Ex Libris \ C. K. OGDEN THE LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LOS ANGELES BfclNG IN-TENDED AS A CONTINUATION OF AND COMPANION FOR HERBERT'S COUNTRY PARSON. BY THE AUTHOR OF " RECOLLECTIONS OF SARK," " CLARICE, OR THE TRIALS OF A YOUNG GOVERNESS," &C. " Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faith- ful in all things."! TIM. iii. 11. " For I look upon the image of Christ as the best mark of beauty I can behold in her, and the grace of God the beat portion I can receive with her." BBVBRIDOK'S PRIVATK THOI'OHTS. LONDON ; J. HATCHARD AND SON, 187, PICCADILLY ; SOLD ALSO BY HKNRY RKDSTONK, (il'EKNSEV, &C. 1842. LONDON : PRINTED BY G. J. PALMER, SAVOV STRKBT, STRAND. PREFACE. I WILL not write a wearisome preface, but simply give the origin of the Country Par- son's Wife. It was not intended for the press, but written upon the impulse of admiration which I felt on reading Herbert's Country Parson for the first time, after which the correspond- ing duties and difficulties of his wife arose in my mind, and filled chapter after chapter as they now appear. The MS. volume passed from friend to friend, whese partial eyes found some plea- sure and profit in this slight sketch. They IV PREFACE. advised me to publish it. I did not think that there was anything new to attract, or excellent to instruct, the public, and therefore hesitated ; but there may be some who will read my little book with interest, some bearing the same holy office in whom it may recall a good resolution, or establish a high purpose ; some to whom its pages may give comfort in their peculiar sorrows, or assist when perplexed with such difficulties as are here mentioned ; and to these do I offer it in Christian love, and with the humble hope that each, as they read, may feel more deeply the weight of responsibility which lies upon them, the high honour they are pri- vileged to claim, the holy ground upon which they stand, and the narrow path they needs must tread, from the threshold of the earthly temple wherein they serve, to the gate of glory which is their entrance into eternal rest. Holding out the right hand of fellowship, PREFACE. V I present to ray fellow labourers this example of an active and holy life ; and in as far as it is in harmony with the spirit of Christ, in as far as it is in accordance with the word of God, so far do I earnestly desire that we may have grace and strength thus zealously to serve our Master, and follow the lowly steps and upward course of the Country Parson's Wife. L. L. C. East Beryholt, Nov. 1 4th, 1841. CONTENTS. CHAP. I. THE PARSON'S WIFE . . PACK 1 II. At Home . . . . 4 III. With her Servants . . . 16 IV. With her Children . . . 22 V. On Saturday . . . . 28 VI. On Sunday . . . . 32 VII. Abroad 38 VIII. In the Parish . . 45 IX. At School . . . 47 X. In the Cottage . . . . 53 XI. In Affliction . . . 60 XII. In her Amusements . . 64 XIII. In Difficulty . . 69 XIV. In her Closet . 87 THE PARSON'S WIFE. CHAPTER I. Or parson's otfltfr. Parson's Wife is a dignity, a dea- coness in the church of Christ ; in privilege a fellow helper with the workmen in the Lord's vineyard; by preferment the chosen companion of the man for whom God saw that it was not good to be alone ; and by her profession she is one unto whom the eyes of every wife and mother should look for an example of godly living ; as reflecting in her daily walk and conversation the light of holi- ness which she receives from Heaven, and as , , V B 2 THE PARSON'S WIFE. a worthy member of her husband, who is her head, even as Christ is head unto the church.* She is one who walks quietly in the pas- tor's footsteps, ministering to him first in those offices to which women are especially consecrated, namely, care of the body, in weariness and weakness and pain; comfort to the mind in trouble and perplexity and sorrow. Ministering also to her household as one who holdeth a place of trust in sweet subjection to her lord, and in meek authority over those who are under her. And minis- tering to the saints, under the direction of her husband, sharing thus the weight of honourable labour which is laid upon him ; and doing that which oftentimes he cannot do, by reason of his many duties, and be- cause that in himself there is not that capability of action in matters which God * Ephesians v. 28. THE PARSON'S WIFE. 3 has seen fit to commit more entirely to the care of women ; such as, for instance, atten- tion to the sick, the management of children, and the guidance of young women, which a pastor, however good and zealous he may be, can hardly undertake with the tenderness and care and judgment of a pastor's wife, as being both a woman and a mother herself. She is also a double life unto him. By her and through her his day is as good as two ; in which he performs so many more duties, takes a more extended sweep of action over his parish, and lays up a greater store of those good works which are of great price as the evidences of his faith, and shall be had in remembrance when a crown of two-fold glory is theirs in the kingdom of eternity. u 2 THE PARSON S WIFE. CHAPTER II. f)e 13 arson's fill iff at f^ome. parson's house, being as it were " a city set upon a hill," and a light which can- not be hid, is therefore to be ruled by him with much circumspection and care ; as knowing thereby he can either minister greatly to the glory of his Master, or bring a reproach upon his profession, and cast a stumbling-block before the people. He is " the husband of one wife, ruling his children and his household well."* Here the par- son's wife is one who lives by the apostle's rule " the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be * 1 Tim. iii. 12. THE PARSON S WIFE. 5 discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obe- dient to their husbands."* She is one who holds an especial appoint- ment under God ; that of example to the whole parish : and because of herself she is utterly incapable of performing this, her life may truly be said to be a life of prayer and looking upward. " Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?"-f- "For thy name's sake lead me and guide me."