Digitized by tine Internet Arciiive in 2007 with funding from IVIicrosoft Corporation http://www.archive.org/details/fortyfiftyfarceiOObaylrich Spencer's Boston Theatre X » >« Price, 12 1-2 Cents, each. Ten for One Dollar. BOUND VOLUMES, SI. VOL. I. 1 Moll Pitcher, 2 The Forest Hose, 3 Swiss Swains, 4 BR 96 Crinoline. VOL. XIII. i 97 Old and Yonn?. I 98A RimilyFuil;- - I 99 The Voung Sc; : : 100 The Adopted ChilJ. ! 101 The Turned Head, i 102 A Match in the Darl : 103 A-lvice to Husbands. I 104 Ptaffaelle. t VOL. XIV. j 105 TJuth Oakley. i I 106 The British Slave, j I 107 Siamese Twins, M i 108 A Life's Bans ' 111 Time Tries all, ' ' 112 Ella Rosenburg. I VOL. XV. 113 Fomebody Else. 114 Warlock of the Gle 115 Zdina, 116 Ladies' Battle, 117 Art of Acting, 118 The Brigand, 119 The Lady of the Li« 120 Keighbor Jackwooc WILLIAM V. SPENCER, PUBLISHER, ISS •W.A.SDEIIISrGI-TOIT ST., (Corner of Water St) BOSTGI SPENCER'S BOSTON THEATRE No. CXXX. ORTY AND FIFTY A FARCE, I IT O IN- E A.CT, THOMAS HAY N E S *B A Y L Y , AUTHOR OF One Houvy — Perfection^ — My Eleventh Day^ — Tom Noddy* s Secret ^ The Daughter — How do you Manage — Swiss Cottage — Sold for a Song — Comfortable Service — Etc. Etc. WITH ORIGINAL CASTS, COSTUMES, AND THE WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS, CORRECTLY MARKED AND ARRANGED, BY MR. J. B. WRIGHT, ASSISTANT MINAOER OF THE BOSTON THEATRE. BOSTON: WILLIAM V. SPENCER, 128 Washington Street, Corner of Water. ^^^ Sop O w o o GQ <1 Q .si ..9 a g a 3 a jT-' ^"3 i3 O „ w 5> _ c3 2 Qj C*^ a ' •^ ^ i;'-i 2gS ^fl ;3J e« a S'^ OT^S -^^ ^SO »?c=« a »iv. V. £.2 6 s- - S;^ ,1 i^^ bca5 t< a> -r si: tf ^ H ^ m ra 53® 5S W . Bo, iJ » ^ H H 2 H ™ « J « « J M »; -S p d a io CO 1 ?5 ^ 1 1 o8 l^ d 5Q 1 wg o 3 SI "5 »^ '3h .^M fc So '. "3 25 I FOETY AND FIFTY. SCENE I. — A room in Mr. Lilywhite*s houscy 2 & 3 g. — Carpet down — 2 chairs R. & l. c. d. — sofa on l. h. — table on R. h. covered with books — 2 chairs on R. h. — 2 chairs ow L. H. — centre doorSf prac- ticalf backed by chamber — a window^ L. f. practical, backed by street — set doory 1 e. l. h. — 2 chairs behind c. d. Enter Jessy and Peter, r. h. 1 e. , Jessy, Well, this is the oddest family I ever saw ! I begin to wish Miss Clementina had never brought me here, that I do ; I've been here but a week, and I am quite ready to start again, Feter. And pray why so ? Jessy, I never heard such a fuss about love in a family before — I mean a married family. Peter. And do you like it the worse for that ? Jessy. Oh yes, such old people ! Love among the roses is very agreeable, but this is love among the elderberries ! P^ter. Elderly people ! Well, for that matter, though my mis- tress is bordering on the forties, she is still uncommon good looking ; and then my master, who is fifty, is — Jessy. Yes, yes — they are all very well in their way — but they have been married four-and-twenty years. Peter. And love each other all the better. Jessy. Well, they know best ; but tell me why there is such a to do in the house to-day ? Peter. It's master's birth-day, he is fifty to-day. Jessy. I can fancy it's a bore to be fifty ; but wliy are all the fam- ily to be disturbed about it ? Peter. This is not only Mr. Lilywhite's birth-day, but also the anniversary of his marriage ; and as he and my mistress have lived so happily and loveingly together for four-and-twenty years, he wishes to make his fiftieth birth-day a sort of a fete — a sort of wed- ding-day over again ; he the loving bridegroom, and she the lovmg bride. Jessy. What silly old folks ! Well, and now tell me, have they really been as loving for four-and-twenty years as they would fain make us believe ? , Peter. Of course — I suppose so — Jessy. Why you ought to know, you have lived with them ever since they married. ivi84M^ FORTY AND FIFTY. Peter. 