. .vy-f -
 
 n i v e 
 
 r s j t y of California, Los Angeles 
 
 The 
 
 Fritz L. Hoffmann Collection 
 
 A Gift of 
 
 Olga Mingo Hoffmann 
 
 XH 
 
 m
 
 A WINTER CRUISE IN SUMMER SEAS.
 
 i
 
 A WINTER CRUISE IN SUMMER SEAS 
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 DIARY of a TWO MONTHS' VOYAGE in the 
 
 ROYAL MAIL STEAM PACKET COMPANY'S s.s. CLYDE, 
 
 from SOUTHAMPTON, through the BRAZILS, 
 
 to BUENOS AIRES and BACK, 
 
 FOR 
 
 £100. 
 
 CHARLES C. ATCHISON. 
 
 PROFUSELY 1LLUSTHATED WITH PHOTOGRAPHS, AND 
 SKETCHES BY WALTER W. BUCKLEY. 
 
 LONDON: 
 SAMPSON LOW, MARSTON & COMPANY 
 
 LIMITED, 
 
 jet. 2hm<staiv<s $E>ougc, 
 
 Fetter Lane, Fleet Street, E.C. 
 1891. 
 
 [All rights reserved.']
 
 LONDON : 
 
 rRIKTKP BT WILLIAM CLOWES AND SON'S, LIMITED, 
 
 STAMFOKD STREET AND CHASING CKOSS.
 
 SBUF 
 
 fx/H 
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 Being in failing health and ordered an ocean voyage " at 
 once," one of the three questions — " how, when, and where," 
 was solved for me. The other two I was left to decide for 
 myself, and very trying I found them, for while plenty of 
 books tell you " where " to go, few say " how." Besides, as 
 a rule, such journeys consume too much time or too much 
 money — often both. 
 
 The problem set before one, was how to make the best use 
 of, say £100, and two months' leave of absence. To begin 
 with, I attacked my task by a process of exhaustion — this 
 was too dear, that was too long a journey — and thus I 
 winnowed the issue down. So far, judgment counted for 
 something. The rest of the solution was pure luck, look 
 at it how you will. What else could it be in such a quest, 
 to light on a path of roses which, for two months to a day, 
 you shall tread in genial company, and under summer skies, 
 for exactly £100 ? 
 
 Such was my good fortune. And if you are a sufferer 
 from over- work and " beating about " for guidance, as I 
 was, you will welcome even my erratic footprints on health's
 
 viii PREFACE. 
 
 highway, and will tolerate the minute details which may be 
 of use to others if not to you. 
 
 Mind, I promise you just footprints, and no more. In me 
 you have no scientific guide, no travel-stained "globe- 
 trotter ; " nothing but a sick man wandering in search of 
 health, and finding it, or at least enough of it to make " life 
 worth living." 
 
 My "Winter Cruise in Summer Seas" was undertaken 
 solely in search of long-lost sleep, and health that fled with 
 it ; and now that both have been restored to me, I venture 
 to christen my notes with a second name, that is, I think, 
 at once appropriate and fashionable : — " ' How I found ' 
 Health." 
 
 AUTHOR
 
 CONTENTS 
 
 INTRODUCTION". 
 
 ; How," " when," and " where " to go — Eiver Plate — Royal Mail — 
 Messageries Maritime*, Bordeaux— Great waves and little waves — 
 The pro's and con's — The Clyde— Ho\*]s one thousand passengers — 
 Full ! — The cost, single and return Southampton to Buenos Aires 
 — Extra first-class— Cabin companions — The Moselle— Difference 
 in prices — Cost of trip from start to finish — Books of reference ... 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 
 
 Arrival at Southampton— The docks— The tender — The Clyde — Fare- 
 wells, contrasts — " Dewdrops on the baby's dimpled cheek " — 
 Philosophy — Ominous tidings — Volapiik— The smile that fell off — 
 Portly old gentleman — Vigo— Quarantine— " The Needles" — 
 Dressing for dinner — How it's done — Forebodings — Debate — 
 Motion — " Cormorants " — Dining saloon — Me'au — Alter dinner — 
 Portland coast — Cabin companions — " Dreaming aloud " — Conver- 
 sazione — Dressing under difficulties — " Thames at Waterloo 
 Bridge"— The ship's bells—" Mark time "— " All's well ! "— " Bull " 
 calves— Island of Ushant— Bay of Biscay — "The Ides of March 
 are come " — Unberufen ! — " Burst to-day and die to-morrow " — 
 P. 0. G. " Pog " — Hurrah ! the ghost is laid — Apostrophe to the 
 " Sunny South " — Noontide notice — The " Run " — The Chief 
 Engineer — Seven thousand horses — The reins lay in his hand — 
 John Kemp Ritchie — Description of the Clyde; dimensions and 
 weights— Pog "off colour:" "a la f€tard" — The watch minute- 
 hand lost— The engines: their pace — The dynamos— The Inferno 
 — " Clockwork and dynamite " — " Called to the bar " — " Breaking 
 their chests" — Pog's waistcoat pocket — The whitkered hand 
 restored — Magnetism or hypnotism, which ? — Pog's retreat beats 
 the record — " Hey, Presto ! " — Yarns— Nails " in black for his 
 darling wife "—Ten yeai s' " penal servitude " — Snoring again — The
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 Bay, Pog's malicious crackers — " Portuguese men-of-war" — " Learn 
 of the little Nautilus," etc. — Remorseless Science — Suez — The 
 Russian Count ami the little man — Bloodshed prevented — Bound 
 over to keep the peace — Taken ashore and lost — The discovery — 
 The only " bit of comfort " — " As I make your bed so you must lie 
 on it " — Approaching the Tagus — Belem Fort — Sixty-four hours 
 fmm Southampton — "It's the pace that bothered me" — Lisbon — ■ 
 "Stricken with admiration" — Boy's happy thought — Third prize 
 in the Beauty Show of European cities — Traced to Abraham— 
 Also to Ulysses — Julius CaBsar — Felicitas Julia — " Monopoly in 
 Earthquakes" — The "Output" — The fatal concession — The wave, 
 the abyss, and the whirlpool — Sixty thousand persons swept away 
 — Lisbon practically disappeared — The Irish Brigade — "Tiger 
 Tim " — " Hookey fingers " — Ashore — Climate — Short street with a 
 long name— House numbering' — Bull-fights — Chapel of St. Vincente 
 — The story of " the two black crows " — Church of Nossa Senhora 
 do Monte — Mothers in posse — Igreja da Graca — Ex Voto, wax 
 models: pictures. — Life-saving in all its branches — The artist: 
 " ready-made or bespoke " — An order — Double-faced dealings — 
 " Mumm "" is the word — Fruit-sellers — Slate-coloured cats — Oxen 
 drawing waggons — "Imports, exports, and transports" — Valley 
 of Alcantara — The Aqueduct — Diogo Alves, " the inveutor " — 
 His end — The Market, Praca da Figueira — "Women always will 
 talk of what runs in their heads" — Fountains — Eye-water — Pog 
 ashore — En route for Cintra — The Palace — " Por Bern " — Philippa 
 — Verses — Hall of Shields — Mafra — Lines of Torres Vedras — Our 
 donkeys — " Facilis descensus"? — Quinta de Monserrate — Cork 
 Convent — Hermit Honorius — Trees, grapes, dogs — Our difficulty 
 with Portugal — "American spoken"! — On board — Emigrants — 
 Passing the doctor — Dr. Blandford — Rejected — Verses : " Bread 
 cast upon the waters" — "Show him out" — The coats of many 
 colours — Emigrants' menu — The "fiddles" — The meeting of the 
 waiters — Leaving Lisbon — Verse explaiued 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 LISBON TO ST. VINCENT. 
 
 Crossing the bar — A gale — Leaving my old cabin — Leaving my new 
 berth — On the floor — An introduction — A collision avoided — On 
 deck at night — Pog doesn't know me — Shaved ! Shaved ! — 
 " Grappling-irons on your night-shirt " — Pog's eye-lotion — The 
 timid man — " The murderer" — " I'm not myself at all" — A human 
 " Zoo," animals fed at 12.30 — How the emigrants pass their time — 
 Pog on the trail — Self-hunted — The rambler — The "Hash-slinger" 
 — Small profits and quick returns — Young telegraphist of St. 
 Vincent — Their new pastor — Our Yankee — A contrast — The two
 
 CONTENTS. xi 
 
 PAGE 
 
 "doxies" — "A draw, or a stale mate" — A shrine where all may 
 sacrifice — Mr. Manley — Sir Vivian Bland — Las Talmas, Canary 
 Islands — Our children — Ballooning — Ascents v. Descents — Claret 
 and water — The water of St. Vincent — Flying-fish: how they live 
 and how they die — Mother Carey's chickens — The tale of the 
 Corncay — The Venezuelan Government has its Navy taught naviga- 
 tion — The Conway aground — A flying-fish pays us a "flying visit" 
 — Approaching St. Vincent — St. Antonio and "Other lights" — 
 78° in my cabin — Bird Island light — Washington's Head — The 
 Verde Islands — Himalaya troopship, with Inniskillings aboard — 
 CapeVerde — Climate — Religion — Produce — Famine — Imports — No 
 grass: cricket on cocoanut matting — Island of St. Antonio — Cholera 
 — Island of Fogo— Island of Bravo — Porto Grande — The " City " of 
 Mindella — Its wares — Its foreign Consulates — 90° in the shade — 
 Anchorage — Cricket v. Quarantine — Shell necklaces — Windowless 
 houses — Small-pox, etc. — Division of labour among men and 
 women — Woman's rights — ** Gee me penny " — " God's image cut 
 in ebony" — Divers sports — Under our keel — Haud-over-hand 
 swimming — The "cable club" — Cricket match with tho Himalaya 
 (Inniskillings) — The cricket mania — Mrs. " Slip," Mrs. "Long-le*," 
 Dr. "Bat" — The consultation — Good for a "century" — Telling 
 tales out of school ... ... ... ... ... ... 50 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 ST. VINCENT TO PERNAMBTJCO. 
 
 Leaving the Verde Islands— The "Gulf line"— 86° in my cabin— The 
 puzzle lock — "Mouse-trap in three letters" — Fresh fruits from St. 
 Vincent — Dancing on deck — The band — Some of the dancers — ■ 
 Oh ! for a Quadrille ! — " The rhythm of unresting feet " — Sunday, 
 2 a.m. — " Meet me by moonlight alone " — Strange bedfellow — Is 
 it a mermaid, or only a dream ? — Various theories — The Portuguese 
 certificate— Hypnotism — Pog's mental abstraction — The result — 
 Moonstruck or drunk from the opening of the port? — No duels 
 allowed on the Clyde on Sundays — "Bull" in your own cabin — 
 Church parade — Service in the saloon — The hymn " St. Alban " — 
 The fo'cas'le chant — Pog's vocal organ — The Yankee in doubt 
 — "J.H.S.": Pog explains — The Purser interviewed— Vessel 
 signalling — Our flags — The little Portuguese town astern — Lucifer 
 matches on board — Fire is bad and shipwreck is bad, but terror is 
 worse — "Fear nothing but fear'' — The Irishman's new boots — ■ 
 North German Lloyd steamer homeward bound from the Plate— 
 The Doldrums — Two thousand five hundred miles from home — 
 " When the breeze conies before the rain," etc. — Mr. Courtney 
 — Well-digging — Pumping by horse-power — Ostrich farming — ■ 
 Steering the ostrich — The tarantula — Porpoises— Tropical rain —
 
 Xll CONTENTS. 
 
 Measles — Pog's secret preventive — His " eye- water " deserves its 
 name — Visions of coming quarantine — Mill's political economy — 
 The Brazilian and the Portuguese — " Prodigal son"— Pog's 
 "revised version" — "Great fleas have little fleas," etc. — Patriotic 
 songs — Nursery rhymes — Cliques and coteries on board — The 
 Spaniard and the Portuguese compnred — "Climate and company:" 
 the Yankee's choice — Heat in Rio — The "Star" razor — A friend 
 in need — " One ' Star ' differeth from another," etc. — A stiff gale — 
 The Chief Officer — Glorious weather — The heat — Advantages of 
 extra first-class cabin — " Crossing the line " — Steaming and sailing 
 — Puny descendants of giant jokes — Seeing the equator — Shark- 
 catching — Liquid glory of the ship's path — A trail of molten gold — 
 " Mr. Cross"— 4 a.m. "The Southern Cross" — Verse: "Here and 
 There" — "Ain't a patch on the Bear" — The "False Cross" — ■ 
 Soliloquy — Pog's little sermon — The " Cross " as a cross — The 
 Chief Officer explains — "The Southern Cross" as a device — I 
 agree with the look-out man — Orion — Sirius — " Sixty billions "— 
 Counting a billion— Sunrise— The King of Day— Water— Passing 
 Ftrnando de Norhona— Pog demands justice— Making the ghost 
 walk — Pog harangues us re "the murderer" — "To-morrow it 
 will be too late" — The search — " A game of chess shall decide his 
 fate" — "A draw " makes Pog furious — Pernambnco from the ship 
 — Olinda — Orange groves and palms — Churches — The reef — Bum- 
 boats alongside the Clyde— Pineapples, etc. — Emigrants lay in 
 supplies — A frigate-pelican — Ashore — 90° in the shade— Cata- 
 marans — Sharks — Duarte Cochlo — "Gate of hell" — "Oh, how 
 beautiful!" — George Cochlo — Vieira — Baweto — All Pernambnco 
 "is divided into three parts" — Recife. San Antonio, Boa Vista — ■ 
 Building and paving — Refuse — Butcher's shop — Olinda — Jesuit 
 College — " Far Bahia" — My benefactor — Algarrobo trees — Cafe's— 
 Parrots— Naked boys and girls— Mules— Lottery tickets — The 
 long thumb-nail — Sugar — Alderney oxen — Smells — Fat negresses 
 — Merrhants — Transition from Southampton to the tropics — A 
 memento — " Oh, those enterprising Germans ! " " Blue-peter " — 
 Up anchor ... ... ... ... ... ... 72 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 PERNAMBUCO TO BAHIA. 
 
 A little joke — " The partners " — Frightened or faithless ? — The fox 
 and the straw — Pernambuco coffee — Cock-crow on board— Sims 
 Reeves in a crate — A death on board — The crow of ill omen — 
 " A crow's a crow " — The coffin and the Union Jack — Worse news : 
 Small-pox on board — Bank Manager, Monte Video — How for- 
 tunes are made — £115,000 profit— Coasting to Bahia — Catamarans 
 — Counting the revolutions by beats under the foot — Blue waves 
 with white caps — Cape San Antonio — The boilers of the Beliance 
 — Half-a-gale — Itaparica — The Thames twin-sister to our Clyde —
 
 CONTENTS. XI 11 
 
 Basilisk bound for Rio— Anchored— The bay— Panorama on ship- 
 board—Tropical vegetation— The sea emerald green— Scents from 
 the shores— View in the bay— Brazilian funeral march— Pratique 
 —The doctors — Dr. Blandford — English, Scotch, Irish— The 
 Company's selection — Small-pox patients go into hospital — 
 Ashore— The Clyde illuminated— Disillusioned— Yellow fever- 
 Victoria— The market— Black women— Fruits— " Navel oranges" 
 — Feather-flowers — Loving monkey — Palanquins — Cathedral, 
 churches— The elevator— Views as you rise— The new town- 
 Hotel Paris— Ciuelty to mules— The slopes— Negresses and their 
 escorts— A city full of niggers— Thome da Sousa— San Salvador— 
 Bahia de Todos-os-Santos— Precious stones— " Southern Star"— 
 A diamond worth five millions-and-a-lialf sterling— Chapel of 
 Ayuda— Father John Martin— Bahia's export trade— Huge trees- 
 Dutch Admiral : his death— Oh, for a bath !— Starting for Rio ... 103 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 SAHIA TO RIO DE JANEIRO. 
 
 Left behind— The "murderer" commits suicide for Po°;'s sake— Pog 
 relents— Lunch off Bahia fruits— The doctor ill— His tecum tenens 
 —Captain ill— Many friends— Complete happiness—" The Southern 
 doss"— Children and kittens— Slumbering giant— Whale : his life- 
 aud-death battle with a swordfish and a thresher-shark — True 
 British sportsmen — Brazil and the United States compared — 
 Effect of position on races— Snakes— Pog quotes Moore—" Neat, 
 but diluted"— Brazil: its birds, fruits, and produce— Brazilian 
 negroes : suicides— Emancipation— Whales— " Whales' food : " its 
 odour— Bronchitis : a little sufferer— The " potentate " and the good 
 Samaritan— It is chilly : Cape Frio— Albatross— Approaching Rio 
 
 The "Sucar-Loaf" in view — Dolphins attack the vessel — A 
 
 whale-bird— Rio in sight— Entering the harbour— Botofogo— The 
 gate of Paradise— Corcovado— Tijuca— The Organ Mountains— 
 Petropolis— Nitherohi— Mr. Ringer lands— Ashore— The Market— 
 Rua Direita— La Gloria— Rua do Ouvidor— White's Hotel, Tijuca 
 
 Sunset—" The ribbon of the rainbow "—Rio illuminated— 111° in 
 
 the shade— An unbroken garden— Negroes— Yellow fever and its 
 victims— Oases— Natural beau lies— Botofogo bay— The Avenue of 
 Palms— Botanical Gardens— Their ideal position— Anti-c'imax— 
 Unpeopled delights— "The cooks!"— The fatal sun— " Palmam 
 qui meruit ferat "—Butterflies— A lizard— A dish of snails and 
 oysters— A huge cockroach— Drainage— A sewage buth— Aboard 
 once more— Verses from Tijuca Peak ... ... ... ... 116
 
 XIV CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 RIO DE JANEIRO TO BTJENOS AIRES. 
 
 PAGE 
 
 Leaving Rio — Vacant tables — How to drain Rio — Captain and Doctor 
 still ill — H.M.S. Cleopatra on her way to Rio to salute the new flag 
 of the Republic — A Pampero threatens — A cyclone in the Japan 
 seas — Half-a-gale — Liverish Yankee — Another, on enterprise — 
 " Leaping the reef" — " There's no good in exaggeration " — A cabin 
 to myself — A ship's kitten performs — My birthday : where am I ? 
 — The Doctor and Chief Engineer ; " Ah, Ritchie, ah ! " — Getting 
 cooler — 52° — "Pitch and toss " — Arranging a concert — Description 
 of a Pampero — Pog's opinion — A narrow escape — Dissective criti- 
 cism—Lost in a cloud of words — " Captain Cuttle " — The Paris of 
 the Brazils — The Clyde dances a hornpipe — Preparations for a 
 concert — The performance — *'The collection will now be made" — 
 "Munty Viddy " — " A second .Singapore " — View of the city from 
 the Clyde — Pratique doubtful — A Captain gets quarantine for 
 being in a hurry — Corbinas — A great gulf fixed — Launches — The 
 Aconcagua — Petty, the Plate pilot — Quarantined ! — Yellow fever — 
 Flores — Our steam launch ! — View of the Lazaretto — Farewell, 
 forlorn friends ! — Unloading bananas — A leap for life — The boat- 
 davits — Monte Video : a sunset — Pog's last yarn : he proves him- 
 self a Solomon — The watch and its owners — Pog's farewell: a 
 toast — Petty on political economy — Trade-unionism — Petty's 
 factotum — A union advocate — Borracho ! Gringo ! — " On the word 
 of an Englishman" — I should like an answer ... ... 139 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 BUENOS AIRES, EOSAEIO DE SANTA FE, LA PLATA, ETC. 
 
 Rio de la Plata — The Uruguay, Paraguay, and Parana — Villa 
 Longa Company — Going ashore — Wrecks! Wrecks! Wrecks! — 
 Twenty thousand victims of yellow fever — 7 he Stirling Castle — 
 Passing the Custom-House — Our hotel — " The Residents and 
 Strangers' Club " — The Argentiue Republic — Population : territory, 
 government, army — First impressions of Buenos Aires — Its forma- 
 tion — Houses — " Ave Maria ! " — Light — Hotch-potch architecture 
 — Horses — Plazas — Plaza Victoria — The ex-President — The 
 Exchange— The " tuppenny ha'penny" dollar— The Cathedral — 
 General Saint Martin— The Recoleta— Calle" Florida— Extract 
 from local guide book — The Catholic Cemetery — " Assassinated by 
 his friends " — Don Manuel Rosas, the tyrant President, a gaucho — 
 The gaucho described— Sketch of Rosas' life— Trams, mules, 
 horses— Odd horse and lasso-boy — Tram horn— Tram routes— 
 Avenida Alvear — Palermo— Avenida— Sarmiento — The Corso — 
 Palace of Rosas—" 3 de Febrero " Park—" The Zoo "—The Prome-
 
 CONTENTS. XV 
 
 FAGB 
 
 nade — Fire-flies — Belgrano, etc. — Quintas — Plaza General Lavalle 
 ■ — Plaza Libertad — Plaza Once de Septernbre — Plaza Constitucion 
 — Clubs: social, boating, cricket, etc. — Philanthropic institutions — 
 British Journals — Milk-carrier— Churning — Clockmaker's shop : 
 earthquake effect on — The chief scene of the revolution of July, 
 1890 — Some statistics — My memento, a bullet — The police and the 
 commissaries — Anecdotes of the police, showing how they live — ■ 
 How they die — ' - If you want to pass the time, Shoot a p'liceman ! " — 
 An ugly butcher's bill — The true story of the revolution (from 
 an eye-witness) — How and when it was hatched — The signal — 
 The arrests — Peace without honour — Fluctuations in the value of 
 gold — Fighting in the Exchange — Revolution averted — How the 
 ups and downs of gold work — Failure of Baring Brothers — On 
 credit — The Spaniard and the Portuguese : a contrast — Paper 
 currency, the germ of dishonesty — Railway tricks— Restaurant 
 tricks— Infection currency — Oh, Mr. Goschen ! — Curious cure for 
 headache — Dress in Buenos Aires — The toilet of a native dandy — 
 The mosquito — How to use the curtains — A midnight serenade — 
 What is good for mosquitoes — What is better — " There is a brotherly 
 bond among us English " — The Central Market : a s=ad reminiscence 
 — Verses : " If in my cup of life I meet "—Clocks ! Clocks ! 
 Clocks ! — I catch infection in a church — A tropical smell— The 
 hotel cock : his last crow — Greenwich time — Delicacies — No stoves 
 — Grandeur of the evening skies — Drought for three months — 
 Effects on the Pampas — Insect noises — The heat : one that didn't 
 feel it— Trip to Tigre— Ranchos— Hotel— Fire-flies— An English 
 family — A dream of the Thames : only a dream — Woman and 
 tobacco or vice versa — Rosario de Santa Fe' — La Plata — Born an 
 adult — The Argentine lost to us — Neglected by the United States 
 — Statistics— The price of horseflesh — Delicate ground ... ... 163 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 BUENOS AIRES TO RIO DE JANEIRO. 
 
 Once more on board — Disgraceful behaviour — Former experiences — 
 Smuggling — " The maids of Llangollen " — Monte Video — Captain 
 Musgrave — Ashore in Uruguay — Histoi ical — The Bolsa — Tomb of 
 General Flores — Church of the Immaculate Conception — The 
 heroes of Paysandii — The bull-ring: doomed — Banda Oriental — 
 The President — Statistics — Mr. Evans: his park (Prado) — Trams, 
 waggons, butchers' shops, milk-carriers — Gold — The shifty dollar — 
 Mementoes — Mr. Turner — More delicate ground — Farewell, Monte 
 Video — Excitement : its effects — All things in common — At 
 Ritchie's side again — My health restored — Our numbers— Excuses 
 for champagne — Shipmates — An apology in advance — "I told you 
 so" — The nail-maker — How to see San Paulo — The "Southern
 
 xvi CONTENTS. 
 
 Cross " — Hough weather — GaiDing time — " The brink of revolu- 
 tion " — An English lady, re the boats, railway travelling, etc. — 
 Clyde v. The G. S. N. Company — My own experience — " Drunkards' 
 Corner" — A former occupant, and the present one — A sketch — 
 Sautos : San Paulo — Tapioca — San Paulo to Rio, by rail — Vine 
 the vigorous — "Apply to my executors" — Fire-stations drill — Boat- 
 drill — Heroes handing potatoes — Brazilian frigate — Emigrants 
 out-going and home-coming — Portuguese bathers — Ritchie and a 
 third engineer — The Monedas, or money-dance — Dumb motions — 
 The knife-grinder : a mistake ... ... ... ... 215 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 KIO DE JANEIRO TO BAHIA. 
 
 The "Sugar Loaf" — Jerked beef — Anchored at Rio — Ashore — The 
 Tribuna newspaper — Offices attacked— Corcovado railway— Ascend- 
 ing the Mountain — A nerve-testing experience — Sunset from the 
 top — The Paneiras hotel near the top— Colonel Alexandre — The 
 assault on the Tribuna — The President — The ex-Emperor — His 
 simplicity — The Republic : elements of instability — Evening on 
 Corcovado : sunrise, from the top — Rio, bay, mountains, islands, 
 sea — Ferns and orchids — Farewell to Rio — Verses, " Pro's and 
 Con's" — Amenities — Tarantulas — Snakes — Effect of rapid transi- 
 tions — Risks — Chess — The smuggler — "Anemptydog" — "Archen- 
 tina" — " Karing Cross" — Ship's lights — Delayed — Whale along- 
 side — Bashful woman — Women of the fin-de-siecle guild — Reverting 
 to Rio — Colonel Alexandre and Sir Vivian Bland — Incident of the 
 Argentine revolution, to be taken " with salt " — Ultimatum of 
 combined fleets — Bahia revisited — Feast days : bells and crackers 
 — " Not Bahia at all " ... ... ... ... ... 245 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 BAHIA TO ST. VINCENT. 
 
 Experiences going ashore and returning — Arithmetic — Tropical rain — 
 Ferns — A Send marmoset — " Half dog, half bear " — Robbed 
 and cautioned—" The Tiger of the Plains " — Sub judice — Quiroga's 
 "Ordeal by twig"— The "Southern Cross" 4 a.m.— 86° in my 
 cabin : 80° on deck — Coasting — Pernambuco — Bumboats : 
 Monkeys, parrots, fruits — Commerce by bag— Parrots that never die, 
 except " by proxy " — My parrot — " The German piping bullfinch" 
 — Parrots and a marmoset — Alas ! No pineapples ! — The electric 
 light — The Clyde's first shark — " A little tea-party " — Kitten and 
 monkey — Plucky little imp — " True and False crosses" — The imp
 
 CONTENTS. XVl l 
 
 PAG E 
 
 eats tartar emetic : his jump — " Jacko," the Doctor's monkey : 
 Shaving, drinking, the "blue-ribbon," death— Fernando de Norhona 
 — Indian catamarans — The Liguria : catch, pass, and win — Cold — 
 Crossing the line — Clark, Ritchie's black servant— Our tricks — 
 Sunday school — My notes— A dying Portuguese— Poetic justice — 
 Rio prawns — Our Singer and Yarner — My vis-a-vis: "now," and 
 "then" — Character sketch — Elephant and partridge — Sunrise: 
 cogitations— The sun's "cocktail"— 5.30 a.m. twice— Death of the 
 Portuguese : his burial at sea— Serious accident : two falls— Lovely 
 weather — From flowers to overcoats — The actress' bouquet and its 
 poetry — -The Captain — Easy shaving: "Uruguayan soap," verses — 
 Introspection—" Spare time : " notes—" A detective "— " Whether 
 what everybody says is true "—The lover and the policeman: 
 verses— The Pacific S.S. Portisea—" Drawing the line "—My parrot 
 in danger—" Self-possession "—Saved !— Needless anxiety, illus- 
 trated — " Let me out ! " — " Stone walls do not a prison make," etc. 
 — St. "Vincent — Divers — Under the Clyde in 28 seconds — A quarrel 
 — Two English third-class passengers more trouble than a thousand 
 Portuguese — Insolence — Lines on " A Nobodee " ... ... 271 
 
 CHAPTER XL 
 
 ST. VINCENT TO LISBON. 
 
 Washington's Head— Sunset— Coaling— Temperature varying— Infec- 
 tious vivacity — Farewell, Reckitt's blue — The sun and I : a breach 
 prevented — The weather — Chloroforming a parrot — Grumblers at 
 dinner — How to feed on board wisely — Perfect weather — Marmosets 
 dead — Rainbows in the spray — "Honest quaker" — Monkeys : love 
 at first sight— The parting— Sunrise off Las Palmas— Teneriffe— 
 Cold and hot— My parrot " Che " — Sapodillas— " Slowing-down " 
 to kill time — Tempting offers— Keeping faith with the public- 
 Christmas : hopes and fears — Sunday, the choir, the hymn — A 
 "St. Bernard" puppy: the moral applied — The "Angel Choir" 
 and their guardian — Elderly lady and her air-cushion: a. model 
 Captain — The Duke and the toad — "Little things"— Obliging 
 officers — Schooner and " cocktail " — Porpoises — Lisbon — Overcoats 
 — Parrots dying by dozens — Not quarantined : a surprise — " Touch- 
 ing Europe " — Ritchie's sword — No nautiluses — Confusion of the 
 Seasons — The Portuguese Englishman — Neighbours — Deaf mute... 308 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 LISBON TO SOUTHAMPTON. 
 
 Down the Tagus — One-legged boatman — Jones and the lady missionary 
 — Coaling — Petroleum as fuel — " Che's " new bunk — Mr. T. Con-
 
 XVlll CONTENTS. 
 
 stantine — The alligator : skin and oil — The cold — Argentine gold 
 — A wreck — Elderly lady on woman's wrongs: a disgrace — ''The 
 last straw " — I am "a tainted source" — Lumpy seas — Vigo Bay — 
 The rocks on which the Valparaiso split — Vigo : brief account of 
 Drake's victory over combined fleets of France and Spain — Lord 
 Cobham — Fishing village of Cangas— Sheltered bay — Sardines — 
 Vigo pretty, and but forty hours from Southampton : but ! — 
 Weighing anchor — Warm sun — Bound for the Biscay Bay — Cape 
 Finisterre — Cape Torinana — H.M.S. Captain: Young Childers* 
 grave — Bay of Camariuas, where H.M.S. Serpent went ashore — Well 
 into the Bay — Invalided home — A masher: his travels — The rollers 
 — What must this bay be in bad weather! — The "Ritchie Club" 
 — "Paddy's Wedding," in English — An English sjtech in Irish 
 — "Remove that man 1 " — " Not frightened of his own coat" — Nor 
 am I of mine— Cigars 2s. 6d. each — A parrot overboard — Dog and 
 his gallant master — My " Che's " contrition — Rain and spray sweep 
 the deck — Five years younger, and ten years older — Mr. Mervin 
 at the organ — Broken from his moorings — Our last merry meeting 
 — "A song of the Clyde" — Cosy cabins — Intensely cold on deck- 
 Ritchie on duty all night — We voyage to his cabin — A full gale — 
 Nearing the " Needles " — Nine hours on the bridge — Layiug-to in 
 a snowstorm — The Doctor's narrow escape — England wrapped in 
 snow — The Scheldt frozen — The Clyde will not go to Antwerp — 
 Rejoicings — Anchored — Farewell to the Clyde — Southampton : the 
 Custom-house — London — Verses : L'Envoi — Farewell!... ... 331
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS. 
 
 Bay of Rio de Janeiro Frontis 
 
 "Farewell!" 
 
 « The smile fell off" 
 
 *' Beg pardon ; that's my 
 
 coat" 
 
 41 The constitutional " 
 
 "I wish you wouldn't dream so 
 
 loud" 
 
 A conversazione ... ... 
 
 " All's well ! " 
 
 " Begone, dull care " 
 
 A tete-a-tete ... ... 
 
 In the clouds ... ... 
 
 Neighbours. "I just dropped 
 
 in" 
 
 " The Inferno" 
 
 The glass is rising 
 
 "Good mo(u)rning ! Have you 
 
 used ?" 
 
 Sun-dried Virginia 
 
 The challenge 
 
 Belem Fort, Tagus 
 
 Praca do Rocio, Lisbon 
 The whirlpool ... 
 Senhor Dom Murphy ... 
 
 " Hooky ringers " 
 
 *'Ha-didoo?" 
 
 "Laranja!" ... 
 
 Diogo Alves — A promising 
 
 career abridged 
 Aquarius 
 " Delieioso ! " ... 
 A glimpse of Cintra ... 
 " Facilis descensus " ? ... 
 The hermit Honoring ... 
 The dog and the grapes 
 
 'piece 
 
 Passeio D. Pedro D'Alcant ira, 
 
 
 1 
 
 Lisbon 
 
 44 
 
 4 
 
 "Rejected!" 
 
 45 
 
 
 A collision at sea 
 
 48 
 
 5 
 
 t/Vtstable companions ... 
 
 50 
 
 8 
 
 Ideal sketch of Pog's pyjamas 
 
 52 
 
 
 Senhor Dom Razor, loq. 
 
 53 
 
 8 
 
 Emigrants playing " Ronda " 
 
 5t 
 
 9 
 
 A contrast 
 
 57 
 
 10 
 
 Jack and Jill ... 
 
 59 
 
 12 
 
 " You are requested not to cross 
 
 
 13 
 
 the line! " 
 
 61 
 
 15 
 
 " After you, I'll be first " 
 
 63 
 
 
 The Venezuelan fleet 
 
 63 
 
 17 
 
 The broken chair 
 
 65 
 
 18 
 
 Real turtle and mock turtle ... 
 
 66 
 
 19 
 
 Woman's rights 
 
 68 
 
 
 Diving, at St. Vincent 
 
 69 
 
 20 
 
 The consultation 
 
 70 
 
 22 
 
 The Himalaya ... 
 
 72 
 
 23 
 
 " The rhythm of unresting feet " 
 
 74 
 
 25 
 
 The flying-fish 
 
 75 
 
 26 
 
 "St. Alban" 
 
 77 
 
 28 
 
 Portuguese emigrants ... 
 
 79 
 
 29 
 
 Steering the ostricli ... 
 
 82 
 
 30 
 
 Pog's piece of camphor 
 
 83 
 
 31 
 
 Nursery rhymes 
 
 85 
 
 34 
 
 Seeing the equator 
 
 88 
 
 
 The Southern Cross ... 
 
 90 
 
 35 
 
 Twenty-reis piece 
 
 91 
 
 36 
 
 " Why don't toe ? " 
 
 94 
 
 38 
 
 " but not enjoying it " ... 
 
 95 
 
 39 
 
 Hut in Olinda, Pernambuco ... 
 
 97 
 
 41 
 
 Olinda, with the Recife; in the 
 
 
 42 
 
 distance 
 
 99 
 
 42 
 
 "Fatiuia" 
 
 100
 
 XX 
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS. 
 
 PAGE 
 
 Bullock-cart, Pernambuco ... 101 
 The " Piccadilly " of Pernam- 
 
 buco 102 
 
 " The girl I left behind me ! " J 03 
 My fauteuil at the Pauorama 107 
 " Yours affectionately " ... 110 
 
 Elevator, Baliia Ill 
 
 Carapo Grande, Bahia ... 113 
 
 Philosophy 116 
 
 His last gasp ... ... ... 119 
 
 On the Serra near Petropolis 120 
 "Black and white"— African 
 
 slaves 122 
 
 "Free!" Brazil, 1892 ... 122 
 
 The " Sugar Loaf," Rio ... 124 
 
 A glimpse of Petropolis ... 126 
 
 The Imperial Chapel, Hua Pri- 
 
 meiro de Marco, Rio ... 128 
 The small cascade, Tijuca, Rio 129 
 Hotel Villa Moreau (White's 
 
 Hotel), Tijuca, Rio ... 130 
 
 Grin and bear it 131 
 
 Avenue of Palms, Rio 134 
 
 The cyclone ... ... ... 140 
 
 "Ali! Ritchie, ah!" 144 
 
 " Light astern ! " 151 
 
 " A chip of the old block" ... 155 
 
 Saved! 156 
 
 '• Solomon Pog, Esquire !" ... 159 
 " On the word of an English- 
 man!" 161 
 
 Monte Video, from the mast- 
 head of the Clyde 162 
 
 La Boca, Buenos Aires ... 164 
 
 Plaza Victoria, Buenos Aires 167 
 The Cathedral, Buenos Aires 169 
 
 <k Gracias, caballero! " 171 
 
 A Gaucho ... ... ... 173 
 
 The palaver ... ... ... 174 
 
 A tram auxiliary 175 
 
 The Corso, Palermo, Buenos 
 
 Aires 176 
 
 Belgrano, Buenos Aires ... 177 
 
 The lecheru, Buenos Aires ... 179 
 Plaza Lavalle, Buenos Aires 180 
 During the Revolution — Buenos 
 
 Aires ... 181 
 
 Argentine police 182 
 
 PAGB 
 
 Plaza Libertad, Buenos Aires 184 
 
 "No go!" 186 
 
 The metal exchange 188 
 
 " Expectations," etc 189 
 
 Ready for the Britisher ... 191 
 
 Achilles in his tent ... ... 194 
 
 Game to the last ... ... 197 
 
 " It's a bit milder to-day " ... 203 
 
 A Rancho on the Pampas ... 204 
 
 " Mind the longitude ! " ... 206 
 
 Rosario de Santa Fe' 207 
 
 Chalet in La Plata 210 
 
 How La Plata was built ... 211 
 
 Thirty-one last birthday ... 214 
 
 Waiting 217 
 
 The Prado, Monte Video ... 218 
 
 Plaza Matrix, Monte Video ... 220 
 
 " Heroes of Paysandu " ... 222 
 
 He and she 223 
 
 Monte Video 225 
 
 "Bricks and their mortar" ... 227 
 The Falls of Itamarati, near 
 
 San Paulo, Brazil 229 
 
 A " marked man " ... ... 231 
 
 Railway, Santos to San Paulo 235 
 
 Heroes rehearsing 237 
 
 Tne Monedas 239 
 
 Dear, kind, Papa 241 
 
 In the Organ Mountains, Rio 242 
 
 Botofogo Bay 244 
 
 Paneiras Railway, Corcovado, 
 
 Rio 246 
 
 An awful corner 247 
 
 Paneiras Hotel, Corcovado, 
 
 Kio 249 
 
 Rio de Janeiro, from the roads 252 
 Corcovado and the "Sugar 
 
 Loaf," Rio 256 
 
 Mouth of the Rio Bay, from 
 
 Santa Thereza Hill, Rio ... 257 
 
 The Gloria Church, Rio ... 258 
 
 Orchid-hunting 259 
 
 A " returned empty " 264 
 
 The shocker 266 
 
 Candidates for the Plaza " Vic- 
 toria Cross" 267 
 
 The Harbour, Bahia 268 
 
 Festa at Bahia 269
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS. 
 
 XXI 
 
 PAGE 
 
 Half dog, half bear 273 
 
 Bum-boats alongside the Clyde 276 
 
 Aspiring to the crown ... 277 
 Anchorage of Recife, Pernam- 
 
 buco 279 
 
 The Clyde's first shark ... 283 
 
 True and False Crosses ... 286 
 
 "Jacko" 287 
 
 A Catamaran ... ... ... 289 
 
 Dumfoundered 290 
 
 Premature ... ... ... 293 
 
 " Aif seas over, yer woshup" ... 291 
 
 " All I added was " ... 297 
 
 " So do not come there, if you 
 
 please!" 301 
 
 "Let me out!" 304 
 
 St. Vincent, Cape Verde Islands 309 
 
 The demonstration in force ... 312 
 
 " Romeo and Juliet " 316 
 
 Jack ashore, at Christmas ... 319 
 
 " The angel choir " and their 
 
 guardian 321 
 
 'Twixt love and duty. A com- 
 promise 325 
 
 Lisbon from the Tagus ... 327 
 
 " The soldier leant upon his 
 
 sword" 329 
 
 " Le jeu ne vaut pas les deux 
 
 chandelles" ... ... ... 331 
 
 " Me, mum ? I swum ashore ! " 333 
 
 " A tainted source " ... ... 336 
 
 Vigo. Lazaretto de Sau Simon 337 
 
 Vigo. General view of the Port 339 
 
 Lost! (H.M.S. Serpent) ... 340 
 
 A gallant rescue 344 
 
 The sliding scale 345 
 
 His watch ... 349 
 
 Home! 351 
 
 Map (showing the route of the 
 Clyde) at the end.
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 There is wisdom in the multitude of counsellors, but there 
 is also a limit beyond which their further augmentation 
 becomes embarrassing. Advertisements, for instance, are 
 counsellors who leave one more undecided after than before 
 the consultation. How on earth can a man choose with such 
 a heap of things to choose from ? And, worse than all, any- 
 little shred of a notion he may have had is swamped in the 
 whirlpool of information. 
 
 My thoughts have been led into this channel by a remem- 
 brance of the difficulty I found in planning my trip. My 
 first idea, greatly due to Mr. William Clark Eussell's charm- 
 ing description of his passage, was to take a run to the Cape. 
 But there were not enough breaks in that trip for me, so I 
 looked elsewhere. The West Indies, Mediterranean, Egypt, 
 etc., all these were weighed in turn, discarded, and — such 
 is our fickle nature — reconsidered, till one got as sick of the 
 voyage before it began as a cook of her dishes. 
 
 My plans were in this very chaotic condition, when a 
 friend brought me " The Cruise of the Falcon" a voyage to 
 South America in a thirty-ton yacht, by E. F. Knight, 
 Barrister-at-law. This delightful book soon turned my 
 thoughts in quite another direction — to the Brazils and the 
 Iiiver Plate.
 
 XXIV INTB OD VCTION. 
 
 Thus " where " was very soon in a fair way to being 
 solved, and the doctors having settled that the " when " was 
 to be at once, there remained only the " how." 
 
 It had been ascertained that the run to The Plate and 
 back would consume about two months. The next step was 
 to find out the cost, and something about the places touched 
 at, for what I needed was rest of a kind that should be 
 recreative. A long voyage with no stoppages would not serve 
 my purpose. 
 
 The Eoyal Mail Steam Packet Company's route to Buenos 
 Aires, offering variety of experience at the ports visited, 
 pleased me greatly. Vigo, Lisbon, St. Vincent, Pernambuco, 
 Bahia, Eio de Janeiro, Monte Video, and finally Buenos Aires, 
 were tempting sounds to a sick man in London in dreary 
 October. Why, one could rest all day and all night if one 
 chose, and taking sleep as it came, store it away in one's 
 nerves and tissues, and having fed them fully after their 
 long fast, lay by some store in case of further need. 
 
 The more I pondered on these things, the better the pros- 
 pect pleased me of a summer cruise through the Brazils, 
 while England lay wrapped in her mantle of snow. Home 
 for me ! if I had been free to choose ; and next to that a 
 yachting trip on a grand scale along the South American 
 coast. 
 
 From what I could learn from Anglo-Indians and other 
 friends, the Messageries Maritimes, whose vessels, starting 
 from Bordeaux, go over much the same ground as the Eoyal 
 Mail, ran them very close also in catering for the comfort of 
 passengers. Moreover, the Bordeaux route, it was said, offered 
 the additional advantage of an escape from some of the terrors 
 of the Bay of Biscay, though, as some one has aptly put it, 
 " 'tis not the rocky Bay you fear so much as the rocky ship."
 
 INTRODUCTION. XXV 
 
 An important consideration to an invalid on his first ocean 
 voyage. 
 
 All this about the Bordeaux route I afterwards found was 
 nonsense. In exchange for the open ocean rollers of the 
 Royal Mail route from Ushant to Finisterre, you have the 
 enclosed, pitching, chopping, food-churning breakers from 
 Bordeaux to the latter cape. If some sort of pedometer could 
 be worn by two passengers, one going by the one route, and 
 the other by the other, it would be found, I think, to record 
 far more shakes from Bordeaux than from Ushant to Finis- 
 terre. Smaller and more disagreeable shakes ; for the 
 annoyance a wave causes is, I have learned, in inverse 
 proportion to its size. So far then this route seemed " no 
 great shakes." 
 
 Another feature of the French route, however, though it 
 was not of moment to me, would weigh with a man in health 
 — the greater variety of experience afforded by the overland 
 travelling to Bordeaux. The point is worth consideration ; 
 but to my mind the great recommendation of the French 
 boats was the food. The dainty snacks, so tempting to a 
 fastidious palate ; coffee, and a little roll in bed—" roll in 
 bed " is a bit ambiguous, but let it pass — midday lunch, and 
 French dinner at seven or half-past. However, on reckoning 
 it up, I found the French prices for second-class equal to, if 
 not a little more than, the Boyal Mail's ordinary first-class, 
 the passage-money for which is fifty guineas to Buenos Aires 
 and back. 
 
 It should here be explained that on board the French boats 
 first and second-class passengers use the same dining-saloon, 
 and are treated in every way alike, except as to sleeping 
 accommodation, the first-class cabins being in the best parts 
 of the ship.
 
 XXVI INTRODUCTION. 
 
 So far the pro's and con's of the French route were about 
 equally balanced ; but as my informants were mostly Anglo- 
 Indians, and could only speak from their knowledge of the 
 Messageries Maritimes in the East, the question of route was 
 kept open till the last. And it was well it was so, as things 
 turned out, though I barely escaped the proverbial fall that 
 threatens the man " between two stools." 
 
 The Eoyal Mail Steam Packet Company's new ship, the 
 Clyde, a magnificent vessel, was announced to leave South- 
 ampton for Buenos Aires on October 23rd, This was only 
 her second voyage, her maiden trip having been made but 
 three months before, July 31st, 1890, to the same place. 
 As she was advertised 5645 tons burden, and 7000 horse- 
 power, and was clearly therefore one of their largest vessels, 
 my friends never dreamt there would be any difficulty in 
 booking a passage for me, and so October 20th dawned before 
 application was made at the Company's head office in Moor- 
 gate Street. (This well-nigh wrecked me before starting. 
 At least,, so I see it now ; for though, doubtless there are 
 other splendid vessels on this line, as well officered and 
 equipped, to me the Clyde is> and. must ever remain, facile 
 princeps.) 
 
 As may be supposed, then, our surprise was great on 
 learning, three days before her departure, that not a 
 berth was to be had. The huge Clyde, capable of carrying a 
 thousand people, was full ! It will astonish no student of 
 human nature to be told that this news only made me keener 
 to go by the Clyde, and nothing else. Ill as I was, even 
 discomfort on that ship seemed preferable to luxury on any 
 floating palace that ever sailed the seas. 
 
 Luckily, it was found on further pressing the Moorgate 
 Street officials, that there was just one berth, a top one, as
 
 INTRODUCTION. XXVI 1 
 
 far as Lisbon — an ordinary first-class affair — and thence to 
 Buenos Aires, there was what is termed an extra first-class 
 top berth, at a cost of £3 15s. more. This or nothing was 
 all they had to offer. 
 
 Here, then, is how the case stood. Should I pay fifty 
 guineas plus £3 15s. for what seemed like mere disturbance 
 at Lisbon, or should I, for this was the alternative, wait 
 till November 4th, and go out in their next vessel, the 
 Moselle ? 
 
 By the way, there was something more than the mere 
 shifting of cabin at Lisbon. Thereafter I was to exchange 
 English society for Portuguese. It did seem hard to be 
 mulcted in £3 15s. extra for this. Such close quarters as 
 three in a cabin with any foreigners is disagreeable, but this 
 was exasperating. 
 
 It speaks well, therefore, either for my inherent obstinacy, 
 or for my intuitive admiration of the Clyde, that despite 
 all these drawbacks, ten minutes' thought settled the 
 question, and in five minutes more I had paid my £56 5s., 
 secured the two short leases of the vacant berths, and 
 pocketed my ticket to Buenos Aires and back, which in- 
 cluded the railway journey to and from Rosario de Santa Fe. 
 
 Don't let me be unfair to the Moselle. I have since known 
 many who have travelled by her, and speak as favourably of 
 her as I do of the Clyde. She is some 3000 tons burden, and 
 has electric light throughout, and, as there were far fewer 
 passengers, the comfort would have been proportionately 
 greater. But she was not starting for another twelve days, 
 and time was precious. Besides, she was going direct to The 
 Plate, and so the chief attraction, the coasting cruise from 
 Pernambuco to Buenos Aires, was wanting. 
 
 Here let me explain the fares. My outlay of £5G 5s. en-
 
 XXV111 JNTEODUCTION. 
 
 titled me to a first-class berth to Lisbon, and an extra first- 
 class thence to the end of the voyage out ; and on the return 
 journey to a first-class berth only. For the single journey 
 the charge is £35 ordinary first-class, and £5 more for extra 
 first-class. The return first-class is £52 10s., i.e. a fare-and- 
 a-half. The return extra first-class is £60. 
 
 As a rule the first-class cabins are amidships, and being 
 the inner of two rows have no outlet to the sea. The extra 
 first-class are forward in the bows, and farther removed 
 from the heat and noise of the engines ; and as there is but 
 one row of them, the occupants have the undoubted advan- 
 tage of air through the port. But any one to whom the 
 difference of fare is an object, will find the first-class cabins 
 quite good enough. I should have taken a berth in one of 
 them myself if I could have got it, but I couldn't. 
 
 As it may interest some to know exactly how the £100 
 was laid out, I append a summary of the actual expendi- 
 ture : — 
 
 COST OF TRIP 
 
 {From start to finish). 
 
 Two suits grey flannel at 34s. (trousers and jacket only) 
 
 Four pyjama suits at 4s. 9d. ... 
 
 Two caps for deck use 
 Boating shoes (canvas) ... 
 
 Two flannel shirts at 8.?. M. 
 
 Two silk and wool ditto at 10s. 10 
 
 Total cost of outfit required to supplement ordinary wardrobe ... 6 16 
 Eeturn ticket per Eoyal Mail S.S. Company to Buenos Aires 
 
 and tack (inclusive of rail to Kosario de Santa Fe'), i.e. 
 
 "extra" first-class one way and "ordinary" the other ... 56 5 
 
 Liquor bill (each way £3) 6 
 
 Carried forward ... 69 1 
 
 £ s. 
 
 d. 
 
 3 8 
 
 
 
 19 
 
 
 
 3 
 
 
 
 9 
 
 
 
 17 
 

 
 INTRODUCTION. XXIX 
 
 Gratuities — Cabin Steward 
 
 „ Dining Saloon Steward 
 
 „ Bath Steward 
 
 Boots Steward 
 
 Cost of going on shore — 
 
 Lisbon (staying the night) and visiting Cintra 
 
 St. Vincent (Verde Islands) and tips to the divers 
 
 Pernambuco 
 
 Bahia (staying the night) 
 
 Rio de Janeiro (staying the night) 
 
 Monte Video 
 
 
 
 £ «. d. 
 
 Brought forward 
 
 £ s. a. 
 
 69 1 
 
 (each way) 
 
 i 
 
 10 
 10 
 10 
 5 
 
 
 2X2 5 = 4 10 
 
 1 
 
 10 
 
 1) 
 
 
 
 5 
 
 
 
 
 
 10 
 
 
 
 1 
 
 
 
 
 
 1 
 
 10 
 
 
 
 
 
 10 
 
 
 
 5 5 5 5 
 
 Ten days in Buenos Aires at Hotel l'Universelle (bed 
 
 and breakfast only) 5 
 
 Lunch and dinners at Cafe' Filip opposite hotel ... 2 10 
 
 Rosario de Santa Fe' — Hotel bill 10 
 
 Sight - seeing, liquors, travelling, laundress' fees, 
 
 etc. 3 
 
 II 10 11 10 
 
 1 10 
 
 
 
 2 
 
 It 
 
 9 
 
 
 
 5 
 
 
 
 5 10 
 
 
 
 ;ioo 
 
 
 
 Bio de Janeiro (staying the night on Corcovado) ... 
 
 Cab and Rail between London and Southampton, each way £1 
 
 Dock fees 
 
 Porterage of luggage to and from vessel at Buenos Aires and 
 
 Southampton 
 
 Mementoes of places touched at, say 
 
 Some friends on board had books descriptive of Brazil and 
 the Plate district, and at the Buenos Aires Club there were 
 many similar works, all of which I found both helpful and 
 interesting. For the convenience of such of my readers as 
 may wish to know more of the places visited, I conclude 
 these introductory remarks with a list of the authors whose 
 names I noted, together with the titles of their books so far 
 as I have been able to verifv them :
 
 XXX 
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 Author's Name. 
 
 Gallenga, A. ... 
 Hassaurck, F. 
 
 Herbert, Henry 
 
 narvon) 
 Hincbcliff, T. W, 
 Marcoy, Paul . . . 
 
 Mulhall 
 
 Murray 
 Napp, E. 
 Waterton, C. ... 
 
 (Ear 
 
 1 of Car- 
 
 Title of Book. 
 
 South America. 
 Four Years among Spanish 
 Americans. 
 
 Portugal and Galicia. 
 South American Sketches. 
 Journey across South 
 
 America. 
 Handbook of Brazil. 
 Travels in Uruguay. 
 Argentine Republic. 
 Wanderings in South 
 
 America.
 
 " Farewell ! " 
 
 A WINTER CRUISE IN SUMMER SEAS. 
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 
 
 By noon on October 23rd, the special train leaving Waterloo 
 at 9.45 a.m. had delivered us and all our belongings at the 
 Southampton Docks. The usual first-class single fare is 
 16s. 6^., but on presenting a voucher from the Eoyal Mail 
 Company, you get your ticket for lis., and as many return 
 tickets as you like for your friends, at 16s. 6d. each. 
 
 It was a bitterly cold morning, and I was glad to find 
 that less than an hour sufficed to pass us all through the 
 docks (at a cost to me of 4s. 6d. only, i.e. Is. 6d. for each of 
 
 B
 
 BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 my three boxes) and put us on board the tender which was 
 waiting alongside the quay. 
 
 To reach the Clyde, which was lying some two miles out 
 in Southampton Water, did not take many minutes, and 
 before two o'clock we were all lunching on board this 
 comfortable vessel in company with the officers of the ship. 
 Another tender had yet to arrive with more passengers, 
 luggage, and the mails ; but no time could have been lost, 
 for by 3.45 p.m. all had embarked; the last good-byes had 
 been said ; the bell had sounded for visitors to quit the ship, 
 and as they trooped reluctantly down the gangway to the 
 tender, the signal was given to " weigh anchor." 
 
 Sad to see were some of the partings, and I could not 
 help thinking how much more merciful would have been a 
 farewell on the quay, or better still at Waterloo. On such 
 occasions, one is driven either to philosophy or sentiment, 
 and the latter being my besetting vice, my only chance lay 
 in quoting philosophical platitudes, and pretending to believe 
 them. How well I can recall some of the faces of those who 
 were being torn apart by the Clyde and the tender. " Ah ! " 
 T almost chuckled to myself, " I wisely took my farewells 
 at Waterloo. Thank goodness, all mine are over ! " 
 
 And then I fell-to musing thus : — Here are the wealthy 
 bringing their dear ones with them, and so drinking the 
 very dregs of suffering, while that poor nursemaid we saw 
 hanging n her sorrowing mother's neck at Waterloo and 
 kissing her tears away, has got all her troubles over. There 
 she stands, now happy and smiling, as, only to be like the 
 rest, she waves her handkerchief and cries " good-bye " at 
 the top of her merry voice to the tender-full of friends that 
 are drifting away. And there, close beside her, droops her 
 mistress on her young husband's shoulder, sobbing her heart-
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 
 
 aches in his loving ear. Ah, little nursemaid, you and I 
 are spared all that ! 
 
 But what's this nasty swelling in my throat, and what 
 are those dewdrops on the baby's dimpled cheek as the 
 little nurse snatches kiss after kiss, and hugs her mistress' 
 bundle of love in a close embrace ? Oh, I know ; she's cold 
 of course, poor child, and so am I. This comes of not 
 taking my accustomed glass of sherry with my lunch. I'll 
 go and get it. If I were not a philosopher, I could almost 
 wish that some one had come to see the last of me. But 
 I am,. 
 
 5 p.m. — The sea is smooth, but there is a good deal of 
 mist in the air which seems freshening. Ominous gulls are 
 following us, and the pilot says an in-coming vessel this 
 morning brought news of a stiff gale in the Bay of Biscay. 
 
 Well, I managed to make a fair lunch, and if it should 
 prove to be my dinner, I shall do very well. After all, in 
 the midst of so much that is new — the ship, the people, the 
 busy life, everything — mere food counts for very little. 
 
 This fiction was prepared for a possible contingency which 
 most of us foresee, but few express — express in words, that 
 is, for there is a sort of facial volapiik language that tells 
 what our lips fain would hide — and hence there is, at first, 
 a solemnity about the demeanour on ship-board, that is 
 begat of fear. A smile may be occasionally indulged, but 
 not repeated too often. It is looked upon at such times as 
 presumptuous, and should such a smiler be seen going to 
 his cabin, the verdict of all would be " mal de mcr " — with 
 the rider " serve him right ! " 
 
 I tried a small smile on one portly old gentleman, just 
 to see how he would take it, but it was such a ghastly 
 failure that I had, by a great effort, to keep it there during
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 our few moments' conversation. This device answered, 
 and I could see his stern expression relax, as he gradually 
 became convinced that it was not bravado, but a natural 
 deformity. 
 
 But, alas ! he found me out soon after. We had chatted 
 rather longer than usual, and, getting tired, I dropped the 
 
 little smile I had worn so 
 long, just for a rest. I saw his 
 countenance change, and tried 
 to replace the thing. Too 
 
 /' L^^*tir*Zmt\ \ ^ e * ^ stammered, blushed, 
 
 coughed, sneezed, clutched at 
 the rigging for support, brought 
 myself up with a round-turn, 
 faced the spot where erstwhile 
 his portly figure had bent to 
 
 me in patient audience. He 
 
 "The smile fell off." 
 
 was gone ' 
 
 Here ended my first imposture, and at the time I 
 remember vowing it should be my last. For, I argued, if a 
 man can't sport a small artificial smile like that — a thing 
 one might wear at a funeral — without its falling off like 
 a false moustache, he had better not enter for heavier 
 business. 
 
 But I had learnt something from my companion — we 
 were not going to touch at Vigo, as had been announced in 
 the company's itinerary; for, owing to the prevalence of 
 cholera in Spain, if we put in at Vigo, we should be quaran- 
 tined at Lisbon, where we were to embark some five hundred 
 Portuguese emigrants. From him, too, I gathered the 
 meaning of quarantine. It matters little to passengers not 
 disembarking, though on a voyage every one likes to break
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 
 
 the journey, and to see whatever there is to be seen. But 
 to those destined for the quarantine port, the discomfort is 
 great, unless they have a fancy for crowded quarters in a 
 lazaretto, on meagre rations, at from ten to twelve shillings 
 a day, during the period of their quarantine sentence. 
 
 5.25 p.m. — Off the Needles. The hull and masts of the 
 Irex, a brigantine steamer till they removed her spars, are 
 dimly visible as she lies ashore with a rock through her 
 bottom, at the base of the southernmost " needle," so to say. 
 She has laid here since last Christmas. I am not aware 
 that the remark applies to her case, but, from all I ean hear, 
 the festivities on or about the 25th of December have much 
 to answer for. 
 
 The half-hour dressing-bell for dinner has just sounded. 
 Black coats, waistcoats, and ties, are de rigueur, I find, so I 
 must to my cabin and delve for them. It is a hunt-the- 
 slipper sort of business, this dressing for dinner first day 
 outward bound. No one knows exactly where to put his 
 hand on the things wanted There are. three of you in about 
 seven cubie feet of spaee, and 
 you have two boxes or port- 
 manteaus apiece. Each has one 
 of them half-full on the floor, 
 and the rest of the contents 
 spread for convenience around 
 him. 
 
 Where the three men stand, 
 how they get into their own 
 clothes, or into any clothes at all, 
 is a mystery which every one in time solves for himself, but 
 never can explain to another. It's like trying to describe 
 how you got over a five-barred gate when the bull was after 
 
 " Beg pardon ; that's my coat."
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 you. You've got to do it — that's all you know at the time, 
 and all you can recall afterwards is, that you did it. 
 
 And now for a confidence that I hope won't go any 
 further. Whether it was the stooping about in the close 
 cabin, or the grim forebodings of the approaching bay, one 
 man on board (I will never divulge his sacred name) fore- 
 went the dinner, and I (out of sympathy) kept him company 
 on the upper or promenade deck. He ate nothing, poor 
 fellow ; and to avoid the slightest contrast, I did the same. 
 He felt that " we eat a great deal too much as a rule ; " that 
 " one good meal a day is plenty." 
 
 He submitted a motion, in fact, embodying these sentiments, 
 which I seconded, adding, that I presumed all on board had 
 breakfasted and lunched heartily, and that the man who 
 needed anything more was a guzzler and a cormorant. This 
 was carried amid acclamation. But whether it was the 
 calmness of the sea, or the freshness of the breeze, or the 
 savoury odours from below, suffice it to say, we suddenly 
 agreed upon another motion — we went down, and joined the 
 " cormorants " — late, it is true, but still in time for a snack 
 of pudding, fruit, and a glass of wine, which we took in some 
 vacant seats near the door ; and so I had my first leisurely 
 view of the ample proportions of the saloon. 
 
 This is situated one deck lower, on what is called the 
 spar-deck. Along both sides of it are comfortably broad, 
 softly upholstered seats. Down the middle, from end to end, 
 runs the main table, to seat thirty people, the Captain 
 presiding at the bows — behind him a fine American organ 
 with sideboards to right and left of it — and the Chief Officer 
 at the stern end, with, at his back, a noble sideboard extend- 
 ing from the starboard to the port entrance. 
 
 At intervals, and placed at right angles to this table, on
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 
 
 either side of it, are six smaller tables, capable of seating 
 eight people each. Over the fourth table down from the 
 Captain, the Chief Engineer presides to starboard and the 
 Doctor to port — while the Purser does the honours at 
 the third table on the starboard side. These are the only 
 officers that dine with the passengers in this saloon, the 
 dimensions of which (of the saloon, not the officers) I 
 afterwards found, by stepping it, were forty-five feet by 
 twenty- four feet, the whole being lighted by thirty-two 
 electric lamps of sixteen candle-power each. The menu may 
 as well be given here j ust as it appeared on each table. 
 
 MENU. 
 
 Soup. Salad. 
 
 Ox tail. Mixed. 
 
 Consomme Maccaroni. Vegetables. 
 
 Fish. Boiled Potatoes, Cabbage, 
 
 Cod and Oyster Sauce. Baked Potatoes. 
 
 Entrees. Corky and RrcE. 
 
 Cotelettes Jardinieres. FowI - 
 
 Pommes de Terre a la Cieme. Pastry. 
 
 Poulet Saute. Apple Pudding, Madeira Cake, 
 
 Chasseur. Jam Sandwich. 
 
 Joints. Dessert. 
 
 Boast Beef. Almonds and Raisins, Oranges, 
 
 Boiled Mutton. Apples, Filberts, and Figs. 
 
 But these details were varied every day throughout the 
 voyage, changes being frequent in the dishes and in the 
 fruits and vegetables which we got fresh at every port we 
 touched. Indeed, this applies to all sorts of provisions, and 
 to my mind it is one of the chief advantages of this trip that 
 no ports being more than five days apart, the commissariat 
 can be constantly replenished. 
 
 After dinner, some took " a constitutional " up and down 
 the hurricane or promenade deck, which is nearly 110 yards 
 long, so that eight times to and fro gives you a mile walk.
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 The constitutional." 
 
 Others adjourned to cards, in the very fair-sized smoking- 
 room, wisely placed well aft or "abaft the funnel," as the 
 
 smoking place is called on 
 the Thames boats. Others 
 again, like myself, paired 
 off with a friend for a sit- 
 down, a blow, and a chat. 
 At the time the dinner- 
 bell went, we were off 
 Purbeck Island with the 
 Anvil Light on our — I 
 must try and be nautical 
 — starboard quarter. 
 
 It is now 9.30 and we 
 are off the Portland coast. 
 Ushant about noon to- 
 morrow, they say — and then ! I must turn in and prepare 
 for it. 
 
 October 24th. — Still intent on preparing for the bay, I 
 lay in my bunk till 7.30. Then, after a tepid salt-water 
 bath, I proceeded, also in view of that event, to line my in- 
 terior with porridge, sole, chop, and fruit. Now, if we reach 
 (suggestive phrase) Ushant before lunch, I am prepared. 
 
 Of my two cabin companions, the 
 one on the far side was on his way 
 from Yorkshire to Lisbon, the other 
 in the bunk beneath mine was our 
 new consul to the Portuguese capital. 
 My bed was of wire webbing, soft 
 and yielding as a spring mattress, 
 and I think I should have slept well, but for a loud- 
 dreaming companion, whose mind seemed to run all night on 
 
 "I wish you wouldn't 
 dream so loud."
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 
 
 anchoring at Lisbon, and whose laboured breathing sounded 
 exactly like the running of the cable. 
 
 We tried coughing, singly and together, speaking to one 
 another and to him, shouting, dropping things on the floor, 
 all in vain, for as fast as we woke him up he was off again, 
 and letting go his anchor just the same three minutes after ! 
 " Sir ! sir ! you're on your back again — would you mind 
 turning over ? " To which, always in good humour, the poor 
 dreamer would reply, "Thank you, gentlemen, for waking 
 me ; I am very sorry. I hope 
 you'll not hesitate to stop me 
 whenever I snore;" and lie 
 would turn on his side there- 
 upon, as obediently as a child. 
 But waking another man up 
 does not give you a night's 
 rest, and neither of us slept 
 except in snatches. Our night's 
 rest was more of a conversazione; indeed, at many a con- 
 versazione I have slept better. 
 
 This morning we found, what with luggage loose about the 
 floor, and clothes on the beds and hanging round the cabin 
 in all directions, there was not much space for washing at 
 the nice little shut-up basins, of which, by the way, there 
 were but two for three persons. We all therefore did this 
 part of the business in the lavatories attached to the 
 beautiful baths, which were of marble. For gentlemen there 
 are four of these baths, all of which are fitted with hot and 
 cold water. 
 
 It is a lovely morning, sunny, and so -warm on deck, that 
 I have to discard some of my London wraps ; and the sea is 
 as calm as the Thames at Waterloo Bridge. 
 
 A conversazione.
 
 10 
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 I have just learnt the ship's bells. Half-past twelve 
 (noon) is one bell ; increasing one every half-hour, four 
 o'clock is eight bells ; then come the two " dog-watches " of 
 two hours instead of four, thus making seven watches in the 
 twenty-four hours instead of six. This is done, so as to vary 
 the periods or spells of duty for each man each day. The 
 first dog-watch is from four to six o'clock, which is four 
 bells, and the second is from six to eight o'clock, when, 
 instead of sounding four bells (perhaps to make it tally with 
 the hour), they sound eight. There is no other break, the 
 bells going night and day every half-hour, from one bell to 
 eight bells, with the utmost regularity. 
 
 The sounding of them devolves on the quarter-masters, 
 and, strange as it may seem, this simple act requires a 
 musical ear ; for, by nautical traditions, a distinct interval 
 must be allowed after every two strokes. Thus, three bells 
 is sounded 1, 2 — 3 ; four bells, 1, 2 — 3, 4, and so on. It 
 not infrequently happens, I am told, that a man fitted in all 
 other respects, fails to pass in this trifling test, and is dis- 
 qualified. Hence, like the soldier, part of a sailor's education 
 consists in being able to " mark time " — with his hands. 
 
 Another ship's tradition requires that, at 
 the half-hour bell, the look-out man in the 
 bows, in proof of his watchfulness, shall 
 pass the word to the bridge " All's well ; " 
 and very impressive is this solemn benison, 
 as it faintly floats to you in the stillness 
 of the night. How many a gallant vessel 
 must have gone to her doom, with these 
 brief words, so full of hope, sounding at 
 once her knell and requiem ! 
 It is eleven o'clock, and they have just fetched out the 
 
 "All's well! :
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 11 
 
 materials for playing " bull," a game greatly in favour on 
 ship-board — combining sufficient interest, with even more 
 than sufficient exercise. It consists of a sort of huge, sloping 
 chess-board with numbered squares, at which loaded pads 
 are thrown from a distance ; and, of course, the highest score 
 wins. What with the throwing, the walking, and the stoop- 
 ing, you find that a little of this sort of thing goes a long 
 way — and so do you. If you notice your calves after a few 
 days of this pastime, you will see how very appropriate the 
 name " bull " is. 
 
 Noon. — Yonder lies the island of Ushant, with its 
 ominous cape. We are in the Bay of Biscay ! whose horrors 
 Sims Eeeves' voice has done so much to depict. It is 
 absolutely as calm as a lake ! Not a wave has a white 
 crest to it; indeed, there is scarcely a wave to be seen. 
 Eollers, there are, it is true, but as they glide broadside 
 on to the Clyde and sweep under her keel, they scarcely 
 disturb the even tenour of her way. At the bulwarks, you 
 can detect, now and then, a faint heave like the sigh of a 
 sleeping swan ; but in the saloon she is as steady as a rock. 
 
 And this is the great bay of disasters, the sepulchre 
 of a thousand ships ! Oh, what a thing fear is ! Where 
 is that " portly old gentleman " — we had already dubbed him 
 P.O.G-. "Pog" for shortness — who shied so, at my poor 
 little smile ? " The Ides of March are come ! " — " But not 
 yet gone." Unberufen ! as the Germans say. Long ago, a 
 young German doctor was good enough to explain to me 
 the meaning of this warning word. It was, he told me, an 
 expression deprecative of bragging. " For instance," said 
 he, " if a wasp-waisted lady were to tell me she had never 
 felt any ill-effects from tight-lacing, the monition, unberufen ! 
 would rise unbidden to my lips, and I should probably add
 
 12 
 
 HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 as a free translation : — ' Beware, for all that, my dear madam ! 
 You may burst to-day and die to-morrow ! ' " A translation 
 for the lady indeed, thought I. But feeling sure he was 
 too polite to mean what he distinctly said, I pressed him 
 further, and was relieved to find that burst was only his 
 pronunciation of boast. ITnberufen ! then, I discovered 
 (literally, uncalled for, unnecessary) means simply boast not. 
 
 Ah! here comes Pog, and he is smoking — that looks 
 auspicious ; and talking, for him, quite animatedly. Yes, 
 there's no possible doubt whatever, that was a distinct 
 smile. So was that, as he knocked the ash from his cigar — 
 and rather a loud one. Now, if only he doesn't put the 
 wrong end in his mouth, we are saved ! Hurrah ! at last 
 the ghost of the grim bay is laid! He can laugh now, for 
 he has looked in the very teeth the spectre that affrighted 
 him, and found it nothing but a sheet, and a turnip with a 
 candle inside. 
 
 Just see how all the faces have ehanged on board ! They 
 
 " Begone, dull care." 
 
 are, I declare, as broad to-day as they were long yesterday ; 
 and in every corner of eye and mouth, the strings are 
 loosening that restrain mirth on board a bark that is bound 
 for the billowy bay. Just a few solos like Pog's to start 
 us, and very soon we shall all be laughing in chorus. 
 Henceforth good-bye to care and sorrow, all faces shall 
 be wreathed in smiles, and as the tropie beauties creep
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 
 
 13 
 
 around us and we float under the summer skies that woo 
 them into life, our spirits shall expand, and, forgetting for 
 a time the cold grey of old England, we shall lave our limbs 
 in the sun-bath of the lovely lands- that lie just over there 
 beyond the seas. 
 
 The daily noon-tide notice has just been posted outside 
 the music saloon. It reads to-day " October 24th. Lat. 
 47° 36' N". ; long. 6° 3' W. Eun, 273 miles. J, Douglas 
 Spooner, Capt." I'll have my game of " bull " before lunch. 
 
 1 p.m. — " Bull " is a trifle too fatiguing at present for 
 me ; I think the form in which he is served at lunch will 
 suit me better. Ah ! there's the bell — we'll try. 
 
 3 p.m. — My place has been permanently allotted to me 
 in the dining-saloon. Finding a vacant seat at the end 
 of the Chief Engineer's 
 table, I modestly took it. 
 The president of this 
 table I cannot mention 
 too soon, for his friend- 
 ship and hospitality at 
 least doubled my enjoy- 
 ment. Let me here record 
 his name in full — John 
 Kemp Ritchie. We chummed from the moment I sat down 
 with him, and before the meal was over he had invited me 
 to the vacant seat by his side, where I sat the voyage through. 
 A stout, middle-aged, round-faced, bright-eyed man, with a 
 heart as big as his body, and a cheery laugh that did more 
 than " cocktail " or sauce could do, to season the meal. 
 
 Moreover, he had travelled much and could spin you 
 wondrous yarns. He met you in the morning with a 
 welcoming smile, and his kindly "good-night" had some- 
 
 A tete-a-tete.
 
 14 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 thing so solid in it, so reassuring, that one could have gone 
 to one's berth in the worst weather secure and at perfect 
 peace. There was such strength, too, in his sturdy hand ; it 
 seemed almost a part of the giant whose body, far down in 
 the fiery depths below, was busy sculling this leviathan 
 through the sea. The reins of seven thousand horses lay 
 in that hand; no word, no blow was needed, only a touch 
 of that rein, and they walked, trotted, cantered, or galloped, 
 and never once stumbled, or fell, grazed a knee, or shed 
 a shoe ! 
 
 As I write, friend Eitchie, your seven thousand iron 
 steeds are pawing the ground, neighing, and champing the 
 bit, as once again they sniff the scent of the arena, and 
 gird themselves for another struggle. There is no need to 
 say, " Peace and joy go with you," for they are ever your 
 inseparable companions. 
 
 Thanks to this kindly Jehu, I this afternoon made the 
 acquaintance of the engines and learnt something of the 
 grand ship they were driving. Here are some of the dimen- 
 sions, weights, etc. In length the Clyde is 437 ft. ; in 
 width 50 ft. Her hold is 33 ft. deep : her draft 22 ft. 
 From the hold upwards, come in order the main, spar, 
 and promenade decks. On the main deck are cabins to 
 accommodate upwards of two hundred first-class passengers, 
 and there is no gangway round. In the centre of this deck 
 is a small dining saloon capable of seating about twenty-five 
 people. 
 
 In the fore part of the spar-deck is the principal dining 
 saloon, before described, outside of which runs a broad 6 ft. 
 gangway which is continued aft on either side of the engines. 
 
 Here, on the starboard side, are most of the officers' quarters 
 — the purser's, doctor's, chief engineer's, fourth and fifth
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 
 
 15 
 
 mate's and second engineer's, etc., while on the port side are 
 the chief steward and his belongings. 
 
 Above, on the promenade deck, is the music saloon, corre- 
 sponding with the dining saloon ; forward of the music saloon 
 is the captain's cabin, 
 commanding an uninter- 
 rupted view of the bows ; 
 
 ^ 
 
 In the clouds. 
 
 
 behind the music saloon 
 the ladies' private saloon, 
 some 12 ft. square, and 
 the first and second offi- 
 cers' cabins athwart ships; 
 then come the smoke 
 stacks and the smoking- 
 room, of fair size with star- 
 board and port entrance, 
 and fitted with round marble tables, chairs, and cushioned 
 seats along each side. 
 
 Aft of this comes the main-hatch, on a level with the 
 spar-deck, where the emigrants and so-called " steerage 
 passengers " take the air, though some are allowed in a 
 similar place on the same deck forward of the captain's 
 cabin. Then, further aft, comes the second-class part of the 
 ship, much like the first, but on a smaller scale, and not 
 quite so sumptuously fitted, while from the one class to the 
 other run, on either side of the ship, connecting bridges on 
 a level with the promenade deck. 
 
 The Clyde and her engines were built by Napier and 
 Sons, of Glasgow, where, upon the river from which she 
 takes her name, her trial trip was made in June, 1890. Her 
 registered tonnage is 5645, and the indicated horse-power of 
 her engines is 7000.
 
 16 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 It interested me, and it may interest others to know- 
 some of the weights of her gear. She carries 2 bower 
 anchors, 2\ tons each, 2 Hingley's stockless ditto, 53 and 
 54f cwt., and there are 3 other spare anchors of smaller pro- 
 portions. Her 21 in. stud cable weighs 300 tons, and she 
 has 110 tons of stream chain, etc. The fore and mainmasts 
 together weigh 17 tons, and the mizzen 5£ tons, while the 
 stern frame in which the propeller works adds another 25 
 tons, and her rudder 10^ tons more. Her propeller, of 4 
 blades, each 10 ft., has a diameter of 20 ft., giving her a 
 stride or " pitch," I think is the technical term for it, of 
 30 ft. 6 in. 
 
 She is fitted with 10 water-tight bulkheads, 6 of which 
 come as high as the spar-deck ; her water-tanks carry 
 18,210 galls., and she has in all 354 sixteen-candle electric 
 lights. Her complement of officers and crew is 150 exactly, 
 i.e. 19 officers and engineers, 36 sailors, 53 stewards, 42 
 firemen. From another source (for such information is, for 
 some reason, not to be had from those on board) I learnt 
 that on this voyage, after leaving Lisbon, we were carrying 
 196 first-class passengers, 30 second-class, 576 third-class 
 or steerage, and 28 servants— all told, 830, which, plus the 
 officers and crew of 150, brought up our total to 980. 
 