| " As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord; only do thou forsake us not." Thus walking hum- bly with her God, and trusting, under Him, to her husband for daily guidance, she is careful and consistent in her behaviour, gentle in commanding, diligent in duties, upright and open in all her dealings, patient in afflictions, chastened in her joy, forbearing and meek towards every one. Even as all * Titus ii. 4, 5. f Acts ix. 6. Ps. xxxi. 3. Josh. xxiv. 15. 6 THE PARSON'S WIFE. men look to the pastor as a guiding star, so do all women look to her as an encourage- ment in good and a strengthener against evil. She rises early, because she knows that the master's eye is worth a thousand a year, and that no household prospers when the mistress is slothful and negligent. Before she leaves her chamber, she passes over in her own mind the probable trials and temp- tations of the coming day ; the provocations from without, the besetments from within, and the doubtful way she must tread before nightfall ; and in her blindness she seeks for light, and in her weakness she seeks for strength ; in her emptiness she goes to the Fountain of all grace, from that fulness to take of the living waters which shall refresh her soul ; as to the Lord she looks for her "daily bread," that portion which, like the manna of old, is enough for every need. THE PARSON S WIFE. 7 She opens the book of God, and learns his will ; she reads a warning, and is careful ; she marks a promise, and is comforted ; then goes forth like one whose loins are girded for the race whose arms are ready for the battle whose feet are shod for the rough and toil- some way. She visits every part of the house, and takes account of every expenditure, with the scrupulous care of one who is but the steward of another's property; for truly she owes a double responsibility both to her husband and her God. Yet whilst very prudent and economical, there is nothing of avarice or meanness. If any thing can be saved, it is only to be expended in better ways, for God's service. If any comfort or luxury is denied, it is her own, that others may be made better or happier. She does not habitually spend her mornings in the ease of a drawing-room, her afternoons in worldly visiting, or her 8 THE PARSON'S WIFE. evenings in gaiety ; but, first with her chil- dren in the nursery or school-room, who have the prior claim ; then in overlooking her servants, and superintending the business of the dairy and the farm. The afternoons, if fine, she passes in going round to her poor or sick neighbours, with little books for those who read ; with refreshments or medicine for the sick ; and, as often as may be advisable, she visits her wealthier neighbours ; but al- ways having a check upon herself here, as we shall notice in another place. But whilst the parson's wife is thus occu- pied in active duties, she is not therefore debarred from the amusements and pleasures of her station ; for it is likewise a duty to cultivate those talents which God has given her, and from which her purest delights may ever flow. A portion of her time is given to reading. This is not altogether optional ; it is a needful thing both for the strengthening THE PARSON S WIFE. of her miiid, and the progress of her soul in spiritual knowledge. She feels that there is a natural tendency, in most female minds, to become absorbed by the affections, the every- day occurrences of life, and to dwell upon petty cares and perplexities until they are all magnified, by the eye of sense, so far beyond their due proportions, that they weigh upon the mind and weaken it, in- sensibly perhaps, but certainly. For this reason wisdom must be sought for as a pre- ventive, and applied as a pleasant remedy against the evil ; and an hour or two set apart for quiet and steady reading is found, by the parson's wife, to be of great use in preserving a high and cheerful tone of mind. The subject is of course a matter of choice or capacity. The study of history, especially the history of the church, tends much to expand the understanding, to enlarge her views of Christianity, and to establish her in 10 THE PARSON'S WIFE. the faith of the early Christians ; it also fur- nishes her with a bulwark against those heresies and schisms which constantly disturb the peace of the church and endanger the safety of believers. Her knowledge of these things she finds very useful in her intercourse with the poor, to whom she is able in a simple way to impart much valuable information, which otherwise they might not obtain for themselves. In reading travels, and noting the manners and customs of other countries, she often finds a light thrown upon some here- tofore obscure passage of scripture; or she learns at least a lesson of tolerance and uni- versal charity, seeing the different effects of education and circumstance upon the human character ; and by the singleness of her eye, which ever turns towards one great light, she traces the wisdom and providence of the God of the whole earth, and has a subject for wonder and for praise in the moral as well as THE PARSON'S WIFE. 11 the physical government of this varied and ever- changing world. Biographical sketches she reads for comfort and edification ; as in the trials of God's people she oft-times finds her own, and in their troubles, her present difficulties ; the path they trod is the same she now is treading; and by their footmarks in the way she often guides her own, either to avoid some stone of stumbling, or to attain a height of holiness which had not been per- ceived before. Her reading, whether of poetry or prose, is both various and suited to her peculiar tastes ; with this one restriction, that her books be such as will strengthen and confirm her in all good ; not merely divert her thoughts or touch her feelings; still less such as may pervert her principles; for which reason even some works, which in themselves are harmless, she will abstain from, both for example's sake, and because her time is of double value. Little i2 THE PARSON'S WIFE. can be spared for self and none may be thrown away. Her music, if she have that talent, is one of those gifts sanctified at the altar, which are scrupulously devoted to God ; in singing his praise, in songs