. 
 
 1806 Buenos Ayres takon from the Spaniards by Sir Home Popham, 28tb. 
 The magazine of" Malta blown up, containing 370 barrels ot gunpowder 
 
 and l6"00 shells, and destroying or wounding about 1000 persons, 
 
 July IS. 
 Theemperor of Aiistiia, Francis II. made a formal resignation of the 
 
 high office of emperor of Germany, Aug. 7. 
 I Buenos Ayres re-taken by the Spaniards, on the 12th, after an attack 
 
 of three days. 
 Death of the Right Hon. Charles James Fox, September 13. 
 Sir Sam. Hood took four French ships heavy laden with troops, 25th. 
 Great battle of Jena, in which the French took from the Piusnians 
 
 200 pieces of cannon, 30 >tanilards, and 2,800 prisoners, Oct. 14. 
 The Turks declare war against the Russians, December 30. 
 
 1807 The Dutch island of Curacou surrendered to four British frigates, 
 
 January 1. 
 The British troops under the commarrd of Brigadier-general Auchmufy 
 take possession of the town and citadel of Monte Video, February 3, 
 The battle of Prussian Eylau- Sih. 
 
 A British squadron, under the command of J. T. Duckworth, fails irt 
 an attempt to force the Porte to make peace with his Britannic ma- 
 jesty, March 1. 
 Alexandria taken from the Turks by Major- general Fraser, 21st. 
 The English defeated at Rosetta, with the loss of 4(j7 men, 31st. 
 Mutiny at Malta, began April 4, and ended on the night of the 12th, 
 when the mutineers blew themselves up, by setting fire to a !ar" 
 magazine, containing between 4 and 500 barrels of gunpowder. 
 The English again defeated in Egypt with the loss of about 1100 in 
 
 killed and wounded, l^th. 
 Chudleigh, a market town in Devonshire, consisting of about 200 
 houses, entirely consumed, (seven houses and the church excepted) 
 without the loss of a human life, 22d. 
 The British parliament dissolved, 27lb. 
 Agreeable to an act of parliament, no slave ships are to clear out of 
 
 British ports after May 1. 
 Insurrection in Turkey; deposition and murder of their emperor Selim 
 
 III. May. 
 Dantzic surrendered to the French, INIay 26lh. 
 Alustapha IV ascends the throne of Turkey, 29th. 
 The great battle of Friedland, between the Russians and French, in 
 which the former were completely overthrown, with the loss of 80 
 pieces of cannon, and 17,000 men killed, 14th. 
 The loss of the Russian army in the different actions, at Spanden on (he 
 5th, Deppen on the 6th, Gutstadt on the 8th, lleilsbnrgh on the 
 10th, and Friedland on the 14th, amounted to (10,000 men in killed, 
 wounded and prisoners, 120 pieces of cannon, and 7 standards. 
 The French enter Konigsberg, l6"th. 
 
 Engagement between the English ship of war Leopard, and the Ameri- 
 can frigate Chesapeake, on account of the refusal of the latter to be 
 searched for seamen which had deserted the British service, 22d» 
 4e 2
 
 6S4: A new ChronoJogy of remar'kabh Events^ Discoveries, 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 1807" All armistice concluded between tlic Russians and French, IIA. 
 
 Treaty of Tilsit, accordinji to which the Puisbians gave up ail their 
 
 possessions between the Rhine and the Elbe, and also all their Polish 
 
 dominions, to the disposal of Napoleon, July 6. 
 
 British attack on Buenos Ayres, under Lieut. -gen. Whitelockc, in which 
 
 they were repulsed, ibid ; and all South America to be evacuated iu 
 
 two months from July I7th, 
 
 The republic of Ragusa annexed to the kingdom of Italy, Auou'it 14. 
 
 The British troops land without opposition on the island of Zealand, 
 
 before Copenhagen, 1 6th. 
 The Swedes evacuate Stralsund, 21st. 
 