 On my way to the engines I casually met my friend Pog, 
 looking a little "off colour." It seems some one had in- 
 cautiously mentioned the earthquake at Lisbon, without 
 giving the date 1755, and poor Pog's recent exhilaration 
 was falling rapidly. "It was just the way when I was 
 going to Naples, in 1884," he said; "Vesuvius, that had 
 been quiet for twelve years, must select that very time for 
 an eruption." " Yes," I observed, " I was there and saw 
 it: in fact, spent a night on the summit to observe it.''
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 
 
 17 
 
 ^n 
 
 Neighbours. " I just dropped in." 
 
 " Really ! " he ejaculated, " what risks some people can run. 
 I can't. Just now I sat down on another man's deck-chair, 
 only for a moment ; the leg 
 rest ran out, the back gave 
 way, and I only saved my- 
 self, by rolling sideways on 
 to a lady who was sleeping 
 in an adjoining chair. I 
 apologized, but she was very 
 much annoyed ; you see, sir, 
 I turn the scale at sixteen 
 stone. She muttered, 'a la 
 petard,' which I take it meant, God help me, that I should 
 be blown to pieces. What's worse, I broke my watch-glass, 
 and the minute-hand is sticking into my ribs." A friend 
 tells me that the exclamation which resembles Pog's version 
 of it, in sound but not in meaning, is very commonly used 
 by all classes of men, women, and children. It will not bear 
 translation, but, if any one is in want of an expletive to 
 use to a Spaniard, I can promise him "a la petard" will be 
 near enough, if only he will emphasize the last syllable. 
 
 My visit to the engines pleased me greatly. They were 
 indeed a grand sight — 7000 indicated and 1100 registered 
 horse-power, and costing, at the usual rate of £50 per horse 
 register, £55,000. The pace they got out of her on her 
 trial, and with perfect ease, was 17^ knots, and on her first 
 voyage she reached a top speed of 18 '8 knots. Worked by 
 a separate small machine in the same part of the engine 
 department, stands the dynamo which supplies all the electric 
 light, and the cautious Ritchie had therefore warned me 
 to leave my watch in his cabin before descending. One 
 visitor, he told me, declining to do so, had his watch-spring 
 
 c
 
 18 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 magnetised and permanently spoilt. Having gone slowly, 
 stage by stage, down the oily iron staircase, and wended 
 our way round, and into, and through the 
 wondrous engines, we next visited the 
 neighbouring Inferno where, stripped to 
 the waist, sopping wet, and ruddy in the 
 intense heat and glow, the firemen were 
 serving the ten huge furnaces. 
 
 It surprised me to find how beauti- 
 fully the air-shafts answered down here, 
 e Inferno." These men were actually supplied with 
 
 air as cool, fresh, and abundant as we on deck. But 
 what a sight it was, and what a contrast, this life below 
 to our life above ! How many, of the thousands who go 
 down to the sea in steamships, ever behold, or care to behold, 
 their motive power ? Why, we might be in a sailing ship, 
 for all one hears, on deck or in a saloon, about the engines. 
 Knots are occasionally mentioned, because the ship's daily 
 run depends upon the speed, and there are sweepstakes and 
 bets hingeing thereupon. And, now and then, you will see 
 a man, watch in hand, counting the screw's revolutions by 
 the throbs they produce in his foot. But he is looked upon 
 as a weird, uncanny person. Pog, indeed, pointed out to me 
 one so engaged, and muttered something about clockwork 
 and dynamite. 
 
 Leaving the workers below, and coming up once more 
 among my fellow drones, I noticed for the first time, just 
 outside the dining-saloon, a small drinking-bar. Here can 
 be obtained almost every kind of cocktail, wine, spirit, 
 liquor, beer, aerated water, or lemon-squash ; and this, too, 
 is the dispensary for all beverages required in the dining- 
 saloon. Every man writes his own prescription, and the
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 19 
 
 dose is brought him by the steward of his table. The bar- 
 keeper holds these checks and sends them to you in a 
 pile every week or so for payment. 
 
 On the Clyde s last outward voyage, I heard, the 
 champagDe bill alone was £400. The company, 
 I suppose, takes the profit on these sales, and it 
 must be considerable, for, though they of course 
 pay no duty, the charges are much the same as 
 on shore. Not that I begrudge it them by any 
 means ; they must get dividends somehow, and 
 it is better that the profit should come out of 
 the wines than out of the fares. Better to tax 
 
 luxuries than necessaries. But oh, the time The 8 la88 is 
 
 rising, 
 some of the young men devoted to "breaking 
 
 their chests " over that bar. 
 
 From one of these young fellows, a light-hearted lad, I 
 heard a funny thing about Pog. Finding him, shortly after 
 we had gone below, busily hunting for the minute hand, this 
 young fellow offered his services, and soon, of course, found 
 the thing loose in Pog's waistcoat pocket. Seeing his way 
 to some fun, the finder, without acknowledging the find, 
 suggested a visit to the powerful magnets in the dynamo 
 below. After some demur, Pog consented to go, and as 
 they stood a few feet from the thing, a confederate — to whom 
 the tiny pointer had been passed — stepping forward, with a 
 " What's this ? " pretended to pick it off the machine. They 
 tell me Pog's face was a study. For one moment he smiled 
 an astonished smile, and then, fearful what this unknown 
 power might next achieve, was seen making the best sixteen- 
 stone time on record up the slippery stairs, holding on to 
 his money in both trousers pockets all the way. 
 
 Poor Pog ! What fun we had, getting him seriously to
 
 20 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 recount this miracle (" Hey ! Presto ! It was done in a second, 
 sir ! ") to every new-comer, while we listened, in agonies 
 from the wrigglings of our guilty consciences, and in 
 horrible fear lest we should laugh, betray ourselves, and 
 
 spoil all. 
 
 During dinner I made the acquaintance of a Mr. Einger, 
 who had been all over and round the world, and was now 
 bound for Eio on business. I am much indebted to this 
 gentleman for frequent kindnesses and much useful informa- 
 tion. To the knowledge of a very well-informed man, he 
 added the rare power of imparting it without making you 
 feel you were being taught. We went to Eitchie's cabin, 
 and yarns were spun. 
 
 He told us a strange story of a man he met long ago 
 in Pernarabuco, in the grounds of an hotel. They exchanged 
 names, and all went well till Mr. Einger asked if the other 
 was related to a certain family. Fencing the question, the 
 stranger in a moment or so left abruptly, and they never 
 spoke again, though they often passed each other, and on 
 these occasions it was astonishing to note the number of 
 different suits of jewellery the mysterious stranger wore. A 
 different set for every day in the week— diamonds, sapphires, 
 rubies, emeralds, etc., and three or 
 four rings on each finger. Besides 
 these peculiarities he had his nails 
 stained black, " in mourning," as he 
 said, " for his darling wife." 
 
 At this time the man wore a long 
 
 "Good mo(ii)rning ! Have beard, but, many months after, Mr 
 
 Einger was shown a photograph, in 
 
 which, though there was no beard, he was able to recognize 
 
 the person by the hands. The outcome of this recognition
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 21 
 
 was, that the man was arrested in Lisbon (where he was 
 lying in quarantine) for a theft of two hundred thousand 
 dollars, and sentenced to ten years' penal servitude. 
 
 Also, this evening, I got acquainted with some others at 
 the Chief Engineer's table. Mv vis-a-vis was a Mr. Courtnev, 
 who was returning (after a holiday in England) to sheep-farm- 
 ing in the Argentine ; and on his left a Mr. Ollendorff, an 
 engineer, a native of Hamburg, similarly returning to Buenos 
 Aires, where he has been settled for some years. (Of both 
 these kind friends I saw much on board, and still more 
 during my stay in the Argentine.) 
 
 October 25th. — The snoring again spoilt our rest. There is 
 really no excuse for a man, who has a pair of socks to stick 
 in his mouth, monopolizing conversation in this way. 
 
 What ideal weather we are getting! No one on board, 
 that I can find, has ever crossed the bay in such a calm 
 sea. Every one is marvelling and cannot understand it. 
 Pog has just come along, letting off one of his malicious 
 little crackers, to the effect that when the bay is like this 
 you may look for bad weather between Lisbon and Las 
 Palmas. The fact is, there's just enough probability about 
 this prophesy to make it annoying. 
 
 It is noon, and we are in lat. 42° 44' N., and long. 9° 32' 
 W., and the run has been 330 miles. 
 
 Ah ! there at last are the " Portuguese men-of-war," as 
 the nautiluses are called. How pretty these little pink 
 convoys look in the bright sun ! They are to be seen in 
 large numbers, they tell me, in these latitudes in fine 
 weather. They used to be termed Argonauts, from the old 
 classical yarn about the good ship Anjo and her golden 
 freight. One likes to recall this fact, because it at least 
 lends the respectability of age, to a tradition which scientists
 
 22 
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 now brand as apocryphal, viz. the sailing powers of the 
 nautilus. He used to be supposed to put out oars as well, 
 and so " paddle his own canoe " — but that, one had to sur- 
 render. Now, the sailing fable must go, too, it seems — but it 
 is hard to part with this pleasing fiction. Pope believed 
 both, for he wrote — 
 
 "Learn oF the little nautilus to sail, 
 Spread the thin oar and catch the driving gale." 
 
 Kemorseless science, however, sticks at nothing. A 
 maiden's blush, it tells you, is merely " a sudden expansion 
 of the minute superficial capillaries" — the nautilus is 
 " driven by hydraulic pressure " — it breathes by " the passage 
 of water through its double gills," and " its ejection behind 
 and over them, drives the little body through the sea." 
 
 In appearance, the nautilus is a mass of silver, in which 
 floats a cloud of most beautiful rose-coloured spots. It is 
 marked, at one of the extremities, with a semi-circular band 
 of ultramarine blue which imperceptibly melts away. 
 
 5.30 p.m. — As the first dinner-bell sounds, the sun is 
 
 dipping into the sea — and, 
 
 one by one, the stars come 
 
 out to see him sink to 
 
 rest. Now he is just gone 
 
 below. " Gone below " 
 
 reminds me I must do the 
 
 same, and dress for dinner. 
 
 " How useful the sun is in 
 
 Sun-dried Virginia. many ways " — as I heard 
 
 a young lady patronizingly say in a boat, when the sun dried 
 
 her hands for her and saved her dainty handkerchief. 
 
 After dinner a Mr. Phillips, an Australian, spun us another 
 yarn. " Just as we were leaving Suez," said he, " a Ptussian
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 
 
 23 
 
 Count, in high silk hat and puggaree, top boots and silver 
 spurs, and carrying a very small bag, came hurriedly on 
 board, closely followed by two policemen. Presently, the 
 three went together ashore, and anon the Count returned, 
 minus his little bag which had been seized for debt. 
 
 " It seems, on the strength of having seen this incident, one 
 of the passengers, a very small man, insulted the Count, who, 
 proud though poor, promptly smacked his face. A challenge 
 followed, as a matter of course, but the challenger took good 
 care the Captain should hear of it. As may be supposed, the 
 thing was stopped — and the fire-eating Count, who was 
 always waylaying and threatening his unwilling antagonist, 
 was bound over to keep the peace. But all to no purpose ; 
 the small man still went, he said, in fear of his life ; so the 
 Captain, the little man, and I," said the narrator, " held 
 counsel together, and determined to get the Count ashore 
 at Malta, and lose him. 
 
 " So we did," said the teller of the story. " I managed 
 that. I got him to an hotel, stood him a dinner, and having 
 paid the bill, including, for very shame, 
 his bed for that night, I left him there, 
 hurried on board, and in five minutes 
 we were off. Poor fellow ! the last I 
 saw of him, he was waving his hand 
 from the shore as if to stop us. Too 
 late ! too late ! we were gone ! 
 
 " Not long after we had started, first 
 one and then another began to miss 
 watches and rings, and the Captain had 
 lost a cash-box and fifty pounds. My jewellery was safe ; all 
 I lost was a purse of about thirty sovereigns. As is always 
 the case, those who had lost least seemed to make the most 
 
 The challenge.
 
 24 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 to-do. The Captain and I scarcely exchanged a word on 
 the subject, nor did we trouble other people with our losses. 
 The Purser, knowing of the plan to ' lose ' the count, had 
 insisted on his paying his fare that morning, and had given 
 change out of a bad twenty-pound note. But when we three 
 victims went to work-off the few epithets we thought suitable 
 to the little man who had brought all this about, we found 
 he had missed the ship too. The Quarter-master had seen 
 him, also, appealing to us to fetch him from the shore. 
 
 " There was only one bit of comfort in the whole transac- 
 tion," said the yarner, finishing : — " To wit, an old friend of 
 mine on board, an omnivorous reader (who, on hearing of 
 my loss, had only remarked 'fools and their money'), found, 
 on going to his cabin, he had lost his gold spectacles. That 
 was the only piece of sugar in my gruel ! " 
 
 " I tell you what, gentlemen," said Pog, who always 
 summed up on these occasions, " in my opinion the men left 
 behind were confederates." 
 
 " Nonsense ! " we all chorused ; and Pog went off, finding 
 no words to express his contempt for our ignorance. 
 
 To bed at ten o'clock, to prepare for a tiring day to- 
 morrow. Two hours at any rate before the " cable-layer " 
 comes to bed. 
 
 October 26th (Sunday). — Slept much better, owing to a 
 discovery. A friend, hearing of our discomfort, came to our 
 cabin, last evening, with an extra blanket, which he pro- 
 ceeded to roll up like a sand-bag. Then, stripping the 
 delinquent's bunk, he laid this lengthways down the middle 
 and made the bed. The rise in the centre was only slight, 
 but he declared it was sufficient. " And now," said he, with 
 the proud air of a man who has solved a problem, " if that 
 man lies on his back to-night, I'll eat him and the bunk too."
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 
 
 25 
 
 However, we were spared this cannibal orgie, for the patient 
 seemed to hit on the sideways position right off, slept like a 
 top, and so did we. 
 
 7 a.m. — AVe are approaching the Tagus, and on our left is 
 the Rock of Lisbon backed by the Cintra Hills. The coast 
 is lined with groves of orange and olive, through which at 
 intervals glisten, in the morning sun, the white walls of many 
 a charming villa. Presently we enter the river, and are now 
 
 Belem Fort, Tagus. 
 
 but nine miles from Lisbon. The right bank of the Tagus is 
 crowded with palaces of all shapes and sizes, while the left 
 bank, outlined by an undulating pretty country, affords a 
 pleasant contrast as viewed from the ship, and a delightful 
 prospect, I should say, from the windows on the opposite 
 shore. A little further on we pass the fort of Belem, 
 possessing no particular architectural merit, but interesting, 
 all the same, because picturesquely irregular. 
 
 It is 7.45 a.m., and we are anchored off Lisbon, the run
 
 26 
 
 IIOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 from Southampton having occupied just sixty-four hours. 
 On a pinch, the Clyde could do the distance in fifty-two 
 hours, or less, but as we had not to touch at Vigo, and time 
 was therefore less precious than coal, the engines were 
 slowed down, from their favourite stride of sixteen knots, to 
 thirteen knots an hour only. Other things being equal, far 
 
 Praga do Rocio, Lisbon.^ 
 
 less coal is consumed in sixty-four hours at thirteen knots, 
 than in fifty-two hours at sixteen knots, though the distance 
 travelled is the same, viz. eight hundred and thirty-two 
 miles. It is the^acc that burns the fuel. As the sailor said, 
 who failed to walk two miles in half-an-hour — " It's the 
 pace that bothered me ; I knew I could do the distance all 
 right enough."
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 27 
 
 Anyway, we are here, and, what is more, the weather is 
 delightful, and the bright warm sun is working miracles 
 among the invalids. The city, sprinkled over the lofty hills 
 that rise abruptly from the very margin of the river, looks 
 daintily clean and bright, as if, for this particular occasion, 
 they had done it over with that stuff for "beautifying 
 everything." Like Rome, Lisbon, we are told, is seated upon 
 seven hills. I did not count them, but she seemed all hills 
 to me ; perhaps the seven are one on top of another. But, 
 unlike the city of the Cassars, she can be seen all the way up 
 the hills, from the fine broad river that runs beside her. 
 
 Prom the river to the hill-tops, and from east to west for 
 a sweep of fully four miles, the entire city is compassed by a 
 single glance, and the eye is stricken with admiration. " What 
 a happy thought it was of Nature's," as some observant boy 
 said long ago, " to make all the big rivers flow beside the 
 principal cities." Lisbon has a grand shop-window, but 
 without her broad water thoroughfare to exhibit the contents, 
 she would not have taken the third prize for situation in the 
 beauty show among European cities, where Constantinople 
 and Naples took first and second. 
 
 Local historians trace the foundation of Lisbon to 
 Abraham, and even fix the date at the year B.C. 3259. 
 Others claim Ulysses as its founder, and from him derive 
 the name Olyssipo, corrupted into Lisboa. From its original 
 possessors, the Turduli, it passed successively through the 
 hands of the Phoenicians and Carthagenians, coming 
 eventually under the sway of all-conquering Borne, and so 
 remaining till a.d. 409. 
 
 Julius Caesar is said to have conferred upon it the name 
 Felicitas Julia, together with the privileges of a municipium 
 or corporate town with particular laws. He seems also to
 
 28 
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 have conferred upon it a sort of monopoly in the production 
 of earthquakes, for Felicitas Julia has certainly obtained a 
 large share of whatever market there may be for those 
 productions. The " output," so to say, has however been 
 enormously in excess of the demand, on many occasions, 
 ranging over the period from 1069 to 1722. 
 
 But the period of its greatest activity was reached iu 1755. 
 On the 1st of November of that year, the entire city above- 
 ground was almost completely overturned, to make room for 
 an " output " unprecedented in the annals of mining enter- 
 prise. This led to a crisis in the trade ; those of the inhabi- 
 tants who were not interested in these mining operations, 
 being much put-out themselves, left the city in a body, 
 thoroughly disgusted, as well they might be. Some adjourned 
 to the marble quay, now the Praca do Commercio ; others 
 to the shipping in the river; while others, again, betook them- 
 selves to the banks of the Tagus — all to consider what 
 further measures they should adopt. The fatal concession 
 of Julius Csesar, however, was soon seen to extend to all 
 
 these places, for it appears 
 to have embraced not only 
 the site of the city, but the 
 entire bed of the Tagus. 
 
 The river was soon a 
 scene of blasting opera- 
 tions, fully as destructive 
 as those on shore. Along 
 the river banks, where 
 thousands had congre- 
 gated, the water, rising in 
 enormous waves, engulfed them every one. The marble 
 quay, with the multitudes sheltering there, sunk with them 
 
 The whirl]
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 
 
 29 
 
 all, and not a body was seen to rise from out that dread 
 abyss. Meanwhile, scores of vessels lying in the river, 
 packed from end to end with fugitives, were one after another 
 sucked down by the whirlpool, and never a waif of the ships, 
 or of their burden, rose up to mark the spot. It has been 
 estimated higher, I believe, but it is certain that, at the very 
 least, sixty thousand persons were swept away to instant 
 death, and two millions sterling lost. 
 
 England and Spain sent plentifully of money and aid of 
 every kind, but Lisbon, the Felicitas Julia, had practically 
 disappeared, and it was seriously contemplated to transfer the 
 seat of government to Eio Janeiro. 
 
 After breakfast, and while waiting for the launch for 
 shore, I amused myself watching the lighters come along- 
 side with the coal. They all seemed 
 to be manned by Irishmen; indeed, 
 one might have been in Dublin Bay, 
 so typically Irish were their faces. 
 They were all Portuguese, but they are 
 said to be descendants of some of the 
 men of Wellington's "Irish Brigade" 
 in the Peninsular War. Their employer, 
 the owner of the lighters, reminded me of " Tiger Tim," 
 "tallest of boys or shortest of men, etc.," except that, I'm 
 sure, he did not stand " in his stockings four-feet-ten," nor 
 four-feet-six either. All which notwithstanding, he was the 
 most conspicuous amongst his men, as he stood in the bows 
 of one of the boats, issuing his orders, without noise, but with 
 lightning speed of lip and hand. Never, in my life, have 
 I seen anything like it. He really seemed to be translating 
 all he said into the deaf and dumb language. Ritchie tells 
 me he has known this man for nearly twenty years, in 
 
 Senhor Dom Murphy.
 
 30 " BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 which time he has possessed himself of boat after boat, and 
 scraped together quite a little fortune. He is a thorough 
 man of business, and seems as merry as he is wise. 
 
 At 11 a.m. I prepared to go ashore with several other 
 passengers, but remembering Mr. Ritchie's 
 II caution to shut and fasten my port, as 
 
 the coaling men at all stations have what 
 he called " hooky fingers," I went below 
 and made that safe. When I returned 
 
 "Hooky fingers." to tlie S p ar _deck I found the launch had 
 started, but I caught her up in a boat. On our way we 
 passed a number of graceful craft with lateen sails. I don't 
 know whether it is the skill of the men or the build of the 
 smacks, but they fetch along in grand style. 
 
 Ashore, I found two friends from our mess — one a Mr. 
 French, bound for the drainage improvement company in 
 Eio ; the other a Mr. Dane, an engineer en route for 
 Pernambuco, who spoke Portuguese and Spanish perfectly, 
 and was, both here and elsewhere, a very kind guide and 
 interpreter. We wended our way, first up the hillside and 
 through the main streets, and then penetrated into the poorer 
 parts of the city. 
 
 The mean temperature of Lisbon is in autumn 62°, winter 
 52^°, summer 71°. The most pleasant time, therefore, is from 
 January to March. In April, the heat makes sight-seeing a 
 little tiring, and travellers, with time to spare, escape to 
 Cintra or Busaco. 
 
 There being few leading thoroughfares, a stranger finds it 
 easier to lose than to find his way. The lengthy names of 
 the streets, too, are a difficulty. You need a good memory 
 to recollect your address if you happen to live, for instance, in 
 Travessa da Porta do Carro do Hospital Eeal de Sao Jose ;
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 
 
 31 
 
 and if you say it over every ten minutes while you are out, 
 so as to fix it, you find yourself asking your way, at night, to 
 " Apothecaries' Hospital, South Chelsea." 
 
 The house-numbering, too, is puzzling, running into 
 hundreds in no time. The reason is, that it is not house- 
 numbering at all ; you find that they number doors inside 
 the houses, and even the windows in some places. The 
 door of the dwelling of the " Sage femme" I heard, used to 
 be distinguished by a white cross, but none such did I see, 
 and no White Cross Street at Lisbon could I find. 
 
 Bull-fights are held at the Circo dos Touros, every 
 Thursday and Sunday. They are amusing enough, it is 
 said, and quite free from the revolting cruelties practised in 
 Spain — neither men, horses, nor bulls, being in any danger. 
 
 A noticeable thing, in a Catholic city like Lisbon, is the 
 absence of priests in the streets. This is more apparent 
 than real ; they are there, but it 
 is their habit (happy phrase) to 
 dress as laymen. In the Chapel 
 of St. Vincente Cathedral, Basilica 
 de Santa Maria, destroyed by 
 earthquake in 1344, are relics of 
 the saint, brought from the cape 
 named after him. The legend 
 says, they had been watched over 
 there, by two ravens which were 
 brought to Lisbon with them. 
 (We have all seen carrion crows 
 on guard like this over remains 
 of all sorts, and very clean they 
 
 pick them.) Anyway, two ravens are still quartered in the 
 cloisters, and two things, meant for ravens, are quartered also 
 
 Ha-di-doo?"
 
 32 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 in the city arms, where they are represented roosting on the 
 stem and stern of a ship. 
 
 On the top of a high hill stands the church of Nossa 
 Senhora do Monte (1243). It contains the usual original 
 holy manger; also the chair of the first Bishop of Lisbon, 
 in which it is considered lucky for mothers in posse, who 
 succeed in climbing so far up the hill, to seat themselves. 
 From outside this church, one of the grandest views is to 
 be had of the city and the river. 
 
 Another, and more interesting church, is that called Igreja 
 da Grapa, which contains a wondrous collection of wax 
 models of diseased limbs cured by patron saints (quite a 
 little Chamber of Horrors) ; also, many paintings commemo- 
 rating saintly intervention on sea and land. Crude as these 
 pictures are, they at least show gratitude, a quality not to 
 be despised, even if it be "prospective." The wax arms 
 and legs are horribly natural, and only fit, in some cases, 
 for an anatomical museum. I counted upwards of a hundred 
 of these limbs in all, exhibiting every kind and stage of 
 hideous disease. For certain physiological reasons, it is to 
 be hoped that mothers in posse, are not admitted to these 
 " ex voto" collections, as they are termed. 
 
 The pictures — whose style is suggestive of a common 
 origin — illustrate life-saving in all its branches. Here, a 
 saint appears to be bringing the shaving-water to a man, 
 bedridden for twenty years, and he is getting up. In another, 
 while the deck of a ship is burning at sea, the crew are 
 kneeling to the saint, who is seated, out of the way of the 
 flames, on the cross-trees. At first I missed the point of this, 
 but a companion picture, containing the sequel, explained it. 
 This represents the ship capsized. The fire is out, of course, 
 and the grateful crew are at prayers on the bottom, while
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 33 
 
 the saint is seen coming on a rescuing boat, holding out his 
 hat — I beg pardon, his halo — apparently about to make " the 
 usual collection." 
 
 One of our party ascertained the address, hard by, of the 
 artist who does these things, and we went to see his stock- 
 in-trade. He had many works of art on hand, descriptive of 
 saintly aid afloat and ashore ; he also painted to order. In 
 the ready-made or bespoke trade, he was equally at home. 
 It was a very warm day, and we were very thirsty, and this 
 may, in some measure, explain the drift of the following 
 transaction. 
 
 An American of our party, addressing the artist, said, 
 and another translated for him, "What ud yew charge 
 to paint a picture representing my friend here dying for a 
 drink, and me, got up like a saint, bringing him a foam- 
 ing tankard of champagne and seltzer ? No ; I mean it 
 straight," he went on, seeing us smile. " Of course, I don't 
 expect you to paint our portraits. You can leave two holes 
 for our photos." At this moment, he sighted a picture on 
 the shop wall, of a man lying back in his chair starving, 
 and a saint bringing a loaf and mug. " That one'll dew 
 me," he said. " How much ? " " Seven milreis " (14s.), said 
 the artist. " Very well ; just cut out the faces and paint in 
 a bottle instead of the loaf, and I'll look in for it in a couple 
 of hours." And he did ; and when I saw it on board, with 
 the photos and a bottle with " Mumm " on it, the effect 
 was most comical. Both men had round fat faces, and to 
 see one as the starving man and the other as saint, was too 
 deliriously incongruous. 
 
 On our way from here to the market, we passed a woman 
 cooking chestnuts in a terra-cotta funnel, over a fireplace 
 of the same kind, and fanning the charcoal with a rush 
 
 D
 
 34 
 
 "BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 brush. These poor women wear earrings as big as the 
 palm of your hand, of the purest gold, and costing ten milreis 
 (20s.). Others I saw selling Laranja (oranges) along the 
 streets, wore a pad round the waist, as thick as a horse collar, 
 to rest their hands on while balancing their baskets on their 
 heads. In dress they are something like the German Vier- 
 laendirenen, and they look both healthy 
 and happy, as they tramp along and call 
 their wares. They eat them too — the 
 larders for their own apples or what-not 
 being the rims of their round, black, felt 
 hats. 
 
 There is a peculiar breed of large cats of 
 a slate colour in Lisbon, numbers of which 
 start out from every nook and corner of 
 the poorer parts and feed timidly on the 
 garbage always to be found there. The 
 "Laranja!" smells in these places are atrocious, and 
 the dwellings squalid and out of repair. 
 
 In a leading street, we passed a very old man leading a 
 dozen turkeys, leashed to his stick, and, further on, we saw, 
 for the first time, oxen drawing waggons. The driver has a 
 goad in his stick, which I saw one use most brutally, 
 thrusting it up the animals' nostrils. 
 
 The next thing we noted was a funeral, where all were 
 smoking — riders, drivers, and all ; and, closely following it, a 
 one-horse golden carriage, in shape something like our hansom 
 — a bridal affair. What with the maternity-chair I had just 
 noted at the church of " Our Lady on the Hill " (which 
 reminds one of the old nursery rhyme, that goes on to say, 
 " and if she's not gone, she's living there still "), and now this 
 wedding and funeral, I have seen something of the births,
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 
 
 35 
 
 deaths, and marriages of Lisbon. I once heard a man call 
 them the " imports, exports, and transports " of the city. 
 
 Lisbon is supplied with water by an aqueduct erected 
 in the reign of Don Joao V. (1729-1748). It traverses a 
 distance of some six miles across the valley of Alcantara, 
 on arches little short of three hundred feet high. Long aero, 
 one Diogo Alves discovered certain undeveloped resources 
 in this lofty situation and 
 set about utilizing them. 
 His plan consisted in 
 conveying travellers, at 
 fees varying with their 
 means, from the top of 
 the aqueduct to the valley 
 below, by force of gravita- 
 tion. The descent was 
 accomplished with safety, 
 
 but owing, it is said, to 
 the sudden stop at the Dio S° Alves— A promising career abridged, 
 bottom, his method was attended with so many fatalities, 
 that at last the authorities interfered. By way of experiment, 
 they tested his system on himself, using a hempen stay to 
 limit his fall. But it had just the same effect, and, like 
 many another inventor, Diogo Alves paid for his discovery 
 with his life. 
 
 The market for fruit, vegetables, plants, seeds, fish, poultry, 
 the Praca da Figueira, is worth a visit, perhaps, to see the 
 peasant costumes, etc. No, not to see the " et csetera," cer- 
 tainly. It is cleared and cleanseJ by 2 p.m. every day, 
 and right well it needs it, I should say. My "etc." just 
 now, included a practice which was new to me then, but 
 with which my after voyage, among Portuguese emigrants,
 
 36 "BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 made me unpleasantly familiar. The peasants seemed to 
 be for ever hunting for that which Dr. Johnson once coarsely 
 said women always will talk of — " what runs in their heads." 
 You'd see them hunting one another, like this, all over the 
 densely packed market, only breaking off from time to 
 time to serve a customer, when, of course, they handled the 
 provisions freely. To an Englishman this is unspeakably 
 revolting, and it was by no means compensated to me by the 
 market, which is a thing to have seen, perhaps, but not to see. 
 Before the waterworks were built, Lisbon was dependent 
 on her fountains (Chafarizes), which are still very numerous, 
 as also are the water-carriers who are to be seen near them in 
 characteristic groups. That in the Eua Boavista is said to be 
 beneficial for the sight, and is hence called " Bica dos Ohhos." 
 At this shrine, we found our old friend Pog filling a 
 couple of bottles with the miraculous water. 
 But we gave him the slip as soon as we 
 decently could, for he was too eccentric. 
 Earlier in the day, just after landing, some 
 of the Clyde people saw him walking so 
 nervously, on account of the earthquake of 
 1755, that the operation looked more like 
 a fat boy feeling his way on thin ice, and 
 Aquarius. whenever he came to a crack in the road- 
 
 way, he would sound it suspiciously with his stick and fill it 
 up with mud, as a sort of " stitch in time," I suppose. 
 
 About one o'clock we made our way to the handsome 
 new railway station, Da Avenida, en route for Cintra Palace. 
 Very noticeable here are the two lofty arches forming the 
 entrances to the booking-office. Each is built on the exact 
 lines of the horseshoe. I don't remember having before seen 
 this device used as an arch, and it did not please me. The
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 37 
 
 greatest width of an arch, to be used as a thoroughfare, 
 should surely be at the bottom — which, in the horseshoe, is 
 the narrowest part. Wherever you go in Lisbon you 
 encounter hills, and at this station you take your ticket 
 some fifty feet below the platform. When I was there, they 
 were finishing a hydraulic lift which will connect the two, 
 and save you the climb we had up the zigzag road. 
 
 Catching the 1.30 train for Cintra, we were soon whisking 
 along in a comfortable saloon carriage of American build, 
 through the two-mile tunnel that clears you of the city. 
 After another seven miles, you emerge into really very 
 pretty country, through which your route lies for about an 
 hour, the entire distance being some seventeen miles. The 
 aqueduct is seen to great advantage on the way, particularly 
 where it crosses the valley. We had all noticed this point 
 from the Clyde, as also the numerous windmills that dot 
 the way. These, with their moving sails, seemed now to 
 start out at us at every few hundred yards, and their 
 revolving, together with our onward motion, made them 
 seem to be running up to the train. 
 
 Seven miles from the start, we came to Bemfica, prettily 
 embowered among orange groves, gardens, and orchards. 
 Cintra, a town of some importance, lies on the edge of a 
 granite serra, whose highest point is 1865 feet above the sea 
 level. In approaching it, one traverses long avenues of 
 silver poplar, bay, and willow of huge growth, which, 
 together with oak, elm, and box, hide the road in almost 
 subterranean shade. Cintra is entered at the foot of the 
 hill, which is crowned with pointed and craggy eminences, 
 in singular contrast to the woods that hide its base. 
 
 The Royal Palace, situated in the centre of the town, was 
 built about the year 1500. The gardens, in which it stands.
 
 38 "BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 are very lovely. Under the shade of ancient chestnut trees, 
 and within sound of babbling fountains, rustic seats enable 
 you to rest, cooled by a breeze that at certain seasons must 
 be laden with the scent of orange and lemon. These solitary 
 scents and sounds, amid the stillness, are very soothing, 
 while the eye, with great tranquillity, rests on the verdure 
 
 everywhere luxuriant. On the 
 winding road up the hill, ivy-clad 
 cork trees and giant stone-pines 
 canopy the way. At the top stands 
 the palace, once the Alhambra of 
 the Moorish kings, and, ever since 
 Lisbon was made the seat of Chris- 
 tian government, the favourite royal 
 
 residence. What with its fountains, 
 " Delicioso! " 
 
 terraces, gardens, arabesque win- 
 dows, slender shafts, reservoirs, and towers, Cintra Palace 
 is a singular medley of Moorish and Christian architecture. 
 
 The first noticeable place on entering, is the Sala das 
 Pegas, the ceiling of which has magpies painted all over it, 
 and each bird carries in his beak a scroll bearing the motto 
 " Por hem " (for good). The story goes, that Don Joao I. was 
 caught by his Queen kissing a maid-of- honour. Fully equal 
 to the occasion, the monarch merely remarked, " E jpor bem 
 minha senhora," which is said to have quite satisfied the 
 queen. Well, it was good — very good, I dare say ; but, how 
 a husband saying so should appease a wife — especially an 
 English wife, for this queen was our Philippa of Lancaster 
 — I must say puzzled me a little, till our guide explained 
 that used in this connection the words meant " Platonic, my 
 lady ; " since then, it has puzzled me a good, deal more. 
 
 From certain historical characteristics of Philippa, I
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 
 
 39 
 
 venture to furnish a version of the story, more in keeping 
 with her habitual warmth of temperament and readiness 
 of resource. 
 
 "POR BEM." 
 
 When Don Juan was seen, 
 
 By Philippa his queen, 
 To kiss a fair maid that was near, 
 
 He exclaimed, " By my name, 
 
 Lip or hand is the same ; 
 The salute was Platonic, my dear ! " 
 
 " Oh, I see ! " said the queen, — 
 
 As she stepp'd in between, 
 And dealt each a good box on the ears — 
 
 " Now we all understand, 
 
 That by lip or by hand, 
 Our salutes are ' Platonic? my dears ! " 
 
 Next we came to the Hall of Shields, on the dome-shaped 
 
 I 
 
 A glimpse of G intra, 
 roof of which are painted, in two concentric circles, the arms 
 of the Portuguese nobility, each shield being pendant from 
 a stag's head. The highest genealogical honour known to a 
 Portuguese, is for his " hrazdo " to figure in this Sala. Our 
 showman next took us to the chapel, and the miserable 
 room in which Don Alfonso VI. was confined. The brick
 
 40 "EOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 floor is entirely worn away, on one side, by the ceaseless 
 pacings to and fro of the unhappy captive. It was indeed 
 a " salle des pas perdus," as they used to call the waiting- 
 room at the Tuileries. The salon is also shown, where Don 
 Sebastido held his last audience before sailing on his dis- 
 astrous African expedition, and where the crown is said to 
 have fallen from his head. If Pog had been with us, he 
 would have been rolling his eagle eyes round the apartment, 
 hoping to spot a stray jewel or two. 
 
 The views from the sides of the palace are most extensive, 
 and the scenery is in many ways unrivalled. It is flat, and 
 fails to please some, I know; but it is such an immense 
 panorama. The eye can wander afield for twenty miles 
 out there, over the olive, orange, and lemon groves, over the 
 shore and the water beyond it, out to where sea and cloud 
 meet and mingle, and become lost in what looks like a range 
 of mountains. 
 
 Far away to the right, lies the convent of Mafra, built on 
 the model of the Escurial, a quadrangular building of 
 immense size, measuring, I believe, over two hundred and 
 fifty yards each way. In the centre of this pile stands the 
 church, behind the choir of which are situated three hundred 
 cells. Beyond Mafra some distance, are the ever-famous 
 heights or lines of Torres Vedras, so skilfully chosen, forti- 
 fied, and defended by Wellington. 
 
 We had made the ascent on donkeys, the road being very 
 steep ; and having found that very enjoyable, we fully ex- 
 pected a like pleasure going down. But " facilis descensus," 
 etc., does not apply here. The donkeys' saddles are of 
 Mexican build, so thick that one sits quite a foot above the 
 back of the animals, whose skin, be it ever remembered, is 
 loose. The road is arched so as to drain it, very steep, and
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 
 
 41 
 
 " Facilis descensus " (?) 
 
 runs in the form of a huge corkscrew. Now, just imagine 
 the feelings of a man who has not been on a donkey since 
 his boyhood, sitting astride this saddle and being taken down 
 this road at a canter ! The animal, 
 for some reason, prefers the gutter 
 at the outside edge, where it is 
 rough and only protected by a 
 dwarf parapet, so you have a view, 
 all the time, of the several hundred 
 feet drop there is for you, if you 
 should come off. Indeed, you can't ; d\ ^ 
 help seeing it, for you are actually "St' 
 over the gulf, at an angle of forty- 
 five degrees to a vertical line pass- 
 ing through your donkey. What 
 a pity there is not a tangible line of that sort, to hold on 
 by. Perhaps, though, the leverage might only lead to your 
 taking the donkey over with you. When we got to the 
 bottom, the others wanted to ride on ; but, though not a 
 member of the S.P.C.A., my feelings would not allow me 
 to tax my donkey further. 
 
 If you have time, as we had, there is a good English hotel 
 where you can dine well and put up for the night. In the 
 morning, it is worth a walk or ride of some three miles to 
 see Quinta de Monserrate. 
 
 October 21th.— These gardens are said to be unique in 
 Europe — probably in the world— in variety and beauty of 
 vegetation. Plants, from all parts, flourish in the open air. 
 Tree-ferns, of immense size, recall the scenery of the warmer 
 parts of New Zealand. Palms of the Indian Ocean attain 
 full stature and produce fruit, while, hard by and thriving 
 equally well, are flowering trees and shrubs of South America
 
 42 
 
 "BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 and Australia. The house is not shown ; but, to the grounds 
 admission is never refused, and they are one of the interest- 
 ing sights of Portugal. 
 
 An hour further, will take you to another sight worth 
 seeing— the Cork Convent, so called 
 because the cells are lined with cork. 
 They are about five feet square, and one 
 of them, a mere hole, is pointed out as 
 the eell of the famous hermit Honorius, 
 who died, aged 95, in 1596. In front 
 of his cave, is the inscription — 
 
 " Hie Honorius vitam fiuivit, 
 Et iJeo cum Deo in ceelis revivit." 
 
 The hermit Honorius. j n the out lymg parts of Lisbon, 
 
 some few peasants still carry the long, iron-tipped pole which 
 in well-trained hands, it is said, often proved itself a match 
 for the sword in the Peninsular Wars. On one occasion, 
 it is recorded that a mere handful of peasants, so armed, 
 dismounted a large body of French cavalry. 
 
 How lovely the country here about must be in summer- 
 time ! The oak, the wild olive, the huge cork tree with ferns 
 ^•- , nestling in the hollows of 
 
 its broad trunk ; orange 
 and lemon groves, mingling 
 with water-melon and In- 
 dian corn, gladden the eye, 
 while the air is laden with 
 the scent of jasmine. The 
 vines, too, lend another 
 charm, creeping at will 
 along the simple trellis-work with exquisite grace, untrimmed 
 and perfectly free. 
 
 «iig 
 
 ♦S-a 
 
 " It saves your nose a lot cominj 
 through the hedge."
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 43 
 
 They told me that during the grape season, sticks are 
 fastened to the dogs' collars, to prevent their getting through 
 the hedges and stealing the grapes, of which they are passion- 
 ately fond. Some dogs, however, seem able to dodge the 
 difficulty — indeed, find the stick of great assistance. 
 
 The vine-growers along the shore opposite to Lisbon, used 
 to have a wholesale way of protecting their grapes. They 
 captured their thievish dogs and shipped them to the capital, 
 and this, I heard, accounted for the number of hungry 
 mongrels that used to infest Lisbon during the summer 
 months. 
 
 As to our recent difficulty with Portugal over the 
 African question, the new Consul told me when we were 
 anchoring that the acting-Consul, who came on board to 
 meet him, brought the news that things were quieting down 
 in this respect. But, though we were not molested, we 
 found the English were still most cordially disliked. No 
 tradesman dare announce "English spoken," as formerly. 
 Not being prepared, however, to sacrifice business to patriot- 
 ism, the cunning have hit upon a compromise, and now 
 everywhere you see the legend, " American spoken " / 
 
 Having seen as much of the place as we cared to, we went 
 on board in the afternoon, though we were not leaving till 
 eight or nine o'clock. And I'm glad we did, for it enabled 
 me to see the embarking of the emigrants and the lighting 
 up of the city — two things which ought not to be missed. 
 
 It is no easy matter to ship 576 emigrants safely. They 
 come off in all sorts of boats and barges, and laden with 
 every kind of luggage, furniture, kitchen-utensils, beds, and 
 babies. Here begin the worries of the ship's doctor. So far, 
 Dr. Blandford had had little to do ; but from Lisbon to Rio, 
 whither these emigrants were bound, his hands would never
 
 44 
 
 HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 be empty. During the whole time they were embarking, he 
 had to watch them closely, as, one by one, they passed him 
 at the gangway. 
 
 It is a matter of serious importance to all on board, 
 whether the doctor does this duty well or scamps it. 
 The health of the whole ship depends upon this primary 
 precaution. For disease spreads, of course, readily in crowded 
 places, and isolation is more difficult on board than on shore. 
 
 <.,. 
 
 Passeio D. Pedro D'Alcantara, Lisbon. 
 
 Besides, though there is a hospital and a well-fitted ship's 
 dispensary, many things (such as fresh milk in a typhoid 
 case) are not at times obtainable, and so an epidemic is less 
 easy to check. The only way, then, is for the doctor rigidly 
 to refuse any one in whom his practised eye detects the 
 faintest signs of infection. 
 
 It is not for me to criticise a medical man ; but Dr. 
 Blandford did this work, I thought, very thoroughly and 
 with untiring pains. As we often found, he could be mirth
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 
 
 45 
 
 itself at proper times, and show all an Irishman's apprecia- 
 tion of fun in others ; but when on duty, all that is laid 
 aside, and he is the ship's doctor and nothing else. 
 
 There were not many emigrants rejected ; but, in one case, 
 a child with a suspicious eruption was sent back, and this 
 refusal involved her mother also and another child. We 
 were all harrowed by the sight of these three unfortunates, 
 huddled together in the police-boat alongside, in very 
 
 ' : Rejected ! " 
 
 rough water, tossing about for three hours or more : pictures 
 of abject misery. Many on board sent them contributions. 
 One gave all his Portuguese money, another five shillings, a 
 third ten shillings, and so on. But nothing seemed to break 
 the spell of their desolation ; no, not even the sight of the 
 food we sent them. It was not food they wanted. 
 
 The incident recalls an experience, of early days, that led 
 me to perpetrate the following verses : — 
 
 "BREAD CAST UPON THE WATERS." 
 
 In student clays, before my fledge, 
 My nest lay in the mural hedge 
 O'erlooking Gray's Iun Lane.
 
 4G "BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 I roosted on the topmost bough, 
 So steps were many, you'll allow, 
 From out to home again. 
 
 I used to break my fast at eight, 
 And many a morning could not wait 
 
 Till I had made the tea. 
 And oh, how toothsome ! oh, how sweet ! 
 That roll of yesterday would eat. 
 
 A banquet 'twas to me. 
 
 One morn, a hungrier lad than I 
 Knocked at my door, aud, with a sigh, 
 
 Poured forth his sad appeal. 
 "Here, take this roll," I said; "'twill slay 
 Your pangs. 'Tis all I have to-day. 
 
 I know how faint you feel." 
 
 But how I missed that little roll, 
 Those only know who give the whole 
 
 Of such a scanty store. 
 This was at eight, and not till ten 
 The punctual-calling baker's men 
 
 Would come with any more. 
 
 By hunger stung, I flew down stairs, 
 Two at a time, full forty pairs, 
 
 And out into " the Lane," 
 Where — oh, how my inside was riven ! — 
 The roll I from my need had given, 
 
 Lay soaking in the rain ! 
 * # * * 
 
 That night, when I came home to sup, 
 There it was still. I picked it up 
 
 And laid it at my door, 
 Hoping some dog all bone and skin — 
 Some poor out -pensioner of the Inn — 
 
 Might find and prize it more. 
 
 Next morn, that roll of yesterday 
 At last had fed a castaway, 
 
 Who stayed to lick my hand. 
 I took him in, and there and then, 
 That he was partner of my den 
 
 Soon made him understan 1.
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 47 
 
 Friends ever from that d;iy were we, 
 And true as steel was "Jack " to me; 
 
 We lived for one another. 
 Ten years he nestled by my side, 
 And when at last he drooped and died, 
 
 I felt I'd lost — a hrother. 
 
 Thus, " bread upon the waters cast," 
 Before a single day had passed, 
 
 Taught me a lesson plain; 
 So plain that now I dare to say 
 If that poor lad asked bread to-day, 
 
 Td do the same again. 
 
 Sympathy affects different men in different ways. A 
 certain Alderman, after hearing a piteous tale, rang the hell, 
 and in tears exclaimed to the powdered footman who 
 answered it, " This man's misery is breaking my heart. 
 Poor fellow ! For Heaven's sake — show him out ! " 
 
 The Captain would, I think, have passed the mother and 
 her two children, but the Doctor was wisely inflexible. We 
 could all, the Captain included, see how wisely, within a 
 very few days. 
 
 The emigrants were a very grubby set, unkempt, sallow, 
 and badly nourished, and their costumes a quaint medley of 
 all colours and shapes. Here is a rather good female specimen 
 of incongruity, I think, and there were fifty more just as 
 glaring. Hair caught up in an old-gold silk handkerchief — 
 the favourite colours for these things are old-gold, canary, 
 terra-cotta, and gamboge — black pork-pie hat with green bow, 
 cardinal figured jacket, and "Keckitt's blue" skirt. With 
 this lady, was a gentleman in a scarlet coat, but I afterwards 
 found this was mside out, a common way of preserving the 
 black side for Sundays and saints' days. 
 
 Their comforts are well provided for in every way ; there 
 are separate lavatories, baths, and offices for the sexes, and
 
 48 
 
 HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 separate cabins for the women, fitted respectively with 
 fourteen, twenty-four, and twenty-six bunks, on the main 
 deck. The men are on the lower deck, where each has a 
 separate berth. Three meals a day are served to all — at 7.30 
 a.m. beef and rice, half-pint of " vino tinto " (red wine), beef 
 and maccaroni, fish and rice (two or three times a week), 
 stewed beef and potatoes. At 12.30 p.m., soup, cheese, beans, 
 green vegetables, potatoes twice a week, and half-a-pint of 
 wine. At five o'clock, tea and bread and butter, and cheese 
 twice a week. 
 
 All the emigrants were Portuguese, hailing from Douro-e- 
 Minho, Transmontes, on the northern frontier, bordering on 
 Galicia. They are a very frugal, thrifty people, making their 
 own wine, although it costs next to nothing to buy. Their 
 plan is to sell one out of every three bottles, and keep the 
 two for their own consumption. 
 
 At dinner, we found the tables fitted with the ominous 
 
 " fiddles," as the wooden rims 
 are termed that prevent plates, 
 dishes, bottles, etc., rolling off 
 with the tossing of the vessel. 
 We were expecting bad weather, 
 it seemed. Already, in fact, the 
 ship was lurching considerably. 
 
 Just as we finished the meal, 
 a new steward sent every one 
 into fits of laughter, by starting 
 off with a pile of plates and 
 dishes down the slope, as the 
 A collision at sea. sn jp ro lled, without, as experi- 
 
 enced hands do, throwing his body back to correct the pitch. 
 When he had once got started, there was no stopping him,
 
 SOUTHAMPTON TO LISBON. 49 
 
 and he ended by dashing into another steward, who was 
 similarly loaded at the other side of the saloon, but wisely 
 biding his time to move. Neither got hurt, except, perhaps, 
 just enough to make their mutual recriminations very 
 animated, and a quarrel between two men loaded with china 
 is a very funny spectacle. 
 
 The sight of Lisbon, illuminated, was one not to be missed. 
 It looked like a thousand Crystal Palaces blown into atoms 
 along the Surrey hills. 
 
 The city hung with diamonds all ablaze, 
 In terraces of scintillating rays; 
 From the blue river to the bluer sky, 
 Is twinkling music to my spondee * eye. 
 
 * I had the word "listening" here, but a friend — a poet by profession — 
 reading the advance proof, wired me : " Last word but one spondee ; " so, of 
 course, I altered it, though — I must say — to my ear "spondee" inadequately 
 describes the then tip-toe condition of my eye. However, poetry before every- 
 thing. Readers will please take their choice. All who prefer " spondee," 
 kindly signify the same in the usual way, and so decide the point for the 
 next edition. — C. C. A.
 
 50 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 LISBON TO ST. VINCENT. 
 
 As we pass rapidly down the river, the lights become fewer 
 and fainter, and the water rougher and rougher, and as we 
 cross the bar, about ten o'clock, we find ourselves in for a 
 gale. 
 
 Having here to shift my berth, and being very tired after 
 the moving in addition to my shore fatigues, I shortly after 
 turned in, to turn out (or rather to be turned out), very un- 
 ceremoniously, four hours later. 
 
 About 2 a.m. the ship's course was so suddenly altered, 
 
 that, in one second, she seemed to swing through 50° or 60°. 
 
 This had the effect of pitching everything right and left. 
 
 All over the ship, one heard things crashing and smashing 
 
 I ' ^" •^fe&s.^/^^C''- ~^ ^ n ^ ne w ^dest confusion. Every 
 
 single thing in my new quarters 
 
 fell in one chaotic heap in the 
 
 ^v^, ^ // centre of the cabin, amongst them 
 
 : '-'-t "V -*^ /; — literally so — myself and my 
 
 \" ^ ~^\ "•■ \y.j X .. •, L\ " stable - companion," a Brazilian 
 
 \ /^c^^J^^^^y coffee-planter from the berth on 
 
 1 -V . ^ jv-'W ■■' , ; ' , .. i^^-.- 1 the other side. 
 
 ^Instable companions. r . . ., . , . , 
 
 It is rather trying to be intro- 
 duced, thus abruptly and without ceremony, to an utter 
 stranger and foreigner, in pitch darkness, among a lot of
 
 LISBON TO ST. VINCENT. 51 
 
 loose luggage, in the middle of the night, on your hands and 
 knees — especially when you have no common language 
 between you to explain things. "Well we used uncommon 
 language ; at least, I did, and I should say in such cases 
 Brazilians do, from what I know of them. The worst was, 
 there was no standing, and even sitting or lying was risky, 
 amidst the wild stampede of the iron boxes, trunks, bags, 
 boots, hats, and sticks. 
 
 However, all troubles have an end, and, after a while, I 
 found the button and turned on the electric light. By its 
 bright aid, the Planter and I, in silence, captured and restored 
 to their lairs the wild denizens of the regions of the under- 
 bunk, and then, for want of better means of communication, 
 we shook hands, smiled, got into bed, and turned out the 
 light. 
 
 But I could not sleep after this shake-up, so presently 
 went on deck, where I was a little consoled to hear there 
 was good reason for the change of course. It appears it was 
 to avoid a collision with a ship in a threatening position on 
 our starboard bow. My collision with the Planter was pre- 
 ferable to that, anyhow. The ship was rolling heavily, and 
 the sea sweeping her decks, every now and again, from end 
 to end, and as standing on the deck was difficult, I stretched 
 myself, for a while, in the lower saloon, where I was soon 
 after joined by Pog, who evidently did not recognize me. 
 
 The fact is, while in Lisbon I had removed a month's 
 growth of beard and whiskers, and this, coupled with the 
 night attire, disguised me. " That roll fetched you up, too ? " 
 I said. " Well, rather ! " said he, and with that we fell-to 
 and chatted. 
 
 Here, I should explain that to each berth there is a little 
 parapet which, if screwed up, prevents your falling out.
 
 52 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 Thinking this was intended to widen the bunk, poor Pog 
 had let it down, laid on it, and so came out, as I did. " Yes, 
 sir," he said in his thoughtful way, "the 
 wonder to me is, that any remained in 
 their berths in such an earthquake. You 
 want grappling-irons on your night-shirt 
 to keep in bed such weather." 
 
 He then proceeded to tell me of him- 
 self. He had injured his head in a rail- 
 way accident, and was now going to visit 
 
 Ideal sketch of Pog's hj s son } n Argentina. His eye, too, 
 pyjamas. ° 
 
 troubled him, he said — the one the 
 
 Spanish lady lifted him up by, with her thumb. But he 
 had found some water in Lisbon, two large bottles of 
 which he had brought away (we saw him), possessing 
 almost miraculous powers. There was no one, he said, 
 at the fountain to. give directions about the water: but he 
 intended trying "a teaspoonful daily, fasting." Well, I 
 should have used it as a lotion myself; but I said nothing. 
 " Do you find your head better for your visit to Europe ? " 
 I asked. " Oh yes," he said. " When I came over last 
 time, in 1884, you would not credit how nervous I was. 
 Now, nothing affects me— Bay of Biscay — Lisbon earth- 
 quakes — nothing. But this is an awful night, isn't it ? " 
 Here he slipped on to the floor, but pulled himself up and 
 tried to smile, and took a nerve-strengthener from his flask. 
 
 " Did you notice, sir," he went on, " a man, a little under 
 your height, with a beard, Inverness cape, and slouch hat, 
 as we were nearing the bay ? Now, there s a timid man, if 
 you like. He intended going to Buenos Aires ; at least, so 
 he told me." Then, warming with his subject, he went on : 
 " But he'd had enough of it, and got off at Lisbon. He
 
 LISBON TO ST. VINCENT. 
 
 53 
 
 Senhor Dom Razor, loq. : — 
 In a beard you I "Now you're clean 
 pride yourself." | beside yourself." 
 
 smiled, and tried to put a good face on it, sir ; but before we 
 
 reached the Bay he had to give it up. It may be natural 
 
 timidity ; but my idea is, 
 
 that man is a murderer 
 
 fleeing from justice, and if 
 
 I was sure of it, sir, I 
 
 would shoot him down 
 
 with my own hand, as I / 
 
 would " — a pause for a 
 
 suitable simile — "as I 
 
 would a sack of coals." 
 
 I ventured to remark, that 
 
 I thought I had seen the 
 
 man he described, come aboard before we left Lisbon. " Not 
 
 the man I mean," he insisted. " I think it is the same 
 
 person," I said, " and, if so, he is on the ship, and I will 
 
 find him for you to-morrow." With that, we parted for the 
 
 night ; he remarking that he had hoped he'd seen the last 
 
 of that " timid man," and I chuckling, as I saw unfolding 
 
 before me a melodrama in which I was to double the 
 
 leading parts. 
 
 October 28th. — After breakfast, we got up a shilling sweep- 
 stake on the fifteen hours' " run " to noon, and then held an 
 auction of the tickets, some favourite numbers fetching as 
 much as twenty shillings. At noon the Captain's notice 
 showed us to be in lat. 36° 2' K, long. 12° 1' W., and the 
 distance run from Lisbon 216 miles. 
 
 At. 12.30 p.m., I went to see food distributed to the emi- 
 grants. It was served out in tins, into which young and old, 
 men and women alike, dived their hands and filched what 
 they could, so it looked to me. They behaved more like wild 
 beasts — clawing, pushing, clamouring. Ten hands were at one
 
 54 
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 time in the dish, fighting for the larger bits of meat, which 
 they tore up with their fingers and gnawed like wolves. 
 This is not the Company's fault; everything is provided. 
 But these people are the poorest of the poor ; they know no 
 better ; and would not thank you for knives and forks and 
 tables — even plates are not necessaries to them. 
 
 Since we left Lisbon, the common red wine of the country 
 has been served, ad lib., to us free of charge. And each 
 of these people has had a pint of the same daily. After 
 leaving the ship at Eio, they are going on in coasting vessels 
 to the coffee plantations at Santos, where there is plenty of 
 work for them. They are a contented, jovial race, and when 
 not feeding, they group themselves in cliques or families, 
 dancing, playing the old-fashioned accordion and guitar, and 
 singing their national songs. Their favourite dance consists 
 of two couples, each couple taking it in turns to step to the 
 centre and clap hands high in the air, while at the same 
 time the four people are moving in a continuous circle. 
 They look very picturesque, too, in these groupings, despite 
 
 their tatters and the curious 
 mixtures of colours. We called 
 them " the three R's," the " rag- 
 ged rainbow regiment." 
 
 They gamble, too. Around 
 the Bo'sun's locker, forward, 
 there is always an excited crowd 
 v^A playing the favourite game of 
 " Eonda." Properly, they ought 
 to remain aft, and it is the 
 best place for them. They are 
 very dirty, filthy indeed, and it is best for passengers to be 
 to windward of them. A few used the lavatories — some 
 
 Emigrants playing " Ronda."
 
 LISBON TO ST. VINCENT. 55 
 
 even to excess — but the majority did not wash the voyage 
 through, I'm convinced, and all seemed to indulge in the 
 sickening practice I noticed in Lisbon market — only more 
 so. Over and over again I have seen a lover (!) bag five 
 or six brace to his own gun (as one might say), in a patch 
 of his lady's head no bigger than the palm of your hand. 
 My friend, Mr. Ollendorff, has with him an instantaneous 
 photographic apparatus. By its means he got some good 
 little bits on board in the Bay, and afterwards on shore at 
 Lisbon, and is now taking an emigrant toilet scene. 
 
 The wind has lulled a good deal, but it is still, by the log, 
 " fresh wind and heavy sea on starboard quarter." Chatting 
 with a friend, about Pog and the " criminal escaped from 
 justice," we hit on a plan. He, being near my height, was to 
 go to my cabin, slip on my Inverness and hat, and go to the 
 second-class part, while I led Pog to a spot half-way towards 
 it on the lower deck. Then, the " acting suspect " was to 
 pass across the gangway in the light, return to my cabin, and 
 disrobe. It answered perfectly, and so convinced Pog, that, 
 from that moment, his one idea has been the capture of this 
 man. Such jokes may not be of a very high order ; but 
 aboard almost anything tickles you into laughter, because 
 all the conditions are favourable to health and happiness. 
 
 After dinner, I had a chat with a young fair-haired Saxon, 
 standing 6 ft. 4J- in. in his socks, and broad in proportion, 
 and weighing, he told me, fifteen stone. After many rough 
 experiences in California and elsewhere, he is going to try 
 for some more refined employment in Argentina. Hitherto 
 a stay of two or three months in England is all he has 
 been able to stand ; by that time, the nomadic fever has 
 always culminated in his taking his blankets and starting 
 for America, as he called it, " on the tramp." There, so
 
 56 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 long as any money remained, he would loaf, and, when that 
 was gone, work for his daily food. He had had a college 
 education, and was, as I afterwards found, first cousin to 
 a peer. His brothers were in the army, and I'll venture to 
 say no one of them is better fitted naturally for that pro- 
 fession than he. 
 
 On reaching California, he told me, the first man he met 
 and knew was an old schoolfellow, who proposed that they 
 should start, in partnership, what is called a " hash-slinger " 
 — a shop, where meat is boiled in a cauldron hung on a tripod 
 in the middle of a shed. The stuff is served in a pannikin 
 with bread, to the customers seated round on the ground. 
 They opened, and the business must have thriven, for at 
 the end of fourteen days, Mr. Long told me, he sold his 
 share for sixty dollars, and started once more on tramp. 
 
 He has had many experiences, but they have not been 
 wasted on him ; the hard life has sobered him, and here 
 he is now — having acquired some Spanish, and really 
 o-ood shorthand and type-writing — about to begin life again, 
 at twenty-five, in far South America. It is a worthy effort, 
 if somewhat late in the making, and I heartily wish him 
 good luck in it ; but English clerks, with far better quali- 
 fications, are at a great discount. The German, living on 
 a crust, can afford to work for a mere song, has usually 
 four or five languages at his command, and in Argentina, 
 as everywhere else, he cuts us out. 
 
 October 29th. — A young fellow, engaged in the telegraph 
 department at St. Vincent, says the two coal companies 
 there supply 400,000 tons annually to the ships coaling at 
 that station. The English on the island number about a 
 hundred ; there is no church for them, but we are very con- 
 siderately taking them a clergyman who will hold service, I
 
 LISBON TO ST. VINCENT. 
 
 57 
 
 hear, in the cable buildings. The two very intellectual, re- 
 fined-looking women, who saw him aboard at Southampton, 
 were his sisters, I guess. 
 
 He has a sort of stammer or stutter in his walk, if one 
 may so say. In the smoothest weather, he seems to be allow- 
 ing for a lurch at every step, but never in the right direction. 
 In appearance, he is a tall, plump, ruddy- faced Rufus, and, 
 being fond of the leather ball, will be an acquisition to the 
 Island, where every one ranks according to his cricket ability. 
 
 Noon.— The notice is up—" Lat. 31° 12' N., long. 16° 17' W. 
 Euii, 360 miles." Just now the clergyman and a tall Yankee, 
 I can see, are having a bout on doctrinal matters. What a 
 contrast they make, sitting on adjoining deck-chairs ! The 
 clergyman is speaking fast, greatly excited, and leaning 
 towards the other, but he restrains himself somewhat by 
 clasping one hand firmly 
 in the other, leaving all 
 action to his head and 
 face. The attitude of the 
 American is that of abso- 
 lute dolce far niente ; 
 head back, legs out, 
 eleven-inch feet resting 
 on their heels (like the 
 hands of a clock at ten 
 minutes to two), one hand 
 thrust into his waistcoat, while the other, poised on its 
 elbow, balances a large cigar, at which he gazes, and from 
 which he every now and then seems figuratively, as well as 
 literally, to draw inspiration. 
 
 The conversation I cannot hear, but, judging from a remark 
 or two of the Yankee's yesterday, I should say the most the 
 
 A contrast.
 
 58 "BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 clergyman can expect is a draw or a " stale mate." " Well," 
 he was saying, " in theology I call myself a total abstainer. 
 I never employed a priest in my life, and wouldn't. As an 
 infant, I was of course baptized according to custom, but 
 even that was involuntary on my part, and it never took 
 when the time came. I was married by civil process, which 
 has lasted me quite as well as the clerical method, and 
 when I send in my checks I'm going to have my remains 
 cremated. What do I think of Christianity ? Well, I've 
 read, one time and another, very near the entire prospectus, 
 and from all I can figure out, I've come to the same con- 
 clusion as another of my countrymen, that the promoters of 
 that concern were a very smart syndicate." 
 
 There's a whale spouting (the first I have seen), but the 
 clergyman is far too busy to look, and, to his opponent, the 
 thing is nothing new. While I am looking, I hear the 
 Yankee say (apropos, I suppose, of the other's mission to 
 St. Vincent), " If there's only a hundred whites, I should 
 think you ought to pull them through." 
 
 But there goes the dressing-bell for dinner, a ceremonial 
 where all differences are sunk, a shrine where all may sacri- 
 fice in sweet communion. 
 
 In the evening, there is music in the saloon. Mr. Manley, 
 a young Englishman bound for the Argentine to acquire a 
 knowledge of business, sings, with good effect, the tuneful 
 though hackneyed ballad, " White Wings." Before going to 
 Balliol College, he had a year in Germany and another 
 in Spain ; besides which, he has very good French. With 
 four languages, an Oxford education, and the good introduc- 
 tions he carries with him, he should begin hopefully. A 
 lady bound for Bio also rendered many simple ballads 
 brightly and with taste. Sir Vivian Bland sang, to his own
 
 LISBON TO ST. VINCENT. 59 
 
 accompaniment, the pretty old air, " Oft in the stilly night," 
 and, being encored, followed it with " Believe me if all 
 those," etc., Moore's sweetest melody, as I happened to 
 say at the time. " Whose melody did you say ? " said 
 a passenger, listening with me outside the music-saloon. 
 " Moore's," said I. " Ah," he replied quickly, " clever 
 feller that More — so's Burgess at the other end." 
 
 10 p.m. — The sea is lumpy, as indeed it has been ever 
 since we left Lisbon. We are passing Las Palmas, one of 
 the Canaries ; the light, flashing every fifteen seconds, is on 
 our port bow as I go to bed below. 
 
 October 30th. — Up at 6.30 a.m. My sea-water bath felt 
 quite warm ; the sun is bright, and so hot that the awning 
 has to be spread over the promenade-deck. Ever since we 
 started, this deck has been lined from end to end with 
 chairs of every shape and make, but up to 
 now many have been empty. This morning, 
 although the sea is still roughish, everybody 
 seems to be taking the air, and they are all 
 full. Not only so, but the children, of whom 
 there are, I should think, fully fifty, are 
 making merry in all directions ; and how 
 cheering their presence is. It is a complete 
 nursery scene. They must be having " a high 
 old time" (as Americans say), for everybody pets them, 
 plays with them, nurses them, carries them about, and lays 
 himself out for their delectation. 
 
 Since breakfast, Sir Vivian, who is on his way to Rio, 
 has been telling me some of his experiences in the Bul- 
 garian and Servian war. They interested me greatly, and 
 I wish I could record them, but I can't. Some delicate 
 dishes will not bear rechauffe treatment. When he is at
 
 60 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 home, he takes a great interest in the County Council, of 
 which he is a member, and I should say a very earnest, 
 hard-working one. 
 
 One of his favourite pastimes is ballooning, and the 
 last descent he made, bade fair to be his last indeed. The 
 balloon was over the Crystal Palace, when suddenly a seam 
 gave way, and the gas rushed out so fast that — though 
 they lightened the car of everything, even to their mathe- 
 matical instruments — the loop carried away a chimney-pot, 
 and the first thing their grapnel caught was a drawing- 
 room window in the middle of Norwood. His companion, 
 who had made upwards of three hundred ascents, despaired 
 of saving the balloon, but happily it and they escaped 
 without hurt. On this occasion Sir Vivian had left the 
 County Council to make the ascent, and had contemplated 
 a long run, but its abrupt conclusion left him free to return 
 to the meeting, which he found still sitting. Doubtless 
 many a member during his absence had risen, made a short 
 motion, and resumed his seat — and so had he. 
 
 An Irish balloonist once remarked in my hearing, " We 
 speak of the number of a man's ascents, as if that gave the 
 measure of his skill. It would be more to the point, I 
 think, to speak of his descents, for those are the real tests." 
 " I thought the one involved the other," modestly remarked 
 one of the company. " Then you thought wrong, sor," re- 
 joined the other. " The balloon makes the ascent for you, 
 but you must arrange the descent and make it for yourself, 
 for if you leave it to the balloon, all the saints in the 
 calendar won't save you. As a matter of fact, I knew a 
 man, who, as they call it, ' made ' two ascents and only 
 one descent, for, when four miles high, the balloon was struck 
 by lightning, and it and all in it were swept away into
 
 LISBON TO ST. VINCENT. 
 
 61 
 
 space, where to this day, in all human probability, it is 
 revolving in impalpable dust around the ' oarth.' " 
 
 One thing in particular I learnt from Sir Vivian, the 
 perfect equilibrium of the balloon. In an ordinary way 
 the dropping of a mere pinch of sand is sufficient to in- 
 stantly arrest its descent. It has the same effect as the 
 touching of the rope in a hydraulic lift. 
 
 Noim.— Lat. 26° 8' N., long. 19° 53' W. Eun, 360 miles. 
 
 3 p.m. — On the starboard bows, we have just sighted a 
 vessel, the first since we left Lisbon. We have exchanged 
 salutes, and she proves to be a Hamburg steamer. 
 
 " You are requested not to cross the line ! " 
 
 5 p.m. — A three-master on our port bow is passing us full 
 sail, or rather we are meeting and passing her. 
 
 9 p.m. — The deck-chairs and their occupants are very 
 picturesque, but the legs of both get in your way, and sadly 
 spoil your after-dinner constitutional. What with these and 
 inconsiderate couples who will take arms, exercise (except 
 in bad French) is very much restricted ; the line ought 
 really to be drawn somewhere. I should like it to be a 
 chalk line, beyond which all deck-chairs trespassing should 
 be impounded and, like stray cattle on a common, only 
 released on payment of a fine. 
 
 Sir Vivian has been showing me a pretty experiment
 
 62 "HOW 1 FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 with claret and water. First, you get two glasses, and fill 
 one with wine and the other with water. Then, placing 
 a card on the latter and inverting it on the former, if 
 you gently withdraw the card, the water, being the heavier, 
 will be seen sinking in a fine stream through the wine and 
 a claret fountain rising through the water. 
 
 He also told me how, on another occasion, when ballooning, 
 by getting outside the car, holding on by the netting, and 
 pointing a camera at the car and towards the earth, he 
 managed to get a view of the car and its occupants, and part 
 of Denmark Hill lying 4000 feet below. 
 
 My acquaintance bound for St. Vincent says, when he first 
 went there only a few years ago, the island depended for its 
 water on the supplies brought in ships from other islands 
 in the Cape Verde group. Salt water is still used for 
 washing purposes, although a fair supply of fresh is brought 
 by pipes from springs far inland. It speaks badly for this 
 water, however, that every one, whether coming first to 
 St. Vincent or returning to it after a holiday, undergoes a 
 sentence of fourteen days' diarrhoea. 
 
 October 31s*.— Noon. Lat. 20° 52' K, long. 23° 11' W. 
 Eun, 366 miles. Weather delightful. "What with the grand 
 air, regular meals, plenty of rest (either on deck-chairs or 
 below), early hours for rising and retiring, frequent gentle 
 exercise, genial society, and (I cannot help thinking) the 
 beneficial action of the salt-laden air upon the skin, my 
 nerves are getting braced up noticeably, and I sleep well. 
 
 After breakfast, Mr. Ollendorff took some capital photo- 
 graphs of emigrant groups, and of our own friends, and 
 managed to hit off a flight of flying-fish. In what misery 
 those wretched fish would live, if they only knew what we 
 know ! Thev have fins as well as wings, and have pretty full
 
 LISBON TO ST. VINCENT. 
 
 63 
 
 
 occupation for both, as their lives are incessantly threatened 
 by the bonito and albicora, day and night. But the worst 
 and swiftest enemy of this unhappy creature, is the dolphin. 
 It appears that, owing to the heat of the sun, the wings of 
 the flying-fish will not support 
 its body more than two hundred 
 yards. Having flown so far, it 
 is obliged to descend and wet 
 them again before it can resume 
 its flight. The moment, therefore, 
 that it takes to the wing, the 
 dolphin, who is chasing it and 
 
 ' After you, 1*11 be first." 
 knows full well of this failing, darts forward under water 
 in the same direction as his prey above it, and is generally 
 at the spot where it returns to wet itself. 
 
 2.30 p.m. — We have just met an American schooner yacht, 
 heavily laden with penguin or whale, and looking very 
 travel-stained. These vessels are often out whaling for 
 eight or nine months at a stretch, in the Antarctic seas. 
 
 The Venezuelan fleet. 
 
 5 p.m. — We are passing a flock of "Mother Carey's 
 chickens," harbingers, as sailors say, of bad weather. The
 
 64 " HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 Chief Officer, Mr. Constantine, to whom I am indebted for 
 many kindnesses and much information, has just been 
 amusing us with the story of the old steamer Conway, of 
 this line. She was bought by the Venezuelan government 
 for service as a man-of-war, with the stipulation that two of 
 the Eoyal Mail officers should accompany her and remain 
 three months, in which time they were to teach the natives 
 navigation ! This they did, and left. No sooner were they 
 gone, than their pupils, thinking themselves now qualified 
 naval experts, got up steam and put to sea ; but they had 
 not been gone three days before they lost their reckoning. 
 By a stroke of luck, they managed to grope their way back 
 to their starting-place, where, in a huge funk, they ran the 
 ship ashore ; " and there," said the Chief Officer, concluding, 
 " she lieth unto this day." " Here endeth the first lesson," 
 said Pog, who was listening. 
 
 8 p.m. — A flying-fish has just come splashing on to the 
 spar-deck. It is about the size and shape of a herring. 
 Just behind the gills are two mottled wings, measuring from 
 tip to tip, when extended, exactly twelve inches, and two fins 
 midway between these and its tail. Hearing that they were 
 very frequent visitors on board, I threw the creature over- 
 board while still alive. It gleamed for a moment as it 
 touched the water, like a lighted cigar, and, the next, was lost 
 in the darkness. (As a fact, only two others came on board 
 during the trip — one of them to me, two days later.) 
 
 We expect to fetch St. Vincent at daybreak to-morrow. 
 
 November 1st. — 3 a.m. Glorious moonlight. We have had 
 it every night. As we were approaching St. Vincent and it 
 was very hot in the cabin, I went on deck and lay down in 
 a deck-chair to watch for the first glimpse of the St. Antonio 
 light. In hitching my chair round, to get a better view, I
 
 LISBON TO ST. VINCENT. 65 
 
 broke the leg, and down I went on the back of my head. In 
 a moment I seemed to see, not only the 
 St. Antonio, but the Porto Grande light, 
 and others too numerous to count. Find- 
 ing that playing at look-out man was 
 not my forte, I have returned to my 
 cabin, where my thermometer stands at " Any , remar + ks y™ 
 
 J may have to make 
 
 78° by the way, and we are but eight should be addressed 
 J J ° to the chair. 
 
 days out— only six days steaming. 
 
 5 a.m. — We have sighted St. Vincent — first the St. Antonio, 
 and then the Bird Island light. The outline of one of the 
 hills bears a resemblance to the profile of Napoleon I., while 
 another is called " Washington's Head." 
 
 5.50 a.m. — We are passing the Himalaya troopship lying 
 in the bay, homeward bound with the " Inniskillings " on 
 board. 
 
 6 a.m. — Anchored. The Verde Islands, of which St. 
 Vincent is the best known because of its convenient harbour 
 for coaling, were discovered in 1446. They are used by the 
 Portuguese government as penal settlements, and the 
 punishment is said to be much dreaded. The natives are 
 ignorant, and their religion is a mixture of Catholicism and 
 heathen worship imported by slaves brought from Africa, 
 the coast of which, at Cape Verde (whence these islands take 
 their name), is but two hundred miles from St. Vincent. 
 
 Near the sea the temperature in summer ranges between 
 80° and 90°. On some of the islands, occasionally, rain has 
 not fallen for three years. The climate is not considered 
 unhealthy, but a nasty kind of bilious attack, locally called 
 " levadias," is epidemic here in the month of May. Famine 
 raged all over the islands from 1831 to 1834, during which 
 time thirty thousand people are said to have died.
 
 66 
 
 HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 Real turtle and mock turtle. 
 
 The principal exports are salt, nuts, hides, coffee, maize, 
 sugar, cocoanuts, dates, and bananas. Among the imports 
 
 must be reckoned quails and 
 turtles, which in large numbers 
 work their passages from the 
 African coast to lay their eggs 
 on these sandy shores. 
 
 St. Vincent may be said to 
 be absolutely treeless, owing to 
 the fury of the north-east winds. 
 Grass even is so rare, that 
 cricket, the staple amusement of 
 the English community, has to be played on cocoanut- 
 matting pegged down over the required area. 
 
 But happily St. Antonio (or more correctly St. Antao), 
 only eight miles off, is fertile and able to supply its less 
 fortunate neighbours with grain and fruit. One of its 
 mountains reaches a height of seven thousand feet. During 
 a visitation of cholera in the summer of 1856 fully half of 
 the people of this island either died or left it. It boasts a 
 mountain three thousand feet high, and the neighbouring 
 island of logo one of like altitude, in full work as an 
 active volcano. The population of Brava, the most southerly 
 of the group, ekes out a living by victualling whalers. 
 
 Porto Grande, the harbour of St. Vincent, hemmed in on 
 all sides by small islands whose mountains, moss-covered 
 in patches, average four hundred or five hundred feet in 
 height, affords grand shelter for vessels. In the centre and 
 facing the entrance to the harbour, stands Bird Island, a 
 tiny thing, in shape like an inverted peg-top, and just 
 capable of holding a lighthouse, which looks like the illumi- 
 nated peg of the top. On the harbour front of the island
 
 LISBON TO ST. VINCENT. 67 
 
 stands the " city " (!) of Mindella, a mere village consisting 
 of wretched-looking dirty white houses, and stores where 
 baskets, mats, straw-hats, fans, etc., are sold at reasonable 
 prices. 
 