1 was a boy when they married, ten years of age — X was Mrs. Lilywhite's page, in a green close litting jacket and trowsers, and hall' a dozen rows of gilt sugar-loaf buttons. Jessy. Bachelor's buttons, Mr. Peter, for you've never found a wife. Well, and have you seen no little titfs ? Feter, Tiffs— no, no— that is — Jessif, , 4y ; 110 w for it. • • Feter i ; .Why not*exaetIylifis,Jbut— Jessy r Well. ' '*' • 2' I *./ Fite?^. . WliyJittJe4ifferejices of ©pinion ari^g out of master's ovei'nwieh So>e and affSctidn//* , • Jessy, * Wliaf, for sdmel)ddy els^ ? Feter, No, no — You see, loving my mistress in such a mad-iike way, he never thought she could love him well enough ; and so now and then, and off and on, he had little jealous vagaries ! and indeed he has 'em still, for the matter of that. But now from this day all's to go smooth ; and I heard him say no longer ago than last night, " Arabella, my fairest, I'll never be jealous again ; to-morrow we'll have a new wedding-day, and you shall find me a new man." Jessy, A new man I an old man, / should say. Peter. If you call a man old at fifty, don't let my master hear it. But I can't stay idling here, I must go and ice the champagne, and do fifty things for dinner. Exit d. l. h. 1 e. Jessy. Heigho ! I wish instead of making believe a new wed- ding-day for themselves, they'd have a real wedding-day for me, or at all events for my young mistress — ah ! here she is. Unter Clementina, k. h. 1 e. Clem, Oh ! Jessy, Jessy ! — I've been looking for you every where, I've seen him again ! Jessy, Seen what, madam ? Clem, My dear Altamont ! I was sitting in the garden thinking about him, when he jumped over the wall, in full regimentals, and knelt before me. Jessy, Oh, how pleasant ! go on. Clem. But I was obliged to tell him the truth. Jessy, Then you told him that you loved him ? Clem, Oh, I told him that long ago ; then I made him happy, but now I make him miserable. I told him that my uncle Lilywhite never would give his consent to our union. Jessy, But your aunt does not so much object. Olem, No, no, I told him, and he left me swearing he would throw himself at her feet, and implore her intercession ; I trust if he does so, he will choose a favorable moment. I declare my uncle and aunt are coming ; go, Jessy, I must offer them my congratula- tions on this double anniversary, but I shall do it with a heavy heart. Jessy. Only look ! here they come, Darby and Joan fashion, and billing and cooing like a couple of doves. Exit, d. l. h. 1 e. Enter Mr. and Mrs. Lilywhite, c. d. l. h., arm in arm — very smart : she in whiter he with a bouquet, Mr. L. Come, my Arabella, let us forget the lapse of four-and- FORTY AND FIFTY. 9 twenty happy years, and imagine that I am now about to hand you a blushing virgin to the altar of the parish church. Mrs. L. Ah, Damon ! Were that day to return, would you in- deed again select me ? Have you seen no faults, no little failing, hey ? Mr. L. No, sweetest idol of my beating heart ! no, by this fair hand, I vow it. We have been a lucky pair : when we married, and became Mr. and Mrs. White, we had a competance ; and then when old Lily died, and left us his name and his fortune, we became rich. Mrr. L. Yes, dear ; and besides, double names are so genteel now: White was all very well, and appropriate too — the emblem of purity, you know ; (Mr.