of thankfulness, in giving pleasure to those around, her husband, chil- dren, friends ; but kept with carefulness, lest it be the means of drawing her into worldly society, and the waste of an hour at any time. If she be a painter, there is an open door for good in this thing ; and many a rainy day or leisure hour, when the talent may be traded with to advantage, by preparing a few draw- ings for benevolent purposes, or the gift of a picture where it will give pleasure. In the cultivation of her garden many a happy hour is spent with her children, teach- ing them the management of flowers, and leading them to observe the beauties of crea- tion : doing good, also, by having a portion THE PARSON'S WIFE. 13 of it devoted to those simple herbs which are so useful in the sick room ; the lavender for perfume, the balm for the fever drink, all-heal and the comfrey root and the houseleek for ointment. For the parson's wife is an able assistant to the parish doctor, and no stranger to the quiet suffering of the sick room ; she is well skilled in all easy remedies ; and if her time and inclination allow it, has studied the nature of all common diseases, so as to give good advice, and often a prompt relief, where other aid is out of reach, or hard to be ob- tained. She knows that much depends upon the diet and cleanliness of the sick ; and is not seldom found ministering to the sickly and capricious appetite with some unlocked for dainty, some simple yet pleasant food ; bringing comfort to the darkened room even by the light step, and by the cheerful voice, which is the delight of her own home, and the evidence of her active and gladsome spirit 14 THE PARSON'S WIFE. As the morning and afternoon are thus passed, the evening is wholly devoted to her husband ; if he thinks fit to join his parish- ioners in social meeting, she accompanies him ; if he wills rather to remain quiet after the labours of the day, she stays with him ; and then these happiest hours might be pro- longed until midnight, did they not both con- sider regularity at night as important as early rising in the morning; particularly as they depend greatly upon one another; and the bell rings for prayers at a seasonable hour ; after which the parson's wife passes through her kitchen, to see that all things are in order, and reminds her servants of any new duty ; she visits her nursery, to bless her little ones ; and retires to rest perhaps with some sor- row; for the path she treads is rough and changeful. In all these duties she has a three- fold trial ; in the hindrances which her own sinful heart and unruly affections will often THE PARSON'S WIFE. 15 cast before her, as well as from the tempta- tions of Satan, and the opposition of a vain and thoughtless world. She has, perhaps, many cares and not a few crosses, yet her heart is uplifted by Faith, and sustained by prayer ; knowing that she has a Friend, who bids her cast all her care upon Him; and feeling that, hard as the way may be, it has a joyful ending, dark as the world may be, there is a Heaven beyond it ; so she lies down in peace, and rises again, " Blessed in her going out, and blessed in her coming in ;" as every soul most surely is which thus walks closely with its God. 16 THE PARSON'S WIFE. CHAPTER III. parson's SaMeitottl) |jer Setbants. parson's wife with her servants, inas- much as she has said, " As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord,"* has a first care in choosing for her domestics such per- sons as are pious, or at least of a strictly moral character ; and that they belong to no dissenting congregation ; not in an uncharita- ble or intolerant spirit, but because it is expedient and consistent that unity should commence and prevail in the pastor's family, and every member of it be a conscientious child of the church in which he ministers. * Josh. xxiv. 15. THE PARSON'S WIFE. 17 The parson's wife receives every servant as one who is committed to her care, both soul and body. She therefore seeks the " one thing needful " in ascertaining the spiritual state of each individual, by conversing kindly with them, by giving them books to read, and directing their prayers ; becoming ac- quainted with their particular temptations and afflictions, in order that she may help them to overcome the one, and may soothe the other by Christian sympathy and needful advice. For she looks upon her servants spiritually as brethren in Christ, and is not above ministering to their daily wants, even as her Lord hath set her the example when he cleansed his disciples' feet from the defile- ments of the day's journey. Thus she is more careful not to try their tempers, and more ready to bear their faults, more watchful over their conduct, more strict in the obser- vance of duties. 18 THE PARSON'S WIFE. Her house is remarkable for its extreme neatness and cleanliness. " Let all things be done decently and in order." Everything has its place, and every place a fit occupant. The servants know this, and expecting their mistress's observation, are in consequence more tidy and careful than most others. On the kitchen walls hang holy precepts to remind the thoughtless, to reprove the guilty, to strengthen the weak ; such as the fol- lowing : " He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house, and he that speaketh lies shall not tarry in my sight."* "Servants, be obedient to your masters, not with eye-service as men-pleasers, but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart." f "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might.' 