 The foreign consulates are situated among the bare 
 rocks, whence their forlorn occupants cheer themselves with 
 occasional glimpses of the vessels calling here to coal. The 
 island is a mere burnt-out volcano, a barren desert, cheer- 
 less in the extreme, with bare craggy pinnacles rising 
 abruptly out of the golden sands that fringe the rich blue 
 sea. It is a vision of coral rocks, yellow sands, and quaint 
 volcanic peaks. In this land-locked, mid-ocean harbour 
 there is space for full three hundred sail ; but the anchorage 
 is not always secure from squalls which rake the surrounding 
 valleys. The heat in summer must be terrific, for it is 90° 
 in the shade now. 
 
 Besides cricket, the only amusement seems to be " quaran- 
 tine," which, but for the other, would be even more indulged 
 in than it is. The knowledge that every ship quarantined 
 means to the residents the loss of a crick*et-match somewhat 
 tempers the official scrutiny. 
 
 The children, all blacks or half-caste, drive a lucrative 
 trade in shell-necklaces which they offer at three or four for 
 sixpence. The houses in the side-streets are squalid dens 
 and mostly windowless, all but the door being boarded up. 
 Small-pox, typhoid fever, and cholera are frequent visitors. 
 This broiling day, we saw a boy in an overcoat, and learnt 
 from his father that he had just recovered from small-pox. 
 There were many disfigured by this disease, principally 
 araonsj the coloured inhabitants, who form nine-tenths of tho 
 population. 
 
 The sentries were all blacks, I noticed, and the govern-
 
 68 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 ment officials and the labourers — male and female — employed 
 
 in landing timber, half-caste. The timber-men arranged the 
 
 planks on the heads of the women, 
 
 who, one at each end of the load, 
 
 went off up the shore with it at a 
 
 trot. This struck me as a curious 
 
 division of labour, but as the ladies 
 I~ 
 The land where woman's rights 
 
 have supplanted man's. fied, laughing and singing as they 
 
 went, and the men seemed happy in conferring so much 
 
 happiness on others, I suppose it must be right. 
 
 Everybody, man, woman, and child, composing the nonde- 
 script crowd of the "submerged tenth" that greets each 
 newly arrived vessel, has the same way of addressing the 
 visitor — " Gee me penny." If you throw one to the 
 half-naked little savages on land, they scramble and fight 
 like fiends for it; and if you pitch one into the water, 
 a dozen bronze statues are after it, and capture it long 
 before it touches the bottom. 
 
 This diving is the sight of the place. Even before the 
 Clyde had anchored, whole boats full of really beautiful 
 specimens of boys and men ("God's image cut in ebony," 
 as the divine Fuller— or rather Fuller the divine — once 
 happily described the negro) were alongside, clamouring for 
 money to be thrown from the vessel. For every silver 
 piece there would be half-a-dozen competitors, and if you 
 were willing to promise them a florin, there were always 
 two or three ready to dive completely under the ship and 
 up on the far side. This I saw done several times. 
 
 Some of these people were absolutely in their " birthday 
 suits," and none had more than a rag round their 
 loins. They all seemed to be in perfect condition, with
 
 LISBON TO ST. VINCENT. 
 
 69 
 
 -t ' 
 
 not an ounce of superfluous flesh, and when coming out of 
 
 the water their skins looked superb and glistened like the 
 
 skin of the seal. On our way 
 
 to shore many followed our 
 
 rowing-boat, and kept pace with 
 
 it too. Their hand-over-hand 
 
 swimming is not so graceful as 
 
 our side-stroke, but they forge 
 
 along through rough water far 
 
 faster than we should. The 
 
 truth is, constant practice has 
 
 Diving, at St. Vincent, 
 made them simply amphibious — land or water is precisely 
 the same to them. Their diving was the most graceful and 
 noiseless I have ever witnessed. 
 
 The building in which those engaged on the telegraph cable 
 (twenty-five in number) work and reside, is spacious and 
 fitted with all the comforts of a club. Their costume is a kind 
 of semi-uniform of some white material and a distinguishing 
 cap. They made a party of us very welcome, and refreshed us 
 most hospitably. Cricket matches with in-coming vessels are 
 all planned beforehand by cable. One with the Himalaya 
 was fixed for the following day, Sunday. The odds were 
 slightly in favour of the islanders on account of their 
 familiarity with the cocoanut-matting, sort of cricket- on - 
 the-hearthrug arrangement. Their welcome of the new 
 clergyman appeared to be very cordial ; so warm indeed, 
 that I could not help thinking religious zeal would not 
 account for all of it, and hearing them afterwards speak 
 of him as their "new wicket-keeper" explained much. 1 
 wonder how he liked his first service at 11 a.m. the following 
 day (Sunday), and whether, like Peter, he " stood up and was 
 bowled," as an irreverent riddle hath it.
 
 70 
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 This cricket-mania has a curious effect upon its votaries. 
 Everything becomes tinged with it. All thoughts find 
 expression more or less through the medium of its phrase- 
 ology. The weather is good or bad, for cricket; the in- 
 coming vessel is not fast or slow, well or ill appointed — 
 she is classed according to her cricket. Mention a name 
 known to a St. Vincent man, and he won't say, "What a nice, 
 or clever, or amiable person that is ! " but comes at once to 
 business with " He's a grand field," or is " Always good for 
 forty or fifty runs." They have brought the thing to such a 
 science, indeed, that a pretty, accomplished, married woman, 
 distinguished " in her own right," so to speak, ranks below 
 one not so gifted who is wife to a good bowler or wicket- 
 keeper. In fact, they are not called Mrs. Brown or Mrs. 
 Jones, but Mrs. " Slip," or Mrs. " Longleg." 
 
 Even the island doctor, familiarly known as Dr. " Bat," 
 became so infected with cricket that he could never get the 
 game out of his head. A certain merry member of our party 
 said he consulted this practitioner once, not knowing of his 
 peculiarity. "Dr. ' Bat,' " he said, " came, straight from a 
 match, in his flannels, and shouldering his bat. When he 
 
 entered my room, after 
 a hasty glance round to 
 see where he could put 
 his men, I suppose — for 
 I found afterwards he 
 was captain of the team 
 — he held his bat be- 
 tween his legs and gently 
 The consultation. lowered himself till he 
 
 sat on it. Then, taking a good look at me, he said, ' Well, 
 and what's your average ? ' Thinking he meant my age (for
 
 LISBON TO ST. VINCENT. 71 
 
 I am no cricketer), I said, ' Fifty-two,' at which he seemed 
 pleased, and remarked, ' If that is so, I think you ought to 
 be able to carry your bat out.' I said I thought I could do 
 that any time. ' Don't be too sure,' said he : and then he 
 went on, something like this : — 
 
 " You're a bit off colour. Too many duck's eggs lately, 
 eh? They upset some people — but, lor', they're nothing. 
 In future be content with one at a time, and if you can keep 
 'em down, you ought to be good for a century ! " 
 
 But as this anecdote was related after we had been re- 
 galed by the cable-graphists, I retail it with some hesitation, 
 and for two reasons. First, because the narrator was, I think, 
 too merry to be exact ; and secondly, because, if accurate, I 
 don't like telling tales out of school of our kind hosts at 
 St. Vincent.
 
 72 
 
 "HOW 1 FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 ST. VINCENT TO PERNAMBUCO. 
 
 November 1st. — 2 p.m. We are leaving. As the bower 
 
 anchor comes up the ship 
 swings round, and we dip 
 our flag to the Himalaya. 
 2.30 p.m. — The steamer 
 Gulf of Suez, from Valpa- 
 raiso, is on our port side. 
 She belongs to what is 
 known as the Gulf Line. 
 Starting from Greenock 
 they call at Glasgow, and 
 go thence direct to Valpa- 
 raiso, returning by the 
 same route. 
 
 The Himalaya. 
 
 3 p.m. — I have been trying to get my thin flannels, the 
 heat being very great — the temperature in my cabin 86°. 
 But they were packed for me in a bag fastened by a puzzle 
 lock, which has well deserved its name. This lock was a 
 new idea on the part of my people, and one has to be careful 
 not to forget the word used. " Choose a short word," I said, 
 " and don't fail to tell me what it is." But in the hurry 
 of leaving I only got the " key " as the train left Waterloo. 
 " Don't forget ' Mouse-trap,' " said the packer of the bag, 
 "something" (I couldn't make out what) "and letters."
 
 ST. VINCENT TO PERNAMBUCO. 73 
 
 " The letters," I supposed, had reference to my writing from 
 certain points. "Well, if I spent a minute, I spent three 
 hours yesterday spelling " mouse-trap " in every imaginable- 
 way to that incorruptible-Robespierre-of-a-lock, till I got to 
 think there was no such word. I interviewed all sorts and 
 conditions of men, women, and children as to the spelling — 
 all in vain. 
 
 This morning, first thing, I was at it again with the same 
 endearing expressions ; and once more I wooed it this after- 
 noon, but it remained inexorable. At last a little girl of 
 six has solved the riddle — for a riddle it was. In a moment 
 the whole idea came to mind, " don't forget mouse-trap in 
 three letters," i.e. cat ! Oh, what a watch-dog that " cat " 
 has been ! However, five minutes after, the cat was literally 
 " out of the bag," and so were my flannels. 
 
 7 p.m. — At dinner we had fresh oranges and bananas 
 from St. Vincent — the former ripe though green ; but I 
 prefer the St. Michael's. The bananas were not so very 
 much richer in flavour than those we get in England, but 
 their warm juices seemed still circulating, and their hue 
 was dazzlingly golden, which made all the difference. 
 
 8 p.m. — All deck-chairs are stowed away for dancing by 
 the electric light, to the violin of the butcher and the banjo 
 of one of the quarter-masters. Not too much band, but 
 just band enough. Some Spanish ladies bound for Buenos 
 Aires danced very prettily and with marvellous spirit. They 
 had, of course, never met their partners before, but, for all 
 that, they danced as though they had been united from birth 
 like the " Siamese Twins." 
 
 Splendidly matched, too, were a Scotch gentleman and 
 his charming young wife. But to my thinking the most 
 graceful, refined, and accomplished woman at this, as indeed
 
 74 
 
 " EOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 in all she did, was the wife of an engineer bearing an unmis- 
 takably "Welsh name, who was returning to Monte Video. 
 
 Many more would have danced, I think, if some re- 
 sponsible person (the Captain, preferably) had started a 
 quadrille to bring the people together. The Captain's 
 presence is a sort of guarantee of propriety. But one 
 
 must not expect too much 
 
 tA^^^ ^^fc*l fr° m an y man - Captain 
 flBkr^^t^ H0^ Spooner has the name of 
 VlA « being excellent 
 
 i™frbflj B B\ man, and one ought to be 
 
 f^p B m\ s;lt ' s *' ,M '' an( 3 more than 
 satisfied, with tliat. 
 
 10 p.m. — I " turned- 
 in " to the strains of the 
 dual band and soon fell 
 asleep beneath the ball- 
 room, to the rhythm of unresting feet. 
 
 November 2nd [Sunday). — About 2 a.m., I was awakened 
 by a peculiar fluttering of something cold and wet under 
 my knees, as 1 lay on my back with my feet drawn up. At 
 first I thought it was a dream, but on turning up the light, 
 what was my astonishment to find a live and very lively 
 flying-fish capering about all over the bunk, which was the 
 top one on the far side from the port at which it must have 
 entered. The light woke both my cabin-companions, who 
 were almost as astounded as I was. 
 
 10 a.m. — The news has spread through the ship, and 
 many and various are the explanations about the flying-fish. 
 Among them is the theory that the two Brazilians, one an 
 old man, the other an invalid, put the thing there to frighten 
 me. But the prize solution is that I took it to bed with me 
 
 " The rhythm of unresting feet.'
 
 ST. VINCENT TO PERNAMBUCO. 
 
 75 
 
 to frighten them. Well, the man who can believe that any- 
 one out of Hanwell and going about loose will put a cold, 
 wet, live flying-fish under his legs at 2 a.m. to frighten two 
 other fellows, total strangers to him, will believe anything. 
 However, every one to his choice. Meanwhile, as the incident 
 seemed to be doubted, I this morning got my friend Mr. 
 Dane to copy in Portuguese a certificate, which I wrote in 
 English, and I have now the signatures and addresses of 
 the corroborators affixed to the record, signed, sealed, and 
 delivered, of the facts as I state them. 
 
 Armed with this conviction, as I thought it, I waited 
 on the unbelievers, feeling sure of a good haul of converts. 
 The deuce is in it, I said, but 
 now they must yield. But he 
 must have been in it, for they 
 didn't budge. First, they treated 
 it as a forgery, and when driven 
 from that ground by the signa- 
 tories themselves, they finally 
 decided I had hypnotized my 
 witnesses. Hypnotism, the 
 modern euphemism for witch- 
 craft ! Heaven help me ! if this had happened a hundred 
 years ago, I and my flying-fish would have been grilled alive. 
 
 Even Pog saw the absurdity of dubbing me " practical 
 joker" and "hypnotist" too, and contented himself with 
 asking some reasonable questions as to the distance of the 
 bunk from the port, the size of the fish relative to the 
 opening through which he was stated to have come, etc., all 
 of which I answered. After shutting his eyes for a moment 
 to obtain mental abstraction, he said slowly, " Fish, twelve 
 inches; port, sixteen inches; ship going sixteen knots, allow- 
 
 "Thou com'st in such a question- 
 able shape."
 
 76 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 ing for windage, etc. Hum ! Well, if you'll do the same 
 thing to-night under test conditions, I for one will withdraw 
 my unfavourable comments." " And what are they ? " I 
 asked, with some asperity (for Pog, left to himself, would, 
 I believe, have credited my story if I'd produced a boot-jack 
 as the flying-fish). " Why, sir, I was saying to these gentle- 
 men, that you and the two Brazilians were either moon- 
 struck through the ' opening of the port' or drunk from a 
 like cause." 
 
 But for the pun, I should have challenged that man. 
 As it was, instead of sword or pistol I called to my aid 
 two old saws and reasoned thus : — " ' A man that will make a 
 pun will pick a pocket. ' ' Sooner or later the thief goes to 
 jail.' / will not kill him ; I will leave him to his fate ! " 
 Besides, this being Sunday, officers and men were parading 
 on deck preliminary to service in the dining-saloon, and no 
 duels are allowed on Sunday on board the Clyde; no, nor 
 games of any kind, not even chess, in public. 
 
 Mr. Ritchie told me of a certain captain who, having 
 forbidden " bull " on Sunday, was caught playing chess in 
 his cabin. On this apparent inconsistency being pointed 
 out, and permission being again requested, he replied, " Yes, 
 that's reasonable ; you may play ' bull,' I think," — and then 
 added, as they were hurrying off for the apparatus — " er — in 
 your own cabins, of course." 
 
 But it is 10.20 a.m., and the roll is being called, as 
 officers and men muster in line along the port side of the 
 promenade-deck. At 10.30 we all go below — I notice the 
 temperature is 80° in the saloon. At the upper left-hand 
 corner of the table stands the Captain, with his book on 
 a cushion covered with the Union Jack, and on his right 
 the Chief Officer. First there is the opening hymn, and
 
 ST. VINCENT TO PERNAMBUCO. 
 
 77 
 
 then follows the ordinary church service (minus the 
 Litany) which is read by the Captain ; the lessons falling 
 to the share of my friend, Mr. Constan- 
 tine, the Chief Officer. The hymn I 
 shall never forget, the men seemed so 
 to revel in it. It was " Onward, Chris- 
 tian soldiers," to the tune known as 
 " St. Alban." What immense voices 
 the crew had ! What chest notes ! And 
 how they swung along with that pecu- 
 liar fo'cas'le chant of theirs ! 
 
 A musical friend described their singing of "Onward, Chris- 
 tian soldiers" in these touching words : — "The final syllable 
 of the first line is slurred to a note high up, and then in a 
 vague ' arpeggio ' down to an indefinite bass note, as it were 
 feeling after the ' tonic ; ' and the end of the second line is 
 similarly embellished with a suggestion of the ' dominant.' " 
 My knowledge of this subject is limited to occasional per- 
 formances on the triangle and Jew's harp, but I should 
 think you could get my friend's prescription made up at any 
 respectable chemist's ; anyhow, there are the ingredients, and 
 nothing short of trying it for yourself will ever convey any 
 idea of its droll effect. The organist, too, added to the 
 humour of the thing; for, I suppose from a desire to in 
 some measure hide the peculiar fo'cas'le grace-note at the 
 end of each line, he introduced an end chord to accompany 
 it. The whole production was unicpiie and delicious beyond 
 description. 
 
 My place was next to Pog, whose singing was the 
 thinnest thing I ever heard come out of a man of his 
 dimensions — as out of proportion as the elephant's shrill 
 trumpet to his unwieldy body. He had the voice of a girl
 
 78 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 of ten — not a day more — and as he held his head up, his 
 double chin vibrated like the throat of a crowing cock. 
 
 When service was over — it occupied only about forty 
 minutes — and we were preparing to go, the Yankee, who had 
 come, as he said, " out of compliment to the Captain," caught 
 sight of a blue bookmark hanging from the Captain's book, 
 with certain large white letters on it : "I thought the 
 Captain's initials were J. D.S.," he whispered to us. "Mis- 
 print," said Pog under his breath and without moving a 
 muscle. This explanation seemed quite to settle the Yankee, 
 and I must admit it fairly settled me. 
 
 Noon.— Lat. 11° 45' K, long. 26° 59' W. Eun, 330 
 miles, i.e. for twenty-two hours only, as we left St. Vincent 
 at 2 p.m. yesterday. 
 
 3.30 p.m. — I have been trying to chat with the Purser, an 
 Irishman and a rattling good fellow, but he was casting his 
 books, and, though I tried every subject I could think of, 
 nothing seemed to interest him. Yet sometimes he is such 
 a nice fellow ! My smartest flashes seemed not to move 
 him this afternoon. Every now and then he would look up, 
 his pen would stop at some figure, and slowly and sadly he 
 would mutter "one — thirty-nine." Presently he would say, 
 with what I took for a smile, " three — forty-seven" and so 
 on. This occurred many times, and at last, just as I was 
 starting a dissertation on the applicability of the binomial 
 theorem and the differential calculus to the ordinary purposes 
 of the counting-house — as I thought, a most apposite theme 
 — he said, "four — twenty-five" so loudly that I thought he 
 must mean it was within five minutes of afternoon tea-time. 
 So, thanking him for the warning, I left. 
 
 His clock, an American, which I noticed had the days of 
 the month around the face, and a pointer to denote each
 
 ST. VINCENT TO PEBNAMBUCO. 
 
 79 
 
 day as it comes — a useful reminder at sea, where you lack 
 the help of the daily paper — stood at a quarter to four as I 
 quitted his office ; but I felt that he knew best. However, 
 on inquiry, I found tea would not be served for three-quarters 
 of an hour. So I suppose he made a mistake in calculating 
 the longitude. Mem. Never try to compute differences of 
 time while casting, or you may, like the Purser, deprive 
 yourself of three-quarters of an hour's interesting and 
 instructive conversation. 
 
 4.30 p.m. — A large sailing vessel on the starboard bow. 
 She has signalled with her pennant flown from the mizzen- 
 mast, and we have replied, hoisting our name indicated by 
 three flags — yellow at top, red white and blue in the middle, 
 and at bottom a white pennant with a red circle in the centre. 
 She has hoisted four flags to spell hers, but the distance 
 prevents our reading them. She is thought to be an 
 American, laden with timber for Eio. 
 
 5 p.m. — So far we have had neither boat nor fire drill, 
 and as a consequence certain thoughts have been troubling 
 me in connection with our 
 
 emigrants. Many and many 
 a time, strolling on deck 
 on a hot night, have I 
 looked down into the little 
 Portuguese town astern, in 
 the very bowels of the ship, 
 and never, I think, without 
 my thoughts wandering 
 away in mid-ocean medita- 
 tions of the following 
 kind : — Was it forty boxes 
 of matches — I won't be positive, but I believe so — that the 
 
 Portuguese emigrants ou board 
 the Clyde.
 
 80 "nOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 Captain took from these thoughtless people, our first day 
 out from Lisbon ? And if so, can one feel sure that all were 
 captured ; ay, or half ? And these Portuguese are for ever 
 smoking cigarettes, and pitching the matches away while 
 still alight. The utter carelessness of these people ! 
 
 Besides, we know that the unimaginative, those who can't 
 foresee a danger, are often the most shiftless when it stares 
 them in the face. Suppose at this instant smoke and flame 
 were to issue from that hold, what would be the wisest thing 
 to do ? Not, surely, to ring that firebell and arouse, together 
 with the crew, five hundred panic-stricken people to impede 
 their efforts. Yet how could one collect the crew alone ? 
 
 The truth is, everybody, passengers and emigrants alike, 
 need to be made familiar with the appliances for life-saving, 
 and we ought not to leave all to chance at the eleventh 
 hour. Fire is bad, and so is shipwreck ; but is not the 
 terror these disasters create a factor also to be reckoned 
 with ? It is hardly too much to say that fear is the most 
 potent element of the three, for its presence baffles and 
 paralyzes efforts which otherwise would avert a catastrophe. 
 
 " Fear nothing but fear," some one has said. It is the 
 arch-enemy of peace, afloat and ashore. With fear, as with 
 everything else, I am persuaded, prevention is better than 
 cure. Accustom all on board to the use of fire-hose and the 
 boats when no danger threatens, and thus will you train 
 them to meet it under the best conditions if and when it 
 comes. That Irishman was not so far out when he said of 
 his pair of new boots, " I must wear these a few times or 
 I shan't be able to get them on." 
 
 7 p.m. — A North German Lloyd steamer from Buenos 
 Aires, on our starboard bow, has been signalling us. We 
 ran up our flag, but for some reason didn't " break it," as
 
 ST. VINCENT TO PERNAMBUCO. 
 
 the sailors say, i.e. shake it out. She is on her way to 
 St. Vincent, homeward bound. 
 
 "We are approaching the Doldrums, where the refreshing 
 breeze we have been enjoying all day will leave us. This is 
 the region where sailing vessels roll listlessly at times for 
 weeks together ; but our engines will drive us through in 
 quick time. After that, we should feel the comfort of the 
 south-east trades, on whose favouring breezes all vessels 
 rely, when bound for the Cape of Good Hope. At this 
 moment we are over two thousand five hundred miles from 
 home, and two days off the " line." 
 
 7.30 p.m. — It has turned cooler, and the wind is rising. 
 A Mother Carey's chicken has been blown on board. The 
 Quarter-master says it is raining hard behind us ; but we 
 are out of reach of that storm. He says, " When the breeze 
 comes before the rain, you may get under easy sail again ; 
 but when the rain comes before the breeze, you may shorten 
 sail as soon as you please." This is a sailing-ship proverb, 
 of course, but it shows that our prospects are good. 
 
 8 p.m. — It is raining heavily ; but coming after the 
 breeze, all is well. Had a long talk with my dinner vis-a-vis, 
 Mr. Courtney, who, after seven years of sheep-farming in 
 the country " camp," as they call it — west of Buenos Aires 
 — which did not pay, turned his attention to wire-fencing and 
 well-sinking, which did. Whereupon he invested his profits 
 in a well-wooded estate of nine miles in extent — the twenty 
 thousand trees upon which will, sooner or later, as the timber- 
 buyers reach his property, turn him in one pound apiece. 
 At present, these eventual customers are some six miles 
 townwards from him; but already the property has been 
 improved by the Western Eailway Company having cut 
 through it during his absence in England. He says water can 
 
 G
 
 82 "IIOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 always be found at a depth of three feet, and is obtained by- 
 wells peculiar in construction — ten yards long and two or 
 three wide. The pumping is done by a horse which, ridden 
 by a boy, draws a rope and lifts the water in a valved box, 
 whence it flows into a trough. 
 
 An ostrich farm of African imported birds was tried near 
 him, but failed. Starting with one hundred pairs, worth 
 £100 each, they finished in a couple of years with but eighty 
 pairs. The plucking, he told me, makes the birds very 
 tender, and they are consequently very savage at that period, 
 so that the attendants have to be armed with three-pronged 
 
 forks. If caught by the 
 tail, however, the ostrich 
 can be steered at pleasure ! 
 This amused me much, but 
 the gallantry of the crea- 
 tures pleased me even 
 
 "Stop'er! Turn 'er starn !' : mQrQ M fcheir fiercest 
 
 they are docile with women, who can enter their enclosures 
 with impunity when no man dares do so. 
 
 November 3rd. — The only deadly specimen of the tarantula 
 spider I have ever seen was in the British Museum, and it 
 was quite a small thing. Mr. Courtney tells me in the 
 Argentine they reach the size of a five-shilling piece, and 
 are poisonous. The hand and arm of a man who was bitten 
 swelled enormously, and his life was only saved by the 
 frequent and free use of brandy. The drink of the country, 
 he says, is Cana (pronounced Kannia), a white rum made 
 from sugar-canes. 
 
 11 a.m.— Several schools of porpoises have been disporting 
 themselves for the last half-hour, rolling and playing quite 
 close to the ship.
 
 ST. VINCENT TO PERNAMBUCO. 83 
 
 "We have just had our first experience of tropical rain — 
 a drenching storm which in a few minutes flooded the deck 
 all over three inches deep. 
 
 The news has reached us of a case of measles among the 
 emigrants, scaring all who have children, notably the Scotch 
 lady with her first baby. 
 
 Noon.— Lat. 6° 14' K, long. 28° 49' W. Run, 350 miles. 
 
 2 p.m. — At lunch the great heat was rendered still greater 
 by closing the ports, to meet the wishes of people who feared 
 the spread of the measles. 
 Camphor and other pre- 
 ventives were in great re- /^j£f ^%y (% ^IfS 
 quest. Pog had a piece 
 at which he took surrepti- 
 tious sniffs under cover ¥W/^~jjhm Qffl™/ 
 of his handkerchief, but 
 as he never pulled out 
 
 the one without dropping I'liftl ffl/ IY 'j ' (l\ 
 the other, it was a very 
 
 open secret. On inquir- 
 
 t ,, ,, ,> "Camphor? Xot mine, I assure you." 
 
 ing how the eye- water * 
 
 answered, he said he thought very well so far ; the eye was 
 
 certainly better. To my question whether he still took it 
 
 the same way, he said : " Well, not exactly. I mix it at 
 
 lunch with my whiskey." 
 
 3 p.m.— I've been looking at the emigrants, and thinking 
 how difficult it must be in such a crowd to prevent the 
 measles spreading, and what discomfort it must cause them 
 all. Now I am thinking what annoyance it will be to us, 
 too, for it means quarantine sooner or later at some of the 
 ports. 
 
 One must have a big bump of philanthropy if, seeing all
 
 84 " HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 the dirty tricks of these people day by day, he gives them 
 all his pity and keeps none for himself. I'm afraid my 
 charity begins at home, and — well, is very domesticated. 
 The keystone of John Stuart Mill's political economy was, 
 " the greatest good to the greatest number." Since his 
 day, some one has added a rider thereto, that the greatest 
 number is " No. 1." 
 
 My friend Mr. Ollendorff has just been telling me of 
 some utterly vile Brazilian practices. Mr. Dane agrees, and 
 adds " they are the refuse of Portugal." Brazil has long 
 been and is still, he says, not only the receptacle for the 
 poor, but also the " far country " of the " prodigal " sons of 
 Portugal ; with this difference, that no fatted calf awaits 
 his return, be he rich or poor. He is considered con- 
 taminated, and should he bring home a Brazilian wife, she 
 would not be received, no, not if she was armoured with 
 six-inch plates of eighteen-carat gold.* Well, things might 
 have gone otherwise if the original "prodigal son" had 
 brought home a daughter -in-law. We don't know. 
 
 Pog hearing us discuss this, and being nothing if not 
 critical, has just pointed out an error in the parable which 
 the new version has not rectified. He thought that, instead 
 of " fain would he have filled his belly with the husks 
 that the swine did eat," the last part should read, "husks 
 similar to those the swine did eat." " 1 may be hypercri- 
 tical," he said, "but of course the son didn't want to eat 
 the identical husks that the swine ate ! " 
 
 * This, I have reason to believe, is greatly exaggerated. A good afithorify 
 tells me that the triie-bnrii Brazilian holds the Portuguese in undi ? guised 
 contempt. The reader who is given to " putting two and two together" will 
 observe that the one statement in this case cancels the other, like adding 
 minus two to plus two. Well, that only shows that two and two do not 
 invariablv make four. Doesn't it? — C. A. A.
 
 ST. VINCENT TO PERNAMBUCO. 
 
 85 
 
 There is generally tit-for-tat in life. " Great fleas have 
 little fleas upon their backs to bite 'em, and little fleas have 
 lesser fleas, and so ad infinitum." Just as the Portuguese 
 treats the Brazilian, so is he in turn treated by the Spaniard. 
 And it is on ship-board one sees these racial distinctions to 
 perfection. The Brazilian is, as it were, the "country cousin " 
 of the Portuguese, who in like manner is deemed utterly " bad 
 form" by the Spaniard. And these gradations are rigidly 
 observed on board, where the three nationalities are for ever 
 meeting and mingling, but never mix. 
 
 8 p.m. — To-night the Spanish Argentines, young and old 
 
 I fl4, (f$ r^/Wf ■ 
 
 
 '~>**////i 
 
 Nursery rhymes. 
 
 have been singing patriotic songs, and now they are clapping 
 their hands to some seemingly well-known and humorous 
 nursery rhymes, the children's merry voices predominating ; 
 and although most of the tunes are common to both countries, 
 not a Portuguese has lifted his voice to join in them. They 
 and the Brazilians, in separate cliques and coteries, stood
 
 8G "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 aloof, moody and embarrassed, to the evident delight of the 
 dashing Spaniards, who are as showy, self-asserting, vivacious, 
 and passionate as the others are quiet, retiring, inert, and 
 lethargic. 
 
 In dress, too, the one is lavish and likes colour, wears 
 hats with graceful curves about the face, and toys and 
 gesticulates with his gossamer cigarette, much as his lady 
 with her fan. The other heaves his chest and draws his 
 full-flavoured cigar stolidly through to the bitter end, as he 
 sits for ever doubled up on his deck-chair, with his head 
 encased in a plain black-silk smoking-cap, the ugliest design 
 that ever entered a head or that ever a head entered. 
 
 The difference in temperament between the Argentine and 
 the Brazilian is traceable, no doubt, to the difference in 
 the climates, which a passenger, resident in Buenos Aires, 
 compared respectively to Heaven and Hades. Our Yankee 
 passenger to the Argentine, who holds Bio to be peerless 
 among cities, and whose friends are numerous there, on 
 hearing this said, " Well, sir, if you ask me, I only echo an 
 American sentiment when I say ' Heaven for climate, Hades 
 for company.' " Apropos, I may mention that Pernambuco, 
 which we are now approaching, is literally — according to 
 some authorities — " Gate of Hell." 
 
 The heat in the Brazils soon induces, even in Europeans, 
 listless, lazy habits, and they would become no better than 
 the natives, but for the trips they make home every few 
 years to brace themselves up. "Whereas an Argentine, with a 
 climate resembling ours, is in temperament also more or less 
 English. A resident in Rio tells me that, during the hottest 
 weather, the trams, which by reason of the draught are 
 ordinarily the coolest places — the very paradises of these 
 burning regions — are mere gridiron tortures. The current
 
 ST. VINCENT TO PEENAMBUCO. 87 
 
 of air as it meets your face, flays and blisters it frightfully. 
 You might as well take a chair in front of a blast-furnace. 
 The only way for business men is to begin early, and, finish- 
 ing between two and three, take the train right away to 
 their cool residences in the hills behind the city. 
 
 November 4th. — 7 a.m. Wanting a shave badly, and 
 having brought with me a " Star " razor, a small blade, so 
 shielded that you can't cut yourself, which I bought on the 
 recommendation of Oliver Wendell Holmes in the last of his 
 many good gifts to the world, " Our Hundred Days in 
 Europe," I set to work and scraped myself well-nigh raw 
 but without removing my beard. While thus torturing 
 myself, in came one of my Brazilian cabin-companions, who, 
 seeing my misery, got out one exactly like mine, which he 
 stropped and lent me. It did the work in no time ; what's 
 more, the deed was painless, and I certainly never had an 
 easier or a more effective shave in my life. How well has 
 it been said that " one • Star ' differeth from another ' Star,' ' 
 etc. ! I could only thank this good man by signs, but I think 
 he understood that I was grateful. 
 
 8 a.m. — My sleep must have been sound, for I felt nothing 
 of a stiff gale that sprang on us in the night, catching many 
 of our ports open and drenching the berths near them. 
 
 11 a.m. — Have just had an interesting half-hour with the 
 Chief Officer, Mr. Constantine. After discussing the ship 
 and her belongings, we got on latitudes. Having read Dr. 
 Bell's entertaining account of his voyage up the Nile, in 
 which he speaks of seeing the " Southern Cross," either at 
 Luxor or at Assouan, I amused myself trying, with the 
 Chief Officer's tables and kind assistance, to find the highest 
 northern latitude at which that constellation is visible. We 
 found it would be 1° above the horizon in latitude 26° N.,
 
 88 
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 which is about the latitude of Assouan ; also that it would 
 be visible in these latitudes to-morrow about 5 a.m. 
 
 On many occasions I have been indebted to Mr. Constantine 
 for courtesies and information of all kinds, always accorded 
 me with the utmost willingness and good humour, despite an 
 ignorance on my part of things nautical which even I can 
 now recall as simply appalling. 
 
 The sea is of the most heavenly blue, the weather glorious, 
 the fierceness of the sun's heat being tempered by a delicious 
 
 breeze. But although we 
 are within five hours of the 
 equator, one cannot take even 
 this as a criterion of one's 
 ability to stand tropical heat, 
 for it will be hotter, I hear, 
 
 '■■■■.. ■.,i««^/. 
 
 Noon.— Lot. 0° 52' K, long. 
 30° 46' W. Eun, 344 miles. 
 Pernambuco, 592 miles. 
 
 4 p.m. — It was fortunate I 
 had to take this higher-priced 
 cabin. The other to Lisbon 
 did very well in the cool 
 weather, but in this intense 
 It's just like heat my cabin, well forward 
 on the starboard bows, where 
 one gets the fullest benefit of the breeze the vessel makes, 
 is far preferable. 
 
 We are crossing the line at this very moment (while eight 
 bells is sounding), as nearly as can be ascertained. The old 
 practices of tarring, etc., that long obtained on sailing vessels, 
 and were welcome reliefs, no doubt, to the tedium of the Dol- 
 
 Seeing the equator. 
 
 the photo of it in the map."
 
 ST. VINCENT TO PEItNAMBUCO. 89 
 
 drums, find no place in these twenty-knot steamers. Harm- 
 less little tricks alone survive, the puny descendants of those 
 giant jokes. One may get an unlooked-for splash of water, 
 another an " apple-pie bed," and so on, but nothing more. 
 Even the little sell of tying a hair across a telescope, that 
 led a young lady once to think she had " seen the equator," 
 claims no victims in these school-board days, so no one cares 
 to try it. 
 
 Another relic of the sailing ship now extinct as the Dodo 
 — is shark-catching. This is a fair sample of the sort of 
 juvenile questions I used to bother the long-suffering Chief 
 Officer with. True, we are not bored to death as formerly 
 were those becalmed on a sailing ship ; but is that any 
 reason why we should not see how a shark is caught ? It 
 never seemed to occur to my belated mind that you might 
 almost as well count on your legs to catch up a fast train, as 
 expect a shark to catch up a bait going twenty miles' #n hour 
 through the water. When a steamer captures a shark it is 
 in port, not at sea. At Pernambuco, for instance, we may 
 see some. 
 
 9 p.m. — Nothing can exceed the liquid glory of the ship's 
 path through the sea to-night. Standing over the screw in 
 the darkness, the seething waters appear ablaze with phos- 
 phorescent light; huge masses, like jelly-fish on fire, as 
 big as pumpkins, are hurling through the boiling waters. 
 For a good mile behind we leave a trail of molten gold. 
 Without question, this is the grandest sight I have yet 
 witnessed. 
 
 I turned in at 10 p.m. so as to be ready for my early 
 appointment with " Mr. Cross." 
 
 November 5th. — 10 a.m. — I was up at 4 a.m. to see the 
 Southern Cross. As usual, the look-out man, whose busi-
 
 90 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 ness is with ships, rocks, and other terrestrial objects, knew 
 next to nothing of the heavenly bodies. " What name did 
 you say, sir ? " " Southern Cross ! " " Oh, that there's him, 
 lookee, off the weather bow ; he ain't much, is he ? Why, 
 he ain't a patch on the Bear. I call him a 'umbuggin' 
 thing." I counted the stars, noted their position, and sure 
 enough they did form a cross, but larger than I had expected 
 to find it. Still, I gazed with interest, if not with rapture. 
 
 Presently something came to my aid. A friend who had 
 seen it when coming to England, told me that, seen from 
 his berth on the far side from the port, the Cross just filled 
 that opening. This settled it, for on going below I found 
 the look-out man's Cross would not test my friend's bear, 
 or rather bear my friend's test. It was the Chief Officer's 
 watch, I knew, so off I went to the bridge. " No," said he, 
 " that's called the False Cross, but it is the guide to the 
 True Cross. There he lies, much lower down, leaning at 
 an angle of about 15° out of the perpendicular, and with his 
 chief star on the horizon." Fig. 1 gives the relative positions 
 and comparative magnitude of the stars, and Fig. 2 a rough 
 idea of the constellation's appearance in the sky : the points 
 of light much enlarged, of course. 
 
 2* 
 
 2 * 
 
 Fig. 1. — Southern Cross. 
 The figures indicate the accepted 
 
 magnitudes of the stars. Fig. 2.— Southern Cross. 
 
 Alas ! how often have man's best efforts resulted in error, 
 like this little crusade of mine ! "What a text for a sermon ! " 
 said Pog, when I told him of my mistake. " Oh, wanderer !
 
 ST. VINCENT TO PEENAMBVCO. 91 
 
 Wouldst thou find the one true Cross? Seek guidance 
 from the Chief above ; ask not another ignorant as thyself. 
 And from the false Cross, on which thine eye is fixed, He 
 shall point thee to the true, and show thee how to tell it 
 at a glance for evermore. He knows them all, and sees 
 them all as thou canst never see them from thy finite 
 plane." Yes, I'm sure Pog was made for the Church. 
 
 And now I will be candid. As a cross, or even as a con- 
 stellation, it disappointed me. Perhaps I expected too much 
 in return for my early rising. I know I used to think the 
 blackberries small at 4 a.m. that pleased me well enough in 
 the afternoon. The truth is, as the Chief Officer put it, it 
 owes its distinction not to its beauty, but simply to its situa- 
 tion. Its one bright star, "Alpha Cruris," is the nearest to 
 the South Pole, and so does pole-star duty in all nautical 
 calculations. 
 
 But, however one may decry its pretensions, one meets 
 it everywhere in the south, in the Brazilian, Argentine, and 
 Oriental republics, figuring in coins, flags, and devices of all 
 sorts. Perhaps of them all, the prettiest setting of it is to 
 be met with in the really beautiful and only recently minted 
 twenty-reis piece (or half-penny), of the New Brazilian 
 Bepublic, where it is given the place of honour within a 
 small central circle. In the centre of a circle on the obverse 
 side of the coin is its value " 20 reis," and around this the 
 thrifty legend, " vintem poupado, vintem 
 gaxho " — our well-known proverb, " A 
 penny saved is a penny gained." 
 Here and There. 
 
 No wealth will buy a single ray 
 To light our foggy days, 
 Yet litre, if you a ha'penny pay, 
 They'll give you twenty reis. 
 
 Twenty-] eis piece.
 
 92 "IWW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 All must agree with the look-out man, that in a literal 
 sense the Cross " ain't a patch on the Bear." It was never 
 intended to be ; they are much too far apart. But even 
 figuratively, as he of course used the expression, T am inclined 
 to think with him. 
 
 Orion, which was a perfect blaze of splendour directly 
 over our masthead while I was playing at cross-purposes 
 with the true Crux and the false, was incomparably grander. 
 Indeed, what with Sirius like a moon, the moon herself 
 well-nigh as bright as the sun, and Orion fairly dazzling 
 to look upon, all seen through this pellucid air and backed 
 by these blue southern skies, I thought the heavens glorious 
 beyond anything to be seen in northern latitudes, and was 
 amply repaid for my early rising, if not exactly in the way 
 I had expected. 
 
 I have been watching Sirius, and trying to grasp some 
 idea of what his distance must be for his light to take sixteen 
 years to reach us. This way of putting it always brings 
 home to me the practical infinity of a hundred billions of 
 miles better than the figures. A string of noughts, with most 
 of us, counts for nothing. 
 
 A hundred billions ! How many of us realize what one 
 billion means ? That no man can count it up. That if 
 Adam had got through a hundred a minute, worked all day 
 and night and lived till now, he would not have reached a 
 billion or anything like it. And how many a minute could 
 he count, say of such numbers as 199,999,999 ? 
 
 A change has come over the eastern sky. Ten minutes 
 ago the blue horizon faded into grey, and I beheld the first 
 faint rose tints warm the grey to pale amethyst, and, growing 
 richer here and there, deepen and redden into tongues of 
 flame. The far-away soft white clouds are now suffused as
 
 ST. VINCENT TO PERNAMBUCO. 93 
 
 from a distant conflagration, while those along the sea-line 
 blush crimson as they open wide their gates. Now come the 
 heralds resplendent and of every hue, and as they pass and 
 sweep to right and left and troop beside the empty throne, 
 up from his couch of royal blue, in silent majesty, rises the 
 King of Day. 
 
 Water, at all times a beautiful object, is, I think, at sunrise 
 at its best : 
 
 " Through every swift vicissitude 
 Of changeful time, unchanged it has stood," 
 
 and at every daybreak seems newly created, the sun as it 
 were personifying the " Spirit of God moving on the face of 
 the waters." 
 
 10 a.m. — We are passing on the north side of the island of 
 Fernando de Norhona, a convict settlement of Brazil ; a 
 desolate spot about three hundred miles from Pernambuco. 
 Such formerly was the pestilential character of this island, 
 that .ships would go out of their way to avoid passing it to 
 leeward. The most noticeable feature is a mountain 
 resembling a lighthouse, which I hear can be seen forty-five 
 miles away. In the valleys everywhere were to be seen 
 palm and cocoanut trees, sheltered by the hills, which 
 looked to be about five hundred feet high. In the centre, 
 under the shadow of a hillside, lay the few houses we could 
 discern — but our glasses failed to show us any of the 
 inhabitants. At the western extremity we could see, 
 without a glass, what must be an immense natural tunnel, 
 passing so straight through a hill that the light at the far 
 side opening was visible to us on board. 
 
 Noon.— Lat. 4° 16' S., long. 32° 40' W. Eun, 328 miles. 
 
 5 p.m. — We have been enjoying ourselves once more at 
 Pog's expense. He seems to have been seized with a craze
 
 94 
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 that the "murderer" we've got on board escaped at St. 
 Vincent, so we have been making the ghost walk again, by 
 the aid of my coat and hat and the friend who — ought one 
 to say resembled me ? — no, resembles what I was. 
 
 This time Pog and I together watched, and I had the 
 greatest difficulty in preventing his capturing my friend and 
 "double" in flagrante delicto, that is to say, in my coat 
 and hat. And when we spoke calmly and with indifference 
 — as, being in the secret, it was easy to do — he fairly went for 
 us. " Well, gentlemen," he said severely, " I am astounded 
 at your conduct ! Here is a man about whom the Captain, 
 the Doctor, and the Purser know nothing — for I have 
 elicited so much from them all ; a man who, after two days 
 among us as a saloon passenger, suddenly disappears at 
 
 Lisbon, to reappear a day after 
 among the second-class passengers — ■ 
 where he has no berth, mind, for 
 that too I have ascertained. Detec- 
 tives are on board watching this 
 stowaway, we are told ; they don't 
 arrest him ; why don't we ? Are 
 we to wait till he scuttles the 
 ship, or at best walks ashore to- 
 morrow at Pernambuco ? We have 
 no treaty, you know, with the 
 Brazils ; to-morrow, therefore, it 
 will be too late." 
 
 This speech just gave my 
 " double " time to return my coat 
 Whereupon we all solemnly made 
 a tour of inspection through the second-class quarters, 
 headed by the redoubtable Pog, whose pluck, I must admit, 
 
 " Why don't we ? " 
 and hat and join us.
 
 ST. VINCENT TO PERNAMBUOO. 95 
 
 moulted no feather during our search for the " timid 
 murderer." 
 
 9 p.m.— "Wanting a game of chess with Mr. Ritchie, and 
 seeing Pog, who hates the game, looking sad at the prospect, 
 I promised in our joint names, Mr. Ritchie assenting, that 
 the winner should pledge himself to catch the stowaway. 
 
 The bait took so well, that Pog has watched the game 
 throughout with intense interest. As the end approached, 
 however, and a draw was seen to be probable, there was no 
 holding him. He declared a draw would be ridiculous, and 
 offered to take either game himself. But as this would 
 certainly have resulted in a win for Mr. 
 Ritchie, Pog being an indifferent player, 
 and in Ms having to capture Pog's bete 
 noire, the offer was declined with 
 thanks. 
 
 I have just left Pog drinking his -but\^ enjoy- 
 
 grog in the smoking-room, the scene of lng lt- " 
 
 our fray, but, as he pathetically said, " not enjoying it by 
 reason of the crass stupidity of mankind." 
 
 November 6th. — 5.55 a.m. They are letting go the 
 anchor; we are at Pernambuco. The view is charming 
 as we enter the passage close by the fort built on the rocks, 
 the wood-clad hills rising gradually one above another to the 
 horizon. 
 
 The ancient name of the entire place was Olinda, and 
 one of the suburbs — away to the right some three miles — 
 still bears that name. Of this outlying part only a few 
 lofty buildings, rearing their heads above the trees, are 
 visible from the ship ; all the rest of Olinda, though built 
 like Lisbon on the hill-sides, is embowered among palms and 
 orange-droves.
 
 96 "BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 9 a.m. — Some churches in Pernambuco are prominent 
 objects from the ship. The one with a St. Paul's-like dome 
 must be very large. That building, of sentry-box pattern, 
 with the half-ball on the top shining like burnished gold, is, 
 I'm told, the Admiralty. 
 
 Foam is beating against an immense coral-reef, called the 
 Kecife, lying between us and the land. This reef extends 
 for nearly four hundred miles parallel to and at a distance 
 of a quarter of a mile from the shore. 
 
 The bum-boats are coming alongside the Clyde. The 
 steamer Impcrador (Emperor, rather an anachronism to-day 
 in Brazil), a paddle-boat (screws are no use in this rough sea), 
 is bringing a lighter full of freight, and our emigrants are 
 laying in supplies : — sixpence for three pine-apples : melons 
 twopence each : oranges ten a penny. 
 
 Our friend, Mr. Dane, leaves us here after doing yeoman's 
 service as linguist, guide, and general good fellow among us. 
 We shall miss him sorely. 
 
 A party of thirteen of us is going ashore at four shillings 
 apiece, for both there and back, twenty-six milreis (fifty-two 
 shillings) for the boat-load. Not bad pay for three miles, i.e. 
 a mile-and-a-half each way. 
 
 A frigate-pelican is soaring majestically at a prodigious 
 height, watching the shoals of fish about the surf. He stoops 
 like the hawk and seldom misses a good haul. 
 
 10 a.m. — Ashore. The thermometer is 90°. Their 
 average is 85°. On our way we passed many rough sailing 
 boats, called Jangadas, or Catamarans, made of four logs 
 of cork palm riveted together. They form a wedge-shaped 
 craft, capable of carrying three or four persons, standing or 
 squatting on little stools. A single plank forms the keel, 
 and a rough mast and lateen sail complete the little vessel.
 
 ST. VINCENT TO PEBNAMBUCO. 
 
 97 
 
 Miles from land, in seas that sweep them from stem to 
 stern, do these little ships carry their sturdy crews a-fishing. 
 Their speed is great, and, though wet and windy, they are 
 secure. 
 
 We also noticed, showing above the water near us, the 
 dorsal fin of a large shark, who, if he had only known it, 
 could have helped himself to a meal off any of the cata- 
 marans. Pernambuco produces the finest pine-apples and 
 
 2^ 
 
 Hut in Olinda, Pernambuco. 
 
 sharks in the world. At present, I have only tasted the 
 former, which I found superb ; they are said to be superior, 
 both in size and flavour, to those of the West Indies. Some 
 weigh as much as fourteen or fifteen pounds : they have 
 even reached twenty or twenty-two pounds each. 
 
 The first settlement here was made in 1530, by a Captain 
 Duarte Cochlo, who received this grant, as a reward for long 
 service in India, from the King of Portugal. Pernambuco — by 
 
 H
 
 98 " HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 some translated " gate of hell ; " by others, " an opening through 
 a stone reef" — is the modern and business city, and has not 
 the pretensions to beauty Olinda has and always has had ; for 
 the name is derived from que linda, " Oh, how beautiful ! " 
 an exclamation of Duarte when landing with his wife and 
 children. For thirty years, under his guidance, it prospered 
 wonderfully, and the control then passed to his son George, 
 who was elected " Commandante " (Commander) at the 
 instance of the Jesuits. 
 
 This energetic man in five years reduced to subjection 
 all the surrounding country for one hundred and fifty miles 
 from Olinda. But presently the tide turned, and in 1630 
 Pernambuco was captured by the Dutch fleet of fifty sail, after 
 a vigorous defence conducted by one Yieira, a youth of but 
 seventeen years. Horrible were the atrocities of the victors, 
 who held the place for a quarter of a century, when it was 
 recovered by Baweto, viceroy to the King of Portugal, under 
 whose sovereignty it remained till the declaration of inde- 
 pendence. 
 
 The business part of the city lies on a flat between the 
 two rivers Beberibe and Capibaribe and the sea, giving it 
 something of a Venetian look. Like the Gaul of Csesar's 
 Commentaries, "all" Pernambuco "is divided into three parts" 
 — a peninsula, a continent, and an island. (1) On the sea 
 front is the Piecife, the commercial quarter, near the port, 
 with narrow streets and old houses ; (2) San Antonio, 
 beyond the two rivers, containing the government-house, 
 theatre, prison, churches, and railway station ; (3) Boa Vista, 
 the newest part, extending to Olinda, and full of pretty 
 houses and gardens. 
 
 The Eecife and San Antonio quarters are spoiled for want 
 of some plan in building. Every one has done just as he
 
 ST. VINCENT TO PERNAMBUCO. 
 
 99 
 
 liked. The streets are dirty; the houses, some high, some 
 low, some white, some stained with dirt ; and if you see a 
 lmlcony, it is gloomy and grated like a jail. The litter from 
 the beasts of burden and the refuse from the houses is all 
 allowed to choke up the roads, which are paved as unevenly 
 as they well could be. 
 
 For the first time in my life, I saw a butcher's shop full 
 of meat on the first floor of a house ; the lower part being 
 the place of slaughter, apparently. 
 
 In Boa Vista the buildings are splendid ; so also in 
 Olinda, where stand the ruins of the Jesuit College, once a 
 
 
 Olinda (Pernanibuco), with the Recife in the distance. 
 
 famous seat of learning. The story of the expulsion of the 
 monks of early days is still related with bated breath by the 
 faithful of these parts. How, without warning of any kind, 
 they were seized and shipped wholesale like cattle to "far 
 Bahia " (one day's journey by the Clyde), and landed there 
 to shift for themselves. Well, poor fellows, they have not 
 had to shift much, for they took such deep root, and throve 
 so fast that, at the present time, they are represented by a 
 cathedral and a matter of sixty-five churches ! 
 
 Noon. — Having strayed from Mr. Dane and the others, 
 and wishing to post some letters, I was puzzling to find the
 
 100 
 
 HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 office, when a native, speaking very good English, came up, 
 touched his hat, took me to the office, arranged for me about 
 stamps, post-cards, etc., that I needed, and then, with a 
 smile and another salute, went off without letting me even 
 finish my thanks. Much as I have heard and seen to the 
 discredit of the Brazilian, all admit lie is a most hospitable 
 being. My benefactor would, I am afraid, stand a long 
 time in Cheapside looking for St. Martin's-le-Grand, before 
 any Englishman would come to his aid. 
 
 On the front as you land, is a grove of Algarrobo trees, — 
 planted only twelve years ago, and now forming a dense 
 shade, beneath which, on iron seats around the trees, sit, 
 lounge, or lie, men of all classes, from the sugar-king to the 
 idle nigger. Two good restaurants face you as you land, 
 the Tours and the Cafe de l'Europe, and, beside them, shops 
 
 where curiosities of all sorts are 
 to be had, from brooches to 
 mummied humming-birds. Op- 
 posite these sat the fattest negress 
 I have yet seen, with, as her 
 stock-in-trade, a crate full of 
 parrots of rainbow hues. In some 
 of the back streets, boys and girls 
 of nine and ten years revelled in 
 absolute nakedness, and among 
 them were such villainous faces that " no one would, I'm 
 sure," said Mr. Dane, " be willing to take their naked word." 
 Trams, drawn by mules three abreast, run in all 
 directions, the chief attraction being the Madeline Gardens. 
 We went for two or three short trips across the rivers I 
 have mentioned, towards Olinda, and so on. 
 
 Everywhere one heard them trading in lottery tickets.
 
 ST. VINCENT TO PERNAMBUCO. 
 
 101 
 
 Shops sold them wholesale, retail, and by auction, and men 
 and boys buying them for eight hundred reis (Is. 8d.) 
 hawked them through the streets at a milreis (2s.). As this 
 was their sole living, it shows what traffic there must be 
 in lotteries. One ragged old man, with a solitary parrot for 
 sale, smoked a cigar with a golden band, and had grown the 
 long right-hand thumb-nail that here is a mark of gentility, 
 as are long nails generally in China. 
 
 The one thing no one need be told to notice here is sugar. 
 
 Bulloek-cart, Pernambuco. 
 
 The place reeks with it in every form. You smell it every- 
 where, see it all round you, and presently you slip on some 
 of it and sit down on a lot more. Niggers carry sugar in 
 black bags on their heads, protected against it and the sun 
 by three hats one on top of the other. Other niggers drive 
 a sort of Alderney oxen, in springless carts laden with sugar, 
 while the native Brazilian, mounted on the high Mexican 
 saddle, rides a horse or mule with panniers full of sugar. 
 
 For an hour or so the smell sickens you, but after that 
 you get acclimatised to what is perhaps best described as 
 a " sick-room odour," and conquer your first impulse to 
 return to the ship, if you had to swim there through the 
 sharks.
 
 102 
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 It is a busy scene. Fat negresses, with baskets of sweets 
 and fruits on their heads, waddle along barefooted and 
 bare-breasted, sweltering in the sun. Merchants hurry 
 to and fro, perspiring in tall hats, black 
 coats, and gloves, and carrying the slen- 
 derest of umbrellas, and the while skip- 
 ping from stone to stone among the 
 boulders in the roads, to escape the drain- 
 puddles thick and black with sugar. 
 
 For all this, what with the palms that 
 meet the eye on every open space, and the 
 black faces around, one begins to realize 
 the change from England to the tropics. 
 One would do so more, perhaps, if one came 
 straight to Pernambuco from Southampton, 
 but Lisbon and St. Vincent graduate the transition and 
 lessen the contrast between the home scenery and this. 
 
 Wanting a memento, I bought a simple cigarette-holder 
 which I saw, from a glance I took, had a photograph of a 
 note in it. "A Brazilian note is just the very thing in a 
 Pernambuco souvenir," said I to myself. Showing it to 
 Mr. Dane afterwards, I was much disgusted to hear him 
 read out slowly, as he peeped at the photograph, " Hundert 
 Gulden." Oh, these enterprising Germans ! 
 
 4 p.m. — Gun-fire from the Clyde announces the hoisting 
 of the " blue-peter," the signal for sailing ; so, bidding a 
 hearty farewell to Mr. Dane, we go aboard. 
 
 5.10 p.m. — We have been delayed by the coffee cargo, 
 but now the anchor is up and we are off to Bahia. 
 
 The Piccadilly of 
 Pernambuco.
 
 ( 103 ) 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 PEKNAMBUCO TO BAHIA. 
 
 November 6th. — 8 p.m. A little joke occurred this morning, 
 which is the talk of the ship to-night. 
 
 There are two saloon passengers on board, fast friends 
 and travelling together, who, admiring one and the same 
 lady, have, I take it by tacit contract, arranged to share her 
 society equally. One of them used to get his face very close 
 to the lady's sometimes, but it is only fair to say that he 
 wore glasses and was evidently very near-sighted. 
 
 Every day we had seen them mounting this enjoyable 
 guard with military regularity, neither clashing with the 
 other. To-day both were " off duty," and going ashore with 
 us, the lady remaining on board. There was a heavy swell 
 on, and the boat toppled rather wildly as she lay beside 
 the gangway to receive us. Presently, just as the last of 
 us got into her, and the word was passed to cast her off, 
 up sprang one of the " partners " — frightened, as w r e all 
 thought — nourishing his 
 umbrella to catch the 
 gangway-stay, glasses 
 astride his nose, tumbling 
 all over the place as if on 
 hot bricks. Partly jump- u The gW f , eft WJnd me , „ 
 
 ing, partly hauling, and 
 still more by the aid of the ever-present quarter-master, he
 
 104 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 scrambled back, and at length we saw him arrive, in a heap 
 devoid of all human shape, in the surf at the foot of the 
 ladder. 
 
 By this time we were some yards on our way, and com- 
 menting in loud choruses of " Oho ! " and groans, on what 
 we thought his faint-heartedness, when we noticed that there 
 was one man among us perfectly silent, who, for some reason, 
 evidently took another view of the matter — his " partner." 
 One by one we began to see the real explanation, and as we 
 did so a roar of laughter rose high in the morning air from 
 every throat. No, let me be exact; again there was one 
 silent among us — his " partner." 
 
 His faithless rival's act was not, I believe, premeditated, 
 but all the same it strongly reminds one of the fox who, 
 tired of certain nuisances about his body (and having heard, 
 it may be, that a drowning man will catch at a straw), took 
 to the river with a straw held just above the water in his 
 mouth. Then, as soon as all the " nuisances " had climbed 
 to the straw for safety, he gently let it drift and swam 
 back again to uninterrupted peace. 
 
 9 p.m. — The ship's coffee after dinner seemed very English, 
 owing to my having had on shore some of the finest I have 
 ever tasted out of Vienna. Others, and good judges too, go 
 further, and say it is the best in the world. It has been an 
 enjoyable, but rather tiring day, and I am turning-in at 
 9.30 p.m. 
 
 November 7th. — 5 a.m. What a strange sensation it is to 
 be waked at sea by cock-crow ! It surprises you, much as a 
 bosun's whistle would if heard in your bedroom at home. 
 It gives you a sort of amphibious feeling, and you need to 
 wake quite up before you get the " hang of the thing," as 
 Americans say. There must be many chanticleers on board,
 
 PERNAMBUCO TO BAHIA. 105 
 
 for I've heard three or four different calls— question and 
 answer, a sort of viva voce examination. This is the first I've 
 heard of them. I fancy they are English birds, but have 
 only just acquired their sea-legs— an expression not so 
 strange as it sounds, for you can't expect a cock to crow if 
 he can't stand. The crow consists, I believe, of one long 
 syllable, followed by three short, and a final of any length 
 according to taste ; not by any means an easy thing to do 
 before a critical world. I very much doubt whether Sims 
 Reeves could give, say, " Sound an alarm " with due effect, 
 tied up in a small crate with Edward Lloyd and twenty other 
 vocalists, tossing about in the Bay of Biscay. He might 
 sing " I-in, the-er, Ba-ay-O-of-Bis-Cay-0 " after a fashion, for 
 the line sounds as if it had been composed in a rocking-chair. 
 10 a.m. — At breakfast we heard of a death that had taken 
 place on board at 5 a.m., the very time those cocks were 
 crowing. The crow — the entire bird of that name I mean — is, 
 as we all know, looked upon as a creature of ill-omen with 
 its ominous croak, its life of rapine, and its deeds of blood. 
 But, of the cock as a messenger of death, I have never read. 
 Yet Pog says it scores just the same : " whether it's a carrion 
 crow or a clarion crow, a crow's a crow." My opinion is that 
 some distinction should be made, or, sooner or later, we shall 
 each receive these premonitory warnings. 
 
 However that may be, the poor fellow who was dining 
 with us all, last night, lies already in his rough ship-made 
 coffin, covered with the Union Jack. He looked a hale, 
 hearty man, but unfortunately that does not exempt from 
 apoplexy, which was the assigned cause of his death. He 
 will not be buried at sea, for this evening we reach Bahia. 
 
 Noon.— Bahia distant 77 miles. Lat. 12° 18' S., long. 37° 
 39' W. Run, 311 miles.
 
 106 "BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 Worse news has reached me — worse, in that it affects us 
 all. Small-pox has broken out on board ; there are three 
 cases already. This may simply ruin my trip, for at Buenos 
 Aires they quarantine you for three weeks sometimes, and 
 even more. Well, in that event I shall at least have the 
 unique experience of going to Buenos Aires and back, without 
 seeing it. We must hope for the best. 
 
 Talking with a resident in Monte Video, I learnt how 
 some of the huge fortunes were made in the South American 
 Republics. In order to encourage improvements in property, 
 the government offers to lend owners of land as much as 
 50 per cent, of its value, as estimated by the government 
 assessor. Here comes in the opportunity for fraud. The 
 owner of property worth (let us say) £10,000 gets this 
 assessor to value it at half-a-million. Upon the strength of 
 this the Government advances £250,000', and when the two 
 swindlers have divided the spoil, the owner transfers the 
 property to a man of straw who, for a few pounds, agrees to 
 stand the racket of legal proceedings to recover the sum 
 obtained by fraud. A simple method this of making money, 
 and one in which a small capital goes a long way ; for, as 
 shown by the case cited, a man can clear £115,000 on a single 
 transaction, and then, wiping his hands of all further respon- 
 sibility in the matter, bide Ms time and stand ready to 
 repeat the plan as occasion serves. 
 
 3 p.m. — We have been coasting and in view of land all 
 the way from Pernambuco. This is the region for cata- 
 marans : we have seen fully thirty since this morning, and 
 exquisitely graceful things they look, sailing literally through 
 the water. 
 
 Counting the revolutions of the propeller by the beats 
 under my foot just now, I found they were sixty- two to the
 
 PEBNAMBUCO TO BAH/A. 107 
 
 minute : this gives a speed of sixteen knots, or about eighteen- 
 and-a-half miles per hour. At this rate we should reach 
 Bahia before six o'clock. The weather is perfect, and the 
 beauty of the sea, dressed in the bluest of blues, is greatly 
 enhanced by the white caps the waves wore wearing, thanks 
 to a strong wind on the port-bow. 
 
 4.30 p.m. — We are abreast of the lighthouse on the 
 Cape San Antonio, where we turn to enter Bahia by a 
 passage seven miles wide. Beside this lighthouse, are visible 
 the red boilers of an American vessel, the Reliance, which 
 ran ashore last Christmas — another victim to that festive 
 season. It is blowing a gale as we round the point, with the 
 island of Itaparica on our left. The Thames, twin-sister to 
 our Clyde, is lying in the bay ; also an English man-of-war, 
 the Basilisk, bound for Bio. 
 
 4.40 p.m. — We have anchored. Steam launches trimmed 
 with numberless flags are alongside, full of welcoming friends. 
 Also a heavy, tub-like steamer, named, I should think 
 satirically, Relampago ("Lightning"'). This bay is said to 
 fascinate every one who has not seen Bio. Speaking for 
 myself, I can say it nearly exhausted my small stock of 
 complimentary phrases. 
 From the sea, the sight 
 impressed me as much as 
 Lisbon, with the added 
 charm of the bay ; and 
 what a bay ! There are 
 so many beauties on all 
 sides of it. ^^^ y- . ^ 
 
 Large as it is — and it My /»u<eu# at th& Panorama. 
 
 is one of the largest and safest bays in the world — one seems 
 to see it all so- well from shipboard, and with such comfort.
 
 108 "HOW I FOUND'' HEALTH. 
 
 The rapidity with which the scenery is presented to you 
 has a panoramic charm that never allows the eye to become 
 weary. It flows on as a dream through the brain. Else- 
 where the eye must seek its food ; here it is fed mechani- 
 cally and without conscious effort. 
 
 The city occupies the northern slope of the bay, the shores 
 of which are resplendent with tropical vegetation. In form 
 the bay is a semi-oval, and on fully three-fourths of its 
 shores the land, rising to great heights, is covered with 
 houses of dazzling white, yellow, and blue, set off by clusters 
 of stately palms, with here and there the towers of a church 
 to break the line. At one point is one of these churches — 
 I suppose it must be the Cathedral — with four or five spires, 
 recalling Cologne. 
 
 The bay of All Saints, before us, stretches away to the 
 south for thirty miles, backed by the deep blue hills, while 
 around us the flags of all nations, fluttering from a hundred 
 masts, lend still another charm to the scene. 
 
 The sea has been rapidly changing in colour from deep 
 blue to emerald green. The air is wafted warm and scent- 
 laden from the shores, redolent of pine-apple and orange. 
 One's eyes are ravished by the wealth of tropical vegetation 
 of all shades of green. 
 
 7 p.m. — While we were dining, a band came on board 
 playing the Brazilian funeral march, and bore away to shore 
 our dead passenger, who was a man of position here. But 
 the usual compliment of half-masting the flag was dispensed 
 with, to avoid alarm both here and ashore. Everything has 
 to give way to considerations of quarantine, it seems. This 
 is not perhaps surprising when one reflects how much 
 depends on a vessel getting " pratique," i.e. a clean bill of 
 health. As a rule it is in the doctor's hands. He meets
 
 PERNAMBUCO TO BABIA. 109 
 
 the port doctor who boards the ship, and on his tact at that 
 meeting hangs the ship's fate. 
 
 Dr. Blandford always succeeds. Irishmen seem gifted 
 with an affability which takes with people all the world 
 over. They are soft-voiced and soft-mannered, strong and 
 yet with a pliant elasticity and bearing that masks their 
 strength. No wonder, then, that, for this duty (other things, 
 of course, being equal), the Company gives the preference to 
 doctors hailing from our sister, the Emerald Isle. 
 
 A similar shrewdness, I think, marks their selection of 
 their chief engineers, two-thirds of whom are long-headed, 
 steady Scotchmen ; while the captain is usually chosen from 
 among the jolly tars of old England. Eor all these prefer- 
 ences it would be hard to give precise reasons, and indeed 
 invidious, but every one will detect, I think, a certain fitness 
 in the filling of the respective posts from the three sources 
 at the Company's disposal. 
 
 We have just seen five emigrants, suffering from small-pox, 
 taken off the ship to hospital ; and now the latest news is 
 that we have typhoid fever on board. 
 
 7 p.m. — We have come ashore, landing at the old town. 
 It was worth coming, if only to see the Clyde ablaze from 
 stem to stern with tier above tier of electric lights. She lay 
 like a crystal palace which, from the almost insensible 
 motion of our boat, seemed to float from us into the darkness, 
 dimmer and dimmer, till all we could see was her dark out- 
 line in a sort of " milky way." We passed many catamarans, 
 with three pretty lateen sails, flitting over the broad bay. 
 One very nearly ran us down while we were sailing, and we 
 had to row as well in order to clear her. 
 
 The charm of the town, when viewed from the Clyde, is on 
 landing suddenly dispelled, for the streets are foul, and the
 
 110 
 
 IJOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 smells abominable. It is one of the most unhealthy places 
 in Brazil, and was in 1850 the nucleus of a yellow-fever 
 epidemic that spread like wildfire up and down the coast. 
 
 If one had time, it would pay to walk to Victoria, the 
 English quarter overlooking the entrance to the bay, where 
 — from the Jardim Botanico — is a matchless view, taking in 
 at a sweep city, bay, and ocean. Instead, we strolled through 
 the market, which is here rich in fruits. The black women, 
 too, who sell them, are worth seeing, being among the largest 
 specimens of the human race, male or female. They delight 
 in costumes of orange and red, wear large white turbans, and 
 
 earrings as much as three inches 
 in diameter, and sit at trays 
 spread with melons, pumpkins, 
 oranges, bananas, mangoes, and 
 great bunches of flowers gorgeous 
 in tint but feeble in perfume. 
 
 The " navel oranges," as they 
 are called, with a peculiar small 
 excrescence at one end, are 
 without a pip to swear by or at 
 — large, thick-skinned, and juicy. 
 A large trade is also done in 
 feather-flowers, which are better 
 and cheaper here than at Eio ; 
 also in parrots, marmosets, and 
 monkeys. One little monkey 
 " Yours affectionately." comp letely won my heart by his 
 
 gentleness. Taking my hand in both his and burying his 
 face in it, he stroked and caressed the back with both his 
 hands in the most endearing way. If I had been homeward- 
 bound I should have been tempted to bring him.
 
 PERNAMBUCO TO BAEIA. 
 
 Ill 
 
 A few negroes with Cadeiras, or palanquins, still offer to 
 carry you up the steep zigzag hills that lead from the old 
 to the new town. If you go that way you will pass most of 
 the grand churches, and the cathedral, constructed of marble 
 brought from Europe, where officiates the Archbishop, who is 
 Primate of Brazil. We preferred the more rapid lift, which 
 raised us at once two hundred and thirty feet up from the 
 old to the new town. 
 
 A weirdly curious thing is this elevator, lifted by chains 
 as big as a ship's cable. But though it has been running 
 
 Elevator from the old to the new town, Bahia. 
 
 ten years without accident, no Englishman feels safe in it — 
 human life is held so cheap in these countries. 
 
 Having paid your 100 reis (2%d.), you enter a gloomy 
 chamber reeking with castor-oil, under which is an awful 
 well for the chain. At the dismal clang of a bell, up you go 
 in a creaking cage, the rattling chain playing a dirge in the 
 semi-darkness. Presently you pass a grating through which 
 you get a glimpse of the town below ; another with a wider 
 range; a third embracing views of the harbour and ship- 
 ping ; a fourth extending your field to the limits of the bay ; 
 and then you land on the terrace of the upper town, over-
 
 112 " HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 looking everything from a height four times that of a London 
 house. 
 
 It is a fine sight by day ; but at night, when the lights 
 sparkle like fire-flies in the houses on the hill-sides, and on 
 the shipping in the dark bay, the effect is magnificent. 
 Away from the dirt and smells of the old town, one finds up 
 here another city altogether — bright, clean, and filled with 
 fine houses and buildings of some pretensions. The churches 
 have tawdry exteriors, and are allowed to drop sadly out of 
 repair, but within they are resplendent with jewels and 
 decorations. 
 
 Thence we took a tram to the Hotel Paris— here pro- 
 nounced Pa-reece — where we secured quarters for the night. 
 The negro carrying our bags, having no boots, was not 
 permitted on the tram, and so had to walk. After dinner, 
 to see the city quickly, we trammed again completely 
 through and round it. The treatment of the mules drawing 
 the trams was sickening ; two men lashed them the entire 
 way. At the slopes they were taken off and, with only a lad 
 at the brake, we dashed down the incline at a fearful speed, 
 caring for nothing at the cross-roads. We very nearly cut 
 in pieces two negresses and their male escorts, who, according 
 to custom, were walking behind the ladies. This rear-guard 
 arrangement appears to be the fashion with all classes alike 
 in the Brazils. 
 
 The scores of streets we passed all presented the same 
 sight : niggers at every window in twos and threes. By the 
 aid of the faint light in the back rooms, one could see their 
 outline in the wretched, dark, dirty, scullery-like front 
 apartment. Everywhere the black heads peeped from 
 these gloomy windows in such absolute silence that 
 it quite depressed one. Of clothes there didn't appear tu
 
 PERNAMBTJCO TO BAEIA. 
 
 113 
 
 be a suit among a dozen of them. The town is badly 
 lighted, and a settled desolation appears to brood over the 
 place. 
 
 Bahia nevertheless holds second rank in Brazil. It dates 
 from 1549, when Thome da Sousa, a gallant Portuguese 
 soldier, founded the city as " San Salvador," giving the 
 magnificent bay the name of " Bahia de Todos-os-Santos." 
 In 1763 the seat of government was removed to Bio, but 
 Bahia still remained the ecclesiastical capital. The trade in 
 
 Campo Grande, Bahia. 
 
 all kinds of precious stones is very considerable, in diamonds 
 especially, the prices going by leaps and bounds from £50 
 for a two-carat stone to £500 for one of six carats. The 
 Estrella do Sul, or " Southern Star," in the Paris Exhibi- 
 tion of 1856, rivalled the Koh-i-nur, or "Mountain of 
 Light," in our Exhibition of 1851. The ex-Emperor is 
 said to have had one of 1680 carats — valued at five-and- 
 a-half millions sterling — as a handy nest-egg in case of 
 deposition. 
 
 The first foundations of Bahia may still be traced near 
 
 I
 
 114 " EOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 the present chapel of Ayuda, and in the old Jesuit church 
 may be seen the tomb of Father John Martin, superior of 
 the Jesuit order in Brazil, with the inscription " Non Anglus 
 sed Angelus." 
 
 Bahia's export trade includes indiarubber, rosewood, 
 cedar, vegetable-ivory, cloves, cinnamon, and coffee. Its 
 business in cigars is enormous, and my visit increased it by 
 a box which judges pronounced excellent. The forests are 
 rich in game, and the river banks swarm with reptiles. 
 
 Trees grow to a prodigious size. It is related somewhere 
 that a cedar tree, brought down by a flood, sufficed to build 
 a church, and there was enough left then to construct a 
 house. 
 
 In historical associations Bahia surpasses any other part 
 of Brazil. It was in front of this city that the Dutch 
 Admiral Adrian Patryd, rather than surrender to the 
 Spaniards, folded himself in the flag of his country, exclaim- 
 ing " The ocean is the fittest grave for a Dutch Admiral," 
 and leapt into the waters of the bay. The sequel is not 
 related, but I fear the worst, for the bay is deep, and Dutch 
 Admirals were as a rule fat and scant of breath. Moreover, 
 to be rolled up in a flag would sadly hamper the best 
 swimmer. No — I'm afraid we must give him up, especially 
 as neither Pog nor I have seen anything among the flotsam 
 or jetsam at all answering to his description. 
 
 The water looks very inviting this morning. I should 
 like to jump in myself; but mine would be an undress 
 rehearsal, and without the properties, consisting of one 
 Spanish fleet, one Dutch galleon, one Dutch Admiral's 
 uniform, and one Dutch flag. 
 
 November 8th. — 9 a.m. The "blue-peter" is flying from 
 the Clyde as we come off from the shore.
 
 PERNAMBUCO TO BAHIA. 115 
 
 10.58 a.m. — As we leave this lovely bay I am wondering 
 in what way Rio will manage to eclipse it. It seems an 
 impossible task ; but all the world says she does, and what 
 all the world says must, of course, be true.
 
 116 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 BAHIA TO KIO DE JANEIRO. 
 
 November 8th. — Noon. One would-be passenger has been 
 left behind, luggage and all. His boat reached the ship as 
 
 the gangway was being 
 
 ■at" r^ hauled up. For a moment 
 
 he stood in doubt what to 
 
 = do, then reseating himself, 
 
 ff^" he lighted a cigar, pointed 
 
 the boatman towards the 
 
 >sop iy * shore with the match, and 
 
 turned his back upon us. There he goes smoking ashore, 
 
 cool as a cucumber and stoically content. 
 
 Two or three of the " Eitchie Club," as the gatherers in 
 his festive cabin are called, made up their minds to finish 
 off Pog's ubiquitous myth, " the alleged murderer ; " for he 
 was to Pog like King Charles's head to Mr. Dick — there was 
 no keeping him out of the conversation. Accordingly, with 
 finger on lip and many side-glances, they broke the news 
 gently to him that the poor wretch had committed suicide, 
 and his body had been sent ashore. 
 
 " There," said Pog, in a confidential whisper, " I knew it ; 
 I said so, directly I heard of the death and that he was sup- 
 posed to be a Brazilian. ' You may call him what you like,' 
 I said, ' but I know who it is.' " Then with some softness
 
 BAH1A TO RIO BE JANEIRO. 117 
 
 he added, " I always said those brutes of detectives would 
 drive the poor fellow to self-slaughter. There's something 
 very detestable, sir, don't you think, about the calling of a 
 detective ? " 
 
 The weather is good, the sea fairly calm, and, thanks to 
 a few clouds and a capful of wind, the heat, always great as 
 you near Eio, is very bearable. 
 
 1 p.m. — I lunched off Bahia oranges, and bananas golden 
 as wheat and superb in flavour, and then went to see the 
 Doctor, who is laid up with bad sore throat. He looks very 
 ill, and has his throat enveloped in many thicknesses of 
 cotton wool. A Dr. Fallowes, bound for Buenos Aires, is 
 acting for him. The Captain is similarly affected, I hear. 
 Taken with the ugly rumours of typhoid and the actual 
 small-pox, these symptoms are not cheering. 
 