* L. looks annoyed) but Lily white has quite a dash with it, and is purer still, you know. Mr. L. True, love, true. Ah ! here's Clementina — come, and wish us many happy returns. Olem. I came on purpose to do so. Mrs. L. Thank you, dear child ; I know all you would say ; and I hope, Clementina, when you have been married as many years as I have, you will love and be beloved as fondly. Mr. L. Look at us— no cloud ever yet darkened our matrimo- nial sky. Mrs. L. None at least but passing clouds, love. Mr. L. No clouds of any kind, dear. Mrs. L. None that did not soon blow over. Mr. L. Blow over ! what do you mean ? — dear. Mrs. L. Your jealousy, love, your perpetual jealousy. Mr. L. Oh ! but that you know was all complimentary to your charms. Mrs. L. But it's very disagreeable to be suspected, especially with- out a cause. Mr. L. Much worse w^hen people have done something that is likely to be found out : (aside) I know that by experience. Mrs. L. I think you will admit, on this our hymeneal anniver- sary, you never had real cause for jealousy. Mr. L. No, never ! Mrs. L. Yet how recently did you again suspect me ! Mr. L. Why, for the matter of that, my dear, I could as little tolerate the pointed attention of any young puppy now, as I could have done ten or fifteen years ago — you are still so lovely • such a very fine woman ! Mrs. L. Oh, my dear Damon ! Mr. L. We both were uncommonly well — hey, Clementina ? Clem. You were formed for each other, dear uncle. Mr. L. So we were — bespoke, I'm sure of it. There's an old adage, that marriages are made in heaven, and it's true. Mrs. L. Yet the lives some couples lead, might make one fancy the marriage manufactory was^somewhere else. Clem. Yes, aunt, but those unfortunates were perhaps crossed in their first loves : heigho ! Mr. Zf. Well, that wag not our case, we were made for each FORTY AND FIFTY. Other : and upon my life, Arabella, I never saw you look better.— I protest I think you improve every day. Mrs. L. Oh, you flatter me ! Mr. L. No, 1 don't— all handsome woman improve, they're al- ways as handsome as ever, and there's more of 'em. Never talk to me of buds, I'm for the full-blown roses— I'm a full blown rose my- self. Would anybody think I was fifty ? fifty ! pooh ! a man's a boy at fil'ty. — by-the-by, who dines with us to-day ? Mrs. L. I invited all your oldest and dearest friends, and know- ing the kindness of your heart — Mr.L. Eh? Mrs. L. Knowing that on such a day as this you will like to see everybody happy and smiling about you, I — Mr. L. Yes, dear — what ? Mrs. L. I wish to make a little addition to our family. Mr. L. A little addition to our family, dear ? Mrs. L. To our family party, a young officer. Mr. L. Young officer, Mrs. Lily-W. Clem, {aside) Dear, kind aunt. Mrs. L. Not that iwish for anybody, but for Clementina's sake — Mr. L. Does he say that he visits here on Clementina's account ? I repeat it — does he say so ? Mrs, L, He does, my dear. Olem. You know he does, uncle. Mr. L. I know nothing about him, I've never set eyes on him, I don't know where h^ comes from, nor who he is ; {aside) but this I know, nobody would look twice at the niece in the presence of the aunt. All the young danglers pretend to be in love with some lit- tle miss — all muslin and bread and butter — and all the time — Mrs. L. What's the matter, dear ? Mr. L. I pity poor Clementina, if she thinks she has won his heart. I say ma'am, I pity her. Yes, miss — pity was my expres- sion. I say, I pity you from the bottom of my heart. Clem. I'll stake my life that he's sincere. Mr. L. Hey-day ! What do you know about young officers, I should be glad to know ? and even if he was sincere — I say if he were, who is he ? where does he come from ? what is he when he's at home ? Women never think of these things — it's quite extraor- dinary, but they never do ! Clem. I shall never love anybody else. Aunt, speak for him, he told me he wanted to throw himself at your