 An armistice concluded between the Russians and Tuiks, 2-tlh. 
 Tlie garrison of Copenhagen capitulate to the British troops, after a 
 
 severe bombardment of three days, September 6. 
 The capitulation ratified, 7th, agreeable to which the Danish fleet, 
 consisting of 17 >hips of the line, 12 frigates, &c. is to be delivered 
 up to the English, and Zealand to be evacuated by the British in 
 si.x weeks. 
 Alexandria evacuated by the English, 22. 
 Portugal shuts her ports against the English, October 20. 
 The Russians deckirc war against England, 26th. 
 The Englisk government declares France in a state of blockade, 
 
 November 1 Ith. 
 The prince regent and court of Portugal sails from Lisbon for the 
 
 Brazils, 29th. 
 The French enter Lisbon, ibid. 
 French imperial decrees of Nov. 23, Dec. 17. and 26, 1807, Jan. 11, 
 
 ISOS, &c., restricting the commerce of neutral powers. 
 Jerome Bonaparte issues his proclamation on his accession to the 
 
 throne of Westphalia, December 17. 
 The English decare war against Russia, ISlh. 
 
 An embargo laid by Congress on all vessels of the United States, 22d. 
 1808 Pope Pius VL protests against the demands of the French, Feb. 2, 
 Frederick VII. proclaimed king of Denmark, March l6". 
 The duke of Beig enters Madrid with a F:ench army, April 24. 
 Insurrection in INladrid, May 2. 
 The king and princess of the house of Bourbon, ced« their rights to thq 
 
 thione of Spain, 5th to the lOrh, 
 The pope's territories anncNed to th« kingdom of Ttaly, 21st. 
 Joseph Bonaparte declared king of Spain, June 6th. 
 A French squadron at Cadiz surrenders to the Spaniards, 14th. 
 General Dupont aiid 8000 French surrender to the Spaniards, July. 
 Mohammed V. succeeds Mustapha IV. in the Turkish empire, 2Slh. 
 Prince Murat proclaimed king of the two Sicilies, August 1. 
 Defeat of the French in Portugal, by Sir Arthur Wellesley, 21st. 
 Convention olCintra, by which the French, 4:c. evacuate Portugal, 30- 
 Itlcetings of the emperors of France and Russia at Erfurth, Sept. 27. 
 Bonaparte leaves Paris tor Spain, CiOth. 
 French re-enter Madrid, December 4th. 
 General Moore's army obliged to retreat from the interior of Spain.
 
 Inventions, $fc. from the Creation to the ^^esent Time. G$5 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 1809 General Moore's army attacked at Corunna by the French, who were 
 
 repulsed; but Genera! Mooie was killed, and Sir D. Baiid wound- 
 ed ; and ia ihe evening the rennains of our army hastily embark, 
 
 January 16. 
 Charges biouoht against the Duke of York, in the House of Commons, 
 
 by Colonel Wardle, '27th. 
 Saragossa taken by the French, February 21. 
 INIartinique captured by tlie British, 2 ith. 
 Gustavus IV\ king of Sweden, arrested and deposed by his subjects, 
 
 March 15. 
 The Duke of York resigned, 21st. 
 ^Var between .^u^tria and France, April 9- 
 The French defeat the Au^trians at Abersberg, Landshuf, Echrauhl, 
 
 and Ratisbon, with great loss, 20th to 23d. 
 Vienna captured, May 13. 
 The French, in an attack upon the Austrians, in imminent danger, by 
 
 the destruction of the bridges over the Danabe, 21st. 
 The duke of Sudermania crowned king of Sweden, as Charles XIII. 
 