'J * Ps. ci. 7. t Eph. vi. 5, 6. J Eccles. ix. 10. THE PARSON'S WIFE. 19 And others, as she sees them necessary to the different characters. The parson's wife is never known to scold or worry her servants. At times, if she is tempted to lose patience with their negligence and forgetfulness, or ill performance of some duty, she keeps silence until her own spirit is subdued, and then, with much gentleness and proper firmness, she reproves and reminds them of their faults : always making it under- stood that if they do not choose to work without scolding, they must seek another place; it being against the rules of their master's house that such disturbances should occur. Thus her dignity is preserved on the one hand, and her gentleness on the other ; since nothing so lessens a servant's respect for her mistress, and nothing more surely disturbs all Christian peace, than the petty fault-finding, fidgeting, and irritation which good housekeepers sometimes think neces- sary in the kitchen. c 2 20 THE PARSON'S WIFE. The parson's wife is not above attending to the minutiae of domestic concerns, and is the more willing to enter into them, as by that means she is enabled to do much good in a hundred little ways, otherwise unknown. There are few luxuries in the parson's house : the living is plain though plentiful, and by attention there are little savings from waste, which become of real value to some poor persons, and cost nothing. There may be a cupful of broth, or a little jelly, a few spare bones boiled down, or a loaf-end made into a pudding ; or in the dairy a pan of skimmed milk or a little butter ; or in the garden a few superabundant vegetables ; or in the poultry-yard a fresh laid egg, things which are often thrown away, or made use of unnecessarily, which a poor family or a sick neighbour would be very thankful for. The linen is kept white and whole; the servants, if they have leisure hours, may be employed with their needle in THE PARSON'S WIFE. 21 behalf of the poor : but the parson's wife is careful to give them time for their own work, and is glad to allow an hour for reading, or otherwise improving themselves, if it is possible. As to her conversation with the ser- vants, it is scarcely necessary to observe, that she never allows anything like tale- bearing or gossip, repeating what was heard in the village, or reporting what was heard at a neighbour's, except for tidings of the sick or the afflicted. She never suffers them to speak of one ano- ther, and her own manner is ever gen- tle, dignified, and reserved. She encou- rages them in all that is praiseworthy, and checks every appearance of evil, above all, maintaining truth and peace. The parson's house should be a holy and a happy home. 22 THE PARSON'S WIFE. CHAPTER IV. !)e parson's ffl23ife toitt) Ijer Cljil&ren. 3rt might be sufficient to sum up the ordinary duties of a mother a Christian mother, and say that these were all that were required of her; but those who carefully observe her conduct perceive many pecu- liarities in the management of her children which belong especially to her station. Herbert says, " that as in the house of those that are skilled in music all are musicians, so in the house of a preacher all are preachers." And this is particularly true with respect to the pastor's children. They THE PARSON'S WIFE. 23 are so many little mirrors reflecting the characters and lives of their parents ; and by their voices much is told of that which passeth within. There is not a mother in the parish that has not scanned the minister's nursery, and taken to herself a lesson there- from, either to justify her own weakness or to uphold her in well-doing. There is not a child who does not look up to the minister's son with a double reverence for his father, or take advantage of his disobedience to despise the pulpit admonition. The parson's wife feels this : and even the unborn child was sanctified by prayer, a Levite from his birth, and brought to the baptismal font, as one devoted to his God, to claim every pri- vilege of the covenant. To pass over the first cares of infancy, when the mother naturally gives up most time to her little ones, when she teaches the lisping lips to pray, and early bends the 24 THE PAKSOX'S WIFE. stubborn will ; we notice what reverence the young child is taught for all holy things, for the house of God, the word of God, his day, his ordinances, and his minister ; the father having, as it were, twofold authority over body and soul, so that to resist his commands is to resist God. They are taught that rude- ness, insubordination, disputings, deceit, and idleness, are dishonouring to their father's house, offences against their parents and their God. All this is learned in their first years ; their mother has taught it day by day, and these lessons are not easily forgotten. She gives them habits of industry by early associating them in her own pursuits. They assist her in the garden, they share in the poultry-yard, they have a class at school, they carry comforts to the sick, they prepare linen for the poor as soon as their little fingers can hold the needle ; thus filling up those hours when study is over, they are THE PARSON'S WIFE. 25 saved from the temptations of idleness, and the young mind is bent towards that benevo- lence and thoughtfulness which are so lovely in the Christian character. They are seldom permitted to associate with neighbours' children ; for even the best are but sinful creatures, and the mother is jealous for her child, lest an hour in the evening should mar a whole day's work, and a careless word fall like tares in some un- stable heart, to spring up into disobedience or vanity or falsehood. She is careful not to suffer the mother to contend with the wife, or to annoy her husband by the petty cares of the nursery, the noise of infants, the reports of the school-room, when already harassed by many duties, needing a cheerful welcome to his fireside, and pleasant converse to refresh his spirit. Nevertheless, in all grave matters he is constantly referred to, and from his decision there is no visible appeal ; least of 26 THE PARSON'S WIFE. all does the parson's wife contradict or oppose her husband before those to whom he is both a spiritual and earthly father. If one Christian mother is more watchful than another, it is surely this one. Her children are neat and plain in their dress, courteous in manner, gentle in speech, and obedient in all things to their parents, whether present or absent. Yet above all she watches their heart; each visible sin, each rising passion, each unholy temper, and turns the shield of believing prayer against every temptation which may assault her little ones. She prays, and she acts her prayers; that which she teaches them, they see in her ; if it were not so, the precepts of God's word would seem as idle tales to their young minds. And training them thus in the way they should go, she stands at the last THE PARSON'S WIFE. 27 in humble and joyful confidence before her God, and looking up she says, " Lord ! here am I, and the children whom thou hast given me."