feet. Mr. L. What was that ! throw himself at your aunt's feet — if he dare, I'll throw him out of the window — him — what business has he to talk about :Mrs. Lily-W.'s feet ? who told him she had any feet ? Mrs. L. Nay, dearest, don't be angry to-day, I will not see him ; at all events, don't let even a passing cloud overshadow this day. Mr. L. Certainly not, my love— you have said you wiU not see him, and that's enough : one salute, and then I'll go and see that all is prepared for the reception of our guests. Clementina, dear, cheer up — we'll find a lover who shall woo you in earnest, one of a repu- FORTY AND FIFTY. f table family, and well to do in.the world — none of your nameless cornets. Good-bye, Arabella, I shall soon return.— (asirfe) Throw himself at her feet ! the prettiest pair of feet in the parish I let me catch him at it, that's all. Exit^ d. l. h. 1 e. Mr&. L, You see, my dear, it is in vain ; I would serve you if I could, but an interview with your lover would only involve me in difficulties. Ciem. How can my uncle be so absurdly jealous ? Mrs. L, Jealous he is, but I see no absurdity in his being jealous of me ; he ought, however, certainly to rely implicitly on my dis- cretion. Clem. To be sure, Mrs. L. You see, my dear, we are not like other married people, his love for me borders on romance. We have now never been se- parated for nineteen years. Three years after our marriage, busi- ness called him from me ; and for two long, agonizing years he was absent. C lem. For two whole years. Mrs. L. Yes, my dear ; I wonder either of us survived it. At the death of old Mr. Lily he was obliged to go to Antigua, and my state of health would not permit me to accompany him. — We have never parted since, and never shall again. Indeed, Damon, poor fellow ! seems to have a nervous horror — a trepidation at the very thought of leaving me ; and he has often said with a tear in his eye, he regretted ever going. (Axtamont appears at window l. h. — jumps in) H^! what noise is that ! there ^s some one at the window ! Clem. Ah, 'tis Altamont. Alta. My Clementina. Mrs. L. Young man, how dare you climb into our window ? Alta. I heard the voice of my Clementina, and to get near her I would have climbed your kitchen chimney, in spite of cook, scul- lion, fire, smoke, and turnspit. Mrs. L. The sooner, sir, you quit the house the better ; I shall inform Mr. Lilywhite of your intrusion, and shall certainly not re- main here to sanction it. Clementina, you will find me in my bou- doir. Alta, But hear me, dear madam. Mrs. L. Sir, you know not the mischief in which you are involv- ing me — begone, I entreat. Alta. But allow me to explain. Mrs. L. Not to me, sir — not to me ; though innocent, ^ tremble every limb ; leave the room, sir ! — quit the house — Alta. Nay, this opportunity is not to be abandoned. Mrs. L. Then, if you persist in remaining, I must go. — (aside) What will Mr. Lilywhite say when he sees him ? Exit, c. n. Clem. There, you see you have made bad worse, why could you not knock at the door like a gentleman ? Alta. Because I knew if the door was opened at all, it would be immediately shut in my face. Clem. My uncle says you don't love me. Alta. Not love you ! your uncle says that, does he ? if he were 8 FORTY AND FIFTY. here I' d make him eat his words — not love you ! have I ever looked at any other girl since I sat next to you at Mrs, Blazes' ball ? — not love you ! ask. the other officers if I'm not their love-lorn laughing- stock ! — not love you! do you really imagine that I've eat a morsel, drank a drop, or slept a wink for the last three weeks. Not I — for twenty-one days the officers have made a mess of it without me. Clem. Three weeks! Alti. Precisely. 