 June 29. 
 The French cross the Danube, and carry the Austrian entrenchments, 
 
 July 4lh and 5th ; defeat their army at Wagram, 8th, 
 Battle of Talavera, in which the French were repulsed, but the allies 
 
 retreat a few days after, 2 1st. 
 The latter end of July a British expedition of 100 000 land and sea 
 
 forces, under the earl of Chatham, sail to the coast of Holland. 
 The American goverment renews the non-intercourse act, on our refusal 
 
 to ratify Mr. Erskine's engagements, August 9- 
 Surrender of Flushing, I5lh. 
 Lord Chatham ariives in town from the Scheldt, without accomplishing 
 
 the objects of the expedition, September 16. 
 Lord Castlereagh and ^Ir. Canning, two of the privy council, fight a 
 
 duel, 21st. 
 Peace concluded between France and Austria, October 14. 
 His majesty entering on the 50th year of his reign, the day observed 
 
 as a national jubilee, 25tb. 
 Rupture of JNIr. Jackson's negociation in America, Nov. 13. 
 The Spaniards defeated at Ocana, 19th. 
 Walcheren evacuated by the English, December 13. 
 The emperor Bonaparte and the empress Josephine dissolve their mar- 
 riage, 15ih. 
 
 1810 Treaty of Peace between Sweden and France signed, January 6. 
 Guadaloupe surrendeied to the British, February 5. 
 
 The spire of St. Nicholas' church, Liverpool, fell, and killed upwaids 
 
 of 20 persons, Sunday the 1 1th. 
 The state of Rome made into two departments of France, 17th. 
 Death of Lord Collingwood, March 7- 
 ^Marriage of the Emperor of France to the Archduchess Maiia Loiiica 
 
 of Austria, at Paris, April 1. 
 Sir Francis Burdcit committed to the Tower, 0, and released Juae 2\, 
 Louis Bonaparte abdicates the throne of Holland, July 9.
 
 686 A new Chronolor/ii of remarTiahle Events, Discoveries, 
 
 Jjfer Chrint, 
 
 1810 Btrnadotte, Prince of Ponte Corvo, chosen by the Diet, Crown Prince 
 
 ot Sweden, August 2 1st. 
 IMassena dt'leattcJ by Lord Wellington atBusaco, September \T. 
 Our beloved sovereign's indisposition publicly announced, Oct. Spth. 
 princess Amelia died, Nov. 2. 
 Committees appointed by Parliament to examine the Physicians of his 
 
 Majesty, December 13. 
 The Commons rci-olve to pass a Bill for appointing the Prince of Wales 
 
 Recent, 22d. 
 ISll Thp Prince of Wales takes the oaths as Regent of these Kingdoms, 
 
 February 8. 
 Marshal Victor defeated by General Graham, at Barosa, March 5. 
 . The Empress of France delivered «f a son, 20th. 
 Action between the American frigate President and the Little Belt, 
 
 April 10. 
 Sanjiumary battle near Badajoz, between Soult and General Beresford, 
 
 M.y lb". 
 The Duke of York reinstated in his ofTice, 29lh. 
 A great comet appeared in October, November and December. 
 Bonapart«? calls nut a levy of ilZO.OOO men, December 23. 
 1812 General Blake defeated, and VaJencia taken by Suchet, January p. 
 Lord ^Vellini^ton takes Ciudad Rodri^jo by Storm, iP'h. 
 City of Caracca, S. America, destroyed by an earthquake, March 26. 
 Lord Wellinslon takes Badajciz by storm, April 6. 
 I\lr. Percival >;hot b) Bellingham, May 12. 
 
 ]\LTrmont defeated in a great battle, by Lord Wellington, near Sala- 
 manca, July 22. 
 Smolensko occupied by the French, August \6ih. 
 Soult ev (cuates the woiks before Cadiz, 2Sth. 
 The battle of IJorodina, in Russia, September Jl. 
 The French enter JNIoscow, 14th. 
 General Hill enters Tmxillo, ibid. 
 Parliament dissolved, September 29- 
 
 Americans defeated in Upper Canada, and Gen. Brock killed, Oct. 13. 
 Moscow l)uint. 
 
