THE 
 
 Wonder Working Water-mill 
 DISPLAYED. 
 
 Apparatus, Appurtenances, Appendages, 
 and Operations j 
 
 OR, THE 
 
 MILL 
 
 TO GRIND OLD PEOPLE YOUNG; 
 
 Erefted and Praaifed by the well known DOCTOR, the 
 learned philanthrophic Friend of 
 
 FARMER- HODGE. 
 
 However old or maimed don't defpair, 
 
 Come forward, you may find relief .when here ; 
 
 Try but the operations of the mill 
 
 You'll own 'twas form'd by more than common (kill. 
 
 The RECTOR. 
 
 NORWICH: 
 
 PRINTED BY CROUSE AND STEVENSON FOR THE AUTHOR, 
 
 SOLD BY STEVENSON, AND YARINGTON AND BACo'N, NORWICH J 
 
 AND BY GIVING ORDERS MAY BE HAD OF ANY OTHER. 
 
 BOOKSELLER IN LONDON OR ELSEWHERE. 
 
 PRICE TWO SHILLINGS AND SIXPENCE TO SUBSCRIBERS ONLY, 
 TO NON-SUBSCRIBERS, THREE SHILLINGS. 
 
 M PCC XCI.
 
 TO THE 
 
 HONEST AND UPRIGHT OF HEART 
 UNIVERSALLY, 
 
 AND TO THOSE WHO ARE POSSESSORS OF 
 
 Pure, undefiled Religion efpecially, 
 
 THE FOLLOWING 
 
 IS MOST DEVOUTLY DEDICATED, BY 
 THEIR SINCERE SERVANT, 
 
 THE AUTHOR: 
 
 - r ,v* 
 

 
 TREBLE PREFACE 
 
 We Firft by the RECTOR. 
 
 BROTHER MORTALS, 
 
 T Have both viewed, refided upon (and at- 
 tended at many operations, indeed I have 
 at fundry times delivered various Lectures at) 
 the Wonder Working Mill I look upon 
 it to be a mod ufeful piece of machi- 
 nery great numbers have experienced the 
 unfpeakable advantages derived from the 
 rules, baths, pedeftal, works and ways thereof 
 I efteem my learned friend the Doctor, 
 who fpares neither pains or purfe to do good 
 My bed advice and ready attendance may 
 be depended upon, fo long as I mail be able 
 to attend, or advife at all The faid Mill is 
 fincerely (and without hope or requeft of 
 farther emolument here) recommended to 
 all the fons of Adam; but efpecially to 
 thofe, who being grown old, (land moft in 
 need of it. 
 
 I am, Brethren, 
 
 Your devoted and conftant fervant, 
 THE RECTOR.
 
 The Second by the DOCTOR. 
 
 KINGS, PEERS, PLEBEIANS, 
 
 (GENTLEMEN) AND OTHERS. 
 ~^HE practice of my predecefibrs for ages, 
 and of rnyfelf for a long feries of years, 
 has been the art of healing j how far we have 
 been fuccefsful it does not become me to 
 fay; let our numerous patients, who are of 
 each fex, of all degrees, ages, and habits, 
 fpeak for or cenfure us my prefent province 
 is to fay, that for fome time paft I have 
 turned my ftudies, in the healing art, prin- 
 cipally to the cafes and cures of thofe who 
 are properly called old. The mill in queftion 
 has been long erected the honour has been 
 too liberally imputed to me; it may be true ; 
 my fortunes (which are greater than my 
 merits) have been employed for the purpofe 
 of carrying the operations of the mill into 
 farther effect I have alfo cheerfully giv-en 
 my attendance, advice, and affiftance for 
 the relief of the difeafed ; provided medi- 
 cines, implements, and the like, moftly 
 without fee; this part of my demeanour I 
 learnt from the worthy Rector of our parifh, 
 
 one, 

 
 one, who though obliged to live decently, 
 (and well-entitled, if he fo pleafed, to live 
 affluently) on the tithes the law of the land 
 gives him, yet, he "never burthens his parifh- 
 ioners by exacting the full tenth, but gives 
 up his whole time and ftrength to ferve 
 them in prefent and future things, for a de- 
 cent fufficiency; part of which he distributes 
 cheerfully to the worthy poor. This, our 
 Rector, who in himfelf feems to me and 
 others, to be a living body of practical Divi- 
 nity, divulged the main of thofe wife and 
 beneficent maxims, by which I learned the 
 conftrudtion and ufe of this aftonifhing mill 
 I not only recommend it to all my fellow 
 creatures, who want (as moft do) cure ef- 
 pecially to the old of every defcriptionj but 
 I fhall be ready, in concert with my Reffor 
 and neighbour Hodge (a good natured, 
 plain, plodding farmer, from whofe blunt 
 hints, conceived in humorous language, I 
 confefs to have gathered fome things both 
 pleafing and profitable) I fay, in concert with 
 thofe and others to be met with at the mill, 
 you will find, without fee, 
 
 Your willing Phyiician and Friend, 
 
 THE DOCTOR.
 
 ( viii ) 
 
 7 be Third by FARMER HODGE. 
 
 LOOK YE, NEIGHBOURS, AND 
 EVERY BODY, 
 
 YOU may take my word for it if you 
 like, and the more to blame you if 
 you do come and try, efpecially old hob- 
 biers, like myfelf, come and try I fay, and 
 I will fay any where, I never faw fuch ano- 
 ther mill (mind ye) in all the whole courfe 
 of my life. 
 
 Witnefs my hand, 
 
 FARMER HODGE. 
 
 From my Farm-houfe, called, Highlands 
 Farm, December 21, 1790.
 
 THE 
 
 Author's General Preface. 
 
 CANDID PERUSERS, 
 
 A Preface to this work is a compliment 
 you will expert it is 'one I ought to 
 pay accept this, and I will be thankful. 
 By a Preface, I conceive, is generally un- 
 derflood Firft, fome account of the Au- 
 thor's motive for intruding himfelf in print 
 upon the public Secondly, A hint of the 
 work itfelf And, thirdly, An apology for 
 the performance, fo far as the 'characters of 
 various clafles of men may be involved. 
 
 As to motives, I mould not know what to 
 fay, did not truth dictate Three months 
 ago I neither thought of a motive to write, 
 or of writing this piece at all, how it came 
 into my mind I know, and if you think 
 the following unadorned, fhort, and artlefs 
 relation, worth a cafl of the eye, you will 
 know, 
 
 a I was
 
 I was defined to attend a perfon of cha- 
 racter and confequence on a matter of buli- 
 nefs in obedience to that define, on Satur- 
 day the eleventh of December laft I rode for 
 the Hall, in which that perfon refided On 
 approaching it, a thought patted my mind 
 concerning " a Mill to grind old People 
 young," I felt fome force in the idea, but at 
 that time only reflected, that when young, 
 I had feen a picture to the like purpofe I 
 arrived at the hall, and was foon difmiiled. 
 
 On my return, the thought frequently 
 occurred with additional vigour ; " a mill to 
 grind old people young," it feemed a thought 
 jftrange and very extraordinary However, I 
 did not feel a flror.g defire to banim. it, it dwelt 
 upon my mind part of the next and the fol- 
 lowing day; I turned over the fuggeftion, 
 and foon thought, fomething under that 
 feemingly whimfical title might be wrote 
 amuling and inftructive; I began to mar (hall 
 my thoughts, and not long after, at lei- 
 fure hours, put them on paper my motives 
 for fo doing was not to fill my pocket as an 
 Author, but to try to do good-, becaufe, I 
 confider that to be my duty as a chriftian, 
 
 having
 
 (having received much good) and as a (ervant 
 of that highly favoured community of which 
 Providence has made me a member. 
 
 The work itfelf has a religious tendency, 
 though, as to language (in various parts) it 
 wears a humorous drefs ; if that be a fault 
 it is mine. It would have been extremely 
 eafy to have put upon it a more folemn, or 
 (to pleafe fome people) a ftarched garb 
 But I was led to drefs it as it appears to the 
 world, from an apprehenfion, that many 
 bufy men, would fcarcely touch, much lefs 
 perufe, a grave toned religious title or tr^ct, 
 if they found fingle fermonizing, without 
 fome relief at feafons, by the introductions 
 of other matters of an inofFenfive, yet fprightly 
 and cheering caft to gratify and lead fuch on 
 from relations harmkfs and pleating, to truths 
 experimental and profitable, -I am fo far a 
 conformift, as to have wrote fundry pages, 
 which the rigid poffee of profeflbrs (who 
 are more fond of affected fixed countenances, 
 fet forms and traditional decorum, than of 
 experimental fubftances, true purity of heart 
 and univerfal good will) will hold up as im- 
 proper, perhaps prophane, frothy, or riciicu- 
 
 a 2 lous ;
 
 lous ; to fuch I chufe at prefent only to fay, 
 here is not a fentence defigned to offend them, 
 therefore, if they cannot cordially approve, 
 let them not ramly condemn I never 
 learned or intended to learn their peculiar 
 creed, and if they are willing to grant me 
 what they moft eagerly and juftly grafp for 
 their mother's funs, (that is) liberty to 
 think lawfully and fpeak freely as I do 
 not prefume to cenfure them, they will not, 
 it is hoped, venture to condemn me. 
 
 An apology is efTentially neceflary, as it is 
 confefTed, fome living characters (without 
 previous licence from fuch perfons) are 
 brought before the reader's eye The bed 
 apology I can make is this as to individuals, 
 it may be better not to make applications; 
 however, no fair one can be made who- 
 ever fairly makes it, to the di fad vantage of 
 any character whatfoever, except fuch general 
 ones as cry aloud for public, not to fay uni- 
 verfal avoidance or deteftation, with regard 
 to refpective bodies of religious men, from 
 a firm perfuafion, that every lincere worfhip- 
 per of God has a degree of charity, and 
 that they all centre in this belief, " We 
 
 muft
 
 muft be prepared for before we can be ad- 
 mitted to Heaven," I have done them the 
 juftice that perfuafion prompted, and have 
 openly faid fo. 
 
 What it is to be ground young is fuffici- 
 ently explained at the end of the work. 
 
 With the moft ardent wifhes for the pre- 
 fent and future happinefs of all, but efpe- 
 cially of the attentive, benevolent, and 
 chriftian readers, 
 
 I remain, 
 
 To the community generally, 
 and to them particularly, 
 
 a willing fervanr, 
 THOMAS MENDHAM. 
 Brifton, near Holt, Norfolk, 
 Feb. 21, 1791.
 
 A Defcription of the Mill itfelf, its 
 Apparatus, Appendages, Perfon- 
 ages, &c. 
 
 The Father and Creator. 
 
 The Son and Redeemer "5 TT 
 
 T^I 07/07/20 xv \ Wl " be ea "v 
 The HolyGboft, Sanchner>> j /> j 
 
 i i x-i r ,-x ( underitood 
 
 And the Chief Operator, j 
 
 The Mill is the true Church of God 
 
 throughout the earth. 
 The Meadow its name defcribes it, i. e. 
 
 Contemplation. 
 The River Reafon that noble faculty of 
 
 the foul, called reafon. 
 The Rivulet the Grace of God, 'which 
 
 brings falvation. 
 
 N. B. Both ftreams run through the true 
 Church, and agitate the main Wheel 
 -that is the Mind of Man. 
 The Hopper a ftate of humiliation, which 
 
 all experience who are truely turned and 
 
 converted to God frequently, when nigh 
 
 to light, they are furrounded by darknefs 
 
 for a little feafon.
 
 The Two Grinders fear of deftruction, 
 mixed with hope of deliverance; who- 
 ever pafs through thefe and are brought 
 forth right, although before they might 
 be like old people, yet, when ground, they 
 become young, or in other words, new 
 creatures. 
 
 Concave Mirror the Penitent's looking- 
 glafs. . 
 
 Convex Mirror the Pharifee's looking- 
 glafs. 
 
 Plane Mirror the true Gofpel glafs. 
 
 The Spout (or opening) all pafs through 
 it the moment they become new. 
 
 The Pedeftal, or Stool true heart-felt re- 
 pentance. 
 
 The Beam and Scales the flandards or balan- 
 ces of the Sanctuary found in the Scriptures. 
 
 Screens interpofing mercies, placed between 
 the tried and the trials. 
 
 The Brumes vigilant ftates of mind, by 
 which old dirty practices are done away 
 for ever. 
 
 The Wards in the courfe of the work ex- 
 plain themfelves. 
 
 The Baths baptifms and divers warnings. 
 
 The Rector the Paftor of the church. 
 
 The
 
 xv 
 
 The Doftor a Phyfician of fortune, who 
 
 gives up his time, and part of his wealth 
 
 in the caufe of religion. 
 Hodge a plain, blunt, honeft farmer, who 
 
 at firft heiitated about, and rather oppofed 
 
 the 'works of the mill, but afterwards was 
 
 willingly ground himfelf. 
 Hannah, Robert, Audrey, and Sufan, his 
 
 wife and children, early and fecret con- 
 
 verts there are many others of the fame 
 
 clafs at the mill. 
 The Young Men and other people thefe 
 
 are fincere chriflians, who reiide in God's 
 
 Spiritual Houfe the Church. 
 The other characters will /peak for them- 
 
 felves, and, therefore, need here no ex- 
 
 planation. 
 By the Appendages, and country, without the 
 
 Gate, is meant, the wicked and worldly- 
 
 minded people, who forget God, and are 
 
 ftrangers to the privileges real religion 
 
 affords.
 
 ( xvii ) 
 
 THE 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 A Defer iption of the Mill its Jituatwn ap- 
 pendages apparatus appurtenances a t- 
 tendants, &c. P^ge i 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 Sundry occurrences andjlrange reports about the 
 Mill A Jew perfons venture to walk in the 
 Meadow they approached the Millpafjed 
 through -the operations , and became young 
 Aftaft on the occafan. -* ,-,-.;. 5 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 ^he young men returned to their own country 
 
 and families they were derided and abujed by 
 
 fome others, however, withdrew, and walked 
 
 in the meadow. 9 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 Some account of Lord Lothario his manner of 
 life the confequcnces his' hiring Jofeph, one 
 of the young men from the mill and his going 
 with him to the Meadow, the Mill itfelf, 
 '- - - 16
 
 ( xviii ) 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 Some account of Farmer Hodge and his fa- 
 mily his wife, fon, and two daughters 
 ground a converfation at Hodge s houfe 
 about grinding an alarm a mob at the mill 
 Fireface and his crew come to pull it down 
 the mob drove away by Hodge and his 
 people. - - Page 25 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 A further account of Lord Lothario, and no- 
 tice of another great perfonage, one Farmer 
 George, &c. &c. who came to the Mill. 42 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 A mad fcene, &c. &c. or Jllght view of the 
 Infide of Bethel, alias Bedlam. 52 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 Some further account of Farmer George of 
 his wonderful ^recovery, and of other mat- 
 ters. 59 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 Lord and Lady Fajhion A Phllofopher and a 
 brace of Lawyers come to the mill Curious 
 converfation pieces, &c. 65 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 An account of a remarkable Quaker who came 
 to the Mill an inter ejling contejl between 
 him and Hodge other perfons approaching, 
 
 79 
 b
 
 CHAPTER XL 
 
 Their characters explained, and they prove to be 
 
 a Popifo Priejl A Prejbyterian A Bap- 
 
 tifl A Methodift Preacher And a New 
 
 Jerufalemite, with parcels of their refpeffive 
 
 JJocks The profeffors weighed Some found 
 
 wanting, &c. Page 9^ 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 Hodge confents to le ground enters the mill 
 and the works is drawn ajide by his old 
 companions jor a tim. -joins them to ring a 
 peal of bob-majors is alarmed leaves off' 
 ringing and returns to the mill is rightly 
 ground, i. e. made new, and all ends hap- 
 pily, f - ,' - - 1 1 8
 
 THE 
 
 Wonder Working Water-mill 
 "DISPLAYED. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 A Defcription of the Mill Its Situation Ap- 
 pendages Apparatus Appurtenances At- 
 tendants, &c. &c. 
 
 THIS falutary, medical and reftorative 
 Mill ftands upon a delightful verdant 
 meadow, whofe grafly furface, like a velvet 
 carpet, is evergreen; the old inhabitants of 
 the fpot, in ancient days, called it the Mea- 
 dow of Contemplation. Directly through 
 this meadow runs a bountiful river, called, 
 the River of Reafon - f near which flows in 
 conftant foothing murmurs, a clear pellucid 
 rivulet, which often, not always, is received 
 
 B into
 
 into the bofom of the aforefaid river, it is 
 called the Rivulet Celeitial ; both the river 
 and rivulet run through the center of the 
 mill, and agitate or turn the main wheel, 
 with its falutary apparatus. Befides the wheel, 
 the apparatus comprifcs the hopper, wide 
 enough to contain more than are willing to 
 enter it the two grinders, between which 
 the patients are tried and turned, or cruihed 
 and maimed, according as they are found pre- 
 pared or infincere the fpout, or funnel, by 
 which all thofe find a paffege who endure 
 the neceflary trials there is in the Mill like- 
 wife a feat, ftool, or pedeftal, which has this 
 ftrange property, whoever gets upon it con- 
 fefles voluntarily the faults and follies of his 
 pad life fo long as he fits there alfo a beam, 
 a pair of fcales, with fundry weights, by 
 which the honefly, fincerity and hopeful fuf- 
 ficiency of thofe who are weighed may be 
 afcertained likewife a concave mirror, thofe 
 who look into this fee their crimes or virtues 
 magnified a convex mirror, here, every thing 
 on the contrary appears lefs than they are 
 there is alfo a large and noble plane mirror, 
 or looking-glafs, in which all things appear 
 as they are; moreover there are fkreens, 
 
 brumes
 
 ( 3 ) 
 
 ^ * - " 
 
 brumes, and fundry other things not here to 
 be particularized. The attendants are the 
 Re&or, the Doctor, Farmer Hodge, and 
 fundry others, who will appear when the Mill 
 fhali be fet a-going. Thus, thoughtful rea- 
 der, you have been told of the meadow, the 
 mill, the river, the rivulet, the main wheel, 
 hopper, grinders, fpout, feat, ftool, or pe- 
 deftal, beam, fcales and weights, concave 
 mirror, convex ditto, plane ditto, fkreens, 
 brumes and attendants. 
 
 N. B. If you are old and want grinding, 
 try this mill, and, that the operations may 
 cod happily in your favour, is the hearty wifh 
 of your fervant 
 
 The EDITOR. 
 
 But, a word of the Appendages before we 
 end the Chapter. 
 
 By the appendages are meant, not techni- 
 cally, thofe things only that belong to, but 
 thofe alfo that are near the Mill or the Mea- 
 dow j thofe that belong to the Mill comprize 
 fundry feparate wards; as the wards fet apart 
 for oratory, trial, filence, watching, and other 
 
 wards.
 
 ( 4 ) 
 
 wards. There are the bathing rooms alfo, 
 and a certain fountain belonging to the Mill; 
 in thefe weak patients are often, if not always, 
 lengthened, and enabled to aft with power 
 and effect. Thofe that are near, but do not 
 belong to this fpecial precinct, would take a 
 volume to defcribe ; we {hall only fay there- 
 fore, jufl beyond the bounds of this place, 
 there are palaces of falfe pleafure, decorated 
 mimic mounts, long avenues, arched gates, 
 and wide gateways, broad ways, and crooked 
 paths, where may be feen unmeaning pro- 
 mifers, tinfel grandees, falfe colours, apifh. 
 modes, ridiculous cuftoms, gay-coated beg- 
 gars, fops, fools, fidlers, fortune-hunters, 
 wine, women, wenches, and a thoufand other 
 things; and there your ears will be faluted, 
 if not deafened, by prologues, compoied of 
 unmeaning compliments, fijly play fibs, 
 forged flatteries, rank reproaches, caufelefs 
 careffes, and petty petitions ; and your eyes 
 may be enchanted or dazzled with ribbons, 
 laced coats, furbelowed petty ditto, refin and 
 cat-gut, wine, bumpers, and veftals ; but, 
 after the curtain drops, you'lljiave epilogues 
 of pallad appetites, pilfered purfes, pallied 
 limbs, and horrid midnight, morr\kig, or 
 
 death-bed
 
 ( 5 \ 
 
 death-bed reflections; from all which, thofe 
 who pafs through the Mill fi nee rely fay 
 
 GOOD LORD DELIVER US. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 Sundry occurrences and ft range reports about the 
 
 Mill A Jew perjons ventured to walk in the 
 
 Meadow, they approached the Mill, puffed 
 
 through the operations) and became young A 
 
 feaft on the occafion. 
 