'Twas this day three weeks that I saw you first, and at the first glance I felt that my doom was written, and my fate was sealed. Q'e>n. Oh, Altamont ! A'ii. You may well say, oh, Altamont ! Don*t be frightened, we West Indians don't love like other people, we are all fire and tow ; you'll fiad me an Indian pickle, and you are my pine-apple — my guiva jelly I Glem If you really love me, a little common sense and prudence are ;n)re likely to win me than all these rhapsodies. Alt I. Prai3.i3e! I will be a model of prudence. Where is your most im ni3ulate aunt gone? Oh, I know, into her boudoir: then rilfollow, aal yaa'll see that I'll gain the day. Qlem. Stop — I entreat — Alta. Not I. Why should you entreat me to stop ? I'll go on my Knees to that dear, good-looking aunt of yours, and she shall go on her marrowbones to her husband : I'll pacify her — she shall paeify him ; and we shall all be pacific together. One kiss, by way of a stimulant ; {kisses her) and now, when you see me again, I shall have gained a firm footing in the family. Exit^ c. d. r. h. Glem. You are on slippery ground, and may chance to trip when you least expect it. I dread the consequences, I'll take refuge in my own room till the storm bio ws over. Exity r. h. 1 e. Enter Mr. Lilywhite, d. l. h. 1 e. Jf*. L. This is a happy day, — my fiftieth birth- day, and I in my very bloom ; my wedding anniversary too, and my wife and I more like lovers than a married couple ! I begin to be ashamed of all my jealousies ; I'll never be jealous again — did I not leave her for two whole years, one-and- twenty years ago — and was she not all dis- cretion in my absence ? Yes, that she was ; thinking of her Damon morning, noon, and night ; and 7^— what was / about — the least I think of that the better; but I'll make amends — I'll never suspect my wife again, and I'll go and tell her so — I'll tell her — ( Goes to centre doorSf throws them open^ and discovers Altamont on his knees before Mrs. Lilywhite, — Mr. Lilywhite starting back) — is it possible ! Oh, Mrs. Lilywhite ! Is it come to this ? Mr?. L. (coming forward.) What do you mean, my dear — ^how could I help it ? Jf •. L. She says she could not help it. Alta. And the lady says true — I took her entirely by surprise. Mr, L. He took her entirely by surprise ! Mrs. L. Hear me, dearest Damon I Mr. L. Black-hearted Mrs. Lilywhite — I won't. Mrs. L. One word. FORTY AND FIFTY. Mr, L. I'll go and get a deed of separation drawn up ! Oh ! madam, this double anniversary will be the death of me. Exit D. L. H. 1 E. Mrs. L, (sinks into a chair) Young man, you have been the ruin of me ! Alia. Don't say so, — indeed, I don't clearly understand what the gentleman means — I only came to ask you to intercede with him about Clementina. Mrs. L. He will never believe that Clementina is your attraction here. Alia. But let me marry Clementina, and his suspicions must end. Mrs. L. Really, young man, you don't want for assurance. Alta. I've had to make my own way thro^igh life, ma'am, and never yet found that I gained a step by modesty. Mrs. L. I very much doubt your ever having tried the experi- ment. Who and what are you ? Alta. I am a soldier, madam ; and though young and inexperi- enced, I have been favorably noticed by my commander. Mrs. L. But your family, sir — who's son are you ? Alta. To be candid with you, madam, I really don't exactly know. Mrs. L. Not know — candid, indeed. Alta. I was brought up by a very worthy man in the island of Antigua, and all that he ever told me about my birth I wiU frankly tell you. Mrs. L, Thank you, sir, if you please ; — my husband was once in the West Indies, and may possibly throw some light upon the