 7 p.m. — The Captain was not at dinner, and the Chief 
 Officer is in charge, I am told. I have been playing chess in 
 Mr. Ritchie's cabin, which has been my Club every night. 
 What luck to have such a friend on my first ocean voyage ! 
 The Purser is another real good fellow, with a fund of 
 anecdote, and a vein of Irish humour that is truly refreshing. 
 So is the Second Officer — a kind-hearted, typical British 
 sailor. 
 
 Of the Chief Officer and the Doctor I have already 
 spoken more than once. All these were most kind. I was 
 as free of their cabins as of my own, and many a happy 
 hour and many a good laugh have I enjoyed with first one 
 and then another of them. 
 
 The trip is a grand trip, the ship a grand ship; but 
 something more was needed for my complete happiness, and 
 that I found in the companionship of these genuine good 
 fellows.
 
 118 " HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 10 p.m. — It is deliriously cool on deck, aud as it is 88° 
 in my cabin, I am going to sleep on a deck-bedstead. 
 
 November 9lh. — Sunday, 5 a.m. They were washing the 
 decks, so I had to go below. The " Southern Cross " looked 
 a little more attractive, I thought, this morning. A thing 
 that it won't repay you to incur discomfort for, will some- 
 times please you when you see it at your ease, as I did the 
 " Cross " from my deck-bed. The false one rose at 3 a.m., 
 and was followed by the " Crux " at 4 a.m. 
 
 11 a.m. — What with thirty- two children and three 
 kittens, one never need be dull. The deck in the morning 
 during this glorious weather is like a nursery, and strewed 
 with dolls and toys of all sorts. And what a nursery a ship 
 is, and how radiant the little ones look in the bright sun and 
 pure air ! It is a pretty, peaceful scene, yet its very happi- 
 ness calls up other thoughts. One cannot glance from this 
 picture of unmixed enjoyment over the bulwarks to the deep 
 sea rolling beside, without sometimes feeling how small a 
 thing the ship is on that wide waste of waters. The giant 
 is slumbering now while the little ones play in safety by his 
 side. But he is a giant still. What if he should wake in 
 anger! One could read these thoughts, or something like 
 them, in many a mother's face, while her voice was all 
 ripples of laughter and her hands were full of toys. 
 
 A cry of " Whale ! " has just sent the toys rolling, and 
 children and parents rushing to the ship's side. It turns 
 out to be something more — a fight between a sword-fish, a 
 whale, and a thresher-shark. They are only about a mile off, 
 and lashing the sea into foam in fine style. There is a 
 perfect cloud of it, fully fifty feet high, and we can see the 
 whale every now and then rearing his huge form out of the 
 water, and spouting spray in enormous fountains. A second
 
 BAHIA TO RIO BE JANEIRO. 
 
 119 
 
 whale, much nearer, is blowing in the usual quiet way, 
 evidently unmolested. The other sight is the interesting 
 one to us all, for it is a 
 life-and-death battle. Not 
 a triangular duel, each for 
 himself, but two to one — 
 the whale, as Pog says, 
 " being in the minority." 
 
 His most deadly foe is 
 the sword-fish, whose plan 
 is to attack him with his 
 thirty-six-inch sword from His last » a8 P- 
 
 beneath, plunging it into him repeatedly, while the thresher, 
 leaping into the air, falls upon the whale's back, and so helps 
 to drive home the deadly weapon. I give this version as 
 I heard it on board ; but I know the confederacy of the 
 whale's two opponents is denied. The ground for the denial, 
 however — that the formation of the thresher's teeth pre- 
 cludes his eating the whale — seems to be weak. The sword- 
 fish does not cat him either; he lives on small fish. Per- 
 haps he is a true sportsman, and hunts and kills him as 
 we do the fox, for the mere fun of the thing ; and if so, I see 
 no reason why the thresher should not join him in the 
 same true British spirit of sport. 
 
 Noon.— Lat. 19° 10' S., long. 30° 9' W. Run, 373 miles. 
 
 There being no service to-day on account of the Captain's 
 illness, I have been gathering from one source and another 
 bits of general information about Brazil. In extent and 
 power it ranks in the New World second only to the United 
 States. In South America it has no rival in size, population, 
 property, and order — the stability of the social relations 
 being surpassed by the great Northern Eepublic alone,
 
 120 
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 which has the lion's share in North, as Brazil has in South 
 America. 
 
 Except Alaska, the Union has no arctic nor tropical state, 
 but lies entirely within the temperate zone. It has, how- 
 ever, sharp contrasts of temperature — heat in Florida and 
 cold in Missouri and the Great Lakes, while Brazil is almost 
 entirely between the tropic of Capricorn and the Equator, 
 a small portion only reaching southwards into the temperate 
 zone. These conditions have greatly influenced both 
 
 
 •/-> 
 
 On the Scrra near Petropolis, Rio de Janeiro. 
 
 Republics, accounting for differences in social phenomena and 
 natural and intellectual development. 
 
 Brazil occupies three-sevenths of South America, one-fifth 
 of the entire continent, and one-fifteenth of the land-surface 
 of the world. The rivers teem with fish, turtles, and 
 alligators, and poisonous snakes innumerable swarm along 
 their banks. "While writing the last sentence, I shouted it 
 to Pog, who was at an adjoining table. " If that's the case," 
 said he, " I shan't trouble ' Pdo the beautiful ' much. The
 
 BAEIA TO RIO DE JANEIRO. 121 
 
 presence of snakes would render Paradise itself a howling- 
 desert to me. I should remember the snakes when every 
 other charm had faded from my mind." Then, breaking into 
 quotation, he went on, " You know what Moore says of 
 
 Eden — 
 
 ' Long, long be my heart with such memories filled, 
 Like the vase in which roses have once been distilled ; 
 You may break, you may shatter, the vase if you will, 
 But the trail of the serpent is over it still.' " 
 
 "Thanks," I said, "I'll insert that quotation. It's very 
 neat, though a trifle diluted." 
 
 Brazil is the home of the parrot, the macaw, and the 
 humming-bird, and others unsurpassed in beauty by any 
 birds in the world. Its chief fruits are the pine-apple, 
 banana, orange, mango, and melon ; and its production of 
 maize, wheat, rice, coffee, sugar, tobacco, and cotton is 
 immense. Half the coffee of the world is grown in the 
 Brazils. 
 
 The population is mainly composed of the descendants 
 of Portuguese, Negroes, and Germans. The true Brazilian 
 of to-day (he of Portuguese descent) is small, slight, and 
 sallow or dark. Though weaker and less thrifty, he retains 
 some of the shrewdness of his ancestors. In morals he is 
 below the Argentine ; but he loves learning, and his children 
 respect their parents. 
 
 The rearing of negro children is a difficult process. In 
 spite of the mistress's great care, three-fourths die in the 
 weaning. 
 
 Among the negroes, legalized or consecrated marriages 
 are the exception. Africans object to being tied for life, it 
 seems, whether to wife or to master. Over a million of 
 slaves have bought their freedom and got it in " black and
 
 122 
 
 "BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 " Black and white. 
 
 white," and many more could do so if they did not drink 
 their earnings instead. Like the Malay, the negro is subject 
 
 to fits of murder-mania, 
 when he will " run-a- 
 muck " and kill anything 
 in his way. Many mas- 
 ters fall thus by their 
 slaves' hands ; but not 
 enough of them, by a 
 long way, to balance the 
 death-roll of the slaves 
 killed by their masters. 
 
 The slaves have one 
 peculiar method of re- 
 venge — they poison 
 themselves en masse out 
 of spite. One master, much beloved by his slaves, saw them 
 poisoning themselves by the dozen day by day, and tried 
 
 every means to stop it, but in vain. 
 By the emancipation law of 1871 
 all slaves born thereafter were de- 
 clared free ; but in order to avoid 
 the dangers that might arise from 
 suddenly freeing an entire popula- 
 tion, it was made a condition that 
 they should serve their masters as 
 apprentices for twenty-one years. 
 Next year, therefore, all those born 
 in 1871 will be absolutely free — 
 themselves and their children. 
 3 p.m. — As I go on deck, another 
 whale is spouting leisurely, and I hear we have passed 
 
 Brazil, 1892.
 
 BAHTA TO RIO BE JANEIRO. 123 
 
 through a perfect school of these merry monsters. The sea 
 for miles round us is the colour of clay. At first we thought 
 it was due to some volcanic action in the bed of the sea ; 
 next it was attributed to a sand-storm off the land. At last 
 Mr. Graham, an engineer returning to Buenos Aires — a man 
 of world-wide experience, and withal a charming companion 
 — put us all right. It is caused, it seems, by the drifting of 
 huge quantities of a weed, known as whales' food, which is 
 commonly to be found in their neighbourhood — or shall we 
 rather say they in its neighbourhood ? — for I suppose they 
 follow the food, and not vice versa. Now I know what it 
 is, I can distinctly smell the weed, which recalls the odour 
 of Worthing beach. 
 
 A pretty little girl, who has been down with bronchitis all 
 the way, was so alarmingly ill to-day — no doubt owing to 
 the great increase of heat in the cabin — that the acting-doctor 
 said she must there and then be moved into a more airy 
 place. Knowing that a certain wealthy potentate on board 
 had just the thing wanted, I asked him if the little sufferer 
 might be moved to his spacious cabiu for an hour or so. 
 His reply was that his wife sometimes had a bad throat and 
 would feel nervous. But, I urged, bronchitis is not infec- 
 tious. " No, I know," he said, " but my wife would be 
 nervous." 
 
 Strange how people differ. While we were talking, a kind- 
 hearted lady was acting ; and when I left the " potentate," 
 it was to see the little girl breathing with much lessened 
 effort in the cabin of this good Samaritan. 
 
 9 p.m. — All well, we shall anchor off world-famed Rio 
 to-morrow afternoon. I can hardly realize it. 
 
 November 10th. — 6 a.m. Opening the port, I found we 
 were passing a prominent point of land, so I got up and had
 
 124 
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 my bath, which to my surprise felt quite chilly. On inquiry 
 I learnt that the place takes its name from its comparative 
 coldness — Cabo Frio (" Cold Cape "). Here formerly stood 
 a lighthouse eight hundred feet high, and constantly hidden 
 in the clouds. The sun has caught the clouds on a hill- 
 top, while its sides remain in darkness — a lovely sight. 
 
 7 a.m. — Have just seen my first albatross. We are 
 coasting, and in sight of land, which presents a rather 
 monotonous line of vellow sand with an undulating back- 
 
 ;-;n 
 
 The " Sugar Loaf," Rio de Janeiro. 
 
 ground almost as regular. Tiny islands here and there 
 nestling in the bays brighten the scene, and as " eight bells " 
 sounds, I notice the deck is full of people. We are bounding 
 along over the bluest water I ever saw. Every one is busy 
 with glasses, and the talk is on all sides of the glorious 
 weather and of " Bio the beautiful." 
 
 10 a.m. — The famous Sugar-Loaf Mountain, nine hundred 
 and ten feet high, is in sight, and all eyes are bent in that 
 direction, when suddenly we plunge into a shoal of dolphins, 
 twenty or thirty of which seem to leap up and dart at the
 
 BABIA TO RIO BE JANEIRO. 125 
 
 vessel. They cause quite a commotion in the water for a 
 good five hundred yards round the ship. A whale-bird 
 passing at the time seems to be watching them. 
 
 As we near Eio Harbour the first thing our glasses reveal 
 to us is a vision of palms close to the water's edge, waving 
 over the sea-swept rocks. Presently we reach the Sugar 
 Loaf and glide between two islands — which barely lift clear 
 of the sea their wealth of palm, cactus, and verdant shrubs — 
 and find ourselves at the entrance of the bay, with on the 
 right the fort of Santa Crux, and on the left fort Sao Juan 
 and the Sugar Loaf. 
 
 Having entered, and looking to the left, there follow in 
 succession : — Viuva Mount, with a battery on the terrace in 
 front ; the Ville Gaignon Fort ; Ilha das Cobras ; and Ilha 
 Fiscale (or Custom-House Island). Meanwhile on our 
 right we have passed : — Boa Viagem Fort on the mount and 
 island of that name ; Gravata Fort on the mainland ; and 
 the village of Sa5 Domingos on the point in the district 
 called Nitherohi. 
 
 Further in and lying over our port bows is Botofogo, studded 
 with snow-white villas, which, standing in their verdant 
 gardens, sparkle in the sunlight like diamonds in emerald 
 settings. But what can one say of the bay that now opens 
 before us, which has been the subject of poetic panegyric 
 ever since its discovery ? 
 
 Stretching inland from the sea for sixteen miles, with a 
 varying width of from two to seven miles, it encloses an 
 anchorage of fifty square miles, and has a coast-line of sixty 
 miles round. Such a sheet of water would be beautiful 
 anywhere ; but framed as this is by the varied colouring 
 and exquisitely graceful undulations of the surrounding 
 mountains, it is the very gate of paradise. Nowhere else
 
 126 " HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 surely is there at once a coast so bold, a cluster of moun- 
 tains so picturesque, such a maze of inlets and outlets, and 
 such a burst of all-pervading vegetation. It is well said 
 that the traveller, who has rounded the world, returns to 
 Eio with as much delight as though it was his first tropical 
 experience, and never fails to find there some fresh charm. 
 
 10.50 a.m. — The Chief Officer has brought us in beautifully, 
 the Captain being still too ill for duty. We have anchored 
 in the bay close to the old Dutch Fort. To our left stands 
 the mountain Corcovado (literally "Hunch-back," and so 
 
 
 
 A glimpse of Petropolis. 
 
 called on account of its shape), that keeps sentry over the 
 city, towering aloft more than two thousand three hundred 
 feet. On one side is a sheer descent of seventeen hundred 
 feet, and on this side, at the summit, one can see the shelter 
 whence the finest view of Eio and the bay rewards those 
 who make the ascent. Tijuca, a still loftier mountain, over 
 three thousand feet high, is seen some twelve miles further 
 in, on the same side. Away over the indent of the bay lie 
 forest-clad hills, and overtopping these, thirty or forty miles 
 beyond and visible faintly only through the mists, rise the 
 fantastic pinnacles of the Organ Mountains (resembling a
 
 BABIA TO BIO DE JANEIBO. 127 
 
 colossal range of organs), rearing their crests seven or eight 
 thousand feet above the level of the sea. 
 
 In the loveliest part of these mountains, and at an ele- 
 vation of two thousand five hundred feet, bowered and 
 shaded by trees of luxuriant foliage, is situated the flourish- 
 ing town of Petropolis. Here is one of the palaces of the 
 ex-Emperor, and around it in all directions are the palatial 
 residences and gardens of the — I was going to say, ex- 
 merchant princes of Eio. " Ex," in the_ sense that while still 
 engaged in the city in the morning, they leave it in the early 
 hours of the afternoon for this enchanting retreat. 
 
 The city, as seen from the ship, is little more than a chess- 
 board, but the environs, Botofogo Bay, Larangerias, and the 
 heights of Tijuca and Corcovado, are said to rival the love- 
 liest spots in either hemisphere. Looking across the great 
 expanse of water towards the Organ Mountains, one sees how 
 the perspective narrowing of it must have led its founders to 
 think it a river, and so to name it " Kio." " Janeiro " needs 
 no explanation ; it is simply Portuguese for January, the 
 month in which this bay of matchless beauty was discovered. 
 The aborigines wisely evaded such niceties of geographical 
 definition, and simply called it Nitherohi, or "hidden water." 
 
 Noon. — A large party of us is going on shore in a splendid 
 launch, which has just come for our friend Mr. Einger, of 
 whom I have spoken, Tijuca being our ultimate destination 
 for the night. The sea is calm to-day, but it can be angry. 
 Just outside the entrance lies an island formerly used as a 
 prison, which during a gale was flooded so completely, that 
 the prisoners were all drowned in their cells. 
 
 One lands at Ptio in its most unsightly, malodorous, yet 
 interesting quarter — the market-place : in the very middle of 
 it, among noisy boatmen, yellow, brown, black, and extra-
 
 128 
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 double jet, and in the midst of oceans of fruit and seas of 
 filth. Well worth noticing are the Africans here, mag- 
 nificent specimens of men, splendidly developed and clas- 
 sically modelled in limb and muscle. Passing through the 
 market and among marvellously clean negresses, whose dress 
 consists of simply an exquisitely white chemise and cap, one 
 comes suddenly on the main thoroughfare. 
 
 The Imperial Chapel, Eua Primeiro de Mar<;o. 
 
 The Eua Direita, or as it is now called officially, Eua 
 Primeiro de Marco (1st of March), is the principal business 
 street, and wide and pleasant. It runs from the gate of the 
 palace to the Convent of Sao Bento, and contains the 
 Exchange, Post Office, Custom-House, the Imperial Chapel, 
 and many churches. 
 
 Eio, if she cannot equal Bahia in the number of her 
 churches, at least comes in a good second with a record of
 
 BABIA TO BIO BE JANEIRO. 
 
 129 
 
 fifty-two. They are all built in the " Jesuit " style, and are 
 striking on account of their sites, size, and the barbaric 
 magnificence of their decorations. Two especially call for 
 mention — La Cadellaria, majestic with its lofty towers, and 
 La Gloria, crowning a beautiful eminence in the bay. 
 
 The streets are mostly narrow and mean. Even the 
 fashionable Eua do Ouvidor, running at right angles out of 
 the Primeiro de Marco, and lined on both sides with hand- 
 some shops, is a mere alley 
 scarcely wider than our Holy- 
 well Street, Strand, W.C. 
 
 On the road to Tijuca 
 the surrounding country is 
 extremely romantic, and the 
 vegetation luxuriant and 
 graceful. Conspicuous every- 
 where are the palms and the 
 silky green leaf- blades of the 
 banana tree. Of the prime- 
 val forest that once covered 
 these mountains but a small 
 part remains, and that little 
 has been preserved from 
 wanton destruction by rigid 
 legal enactment. But the famous Tijuca Falls, formed by a 
 stream rising on the highest crest of the cliffs, flow on for 
 ever unaffected by time or change. 
 
 From Tijuca one obtains an excellent view of the entrance 
 of the bay, with the huge figure named the " Stone Man," 
 formed by the grotesojie hills collectively — the Gavia* giving 
 
 * A rugged mountain near the entrance to the harbour, in appearance 
 totally uulike auy of its conical neighbours. 
 
 K 
 
 The small cascade, Tijuca.
 
 130 
 
 HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 the face in profile, and the Sugar Loaf doing duty as the feet. 
 From these hills is chiefly derived the splendid supply of 
 water that feeds the fountains in the streets and public 
 squares of Eio, by means of the grand aqueduct which here 
 crosses the valley, seven hundred and forty feet wide and 
 ninety feet deep. 
 
 Some of our party drove the twelve miles, while others 
 took the rail which lands you near the summit, whence by 
 carriages or donkeys you make your way to the Hotel Villa 
 Moreau, better known as White's Hotel — English and very 
 
 
 'gxrW* 
 
 
 
 Hotel Villa Moreau, Tijuca. 
 
 comfortable — where you should book your bed (if you have 
 not already secured it by telephone from Eio, which is the 
 only safe way), and go out while dinner is preparing, and 
 see the sun set. 
 
 Far away at your feet lies the city, and beyond it the 
 vessels rest sleepily on the peaceful waves awaiting a flood of 
 glory in the golden sunset. It is coining. Long tongues of 
 flame sweep through the valley and are broken into rippling
 
 BAEIA TO RIO DE JANEIRO. 131 
 
 streams of liquid colour across the bay, gilding here a mast 
 and there a spar : now brightening the gloomy recesses of 
 some far hillside — now crowning with a blood-red nimbus 
 its palm-covered summit. 
 
 At length he sheds his farewell glories and sinks behind 
 the hill, behind the waste of rolling waters, into the fairy 
 depths, where all around lie the myriad-tinted fleeces from 
 which are woven the ribbon of the rainbow. In these 
 parts there is no twilight, and as the sun sinks, therefore, 
 Eio breaks into illumination, and the sparkling lights, which 
 appear more numerous than in England because nearer 
 together in a given space, render night beautiful indeed. 
 
 November 11th. — 10 a.m. It is 111° in the shade, and not 
 the day to attempt Corcovado, whose head, moreover, is 
 wreathed in clouds. I must reserve that treat for my return 
 journey. So we make for the city en route for the Botanical 
 Gardens at Botofogo. One is told to drive out there to see 
 the beauties of Eio ; but really, go where you will — clear of 
 the city — the whole road inland or along the coast is one 
 unbroken garden. 
 
 The streets do not impress one favourably. They are so 
 narrow, indeed, that it is with difficulty 
 one keeps the pavement. The main street, 
 Eua Direita, is the only exception : its 
 breadth is most ample. Here, on the extra /M 
 space, all the shoeblacks and newspaper- 
 sellers do congregate, driving, I'm told, a 
 very paying business; for Eio people are 
 notoriously free — too free, indeed, in their 
 payments for trifles. Boot-cleaning, for in- Griu and bear iu 
 stance, costs you a hundred reis (2^cZ.). Laden negroes crowd 
 up and down the narrow avenues, always on the trot and in
 
 132 " EO W 1 FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 full song, mostly grinning from ear to ear as though determined 
 to display every one of the dazzling white teeth they possess. 
 
 These narrow passages must be very bad in times of 
 epidemics, which are not infrequent here. Yellow fever has 
 its periods of revival, in spite of all the city-improvement 
 schemes devised or in progress. It is said to find most of its 
 victims among the ill -fed Italians. Next come the Germans, 
 then the French, and lastly the English, whose " good food 
 and good brandy " are said to save them. Perhaps the good 
 food, in spite of the brandy ; I don't know. Bad as are the 
 streets, one meets little oases every now and then in most 
 unlikely places, affording the grateful shade of the palm and 
 the banana. And as one approaches the suburbs, flowers 
 superbly rich in colour toss their profuse branches over the 
 paths. These suburbs are indeed natural gardens crowded 
 with beautiful examples of tropical flora in unmatched 
 luxuriance. As one makes one's way through Botofogo, one 
 is struck with the magnificence of the houses and gardens 
 close down by the shore. This is the choice end of Bio. 
 From their windows the residents look out upon one of the 
 most'picturesque little bays imaginable — a bay within the bay. 
 
 Further along, one gets a glimpse of the aqueduct-arches 
 peeping out from among a wealth of palm trees, and soon 
 after come in sight some palms of immense height, upon 
 which most people bestow so much praise that little is 
 left for the famous "Avenue of Palms" just round the 
 corner not five minutes further. In the nature of things 
 the one detracts from the other. It has much the anti- 
 climax effect that would result from a man eight feet high 
 asking you, at a show, to step inside and see a giant eight 
 feet two inches. So in this case, I found the snack spoil my 
 appetite for the banquet.
 
 BAHIA TO RIO DE JANEIRO. 133 
 
 The situation of the gardens is a grand one. I should 
 think unique. Lying in a recess of the mountains at the 
 foot of Corcovado, which soars majestically above it into the 
 clouds, it is screened in all directions from the winds which 
 are at times boisterous at Eio. It is in all respects the most 
 tropical of positions, and an ideal one for a garden. 
 
 But here, as everywhere in these torrid regions, what one 
 misses is the presence of human beings to enliven the 
 scenery. The natives never seem to use the lovely things. 
 The well-dressed classes, some of whom in England would 
 grace a beautiful promenade like this, and even the working 
 classes, who lend life and movement to our gardens at Kew, 
 are conspicuously absent here. In a country where every- 
 thing will grow anywhere, none will go an hour's journey 
 like this to see a mere collection of the common objects of 
 the street. 
 
 Who would go from Oxford Street to the Oval to see a 
 thousand policemen gathered and arranged in various taking 
 attitudes ? Pog, to whom I had addressed this, as I thought, 
 unanswerable bit of argument by " reductio ad, etc.," 
 promptly replied, " The cooks ! "—an interruption to my 
 train of reasoning which now, as then, I pass over in silence. 
 
 But indifference is not the only or most potent cause of 
 their absenteeism. They have a mortal dread of the sun, 
 and no wonder, when yellow fever is always busy among 
 them, and few years pass without thousands being carried 
 off by this fatal disease. 
 
 The only places to see the ladies of Eio are under their 
 verandahs by day, and in their carriages in the cool of 
 evening. The botanical gardens were absolutely without 
 one human being besides our own party, and to me they 
 looked dead-alive and spiritless. The Avenue of Palms,
 
 134 
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 straight as masts, and fully two hundred feet high, looked 
 very symmetrical, and formed such a perfect line, that 
 standing twenty yards behind the end one, it hid the entire 
 row of seventy odd.* But the tufts on their summits were 
 thin and gave no shade, and did not meet even so as to form 
 a canopy. No ; I was not impressed. That .snack outside 
 spoilt me, I know. Still, these stems are taller than the 
 
 Avenue of Palms, Botanical Gardens, Rio de Janeiro. 
 
 others, so " Palmam qui meruit ferat," if he will. But these 
 hear very little palm. 
 
 The other trees and shrubs were not remarkable ; one had 
 seen them all at Kew, where, of course, they are curious. A 
 crocodile is a curiosity in the " Zoo," but not, I dare swear, 
 on the banks of the Amazon. There was a huge bamboo 
 
 * The exact number in the two rows is one hundred and fifty-three, I find, 
 which is odd in every sense for a double row. Necessitating an odd half-tree 
 on each tide, as Po<j would say.— C. C. A.
 
 BAHIA TO RIO BE JANEIRO. 135 
 
 jungle, the stems reaching a height of some twenty feet ; and 
 a cascade with five or six falls tumbles down the hillside, 
 but the small body of water makes it utterly tame. The 
 butterflies surprised me most. They were as big as sparrows, 
 and with the wings extended measured as much as nine or 
 ten inches from tip to tip. A green lizard, a good eighteen 
 inches long, with a head fully six inches thick, looking and 
 moving like a small alligator, crept out of the jungle, and at 
 a touch of my stick plunged back again with an angry 
 flourish of his armoured and aggressive-looking tail. Pog 
 and 1 took this flourish as a hint to go, and, being hungry, 
 we obeyed it. 
 
 On leaving the gardens we made once more for the city, 
 where, at the " Maison Moderne," we dined and tasted, 
 among many other things, a dish of mixed snails and oysters, 
 which I tried hard to enjoy, but in vain. While at dinner, 
 what I took to be a mouse ran under my chair, and towards 
 a hole in the wall. On stopping it with my foot, I found it 
 was a huge cockroach, three inches long, and an inch wide. 
 All things grow apace here. 
 
 The drainage of Eio is simply a scandal to a civilized 
 people. The refuse of the market, which is supposed to be 
 taken in barges to a neighbouring island and there burnt, is, 
 as I saw myself, carried out about a mile from shore and 
 heaved into the sea. Not knowing this yesterday, I took 
 my usual bath, and the smell was so offensive that I had to 
 use fresh hot water and soap and brush freely before I could 
 rid myself of the pungent and filthy odour. 
 
 No one sleeps in Rio itself if he can in any way avoid it, 
 and rather than do so I am returning to the ship. The heat 
 is intense, though it is only Spring here. 
 
 8.30 p.m. — I have just reached the Clyde and am jotting
 
 136 " HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 down some verses that have been burdening my soul all 
 day. Here they are — 
 
 FROM TIJUCA PEAK. 
 
 One morn in foggy Albion's Isle, 
 I woke up with a sickly smile, 
 
 From out a troubled dream. 
 Oh, would that— leaving fogs behind — 
 'Twere mine, said I, to sail and find 
 
 (Or better still to steam) 
 The lands where milk and honey flow : 
 It must be like a fall of snow 
 
 Composed of clotted cream. 
 
 ^Not that the clotted cream seemed good — 
 I could not touch the simplest food, 
 
 The sight would turn me sick. 
 My eyes were weary, nerves unstrung, 
 A nutmeg-grater was my tongue, 
 
 My pulse a feeble tick. 
 With care oppressed, of hope bereft, 
 I really had not even left 
 
 One solitary kick. 
 
 Tims would I toss about all day 
 From side to side, then faint away, 
 
 And could not lie, sit, stand. 
 The doctors bade me, for health's sake, 
 A voyage of discovery make, 
 
 To some " untrodden strand." 
 And, as the Strand in W.U. 
 Is not, well, quite unknown to me, 
 
 I other regions scanned. 
 
 They could not mean the Emerald Isle, 
 For that's been trod a longish while, 
 
 By poor down-trodden Pat. 
 Nor yet, I think, far Afric's strand, 
 Where fountains roll down golden sand: 
 
 For all the world know s that. 
 No, nor our good old Plymouth strand, 
 Where buld Armada's fate was planned. 
 
 What were they driving at? 
 
 The more I thought, the more I dreamed. 
 The clearer to my mind it seemed 
 Things pointed to the West.
 
 BAEIA TO RIO DE JANEIRO. 137 
 
 And as I further threshed it out, 
 Beyond all possible shadow of doubt, 
 
 Brazil " panned out" the best. 
 Sou'-west, said I, I'll steer my way, 
 And try, as pioneer, to lay 
 
 This spirit of unrest. 
 
 Discovery is the cure for me, 
 
 The doctors say : that means the sea ; 
 
 So I must find a ship. 
 Thus, to the Royal Mail I hied. 
 And boldly booked aboard the Clyde, 
 
 To take an eight-weeks' trip : 
 And, in due course, I reached a place 
 Whence, climbing up a mountain's face, 
 
 I perched upm the tip. 
 
 And there below lay all I sought : 
 The fairyland my dreams had wrought. 
 
 Here was a slice of luck ! 
 Not all in vain discoverers roam, 
 Who bring such conquering colours home, 
 
 Out-streaming from the truck ! 
 Rio Janeiro's name and mine 
 Shall liuked in history's pages shine. 
 
 Hurrah ! for British pluck ! 
 
 Perhaps you think this far too strong : 
 Read on and I will prove you wrong, 
 
 If you'll attention pay. 
 Permit me, sir, by argument, 
 To try and put you on the scent 
 
 Of what I want to say. 
 If Livingstone lad had no name, 
 When enterprising Stanley came, 
 
 Would he have found him — pray? 
 
 America, I've heard them say, 
 Was by Columbus found one day, 
 
 But that I rather doubt : 
 He with a name, the place with none, 
 I think the odds are ten to one, 
 
 'Twas t'other way about. 
 All the world over 'tis the same ; 
 Until a place has got a name, 
 
 How can you find it out ?
 
 138 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 Wherefore, I think, 'tis fair to say — 
 And let the past say what it may — 
 
 That I ;— (volente deo), 
 Whatever others may have done, 
 That I ; — (perhaps not I alone, 
 
 Yet ipsius faeto meo), 
 While others may have found the Bay 
 Without a name, that I can say, 
 
 I have discovered " Rio." 
 
 To me it seems extremely clear, 
 
 That those who first came spying here, 
 
 Could not know what to seek. 
 Here come some toilers up the slope, 
 I'll cheer them with a little hope, 
 
 As they approach the peak. 
 "Rio Janeiro! friends," I cry, 
 To which they smilingly reply, 
 
 "Thanks, we've been here a week." 
 
 'Tis ever thus the door is shut t 
 I'll just make one more effort, but — ■ 
 
 It must be done by stealth. 
 I'll fly to golden Argentine, 
 And to the Plate of silver sheen, 
 
 And find (electro) wealth ! 
 
 ***** 
 
 Ah, no ! I'll leave all that to you : 
 There's but one thing for me to do, 
 That is, discover health. 
 
 " How shall I set about the task?" 
 Ah, how indeed ! myself I ask : 
 
 I've only got her name. 
 I knew her once, and knew her well, 
 And how I lost her cannot tell : 
 
 She went just as she came. 
 But when I find her you shall know, 
 How, when, and where you ought to go, 
 
 If you would do the same.
 
 ( 139 ) 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 RIO DE JANEIRO TO BUENOS AIRES. 
 
 November 12th. — 10.20 a.m. The anchor is up, and we are 
 leaving Eio and threading our way through the groups of 
 tiny bright green islands that dot the channel in all direc- 
 tions, under the shadow of Corcovado towering superbly over 
 all the minor mountains. Presently we pass the Sugar Loaf 
 and round the point, again meeting the welcome breeze we 
 had as we entered. This time the Clyde faces it, and cutting 
 through it makes for the open sea. 
 
 The emigrants went ashore at Pdo, and so did a large 
 number of passengers. The ship seems quite deserted, and 
 the dining-saloon at lunch looked very bare. At dinner we 
 shall compress ourselves into a smaller space, and leave some 
 tables vacant. We look a very unsociable set at present, 
 three, two, and even one only at some tables. 
 
 Noon. — Although we must be thirty miles away, the smell 
 I got last night of the market, an utterly indescribable stench, 
 still lingers with me. It is almost painful to think of this 
 Eden lying in a bay so fair and yet so utterly polluted. 
 Would it not be possible to drain the city by cutting a 
 channel from the foot of Corcovado through the lagoon that 
 lies to the left of the Botofogo road ? 
 
 3 p.m.— The Captain has just made his reappearance, with 
 his throat in layers of cotton- wool like the Doctor, who is
 
 140 
 
 "nOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 still invalided. It is only inflammation of the tonsils, but 
 the depression it causes, which is a well-recognized feature 
 of the disease, is great. Both of them look wretchedly ill. 
 
 4.30 p.m. We have just met the Cleopatra (Captain 
 
 Musgrave) from Monte Video— an English man-of-war, on 
 her way to Eio, where she is to meet the Basilisk, from 
 Bahia. They are sent by our Government to salute the flag 
 of the Republic on the 16th inst., the first anniversary of its 
 birthday, and so to recognize the change of government. 
 
 p -m< — As the dinner-bell rings, the sky becomes suddenly 
 overcast, and a native of these parts, with whom I am talking, 
 predicts bad weather. These appearances are well-known 
 indications of the cyclone known as the " Pampero." Heavy 
 rain is falling, another ominous sign, as we go below. I 
 may have the luck to encounter some real Monte Videan 
 experiences. 
 
 8 p. m . — The weather-threats continue, and Mr. Graham 
 
 most opportunely relates one of 
 his experiences of a cyclone 
 in the Japan seas, in a brig of 
 but eight hundred tons. They 
 lost their rudder and the greater 
 portion of their deck, and three 
 out of a crew of six were dis- 
 abled by a wave that hurled 
 them the length of the ship. 
 They were at first reported as 
 washed overboard, but were 
 ! afterward* found in the stern- 
 sheets badly injured. During 
 The cyclone. the four days the gale lasted all 
 
 fires were out, and passengers and crew, living on biscuits,
 
 RIO BE JANEIRO TO BUENOS AIRES. 141 
 
 worked in relays night and day, bailing the ship, whose boats 
 went under and filled at every lurch. The captain had 
 twenty-three hours' duty at one spell, lashed to the bridge, 
 and had at the same time to deal with a mutinous mate who 
 refused to set a sail the captain ordered, insisting on 
 running under bare poles. In twenty-four hours the ship 
 drifted seventy-two miles. 
 
 Midnight. — All signs of a Pampero have passed away. 
 The sky is clear, but it is blowing half-a-gale, and our small 
 cargo of oranges has broken from its boxes and lies strewed 
 over the hold. 
 
 1 a.m. — The ship is rolling heavily, and smashes and 
 crashes are frequent. I remain on deck on the chance of 
 seeing a bit of weather. The "Southern Cross" lies just 
 above the horizon, over the port bow, inverted, or rather the 
 diamond has risen from the oblique to a little above the 
 horizontal. 
 
 November 13th. — After breakfast the Yankee, who had I 
 suppose begun to get liverish, and wanted to be at his journey's 
 end, addressing us generally said, " I should like to know 
 what amount of coal is saved by laying this ' bumboat ' to 
 every night at 10 p.m. Well, putting her at half-speed, any- 
 how. If they'd only kept her at full steam last night, she 
 wouldn't have had time to go jumping and fooling around so 
 much." Others have made a similar mistake. The throbbing 
 noise that ceases so suddenly at 10 p.m. is caused by the 
 refrigerator, which is stopped between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m., 
 not to disturb the night's rest. 
 
 This Yankee's rattling style of comment on the ship, 
 reminded me of another American, who left us at Rio, whose 
 way of expressing himself was similarly free and florid. His 
 great delight was to get hold of the Chief Engineer, who is a
 
 142 " HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 passionate admirer of the big ship, and to draw comparisons 
 between the Eoyal Mail and the New Zealand Companies, of 
 course in favour of the latter. On such occasions he would 
 allude to the Clyde as " this nine-knot coal-barge." " As to 
 enterprise, it is a thing unknown on the Mail line. Why, 
 the N. Z." (as he called the other company) " would secure 
 a thousand tons of cargo while the Mail was getting fifty 
 tons." One night, in Mr. Ritchie's cabin, this American was 
 in a particularly unscrupulous humour, and seemed deter- 
 mined to spare no local colour to illustrate his reasons for 
 preferring the "K Z." to the "R. M."— not at all with a 
 view to convincing us or because he believed what he said 
 himself, but simply to "rile " friend Ritchie. 
 
 " Well, I'll just give you an instance of what I'm driving 
 at," he began. " A smart young captain of one of the N. Z. 
 steamers I was on, while we were lying off Pernambuco 
 waiting for boats to take our cargo inside the Recife, got 
 disgusted at the crawling style of those parts. At last, after 
 waiting twenty minutes, he made up his mind to leap the 
 reef. Well, sir, he just sent his engineer below, mounted the 
 bridge, waited till a wave of more than ordinary height was 
 fifty yards astern, and then signalling ' full steam ahead ' 
 lie rode his ship on the top of that wave, danced her over the 
 reef, and so took his cargo to market." " And what height 
 was that wave ? " asked our patient Chief Engineer with well- 
 assumed simplicity. " Well," said the unblushing humbug, 
 closing his eyes as if to recall the exact figures, " I remember 
 the height was much discussed at the time, but no one fixed 
 her crest at less than a hundred and seventy feet from our 
 taffrail. One put it as high as a hundred and eighty feet, 
 but that I think," said the candid narrator, "a shade too 
 generous ; " adding with delicious coolness as he relit and
 
 RIO DE JANEIRO TO BUENOS AIRES. 143 
 
 puffed at his cigar, " There s no good in exaggeration." In 
 which sentiment, considering the amusement this man's 
 yarns afforded us, I am not sure that I quite acquiesce. 
 
 11 a.m. — At Rio, the whole of this spacious cabin, nine 
 feet by seven feet, became mine. It is quite a little terri- 
 tory. And now that L can keep the port open as I please, it 
 is never too hot, and I fairly revel in it, reading or writing 
 here in preference to in the saloons. 
 
 It is a lovely day, the heat far more bearable, and the 
 breeze grand. In the night, indeed, the draught so blew 
 my sheet about that I had to close the port, and partly 
 close the door. The ship is light, too, and rolls much ; my 
 boxes rambled all over the cabin in the night. 
 
 Noon.— Lat. 27° 48' S., long. 46° 51' W. Run, 343 miles. 
 
 12.40 p.m. — One of the ship's kittens has been causing 
 roars of laughter among the children. She was toying gently 
 with the leg of a deck-chair, when a huge wave so tilted the 
 ship that it caused the chair to (seemingly) rush at her in 
 a most threatening way. Though scared and retreating, 
 she humped up her back, puffed out her tail, and was trying 
 to sidle out of the conflict, when in doing so she backed 
 into a second chair. Mistaking this for a second foe, she 
 spat a double broadside of oaths, by which she hoped to rake 
 both their decks, and taking a flying lopsided leap in the 
 air, finally alighted on the top of her first assailant. The 
 next moment (how soon one becomes calm amid life's 
 heaviest shocks), she was busy catching a butterfly or some- 
 thing under her left arm. 
 
 2 p.m. — At lunch it occurred to me that this was my birth- 
 day — six thousand miles from home ! As I always like to 
 know where I am on important occasions, I put the question 
 to the Chief Engineer. " A little below Santos," he said,
 
 144 
 
 HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 " and as nearly as possible off Eio Grande do Sul (the grand 
 river of the South), in lat. 28° S., long. 47' W." Multiplying 
 these figures by seventy (approximately the miles in a degree) 
 one gets about five thousand three hundred as the distance 
 from Greenwich as the crow flies (or would fly if you could 
 convert him into an aquatic bird). The difference of seven 
 hundred miles represents windings and digressions to avoid 
 shoals, collisions, etc., I presume. 
 
 8 p.m. — At dinner, after the sparkling wine, in celebration 
 of my advent into this world' of care, had produced the usual 
 toasts and speeches, I heard a funny story illustrating the 
 Doctor's powers of mimicry. One night w T hen Mr. Eitchie 
 
 was reading in his cabin 
 ■ *idg deeply absorbed, with his 
 
 head between his hands, 
 the Doctor passed, imita- 
 ting the Captain's voice 
 and way of addressing 
 him : — " Ah, Eitchie, 
 ah ! " Again and again 
 he passed, seven or eight 
 "Ali, Ritchie, ah!" times, on each occasion 
 
 giving the same disturbing call. At last friend Eitchie 
 could bear the thing no longer, and the next time the inter- 
 ruption came, without moving from his book, he growled 
 out beneath his teeth, " Gi' out ! Shove your head in your 
 mouth." Alas! This time it was the Captain. Tableau! 
 
 November 14/7*,— It has been getting cooler and cooler. 
 To-day it is cold, and I have had to change to warmer clothes. 
 The temperature is but 52°. There is quite a little gale on 
 from the south-west. Only two ladies showed up at break- 
 fast, and these both left early. The ship is pitching con-
 
 BIO BE JANEIRO TO BUENOS AIBES. 145 
 
 tinuously and violently for the first time. She was greatly 
 lightened by the cargo we left at Rio, and disproportionately, 
 for we are drawing twenty- four feet aft, and but sixteen 
 feet forward. One of the Brazilians left a bottle in my 
 cabin purporting to contain a French cure for sea-sickness. 
 It has acted like a charm on one lady who was wofully 
 bad. 
 
 Despite the weather, they are arranging a concert to-night 
 on a grand scale in aid of a charity, but I don't see how the 
 performers are to rehearse while they are all lying down in 
 their cabins, and the piano is up in the saloon. 
 
 11 a.m. — My vis-a-vis, Mr. Courtney, has just given me, 
 from his own experience, a good description of a Pampero, a 
 storm very common in the Argentine Campos, and indeed 
 all over the Plate district. It takes its name from the 
 Pampas over which, after gathering in the Andes to the 
 south-west, it sweeps with terrific fury, venting itself on 
 the countries bordering on the Plate and the shipping in that 
 mighty river, and carrying, according to its strength, mayhap 
 a favouring breeze or swift destruction to vessels far out on 
 the ocean we are now toiling over. 
 
 The first warning of the Pampero is the drifting of the 
 white electrical clouds from the north to their southern 
 rendezvous, their volume increasing all day till about 4 p.m., 
 when, looking southward, you will see them piled up range 
 above range like the very Andes themselves, and massed as 
 it were in battle-array awaiting only the word to charge. 
 No, not the word ; their signal is more solemn than word, 
 bugle-call, or wild war-cry. It is a dead calm — the air 
 stagnant, and laden with a heat as of molten lead — the 
 mere act of breathing a labour and a toil. The skin is 
 parched, the body bowed, and life itself a heavy load to
 
 146 " HO W I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 bear. The stillness is complete, intense ; every living sound 
 is hushed, even the song of the myriads of insects in the 
 baked grass. It is an awful silence, steeping the spirit of 
 man in dread forebodings. 
 
 But look, now at last there is a movement in the southern 
 sky ; all is ready for the grand cannonade. The foremost 
 range of cloud -mountains, advancing from end to end of the 
 horizon in majestic convolutions, gently stirs the air, which 
 anon ripples into a grateful breeze, the herald of the coming 
 storm. On and on, faster and faster, roll the mighty masses, 
 while stronger and ever stronger grows the breeze till it 
 becomes a gale. 
 
 The Pampas-grass is bending level with the earth. The 
 sky totters under its stupendous burden, looming black and 
 lurid in the fast-fading daylight, only a glimmer of which is 
 still unintercepted by the on-rushing avalanche of cloud. It 
 is a moment of supreme grandeur. Every living tiling cowers 
 earthward and seeks the nearest shelter — in the grass, behind 
 the trees ; the sheep to leeward of some stump or other, the 
 rider beneath his horse — or, should there be time, the horse 
 lies prone on the grass, his master beneath the saddle hastily 
 ungirthed. 
 
 And now, close your eyes and ears, for all the powers of 
 heaven and earth are giving way and rushing in the wild 
 frenzy of their new-found freedom. The heavens seem 
 suddenly to fall between the sun and earth. The loss of 
 light is sudden and awful, and almost complete darkness 
 follows at once from the myriads of birds driven before 
 the on-rushing gale. The thunder is crashing, roaring, 
 bursting, and multiplied in echoes ten- thousandfold. The 
 rain-torrent descends in a cataract illimitable. The hail 
 (the stones each a handful in size) brings death to the
 
 RIO BE JANEIRO TO BUENOS AIRES. 147 
 
 unsheltered, cattle, and even tears a pathway through houses 
 roofed with zinc. 
 
 The tempest-driven gossamers, each with its freight of 
 tiny insect life, torn everywhere from their hold upon the 
 trees and. shrubs, or caught in their airy wanderings across 
 the Pampas, are swept and gathered in ever-increasing 
 clouds, filling the hurricane leagues-deep with creatures 
 swarming in their silken cocoons, till the blast is laden with 
 their glutinous and gauzy nests. A hundred miles away 
 at sea the rigging of many a ship will be sparkling with 
 these web-like nests, borne, it may be, on a gentle-tempered 
 zephyr which left the Cordilleras a wild and raging Pampero. 
 
 Caught once in a cyclone of this kind out in camp, Mr. 
 Courtney and one of his men had a narrow escape, for in the 
 small space of twenty yards that separated their hiding- 
 places, the lightning, flashing like a thousand balls of fire, 
 consumed every blade of grass and every living creature. 
 They were terror-stricken, and each thought the other dead 
 till he found breath to answer to his name. 
 
 Thinking this bit of description rather "good copy," I 
 read it over to Pog just to r.ee him writhe. Bless you, his 
 withers were unwrung ; the only remark he made was, that 
 " timid people ought not to go out in such weather without 
 umbrellas." The laugh with which I received this sagacious 
 comment offended him, I suppose ; for, shifting his ground, 
 he tried his hand at more dissective criticism. And here 
 I must confess he scored better. Kepeating my concluding 
 words : " each thought the other dead till he found breath to 
 answer to his name," he fixed his eyes on me and said, " Now, 
 sir, if each man answered to his name, who was it called 
 it ? " " The other fellow, of course," said I promptly. 
 'Then, sir," retorted Pog triumphantly, with a judicial shove
 
 148 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 of two books near him to indicate the two men, " if this fellow 
 heard the other calling his name, how came he to think the 
 other dead ? " 
 
 Thus cornered, my only chance lay in the tactics of the 
 cuttle-fish, which baffles its pursuer by enveloping itself in 
 an inky fog. " Sir," said I, touching each book in turn, 
 " you appear to have overlooked the fact that this fellow 
 was the other fellow." " What ! " screeched Pog, visibly 
 swelling with excitement. " Calm yourself, my dear sir," 
 said I, " while I prove it to you. There were two fellows, 
 were there not ? " Here I placed Pog's two books just as he 
 had done. [" Well, sir ! "] " That's one fellow over there." 
 [" Well, sir ! "] " Then this fellow," said I, with a flourish of 
 the nearest book, " must be the other fellow ! " 
 
 He uttered not a word, and I left him with his glassy eye 
 peering into space. Thus did this fine old-crusted and 
 sempiternal joke, wherewith Noah may have beguiled the 
 tedium of his Arkic voyage, survive to beguile the modern 
 Pog. 
 
 "CAPTAIN CUTTLE." 
 
 Once a shark, of the genus called Pog, 
 
 Had a cuttle-fish cornered, for prog, 
 
 When, behold from a chink, 
 
 The fish squirted some ink, 
 
 Aud then scooted away in the fog. 
 
 Noon.—Lat. 32° 42' S., long. 51° 7' W. Eun, 368 
 miles. 
 
 3 p.m. — A passenger who joined us at Eio tells me not to 
 fail, on my return, to pause at Santos, and run up to Sao 
 Paolo — the Paris of the Brazils. It has, he says, a glorious 
 climate, and is Alpine both in air and situation. 
 
 8 p.m. — The ship is performing a sort of perpetual horn-
 
 BIO BE JANEIRO TO BUENOS AIBES. 149 
 
 pipe, like a cork on the top of a fountain; but as the announce- 
 ment of the concert had not been withdrawn, all who could 
 do so walked or crawled to the music saloon. The audience 
 represented all shades of opinion on maritime locomotion, 
 from the man who could stand with the aid of a taffrail, 
 to him who could only lie down by holding on to the floor ; 
 from the lady who, determining to be present, had stretched 
 herself in the saloon early in the day, to the poor sufferer 
 who, more dead than alive, contrived to stand by getting a 
 sailor to lash her to a pillar. 
 
 To this grotesque gathering presently came the manager 
 of the concert. I say " came," but that word hardly conveys 
 a true idea of the manner of his arrival. Paralytics I know, 
 and drunkards I know (by sight), but this man's entrance- 
 he was perfectly sober— can only be described as a strong 
 mixture of the two. All day long had the poor man, paper 
 and pencil in hand, been cruising about this floating earth- 
 quake, interviewing invalids (himself little removed from 
 one) for particulars of the music, songs, etc., for the concert. 
 
 One minute you'd catch sight of him, arm round a stay, 
 face to face with another man holding on to the bulwarks, 
 and trying to make a note on the paper, which would 
 suddenly jump up and poke the pencil in his eye. The 
 next time he would be grappling with a saloon chair, while 
 conversing with an invalid through the half-open cabin door, 
 which would dash at his features and fell him to the floor. 
 A little later, you would see him and a possible performer 
 he was overhauling on the deck, brought together in such 
 a way as to make them ever after, one would expect, bosom 
 enemies. 
 
 Well, this concert-agent-in-advance having by a series 
 of athletic exercises reached the piano, his remains thus
 
 150 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 addressed the audience : — "Ladies and gentlemen" (sits on the 
 music-stool), " I regret to inform you that circumstances over 
 which " (head strikes the piano) " she has no control, deprive 
 
 us of the pleasure of hearing Miss 's song. The Doctor 
 
 tells me also that, Miss and her father having this 
 
 morning fallen down the companion-ladder (in the order 
 mentioned), the young lady has felt rather below par and 
 must be excused." (Clutches at music on the piano.) " Miss 
 
 , who was to have sung 'Lay me in my little bed,' 
 
 finds she has now no excuse for the song, as she has not yet 
 
 got up. Mr. is present, and prepared to play the violin 
 
 if any gentleman will kindly hold it for him, as he requires 
 
 one hand to steady himself. Miss , who was to have 
 
 played a harp solo, has had an accident with the instrument ; 
 something wrong with the ' C ' led her to run over the 
 strings, and she unhappily fell through them." (Grabs at a 
 friend's hair.) " The gentlemen down for recitations are all 
 in attendance, but the noise caused by the wind renders 
 reciting difficult, so the Captain has lent his speaking- 
 trumpet, by the aid of which we hope to be able to hear 
 them." (Does an involuntary hornpipe.) He then produced 
 the trumpet, at sight of which, while weak women fainted 
 and strong men shed tears, an impetuous scramble was made 
 on all sides for the doors. Here there stood two men with 
 plates, and pointing to them the manager said, as he tried to 
 wrestle with the music-stool, " The collection will now be 
 made ! " 
 
 And so ended the charity concert, which I hear was 
 pecuniarily a big success. As to the enjoyment, I never in 
 my life witnessed more perfect unanimity. I saw several 
 people on the other side of the saloon so overcome with 
 emotion that they rushed over to and embraced those on
 
 RIO BE JANEIRO TO BUENOS AIRES. 
 
 151 
 
 our side as if death alone would part them. There is nothing 
 like a movement of this kind to bring people together. 
 
 November loth. — 5.30 a.m. " Munty Viddy," as our ex- 
 naval Quarter-master calls it, is but five hours ahead. On 
 the starboard side land is quite close : it is the Ilha dos Lobos, 
 " The Island of Seals," near Moldonado. The sea, always 
 green as one approaches the land, is here a brilliant emerald. 
 It is a dangerous bit of navigation. Hereabouts is a shoal, 
 known as the " English-bank," with but two fathoms of water 
 over it, and yet there is no lighthouse. There was formerly, 
 but it was shifted to the main- 
 land, because the owner of the 
 seal-fisheries, where they captured 
 from twelve thousand to fifteen 
 thousand annually, complained 
 that the light frightened away the 
 seals. For the ship's course to 
 be good, the land-light has now 
 to dip behind the island, which 
 lies low, and — as the obscuration " Li S at astern ! " 
 
 is but momentary — very careful watching is needed. The 
 Clyde has the island on her right, but if she had it on her 
 left, and she were to try to pass between it and the mainland, 
 she would be lost. 
 
 The cold is intense. In the night, besides my blankets, 
 I had heaped upon the bed my railway-rug and Inverness. 
 This morning I have my thickest clothes, mackintosh, and 
 winter gloves all on, and still am not warm. Scarcely any 
 one took his tub, I find. Mine was only made bearable by 
 adding a lot of hot water. 
 
 9. a.m. — We are off the Ilha dos Flores, " The Island of 
 Flowers " (as they euphemistically call the wretched quaran-
 
 152 " BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 tine station here), and within sight of Monte Video. This 
 roadstead is utterly unprotected, and one of the most dangerous 
 in the world. A proper port would long ago have brought a 
 stream of commerce, that would by this time have made of 
 this beautiful city a second Singapore. 
 
 10 a.m. — We are abreast of the city, whose long straight 
 streets rising from the sea, cut the buildings into symmetrical 
 blocks. Standing on a promontory, open to the bay on one 
 side and to the broad Atlantic on the other, its streets are 
 constantly cooled by the fresh sea-breezes that sweep them 
 from end to end. On the front is the Cerro, or mount, that 
 gave the city its name ; it is five hundred and five feet high, 
 and visible twelve miles out at sea. On the summit is a 
 lighthouse whose revolving light can be seen more than 
 double that distance. It occupies the middle of an old 
 Spanish fort, which has frequently been used as a prison for 
 political offenders. The sides of the hills are very steep, and 
 render the place so difficult of access that during the nine 
 years' war, from 1842 to 1851, it was never once taken. 
 
 The bay, which is only about a mile wide at the entrance, 
 expands inwards into the form of a horseshoe, with 
 anchorage for five hundred vessels, but the draught rarely 
 exceeds fifteen feet. 
 
 10.30 a.m. — We are at anchor, and have hoisted the yellow 
 flag, as all vessels are required to do until they have obtained 
 "pratique." The quarantine doctors have visited us and, 
 hearing of the death on board, have gone ashore for instruc- 
 tions. This has an ugly look. Here and at Buenos Aires these 
 almighty doctors have the character of being very exacting, 
 and at times capricious. On one occasion, an in-coming 
 vessel was visited by the inspecting doctor while the Captain 
 was dressing, who, not to delay his visitor, ran out to meet him
 
 RIO DE JANEIRO TO BUENOS AIRES. 153 
 
 as he was, coat in hand. Before he could get it on or utter 
 a word, the doctor was at him. " You seem in a hurry, sir ; 
 1 will give you four d.tys' quarantine to finish your dressing.'' 
 What's more, he kept his word. 
 
 Surely there is some way of stopping this sort of thing. 
 How would reprisals answer ? For instance, for us to pass 
 as usual all passengers landing in England except Argentines 
 and Uruguayans, who, every soul of them, should be subjected 
 to " fourteen days off the ' Mother Bank.' " I fancy some- 
 thing of that kind would have a good effect. 
 
 Our passengers are busy already, five or six of them fish- 
 ing to kill time till our fate is settled. They are killing fish, 
 too. I saw them land a lot of fine Corbinas, very good eating, 
 and some catfish from two to three pounds apiece. 
 
 11.15 a.m. — Launches are coming alongside — there are 
 seven now, and more are on their way, all flying the yellow 
 flag, and full of friends to greet our passengers. But between 
 us and them there is a great gulf fixed, to be bridged by 
 salutation only from ship to ship. None are allowed to 
 board, unless they are prepared to remain should we be 
 quarantined. But they have sent us quantities of lovely 
 flowers. A handsome brunette and her good-looking husband 
 are rocking violently in a launch at my feet, and emphatically 
 waving hands to friends aboard. She has a lovely smile, full 
 of white teeth, and is dressed quite in London style. Her 
 husband is in a light dust-coat and low-crowned white hat, 
 the lady in a silk dress of claret shot with salmon, over a 
 pink skirt. Surmises are endless as to quarantine, but nothing 
 is yet known. Patience ! 
 
 The roads are full of shipping. Over our bows is a French 
 Messageries Maritimes steamer, and behind us a Pacific 
 vessel, bound for Valparaiso. The latter is the Aconcagua,
 
 154 "HOW I FOUND" IIEALTH. 
 
 Mr. Graham tells me, 3200 tons, and was in Port Philip 
 when he was there in 1877, at which time she was the 
 largest vessel that had entered Melbourne. She and the 
 Lusitania were the rival boats of those days. Now, I suppose, 
 there are vessels running there as big as both these rivals 
 put together. Even the Clyde looks double her size. 
 
 Mr. Petty, the thirty-seven-years' pilot of these parts, and 
 by far the best-known man in them, has just come on board. 
 He is a rough-looking man, but a very genius at his business, 
 I hear. He has a standing salary from the Eoyal Mail 
 Company of £1000 a year, and is said to be worth £30,000 
 at least. 
 
 Noon. — The order has come — quarantine for twenty-four 
 hours, " for observation," as it is termed. Only those for 
 Monte Video will be landed at Flores, twelve miles back, to 
 which we are now returning. The discipline is very galling. 
 To be landed in a rough sea at a lazaretto ; there to be lodged 
 in barracks, fourteen beds in a room ; to be guarded by 
 sentinels with loaded rifles ; to have one's luggage fumigated 
 by disinfecting steam which spoils all silks and leather ; — all 
 this, I say, makes up a fair amount of discomfort. But it 
 must be remembered that only twenty years ago imported 
 yellow fever turned Monte Video into a mere city of the dead. 
 And seeing that we have had a death on board, although 
 we know there was nothing infectious about it, we must 
 make some allowance for scepticism in those who have the 
 news at second-hand. 
 
 1 p.m. — " By the mark five," cries the Quarter-master, 
 sounding as we approach Flores, and sharp comes the word 
 from the bridge — " Let her go ! " We anchor off the laza- 
 retto, and half-a-mile from shore, as the lunch-bell rings. 
 
 While the poor folks, who for their sins are to be interned
 
 BIO DE JANEIRO TO BUENOS AIRES. 
 
 155 
 
 in this hole, are getting their last snack of decent food, the 
 ship's boats and steam-pinnace are being got ready to land 
 them, for no help comes from the shore people. Mr. Courtney 
 says on his first journey he had fourteen days' quarantine here. 
 
 3 p.m. — Our steam-launch, after swinging in the air over 
 our starboard side, and kicking up a row as if gasping and 
 coughing from its own smoke while steam was being got 
 up, has just towed two boat-loads 
 of passengers to Flores, and re- 
 turned for two more. It is about 
 as desolate an " island of flowers " 
 as you could find. Not a tree or 
 shrub upon the whole half-mile of 
 it. Nothing but some white- 
 washed sheds with tiled roofs, and 
 a white- washed lighthouse with a 
 red cap and weather-cock. These 
 at one end : then come a hospital 
 in the middle, and a cemetery at the other end. No wonder 
 the charges are inclusive ; there are no extras, — nothing but 
 a shed, a hospital, a grave. The order is charmingly sug- 
 gestive of the natural stages of life, and here there is not 
 much choice amongst the three. You can use any you may 
 require, or indeed all of them, if it so minds you. 
 
 From the ship we can see the smoke of the fumigating- 
 house, creating literally a purgatorial fog through which I can 
 discern our poor imprisoned people wandering about listless 
 and wretched. The order is only for twenty-four hours, it is 
 true, but caprice may make anything of it up to fourteen days 
 — or even a month — and they don't give you " the option of 
 a fine." Indeed, the sentence always includes a fine of two 
 and a half dollars (roughly 12s. Gd.) per day per head. 
 
 A chip of the old block."
 
 156 
 
 BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 5 p.m. — At last we wave our final farewells to the captives 
 at Flores, and steam back to Monte Video, where for the 
 second time we cast anchor at 6.5 p.m., for the night. 
 
 A basket of pears has just come aboard. They look 
 superb, and remind me that I have heard of pears here 
 during the season weighing as much as ten pounds the dozen. 
 The cargo of oranges and bananas is being discharged into 
 lighters which will remain in quarantine ; the oranges are 
 transferred by bucket-loads poured down an air-shaft funnel. 
 The bananas, in bunches of a hundred, are thrown from hand 
 to hand by a chain of eight men reaching from one hold 
 to the other. 
 
 While shipping and stowing our boats just now, I saw 
 one of our black sailors nearly lost through the slacking of 
 
 the tackle. He leapt for his life, 
 poor fellow, luckily caught the 
 swinging boat, and hung on by 
 his finger-tips till his comrades 
 rescued him. The manning of 
 this boat was accomplished, I 
 hear, in four minutes. The ship- 
 ping of it occupied twenty 
 minutes by my watch. 
 
 It interested me rather to see 
 how the davits, from which the 
 boat hung, were worked. The 
 boat is suspended over the side 
 from two upright long-handled 
 Saved ! hooks, so arranged on pivots that 
 
 the handle-ends are, by means of a hand-screw, forced out- 
 wards from the ship ; the hooked ends move inwards till the 
 boat lianas over the deck.
 
 BIO BE JANEIRO TO BUENOS AIRES. 157 
 
 7.30 p.m. — Mr. Ritchie and I, leaving dinner before the 
 rest, were just in time to see the sun set. A blood-red 
 western sky irradiated with orange, flooded Monte Video 
 (facing it) with pale rose, softening the angles of the streets, 
 toning down the stiffness of the blocks of buildings that cover 
 the hill-sides from the country to the sea, and paving the 
 broad thoroughfares with gold. No twilight here to effect 
 a gradual transformation — all is sudden and full of surprises. 
 We had been looking perhaps five minutes, and in that time 
 the sun had sunk behind the sea. On looking again at the 
 city, the rose tint has faded away, and out flash the stars 
 and with them the lights on shore a score at a time — here, 
 there, and everywhere — till it seems as though the diamond 
 dust in the blue vault above us, that illumines the ocean 
 and the shipping, is falling in a silver summer shower upon 
 the city. 
 
 8 p.m. — Pog, who leaves us to-morrow — going straight to 
 Corrientes, five days' journey from Buenos Aires — has been 
 spinning us his last yarn. 
 
 It appears that in the Jubilee year, after a week's festivities 
 in his native town, a watch was found in the cricket-ground. 
 The news soon spread, and brought no less than three 
 claimants for it — whom we will call respectively A, B, and 
 C. The first two were strangers to the town, and C a resi- 
 dent. Unfortunately, though none had seen the watch, all 
 three were in some way able to describe it as " a silver 
 hunter," and none of them could do more. 
 
 Strange to say, each claimant had lost it on a different 
 day, and as the watch when found was going, there seemed 
 little doubt that it belonged to C, the man who said he 
 lost it the night before it was found. But to A and B this 
 was not conclusive, for each asserted that his watch would
 
 158 "HOW I FOUND" IIEALTH. 
 
 often stop when put down, and begin going again when 
 taken up. 
 
 " It was at this point," said Pog, " that the finder, being 
 in a fix, asked my advice. All the men were in my hall ; 
 would I interview them ? Not seeing my way to be of any 
 use, I protested, refused, begged, entreated. Then, all on a 
 sudden, a thought struck me, and I said, ' Lay the watch 
 on the table, show the men in one at a time, and I will 
 hear what they have to say.' It should here be explained 
 that on the table there was nothing but a silver hunting- 
 watch and an open penknife, and that I arranged to put 
 my questions from a chair half-turned towards the fireplace, 
 where, as I sat apparently reading, a sloping mirror over the 
 mantelpiece enabled me to see the reflection of the table and 
 any one standing there. 
 
 " Presently in came A. ' You say that the watch is yours, 
 sir ? ' I began. ' Be so good as to tell me by what marks 
 you know it.' ' Those,' said he, pointing with the penknife 
 to some marks in the inside of the watch, ' are my initials.' 
 I looked and saw they were. The watch was given him, he 
 told me, by his uncle, when he returned from the Crimea. 
 ' You may go,' I said. Next came B, and, strange to say, 
 he also was able to show me a distinctive mark. The watch 
 was cjiven him by his mother, a deeply religious woman, 
 in her last illness, and there, yes, there was the very cross, 
 the sacred emblem with which she had marked it. Then 
 came C, who at the merest glance said decidedly that the 
 watch was not his ; that his had no initials and no cross. 
 Yet all had thought this man was the true owner. « Well,' 
 said I, ' then it rests between A and B ; please call them in 
 again.' They came, and when all three stood before me, 
 I spoke thus : ' Gentlemen, it is quite clear to me, that the
 
 BIO BE JANEIRO TO BUENOS AIBES. 
 
 159 
 
 watch that has been found does not belong ' (turning to 
 A and B) ' to you or to you, and as C says it is not his, 
 why, I'm going to keep it myself, and with that I began to 
 fasten the ' silver hunter ' of the cricket-field on to my chain. 
 ' Stay, sir,' said C ; ' may I look once more ? ' 'By all 
 means,' said I, handing it to him ; when instantly he 
 exclaimed, ' But that is my watch ! ' and pulling a key out of 
 his pocket he showed us all how it exactly fitted the watch. 
 ' Take it, sir,' I said, ' for I can trust your bare word for it. 
 The watch I showed you all at first, the one C said was not 
 his, and in which two of you have so kindly scratched certain 
 initials and a cross, was my watch; and, believe me, I shall 
 always treasure it the more for the hieroglyphics in memory 
 of A's uncle, and the pretty device placed there by B's 
 mother. 
 
 " And with that," said Pog (finishing his whiskey), " I bowed 
 out A and B and smoked a cigar with C and the finder. 
 There's the very watch," said he, 
 showing us the scratched initials 
 and the cross. " It is a treasure, 
 and too good to wear at sea, but 
 my other is in hospital with a 
 dislocated hand. Some of you 
 may have heard the story. You 
 perceive it is a cripple. During 
 the voyage I broke off the other 
 hand and lost it in my pocket, but 
 a scientific friend, knowing the 
 magnetic power of the dynamos 
 below " He had sot so far 
 
 " Solomon Tog, Esquire ! " 
 
 with this oft-repeated tale, when the contrast — I suppose 
 it was — of his cuteness just exemplified, and his childlike
 
 160 " HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 simplicity in the matter of the dynamos, which of course 
 had been the talk of the Clyde, so tickled us that we 
 all burst out into one long ringing guffaw. "And now, 
 gentlemen," said Pog, snapping the watch and returning 
 it to his pocket, and not the least bit disconcerted by our 
 rude reception of his intended anecdote, " good night ! " 
 And he was off before we had time to reflect, or I believe 
 some of us would have carried the dear old boy to his cabin> 
 so pleased were we with the yarn and its telling. 
 
 " Boys," said the Yankee, who was among the audience, 
 " raise your glasses with me to the health of Solomon Pog, 
 Esquire." And we did. 
 
 November 16th [Sunday). — 7 a.m. We left Monte Video, I 
 hear, at 2 a.m. I got up at 6 a.m., since when I have had 
 a long chat with Mr. Petty, the pilot, who lives at Colonia, or 
 "Little Town," thirty miles up the Paver Plate. As he 
 speaks from a long experience, I thought his views worth 
 noting. 
 
 He holds that trade-unions have utterly ruined English- 
 men. When only a youngster and working as a stevedore, 
 he made up his mind to do whatever fell in his way. 
 " Others," said he, " might fight and abuse the Captain for 
 giving them an extra watch — not I. Nothing ever came 
 amiss to me. Your English sailors everywhere, now, look for 
 extra pay for the least bit of extra work. Trades-unionism 
 has made them mere machines. So much fuel produces so 
 much work, and no more. All enterprise is gone. While 
 every other race out here thrives, the Englishman is a failure, 
 and none will employ him. I have a man (a Spaniard) at 
 home, who has been with me for years, and is worth at least 
 £2000. He cleans my boots, tends my horse, and does any- 
 thing I tell him. If I send him a wire to meet me, he is
 
 RIO BE JANEIRO TO BUENOS AIRES. 
 
 161 
 
 up at 4 a.m. and has to drive thirty miles, and when he has 
 taken me home he's good for twelve hours' work, if I want 
 it of him. Why, while a German, or a man indeed of almost 
 any other nationality, will save out of a small screw, the 
 Englishman must be a member of half-a-dozen clubs and is 
 for ever in debt." 
 
 A Union advocate would probably reply to Mr. Petty 's 
 views when a stevedore, that for one stevedore that would 
 become a capitalist on his plan, the Union could show ten or 
 a dozen, and that as to his present point of view, a capitalist 
 is not likely to approve of labour uniting to thin his profits. 
 But whatever the " pro's and con's " of this question may be, 
 whether trade-unionism is good or evil, or like most men 
 and things a mixture of both, and whether being either, 
 neither, or both, it has aught to do with producing the shift- 
 less Englishman of Mr. Petty's experience, is a small matter 
 beside the undeniable fact, whatever its 
 cause, that the average Englishman is 
 not in favour in the Republics of South 
 America. 
 
 A friend tells me that in Argentina 
 every drunken man is said to be an 
 Englishman, and when an Englishman 
 dies, drink is always recorded as the 
 cause. Indeed borracho (drunkard) is 
 the opprobrious name bestowed on Eng- 
 lishmen indiscriminately, varied only by 
 the term gringo (dog, greenhorn, or fool), 
 equally offensive to the man if not to 
 his moral character. They have a pretty 
 proverb illustrating their contempt for 
 us : — « An Englishman and a dog go on the sunny side of 
 
 M 
 
 " On tlie word of an 
 Englishman ! "
 
 162 " HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 the street," As a set-off against this, it is cheering to find 
 in the Brazils that the strongest asseveration a man can use 
 is the phrase, " On the word of an Englishman." 
 
 As an Englishman— borracho, gringo, or whatever else it 
 pleases the Argentine to term me — I should like to ask him 
 where he and his benighted country would be now but for 
 the money that we borrachos, gringos, or what-not have 
 found him. 
 
 I know he has a pretty busy life, investing John Bull's 
 money in cigarettes, champagne, button-hole bouquets, and 
 general self-adornment, and I wouldn't hurry him for the 
 world. But when he can for a brief moment " unstring the 
 bow," I should like an answer. 
 
 Monte Video, from the mast-head of the Clyde.
 
 ( 163 ) 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 BUENOS AIRES, ROSARIO DE SANTA F£, LA PLATA, ETC. 
 
 November 16th (Sunday).— 9. 4:8 a.m. We are anchored four- 
 teen miles off Buenos Aires in the river Plate, that being 
 the nearest approach to shore our draught will permit us to 
 make. At Monte Video this mighty river is sixty miles 
 wide, and at Point Piedras, on the south side of its mouth, 
 the water is nearly fresh. Here at Buenos Aires, which is 
 a hundred and twenty miles up the river from Monte Video, 
 it is still thirty-five miles wide. The rivers composing the 
 estuary called Pdo de La Plata (" the silver stream ") are the 
 Uruguay and the Parana. The former, rising in Brazil and 
 dividing the southern portion of that country and the 
 Republic of the Banda Oriental from the Argentine Pro- 
 vinces of Corrientes and Entre Eios, is nine hundred miles 
 long. The rivers Paraguay and Parana meet at Corrientes, 
 and there unite to form the greater Parana. 
 
 Geologically the two shores of the river Plate differ greatly, 
 the soil on the Buenos Aires side being alluvial, and pro- 
 ducing not a stone as large as a marble, while that on the 
 Monte Video side possesses an abundance of granite. 
 
 Noon. — The launch has come to take us and our luggage 
 ashore. 
 
 Till quite lately, a good part of the landing was effected 
 by means of high-wheeled waggons ; now, an Agent of the
 
 164 "BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 Villa Longa Company (authorized by the Government) comes 
 on board and takes charge of your luggage at a cost of from 
 2hd. to Is. per article according to size, and the tenders take 
 it and you to the door of the Custom-House. 
 
 1 p.m.— The launch is dashing along through a lumpy sea. 
 We have already passed no less than eight wrecks, with the 
 masts showing above the water, but no buoys to mark them. 
 A fat, puffy little frigate, named Terror del Mundo, is on 
 our port side. Then come more wrecks to starboard — more 
 — more. Two canoes are in fall flight up the river. More 
 masts peep out of the water. Two dredgers are hard at work. 
 The new part of the town is now visible to the right, and 
 presently we pass a cemetery on a hill. 
 
 In 1881, twenty thousand people died in Buenos Aires 
 alone of yellow fever, and were buried there a hundred at a 
 time, gum-trees being planted on the spot as disinfectants. 
 
 A breakwater is just in sight, with shipping lying thickly 
 off the point of it ; then come huge emigrant-sheds, beneath 
 tall factory chimneys, and the dock and Custom-House. 
 
 2 p.m. — We draw up beside the famous Stirling Castle, 
 s.s., now re-christened the Sud America, just arrived from 
 Naples, her smaller draught allowing of her coming right 
 into the docks. She it was, I think, that made the fastest 
 run on record, twenty-one days, from Naples to Sydney 
 Heads. While waiting to pass our luggage, Mr. Ollendorff 
 and I went over her, but she looked dull, sombre, and dirty, 
 after the dainty Clyde. 
 
 6 p.m. — p g has passed his things and taken his farewell 
 of us m route to Corrientes. I shall miss him terribly on 
 the home voyage. What with his good humour, his comic 
 face, and his quaint style, he was, and liked to be called, 
 " the ship's comedian."
 
 BUENOS AIRES, R0SAR10 BE SANTA FE, ETC. 165 
 
 7 p.m.— It has taken us just five hours to pass our luggage. 
 Many got all but one box four hours ago, but that last box, 
 perhaps, was at the bottom of the second or third tender -load, 
 and so made all that difference to them. 
 
 A party of four or five of us is bound for the Hotel 
 l'Universelle in the Calle St. Martin; Mr. Ollendorff kindly 
 takes me to dinner at his Club, "The Residents and 
 Strangers" in the Calle Victoria, and also makes me 
 " transeunte/" i.e. free of it, during my stay of ten days. 
 
 In recording a few impressions of Buenos Aires and the 
 surrounding places of interest, it will I think be better to 
 drop the diary form, and to present them so far as I am 
 able, in the form of a continuous narrative embracing the 
 whole of the short period of my visit. Afloat, the mention 
 of incidents in the round of the clock may help others, as it 
 did me, to realize the length of the voyage. But ashore, there 
 is no such need. I propose therefore to treat the subject as 
 a whole. 
 
 By way of introduction it will be only necessary for me 
 to say that the Argentine Republic, of which Buenos Aires 
 is the chief city, has a population exceeding four millions, 
 of whom one million arc Italians. It occupies a territory 
 triangular in form, some two thousand miles in length and 
 about one thousand at its greatest breadth. It is divided 
 into fifteen provinces, each of which manages its own internal 
 affairs. Its army is a medley of Indians, half-breeds, and 
 negroes, most of whom are married, and, comical to say, are 
 accompanied on the march by their wives and children. 
 
 One's first impressions of Buenos Aires itself, the land 
 of " good winds " (and pet-named by its inhabitants " The 
 Pearl of South America"), are far from pleasing. The 
 houses near the docks, or : 'Boca" (Mouth), built in the
 
 166 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 dull Creole style, are heavy and sad looking: but things 
 improve as one approaches the more central parts of the 
 city. In form Buenos Aires is very like Monte Video ; that 
 is to say, it is built in " Quadras," or squares, so that viewed 
 from a balloon it would look like a huge chess-board. It 
 lies true to the points of the compass, N. S. E. W., which 
 they say is a mistake, as the streets are all more or less 
 deprived of the cooling effects of the prevailing winds, which 
 do not blow from those quarters. 
 
 Two sets of streets cross one another at right angles one 
 hundred and fifty yards apart, and the houses are numbered 
 up to one hundred only, the numbers being given to doors, 
 windows, anything to exactly exhaust the hundred. By this 
 plan the location of a house is easily determined : No. 2020, 
 for example, would be in the twenty-first block, and so on. 
 As a few of the principal thoroughfares are as much as 
 three miles long, some such system is indispensable, more 
 especially as flys are hired at half-a-dollar per twenty 
 squares. 
 
 The old houses are of one floor only, and are arranged in 
 two or three " Patios," or courtyards, into which the various 
 rooms open. The new residences are built on the " Altos," 
 or upper floors plan. But they have also a Patio, visible 
 from the outside through the gate, in which are plants of 
 all kinds— palms, ferns, small olives, etc.— and generally a 
 fountain which gives them a delightfully cool appearance. 
 The whole is screened from the sun and rain by a huge 
 awning. Bents are huge also— about three times as high as 
 in England. 
 