* * Isa. xviii. 8. Heb. ii 12 28 THE PARSON'S WIFE. CHAPTER V. O)e y arson's 5 3itfr on J)c parson's wife considers this as the Sabbath preparation -day, and of sufficient importance to have particular duties assigned to it. It is the summing up of a whole week, and every work in hand must be either finished or laid aside betimes ; for it is too frequently the custom either to transgress upon the Sabbath by late labour, or to break it more openly by leaving some manner of work to be done the next morning, both of which are greatly dishonouring to that day of rest. THE PARSON'S WIFE. 29 It is a privilege, a great privilege, that on the seventh day God's people may pitch their tents as it were on holy ground, may lay aside the duties and burdens of the world to serve him with a quiet mind, and remain as long as they please in intercourse with heaven, by prayer, by reading, and by meditation, and the parson's wife is anxious to secure this privilege to herself and her household by causing all the usual work of cleaning and providing to end as soon as possible. The kitchen is quiet and orderly before prayer time, the next day's dinner dressed, every order given, every ordinary circumstance foreseen, and difficulty laid aside, as entirely as if Sunday was no day. Certainly it is no day for the world, and as certainly worldly affairs should have no portion in its time. In the parlour all books of study and amusement are put away, the week-day employments are out 30 THE PARSON'S WIFE. of sight, and fresh flowers and such tokens of festivity are placed here and there to honour God's holy day. In the nursery, before the little ones retire to rest, they collect their school-books and playthings, which are put by, that when they rise no additional temptation be laid before them, as in their prayers they are taught to pray, especially for grace to keep the Sab- bath holy. The parson's wife also visits the school to remind the children of the " morrow," and see that they remember the Sunday lessons. She calls on some of those neighbours who may not have been regular in their attend- ance at church, and "hopes to see them on the next day in their places." She has some little comforts to distribute to the sick, a Sunday dinner, or some Sunday books. She has private duties for herself in looking out her own and her husband's necessaries THE PARSON'S WIFE. 31 for the coming week. And this, perhaps the busiest day of all the week, ushers in the peace of the Christian Sabbath. 32 THE PARSON'S WIFE. CHAPTER VI. parson's <&2atfe on Sn parson's wife rises this morning with greater diligence than usual ; it is a day of rest, but not of sloth ; a cessation from earthly toil, but a season of holy labour in the im- mediate service of her God ; and she is not willing to lose an hour of this her foretaste of heaven. Whilst she dresses, she meditates upon the duties of the day, and makes a covenant with her eyes, her lips, and her heart, that they shall not disturb her soul in the sanctuary, or provoke it to sin at any time. She reads or recalls the 13th and 14th THE PARSON'S WIFE. 33 verses of the 58th chapter of Isaiah, and takes it for her watchword during the day. '* If thou turn away thy foot from the Sab- bath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy day, and call the Sabbath a delight, the holy of the Lord, honourable ; and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words: then shalt thou delight thyself in the Lord," &c. &c. To one who has kept the preparation day as she has done, there are no petty household cares awaiting her on the threshold, no hurrying to and fro to set things to rights ; so she joins her husband at breakfast with a quiet and cheerful countenance, either to speak or to keep silence as she perceives he would prefer, the conversation ever being such as becometh the holy day, of which there is no lack as long as they have schools to instruct and poor to visit, and the book D 34 THE PARSON'S WIFE. of God before them. When the first bell rings, the parson's wife is ready at the door, with such of her children and servants as are to accompany her ; and on her way to the house of God she lifts up her heart in prayer that her husband's ministry may be blessed both to himself and to his congregation ; that no contentious cavilling spirit may come amongst them, and no hindrance be thrown in the way of life by the infirmities of him who preacheth, or by the evil hearts of those who hear. For this purpose she sets an example of obedience and teachableness under the word ; considering her husband, in the exercise of his important and sacred office, less as her every-day companion and equal, than as her spiritual head, her pastor, and her guide ; receiving his instructions as meekly as the lowliest of the flock ; and this will be found to have the greatest influence both with her children and servants, who THE PARSON'S WIFE. 35 are thereby checked in any presumptuous or light conduct, whether of speech or manner. On leaving the church, the parson's wife avoids lingering in the vestry or on the road, where her mind may be disturbed by common conversation, and her children contract the evil habit of Sunday gossip, wherein the preacher is criticised, the sermon lightly or uncharitably discussed, worldly affairs brought forward, and the good seed of the word picked out of the careless heart, even before they have lost the sound of it in their ears. She hastens with them from all temptation to this sin, and for the most part silently, unless she sees fit at that moment, whilst their little hearts are warm with the exercise of devotion, to press home an application to each soul, and make clear any obscurity in what has been heard. The same may be observed towards a neighbour or friend ; but D 2 36 THE PARSON'S WIFE. usually she finds solitude and silence the best means of retaining that prayerful spirit which she had taken with her to the house of God, and