subject. Alta. Well, madam, all I know is this — my father, one-and- twenty years ago, left England for the island of Antigua, and dur- ing the tedium of a long voyage, became attached to a widow lady, who went out in the same ship. Mrs. L. Very natural — well, sir ? Alta. Yes, madam, very — so natural that Mrs. L. You hesitate, sir ! Alta. I am that gentleman's natural son. Mrs. L. ' Oh, dear me, — my husband will never consent to your marriage with my niece. Alta. Who my father was I have in vain endeavored to ascertain ; I have, however, obtained from my early friend and guardian, his picture. Mrs. L. Is't your father's picture ? Alta. Yes; I always wear it — I will show it to you. Mrs. L. No, no ! he must have been a shocking person — take it away — I won't look at it. Alta. Nay, pray look ; for as you said just now, your husband may throw some light on the subject. Mrs. L. True — give it to me — {looks at the miniature) — ah ! ^s X live, it's Damon ! Alta. Who ma'am — Damon ? 10 FORTY AND FIFTY. Mrs, L. It's Damon ! — my Damon ! — my husband ! Alta. {kneels) Your Damon I —then perhaps you are my angel- mother I Mrs. L, No, sir, no ! — out of my sight ! Alta. But madam, twist and turn the story how you will, s?ure- ly I was not to blame. Mrs. L, One-and-twenty years ago ! — the very period of Da- mon's trip, — Oh, it is too evident. Oh, that ever it should come to this ! Alta, Tl3ally, do you know, I think both you and I are very much to be pitied. Mrs. L. [ am to be pitied — I, the injured wife, who spent those two long years in solitary lamentation. He has made me misera- ble. Alta. He makes every body miserable that belongs to him. K I am his natural son, I am sure he is my very unnatural father. Mrs. L. {firying her eyes) I feel for you, young man ; don't cry ; there's no use in crying, and I will be kinder to you than he has been — in one thing, at least ; I'll have my way — you shall marry Clementina ; go to her, and leave this picture with me. Alta. My more than mother — I hear somebody coming — is it my respected Mrs. L. Respected ! Begone ! Exity Altamont, r. h. 1 e. The sums that he expended ! — I know now where they went — to the worthy guardian of this youth; — I'm glad, at all events, he did not leave him to starve. I must command my feelings, for here he comes — the libertine — the Don Juan ! Enter Mr. Lilywhite, d. l. h. 1 e. with great dignity and coldness, Mr. L. You are alone, madam — 'tis well ! Mrs. L, Yes, sir, he has this moment left me — poor young man ! Mr. L. I did not quite expect an allusion to him, I say, madam, that exceeds my expectations ! Mrs, L, A great deal comes to pass that we little expect, sir. Mr, L, I little expected we should ever part, madam. Mrs. L, (pointedly) We did part once^ sir. Mr. L. Umph ! — Yes, yes — once; but now we part never to meet again — I am determined to separate — determined ! — we part to meet no more ! — nothing can move me ! — I'm granite — nothing now can make an impression on me ! Mrs. L. Very well, sir, — I give my free consent ; but ere we part, I beg that you will hear me ; nay, I demand a hearing ! Mr, L, A confession, madam, I suppose ? Mrs, L. Yes, sir, I think it must end in a confession. Mr. L. Proceed, then, madam ; prqceed. Mrs. L. A chair if you please, and one for yourself, for I have much to say — much that may upset you. Mr, L. Upset me^ madam !— rQ, woman, womaii ! {he places chain •^they sit.) Mrs, L, You may remember, sir — indeed, under all cjrcum- FORTY AND FIFTY. 