 THE fame of the Mill, its ways and 
 works, foon reached the ears of thofe 
 who dwelt t'other iide the borders ; throngs, 
 from time to time, approached the ikirts of 
 the Meadow, but were too my to* fet foot 
 upon it; they looked and went their ways, 
 anon they returned and looked again, at length 
 feveral ventured to come in at the gate that 
 lay to the right, and almoft inftantly became 
 ferious and thoughtful; they approached the 
 river Reafon drank of its falutarv ftreams- 
 
 * 
 
 the Doctor, with the Rector, who kept a 
 
 good
 
 ( 6 ) 
 
 good look out, came together to difcourfe 
 with them, and at the very time they were 
 drinking large draughts of the waters of the 
 river the Rector pointed out the Rivulet, 
 and afTured them, though the River water was 
 good, that of the Rivulet was infinitely bet- 
 ter he added, it is equally free come tafte, 
 and fee how good it k they tatted, and 
 found the flavour fo excellent, that they 
 earneflly afk for more, and had it; de- 
 lighted with its comfortable qualities, they 
 entered the Mill, with the Rector, Doc- 
 tor and others who dwell on the fpot, and 
 who feeing them come forward went out 
 to meet them ; the new comers having walked 
 far, and- being weary, fit themfelves down on 
 the feat or pedeftal that {lands there, juft by 
 the front door, they inftantly began to cry 
 out you would have been amazed to have 
 heard them one and all moft bitterly la- 
 mented; they acknowledged (to the CHIEF 
 OPERATOR, one who was nigh and heard 
 them) by what means they became feeble and 
 old, they exprefled the moft alarming appre- 
 her/ions, that notwithftanding the fame of the 
 Mill, they certainly came there to be totally 
 undone. The kind Rector took from the 
 
 archieves
 
 'V ( 7 ) 
 
 archives the records of the place he read, 
 and aflured them, none ever were undone 
 who patiently endured the operations of the 
 Mill The Doctor brought an emetic, which 
 (thinking their cafe could not be worfted) 
 they took, it operated powerfully, fo after- 
 wards he gave them a cordial they were led 
 to examine the main wheel, the hopper, the 
 grinders, the funnel, beam, fcales and weights, 
 the glafles, brumes, and many other things- 
 upon which they, with one confent, re- 
 quefled to be received ; they were received, 
 and after paffing through the wards, proving 
 the ufe of the three mirrors, and after having 
 their linen well warned, and their garments 
 brufhed, they readily entered the hopper, 
 panned between the grinders, and defcended 
 by the fpout, fo aftonimingly altered, that, 
 except their flature, (which continued the 
 fame) they appeared as young and as vigo- 
 rous as thofe who boaft their meridian of 
 days, or full blown bloom of life; it would 
 have been highly pleafmg to have feen them, 
 with the Rector, Doctor and dwellers at the 
 Mill, how they triumphed together (Old 
 Hodge was not there). It was determined 
 upon to celebrate the event with a feaft 
 
 the
 
 ( 8 ) 
 
 the feaft was foon prepared, the whole com- 
 pany fit down; they eat fuch things as arc 
 the beft, they drink (but only to comfort, 
 not to intoxicate) the richeft wine When 
 all the young men who had gone through 
 the operations defired to drop their old and 
 have new names ; new names were given 
 them, and before the company broke up 
 one of the new named flood up and fung 
 the following fong : 
 
 Could the croud of unbelievers 
 
 Tell the joys we tafte of here, 
 Soon they'd fly from you, deceivers, 
 
 Join us and our comforts lhare. 
 None fo happy, none fo peaceful, 
 
 None fo cheerfully can fmg, 
 As we men whofe hearts all graceful, 
 
 Flame with love unto our King. 
 
 CHAPTER
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 *fhe Young Men returned to their own country 
 and families They were derided and abufed 
 by fome Others, however, withdrew, and 
 walked in the Meadow* 
 
 THE feaft being over, thefe new comers 
 faid one to another, let us now return 
 home to our families and friends, and bring 
 along with us, when we return, fuch as are 
 old and infirm, to embrace, as we have 
 done, the benefits of the Mill ; they, with 
 hearty thanks to all the operators, efpecially 
 to the Chief, returned, running, leaping, 
 walking, tinging, and telling the wonders 
 they had found at the Mill > but their coun- 
 trymen hooted them, and faid, they were 
 outlandim people, come from Satan's dun- 
 geon, or the Peake, in Derby mire, or elfe 
 from Lapland, where the world is full of 
 witches, or fome where or other; or they 
 might be blown amongft them by a whirl- 
 wind, or dropped like frogs from a cloud, or 
 water-fpout. But fays the bucks, bloods, 
 bawds, beauties, bravos, jack-puddings, pof- 
 C ture-mafters,
 
 ture- mailers, tumblers, wire-hoppers, mi- 
 mics, mock-manners, fneerers, grinners, 
 fbme of the grave men too, get out, or 
 l kick you out ye young monfters, be 
 gone, here's no abidance for you Old Fire- 
 face, the landlord of the inn, called the Jof- 
 fy Topers, came, and flaring upon them, fet 
 up a horfe-laugh, and fwore by the bottom 
 of his butts, he had had the honour to keep 
 the largefl inn in the whole univerfe for up- 
 wards of three years and three quarters, in 
 the very heart of the kingdom, where he had 
 entertained Potentates, Princes, Peers, No- 
 bles, Ambafladors, Amblers, and all the 
 people of the firil rank in the four quarters 
 of the globe, but he never in all his life be- 
 fore faw or heard of fuch a pack of rabfcal- 
 lionly, rude, rafcally, ill-looking, ill-fpoken, 
 intolerable, unfufferable, unbearable fet of 
 furfeiters as thefeare. Faugh ! fays old Red 
 Nofe the drawer> the imps fmell of brimilone. 
 Depend upon it, cries Prirn, the pimp of the 
 Bagnio, by fome fly flratagem they found a 
 chink on one fide or the other of flrumbelow, 
 or perhaps have crawled out of the bottom- 
 lefs pit to infedl us. At the inflant up comes 
 Lawrence La(h, the driver of the flage coach 
 
 from
 
 from afar; and he, after hearing a part of the 
 charming converfation, and looking fteadfaftly 
 at the Grangers, leeringly protefted, he had 
 travelled over all the world (partly) and his 
 coach, the beft any road could boaft of, had 
 tranfported creatures of all nations and lan- 
 guages, but (fays he) I fwear, on the credit 
 of my old horfe Quitter, I never faw fuch a 
 pack of paltroons as thefe are in my life, ex- 
 cept once when my flying machine was waf- 
 ted over land and lea with a parcel of parTen- 
 gers to Jerufalem ; there indeed I did fee 
 fome fuch monfters and though thefe have 
 loft their (long beards, or) chin-geers, depend 
 upon it they are Jews ;i Ay, ay, fays Fire-face, 
 Red-nofe, Pimp, 5cc. &c. Mr. Laih, you 
 are all o' the right on't We dare fwear they 
 are all rank Jews, and are corne here to clip, 
 flew, and fweat all our guineas, and take us 
 in again for the ninepences and fixpences; 
 away with thefe Solomons, Mofes', Aarons, 
 and Jacobs from the face of the earth ; lay 
 hold of them there, duck them, drown 
 them At that turbulent time, an old wo- 
 man, with halfpenny puddings and penny 
 pies, worn down in the fervice of the place, 
 flood by, and fhe began to whine out, hold ! 
 2 hold!
 
 hold! fons, you are all in the wrong, they 
 are neither Jews nor Chriftians, ye fools you ; 
 why, I have in my early days been in Tur- 
 key, through Holland and China, and fo I 
 can tell you what they are, why they are 
 Hottentots or elfe Cherokees, the one or 
 t'other of them Why you lying old bag- 
 gage, fays Pimp, that can't be, for they have 
 not black fkins Good lack a day, child, fays 
 the old wench, I did not mind their fkins ; 
 a buftle amongft themfelves foonenfued, and 
 in the confulion the men made their efcape, 
 and each, after agreeing at a fixed time to 
 meet at the Mill, returned to his own fa- 
 mily. 
 
 But can you believe it ! they feemed as 
 ilrange to their relations as they did to their 
 countrymen thefe were fure, (they faid) 
 they were not the fame creatures they ufed 
 to be, their geftures, looks, lives, language, 
 tempers, in mort, in every thing they were fo 
 altered that they neither could nor would 
 bear with them ; to be fo often talking about 
 the meadow, the mill, the river, rivulet, 
 fountain, ftool of repentance, wards, watch- 
 ings, and a heap of outlanding gibberifh; 
 and then to diflike all their old favourite ways, 
 
 to
 
 ( '3 ) 
 
 to fhim the mounts, gates, broad road, (the 
 eafieft way in the world to walk in) to def- 
 pife thecuftoms of the country, and above all 
 to teflify againft thofe honeft fine fellows 
 Fire-face, Red-nofe, Prim Pimp, Lam, the 
 driver, and all the fine folks of the place, and 
 laftly, to raife a report that moft of the peo- 
 ple of that place were grown old, deformed, 
 crippled, or enfeebled, and therefore wanted 
 grinding, was intolerable, infufferable, pro- 
 voking, inflaming, difmally dangerous, and 
 not to be fufFered ; therefore, with one con- 
 fent they laid hold of the young men, and 
 drove them away out of the place. 
 
 Soon as they were left, they afTembled to- 
 gether and refblved to return to the mill, 
 and to beg of the Rector and Doctor to let 
 them abide there j and at the fame time to 
 declare, that for food and raiment they would 
 not long Be chargeable, for that as foon as 
 the hurly burly was over they would go into 
 the country by day, and endeavour to get 
 labour for their hands. That they would be 
 faithful to their employers, ftand their hours, 
 earn their wages* and each evening come 
 back and affift in grinding, if they might but 
 be permitted to lodge at the mill ; their re- 
 
 qucfl
 
 ( 14 ) 
 
 queft was foon gratified, they took up their 
 lodging there, and for fome time remained in 
 peace with the Rector, Doctor, Ailiftants, 
 and fome times with old Hodge, who fuffered 
 them to viilt his farm-houfe, and as he 
 thought them good fellows, he fet on two or 
 three of them to work at his farm. 
 
 In a mort time, the remainder, early in a 
 morning, walked into the country, and 
 afked for employment, being now unknown, 
 fome inilantly got into bufinefs, fo did the 
 reft fometime after ; thus all were got to 
 work, and able to earn enough for them- 
 felves in their moderate way of living, and 
 found fomething to fpare; this overplus the 
 young men always gave to the worthy poor, 
 efpecially to the fick, the blind, widows, fa- 
 therlefs children, and orphans j and they 
 thought and found in the end, what they 
 gave in charity was like feed fown on a good 
 foil, for it brought a very large encreafe 
 moreover, wherever they came they would 
 talk, when proper occafion offered, of the 
 meadow, the wonderful mill, the Rector, 
 the Doctor, and the peaceable, happy young 
 people who dwelt on the fpot, fo that many 
 looked upon tKem and wondered ; fome 
 
 thought
 
 ( '5 ) 
 
 thought them mad, fome drunk ; fome faid 
 they were dreadful deceivers, for that there 
 was no fuch mill under the fun ; 'twas a 
 cheat from top to bottom, nor were there 
 any people fo happy upon earth. Others 
 coniidered the matter more attentively, and 
 watching the ways of thefe men, and obferv- 
 ing they appeared happy, and were found 
 faithful and honeft, began to think there 
 muft be fomething more than common in the 
 matter 5 Mark! the laft had juft before (to 
 get out of the noife of their place) withdrew 
 in the twilight, and took a turn or two in 
 the pleafant meadow, but had never gone fo 
 far as the mill, &c. 
 
 CHAPTER
 
 CHAPTER IV 
 
 Some account of Lord Lothario Ills manner of 
 
 life 'The conferences His hiring Jojeph, 
 
 one of the young men from the mill And his 
 
 going u-itb him to the meadow, the mill it- 
 
 felf y 
 
 AMONGST the laft was a Noble Peer, 
 heretofore called Lord Lothario, who 
 happened to employ one of thefe young men 
 in the capacity of fu peri n ten dan t, over his 
 numerous domeftics, and who, at his leifurc 
 hours, (which were but few) had not only 
 obferved fomething fingular in the fellow (as 
 he called him) but led by curiofity he had 
 queftioned him at length he repofed great 
 truft in him, for he found Jofepb (that was 
 his name) took care to keep his inferior fer- 
 vants at their employments ; and not only fo, 
 but he rebuked them for and kept them 
 from extravagance, gluttony, and drunken- 
 nefs, fo, that his eftate, which before was 
 weak, and about to be put out to nurfe, 
 began to grow ftrong; and this fo far drew 
 
 his
 
 ( I? ) 
 
 his condefcenfion and regard, that he fre- 
 quently fpoke to Jofeph ; and Jofeph taking 
 now and then an opportunity to drop a 
 word about the wonders of the mill the 
 Chief Operator there the meadow, the Doc- 
 tor, the Re6tor, his companions, Farmer 
 Hodge and his family, &c, One day, I'll 
 tell you what, Joe, fays Lothario, I have 
 company coming to dinner, and am engaged 
 at a rout about midnight; but if in the 
 evening you'll flop in your way home at the 
 right gate of your meadow (as you call it) 
 I'll come to you there in difguife, and if 
 you o'nt difcover me, I'll pafs for one of your 
 people, and flip with youjnto the mill, only 
 to take a peep at her and your gentry there; 
 J fhall be glad of that, fays Jofeph, my Lord, 
 and if your Lordfhip will forgive me, I wifh 
 you may be prevailed upon to try the works 
 of the wheels, and that you may find as 
 much benefit as I have done Thank ye, Joe, 
 but hum ! Joe ? My Lord ? I fuppofe one 
 can have a little entertainment there, have you 
 
 1 
 
 any good wine at the mill? the beft under 
 Heaven, my Lord, but it is not fuch as 
 your Lordmip ufually drinks; Well, well, 
 but are there _any pretty girls there, Jofeph ; 
 
 D you'll
 
 you'll excufe me, but I am very fond of the 
 fair-fex, though, to tell you the truth, I can 
 do little more than talk with them Pretty 
 girls, my Lord, yes, a few of the youngeft, 
 fineft, and mpft beautiful girls in the world, 
 and yet, pardon my bluntnefs and freedom, 
 my Lord, I firmly believe not a lewd one 
 amongft them The deuce lye ye, Joe, ex- 
 claimed Lothario, if they are young, fine, and 
 beautiful, they are not all veftals; however, 
 go at eve to the gate, and depend upon it you 
 /hall have me for a companion. 
 
 At evening, as ufual, Jofeph returned in 
 his way to the mill, he entered the meadow 
 at the gate, and fat down to wait for Lotha- 
 rio. In the leifure half hour, as he feldom 
 was idle, Jofeph, ever cheerful, folaced him- 
 felf by finging a fong, and when we have 
 drawn the outlines of the Peer's character, 
 perhaps you may hear it. 
 
 Lothario had the fortune (or misfortune, 
 which ever it is, for the learned are divided in 
 their opinion on the fubjecl:) foon after he 
 was born, to be entitled, by the demife of 
 the Peer, his father, and death of the Dow- 
 ager, his mother, to a diftinguifhed title and 
 a princely fortune, to wit, a landed eftate of 
 
 about
 
 '- v ; : , ;. ' ( 19 ) ; ;',-.,-: l ; 
 
 about 6oool. a year, and ioo,oool. in the 
 , funds ; during his minority, tho' frequently 
 indulged, yet bridled in part by preceptors, 
 tutors, guardians, and others, he could not 
 (as he ufed to exprefs it) have fufficient el- 
 bow room ; to be fure, he was half compel- 
 led to learn fomething, and being of a quick 
 turn of mind, was led up, not only to a to- 
 lerable but to a good education j moreover, 
 he was foon accomplimed in the fashionable 
 fancies of dancing, fencing, 'riding the great 
 horfe, and anon, he got himfelf accomplim- 
 ed in the fine arts of hunting, racing, gamb- 
 ling 1 , wagering, fwearing, banqueting, and 
 wenching; he had indeed before eighteen an- 
 ticipated his fortune (as fnug as he could) 
 about 6o,oooL by borrowing at about 50 per 
 cent, of Jews, and lavishing away the mo- 
 ney upon people called Chriftians. At the 
 age of twenty-one, (happy sera) a grand 
 feaft was held at Lothario's hall, to celebrate 
 the happy moment, when he became his own 
 matter but by the care and attention of the 
 dizzy, untrufty rafcals (fervants I fhould 
 have faid) about him, it is reported to have 
 coil him not much more than the trifling 
 fum of 2500!. Before twenty-two he had 
 D 2 the
 
 ( 2 ) 
 
 the honour to keep a ftud of the bed racers 
 on the turf, (till others beat them). Before 
 twenty-three he loft by racing and betting 
 about fix times more money than the horfes 
 coft him, tho' true, they coft twice their 
 worth, he having paid, firffc and laft, about 
 1700!. for them. At twenty-four he fold 
 them off, and purchafed a dozen very fine 
 hunters, and pack of fox-hounds, at the 
 moderate price of 450!. he kept them one 
 year (huntfman,'whippers-in, whippers-our, 
 fportfmen, fervants, 6cc. included) fo cheap 
 'tis fuppofed as at about 580!. Before tw<hity- 
 iix he diflocated his neck in a chace, by 
 plumping at a thick-fet hedge to out-leap 
 one of his tenants, who happened to be 
 mounted on a better hunter than his Land- 
 lord, and who had the impudence to pufli 
 the Peer, fuppofing (as he afterwards laugh- 
 ingly faid) if his Landlord had broke one 
 neck, he carried another in his jacket pocket; 
 fome kind brother fox-hunter tumbled off 
 his fteed, and after fixing his dirty knees 
 againft Lothario's (houlders, and his nervous 
 hands beneath his caput, feemcd to be pul- 
 ling off the Peer's head, as one would pluck 
 off the head of another fort of pigeon-, but, 
 
 however,
 
 2I 
 
 however, he reduced the diflocked part, 
 and his Lordfhip, after fome cluttering in 
 his throat, and involuntary tears from his 
 eyes, began to breathe, and his noddle be- 
 ing fupported whilft he laid on the grafs, his 
 carriage was fent for, he was conveyed to the 
 hall, recovered in^two months, and juft be- 
 fore he got about again, one day his valet 
 heard him mutter to the following effe<5l; 
 If there be any fox-hunting in - , I wi(h 
 my horfes and hounds all there, they have 
 coil me monftrous fums, and nearly broke 
 my neck into the bargain My Lord, fays, 
 William, his iteady valet, (for his fervants 
 at times dare take liberty to fay any thing to 
 him) I have heard my Grandmother fay, 
 Lucifer never rode a fox-chace in his life, and 
 that if the monies the horfes and hounds 
 coft were given to the pitiable poor it- would 
 fill many an empty belly Empty belly, well, 
 well, mine is empty enough ; Will, don't let 
 the Doctor know it, but give me a bumper 
 of brandy, here's a guinea for you. 
 
 Will? My Lord ? I'm fick of hunting, 
 tell Tom Trimmer to-morrow to fend all 
 the horfes to Tatterfall's. They were' fent, 
 and at the fall of the hammer, that Gentle- 
 
 man
 
 ( 22 ) 
 
 man knows what they fold for as well as 
 I do. 
 
 N. B. Some of the pack, 'tis laid, got the 
 murrain, and the others were fo\S very cheap 
 indeed to a young Lord who was juil then 
 ahout to fet up the fame fort of bufinefs. 
 When Lothario grew befter, and became 
 cool, his old Steward took courage enough 
 to remenftrate with him in the money way, 
 creditors by crouds came about the hall, and 
 began to be infufFerably clamorous; tell 
 them, fays his Lcrdfhip, I am not at home, 
 (fibbing being quite fafhionable in fome great 
 houfes) anon, however, the hall grew too 
 hot His Lordfliip faunters out, drops in at 
 the inn, called, the Jolly Topers-, Fire-face 
 all but kifs'd his feet, calls his wife to take 
 his Grace's orders, but took care firft him- 
 felf to bring into diflant view a learn of 
 wenches ; he affured Lothario his drawer was 
 devilifhly honeft, never made a double chalk, 
 or extravagant bill in. all his life ; as to Prim 
 Pimp, the white-headed waiter, (tho' he faid 
 it that ought not to fay it) in the flem way, 
 there was not a better provider in all the 
 world; your Grace may have here, faid he, 
 
 (for
 
 (for he was corned, or mellow) cheaper than 
 at your Lordmip's hall, my Lord, of the 
 finefl relim, four, or two-footed flefh of 
 every kind ; and, as to my wine Pray, my 
 Lord, mall I get your Grace a bottle, and 
 fend Flora with it, I dare fay your honour 
 would not like to be waited upon by one of 
 us the he's Well, Mr. Fire-face, fays my 
 Lord, fend your wine and one of your (he's 
 He did fo; my Lord did not relifh the 
 wine, but he liked the wench, and fo took 
 her into keeping upon articles; foon he grew 
 cloyed, took another, then another and ano- 
 ther, he fported a variety of new carriages, 
 had about twenty fervants in fine liveries ; he 
 and his favourite lafTes, by turns, rattled 
 away to mafquerades, plays, balls, routs, 
 races, and every where; till, by when he was 
 thirty, his ready cam was fquandered, his ef~ 
 tates mortgaged, and his body fo emaciated, 
 enfeebled, and enervated, that had you met, 
 you might eafily have miftook him for an old 
 man oj Jixty ; it was at this period he bad 
 jofeph go and wait for him at the gate. 
 
 Now
 
 ( 24 ) 
 
 Now for the fong that Jofeph fung whilil 
 waiting at the meadow gate. 
 
 Lord Lothario make hafle, 
 Oh that you for once could tafle 
 The fweet pleaiures of the miii, 
 Thofe I felt there, and feelftill; 
 Here's a heart that's always glowing," 
 Here are pleafures ever flowing, 
 Freed from all the noifc and ftrife 
 Of a difllpated life; 
 Come, Lothario, come away, 
 Come, or I'll no longer flay. 
 