of preserving the solemn truths which the minister of God's word had laid before her. Between the services of the day, the pas- tor's wife devotes a portion of time, first to her own household, seeing that her children and servants are happily and profitably em- ployed with good books; whilst those who are old enough may accompany her and assist at the Sunday-school. After this, and according to the hour of evening worship, she visits some poor neighbour, whom sorrow or sickness keeps at home, and as her husband, through many duties or delicate health, may not be able to do this himself, she endeavours as far as she can to supply his place to them. At night there is still employment in the nursery, where the little ones are taught hymns THE PARSON'S WIFE. 37 and sacred history, whilst the pastor catechises the elder children. Different circumstances may draw forth other duties unforeseen, but she meets them all in the same spirit ; and the last hours of the Sabbath are passed in the intercourse of affection, when those who have thus laboured together all the day turn to each other for mutual rest. The morning began with prayer and meditation, the evening closes with thoughtful praise; and whilst entreating a blessing on their united ministry, they humbly add, " Not unto us, O Lord ! not unto us ; but unto thy name give the praise, and pros- per thou the work of our hands upon us, O prosper thou our handy work." 38 THE PARSON'S WIFE. CHAPTER VII. f)e V arson's ?lltfr airoati. Jt is here probably that the parson's wife is most tried, and requires the greatest cir- cumspection. For at home she has ever her husband near to advise and support her in her domestic duties; but abroad she must needs go oftentimes alone, and both act and judge for herself. Now in this, as in all other cases, she takes the Saviour for the pole- star, and God's word for the chart, by which to steer through the channel of social life with safety to herself, and with honour to her Christian profession. She knows how many THE PARSON'S WIFE. 39 things which are lawful are not expedient, and that any inconsistency of conduct, any wavering of principles, any undue concession to the world, may be a stumbling-block, and an occasion of falling, not only to herself, but to the little ones, and weak ones, of her master's flock. She knows that her dress is criticised, her conversation noticed, her goings out counted, and her steps measured, her laughter weighed in a balance not always just, and her frowns in a scale not always true ; and lifting herself up above the billows of reproach, she rests against the Rock of ages, and looking unto Jesus at every turn of the way, says, " Lord what will thou have me to do ?" One trial is very likely her dress. Every eye is keen to scan the silk, and count the cost, and arraign the fashion as too fine or too plain ; and she might smile, and pass on unheeding these busybodies, to dress as suits her means 40 THE PARSON'S WIFE. and her taste, if she were simply a Christian woman ; but as the parson's wife it becomes her to avoid all offence ; and therefore whilst scrupulously plain and neat in her appearance, without ornament or trimming that can be dispensed with, yet she equally avoids sin- gularity or untidiness and negligence ; bearing in mind that although the apostolic command be, " Whose adorning let it not be that out- ward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or putting on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man of the heart in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price ;"* yet that a meek and quiet spirit may be made more acceptable to many by attention to the dress and manner, even as a gem may be more highly valued when cut and polished than when it lay a dim misshapen thing within its earthly bed, she carries her conscience to her wardrobe ; and * 1 Pet. iii. 3, 4. THE PARSON'S WIFE. 41 conscience knows no trifles from the purchase of a ribbon to the acquisition of a brocade. The poor are especially apt to notice their superior's dress, and the pastor's wife could hardly reprove the vanity in a child, or pride in a cottage, whilst every fold of a flowing robe, and every crisping curl, wrote the same sin upon herself in characters which the very fool could read. Another trial is her visiting. It is her duty to know every individual in her husband's parish, her duty to visit them, to see them at her own house as often as they are willing to come. But there is a narrow path to walk in here) and she needs a watchful eye to keep the track as it winds through every character. Her safest plan is not to lose sight of her own. What says the apostle ? " Wandering about from house to house, and not only idle, but tat- tlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not."* 1 Tim. v. 13. 42 THE PAUSON S WIFE. Certainly, though all may be visited, yet those who most resemble herself will be her chief acquaintances and friends ; and if she be true to her principles and steady in her conduct, the number of these increases con- tinually. Scandal, tittle-tattle, tale-bearing, are the very bindweeds of society ; as the bind- weed destroys the flower, so do they choke every kindly feeling and every noble thought. It is her duty to shun these most carefully ; and she does so most effectually by the in- fluence which a life of prayer sheds around her. She is well acquainted with the plague of her own heart, she feels the burden of her own infirmities, she is accustomed to self- examination and waiting upon God, from which exercises she goes forth so humbly that a brother's fall or a sister's sin can but draw forth silent, pity, kind compassion, and prayer- ful intercession for them. Unknown motives of mistaken good may have actuated them, THE PARSON'S WIFE. 43 or bitter repentance may now be afflicting them. She supposes all good, she speaks not of any evil. " It is useless to repeat that gossiping story to the parson's wife, she will only find excuses if she can, or be grieved and angry with the repeater." Nor does she see any profit in discussing the domestic affairs of her neighbours, " the gentleman's temper, the lady's extravagance, the children's disobedience, and