11 stances, it is impossible you should forget that one-and-twenty years ago business called you to Antigua, and for two years I was left in a solitary mansion, on the coast of Devonshire. Mr. L. Yes, madam, you could not accompany me, and my ab- sence was unavoidable ; I left you with all your little comforts about you. Mrs. L. I could not bear my solitude — I avoided society, save now and then the converse of some chosen friend — I read — I worked — I wrote — I sang — I drew — I netted — I knitted — I knotted — and I tatted, and rambled every evening over the romantic scenes around me. You left me young, and you said that I was handsome — you may well imagine then, that left alone, as I was, the glance of ad- miration followed me. Mr. L. Good gracious me ! what's coming now ? I actually groan with terror ! Admiration — Oh ! Mrs. L. I know not how to tell the rest ; — I blush from head to foot. Mr. L. (starts up) I can't sit still — {sinks into the chair again) — and yet I cannot stand. Madam ! madam ! I must now know all. Mrs. L. Y'ou shall know all — here's my bottle of salts. Mr. L. Salts ! away with them — give me oxalic acid Some- thing dreadful — something deadly ! Mrs. L. I'll pause till you recover yourself. Mr. L. Recover myself ! never! life's a burthen ! Farewell to all my little comforts ! my garden, with my pinks and carnations ! — my cucumber frame, and my polyanthuses — all my innocent avo- cations! — the pigs and the poultry I used to feed! — Farewell! a long farewell ! Lily white's occupation's gone But go on, mad- am, go on. Mrs. L. The result of your absence was — how shall I ever speak it? Mr. L. Well, madam, what was the result of my absence ? Mrs. L. That young man you saw kneeling at my feet. Mr. L. That young man ! Oh, mountains, bury us both ! I'll be revenged. I'll rummage the wide world till I find his hated father. Blood, blood, blood! Mrs. L. Nay, sir, I have no concealments now. I am ready to tell aU I know. Mr. L. Then while I have power to listen, speak. Tell me the name of the culprit. Mrs. L. No, sir, I cannot speak the name ; but here, sir, is the portrait of that young man's father. — {gives miniature.) Mr. L. If he still lives, madam, I tell you, candidly, I'll shoot him, I'll annihilate him ; his unburied bones shall — {opens miniature) — Confusion, my own portrait ! Mrs. L. Now, sir, produce your deed of separation, and doubt not I will most willingly sign it. Mr. L. {falls on his knees) Arabella ! Mrs, L. Give me pen and ink, I am ready. Mr. L. What shall I say ? Mrs. L, The less you say the better, I think. 12 rORTY AND FIFTY. Mr. L. Only two words — forgive and forget. Mrs. L. I TCidLj forgive^ but you must teach me to forget. If ever you are jealous of me in future, I shall know it is your own guilty conscience that suggests the possibility of my misconduct. Kise, sir. % Mi\ L. If you call me sir, I shall die. Mrs. L. Well, Damon, here's my hand; but remember, if your son prove worthy of her, he must marry his cousin. Mr. L. AVith all my heart, poor boy. His mother Mrs. L. I'll thank you not to mention her. M'. L. <' Oh no, we never mention her," but she was more to blaTi3 than I, I was young and inexperienced, and knew not her character ; she was forty — a widow, and — no matter ! When we landed she avoided me, and till this day I never saw my son — tell me, does he know • M>-s. L. He does. Mr. L. It's very agitating! I think I'd rather never have seen his cherub countenance. Is he like me ? Has he my eye, and the dimple I have in my chin ? Mrs. L. I confess I see no likeness. Mr. L. That's odd, now ; I suppose he's dark, like — hem — Upon my life, I feel quite overcome. Enter Altamont and Clementina, r. h. 1 e. Mrs. L. Embrace your father, young man. Alta. My father ^ I'll kneel to hiro.— (kneels.') Mr. L. (aside) I never felt so awkward I wish Mrs. Lilywhite wasn't in the room — (aloud) My boy! yes, I do believe it is ! — dark eyes — black hair. 