 On't you, Joe, fays the Peer (who then, 
 though after the fixed time, arrived at the 
 gate) well, good manners bid me thank you 
 for flaying fo long, ope the gate, may I fol- 
 low you Yes, my Lord, fays Jofeph He 
 opened the gate, Lothario entered the mea- 
 dow, and the moment he fet his foot on 
 that delightful ground he began to contem- 
 plate. The Peer and Jofeph walked toge- 
 ther (as if equals) the Peer being incog. 
 Jofeph introduced him ; they entered the 
 mill, the family received Jofeph and the 
 ftranger, and there (reader if you pleafe) we 
 will leave them, and flep over to Hodge's 
 farm to fee what is going forward there. 
 
 CHAPTER
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 Some account of Farmer Hodge and his family - 
 His wife, fan and two daughters ground A 
 converfation at Hodge s houfe about grinding 
 An alarm A mob at the mill Fire-face 
 and his crew come to pull it down T^he mob 
 drove away by Hodge and his people* 
 
 YOU were told before (reader) that Hodge 
 had employed two or three of thefe young 
 men They wrought diligently, the farmer 
 was well pleafed, but took no farther notice 
 of them than to fay when they came for 
 their wages, Boys ! you are good labourers, 
 there's a milling a piece for you above your 
 hire Dame ! tell Audrey to get them a cann 
 of beer; this latter they took if they wanted 
 it, if not they declined it But as they came 
 into the kitchen at meal times, and con- 
 vered with the fervants and fome of the 
 family, they were often finging (having good 
 voices) to thofe about them And afterwards, 
 would talk of the wonderful Mill, the Chief 
 Operator, the Rector, Doctor and, many 
 E things
 
 ( 26 ) 
 
 things their converfation the well known 
 character of the Rector and Doctor, and many 
 other things confpired together fo, that Han- 
 nah Hodge, the Farmer's wife, Robin, his 
 fon, Audrey, his eldeft, and Sufan, his 
 youngeft daughter, all had (unknown to 
 Hodge whilft he was about his fields) gone 
 to the meadow and mill ; and (in fhort) pri- 
 vately patted through all the operations* be- 
 fore Hodge was aware of the matter How- 
 ever, he could but obferve his Hannah, who, 
 tho r ufually chearful, would fometimes be 
 pittering and pittering about the goings on 
 at the farm, &c. now me was always eafy 
 Robin too, who ufed to cut and rip, and try 
 to drive away every thing before him, now 
 was as meek and mild, as cool and calm as 
 could be. Audrey, that had a vaft nack at 
 dreffing and fcolding, reduced her head- 
 plumes and bridled her tongue ; or elfe (he 
 now fpoke fo kindly to the maids, that they 
 all wondered and liked her Little Sue, a te- 
 dious peevifh girl, who before was always 
 for her own mind, and would cry and bawl 
 if not pleafed in every thing, now wore a 
 conftant fmile on her face, and was always 
 
 * At this mill perfons of all ages find benefit. 
 
 in
 
 ( 27 ) 
 
 in good humour Hodge wondered what 
 was the matter, but at length he began to 
 fmell a rat (as he call it) had a ftrong fufpi- 
 cion they had been a grinding (as fcoffers by 
 that time began to term it) and he grew 
 angry. Now, though he had a very high 
 refpecl: for his old friends the Redor and 
 Doctor, yet, conceiving mean notions of the 
 mill, and fuppofing that half the time .of 
 his family would be taken up there, whilft 
 his farm would be neglected, and all run to 
 rack, he thought within himfelf, after his 
 humorous way, 
 
 Let it be underftood, 
 Hodge nip this in the bud. 
 
 For (d'ye mind) fays he to himfelf, if I 
 don't nip off the bud, here will grow a 
 flower by and by (obferve ye) that I fha'nt 
 like the fmell of So that evening, when the 
 Farmer came home, refolved, right or wrong, 
 to begin upon thenv He happened to find 
 his wife and fon Robin looking into an old 
 dufty book by the fire fide, whilft Audrey 
 and Sufan, with the three young men, (the 
 labourers from the mill) were fet near them. 
 Well, Robin ! fays he, have you looked 
 after the horfes ? Yes, father ! but I fhall fee 
 
 E 3 to
 
 to them again before fupper Before fupper! 
 fays Hodge (obferve ye) I doubt you deferve 
 none, go fee to them now boy Robin obeyed 
 Hark ye, Audrey! have you helped to milk 
 the cows? Yes, father. Well, but have 
 you taken care (mind ye) that the wenches 
 Strapped them clean ? I am afraid you neg- 
 led: the bulinefs, and half the cows will 
 get the gargut, by your lazinefs Father, 
 fays Audrey, you never told me I was lazy 
 before No, no, you ufed to be well enough, 
 but I have feen what I don't like, and I (hall 
 fpeak what you don't like Here, Sue ! 
 Papa? Go hold thelanthorn for Robin 'till 
 he cleans the horfes Where's your rock ? 
 what, no fpinning to night? I have fpun a 
 fkein, papa Go, hold the lanthorn, 1 tell 
 you, get you gone you little urchin Sufan 
 
 ran a paufe . 
 
 after the paufe, fays Hodge to his Hannah 
 Well, wife, (obferve ye) what are you after ? 
 you feem wonderfully mute now a- days < 
 what book is that you are poring over to- 
 gether, Robinfon Crufoe, or the works of 
 Fox, the leather-coated quaker ? aye, 'tis a 
 quaker's book I fuppofe, for (obferve ye) for 
 fome time paft you have been wonderfully 
 
 filent j
 
 filentj but, however dame, I'll make you 
 fpeak Throw away your book, or I (hall 
 kick it 1 know not whither Here, Prue I 
 get me a pint of my ftrong fUngo (mind ye) 
 -^-bid Robin and Sue come in ^Audrey, 
 where's your cap that coft 75. 6d. how came 
 you to have a plain cap and fillet about your 
 head ? Young men (obferve ye) go home 
 to your mill, I think to turn ye all off to- 
 morrow morning Give me my ftick, wife, 
 I'll go and fee after my buiinefs myfelf, I 
 fmell a rat, you are all idle, and the rent of 
 my farm, and the rates of the parifhj at this 
 courfe of life, will ruin us all. Pray, my 
 dear, fays Mrs. Hodge, what is the matter, 
 what hafl thou been fpending thy market 
 penny, hufband? what is amifs? all our bufi- 
 nefs is done, and "can there be any harm, after 
 the toils of the day, to fet down and read the 
 records of the wonderful mill ? Mill, fays 
 Hodge, there's the rub ; aye, that's what I 
 thought of; why, look ye wife, the mill 
 will grind all your brains out, if you have 
 any; but methinks you have been there 
 before hand ; however, wife, though I love 
 you, and have lived with you thefe thirty 
 years without a quarrel before, yet now I 
 
 tell
 
 ( 3 ) 
 
 tell you, if you attempt to go to the mill a 
 grinding, depend upon it you have done liv- 
 ing quietly, or at all, with your old huf- 
 band Hodge. 
 
 Wife Wilt turn me out of doors, dear huf- 
 band ? 
 
 Hodge Doors, no, I love you too well 
 for that yet; but if you want to read, why I 
 have wrote more than you can underftand, or 
 I myfelf either perhaps, Dame (d'ye mind) 
 why prythee read the works of your huf- 
 band. 
 
 Wife My dear, your works aim to do 
 good, and your heart I know is honeft, but 
 charity begins at home firft, get good done 
 to thylelf hufband ; here's a book * gives 
 me more comfort than a thoufand of your 
 writings, and the works of the mill are be~ 
 yond your comprehenfion. . 
 
 Hodge Hark ye, wife, don't provoke me, 
 away with your new noftrums, mind your 
 butter and cheefe, chicks and chickens, and 
 keep your children up to the work Mark ! 
 I love the Rector and the Doctor as well as 
 you do, and have heard (obferve ye) a deal 
 
 * The Bible, 
 
 of
 
 ( 3' 
 
 of talk about the mill, I have been at it, , 
 but never patted through it, nor do I intend 
 it, for, d'ye mind, we are not millers, and fo 
 we can't live by grinding. 
 
 Wife My dear hufband, I always was 
 and always will be yours ; you know I love 
 you (afk the experience of thirty years) our 
 children doat upon you, we will all obey you, 
 except in matters of the mill; but I will 
 frankly confefs, whatever is the confequence, 
 my fon Robin, daughter Audrey, myfelf, and 
 even little Sufan, have all patted through 
 the operations, though unknown to you, and 
 we are happy the laft and beft of my wimes 
 for you, my dear hulband, are, that you 
 alfo may pafs through, be made as happy 
 as we are, and then we mall be all one for 
 ever. 
 
 Hodge What do I hear? am I in a dream? 
 what, haft thou been through the mill, and 
 did you hide it from me? Well, be it fo, 
 I have always trufted in my own care, under 
 Providence, to guide me, I have been ho- 
 neft as far as I could, have brought up my 
 family, with the help of God, and you, but 
 in deep things I know, wife, you are more 
 ferious, and therefore better acquainted with 
 
 fuch
 
 fuch likes than I am ; and fo go on, Han- 
 nah, go on my children; although I have 
 fpoken in an ill temper, yet I don't fee, to 
 fpeak the truth, that you are altered for the 
 worfe ; fo go on I fay. I mall never go a 
 grinding with you, but, however, we will 
 love one another. Drive on the bufmefs of 
 the farm (d'ye mind) and every one. flail gd 
 his own way I'll go mine, fays Hodge. At 
 this inftant the convention was interrupted 
 by halloo! halloo! Matter Hodge, Mafter 
 Hodge, and all that are within, come quickly 
 to the mill there's a great mob around it, 
 and a riot; they are about to pull it down, 
 and threaten to drown the Rector, Doctor, 
 and all the folks there; therefore, you and 
 your people go quickly and repel the mob. 
 
 Hodge The Devil (d'ye mind) feems to 
 be let loofe now a days give me my crab 
 itick and conftables flaff, for I am conftable 
 of the parifh (obferve ye) call Robin Here, 
 call our men Ralph, Roger, Valentine, Tom 
 Where's the maids Bridget, Ruth, Mar- 
 garet, and the reft of you-; let the boys be 
 called, Halloo! where are you, Sam, Ned,' 
 Tibly, Trimmer, where are the young men 
 of the mill are they home ? here, all of you, 
 
 take
 
 '..;,, 33 ) 
 
 take your whips, flails and pitchforks ; wo- 
 men take your brumes and broom ftalks ; 
 Audrey and Sue (can you fight with your fa- 
 ther ?) lay hold of your ftools, pattens, and 
 rock fiaffsj come along I'll hobble before 
 you, and lead you to battle I don't like 
 your grinding way (mind ye) but I love the 
 Rector and the Doctor and all about them; 
 therefore, come along quickly, 'well never be 
 governed by a mob We'll go and drive them 
 off the ground, or I'll fhiver my crab-thorn 
 and conftables ftaff to pieces ; and (obferve 
 ye) before they (hall drown my old friends 
 (come along) here's old Hodge, who in this 
 right caufe will venture his life for them 
 Away hies Hodge all the family and fer- 
 vants followed him, the ploughmen and fer- 
 vants took their weapons ; the wife, chil- 
 dren, and young men took none; we leave 
 them going to refcue the Rector, Doctor, 
 &c. and to fave the mill, &c. mean time we 
 ought to tell you how the uproar happened. 
 
 It happened thus, 
 
 Jofeph and the Peer, as you heard before, were 
 arrived at the mill, where, to the aftonifh- 
 nient of Lord Lothario, he found, by con- 
 verfing with the Redor, Do&or, the young 
 
 F men,
 
 ( 34 ) 
 
 men, and people on the fpot, what he had 
 heard from Joe was true He became fo 
 charmed with the converfation of thefe peo- 
 ple, and profited fo much by a lecture that 
 happened to be delivered that evening, that 
 he refolved not to go, as propofed, to the 
 midnight rout of Lady Rittle Rattle, but to 
 abide with them there at leaft for that night, 
 if they would fuffer him to reft amongft 
 them ; he was (hewed a room decently 
 furnimed, in the filent ward, which lies 
 next the ward oratorial. Being fhewn, 
 to his bed by one of the young men of the 
 place (who foon retired) and being left in 
 profoundyfe-rc, he began to reflect upon the 
 life of diffipation he had led from his earlieft 
 days, this drove fleep far from him his 
 mind was filled with fear, and that night 
 he took no reft; early at the cock-crowing 
 in the morn ing, he heard an audible voice in 
 the ward of oratory; to which, liftening 
 with profound attention, he found it was the 
 Rector in the article of prayer; refolved 
 to atife, he did fo, drefTed himfelf, and went 
 foftly to the fide of the oratorial ward, near 
 which flood the low feat, pedeftal, or ftool 
 (of repentance) he let himfelf down upon it, 
 
 and
 
 ( 35 ) 
 
 and inftantly found himfelf jftrongly inclined 
 to confefs all that was in his heart his au- 
 dible confeflion alarmed the Rector fo, that 
 after morning matins were over, he came to 
 the Peer, examined him as to the prefent 
 flate of his mind, and having good caufe to 
 hope he was a fincere penitent, allotted him 
 a place in the oratorial ward. 
 
 In that ward he continued for fome time, 
 and a report being fpread in the fuburbs 
 that Lord Lothario was got to the mill 
 Lady Kittle Rattle being difmally difappoint- 
 ed of the Peer's perfonal appearance at her 
 rout Old Fire-face alfo miffing his gifty 
 gueft, and Prim Pimp, having loft his beft 
 Mafter (as the Mines of the Bagnio had 
 their golden cull) moreover, it being re- 
 ported, that if he was indeed gone a grind- 
 ing, the very art would fall by which they 
 had their ill got wealth. Fire -face, his 
 Drawer, Pimp, his wenches, a drummer, a 
 brace of butchers and learn of link boys -, (the 
 drummer and boys being hired by the bounti- 
 ful landlord of the Jolly Topers] all confpired 
 to go in bataliato ftorm the mill, bring away 
 the Peer by force, and not only fo, but to 
 pull down the buildings, for fear the laid 
 
 F 2 mill
 
 ( 36 ) 
 
 mill fhould undermine their trade ; and more- 
 over, if they could catch the Rector, Doc- 
 tor, and the young fellows that had been at 
 work amongft them, they refolved to drown 
 them all in their ditch, to prevent farther 
 mifchief To this laudable end, having pro- 
 cured a cart, on which Fire-face placed the 
 fag end of a butt of beer, to fpirit up his crew 
 when they came to action ; the whole poffe 
 marched forward The Boft of the Jolly To- 
 pers led the van, Red Nofe, his drawer, 
 followed, Prim Pimp, and a learn of profti- 
 tutes were at their heels; the Drummer next, 
 with his drum, the Butchers with their mar- 
 row bones and cleavers; a hundred idle filly 
 boys clofed the cavalcade, and they arrived at 
 the gate of the meadow and fummoned the 
 men of the mill to furrender at difcretion, 
 gave them two hours to confider of the mat- 
 ter, fwore, by Bacchus, if in that time they 
 did not furrender, the mill mould go down 
 to the earth, and they would give no quar- 
 ter, and that the Rector, Doctor, or who- 
 foever refitted, mould be inftantly drowned 
 in the ditch mean time, boys, fays Fire-face, 
 to keep up your fpirits and cheer your hearts, 
 we'll tap and drink this butt of good ale here 
 
 The
 
 ( 37 ) 
 
 The cup was handed about, they fooh got 
 dreadfully drunk, and then, with all their 
 force, puflied open the gate, and entered the 
 meadow ; but, being drunk, they could not con- 
 template - y however, they ilaggered half way 
 from the gate towards the mill. When 
 Hodge and all his people (fome armed as 
 aforefaid, others not armed) Hodge at their 
 head, arrived there, Hodge forgetting his 
 lamenefs leaped .over the hedge, he entered 
 the meadow and the mill, crying out, halloo ! 
 here ! where's my Rector ? where's the Doc- 
 tor? wheihe's all your people? are ye alive? 
 where's the mob ? what's the matter ? The 
 Rector calmly ftepped forward, the Doctor 
 followed, and told Hodge, the mob, with 
 Fire-face at their head, were then in the mea- 
 dow drawing near the mill But, fays the 
 Doctor, we have barricaded the door, fo that 
 we think they cannot get in Get in, fays, 
 Hodge, (d'ye mind) open the door, Parfon, 
 that we on t'other fide may get out and have 
 at them I don't fancy your mill much, it 
 makes a deal of outcry, but I love you my 
 old friends, I think you better than thole 
 that threaten you, and if you be worfe, the 
 Devil (obferve ye) muft be in you Here, 
 
 Robin,
 
 ( 38 ) 
 
 Robin, my fon! where's your pitchfork 
 Father, fays he, I don't truft in fuch arms 
 You puppy, you ! well (fays Hodge) we can 
 manage it without ye, only open the door 
 Bob, I long to beat them Robert did fo; 
 Hodge and all his armed fervants (who were 
 but few) marched out, and foon met Mr. 
 Fire-face with his motley mob, in the mea- 
 dow Hodge began to contemplate (fuch 
 was the nature of the place) but he had not 
 time to contemplate much, for Fire -face and 
 his troop were at hand ; therefore, Hodge, 
 having his conftable's flaff in one, and the 
 crab flick in the other hand, called out aloud 
 Hark ye every one of you mobbers, mon- 
 gers, or whatever you are, I command you 
 in the King's name (d'ye mind) to halt, and 
 before you ftir one ftep farther tell us what 
 bufinefs you have here, and what ye come 
 for Who's that ? fays Fire-face, give him 
 an huzza my boys; halloo! huzza! they 
 fhouted huzza! huzza! a butt of beer Fire- 
 face for ever, and down with the mill; drowa 
 the Rector, duck the Doctor and all the 
 crew, down with, down with them When 
 the noife fomewhat abated, Hodge called 
 again aloud, Fire- face, where are you? . 
 
 Here
 
 ( J9 
 
 Here I am ! fays Old Butts, who are you ? 
 what's that Old Hodge? I think I know 
 your voice Know my voice, fays Hodge, 
 yes, and I know you from head to foot, you, 
 ye fwaggering fwill-tub how dare you. 
 come here with your fiery face and carbuncle 
 fnout to deftroy and to kill ? if Beelzebub 
 has an eldeft fon upon earth you are he, you 
 carry fire in your countenance Hark ye ! 
 Bridget, give me a match, that I may try 
 to light it at the end of that fot's nofe, and 
 burn his empty fcull to ames Who have 
 you got behind you ? by the fmell of his 
 brandy-fcented breath I think 'tis that rafcal 
 Red-nofe And who's next ? an't it your 
 Pimp? the gallows, you three villains, have 
 groaned years for you (obferve ye) you know 
 I know you, and in the Kings name, (mind 
 ye) I command you, one and all of you, in- 
 ftantly to difperfe, and ftagger to your homes, 
 or by all the authority of a conftable (who 
 might charge every body, or any body, to 
 mufter amongft us) I vow, this ftaff and this 
 crab ftick, together with the arms my peo- 
 ple are furnimed with, mall, if poffible, drive 
 Lucifer out of you ; and, moreover, if you 
 refifl, we'll take you prifoners, and fet you 
 
 all
 
 ( 40 ) 
 
 all o'the flocks I defy you, you old hob-" 
 
 bling ion for a w ! exclaimed Fire-face, 
 
 and with that, threw his pewter tankard at 
 Hodge's head, which gave him a fevere fous 
 o'the noddle Hodge uplifted his flaff, and 
 with one ftroke brought Fire-face to the 
 ground, his foreman encountered Red-nofe, 
 hisfecond man Prim Pimp, his thirdfirftkick- 
 ed out the bottom of the drum, and fecondly, 
 drummed upon the back of the drummer 
 with his fork-fhaft ; the female fervants 
 plucked off hats, caps, pads, cauls, curls, 
 and every thing from the heads of the lewd 
 wenches, and fet them a capering with their 
 rock ftafFs; in fhort, the mob foon drew 
 back, old Fire-face bawled out aloud, he 
 was killed already Red-nofe fcreamed blood ! 
 broken bones! murder! Prim Pimp bent 
 his marrow bones and begged for his life, 
 proteiled he was let into this fcrape by the 
 old fcoundrel his mailer, but never would 
 he, to his laft gafp, procure another wench, 
 or join another mob if it would oblige the 
 whole town; for, fays' he, my opinion is, 
 they are all wicked Lay hold of them ! 
 fays Hodge, lay hold of them ! I myielf 
 can bade a dozen of them, put them all in 
 
 the
 
 ;. ( 41 ) 
 
 the flocks ! But by this time feeling the 
 blows, and beginning to grow fober, they 
 all daggered out of the meadow; Hodge 
 finding them fled, returned to the mill The 
 Rector, Doctor, the Peer, young men, and 
 all the family, exprefied their hopes that nei- 
 ther Hodge or his fervants had got harm 
 Harm ! fays Hodge (d'ye fee) we might have 
 got harm enough for all you, for you did us 
 no good ; but (obferve ye) I love the Doctor 
 and Rector, and all of you, but your mill 
 makes fuch a noife I advife vou to take it 
 
 J 
 
 down yourfelves, fell the materials, and let 
 us hear no more of the matter. 
 