servant's mismanagement. From each individual she will kindly and patiently hear their own sorrows if they choose, but of one another she will not allow a suspicion, if she can help it. Thus even if her conversation be not highly intellectual, at least it is always kind and harmless. There is another thing which she guards against. George Herbert, when he entered upon his ministry, said to his wife, "You are now a minister's wife, and must so far forget your father's house as not to claim a prece- 44 THE PARSON'S WIFE. dence or place, but that which she purchases by her obliging humility; and I am sure places so purchased do best become them. And let me tell you that I am so good a herald as to assure you this is truth." Therefore all haughtiness of demeanour towards her inferiors in rank, all coldness of manner, all offensive looks, she carefully avoids, abstaining from the least appearance of pride ; but with modesty supports her own dignity, and with courtesy respects that of others, counting it her nobility to be a servant of God and of the church. THE PARSON'S WIFE. 45 CHAPTER VIII. Ciir parson's 3 Wife in ttir \3ar isfi. parson's wife in the parish generally is careful to avoid all assumption of authority and management of public affairs. She does not interfere with any of her husband's duties, or give her opinion, unasked, upon matters which belong to him. In the schools or in the almshouses, or such institutions where she visits, whatever her influence or authority may be, it is only that which she receives from her husband ; and in all cases of doubt- ful disputation she refers the disputants to him, setting an example here as elsewhere of 46 THE PARSON'S WIFE. modest submission and humility. If she see that a change of discipline is necessary in any department, either she effects it in her hus- band's name with his approbation, or suggests it privately to him, that he may act as he thinks best, knowing that nothing is more unseemly than to see a woman usurping dominion, and wresting the power from lawful hands to indulge her own self-will. THE PARSON'S WIFE. 47 CHAPTER IX. Or parson's Cllifr at ^rftcol. , more especially the Sabbath school, may be considered as the nurseries of heaven. And here the parson's wife appears as a nursing-mother to the church, to whose care the immortal soul of each little one is com- mitted, while as yet they are too young to enter fully into the holy ordinances of public worship, and cannot follow the shepherd in his teaching. She catechises the children in simple language, leading them to God as to their heavenly and righteous Father, who is "of purer eyes than to behold iniquity,'* 48 THE PARSON'S WIFE. and who is "about their path and about their bed, and spieth out all their ways," teaching them early their helplessness and natural sinfulness, with a constant remem- brance of God's all-seeing eye, that There's not a sin that we commit, Nor wicked word we say, But in God's dreadful book 'tis writ Against the judgment day." Then leading them to Jesus as their friend and Saviour, who so graciously hath said, " Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of heaven ;" setting his great sufferings and love before them, so as to make them hate their sins, and giving them high and noble motives for every good work " The love of Christ constraineth us." Forbearing threaten - ing and punishment as much as possible, which generally tend to harden the heart, she teaches with much patience and earnest- THE PARSON'S WIFE. 49 ness ; studying each little character, so as to give a word in season to every one ; and becoming acquainted with their habits and dispositions by frequently inquiring of their behaviour at home towards their parents, and teachers, and brothers, and sisters, that she may the better encourage the good and reprove the wayward. She speaks in a kind and gentle tone, so as to draw out their affec- tions without fear ; at the same time gravely and steadily, so as to keep up respect. The elder children she instructs with the greater care in the faith of our holy church, that by a right understanding of her precepts and ordinances, they may not only be led into the way of salvation, but be kept from those schisms in the church of Christ which have chiefly sprung either from ignorance of the truth, or from the negligence of those who were the shepherds of God's flock, and faith- less to their charge. So the parson's wife E 50 THE PARSON'S WIFE. useth double diligence in her duty to the young, lest they also turn aside and forsake their mother church. She notices their punctuality in attending public worship, and their behaviour in the house of God, teaching that " God is greatly to be feared in the assembly of the saints, and to be had in reverence of them that are round about him," and that the wander- ing eye, the playful hand, or the careless heart, is an abomination in his sight before whom they stand. Also that those who rudely and thoughtlessly break in upon those holy services, deprive themselves of many blessings, and are displeasing to the great God, who has said, " Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them/' So those who come habitually late to church, and are inattentive to the prayers, sin in a Threefold manner, against God, against their THE PARSON'S WIFE. 51 minister, and against their fellow-worshippers. The parson's wife requires that each child should be neatly and plainly dressed, watch- ing against vanity on the one hand, and careless slovenly habits on the other. Their books also are frequently examined, that they may be kept clean and whole ; not only because a torn and dirty book is unseemly in appearance, and a disgrace to the owner and the school, but also because it denotes a want of reverence to God and to the church, when their holy books are thus disfigured. An attention to these little things is found to be of the greatest importance in the education of children ; for it is a lesson early to be learnt, that nothing is too small for God's notice, nothing too trivial for his care; and even as a mote in the eye will cause blindness and stumbling, so a little sin in the soul will cause its sickness and death. Before