 Kutusoff defeats the French advanced guard, near Moscow, 18th. 
 Witftjtnslein defeats St. Cn r, &c. at Polosk, 20lh. 
 Lord Wellington raises the siege of Burgos, 2ist. 
 The French abandon Moscow, 22. 
 The French re-enter IMadrid, November 1. 
 PlaKtf defeats the French at Kolot^k, ibid. 
 The French retreat to Smolensko, in great distress, 9th. 
 'Ihe battle of Borissow, 21sf. 
 
 Battle of Beresina, and passage of the river, by Bonaparte, 2Sth. 
 Bonaparte quits the army at Smoigoni, and saves himself by flight, 
 
 December 5. 
 The New Parliament meets, 8th. 
 
 The French army arrive in great distress at Wilna, lOth. 
 Bonaparte arrived at Paris at midnight, 18th.
 
 Inventions^ 8f€. from the Creation to tlie present Time. 687 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 1S12 Dl^patches received from Lord Cathcart, dated Dec. C2, announcing 
 the almost total annihilation of the French army, of which in the 
 various engagements had been taken 41 generals, 129S officers, 
 l6'7,510 non-commissioned ofi'icers and soldiers, and 1131 pieces of 
 cannon. 
 1813 French defeated at Castalla, April 13. 
 
 Battle of Lutzes, of the allied Russians and Prussians against the 
 
 French, under Bonaparte, May 3. 
 America declared war against Great Britain. 
 Chesapeake (American Frigate) taken by the Shannon, after a most 
 
 spirited action of fifteen minutes, June 1. 
 Lord Wellington gains a splendid victory at Vittoria, taking 151 pieces 
 of cannon, 415 waggons of ammunition, all the baggage and pro- 
 visions, and 5000 prisoners, June 21. 
 Austria declares war against France. 
 
 Recommencement of hostilities between the Allies and French, Aug. 17- 
 Glorious triumph of the Crown Prince and the Allies over the arms of 
 France at Dennevitz, taking 18,000 prisoners, (iO pieces of canoon, 
 800 ammunition waggons, &c. September (5. 
 British troops, under ^Vellington, entered France, 7th. 
 Battle of Leip>iic, October IS. 
 
 General Illumination* for the victories of the allies, November 5. 
 Counter-Revolution in Holland, 15tir. 
 Prince of Orange recalled. 
 1814 The Allies cross the Rhine, January 1 and 2. 
 
 The Custom House of London, totally destroyed by fire, February 12. 
 Monsieur entered France, when the Bouibon standard was first dis- 
 played, 19. 
 Bordeaux entered by Marshal Beresford, March 12. 
 A remarkable frost that continued until March 19, during which fairs, 
 
 inc. were held on the river Thames. 
 Paris entered by capitulation, 31. 
 
 Napoleon Bonaparte abdicated the Crown of France, Aprils. 
 General illuminations in London, 11th, 12th and I3ih. 
 Public entry of Monsieur inta Paris, r2ih. 
 Louis XVUL embarked at Dover, 24th, and made his solemn entry 
 
 into Paiis, May 2, 
 Congress assembled at Vienna. 
 Bonaparte first landed in the Island of Elba, 4th. 
 Definity treaty of Peace, signed between France anJ Eng'aiiJ, at P^ris, 
 
 May 30. 
 The Allied Sovereigns visited ihe Courts of London. 
 Grand Entertainment at Guildhall, in honor of the Emperoi of Russia, 
 
 June iSth. 
 Peace proclaimed in London, 2Gth. 
 Royal Procession to St. Paul's. 
 
 General thanksgiving day for the restoration of Peace, July J. 
 Grand Fete and Exhibition of FirtworkB in the Park, ia celebration of 
 
 the Peace, August 1. 
 Battle of Bladeusbiirg, August 24,
 
 688 A new ChronoJogy of remarliahJe Events^ Discoveries, 
 
 • ■' I „ - - ■ . -k . ' '■ 
 
 After Christ 
 
 iSJ4 Capture of Washington, by the British army, ibid. 
 Hanover raised to a kingdom. 
 The Pi'pe reinstated. 
 Order ot" Jesuits restored. 
 The pope a2,ain forced to flee. 
 