 Modern improvements are seen on all sides. The old 
 way of calling attention when visiting a house, for instance, 
 was to clap the hands and cry " Ave, Maria ! " now they hail
 
 BUENOS AWES, ROSARIO BE SANTA FE, ETC. 167 
 
 Maria, or whatever the servant's name may be, with the 
 electric bell. 
 
 The streets are lighted by brackets from the walls, thus 
 freeing the thoroughfares from lamp-posts. The lamps give 
 a good light, but the streets are dull compared with ours, 
 the reason being that the intense heat causes people when 
 at home to sit in the dark, and the streets suffer in bright- 
 ness accordingly. 
 
 Plaza Victoria, Buenos Aires. 
 
 Founded by Spaniards, Buenos Aires bad for a time all 
 the characteristics of a port in the south of Spain, but as 
 settlers came — British, French, German, Italian, Portuguese, 
 Brazilian, and Uruguayan, etc. — each brought his own notion 
 of architecture, till its buildings, like its half-million of 
 people, have become a hotch-potch. 
 
 The first thing that strikes the stranger is that nobody
 
 168 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 seems to walk, but he ceases to wonder at this when he sees 
 how plentiful horses are. All flys have two, and well- horsed 
 trams will take him anywhere for about twopence, Indeed, 
 any one seen walking outside the town is known at once for 
 a gringo, i.e. (at its mildest) a greenhorn, or fresh arrival 
 from Europe. 
 
 The next point I noticed in my drive through the city 
 to my hotel, was the extraordinary number of squares, 
 or " Plazas." Ten or twelve years ago, Mr. Ollendorff told 
 me, these were mere barren patches, evil-smelling rubbish- 
 heaps, where the gauchos stabled themselves and their 
 ox-drawn waggons. To-day they are adorned with trees, 
 flowers, and fountains, and form one of the sights of the 
 place. The principal of them is the Plaza Victoria, occupy- 
 ing eight acres, and bordered by double rows of palm trees. 
 In the centre is a fountain and the monument commemo- 
 rating the 25th May, 1810, when Argentina threw off the 
 yoke of Spain. 
 
 On one side of the Plaza is Government House, called 
 Casa Rosada, from the pink stone of which it is built. Here 
 the late President of ill-repute, Dr. Celman, gave balls 
 and bancpiiets rivalling in splendour the entertainments of 
 European courts, till the revolution of 1890 caused him to 
 retire, on a fortune of very many millions sterling, to Piosario 
 de Santa Fe, where, strange to say, he is allowed to remain 
 unmolested and in possession of his stolen hoards. 
 
 Facing this is the Bolsa, or Exchange, where every twenty- 
 four hours the value is declared of the fluctuating paper- 
 dollar. In 1825 the Argentine dollar was worth 4s. 2d., but 
 the nationalizing of the Buenos Aires Bank made it the tool 
 of the government, who caused it to issue paper beyond its 
 capital, and the dollar began its downward course. For
 
 BUENOS AIRES, ROSAUIO BE SANTA FE, ETC. 169 
 
 although the law declared paper a legal tender for which 
 specie could not be demanded, the bank's credit so suffered 
 that by 1828 the dollar had become worth no more than a 
 shilling. It made a spurt after the war with Brazil, and 
 got recognized as worth 2s., but it could not " stay," and 
 was soon offering itself for sixpence, then fourpence, then 
 threepence, and eventually became literally a tuppenny- 
 liapeiiny affair. During the time of my visit, at the end of 
 1890, it fluctuated between Is. 2d. and Is. 5d. 
 
 On a third side of the square stands the Cathedral, built 
 something in the form of the London Royal Exchange, 
 topped by a small dome and dwarf spire at one end. It 
 
 Tire Cathedral. 
 
 contains the remains of General Saint Martin, who, after 
 liberating Argentina from the Spanish yoke, was expelled in 
 1850 and allowed to die in exile in France. Thirty years 
 later, in 1880, the tide of popular opinion turned in his 
 favour, and his body was brought home and interred with 
 great pomp. Four statues guard the grave, personifying 
 Agriculture, Industry, Justice, and Liberty— Industry being 
 represented (somewhat incongruously in a sacred edifice) by 
 a hammer and saw.
 
 170 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 The fourth side of the square is unfinished, and still 
 retains very distinct traces of its ugly Spanish origin. 
 
 The finest church in Buenos Aires is the church of the 
 Eecoleta (Eemembrance), of pure Soman architecture and 
 Italian marble beautifully carved. It is the property of 
 Senor Don Carlos Cuerrero, a wealthy citizen, and was built 
 — at a cost of £50,000— in memory of a beloved daughter 
 who was murdered by her lover in 1878. She is buried 
 beneath the altar, and a stained-glass window, brought from 
 Florence, illustrates the chief incidents of her life. 
 
 The principal street, Calle Florida, is looked upon by the 
 Argentine as the El Dorado of the world ; it is his ideal 
 promenade. The trams that used to run down it have 
 been diverted, and the street has been paved with wood, 
 and has become to him more precious than is Eegent Street 
 to London, the Boulevard des Italiens to Paris, Unter den 
 Linden to Berlin, or Fifth-Avenue to New York. He fairly 
 revels in enthusiasm about this fourteen-foot road with its 
 two-foot pavement, and takes the stranger there as the first 
 thing he ought to see. In this, and the adjacent Cangallo, 
 Piedad, and Saint Martin streets, are situated nearly all the 
 business houses. A local guide-book speaks of Florida in 
 the following pathetic terms. The description (I give it 
 verbatim) is, I should say, from the pen of a naturalized 
 German, judging from the style. 
 
 " Such a spectacle cannot be witnessed anywhere else in 
 the wide world. All that is young and beautiful is here. 
 Youno- gentlemen loll about on the narrow pavements, got 
 up in the latest style, rosebud in perfectly-fitting frock-coat, 
 feet squeezed into patent leather boots, with thin cane in 
 gloved hand waiting for the Beauties to pass. And the 
 Beauties pass in bevies, in light silks cut to show the contour
 
 BUENOS AIRES, BOS A BIO BE SANTA FE, ETC. 171 
 
 of their figures, and with elastic step they flash glances from 
 their naughty eyes to their admirers, from whose lips 
 delighted exclamations of insipid compliments and not seldom 
 insolent importunities proceed — some of which, in Europe, 
 would be considered as serious insults. They are distract- 
 ingly beautiful, and carry themselves with a rare grace and 
 native-born ' Chic ' ; they know their loveliness and like to 
 hear it from 'others' of the male gender. If the compliment 
 paid is not too provoking, the complimented fair one or the 
 complimented fair one's mother, or sister, or aunt, will turn 
 round and with a be- 
 witching gravity reply 
 with a 'gragias, cahallcro 
 (not ' good gracious ! ' but 
 ' thank you, sir ' !) A 
 foreigner hearing and 
 seeing such for the first 
 time, generally stands 
 still, open-mouthed, no 
 doubt fancying himself 
 in a modern Sodom. 
 But these coquetries are " Gramas, calallero ! " 
 
 not to be looked upon as want of virtue. The beautiful, 
 elegant, and coquettish young ladies with their brilliant- 
 glancing eyes, and who use their fans with such ' chic,' are 
 not worse than others who blush at the least bold word." 
 
 Among the principal places of interest must be men- 
 tioned the Kecoleta Catholic cemetery, — accessible by the 
 Palermo tram — where, as the same guide reminds us, 
 " nothing is to be seen outside, because the creative genius 
 of Torquato de Alvear (an ex-mayor) has put a high wall 
 all round the graveyard." Here I came upon the oldest
 
 172 "HOW l FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 grave, the resting-place of an Englishman who — as my guide 
 quaintly said — " had the 'pleasure of being the first person 
 buried there." 
 
 At the circumference of this wall are the graves of the 
 poorer classes, and in the centre the family vaults or 
 mausoleums of the wealthy, mostly of marble and with 
 domed roofs. On looking through the iron gratings abutting 
 on the intersecting paths, the coffins may be seen laid in 
 rows on shelves round three sides of the vault. All are 
 decorated with flowers and wreaths of immortelles, and on 
 certain of them vast sums must have been expended, for they 
 are veritable temples or chapels, and their decorations very 
 chaste and effective. 
 
 The epitaph on one grave tells of an awful tragedy. It 
 reads : " Don Francisco Alvarez, Asesinado por sus Amigos, 
 1828" — "Assassinated by his; friends." Having lost their 
 money to him, it seems, they lured him to a lonely spot 
 and wiped out their debts in his blood. It is something to 
 the credit of Argentina, at that time a rather lawless country, 
 that despite great influence they were executed. 
 
 In another part lie, in one common grave, the victims 
 of the tyranny of President Eosas. Don Manuel Eosas, the 
 blood-and-iron president, who ruled from 1830 to 1852, was 
 what is known as a gaucho (gowcho), that is, a descendant 
 of the aristocratic Spanish Dons who in early days consorted 
 with Indian women : for the Grandees and Hidalgos, who 
 ruled these Spanish colonies, did not hesitate to seek the 
 society of the Pocahontases of the Guarani race. 
 
 In character, I am told, the gaucho is at once indolent and 
 active, dividing his time between racing the hurricane on 
 his tireless oronclio (horse), and holding high revel with his 
 mistresses and his chums.
 
 "BUENOS AIRES, liOSARIO DE SANTA FE. ETC. 173 
 
 In his native wilds he will not steal nor do a mean act, but 
 when he becomes a resident he will rob a blindman. He eats 
 beef roasted on a spit, without salt or bread, and drinks yerba 
 mate — Paraguayan tea — which he sucks through a tube. He 
 yields obedience to no 
 law, is polite and cruel 
 in the same breath,, and 
 equally dexterous in 
 playing on the soft man- 
 dolin or slitting a throat. 
 When sober he is peace- 
 ful: when drunk, a howl- 
 ing, savage, remorseless 
 fiend. He is brave as- 
 a lion, nimble as a cat, 
 has great powers of en- 
 durance, is a loyal friend 
 and an implacable foe. 
 With all these qualities, 
 it is not surprising that 
 the gaucho has exercised 
 a powerful influence on 
 Argentina, retarding civilization until immigration had in- 
 fused new blood in excess of the old. 
 
 Don Manuel Eosas, then, was a gaucho, and the son of a 
 wealthy Spaniard who held a kind of patriarchal sway over 
 the Peons that tended his flocks and herds. As the son 
 grew up, the father had to yield place to his stronger will, 
 and young Eosas became a sort of gaucho leader, in which 
 character during the war of 1829 he commanded a regiment 
 against the Indians. From this powerful position of chief 
 of the gauchos, the step was easily made to the presidency 
 
 A gaucho.
 
 174 " EOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 of the Republic, in which capacity this self-appointed 
 dictator remained the head of an absolute despotism for the 
 greater part of a quarter of a century — in defiance of the 
 laws and the constitution. 
 
 Inheriting from his father the arrogance and superstition 
 of the Spaniard, and from his mother the craft and cruelty 
 of the Guarani Indian, and supported by the loyalty of 
 his gauchos, of whom all the people of the towns stood in 
 fear, he ruled the country, with his inflexible will for its 
 only law and death for its only penalty. Crafty as a fox, 
 bold as a lion, trusting none but his daughter Mannileta, 
 he played the tyrant from Paraguay to the Straits of 
 Magellan, till blood flowed like water. He killed alike 
 friend and enemy, and no man could go to his bed in safety 
 from his masorqueros (secret assassins). He made blood- 
 shed his trade, and stayed his hand only when the nation, 
 tortured into subjection, lay quivering at his feet. He had 
 his oldest friend, who had been a second father to him, 
 murdered in cold blood. No tie of family 
 or friendship was of any avail, nor did 
 obscurity secure any from his daggers. 
 
 Perverting even hospitality into a 
 weapon, he invited two Caciques Indians 
 to a palaver and treacherously hanged 
 them. At another time, posing as cham- 
 pion of the Church, he executed a young 
 English lady and the priest who had seduced her. 
 
 From first to last his victims numbered five thousand eight 
 hundred and eighty-four. Four were poisoned, three thou- 
 sand seven hundred and sixty-five died by the sword, one 
 thousand three hundred and ninety-three were shot, and 
 seven hundred and twenty-two assassinated.
 
 BUENOS AIRES, ROSARIO BE SANTA FE, ETC. 175 
 
 The money issued during his tyranny bears testimony 
 to his egregious vanity and arrogance, for it bore, in addi- 
 tion to his portrait, the inscription "Eternal Eosas." For 
 all that, as luck would have it, this " Goliath " was made 
 to bite the dust one day, in the year 1852, by a " David " 
 in the modest person of General Urquiza : and once 
 again — 
 
 The giant "Might" 
 Was overthrown, 
 By stripling "Eight," 
 With sling and stone. 
 
 It is not pleasant to read that this reptile speedily found 
 asylum, and a warm welcome in England. 
 
 The domes and towers of the Eecoleta, as seen over the 
 wall as you pass onward by tram to Palermo, are very 
 striking, having quite an oriental appearance. By the way, 
 these trams are worth a moment's notice. No mules here, 
 horses being far cheaper. A 
 mule will fetch £20, whereas 
 you can buy a horse for 30s., a 
 decent one for £5, a good one for 
 £10. Notice, too, how the hills 
 are negotiated. Without stop- 
 ping the tram, a boy smoking a 
 cigar on an odd horse with lassoo 
 round the Mexican saddle, sal- 
 lops up, throws his rope which 
 is hooked on to the side of the 
 tram, and off he goes dexterously 
 paying out the line till it becomes 
 taut, and up we go to the top, where he is cast off. The 
 tram-driver clears his way with a horn, on which he plays 
 quite a little tune by fingering the end like a picco pipe. 
 
 A tram auxiliary.
 
 176 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 The tone is something between a Punch squeak and a Swiss 
 pipe. 
 
 There is one excellent arrangement about the trams 
 here ; they run out by one route and home by another, 
 so that a single line suffices, and the traffic is also better 
 dispersed throughout the city. In fact, a second line of 
 rails would consume the entire width of the widest streets 
 here, and the others would not hold two rows at all. 
 
 A quarter of an hour from the Kecoleta the tram, after 
 passing through the really fine Avenida Alvear, lighted 
 throughout by electricity and containing some of the best 
 examples of large family residences the city possesses, stops 
 at Palermo, where is a grand Corso fully sixty feet wide, 
 under the name of Avenida Sarmiento, which stretches from 
 the high-road to the river in one unbroken line for over a 
 mile. It is a thoroughfare of which any capital in the world 
 might feel proud. The footpath on both sides is shaded 
 the entire way by overarching palms, and is bisected by 
 the Rosario and the Northern railways, between which lies 
 what formerly was the palace of the tyrant, President Piosas. 
 This building, once the scene of monstrous orgies rivalling 
 in debauchery the worst Ptoman Saturnalia, is now used as 
 the Argentine military college. 
 
 Here begins the park called "3de Febrero," thickly planted 
 with semi-tropical plants, poplars, and paradise-trees, and 
 brightened by artificial lakes and rivers crossed by rustic 
 bridges. It is also the site of the Zoological Gardens, which 
 are here free as the park itself, and thronged with visitors 
 on Sundays and holidays, when a military band adds to the 
 enjoyment of an exquisitely beautiful promenade. The 
 sight here in the cool of the evening, when all the wealth 
 and beauty of Buenos Aires flutter out like butterflies
 
 BUENOS AIRES, ROSARIO BE SANTA FE, ETC. 177 
 
 from their noonday shelter to this breezy park, is truly 
 magnificent. 
 
 The paths are lined with well-dressed pedestrians, and 
 handsome park-phaetons, American trotting-cars, or chaises 
 with little awnings, sweep along the broad Corso beneath 
 the electric light. It is a crowd of all nations, gathered 
 from every corner of the globe, arrayed in every colour of 
 the rainbow and possessing every type and tint of face from 
 Calmuck to classic Greek, from black to blonde. 
 
 The night I saw it, the park, Corso, and river were all 
 bathed in moonlight, and the effect of the young moon, with 
 
 
 
 
 Belgrauo, Buenos Aires. 
 
 Jupiter close by her as a satellite, was charming and brilliant 
 beyond anything of the kind to be seen in Europe. 
 
 The fire-flies here are superb. I captured a few — some 
 blue, others brown — the largest measuring as much as six 
 inches across the wing. 
 
 Besides Palermo, the chief suburbs are Belgrano (the 
 English quarter), a little further on by the same tram, Flores, 
 Caballito, Almagro, Lomas, etc., abounding with picturesque 
 " Quintas " (or country seats) owned for the most part by 
 British and North American families. 
 
 Coming back to the city, the Plaza General Lavalle, also 
 
 N
 
 178 " HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 called Plaza del Parque, claims attention as being not only 
 a fine square, but one of the scenes of conflict during the 
 revolution of July, 1890. Here the insurgents struck their 
 first blow by seizing the guns and ammunition stored in 
 the Arsenal ; and from here the attacks of the government 
 troops, stationed three squares away in the Plaza Libertad, 
 were repulsed. 
 
 Another enormous square is the Plaza Once de Septembre, 
 where stands the terminus of the great Great Western Eail- 
 way, the centre of all transactions in the produce of the 
 country — wool, hides, wheat, maize, etc. The terminus of the 
 Great Southern Piailway, said to be the finest building of its 
 kind in the country, is situated in a vast square decorated 
 with artificial grottos, the Plaza Constitucion. 
 
 The chief clubs are the " Eesidents and Strangers," and the 
 " Cosmos " — the latter a gambling resort, and patronized 
 mostly by the fast young men about town. 
 
 There is a well-supported and prosperous rowing club, 
 that has its head-quarters at Tigre, a most fashionable resort 
 about an hour by rail up the river. The annual regatta 
 here is held in high esteem, and is said to rival Henley in 
 the brilliancy of the company it attracts. 
 
 Cricket, football, lawn-tennis, polo, swimming, sailing, 
 horse-racing, each has its representative club, and some — 
 such as " The Hurlingham " — count their members by the 
 hundred. 
 
 But apart from these luxurious provisions for the comfort 
 of the well-to-do, it is cheering to notice some philanthropic 
 undertakings. Foremost among them are the public in- 
 stitutions, founded by the English-speaking community, viz. 
 the British Hospital, a large well-built edifice standing in 
 its own grounds, and the Victoria Convalescent Home.
 
 BUENOS AIRES, ROSARIO DE SANTA FE, ETC. 179 
 
 This brief sketch would be incomplete without some 
 allusion to English journalism. " The fourth estate " seems 
 to be ably represented by the Standard and the Buenos Aires 
 Herald, both of which publish a weekly edition destined 
 for Europe, and the Southern Cross, the organ of the Irish 
 Catholic residents. 
 
 One of the first and most noteworthy places I visited was 
 the Plaza General Lavalle, the scene of the revolution of 
 but sixteen weeks earlier. But I had scarcely left the Hotel 
 rUniverselle before my friendly guide found me something- 
 interesting. This was a milkman on horseback, with skin 
 panniers, in which the 
 
 milk was actually 
 churned by the jolting of 
 the horse. These milk- 
 men bring their supplies 
 from great distances in 
 the country, and teach 
 their horses the peculiar 
 jolting walk, a sort of 
 half-trot, in fact, so as to 
 churn the milk as they 
 £0. It is no uncommon 
 
 The lechero (milkman). 
 
 thing for a man, short of butter, to give what he has and to 
 say he will call with the rest after another round or two of 
 the square. Thus, the milk in Buenos Aires is what we should 
 call skimmed milk. If you want it richer, they will bring 
 the cows and milk them at your doors, which is a striking- 
 commentary on the confidence one Argentine reposes in 
 another. 
 
 A little further on, my friend drew my attention to 
 another and more scientifically interesting object. In the
 
 180 
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 same street, Calle Saint Martin, is a clockmaker's shop in 
 which a curious incident occurred. In 1861, a place called 
 Mendoza, the terminus of the railway towards the Andes, and 
 eight hundred miles from Buenos Aires, was visited by an 
 earthquake. Before the news of this calamity, involving the 
 death of fifteen thousand people, had time to reach the city, 
 the proprietor of this shop had made the discovery that 
 every one of his clocks differed twelve seconds from his 
 chronometers. The tidings of the disaster brought the 
 probable explanation, for not only had the earthquake 
 
 Plaza Lavalle. 
 
 occurred at the exact time of the clockmaker's discovery, 
 but the shock had lasted precisely twelve seconds, no doubt 
 retarding the pendulums for that period. 
 
 Arrived at the Plaza General Lavalle, we found it almost 
 in the condition the revolution had left it, scarred in all 
 directions with shot, shell, and bullet. On the day of the 
 outbreak, this square was guarded by a regiment of artillery, 
 which presently joined the citizen-forces, already number- 
 ing about two thousand. Krupp guns were then stationed 
 at each corner of the square, and as regiment after regiment 
 deserted the colours, they assembled in the centre of the
 
 BUENOS AIRES, ROSARIO BE SANTA FE, ETC. 181 
 
 square, which thenceforth became the head-quarters of the 
 revolutionary party. The national troops, drawn up in 
 the adjoining square, Plaza Libertad, attacked this position 
 in the morning of the following day, but were repulsed with 
 a loss of five hundred men. The entrenched rebels lost 
 three hundred, and hundreds of mere spectators were killed 
 on housetops and balconies. By 10 a.m. a flag of truce went 
 up for burial of the dead, who numbered over a thousand. 
 It makes one smile to hear that at this crisis, an undertaker, 
 instructed by General Lavalle, who commanded the national 
 forces, to provide a large 
 
 ■"■ ° l(l HERRERIA 
 
 number of coffins, declined 
 to do so except on cash 
 terms. Some generals 
 would have strung him 
 up over his own door (not 
 a bad signboard for an 
 undertaker's) and helped 
 themselves to his stock 
 in trade. But this revolu- 
 tion seems to have been characterized by a politeness which 
 is quite refreshing to chronicle. Or perhaps one ought 
 rather to say the tactics were somewhat of the playground 
 variety. 
 
 In the cafe at the corner of the square, they showed us 
 bullets by the score, and several shot and shell, all of which 
 had been picked up in and about the house. With my pen- 
 knife I extracted a bullet from a blank wall hard by, and I 
 have brought it — the bullet, not the blank wall — away as 
 a memento. 
 
 The greatest sufferers in this outbreak appear to have been 
 the police. The Argentine laws are excellent, being an 
 
 A street scene during the revolution.
 
 182 
 
 HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 embodiment of the best of all countries. It is their adminis- 
 tration that is defective. The police, whose pay is always 
 in arrear, are driven to any and every means of earning their 
 bread. Their natural perquisites, of course, are bribes ; but 
 all people will not bribe. It is difficult to bring yourself, 
 for instance, to pay a constable not to " run you in " when 
 you slip down in the street. But you had better do so, 
 because Tie would overlook the offence for a dollar, whereas 
 if you leave it to the commissary, it will cost you forty 
 times as much. A man of distinction in the city, told me 
 he had to pay $40 f or slipping on a piece of orange-peel. 
 The charge preferred was " drunkenness," of course, and no 
 protest was of any avail, for there are no magistrates, and 
 the commissary's decision is final. In this country, if you 
 ask the commissary what you're charged with, he invariably 
 replies — mechanically — " $40." 
 
 Another told me he was taken before one of these gentry, 
 and fined $20 for being found with a gold watch-key hanging 
 to his woolly coat. After paying the fine, the constable was 
 allowed to go home with my informant, to hear if there 
 was any truth in his statement that the 
 key was his wife's. But would you be- 
 lieve it ? — when this was proved to the 
 satisfaction, or rather dissatisfaction of 
 the constable, who had been entrusted by 
 the commissary with the fine, he coolly 
 returned $15 only, saying he hoped he 
 might retain his $5, as he was a poor man. 
 
 It may be imagined, from these instances of their conduct, 
 in what contempt the police force is held. Hated alike by 
 both sides engaged in the revolution, they were put in the 
 forefront and made, as it were, a buffer between the two 
 
 ^f"' 
 
 
 Argentine police.
 
 BUENOS AIRES, BOSARIO BE SANTA FE, ETC. 185 
 
 forces. One present and under arms told me that if there 
 was nothing else in sight, rather than be idle he shot a 
 policeman, and he saw a man cpuietly kneel down, take aim, 
 and knock over three one after another. 
 
 If you want to pass the time, 
 
 Shoot a p'lieemau ! 
 A proper skittish time, 
 
 Shoot a p'liceman ! 
 Every member of the force 
 Must be cotched and slain, of course ; 
 If you want to pass the time, 
 
 Shoot a p'liceman ! 
 
 The death-roll of the police shows the share they had in 
 the fighting. Five hundred killed out of six hundred ! 
 
 These figures and those already given make an ugly 
 butcher's bill ; but were it not for this grim aspect of the 
 rebellion, the account I had of it from an eye-witness would 
 be truly comic. I cannot resist giving it verbatim, just as 
 I noted it down. The story seems almost incredible, but 
 my informant, a man of good position and repute, told it 
 me in the presence of three others, who like himself had 
 seen the whole affair, and they corroborated him. 
 
 " Disaffection existed in the army as far back as 1874, 
 when three or four officers out in the pampas planned a 
 revolt. It came to nothing, however, on that occasion, either 
 from lack of funds or of pluck. But the spark of revolt 
 smouldered on until July last, when, all being supposed to 
 be ready, the outburst came. The orders given were that 
 at 3 a.m. on the 2Gth of July, a small cannon was to be 
 fired from the tower of the church overlooking the Plaza 
 Libertad, as the signal for a general rising. At this signal 
 one body of citizens, already selected for the duty, were to 
 seize the President, Dr. Miguel Juarez Celman ; a second
 
 186 
 
 HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 detachment was to arrest the Vice-President, Dr. Carlos 
 Pellegrini ; and a third were to secure General Lavalle, the 
 Minister of War. This done, balloons were to rise from the 
 rebel head-quarters, as a signal to the fleet in the river (the 
 Maipii, the Vallarino, and the corvette Patagonia, which 
 had agreed to join the revolutionary party) to open fire on 
 the government buildings. 
 
 " Well, all these orders were carried out except four. 
 First, the squad who had to take the President, deemed 
 him such a contemptible scoundrel that they would not 
 waste their time on him. Secondly, 
 Pellegrini remained unmolested because 
 the thirty men detailed to seize him 
 could not get rid of the one policeman on 
 guard at his house, and who ought to 
 have gone off duty earlier. Thirdly, the 
 Minister of War escaped because his in- 
 "Jl tended capturers did not hear the 3 a.m. 
 " No go ! " g U11} though they listened with their 
 
 hands to their ears till 5 a.m. And no wonder, for it 
 was afterwards discovered that the officer who was to have 
 fired the signal-gun had forgotten to do so. And fourthly 
 and finally, the fleet looked on through its glasses in silence, 
 because the men who were to have given the balloon signal 
 had forgotten to get any balloons. A day or two later, how- 
 ever, the fleet attempted to retrieve its laurels by opening 
 fire on the city during an armistice, having this time (for 
 variety) mistaken their comrades' signals. 
 
 " The end of this four days' shooting (which I have heard 
 some Argentines dare to compare to the American Civil 
 War) was worthy of the tactical skill displayed on both 
 sides during hostilities. The government agreed to the
 
 BUENOS AIRES, R0SAE10 BE SANTA FE, ETC. 187 
 
 President being superseded (the one thing the rebels had 
 fought for), and to all rebel officers retaining their rank, 
 provided the government were acknowledged victorious. 
 
 " The fact is, the entire reconciliation seems to have been 
 based on a pack of falsehoods. The people had won all 
 along the line, they held all the arms and ammunition in 
 the city — depositories were found crammed with them at 
 the close of the struggle — and they could have dictated 
 what terms they pleased to the effete government. But 
 from first to last, from the time when those entrusted with 
 the signals forgot (?) them, to the time when the rebels 
 were advised to surrender, the whole transaction was a 
 fraud. Is it credible," asked my informant, concluding, 
 " that a victorious government would retain the services of 
 mutinous and disaffected officers, restore them unpunished 
 to their former position, and leave them free to hatch (as 
 doubtless they are now hatching) another revolt ? " To this, 
 I take it, there can be but one answer. 
 
 There was not one morning during my stay in Buenos 
 Aires, when our breakfast was not disturbed by the news- 
 paper-touts in the street shouting, as they ran, rumours of 
 a fresh revolution. And little wonder, with gold one day 
 at 280 per cent., and the next rising to 350 per cent. 
 
 May I be allowed to say what this means ? It means 
 that my English sovereign will to-day just suffice to buy an 
 article marked $14 in a tradesman's shop, and that if I 
 defer my purchase till to-morrow, he will have to give me 
 $3 1 change out of it. The day before I left my hotel, gold 
 was at 350 per cent. ; the following clay it had fallen to 
 280 per cent. The drop came thus. On the Tuesday 
 morning, not only was the price on the Stock Exchange 
 350 per cent., but even higher offers were being made, when
 
 188 
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 some heavy loser by the increasing value, rushed in and 
 
 expunged all the day's 
 transactions from the 
 ' slate. Knives and revol- 
 vers were drawn and 
 freely used, and another 
 revolution was only 
 averted by the prompt 
 action of the military, 
 who cleared the place 
 and made a demonstra- 
 
 The metal exchange. "Lead is moving 
 
 tion in the Plaza Victoria in front of the Bolsa. 
 
 The following day, there being no quotations, the money- 
 changers throughout the city, heartily sick of the immense 
 price they had been paying for gold, formed a "corner," 
 and refused to give more than 280 per cent, of paper for 
 £100 in gold ; that is to say, refused to give more than #14 
 to the sovereign. The effect to me was this. If I had paid 
 my hotel bill of #70 on the Tuesday, I should have received 
 out of my English £5 note £1 change (each sovereign being 
 worth $17^, four of them would have sufficed) ; whereas, 
 paying my bill on the Wednesday, when but #14 were 
 obtainable for each sovereign, my £5 note was only just 
 enough to meet it. Multiply this by one hundred, and see 
 what it means. It is briefly this — that if you had yesterday 
 £500 a year in the funds, to-day you are worth but £400 a 
 year! Why, such a country must be a very hot-bed of 
 revolution. 
 
 But I must not dwell on these questions ; they are a little 
 out of place in a narrative of this kind. My only excuse 
 for referring to them at all here is that they interested me — 
 not unnaturally, 1 think, seeing how they touched my
 
 BUENOS AIRES, ROSARIO BE SANTA FE, ETC. 189 
 
 pocket — and I want to give any who may follow me some- 
 thing of everything that in any way coloured my experiences. 
 
 Calling at the London and Brazilian Bank one morning 
 to get some change, I met, and recognized by a strong 
 family likeness, the son of a very old friend in London. 
 This young fellow, of about twenty-three, had just come 
 out to the bank at a salary of £250 a year in gold. This, 
 with the exchange at 350 per cent., means that he can take 
 his 250 sovereigns to one of his own cashiers and turn them 
 there and then into £875 in paper. 
 
 I don't mean to say everything — board, lodging, clothing, 
 etc. — remains, as in the case I cited just now, unaltered, while 
 gold is careering up and down the scale. Prices are adjusted, 
 and many shops mark all their goods m/n (thus $10.50 m'n 
 means $10.50 money national). But for all that, while gold 
 rises, other things do not rise in the same proportion, and it 
 is safe to say that you get thirty shillings' worth for your 
 sovereign. 
 
 The news, just received, of the failure of Messrs. Baring 
 Bros., is responsible for the enormous rise in the value 
 of gold. They must have found it very hard indeed to 
 collect some of the rates they relied on here as interest on 
 their money. If a man thinks his water-rate too high, he 
 refuses payment, and if necessary 
 kicks the collector, whose only 
 remedy lies in a slow legal process, 
 for the law forbids the cutting-off 
 of the water supply. An Italian 
 on board said a good thing that fits 
 here : — " The credit of a man of ^/-= 4J^» Jf- 
 your own colour may be nearly Ex P ectatious - I Expectorations. 
 good enough for you to trust him: you can't say as much
 
 190 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 of any other man. A Spaniard will lift his cap for a loan 
 and spit a receipt for the money." 
 
 The contrast between the Spaniard and the Portuguese 
 is very marked. The Spaniard is — as I have noticed on 
 board, but one sees it more strongly marked here — turbulent 
 and rash. He is said, too, to be given to dangerous experi- 
 ments, rushing from bigoted royalty to the extreme of re- 
 bellion ; from tyranny to anarchy. The Portuguese, while 
 fully as vain-glorious, is more practical, cool, and cautious. 
 
 The qualities which distinguished the two peoples in the 
 Peninsula still influence their colonies and settlements. The 
 Spaniard seeks to model his new State on the pattern of the 
 French democracy and American federalism ; but Portugal, 
 under English influence, acquired such conservative tastes, 
 that when the House of Braganza fled from Lisbon, not only 
 was it welcomed at Piio, but Brazil became the Sovereign 
 State and Portugal the dependency, until absolute separation 
 was effected by compromise. 
 
 Brazil has lately drifted into a republic, I know; but 1 
 do not think that proves much. It was not fought for, and 
 the general feeling in the Eio is that the Emperor, dethroned 
 without a blow, could be as easily restored. At no time 
 in their history have the Brazilians shown a keen desire for 
 llepublican institutions, and it is noticeable that they took 
 but very slight interest in the Argentine and Paraguayan 
 wars. They appear to have joined without any selfish 
 motive, and retired on the first opportunity. 
 
 Their morality is higher, and they are far more trustworthy 
 than the Argentines, whose probity is tempted and corrupted 
 in every way, till one marvels, not that so many are dishonest, 
 but that any man remains honest. The paper currency, with 
 its ever-fluctuating value, saps the very conscience of the
 
 BUENOS AIRES, R0SAR10 DE SANTA FE, ETC. 191 
 
 nation, and opens the door to every species of fraud. Some 
 of us find it difficult to go straight in England, where the 
 shilling is always worth twelve pence. Just imagine what 
 things would be like if a shilling counted (at different times) 
 for anything between 3} 2 d. and 6d. 
 
 Let me give an instance of the effect of this uncertainty 
 as to the value of paper, upon one class only. The railways, 
 of course, safe-guard themselves by fixing their fares in gold, 
 and the market-price is wired every day all over Argentina 
 to the ticket-issuers, who should charge passengers accord- 
 ingly. But the passengers have no such information. They 
 have simply to pay what they are told, and so are at the 
 mercy of the railway officials, who — educated up to thieving 
 in such ways, as a livelihood — one may 
 be sure fully utilize the opportunity. 
 
 Even waiters at restaurants drive a 
 dirty little trade in the exchange busi- 
 ness. At one place I frequented, my 
 waiter one day treated my sovereign as 
 worth $14, and when I showed him the 
 quotation $14.80, said, " Yes, that is this 
 morning's : we don't act on that till 
 to-morrow ; " while another time it was : 
 " Yes, that yesterday's, but here is to- 
 day's " — just according to how it suits 
 the pocket. 
 
 The country is a grand country, the laws grand laws : but 
 the one has no rulers and the others no administrators. 
 
 Moreover the paper- currency is about the most scientific 
 furm of infection currency that could be devised. I have 
 seen the paper used for all sorts of purposes. If a man 
 soiled his hand in a tram-car, his bunch of paper money 
 
 Keady for the 
 liritislier.
 
 192 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 was used as a matter of course to wipe it on. Yet these 
 foul rags are the legal tender of the country, and rich 
 and poor alike handle and smooth them into shape for 
 payment. 
 
 It was enough to make one's gorge rise sometimes to see 
 this unrecognizable filth caressed by a tiny gloved hand, and 
 then to reflect through what slums it may have come, and 
 what pestilential microbes it may harbour. And this, in a 
 country where everybody perspires so freely that the paper 
 is always moist. Oh, Mr. Goschen, ponder on these things 
 before you poison people's pockets with polluted pieces of 
 paper ! Or, if we must have them, then call them all in 
 once a year, before the " dog days," and have them cremated. 
 
 During my stay we had the wind constantly from the 
 Xorth, making it hot (108° in the shade), moist, and relax- 
 ino- so that even natives suffered from headache, and said 
 that although only late Spring, the heat was as great as 
 in Summer. The native remedies for this kind of headache 
 are curious : one is an Acacia leaf moistened by the tongue 
 and stuck on the temples. Here is another: the inside 
 surface of a split broad-bean is scraped by the teeth, 
 moistened by the tongue, and each half is then applied to 
 the temples. Negro women are often seen ornamented with 
 these white patches : even young Argentines of position are 
 not proof against the innocent superstition. 
 
 Indeed, they are proof against very little of anything. The 
 climate is favourable to pretty nearly every form of frivolity, 
 and the men seem fully as pleasure-seeking and dressy as the 
 women. A London swell would be deemed insufficiently 
 adorned in Buenos Aires. Here you must have a figured 
 white waistcoat, a flower always in your coat, and, even in 
 business, your boots must be patent-leather, or, if common
 
 BUENOS AIRES, BOSABIO BE SANTA FE, ETC. 193 
 
 calf, they must be burnished like steel. To this end three or 
 four boot-blacking shops in every block do a brisk trade, and 
 there, seated on a high chair, the young Argentine may be 
 seen twice or thrice every day being glorified at the small 
 charge of five centavos (just under a penny). 
 
 For my sins, it fell to my lot once during my stay to see 
 a native dandy dress himself. I will not mention the circum- 
 stances lest he should recognize them, for the description is, 
 as photographers say, " wholly untouched." His toilet 
 occupied just seventy minutes. 
 
 In a beautifully fitted dressing-case was every kind of 
 luxury the Burlington itself could produce. In front of this 
 altar his manicure and pedicure devotions occupied fifteen 
 minutes. Then came his scented tub, in which, quite un- 
 disturbed by my presence, he disported himself for fifteen 
 minutes more with his sponge like an adult " won't-be-happy- 
 till-he-gets-it." Next came the important selection of a shirt 
 (two being passed over as faulty), and of a waistcoat (there 
 were four of different patterns in white twill), then necktie, 
 trousers, patent-leather shoes, each requiring careful dis- 
 crimination. When these had been laid ready on the sofa, 
 came the washing of face and hands and the re-trimming of 
 nails. Then hairwashing with some stuff that formed a 
 lather. Time, fifty minutes. After this I witnessed the 
 brushing and parting of the hair, the latter a most delicate 
 and difficult operation, during which perfect silence was 
 maintained. Next followed a thorough "spring cleaning" 
 of the teeth with some Parisian charm, which of course 
 was all right enough. Time, one hour. The next eight 
 minutes were devoted to getting into the clothes, and the 
 final two minutes to scenting a handkerchief on both sides 
 while it lay on a pillow, and (this the last touch of all) spray - 
 
 o
 
 194 
 
 "HOW 1 FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 ing hair, face, and neck with scent from a regular hair-dresser's 
 india-rubber double-balled spray-producer. 
 
 Early as it is in the year, the mosquito (from mosca, a fly — 
 mosquito, a little fly, in Spanish) is on the war-path, and for 
 a little fly he is very fly indeed. He is not always little, 
 though, for I have seen him an inch long. He hides himself 
 in a crack in the wall while you are undressing, and you 
 may search everywhere, you will find him nowhere ; yet 
 the moment your light is out he is everywhere, and you are 
 nowhere. That's just the difference. 
 
 As to curtains, they're very like burglar-proof safes : with 
 patience they can be easily picked. The way to use them is 
 first to make sure that no little nuisance is inside already. 
 Next you must get a fan. Then., lift the curtain edge six 
 inches, blow out the light, whisk your fan, dive under on your 
 stomach, and draw in your legs. If you do these five things 
 within one and a half seconds, you may hope to be safe for 
 the night. I never could do them under 1*8 seconds, so the 
 
 mosquito always won. Once I 
 partly did it in To, all but the 
 legs ; I forgot them till too late, 
 and two mosquitoes had settled on 
 and marked them for their own. 
 But most times, being unused to 
 leap-frog in the dark, my dive 
 would land me plump into the 
 curtain, making a slit big enough 
 to admit every animal in the ark, 
 let alone a mosquito ; and, as a rule, these efforts ended in 
 my going to roost rolled up in the curtain. 
 
 Lying like this the other night, I heard one approach with 
 his trombone, clearly bent on serenading me. At first, with 
 
 Achilles in his tent. His 
 vulnerable point.
 
 BUENOS AIRES, B0SAR10 DE SANTA FE, ETC. 195 
 
 becoming modesty, lie seated himself on my uncovered knee, 
 and seemed about to begin the overture. No, he was only 
 tuning up, I found. But what does he want that angler's 
 stool for ? Confound it ! There goes the spike into my leg. 
 Augh 1 I could stand it no longer ; with one fell swoop of my 
 brawny arm, I knocked him and his little trombone and stool 
 into the middle of the room. 
 
 Nothing daunted, and only pausing long enough to collect 
 his scattered kit, the troubadour returned, so to say, "beneath 
 my casement " (the trombone a little flat, I thought, from 
 collision with the table-leg), and was sticking in his stool as 
 before. Augh ! I bore it while he cleaned his spectacles, and 
 then, just as he put them astride of his nose, I sent him bag 
 and baggage flying through space away among my clothes on 
 the sofa. Some time now elapsed, the interval being doubt- 
 less occupied by the mending of the spectacles with postage 
 stamp, and straightening the trombone with the leg of the 
 stool. But no time was wasted, for well under five minutes 
 the band was on its legs again. 
 
 Now, at close quarters, even a sound trombone is an inflic- 
 tion to me. Judge then of my feelings in this case, where a 
 short-winded performer was endeavouring to extract melody 
 from an instrument battered, cracked, and bulged, by swift 
 contact with half the bedroom furniture. 
 
 Pity for his youth and inexperience weighed with me for a 
 moment, but only for a moment, and then, summoning all my 
 strength, I brought my Nasmyth-hammer fist crashing down 
 on his entire stock-in-trade ; and utterly callous as to the 
 massacre, fell calmly asleep among the ruins, murmuring his 
 epitaph as I fell, Hequiescat in paribus — let him rest in 
 pieces. 
 
 Asking a friend what was good for mosquitoes, I got the
 
 196 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 reply, " Why, you are, or they wouldn't eat you, my dear 
 fellow." 
 
 The garcon, who attends to my room, has a capital plan 
 for getting rid of them. He knows of some stuff, to be had 
 for a dollar, that will so " make to smell " my bedroom that 
 no mosquito will remain in it for ten seconds. " Burn this," 
 he says, " for four days." " But I leave here in four days from 
 to-day," I explain. " Mon dieu ! then," says he, " ve must begin 
 at vonce." Nothing would do but I must give him the dollar ; 
 but I have got him to begin on the room of Mr. Courtney, 
 who is not leaving till Thursday — five clays hence. Thus 
 have I secured my friend at least twelve hours' peaceful 
 occupation. It gives me sincere pleasure to do Courtney this 
 good turn, as I broke his stick the other day, pointing out 
 a cockroach with it to a friend. It was altogether too 
 slender a thing for pointing out Argentine cockroaches. 
 
 Say what you will, there is a brotherly bond amongst us 
 English, that links our lives and interests, wander where we 
 may the world over. 
 
 Sauntering through the Mercado Centrale (Central market) 
 one very hot day, and while lunching off some fruit there, I 
 noticed a tall well-built man of slim figure, in a tightly 
 buttoned frock-coat, tall silk hat, and trousers, all in good 
 condition except that the trousers were muddy and kicked 
 into rags, and, being too long, were gathered in folds or 
 shreds above a pair of boots burst in every direction ; his 
 a^e was perhaps thirty-five years. Meet him coming up your 
 club stairs, and, from his refined carriage, you would take 
 him for a barrister or M.P. for the pocket-borough of his 
 family. (He reminded me of Col. Hughes-Hallett, ex-M.P.) 
 Meet him coming down, and you would want to know why 
 the ball-porter admitted such a tramp.
 
 BUENOS AIRES, R0SAR10 BE SANTA FE, ETC. 197 
 
 He passed me to get to some filthy rotten fruit displayed 
 in heaps on a large basket — black, moist bananas, pinky- 
 grey strawberries, and mildewed oranges — all nearly hidden 
 under black masses of flies, who were having dessert, after 
 dining on the putrid meat at the next butcher's stall. He 
 paused, turned the garbage over in his mind and with his 
 finger, and bought the lot for ten cents (about l^d), had it 
 put up in a newspaper, and carried off his parcel in front of 
 him by the lower end, as if it had been a bouquet. 
 
 What did he intend doing with that refuse? I tried to hope 
 it was for his rabbits (though I felt it would have killed them) 
 — but his boots and trousers at the 
 ankle forbade that consolation. I 
 followed him, hoping to get him to 
 accept a trifle, though he had a proud 
 look that didn't promise me much 
 success. Alas ! he vanished, where to 
 or how I could not tell. Confound 
 it ! I grumbled to myself in self-pity, 
 he has utterly spoiled my dinner. 
 With this and similar comments, I had 
 wandered through the market, and 
 was turning to leave it, when I came 
 plump upon him again. " Sir ! " said 
 I quickly, pulling out my cigar-case, 
 " will you allow me to offer you a 
 cigar ? " " Thanks ! " he said, with a 
 look of surprise, and took one. We 
 chatted about the price of gold and the rumours of revolu- 
 tion, and I soon found he was an educated Englishman ; 
 and then I made bold and asked him straight out if he 
 would dine with me. " Thanks — no," he said ; " I must go 
 
 Game to the last.
 
 108 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 now, for I have an appointment." And then, lifting his 
 hat, added, as he moved briskly off : " Besides, I have dined. 
 Good day ! " And he was gone. But oh, worse than all, 
 his -pared was gone too, for he had nothing in his hand, 
 I saw, as he moved away. He had dined! An English- 
 man and starving! worse— existing on that which must soon 
 bring awful suffering before death comes with the welcome 
 warrant of release. 
 
 While iii my cup of Life I meet 
 Bitter proportioned to the sweet, 
 As husks are to the grains of wheat, 
 I'll take the mixture with complete 
 Consent. 
 
 Grant me one smile for every tear — 
 That life be not too painful here — 
 That friendship dear, be not too dear — 
 I am— though I may not appear— 
 Content. 
 
 Yes, he had utterly spoiled my dinner — ay, and not only 
 my dinner, but, as a consequence, my night's rest also. 
 
 The heat, too, was intense that night, but I am afraid I 
 could have borne the one stoically, the. other patiently on 
 board ship, or indeed anywhere but at the Hotel l'llniverselle, 
 which is the centre of a universe of clocks. I don't say 
 they will wake you if your eyelids have got a good grip, but 
 if from any cause you should wake, woe betide you ! I 
 wouldn't give a cigar-end for your chance. There's no 
 getting away ; and what can you do ? " How many fingers 
 do I hold up ? " is a game that I admit has been known to 
 brighten the twenty-eight days' enforced seclusion which, 
 under the name of honeymoon, is the punishment for the 
 offence called matrimony. (Well, it's just half bigamy, so it 
 ought to carry a stiff sentence.) But there's all the differ- 
 ence between playing a game in daylight and trying it in
 
 BUENOS AIRES, ROSARIO DE SANTA FE, ETC. 199 
 
 the dark. How is a man to guess how many fingers he holds 
 up in the middle of the night ? It's ridiculous. 
 
 But to return to the clocks. Within earshot of this hotel 
 there are — well, I hesitate to fix the number, because I differed 
 with myself several times in the night on that point. I 
 offered to strike an average, but this was rejected on the 
 ground that there were strikes enough already. Well, we'll 
 call it fifteen — it's under the mark, but near enough. Now 
 (and this is where the fly gets into the pomatum) my theory is, 
 that these clocks are timed so as not to interrupt one another. 
 At any rate this is what happens. No. 1 strikes the hour ; 
 just sixty seconds afterwards No. 2 does the same, and so on. 
 It is evident that one minute after the fifteenth clock strikes 
 the hour, No. 1 will chime the quarter ! And thus runs the 
 world away. 
 
 Now, I acknowledge that by this handy little plan a man 
 can, after a fashion, tell the time to a minute the night 
 through, wake when he may. But then, look what a tissue 
 of falsehoods it is. Will any one tell me that fraud of this 
 kind — perpetrated no doubt in the interests of the Church, 
 and therefore pious fraud — is not a discredit to any country ? 
 How does it (forgive the vile word) strike you ? 
 
 If this thing is done by way of advertising the churches, 
 it succeeded with me, for the following day, I suppose having 
 got church-clock on the brain, I mechanically entered the 
 church at the corner of the Calle Eeconquista. The con- 
 gregation was composed entirely of women. Barring the 
 priests and the two half-choirs of boys with cracked voices, 
 I was the only representative of the inferior sex present. 
 
 The priest who preached was the smallest, quickest, jerkiest 
 man I ever saw. He shot up into the golden pulpit; like a 
 jack-in-the-box. Then up he jerked a golden cross, and down
 
 200 "BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 he bobbed and down bobbed the ladies. Then down went 
 the cross and up came the priest and everybody else. They 
 did this, it seemed to me, a dozen times, and were just about 
 doing it again, when I said to myself, " This kind of thing is 
 catching," and made a shot for the door. I was only just in 
 time, for when I went to put on my hat, my head went up 
 into it with a jerk enough to knock it off — showing that I 
 too had been ducking. 
 
 In fact, ten minutes after, on joining my friends at dinner, 
 they all remarked that my gait was that of a man with one 
 leg shorter than the other. It grieves me to say that they 
 received my plea, that I caught the trick in church, with 
 undisguised scepticism. Thus ever arc our best actions 
 misjudged by a cold censorious world. 
 
 A bad night's rest seems to awake all one's faculties to 
 their highest pitch of sensitiveness. To-day the smell of 
 some lemon-squash I had, nearly choked me. The odour 
 was a sort of mysterious something between tar and tobacco. 
 One can only call it a tropical smell. It meets you on this 
 voyage first at the Verde Islands — perhaps faintly even at 
 Lisbon — and stands by you throughout your wanderings in 
 tropical cities. 
 
 My sad experience with the clocks the night before sent 
 me to bed last night at 9.30 p.m. It was as well, for I had 
 just scored five and a half hours' sleep, when one of the cocks 
 they keep in the hotel, I suppose to wake the servants, not 
 being gifted with the necessary discrimination, woke me as 
 well. At first I thought it was a mistake, but no — he 
 repeated his demand so often that, finding him determined, 
 I got up. The servants, I am ashamed to say, did not. 
 This cock, I am sure, was English, like those we had on 
 board. There was a bumptiousness, an insolence about the
 
 BUENOS AIRES, ROSARIO BE SANTA FE, ETC. 201 
 
 challenge that showed his John Bull origin. But in England 
 he would not have waked me for another four hours. It's 
 conceit, that's what's the matter with him. He has heard 
 that there are English in the hotel, and so wants to display 
 his knowledge of the difference of time by allowing for the 
 ■58° west longitude. Now, patriotism is all very well, but I 
 think it is carried too far when it is used as a lever to get 
 me up at 3 a.m., because forsooth it is 7 a.m. in England. 
 Thank goodness ! that last crow of his seems to have killed 
 the beast. It was clearly his destiny to die this morning, 
 but from the perfect joyousness of that last expiring effort 
 he could not, I should say, have thought his end so near. 
 Perhaps he had his fortune told in England, and they warned 
 him that he would die at 7 a.m., so he felt safe at three 
 o'clock. Ha ! ha ! Hoist with his own petard — the Fates 
 ran up his blue-peter at 7 a.m. Grcenivich time. "Well, I 
 don't wonder at the Eates having their clocks synchronized 
 from Greenwich. I should do the same if I had to run a big 
 concern like theirs. When you've got to despatch your 
 clients at the rate of one every second, there is no time for 
 logarithms. Still, that four hours' short weight was rather 
 rough on the rooster, who, I dare say, had several appoint- 
 ments to keep before 7 a.m. Argentine time. It is a sad 
 thought that the stable-heap, the pinnacle from which he 
 flung his last loud challenge to a listening world — worse luck, 
 I was one of them — is now his silent mausoleum. Let us here 
 in America whistle his funeral march, " Yankee-Doodle-Doo ! " 
 Eive of us from the Clyde are staying at this hotel. We 
 sleep and take early coffee here, getting all other meals at 
 the Cafe Eilip opposite, where the cooking is excellent, and 
 the wild strawberries (/raises) a dish I shall ever remember. 
 We had them twice every day during my stay. Many of
 
 202 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 the delicacies used in private houses are prepared at the 
 convents by nuns, who are most skilful in their production. 
 One article of dessert is very peculiar to European notions ; it 
 resembles hard-boiled eggs, but the egg-shells are really only 
 the moulds, in which the white turns out to be Uanc-mange, 
 and the yolk quince-jelly. Only give the proprietor of the 
 Cafe Filip a little notice, and he will turn you out * as nice 
 a little dinner as Buenos Aires can give you. 
 
 All the cooking in this city, it should be said, is done with 
 paraffin stoves — no Argentine houses have ordinary fire 
 stoves of any kind in the living rooms. The climate is sup- 
 posed to be such as to render fires unnecessary. Pure fiction \ 
 Men have told me they have known the cold here to be as 
 trying as our bitterest English weather. 
 
 There is, however, no blinking the fact that the air here 
 owes much of its exquisite purity and transparency to the 
 absence of smoke. The effects produced by the getting rid of 
 this one nuisance are truly wonderful, and one is constantly 
 thinking what might not even London be made, if all the 
 houses were by law fitted with smoke-consuming stoves. 
 The marvellous beauty and unsullied grandeur of these 
 evening skies make even the dull narrow streets of Buenos 
 Aires delightfully soft and rich in colour. The city seems 
 bathed in perfectly bewitching limelight effects which try in 
 turn all the colours of the spectrum. The dingiest old crock 
 of a town would be glorified by such treatment, and Buenos 
 Aires is not, on the whole, dingy. Its squares — and there 
 are eleven of them — are superb, but its streets are too narrow 
 to do much with. All that is possible in the way of titiva- 
 ting, the sun does for them, dressing them in his choicest 
 robes — and fine feathers do make fine birds, after a fashion. 
 
 * Don't pause at the word " out," or you may misunderstand me.— C. C. A.
 
 BUENOS AIRES, ROSA RIO DE SANTA FE, ETC. 203 
 
 Just now, however, the heat, which is phenomenal for the 
 time of year, won't let you enjoy the city. There has been 
 no rain for three months, a fact one's nose attests — and even 
 London drains go all wrong when not well flushed. A city 
 like Buenos Aires wants heavy rain once a week to keep it 
 sweet. In the camps, up country, the cattle are suffering 
 and dying by thousands. One noticeable feature in times of 
 drought is the increase of insect noises. Wherever you light 
 on a plot of grass, there is a positive shrieking and whistling 
 as of myriads of crickets, and the frogs seem to have the full 
 organ on. A bull-frog, as they call it, the other night in a 
 hollow tree made a noise like a woodpecker. 
 
 The present heat must be exceptional, because the natives 
 speak more of it to me than I to them. This might be taken 
 for pure sympathy with me, a stranger here, were it not for 
 their boiled-lobster look, and the mopping and fanning that 
 goes on all day everywhere. Going with my kind friend 
 Mr. Horace "Wood to the London and Eiver Plate Bank 
 one afternoon, I found most of the 
 officials were in black alpaca or thin 
 yellow silk coats, and wore lawn hand- 
 kerchiefs loosely round the neck. 
 
 There was only one man who had 
 a high collar, and he had a good two 
 and a half inches of it. Moreover, he 
 was pressed in a tightly buttoned 
 frock-coat of our winter texture, and 
 had cuffs fully two inches and a half 
 below the sleeves. He didn't seem to 
 know it was warm. He was a broad- 
 
 " It's a bit milder to-day." 
 
 shouldered chap of about thirty years 
 
 of age, six feet high, plump, florid, and good-looking ; a
 
 204 
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 description which will not fail to find him for any one who 
 wants to know how to keep cool with the thermometer at 
 110° in the shade. 
 
 One of the pleasantest trips of Courtney, Manley, and 
 myself, was from the Central railway station to Tigre, about 
 thirty miles up the river. The place stands in much the 
 same relation to Buenos Aires that Kingston does to London, 
 and is covered with handsome villas and larger residences, 
 belonging to wealthy citizens, most of whom have businesses 
 in the city. The train takes you through a country cultivated 
 much after the manner of the Pampas camps further afield, 
 
 A Rancho on the Pampas. 
 
 and dotted at intervals with Eanchos of mud or wood : only 
 here and there do you find a brick house. 
 
 On the way, I counted the skeletons of eight horses. 
 There is no burial ; as the horse falls so he lies, and the flies 
 and vultures clean his carcase in ten days. 
 
 On the river at Tigre were a couple of large torpedo-boats, 
 a number of yachts, steam-launches evidently well cared 
 for and prettily fitted, and small boats without end. The 
 whole country round was a garden of flowers and shrubs of 
 every kind. Wild roses in luxuriance made bright the 
 hedges, and honeysuckle of an immense size wreathed itself 
 into bowers and climbed the trees in all directions.
 
 BUENOS AIRES, ROSA RIO BE SANTA FE, ETC. 205 
 
 The place possesses a magnificent hotel (almost up to the 
 form of our " Star and Garter "), where we had afternoon tea, 
 the only really good tea we had tasted since leaving England, 
 for ship's tea is never up to much. In the hotel were several 
 English people, and one tall, slim gentleman, with a fine grey 
 beard, was there in yachting costume, just as I have seen him 
 any time these twenty years at Henley-on-Thames. 
 
 In the cool of the evening we took the little tram that 
 runs from the hotel to the station. Never shall I forget that 
 ride. It gave me what was really, though I have mentioned 
 them before, my first introduction to one of the sights of the 
 country — the fire-flies. They swarmed out in myriads, light- 
 ing up the fields round about us for two or three hundred 
 yards. 
 
 The country was closely covered with noble Quintas, or 
 country-seats, the grounds being laid out in perfectly English 
 style. On the tram with us was an English nurse and party 
 of laughing English children, who got down at one of the best 
 of these charming estates. It was a treat to hear their merry 
 voices, and the lovely country seemed even more lovely for 
 their bright presence. Altogether it was to me one of the 
 most enchanting experiences I have ever known — here or 
 anywhere else. 
 
 It is almost impossible fur any one, in the midst of all these 
 flowers, to realize that it is mid- winter in England, the season 
 of snowballing' and skating. Anyhow, I was fairly fooled by 
 the Tigre river-scenery and the summer skies. It was 7 p.m., 
 and the sun still lit up the hotel and the long reach of river. 
 " Yes," I said to Courtney, " it is very lovely, but it is not 
 the Thames. Just picture yourself at this moment away on 
 an island, say above Great Marlow. It is sunset, and the 
 tender English twilight will, for another half-hour, allow our
 
 206 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 eyes to rest on yonder fringe of willows where our boat is 
 lying, and on that little bay where those fair girls in boating- 
 dress are making the light air breezy with their rippling 
 laughter, to the soft bass vocal accompaniment of their 
 bronzed be-flannelled companions. A little flash from the 
 midst of the merry group, and up curls the blue smoke from 
 the fragrant weed which, next to woman, is man's best 
 friend." 
 
 Thus far Courtney had borne with me, but here he shook his 
 head. So did Manley, but for different reasons. Courtney, 
 I think — I say I think — wanted to debate the question of pre- 
 cedence, preferring to place them in reverse order — viz. tobacco 
 and woman. Manley was on quite another tack. With a face 
 
 wreathed in smiles, he " ventured to 
 remind " me that my picture hardly 
 hit-off the Thames " at the end of 
 November, and 11 p.m. — allowing for 
 the difference of longitude." Confound 
 the longitude ! It is always getting 
 between my legs and tripping me 
 up as his sword does the new Lord 
 
 Caution ! 
 '• Miud the longitude ! " M lyor. 
 
 There are two places of interest in the near neighbourhood 
 of Buenos Aires, both of which should be visited— Eosario 
 de Santa Fe and La Plata. 
 
 Next to the capital, the most important place in Argentina 
 is Eosario, a town of fifty thousand inhabitants, and the port 
 of the province of Santa Fe, situated at the western elbow of 
 a bend in the Parana, and a hundred and ninety-five miles 
 north of the capital. Some day, when the network of railways 
 in contemplation shall have been completed, they say Eosario 
 will entirely eclipse Buenos Aires, and monop6lize all the
 
 BUENOS AIRES, ROSARIO BE SANTA FE, ETC. 209 
 
 trade of the interior. At present, with all the elements of 
 civilized life, Government, Foreign Consuls, Hotels, Clubs, 
 and Churches, the place is utterly devoid of beauty of any 
 kind. The caravans of bullock waggons from north, west, 
 and south, whose picturesqueness formerly gave to the place a 
 certain primitive prettiness, have disappeared before the loco- 
 motive, and so deprived it of the one charm it possessed. A 
 prey to dust and wind, there is an east-end look about it that 
 renders it an unpleasant place of residence ; and though a 
 general interest and one's through-ticket tempts one to go, 
 there is nothing to induce one to stop. One, or at most two 
 days of it, in the glare and choking dust, among fleas, mangy 
 dogs, and locusts, is as much as one can stand. 
 
 There are two large Protestant churches, and one Catholic 
 church. The shops and private houses, too, are fine buildings 
 and of most enduring structure, a quality which they are said 
 to owe to the mortar, which, made from pure river sand, is 
 the finest in the world, and the lime, which, prepared from 
 Cordova marble, is as hard as Eoman cement. The Hotel 
 Central, built in Moorish style, is finer than any hotel in 
 Buenos Aires, and the charges are reasonable. You can live 
 there for 10s. a day, inclusive of good native wine. 
 
 Kosario, in the past, has been the home of political plots, 
 and a dozen revolutions have been hatched there within two 
 or. three years. But in recent times, increase of commerce 
 has brought plenty, and, as usual, peace has followed in its 
 train. 
 
 La Plata, the new provincial capital of Argentina, and a 
 city of some sixty thousand inhabitants, lies thirty miles to 
 the south of Buenos Aires, at the harbour of Ensenada, and 
 is connected by twenty-six miles of railway with Ferrari on 
 the Great Southern Railway . The story of its birth and
 
 "210 
 
 HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 growth — it was born only seven years ago — reads like a 
 fable. 
 
 Owing to the development of outside cities, their popula- 
 tions had so increased that at length a point was reached, 
 when they exceeded the population of Buenos Aires itself. 
 At this crisis it was found that an " outside " man, named 
 Eoca, was aspiring to the Presidency of the Republic. Where- 
 upon the Portenas, as the people of Buenos Aires are called, 
 began to feel jealous of the ambition of their country-cousins. 
 So, to appease them, Eoca boldly proposed that a new city 
 should be built at government expense. The bait was taken. 
 And as there was no time to lay out a state, application was 
 made to the United States, and five hundred ready-made 
 
 houses were shipped like toys, and 
 put up with the rapidity of a 
 
 THIS ELIGIBLE 
 
 LAND 
 TO BE LET 
 
 '""purcos"' country fair. A spot was chosen 
 in the Pampas; all the revolu- 
 tionary leaders were allowed to 
 share in the speculation ; war was 
 averted ; and so a brand-new city 
 sprang up like mushrooms in a 
 night, at a cost of nearly half-a- 
 million sterling to the Government. 
 
 "Please send me one detached Jt [ s already lighted throughout 
 villa for corner of projected 
 
 main Avenue."— John Jones, by electricity, and a most flourish- 
 Pampas, La Plata. . „ , 
 
 ing place — indeed, one ot tne 
 
 sights of Argentina. It is much frequented by Portenas, 
 
 who are as proud of this last member of their family as we 
 
 are of our first member, Adam ; and, strange to say, each was 
 
 horn an adult. 
 
 Argentina is a wonderful country, and destined for great 
 
 things, and in visiting it, an Englishman cannot help feeling
 
 BUENOS AIRES, ROSARIO BE SANTA FE, ETC. 213 
 
 disgusted with the disgraceful capitulation in 1807, which 
 robbed us of an Australia distant less than seven thousand 
 miles, or three weeks' journey from our shores. Its markets 
 exchange produce with nearly every country in the world, 
 the United States alone neglecting to profit by its great 
 resources of production and powers of consumption. It is 
 almost incredible that a pushing people like the Yankees 
 should leave such a field undeveloped, and not have even 
 direct communication with it. But, of course, it is all the 
 better for us. 
 
 Something of its importance may be gathered from the 
 following crude statistics. A mail arrives from, and another 
 leaves for, Europe nearly every day ; twenty-three lines 
 of steamships connect it with the European markets, and 
 from forty to sixty vessels sail to and from it every month. 
 In Buenos Aires harbour — or what does duty for one — are 
 dozens of steamships and scores of sailing-vessels flying 
 every flag but that of the United States. 
 
 The Bepublic imports manufactured merchandise to the 
 value of twenty million sterling every year, one-third coming 
 from England, a fifth from France, and a fifth from Germany. 
 The Pampas, which correspond to the northern prairies, feed 
 a hundred million sheep (more than any other country in the 
 world), yielding for exportation alone two hundred million 
 pounds of wool. The Argentines not only grow wheat 
 enough for themselves, but export nine million bushels 
 annually; while their post-office in 1889 handled no less 
 than twenty-five million packages. 
 
 Everybody who is anybody keeps a carriage, and anybody 
 who does not want to be nobody rides horseback. You can 
 buy a pair of the best horses for £30, and saddle-horses 
 equal to any in the world for from £5 to £8.
 
 214 
 
 BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 Being a diffident man, I have deferred making any allusion 
 to the appearance of the ladies of Buenos Aires. On most 
 subjects I find no difficulty in offering some sort of an 
 opinion, but on this particular question I feel great delicacy, 
 for, while silence might be construed into want of apprecia- 
 tion of their many charms, words are apt to betray one on 
 such a theme. One either says too much or not enough. 
 Shutting my eyes, then, and making a plunge in mcdias res, 
 I should say, that they have at any rate one of the 
 characteristics of the Viennese, viz. most exquisite com- 
 plexions. In a cosmopolitan population, such as that 
 composing Argentina, one of course meets with all types 
 and shades ; and, as may be supposed, the mixed, marriages 
 which occur among those of the many different nationalities 
 still further multiply the varieties of form and feature. 
 Argentina is one of the human conservatories of the world, 
 where may be seen every variety of species in every variety 
 
 of condition of intermixture. Per- 
 haps the most striking charms of 
 the Portenas are the ardent beauty 
 of their eyes and the profusion and 
 fineness of their hair, unsullied by 
 oil or cosmetics of any kind. The 
 inactive life they lead is, however, 
 unhappily destructive of litheness 
 of figure, and so we find the contour 
 apt to become a little too pro- 
 nounced after twenty-five to please the English eye, and 
 after thirty to please any eye at all, unless indeed it be 
 
 Thirty-one last birthday. 
 
 that of the " Kin^ of the Cannibal Islands."
 
 ( 215 ) 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 BUENOS AIKES TO RIO DE JANEIRO. 
 
 November 26th. — 1 p.m. We have had a Pampero, which 
 has left the air much cooler, but the sea very rough. As 
 the tender starts with us for the ship, we meet cargo return- 
 ing from her which it was impossible to embark on account 
 of the heavy sea. It is very boisterous, certainly. 
 
 2 p.m. — Once more on board the good ship Clyde, Mr. 
 Horace Wood and Mr. Courtney kindly coming to see the 
 last of me. We all dined together, and then the bell sounded 
 for strangers to leave the ship. As they and other friends, 
 many of them ladies, went on board the tender, a most 
 disgraceful scene took place. 
 
 It appears that a large number of men, whose foul and 
 filthy language proclaimed them quite unfit to be allowed 
 on board any ship, were resenting the foresight of the 
 Captain and Chief Officer, who had refused to admit them. 
 It was, indeed, Billingsgate let loose, beyond anything I had 
 ever heard or seen. They had come to see their friends off, 
 and the only thing that could be said for them was, that 
 they had paid #6 fare by tender in the hope, no doubt, of 
 being allowed to go aboard as our friends did. Nothing, 
 however, could justify their vile behaviour ; and it was with 
 many fears for our friends' safety that we saw them going 
 ashore in such company. As the tender drew off from us
 
 '216 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 a free fight began, and I saw knives brandished by two or 
 three people. The others, however, appeared to overpower 
 these ruffians, and I hope all went well. But it was a 
 disgusting sight. 
 
 8 p.m. — The anchor's weighed. The Chief Officer tells 
 me that last trip they took fifty navvies on board, and on 
 that occasion permitted their friends to accompany them. 
 These guests got so hopelessly drunk, that it was with the 
 greatest difficulty they were got back to the tender ; indeed, 
 some had to be lowered by ropes. So it was decided this 
 time not to receive them at all. Perhaps it would have been 
 better had this been made known to them while on shore. 
 It must be annoying to pay #6 — the same as saloon passengers 
 — and then to be refused permission to board the ship with 
 their friends, while saloon passengers were passing on their 
 friends freely. Nor did it improve matters to let this 
 tender full of disappointed people lie alongside during our 
 dinner ; for, of course, on the return of the favoured guests, 
 the others found vent for their feelings and proclaimed their 
 wrongs after their peculiar manner. 
 
 9 p <m# — Mr. Lloyd, a Welshman long settled in Buenos 
 Aires, and now crossing to Monte Video on business, gave 
 us, in Mr. Bitchie's cabin, a few samples of Argentine cutcness. 
 One of the largest silk-importers in Buenos Aires was lately 
 caught passing huge consignments of silk (which pays heavy 
 duty) as soda-water (which pays none). He was fined, but 
 had been so many years at the fraud that he could afford 
 to laugh at the trifling punishment. Another gentleman 
 who had the building of certain government offices, and so 
 was allowed cement for them duty-free, used to import it 
 largely in excess of his requirements therefor, and sell the 
 staff. Selling it under the trade price, however, as of course
 
 BUENOS AIRES TO RIO BE JANEIRO. 21' 
 
 he could afford to do, brought the rest of the trade upon 
 him, and so led to his discovery. 
 
 Our Welsh friend spoke tenderly of Llangollen, where his 
 heart was evidently fixed. He had left the old home five- 
 and-twenty long years, but still spoke of 
 a dear girl who had stayed there all that 
 time waiting for him. Poor young thing ! 
 One of the " maids of Llangollen," I ven- 
 tured to say. His answer recalled Charles 
 Lamb at the Scotch dinner, where Burns' 
 son was expected. "I wish it had been « He ^5Lot, 
 his father," said Lamb. Whereupon, in she said -" 
 
 chorus, they solemnly told him that that would be impossible, 
 for the father had been " dead many years." Mr. Lloyd, in 
 almost the same words, replied to my remark, " My dear sir, 
 the maids of Llangollen are all dead long ago." (By which he 
 meant the historical maids, no doubt.) " Wha — a — a — t ? " 
 shouted one sturdy member of the party. " Bust my canvas ! 
 You don't mean to say you've waited five-and-twenty years 
 to wed a widder ! " 
 
 November 27th. — 4.40 a.m. We have anchored in the 
 roads off Monte Video. The Wordsworth, " Lamport and 
 Holt " line, is here ; she is due with the mails to-day at 
 Buenos Aires. The Clcojiatra, of our navy, is also here, 
 returned from the visit which, as we came out, w T e met her 
 on her way to pay the Brazilians at Eio, in recognition of 
 the new Eepublic. Her commander, Captain Musgrave, I 
 hear, won the chief prize of $50,000 i n the lottery here last 
 year — dollars of the Banda Oriental, worth nearly 4s., not 
 Argentine trash. Any way, they said, the prize was worth 
 £8000 sterling. 
 
 After breakfast I went ashore for a five hours' ramble.
 
 218 
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 The city is built in blocks just as Buenos Aires, but it is 
 altogether lighter and brighter. Much of this is no doubt 
 due to the slope it stands on, which shows you more of the 
 houses and streets from the sea. Of Buenos Aires you see 
 absolutely nothing from the water, the place is so flat. But 
 
 in Monte Video the streets 
 
 are very broad ; most of 
 
 the main thoroughfares 
 
 are from forty to sixty 
 
 feet wide, and the houses 
 
 of pale blue, pale brown, 
 
 or dazzling white, give 
 
 the city an air of newness 
 
 that is very pleasant. 
 
 The Prado, Monte Video. One sees none of the 
 
 gloomy windows of Argentina ; here the Venetian blinds are 
 
 all light in colour, and the bright effect in the street of even 
 
 such a trifle as this is very noticeable. 
 
 I said just now the city looked new. It is not new, how- 
 ever, for it was founded as long ago as the 1st of May, 1717, 
 by the Governor of Buenos Aires, Don Mauricio Zavala, who 
 succeeded in expelling the Portuguese settlers. Till 1726 it 
 was only a military port, but in that year it was peopled by 
 families brought from the Canary Islands, who were pro- 
 vided gratuitously with sheep and cattle. From 1778, when 
 it was declared a free port, its commerce rose so rapidly that 
 in fourteen years it became the greatest port in South 
 America, with a trade of more than seven million dollars. 
 The old town consists of one hundred and twenty-four and 
 the new of two hundred and ninety-three manzanas, or 
 blocks, each covering about two acres. Its water supply is 
 pumped from Santa Lucia (a distance of thirty-three miles),
 
 BUENOS AIRES TO RIO DE JANEIRO. 221 
 
 the second largest pumping main in the world. The water- 
 pipes extend one hundred and fifty miles. 
 
 Of the old fort, San Jose, which used to stand at Eompe 
 Olsa near the Custom-House, little now remains. From this 
 point formerly ran in opposite directions the Bovedas or 
 casemated arches, till, having encircled the old town, they 
 met again at the old market, where Boulevard 18 de Julio 
 now commences. Some traces of these fortifications are still 
 visible near Mr. Jackson's barraca. They were constructed 
 by two thousand Indians, who are said to have been engaged 
 seven years on the work. So strongly did these Indians 
 build, that in 1807 the place sustained nine days' cannonading 
 before a breach was made. 
 
 The Bolsa, or Exchange, considered one of the finest 
 buildings in South America, is a copy of that in Bordeaux. 
 Its hall is decorated with the flags of all nations, in fresco. 
 The Cabildo (or Town Hall), in Plaza Constitucion, serves 
 for law-courts, senate-house, and prison. The Matrix, now 
 the Cathedral, on the opposite side of the same square, con- 
 tains, in its left aisle, the tomb of General Flores, murdered 
 in 1868. 
 
 One of the handsomest buildings in the new town is the 
 Church of the Immaculate Conception, built in 1858 by 
 the milkmen, market-gardeners, etc., and commonly called 
 the Church of the Bascos. The Boulevard 18 de Julio, said 
 to be incomparably the finest street in South America, 
 terminates at the English cemetery. It is undoubtedly a 
 magnificent thoroughfare, and greatly in favour with the 
 residents, but I am told the most fashionable quarter is in 
 the suburb Paso Molino. 
 
 According to a local guide-book, the most remarkable 
 monuments are those to the victims of Quinteros, and to the
 
 222 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 heroes of Paysandu. I am ashamed to say the only heroes 
 of Paysandu I can recall, are the proprietors of the huge 
 establishment whence come those luscious tongues, in which 
 the fat and lean are so sweetly blended as 
 to form, if one may so say, a " confusion of 
 tongues." By the way, those heroes (hero and 
 heroine) are at this moment passengers with 
 
 " Heroes of ' x 
 
 Paysandu." us' on board the Clyde, returning to Scotland. 
 They go to and fro every year, I hear, with their bright 
 little girl, to look after their enormous business. 
 
 A pretty ride is to be had by tram from Plaza Inde- 
 pendencia (every half-hour) to Union Village, five miles out 
 north of the city, whence is obtained a view overlooking the 
 coast in the direction of Pando. After passing windmills 
 innumerable, and many strikingly pretty rustic damsels, you 
 come to the Bull-ring at the end of the village. Long ago 
 abolished in the Argentine, the sports of the Circo dos Touros 
 have flourished here. But its days are numbered, for a law 
 was passed last year abolishing them throughout the Republic 
 Oriental. A mile further north is the English racecourse, 
 where meetings are held twice a year. 
 
 Another good excursion is by tram from Calle 25 de Mayo 
 to the Aguada. Alighting here and ascending the Hill of 
 Bella Vista, a fine view is obtained of the city and bay. 
 This quarter is also a favourite one, as evidenced by the 
 beautiful country houses, plantations, and gardens that line 
 the road. 
 
 The Banda Oriental, or Eastern Strip, was once a part of 
 Argentina, which was then known as the Banda Occidental. 
 Uruguay is the old Indian name and the legal one, but the 
 people are known as "Orientals." The Republic has a 
 population of five hundred thousand, and an area of seven
 
 BUENOS AIRES TO BIO BE JANEIRO. 
 
 223 
 
 thousand square leagues, or about the same as England. The 
 soil, however, is said to be so productive, that it would 
 support fifty times its present population. Any grain or 
 fruit will 'grow — coffee, corn, bananas, pine-apples, wheat, 
 sugar, potatoes, apples, and oranges. Food prices are remark- 
 ably low : beef and mutton 2hd. a pound, partridges 5d. each, 
 chickens and ducks *l\d. The Pampas support eleven 
 million sheep and seven million cattle. At the same time 
 they manage to produce five million bushels of grain, and to 
 feed seven hundred thousand horses. But while food is 
 cheap, rents are high ; it is hardly too much to say that they 
 are four times as high as in England. 
 