 The Rector and the Doctor fmiled the 
 young men faid, they wimed Hodge himfelf 
 was ground I believe you are all a good fort 
 of folks, faid he, but I don't like grinding; 
 however, whilft I can hobble to defend you 
 they fha'n't knock you o'the head; you do 
 them no harm. So Hodge and his family 
 departed to their farm, and the people at the 
 mill, after entering the oratorial ward, with 
 thankfgiving for deliverance, retired to reft, 
 and from that time their adverfaries were fo 
 abafhed, that they gave up Lothario, and the 
 works of the mill went on in peace. 
 
 G CHAPTER
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 A further account of Lord "Lothario, and no- 
 tice of another great perfonage, one Farmer 
 George, &c. &c. who came to the mill. 
 
 AT the time of the riot, Lord Lothario 
 being in the oratorial ward, heard no- 
 thing of the buftle When at night he was 
 informed of the particulars by the people of 
 the place, he faid I do not wonder Fire- 
 face and the reft muft be alarmed at mif- 
 iing me Lady Rittle Rattle too is no doubt 
 difcompofed, as my appearance and purfe, 
 gave life to her midnight revels but I have 
 done with them all, I feek more of what I 
 never tafted 'till I came here Peace of mind 
 is the portion I pant for my conftitution is 
 injured and my cam fquandered my real 
 eftate alfo is mortgaged, but I do not defpair 
 I will pafs through thefe wards, and ei- 
 ther return to my poffeffions a new man, or 
 perifh here. 
 
 Pie
 
 ( 43 ) 
 
 He was as good as his word He pafled 
 through all the operations of the mill he 
 became a new creature he reflected much 
 upon an event that happened in his earlier 
 days; he had injured a chafte beautiful young 
 Lady, of family, though not of fortune, by 
 breach of his promife to wed her She had 
 long been pining away as a reclufe on account 
 of Lothario Says the Peer I wronged her 
 then and will marry her now, it is all the 
 amends I can make her ; fo, with unbounded 
 thanks to the Chief Operator, the Rector, 
 Doctor, and people of the mill, he departed, 
 fending Jofeph before him to tell his people, 
 their Lord was coming home foon he ar- 
 rived; he directed Joieph to fee, that all 
 things about him were conducted decently 
 His commands were chearfully obeyed, all 
 things fmiled around him, peace, regularity, 
 and fobriety now met at Lothario's hall His 
 old land-fleward rejoiced his mortgages 
 were foon difcharged- he fent for the amiable 
 girl, protefled his penitence, and being again 
 believed, fhe gave him her hand, and they 
 were married From that period the Bride 
 and Bridegroom (for (he had been at the mill) 
 went hand in hand, to make themfelves and 
 
 G 2 all
 
 ( 44 ) 
 
 all about them (by example and afts of be- 
 nevolence) honeft, hopeful, and happy ; the 
 i/Tue of the marriage at prefent is an only 
 fon we wilh him to enjoy his father's bene- 
 fits and his mother's virtues. Old Fire-face, 
 at the "Jolly Tiopers, foon broke 'his wife had 
 not cared much if he had broke his neck, 
 for he forced her into that lewd way of life) 
 Red Nofe, the drawer, drank himfelf to 
 death Prim, the pimp, commenced pick- 
 pocket, and was tranfported The wenches 
 at the inn became ftreet- walkers, and "were 
 committed to the houfe of correction, where 
 we mail leave them, in hopes of amendment, 
 to take notice of another great perfon who 
 came to the mill. 
 
 There lived in a large town hard by the 
 mill a moft opulent farmer, called by fome 
 FARMER GEORGE, a truly refpectable per- 
 fon, and his dame was one of the moft amia- 
 ble women in the world ; they had a large 
 family of the lovelieft children the county 
 could boaft of, and for many years led a life 
 (as fome faid) of uninterrupted profperity 
 
 but,
 
 ( 45 ) 
 
 but, as the largeft lap can never latch a lot 
 without a crook, fo our farmer and family 
 anon found, feveral occurrences that grieved 
 and perplexed them, efpecially the farmer 
 himfelf, who, it is thought, laid fome of the 
 dijagreeables too near his honeft heart he be- 
 came fore vexed, and did not carry the cafe 
 upon his countenance that heretofore he 
 wore. Mrs. George (who/by the bye, fome 
 think, had herfelf been before at the mill, 
 but fecretly) was the firft who difcovered the 
 violent agitation of her beloved's mind; me 
 watched his motions with all the tendernefs 
 of one who thought (he could not five if 
 he was loft. 
 
 The farmer, to make off the fatigue of 
 abundant bufinefs, and get rid of a throng of 
 fervants who perpetually peftered him for 
 directions, wandered alone thro' part of his 
 farm-lands, as far as the meadow the gate 
 happened to be open, and he walked in 
 very foon he began, with greater attention 
 than ever, to contemplate A dark cloud, 
 which at that inftant hung diredly over his 
 head, fo affrighted him, that, to hide him- 
 felf, and get out of the rain, which fell 
 freely, he ran he knew not where; butef- 
 
 pying
 
 ( 46 ) 
 
 pying one of the wards of the mill, to which 
 he was haltily approaching, open, he ran 
 into it for fhelter j it was the Ward of Trial, 
 Here the Doctor going his rounds in the 
 evening, with the Rector, found the diftref- 
 fed farmer both recognized his countenance, 
 and the Rector inftantly faid Fanner 
 George, peace be unto thee The Doctor, 
 who attentively obferved him, approached 
 with a bow, to feel his pulfe, but George, 
 inftead of holding out, lifted up his arm, 
 and in the anguifh and flurry of his mind, 
 knocked down the Doctor flat on his back 
 The Rector was a little alarmed at this, but 
 the Doctor arofe with a fmilej I know his 
 cafe, fays he I have received no harm, we 
 muft deal gently with him The people of 
 the mill hearing a noife, foon came; they 
 laid they knew and reverenced the farmer 
 Mrs. George (his wife) was fent for, me 
 flew to her Lord (forfo the often called him) 
 George knew her the children, one and all, 
 foon as they heard of the ftate of their father, 
 and where he was flickered, came running 
 to the mill ; every one eager to foften his 
 forrows, and waive his woes ; the eldeft fon, 
 a mere noble fpirited youth (feme juvenile 
 
 ftibles
 
 ( 47 ) 
 
 foibles apart) the town ne'er faw, was pierced 
 to the heart with the moft poignant grief 
 for his father The head fervants at the 
 farm-houfe began to beftir themfelves, for a 
 report had reached them, that he was befidc 
 himfelf A confultation was held the whole 
 town was in confirmation, moft men lament- 
 ed the farmer's hard cafe ; many faid, they 
 were fure he could never recover in fhort, 
 tho' not naturally, yet he was already legally 
 dead, and, therefore, another perfon ought 
 to manage the farm, and who was fo fit as 
 his eldejlfon. 
 
 Two (or more) of the chief labourers, 
 however, were of a different opinion, they 
 faid, whilft the old farmer was alive, his el- 
 deft fon had no more right to manage the 
 bufinefs than the fervants had ; they faid, the 
 leafe of the farm itfelf would bear them out, 
 and juftify them in fb faying Wilkinfon, 
 the head man, behaved rudely, and thun- 
 derer, the fecond man, roughly, to the fon; 
 but their behaviour fprung not from an aver- 
 lion to the heir, but partly from the natural 
 fear of convulfive changes, which might af- 
 fect themfelves ; and moftly, from an attach- 
 ment to the Jather-, on thefe accounts, there- 
 fore,
 
 .( 48 ) 
 
 fore, they feem very excufable Some others 
 of the fervants, however, (out of employ- 
 ment) rigoroufly combated the ftrange doc- 
 trine, and infifted upon it, that, according 
 to the leafe, right reafon, juftice, and com- 
 mon fenfe, during the father's incapacity, the 
 fon ought to ftand in his fhoes all was 
 confufton, for the head men were perfuaded, 
 if the fon mould be fuffered to vault into 
 the father's faddle, if he did not ride over, 
 yet, he would certainly put them out of em- 
 ployment, and take in others In the in- 
 terim, the conduct of the heir deferved, and 
 gained him unwerfal applaufe; the opennefs 
 of his heart never appeared before in a point 
 of view fo applaudably brilliant God fave 
 my father, fays he, let him live, and wbilft 
 he lives, I am contented to rule, or not rule 
 * take care of my father ! Mrs. George 
 would never leave him without compulfion, 
 and when forced to do fo, her laft look on 
 her Lord forced cut tears ; moft of the peo- 
 ple at the great town and fuburbs (ftrange as 
 it may feem) hearing the deplorable flate of 
 the head man of the place, mourned, and 
 drew up many petitions to the Chief Opera~ 
 tor at the mill for his recovery. 
 
 One
 
 ( 49 ) 
 
 One day it happened, when the ftewarcls, 
 team-drivers, thremers, and about feventy of 
 the farmer's fervants were at the mill, con- 
 fulting about what was to be done with their 
 Mafter, Miftreft, the Son and the farm ; Old 
 Hodge, having heard a deal of ftrange news, 
 waddled down to the place, and finding the 
 Rector, Doctor, Sec. bluntly demanded of 
 them Where is Farmer George ? He is 
 within, faid they, but he is fadly, you can- 
 not fee him But I will fee him, fays Hodge, 
 (d'ye mind) why mould I not ? Becaufe he 
 has much company with him Well then 
 (obferve ye) fays Hodge, one more can make 
 no great difference, I wifh to fee him myfelf 
 (d'ye mind) for I love him he's not yet got 
 into your hopper (as you call it) I fuppofe, 
 is he? No, friend Hodge, faid the Rector, 
 I wim he was; but as you are fo earned, 
 come along, the Doctor and I will introduce 
 you They did fo Hodge found him fitting 
 on a fofa in the ward of trial, and in the ave- 
 nue all his fervants were in the ad: of argu- 
 mentation Well, fays Hodge (to the firft 
 man he met) how is, where is, 'my friend, 
 your mafter ? Honeft countryman, faid the 
 fervant, my mafter is mad Ay, fays Hodge, I 
 . H do
 
 ( 5 ) . 
 
 do not wonder, here's enow of ye (d'ye mind) 
 to make any man mad I have been half mad 
 myfelf fometimes, with fuch folks as you are; 
 but (obferveye) I am brought a bit to myfelf 
 again where's his wife ? where's his fon ? 
 and where's the other children ? with their fa- 
 ther, faid the fervant Well then let me peep 
 at them all (d'ye mind) and fo he did. 
 
 Farmer George was fitting in a declining pof- 
 ture, leaning his aching head on his confort's 
 bofom ; the eldeft fon fet by him in tears, all 
 the other children were fobbing around him ; 
 the general cry of the whole family was, Oh ! 
 my Lord, my Hufband ! Oh ! my Father, 
 my Father! The fervants, meantime, full 
 of arguments, were debating, whether them- 
 fe/ves or the fon mould carry on the bufinefs 
 Look ye ! fays Hodge, that there woman 
 is a charming dame that youth (d'ye mind, 
 foibles apart) is a brilliant boy all them 
 there lovely children are amiable and you, 
 the feventy fervants, may be well enough in 
 your ways, but I doubt you love meat as well 
 as majler Look you here ! if my friend the 
 farmer cannot do bufinefs, his fon mould ftep 
 into his pkce 'till he gets well to be fure 
 For (d'ye mind) fuppofe I was as he is, if 
 
 my
 
 my fervants were to treat my fon as you do 
 his (odds and ends boys) if I got well again, 
 I mould never thank you and depend upon 
 it the youth on't thank you, whether his fa- 
 ther lives or dies ; but it runs in my head- 
 piece (d'ye mind) that you had better go 
 home, get your fuppers, and take a nap, for 
 (unlefs I augur wrong) if the Farmer be 
 left amongft the folks here at the mill, he 
 will get well again, and drive on bufinefs as 
 brifk, perhaps brifker than ever. 
 
 The fervants thought Hodge a ftrange 
 homely fellow, but, however, having done 
 confulting, they retired The Re&or won- 
 dered, the Do&or fmiled, Dame George, 
 the heir, and children, returned, for the 
 night, to the farm ; the farmer was left with 
 the Re&or and Dodtor to be quiet in the 
 ward of trial; where, for a time, we mall 
 leave him, in order that in chapter the 7th 
 we may prefent you with what you don't ex- 
 peft. 
 
 H 2 CHAPTER
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 A madjcene, &c. &c. or flight 'view of the 
 irtjide of Bethel, alias Bedlam. 
 
 ONE of Farmer George's fervants over 
 officious, firmly believing his matter 
 was mad, concluded bedlam mufl be the beft 
 place for him, and flyly flipping away from 
 the mill, fleered his courfeto the great build- 
 ing, folely appropriated for the reception of 
 lunatics He rapped at the door, the porter 
 anon opened it, and he demanded, with a 
 voice of fome authority, a room in the houfe 
 for his mafter ; Why, Sir, fays the porter to 
 him, you mufl: fpeak to the Governor, the 
 Governor will fpeak to the Doctor, and the 
 Dodtor will diredt the keeper to mew you a 
 proper ward for your Mafter, if he thinks- 
 him, when he fees him, an object of chari- 
 ty Charity ! fays the fervant, we will have 
 our mafter well taken care of, but we don't 
 want chanty; we mall pay you well for 
 Farmer George's lodgings, if you can do 
 him any good, but let me be fhewn to a 
 place where he can be taken good care of, for 
 
 a better
 
 <,: ... ( 53 ) ',.__; ;,:, 
 
 ft better Matter I fhall never have Well, 
 fays the porter, I will call the keeper, you 
 fhall fee the wards; and if one be empty, 
 do but get a ticket from the Doclor, and your 
 Matter may be brought here as foon as you 
 like; I (hall advife you, however, to take a 
 hort jacket for him, one that, if it be pro- 
 perly put on, (I'll mew ye how) will con- 
 fine his arms and hands, and prevent his 
 doing mifchief to himfelf or any body elfe; 
 you. pay ios.6d. for it, and when it is re- 
 turned you will have the half-guinea again; 
 the fervant paid for, and took the jacket on 
 his arm, the keeper was called, and he took 
 the fervant with him, and (hew him firft, a 
 ward, over the door of which, in large Ro- 
 man characters, was written 
 
 The WARD of HOPELESS LOVE. 
 
 Let me look in, fays the fervant ; the keeper 
 opened the door; a window without glafs, 
 high in the wall, difcovered a lovely youth, 
 all but naked, ftretched on the ttraw; in his 
 hand he held a curious twitted knot, com- 
 pofed of the fame materials that conftituted 
 his bed The lunatic darted, upright; 
 Well Tom! fays he, where's my Phillis?T-. 
 
 hc.ve
 
 ( 54 ) 
 
 have you brought her ? we fhall he married 
 to-morrow $ Look Tom ! for my part I am 
 ready here's her nofegay, (mewing the knot 
 of ftraw) and here's her ring, (holding up 
 
 a link of his leg chain) Come coy Phil- 
 
 lis Where's my father, mother, brother? 
 come along to the wedding, Who are the 
 Bride's maids, Tom ? tal, de ral. 
 
 Hair fo black, and eyes fo brown, 
 Heaving bofom foft as down ; 
 Lips more red than cherries fine, 
 Cheeks whofe blufh will fhame carmine; 
 Arms and hands as white as fnow 
 Graces move whene'er fhe go, 
 Voice, 'tis mufic's mellow flow. 
 
 See! my Phillisj there me pafs Cruel, 
 coy, but lovely lafs ; Hollool you there;, 
 Halloo ! You have ftolen my wife, kidnap- 
 pers! thieves! robbers! I'll moot you all to 
 atoms ! And with that he threw a handful 
 of ftraw at the head of the keeper, and 
 George's fervant, and laid down exhaufted. 
 Shocked, he paft that, and came to the ward of 
 
 DISAPPOINTED LOVE. 
 
 There laid a beautiful lafs, Straw never 
 before bore fuch tranfient treafure (hefcarce 
 
 lifted
 
 ( 55 ) 
 
 lifted up her head, but foftly murmured- 
 Strephon won my yielding heart, and then 
 he foon forfook me ; I fwim here, on a glafly 
 fea, and fhall foon fink into an ocean of fire; 
 Ah! Strephon, 1 forgive theej my loft 
 love I forgive thee Nor do I wi(h thee to 
 float upon this fea of glafs nor to burn in 
 yon boiling ocean, Tom ! (fays fhe to the 
 keeper) d'ye know that Strephon has mar- 
 ried the old rich widow ? Well, it was for 
 her money but money will not make my 
 Strephon happy; I heard the wedding bells 
 ring, and they have almoft diffracted me 
 but I wifh them well ; good bye Tom. 
 She laid down her lovely head j The keeper 
 pulled George's fervant away, for he ftood 
 like a frozen ftatue, and they pafled the other 
 wards till they came to one called 
 
 The WARD of MISTRUST. 
 
 In this ward, clofe up of a corner, with his 
 back towards the door, fat a meagre figure, 
 fcarcely to be diftinguimed from a real fkcle* 
 ton ; he held between his two hands a fome- 
 thing the fervant could not tell what, and 
 therefore he afked the keeper what he held ? 
 fays the kind keeper, he hugs be- 
 tween
 
 tween his hands his Idol, or in other words, 
 his Bag of Money, fpeak to him he'll tell his 
 own tale : Well father! fays George's fer- 
 vant, How go times ? The lunatic firft 
 clenched his fifts fafter, turned his head, and 
 leering flyly upon him, muttered, O Lud ! 
 
 Lud! I mall be ruined, ftarved, perimed! 
 I have loft already a falling out of my bag, 
 Give me the milling, pray give me my mil- 
 ling! I cannot fpare it rags and ruination 
 
 1 mall not have enough to carry me to the end 
 of my journey, I mall come to the work- 
 houfe,and if i do lam refolved directly to hang 
 myfelf ! Never you miferable mifer, fays 
 George's fervant, unlefs fomebody gives you 
 a halter. And then old hunks was left, with 
 lefs regret, and they foon came to 
 
 The WARD of AMBITION. 
 
 In this ward, a ftrongrobuft perfon, rather 
 in years, (a player by profeffion) was found : 
 he wore a mod monftrous high cocked hat, 
 decked with feathers, and his coat was gar- 
 nimed with pieces of gilt Dutch paper He 
 was walking to and fro, in a moft command- 
 ing manner, and as foon as he faw the keeper 
 
 and
 
 ( 57 ) 
 
 and George's /ervant, he exclaimed, Hear ! 
 Haves ! hear! know your mafter! know ye 
 rafcals that I am Lord of Lapland I married 
 the Auguft Princefs Ruttee Rodunta 
 Roundelay Rumpus Imperially; me bore 
 me feven children, all of them, except one, 
 are dead, but in the calendar they are tranf- 
 lated to the fkies, and mine there as planets 
 of the firfl magnitude; my chief Lord, the 
 Lord Lowftrings, aiming at my throne, con- 
 fpired againft me to un-king me, and put me 
 to death, but I defeated him, and flew, with 
 my own arm, ten thoufand rebels upon the 
 fpot; The Country Boors, however, thought 
 I opprefTed them, and, therefore, they alfo 
 rofe up in arms againft me, they overpowered, 
 and then bammed me from my Queen, my 
 child, my empire, and my all ; fo here I am 
 in a ftrange place, Tom, where all I can 'do 
 
 is, to fing out my miferies 
 
 after a long paufe (the Player, or) the Man 
 of Ambition fung the following 
 
 SONG, 
 
 Ranta-Tanta, Roar'em Ranta, 
 Flaihes, flames, and forrows plenty, 
 Waters, winds, and fnow ilorms dalh us, 
 Rocks and hills and mountains cralh us j 
 
 I Now
 
 ( 58 ) 
 
 Now we're tpfs'd on burning Teas, 
 Now knock'd down by falling trees ; 
 Lapland Witches fhrivell'd Wizzards, 
 Burn our hearts and freeze our gizzards. 
 
 But, Tom ! I will be King over Lapland 
 after all, or I'll lofe my whole fortune 
 Keeper ! get me my crown, fceptre, and ring, 
 I (hall hold a Court to day. He faid fo 
 threw up his hat, and marched again moft 
 majeftically The fervant of George, afto- 
 nifhed at what he had feen and heard, re- 
 turned the jacket, took the half guinea again, 
 and faid to himfelf My Mafter mall never 
 come here; I'll return to the mill, and fee 
 what is become of him. 
 
 CHAPTER
 
 Some further account of Farmer George of 
 his wonderful recovery^-And of other mat- 
 ters. 
 