'Gad, a fine young fellow. A very good figure — excellent figure ! Like me, in figure^ at all events. Alia. I hope to be welcomed kindly, sir. Mr. L. Kmdly ! Get up! — Kindly, to be sure, my own flesh and blood, (aside) Hold ! 'twon't do to be too glad to see him — my wife won't like that — it's very awkward. Mrs, L. I begin to think I do see a likeness. Mr. L. No, do you? Well, there is something pleasant in his expression. But, Arabella, * pon my life, I'm very much ashamed. AUa. I grieve to give you pain. I am grateful to you for your liberality. Mr. L. Pain ! — No, no, pleasure. My poor boy ! — the secret's off my mind, and I may openly embrace you. 'Gad, after all, you'll make it a happier birth- day than 'twas likely to turn out. 1 say, Arabella, a nice young man, isn't he ? Mrs. L. You had better ask Clementina. Mr. L. Clementina, come here. Take her, boy, '^id make her a good husband. Mrs. L. And take my advice, my dear; should business ever call him to Antigua, never mind the voyage, be sure you go with him. rOKTY AND FIFTY. 13 3Ir. L. Well, I'm not sorry it's off my mind — but I trust it will go no further. (^Stepping foward) In fact, I must make it a most particular request, that those friends who have unavoida^ ly been made acquainted with this little domestic secret, will not make it a matter of public cenmre, but imitate my very dear Mrs. Lily white, and smile upon me as usual. Clementina. Altamont. Lilywhitb. Mrs. Lilywhite. Spencer's Boston Theatre. •-^♦— -^ Price, :2 1-2 Cents, each. Ten for One Dollar. BOUND VOI.lTMi:s. SI. - VOIi. XVI. 121 The Wundcr, \-22 Tin- Ili-htsorMan. \-2 ', Ijolii rl Kiimiit V2i My !Iii-,l.:iii(ls Ghost. !•_''» FiLrlitiiiif Ity I'rt.xy. [Game iJi) Two C.-m'l'l.iy at that 1»7 Uii|in»tc Unwarrantalile Intrusion. 13G Mr. & Mrs. White. VOL. xvin. 1.37 A Quiet Family, 133 lIiishaiHl of an hour, i:{0 Love's Tflegn-aph, 140 The Naiad Queen. 141 Cajnice. 142 Cool as a Cucumber, 143 A Curious Case, 144: Jimibo Jum. VOL. XIX. 145 The Cradle of Liberty, 140 A Bli-hted Ud.ig, 147 Little Toddlekiiis, 143 The Lost t^hip. 149 A Lover by Proxy, [Pail, l.')0 Maiil with the Milking l.*)I Country Squire, 152 Perplexing l*redicament. VOL. XX. 153 Fr.aud and its Victims, 154 Dr. Dihvorth. 155 Out to ^urse, 156 Putnam. 157 153 159 160 La Fiammina, VOL. XXI. 161 102 163 161 165 166 167 i()8 VOL. XXII. 109 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 VOL. XXIII. 177 173 179 130 181 182 183 184 VOL. XXIV. 185 186 187 133 139 190 191 192 VOL. XXV. 193 194 195 196 197 193 199 200 VOL. XX\ i. L'U3 21 »4 205 2t»»i 207 2U3 VOL. XXVII, 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 VOL. XXVIII. 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 221 VOL. XXIX. 225 220 227 228 229 2.30 231 233 VOL. XXX. 233 23 1 2.35 236 237 23S 239 240 PAECELS SENT TO ANY PART OF THE CITY. ^^* Orders by Mail or Express wiU be promptly attended to.^^5^ m^ ®^' ^^^^'^'^ ^J^iASfi^. ,„ . PROVERBS ' OR THE WISE SAWS, OF OUR WISEST POET, COLLECTED INTO A MODERN INSTANCE. By MARY COWDEN CLARKE, AUTHOn OP CONCORDANCE TO SHAKBPEA '•Patch grief with proverbs." Much Ado. "Have at you with a proverb." Comedy of Errors. j^ boston: ' WILLIAM V. SPENCER. i I , r\y>xC^ In Fancy Paper Covers, 25 Cents. Cloth Full Gilt, 50 Cent Copies sent by Mail, free of postage, on receipt of price of the book. O) UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY BERKELEY Return to desk from which borrowed. This book is DUE on the last date stamped below. MAV 16 IS4d MAY 1 1 1984 U^d UCB ANTIi JUN 1 6 1983 REC CIR JUN 1 LD 21-100m-9,'47(A5702sl6)476 YB 7457 M84447 THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA UBRARY