 Treat) of Peace signed with America, December 24. 
 1S15 Numerous petitions against the odious Property Tax. 
 Martinique given up to the French, 9th. 
 
 The British army, under Sir Edward Packenham, having landed on 
 the '23d ult. attacked the enemy's lines before New Oileans, but were 
 
 repulsed with loss; having loss iu the whole operatious 24-55 men — 
 amongst ihem Major-Generals Packenham and Gibbs killed. 
 The American friiiare President taken, after a smart engagement by 
 
 the English frigate Endymion, of inferior force. Our loss was eleven 
 
 killed and fourteen wounded ; that of the Americans supposed 
 
 nearly 100. 15th. 
 The remains of Louis XVI. removed with funeral pomp from the 
 
 church-yard, La Madelaine, and deposited in the Abbey St. Dennis, 
 
 21 St. 
 Duel near Paris, between Colonel Palmer and Colonel Quintin, of the 
 
 10th hussars, in consequence of the accusation preferred by the 
 
 former against the latter before a court-martial, Februarys. 
 A court-martial upon Sir John Murray, closed, after sitting fifteen 
 
 days. He was found guilty of an error in judgment, in leaving his 
 
 guns behind him at Tarragona — No punishment, 6lh. 
 Bonaparte sailed from Elba with about 1000 followers. 
 Bonaparte landed in France, Rear Frejus, March 1st. — entered Lyons 
 
 lOth, and Paris 20th, without opposition. 
 The Corn Bill brought into the House of Commons, March 1. 
 Lord Cochrane escaped from the King's Bench Prison, 5th. 
 Riots in Loudon, in consequence of the Com Bill, which continued 
 
 several davs — some lives were lc>st, 
 Louis XVHL fl:d from Paris to Lisle, 19th. 
 Bonaparte arrived v.'ithout opposition at Paris, the troops having all 
 
 joined hini ; when he assumed the Imperial Government, 20th. 
 The Corn Bill received the royal assent, and thus, in spite of the int- 
 
 niense number of petitions against it, passed into a law, 23d. 
 The allies issue a new treaty, 25th. 
 Bonaparte abolished the Slave Trade, 28th. 
 A singular altenipt made by a woman, (who turned out to be deranged) 
 
 to steal the Crown from the Tower. 
 Bordeaux surrenders to I he authority of Bonaparte, April 1. 
 The Duke d'Angoaleine capitulates to General Grouchy, and is per- 
 mitted to leave France, llth. 
 During the whipping of a sweep in Dublin, for shocking barbarity to 
 
 his apprentice, four persons were killed and twenty wounded by the 
 
 giving way of ths ballustrading and stone work on the steps of the 
 
 Exchange. 
 The new French Constitution published, 2Stb.
 
 Inventions, ^-c from the 'Creution to the present Time, 669 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 1815 A dreadful accident at Heaton Piti, by the workings overflowing 
 with water; 75 men and 37 horses were lost, May 3. 
 
 The Duke of Cumberland married to the Princess of Salms, 19th. 
 i i The inflammable air, in the Success pit, at Newbottle, took fire, 
 when 57 men and 6 horses were killed, June 1. 
 
 Bonaparte left Paris to head his armies, 12th, 
 
 The Prussians under Blucher, were three days attacked by 
 Bonaparte, at Charleroi and Ligny, with the intent of separat- 
 ing the Prussian and English army ; after a most obstinate 
 engagement, the Prussians were obliged to retire, 15th and 
 16th. The Duke of Brunswick fell on the 16th. 
 
 The English army was assembled in front of Waterloo, 17th. 
 