 BE pleafed to recollect, retentive reader, 
 that at the end of Chapter the 6th, we 
 left the good Farmer George in the ward of 
 Trial, with the Reftor, the Doctor and the 
 people of the mill we now return to him, 
 and are charged by the attendants there to in- 
 form you, that for the firft few weeks he 
 bore his trials varioufly; at fome feafons he 
 was penfive and patient, at others obftre- 
 perous, or outrageous ; fundry practitioners 
 voluntarily offered their fervices others 
 were called in and fent there by the head la- 
 bourers at the farm the family were all 
 anxiety for the event divers confultations 
 were held fundry different experiments tried 
 fome infmuated, that it was improper to 
 call him Farmer George, or to approach or 
 treat him as a fuferior-, others infifted, that 
 
 I' he
 
 he ought to be treated, and rhuft and mould 
 be treated with tendernefs and profound re- 
 fpsct, and that at all events his fervants ought 
 to be kept at a diftance, (one or two favou- 
 rites now and then excepted) and that they 
 ought not to be fufFered to teaze him about 
 their feveral oppofite modes of carrying on 
 the bufintefs ; at length the latter, for a time, 
 prevailed He was humoured often, and he 
 began (at the time a report prevailed he was 
 dead, or all but dead) again to become calm, 
 and to lift up his revered head the Rector 
 moved to place him in the oratorial ward, 
 the Doctor acquiefced, and intended from 
 thence to conduct him to the watch and 
 other wards the young men and people at 
 the mill argued ftrongly to have him pafs 
 through all the works He was led forth to 
 the river, and drank; to the rivulet, and 
 tafted of the flreams ; he became almoft in- 
 ftantaneoudy invigorated He propoied to fit 
 down on the feat or pedeftal, to pafs thro* 
 the mill, and then, fays he, f are wet/ Jar m, I'll 
 yield the bufinefs to my eldefl fon My 
 land, fertile in itfelf, by unikilful manage- 
 ment in fome of my former fervants, have 
 brought forth two many briars and thorns- 
 may
 
 may my fon's hufbandry bring forth better 
 things. We have a good cottage on the bor- 
 ders, that will do for my dear dame, my 
 youngeft children, and myfelf I will re- 
 tire, and live upon a fmall portion of the 
 profits of my farm in peace Datne George, 
 hearing her hunband's wifh, came into the 
 fcheme the youngeft children confented 
 the plan was ripening for execution, when 
 lo! the chief labourers, who had gained in- 
 telligence of the plan, came in a body to the 
 mill thev rejoiced (they faid) that their 
 matter was better they were fure it would 
 be improper and impolitic in him to decline 
 bufmefs; they averred, that he was now well 
 able to hold the reins again and even if his 
 nerves (at times) mould be found feeble; 
 their ftrong hands mould help him In fliort 
 they infifted upon his immediate removal 
 from the mill the Rector advifed the 
 Doctor remonftrated the people on the fpot 
 implored, that the farmer might not be taken 
 away till he had received the full benefit of the 
 mill-operations; but it was all to no purpofe; 
 the fervants had (a priori) brought with 
 them the farm carriage to the fpot, they had 
 previoufly prevailed upon their dame and 
 
 young
 
 ( 62 ) 
 
 young matter to accompany them, and join 
 in folicitations for his removal to the farm; 
 the farmer overcome by intreaties, having 
 the good of all at heart, yielded to be taken 
 from reft and retirement again, to walk in 
 thofe weighty ways of bufmefs, which be- 
 fore had been too heavy for his feeble frame 
 However, juft before his departure, at the 
 very inftant he was about to mount his 
 farm curry, Farmer Hodge, on foot, came 
 up to the mill, and finding his fervants in 
 the act of removing the great farmer, ex- 
 claimed Hark ye ! what is my friend 
 George agoing? Let me alk a queftion (ob- 
 ferve ye) has he been ground down here ? Is 
 he young and ftrong again ? why, Mafter 
 (Hodge) anfwered Wilkinfon, Thunderer, 
 and the reft of them, he's got fo ftrong, that 
 he can do his bufinefs well enough, with 
 our help; and he is not fo c/^/yet as to re- 
 quire grinding Well ! well ! replied Hodge, 
 but truly I have heard and feen fo much of 
 this here mill, that I intend to be ground 
 myfelf, and I wim your mafter to be ground 
 rightly before he goes, but if that can't be, 
 then I pray ye, that half a fcore of you his 
 trufty fervants, who, by the look of ye (d'ye 
 
 mind
 
 ( 63 ) 
 
 mind) appear old enough for grinding, 
 would abide here a bit, by way of good com- 
 pany, and ftep (obferve ye) into the hopper 
 with me myfelf, fo that we may (mind ye) 
 all be ground together, we can hardly grind 
 for the worfe boys But all the fervants (a 
 very few excepted) anfwered, our full em^ 
 ployment at the farm takes up our heads 
 and hearts too much to beftow a thought 
 about his grinding mill, and, moreover, 
 Mailer Hodge, we are not yet old enough for 
 grinding An't you ? fays Hodge, you may 
 have a mill upon your yonder great farm ; 
 and belike fome fay, you have, and that moft 
 of you arc too old for us all, becaufe you 
 take too much toll of your cuftomers; but 
 then (d'ye mind) however that may be, take 
 my advice, and henceforth don't grind your 
 poor neighbours fo hard, left by overgrind- 
 ing you fet your mill faft and hurt your 
 trade fo much, that they in their turn may- 
 make themfelves millers, and grind you. 
 One of the moft talkative of George's tribe 
 flepped forward to Hodge, and faid, old 
 hobbler, look at my countenance ^poor old 
 fellow, your eyes are dim, or you might fee 
 in a moment that I am perfectly young yet 
 
 Boy,
 
 ( 64 ) 
 
 J3oy, (returned Hodge) dim as my eyes are, 
 I can fee that foft pulpy place in your fcul- 
 cap, and dare venture to vouch for you, 
 (Mr. In -pertinence) that you are like to be 
 young as long as you live, child. 
 
 Here the converfation ended Farmer 
 George, the family and fervants, drove away, 
 and, tho' flrange to fome, yet certain it is, 
 he received fo much benefit at the mill, that 
 from the day of his return to this day he has 
 been enabled to conduct and carry on his bu- 
 iinefs, as well, perhaps better than before. 
 
 N. B. Pity he was not fuffered to go thro* 
 (as he wifhed to do) all the operations of this 
 wonderful mill. 
 
 The grateful Farmer George rewarded the 
 Doctor and people at the mill mqft boun- 
 tifully. 
 
 CHAPTER
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 Lord and Lady Fajhion A Philofopher and a 
 brace of Lawyers come to the mill Curious 
 conversation pieces^ &c. 
 
 WELL-founded reports of the recovery 
 of the great Farmer, Lothario, and 
 fundry others, fo filled the minds of the men 
 on the other fide the mill, that prodigious 
 numbers came up to the meadow gate to re- 
 connoitre its fcite and fituation, and fo many 
 opened and mut, and fhut and opened it, that 
 by order of the Great Operator^ fignified to 
 the Rector, Doctor, and the reft at the mill, 
 a porter was ftationed there with orders to 
 examine all thofe who afked admiffion, pre- 
 vioufly to their entering the meadow One 
 of the aforefaid young men was appointed to 
 the important office, whofe name was Peter; 
 he took his ftation with a willing mind, and 
 had the charge of the keys, for the gate had 
 a double lock Soon after he was fixed there, 
 numbers of thinking people came, all of 
 
 K whom
 
 ( 66 ) 
 
 whom were readily admitted, mofl of them 
 were ground down, and returned with joy; 
 others came only to gaze and to hear 
 Arnongft whom were the following cha- 
 racters : 
 
 A Lord and a Lady of Fajhion. 
 
 A Lord and Lady of fafhion came lolling 
 in their chariot and fix to the gate a laced 
 footman, finer than even his matter, came 
 galloping up before them, and ordered the 
 laid Peter to open the gate directly, for, fays 
 he, the carriage will be here in a moment 
 Pray, fays Peter, whofe carriage is it ? 
 You blunt fellow you, fays he, open the 
 gate, 'tis the illuftrious Lord 'and Lady Fa- 
 ihion's chariot I'll wait till it comes up, 
 fays Peter fo he did it was foon there 
 and his Lordfhip, more civil than his fervant, 
 requefted the porter to open the gate, that he 
 and his Lady might take a turn in the mea- 
 dow, and view the mill; for, fays his Lord- 
 fhip, we have heard much of the mill, and 
 if the thing be fafhionable it mall have our 
 patronage. 
 
 Great Sir, fays Peter, the fafhion of the 
 mill is truly good, but 'tis very old, and we 
 feldom find people of fafhion pafs through 
 
 it
 
 ( 67 ) 
 
 k However, he opened the gate, and the 
 carriage entered the meadow {jis Lordfhip 
 and the Lady were drove up to the mill but 
 the Peer, having an engagement at the Tay- 
 lor's to fit a laced levee fuit, and her Lady- 
 fhip at the milliner's, to pop on a French- 
 famioned cap, they declared upon their ho- 
 nours it was impoffible at that time either to 
 alight or flop, and therefore, the vehicle 
 being turned round, they were drove out of 
 the meadow; but, however, before they 
 reached the gate, contemplation fo far over- 
 took them, that his Lordfhip faid, he thought 
 the mill a good contrivance for fome fort of 
 people, and my Lady added, it may be fo 
 for the meaner clafles, but the fituation 
 (fays (he) is fo low my Lord, and the mea~ 
 dow fo moift, that I have caught my death 
 here already, or, if I live, I mall not be 
 able to fee company this fortnight Let the 
 fellow drive home my Lord I make already, 
 and am afraid, by the effects of this meadow 
 (of contemplation) I mall foon be ill; pray, 
 my Lord, let us get out of this bog, and if I 
 fliould live to get home, I am refolved never 
 to come again a grinding Why it is a ftrange 
 place,. an fwered my Lord, I feel I know not 
 
 K. 2 how
 
 ( 68 ) 
 
 how myfelf Drive on ! John So they re- 
 turned and the men of the mill faw them 
 no more. 
 
 The next who entered was a hair -brained 
 Philofopher he came with a moft profound 
 and fagacious air What is your name, Sir ? 
 (fays he to the Porter) Peter! Oh, Peter, 
 I have read in an old volume of a name-fake 
 of yours, who wore a girdle about his loins, 
 on which was fufpended a brace of keys; 
 but I believe no fuch fables j pray how old 
 are you? Old enough to be better than I am, 
 fays Peter, but not old enough to think my- 
 ielf fo worthy as the Peter you talk of Ig- 
 norant fellow, fays the Philofopher, I have 
 made nature my fludy for at lead thefe fifty 
 years, philolbphy, chemiftry, and a hundred 
 other curious arts are as eafy to me as telling 
 my fingers -r-you have got here a new noflrum, 
 of a mill, to delude the vulgar and impofe 
 upon the credulous, by making them be-r 
 lieve, if they are ever fo old, they may be 
 ground young again I am come not to try, 
 but tojee and examine the parts, and confute 
 
 the
 
 ( 69 ) 
 
 the whole procefs of your mill; and before 
 J enter the meadow, if you'll tell me your 
 age I'll difclofe to you fomething more rare 
 and fingular than all the fecrets of your fa- 
 mous machine. Sir, fays Peter, (with all 
 your learning, I queftion if you know your- 
 fel/, however) I mall be 57 years of age next 
 July Well then (fays the man of philofo- 
 phical experiments) you have pafTed through 
 at lead five revolutions all your exterior 
 parts are renewed without grinding, about 
 once in ten years, or lefs, by nature your 
 head, hair, heart, loins, legs, feet, your every 
 thing, are not the fame they ufed to be the 
 old ones are evaporated, and new ones fprung 
 up in their places your head, you fee, is 
 half as big again as it was forty-feven years 
 ago you have loft your locks they iiril 
 were flaxen, next brown, and thofe now on 
 your fcalp are half of them whiteim; anon 
 your head (when thefe fly off) will be covered 
 with hollow tubes, as white as fnow ; your 
 heart is vaftly altered from what it was 
 worn down thefe laft thirty years, by ac^ 
 tions fyftoleanddiaftole, taking in and pump* 
 ing out the blood affifting the ftomach in 
 boiling down the food and dewing what you 
 
 eat
 
 ( 7 ) 
 
 cat till it becomes chyle, &c. forcing the 
 red fluid of life, in which the foul (fo called) 
 lodges, through all the veins, &c. I fay, by 
 this continual labour it has fent away itfelf, 
 and another, and another, in rotation, has 
 facceffively taken up its place, fo that your 
 prefent heart is not yet ten years old Your 
 loins have been replaced with new ones five 
 times over, and as to your hands and feet, 
 why, they are no more the fame hands and 
 feet they ufed to be than your nails are the 
 fame nails and you know yourfelf (don't 
 ye) if you chip your (corns and) nails once a 
 fortnight, they will be chipped away in the 
 courfe of ' one year, one month, three weeks, 
 fix days, twenty-three hours, fifty-nine mi- 
 nutes, and forty-nine feconds, according to 
 the accurate account or calculation of Monf. 
 de Ranta Tanta, nail-cutter to the Grand 
 Monarch ; therefore, thofe under your gloves 
 and ftockings muft be new ones, not a for- 
 tieth part fo old as yourfelf And fo I argue, 
 that you are not the fame Peter you formerly 
 was, five Peters at leaft have had your appear- 
 ance and in ten years more you will be fuch. 
 another kind of Peter, that he who fees you 
 now will not know you (if he fees you then, 
 
 nor
 
 iior will you be known exactly till you get 
 round again. 
 
 . , And pray, Sir, fays Peter, have I any im- 
 mortal part about me ? 
 
 Immortal ! alas poor filly man (anfwered 
 the Philofopher) if by immortal you mean 
 thejout, I told you before it was lodged in 
 the blood, and if the blood runs all out of 
 the body, as Ariftotle wifely obferved, the 
 foul will be left behind to pickjlraws ; why, 
 in one fenfe of the word, all things (as he 
 affirms) even the world itfelf is immortal, that 
 is, it will endure for ever For by a lucky 
 aflemblage of combining atoms, drove by a 
 chance wind in hotch potch together, this 
 world was made, and fo long as faid winds 
 blow (and they will blow for ever) the world 
 will be fuftained. As to the romantic (tones 
 you have heard of its being drowned by wa- 
 ter heretofore, and of its being to be burnt 
 by fire hereafter, they are arrant forgeries, 
 delufions and cunning prieft's cheats; for the 
 truth is, all things are material (as Doctor 
 Prieftley avows) Why, Peter, the world 
 itfelf is made up of materials, fome of them 
 much like ore, or clay. .The bodies of men, 
 beafls, infects, and even vegetables are alfo 
 
 made
 
 ( 7* ) 
 
 made up of materials ; and even your foul it- 
 lelf is as furely made up of matter, as the 
 fol.es of your (hoes are compofed of a bark- 
 impregnated ox-hide You are and muft 
 be immortal as well as I, and all others are; 
 for we can prove by chemical demonflrable 
 operations, and by (pounding) decompound- 
 ing, or analyfing bodies, that they are all 
 made up, or constituted, of certain com- 
 bined matters, that is to fay, of earth, water, 
 fire, oils, and certain falts, all which came 
 from fomewhere, and when, by unforefeen 
 accidents or changes, they {hall be fepa- 
 rated again, they go fomewhere Nothing 
 will be annihilated, for depend upon it, part 
 of your body will return to earth, part to 
 air, part to fire, part (perhaps the larger! 
 part) to water, part to oil, and part to falts 
 or fulphur. As to your foul, as you call it, 
 it is nothing at all but fiery, or phlogifti- 
 cated air, which came from the original fire, 
 and will return, when quenched (that is 
 when you die, Peter) to the faid original 
 fountain of fire, and there remain, 'till by a 
 lucky blow of fate's, or nature's bellows, your 
 conftituted parts will be re-united, and a 
 thoufand years hence you may ftand again at 
 
 this
 
 ( 73 ) 
 
 this gate, if it abides fo long, exactly the 
 fame man you are now, Peter. 
 
 Well, fays Peter, many are .the errors of 
 this age, but from your philofophical fren- 
 zies, 
 
 Good Lord Deliver us. 
 
 Go to the mill, you will find plain honeft 
 youths there, who will prove, to your mame, 
 your notions are chimerical, and yourfelf 
 the dupe of them. 
 
 A Lawyer, commonly called Mr. Samp- 
 fon Smart, alias Quirks, the attorney, next 
 came to -the gate and demanded of Peter an 
 opening; the porter, by his green bag and 
 parchment fcrolls, guelTed his profeffion, 
 and gently requested for what end he wifhed 
 to enter You, Sir, fays he, none of your 
 interrogatories, I am a Gentleman of his 
 
 Majefty's Court of and am 
 
 continually fuppofed to be in Court, only 
 in matters of infinite neceflity I get leave of 
 abfence for eleven months in the year, or 
 more, to fcrape up, create, or get employ- 
 ment, and being often overwhelmed with 
 bufinefs fo much, that if I could be cut and 
 fplit as often as a polype, every part would 
 have double employment; I now hafte 
 
 L here
 
 ( 74 ) 
 
 here, almoft out of breath, for I have twenty 
 more engagements to day I fay, I hafted 
 here to give notice, that the people of yonder 
 place have infracted me to difpoftefs the 
 crew who harbour on this notorious fpot, 
 and therefore I command you to ope the 
 gate, that I may walk in the meadow, view 
 the mill, and take my meafures to bring an 
 eje&ment, in which, like all other fictions 
 in law, I fhall declare all I pleafe, and prove 
 all I can againft your Rector, (Quack) Doc- 
 tor, and all your fraternity; and in the end 
 turn you out of pofleffion, fo that I may pro- 
 cure peace to the country, and veft the pre- 
 mifes in the original right owners and their 
 heirs And mind this, you Mr. Porter, as 
 this mill was erected in that meadow by you 
 and others the confpirators, before you iflued 
 or iued out the ancient writ of ad quod dam- 
 num> I am as fure to carry the caufe at the 
 bar, as my clients are to keep their coats on 
 their backs. 
 
 The moment Peter hefitated about open- 
 ing the gate to l^r. Quirks, came from the 
 mill up to faid gate, another lawyer, who 
 had been ground there many years before, 
 and who very frequently reforted to the mill., 
 
 and
 
 ( 75 ) 
 
 and converfed with the people; his name 
 (given him by his employers) was, Bartho- 
 lomew Black-fwan, he lived on accommo- 
 dation fquares, and was up to the chicanery 
 of Quirks Peter who knew him, with a 
 low bow repeated the aforefaid converfation, 
 and afked whether he {hould ope the gate to 
 Quirks, or deny him entrance My friend, 
 Peter, fays Black-fwan, ope the gate, let him 
 enter, it may do him good but before he 
 comes into the meadow, I'll fpeak to him- 
 He did fo, and the following converfation en- 
 fued between the two lawyers. 
 
 Quirk Oh ! the gate is opened, I fee, to 
 let you out, but, Mr. What d'ye call' your 
 name, Why not let me in, Sir? 
 
 Black-fwan You have fo often let in 
 others, Mr. Quirks, that I wonder you 
 fhould afk to be let in yourfelf. Quirks, 
 Pray, Sir, who are you ? Why, Sir, I'll 
 come to you on that fide the gate, perhaps 
 you will then remember that you have feen 
 me before ; Black-fwan did fo Oh, Sir, 
 cried Quirks, I am glad to fee you, two of 
 a trade don't always agree, but you and I 
 will never differ again, and, therefore, I'll 
 
 L 2 be
 
 ( 76 ) 
 
 t>e fo open as to tell you I have orders from 
 my clients to bring ejectments againft the 
 people at the mill, and I was juft now tel- 
 ling the Porter fo I am infinitely happy to 
 meet you Mr. Black-fwan on the very fpot 
 and if you will affift me with your ad- 
 vice, here will be pretty pickings for us 
 both, and if we get the caufe (inter nos) 
 we will go fnacks you mall have one half 
 of the profits, I the other ; and, moreover, 
 Sir, I mail hold myfelf obliged to you as 
 long as I mall be able to fupport and prac- 
 tice the glorious uncertainty of the law Mr. 
 Quirks, replied Black-fwan, I have been a 
 lawyer, profeflionally, more than thirty years 
 I have fometimes undertook, as moft law- 
 yers do, matters I did not fully under/land, 
 nor is it perhaps poffible for the moft pene- 
 netrating mind, affifted by 'the moft retentive 
 memory, to receive, digeft, and infallibly de- 
 termine upon all the innumerable, nice, and 
 difficult points of law Judges, themfelves, 
 frequently differ in opinion and an omni- 
 fcient lawyer, who underftands the whole 
 (though one lately dead was flatteringly fo 
 flyled) is not to be met with under Heaven 
 
 -But
 
 ( 77 ) 
 
 But we all know how to be hsnfft, and to 
 make doing by others as we wifh to be done 
 by, our pole jiar A lawyer, .of thiscaft, will 
 always be fupported > I have found it fb in a 
 greater degree than I ever merited - y my lei- 
 fure hours, which were not too many, ad- 
 mitted me to ftudy the memoirs of the mill 
 I have gone through all the operations 
 I am now happy, and more convinced than 
 ever, a quirking lawyer is an harpy, who 
 fucks the very vitals of plaintiff, defendant, 
 or both, the peft of fociety, or, in other 
 words, a legal pick-pocket I know you 
 well you are of that fable complexion, and 
 therefore,. I advife you, Sir, to drop this 
 unjuft and vexatious law fuit, or if you dare 
 to proceed, I mail efpoufe the honeft caufe 
 of all the peaceable people at the mill 
 my duty, Sir, will compel me to defend 
 them. 
 
 Quirks My deaf Mr. Black-fwan, you 
 feem to be in earned, but you totally mifun- 
 derftood me I did not mean to proceed un- 
 lefs you would have aflifled me (and why will 
 you not?) I fay again, we might fo ma- 
 nage matters, as to put fome money into 
 
 both
 
 ( 78 ) 
 
 both our pockets, wfoever gets th caitfe, 
 but I fee you are on the other fide of the 
 quefticn fo I'll go to my clients give 
 them my bill, and (if I can) get the money 
 I will never oppofe you Mr. Biack-fwan, 
 I admire your character, and would follow 
 it, but my mafter, with whom I was clerk, 
 has a thoufand times told me, an boneft law- 
 yer can^oi live Be that as it may, I drop 
 the caufe againfl the folks at the mill, and 
 I am Mr. Black-fwan, Sir, your mod obe- 
 dient, humble fervant. 
 