 A Mr. Evans, one of the principal residents in Monte Video, 
 
 and a millionaire, began life in the Oriental by nearly losing 
 it in a wreck, from which 
 
 all he saved besides himself 
 
 was a ship's boat. In this 
 
 boat he earned his bread as 
 
 a longshoreman, carrying 
 
 passengers to and fro be- 
 tween the harbour and the 
 
 ships. He has now the 
 
 finest private park (Prado) 
 
 in the Paver Plate country, 
 
 and in the basin of an im- 
 mense bronze fountain in 
 
 the centre of the park, still 
 
 floats, as his most honoured guest and pensioner, the boat 
 
 that saved his life and shared his fortunes. 
 
 The tram lines here are single, as in Buenos Aires, but, 
 
 unlike them, they go and return by the same route, causing 
 
 continual stops. The time wasted in this way alone, the 
 
 He and she.
 
 224 "HOW T FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 city through, must cost the citizens thousands of pounds in 
 the year. 
 
 The waggons are of the very roughest make, springless, and, 
 like brewers' drays, buttressed in three places at the side ; 
 they are usually drawn by oxen three abreast. Here, as in 
 Buenos Aires, horses draw the trams, which take you five 
 miles for four centavos (2d.). Mules are reserved for work- 
 ing the rough carts in vogue here, which are built like large 
 crates on wheels. 
 
 The butchers' shops I noticed had over them some rather 
 well-drawn sketches of a goat, a pig, and a bullock in 
 triangular form, signifying the three kinds of flesh sold 
 there. 
 
 Here, as in Buenos Aires, milk is sold by men on horse- 
 back, unless (which is common) the cows are brought and 
 milked at your door. But butter is made by placing the 
 milk in leather bags, which, fastened to the end of a lassoo 
 hitched on to the pommel of a saddle, are rattled over the 
 stony roads as the horseman gallops into the city. Thus the 
 rider tows his milk to market, and churns the butter as he 
 goes. 
 
 My first purchase gave me quite a surprise. I had just 
 come from the Bolsa, where gold was 140^ per cent., i.e. 40^ 
 premium only, which should have reminded me of the 
 enormous difference between the value of the dollar here and 
 in Buenos Aires. But it didn't ! I took a fancy to a little 
 paper figure of a Spanish dancing-girl, and hearing it was but 
 80 cents, bought it, and not until after I had left the shop 
 some moments did I realize that this paper trifle, for which 
 I thought I was paying dearly at 9cl. or 10d., had actually 
 cost 3s. ! Both here and in Buenos Aires, anything artistic 
 is sure to have been imported and paid duty, and is therefore
 
 BUENOS AIRES TO RIO DE JANEIRO. 
 
 225 
 
 expensive. To find anything representative of the industry 
 of the place was most difficult ; they import from all parts, 
 but make next to nothing themselves. European goods 
 fetch enormous prices, being in high favour ; but except the 
 few things used in horse-capture and breaking-in on the 
 Pampas, I know of few articles suitable to bring away as 
 souvenirs. 
 
 Mr. Turner, a resident here, who travelled with us and 
 was my kind friend going out, came off to-day to bring us 
 
 Monte Video. 
 
 his good wishes on our homeward voyage. We shall miss 
 him and his bright little girls going back. 
 
 My observations with regard to the women of Argentine 
 apply to the Uruguayans also. Their beauty lies in com- 
 plexion, and not in form. The texture of skin here is even 
 finer than in Buenos Aires, a fact attributable, I feel con- 
 vinced, to the greater purity of the water. Ladies every- 
 where little know how much of their beauty they owe to this 
 element. Have you ever noticed, my dear lady, how soft your 
 skin has become when staying at certain places ; and has it 
 ever occurred to you that the water was your real benefactor ? 
 
 Q
 
 226 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 Some day, perhaps, I will tell you how to obtain just that 
 very water at all times, in your own house, so simply, 
 cheaply, and effectually, that you will open your eyes with 
 wonder that such a necessary has been so long disregarded. 
 
 4.10 p.m. — The anchor is up. Farewell, Monte Video ! 
 I can hardly believe it is but twelve days since I saw you 
 first and last. The excitement of Buenos Aires life made 
 one's nerves so keenly sensitive that one felt, as it were, on 
 tiptoe all the time. In such an alert condition, every throb 
 of life is felt and notes itself deeply in the memory, and 
 the sum of all these impressions produces an exaggerated 
 estimate of the time they occupy. We judge time by 
 events, and if any particular hour has as much thrust into 
 it as we usually experience in two hours, the impression is 
 that two hours have passed. 
 
 Here we are, once more rushing back to Flores, but 
 happily not to stop. The city and shipping along the white 
 shore for many miles look very pretty in the bright sun. 
 Going to and coming from the shore to-day the sea was 
 tipsily rough, our boat rolling and pitching and shipping 
 sea after sea. Yet here, only a few hours later, we are 
 gliding along on an unruffled surface. 
 
 I have just extended a new deck-chair, or bedstead, I 
 bought in Buenos Aires, a most luxurious thing. It would 
 have been nice to have had it on the way out, but in our 
 then crowded state it would have been smashed to a certainty. 
 Everybody helped himself to chairs, books, field-glasses, 
 anything, without asking — ay, and broke and lost them too 
 for you. Now we are quite a small party ; so far, indeed, 
 I have had the whole of my cabin to myself again. My 
 seat is, of course, as before, at Mr. Eitchie's side, and I am 
 perfectly happy.
 
 BUENOS AIRES TO BIO DE JANEIBO. 227 
 
 My health has greatly improved, and my appearance has 
 undergone such a change, they tell me, that I am con- 
 stantly cautioned not to expect to be recognized at home. 
 Several have offered me certificates of identity, at varying 
 charges, but I have not come to terms with any one yet. 
 
 "We left Buenos Aires with about sixty saloon, thirty 
 second-class, and one hundred and ninety steerage passengers, 
 in all two hundred and eighty, as against eight hundred and 
 thirty going out. At Monte Video we added slightly to the 
 saloonists, of whom we have now seventy, I think. 
 
 7 p.m. — At dinner there were three nice fellows at our 
 table, and the ice was soon broken under the influence of 
 champagne, which usually circulates pretty freely during 
 the first days of a voyage. I am to be lucky again, it 
 seems. 
 
 Some reason can always be found sufficient to justify 
 what the Australian diggers used to term "a shout." It's 
 a man's birthday, or his mother's, or a friend's, or a friend's 
 aunt's : or we are leaving 
 Europe, or sighting 
 America, or quitting Ar- 
 gentina, or bound for 
 England. The mention 
 of England was a good 
 card at any time. But, 
 for the first day or two '* Brickd and iheh mOTta1 '-" 
 
 no excuse is needed; all drink sparkling wine as being the 
 best kind of mortar for making a composite body out of 
 human bricks. 
 
 And I must admit it answered admirably, for we soon 
 began to feel interested in one another — to my mind, a 
 condition necessary to the enjoyment of travel of every kind, 
 
 \
 
 228 ''HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 more especially on ship-board. The ship is a forcing-house 
 for character, bringing out whatever is in a man of good or 
 evil, so that in three weeks you shall see him through and 
 through, inside out, and upside down (for the motion of 
 the vessel produces both these results), and know him more 
 thoroughly than in three years on shore. 
 
 And so it must often happen, I think, that after the three 
 weeks' voyage out, there will be some people in whose com- 
 pany you would rather not journey home again. The 
 pleasure with which I found myself at my old friend Mr. 
 Ritchie's table once more is to me, therefore, the sincerest 
 testimony to his uniform affability and good nature. 
 
 But this reminds me that the reader, who may be pre- 
 sumed to have, as it were, voyaged out in my company, may 
 not care to return with mc. I cannot but feel that, touching 
 as we shall touch at the same ports on the home run, my 
 subject must lack that freshness, without which interest is 
 with difficulty sustained. Moreover, in describing the ports 
 as I went out, I have deprived myself of that element of 
 interest on the way home. 
 
 Then, too, I have counted on the leisure of my return trip 
 for expanding my notes, and I feel, therefore, that my second 
 part must and will share the fate of all second parts, even 
 of such treasures as " Robinson Crusoe," or Bunyan's 
 " Pilgrim's Progress," and suffer from comparison with its 
 elder brother. They said Sheridan was deterred from writing 
 a second play by fear of the author of the " School for 
 Scandal." And in my humble way I feel that though my 
 voyage out is not likely to prove very entertaining reading, 
 my return bids fair to be even less so. 
 
 I merely mention this so that when the reader shall have 
 come to the same conclusion, I shall at all events have the
 
 BUENOS AIRES TO BIO DE JANEIRO. 
 
 229 
 
 little satisfaction that every one feels more or less, of saying 
 " I told you so." 
 
 I heard of a nail-maker once who, having made a had 
 nail, promptly cursed the man who should use it. When 
 asked why, he replied, " To he even with him ; for whoever 
 uses that nail," said he, " is sure to curse the man who made 
 it." "With this argument before me, I will only say, the 
 reader of this " home-coming" has my strongest sympathies. 
 
 At one time I had hoped to have been able to make a 
 little variation in my homeward route, for, on the notice- 
 board at my Club in Buenos 
 Aires, the Clyde -was announced 
 to touch at Santos. Had it 
 done so, I should certainly 
 have gone ashore there, run 
 up to San Paulo, and then on 
 by rail to rejoin the ship at 
 Pdo. But unfortunately, my 
 inquiry at the Company's 
 office had only the effect of 
 making them send and correct 
 the notice-board. The Clyde 
 never touches at Santos. 
 
 Of course you could get 
 there from Buenos Aires, or 
 Monte Video, in a coasting 
 vessel, starting three or four 
 days ahead of the Clyde, and 
 
 rejoin her at Pdo ; and, from all I can hear, this would be 
 worth doing, for San Paulo is a sight that ought not to be 
 missed by any one coming within near range of it. 
 
 9.30 p.m. As I lie in my berth, the Southern Cross, 
 
 The Falls of Itamaiati, Serra de 
 Estrella, near San Paulo.
 
 230 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 still inverted, fills the field of sky seen through my port- 
 light, exactly as my friend described it, every star falling 
 within that area. It seems clearer and brighter, and shows 
 to better effect in my dark cabin and cut off from the 
 surrounding stars, than I have yet seen it. Its isolation is 
 the secret of its success to-night, I think. " Fair as a star, 
 when only one is shining in the sky," as Wordsworth sings. 
 
 10.30 p.m. — The sea is rising. There is a long and heavy 
 swell on "full abeam," i.e. on our broadside, and the Clyde 
 is light, and tumbling about very much. 
 
 November 28. — 7 a.m. This has been one of our roughest 
 nights. Short of coming out of my bunk, as on our first 
 night out from Lisbon, I have performed every conceivable 
 acrobatic feat. My bed-clothes came off several times 
 through the vessel rolling me about, and the getting out 
 and in were as difficult as getting into a boat alongside in 
 a gale of wind. You had to wait and time your jump in 
 or out, and even then you would usually land with either 
 your head or your shin against something harder than itself, 
 which, as the reader doubtless is thinking, is more remark- 
 able in the case of the shin than in that of the head. Fore- 
 seeing which process of ratiocination, it will be observed that 
 I have been careful to say " your head," and " your shin." 
 
 Noon.— Lat. 32° 34' S., long. 51° 11' W. Pam, 30G miles. 
 1 p.m. — My cabin steward, a man named Vine, who had 
 been most attentive going out and was still looking after me, 
 has come with the news that the lunch bell has gone. My 
 watch is only 12.35, so we have already picked up nearly 
 half-an-hour. He is right; they had just finished as I 
 joined them in the saloon. Note — " In Vino Veritas.'" 
 
 My vis-a-vis at breakfast, Mr. Mervin, a bright merry 
 young Irishman returning from Buenos Aires, tells me we
 
 BUENOS AIRES TO BIO BE JANEIRO. 
 
 231 
 
 were on the very brink of revolution last Monday when they 
 sponged the Bolsa slate. He saw ammunition served out to 
 the troops under arms in the Plaza 
 Victoria — an amusing spectacle 
 for the police, I should say, seeing 
 that however little damage the 
 combatants do one another, the 
 Vigilantes (as they are called) are 
 sure of the warm attentions of 
 both. Well, it only shows — all 
 theories of bad pay to the contrary 
 notwithstanding — what a very 
 good berth a policeman in Argen- 
 tina must have. For surely the 
 pickings and perquisites must lie 
 large, that would tempt a man to 
 stand as a target for both sides, in 
 a competition where a " magpie," or an " outer," scores as 
 much (or means as much to him) as a " bull's-eye." 
 
 3 p. m> — It is very rough, and an elderly English lady has 
 been in a great state of agitation all the morning, asking all 
 sorts of questions about the life-saving appliances, and why 
 separate boats were not reserved for ladies. In all her 
 trouble, she has shown consideration for those engaged in 
 working the ship, by putting her questions to the passengers 
 only. "You know," she said to me, "I am never nervous, 
 because I always make it a point to learn exactly vjhat to do. 
 In a train I ride first-class, not because of the company, but 
 because the carriages are well padded, and I choose one near 
 the guard's van, because most collisions occur in front. A 
 full carriage is preferable to an empty one, for two reasons : 
 — there is not so much space to be flung about in, and you 
 
 A " marked man." Suggested 
 uniform for the Argentine 
 police.
 
 232 " HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 may be warned of an approaching accident by others before 
 you would discover it yourself. And forewarned is forearmed." 
 
 This lady was returning with her husband from Valparaiso 
 to England, and to avoid the long and boisterous voyage 
 round the Horn, they had come across the Cordilleras on 
 mule-back and thence by rail from Mendoza. Several young 
 German officers had come by the same route, and were going 
 through by the Clyde, to Antwerp, and so on to Berlin. 
 
 "What a palace such a ship is as compared with the very 
 finest vessels of the General Steam Navigation Company ! 
 Last year I and another were three days battling with not 
 more than half-a-gale from Hamburg to London, and so bad 
 was it that we got off at Harwich and came to town by rail. 
 The real discomfort to me, I remember, was not so much the 
 violent motion of the vessel as the all-pervading smell of 
 one hundred and eighty ponies we were carrying. It hung 
 about me for days after. On the Clyde there is nothing of 
 that sort, and as to the half-gale, she would make very short 
 work of that. She runs from Southampton to Antwerp in 
 sixteen hours, if I am not mistaken ; and only look at the 
 difference of comfort on board ! 
 
 8 p.m. — The Captain is unlucky in getting the greatest 
 nuisances at his table. The end seat on his right has 
 acquired the name of " Drunkards' Corner." For some time 
 a Brazilian, on our voyage out, sat there in an almost chronic 
 state of intoxication, behaving himself, after the manner of 
 his kind when in that condition, like a wild animal. In the 
 end he had to be shifted to the second-class quarters (a step 
 which the occupants resented fully as much as he did), where 
 he was in charge of an attendant night and day. This 
 inebriate's explanation of his conduct was, that not drink but 
 grief was the matter with him, brought on by heavy losses —
 
 BUENOS AIRES TO BIO BE JANEIRO. 233 
 
 the said losses beino; somewhat of a negative character, it seems. 
 His complaint was that he had inherited only two-thirds of 
 a large property of which he had expected the whole. 
 
 In this very seat now daily sits another passenger who 
 conducts himself like a baboon. After drinking and sleeping 
 alternately the day through, he comes to the table dazed 
 and unkempt as if he had been used as a duster to wipe out 
 a hay-cart. As soon as he can sit down (no easy task), he at 
 once opens the ball with a large bottle of champagne, and 
 talks louder and louder as he swills it down, sops his bread 
 in his soup, picks his fish with his fingers, dangles slices of 
 meat over his mouth and eats away up to his hand, and 
 finishes up by devouring a dish of salad from between his 
 elbows, consuming it (as a horse would hay) bit by bit as it 
 hangs in a bunch from his mouth, and all the while with 
 eyes fast shut. Such a sight is utterly disgusting to decent 
 people, but I do not know how it is to be prevented without 
 adopting very extreme measures. 
 
 To-night we shall pass Santos, to the coffee plantations of 
 which, it may be remembered, the emigrants were bound on 
 our way out. It lies about three hundred miles on this (the 
 south) side of Rio, and ranks in point of its exports as the 
 second port of the Brazils. It is a dirty, damp, unwholesome 
 place, and would call for no mention here did it not afford 
 a key to one of the most beautiful spots in the whole 
 Republic. 
 
 San Paulo — which has been called the Paris of the Brazils 
 — offers to those who have time and opportunity, a charming 
 diversion which can be taken on this route either ooincr or 
 returning. Prom Santos there is a tram which takes you 
 some four miles along the Bay, to a delightful spot from 
 which to view it ; but the sight of course is San Paulo.
 
 234 "BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 An English railway, forty miles long and built about 
 twenty years ago, takes you from Santos over the coast range 
 of mountains, the Serra do Mar. For a distance of five miles 
 a cable-road runs over the mountains in four inclined planes, 
 the ascending being balanced by the descending train. The 
 extreme height of the ridge is two thousand five hundred feet, 
 and the greatest railway gradient is one in ten, the train 
 being worked by a powerful engine at the top of each incline. 
 The views from the top are superb, I understand, extending 
 over valleys full of magnificent trees of brilliant foliage, and 
 away over the mountains where peak rises above peak from 
 the sea to San Paulo. 
 
 Here grows in profusion the shrub known as the Mandioc, 
 whose large roots when scraped to a pulp, pressed, baked, 
 washed, and dried, become the tapioca of commerce. 
 
 San Paulo, a city of fifty thousand inhabitants, lies upon a 
 great plain bounded by low hills which everywhere form its 
 horizon. It is a great coffee-growing country, yielding two 
 and sometimes three harvests a year. It has the healthiest 
 climate in the Brazils, and is remarkable for the beauty of 
 its scenery, and the opulence of its residents, whose houses — 
 though but one story high — are both comfortably built and 
 luxuriously fitted. 
 
 The railway journey to Eio, a distance of three hundred 
 and ten miles, occupies by express train about thirteen hours. 
 There are no less than fifteen tunnels, and the climbing of 
 the Serra is effected by two engines, one at either end of the 
 train. The scenery is said to be indescribably grand, in- 
 cluding as one of its chief beauties a view of Itatiaia, the 
 highest mountain in the Brazils, rising nine thousand feet 
 above the level of the sea. 
 
 29th November. — 8 a.m. The rattling of the cable in the
 
 BUENOS AIRES TO RIO BE JANEIRO. 237 
 
 tube down which it passes to the hold, disturbed my rest 
 sadly iu the night. At last the officer on the bridge, to whom 
 I complained, had it wedged and all was well. But this was 
 4 a.m. Punctually at 7 o'clock the ever-prompt Vine, as 
 usual, brought my Van Houten's cocoa, which Mr. Blinkhorn, 
 the chief steward — to whom I am indebted for many favours 
 — procured me at Monte Video. Of course, I was sound 
 asleep, and had to be waked up. Boiling in castor-oil is too 
 gentle a torture for the man who calls me when I am asleep 
 in the morning after a sleepless night ! Vine literally kills 
 me with these kind attentions. He breaks his way into the 
 cabin like a fireman who is determined to save my life or 
 die in the attempt. He is so atrociously thorough. Well 
 might Talleyrand condemn zeal. No doubt he once had a 
 punctual man to wake him. Vine was a man who would 
 actually come and tell you it was not time to get up yet. 
 Ye gods, just think of it ! Cocoa, boots, bath, breakfast-bell, 
 any mortal excuse was good enough. One would think I 
 was suffering from belladonna poisoning, and Vine had 
 instructions to keep me awake. If this should meet the eye 
 of any one so afflicted, I can strongly recommend Vine when 
 he leaves me. Apply to my executors, after the funeral. 
 Noon.— -Lat. 27° 33' S., long. 47° 00' W. Eiin, 373. miles. 
 12.45 p.m. — The bell has just sounded 
 fur fire-stations and boat-drill. As all 
 the waiters are mustered with the sea- 
 men, and lunch is at one o'clock, there 
 is but a quarter of an hour. 
 
 2 p.m. — It proved far more than enough, 
 however, for both performances. And we 
 were saved! It was almost painful to Heroes rehearsing, 
 see some of the heroes of this gallant band, within ten
 
 238 "ROW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 minutes of their daring exploit, handing round potatoes in 
 the saloon as if nothing had happened ; and then to reflect, 
 had the ship been on fire or on a rock, where we should 
 have been now but for the coolness of those with the 
 buckets, and the daring of those in the boats ! 
 
 4 p.m. — The weather has been perfect to-day. With 
 bright sun and cool breeze we have been bowling along at a 
 uniform sixteen knots, i.e. over eighteen miles an hour, 18 "24 
 miles exactly. A Brazilian frigate, very trim and pretty, 
 passed us within five hundred yards, the only object we have 
 seen since we left land. But one never feels dull at sea, eyes 
 and ears are so busy on board. 
 
 We brought away one hundred and ninety steerage pas- 
 sengers from Buenos Aires, nearly all Portuguese — home- 
 comers — and differing greatly from the out-goers we took to 
 Bio. They have clearly thriven, and are going home with 
 enough saved for their simple needs, perhaps £1500 — £500 
 for a bit of land and £1000 to stock it — but all their own, 
 and in their native country. They all seem happy and well- 
 clothed, but still faithful to the flaring colours of their race, 
 and to its dirt in their persons and their habits. They hate 
 water with greater intensity than the Frenchman hates it. 
 
 One day going out, when a baseless rumour got about that 
 owing to a hitch in the bath-room there was no water, it was 
 real sport to see the alacrity with which all the dirty Portu- 
 guese, to a man, rushed for their sponges and flocked to the 
 baths, hoping to score " good form " before the water-supply 
 returned. But to see their faces when they found all was as 
 usual ! And the deference with which every one was for 
 giving way to every one else, who wouldn't, of course, hear of 
 such self-sacrifice ! 
 
 A friend said the only parallel to their surprise was that
 
 BUENOS AIRES TO EIO BE JANEIRO. 
 
 239 
 
 of some fellows be knew tiger -hunting, who rushed with 
 lighted faggots to a cave to prevent the tiger taking refuge 
 in it, and — found Mm already there ! One could only say- 
 that their going pace was put hopelessly in the shade by their 
 returning record. 
 
 8. p.m. — Mr. Eitchie has been telling me a funny thing 
 about a former third engineer, when he (Eitchie) was second. 
 Seeing him loafing about, Mr. Eitchie asked if he had done 
 a certain job he had set him to do some time before. " I'm 
 going to do it when I go down," said " Third." " You're going 
 to do it now," said Eitchie, " and then you're going to tell me 
 why you didn't do it when I told you." Five minutes later, 
 hearing a frightful noise, as if the engine-piston had got free 
 and was pounding into the works, Eitchie went below, and 
 found the delincment facing the boiler, on which was chalked 
 in outline a figure with a peaked cap which there was no mis- 
 taking. By the aid of a ten-pound sledge-hammer, he was 
 evidently serving the sketch as he would like to have served 
 its original. Not a bit abashed, the youth swung round, 
 sledge still in hand, and apologizing for his delay in fulfilling 
 instructions, voluntarily explained that now he was only 
 cracking a nut." " Then 
 
 give me the kernel," said 
 Mr. Eitchie, " for that nut " 
 (pointing to the sketch) " is 
 clearly mine." "We were 
 capital friends ever after,'\ / 
 added the Chief Engineer. 
 
 The returning emigrants 
 have been doing a native 
 dance. Two men, one with Tho Monedas. 
 
 castanets, faced each other and performed ten figures with
 
 240 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 differing steps to the music, or rather the time given by a 
 third man on an old tambourine. Both dancers were fagged 
 out at the finish, yet each had retained the stump of a 
 cigarette between his lips all through. The dance is called 
 the Monedas, or money-dance. 
 
 The tippling passenger has just been amusing some of us. 
 Stepping off a thick mat, the two inches of descent seemed 
 to startle and send him plunging forward as if he had 
 had a deep fall. He pulled himself together, and seemed 
 to argue that, bad as the fall was, he must not let it 
 frighten and conquer him. So bracing himself for an effort, 
 he cautiously returned to the mat, faced round, and lifting 
 his foot (for a doiunivard step, mind you) a full yard high, 
 advanced, strode triumphantly over the precipice, and 
 awarded himself first and second prizes at the bar — both 
 " cock-tails." 
 
 Apropos, I have just heard of a comical experience that the 
 man on my left at meals had last night. Being very thirsty 
 from having had too many " drinks," he called the cabin 
 steward and, unable to speak English, tried to make him 
 understand by signs that he wanted some lemon-squash. At 
 first a biscuit (!) was brought, but on his imitating the motion 
 of squeezing the lemon, the steward felt that with such clear 
 pantomime there could be no uncertainty about his wants, 
 and so brought him a glass of milk, which, hopeless of getting 
 anything else, the poor sufferer drank. Dumb motions are 
 at times misleading. 
 
 This reminds me of a little story a great man once told me 
 relating to his nursery days, a story that has always seemed 
 to me less humorous than pathetic. " One morning," he said, 
 " while my sister and I were watching from our window a 
 knife-grinder at work on his double-pedalled machine opposite
 
 BUENOS AIRES TO RIO BE JANEIRO. 
 
 241 
 
 our house, my father, who was near-sighted and had nearly 
 lost his hearing, seeing us interested, came and stood between 
 us with his hands on our shoulders. Presently the knife- 
 grinder, having finished his job, got off his seat and was 
 preparing to go away, when my father, who had evidently 
 mistaken the side view of the man and of his pedal move- 
 ments for a musician playing a harmonium (or seraphine, as 
 it would then have been called), gave the nurse a few pence, 
 saying, ' Ask him to play the children one more tune.' 
 Booby-like, I remember the thing so tickled me that / 
 laughed, but only one little laugh, for my sister's sad, pitying 
 look stopped me at once. Quick as lightning, with that 
 happy intuition which nature has bestowed upon the gentler 
 sex, my sister snatched the money from nurse's hand, 
 ran across to the knife- 
 grinder, and taking him 
 into her confidence, by the 
 aid of the pence she got 
 him to stop and sharpen 
 one more knife ! This 
 he did, remounting his I | 
 machine and slowly and 
 solemnly pedalling as be- 
 fore. Then dismounting 
 once more, the fellow, 
 with a true appreciation 
 of Ms part in the little 
 drama, touched his hat to 
 my father in itinerant musician style, and went his way. 
 With like dramatic instinct too, I remember," said my 
 informant, " my little sister clapped her hands, and I, from 
 mere mimicry, did the same. In memory I can see her 
 
 R 
 
 •• D< ar, hind Papa."
 
 242 
 
 "BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 now, as she stroked father's hand upon her shoulder and 
 kissed him many times (while the man sharpened that 
 last knife), and many times too he must have read, upon 
 her lips and in her eyes, her oft-repeated, ' Dear, kind 
 Papa ! ' " 
 
 Iu thu Organ Mountains, Rio de Janeiro. (From a painting by 
 Walter W. Buckley.)
 
 ( 245 ) 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 EIO DE JANEIRO TO BAHIA. 
 
 November 30th (Sunday). — 9.30 a.m. We breakfasted in sight 
 of the famous Sugar-Loaf Mountain, at the entrance to Bio 
 Harbour, and we are now in full view of Corcovado. There 
 has been a nasty smell near my cabin lately, as of sour milk. 
 The Quarter-master has just explained that it is some Came 
 Secca, dried flesh, as the Brazilians call it, or in sailor parlance, 
 "jerked beef," sewed up in sacks, which we are landing at 
 Eio, I'm glad to find. 
 
 10.30 a.m. — For the last half-hour we have been waiting 
 for pratique, and having now got it, we are moving again and 
 going up to our old anchorage. A Brazilian coaster has just 
 hauled down her " blue-peter," and put out to sea. The fort 
 on our right has dipped its flag. 
 
 11 a.m. — We are at anchor, and I am going on shore at 
 noon to " do " Corcovado. 
 
 1 p.m. — Ashore. It being Sunday, and all the money- 
 changers in Eio closed, I went to lunch at the Hotel Globo, 
 where they knew me, and would take my English money. 
 There I met two English fellows, who most kindly put me 
 in the way of tramming it to the Mountain Eailway. They 
 also kept me company in the tram nearly all the way. From 
 them I heard that an armed attack had been made the night 
 before on the office of the Tribuna newpaper, which is in 
 sympathy with the dethroned Emperor. It seems to be my
 
 246 
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 luck to get into hot places in every sense. This disturbance 
 looks like a bad business, to judge from the way all are talk- 
 ing about it and wondering how it will end. The excitement 
 is intense and widespread. 
 
 4.30 p.m. — After a charming tram drive through the 
 favourite suburb of Botofogo, I have reached Corcovado and 
 am waiting for the five o'clock train up the mountain. I am 
 
 ,.«:iill!lllllI!K 
 Paneiras Railway, Corcovado. 
 
 the sole representative here of the Clyde, though there are 
 eleven other people going. 
 
 6.30 p.m. — We have been to the top and seen the sun shed 
 his farewell glories upon Pdo and the Bay. 
 
 The railway is of somewhat peculiar construction. Be- 
 tween the wheel-rails is a barred eight-inch ratchet, into 
 which a cogged wheel, beneath the engine, fits. In this way 
 a grip is got sufficient to push the train up the steep 
 incline, the engine being behind. The road is circuitous, 
 making a two-mile journey of the distance, which, measured
 
 RIO BE JANEIRO TO BAHIA. 
 
 247 
 
 as height, is but two thousand four hundred feet. Some six 
 hundred feet from the bottom you cross the first bridge, a red, 
 slender-looking iron thing, bridging a chasm of six hundred 
 feet. Shortly after you pass over a second and smaller one, and 
 arrive at a landing-place called Paneiras, where there is a very 
 good though small hotel, kept by a rather morose Frenchman. 
 
 Your first glimpse of the city is obtained just before reach- 
 ing the first of these bridges, and thence to Paneiras the 
 little railway cuts its way 
 through sandstone rocks which 
 in places overhang it rather too 
 suggestively. Winding through 
 these and the dense tropical 
 forest of gum-trees, palm, acacias, 
 india-rubber trees, cactus, etc., 
 the view is entirely obscured, 
 but a lovely bit of the bay 
 comes in sight as you reach 
 Paneiras, where you change 
 trains. Till lately, this was 
 the terminus, and the rest had 
 to be done on foot. Now you 
 enter a second train which takes 
 you to the summit. 
 
 In this top piece lies the only 
 sensation that at all tests one's 
 nerves. At a certain point — 
 which point I unhappily knew 
 only too well, having looked up at it from the deck of the 
 
 * This sketch was accidentally taken from the negative of the photograph. 
 To get the proper aspect hold it in front of a looking-glass, or view it as a 
 transparency through page 248. — C. C. A. 
 
 An awful corner."
 
 248 ''BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 Clyde — the line traverses the very edge of a precipice 
 seventeen hundred feet sheer down. Passing this point, 
 if you have nerve to enjoy it, you get a delightful view 
 of Botofogo and the Botanical Gardens, conspicuous in 
 which is the Avenue of Palms, dwarfed into nothingness by 
 our great height, but exquisitely symmetrical. The line then 
 makes a sharp turn from this precipice towards the summit, 
 and in doing so gives you an ever-increasing prospect over its 
 side. It is a very trying experience, especially for those who, 
 having seen this awful cliff from the sea, know what it is 
 they are thus climbing higher and higher over. You cannot 
 help thinking what eternal smash a little crack or flaw in 
 the machinery would produce at and above this awful corner. 
 
 But if you feel this going up, what of the downward trip ? 
 Yes, what indeed ! Well, I confess it did make me hold my 
 breath. There is no use in mincing matters, for the life of 
 me I could not enjoy the divinely grand view here coming 
 down. The same sort of thing on Vesuvius did not touch me 
 compared with this. For me, it was impossible to breathe at 
 all till we had passed this utterly horrible spot. We actually 
 came down that gradient of one in five at five or six miles 
 an hour! Perhaps it was safest so, and the speed was 
 certainly merciful as putting me quickly out of my misery. 
 Going up you knew of the danger, but this way you had to 
 face it. The other passengers had never seen the precipice, 
 you could tell that from their behaviour, and their ignorance 
 was bliss to them. How I wished, for the sake of my enjoy- 
 ment of that splendid view, that I had not. But I had, and 
 of course gave myself the full benefit of the knowledge at the 
 critical moment. Ugh ! I shall never forget the sensation 
 down my back and legs. 
 
 At the top is a huge structure (it looked like a pill-box
 
 RIO BE JANEIRO TO BAH I A. 
 
 249 
 
 from the ship) big enough to shelter five hundred people, a 
 sort of iron canopy with open sides, where refreshments can 
 be had. They charged me eight hundred reis (Is. 8d.) for 
 some ginger-ale and a nip of cognac for the railway-guard. 
 Here I waited to see the sun go down behind the lofty sister- 
 mountain Tijuca, glorifying all the lesser mountain peaks 
 for fifty miles round. Then suddenly, for there is no twilight 
 here, the city sprang at once into its spangled nightdress, 
 the lights starting out all over the immense expanse of 
 
 
 JwF%#%iii' &^ ^#« fa /Sm^- 
 
 Paneiras Hotel, Corcovado, Rio. 
 
 houses as if a fireworks display, worked by electricity, had 
 been planned for my particular delectation. The sight was 
 magically grand; yet, of the eleven people who had come 
 up with me, not one remained to see it. 
 
 When we got back to Paneiras, I found there was not a 
 bed to be had, so, utterly disconsolate (for I had longed to 
 see the sun rise from the mountain, and to wander in the 
 forests on its sides in the early morning), I took my seat in 
 the last descending train. Luckily this did not start for 
 ten minutes, during which time I became more and more
 
 250 " HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 discontented at the prospect of no sunrise and no orchid- 
 hunting. At last I could bear it no longer, and just as the 
 whistle went I sprang out of the train and let it go without 
 me. The proprietor of the hotel, seeing this, again assured 
 me that there was not a bed vacant. " Then I'll sleep on 
 a chair, or in that little railway carriage," I said. At this 
 juncture the railway engineer spoke a word for me, and, one 
 way or another, it came about that they let me have a room — 
 bright, clean, and if not large, large enough. 
 
 At dinner I found myself seated with one other visitor, 
 with whom I spent the rest of the evening most enjoyably. 
 He was an Englishman — Colonel Alexandre — staying perma- 
 nently at the hotel, and he had with him some of his own 
 sherry, which he kindly shared with me. The Colonel, who has 
 retired after thirty-nine years' service in the Eoyal Artillery, 
 came to Eio to advise the ex-Emperor on its fortifications. 
 He was fully up in the political situation, and gave me many 
 interesting comments thereon. 
 
 Last night's attack on the Tribuna was, he told me, 
 brought about by military officers disguised as civilians, who, 
 resenting some of the articles in that journal, determined to 
 smash and ruin it. The article which was the immediate 
 cause of the Tribuna outrage, contained an attack upon the 
 newly made President who was the Emperor's right hand. 
 Peminding him that he owed all he is and has to the 
 Emperor, it proceeded to inquire whether it gave him no 
 qualms of conscience to reflect with what base ingratitude 
 he had requited his benefactor, by becoming the moving 
 spirit in his enforced abdication. In brief, it was a homily 
 on " Et tu, Brute ! " In the assault, swords were drawn, shots 
 fired, two people wounded, and hundreds more frightened 
 almost out of their lives. The cry of Fccha, " Shut up shop,"
 
 RIO BE JANEIRO TO BAHIA. 253 
 
 soon spread and grew into one of Rcvolucao ! and the 
 stampede in the streets was becoming alarming, when troops 
 made their appearance and by degrees quieted things down. 
 
 The ex-Emperor seems to have been a very feeble man 
 for such an exalted position. He received everybody un- 
 announced. Court ceremony there was none. You could 
 walk into the palace as into a public office, and, as like as 
 not, you would find yourself asking the Emperor himself 
 the way to the Imperial presence. He drove about in the 
 shabbiest of carriages — a mere fly, indeed — and used to get 
 hustled and pushed about through going to railway stations 
 unattended. 
 
 There must be something in the old copy-book text about 
 " familiarity " and " contempt," after all. An Emperor 
 may be quite of the common or garden variety, if only he 
 will live in a hothouse and not show himself. He remains 
 dear to the people till he makes himself cheap, which seems 
 really to have been the greatest fault of the dethroned 
 Brazilian. There is a demand for gooseberry-juice labelled 
 " Champagne," but how much champagne could you sell 
 honestly labelled " Gooseberry " ? 
 
 My friend the Colonel thinks a permanent Republic is out 
 of the question here, where the population is of such mixed 
 nationalities that there can never be a community or identity 
 of interests. As in Argentina there are a million Italians, 
 so in Brazil there is a huge German population. The 
 Colonel gave me an illustration. Say a Brazilian, sent as 
 Governor to a state wholly or nearly German, makes rules 
 which he deems wise, but which do not meet with approval 
 there. The local papers " Guy " him and say he is a fool ; 
 lie appeals to the central authority for support ; he fails to 
 get it, and retires. This is constantly happening.
 
 254 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 Leaving my congenial companion, after a parting cigar on 
 the terrace overlooking the bay, I turned in for my short 
 night's rest at 11 p.m. 
 
 December 1st. — At 3.30 a.m. I was on the move again, and 
 out at four o'clock in the dark, wending my solitary way 
 once more to the summit. No sound but the hissing whistle 
 of swarms of frogs and an occasional salutation from a goat 
 far away up in the black recesses of the mountain, no light 
 (for the moon lay lost in a bed of cloud) but the glimmer of 
 the fitful fire-fly. During the previous evening these fire-flies 
 had lighted up the shrubs on the heights near the hotel, 
 till, what with the stars above, these gipsy lights around, 
 the spangled city, and the lights of the ships riding in the 
 Bay, one felt in a new world altogether. It was as if the 
 lamp of Aladdin had transported us, the sea, the city, and 
 the everlasting hills, somewhere up into the region of the 
 " Milky Way." 
 
 It is now 4.30 a.m., and I have climbed to the topmost 
 point of Corcovado, through the clouds. 
 
 Last night, as the sun set, I stood here while broad belts 
 of flame, in token of his parting benediction, shot out between 
 Tijuca and the neighbouring mountain. The rosy panorama 
 I then beheld to seaward lies colourless before me now, the 
 dim outline only sketched by the great world painter, ready 
 for colouring when he comes this morning. There it lies on 
 his gigantic easel. The Master is coming, and before him, 
 sweeping up the mountain sides and through its rifts, 
 blundering and huddling along and jolting each other, the 
 masses of black cloud, through which I struggled a few 
 minutes ago, are whitening like silver fleece. 
 
 Glancing over my right shoulder to the south, my view 
 stretches over an open sea. Turning slowly towards the left,
 
 RIO BE JANEIRO TO BAHIA. 257 
 
 it first passes four or five islands. Then comes a further 
 glimpse of sea and I am looking to the front due east, where 
 on the broad ocean's calm surface lies darkly just one little 
 ship. Slightly further to the left of this is the far-famed 
 Sugar-Loaf Mountain, the entrance to the. bay, and the 
 mountains on the many islands and mainland. Still further 
 to the left is the bay, and between me and it lies the whole 
 of Eio, while, forming the extreme background in the same 
 direction, stand the dark blue Organ Mountains. Thus one 
 has a panorama filling three-quarters of a circle. Should 
 
 
 Mouth of Rio Bay, from Santa Thereza Hill, Rio de Janeiro. 
 
 I wish to complete the circle, a slight turn brings into view 
 the rugged range of mountains rolling far away behind me 
 to westward, with at its northern end Tijuca, the sister-peak 
 to this, rearing her head three thousand two hundred feet 
 above the sea. 
 
 4.50 a.m. — The east is still merely grey, pale blue in places, 
 and with just two dashes of rose. Out to the north the 
 Organ Mountains are clothed in a hue of hqris lazuli, the 
 snowy clouds below their summit showing up the blue 
 superbly. At my feet is Eio, a harmony in all shades of 
 green, the toy houses looking like models in pink card, and 
 
 s
 
 258 
 
 HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 the ships in the bay reminding one of specimen beetles on 
 grey card — the masts mere pins to hold them in position. 
 The islands, great and small, that dot the surface from my 
 extreme left to right, seem mere sand-patches left dry by 
 the receding tide. 
 
 Straight before me to the eastward, a moment ago, a vessel 
 full sail was but a black speck. She is on fire now, and 
 through my glass every spar and bit of canvas is as 
 burnished gold. Yet, but a little to the left of her, the 
 islands and distant mainland are still of uncertain outline, 
 and patches of grey cloud here and there are lingering and 
 unwilling to go — patches so small, many of them, that they 
 
 The Gloria Church, Bio de Janeiro. 
 
 might well have been caused by some half-dozen guns 
 saluting the new flag. Ah, there they go, helter-skelter, 
 hurtling over the hills. 
 
 It is ten minutes after five, and the sun himself has come 
 at last ; but the red is fading out of the eastern sky, which 
 has become a pale yellow, softening to dove-colour. The 
 little vessel is dark again, having moved out of the path 
 of the sun's rays which form, as it were, a huge ship's wake 
 of shimmering rose from the horizon to my feet. 
 
 To the left, a group of velvety islands of a deep plum- 
 bloom tint sit in a row on a cushion of rose, while far
 
 BIO BE JANEIBO TO BAHIA. 
 
 259 
 
 away to the right, what I know to be four or five islands of 
 considerable size, lie like large grey limpets on a bed of 
 slate. The sun seems to have passed from the clouds, out 
 of which he emerged to show himself for a few moments 
 only, and has entered an immense, dense cloud-bank between 
 here and the sea. He will not appear again, I fear, and it 
 is six o'clock and I am cold ; so I say adieu to him — no, au 
 revoir, for I hope to see him many and many a time on the 
 homeward voyage. 
 
 On my way down I gathered some lovely ferns, and lost 
 my way wandering from the railway track, but soon found 
 it again by following the 
 channel of a mountain tor- 
 rent where water was rush- 
 ing in fanciful cascades 
 among the moss-clad rocks. 
 
 After a good breakfast, I 
 
 started for a couple of hours' 
 
 orchid-hunting through the 
 
 mazes of the forest down 
 
 the mountain side behind 
 
 the hotel. Twelve were 
 
 all I could find in the time 
 
 I had, and in all my life 
 
 I never felt hotter nor did 
 
 harder work. Gustav, the 
 
 hotel waiter, procured me 
 
 a box and some mould for my ferns and orchids, and also 
 
 a handkerchief to cover them ; indeed, he was a capital 
 
 fellow. 
 
 In the train all went well ; but the train-officials made a 
 great to-do about my parcels, no luggage of any kind being 
 
 Orchid-hunting.
 
 260 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 allowed on the passenger trams. However, by dint of per- 
 severance, and a most fortunate ignorance of Portuguese, 
 I got through to Eio with all my little belongings. 
 
 After making a few purchases in Eio, and lunching at 
 the Hotel Globo, I made my way on board the Clyde about 
 three o'clock, and at 3.50 p.m. we sailed away, and sad to say 
 for the last time, from Eio Janeiro — the most lovely spot 
 I have ever visited in my life. 
 
 As an impartial observer, however, it behoves me to record 
 not only what I see but what I hear. Of the disadvantages 
 of Eio as a place of permanent residence I have said some- 
 thing on my way out. Since then the indictment has been 
 amplified in many ways. Perhaps I may be excused for 
 introducing here some verses embodying the opinions of 
 a resident. They were addressed to — that is to — hem ! an 
 infatuated visitor. It is not well to identify one's self in 
 these matters. 
 
 PRO'S AND CON'S. 
 
 'Twere bliss, you think, to live and die 
 
 In such a lovely vale. 
 If you'd been here as long as I, 
 
 You'd tell a different tale ! 
 
 It is an exquisite delight 
 
 To come and see the views. 
 But live here, and you'll find it, quite 
 
 Another pair of shoes ! 
 
 Our streams and woods have rosy paths, 
 And bowers the woodbine makes ; 
 
 The streams are alligator baths, 
 The ivoods preserves for snakes ! 
 
 The mountains piercing azure skies, 
 
 The wealth of flowery dells : 
 All these, of course, you'll memorize — 
 
 But what about the smells ?
 
 BIO DE JANEIRO TO BAHIA. 261 
 
 With every tint in flower, and bird, 
 
 And tree, to charm thine eyes, 
 The sctnts and songs most smelt and heard 
 
 Come from the nigger styes! 
 
 What though metallic plumage glare, 
 
 And gaudy flowers gleam : 
 The rose no perfume lends the air, 
 
 Tlie parrots only scream ! 
 
 This " Eden" spread from sea to sea, 
 
 And climbing to the shies, 
 The salle a manger seems to be 
 
 For all created flies ! 
 
 And when the sun breeds pestilence, 
 
 Tlie fly, where'er he feeds, 
 Displays a plaguy diligence 
 
 Distributing the seeds! 
 
 At home you're all sun-worshippers, 
 
 Because he veils his face. 
 His mystery your devotion stirs, 
 
 You summerdoving race ! 
 
 But here on view the whole year round, 
 
 Tlie sun's the god of evil : 
 His very name a deadly sound : 
 
 We hate him — like the devil ! 
 
 Go home ! And when in sunless days 
 
 You wish that you were back 
 Where Phoebus lavishes his rays — 
 
 Bemember " Yellow Jack ! " 
 
 For me ; when 1 can homeward stump 
 
 And quit the place, I will. 
 I'd rather far be Aldgate pump 
 
 Tlian Emperor * of Brazil ! 
 
 8 p.m. — Acting on the advice of my friend Mr. Mervin, 
 I have clipped off every particle of green about the orchids, 
 
 * A slight anachronism. He 
 
 Must mean the " President." 
 The " Emperor '" is an absentee, 
 Aud not a resident. — C. C. A.
 
 262 " HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 and stowed the roots in ashes, and the steward having 
 kindly procured me a champagne-box for my ferns, they 
 are doing well under a fresh-water tap which drips day and 
 night. While I have been on shore, Mr. Ritchie has most 
 kindly attended to my " Star " razor, which now bids fair 
 to shave well. Everybody — but he more especially — is so 
 thoughtful in these little things, which after all go to make 
 up the thing which we call " happiness." 
 
 December 2nd. — 7 a.m. "While attending to my ferns just 
 now, out came two spiders from a small orchid I had set 
 in the mould with the plants ; the creatures measured about 
 three-quarters of an inch long and half an inch wide. On 
 showing them to some Argentines, they at once declared 
 them to be tarantulas. This has set me thinking what risks 
 I have been running through sheer thoughtlessness. In the 
 forest yesterday morning, I remember noticing what I 
 thought was a black slug partly out of a hole in the rotten 
 trunk of a tree. The quickness with which it disappeared 
 into the hole when I touched it, struck me at the time, but 
 only now, on talking it over with others, have I been able 
 to realize that, likely enough, it was a poisonous snake. 
 
 In a butterfly trip like this, flitting from spot to spot — 
 from England to Spain, Portugal and Brazil, all within a 
 few days, one does not, cannot grasp the full effect of the 
 transitions. It is next to impossible, for instance, to go 
 thus quickly to Rio and appreciate, while there, that one 
 is in the Brazils and not in Europe. Yet there are plenty 
 of novel features that should act as constant reminders. It 
 must be that the general interest is so roused as to be out 
 of focus for detail. Just as one will often remember dream- 
 land events, without being able to recall the scenery in which 
 they occurred. Speaking for myself, although my notes
 
 RIO BE JANEIRO TO BAB I A. 263 
 
 fill two hundred pages and a great part of them include 
 descriptions of scenery to aid my memory, while I can 
 recall every incident of the entire voyage out and home, 
 the localities with which they should be associated in my 
 mind have faded, and are with difficulty furbished up in 
 a fashion by the help of sketches, notes, and photographs. 
 This being the case, it has come upon me since I left Rio, 
 almost with the force of a blow, that in my orchid and fern- 
 hunting in the Brazils, the very nest and hotbed of the 
 reptile world, it was very foolish of me to put my hands 
 freely as I did into all sorts of holes and crannies. Yet 
 never once did the thought cross my mind while there and 
 doing it. 
 
 Noon.— Lat. 20° 44' S., long. 39° 43' W. Eun, 264 miles. 
 It has been raining hard all the morning, so I took the 
 opportunity of playing a celebrated chess player, a Mr. 
 Eisseng;arthen — whose oreat forte is blindfold chess, five or 
 six games at a time — a level game. To my joy I was able, 
 after a hard struggle, to force a draw. My opponent kindly 
 invited me to have another and decisive game, but I am 
 quite satisfied that I should not improve upon my present 
 position, so am resolved to rest on my hard-earned laurels. 
 
 3 p.m. — A curious story was told me by a passenger this 
 afternoon, of a man he travelled with to America, who used 
 to take opium pills. A second passenger, he said, having a, 
 dog on board, whose howling kept his master awake, 
 bethought him of these pills, and not seeing the other fellow 
 about, ventured to take two from his cabin without asking. 
 These he gave to the quarter-master to quiet the dog with. 
 Next day, on casually mentioning what he had done, the 
 owner of the pills got livid and frantic, rushed off to the dog, 
 and muttering something scarcely intelligible about " danger,"
 
 264 
 
 HOW I FOUND" HEALTIL 
 
 " fatal," and so on, administered an emetic to the poor dog, 
 but without apparently any satisfactory result. 
 
 Thus baffled, he began bidding for the animal, £5, £10, 
 £20, £30, £40, and in the end gave £50 for him — the master 
 judging, as the price rose, that there must be a sufficient 
 reason for it. At the next port, the master's destination, it 
 was arranged that he might take the dog's silver collar, and 
 so he did, leaving in the last boat before the ship sailed on 
 her way. 
 
 The bell had rung, the gangway was hoisted, and the screw 
 
 had made some half-dozen re- 
 volutions, when the dog was seen 
 to take a flying leap over the 
 ship's side into the sea, where, 
 fighting his way, he soon reached 
 his master's boat and was lifted 
 into it. A narrow escape for 
 the poor fellow, who, had he re- 
 mained, was destined to undergo 
 a surgical operation in quest of 
 A " returned empty." tw0 diamonds worth £500 
 
 apiece, which his purchaser was smuggling in the opium 
 pills ! 
 
 But the funniest part of the story is yet to be told. The 
 quarter-master, when questioned, admitted having forgotten 
 altogether to give the dog the pills, and was presently pre- 
 vailed upon for a gratuity to produce them. Whereupon it 
 turned out that they had been taken from a box of genuine 
 pills, and those containing the diamonds had not been 
 touched. There is only one more fact to add, namely, that 
 the authorities on shore got wind of the story, arrested, the 
 smuggler, and confiscated his diamonds !
 
 RIO DE JANEIRO TO BAH I A. 265 
 
 To which I have but this to say, 
 That fifty pounds is a lot to pay, 
 For an empty dog that runs away. 
 
 9. p.m. — Talking just now with an Englishman long resi- 
 dent in Argentina, he kindly corrected my pronunciation of 
 that word. The " g " is like the German " ch " — Archentina, 
 therefore, is the correct sound. Mr. Scott, a passenger who 
 joined us at Eio, hearing this little lesson, said it reminded 
 him of the policeman of whom a Frenchman inquired his 
 way to "Karing Cross." Drawing himself up to his full 
 height and looking down his nose at " Froggy," the man-in- 
 blue delivered himself thus : " It ain't ' Karing Cross ; ' the 
 diphthong ' ch ' is not hard as in ' cab,' ' cucumber,' ' cork,' but 
 soft, as in ' sherry,' ' sugar,' ' shirt.' " 
 
 A vessel passed us while talking, and we all remarked a 
 curious effect of her lights. While the red port-light seemed 
 where the ship was, the white masthead-light looked to be 
 three or four miles further off. It was really impossible to 
 believe that both lights were on the same vessel. Another 
 has since passed us presenting the same peculiarity. Slowly 
 as we are going, fourteen knots only, each ship was in sight 
 but just ten minutes. 
 
 Strange to say, our slowing down is due to our having been 
 delayed an hour and a half over our time yesterday at Eio. 
 If we had cleared by 4 p.m. we should be going full steam, 
 and should reach Bahia by 5 p.m. to-morrow ; but leaving as 
 we did at 5.50 p.m. we cannot fetch there till too late for 
 business purposes. So we have made up our minds to go 
 slowly and enter Bahia at daylight on Thursday. 
 
 December Zrd. — 7.30 a.m. Have just seen my first whale 
 at close charters ; I could have hit it with an orange. He was 
 one of the club-headed species, built like a river chub, and as 
 he rose for air, he blew a cloud of white spray such as one
 
 266 
 
 HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 sees round a fountain on a fine summer's day. Three or four 
 times did he give us this sight quite near to the ship. 
 
 Several of us in pyjamas and dressing-gowns were watching 
 him from the deck, whither we had strolled as usual after our 
 baths. Ladies are not expected on 
 deck till after 8 a.m., and if they 
 come they should be prepared to 
 tolerate this trifling amount of 
 deshabille in a man's attire. On 
 this occasion a lady audibly com- 
 mented and withdrew, though for 
 the life of me I cannot see what 
 indelicacy there is in shirt and 
 trousers and a dressing-robe. Linen 
 suits are the chief wear in the Brazils 
 — silk and linen, silk, silk and flannel, 
 and flannel. To debar a man so 
 attired, and who has just tubbed and had his coffee and 
 cracknel, from the natural sequitur of a blow on deck, would 
 be cruel. And I'm sure no lady would wish to be cruel 
 to the inferior sex, unless indeed she belongs to the fin-dc- 
 siecle female guild, which has just discovered that man is 
 woman's " under-study ; " in other words, that " the proper 
 study for mankind is" — woman. From such there is no 
 quarter. It is war to the fruit-knife with them (they are 
 mostly vegetarians), and, against man, as their natural 
 enemy, they have drawn the bodkin and flung away the 
 case. 
 
 N 0(m ,— Lat. 15° 53' S., long. 38° 26' W. Run, 308 miles. 
 Bahia 175 miles off. 
 
 3 p.m. — There has been so much to do writing up my 
 notes and keeping an eye on current events, that I have 
 
 The shocker.
 
 BIO DE JANEIRO TO BAHIA. 
 
 207 
 
 omitted to record my final leave-taking of Rio. The city- 
 was in a great state of commotion, and there was a military 
 parade in force along the Eua Direita, the main thoroughfare 
 in which is the Hotel Globo, where I lunched. While there, 
 I met Colonel Alexandre, who was coming aboard to take a 
 farewell of our Minister at Rio, who was going with us to 
 England. When I got on board, I found, to my great joy, Sir 
 Vivian Bland also there, and had the pleasure of bringing 
 this gentleman and the Colonel together, whereby I claim to 
 have provided each with a very entertaining companion. 
 
 Sir Vivian had come to take leave of the old ship homeward- 
 bound, having himself to remain 
 some time longer in Rio. I 
 strongly urged him not on any 
 account to sleep in the city, 
 which is a fever den, and recom- 
 mended the hotel at Paneiras, 
 where the Colonel has been stay- 
 ing for some months. The rooms 
 are small but very clean and 
 cool, the food is excellent, the 
 forest hard-by is full of choice 
 ferns, and orchids are to be 
 found in plenty. If ever I had 
 to stay in Rio, I should make 
 Paneiras my head-quarters, that 
 is to say, where I should lay my 
 head at night. By rail and tram 
 you reach the centre of the city 
 in seventy minutes. 
 
 8 p.m. — An Argentine has just 
 told me an amusing incident of the Revolution. On July 
 
 Candidates for the IMaza 
 
 " Victoria Cross."
 
 268 
 
 HOW 1 FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 29th, when the fighting and bombardment were at their 
 height and shells bursting in all directions in the Plaza 
 Victoria, an Englishman and his wife were seen quietly 
 sauntering across the Plaza, about as much concerned as if 
 the troops there were merely on parade. At the door of the 
 Congress Hall they stopped, and each turned a big opera- 
 glass upon the squadron and watched the shelling. Then 
 sauntering back across the square where shells were falling, 
 to Government House, they advanced towards the President, 
 who with many others was seated there, and each shook 
 
 .The Harbour, Bahia. 
 
 hands with him. The gentlemen all raised their hats and 
 were too polite to allow a muscle of their faces to indicate 
 their amusement at this sang-froid. But when the eccentric 
 couple were out of earshot, one of the deputies exclaimed, in 
 Spanish, " Good God ! What a race ! No wonder half the 
 world belongs to them." 
 
 This all sounds very neat, and I am sorry to spoil a good 
 thing ; but really when one hears of shells falling thick and 
 fast in the Plaza Victoria, one must call a halt. They never 
 fell thick or fast, and the sighting for Government House,
 
 BIO BE JANEIRO TO BAB I A. 
 
 2G9 
 
 which the squadron wanted to hit, was so atrociously bad 
 that it and the square around it were about the safest places 
 in the city. Again, this " bombardment," it should be 
 remembered, occurred during the armistice, and was of course 
 speedily silenced. And yet again, when the other fleets saw 
 the wild firing, fearful of being hit themselves, they laid 
 their heads together and sent an ultimatum to the Argentine, 
 that if he didn't cease firing the combined English, French, 
 and American fleets would open fire on him. All which 
 goes to show that the shelling must have been very brief as 
 well as wide. 
 
 December 4th. — 5.20 a.m. I wake with the rattle of the 
 cable, as we anchor once more in Bahia. One can't go 
 ashore without first getting something to eat, and by the 
 time one has tubbed, dressed, and fed, it is seven o'clock. 
 As the notice is up that we sail again at 10 a.m., it gives at 
 most a couple of hours on shore. 
 Still, I am going. 
 
 10.30 a.m. — I have had another 
 look round the interesting old 
 place, peeped into a church or 
 two, which are even at that early 
 hour well filled with black women 
 dressed in the brightest colours 
 obtainable. At intervals during 
 the services, a very peculiar effect 
 is produced by the firing off of 
 crackers. It is supposed to in- 
 dicate a festa (feast), but you 
 hear them constantly. Nearly 
 every day is a feast-day here. 
 
 Fexta ut Bahia 
 
 To the English ear, the 
 going off of crackers is about the most unimpressive sound
 
 270 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 imaginable. And when some sixty churches set to work 
 ringing bells and firing crackers, the effect is positively 
 ludicrous. In Bahia this is for ever going on. You hear 
 it far away on entering the bay, and you never quite lose 
 it for an hour the day through. 
 
 It is related of Bahia, that once upon a time a certain 
 Captain anchored in the bay during hazy weather. After 
 carefully listening for an hour or so for the well-known 
 sounds of bells and crackers and hearing none, he gave the 
 word to " weigh anchor," and cleared out, convinced, as he 
 said, that he was not in Bahia at all.
 
 ( 271 ) 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 BAHIA TO ST. VINCENT. 
 
 December Uh. — 11.32 a.m. Our Captain has just given 
 similar orders, and soon we shall not be "in Bahia." We 
 had rather an ugly experience going on shore. A friend and 
 myself had engaged a boat, and were sitting in the stern 
 waiting to start, when ten or a dozen of our Portuguese 
 steerage-passengers sprang unceremoniously in too. Of 
 course our boatman was delighted, for he got a milreis (2s.) 
 from each of us, and we found had bargained to take these 
 Portuguese at half-a-milreis apiece. Their weight, prin- 
 cipally aft, brought the gunwales of the boat dangerously 
 near the water, I thought, and when, a minute afterwards, 
 our boatman flung a hawser to a passing tug to take us in 
 tow, I guessed what would happen. The instant the rope 
 was taut, we rushed through the water with a wave six feet 
 deep following in our wake, and if six or eight of us had not 
 rushed forward and eased the boat, we must have swum for 
 our lives — and it is a very sharky spot. 
 
 Coming back, we had quite a row to get the men to take 
 us aboard again in time. The Portuguese had not come up 
 at the time fixed, and we determined to go aboard without 
 them. But we had to overpower the men and take the oars 
 ourselves; and then, as luck would have it, after all our 
 trouble the laggards appeared in sight, and for very shame
 
 272 " HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 we had to put back and take them in. Poor fellows ! among 
 them all there was only one who could write and cipher — 
 and the way he reckoned up the amount he was to pay the 
 boatman for eight of them, at five-hundred reis each, was by 
 putting five hundred down eight times over, and then adding 
 up the eight lines ! My friend and I both saw him solemnly 
 doing this — and saw too in what respect the feat seemed to 
 place him with his companions ! 
 
 The weather was threatening going, and it rained hard 
 coming back. Now a perfect deluge is falling — a thorough 
 tropical storm. There are two Catamarans out in it, with 
 sails close furled: the men must be drenched through and 
 through. There can't be a dry thread on them. 
 
 The Chief Steward has kindly brought me off some fresh 
 mould, and I have just replanted my ferns, which are looking 
 healthy. There are about twenty-five in all — only one or 
 two rare ones. All the better; the commoner the hardier. 
 All I want is to get some of them, good, bad, or indifferent, 
 alive to England, as mementoes of Rio and its giant guardian 
 Corcovado. 
 
 The Doctor has just opened a cage containing the wildest 
 of wild marmosets, about the size of a rat. He screamed at 
 us like a very maniac, and curled his head under his body, 
 rearing his back and glaring at us horridly. He looks like 
 a little old man with grey whiskers, and reminds me exactly 
 of the fiend in "Rip Van Winkle," who lures Rip to his 
 fateful sleep on the mountain. The intervals between the 
 vicious-looking teeth, the white patch on the forehead, and 
 the grin full of sin were all there. 
 
 ■4 p.m. — One of our friends has just been telling me how 
 he was able to give a liberal contribution to a charity fund 
 on board ship, during one of his many voyages.
 
 BAH1A TO ST. VINCENT. 273 
 
 Somehow it leaked out that he had a "curiosity" with him 
 on board the ship, which is like a board school — anything will 
 do for a diversion. Men will pay a shilling, or five shillings, 
 to see on board what they would not go to look at if it were 
 shown for nothing on shore. My friend's marvel was an 
 animal which was announced to be going out to the Buenos 
 Aires " Zoo," and certainly a most eccentric freak of nature 
 it purported to be, viz. " half-dog, half-bear." 
 
 There was a little poetic licence in this description, but 
 it answered beyond his wildest dreams. Everybody came 
 to see it, and everybody paid a shilling. The thing was a 
 mere hoax, of course ; but as the visitors were admitted but 
 one at a time, each saved himself from wearing the fool's cap 
 by handing it on to the next comer. The animal in question 
 was a French poodle, the hinder half of ^,- ; ^ 
 
 which, being shaved, constituted him, in 
 sound at least, "half-dog, half-bear" 
 (i.e. bare). By deftly manipulating the 
 prices of admission according to cir- 
 cumstances, charging more for some and ' »' ear- ' 
 less for others, he actually realized for the charity a sum 
 of five pounds. 
 
 8 p.m. — There has been a great to-do in the Captain's 
 cabin. One of the emigrants has been robbed of a diamond 
 ring, and his piteous cries mingling with the protestations of 
 a suspected companion, and interspersed with the comments 
 of the maitre d'hdtel, of a gentleman who is acting as inter- 
 preter, and of the Captain, make up a very Babel of sound — 
 as some one just said, "there was a sound of devilry by 
 night." From all I can hear the net result is that the poor 
 man who has lost his ring, has been cautioned to be more 
 careful in future. From which I gather that our Captain is 
 
 T
 
 274 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 not a gaucho, or at least not a Facendo Quiroga, who was 
 a gauclw, and who was called as a pet name the "Tiger 
 of the Plains," of whom there is a story told which, for 
 shrewdness, certainly runs Pog's plan for discovering the 
 real owner of a watch, very close. 
 
 It appears Quiroga's soldiers had, amongst them, managed 
 to " find " some article of value " before it was lost." and the 
 matter was accordingly submitted to the chief. 
 
 Ordering a sufficient number of twigs to be cut, all of an 
 equal length, Quiroga handed them round to his soldiers, 
 who each took one. They were then told — and gaucJws are 
 incredibly superstitious, and would believe anything and 
 everything their chief told them — that they were to parade 
 the following day, by which time the twig of the real culprit 
 would have grown an inch, while the other twigs, of course, 
 would not. The following day, at the dread hour, all were 
 paraded. The chief, with stern brow, passed solemnly down 
 the lines in perfect silence. Nothing happened, all seemed 
 over, and one heart in those ranks began to beat again, and 
 to hope that all was well. When suddenly, wheeling round 
 as he reached an elevation from which he always viewed his 
 men in line, he called aloud in a voice of thunder the name 
 of one of his soldiers. " Advance, thief ! " he cried, and forth 
 came the poor staggering wretch, whose haggard looks and 
 faltering steps made full confession of his crime before his 
 words. Snatching the twig from the trembling hand, Quiroga 
 cried aloud : " Behold the thief! To death with him ! " And 
 as he went to his doom the self-convicted prisoner confessed, 
 that in fear lest the growth of his twig should convict hiin, 
 he had shortened it oy one, inch. 
 
 Ordeal by twig, and doubtless the origin of the expression, 
 " Don't you twig ? "
 
 BAHIA TO ST. VINCENT. 275 
 
 December 5th. — 8 a.m. The night has been very hot and 
 oppressive, by reason of the closing of all the ports. There 
 was a head wind, which caused us to ship a little water 
 now and then, and so at 3 a.m. we were all disturbed by the 
 steward coming to screw up the port-lights. Being thus 
 thoroughly waked up, I utilized the opportunity by going on 
 deck for a blow at 4 a.m. 
 
 The " Southern Cross " was higher in the sky than I had 
 ever seen it, and by dint of oft-repeated overtures I am 
 positively getting to like the thing. Like the wart on an old 
 friend's nose, time is consecrating it as a tender memory. It 
 is still upside-down — not the nose— no, nor the wart, I mean 
 the " Cross " — and leaning east and west at an angle of forty- 
 five degrees, and has never looked to such advantage. Usually 
 it has been low in the sky, and therefore partially obscured by 
 the clouds that gather along on the southern horizon on most 
 nights. Orion, instead of being over the masthead, is about 
 twenty degrees to the east of that position, and Sirius (more 
 brilliant than I have ever seen him) about forty degrees. 
 
 The wind caused by our rushing through the air at eighteen- 
 and-a-half miles an hour, felt quite warm to me, though I was 
 hatless and in nothing but pyjamas ; but there was motion 
 in the air, and even that was a treat after the deadly stillness 
 and heat of the cabin. In fact, it had much the same effect 
 as rapid fanning, or the swinging of a punkah in a hot room. 
 The glass in my cabin stood at 8G D , and when I brought it up 
 on deck it dropped to 80°, where it remained stationary. 
 
 JSfoon. — Latitude, longitude, and run not announced. 
 
 All the way from Bahia we have been coasting within sight 
 of the shore, which looks extremely pretty with its golden 
 strand gleaming like ripe wheat, and bright green hills, and 
 far away behind these the pine-capped mountains. It is, I
 
 276 
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 believe, in reality, a desolate shore, and the natives are most 
 inhospitable to any poor fellows wrecked on their coast ; but 
 from this safe point of observation — perhaps ten miles out — 
 it at any rate possesses all the enchantment that distance 
 lends to view. Away to the right, and well within view, 
 lies the last point we touch at on the American coast. 
 
 1.5 p.m. — Pernambuco ! We have just passed the Liguria, 
 Pacific boat, anchored here, and are at this moment dropping 
 
 anchor ourselves. In less than 
 five minutes the bumboats are 
 alongside, with oranges, bananas, 
 melons, and luscious magnificent 
 pine-apples. I am counting on 
 getting a barrel of pines as pre- 
 sents for my friends at home, and 
 have commissioned the Chief 
 Steward to buy them for me on 
 shore. We stop but four or five 
 hours, so I shall not land myself. 
 Of live stock they brought 
 on board monkeys, parrots, and 
 cages containing from twenty to fifty small birds of all sorts, 
 with brilliant plumage of every hue. The steerage passengers 
 haggle from the spar-deck with the bumboat people, and 
 when a bargain is struck, up come the purchases in a bag, 
 pulled on board by one string and guided from the boat by 
 another, the money being sent in the returning bag. 
 
 3 p.m. — The after-deck is covered with all the birds and 
 animals for sale, and this is the last chance for anybody 
 intending to take a monkey or a parrot. There are cages of 
 from thirty to forty blue-plumaged tiny birds that fight, and 
 when they peck, hold on to one another like bull-clogs. They 
 
 Bumboats alongside the Clyde.
 
 BAHIA TO ST. VINCENT. 
 
 277 
 
 have no song, but their colouring is grand. None for me, 
 thank you. I should not mind a parrot if I could attend to 
 it myself, but you are not permitted to take a parrot into 
 your cabin, and if you hand him over to the butcher, which 
 is the only other way, it costs you five shillings for his keep, 
 and he may die. That is, he may die by proxy. There is a 
 ship's proverb that "the butcher's parrots never die," the 
 explanation being that if one of his should " shuffle off," his 
 dead body is put on a living bird's perch, and the live bird 
 is — well, we'll say adopted by the butcher. 
 
 4.30 p.m. — The Doctor has most kindly bought two parrots 
 and given me my pick of them. My choice has fallen on a 
 little six-months '-old chap with no tail, and only one-and-a- 
 quarter wings. I never saw such a disgraceful case of clipping ; 
 it is more like amputation of the wing. 
 But he's a merry little chap, and is 
 singing and chattering already as I 
 write on the top of my broad-brimmed 
 hat. He cost me three milreis [ (six 
 shillings), and I call him cheap. (If 
 the punctilious Pog were here, he'd 
 say, "No, you don't; you call him 'Che' 
 only. You might have added the rest 
 while you were about it." But this is 
 "too previous," as they say. See 
 further on.) He would certainly not 
 be cheap as an article of food (baked 
 parrot is by no means an unsavoury dish), for he would be, I 
 should say, a mere shrimp when plucked ; but he has a note 
 out of all proportion to his figure. 
 
 Some men are built that way, with voices utterly belying 
 their looks. I remember once getting a surprise in that 
 
 Aspiring to the crown.
 
 278 "HOW I FOUND* HEALTH. 
 
 respect on entering a " 'bus." At the end were an elderly 
 lady and her daughter, and opposite them a tall, fat, beefy 
 young curate with perfectly auburn hands, to whom they 
 were listening with solemn rapt attention. Out of this 
 mountain of plumpness, a good six feet high and eighteen 
 stone in weight, there was wafted along the centre aisle of 
 the " 'bus " a sound so fluty, so dulcet, that no one would 
 ever dream of its coming out of him. It was the proverbial 
 " Mountain in labour, bringing forth the mouse." He had his 
 eyes closed, and this is what he said, or rather sang : 
 
 "The German nation is a more musical nation than the English nation, 
 and hence we find that the German piping-bullfinch is a more melodious 
 soDgster than the English piping-bullfinch." 
 
 The ladies smiled through their tears, and seemed 
 quite overcome, and I — I got on to the roof for fear of giving 
 way myself ; there was such tender pathos — such a tear, as 
 it were, in the voice — that, before I knew where I was, I 
 found my hand in my pocket instinctively scraping the edge 
 of a threepenny-bit to see that it was not a fourpenny in 
 view of the coming collection. It was the exact ideal voice 
 for a charity sermon. 
 
 We have had the funniest afternoon performance with the 
 parrots and two small marmosets the Doctor is taking home. 
 The smaller and tamer one, being loose in the cabin, and 
 seeing the parrots in the adjoining dispensary, tried every 
 dodge to get to them, climbing over me, time after time, and 
 looking out for a possible jump to land ihini near the " Papa- 
 gayo" (Gay Papa), as the Brazilians call the parrot. At 
 last we let him go, and the mite-of-a-thing capered straight 
 up to my bird, and, standing on his hind legs, challenged the 
 good-natured fellow. Polly made room for him, and " gave 
 him best," as they say ; but all would not do. The little demon
 
 BAHIA TO ST. VINCENT. 281 
 
 flew up at once and fearlessly snatched her piece of orange, 
 not because he wanted it — oh no — but just out of pure cussed- 
 ness ; for, the moment he got it, off he started right under the 
 parrot's beak (where, if so-minded, the bird could have chopped 
 him in half with one snap), and quietly went to work gnaw- 
 ing the bird's foot ; and when the poor sufferer screamed with 
 pain, the little devil screamed too, and, turning upon the 
 second parrot, served her the same. For two hours did this 
 little scamp fight, first one and then the other, and beyond a 
 noisy but harmless protest, neither has cared to do anything 
 to defend itself. The arena of conflict has been crowded to 
 witness the antics and prowess of this little marmoset. 
 
 5 p.m. — Mr. Blinkhorn has returned from shore with the 
 news that the Liguria and another vessel, coming in ahead 
 of us, have cleared out the entire stock of pine-apples in 
 Pernambuco ! Many on board besides myself are bitterly 
 disappointed, and so will many more be at home. The 
 Orinoko (Messageries Maritimes) has just steamed out past 
 us ; they are dipping to us and we to them. The Liguria 
 left while we were at lunch, I hear, but we shall overtake 
 her, Mr. Eitchie says, in twenty-four hours. 
 
 5.50 p.m. — We are off again just as we are trooping in to 
 dinner. " Farewell, America ! " I hear friend Mervin say. 
 A sure sign that champagne will be called into requisition 
 at dinner. Well, it is an event, there's no denying that. 
 
 8 p.m. — At dinner the electric light went bang out, for the 
 first time in my experience on the Clyde. It has often gone 
 dull for ten seconds or so and then revived, but to-night it 
 went out, simply. Amid shouts of " Chief Engineer ! " my 
 good friend Mr. Eitchie hurriedly left the saloon, and we 
 heard him tell the gunner, Bo'sun, third engineer, or some- 
 body to " get up " (I suppose the said somebody was sitting
 
 282 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 on the wires) and immediately the light returned, and so 
 did Mr. Ritchie, who was received this time with frantic 
 ejaculations of " Saved, saved ! " On shipboard a joke of 
 any kind, a poor seedy thing that you'd be ashamed of in 
 your silliest dream, is welcome. Hence my vis-a-vis was 
 able to score well, on the spur of the moment, with this 
 atrocity — (Question) "What goods does it pay best to 
 export ? " (Answer) " The Electric light, because whenever 
 it 'goes out' its full value is ' brought home ' to you." 
 
 Pernambuco, as I have before said, is famous for its sharks. 
 Here is a photograph of the first, or a bit of the first caught 
 aboard the Clyde. The bonny, bearded face in the centre of 
 the picture belongs to one of the Quartermasters. 
 
 The two parrots and one of the marmosets had a little 
 tea-party this afternoon. The Doctor and I had been having 
 afternoon tea in his cabin, and there being some tea left in 
 my cup I handed it to my parrot, whom I have christened 
 " Che " (pronounced Chay), the name in Argentina answering 
 to our " chappie." He at once accepted the gift, cup and all, 
 and standing on the edge — it was a heavy cup — drank, bo wing- 
 in stately style at each sip. The fiend monkey watched him 
 for a couple of moments, and then, getting insupportably 
 jealous, climbed to the cup-rim too. At this point, the second 
 parrot attempted to join the tea-party, but the moment he 
 put one foot on the cup the monkey bit it, and, standing up 
 on his hind legs, he grinned, yelled, chattered, and gibbered 
 in such a way that he appeared to be slanging the intruder 
 in several languages at once. Finding this eloquent gib- 
 berish had no result, he went right and left for both parrots, 
 who, utterly staggered by the suddenness and violence of the 
 assault, fluttered off anywhere out of the little tyrant's way, 
 screeching at the tops of their voices. Whereupon, having
 
 The Clyde's first shark.
 
 BAEIA TO ST. VINCENT. 285 
 
 a clear field, the little humbug took just one sip, and then, 
 sneezing and sputtering, went straight off after them to bite 
 their feet in that masterly style which he has now made so 
 completely his own. In doing so he tried to leap the Doctor's 
 cup, and fell into the tea, where he would assuredly have 
 been drowned, but for the prompt action of my " Che," who, 
 seeing his struggles, hauled him out by the scruff of the 
 neck, and dropped him into the sugar-basin, to dry. How 
 human these monkeys are ! Thus snatched from the very 
 jaws of death, his first thought was of the sugar sticking to his 
 clothes ; his next of his rescuer, at whose feet he fell — fell- 
 to, perhaps, I ought to say — with redoubled attention. Of 
 course " Che " didn't understand that all he wanted was to 
 place her foot upon his neck, to indicate his subjection after 
 the manner of his country, and so there was a further row 
 till I stopped it. Parrots are so ignorant. 
 
 This little chap's determination to attain whatever he 
 wants, reminds me of Darwin's anecdote about a monkey 
 and kitten. Placed together as stable companions while 
 very young, they fared along very well and were capital 
 friends, till the kitten began to develop her claws. These 
 weapons severely punished the monkey, who had nothing 
 but cunning to match against them. Wit, however, and 
 not for the first time in the world's history, stood the poor 
 victim in place of armament — for one day he was found 
 holding down the kitten, every one of whose claws he had 
 nibbled off. By this simple method was the balance of 
 power once more adjusted in their household. That monkey 
 must surely have heard some one's rude remark, that " A 
 rose without thorns is a woman without nails." 
 