 The bloody and decisive battle of Waterloo. Bonaparte attack- 
 ed, with all his forces, the English, under the Duke of Welling- 
 ton, at eleven o'clock, but was constantly repulsed with dread- 
 ful slaughter.— Towards the close of the day the Prussians 
 arrived and took post on the enemy's flank, when the English 
 line boldly advanced, and drove the enemy from the field of 
 battle in the greatest disorder, abandoning 150 cannon, and 
 losing the whole materiel. The French estimate their loss at 
 50,000 ; the army of the Duke lost 15,000. — The Prussian loss 
 in the several battles was more than 20,000, 18th. 
 
 Bonaparte arrived at Paris, 21st. 
 
 Bonaparte abdicated his throne in favour of his son, who was 
 proclaimed, and a provisional government appointed, 22nd. 
 
 The thanks of parliament voted to the Duke of Wellington and 
 his army. An additional grant of 200,0001. was also given the 
 Duke. 
 
 The town of Cambray taken by the British by escalade, 23rd. 
 It was given over to Louis XVIII. who arrived there the 26th. 
 
 A message from the Prince Regent, requesting a provision to be 
 made for the duke of Cumberland on his marriage, 27th. 
 
 Paris capitulates to the Duke of Wellington and Prince Blucher, 
 July 3d, 
 
 Died suddenly Samuel Whitbread, Esq. M. P. for Bedford, 6th. 
 
 Louis XVIII. entered Paris in consequence of the Allies 
 having possession, 8th. 
 
 Bonaparte embarked on board the Bellerophon, off Rochefort, 
 and gave himself up to Captain Maitland; who sailed next day 
 for England, 15tli. 
 
 Bonaparte removed from the Bellerophon to the Northumber- 
 land, commanded by Sir G. Cockburn, who sailed the next 
 day bound to St. Helena, August 7th. 
 
 Guadaloupe capitulates to the British, 10th. 
 
 Colonel Labedoyer shot at Paris as a traitor, under the restored 
 government of Louis XVIII. September 19th. . 
 
 General Porlier executed at Corunna, October 3rd. 'mYV 
 
 Opening of the Legislative Chambers convened at Paris, by 
 Louis XVIII. with a speech from his Majesty, 7th. 
 
 Bonaparte arrived at St Helena, 13th. 
 
 4 T
 
 690 A new Chronology of remarkable Events^ Discoveries, 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 1815 Murat taken and shot at Pezzo, for rebellion in Calabria. 
 Lavalette found guilty of treason at Paris, November 21st. 
 Marshal Ney shot at Paris, December 7. 
 
 Lavalette escapes from the Conciergerie, disguised in his Lady's 
 clothes, December 20th. 
 
 1816 Shocks of an Earthquake felt (in March) about Nottingham, 
 
 Lincoln, and other adjacent counties. 
 Insurrection of the negroes at Barbadoes, April 20. 
 Death of the Empress of Austria, May 1. 
 Marriage of the Princess Charlotte of Wales and Prince Leopold 
 
 of Saxe Cobourg, 2d. 
 Didier, the leader of the French rebels, shot at Grenoble, June 10 
 Millbank Penitentiary opened, 26th. 
 New English Opera-house built, June 29th. the first interior 
 
 stone being laid January 20. 
 Richard Brinsley Sheridan died, July 7 ; was buried in Poet's 
 
 Corner, Westminster Abbey, 13th; and a monody to his 
 
 memory was recited at Drury-lane Theatre, Sept. 7, by Mrs. 
 
 Davison. 
 Marriage of the Duke of Gloucester and the Princess Mary, July 
 
 22nd. 
 Vauxhall Bridge opened during the month of July, when Prince 
 
 Cobourg, the Lord Mayor, 6zc. passed over in their carriages. 
 Bonaparte's great luurtai- was eltjvatcd in St. James's Park, by 
 
 command of H. R. H. the Prince Regent, on the 12th of 
 
 August, being his own birth-day. 
 Earthquake in Scotland, August 13. 
 Intelligence of the close of the Nepaul war, 15th. 
 Lord Exmouth destroys the Algerine fleet and arsenal, 27th. 
 The death of the King of Wirtemberg, October 30. 
 Riots in Glamorganshire, November 4th. 
 Spafields meeting and riot, December 2. 
 