 The Lawyers parted, 
 
 And we now part with this the pth to 
 begin the loth Chapter. 
 
 CHAPTER
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 An account of a remarkable quaker who came 
 to the mill an interefting contejl between 
 him and Hodge other ferfins approach- 
 ing, &c. 
 
 AFTER the departure of the lawyers, a 
 decent drefled perfon approached the 
 gate there was a certain fomething fo iingu- 
 lar in his appearance that it feems worth 
 while to defcribe his perfon his drefs his 
 converfation and his behaviour. ' 
 
 As to his perfon, it was rather tall his 
 locks were grey, his forehead high and open, 
 his eyes brilliant, nofe aquiline, complexion 
 fair, lips vivid, chin fmooth, head fmall, 
 and his face long; but his countenance was 
 remarkably ferious commanding and re- 
 fpectful ; from the flioulders downward he 
 was well proportioned, fymmetry feeming to 
 fet fmiling on his perfon, his ileps were 
 grave, and all his movements graceful His 
 
 drefs
 
 ( 8 ) 
 
 drefs vied with that of a Prince in cleanli- 
 nefs and neatnefs, though not in embroidery 
 or price a large jetty broad- brimmed beaver 
 covered his fteady head, his neckcloth and 
 linen where white as fnow- his coat, waift- 
 coat, and breeches were light drab, with a 
 tinge, or hue of the olive ; his (lockings 
 paired his garb j his fhoes were plain black, 
 and neatly tied with thong-leather; his 
 gloves white, and his ivory-headed cane fup- 
 ported his right hand, in which he held his 
 glove, whiifl the left hand was concealed 
 by its fellow, both gloves were formed of 
 thin kid-fkin in fhort, he was what the 
 folks without call a Quaker ; when he came 
 up to the gate, his converfation with Peter 
 was as under: 
 
 Quaker Peace be to thee friend ope thy 
 portal if thou plealeft:, that I may enter and 
 fee the fons of peace at the mill. 
 
 Peter I muft examine thofe who wifh to 
 enter, therefore, though your appearance is 
 truly venerable, yet I pray you to tell me 
 who you are ? 
 
 Quaker I am a friend. 
 
 Peter A friend, to whom ? 
 
 Quaker
 
 ( *I ) 
 
 Quaker TQ all the people upon earth, 
 but efpecially to thofe who have gone through 
 the inward works, and who faithfully abide 
 at the mill. 
 
 Peter Have you been at this mill before? 
 
 Quaker I have, friend, and hope ever to 
 be thankful the mill ground me years ago; 
 it is truth, I fell on a flone there and was 
 broken, had that ftone fallen upon me it 
 would have ground me to powder But I 
 was made whole I have ever lince been led 
 in the right way, and I remain (through 
 favour) whole to this day - t ope the portal, 
 I pray thee, friend, that I may enter and 
 fee the Reftor, the Doctor and all the friends 
 at the mill I wifh to commune with them 
 again before I depart from this tabernacle, 
 and to leave at the place a token of grati- 
 tude to the Chief Operator there, that the 
 dwellers on the fpot hereafter may know, 
 the works of the mill are not the works of 
 vanity or folly. 
 
 Peter foon opened the gate the Quaker 
 walked up, and found a warm reception 
 the Recftor, Doctor, young men, and all the 
 people there (Hodge excepted) foon knew 
 him, and they welcomed him. But it fa 
 
 M happened
 
 ( 82 ) 
 
 happened that Hodge flumping in foon af 
 ter, the current of converfation was quickly 
 turned, for Matter Hodge rather abruptly be* 
 gan upon the Doctor thus 
 
 Hodge Look ye here, Matter Doctor, I 
 came to fee you and the Rector to-day, and 
 (obferve ye) I have had fome inkling of be- 
 ing ground myfelf, but (d'ye fee) I always 
 choofe my company I can pafs through 
 with thofe fort of people I like well and 
 good, but if not, I fhall e'en give up the mat- 
 ter (obferve ye) for it runs in my noddle^ that 
 (as I told my wife Hannah) under the rofe, 
 you are all Quakers I wifh for the Gentle-, 
 man's excufe, but pray matter ftranger let 
 me afk you if you are not of a leathern fa- 
 mily I mean (d'ye mind) are you not a-kin 
 to George Fox, who was a rank (and belike 
 the firft) Quaker ? 
 
 Quaker Friend I know thee not and 
 thy blunt language might give fome offence 
 did I not know how to put up with it 
 but I was taught at the mill that patience 
 which hath been of much ufe to me, and 
 may 'ft be of fome to thee, for I fhall an- 
 fwer with that meeknefs thou canft not 
 claim nor well expects and if thou wilt hear, 
 
 I feel
 
 J feel an opening to tell thee the things 
 which belong to thy prefent and future 
 peace. 
 
 Hodge -Hark'e, Matter Stranger, we ufed 
 to be quiet enough, and every one jog on his 
 ewn way, 'till this here mill came in vogue, 
 but fince that (d'ye mind) our peace has been 
 broken in upon by hurly burlies, mobs ancj 
 outcries ; you talk about peace, but, obferve, 
 I am conftable of the parim, and have had 
 much to do of late to reftore the Ring's 
 peace But don't Hide from the point, an-i 
 fwer the queftion, are you not a relation of 
 old Fox the Quaker ? 
 
 Quaker Not after the fleth, or family, as 
 'tis called, but I have been led by the fame 
 light, and have received the fame fpirif, an4 
 the fame confolation, Friend George Fox 
 did. 
 
 Hodge Confolation, ay, ay, I have heard 
 (obferve ye) a great deal of prattle about 
 confolation, and I have been hunting after it 
 thefe thirty years D'ye mind> Granger, J 
 have wrought hard in my time, paid every 
 man to a penny, brought up my family (a. 
 pretty large one) have never BiHced my la- 
 kpurers who cut my corn and did my farm, 
 M 2
 
 ( 84 ) 
 
 work I have helped the poor as well as I 
 could, and have paid the Parfon's tithe too 
 but, after all, I never could catch that 
 fame confolation. And fince this here mill 
 has been fet a grinding, we have had fo 
 much pother, and my mind (d'ye fee) have 
 been fo puzzled and peftered, that I am far- 
 ther off than ever j in mort, my wife, boys 
 and girls, who fay they have been ground 
 here, have a great deal unhinged and unfet- 
 tled me to be fure I have food, drink, and 
 rayment ; I can pay my rent too, but I want 
 fomething, I know not what (obferve ye) 
 to give me confolation Methinks, if this 
 fame mill was removed, and my ears no longer 
 filled with grinding oprations by my faid 
 wife, the Rector, Doctor, and fifty more 
 of thofe fort of folks, I mould come to my 
 old centre again, and be fatisfied. 
 
 Quaker Frknd, I believe thou haft fought 
 confolation from thine honefty, ufefulnefs, and 
 the things of this 'world Honefty and ufeful- 
 nefs are good, fo far as they go, but they do 
 not go far enough, nor can they together 
 yield thee inward confolation ; turn the eye 
 of thy mind, friend, to the light within thee, 
 then fhalt thou fee clear, and be led in the 
 
 way
 
 way of truth. Moreover, thy heart {hall be 
 tendered by refrefhings from on high thou 
 fhall foon come out of Egyptian darknefs, 
 and walk in the true light of life I will 
 converfe with thee, if thou pleafeft, more/ 
 at large on thefe good things, but obferving 
 thou makeft it a part of thy boaft that thou 
 payeft tithes to thy Parfon, I muft bear my 
 teftimony againft that hireling practice, and 
 declare unto thee, friend, thou fufTereft by 
 paying; yea, that it is unlawful to pay the 
 tenth of thy increafe, commonly called 
 tithes. 
 
 Hodge Hey day 1 what ! I thought you 
 had been a friend to our Redlor at the mill 
 (d'ye mind). 
 
 Quaker So in verity and uprightnefs I 
 am, I efteem the Re&or and all at the mill fo 
 far as they efteem the truth, and when any 
 errs, he is the beft friend who bears his tef- 
 timony againft errors-^Thy Redtor, in fome 
 points, may err. His certain ceremonies at ' 
 yonder fteeple-houfe, and his taking tithes> 
 feem to me to be errors, and, therefore, I 
 bear my teftimony (I tell thee) againft iuch 
 pra&ices. 
 
 Jlodge
 
 ( 86 ) 
 
 Hodge Look ye here, as to the fteeple* 
 houfe, as you call it (obferve ye) my father, 
 grandfather, and all my family ('till fome 
 of them of late went a grinding) were 
 {launch churchmen, fo am I myfelf a 
 churchman to the bone, though, to tell you 
 the truth J feldom go there j but, how- 
 ever, on Sundays J read my book at home, 
 fmoke my pipe, drink a pot of ftingo with 
 Tom Trylands, the farmer, and confult 
 what is beft to be done the other fix days of 
 the week I don't frequent tap-houfes (ob^ 
 ferve ye) I don't fwear, nor, in the lewd 
 way, did I ever go aftray All my children 
 have been cbriftened, and fome of the firft 
 folks of the town (mind ye) ^N^Q godfathers, 
 and godmothers to my boys and girls; 
 few better chriftians could been found in the 
 country than they were, 'till it came into 
 their nappers to go to the mill a grinding 
 fince when they chatter about happinefs and 
 J know not what, at fo flrange a rate, that I 
 cannot augur what has betided them. 
 
 Quaker Friend, thou fayeft thou art a 
 ftaunch churchman ; I teftify unto thee, the 
 true church is not compofcd of bricks, 
 
 mortar,
 
 mortar, wood and lead, but of very differ- 
 ent materials* 
 
 Hodge Trite, {obferve ye) you are right* 
 our church is built with great ftones daubed 
 over with clay, and covered with ftraw; 
 as to the feels, the'fpars, and fo me of the 
 feats, they are wooden enough (d'ye mind) 
 and rotten enough too; for if you could eat 
 after moths, maggots, arid worms, you 
 might crumble fome of the wood-work 
 into your dim of pottage. 
 
 Quaker And, therefore, thou canfl be- 
 lieve, that the church or fteeple-houfe, can 
 enter the kingdom of Heaven ? 
 
 Hodge No, it will foon (d'ye mind) tum- 
 ble down to the earth, unlefs our towns- 
 folks could be forced to repair it, but, how- 
 ever (obferVe ye) 'tis up-hill work to get mo- 
 ney out of pockets where none is got in $ 
 and our people fay (efpecially my brother 
 fmall farmers) they have enough to do to pay 
 high rents, heavy taxes, and large rates, to 
 maintain the poor; without building new, 
 or repairing old churches ; and, for my own 
 part, I mould not be troubled much, if the 
 church was blown down, fo that the fleeple 
 was left fUnding, and our fine peal of eight 
 
 bells
 
 ( 88 ) 
 
 bells left behind ; I fhould not like to lofe 
 the bells, for I have often tugged a rope at 
 a peal of bob-majors^ and am vaftly proud of 
 ringing. 
 
 Quaker Thy mind is carnal thou canfl 
 not, or wilt not, underftand me I will 
 therefore tell thee plainly, thou haft more 
 humour than ferioufnefs, and thou pretend- 
 eft thou doft not, becaufe thou wilt not un- 
 derftand me. 
 
 Hodge Hark ye, Mafter Quaker, don't 
 turn out queer, I did underftand you in part, 
 and I owned our parifh church (obferve ye) 
 fooner than climb up to Heaven, would 
 fall down to earth. 
 
 Quaker But I teftify unto thee, the ftee- 
 ple-houfe, built with bricks, mortar, wood, 
 ilraw, and fo forth, is not a church. 
 
 Hodge What a'nt it a church ? But I fay 
 (obferve ye) it is a church, our true parifh 
 church; and fb long as it ftands it will and 
 {hall be a church you will not fwear I 
 dare think, that it is a Quaker's meeting- 
 houfe ? 
 
 Quaker Friend, I obey the command 
 " Swear not at all" But I wifh thee to be 
 ferious come to inward ftillnefs, and thou 
 
 may'ft
 
 may'ft be convinced, that the true church, 
 is constituted of living Jouls, fpi ritualized 
 through divine favour, and made meet (or 
 making meet) to become living ftones of that 
 fpiritual building (far grander than Solomon's 
 Temple^ of that building, that is called, 
 " God's Houfe" fuch ftones are the true peo- 
 ple at this mill. 
 
 Hodge Obferve ye, I am not a/r^ mafon, 
 poor Hodge, knows no great matters about 
 building, he knows fomething, however, 
 about repairing, and he hopes that his Land- 
 lord will foon thatch his old barn, fo that his 
 corn may be kept dry; and as you were 
 talking about not paying tithes, and faying it 
 was unlawful to pay them, if you can put 
 me in a way to with-hold them (d'ye mind) 
 honejlly> I'll run up a lean-to againft my 
 barn's gable, at my own cofts, to lay my 
 next year's crop of tithes in. 
 
 Quaker Our friends in general look upon 
 the payment of tithe as a matter ofjhffering, 
 and therefore with-hold them from the hire- 
 ling priefts, though fometimes they are fe- 
 verely profecuted and forced to yield to, or 
 lofe by Prottors and Lawyers (the Minifters 
 of the Spiritual Court fo called) more than 
 
 N the
 
 ( 9 ) 
 
 the Priefts themfelves, in the firft inftance, 
 would have demanded of them. 
 
 Hodge Hark ye, Matter Quaker, Hodge 
 loves to be open, and will be open to you 
 When we had a Reftor, an old, learned, lazy, 
 mufty bachelor, cloiftered up in a College, 
 who took no more care of our fouls than 
 Pope "Joan does, but who took care, however, 
 to peep at us once a year for the tithes, 
 \vorth about 2OoL and charitably allowed 
 his poor bare-boned Curate, out of his gain, 
 25!. per annum, and furplice fees, for the 
 cure of all our fouls I was wont to laugh 
 at the Do6tor and to pity his Curate True 
 it is (d'ye mind) my tithe at that time, let 
 out and taken by a grey-coated Parfon, to the 
 laft furrow, or fheaf, went from me unwil- 
 lingly; but the Curate's fees I always paid 
 cheerfully for marrying and burying all the 
 poor when I was overfeerj and for the moil 
 part I myfelf took the gownfman home to 
 partake of a family dinner My fon Robin is 
 about to be married, and though, when his 
 wife has children, it will coft threepence 
 -per child to chriften them, that is to make 
 them, as we fay, children of God, and heirs 
 of the kingdom of Heaven, yet, as matters are 
 
 like
 
 like to go with us poor farmers, I hope my fon 
 will drive to pay the tax, without being fued 
 for it; becaufe it mujl be a poor Heaven indeed 
 that is not worth threepence But now we have 
 got a Redlor, an honeji man, who lives amongft 
 us (except when he goes to the mill a grind- 
 ing, and then he is not far oft) a man, who 
 never exadts thefu/t tenth of our crop or cat- 
 tle, but takes from &j air farmer, almoft what 
 he likes to give, fpends what he takes 
 amongft his neighbours, for the modeft and 
 frugal fupport of his family, and gives the over- 
 plus to the relief of the worthy poor I pay my 
 tithe (d'ye mind) to him every year with plea- 
 fure When I hired my farm (obferve ye) I 
 knew it was fubjed: to tithes had it been 
 tithe free, I muft have paid much more 
 rent for it than I now do my Landlord (ob- 
 ferve ye) would have taken what my Re&or 
 now takes, and although I like my Landlord 
 much, I refpeft my Re&or more, and, 
 therefore, as I hired my farm (obferve ye) 
 with my eyes open, and faw clear enough it 
 was fubjedl to tenths or tithes, were I to with- 
 hold them from our worthy Redlor, I fhould 
 think myfelf a thief and a robber. 
 
 Quaker
 
 ( 92 ) 
 
 Quaker I efteem thy Reftor perhaps more 
 than thou doft, but tithe-taking is his bread 
 I could wifh he would live and ferve in 
 the tabernacle freely " freely thou haft re- 
 ceived and freely give," faid our Mafter. 
 
 Hodge Pray Mi'fter Quaker, have you not 
 Parfons, or holders-forth amongft you? 
 
 Quaker Yea. 
 
 Hodge What have they for their preach- 
 ments ? 
 
 Quaker Nothing, kindnefTes of the So- 
 ciety excepted, unlefs they travel. When 
 our public friends travel, our private friends 
 receive them, and for the fake of their living 
 teftimony, they are provided with provinder, 
 carriages, &c. and are borne free from place 
 to place till their return mean-time their 
 families at home are employed in honeft 
 trades or callings to fupport themfelves if 
 they be not able to do fo, our friends are al- 
 ways ready to adminifter to the induftrious 
 members, and make their iituation tolerable, 
 perhaps rather comfortable, 'till the head of 
 the family has cleared himfelf of his Tefti- 
 mony, and having done his duty, returns 
 home in peace. 
 
 Hodge
 
 ( 93 ) 
 
 Hodge Hark, ye ! It comes all to a reck- 
 oning with the cafe of our Rector, he em- 
 ploys (obferveye) all his time in doing good, 
 his dame fpends hers in making fhirts, fhifts, 
 caps, handkerchiefs, and other things for the 
 poor. His two girls too knit {lockings and 
 give them away to itockinglefs children 
 The only fault the Rector has, is coming 
 here a grinding there he puzzles me, for he 
 will have it (his own way) and fay, with the 
 Doctor and the reft at the mill, that a man 
 can never be happy unlefs he be ground 
 down, and pafs through all the operations of 
 this new-fangled mill; I know not what to 
 think, there have been times when I thought 
 of being ground myfelf, and I came here to 
 day with the thought in my head, but meet- 
 ing with you here, a Quaker., put me rather 
 out of temper, and, d'ye mind, I think I 
 muft e'en give up the matter of grinding. 
 
 Quaker I will plainly tell thee, friend, 
 thou never canft be happy till ground young, 
 but, look yonder, there are fome people ap- 
 proaching the mill, one of them, by his 
 black garb I fufpect to be an hireling; if 
 thou wilt walk with me into this meadow 
 
 (of
 
 ( 94 ) 
 
 (of contemplation) thou wilt foon become 
 thoughtful, and I feel a defire to have fur- 
 ther communications with thee on ferious 
 fubje&s. 
 
 Hodge Well, (obferve ye) you feem civil, 
 I will e'en walk with you. 
 
 Hodge and the friend walked into the 
 meadow for farther converfation, where we'll 
 leave them for a while, and clofe the loth 
 Chapter, in order that in 
 
 CHAPTER XL 
 
 We may fee who the feveral perfons are 
 that the friend perceived were approaching 
 the mill. 
 
 CHAPTER
 
 ( 95 ) 
 
 CHAPTER XL 
 
 *fbeir characters explainedy and they prove to be 
 a Popijh Prieft A Prejbyterian A Bap- 
 tjft A Methodift Preacher And a New 
 yerufakmite, with parcels of their refpetfive 
 focks Ihe profejfbrs weighed Some found 
 <wa?2ting t 
 
 THOSE who marched at the front were 
 a Papift, a Prefbyterian, a Baptift, a 
 Methodift Preacher, and a difciple of Em- 
 manuel Swedenbourg, ufually called a teacher 
 of the church, {tiled the New Jerufalem; 
 each had a felecl: number of difciples who 
 followed their refpedive Paftors in the rear, 
 and they all, with fteady fteps, came up to 
 the mill, profeffing eileem and friendmi-p for 
 the people there, averring, they had every one 
 of them panned through the operations, and 
 figni-fying, that by long experience they had 
 obtained the knowledge of feveral improve" 
 merits in grinding, which they were free to 
 communicate to all, but efpecially to any 
 candidate for youth and happinefs, who mould 
 
 calually
 
 ( 96 ) 
 
 cafually come, during their ftay, to pafs 
 through the mill-works The Rector, Doc- 
 tor, young men, and all at the mill, received 
 them cordially and foon fpread the table 
 with wholefome refrefhments, of which they 
 all betook temperately (a few excepted) af- 
 ter which it was propofed to take a view of 
 the works and wards; in pafling the ward 
 of Tr/tf/, fome of the forwardeft and moft 
 confident of each church or feet, feeing the 
 fcales, propofed to prove their ponderoufnefs, 
 and refolved to be weighed others, more fear- 
 ful and lowly, wimed to weigh, but trembled 
 as they came up to the fcales. 
 
 The Rector gently ftepped up to a nimble 
 profeflbr (who was feff-placed in the fcale ; 
 and who, finding it eafily go down with 
 him, exclaimed, lee here, friends, here's a 
 full down fcale in me) and the faid Rector 
 putting the ftandard weights in the oppofite 
 fcale, rather haftily, up flew the other fcale, 
 in which the profeflbr was, and down fell 
 the boafter; feveral others were weighed, and 
 much the fame lightnefs was found in them ; 
 the Doctor, therefore, turned their faces to- 
 wards the left-hand wall, on which was 
 written in facred characters, 
 
 TEKEL
 
 ( 97 ) 
 we :, TEKEL, 
 
 (Which being tranflated, fignifies) 
 *' Thou art weighed in the balance, and art 
 found wanting." , 
 
 Whereas, feveral others of each fort, who 
 reluctantly, and with fear entered the Ward 
 of Trial and Scales of Truth, were weighed 
 againft Faith, Love, Hope, Patience, Purity, 
 Charity, 5cc. &c. and were found, not 
 'wanting. 
 