 The parrots I have spoken of are each eight or nine 
 inches high, while the body of the little marmoset doesn't
 
 286 "BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 measure three-and-a-half inches all told. His tiny neck 
 is no thicker than a lead pencil, and one single peck from 
 their powerful beaks would have silenced the little imp in 
 one second, and for ever. 
 
 December Qth. — 8 a.m. I got up and went for a stroll on 
 deck at 3 a.m., and had a fine view of the " Southern Cross," 
 and also of the so-called " False Cross." They stood thus : — 
 
 True Cross. False Cross. 
 
 Mariners find the " false " Cross a useful guide to the " true " 
 one. A line drawn as I have indicated will act as a pointer 
 and give the right direction. 
 
 ffion.— Lat. 4° 31' S., long. 32° 45' W. Eun, 250 miles. 
 Fernando de Norhona, 45 miles. 
 
 The Doctor has just told me that the imp located in the 
 dispensary, overcome by curiosity, during the night removed 
 the stopper from the bottle containing tartar emetic, and 
 indulged in a handful of what he doubtless mistook for 
 sugar. The result is, as I have just seen, that he is holding 
 on to the wires of his cage outside with both hands, and 
 retching like an inveterate drunkard. In bringing him to 
 my cabin to attend to him, the silly little chap got frightened 
 and leapt off my shoulder over the bannisters down to 
 the main saloon. Cat-like he fell on his feet, and seems 
 none the worse for what, to so tiny a creature, must have 
 been almost equivalent to a man jumping off a housetop. 
 I made sure he was dashed to pieces. Not a bit of it ; he 
 trotted off into the bows, and I, following with my hat in
 
 BAEIA TO ST. VINCENT. 287 
 
 my hand, cornered him in the fore-hatch. He screamed, 
 writhed, and snapped maliciously, and finally sprang on to 
 my head, where I captured him by popping on my hat. I 
 have returned him to his prison with the larger chap we 
 call the " untameable fiend." 
 
 Monkeys are for ever either jumping or climbing. The 
 Doctor's pet, a universal favourite on board, by name 
 "Jacko," succumbed to his climbing propensities. He 
 essayed to ascend the smoke-stack, and was frightfully 
 scalded by a jet of steam. " Ah," said the Doctor reflec- 
 tively, " I always told him his tricks would get him into hot 
 water some day." Poor Jacko had been the Doctor's faith- 
 ful ship-companion for two years. He would lie on his 
 back, with legs in the air in imitation of his master, and 
 pretend to read any book or paper he could get, peeping 
 round the edge every now and then the better to hit off the 
 Doctors style. When the Doctor was shaving, Jacko would 
 come to have his towel on, and then would proceed most 
 solemnly to lather his face and shave himself with a paper- 
 knife, wiping the lather on his thigh, where he had seen the 
 Doctor wipe his on a piece of paper. When the Doctor 
 threw his towel off, Jacko would do the same, but the trouble 
 used to come when the Doctor threw his piece of paper away. 
 Having no paper on his thigh, Jacko used 
 to pull at his fur till he screamed with 
 pain ; and when at last he found that the 
 skin and suds would not come off, he'd 
 take the suds in his hand and wipe them 
 over the face of the nearest parrot outside J^-o, loq. • « That 
 
 L stout must have had 
 
 the cook's galley. » head on it." 
 
 He stole and drank a bottle of stout once, and as a result 
 
 got an awful drunkard's headache. There he lay, huddled
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 up in a corner, with his head pressed, between his hands 
 cooing and looking up at every passer-by for pity. It took 
 him three hours to sleep off the effects of that debauch, and 
 ever after, if you showed him a bottle of stout, he would 
 assume that melancholy attitude illustrative of the "dire 
 effects of drink." Thenceforth, says the Doctor, Jacko be- 
 came a blue ribbonist ; ay, and proudly wore the ribbon, 
 too, attached to his collar. No more nasty stout for him. 
 But he would drink whiskey like a fish, and unblush- 
 ingly lie and sleep off the effects, drunk as a fly, with his 
 blue ribbon fluttering in the breeze. His idea, probably, 
 was that when you have drunk " till all is blue," you should 
 loyally hoist your colours. 
 
 He earned the blue ribbon through giving up stout, 
 
 Aud therefore did right to accept it. 
 'Twas a limited promise he made, without doubt, 
 
 But in letter and spirit he kept it. 
 
 Poor little Jacko, his one delight was the bit of blue 
 ribbon — the emblem he had unwittingly desecrated — and 
 when he was so fearfully burnt, and they took the ribbon off 
 because it hurt his wounds, he cried to have it put on again, 
 and wore it to the last. 
 
 3.30 p.m. — We are just passing the convict island of 
 Fernando de Xorhona. We are over three hundred miles 
 from Pernambuco, yet here is a Catamaran merrily dancing 
 along as if close at home. Mr. Mervin tells me in India the 
 Catamaran consists of a " dug-out " (i.e. a tree burnt out in 
 the form of a boat) with one plank at right angles to its 
 stem, and another to its stern, connected by a third ruuning 
 parallel to the boat. She carries an enormous sail, and goes 
 at a great pace, and can never capsize because, being pointed 
 fore and aft like a boy's tipcat, she can run either way, and
 
 BAEIA TO ST. VINCENT. 289 
 
 always has this sort of timber outrigged-deck to steady her 
 to leeward. 
 
 4.30 p.m. — We are overhauling the Liguria within the 
 twenty-four hours, as Mr. Ritchie promised we should. 
 She has been hanging on and trying to race us this three- 
 quarters-of-an-hour, but we are walking in "hand over 
 fist," as they say, though she is puffing and blowing and 
 making every effort to hold on to us. 
 
 5.30 p.m. — A five-masted American schooner on our star- 
 board beam. Mr. Ritchie has just put the Clyde up to sixty 
 revolutions per minute so as to shake off the Liguria, and 
 
 
 v^~ 
 
 '«'«jll«K$Slfe' »' ■'"■ 
 
 i; .-■<*S!«^ '"' : ':^^^ : .: ! 
 
 A Catamaran. 
 
 we are leaving her inch by inch, but quite perceptibly. As 
 the dinner-bell goes we are showing her a clean pair of heels. 
 
 8 p.m.— All dinner-time Mr. Ritchie was smiling and 
 glancing through the saloon port at the outstripped Liguria. 
 What a sell for the people on board of her ! She left Buenos 
 Aires two days before we did, and four friends of Mervin's 
 hurried off by her, thinking, of course, she would reach 
 Southampton before the Clyde. Yet 1 hear it is quite certain 
 we shall beat her by three days. 
 
 December 7th (Sunday).— 7 a.m. The night has been so 
 cool that with the port open I was glad to throw my rug 
 over me. This is something to remember, for in two hours 
 
 we cross the line. 
 
 u
 
 290 
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 9 a-m . — There goes the breakfast-bell, so I am actually 
 stepping out of the Southern into the Northern hemisphere 
 to breakfast. 
 
 11 a.m. — The Doctor and I have been having some fun 
 with Clark, Mr. Eitchie's black servant, a capital man and 
 wonderful at " cock-tail " making. Nothing like his brew 
 is obtainable on board. Like all good black servants, Clark 
 is scrupulously particular about the cleanliness of everything 
 he has in charge It is a religion with him, and Eitchie is 
 his deity, and anything of Eitchie's is sacred. I have over 
 and over again caught him talking to the things about the 
 cabin, as he dusted and polished them, as if they were 
 human. Imagine his feelings, then, when the Doctor and 
 I went in and, surveying the cabin, made, sotto voce, certain 
 suggestions for converting it into a temporary 
 menagerie " to relieve the dispensary," as we 
 said. I thought poor Clark would have had 
 a fit. He dared not speak, of course, because 
 we were careful not to address him, but he 
 fairly trembled with apprehension. And when, 
 speaking louder, we decided on having brackets 
 here and there for two parrots and three mar- 
 mosets, and utilizing the T-square and sword 
 (that sacred weapon) for perches (!), Clark went 
 giddy, and had to crawl out for a drink of 
 Duuifoundered. water. Poor Clark ! It is a shame to tease 
 him in this way, for he is really as simple and trusting as a 
 child ; ay, and as tender-hearted, I verily believe. 
 
 Noon.— Lit. 0° 51' N., long. 30° 51' W. Eun, 343 miles. 
 They had service in the saloon, but I was busy at Sunday 
 school with my parrots and marmosets, which take up a 
 great deal too much of my time.
 
 BAEIA TO ST. VINCENT. 291 
 
 It is a tax every day, I find, to keep pace with events, 
 first jotting them down in my note-book, and then elaborating 
 them; but I am determined to carry out my plan of employing 
 my leisure on the homeward voyage in doing it, otherwise 
 it will never be done at all, and I want a record of this 
 delightful cruise for myself, and perhaps for others — but 
 " that all depends." 
 
 This morning the Doctor was not at breakfast, and on 
 visiting him I found he had been up the greater part of the 
 night, attending a steerage passenger who is dying of heart- 
 disease. The regurgitations to the heart so paralyze it that 
 he is constantly at the point of death. He is a Portuguese 
 returning to his home ; and although, having made money, 
 he could afford to travel in a better class, he is " going steer- 
 age," as he says, so as to leave more money for his family. 
 
 Rather pathetic this forgetfulness of self at such a time. 
 But the sacrifice has its reward, for his illness has entitled 
 him to a berth in the hospital, an airy cabin where there are 
 eight beds— all happily empty — so that really he is better off 
 than if he had travelled second-class. There is poetic justice 
 about this poor man's case, so far, that pleases me thoroughly. 
 
 3.30 p.m. — At lunch we had Rio prawns, six inches long 
 and an inch-and-a-half thick, with antennae (samples of 
 which I have brought from the table as curiosities) measuring 
 over twelve inches long. They were delicious eating. 
 
 A Mr. Scott, who is returning to England after twenty- 
 two years in Rio, has just been singing us some solos from 
 Judas Maccabceus most beautifully. He has a rich, full 
 baritone, and can use it with great skill and taste, and is 
 quite up to professional form. He has long been accounted 
 the best singer in Rio. His stock of yarns, too, is simply 
 inexhaustible. I hear him at breakfast — he sits at the
 
 292 "BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 Purser's table, next to ours — keeping them constantly 
 supplied, and look or listen when you will, everybody at 
 his table is either laughing or nearly black in the face from 
 trying to restrain himself. This morning I heard him 
 telling of the French Missionary who, " understanding 
 English," addressed a Scotch congregation in the following 
 terms — I spell the words phonetically, just as they reached 
 me : " De tegs is tegen frum de furteth jebder uv de buke 
 uv Jeremie, end dee ninse vairse, ' Ken dee Ediopienne 
 changie eis kin, ou dee lay opard eis sports ? ' ' 
 
 8 p.m. — My vis-a-vis in the dining-saloon reminds me much 
 of my kind friend who sat in the same seat on the outward 
 voyage — not only possessing many of his characteristics, but 
 actually some of his mannerisms. He has a way of express- 
 ing doubt, for instance, that simply reproduces his alter ego. 
 The smile on one side of the mouth, the long slow pull at 
 the cigarette, the touch of the ash with the little finger, and 
 the gentle flick at the knee with the same finger to deftly 
 remove the speck that has caught in its fall, are all as eloquent 
 as words, that he is not quite of your opinion. So distinctly 
 is this feeling expressed, that I find myself answering the 
 evident objection without waiting for any audible assertion. 
 Both men have this peculiarity in common, both are im- 
 petuous, and both are right down good fellows, full of thought 
 for others, but apt to be precipitate and ill-timed even in 
 their kindliest actions. If it should ever fall to the lot of 
 either of these gentlemen to make an offer of marriage to a 
 lady, it is ten to one he will select the inopportune moment 
 when his divinity is bang in the middle of some sweet ballad, 
 the very burden of which had probably been selected — for such 
 devices are not unknown to the sex — to bring her lover to 
 her feet at the finish. But would — could any woman accept
 
 BAEIA TO ST. VINCENT. 
 
 293 
 
 a man suing in this abrupt and inconsiderate fashion ? Why, 
 it is as bad as laughing and trying to slope-off in the middle 
 of a man's best story ; neither man nor maiden can afford to 
 be treated so. 
 
 Or again, if you happened to say during the day that 
 you must get change for a sovereign, such is the brim- 
 ming good nature of this sort of man, that should he 
 wake in the night and remember your casual remark, and 
 find that he had twenty shillings or more — bless his kind 
 heart, you'd have it, never fear, if he had to count out the 
 
 Premature. " Mis .' t r Vavasseur, are you not 
 
 aware there is another verse? This abrupt 
 
 No, I cauuot, will not bear it ! " 
 
 money in the dark, ay, and if it came to his giving you 
 twenty-five shillings for your gold piece. There and then he 
 would walk the length of the ship or the hotel barefooted to 
 reach you, and would reach you too, if it involved breaking 
 open your door with a crowbar. " Here you are, old man," 
 he'd say, " don't bother to wake ; " and, shoving the twenty- 
 five shillings or so under your pillow, he'd leave you to give 
 him the sovereign whenever you thought of it, for he'd never 
 think of it again. That's Courtney, and that's my present 
 vis-a-vis. Both real grit, but, like milk, they boil over whuu
 
 294 
 
 " BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 you least expect it. One of them on one occasion — wild 
 horses shall not drag from me which — brought me a choice 
 cigar when I was fast asleep one morning at 1 a.m. ! and the 
 other pressed me hard to taste some marvellous brandy, of I 
 don't know what age, and worth £2 a bottle — before break- 
 fast ! Heaven save us from our friends ! It reminds me of 
 the fable of the elephant, who, having accidentally trodden 
 on and killed a partridge standing near her brood, turned to 
 her young ones, exclaiming, " Poor little orphans, I will be a 
 mother to you ! " and forthwith sat down upon them. 
 
 December 8th. — Awoke at 5 a.m. It was quite dark, 
 and remained so till nearly six o'clock, when the sun rose 
 languorously from a dark velvety couch and arrayed himself 
 in splendour. The fleecy speckled clouds hung like ermine 
 about his shoulders, while for a robe he wore a " sweet girl- 
 graduate " costume of grey and gold. As boys, we used 
 to be fond of the puzzling dynamical problem, to wit, 
 " What would happen if an irresistible force struck an im- 
 movable object ? " When the sun has such a tempting bed 
 to remain in, and such equally tempt- 
 ing raiment to induce him to rise, 
 he wisely compromises the matter, 
 and gets up late. Yesterday morn- 
 ing I saw him rise at four o'clock ; 
 this morning it was 5.40 a.m. before 
 he threw his coverlet from his bed, 
 and 5.50 when, having taken his 
 tub, he lifted his ruddy head over the 
 side of his bath and began to dress. 
 Just as I was finishing writing this 
 in my bunk, from which, through 
 the port, 1 could see him well, a small black cloud, one 
 
 " Arf seas over, yer wosliup 
 — is it to (hie) be (hie) 
 fine?"
 
 BABIA TO ST. VINCENT. 295 
 
 of a number at his right hand, came and stood before him 
 like a " drunk and incapable " before the magistrate. Was 
 he about to hear the night charges prior to commencing 
 the regular business of the day ? At first I thought so, for 
 that little black cloud had a sailor-like roll about him, as if 
 he had not quite slept-off the effects of the evening's diver- 
 sions. But on second thoughts, I incline to the idea that the 
 episode of the tiny cloud was a mere blind — literally, a blind 
 — to screen him from public gaze whilst he imbibed his 
 matutinal " cocktail," or " S-and-B." Well, I'm sure he 
 need not be ashamed ; no one in England would begrudge 
 him a cocktail, or a round dozen of them, if it would only 
 get him up in the morning. 
 
 Such a thing as sounding the bell twice on board ship for 
 the same half-hour is of the rarest occurrence, but somehow 
 they managed to oblige me with the experience this morning, 
 for " three bells " was sounded at 5.30 and again ten minutes 
 later. I hope the longitude has had nothing to do with it. 
 It was bad enough to have to shove your watch on every day 
 going out, but it is simply ruination to it to keep putting it 
 back as we have to now. It thoroughly upsets its digestion, 
 and leads to an attack of liver. I declare my watch begins 
 to look quite sallow in the face. 
 
 7.30 a.m. — We have just had our first, and I hope last, 
 burial at sea. The poor unselfish Portuguese died in the 
 night. His terrible sufferings are past, and " after life's fitful 
 fever he sleeps well " in his ocean grave. Our good honest 
 tars wound his body in sail-cloth with some fire-rods to weight 
 it, and laid it on a grating near the after-hatch, where they 
 had draped the bulwarks with the Union Jack. The Captain 
 read the funeral service, and at the solemn words " we there- 
 fore commit his body to the deep " the order was given to
 
 206 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 "let go," the end of the grating was lifted and the body 
 glided into the sea — the ship being slowed and turned slightly 
 from her course so as to clear the screw. Mr. Mervin tells 
 me that to this end on such occasions the " P. and 0." steamers 
 describe a complete circle. 
 
 Noon.— Lat. 6° 18' K, long. 28° 58' W. Pain, 348 miles. 
 
 The Doctor tells me that in the night an English steerage 
 passenger, foolishly lying near ah open hatch, rolled over and 
 fell to the deck below, where, dazed with his fall, he seems to 
 have turned over and actually fallen a second time into the 
 hold ! He is bleeding from the mouth, ears, and nose, and 
 only at intervals conscious. 
 
 3 p.m. — What a charming passage we are having ! The 
 sea is smooth as a lake, and the only wind is the breeze of 
 our own making as we spin along at the rate of eighteen or 
 nineteen miles an hour through the water. The sun is bright 
 and warm, but never too warm, and the flying-fish are flashing 
 about in every direction in shoals. St. Vincent the day after 
 to-morrow, and then good-bye to gossamer costumes and 
 flowers in the button-hole, out will come the overcoats, warm 
 j erseys, and gloves. Our ship was decked — good word " decked " 
 — with flowers for the last time at Pernambuco. My ferns 
 seem to have stood the changes so far bravely ; but a sort of 
 orchid I had set among them has faded away, and already I 
 find that three floral vultures in the shape of tiny spiders, 
 no bigger than large ants and with the most brilliant scarlet 
 bodies, are busy with its remains. 
 
 Speaking of flowers reminds me of a good story the Doctor 
 was telling the other night of an actress's admirer who 
 sent his fair goddess a boucpuet. Wanting to write four 
 appropriate lines, and finding himself stumped after inditing 
 two, he left his friend to add two more while he went behind
 
 BAHIA TO ST. VINCENT. 297 
 
 the scenes to the lady and cracked a bottle of champagne, a 
 liquor she loved not wisely but too well. In due course the 
 bouquet was flung to the dramatic star, the piece came to an 
 end, and the admirer took up his usual position at the stage- 
 door to receive the smiles of the adored one, when to his 
 horror the lady " cut him dead." 
 
 Talking the misadventure over after supper, the two 
 friends, as if by inspiration, both came to the same con- 
 clusion, that the lines must have had something to do with 
 the change in the fair one's demeanour. " Yet, why ? " said 
 the first, " I cannot divine ; all I wrote 
 was — 
 
 ' The violet lives within thine eye, 
 And in thy lip the rose.' " 
 
 " Well, it is curious," said the 
 other, " for all I added was — 
 
 ' And when in eye and lip they die, " All I added was— 
 
 They'll blossom in thy nose.' " 
 
 And — would you believe it ? — that trifling incident caused 
 a rupture between the two friends almost as bad as that 
 between the quondam lovers. So deep was the feeling, that 
 the writer of the first couplet left his brother author to pay 
 for the supper. Yet what else could a rhymester write, with 
 " die " to go with " eye," and " nose " with " rose " ? Thus 
 basely ever, doth one poet treat another ! 
 
 8 p.m. — This evening I had a talk with the Captain. He 
 likes the sea for himself now, but disapproves of it for his 
 children on account of the rough, and in some ways objection- 
 able, experiences of the early training which all must 
 undergo. I've often thought I shouldn't mind being a sailor 
 myself, if I could be gazetted " full captain " right off. But
 
 298 " EOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 no holy-stoning the deck for me. It makes your trousers bag 
 so at the knee. 
 
 December 9 th. — 10 a.m. — The reader may remember that 
 when at Monte Video I mentioned the exquisite complexions 
 of the women, which I said they owed mainly to the 
 marvellous purity of the water there. This morning I was 
 reminded of another important matter affecting the skin, 
 viz. soap. On our way out, a Uruguayan gave me a cake 
 of really wonderful stuff, which I have used ever since with 
 the result that my skin no longer resents shaving : and feels 
 like velvet — well, velveteen, any way. 
 
 The donor, moreover, told me the simple secret of its 
 preparation, and also a curious story about its inventor, a 
 Fred somebody. He was a friend of his, and came to 
 England, a wealthy man on pleasure bent. Unfortunately 
 his all was invested in Argentine securities, and being 
 unable, as they fell, to cut his coat according to his cloth, 
 he came to grief. If I ever give this soap to the world, 
 Fred's story shall enfold each cake. It will read somewhat 
 thus : — 
 
 URUGUAYAN SOAP. 
 
 I heard of one who, Fred by name, 
 
 Indulged in every hobby, 
 Spent money faster than it came, 
 
 And overran the Bobby. 
 
 He drank his fill of Pleasure's cup, 
 
 And gambled night and day, 
 Till, one fine morn, tliey sold him up, 
 
 And took his all away. 
 
 His head so swam at Fate's demands 
 
 With which he could not cope, 
 That when he went to wash his hands 
 
 He pocketed the soap.
 
 - BAHIA TO ST. VINCENT. 299 
 
 " What," say you, " will he do with it ? " 
 
 Well, Fred was wide awake, 
 And when you hear you will admit 
 
 His method " takes the cake." 
 
 Away he trudged to Regent's Park, 
 
 And stretched him ou a seat, 
 And evening fell, and it grew dark, 
 
 And he'd had nought to eat. 
 
 " Come, Uruguayan soap," he cried, 
 
 " Be thou in lieu of food ! " 
 And then a little bit he tried, 
 
 And found it very good. 
 
 As round his mouth a froth appeared 
 
 A gentleman came by, 
 Who looking, stopped, and said he feared 
 
 Our Fred was going to die. 
 
 A good Samaritan, and rich 
 
 (As such should be, I say), 
 He bore Fred to his mansion, which 
 
 Was just across the way. 
 
 He had one daughter, only one, 
 
 To leave his fortune to, 
 And so, the one thing to be done 
 
 Fred did — and so would you. 
 
 And thus the happy time went by, 
 
 She nursing him in tears. 
 And feeling that if Fred should die 
 
 Blank were all after years. 
 
 She wiped his lips, removed the soap, 
 
 Restored his vital powers, 
 And nursed him back to life, love, hope, 
 
 In four and twenty hours. 
 
 At length he found a chance to speak, 
 
 And as she bowed her head, 
 She let him kiss her blushing cheek — 
 
 — And now she's Mrs. Fred. 
 
 Doubtful Moral. 
 
 So you, who "rapid'' lives have led, 
 
 Need not abandon hope, 
 If you, like luckless, lucky Fred, 
 
 Use Uruguayan soap.
 
 300 "BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 If, later, for divorce you yearn, 
 
 That soap will loose your bands,* 
 Suggesting, of the whole concern 
 
 That you should " wash your hands." 
 
 Noon.— Lat. 11° 38' K, long. 27° 4' W. Run, 337 miles. 
 
 1 p.m. — Mr. Eitchie says we shall fetch St. Vincent 
 about this time to-morrow. It surprises me rather to find 
 how differently I am behaving at the ports coming home to 
 what I did on the outward voyage. For one thing, there is 
 less time. We did not stop more than three or four hours 
 at Bahia and Pernambuco. But fancy my not even going 
 ashore at the latter place. Well, I suppose the novelty of 
 the thing has worn off in some measure. Besides, I know 
 exactly what I should see, for there is a distinct limit to the 
 distance one can wander inland. Also and principally, the 
 facilities for landing at the Eecife are not good. There are 
 plenty of boats, and, for the matter of that, my good friend 
 the Purser, who of course always goes on shore everywhere, 
 would have let me accompany him most willingly. 
 
 No, none of these objections quite explain the circum- 
 stances. The real truth is, that my notes and their final 
 expansions occupy all my time (I was going to say my spare 
 time, and that would not be so very far out either, for I have 
 not only to take notes of the day's incidents but to write 
 up those of the day before — sometimes of many days before), 
 so that one way or another I am pretty constantly at work. 
 
 More than once, and more than one person, on our way 
 out thought I was a detective from seeing me so frequently 
 note-book in hand, though one would hardly have thought 
 that was quite the way for a detective to retain his incognito. 
 I have before me at this moment, a card of Mr. Graham's 
 that he sent me one day at dinner, on which he jokingly 
 * You loosen your wr/ai-bauds when you wash your hands. — C. C. A.
 
 BAEIA TO ST. VINCENT. 301 
 
 asks, in allusion to this suspicion, " whether what everybody 
 is saying, is true." 
 
 Fancy a detective hauling out his note-book every ten 
 minutes ! Though I'm not at all sure, when one comes to 
 think about it, that such conduct would be more absurd 
 than that of his superiors who shoe their police with heavy 
 boots, teach them a measured stride, and train their move- 
 ments with the exactness of trains, so that a burglar not 
 wanting to catch them, or rather to be caught by them, 
 knows to a nicety where not to go. 
 
 One is reminded of the song which a rather daring young 
 
 damsel is supposed to sing — let us hope in confidence — to 
 
 a friend — 
 
 " There's a path by the river o'ershadowed by trees, 
 Where people may walk and iray talk at their ease, 
 And save by a bird not a sound can be heard, 
 So do not come there, if you please, if you please, 
 So do not come there, if you please." 
 
 The policeman's conduct is so considerate, that one would 
 hardly be surprised to hear him singing something of tins 
 kind confidentially to the merry burglar 
 on his beat — 
 
 "There's a crib near the river, o'ershadowed by 
 trees, 
 Where the cracksman can practise his trade at 
 
 his ease, 
 And never a word or a sound can be heard, 
 So do not come there, if you please," etc. 
 
 8 p.m. — We have just met the Pacific « So do not come there, 
 __. , . , if you please ! " 
 
 s.s. Portisea, from St. Vincent, which 
 
 signalled us with two white, two red, and two green rockets. 
 
 As she passed us in a full blaze of electric light, I thought 
 
 her an imposing and beautiful object, and the signals in the 
 
 darkness were extremely effective.
 
 302 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 Yarning has been the order of the evening in Mr. Ritchie's 
 cabin. Our host, expostulating with one yarner who was 
 rather over-drawing the long bow, used the phrase, " One 
 must draw the line somewhere ; " without a moment's pause 
 the speaker hit out with, " Line ! We crossed that some days 
 ago, my dear sir," and went straight on with his story. 
 
 December 10th. — 8 a.m. I had my parrot in my cabin, and 
 he woke me by climbing from his improvised perch to the 
 open port, where he set up a scream that, coming from him 
 in such a position, nearly slew me on the spot. There was 
 the little wretch, standing on the very brink of a watery 
 grave, and crowing and bobbing with his beak and flapping 
 his wings in an ecstasy of delight as he watched the waves 
 roll by. Vine must have frightened him when he brought 
 my cocoa and slice of bread-and-butter at 7 a.m., I suppose. 
 Any way, presence of mind was, I felt, the only tiling to save 
 him. What a marvellous gift is self-possession ! I remember 
 a fellow once saying how flurried he felt when, a lady enter- 
 ing, he had to offer her his chair. " Ah ! " said another who 
 w r as present, " that's because you are clumsy in your way 
 of offering your chair, that's all. You should lay it on thick 
 and say, ' May I offer you my chair ? Do allow me — any 
 chair suits me — indeed I don't care for an easy-chair at all,' 
 and that sort of thing. Pave the way well, you know." " I 
 do," said the other ; " that's just the kind of thing I always 
 say — it's when I get up out of the chair that I am done." 
 " Get up ! " exclaimed the other. " Oh, if you do that, mv 
 dear fellow, what can you expect ? You must never do that. 
 What I suggested must be said sitting or half-sitting, with 
 the hands on the elbows of the chair. To get up and out of 
 the chair is fatal — fatal to self-possession especially." 
 
 But I've left my " Che " far too long on that port. Acting
 
 BAEIA TO ST. VINCENT. 303 
 
 on this worldly advice, I did not get up either ; I simply took 
 my bread-and-butter (my hands shaking with the severe 
 discipline I was giving them, so that they tore the slice in 
 half), and sipped my cocoa with it, and anxiously awaited 
 events with my heart choking me with its violent throbbing. 
 In misery I finished my meal, hoping and hoping every 
 moment that " Che " would be tempted by the bread-and- 
 butter, of which he is very fond. No— all no use ; there he 
 bobbed and fluttered just the same. Then a bright thought 
 struck me, and I went on deck above him to take him in 
 flank— tied my hat to a string, dropped it over the side, and 
 flapped it at him. But it was no good ; nothing came of it 
 but screams, " only that and nothing more." Still I perse- 
 vered, feeling convinced it was the only way. At last, all 
 on a sudden, the screams ceased. Guessing the cause I flew 
 below, upsetting myself and everybody else on my way, and 
 only arresting my wild career as I neared my cabin door. 
 This I opened most stealthily, and glanced at the port. Not 
 there! At one glance I scanned the entire cabin — here, 
 there, high, low, everywhere. He was nowhere to be seen ! 
 In sorrow I had to accept the only explanation, that when 
 his voice ceased, my poor " Che " must have taken his death- 
 plunge ! And now I half blamed myself for going on deck 
 with the string, for I found Vine had in the interval fetched 
 away my cup and plate, and it was his entering perhaps that 
 had lost me my bird. I had got so far in my musings when 
 " Che's" well-known voice fell upon my grateful ear from his 
 own little bunk, made out of an old hatbox. At that moment, 
 too, in came Vine, and I heard all about it. He had come 
 in, seen "Che's" dangerous position, and quietly replaced 
 him in his bunk. Presence of mind, it seems, may display 
 itself actively or passively; Vine's took the active only,
 
 304 
 
 HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 while mine took both forms. But mine was not what you 
 would call a success, and I was still more ashamed of it when, 
 on examining " Che," I found him tied safely by a long string 
 to his box. In my fright I had quite forgotten about the string, 
 which I myself had fastened to him only the day before ! 
 
 My needless anxiety reminds me of the case of a man who, 
 after dining rather too well at a friend's, had to. cross Hyde 
 Park to get home. Whether the blanc-mange had been 
 
 made too strong, or he was 
 overpowered by the joint 
 effects of the cigarette and 
 the cool air, we are not 
 told, but he found himself 
 in the dark, holding on to 
 one of the railings that 
 surround and protect the 
 trees. Feeling his way 
 round and round, and find- 
 ing no opening, he at 
 length came to the con- 
 clusion that he was in jail, 
 and screaming for help there presently came to his aid a 
 constable, whom he attempted to bribe, at first with a shilling 
 only, to set him free. The story goes that, rising to the 
 occasion, the policeman did eventually let him out for half-a- 
 crown, and saw him safely home, where he received another. 
 Who shall say now — 
 
 " Stone walls do not a prison make, 
 Nor iron bars a cage " ? 
 
 11 a.m. — We have just sighted San Antonio and are enter- 
 ing the group of islands (Cape Verde), of which, it will be 
 remembered, St. Vincent is of chief importance. 
 
 Let me out ! "
 
 BAEIA TO ST. VINCENT. 305 
 
 12.30 p.m. — We are at anchor, and the divers are already 
 busily plying for employment. Everybody on board is 
 throwing his loose silver into the sea for the pleasure of see- 
 ing how cleverly it is recovered, long, long before it reaches 
 the bottom. Indeed, the human body sinks so much faster 
 than the coin, that the one catches up the other with great 
 rapidity. You can rarely count as much as ten seconds 
 before the diver's head reappears above the water ; and the 
 money is always stowed in his cheek. I timed one chap 
 who, for two shillings, went in on one side of the Clyde and 
 came out on the other. He was only twenty-eight seconds. 
 
 The Stuttgardt (North German Lloyd) is here, and pre- 
 paring to start. She left Buenos Aires three days before us. 
 
 2.30 p.m.— She has just started, and the Uruguay is also 
 getting up steam. It is nice being in a vessel like the Clyde 
 that can give all these so many points. We shall overhaul 
 them both in the night. 
 
 This morning there was a row between the Portuguese 
 steerage passengers and an Englishman of the third-class. 
 (We can only call him " third-class " on board, there being- 
 no lower grade, but thirty-third would be nearer his mark 
 on shore.) I heard the former, in the person of a rugged, 
 weather-beaten, grey-bearded mariner-sort-of-chap, debating 
 the case with our Captain, Chief Officer, maitre d'hotel, 
 etc. The " thirty-third class " scoundrel seems to have 
 assaulted the Portuguese (who are a very long-suffering 
 class) most brutally. In the end the ruffian was " put in 
 irons," as they always call placing a man under restraint 
 aboard ship. 
 
 Over and over again have I heard it said by first one 
 officer, then another, that a thousand Portuguese give less 
 trouble than two third-class English passengers. The airs 
 
 x
 
 306 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 the English of this class give themselves are positively 
 comic in their audacity. The Doctor has just confirmed this 
 remark by an apt illustration our present voyage afforded. 
 He has had great difficulty, he tells me, on this homeward 
 trip with a busybody Englishman of the third-class, who has 
 been constituting himself spokesman and champion of any 
 and everybody's grievances since we started. In the interests 
 of another third-class passenger this morning " Mr. Busy- 
 body" presented himself at the Doctor's cabin and, over- 
 reaching all the rest, there before him, insisted that he 
 should come at once and see and prescribe for the sufferer ; 
 and, on the Doctor declining to take cases out of their turn, 
 the meddler reported him to the Captain. 
 
 4 p m — i used to wonder whence we English inherited 
 our great administrative ability in other people's affairs, till 
 I recently came upon an American song entitled, " The 
 English are the Heirs of Kings," which accounts of course 
 for the regal airs we give ourselves. All I can say is, if I'm 
 the heir to a kingdom, I'm deeply grateful to the man who 
 has usurped my exalted position. 
 
 A NOBODEE. 
 
 The boy that swings upon a gate 
 
 And envies no one, small or great, 
 
 Why is it that we make him sing, 
 
 " Hooray ! I'm happy as a King " ? 
 
 A Prince might swing upon a gate, 
 
 But not a King, at any rate. 
 
 If ever you should tempt a King 
 
 To get upou a gate and swing, 
 
 'Twould be a very scurvy trick. 
 
 His Highness would, of course, be sick ; 
 
 And then (as biters oft get bit) — 
 
 Why, you might have to " swing for it." 
 
 Happy, as what ? A King ?— Poor chappie ! 
 
 They've not made yet the King that's happy.
 
 BAIIIA TO ST. VINCENT. 307 
 
 Uneasy to a head's a crown. 
 No wonder, for you can't lie down. 
 Why, sleeping in a stove-pipe hat 
 Is awkward, for you can't lie fiat. 
 But stop; no more upon that head — 
 I'll get a cup of tea, iustead. 
 One warning word, before I go. 
 Pray, take things easy here below. 
 Go get upon Life's gate and swing, 
 And don't attempt to be a King. 
 Would you in life and death be free ? 
 Then live and die "a nobodee" !
 
 308 " HOW I FOUND'' HEALTH. 
 
 CHAPTER XL 
 
 ST. VINCENT TO LISBON. 
 
 5.50 p.m. — We are weighing anchor, and moving off just 
 as the sun is setting in a flood of gold away behind the 
 mountains that hem in this quiet harbour and most con- 
 venient oasis between America and home. The giant head 
 that some call Wellington, others Washington, and others 
 still Napoleon, and that lies face-upwards on the mountain- 
 tops directly behind the lighthouse, is looking its very best, 
 its features radiant with the glow of an amethyst sky. How 
 beautiful even these arid hills look, glorified by the setting 
 sun, as it tones down all their ruggedness and enriches their 
 simple garbs of lichen and sand. No one could fail to be 
 struck with their charm to-night. 
 
 But, as I write, the light is fading from the sky, and the 
 hills and valleys and the boundless sea into which we are 
 moving are sinking; into shadow which in five minutes will 
 have ' deepened into the blackest of palls. Then out will 
 spring the stars in their thousands, as though the cloak of 
 heaven had fallen upon the earth, revealing the blue velvet 
 cushion studded with diamonds which is the jewel-casket 
 of the gods. 
 
 It is all so magical in these latitudes. Almost theatrical,
 
 ST. VINCENT TO LISBON. 311 
 
 for one can hardly believe that these grand transformations 
 are all unrehearsed.* 
 
 8 p.m. — Shipping only a hundred and four tons of coal at 
 St. Vincent I find took us five hours and-a-half ! It is much 
 cooler ; so cool, indeed, that standing on deck before dinner 
 in my thin tropical flannels was chilly work, and, for the first 
 time since leaving the old country, I was glad of the hot 
 soup, and actually enjoyed getting into my black clothes for 
 the stately meal, because they were thicker and warmer. 
 
 Now that I am clothed in and out, however, I find the 
 breeze on deck delicious, just perfect — neither too hot nor 
 too cold. 
 
 11 p.m. — We have been lying hour after hour on deck, 
 Mervin and I, thoroughly enjoying the soft evening air and 
 the calm of the deep blue skies. He has travelled much, and 
 is most excellent company. To my mind also there is 
 something very infectious about the hilarity and exuberant 
 enjoyment of youth. It is so in earnest in everything. To 
 see Mervin spring out of his chair at the sound of the dinner- 
 bell almost makes me hungry, and to hear him sparkle and 
 bubble over with delight at the prospect of seeing old 
 England again, and at the joys of the coming Christmas 
 festivities, etc., makes one feel a positive veneration for fog 
 and indigestion. One man on board, who had been long in 
 the tropics, said it was delightful to him to think that at 
 last he was going to a country where " Eeckitt " couldn't 
 advertise his patent colour all over the sky. 
 
 December 11th. — 8 a.m. As to-morrow will probably be 
 the end of summer for me this year, I dressed in my flannels 
 for the last time, and went on deck to meet the sun on what 
 
 * A friend has reminded me that these effects are not "unrehearsed;" 
 they have had a " run " of an infinite number of nights. — C. C. A.
 
 312 
 
 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 may prove his P. P. C. visit. It is well sometimes not to be 
 the first to recognize any change that one may see pending : 
 so I dressed lightly and brightly, and pretended not to under- 
 stand that any serious breach of our hitherto cordial relations 
 was about to occur between that luminary and myself. 
 Never go to meet a quarrel. 
 
 It may sound strange to the sceptical, but a friend assures 
 me — and I'm not going to disbelieve a friend because his 
 experience is not mine — that he has often staved-off a wet 
 day by putting out ready overnight a light summer suit. 
 That's his first plan. _ The approach 
 amicable. If the evening continues 
 lowering he tries a demonstration — (the 
 safest position, next to being the clerk - 
 of-the-weather's friend, is to let him see 
 you are prepared for other events) — 
 and hangs out of window his mackin- 
 tosh, goloshes, and umbrella. This 
 generally has the desired effect, and 
 all is well again. " The approach 
 amicable " answered in my case, for old 
 Sol has been literally beaming all over 
 his face. He hadn't the heart to be 
 the first to break up our merry summer 
 party, while our costume spoke so clearly our hopes of his 
 " continued countenance and support," as the grocers say. 
 Noon.— Lat 20° 21' K, long. 22 D 54' W. Bun, 240 miles. 
 The weather is grand — bright and cool — and the sea so 
 smooth that there is hardly any perceptible motion even 
 here in my cabin where I am writing, quite in the bows, 
 where the slightest dip or roll is sure to be felt at once. My 
 parrot is getting very tame, and goes with me everywhere, 
 
 The demonstration 
 in force.
 
 ST. VINCENT TO LISBON. 313 
 
 standing on the crown of my soft felt hat, whistling to his 
 heart's content. He also permits me to carry him covered 
 up in my coat — the way the organ-grinder carries his monkey 
 — as, out of the cabin, he feels the cold. The Doctor, after 
 getting four bites from his Papa-gayo, determined to chloro- 
 form the gentleman this morning, and clip his treacherous 
 beak — Mervin and I assisting. There was nothing else to 
 be done if he intended keeping the brute, for he was horribly 
 vicious. Only yesterday he bit my finger to the bone. We 
 gave him the anaesthetic on a towel, gagged him with a 
 pencil, and then clipped a shred off both the upper and 
 lower portions of the beak. "Hounding the Horn" — the 
 Doctor called it. The little fellow remained perfectly drunk, 
 and incapable of standing, till we brought him to with a 
 bottle of salts (ammonia). He bit me the very moment he 
 recovered consciousness, but not in the old deadly fashion. 
 
 8 p.m. — Before I forget it I must record some of 
 the humours of last night's dinner, an impromptu, by Mr. 
 Mervin. We had a private dish of " sturgeons' roes " 
 (caviare) that was a little bit " off colour." " New reading," 
 said the irrepressible jokist ; "the rocs by any other name 
 would smell as sweet." Then some of them proceeded to 
 criticise the menu in most unmerciful fashion. The truth 
 is that, during coaling, the galleys are covered up with 
 canvas, to exclude the black dust that makes its way through 
 every crack and crevice, and so, the cooks having to work 
 in the dark, things are not so good as usual. Allowing 
 themselves full poetical licence, the grumblers relieved their 
 feelings in a way that caused the rest of us almost to 
 rejoice at the annoyance that had produced so much sport. 
 These are some of the audible comments that caught one's 
 ear every now and then. " Soup ! Ugh ! consomme au
 
 314 "BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 charbon ! " " Fish ! Bah ! Fried eggs and butter with coarse 
 starboard side of haddock boiled in sea-water ! " " Hunks 
 of duck with bits of feather-beds still sticking out of them 
 through the greasy mud they call sauce ! " Then followed 
 the meat — " Thick slices of porpoise hide ! " muttered one. 
 " Stood in water," said another, " like boots in a shop- 
 window, to prove they're waterproof;" and so on. One 
 fellow, out of pure cussedness, at the end of the meal called 
 the steward, and without moving a muscle, calmly ordered 
 "tea, bread-and-butter, and a brace of eggs," as if he had 
 had no dinner. 
 
 December 12th. — 8 a.m. Thinking over last night's grum- 
 blings at dinner, I have come to the conclusion that if one 
 would keep well and even-tempered on board ship, one must 
 not eat all the meals provided. A heavy meal at nine 
 o'clock, another at one, and a third — heavier than either — 
 at six o'clock, are too much for any one limited to the 
 exercise the ship affords. And as a result, men become 
 liverish and fastidious. Then, too, the complainers are 
 generally those who do not go ashore, and so are exposed 
 to all the discomforts of the coaling. The fine dust settles 
 on the bulwarks, so that they can't hang over the sides 
 of the vessel, and falls on their flannels or white costumes. 
 
 Well, to a certain extent, it is a drawback to the enjoy- 
 ment of the cruise if you stop on board ; but then, those I 
 am addressing would not stop on board, and so would not 
 get liverish for want of exercise, and would not, therefore, 
 complain of the dinners. So there's an end of the matter. 
 If they get liverish in spite of going on shore everywhere 
 and taking a brisk three-mile walk on deck every day, then 
 there is only one thing to be done. " Walk more and eat 
 less," as Abernethy used to advise his patients to do.
 
 ST. VINCENT TO LISBON. 315 
 
 The weather is perfect, the increasing cold being so gradual 
 you can hardly perceive it. The sea is absolutely as calm 
 as the most indifferent sailor could wish. I want to know 
 where that cyclone and Pampero are coming in, that the 
 Company almost promised me would be included in my 
 return-ticket. If they don't come off, I shall have to apply 
 for a rebate of a five-pound note or so. A trip of this kind 
 without a Pampero is fiat as a honeymoon without a tiff. 
 
 Nom.— Lat. 25° 3' K, long. 20° 26' W. Pain, 315 miles. 
 Las Palmas, 261^ miles. 
 
 The Chief Officer has kindly promised to get me a cage 
 made to take my little "Che" home in. All the poor 
 marmosets are dead, and now it is the parrots' turn. They 
 all begin to die off as soon as you pass Teneriffe, or Las 
 Palmas, at this time of year. 
 
 3 p.m. — We have been watching one of the prettiest 
 sights to be noticed over the side of a ship — the rainbows 
 in the spray. Going at the pace we do, the rollers are cut 
 by the bows and thrown into the air some ten or twelve feet 
 high, whence the water falls in fine spray which is blown 
 into still finer particles by the force of the breeze we make. 
 As it falls before you, and the sun shines on it from behind 
 you, the rainbow effects are charming, and one never seems 
 to weary of watching the constant play of colour, and 
 listening to the music of the ever-falling waters. 
 
 8 p.m. — Mr. Eitchie has a capital dodge when any one 
 proposes " a gamble " — which is not an uncommon thing — 
 to see who shall pay for liqueurs after dinner. It is called 
 " honest quaker." Say there are five persons — the numbers 
 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, are written on a card. Then some one starts by 
 writing one of them on the back, unseen by the other persons 
 concerned. Say he puts the figure 5. Now the others have
 
 316 " HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 each to strike out a figure on the face of the card. If 
 anybody strikes out the 5, he is the victim ; if not, and the 
 others amongst them strike out the 1, 2, 3, and 4, then the 
 starter who placed the 5 on the card's back has to defray 
 whatever the cost may be. 
 
 One incident to-day should not escape notice. Two 
 gentlemen on board bought monkeys at Pernambuco. One 
 is in a cage and the other loose. This morning both were 
 brought on deck for sun and air. The loose one is a little 
 lady and suffers much from the cold, so no sooner did she 
 espy the other than she made straight for his warm-looking 
 cage, and sat closely up to it, chattering through the bars 
 as if begging for shelter. Unmaidenly, perhaps, but certainly 
 not unnatural. The poor prisoner, a gentleman, seemed 
 quite touched with this little attention, and replied most 
 plaintively to her petition. "You see how it is," he 
 seemed to say, " I am not my own master ; even this den 
 is only mine to stop in, not to leave. If only I were free ! " 
 This quite overcame the lady, and she kissed him through 
 the bars, and he put both his arms out and held her to 
 his heart in true lover style. After a while, the thought 
 occurred to him that perhaps his visitor had not lunched, 
 and with many squeaky apologies — 
 no doubt eloquent of love for the lady 
 — he drew in his arms and selecting 
 some of his many dainties, fed her 
 through the rails of his cage, crack- 
 ing nuts, and never eating one him- 
 self, but handing every kernel as he 
 "Romeo and Juliet." 
 
 got it to his companion. 
 
 We watched them for quite twenty minutes in this peace- 
 ful tete-a-tete, and then the respective owners let them meet
 
 ST. VINCENT TO LISBON. 317 
 
 in freedom. Ever since, they have remained on the same 
 loving terms, but he having now twined both arms and legs 
 around the shivering little creature, it has devolved on her 
 to feed him, and this she does. 
 
 9 p.m. — The owners have just parted them for the night. 
 It was quite a Eomeo and Juliet balcony-scene between them 
 at the last, and they played it with more " go " — no joke 
 intended on the severance — than many actors I have seen. 
 Indeed, this is a drama in real life, for it is death to Juliet to 
 part from the warmth of Eomeo — and he and the lady both 
 seem to know it too. If they had been mine I should have 
 left them together. To-morrow we pass Teneriffe, which is 
 the region where parrots and monkeys begin to feel the chills, 
 and they die off like flies. These monkey lovers seemed to 
 know they were approaching their " tomb of the Capulets." 
 
 December 13th. — 6A5 a.m. We are passing Las Palmas as 
 the sun is rising, Teneriffe lying in the morning haze to the 
 eastward. Going on deck, I found we were abreast of the 
 island, which seemed to me to be in two pieces, but I suppose 
 the cleft is really only a deep indent. There were few signs 
 of vegetation up the sides of the mountains, a long range of 
 which runs from end to end of the island. Their crests are 
 clothed with palms, which showed up grandly against the 
 brightening eastern sky, and formed a fretted skyline fringing 
 the peaks and bluffs with a wonderful kind of lace-edging. 
 Here and there a white square stone house on the mountain- 
 side, or peeping over that parapet from the crown of an inner 
 range, looked out to seaward. But, though we passed within 
 a mile of the shore, nothing else was observable, for the 
 town is on the other side of the island. 
 
 10 a.m. — It was very cold standing about on deck in one's 
 pyjamas this morning, so I was glad to go down, turn in again,
 
 318 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 and drink the cocoa Vine brought me at 7 a.m. Yet now 
 after breakfast, when the sun has gained a little power, I am 
 wearing the same clothes as yesterday, flannels, and find 
 them quite sufficient. My parrot, too, is clearly well content 
 with the warmth, for he is singing on the top of my hat as I 
 walk about in the sun. The pretty note he had the first day 
 disappeared with the cooler weather, and has only to-day 
 returned in quite its pristine purity. It is the sweetest, 
 rlutiest thing in whistles I have ever heard. 
 
 Mr. Eitchie has given me a couple of sapodillas, a sort of 
 sleepy pear in flavour, and in appearance like a shrivelled 
 russet apple, and " Che " is eating one on my head. He looks 
 upon my sombrero as far more his than mine. As I write, 
 in Eitchie's cabin, I can see the little fellow — in the glass — 
 standing in the very centre of the top of my head on one 
 leg, the sapodilla in his other foot — or hand, one ought to call 
 it, for the parrot uses it more like a hand than a foot. It is 
 funny to see how he manages to balance himself as the ship 
 rolls, which she does a little and with great regularity. He's 
 a clever little chap ! 
 
 Noon.— Lat. 29° 40' N., long. 17° 19' W. Bun, 329 miles. 
 
 This is a better run than yesterday, and directly the 
 Captain found what we had done, he asked the Chief 
 Engineer to put the engines back a bit, or we should be in 
 Lisbon too soon. Last trip the Clyde got home two days 
 before her time, and though on that occasion the irregularity 
 was forgiven on the ground that it was her first trip, and so 
 a trifle of zeal might be excused, the directors gave distinct 
 instructions that it was not to be repeated. 
 
 Among those on board, to whom the sea is but a highway 
 from home to business or what not, the knowledge that the 
 ship's speed is being, deliberately slackened is doubtless very
 
 ST. VINCENT TO LISBON. 
 
 310 
 
 galling. To me, on the other hand, the longer she takes the 
 better. I wanted a sea trip, and shall never quarrel with the 
 Company for giving me brimming measure for my money. 
 There are some very wealthy men on board, and two of them 
 have tried to induce the Captain to let her run full pace. Each 
 will give £100 for the extra coal, if that is of any moment ; 
 but of course it is not. The Company must keep faith with 
 the public, and run their ships as far as possible to fit in with 
 the times advertised. 
 
 8 p.m. — There is the strongest of all inducements to the 
 Captain to get in as early as he dares, for it is just touch- 
 and-go whether he and all the officers and crew will spend 
 Christmas Eve in England or not. As I have said before, 
 the Clyde goes on to Antwerp, and if she only reaches 
 Southampton on the 20th, the date she is due there, as she 
 practically takes two days 
 to and from and stays 
 three days in Antwerp, she 
 will not return to South- 
 ampton before Christinas 
 Day. 
 
 This is the all-absorbing 
 topic on board just now 
 with everybody, from the 
 highest to the lowest, and 
 I'm cpiite satisfied that a 
 
 good deal will be risked in the way of blame in order to 
 accomplish the universal heart's desire, to gather in the old 
 home and on the old soil, beneath the mistletoe-bough and 
 the red-berried holly, to sing old songs and tell old stories 
 to the crackling of the Yule-tide log, and among the smiles 
 and voices of those who are dear to us. 
 
 Jack ashore, at Christmas.
 
 320 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 December 14th {Sunday) — 8 a.m. I can hear the organ 
 going. They were practising last night, and are evidently at 
 it again now, for the full choral service that has been 
 promised. There are eight or ten fine voices on board, and 
 three o;entlemen at least who would take high rank anvwhere 
 as vocalists, having good and well-cultivated voices. But oh S 
 I can hear we are going to have " Onward, Christian soldiers," 
 our old friend of the voyage out. Now, it's all very well for 
 the choir to get this up and produce it by themselves, but 
 what will the sailors do with it ? 
 
 I was once at a picnic on the banks of the Thames, where 
 the white cloth and the viands, and the ensemble of the ladies' 
 toilets, and the airy costumes of the sturdy boating-men made 
 a very lovely picture. Suddenly a boat with some friends of 
 ours put in close by us, and following it on shore came a 
 huge, wet, shaggy, St. Bernard puppy, who, knowing us all, 
 made straight for our dainty circle. " Fido ! Fido ! " every- 
 body cried — for all knew and liked the dog — " Come along ! 
 Come along ! Good boy ! Good dog ! " and so on. Thinking, 
 I suppose, they all meant what they said, Fido, nothing loth, 
 did " come along ; " and, fully believing his hosts wished to 
 make him as happy as themselves, plunged and floundered 
 headlong after the manner of puppy -kind into the well-spread 
 table and among the lobster-salad, jellies, and jam, much 
 of which he carried among the ladies' dresses. " Oh, what an 
 alteration ! " as some one sings. In a moment, no word of 
 reproach was strong enough to describe Fido and all his 
 works. It was only by pelting him with every article we 
 could lay our hands on that we could drive him off. Such 
 a wreck as he and we made of it all in ten seconds I have 
 never seen before nor since. It beat all records. 
 
 Much the same sort of thing will happen to this prim,
 
 ST. VINCENT TO LISBON. 
 
 321 
 
 trim, hymn, I suspect, when the jolly tars get, so to say, into 
 the thick of it. Well, anyhow, I dare not trust myself to be 
 present at their rendering of it with their favourite fo'cas'le 
 song. It stands out in my memory as one of the funniest 
 things I ever heard in my life. Alas, poor ladies and gentle- 
 men of the choir, you know not what is in store for you ! 
 
 Noon.— Lat. 33° 49' K, long. 13° 32' W. Eun, 316 miles. 
 
 3 p.m. — Somebody, it seems, put the authorities up to the 
 little difficulty about the hymn, so we sang the same words 
 to a different tune, and all went well. 
 
 fc \wkw 
 
 ■ A dream of fair women." " The Angel Choir " and their guardian. 
 
 There is a family of seven girls going to England with us. 
 They are entirely by themselves, I hear, having lost their 
 mother through yellow fever, that deadly scourge of Rio, where 
 their father still continues in business. They all sit together 
 at a table just below me, and are all dressed in white, and 
 have for this reason, and their love of music, obtained the 
 name of " The Angel Choir." At the head of their table sits 
 a very staid young gentleman of perhaps two and twenty, 
 also, I hear, a native of and resident in Eio, who is in a way 
 both father and mother to them on board, attentive without 
 
 Y
 
 32 4 2 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 demonstration, and discreet without diffidence. Exerting the 
 gentlest influence with the very best results, he keeps his 
 little flock together far better than many of his elders could ; 
 and somehow contrives to make them happy, I should say, 
 for their table seems always merry without noise. He is 
 familiarly known as " The Guardian Angel." 
 
 He seems to manage his little lambs with the ease and 
 tact of the collie dog — one little "wow," and in come the 
 stragglers. If ever he should want a testimonial as to his 
 fitness for conducting a nunnery on new principles, or a 
 boarding-house for young ladies, "with all the comforts of 
 home-life," I know two or three on board who will certify 
 him. 
 
 8 p.m. — The wind has been freshening and the sea is 
 running rather high, foreboding queer weather in the Bay. 
 On these occasions it is comical to notice the behaviour of 
 the elderly lady I mentioned once before, who is " never 
 nervous, because always prepared." There is no ostentation 
 about her, but she is evidently determined to be " on the 
 spot," and ready for any emergency. But while wistfully 
 eyeing the officers as they pass her on the deck, she never 
 troubles them with questions. She appears to have no con- 
 fidence whatever in her husband in regard to the appliances 
 for safety in case of disaster at sea, much preferring the 
 opinions, good, bad, or indifferent, of any one else on board. 
 Perhaps the best and briefest summary of her temperament 
 is the one a friend has just given me, but it is not, I regret 
 to say, any too complimentary — "self-willed and fickle- 
 minded." 
 
 The ungallant author of this libellous (though I believe 
 accurate) diagnosis has been telling me of an old lady 
 on one of his voyages, who in bad weather used to take her
 
 ST. VINCENT TO LISBON. 323 
 
 seat near a certain boat, which she invariably referred to 
 as " iny lifeboat." At such times her bulk would be nearly 
 twice that of other days, owing to the number of dresses she 
 would have on, so as " to be prepared," like our friend now 
 on board. With her, however, preparedness had been ele- 
 vated into a fine art, for she had always in her lap a basket 
 of provisions and a Bible. He adds that though at other 
 times a pretty regular attendant at meals, on no other occa- 
 sions did she ever appear with her Bible. She too, which 
 was much to her credit, never troubled the Captain, as some 
 less nervous ladies do when the clouds gather, except one 
 day when things looked unusually black. On this particular 
 day she had evidently settled in her own mind that they 
 would all have to take to the boats. And what on earth do 
 you think she said to the Captain at this awful crisis ? " I 
 would not ask you if it were a mere question of comfort," 
 she said, " but, you know, it acts also as a life preserver ; " 
 and then she produced and asked him to inflate for her an 
 air-cushion! You will observe that I have used only one 
 note of exclamation there. I'll tell you why : because I want 
 three for my next remark, viz. and he did ! ! ! All I can say 
 is, that captain was a gentleman, and all I will add to that 
 statement is, that I know his name and shall ever remember 
 it with respect. For so obliging a man, the name was 
 singularly appropriate : " Captain Grant." 
 
 So here's a health to Captain Grant, 
 Not only gallant, hut gallant. 
 
 It is only the really great who are brave enough to do these 
 little services. The incident deserves to rank with the well- 
 known toad story of Wellington. The Duke seeing a little 
 boy crying on his return to boarding-school, inquired and 
 found that his grief was caused by having to leave a pet
 
 324 "SOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 toad at home. "All right, my little man," said the hero of a 
 hundred fights, " I'll look after him." This story I have 
 heard described as apocryphal, and began to think it so 
 myself until recently, when I came across one of the many 
 autograph bulletin letters the boy from time to time received. 
 It ran somewhat thus : " Field-Marshal the Duke of Welling- 
 ton begs to inform Master that his toad is quite well." 
 
 Oh, these little things ! Some one somewhere, and somehow 
 I cannot quote, has said that, " to do great things," 
 
 " Seldom to man is given : 
 But little things on little wings, 
 Bear little souls to heaven." 
 
 As soldiers, many of us have pride enough to keep us from 
 risking a bullet in the back, and dash enough even to blow 
 up a magazine. But how about blowing up that old lady's 
 air cushion ? 
 
 December 15th. — 8 a.m. The weather is bright, but much 
 colder. I took my usual cold bath, but it will be my last 
 this year. It cut like knives. It has been a rough night, 
 too, and the ship rolled and pitched heavily. And once again 
 the cable rattled and struck such sledge-hammer blows 
 every now and then, that sleep was perfectly impossible. 
 At last I sent a Quarter-master to the Second Officer on the 
 bridge, and in five minutes they had wedged the cable, and 
 all was silent. It is greatly to the praise of the officers of 
 tins ship, that the moment any complaint is made, the thing- 
 objected to is, if possible, remedied, and with the greatest 
 willingness. Politeness could be carried no further than it 
 is on board the Clyde. One is reminded of the complaisant 
 Frenchman, who exclaimed, when a lady asked him to do 
 her a favour : " Madame, if it is possible, it is done. If it is 
 impossible, it shall be done."
 
 ST. VINCENT TO LISBON. 325 
 
 Noon.—Lzt. 38° 3' K, long. 9° 44£' W. Eun, 313 miles. 
 Lisbon, 49 miles. 
 
 While writing in my cabin this morning, Mr. Ritchie and 
 the Doctor came to me, and the latter on leaving " reported " 
 a four-masted schooner on our port beam. I went up to see 
 it, and was " sold." Per contra — a little 
 joke has just reached me which was at the 
 Doctor's expense. It appears there were 
 three eggs this morning available for egg- 
 nog, whereupon, with his usual unselfishness, 
 Mr. Eitchie told his black servant, Clark, to 
 put two in the Doctor's and one in his. This 
 Clark did, but his loyalty to his master's ' T ff' lo Y e and 
 
 ' j j duty. A com- 
 
 person, I suppose, rising superior even to promise. 
 his master's orders, he was detected by Mr. Eitchie the 
 moment afterwards (while the Doctor's back was turned) 
 transposing the glasses. 
 
 When they had drunk their eggnog, Mr. Eitchie, thinking 
 Clark's trick too good to be lost, told the Doctor of it, and 
 then me. And now my kind friend Dr. Blandford does not 
 like me to ask him, as I have done many times this morning, 
 in season and out of season, which he prefers, " A two- 
 egged schooner, or a four-masted cocktail ? " 
 
 2 p.m. — Just as we were coming up from lunch, the Clyde 
 cut right in among a school of porpoises, and we saw them 
 quite close to the ship. There must have been fully fifty of 
 them, and the way they tumbled about was, I must say, 
 conduct far more suited to the playground than the "school." 
 A friend suggests that perhaps they were in school, and we 
 accidentally disturbed them in their exercises. As a faithful 
 historian of the ship's events, I record this remark, but with 
 sorrow.
 
 326 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 3 p.m. — We are once more anchoring off the pretty city of 
 Lisbon. I shall not go on shore, as I want every moment 
 now for my notes, if I am to finish them, as I have always 
 planned doing, during the homeward voyage. Besides, we 
 start early in the morning, and an evening on shore would 
 be no use for anything but a theatre, and indoor amusements 
 of any kind I have steadfastly set my face against, as my 
 trip is undertaken purely for purposes of health. 
 
 I found my flannels far too cold, and have changed for 
 almost winter clothes. Everybody is in ulsters. The cold 
 has increased greatly during the last twenty-four hours, and 
 the parrots are dying off by dozens. Strange to say, the two> 
 monkeys, Borneo and Juliet, stand it well, and will in all 
 probability reach England : and then — well, much depends- 
 on the weather there. A friend has just told me' that a 
 parrot he brought safely to Southampton, on a former voyage- 
 at this season of the year, died as he was taking it from the 
 dock to his hotel. 
 
 8 p.m. — There has been no quarantine here, as all expected 
 there would be, and as there is, eight months out of the 
 twelve, for vessels coming from the Brazils. Many therefore 
 have gone ashore, and we are a small party in the dining- 
 saloon. " Touching Europe " was considered an occasion of 
 sufficient importance to justify the introduction of sparkling 
 wines at dinner, and accordingly corks were popping in all 
 directions. 
 
 My consumption of champagne is very limited. On 
 shore I never can touch it, without paying far too high 
 a penalty. As Punch says of cold brandy and water, " It is 
 very nice, but there is a to-morrow morning." Here on ship- 
 board I find anything may be indulged in, in moderation. 
 The grand air makes one so fit.
 
 ST. VINCENT TO LISBON. 
 
 329 
 
 10 p.m. — This evening poor Mr. Ritchie broke his famous 
 sword (the one that Clark has polished so long and with such 
 maternal care) trying to show 
 us how wonderfully a Toledo 
 blade would bend. As in every- 
 thing, he was thoroughly philo- 
 sophical over it. He only smiled 
 and said, just as he does at chess 
 when he loses a piece : " Serves 
 me right for not being more 
 careful." But I fear he felt the 
 loss. It was a little two-act drama 
 
 Act I. 
 
 Act II. 
 
 In the first act he, 
 like the soldier, "leant upon his sword;" and in the second, 
 I'm afraid, though unseen by us, he " wiped away a tear." 
 
 December 16th. — 8 a.m. We are still in the Tagus. It 
 was so cold in the night, that I was glad of all the covering 
 I could gather upon my bunk. There were none of the 
 pretty nautiluses visible yesterday; they only show up in 
 mild weather. In going these great distances one does get 
 so muddled about the seasons. When we left the Argentine, 
 summer was coming rapidly on. At Pernambuco it is per- 
 petual summer; and here we are at Lisbon in mid-winter. 
 Only six weeks ago there were hundreds of the lovely 
 creatures off the mouth of the Tagus. 
 
 10 a.m. — A curious incident has just occurred. Getting 
 interested in a chair a passenger joining us here was bring- 
 ing on board — he is a very dark man of Portuguese type, 
 and was speaking Portuguese — I got into conversation with 
 him in French, which they all speak more or less. What he 
 took me for I don't know, but I heard him say afterwards to 
 a friend in English, " Where did that man " (meaning me) 
 " come aboard ? " To which " that man " replied for himself,
 
 330 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 " At Southampton." And hang me if we didn't find that we 
 were near neighbours in the North-west of London ! 
 
 This reminds me of a digital dialogue I once had with a 
 poor fellow in a deaf and dumb school on the Margate sands. 
 At the finish of a (to me) laborious effort, I inquired if he 
 had been born mute. "No," he fingered back. "Were you?" 
 " I'm not a mute," I slowly spelt out in reply. " No more 
 am I," said he, aloud. He was one of the masters.
 
 ( 331 ) 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 LISBON TO SOUTHAMPTON. 
 
 December 16th. — 10 a.m. A lame man, one of our emigrants 
 who is going on to Vigo, has been at the pains of going on 
 shore here, simply to buy and present 
 a candle to his patron saint. Long 
 ago, when the saint first took him in 
 hand and he was on two crutches, the 
 patient promised two candles if he was 
 cured. Having lately, it seems, been 
 enabled to dispense with one crutch, 
 he has very honourably been ashore to 
 pay the saint, ad valorem, one candle 
 on account. Now, I call that business. 
 11.30 a.m. — We have weighed anchor, 
 and are once more descending the 
 Tagus with only a light wind, so that 
 things look more hopeful for the Bay. We are passing through 
 a perfect fleet of the graceful craft of these parts, skimming 
 swiftly over the water with their immense lateen sails leaning 
 over almost dangerously before the breeze. In one, sits all 
 by himself, as though for the mere enjoyment of the thing, a 
 small one-legged man, dressed in white and wearing a medal 
 on his breast. He saved the lives of five people whose boat 
 capsized here, they tell me, and out of gratitude they 
 
 "Le jeu ne vaut jias 
 les deux cliandelles."
 
 332 " HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 presented him with that boat and a commemorative medal. 
 He has never been a soldier, but all the same, he lost his les 
 by an explosion — in a mine. 
 
 This reminds me of a story they were telling last night in 
 the " Ritchie Club." At a certain watering-place lived two 
 boatmen, both Jones by name, though not related. Each 
 sustained a heavy loss about the same period — the one of 
 his wife, and the other of his sailing-boat. Anon comes a 
 district visitor to condole with the widower : 
 
 Lady. " I am deeply grieved to hear of your sad loss, Mr. 
 Jones." 
 
 Jones. " Ay, mum, she were a loss, were my Poll." 
 
 Lady. " You had long been together, I hear — in sunshine 
 and in storm." 
 
 Jones. "Ay, mum, Ave had for many a year." 
 
 Lady. " She must have been very dear to you, I'm sure. 
 When did she first show signs of breaking up ? " 
 
 Jones. "Well, mum, she were always, as you may say, 
 tight up to last Monday." 
 
 Lady (puzzled). " You don't mean that ! " 
 
 Jones. " You see, mum, the boys on the beach was always 
 a playing tricks wi' 'er — but on Monday night they must 'a 
 used 'er cruel " 
 
 Lady (shocked). " Dear, dear ; how dreadful ! " 
 
 Jones (continuing). "For on Toosday, I found 'er with 
 the fresh coat I had give 'er all kicked off 'er ribs, 'er stays 
 all cut loose and fly in' about." 
 
 Lady (horrified). "Mr. Jones!" 
 
 Jones (continuing). "A dozen on 'em must er been a 
 kickin' of 'er for hours " 
 
 Lady (shrinking). " You appal me ! " 
 
 Jones. "Why, mum, I 'adn't shoved 'er a mile off the
 
 LISBON TO SOUTHAMPTON. 
 
 333 
 
 " Me, muni ? I swum ashore ! " 
 
 beach afore she behaved that shameful bad, I made up my 
 mind to run 'er in for the night, bale 'er out in the 
 mornin', and then make 'er 
 tight agen." 
 
 Lady (bewildered). 
 " But you don't mean to 
 say " 
 
 Jones (interrupting). " I 
 do, mum; and all in a 
 minnit she give jist one 
 shiver, rolled over, and 
 went to kingdom cum " 
 
 Lady. "Well, but 
 you " 
 
 Jones. " Me, mum ? I 
 swum ashore." 
 
 Tableau ! 
 
 I timed the coaling at Lisbon, and found that we managed 
 to ship two hundred tons in five hours-and-a-half, the exact 
 time occupied in receiving one hundred and four tons in St. 
 Vincent. This is a great improvement, but the day is fast 
 coming, I think, when even this will be considered as so 
 much waste expenditure — waste in money and waste in time. 
 The value of petroleum as liquid fuel is daily becoming more 
 and more recognized. It possess many advantages over coal 
 — it is lighter, so more fuel could be carried; it is more 
 cleanly, and so would be less nuisance to passengers and 
 crew ; it would give the engineer greater control over his fires ; 
 and it could be shipped in the bottom of the vessel, and so 
 act more efficiently as ballast, while leaving available for 
 cargo the upper space now devoted to coal. 
 
 3 p. m> — The Chief Officer has had a capital cage made for
 
 334 " HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 " Che " — a champagne box standing on end, with a perforated 
 door working on a hinge, a perch inside, and a handle on top. 
 Throughout the voyage, out and home, Mr. Constantine has 
 been most kind to me, bearing with my landsman's ignorance 
 and inquisitiveness very graciously. It is a real pleasure to 
 have such a man to go to, and to know that you will always 
 be met with a smile as you enter his cabin. 
 
 We have slowed down to barely more than twelve knots 
 an hour, so as to consume time, or rather to save coal, as we 
 don't want to reach Vigo before it is light to-morrow morning. 
 
 I have been chatting with a young Englishman who, beino- 
 with a party of Germans and speaking their language always, 
 has hitherto passed for one of their countrymen. He joined 
 us at Eio. In his cabin he showed me a jDair of hioji boots 
 made of the skin of the young alligator, perfectly waterproof, 
 light, and soft, and splendid things for the swamps so common 
 in the Brazils. He tells me that the reptile's tail yields 
 an oil (as much as from twelve to fifteen gallons) which is 
 utilized for lighting purposes in many parts of that country. 
 
 8 p.m. — My ferns seem to stand the change of climate, 
 there are no further deaths. The surviving parrots also 
 appear to have become acclimatized. My own little " Che " 
 is particularly sprightly, but when one recalls the great heat 
 of Pernambuco, his native place, it is easy to understand how 
 he must feel the difference of this northern air, mild as it 
 is to-night. I found my ulster too hot on deck just now. 
 
 At Lisbon we got two bits of news. One, that gold in 
 Argentina had reached three hundred and twenty-four j>er 
 cent. ; the other, that a " P. and 0." vessel had been wrecked 
 off Plymouth. ' 
 
 A funny thing occurred this afternoon. The elderly lady 
 I have twice referred to, was sitting reading in a chair next
 
 LISBON TO SOUTHAMPTON. 335 
 
 to me on deck, when she dropped her paper in her lap and 
 took off her glasses quite in a little huff. She is strong on 
 women's rights and wrongs, and generally has something 
 amusing to say when she speaks on these subjects, which she 
 was evidently preparing to do now, so I encouraged her to 
 relieve herself by an interested sort of look. She was only 
 too willing to explain, for this time she had a real grievance, 
 I could see. It seems she had found it stated in the paper 
 she had been reading that more women die than men. That 
 they suffered more she already knew, and had told me often. 
 That they were more useful and got less thanks for it was 
 proverbial. But that after all they should die more than 
 men — this was too much, " the last straw," which, as the boy 
 said, "gave the camel the hump." "Poor wretched women !" 
 she ejaculated, nervously bustling about in her chair. " Does 
 it say hoiv many more women than men ? " I inquired 
 sympathetically. " I don't think that matters much," she 
 said, "but the exact figures are : — for every thousand women, 
 nine hundred and eighty men." " For every thousand 
 women, nine hundred and eighty men," I repeated to myself. 
 " Why, at that rate, there would soon be fewer women than 
 men, and we know the reverse is the case." And then a 
 thought struck me. " Does it mention any particular age ? " 
 I inquired aloud. " I don't see that that affects the question," 
 she replied sulkily. Then glancing at her paper again she 
 languidly read to me the entire sentence : " The records 
 of the Registrar-General show that for every thousand 
 women only nine hundred and eighty men die at upwards of 
 ninety years of age." " Which I think means," I ventured to 
 suggest gently, " that more women than men reach that aye." 
 " Thank you," she said severely ; " the t Registrar-General 
 is a man, and you are a man, and I therefore view all
 
 336 
 
 HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 A tainted source." 
 
 his and your information with suspicion, as coming from a 
 tainted soitrcc." And, gathering up her traps, the dear old 
 
 lady flounced off and left me in 
 disgrace. 
 
 So I am a " tainted source," 
 am I ? It has come to that ! 
 Well, I've been a good many 
 things in my time, but I didn't 
 think I should live to see myself 
 a " tainted source." Still, I can't 
 wonder at it, considering the hot climates I've been in lately. 
 Why, in Eio even the worm will " turn." 
 
 December 17th. — 7 a.m. The sun and I are rising together. 
 We must be nearino- Vi^o. The weather is dull and rather 
 cold, and the ship rolling in lumpy seas and under the old 
 familiar grey sky. We have had a heavy sea on the bows 
 all night, so that she has pitched freely, and here in the 
 fore part we feel that particular motion most. Early this 
 morning I had to turn out and lash " Che's " box to the 
 sideboard in my cabin, or he would have spent his time 
 among my luggage. 
 
 7.20 a.m. — We are entering Vigo Bay by the passage on 
 the south-west side of the bleak bare island of Cies, or 
 Bayona. 
 
 8.18 a.m. — We are anchoring near Vigo and close to the 
 rocks on which the Pacific Company's s.s. Valparaiso was 
 recently lost. The Clyde only stops to land passengers. 
 There is no cargo to give or take, and we do not coal either, 
 so we shall only have a couple of hours. 
 
 Vigo, with a population of some seventeen thousand, is a 
 place of call for Mediterranean steamers, and a chief centre 
 of the cattle trade. It is picturesquely situated, but its
 
 LISBON TO SOUTHAMPTON. 
 
 337 
 
 beauty is marred by railways, and the hand of the modern 
 reformer has robbed it of much of its primitive simplicity. 
 
 On the sea-front may be seen a small specimen of its 
 ancient walls, and between the town and the sea runs a 
 newly planted " Alameda," or avenue of poplars. 
 
 Vigo Bay is memorable as the scene of one of Drake's 
 dashing exploits. Somewhere between 1585 and 1589 he 
 sailed into the bay with five and twenty ships of the line 
 and attacked the combined fleets of France and Spain, and, 
 in the teeth of batteries masking twenty thousand men, 
 
 "Vigo. Lazaretto de San Simon. 
 
 captured or sunk thirty-one of them — of the ships, not the 
 men. This terrific loss is attributed, by historians, to the 
 French convoys under Count Chateau Renaud having fled in 
 mid-action, leaving the Spaniards in the lurch. But seeing 
 that the joint loss of thirty-one consisted of six French and 
 five Spanish captured, and twelve French and eight Spanish 
 sunk, it is clear, unless the fleets were very disproportionate 
 in numbers, that the French, in losing eighteen to the 
 Spaniards' fifteen, had done more than bear their proportion 
 of the punishment, and were fairly entitled to order their 
 remnant to take the usual measures to ensure fighting 
 
 z
 
 338 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 another day. Drake no doubt would have been only too 
 glad if the little runaway convoy had remained, to increase 
 both his victory and his prize-money. As it was, however, 
 the Spaniards cast the bulk of their treasure into the sea, 
 from which all manner of diving schemes have hitherto failed 
 to redeem it. 
 
 The town of Vigo itself sustained a heavy bombardment 
 in 1719, at the hands of Lord Cobham — that is, if one can 
 say a place " sustains " that which causes its almost total 
 destruction. 
 
 Five miles across the bay lies the delightful and ideal 
 Spanish fishing village of Cangas. On the outward voyage 
 the vessels of the Royal Mail make a little longer pause here, 
 I believe, and, if so, then is the time to see Cangas, which is, 
 I hear, well worth a visit. We did not call at Vigo going 
 out, nor have we stayed long enough now to make the trip, 
 but I know the best way to get there. Walk to Bongas — 
 about two miles — and there hire a boat. The boatmen are 
 rapacious, but if you bargain first they will take you safely 
 and quickly for a mere trifle ; and if you keep cool there will 
 be no disputing afterwards. It is safe to say they will land 
 you or take you to Cangas for a third or a fourth of the 
 sum they at first demand. 
 
 The port of Vigo is one of the finest in Spain. The bay 
 has all the appearance of a lake, being hemmed in by rocky 
 islands which, breaking the force of the Atlantic swell, 
 make snug shelter for the shipping. Among the chief 
 exports are sardines, boats laden with which may be seen 
 in all directions wending their way to -and from Gibraltar, 
 Barcelona, etc. 
 
 From the entrance of the bay to the town, the country is 
 rich and undulating, but only sparsely covered with white
 
 LISBON" TO SOUTHAMPTON. 
 