 1817 New coinage of silver issued in February. 
 
 The Prince Regent attacked in his carriage by tlie mob, on his 
 
 return from the House of Lords 
 The Habeas Corpus Act suspended. 
 Cashman, the rioter, executed opposite Mr. Beckwith's shop, 
 
 Skinner-street. 
 Advice received from China, of the total failure of Lord Amherst's 
 
 embassv to that country. 
 Watson, Thistlewood, Hooper, and Preston, acquitted ot the 
 
 charo-e of High Treason, after a trial which lasted seven 
 
 days, June 16. 
 Waterloo Bridge opened June 18, being the anniversary of the 
 
 memorable battle. 
 Mr. Kemhle retired from the stage in the part of Coriolanus, 23. 
 The death of the Right Hon. George Ponsonby, leader of the 
 
 opposition in the House of Commons, July 8. 
 The death of his Grace Hugh Percy, Duke of Northumberland, 
 
 aged 75, 10th.
 
 Inventions^ &rc.from the Creation to the present Time. 691 
 
 After Christ. 
 
 1817 Death of Lord Arundel, count of the sacred Roman Empire, 10th 
 The Death of the Right Hon. J. P. Curran, late Master of the 
 
 Rolls in Ireland, 20. 
 
 The foundation stone laid of the Wellington Monument, on 
 Blackdown-Hill, in Somersetshire, ibid. 
 
 The Death of the Hon. H. Erskine, late Advocate of Scotland, 
 21st. 
 
 The Death of the amiable Princess Charlotte Augusta of Wales, 
 and of Saxe Cobourg Saalfield, Nov. 6.— Her funeral on the 
 19th, at Windsor. 
 
 J. Brandreth, W. Turner, and J. Lndlam, the Derby Conspira- 
 tors, suffered Death as Traitors, November. 
 
 1818 Death of the Right Hon. George Rose, M. P. Jan. 13. 
 Death of Sir Richard Croft, M. D. Feb. 13. 
 
 Death of the King of Sweden, succeeded by his adopted Son, 
 
 the Crown Prince, March. 
 Died in his 86th year, the Right Hon. Warren Hastings, late 
 
 Governor of Bengal, August 22. 
 Death of her most gracious Majesty, Queen Charlotte, Consort 
 
 of King George III. in Nov. 
 Death of Sir Samuel Romilly, Nov. 2. 
 Death of the Right Hon. Edward Lord Ellenborough, Lord 
 
 Chief Justice of his Majesty's Court of King's Bench, Dec. 13. 
 Marriage of the Princess Elizabeth. 
 Marriage of the Duke of Clarence. 
 Southwark Iron Bridge opened. 
 
 1819 The celebrated German Writer, M. Augustus von Kotzebue, 
 
 assassinated at Manheim by Sandt, a Student of Jena, Mar. 3, 
 Death of his Grace the Duke of Richmond, occasioned by that 
 
 terrific malady, the hydrophobia, August 28. 
 Death of Marshal Blucher, Sept. 10. 
 
 1820 Death of his Royal Highness the Duke of Kent. 
 
 Death of his most excellent Majesty, King George III. aged 81, 
 
 after a reign of 59 years and 3 months, Jan. 29.— The funeral 
 
 at Windsor, Feb. 16. 
 Accession of King George IV. to the Throne, Jan. 30. 
 King George IV. proclaimed, Jan. 31. 
 Insurrection in Spain. 
 Thistlewood, Ings, Davidson, Tidd, and Brunt, executed in April 
 
 for a Conspiracy to assassinate his Majesty's Ministers at a 
 
 Cabinet Dinner Feb. 23. 
 Assassination of the Duke de Berri. 
 Arrival of her Majesty, Queen Caroline, after an absence of 6 
 
 years, June 6. 
 Spanish Constitution confirmed by Ferdinand VII.. 
 Death of the Right Hon. Henry Grattan, M. P. 
 
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