 The light, lean, windy, air-bubbled pre- 
 tenders, were advifed to go through the ope- 
 rations of the mill, and begin with their 
 firft works -, to wit, the Pedeftal, or ftool, 
 and Ward of Oratory Some laid they were 
 fure and certain they had been through the 
 whole long fince, that they were good weight 
 once y and if once good weight, their folids 
 could never^rf//y fall away that they fup- 
 pofed the Rector, or fome of the people at 
 the mill, had added to the ftandard weights 
 to deprefs and deceive them, and, therefore, 
 they would dhTent from their mode of weigh- 
 ing, fland upon their prefent ftate, and defy 
 all bigoted deceivers The Rector advancing 
 faid to them, Conceited men, you deceive 
 yourfelves you expect to attain the end with- 
 
 O out
 
 ( 98 ) 
 
 out the means; they grew offended, and 
 went away railing others refolved to go 
 through all the works of the mill till they 
 were ground right young, or to perifh on the 
 fpot they perfevered, they did go through 
 and became young like " little children." 
 
 Our readers may remember we left the 
 Quaker and Hodge walking in the meadow, 
 it is time to fay what was the fubftance and 
 confequence of their well-timed conference. 
 
 When Hodge ferioufly confented to walk 
 in the meadow with his new acquaintance 
 the Quaker, he appeared at firft to keep aloof, 
 and directed his lleps to the River of Reafon, 
 out of which he had drank large draughts of 
 good water before The Quaker had taken 
 in as much of the fame liquid, but, he alfo 
 had been frequently to the Rivulet , which 
 he carefully pointed out to his comrade 
 Hodge was prevailed upon to tafte this fupe- 
 rior water he tafted and tafted again, at 
 length he was fo delighted with the fpirit of 
 that peculiar water, that he afked for and 
 had a large draught thereof; fo foon as he 
 felt the falutary and fpeedy effects, and took 
 another turn or two in the meadow of con- 
 templation he began to cry out, What is 
 
 the
 
 ( 99 ) 
 
 the matter with my eyes? I fee things dif- 
 ferently to what I ever did I fee, I have 
 /pent my time and labour chiefly in vanity* 
 And I find now vexation of f pi r it What 
 have I been doing all thefe lad 40 years? 
 Why drudging after the world labouring 
 to get bread and fupport my family with 
 the character of an bo?: ft man, but I never 
 was an happy man- y I now fee I want to know 
 others mtichlo know myfelf more and mofl 
 of all, to know from whom I had my being 
 -Good Quaker, forgive my foftnefs you 
 fee Hodge unhodge himfelf I begin to like 
 you, though at firft onfet I derided you, 
 now I fee clearly, you are a far better man 
 than ever I was the fight of my pall pur- 
 fuits and follies fright me Hodge is grown, 
 old, and as (you fee) aimoft crippled with 
 labour Hodge cannot be long in this world 
 he has been told of a world to come, but 
 knows nothing about it he has all religion 
 to feek, except the name of it; what (hall I 
 do? where (hall I fly? I have heard of a 
 place of torment (I now remember it) for 
 them that jorgct God 1 have too long forgot 
 him forboding fears lugged I (hall iurely be 
 loft; tell me, Quaker, tell me if you can, 
 ' O 2 whether
 
 ( 100 ) 
 
 whether it be poffible for an old grey-headed 
 God-forgetting finner, to flee from the wrath 
 to come ? 
 
 Quaker Friend, be ftill, thou art old in 
 years, and perhaps not young in vanity, but 
 there is hope concerning thee in Ifrael thou 
 mayeft yet be both renewed and reftored; 
 only go through the inward works of this 
 mill. 
 
 Hodge Friendly ftranger, is it poffible? 
 is it poffible to reftore one weakened and 
 grown old as I am ? can fuch things be ? if 
 they can be indeed, and if they really are, 
 let us go to the mill, forthwith ; I will go 
 through any of the works, all the works ; 
 be any thing, or do any thing, fo that at the 
 end I may be what I wifh and pant to be; 
 fo that I may become vigorous (or young) 
 and happy but who will direct, me in the 
 operations ? 
 
 Quaker Thou art already directed in a mea- 
 fure let us, as you crave, go to the mill 
 the Chief Operator, whom thou haft not feen 
 with carnal eyes, will direct thee attend to 
 his inward admonitions, and thou malt be 
 led into all truth The ferious fons of 
 peace at the mill, who are inftruments in the 
 
 hands
 
 hands of the Great Operator, will give thee 
 all the afliftance in their power; if thou 
 wilt accept my feeble efforts in thy favour, 
 I will attend thee, v/hilft thou art in the 
 wards of Trial and Oratory ; yea, I will 
 keep there, and in the Silent Ward, till thou 
 pafTeft through the grinders, and comefl out 
 of the mill vigorous, and (as it were) young. 
 Hodge thankfully accepted the Friend's af- 
 fiftance they drew near the mill together 
 It happened that (Hannah) Hodge's wife, 
 his daughter Audrey, and fon Robert, (it 
 being now near fun-fet) were come to the 
 mill all the people there, the Reclor, Doc- 
 tor, young men, and others, to wit, the Pa- 
 pift, Prefbyterian, Baptift, Methodift and 
 New Jerufalemite, feeing Hodge and the 
 Quaker drawing nigh, came to the door to 
 view and receive them ; Mrs. Hodge, how- 
 ever, and her children kept behind, fearing 
 Hodge, on feeing them there, would either 
 grow humorous or angry but on their nearer 
 approach, feeing him with one hand leaning 
 on the Quaker's arm, and hanging down his 
 head, whilft with the other he held his 
 handkerchief up to his face, Hannah could 
 no longer lag behind, but fearing fome 
 
 accident 

 
 accident had happened to her hufband, or 
 that he had been taKen ill, {he exclaimed to 
 her children, iomething ails your father! and 
 infhntly running to the mill door, (they 
 quick behind her) with eager emotion (he 
 afked, My dear hufband, what is the mat- 
 ter with you ? are you not well ? 
 
 No, no, Hannah, (fays Hodge) I am far 
 enough from well, poor Hodge may never 
 be well a^ain 1 am wretched (dear wife) 
 undone, I doubt, quite undone, but don't 
 be vexed, J deferve all that has or can befall 
 me you my wife, and you my children, 
 have done your d-jty, you are happy, I am 
 miferable, and muft be fo I fear for ever-j 
 Here tears and fighs (lopped the powers of 
 fpeech Hannah and the children as yet 
 Grangers to the cauie of his grief, all fell 
 into tears The Quaker, who had loft hold 
 of Hodge, for the wife and children now 
 partly fupported and clung round him, and 
 had feparated him from his former aid The 
 Quaker (I fay) fericufly exclaimed Friends, 
 be ftill, thy hufband, thy father, may do 
 well His malady is not without in the fleih, 
 but within in the fpirit, the inward man 
 ell will be peace, 1 truft, anon but their 
 
 united
 
 ( 103 > 
 
 united cries, before they well understood the 
 friend, brought all the aflembly at the mill 
 without the door each enquired each 
 wondered mean time, Hodge, leaning on 
 his wife and children, got up the fteps, en- 
 tered the firft room, and being faint, fat 
 down foftly on the pedeftal, or ftool, that (as 
 was fa id before) flood there juft at the en- 
 trance. 
 
 Here, he fent forth fuch a flood of tears, 
 and vented fuch vehement exclamations againft 
 himfelf and his former courfe of life, that 
 many at the mill thought it neceiTary to 
 draw him off the pedeftal, others thought 
 it more proper to let him remain there a due 
 feafon ; the laft advifers formed a clear 
 majority, and amongft them were the Rector 
 and Doctor, Hannah his wife, his fon and 
 daughter, the Methodift Preacher, &c 
 The Quaker had, before this, retired firft 
 into the Oratorial Ward, then into the Si- 
 lent Ward Hodge at length cried aloud, 
 give me fomething to comfort me or I muft 
 faint The Rector fetched a little excellent, 
 wine, the Doctor flew to the medical cheft, 
 he brought a bottle of the very belt fal vo- 
 latile,
 
 latile, and another of lavender drops, mixed 
 with fpirits peculiar to the place; Hannah 
 had a fprig of myrrh about her; Roberta 
 rofe, and Audrey an apple, plucked off an 
 apple tree amongft the trees of the wood ; all 
 brought them to the weeping farmer; he 
 tafted of the wine, took fome of the drops, 
 received the fweet odour of the rofe, tafted 
 of the apple, and all, but efpecially the laft, 
 refrefhed him He became a little compofed 
 for the prefent, but foon feeling his forrow 
 afrem, he broke out again into deep lamenta- 
 tions all the people at the mill were foon in 
 profound confultation about him, all wifhed 
 him well, and all ftrove to confole him 
 the Catholic, or Popifh Prieft, firft pufhed 
 himfelf forward, and addrefled the company 
 after the following Romim faihion: 
 
 Catholic Gentlemen, fchifm, as you will 
 foon know, is a moft dangerous and dreadful 
 thing you have an inftance before your 
 faces, in the unhappy perfon on the pedeftal 
 to be out of the pale of the church is to 
 be out of the way of falvation This farmer 
 (Hodge) owns he has " done the things he 
 ought not to have done, and has left un- 
 done
 
 done the things he ought to have done/' 
 there is no health in him (you all know of 
 confcfs the fame things, and yet you refufe 
 to return and lean upon the bofom of our 
 holy father, the Pope of Rome) this far- 
 mer is bound by the chains and fetters of his 
 fins, grown grey in error, and fo funk in 
 forrow, that all of you together cannot de- 
 liver him; your mill itfelf is of no ufe except 
 to far as you have followed the Catholic 
 model and manner of working now, here 
 am I> ready to help this man of woe, by 
 the authority I have received from Saint Pe- 
 ter's fucceflbr, and by virtue of my facred 
 function, I have power to releafe him; only 
 withdraw, leave the man to me, and if he 
 will frankly confefs and repeat a few Ave 
 Marias and Pater Nofters, I will forgive him 
 all that he hath done amifs, and flake my 
 welfare againft his that he mall be whole, 
 and come off founder and better than any 
 one ever did, who have adopted your way of 
 grinding. 
 
 Pre/byferian-*-Fzther Friar, you have no 
 more power to reftore him, than you had to 
 create him. 
 
 P All
 
 Very true very true. 
 
 Eaptijl it may be of the utmoft confe- 
 quence to plunge him forthwith in yonder 
 capacious bath. 
 
 Reffor He has not been immerfed, but he 
 was fprinkled when an infant. 
 
 Paptft The Bath do little good either to 
 young or old, till the waters are mixed with 
 holy fpittle and fait. 
 
 Metbodift If thefe forrows end rightly as 
 I believe they will, he (hall have peace and 
 joy, fuch as none of us can give him. 
 
 The Quaker who before this came from 
 the filent ward and joined them, faid: 
 
 Quaker Job, when furrounded with er- 
 roneous friends, dealt plainly with them, and 
 affirmed, they were miferable comforters 
 Phyficians of no value fuch are fome of you, 
 let him alone, the guide that hath led him 
 thus far, will conduct him through all the 
 needful operations of the mill, and lead him 
 to true peace. 
 
 Methodift Preacher The worthy Friend is 
 in the right leave the farmer, let him alone. 
 
 Young Men, &c, Let him read the re- 
 cords of the mill.
 
 Papift They will not d> let him, by 
 way of preface, read the Pope's bulls and 
 traditions of the Holy Fathers. 
 
 'Jerufalemite Your records are of no great 
 ufe, your mill of lefs, and your bulls and 
 traditions of none at all let him read the 
 works of Emmanuel Sivedtriboiir^, who has 
 converfed not only with the inhabitants 
 of the planetary and other worlds, but alfo 
 with Angels and Heavenly fpiritsj reading 
 thofe works will lead him to a walk in a de- 
 lightful field, he will become as brifk as a 
 youth of 25, and not only feel himfelf young 
 and airy, but by the New Jerufalem lanthorn 
 he will fee through all your ways of darknefs, 
 and penetrate the regions of the after-world 
 he will fee the (Ireets of our New Jerufa- 
 lem, fee the houfes and inhabitants of the 
 future Rate., and, perhaps, get a glance at 
 the very tenement he mall dwell in, and the 
 lands he mall till and fow, if he turns out a 
 farmer in that celeftial country. 
 
 R.elor The records of our mill fpeak of 
 an Emmanuel infinitely greater and more glo- 
 rious than your German author though he 
 might be a well-meaning religious man 
 and they fpeak alfo of a future city, not built 
 
 P 2 upon
 
 upon airy imaginations, for that city hath 
 foundations I fliall in due time adviie my 
 refpected neighbour to fearch the facred re- 
 cords, but, at prefent, I humbly conceive it 
 will be beft to remove the farmer, if he 
 thinks proper, to the Oratorial Ward, and 
 leave him there alone. To this neceffary 
 movement, a univerfal confent was then 
 given but before Hodge arofe, Robert, 
 Hodge's fon, (a brilliant youth) came for- 
 ward, and thus addreffed the whole affembly 
 of paftors. 
 
 Fathers and reverend paftors your opinions 
 are as different as your garments, they are 
 wide and various ; your voices, in difputable 
 points, form a fort of Polyglot ; your lan- 
 guages being confounded, prove to demon- 
 ftration, you have all, more or lefs, been at 
 the Tower of Babel j but fuffer me to afk, 
 do you acknowledge, one and all, that when 
 a man is become old or unhappy by omitting 
 to do right, or doing wrong, he cannot af- 
 terwards be made young or happy unlefs he 
 be ground or renewed ? the operations, or 
 modes of grinding may differ, but do you 
 unanimoufly agree, that all muft pafs through 
 them, and be prepared for a place where per- 
 
 petual
 
 -petual fummer and perpetual youth are found, 
 or that the long wimed-for city cannot be 
 entered ? 
 
 One and all allowed it to be fo, except the 
 Catholic, who affirmed there is a purgatorial 
 mill that lies between this place and that 
 city, where, if people are not ground clean 
 here, they may be ground in the hot mill, 
 and.drofs-dreiied there; and in due time, by 
 the help of good Catholical petitions (and 
 fo forth) be admitted into the wimed-for 
 garner. 
 
 But that doclrine being over-ruled and 
 borne down by all the reft, the Farmer, who 
 had fat forrowful, yet very attentive, and had 
 heard the whole difputation, lifted up his 
 head, he looked for his wife and children, for 
 the Quaker and Methodift Preacher, for the 
 young men at the mill, and for all he knew, 
 and humbly requefted, that he might not be 
 farther troubled with vain janglings ; if there 
 is a way to vigour, faid he, mew me that 
 way, I am not a good walker now, if I was, I 
 know of no other mill than this here on this 
 flool I have opened my mind, I have cloaked 
 nothing, ihew me the way, therefore, to what 
 you call the Ward Oratorial. 
 
 The
 
 ( "0 ) 
 
 The Rector and Doctor took Hodge by 
 his hands, they led him forward, his wife 
 and children followed him, the Quaker 
 would not leave him, the Methodilt kept 
 clofe to him, all the reft wifhed to attend 
 him, and every one entered with him into 
 the Oratorial Ward Hodge felt a fervour 
 foon as he entered the facred place, he in- 
 ilantly became an orator; he fpoke in a new 
 ftyle, and with fuch a peculiar fervour, as 
 his wife or children had never heard before, 
 in fhort, he lifted up his voice fo loud, and 
 fpoke fo long, that the Rector, fearing he 
 fhould be exhaufted, opened the window that 
 fronted the Chief Mount Hodge arofe, and 
 going to the cafement for air, difcovered, at 
 a fmall diftance, a wonderful fpcftack, which 
 aftonimed and comforted him, it was the ap- 
 pearance of one who bore a heavy load, a 
 burthen which Hodge believed was his own ; 
 and when he faw him fink under it, rife 
 again, and throw it like a millflone into the 
 neighbouring fea ^never to rife more; he ex- 
 claimed That is my friend, my fubftitute, 
 and my Saviour ! 
 
 The watchful Rector inftantly brought 
 Hodge the records of the mill, and defired. 
 
 after
 
 ,, 
 
 after taking fome refrefhment, he would 
 look them over; Hodge replied, I am re- 
 frefhed, pleafe to leave me here by myfclf, 
 I will perufe the records and fee (for my 
 eyes are hetter than they were) what thefe 
 records contain The Redtar and the neft left 
 him in the Ward of Oratory Hodge began 
 at the firft leaf, and perfevered, till he deli- 
 berately read through the whole There he 
 learned to know the glorious great Father who 
 made all things the moft merciful Son of 
 the Father (the fame he faw bearing his bur- 
 then, who redeemed the fin-fold fons of 
 men) the Chief Operator*, who leads and 
 comforts all thofe who follow his directions 
 and there he faw the moft inimitable draw- 
 ings (not only of the mill itielf and all its 
 real works, but alfo) ftriking pictures of the 
 creation of our world, the formation of 
 man and his helpmate, their fall, their firft 
 promife from the Creator, their covering of 
 {kins made of the beaft flain to cloath them, 
 their banimment, their confequential toil and 
 doom " Thou malt earn thy bread by the 
 fweatofthy brow;" Ah, true, fays Hodge, I 
 
 The Hply Ghoft. 
 
 have
 
 have earned my bread fo from a boy till now 
 " Duft thou art, and unto duft malt thou 
 return" -(I know it, I know it, fays he; 
 but I have a part not made of duft, it will 
 return to my father, I am his offspring). He 
 read alfo the encreafe and wickednefs of the 
 antidiluvian world the flood Ay, ay, fays 
 he, we have turned upon my farm, far from 
 the fea, fim bones, fifhes mells, and other 
 matters, all proofs of that flood He read 
 the ftory and faw the picture of the ark a 
 painting of Noah met his eye, ditto of his 
 wife, of his family, the raven, the dove, and 
 the reft of the ark on the mountain called 
 Arrarat he next viewed the encreafe of the 
 human fpecies from eight perfons, Noah's 
 defedt, his fon's behaviour, Abraham's call, 
 his life, the promife made to him, his con- 
 nexion by his wife, Sarah's defire with 
 Agar, her fon, her and his banifhment, 
 Ifaac's birth, his marriage with Rebecca, 
 their fons Jacob and Efau's wonderful ilory, 
 the hiftory of Jacob's fons, Jofeph's remark- 
 able Jife, the treachery of his Brethren, his 
 faithfulnefs and advancement in Egypt, the 
 particulars of the Patriarchs, their feveral 
 prophetical allotments, the captivity of 
 
 Abraham's
 
 ( "3 ) 
 
 Abraham's feed; the birth, choice, and 
 works of Mofes ; the wonderful plagues of 
 Egypt, Pharaoh's obftinacy, the destruction 
 of him and all his hoft in the Red Sea, If- 
 rael's moft wonderful walk through the wa- 
 ters ; the life and adminiftratio'n, the view 
 from Pefgah, and death of Mofes ; the fall 
 of the Ifraelites in the wildernefs, the wars 1 
 and victories of Jofhua at the head of their 
 children, the divifion of the Promiied Land, 
 the prophecies of the Prophets j the coming 
 of the MeJJiah, his birth, life, doctrine, fuf- 
 ferings, death, refurrecliofr, and afcenfiofi ; 
 the calling, lives, travels, and fuccefs of the 
 Apoftles -, the rife and progrefs of the fir (I 
 (fpiritual mills m} churches ; the dodlrine of 
 Chfift in the four gofpels ; the wide gate and 
 broad road which terminate in a gulph of 
 endlefs mifefy $ the jlraight gate and narrow 
 way, which lead to life eternal ; the lives and 
 Works, the fuccefs and death of the Apof. 
 ties ; their fundry cptftles to the ancient 
 churches, and the wonderful revelations 
 of St. John the Divin& 
 
 Thefe things fo inftru$ed, encouraged and 
 charrmtd Hodge, that he refolved to go 
 
 through
 
 through every operation, fo that he might 
 become like a little child, young again here; 
 and be afTured of the happinefs hereafter, 
 which all, who are truly ground down and 
 renewed, will certainly receive. 
 
 He had no fooner declared his refolution, 
 than certain people, who juft arrived to take 
 a view of the mill, and who, after feeing 
 the works, affirmed, fomeof them were un- 
 necelTary, came into the ward were Hodge 
 was, and after hearing his cafe, they pro- 
 tefted be was ground enough already for, faid 
 they, he has been on the ftool (as we fee) 
 find have been made forrowful, he will never, 
 we hope, go the old ways again -and hav- 
 ing feen the Mount, and Him who bore his 
 load, throw it into the fea, he has no more 
 to do but to cheer up, hold faft what he 
 then believed, and conform to our orders, in 
 which, if he walks as we fhall direct him, 
 by reading the records, coming conftantly to 
 the mill, reforting to the Oratorial Ward, 
 and, at fet times flipping with the mill- men, 
 there can be no doubt whatever, but he will 
 be as young as the beft of them. 
 
 The Papijl encountered their affertions - 
 he proclaimed aloud, that Hodge could ne- 
 ver
 
 k; 1 ^ ) 
 
 ( 
 
 ver become right again till he returned to 
 the mother church. 
 