leaving the school, the parson's wife K 2 52 THE PARSON'S WIFE. speaks kindly to the instructress, encouraging her in her labours, and supporting her autho- rity before her pupils, leaving more particular exhortations to be given by the pastor him- self. THE PARSON'S WIFE. 53 CHAPTER X. 3*fje parson's 5 iLItfr in tfir Cottage. is not a cottage in the parish, how- ever lowly, (indeed its lowliness and poverty would be the first attraction,) which the par- son's wife has not visited. There is not a family, however rude and ungracious, into which she has not been received ; because whatever might have been their unwillingness to welcome her, whether from conscious wickedness or schismatic enmity, she has, by the influence of Christian kindness and gentle perseverance, triumphed over the opposition, and won them to a better spirit. The effort 54 THE PARSON'S WIFE. has been a painful one, and repeatedly repulsed in many instances where the natural heart would have revolted at the ingratitude and surliness of those she came to benefit, and she might have gaid, " I have made one attempt, but will return no more to that house;" did not the parson's wife so entirely put away self, and consider only her Master's work and the saving of souls, as again and again to make use of any opportunity of doing good to the most unworthy. When afflictions soften the heart, when sorrow opens the door, she has gone back to the sorrowful with words of peace, to the suffering with means of com- fort, to the hardened with renewed offers of grace, and to the indifferent with fresh stimulants of hope and fear, and the per- suasions of God's word to rouse them from their worldliness. To give her more direct access to each house, she joins in every benevolent society, THE PARSON'S WIFE. 55 in some religious associations; and whilst providing linen for the poor, clothing for infants, medicine for the sick ; whilst dis- tributing and collecting as an authorized messenger of good, she never forgets the one thing needful, misses no occasion when a kind word may soften, a warning deter, a promise or a blessing give comfort to the soul. In those cottages where she finds her presence welcome and useful, she visits more frequently, becomes interested in their daily pursuits, enters into many of their troubles, which she often soothes by her sympathy, and lightens by her advice. Here, as elsewhere, she carefully avoids all tendency to gossip and unprofitable conversation ; old people especially are apt to talk a great deal, the worldly of their own and their neighbours' concerns, and even more pious persons indulge in a self-exalted spirit of criticism on others, their spiritual deadness, blindness, back- 56 THE PARSON'S WIFE. sliding, and declensions, which are both painful and unchristian. They are also fre- quently inclined to dwell upon their own peculiar frames and feelings, and make use of conventional terms which mislead them- selves, as well as others, by throwing a false light on solemn and most important truths, and by leading them to mistake their own real position in the way of salvation. These things the parson's wife will mark and patiently labour to counteract by the study of the Scriptures, by exhortations to self- examination, by setting forth the simplicity and perfection of Christian faith, and the beauty of Christian holiness, the love of God which passeth knowledge, and the charity which " never faileth." She knows every child by name, is ac- quainted with its behaviour, and assists the mother in her management of the different characters. She has a library from which THE PARSON'S WIFE. 57 she gives out such books as are most likely to interest and be useful to them, but never lends any work which she or her husband has not first read and approved of. When a family is well known to her, she often assists them in their household management, by suggesting little improvements, giving some useful hints on domestic economy, and writing out a good receipt, which becomes of double value as her gift, and adds a comfort or simple luxury to the cottage dinner. The parson's wife has some things to avoid, which often frustrate a good intention in lady visitors. One is an authoritative and fault-finding manner with the poor in in- quiring into their circumstances, which makes the poor woman shrink even from the kind- ness of her superiors, and look upon those who come to befriend her as censors, if not intruders. A delicacy of manner and respect for their feelings is the best way to draw 58 THR PARSON'S WIFE. forth confidence and respect in return. The poor have oftentimes finer feelings than is supposed, and the sullen answer and the flippant tone are sometimes put on to hide them. Truth may be spoken with gentleness, and made more winning by a kind manner; humility too in the speaker begets humility in the listener. The heart that is conscious of its own corruption will touch carefully on that of another's, and, when very anxious for the salvation of a soul, will fear lest any harsh word should prove a stumblingblock. The parson's wife is very tender in her dealings with the poor. Another thing to be avoided is violent opposition to the religious opinions of those who dissent from the church of England, which is a great hindrance to the very end in view, of bringing the schismatics back to the fold. Instead of reviling dissenters, and dwelling upon the sinfulness of attending THE PARSON'S WIFE. 59 chapels and meeting-houses, the parson's wife more wisely and patiently begins by setting forth the first and fundamental doc- trines of the gospel ; leading these wayward children to seek after a true and stedfast faith, a holiness of life and conduct ; then showing these things to be the very doctrines of the church they forsake, and quietly though earnestly urging them to that unity which is the very bond of peace ; avoiding all con- troversy with care, and speaking humbly yet boldly and plainly for the truth of God's word, and the honour of her church ; ever remembering that truth, though intolerant to error as it needs must be, may still walk hand in hand with that charity which "never faileth." 60 THE PARSON'S WIFE CHAPTER XI. OK parson's