 339 
 
 houses which serve to render more noticeable the rich green 
 upon the hillsides behind them. One might do worse than 
 spend a fortnight amoni; ,. 
 
 such peaceful and pictur- 
 esque surroundings, when 
 one can reach the place 
 in such a ship as the Clyde 
 in about forty hours. Yet 
 it has but few visitors. Is 
 it because twenty-four out 
 of the forty hours are spent 
 crossing the Bay of Biscay ? 
 Perhaps. 
 
 10.30 a.m.— We are 
 weighing anchor and off 
 once more, and for the last 
 time. Again we pass Cies 
 Island, this time on the 
 north side. Breakers are 
 foaming round a reef 
 which runs from the island 
 two miles out to sea. The 
 Second Officer tells me a 
 big vessel was lost there 
 not long ago. 
 
 Noon. — We are dashing 
 along into the Bay of Biscay 
 at sixty revolutions, twenty 
 miles an hour. The sun 
 is delightfully warm, and 
 I take " Che " on deck for 
 a sun bath, which is revivifying alike " for man and beast."
 
 340 
 
 HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 I intend no rudeness to " Che," who is, I may observe, a 
 lady bird according to the best authorities on board ; I use 
 the term " beast " as generic for all other creatures than 
 man. 
 
 3.30 p.m. — We are off Cape Torinana, where the ill-starred 
 iron-clad Captain heeled over suddenly, and went down with 
 all hands. Mr. Childers' son was, if I remember rightly, a 
 midshipman aboard her. Poor fellow! We are passing 
 over his grave as I write. Between here and the next point, 
 Cape Villano, the north coast of Galicia is considered very 
 
 Lost! (H.M.S. Serpent.) 
 
 dangerous and one of the worst bits of the Bay. It was 
 there, as we have just heard, that the Serpent, only a fort- 
 night ago, mistaking the Torinano for the Finisterre light, 
 headed round the Cape, ran ashore in the Bay of Camarinas, 
 and was lost with a hundred and thirty of her officers and 
 crew. Their bodies are interred on the shores of the village 
 of that name, whose inhabitants, we hear, rendered most 
 kindly aid at the time of the disaster. 
 
 5 p.m. — We are well into the Bay and are feeling the full 
 swell of the Atlantic. We even shipped some water just 
 now, a rare thing for the Clyde.
 
 LTSBON TO SOUTHAMPTON. 341 
 
 A few moments ago I heard a young good-looking fellow, 
 with bright eyes and brilliant complexion, who joined the 
 ship at Vigo, talking to a lady about having had fever up 
 the Amazon, and being invalided home. One of the pas- 
 sengers tells me he is a rich young " masher," resident on 
 the south coast, who every now and then leaves by one of 
 the ocean-going ships, goes ashore at Vigo or Lisbon, stops 
 there eight or ten weeks, and then returns with thrilling 
 accounts of his travels and hair-breadth escapes by flood 
 and field. He is most at home when spinning yarns about 
 his alligator-shooting in the Brazils ; crossing the Andes on 
 mule-back, with suitable local colouring ; or " rounding the 
 Horn," with its concomitant adventures. " Invalided ! " — 
 and with those cheeks — was " a little too, too ! " 
 
 8 p.m. — There is really not a morsel of sea on, in this 
 formidable Bay. It even looks smooth, and there are no 
 " white horses " on the wave-tops. But the rollers are huge. 
 Taking them broadside, as we do, if this grand ship, solid 
 as an anvil, heaves so that as I write in my cabin the stool 
 skates all over the place with me, and the luggage is playing 
 at " touch and run away " in every direction — what must 
 this Bay be in had weather ! 
 
 11 p.m. — There was a large and merry party in the 
 " Smoking club " this evening, and songs and speeches 
 were the order of the day. One gentleman, who had besought 
 us over and over again to hear him sing " Paddy's Wedding," 
 when at last he got his chance, couldn't remember the 
 words. Another, however, did, as it happened, and came 
 to the rescue, and so it ended in the song being given out a 
 verse at a time, like a hymn in a Primitive Methodist 
 chapel. But, to our further amusement, we found that the 
 singer rendered this old Irish song in the very purest of
 
 342 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 cockney accents. On his attention being gently drawn to 
 the incongruity, he explained that he did so because so 
 many people couldn't understand the words " when he sung 
 them with the brogue." Upon this we challenged him to 
 try us, as his argument wouldn't hold now that the words 
 were being given out before each verse. Unable to escape 
 any longer, he consented, and sang us the most curious 
 jumble of Yorkshire dialect and Frenchman's broken English 
 I ever heard. It was simply delicious, and certainly 
 justified his plea for singing the song in English. 
 
 The chorus, " La, la, la, lalalala," etc., was Parisian, pure and 
 simple. But (style and all) we joined in with an ecstasy I'm 
 sure beyond that which Sam Collins could have infused into 
 the original song. 
 
 Another friend getting first merry, then jubilant, and 
 finally generous, made a speech in which he invited us all 
 to his house — without saying where it was, which in the 
 circumstances was perhaps wise — in terms which precisely 
 reversed his predecessor's error, for he delivered English 
 in Irish fashion. He said we were welcome at any time, 
 any and all of us, to put our toes under his table, and he 
 hoped he would often have the pleasure of seeing many of 
 our faces there ! This was received with volleys of " Later 
 on ! Later on ! " and unrestrained hilarity, amid which the 
 festivities closed. 
 
 December 18th. — 8 a.m. At 2 a.m. this morning, one of last 
 night's revellers (who had been invited to go "under the table" 
 of the generous " universal provider "), having apparently 
 during the evening done his best to qualify himself for that 
 position, rang his bell violently. On my going to see what 
 was the matter, he peremptorily ordered me, pointing to the 
 corner, to remove " that man " who was " watching him."
 
 LISBON TO SOUTHAMPTON. 343 
 
 In vain did I try to assure him that it was his own ulster 
 hanging harmlessly on its peg. He was obdurate. So, for the 
 sake of my own peace as well as his, I had to take it solemnly 
 down and carry it to my cabin. Whereupon he thanked me 
 effusively, and with the air of a duke, adding, thickly 
 somewhat, that he was sure in " calber bobents " I should 
 " aekdoledge-the-wis-dob-o-th-pre-caution." And with that 
 he turned on his face and I heard him addressing the rest of 
 his remarks to the bolster. This morning he is ringing his 
 bell again to know what's become of his coat, and is most 
 incredulous of my explanation, asserting that he was never 
 frightened of a coat in his life, at least (as a reservation), at 
 least, not of his own coat. From which last remark I incline 
 to think that he is still wool-gathering. 
 
 For myself, my chief beverage out and home has been 
 lemon squash. And very well it suited me. Now and then 
 I would venture on a single glass of whiskey ; and occasionally 
 I indulged in a glass or two of champagne, but never except 
 at meals. To this moderation I attributed my ability to 
 sleep or wake, without fear, in the presence of my overcoat. 
 
 Last night I allowed myself to be tempted with a cigar 
 which a friend pressed upon me. He had but a couple — he 
 showed me his case — and he said they were 2s. 6d. each. This 
 decided me, and I smoked the thing. Hearing him afterwards 
 order " two more of those 6d. cigars," I opened my eyes at 
 him. " My dear sir," he said, " I only did it to induce you 
 to take one. What I said was strictly correct, if you think 
 my words over, only I didn't say a comma at two." 
 
 Noon. — Lat. and long, not announced by the Captain, but 
 we can't be more than a couple of hours off Cape Ushant, 
 passing which we are in the Channel. 
 
 This morning a pathetic little incident occurred. A poor
 
 344 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 parrot on his wooden stand, one of the many braced to the 
 bulwarks outside the cook's galley, was blown overboard. If 
 he had sunk at once there would have been nothing very sad 
 about the affair, for of course we could not stop to pick him 
 up. But it was very touching to see poor Polly crawl to the 
 perch and shake his drenched feathers as if he quite under- 
 stood it was only some of our fun. And then to reflect, that 
 it was only a reprieve from a speedy and merciful death to 
 one of slow starvation, unless some friendly shark, seeing 
 something alive, should invite him to dinner as the spider 
 does the fly. 
 
 Even if a large dog, as occasionally happens, is swept 
 
 overboard, no efforts are made to 
 save him, so what can a poor 
 parrot expect ? Eecently, how- 
 ever, I read of a case where the 
 ship did lay-to when a fine New- 
 foundland dog was w r ashed away. 
 But it was his master's doing : 
 for well knowing the rules on 
 such occasions, he in an instant, 
 and without pausing to think, 
 A gallant rescue. sprang over the side too. This of 
 
 course compelled the Captain to stop, and thus happily both 
 the dog and his gallant master were saved. 
 
 While I was caressing my little " Che " this morning, and 
 rolling him over and over on his back on my bunk, he 
 attempted to extricate himself by fixing his beak in my nose. 
 It was all my fault, but I reprimanded him in two or three 
 strong Brazilian expletives I have acquired, and now that 
 he sees me busily packing, with a view, as he seems to fear, 
 of presently deserting him, he shows such contrition, and tries
 
 LISBON TO SOUTHAMPTON. 345 
 
 so hard to make reparation for his little fault by gentle 
 ways, sweet notes, and attentions of all kinds, that I have 
 had to let him sit on my head or shoulder despite the 
 inconvenience to me. It is none to him, for he holds on to 
 my coat-collar by his foot and sings most joyously while I 
 blunder about the cabin among my many traps. 
 
 3 p.m. — It is raining hard, the sea is rough, and there is 
 no walking on any of the decks, for the spray and rain are 
 making a clean sweep of them. Only about twelve hours 
 more and we shall be in Southampton, and the great trip of 
 my life will be over and done. But its remembrance will 
 feast me for the rest of my days, as at once the most 
 delightful and wonderful experience I have known. It 
 has made me fully five years younger in vitality, and a good 
 ten years older in knowledge of the world. 
 
 8. p.m. — Getting up from dinner, Mr. Mervin went to the 
 organ in the dining-saloon to play a favourite air on board, 
 called " Daughters," with a chorus that has lately " caught 
 on," as they say, so that everybody, even to the tiny ship's 
 boys, are for ever singing it. The ship was rolling and pitch- 
 ing so that the getting there was no easy matter, and the 
 stopping on the stool would have been simply impossible 
 but for the assistance of one of 
 these same ship's boys, whom 
 Mervin employed to hold the seat 
 steady. Now, the Doctor was 
 having dessert with us, and want- 
 ing to send a message quickly, 
 bailed this boy by name to carry 
 
 it. For a moment a struggle 
 
 .... . . The sliding tcale. 
 
 went visibly on in the poor 
 
 lad's mind, between discipline on the one hand, and polite-
 
 346 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 ness on the other. Unfortunately for Mervin, the former 
 triumphed ; the boy went to the Doctor, and the organist to 
 the uttermost ends of the earth, as represented by the ship's 
 side. 
 
 11 p.m. — A select few of us have been having our last merry 
 meeting. There were speeches, songs, and toasts galore, the 
 Doctor, as usual, outshining us all. But most speeches had 
 to be made from the speaker's seat, for standing — that is to 
 say, standing still — was quite out of the question. One of our 
 number sang a song in praise of the bonny ship that bore us 
 over. Here are the words : — 
 
 A SONG OF THE CLYDE. 
 Air, "Sweet Kitty Clyde." 
 
 Oh « Sweet Kitty Clyde " my tune shall be, 
 
 And I'll sing you a song, if you will, 
 Of one of her name that went to sea 
 
 And is sailing the ocean still. 
 She is blithe and gay, as the sailor's wife 
 
 When she welcomes her lad alongside : 
 And heart to my heart iu the pulse of life 
 Beats the breast of the bounding Clyde.* 
 
 Chorus. 
 
 " Oh, the lovely Clyde, she's Ocean's bride," 
 
 Said Neptune, as he kiss'd her, 
 " And safe she shall ride, upon every tide, 
 
 With the Thames, her sweet twin-sister." 
 
 Some people aver that she left her home 
 On account of her well-known slips, 
 
 * These words seemed to me to fit themselves to the rhythm of the lullaby 
 of the engines. I have had to smooth them out, for they used to reach me 
 iu all soi ts of queer assortments, such as — 
 
 " And pulse to my life in the heart of bound, 
 Heart the Clyde of the breasting beat." 
 — C. C. A.
 
 LISBON TO SOUTHAMPTON. 347 
 
 And they say she is still inclined to roam, 
 
 And they point to her fast little trip*. 
 But I'll have none of their wordy strife, 
 
 And whatever may her betide, 
 Still heart to my heart in the pulse oflife 
 
 Beats the breast of the bounding Clyde. 
 
 Cliorus. 
 
 Some say Old Neptune's a bit of a flirt, 
 
 And is sweet on his sister-in-law. 
 But at that bis wife will not feel hurt 
 
 While his conduct's without a flaw. 
 And on the "deceased wife's sister" strife 
 
 There will be no need to decide, 
 "While heart to his heart in the pulse of life 
 
 Beats the breast of the bounding Clyde. 
 
 Chorus. 
 
 Oh, my pretty Clyde, 'twas a lucky chance 
 
 That made us partners, dear, 
 In many a merry wavy dance 
 
 In Neptune's ball-room here. 
 But oh, the thought stabs like a knife 
 
 That I must leave thy side, 
 For heart to my heart in the pulse of life 
 
 Beats the breast of the bounding Clyde. 
 
 Chorus. 
 
 Thy gliding form will haunt my dreams 
 
 In my home that is far away. 
 Ah me ! How cruel this parting seems : 
 
 " Good-bye ! " is so sad to say. 
 One must not trifle with Neptune's wife, 
 
 Yet oft I shall tell with pride 
 How, heart to my heart in the pulse of life, 
 
 Beat the breast of the bounding Clyde. 
 
 Chorus. 
 
 And now, dear boys, one parting word : 
 
 To the Clyde your glasses raise, 
 And make your lusty voices heard, 
 
 In one loud psean of praise. 
 I'll stamp and whistle, for drum and fife, 
 
 While each claps a hand to his side,
 
 348 " HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 Singing, "heart to my heart, in the pulse of life, 
 Beats the breast of the bounding Clyde." 
 
 CI. or us. 
 
 " Oh, the lovely Clyde, she's Ocean's bride," 
 
 Said Neptune, as he kiss'd her, 
 " And safe she shall ride, upon every tide, 
 
 With the Thames, her sweet twin-sister." 
 
 The little party was a big success, and all I think enjoyed 
 it thoroughly ; and as to our physical comforts, the cabin, 
 company, and concomitants left little to be desired. Thanks 
 to the hot-water pipes that skirt each cabin, we were all 
 as snug and cosy as heart could wish. But on deck how 
 different ! I have had just one peep at it before turning in. 
 The cold is intense, the rain pouring in torrents, and the 
 sea sweeping the spar-deck from end to end. We are in the 
 " chops of the Channel," too, and the good ship tumbles 
 herself and us about as she has never done before, going 
 out or coming home. It was with the very greatest difficulty 
 I managed to get to Mr. Eitchie's cabin to say good-night, 
 his duties on such a night and in the Channel having kept 
 him from joining our farewell gathering. Indeed, poor 
 fellow, he will be up all to-night. The starboard (weather- 
 side) companion exit was shut and locked on account of the 
 violence of the wind, rain, and sea, and the only way to get 
 to the Chief Engineer was to go on the spar-deck by the 
 port side exit, and cross to the other side by the tunnel 
 behind the engines. The fight with the wind through that 
 tunnel I shall never forget. The distance from the port 
 side to his cabin is not more than twenty yards, but I 
 dare say it took me five minutes, moving barely an inch at 
 a time. While I was there, Mr. Mervin turned up also, but 
 it had cost him two shillings for a seaman to pilot him. It
 
 LISBON TO SOUTHAMPTON. 
 
 349 
 
 is the wildest night that I have ever spent at sea. The rain 
 is blinding, and it is blowing a full gale. You can't sit, 
 stand, nor walk, and even lying is not easy except to 
 practised liars. A perfectly accurate phrase, I believe, 
 though it sounds strange. 
 
 December 19th. — 6.30 a.m. Few on board can have slept 
 much, I think. What with the violent pitching and rolling, 
 and the thundering blows as each sea struck the ship, I have 
 been awake pretty well the whole night. 
 
 We expected to have been in by 3 a.m., but we are 
 evidently a considerable way from r^f^a^aarssaans a tt 
 home still. 
 
 8 a.m. — We were off Portland, I find, ';-. V 
 at half-past six. Now we are nearin^ Jls&jLi- 
 
 the Needles, and in a blinding snow- 
 storm. The Chief Officer has had 
 nine hours on the bridge in this bitter 
 weather, so that he was there when we 
 were toasting him below last night, 
 and wishing heartily, I warrant, that 
 he could toast himself. We have 
 been lying-to half the night, I hear, 
 unable to distinguish any " lights." 
 
 10 a.m.— Breakfast has furnished me with my last meal 
 aboard the Clyde. Mr. Ritchie tells me there was no moving 
 all night for the dense snow that was falling. When once, 
 for a moment, the veil lifted, we found we were among a group 
 of vessels, all brought-to like ourselves, and one of them, a 
 North German Lloyd, not thirty yards off. He told me also 
 of the Doctor's narrow escape on leaving us last night 
 Attempting to reach his cabin by the starboard or weather 
 side, on which it lies, a sea that swept the deck caught hi in, 
 
 Hie watch.
 
 350 "BOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 lifted him off his legs, and hurling hiin the length of the 
 deck, dashed him into the scuppers, where, holding on for 
 dear life to the steps, he was nearly drowned with the 
 volume of water, as wave after wave came crashing upon 
 him. 
 
 The coast, which is for a moment visible, is thickly covered 
 with snow, and the wind is piercingly cold. The glad tidings 
 has just come, as the best of all Christmas messages of peace 
 and good-will to the officers and crew of the Clyde, that the 
 river Scheldt is frozen over and impassable, and the ship 
 will not therefore proceed to Antwerp. The delight of every 
 one at escaping that horrid trip across the North Sea, and 
 getting in place of it a long Christmas holiday ashore in 
 England and in their homes, is brightening every face, and 
 noticeable in the cheery tones of every voice. 
 
 11.15 a.m. — We are still in a heavy snowstorm, fully as 
 dense as a fog, and so have to keep on stopping and anchor- 
 ing. Just now we weighed and moved five hundred yards, 
 and are now stopping again. 
 
 Noon. — We have at last anchored finally, and the tender 
 is alongside, and lunch has been considerately laid early, so 
 I shall have one more meal. 
 
 1 p.m. — " Farewell my trim-built wherry," Clyde ; I should 
 say " my werry trim-built Clyde ! " Good-bye, Eitchie, my 
 generous friend, and Constantine, and Bamfield, and Dance, 
 and Powell, and thou ever-merry Blandford. Good-bye ! 
 Good-bye ! 
 
 Just as the paddles begin to move, up go three ringing 
 cheers for each of them, and then three more, and lastly, as 
 we steam away, the Captain gets his share. 
 
 At the Custom House all are busy despatching tele- 
 grams to relations and friends — telegraph officials being
 
 LISBON TO SOUTHAMPTON. 
 
 351 
 
 there in the waiting-room to receive them. As to my boxes, 
 the authorities took my word and passed everything, and 
 so I was able to catch the 3.15 train to Waterloo, which 
 we reached at 6.30 p.m., to find London, as it had been, they 
 told me, for a month past, knee-deep in snow. 
 
 Hoi 
 
 " Like a sheeted ghost the vessel swept." 
 
 Longfellow. 
 
 V ENVOI. 
 
 'Hnd now, before I say my last Farewell, 
 
 What is the outcome of the tale I tell ? 
 
 Two months ago, I left these shores, to roam 
 
 In search of vanished " Health," and bring her home. 
 
 How have I brought her? Like a truant wife, 
 
 To be more constant to our wedded life? 
 
 Or is her love, this second honeymoon, 
 
 To wane at our home-coming, all too soon ? 
 
 Or shall we, like ill-mended china, hold 
 
 Together till our frail cement be cold, 
 
 And then, once more, upon the slightest strain, 
 
 At the old fracture, break and part again ? 
 
 £23ell, these are speculations I must leave : 
 
 The web of Fate is not for me to weave. 
 
 'Gainst the lost Past I weigh my Present gain : 
 
 Who to the Future looks, shall look in vain. 
 
 You know the soldier's ancient boast, no doubt, 
 
 " I've caught a Tartar ! " — " What are you about,"
 
 352 "HOW I FOUND" HEALTH. 
 
 Answered his comrade, "not to bring Mm home?" 
 
 " I would," replied the first, "but he wont comer' 
 
 And so we find too, in more recent days, 
 
 When Stanley, under Equatorial blaze, 
 
 At last discovered Emin Pacha's track, 
 
 He but contrived to bring him half-way back. 
 
 And then the wily prisoner slipped his chain, 
 
 And a-moth-hunting scampered off again. 
 
 <3fter such warning voices, I confess, 
 
 There does seem such a thing as half-success. 
 
 Thus it appears, all I can fairly claim, 
 
 Is to have done what little was my aim. 
 
 To search for " Health " I went the Clyde aboard. 
 
 To find " Health " — somewhere — has been my reward 
 
 And, " How I keep Health " (if I do), in time, 
 
 May serve me for another theme or rhyme. 
 
 JHeanwhile, if ever you my trip should try, 
 
 May my success attend you, friend, say I : 
 
 And may you have as happy a tale to tell. 
 
 Till then I bid you, from my heart — 
 
 jfn irtorU !
 
 F S.WbII«-.
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Aconcagua, s.s., 153 
 
 Administrative ability, English, 306 
 
 Adrian Patryd, 114 
 
 Advertisements, xxiii. 
 
 Africans, 128 
 
 " Ah, Ritchie, ah ! " 144 
 
 " Air-cushion," her, 323 
 
 A la petard, 17 
 
 Alaska, 120 
 
 Albatross, 124 
 
 Alcantara, 35 
 
 Ahlerney oxen, 101 
 
 Alexandre, Col., 267 
 
 Alligator leather, 334 
 
 . oil, 334 
 
 Alligators, 120 
 
 "All's well! "14 
 
 Alpha Crucis, 91 
 
 " America, farewell ! " 281 
 
 American humour, 141-143 
 
 "Angel Choir, the," 321, 322 
 
 Anvil Light, 8 
 
 Anxiety needless, 302-304 
 
 Apologia mea, 228, 229 
 
 " Approach amicable, the," 312 
 
 "Arf seas over," etc., 294 
 
 Argentina, 55 
 
 and United States, 213 
 
 , cold in, 202 
 
 , English " drunkenness," 182 
 
 , La Plata City, 209, 210 
 
 , lost to us, 210, 213 
 
 , pronounced Archentina, 265 
 
 , Roca, President, 210 
 
 Argentina, Rosario, 206, 209 
 
 , statistics, crude, 213 
 
 Argentine and Paraguayan wars, 190 
 
 "cuteness," 216, 217 
 
 fleet, 186 
 
 laws, 181, 182 
 
 paper and English gold, 187- 
 
 189 
 
 currency, 1 90 
 
 police, shooting, 185 
 
 , suggested uniform for, 231 
 
 tricks, 182 
 
 proverb, 161 
 
 railways, cheating on the, 191 
 
 Republic, glance at, 165, 168 
 
 revolution, threats of another, 
 
 187 
 
 , true account of, 185-187 
 
 Western Railway, 81 
 
 Assaulting Portuguese, 305 
 
 Assouan, 87 
 
 Avenue of Palms, 132-135 
 
 B 
 
 Bahia, All Saints, 108 
 
 , a narrow escape, 271 
 
 , bananas, 117 
 
 , Basilisk, H.M.S , 107 
 
 , beauty of, 107 
 
 , Cadciras, 1 1 1 
 
 , Catnpo Grande, 113 
 
 , Catamarans, 109 
 
 , cathedral, 111 
 
 , churches, 112 
 
 , Clyde at the, 269 
 
 2 A
 
 354 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Bahia, crackers and bells, 269, 270 
 de Todos-os-Santos, 113 
 
 diamonds, 113 
 
 doctors, 109 
 
 Dutch Admiral, 114 
 
 elevator, 111 
 
 exports, 114 
 
 Father John Martin, 114 
 
 feather-flowers, 110 
 
 Festa, 269 
 
 foundations, 113, 114 
 
 fruits, 110 
 
 funeral march, 108 
 
 gravitation, 112 
 
 Harbour, 268 
 
 historic associations, 114 
 
 Hotel Paris, 112 
 
 houses, 108 
 
 Irishmen, 109 
 
 Itaparica, island of, 107 
 
 Jardim Botanico, 110 
 
 Jesuit Church, 114 
 
 leaving, 115 
 
 marmosets, 110 
 
 monkey, 110, 
 
 mules, 112 
 
 navel oranges, 110 
 
 negresses, 110 
 
 new and old towns, 111 
 
 niggers and negresses, 112 
 
 niggers' quarters, 112 
 
 oranges, 117 
 
 panorama, 107, 108 
 
 parrots, 110 
 
 "pratique," 108, 109 
 
 Reliance, s.s., 107 
 
 reptiles, 114 
 
 revisited, 269, 270 
 
 San Salvador, 113 
 
 small-pox, 109 
 
 streets, 112 
 
 Thames, s.s., 107 
 
 Thome da Sousa, 113 
 
 to and from Clyde, 271 
 
 trams, 112 
 
 trees, huge, 114 
 
 Victoria, 110 
 
 yellow fever, 110 
 Baliia's specialty, 270 
 Ballooning, 60 
 
 Balloonist the Irish, 60 
 Bamfield, Mr., 350 
 Banda Occidental, 222 
 
 Oriental, 163,222 
 
 Baring Bros., 189 
 
 Basilisk, H.M.S., 140 
 
 Bath, my, 8 
 
 Baths, Clyde, 9 
 
 Baweto, 98 
 
 Bay of Biscay, Bay of Camarinas, 340 
 
 , Cape Torinano, 340 
 
 , Cape Ushant, 343 
 
 , Cape Villano, 340 
 
 , Captain, H.M.S., 340 
 
 , Clyde in the, 11, 340, 341 
 
 , nearing the, 9, 339 
 
 , no sea on, 341 
 
 , Serpent, H.M.S. 340 
 
 Bear, the Great, 90, 92 
 Beberibe river, 98 
 Bed-making, 24 
 Be lem Fort, Tagus, 25 
 Bell, Dr. (Nile), 87 
 Bells, ship's, 10 
 Berths drenched, 87 
 
 , how protected, 51 
 
 " Between two stools," xxvi. 
 Billion, a, 92 
 Birthday, my, 143 
 "Black and White," 122 
 Bland, Sir Vivian, 58-61,267 
 Blaudford, Dr., 43, 109, 350 
 " Boast not ! " 12 
 Boat-drill, 79, 80 
 Boats' davits, 156 
 Boats " for ladies," 231 
 Books of reference, list of, xxx. 
 Bordeaux, xxiv., xxv. 
 Borracho, 161, 162 
 Botofogo, 125 
 
 Bay, 127, 132 
 
 Braganza, House of, 190 
 Brazil, between Capricorn and 
 Equator, 120 
 
 , emancipation, 121, 122 
 
 , ex-Emperor, 190 
 
 , fruits, 120 
 
 , general information, 119 
 
 , Imperial Chapel, 128 
 
 , Palace, 127
 
 INDEX. 
 
 355 
 
 Brnzil, negro marriages, 121 
 
 . population, 121 
 
 , Primafe of, 111 
 
 , slave children, 121 
 
 , suicide, 122 
 
 , slaves, 121 
 
 Brazilian coffee-planter, 50 
 
 frigate, 238 
 
 funeral march, 108 
 
 politeness, 100 
 
 proverb, 162 
 
 ■ Republic, 91, 190, 253 
 
 ■ salute' I, 140 
 
 Brazilians, 51, 84 
 
 and Portuguese, 84 
 
 Brazils and River Plate, xsiii. 
 
 , heat in the, 86, 87 
 
 , snakes, 262, 263 
 
 " Bricks and their mortar," 227 
 Bridge, on the, 349 
 " Britisher, ready for the," 191 
 Buenos Aires, 163 
 
 , "Achilles in his tent," 194 
 
 , air, purity of, 202 
 
 , appearance, 166 
 
 , "Assassinated by his friends,'' 
 
 172 
 
 , " Ave Maria ! " 166 
 
 , Avenida Alvcar, 176 
 
 , Sarmiento, 176 
 
 ■ Bank, 168 
 
 , Baring Bros., 189 
 
 , Belgrano, 177 
 
 , " Boca," 165 
 
 , Bolsa (Exchange), 168 
 
 , British Hospital, 178 
 
 , Caballito, 177 
 
 , Cafe' Filip, 201, 202 
 
 , Calle Cangallo, 170 
 
 , Florida, 170 
 
 , , per local guide-book, 
 
 170, 171 
 
 , Piedad, 170 
 
 , Reconquista, 199 
 
 , St. Martin, 165, 170, 180 
 
 , Victoria, 165 
 
 , cathedral, 169 
 
 ■ , Celman, Dr. Miguel Juarez, 
 
 168, 185 
 , Church " ducking," 199, 200 
 
 Buenos Aires, clocks, 198, 199 
 i clocks and earthquake, 180 
 , clubs, 178 
 cockcrow, 200, 201 
 , cold in, 202 
 complexions, 214 
 Corso, 176, 177 
 "Cosmos" Club, 178 
 credit, Italian proverb, 189,190 
 Custom House, 164, 165 
 , dandies, 192, 193 
 dandy's toilet, 193, 194 
 , dollar, the, 168, 169 
 , dons, Spanish, 172 
 English gold, up and down, 188 
 
 newspapers, 179 
 
 " Eternal Rosas," 175 
 Exchange, fight in the, 187, 
 188 
 
 frauds, 190, 191 
 
 "expectations," etc., 189 
 fair sex, 214 
 fight on 'Change, 231 
 fireflies, 177 
 Flores, 177 
 , fly-hire per block, 166 
 founded, 167 
 gauchos, 168, 172, 173 
 gold up and down, 187-189 
 
 — , value of, 188, 189 
 " good winds," 165 
 Government House, 168 
 " Gragias, caballero ! " 171 
 grandees, 172 
 Great Southern Railway, 178 
 
 Western Railway, 178 
 
 Guarani, 172 
 headache cures, 192 
 heat, 167, 192 
 
 — phenomenal, 203 
 , hidalgos, 172 
 horses, cost of, 213 
 Hotel 1' Universale, 165, 179, 
 198, 201 
 
 houses, 166 
 insect noises, 203 
 landing, 163, 164 
 1 lead is moving," 188 
 Lomas, 177 
 London and Brazilian Bank, 189
 
 356 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Buenos Aires, London and River 
 Plate Bank, 203 
 luggage, 165 
 Mannileta, 174 
 Masorqueros, 174 
 Mercado Centrale, 196 
 milkmen, 179 
 " money national," 189 
 mosquitoes, 196 
 mules and horses, 175 
 my stay in, 165 
 "No go!" 186 
 Palermo, 175, 176 
 
 tram, 171, 175 
 
 Park, 3 de Febrero, 176 
 
 patios, 166 
 
 Pelegrini, Dr. Carlos, 186 
 
 peons, 173 
 
 Plaza Constitucion, 178 
 
 del Parque, 178 
 
 General Lavalle, 177- 
 
 180 
 
 Libertad, 181, 185 
 
 Once de Septembre, 178 
 
 Victoria, 167, 168 
 
 sang froid, 268 
 
 plazas, 168 
 Pocahontases, 172 
 police, 231 
 
 pay, 182 
 
 , shooting the, 185 
 
 tricks, 182 
 
 Portenas, 210 
 
 President, ex-, 168 
 
 Quadras, 166 
 
 Quintas, 177 
 
 Recoleta cemetery, 171, 172, 
 
 Church, 170. 
 
 " Residents and Strangers' " 
 Club, 165, 178 
 
 restaurants, exchange cheat- 
 :, 191 
 revolution, 168, 178 
 
 , after the, 180 
 
 , how ended, 186, 187 
 
 incident, 267-269 
 
 — , memento of, 181 
 — , police, 181, 185 
 — , scene during, 181 
 
 Buenos Aires, revolution, tactics of, 
 181 
 
 — , threats of another, 187 
 — , true account of, 185-187 
 — , ultimatum to the fleet, 
 
 269 
 
 ■ (undertaker), 181 
 
 Rosario and Northern Railways, 
 176 
 
 Rosas, the tyrant, 172-175 
 St. Martin, General, 169 
 skeletons of horses, 204 
 smell, tropical, 200 
 starving, 196, 197 
 stoves, paraffin, 202 
 street lighting, 167 
 sim light, 202 
 Tigre, 178,' 20 1,205 
 
 , English children, 205 
 
 , muddled, 205, 206 
 
 tram auxiliary, 175 
 trams, 175, 176 
 Urquiza, Geueral, 175 
 Victoria Home, 178 
 yellow fever, 164 
 Zoological Gardens, 176 
 
 " Bull," 11 
 
 Bullock carts, 101 
 
 Bum-boats, 96 
 
 • alongside Clyde, 276 
 
 bartering, 276 
 
 Burial at sea, 295, 296 
 
 Busaco, 30 
 
 " Busybody, the," 306 
 
 Butcher's parrots, 277 
 
 Cabin companions, 50 
 
 confusion, 50 
 
 , cool, 88 
 
 to myself, 143 
 
 Cabins, first-class and extra first- 
 class, xxvii., xxviii. 
 
 , higher-priced, 88 
 
 , situations of the, xxviii. 
 
 , snug, 348 
 
 " Cable layer, the," 21 
 Cabo Frio, 124 
 Cactus, 125
 
 INDEX. 
 
 357 
 
 Cadeiras, 1 1 1 
 
 California, 55 
 
 Camaraderie, 117, 227, 228 
 
 Camarinas Bay, 340 
 
 Camphor, 83 
 
 Campo Grande, Bahia, 113 
 
 Can a, 82 
 
 Canary Islands, 59 
 
 Capibaribe river, 98 
 
 Captain convalescent, 139 
 
 " Cattle," 148 
 
 ill, 117, 119, 126 
 
 , the, 297, 298, 350 
 
 Captain's initials, 78 
 
 Captains, how chosen, 109 
 
 Carthaginians, 27 
 
 Catamaran, Indian, 288, 289 
 
 , three hundred miles from home, 
 
 288 
 Catamarans, 96, 97, 106, 109, 272 
 Caviare, 313 
 
 Ceis or Bayona Island, 336 
 Celman, Dr. Miguel Juarez, 185 
 Chair, how to offer your, 302 
 Challenge, the, 23 
 Champagne, excuses for, 227, 281, 
 
 326 
 Channel, wild night in, 348, 349 
 Character aboard ship, 228 
 Charity, 84 
 
 fund on board, 272 
 
 " Che" (Chay), 277, 282, 318 
 
 in danger, 302-30 1 
 
 repentant, 344, 345 
 
 "Che's" box, 334 
 
 Chess, 95, 263 
 
 Chief Engineer, 141-143 
 
 Engineers, how chosen, 109 
 
 Officer, 87, 88, 117, 315, 333, 
 
 334, 349 
 
 in command, 126 
 
 Steward's kind attentions, 237, 
 
 272, 281 
 Child ill, 123 
 Children, 59, 118 
 "Chip of the old block, a," 155 
 Choir practice, 320, 321 
 Christinas, 5 
 
 message, 350 
 
 prospects, 319 
 
 Church parade, 76 
 
 Cigars, 2s. 6d. each, 343 
 
 Cintra, Alhambra of the Moorish 
 kings, 38 
 
 , Bemfica, 37 
 
 , Cork Convent, 42 
 
 , " Delicioso," 38 
 
 , donkeys, 40 
 
 , Facilis descensus, 41 
 
 , glimpse of, 39 
 
 , Hall of Shields, 39 
 
 , Hermit Honorius, 42 
 
 , Mafra, 40 
 
 , Pliilippa of Lancaster, 38 
 
 , " Por bem," 38 
 
 , prison of D. Alfonso VI., 39 
 
 , Quinta de Monserrate, 41 
 
 , r.dl to, 37 
 
 , Royal Palace, 37 
 
 , Sala das Pegas, 38 
 
 , Torres Vedras, 40 
 
 , trees, 37 
 
 , view from, 40 
 
 , windmills, 37 
 
 Clark, Ritchie's servant, 290 
 
 Cleopatra, H.M.S., 140, 217 
 Clergyman, the, 57 
 
 Clyde, air shafts, 18 
 
 , Antwerp trip, 232, 319 
 
 , Bay of Biscay, 11 
 
 , berths, 8, 15 
 
 , champagne bill, 19 
 
 , crew, 16 
 
 , dimensions, 14, 15 
 
 , dining saloon, 6, 7, 14 
 
 , drinking bar, 18 
 
 , engines, 15-17 
 
 , Facile princeps, xxvi. 
 
 , " Fiddles," 48 
 
 , fittings, 16 
 
 full ! xxvi. 
 
 going slowly, 265, 318, 334 
 
 "hornpipe," 148, 149 
 
 , infection, 44 
 
 , Inferno, 18 
 
 laid-to, 349 
 
 , leaving Buenos Aires, 215, 216 
 
 light, 143 
 
 , light forward, heavy aft, 115 
 
 , Lisbon, 26
 
 358 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Clyde, music saloon, 15 
 
 , came in flags, 79 
 
 nearing Bahia, 265 
 
 ■ , pace, 17 
 
 , to Lisbon, 26 
 
 , passengers, 16 
 
 racing, 275 
 
 , red wine, 54 
 
 rolling, 143 
 
 , row alongside at Buenos Aires, 
 
 215, 216 
 
 , Southampton, 2 
 
 . tonnage, 15 
 
 Coaling and dinners, 313, 314 
 
 discomforts, 314 
 
 Coal, offers of £100 for, 319 
 Coasting near Bahia, 106, 275, 276 
 
 Rio, 124 
 
 Cockcrow on board, 104, 105 
 Cockroaches, Argentine, 196 
 
 , Brazilian, 135 
 
 Coffee, ship's, 104 
 
 Cold enough for ulsters, 326 
 
 ■ increasing gradually, 315, 324 
 
 intense, Moute Video, 151 
 
 nights, 329 
 
 , Rio Grande do Sul, 144 
 
 Colonia, 160 
 
 Complexion due to water, 225, 226 
 
 Concert announced, 145 
 
 on board, 58, 59, 149-151 
 
 Constantine, Mr., 64, 350 
 
 Constantinople, 27 
 
 Constitutional, the, 8 
 
 Contrast, a, 57 
 
 Conversazione, the, 9 
 
 Conway, story of, 64 
 
 Cool night before crossing the line, 
 
 289 
 Cooler and cooler, Rio Grande do 
 
 Sul, 144 
 Corbinas, 153 
 Corcovado, 126, 139 
 Cordilleras, 147 
 Corrientes, 163 
 Cost, afloat and ashore, £100, xxviii., 
 
 xxix. 
 of trip (from start to fiuish), 
 
 xxviii., xxix. 
 Costume, " The Shocker," 266 
 
 Counsel, too much, xxiii. 
 Courtney, Mr., 21, 81, 196, 215, 293 
 Credit, Italian proverb, 189, 190 
 " Cross," True, False, 90 
 Crow of ill-omen, 105 
 " Cruise of the Falcon" xxiii. 
 Curate, fluty-voiced, 278 
 Cuteness and simplicity, 159, 160 
 Cyclone in Japan seas, 140, 141 
 
 Dance, Mr., 350 
 
 Dancing on board, 73, 74 
 
 Dane, Mr., 30, 96 
 
 " Daughters," 345 
 
 Davits, how worked, 156 
 
 " Deaf mute, the," 330 
 
 Death on board, a, 105 
 
 Deck-chair, my, 226 
 
 Deck-chairs, nuisances, 61 
 
 "Demonstration in force, the," 312 
 
 Detective, suspected of being a, 300, 
 301 
 
 Detectives, 117 
 
 Diamonds, 113 
 
 Digital dialogue, 330 
 
 Dining saloon, 7 
 
 Dinner costume, 5 
 
 , dressing for, 5 
 
 , first, 6, 7 
 
 ■ , menu, the, 7 
 
 , " peaceful shrine," 58 
 
 Distance from home, 144 
 Diving under the Clyde, 305 
 Doctor Blandford, 109, 117 
 
 , Clyde, 43, 325 
 
 , duties of ship's, 44 
 
 ill, 117, 139, 140 
 
 , inflexible, 47 
 
 Doctor's mimicry, 144 
 
 monkey, 287, 288 
 
 narrow escape, 346, 350 
 
 Doctors, how chosen, 109 
 Dog overboard, 344 
 Doldrums, 81, 89 
 Dolphin and flying-fish, 63 
 Dolphins, 124 
 Dons, Spanish, 172 
 Douro-e-Minho, Transniontes, 48
 
 INDEX. 
 
 359 
 
 " Dream of fair women, a," 321 
 " Drunkards' corner," 232 
 Dumb motions, 240 
 
 E 
 
 Eggnog, 325 
 
 Electric light goes out, 281, 282 
 
 , riridle, 282 
 
 Elephant and partridge, 294 
 Emigrant's diamond ring lost, 273 
 Emigrants, dangers from, 79, 80 
 
 ■ feeding, 53, 54 
 
 gambling, 54 
 
 leave the Clyde, 139 
 
 rejected, 45 
 
 , whitlvr bound, 54 
 
 Emigrants' costumes, 47 
 
 dirty practices, 55 
 
 ■ red wine, 54 
 
 thrift, 48 
 
 " Empty, a returned," 264 
 Engines put back, 318 
 English lady on railways, 231 
 
 on the boat question, 231 
 
 , third-class, 305, 306 
 
 *' Englishman, on the word of an," 
 
 162 
 Englishmen, 109 
 
 in Argentina, 161 
 
 " English-Portuguese," 329, 330 
 Enterprise illustrated, 141-143 
 Entre Rios, 163 
 Equator, " seeing the," 88, 89 
 Estrella do Sid, 113 
 *' Eternal Rosas," 175 
 Exaggeration, 141-143 
 Exercise on board, 314 
 Explanation, personal, 300 
 
 F 
 
 Fall into the hold, a, 296 
 Fallowes, Dr., 117 
 " Farewell ! " 352 
 
 ■ to the Clyde, 350 
 
 Fares, xxvii., xxviii. 
 Father John Martin, 114 
 Fauteuil, my, 107 
 Fear, 80 
 
 Fear breeds solemnity, 3 
 Feather-flowers, 110 
 "Felicitas Julia," 27 
 Fernando de Norhona, 93, 286, 288 
 Ferns, 262 
 
 , my, 272, 296, 334 
 
 "Fiddles," the, 48 
 
 Fight, shark, sword-fish, and whale, 
 
 118, 119 
 Fin-de siecle ladies, 266 
 Fire-drill, 79,80 
 Fireflies, 177, 205 
 
 Fire stations and boat-drill, 237, 238 
 Flannels, my, 72, 73 
 Flora, tropical, 132 
 Flores, farewell ! 156 
 
 , lazaretto, 226 
 
 , quarantine station, 154 
 
 Florida, 120 
 Flowers, 296, 297 
 Flying-fish, 62, 296 
 
 , certificate as to, 75 
 
 described, 64 
 
 , enemies of, 63 
 
 , my, 74-76 
 
 Food, advice as to, 314 
 Forebodings, 6 
 French boats, xxv. 
 
 missionary, 292 
 
 , Mr , 30 
 
 Frenchman, complaisant, 324 
 
 Friends, new, 227 
 
 Fuueral service at sea, 295, 296 
 
 G 
 
 Gale, a, 50, 87, 144 
 
 Galicia, 48 
 
 Gallant rescue, 344 
 
 " Game to the last," 197 
 
 " Gate of Hell," 86 
 
 Gauchos, 168, 172, 173 
 
 German piping-bullfinch, 278 
 
 Germans cut us out, 56 
 
 Good-byes, 2 
 
 Good nature, 292-294 
 
 Gosclien, Mr., appeal to, 192 
 
 Graham, Mr., 123, 140 
 
 Grandees, 172 
 
 Grant, Capt., 323, 324
 
 360 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Gringo, 161, 162, 168 
 
 Grumblers, 313, 314 
 
 Guarani, 172 
 
 " Guardian Angel, the," 322 
 
 Gulf Line, the, 72 
 
 Gulls, ominous, 3 
 
 H 
 
 " Half dog. half bear," 273 
 Hamburg to Harwich, 232 
 Happiness, 117 
 Hash-slinger, the, 56 
 Hats and caps, 86 
 Health, aids to, 62 
 
 , improving, 62 
 
 , my, 227, 345 
 
 Heat, S3 
 
 in cabin 86°, 275 
 
 in Rio, 131 
 
 , man who did not feel the, 203, 
 
 201 
 
 oppressive on board, 275 
 
 to cold, 296 
 
 , tropical, 88 
 
 Heaven and Hades, 86 
 
 " Heirs of kings," 306 
 
 " Heroes rehearsing," 237 
 
 Hidalgos, 172 
 
 Himalaya, H.M S., 65, 72 
 
 " His watch," 319 
 
 Hold, fall into the, 296 
 
 Holmes, Oliver Wendell, 87 
 
 Home! "Like a sheeted ghost," etc., 
 
 351 
 "Honest Quaker," 315, 316 
 Hot-water pipes round cabins, 348 
 " How, when, and where," xxiv. 
 Hypnotism, 75 
 
 lllia dos Flores, 151 
 
 Lobos, 151 
 
 Imperador, the, 96 
 Imposture, my first and last, 4 
 In flagrante delicto, 94 
 Information, books giving full (as to 
 
 places visited), xxx. 
 Insect noises, 203 
 
 Introductions, awkward, 51 
 
 Introspection, 300 
 
 " Invalided," 341 
 
 Invalids, 26 
 
 Invitation, peculiar, 342 
 
 lrex, s.s., 5 
 
 " Irons, put iu," 305 
 
 " Island of Flowers," 151 
 
 of Seals, 151 
 
 Itamarati Falls, 229 
 Itaparica, island of, 107 
 
 " Jack and Jill," 59 
 
 " ashore at Christmas," 319 
 
 " Jacko," 287, 288 
 
 Janeiro, 127 
 
 Jangadas, 96 
 
 J. D. S., 78 
 
 John Bull to the Argentine, 162 
 
 Judas Maccabxus, 291 
 
 K 
 
 " Karing Cross," 265 
 
 " King Charles's head," 116 
 
 Kitteu, comical, 143 
 
 , ship's, 143 
 
 Knight, E. F, barrister-at-law, 
 
 author of " Cruise of the Falcon," 
 
 xxiii. 
 Koh-i-nur, 113 
 
 Lady re Registrar-General's report, 
 334-336 
 
 , "self-willed," etc., 322 
 
 La Plata City, 209, 210 
 Las Palmas, 59, 317 
 Last merry meeting, our, 346 
 Latitude, longitude, and run — 24th 
 October, 13; 25th October, 21; 
 28th October, 53; 29th October, 
 57; 30th October, 61; 31st Oc- 
 tober, 62 ; 2nd November, 78 ; 
 3rd November, 83 ; 4th November 
 88; 5(h November, 93; 7th No- 
 vember, 105; 9th November, 119;
 
 INDEX. 
 
 361 
 
 13th November, 143; 14th No- 
 vember, 148 ; 28th November, 230 ; 
 29th November, 237 ; 2nd Decem- 
 ber, 263; 3rd December, 266; 
 6th December, 286 ; 7th December, 
 290; 8th December, 296; 9th 
 December, 300; 11th December, 
 312; 12th December, 315; 13th 
 December, 318 ; 14tli December, 
 321; 15th December, 325, 
 
 Lazaretto described, 154 
 
 Leap for life, 156 
 
 Left behind, 116 
 
 " Lejeu ne vaut pas," etc., 331 
 
 Lemon-squash — my beverage, 343 
 
 L'Etivoi, 351, 352 
 
 " Let me out ! " 304 
 
 " Lifeboat, my," 323 
 
 "Light astern," 151 
 
 Liguria, s.s., 276, 2S1 
 
 , Clyde catches and passes the, 
 
 289 
 
 Line, crossing the, 88, 290 
 
 Lisbon, "American spoken" ! 43 
 
 , anchored off, 25 
 
 , Argentina gold, 334 
 
 , Aqueduct, the, 35 
 
 , Bica dos Ohhos, 36 
 
 , births, deaths, and marriages, 
 
 34,35 
 
 ■ , cats, oxen, smells, turkeys, 34 
 
 , Chafarizes, the, 36 
 
 , Chapel of St. Vinceute Cathe- 
 dral, 31 
 
 , Cintra hills, 25 
 
 , , railway to, 36, 37 
 
 ■ , Circo dos Touros, 30 
 
 , coaling at, 29, 333 
 
 , consul to, 8 
 
 , Cork Convent, 42 
 
 , craft in Tagus, 29, 30 
 
 , Da Avenida railway station, 
 
 36,37 
 
 , Diogo Alves, 35 
 
 , clogs and grapes, 42, 43 
 
 , earthquake, 16 
 
 , at, 1755, 28 
 
 , emigrants embarking, 43 
 
 , founded, 27 
 
 , fruit-sellers, 34 
 
 Lisbon, Hermit Honorius, the, 42 
 
 Holy Manger, the, 32 
 
 homeward bound, 326 
 
 hookey fingers, 30 
 
 house-numbering, 31 
 
 Igreja da Graca, 32 
 
 illuminated, 49 
 
 Irish Brigade, the, 29 
 
 market, 35 
 
 maternity chair, 32 
 
 Nossa Senhoia do Monte, 32 
 
 not quarantined, 326 
 
 one-legged boatman, 331 
 
 pictures, "ex voto," 32, 33 
 
 Pog's fountain, 36 
 
 Praci do Rocio, 26 
 
 priests, 31 
 
 prize for beauty among Euro- 
 pean cities, 27 
 
 Quinta de Monserrate, 41, 42 
 
 ravens, the two, 31 
 
 river of, 26 
 
 rock of, 25 
 
 Rua Boavista, 36 
 
 Sage femrne, 31 
 
 Senhor Dom Murphy, 29 
 
 seven hills of, 27 
 
 streets, long names of, 30 
 
 temperature of, 30 
 
 " Tiger Tim," 29 
 
 trees, chief, 42 
 
 wax models, " ex voto" 32 
 
 Whirlpool, the, 28 
 "Listening eye," 49 
 " Little things," 324 
 Lloyd, Edward, 105 
 
 , Mr., of Llangollen, 216, 217 
 
 London " knee-deep in snow," 351 
 
 Long, Mr., 56 
 
 Longitude and watches, 295 
 
 " , mind the," 206 
 
 Look-out man, 89, 90 
 " Love and duty, 'twixt," 325 
 Lusitania, s.s., 154 
 Luxor, 87 
 
 M 
 
 Macaws, 121 
 Madeline Gardens, 100
 
 3G2 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Mafia, 40 
 Mails, 2 
 Mai de mer, 3 
 Mandioc, 234 
 Manley, Mr., 58 
 Marmoset, a, 272 
 
 and tartar emetic, 286 
 
 Marmoset's leap, 286, 287 
 Marmosets, 110 
 
 ■ die, where, 315 
 
 Masorqueros, 174 
 Measles, 83 
 
 "Me, mum?" etc., 333 
 Mendoza, earthquake, 180 
 Menu criticised, 313, 314 
 Mervin, Mr., 230, 281, 311 
 
 , at the organ, 345, 346 
 
 , impromptu, 313 
 
 Messageries Marttimes, xxiii.-xxviii. 
 
 Mexican saddle, 40 
 
 Mill, John Stewart, 84 
 
 Mirth, 12 
 
 Missouri, 120 
 
 Moldonado, 151 
 
 Monedas, the, 239 
 
 Monkey and kitten, Darwin, 285 
 
 -— lovers, 316, 317 
 
 Monkeys, 277 
 
 Monte Video, 151, 152, 217, 218 
 
 • , Aguada, 222 
 
 — Bay, 152 
 
 Bella Vista, 222 
 
 Boulevard 18 de Julio, 221 
 
 bull-ring, 222 
 
 butchers, 224 
 
 Calle 25 de Mayo, 222 
 
 casemated arches, 221 
 
 Cerro, 152 
 
 church of the Bascos, 221 
 
 cold intense, 151 
 
 Corbinas, 153 
 
 costumes, 153 
 
 discharging cargo, 156 
 
 dollar, the, 224 
 
 Evans, Mr., 223 
 
 Exchange, the, 221 
 
 farewell! 226 
 
 Flores, anchored off, 154 
 
 , General, 22] 
 
 food prices, 223 
 
 Monte Video, founded, 218 
 
 , growth of, 218 
 
 , how fortunes are made, 106 
 
 , landing quarantined passen- 
 gers, 155 
 
 ■ , launches, 153 
 
 , lazaretto, 154, 155 
 
 ■ , leap for life, 156 
 
 , lighthouse, 152 
 
 , Manzanas (blocks), 218 
 
 , Matrix, the, 221 
 
 , milkmen, 224 
 
 ■ , millionaire, a, 223 
 
 , ex tongues, 222 
 
 , Pando, 222 
 
 , Paso Molino, 221 
 
 , Paysandii heroes of, 222 
 
 , pears and bananas, 156 
 
 , Prado, 218 
 
 , quarantine, 152 
 
 , - reprisals, 153 
 
 , quarantined, 154 
 
 , Quinteios, 221 
 
 , racecourse, 222 
 
 , San Jose Fort, 221 
 
 , Santa Lucia water, 218, 221 
 
 , shipping, 153 
 
 , souvenirs, 225 
 
 , Spanish Fort, 152 
 
 , streets, 218 
 
 , sunset at, 157 
 
 — -, Town Hall, 221 
 
 , Tram lines, 223, 224 
 
 , Turner, Mr., 225 
 
 , Union Village, 222 
 
 , waggons, 224 
 
 , yellow fever, 154 
 
 f flag, 153 
 
 , Zavalda, Don Mauricio, 218 
 
 Moonlight, glorious, 64 
 
 " Moore and Burgess," 58, 59 
 
 " Moore's sweetest melody," 59 
 
 Moorgate Street, London, E.C. 
 Offices of the Boyal Mail, xxvi. 
 
 Moselle, s.s., R. M. S. P. C, xxvii. 
 
 Mosquito, a, 194, 195 
 
 curtains, 194 
 
 Mosquitoes, 195, 196 
 
 '• Mother Carey's chickens," 63 
 
 Mothers on board, 118
 
 INDEX. 
 
 363 
 
 Mules and horses, 175 
 Municipium, 27 
 Musgrave, Captain, 140, 217 
 Musical prescription, 77 
 Music saloon. 15 
 
 N 
 Naples, 27 
 Nautilus fables, 22 
 
 , Pope on the, 22 
 
 Nautiluses, 21 
 
 gone, 329 
 
 Navel oranges, 110 
 Navigation dangerous. 151 
 "Needles," near the, 349 
 
 ■ , off the, 5 
 
 Negro children, rearing, 121 
 
 Nigger houses, 1 1 2 
 
 Nitheroi, 125, 127 
 
 North German Lloyd steamer, 80 
 
 Note-book, my, 29) 
 
 Nursery rhymes, 85 
 
 , ship's, 118 
 
 O 
 
 Obstinacy, xxvi. 
 
 Officers, kindness of Clyde, 117, 324 
 
 Officers' quarters, 14 
 
 Olinda, 95 
 
 , Boa Vista, 98, 99 
 
 ■ , hut iu, 97 
 
 ■ , Jesuit priests, 99 
 
 , origin of the name, 98 
 
 Ollendorff, Mr., 21, 84, 165 
 
 Olyssipo, 27 
 
 " On ward, Christian soldiers," 77, 320, 
 
 321 
 Oranges, 96 
 Orchids, 261, 262 
 Ordeal by twig, 274 
 Organ Mountains, 127, 242 
 '• Orientals," 222 
 Orinoho, s.s., 281 
 Orion, 92 
 Ostrich-farming, Argentine, 82 
 
 Pace kills, 20 
 
 " Paddy's wedding," 311, 312 
 
 Palanquins, 111 
 
 Palms, 125 
 
 Pampero, absence of, 315 
 
 described, 145-147 
 
 threatening, 140 
 
 " P. and O." wreck (Plymouth), 334 
 Papa-gayo, 278 
 
 Paper money, how used> 191, 192 
 — — , " infection currency," 191 
 Paradise, Gate of, 125 
 Paraguayan tea, 173 
 Parana, river, 163 
 Parrot chloroformed, 313 
 
 , my, 277 
 
 , , a scare, 302—304 
 
 overboard, 343, 344 
 
 Parrots, 110, 121 
 
 and marmoiet, 278, 281 
 
 tea-party, 282, 285 
 
 , butcher's, 277 
 
 -• die, where, 315 
 
 dying, 326 
 
 "Partners," the, 103, 104 
 Passage charming, 2y6 
 Passage-money, xxv., xxvii. 
 Passeio D. Pedro, etc., Lisbon, 44 
 Pears, huge, 156 
 Pedometer at sea, xxv. 
 Pellegrini, Dr. Carlos, 186 
 Peninsular wars, 42 
 Peons, 173 
 Pernambuco, S6, 95 
 
 , Algarrobo trees, 100 
 
 -, anchoring at, 95 
 
 , bartering with bumboats, 276 
 
 , Boa Vista quarter, 98 
 
 , Brazilian politeness, 100 
 
 -, bullock carts, 101 
 
 , bumboats, 96 
 
 — , cafe, 100 
 
 , Catamarans, 96, 97 
 
 , churches, 96 
 
 , coffee, splendid, 104 
 
 , Dane, Mr., leaves us, 96 
 
 , Duarte Cochlo, 97 
 
 , frigate-pelican, 96 
 
 , going ashore, 96 
 
 , Jesuit College, 98, 99 
 
 ■ , lottery tickets, 100, 101 
 
 , monkeys, 276, 277
 
 364 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Pemambuco, negresses, 100, 102 
 
 , no pineapples, 281 
 
 , not lauding explained, 300 
 
 , nude children, 100 
 
 , oranges, 96 
 
 , " Partners," the, 103, 104 
 
 , parrots, 276, 277 
 
 , past and present, 98 
 
 , " Piccadilly " of, 102 
 
 , pineapples, 96, 97, 276 
 
 , Recife, 96 
 
 , quarter, 98. 
 
 , restaurants, 100 
 
 , San Antonio quarter, 98 
 
 ■ , sharks, 97 
 
 ■ , smells, 101 
 
 , souvenir, a, 102 
 
 , streets of, 99 
 
 , sugar, 101 
 
 , trams, 100 
 
 Petroleum as fuel for ships, 333 
 
 Petropolis, 127 
 
 , a glimpse of, 126 
 
 , palace, 127 
 
 , Rio, 120 
 
 Petty, Mr., 154, 160 
 
 , on trade-unions, 161 
 
 Phillips, Mr., 22 
 
 Philosopher, 3 
 
 Phoenicians, 27 
 
 Phosphorescent light, 89 
 
 Picnic, Thames, 320 
 
 Piedras, Point, 163 
 
 Pilot of River Plate, 154, 160 
 
 Pineapples, 96 
 
 Plate River, 163 
 
 Pocahontases, 172 
 
 P. O. G., Pog, 11 
 
 "Pog," 11, 12, 16-19, 21, 24, 36, 40, 
 52, 53, 55, 61, 75-77, 83, 84, 91, 
 93-95, 105,114, 116, 117, 119,120, 
 121, 133, 135, 147, 148, 157-160, 
 164 
 
 Police, our, 301 
 
 Political economy, 84 
 
 Porpoises, 82 
 
 , school of, 325 
 
 Portenas, 210 
 
 Porthea, s.s., 301 
 
 Portland coast, 8 
 
 Portland Coast, off, 349 
 Port-lights screwed up, 275 
 Portly old gentleman, 3, 11 
 Ports visited, xxiv. 
 Portuguese ablutions, 238 
 
 and Brazilians, 84 
 
 arithmetic, 272 
 
 coming home, 238 
 
 dance, 54 
 
 , death of, 295, 296 
 
 , dying, 291 
 
 long-suffering, 305 
 
 "money dance," 239, 240 
 
 town on board, 79 
 
 "Portuguese- Englishman," 329, 330 
 
 " Potentate " the, 123 
 
 Powell, Mr., 350 
 
 "Pratique," 108, 109 
 
 Prawns, immense, 291 
 
 "Premature," 293 
 
 " Prodigal son," 84 
 
 Pro's and con's, weighing, xxiv.- 
 
 xxvii. 
 Proverb, ship's, 81 
 Provisions on board, 7 
 Purbeck Island, 8 
 Purgatorial fog, 155 
 Purser, the, 117 
 interviewed, 78, 79 
 
 Q 
 Quarantine caprice, 152, 153 
 
 described, 154, 155 
 
 fees, 4, 5, 155 
 
 reprisals, 153 
 
 Quintas, 177 
 Quiroga, Facendo, 274 
 
 R 
 
 Rain, heavy, 345 
 
 Rainbows in the spray, 315 
 
 Banrho, a, 204 
 
 Rechauffe stories, 59 
 
 " Recife, Leaping the," 141-143 
 
 "Reckitt's" advertisement, 311 
 
 Red wine, 54 
 
 Refrigerator, 141 
 
 Relampago, 107 
 
 Reliance, s.s., 107
 
 INDEX. 
 
 365 
 
 " Remove that man ! " 342, 343 
 
 Reptiles, 114 
 
 Republics, Brazil aud United States 
 
 compared, 120 
 "Requiescat in pacibus," 195 
 Ringer, Mr., 20, 127 
 Rio, 54, 113 
 
 , Africans, 128 
 
 Rio, Alexandre, Colonel, 250 
 
 , Aqueduct, 130 
 
 , arches, 132 
 
 , as a place of residence, bad, 2G0 
 
 Avenue of Palms, 132-135 
 
 Bay, 125, 126 
 
 , mouth of, 257 
 
 Boa Viagem Fort, 125 
 Botauical Gardens, 131-135 
 Botofogo, 125, 131, 132, 246 
 churches, 129 
 , cockroaches, 135 
 cool residences, 87 
 Corcovado, 126, 127, 245 
 
 , an awful corner, 247 
 
 precipice, 247, 248 
 
 railway, 246-249 
 
 , sleeping on, 250 
 
 de La Plata, 163 
 
 , geological, 163 
 
 , drainage, 135 
 ex-Emperor, 250, 253 
 Fecial Revolucao! 250,253 
 flora, 132 
 Gavia, 129 
 Gloria Church, 253 
 Grande do Sul, 144 
 , Gravata Fort, 125 
 " grin and bear it," 131 
 
 Harbour, 125 
 
 , bathing, 135 
 
 , smells, 139 
 
 , heat of, 131 
 
 , Hotel Globo, 245, 260, 267 
 
 , Villa Moreau, 130 
 
 , how to drain, 139 
 
 , Una das Cobras, 125 
 
 , Fiscale, 125 
 
 , illuminated, 131 
 
 (from Corcovado), illuminated, 
 
 249 
 , Imperial Chapel, 128 
 
 Rio de Janeiro, 127 
 
 La Candellaria, 129 
 
 , La Gloria, 129 
 
 , Larangerins, 127 
 
 , main street, 131 
 
 , " Maison Moderne," 135 
 
 , market-place, 127 
 
 , merchants, 127 
 
 , narrow streets, 132 
 
 , nearing, 123, 124 
 
 , negrcsses, 128 
 
 , niggers, 131 
 
 , Nitheroi, 125, 127 
 
 , old Dutch Fort, 126 
 
 , Orchid-hunting on Corcovado, 
 
 259 
 
 , Organ Mountains, 127. 
 
 , Paneiras, Hotel Corcovado, 247, 
 
 249, 250, 259, 267 
 
 , railway, 246 
 
 , Petropolis, 127 
 
 , prawns, 291 
 
 , Rua da Ouvidor, 129 
 
 , Direita, 128 
 
 , Santa Crux, 125 
 
 , Sao Domingos, 125 
 
 , Juan, 125 
 
 , sleeping in, bad, 135 
 
 , " Stone man," 129, 130 
 
 , streets, 131, 132 
 
 , " Sugar-Loaf," 130, 245 
 
 , sun, 133 
 
 , sunrise from Corcovado, 254, 
 
 257-259 
 
 , sunset, 130, 131 
 
 , from Corcovado, 246, 249 
 
 " the beautiful," 124 
 
 , the Republic, 253 
 
 , Tijuca, 126, 127, 129 
 
 , Falls, 129 
 
 , , view from, 129 
 
 , Tribuna newspaper riot, 245, 
 
 250, 253, 267 
 
 , tropical forest on Corcovado, 
 
 247 
 
 , Ville Gaignon Fort, 125 
 
 , Viuva Mount, 125 
 
 , White's Hotel, 130 
 
 , yellow fever, 132 
 
 Ritchie, J. K., Mr., 13, 14, 76, 95,
 
 366 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 117, 226, 228, 262, 315, 316, 325, 
 350 
 
 Ritchie and a third engineer, 239 
 
 " Club," 116,332 
 
 , good ni^ht to, 348 
 
 Ritchie's servant Clark, 290 
 
 sword, 329 
 
 River Plate pilot, 151 
 
 Rocket signals, 301 
 
 " Romeo and Juliet," 316, 317, 326 
 
 " Ronda," 51 
 
 Rosario de Santa Fe', 206, 209 
 
 Rosns, Don Manuel, 172-175 
 
 Royal Mail versus Messageries Mart- 
 times, xxiv., xxv. 
 
 Run a-muck, 122 
 
 Russell, W. Clark, xxiii. 
 
 "St. Alban,"77, 320, 321 
 
 St. Bernard puppy, 320 
 
 St. Michael's oranges, 73 
 
 Saint, his patron, 331 
 
 St. Vincent, Bird Island, 65, 66 
 
 , "bronze statues," 68 
 
 , cable buildings at, 69 
 
 , chilly, 311 
 
 , clergyman for, 56 
 
 , coal companies, 56 
 
 , cricket, 67, 69-71 
 
 , diarrhoea in, 62 
 
 , diving, 68, 305 
 
 , foreign consulates, 67 
 
 , heat of, 67 
 
 , homeward bound, 301 
 
 , houses in, 67 
 
 , infection in, 67 
 
 , Mindella, 67 
 
 , Porto Grande, 66 
 
 , shell necklaces, 67 
 
 , shipping coal, 311 
 
 , sunset, a, 308 
 
 , swimming at, 69 
 
 , telegraphists, 69 
 
 , water in, 62 
 
 , women's work, 68 
 
 " Samaritan, the Good," 123 
 San Antonio, Cape, 107 
 San Paulo, 118, 233, 231 
 
 San Paulo, coffee, 231 
 
 , houses, 231 
 
 , Itatiaia Mountain, 231 
 
 , population, 231 
 
 , scenery, 231 
 
 , Serra do Mar, 231 
 
 to Rio by rail, 231 
 
 Santos, 51, 283 
 
 Santos, "a little below," 113, 111 
 
 and San Paulo, 229 
 
 , Sho Paolo, 118 
 
 S;.podillas, 318 
 
 " Saved ! " 156 
 
 Saxon, the fair-haired, 55 
 
 Scheldt frozen over, 350 
 
 Scotchmen, 109 
 
 Scott, Mr., 291 
 
 Sea, heavy, 55 
 
 , never dull at, 238 
 
 , rough, 336, 315 
 
 .smooth, 296, 312 
 
 very rough, 230, 318, 319 
 
 Seasons, muddling, 329 
 Sea-water bath, 59 
 Second officer, 117 
 Self-possession, 302 
 Sermon, text for, 90, 91 
 Serpent, H.M.S., 340 
 Service, religious, 76, 290 
 Shakes, great and little, xxv. 
 Shark, Clyde's first, 282 
 Sharks, 97 
 
 , Pernambuco, 89 
 
 Shave, easy, 87, 298 
 Shaved at Lisbon, 51 
 " Ship's comedian, the," 161 
 Ship's lights curious, 265 
 
 wake, 89 
 
 Shoal water, 151 
 
 "Sick-room odour," 101 
 
 Signals, rocket, 301 
 
 Sirius, 92 
 
 Skin preserved by water, 225, 226 
 
 Slaves poison themselves, 122 
 
 Sleep, xxiv. 
 
 " Sliding scale, the," 315 
 
 Small-pox on board, 106 
 
 Smell, tropical, 200 
 
 Smile fell off, 4 
 
 Smiling, 3
 
 INDEX. 
 
 367 
 
 Smoking club, 341 
 Snakes, 120 
 Snoring, 9, 21, 24 
 
 cured, 25] 
 
 Snowstorm, in a, 350 
 
 in Channel, 349 
 
 Soap, Uruguayan, 298 
 " So do not come there," 301 
 " Solomon Pog, Enquire," 160 
 " Song of the Clyde, a," 346-348 
 South America, 41 
 
 Pole-star, 91 
 
 Southampton, Custom House, 350> 
 
 351 
 
 , off, 350 
 
 ■ , train fares, dock fees, etc., 1 
 
 "Southern Cross," 87-92, 118, 141, 
 
 229, 230, 275 
 
 ■ , diagrams, 90 
 
 ■ , diagram of True and k False 
 
 Crosses, 286 
 Spaniard and Portuguese, 85, 190 
 Spaniards, 86 
 Spanish Argentines, 85 
 Spirit of God, 93 
 " Spondee eye," 49 
 Spooner, J. Douglas, Capt., 13, 74 
 " Star " razor, 87 
 Steam launch, our, 155 
 Stewards' collision on Clyde, 48, 49 
 Stimulants, 326 
 Stirling Castle, 9.3., 164 
 Stoic philosophy, 116 
 " Stowaway," the, 94 
 Stuttgardt, s.s., 305 
 Sud America, s.s., 164 
 " Sugar-Loaf," the, 124 
 Suicide, alleged, 116 
 Sun gone below, 22 
 
 on mountains. 124 
 
 Sun-bath, 13, 339, 340 
 Sun's cocktail, 295 
 
 P.P.C. visit, 312 
 
 Suurise at sea, 92, 93, 294, 295 
 Sunset, 157 
 
 aud nightfall, 308, 311 
 
 Sweepstakes on the " run," 53 
 Sword-fish, 118, 119 
 Sympathy, 47 
 
 Table manners, queer, 233 
 Tagus, 25 
 
 . down the, 50 
 
 , leaving the, 331 
 
 , near the, 25 
 
 " Tainted source, a," 336 
 
 Tapioca, 234 
 
 Tarantulas, 82, 262 
 
 Tea-party, parrots and marmoset, 282, 
 
 285 
 Temperature variable, 317, 318 
 Teneriffe, 317 
 Terror dd Mundo, s.s., 164 
 Thames picnic, 320 
 Third-class Englishmen, 305, 306 
 Thome da Sousa, 113 
 Thresher-shark, 118, 119 
 Thumb-nail, long, 101 
 Tiger " at home," 239 
 Tigre, 204, 205 
 
 , fireflies, 205 
 
 , muddled, 205, 206 
 
 Tijuca, 127, 129 
 
 , Hotel Villa Moreau, 130 
 
 , sunset from, 130, 131 
 
 Time, the measure of, 226 
 
 Tippling passenger, 240 
 
 Torinano, Cape, 340 
 
 Torres Vedras, 40 
 
 " Touching Europe," 326 
 
 Toys on deck, 118 
 
 Trade-unionism, 160, 161 
 
 Trade winds, 81 
 
 Travelling, confusion from rapid, 
 
 262, 263 
 Trees, huge, 114 
 Tricks on board, 89 
 Trip choosing, xxiii., xxiv. 
 , how the £100 was laid out, 
 
 xxviii.,'xxix. 
 Tropical rain, 272 
 
 vegetation, 108 
 
 True and False Crosses, 91 
 
 Turtles, 120 
 
 Twenty-reis piece, 91 
 
 Two and two don't make four, 84 
 
 Typhoid, 117
 
 368 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 U 
 
 Ulysses, 27 
 
 Unheritfen, 11 
 
 " Under the table, faces," 342 
 
 United States, 119 
 
 Urquiza, General, 175 
 
 Uruguay, 222 
 
 , imported goods, 225 
 
 , population, 222, 223 
 
 , produce, 223 
 
 , river, 163 
 
 Uruguay, s.s., 305 
 
 Uruguayan complexions, 225, 226 
 
 soap, 298 
 
 Uruguayans, beauty of the, 225, 226 
 Ushant, Cape, 343 
 Island, 11 
 
 Valparaiso, s.s., 336 
 Venezuelan fleet, 63 
 Verde Islands, Brava Island, 66 
 
 , famine, 65 
 
 , Fogo Island, 66 
 
 , Portuguese penal settlements, 
 
 65, 304 
 
 , produce, 66 
 
 • , St. Antonio (St. Antao) Island, 
 
 66, 304 
 
 , St. Vincent, 65, 304, 305 
 
 , temperature of, 65 
 
 , turtles, 66 
 
 Verse, by Pog after Moore, 121 
 Verses, "A Nobodee," 306, 307 
 , " A Song of the Clyde," 346- 
 
 348 
 ■ , " Bread cast upon the waters," 
 
 45-47 
 
 , " Captain Cuttle," 148 
 
 , " From Tijuca Peak," 136-138 
 
 , " Here and there," 91 
 
 , " If you want to pass the time," 
 
 185 
 
 , " Jacko," 288 
 
 , " UEnvoi," 351, 352 
 
 ■ , " Lisbon " illuminated, 49 
 
 , " Might and right," 175 
 
 Verses, " Por Bern," 39 
 
 , Pro's and Con's, 260, 261 
 
 , " There's a path," etc., 301 
 
 , " The violet lives," etc., 297 
 
 , " Uruguayan Soap," 298-300 
 
 , " While in my cup of Life," 198 
 
 Vieira, 98 
 Vigo, 4 
 
 , appearance, 336, 337, 339 
 
 , bombarded, 338 
 
 , Bongas, 338 
 
 , Cangas, 338 
 
 , cattle trade, 336 
 
 , Ceis or Bayona Island, 336, 339 
 
 , Drake's exploit, 337, 338 
 
 , from Southampton forty hours, 
 
 339 
 
 , Lazaretto de San Simon, 337 
 
 , leaving, 339 
 
 , Lord Cobham, 338 
 
 , population, 336 
 
 , port of, 338 
 
 , quarantine, 4 
 
 , Renaud, Count Chateau, 337 
 
 , sardines, 338 
 
 J Spanish treasure cast into sea, 
 
 338 
 Vigo Bay, 336 
 Villa Longa Company, 164 
 Villano, Cape, 340 
 Vine, my steward, 230, 237 
 Vine's presence of mind, 302-304 
 Vino tinto, 48 
 Vintem poupado, etc., 91 
 Vis-a-vis, my, 292-294 
 Volapiik, facial, 3 
 
 W 
 
 " Waiting," 217 
 Washing decks, 118 
 Watches and longitude, 295 
 Water at sunrise, 93 
 
 , inviting, 114 
 
 Water-pumping on the Pampas, 82 
 Waterloo Station, 1, 2 
 , train to, 351
 
 INDEX. 
 
 369 
 
 Weather bright and cool, 312 
 
 calm, 117 
 
 chilly, 311 
 
 cool, 118, 124 
 
 , heat bearable, grand breeze, 143 
 
 perfect, 62, 107, 124 
 
 , snow, wind, rain, 348, 340 
 
 Wellington, Duke of, 42 
 
 -, toad story, 323, 324 
 
 Whale, a, 118, H9 
 
 at close quarters, 265 
 
 spouting, 58 
 
 Whale-bird, 125 
 Whaler, a, 63 
 Whales, 122, 123 
 Whales' food, 123 
 Wind freshening, 55, 322 
 
 , violent, 348 
 
 Wood, Mr. Horace, 203, 215 
 Wordsicorth, s.s., Lamport and Holt 
 line, 217 
 
 '• Yachting trip on grand scale," xxiv. 
 Yankee, liverish, 141 
 
 , our, 57 
 
 theology, 58 
 
 Yarn, Bouquet, the, 296, 297 
 
 , "Dear, kind, papa," 240, 211 
 
 , Diamonds in pills, 263-265 
 
 , " Jones and Jones," 332, 333 
 
 , " Leaping the Recife," 141-143 
 
 , Russian Count and little man, 
 
 22-24 
 
 , Silver hunter, the, 157-159 
 
 , Stained nails, 20, 21 
 
 Yellow fever, 110, 132, 133, 154 
 Yerba mate, 173 
 
 /. 
 
 Zavala, Don Mauricio, 218 
 
 Note to Page 122, Lines 28-30.— Since writing this, I have 
 learnt, with great pleasure, that on the 13th of May, 188S, a Bill 
 was passed for the immediate and unconditional emancipation of 
 all slaves throughout what was then the Empire of Brazil.— C. C. A. 
 
 LONDON: l'RINTED BY WILLIAM CLOWES AND SONS, LIMITED, 
 STAMFORD STRF.ET AND CHARING CROSS. 
 
 2 B
 
 A Catalogue of America?} and Foreign Books Published or 
 
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 October, 1890. 
 
 8 Selection from tfte Xfet of Books 
 
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 ALPHABETICAL LIST. 
 
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 Godfrey Morgan 
 
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 Mathias Sandorf .... 
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