 The Baptift faid, he would not be altoge- 
 ther what he ought to be till he was buried 
 for a moment in the bath This brought on 
 a difputation, in which the Baptift had the 
 better of the argument, though the fincere 
 Quaker faid truly, and \hsMcthodift confirmed 
 the faying, there was a better way of wajhing 
 the Inner man t which they hoped Hodge 
 would inwardly attend to. 
 
 The Rector faid, Hodge had been in the 
 bath, or had been fprinkled with its waters 
 many years ago. 
 
 The difciple of Swedenbourg warmly 
 protefted Hodge could never be young again 
 till he joined the Jerufakm Church ; for that 
 all the reft were as wrong as their enemies 
 could wifh them to be The Rector, Doc- 
 tor, young men at the mill, the Metho- 
 dift Preacher, and the friendly Quaker, all 
 infifted upon it that Hodge was not fuffi- 
 ciently ground; and they all united to be- 
 feech him not iofall Jhort, but to go through 
 all the other needful works, till he felt him- 
 felf young and vigorous Hannah, Robert, 
 and Audrey (his wife and children) earneftl.y 
 
 entreated
 
 entreated him to fubmit, and pafs through, 
 and they alfo hrought the records of the mill 
 tp prove farther operations were necefTary. 
 ^VJiat is rather fingular, thofe at the mill 
 formed (but no where elfe could they make) 
 a clear majority Hodge, who for a time, 
 (till tired) was all attention, heard the ar- 
 guments, and judged, as well as he could, of 
 the merits of the debate ; after a little paufe 
 fpoke for himfelf 
 
 Hear me, my good friends, I am the per- 
 fon chiefly interefted in your confutations 
 and debates I have (in part) attended to 
 what you have all faid, pro and con, and I 
 have called in, after my ears, my eyes, and 
 my own experience, to diftinguifh what is 
 t^uth Experience, 'tis truly faid, teaches 
 knowledge -I have not much yet, but I 
 hayefufficient to let me know, though I have 
 here received unfpeakabk benefit:, I flill 
 want more it is true, my eyes have been 
 enlightened I have fat on that ilool, have 
 opened my heart to him that knows it, I 
 have looked out of yon window to the 
 mount, and mall never (I hope) as long as I 
 live forget Him I faw there, I feel too an 
 hope I never knew, before; but, after all 
 
 this
 
 I . 
 
 this, I think myfelf as yet neither perfe&ly 
 clean nor fufficiently young even whilft 
 you have been difputing, I became fo drowfy, 
 that I flipped off my feat, and falling upon, 
 fome of the dirt your feet brought into the 
 room, I have fullied my coat, and dirtied my 
 linen; bring me a brujh* that if the dirt be 
 dry it may be rubbed off, and I truft to take 
 care not again to be talked ajleep I want 
 more ftrength and better covering than at 
 prefent I wear, and I will go through any 
 thing, every thing that is ordered for fuch 
 as me, but I will obtain them let me go 
 forward friendly Redlor and all friends point 
 out the way in which I ought further to go. 
 
 CHAPTER
 
 ( "8. ) 
 
 CHAPTER XIL 
 
 Hodge consents to be ground enters the mill 
 and the works is drawn afide by bis old 
 
 */ S 
 
 companions /or a tlm*. -joins them to ring a 
 peal of bob-majors is alarmed leaves off 
 ringing and returns to the mill is rightly 
 ground, i. e. made new, and all ends hap- 
 ft'fy. 
 
 HODGE was now concluded to the 
 Watch Ward, which had for its top a 
 lofty tower; he entered the ward alone, and 
 found, for a time, peace there ; but after a 
 while, his peace, in part, was interrupted 
 by Will. Witty, Farmer Favour-fields, Mr. 
 Try-lands, and fundry others his old ac- 
 quaintances, who miffing their Sunday pipes 
 and pots of flingo at Hodge's farm-houfe, 
 and alfo hearing that the caufe of the Far- 
 mer's difcontinuance of fuch a good old cuf- 
 tom was entirely to be imputed to his being 
 at the mill* came in a body to the fpot, and 
 earneftly requefled to fee and fpcak to him. 
 
 The
 
 The Reftor, Doctor, Methodift, Quaker, 
 and people at the mill faid, their friend, 
 Mr. Hodge, was in a way of doing well ; 
 that he was placed in the Watch Ward, and 
 moft likely would not wifh to admit com- 
 pany; but as they at length infifted upon 
 fpeaking to him, they where fhewn to the 
 outfide of the ward, where they bawled 
 aloud Matter Hodge ! good neighbour 
 Hodge, where are you ? I am here, replied 
 Hodge Who are you ? and what is your 
 bufmefs with me ? 
 
 Anfwer Who are we ? why fure you 
 know our voices, we are your old neigh- 
 bours and clofe friends Will. Witty, Tom. 
 Trylands, and Frank Favour-fields we have 
 all been at a lofs about you thefe three weeks 
 we have loft the pleafure of fpending our 
 Sundays at your farm-houfe ; and fo we have 
 agreed upon a Sunday club at our own 
 houfes, by turns we are come to invite 
 you to join us, and come away from the mill, 
 or your brains will be turned, and you'll be 
 ruined meet us to-morrow, for it is Sun- 
 day, and a good day a good deed you know, 
 befide we (h^n't neglect work -, and we mall 
 have at Mr. Witty's the beft Virginia to- 
 bacco,
 
 ( 120 ) 
 
 and fome pots of good ale more- 
 over 'tis gunpowder treafon, and we intend 
 to raife the bells, and ring a round peal of 
 merry bob-majors, but we cannot do with- 
 out you, becaufe 'tis you that always call 
 the peal we have another thing on foot too 
 the Lords of the Manors, and all our 
 Landlords, are to meet the next day about 
 enclofing our commons, and building a work- 
 honfe' y and, as they lay, this will be vaftly 
 to our advantage, we wifli you to join us in 
 fuch profitable doings. 
 
 Hodge heard and felt all they faid and 
 after a paufe, he went up to the top of th 
 Watch Ward tower, and addreflfed his for- 
 mer compani6ns in the following manner : 
 
 Old companions or affociates, I am at 
 prefent otherways engaged, I have feverai 
 operations yet to pafs through before th 
 good end I came for can be obtained I want 
 my ftrength to be renewed, and to experience 
 fomething like the vigour of youth; but 
 when thofe things happen, I mail not join 
 you again in Lord's-day frolicks no more 
 Sunday (lingo at my farm as to a peal on 
 the bells on a working day, why, ringing is 
 (as they fay) my hobby-hofjk I feel an in- 
 clination
 
 clination to call the bobs, but at prefent, 1 
 dare not venture -As to enclojmg the com- 
 mons and building a workhoufe, I mould nei- 
 ther meddle nor make, if the poor would 
 not be hurt by them, but if J get ftrong 
 enough I ihall do my beft to oppofe both the 
 meafures the poor have little left but 
 common grafs, common ling, furze, flags, 
 and common liberty; and to cut up all thefe 
 by the roots at two ftrokes, i. e. (inclojures, 
 -and a confequent workhoufe) is a tafk that 
 ought to make the boldeft and moft powerful 
 adventurer mudder. 
 
 Companions Well, neighbour Hodge, you 
 fhall do as you pleafe if you will but makq 
 one of us ; we will vote, and ring, and 
 drink, and do every thing as you bid us, if 
 you will but come Now, as to the ringing 
 bout, we'll put it off till Monday, if you 
 promife to come and twirl the treble, only 
 oblige us Will you come ? 
 
 Pray, fays Hodge, go your ways, I wifh 
 you all well but let me confider of the 
 affair. 
 
 They withdrew, and left him to turn the 
 matter over. 
 
 R He
 
 (122 ) 
 
 He did Co, and walked out the Watch Ward > 
 unknown to any, to confider of this thing 
 Enclofing our commons, thought Hodge, 
 and building a workhoufe, will totally ruin 
 our poorj as for ringing a peal for gunpow- 
 der treafon, there ean be but little harm in 
 that; the confequence was, that on the fixed 
 day, Hodge wandered from the mill The 
 Rector, Dodor, and all the people there 
 who knew of his intended excurfion, would 
 fain have perfuaded him not to venture, but, 
 as they ufe no force, he prevailed, and faid, 
 he was going upon a good caufe, and, there- 
 fore, could catch no harm He did go, and 
 by his ftrong arguments in favour of the 
 poor, whom he iniifted were already deprived 
 of almoft every privilege; by his affirming, 
 if they were drove to defperation, by taking 
 away commons and rearing up workhoufes, 
 alias prifoBS, they might in time (through 
 repeated provocations) grow fo untoward,, as 
 to oppofe their oppofers, and by fundry other 
 efforts, the enclojhre and workhoufe plans were 
 over-ruled by a great majority that fo elated 
 him and thofe that voted on the fame fide, 
 the queftion, that he was eafily prevailed 
 
 upon
 
 upon to go with them to the belfry to ring 
 a peal of bob-majors ; and, faid they, if it 
 was not the day next the gun-powder treafon, 
 we ought to raife the bells, and ring for joy, 
 that the commons will remain, and that 
 the workhoufe fcheme is laid afidej in mort, 
 Hodge went with them, took the treble, 
 the bells were railed, \ 9 2, 3, 4, 5, ,6, 7, 8 j 
 they were twirled for a time merrily round, 
 but ferious thoughts began fo to work on 
 Hodge's mind, that foon after the changes 
 began, when it became his duty to call the 
 peal, he was fo harrafTed and abfent, that he 
 began to blunder, and before bobbing time, 
 called out to the oppofite ringer who pulled 
 the tenor, and whojfe name was Robert Ro- 
 per Bob ! Bob ! You are wrong faid Rp- 
 bert I think the fteeple cracks, cried Hodge 
 rr-Bob 1 Bob! Confufion fbon enfued, every 
 man, but Hodge, ftayed his bell, though 
 irregularly i but Hodge could not fet up the 
 treble on her ftays he let the rope go, 
 therefore, and the report of ting! ting! 
 ting! ting! ting ! ting! ting! ting I ting! 
 rr-ting! till (he ceafed, caufed the inhabi- 
 tants of the town to furmife (the clappers 
 beating put of courfe) that the ropes had 
 
 R 2 broke,
 
 broke, or that fome misfortune had happened 
 to the fingers Poor Hodge, however, after 
 a fhort and broken apology, faying he dare 
 ring no more^ put on his coat, wifhed them 
 well, and fneaked away to the mill again* 
 &d and forrowfuK 
 
 On his return, he Was readily received) he 
 fraffkly told them how he fared, ran haftily 
 hi to the Or atorial Warcl^ and began to ery 
 out bitterly j being, however, foon calmed, 
 he refolved afrefh to go through all the 
 Works* was removed to the Fafting W6rd> 
 there he continued from morning till near 
 evening, before he took outward refrefhrnentj 
 after a fmall repaft> the main wheel being 
 then in full motion, as the water was plen- 
 tiful, Hodge, unafked> defcended into the 
 fiopper, but being foon laid hold of by the 
 grinders, mod vehemently whirled over and 
 over> and hard prefled between them, he be- 
 gan to be alarmed fear feized him, that he 
 fhouid never get through, but perim the 
 more fo, as in that (late of violent agitatiori 
 he could fcarce fee Irght the fear of dedruc- 
 tion, and the hope of deliverance, never be* 
 fore appeared fo confpicuouSj at length his 
 hope was crowned he dropped down to 
 
 the
 
 ( "S ) 
 
 the fpout, and came out whole ; but his old 
 garments were ground away, he was nearly 
 naked, and thought within himfelf, as he 
 afterwards affirmed, he felt the grinding 
 powers wit bin- fide* as well as without \ the 
 people at the mill, ever watchful, rejoiced 
 at the operations clean linen were foon. 
 pointed out, decent under-garments appear- 
 ed, and an out<war<d robe to go over all was 
 given him, fuch as few will wear Hodge 
 looked at himfelf, walked like a little child 
 anon he leaped, Skipped, and proclaimed, 
 *'* if ever an dd man was ground young t lam" 
 He then was led to the Rivulet and drank 
 more of its fweet frreams he was (hewn to 
 the Ward of Trial, a very warm ward; 
 Hodge at one time began to fear the fire 
 would coiifume him, but an unfeen hand 
 placed a m\\\-Jkreen, between the flame and 
 him, fo that he fweetly enjoyed the (hade, 
 till he pafled and was put into the Jcale - 
 wherein being fairly poifed as ufual, all the 
 f peculators pronounced he was full 'weight 
 Hodge then embraced them* gave thanks to 
 the Chief Operator afrem, returned to his 
 family in peace, and from that day to this, 
 they have lived together in that harmony and 
 
 happinefs
 
 happinefs that none can poffibly experience 
 but fuch as are ground young. 
 
 No one rejoiced more at Hodge's conver- 
 fion than the Method i ft Preacher and the 
 pious %uaker-, at the Quaker's departure he 
 (hook Hodge heartily by the hand, faying, 
 keep clofe to the inward guidance, and good 
 things thou haft received. 
 
 The worthy Friend next addreffed himfelf 
 to all the people at the mill, efpecially to 
 the *Methodift, who had gained his higheft 
 efteem, faying, Friends, I find that 1 muft 
 foon leave you all ; I came here, not only to 
 fee you again face to face and commune with 
 you, but alfo to leave behind a token of lovs 
 for the fake of the Chief Operator, and to 
 you ; lie then pulled out from his bofom, 
 and gave into the hands of the Re&or, 
 Doctor, and Methodift, a large parchment 
 (fealed) fcroll, in which he had made over, 
 for the benefit of the people at the mill, a 
 trad: of fertile land lying not far off the 
 reft of his patrimony he bequeathed to his 
 neareft kindred -, and after a fincere and hearty 
 farewell, he left them, and foon after de- 
 parted this life in peace and in a good old age, 
 leaving behind him an irreproachable cha- 
 racter,
 
 ( 127 ) 
 
 rafter and many weeping friends; amongfl 
 them were numerous poor, to whom in 
 his life time he was a conftant and bountiful 
 benefactor all to this day bewail his lofs. 
 
 The good Quaker died a widower, but he 
 left behind him two children ; he had many 
 years before well provided for the eldeft, and 
 therefore left him no more than his bleffing, 
 and a token of parental love After feveral 
 fpecific legacies to the poor, he left the reft- 
 xiue of fortune to his youngeft fon But 
 foon after his remains were entombed (by 
 his own defire, under the flag of a . fpot, 
 walled round for the" like purpoie, being part 
 of the land he had left to the mill) Mr. 
 . Quirks, the lawyer, hearing what he made 
 .over to the mill, potted away (his Clerk 
 Trimmer, with a paper bag at his heels) to 
 his eldeft fon, and thus addreiTed him. 
 
 Quirks Good morrow, worthy Sir, I have 
 
 broke through ten engagements of confe- 
 
 quence to attend you to day I have buft- 
 
 . nefs of the utmoft importance, and joyful 
 
 news indeed to tell you. 
 
 Son What news, Mr. Quirks ? 
 
 Quirks News that will tickle your very 
 heart-firings, Sir j why I foall give you to 
 
 know 1 ,
 
 ( 128 ) 
 
 know, -Sir, that your father who is dead, has 
 left you only a trifle your youngeil brother 
 has got what the teftator chofe to fpare j but 
 he has left to the paltry people at yonder mill, 
 a large parcel of land, contrary to the cuftom 
 of the country} and, therefore, I am very 
 confident (I am fure on't) that I can take 
 away the faid land from them, and get it for 
 you I have now another laudable caufe in 
 hand exactly in point, and am fure and cer- 
 tain I mall recover in the fame way a confide- 
 rable funded property in the courfe of a few 
 days. 
 
 Son Your application is fo unexpected, 
 Sir, I am not perfectly prepared to anfwer 
 you but pray will not the matter, if liti- 
 gated, be attended with confiderable ex- 
 pence ? 
 
 Quirks Oh, Sir, as to that, why, it may, 
 to be fure, coft a trifle, but don't let the 
 co/l s fright you; I am fo confident of fuc- 
 cefs, that if you pleafe (to ufe a phrafe 'I 
 often ufe) I will go fnacks with you, win or 
 lole; if we win, as we certainly mall, give 
 me one-half, take you the other; mean time 
 I have to beg the loan of a few pounds to 
 pay my agent, and fo forth. 
 
 San
 
 ( "9 ) 
 
 Well, but hear me, Mr. Quirks, 
 pray was the land my father's fole property ? 
 
 Quirks My .dear Sir, no doubt in the 
 world but it was I can prove whom he 
 bought it of ; my Clerk here, Mr. ^Trimmer, 
 has in my bag a .copy of the conveyance fixty 
 years ago, from Francis Fullpaid, Efq. to 
 your late deceafed father and his heirs, in 
 fee fimple. 
 
 Son Well, but will it be honefl think you 
 to wreft it from the mill ? 
 
 Quirks Hone ft ! aye, Sir, perfectly honeft, 
 indifputably honeftj for whatfoever is the 
 cuftom of the country, of courfe muft be 
 honeft. . , 
 
 Son Hem ! it is not the cuftom of the 
 country to banifh all Quirks from their native 
 land fuppofe it was, (as it has been the 
 cuftom in fome countries to banim other 
 profeffional people) mould you like it ? 
 
 Quirks Dear Sir, your breeding is too 
 good to fuffer you to infult me I waited 
 upon you to do you a kindnefs if we dif- 
 fer in opinion, and you do not chufe to 
 give me the job, why then, Sir, I am, Sir, 
 your moft humble fervant. 
 
 S Son
 
 Son Good bye to you, Mr. Quirks. 
 
 They parted The fon fent for Mr. 
 Black/wan, who foon came, and between 
 them two the following converfation took 
 place : 
 
 Son Mr. Blackfwan, I have had a Gen- 
 tleman of the Law, one Mr. Quirks, with 
 me, who wifhed me to employ him in a cuf- 
 tomary piece of bufinefs ; however, I fent 
 for you, becaufe I rather chufe that you 
 fhould be concerned as my Attorney. 
 
 Blackfwan What may the nature of the 
 bufinefs be, Sir? 
 
 Son You know my father left a parcel 
 of land to the people at the mill now, 
 Quirks affirms, by the cuftom of the coun- 
 try, it may be taken away from them, and 
 recovered for me, as I am my father's eldeft 
 fon and heir at law; and if I muft have it, 
 I will not have it till you fue for and re- 
 cover it for me. 
 
 Blackfwan Then, Sir, you will never 
 have it at all, for I will not be concerned in 
 fuch fort of bufinefs. 
 
 Son I mall pay you, Sir, for what you 
 fhall do, and I thought it was lawyer's bu- 
 
 fine/s
 
 fi-ncfs to do what their clients defirad of 
 them. 
 
 Blackfwan No, no, not if their defires do 
 not accord with confcience We are jree 
 agents, not bond flaws I will not take 
 this in hand, partly for the fake of the 
 mill and partly for your fake; for if you 
 could get it (and the event is hazardous) 
 if you could'grafp it, contrary to your father s 
 dying donation, it may perhaps breed a moth to 
 eat up all you had before. 
 
 Son Sir, I fay, I will hive you my At- 
 torney in this caufe, and you mall do the 
 bufmefs too but fufFer me* to explain my-- 
 ielf, for the bufmefs is this; if there be any 
 cuflom in the country to ravim from the 
 mill-people, what my father gave them; go 
 tell them, though I ivas never ground myfelf, 
 my honour will not fufFer me to take or to 
 touch it ; go, Mr. Blackfwan, and quickly, 
 prepare at my expence an inftrument to re- 
 leafe all my real or fuppofed right in this 
 parcel of land, and let them enjoy it freely 
 for ever. 
 
 Blackfwan Honeft Sir, that I'll do with 
 
 all my heart, nor will I charge a groat for 
 
 S -'2, dping
 
 doing it. Pie did draw and engrofs the ra- 
 tification and confirmation of the Quaker's 
 gift to the mill, the fon nobly executed 
 it, and thus the matter was pleafingly fet- 
 tled. 
 
 The other cafe in point, about feven years 
 after, was concluded ; when lo ! the client 
 of Mr. Quirks, found the profeffional bills 
 fo numerous and large, and the remainder 
 to him fo Jmall, that he fpurned at the 
 trifling furplus, and with a difdainful brow, 
 told Quirks You pettifogging fellow, did 
 not you at firft onfet aiTure me, you mould 
 moft certainly recover the whole for me ? 
 
 Aye, Aye, fays Quirks, I did, and fo I 
 moft furely mould have done, had it not 
 been for the glorious uncertainty of the 
 Law 
 
 However, Sir, fays he, you have got (in 
 part) your mind, have you not? 
 
 No, wretch, replied the Client, nor ne- 
 ver {hall, till I fhake off the demerits of this 
 foul matter, and fee you ftruck off the roll, 
 or peep through the pillory. 
 
 From thenceforth, the Re&or, Doctor, 
 Methodift Preacher, Hodge, and the people 
 
 on
 
 on the fpot, continued in peace Many were 
 ground effectually, numbers came continu- 
 ally to the place public prejudices fubfitled, 
 and others, that never came there, hearing 
 of the falutary effects of grinding, at this 
 period, join the Editor to fay 
 
 SUCCESS to the MILL. 
 
 FINIS. 
 
 February 25,